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WARNING: Material is of an adult nature. This literature is not intended for minors, and under no circumstances are they to view
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24
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| 164
VOLUME 24 NUMBER 1
Bits & Pieces
Hillary “Rod Ham” Clinton: Lap Dancer
Edited by Aaron Lee
Rum Demon
The Original HUSTLER Remembers
Where His Empire Began
Autobiography by Larry Flynt
Feedback
Our Readers Write On
Sadie: Ranch Handler
Beaver Hunt Grand Prize Winner 1996
Photography by Clive McLean
Erotic Entertainment
The 1996 X-Rated Critics Awards
Edited by Evan Wright
Hot Letters
The Holy Bondage of Matrimony
Sex Play
When Lenny Met Larry
Historical Recollection
by Charlotta Honeysuckle
Annie and Kris:
Lust Ward
Photography by Matti Klatt
The Burden
of Bad Dreams
One American's Terrifying Defeat
at the Hands of the Thought Cops
Report by Laura Kipnis
Rebecca:
Belle on Wheels
Photography by Clive McLean
Rachel: Roughing It
Centerfold Photography by Clive McLean
HUSTLER Humor
Edited by Scott Smith
A Flesh Queen Cometh
Elska, Live at the World’s Greatest
Porn Convention
Profile by Evan Wright
Rick and Kim:
Bank Jobbers
Photography by Matti Klatt
Beaver Hunt
Sample Our Local Favorites
Mindy:
Wishing for a King-Size
Photography by Joanie Allum
HUSTLER Online
http://www.hustler.com
HUSTLER
LARRY FLYNT
editor and publisher
JIM KOHLS
president
DONNA HAHNER
corporate vice-president
ALLAN MacDONELL
executive editor
W. T. NELSON
art director
AARON LEE
bits & pieces editor
EVAN WRIGHT
entertainment editor
DYLAN FORD, DAVID GORDON,
SCOTT SMITH
associate editors
DWAINE TINSLEY
cartoon editor
RACHEL STRATTON
research director
PHILIP SANGUINET, copy chief
M. R. SMITH, copy editor
T. SWANSON, editorial assistant
COMPUTER GRAPHICS
ANDREA LANDRUM, network systems manager
BRANDON S. PHILLIPS,
network systems administrator
SHERMAN JORDAN, MARIE B. QUIROS,
network systems operators
PHOTOGRAPHY
ELIZABETH BERRIOS, talent coordinator
JAMES BAES, MATT! KLATT
CLIVE McLEAN, LADI VON JANSKY,
photographers
KENNETH DeMARTINES, production designer
LAURA CODON, photo/talent assistant
JAYNE CATES, studio director
CAMILLE GARCIA, photo editor
PRODUCTION
KRISTINA ETCHISON, production manager
MICHELLE EVANS.
LARRY C. FLYNT JR., JANE TUNKS
production assistants
CHARLENE LOVE, record keeper/film archivist
ADVERTISING
ALLEN MAINE, national acivertising director
(213) 951-7907
GINA J. LEE, advertising production director
SUBSCRIPTIONS
TRISH HAMM, subscriptions director
subscriptions customer service (815) 734-1142
THOMAS CANDY, executive vice-president
PERRY GRAYSON, vice-president, advertising
FRANCESCA SCALFPI,
vice-president, multimedia systerns
DAVID WOLINSKY, vice-president, finance
HUSTLER (ISSN-0149-4635), Vol. 24, No, 1, July 1997. The U.S. edition of
HUSTLER is published monthly with one exception, twice a month in
August, by L.F.P., Inc. at 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly Hills,
CA 90211. Copyright ® 1997 LF.P., Inc. All rights reserved. Nothing may be
reproduced in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher.
Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, photos, drawings, etc., if
they are to be returned, and no responsibility can be assumed for unsolicit-
ed material. Letters sent to HUSTLER will be treated as unconditionally
assigned for publication and copyright purposes and as subject to
HUSTLER's right to edit and comment editorially. Any similarity between
persons and places depicted in the fiction sections of this magazine and
actual persons or places is purely coincidental. All photos posed by profes-
sional models except as otherwise noted, Neither said photos nor words
used to describe them are meant to depict models’ actual conduct, state-
ments or personalities, Information concerning models who appear in this
publication is located at 484 Wilshire Boulevard, Beverly Hills, California
90211, under the supervision of Charlene Love.
SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION: For subscription customer service, cell (815)
734-1142. U.S. subscriptions: $39.95 for one year (12 issues), Foreign subscrip-
tions; Add $10.00 U.S, funds per year. Single copy, U.S, Edition: $5.99;
International Edition: $6.99 (add $1 postage per copy); Special Edition: $6.99.
These prices represent HUSTLER’s standard subscription rate and should not
be confused with specis! subscription offers sometimes advertised. Change of
address: Allow six weeks’ advance notice and send in both your old and new
address. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to: HUSTLER, P.O. Box 474,
Mt. Morris, I 61054. Periodicals postage paid at Beverly Hills, CA, and at addi-
tional mailing offices. Printed in the USA. HUSTLER is registered in the U.S.
Patent and Trademark Office.
All nude models are 18 years of age or older,
Cover photo by Matti Klatt
Hollywood is movie land, a make-
believe kingdom of pretend reality, a
mythical realm where the hopes and
passions that unite all humanity are
turned, as if by magic, into shit.
The Oscar reigns like a graven
image over this slumberland of
optioned dreams. A shiny, stunted
eunuch, plated the color of money,
Oscar rules and rewards the highest
aspirations of the American film
industry and is a fitting recipient for
HUSTLER's Asshole of the Year
The Academy of Motion Picture
Arts and Sciences has 5,227 voting
members. These elite 5,227 are the
ruling demigods who determine
which movies of any given year are
nominated for the prized Oscar
statuettes. Surely, some portion of
that esteemed aggregate has its
own brain, with which it makes its
own decisions. But too many in the
pantheon are sheep in deities’
clothing.
In the 1950s, the House Un-
American Activities Committee
staged a witch-hunt for supposed
Communists, This unjustified perse-
cution set off one of Hollywood's
ugliest, most shameful episodes.
Tinseltown shit weasels, from
actors to studio chiefs, turned on
one another in a frenzy of betrayal.
Difficult talent was framed and
thrown to Senator Joe McCarthy for
public grilling.
Many daring creative artists
were put on blacklists and denied
work. These blacklists were drawn
up by elite members of the
Hollywood film industry. No accu-
rate count exists of how many
Academy members were instrumen-
tal in maintaining the blacklists.
The Academy has no more guts
than it had during the Red scare
Gloria Steinem prints false allega-
tions about HUSTLER, and The
People vs. Larry Flynt, an epic, true
tale of triumph and tragedy, a
wrenching love story, a complex,
honest look at troubling realities, is
denied nominations, shafted in favor
of a fairy tale about showing money.
On the eve of the 69th Annual
Academy Awards, Columbia Pictures
informed Larry Flynt that he would
not be attending the ceremony,
despite earlier promises that he
would be their honored guest. The
very company that had congratulated
itself on its own courage in produc-
ing the historical film of Larry's life
now participated in a backlash as
ugly as any blacklist.
Through the intervention of an
anonymous Academy member, Flynt
was granted a ticket. The fossils of
the Motion Picture Arts and
Sciences, the young ones and the
old ones alike, responded with dis-
gust. Why must Larry Flynt attend
and embarrass everybody?
These Academy Award people
show no capacity for embarrass-
ment. These people, with their red-
ribbon activism and their monumen-
tally self-indulgent egos, present
themselves as a moral compass for
America and the world. These
champions of vulgarity and crass
consumption claim to be the arbiters
for what is decent and inspiring
The Hollywood factory cranks out
crap. The process degrades every
valuable human experience to the
level of cheap entertainment and
largely fails to entertain. The
Hollywood movie is a rotting medium,
a commercial fakery, further from
being an art form every year
Hollywood is in the business of
lying. Spurred by false motives, the
studios sell false stories with false
moralities and false endings. Greed
and test audiences have destroyed
the art of storytelling, a sacred tra-
dition by which we pass on our
values, our identities, how we
define our reality and invest our
lives with purpose and meaning
Having reduced a miraculous
advance in communication—the
motion picture—to a sentiment-
drenched form of merchandising,
Hollywood's cultural parasites mas-
querade as if they represent a force
for truth and freedom.
An honest picture has slim
chance of survival. Hollywood is a
world of flat, two-dimensional char-
latanism, a false front that cannot
withstand scrutiny. Any movie that
demands a harsh look at hard truths
will be reflexively shunned by the
Hollywood phonies.
Although driven by vanity, Oscar
is loathe to look in the mirror, unless
the reflective surface is lit for spe-
cial effects
Ever since The People vs. Larry
Flynt premiered, Hollywood's
shitheels have honored themselves
for making a movie about a “scum-
bag.” Let the prick who is without
sleaze be the first to call scumbag.
Oscar is a silent Asshole.
This low-watt
egghead wrote a stupid rehash-
ing of several flawed arguments
against the motion picture The
People vs. Larry Flynt. Frankel
had his borrowed opinions printed
without attribution in the New
York Times Magazine. One of his
few original contentions is that
Heil Hitler, America! Neo-Nazi
Christians and Their Quest for an
Aryan Nation, a feature article
from HUSTLER’s March 1997
issue, is an example of “the
vilest prose masquerading as
reportage,” “palpable fictions...
slyly designed to stimulate fan-
tasies...of skinhead brutalities.”
Frankel, wrench your nose out of
Steinem’s butt and read this vile
prose: You’re an Asshole.
Joanna Pacitti is the poor child
who was a rising star in the 2O0th-
anniversary production of Annie
until the show’s producers fired
her. Why does the 12-year-old
show-biz brat choose to relive her
weepy trauma on Rosie O’Don-
nell’s talk show and risk being
eaten by the hostess? Because
Mom and Dad are Assholes.
HUSTLER
a)
July
bits & pieces
It Takes a Spillage
When Bill Clinton gouged Asian
businessmen for campaign contri-
butions, he raised several million
dollars and rotsa ruckus. A new
ILLEGITIMATE 4]
NEWBORN
DROP-OFF Boy
fRovipep
GHETTO SERUICES, Wig,
Se
-_—
TO
WN
HUSTLER
6 July
round of inter-Oval Office memos
reveals $27 million in donations
from fat cats in exchange for a
White House sleep over. If an invi-
tation sent to HUSTLER is any
indication, the sticky-fingered
President has found a new way to
combine his very special interests.
PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. FIRST LADY'S HEAD STRIPPED ONTO OUR STRIPPER’S BODY
A holier-than-thou production of The Sound of
Music features a few of HUSTLER’s favorite
things—which proves old habits never die.
Praise and $150 be to P. Marshall for a second-to-nun submission.
Got any dirty pictures as old as Christ? Send smut to HUSTLER’s
“Porn From the Past,” 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900,
Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Include a self-addressed, stamped enve-
lope if you want the material returned.
ATED IT ENTIRELY
C
FABRI
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E WERENT
RTUNATELY, W
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AD PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, SHVEINHUNT.
‘HOWARD STERN
CLONED!
FLUE OF A KIND
He’s conquered radio, television, movies—and now
test tubes. Scientists have successfully cloned the
woolly, bleating animal known as Howard Stern.
The results are pictured above, although it may be
difficult for readers to differentiate between the
original King of All Labia and his carbon copy.
Here’s a clue—Howard’s the ugly one.
LET THE AUSCHSWISS WRISTWATCH
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BERLIN * AUSTRIA * PARIS
bits & pieces
KIDDER
LAWRENCE
YOU
He's prone to stand in the middle
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incoherent obscenities at
passersby while wielding a loaded
gun. She enjoys cutting off her
hair, knocking out her teeth and
living in a cardboard box for days
on end. Their crazy antics will
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CRAZY!
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xon’s Last Prediction
if
Jeane D
3 HEADS STRIPPED ONTO OUR MODELS’ BODIES
Once again, Newt Gingrich has fucked over the
American people. This time he skimmed into tax-
exempt donations and lied his fat ass off to the
House Ethics Committee. Although Congress voted
to slap the Republican windbag with a $300,000
fine, HUSTLER has a far stiffer sanction in mind:
Get Candace Gingrich, an avowed lesbian, to ram
her strap-on in brother Newt’s poop chute and ride oinecren 8Y FREDERICO FELLINGUS
him around Congress like a soft-belly pony. Now [GP [GUSHING PUSSIES ADMITTED FREE]
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July HUSTLER 9
PS Fa
WHAT SORT OF HUSTLER READS HUSTLER?
He’s a complicated man who takes a shine to life’s finer things. Ice-T is a player with many roles—fly gangster, sex rapper and murder
rocker. Now Ice-T’s controversial hard-core band, Body Count, has released their third album of music to fuck shit up by, titled Violent
Demise: The Last Days (Virgin Records). Many try to keep Body Count off the streets, but they never stop hustling...and @
they never stop reading HUSTLER. Ice-T salutes 23 years of America’s Magazine selling that ass. (Source: 1997 July LFP.)
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« 3ARUME
DEMON
The Original HUSTLER Remembers the
Rough-and-Tumble Bar Business Where His Empire Began
AUTOBIOGRAPHY BY LARRY FLYNT
ILLUSTRATION BY ALEX EBEL
In this excerpt from An Unseemly Man: My Life as Pornographer,
Pundit, and Social Outcast (Los Angeles: Dove, 1996), Larry Flynt
recounts the boozessoaked, bare-knuckled days before HUSTLER when
guts and hillbilly d6ggedness puthim on-the road to fame and wealth.
. gues Fat
aati gan oe
i are
ay
In early 1965, 22-year-old Larry Flynt
made an $1,800 down payment on a
Dayton, Ohio, dive called the Keewee.
His first order of business was to trans-
form the place into a “knock-down-drag-
out country joint.” Hank Williams, Roy
Acuff and Johnny Cash blared from the
juke, and hicks laid bets on horseshoes
out back. Christened the Hillbilly Haven,
Flynt’s first bar drew rowdy crowds from
miles around and earned him enough
capital to open Larry’s Hangover Tavern
across town. A third watering hole, the
Factory, was soon to follow. The beer
flowed freely, and so did the blood. “I
was aiming to serve a blue-collar clien-
tele,” Flynt writes. “When they got
drunk, they liked to fight.” The burgeon-
ing entrepreneur found himself breaking
up two or three slugfests a week—one
involving his own mother—to protect his
investments and save his liquor licenses.
For Flynt, surviving Dayton’s cutthroat
bar business meant risking his own neck,
literally, As he reveals in the following
excerpt from An Unseemly Man: My Life
as Pornographer, Pundit, and Social
Outcast, Larry Flynt learned never to
back down long before HUSTLER put
him in the line of fire.
* * *
As the months went by, it seemed
more and more likely that I would be
killed by one of my customers. There
were fights all the time. I had to cultivate
a “don’t fuck with me” reputation just to
survive. One of those customers—a
potential killer—was a tough guy named
Roger Pack. Roger had been dating a
woman named Mona off and on, and
Mona was the owner of a bar in competi-
tion with the Hangover Tavern. Roger
was a merciless, mean-spirited bar
brawler. One night he and his two
brothers, Earl and John, came into the
Hangover Tavern. I was tending bar
across town at Hillbilly Haven. The
Hangover Tavern was packed—in stark
contrast to Mona’s. Roger and his broth-
ers had decided to “promote” Mona’s
business by thinning out the crowd at my
tavern, They came prepared. All three
carried lead pipes, and as they walked in,
they started to swing them indiscrimi-
nately, hitting people on the head and
knocking them to the floor. It was mind-
less, brutal violence against women, old
men—whoever happened to be within
reach. After a few minutes of utter chaos,
the hoodlums left. The bar was a bloody
mess of injured, broken people, many
lying in pools of blood. There were some
nice folks who came in to the Hangover
Tavern, good-hearted average Joes. They
were beaten senseless. I was sick to my
stomach when I heard about it.
I decided not to go out looking for
16
The Birth of a HUSTLER
2
n
Larry in front of the Hustler Club, in Dayton, Ohio.
July
HUSTLER
‘
Larry at age I1 with his brother,
Jimmy, age 5.
Larry and his mom in Dayton.
indi
Larry with Althea Flynt in the club days.
the Packs. I was mad as hell—so mad I
knew I would kill them. If I took them
down on their own turf, it would look
premeditated, and I’d go to jail for mur-
der. But as it happened, I didn’t have to
find them. They found me. A few nights
later Roger, Earl and John sauntered
into the Hangover Tavern and sat down
at the bar. The unmitigated, stupid arro-
gance of those assholes! They had
busted up my place on the previous
Saturday, and they thought they could
just walk in a week later as if nothing
had happened. They ordered drinks in a
tone that implied, “Get your ass in gear,
Flynt.” I thought I was going to
explode, but I didn’t say anything.
