RIPITOUT, SON! PERFORATED CENTERFOLD
SLASH ¥
ADVICE FROM
OUS
THE 3,000-YEAR-OLD
STIRS IT UP
SASHA GREY
RICHARI
5799
PLUZHEADPHONES, HEAD CASES+SECRETS OF BARROOM BALLING
HAIRCLUB
Experience More;
Results that get results.
There's no substitute for the real thing. Get a full head of thick hai
HairClub.com to. h the word leader in hair r
from more proven soh locations, and 30-plus ye:
you up with a FREE ip analysis that will ha
HairClub.com
Onthe Cover
Pe 104
Photograph by
CharlieLangella
_ Contents OA
*
Meet a few of our favorite badasses:
Angelina Jolie, Travis Pastrana,
Clint Dempsey, Floyd Mayweather Jr,
Bishop Lamont, and more.
Plus, our Hard-Core Hall of Fame
Day Glow.
Victoria Vass
Bound or Glory
Peotone
EI
Sand Blast
k=
HotTropic
FSU
mamam; maaan
You come a Long
Way, | ‘Say е
lam
rien sorgsumsoe
thespecies
By Jonathan Sabin
The Fake Book, Vol.
Howto seem ikea better
person without actually
dong anything
Tech
Thebestbuds
Lost Weekend
Montreal
Modern Savage
Takeawhiff of celebrity
scents
StraightDope
Pet Peeves and Scoundrel
The Pour House
Rangpur Gimiet
APENTACUSECON, Г
Nm
~ 24
HOUR
PROTECTION
wm
ANTLPERSPIRANT
DEODORANT
ORIGINALFRAGRANCE
NOTHING stops wetness and odor better. Count on Bri
Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant with TRIMAX". The most advanced
wetness and odor protection with the great smell of Brut.°
Buy Brut” AntiPerspirant & Deodorant between May 1 and
September 30. Guaranteed to keep you dry and fresh all day.
If you aren't 100% satisfied send it back for a full refund.
BRUT! The Essence of Man.’
Ы DEPARTMENTS |
Editor's Note
Forum
Gametime
Warrior Wire
Hard News
Working Stiff
Illustrated Forum
Inthe Club
DearDr.Z
X-Rated Video
SexDiary
Past Perfect
Flicks
Active Wear a superhero
Style guide: summer previews
ту
Fuel TVishigh-octane
television
DVDs
‘Black Snake Moan Norbit.
andmore
Fromthe Dept of Oversight
newgames x Mark Empack тани nat wo
Reads. fate crc the photographer
Paul Popa Peter Kuper ard гатова A portoloci Pares
Harvey Pekar ‘hoot wthTinabesinsen page
Sirens коные и
KatVonD.
‘SFENTHOUSEEOW
Push your workout to the next level with this revolutionary free
weight system. One pair of adjustable Bowflex* SelectTech” 552
Dumbbells replaces 30 individual free weights—saving you time,
workout space and money.
With just the turn of a dial, you can
dumbbell's weight from 5 pounds to 52.5 pounds. SelectTech™
Dumbbells combine cutting-edge design and technology so you
can get the results of a true free weight workout right in your
‘own home,
tantly adjust each
+ Perform over 30 exercises with 80+ variations
* Switch quickly from one exercise to the next
and get our “Secrets of the 4-Step Rep”
DVD FREE. Pay just $5/month' with zero-down financing.
Or request a FREE information-kit DVD or video today.
or order online at
www.BowflexDumbBell.com
RR сые ги ылын, Dt rm aaa paran 5% phn pees Taner
E
SelectTech” Dumbbells deliver real results
for real people—and your satisfaction
is guaranteed, Try Bowflox® SelectToch"
Dumbbells in your home for six weeks.
If they don't sculpt your body the way you
want, send them back for a full purchaso-
price refund, less shipping and handling."
وھچ
er
Ë зоа
ANTT
0 С
just wooks!!
Before After&wacks
“Now I spend
than on.” Tye Dawson
BOWFLEX
Selectrech
Be Strong. Be Fit. Be Bowflex
+
‘ouknow it when you see it:a face tattoo, some guy
bleeding from the eyes trying to pull a Mack truck.
apalrofrottwellersina death-lock over a T-bone. You
recognize itin an instant-now that s hard core-butit's
notsoeasyto explain.
So what is hard core exactly? It's porn of course, it's porn),
and some strains of punk and metal and other genres vying
for extreme status, butit's more than a name. It's a credo, a
stance, a toughness and conviction that grows from the inside.
‘out. Our answer to the question begins on page 92, witha
collection of American badasses we admire not just for their
‘accomplishments, butfor their nerve and their willingness to
hockaloogie inthe faceof mainstream mediocrity. At atime
When too much of the worlds soft and unprincipled, these 21
individuals (and one kick-ass TV network) have the balls to
behardcore, whether its a squad leader who defended his
battalion by single-handedly storming an enemy stronghold,
aself-made Internet phenom like Tila Tequila, or a bunch of
motocross madmen (see above) who wokeup one day and
decidedto hurl themselves over a jumbo jet.
Buteveninanissue dedicated to hardness, we're always
SPENTHOUSECOR
CONFIDENCE AND COURA
ARD ILL SHOW
trying to make things easy for you. This month t's all about a
Penthouse centerfold that's perforated for tear-free removal, So
goahead: Rip it out. nai it to your office door. (We've added.
work-safe version on the flip side, should the human-resources.
folks come looking for workplace insensitivity.) Oh, and what
selt-respectinghard-core issue would be complete without
photographer Terry Richardson, whose wit and grit have come to
definea certain low-tech glamour? We're tickled pink to have him.
shooting our Pet of the Month, Sasha Grey. We think it's a picture.
worth getting firedover.
Enjoy Ote
MI-
Mark Healy
Editorin Chief.
Retail Price $100, Special Introductory Offer
ONLY *29**
Save 70*on Premium
Handmade Cigars
The Thompson Powerhouse Sixteen
includes Macanudo, A. Fuente,
Partagas, La Gloria, C.A.0., & more...
Here's your chance to savor 16 exquisitely crafted, hand-
rolled cigars from some of the most elite cigar makers in
existence. In addition to the legends mentioned above you'll
also find Padron, Gurkha and more in the Thompson
Powerhouse Sixteen. This amazing collection of premium
cigars has an unbelievable introductory price of just $29.95!
For over 90 years Thompson Cigar has been offering cigar
aficionados premium quality, handmade cigars at incredibly
low prices. Cigars aren't just our business; they've been our
passion for almost a century!
Don't miss this opportunity to indulge in 16 incredible
smokes, each a legend in its own right. Call 1-800-605-4451
or visit us online at www.powerhouseoffer.com/T7396 for
this amazing low price. Supplies are limited, so order yours
today! Only one order per customer please.
www.powerhouseoffer.com/T7396
(You must enter complete web address for special offer)
Get your Powerhouse 16 Sampler now!
One each of 16 top-notch brands for ONLY $29.95 + $4.95
shipping (#988159). (All shipments to AK, HI, Guam, Virgin Islands
and Puerto Rico must go priority mail - add an additional $10.00. Florida
residents add 6% sales tax + appropriate county tax). We cannot ship
tobacco products to Maine. Remittance of any taxes on orders shipped to
а location outside of Florida is the responsibility of the purchaser. In the
event we are out of a Premium brand, Thompson reserves the right to
‘substitute another premium brand cigar, of equal or greater value, in it's
place. All written orders MUST include your signature and date of birth.
OFFER EXPIRES 8/31/07 Dept. T7396
NOT AVAILABLE TO MINORS Product #988159
AND GOOD ONLY IN THE USA тїї One Per Customer
19157 America's Oldest Mail Order
Cigar Company, Est 1915
THOMPSON) Fo Boasin
WSCOLINCZA Tempe FL 5635322
had manipulated meinto screwing
herataconcert,ina park, on a public
beach, and on a balcony in broad day-
light-and we hadn't been caught, yet.
She hada way of getting me so tuned
upthatbeforel knew it,| was fucking
herina high-risklocation.Ritaloved
getting off onthedanger ofit.
‘Sex with Rita under normal cir-
cumstances wasakintoa religious
experience. Ididnt need the fear of
getting caught toput me over the
top, but what Rita wants, Rita
gets—and this time was no exception,
She had mesoworkedup that she
knew couldntsaynoonce she was
straddling my lap, with her irresistible
pussy poised over my cock Rita's
panties had performeda vanishing
actandher skirt fanned out over my
lap. forminga convenient screen,
Rita gripped thetop of my seat
and slowly lowered herself down
onto my cock. Just being inside her
tight snatch was almostenoughto
make me come.!grippedher hips to
hold hersteady andtriednot to think
about whether the conductor had
already done his walk-through. But
Rita, stillholding on to the back of
] my seat, began raisingand lowering
herhipsand grinding against me ina
circular motion that had me thinking,
Fuckit! so started pumpinginto.
hec I slid my hands under her sweater
again, cupping her breasts as fucked.
Along
iaandiwereheadinghomoat | around.Satisfiedthat there was her Rita was now riding my cock as
В" een hard at she coud and moaning lod
of-actriend's party.lonly went — few passengersinthecor.let Rita enough tobeheard over the train's
alongbecawseitadid?twanttogo unzipmypants. engine Not only was the noise level
solo Rite’snot realy my girlfriend "Suckmeoff,ita”Imoaned, becominga factor but any hearing-
we just use each other for great buddy butshe just teased me with fleeting impaired passenger who hadnt slept
sex.Theproblemisthatshe'salways licks while glancing up to gauge my through this sexualara could surely
Onthelookoutforsomenewwayto — reaction.Iwasgoingcrazy. Come seoRita's head of biue-spiked hair
ratchetup her sex f on Rita” pleaded, butshejustkept bobbing upand down.
Ritamadehermoveasweheaded — teaing.- Turedon-butonthe verge of
sastonthelongisiandRailRoad We — lamnotasefishiout. Once we panic sad between clenched
practically had the car to ourselves, — wereoffthetrain. Iwas certainly teeth, "Rita, you'd better be ready
andifihadwtdonethatlastshotof wiling to goto her place—or mine— because rm done!" Аз! erupted. ту
Jack Daniels, might have realized and return the favor by eating her out hot come surged into!
Iwas being setup, Weweresttng andthenbangingheruntiishe cried ‘out herown orgasm, milking my cock
inthebackofthelastcarwhenRita out with pleasure again and again. with her wel-trainedmuscles. Out of
startednuzzinamyneck Iwasupfor їйї didn't ike the des of getting breath and out of tricks Rta slid off
foolngaroundaliti,sowestarted busted bythecopsand being led mejust as we pulled into the station I
kissing and fseingeschotherup.l! — awayinhandcuffs fekexhaustedandrelieved that had
movedmyhandunderRitassweater Sofarwe'dbeendamnlucky Rita survivedyet another of Rita's wild
апана found their way tomy cock, TES +L IC Fides. Nameandadaress withheld
Inrotinetiadanartonandste | | DIDN'T NEED THE More letters on page145
intevenunzipped my pa
Twasreaiveniovngtnenancioo, | FEAR OF GETTING “Fer nt so care and adn:
butsooniwasthinkingaboutritas — CAUGHT TO PUT колма aer emy character
mind-blowing hummers.fwe were es tectengectorpbicatonporpce.
discreet nooneelseinthecarhad МЕ OVER THE TOP, Ягез become the property o1 Petrus
toknow Unfortunately ааа BUT WHAT RITA serciterstloron mins pmolcomor
alwaysrememberthe meaning of Pannou tanorarpapt-2Pena Piza Sune
theworddiscreet.tauicxiyioed WANTS, RITA GETS. Tos mon Yor NOEL
TOPENTHOUSECOM
ADVERTISEMENT
SEX: HOW MO
Dear Siffanie,
For the past year, I've been having some
confidence issues. H's really dragging me and my
relationship with my wife down. wanted to ry
some pills 1 heard about but 1 found out they can
take 3 or more months to work. In your judgment,
does anything work faster or beter?
Jason M.
Manhattan Beach, CA
Well Jason,
The verdic is in and I just happen о have
the perfect answer to boost you and your
confidence, while giving your wife the ime
of her life ... repeatedly!
For months my fiancé was feeling the exact same
way you were and then, one night, we had the most
phenomenal sex, EVER. I had never seen him more
excited and powerful He took control right from
the start and the feelings we shared together were
READER'S NOTE
Dx. Storie Seaver PSY D ix an өреп Pe area
э сету as ASG aar
nd scromptahes pubic spear, эе nas кале
Tar ora docade Dx бат wa о
ars eed р етеш аста e
s
Improve.
totally mind-blowing. And, here's the best part,
every time since that night, be just keeps geting
better and better. It's amazing! | can't get enough
of him now
Finally, the other day, my cunosity took over
T had to know what brought about this drastic
change. So, 1 asked him. To my shock, he handed
believe this
him feel
И Maxodern. 1 just c
Maxoderm was actually
fuller, harder, and way more vigorou
research and w
surprised by what
Savino, M.D, FACS. it's the
fast acting topical lotion designed to
pos erection quality and the fe
ess, while intensifying our sensation for the
ultimate sexual experience. Don't be fooled by
the companies selling those "miracle" sex pills
claiming o grow your erection 3 - 4 inches. AS
little as $% of the pill actually makes it into your
system. To my intimate knowledge, Maxoderm's
targeted delivery system effectively reaches the
desired ака directly upon application, maximizing
Increase. ENJOY.
sorption, resulting in a performance to be proud of
cach and ev I'ma huge (and grateful) fun of
Maxoderm. And trust me, 1 ¿now my fiancé is too!
Maxoderm 15 Instant Male Enhancement.
You can check out Maxoderm by calling
920-5395 or going to
" д. 1 know they offer
RISK FREE TRIALS.
ven gi
with your phone
I, Maxoderm is
or web order. Oh and best of
backed by a 90 Day Money
You cant bent that!
Delightfully Yours,
TE PENTHOUSE
READER INFORMATION
TOOROERASUBSCRPTION-Fororeyr(
rano ckeseserdaU S sentar creckor
Torey order к гёк» келгендеп
Fermo PO Boxa2023, Pam Cont FL SIME
(235 Too ty car al BOO-289 rm.
‘US From Coradacreavhere newer cal
386-447 636 К cutomerseric) tnter,
Bar amenet aen tma Ima Monday
Fr rr Ban to om on weekends
Cloves
тозо мЕА SUBSCRIPTION PROBLEM Wt
town PO Bou 420255 Pulm Coat RL
TQ GI CO 209756 em te US o 386-
447630 гий ontomerservcehomoutude
US ноуъәтб»иютиуыутовкдиу, 9an
1070 weekends (stem Standard Time) Селе
тоу Voumay lso e ratus m Perthoutecom.
yg ve tome юман Саво
escri
pots
TOCAANGE YOUR ADORESS Матаева
weeks chance nat angeles (lo
Arno PO Box430235 Pam Cows А 32142-
GISStoersumthetidherywlnctbortmucted
"Besutondudeyou aas elm your пен адата
жагоо.
TO RENEW ASUBSCRPTON We must vcn
neevsinnrartwworerthsbontheenton
yon ment ceo tut you ге
min asun Велена поин tr ares!
ortta beore rotons wedurto onre "you
meneubeloreyourcumrtsuecrétioneqims he
Manera ilb азе! улу cunnt
К УА
FvoupanroRra SUBSCRIPTIONDUTARESTIU.
TINO DLLED- your coder ton
redo этаж bi WERA ou wege.
mesblfufovepaidasibirgrenbiiorthun
dz esabaforgetinganctherbl sedproofof
payrert sioro wi you bato Peru PO Box.
CORA 7420215
Аква Guabo thema
noch su ме л watata or cml BBS ST:
SAO Vous spec heise mci yag. Feb
1996) caer accurate bnc
oryonsuchderticatonasariory Vi AOS
iet matet ortrepeturwon the cowe
ARTCLEREPRINTS Torrents caries
taPpemisontoghetocopycrmcaeacony
opas лса сато 702600 eden
(605 Urashoroedeproduciond ary porionct
Pertrovseten constats cooynigttirtnngoment
— wos
petuo ranhcumcom.
c
A Totally New Experience.
Enter a Penthouse Lounge and be surrounded by
а sensual ambiance accented with music that seduces and soothes.
The sophisticated bar scene is ideal for meeting old friends ...
or arrive alone and make new ones. Enjoy superb food and an extensive.
wine list in the dining room.
The Penthouse Lounge is the place to see and be seen. In fact,
you never know who you'll see nearby. Intimate seating for 2 or more is offered.
VIP memberships and services are also available.
iH
The Magazine. The Life. 7 The Style.
Atlanta - Philadelphia
www.penthousecl
“As a professional restorer of antique
and classic watches for major museums,
1 recently reviewed the movement and
Individual parts of the Stauer Noire
watch. The assembly and the
precision of the mechanical
movement are excellent,"
—George Thom:
Towson Watch Company
n the early 1930s, watch manufacturers took a clue
from Henry Ford's favorite quote concerning his historians: ate ng
automobiles, “You can have any color as long as it is television show. We bayi: ao kaspi a
black.” Black dialed watches became the rage especially to keep you in the black...only 3 saco QUAS a
with pilots and race drivers, Of course, since the multi- into the back of your black limousine, savor sine ra
functional black dial watch went well with a black tasting black coffee and look at your wrist knowing that
tuxedo, this adventurer’ timepiece easily moved from the you have some great time on your hands.
airplane hangar to dancing at the nightclub. Now, Stauer
brings back the “Noire”, a design based on an elegant
timepiece built in 1936. The rare black dialed, complex
automatics from the 19305 have recently hit new heights
at auction. One was sold for in excess of $600,000.
