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THE AXXLUST 
FOR DEATH, 


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wena is of an adult nature. This literature is not intended tor minors, and under fig eireumstances are they = place orders for merchandise offered herein 


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MUST BE 18+ © VISASMC 


Volume 22 Number 12 


May 1996 


9 Two-Million-Dollar Muffs Take Two! 
And Ann Landers Ungagged 
Edited by Aaron Lee 


11 More Ink From Our Readers 


18 | 


1996 Beaver Hunt Grand Prize Finalist #2 


Photography by Matti Klatt 


26 
29 


More Cushion for Your Pushin’ 


Enter a Readers’ Contest Today! 
Edited by Evan Wright 


41 


Guilt-Free Infidelity: Married Men 
and Prostitutes 
by Roberto Santiago 


44 The Professional Approach 
A Golden-Tongued Primer 
by Byron Birdsong, M.F.A., Ph.D. 


47 


Photography by Clive McLean 


74 


78 


113 


Photography by Matti Klatt 


Photography by Matti Klatt 


A Day in the Life of a Tokyo Gangster 
Profile by Chaz Worthington 


Centerfold Photography by Clive McLean 
Edited by E van Wright 


Why Are America’s Porn Stars 
Killing Themselves? 
Report by Marc Medoff 


Photography by James Baes 


It's Open Season! 


Only 


= (12 issues) 


Start my 12-issue HUSTLER subscription for only $39.95, 
and send my copy of HUSTLER’s FetisHes FREE! 


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Signature 


Olfer expires August 12, 1996 A56000 


HUSTLER 


LARRY FLYNT 
editor and publisher 


JIM KOHLS 


president 


DONNA HAHNER 


corporate vice-president 


ALLAN MacDONELL 
executive editor 


W. T. NELSON 
art director 


LISA JENIO 


associate editor 


EVAN WRIGHT 


entertainment editor 


AARON LEE 


humor and cartoon editor 


SCOTT SCHALIN 


contributing editor 


DYLAN FORD 


research director 


S. L. FARBER, copy chief 
M. SMITH, copy editor 
RACHEL STRATTON, editorial assistant 


COMPUTER GRAPHICS 
ANDREA LANDRUM, network systems manager 


BRANDON S. PHILLIPS, 
network systems administrator 


BOBBIE KAMINSKI, MARIE B. QUIROS 
network systems operators 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
ELIZABETH BERRIOS, talent coordinator 


JAMES BAES, MATTI KLATT, 
CLIVE McLEAN, LADI VON JANSKY, 
photographers 


KENNETH DeMARTINES, production designer 
LAURA CODON, photo/talent assistant 
JAYNE CATES, studio director 


PRODUCTION 
KRISTINA ETCHISON, production manager 
MICHELLE JEWORSKI, production coordinator 
ARICIA LEE, production assistant 
JOHN MOZZER, record keeper/film archivist 


ADVERTISING 
ALLEN MAINE, national advertising director 
(213) 951-7907 
MAGGIE CHUN, advertising production director 
GINA J. LEE, advertising production coordinator 


SUBSCRIPTIONS 
TRISH HAMM, subscriptions director 


subscriptions customer service (800) 220-0314 


THOMAS CANDY, executive vice-president 
PERRY GRAYSON, vice-president, advertising 
DAVID WOLINSKY, vice-president, finance 


HUSTLER (ISSN-0149-4635), Vol. 22, No, 12, May 1996. The U.S. edition of 
HUSTLER is published monthly with one exception, twice @ month in August, by 
L.F.P., Inc, at 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211 
Copyright ® 1996 LF-P., inc. All rights reserved. Nothing may be reproduced in 
whole or in part without written permission of the publisher, Return postage 
must accompany all manuscripts, photos, drawings, etc., if they are to be 
returned, and no responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited material. Letters 
sent to HUSTLER will be trested as unconditionally assigned for publication and 
copyright purposes anid as subject to HUSTLER’s right to edit and comment edi 
torially. Any similarity between persons and places depicted in the fiction sec 
tions of this magazine and actual persons or places is purely coincidental, All 
photos posed by professional models except as otherwise noted. Neither said 
photos nor words used to describe them are meant to depict models’ actual 
conduct, statements or personalities. Information concerning models who 
appear in this publication is located at 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Beverly Hills, 
California 90211, under the supervision of John A. Mozzer 


SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION: For subscription customer service, call (800) 
220-0614. U.S. subscriptions: $39.95 for one year (12 issues). Foreign subscrip 
tions: Add $10,00 U.S. funds per year. Single copy, U.S. Edition: $5.99; 
International Edition: $6.99 (add $1 postage per copy); Special Edition: $8.99 
These prices represent HUSTLER’s standard subscription rate and should not 
be confused with special subscription offers sometimes advertised, Change of 
address: Allow six weeks’ advance notice and send in both your old and new 
address. POSTMASTER: Send change of address to: HUSTLER, P.0. Box 474, 
Mt. Morris, IL 61054. Second-class postage paid at Beverly Hills, CA, and at 
additional mailing offices. Printed in the USA. HUSTLER is registered in the U.S 
Patent and Trademark Office 

All nude models are 18 years of age or older, 


Cover photo by Clive McLean 


Women: Can't live with them; can’t 
shove an old sock in their mouths. 
Even if you're the National 
Organization for Women (NOW), 
some women are just too dumb, 
loud and bitchy to be tolerated, 
especially if that woman is Tammy 
Bruce, president of the Los Angeles 
chapter of NOW and HUSTLER’s 
Asshole of the Month for May 1996. 

Tammy Bruce has clawed her 
way from local pest to national 
aggravation upon the hacked-up 
corpse of Nicole Brown Simpson. 
The day that football legend O. J. 
Simpson was acquitted of Nicole's 
murder, Tammy Bruce rounded up 
1,500 supporters for a candlelight 
vigil in Westwood, California. Three 
days later, she led a wailing march 
of 5,000 through 0. J.’s Brentwood 
neighborhood. The seething throng 
stopped short of tarring, feathering, 
stringing up and burning the African 
American descendant of slaves in 
effigy. Still, the effect was as if a 
Ladies Auxiliary Lynch Mob and 
Luncheon Club had convened. 

Two days later, Bruce cemented 
her position as the Al Sharpton of 
women’s rights by heading 500 
highly charged protesters and 
dozens of fully loaded cameras out- 
side NBC Studios in Burbank. NBC 
had planned to run an interview 
with Simpson, but the acquitted 
defendant had canceled. Said Bruce 
of Simpson, speaking for herself: 
“You are not welcome here; you are 
not welcome in our country; you are 
not welcome on our airwaves; you 
are not welcome in our culture.” 

Perhaps, thought some feminists 
of color and white supremacists, 


Bruce might welcome Simpson 
to go back to Africa and take his 
kind with him. 

Bruce appeared on Larry King 
Live and on Nightline. She estab- 
lished her reputation as the Grand 
Wizard of the women’s movement 
by blurting, “what we need to teach 
our children...is not about racism, 
but is about violence against 
women.” 

Bruce, in her role as the David 
Duke of feminist rhetoric, told the 
Los Angeles Times that her fixation 
on spousal abuse above all other 
issues raised by the Simpson trial 
offered “a break from all that talk of 
racism.” And a break from consider- 
ation of Ron Goldman, a murdered 
male who was neither perpetrator 


In an effort 
to overcome perceptions that he 
has not lived up to his genetic 
programming, John F. Kennedy 
Jr. got a job as a magazine pub- 
lisher. The inaugural issue of his 
rag, George, was most notable 
for featuring Cindy Crawford on 
the cover. The magazine, reput- 
edly focused on politics, asks the 
tough questions, such as: What 


does Warren Beatty have to say 
about Washington, women and 
movies? In fluff issue two of the 
bimonthly, John-John complains 
“that we had to do all that heavy 
lifting again and publish yet anoth- 
er issue so soon came as some- 
thing of a shock—to me at least.” 
For issue three, Kennedy fired his 
editor. Larry Flynt Publications 


nor victim of spousal abuse 

The Associated Press reported 
that 33-year-old, former publicist 
Bruce refused an opportunity to dis- 
cuss the Simpson case on a TV pro- 
gram; she did not want “to argue 
with a bunch of black women.” 
Bruce claims to have been misquot- 
ed, but even the Adolf Hitler of gen- 
der equality needs to bunker down 
from her publicity blitz. 

Prior to October 7, 1995 (known 
as Free 0. J. Day), two-legged para- 
site Tammy Bruce was only a small 
screech in the cacophony of 
blowhards that makes up the aural 
landscape of Southern California. 
Bruce was elected president of 
NOW’s L. A. coven in 1989 after 
campaigning as “an open lesbian.” 


Since then, her strident, ego-satu- 
rated rants and pontificating on her 
KFI talk-radio weekend bitch-and- 
moan show have gone largely ignored 
by intelligent, healthy humans. 

Bruce's audience can be divided 
loosely into three groups: people 
who have lost the use of their arms 
and are unable to turn off the radio, 
sick masochists who derive twisted 
pleasure from simultaneously being 
pained by and feeling superior to 
their tormentor, and seven or eight 
smugly unhappy women with whom 
we need not concern ourselves. 

Bruce’s listeners have strong 
reactions to her. “You're nothing but 
a glory hog with an agenda,” opined 
one. To the observation that she is a 
media whore, Bruce responds, 
“Absolutely | am.” 

The national hierarchy of NOW 
formally condemned Bruce for her 
racial insensitivity and demanded an 
apology. “I! will not be silenced,” 
bleated Bruce. The Tammy's mega- 
lomania seems to block her aware- 
ness that the women's movement 
meets enough resistance without 
struggling against perceptions that 
it is the province of PMS-afflicted, 
cat-fighting harpies. 

“| don't worry about people who 
don’t like me,” brags Bruce, whose 
father “disappeared a few months 
before | was born. I'm not sure he 
ever knew about me.” 

No need to worry about whether 
or not he would like her. Who 
wouldn't be proud of a woman who 
has made O. J. Simpson almost 
sympathetic? 

Daddy didn’t raise no Asshole. 
Tammy did that herself. 


hereby extends the offer of an 
editorial internship working on 
our flagship, 
John F. Kennedy Jr. Come into 
the trenches with us, get your 
hands dirty, put pussy over poli- 
tics, learn what it takes to craft a 
great magazine worthy of being 
America’s Best. If you work out, 
we might hire you on full time. 
Don’t be an Asshole. 


HUSTLER, to 


May HUSTLER 


bits & pieces 


DEAR ANN: I’ve read your 
column every day for years. 
Recently, the New Yorker 
quoted you as saying, 
course [the Pope’s] a Polack. 
They’re very anti-woman.” As 
a Polack, I can’t believe my fa- 
vorite advice columnist would 
use such an insensitive slur to 
generalize about an entire eth- 
nic group. Say it ain’t so, Ann. 
—P. J.P. 

The Vatican, Rome 


DEAR P. J. P.: Sounds like 
somebody at the New Yorker is 
yanking your crank. Of course, 
the New Yorker’s a bunch of 
faggots. Faggots have AIDS, 


DEAR ANN: I was outraged 
by your remark about Polacks 
in the New Yorker. Everybody 
knows Polacks aren’t anti- 
woman; Polacks are stupid. 
Leroy 


Harlem, New York 


DEAR LEROY: I stand cor- 
rected—and by a coon, no less. 
Of course, coons are stupid 
and lazy. 


Big Bulges in Tight Genes 


“Of 


DEAR ANN: ['m a nationally 


syndicated advice columnist 


and a card-carrying member of 


the Anti-Defamation League. 
My stupid, senile sister (also 
an advice columnist) doesn’t 
know when to keep her fat 
mouth shut. How can | 
convince the nattering old 
biddy not to espouse her brain- 
dead opinions to every Tom, 
Dick and Harry who comes 
around with a tape recorder? 
—Abby 
Los Angeles, California 


DEAR ABBY: Give that dumb 
bitch 40 lashes with a wet noo- 
dle. Of course, save a few 
strokes for yourself, you 
money-grubbing Hebe; now 
you know how Jesus felt. Wait 
a minute—I’m a Kike too. 
Scratch that “Christ-killer” bit 
and add “Darkies are lazy,” 
“Wops are gangsters,” “Micks 
are drunks,” “Chinks have 
small dicks” and “Spics are 
petty criminals.” That ought to 
do it. Gotta run, it’s time for 
my coffee klatsch with Marge 
Schott and Kathie Lee Gifford. 


Hear Ann Landers 


PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ADVICE COLUMNIST’S HEAD PASTED ONTO OUR MODEL’S BODY 


reflects what’s wrong with this pho- 
tograph. Turn the page upside down 
to find out if your answer indicates a 
biological destiny of sperm swilling 
and fecal incontinence. 


into full boy-fucking flower. Con- 
cerned faggot-phobes can learn if 
their genetic patterns hold this 
queer quirk of nature by choosing 
the statement that most accurately 


Findings reported in the scientific 
journal Nature Genetics suggest that 
a so-called gay gene may lurk deep 
in the DNA of even the most hard- 
ened he-man, ever ready to bloom 


What’s Wrong 


With This Picture? 
A. 


Something like a nice candlestick 
lamp would better complement those 
columns. 


. The repeated patterns on that 
Porthault bed-spread and trim are 
so tacky. 


. Hel-lo? That flower arrangement is 
simply gauche in such an under- 
lit niche. 


. What's not wrong with this picture? 
The vases, bric-a-brac and stereo 
equipment make the entire room 
asymmetrical. 


. This chick should be facedown in the 
pillows, covered with sperm, and 
pleading for more cock. 


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6 May HUSTLER 


bits & pieces 


| THEY DIDN'T FOLLOW RULES. THEY DIDN'T PLAY FAIR. AND THEY DIDN'T WEAR UNIFORMS. | 
BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T GIVE A FLYING PUCK 


Pa ive 


THES MIGHTWAFUGK: ") 


THE STORY OF THREE NAKED CHICKS WITH GREAT BIG STICKS. 


HUSTLER ano TOUCHBONE PICTURES present “THE MIGHTY FUCKS” 
STARRING TONYA HARDON MARY LOU RUTTIN KRISTI YUMMYCUCHI ano BUCKY BEAVER AS THE MASCOT WRITTEN, — AND DIRECTED BY WANG GRETZKY 
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AD PARODY, NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY 


bits & pieces 


) 1996 Slimex Corp 


it lights a licking and peeps on pricking. ‘ 


& 
x 
Ww 


Write to us with your Inyago gash-flash story. SUMEX, Suite 900, 8484 Wilshire 
Boulevard, Beverly Hills, CA 90211. For U.S. retailers, call 1-800-EAT-ME 


8 May HUSTLER 


“MOSt: TASTELESS CARJOOW 
tee TUNNEL°r RAPE 


2 ee bo 


In days of yore, a trio of gorgeous, naked babes loung- 
ing together in three-part hairless harmony was not 
an unusual sight. Small wonder no one noticed that 
cable TV and the Internet hadn’t yet been invented. 
Three chicks with six bare boobs plus one bed equals $150 to 
Bryan Back. Send ancient dirty pictures to HUSTLER’s Porn 
From the Past, 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly Hills, 
CA 90211. Include a self-addressed, stamped envelope if you want 
the material returned, 


bits & pieces 


Video Games Perverts Play 


Tired of sitting around in a dark room all day playing 
with your joystick? Frankly, neither is anyone at 
HUSTLER. Utilizing cyber-optic, Silicon Valley tech- 


nology (in other words, models with breast implants), 
America’s Magazine developed a few mega-ram diver- 
sions that will make Donkey Kong go apeshit. 


NESS » =r = > ~ 
Ss. ms fe wn" 42 "4 

ay \— Me me Sod = 
The time: The all-too-near future. The place: 42nd Street, New York City. The 
event: Whores from around the world battle to turn a $50 trick with the one 
john who wasn't chased out of Times Square by Disney's urban-renewal 
program. Play against the computer, or join a friend for the Head-to-Head 
cocksucking competition. 

Available Summer 1996 for the Nintenho game system. 


# 


MORTAL KUMBAT 


A challenging test of aim and endurance, Mortal Kumbat pits the pud-pulling 
player against naked chicks who fling used condoms filled with HIV-positive 
sperm. Hit a comely Kumbatant in the eye, and go on to the Who Can Make 
the Biggest Mess on the Bathroom Mirror bonus round. 

Available Christmas 1996 for Smegma Game Gear. 


Those two lovable video cholos, Spic and Span™, are back in an all-new 
romp through magical East L.A. Land. Try to carry as much stolen merchan- 
dise as possible across the border while avoiding zany villains like Gringo 
Gorilla™ and the Green Card Bandit™. Pick up beans for a Super Barrio 


butt-blast. Impregnate sefioritas. Be lazy. 
Now available for IBMexican and Wetbackintosh computers. 


PARODY. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROB ORZECHOWSKI 


bits & pieces 


Two-Million-Dollar Muffs 


Remember 1976? HUSTLER Pub- 

lisher, Larry Flynt, produced $1 mil- 
| lion and a list of ten world-famous 

women (including Barbara Walters 
| and Mary Tyler Moore). The seven- 

figure prize was offered to the first 

“Million-Dollar Muff’ who dared to 
| pose in a HUSTLER photo-set. 


COURTENEY COX 
Get naked, 
Courteney, and let’s 
be friends. Two 
million bucks is a 
| small price to pay 
for must-see T&A. 


SANDRA BULLOCK 
If this little minx 
wants to talk speed, 
wait until she sees 
how fast her birthday 
suit gets HUSTLER 
readers stroking. 