I knew there was going to be a fight,
and I quickly collected my thoughts.
There was a small plastic bucket at the
waitresses’ station at the end of the bar.
We used it to put bottle caps in. I walked
down and emptied a handful of caps into
the bucket, trying to appear nonchalant.
Then I picked up the bucket, leaned
behind the bar, and discreetly slipped my
.38 snub-nose inside. They didn’t notice.
They were too busy congratulating
themselves on what badasses they were.
With my hand on the pistol and the pis-
tol in the bucket, I casually walked up to
Earl, the one closest to me, and called his
name. When he turned, I hit him square
in the face with the gun. I hit him so hard
the trigger guard bent and crushed my
finger, pinching a chunk of flesh out of
it. I didn’t notice the pain. Earl sat
stunned and glassy-eyed, blood trickling
down his nose. I hit him a second time.
John and Roger jumped up and started
for me. I pointed the pistol at them and
shouted, “Sit down, you motherfuckers,
or I'll blow your heads off!” They
slowly sank to their seats. I hit Earl a
third time. And a fourth. He was still sit-
ting upright on the stool, blank-faced, his
reptilian brain unable to respond. He was
a mute, motionless, easy target. He was
also a worthless piece of shit and
deserved every blow. I hit him one more
time and gave him a little shove with the
end of the barrel. He fell backward to the
floor. “Get the fuck out of here and take
him with you!” I shouted to his brothers.
“If I ever see you in here again, I'll kill
you.” After they left, I noticed my bleed-
ing finger was still stuck in the guard. I
couldn’t have pulled the trigger if I had
wanted to.
My run-in with the Pack brothers
was a watershed for me. You had to
treat hoodlums with a firm hand if you
wanted to stay in the bar business. But
the violence was wearing me down.
I'd had too many close calls. I decided
to upgrade my business and appeal to
a higher class of people. My first
experiment in an upscale establish-
ment was my fourth place, a bar |
bought on north Main Street and
named Whatever’s Right.
Whatever’s Right was the first club I
owned that featured hostesses who
danced. I screened dozens of women
and hired twelve of the best looking. I
wanted them to be the centerpiece of a
posh cocktail lounge, an elegant little
place with a good sound system and
popular music. There were a lot of guys
who liked to go to a club and grind a girl
on the dance floor. I wanted a mix of
good dance tunes from fast rock ’n’ roll
to slow, sexy stuff. The whole idea was
to appeal to lonely men, middle-aged
and up, in a controlled environment.
I set strict policies for the hostesses.
The first rule was, “Never ask a man to
buy you a drink, but never turn one
down.” I instructed the barmaids to pour
the hostesses’ drinks short so they didn’t
have to worry about getting drunk. The
second rule was, “Ask the guy to
dance.” The scenario I envisioned was
this: A guy walks in, sits down, orders a
drink, and gets it; the hostess returns a
little later and asks, “Excuse me, sir, but
could I have this dance?” I thought it
would blow guys away. It did.
The club became a huge success. It
was such a success, in fact, that several
copycat bars were soon in competition
with me. I wanted to stay a step ahead of
them. It was early 1968. For some time I
had been tracking the success of a new
phenomenon called “go-go” clubs. They
had started in California, and spread to
Phoenix, Tucson, and then Houston. But
there were no go-go clubs in the East. I
thought that one might be a smashing
success in Dayton, but I had never actu-
ally seen a go-go club in operation. So |
decided to go to Phoenix and check one
out. I went to a place called the Hi-Liter
Club. To say the least, | was impressed.
The club featured a bevy of good-look-
ing dancers dressed in minuscule biki-
nis, gyrating to the latest music. I loved
it so much that I offered one of the girls
$100 if she’d take off her bikini on the
spot and give it to me. She did. I
returned to Dayton with the little gold
lamé souvenir, determined to start my
own go-go club.
My instincts told me that the club
should be located in downtown Dayton.
Conventional wisdom at the time con-
sidered downtown a bad choice. Inner
cities in the East were being deserted,
and their central cores were disintegrat-
ing. Nevertheless, it seemed right to me.
I went with my intuition. After some
looking around, I found an old greasy
spoon for sale. It was a godawful place:
17
an eighty-year-old dive with a liquor
license. I paid $15,000 for it, the license
and all. It needed work but it had poten-
tial. Inside was an old hand-carved
wooden bar right out of the Roaring
Twenties with fluted columns on the
sides, a big ornate top, and a huge mirror
cracked in four places, as if it had been
shot. The bar would make a good center-
piece, I decided, but the rest of the place
was beyond hope. The plaster on the
ceiling was cracked and sagging. The old
wood lath was showing in a few places. I
didn’t want to spend the money to install
a drop ceiling, and so I decided to paint
it flat black; after I did, the ceiling just
disappeared. | patched some holes, paint-
ed the walls, and bought some cheap
paintings—nudes on black velvet. Then |
put down red carpeting, built a little
stage, and brought in cocktail tables. |
ended up spending only about $5,000.
I kept the place open during remod-
eling so the existing customers—
mostly winos and drunks—could come
in and spend money. One day I was sit-
ting at the bar next to an old hooker,
thinking out loud. I couldn’t decide
what to name my newest club. She
looked at me and said, “Hey, honey,
why don’t you name it after my old
money-maker?” and slapped herself on
the ass. “Good idea,” I thought to
myself. “I'll call it The Hooker.” I sat
there for a minute, satisfied with
myself, and then thought, “Wait a
minute. I’m gonna call it the Hustler
Club.” The name stuck. With the theme
established, a couple of days later I
hung the framed pictures of several
famous mobsters over the bar. I called
them the Hustler Club Board of
Directors. A friend of mine, a cop on
Dayton’s vice squad, was sitting at the
bar after hours one night. I said to him,
“The bar looks authentic, but the pic-
tures lack something.” Not saying a
word, he took out his pistol and shot a
hole through one of the portraits. “Is
that better?” We looked at each other
for an instant; then I took out my pistol,
too. We emptied them into the other
pictures. Glass flew everywhere. When
we were done, it looked right.
Customers would always ask, “How’d
those bullet holes get there?” I
wouldn’t answer. I’d just look at them
and smile. I had reason to smile. |
cleared a $5,000 profit the first week
the Hustler Club was open.
Excerpted from An Unseemly Man: My
Life_as Pornographer, Pundit, and
Social Outcast, by Larry Flynt, ©1996.
Used with permission of Dove Books,
Los Angeles. Paperback editions avail-
able Summer 1997.
18
July
HUSTLER
A Year in Pictures:
Following The People
vs. Larry Flynt
The late-1996 release of The People vs. Larry Flynt \ed to a whirlwind of
travel and publicity. Snapshots from the past year: (Opposite page, top to
bottom) Larry and fiancee Liz Berrios with Czech President Vaclav Havel, at
a Prague screening of The People vs. Larry Flynt. Larry poses with Woody
Harrelson and his brother, Brett, who play the roles of Larry and Jimmy
Flynt, respectively, in the Columbia Pictures production. Larry visits with
John Hockenberry on MSNBC’s Edgewise.
This page, clockwise from top: Larry and Liz Berrios with Courtney Love,
who portrays the late Althea Leasure Flynt in The People vs. Larry Flynt.
Flynt debates Reverend Jerry Falwell on Larry King Live. Larry with Geraldo
Rivera. Larry with Milos Forman, Oscar-nominated director of Larry Flynt.
19
Older and Wiser
I am a 58-year-old grandmother who has
never been interested in pornography. But
I saw the March ’97 cover of HUSTLER
in a promotion for your autobiographical
film (The People vs. Larry Flynt, Colum-
bia Pictures) and thought that the cover
was so powerful and beautiful that I
bought the issue. I would eventually like
to have it framed and placed on my bed-
room wall. I am sure that you will be
hearing from many other women. The
cover is a work of art and education.
—C. A.
Louisville, Kentucky
Thanks, ma’am. Although HUSTLER’s a
“men’s magazine,” we do try our best to
give the ladies a Woody.
Tex Rated
I want to personally thank you for featur-
ing me and my musical cause in your
April issue (Days on the Lost Highway:
The Honky-Tonk Crusade of Dale Wat-
son and His Lone Stars, April ’97). I’ve
loved your mag since my older brothers
were old enough to buy it. ’'m 34 now,
and I only hope I improve with age as
much as HUSTLER has. By the way, As-
sociate Editor Scott “Smitty” Smith was
a shining example of a road dog. He
made quite a few fans from beer joints,
truckstops and mosh pits. Tell him we'll
keep a Shiner and a Lone Star beer on ice
for him. Thanks again, from one under-
dog to another. I’m proud to have a liter-
ary compadre. —Dale Watson
Austin, Texas
Buck Up, Beaver
I’m writing to thank HUSTLER for pub-
lishing my wife’s picture in Beaver Hunt
(Jodi, February *97). She thinks she could
have taken a better picture, but it seems
only fitting that her picture came out at the
same time as Mr. Flynt’s movie, since she
had some of the same reactions that
HUSTLER did when it first started: All the
men that have seen it think it’s great, but
her boss has been very hard on her. She
threatened to fire her, then came to her
20
Any offer that seems too good to be true is probably untrue
senses. Maybe her attorney helped her see
the light. Some people in our little town
have called the restaurant where she works
and said they wouldn’t be back until my
wife quit, but none would leave their
names. Surprise! Just today my wife had
four gentlemen stop in from Grand Rapids,
Michigan, just to see her and say how
much they liked her picture. At first she
nace
Paul and Tammy: Room Serviced
July HUSTLER
When ordering merchandise through any mail-order supplier, minimize your risk of being disappointed
by dealing only with mail-order merchants who accept credit-card payment and have a working phone number in their ads
was upset by'the negative reactions, but
now that she’s had enough people support
her, she is very proud and would like to
know how to send in a model’s portfolio to
be considered for a spread in HUSTLER
and further her dreams. So, if there’s any
other ladies out there having a rough go of
it after their pictures are published, smile!
The real people who count thank you for
your choices! —G. and J.C.
Schoolcraft, Michigan
Thanks for sharing your inspiring tale of
love overcoming small-minded bigotry.
Any woman with a pussy as cute as Jodi’s
can hold her head high, and so should
her husband. Beautiful dreamers can
send clear color photos with nude front
and back views to the Talent Department,
8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900,
Beverly Hills, CA 90211.
i Am Curious Yellow
Your February °97 issue had a wet and
lumpy theme. Some cartoons, a few ad
parodies (“Calvin Decline,” Bits &
Pieces) and an article (“Kooky Kink
Goddess: Her Shit Don’t Stink,” Erotic
Entertainment) all had to do with piss and
shit. Last year, one of the other men’s
magazines stirred up a controversy with
an illustration of a beautiful woman uri-
nating. The laws on depicting this super-
erotic dirty deed must be pretty stringent.
(continued on page 33)
“Qoowww...1 love foreplay when you use a vibrator!”
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLIVE McLEAN
Our 1996 Beaver Hunt Winner is the lovely Sadie from Corpus Christi, Texas. This 24-year-old filly is a
full-time studcat Who enjoys exercise and horseback riding. Sadie made her first HUSTLER appearance
in the March 1996 Beaver Hunt. Readers stampeded 10 vote for Sadie after seeing heraseGrand Prize
Finalist #3 (Sadie: Haystacked, Augtist 96).
Between her four-alarm chill and her five-alarm body, ill take every free hand on the ponderosa to pul
out the fires she’s starting.
The big $5,000 prize that Sadie’s taking home as our top Beaver Hwit Beaver of the year is sure to
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IPyou've got something hot cooking at home, why not serve it up and win big like Sadie? See pages 116
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FEEDBACK
(continued from page 20)
It’s next to impossible to find. Could you
do a layout of a gorgeous centerfold
soaking her white panties, bikini or blue
jeans with that warm, steamy, enor-
mously sexy golden flow? Do any beau-
tiful women out there get off on this, or
am I just a bit twisted? —D.B.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Of course you're twisted, D. B., but lucky
for you, our beautiful women are bent the
same way. Our October '97 issue will
feature a young lady bursting to answer
the call of nature. Try to hold your water
until then.
Alexandrea the Great
Well, you ruined my day. I opened my
February HUSTLER, and there on the
Contents page was the most stunning
face I'd seen for years. I could not wait
to see her other photos, and there she
was, the centerfold. Ooze seeped from
my pecker as my eyes swarmed over
the lovely Alexandrea (Alexandrea:
Watcher in the Woods, February °97).
Great breasts and a to-die-for pussy, all
held together by the most wonderful
body. She’s the best I’ve ever seen.
—S. J.
New South Wales, Australia
Clits the Spot
I’ve never subscribed to your beautiful
magazine, but I measure the passing of
time by when the next issue hits the
newsstand. In Paul and Tammy: Room
Serviced (April °97), you showed me
what I like most about HUSTLER. You
show Paul, the lucky devil, licking
Tammy’s clit, with the clit so erect, it is
beautiful. I imagine it’s me she is think-
ing of. Although it’s not as big as Vanessa
Del Rio’s or a thumb, it does look tasty.
—D.R.
Sag Harbor, New York
Many readers have written to applaud
Tammy's little pink friend. And antiporn
feminists say men don't value a woman's
clitoral pleasure. ;
Ass Backward
Question: Why is it everyone assumes
that a gay or bisexual man wants to fuck
someone up the ass? I am bi, and I would
never want that. I don’t even wish to do
that to a woman. —I.C.
Ft. Springs, West Virginia
Answer; That proves you're a fag.
July HUSTLER
Morale Booster
I am a soldier in Bosnia and, if it wasn’t
for your magazine, life here would be un-
bearable. We have no good-looking
women here; so each one of us chooses
our favorite HUSTLER babe as our fan-
tasy girl. My platoon would like to thank
our friends at HUSTLER, the world’s
best gentlemen’s magazine, for making
the stay here much easier. —M. C.
Bosnia
The HUSTLER Honeys send their love,
but don’t ever call us gentlemen again.
Concerned Citizen
The FBI and other federal agencies have
pornography that they use for stings and
entrapment. Would it be possible to get
copies of this material through the Free-
dom of Information Act? —B. B.
Russell Springs, Kentucky
You'd have to ask a lawyer, B. B. But
proceed with caution. You may not want
to see what's in famed drag queen and
boy-lover J. Edgar Hoover's collection.
Long Green for Big Pink
I want to own every single HUSTLER
Magazine ever published, and I’m willing
to pay $10,000 to do so. Can you help
me? If that’s not enough, I will increase
the amount. Please. Please. —S. A.
Coweta, Oklahoma
It’s a start, S. A. Collectors wishing to
put in bids, call 1-815-734-1142 or write
to P.O. Box 474, Mt. Morris, IL 61054.
White Noise
This yuppie, gay-sport, media-Jew, Jap,
nigger-made golf creation making mil-
lions, Tiger Woods, tells fans he hates
people bugging him for autographs.
Other than that, it’s kiss-my-fat-black-ass
Oprah Winfrey, sick Jew sitcoms and
Texaco shelling out 174 million to the
niggers. Fucking niggers getting away
with murder. Whitey, kiss the big, black
nigger asshole. Thank you, HUSTLER
for letting me say “nigger.” —T. J.
Duluth, Minnesota
Thank you, T. J., for letting us say
“dipshit.”
Do you have a comment or complaint? We
want to hear it. Send your letters (typed or
neatly handwritten) to HUSTLER Feed-
back, 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900,
Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Include a phone
number if you want your letter considered
for publication. @
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EDITED BY EVAN WRIGHT
THREE-QUARTERS ERECT |
Directed by Thomas Paine; starring Tiffany Mynx,
Emily Hill, Nadia Moore, Caressa Savage,
Sahara Sands, Anna Malle, Devon Shore,
Little Cinderella, Alex Sanders, Peter North,
Hank Armstrong, Rod Fontana, Steve Hatcher and
Bobby Vitale. Videocassette: Sin City
How large is Alex Sanders’s hand?
Approximately the size of Emily Hill's cunt,
judging by the opening of Passion, in which
Sanders shoves almost his entire fist deep into
Hill’s valley of shaved pink. With drool-
soaked chin, Hill babbles on Sanders’s shaft,
then turns doughy ass cheeks over easy for a
plowing of her poop hole, ending with a shot
of yolk to her mildly bored smile. Top bitch
Anna Malle, with big, white teeth gleaming
like fangs from her perpetual snarl, works
over two dudes—masticating, grinding and
- , humping them until sweat covers her tanned,
7 Y - - . muscle-contoured back in a satiny film, and
sperm spackles her mouth in clinging lumps.
