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Volume 22 Number 8 January 1996 


5 Bits & Pieces 52 Melanie: 
Watch the Anna Nicole Smith Gang-Bang Cut to the Quiff 
and Take Cover From the Tunabomber Photography by Clive McLean 
Edited by Elon Schoenholz ‘ 
62 Tanya Danielle: 
13 Feedback Ride, Sally, Ride 
Bent Letters From Smitten Admirers Photography by Matti Klatt 
14 Mark Fuhrman 70 Adrianna and 
in Hell — Jessica: Love Buds 
The Devil Is a Nigq—! Photography by Matti Klatt 
21 Erotic — 78 Killer Chemicals 
Entertainment The Terrorist’s New Tools 
Skin, Scum and the XXX Scandals of 1995 Report by Fletcher Margolis 
Edited by Mike McPadden 
82 Tammy: 
31 Hot Letters Candid Cooze 
Words With Which to Whack Centerfold Photography by James Baes 
33 The Year in Yanking |92 HUSTLER Humor 
HUSTLER Picks the Ten Best Porn Tapes Edited by Mike McPadden 
of the Past 12 Months and Jeanne Diamond 
41 Miracle Tuna Melt 94 Cyber Censors 
Debitching Tray Tearing Down the Information 
Frozen Pussy, Ready to Fuck in Seconds Superhighway 
Report by Allan MacDonell 
45 Sex Play : 
Love Stinks: 10Q Marc and Claire: 
The Joy of Farting Together Sweet Charity 
tes by Roberto Santiago Photography by Clive McLean 
= |} : 48 The Brideski 117 Beaver Hunt 
C ee Came C.QO.D. Peering Into the Dam Next Door 
a hy NINSS p Russian Mail-Order Matrimony 
& 


Report by Adam Parfrey 


HUSTLER 


LARRY FLYNT 
editor and publisher 


JIM KOHLS 
president 


DONNA HAHNER 
corporate vice-president 


SHARE IT With A FRIEND! 


SRSEBRED ET > Ue 
Ps 


ai 


ALLAN MacDONELL 
executive editor 


W. T. NELSON 
art director 


LISA JENIO, ELON SCHOENHOLZ 
associate editors 


MIKE McPADDEN 
entertainment editor 


SCOTT SCHALIN 
contributing editor 


JEANNE DIAMOND 
humor and cartoon editor 


AARON LEE 
research director 


S. L. FARBER, copy chief 
DYLAN FORD, copy editor 
COMPUTER GRAPHICS 
ANDREA LANDRUM, 
network systems manager 
BOBBIE KAMINSKI, MARIE B. QUIROS 
network systems operators 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
ELIZABETH BERRIOS, talent coordinator 


JAMES BAES, MATTI KLATT, 
CLUVE McLEAN, LADI VON JANSKY, 
photographers 
KENNETH DeMARTINES, production designer 
LAURA CODON, photo/talent assistant 
LORETTA SMITH, studio director 
JOHN BLAKELY, studio coordinator 


PRODUCTION 
KRISTINA ETCHISON, production manager 
JOHN A. MOZZER, MICHELLE JEWORSK! 
production coordinators 


ADVERTISING 
ALLEN MAINE, national advertising director, 
(213) 951-7907 
MAGGIE CHUN, advertising production director 
GINA J. LEE, advertising production coordinator 


SUBSCRIPTIONS 
TRISH HAMM, subscriptions director 


subscriptions customer service (800) 220-0314 


RETAIL ACCOUNT INQUIRIES 
Contact: Ron Nocc 
(800) 999-1170 Ext.447 
THOMAS CANDY, executive vice-president 
GREGORY DUMAS, vice-president, marketing 
PERRY GRAYSON, vice-president, advertising 
DAVID WOLINSKY, vice-president, finance 


Subscriber copies mailed in unmarked, sealed envelopes. 


\ JF AA] Send special six-issue HUSTLER subscriptions 
} ji & | as indicated below. Each subscription is only 


gy $19.95, a savings of 44% off the cover price. 


a 
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a aS 


My subscription: Gift: 


HUSTLER (ISSN-0149-4635), Vol. 22, No. 8, January 1996. The U.S. edition of 
HUSTLER is published monthly with one exception, twice a month in August, by 
L.F.P., Inc, at 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211 

Copyright ® 1995 LF-P., Inc. All rights reserved, Nothing may be reproduced in 
whole or in part without written permission of the publisher. Return postage 
must accompany all manuscripts, photos, drawings, etc., if they are to be 
returned, and no responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited material, Letters 
sent to HUSTLER will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication and 
copyright purposes and as subject to HUSTLER’s right to edit and comment edi- 
torially. Any similarity between persons and places depicted in the fiction sec- 
tions of this magazine and actual persons or places is purely coincidental. All 
photos posed by professional models except as otherwise noted. Neither said 
photos nor words used to describe them are meant to depict models’ actual 


Name Name 


Address Address conduct, statements or personalities. Information concerning models who 
appear in this publication is located at 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Beverly Hills, 
City/State/Zip City/State/Zip California 90211, under the supervision of John A. Mozzer. 


SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION: For subscription customer service, call (800) 
220-0314. U.S. subscriptions: $39.95 for one year (12 issues). Foreign subscrip- 
tions: Add $10.00 U.S. funds per year. Single copy, U.S. Edition: $5.99; 
International Edition: $6.99 (add $1 postage per copy); Special Edition: $6.99. 


[| Payment Enclosed Charge My MISA IMC 


Credit Card # Exp. These prices represent HUSTLER’s standard subscription rate and should not 
be confused with special subscription offers sometimes advertised. Change of 
Signature address: Allow six weeks’ advance notice and send in both your old and new 
address, POSTMASTER: Send change of address to: HUSTLER, P.0. Box 474, 


Mt Morris, IL 61054. Second-class postage paid at Beverly Hills, CA, and at 
additional mailing offices. Printed in the USA. HUSTLER is registered in the U.S. 
Patent and Trademark Office. 

All nude models are 18 years of age or older. 
Cover photo by Matti Klatt 


MONEY BACK ON UNUSED PORTIONS OF SUBSCRIPTIONS IF NOT SATISFIED! Foreign add $10 per year. You must be 18 years of age or older 
to order. Basic subscription rate: $39.95. Your first issue will arrive in 6 to 8 weeks. Where applicable, sales tax is included in stated price. 
Offer expires April 21, 1996 A16006 


HUSTLER, P.O. Box 474, Mt. Morris, IL 61054 


Vo 


ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH 


Some people are shit flumes in real 
life, and other people play shit 
flumes on TV. 

Cathode blowhard Tom Selleck 
has preened and minced through a 
long television and film career. 
Selleck’s onscreen work is distin- 
guished primarily by the fact that he 
displays zero acting ability. But 
when Tom Selleck stands up and 
mouths off in the role of shit flume 
at a Washington, D.C., fund-raising 
dinner, at a Republican convention, 
in a TV Guide interview, all the 
world knows that it is seeing the 
performance of a true shit flume. 

Selleck’s authentic, undiluted, 
heartfelt and uninterrupted output 
of elitist, double-standardized, 
womanly shit is why he has been 
proclaimed HUSTLER’s Asshole of 
the Month for January 1996. 

Selleck reached his celebrity 
zenith in the 1980s. The aging, dim- 
pled beefcake created a sensation 
in gay bars across the nation as the 
star of the Magnum, P.l. series. Hair 
salons and glory holes buzzed with 
talk of the Magnum, P./. hunk, who 
was best appreciated for parading 
in short pants and Hawaiian shirts 
open almost to his navel. Selleck's 
character had a nebulous but inti- 
mate relationship with a much older 
man. Both of them wore neatly 
trimmed mustaches, similar to the 
facial hair sported by many police 
officers, but not quite so masculine. 

In 1991, supermarket tabloid the 
Globe went out on a limb and pub- 
lished a story intimating that Selleck 
was gay. Selleck threw a hissy fit, 
suing the Globe for $20 million. 
"Boy, was | mad,” seethes Selleck. 


Though he was soon mollified by 
an apology from the paper, the trau- 
ma from Tom Selleck’s brush with a 
presumptuous press seems to have 
lingered and perhaps has con- 
tributed to the tone of paranoia that 
leaks into the faded celebrity's 
media contacts. 

“| have a problem with the 
tabloids,” complains Selleck. “I feel 
the media should be forthright and 
honest,” he continues. “But the 
press has its own agenda, and too 
often it's to distort and mock peo- 
ple’s beliefs and activities. It’s the 
tabloidization of the mainstream, 
and we all suffer as a result of 
it....It's a real ethical decline.” 

Selleck’s professed concern for 
“ethical declines” often shows itself 


as an appetite for censorship. 

At a July 1995 conference on 
entertainment and family values 
chaired by Vice President Al Gore 
and attended by President Bill 
Clinton, sphincter Selleck puckered 
up and delivered his opinion that the 
TV and movie industry should wel- 
come a chance to act more respon- 
sibly. “We [in Hollywood] all too 
often,” puffed Tom, “circle the wag- 
ons and holler censorship.” 

Judging from comments he made 
in February 1994, Selleck reserves 
the right to rationalize away the 
chance to act more responsibly 
when it is applied to his own work: 
“Counting [each violent act] you 
miss the moral of the story....There 
was quite a bit of profanity, some 


violence and rather adult situations 
at times. These individual elements 
aren't as important as the overall 
effect the movie had.” 

Though insiders blame Selleck’s 
three-year drought without a movie 
role on the actor's meager appeal, 
Selleck has suggested that his con- 
servative views cost him continued 
success in show business. 

Arnold Schwarzenegger and 
Bruce Willis, two outspoken and 
highly public conservatives, have 
not shared Selleck’s difficulties. 

Still, Selleck insists: “Hollywood 
is so intolerant of other points of 
view. They feel if you disagree with 
them, you're evil. And if that costs 
me work, I'm proud of it.” 

Selleck’s recent TV movie was 
produced by liberal activist Jane 
Fonda. Fonda demonstrates a 
greater grasp of tolerance than does 
Selleck. Referring, in print, to enter- 
tainer Barbra Streisand’s speaking 
out for political causes, Selleck 
opines: “I like Barbra a lot, but she 
ought to shut up about that.” 

Acting as a spokesperson for the 
Character Counts Coalition, a con- 
sortium of 27 youth groups, Selleck 
(who has a permit to carry a charac- 
ter-building concealed weapon) 
takes every opportunity to pontifi- 
cate upon the need for “virtue” 
among America’s kids. 

When not blaming liberals for 
putting him on an “out” list, Selleck 
insists that he took his three idle 
years for the sake of his seven-year- 
old daughter. Using a kid as an 
excuse for his own failings is only 
one trait that qualifies Tom Selleck 
as a Magnum A-Hole. 


A far from 
successful screenwriter, Laura 
Hart McKinny gained wide recog- 
nition as the writer who brought 
the “nigger” spewing audio tapes 
of former Los Angeles Police 
detective Mark Fuhrman to the 
O. J. Simpson trial. McKinny’s duty 
to supply this evidence in the ser- 
vice of fair justice was a decision 
between she and her conscience. 


Her tortured soul-wringing on the 
witness stand, and her attempts 
to market a slim script on the 
publicity of a double murder, are 
the performances of a wide- 
spread Asshole. 

The man 
in charge of Russia’s so-called 
Liberal Democratic Party, Viadimir 
Zhirinovsky is best known as the 


Russki’s top ultranationalist. The 
Nazilike bastard recently assault- 
ed a female Russian lawmaker on 
the Parliament floor, employing 
the excuse: “Such women dream 
of being raped, but no one wants 
them. They like standing next to 
strong male bodies.” Zhirinovsky 
is the difference between a 
strong male body and a stinking 
male Asshole. 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


bits & pieces 


Not known for being a a, ¥€ remorse, the political H, 5 Some 


Japanese government has for decades 
avoided accepting responsibility for its im- 
perialistic warmongering before and during 
World War II. So the recent apology from 
Premier Tomiichi Murayama for Japanese 
acts of “colonial rule and aggression” sent 
shock waves throughout the international 


1) Having small dicks. 


| 


| 


Asian nations, 

as China and Korea, who suffered the 
brunt of the Japanese military force, are 
not satisfied with the scope of the apology, 
and neither are we in America. HUSTLER 
herewith offers Premier Murayama an 
opportunity to apologize for his country- 
men’s true atrocities. 


Py 2) Being bad drivers. 


Pa 
hunka-hunka 


burnin’ love 


$00, SOOO 


SOLLy! 


Aporogy 


AA AgQY 
JANUARY 


HUSTLER 


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bits & pieces 


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at 
“Now, don't for get—rotten garbage, warm, sour beer and 
vomit chunks.... 1 want this to be a very special evening!” 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


Squack 
in Black 


This is not an adver- 
tisement for Benedikt 
Taschen; the prolific 
publisher has simply 
released yet another 
erotic picture book wor- 
thy of mention. Uwe 
Ommer’s Black Ladies 
IT, a soft-core collection 
of melanin-perfection 
nudes shot by the 
accomplished photogra- 
pher, boasts some of 
the hottest bodies, 
sweetest faces and most 
protuberant asses to 
grace the pages of any 
photographic volume. 
An enjoyable mix of 
ebony and nudity from 
Taschen Publications, 
170 2nd Avenue #10D, 
New York, NY 10003. 


This Olympic pole vaulter shaved her bush to 
decrease wind resistance, and although she didn’t 
make it into the track-and-field record books, she 


did attain a lofty spot in HUSTLER’s Bits & Pieces. 

Thanks and $150 go to Rick Whaley for sharing this vintage baby- 
smooth, high-achiever beaver. Follow Rick’s smutty leap of faith 
and send in your elevating pornographic artifacts to HUSTLER’s 
Porn From the Past, 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly 
Hills, CA 90211. Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope if you 
want the material returned. 


NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. THE TUNABOMBER IS 
A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, AND ANY RESEMBLANCE TO AN ACTUAL PERSON IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL 


bits & pieces 


A spate of terrorist acts has 
left executives across the 
country crippled with tense 
anticipation. Authorities 
are warning corporate lead- 
ers to exercise extreme cau- 
tion while opening packages 


Despondent and no doubt 
horny after her late husband’s 
death, Anna Nicole Smith 
needs love. The fleshy 27- 
year-old celebrity figure 
requires someone to shower 
her with paternal affection the 
way once-89-year-old hubby 
and oil tycoon J. Howard 
Marshall II did. A few gener- 
ous—and mature—personali- 
ties with time and money on 
their hands should line up to 
console the grieving widow. 

Antiquated benefactors Bob 
Dole, Bob Hope, Walter 
Matthau, George Burns, Jack 
Lemmon and Milton Berle 
should pull together, like lit- 
tle, old train engines that can, 
and get a piece of Widow 
Anna. 

The Anna Nicole Smith 
Gang-Bang. Watch for it in 
history books. 


PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. CELEBRITY HEADS PASTED ONTO OUR MODELS’ BODIES. 


unknown sources. 
More than one high-level 
systems analyst has been 
enveloped in a cluster of 
soaking pussies, cleverly 
concealed in a flip-top can 
innocuously labeled TUNA. 


from 


[ROSE BRINGS NOME THE BACON 


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CONGRATULATIONS! IT’S A PIG! 


[RR JROtunNG | sone ROSIE 0 DONNELL wo HER ADOPTED SON, CHUBBY 


Coming Soon on New Swine Ham Video 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


bits & pieces 


Boosting Neilsens and Johnsons 


Trying desperately to hide the flopsweat caused by descending ratings and a humiliating loss to arch-rival 
Jay Leno at the Emmys, Alfred E. Neuman’s nutty look-alike David Letterman needs radical changes to 
salvage his CBS show. America’s Magazine offers a few practical suggestions to aid the troubled host. 
Give the late-night crowd what they really want, Dave: entertainment staples sex and violence. 
They work for us. 


Letterman 4 


TO KICK LENO’S ASS. 


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NGO [Nf-§§ | =e ee 


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3) Shoot Paul Shaffer. 4) Stupid bitch tricks. 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


oo 


PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. CELEBRITY HEADS PASTED ONTO OUR MODELS' BODIES 


PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. WHO WOULD MAKE A MOVIE WITHOUT PUSSY? 


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| FUCK LIKE | FIGHT. ‘ 


: cine 
Ten things you could not have completed during the 
89 seconds Peter McNeeley took to be humiliated by 
Mike Tyson: 
1. Take a piss 
2. Get to the fridge for a beer 
3. Cook and serve a helping of 
Minute Rice 
4. Pinch a loaf 
5. Have a decent orgasm 
6. Beat up a Girl Scout 
7. Eat a bowl of Lucky Charms 
8 
9 
1 


. Murder Nicole Brown Simpson 
. Go to confession 
0. Convict O. J. Simpson 


IMIo White Trash 


Check out the new comedy album by 
Jeff Cockswarthy, featuring every 
inbred invert’s favorite hits: 


1 
2 


Sw CO wR e wh 


Hicks Who Love picks 


Come Out From YoUr DowN-Home 


Cloget 


Hayseed Swallows GaySeed 


BarnY@rd Butt Banging 


Younger Brotherly Love 


Homo of the Range 
Corntholed in the Corn 


Ned and ged Get Wed 


Field 


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”.~y°Ur roommate's dick tastes like sh©€P shit,” 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. PREMATURE LOSER'S HEAD PASTED ONTO OUR MODEL’S BODY 


HUSTLER “. 


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In Praise of Assholes 
I have been a reader of your fine maga- 
zine for a number of years. One of my 
favorite sections is “Asshole of the 
Month.” Whoever puts this together 
really knows how to do it. I find every 
one of them to be excellent. I have 
been wondering for some time if you 
have ever considered doing a complete 
printout of all the articles that have 
been done. I certainly would like to 
have an issue, and I believe it would 
please many readers. I don’t know how 
you would title it, if sold in news- 
stands. Maybe it could be an insert for 
a regular issue. —G. E. M. 
Graham, North Carolina 


Thank you, G. E. M. “Asshole” is a 
monthly public-service announcement 
from HUSTLER. We are glad the public 
is listening. Keep the Feedback coming. 