Double for Doffing: Two decades 
later, a million bucks isn’t what it 
used to be; so Larry’s back with $2 
million, and a brand-new selection 
of this era’s intriguing female 
celebrities. The first candidate to 
open up and say “pink” for our 
photographers, posing HUSTLER- 


——— 


DEMI MOORE 
Supposedly, in her 
new film, Demi shows 
pubes. Here’s a decent 
proposal, Mrs. Willis: 
Show HUSTLER 

your pink! 


ALICIA SILVERSTONE 


Get a clue, Alicia— 


millions to the ten 
Columbia just 
forked over for 

your new contract. 


style for publication in our fine pe- 
riodicals, prances away with the 
jackpot. This is no joke, ladies! 
Part those downy thighs, and 
make HUSTLER history—not to 
mention $2 million. Offer expires 
February 14, 1997. Any takers for 
the layout of a lifetime? | 


WHITNEY HOUSTON | 
HUSTLER will al- | 
ways love you, Whit- 
ney, as long as you 
stop singing long 
enough to bare your 
brown sugar. 


add two more 


HAN, ~~» 
‘| x e| 


MADONNA 

| HUSTLER’s photog- 

raphers know how to 
make Madonna’s 
spicy Italian cooch 
look like a virgin’s. 


= 4 
JULIA ROBERTS 
Hey, pretty woman, 
for a stellar career 
move, how about 
flashing your curly, 
auburn muff? 


CINDY CRAWFORD 
Forget about that 
trademark mole— 
Larry Flynt wants 
to see Cindy’s 
beaver! 


The daughter of 
Aerosmith’s lead 
singer can reveal if 


Daddy’s floppy lips. 


LIV TYLER 


NAOMI CAMPBELL _ 
The super-model Brit | 
loves to play dress-up. 

Play doctor with 
us, Naomi, and leave 

a bill for $2 mil! 


she inherited 


NOT A PARODY. WHICH ONE OF THESE LUCKY LADIES WILL STRUT HER STUFF FOR HUSTLER? 


Sai set EDS 


10 


May HUSTLER 


You’re Soaking In It 
I’m disappointed that HUSTLER model 
Talore didn’t have a manicure and pedi- 
cure (Michael and Talore: Race Rela- 
tions, February 1996). I don’t believe 
you would have photographed a woman 
of European descent in such a state. In 
spite of this minor complaint, I was 
aroused by the pictorial. However, subtle 
forms of photographic racism should not 
be condoned. If HUSTLER shoots a big, 
black buck riding a hillbilly farm slut 
with no manicure, then everything will 
be fair and square. —J.H. 
Waynesburg, Pennsylvania 


What a special idea for a pictorial, J. H. 
Then again, it takes a special kind of guy 
to have the delectable, hot-pink walls of a 
bodacious black squack in his face, and 
only notice the chick's nail job. 


Bullock’s Buttocks 
I would like to commend HUSTLER’s 
“Asshole of the Month” for tastefully dis- 
respecting that rich bitch Cindy Crawford 
(Bits & Pieces, February 1996). Don’t get 
me wrong—lI’d jump at the chance to 
plug her pleasure portals, but Cindy is too 
full of herself! 1 doubt even Ricky Gere 
got any of that $6.5 million ass. I’m sure 
every man in his right mind would agree 
that Sandra Bullock is the true movie 
beauty. HUSTLER’s profits would dou- 
ble if you printed a photo of Sandra nude, 
or at least wearing her skintight, black 
jumpsuit from Demolition Man. Either 
way, there would be a whole lot of 
stroking going on! In conclusion, I be- 
lieve the 18- and 19-year-old females in 
HUSTLER get the most attention. More 
young stuff! —R.R. 
Miami Beach, Florida 


Larry Flynt seems to share your opinions, 
R. R.; on page ten of this issue, Larry is 
offering Sandy and Cindy $2 million each 
to make your dream come true. At the 
very least, page ten features a photo of the 
delightful Ms. Bullock to make you come. 
Don't forget HUSTLER’ s monthly maga- 
zine BARELY LEGAL for the best in sweet 
young things. 


Beavers and Back Issues 
I think HUSTLER is a great publication. 
You guys are doing a great job! As a 
new reader, I’m writing for information 
about ordering vintage back issues of the 
magazine. I’m also interested in obtain- 
ing copies of HUSTLER Erotic ViIpEO 
GUIDE. Keep up the good work. 
—M.R. 

Camak, Georgia 


Michael and Talore: Race Relations 


Would it be possible for HUSTLER to 
publish an all-Beaver Hunt special? I 
sure do like them Beavers. Thanks for 


—J.P. 
United States Army 


your time. 


For information regarding subscriptions, 
back issues or any of HUSTLER’ sister 
publications—including HUSTLER 
Erotic VipEO GUIDE and BEST OF BEAVER 
Hunt—call 1-800-220-0314. Happy 
hunting. 


Pussy Talk 
Although I haven't read HUSTLER 
since the 1980s, I broke down and 
bought the new issue today. What a 
pleasant flashback! Alex Ebel’s paint- 
ings of various vaginas (Reading the 
Lips of Love, February 1996) were first 
published in HUSTLER’s classic March 
1978 issue. Now that you've applied 
celebrity names to the “pussy personal- 
ity types” of the original text, it means 
that Demi Moore is a “Fruitcake”; Julia 
Roberts is an “Intellectual”; Katie 
Couric is a “Cold Fish”; Drew Barry- 
more is a “Feminist”; Heather Locklear 
is a “Pushover”; Marcia Clark is an 
“Ugly Duckling”; Sandra Bullock is an 
“Apple Pie”; and Courtney Love is a 
“Nymph.” In addition, Whitney Houston 
is an updated version of Diana Ross, and 
Phyllis Schlafly is the *90s version of 
Joan Crawford. But then again, we knew 
that already! —R. B. 
Charlottesville, Virginia 
(continued on page 14) 


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FEEDBACK 


(continued from page 11) 


Hard-Core Jollies 
I am a 20-year-old college student, and I 
fell in love with HUSTLER two years 
ago—when I became legal. As I matured, 
my sexuality was enhanced by your pub- 
lication, as was my curiosity of sexual 
venues. I am sorry to say that I started to 
experiment with other magazines at the 
adult-book store; namely, hard-core Eu- 
ropean publications. The stuff from over- 
seas had its advantages, such as close-up 
pictorials of single, double and, yes, 
triple penetrations. Photos of explosive 
ejaculations aimed at the mouths of eager 
participants soon followed. One might 
ask, “What are you bitching about? You 
found something good; now go with it.” 
First of all, such publications often cost 
$20 or more—way too expensive! More 
importantly, 
models far outreaches anything that Eu- 
rope—or the rest of the planet—has to 
offer. Maybe HUSTLER could show just 
a few penetrations to keep guys like me 
happy. By the way, I have noticed the 
proliferation of sperm in HUSTLER’s re- 
cent layouts. Much appreciated. —R. H. 
Kalamazoo, Michigan 


HUSTLER’s quality of 


Greetings from a reader in Cleveland. I 
have enjoyed HUSTLER over the 
years, but the magazine must return to 
being a leade a follower. Re- 
member, HUSTLER was the first to 
show pink and the first with a pregnant 
centerfold. Lately, however, other pub- 
lications have pulled ahead in outra- 
geousness. For instance, CHIC 
pictorials often feature a girl actually 
sucking a guy’s dick or pushing his 
dick, fingers or tongue into her pussy. 
I’ve even seen magazines that feature 
photos of hot girls peeing, and I know 
HUSTLER could do a better job. 
Maybe you could print a bride in a nice 
gown pissing next to her limo. Or a 
nurse peeing into her bedpan. Granted, 
an old issue of HUSTLER showed a 
gorgeous girl pissing in the woods 
with her skirt hiked up (Beauty's Beast, 
November 1978), but that was almost 20 
years ago. Now HUSTLER’s too pre- 
dictable. You need to give some people 
a good kick in the ass. Please consider 
these improvements; I offer this advice 
as a concerned fan. —J.W. 

Cleveland, Ohio 


HUSTLER has always been so ahead of 


the times that the “cutting edge” usually 
is something Larry Flynt published 20 


L EAT Pussy, 
THATS A FACT 
JAMMING MY TONGUE | 
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EVERMONE: 


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14 


Bu HUSTLER 


years ago. However, if hard-core outra- 
geousness is what you seek, wait until 
you get a load of this year’s model. 


Angry Jerk-Off 
How about making 1996 a happy fuckin’ 
new year by giving readers something 
worthwhile to choke a chicken to? As far 
as jacking off is concerned, the last few 
spreads in HUSTLER haven't been worth 
a palmful of warm jism. I'd just as soon 
you enlarge a few of the phone-sex ads 
and lay them out as a centerfold. Now 
that’s something to pop a nut! —R. P. 
Waxhaw, South Carolina 


If the gorgeous gals in this issue aren't 
hot enough for you, R. P., maybe you 
need to spend a little bit more time look- 
ing at women, and a little less time call- 
ing phone sex. 


Happy Jerk-Off 
I’ve been buying HUSTLER since 1991, 
when I joined the Marines. Your maga- 
zine sure came in handy! Melanie was 
the best HUSTLER model I've seen yet 
(Melanie: Cut to the Quiff, January 
1996). I'd really like to see more of her. 
If there is a Melanie fan club, please 
print the address. —D. P. 
Manteca, California 


No problem, D. P. The address is 8484 
Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly 
Hills, CA 9021 1—vight here at HUSTLER. 
Sure, there's no membership card or se- 
cret decoder ring, but all the HUSTLER 
folks think Melanie's the hottest thing 
in shaved pubes. 


The Elephant Men 
Since 1978, I’ve admired HUSTLER’s 
unique photo-layouts—especially the 
ones that feature women and animals. 
Please print a list of every issue that such 
a pictorial appeared in. Your magazine is 
still the best. —K.N. 
Sacramento, California 


Granted, not all of HUSTLER's male 
models were the best looking or most 
well behaved back in 1978, K. N., but 
that’s no reason to call them animals. 
As for photos of beautiful ladies cou- 
pling with furry quadrupeds—why, 
that’s illegal! 


Hot ’n’ Hungry 

After discovering a slightly soggy copy 

of your magazine in the park, I couldn't 

resist subscribing. HUSTLER is hysteri- 

cally funny and plenty dirty. As a bisex- 

ual woman, I love leering at all the 
(continued on page 25) 


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FEEDBACK 


(continued from page 14) 


gorgeous ladies. More Asian and black 
chicks, please! I got a special kick out of 
Alex Marvel's article, My Secret Hard- 
on: Men's Sexual Fantasies (October 
1995). The part about an anorexic balle- 
rina who puts her ankles behind her ears 
while jerking off a date was not only a 
scream, but a tremendous turn-on. I'd re- 
ally appreciate learning how to find more 
hot material about women with eating 
disorders; I’m sure many readers feel the 
same way. Maybe you could provide us 
with a few addresses and phone numbers. 
Thanks for the mammaries. —E. K. 

San Francisco, California 


HUSTLER prefers healthy ladies who 
can keep a meal down, E. K. For mal- 
nourished walking skeletons, try your lo- 
cal fashion runway—where the girls tend 
to keep their scrawny bodies covered. 


Come and Play 
A few years ago HUSTLER advertised a 
whirling dildo machine. The cost was 
somewhere around $1,300, and the re- 
sults were supposedly nothing less than 
stupendous! Unfortunately, I can’t find 
the company’s address. Additionally, 
I’m looking for a very large, black 
dildo. My lover has a white one that’s 
18 inches long and eight inches round. 
She and I would like to find a retailer 
that offers a model at least 14 inches 
round. I'd appreciate your assistance 
with this order that’s “hard” to fill. 
—J.C. 
Des Moines, Washington 


It's probably harder to fill a hole that's 
been stretched by a dildo that's 14 inches 
in diameter, J. C. Nevertheless, check out 
HUSTLER’ s October 1994 issue for a de- 
finitive sex-toy guide, Toys for Twats: 
The Curious Dick's Guide to Sexual De- 
vices, by the ever-popular Alex Marvel. 


Molest We Forget 

Whatever happened to your cartoon char- 

acter Chester the Molester? —S. Z. 
Laurel, Maryland 


According to People magazine's “What- 
ever Happened To...” issue, Chester 
now divides his time between duties as a 
Boy Scout troop leader and a Catholic 
priest. Seriously, S. Z., although car- 
toonist Dwaine Tinsley retired Chester 
long ago, you can still find Dwaine’s 
outlandish art and irreverent humor in 
every issue of HUSTLER. 


Raunchy Rhymes 
I hope you accept poetry: 
Perhaps you shall, 

if you are a pal. 

So here goes— 

strike a pose! 

Wham, bam, 

thank you, ma’am. 

I love your sex toys... 
maybe even boys. 

(I think not.) 

Is this too hot? 

I love HUSTLER’s Honey, 


and I’m not going to rhyme money. 


Yes, February’s Mia, 
I'd like to see ya; 


a, R 


NS 


1-800-R UF 


But it’s not to happen; 
so I'll keep on whackin’. —S.S. 
Daytona Beach, Florida 


Of your rhymes, HUSTLER is wary. 

“Maybe” you like boys; Are you a fairy? 
Well “maybe” if S. 8. had the right idea, 
He'd also have a better chance with Mia. 


Do you have a comment or complaint? We 
want to hear it. Send your letters (typed or 
neatly handwritten) to HUSTLER Feed- 
back, 8484 Wilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, 
Beverly Hills, CA 90211. Include a phone 
number if you want your letter considered 
for publication. & 


"+81 2@f ISN 


C d 


Fal as 1 


FAT FUCK 


I had my tongue in this black chick’s 
snatch, and my middle finger up her 
butt, when the thought occurred to me 
that I really need to lose some weight. 
All I do is sit around and eat junk food 
(or, in the case of the dark-skinned 
lovely pulling my hair and digging her 
fingernails into my back, soul food). 
The last time I saw the inside of a gym 
was my high school physical education 
class, which I failed. Granted, a double 
chin was good for collecting the pussy 
juice that bubbled out of my brown- 
sugar fuck mate’s climaxing cunt, but 
something had to be done before my 
gut outgrew my eight-inch prick. 

The answer came to me while check- 
ing out some blond bimbo’s spandex-en- 
cased rump in the window of a local 
fitness center. Signing up for a member- 
ship could not only define my muscle 
tone and improve my cardiovascular re- 
sponse, it could also get my johnson 
sucked by some trim piece of ass in a 
sweat suit. That possibility alone was 
worth skipping my nightly ritual of eat- 
ing an entire bag of cheese puffs while I 
watch Urkel. 

After the first five minutes on an ex- 
ercise bike, I was about ready to throw 
in my sweat-drenched towel. Hyperven- 
tilating, I dragged my 230-pound car- 
cass toward the exit, only to be halted 
by a six-foot-tall, Amazonian brunet 
goddess. 

“Where do you think you're going, 
sissyman?” she asked with a leering 
smile. In a flash, her sinewy arms 
wrapped around my midsection, and the 
hot-looking hardbody lifted me onto a 
nearby treadmill machine. A decent pair 
of knockers jiggled under her tight, 
pink halter top, cut to reveal a wash- 


26 


Hot Letters 


board stomach that made my beer belly 
all the more pathetic. As if to empha- 
size the point, she lifted my shirt and 
laughed, “You've still got quite a few 
sit-ups left. Let Jillian show you how 
it’s done.” 

“No way, Jillian,” I wheezed, collaps- 
ing onto a gym mat. “I wouldn’t sit up 
right now for a triple cheese and chili 
fries.” With a devilish smile, the long- 
legged Jane Fonda-wannabe pulled 
down her tights to reveal neatly trimmed 
black pubes. 

“Maybe you need to get your mouth 
on something meatier,” she giggled, 
squatting over my prone body. “Some- 
thing like Jillian’s fur burger.” I must 
have turned a dozen shades of red, and 
nearly swallowed my tongue. Was this 
chick crazy? Sure, we were partially 
hidden by the weight-machine equip- 
ment, but any gym patrons who hap- 
pened to look our way were sure to get 
an eyeful of Jillian’s bare ass cheeks. 
And what cheeks they were: big and 
round, but firm; not unlike a delicious 


May HUSTLER 


pair of twin hams. As Jillian fingered 
the folds of her cunt to spread open her 
love tunnel, the display of hot-pink 
vaginal walls reminded me of cotton 
candy. Watching her masturbate just out 
of my reach was not only making me 
horny, it was also making me hungry. | 
decided a taste of cunny was worth the 
ultimate sacrifice, and exerted every last 
muscle in my body to bury my face in 
her beaver. 

“That's it,” moaned Jillian as my 
greedy tongue worked over her puffy 
pussy lips. The steaming musk that 
dripped into my mouth was overpower- 
ing. The whole room seemed to spin, un- 
til the strain of sitting up was too great, 
and my head plummeted back onto the 
floor. Jillian wasn’t satisfied with my ef- 
forts, and she took out her disappoint- 
ment on me by cruelly yanking my 
nipple. I howled in agony. 

“No pain, no gain,” sang Jillian sadis- 
tically. “And no gash, either.” The pow- 
erful personal trainer grabbed a mittful 
of my hair and pulled my mug to her 
groin. Somehow the searing hurt of my 
scalp was quelled by the throbbing in 
my crotch. I grabbed Jillian’s supple 
bottom for support, and sucked her clit 
in earnest. Suddenly, the domineering 
bitch melted away, replaced by a heavy- 
breathing, writhing sex kitten who purred 
in ecstasy. 