We thought that you might like to have an affordable
version that will be much more accurate than the original.
An offer that will make you dig out your old tux. The
movement of the Stauer Noire wrist watch carries an
‘extended two year Warranty, But first enjoy this handsome
vintage timepiece risk-free for 30 days for the extraordi-
nary price of only 3 payments of $33. If you are not
thrilled with the quality and rare design, simply send it
back for a full refund of the purchase price,
Basic black with a twist. Not only are the dial, hands
and face vintage, but we used a 27-jeweled automatic Exclusive Offer—Not Available in Stores
movement. This is the kind of engineering desired by fine Cul! now s take advantage of ths limited offer
watch collectors worldwide. But since we design this
classic movement on state of the art computer-controlled 55846 Noire Watch—$99 or 3 payments of $33 «sii
Swiss built machines, the accuracy is excellent. Three -952-
ыш с шо ы 300-9524473
the watch comes with an exhibition back so you can see | Promotional Code NWT153-02
the jewels and observe the intricate rotor activate the Please mention this code when you call.
mainspring, balance wheel and escapement. The crocodile To order by mail please call or dousils
embossed leather band is adjustable from 6 1/2" to 9°, еЗ a
fitting almost any wrist. And thescrew-down crown keeps SAUCY замаа" о
the watch water resistant to 5atms. The Stauer Моне was Pr exe www Stauer.com
eez
| But you Wet badass, too, For starters, Jose the rubber nipples and the matching jumpsuits.
THELINEUP.
X DE 4 Sounds
FusiTV=theweridsmest Slash Fabolous. ondreviews
adventurous spots chanel Meriva Mansonandine.
Plssanewnghtleague | Wre Sirip
-22 00 — 230 ortek
‘Block Snake Moon Breach | Fraly.the Transformers
Rescue Me andmóre | video game!
|
9
-
{costume Raf Simons and Andy
ээлеп эла len
[he seed oli
Punisher
THE PUNISHER THOMAS JANE)
The getup h your bask back
reta tough guy ok.
жите depresivo.
latas тареоре stuck
tenth renen cost, gigantic
tomatic weapon Butwrat
realy leds here isie TaN,
Bing бүздө cni and
ery muchto тарон оће
Inthe Marelpantheon
Here comes death bast and
Inexorible witha vengeence.
that's never more true than ean М
= when you're Superman. ye
Whether it's the iconic look of ptati
Captain America the demonic style
о! Nightcrawler, or the bodacious
hooker chic of Wonder Woman, the
perfect costumeisas essential to
( > lothesmake the man—and
Mystique.
REBECCAROMUN)
Notesuperhero per se,
Батуга is іно
how to conbrets Uie the
ver Surfer hes onsena
rae, wäh ner naughty bin
coveredby nage patches ot
leathery scales Puta hande
The bogreenove oe purreottheseason Tela | car take us over cautions Aut
cortstoramosctyandthe || incheryred,theeyeslemon Hay ot Poer Parkers sartoria!
унію the atte Hating tum tothe cari ide instr
feenoratobenze | andnpremeiysend-w. Man 3 "lor you owl, t
iwcughsersemtenes | Mysiaueiashepeahier | cantunyouinoscmething
Sertsandwehesrmnie | ametamorphechamalon | ugly Are youtidóng?Back
acomback тэу | Whatsmoreinthecome | ethene back Spidey,
Barmer slangeg out n uie.
поза good? nthe tir
fos abi funturinghiemis
with asymmebicbungsand
Christian
Soldier
Holy Herzog, Batman! Christian Bale stretches
in anew direction as a real-life Vietnam War POW.
RESCUE DAWN
Christian Bale, Steve Zahn
Director: Werner Herzog.
Given thatHerzog onceconvinced
hundreds of South American
Indians todrag a ship over a
mountain, made a film withan
‘entire castof midgets, andtailod
agrizzly-obsessed madman till
sald madman was killed by a bear,
his latest fim is surprisingly
conventional. Rescue Dawn is
the dramatization of Little Dieter
Needs to Fly, Herzog's 1997
documentary about a Navy pilot
who was shot down over Laos on
hisfirst mission inthe Vietnam
War Dieter Dengler was captured,
tortured, andinterned for months
inavicious POW camp that he finally
‘escaped, only to face theinhospitable
‘elements of the Laotian jungle
for weeks before being rescued
Though thisisa well-crafted
and uplifting story about indomitable
spirit, its steady, overly methodical
pacingkeepsit from reaching
thatintense, sometimes shocking,
crescendo that Herzog fans expect.
That may be aninherent fawof true-
[E
lite survival stories, because no matter
howamazed youll be by how Dengler
survives, you won't be surprised
that he does. But Bale delivers an
Unflinchingly optimistic portrayal,
and Zahnturnsinagreat, understated
performanceas Dengler's pessimistic
foi. Michael Immerman
Seven Strange Facts About
WemerHerzog — surrensron were fing 1977 Аран
Theessentialtruth (sortof)about | same Tre Wrath of od кимки
эленер О өт
ree antsshoud pls into ying
Кы тч. gobble up Nis balls
II penetrate his asshole, and hest
astcaugitonfreandwes © бершш
Ns guts!” Thetwomadelour
runowerbyacecbtemerged NT eos
unharmed. Herzog vowedto mom Пти оде?
Giveitoacactuspatcntthe | HESNOTABOVE
stofttemsurvwedtüming ^ BENDINGTHELAW.
Waheutinuy When they dia, Asafiedolngfimmekerinte
Pesis,gomginhendtint S960 Herzog solea 35-mm
men trom the munien Fim
an Schoolandusedittomakehis
Hero at his hoe whe
taking wittheausienceat онанд о жеси,
treGatesofHesenpreniem. _Junskinhenthesctrtnadts
According to legend Herzog
Pese te wak feted South
American Jango ner ey
LIVEFREEORDIEHARD.
Bruce Willis Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant. Director: Len Wiseman
om McClane ntrestya Hass oid schooi-styio.nciuding
Thowghitsapopcommovi
arca porce van toa com | Wisemon (Underwori uses
futerhachar(Long)tisra ону igniting tocroate
ostuocotoueth нуге caustrpotiemood
омок ории онин И А
Inecnneryannecuney авон Antdontespectto
oreosedasutert one A
cyber terrorist Onyphon
Jaime Pressly, Devon Aoki, Natassia Malthe
Director CoreyYuon ÓN
Pat nomena ovale рымен sota (enon EV)
Nesortneedtatnawam | enduemeunspnakabiy ber
он. a nyoso. eres Sree умер we hare
ermovektasedonthe тетен confidence tht
menararavideagamı/ | паана Nong Kong econ
Masturbation aid Derdor | coordinator Yen, capable -
LCENSETOWED
Ava ana tunen ма typical, | of putting together o he
daradet-bipameen | cfahat-nakeatignticene || | Robin Williams, Mandy Moore,
fomuds:colorulcontumes, | Jogathan stem, JohnKrasinski Director: Ken Kwapis
n mis romantic comedy.
Pastor (Wilma) given an
|abucuefanreternces and
bouncing boobs And we
Uresaven erra cun tert Mandy Hoereprovedon
Ladyserhehebedubeqdn анун Негода ролде sne has звене
uksa hibeandomanbyesiper heras llamo about мен
Causa cs Wen Phoenis dus teow nL A anne expected, sa we
Türmediethankhim.Merios Meuvuooed i ort daininga Povengnhopes Andor couse
атна. catalogi hapactathent rim Ne теда good ante Nova
WESWASSANGGAGGED tobera serious nirea. A
In1992, Herzogtokdthe. uA SET EVANALMIGHTY
Kuwaltigovemmenthe wanted He ota onetime assistant, ‘Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman, Lauren Graham.
leshootafimertolingthe _ EmolMor, trat Mor Director: Tom Shadyac
hercismotthe county’s — — evermadeamoriehedeat estaño cout get Jen [temlyandtrendsby busting
iweifefiere When Meshoe Aner Monts ni [cameytoraseguetogce | an ces they can dothat rs
aéhortiesdcoreredhisreal Gateso Heaven he ist Алу sotey гараа | an integral сато modern-day
motw-a-documentan" that Dank Meme Neat (Coreanchormanand Free. етет Метеор
wana sein twit that showed [mars diety toan esting sore | жите quality Care neanty amid
maladisoftortun- Herzog (Sotamadem-anyioah — [metemay frenclypabum—
‘wae expel hom tha emirate na sts дарда lanta ice олноо
lelevision
Extreme sports are finally ready
topush the big three off their lucrative ==
pedestal. And thanks to Fuel TV, the
revolution will be televised. |
T M~
" |
lifelong surfer and action- features skateboarding в “anti-star”
sports-industry vet, got tired Laban Pheidias (above right, who
of seeing great moments in surfing, bearsa resemblance to Charles Man-
skateboarding, and wakeboarding, son) and Ted Newsome, Los Angeles
ignored by sports outlets. Luckily, skater and respected skateboard
the TV insider was ina position todo photographer (above left). Newsome
somethingaboutit. The result is Fuel describes Misfits as "a roller coaster
туа cable channel that's dedicated ‘of chaos that hasnoage or height
tosports coverage without baseball requirements” Ina typical show, they
basketball football, or hockey. roll out completely off-the-wall skits
Its cornerstone series since 2005 is and skateboard-related mayhem. In
The Daily Habit, akind of TRL-meets- ‘one segment, skater Nate Sherwood
‘SportsCenter roundup featuring attempts a highly technical flip trick
action-sports stars, musicians, and inthe middieof a lake on asick
celebrity guests. Penthouse paid Wakeboard ramp. He failsover and
avisitto the Daly Habit setin Los over-and over —but finally sticks it.
Angeles a few months agoand could Inlast season's Misfits finale, Kiefer
not have comeona better day: The Sutherland poppedinasaspecial
UK. band Art Brut was playing, and ‘questandinsisted that the network
pro surfers Lisa Andersen and Kassia suits had hired him as the new boss
Meador were having their breasts ‘and mandated thatheappear ineach
úcastinplasteron-setto benefit the ‘and every part of the show. "Every.
action-sports charitable organization single segment?” asked Pheidias.
Boarding for Breast Cancer (BABC).
ly tos Pet Paret Newsome describes
Sons actes зп юте aaay Misfits as a “roller coaster
S 'everalyoars ago, C. J. Olivares, ‘One Fuel series, American Misfits
Top left кине Sutherland preps
takshowwheretheyputboadersin. | Of Chaos that has no age Rrra
the back parking lotand force them to Jay sankofthe West Beach Games
doa kickturnona quarter pipe.” or height requirements.” Put off tne Kol Death
By Jack Spilberg
The Good Fight
Inthis comer: the IFL, the first team-based mixed-martial-arts
league—and they're trying to show the UFC how it's done.
Who's the toughest guy on the because now the fighter | among thetroops,
planet? The year-old Intemational can think, Hey, one You'd be surprised how
FightLeagueis waging a battle minuteless-/canthrow | many troopsin Iraq
to find out. We asked Bas Rutten, outway more energy. | are training at it. When
an award-winning fighter and IFL they come back it's
What makes an IFL
Battleground cohost, what makes notabig step. It's like,
mined-martialartssosick f9Mterso hard core? yey rvebeento raq,
ee what's going to hurt me
hat'sthe — boxing judo,
here?" People say MMA
isatoughsport--no,
it'sthose guys over
difference wrestling, andtae
between — kwondo.lenjoyit
thelFLandtheUFC? —_whenamixed-martia нуруну
IFLfightingisinaring _artsfighter knocks
9 9 Raegan Johnson
instead ofa cage. someone out witha =
which makes for better — straight punchtothe
technique Also,you face.andthen witha
canseebetterbecause — kicktothe head, and |
heresmofenceinthe — thenhitshiminthe =
way Andwetockone — body and then uses, >
minute offeachround _ lke,aleglockanda
choke-truly showcases
what he cando.
Domany ofthe
fighters come from
the armed services?
MMA is very popular
ep; replied a perfectly deadpan NEP ГАРЕТ, >
Sutherland Tensions escalated unti A fighter knocks someone out
елкасига whan R waa uvae with a punch to the face and a kick
show by tying up the old boss inthe to the head, then hits the body.
supply closet Cleary, there was only
‘one way to settle things: with an over-
the-top martial-arts battle, complete
witha cheesy kung fu-moviesound-
trackandblue electric currents
shooting from Sutherland's fingers.
latest offering is 808, an action
dramaabouta group of contentious
surfers called the Walfpak in Oahu
Hawaii. e network gota welcome
assist from recent landmark events
including skateboarder Danny
Way's 29-ookfreefallofftho
Fender Stratocaster guitar stop the
Vegas HardRock. then-19-year-old
snowboarder Shaun White'sstar
turn atthe 2006 WinterObmpics,
and freestyle-motocross maniac
Travis Pastrana's astounding double
backfipat X Games XII Such epic
moments andthe growing legion
‘ot hungry, young action-sports
amateurs and professionals now
have anetworkdevotedtoevery
bone-breaking attempt and every
record-breaking triumph ote
If we found a scantily
clad nympho on the side
of the road, we'd want to
chain her up, too.
rprisingly soulful a
an BF.
Jackson embodies the
Southern bluesman, and
Ricci is as raw as a live
wire ina career-defining
performance.
BREACH
Chris Cooper,
Ryan Phillippe
Inthis post-9/11world,
anFBlagent selling
secretstothe KGB
seems oddly quaint.
Still, Robert Hanssen's
treason was the most
damaging intelligence
breach in American
history. The always
Impressive Cooper
inhabits Hanssen with
aquiet creepiness, and
Phillippe almost mea-
sures upas the unlucky
soul who has todouble-
cross the double agent.
NORBIT
Eddie Murphy,
Thandie Newton
Forget the Oscar bait
and the family-friendly
dreck. Eddie Murphy,
master ofthemulti-
character tum, plays
theunassuming title
character—not tomen-
tlona Chinese guy anda
nasty fat chick-and he's
just the way you like him:
unapologetically unsub-
tleandnotat all worried
about insulting people.
‘Norbit doesn't measure
up toMurphy's eighties
hits, but Paramount is
alsoreleasing new edi-
tions of Trading Places
and Coming to America.
GHOSTRIDER
Nicolas Cage,
Eva Mendes
This wasn't the best
comics adaptation,
but the making-of
bonuses can be worth
watching when there
arethis many special
effects. The two-disc
extended edition
includes three behind-
the-scenes featurettes,
plus one onthe comic's
40-year history. Italso
boasts 15 minutes of
new footage. We'll let
you decide whether or
not that'sagood thing.
By Barbara Rice Thompson
THE HENRY
ROLLINS SHOW
Season One
eur torne angry you
уде, interviews with Dy
‘Stone. Or pickup Uncut From
VC med during oli
spoken wonttour
DEADWOOD
Season Three
HBO arty, profanity inden
‘wert went out n sty
Wie you wan tor tna two
ecoming movies that wit
"——
per
RESCUEME
Season Three.
In our opinion, Px lethe
tome and stoepe mitn
very womanhe canna
Тели яту iry curtavorte
ee page 94) тпа fourdic
setincudes season tour
featurettes including one.
aleve sî younot—
Sonate me om Place
So much drama.
t was interesting to be in the center
of somebody else's band bullshit,
butat the same time itwas really
uncomfortable As muchas we loved
being at the Rock'n’ RollHallof Fame
andhanging out andal that kind of
shit.theplaying part came and went.
‘was bittersweet. Ittaughtme that
iflamever faced with that honor for
ту previous band, Iwantto get allmy
He survived one of the most volatile bands of all time, Бие stuft aside so wecanalistand
resurrected Scott Welland's career, and just got out of rehab. We tnt asaduhsandacceptt
caught up with the veteran rocker-guitarist as he waited Nina honor youknow
for the release of Velvet Revolver's new Libertad. GunsN' Roses will be eligible for
‘ourecently finished
rehab. Do fans still come
backstage expecting to
де! drunk with you?
Fans canbe pretty nuts aftera show.
avoid that whole scene. Maybe that
could happen atthe hotel bar, but
lusuallytriednot to accept drinks
from fans. When they buy youa drink.
itturns into 80 drinks and you have
totalkto this person fortherest of
the night. The ultimate backstage or
hotel-bar environment is when two
really amazing-looking women ar
buying you drinks and you'renot
married and you're not onthe wagon,
That'sthebeginning of a pretty good
night. Ive been there a few times.
її hard to find young bands to
bring out on the road?
Wehave really hit that point now.
‘Queens of the Stone Age and Dave
Groh's FooFightersarestillthe
coolest bands that have come out
inthe last ten years or so. The whol
rock'n'roll spirit got really diluted.
‘When! was 15 or 16, backin 1980, I
thought the music scene sucked. IfI
were 15 or 16 now, I'd think, Fuck, this
isa wasteland. We're talking about
punkerockand hard-rock attitude
with good songs and the menacing
energy that weall have at Band 19. It's
not happening. That's why we doit.
Wete eternal teenagers.
For Libertad, Velvet Revolver initially
worked with producer Rick Rubin but
then stopped. Why?