Family Ties 

Over the past few years, one of my 
aunts, three cousins and two of my sis- 
ters have appeared in the Beaver Hunt 
section of HUSTLER. I can truthfully 
say that each of them has looked as 
beautiful as when I see them in person. 
Sounds goofy, but my mother’s family 
has a two-week nude reunion every sum- 
mer. Her brother lives on the farm in 
Minnesota where she was raised. There 
were six kids in their family, three girls 
and three boys, and all married and had 
families of their own. I have a brother 
and two sisters, married with families 
too. My family includes my wife, two 
sons and three daughters. The total num- 
ber at our family reunion was 68 people 
this year. It was 38 females and 30 
males. Of the males, four were castrated 
and 14 kept their pubic area shaved 
clean. Of the ladies, 20 had their pussies 
shaved clean, and the other 18 had some 
bikini trim on their pussies. I mention 
this because it seems there is a trend 
toward the ladies keeping themselves 
shaved clean. In your last two magazines 
there have appeared 28 ladies in Beaver 
Hunt. They were evenly divided 
between clean shaven and partially or 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


not-at-all shaved. Is the thing of the 
future for ladies to shave? In my imme- 
diate family, all four of the ladies shave. 

I love the Bits & Pieces section in 
each issue. Are the beautiful ladies staff, 
models or who? I think they look more 
natural than the posed models. The 
beautiful ladies in Beaver Hunt are also 
more like what you find a lady is like 
when you are on the make. Any time I 
want to get turned on around home, I 
just look at the Bits and Pieces section 


= 


Taylor: Flash Dancer 


or the Beaver Hunt. If you guys have 
never had a nude family reunion—drool. 
You are missing the joys of a lifetime. 
Believe me, everything you can imagine 
really happens; all your dreams and fan- 


—K. G. 
Goleta, California 


tasies come true. 


It sounds as though you have a particu- 
larly close family, K. G. Just make sure 
not to break any laws, and you can go on 
enjoying those wonderful reunions. Does 
Grandma strip too? 


Taylor Laid 
I’m a big fan of your magazine and have 
been for a long time. I’m writing about 
the October 1995 centerfold layout of 
Taylor (Taylor: Flash Dancer, October 
*95). She is the most beautiful and tal- 
ented model I have ever seen. Could you 
please forward this letter to her? I would 
like to wish her much success on her 
career. I was wondering if she appears in 
any videos? Also, could you have Taylor 
send me her autographed picture? Thank 
you very much. —S. H. 
Brooklyn, New York 


Taylor definitely has something about her. 
She does appear on video, and also in the 
January '96 issue of HUSTLER Erotic 
VIDEO GUIDE. HEVG contains video-com- 
pany listings, through which you can send 
mail to Taylor and other favorite XXX 
starlets, and possibly receive an auto- 
graphed photo in return. Good luck. 
(continued on page 17) 


13 


WAL AA 2 
FF OUR R2IMICALIN 


WAY 3 


Former LAPD detective Mark 
Fuhrman’s life will be a living Hell from 
now on. And when he dies, a Nubian 
inferno awaits. Fathom Fuhrman’s 
eternal torments...if you dare. 


Wy The only magazines are Ebony and Jet. 

\Y A ghetto blaster plays nonstop loud rap music. 

Y Convicted cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal is 
his cellmate. 

Aunt Jemima is his waitress. 

\) The only items on the menu are fried chicken 
and watermelon. . 

y The only cocktails are gin and grape soda. 

\) Every day is Hanukkah. 

\ Urkel is always on the TV. 

\) The hookers won’t give him free blowjobs 
when he shakes them down. 


\Y Spike Lee wants to make a movie of his life. 


y His welfare check is incessantly late. 


\) The only way out is to suck LAPD Police Chief 
Willie Williams’s dick. 


\) He can’t take a decent shit. 


VSS SE 


\\ 


\\ 


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(continued from page 13) 


Correctional Literature 
I'm a black male serving 17 to life in a 
California state prison. I’ve been incar- 
cerated for 12 years. For almost 11 years 
I’ve been attracted to men. In the past 
year or so, after having a prayer 
answered, I no longer have the desire for 
men. A friend gave me your September 
*91 magazine. As I looked through it, I 
couldn’t believe how turned on I became. 
I got to Beaver Hunt, and there she stood, 
Pebbles, in front of the U.S. flag. Pebbles 
sure knew how to make the old red, 
white and blue shine bright. She also 
makes me shine every night before I go 
to sleep, and every morning when I wake 
up. I thank God for my sight; I thank 
Pebbles for brightening my life. Thank 
you, HUSTLER, for such lovely pictures 
of so many beautiful girls. —R.R. 
California Men’s Colony West 
San Luis Obispo, California 


HUSTLER does make a difference. 
Spiritual inspiration delivered to your 
door, or at newsstands everywhere. 


HUSTLER saves! 


Future Cock 
I’ve been contemplating purchasing a 
computer because in the near future | 
think that they will become a necessity 
just like HUSTLER is to me now, but I 
have a question to ask first: Are adult CD- 
ROM interactive games compatible with 
all brand-name computers? My deciding 
factor regarding purchasing a computer 
would be if HUSTLER could provide a 
“Stroker’s Guide” to the adult CD-ROM 
interactive games. Thank you. —C.R. 
Watsonville, California 


Computers are definitely getting more 
important in our lives, but equating them 
with a necessity such as HUSTLER is 
going too far. HUSTLER is now avail- 
able online (http://hustler.onprod.com); 
so computers do have a clear role: as a 
means to HUSTLER. For reviews of the 
hottest in adult CD-ROM and interactive 
games, get hold of HARD DRIVE Magazine 
at a newsstand, or call 800-714-0499 for 
a subscription. 


Angel at My Toilet 

I’m an inmate at the Correctional Indus- 
trial Complex in Pendleton, Indiana. I’m 
22 years old. I’ve been down for three 
years and still have double that to do. I’ve 
been using your book the whole time I’ve 
been down. But the HUSTLER issue from 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


February 1993 had a model named Angel- 
ica Bella (Angelica Bella: Free Floater, 
February *93). I said to myself, I'll stop at 
nothing just to get her to correspond with 
me. I’m writing this letter to ask for An- 
gelica’s fan-club address, a signed auto- 
graph and, if possible, her home address or 
phone. You never let me down before; so 
don’t let me down now. —M. F. 

Pendleton, Indiana 


Don’t look at it as being let down, M. F., 
but policy forbids giving out home 
addresses and phone numbers of models. 
While you are surely an upstanding indi- 
vidual, there are people who simply don't 
know how to behave themselves, and they 
ruin it for everyone else. On the other 
hand, M. F., the November '95 issue of 
CHIC Magazine featured heavenly Angel- 
ica on the cover and the centerfold, and 
she is still a sight for sore loins. Call 800- 
328-6704 to order back issues of CHIC, 
or mail order through our Subscriptions 
Department. You won't be sorry. 


Not Just a Job 

A while back you offered your readers a 
once in a lifetime opportunity to be in a 
porn film. I was wondering if you would 
be repeating that offer any time in the 
near future. I would give my left (or 


right) nut to be able to perform in a porn 
video. I feel I have the right qualifica- 
tions: I love sex; I can fuck for hours; I 
can blow a huge load. So, as you can see, 
I’m the right man (stud) for the job. My 
motto is, “Have dick—will travel.” Well, 
I close with the hopes that you'll print 
this letter with a reply. Stay hard. —C. G. 

New Paltz, New York 


Lofty ambitions, C. G., but HUSTLER is 
not an employment agency. Try contact- 
ing HUSTLER Erotic ViDEO GUIDE. 


Darker Our Love 
I am a big fan of HUSTLER and enjoy 
the boy/girl sets more than anything. My 
complaint is that HUSTLER hardly ever 
has any black men featured in the 
boy/girl sets, and never any all-black 
sets. Why don’t you try mixing it up and 
pleasing your black readers as well as 
your white? Black really is beautiful, and 
we take good pictures too. —R. B. 
Kentucky State Reformatory 
La Grange, Kentucky 


A valid point, R. B. America’s Magazine 
takes its readers’ opinions seriously. 
Look for coming issues to include sets 
with darker, but no less lovely, models. 
(continued on page 29) 


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& John Lesli 


A breakdown of current-day adult video’s premier porno- 
graphers: John Stagliano puts the viewer right fucking there in 
his unbeatable Buttman series; pervert Patrick Collins electri- 
fyingly tempts the taboo via Sodomania; Gregory Dark’s art- 
mutant nookie wonderlands provide scintillating, surreal slap 
material; and Max Hardcore is the misogynistic meat puller’s 
angry-genius best friend. Then there’s John Leslie—who may 
have them all beat. Leslie has crafted high-profile, one-of-a- 
kind oddities such as Chameleons and Fresh Meat for some 
time, and fairly recently kicked off the scaled-down saga of 
The Voyeur. The Voyeur #5 is the most ball-blistering entry in 


a iif 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


e’s The Voyeur #5 


FULLY ERECT. Directed by John Leslie; starring Nici Sterling, Kimberly Kyle, Natalie Tizara, Gina Delaney, Tabitha, Madelyn Knight, Missy, Caressa Savage, Cell-e, 
Sid Deuce, Steven St. Croix, Mr. Marcus, Peter North, Gerry Pike, T. T. Boy, Bobby Vitale, Warren Scott, Nick Knight and Trent Rowlan. Videocassette: Evil Angel 


THE VOYEUR: Nici Sterling grabs the mic of St. €roix; do-ragged dong does backups. 


the peep-themed line yet, showcasing ten uniformly mouth- 
watering fuck crumpets in every conceivable carnal situation. 
Tabitha takes a marathon pounding poolside; Missy, Madelyn 
Knight and Caressa Savage split a chest of sex toys and spread 
their legs to use them; Natalie Tizara preps Kimberly Kyle for 
a Peter North cream bath; smashingly sexy Brit snizz Nici 
Sterling crams two wands into her smacker at once; Gina 
Delaney buries black bone; and dazzling, naturally large- 
sacked Sid Deuce snacks scrumptious Cell-e’s slime swatch 
while taking dick in her dingle. All told, The Voyeur #5 offers 
a two-word display: Fully Erect. —Mike McPadden 


THE VOYEUR: Knight and Savage make hay on Missy 


'fl White Wedding 


THREE-QUARTERS ERECT. Directed by Paul Thomas; starring Chasey Lain, Jill Kelly, 
Roxanne Hall, Lana Sands, Heather Lee, Dalny Marga, 
Steve Drake, Marc Wallice and Nick East. Videocassette: Vivid. 


Chasey Lain, the lofty lobed brunette with.the classic schoolgirl pout and 
over-sized eyes lidded with the languor of lust, is now a Vivid girl. White 
Wedding marks the marriage of fantasy’s most flawless fodder and the 
porn industry’s most polished purveyors. The obvious question arises: 
Does the union of Chasey and Vivid mean that she will not be doing men 
on film anymore, as is the wont of certain much harped-upon Vivid snatch 
queens? Mare Wallice pounds that concern to rest within Wedding's open- 
ing minutes, eating Lain’s ass and donning a prophylactic to slice into her 
crumpet-perfect cunt, splattering his spurts right onto her haughty slut 
face. Chasey portrays a bride who flashes back to her wedding and for- 
ward again, in the process strapping on a dong to plug a sweet-ass blonde, 
then taking Nick East’s condom-encased rod in the hole and his latex-free 
choad to the teeth. The backup fucks, particularly two nude dusky trollops 
climbing a staircase and Steve Drake, are strong also, which should give 
White Wedding a solid reception. —Christian Shapiro 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Bruno Aldente; starring Whitney Wonders, Holly Body, 
Brandon Iron, Jordan Hart, Natalie Tizara, 
Brittany Andrews and Kyle Stone. Videocassette: Avica. 


Boobs, boobs, boobs and cheap-jack camera work: It must be 
Mellon Man! For this ninth edition of Bruno Aldente’s low-tech, 
high-silicone, zero-inspiration series, the overinflated objects of the 
titular tit-hound’s affection are, for once, attached to a handful of 
appealing performers—and what a handful! Whitney Wonders is 
pretty in plastic: It’s real fun to watch her not-too-awful augmenta- 
tions flop and fly mid-fuck, and squinting viewers can pretend 
they're real; happy-sexy Holly Body’s cancer bags are hard and 
look like they hurt, placing a pleasantly sadistic spin on pud- 
pounding to her enthusiastic, tape-opening poke. Meaty Mexican 
Natalie Tizara tackles the titanic, deliciously sloppy, surgically 
undefiled dairy pouches of Brandon Iron, and then more Formica 
mammaries take boy-milk coating from anonymous beef tuggers. 
Mellon Man 9 is nourishing enough. —Selwyn Harris 


MELLON MAN: Holly Body wraps a wiener in plastic. 


Sodomania: Cunt Lickin’, 
Cum Drinkin’ Bitches 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Patrick Collins; starring Channone, Stefania Sartori, Mary, Shelby Stevens, Gaya, 
Penelope, Eva, Elisabeth King, Bernadette, Mike Foster, John Stagliano, 
Phillipe Dean, Francesco Trulli, Attila and Roscoe Bowltree. Videocassette: Elegant Angel. 

The box cover for Sodomania: Cunt Lickin’, Cum Drinkin’ Bitches promises “nasty Swedish 
girls, French whores, Hungarian harlots, and an American slut too!” The tape certainly delivers 
on its claim but, at this point, big deal—especially when the would-be-yank-inspiring Yank in 
question is hard-weathered fluid-catcher Shelby Stevens. Foreigners fuck in various clusters in 
this nonnumbered Sodomania; Roscoe Bowltree-as-Fazano bangs several choice cunt folds 
culled from the Cannes Film Festival, one in tandem with John Stagliano as Buttman; pretty girls 
sit on each other’s fingers; and uncircumcised schlongs slide in and out of sphincters. Everything 
is in order, which is precisely the problem: Sodomania: Cunt Lickin, Cum Drinkin’ Bitches 
comes across as a lackluster toss off, its crasser-than-usual title likely intended to take the place 
of genuine heat. Sodomania, until this half-bungle, has been smut video’s most searingly consis- 
tent series. Those in charge should be ever wary of a chilling effect. —S. H. 


SODOMANIA: Shelby Stevens submits to Parisian proctology. je Stuaml 


22 JANUARY HUSTLER 


HOE INY 


re through the adult- 


=. ad ] Naas Fe ms, ae 


Suicide and immunodeficiency crises to 


entertainment community in 1995, 12 months that proved to be a 
real fucker. What follows is a brief overview of a long, painful year. 


When sad, beautiful Shannon Wilsey, a/k/a Savannah, blew a bullet through her 
brain last year, she may have launched an unfortunate trend: Porn stars have been 
killing themselves ever since. Tongue-tied muscle stud Cal Jammer went via handgun 
blast; blond butt babe Alex Jordan took a long walk off a short chair with a noose 
around her neck; and brilliantly berserk, self-proclaimed “superspook” Jack Baker fell 
prey to complications related to drug abuse. 


Bad news from abroad: First, Gallic nookie dish Barbara Doll tested positive for the 


AIDS virus. Then she didn't—supposedly. No matter: The once prolific French piece 
has since vanished. 
New, persistent rumors contend that a supporting-level British sex savory is now 
tainted with the dreaded infection. Is it time to close our borders to foreign gash with 
open legs? 


Max Steiner—better known, and more feared, as Max Hardcore—split ugly from 
his parent company, Zane Entertainment. Legal wrangling followed, in which both par- 
ties sought to retain ownership of the notorious, black-hatted Max Hardcore character, 
and the unique, viciously erotic Cherry Poppers and Anal Adventures of Max Hardcore 

series in which Hardcore appears. As of press time, a judge ruled that Steiner could 
hold on to his creation. This was not Zane magnate Chuck Zane's only woe: He report- 
edly engaged in very public fisticuffs with frightening XXX vet Buck Adams at last 
January's CES Show in Las Vegas. 


‘fl Attitude 


THREE-QUARTERS ERECT. Directed by Jon Dough; starring Juli Ashton, Nikole Lace, Rebecca Lord, 
Brooke Waters, Kim Kataine, Misty Rain, Jen Teal, Bionca, Vanessa Chase, Emerald Estrada, Steven St. Croix, 
Joey Silvera, Jon Dough, T. T. Boy, Alex Sanders and Jonathan Morgan. Videocassette: VCA. 


When men and women meet in bars, sex is sure to follow—especially if the pub 
patrons are accompanied by the cameras of a pornographic-film crew. Steven St. 
Croix is acting weird, but a few licks and sticks from slender slut Rebecca Lord and a 
gal pal of comparable appeal, and St. Croix is straightened right out. Joey Silvera puts 
a cardboard box over Juli Ashton’s head, then comes to his senses and pud pumps the 
big-tit blonde until he can’t help but spurt on her pristine snatch. T. T. Boy spills on a 
chesty Mexican hole’s dynamo face, but the camera slips right past it. Choppy, quick- 
cut editing of the following slut-slut girl fuck causes a vertiginous swoon in the 
viewer, which can be hazardous to stroking. A dangerous, swirly visual condition 
affects a good portion of the remaining scenes, but there’s still three to come, so don’t 
worry about it. At flick’s end, director/leading gland Jon Dough morphs into a 
rottweiler and ambles into the night, but Attitude is no dog. 


—C.S. 
ATTITUDE: Tawny trollop makes her adjustments. 


Forever 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Buck Adams; starring Kelly Jaye, Nikole Lace, Jessica James, 
Sid Deuce, Caressa Savage, T. T. Boy, Tony Tedeschi and Gerry Pike. Videocassette: Sin City. 

Director Buck Adams goes slightly against his sperm-spewing, action- 
hero character in Forever, appearing as a guy who sits on a couch reading 
a book. Believe it or not, the book contains fuck scenes, and a cast of porn 
pros acts out those salient segments in real-time video. T. T. Boy emotes 
momentarily with a willing blonde, then peels out of his jacket as she 
sucks his snake from his trousers. The camera moves in on the limber- 
limbed blond snatch, then Boy’s bone moves into the lithe-legged cooze. 
The cum is on the buns. Toni Tedeschi shoots a quick splat to the anus of a 
bent-forward redhead. A dark little lewd lady goes goo-goo face for Gerry 
Pike’s prod, which ultimately spritzes goo goo on the murk and musk of 
her butt crack and open clam. A pair of chicks engage in contorted, 
cranked-neck cunt chomping. A pixie pair of pussies pump and preen upon 
Tedeschi’s pipe. Forever is all right as a fleeting fling. —C.S. 


HUSTLER JANUARY 23 


é First Time Ever 


THREE-QUARTERS ERECT. Directed by Jim Holliday; starring Kylie Ireland, Nina Hartley, 
Angela Summers, Felecia, Tiffany Mynx, Bionca, Debi Diamond, 
Caressa Savage, Summer Knight, Rachel Love, Crystal Wilder, Shelby Stevens, 
Keisha, Melanie Moore and Jim Holliday. Videocassette: Plush. 