Bending all the way back until her 
shoulder blades touched the ground, Jil- 
lian begged, “Finger me.” I gently 
probed her hole with my middle finger, 
then slowly slid in three digits. The ef- 
fect was like sticking a cattle prod into 
her cooch. Jillian spasmed wildly, buck- 
ing her clam against the loving assault 
of my hand and tongue. Now I had the 
lovely lady where I wanted her, and | 
celebrated by fumbling to free my erec- 
tion. Jillian smiled approvingly and 
lifted her ankles around my head as I 
mounted the blissed-out beauty. 

“Time for some push-ups,” I grunted. 
My first thrust sank in deep, and a rip- 
pling sensation engulfed every inch of 
dick like a million electric volts. Jillian 
contracted and released her cunt mus- 
cles; she was even in good shape vagi- 
nally! With the drubbing I was about to 
subject her to, it was a good thing. 
Slowly, I withdrew, savoring every last 
tickle of her quivering sugar walls; then 
plunged back in and fucked at a fero- 
cious rate, Jillian’s back arched vio- 
lently, shoving her halter top-encased 
boobs in my face. 

(continued on page 37) 


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Hot On Her Tail 79 min 
Juicy Sex Scandals 85 min 


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Racquel Released 64 min 


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edited by Evan Wright 


BORDERLINE: St. Croix enters Celeste’s paradise 


, Borderline 


FULLY ERECT. Directed by Paul Norman; starring Celeste, Bridgette Monroe, Missy, Felecia, Toni, Alicia Rio, 
Tabitha, Nici Sterling, Alexis Devell, Madelyn Knight, Tiffany Million, Alabama, 
Jill Kelly, Steven St. Croix, Tony Montana, Guy DiSilva and Bobby Vitale. Videocassette: Vivid 


As the opening credits roll, an iron bed clanks to the rhythm of Steven St. Croix pound- 
ing Tiffany Million, who scrunches her face, balls her fists and begs to have her ass 
plowed; plow it he does—good, hard—then pulls out to lather her tits and face with ball 
suds, leaving the blond wanton facedown on the bed, exhausted in the dazed afterglow of 
a thorough fucking. Filmed on a well-lit, beautiful set, the sequence flows with the creamy 
smoothness of a wet cunt. This is just the beginning. What follows is the star of the film, 
Celeste. The sexual heat of this celestial beauty raises meat thermometers even before she 
opens her lovely mouth for its first dick offering. St. Croix jams his man sausage far down 
the charming brunette’s throat, and her tits bulge out even further with each deep-throated 
penetration. Celeste’s sopping cunt squishes as St. Croix shoots his flesh arrow between 
her squirming legs. He pops out and drenches her honey-toned skin with testicle spray. 
Slurping, Celeste smacks her lips against the puffy, pierced labes of a bright-eyed Latina 
in a maid’s costume. Like one continuous orgy, Celeste and a dozen chicks, all beautifully 
built, suck and fuck their way through Mexican dungeons, street festivals and hotels. 
Highlights include high-class bitches, tied up and suspended from rafters, getting their 
buttholes reamed; feverish lesbian pileups; and the faces, crotches, tits, butts, necks and 
legs of lovely slatterns cum-sprayed from cunt-and-mouth-moistened rods. Borderline 
suffers from only one flaw: It ends. —Mack Assarian 


"BORDERLINE: Knight tickles Tabitha: 
St. Croix looks for entry. 


May HUSTLER 29 


Beaver and 
Buttface 


FULLY ERECT. Directed by Buck Adams; starring Kelly Jaye, 
April, Holly Body, Jessica James, 
Rebecca Lord, Tony Tedeschi and Buck Adams. Videocassette: Sin City 
Porn acting usually falls apart the moment the actor speaks 
a line. Not so in Beaver and Buttface. Buck Adams and 
Tony Tedeschi take on the roles of homy, illiterate morons, 
Beaver and Buttface—based on famous cartoon charac- 
ters—and play them to moronic perfection. Arriving at the 
women’s locker room of a college, Tedeschi—as Buttface 
mistakes French-speaking Rebecca Lord for a Spanish 
exchange student and bumbles into his first blowjob from 
the dark-eyed tart, ending in a shower of nad spray across 
her silky, furred mound. Cool. A series of choad-churning 
vignettes follows: A blonde tail-nailed by a fat, sphincter- 
smashing cock, a DP of another blonde, and a bizarre 
whips-and-togas orgy that ends with a lesbian slave wench 
licking rivulets of cum off a sweating, panting whore-faced 
blonde. Beaver and Buttface join in on a threeway pileup of 
gorgeous ginches; much sperm is sprayed. A brunette 
appears with great sacks of silicone hanging from her body; 
Adams, laughing pathologically as Beaver, sucks on her 
gargantuan thingies, bends her over and slams his dong 
deep into her turd chute. Watching this film will inspire 
many to follow Buttface’s oft-repeated advice: “Go spank 
your monkey.” —M.A. 


=~) Carnival 


ONE-QUARTER ERECT. Directed by Stuart Canterbury; starring Jill Kelly, Sindee Cox, 
Nancy Vee, Kimberly Kyle, Joey Silvera, John Decker, 
Heather Lee, Darcy McDaniels and Tom Chapman. Videocassette: Paradise Visuals. 


In the grand, underhand tradition of circus sideshow scams that 
promise one thing and deliver a blatant fake or a disgusting travesty, 
Carnival is two parts false advertising, one part passable tawdriness 
and the last quarter revoltingly ugly. Taking place in a midway freak 
tent, Carnival features Joey Silvera in the Ron Jeremy role as irritat- 
ing emcee. Some chick with breasts as false as Bob Dole’s modesty 
and copious suspect tattoos gets fucked in an ordinary way with a big 
splotch of semen shot between her tits. A chick is holding a big snake. 
She puts the snake away and gets physical with the strap-on dong of a 
brunet ginch who has a ludicrously false beard and mustache glued to 
one half of her face. Laugh at the sight? Perhaps. Shoot a load? 
Never. A chunky reddish head goes 69 with a roustabout stud and 
takes him in her ass; Silvera is treated to a nice Jill Kelly smile after 
he splooges on the honey blonde’s organic, mid-range tits. A big fat 
broad gets naked with an unfortunate dick to give the tape a painful 
ending, but most viewers will quit before then. The box copy promise 
of “And now for something completely different” is just another 
cover for the same old schtick. —Christian Shapiro 


Streets of New York 
Volume 5 


1) HALF ERECT. Directed by Neville Chambers; starring Barbie Brookes, Heidie Von Hunter, Nicollina Foxx, Roxxi Raye, 
Joe Louis, Shay and Chad. Videocassette: Pleasure Productions. 


Outside a Manhattan meat market Heidie V6n Hunter, blond hair falling past her pillowy 
ass like a ratty silk curtain, slams long-legged lezzie Roxxie Raye against a concrete wall, 
jams face into crack and laps up backside and labes like a thirsty dog. This flick was shot 
outside, in broad daylight, on the busy, cop-filled streets of New York. Outside the Javits 
Center, Barbie Brookes lets her pal Chad fuck her from behind, then squats over a pile of 
trash to take a load of spunk on her natural cupcake whammies. Beefy Joe Louis leads the 
maniacally cheerful and talkative Nicollina Foxx onto a rooftop and quiets her by fucking 
} her mouth until it’s frothy with drool. After stuffing her turd rings with trouser meat, he 


—Evan Wright 


30 May HUSTLER 


John Wayne Bobbitt’s penis has | liposuction. More than two inches 
gone under the knife again. The | were reputedly added to the length of 
unstoppable ex-Marine braved a sur- | Bobbitt's rod and an inch to the cir- 
geon's scalpel to undergo a penis- | cumference 
(| enhancement procedure to add meat Bobbitt, who prides himself on his 
im to his world-famous schlong training as a “perfect combat warrior,” 
Length was increased by snipping | sought to turn his cock into an ideal 
a ligament at the base of the penis, | assault vehicle for penetrating the 
allowing the wounded wand to extend | flesh ramparts for his mission in 
further when erect. Circumference was | Leisure Time Entertainment's XXX 
enhanced by injecting fat removed | action film Frankenpenis released 
from the patient's lower abdomen by | this January 


BIGGER 


BETTER 
IN FRANKENPENIS! 


eader Contest: Win a Butcher's Knife Personally Signed by John Wayne Bobbitt! 


In the photos above, Bobbitt’s penis is about to have spit-and-polish performed by babes Lori 
Wagner (blond) and Nina Anderson (brunet). One photo was taken before Bobbitt’s cock-augmen- 
tation surgery and the other after. The first ten readers to correctly identify which photo features 
the bigger dick will win a collector’s item butcher’s knife, personally autographed by John Wayne 

- SL nt Bobbitt, courtesy of Leisure Time Entertainment. Mail entries to: Bobbitt Cut Contest, HUSTLER 
FRANKENPENIS: Nina Anderson with Bobbitt. before or after? Erotic Entertainment, 8484 W ilshire Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211, 


Batbabe 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Stuart Canterbury; starring Kia, Kaitlyn Ashley, Nancy Vee, Kimberly Kyle, 
Channone, Ruby Richards, Sean Rider, Mike Horner, Alex Sanders and Kyle Stone. Videocassette: Hip Video. 


There’s no law against sucky acting in porn movies, but in a spoof such as Bathabe 
where the sucky acting is accompanied by sucky jokes, the whole movie takes on a 
sucky feel. What holds the viewer is Kaitlyn Ashley. Her face—kitteny, carnivorous, 
ecstasize sexual emotion the 
moment her sly lips curl and purr for More, more, baby; give it to me some more. 
Obeying the flesh imperatives of Ashley’s wet cunt, Alex Sanders liberates her tightly 
packed tits from a leather restraint, fucks her lascivious mouth until sputum runs down 
her chin, pulls apart the big, flopping petals of her cunt lips and rams in. Ashley lies 
prone, gasping for air, sweat rolling freely down her well-mauled titties, her butt 
reamed with long, leisurely strokes from Sanders’s merciless cock. This bravura per- 
formance is followed by a bondage-themed prison dyke-and-dildo duel and Mike 
Horner’s marathon dick-slaying of a curvaceous redhead whose face cringes delicious- 
ly each time Horner plows mouth, clam or tightly clenched shit exit ramp. The sheer 
sexual bravado of the actors saves Batbabe from being a big, yawning batbore. —. A. 


BA TBABE K F Kyle quips ball beverage from meat straw 


4 i Pussyman 12 


THREE-QUARTERS ERECT. Directed by David Christopher; starring Misty Rain, Caressa Savage, Jill Kelly, 
Davia, Tammi Anne, Keisha, Felecia, Rachel Love, Cindy Coxx, Holly Body, 
Jon Dough, Alex Sanders, Peter North, Will Divide and Pussyman. Videocassette: Snatch Productions. 

A stacked secretary sashays into her boss’s office, drops a sheaf of papers on his desk 
and announces that she has no underwear on. She pulls up her dress to show off the 
chains and baubles hanging from her ornamented cunt lips before shoving a talking dildo 
up her love canal. “Do me more. Do me harder, baby,” the dildo commands from a small 
plastic speaker located on the handgrip. Jon Dough’s rotund dong fills the screen. The 
head of a blonde chases it with her lips. The blonde has big round rings pierced through 
her big wide nipples on her big fat tits. By the time Dough is done tooling her mouth and 
nookie, the sweat of good honest fucking rolls from her tits to her tummy to the tattoos 
on her nasty ass. Two blondes and a brunet strumpet swap snatch juice on a staircase; 
Peter North blows a ball geyser all over a cunt-licking blonde’s ass with enough splooge 
left over to hose down a nearby brunette’s mug and jugs; Keisha displays her talent as a 
dick-sucking slut in some dude’s moving car; darling Davia squeaks like a mouse, and 
has her crapper rammed and pummeled by a fist-sized cock. A no-nonsense fuck flick, 
Pussyman 12 is sure to get plenty of applause—hand-to-dick style. —M. A. 


> 


PUSSYMAN 12: Tammi Anne's tasty fish-and-finger pie 


Gangbusters 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Jim Enright; starring J. R. Carrington, Lennox, 
Dallas, Bridgette Monroe, Jessica James, Tony Tedeschi, Steven St. Croix, 
T. T. Boy, Peter North and Ron Jeremy. Videocassette: VCA. 


The first disappointment of Gangbusters is that, despite 
the word gang in its title, the flick is not a gang-bang fea- 
ture. Although the makers of Gangbusters certainly were 
not deliberately misleading their potential viewers with 
their inadvertently evocative title, some of us will take a 
while to get over our initial letdown, and when we do 
recover, it is only to be dejected again by the realization 
that Gangbusters is a period-piece costume drama set in the 
time of prohibition and gangsters with porn studs and star- 
lets acting straight-faced and serious in spats and suits, with 
a condom being part of the wardrobe in every ride. 
Historical accuracy is sacrificed on one detail: Almost 
every female tit in Gangbusters is silicone-stuffed. Despite 
four well-aimed facial cum-shots, this tits-and-gash 


retelling of The Sting is mostly a bust. —.S. 


Shameless 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Wesley Emerson; starring Jill Kelly, Melissa Monet, Kirsty Waay, Missy, 
Patricia Kennedy, P. J. Sparxxx, Vince Vouyer, Tom Byron and Dave Hardman. Videocassette: VCA 


A candid, cynical and pleasurably carnal look at sexual infidelity in monogamous 
relationships, Shameless features titties that are mostly free from surgical augmenta- 
tion, two cute blondes (Jill Kelly and Missy), a pair of sultry, sensual, Mediterranean- 
type plush tarts (Melissa Monet and Patricia Kennedy), a dick-licking, ass-activated 
tomboy (Kirsty Waay), the ever-proficient and prurient P. J. Sparxxx, a plunge of 
anal penetration, a few satisfyingly sloppy applications of cum to girls’ faces and a 
dollop of wad landing plop on the distended asshole that worked it out. Shameless 
meets the basic industry standards, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. 
SHAMELESS: Monet hangs her 
masterpiece mouth on Kelly's lips. 


prerree teres 


<eiS Sree, i< 


The Doll House 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Fred Lincoln; starring Lisa Ann, Michael J. Cox, Johnny Prober, Jen Teal, Jon Dough, 
Liam Mulhall, Patricia Kennedy, Amber Woods, Alec Metro, Tom Byron, Josef Rabi, Hank Rose, Frank Towers, 
Ron John, Franco Armani and Daniel Elmslie. Videocassette: Cal Vista 


Not to be confused with A Doll's House, a dreary Henrik Ibsen play which explores 
marital strife, The Doll House is a porn flick by Fred Lincoln that, while depicting 
the stresses and strains of a husband and wife, promises to end with a gang-bang, and 
does not deliver. Brunet doll-face Lisa Ann’s taut, tawny blow-up-boobs body carries 
the lead female role, playing with dolls, investing these toys with human characteris- 
tics illustrated by real-flesh couplings of porn performers. Lisa Ann accepts wad 
from a muscle-bound beach man who eats her ass before his rod spits jizz. Lisa 
Ann’s smooth-shaven, tidy-lip trim is a delectable snack to a saucy chestnut blonde’s 
limber, hungered lust. Jon Dough takes a sweet, cute blonde up sodomy way, pulling 
out of her shitter to shoot on her pink lips; and Patricia Kennedy, in a scary black- 
rubber corset, dominates a mook by wrapping her shitter lips around his prick and 
taking its shot on her metal-pierced tongue.The final Doll House scene has Lisa Ann 
walking into a bar where about eight guys, all listed in the credits, are waiting as if to 
group slop her. She takes a two-man plugging of her fore and aft, and the tape ends, 
which is no way to play with dolls. —C. §. 


tr 


THE DOLL HOUSE: Lisa Ann makes a mess with Jen Teal. 


tr 


2 
3 


May HUSTLER 


JAPANESE SEX ATROCITIES: 
fm” X-RATED ann ANIMATED 


Swords, sorcerers, morphing demon cyborgs, virtual showing erotic brutality forbidden to real-flesh filming, 
worlds of mass destruction, contemporary fables of and a squishy gush of girl flesh fills the ear, which, along 
oppression by evil master forces, battle and deliverance with other protruding organs, grows increasingly tumes- 
by the good and pure warrior, all set to a loopy techno- cent as the cartoon progresses. Adventure Kid, Demon 
disco soundtrack with characters barking at one another Beast Invasion, and La Blue Girl are a few of many spunk- 
in Japanese, Aside from such flashy filler, the current sprinkled morality tales available at video stores every- 


tsunami of adults-only Japanimation videos is chock-full | where, or contact Central Park Media, 250 West 57th 
of brazen hard-core, full-penetration scenes of nubile, Street, Suite 317, New York, NY 10107 
golden-skinned sylph women being raped orally, vagi- 
nally and up the butt by creepy, powerful monsters that, 
like extensions of a dark, amorphous, deeply disturbed 
imagination, slide their gnarly tendrils beyond the 
panties of innocence and stir up the sugary vaginal froth 
within. The effectively lifelike animation gets away with 


ADVENTURE KID: Cartoon gang-bang. INVASION HIGH SCHOOL: Scrumptious ink whammies. LA BLUE GIRL: Anim ated lezzies 


~~ Cock Buster 
a Video Store 


ONE-QUARTER ERECT. Produced by Toshi Gold; the two women and three men performing are 
not credited, nor is any director. Videocassette: Astral Ocean Video 

The box cover of Cock Buster Video Store claims that the crap inside, 
“previously banned in the U.S.A.,” is presented in “the original language 
and unedited Hungarian edition.” In any language, this tape is a piece of 
merde. This garbage looks as if it were bought sight unseen in a lot of dis- 
cards from underdeveloped countries of the former Soviet bloc. Some 
brunet slut, who’s really only a scag from certain angles, works in a video 
store. A guy comes in to browse and porks her hairy box upon a blow-up 
mattress on the floor. The action, three more torpid sex scenes, never leaves 
this room, although another blow-up mattress is brought in for a side-by- 
side pair of couplings. The dialogue, in its original Slavic tongue, is dubbed 
over with irritating Cockney accents, giving two conflicting dialects at 
once, both saying, “Cheap and shitty!” —C. S. 