Rick came to mind because he's
made amazing records. We had
somegreat conversations with
him—philosophical conversations
оп songwriting and whatthe band
wantedto achieve—but creatively,
we didnt get anywhere He'salso
producing three or four different.
artists at the same time It's like dating
achick who's fucking acouple of
other guys. You dont feel that special
commitment that makes you feel this
was somebody for the long haul.
How would Libertad have been.
different if you'd stuck with Rubin?
It wouldn't be out any time soon.
laughs]. For him, t's more about
ting it al happen. Write the best
song, don't pushit.itl come outin ten
yearsandit'llbe amazing. can't do
that. I'd shoot myself.
In March, Velvet Revolver
performed during Van Halen's
Induction into the Rock'n'Roll Hall
‘of Fame, but only Sammy Hagar and
Michael Anthony showed up from
Van Halen. What happened?
You'rethe firstto get me to
talk about that. was honored to
beasked toinduct them. Then we
were toldthey weren't going to
bethere and the organizers wanted to
know if we could play, It was
like, "Ugh" like Van Halen, but this
isn'ta Van Halen-style band. We
picked a song that wethought
represented us wellenough for us
tobe ableto playit without looking
corny. Then, asit got closer to the
gig.ali hell broke loose with David
Lee Roth and the guys wanting
tocomeup and perform with us
and doa different song. Sammy was
‘great throughout, but David was
‘caught up ina whirlwind between
the Rock'n'Roll HallofFameand his
‘own wants and needs. Then we
onlyhad a day to learn whatever
song we were gonna do Itgotso
aukwardin theend, and David didn't
show up atall at the last minute
because he was pissed off.
the Rock'n’ Roll Hall of Fame in five
years. Do you get tiredof talking
about them?
When we firststarted Velvet
Revolver, Duff [МсКадап] апа!
went out and did alittle press tour,
andi was bombarded with shit about
Guns N‘ Roses. was at the crux of my
issues with that band. It hit me at the
wrong time, so everything I had to say
was negative That wave lasted for a
while. But at this point, |don'tthink
there's alot to ask me. 'mpast the
negative shit.
How about this: Will Chinese
Democracy be released before the
‘end of the year?
‘Axi Rose probably hit the nail on the
head when he said itl be out when it's
‘out. thavenoidea when the release
dote is, butl'd keto hear what's been
‘on his mind allthis time.
Later this year you're releasing your
autobiography. What can we expect?
I'd been asked to do abook for along
time, but didn't feel comfortable. It
‘seemed like abookis something you
dowhen you're about tobe pushing
up daisies. Someone said, why dont
you write from when you were akid
towhen GunsN Roses spitupand
Velvet Revolverstarted? thought
that would be okay. started doing
itandtalking with the ghostwriter
and there's some funny shit. There's
alotofshitican't remember for, uh,
the obvious reasons—but what ican
remember is very entertaining.—
Jason Buhrmester
€——Q
"Whenlwas15
or16, back in
1980, | thought
the music
scene sucked.
Ifl were 15 or 16
now, I'd think,
Fuck. This isa
wasteland”
THE WHITESTRIPES
Icky Thump (Warner/Third Man)
Rock snobs, be warned: You might
hate this. The Detroit duo takes more
chances than ever. reaching beyond
thatlo-fî blues noise many have come
tolove. A few songs evoke the same
garage style, but there are plenty of
sonic risks. Their attempt to write
twosongsinthe vein of traditional
Scottish music—incorporating
bagpipes and yodeling—is fresh.
But other songs—likethe cover
of Patti Page's "Conquest." which
carries aheavy Spanish influence
and features a dueling trumpet and
root
uitar—seem contrived. Still we'd
rather see the Stripes take these kinds
of adventurous detours than keep.
driving the same highway. For those
who just want their tried-and-true
sound, check out the stellar stripped-
down tunes like" What Love s" and
Rag and Bone”.
Penthouse Pick: "300 MPH Torrential
Outpour Blues”
We'd rather
see the Stripes
take these kinds
of adventurous
detours than keep
driving the same
highway.
the Stone Age
‘QUEENS OF THE
STONE AGE
Era Vulgaris
(Onterscope)
After their last few
raucous efforts.
(and Josh Home's
‘unabashedly fun Eagles
lof Death Metal side
project), this album
is surprisingly safe
Homme's bandmate,
Nick Oliveri, left before
the last album, and
Mark Laneganis only
featured on one of
the record's songs.
We hope the writing
isn’t on the wall for
|QOTSA, but even the
ispaced-out soundand
high-wattage guest
performances couldn't
saveus from boredom,
em
FT
MARILYN MANSON
[Eat Me, Drink Me
(Interscope)
The shock-rock king
[comes toting an album
that shocks just slightly
[more than it rocks
[he record is gloomy
land romantic, but its.
missing the industrial-
Influenced hard-rock
tracks that made
Manson famous. His
[vocals are the primary
focus, and while we
appreciate his attempt
ko write raw, emotional
Imusic, we think his
[controversialand
theatricalworkis better,
BIGARICH
Between Raising Hell
land Amazing Grace
(Warner Bros. Nashville)
Is the party over
for Big & Rich? The
record's first haitis
heavy on spirituality
and sentimental love
(their wedding-themed
ostin This Moment
ispoisedto become
the next "Butterfly
Kisses"). Thankfully,
they hint at thelr wild
side on the second half,
which kicks off with
the up-tempo driving.
song "Radio? The
album's unexpected
|guests—John Legend
апа Wyclef Jean—add
|ahip dimension to the
record, but we kind
lof wish they hadn't.
covered AC/DC's "You
Shook Me All Night
Long.” From them, it
justain‘trisht,
TOBY KEITH
Big Dog Daddy
(Show Dog Nashville)
Finally Keith seems
тоге interested in mak
ing bar buddies than
political enemies. The
albumis split between
contemplative sonos
like "Love Me If You
Can” and upbeat romps
through the lives of his
characters, including
ıa maintenance man
pining for a wealthy
woman and alovelorn
[guy "getting his drink
jon.” But Keith really пайы
itonthetoe-tapping
title track. Well besing-
ingitall summesiona,
Synthesizer masters find away to make
post-punkeven weirder
VONSÜDENFED.
Tromatic Reflexxions
Electronic-music.
junkies have been.
down with Mouse.
on Mars for years. But
now, the duois taking
itshypnotic-synth
styleastep further by
inviting the Fall's post-
punk founder, Mark E.
‘Smith, tofronta side
project, Von Südenfed..
‘Though Smith hasbeen
out ofthe limelight for
awhile, the singer's
involvement with the
pair has really made
Indie bloggers take
ByRébecca Swanner,
moticeoftheirdebut, Overlays their beloved
TromaticReflexxions. drum machinesand
опі, the band. keyboards with Smith's.
slurred British accent.
The result:ideal music.
for guys with perfect
haircuts and a penchant
for glow sticks,
OPERATOR
Soulcrusher (Atlantic)
If you're still longing for | male Johnny Strong, who
the days when modem- | evokes Chris Cornell.
rock radio was clogged charismatic vocals and
with Soundgardenand | hard-rock bravado.
Alicein Chains, you'll | Thealbumisbuilt ikea
thankthegrungegods [generic rock record—a
forthisdebut album. | noodling guitarsolo
lOperatorisled byalpha. | here, a heartfelt rock
ballad there but it's also
brazen and loud, with
choruses that explode
like M-805,
-
TOMAHAWK
“Anonymous (Ipecac)
Leave itto Faith
No More's Mike
Patton to push the
hard-rock envelope
further than you
thought possible. On
(anonymous, he and
hisnew band reworked
Native American
[songs fromthe early
twentieth century,
laying guitarsand
keyboards over
ancestral percussion,
samples of falling water,
land plaintive chanting.
its idealandunique
background musicuntil
you reach “Sun Danos
which atone point
sounds like a harder
‘version ofthe Hives,
A
SOUNDS
What key pieces should
= b “yaa cart
aoolous Saee
рН
en
Fabolous isn't just arapper—he's also a What youhaveon. You don't want to
skilled shopper. And he promises that "eara sombrero witha suit.
skills come with some amazing benefits. Dothe ladies appreciate your
ey
еза
Miren а
ee een
нотка
ede des
‘oes shopping
inspire your style?
Themoreyou see, the more
youknow. can look real hood one
дау and I can look rock another day,
because I'veseenallof those aspects
‘and respect the fashion that comes theytryonjeans. liketo see giris try
witheach of thoselooks. оп jeans because! can tell them if they
look goodor not.
How shoulda guy develop his look?
Alotof dudes get their confidence Have you ever, um, helped out a Penthouse gets a
from whattheyre wearing ts Girl inthe dressing room? glimpse of the beat master
about comfort for me. I think if Ihave. helped out a girl and it led to ashereadieshis first solo
everybody found their comfort her helping me out. record infive years,
zone thoy'ateeifiy. Have you ever spent way more S ue
thenyouwanted to? Why do your own thing now?
Areyou kidding me? | dothat renal оромун
every day. just bring stacks of Бутанол
money outside and don'tknow mienne
Where disappears тше rms
I therea particular shopping trip ao more anus Get
that sticks out in your mind? or nard abin at Ronde
Iwas going to this place togeta belt E promowasorg orou on
atum inka lot people
and! saw a leather aviator jacket. It
was white and had a gray fur collar. 1
ended up buying twoor three leather aoo eti ftu
jacketsonthe spot went togeta $50 T
Баала ttumned into a$2 500 belt ww
Fabolous has launched his own it tv wor tn Dai wa
ine Rich Yang. Check tout at terre
RichYungsSocietycom, Minn ayas egin to
reservar ao
“A lot of dudes get ный
their confidence Fete icem
from whatthey're r registering My fist aum,
wearing. | think if sabia ден,
everybody found
their comfort zone,
they d feel fly"
snot packedtothegll wit
acs Ete: оминро ња Сосы, И
“1 RANINTOHER AT COMPUTER CAMP / WAS 1984, NOT SURE /I HAD MY COMMODORE 64 / shows upon one track and
HAD TO SCORE.” жении опрема
Sammy
EA
FEL UNES
Boy U A Dronk: Fain
Dor! Mater -Aon à
op lock & Drop: Huy metri
I ed бо Hard Bone Ths verit
The Woy im Baby Boy. мал
Ол My Sytem: Bow Wow ono
Sind Rl lavigne мышта
Diamonds -oboku wm
lon -U Mana n
Don oy тый Te û Нево metro
Y
` ж L
J 4 oF a 210735)
/ | ' WALLPAPERS
vrl A
SCREENSAVERS =
(heck out Jamstrs voice
order ino TOLL FREE for all
waliza3| 75555
or email: аан ‚com
SUPPORTEI IERS:
Es
next best supported content is delivered. Normal messaging & data charges apply Carrier Gata plan required. To cancel your plan text “stopxx!” to 75555.
Need help? E-mail to info@jamster.com or call 866-856-JAMS.
Transformers
The Game
Activision (Xbox 360, PS3, Wii,
PS2, PC, PSP, DS)
d
hereal fun of playing with
T Transformers was smacking
the hell out of the good-guy
Autobots with those evil Decepticon
figures. Get ready todo it again. The
robots in disguise arestillat war, and
theyve cometo earthtoretrieve
AllSpark, the cube that houses their
souls. Youcan play oneither side as
‘one of nine robots, and the battles
which featurea variety of melee and
counterattack movesare heavy on
destruction
‘Your enemies shatter into pieces
liethe Stormtroopers from Lego Star
Wars, which makes less sense with
robots than with Legos butthe games
are from the same design team. The
coolest aspect isthatyoucan switch
between vehicle and robot formson
the fly. And if you're playing on the Wi
OrPS3, you can use the gyroscopic
controllers to maneuver your Camaro,
‘semi, or stealth bomber.
Intheend,it'sallaboutthe imac-
ticbattle, and you get just what you've
been hoping for: Optimus Primetak-
ing on his biggest rival, Decepticon
menace Megatron-the perfectfinale
for thiseighties flashback
Woretmousseon
ByRebecca Swanner
" | LLSTEEIES EXPLAINED. |
TENCHUZ WHY DIDTHE ATARI
(Microsoft) Xbox 360 2600 HAVEWOOD
a PANELING?
Newtitiesinthetwo Microsoft recently.
biggest ninja franchises released afaux-wood-
make thisthesummer paneling faceplate
of head-to-toe black. for the 360 and Atari
While you're waiting launched the wood-
for Ninja Gaiden. inspired Flashback 2.0,
Sigma tohitstores, = so webeganto wonder
Check outthis eighth What's the deal with
Qameinthe stealth- fake wood? Itali started
action series starring with the Atari2600, but
a samurai-sword- why? Weasked Curt
wielding assassin. It's Vendel,a longtime Atari
inthe kills, not the roof > ‘employee and designer
hopping, where the Ofthe AtariFlashback,
gameshines, and that's tofind out what inspired
justasitshouldbe. ithe wacky trend,
Bloody stabbings in
theback? Check. Brutal
beheadings? Check But
whatmakes the game
even betterisco-op
mode, when youand an
onlinebuddy can slay
together. Two swords
arebetterthanone,
introducing electronics
jntothe home in1977,
‘especially something
las groundbreaking as
videogames, meant
that the devices needed
to match manyhome
|decors of the era. The
faux-wood panel onthe
front of theconsole was.
togiveitanaccent of
wood without having
touse real wood, which
was very common in
stereo equipment; and,
if yourecall the older
¡console TVs came in
large woodcabinets,
This appealed tothe
warm and comforting
allure of natural wood
‘orain that was the style
inthe seventies for living)
rooms and rec rooms.
от iar
> In1982the woodgrain
(Codemasters Ano: 360,953 PC (пураз Rene can,
Readytogetäirmty? |takasyouclosertothe Whatscoolerthana — betterouttforyou | 2marefighrtechlook |
Kickupdesertsand — MS-ootsummiLend fre-bresthing.man- fantasy desiresthan
eighties styling
ina dune buggy, then sincetherearentany eating serpent? Oneyou Dungeons & Dragons.
barrel your way through barricades, be careful — controllikeanairplane = I'salsothecoolest-
muddy terrain or nottodropoffthe — andusetotorchyour looking game tohitthe
Weaveyourwayupone craggyedge.Ordo enemies,ofcoursein — PSSsofar
Of Colorado'stallest ^ dropoffjustsoyoucan Lair ride fierce dragons
mountainsinarally car. watchthesiow-motion through the skies as you
Youbecometheking — replayandreliveeach protectyour kingdom
ofoffroadinthisnew ^ momentfromallkinds from threatening forces
installment of the Colin ofangles.Theonly — — byburninguptheir
‘McRae Rally series by downsideis.thegame battleships and fighting
eatingtheSO-plus doesnitafferhead-to- midairbattiesagainst
tracks,andwhilethere head multiplayer action. theirbeasts. Youuse
isawidevarietyof — Youcanonlybeatother on-screen commands
landscapes, the most players times. like in Godof War, so
breathtaking is Pikes thisfeelsa bit like fight
Peak. Each windy turn simulator-meets-action
through the clouds adventure, butit'sa
Graphic
sexyartthat doesn't go for easy,
‘over-the-topexplicitness, but
rather makes the readerlook—and
thinktwice. Enter Pulpope: The
Artof Paul Pope (AdHouse Books),
acollection Pope's fans have
been anticipating for years. This
compendium of his greatest hits
features plenty of nudity, but instead
of spelling everything out for you,
Pope's mastery isin the tease—he
needs onlya few brushstrokes to turn
youon. Although there are plenty of
pretty giis, PulpHopeis much more
thaneye candy: Its a true overview
of Pope's work, including several
works never published before, from
showgirls and Japanese manga to
| “m always on the lookout for
a aenmousadon:
Sex
Theseerotic drawings feed our senses and tease our imaginations.
large dogs, traditional comics, and
much more. inthe accompanying
essays, he gives shout-outs to
everyonefrom Dante to Picasso as he
details his work process and vision for
his art (all very interesting, especially
the “Herotics” section)
Theself-proctaimed "Comics.
Destroyer” clearly has areverence for
the form, even as he makes ta "moral
imperative to question all traditions
and presumed rules ofthe comics.
Pope worships the |
female body. PuloHope is
his book of revelation.
medium" The resulting images are
arresting. A concert poster offers up
‘luscious burlesque star who might
behotter than the real thing, while
another page offers an elephant
hanging froma cloud by ahook.
Although this is certainly nohow-
tobook, any aspiring comic artist
would do well to study the drawings
carefully. Pope proves his mastery
over various comic forms while
putting his own recognizable stamp
oneachcolorful page.
Itsthe kind of book where every
reader will have his personal favorite;
mineinvolvesa simple pairof panties
about toslideoffagir's perfectly
framed ass. Sensually drawn and
powerfully erotic, this book'sa keeper.
ByRachel Kramer Bussel
© ГЄ reinste blo hee soca
Ku pers en
z (Crown) theyre
nto his ater ego, Kurtz
Starting in the present and going
the reader cartooning tricks while
m recounting the horrors and pleasures.
of his early Ме, including a perfect
revenge on an evil ex. But the book's
An“autobiography” with | best parts are some of its darkest—an
laugh-out-loudshocks | acid trip gone wrong, afightwith
his est friend, September 1, and
sexless nights with his wife. Kuper
defies expectations ofthe panel
format while constantly working in
references tohis comic heroes. Any
reader will likely laugh out loud as |
did when, after a business meeting
gone wrong, Kurtz turns to the reader
andasks, "Was that guy anasshole—
or what?
