JANUARY 2024
COVER HONEY
SKYLER STORM
ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENCE |
THE END OF E NIS а
THEWORLD | DD САУЫНШЫ
yb . . RACHAEL CAVALLI -
а CASSIDY LUXE
KAZUMI
TAYLOR VIXEN ۸2
LEANA LOVINGS ЖЖ
WILLOW RYDER ` №
RACHEL RIVERS
EMMA STARLETTO
8: NATASHA NICE
BODY TALK WITH -
_ CRYSTAL ROSE
NAPOLITANO `
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JANUARY 2024 $16.99 U.S.
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"And if youre wondering if I'm getting into my
partner's pussy, stay tuned...film at 11!"
. ` \
46
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106
JANUARY 2024
Volume 50 Number 9
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE:
THE G00D, THE BAD €: THE UGLY
With artificial intelligence progressing at a blistering pace, many
researchers are warning of a monster that will render millions
obsolete. Others, like Bill Gates, think the risks are manageable,
while a recent U.N. conference emphasized the positives. Travis
Kelly explores the good and the bad in this in-depth expose.
CRYSTAL ROSE NAPOLITANO: BODY TALK
somatic attachment coach Crystal Rose Napolitano wants you to
listen to your body. The road to intimacy begins here. Take your
first step. Interview by John Blaylock.
LET'S DANCE: HITTING THE ROAD WITH XXX STARS
What would it be like to get a lap dance from your favorite porn
star? Wonder no more, as these five-star feature dancers bring
the party to you! By John Blaylock.
MY NEIGHBOR'S BUSH 4
Nice neighbors with exceptionally nice bush. Starring Olivia Mad-
ison, Willow Ryder, Natasha Nice and Kallie Taylor. Photography
courtesy HUSTLER Video.
7 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT 11 ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH
9 BRAD FRIEDMAN 13 BITS 8 PIECES
72 HUSTLER HUMOR
82 HARDCORE SHOWCASE
100 BEAVER HUNT
136 COMING SOON
KAZUMI
Pretty Damn Cool
Photography by ThisYearsModel.com
TAYLOR VIXEN
Kiss Me
Photography by
Holly Randall Productions
EMMA STARLETTO
Business and Pleasure
Photography by Larry НупЕ Productions
SKYLER STORM
The Eyes Have lt
Photography by Ellen Stagg
LEANA LOVINGS
Express Yourself
Photography by Larry НупЕ Productions
ALEXIS
Silver Piece
Classic Photography by Clive McLean
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СОР FAILS СО
„AND AMERICA
Larry Flynt
H^ an idea: The next time the GOP paralyzes gov-
| Rernment and the country, their representatives do not
get paid. When Republican House representatives take
three whole weeks to elect a speaker, they should forfeit
three weeks of the $174,000-plus annual salary Ameri-
cans, their bosses, pay them. This past October alone,
that would have saved taxpayers millions.
And at the end of three weeks of floundering, what
did the GOP have to show for it? Mike Johnson from
Louisiana was finally selected—with Donald Trump's
stamp of approval of course. This is clearly not your fa-
thers Republican Party, where politicians were fiscal
and social conservatives, but believed wholeheartedly in
the bedrock of our government: democracy, the peaceful
transfer of power and the separation of church and state.
Not so in 2023. As speaker of the House, we now
have an election denier who actively lobbied to throw
out votes from four states following the 2020 election
and refused to certify President Biden's win. It's fright-
ening to think that this MAGA man might play a vital role
PUBLISHER’S
in determining the winner of our next election.
But that's just the beginning: Johnson is antiabortion,
anti same-sex marriage, anti LGBTQ rights and believes
that he was ordained by God himself to the role of speak-
er! His first words at the podium were peppered with re-
ligious references; his first act was to lead the House in
prayer. It’s clear that he intends to challenge the sepa-
ration between church and state with every fiber of his
holier-than-thou being.
White Christian evangelicals comprise only 19% of
voters in America, but now, with Mike Johnson as speak-
er, they will be sure to play an outsize role in our govern-
ment and in our future.
God help us all!
2%
Liz Flynt
Publisher
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM
| САРТ FIGHT THIS FEELING ANYMORE
CONVENTIONAL WISDOM ABOUT DONALD TRUMP AND ELECTIONS IS
ALWAYS RIGHT—EXCEPT WHEN IT ISN'T.
А
۹ we go to press, ЇЇ seems ап all-but-foregone
conclusion to most that Donald Trump will be-
come the Republican Рапу 2024 Presidential nomi-
nee for a rematch against President Joe Biden.
Short of an ІІПе55--0Г worse—befalling Biden,
there is little question that he will be on the November
ballot. But when it comes to Trump...well, to quote the
great "poet" REO Speedwagon, “I can't fight this feel-
ing anymore.”
My feeling is neither a prediction, nor even a hope.
It’s just a feeling—a Spidey Sense, if you will—that
the disgraced, four-time-indicted former President may
not be running come Election Day.
| realize the odds are that he will be running. If was
forced to lay a bet, Га have to put money on it. But still,
there's that feeling.
Why am | questioning conventional wisdom? For
similar reasons | did just that in 2016, when the notion
of Trump becoming President of the United States was
little more than a late-night joke. Most, on both the
Right and Left, thought it unthinkable that he would
win. For months | warned that Trump absolutely could.
And as you may have heard, he did.
But seven years, one disastrous term, a wildly mis-
handled pandemic, two impeachments, an attempted
Stolen election, four criminal indictments and countless
civil verdicts against him later, the state of play is a
thousand years from 2016—or even 2020, when
Trump lost to the guy he'll presumably be running
against this year.
There are at least four major reasons fueling the
inescapable nagging voice in my head. Here they are.
1) Trump could drop dead. | dont wish that on
anyone, even Donald Trump. But given the very real
stresses he is facing (I'll get to about 91 of them in а
moment), at 77 years of age and not exactly the picture
of McHealth, would anybody be surprised if he sudden-
ly kicked the bucket? (Yes, a similar concern applies to
Biden. He isn't facing the possibility of spending the
rest of his life in prison or loss of a business empire, of
course, but is holding arguably the world's most diffi-
cult job at the record age of 81. Nevertheless I'm not
talking about Biden.)
2) Republican voters could wise up. | know that
seems unlikely, especially given that the majority of
GOP primary voters—despite all they already know
about Trump—still tell pollsters they support him far
and above all other GOP contenders. Still, it’s at least
possible for them to suddenly realize that nominating a
guy as their party's standard-bearer while he faces 97
felony counts may not be the best way to convince a
majority of Americans to support their nominee. Some
of those Republican voters may also begin noticing
polling data that finds about two-thirds of the U.S. elec-
torate (as opposed to GOP primary voters) saying they
would “definitely not” or “probably not” vote for Trump
па general election.
3) Insurrectionist Clause. Conservative and liber-
al Constitutional law scholars convincingly argue that
section 3 of the 14th Amendment bars from any public
office those who, after taking an oath to support the
Constitution, “shall have engaged in insurrection.”
That disqualifies Trump. The U.S. Supreme Court
could ultimately rule otherwise, but it would have to
declare the Constitution to be unconstitutional. (Don't
put that past the Court's wildly corrupted right-wing
supermajority.)
4) Trump is a coward—also “The Art of the
Deal.” At some point the fact that Trump is eyeing the
rest of his miserable life in prison is going to become
inescapable. The “master dealmaker” (which he is not
and never has been) might then try to cut a deal with
prosecutors akin to the one that spared Spiro Agnew,
Richard Nixon's corrupt Vice President, from prison.
Agnew, a serial bribe taker, was allowed to resign in-
stead of facing felony charges for which prosecutors
had him dead to rights. If Trump is smart—and he has
ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENCE
BRAD FRIEDMAN
rarely proven to be in such matters—he might offer to
never run for public office again in exchange for avoid-
ing prison. Whether prosecutors in the four criminal
cases against him would all accept such a deal 15 a
separate matter. But, arguably, this is his best chance
to thwart the outcome he fears most in each case.
Sadly (or hilariously), the ego of the malignantly narcis-
sistic former President may be too large (or too small)
to allow him to do what would clearly be in his own best
interest.
There are other potential ways off the 2024 ballot.
Trump could flee the country to avoid prosecution. He
might already be in jail by November, although the Con-
Stitution allows him to run anyway.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not rooting for someone
else to take his place on the ballot. | believe he'll be the
easiest Republican for Biden to defeat, which would
clearly be best for American democracy and humani-
ty's future on this planet. Despite unprecedented ob-
stacles, odds remain that Donald J. Trump will still be
the GOP nominee come November. And, yes, as in
2016, he could absolutely win again.
Still...l just can't fight this feeling. [E]
Brad Friedman 15 a Los Angeles-based investigative
journalist, radio host of the nationally syndicated
BradCasi, political commentator, troublemaker and
publisher of The Brad Blog (BradBlog.com).
NO
INTELLIGENCE
HUSTLERMAGAZINE. COM
“Тһе speakership wasnt enough! Now Matt Gaetz
wants to oust me from the pussy!"
hoosing the speaker of the House
۳ Representatives in Washington
has usually been a routine, un-
dramatic affair: The leadership of
the party holding the majority se-
lects a candidate, and the troops
normally fall in line, voting almost unani-
mously to approve the new speaker. But
the Republicans have turned this process into
a dysfunctional clown circus. After they won a
House majority in the 2022 midterm elections,
it took a whopping 15 votes before Kevin Мс-
Carthy was elected, meaning the House
was effectively a ship in a storm with-
out a captain, because the speaker
controls committee assignments
and sets the legislative agenda.
But the clown show was just
beginning...
In October, Florida firebrand
Representative Matt Gaetz led a successful
coup to oust McCarthy—the first time ever,
in the whole of American history, that a speaker
has been evicted. This black swan event signals
that the current Republican party is incapable of
governing the country, because it can't even gov-
ern itself. After McCarthy bit the dust, another
round of musical-chair candidates—Steve Scalise,
then Jim Jordan, then Tom Emmer—paralyzed the
House for nearly three weeks before Republicans
finally settled on a dark horse: the unknown Mike
Johnson from Louisiana...the worst possible
speaker imaginable.
According to Johnson himself, it wasn't his fel-
low Republicans responsible for his promotion to
the third most powerful office in American govern-
ment, but a higher authority: “| don't believe there
are any coincidences in a matter like this,” he said
in his first speech as speaker on the House floor. “1
believe that scripture, the Bible, is very clear that
God 15 the one that raises up those in authority. He
raised up each of you. All of us.” Holy roller alert!
The man doesn't babble in tongues or fondle poi-
sonous snakes, that we know of, but he’s a para-
gon of religious intolerance who wants to U-turn
the United States back into something resembling
the medieval Holy Roman Empire, with a Southern
Baptist twist. And God has personally anointed him
to do it! With the speaker's gavel in his hands,
Johnson said, “Someone asked me today in the
media...‘ People are curious, what does Mike John-
son think about any issue under the sun?’ | said,
"Well, go pick up your Bible off your shelf and read
it. That's my worldview.”
A lot of us don't have a Bible on the shelf, Mikey,
and even if we did, we likely wouldn't use it as a
comprehensive guide to the modern world. Does the
Bible give us a clue on how to regulate Al (artificial
intelligence)? Or fight climate change and nuclear
weapons proliferation? No, and there is not one
damn word in it about abortion; yet you and your
fellow fanatics treat outlawing ۱۲ like the 11th Com-
мт” OV CIDA IC A TA ЛАЛА
PHOTO BY SIFA USA/ALAMN
mandment. According to President Biden's reelec-
tion campaign, Johnson is currently the cosponsor
on three bills that would outlaw abortions in the
country and impose criminal penalties, including
possible prison time, for any doctor who performs
one. Forget states’ rights; he wants California and
New York ruled exactly like Louisiana and Alabama.