P. K. and Company 


HALF ERECT. Directed by Ernest Greene; starring Patricia Kennedy, Sarah Jane Hamilton, Sean Rider, 
Jake Steed, Guy DiSilva, Luc Wylder, T. T. Boy, Vince Vouyer and Dave Hardman. Videocassette: Soho Video 


In the Trobriand Islands of the South Pacific, a popular chewing gum was sold 
under the brand name PK. Aside from providing a juicy, pleasant chew, PK gum 
was stickier than most. PK soon entered the island lexicon as a word meaning 
“good and sticky.” Appropriately, the P. K. in P. K. and Company stands for 
Patricia Kennedy. Aside from being a juicy, pleasant chew, Patricia Kennedy 
gets good and sticky for the seven studs in this gang-bang film. A lone female, 
Kennedy circles the room chomping her mild overbite onto each of seven cocks 
before lying back for a free-for-all. Every prong takes turns plugging her smile 
and spearing her clam. Her grin turns to a grimace when a couple of dudes 
spread her bottom for a DP, which leaves her moaning when T. T. Boy parks his 
fat putz in her colon. A round of glowing joints blow testicle smoke on 
Kennedy’s face: She got PK mouth. She got PK cunt, and she got PK butthole, 
but there’s just not enough action to glue a viewer’s eyes to the screen. —E. W. 


,, 


P. K. AND COMPANY: Kennedy's snatch is a juicy, pleasant chew. 


6 
Cyberanal 
THREE-QUARTERS ERECT. Directed by Mondo Tundra; 
starring Vanessa Chase, Rocco Siffredi, Ron Jeremy, Sunset Thomas, 
Juli Ashton, Nicole Lace, Kelly Trump, Caressa Savage, Eden, 
Jon Dough, Mark Davis and Zachery Addams. Videocassette: VCA 
Despite taking too long before the interesting action 
gets started, oddball costuming that distracts from the 
sex in motion, and Ron Jeremy in both speaking and 
unclothed roles, Cyberanal is a largely successful 
pornographic entertainment, primarily because of the 
nut-busting appeal of slinky, saucy Vanessa Chase. 
Chase is a short-haired, bubble face brunette with bippity- 
boppity medium-size organic breasts, a slim, smooth- 
skinned torso with sleek lines and a candy-pillow ass 
which seasoned porn studs are drawn to eat out of, 
tongue to brown winker, followed by dick into the 
tight-ringed stinker pit. Vanessa Chase grunts sex. 
When she takes a dump, her piercingly expressive 
face must be jerk-off fodder. Chase takes many 
reverse dumps in Cyberanal. While dicks the size of a 
big man’s most bulked-up turd slide easily toward her 
higher colon, Chase’s exquisite grimaces and endear- 
ing yelps tug a viewer’s sympathetic reflexes, his 
hand goes to his hard-on, and Vanessa Chase goes to 
his memory bank of guaranteed cum-shots. 


—C.S. 


CYBERANAL: Davis tail-nails Eden while Siffredi sips from her udders 


troker’'s Guide 


A quick checklist of X-rated features reviewed in past issues 
of HUSTLER and HUSTLER EROTIC VIDEO GUIDE. 


Fully Erect 


Superior. A top production 


Compulsive Behavior 
(Odyssey Group) 
Tiffany Mynx, Sharon Kane 
Mike Horner 


Russian Roulette (Nitro) 
Houston, Victoria Paris, 
Mike Horner 


Takin’ It To the Limit 6: 
Nastier Than Ever 
(Bruce Seven Productions) 
Careena Collins, Felecia, 
Tom Byron 


What’s Up, Tiger Pussy? 

| (VGA) 

Brittany O'Connell, Kaitlyn Ashley 
Mike Horner 


34 


Three-Quarters 
Erect 
Above average. Hard-on material 


Bed and Breakfast (Vivid) 
Asia Carrera, Melissa Hill 
Rocco Siffredi 


| Boob Town (VCA) 
Taylor Hayes, Olivia, 
Steven St. Croix 


Hot Tight Asses 13 
(TCKS Entertainment) 
Davia Ardell, Caressa Savage, 
Max Hardcore 


John Leslie’s Dirty Tricks 
Number One 
(John Leslie Productions) 
Candy Apples, Lana Sands, 
Ariel Daye 


Rebel Cheerleader (Vivid) 
|__ J. R. Carrington, Olivia, Alec Metro 


Half Erect 


Standard fare. Has moments. | 


Cry Baby (Cal Vista) 
Kaylan Nicole, Melissa Hill 
Jon Dough 


Encore (Vivid) 
Teri Weigel, Asia Carrera 
Tom Byron 


The F Zone 


(Wicked Pictures) 
Nici Sterling, Rebecca Lord 
Peter Nortt 


A Girl’s Affair (Fat Dog) 
Felecia, Kylie Ireland 
Patricia Kennedy 


Kinky Debutante Interviews 

| Volume 9 (View Video) 

Gina Delany, Gina Rome 
Tommy Gunn 


The Panty Parlor 
(Visual Images) 
Rachel Love, Sahara Sands, 
Whitney Wonders 


May HUSTLER 


One-Quarter | 
Erect 
Poor. Don’t expect much | 


Byron Long at Large (VCA) 
Byron Long, Gina Rome, Claudio 


Private Video Magazine 26 
(Odyssey Group Video) 


Monica 


Sorority Sluts (Zane) 
Marki, Alabama, Lovette 


Totally Limp 


A waste of time and money 


Public Places 2 
(Wicked Pictures) 
Rebecca Wild, Brittany O'Connell, 
Buck Adams 


| Western Nights 
(Wicked Pictures) 
Tera Heart, Anna Malle, 
Jonathan Morgan 


71-900 l0GOTGNIEDD 1 ONT 
535-8145 


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“Suck my tits, but not too fast,” she 
begged, “or I'll get off immediately.” 
Hell, what did I care, as long as I got to 
jerk off on her face. I tore at the cheap 
pink fabric that shackled her chest and 
was delighted to find a pair of major- 
league yabbos that looked much bigger 
bare. Her nipples were rock-hard and 
somewhat reminiscent of Vienna 
sausages. I ignored the rumbling in my 
stomach and chewed on Jillian’s milk 
spouts. Sure enough, her eyes rolled 
back in her head, and her loins gyrated 
against my shoving thighs at an alarm- 
ing new frequency. 

“I told you not to do that, you fat 
bastard,” Jillian moaned, lifting herself 
to shove her tongue down my throat. In 


one swift, collegiate wrestling-style | 


move, she pinned my shoulders to the 


mat and humped her voracious hole up | 


and down my long rod. The strange 
contortion of ecstasy and rage on her 
face made me all too aware of the fact 
that Jillian could snap me in half. 
That’s just what she seemed deter- 
mined to do as she bucked all her weight 
against my lap. 

At the point of climax, Jillian cried, 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” and then un- 
loaded a string of profanities I don’t even 
feel comfortable repeating in this publi- 
cation. Her fingertips titty-twisted her 
own nips, thank goodness, and then dug 
deeply into my shoulders. With her pli- 
able limbs, Jillian was able to stretch out 
her legs in a gymnast’s split. To my 
amazement, she corkscrewed on my 
cock, turning her entire body around 
while impaled on my member. She of- 
fered me a stunning rear-view that gave 
me newfound fucking vigor. 

“I know you already came, honey,” I 
panted, pulling out of her honeypot and 
pressing my dick head to her rectum, “but 
a seat this perfect begs to be seared.” As 
my snake snuck into her sphincters, Jil- 
lian shuddered and gasped. Concerned, I 
asked if the anal intrusion hurt. 

“No pain, no gain, goddammit,” she 
spat through clenched teeth. “Hurry up 
and fuck my ass. I feel another orgasm 
coming on.” That was all I needed to 
hear. I slid my greasy dipstick in and out 
of her shitter in slow and steady strokes. 
Jillian was forced to get up on all fours 
in order to bear the brunt of my butt- 
fucking. She met my every thrust and 
parry by lifting her tochas higher. I sim- 
ply dug my hands in tight and enjoyed 
the ride. 

“You got me ready to blow,” I roared. 
Jillian wiggled away from my clutch, and 
uncorked my prick from her bung with a 


Hot Letters To my amazement, she corkscrewe 


popping sound. Nimbly, she dove be- 
tween my legs and licked my balls. The 
ensuing twitch and rumble alerted her to 


(continued from page 26) 


d on my cock, turning her entire body 
around while impaled on my member. She offered me a stunning rear-view that gave me newfound fucking vigor. 


the geyser of jungle juice that threatened _ 


to rain down on her head like lava flowing 
from a volcano. She lapped at the torrent 
of semen in euphoric, gentle tongue- 
strokes that coaxed even more wad than I 
knew I had. Watching her feast on sperm 
reminded me I hadn’t eaten a full meal 
in hours. 

“Hey, Jillian,” I whispered. “If you'll 
split an anchovy pizza, some onion rings 
and a platter of chicken wings with me, I 
just might fuck you up the ass again later 
tonight. /f you’re lucky.” She cocked her 
jizz-coated face at me like a curious dog. 

Then she punched me in the stomach 
and threw me out of the gym. That’s all 
the more pizza for me. —G. P. 

Des Moines, lowa 


MAIN DRAG 
It all started as a big joke between me 
and my buddy Chicky. Next thing I 
know, I’m on national television in a 
dress, with the words BOBBY: DRESSES IN 
DRAG AND CAN’T TELL HIS WIFE under my 
face. For half an hour I sat there and tried 
not to crack up as I fielded typical trash 
talk-show questions from the fat-cow 


MULL 


May HUSTLER 


hostess. Then some morons in the audi- 
ence took turns praying for me, and 
Chicky even stood up and called me a 
fucking faggot. This was our best prank 
since the time we stole the statue of 
Bill’s Burger Boy and soldered on a gi- 
ant horse cock. 

After the show, most of the guests 
crowded around the dumb microphone- 
wielding yenta for autographs, but not 
me. I wanted to meet SARA: ANAL SEX 
NYMPHOMANIAC STUCK WITH IMPOTENT 
HUBBY. The tall, striking blonde with gi- 
ant cans seemed approachable; she was 
tucked away in a corner of the set, vio- 
lently masturbating. 

“T don’t mean to interrupt,” I said, 
working my way up to a killer opening 
line, “but what you said out there really 
moved me. My wife won’t let me within 
a mile radius of her asshole, and... [I 
choked back a few sobs] ...I feel your 
pain.” Sara’s wild, green eyes lit up, and 
she actually stopped whipping her clam 
long enough to take me by the hand. 

She pulled down my silk panties and, 
marveling at the girth of my crank, 
cooed, “I knew you weren’t really a fag- 
got.” The day’s incessant chatter finally 
came to a halt when Sara plugged her 
breather with my schlong. Slurping 
slowly down the dick’s length, she re- 


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Hot Letters Sara’s nipples rose for a standi 


(continued from page 37) 
ng ovation, and seemed to cry, “Go, 


Bobby! Go, Bobby!” Encouraged, | mashed her mams together and plowed the breast valley. 


sumed her twat-diddling, and stopped ev- 
ery once in a while to suck at her slit- 
slick fingers. She was one horny mama, 
and if her husband couldn’t supply a hard 
cock, I was more than happy to bring 
home the bacon. My erection raged to 
fullness at the very thought of entering 
Sara’s lower depths. 

First, | wanted to check out the mas- 
sive hooters that had drawn my eyes 
away from the cameras so many times. 
“Take off your blouse,” I demanded. 

“You take off yours,” Sara choked 
out between mouthfuls of my sex. That 
seemed fair. I tore off my clothes, care- 
ful not to wrinkle the skirt my wife had 
pressed that morning, and fucked Sara’s 
face even as she tugged at her bra 
straps. When her two fleshy majesties 
spilled out, I almost fainted at the 
mountains of creamy pink sweater meat. 
I had to rub my dong between them be- 
fore | exploded. Employing every ounce 
of self-control in my body, I managed to 
slap my ham against her chest, and 
stroked her titties gently with my rigid 
wand. Sara’s nipples rose for a standing 
ovation, and seemed to cry, “Go, 
Bobby! Go, Bobby!” Encouraged, I 
mashed her mams together and plowed 
the breast valley. 

“I’m ready for you,” groaned Sara. “I 
want your fingers in my pussy and your 
cock in my hot ass.” I decided to keep 
things interesting by giving her the oppo- 
site of what she asked for. Laying Sara 
on her side, I straddled her from behind 
and seared open her gash with my shaft. I 
followed up each nudge into her womb 
with a saliva-soaked finger in the bum. 
As I predicted, she went wild and 
grabbed my balls for ballast. 

My hand that wasn’t exploring Sara’s 
colon mauled her flopping jugs, tweak- 
ing at the tops and squeezing hard 
enough to make her scream. I continued 
my pounding as Sara’s snatch grew ever 
wetter. Soon, the spillover of natural lube 
had her sphincters primed for my baby’s 


ening booty burned my choad into or- 
gasm. I leaned back and howled as cum 
gushed out of my rocket and into Sara’s 
bowels. The gooey wetness loosened her 
up again, and I dipped in her spermy 
depths with a few more strokes before 
retracting. 

“That was great,” she sighed, wiping 
my splooge off her bottom. To my hor- 


ror, I realized she was cleaning herself 


with my brand-new blouse! I screamed 
and tore it out of her sticky hands. 
“Jesus,” gasped Sara, surprised. 


SII-OBEY | 


"1-800-311-6239 | 


“Don’t be so uptight!” I glowered at her, 
checked my makeup in a nearby mirror, 
and stormed out. 

I mean, fuck that bitch. Now, each 
night when I put on a dress and fuck my 
wife in the rear, I’m so glad I ended up 
with a woman who appreciates a nice 
outfit. 


Jamestown, New York 


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arm. I eased off her cunt, teased her taint | 
with the tip of my dick, then slid into 
Sara’s butt with nad-churning ease. She 
immediately became orgasmic, and 
thrashed under my butt beating. Each 
pummel drove Sara to a new plateau of 
hysteria. | wedged in deep and fused our 
mouths together, exploring her oral cav- 
ity with my tongue. A finger in her poon 
saw Sara’s every crevice jammed with 
my being. 

“Oh no oh no oh no,” she babbled. 
“Here I come, baby!” Sara’s shitter 
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Restrictive attitudes in the 
name of so-called morality 
increasingly take the fun 
out of fucking. 
Through good, old-fashioned 
homespun knowledge, 
hearsay, scientific facts 
and outright lies, this series 
strives to spread the word 
that rubbing uglies is a 
beautiful experience. 


Guilt-Free Infidelity 


Married Men and Prostitution 
By Roberto Santiago 


Bob, a 38-year-old accountant, eagerly answers the 


knock at his hotel-room door. 

Finally, he thinks. When he opens the door, he is not 
disappointed. The woman before him looks just as she 
was described over the phone: tall, thin, young, Swedish- 
German with blond hair and Uber-long legs. She intro- 
duces herself as Christina. Within minutes they are in 
bed, where Christina lovingly takes Bob's seven inches 
down deep and pulls back achingly slow. 

This feels better than any pussy | have ever fucked. is 
the closest thing Bob has to a thought as Christina works 
his cock with her tongue and the muscle of her mouth. 
Fading from Bob’s memory are the dry flicks of the 
tongue that his wife of ten years, Karen, periodically 
bestows upon him—on his birthday, for instance, and 
their anniversary. 

Bob's dick pulses and tightens, about to explode. He 
comes with a blast of hot jizz, as violently as he did as a 
college student, many moons ago. 

After Christina leaves—which is almost immediately— 
Bob calls Karen. 

“How were your meetings today, darling?” Karen asks. 

“Wonderful,” Bob replies. “I'm just kicking back now. | 
miss you, honey. | can't wait to see you tomorrow.” 

“| can’t wait either,” Karen coos. 

Bob hangs up and reflects on how lucky he is to have 
a wife like Karen—and access to the anonymous, thera- 
peutic mouths and cunts of hookers. 


* * * 


Mike, a 46-year-old Chicago engineer, has been mar- 
ried for 12 years and has one child. He says he has a 
strong relationship with his wife. But the first thing Mike 
does when he settles into a hotel room during a business 
trip is open the Yellow Pages and turn to the escort-ser- 
vices section. 

“| don't consider what | do cheating on my wife,” 
Mike avers. “I do this simply because | 
want to fuck other women, without 
the deception and emotional com- 
mitment that an affair would 
entail. | would never have an 
affair. That would be wrong. The 
act of paying for sex is anony- 
mous and purely physical. It's 
like masturbating, but instead 
of having a magazine, you have 
a woman. 

“Hookers don't do anything 
better than my wife,” Mike adds. 
“But they are different. Their 
pussies feel different. Their 
breasts feel different. Some are 
real young—college age. Some 
are black, Hispanic or Asian. The 
excitement is the newness, not a 
particular sex act.” 

According to the Prostitutes 
of New York (PONY), most men 


May HUSTLER 


who frequent hookers are like Mike—married men over 
the age of 30 who do not consider what they do cheating 
on their wives. 

“Working girls don’t consider what we do cheating 
either,” notes PONY member Tracy Quan, one of the 
nation’s most outspoken advocates for prostitution. 
“Most of us have boyfriends or husbands and, like the 
men we Service, we separate the two. For us, it’s a job; 
for them, it’s a form of marital therapy.” 