The gimmick of the more-or-less slapdash all-girl feature First Time Ever 
is that the 14 hardy porn starlets coupled into the tape’s seven sapphic 
scenarios have always “wanted” to work together. Sure. It works fine in 
some cases (colorful flesh avalanche Keisha descending on white-skinned, 
whippet-thin, pinkie-nippled Melanie Moore, for example), but no premise 
could rescue a few of the others (does the prospect of Nina Hartley mixing 
muff strands with Kylie Ireland wither your willie or what?). Between the 
overall whackable bogusness, porn big mouth and First Time Ever helms- 
man Jim Holliday shows up in bad wraparound sunglasses and a worse 
white tuxedo, a bloviating, pompous professional masturbator with delu- 
sions of having an actual life. Viewers can fuck their fists to First Time 
Ever, then favorably compare themselves against the host. Kudos to Jim 
Holliday for, once again, giving the people what they want. —S. H. 


FIRST TIME EVER: Stevens introduces herself to Felecia 


~ Le Femme Vanessa 


ONE-QUARTER ERECT. Directed by Jace Rocker; starring Vanessa Chase, Jordan Lee, Roxanne Hall, Patricia Kennedy, 
Barbara Doll, Tom Byron, Tony Tedeschi, Peter North and Rick Masters. Videocassette: Sin City. 

A pot of coffee goes skank after sitting on the burner for 20 North, the only reason to watch this farcical porn parody of 
minutes, and a hackneyed porn tape doesn’t get any fresher by Cold War espionage movies is the ass-fucking of Vanessa 
languishing on the shelf for half a year before it’s released to Chase. Subsequent to this exercise in obscurity, Chase has been 
the viewing public. The presence of big, blond French twist hailed as one of the leading lights of the XXX labe parade, and 
Barbara Doll indicates that Le Femme was shot prior to le her luminous ass takes the tongue of Tom Byron as readily as it 
Doll’s hurried scurry from the U.S. in the wake of an HIV takes his prong. Too bad Tom’s decked out in military-police 
scandal. Aside from a few splotchy facial cum-shots, one a drag and doing slapstick schtick while he should be slapping in 
dual-load launch, another from the prodigious spigot of Peter his thick prick. —C.S. 


Inside 
P. J. Sparxxx 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Wesley Emerson; starring P. J. Sparxxx, 
Sunny McKay, Randy West, T. T. Boy, Peter North, Marc Wallice, 
Melanie Moore, Debi Diamond, Nicole London, 

Tiffany Mynx, Chrissa and Jeanna Fine. Videocassette: VCA 


“I had a wonderful childhood,” confesses picture-pretty P. J. 
Sparxxx. Looking like a California cheerleader girl, she sits in 
a video studio, taping filler to go between the fuck scenes in 
her VCA tribute package. P. J. is all grown up now, still sili- 
cone free, and she’s been royally reamed in the meantime, 
with much of that fucked-in process preserved on this cas- 
sette: Sparxxx heaves a hearty hump at a pair of dudes upon a 
butcher-block table; she shimmies and slurps with skinny 
Sunny McKay on a strip-club stage; she gulps and groans for 
Peter North’s cock; she scissor grinds the gonads of Melanie 
Moore, straight fucks T. T. Boy on a beach blanket, is pawed 
and stuffed by Randy West and indulges in anal beads, plastic 
prongs, and toes-to-clits in a Jeanna Fine-led dyke pile. 
Sparxxx claims to have orgasms while she’s performing; 
whether that’s true or not doesn’t matter as long as the audi- 
ence is having orgasms while she’s performing. —C. 


S: 


DEEP INSIDE: Fine and Diamond lead scrum on Sparxxx. 


24 JANUARY HUSTLER 


| THE ULTIMATE ~ COLLECTORS EDITION 


SAVANNA 
SHE DOES EIG. r 
GUYS AT ONE 

TIME! 


Most gang-bang tapes feature hard-faced, 
satchel-assed biker mamas enduring unbear- 
ably long and boring cock whippings from 
hairy, potbellied, dink-penised mooks 

Fantastic Pictures’ Starbangers line offers 
a stellar exception. 

Featuring only luminous, top-of-the-line 
female talent opening their holes for no less 
than a dozen poles in each cassette’s three 
poke piles, the Starbangers series showcases 
women who should know better doing exactly 
what every horndog wishes they would. 

Starbangers Volume 1 was the last major 
project for the late ice beauty Savannah; 


Volume 2 stars ebony fuck princess 
Dominique Simone; and Volume 3 displays 
elegant British crumpet Sarah-Jane 
Hamilton being savagely dicked by 12 horny 
woodsmen. 

Subsequent editions put wide body Tracey 
Adams, mega-boobed blonde Samantha 
Strong and muscle hump Tiffany Million on 
the block for multiple boffings 

Starbangers Volume 7, just recently 
released, finds cute Kaitlyn Ashley's bub- 
blegum snatch the object of much chewing 
and popping 

Have a bang at the whole bunch 


Samantha Strong 


Simply Blue 
HALF ERECT. Directed by Layne Parker; starring Ashlyn Gere, 
Anna Malle, Roxanne Hall, Felecia, Dallas, Hank Armstrong, 
Bobby Vitale, Marc Wallice, Alex Sanders and Tom Byron 
Videocassette: Wave Video 


Any time a smut flick starring Ashlyn Gere gets a 
rating lower than Three-Quarters Erect, the informed 
reader can assume that the disappointment was not 
her fault. While it is true that many people have sex 
in the dark, both by preference and incidentally, low- 
light couplings are rarely effective in XXX cinema, 
and the low-lumination lay at the middle of Simply 
Blue, wherein a dude and doxie screw under black 
light with haphazard Day-Glo stripes painted across 
their torsos, is no exception. Also unexceptional are 
the by-now rote sapphic calisthenics of Ms. Wonder 
Nipples of 1993 Felecia, and the alleyway boffing of 
a marginal muff by Tom Byron. Still, Gere does 
have a pair of balls parked in her face while another 
dick plows her slither lips, and drenching quantities 
of splooge do fly all over her. For the most part, 
however, Simply Blue simply blows. -C.S. 


SIMPLY BLUE: Gere girds herself for a grind. 


HUSTLER JANUARY 25 


4 Keyhole 


THREE-QUARTERS ERECT. Directed by Phil M. Noir; starring Chellé, Tera Heart, 
Sally Layd, Dallas, Amanda, Tony Tedeschi, Trent Roela, Alex Sanders, 
Steve Hatcher and Austin McCloud. Videocassette: Odyssey Group Video. 
Keyhole is the inventively shot, well-structured story of a sneaky peak fj 
freak in a seedy hotel, which features attractive gash, inspiring sex and 
directorial style above and beyond that which a wank video of this cal- 
iber normally delivers. Naturally, the director had to give himself the 
stupid pseudonym Phil M. Noir just to remind tantalized onlookers that 
this is still porn—albeit well-done, rock-solid porn. Trent Roela is the 
damaged-goods innkeeper who prowls about and witnesses Tera Heart 
accepting Alex Sanders’s salami up her ass; dominatrix Dallas dishing 
out harsh treatment to Steve Hatcher; sleazeball Tony Tedeschi and a 
long-haired long dick double stuffing Sally Layd; and Amanda violat- 
ing her own openings with a succession of candles. After the waxing, 
Amanda eats jiggle-jugged Chellé on the hotel’s front desk, and kind- | 
hearted Chellé closes the proceedings by treating Trent to his first taste 
of pussy. Look into Keyhole—hard. —S. H. 


KEYHOLE: Gleet de Chellé, all on a fuckhead’s face. 


Stroker’s Guide 


A quick checklist of X-rated features reviewed in past issues 
of HUSTLER and HUSTLER EROTIC VIDEO GUIDE. 


Th By rt One- rt 
Pusy Erect ree aa tere Half Erect neater 
Superior, A top production. Above average. Hard-on material, Standard fare. Has moments. Poor. Don’t expect much. 
Compulsive Behavior Anal Cum Queens (Zane) Crazy Love (Vivid) Anal Maniacs 
(Odyssey Group) Monique, Paisley, Max Hardcore Asia Carrera, April, | (Wicked Pictures) 
Tiffany Mynx, rule Ashlyn Rising (Vivid) Jonathan Morgan Autumn desiree 
: : Ashlyn Gere, Anna Malle, | Double Cross = 
Costa Rica Studies Sean Michaels | (Midnight Film) Peepshow 
(Private Video) i Deidre Holland, Shana, | (Odyssey Group Video) 
Sally Layd, Brittany O'Connell, Roked aoe ‘eee oh. Joey Silvera Kylie Ireland, Debi Diamond, 
Tim Lake Dave Hardman | Vice Billy Rocket 
Gregory Dark’s DMJ5: i (Wave Video) Starlet (Sin City) 
The Inferno (VCA) sha dagccesaut shea Sindee Cox, Tera Heart, Kaitlyn Ashley, Melanie Moore, 
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Seer Randy West Presents Video Virgins 16 Totally Limp 
ve Hookers 4 (VCA) Up and Cummers 17 (New Sensations) A waste of time and money. 
Tammi Ann, Chasey Lain, Erotica West Shonnalynn, Persia, 7 
Leslie Forbes (Erotica ) Dominique | John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut 
Nikole Lace, Jenna Jameson, (Leisure Time Video) 
Sodomania 11: In Your Face Randy West Jasmine Aloha, Letha Weapons, 


oat _ WR The Voyeur #4 (Evil Angel) John Wayne Bobbitt 

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FEEDBACK 


(continued from page 17) 


She-male Trouble 

I am a hairdresser who saw your April 
1994 issue’s spread with a great-looking 
transsexual named April (April: Fool 
Bloom, April 1994). She was a real 
beauty! The girls I work with thought she 
looked a lot better than many females 
born on this earth. My co-workers are a 
great bunch of girls, and all of them are 
helping me in the transformation that I’m 
going through. Yes, I was born a male, 
but I am getting a sex-change operation. 
I'll say it to HUSTLER straight—I'd 
rather get fucked and suck a dick than 
fuck and get sucked. I now have a good 
set of tits and love it when a man feels 
them. Someday, I will have my penis 
removed for a vagina, and then I will be a 
full-fledged female. All the girls I work 
with are with me. They are training me to 
be a great female and sharing their 
secrets on how to get a man hot. I told 
them that, being a male, I know what 


someday will be ready for those hot 
penises. Soon, after my final operation to 
remove my penis and balls, I will truly be 
happy. They say this is a man’s world, 
but I believe it’s a woman’s. If I was 
born 1,000 times, I would come back as a 
female every time. Let’s see more trans- 
sexuals in your magazine. —M. 

No Return Address 


An honest letter, M.? Yes. A straight let- 
ter? Not by a long shot. However, your 
enthusiasm for sucking dick is laudable— 
just remember that the next dick you suck 
will enjoy it much more if you keep a lid 
on the fact that you used to have a dick 
yourself. 


He Like Mike 

Here’s some feedback for you: Mr. Mike 
Tyson, known as Iron Mike, has really 
proven a point. He was a wealthy man at 
one time, but Robin Givens, the gold dig- 
ger, and his con-artist promoter, Don 
King, along with Desiree Washington, 
have tried to destroy Iron Mike. Mike 
Tyson said to hell with Robin Givens. He 
also mentioned that he didn’t trust Don 
King, and poor Desiree Washington 
couldn’t stand the fucking he put on her. 
He’s found a new love now, a doctor, 
which has fixed his love life. I believe he 
is truly happy. Mike Tyson has returned to 
the ring much stronger physically, men- 
tally, as well as emotionally. Mike Tyson 
was crazy, and his life was out of control. 
I believe that after all the hurt and the 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


prison sentence Mike served, he knows 
more about who he really is. Mike’s back 
to stay. He’s meaner and tougher than 
ever. He’s not going to take any shit. And 
believe me, he took out all his frustration 
on Peter McNeeley. Thanks for being my 
favorite porn magazine. —P.L. 

Reidsville, Georgia 


Here's some feedback for you, P. L. One: 
Iron Mike is a wealthy man again. Tyson 
may not trust Don King, but that didn’t 
keep him from hopping right into bed with 
the Artful (Tax) Dodger to reap millions 
for pounding tomato cans on pay-per- 
view. Two: Only two people in this world 


know what happened in that hotel room in 
Indy, P. L., and you aren't one of them. 
Three: As anyone who has done time will 
tell you, P. L., three and a half years in 
lockup will burden a man with more than 
89 seconds worth of frustration. Let's see 
Mike Tyson in a real fight before we hand 
him back his belt. 


Do you have a comment or complaint? We 
want to hear it. Send your letters (typed or 
neatly handwritten) to HUSTLER Feed- 
back, 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, 
Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Include a phone 
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WET NURSE 


The burn ward of the Intensive Care Unit 
is not the kind of place most guys expect 
to get lucky, Nut busting was certainly the 
last thing on my mind as the doctors ban- 
daged up my red, swollen arm. I felt 
ridiculous explaining that my wife had 
tossed a sizzling skillet of grits at my 
face, right before she tossed me out. 
That’s the price I pay for boning her 
tattle-tale kid sister in the butt. 

Robin, my nurse, was a leggy brunette, 
with creamy jugs that seemed to struggle 
for freedom from her white uniform. I 
sprang wood each time she leaned in close 
enough that I could whiff her musky per- 
fume. However, my enthusiasm wilted 
when each shake of Robin’s ass was 
accompanied by the prick of a six-inch nee- 
dle. By the time she led me behind a curtain 
for my second enema, I decided the good 
nurse’s special treatment had gone too far. 

“Is this shit really necessary?” I 
groaned, fighting her efforts to bend me 
over the gurney. “Can’t you see enough of 
my bare ass through the little green robe?” 
Robin’s only response was to loudly snap 
on a pair of rubber gloves. Her subsequent 
yank on my balls was as exciting as it was 
alarming. I gasped when she began to 
massage my hairy oysters. 

“Keep it down,” she growled. “You'll 
wake Mrs. Reucroft out of her coma.” I 
did my best to obey as Robin pulled my 
meat from behind and swallowed the 
blood-engorged head like a veiny ther- 
mometer. Her tongue tickled up my shaft, 
sending shock waves of pleasure that over- 
powered the painkillers. My wang leapt 
straight up into the air. When I turned 
around to parade the nine-inch salute 
across Robin’s wide, red mouth, my mas- 
sive hard-on knocked off her little white 
hat. She was too busy drooling to notice. 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


a 


Gentle kisses to the underbelly of my 
white whale followed. With a deep breath, 
Robin ingested the entire length; then just 
as quickly spit out my rod, leaving lipstick 
tracks all the way to the base. I returned the 
favor by smearing the Max Factor mess on 
her cheeks, like a kid with his dick in the 
finger paints, Robin appreciated my artistic 
attempts enough to lift her skirt and offer 
her splayed pussy as my next canvas. 

I laid her curvaceous, 5-11 frame on a 
nearby bed and plunged shvantz-first 
between Robin’s quivering thighs. Imme- 
diately, her eyes rolled back in her head, 
accompanied by the kind of shriek that 
comes from a hot piece of ass who hasn’t 
even diddled a candy-stripe girl in 
months. The violent arch of Robin’s back 
was like an orgasmic standing ovation. I 
plunged in and out of Robin’s canal with 
sweaty urgency, driving her squeals to a 
pitch that only dogs could hear. That’s 
when I recognized the rhythmic beeping 
of a heart-rate monitor. 

“Oh, my God,” I gasped, still ravaging 
Robin’s fish hole. “We’re screwing on 


top of Mrs. Reucroft!” The stethoscope- 

wielding slut was too fuck silly to con- 

cern herself with the Hippocratic oath. 
“Who cares?” howled Robin, grinding 


her ass furiously enough to mash my nuts. 
“If the bitch were conscious, she'd love it!” 
I wasn’t going to argue for a second opin- 
ion; after all, there did seem to be a smile 
on the old lady’s comatose lips. Truth be 
told, Mrs. Reucroft wasn’t bad for a veg- 
etable. She resembled Ann-Margret with 
bigger hoots, which bounced out from 
under the hospital sheets each time Robin 
bucked her butt. Soon I was paying more 
attention to Mrs. Reucroft’s mature, milky 
sacks and massive areolas than I was to 
Robin. Somehow I had to wake this sexy 
invalid; maybe Mrs. Reucroft would be so 
grateful, I could score her phone number. 

Using every ounce of strength in my 
bandaged arm, I scooped up Robin’s 
muscular legs, banging her ankles against 
the sides of Mrs. Reucroft’s head in the 
process. My manhood plunged to such 
briny depths, I feared the bends with each 
withdrawal. Robin, now nearly in a naked 
handstand, somehow met my every 
impalement with an equally forceful 
lunge of her loins, and animal grunting. 

“Harder, you dirty bastard,” Robin spit 
through clenched teeth. “Fuck me hard 
enough to raise the dead!” After a few 
more firm strokes, she was speaking in 
tongues. I jammed my own tongue into 
Robin’s mouth to quell the incoherent 
babbling, and was rewarded by the tear of 
her sharp teeth. Thank God the pulsing 
throb of her spasmodic vage distracted 
me from the intense pain of Robin’s bite. 

“So Florence Nightingale likes to play 
rough,” I said as fiercely as possible with 
my impaired speech. Before Robin could 
reply, I uncorked her hole and flipped the 
thermometer jockey onto her flat belly. My 
good hand pried open her rectum as I fum- 
bled to whip the sheets off Mrs. Reucroft. 
The change of life had been kind to this 
foxy lady; her voluptuous bod and peek of 
red pubes gave my member the extra stiff- 
ness necessary to penetrate Robin’s 
sphincters. The butt-plugged nurse forced 
herself up on all fours and eased back, 
stretching her bung to the breaking point. I 
slowly swung my hips, building up to the 
ramming speed that would force a flood of 
jism into Robin’s colon. 

The inevitable climax was delayed, 
however, when Robin burrowed her 
head between Mrs. Reucroft’s lifeless 
legs, and noisily slurped at the poor, 
unsuspecting woman’s snatch! Licking a 
comatose patient’s pussy was going too 
far, even by my standards. 