Three wad slingers mount a pair of cunts at a
party. Little Cinderella arches her spine, mak-
ing her look delicate as a glass figurine. One
Neanderthal pulls fistfuls of Cinderella’s
blond hair, fucking her sweet, cringing face;
another grunt man drives into Cinderella’s
snizz, pawing and slapping her creamy little
titties like a bear mauling candy. Tiffany
Mynx dribbles champagne into Caressa
Savage’s slit and sucks it out with a straw,
before both tonguing trollops move on to
more conventional depravities with a huge
dildo. Peter North plumbs Sahara Sands and
sprays a merry white beard of spunk onto her
ae - hairless pubic mound. Passion is a minor
PASSION: Savage's slobbery seduction of Mynx. triumph of filth. — Mack Assarian
July HUSTLER 37
The perfect woman is a 19-year-old with
creamy tits flopping out of her cardigan
sweater. When asked, she cinches into a
1950s corset and fingers her hairy twat
for the camera.
The perfect woman wears a dunce
cap. She kneels, when ordered by a pot-
bellied pervert, and waddles across the
floor with her panties binding her knees.
/ |
Cleo shows off her kitty training
in Volume 5.
The perfect woman comes with a twin
sister. One twin is dyed blond; the other
is a redhead. They dress in white gloves,
merry widows and heels. They nuzzle on
a cot. The redhead paints a lipstick
mouth on the crotch of her sister's
white-cotton panties. Why one twin
seems to be several inches taller than
her sister is never explained.
These are some of the views presented
by fetish photographer Eric Kroll in his
new video series The Perfect Woman.
Each tape documents Kroll at work on a
kink photo shoot. The models pose.
Kroll walks in and out of frame, snap-
ping stills. The video cam seldom
moves. There is no triple-XXX action,
except for a femme-to-femme fellatio
scene suggested in Volume 6 and a few
harried masturbation moments sprinkled
throughout.
Hard-core jackoffs will be disappointed
by the lack of fistable material, but the
Perfect Woman series will interest
extreme fetish fans eager to get a
behind-the-scenes’ view of one of
today's top pervo lensmen at work. Each
| tape is $49. Inquiries may be faxed to
Eric Kroll at 415-931-3203,
Fans of Eric Kroll’s still photography
should check out the debut issue of
HUSTLER’s Lec Worp, available on
May 27 at finer adult-book stores and
newsstands everywhere,
Renee displays crack and dunce cap in Volume 1.
starring Cort Knee, Tatiana, Kimberly
Jade, Dallas, Spice, Fallon, Anna-Lisa,
Peter North, John West, Vince Vouyer
and Dave Hardman. Videocassette:
TCKS Entertainment.
This year 7,000 porn videos
will be made, and most of them
will suck, and some of the worst
suckers will be made with ten
times more money than was
spent on Canned Heat. Yet,
Canned Heat doesn’t suck much.
Why? Helmsman Mike Carpenter
aims the camera at what most
viewers want to see: asses, cunts
and the cunts’ faces reacting as
they are fucked. The fact that a
wiggling tit’s never far out of
frame doesn’t hurt either. The first
cunt fucked belongs to Kimberly
Jade, who gives Vince Vouyer a
complete tour of her turd hole
prior to the scene’s splashy end-
ing; a cunt-sucking brunette
spreads sphincters for a putz, then
jacks choad into the slack mouth
of her blond slut companion. With
her yellow hair in cornrows, those
wobblies hard, high and wide
apart and a big, fat clitoris poking
out beneath her taut tummy, Cort
Knee is a freak of beauty. The
sight of her pillow lips mumbling
over Tatiana’s brillo bush is only
surpassed by the shot of Knee’s
velvety shit valve swallowing one
fat dick as another crams against
her tonsils. Other XXX directors
would do well to study the ingre-
dients in Canned Heat. —M.A.
The Show
- ee
Directed by Paul Thomas; starring
Christy Canyon, Jenteal, Krista Maze,
Tracy Love, Toni, Kitty Monroe, Toni
Tedeschi, Vince Vouyer, Michael Knight,
Scotty Schwartz and Steven St. Croix.
Videocassette: Vivid.
Christy Canyon’s tits. Big, bob-
bling buoys whose careers have
borne witness to more than a jizzil-
lion load launches and weathered a
veritable tsunami of semen, Check
out these fucking floats in the clos-
ing scene of The Show: Rumbled
by a prodding choad, Canyon’s
gargantuan bazooms bumble
across her chest as if a pair of
berserk ferrets were tunneling in
subdermal circles atop her rib cage.
The fact that Christy’s legendary
fun bags sag a tad is easily glossed
when the flat-backing Canyon
looses a rippling wave of fleshy
mam that positively demands the
fist-fucking viewer’s foamy white-
cap. Other than one or two revela-
tory moments of old-school, unen-
hanced bongo boom, this smut-
styled parody of The Larry
Sanders Show typifies Vivid prod-
uct: Crackling-hot honeys har-
nessed by an overwritten plot, soft-
lit sex and a general tenor of
neutered nastiness. A vomitous
Scotty Schwartz stand-up set is the
only unforeseen insult to wanked
crank. Repeat: Christy Canyon’s
tits. Unapologetic fans of unrecon-
structed cans should give The
Show a shot. —Richard Crenshaw
Barby's on
Butt Row
é THREE-QUARTERS >
ERECT
Directed by Joey Silvera; starring
Suzie, Kim E., Vanessa, Monique,
Marina, Chloe, Alyssa, Aleksandra,
Tricia, Barby, Malitia, Jake Steed,
Mr. Marcus, Nick East, Tom Byron,
Michael J. Cox and Mark Davis,
Videocassette: Evil Angel.
The Butt Row duckies are all
lined up: Crazy Chloe likes a
prong in her shitter and some dig-
its up her clam. Vanessa, her hot,
Latin blood acting up, wraps her
lips around Mr. Marcus’s swing-
ing onyx hammer, then pounds
the tool into her virgin crap chute.
Bright-blonde Malitia is pretty as
a supermodel, and though she’s
not up for a dorsal plugging,
she’s happy to let Jake Steed
charge up her snatch and dribble
dick lather all over her classy
mug. Two soft-mammed, big-
assed bottle blondes giggle and
kiss each other’s pussies, then let
wad chub up into their floppy-
lipped cho-chos and bubble over
on their pendulous wobblies. The
littlest of the flock, tartan-skirted,
ivory-skinned Marina is giddy as
a schoolgirl when Mark Davis
bends her over a pool table and
bumps into her springy haunches.
In Barby’s on Butt Row, director
Joey Silvera has bagged himself a
fine set of birds. —RK.C.
July HUSTLER
PHREE-QUARTERS
ERECT
Directed by Freddie Morse, Scott Lucky
and Francois Clousot; starring Fever,
Nicolette, Attila Dori, Katalin Szolarov,
Pogany Tunde, Akim, Kriztina, Tracy
Love, Rodolph, Antrim, Zoltan Hess,
Red Boan, Steve Hatcher and
Jean-Yves Le Castel. Videocassette
Private Video
Private Stories’ foreign-tongued
skanks spare viewers from the
tedium of stilted porn dialogue,
but body language speaks vol-
umes. Trimmed pelts switch and
wriggle, loudly appealing for
penetration. Clenching butt cheeks
demand that their sphincters, glis-
tening with lubricant, be plowed.
Wenches’ painted, sullen faces
speak of hardscrabble existences
in the former Eastern-bloc coun-
tries whence they come, but lines
of feminine desperation, rouged
and mascara-tinted, also give a
streety sex appeal. All the Euro
bitches hump hard, but none is
more appealing than Kriztina, a
haughty brunette with upturned
titties whom two. sleazy
Frenchmen cut down to size in a
forest. American pricks Steve
Hatcher and Red Boan pop into
the bottom holes of a pasty, blond
piece of Continental quim, and
Private Stories #15 ends, offering
stiff pricks a gripping experience.
—M. A.
a
PRIVATE STORIES #15: Love cringes as Hatcher and Boan cram cunt and crapper.
HALF ‘
ERECT __
Directed by Horney Henry; starring
Rebecca Wild, Krista Maze, Julie Rage,
Tyler, Nikki Brantz, Heather Lee,
Jonathan Morgan, Tony Tedeschi,
Peter North, Kyle Stone, Dick Nasty
and Seth Gecko. Videocassette: VCA
Hammy Jonathan Morgan has
got female trouble. His hillbilly
sister-in-law (Rebecca Wild) has
just moved in from bumfuck
holler and she’s got even bigger
fake tits and a bigger ass than
his wife (Julie Rage). He needs
to stick his penis inside that
darn hick cunt before he goes
nuts. While Morgan weighs the
risks and rewards of cheating
with his in-law, his buddies fuck
some pussy. Old Dick Nasty
slides his worm into Heather
Lee’s been-there, done-that
vagina and tries not to pop her
hyper-inflated set of scar-ringed
cancer bags. A mincing mook
lucks into cornholing Nikki
Brantz, a silky-haired, tiny-top
brunette who licks him into
shape, then crams him into her
ass. After banging his old lady
one last time and shooting
splooge down her throat, Morgan
throws caution to the wind and
tosses his limp dick into the
bucktoothed craw of Wild, who
hee-haws through an apparently
fake money-shot. Country Girl
is far from the pick of the litter.
RC.
THE SHOW: Love kneels for a spunk pop.
J /_ |
COUNTRY GIRL: Wild flashes velvety wedge while gobbling gonads.
BARBY’S ON BUTT ROW: Sleazy
sirens Vanessa and Malitia.
CANNED HEAT: Tatiana suckles
and rubs Cort Knee’s nubs.
39
ZATION
AWARDS?
Judgment Night for the Sinners
of Adult Entertainment
On Friday night, February 7, approxi-
mately 300 of the smut industry’s most
talented sluts, hard-on wranglers and
lensmen converged on the ballroom at
West Hollywood's tony Wyndham Bel
Age Hotel for this year's X-Rated Critics
Organization Awards Show.
“What we are about to hear is the
truth,” shouted the beef-face emcee,
carnival showman turned raunch pur-
veyor Jim Holiday, at the start of the
awards, “so everybody please shut up.”
Honors went to the videos, performers
and directors garnering the most votes
/
Misty Rain lavishes licks on Felecia.
in secret ballots cast by 20 of the
nation’s leading critics of raunch enter-
tainment. The unruly crowd of sexual
anarchists, fueled by frequent visits to
the cash bar, jeered and yammered
loudly throughout.
“My cunt was so sore yesterday, |
told the director | could only do anal,”
a redhead piece of ass yapped to her
seminaked girlfriend at a front-row
Award-winning sluts Stacy
Valentine and Sindee Coxx. |
table during a solemn speech about
the dangers of AIDS.
The soiree was also an occasion for
affectionate reunions between fuck-star
triends. The 56-year-old bald wonder
Dirty Dave Cummings, dapper in a
powder-blue Members Only jacket, leapt
from his chair during the Best Video pre-
sentation to chivalrously bestow a kiss
upon the hand of a long-legged Russian
tart whom he'd last seen while fucking
her up the ass. “That gal is something
special,” Dirty Dave observed, as she
sashayed away through the crowd. “After
| came, she hooked her legs behind her
head and squirted my cum from her butt-
hole to her mouth.”
Director Gregory Dark scooped the
award for Director of the Year, and his
Sex Freaks won for Best Film. Best
Video went to Buttman in the Crack,
and Missy was honored as Female
Performer of the Year.
At show's end, as the ballroom emp-
tied, brunet dynamo Taylor Hayes
hijacked the microphone for an
impromptu speech. “I’m sick of not get-
ting any award nominations!" Hayes
shrieked from the podium. “! want
everyone to know I'm not just a slut, I'm
a cheap whore! I'm a filthy cunt, and |
deserve something for it!”
Distracted from Hayes's speech,
Christi Lake collared a passing mook and
gave him head in the middle of the floor,
bringing one of porn’s classiest events of
the year to an appropriate finish.
Mf : Fioy
ie \
4 ‘ J
Ve at es )
ype
PHOTOGRAPHY BY SCOTT ST. JAMES
HALF
- —
Directed by Jace Rocker; starring
Serenity, Tatiana, Ruby, Sindee Coxx,
Tracy Love, Davia Ardell, Peter North,
Colt Steele, Steve Hatcher, Alex
Sanders, Mitchell Gant, Big T,
Jace Rocker, John O’Connell,
Steve Justice and Jonathan Morgan.
Videocassette: Wicked.
Sick and tired of plotless porn
verité? Longing for old-time
showmanship and dramatic
movie magic mixed in with ass
bangs and sperm facials? Time
Machine is a perfect antidote.
Machine’s high-concept garbage,
its costumed buffoonery, the Ed
Wood special effects and an
unforgivable amount of dialogue
delivered by antic-porn douchebag
Jonathan Morgan, all this makes
the stripped-down, bare-bone
fuck loops of Buttman and
Hardcore look like blue-screen
Hemingway. The relentless clap-
trap spoils the potentially pneu-
matic appearance of Tatiana, a
soft, tawny, round-assed beauty
with floating, nature-filled jiggle
sacks whose delectable flesh the
addled director saw fit to keep
clothed in a dime-store squaw
outfit for 75% of her ass-open
fuck scene. Instead of properly
focusing on the story’s true mer-
its—Serenity’s ass, Ruby’s sacks
and Tatiana’s clam—Time
Machine slowly grinds its gears,
pumping out schlock instead of
plumping cock. —R. C.
ra THREE-QUARTERS >
ERECT
Directed by Luc Wilder; starring
Alex Dane, Lexi Eriksson, Tyler, Silk,
Davia Ardell, Jamie Gillis, Alex Sanders,
Jake Steed, Matt Jade, Michael Hurt
and Tommy Gunn.
Videocassette: Sin City.
Curiously, Dirty Diner 3 seems
to share the same teenybopper
soundtrack with Ed Powers’
Lollipop Shoppe. The porn indus-
try’s well-deserved shoddy repu-
tation is based on manufacturers’
proclivity for cutting corners;
such cheapness is not always a
bad thing. Cheap is good when it
means splitting Alex Dane three
40
ways in Diner’s first scene, divid-
ing her toothy, cutie-pie smile
between a trio of cum chuckers
who bang her bent over the seat
of a Harley. Blond wisp Lexi
Eriksson pops into a low-rent-
diner set with chewed bubblegum
pressed into her trimmed snatch
stubble. A bearded older dude
shaves the mess clean and splats
a new mess onto Eriksson’s
writhing backside; typecast as
cheap sluts, platinum dairy queen
Davia and Dane buddy up on
Alex Sanders’s boner; Davia and
Eriksson lick splits; and Tyler and
Silk extract ball filling from two
humping horndogs, one of whom
pops straight into Silk’s flinching
eye. Dirty Diner 3 is good for
cheap beats. —M.A.
HALF
> «
- ERECT “™
Directed by Michael Ninn;
starring Ashlyn Gere, Victoria Paris,
Jeanna Fine, Anna Malle, Laura
Palmer, Victoria, Ruby, Julie Rage,
P. J. Spanx, Kim Kataine, Annah Marie,
Anna Malle, Mark Davis, Mike Horner,
Peter North, Hank Armstrong,
Santino Lee, Tom Byron, John Decker,
Vince Vouyer and Jeremy Steele.
Videocassette: VCA.
Decadence. The dictionary
defines it as “the process of
becoming decadent...exhibiting
the qualities of those who are
degenerating to a lower type.” It’s
too bad Michael Ninn seems
uncomfortable with the life blood
of porn: attractive lower-type
degenerates, such as Victoria Paris
and Ashlyn Gere, who open the
show feasting on beaver meat. The
stop-motion video technique used
throughout ensures that the cou-
ple’s moans of simulated ecstasy
are never quite in syne with their
actions. The soft-focus style sug-
gests to the viewer—already
annoyed by the faux Kenny G.
soundtrack—that Ninn would
rather be filming a big-budget,
fag-filled jeans commercial. The
slick stylization is a soporific,
even when applied to that degen-
erate’s degenerate Jeanna Fine as
she sucks spunk from a stiff one
with mouth and turd rings. Anna
Malle’s interracial staircase DP is
nothing to shake a limp dick at,
but Decadence doesn’t go low
enough. —M. A.
July HUSTLER
THE HOUSE ON
PARADISE BEACH: Rage spreads
gorge for Vitale.