Harvey Pekar Gives
Peace a Chance
He follows American Splendor with the story of a young
woman's war against war. Interview by Jeff Newelt
For 30 years, Harvey Pekar has been
mining magic out ofthe mundane
while writing American Splendor his
unadorned slice-of-life comic series
Pokar'sstoriesare proto-Seinfeldian.
celebrations of the ordinary that found
their way on-screeninthe 2003 film
American Splendor starring Paul.
‘Giamatti asPekar and Pekar as himself.
Hislatestoffering,thepoiticaly tinged
‘Macedonia (Vilard), drawnby Ed
Piskor, documents coauthor Heather
Roberson's journey tothe Balkans.
How different is it writing
history compared to your usual
autobiography? Isit more difficult?
Its pretty easy: getthe information
fromthe horse's mouth. When write
autobiographical comics, | write down
what my brain dictates and turn that
intostick-figure scripts. When do
biographical comics, work like
MARENTHOUSEROA:
‘Studs Terkel, witha whole bunch
of questions.
What made you decide to tell Heather
Roberson'sstory?
Imetherin2004 when! was speaking
at the University of Missouri Iwasa
‘quest of her sister Holly. and Heather
cameto visit. Heather started teling
me about this beef she had with
people who say that war is inevitable.
Shesaid, “No, it's not inevitable—and
one place where it didnothappen
is Macedonia, and 'm going over
there to write my thesis onit” Fm real
interested in history and haven't had
much opportuntyto write about it
"I wanted to write
from the standpoint that
you can avoid war”
before, sol told her when she goes
there, take notes, because 1 might
wanna do something on that. So
shewenttherefor several weeks,
‘and loand behold! get 150 pages
of notes--she even wrote down full
conversations! So it was easy for me
tobreakit down and translate tinto.
comic form.Infact,| puther name on
the cover, andi copyrighted the book
in both our names.
Joe Sacco, who has drawn for you in
the past, did great comics about the
Balkans. Were those an influence?
Well, Joe isa fantasticartist; but as,
Ical outin the comic, Sacco wrote
about war in the Balkans, and wanted
towrite something where war wasn't
the focus. He's a war junkie who's
intoportraying the actual violence.
'mnot, во! wanted to write about
itfrom the standpoint that you can
avoid war—and here isan example
of it Thereis no violence in the book.
Another themeis how women are
hassled all the time. When Heather
goestoBelgrade and Serbia, a taxi
driver gives hera real paininthe
ass Soa bigpartofthe story was
her intrepidnessand unwillingness
toplayit safe. She went over there
without writing letters or getting
introductions in advance,
"MES T в
Bestselling outhor of 3 DOLORES
fn withthe Band
HOWTOTALKTOA | THEBOYSFROM | TREMANINTHE
Woower DOLORES WHITE SHARKSKIN
ByJonathan Tropper О,
(DeacotePres) Pantheon ByluceteLognace
Тзапоннарома29- meinttemina (ee)
ewcldgeymemad massveleatieuS. Ukemany ofthe
Sanolderwomanvho SiaeDepimenis — Cubenrin/hedoyr
derinaplnecmehk aletertoPresident From Dolores, cate
about pain loneliness, Roosevetin1240 пот Lagnad'stamiywes,
E E ias
отита ° senooistudent Cuba, forublehomeland
meiysboutbeng — w?owtenaneng — byreolaion Butte
ПКО с торчо моо: yeso nly thing her intensely
tedlssymournshisseenatendolarsbil_personaltarysaga
Mewro rihma oreenameicanand! hasin common with
LETS SPENOTHENIGHTTOSETHER Seshhofbeauti, voudiotonawone Symmerrserepng
By Pamela Des Barres(ChicagoReviewPress) sexymemories fthem.Myaddressis history sitstush almost
DesBarreshasmade — lesstoneofexctementas (shewasperfect,of — SrFideiCastro Colegio intokicatingprose.
quteacareerofbeing — sheintervewsPlesant ` course) anda cute — Dolores.Seniegode ` Themaninthewhte
the Queen ofthe GehmanBebeBueland dysfunctional teenage Cuba” sultis Lagnado'sfathor,
Groupies She notonly malegrcupiePleather, — stepsonwhostryingto ^ ColegiodeDolores — Leon,anelegantif
dishedaboutherdall- — whohadafingwih ^ copeinadisgusngly was anexciusive Jesuit somewhat mysterious
ances with Jim Morrison, CourtneyLovecthough self-satisfied suburbia boarding school businessman whose
Mick Jagger andFrank hifavortemomentwkh ight outof Desperate in Cuba. Andinthis family thrivedin post-
Zappain’mWiththe herinvolved"justkiss Housewives. People — extraordarynew World War II Egypt.
Band buthassince _ing")makesthislessot — meetcuteinthbook book Patrick Symmes in1956, this comfort-
becomesomewhatofa amemoirandmoreofa they arguecute,they visits many ofthe men — ablelifocametoan
groupie historian, col tibutetothegirisand evenhavelovable — whogrewupwith — abruptendwhenanew
lecüngtaesofbackitage boys"fearless enough attacks of dementia. Castro-mostofwhom government nation-
iris gone truly wikd.Now to bust their way Everyone bristles with eventualytumed — alizedtheSuez Canal.in
she's back with thisjuky past security. ironyandthemost — againsthimandhis return, Britain, France,
collection thats filed terrible confrontations revolution They area andisrael invaded
with tales of sex with soemtallormmadefora remarkable group o! _ Egyptandileinthe
tveryone rom Elvisto TV movie. men. some of whom are Jewish Lagnados's
Kurt Cobain- including Theshameisthat — stilfearfulofusingtheir beloved Cairo became
lotsof photosofbig- Treppercanresly — fulnames.whohavwe increasingly perilous.
halred gals with their rock write,andevenwhen — been-touseanold — Leonandhifamly fied
idols Des Barres's breath- youregaggingonthe butaccuatecichó- ^ thecountn,endingup
- A Sitcomsetups.he wil eyewitnesses to history. in New York.
surprise often witha — Asoneofthemtold — Luceltowentonto
A juicy collection filled sudden butalltoobriet Symmes,"Alwhoknew becomsaprizewinning
with tales of sex with fash of humanity, oran FidelCastroknewwhat Wall street Journal
Insightinto thearbitrary he was goingtodo... He reporter (anda Pent-
everyone from Elvis to creais: wasay DRO insertado
Kurt Cobain. Letshopethatafterhe immoral butamoral. captures the heartbreak
selisthstoHolywood He couldntbeloyalto ofexleinthsbeaul-
foratonofmoney, he anything”—P&. fully moving memoir,
uses his considerable which will make you
talent togiveus the nostalgic fora long-ago
novelhe'scapableof exotic life that will never
writing —Peter Bloch eistagain. PB.
he's Serious About Her Art...
“i don't consider myself to
bea TV star. Being on TV just
allows meto represent tattooing and
represent myself, That's the main
reason! accepted the offer.Iknewif
Idldn't.some other girl would, and
couldn't stand the idea of some B-list
artist making a joke outof tattooing,
And they've done a pretty good job.
of showing my true self. My main fear
is people thinking!m unattainable
because of theshow.l'm onlyan
„But Not Too Serious.
"Getting my nonartistic friends
wasted and making them tattoo me
has always been a guilty pleasure of
mine. call my left leg my ‘yearbook:
Itlooks Ikea three-year-old got
‘aholdof atattoo machine and
wenttotown"
She Can Heal What Alls You
"People come tome with the saddest
stories nthe world, and embrace
the chance to help them when
memorializing someone witha tattoo
‘willhelpthem heal Thereis no bigger
payoff than helping someone get
througha hard time. Being ableto
make someone feel better is
fuckin amazing”
She Has Fond Memories
of Her First Time.
got myfirsttattooat l4. lt was an
OldEnglish Jon my ankle for my
boyfriend, James. Since webroke
up three years later it now stands for
Jesus... Just kidding."
‘She's Down With Ват
Ive tattooed members of my
favorite bands andactors from my
favoritemovies, andnone have
become such close friendsas Bam
Two years ago, L.A. tattoo artist Kat Von D crashed the Miami Ink sausage
party and gave usa new reason to tune in. Now she's heading home to California for her
spin-off, L.A. Ink, and we're definitely going along for the ride. By Kara Wahlgren
Margera. He'll say. Do whatever, Kat.
trust ya: could put abeardoing a
cat doggie-style on hisleg and he'd be
stoked. Oh wait. diddo that."
She'sa MySpace Junkie
"As cheesy as this may sound, ifm.
having a bad day or going through
something, | read through my mail.
Everyone's amazing support can
change how Fm feeling. Опе day I saw
атап dieafter being hit bya drunk
driver, andit was sucha traumatizing
‘experience. When! got home, |
posted a bulletin on MySpace asking
'everyoneto send positivethoughts
‘and prayers tohimand his family. In.
fiveminutes, received 9,000 e-mails
and comments thought to myself,
There's o way allthis positive energy
wont have some effect”
She Got Married to the Ramones
“Every year on my anniversary with
my husband, Oliver Peck, we get
married. Our third time, a punk-rock
minister performed a renegade C
mony atthe Empire State Building.
His backpack sound system hooked
up toour iPod, and in New York, what
better band to get married to than
the Ramones? By the time Rock'n"
Roll High School finished, we were
married yetagain.”
‘She's Not Afraid to Compete
"Oliver does his thing and do mine.
He does the most amazing full-color,
traditional-style tattoos. He balances.
me out. Weare all about supporting
‘each otherand helping eachother got
better. But racing go-karts with that
‘guy is another story. Oliver will run me
off thetrack into oncoming traffic if it
means winning!”
‘She Knows What Makes
‘Someone Hard Core...
"Being badassisjust something
youare. Anyone can be badass,
as long as you're not trying too.
hardto be something you'renot.
There's nothing worse than people
putting up afront and not being
true tothemselves. That's beinga
dumbass."
„And What Makes for
‘aHard-Core Tattoo
"Subject mattercan makea tattoo
lame, but who am! tojudge? If you
want the Coors Light logo and it.
means something to you, go for it!
'musually pretty down for whatever
when it comes to tattooing. A tattoo
is badass when you get whatever
the hell you want, without reading
too muchintoit. My Ме motto is
DILLIGAF—Doesit looklike I give a
fuck?—and ifeveryone thought that
way, you'd probably see alot more
badasstattoos "Oia
Atlanta The Penthouse Club - where you,
your friends and business associates
can relax in comfort.
Chicago talk business and dine in elegance.
Enjoy personalized service
Dalles with a wide selection
of champagne and wines, while
you are entertained by
Denver the world's most beautiful women
Detroit
Те з=
HN Es:
Houston ye JS ©
Los Angeles Where the Magazine Comes to Life!
Mexico City
Myrtle Beach
New Orleans
New York
Niagara Falls
st. Louis
Tampa д
For more information on our clubs, visit:
Wellford nthouseClubs.com
телом доод тазе
style. he bassis tumen.
әм and clean -nover
товду and te mids aed
‘Nahar lively and detailed.
Theresitisadeep, warm,
en soundstage hat works
wah alimusic gerres The
metal eariscn tet tudor
onthe typical mods»
plastic designa, ard the
amiru connector is
Med wth age plotad,
sme mnacktorabetter
conection The 47 nh.
oryger res copper cabio le
lesstangle-pronethan most
y
ing your sonic buzz with cheap hearing aids.
¡greatest headphones foryourinner music fan.
By Chuck Tannert Photographs by Nick Ferrari
!
Tupein,tumon.anddrop out was once añinvitationto expand
r consciousness through mind-teringdrügs.Todayit means
download tunes, hit the pavement with aportable audio device,
andjoyfully tune out the din of everyday life. Unfortunately, the
headphones supplied with most players IKeyouriPod, сап
ruin your sonic euphoria faster thana badhitof acid That's why
‘discerning listeners are investing in better buds that meet their
Particularneeds Here aresome ofthebest offerings
THESESWEAT- S
RESISTANT PLASTIC e
SPORTS 'PHONES WILL
" Е — . WITHSTAND YOUR
» TOUGHEST WORKOUT.
THESE ARE BIG,
CLUNKY, AND OFFER
THE BEST SOUND 3%
QUALITY AVAILABLE.
coon ok ke thy
e moreathomereproduceg.
Z.Butiook canbe deceiving:
Tregols<oiondeanschuen
whats sent through them They
zm olo (amintoluo
аарга па осшде)
mele the Grados strict for
‘hecourh potato Theyre
тоталну ноте but
metom earpsds offer only
o come.
mee
(Goza. St-Laurent)
TheRules
Essence Алас
Celebs are banking that their fame makes for a good fragrance, but what's the
scent of a baller or a music mogul? We spray it out for you. By Abigail Aronofsky
magnolia grapelru musk. geranium f eaves,
аск сато. налетот,
wesan:
His legendary basktbalarser maybe well
‘over but ihe Jordan trand- shoes, steakhouses
namate masterpieces a Space Jants stm
rong: 23, one of Ms Anem ves fragrances,
was Portumania’s top-seding Fathers Day
p mustbepowertustuft
Cologne as recentis 2005 As one ofthe малат
pioneering celeb-coiogne hawkers. st leat one anywhere, except thins SO-—iersdhn of
gamble pald oftfor Nim Bostorsenway Park
мелат
nti LeBron sweats out the hevtabie King
ames cologne
3 PENTHOUSECOH
“A PERSONALITY
BOTH U
wer
range mandorn,bergamet cardamom Sean Оду" Combes latest abun, Pross
mente tar re amber > Play along way trom poing even single
тшкт but tran s tne No 3 mers партале
The "masquerade" part makes sense,
чту urvecognizaie without the makeup,
Kass tams rencor dienard—erpec iair
Meagas ara Semmon han probably bepged.
mom ot them (e cams to have көри mitn some
400 women) so tnis cota be the love potion
youvebeentooking or.
((——
Do thedishes.
"ffhalfthe sink is full, then okay, he.
didn’t clean that day.Butif things are
rotting and you dont knowif that's
aratorjust old pizza, then that's
disgusting. That shows he'sa dirty
person. Andit just makes you think
aboutall theother things that could
bedirty-iike, everything”
Don'tstash the videos
“That's totally fine ifhe owns couple
pornos. d say, ‘Let's putit on But he
probablyshouldn'town freaky gross
stuff-youknow, stuff thatHoward
stern would have”
You can leaveitup.
"understand that it’s your bathroom,
so youre not going to put the toilet
seat down. Justmake surethereisn't,
Ike, pee and pubic hair allover the rim.
‘One time | saw a guys bathroom and.
chose not touse it.I waited until we
left the apartment for thedate. I didn't
tel him.Ican'tleta guyknow та
bitchthatearly on!”
Don't buy the economy-size box
"A pack of condoms ls okay, but think
is gross when aguyhas too many.
Ive seen tandis skanky"
Bequirky, not corny
"like guys who have quirky, cute,
stuff. ike Superman bedsheets. love.
anything retro-cool, kinda geeky. But
in high school dated a guy who had
leopard-print bedsheets. was ike,
"What's wrong with you?"
Don't sleep with Grandma.
“Ithinkit'sa good idea to have photos
of girifriends on your wallif they're
attractive. It shows women that you
hang out with other women—which
will make you seem more sexually
attractive. It's totaly fine f you have
family pictures in the bedroom, too.
Just don’t put Grandma next tothe
humpty-dump area."
Trash your ex's stutt
“Ive gone through guys medicine
cabinets Youjustwanna see what
prescriptions they have—you never
know thecrazies outtherel But i's
having giris’ stuff that freaks me out
the most. Ive seen anti-itch vaginal
creamina single guy's cabinet. | was
Же, this a souvenir from his ex-
girlfriend? Does she still come over?
Maybe heusesit"
Ditch the extra creams
“lonlyhaveone moisturizer in my
'atyouto£lean your room, i
We spoke to Shay Laren June '06) to find out why the state of iinet Soifa guy has twoor three,
that'sjust weird. Itrynotto assume
yourapartment could send her running for ће Sees pis vd ened
By Jonathan waysand don't liketoadmitit "Oa
Dear Scoundrel,
Most of my college buddies
went into finance, but!
couldn't do that with my
philosophy degree. They have
high-paying jobsand spend
alot of cash on the weekend.
How can | keep partying with
them without selling my
Toyota?—R.. California
Listen, Socrates, they blow doughon
the weekend ‘cause they're miserably
overworked cubicle-zombies on
weekdays. You ve transcended the
existentialnadirthatis mindless
work for the greener pastures of
underemployment, so you have
ample weekday time to write letters
toadvice columns and ponder which
Olsentwin you'd rather force-feed
kielbasato. Asa result, you are
spiritually fulfilledandas broke as an
Oldsmobile salesman.
But fret not; poverty is more an
experience than an economic state.
Your buddiesarerichin materia!
Goods, whereas you have a treasure
chest of memorizedlines from
Waiting for Godot. Use this to your
advantage and bilk those -banking
bastards for all they're worth: Shortly
before the check arrives, raise your
champagne glass and say in your
mostprofound voice, "Weare all born
mad. Some remain so." Then swallow
that bubbly and head for the door,
revelin your street credas an artiste,
and get anew setof friends who will
return your calis when you ask about
the next bender.