Going to prostitutes, Mike argues, is safe. Condoms 
are mandatory for both oral and straight sex, and are 
removed immediately after ejaculation. Anal sex is a no- 
no. In addition, Mike patronizes only escort services and 
in-call, apartment-house bordellos. He would never 
cruise the streets for a hooker. 

“Only an idiot would go out on the street for a hook- 
er,” he declares. “It's dangerous and sleazy. You can get 
robbed or arrested. It’s cheaper getting sex on the 
streets, but the risks aren’t worth it.” 

Like Mike, Fred, a 38-year-old Boston accountant, 
would never seek sex on the streets. Married for ten 
years, Fred lives in a comfortable home with his wife and 
three children. He started patronizing callgirls after a 
year of marriage. 

Fred says he goes to escort services because he gets 
horny and it gives him a quick fix, no different than smok- 
ing a good cigar, sipping a glass of fine wine or buying 
courtside seats at an NBA game. 

“| would feel guilty if | went to a real woman,” he 
says. “Having an affair would be disrespectful to my 
wife. Hookers are safe. They don’t talk. You don’t know 
them, and they don’t know you.” 

Fred claims that hookers have saved his marriage. 

“My wife is not very good at giving blowjobs,” he 
reveals, “and doesn't particularly like giving them. We 
used to fight about it all the time, and it put a strain on 
our relationship. Then, a year after getting married, | fig- 
ured divorcing her over the issue of blowjobs would be 
silly. | love her. That's when hookers came into my life. 
Now | don't pressure my wife into oral sex anymore.” 

Kent, a 61-year-old Houston attorney who has been 
married for 29 years and has two grown children, says that 
he originally thought there was something wrong with him 
when he wanted to fuck women other than his wife. 

“It was either go to a hooker or have an affair,” he 
relates, “| called an escort service because | was afraid 
of going out on the streets. I'm glad | did. It turned out to 
be a fun experience.” 

Kent says that through escort services and apartment- 
house bordellos, he has been able to fulfill his sexual 
fantasies. He finally was able to sleep with a black 
woman, and he recently hired a black woman and a 
Chinese woman for a ménage a trois. 

“In the real world, arranging a threesome with a 
young black and a young Chinese woman would be 
impossible for an old white guy like me,” he concedes. 
“But with prostitution, for just $300 | can live out a fanta- 
sy and never get caught.” 


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Kent says the women took charge. 

“They slipped a condom on me, and both 
sucked me,” he recalls. “Then the Chinese girl 
rode me while the black woman let me suck her 
big tits. They switched, back and forth, back and 
forth. The black woman pulled off my condom and 
rubbed my cock between the cheeks of her ass 
while she straddled me. It felt like | was in her 
pussy. When | came, | almost screamed. My cum 
went all over the black girl's ass, and the Chinese 
girl rubbed it into her skin. It was just like the 
movies. | was so spent, | almost passed out.” 

Mike, the engineer, also appreciates the fan- 
tasy element, but he leans toward a more all- 
American look. 

“| guess fashion-model-thin blondes with big 
tits are what we were raised to like,” he allows. 
“My wife is a brunette. But to me, blondes have 
always been the Rolls-Royce of women: great 
looking and a fun ride—but you need a lot of 
money to own them. Give me a blonde, and that 
is when | come my hardest.” 

Accountant Fred, on the other hand, favors 
Hispanic women with brown skin and blondes 
with long legs. 

“There's magic when a dark woman or a 
blonde with long legs sucks your cock,” he 
raves. “They make you come with just their 
mouths—with these deep, long sucks.” 

“| love my wife and have great sex with her, 
but there is nothing worse than feeling as if your 
life is passing you by when it comes to sex,” 
says Kent. “Hookers give me energy, make me 
feel young. | don’t stare at my secretary's blouse 
or waste money on topless bars or bring pornog- 
raphy into the home. My excess sexual energy is 
taken care of elsewhere, and | come home 
relaxed and happy as a clam.” 

Such attitudes do not sit well with psy- 
chotherapist Dr. Judy Kuriansky, author of 
Generation Sex (Harper Collins, 1995). 

“It is so typical of men to claim that because 
money is being exchanged, they are not cheat- 
ing on their mates,” says Kuriansky. “The act is 
the same. It is no different than if they went 
into a bar and had a one-night stand with a girl 
they picked up. 

“And it is dangerous. Condoms decrease the 
chances of getting a sexually transmitted dis- 
ease, but what if the condom tears or loosens? 
Prostitutes have sex with hundreds of different 
men and get infected with something sooner or 
later. And what about crabs, genital warts and 
other things you can get without intercourse? 
Men who go to prostitutes are showing that 
they do not care for their wives.” 

Kuriansky argues that a married man who 
insists on sleeping with other women is not 
making the effort to create a better sex life with 
his wife and is emotionally distant from her. 

“Most of these men are usually insensitive to 


the sexual needs of their wives,” she maintains. 
“They get bored with sleeping with the same 
woman because they refuse to make a spiritual, 
emotional and physical link with their wives. 
That is real sex. And once you have that, sex is 
always exciting and new. But men who discon- 
nect the physical and the mental are just mak- 
ing excuses for their own insensitivities.” 

Fred, Mike and Kent all strongly disagree. 
They contend that their sex lives with their 
wives are good, and argue that sleeping with 
hookers has improved their sex lives at home. 

“| appreciate my wife more,” claims Kent. “I 
no longer have to fantasize when | see a hot girl 
on the street. | know that if | want that, | can 
get it with some cash and a phone call. But my 
wife? That is sacred. The sex | have with her is 
love. The sex with hookers is fucking.” 

Mike thinks that Kuriansky is letting her 
female hang-ups get in the way of male reality. 

“Men have always bought sex, while women 
have always sold it,” he says. “Men and women 
are different. A woman would rather spend 
$100 on shoes than get laid by some surfer 
dude. A man would rather spend $100 to get 
laid by a pretty girl than buy shoes.” 

Kuriansky considers these rationalizations 
tepid. She argues that any married man who 
wants to sleep with a woman other than his 
wife must critically examine his marriage. 

“Many men avoid this kind of critical self- 


WHAT HOMOSEXUALS 
TELL THEIR 
CHILDREN 


May HUSTLER 


Sex Play “Hookers give me energy, make me feel young. My excess sexual energy is taken 


care of elsewhere, and | come home relaxed and as happy as a clam.” 


examination because they don't like the answers 
that come up,” maintains Kuriansky. “It’s looking 
at the mirror and not liking what they see—treal- 
izing that there is so much more they can do to 
create a happier, healthier marriage.” 

The men shrug off Kuriansky’s comments. 

“If it weren't for callgirls, my marriage would 
have ended a long time ago,” Kent insists. 

“The day | decide to have an affair, the day | 
decide to get physically and emotionally 
involved with a woman other than my wife— 
that is when things are bad,” says Fred. 

Tracy Quan also thinks that the therapist is 
off base. 

“Kuriansky articulates the point of view of a 
middle-class woman who has no understanding 
of men and their sexuality,” says Quan. “Unlike 
women, men can easily distinguish the differ- 
ence between fucking and making love. Porn 
and hookers are a form of relaxation and enter- 
tainment, not a replacement for love or emo- 
tions. But women like Kuriansky constantly 
impose the female view of sex on men, which is 
grossly unfair.” 

Prostitute Laurie Sue, who works at an apart- 
ment-house bordello, may have the final word 
on the topic: 

“Working girls are aides-de-camp in main- 
taining marriages, not the enemies,” she 
declares. “None of my married regulars have 
ever gotten a divorce!" @& 


PUT YOUR TOOTH 
UNOER YOUR PILLOW, 
AND THE TOOTH FAIRY 
WILL VISIT YOU IN 
THE NIGHT ANO 
FUCK YOU UP 


43 


A Golden-Tongued Primer 
by Byron Birdsong, M.F.A., Ph.D. 


Illustration by Lenny Mace 


Sweet-talking a lady is an art 
and a science. 


As with karate, sculpture or nuclear physics, 
the casual layman can profit from 
studying techniques and inspirations of 
an expert in the field. 


Meet Byron Birdsong 
—Master of Finagling Articulations 
and Philanderer’s Diction. 


Talk to Women With a sharp intake of air, Byron lowers himself into the frigid 


depths of his sunken marble tub. “What | know about talking to chicks,” he boasts, “! could write a book.” 


Kate Mignon has heard everything. A 
lanky, 5-8 brunette whose loopy, long- 
legged strides jolt her buns and breasts 
into quakes of flesh that render her every 
footstep a sexual seismograph, Kate is 
the most highly appraised cocktail wait- 
ress at Slocum's Grill, where a few 
drinks and two slabs of meat will set the 
studly power diner back slightly more 
than his Gucci loafers did. 

On average, three men hit on Kate each 
shift. Smooth-rapping operators, they talk 
their game and come away empty. These 
cool customers, each dismissed by Kate's 
tight, wordless smile, are not losers. 
Losers are banned from Slocum's. The 
pursuers of Kate are rocking creative 
types, investment-house lords, boy-won- 
der cyber tycoons; still, their verbal 
maneuvers uniformly fail to win Mignon. 

Proudly deaf to pussy-hound blandish- 
ments, Kate is about to meet Byron 
Birdsong. Byron Birdsong’s financial 
empire depends upon his ability to com- 
municate with women. Byron, who stands 
out in the Slocum’s milieu, has been 
brought here to pit his professional 
expertise against Kate Mignon. 

Under his characteristic blade- 
brimmed felt hat, Byron's deep, soulful 
eyes lazily take stock. Byron claims the 
\ blood of a French-Cherokee mother and 


TOMORROW, TOMORROW, 


I HOPE NEWT GINGRICH 


EATS SHIT AND DIES 


¥ vere a “SA 


46 


an Italian-lrish father. With hereditary 
disdain, he thumbs the gold loop in his 
ear, pinkie poised to flash a diamond 
ring. His shirt—silk, brash, open at the 
neck—contrasts with the suit, also silk, 
burnished, shining in any group of suits. 
The shoes, a nod to the traditional attire 
of Byron's guild, are Alpine-green croco- 
dile, matching the feather in his hathand. 
“That the bitch?” Byron indicates 
Kate Mignon. The leggy beauty rests her 
elbows on the bar and leans forward to 
place an order with the mixologist. 
“Excuse me, miss.” Byron moves his 


face into Kate's world. 


“Sir?” responds Kate behind her pro- 


fessional shield of conviviality. 


“Your ass.” Byron nods at Kate's out- 
thrust nates. “It’s blocking my view.” 

Her mercenary smile unchanged, Kate 
pivots and stalks away. Her flesh springs 
in ample, rounded portions. 

Kate returns with Slocum’s general 
manager and two brawny cooks, who 
escort Byron to the boundary of the park- 
ing lot. 

“Loser,” they brand him. 

“What can I say?” says Byron. “A 
bitch like her ain't worth talking to.” 

# * * 
“The first rule of pussy is you’ve got to 
talk to it to fuck it,” iterates Byron 


May HUSTLER 


Birdsong, at ease in the private sauna of 
his VIP suite high above the Sunset 
Strip. “In fact, you’ve got to talk to a 
chick to get her to do anything.” 

Naked and glistening, Byron stands in 
steam. Flexing, coiled like a boxer eager 
for his next sparring partner, he moves 
toward the cooling pool. Two adoring, 
devoted, hot-buttered women drape a 
tiger-print robe across the champ’s pow- 
erful, broad shoulders. “And the first rule 
of talking to pussy,” Byron continues, “is 
don’t waste your breath.” 

With a sharp intake of air, Byron low- 
ers himself into the frigid depths of his 
sunken marble tub, “What I know about 
talking to chicks,” he boasts, “I could 
write a book.” 

The robust expert soaks in vitalizing 
iciness and composes a preface to his 
proposed tome. Tentatively titled A Word 
to the Ladies: They Know What I'm 
Talking About, Birdsong’s treatise on 
chatting up chicks begins with a rhetori- 
cal statement of purpose. 

Question: Why do we talk to women? 

Answer: So they will do what we 
want them to do. 

When a man engages a female in con- 
versation, he usually wants her to (one) 
suck his dick. Sometimes he speaks to her 
(two) in hopes that she will give him her 
money. Often, men talk to women in an 
effort to (three) persuade them to shut the 
fuck up and get off our goddamn backs. 

As Birdsong succinctly points out in 
his melodious prose, any of the afore- 
mentioned trio of goals can be achieved 
by physical force, but violence against 
the weaker sex is a low-class felony. 

“The spoken word separates us from 
the animals,” declares Birdsong, ruddy, 
vibrant and freshly dressed after his ther- 
apeutic glacial bath, “and also from the 
jag-offs, the jailbirds and the married 
lame who grovels at his littke woman’s 
every command.” 

According to Byron, the fine art of ver- 
bal ensnarement can be mastered by any 
man, and even by that man’s accountant. 

Myth: Not just anybody can talk 
trash to women the way Byron 
Birdsong talks trash to women. 

Fact: Say whatever mess comes to 
mind, but don’t expect to get laid like 
Birdsong gets laid. 

“A guy has got to say the things that 
are the right things for him to say, and 
he’s got to say them to the right girl,” 
summarizes Byron. Admiring his reflec- 
tion as his personal, mirrored elevator 
descends to the parking structure, he 
checks off three cases in point. 

(continued on page 54) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY CLIVE MCLEAN 


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Middleweight Dolph insists on teaching 
his girlfriend, Clarissa, how to box. 

“You've got to learn how to protect 
yourself, honey,” he insists. 

But Clarissa already knows how to 
stop a would-be attacker in his tracks. 
“| lead with my left,” she explains, 
grabbing Dolph’s muscle. “Then | duck.” 
Poor Dolph’s been sucker punched. 


= 


Talk to Women 


(continued from page 46) 


“If a girl needs positive reinforcement, find out what she wants 


to do, then go and do it. When a broad is uppity, ask her where she'd like to go, then haul her in the opposite direction.” 


Case A: Buster Droops, a quick-wit- 
ted though sarcastic record-store clerk 
fluent in contemporary culture, has a hot 
flash for the classy trim of Cora 
Flanksteak. Cora, a blond icon whose 
parallels to Heather Locklear go far 
beyond physical appearance, is a control- 
ling partner in her own advertising 
agency. Cora innocently asks Buster 
Droops about a boxed-set collection of 
mid-’70s R&B soul hits. “If you need 
sexual healing, sister,” advises Droops, 
putting on his shabby Richard Roundtree 
Shaft impersonation, “get up; I feel like 
being a sex machine.” 

Cora politely thanks Droops for his 
assistance, summons the store manager 
and has the mouthy clerk fired. Droops’s 
spiel, appropriate for him, was wasted on 
the wrong woman. 

Case B: Buster Droops has used his 
sweet-talking ways to get his job back 
from the record-store manager. A teeny- 
bopper, 24-year-old Julia Groundround, 
pops in and wants to know why her 33- 
year-old stepmother sneers that Julia’s 
Green Day records are derivative ripoffs 
of mid-’80s punk rock. “Young lady,” 
responds Droops, taking on the oily tones 
of a touchy-feely uncle, “music is a 
cyclical progression. We all influence 
\_ one another. What comes before is con- 


GR 


APUATION 


tinued in what comes after. Our lives are 
mantras. | chant mine as you hum yours; 
perhaps we might harmonize on the same 
wavelength. Let us meet for herbal tea in 
an incense-clouded place of warm gen- 
tleness to share our concurrent vibra- 
tions.” In answer, Julia Groundround 
warns all her friends to stay away from 
the smarmy freak at the record store. 
Julia is actually Buster’s type and 
would be open to meeting his dick, but he 
talked a talk that was not organic to him. 
USCase C: Buster Droops is concluding 
that record-store clerking isn’t such a 
great job for meeting girls after all when 
Rhonda Ribeye presents the winning com- 
bination. Rhonda doesn’t like music. 
She’s in the store at the insistence of her 
boyfriend, Wade, who is immersed in the 
used-CD stacks. Rhonda, an inch from 
dumping Wade, asks Buster Droops if 
there is a way to turn down the volume of 
Hootie and the Blowfish blasting through 
the in-store speakers. “There is a way,” 
responds Buster Droops helpfully. “I will 
hand you my Glock 9-mm 12-clip with an 
extra slug in the chamber. For starters, 
you put a bullet in each of the eight speak- 
ers located at the corners of this structure; 
that leaves five shots, one for each band 
member, another for their manager. Then 
we reload and embark upon a cross-coun- 


BIRTHDAY 
eee 


“I'm looking for a ‘Sorry 1 Butt-Fucked Your Sister’ card.” 


54 


May HUSTLER 


try crime spree, stopping only for drugs 
and quiet moments of blissful, orgasm- 
induced meditation. My car is the black 
Buick behind the store. I get off at 6 p.m.” 

! have lost it, thinks Droops as Ribeye 
walks away without comment. / will be 
fired. She will have me committed. 

But Droops has stumbled upon the 
right combination. He has said something 
that, though fanciful, resonates with deep 
truth for himself. When Droops drags ass 
out to his car, Rhonda Ribeye, the right 
girl to hear him, is waiting there. 

Byron Birdsong and his pair of high- 
rump honeys survey Byron’s row of pri- 
vate parking spaces. “Which car do we 
take today?” teases tycoon Byron, “The 
Jaguar? Or the Towncar?” 

“The Lincoln,” says the downier of his 
two companions. 

“The Jag,” opts her sleek brunet sister. 