I barked, “Do you have any idea how 
much trouble you could get us into?” 
Even though I was red with moral indig- 

(continued on page 37) 


31 


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No less than ten squack videos qualified for HUSTLER’s coveted Fully Erect 
status in 1995. With two top-notchers from director Gregory Dark, and with 


Sodomania’s Patrick Collins pulling a hard-core hat trick, it hardly seemed a 
year of surprises. 
John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut and the Annabel Chong-versus-a-hangar-of-horn- a 
dogs nightmare The World’s Biggest Gangbang returned a flicker of old-school 
showmanship to modern porn marketing, but the tapes themselves were 
bleak and boring, onanistically useless. 


- _ 


The reigning sin sirens of 95 were ball-blistering blondes Juli Ashton and 
Jenna Jameson, impossibly beautiful brunet savories Rebecca Lord and 
Vanessa Chase, and fire-maned Brit ginch Sarah-Jane Hamilton. a 

Rayveness and Rachel Love contributed their huge, surgically unenhanced 4, 
dairy cannons to the flesh feast; smolder pussy Careena Collins fucked with 
intoxicating, all-her-own abandon; Buttman’s Big Butt Backdoor Babes show- 
cased Eduarda, the most delectably perfect, full-figured teenager to ever blow 
and bone on film; tattooed girl skin lapsed from fashion; and the ten titles 
assembled below in alphabetical order are guaranteed to coax forth goo from 
even a half-hearted hand humper. 
opmeemeememn Happy new leers. 


THE BOTTOM DWELLER 33/ 


Directed by Patrick Collins * (Elegant Angel) 


” 


Y i mo MS. 


Two words: Coreena 
Collins. Wad spurting. Hard 
fucking. Asshole fanatic. 
Cum gargling. Clit thump- 
ing. Jizz splashing. Meaty 
cunt. Dicked ass. Sweet sin- 
ner. Candy tits. Sugar nips. 
Bucking slut. Full throttle. 
Sperm facial. Desperate 
orgasms. Sincere lust. Do 
anything. Love everything. 
Fully Erect. 


Compulsive Behavior 
delivers Teri Diver and 
Tom Elliot as the most 
inventively erotic smut 
maestros since Patrick 
Collins and John Leslie. 
Their plot-intensive, artful- 
ly laid-out debut boasts a 
pro-am cast numbering in 
the dozens and a unique, 
striking editing style that 
makes the sex scene tally 
seem like it veers into the 
hundreds. Compulsive 
Behaviors multitude of 
performers shine, the inno- 
vative filmmaking tech- 
niques are first fucking 
rate, and the masturbatory 
moments are innumerable. 


yor 


VER Picks the > 
% 


COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR 


Directed by Teri Diver and Tom Elliot 


(Odyssey Group Video) 


a 4 
Pe 
=<) 


Private Video, long 
renowned for their exquis- 
ite European flesh epics, 

A utilizes first-rate Yankee 
wank stars in Costa Rica 
Studies, and the result is a 
sublimely tantalizing inter- 
national romp. Sally Layd 
leads a busload of lovelies 
on a lush getaway, where 
their every portal is dou- 
ble- and 

triple-nailed repeatedly in 
a nonstop series of mes- 
merizing sex junkets. Costa 
Rica Studies is an elegant 
primer in grade-A porn. 


COSTA RICA STUDIES 


Directed by Max Steiner ¢ (Private Video) 


NEW WAVE HOOKERS 4 


Directed by Gregory Dark + (VCA Platinum Plus) 


To understand the true cal backbone of New Wave 
nature of the feminine mind,” — Hookers 4; gland-bursting 
intones Half Pint, the insane, heat comes from over a 
midget narrator of New Wave dozen sumptuous gash- 
Hookers 4, “you must first savories being sexed in 
understand the mentality of demure settings while 

the prostitute.” Female sexu- — bedecked in bizarre costumes. 


New Wave Hookers 4 is an 
outrageous, erotic triumph. 


ality’s acquisitory underpin- 
nings provide the philosophi- 


GANG-BANG GIRL 14 


Directed by Biff Malibu »* (Anabolic Video) 


from Lord's labes, and the sear- 
ing intensity is near unbeliev- 
able. Director Biff Malibu all 
but reinvents the clusterfuck 
with Gang-Bang Girl 14: stro- 
kers everywhere will all but 
bust their nuts in appreciation. 


Bang Girl 14, Chase and Lord 
electrically lay waste to the rods 
of more than a dozen hard- 
dicked hard hats on a carnal 
construction site: The multi- 
meat marathon culminates with 
Chase sucking spuzz directly 


Vanessa Chase is 1995's ulti- 
mate discovery of dewy, incan- 
descent, baby-faced lust. 
French fuck-stiletto Rebecca 
Lord is a sinewy, devastating 
marvel of lean muscle and lewd 
motion. Together, in Gang- 


SODOMANIA 9: DOING TIME 


Directed by Patrick Collins * (Elegant Angel) 


boned up her own. From 
there, cherubic Vanessa 
Chase is willingly molested | 3 
by big man Roscoe 
Bowltree, followed by scin- 
tllating, sticky group sex, [*) 


Getting tired of the works 
of kink-bent director 
Patrick Collins would, at this 
point, be tantamount to 
getting tired of having 
orgasms. In Sodomania 9 


alone, hitchhiking slink slit + voyeuristic schoolgirl- 

Tiffany Mynx gets picked blowjob clip and a three- 
up by a dude and his bitch, dick grudge porking of a 
takes their dildos in her saucy slut with a chip up 


her bung. Doing Time is the © 
perfect way to do if. 


every hole, eats the cou- 
ple’s butts, and then gets 


SODOMANIA I 1: 
IN YOUR FACE 


Directed by Patrick Collins * (Elegant Angel) 


Director Collins and his 
associates deservedly win 
a Fully Erect rating again. 
Readers who check out 
Sodomania 11: In Your 
Face will find themselves 
launching similar high 
praise...again and again 
and again. 


Uber-perv Pat Collins 
delivers a Sodomania 
tape again. This eleventh 
outing features a globe- 
spanning array of top- 
flight, fresh-faced, sizzle- 
snatched tyro-bangers 
again. Every scene is a 
raunchy revelation again. 


Loony-bird filthmaker 
Gregory Dark conjures a 
king-hell fuck epic for his 
return to porn’s vaunted 
Devil in Miss Jones series, 
and the result is a grand 
scale apocalypse of all 


things salacious and pro- 
_ fone. A preposterous Old 
Nick assails delectable, 
blond, breasty Juli Ashton 
through a surreal series of 
eye-popping perversions. 
DMJS's a fitful continua- 
tion of the Miss Jones 
‘saga, a blazingly whack- 
worthy entry into othe 
i a _ canon of ecole a 
- rated entertainment. 


GREGORY DARK’ S DMJ5: 

THE INFERNO 

Directed by Gregory Dark * (VCA Platinum Plus) 
wr: tae Gu 

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Directed by Bionca * (Bruce Seven Productions) 
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about in HUSTLER—except one. “Mrs 


nation, the pistoning of Robin’s seat meat 
against my crotch was dredging up a 
splooge deluge of cataclysmic proportions. 
Much to my amazement, Mrs. Reucroft sat 
straight up in bed and yanked Robin’s 
mane back in the direction of her squack. 

“There'll be trouble, all right,” croaked 
Mrs. Reucroft through a matronly smile. 
“If you don’t keep eating me out, I might 
sue you for malpractice!” Robin frantically 
mouthed the pink cunt folds as if adminis- 
tering the kiss of life. When Mrs. Reucroft 
caught an eyeful of my big johnson sink- 
ing into Robin’s bum, she licked her lips 
with a hunger that the shitty hospital food 
couldn’t satisfy. I practically leap-frogged 
over Robin to give her recovering patient a 
taste of meat—straight from the can. 

“Mmm. It’s been so long since my hus- 
band could even get it up,” Mrs. Reucroft 
rhapsodized between mouthfuls. She gob- 
bled my balls and jacked me off with the 
expertise of a seasoned old cocksucker, 
only stopping momentarily to guide 
Robin’s tongue back to her love button. 
This three-way was like the fulfillment of 
every kinky act I’d ever read about in 
HUSTLER—except one. 

“Mrs. Reucroft,” I began sheepishly. 
“Do you suppose I could talk you into giv- 
ing me a gumjob?” When she promptly 
pulled out her false choppers and still had 
an even sexier face than the one buried in 
her muff, I knew I had finally discovered 
the older woman of my dreams. The sen- 
sation of sliding my rod into that perfectly 
smooth, warm cavity was like nothing ve 
ever experienced. I almost lost my footing 
and fell onto the bed, but felt myself stead- 
ied from behind by Robin, who was orally 
exploring my enema-clean shitter. Mrs. 
Reucroft’s mouth worked like an old-time 
Hoover vacuum cleaner on full blast; even 
when her head was perfectly still, I could 
feel the muscles in the back of her throat 
pulling at me with nad-churning force. 
Finally, I grabbed her by the head—gen- 
tly, so as not to break anything—and 
fucked Mrs. Reucroft’s toothless face like 
the world’s biggest, red-haired pussy. I 
dropped my load with a sigh of relief. 

Unfortunately, Mrs. Reucroft hadn’t even 
worked her way up to swallowing chicken 
soup, let alone a torrential gush of salty 
semen. She gagged and coughed out my 
cock, which continued to spray sperm like 
an out-of-control garden hose. Robin took 
her face out of my ass long enough to panic. 

“Oh, no,” she cried. “You’re not get- 
ting jizz all over these sheets after I just 
had them washed, It’s unsanitary!” 
Instinctively, she milked my pud into a 
nearby bedpan, then licked it clean in a 
cum-drunk frenzy. 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


Hot Letters This three-way was like the fulfill 


Two days later I received a bill for 
$25,000. I hope my health insurance 
covers “felching.” —J. H. 

Beloit, Wisconsin 


UNIDENTIFIED FUCKING 
OBJECT 


You all probably won't believe I saw a 
flying saucer. My buddy Herschell didn’t 
believe me when I came over to smoke 
grass and ogle his pigtailed younger sister, 
Donita, who walks around the house with 
ass spilling out of her cut-off jeans. 

“You didn’t see no goddamn aliens,” 
said Herschell, without even taking his 
mouth off the bong. “Ever since we been 
little kids, you see crazy shit when we 
smoke wacky weed. Remember last week, 
when you thought I was Cindy Crawford 
and tried to screw me in the ass?” 

I punched him in the back and whis- 
pered, “Shut the fuck up, Herschell!” 
Donita was walking to the front door, her 
car keys jingling with every bounce of her 
bodacious butt. A checkered halter-top was 
hardly enough to contain the two massive 
titties I thought about every night as | 
choked my chicken in the woods. When 
Donita left, I told Herschell, “I'd sure love 
to grab your sister’s pigtails like the handle- 
bars of my Harley and do her from behind.” 


iw 


(continued from page 31) 


ment of every kinky act I'd ever read 
. Reucroft,” | began. “Do you suppose | could talk you into giving me a gumjob?” 


Herschell got mad and said, “You'd bet- 
ter get the fuck out of here. We smoked a 
whole bowl, and any minute you’re bound 
to start thinking I’m Pamela Anderson.” 

Moments later, I was out in the dark 
woods with my pants around my ankles. 
My meat-beating was interrupted by a sud- 
den burst of white light. The UFO I'd seen 
had returned! As a door on the spacecraft 
opened and a mysterious figure stepped 
out, I started to panic. 

“Hey, E. T.,” I yelled over the roar of the 
ship’s powerful, advanced engine. “Are 
you hostile, or have you come from a 
planet with no men, and you want my 
sperm to propagate your dying, alien race?” 

The creature approached me, silhouetted 
in the blinding glare. “Uhh...1 come in 
peace,” it said in a weird, high-pitched 
voice. “Now how about coming in my 
piece?” I was too stoned to think or see 
clearly, but it seemed like the alien was 
horny; and for an alien, this thing had 
some pretty nice curves. As a matter of 
fact, its outline looked the same as any 
hot, 18-year-old piece of ass, except for 
two droopy antennas on its head. 

I slid my hand between the alien’s 
smooth, hairless legs, and was pleased to 
feel the familiar peach fuzz of pussy—no 
matter what the species. There was an 
opening too, although quite a bit smaller 


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than the women of Earth I usually score. 
Just like those two-bit whores, however, a 
few quick moves of my talented fingers 
had the alien breathing heavy and cream- 
ing against my palm. 

The alien removed the top half of her 
spacesuit and unleashed two gargantuan 
bazooms that were definitely not of this 
earth. They were smooth as baby butt, with 
tiny nipples that grew more erect with 
every touch. I sucked those mams like a 
man possessed until the alien begged me to 
quit—she didn’t want to come so quickly. | 
had this alien turned on beyond belief. She 
returned the favor by unzipping my fly and 
taking my raging hard-on in her mouth. 
Unfortunately. they must not have oral sex 
on other planets, because the alien didn't 
seem to know what she was doing. After | 
grabbed her antennas and bobbed her head 
up and down in my lap, however, she was 
swallowing cock like a faggot in no time If 
only I could get a better look—for all I 
knew, the creature choking down my peter 
could have blue skin and three eyes. Those 
minor details didn’t seem to matter when 
the alien climbed on top of me and forced 
her tight, red-hot snatch onto my cock. 

“Tt hurrrts.” she moaned. “Don’t stop!” 

As my hands dug into her rubbery, baby- 
fat ass, I realized this alien had a virgin 
pussy! My crank had boldly gone where no 
man—or thing—had gone before. I held 
onto her loudly slapping floppers and 
fucked harder than ever. This was a historic 
moment, and I was going to make it count. 

Suddenly the alien unleashed a piercing 
scream, the likes of which I can only com- 
pare to running over a possum in my pick- 
up truck. “My asshole,” she panted. “Stick 
it further up my asshole!” At first I thought 
maybe this advanced race had their taints 
on backward. Gradually, however, my 
eyes focused on a familiar face, grinning 
over the alien's shoulder—Herschell! Me 
and my best buddy were double-stuffing a 
space virgin. This was even better than the 
time we pulled a train on Mrs. Sherman in 
tenth grade. While tearing into the alien’s 
slit, and feeling every muscle in her body 
tense with climax, | couldn’t help slapping 
Herschell a high five. 

“Come on my tits,” commanded the 
alien. Under some kind of weird, hypnotic 
control, Herschell and I simultaneously 
unplugged her holes, and aimed our hoses 
at her bounteous bosom. Hot, ropy spurts 
of jizz sailed through the night air, splash- 
ing against the alien’s face and torso. She 
hungrily lapped up the last dribbles from 
our leaky faucets, and sucked at her spunk 
encrusted fingers. Probably storing the 
chemical composition in her super com- 
puter-like brain, | figured. Without even 


bothering to climb back into her flimsy 
spacesuit, the alien jumped up and ran 
back toward the bright glare of the ship 

“Wait.” I hollered. “You can’t leave! 
What about sloppy seconds” 

She returned and grabbed my crotch, 
cooing, “I'll be right here.” With a thun- 
derous noise and the smell of exhaust, 
the lights took off into the sky. At least. 
I think they did: I was distracted by bot 
tle rockets some kids were setting off in 
the woods 

Herschell and I walked back to his place 


NG 


Hot Lette rs Suddenly the alien unleashed a piercing scream, the likes of which | can 


only compare to running over a possum in my pick-up truck. “My asshole,” she panted. “Stick it further up my asshole!” 


to smoke another bowl. We were just in 
time to see Donita come out of the shower 
in a tiny bath towel. I told Herschell, 
“Being the first man on earth to fuck a 
space alien ts pretty cool, but I'd give it all 
for a roll in the hay with your sister.” Later 
that night. he punched me in the face when 
I called him Heather Locklear. N.R. 

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HUSTLER JANUARY 


Lo e ftinks 


The Joy of Farting Together 


By Roberto Santiago 


Tom, a 36-year-old furniture-store salesman, is relaxing in 
his favorite easy chair, his eyes darting back and forth 
between the Raiders game and the golden-blond head 
bobbling in his lap. After three months of dating, he and 
24-year-old Sally are still just getting acquainted—she 
doesn’t know about his ex-wives yet, or his very brief stay 
in prison—but Tom is really into her. Her exceptional 
cocksucking is only the icing on the cake of her lush, baby- 
doll looks, sweet temperament, ability to support herself 
financially and Grace Kelly-like coolness and elegance. 

During a time-out, Sally draws her sticky lips up Tom's 
shaft, looks him in the eye, then dives down until her 
teeth scrape the furry base of his cock. Tom moans and 
thinks, | don’t want to blow this one. 

He blows one. A long, high squeal like a tea-kettle 
whistle slips out of his asshole before the distracted Tom 
can clench his cheeks and keep the noxious gas from 
assaulting Sally's perilously close nostrils. 

Shit—I'm history, Tom thinks as the scent of very old 
beans fills the air. And I'm the jerkoff who insisted on 
soy-cheese burritos. He reaches for his dick before the 
grievously insulted Sally can bite it off and leave forever. 

But Sally just pauses, fans the air dramatically and 
smirks, “I think we'll skip the rimjob tonight, honey.” She 
resumes nibbling his shaft. 

For Tom, it’s true love. Tomorrow, he'll buy a ring. And 
maybe, in time, he'll be given the opportunity to prove 
his love in the face of Sally's butt stench. 

* * * 
The most intimate, private and endearing act a man can 
share with a woman—the act that demonstrates true 
love, commitment and acceptance—is not making love. 
It's not tearfully confessing his fears and weaknesses. 

It's farting in front of her. 

“When looking at my past relationships with women, | 
realize that | might have sucked their toes, lent them 
money, cried in their arms—but seldom have | ever 
farted in front of them, or they in front of me,” admits 
Andre, an accountant from 
Portland, Oregon. 

Men will hold their 
ass gas while engaged 
in polite conversations 

with women they are 

dating, knowing full well 
that a sudden trumpet 
blast from the buttocks 
would end the affair on 
the spot. Farting is the 
last thing a man does in 
a relationship. Farting is 
what a man does after 
he and his woman have 
seen each other urinate 
or moved in together. It 
never happens during 
courtship. 

But why is society 


so tight-assed when it comes to farting? 

“Farting, like moving one’s bowels, is thought of as 
being dirty, and something that should be done privately,” 
explains New York City sex therapist Dr. Judy Kuriansky, 
author of Generation Sex (Harper Paperbacks, 1995) and 
host of a sex-advice radio show, Love Phones. “So when 
farting is done in front of someone else, it becomes an 
act open to interpretation. Is it comfort or contempt? It 
all depends on how strong the relationship is, and how 
well the man and woman know each other.” 