ONE-QUARTER
ERECT
Directed by Roy Alexandre; starring
Helen Duval, Lisa Ann, Missy,
Blake Mitchell, Julie Rage,
Sharon Kane, Kimberly Kummings,
Dianne Richards, Jhasmin Obera, Mike
Horner, Mickey G., Mark Davis, Dave
Hardman and Bobby Vitale
Videocassette: VCA
The House on Paradise Beach
opens with an old bag reminiscing
about the good old days when
sluts dressed like flappers and
sucked scum from woodsmen in
bow ties. The costume drama
begins with silky, golden-haired
hellion Missy bending into bitch-
boff position and taking a bone
from Mike Horner. What hap-
pened to the cum-shot? Horner is
apparently conserving his spunk
for the outdoor bonk with Lisa
Ann on the running board of a
vintage car. Kimberly Kummings,
dark-eyed and deviant-looking,
opens her pooper for a DP, a feat
repeated by Helen Duval, a
husky-voiced, titanic-titted
Teutonic trollop, who grunts like
an ass-raped teamster when pene-
trated. Jhasmin and Sharon Kane
smoke some weird-ass weed; one
moment Jhasmin is looking fuck-
ably cute, and suddenly “she”
whips out a fat African-American
prong and schtups Kane. Be care-
ful at the House on Paradise
Beach. The dudes don’t always
come, and the chicks sometimes
have dicks. M. A.
TIME
* MACHINE: Serenity hops a ride on Steele.
41
of HUSTLER and HUSTLER EROTIC VIDEO GUIDE.
Fame Is a Whore on Butt Row
(Evil Angel)
Tori A., Amber, Sean Michaels
Gregory Dark's Shocking Truth II
(Dark Works/Evil Angel)
Missy, Sahara Sands, Claudio
SexHibition 3 (Sunshine Films Inc.)
Adriana, Dianne Sleek, Frank Gun
Sorority Sex Kittens 3 (VCA)
Shayla La Veaux, Ashlyn Gere, T. 7. Boy
co Ca nN
Daydreams, Nightdreams (VCA)
Asia Carrera, Shayla La Veaux, Randy West
Directors’ Wet Dreams
(Dripping Wet Pix)
Christi Lake, Misty Rain, Kyle Stone
Diva (VCA)
Juli Ashton, Taren Steele, Misty Rain
Ed Powers’ Lollipop Shoppe
(Sin City)
Lexi Eriksson, Stephanie Swift,
Vince Vouyer
Filthy First Timers #2 (Elegant Angel)
Drew, Morgan, Pandora, Sonny Bondero
Sorority Cheerleaders
(Pleasure Productions)
Kaitlyn Ashley, Tabitha Stevens, Jay Ashley
Totally Depraved (Sin City/Raw)
Tatiana, Tabitha, Nikki Brantz,
Jonathan Morgan
Anal Malle Exposed
(Western Visuals)
Anna Malle, Abbey Lane, Blake Palmer
Ben Dover's Royal Ass Force
= (VGA)
Nici Sterling, Mandy, Wilde Oscar
Butt Motors (VCA)
Juli Ashton, Tammi Ann, Nick East
Dirty Tails (Sin City)
Shawna Edwards, Roxanne Hall,
Santino Lee
| Want It All (Wave Video)
Heather Hunter, Monique De Moan,
Bobby Vitale
Takin’ It to the Limit 9
(Exquisite Pleasures)
Suzi Suzuki, Krista Maze, Sean Michaels
Pleasureland (Vivid)
Nikki Tyler, Lexus Locklear, T. T. Boy
The Right Connection (VCA)
Misty Rain, Ariana, Vinee Vouyer
Vivid Bloopers & Boners
(Vivid Video)
Janine, Jenteal, Steven St. Croix
Screwed (Headlock Films)
wy) Al Goldstein, Ron Jeremy, Leena
Shooting Gallery (Elegant Angel)
Missy, Devon Shore, Dave Hardman
A quick checklist of features reviewed in past issues
THREE-QUARTERS
ERECT
Directed by Tom Byron; starring
Charlie, Felecia, Dorothy, Maya, Mila,
Kimberly Jade, Tiffany Mynx, Nici
Sterling, Chandler, Li'l Bit, Naomi,
Lexi Eriksson, Roxanne Hall, Leah
Dawn, Mikki Mallone, Peter North,
Mark Davis and Tom Byron.
Videocassette: Elegant Angel
Warning: The average heterosex-
ual porn consumer’s pasty-fin-
gered enjoyment of blue-screen
poon is under mortifying assault
from a dingy, wrinkled adversary.
The latest below-the-belt attack on
a straight man’s creamy fantasies
comes not from porous old femi-
nist sponge Gloria Steinem, Nor
from disgraced, would-be thought
cop Newt Gingrich. No, this tight-
ly wound, mud-flinging assailant
is all the more insidious because
he comes from within. The new
enemy is our own male asshole:
The rusty shit lid keeps cropping
up to wilt rods and stifle stiffies in
recent scenes of girl-on-guy
analingus and, in Tom Byron's
Cumback Pussy 4, as the mincing
target of prodding butt plugs.
Every jerk smart enough to yank
his crank knows it’s not homo to
watch another guy’s cock plow
gash. After all, he watches his own
cock in his hand several times a
day. Another guy’s ass is a differ-
ent can of worms. A cunt-hungry
loner wants no part of a visual
42
relationship with his own rump
raisin, let alone the oily sphincters
of Tom Byron. When the lauded
actor/director interrupts the spew-
dripping, girly ass-flipping, cooze-
coated clam barrage of the gener-
ally searing fourth installment of
his award-winning series to spread
his legs and show off his bung,
HUSTLER crics foul and pleads,
Come back, pussy. —R.C.
ONE-QUARTER
ERECT
Directed by Nick York; starring
Juli Ashton, Serenity, Rebecca Lord,
Ruby, Montana Gunn, Tricia Deveraux,
Veronica Hart, Peter North, Randy West,
Nick East, Michael J. Cox, Vince Vouyer
and Scotty “The Toy” Schwartz.
Videocassette: Wicked Pictures.
Scotty Schwartz is a former
child actor who once costarred
with Richard Pryor in a cute-kid
fluff comedy called The Toy. As
Schwartz aged, his chubby apple
cheeks and stubby arms and legs
seemed less lovable and cuddly
and more like the attributes of a
short, fat guy. Hollywood stopped
calling. Instead of taking the hon-
orable ex-child-star route—liquor-
store holdups, drug rehab, Sally
Jesse Raphael—Schwartz has
traded his barely tradable celebrity
for the lead role in Scotty's X-
Rated Adventure, a pornographic
CUMBACK PUSSY 4: Felecia, Mikki Mallone, Li'l Bit and Roxanne Hall.
loogie hawked onto the wanking
public by Wicked Pictures, The
snot-slick flick depicts the lovely
Juli Ashton preparing puffy-faced
Scotty for the unlikely part of
blue-screen woodsman. While the
ensuing education features an
enticing poke inside French fuck
freak Rebecca Lord, the curricula
is dominated by Schwartz’s lame
mock-comic camera mugging.
The excruciating final scene
posits an Ashton and Schwartz
coupling, but soft-serving Scotty
might as well be shoving a
marshmallow through a coin slot.
X-Rated Adventure is a truly
bogus journey. —R. C.
¥ _—
SCOTTY'S X-RATED
ADVENTURE: Lord drops her
south side onto East.
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Thanks, HUSTLER, for 23 years of fine
raunch—and for saving this subscriber’s
marriage! My wife, Sadie, and I have al-
ways derived boudoir inspiration from
America’s Magazine. Without HUSTLER,
we never would have tried enemas, felch-
ing, fisting, anal beads or golden showers.
Hell, I never even broke an egg on Sadie’s
butt and used a magnifying glass to watch
the yolk dribble down her crack before I
saw it done in HUSTLER!
Recently, however, our love life became
so dry, even the guidance of Larry Flynt
couldn’t get my wife’s juices flowing. I
tried to interest Sadie in a Sex Play column
about bloodletting (“Blade Runners: The
Bloody Games Cutters Play,” November
*96); she handed me a butter knife and told
me where to stick it. When I suggested she |
follow the shining example of the Florida
Sinkhole and employ our fire extinguisher
as a dildo, her comments were too obscene
to be reprinted in these pages.
After eight years of nonstop fucking and
sucking, this lull came as a worrisome sur-
prise. Maybe Sadie was blowing the pa-
perboy. Maybe she simply wasn’t attracted
to me anymore. With each frigid night in
our increasingly chilly bedroom, I grew
more desperate to rekindle Sadie’s libido.
At least I could look forward to the new is-
sue of HUSTLER; my hand never falls
asleep on me during intimate moments.
When that familiar package from Larry
Flynt Publications blessed my mailbox, I
tore into the envelope. Sure enough, the lat-
est edition of my favorite magazine burst
out in all its pink-drenched glory. In addi-
tion, a single Polaroid fluttered onto the
kitchen floor. Sadie snatched up the photo-
graph, her eyes ablaze with curiosity. I
tried to peek, but Sadie turned her back.
“My, oh my,” she laughed. “Is this a
friend of yours?” There was a certain las-
civiousness to her throaty chuckle that I
hadn’t heard in a long time. I demanded to
see the snapshot that was causing Sadie’s
nipples to stiffen right before my eyes.
The photo featured a statuesque
brunette, sporting perfectly round casabas
and a flat stomach, tied to a post in the
desert. “Never seen her before in my life,”
I grunted. “Maybe it’s some kind of
Beaver Hunt bonus shot.” Sadie didn’t
seem interested in speculating about the
origin of the photo; she was simply trans-
fixed by the sight of this bound beauty.
“You know,” said Sadie, licking her lips,
“we’ve messed around with every type of
kinky sex except bondage. My girlfriend
Donna says her Henry ties her up all the
time.” The thought of restraining my beau-
tiful, blond wife and porking the shit out of
her gave me an instant hard-on. I guided
Sadie’s hand toward the log in my pants.
I whispered, “There’s about five yards
of twine in the garage. I could get a few
square knots going from your wrists and
ankles to the bedposts. Or maybe a sailor’s
knot would be more secu—mmf!” Sadie
shut up my excited rambling by plastering
her tongue in my mouth. She unzipped my
pants and softly stroked my wang.
“Tl had something a little different in
mind,” she purred. Then she dropped to
her knees and quaffed me whole.
Half an hour later, I felt the circulation
cut off in my right arm as Sadie pulled a
twine noose tight around my wrist. I don’t
know how I let her talk me into it, but I
was nude and bound to the bed. A rusty bi-
cycle chain served to shackle my feet. See-
ing my wife grin from ear to ear as she
transformed into a full-bore bondage freak
was quite a turn-on. Sadie planned to sadis-
tically prolong that arousal for as long as
possible. She slowly stripped off her
clothes, revealing the smooth bod that gets
me just as hot as the first day we met.
Sadie cooed, “Don’t you wish you |
July HUSTLER |
could play with my titties?” She tweaked
the nipples with spit-soaked fingers and
wiggled the fat floppers just centimeters
from my face. Pretty soon Sadie’s sticky
digits slid to the downy patch of yellow
pubes that crowns her mound.
“Ooohhh,” sighed Sadie. “My pussy’s
all wet and soft and steamy! Don’t you
wish you could cram me full of cock?”
Sadie spread her twat lips to reveal the
flush, colorful interior of her sopping
vagina. The sight was making my head
spin; my pecker jerked to attention, its
steely girth twitching in the wind. I don’t
know if Sadie had ever been this excited,
and I couldn’t wait to feel her electrically
charged privates from the inside.
Before I could thrill to that volcanic sen-
sation, Sadie had a few more rounds of her
game to play. She began, “I want you—”
“Then get on top of me right fucking
now,” I yelled. “I’m about to get off just
looking at you!”
Sadie let loose her dirty-minded chuckle
and climbed onto the bed, positioning her
ass so close yet so agonizingly far from
my purple crown. “Let me finish my sen-
tence,” she insisted, brushing her engorged
genitalia against mine—without allowing
me to enter. “I want you to beg for it.”
This was going too far! I felt the blood
rushing to my groin;
|
if I didn’t release the
torrent of splooge rumbling in my balls, I
(continued on page 49)
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Hot Lette rs She cried, “You're going so deep,
cunt and bring me off.” Now | knew she was completely drunk on dick; Sadie forgot my arms were tied!
was sure to die of a testicular overload.
“Please,” I whined. “Please, Sadie. Fuck
me before I pass out!” Sadie rewarded me
by spearing her nonny with the first inch of
my slab. Being careful not to allow more of
my pride inside her, Sadie swiveled 180 de-
grees, affording me a front-row view of her
big bottom. I wanted to grab those fat
hocks of hers and bury my spike within her
scrunt, but I was at the mercy of my wife’s
slow strokes. She bounced up and down at
an agonizingly slow rate.
The way Sadie milked my bone with her
tight cunny clamp felt better than fucking
any supermodel. She reached down and
wrapped her fist around the base of my
gourd; I know from experience that means
she’s aiming for a gushy, G-spot orgasm.
After riding me a little bit faster, Sadie
erupted in howls of tortured delight.
She cried, “You’re going so deep, it
hurts! It’s so fucking good! Touch my cunt
and bring me off.” Now I knew she was
completely drunk on dick; Sadie forgot my
arms were tied! I offered to lend her a help-
ing hand—as long as she untied it first.
Without dismounting my member, she hur-
riedly tore off my restraints. As soon as my
arms broke free, I pushed Sadie into a
doggy-style position, plowing her hole mer-
cilessly, One hand rubbed against her clit
while the other mauled her swinging teats.
Finally Sadie and I came together in an ex-
plosion of squirts and screams.
Afterward, we jumped into the bathtub
together, relaxing as we read the new
HUSTLER. I wondered out loud how that
Polaroid ended up in my subscription enve-
lope. Sadie figured it must have been a sim-
ple mail-room mishap, but I have a
different theory, and it involves the divine
intervention of one Lawrence Claxton
Flynt. Not a bad way to celebrate your 23rd
anniversary, HUSTLER; now how are you
gonna top it next year? —P. J.
Gloucester City, New Jersey
CREAM WEAVER
I’ve been kind of tense since I lost my job
as a mechanic. Accepting a minimum-wage
position as a dishwasher forced me to sell
my car and move into a flea-infested slum
on the bad side of town. It’s all because of
one bad night when I flew off the handle.
But I'd rather not go into that; I’ve been
trying to focus on the positive things in life.
Like that sexy, zaftig, brunet thing who
used to live across the hall.
The babe with the bodacious bazooms
went by the name of Crystal, and she was a
red-hot piece of ass. Each night as I
dragged my exhausted carcass up the stairs,
desperate to collapse on my dirty mattress,
I was greeted by the sight of Crystal smok-
ing on the fire escape. She practically burst
out of an aging terry-cloth bathrobe, heav-
ing acres of pink cleavage with each puff
on her cigarette. The two of us exchanged
weary smiles, but that’s as far as I was will-
ing to pursue the flirtation. I’ve heard what
Crystal’s big, fierce-looking boyfriend does
to her when he comes home drunk; I don’t
particularly relish the thought of the muscu-
lar mongoloid dishing me the same treat-
ment. That doesn’t stop me from
masturbating to the thought of Crystal’s
(continued from page 45)
it hurts! It’s so fucking good! Touch my
jugs the second I’m behind closed doors.
Last night the air conditioner conked out,
which was actually a relief; at least the con-
stant rattling wouldn’t keep me awake. Un-
fortunately, the heat was sweltering. I
tossed and turned, suffering from feverish
visions. One such apparition involved Crys-
tal standing above me in her bathrobe. She
was naked underneath, a fact that was visi-
ble even in the darkness; Crystal’s furry,
pink snatch leered at me from my vantage
point between her legs. Meanwhile, the lips
on her face were smeared in such a heavy,
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‘Hot Lette rs Crystal’s throat was swallowing my love muscle; the tingling sensation of
a deep and sloppy blowjob shot up my spine, and | returned to eating her poontang with renewed fervor.
her hips in circular slow motion. She was
painting my face with pussy juice, and it
was all my tongue could do to keep up
with her swelling clit. Soon I was swab-
bing her labes as Crystal took two digits to
twiddle her love button. I cupped her
voluptuous ass, kneading the cushiony
rump pillows and guiding her loins to fur-
ther smother my face.
Every drip and spasm of my cunnilin-
gual explorations seemed so real, | almost
forgot I was dreaming. Until, that is, Crys-
messy layer of lipstick, my dream girl re-
sembled a curvaceous clown. That struck
me as unusual, but when it comes to my
perverse imagination, nothing surprises me.
I grabbed her by the ankles and ran my
hands over her muscular calves. Crystal
sure felt like flesh and blood. If this was |
simply a case of nocturnal emission, I in- |
tended to enjoy my wet dream to the |
fullest. I pulled her down on top of me. Her
slick, musky snatch rested upon my mouth.
“Mmmaaahhh,” sighed Crystal, grinding
be ever 18. into my mouth
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tal arched her back so far, she actually man-
aged to kiss the tip of my rigid cock—up-
side down. No woman could possibly be so
double-jointed as to 69 while bent back-
ward like a hermit crab. Yet Crystal’s
throat was swallowing my love muscle; the
tingling sensation of a deep and sloppy
blowjob shot up my spine, and I returned to
eating her poontang with renewed fervor.