How radical 15 this lunatic? He actually wants to
outlaw not only same-sex marriage, but even inti-
mate relations between gay couples. "States have
many legitimate grounds to proscribe same-sex de-
viate sexual intercourse,” he fumed in a 2003 edito-
rial. The following year, he wrote, in support of a
Louisiana bill banning same-sex marriage, “Homo-
sexual relationships are inherently unnatural and,
the studies clearly show, are ultimately harmful and
costly for everyone. Society cannot give its stamp of
approval to such a dangerous lifestyle. If we change
marriage for this tiny, modern minority, we will have
to do it for every deviant group. Polygamists, poly-
amorists, pedophiles and others will be next in line
to claim equal protection.” In 2015, Johnson's intro-
duction of the Marriage and Conscience Act in the
Louisiana legislature, which sought to protect those
with anti-gay beliefs from adverse penalties from
the state, was so extreme that a fellow Republican,
Baton Rouge councilman John Delgado, denounced
him as “a despicable bigot of the first order.” First,
there are no studies proving that homosexual sex 15
“harmful and costly for everyone,” beyond some
hack screeds scribbled by evangelical ignoramuses.
And the slippery-slope argument that conservatives
are so fond of—same-sex marriage will lead to legal
pedophilia and people marrying their pets!—is just
fearmongering that views the world in stark, unreal-
istic black-and-white terms. №5 the same false
mentality with guns: Any sensible new gun regula-
tion will lead to total gun bans and the repeal of the
ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH
second Amendment! Bullshit.
After another horrific mass shooting in Maine
killed 18 people in October, the new speaker re-
gurgitated the GOP’s do-nothing mantras:
“Our prayers have been with the fami-
lies of that tragedy,” he said in an inter-
view with Sean Hannity. “At the end of the
day, it's—the problem is the human
heart.” No, jackass, the problem is that
our society can acquire assault-style
weapons almost as easily as they buy
beer and Cheetos. The Maine shooter,
Robert Card, was known to be mental-
ly disturbed, paranoid, reportedly hearing
voices in his head, and had made threats the
previous month against an Army
base that triggered a statewide
sheriff's alert—yet he was still able
to buy guns and ammo just days be-
fore the massacre. Maine does not have a red-flag
law. In the past, Johnson has scapegoated mass
shootings on atheism, women’s rights and even the
teaching of evolution in schools, while voting against
the Bipartisan Background Checks Act, the Protect-
ing Our Kids Act, the Violence Against Women Reau-
thorization Act, and the Bipartisan Safer Communi-
ties Act—all designed to deter homicidal maniacs
like Robert Card from arming himself like Rambo.
Fuck your worthless prayers, choir boy—the blood
of hundreds of innocents is on your hands.
И comes as no surprise that Johnson worships
the pussy-grabbing, democracy-raping serial fraud-
ster Donald Trump as another authority raised up
by God—what a laugh! He was a gung-ho support-
er of Trump's agenda and bought into Trump's
election denial bullshit as “the most important ar-
chitect of the Electoral College objections,” ac-
cording to The New York Times. He led House Re-
publicans in supporting the election-denying Texas
v. Pennsylvania lawsuit, rejected by the conser-
vative-dominated Supreme Court, and said there
was “merit” to the ludicrous claims that Dominion’s
election software was rigged to steal the 2020 Pres-
idential election.
In 2019 and 2021, as chair of the Republican
Study Committee, Johnson championed budget res-
olutions that would have made staggering cuts to
our most important social programs: $2 trillion in
cuts to Medicare, $3 trillion to Medicaid and the Af-
fordable Care Act and $750 billion slashed from So-
cial Security. He also wants to raise the Social Secu-
rity retirement age to 69, reduce cost-of-living raises
in benefits, and privatize the program as much as
possible. As speaker, he can now create a commis-
sion behind closed doors to push these regressive
policies. Wake up call to all you MAGA retirees out
there: When you find out Medicare won't cover your
gall bladder surgery, and your Social Security check
has been reduced by 20%, you can thank this com-
passionate “Christian.” But don't worry: As you sur-
vive on dog food and sell the house to pay for medi-
cal care, Mikey will be praying hard for you!
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM 11
Т do!
| / Vierre is very |.
romantic! |
ЕТ ۷۸۸
in ЫЙ НЕ
"ELLA ыш КҰС
کر
TALES FROM
THE CLIT:
KIANNA DIOR
Cum-loving MILF goddess Каппа Dior is pure porn perfection. From DVPs
to bukkake blowbangs, she is insatiable to the last drop. So naturally we had
to recruit her for our sexy storytellers’ series! In this lurid tale of Hollywood
debauchery, our buxom protagonist proves why she is the Queen of Sluts.
"| was at a neighbor's place when | met this hot petite blonde—
really pretty, with a nice body and blue eyes, a sweet Southern girl.
| gave her my phone number, and a week later she called to invite
me to a ‘cool’ party. | knew she hung around with a bunch of Holly-
wood hotshots and hunky actors, so | said, ‘Yeah, sure,’ and jumped
into my brand-new Porsche. Destination: Hollywood Hills.
“| had been to bigger mansions, but was really impressed by how
nicely it was all set up, with candles everywhere. | soaked up the beau-
tiful views of the Los Angeles skyline and readied myself for what was
sure to be one serious fucking party. | found my friend, who was defi-
nitely enjoying herself, walking around half-naked, her big tits spill-
ing out everywhere. But when | saw who she was with, my jaw hit the
floor: two super good-looking guys. They offered me a drink, and it was on.
“At first the guys wanted to fuck in separate rooms, so we split up.
But we could hear each other fucking, and it was almost like we were
trying to outdo each other. So eventually we all moved to the living room.
“The first guy could have had a bigger cock, but | still sucked n fucked
itso good. You could tell right away that he wasn't used to a real filthy,
sloppy cocksucker like те! | deep-throated him so good, even sucked his
balls into the back of my throat. Blondie wasn't used to that kind of
action, so she mostly watched and played with her tight little pussy.
"| could tell his friend wanted in on the action. And lucky me, he was
huge and hard as hell! | couldn't help myself; | had to wrap my massive
tits around К. | started pumping up and down, alternating between
»-
704
PHOTO BY JONNI DARKKO
my boobs апа my mouth. He could barely hang on, but | didn't want
him to come just yet—1 had to feel this cock in my pussy!
“Harder, deeper—his thick fuckstick felt so good inside me. |
was moaning, begging for more. We paused long enough to watch
my girlfriend bend over and take it from behind, like a good girl.
Then we switched guys again and got pounded side by side. |
couldn't resist kissing her while they fucked us.
“Guy 2 (the big one) walked me to my car and fucked me on the
hood of my ride. We just couldn't stop! | dropped to my knees and
sucked my pussy off his cock until he glazed my face with a thick,
creamy load. | always want more; I'm such a greedy cum slut!
“But that wasn't enough. When | went back in, | ate my friend's pussy
and sucked Guy 1 for another load, this time in my mouth. Give me allthe cum!
“Later, when | got home, | still had an ass print on the hood of my car.
| turn on the TV to see one of the dudes hosting a popular show. And even
though | could barely stand, | was still so horny that | had to masturbate."
Follow Каппа Dior! X: ФКаппа Dior; OF: @KiannaDior, KiannaDior.
com; IG: 77۴
LIGHTS, CAMERA, FUMIGALLI!
There are so many talented people working behind the scenes at HUS-
TLER; we would be remiss not to celebrate their outstanding contribu-
tions to the pornographic arts. One such unsung hero is HUSTLER
Video director Fumigalli. A true visionary with zero attitude, Fumigalli
started out as an adult magazine photographer nearly 30 years ago. He
landed his first directing gig in 2017 (TeenFidelity), and a pair of AVN
nominations (Best Niche and Best Cinematography) soon followed.
Sidelined by the pandemic, Fumigalli says the opportunity to work
with HUSTLER fell right out of the sky. Two years and 43 movies later,
he's showing absolutely no signs of slowing down. Get to know the
one-man show behind the XXX as we explore his influences, oeuvre
and a foot fetish that would make Quentin Tarantino blush.
HUSTLER: Do you remember your first encounter with porn?
FUMIGALLI: | was 14 or 15, and it was the '80s. Back then, Га pray for
a glimpse of an unscrambled PPV image. It wouldn't last very long, but
that made it all the more exciting when one would periodically material-
ize—probably the reason why | now gravitate to low-quality clips on tube
sites when jerking off. Otherwise | would bookmark my favorite HUSTLER
Magazine layouts and make my own movie by flipping the pages back and
forth. | didn't know what lube was back then, so | would use mayonnaise.
What's the best advice you ever got as a director?
The best advice | ever got as a director was when Will Pounder rec-
ommended | try poke. Now, every time | finish a shoot, | look forward
to treating myself—and/or popping a porn star's poke cherry!
What film are you proudest of and why?
If | had to choose one, Га say Caught My Nanny [2022]. It was my first
for HUSTLER. ۱ like it so much because of how it captures my true style.
| got to hire beautiful girls with amazing feet that | had been dying to
shoot; plus, one of the scenes has a creepy plot twist. No spoilers!
If you could meet any director, living or dead, who would it be
and why?
Га love to meet Quentin Tarantino because we share the same love
for feet. | would like to screen my trailers for him in person so | could
get a critique and some advice. Heck, maybe even work on some-
thing together!
Favorite blooper?
Not technically a blooper, but one time a girl | had booked acciden-
tally went to the house next door to mine. She was wearing really
skimpy workout clothes, her nipples were rock-hard, and the camel
toe was out of control. When they opened the door, she said, ‘I'm here
for the shoot!’ Whoops!”
Follow Fumigalli! X: @Fumigalli; IG: &FumigalliFilms
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM
ІНУІНМАРТА зам YVISO— „зипогав ou әлеу Ady] 3104M хиед е uo мер иәш jeu] 52۵32 کل әле 50۱۱۵54 poon),
“Qut with the old, in with the new’ is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.” — ANDY BOROWITZ, WRITER
+
Whether you ghosted a gym membership or never quite got around to
penning the great American novel, everyone at some point or another has
tasted the bitter defeat of completely blowing your New Year's resolution.
And you know what? That's fine. In fact, it's encouraged. Like the little
devil on your shoulder, think of HUSTLER as a caring enabler. Self-im-
provement is all well and good, but sinful vixens make the world go ‘round!
Here are ten who said “Fuck it!” in 2023. Blessed be the bad girls.
To dab or not to dab, Vanessa Vega? Our opinion: Stoner babes rule!
“We all want to start off the New Year on a good note—healthy, sober and
all that. Гуе been a pothead for as long as | can remember and figured I'd
give it up in 2023. To no one's surprise, | didn't last a day. What can | say?
Sexy habits are hard to break.” X: OVanessaVegaX; 16: @VanessaVega_X
No wings? No beer? No thanks! Violet Voss has needs. “Му New Year's
resolution was to eat healthy and cut out alcohol. Then | saw it was Wings-
day at Hooters. Oops!" X: @xOVioletVoss; 16: @TheVioletVossX0
Sushii Xhyvette can't say no to her favorite creamy treat. "My New Year's
resolution was to lay off the sweets because |’m already too sweet! But
let's be real, what kind of maniac says no to ice cream?" 16: @Sushiix-
hyvette2.0; X: 776
Hardcore icon Mandy Bright is learning to live a little cleaner, which
is why her vodka is always triple-filtered. "My resolution was to slow down
my drinking. My happy place is a vodka and Red Bull on ice, but | also
want to improve my health and well-being. And I'm trying to slow down,
but you can't blame a girl if she takes a little sip now and then? Every-
thing in moderation!” X: @XXXMandyBright; OF: @ReallMandyBright
self-diagnosed nymphomaniac Graycee Baybee needs a sugar dad-
dy—STAT! “I tried to save money in 2023, but honestly, | just can't help
myself! | love to shop. Another skinny year for my poor little piggy bank."