Butifyouwantto keep your
buddies and your laundry money,
don'tanteup forthe next Vegas trip
Gettanked before clubbing with
friends, wear a fask belt buckle, and
beup front about the amount you
canpony up forthe bil Remember,
evenif you blow the Blue Book value
of your Corolla to spring for bottle
service, the ladies will take off as soon
as the vodka runs dry, leaving you with
nothing buta few breath mints anda
bus pass to your name.
DearScoundrel,
I'm 30 and I've been dating this 22-
year-old girlfora few months. A
couple of my friends have started
giving me flak for it, but figure she.
is within myrange— given the whole
half-your-age-plus-seven rule. Does.
that still apply?—A.D. Idaho
Thehalf-plus-seven rule's for puritans
and paroled priests. fshe’s legal, до
ahead and tap thatkeg. Hell last year,
Quincy Jones was 73 and rumored
Words of wisdom from a21st-century rogue
tobe dating a 19-year-old fashion
designer. That brings new meaning to
hishit"Tell Me a Bedtime Story”
Your judgmental friends probably
thinkLolitais about a European
pedophile. Wrong its alovestory
about aEuropean pedophile. Even
Vladimir Nabokov understoodthat
dating young is the American way. It's
adistant cousin of manifest destiny.
‘And arm-candy welcome it since
they generally find security in the
‘embrace and credit rating of an older
man So dont caveto yourtriends"
pressure, and imagine being Quincy's
age getting wheeled offstage after.
playinga college-auditorium gig. Your
geriatric loins willbe howling fora
дате of coed naked shuffleboard.
YOU ARE SPIRITUALLY
FULFILLED AND HAVE
AMPLE WEEKDAY TIME,
BUT YOU'RE AS BROKE
AS AN OLDSMOBILE
SALESMAN.
DearScoundrel,
l've been casually hooking up with
mybuddy's younger sister. m kinda
worried thathe might find out, and
m not sure how he'd react. Should
tellhim?—W.G., Delaware
Whois this "buddy" and didhe ever
save you froma gang of Crips? Assess
the situation: How protective is eof.
his sister? How long will you continue.
planting seeds inher secret garden?
Canshekeep yourextracurriculars
onthe down-lowor will she snitch like
Jose Canseco? Get ina few more hot
taboo sessions and then find out what
she wants todo.
Butit sounds like you know how
your friend would reactifheknew—
‘and the response may involve an
improvised javelin. If that's the case,
don'ttell him:don't ask him ff he ever
accidentally walkedin on his sister
while she was showering: and don't
ever suggest it would be coolif y'all
were brothers-in-law.
When hofinds cut-and he
will-forget about pulling a Johnnie
Cochran. Even the Dancing Itos could
convict your guiltyass.Fessup. Then
buy your buddy anall-expenses-
paidtripto Perverts Row at the local
towniestripjoint and make sure his
sweet tooth gets plenty of Candy Oia
‘SEND YOURQUESTIONSTO
SCOUNDRELa HG COM
Rangpur
Gimlet
Inthis most patriotic of months, what better way
—r tocelebrate than witha cocktail whose
originpokes fun atourcolonial captors?
By Abigail Aronofsky
hankstothe — | appiejulce-recentiy
Вик, васп — introducedavariant
Juywehave | called Tanqueray
apatrioticexcuseto | Rangpurt'smade
getloaded and shoot | withexotic Rangpur
‘off Roman candles limes, which look
Inheaviy populated | Ikemandarinsbut
‘areas.Alsothanksto | taste Ikelimes. Asit
theBritishwehavea | turns out, Tanqueray
cocktail that willhave — | Rangpur makesa mean
yousaling smoothly | gingimlet:a thirst-
fromindependence | quencher pioneered
Days pyrotechnic by the British Royal
debauchery straight | Navy, whose sallors
through Labor Day. had the good sense to
Tanqueray-purveyors | combine their ginand.
ofthe gin your grandpa | limerations-toward.
was pouring while your | offscurvy,of course.
dadwasstillsipping | Our Founding Fathers
dubbed the colonizers
THE CITRUS IN товуз, since the English
TANQUERAY RANGPUR nen,
SETS OFF THE GIN'S | stasaresuitottnat
PINEY FLAVOR WHILE сетне
COOLINGITSBITE. tansa
POSTE | ecos
Tenqueray Rangpur
"20m Dcum,
— sets offthegin'spiney
plametRewsimelice | Navorwhilecoolngits |.
——— e wedge ot lime. bite, and adding Rose's [
ShaegnandRow'swihic | lime juice makes for
enswainimtoachled gies a sweet, tart summer
p pedi
raiseagimietto the
limeys, without whom
we couldn't take a day
offto blow shitup. Oa
T
YO
аі
So marh tar sof oholesome reputation.
Victoria.
Underthe bright light
ofacloudless Mediterranean
sky Victoria Vass worshios
the sun the only way she knows how.
Photographs by Mark Goldberg
"Living in Europe
isa dream cometrue
for me. | can express
my sexuality in a much
freer way than
lever would back
home in America.
Anything goes here.”
"Im not very good when it comes to rules. I've always been kind of a
wild child, and | guess I'm an exhibitionist, too. When
the sun comes out, | just can't seem to keep my clothes on"
cw a
|
d
|
SEPERHOUSECOM — —
“The fastest way to my heart is with a strong and deep full-body massage.
If aman can rub me the right way, I'm all his.”
_ Victoria
"I can't believe | get paid
for showing off my naked
body. It's the most
natural thing in the world,
and | get incredibly
aroused when I'm posing.
| hope it shows.”
WERELOOKING FOR THE
TOSEE MORE OF VICTORIA, VISIT
PENTHOUSECOH ӨТ.
De
Open
Meet Ashley Force, daughter of drag-racing legend John Force,
and the foxiest driver in motor sports.
winning five timesin three — female drag racer Shirley
seasonsinthe amateur Top Muldowney?
Alcohol Dragster class, Ashley Force Ive seen the movieabouther,
jumped to the pro Funny Car division Heart Like a Wheel, and! have a
this year. She is following in the bookonher. And ve talked toher
hugo footsteps ofher dad, 14-time — alot The things she went through.
National Hot Rod Associationchamp аге nothing atal like my situation.
John Force. Itwas a breakoutyear for Thepeoplei race with now, they're
the 24-year-old brunette, who also ali happy tohave women in the
starsinthe A&Ereality show Driving sport. Some of my competitors have
Forcewithhertwohotdrag-racing daughters who race junior dragsters.
sisters, When she squared offagainst It's very much accepted now.| don't
her dadon the track this season, they know f could've made it through
made history asthe firstfatherand — whatShirleywentthrough.Idon't
daughter to compete againsteach — knowiflwould'vebeen strong
otherin any pro sport. Ashley won — enough Butthankfully she was,
the landmark race, beating her pops — anditmade where weare today
by nearly a second. so much different.
Doyouhave anormal dating life?
Ido, guess | havea boyfriend and he
actualy works ona funny
۸ Rer reaching nine finals and Doyouknow the pioneering
You were a high-school cheerleader
who took welding and auto shop.
Did you always think, 'm not like the
other girls?
Because of my dad, I was around
racing from the time | was born.
lovedcars. loved the smell of nitro,
burnouts, and allthat. But! wasa
normal girl, too. My mom had us in
dance class and gymnastics. Now
that 'mliving on my own, realize}
should've taken home ec because
have none of those skills.
It's anoldclichéthat men ove fast
carsand beautiful women. You're
both, wrapped up in one package.
You might say differently if you
saw me out atthe track. Ihave
helmethairandclutch dust all over
my face. But like seeinga lotof
women involved in drag racing. It's
funtoshowthefansthatyoucan
bea race-car driver and stilldo the
typical things. Ido my makeup in "andbesting-hertaherin
between rounds. Fortunately, didn't Peery Carte pesteorng Sao
havetoturninto a grease monkey Osa, “shes probably going to
inorder to race. nme залета.
SEPENTHOUSECOR.
car thatl compete against. think
with drag racing, you're on the
road so much it would be difficult
tohavea normal boyfriend at home.
They just wouldn't get it.Icome.
homefrom the races and people
are like, “Man, you're talking so fast
and loud” That comes from being
‘around the track
read а description of your
dad that called him a combination.
of Gary Busey, Elvis Presley, and
Andy Griffith. Is that accurate?
don't know how you could
‘even describemy dad. He's
Ikea nutcase, He's a crazy guy,
buthe has the biggest heart.
He can yell when he's mad, but
hecanfixany problem. Evena
personal problem —your boyfriend
or whatever—he can somehow
call them and make them not
madatyou.
He doesn’t fixthose boyfriend
problems witha lead pipe anda
shotgun, does he?
No, no! He actually matched me up.
with my boyfriend. It's very strange.
never would have expected my
father todothat.
ls ittrue that after you won
yourfirst big race two years ago,
your dad ran behind the grandstand
and threw up?
‘Yes, and Ithink that's the funniest
thing leverheard. don't know why
itwould've given him that reaction,
| thinkhe'sjustso emotional that
whatever he's feeling, it's like 25-
hundred times what the normal
person feels. Iwas excited, too, but
Iwas smiling—and he was puking.
guess you can see where the
differences are.
There'san Ashley Force Barbie doll
anda Hot Wheels die-cast car, Which
‘are you most proud of?
love the Barbie doll. have alot of
fans who are younger girls, butat the
races there was never anything for.
them except die casts and loud race-
car T-shirts. Finally, there's a dol at
the tracks—with the fire suit the.
helmet, and boots.
Do you really love the smell of nitro?
tt'snot justthe smell. Youfeelitin.
your eyes, burning your nose—it's
зо powerful. When you smellit, you
know there's a race car nearby I've
been round racing since Iwas akid,
andit'sstillthatsame smell It can
bring grown mento where they're
coughing and theireyes are welled up
with tears—Dave Hollander
"IVE BEEN
AROUND RACING
SINCEIWAS
BORN.ILOVE
CARS.ILOVE THE
SMELL OF NITRO,
BURNOUTS,
AND ALL THAT.”
um. > 4
Draft Caros
The wiseasses who fill Madison Square Garden
are the real story of every NBA draft.
orhoopshesdsallowrihe
F 5:
mos holiy anticipated dates
ofthe yer Usual held week or two
otterthe NBA Fina ron une 28
fnis year the draft isthe falpace of
The NBA season nefinshing touch
ut wat youseeonthe ESPN
haf the story. ke any ion
dolar TV production the version
beamed out totheworid на poished
picture-ecited, organized, and
Captures tha money shots tha top
picks intel ve burton suits shaking
Commissioner David ters hand
batitmisesthettie moments the
анан that embody tetruo essence
ofthe craft day experience.
Thecommercalbresk sehe
hishtghtof the draft” says sam
Rubenstein a contributor to SLAM
anda veteranof several drafts. Who
knew somany peoplehadsuchstrong
fesingsabouL Jay sand Stuart
сон? ey do agreat joo editing
uta ofthe profanity for TV” Itstrue
te maraca eguen eligerent
fanspackedinsde the Garden
SE PENTHOUSECOM
really get going. Whether they're
chanting "Fire Isiah" or shouting
DUI" inunisonas former Duke
University guard J. J. Redick’s name
is announced (as they did in'O6), the
inmates seem to run the asylum. Last.
year's spectacle featureda brutal
seven-minute sequence during which
twofans mercilessly heckled ESPN
PROSPECTSOFTHIS YEAR'S DRAFT.
‘Greg Oden. onio randan Want. Nor
‘State center, 70”, ‘carolina оиа,
p p
= forward, £107,248,
Kevin Durant esas po
forward, OFS, oes
pum
2 Corey Bremer Fora
= qui lorenrd 697.
2007 MockDraft Top >
ONCE THE
CAMERASSTOP
ROLLING, THE
MANIACAL
GARDEN FANS
REALLY GET
GOING.
commentator Stephen A. Smith. Ashe
munched on Cheez Doodles during
abreak, the two yahoos launched
intotheir impressions of Smith's
volatile on-air persona: "Quite frankly,
these Cheez Doodles are delicious!”
Naturally the whole episode was on
YouTube the next day.
But the off-camera stuff is not al
about taunting ESPN personalities
‘or Duke pretty boys. The TV cameras
routinely neglect the whole "draft-
pick-in-the-crowd" phenomenon.
102005, the NBA didnt inviteprep
star Andrew Bynum to sitin the
greenroom, aroped-off VIP area for
projected lottery picks. He didn't
care, He and his entire family drove
toMadison Square Garden from New
Jersey and satin the crowd with the
fans. When Bynum's name was called
as the surprise tenth pick, he glided
down the stairs and strutted past
the greenroom filed with the more
ballyhooed NBA hopefuls, grinning
up tohis eyes. On his way back to
his seat, he was mobbed by dozens
ot random fans. The othertop picks
never came close tomixingwith the
hard-core fans like that
Afew hours later, Mickael
Gelabale—a Frenchman with
Sideshow Bob hair "pulled asimilar
move after Seattle selected him in
the second round. Hegota standing
‘ovation from the Garden crowd. Why
did asecond-round afterthought
eta standing O? Because during the
three hours that he'd been sittingin
the upper reaches ofthe theater,
hemanagedto befriend every fan
inthe section
‘These arethe moments that.
truly define the NBA Draft,andyou
won't seethem on ESPN. So why
not make a late- June trip to New York
this year? Who knows, maybe you
cancatcha ride with the Bynums.
—Peter Schrager
Enemy
Within
Why do some baseball players
suddenly lose the ability to walk and
chew gum at the same time?
s Yogi Berra once said,
laseballis 90 percent.
mental; theotherhalfis.
Physical" Somewhere in Berra's
'expressionistic equation, between
the psychology of tho game and
its mechanics there's a lotofroom
for seemingly simple things to
gocompletely haywire. Baseball
history is dotted with players who
Inexplicably lost the ability to execute
the most routine tosses of the game.
Sons of Steve Blass
By John Bolster
In 1990, Mets catcher Mackey
‘Sasser hit 307 andlookedto be on
his way to a solid career The next
year, he couldn't throw the ball back
tothepitcher from his catcher
position. He would double-clutch
and hesitate, unable to release the
ball Bythe end of'95 he was outof
the game, a victim of what Dr. Richard.
Crowley,a psychologist, calls “the
invisible opponent”
Crowley, who helped former All-
Star second baseman Steve Sax and
pitchers Mark Wohlers and Steve
Blass overcome similar problems,
defines the phenomenon as a
“psychic virus that infects a player's
mind, much ike a computer virus
canattach itself to software.” Sax
Qothit with the virus in 1983 and was
unable to throw from his second-base
position to first “It's the toughest
thingl ve ever gone through,” hehas
said. "It's soawful, and everybody in
the worldis watching you”
And according to Blass,
everyone's also offering
suggestions-a well-intentioned
response that only makes the
situation worse. "One of the biggest
difficulties" Blass said, “is that too
many suggestions, ideas, and theories
cause clutter”
Crowley's methodinvolves
reducing that clutter by conjuring an
image in the imagination to refocus
the player. "Wohlers snapped out of
his nightmare after thethird session
we did together” he says. Blass, who'd
long since retired, consulted Crowley
because he wanted to "recover thejoy
of throwing again”
"Itriedto get intouch with [Chuck]
Knoblauch, Sasser, and Rick Ankiel
Crowley says, speaking of other major
leaguers who struggled with the
demon (see sidebar). "But sadly, my
attempts were in vain. think could
have helped them as well”
Healng
Walter
Reed
For too long, America's wounded heroes have
been facing friendly fire from an uncaring
bureaucracy. But finally we're getting some
optimistic reports from the medical front lines.
By Matthew Currier Burden
Ifirst set foot in Walter Reed Army Medical Center a few years ago
when! visiteda friend who had lost afootin combat in raq While
| was there, looked in on some other wounded troops to see if
| could do anything for them. As you might expect, was pretty
nervous. Hospitals are never fun places to visit, especially when
you're seeing friends who have been all shotup.
But my visit was not at all what | expected. The soldiers! met
were very positive and eager to return to their units. In fact, many
of thom wanted my experience at their hospital to be a good one.
And for acouple of years, felt energized, even uplifted, after
Visiting Walter Reed. But more recentiy, Ive heard increasingly
frequent complaints-not about the medical care, but about the
bureaucracy. And now, those complaints have become national
news—and a national scandal.
Soldiers always gripe—and honestly, l'd be worried if they
stopped. But the volume of complaints and frustration being
‘expressed is truly disturbing, The biggest issue (which first
heard about froma nurse)! that there is no spokesperson-- no.
‘ombudsman, to use a currently fashionable word—whosejob is to
‘act on behalf of wounded soldiers.
Thereare afew military liaisons who report to the commander,
but no one outside the chain of command who can solve issues
for the patients. Soldiers have to fend for themselves. Problems
arise ifa soldier doesn't have a family member to look after
his well-being (like atany hospital, you or your family need to
beproactive about taking charge of your own care). As! said,
soldiers ike to gripe, but they're trained to "driveon" no matter
the circumstances. So when someone gets woundedand stuck
inahospital, hetendstoaccept theconditionsasthey are. He
toughs itout. That mentality probably explains why ittookso
long for this national disgrace to make the front pages.