Crystal popped her mouth off my tool
and panted, “Stop.” I obeyed. Without an-
other word, she slithered out of her con-
torted position and took a seat on my meat
pipe. I gasped as my first few inches slid in-
side Crystal’s velvety canal. The tremors of
her cunt were more sensitive and tactile
than I’d ever imagined—except, of course,
that I was imagining the entire, frantic fuck.
I pushed my rod into her maidenhood ball-
deep, and the two of us groaned in unison.
Scalding heat from Crystal’s honeypot
bubbled over my loins, but her body was
cool to the touch—even freezing. I sat up
while grinding inside of her and took a pert
nipple gently between my teeth. Crystal
squealed and ran her fingers through my
hair. She was bucking in my lap and press-
ing her face against mine in an attempt to
pull our writhing bodies together. A trail of
lipstick followed as she dragged her mouth
down my neck and onto my chest.
The inferno cooking in Crystal’s vage,
coupled with the touch of her icy skin, soon
consumed my form in a brand of orgasmic
shivers I'd never experienced before. Her
ass bounced against my balls, which ached
to release a flood of liquid sex. When the
lightning strokes of her sugar walls brought
my climax to the point of no return, Crystal
jammed her fingers into my mouth. I bit
down hard, restraining a cry of ecstasy as
my sperm unloaded inside Crystal’s womb.
Spurt after spurt of my burning cum
flew between Crystal’s thighs; a few pearly
dribblings leaked down her leg as she un-
sheathed my member. She quickly pulled
her robe back on. Things get fuzzy for me
after that; I think I fell asleep, but then
again, I think I was already asleep.
Today I couldn’t get into my apartment
building; a yellow police line was taped up,
blocking off the area. I waited around and
saw the cops drag out Crystal’s boyfriend
in handcuffs. He was screaming that Crys-
tal wasn’t even home last night. I can’t be-
lieve I have to live in this hellish ghetto,
where the neighbors turn up missing. All
because of one bad night when I flew off
the handle. —B.R.
Detroit, Michigan
Send your sexperiences to HUSTLER Hot
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900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211.
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Lenny Bruce was a unique American
voice. An off-color comedian who per-
formed during a repressive American
era, Lenny insisted on exposing topics
that church and state would rather not
acknowledge. Lenny told the hidden
truths about sex and politics, and he
was funny as shit. No wonder society
hounded him to an early death.
Lenny Bruce was arrested, con-
fined, marginalized and boycotted.
Gloria Steinem would not have
dated him. Termed “decadent,
obscene, immoral, amoral,” Bruce’s
parallels with Larry Flynt strike
deep: Both married former strippers,
both had sudden religious conver-
sions later repudiated, and, like
Larry Flynt, Lenny Bruce was the
subject of a major motion picture.
In summer of 1966, Bruce was at
a low point. Legal battles and drug
use had depleted the comic. His con- |
fidence soured, Bruce landed at a
tiny Dayton, Ohio, bar. That bar was
owned by a brash young hustler from
Kentucky. In this recently unearthed
fabrication from the diaries of
Charlotta Honeysuckle, the story of
Lenny meeting Larry is told for the
first time.
* * *
July 5, 1966: I met the funniest
man last night. He was a little bit
greaser, and he smoked reefer. He
drove the prettiest purple Cadillac
convertible that Dayton, Ohio, has
ever seen, and he wore a strange reli-
gious medallion around his neck.
Lord, I just hope he was not a
Mexican. My reputation cannot stand
another Mexican.
The whole sordid tale started out
innocently. I’d dolled myself up in
my Miss Liberty nightgown and trot-
ted down to Larry’s Hillbilly Haven
for that esteemed beer hall’s First
Annual Fourth of July Costume Party
and Goat Fucking.
Larry Flynt had fenced off the
horseshoe pit out back of the tavern,
running a stretch of red, white and
blue bunting from the men’s outhouse
to the lady’s powder shed. A couple of
July HUSTLER
Restrictive attitudes in the name of so-called morality increasingly take the fun out of fucking.
Through good, old-fashioned homespun knowledge, hearsay, scientific facts and outright lies, this
series strives to spread the word that rubbing uglies is a beautiful experience.
When
Lenny
Met Larry
BY CHARLOTTA HONEYSUCKLE
rams was penned back there, drinking
green beer left over from St. Patrick’s
Day. The ewes was being rode pretty
rough, and the billy goats must have
been wondering if there’d be any
pussy left over once Mr. Flynt’s hired
hands finished taking free samples.
Larry was far too classy to be
romancing four-legged females, even
though the Hillbilly Haven is his
place, and he does have dibs on the
performers. This is just one example
of the sophistication that makes me
crazy for those Flynt menfolks.
Larry was busy busting up fights
that erupted in the goat line and keep-
ing his eye on his cash register; so he
failed to notice my statuesque five-
foot-two frame with my titties
squeezed together like suckling hams
and my pea-patch ass poking out the
rear of my Miss Liberty nightie.
This stranger I never seen in
Dayton, sort of oily and sweating
independent of the outside tempera-
ture, sidles up and consoles me.
“So what’s a girl like you do for a
living,” he smirks, his dark, dreamy
eyes making a sleepy tour of my
natural wonders, “although I bet I
already know.”
“I bet you don’t,” I retorted, and I
| wish we would have put some money
os
°
Saleh hint
eines
ILLUSTRATION BY DANNY HELLMAN
on it. I told him how I drove a tractor
for the dairy farm until I got fired for
colliding with two cows in one month
while I was making a left turn.
“Tt was the cow’s fault both times,”
I says, pouting.
“Did you signal, baby?” says the
stranger.
See what I mean about him being
funny? Who ever heard of signaling
a cow?
He says: “What’s a cool chick like
you do for kicks in this hick burg?”
Wouldn’t you know it? Once
another man shows interest, Mr.
Larry Flynt is leaning across his bar
and hanging all over me.
Larry says: “How long you gone
be in these parts, Mr. Hickberg?”
The oily man laughed like he’d
been punched in the stomach yester-
day for not getting a joke and didn’t
want to get punched again.
“The name is Bruce,” he says.
“Bruce?” says Larry. Me and him
was thinking the same thing.
“Hey, dig. Don’t make me for a
faggot,” says the swarthy man. “Bruce
is my family name, and faggots don’t
have families. Maybe you’ve heard of
Lenny Bruce? I was once as famous
as chopped liver.”
(continued on page 56)
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(continued from page 53)
y “Larry,” says Lenny, “it’s easy for you to talk this optimistic rap—took at you, in
your early 20s, busting with vitality and bennies. The world’s your oyster, with pink lips and a pearly joy buzzer.”
This Lenny Bruce was in Dayton, Ohio,
because he’d been banned everywhere
else, and he needed to earn some money
before the U.S. government threw him in
prison for making jokes about people hav-
ing sex. “If I was a faggot, would I be
unhappy about going to prison?” he said.
“The U.S. government can’t put a man
in prison for making jokes about sex,”
says Larry, not totally trusting the famous
unknown man, “or I'd be a jailbird.”
“Just you wait,” says this Lenny.
Larry must have felt sorry for the |
funny man, who did have a way of work-
ing his eyes so you'd feel pitiful for him.
“T’ll give you a job,” says Larry.
Larry’s idea was for Lenny to set up
on the bar behind a curtain with a sign
around his neck that said Jew. “Il pay
you three bucks a shift, and you can keep
all the tips.”
Lenny Bruce thought that offer over.
He seemed uncertain that folks would
pay two bits to just look at a Jew.
“Maybe if they could poke me with a
stick, that might be a gas,” he says, all
sad and brooding.
“We'll charge extra for physical con-
tact,” says Larry, lit up with genius.
This Lenny Bruce is saying in every
other word that he is a Jew, which I sus-
pect is somewhat different than being a
Mexican. But I can’t be positive. Lenny
proceeds to tell me that the Jews are an
ancient and culturally rich peoples, but
Lenny has never been to a goat fucking
and don’t even know what one was; so
how much culture could the man have?
“A goat fuckin’ is like a dog fight,” I
explain to him, “but a fella feels okay to
bring a date.”
“My schtick can’t compete with that
action,” he says, taking off his JEw sign.
Lenny looked awful tired. His skin
was hanging like it just couldn’t bear the
| thought of holding itself up no more. The
Fourth fell on Monday this year; so the
bar was full of casualties from the long
weekend of boozin’ and brawlin’. Nobody
looked half so beat up and fed up as
Lenny Bruce. The man couldn’t have
been more than 40 years old, and he car-
ried the troubles of all time.
“Mister,” says Larry, “I don’t see what
you got to be so hangdog about.”
“I’m the first one in my family ever
sent to prison,” says Lenny. “My mother
wanted a doctor.”
“Quit crying, Bruce,” says Larry. “It’s
the Fourth of July, a celebration of free-
dom and liberty. You got a slice of South-
| ern hospitality, Charlotta Honeysuckle, on |
__ July HUSTLER
your arm, and you are about to witness
the most erotic goat coupling in all of
Montgomery County.”
I never like it when a grown man cries,
but I would have preferred tears to the
wheezing laugh that Lenny choked out.
“Larry,” says Lenny, “it’s easy for you
to talk this optimistic rap—tlook at you,
in your early 20s, busting with vitality
and bennies. The world’s your oyster,
with pink lips and a pearly joy buzzer.
Me, I’m washed out. Does the world care
if a dirty Jew comic rots in jail?
“You know why they came after me?
It wasn’t the pussy humor. It wasn’t the
reefer and scag. It was the politics. I
never should have made fun of politics.
“Stick to pussy. That’s my advice as a
beaten man to a young comer, Larry.
Look at this place. Get some strippers in
here. Pussy will make you a billionaire.
Just don’t mix it with politics, and you'll
be safe.”
Larry is always ready to talk pussy, and
I love being the center of conversation.
“I know what would cheer up this good
old boy,” says Larry, nudging me so my
boobs jiggled up out of my Miss Liberty.
“You want I should schtup her?” says
Lenny.
“Schtup?” That word don’t sound pretty,
but Larry assures me I'll like it a lot.
The mob of customers was rioting out
back where the goats was making love; so
we had the bar to ourselves. Lord knows
I’m not a drunken slut, but I did make the
first move. I felt like a human wishbone
with two turkeynecks sparring to see
which one split me widest.
I’m surprised I didn’t burst into flames.
Their cocks felt like torches passing
through me, Those two men was saying
something to each other and just using my
body as a means of communicating it.
I’ve enjoyed the affections of a fair
number of studs, but Lenny and Larry
each on his own dwarfs anyone else. I
don’t expect the world has bred more than
five or six men like Lenny or Larry. The
odds of bringing two of their like together
again is sheer impossible. I had both of
them at once. It makes me feel real proud
and sad at the same time.
# * *
Although rejuvenated by his encounter
with Honeysuckle and Flynt, Lenny Bruce
will die less than two months later. Larry
Flynt consistently ignores advice to play
safe, opting to follow Lenny’s example of
risk and outrage. Charlotta, on the other
hand, has stuck to pussy. @%
PHOTOGRAPHY BY MATTI KLATT
Currently a guest of the state, Kris is troubled by the close quar-
ters in the sanitarium. The amorous attentions of her cellmate,
Annie, frighten Kris.
“Temporary insanity, my ass! You're crazy, Annie!” yells Kris.
“Crazy for Kris...Kris...Krissy-Puffs,” mumbles Annie.
Kris is struck with inspiration: “Annie, if you get me out of
this straitjacket, I can touch you.”
Annie’s eyes light up. “Enjoy life. Eat out more often.”
“That’s right, Annie. Get me out, and I'll be your filet mignon.”
It’s a long road to wellness. Annie and Kris will travel it together.
( @ )
REPORT BY LAURA KIPNIS) & ILLUSTRATION BY JUSTIN FORBES
What kind of society sends its citizens to prison for their fantasies? In this
abridged excerpt from her book Bound and Gagged: Pornography and the
Politics of Fantasy in America (New York: Grove Press, 1996), Laura Kipnis
argues the case of a man doing hard time for a crime that no one committed,
De Pew His courage bolstered by policeman mentor Bobby, Dave lets his guilty fantasies about
young boys intensify, and between the two of them, a plan evolves to produce their own child-porn video.
The United States v. Daniel Thomas
DePew is a case about fantasy, from
beginning to end. Daniel DePew’s cata-
strophe was that his particular fantasies
happened to collide with those of the gov-
ernment. DePew, of course, lost. The only
part of this case that’s not fantasy are the
30 years DePew will spend in a federal
penitentiary.
* * *
In February 1989, an enterprising San
Jose, California, police officer named
James Rodrigues, working undercover, |
posted a message on a computer-sex bul-
letin board called “CHAOS.” Calling
himself “Bobby R.,” he wrote, “Subject:
Youngsters. Looking for others interested.
Hot and need someone. I'll travel if we
can set something up. Pics of the real
thing better.”
Dean Ashley Lambey, a 34-year-old
real-estate agent from Richmond,
Virginia, read Bobby’s ad. Using the
name “Dave Ashley,” he wrote, “Your
message caught my interest. Think we
may have something in common but need
to explore more. Want to talk?”
Bobby writes back. After each assures |
the other they’re not postal agents or |
cops, it quickly emerges that they’re both
interested in pictures of young boys.
Bobby begs Dave to keep up the corre-
spondence because, “It’s hard to find
friends with our interests.” Police officer
Bobby reveals that he has an “extensive
personal photo collection and occasional
access to ‘models’” because, he writes
suggestively, he works at a boys camp.
This tantalizing bit of information
launches a three-and-a-half month corre-
spondence in which Bobby painstakingly
cultivates and wins Dave’s trust by rein-
forcing Dave’s guilty interest in children.
“T used to think that I was the only person
in the world with these feelings,” writes
Bobby, “and that NO ONE could ever
understand how I felt.” Bobby lets Dave in
on another secret: He also works for a
tough-guy pornographer named Roberto,
who produces smut for “private clients
and their fantasies.” “I’d really like to
show some of my stuff off,” he volunteers.
Dave is, by his own accounts, a pretty
ineffectual pedophile. In contrast to
Bobby’s assurance, he repeatedly
describes himself as too nervous and
paranoid to approach boys—even for
“perfectly legitimate reasons,” he moans,
like cutting his overgrown lawn. Dave
turns to Bobby for advice on how to gain
access to boys and what to do with them
when he does. He asks basic sexual ques-
tions like how old boys have to be to have
erections and orgasms, For a purported
“Up next: Women Who’ve Taken It Up the Ass and Didn’t Like It!”
July HUSTLER
68 _
pedophile, he’s pretty out of the loop.
Despite vast efforts, Dave can’t seem
to come up with any photos of young
boys. As he complains to Bobby, “It
seems there is NO safe source for materi-
als here domestically, unless we want to
produce some ourselves.” Bobby responds
quickly, “What did you have in mind in
the way of making our own movies???
Really interested.” Dave writes that he’d
only been half-serious, but Bobby contin-
ues to promote the idea: “Read that you
were fantasizing about videos. I’m inter-
ested if you are??”
His courage bolstered by policeman
mentor Bobby, Dave lets his guilty fan-
tasies about young boys intensify, and
between the two of them, a plan evolves to
produce their own child-porn video. But
who’ll star? Dave claims to have a “source”
in Florida who will provide young boys.
Although Dave is often uncertain about
the whole project, this “fantasy’’ (his term)
becomes the regular subject of lengthy,
rambling phone conversations. So does the
very gruesome possibility that the boy will
somehow have to be “disposed of” once the
film is wrapped, for Dave and Bobby’s pro-
tection. This idea makes Dave squeamish:
He imagines himself growing fond of the
imaginary boy. He says he’d have “moral
qualms,” but is also willing to discuss the
possibilities in ever more vivid detail—as
long as Bobby reassures him it’s okay.
When he doesn’t, Dave gets insecure: “You
probably think I’m a real mental case,” he
writes, when Bobby’s not sufficiently
enthusiastic about one or another detail.
This kinship between Bobby and Dave
was actually being carefully orchestrated
by the FBI: Detective Rodrigues was regu-
larly consulting the Behavioral Sciences
Unit at FBI Headquarters, who advised
him on how to play Dave most effective-
ly—though they themselves admitted to
having no idea whether he was serious or
fantasizing. If he were serious, why would
he be so incautious? He’d never even met
Bobby. Rodrigues also told the local FBI
he thought that Dave’s Florida “source”
was a fiction. Nevertheless, Rodrigues was
told to set up a meeting with Dave as soon
as possible to gauge his seriousness.
Online, Bobby presses the issue,
telling Dave that his boss, Roberto, will
bankroll the film. Bobby will even fly
east for a meeting: “But I don’t wanna
come out there for nothing, I wanna make
sure if we’re gonna do it, we’re gonna do
it.” Dave agrees: He’s game.