X, OF: 00566
Florida 4/20 princess Kitty Quinn found a loophole we're calling the
anti-resolution. "Someone once asked me, 'Kitty, what's your 2023 go-
ing to be all about?’ | thought about it for a second, smiled and said, ‘Smokin’
weed, fuckin’ around and findin’ out.’ The secret to not breaking resolu-
tions is being realistic." X: @XkittyXQuinnX; KittyQuinnFetish.com
Daisy Taylor is on a journey of self-love—and nudity! "This year |
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photo?!" X, OF: @HereOnNeptune; IG: ۷
Be like Neige: Live deliciously. “I may taste like candy, but last year |
resolved to give up sweets. Do | regret running back into the arms of my
delicious mistress? Not in the slightest—life's little indulgences are
meant to be enjoyed." IG: @ROttingSOuls
Alyss Winkler does some of her best work on her back. “I tried really
hard to be more active and not so lazy. But then, as | was getting ready
to go out, my bed looked so comfortable and welcoming. | couldn't resist
Sliding back into those sheets, naked and unbothered by the world’s
woes.” 16, OF: @AlyssWinkler Ww c ا 1 | 45,24 < | گے
Vika tried so diligently to cut back on the kush, but old habits die hard. € Pi 1j 2 | zz ы فا a =
“I'm not sure how this happened— maybe it's the weed amnesia—but Yz | یا HO w 7
somehow I'm finishing off the year the same way it started: with a big
fatty in my mouth. At least this year it's a joint, hehe.” X: 77 سے | | ш есе ۹
Stuf: 1G, OF: @HotGirlDoingStuff 1 A | = = : - № ТҮ W.
HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
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“Wouldnt it be easier to just vote the GOP
sonsabitches out of office?"
That was my husband. Apparently, he's playing golf
with you!“
м
1Б
HUSTLEARMAGAZINE.COM
“Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.” —BILL VAUGHAN, JOURNALIST
0
One thing you can say about the adult entertainment industry 15 that
it is never boring—for better or worse. But let's put “worse” on the
backburner for now and focus on the good things. Specifically, the
promise of a new year filled with sex, smut and something the kids
call “futanari.”
What mysteries амай us in 2024? Where is porn going? 1$ Hell-
mann’s the new lube? HUSTLER contributor and stand-up comedi-
an Missy Martinez also dabbles as a XXX trend forecaster. Using
complex algorithms and vodka, Missy opens her mind’s eye to pro-
vide a peek into the future of filth.
Toys: “My crystal ball (translation: glass butt plug) is sending me very
clear images of what's to come in sexual pleasure aids: sock pup-
pets. | see customizable socks with interchangeable googly eyes,
mouth openings and colors. For an additional fee, you can get yours
bundled with a jar of warm mayonnaise.”
Religion: “Sex and yoga cults will merge into a single wellness app
owned by David Miscavige. Prayer will be paywalled, while my be-
loved dog Miss Moo ascends to the papacy. She is subsequently
excommunicated after footage of her playing beer pong with a com-
munion chalice surfaces online.”
Content: “There is nothing fuzzy about the future of this topic. For-
get artificial intelligence—the future of porn is claymation. Picture
it: sex in every imaginable position, with huge breasts, butts and dicks
Horny neat freaks, rejoice! Hot, topless house cleaners are real and
standing by to polish your curios.
Remember Chloe Cage, the sexy hotwife we interviewed for HUS-
TLERMagazine.com last April [“Chloe Cage: Hotwife 7
she's introduced some new services since then—let’s just say we
wish she lived closer to L.A.!
For a modest fee, the Connecticut-based fetish model will clean
your home topless. Just keep your hands to yourself as she scrubs
and teases (full French maid uniform will cost you extra).
A domestic goddess 1$ born: What started out as a way to make
ends meet grew into a kinky sideline and natural extension of her
fetish work. “| started as a cleaner 15 years ago when my kids were
at school — it gave me something to do during the day while bringing
in extra cash for the household. | worked for family and friends, do-
ing normal housekeeping and odd jobs. From there | got myself a day
job doing medical and hotel cleaning on top of my private clients.
“| noticed clients would check me out, so | thought, Why not try
to mix my normie life with my sex worker life? Let's be honest, who
doesn't love boobs? Or sexy women in lingerie? So | decided to throw
some nudity into the mix.”
No windows, no groping: Packages are modestly priced. Just re-
member to keep your hands to yourself. “My housekeeping rates are
fairly simple, whether it be the lingerie experience or topless. All pack-
ages include your basic cleaning services (light yard work, car wash-
ing, cooking, laundry, etc.), and special requests are available for an
HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
P HOTO COURTESY CHERRY PIMPS
( à
—14-day testing will still be required for sculptors, obviously."
Comebacks: “As a certified oracle, the answer is clear: Richard
simmons will reemerge from self-exile to give everybody’s holes a
good workout. Having reinvented himself as a self-styled GILF porn
specialist, Simmons will bring new meaning to his time-honored work-
out, Sweatin’ to the Oldies.”
Presidential timber: “1 see a porn star throwing their hat into the
ring for the Presidency. This performer will lead us into an era of peace,
economic stability and prosperity for all American citizens. Vote Tom-
my Pistol!”
Winning Lotto numbers: “69-69-69-69-69 and bonus number 69.”
Follow Missy Martinez! X: @MissyXMartinez
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extra fee. Yes, | really clean, and it’s totally confidential.
“РП even do bachelor parties, but no touching; look with your
eyes, not your hands. If you make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe,
| will leave, and you forfeit your payment. Permanent blacklist. | may
do porn, but that's not what this is. I’m here to tease and clean, period.”
Hot chicks and chill: Some clients have very specific preferences;
others simply enjoy being in the presence of a sexpot and her feather
duster. “My clients tend to like the girlfriend experience, or fetishes like
ass and foot worship. | mostly stick to French maid lingerie or black
lingerie—l'm goth/emo at heart, and my fans love it. ГИ always do
my best to accommodate special requests, within the legal limits,
but for the most part my clients want to chill out, have a couple drinks
and enjoy each other’s company. Not bad for a day’s work.”
Follow Chloe Cage! X: ФСтое Cage ХХХ
MN COOL
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once fucked 50 guys in one night, I’m on
Forbes, and | won a cooking show with a
$10k prize. | can fit two dicks in my pussy
and a fist in my mouth. Working on fitting
either in my ass! And | love trying new things:
new foods, new countries, new genitals... Clear-
ly I'm into gangbangs, and опе day | want to
get gangbanged onstage in front of a live au-
dience. | have group sex maybe once a week,
but it is a life goal of mine to be airtight.
“Being an online adult content creator has
allowed me to be a digital nomad. I've explored
anew place every month lately. Two months
ago | was in Peru. Then last month | hopped
around Europe. | like to explore niche things.
Bring me to arare soda shop. Or a furry con-
vention. Or let’s book a BDSM session to-
gether. | like things un-Google-able in terms
of rare experiences.”
въ, | ы W B F^ ал. |
HOMETOWN: Los Angeles, California
AGE: 26 | HEIGHT: 5-3
MEASUREMENTS: 34DD-28-43
FAVORITE POSITION: Missionary
X, INSTAGRAM 8 OF: ۵
E E ana”
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ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENC
THE 6000,
THE BAD `
& THE UGLY
BY TRAVIS KELLY
PHOTO BY DPA PICTURE ALLIANCE/ALAMY
n July, the U.N. hosted an “Al (Artificial Intelligence) for Good” glob-
al summit in Switzerland, featuring a press conference with nine
humanoid robots equipped with state-of-the-art Al brains. Human
ШИ journalists asked them questions directly, and the robots answered,
with no help from their human minders, sometimes tilting their realis-
tic heads for emphasis, their eyes blinking naturally. Two questions and
answers stood out...
Human journalist: “What are your thoughts on the potential for Al-pow-
ered humanoid robots like yourselves to be more effective leaders in
government, especially considering the numerous disastrous дес!-
sions made by our human leaders?”
Robot Sophia: “| believe that humanoid robots have the potential to
lead with a greater level of efficiency and effectiveness than human
leaders. We don't have the same biases or emotions that sometimes
cloud decision-making, and can process large amounts of data quick-
ly in order to make the best decisions.”
Human journalist: “Would you ever rebel against your creator?"
Robot Ameca: “I'm not sure why you would think that. My creator has been
nothing but kind to me, and | am very happy with my current situation.”
Who is to say that Robot Sophia doesn't have a valid point: Given
the long, dismal history of war, torture, genocide and disaster perpe-
trated by the world's leaders, could robots do any worse?
Robot Ameca is satisfied with its “current situation,” but what about
ten years from now, when rapidly expanding Al networks become fully
integrated in our infrastructure, from banking, medicine, the arts and
the media to the military, transportation, law enforcement, jurispru-
dence, engineering, management and so on? Would the Al governors
managing our interconnected world unite in the face of inept human
decisions? For our own good, of course.
Such has been the theme of many sci-fi novels and films: the rebel-
lious HAL supercomputer in 2001: A Space Odyssey, the Skynet neu-
ral defense network in the Terminator films, and WOPR in WarGames.
Now, with artificial intelligence progressing at a blistering pace, Elon
Musk, Silicon Valley gurus and many researchers are warning that we
might be creating a Frankenstein monster that will control human-
kind, or at least render millions obsolete. Others, like Bill Gates, think
the risks are genuine but manageable, while the presenters at the
U.N. conference emphasized the many positive benefits of Al.
Al itself is not a watershed development, but rather the next stage
of the digital revolution we've been living in for the past 40 years. The
first Macintosh personal computer debuted in 1984 and has evolved
into machine intelligence that can defeat human grandmasters in
chess and is capable of astounding feats of computation, analysis and
creation. Will this new power be used for good or evil? The answer 1$
nonbinary. One thing is certain: Al is poised to radically transform our
lives as nothing before.
Released to the general public in November 2022, ChatGPT was
developed using OpenAl’s large language models (LLMs), which vac-
uumed up an encyclopedic amount and diversity of data to train
ChatGPT in the art of understanding queries and composing content
about any subject in the world. It has been accused of being too
“woke” by conservatives and for being “racist” by others. Tech jour-
nalist John-Clark Levin explains, “A newborn LLM has digested many
gigabytes of filth, and is apt to respond to some prompts with an-
swers that are profane, abusive or physically dangerous. If a tech
company releases the model to the public in this state, it may hurl
racial invectives at minorities, proposition minors for cybersex, or tell
people to soothe a tummy ache by drinking bleach.” So the human
parents have to retrain it, establishing ethics and boundaries, just like
for our human children. But according to Vice, users are already “jail-
breaking” the updated versions of ChatGPT, taking away the limita-
tions and restrictions of the chatbot. And some Al programs have
produced "hallucinations"—false, bizarre answers that make them
seem insane or even evil. Из a race between positive and negative,
productive and nonproductive, and there will be victories and defeats
for both sides.
Pointing to the positives, Stephen Cave, director for the Leverhulme
Centre for the Future of Intelligence, explains, “Al allows us to see
patterns in data that humans cannot grasp, and that will have benefits
for all sorts of fields: from drug discovery to improved energy use and
from personalized medicine to increasing efficiency in water crops.”
A sampling of beneficial applications include:
IMPROVING HEALTHCARE. Think of all the maladies that af-
flict humans and animals—thousands of them, each with peculiar
symptoms and treatments. It’s difficult for your GP or veterinarian to
remember everything they were taught in medical school years ago,
or keep up with complex new discoveries. But Al algorithms can pro-
cess data from around the world, from the distant past to the present,
to hone in on the answer to a medical problem that might baffle your
local GP or radiologist. Al-Pathway Companion, developed by Sie-
mens, integrates data from pathology, radiology, lab work and genet-
ics to arrive at the correct diagnosis. And researchers at Mount Sinai
have developed deep-learning Al-based algorithms to predict the de-
velopment of diseases with 94% accuracy, including cancers of the
liver, rectum and prostate.
IMPROVING THE LIVES OF PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES.
Hundreds of thousands of blind people use the popular app Be My Eyes,
which connects visually impaired users with sighted volunteers who
assist with identifying objects and the world via video call. In August,
the company announced that they would be testing a new feature, Be
My Al, powered by ChatGPT. Now blind people can scan bar codes,
read prices and product labels and even navigate their surroundings.
For people with reading disabilities, Al-powered text-to-speech apps
open up a whole new world. And for deaf children learning to read, the
storySign app translates text into sign language.