Byron gets into the Lincoln. As the 
blonde fires up the car, Byron explains: 
“Asking a chick what she wants to do 
is always a slick move. The play works 
two ways: If a girl needs positive rein- 
forcement, find out what she wants to do, 
then go and do it. On the other hand, 
when a broad is uppity, ask her where 
she’d like to go, then haul her in the 
opposite direction. This is an advanced 
theory of pussy communication, and | 
don’t expect it to make complete sense 
right away. Beginners should stick with 
complimenting the bitch.” 

Basic flattery is easy, but advanced 
puffery is not quite so simple. Birdsong’s 
recommended strategy is to start with a 
few astute comments about a woman’s 
obvious attributes—her mesmerizing 
eyes, the modern cut of her hair, the fact 
that domestic animals are attracted to 
her. A string of commentary upon a 
woman's strong points establishes a 
speaker’s credibility. He can move on to 
boost proud facets of the lady’s character 
that she might be unaware of. 

“Your spontaneity,” a gaming man 
might say, “thrills me. At any time, you 
might swoop on my cock and suck my 
balls up through my peehole.” 

“Do you really mean that?” she asks. 

Be careful. When women talk back, 
the wise man pays attention. 

“Listening to a woman is complicated,” 
sighs Byron Birdsong, tippling a cocktail 
in the rear of the Towncar as his flaxen 
chauffeur glides toward downtown 
Oakland. “A girl uses certain words when 
she talks. She meant to use different 
words, and thinks she did. She believes 
she has cast a nuance to inveigle her male 
listener. On top of that, she spins a 

(continued on page 64) 


WAINE [TNSS45r— 


, Nobel Prize!” 


“Hello 


Teresa May has been stranded for hours. 

“Yeah, | know—I'm such a girl.” She rolls her eyes. “| don’t know a thing 
about cars. Well, why should |? I'm never alone in a car. | mean, if this backseat 
could talk!” She shakes her head at the worn upholstery. 

‘This is what | get for driving all by myself.” Teresa complains, kicking a 
useless tire. “Now | need a cute guy to come along and jump-start me. After 
that, he can fix my car.” 


Photography by Matti Klatt 


’ 


SO ee ae 


I 


Fc " - 


a r 3 he 
A cee Sa 0) ree 


v 


Talk to Women 


dick, balding poltroon can, provided he stays on his verbal toes.” 


rationalization of her selfish motives. At 
her core, the woman’s real message, the 
text of what this bitch must hear to feel 
secure in her world, is hidden from her- 
self. The man listens to the lady’s stacked 
levels of meaning simultaneously, formu- 
lating the responses that will get him what 
he wants from a chick who has no clue 
what the fuck she just said.” 

Confused? Who wouldn’t be. The 
problem of talking women gives Byron a 
headache. His backseat companion takes 
Byron’s throbbing temples between her 
fingers and eases the hurt from his skull, 
allowing him to put the complex dilem- 
ma into simple perspective: 

“Let’s stay in tonight,” suggests 
sprightly Nola Rumproast to Charles 
Sallow, her steady date of a month and a 
half, “What makes Saturday night such a 
big deal? Why fight all those crowds at a 
fancy restaurant and force down a mouth- 
watering meal that will cost half your 
week’s salary and then go from there to a 
glittering nightclub with an astronomical 
cover charge and a six-drink minimum, 
with Bud at eight bucks a bottle, just to 
follow that with an after-hours dance rave 
and get back here in the wee morning, 
ready to eat each other alive? Doesn't that 
seem like a lot of bother?” 

Nola Rumproast, if called to the stand, 


would testify that she had said to Charles 
Sallow: “Are you sure you don’t mind 
going out again tonight?” 

Talking to girlfriends, Rumproast will 
insinuate that her subtext encouraged Mr. 
Sallow to treat her like a princess. 

If prodded by her analyst, Nola might 
admit that her manipulation of Charles is 
an attempt to cover her own feelings of 
inadequacy and shame by creating a 
sense of self-value, if only for her pussy. 

Attentive Charles Sallow hears Nola’s 
screech for attention as Rumproast 
putting on the bitch. She has an itch in 
her rectum, and she needs a brisk spank- 
ing and a vigorous anal-drubbing to clear 
the cobwebs from her soul. 

The appropriate response? 

“This Sallow,” opines Birdsong, whose 
backseat therapist has swallowed him 
whole, “serves himself best by disclosing 
that he wants to tie Nola to her bedposts 
and ream her ass. After pounding her shit 
back up into her brain, he should ease out 
of the relationship. She’s telling him that 
she wants to be punished. Few men have 
the discipline to accept such a role with- 
out soon hurting themselves.” 

“That’s what I did,” verifies Charles 
Sallow, endorsing the sagacity of Byron 
Birdsong. “Rode her ass like she was a 
carnival attraction. I stuck with Nola for 


“He hates it when I call him my ‘pimple.’ ” 


64 


May HUSTLER 


(continued from page 54) 


“If Charles Sallow can talk to women, any no-looks, small- 


a month, but she started blaming me for 
her own cheap-slut feelings, which I 
understand from attending a seminar 
with Byron and listening to his tapes is 
expected behavior for her type of 
woman. | cut her loose.” 

“See what I mean?” asks Byron, buck- 
ling his pants, tension and complexity 
drained from him. “If Charles Sallow can 
talk to women, any no-looks, small-dick, 
balding poltroon can, provided he stays 
on his verbal toes.” 

The essential skill for compelling 
discourse with women is versatility. 

“Politeness, sternness, flattery, 
insults,” chants Birdsong, folding his 
menu. “An expert shifts his tone, alters 
his inflection, reverses his thrust as resis- 
tance changes.” Byron takes a long 
glance at his Le Chateau Obsequie wait- 
ress. She has a familiar air. Surprise! The 
server is Kate Mignon, down on her luck 
from Slocum’s. “There is a time and a 
place for everything,” promises Byron. 

Kindness, tolerance. 

“Excuse me, miss,” says Byron solici- 
tously. “I asked for skim milk with my 
coffee, and this is heavy cream.” 

“I’m awfully sorry,” replies Kate 
Mignon, flipping her lush, sensual hair as 
though she were flicking Byron-the-bug 
from her fair shoulder. 

Patience, understanding. 

“I understand,” consoles Byron, stir- 
ring his black coffee. “You must be new 
here and overwhelmed. There’s so much 
for a girl to remember.” 

“T said I'll get it.” Kate snorts off. 

Authority, discipline, intimidation. 

“Your skim milk, sir.” 

“Miss,” inquires Byron, “may I have 
your name?” 

“We don’t give customers our names.” 

“I’m not your basic customer. I’m a 
half owner of this restaurant.” 

Reprieve, forgiveness. 

Kate stares skeptically and hard at 
Byron. He is not joking. “I’m sorry. I 
didn’t recognize you. My name is Kate 
Mignon.” 

“Kate. Glad to have you with us.” 

“You're awfully kind.” 

Aggressive, closer. 

“Let’s go for a drive and have sex,” sug- 
gests Birdsong with amiable insistence. 

A few minutes later, Byron picks him- 
self off the parking-lot asphalt, where he 
has been tossed, stoops at a car mirror and 
checks his hair, his profile, his clothes. 

“How you look when you’re talking 
counts for something,” he says in part- 
ing. “I never been in Le Chateau 
Obsequie in my life, but I look like I own 
the place. That's why what I say goes.” @& 


Photography by Matti Klatt 


| Boawureayl 
Pn ONTOS S 


A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A TOKYO GANGSTER 


Blood was all over the goddamn place. 
Rivers of crimson flowed slowly across 
the surface of the low, teak table. Blood 
seeped into the tatami-matted floor; it 
had splattered like buckshot fire across 
the exquisite rice-paper doors. What a 
fucking drag. Blood on the lapels of his 
new Armani blazer, even on his socks. 
What a mess. What a goddamn show. 
That was Friday night. Now it’s 
Monday morning, and the theatrics of 48 
hours ago rerun in Yasuo Ito’s mind like 
a bad movie. He loathes all the melodra- 
ma and non-moneymaking bullshit that 
goes down in the yakuza. Certainly, he 
believes in the traditional yakuza val- 
ues of loyalty and sacrifice—but not if 
they’re exploited for self-aggrandize- 
ment. And, in Ito’s opinion, Tanaka, the 
41-year-old yakuza soldier who severed 


part of his ring finger as an act of atone- | 


ment for shortchanging the organization 
after a small scam, is a low-class bum. 
Shit, Ito recalls, Tanaka's pinkie was 
already missing as the result of another 
screwup two years ago. 

The Tokyo sky is the color of con- 
crete. There’s no break in the grayness, 
which, from Ito’s living-room window, 
seems to cover the entire 830 square 
miles, 23 wards and 12 million residents 
of Tokyo. During the working day, cen- 


tral Tokyo’s population will swell to 
seven times its nighttime number. That’s 
a lot of people, a lot of goddamn oppor- 
tunity. Ito likes to think about huge 
numbers, about the opportunities to 
make money; that’s why he joined the 
yakuza—not for B-movie dramatics. 

It’s 8:30 a.m. Wearing a black-silk suit 
and a black tie, Ito stands in front of his 
luxury apartment building in Tokyo’s 
pricey Nishi Azabu district. His face is 
ruddy, his jaw strong, and his thin lips 
are clenched around a Marlboro Light. 
Ito takes a drag, then runs his manicured 
fingers through his black, punched- 
permed hair. A shiny, white Nissan 
President—a Jaguar-like domestic 
model—pulls into the parking lot and 
stops beside Ito. Toyama, Ito’s driver 
and bodyguard, gets out of the car, slams 
the door and bows deeply. 

Ito is a 46-year-old boss in the 4,500- 
strong Kowa-kai yakuza organization, 
one of the nine major groups that control 
Tokyo racketeering. His rank is analo- 
gous to a department head in a corpora- 
tion. There are about 400 men under 
Ito’s direct command, At the relatively 
advanced age of 30, he was recruited into 
the Kowa-kai after making a name as a 
no-nonsense tour manager in the yakuza- 
dominated Japanese music industry. The 


“Lonely transsexuals reunited with their genitals—the focus of this edition of Geraldo!” 


76 


May HUSTLER 


Ya kuza Yakuza organizations are about moneymaking by any means possible. A yakuza group 
might be involved in conventional mob business while simultaneously financing a legitimate corporation. 


Kowa-kai wanted him for his brains, not 
brawn, but Ito can wield a deadly weapon 
with the best of them. In his early twen- 
ties, he once settled a “childhood score” 
by viciously slashing his old rival with 
the yakuza weapon of choice, a long 
Samurai sword. The act of vengeance 
earned Ito 19 months in jail. 

“When I was young, I just loved to 
fight,” he says. “I was uncontrollable. 
Now, I'd rather make a shrewd business 
investment than bust a nose, I can always 
get other guys to bust noses while I’m 
reading the Nikkei Index.” Ito smiles. 

“The difference between the straight, 
corporate businesses and a yakuza are sub- 
tle,” he muses. “Everywhere they are, we 
are; they’re diversified, and so are we.” 

Yakuza organizations are about money- 
making by any means possible. A yakuza 
group might be involved in conventional 
mob business such as narcotics distribu- 
tion while simultaneously financing a 
legitimate high-technology corporation, 
and also practicing sokaiya. Sokaiya is a 
blackmail technique that plays on the fun- 
damental Japanese fear of confrontation. 
A yakuza will buy a single share of a 
blue-chip stock, then threaten the corpo- 
ration that he will “disrupt” the share- 
holders’ meeting by asking awkward 
questions—an unacceptable occurrence. 
Its seamless, uninformative and, hence, 
successful meeting at risk, the corpora- 
tion duly hands over the hush money. 

A call comes through on Ito’s wafer- 
thin cellular phone. The calls will come 
steadily as various sub-bosses roll out 
their futons, light cigarettes and check in 
with Ito, their oyabun—literally “father,” 
but in yakuza slang, “boss.” Ito is being 
driven to the funeral of a Kowa-kai hang- 
er-on named Cato, who had been chroni- 
cally obese and died of a heart attack at 
the age of 51. 

“When he was alive, Cato was noth- 
ing,” smiles Ito as the car glides toward 
the 333-meter Tokyo Tower, an orangey 
Eiffel Tower knockoff. “But dead, the 
pig is worth his weight in gold.” 

The death of any man in or on the 
periphery of the yakuza is an opportu- 
nity for easy money. Yakuza etiquette 
ensures that the funeral will be well 
attended by “mourners” bearing beauti- 
fully ornamented envelopes stuffed 
with Y10,000 ($100) bills. Ito’s job is to 
accept the envelopes on behalf of the 
widow, then split the proceeds with her. 

* Bo Bd 
Sharp sunlight has broken through the 
clouds, It makes precise geometric shad- 
ows in the small, multilevel Buddhist 
(continued on page 102) 


~ 
olla 
‘> 


HEY, WHAT DO You SAY 
WE SWITCH PARTNERS? , 


lee 


“If |look happy,” confides aspiring model 


Tabatha, “it is because | am. The American 


photographer says he will make me a big 


star. All | have to do is take off my clothes 


and smile. | do that anyway!” 
Tabatha demonstrates. 


“He also said | will have to leave Tahiti 
and come to the States.” She frowns. “I will 
be sad to leave my home, but he assures me 
that Americans are very friendly, and that 
the men will welcome me with open arms. 


Is this true?” 


Well—maybe with one open arm. 


HUSTLERS HONEY 


May 1996 
Call 1-800-HUSTLER 


(1°800°487°8537) 


NY Gy 


2 » 
pe A 


x7 
= 


Waite resting up after six whirlwind days of creating 
Earth and all creatures great and small, God was kick- 
ing back in His office up in heaven when Archangel 
Gabriel stopped by to shoot the breeze. 

“Gabe,” God rumbled, “you should see what I’ve 
just done.” 

“Yeah, God?” Gabriel asked, pilfering one of God’s 
prime cigars from the box on His desk. 

“I just made Earth—oceans and forests full of beauti- 
ful and terrifying animals—and two creatures I call 
man and woman. Go down there. Check it out. Tell me 
what you think of everything.” 

Later that day Gabriel returned, grinning. “You've 
outdone yourself this time, God. Earth is beautiful. I'm 
loving the animals. And those humans? Terrific!” 

Gabriel looked down uncomfortably. “There's just 
one thing, God. Those humans don’t have genitals.” 

God let out a sigh. “I knew I forgot something! Do 
me a favor, would you? There’s a bag over in the cor- 
ner full of spare parts. Take some genitals and bring 
them down to Earth for the humans. Okay?” 

After pulling out a variety of parts, Gabriel stopped 
at the door. “Any special instructions, God?” 

“Not especially,” God replied. “Just make sure you 
give the cunt to the dumb one.” 


arcction: What do you call a bulldyke endowed with 
big thumbs? 
Answer: Well-hung. 


Bu» turned to his not-too-bright cousin at the con- 
struction site they worked on. “Jeez, Darwin, you’ve 
really been busting your ass today.” 

Dim-witted Cousin Darwin smiled and winked slyly. 
He lowered his voice to a sneaky whisper. “No, I’m 
just fooling the boss. You see that big pile of bricks? 
I’ve been carrying that same stack up and down that 
ladder all day long.” 


88 May HUSTLER 


ose, remove my dress.” 

“Si, senorita.” 

“José, remove my shoes and stockings.” 

“Si, senorita.” 

“José, remove my bra and panties.” 

“Si, senorita.” 

“And, José, the next time I catch you wearing my 
clothes, I'll fire you!” 


The HUSTLER Dictionary defines ambition as: a flea 
climbing an elephant’s leg intending to commit rape. 


Can came back from his vacation looking healthier 
and better rested than ever before. 

“You look great, Carl!” an amazed friend commented. 
“How the hell did you do it?” 

“A buddy of mine invited me up to his cabin for two 
weeks of mountain air, no nightlife, no booze and not a 
woman within miles.” 

“Was it fun?” his friend asked. 

“Who went?” 


A taxi driver picked up a nun and started to chat with 
her. “Being a nun must be tough. You know, no dating, 
no marriage, no sex.” 

“It’s not that bad,” the sister replied with a peaceful 
smile. “In fact, we don’t consider oral or anal copula- 
tion to be sexual acts. Free-minded sisters such as 
myself may undertake those practices as much and as 
often as we like.” 

The taxi driver, turned on by the horny nun, pulled 
over and asked her for a blowjob. She happily sucked 
him off. Then she lifted her habit and asked him to lick 
her ass and fuck it hard. 

When he was finished, the taxi driver hung his head 
and turned to the nun. “I feel terrible, Sister. I’ve got a 
confession to make: I’m married, and I have two kids.” 

“I’ve got a little confession of my own,” the nun 
started. “I’m not really a nun. I’m on my way to a cos- 
tume party, and my name is Bob.” 


Qhestion: Why did Sam’s wife get so pissed off after 
he had his pecker tattooed? 
Answer: He kept putting words in her mouth. 


HUSTLER Humor jokes are sent to us by our readers. If 
you've heard a gut-buster lately, why not send it our 
way? Submit your jokes on 3" X 5" cards, mailed in a 
sealed envelope, to HUSTLER Humor, 8484 Wilshire 
Boulevard, Suite 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211. If your 
joke is selected, we'll send you a check for $50. Sorry — 
we cannot return submissions. & 


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6.0 


WHY ARE AMERICA'S PORN STARS KILLING THEMSELVES? 
REPORT BY MARC MEDOFF + ILLUSTRATION BY GEOFFREY GRAHN 


SHAUNA GRANT. MEGAN LEIGH. SAVANNAH. CAL JAMMER. ALEX JORDAN. 
THEY HAD BEAUTY, GLAMOUR, MONEY, FAME—SEEMINGLY ENVIABLE LIVES; 
YET THEY CHOSE TO SNUFF THEMSELVES. IN THIS FIRST OF A TWO-PART ARTICLE, 
HUSTLER INVESTIGATES THE XXX INDUSTRY'S MYSTERIOUS, SUICIDAL DEATH WISH. 