Now there’s another twist: Bobby
announces he’s bringing a friend in on the
plan and tells Dave to find someone on
(continued on page 78)
a)
“Ever notice how people look like their pets?”
|
PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLIVE McLEAN
This forever-young slattern has a heart of
burnished steel. With Sturgis on her mind
and leather on her body, Rébecea enjoys}
the thrill of open roads and open legs.
She hasn't been anyone's steady old
lady in a while, preferring to be commu-
nal property of the entire club.
On this particular “fun run,” Rebecca
has clocked in seven partners so far. with
the halfway mark sul miles ahead.
Whether in a gas-station restroom, ona
beat-up pool table or bent over a tailgate,
Rebecca always gives a rebel yell and
cries, “More, more, more!”
the East Coast to join them. Dave argues
strenuously that they don’t need another
person, but Bobby insists.
Why the friend? Why a fourth person?
Because the cops’ goal is to nail Dave for
conspiracy to commit kidnapping and
form a conspiracy with the police.
Without another noncop, there’d be no
crime here. Bobby prods Dave to come up
with a name: “Let’s put the machine in
gear and get going.”
trol engineer at an electronics company,
happens to log on to another computer bul-
letin board, called “Drummer.” Ashley also
happens to be online, sees DePew’s
description and beeps him. The two chat,
and Ashley asks for DePew’s number. A
getting together. He’ll drive up from
Richmond and rent a hotel room.
When the two met up at the Radisson
in Alexandria, discussing fantasies was
the first order of business. Ashley brought
up his interest in children. DePew says he
told him that he wasn’t into kiddie sex,
but said, “I can be open-minded.” Ashley
his pornographer friends from California.
y
De Pew Daniel DePew was a tailor-
and the roles were often “daddies” and “boys.” But despite his unorthodox private life, he wasn’t a pedophile.
murder, and the law says a suspect can’t |
| partners were all adults, and the violence
Around this time, one Wednesday night, |
Daniel DePew, a 28-year-old systems-con- |
few days later, Ashley calls and proposes |
| spent an hour or two talking, didn’t have
described the kidnapping/snuff film sce- |
nario as a favored fantasy and mentioned |
“So they cut down my mother, then turn her into paper
DePew, a veteran of the Washington, |
D.C., gay S&M scene, says he didn’t really |
think about whether Ashley was serious |
or not—kidnapping fantasies, arrest fan-
tasies, even execution fantasies were |
standard fare in his world.
Daniel DePew was a tailor-made scape-
goat. His sex life involved elaborate role-
playing, and the roles were often “daddies” |
and “boys.” But despite his unorthodox
private life, he wasn’t a pedophile: His sex
was all consensual. To DePew, “boy” was
a role, not a chronological age, and vio-
lence was a form of private theater. There
were rules and safety procedures, and
despite lurid fantasies about kidnapping or
execution, the participants were always |
willing, and everyone went home alive.
DePew, who had been hoping the meet-
ing would lead to sex, found Ashley repel- |
lent—‘“a troll”—and was turned off. They
sex, and DePew left, not expecting to see |
Ashley again. |
Three weeks later, Ashley left a mes- |
sage on DePew’s voice mail. His friends |
from California were in town and maybe |
the four of them could get together? As |
promised, Bobby had flown to Richmond, |
accompanied by his undercover partner, |
R. J., who would play another hard-guy
and print pictures of pussy on her?”
(continued from page 68)
made scapegoat. His sex life involved elaborate role-playing,
pornographer. Without DePew being
aware of it, Ashley—assigned to come up
with another player—had proposed him for
the role. Calling Ashley to set up their first
meeting, Bobby prodded him to bring
DePew. Dave only had Dan’s work num-
ber though, didn’t reach him and didn’t
leave his number.
* * *
The first encounter between Ashley and
the detectives starts out awkwardly, with
small talk about the weather and cars. R. J.
finally pulls out a book of S&M photos,
telling Dave they all have “basically the
same kind of interests” and turning the con-
versation to the snuff film. Ashley contin-
ues to raise objections to both the kidnap-
ping and the violent finale. The two cops
try to overcome his hesitations. Ashley
mentions the possibility of obtaining a boy
from his Florida contact instead of a kid-
napping, but it will take maybe a month,
and R. J. vehemently protests, “Man, I
thought that’s why we came out here. I
didn’t want to wait no fucking month.”
Thus back to kidnapping. (Conspiracy to
kidnap carries one of the highest sentences
on the books.) They discuss the possibility
of DePew doing the “snuff,” and Ashley
says of the boy, “Ideally, I’d just like to,
you know, kick it out.”
R. J. says, “Let it walk?”
Dave says, “Yeah.”
R. J. counters, “Then let it talk.”
Dave agrees, but repeats, “If there was
some way we could do what we wanted
without the ending, I think we’d probably
do that. You know, fantasies don’t always
turn out the way you think they will.”
The detectives aren’t particularly inter-
ested in Dave’s moral qualms—they need
him to deliver Dan DePew. Over the next
two hours, R. J. and Bobby repeat the
necessity of meeting DePew seventeen
times. According to R. J., since Ashley’s
told DePew about the plan, DePew must
be in on it. Dave says Dan only knows
sketchy details. R. J. barks, “Don’t be
fucking stroking me along here, Does he
know what we’re doing? Yes or no?”
Later he summarizes, “I guess we’re in
agreement; Dan’s going to do it?” Dave
reminds the cop that they’d have to ask
DePew—Dan knows nothing about any of
this. As Dave’s preparing to leave, R. J.
commands him—twice—to talk to Dan
first thing in the morning.
At this point, Bobby has been courting
Dave Ashley for close to four months.
Without a fourth person, there is no crime.
In other words, these two detectives have
flown across the country in order to engi-
neer a crime that will not occur without
their instigation. Without DePew, the
OMENS RESOU
WBOOK STORE
IX
LAPIES, WE HAVE Tae
RUNAWAY BesTsetteR/
Je Pew Dan started worrying that if he tried to back out, they'd kill him. He figured the best thing
to do was play along and not piss them off—he could talk about making a snuff film in all the detail they wanted.
invited him to the hotel. When Bobby sug- |
gested they order room service, Dan noted |
whole caper amounts to four wasted |
months and a mountain of wasted law- |
enforcement dollars. The meter is ticking.
* * *
Back in California, Bobby calls Dan |
DePew at work himself, leaving a message |
that he’s a friend of Ashley’s. The next |
day, Bobby leaves another message: He’s |
on his way to Washington and hopes they |
can get together to discuss “mutual inter- |
ests.” Having failed to arrange the four-
way meeting on their first trip, the cops
were returning for another try. Not trusting
Ashley to deliver DePew, Bobby and R. J.
bait a hook and reel him in themselves.
When Dan arrives at the Marriott for his
blind date, he is surprised to find that |
Bobby isn’t alone. While Bobby fixes him |
a drink, R. J. tells him they’re concerned
about Ashley. Dan explains that he doesn’t
really know Ashley; they’d only met
once—he doesn’t even have his phone
number. Nevertheless, R. J. demands: “We
were real curious as to what he had said
about us.”
Bobby adds, “The thing R. J. is trying |
to say is that we want to see where you’re
coming from.”
DePew says he’d thought, initially, that
they were talking about a “scene,” a violent
sex fantasy that would eventually lead to
real S&M sex with the two men who had
they didn’t even want to leave the room for
dinner and took it as a hopeful sign they’d
all soon be taking off their clothes.
How could DePew have missed the
fact that he was being set up? He later
admitted, apologetically, that he’d been
thinking with his dick. When he’d walked
into the room, he’d found himself immedi-
ately attracted to R. J. The heavy, the guy
in control: That was Dan’s idea of the per-
fect man. And having cast R. J. as the
top—in his mind—it meant that his own
| role was obedience: “When your man tells
you to do something, you do it.” So if R. J.
wanted Dan to talk about making a snuff
film, Dan was only too willing to comply.
When R. J. asked him where he was com-
ing from, Dan continued to play out the
fantasy scenario he’d heard about from
Ashley and replied, “Well, actually, my
main interest is in doing the snuff.” If R. J.
wanted him to be the henchman in a snuff
film, he could play that.
Over the next three hours, whenever
no one’s taking off their clothes. They
keep trying to get him to talk about
Ashley —he doesn’t understand why.
“What kind of agreement did you
make with Dave?” R. J. asks.
Dan answers, “I told him we were talk-
ing in a purely hypothetical sense.” He
tells them he hadn’t trusted Ashley, and
they all agree about that. The agents are
pissed off that he’d neither called nor
shown up—they must have seen their
conspiracy slowly wafting away into the
ether. Bobby keeps phoning and leaving
messages on Ashley’s answering machine.
“Dan wants to know where you’re at,” he
says desperately.
Finally, Ashley calls, and Bobby and
R. J. berate him about not being there. “I
think there’s some things we gotta sit
down and talk about,” Bobby says sternly.
“We thought you discussed things with
Dan in a little bit more specific form as to
_ who the people were that were gonna be
R. J. cues him, Dan obediently spins out |
increasingly violent scenarios about his
role in the film. The two detectives ply
him with scotch, at least six or seven
drinks. They tell him they’ve made snuff
films before. At some point, Dan realizes
“T don’t need a good listener, I need a good orgasm!”
_ July HUSTLER
involved and stuff.” He gets Ashley to
agree to meet the following night.
Dan stayed though and, spurred on by
R. J., spent the rest of the evening regal-
ing the detectives with rambling details
about his sexual repertoire, which included
hanging and electrocution and a passion
for building elaborate sexual gadgetry and
various contraptions for S&M scenes. He’s
like a sadomasochistic Mr. Goodwrench.
Unfortunately for him, he’s also the kind
of guy who masks his nervousness and
insecurity by talking too much—and what
he likes to talk about most is sex. Violent
sex. It was a classic case of wrong place,
wrong time. Every word out of his mouth
was another count in the indictment.
DePew’s particular emotional land-
scape made him the perfect candidate for
this entrapment scheme. He’d had a tan-
gled relation to authority and manhood all
his life, never quite getting over a teenage
quest for masculine “role models.” It left
him way too impressed by these under-
cover cops playing tough guys and eager
to impress them with his own capacity for
violence.
The officers also said threatening-
sounding things about taking steps to pro-
tect their interests; Dan started worrying
that if he tried to back out, they’d kill
him. He figured the best thing to do was
play along and not piss them off—he
could talk about making a snuff film in all
the detail they wanted.
* * ae
The next night, Ashley shows up in an
uncooperative mood. He tells the detectives
he’s been too busy to look around for loca-
tions. He mutters, “Bitch, bitch, bitch,”
(continued on page 138)
PHOTOGRAPHY BY MATTI KLATT
Sometimes being alone is just what the doctor
ordered. Sometimes the doctor is your boyfriend,
and he’s banging most of the nursing staff.
Sometimes you just need a little space.
Rachel attempts to collect her thoughts in this
wilderness retreat. Alone, she realizes that most
of her thoughts are about fucking.
If the foolish M.D. could read Rachel's mind,
he'd be pitching a tent too.
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A cowboy, an Indian and a black guy were walking
along, talking.
The Indian said, “Once we were very many. Now we are
only a few.”
The black guy said, “Once we were only a few. Now
we are very many.”
The cowboy said, “That’s *cause we haven’t played
cowboys and niggers yet.”
Question: What time does Michael Jackson go to bed?
Answer: When the big hand touches the little hand.
A baby polar bear went up to his mother and said,
“Mom, am [| a polar bear?”
His mother said, “Of course you’re a polar bear. I’m a
polar bear, and your father’s a polar bear. Therefore, you
too are a polar bear.”
The cub said, “But am I 100% pure polar bear?”
She said, “Go ask your old man.”
The baby bear went up to his father and said, “Pop, am I
a polar bear? I mean 100% completely and totally pure
polar bear?”
His father said, “Of course you’re a polar bear. I’m a
polar bear, your mother’s a polar bear, both of my parents
were polar bears, both of your mother’s parents were polar
bears, all of our grandparents, both sides, were polar bears.
Yes, you’re 100% completely and totally pure polar bear.
Why do you ask?”
The cub said, “Because I’m fucking freezing.”
The HUSTLER Dictionary defines organ grinder as:
grit in a condom.
Two cows were grazing in a field when one turned to
the other and said, “So, what do you think about this
mad-cow disease?”
The other one replied, “Why the hell would I care?
I’m a tractor.”
92 July HUSTLER
The mother superior of a convent was chastising one of
her young nuns for having sex with a local farm boy.
The nun asked how she could be forgiven and made
pure again.
“Well,” the mother superior said, “you can start by
going to the cellar, getting a lemon and eating it.”
“And that will make me pure?” asked the young nun.
“No,” said the mother, “but it will wipe that damn
smile off your face.”
Question: What was JonBenet Ramsey’s favorite
television show?
Answer: Make Room for Daddy.
One summer night on Mount Olympus, the gods threw
an all-night orgy.
The next morning, one of the gods saw a beautiful
nymph, winked at her and said, “I’m Thor.”
“You think you’re thore?” the nymph responded
incredulously. “I’m tho thore, I can’t pith.”
A lady stumbled into a bar and said to the bartender,
“Beertender, give me a dribble martuni, and put a pickle
in it.”
He gave it to her, and she drank it down.
She said, “Beertender, give me another dribble martu-
ni, and put a pickle in it.”
He gave it to her, and she drank it down, paused and
belched loudly.
She said, “Beertender, give me another dribble martu-
ni, and you better put two pickles in it, becau...because
I’m getting heartburn.”
The bartender said, “Look, lady...it’s not beertender; it’s
bartender. It’s not a martuni; it’s a martini. It’s not a drib-
ble; it’s a double. That’s not a pickle; it’s an onion. And
you haven't got heartburn; you’ve got your left tit in the
ashtray.”
An ugly hooker walked up to a man on the street and
said, “Ill do anything you want for 50 bucks, but only if
you can describe it in three words.”
The guy looked her up and down and said, “All right.
Paint my house.”
HUSTLER Humor jokes are sent to us by our readers. If
you've heard a gut-buster lately, why not send it our way?
Submit your jokes on 3" X 5" cards, mailed in a sealed enve-
lope, to HUSTLER Humor, 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900,
Beverly Hills, CA 90211. If your joke is selected, we'll send you
a check for $50. Sorry —we cannot return submissions.
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At 9:30 a.m. on Thursday, January 9, the
first day of 1997’s Consumer Electronics
Show (CES), a 21-year-old blonde sits in a
Las Vegas, Nevada, hotel room having her
hair and makeup done.
Until a few months ago, the blonde was
a Norwegian exchange student named Inga.
She lived with an American host family in
San Diego, California, and attended a com-
munity-college program in cooking and
restaurant management. Boredom and a
thirst for adventure brought Inga to an ama-
teur dance contest at a local juice bar,
where she was discovered by a XXX-video
director and offered $3,000 to star in her
very own adult feature. After a few days’
consideration, Inga took the cash.
Taped in a warehouse, Inga’s first scene
began with two sister flesh stars smearing
her skin with psychedelic paints, French-
kissing her from top to bottom and finger-
ing her orifices full of lubricant. It ended
with Inga engaging in oral, vaginal and
anal sex with a well-hung porn stud, who
baptized her entry into adult video with a
Show us your pussy, Elska. Do you like a girl to lick your pussy, Elska? This splashy money-shot to the face.
chrome dildo is electrified, Elska.... When a beautiful, 21-year-old blonde _ Today at the CES, Inga makes her pub-
makes her porn debut at the 1997 CES, in Las Vegas, Nevada, the chorus of lic debut as a porn star. Her chosen stage
ne B/S 2 OE EE ne name is Elska, which means to make love.
2s rus : akes a bone- owl. : ait :
ONVES TUSHING NEL COT cs 8 She will be signing promotional photos at
the convention booth of Xplor Media, the
manufacturer and distributor of her adult-
video star turn, Here Comes Elska!
“Please, don’t make me look like a
streetwalker,” Elska instructs the makeup
girl in clear, pleasantly accented English.
* * »
An hour later, Elska is in a cab on her
way to the Sands Expo Center, scrutinizing
her reflection in a compact mirror.
“I look like a streetwalker,” she com-
plains, licking her finger to daub off the
blue shadow that the makeup girl applied in
thick layers around the green Norse eyes.
Elska’s wide, pillow lips are painted a
shocking red. She kisses a napkin several
times, dulling the brightness.
“I’m comfortable with the way I look
naturally,” Elska explains. “The only part
of my body I don’t like,” she says, looking
down at her five-inch-heel sandals, “are my
toes. I’ve always thought they were ugly.”