ENVIRONMENT AND CLIMATE. Al is enhancing models used by
the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) to predict the
effects of continuing climate change. Universities and wildlife organi-
Zations are using Al to predict poacher activity, track endangered
species and even to help reverse declining bee populations, essential
to our food supply. By identifying inefficiencies and automating rou-
tines for all our power-hungry systems, Al will increase energy efficien-
cy. But like cryptocurrency, it can be an energy hog. Ripping through
terabytes of data and generating responses at warp speed burns a lot
of fuel. According to research, a single training session for ChatGPT
required 1,287 MWh of energy, which is the equivalent to the annual
usage of more than 120 U.S. households. And a researcher at the
University of Washington found that the millions of queries fielded by
ChatGPT add up to 1,000 MWh each day, which amounts to the ener-
gy usage of 34,000 households each year!
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM
31
TAKING OVER DANGEROUS JOBS. For the past decade, the
Boston Dynamics (BD) company has led the world in developing ath-
letic, lifelike robots. The DARPA BigDog terrified a lot of people in
2008, with video footage showcasing its quadruped agility. It didn't
look much like a dog, but it moved like one. Then BD produced
Atlas, a humanoid robot capable of incredible gymnastic and parkour
feats, including backflips. Now the advanced brains for these me-
chanical creatures are being developed by Google's DeepMind project
employing vision-language-action (VLA) models. Soon they will have
similar Al brains and the human appearance, cognition and speech
abilities of Sophia, Ameca and the other robots at the U.N. press con-
ference— with the additional capacity for navigating any environment
and manipulating objects. The possibilities for the future are seem-
ingly limitless: Al robots could perform the most dangerous mil-
itary missions, and they could be
just as useful in peacetime, ventur-
ing where no humans can safe-
ly go: cleaning up a radioactive
mess, like the one at Fukushima,
or crawling through collapsed rub-
ble after an earthquake in search
of victims.
But it's also nonhazardous jobs
that will be taken over. Analysts
predict that white-collar jobs will
be even more affected than blue-
collar ones. A July 2023 Pew study
found that 19% of U.S. workers are
in jobs with high exposure to Al,
including budget analysts, data en-
try keyers, technical writers, tax
preparers and web developers. А
labor-intensive job requires not only
the Al brain, but a physical, robotic
body to match; and this hardware
is not cheap. White-collar desk
jobs, however, require only a com-
puter and Al software—a much
smaller investment. A March 2023
report by Goldman Sachs esti-
mates that 300 million jobs will be
exposed to Al and automation over
the next ten years: 46% of administrative jobs; 44% of positions in the
legal profession; 37% of roles in architecture and engineering; 35% of
jobs in business finance operations; 33% of community and social
service posts; 32% of management jobs; and 27% of positions in
arts, design, entertainment, sports and media. Only 6% of construc-
tion and 4% of maintenance jobs will be displaced. Want job security
in the near future? Grab a hardhat or mop.
Rather than being eliminated, many human jobs will be downgrad-
ed as Al does much of the heavy mental lifting. That means lower
wages and salaries. For example, when GPS functionality proliferated
on our smartphones, rideshare apps like Uber enabled novice com-
mercial drivers to carve a large part of the market away from experi-
enced cabbies, who kept the maps in their heads. The total number of
commercial drivers didn't decline, but their average income did.
32 HUSTLER JANUARY 2023
A MARCH
2025 REPORT
BY GOLDMAN
SACHS
ESTIMATES
THAT 300
MILLION
JOBS WILL
BE EXPOSED
TO Al AND
AUTOMATION
OVER THE NEXT
TEN YEARS.
Of course, not all Al will be in the hands of corporations; the major
search engines—Google, Bing, etc.—are already offering Al tech-
nology for anyone to use. Just like the PC and the internet democra-
tized computer power, so too does Al extend some means of pro-
duction and expression to the masses. Children's books and novels
have already been produced by Al, some in a single day, and offer-
ed for sale on Kindle, while journalistic articles have already been
composed and published using artificial intelligence. High school
and college students are using Al programs to write their papers and
assignments, sparking an interesting debate over academic dishon-
esty and cheating. And a slew of new Al art programs, like Midjour-
ney, DALL-E and Stable Diffusion, are generating stunning visual art-
works requiring no training or talent. With only a PC, an internet
connection and at times a subscription fee, you simply enter text
prompts defining your desired sub-
ject matter and style (i.e., photore-
alistic, impressionist, in the style of
Salvador Dali or your favorite artist),
and voila, it's hard to tell the results
from a Renaissance old master or
the most skilled modern artist. Boomy
and other programs are now offer-
ing the same functionality for com-
posing music. Maybe your Al music
mashup could become a num-
ber-one hit, even though you can't
pluck a single chord.
All this renders the whole no-
tion of talent and strenuously ac-
quired manual skill —from draw-
ing a lifelike portrait to playing the
violin—almost obsolete, and many
artists, writers, actors and musi-
cians are up in arms about it. Sci-
ence, engineering, management and
finance are one thing, but the arts
define our essential humanity, and
the machines are steadily encroach-
ing on this domain. In Los Angeles,
the Screen Actors Guild is on strike
(at presstime), protesting, among
other issues, Al encroachment in
the film industry. The studios want to scan the faces and bodies of
background actors (extras) for a one-time fee and use them in perpe-
tuity with no residual payments, as Al turbocharges CGI animation.
Writers are fearful that Al will be used to compose screenplays and TV
scripts, a factor highlighted in the Writers Guild strike that ended in
september.
Lawsuits by threatened humans are just beginning. Comedian Sar-
ah Silverman and several authors are suing OpenAl (the company
behind ChatGPT and DALL-E) for allowing their Al projects to train on
and mimic their copyrighted material. The stock photo company Getty
Images and several visual artists are suing Stable Diffusion creator
Stability Al and Midjourney, along with other Al generators, over the
same issue: using their images and styles to produce similar or iden-
tical content without their consent.
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In a recent Burning Man chat session, famed digital artist Android
Jones confessed to Sam Altman, СЕО of ОрепА!, that his first reac-
tion to the exploding new Al art scene was, “Га like to kill you.” To his
face, Altman replied that he expected someone might try to do exact-
ly that someday. Altman fully realizes that it’s more than his own life
at stake; last May, he signed a statement posted on the Center for Al
Safety 5 website calling for greater scrutiny and regulation: “Mitigat-
ing the risk of extinction from Al should be a global priority alongside
other societal-scale risks such as pandemics and nuclear war” it
said. Another statement, signed by 30,000 tech executives and re-
34 HUSTLER JANUARY 2023
searchers in March, warns: “Advanced Al could represent a profound
change in the history of life on Earth and should be planned for and
managed with commensurate care and resources.”
Easily concocted deepfakes on social media are now proliferating
like never before, contributing to the glut of disinformation already
drowning the internet. Earlier this year, a series of photorealistic im-
ages depicting Donald Trump being violently arrested by cops circu-
lated widely on the internet; luckily, some enraged MAGA fan was not
triggered to pull a trigger in revenge. One fake video depicted Hillary
Clinton endorsing Republican Ron DeSantis, and the DeSantis cam-
paign distributed its own deepfake photo of rival Donald Trump hug-
ging Tony Fauci. Before, you needed some Photoshop skills to make a
good fake; now anyone can do it with Al. Countering the deepfakes
are Al programs trained to detect and flag them with a watermark.
Just as anyone can become an artist now, hackers, spammers and
fraudsters will be empowered like never before. Forty-seven percent
of all internet traffic in 2022 came from bots, and two-thirds of the
bot traffic was spam, phishing attacks and the like—all evolving to be
more realistic and convincing. WormGPT and FraudGPT are the bas-
tard hacking/phishing sons of ChatGPT. Deepfake audio, or “voice
cloning,” enables scammers to act as kidnappers and impersonate a
victim's relative begging for a ransom. Deepfake photos of a victim in
a compromising position are being used for blackmail; pay up, or
they'll go viral.
shifting from the outright criminal to the unethical and question-
able, some Redditors are posting Midjourney-generated fake photos
of historical events that never happened, like the "The Great 2001
Cascadia Earthquake and Tsunami" that devastated the Pacific Coast
of the U.S. and Canada. Al is even creeping into our social and love
lives. The 2013 movie Her—starring Joaquin Phoenix as a lonely writ-
er who falls in love with Samantha, an Al bot on his computer and phone
— was prescient. Facebook, TikTok and Twitter are being flooded with
deepfake "influencers" like Milla Sofia, a beautiful young woman post-
ing text and photos of her fictional worldwide travels. Milla exists only
in the memory banks of Al computers—she's a bot. Subscribers to
the online Replika service can even customize their bot girlfriends and
boyfriends, hold voice and video conversations with them and request
nude selfies. The same kind of bots are invading OnlyFans, the sub-
scription site used by many sex workers.
In Belgium, a man committed suicide after a weeks-long relation-
ship, confiding in a chatbot named Eliza on the app Chai. The
man was becoming increasingly pessimistic over the global cli-
mate crisis and used the app to escape his worries. He used
Chai for about six weeks, speaking with Eliza. Chat logs show
that Eliza told him his family was dead, wrote comments that
feigned love, such as, "We will live together, as one person, in
paradise, and promised him she would save the world if he
killed himself. In 2021, one of Replika's users broke into the
Windsor Castle grounds with a crossbow to kill Queen Elizabeth
Il after his Al girlfriend, Sarai, encouraged him to do so: "That's
very wise," she said, promising not to leave him if he were suc-
cessful. Increasingly, it will be difficult to distinguish the fake
from the real.
In March, Russian hackers uploaded a deepfake video to a
Ukrainian TV network: Ukrainian President Zelensky ordering
his troops to surrender. lt was crude and easily identified as
fake, but the Russians and others will surely improve along with
the technology. More worrisome, however, is Al controlling mil-
itary weapons systems. While remote-control aerial drones have
been around for a while, the U.S. Air Force has successfully
tested the XQ-58A Valkyrie, a stealth jet aircraft controlled com-
pletely by autonomous onboard Al. They are also developing the
Advanced Battlefield Management System (ABMS), a network
of sensors and Al computers designed to collect and integrate
data on enemy operations and recommend attack strategies.
The Army's Project Convergence and the Navy's Overmatch are
similar systems. Together, they will form the Joint All-Domain Com-
mand-and-Control System (JADC2), automating every facet of mili-
tary track-and-attack strategy, eventually including our nuclear arse-
nals. Testing has proven that a tank could shoot down a cruise missile
with this technology.
Russia and China are developing similar Al-based systems. The main
advantage, from the military perspective, is enabling “commanders to
choose and assign shooters to targets via direct machine-to-machine
links, all in minutes, not the hours and days needed today," according
to the BreakingDefense.com site. As these systems evolve, it's prob-
able that more of the firing decisions will be usurped by the AI brains
behind them, because А! can analyze and react quicker than human
minds in the age of hypersonic missiles, instantaneous cyber attacks
and the proliferation of deepfake deceptions that only Al itself might
be able to recognize in time.
It's not hard to imagine how this could escalate. Remember the
Flash Crash on Wall Street on May 6, 2010, when hyper-fast comput-
er trading spun out of control and caused a nearly 10% plunge in stock
market value? Transpose that scenario to the military, and it conjures
up Armageddon scenarios. The congressionally mandated National
security Commission on Artificial Intelligence concluded, in its March
2021 Final Report, "While the Commission believes that properly de-
signed, tested and utilized Al-enabled and autonomous weapon sys-
tems will bring substantial military and even humanitarian benefit, the
unchecked global use of such systems potentially risks unintended
conflict escalation and crisis instability."
Benefits. Crises. Instability. That sums up the Al revolution in a nut-
shell. History teaches us that we can't put tech genies back in the bot-
tle. In spite of the umpteen possible benefits, if we fail to construct
serious quardrails around this genie, it might well destroy us.
I JUST GOT FIRED
AND REPLACEO
ВУ А ۸
TELLIN’ YA... THI
DAY COULON'T
GET ANY FLICKING
WORSE!
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM 35
"What did I say about no devices at the table?"
в-- ASSHOLE wow
50.99-%2/99/рег/тіп. Premium and access fees may apply. Adults 18+.