Jeff, an actor from Los Angeles, California, says that, 
as with his first kiss, he will never forget his first fart. 

“| was sitting on the couch with my girlfriend, 
Molly, watching a video, and | released a fart that 
sounded like someone had stepped on a duck,” Jeff 
remembers. “It snuck up on me, and we laughed at it. 
And then | realized that we had been living together for 
two years and had never farted in front of each other. 
Any time | had to fart, | would excuse myself and go to 
the bathroom. No more! Every now and then, Molly 
will blanch and gag, but in general she doesn't mind 
my gas. It's so much more comfortable and convenient 
to fart while in her arms.” 

For Don, a restaurant worker from Miami Beach, 
Florida, there is often a feeling of pride when he cuts a 
really bad fart that stinks of rotten eggs or fermented pork. 

“Men like me are the true Pepe LePews of the world,” 
he declares. “We bring romance and stench as one.” 

One night after letting a stink bomb go off in bed, Don 
thoughtfully pulled his girlfriend, Sondra, under the covers 
and held her so that she could savor his intestinal perfume. 

But frequent bed farts can lead to paranoia and mis- 
takes in judgment. One night, Don was awakened by a 
foghorn blast. He sat straight up in bed. 

“Damn!” Don yelled. 

“What is it? What is it?” Sondra asked, suddenly waking. 

“| thought you farted!” 

“Don belts out the smelly ones, and | belt out the loud 
ones,” Sondra shrugs. “I put up with his as much as he 
puts up with mine. No double standards here.” 

But Michael, an engineer from Jersey City, New 
Jersey, thinks there is a double standard when it comes 
to farting. He remembers being furious when a woman 
he had just begun an affair with farted in front of him. 

“| had known Debbie for less than a week, and she 
was stinking up my bedroom,” Michael recalls. He imme- 
diately stopped seeing her, but couldn't understand why 
he was so repelled. “| had worked my finger up her ass 
while | ate her pussy, but the idea that she would fart 
disgusted me.” 

Judy Kuriansky believes that women are far more tol- 
erant about farting than men are. 

“If a woman farts first, men often get offended,” 
says the therapist. “Sometimes they do not forgive. 
There was one caller to Love Phones who says he was 
performing oral sex on his girlfriend, when she suddenly 
farted in his face. He was so mad that he never spoke 
to her again. When it is the other way around, a 


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“If someone gets mad at a fart, then the love cannot be true,” Andre maintains. “| 


never farted in front of women that | didn’t love, but for my fiancee, Christina, | reserve my most putrid butt blasts.” 


woman understands that it is an accident. It is 
the nature of women to be more forgiving.” 

Some people interpret a fart as meaning 
that the person is defecating on them, posits 
Kuriansky, because, in most cases, a fart indi- 
cates that the body is ready for a bowel 
movement. 

“A fart sometimes occurs when people are 
highly excited during sex, and it slips out,” she 
says. “It's not personal. It's just the body react- 
ing to sexual excitement.” 

When it comes to cutting the cheese, 
Kuriansky recommends that couples lay down 
ground rules. 

“If a fart happens accidentally, and the other 
person is offended, the one who farted should 
apologize and state that he or she did not do it 
on purpose,” Kuriansky advises. “A relationship 
should not end on account of a fart.” 

But Fred, a high-school teacher from Knoxville, 
Tennessee, understands Michael's repulsion 
toward Debbie so early in their relationship. 

“Sex is one thing,” Fred declares, “but you 
have to deeply love someone to tolerate their 
smells and noises." In fact, he adds, “Wanna 
test out how strong your live-in relationship 
is? Squeeze out a little fart next time. If your 
partner walks out, they weren't worth it in the 
first place.” 

Andre, the accountant, agrees that farting is 
a test of a couple's love. 

“If someone gets mad at a fart, then the love 
cannot be true,” Andre maintains. “| never 
farted in front of women that | didn’t love, but 
for my fiancee, Christina, | reserve my most 
putrid butt blasts.” 

That lucky girl says she was offended at first 
by Andre's farting, but quickly learned that it 
was an act of endearment, not disrespect. 

Now, says Christina, “If Andre farted in front 
of another woman, it would be as bad as cheat- 
ing. | was insecure about allowing myself to fart 
in front of Andre, but when | finally did, it 
brought us closer together. It showed how much 
we trusted and cared about each other.” 

“There are two days | treasure the most,” 
Andre says. “The day | asked Christina to marry 
me, and the day she first cut one in front of me.” 

Christina adds: “Farting, like love, means 
never having to say, ‘I'm sorry.’” 

And, like love, a fart sometimes doesn't last 
forever. 

Joe, a musician living in Phoenix, Arizona, 
says that once he breaks up with a lover, the fart- 
ing stops. 

“One night, | was going through old pho- 
tographs of my ex-wife, Darcy, and | tried to 
remember the last time | heard her fart,” he 
relates. “| couldn't remember, and it brought me to 
tears. The once-taboo act had become so 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


commonplace that it had faded from memory.” 

Joe says he sees Darcy from time to time, as 
friends, but they will never share a fart again. 

“To fart in front of a woman | am no longer 
intimate with is to invite disrespect,” he says. 

Aside from anal anxiety, there are other 
sources of fart fear, such as queefing, or varts 
(gas released from the vagina after sexual 
intercourse). 

“Varts are produced during sexual inter- 
course when air gets trapped in the vaginal 
canal during the thrusting,” Judy Kuriansky 
explains. “Some men mistake the sound for 
gas being released from the anus. But a vart is 
different from a fart. A vart does not have a 
bacteria-based odor. A vart is no more offen- 
sive than a burp.” 

Jeff the actor says he will never forget how 
he felt when he heard Molly honk out a series 
of varts from her vagina as the two lay locked in 
post-coital bliss. Given the choice between ass 
gas and pussy farts, he declares, he will pick a 
blast from the butt every time. 

“Varts scare me,” Jeff admits. “It sounds 
like the pussy is mad and is yelling at me for 
fucking it.” 

“When it comes to relationships,” says 
Kuriansky, “to each his own offense. How we 
react to bodily functions like burps, farts or 
nose-picking often stems from our childhood. 


The angrier our parents reacted to our perform- 
ing a certain act in front of them, the more 
likely we are to become offended by that act.” 

Kuriansky advises people who are not sure 
how their lover will react to their farts to 
release any trapped gas from their intestines 
in the bathroom prior to sex. 

“Sitting on the bowel, bent over, and press- 
ing down on your lower abdomen will release 
any trapped gas,” she instructs. “The best way 
to save yourself any humiliation from gas is to 
have an enema before sex, but that is not 
always possible.” 

Gregory, a banker from Brooklyn, New York, 
says that those remedies may work in the short 
run, but there is one cardinal rule for farting. 

“You should only fart in front of someone you 
know, love and care about very deeply,” he 
asserts. “My wife, Hallie, and | fart in front of 
each other every day like it was nothing. If you 
can laugh at your farts, you can laugh at your- 
self. Farting maintains a sense of humor in a 
relationship. | think farting can actually save 
marriages.” 

“But there are limits,” Hallie pipes in. “If we 
eat fast-food hamburgers, onion rings or fried 
chicken and milk, we excuse ourselves, run to 
the bathroom and shut the door.” 

Gregory nods furiously. “Sometimes, just some- 
times, there are smells too stinky for love.” @ 


TCI rirrnrssen 


“This morning we'll discuss the very serious issue of child molestation. 
How can we keep doing it and not get caught?” 


47 


| Russian | 


Misi 


Brideskis Foreign dating services dangled as their carrot a one-way ticket out of 


Perestroika hell to the Promised Land, where supermarkets overflow with gristle-free comestibles. 


Editor’s Note: All names have been | 


changed. 


The game was over as soon as McDonald’s 
opened its doors near Red Square in 
Moscow. It was like placing a naked, 
buxom wench in the midst of a thousand 
sex-starved convicts. The Big Mac fantasy 
did not stop at hamburgers and fries; 
McMales with McCars and McHouses had 
become an irresistible lure for goods- 
starved Russian women. Up sprung the 


foreign dating services, which dangled as | 


their carrot a one-way ticket out of 
Perestroika hell to the Promised Land, 
where supermarkets overflow with gristle- 
free comestibles, and the men aren’t stink- 
ing drunk on potato vodka from before 
noon until existential day’s end. 


Nakhoda (translation: “Godsend”) is | 


one of many Moscow-based agencies that 
send photos and vital statistics of aspiring 
Amerikanskis to stateside businesses such 
as Scanna International, a Pittsford, New 
York, pen-pal clearinghouse that supplies 
American men with spiral-bound book- 
lets displaying the exotic merchandise. 
For page after photocopied page, kohl- 
smudged nubiles stare uncertainly at the 
hope of a “better life.” Perusing these 
puppy-eyed pretties is more overwhelm- 
ing than a trip to the dog pound. A num- 


SNWAINS= TINS. 


ber placed below each woman’s photo 
identifies her pitch on the facing page: 


#115-F5. Elena S. 24 yrs, 5'7", 125 lbs., 
gray-green eyes, musical teacher, from 
Petropavlovsk, never married. “My char- 
acter is contradictory. About my shortcom- 


ings, I'll write in future letters. My dignities | 


are faithfulness, I’m a good housekeeper, 
soft and gentle, emotional.” Seeks WM, 
intelligent, mature, decent, educated, inter- 
ested in family life, music, art. Writes 
English, Russian. 


#108-F5. Irina B, 21 yrs, 5' 11", 153 
lbs., brown eyes, student, from Sverdlosk, 
never married. “I am not a bore. I easily 
get on with people. I like order, neatness. 1 
am fond of cycling, travels. I am beautiful 
and have a good figure.” Seeks WM, well- 
educated, family-oriented, fond of chil- 
dren, over 28. Writes English, Russian. 


Scanna began in 1980 as a conduit for 
Scandinavian-American matches, but its 
most fecund female resource is the former 
Soviet Union. The company puts out two 
booklets every three to four weeks, each 
with 200 new ladies. One booklet includes 
women from all of Europe and North and 
South America; the other is entirely 
Russian. Nearly 10,000 Russian matrimo- 


“Dat wuz wonderful—maybe next time we can even kiss!” 


50 


nial hopefuls are ogled and judged by an 


| estimated field of 2,500 men each year. 


A 40-page booklet sells for $5, but the 
company makes its money by selling 
addresses at $10 apiece—or $7 if ten or 
more are bought at one time. A Scanna 
employee says that men tend to “play 
the numbers game and get a lot of 
addresses at once.” 

Take Ed Burden, a middle-aged, San 
Diego, California, airline pilot with a 
small tire around the middle who corre- 
sponds with six or seven women. Ed uses 
a word processor to write to his prospec- 
tive brides. (“There’s no goddamn way 
you can write individual letters to ’em.”) 
He has a sheaf of annotated file folders, 
each containing letters and photos from a 
Russian girl contacted through Scanna. 

“T tell each gal that she oughta send me 
more photos,” drones Ed, as he displays let- 
ters and snapshots of Russian women doing 
their best to look alluring. “It’s hard to tell 
what they look like in the Scanna books.” 

One letter, painstakingly handwritten 
in English, reads: 


Very pleasantly capturing your lines 
of thoughtfulness. Sensitive of your soul. 
My marriage not happen to be happy. 
Not experience mutual happiness and 
manifestation of tenderness for me. My 
husband is money only but he forgot 
about senses. I don’t want it to be 
resemble bird in golden coop to feast 
one’s eyes from far away. I want to have 
mutual understanding, intercourse, love 
from my husband. Many women see in 
Russian husband only tightly shut purse. 


“IT wrote her back and said I wanted to 
have intercourse with her,” jokes Burden. 

“The Russian-women thing makes 
sense to me,” he says more seriously. “I 
can fly over there for free. Soon I’m going 
to spend a month in Moscow. Have all 
these gals come out at one time or another 
from where they’re at. Vladivostok, wher- 
ever. I don’t know who I’m going to like, 
if any of °em. You have to meet ’em.” 

Another young girl, 23 maybe, 
divorced, with a child of four, writes: 


I like to look films, read books, knit- 
ting, outing and make merry with my 
friends. Well, now about my country. My 
country in dense political passion. Hardly 
don’t happen. But all for the present fine. 
Out will neutralize with supreme effort. 
Shed a blood and this afraided of myself. 
! close my letter with dictionary. 


Her having a child doesn’t phase Ed. 
(continued on page 60) 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


)) \———Niahk Ped) 


“Sold!... To the man with the hysterical wife!” 


- 


PHOTOGRABHY BY Ct 


IVE MCLEAN 


/ 


Brideskis 


“As a matter of fact,” he observes, 
“that would probably be a safer bet than 
having a single gal come over here that 
has no kids. With no kids, she might be 
inclined to wander. 

“[ wrote to the Russian gals just to see 
what they were thinking. I told them that 
a lot of women in the United States will 
marry a guy because he’s got money, and 
a woman won't necessarily be real sin- 
cere about devotion and love. And what 
do you think about this? I mean, I don’t 
want to be hoodwinked by one of these 
gals when all she wants to do is get the 
hell out of her country.” 

ae ca oe 
Letters are one thing; getting the men 
within kissing distance of the women is 
another. Southern California immigration 
attorney Jerry Perkins points out the dif- 
ficulty of getting the women over to the 
United States on a traveler’s visa. 

“Only about one out of 20 can get over 
that way,” he says. “It’s a real crap shoot.” 

The alternative is to travel to Russia, 
meet the girls there, make a choice and file 
for a fiancee visa, which usually takes four 
months to get processed. When a girl comes 
to the United States on a fiancee visa, she 
has 90 days to get married, or she has to go 
back to Russia. If she gets married, she 
must file Adjustment Status, then be inter- 


60 


viewed by the Immigration Naturalization | 


Service (INS). The interview can occur any- 
where from two to 13 months after filing. 

“That interview starts the clock when 
she can become permanent,” explains 
Perkins, “which means if she gets divorced 
the next day she can still stay here forever. 
Some will wait until they file the form, 
and the next day, psssht! She’s gone. But 
will that happen? The men, they’re pretty 
decent guys. They’re not going to be alco- 
holics. In Russia, it’s unbelievable.” 

Perkins handles referrals from the 
mail-order Scanna International and from 
a West Coast-based company that takes 
matchmaking a step further by arranging 
tours to the Motherland. 

“There are people out there who go 
through their whole life ordering pictures 
and not doing anything about it,” asserts 
Mark Farber, the head of the tour service. 
“They're photo junkies.” 

His company pares down the photo 
fetishism by capping a limit on photos 
and addresses, which are used primarily 
to whet members’ appetites for regularly 
scheduled trips to Moscow. 

Farber pops in a video of one of the 
banquets he held recently in Moscow. On- 
screen, a flotilla of females tarted up like 
starry-eyed groupies surrounds a group of | 
painfully ordinary American bachelors. 


(continued from page SO) 


“Sometimes a guy will go to that first meeting in Russia, and it goes to his head. 
He thinks he’s a rock star. Usually, he’s the guy who’s got dates with three or four girls and ends up with nobody.” 


“If a guy finds a wife through me, 
there are three things I guarantee him,” 
brags Farber. “She’s going to be younger, 
she’s going to be prettier, and she’s going 
to be far better educated than her Western 
counterpart.” 

Every man who signs up on a tour is 
obliged to sign a contract stipulating a 
$3,000 payment “after client has found a 
suitable mate and married them.” The 
three-grand lump sum does not include tour, 
attorney and correspondence expenses. The 
membership kit explains the high cost: “We 
realize three thousand dollars is a substan- 
tial sum, but when you put it up against 
what you spend for a car, and accept the 
limited utility and pleasure you receive for 
so many thousands more, a lifetime mate 
seems a bargain by comparison.” 

“No one has come right out and said 
I’m peddling women, because there are 
too many dating services to do that,” 
Farber declares. He says critics attack his 
clients instead. 

“They say, ‘What type of person would 
go for a woman in Russia as opposed to 
one here if he weren’t a loser?’ Yeah, 
right. Some of my losers are judges, doc- 
tors, owners of major corporations.” 

As for the motives of these men, says 
Farber, “On my last trip there were some 
very nice guys, and there were some 
playboys. Before the trip was over, 
every one of my playboys was engaged. 
And the nice guys turned into playboys.” 

“Sometimes a guy will go to that first 
meeting in Russia, and it goes to his 
head,” agrees Jerry Perkins. “He thinks 
he’s a rock star. Usually, he’s the guy 
who’s got dates with three or four girls 
an afternoon and ends up with nobody.” 

Perkins’s first trip with the tour— 
strictly in a business capacity—went to 
his head in an entirely different way. 

“I’ve raised a son by myself, and now 
he’s finally in college; so I was going to 
be a free man and start a social life,” 
relates Perkins. “The first meeting I got 
to, there were about 75 women there. I 
panned from right to left with my mouth 
hanging open. The women were all so 
beautiful. I just couldn’t believe it. 

“Way in the corner, there was a girl— 
she looked just like Brooke Shields, eyes 
about this big. She just smiled, and I 
smiled. She said, ‘Are you tired?’ and 
that caught me off-guard. I said, ‘Pardon 
me?’ And she said, in English, “Are you 
very tired?’ I invited her to dinner, and 
we've been together ever since. And you 
know, she was born the same day, the 
same year, that Brooke Shields was.” 

Perkins believes that Russian women 

(continued on page 68) 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


CS 


“Also, this town-meeting concept is the only way a fat turd like me can get chicks...” 


og OP nt os 
Photography by Matti Klatt 


__*You’re looking at my prized 
possession—my rosy-red bullet,” 
coos stuntwoman Tanya Danielle, 

running her fingers over gleaming 

pink. “Her name is Sally. I spend 

hours every day polishing her until 

she glistens. She’s super-responsive, 
flexible, and never overheats, no matter 
how steamy it gets. And she’s extremely 
low maintenance— 

just pump a bit of fuel into her, 


and she can go for hours.” 
___ She is a great car. 


oe ee ee “What car?” 


Brides kis Ed Burden does not foresee virtue as a p 


(continued from page 60) 


roblem when he finally makes it to 


Moscow. “I’ve talked to guys who've been over there, and they said don’t just take a couple of condoms, take a box.” 


have many reasons for wanting to desert 
their native land, aside from the imag- 
ined riches to be found in America. 