Since the scandal broke, ve been asked several times f Iwas
aware of the abysmal conditions at the hospital during my visits
and fund-raising efforts to supportthe patients. The fact is, what
I had seen during those visits was fine. I didn't know about the
now-infamous vermin-infested Building 18, and the doctors,
nurses, and therapists of Walter Reed are among the most caring
and capable professionals 've ever met. But | was unawareof
the problems with the civilian and military administration and
leadership of the hospital—andsince | didn’t know about those
problems, after a couple of dozen visits to Walter Reed, it's not
surprising tomethat most of America didn'tknow either. The
reporters who broke this story deserve great praise.
SS PENTHOUSECOM
Because this column's reporters are the men and women
who serve in the military, we sought out those who had rotated
козу vane reete thon dt Ss
Panenan we ves ei combates har
елее ркан nia vaa Work od,
Жылны! codos лае aena
manolo se нур ойи sc
er ocre dad ad
КЕЕ
Cymaense rre Poo
Ronbngehtddteoeatia Cli at
едд мде сору machin Fs
andor slogbnowtnetne fübemadidngnortelan
pore tee peine erede ндо! эне
Ge Ta iren CJA Ar One rondo (yat
Scrum ht nce volcano tm meu
vestre Amy Pr pactada li on ada.
Marica monde le Rer Ove apa
rec anise at we soonest vt eat
карашым уж Ин е ily
TS yaya
lostalepinFaltdahin 2008,
ets therapy st Walter eed,
ief: Army Chat ot tat Peter
‘Schoomatorghcusteshorptal
Aaron Schosnfed euer Ns
year Schoomaker brother.
Walter Reed) right US. Army
‘Surgeon General Kevin ly had
thetimeand this is the place:
Although we know that words always
come easily. itappears that Walter
Reedis trying tolive upto this mandate,
evenifit's mainly PR at this point. A
soldier sent me this update as patients
were being moved out of Building.
16:"Nearly shita bricktoday when!
foundout that Walter Reed is movin’
TODAY! Theyalsoareinstalling айо!
thesebrand-new iMacs in the room,
from which am typing. They arealso
instaling32"flat-screentelevisions
ontoeach wallofeveryroom. Thought
you would like to know”
This reassuring e-mail came from another wounded sergeant:
"THE ADMIN IS SO GOAT- | swan нн coma Noscandal complet ator
FUCKED-UP THAT THEY | Since cuece:
SNOOP TO SEE IF YOU | _ soourwounded heroes have up-to-date technology and
ATTEND THE VOLUNTARY Sittictrcmneathencnecosedoyoowvsccyand
MORALE OUTINGS. IF YOU танине We'ikeepyouposted-andifyourein
APPEAR TO BE OUT AND | Ea Y naa COOSA
ABOUT, THEY FIND MORE
WORK FOR YOU TO DO” StaessmioAN AF GHANSTAN WAS PUSSHEDLAST YEAR
*
Evolution ofthe Orgasm
ight there. Na lower Faster Faster! YES! Wait,
notsohard. Slow down, will you? Jesus, what do
you think Iam? Did you just call me a dirty little
whore? Get the hell out of my bed?
Ifyouarea sexually active man—and let's
face it. you oughtto be—you ve probably
been on the receiving end of just such an
exchange. Satisfying а woman is no easy task for boys: it requires
experience, wisdom, and, often, a master's degree in biology.
‘Any guy who says he has a reliable handle on the big O is either
lying or being lied to. Deciphering the apex of female arousal
is like honing your golf swing: Just when you think you've got it
nailed, your balls end up far from the putting green. "Its elusive,”
says late-night carouser Dave Attel "It's like the Easter Bunny
‘or national health care: greatideal'diove to see, but probably
never will”
‘And yet, this carnal mystery sas integral to our sense of
manhoodas beer and baseball. But triggeringa lady orgasm.
isn’t merely a sexual sil it's a survival mechanism "The female
‘orgasm reveals how much women value men." says Dr. Randy
Thornhill, distinguished professor of biology at the University of
New Mexico, Recent studies suggest that the femaleorgasmisn’t
‘asexual indulgence, but rather an appraisal of our worth as mates.
Inthe contest of natural selection, our orgasmicaptitudeisa game
‘changer. Unfortunately figuring out the precise evolutionary
origins of the female orgasm is abit more complicated than
‘explaining why we have opposable thumbs. But that hasn't.
stopped intrepid sex scientists from cooking up some pretty.
kinky theories. Those theories all have one thingin common: The
There's more to the
mystery ofyour
girlfriend's orgasm than
whatever skills you've
managed to pick up.
There's the biological
imperative, the
bonding mechanism,
not to mention the very
survival of the species.
Jonathan Sabin
uncovers the truth
about thousands
ofyears of shudders
and moans.
female O saysalot more about you than it does about her.
According to a surprising number of studies, inciting the carnal
imax ranks alongside cold fusion in degree of difficulty—atragic
‘one-third of women rarely or never have one during sex. "Only
about 25 percent of women reliably have an orgasm through
intercourse; says Elisabeth Lloyd, biology professorat Indiana
University and author of The Case of the Female Orgasm: Bias in
the Science of Evolution. Clitoral stimulation, she says, is a much
more reliable route to ecstasy—a fact that women have managed
todiscover without the aidof scholarly research. Alfred Kinsey,
the Albert Einstein of sex research, found that 84 percent of
women who masturbate push their love button.) It seems the
tongue is mightier than the sword.
But unless women start getting pregnant through cunnilingus,
al ofthis makes little evolutionary sense. The orgasm, for both
‘genders, is an evolutionary adaptation-whichisto say, t's an
insanely pleasurable incentive to have lots of sex, and thus lots
of babies. It's nature's way of rewarding us for behaviors that
promote survival and procreation. (Now you know why that
rotein-rich sirloin tastes so damn good.) So ifthe relatively rare
female orgasm is a sexual incentive, it's not avery good one, and
certainly not one that should have survived millions of years of
natural selection. And unless your penis is shaped Ike an origami
‘swan, clitoral stimulation has little if any thing to do with baby
making. So why do women have them?
"Itfunctionsas a bonding scheme; says Frans de Waal,
aprimatologist at Emory University. "If a woman has a very
í. a
Evolution ofthe Orgasm
Medo
КЕЕ петли: ШЕШШ
theory, theorgasm served as thebonding mechanism between. The female orgasm may be a biological mystery, but there are
the sexes, encouraging prehistoric men and women to forge тоге stats on the subject than on your favorite
et... om
S е жокто teers
Бос. 1 лсо
gotinto good private schools. The man, meanwhile, could go | ‘readily, and whenever they want”
en 5
sneakinga quickie with Barney Rubble in ће cavenext door.
‘Skeptics of the pair-bond theory, however, say the female eg
‘orgasmismorelikely to promote promiscuity than fidelity. -
‘They argue that because women come so rarely, they would want.
toshag as many guys as possibleto increase their orgasmic
‘odds (coincidentally, this also explains the mating rituals of
sorority giris). Such licentiousness would aid in the survival of
the species by making the menin a particular clan unsure of
which tots were theirs, and thus less likely to slap around infants
who might be their own. Most scientists consider this a pretty
big stretch, though, becauseit assumes that our ancestral
grandfathers were bloodthirsty baby killers who regularly.
pummeled helpless tykes who weren't related to them. And
unless you're Danny Bonaduce ona'roid rage, this probably isnt
thecase.
‘Another creative theory claims that the muscle contractions
‘associated with the female orgasm functioned as an ejaculatory
aid for men, Stone Age males, theargument goes, were long-
lasting studs who copulated with somany women that they could
last for hours. In order to finaly release their seed, they needed
someextraassistance fromthe woman's vaginal muscles. DORT. recen E
‘Themost compelling evolutionary account of the female
orgasm entails aconceptcalled sperm competition. The idea.
isthatby havingorgasms, women unconsciously select which symmetrical men havemore sexual partners and dole out more
male's sperm willinseminatethem.Scientistswhoclearlyhave orgasms than theirlopsided brothers, “Some guys just fire more.
woytoomuchtimeontheirhandshavedeterminedthatwhen orgasms thanothers” he says. “That's the way the world works."
à woman has an orgasm, the vagina creates a suction effect. Before you call up the plastic surgeon to get that slight
that helps transport sperm into the reproductive tract When — imbalance on your scrotum realigned, keep in mindthat the world
‘a woman climaxes one minute before and up to 45 minutes. today looks very different from the world our grunting ancestors
‘after the man ejaculates, vaginal “upsuck”—yes, this is an actual — inhabited. Even if your misshapen mug on your MySpace page
term-helpsthe woman retain more sperm, thusincreasingthe — prompts women toslam down their laptops inhorror,thereare
chances of fertilization. "It's a form of cryptic female choice,” ways tocompensate. What modern diva wouldn’ttake a Harvard
‘says Dr. Thornhill, who coinedthe termin 1983. "Females are MBA ora G-spot savant over bilateral symmetry? "Back then it
very sophisticated and can choose sires of thelr offspring was about who had the better cave; says Attell "Now it's about
through subtle means” During our prehistoric past, women likely | who has the SUV or howmuch your movie made on opening
copulated with more than one male during their reproductive weekend”
Cycle. In order to ensure that only the superior sperm reached ‘And here's another encouraging sign for theorgasmically
their promised land, women developed mechanisms like upsuck challenged: The female orgasm may not serve any evolutionary
togivean advantage to their preferred mates. purpose at all. According to Lloyd, the female O в nothing more
‘So which men are most likely toring their partners’ bells? thana developmental hiccup. It's not adaptive because there
‘Thornhill believes that women tend to orgasm with men who по evidence linking ittoreproductive success; claims Lloyd,
possess bilateral symmetry. a primary indicator of physical who rejects the adaptive theories as being either conceptually
attractiveness, Ifa prehistoric male hadtwo arms of equal length or statistically sloppy. Instead she says that the clitoris, and
‘and twomatching earlobes, he was considered a catch, sinceit — by extensionthe female orgasm, developed as an offshoot of
signaled thathehad good genes and was strong enough to fend — thepenis.Forthe first eight weeks of gestation, embryos are
‘off disease, wild animals, and any other environmental threatthat _genderiess. if theyreceive a rush of certain hormones, they
‘could compromise his physical form. Even today, Thornhill says, get a penis; if not, they develop labia. Lloyd argues that the
ditoris, much lke the male nipple, is a welcome but unnecessary
TRIGGERING A nee rca
LADY ORGASM ISN'T www
MERELY A SEXUAL |е ee dere uar
SKILL; TSA SURVIVAL einen
MECHANISM. zem mnsmoeewems
FAST COMPANY, DETALS AND OTHERS.
H
|
|
PetoftheMonth
DOUG)
OF
IVY
Everybody's got their own versionof the
American dream. Last year Sasha Grey headed
to Los Angeles and started making hers
come true. Joinheras she celebrates herindependence,
andas we celebrate the introduction of
the Big Rip, our firstever removable centerfold.
Photographs by Terry Richardson
TIRENTHOUSECOW
PetoftheMonth
The more | watched
pom, the more | saw an
opportunity to continue
exploring my sexuality
and pushing my own
boundaries and finding
new ways to define
myself as a woman."
PetoftheMonth -
“The itch fo be
famous al ways
De sexualy
Ta [^
я well If
Petofthe Month
QSasha Grey
JULY 2007
en
WERELOOKING FOR THE
ACOMPENDIUM OF CARNALKNOWLEDGE
Marketing
How much cleavage do you really needto see before
you'll buya pair of loafers? It depends on who you ask.
Champagno bottles For advertisers sexual WetncCioespormThaimapempom. to revesii snort ar important asthe reveal.
lk does realy work? Or doos merely get Brand succeer 5/5 out what the product
We spoke withexecutivs at Сїт Freeman, attracts attention Men willbe attracted because
the advertising agency behind some ху Te sgercy angle: Vou canna your magnation ot me aluring womanvuththe besutfu beats `
behavioral psychologist Dr Aline Zero songenandwhatyourenotsesg Gwea woman checking out her stutt inthe mirror.
Theyhad dierent opinions abouttne way male Potonofwariheppenng.butdortnecasy Brand succe: 3/5
brans process tne imagery inthese not aas pO
The gency angle: Tho gris mb and anay
advertsing s worse han hose cd Cain. Praveen tes mayuq vi feei ine any guy coud get tati Guys keto
Көп ads. R's dothes pom [But tstands cut Saminstion andinoughttofndthewriim" work a tle bR: dort knowl this builds brand”
thinking about your brand is anenormous Te&yismewergonnaputusithemoodioshop orgasmicimagen, suspect they lust want to
d e: Vaprererecoontion R woa on guys because
Thedoctoriay Thaposeispormogaphic Youre inking pretty women and sex wih the
modei Check ou tne penis bot magery Tne agency angie: n terms of senualty in ethnic Televisions magi
orobabiycatenesmen sttentionon both xiversang Imsecondamanhastostepusng Brand succese 1/5
So PENTHOUSECOR
ry |
Stiffy Satelites
башыман, FETT
fenorna tha deedsinoe | stGocgietigftmeing
ee je
SAND REDE оле
eea сае ноа Tha
heath hanRerile, | stelscadlcstedto Ue
e burfediper men | vere ord werd
weh idespenesand. | sohtson Goose
Weir womenwkhtae | Eknh-includngbids
peintre qe monter | aie rece lied
coudmolanvest | peoplaston roots
пон ie Chinese re | youlnyourownsatelite
барк ак уну | na wathces
[evito papas ionge [кюл
OingmingfestvaLitna, C Mentalivet
long beenaChinese Biker
customto um fala Playa d'Es Cavallet
money asan offeri Span
Заа Wreck Beach
to deceased relatives,
butin response to cu
Swanbourne Beach
the contemporary ба
infitrationof Western ustala
culture, cemeteries еы акы
nowsell flammable
images of such items as
condoms, cars, TVs, апа,
yes,thelittie blue pill
regularly wander naked around
the house, accordingto a recent
online survey conducted by Shuc, a
showerhead manufacturer. The British
company discovered this tantalizing
fact while querying 3,500 women
abouttheic bathroom bebavior
“ca Swanner, Heather Cohen, Raegan.Johnson,arıdMary Beth Quirk
JULY 2007
wat
This slang term for vagina originated
inthe seventeenth century and is
thought tobe modified fromthe Old
English term thwat, which is akin to the
олотәйорое Old Norse word мей,
meaning “forest clearing" or “slit”
The first documented use of twatin
| have had
thep
many men
mav
ry sexual
its current usage isinan anonymous.
poem from1660, "Vanity of Vanities:
Thepoet wrote, “They talk'tofhis
having a Cardinals Hat, / They'd send
himas soon an Old Nun's Twat.”
sbian experiences in
wont say how
had sex with—but
A celebration of
the оре rakes
and eregace
¥ Amena best u
— + шша
“My strengths and
weaknesses are
— the same. I've got
Travis Pastrana
BoyWonder '
25 MOTOCROSS KING RALLY RACER;
oy to manouvar anything on two when FX TV Network SmartSmut
4 IN CABLE NETWORK PERENNIAL PARENTS TELEVISION COUMCILMIONTMARE
fonteringbody with остон отесип
192002 Michael Chas wonan Thatetstening to peoples
Блуе Me sheta cable. m room site ting
became ther M———
| Py strength ana weaknesses sro tha sama rva
азу ту anying"
Peron еек suen —
indie-rock uphamalewth vme-
[roses bur cou.
canara wera sereis
[rosii mni trots siara
ee
Jin 999 nena Meg write
Joined The White Strpes
илуу raw colection c
[jack descries as "many angry
(ve vemede” Surrounded by
пова out baros notor the.
[опот me 2002 TV video
Rvwe-songmontage at
молата Ryan Seacrest vot
his Diss. The Striper 2003
lone, Dephant servoa notice
for bestA eroe Pc
[abun And Bb Dyan has
covered "Bal & Bact
lnarevowot2005% Ger
[behind Satan Roting
улде Stripes to
мө reintroduce tortta
lynn brbroduong n piain
roma movie star: and married
redheaded normado!
¡cla eg as mado oor
ther Detroit pais, and sole
handin of mary chocs voc
the dominanttalent n
fhe years most aurkickng
[Ооздо ne siso punched that
Von Bondies guy In me face
[dressed the wwe Stoev
Thump (see cur review on
эде).
[rs олнероваые that rm your
[ira man, git тәк
[nim theseverthson/ And.
rightnowyoucoudearese
сита xt soon enough
уюм! care љутње нта гт
аа,
Dempneyisman-kickngant-
otetothestrectypeofU S.
talents Jamon ter 16-
[чесе an ейенен: during officer
Ping shock tutored struggling pers
Jon Hmvee-mountedpiatoon was
busted uring tne 2008 mauonct raa.
[уд теу meine un oca ppt
[noie you everyting you are Or hey break you”
pennas tocar vork ena
[кеа leutrantand whatnot тодо”
oak people suck wosk mind, body or pit”
jenen инн
A
J Novara 2006 кгөг com-
спосте n cros
Pring s1021250 forte
5500000 wena own money
[sara onyscaibresteoun
оле әлә ита Mabe
Pen But at ha povre.
[ones mo Everest лела
fe scent wo saya na whee!
Mark Cuban À k preesens sorana
Batore ha coloured
Ó
ОШАЙ | better benurnber
tus under ramo ene ene on thal Icking list.