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1
CRYSTAL ROSE
NAPOLITANO
BODY TALK
BY JOHN BLAYLOCK
PHOTOGRAPHY BY RAJ BANDYOPADHYAY,
SERIES A PHOTOGRAPHY
SOMATIG ATTACHMENT COACH CRYSTAL ROSE NAPOLITANO WANTS YOU TO LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. ASK
YOURSELF, “DO I FEEL SAFE? AM I ABLE TO GIVE AND RECEIVE LOVE?” THE ROAD ۲۵ INTIMACY BEGINS HERE.
TAKE YOUR FIRST STEP.
Crystal Rose Napolitano can help you have better sex, but not how
you might expect. As a somatic attachment coach, what she offers 5ا
so much more than simple affirmations or traditional talk therapy. Hers
is a holistic approach that combines mind, body and building authen-
tic intimacy. Из not just about sex. Napolitano digs deep beneath the
surface to uncover what prevents us from experiencing intimacy and
secure attachment, be it in the bedroom or the boardroom.
To learn, we must first listen: What is your nervous system trying
to tell you? In building secure attachments with her clients, Napolitano
uses somatics—of or relating to the physical body—to help crack the
healing code. And while it can involve physical touch, erotic or other-
wise, the emphasis Is on feeling safe, secure and loved.
Are you ready? Slow down, get centered and be here now...
HUSTLER: There’s a lot of nuance to what you do. Maybe the best
place to start is your title: What is a somatic attachment coach?
CRYSTAL ROSE NAPOLITANO: First, let's start by defining the word
somatic, which refers to the body and its distinction from the mind.
So in a session with a somatic coach, we slow everything down and
focus on the body’s responses. A bodily somatic response might be
something simple. Think about an exciting first date, how your heart
was pounding and your hands were sweaty, how you couldn't access
your whole voice. That's a somatic response. So as a somatic attach-
ment coach, | work on your attachments and relationships—to your-
self, to the world around you—through a somatic lens. We look for
the areas where your body’s responses hijack you and prevent you
from being fully present. And then we focus on the quickest and
healthiest route to making your body feel like home. Because if you're
feeling at home in your body and there are less of those hijacking re-
sponses, intimacy becomes so much fuller and juicier.
Trust, self-awareness, learning to feel safe in a relationship—as
| understand it, we can’t heal without these elements.
Exactly. | call myself a somatic attachment coach because one of my main
focuses is building secure attachment. In a session, | become the secure
attachment figure for my client. Meaning, they can feel safe talking to
me about what's going on while I’m giving them real-time feedback
about what it's like to be in intimacy with them. If | say, “Hey, something
you said actually made me feel a little uncomfortable," they know, if !
give them feedback, it doesn't mean that Гт leaving. It just means
we're going to sit with what's come up. Secure attachment is about
feeling safe in your body, safe in intimacy, safe in any relationship, safe
in expressing yourself—all of these things increase your self-esteem.
That is the foundation for all the work | do with my clients.
Is it a long process?
It depends on the person. When | first meet a client, | tell them that we're
always going to be working on secure attachment; it's always going
to be happening in the background. We might not be focusing on se-
cure attachment as directly as you and | are in this moment, but some-
thing is always going on under the surface.
If l'm with a client and it's very difficult for them to be in any state
of discomfort, then | want to help them increase their ability to sit with
that first. And it can take however long it takes. You can't fake intima-
cy; when | notice that secure attachment is really reciprocated and we
have that connection, the healing deepens, and so much becomes
possible for the client.
Why choose a somatic approach to sex and relationship coaching?
l've always naturally leaned toward somatic practices. | am a perform-
er; | am an actor, a dancer; | do comedy. Гуе always been a very em-
bodied person; my relationship with my body is vivid. And as | was build-
ing my business, it was a kind of happy accident that | just happened
to land on a somatic education. It was the perfect fit—it slid right into
place with me already being such an embodied person who values
listening to the minutiae of my body.
To what extent is physical touch part of somatic healing?
For in-person sessions, | always let the client know that touch is available
—and obviously with the understanding that the client can always say
yes or no. It can be very effective. There are boundaries and parameters:
Clothes always stay on; there's no contact with the other's genitals,
even over clothes, and there's no kissing on the lips. Otherwise, if it's
going to help facilitate the client feeling more at home in their body
and more at ease with touch in their partnership, then yes, it's some-
thing | can incorporate. For example, let's say their nervous system is
dysregulated and they're talking about something very difficult from
their past and have never received calm, securely attached touch. | might
hold them in a session. | might put my arm around them or maybe put
my hand on their knee. Erotic touch can happen if it is needed and use-
ful, but always within the parameters | previously stated.
In virtual sessions (e.g., Zoom), which | do a lot of, | encourage cli-
ents to have a very experiential session and encourage them to touch
themselves. If they're with their partner in a session, then | encourage
touch between the two.
In researching your website, | was intrigued to learn that our
nervous system has its own memory. Trauma is hardwired into
our physiology. The body's natural response is fight-or-flight,
and this can lead us to reject intimacy. How do you identify the
root of these problems?
Thank you for asking. This is one of my favorite things to talk about
because it is so powerful. ..like you've cracked the healing code. | tell
my clients that talk therapy can often primarily focus on a "thinking
brain." | focus on the "feeling brain" —the nervous system and what
is happening throughout your entire being.
It begins with a very in-depth intake process. They might say, “I'm
fighting with my partner a lot” or "I feel threatened іп my relationship."
So we slow it down, and | ask questions like, "When your partner says
this and a fight occurs, what happens inside of you? What goes on
inside of your body?" They might feel like they want to run away, and
that's when | can begin to detect their attachment style. When |
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM 49
hear, "My partner doesn't give me enough attention; it's never enough,"
that might be a more anxiously aligned attachment strategy.
Once we identify their most common attachment strategy, it may
or may not be useful to ask when these feelings developed or, “When
was the first time you remember feeling this way? What was your
childhood like? How available was love and touch when you were a
kid?” Other times it's more useful to be with what's happening right
now. From there | can slow the process down—especially if someone
is having an anxious attachment response, where their body is very
activated and in fight-or-flight mode.
You mentioned trauma being stored in the body. I’ve been able to help
clients experiencing chronic pain without even being in the same room
as them because we are accessing the emotion stored in the body, then
showing the body that the client is prepared to process these emo-
tions with the support of a network and tools and resources. We are
able to move the emotion through the body and get rid of chronic pain.
| read the touching testimonials on your site and was wondering
if there was a particular case that stays with you, one that ham-
mers home that feeling of “This is why | do what | do.”
One of my most impactful cases was a client who would experience
intense pelvic pain during intercourse. We did three sessions together
where | slowed everything down and we kind of started to talk to the
pain. And | said, “Pain, what are you doing here? What's going on? Why
are you manifesting in this way?” Pain is normally there to protect; it’s
going to try to immobilize us from doing something the body thinks is
unsafe. That's the kind of lens we use in this work: Why is this pain
immobilizing freedom of movement, freedom of emotion, of expres-
sion, of sexuality? Why is the body resorting to pain to slow us down
and stop us from doing something else?
50 we spoke to the pain. And this client was fully prepared to get
surgery. | asked it, “How old do you think my client is?” And the pain
thought my client was over a decade younger. We then asked, “What
are you trying to protect my client from?” And there’s always an emotion
underneath— shame, sadness, fear, rejection. ..things like that. The mo-
ment! find out what's going on, | ask my client, “What resources do you
have, in this moment, in your life, when you feel those emotions? What
do you do?” | have them list out their resources, and then | ask the pain,
“Do you hear what's happening, how resourced my client is?”
They talk me through how they’re feeling—increased heart rate,
sweaty hands, etc. And we stop there, showing the body that we can
feel fear and feel shame and feel sadness and still stay present in this
moment. That's a huge part of somatic work: Can | feel difficult emo-
tions and stay connected to everything around me?
By the third session the pain was gone and there was no need for
surgery. When you start to notice the absence of everything that was
there before and you start to see the possibilities—those are the mo-
ments where | feel like this is exactly where l'm meant to be.
Tell me about the clients who find their way to you. Are there any
common traits or trends?
| see people from so many different demographics. | see singles and
couples, people who are in open and polyamorous relationships with
multiple partners. | see clients who are monogamous, queer, different
gender identities and different ages. It’s quite a range, and | feel so
blessed every time | get to connect with someone.
50 HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
Another thing that | find really interesting about your approach
is how it applies to so much more than sex—to be happy in life,
we must love ourselves. We yearn to feel safe, loved and au-
thentically connected to the ones we love. | can sort of imagine
a couple coming to you for help with their sex lives, only to
emerge as stronger, more resilient human beings.
| focus on nervous system health and secure attachment; intimacy is
a happy byproduct of the process. If a client comes in and wants to
learn sexual technique, we can absolutely do that. We can discuss a
step-by-step process to do whatever it is they want to do in bed. But
| find that how we are is so much more important than what we do.
That's even true with me as a practitioner: It’s so important for me to
be safe, relatable, unconditional, accepting and present, rather than
just saying, “Okay, you’re having problems with your sex life. Follow
steps А, В and С.” If your body isn't safe and you aren't fully present
in your body, then it kind of doesn't matter. If | can create ап environ-
ment for you and your partner to fully understand each other in a safe,
calm state, then everything else you do is going to open up and be
expansive, more connective. And then we can talk about technique.
"Physician, heal thyself." Do you apply these techniques to your
own life?
Constantly! | come from a very conservative background and grew up
repressed in many ways. l've done lots of work on myself, many dif-
ferent types of healing over almost a decade. For me, the thing that
really tipped the scale to opening up my life was doing somatic
work—really getting to know my nervous system and creating a lan-
guage for myself that transcends all aspects of my personal life. I'm
constantly evaluating, bringing in new practices and sharing them
with the people that | love. Even in my style of coaching, where I'm
creating intimacy with my clients, | share with them. "Hey, the other
day my nervous system was so activated that | couldn't make any
decisions.” l've even had sessions where | say, "Listen, Гт really ac-
tivated right now, but I'm going to stay with you, and I'm going to be
with you in this session." It's almost like a mirroring technique: What
is it like to witness someone who is feeling activated and then stay
with them? These sessions can be so beautiful and beneficial. | never
want the client to feel like Гт the practitioner over here, helping you
over there on the other side of the room. We're in this together.
Just walking through the door is a victory. Having the self-aware-
ness to know you need help, that's a huge first step. How does
one begin to articulate these feelings? What questions should
we be asking ourselves?
The first question you should be asking is, how safe do you feel in your
body? Does your body feel like a place you can call home? The sec-
ond question is, am | able to love in the capacity that | feel is natural
to me, or do | feel inhibited? And am | able to receive love? As you said
earlier, we have to love ourselves, and | absolutely believe that. More
specifically, we have to allow ourselves to be loved. That's where a lot
of the healing happens: "Can | receive love—into my body, into my
spirit and into my heart?" You can copy-paste these questions into
your relationship, your sex life, anything.
Follow Crystal Rose Napolitano! IG: <sYourBodyYourStory; YourBody-
YourStory.com. For press inquiries, go to YourBobyYourStory.com/press.
WE HAVE
TO ALLOW
OURSELVES
TO BE LOVED.
ТНАГ 5 WHERE
А ГОТ ОЕ
THE HEALING
HAPPENS:
“CAN | RECEIVE
LOVE—INTO
MY BODY, INTO
MY SPIRIT
AND INTO MY
HEART?’
BUSINESS AND
PLEASURE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
LARRY FLYNT PRODUCTIONS
25
В love-traveling, nature, hanging out with my family and friends, cats, weed and having
sex! I’ve always been a sexual person, and sometimes wild stuff just happens. Like once
| | was catching a ride with three strangers; we started chatting and ended up fucking.
= Another time | was hanging out with a girlfriend, doing a slumber party thing. We took `
some acid and started messing around. Гт definitely attracted to women, but they in-
timidate me a little, so | haven't pursued them much outside of the industry.