“The Soviet women admire Americans 
because they smile easily,” he maintains. 
“You and I wouldn't smile easily if we 
had to live over there. There are certain 
mannerisms the men have over there, that 
in the United States would be considered 
totally gross. The sidewalks are all cov- 
ered with beetle juice, because they don’t 
have dentists, and when they get cavities, 
they get this beetle juice as an anesthetic, 
and they spit. Its disgusting. All over the 
place. Things like that, the women over 
there don’t like, The women over there are 
fantastic; they really are.” 

The born-again-Christian lawyer par- 
ticularly admires Russian women’s 
traditional chasteness. 

But Ed Burden, the airline pilot, does 
not foresee virtue as a problem when he 
finally makes it to Moscow. 

“Tve talked to guys who’ve been over 
there,” he confides, “and they said don’t 
just take a couple of condoms, take a 
box. They'll be fucking your brains out.” 
There’s the distinct smell of lubricated con- 
dom as David Greenspan opens the door to 
his Orange County, California, town house. 
He excuses himself as he finishes buttoning 


up his pants. Screams and shrieks of terror 
echo from an upstairs television. 

“Russian lady upstairs,” grins the bird- 
like, middle-aged lawyer. 

Greenspan explains his interest in 
Russian women. 

“See, we spoil them in this country,” he 
asserts. “They all are looking for their 
Superman, so to speak. They see TV, they 
see Kevin Costner, they see heroes. 
They're quite demanding, and there’s so 
many people, it’s easy come, easy go. If 
you are one of the few who have very won- 
derful endowments, you're okay. It’s diffi- 
cult for me because I’m past my prime. It 
gets harder and harder to compete. The 
thing about this country, even if they’re 
Gravel Gerties, theyll make demands.” 

Greenspan has what he calls a predilec- 
tion for Scandinavian types, which is why 
he hooked up with Scanna in the first 
place, but soon after joining, he gravitated 
toward Russian ladies. 

“[ hate to talk this way about human 
beings, but you have to,” he says. “The real 
good stuff that was Scandinavian wasn’t 
going through Scanna. I saw some of the 
Eastern Europeans, and that caught my 
eye. Of all the countries Scanna was pro- 
moting, the best source was Russia. The 
other countries weren't getting the prime 
material. Whoever was applying would be 


68 


no better than what you might get over 
here in some of the singles magazines.” 

Greenspan has had vast—and disap- 
pointing—experience with the American 
singles scene. 

“IT never met anybody that I had a rela- 
tionship with,” he admits. “At most, it 
might have been a second date. And there 
was just so much baggage with all that 
stuff. Aside from the fact that nine out of 
ten of them, you don’t recognize in person 
from the photographs. It was such an 
ordeal. You lose the better part of an 
evening if you meet somebody after work. 

“But Scanna—I was flabbergasted. There 
was just no place I know where you see that 
kind of quality. But, there are dangers. 
Motivation is obvious. People there are 
under the crunch. Although I will say this: 
The correspondence I’ve had has all been 
high-quality. The Russian women seem to 
be serious-minded. It’s none of this like in 
America where a woman tells you what she 
likes—she wants to know what kind of car 
you have, she wants to know if you like fine 
dining. You don’t get any kind of that stuff 
from the Russian women.” 

He sent invitations to about two dozen 
ladies to come visit him in the States, 
but only the woman upstairs was able to 
get a visa. 

Greenspan lowers his voice to a whisper. 
“I’m very happy with this one. I go to work, 
and what does she do? Nothing. Now if I 
had an American girl, let’s say from 
Florida, she’d be taking one of my cars. I 
don’t know if it'd come back in one hun- 
dred percent condition. She might take off 
for a weekend. That’s what you get with the 
American stuff. You get a little note: ‘I had 
to go to Las Vegas, meet somebody there. 
Back Monday.’ With my car and whatever. 

“I get a feeling with these Russian 
people. You can trust ‘em as far as any 
valuables. Most of them don’t drive, 
which is nice, in the sense that you 
don’t have to worry about them com- 
mandeering anything.” 

But, while Greenspan is happy with the 
girl upstairs, he confesses sotto voce, 
“She’s going back. At this point, I haven't 
met any of the others; so....” 

After she leaves, Greenspan is going to 
Russia to meet with his pen pals who 
couldn’t obtain visas. The girl upstairs 
doesn’t know he’s going. 

“Why tell her?” he insists. “I like her, 
but, you know, when you have a choice, 
you want to know what you're choosing 
from. In other words, you want to know 
what’s available, and hopefully you can 
make the best choice. Any human being has 
to select whether it’s the best they can get.” 

(continued on page 116) 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


“There's too damned much sex on TV these days.” 


anna 


= 
= 
< 


Botany grad student Adrianna has 
been trying unsuccessfully to get sweet 
undergrad Jessica in the sack. 


“It goes against nature,” golden-haired Jessica 
admonishes her tutor, gently pushing Adrianna’s 
wandering fingers away. “Two girls having sex 
can’t make babies.” 


“Watch that bee, Jessie,” orders Adrianna. 

“It takes pollen from one flower, then carries it 
to another. He can’t tell whether those blossoms 
are boys or girls, but more are being created. 
Now, I’m not saying we're flowers, but...” 


“we should at least tend to each other’s buds!” 
finishes Jessica brightly. 


She’s a quick study. 


Photography by Matti Klatt 


OT .. 
ie 


mm 


mu 


FS 


2 ee ee ee 
a 


= 
ry 
Ss 
f 


TCHER MARGOLIS * ILLUSTRATION BY MATS 


ug N MARCH 1995, A JAPANESE CULT POISONED A SUBWAY FULL 


COMMUTERS WITH HOME-BREWED NERVE GAS. ONE MONTH LATER, 
OKLAHOMA CITY WAS SHAKEN BY A DEADLY BOMB CONCOCTED FROM 
YOMMERCIALLY AVAILABLE FERTILIZER AND FUEL OIL. JF ANYONE 
WITH THE RIGHT INGREDIENTS AND A HIGH-SCHOOL GRASP OF 
HEMISTRY CAN CAUSE MASS DESTRUCTION, JUST HOW SAFE ARE WE? 


Chem ica is With hundreds of how-to books available, and easy access to the ingredients for 


bombs and deadly gases, the potential for random mass murder has always existed—but until this year, only in theory. 


February 26, 1993—A homemade car 
bomb composed of common chemical 
feedstocks explodes beneath New York 
City’s World Trade Center, killing six 
and injuring more than 1,000 people. 

March 20, 1995—Cult members 
cook up a potent nerve gas in their own 
labs and release it during the morning 
rush hour in the Tokyo, Japan, subway 
system, injuring 5,000 commuters and 
killing a dozen. 

April 20, 1995—A bomb made of 
fertilizer and fuel oil destroys the 
Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in 
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, killing 
nearly 200 people, including a number 
of children playing in a day-care center. 

* # * 
Terrorism experts have warned for years 
of the substantial casualties that could 
result from chemical weapons in the 
wrong hands. With hundreds of how-to 
books and “recipes” available, and easy 
access to the necessary ingredients for 
bombs and deadly gases, the potential for 
random mass murder has always existed 
but until this year, only in theory. Now, 
says Robert Kupperman of Washington’s 
Center for Strategic and International 
Studies, “Nightmares are coming true. I 
think we’re in deep trouble.” 

“For many years, the common wisdom 


was that terrorist organizations did not 
want to cause massive numbers of deaths 
because it would undercut the sympathy 
for their cause,” explains Leonard 
Spector, a specialist on international ter- 
rorism at the Carnegie Endowment for 
International Peace. “We've seen that go 
by the board with the World Trade 
Center bombing, the chemical weapons 
business in Japan and the horrible act in 
Oklahoma City. So no one knows what's 
going to happen next.” 

Despite law enforcement’s best 
efforts, warns Les Stanford of the U.S. 
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and 
Firearms (ATF), “nobody in the world 
can stop” terrorists with the right knowl- 
edge and materials from producing 
destructive devices. 

* * * 
The horror on the Tokyo subway began 
during rush hour on a Monday morning. 
A crowded train moved silently toward 
its next stop, a major station for govern- 
ment employees. It looked as though a 
careless commuter had spilled a soft- 


drink container on the floor. A couple of 


workers began cleaning up the mess. 
Suddenly, several passengers gasped 
for air and began sneezing. A few rubbed 
their eyes. A number vomited blood. The 
train reached the station and stopped. 


“Damn it, Jan! Don't come in here naked when I'm trying to get off!” 


80 


Several passengers passed out, clutching 
their throats. Others ran for the exits. 

“The smell was something I had never 
experienced,” one passenger, Kazumi 
Ito, told the New York Times. “When I 
got outside, I crouched down on the 
ground. I saw one woman lying on the 
floor in a spasm and screaming.” 

The spilled liquid was no accident. 
Someone had planted containers of a 
nerve gas called sarin on five trains. 

Developed in Germany as a potent 
pesticide, sarin is extremely toxic. A 
small drop of the colorless liquid on the 
skin can kill a person in 15 seconds. 
Minute exposures wreak havoc with 
breathing, vision and muscular control. 

Sarin is not easily purchased—the 
substance has no commercial value, and 
is not produced by any chemical com- 
pany. On the other hand, with a bit of 
scientific know-how and commercially 
available chemicals normally used for 
fire prevention, medical purposes and 
making ballpoint-pen ink, the thinking 
terrorist can whip up a batch of home- 
made sarin. 

The alleged culprits, members of a 
cult known as Aum_ Shinrikyo 
(“Supreme Truth”), had been stockpiling 
chemicals that could be combined to 
produce sarin and other fatal agents for 
at least two years, according to Japanese 
police. In a series of raids on the sect’s 
several properties, the authorities uncov- 
ered hidden laboratories and secret 
decontamination chambers in addition to 
toxic chemicals. 

Less than a month after the Tokyo inci- 
dent, on April 19, Japanese commuters 
faced another attack—this time involving 
phosgene, a poison gas developed by 
Nazi Germany. Passengers traveling on 
an early afternoon train in Yokohama 
began coughing, feeling dizzy and experi- 
encing sore throats. While the second 
attack claimed no fatalities, 400 people 
were hospitalized. 

Terrorists struck again in Yokohama 
on April 21, and in Tokyo on May 6—in 
the latter instance using a cyanide device 
that was defused by police before it 
could emit the poison gas. 

For two months, fear and terror shat- 
tered the calm and order of Japan. A 
fearful populace did not know when or 
where the terrorists would attack. 
Finally, on May 16, authorities arrested 
Shoko Asahara, the head of Aum 
Shinrikyo and an admirer of Adolf 
Hitler. But even with the arrest of 
Asahara and confiscation of the cult’s 
lab materials, only time will tell if the 

(continued on page 111) 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


mee 2 ET ey 


Nt ae 
by \l 
AS emes yey baa 


“I’m too sleepy to have my picture taken,” yawns waitress 
Tammy, kicking back the covers. “I don’t feel like posing. You 
can follow me around while I do my business, if you like. But 
I’m just going to relax and read my book today. I don’t know 
how exciting that will be.” 


We'll be the judge of that. 


Photography by James Baes 


=) 
} 
ehi.” 


HUSTLERS HONEY Call: 800- HUSTLER 


SEE January 1996 beled Bip 


i Lilt cil Jin! ANE 
al et td ool ula 4 


Tony the nightclub owner was dazzled by the original 
song-writing skills of Marvin, his new piano player. 

“What do you call that one, Marv?” Tony asked after 
an up-tempo number. 

Marvin replied: “That’s titled, ‘Drop Your Drawers 
and Sit on My Face.’ Before that I played, ‘Suck My 
Cock, and I'll Shave Your Pussy.’ ” 

“Keep up the good work,” Tony sighed, “but do me a 
favor, Marv: Don’t announce your songs by name.” 

Later that evening, Marvin delighted the clubgoers 
for hours. Then he took a quick bathroom break, and 
returned to the floor. 

“Excuse me, sir,” a female patron called. “Do you 
know your fly is open, and your dick is hanging out?” 

“Know it?” Marvin beamed. “Lady, I wrote it!” 


Question: What do kissing and real estate have in 
common? 
Answer: Location, location, location. 


A tall, luscious blonde entered a shoe store and 
announced: “Bring me a pair of low heels, any style.” 
“What are you going to wear them with?” a clerk 
inquired. 
“A short, fat, elderly dress manufacturer,” the chippie 
answered. 


The HUSTLER Dictionary defines navel destroyer 
as: a hula hoop with a nail in it. 


I, an expensive Italian restaurant, a food critic found a 
greasy black hair in his otherwise superb meal. 
Outraged, he stormed the kitchen, only to discover 
the chef stirring his erect penis in a pot of tomato sauce. 
“Don’t you have a wooden spoon?” the horrified 
critic winced. 
“Wooden spoons we a-got,” the cook blushed. 
“Ricotta cheese, we run out of!” 


92 


Lite Johnny queried: “Dad, what’s the difference 
between theory and reality?” 

“Son,” Johnny’s father instructed, “go ask your mom 
if she’d fuck a stranger for a million dollars.” 

Johnny did as he was told, then reported: “Mom says 
she’d do it, Pop.” 

“Okay,” the father chuckled. “Now pose the same 
question to your sister.” 

Little Johnny got the same response from his sister. 

“It’s simple,” Johnny’s father concluded: “In theory, 
John, you and I share a house with a pair of millionaires, 
but in reality, we live with a couple of sluts.” 


The HUSTLER Dictionary defines paternity suit as: 
The penalty for leaving the scene of an accident. 


S.1 Rosenberg rushed his three-year-old to the emer- 
gency room, 

“He swallowed several coins from my antique coin 
collection,” Sol panicked. “Please help us!” 

After more than an hour, the nurse saw that Sol had 
not calmed down. 

“Relax, Mr. Rosenberg,” she smiled. “The doctor 
that’s handling your son is extremely skilled.” 

“Yes,” Sol fretted, “but is he honest?” 


, 


OD icctics: What’s the best way to keep a hard-on? 
Answer: Don’t fuck with it. 


A Catholic woman tearfully sought the counsel of her 
local priest. 

“IT threw my husband, Sean, out,” the woman wept, 
“because he cheated on me. Now he swears he’ll be 
true, and he’s begging to come home. What should I 
do, Father?” 

The reverend patted the bereaved parishioner’s hand. 

“The church forbids divorce,” he stated, “so you'll 
have to forgive Sean, and give him another chance. 

“But,” the priest added, as his grip tightened, “you 
could get back at that bastard first...” 


Question: Why are cowboy hats curved on the side? 
Answer: So that three can fit across the front seat of 
a pick-up truck. 


HUSTLER Humor jokes are sent to us by our readers. If 
you've heard a gut-buster lately, why not send it our 
way? Submit your jokes on 3" X 5" cards, mailed in a 
sealed envelope, to HUSTLER Humor, 8484 Wilshire 
Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211. If your 
joke is selected, we'll send you a check for $50. Sorry — 
we cannot return submissions. @& 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


itt BE BACK, NIGGER, 
lit BE BACK, NIGGER. 
fil BE BACK, NIGGER, 


CLICK ON HUSTLER Z 
CLICK ON FREEDOM. Join HUSTLER Online and Fight the Good Fight 


Tearing Down 
the Information 
Superhighway 


Report by Allan MacDonell * IIlustration by Mitch O’Connell 


THE U.S. 


GOVERNMENT, 


SHOCKED THAT THERE'S SEX ON 


THE INTERNET, IS CRASHING THE COMPUTER PARTY. 


HUSTLER believes that fighting the forces of repression is 


best done with a hard-on. We’ ve carried that stiff attitude of 


resistance for more than 20 years. Every issue of HUSTLER 
is an object lesson to would-be censors that free expression 
is the keystone of the liberties that make this country great. 
Our credo of “fight them by fucking with them” extends 
into cyberspace. HUSTLER Online is blazing the same trails 
through the World Wide Web that America’s Best has 
carved through the magazine industry for more than two 
decades. Larry Flynt has adamantly battled to preserve the 


Zr 


freedoms guaranteed all Americans in the Bill of Rights. 
Larry has put up rather than shut up, taking his cause to the 
Supreme Court, to the newsstands, to a sidewalk spilled with 
his own blood in Lawrenceville, Georgia. 

The drive to ensure free thought powers HUSTLER Online. 
Get a modem and check it out. Key in http://hustler.onprod.com 
and log on. 

HUSTLER Online buzzes with all the eroticism and 
irreverence of HUSTLER’s printed edition, plus more. Our 
electronic version is stacked with extra photos of our lus- 


cious Honeys, hand-picked outtakes, many of 


which were judged too hot for newsstand 
consumption. We've also packed our Internet 
reviews of X-rated sex flicks with more and 
harder shots than between our glossy paper 
covers. And, our Net-side subscribers will be 
invited to participate in special promotional 
interactions. 

We're providing anyone who visits the 
HUSTLER Online site with the e-mail 


addresses of individual members of the 
United States Congress and a protest letter 
instructing the politicians how to vote on 


such mind-control measures as Senator 


Exon’s Communications Decency Act of 


1995. This online equivalent to pre- 


addressed, stamped envelopes empowers our 


readers to communicate directly with their 
elected servants, 

HUSTLER Online is rapidly evolving, 
much like the Internet itself. Watch for the 
addition of sound and moving graphics. The 
day will come when our Honeys speak 
directly to you by name. Until then, post 
some e-mail to our editors, our publisher, our 
models. Give us your most prized comments 
and fantasies. 


i nte rn et “Their concerns verge on the paranoid,” diagnoses Maxwell Charleston of Wired and 


Willful, a loose-knit allegiance of computer-literate malcontents. “Censorship is never rational.” 


Luke Matthews is a late arrival to cyber- 
space. Matthews, 43, makes his living 
outdoors, working with his hands. His 
wife of 12 years, Mary, and his two 
kids—one 11, the other eight—keep Luke 
in a whirl of family obligations that leave 
him little inclination to devote his life to 
a web of computer networks, 

One evening, Luke arrives early to 
pick up Mary at a local university, where 
she is enrolled in night classes. Mary 
tells Luke to amuse himself with an open 
computer. She clicks Luke online, and he 
discovers the Internet. 

Luke scans an index of chat rooms and 
Usenet newsgroups. He stops at miso.ty.ca 
(men in search of transvestites in 
California), A real-time, typed-in discus- 
sion of man-size spike-heel shoes is not in 
Luke's best interest; so he clicks into a few 
more talk spots. Much of the flirty commu- 
nication centers around guys trying to get 
dates with broads. 