Po rn Su icides The blond, green-eyed Jordan was hanging lifeless from the 


closet’s wooden clothing rod, a rope coiled around her neck, and a pair of handcuffs dangling from one wrist. 


It was Sunday evening, July 2, 1995, 
the middle of the Fourth of July holiday 
weekend in beautiful, sunny Marina Del 
Rey, California, and the popular adult- 
video actress known as Summer Knight 
was very worried. It had been over a week 
since she had heard from her close 
friend and neighbor, 31-year-old Alex 
Jordan, another top porn star. Knight 
arranged to meet a uniformed Los 
Angeles Sheriff's Department deputy at 
Jordan’s small, ground-floor apartment 
at 9:15 p.m. to file a missing person’s 
report. 

When the officer asked Knight for a 
recent photo of Jordan for his file, she 
looked around the apartment, casually 
opening the door to a walk-in closet in 
the next room. The young woman stum- 
bled back into the kitchen, crying hys- 
terically, The policeman raced to the 
closet. He came face-to-face with the 
no-longer-missing sex starlet. The 
blond, green-eyed Jordan was hanging 
lifeless from the closet’s wooden cloth- 
ing rod, a white-cotton rope coiled 


tightly around her neck, and a pair of 


handcuffs dangling from one wrist. Her 
once-pretty face was discolored and 
contorted, and blood seeped from the 
left corner of her mouth. She had been 
dead for several days, and her 5-7, 123- 


pound body had turned a mottled com- 
bination of maroon and green. 
* * cd 

For local law-enforcement officials, it 
was just another suicide by hanging—a 
grim but unavoidable statistic. But for 
the country’s pornography industry, 
unofficially headquartered just a few 
miles up the highway in the San 
Fernando Valley, Jordan’s grisly death 
was the third suicide of a well-known 
porn actor in less than a year, and the 
most recent in an increasing string of 
self-inflicted fatalities that has dogged 
the adult-entertainment community for 
more than a decade. 

After porn superstar Savannah’s 
death in July 1994, the suicide flood- 
gates in the adult-video industry 
seemed to open wide. Nancy Pera, the 
video vixen’s manager and close friend 
throughout her career, laments that 
Savannah's act may have inspired oth- 
ers: “They might have thought that if 
somebody as big and with seemingly 
such a good future as Savannah can do 
it, then shit—my life is a piece of shit 
compared to hers. Why don’t / do it?” 

And “they” did do it. In the wake of 
the blond bombshell’s death, a number 
of porn actresses threatened to follow in 
her path. The industry buzzed with 


“Here to begin downsizing, Mr. Flynt.” 


May 


HUSTLER 


rumors of one leading lady shooting 
herself in the stomach, and another 
gulping 50 Valiums. 

“They're just a very unstable group,” 
observes Patrick Riley, author of The 
X-Rated Videotape Star Index 
(Prometheus 1994), 

The adult-film industry is now being 
forced to face up to the reasons behind 
these suicides and attempts. Blame is 
being passed around as liberally as anal 
lube: narcotics involvement, abusive fam- 
ily backgrounds, emotional illness, finan- 
cial woes. But the main question is the 
role of the industry itself: Does the sex 
business cause these fundamental mal- 
adies (or worsen any pre-existing “condi- 
tions” among the talent), or does porn 
simply attract more than its fair share of 
ticking time bombs in the first place? 

“I think the porn industry can drive 
you to the brink,” declares former star- 
let Christina Angel. “Nothing in my life 
has ever brought me closer to suicide 
than the porn industry. The way they 
use people up and destroy people. All 
they care about is the money that they 
can make off of them.” 

But according to Karen Dunne- 
Maxim, co-coordinator of the Suicide 
Prevention Project at the University of 
Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey 
in Piscataway, it’s highly unlikely that 
“porn kills.” 

“Suicide itself is very complex,” she 
notes, “and when you have a group of 
people that suddenly report ‘a lot’ of 
suicides, such as recently with the New 
York City Police Department, you 
never really know why. Did they have a 
suicide in their family? Did they have a 
biological depression? Were they med- 
icating their pain with drugs and alco- 
hol—drugs and alcohol deepen a 
depression. Be wary about drawing a 
conclusion about pornography. There 
are thousands of police officers that 
don’t kill themselves.” 

An expert of a different sort agrees. 
“Porn is absolutely, 100 percent not 
responsible for these suicides,” asserts 
29-year-old Tiffany Million, a veteran 
porn actress who worked with Alex 
Jordan and dated Cal Jammer, both sui- 
cide victims. “People with insecure, 
fragile personalities—like us—are 
drawn to this business because we are 
desperately seeking attention and vali- 
dation. These people [porn talent] think 
that being in the limelight is going to 
solve all their problems.” 

According to sex-industry spokesper- 
sons, there have been perhaps a dozen 
suicides of pornographic movie stars 


She was the real fifth Beatle!” 


“Charlene LaRue... 


Porn Suicides Shauna Grant, by her parents’ own grudging admission, was 


clearly in trouble as a youth, long before she first dropped her panties for a camera. 


over the past 20 years. When such 
deaths are chronicled today, they usual- 
ly boil down to a “big five”: Shauna 
Grant, Megan Leigh, Savannah, Cal 
Jammer and Alex Jordan. A closer look 
at the lives of these stars may shed 
some light on whether porn was the 
cause of their death wishes—or only a 
symptom. 


SHAUNA GRANT 


It’s safe to say that Shauna Grant was | 


always miserable being a porn star. 

“She hated it; she hated it,” recalled 
Laurie Smith, a friend and fellow smut 
star, on the Frontline report “Death of a 
Porn Queen,” which aired in the late 
1980s. Indeed, XXX critics found 
Shauna to be an indifferent performer; 
while she had the look, she was an awk- 
ward “actress.” During her time in the 
business, making 30 movies, Shauna 
had little more than an abortion and a 
case of herpes to show for her efforts. 

In the spring of 1983, Shauna was 
introduced by her “guru,” director 
Bobby Hollander, to his cocaine dealer, 


a 44-year-old man named Jake Ehrlich. | 


Shauna announced she was “in love,” 
moved in with Ehrlich, and said she 
was getting out of the business. What 
she was, was addicted to cocaine, and 


ae 


SEE THE 
| eesuts oF [| 
B) sex 25¢ | 


94 


she was now dependent on Ehrlich to 
support her habit. 

“She was out of porn and had taken 
over her boyfriend’s drug business for a 
long time before she committed sui- 
cide,” recalls Jim South, head of the 
World Modeling Agency. “I loved 


Shauna dearly, but her death had noth- | 


ing to do with pornography.” 
* * 


| Shauna Grant, by her parents’ own 


grudging admission, was clearly in 
trouble as a youth, long before she first 
dropped her panties for a camera. Born 
Colleen Marie Applegate on May 30, 
1963, in Farmington, Minnesota, she 
seemed destined for the life of a whole- 
some, pretty, blond, small-town farm- 
girl. Instead, during her last year at 
Farmington High School, she became 
withdrawn, ditching her friends in favor 
of dating an older man. She began 
drinking, smoking pot and staying out 
all night. 

In December of 1981, after an argu- 
ment with her mother, the barely 18- 
year-old girl downed a bottle of pills in 
a suicide attempt; her stomach was 
pumped, and she survived. The troubled 
teen was forced to see a counselor, but 
according to People magazine, the ses- 
sions went nowhere. At the one meeting 


Bp==~—-a5-.-> 


; q\\ 


May HUSTLER 


Shauna’s parents were required to 
attend, her mother recalls, “nobody said 
much.” It was the first time the couple 
had ever sat down with their daughter 
to discuss her problems, but such open- 
ness was simply not “their way.” 

Both parents complained to Frontline 
that Shauna’s first suicide attempt was 
because “she wanted attention.” 

Shauna left home in March 1982 and 
moved to California with her boyfriend. 
She was soon working as a nude model 
for major men’s magazines, including 
HUSTLER and Penthouse. When her 
folks caught wind of her new lifestyle, 
they flew out to “save” her. Another 
major fight took place, Shauna stormed 
out, and in the fall of 1982, the girl with 
the “perfect breasts” and Midwestern 
good looks was making hard-core loops. 

Shauna returned to Minnesota for 
a visit in the fall of 1983, by this 
time a ragged, blood-soaked-handker- 
chief-toting cocaine junkie. To her par- 
ents, she once again denied drug use. 
Her father told People magazine, “I 
believed her because she was my daugh- 
ter. And because I wanted to believe her, 
I suppose.” 

To everyone who worked with her, 
Shauna had a problem. In her first year 
in the business, she made nearly 
$100,000, but reportedly spent most of 
it on cocaine. Photographer Johnny 
Castano recalls Shauna as “a terrible 
druggie, on drugs all the time.” And fel- 
low lensman Lance Kincaid says she 
was stoned constantly. 

“I knew Shauna from the start,” says 
Kincaid, “and she was always heavily 
involved with drugs. I saw her almost 
every day when she was working with 
Bobby Hollander. I once took her to 
the movies in Sherman Oaks, and she 
said she wanted some popcorn. I said, 
‘Oh, you must have your appetite back 
down from the cocaine.’ And she 
said, ‘I’m never down.’ She was high all 
the time.” 

The issue of drugs is a highly sensi- 
tive and rarely debated topic within the 
sex industry. While not encouraged, 
drug use is tolerated by some producers. 

“They say they don’t want to have 
the drugs on the set,” fumes one veteran 
porn director, “but then again, if 
they’ve got it booked, they look the 
other way, especially if it’s going to put 
dollars in their pockets. 

“The only common denominator I’ve 
seen from having three good friends 
commit suicide is drugs,” he adds. “In 
every instance, drugs were involved.” 

(continued on page 112) 


Photography by James Baes 


wa 


—— 
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cemetery beside the Azabu View Temple. 
The temple is in the upper-class area of 
Moto Azabu, in Tokyo’s western “high 
city,” as opposed to the eastern “low city,” 
from where most yakuza hail. 

Four women in formal black kimonos 
are standing around a big, iron cauldron, 
burning incense and gossiping. Maybe 
30 men, most in black suits and dark 
glasses, mill about greeting, bowing and 
joking. There’s not a lot of mourning 
going on. Even Cato’s stout, 34-year-old 
widow is giggling at the flirtatious 
asides whispered by the men; a young 
widow in a black kimono is a sexy cliche 
and considered open game. She is giddy 
with the attention and, perhaps, with 
the knowledge of what’s going on in 
the temple office. 

Bare, tubular fluorescent lights fill the 
spartan office with an unnatural glow. 
The shades are shut tight. Ito is sitting 
cross-legged on the tatami floor facing 
two trusted Kowa-kai underlings, who 
mechanically open the envelopes and 
remove the beige Y10,000 bills. Ito taps 
numbers into a calculator while an associ- 
ate double-checks the figures by nimbly 
clicking the beads on a wooden abacus. 
Though the cut with the widow is 50-50, 
Ito’s pile must be trimmed by ten percent 
for the temple monks and by another ten 


Ya kuza In a country with half the population of the United 


100,000 yakuza members, compared to an estimated 20,000 American mafiosi. 


as a “tribute” for the local yakuza boss. 
Back outside, the accounting done, 
Ito’s bodyguard, Toyama, hands a bulky 


(continued from page 76) : 
States, there are approximately 


Okawa-san, Kowa-kai’s 68-year-old “pres- 
ident,” he’s fine. 
Tanaka’s personal-profit scam had the 


envelope to the widow, bows curtly and | subtlety and wit of a hammer. Each 
walks down the driveway. Ito finishes his | morning during the 15-day, twice-a-year 


cigarette, lazily watching the smoke dis- 
sipate into the clear, blue sky and savor- 
ing the moment. 

“This is the way I like it,” Ito observes. 
“Simple, easy profit. It’s nice that keep- 
ing a boke [bum] like Cato on payroll 
finally paid some dividend.” Ito reminds 
himself that the same is true about that 
dope Tanaka, whose blood it was that 
ruined a pair of Ito’s socks as well as his 
weekend. 

* oa * 
Lowly yakuza soldiers such as Tanaka 
are not strictly supervised by the organi- 
zation. Indeed, they are encouraged to 
arrange freelance crimes away from the 
main Kowa-kai staples of property spec- 
ulation, construction and loan-sharking. 
The yakuza make it a conscious duty to 
keep small-timers like Tanaka occupied 
within their own worlds, thus preventing 
the evolution of lone-wolf criminals. At 
the same time, the idea is to keep a crook 
such as Tanaka away from the Kowa- 
kai’s sophisticated businesses, where his 
low IQ might muck things up. As long as 
Tanaka kicks a cut of his small deals to 


“Well, okay. But a double penetration will cost you 20 bucks extra.” 


102 


May 


HUSTLER 


Tokyo sumo tournaments, a few thou- 
sand upper-level seats are sold to those 
without old-boy ticket connections. The 
proletarian sumo freaks—white-haired 
grannies, blue-collar workers and stu- 
dents—begin lining up at the gate out- 
side the modern sumo stadium the night 
before the ticket window opens at 9 
a.m. At around 8:30 a.m. the next day, 
Tanaka, leading a posse of young yakuza- 
in-training called chimpira, or “little 
pricks,” crashes the front of the line. 
After fending off some pissed-off old 
ladies, Tanaka’s gang buys up all the 
cheap tickets and immediately goes and 


| scalps them to the latecomers at the end 


of the line. By Day 15 of the tournaments, 
Tanaka has usually earned Y 1,000,000 
($10,000). 

Within two or three days, Tanaka 
would normally drop off a 15 percent 
tribute at the Kowa-kai’s main office. 
But last week, he fucked up. Ito doesn’t 
know—and really doesn’t care—why 
Tanaka never showed. He just hates all 
of Tanaka’s bloody histrionics. 

“It would have been a lot more prof- 
itable,” Ito says, “if he had just jumped 
into the Sumida River.” 

of * * 
The Japanese characters for Kowa-kai 
have been elaborately engraved into a 
bronze plaque bolted on the unlocked 
front door of the organization’s head- 
quarters in Shinjuku, the most dynamic 
business and entertainment center of cen- 
tral Tokyo. Someone unable to read the 
name Kowa-kai might believe these to be 
the spacious, modern offices of a corpo- 
rate law firm. But any Japanese knows 
exactly what Kowa-kai really represents. 

Yakuza ventures generate an estimated 
combined income ranging from $8 bil- 
lion to $35 billion a year. In postwar 
Japan, the yakuza’s power has become so 
diversified, entrenched and omnipresent 
that the agenda of the “underground” 
yakuza is virtually indistinguishable 
from that of the national government. In 
a country with half the population of the 
United States, there are approximately 
100,000 yakuza members, compared to 
an estimated 20,000 American mafiosi. 

The yakuza subculture is one of the 
most compelling aspects of modern 
Japanese society. It is an amalgamation 
of traditional, feudal Japan and contem- 
porary worldliness. The elaborate body 

(continued on page 130) 


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BEAVER HUNT VIDEO CONTEST IS ON! 


HUSTLER sounded the call for women of every 
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video camera and show a nation what they're 
made of. America responded with a deluge of 
entries for the Beaver Hunt Video Contest. Now 
it’s your chance to take a shot at the $5,000 
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Beaver does best—whether it’s fucking, mastur- 
bating, being shaved, being sucked, or simply 
looking pretty. The only limits are your kinky 
imagination! All participants must fill out the 
Model Release Form on the next page (make pho- 
tocopies of the Form for friends if activities turn 
to group sex). Be sure to include photocopies of 
two forms of identification for everyone on cam- 
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finest ladies will be included in the upcoming 
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cameras roll—the video Hunt is on! 


(continued from page 94) 


Porn Su icides Megan once sent male porn star Jamie Gillis, with whom she 


had an aborted affair, a photo of a woman sawed in half and wrote a caption on the side: THIS SHOULD BE ME. 


Shauna Grant's retirement from porn 
did nothing to lessen her drug use. 
During the ten months that Shauna 
lived with Ehrlich, their house was the 
site of a nonstop party, and Shauna 
turned into a complete coke freak. On 
February 21, 1984, when Ehrlich was 
arrested for a probation violation on a 
previous drug charge, Shauna’s final 
march into oblivion began. 

Shauna was left responsible for run- 
ning a leather-goods shop that Ehrlich 
owned, according to Hollander, but 
instead kept it shuttered. In less than a 
month, she spent the last of his money 
on coke. With that gone, and in desper- 
ate need of cash, she accepted an offer to 
make a “comeback” film—something 
she had vowed she’d never do. Shooting 
was to start a week later, on March 22, 
1984. But according to former porn star- 
let Kelly Nichols, Shauna had no inten- 
tion of going through with it. 

“She asked me if I would work for 
her,” remembers Nichols. “You could 
kind of trade off with somebody else 
back then if you were the lead. I called 
her to tell her I could do it. She wasn’t 
home, but called me back the night she 


112 


killed herself—about an hour before— 
and said she was so happy I could work 
for her, because she didn’t want to do it.” 

Around the time of the movie offer, 
Ehrlich had called from jail and told 
Shauna to move out of the house—they 
were through. On March 21, Shauna 
began to pack with the help of a friend. 
Abruptly, she walked into the next 
room, lay down on the bed, took 
Ehrlich’s .22 rifle, propped it up against 
the right side of her skull and pulled the 
trigger. The bullet went clear through 
her head, coming out and crashing into 
the wall. She died on March 23, 1984. 
Two years to the month after Shauna 
Grant left Minnesota with stars in her 
eyes, she returned home in a box. 