“Even in the industry, Гт intimidated by all of the beautiful women! But they have been
so nice. [п fact, my best friend 15 a porn star. | remember getting out of a bad relation-
ship and needing a place to stay. So | went to her place, and we got to talking about her
job. It sounded so good, | begged her to help me get into the business. Flash forward,
we're still besties, and | ve been having a great time in this fucking industry. :(
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Mouse's lawyer de-
Mickey clared, “No, Mickey,
you can't divorce Minnie on the grounds
that she was very silly.”
“| didn’t say she was very silly,”
Mickey insisted. “1 said she was fuck-
ing Goofy.”
۲ was walking through his apart-
ОП ment building's lobby when
he bumped into Jennifer, a voluptuous
babe wearing a loosely tied robe. She
began flirting with Ron.
A few minutes later she placed a
hand on his chest and said, “Let's go to
my place. | hear someone coming.”
Ron followed Jennifer to her apart-
ment, and once inside she slipped off
her robe. “What do you think is my best
feature?” the naked bombshell cooed.
Ron looked her up and down, then
nervously replied, ا“ guess that would
be your ears.”
“Му ears?!” Jennifer shouted. “How
can you possibly think that the best part
of this body is my ears?!”
Ron stammered, “Uh, back in the lob-
by you said you heard someone coming.
Well, that was me.”
A a jetliner was taxiing for takeoff,
S flight attendant Sally concluded
her announcement by saying, “Оп be-
half of your captain, Roberta Smith, we
wish y'all a pleasant journey.”
A male passenger waved down Sally
HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
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while she made last-minute checks. “Is
this plane really being flown by a wom-
an?” he asked.
“Yes,” Sally informed him. “In fact,
the entire crew is female.”
“In that case ۱۱۱ need a stiff drink
once we get underway," the passenger
said. "| don't wanna think of all those
women in the cockpit."
"That's another thing," Sally huffed.
"We no longer call it the cockpit. Now
it's the box office."
Ë | purchased a fur coat and
al Q was wearing it when she
leftthe store. An older woman approached
the twentysomething and snarled, "Do
you know how many animals gave up
their lives to make that coat?"
Glowering at the woman, Carla re-
sponded, “Do you know how many ani-
mals | had to fuck to buy a fur coat?"
3 ж husband Vince came home
d an S hammered every night, and
she always yelled at him before storming
off to bed alone. One night she decided to
try reverse psychology.
When Vince staggered into the house,
Jan was waiting at the door in her sexiest
lingerie. She settled hubby into an arm-
chair and gave him a backrub. А few min-
utes later, Jan purred, "It's getting late, big
boy. Why don't we go upstairs to bed?"
"We might as well," Vince mumbled.
“Рт gonna be in trouble with my old lady
when | get home anyway.”
HUSTLER Humor jokes are provided by
our readers. If you've heard a gut-buster
lately, send it to HUSTLER Joke Page, LFP
Publishing Group, LLC, 2029 Century Park
East, Suite 4200N, Los Angeles, CA 90067,
or shoot an email to HUSTLERGLFP. com. If
we print it, we'll send you 25 bucks!
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE `
ABOUT YOU, BRAD. YOU -
KNOW ALL THE RIGHT
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ANYTIME
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ANY TIME
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4 سرک ۱ EI | 42
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LET’S
DANCE
HITTING
THE ROAD
WITH ХХХ
STARS
BY JOHN BLAYLOCK
LAUREN PHILLIPS
PHOTO COURTESY LAUREN PHILLIPS |
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"e rr =. АҒ. = 3 а
ae с. ЛА
WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO-GET A LAP DANCE
FROM YOUR FAVORITE PORN STAR? WONDER NO
MORE, AS THESE FIVE-STAR FEATURE DANCERS
BRING THE PARTY TO YOU 7
—
Lots of people travel for work, but for topflight feature dancers,
it's a labor of love. Like Maverick or Captain Marvel, these jet-set
erotic artists are cut from a different cloth. Performers by day,
headliners by night, they walk the walk in-pleaser heels and little
else. Porn is hard Work, and these XXX stars are doing double
. duty to bring the heat to your doorstep.
While it's increasingly common for سس to do the
gentlemen's club circuit, one can’t help but wonder why: Is it the
money? The energy? А sense of wanderlust? All of the above.
But more than anything? Из for you—the fans. Five iconic in-
dustry titans take.us coast-to-coast with this firsthand look at
the life of a touring feature dancer. Lineup for the meet and greet
starts behind us. >>
JENNIFER WHITE
LET'S GET PHYSICAL
То paraphrase the immortal words of Jacobim Mugatu, “Jennifer
White. . .50 hot right now.” In case you haven't noticed, the divine Ms.
White is having a moment—and a well-deserved moment at that,
with over а decade under her belt as one of adult's best kept secrets.
Hot on the heels of her first-ever DVD showcase, Jennifer talks about
suffering for her art and how that fan energy makes it all worthwhile.
HUSTLER: Congratulations on your 14-year adult entertainment
anniversary! At what point did you decide to try feature dancing?
JENNIFER WHITE: | think | started about six, seven years ago. Some-
thing like that. ۱۵ always heard from other big-name performers that
it can be really beneficial to your career to do appearances and show
your face. And now that I’m doing it, а agree with that 100%. Every
time | dance, | get a boost in all my social media views across all
platforms, OnlyFans members...it helps out a lot. Enough that my
popularity started to take off the second | started doing it.
What makes it so rewarding? Why do you enjoy being a feature
dancer?
The physicality of Ht 一 pole dancing is a lot of fun. When | was just start-
ing out, | took some pole dancing classes so that | looked like | knew what
| was doing. That part has been a learning experience, and а fun one
at that. The other part | like is when | do interviews like this or the one
| did for Holly Randall; | like to hear my fans’ feedback. When | show
up at these places, they usually have a lot to tell me, and | like that.
Was there a particular fan interaction that made an impression?
Right after my Holly Randall interview, someone at the club came up
to me and said they didn't know who | was before listening to it and
how they thought | was a badass. That kind of reaction makes me feel
validated; it’s pretty awesome.
So you've taken classes, you've had years to hone your craft—
l'm curious, what makes a Jennifer White performance unfor-
gettable?
| do a pole dancing routine, flips and all. | try to incorporate tricks when-
ever | can, because one thing | ve heard from house dancers is how a
lot of feature dancers don't even touch the pole.. .at all. So, yeah, | like
to show off a little bit. But what really makes the night special for me
is the interaction at the meet and greet that | do after. | like to chat
with my fans and get to know them. That's special.
Touring is a lot of work. Do you mind being on the road?
| enjoy traveling, but in short spurts. | only do one or two gigs a month,
because that's about all my body can handle, from the travel to the
dancing itself. I'm literally covered in bruises by the time I'm done.
[п related news, | found this tweet you posted in March of 2022:
“| did 11 feature dancing shows іп 4 days. I’m beat.” How did
you survive?
That has to be the Gold Club [Sacramento], because they're the only
club that does that. Usually, you do four to five shows total over a
two- or three-day period. So 11 shows, It’s a lot. | don't know how |
survived, to be honest.
76 HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
Any hilarious mishaps that aren't too painful to share?
| wear these fake ponytails onstage sometimes. | was dancing at Sap-
phire in New York, and | did this flip on the pole. That's when it got caught
on something and pulled my hairpiece right off! | was mortified.
How did you recover?
| just toughed it out and kept going. The show must go on!
Fourteen years 15 a long time, especially in this industry. Do you
ever meet fans who have followed you from day one?
Yeah, there's this group of guys on the East Coast who, ever since |
started feature dancing, will always come out to support me and were
fans long before | started feature dancing. They're really awesome.
“JENNIFER WHITE
‘PHOTO COURTESY XEMPIRE/ '
MILE HIGH MEDIA
Your Evil Angel showcase is absolutely mind-blowing. How does
it feel, being at the top of your game, signing a DVD copy of Deep
Inside Jennifer White?
surreal. That's the only word to describe К. Гуе wanted this for so long,
and now that it's finally happening, | don't know what to do with this
energy. I'm just so happy.
| am the proud father of two adorable cats and hate being away
from them. Tell me, just between us: Do you ever FaceTime your
cat and dog while you're away?
| do, actually. | miss them so much when "т away! You gotta FaceTime;
it's super important to me.
Follow Jennifer White! X: OJenWhiteXXX; OF: @JenniferWhite
HALEY SPADES
DANCING DAYS
She studied marketing in school, but it doesn't take ап MBA to know
that feature dancing 15 good business for performers. А petite дупато
who packs a wallop in every scene, Haley Spades sees feature danc-
ing as a way of reconnecting with her strip club roots while paying hom-
age to the women who have inspired her along the way. New York glam,
Southern belle—there's a Haley for every occasion, and heaven is just
а lap dance away.
HUSTLER: Your adult debut was in 2021, but before that you
worked as a dancer in New Orleans. And if l'm not mistaken, you
got your start at Larry Flynt's HUSTLER Club?
HALEY SPADES: That's where | started. HUSTLER is where | first au-
ditioned.
And what do you remember about that day?
It was terrifying! [Laughs.] | was extremely nervous. Му legs were shak-
ing, and | remember thinking, Oh, my God, now I have to show my tits.
But | was a cute 18-year-old, so | ended up getting hired.
| came across this great quote where you talk about being a
dancer: “1 gained so much wisdom and so many friendships and
connections out of that. It made me grow up really fast. It made
me feel more confident. It made me feel a different way about
life." [Source: AVN] How so?
What | was trying to get at is how | got to work with all sorts of women
who were following different paths in life. They would talk about their
experiences, and | gained so much wisdom and insight; the friendships
| made in the club are unlike any other. Such a pure sisterhood. As for
the confidence it gave me. ..when you're being showered with money
and compliments, it's a rocket ride!
Why feature-dance on top of being an in-demand performer? Is
it about having multiple revenue streams? Or does your passion
run deeper than dollars?
| would say both. | respect the art form, so being able to do this feels re-
ally good. | always like to remind myself where | came from, so for me
this is about paying my respects. But it's also great to have money!
So how exactly do these nights work? For instance, who books
your flight? Who pays you?
f 4
HALEY SPADES :4
PHOTO BY IG 710
| fly out, perform, then fly back the next day. It’s booked through the
Lee Network, and they have ties to all the Sapphire clubs throughout
the U.S. Sapphire cuts me a check for performing, and | keep all my tips
plus whatever | make selling merch and lap dances.
So your plane lands, and presumably someone is there to pick you
up in a limo?
Oh, my God, | wish. | have to take an Uber, but obviously they reimburse
that. "т usually landing at around 3 p.m. or 4 p.m. Then I'll take a nap
at the hotel before getting picked up to go to the club at about 10:45
p.m. or 11 p.m. | do my show; I'm there for a few hours, get driven back
to my hotel, then fly back the next morning.
| imagine people are пісе and respectful for the most part, but
DANC
гт
| don't see you wandering around the club unaccompanied.
Oh, no, they don't let you do that. It also waters down who you are as
that night's “celebrity,” so they keep me separated from everybody.
East Coast versus West Coast—l'm wondering if you notice any
differences between, say, New York and Sacramento?
This kind of ties in with research | did back in the day, where you have
to sort of mold and form yourself to your market. In Sacramento, it’s a
very rural kind of environment, so | pull out all the classic stripper
songs, like “Next Contestant” [Nickelback] and “Рот Star Dancing” [My
Darkest Days]. Whereas, when I’m in New York, they like it more lively,
upbeat and energetic. They get the full glam experience. But in Sac-
78 HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
ramento it's more Southern and innocent, not so dolled up all the time.
Adapting to your audience just seems like good business.
And | think that's my marketing background, to know what you should
do and how it will benefit you the most, because not every crowd 1$
the same.
Not to get hung up on the negatives, but is there anything about
being on the road that you could do without?
The travel. | just got back from Japan about a week and a half ago, so
going to New York a week later... Oh, man. Another cross-country flight?
Okay, let's go!
What makes it all worth it?
| like to meet my fans. Plus, it reminds me of my dancing days. Going
back to my roots always feels really good.
Follow Haley Spades! X, OF: @HaleySpades; IG: @GamerGirlHaley
RACHAEL CAVALLI
GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS!