Luke's roving settles on the site 
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.waifs. He 


opens a photo file. Starting at the top of 


Luke’s screen, the image of a lank-haired, 
baby-face nymphet forms on his monitor 
and fills toward the bottom. Luke watches 
with open-jawed anticipation as a man’s 
head comes into the picture, level with the 
young lady's breasts, nuzzling her fresh 


nerps. The picture finishes up; the guy's 
cock is wedged into her snatch. 

“Hey,” says Mary, hovering over 
Luke's shoulder. “Has HUSTLER’S 
BARELY LEGAL finally gone on-line?” 

The computer phenomenon suddenly 
makes sense to Luke. He and Mary pur- 
chase a modem for their home PC and 
subscribe to America Online (AOL). 
Mary accesses reference materials for 
her term papers through the Net, and 
Luke cruises the Web to while away the 
evenings while Mary is at school. 

Luke is astonished but thrilled at the 
variety of perversities available on the Net. 
Finally, here’s a medium where adults can 
exchange information and what Luke likes 
to think of as “art” without the intrusion 
of uptight, censorship-loving middlemen. 
After all, he’s in the privacy of his own 
home, and he doesn’t need any intermedi- 
ary to protect his computer-proficient chil- 
dren from nasty on-screen words and 
images—that’'s what he’s there for. 

One evening in a chocolate erotica BBS 
(bulletin board), Luke reads a post from 
Little Rock, Arkansas, requesting pictures 
of black guys with huge dicks manhan- 
dling small, delicate white women. Luke 
remembers a layout in the 21 st-anniver- 
sary issue of HUSTLER. Being friendly, 
he digs up the photos, scans them onto his 


“Can't say for sure if your future will be necessarily bright—but it sure 
has a lot of pussy in it!” 


96 


system and puts them up for grabs. He 
receives an e-mail note of thanks. 

Three days later, while he’s cooking 
dinner, Luke's front and back doors crash 
in simultaneously. Jackbooted federal 
agents, rifles drawn, stream in and seize 
all computer hardware and files from the 
Matthews residence. Luke is charged with 
interstate dissemination of obscenity. He 


faces a four-year prison term and fines 


that exceed the amount of money he 
expects to make in the next ten years. 
cS * * 

The preceding dramatization is no more 
exaggerated than the arguments of the 
cyber censors. Government officials and 
so-called decency organizations are crying 
to clean up the worldwide computer web. 
The shrillest bleating comes from Senator 
James Exon (D-Nebraska). On February 2, 
1995, Senator Exon introduced the 
Communications Decency Act to “protect 
the public from the misuse of the telecom- 
munications network.” Exon’s proposed 
bill would prohibit the transmission of 
“obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy or inde- 
cent” material, with penalties of up to two 
years in prison and fines reaching 
$100,000. The White House also has 
announced that the Clinton Administration 
is working to add “prosecutorial tools” to 
the effort to wipe porn off the Internet. 

“Prosecutorial tools” are already 
sufficient to place Robert Thomas, 
proprietor of the Amateur Action 
Bulletin Board, behind bars for three 
years due to his on-line erotica. 

Robert Copella, a former vice-presi- 
dent of the Rand-McNally Corporation 
who later operated the Windy City 
Freedom Fortress BBS, is parked in a 
New Jersey jail, charged with federal 
child-pornography offenses. Current 
prosecutorial tools were enough to extra- 
dite Copella from Mexico. 

In September 1995, federal agents 
arrested a dozen people nationwide who 
had allegedly used AOL to exchange digi- 
tized photos of children ages 13 and 
younger engaged in sex acts. Prosecutorial 
tools allowed for the arrests even though 
the alleged trafficking had occurred via e- 
mail, which is protected as confidential by 
the federal Electronic Communications 
Privacy Act (ECPA). 

What, then, are the self-appointed 
guardians of the Net harping about? 

“Their concerns verge on the para- 
noid,” diagnoses Maxwell Charleston of 
Wired and Willful, a loose-knit alliance 
of computer-literate malcontents. 
“Censorship is never rational.” 

That the Internet has been spanned with 
lewd and lascivious linkups is no surprise. 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


\ 


Wi, 7 


“So that why Tyrannosaurus so mean.... Him can't jerk off.” 


internet Many of history’s greatest technological breakthroughs have led to inventive sex. 


The first printing press gave Renaissance man the Gutenberg Bible—soon followed by bawdy fuck manuals. 


“Radical politics and sexual fantasy 
are the first uses made of any new means 
of communication,” notes Gerard van der 


Leun in a special cyberspace issue of 


Time magazine. 

Many of history’s greatest technologi- 
cal breakthroughs have led to inventive 
sex. The first printing press gave 
Renaissance man the Gutenberg Bible— 
soon followed by bawdy fuck manuals. 
Photography was brand-new when an 
adventurous shutterbug pointed his cam- 
era at a naked lady sucking a cock. 
Erotic movies debuted in 1915, dating 
practically as far back as the medium 
itself. The sales of VCRs skyrocketed 
with the introduction of mass-access 
porn tapes, and the aim-and-shoot home- 
video camera has probably documented 
more pussies than it has bar mitzvahs. 

“Human beings are, and always have 
been, fascinated by sex,” concludes New 
York Law School professor Carlin 
Meyer in the Georgetown Law Journal. 

Meyer’s observation came in response to 
a “study” of sexual content on the Internet 
by Marty Rimm, a 30-year-old undergradu- 
ate at Carnegie Mellon University. Rimm’s 
breathy survey of images downloaded on 
the Internet, titled Marketing Pornography 
on the Information Superhighway, paints a 
lurid picture of an electronic landscape 


SWINE Tinedeze. 


smeared with filth for sale: “A crystal-clear 
image of a woman defecating into a man’s 
mouth.” “Brunette is on her knees! Sexy 
redhead fists her asshole!” “Mother watches 
daughter fuck herself with a screwdriver.” 

Among other questionable conclu- 
sions, Rimm asserts: “The disproportion 
of imagery depicting women engaged in 
acts that would be considered degrading 
in most communities can be definitively 
established.” 

“Disproportionate in relation to what 
proportions?” asks Wired and Willful’s 
Charleston. “Degrading as defined or 
experienced by whom? Marty Rimm’s 
idea of establishing a matter definitively 
is blurred by his wishful allegations.” 

Rimm was nonetheless assumed to have 
established the matter definitively by such 
concerned citizens as anti-smut crusader 
Catharine MacKinnon. MacKinnon, a pro- 
fessor of law at the Michigan Law School, 
reacted predictably to Rimm’s smirking, 
alarmist tone. 

“Pornography in cyberspace,” rants 
MacKinnon in a condemnatory screed 
accompanying the study, “is pornography 
in society—just broader, deeper, worse, 
and more of it.” 

The editors of Time magazine swal- 
lowed Rimm’s bait, emblazoning the 
cover of their July 3, 1995, issue with a 


, 


“And they say romance is dead...” 


98 


photo of a traumatized child, eyes agog 
in front of a computer screen. “CYBER- 
PORN EXCLUSIVE,” screamed the 
headline banner. “A new study shows 
how pervasive and wild it really is. Can 
we protect our kids—and free speech?” 

Time’s article accepted Rimm’s con- 
tention that cybersmut proves men prefer 
degrading pornography, and passed it 
along as gospel. And why not? Rimm 
himself had vouched for his own credi- 
bility. He claimed that his study was the 
first accurate account of smut-consumer 
tastes. Recording exactly what users 
downloaded, Rimm was not relying upon 
“the honesty of replies people give when 
surveyed about their sexual tastes,” 

Following publication of Time’s article, 
the Internet flared with posts assailing the 
study’s accuracy and reliability. Rimm’s 
study had claimed that “83.5% of all 
images posted on the Usenet are porno- 
graphic.” Cooler mathematicians compute 
that smut images represent only 3% of all 
messages on the Usenet, and less than half 
of 1% on the Internet as a whole. 
Furthermore, Rimm’s figures were based 
upon private bulletin boards that specialize 
in XXX and are legitimately accessible 
only to paying adult subscribers—posing 
little threat to children who might acciden- 
tally happen upon them. 

A background check of Marty Rimm 
revealed that in 1990 he had penned a 
sleazy novel about gambling on the New 
Jersey shore. The Internet posted cheesy 
snippets. (“‘I’m gonna go pump Nadah 
with my R.R. tonight.” “Your R.R.? 
What’s that, Rich?’ ‘Come on, get with 
it, Donny! That’s my rectum rocket!’”) 

Credibility limping, Rimm shot himself 
in the other foot by admitting that he had 
used the data from his Carnegie Mellon 
study toward an illustrated paperback 
titled The Pornographer’s Handbook: 
How to Exploit Women, Dupe Men and 
Make Lots of Money. The book was 
intended to show operators of adult bul- 
letin boards how to increase their profits. 
It seems that Rimm gained access to his 
porn purveyors by promising to improve 
their marketing techniques, then concoct- 
ed a study denouncing porn purveyors. 
This bait-and-switch routine was too 
much even for the Senate Judiciary 
Committee, which dropped Rimm as an 
expert witness from hearings on children 
and cyberpornography. 

ok * 
There’s no denying that the computer 
playground has enough sex for sale to 
keep the most ardent lap-top horndog 
tapping at his keyboard. 

(continued on page 108) 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


pissed!” 


now I’m really 


“Fuck! Broke a nail 


Marc.& Claire . 


Big-hearted Claire can never pass up a fellow human being in need. 

“I can't give you work, and I don’t have any food,” she apologizes to homeless Marc, 
“but I'll be happy to fill that empty space, if I can.” 

Uh-uh—that’s Marc’s job. He may be a bum, but he’s king of the load. 


Photography by Clive McLean 


internet 


Professor Meyer, 


“Phone sex marketing is ubiquitous,” 
states Jake Stern, a sex-talk operator from 
Orange, California. “Of course we’re tak- 
ing advantage of the Internet. Computer 
freaks want to get off just like anyone else. 
We take precautions that no kids get 
through. We don’t want that trouble.” 

Free masturbatory fodder is also 
plentiful. 

Ridgewood, New Jersey, accountant 
Greg D., an experienced and parsimonious 
browser, has downloaded a voluminous 
collection of images from the Internet, 
without fee—all while ostensibly toiling 
away at computer spreadsheets behind the 
closed door of his office. 

“There’s an entire Web site devoted to 
Anna Nicole Smith,” explains Greg. “My 
boss has an excellent printer; so the picture 
quality is almost as good as what’s in a 
magazine. There’s a community effort on 
the Net, with everyone pitching in to get 
new pictures of Anna Nicole Smith; so I’m 
always being shown something I might 
never have seen without the Internet.” 

Image-gathering teamwork is the force 
behind such lascivious websites as 
alt,sex.colostomy, alt.sex.bestiality, 


alt.sex.bestiality.barney and hundreds of 


other bizarro topics. 
“[{On the Internet,] you can, to a cer- 
tain degree, experience and understand 


lifestyles that you would never dream of 
trying in real life,” points out Gerard van 
der Leun. “And, of course, the safety of 
virtual sex is unparalleled.” 

“The Internet allows participants to 
compare real experiences and fantasy 
lives in anonymity and safety,” echoes 
Professor Meyer. “Porn is the only place 
people get a chance to look at sex. 
Indeed, sexual dysfunction among 
Americans generally is fostered by lack 
of open, honest discussion of sexuality.” 

Catharine MacKinnon, however, has 
an opposite take: “The question [posed] 
by pornography in cyberspace is the same 
as pornography poses everywhere else: 
whether anything will be done about it.” 

To support their argument, proponents 
of cyber censorship often cite horror sto- 
ries of women being harassed and 
stalked. In an infamous case last year, a 
University of Michigan sophomore 
named Jake Baker posted a rape-and-tor- 
ture fantasy on the a/t.sex.stories section 
of the Internet. Although Baker consider- 
ately prefaced his tale with a warning 
that it contained “sick stuff,” he made the 
mistake of naming the female victim 
after a classmate. A university alumnus 
who read the story complained to school 
officials, and Baker was arrested by the 
FBI and charged with using interstate 


(continued from page 98) 


“Cyberstalking and harassment may well occur [on the Net],” concedes 
“just as they can on streets. But surely they are safer on-screen than on streets.” 


communications to threaten to kidnap or 
injure another person. 

Baker’s indictment was eventually dis- 
missed by the U.S. District Court on the 
grounds that his words were a fantasy, 
not a threat, but the damage was done as 
far as MacKinnon was concerned. 

“Even though names are only words,” 
she writes in the Georgetown Law Review, 
“making pornography of a name was seen 
as part of doing real harm to a real per- 
son.... The point is: It took putting pornog- 
raphy in cyberspace to produce this.” 

Counters Professor Meyer: “Rather 
than focus on the few who harass, libel 
or stalk online, we should remember that 
any technology can be ill-employed, but 
that this one, in particular, offers what is 
probably the safest sex available.” 

Censorship advocates also point to a 
few highly publicized instances in which 
child molesters trolled in kid-themed 
chat rooms for victims, then arranged to 
meet and attack the children in person, 
But children are far more susceptible to 
pedophiles in a local park than on a com- 
puter network. 

“Cyberstalking and harassment may 
well occur [on the Net],” concedes 
Professor Meyer, “just as they can on 
streets. But surely they are safer on- 
screen than on streets.” 

Another concern is that children will be 
bombarded by X-rated images, but the 
same could happen any time a kid is out 
of his parent’s sight, if some freak wants 
to bombard the kid with porn. In 1957, 
Supreme Court Justice Felix Frankfurter 
wrote that the First Amendment does not 
allow a state “to reduce the adult popula- 
tion...to reading only what is fit for chil- 
dren.” As one Netter points out, referring 
to Senator Exon’s Decency Act, “It’s as if 
the manager of a Barnes and Noble book- 
store could be sent to jail simply because 
children were able to wander the store’s 
aisles and search for the racy passages in a 
Judith Krantz or Harold Robbins novel.” 

Separate from the issue of whether any- 
thing should be done to curtail cyberporn 
is the question of whether, logistically, 
anything can be done. Some conserva- 
tives feel that systems operators 
(SYSOPs) such as AOL, Prodigy and 
CompuServe should be held liable for 
keeping their networks clean. But holding 
the online services liable, says an AOL 
spokesperson, “would be like saying the 
US. Post Office is liable for child pornog- 
raphy sent through the mail.” 

AOL already lets parents block access 
to chat rooms, plans to extend that ability 
to e-mail, bulletin boards and data 

(continued on page 140) 


JANUARY HUSTLER 


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Chemicals 


government has stopped the attacks, 
given the copycat nature of terrorists. 

“Tokyo broke the ice,” asserts Dr. 
Anthony Fainberg of the U.S. Congress 
Office of Technology Assessment 
(OTA). “Terrorists will see it can be 
done and want to do it themselves.” 

* * * 
The Oklahoma City bombers killed their 
victims with an explosive device assem- 
bled at least as easily as sarin. They most 
likely used the readily available ingredi- 
ents ammonium nitrate and diesel fuel oil 
to concoct a homemade version of ANFO, 
a heavily regulated commercial explosive. 

“There are many materials that are used 
every day for legitimate purposes that can 
be combined to create improvised explo- 
sive mixtures,” explains Ralph Ostrowski, 
chief of the ATF’s arson and explosives 
division. “The ammonium nitrate found in 
commercial fertilizers can be purchased at 
any garden-supply or hardware store.” 

Farmers and mine operators use ammo- 
nium nitrate and ANFO regularly—the 
former as fertilizer and the latter to blow 
holes in mines. Construction crews also 
use explosive ANFO. 

Russell Seitz of Harvard University’s 
John M. Olin Institute for Strategic 
Studies believes that even these legiti- 
mate uses are unsafe. 

“The nation’s coasts and rivers play 
host on a daily basis to thousand-ton [ship- 
ments of] fertilizer,” says Seitz. “There is 
little to deter the hijacking of their tugs or 
the transfer of their cargoes, let alone 
defend the cities that they transit.” 

Demand for ammonium nitrate is so 
high, notes Seitz, the United States pro- 
duces nearly 8 million tons of the sub- 
stance every year. 

“Explosive power enough to refight 
World War II is on the loose,” he warns, 
“and the nuclear nonproliferation treaty 
is powerless even to address it.” 

U.S. Representative Billy Tauzin (D- 
Louisiana) believes that the government 
should consider preventive measures to 
protect its citizens. Tauzin, who chairs 
the House Subcommittee on Commerce, 
Trade and Hazardous Materials, held a 
hearing in May 1995 to explore how 
industry could reduce the explosive char- 
acteristics of ammonium-nitrate fertilizer. 

One of the witnesses at the hearing was 
Samuel Porter, a consultant to the chemi- 
cal industry. In 1968, Porter invented and 
patented a process of adding phosphate to 
ammonium nitrate to reduce the risks 
posed by the explosive. 

“Tt seemed to me that it would be nice to 
have an explosive grade monitored by the 
authorities, and a fertilizer grade destined 


HUSTLER JANUARY 


(continued from page 80) 


“Explosive power enough to refight World War Il is on the loose,” 
Seitz warns, “and the nuclear nonproliferation treaty is powerless even to address it.” 


for farming,” Porter said at the hearing. 

If the ammonium-nitrate makers had 
adopted Porter’s process years ago, 
Tauzin asserted, “they could have pre- 
vented the tragedy in Oklahoma City.” 

Manufacturers at the hearing dis- 
agreed. 

“We conducted demonstrations to 
show what scientists and the industry 
have known for years,” testified Joe 
Brawner of ICI Explosives USA. “There 
are no known additives that will render 
ammonium nitrate inert.” On the con- 
trary, ICI reported, adding phosphate, as 
Porter suggested, caused the fertilizer to 
ignite and blow up. 

Even if Porter’s invention worked, 
maintained the OTA’s Anthony Fainberg, 
who also testified at the hearing, terrorists 
could circumvent the tactic. 

“First, they could use old stocks of 
undesensitized explosives,” he noted. 
“Second, they might have access to manu- 
facturers, here or abroad, who do not com- 
ply with the requirement. Finally, they 
could manufacture their own explosives 
from easily obtainable raw materials that 
would be impractical to adulterate.” 

Another preventive option is to force 
manufacturers to use taggants; for exam- 
ple, require that they plant indestructible 
microscopic chips in potentially dangerous 


THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN A CLUB BUT WISH You WouLD 


chemicals. In the event of an explosion, 
authorities could recover the chip and pos- 
sibly determine the manufacturer, seller 
and even buyer. 

Explosives manufacturers, while 
agreeing that taggants merit study, 
pointed out several potential problems 
at a second hearing held in June 1995. 