Ugly toes or not, Elska stops traffic as
she emerges from the taxi, a 6-0 blonde in
silver hotpants. She wears a metallic-tone
halter top, loose-knit like chain mail, over
her uplifting, silicone-free, D-size breasts.
A squat, bald man, whose dome top bare-
ly reaches as high as Elska’s nipples, looks
up at her, flaring his nostrils, dreaming big.
“Hi there!” Elska shoots him a friendly
smile and sashays past. “I tried to start off
to a good foot this morning, so I'll have a
good day,” Elska prattles as she is swal-
lowed by the throng entering the Sands
Expo. “Which foot to start with? I thought
when | got out of my bed. But I decided it
didn’t matter which one went first,
because both my feet are happy today.”
PROFILE BY EVAN WRIGHT * ILLUSTRATION BY MITCH O'CONNELL
eliska Elska makes her first contact with a porn-queen colleague when Jasmin St. Clair, notorious star
of a 300-man gang-bang video, barrels across her path, jostling Elska’s boob with her elbow.
The Adult Entertainment wing of the | Clair, notorious star of a 300-man gang-
CES is located in a monumental, window- |
less concrete space normally used as the
Sands Expo parking garage. The vast interi- _
or is as cozy as the hull of a battleship, but
the crowd—more than 100,000 people
drawn by the lure of technology and flesh
will enter in the next three days—creates a
claustrophobic atmosphere.
Adult-entertainment exhibition booths
are set up along aisles jammed like car-
nival midways. Lights flash on glitzy
displays for companies hawking fuck
videos, online sleaze, bondage gear and
rubber novelties, such as fake vaginas
casted from the pussy molds of today’s
top porn stars.
Elska’s eyes flit to the other glammed-
out skin-star aspirants roaming the hall. |
Feral brunettes in latex bikinis, titanic-tit-
ted blondes in bra tops so pointy, they
could take an eye out, and twitchy red-
heads in chains attract attention like glam-
orous carnival freaks.
The fans, gawking mouth breathers
with Sony and IBM corporate badges from
the mainstream CES exhibitions, circulate
in clumps, aiming video cams and zoom |
lenses at the cavalcade of ass cheeks, bal-
looning breasts and fuckable faces.
Elska makes her first contact with a
porn-queen colleague when Jasmin St.
|
}
bang video, barrels across her path, jostling
Elska’s boob with her elbow.
“Excuse me,” Elska blurts, painfully
surprised.
St. Clair dodges eye contact and wig-
gles past, aiming her snoot at the ceiling.
“If she was a cartoon,” Elska momen-
tarily fumes, “I’d draw an equal sign next
to her head and the word bitch.”
ak * *
The Xplor Media booth advertises
itself with a ten-foot-high mural depicting
Eve in an Edenic hemp garden below an
ascendant S&M angel. Though Elska’s
video has yet to be released, pornophiles
seeking autographs line up as soon as she
takes her position behind the counter.
Elska’s first admirer is a 250-pound
behemoth with a hairy belly popping out
from under a T-shirt depicting three bears
whizzing beer piss on a flaming log. His |
glasses are smudged from continually
greasy, red nose.
“Check out my video, mister,” Elska
| poking them up as they slide down his —
says, proudly gesturing to the pink Here |
Comes Elska! box covers adorning the |
wall behind her. “You’re guaranteed to
like it. I’m the star.”
Elska is still chattering as she bends
over to sign more photos. Her ass picks
“Baby, if I ever leave you—shoot me!”
96
July HUSTLER
up a dance beat drifting over from a dis-
tant booth and begins to shake.
* ae *
By early afternoon, Elska is still signing
and dancing when three figures dressed in
matching safari vests approach: a 6-4 black
man with a proud, leonine face; a shorter
black man with dreadlocks stuffed under a
floppy beret; and an elfin blonde with a
hesitant smile. They introduce themselves
as Max Hardcore’s film crew—Darren
(tall, leonine), G (floppy beret) and Ashley.
“Max sent us over to invite you to
appear in one of his movies,” G informs
Elska, throwing an arm over her shoulders.
“That scary dude in the cowboy hat?”
Elska squirms away, laughing. “No way!
He’s mean!”
“Hey, Max is actually a very cool
dude,” Darren states. “What he does on
screen is just an act. It’s a character.”
“He’s only got a little bitty peener!”
says G, holding up two fingers. “He’s not
a heavy pounder either.”
“I'll have to think about it,” Elska says
skeptically.
“We're heading out to the parking lot
later on to partake in some herbal smoke,”
G informs Elska. “Care to join us?”
“Yeah, I need to kick it a little later on.”
* * a
Emboldened by the favorable attention
she’s received, Elska sneaks away from
Xplor to gauge her prospects with other
video manufacturers.
She is greeted warmly at the Evil
Angel booth, hosted by John “Buttman”
Stagliano and Gregory Dark.
“You are looking beautiful, sweetheart,”
says Victor, a barrel-bellied, gravel-voiced
Evil Angel salesman.
“You've just done your first video?”
Stagliano asks, turning Elska sideways,
appraising her legs and butt.
“Hell, John,” Victor guffaws, slapping a
ham fist onto Elska’s rump, “you can shoot
her in a video next week, but I want to
know if this gal’s free for a drink tonight!”
Gregory Dark hangs back, rubbing the
goatee on his amiably satanic face as
smoke curls from a lit cigarette between
his fingers. Observing Elska, he says, “She
looks fresh. Hasn’t been hardened by the
business yet.” Dark tamps his cigarette out
in a plastic cup. “A guy walking down the
street sees a girl like Elska, and he wants
to say, ‘Hey! Bend over, bitch! I’m going
to stick my dick in your ass!’ The impulse
is strong, but he knows it’s wrong to do
that. It makes him feel weird. I try to
encapsulate that weirdness in my movies.”
Dark approaches Elska and slides his
arm up her back, drawing her ear close to
(continued on page 106)
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY MATTI KLATT “
Though he’s an expert at getting in and out of tight situations, there
is oneysafe Rick has never cfacked. Caught up in the thrill of the
offen, he-takes a shot at Kim’s vault.
“What about the cops?” worries Kim. — -—.
“Fuck the police,” says Rick. “if they haven't caught us by now,
we've got all night.” «
Kim eagerly yields to Rick’s drill, offering up all the spoils in
her treasury.
Rick spins Kim through a series of combinations, forgetting that
in heists, like sex, timing is everything.
A flashing red light follows their climax, signifying the end of one
hard time and the start of another.
- —- ~ a ] ye
> beams
a
Eiska Continuing to hold her, Dark says,
(continued from page 96)
“Show these guys your pussy.” Elska nervously unbuttons her
hotpants, revealing white-lace panties. “Go on, baby,” Dark murmurs. “It’s okay. Show them what a slut you are.”
his lips. He whispers, “You're really cute,
baby, and you’re turning these guys on.”
Elska giggles.
Continuing to hold her, Dark says,
“Show these guys your pussy.”
Elska nervously unbuttons her hot-
pants, revealing white-lace panties.
“Go on, baby,” Dark murmurs. “It’s
okay. Show them what a slut you are.”
Elska stares ahead at Stagliano and
Victor, who look back expectantly. Her fin-
gers comply with Dark’s suggestion as if a
spell has been cast on them. They wheedle
into the front panel of her panties and pull it
aside, exposing a Mohawk stripe of pubic
hair and a fleshy mound studded with a
silver piercing through the labia.
“Go on, open it up, play with it,” Dark
urges her.
Elska sinks her fingers into the fold |
and spreads open the pink walls.
“If you’re free next Tuesday,” Dark
tells her, “I can use you in my next video,”
* * *
to Elska. “Do you like doing XXX?”
“I don’t know yet,” Elska exhales.
“But I like doing scary things. I was trip-
ping on ecstasy when I first had lesbian
sex with my girlfriend. Then her boyfriend |
came by, and we went bungee jumping
off a bridge in San Diego. I’m really scared
of heights.”
“Are you into chicks?” Ashley asks,
staring expectantly at Elska.
“Chicks are cool, but there’s no substi-
tute for dick.” Elska passes the roach to G.
“You're awfully pretty,” Ashley says
quietly, as if intending it only for Elska.
“Ashley’s into the whole bisexual
thing,” G croaks, holding down a lungful
of smoke. “Maybe we should have an
orgy in our room tonight?”
Ashley reddens.
“The thing is,” Darren interrupts, fix-
ing Elska with a stern look. “Ultimately,
G and | are going to go off from Max and
| get into a whole new consciousness with
In the parking lot, Max Hardcore’s |
Silverado crew truck fills with dense, med-
icinal smoke. Darren and G sit up front, |
keeping their eyes peeled for security.
Ashley and Elska sit in the back.
“Max is pretty cool,” Ashley explains,
“aside from these ridiculous safari outfits
adult. People are coming together. We
want to do something with a conscious-
ness of togetherness for the environment.”
“Yeah,” G nods, getting into the idea.
“Like, we'll do a movie, Fuck for the
| Environment, you know?”
he makes us wear.” Ashley passes the joint —
THIS. 1S AN AWFUL
RELATIONSHIP... ALL
WE EVER 00 1s FucK/
106
“What were you guys doing before
you worked for Max?” Elska asks.
“I was into a lot of different things,”
THIS Is A TERRIFIC
RELATIONSHIP... ALL
WE EVER Do Is Fuck /
July HUSTLER
Darren allows, cryptically.
“I was delivering newspapers,” G says,
careful not to burn his fingers on cherried
remnants of spliff.
* * *
Elska shares a room at the Sahara Hotel
across town with Stephanie, a 24-year-old
University of Michigan graduate who
works as Xplor Media’s publicist. The
main focus of Stephanie’s job is keeping an
eye on Elska, who is sore from a long day
walking on spike heels. “Tomorrow, I
won't forget my sneakers,” Elska says.
“They’re medicine for my feet.”
Stephanie drops onto the cot she will
be sleeping on; Elska leaps onto the
queen-size bed. “You know the cool thing
about a hotel bed, Stephanie? You can
jump on it.”
To demonstrate, Elska hops up and
down on her bed like a trampoline. “You
know what I’m going to hate about get-
ting older, Stephanie?”
“What’s that, Elska?” Stephanie mum-
bles, face down on her cot.
“My tits will sag,” Elska answers, still
hopping. “But I'll have a lot of money by
then. I can afford surgery to lift them. Or
maybe I won’t care. I’d love to have a
hotel up in the mountains, where I could
serve people really good food, and they
could have massages. People could come
there to get away and feel good about life.
That would be the bomb.”
% * *
One of the odder exhibits at the Sands
Expo Center belongs to a small company
called PES, an acronym for Physio Electro
Stimulators. Unable to afford a larger
booth, PES’s feature product—an omi-
nous steel-frame chair with leg clamps and
wrist straps—takes up nearly all of its dis-
play area. The PES chair’s most unusual
features are its two pneumatically pro-
pelled, metal-plated, current-conducting
dildos. One chromed phallus, attached to a
metal armature at the front of the seat, is
designed to enter the occupant’s vagina;
the other, gleaming beneath the seat like a
miniature rocket, is aimed at the occu-
pant’s anus. Electric cables snaking out
from the base of each mechanical penetra-
tor feed into a black control box with volt-
age regulators and a three-prong wall plug.
During the first two days of the con-
vention, the operators of the PES booth
have tried in vain to recruit a porn star to
submit to a full, electrically charged
demonstration of their product to be pho-
tographed for a layout in an adult maga-
zine. On the third day, Elska passes by.
“Sure, I'll do it,” Elska says enthusias-
tically. “You want me to get in it now?”
(continued on page 116)
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Siska Dave momentarily unstraps Elska’s wrists and allows her
vaginal lips. The dildo’s penetration resumes, Elska’s fleshy mound englutting the steel tube.
“Um, there are laws against making it
fully operational in a public venue,” stam-
mers Dante Amore, inventor of the PES
chair, looking uneasily at the crowd. “It
would be preferable to conduct the demon-
stration tonight on the PES premises.”
* * *
Located in a light-industrial zone ten
minutes from the Vegas strip, the PES
warehouse consists of a showroom and
workshop.
Elska sits in the workshop amid lathes,
drill presses and coils of electric wire. A
stylist hired by the magazine shooting the
layout applies her makeup.
Pacing behind Elska’s head in the
makeup chair, Dante Amore sips from a
plastic cup filled with vodka. His eyes
have the frantic look of a visionary always
on the lookout for an ambush by skeptics.
“What we have found through decades
of research in carefully applied, oscillating
electro-stimulation is that we can prolong
the human orgasm from a few moments to
20 minutes or more,” Amore says. “Do
you realize how profound an impact this
will have on how humanity experiences
pleasure across every continent on Earth?”
When Dante steps out of the room,
Elska, who has been listening from the
makeup chair, opens her eyes. “Dude, is he
\_ gonna plug that shit in? It’s kind of scary.”
Dante zooms back into the room, re-
fueled on another cup of booze.
stress associated with conducting my
“The:
research is positively enormous. I fre- |
quently have three-day depressive periods,
during which I am unable to get out |
of bed.”
Elska emerges from the stylist’s chair
an hour later with a hard-edged, carnivo-
rous look—less gaudy than her previous |
makeup jobs—that pleases her as she
stares into the mirror.
Elska slips out of her robe and stands |
completely nude as the stylist sprays her
body with silicone in order to help ease
her into red-latex boots and a bustier.
In the showroom, Dave, a thin 50-year-
old with a brown toupee and orthodontia
that whistles when he speaks, scarcely
contains his excitement as Elska enters.
“She’s beautiful,” Dave whispers.
“The look of true orgasmic ecstasy that |
you'll see on that girl’s exquisite face will
be like nothing you’ve ever seen before.”
“Okay,” Elska smiles uneasily, looking
down at the straps Dave tightens over her |
wrists and ankles. “I hope you don’t kill
me, because I want to go dancing tonight.”
Dave runs across the carpet and turns up
the volume on a hidden stereo system,
drowning out Elska’s voice with a Pink
Floyd CD. An ethereal voice flows from
(continued from page 106)
to snap out the metal stud from her
the speakers, The lunatic is in the grass....
Clutching the control unit, Dave hits a
button that propels a dildo toward Elska’s
outer labia. Abruptly, he halts the projec-
tile just as it makes contact with her flesh.
“My goodness, dear, you have a pierc-
ing down there. That’s an electrical con-
ductor,” Dave frets. “We'll have to
remove it.”
Dave momentarily unstraps Elska’s
wrists and allows her to snap out the metal
stud from her vaginal lips. The dildo’s pen-
etration resumes, Elska’s fleshy mound
englutting the steel tube. She rocks her
pelvis up, positioning her vaginal canal to
accept the entire length of the probe.
“That’s kind of cool. It doesn’t hurt.”
Elska looks down at the metal arm hold-
ing the dildo in place—ten inches deep,
pushing up against her cervix.
“You’re gonna love it, sweetheart,”
Dave whistles. “I’ll start the current.” He
hits the switch on the black box.
“Aayy!” Elska’s body tenses as the
restraints click, holding her wrists and
ankles in place.
Dave twists a dial. “It'll feel real good.
I’m just gonna switch it to AC.” Dave
plugs an extension cord into the black box.
Elska squirms. Her thighs clench, and
she sucks in air.
(continued on page 138)
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he Dei ‘ae
“Hey, sicko! That's art—not a HUSTLER centerfold!”
rw
isi j i i king love
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stars would surely pale in comparison.
Photo by Husband
i
Mo is a 23-year-old firefighter from Springfield, Ohio. Off-duty
she stays active by playing volleyball i
) and b
four-alarm fantasy involves aes ieee
"Michelle, a 22-year-old housewife/mom from Gretna,
unreturnabl.
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ng another firefighter use his
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Photo by Boyfriend
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E © ar — ati WY “|
Pt Bo A=8 2 Rote) or
Modal's name Hobbies
Any alias, nickname, stage or pro name
Sg aT ST Se
ooo Mameto be published ’ y ical Samual Fantasies Pociwie ae i ore 1 iain ‘
Date of birth Phone (include area code)
Model's Social Security number
Address Photographer/Cameraperson
Addrass
FORM
Se Ww
NOTE: PRIZE MONEY SENT TO MODEL ONLY.
Stir consideration of $250 tor photographs OF $500-for-avideor hereby
give HUSTLER Magazine, its affiliates, successors and assigns, and
those acting under its permission or upon its authority, full worldwide
rights and exclusive permission in perpetuity to copyright and/or
publish any photographs or videos of myself with or without my name
and to make any changes or any additions whatsoever to such
photographs, video footage, portraits or any of the above information,
whether true or fictional, | understand that editorial matter will accom-
pany these photos, and that my video footage may be accompanied by
commentary and can be distributed with other affiliated videos, and
that my photographs or video image can be published in other
HUSTLER affiliated magazines. | certify that | am of full age and am
possessed of full legal capacity to execute the foregoing authorization.