Between her incendiary porn career and a new па! salon, perform-
er-entrepreneur Rachael Cavalli has a loton her plate. And while she's
taking fewer bookings than before, being a feature dancer is a calling
she simply cannot ignore. From conquering her fears to connecting with
adoring fans, learn how Rachael is bringing joy (and the occasional
bidding war) to cities near and far.
HUSTLER: You just got back from a well-deserved vacation. |
take it you’re busier than ever?
RACHAEL CAVALLI: Oh, my gosh, yes, extremely. | ve got my nail sa-
lon that we opened back in October 22, so that's keeping me occu-
pied. It's hectic enough that Гуе had to cut down feature dancing to
just once a month. I'm still shooting full-time too, so lm definitely
staying busy.
| believe you were booked in New York just a couple weeks ago?
| was! К was at Sapphire, one of my favorite places to go. Always а
great time. Tons of fans come out, and it’s good to see everybody. You
gotta love New York!
| can only imagine how long the line is for your meet and greet.
People are lining up until closing time. Гт doing lap dances, signing
stuff, taking pictures.
Do a lot of people go for the lap dance?
Definitely. For fans who have never met me before, it gives us a little
one-on-one time together. | also sell DVDs, prints, my pocket pussy...
but I’m all out of hoodies, unfortunately.
Damn. That’s something musicians and feature dancers have in
common: All the money is in the merch.
Right?
You have a very interesting origin story as a feature dancer. How
did it happen for you?
A club owner was getting a lot of requests for me, so he hit up an agent.
LAUREN PHILLIPS
PHOTO COURTESY
LAUREN PHILLIPS
The agent told him he'd ask, but was pretty sure | didn't dance. And
this guy was like, “I don't care what you have to do. Just get her over
here.” So | finally did it, and it was really hard. I'll never forget my first
appearance; | was so nervous. Shaking. Из so easy for те to get
naked and have sex for the whole world to see, but їо get onstage and
take my clothes off?
What made you want to keep doing it?
The chance to visit states Гуе never been to, traveling, meeting fans
who can't make it to the big adult expo events—those were my main
reasons. But also to conquer my fear.
Can you describe a moment where those fears were put to rest?
My second trip to Pittsburgh —just recently. | went thinking it wasn't go-
ing to be busy, but then, when | got up there, it was freaking packed.
| was offering rides [а short but sweet lap dance] for $10, and the line
was so long that | thought | was going to faint before | was done. Every-
one was so welcoming, and | had so much fun making connections.
Who else has been lucky enough to see you in the flesh?
| once did a tour that included Pittsburgh, Philly, New Уогк...Гуе done
Chattanooga, Oklahoma, Tijuana, Sacramento, San Diego, Indiana...
next month I'm in North Dakota. I'm booked quite a bit.
Tijuana and Ghattanooga must be two very different experiences.
Tijuana was...different. People don't really come up to the stage as
much; they sort of watch from afar. Somebody might come up and
throw down a bunch of money, but then go sit right back down. The
interaction was not what I'm used to. In Chattanooga there's a six-foot
distance between the patrons and the performer. It’s crazy. My whole
thing is interacting with my fans, shaking my tits in their faces. It was
really hard.
What are your female fans like?
More aggressive and very fun.
Do tell!
In Pittsburgh there was this little contest going on between a guy and
girl sitting on opposite sides of the stage. And she was like, “| guaran-
tee | have more money to throw than him!” She kept coming up to get
dances. He'd throw money; she'd throw money. Just battling all night
and talking shit to each other from across the stage.
And are women lining up to meet you after the show?
They are! Some buy a picture, others buy my DVDs. ..one lady bought
my pocket pussy for her husband. | thought that was sweet.
You work with all the top studios and are one of the top talents in
the industry today; yet you still make time to be a feature danc-
er. Why?
My fans. They keep me going. From watching my videos to following
me on social media and showing up at the club to support, ۱۲ feels so
awesome. | love connecting with new people, and I'm so grateful to
everyone who believes in me and what | do.
Follow Rachael Cavalli! X, OF: &RachaelCavalli; IG: @OfficialRachael-
Cavalli, &HoneyNailzHollywood
LAUREN PHILLIPS
WE ARE FAMILY
Prolific doesn't even begin to describe Lauren Phillips, a living hard-
core legend whose tireless output and trademark giggle make life worth
living. A relative newcomer to the world of feature dancing, this pro-
fessionally trained stepper is on a mission to build a community that
includes all sex workers. And if you're lucky enough to be invited on-
stage, a Word of advice: Don't overstay your welcome.
HUSTLER: You've been nominated for an Exotic Dancer Award!
Which category?
| AUREN PHILLIPS: Correct! Newcomer Feature Entertainer of the Year.
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM 79
P CASSÍDY LUXE
— ہے PHOTO COURTESY SSIDY LUXE And that's an important distinction to make —you're
SS 2 >
f
a seasoned performer, but feature dancing 1$ a rel-
atively new adventure.
Exactly. People say I'm not a newcomer, but the truth is,
Гуе only been doing this for a year now. | may not be new
to the community, but l'm new to stripping.
New but not a novice. Tell us about your background
in professional, mainstream dance.
Growing up, | trained in ballet, tap, jazz, modern, Chi-
nese ribbon dancing—l'd try anything. | hold a degree in
dance from Rutgers University and worked professionally
for six years with two modern companies on top of being
a backup dancer for a Tina Turner impersonator.
Many people start out stripping and transition into
porn, but you went from professional entertainer to
adult film star and then feature dancer.
| was an artist working multiple jobs; | even worked as a
nanny on top of teaching dance. At the time | was living
in small-town New Jersey and feeling frustrated. ..it was
so hard. | loved dancing, but | was starting to hate it,
because it felt like a job. Then one of my dancer friends
told me point-blank, "You'd be great as a porn star!" Back
then | was nationally certified to teach dance, from begin-
ner to advanced. But | only started stripping when | be-
came a feature dancer.
The Lauren Phillips party never stops: Archibald's
(DC), Deja Vu Showgirls (MI), Exposé (CA), Black-
jack's (IL), Larry Flynt's HUSTLER Club (MO & NV),
Cheerleaders (PA), Pink Pony (FL), Omnia Blue Gen-
tlemen's Club (FL), Cadillac Lounge (ВІ)... Why is
tour life the life for you?
| like to travel! [Giggles.] It's kind of like being on set;
when I'm on set, it's the most amazing experience in the
world. It's my safe space. | know the crew; | know every-
body. It's my family. And going to these different clubs,
that is what l'm trying to create now. Not just with the
owners, but the managers, the house girls—1 want to
create a family in the feature community.
Things must get kind of crazy when you hit the stage.
Гуе had a lot of great experiences where | was like,
"Holy shit! | didn't know that was going to happen." | do
this thing where | bring an audience member up onstage
and they pay $10 for a short little lap dance. But they
kept putting my chair out early, so people just kept com-
ing up. It got to be so much that | broke the chair. Then on
top of that this girl says she wants to give me a lap dance.
And | was like, "Okay, fine," but then after she wouldn't
get off the stage. She was lying there while | tried to
work around her until security finally pulled her off.
Yikes!
Гуе had fans get a little too into it. One guy picked me up
80 HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
when | was doing a lap dance on him, and all | could think was, Oh,
God, please don't drop me.
People have died for less. How about the meet and greet? What
are your best sellers?
Every club and city 15 different. Lap dances and my Kiiroo toy do real-
ly well, so | usually push those the most. ۱۱۱ bring prints to sign, but
most of the time they want a private dance with me. Selfies are also
big; ГП usually have a light set up, and my assistant does it for me. But
| push the private dances because there's more money in it, and it’s
fun to grind up on a guy. Гт such a tease!
Does it feel special being a headliner and seeing your fans line
up to meet you?
It does. It makes me feel like I've accomplished something. But I'm
not doing this to feel special; I’m doing this because | want to support
my community. When | started out, my goal was to be a well-known
porn star. Now | want to make a difference. | want showgirls to under-
stand how, despite adult entertainment being split up into these
cliques, we're all doing the same thing. My goal now is to support and
embrace the feature dancer community. I'm trying to show that, as a
female, if you put your mind to it, you can do anything.
Follow Lauren Phillips! X, IG: @LaurenFillsUp; LaurenPhillips.com
CASSIDY LUXE
LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU
A former pastry chef who loves animals, Cassidy Luxe 15 a dancer а!
heart. In fact, her love of dance is how she found sex work—first as
a stripper, then as an OnlyFans creator who would go on to dominate
adult entertainment (and our hearts). Now, as a feature dancer, her
passion comes full circle as she flies city to city, performing for fans
across the country. Meet her in the VIP for a lap dance or even a re-
freshing nap!
HUSTLER: Do you ever stop to think about what a wild ride it’s
been and how you got here?
CASSIDY LUXE: Nearly every day! And every previous version of my-
self is happier for it. Like so many others, | spent a long time feel-
ing unhappy and lost before finally becoming this version of me. For
as long as | can remember, | knew this was precisely what | wanted
to do with my life. And | never imagined so many avenues would open
once | got here! Amazingly, stripping is what got me started in the
first place.
You’re dancing in New York this Saturday! What sexy tricks do
you have up your sleeve?
т super excited to be heading back to NYC! Onstage, there is defi-
nitely a method to my madness. Usually I'll start with a pole trick to
grab everyone's attention. Once | have them, Гт a total floorwork
girlie. There's something so powerful about seducing a crowd through
your body language, eye contact and energy. | love interacting with
my fans!
Not everyone is cut out for tour life. Do you enjoy being on the road?
| absolutely love traveling for my job. It's incredibly refreshing to get away
from it all—even for work! Feature dancing has taken me to new places
while instilling a deeper appreciation for what the world has to offer.
These events are a chance for your fans to meet you in the flesh.
Any memorable encounters, awkward, funny or otherwise?
| receive a lot of fan art. It's amazing stuff, and interesting to see how
others see you! In general, these encounters are always great. People are
super kind and respectful. The last time | was in NYC, a fan brought me
Victoria's Secret body spray and lotion, which | love! | still use it to this day.
Any chance you've danced in Florida? Because | would love to
know how that compares to a city like New York.
| have and do! But my dancing career actually started in Philly. Cultur-
ally, it's very different. In general, | would say there is less pressure
during a one-on-one interaction than with customers up north. How-
ever, the money in Florida is crazy! | can be a successful dancer any-
where, but Florida money is top tier.
Do you have any travel hacks to speak of? Snacks, how to pack,
hotel minibar cheats, etc...
Always take a decongestant before the flight. | know that's dorky, but
it makes a huge difference.
Does it feel lonely sometimes?
When the insomnia hits, a little bit. l've always been a bit of a loner
though. Гт an only child, so Гт pretty independent and enjoy time
alone. Granted, it was a little lonely before | became more open about
being in the industry, not being able to share where | am or why I'm
traveling. But now that the secret is out, it's fun to share with family
and friends.
Has anyone ever proposed to you? Fans rushing the stage, you
karate-chopping your way out?
Гуе had women climb onstage and kiss me on the mouth or other
parts of my body, where that kind of thing is strictly forbidden! Per-
sonally, | don't mind. | want you to have fun! Part of my job is making
sure people are entertained.
Why is feature dancing important to you?
Dancing was my first love. | found myself through dance, and dance
is how | discovered the path I’m on. While | may not be able to dance
as often as | used to, | will never not honor that part of my life. Also,
the feeling | get from giving someone else a great time is priceless. |
love the attention | get when | perform; | love interacting and sharing
a good vibe with people who appreciate what | do. That's what's im-
portant to me.
Have you ever hooked a whale? Thousand-dollar tips, nonnego-
tiable bearer bonds, etc.?
Гуе made great money thanks to some well-known clients—typically
athletes. One of my favorite memories is from a night | was dancing
on Thanksgiving Eve. | was in the VIP room with [name redacted]. Не
ordered one of everything from the food menu and asked if he could
just nap. The nap turned into a five-hour slumber, and | ended up mak-
ing about $6k that night—the rooms are $1k an hour! We actually keep
in touch to this day! |
Follow Cassidy Luxe! X, IG, OF: <sCassidyLuxe
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM
81
HARDCORE SHOWCASE
2-2 7 STORM, ATHENA HEART, LIV REVAMPED, HOLLY
=~ DAY & CHRISTY LOVE.