“Commercially manufactured explo- 
sives, such as dynamites, water gels, slur- 
ries, ANFO and blasting agents, are used 
in 1% to 3% of bombing incidents that 
occur each year in the United States,” said 
Christopher Ronay, president of the 
Institute of Makers of Explosives, and for- 
merly chief of the FBI’s explosives unit. 
“The remaining 97% to 99% consists of 
homemade mixtures and commercial 
powders. In the overwhelming number of 
incidents, therefore, taggants would not 
have been involved.” 

The OTA’s Fainberg concurred: “The 
World Trade Center [terrorists] used urea 
and nitric acid, two extremely common 
chemical feedstocks that would be difficult 
to tag. Ammonium nitrate can be made 
from ammonia and nitric acid, and tagging 
ammonia would present like difficulties.” 

* * * 
Obtaining the chemicals necessary to build 
bombs and mount poison attacks is just the 

(continued on page 130) 


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(continued from page 68) 

He doesn’t have any ironclad cri- 
teria for selecting a mate. 

“The reality will be that I will say 
to myself, I want this, | want her, or 
whatever. Which is like if you’re 
shopping for a car, something will just 
hit you, and you say, I want that. 
There’s a certain kind of admiration 
for the guy who looks over a group 
and then can make his choice. It’s 
something like a dream; in a way, it’s 
a dream of mine. 


iM 


 RATESAMAY APPLY “Hey!” Greenspan ejaculates. “Do 
SSFIRST3.MIN | you want to meet her?” 
J aaj . ‘taive 
race \ He bounds up the carpeted stairs, 
ee making loud pidgin English sounds: 
ie : 


“SAY HELLO! SAY HELLO! 
FRIEND DOWNSTAIRS HELLO!” 
A bashful young thing peeks out 
behind a pillar. “SAY HELLO 
FRIEND!” 

“Ha-lo,” the girl squeaks, embar- 
rassed. 

“HELLO FRIEND! HE FRIEND, 
SEE! SAY HELLO FRIEND!” 
Greenspan turns toward me, shrugs. 
“She don’t know too good English.” 

* * * 
“You should have seen this Russian 
gal’s eyes when I took her into the 
Price Club,” recalls Ed Burden, the 
airline pilot. “Wide as saucers.” 

Jerry Perkins recounts an oft-told 
anecdote about how newly arrived 
Russian women, when visiting 
American stores, will throw every- 
thing they can grab into the shopping 
cart without regard for necessity, size 
or price. 

“It’s not that they’re greedy,” he 
points out. “By reflex, the gals hoard 
because they think the stuff won't be 
there even a few minutes later.” 

Dozens of marriages between East 
and West are currently under way, 
but there’s no telling how well the 
intercultural promiscuity will pan 
out. Perkins believes that Russian 
women will be less prone to divorce 
than their American counterparts. 

“They've been through a heck of a 
lot,” he says. “They'll be grateful for 
what they have over here.” 

“The gorgeous women over here 
wouldn’t give me a shot,” admits 
David Greenspan. “Not so in Russia. 
I’m anxious to get over there and get 
it signed, sealed, delivered before it 
becomes too well known. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t be talking to 
you,” he worries. “When there’s a 
buyer’s market, you’re not too anx- 
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sa _ Cyndi lives in Crittenden, Kentucky, and worke in 
a Beaver. The stunning Fort Lauderdale, Florida, agers distribution, She’s 25 encom lin ne wor i 
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NEW 1D LAWS —SEE DETAILS BE L OW "consideration of $250,1-hereby-give HUSTLER. Magazine,.its 

affiliates, successors and assigns, and those acting under its 
To enter HUSTLER Beaver Hunt you must fill out and send this release and COPIES OF TWO FORMS OF ID, ONE WITH PHOTO (i.e., driver's permission or upon its authority, full worldwide rights and exclu- 
license, passport, work or school ID card or photo ID issued by state). Second ID can be birth certificate, Social Security card, credit card, sive permission in perpetuity to copyright and/or publish any 
marriage certificate or immigration card. Send photocopies, not originals. Send two or more sharply focused color prints or slides. Showing photographs of myself with or without my name and to make any 
pink is optional at entry stage. All photos become the unreturnable property of HUSTLER Magazine, which buys all rights in perpetuity to changes or any additions whatsoever to such photographs, por- 
photos we publish. If we publish your photo, you'll win $250 and a chance to be chosen for an extended pictorial worth $5,000. Send photos, traits or any of the above information, whether true or fictional | 
IDs and release to HUSTLER Beaver Hunt, 8484 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211 understand that editorial matter will accompany these photos 
PLEAS E BLURS SE Nd and that my photographs can be published in other affiliated 

magazines. | certify that | am of full age and am possessed of full 


Model's name Hobbies legal capacity to execute the foregoing authorization. 


Any alias, nickname, stage or pro name WARNING: ANYONE SIGNING THIS RELEASE 
FORM OTHER THAN THE MODEL WILL BE 


to be | _ ~~ ””””””~«C« Bacal Fantasies (Include separate sheet fl necessary) SUBJECT TO MONETARY DAMAGES AND/OR 
__ Name to be published oes 7 ; motiaronaae CRIMINAL PROSECUTION. 
Date of birth Phone (include area code) | DECLARE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY 
THAT ALL OF THE INFORMATION | HAVE 
Model's social security number GIVEN ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT. 
Address Photographer 
City y State Zip Address 


Le Se ers 


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A dancer from Akron, Ohio, P. J. could pack any hous 
The beautiful blonde stays in excellent shape by aiatinal 
Working on her house and, of course, having lots of sek 
She would like to turn a barroom threesome into a sind 
orgy. A scene worth checking out. 


Photo by Fiance 


Chico, California, is home to Catwoman, a 21-year-old exotic 
dancer who doesn’t pussyfoot around when it comes to her 
sexual proclivities. Deep throating and having her fur petted 
make her purr. She'd like to play the role of bat cave to Val 
Kilmer and Chris O’Donnell while her husband films them. 
Will there be a TV version? 


Photo by Husband 


, Ppin x fi ‘ 
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Ifilled eve 
er man as €d not on] ~ “YES. Adorable ; 
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Roxanne is a 27-year-old homemaker living in Quinlan, 
Texas. Her hobbies include home decorating, going to 
flea markets, camping and making love outdoors. Her 

fantasy is “to get it on with two other women.” 
Roxanne’s only request: that they have beautiful pussies. 
It’s what’s inside that counts. 


Photo by Fiance 


With asmi : 
smile that co 
SEs uld P 
oa and a “come hith, = 
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to her sex 
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d of entertainment to 


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in Fort Lauderdale, orida, 20-ye 
has a face and body to justify any 
drink minimum. Her time Is occuple 
more sex,” and she will be satisfied w 
sex in a stadiu 
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An endearing grin and a bushy muff set 
Melba apart from her Beaver Hunt 
competitors. After a hard day at the 
factory, the 27-year-old from Lebanon, 
Missouri, likes to unwind with exercise 
and water sports. Never boring, 
Melba’s ideal sexual encounter would 
be in the back of a truck going down 
the interstate. Ride on. 

Photo by Friend 


new heights 
-old Shawna 
ver charge or 
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ler of good fortu i 

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Oceanside. ioral 
* r.occupation as “% 

ars young, and making @ 

atigues as the next thi 

( : xt thing 

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once. They go everywhere first. © 


A insie California, and lists he 
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, great strides in introducing fi 
in lingerie 


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ee 


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A student from Chicago, Illinois, Jennifer looks good in heels, 
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in front of her fiance. Don’t forget to send pictures. 
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in sar-old barkeep enjoys P ' 

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first step for would-be terrorists. Step two 
is gaining the technical knowledge needed 
to build and use the weapon of choice— 
and this, too, is distressingly simple. 

“How to make chemical explosives is 
well known,” maintains the ATF’s Les 
Stanford. “Any high-school kid with a 
knowledge of chemicals can make an 
explosive. If you want the information, it 
is out there.” 

Hundreds of books are available that 
contain instructions on building bombs 
and other weapons of destruction. Two 
of the most popular titles are The 
Anarchist’s Cookbook and Poor Man's 
James Bond, which cover such topics as 
making pipe bombs, gas-tank bombs, 
grenades and impact-ignition fire bombs. 

Also available to would-be terrorists is 
the Improvised Munitions Handbook, 
which comes in three volumes and was 
originally developed for the Central 
Intelligence Agency and U.S. Special 
Forces troops. 

Many of these titles are available from 
Loompanics Unlimited of Port 
Townsend, Washington. The OTA’s 
Anthony Fainberg also cites Delta Press 
of El Dorado, Arizona, as a source of “a 
large catalog of weapons of destruction.” 
Available through Delta is a book called 


Chemicals 


Assorted Nasties, which includes infor- | 


thinking 
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(continued from page 111) 


“We have the right to publish books about explosives. People read the 
Bible and find something in there that tells them to blow away abortion providers. Should they stop selling Bibles?” 


mation on making “home brewed” nerve | 


gas. By simply calling Delta’s toll-free 
number, Fainberg was able to get a copy 
of Delta’s catalog sent to his government 
office with no questions asked. 

Fainberg attributes sales of these books 
to “an incredible increase in the member- 
ship of militias over the past two years.” 

“T personally kind of doubt that militia 
members are buying from us,” maintains 
Dennis Eichhorn, editorial director of 
Loompanics. “It’s hard to say who is 
buying them. All we know is the name 
because we take orders over the phone or 
through the mail.” 

Eichhorn expresses no moral qualms 
about selling books with instructions for 
making dangerous and destructive devices. 

“I’m not worried about people using 


these books to build bombs,” he declares. | 


“There are plenty of other sources for this 
kind of material. You can open up the 
Encyclopedia Britannica and find the 
recipe for explosives, or get a government 
manual. I know of 300 books in print on 
how to make explosives. The best recipes 
are in government publications.” 
Would-be bomb makers can indeed 
consult The New Encyclopedia Britannica 
(15th edition, published in 1994) and find 
seven pages on the history and composi- 


formula for how ANFO is “almost univer- 
sally prepared.” The section on plastic 
explosives even furnishes the temperature 
range necessary to maintain effectiveness. 

The information superhighway also 
serves as a source for this know-how. 
Directions for producing deadly weapons 
have been posted on bulletin boards on 
the Internet. Fainberg noted one that uses 
the name Patriot. 

Nothing can be done to restrict access 
to this information. “Not as long as we 
have a First Amendment,” points out the 
ATF’s Les Stanford. 

Along with easy access to information 
through the local library and the Internet, 
Stanford notes that “hundreds of people 
have gone through the armed forces” and 
“learned how to make explosive devices.” 

Echoes Eichhorn, “The U.S. Army 
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This is done with no regard for what kind 
of people they are or their problems.” 

As for censorship, he says, “We have 
the right to publish books about explo- 
sives. People read the Bible and find 
something in there that tells them to blow 
away abortion providers. Should they 
stop selling Bibles?” 

* * * 
Domestic fringe groups with murder on 
their minds and access to how-to books 
may pose a threat, but they are not the 
only ones employing chemical weapons. 

Until 1994, the Pentagon maintained 
that Iraq had not used chemical weapons 
during the Persian Gulf War. However, a 
report by Czech chemical-warfare experts 
found that allied troops in northern Saudi 
Arabia had twice detected sarin and a 
mustard agent. Since the end of the war, 
thousands of American veterans of the 
conflict have reported a wide variety of 
ailments of unknown origin, from cancers 
to constant fatigue. 

And in August 1995, to protect itself 
from possible reputation-bruising revela- 
tions following the defection of 
Lieutenant General Hussein Kamel 
Majid to Jordan, Iraq submitted data to 
the United Nations (UN) revealing pro- 
grams of mass destruction—including 
chemical weapons—that were much 
larger and more advanced than previ- 
ously suspected. The nation claimed that 
the information hadn’t been reported to 
the UN earlier because it had been under 
the control of Majid. 

Currently languishing in the U.S. 
Congress is the Chemical Weapons 
Convention (CWC), which would ban 

(continued on page 140) 


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Chemicals 


(continued from page 130) 


production and sale of chemical 
weapons and mandate elimination of 
existing stockpiles. Additionally, the 
treaty establishes an agency to record, 
monitor and verify movement of sensi- 
tive chemicals between and within coun- 
tries. Military facilities and chemical 
plants would be subject to inspection if 
violations are suspected. 

While nearly 160 countries have signed 
the treaty, less than 30 have ratified it. 
Critics question how much difference the 
treaty would make. 

Douglas Feith, a former Reagan 
Administration official who worked on 
chemical-weapons arms control, argues 
that “the convention’s elaborate and 
intrusive reporting and verification 
provisions will impose major burdens 
on law-abiding nations like the United 
States. They will not, however, con- 
strain any party whose legal scruples 
are less powerful than its desire for 
chemical weapons.” 

Despite Feith’s skepticism, the chemi- 
cal industry supports the convention. 

“The treaty is the best means avail- 
able to prevent legitimate chemicals 
from falling into the wrong hands,” says 
Fred Webber, president of the Chemical 
Manufacturers Association (CMA). 
“Honest businesses have nothing to fear. 


Anyone with other motives will run the 
risk of getting caught in the act.” 

Clinton Administration attempts to 
gain Senate approval for the convention 
failed last year, and with isolationist 
Senator Jesse Helms (R-North Carolina) 
now chairing the Foreign Relations 
Committee, the issue is not even expected 
to come up for debate. 

As a Republican source says, “What 
happened in Tokyo just underscores the 
sheer uselessness of this agreement and 
how unverifiable it is.” 

* ok * 

Is the horror experienced in Japan and 
Oklahoma City isolated and random, or 
a preview of the future? Even if the 
chemicals in question were strictly regu- 
lated, would that eliminate the potential 
for mass terrorism at the hands of small, 
irresponsible fringe groups? 

In May 1995, Columbus, Ohio, police 
arrested a septic-tank inspector named 
Larry Wayne Harris. By falsely claim- 
ing that he owned a laboratory, Harris 
had allegedly bought three freeze-dried 
cultures of the bacteria that causes 
bubonic plague. He maintained that he 
was working on a book about bubonic 
plague antidotes. A search of Harris’s 
home uncovered a membership certifi- 
cate for the Aryan Nations. @& 


—— — 


Se RT 


“Fantastic. We'll make a fortune with him as a Rush Limbaugh look-alike.” 


140 


Internet 


(continued from page 108) 


libraries and has 30 full-time employees 
who monitor live chat. For now, the 
ECPA prevents the services from reading 
private messages—such as the ones used 
by the FBI to crack down on the alleged 
child-porn collectors last September. 

David Post, a visiting professor at 
Georgetown University’s law school, 
sympathizes with the services, “They're 
really caught in a tough bind. There’s a 
notion that if you exercise editorial con- 
trol at all, then you are responsible for 
what slips through.” 

The services might more fairly be 
treated like telephone companies, which 
bear no responsibility for phone conver- 
sations. With millions of messages sent 
each day, the services can’t possibly 
monitor everything. 

Senator Exon is not convinced, “If I felt 
{the Decency Act] might complicate my 
ability to make money on the superhigh- 
way, that’s the argument I would make.” 

* * * 

The test for obscenity is based upon a 
violation of community standards. If 
Senator Exon’s bill or some similar law 
is passed, can SYSOPs be expected to 
determine community standards through- 
out the country? What legally constitutes 
a community—A state? A county? A 
city? A municipality? A three-block 
radius? What if cyberspace is a commu- 
nity in and of itself, worldwide in scope, 
a free aggregate of human minds, subject 
to its own standards? 

The purveyors of Amateur Action 
Billboard of Milpitas, California, were 
tried and sentenced in Tennessee after 
their images were downloaded by a gov- 
ernment employee there. The materials 
may have been judged not obscene by 
the community standards of Milpitas, 
California. 

“[Community standards] means noth- 
ing can be put on the Internet that is 
more racy than would be tolerated in the 
most conservative community in the 
United States,” declares Robert Peck, 
legislative counsel for the American 
Civil Liberties Union. 

* * 
Ultimately, no matter what laws are 
passed, consenting adults are going to 
find ways to show and tell whatever 
they want. The sheer number of people 
on the Net, and the lack of a true inter- 
mediary, ensures that they can’t all be 
regulated—except by themselves. As 
Jeffrey Rosen optimistically notes in the 
New Yorker, “As control shifts to the 
speakers and listeners themselves, politi- 
cians will find it harder to use their 
power to stifle speech.” @& 


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SERIES 636: 6 HOURS, 36 SCENES! 
VOLUMES 08 09010 011 912 013 


RESEL CHEERLEADER 09401506 oO7 O08 OW 920 


City 


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SE f) \ 5 Al 
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5. “BITCH” — Despite the title, Deborah is really easy to please - as long as she 
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7. "BLACK FIRE” ~ It's hotter than “white hot" - it's cock-devouring black bitches, 
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13. “WAY INSIDE LEE CARROLL” — Oider and bolder, wetter and better ~ it's the 
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14, “FULL THROTTLE GIRLS” - The Biker Girls whose motors roar with hot, throb- 
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16. “CONFESSIONS OF A SLUTTY NURSE” — She gives the term “head nurse” new 
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17. “INCOCKNITO™ - The horny hackers who crave computer sex will do anything 
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19. “SHE'S THE BOSS” — in this company, it’s the boss who takes “dictation,” and 
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20. “DOUBLE PENETRATION GIRLS” ~ Two cocks are better than one ~ especial- 
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21, “SILK ELEGANCE” — Rough fucking and the satin-cunted ladies who special- 
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22. “AFTER MIDNIGHT” - Hickory, Dickory, Dock; these bitches are starving for 
cock!! At the “stroke” of midnight, these virginal vampires drink cum instead of 
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23. “DETERMINATOR 2” — She has “cum” to annihilate sexual boredom — once 
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24. “WOMEN'S PENITENTIARY” ~ The world of women behind bars, who give 
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25. “AMBITIOUS BLONDES” — Don Fernando is your host for a tour through some 
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PRICES HAVE BEEN 


26. “ENCINO WOMEN” ~ She's prehistoric woman with a primitive hunger for an 
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r 
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Sexual 
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How to order them 
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February HUSTLER on sale December 19, 1995 


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Healthier than a box of chocolates, HUSTLER is the gift to give yourself this 
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Compared to an unwanted pregnancy or a premature death, donning a little 
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Generally believed to be a crime perpetrated exclusively in prison, male rape of 
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Bits © Pieces reveals what Calvin Klein couldn’t; Hot Letters makes horny 
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