[не vcofivnongs
[rentrer men е colde
опт, ue axo wrote ana — Floyd Mayweather Jr. Lord of the Ring
теры | saan aaa uq
Paro comeu тик боп ола conten oroen
1905 Cubenandfelow nana Unversity ham beamnesoonsenmytr | Grvanatngrghitatqvis- _"beterbenumber neon mat
оаа Wagner чата Куе out away to ter Kanana naman |a meurain нуным
jo Hoosiers qme trough computer here misceme caosan | tesroweerkeicsattenh Becnaelmthecodet"
may created Broadcast comand soid то emocion doma Dacia
тоати for 83 buron Cuban [rn very hara cone мома Aether mtna rugged
Kun 2000 буер rata he Fre onan sure nore. borin tami nata and
ум се and bac oming ha most visis owner Freystressem um in Joy 2001 hedechod x wounderwerepror te
рола oa ar bemralcontande nos urtmeworchameien a yarddMapwitheruiedio
зоо, ben auc NONA, eT билеи НЫ рны rag a duflelbao that wanaq
brosicastng entre n gh det 2003, ne nave ona Denis momtanheditiomieiton
abia thor en Part und amas Hre-ettalofetme GrandRapid нини sing
rus senicemen led or лев тив, Año betoro Comales'scomar gym six days a wask "they
[hat yest Cuban signed onto asera Word aren tne tausi Four Bean opan on Sundays rda
iingtrartarmenttequnca at ected (more Mayweather те арата Ran toa” lesa
im beingdroppad by soot он 245 pound ‘awe rterratena Bong rastame wno oun
ау Orton's signature move неяк "Let Federoneoddiuir Suger ay Leonara inne 10705
Sinner Redstone get u rom tat WoeegicumpCaos andwa serving trne tor arua
1n2005,heAundocipeer:to-poortie-sharng келуде sner ingo stein when Ford x. wan
korean ariete sags defense agaist HOM, š Novocamınatforaninund 1996 Olympe medai- has bean
Ортодо ha Oscar тмин) Good пала Wen tepounded ha somemerraregar and
d WMemarderwi£Wfhork —— Warerbutahooccelonay
FéeetetMpansher e
огюне tara ara aymesthersnickemeie
тиктезтесат me PrtyBoy-notkhaloos,
/ewrsendedkainackdown — teifzÜeweyhitcehar
o mmonedunscatad- buts
——— bur aeerigergUapsmand аларса as ha peg,
Ema Ata made sonar edébemincddow vitan Tm me ony viainyos
Meyeeshememadio __ Inomuhocenbestltte
ummeemnderehboth золе езу
Func wiringeunanimous Ралана
GecsoniMsmthetigpes Whatidonei he dark wil
fare bouinghasscenanyaars gvayccomotol ig
Maywesthertcckaathe © -Dave order
sports so cad olsen Boy
Cra DeLeon.
"|dont sleep. We work
72-hour days You
gotta be a mad scientist
to work with Dre, and
that's what I've become"
aintgonna maket
hurtany worse"
Belladonna
BigBang
"I consider myself
very hard core. I'm
always pushing the
olde Be Sud”
“Id be like, That
guy didn't want.
о fight you, but /
KO you, l'Il
Chuck Lids
$T mitentor ChicagoMayor.
Rchard M Daleys campaign.
Imio69.Atacelebrtiondinver
"herighafterBiCinton.
wes elected In 1992. Emanuel
forged hislegend by pking
аке коа! зде for emphasis
eho shouted, “Dead
punctuntaeschramefrom.
at ofpeoolehe deemed
betrmyers. Asa Ооматы,
Emanueltook onthe NRA
sting the assault weapons
Ban passed тоа
As Democratic Congres
sonal Campaign Commit.
chaman forthe 2006 mid-
termelecticns, manual
Focos again incumbent
rocatam.ighinino-qukk ARerobikosceldentuhen
тота stomach When,
hawas stoen heranwithe
roughcrowd-andevenhad
uenerbackpositon uncarny atow gunshots aimed his
уло атсетат — way te mom aid down
pa ‘helo “She told me idend.
nihe 2006 Rose Bow Young said. Incolege,he was Widely
Матла отете favored regarded aa goat hte but
Us. этин vo Hekman ^ notaauarterback Evenafter
ophywiverandaé-geme Ma star-making performance in
Menores Youngtopped the Rone Bow scouts, scribes,
rambingurteuchedtheeugh ands composure intact
Wedelnsetosesistoums Wren Tennesse struggled
In2006,Playngagainst named thestarting Bling
ehaustonTemm-hishame- the tanstoan8-8 Mnishand
cncratinghimevenaterhe ofthe Yaron the third
eprenedhacesetopiyfor quarerbacktowin tho ward
Owrimewinschzzing3- eame hi very own "Vince
рае Yeung Day in Houston nd.
Owehadonenuintatgsme entire NAL пазба:
Ld
‘SidOkdahomadetersive — — Tmalwayigoingtobeme.
Coordinator Breme Venables. You're going to deal whit. or
Tila Tequila MySpace Cadet a, crounceriayce
k
"| don't party that
much. But when
Ido go out, | go all
out. Піке drinking
lots of champagne
and finding hot
guys and girls to
make out with”
“Itake a hammer and
Ismash them in
the head, or I'll run
them over with
my car. Once you
cross the line you're
nota fan. You
become a psycho.
dort need some big scary corporation tling me.
how to ок, what m going tosing and when.
going to put tout tere.
e
Absolutely Inthe beginning you may not respect
me because cf what look ike But when you see
how idia it aimait, youl range your opinion.
signed a record deai trink would get less
respect lwcdidistbesomegstwihabig
following ontheintemetan got signed oniy tor
Idonpartythatmuch Butwheni dogo cut.
оо iout. ike атлыла iots of champagne and.
ding hot guys and gis to make ou with.
=
Térathernotboseenvwth ht crowd Its hara
enough beno taken seriously So ау as tar
away as cant taticena
Its strict dici to me at ast for now,
Iwas mandcrany Iwas hat experimenting But
Iobehorest dont ike being nareiatoreNp.
with women K’stoomuch work They e very
"тобол эла! dont hove une forth асет
need some o caling me every дау
Jak a hammer nd smasher nthe hod,
car Oncoyoucross
"hone оте rota an f you become psycho
whoputsmyMHeindange. thats whenyou geta
itiendswho are jealous ot ma things
Ierotointhesong эге exactly the things that
Mese grisaro teling hem They wane toknow
who the tuck 1s this bach nthe boyfriend зор.
Lay wth Adam t comes cutis summer He
was thanicost famous guy I over met He actualy
takes etme to авло everyone makesjoken.
and makes suro they a feel comfortable
nn
My whole Ife ls about mude. lust wanttobe
respected ordhopetulytake Madonnat piace.
Tina
DES
Twenty-one-year-old Tina Blondinas is daring,
adventurous, and just as in touch with her
feminine side as with her inner tomboy.
This Lithuanian Londoner obviously knows
how to handle hard wood.
Photographs by Mark Eilbeck
108 PENTHOUSECOM
* do aerobics in a ladies class to stay in shape,
but what I really love are non-girly
‘sports like kickboxing-style combat and target shooting”
Tina
"like to vacation
on cruises because
they're romantic,
but I'm dying to go
onasafari in Africa—
and not one of those
posh safaris, either.
like to rough it"
"Yy tastes about о оош gE е
sheets and candlelight but trust
Ve а
Ha
EN:
Why do bartenders seem to have endless
patience for drunken guys telling
their life stores? Is it the tips, the talk, or that
cute waitress who can't wait for last call?
Photograph by Nick Ferrari
anddude after dude will come up and hit on her. They reall
douchebags, soshe starts up a conversation with me, the
bartender, to ensure that she'll be left alone. tworks—the guys
back off and she thinks she's safe. After all, im a professional
While 'm working, Italk to her without hitting on her. After
‘awhile, she thinks she's connecting with me. The alcohol she's
been drinkinghelps me look more attractive, and she begins
wondering why I'm not comingon to her Before you know it. she's |
‘coming on to me. The key is to make her think hooking up was all
her idea, She waits around until the bar closes and then. after the
last customerhas left, make my move. things go well, we end
up fuckingat her place. Ог, if she has some guy waiting at home,
Pliget a blowjob behind the bar. Either way, Ican'tlose.
Some women get turned on by older guys; others are
attracted to married men or hot studs. Гуе been surprised —
happily surprised--to find out that lots of giris get turnedon by
bartenders. One time | got aside gig at a political fund-raiser in
New York City—one of those events that costs the partygoers
something liketwo grand a seat. Everyone was real stuffy and
Pompous, so It was refreshing when out of the blue I saw this
‘gorgeous chick. She was dressed like the rest of them, but when
shecameupandordered adrink knew she was different. She
looked me right nthe eye and smiled when made a joke about
the speeches. She was an attorney witha high-powered firm
‘and hated coming to stuff like this, buthadto because one of her
important clients had atable.
Anyway, we started talking and she began laughing harder as
| made fun ofthe stiffs who were coming up to order their Grey
‘Goose martinis. After the dinner and speeches were finally over,
shecame back, not caring who saw her fraternizing with "the
help" Shewas cneof the last peopleleft at the party and | was
‘debating whether or not | should ask for her number. She seemed
kindof out of my league and Ichickened out, thinking about how
wouldbekickingmyselfin the ass later.
After the guests were gone, a few workers stayed behind to
| thappensall the time. A hot girl wil be sitting atthe bar,
cleanup. I setaboutputting the leftover boozein the stockroom —
and nearly jumped outofmyskinwhenltumedaroundandssw MOS hot waitress =
the hot attorney Neither at us saida word st puledherinto
bi whispered that shed.
ko NNNM © crear that Ic fuck
going tolast ourweries werejusttco srereri-butinattrs there on the bar | ораса
ont wes defintely опе ofthe bestof my e
leit aaa concentrate as she «
isfemalebartenders Onmynghseftisemetimesinatonng Dack with more order Pornos
eee customersaronttngontrenor nat she was doing to mes
‘We PENTHOUSECOM,
bartender all night. watch, order my drinks, and never makea
move-butsomewhere along theline, | make sure to tellher lama
bartender as well. Then we talk shop, and if things go well, make
aconnectionas we joke about the loaded losers coming onto
her l usually end up with her number by the end of the night. (Of
course, lalwaystipher very welll)
One night! was out with one of my buddies and the bartender
was a gorgeous blonde. Like every other dude at the bar, my
friend was trying to hook up with her. But she kept smiling politely
and teling him, like shetold the others, that she was married, |
could tell by her body language that she was lying. (That's the
oldest trickin thebook-it prevents customers from feeling
rejected and keeps the tips coming)
When my friend realized he wasn't getting anywhere, he split |
stuck around until the crowd had died down, then casually asked
what her husband's name was. She hesitated, trying to think of a
name, and | smiled. She knew | had caught her andi told her how,
as a bartender myself, hadused the same ploy. She laughed, we
talked, and she took me to anafter-party-and finally, back to her
place. Ididn'tgethome tlleight in the morning.
Basically, the best place to bartend is ina good restaurant.
People who goto classy places always tip well, but the real
benefit for me is waitresses. If there's one thing Ive learned,
¡tsthat waitresses love to hook up with bartenders. thinkit's
because you are busy working together all night but never have
achance to really talk. You're both rushing around, dealing with
the same kindof assholes, so you have something in common
right off the bat. Before you know it, she is getting all close to you
behind the bar when she orders drinks for her table or leaning in
to whisper something funny about a customer.
There was this one waitress who was really wild. She had long
red har and wore tight, sexy blackjeansanda men's white shirt
with most of the buttons undone, She'd grab my waist as she
walked past me behind the bar, or bend over in front of me so her
thong would be exposed, knowing | would salivateover it It got
tothe point where every time she was near me, I'd get ahard-on
Опе night when she was waiting for an order, sheleanadover
and whispered in my ear thatshe'd hada dream that [d fucked.
her right thereon the bar. could hardly concentrate as she kept
coming back with more orders, knowing full well what she was.
doing tome.
After an hour or so, had to goto the supply room to get some
cocktail napkins-and she was there looking for something as
well. Webegan pawing at each other and making out crazily
before she insisted we get back to work.I promised to make her
dream cometrue later.
went back to the customers, wondering if there was lipstick
smeared on myface and wanting to scream at thetop of my
lungs. "Everybody get the fuck out!" Instead, kept mixing drinks
and tried not to make itobvious how much wanted to ravage the
waitress every time she came within ten feet of me.
When we finally closed for the night, the whole crew was
supposed to stayanddecorate for a partythe next day, The
waitress and |toldeveryone that we could do it on our own,
trying to be casual aboutit- we didn't want anyone to think we
were trying to get rid of them. But we didn't have to pretend too.
much—peaple couldnt waitto go home.
After locked the door, turnedaround and saw her standing
on the bar hanging some paper streamers, knowing exactly what
was about to happen | pulled her down to kiss her, and just ike in
her dream, we ended up doing it right there on the bar. still can't
believeit happened and as long as | worked at that restaurant,
even after she moved on, | could never look at the bar without
thinking of what we did onit.
Asl said, being a bartender isa great job. And going to workis
зо much better when you know you'llget tobonea hot waitress at
the endofthenight Oia
CollegeHumor
How to seem like a better person without actually doing anything
By Amir Blumenfeld, Ethan Trex, and Neel Shah Vel Л
Photograph by Nick Ferrari .
RESTAURANT ETIQUETTE
Your normal manners will work fine when you're eating ata
‘Wendy's, Denny's, or anywhere else ending with ys, but when you
goto a fancy restaurant, its time to break out what you learned in.
those etiquette classes. What? You didn't take etiquette classes?
Shit, this is bad, Thisisrealbbad, Okay, calm down... We'l figure
‘out something, Just breathe, We're going toget youthrough this.
Themost important thing to remember about table manners
inafancy setting isthatthey're mostly a combination of rules you
already followandcommon courtesy. Some parts are tricky, but
for the most part it's apretty straightforward system. Continue
not chewing with your mouth open. Say “please” and "thankyou"
And remember these little tricks to seem really dignified:
+ Ifyouanswer your phone at the table, you should be forced
to eat at IHOP for the rest of your life. This includes texts and
anything BlackBerry/Treo/Q-related. It can wait untilafter
dinner, you self-important jerk.
‘© General rules: smaller forkisfor salad, small spoon by the top
of your plateis for dessert. Anythingfancierthan that should be
‘explained by the waitstaff or brought out with the individual dish.
e Makea reservation wellin advance, and ifthe restaurant doesn't
calito confirm the day before, take matters into your own hands.
чю PENTHOUSE CON
Nothing's more embarrassing thantakinga dateto aplacethat
has lost yourreservation. Well, besides getting an obvious.
boner while being told they lostit, but that probably won't
happen. unless you have an inconvenience fetish.
© The giri will always offerto pay her share, When she does, wave
your handandsay no.If she continues to protest, look her dead
intheeyeandsay, "Bitch, Iwillsityour throat with this butter
spreader if you dont drop this fucking charade right now” She'll
let you pay. What a gentleman!
* The adage that you can telif someone's nice by how they treat
waitersis beyond cichéd.Butif you pay with a creditcard,
your date wil sneak a look at the tip, so even if you've been
super-pleasant with the waiter, you're going to lose points Ifyou
leave ten percent. And "1 thought that was 20 percent" isn'ta
very good excuse—now you're bad at math in addition to being
ajerk.
(GETTING CALLED BY NAME
Walking into a fancy restaurant and having the maitre d' and your
waiter address you by name quickly establishes your statusas
someone who's worth knowing, andit doesn't seem like bragging
since you're not doing anything. Your date will be impressed if
this happens—but unfortunately, you're not the kind of VIP who
CollegeHumor
YOU CAN BE BRAVE AND
ASK THE SOMMELIER FOR
A RECOMMENDATION.
AT THIS POINT, SUBTLY POINT
TO THE CHEAPEST BOTTLE.
warrants this treatment. Stil, you can get it if you plan ahead.
On the afternoon of your date, go into the restaurant, introduce.
yourself to the maitre @' and, if possible, your waiter. Give them
ата! tip, around $10, and explain that you havean important
date later on and would ike to be called by name if they don't
mind. That night, when you walkin with your date and everyone
knows you, you might as well havethem call you "Mr. Awesome,”
because that's what your date wil be thinking,
‘oROERING wing.
Ordering wine ina restaurant, particularly on a date, is a fairly
daunting process. Since every bottlehasat least a 400 percent
markup, you know you're getting ripped off and will be paying
40 bucks for a$10 bottle of Shiraz you could have drunk at home.
Youalso don't wantto order the cheapest thing on the menu
because evenifit's good, you will look stingy. Restaurants know
this, and they twist your arm. How do you avoid the situation?
Theeasiest way to order is to make sure your date doesnt see
the wine list and just get the cheapest bottle. Unless she knows
about wine or it comes in a plastic jug, she probably won'tknow
it's cheap. Plus, most nice restaurants bring one wine list to the
tableandgive itto the man. Score one for outdated gender roles
‘and run withit.
Ifthe entirewine listis given to both of you, you can still get
away with ordering the cheapest bottleif you think ahead.
Immediately look at thelistand say, "Hmm... how odd." When
sheasks what seems odd, just pointoutthat the wine listis very
oddbecause they have a top-flight bottle at the bottom of the
price list. Then spout a made-up fact aboutit, such as, "They must
‘Ra PENTHOUSECOM
beconfused because 2003 was a great year. They must have
mistakenit for the 2004, which was kind of one-dimensional.
Great, now you don't look cheap, just smarter than the sommelier.