MEGAN LEIGH 

Veteran smut star Porsche Lynn 
remembers her friend Megan Leigh as a 
“manic depressive” with “incredible 
highs, and then incredibly depressed, 
sleepy and introverted.” She also clear- 
ly recalls Megan’s suicide threats dur- 
ing those bouts of depression. “We 
thought she was just joking,” says 
Porsche. “She would make comments 


May HUSTLER 


like, “I should put you all out of your 
misery and just go shoot myself so you 
don’t have to bother with me.” 

Megan was apparently obsessed with 
violent sex crimes, collecting pictures 
of women who were chopped up and 
mutilated. “It was a very strange thing,” 
recalls Porsche. “She would make little 
jokes like, *This should be me; this 
could be me.’” According to Porsche, 
Megan once sent male porn star Jamie 
Gillis, with whom she had an aborted 
affair, a photo of a woman sawed in 
half and wrote a caption on the side: 
THIS SHOULD BE ME. 

Ne * * 

Megan Leigh apparently had a less than 
stable upbringing. Her parents were 
divorced when she was 4 or 5 years old. 
According to Patrick Riley, Megan, 
born Michelle Marie Schei on March 2 
1964, in Oakland, California, was a 
runaway at age 14. By the time she was 
17, Megan was working in a massage 
parlor in Guam. Moving back to San 
Francisco to work as a stripper for the 
notorious Mitchell Brothers, she began 
doing skin flicks in 1986. 


(continued on page 146) 


LPL EN Se SET 


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One of the prettiest ladies ever to hail'from Wichita, Reampas, 

pulchritudinous 19-year-old Madison is a model, and it s pe 
to see why. Those lips, those eyes, the fuzzy, pink ings 

focus between her thighs. A girl so sweet can forget to list her 


i body minds. Anyone care to fill in 
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Photo by Friend 


MODEL RELEASE / ENTRY FORM 


ee eee ee 


N= wT DO tAWS-S EE 


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There’s only one thing hotter than a sexy nurse in a crisp, white 


uniform: a naked Sexy nurse on her back with her 
panties hanging from her ankles. Dawn, a SS cieeey es 
from Waterford, Michigan, illustrates this point beautifully Her 
fantasy is to take a Caribbean cruise with all of her friends and 
have orgies with them every night. Nurse, it’s swelling and 
becoming engorged with blood again. 
Photo by Husband 


s 


NOTE: PRIZE MONEY SENT TO MODEL ONLY. 
BE LO W consideration of $250, | hereby give HUSTLER Magazine, its.affili- 


To enter HUSTLER Beaver Hunt or HUSTLER Video Beaver Hunt you must fil out and send this release and COPIES OF TWO FORMS OF 1D, ONE with 2@S: Successors and assigns, and those acting under its permission 

/ iterate : - , : or upon its authority, full worldwide rights and exclusive permission 
PHOTO (ie, driver's license, passport, work or school ID card or photo 1D issued by state). Second 1D can be birth certificate, Social Security card, credit. ;, perpetuity to copyright and/or publish any photographs or videos 
card, marriage certificate or immigration card. Send photocopies, not originals. Send two or more sharply focused color prints or slides, Send videotapes in of myself with or without my name and to make any changes or any 
the VHS format. Showing pink is optional at entry stage. All photos and videos become the unreturnable property of HUSTLER Magazine, which buys all rights additions whatsoever to such photographs, video footage, portraits or 
in perpetuity to photos and videos we purchase. If we publish your photo or choose your video, you'll win $250 and a chance to be chosen for an extended : 1 


pictorial or feature video worth $5,000. Send photos, videos, IDs and release to HUSTLER Beaver Hunt, 8484 Wilshire Blvd., Ste. 900, Beverly Hills, CA 90211. 


P LSE ALS. E PP Res Nes 


Model's name Hobbies 


Any alias, nickname, stage or pro name 
Name to be published 


Date of birth Phone (include area code) 


Model's Social Security number 
Address Photographer/Cameraperson 
City fi ; = State Zip Address 


Occupation 


any of the above information, whether true or fictional. | understand 
that editorial matter will accompany these photos, and that my video 
footage may be accompanied by commentary and can be distributed 
with other affiliated videos, and that my photographs or video image 
can be published in other HUSTLER affiliated magazines. | certify that 


| am of full age and am possessed of full legal capacity to execute the 
foregoing authorization. 


Sexual Fantasies (include separate sheet if necessary) 


WARNING: ANYONE SIGNING THIS RELEASE 
FORM OTHER THAN THE MODEL WILL BE 
SUBJECT TO MONETARY DAMAGES AND/OR 
CRIMINAL PROSECUTION. 


1 DECLARE UNDER PENALTY OF PERJURY 
THAT ALL OF THE INFORMATION | HAVE 
GIVEN ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT. 


tity State Zip Model's legal signature (use separate sheets for more than one model) 


Ay RELOAD 


rizona, is a question 


JERTAN RY LTRS 


cap rUrRSR REIMER mT EA 
Just how warm it gets in Bullhead, A 
for the weatherman. But for this 23-year-old housewife 


who answers to the name Katrina, it’s always hot enough 
for topless sunbathing. She fantasizes about having sex 
with more than one partner at once. How many? That all 


depends on just how hot she gets. 
Photo by Husband 


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place up nicely. All that’s needed is some wind to blow simple, or ig jj lean. is for her flint” _ hairdressing, ; 
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Xanna is a 29-year-old painter from Chicago, Illinois, 
who likes to travel, cook and watch American movies. 


She fantasizes about starring in a homemade XXX flick iMaaed 
filmed on a tropical beach. A winter locale might work TT 
also, since Xanna comes equipped with an extra chain for eo » ; 
traction in slippery places. Hf 1 i 
Photo by Husband B . 


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She’s mom to her twin boys, but to everyone else she? s 
Sarah, a 35-year-old housewife from Dickinson, Texas. Sex, 
a prerequisite for motherhood is, not surprisingly, at the 
top of her list of hobbies. She gets off on a titillating fantasy 
in which she hires an escort to screw her husband while she 
secretly joins in on the fun. What will Mom think of next? 
Photo by Husband 


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Harbor, New Jersey, She : 
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Photo by Husband 


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Seductive Celia, a 21-year-old dancer from 
Ontario, Canada, has so many sexual fantasies, ~ 
she could fill'a XXX book with them. Among 
them is her desire to lick the juiciest cunt she can ~ 
find while getting fucked from behind. With rings * 
(not shown) in her bellybutton and clit hood, she 
describes herself as ‘ta walking jewelry box.” 
Forget the rings, her box looks like a perfect * 
place to stuff the family jewels anytime. 


Photo by Friend 


ST cown, Pennsylvs ik to a brown-eyed 
Istown, Pennsylvania, 1S home 
esetd daa Aizlynn. This 36-year-old eee ward 
el. and is shown here mode ’ 
s a freelance model, and is s ’ 
hee of pants. Aizlynn isa people-oriented Laces ea eae 
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tattooing of yakuza members, which can 
completely cover the torso and thighs, is 
still common. The hari-maki, an old-fash- 
ioned money belt formed by wrapping a 
wide cloth strip around the midsection, is 
standard yakuza casual wear. Until a few 
years ago, carrying a pistol was a yakuza 
taboo—all fighting was to be settled by 
Samurai sword. Newer yakuza trade- 
marks, such as punched-permed hair and 
tinted glasses, have evolved to become 
part of the tradition. 

The yakuza members, who flaunt their 
criminal associations and machismo, 
fascinate the obsequious salarymen and 
super-nerd computer freaks of modern- 
day Japan. Their allure is further en- 
hanced by popular yakuza movies that 
paint them as heroic, dignified rebels in a 
nation of Westernized wimps. 

But heroic yakuza movies make Yasuo 
Ito laugh. Especially the manner in which 
the inevitable yubi i tsumeru—the finger- 
chopping scene—is sanitized. Ito has wit- 
nessed this act of atonement and fidelity 
four or five times. It’s always a mess. 

* * * 
Two weeks after Tanaka should have 
turned over his sumo tribute to Okawa- 
san, who was probably too busy to notice, 
a sub-boss’s “reminder” to Tanaka was 
ee garbled to imply that Okawa-san himself 


y— 
Ya kuza “An old-time yakuza was a gentleman,” 


common man, of which he is one. It’s part of the yakuza code, as well as good manners. 


had indeed been deeply insulted by 
Tanaka’s faux pas. Frenzied and flat- 
tered to think the exalted Okawa-san had 
mentioned his name, Tanaka requested a 
formal audience with the Kowa-kai 
chieftains. 

Considering Tanaka’s intelligence and 

circumstance, Ito figured finger-chop- 
ping was an even-money bet. He had 
hoped Tanaka’s cowardice would win 
out, but when the soldier showed at 
Okawa-san’s elegant office reeking of 
whiskey and wearing a blue kimono 
(instead of his trademark counterfeit 
Lacoste golfwear), there was no doubt 
about his intentions. Ito was very glad 
that the noncinematic precaution of call- 
ing a nearby hospital and ambulance had 
been taken. 
Besides attending disconcerting cere- 
monies of self-mutilation and making the 
rounds of yakuza funerals, Ito’s other 
responsibility is cruising out to Tokyo- 
area prisons to pick up released Kowa-kai 
members. It’s important for Ito to be the 
first face seen by a newly freed brother. 

While Toyama guides the Nissan 
President toward Fuchu Prison, Ito culls 
information and gives orders to yakuza 
all over the city. He instructs a Kowa-kai 
accountant to knock half a percent off the 


PORNO FOR THE DEAF 


130 


May HUSTLER 


(continued from page 102) 


says Ito wistfully. “He would never hurt the 


organization’s loan rates in response to 
similar moves by the national bank; he 
tips off a Kowa-kai-associated pachinko- 
parlor operator in south Tokyo about an 
upcoming police raid. And Ito’s next 
phone call goes something like this: 

“Sir, we're catching shit from a bunch 
of part-time workers over Koto ward,” 
says the husky but respectful voice 
bounced off an overburdened satellite 
above Tokyo. 

Ito says nothing. 

“They're saying we shortchanged the 
crew who worked on that Saitama shop- 
ping center,” complains the voice. “Now 
they’re bitching about working that 
sewer project in Mito.” 

“Did you short them?” Ito asks, look- 
ing at his Rolex. 

“Yes, sir. But it’s not like they had to 
do any real work—yet they never showed 
sober! It made us look bad.” 

“Pay them double the difference,” 
orders the boss, without reproach. 
“Apologize and beg them to work the 
sewer.” 

“Hai!” fires the voice as Ito clicks off. 

“An old-time yakuza was a gentle- 
man,” says Ito wistfully. “He would 
never hurt the common man, of which he 
is one. It’s part of the yakuza code, as 
well as good manners.” 

The sleek Nissan President is parked 
50 feet from the main doors of Fuchu 
Prison, through which Kenji Kawaguchi 
will emerge after a 14-month stint. 
Kawaguchi was sentenced for recruit- 
ing and paying a college computer whiz 
to hack into the mainframe of a major 
bank’s branch office. The kid had bare- 
ly begun the operation when he was 
seized with a Catholic-like urge to con- 
fess. He spilled it to the police, then 
went back to class while Kawaguchi 
was put away. 

“The youth today are so weak,” Ito 
concedes. “The boys act like women. 

“When I was inside,” he boasts, not 
specifying to which of his three jail terms 
he is referring, “I was given elite status. 
That meant good food, sake and women 
for me and the other real yakuza. The 
guards spoke to us in formal language, 
while the chimpira cleaned our cells and 
scrubbed our backs. It was a nice vaca- 
tion from real work.” Another smile. 

Click. Toyama opens Ito’s door, indi- 
cating that Kawaguchi is on his way. 
Upon reaching Ito, Kawaguchi drops his 
coat and duffel bag on the ground. He 
falls to his knees and executes a deep, 
formal bow with the élan of a geisha. 
The bluish edges of a chest tattoo flash 

(continued on page 146) 


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Porn Suicides 


(continued from page 112) 


Megan soon had a reputation as a 
full-time doper. Johnny Castano, who 
often shot Megan and describes their | 
relationship as “very close,” recalls, 
“She used to hang around my house in 
Van Nuys. She was always on down- 
ers. She was depressed and crying all 
the time.” 

“She had a problem with pills,” says 
director Paul Norman. “It wasn’t a 
recreational type of drug use that grew. 
It was a need to take drugs to escape 
whatever she was escaping. She 
couldn’t function a day without them.” 

But more problematic than her drug 
use was a festering, dysfunctional rela- 
tionship with her mother. 

Porsche Lynn believes that Megan 
had suffered physical abuse at her | 
mother’s hand as a child. “She would 
make little comments about her mother 
beating the shit out of her, or locking 
her in the closet,” says Porsche. 

The abuse continued into adulthood. 
Director Jim Holliday, who remembers 
Megan as “a precious little girl,” 
claims that there was nothing she could 
do to satisfy her mother. “Megan and 
Mommy fought before she got into the 
business, they fought when she was a | 
dancer, they fought before and after 
she started doing fuck films,” declares 


Holliday. “And Megan kept buying 
houses and shit for Mommy, and 
Mommy kept mentally and emotionally 
abusing the poor girl.” 

“She spent all of her money on 
building this house for her mother and 
making all the house payments,” 
relates Porsche Lynn. “She put a built- 
in swimming pool in the backyard that 
the mother insisted upon having. 
Megan’s boyfriend had had a fire at his 
store, and he was wiped out, and she 
wanted some money back from her 
mother—Megan had just given her 
mother $10,000 to $15,000 cash for the 
house. And her mother refused to give 
her the money.” 

A couple of days later, says Porsche, 
Megan and her mother got into a 
tremendous fight. That night, June 16, 
1990, with her mother in the house, 
Megan put the end of a .38 revolver in 
her mouth and pulled the trigger. 

“All her life, Megan made it a chal- 
lenge to herself that she would somehow 
gain her mother’s love,” says Porsche. 
“She finally realized that no matter what 
she did, her mother did not love her. The 
one thing that she wanted was love, and 
that was not going to be given.” 

Next issue: Savannah, Cal Jammer 
and Alex Jordan meet their bitter ends @ 


“Do you mind, Louise? This call is costing me $2 a minute!” 


146 


May HUSTLER 


Yakuza 


(continued from page 130) 


beneath Kawaguchi’s shirt. Seeing a 
yakuza tattoo in the flesh sends a shiver 
down the spine: Imagine the fear it 
strikes into the heart of a prim, legiti- 
mate Japanese businessman “offered” a 
deal with the yakuza. 

On the drive back to Tokyo, Kawa- 
guchi stares lovingly at every young 
woman driver as Ito briefs him on the 
latest Kowa-kai deals and personnel 
changes. By the time the car hits the ele- 
vated highways of central Tokyo, 
Kawaguchi has been assigned his new 
duties as a promoted Kowa-kai under- 
boss. He responds by reiterating his 
heartfelt loyalty to Ito and Kowa-kai. 

* a ok 

The drunken Tanaka had grunted a simi- 
lar oath before whipping the blade out of 
his kimono, It was a short, sharp cleaver, 
the kind a sushi chef might use to slice 
tuna or salmon. Tanaka laid the four-and- 
a-half fingers of his left hand flat on top 
of a pristine white-linen napkin. He 
wailed, bringing the blade firmly and 
expertly beneath the first joint of his ring 
finger, but then the movie ended as the 
reality of spurting, arching blood hit 
everyone—lIto, the two other bosses and 
Okawa-san—in the face. Tanaka screamed 
while maniacally rocking the blade to cut 
the last tendons. In the cinema, the act is 
clean, dignified and virtually bloodless, 
followed by the obligatory wrapping and 
presentation of the jettisoned finger to the 
boss. But Tanaka had to grope at his lost 
digit, and it was artlessly wrapped in a 
blood-saturated napkin. 

Ito doesn’t know why the Tanaka inci- 
dent has been distracting him. Violence 
is the yakuza’s stock-in-trade. 

“Violence can be constructive,” he 
says, lighting another Marlboro Light, 
“or it can be a waste of time.” 

a * * 

Tokyo is more impressive at night. 
Sophisticated neon billboards blaze 
through the darkness. The sidewalks are 
jammed with nicely dressed people who 
may hit a bar to loosen up before the 
inevitable train home. To Ito, the men 
and women on the central-Tokyo side- 
walks look wonderfully well fed, healthy 
and tall. Ito can’t forget the poverty of his 
provincial hometown, which, even now, 
has only a sniff of the fumes of Japan 
Inc.’s prosperity. When he was a kid, he 
was always hungry, and so were his 
friends. But they had spirit. 

As the car passes through a garish 
intersection where a giant video screen 
flashes highlights of recent European 
fashion shows, Ito orders Toyama to 
take him home. 


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20130- Dana - I'm 5’ 7" heavy set dark 
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| The Xandria Collection, Dept HU0596B 


Sexual 
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next month in © 


44 HUSTLER 


w » ¢ HEAT WAVES 

In June, summer kicks in with balmy days, steaming nights 
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LIGHT STORMS 

“Tt may be that we are about to witness the greatest hoax of 
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RESTING IN PEACE 

No one else will dare discuss the truth. In part two of Why 
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sex, drugs and shattered lives behind the glittering facade 
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The answers can be found only in HUSTLER this June. 


EXCURSIONS 

The growing number of American females rediscovering 
the joys of ready-to-wear bondage is reported by Don 
Vaughn in “Corset Fetish” for Sex Play in June; Bits & 
Pieces throws the book at Howard Stern; Erotic Entertain- 
ment presents the official tour guide to strokers’ paradise; 
and in Beaver Hunt, it’s open season on the girls next door. 


June HUSTLER on sale April 9, 1996 


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