OR 5 =z AN T ODEL ond
SUBJECT TO MONETARY DAMAGES AND/OR
CUTION.
CRIMINAL PROSE!
|
| | DECLARE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY
| THAT ALL OF THE INFORMATION | HAVE
| GIVEN ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT.
Chiy Date ip Model's legal signature (use separate sheets for more than one model)
This rooftop siren is Landon from Dayton, Ohio. A
manicurist by trade, the 23-year-old spends her free
time watching horror movies, dancing and sunbathing.
Her fantasy is to strap on a dildo and fuck her fiance.
We hope he’s a fan of horror too.
Photo by Fiance
“‘alenda
r P
Y Flan fora duet Wi
Stacy is a college student
from Houston, Texas. The
21-year-old beauty likes to
shop and snow ski. She
wants to have sex with one
or more girls and become
a successful model. Looks
like she’s got all the
necessary equipment.
Photo by Boyfriend
th’ Stay
is hothouse flower is Rose, a 40-year-old secretary from
San Francisco, California. Her hobbies are writing and
horseback riding. She dreams of making an adult video
starring herself and five to seven handsome, well-hung
men. Rose by any other name would still swell our meat.
Photo by Friend
surely the pride
Dominique says
d reading comics. She dreams
rofessional wrestler or surfer.
nd someone willing to ride
Dominique’s gentle swells.
Photo by Friend
Wihdescribed “slacker,” Dominique ts
of Dumas, Texas. A 21-year-old teacher,
she enjoys wrestling an
about having sex with a p
It shouldn’t be hard to fi
Believe it iy aa
not, this #
librarian, Katie hail nen”
mp
Id stunner ie me
» Florida, and
n from Dallas, Texas.
> is ; .
This loyely creature Is a wicie
ies range !
Her hobbies
man. She has fant ai
club and taking her how
, fantasize about a p!
ng for her
tiful woman in
ith her husband. We
garden of Eden.
Photo by Friend
sies about
a
ne to share w
cnic lunch in the
— ee
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Proof of a hi
year-old sty de
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2 Cot Angel, a 21.
= = c hicago, Illinois. Her lobbies
fae ren t, a rat and fishing, She “Stas
— i ng her lover . i
somset. In er, a beach and a yj
S Our bells, does she get her << "hie
Ss.
ther Power con
Elizabeth is the hottest hair’
stylist in Lithia Springs, Georgia. When
she’s not busy partying, Elizabeth enjoys
having sex, alone or coupled. Her fantasy «
is to find herself ina padded room with |
whips, handcuffs, Janine, Jenna Jameson, >
a strap-on and her husband. We're not -
too sure about getting the girls, but a’
padded room could certainly be arranged.
Photo by Husband
reading and gambjj a. Dancing, swimming
Her fantasy is
Sure bet for fun,
Photo by Fiance
|
Ks, ii ee Be ALS
aCe RT SOOT Oe een
rant is Della Mae
, limber ent M
2 hnician
au ioe xas. An embroidery tec
from Irving, Te
whose hobbies inc ;
and making amateur Vv!
Mae dreams of appearin
-al in a movie. We hope to see
tol blooming on the
ex, swinging, swapping
any aces: a3 qear-old Della
g with adult star Nikki
this rose of Texas
big screen soon.
Photo by Boyfriend
This supple-skinned beauty
is Honey, a secretary from
Houston, Texas. Twenty-
eight-year-old Honey enjoys
buying sexy clothes and
exotic dancing. She fanta-
sizes about trying double
penetration, but stays busy
with group sex in the mean-
time. Go ahead, Honey,
double your pleasure, double
your fun.
Photo by Girlfriend
Jen, a 23-year-old entrepreneur from
Ontario, Canada, enjoys in-line |
skating, aerobics, volleyball and sex, |
Her fantasies involve everything {
Sexual, anytime, anywhere. Just >
another enterprising young Beay er,
Photo by Boyfriend &
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| t, Massachusetts, is a 26-year-old
‘arrie, fr } rset, Mass setts, I: \
arrie, from Sommerset, sachusett ek corer
| customer-service rep. She enjoys trips to — nie sehen
| Pe ; ;y is to have a tor ‘
| ivi assages. Her fantasy is to
! siving massages. fasy | cabana ghee
| aaa with one of her girlfriends while —. apes
: : shes and jerks off. Some guys have a
| “ee ‘ Photo by Friend
4
;
3
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Tara Lynn is a 31-year-old secretary
from Wichita, Kansas. She likes
cooking, gardening, photography
and playing the guitar. Her fantasy
is to test-drive a black Mitsubishi
3000 GT at speeds upward of 100
mph. Once Tara’s running smoothly,
she plans to pull over and let the
salesman test-drive her.
Photo by Friend
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! _De
Send Dinner Party, a 108-
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HOT LIVE 1 ON ACTION
Elska
(continued from page 116)
“I’m adjusting it down, adjusting it
down,” Dave promises.
“It’s tickling in my stomach,” Elska
informs him.
Dave fiddles with the controls for 20
minutes until his brow shines with per-
spiration, and trails of sweat roll down
from Elska’s armpits. Each attempt to
increase the voltage results in Elska
thrashing against her restraints.
“I don’t think this is going to work
out,” Elska says, looking as miserable as
a dental patient who has just undergone a |
root canal.
Crestfallen, Dave concedes defeat. He
unplugs the dildo from Elska’s taxed ori-
fice and unties her from the chair.
Within a few minutes, Elska’s spirits
have climbed back to their usual
buoyancy. “I don’t want to disappoint
those pervert guys,” Elska tells Stephanie
with a knowing smile, “but their idea
sucks. Who wants to fuck without a nice,
warm person to feel close to?”
* * *
Changed into jeans and a sweater,
Elska joins Darren, G and Ashley in their
hotel room for her last night in Las Vegas.
Between hits of smoke, Ashley and
Elska dance to a boom box. G and Darren
get into a heavy discussion about various
international conspiracies.
138
“You know, man, there’s a car engine
that runs entirely on water. Car companies
bought up the patent and suppressed it.”
“What about that car Henry Ford
invented? The entire vehicle was made
out of hemp. DuPont snatched that suck-
er up in the 1940s. They knew hemp
would ruin their plans for worldwide
domination of the nylon and plastics mar-
ket. Shit, man, anyone can grow hemp.”
“Practically grow a car in your back-
yard. Run it on water.”
Elska and Ashley drop onto the couch
and cross their legs, facing each other.
“Do you think you'll do more
movies?” Ashley asks.
“It’s kind of weird seeing myself on
the screen. Cause it’s not really me. It
seems like a stupid way to get famous—
people not knowing who you are. The way
I really am is what I’m like here, talking to
you. This is me. But who knows anything
about me who sees me in a XXX movie?”
“I guess it’s hard not to like the
money,” Ashley points out.
“Yeah, in a day or two I can earn what
I make in a month working in a bar,”
Elska enthuses. “Ill probably do more
movies, but if my mom ever finds out in
Norway, she’ll kill me. She still thinks
I’m in cooking school trying to find an
American dream.” @
July HUSTLER
DePew
(continued from page 80)
whenever anyone says anything to him.
DePew arrives and immediately
requests a drink. Bobby had called during
the day to make sure he showed up. R. J.
turns the discussion to the snuff film, and
finally the four men sit down together in
the same room to discuss the plan. They
talk about possible locations for the film-
ing, although a location is never agreed on.
They also never agree on whether to kid-
nap a child or not, or whether to buy or
rent a car. None of the plans are ever final-
ized. But DePew’s role, as before, is to
provide technical expertise. A devotee of
True Detective-type magazines, he always
knows just the right tool for the job: what
kind of clothes to wear when committing a
crime; the merits of chloroform over ether;
the superiority of plastic tie wraps over
handcuffs. He’s a bit of a criminal know-it-
all: At one point, he cautions the agents to
turn on the television so their conversation
can’t be overheard in the hall. (It was the
lamp he should have been worried about:
That’s where the hidden camera was.)
DePew’s zeal for technical prowess
handed the prosecution what was probably
the most damaging piece of evidence
against him. When various schemes to sub-
due the (still imaginary) child were dis-
cussed, Dan volunteered to find out how to
make chloroform. He’d used nitrous oxide
in sex and had experimented with passing
out as a sexual thrill. Following this meet-
ing, he says he became obsessed with the
idea of trying out chloroform with his
lover. Oblivious to the FBI agents trailing
behind him everywhere he went, he
strolled to the library and looked it up. To
prove conspiracy, there has to be at least
one “overt act” in furtherance of the con-
spiracy. For the government, the trip to the
library sealed the case.
A week after the four-way meeting,
Bobby, now back in California, phones
Ashley, who announces that he can’t take
off work as promised. And no, he hasn’t
had time to look into a vehicle.
Next, R. J. phones Dan DePew at work.
Has Dan found out about a vehicle? Dan
hasn’t. R. J. tells Dan that Ashley’s been
scouting for one and reminds him that he
and Bobby will be back in two weeks.
Another week passes. R. J. calls DePew
again, who says abruptly, “I’ve decided not
to be involved.” R. J. stutters, “You what?”
Dan says he hasn’t heard from Ashley,
doesn’t trust Ashley, and everything’s
going too fast. Nervously, he says, “I’m
still open-minded for one if we can devel-
op a rapport, but this one I’m definitely
passing on.” R. J. launches into damage-
control mode: What if it were just the three
(continued on page 163)
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De es ew Any small
and reminds Dan that there are “other peo-
ple involved,”—in other words, his mobster
boss. But they can move the date back if
Dan wants. R. J. implores Dan to meet with
them again in D.C. Dan says he doesn’t
want them to fly out for nothing. He repeats |
that he doesn’t want to be involved this
time, but leaves the future open. R. J. trans-
lates, “Well, the current schedule is what
you have a problem with.’’ Dan agrees, but
insists that he won’t be involved with
Ashley. R. J. assures him they all just need |
to sit down and work out their problems—
and that Ashley needs to be in for Bobby’s
sake. He asks for a favor. Would Dan call
Bobby if he hears from Dave? Dan agrees.
DePew may have been attempting to
get himself out, but that doesn’t mean he
wasn’t still party to a conspiracy. Or so
the judge would later rule. Legally, it’s
not that easy. The only way to withdraw
from a conspiracy, the jury was instruct-
ed, is to do something to defeat its pur-
(continued from page 138)
-town cop with a modem can now patrol the online fantasies of the nation and
devise elaborate entrapments to transform them into conspiracies.
of them? Maybe? Bobby gets on the line |
pose. The law demands heroism, and |
DePew hadn’t shown that.
Six days later, R. J. calls Dan yet
again. No, Dan still hasn’t heard from
Ashley. The agents hadn’t heard from him
either. Ashley had dropped from sight—
they’d been unable to reach him for at
least nine days. Was Ashley trying to
withdraw also?
R. J. says, “We just wanted to let you
know we’re dead serious. Pun intended.”
Five days later, the FBI arrested Daniel
DePew at work. Dean Ashley Lambey was
taken into custody the same day.
* * *
The prosecution did not have an uphill
battle to win this case. They introduced
DePew’s sex accouterments as evidence:
nooses, manacles, leather masks, paddles
with metal studs, videotapes and stills of
S&M sex between DePew and various
lovers. Their point, apparently, was that
anyone weird enough to do the things
DePew did in bed was weird enough to do
anything: What’s the difference between
being burned with a cigarette, or stran-
gled, or beaten, and killing a child?
“S&M in this trial doesn’t mean sado-
masochism,” argued U.S. Attorney Mike
Smythers. “It really means Satan and
Murder!” Daniel DePew, he sputtered,
“would have made a good first assistant
for Josef Mengele or Adolf Eichmann.”
DePew had managed to raise $25,000
for a shoestring defense. With no money
to spend on investigators or experts, attor-
ney James Lowe banked everything on
making one strong argument: DePew
knew where the line between fantasy and
teality was, Lowe told the jury, and was
in it for the fantasy. It was the agents who
couldn’t tell the difference between fanta-
sy and conspiracy. DePew was a sado-
masochist, yes, but not a pedophile.
DePew had never inflicted any actual
harm on anyone, and all his sex partners
were alive and kicking. The violent |
details were just “hot talk,” designed to
get Bobby and R. J. into bed. Yes, fantasy _
involves a certain amount of reality, and
yes, DePew was into bizarre stuff, and
yes, he knows he represents the most |
unpopular defendant of the year. But the
jury can’t decide against DePew because
they’re horrified by his sex life, can they?
Rebutting the argument that DePew
was merely fantasizing, Smythers
demanded, “Who wants to put their child
up first? Which child do we turn over to
him to test this and see if he’s actually
going to carry this through?”
The jury took four short hours to
decide, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that
sexual fantasy is synonymous with intent.
At the sentencing hearing, Judge T. S.
Ellis told DePew that his was “the most
heinous crime I have presided over,” then
handed down a 33-year sentence.
* * ok
This is a true crime story about a crime
that never happened. Daniel DePew sat
around a hotel room trading detailed
kinky fantasies with two undercover cops
who’d invited him there in the first place
and who spurred him on by sharing their
own equally kinky fantasies, while a team
of FBI agents eavesdropped from the next
room. The cops and FBI agents are still
roaming the streets; DePew will be in
prison most of his life. At the medium-
security facility where I met him, the
average sentence is 12 years. DePew will
watch men who have actually committed
murder, rape and child molestation get-
ting out decades earlier than he will.
The United States v. DePew was the
first nationwide computer-bulletin-board
prosecution case. As we’re lately seeing
with the Internet, it won’t be the last: Any
small-town cop with a modem can now
patrol the online fantasies of the nation
and devise elaborate entrapments to trans-
form them into conspiracies.
Daniel DePew may be guilty of having
a sexual style that’s not to everyone’s
taste and sexual fantasies that are grisly
and abhorrent—although not much more
so than your average slasher film. He’s
certainly guilty of letting his fantasies
overcome better judgment. But when the
government starts jailing citizens for
having fantasies, how many hundreds of
new prisons will it take to hold America’s
new criminal class? @&
“Always wipe your ass from front to back....”
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HUSTLER
PORNO INFERNO
August’s HUSTLER draws fire with an arsenal of sex bombs
triggered to explode on contact. An overheated vixen shows
us why she prefers crotchless stockings in the summer; an
olive-skinned beauty lets her sweet breast fruit ripen in the
sun; a slutty stewardess and her high-flying girlfriend fire up
their engines and melt the tarmac; a cutie-pie serves a slice of
cherry on the dining-room table; a dirty-mouthed blonde gets
off on phone sex; and a dirt biker kicks up a mess when he
rides a road slut hard and spills oil all over her face. In
August, HUSTLER’s all-star cream team plays hard balls:
Choke up on your bat; our Honeys are pitching with heat.
SELLING OUT LIKE HOTCAKES ROSSER E asa E EH a)
Wherever you stand on the issues of guilt and race, one ‘ (ee :
verdict in the O. J. trial is unanimous: When it comes to
tallying up the take, it’s been a win/win deal for all players
involved. From book contracts to TV ratings to T-shirt
sales, even the losers have walked away rich. In O. J.,
Inc.; How to Win Fame and Residual Income From One
Decapitation and an Incidental Evisceration, Articles
Editor Dylan Ford offers a comprehensive analysis of this
fast-growing industry. Maybe you'll get lucky, and a
celebrity will chop up someone you know,
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A
STRIPPER BURNED
At the Mitchell Brothers’ O'Farrell Theater in San Fran-
cisco, beautiful strippers put on the nastiest sex show on
Earth. Almost anything, from double-headed dildos to fist-
fucking, can be had for a price. Now a group of former
dancers is suing for millions, and more than 100 of the
club’s current strippers have banded together to fight back.
In Trouble in Paradise: The San Francisco Stripper Wars,
Associate Editor David Gordon tours the Tenderloin and re-
ports on the showdown at the O'Farrell corral.
HOLD YOUR FIRE
When it comes to coming, gentlemen know it’s ladies first
But what if you didn’t have to come at all? In “A Spiritual
Guide to Holding Loads: Ejaculation Control by Ishtara,”
Sex Play correspondent Ruth Mallet explores the ancient jizz
wisdom of the East. Bits & Pieces finds out if there’s def
after death with a look at deceased rappers’ new discs;
Buttman gets into bad shit in Erotic Entertainment; and
Beaver Hunt cools off by slipping into America’s skinny-
dipping holes. August is fire season in HUSTLER. When
our Honeys hit the flash point, get ready to man your hose.
AUGUST HUSTLER ON SALE JUNE 3, 1997
HUSTLER’s Web site is coming now at
http://www.hustler.com
July HUSTLER
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