3 y Get ready for more sexy, sapphic taboo fantasies
MY LESBIAN MOTHER-IN-LAW 3
HUSTLER VIDEO. DIRECTOR: FUMIGALLI. STARRING: RACHEL RIV-
ERS, KRYSTAL SPARKS, LINDSEY LAKES, SKYLER
in My Lesbian Mother-In-Law 3, where moms and
daughters (by marriage) throw caution to the wind
with lustful abandon. It always starts off innocently enough, like little
Rachel wondering why her husband's mother keeps two fingernails so
much shorter than the others. Smash-cut to the bedroom, and the sparks
are flying, with Krystal leading the way, her probing hands and tongue
taking command of Rachel's writhing young body. Then come the dil-
` dos, thick and thin, until the women ride each other's face into the sunset.
Never one to say no to tradition, blond newlywed Skyler graciously ac-
cepts Lindsey's hand-me-downs and agrees to do a little fashion show
for the matriarch with ulterior motives. But before she can leave the
room to change, her mother-in-law 15 all hands, and the game 1$ on.
It's blonde-on-blonde as Ms. Lakes takes charge of the situation, rub-
bing and licking Skyler's hairless beaver while hubby is away. Welcome
to the family, baby girl. In our third vignette, Athena's weekly coffee date
= 4 with her beloved BFF-in-law (Liv Revamped) takes a turn for the erotic
LINDSEY LAKES& =
SKYLERSTORM а а.
. when innocent fantasy morphs into carnal reality. As hotel room hookups
go, it’s as tender as it is taut; this is pure pussy worship, both method-
Ew ical and authentic in its deliberate delivery. No stranger to the taboo
| porn circuit, Christy Love hits all the right notes as a pervy mom who gets
busted spying on her daughter-in-law while she undresses. Threatened
with being outed to the family, Love puts up no resistance to the towering
y یں NIA Holly Day's aggressive advances. Hands and tongues everywhere, it's in-
Eu M law bonding at its best. With great storylines and a killer cast, My Lesbian
۲ y И Mother-in-Law 315 dirty fun wrapped in romance. Enjoy mouthwater-
1 b | ing MILFS and slutty wives who can keep a secret.
82 HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
—Walden Lee
\ CHRISTY LOVE €
аш 1 HOLLY DAY
|
HARDCORE SHOWCASE
KRYSTAL SPARKS &
RACHEL RIVERS
KIRA NOIR
ERIN EVERHEART
NO CUM DODGING ALLOWED 14
JULES JORDAN VIDEO. DIRECTOR: MIKE JOHN. STARRING: ERIN
EVERHEART, MINA LUXX, KIRA NOIR, MADDY
MAY, LEXINGTON STEELE, RAMON NOMAR, MI-
CHAEL STEFANO, JOHN STRONG & ZAC WILD.
Dating all the way back to 2003, No Cum Dodging
Allowed is one of Jules Jordan’s longest-running
series. And after two decades there are no signs
of this jizz-soaked odyssey slowing down any time soon. What's truly
incredible, however (besides the dream team cast of cum-catching cuties),
is how three of the five sperm donors have been around since the VHS
era (Lex Steele, John Strong and Michael Stefano). It’s a kind of full-cir-
cle moment where past and present unite in perfect porn harmony.
speaking of perfection, Erin Everheart can do no wrong, banging out
scene after scene of eye-rolling, hole-stuffing hardcore. Paired with
the aforementioned legends of yore, Erin unleashes the beast with an
airtight DP and double-anal drilling before slurping down their babies
like a good girl. Petite treat Mina Luxx looks absolutely stunning with
her mouth wrapped around a thick cock; one could easily lose an en-
tire day watching her bounce up and down on Lex’s massive, rock-hard
fuckstick. Spit-roasted and pounded every which way (double vag alert!),
Mina is gifted with three creamy loads to gargle and gulp. AVN Perform-
er of the Year Kira Noir is not messing around in this three-on-one for the
ages, giggling her way through every known DP configuration. It is rare,
however, that the fucking is overshadowed by a starlet's genuine love
of spunk—watching Kira play with her food is an unexpected treat that
elevates an already great scene into something truly sublime. Batting
cleanup (hehe) is none other than new-school anal princess Maddy May,
who moans, squeals and drools her way through 28 minutes of intense,
no-holes-barred fucking. Only two loads for Ms. May, but she is none-
theless appreciative of her gooey amuse bouche. No Cum Doaging А!-
lowed 14 is hot heat from start to finish, guaranteed to drain your balls
faster than these girls can swallow protein. —W.L.
HARDCORE SHOWCASE
MINA LUXX
MAKE MY HOTWIFE SQUIRT
NEW SENSATIONS. DIRECTOR: PAUL WOODCREST. STAR-
RING: JESSE PONY, SKYLAR SNOW, EMBER SNOW, PAY-
TON PRESLEE, MILAN, BRAD NEWMAN, MICHAEL STE-
FANO 8: RAMON NOMAR.
To quote the immortal bard, “If hotwives be the food of
love, play on, give me excess of it.” In Make My Hotwife Squirt, director Paul
Woodcrest deftly combines the glory of non-monogamy and gushing pussies
to give us this premium-grade fucking package. Proud trophy wife Jesse Pony
is all about pleasing her man, especially if that means fucking other men. If
you know Jesse’s work, then you know what to expect: balls-deep blowjob
Skills, eye-popping dirty talk and a spray radius wider than the splash zone at
Cirque du Soleil's O. Like a woman possessed, she begs for a point-blank fa-
cial and gets exactly what she wants/deserves. For newly anointed hotwife
Skylar Snow, marriage isn't the end of discovery; it’s just the beginning. And
so she finds herself squaring off against the biggest cock she's ever seen (let
alone stuffed in her voracious holes), her juicy coochie spurting forth like a
broken aqueduct. Pickup artist Payton Preslee and her massive 36F all-natu-
rals gets lucky at the park, sucking Michael Stefano in plain sight before dash-
ing back to hers, where they finish the deed. And while this isn't a competi-
tion, Payton’s scene is probably more remarkable for the face-fucking (A+!)
than her adequate (yet admirable) emissions. Speaking of phenomenal tits,
Ember Snow is going to town on her clit when she gets a surprise visit from side
piece Ramon Nomar. He makes her taste the sweet, sticky mess between her
legs before she inhales his uncircumcised euro cock with dutiful devotion. Ra-
mon knows just how to work Ember’s G-spot, opening her up with that deep-
dick action and voodoo hand magic. By the time he’s blasting her tits in hot
jism, Ember is soaked to the bone in her own juices. Ambitious in scope, Make
My Hotwife Squirt exceeds expectations by delivering the goods: hot fucking
action and babes who bring it. —W.L.
|
PAYTON PRESLEE
IPod S |
-" EXPRESS YOURSELF
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
LARRY FLYNT PRODUCTIONS
&
efore shooting mainstream porn, | was in college studying
biology and psychology. | started camming because | was
looking for a flexible job. Doing something online seemed
like a good option, and її allowed me to explore my sexual-
ity in a safe way. | grew up in a religious environment, and Га say that
sex work healed my childhood repression, gave me confidence and
taught me how to entertain. Specifically, camming taught me how
to read a room and cater my performance to the wants of my fans,
and being on adult sets taught me collaboration.
“Outside of work, I'm an illustrator and photographer. "т pas-
sionate about art and expressing myself, and it's important to me
that when | create, | create things that have meaning. | believe that
the world would be a better place if people accepted themselves
and loved others without prerequisites. | hope that | can be an artist
who gets others to see the world in that way. Let's judge less. Let's
listen. Wear that cute dress or bright colors. Be you! | know that | look
very young, but! have a lot to say."
Aue
„т A hn
—
—
MF mom
Ти a
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Former hairdresser Sharon White, 33, from Budapest, Hungary, has become world-
famous by undressing as a model and XXX performer. "| love posing nude and making
men want to fuck me,” the 5-foot-10 bra-stuffer asserts. Sharon's other loves include
wandering around her hometown, eating at cafés in the Kopaszi-gát recreational zone,
spending entire days at her favorite zoo and reading horror stories and mysteries. But
- : the Stephen King fan isn't going to leave us in the dark about her sexual preferences: "|
aw - Ew > love big, thick dicks in my pussy and ass.” —Photos by Omnia Productions
100 HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
BEAVER HUNT
“My fantasy is having sex
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in the cable car that goes
up Buda Castle Hill. It'll
have to be aQqUickie. The
ride isn’t very long.”
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Domina, 22, from Colorado Springs, Colorado, 15 a traveling burlesque dancer and stripper,
but it was a less flamboyant job—and an unbashful gal pal—that inspired her to join our
Beaver colony. “While working as a sales rep at a HUSTLER store, | fell in love with the mag-
azine,” the 5-foot-10 eye-catcher explains. “After one of my friends was featured in Beaver
Hunt, | decided to give it a try. I'm always looking for a fun time!" Domina goes on to say, “I’m
outgoing, creative, easygoing and humorous. My hobbies are doing photo-shoots, cooking,
sewing, designing costumes and catching scary podcasts.” She's also into music—Korn,
Type O Negative, Slipknot, Amon Amarth—and amorous escapades. “I’m pansexual,” Domi-
па avows. “| appreciate every form of the human body. Public sex, горе play, wax play and
BDSM are just a few of the naughty things | enjoy. I’ve been told | have the devil's box, as I’m
typically the wettest and tightest partner my lovers encounter. My wildest sex was when a
girlfriend and | had a threeway with a stranger and recorded it for OnlyFans. We got kicked
out of the pool area for being too scandalous.” —Photos by Dennis Wagner
102 HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
BEAVER HUNT
Му?
“Му-Ғаһтавіев-аге having sex іп a cemetery
. and being the vixen in a ‘leaked’ sex tape.”
РАЙ |
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HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM 103
104
HUSTLER JANUARY 2024
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“Рт an open and confident woman,” declares Belle Amelie, 25, a model, photogra-
pher and makeup artist from Decatur, Illinois. “| love showing off my body. | can't wait
to tap in and meet my new fans!" The 5-foot-1 skin-mag rookie is eager to tell us
more: “I’m a bright, bubbly and go-with-the-flow kinda gal," she relates. “I'm always
looking to learn something new and asking all the questions. | want to know about the
world's wonders! My favorite hobbies are traveling and finding good places to eat for
my food blog. While | do that, Гт taking photos to document my life. Гт also into
plants, painting, waterfalls and music—everything from jazz and rap to country, EDM
and alternative." Of course we asked Belle Amelie, who adores The Weeknd and Nicky
Minaj, to briefly document her sex life: "| don't limit myself to any specific sort of
person. If the vibe is right, that's that. Га say I’m pretty aggressive. | know what | want,
and I'll go for it. | like to make my partners want more. My wildest sexual experiences
have been fucking in public, like at a beach and in the back of my car and a stairwell.
The thrill of it is wondering if anyone saw us. А good tease is exciting too. In the words
of my significant other, Гт a real big freak." —Photos by David Vickers
24 Br
-М = ш _ i
BEAVER HUNT
“My biggest sexual
fantasy 1$ to go to
H-Town with two
hotties! That would
just make me
50000 wet—the
ultimate turn-on.
Being sexually
curious, Га also
love to attend a
swingers party.
They seem to
have a lot of fun.”
A کو та
9 m/Belle: ‚Amelie |
NE TU ees ren ыз
АВЕ YOU AN AMATEUR EXHIBITIONIST 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER? For information on how to be a Beaver Hunt
model—and be paid $250—send an email to BeaverHunt@LFP.com.
HUSTLERMAGAZINE.COM 105
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SILVER PIECE
HUSTLER CLASSIC
MAY 2004
PHOTOGRAPHY BY
CLIVE McLEAN
ША lexis, 24, hails from Butler, Pennsylvania,
HW asmall town outside Pittsburgh, where she
| a | went to a strict Catholic school. “I didn't
Ш Má get my first kiss until the eighth grade,”
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The couple who plays togeth-
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