If your date knows what she's talking about—which can
happenif, say, you go out with avintner's daughter—you can
give up and order beer or cocktails. You can be brave, though,
and ask the waitress or sommelier for a recommendation, At
this point, you should subtly point tothe cheapest bottle on
thelist. An experienced waiterwillpickuponthis itle teland
recommend that bottle, probably by saying its a great value or
really underrated. Remember totiphim well
When the wine comes, you're faced witha whole new
roadblock the ritualistic opening of the bottle by the waiter.
Thisisan easier process to fake your way through. The waiter
willpresent the bottle so you can see the label. If it's what you
ordered, nod approvingly. He will then remove the corkandhand
itto you. Unless you want tolooklikean ass, don't putit to your
nose. Allthat willell you is whether it smells like cork. Instead,
just inspect itfor signs of obvious damage that would ruin the
flavor by letting in air. The waiter willthen pour an ounce or two
of wine into your glass for you to taste. You're looking for signs of
spoilage, oxidation, or bacterial infection. Don't worry if you've
never tasted a tainted wine before: You will know immediately if
yougetone. Bad wine tastes like damp cardboard or worse, and.
itwil be tough notto spit tout. fit tastes like normal, good wine,
nod yourheadandsay something tothe effect of "Yum!" The
waiter will then serve everyone.
f youwant to go even cheaper, hand the waiter а note to the
sommelier. Your date will think you're an expert who needs to
communicate directly Have it read, "Dude, give you ten bucks
ifyoupoursomecheap vodka in a pitcher of grape Kool-Aid.
What? No? Okay. double or nothing if she doesn't notice." He"
Play ball and youll save some cash.
Tomakeit clear you have a refined palate, it's a good ideato
make the occasional, very specific complaint, This complaint
should indicate that your tongue can parse outthe ittlenuances
of individual ingredients’ effect on the overall dish. Don't come
‘out with something commonsensical ike, “This is salty or, "A.
bitbland Swing forthe fences with the hope that your dining
partner won't know enough to correct you." Wow, way too much
Cilantro in this!” or "Cuminis best when used in moderation, but.
apparently the chef missed that memo" Finally likening a dish to
anyofthe following В akiss of death: gas-station cappuccino, cat
food, or Handi-Snacks. (Note: These insults wil not workif youîre
actually drinking a gas-station cappuccino or eating cat foodor
Handi-Snacks)
IONTIFYING ABADBAR
‘ad Sign No. people behaving like they restillin college.
‘sd Sign No.2 really bad music. If someintoxicated female spills
her drink on you while gyrating wildly to "Girls Just Want to
Have Fun; say toyourselt/fthe next song В as shitty as this
оле, mout if the next song is “Sweet Home Alabama," “I Love
Rock'N'Roll” or anything that can be even tangentially
categorized as “Jersey rock" you should probably act on your
funfatwa.
Baé Sign Ne. x: Golden Tee. It's not so much the game itself, but
rather what playingitina social setting says about you. Namely,
"Hi. I play video games in bars because | lack the conversational
and cognitive skills required to communicate with members of
the opposite sex "Om
Maie Enhancement P IIs...
Advertisement
Is it a Hoax or Do They Really Work?
Dr.Daniel Stein, M.D.
1 wish tha a dollar forever patient or person
that asked me over the last few years about
increasing the size of “that certain part of the male
body The preoccupation with size that men have
is a mystery lo most women. The fact is it is
completely normal for most men to want to be
Tanger И doesnt maner if they are smaller dun
average, average, or larger than average. ICs even
tron fy experience tht guys Vat ae alt 100
ig, 0 big in fact that many women wont go near
them with a ten foot pole (sory about dat) sill
vant to be ge!
T vas so intrigued by this ct (hat started о do
research about бе "so called” male enhancement
pills ha came on бе market several yeas ag.
The concept бм simple pil could noticably
increase the size of a man organ seemed
plausible, but 1 wanted to know more had done
much reach over бе yam about cerüin
sexually enhancing compounds available, ю 1
believed the concept was sound that a pill could be
lio make a man ge.
My fist sk was to look at some of he ads Thad
seen in magazines for male enhancement. There
Were some amazing chims by many of these
makers. Му penonal forie was a cram that
claimed to make men instantly larger. 1 ad to
laugh ou lod when 1 read what it said. The ad
read, "apply cream, rub vigorously, watch it grow.”
thought for a minute and then decide you could
ри virwally anything on a man, including
сот, and if herbed vigorously it would
tow. Then here was an d fox a pill, at Г ken
Фу, would increase бе length ofa man by 3104
inches in jus a few short days (sony about the
short” comment.
Tim sory, but afer all those years of medical
school know enough about anatomy to know that
‘guy who is $ inches in length iit going to add 3
10% inches to his ie fiend unless he buysa rope,
ges a large brick, finds a bridge and. well you pet
the picture, At about this time 1 was beginning 10
think that perhaps these makers had found the
парі mixture of compounds 1 had hoped they
sight have
Asthe founder ofboth the Stein Medical Instat
and the Foundation for Intimacy, have spent most
of my adult life tying to improve men and
' pill that, if taken daily,
would increase the length of
a man by 3 to 4 inches."
women's sexual health. pride myself on being the
best medical doctor can be and my reputation is
important to me, So, when out ofthe clear blue sky,
1 got a call from the makers of Extenze, the leader
in male enhancement, wanting me to be in one of
their TV commercial, I thought, “Boy, did they
pick the wrong guy!
Little did they know that had done real research
into this concept and had recently looked at some
of these male enhancement products. But the
makers of Extenze seemed to be genuinely
convinced that their product really worked, and they
claim to have sold over 100 million capsules to men
all over the word. “Over 100 million capsules taken
by men” With dat single declaration, they had my
interest. Either Extenze really worked or these guys
were the world's greatest snake oil salesmen. So |
requested that they send me Extenze formula so 1
could review it, then we would talk.
u
1 then visited the Extenze.com web site, where |
found a page that showed the top twelve adult film
stars, all holding Extenze and endorsing it. | thought
to myself, "Is й possible Extenze actually works?”
‘The next day I received the proprietary Extenze
formula and there it was, virtually all of the
ingredients that I hoped would be in a male
enhancement product, 19 pharmaceutical grade
nutraceuticals. There was Yohimbe (which used to be
available by prescription only) L-Arginine,
Maca. all of it was there.
1 contacted the makers of Extenze the very next
day and asked them what they needed me for They
explained that they had а desire to have a medical
doctor in their T.V. commercials to talk about the
effectiveness of the ingredients in Extenze At that
momentan idea sprang into my head. I told them if
‘they would let me improve the formula of Extenze,
1 would do the commercial for fe!
Before 1 knew it | was working with their
"they claim to have sold
almost a quarter of a billion
capsules to men."
chemists at the manufacturing plant where we
‘added the most revolutionary thing to the formula
of Extenze, We added DHEA, also known as the
"mother of all hormones.” DHEA is the most
imporant human prohormone and is the
Probormone that converts ino testosterone in men,
DHEA levels decrease with the aging. Production
peaks in а man’s early 205, and declines about
10% every 10 years, Low levels of testosterone
Can lead to low sex drive and а smaller sex organ.
‘After a few more weeks of tweaking the formula
of Extenze, we were done. The new Extenze
formula has been selling even better then the old
formula, with over 75% of sales (o repeat
‘customers. Extenze has been on the market for 7
years and has sold almost a quarter of a billion
‘capsules to men all over the world, I. doesn't
matter if you're 18 or 80 years old. In my opinion.
Extenze can make you larger, harder and increase
both your intensity and pleasure and it is as simple
as taking a single tablet daily, Extenze is so sure it
‘would work for anyone that theyre sending ош а
five one-week supply of Extenze for nothing more
then the cost of a postage stamp. You can contact
them directly at 80046303031. 1 recommend any
man healthy enough to engage in sexual activity
should try Extenze. You have nothing to lose but a
lotto gain. *
A Pill That Can Increase Your Size!*
Just pay for the postage stamp.
800-630-3931
www.ExtenZe.com
‘Te tut taa oa ees eta by Fon Ing Amen Erde a
tila
1162120 000188
E j
Jinger
Yep, they grow ‘em bigin Texas. Twenty-year-old Jinger
Santos is one ofour favorite new buxom
beauties. She's exotic, erotic, and baring it all for you.
Photographs by Brett Bereny
RR PENTHOUSECOM
"Im not shy about nudity
or sex. | think | just
have high standards.
| like men who treat
me like a princess, but
they can't be afraid
to get down and dirty
when the time is right”
“I felt so comfortable at this photo shoot | loved the tropical setting and
furniture because the surroundings
complemented me—and | was able to complement them.”
Pu sc.
uS
WERELOOKING FOR THEHOTTEST
TOSEEMOREOF JINGER, VISIT
PENTHOUSE COM DINGER.
Thrila in Phila
Join us as we heat up the City of Brotherly Love's nightlife with Cajun-style food and an even spicier
clientele at the debut of the Penthouse Lounge and Grille. By Ed Condran Photographs by Julia Staples
National Geographic Traveler.
recently named Philadelphia the
“next greatcity" The home of Rocky
Balboa, cheesesteaks,andthe
angriestsports fansin the world
took another step in that direction
this past March with the openingot
the Penthouse Lounge and rile on
North 2nd Street. The airy, 12,000-
square-foot venue housesa luxe VIP
lounge with bottle service and an
upscale restaurantthat offers
Creole-accented cuisine.
Оһ andofcourse the sexy-chic
destination features smokin’ hot giris
who dance ona catwalk thatknifes
through the center of the dining
area. At the opening party, abusting
crowdof stylish men and women
were checking out the eye candy
while sipping premium cocktails and
moving toa bumping soundtrack
of house, techno, and eighties
rock." That's why we'reexcited
about this venture," says Joe
Dougherty, a partner in Philly Key
Promotions, which operates the
venue along with Penthouse. "This
isn'tjustaplace for guys. Checkout.
all the beautiful women here who
are patrons.”
‘August 2006 Pet of the Month
Olivia Kent, who was autographing
glossiesalong with October 2006
Petofthe Month Kimberley Rogers,
echoes Doughertys point “The girls
"THIS ISNT JUST A
PLACE FOR GUYS.
| here are beautiful, and that's what
| Penthouse isal about,” she says. "But
theyarent just amazing-looking, they
also dance really well”
| _ Thatsnotsurprising, since the
Penthouse Key Girl Dance Team
is made up of former Philadelphia
Eagles and Philadelphia 76ers
cheerleaders." We've already
performedin front of thetoughest
audience possible," says dance
‘coordinator Elizabeth Nichols, Andif
you're familiar with Philly sports fans,
you know she's not exaggerating
| “We're proud that wehave
the Penthouse name out front”
| Dougherty says. "Tm sure you're
| goingtoseeother Penthouse Lounge
| andGrilles around the country”
CHECK OUT ALL THE | Yewil-te second Penthouse
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN”
LoungeandGrille openedin Atlanta
in May. Stay tuned formore Oy
METHOD OF PAYMENT
Check or Bank Money Order
EMY уза | MC
AMEX |) DISCOVER
Credit card customers call 800-274-0333 24/1 ы.
û HOURS GF BONDAGE, SUBMISSION
"AND FORBIDDEN BLISS
Hino
ШШ
STARRING CARMEN LUVANA, JUSTINE IOLI,
NINA HARTLEY AND MORE.
‘WATCH STUNNING
LESBIANS FEAST AT
THE SURINE OR SNATCH!
ALL-EUROPEAN CAST.
194 MINUTES.
stam cuum:
Levi тїп. юлат
айгыр
EI
——
Monos
en
Кс
Seer
SEM
ann
AE
=
public places is always a
big turn-on, as the fear of getting
caught pumps adrenaine into your
veins—and that's the same stuff that
fuels sexual arousal! Start slow—begin
by fooling around with her in frontof
amirror ora video camera, then try
stroking her with your foot under the
tableat arestaurant. Have her give
youa handjob or blowjob while you
эге stuckintraffic. Once you ve gotten
those exhibitionist uices flowing,
youcanget more brazen and try it
anywhere you may be seen.
Movie theaters are perfect for
‘exhibitionist experiments. Pick a
dirty foreign fim the subtitles will
get her horny without much efforton
your part—andget busy in the back
row. Shemight get so inspired, she'll
want to star in your own homemade
production.
A picnic in the parkisnever
complete without some alfresco
porkáng. How aboutthe back of a
PENTHOUSECOM SS
ay car? You
can pretendto drop your walletand
duck under her skirtto findit;or if
there isonly one seat available and
panties,
lap until youboth
get off-way before
destination,
We —
Sexina confinedplacecan offer
intimacy. Remember the thrill
feltinhigh school when you m
nyourold
alithe way
athe st
eel? Make out ina tele
the expe
who prefer more breathing room.
Vator sex. There are two
between
come before security c
more difficu
whens
minute guys should
this scenario.
Thefeelof water
adds tothe sensuality of liquid
and her dripping-wet
aturn-on,too.
buoyant, helping:
with new
and:
you'vegot an Olym;
abathtub, Sometip:
‚ash away the natural lubrication
agina, so be sureto have
hand-forthebestin
aslow and steadystroke-that
also better for getting heroff.which
means youl get lots of wet kisse
notwithstanding the
onment, those hearty
‘WO PENTHOUSECOM
GET ON AN EMPT
ELEVATOR AND
HIT THE STOP BUTTON
MIDWAY BETWEEN
FLOORS. SEE IF YOU
CAN COME BEFORE
SECURITY DOES.
ШИШЕ
Theairplane bathroom is an overrated
place to have sex, not to mention
uncomfortable and potentially
tand:
both your lar
underandplay wit
starts. Get her dripping and let her lick
her wetness off your fingers. You!
arrive refreshed and happy—even it
the flight is delayed.
Ask Dr. Z
Toilet Training willikely return If that doesn’thelp,
Irecent gotintoaheavymakeout — | see your urologist toruleoutan
session witha very hot girland underlying medical cause for your
thought! wes going to get laldfor | erectile dysfunction.
sure as she eagerly accepted ту
invitation to go to my place. But Holding Patterns
after she went to the bathroom, she Mylast girfriend always complained
became really cold Shesaiditwas | that/never gave her any “afterplay:
because mytolletwas dirty Hell what | That made absolutely no sense to me.
dowomenwant-aguywhosinto | NowlamdatinganewgirlandIwant
themand knows whattodoinbed or | toavoid the same problem Could
someone witha pristinebathroom? | youexplaintomewhat the hell lam
supposed to do after we both come? If
Alot of women will never find out how | she/s satisfied, why can't just turn on
good you are in bed unless you clean | the television and relax a little?
that tolet—and, likely. therestof your
pad. While it may seem incredulous | Allwomen want lots of good
to most men that a woman would lose | afterplay.no matter how independent.
all sexual desire over a dirty toilet. lt — theyareorhow satisfied they feel
makes sense togirs. Female sexuallty | with the sexual acts that have just
'e dependent than male taken place. You can't blame them
sexualityon ambience; andwomen | for it. The female brain puts out SO
эе much more likely to transfer their | percentmoreoxytocinthana man's.
feelings about the environment to the Oxytocin is the hormone that incites
guy they are with. Your nasty tolet | warm and fuzzy feelings and make
made her seeyouasa dirty person, | women crave cuddling and kissing:
and nothing will make a woman run | thishormonalrushisa big part ofa
away from a guy faster than bad woman's sexualenjoyment. So what
hygiene. Ifyou want to keep scoring, | should you do during afterplay?Hold
start scrubbing! her.of course, and caress and kiss. If
you want to score extra points, tell
Muscle-bound. her how much you enjoy making love
Recently Ive startedtogosoftafew | toher. Youcan massageher back, or
minutes aftergettinga hard-on, often | invite herto take a shower wth you.
before/vebeenabletopenetratea | Whatyoucan'tdoisturnoverand
woman Andthemoreltrytokeep | snore, or ignore her and watch TV—no
my cock hard the softeritbecomes. | matter how much you want to.
Isthisproblemreiatedtomyage?
Andwhatcan/doaboutmyerections | Facing the Music
without taking Viagra? Nygiitiendisobsessedwih her
IPod=sheitens toit whle studying
Youare describing pelvic sta eating, workingout reading, even
NOTHING WILL MAKE | зетот оме ате | Restowsarherhesdphones whe
A WOMAN RUN mowes ortigntens his muscles making love to me. She clime shehas
AWAY FROM A GUY | muscles eraty sosibioodaway | tomuste Mind hatvery annoying |
FASTER THAN | tromtheerection Make sure you are. Howcan gether to put away the iPod
BAD HYGIENE. кшшшушиеәолаз teneo 007
your pelvic oranal-sphinctermuscles | Yourhoney seemsto beamusic
may make youfeelasif youare addict, so itis probably futile to
pumping up your erection, butthis | askhertoturnitoff.Instead, buy
actually causes it to go down Instead, | some speakers for her iPod and say
relax your musclesand your erection | you want tolisten with her, Make a
playlist for your bedroom, and offer
to download sexy songs for getting
busyoa
I WANT YOU
x x x
к x +
KKK X
TO IMPROVE
YOUR SEX LIFE
JOIN THE LIBERATOR®
REVOLUTION
WERE CHANGING THR
WAY THE WORLD MAKES
SHOW US YOUR.
SUPPORT, AND WE'LL
SALUTE YOUR LOVE-LIFE
WITH A GREAT OFFER:
FREE LIBERATOR
PRICED THIS MONTH ONL}
Wedont want to getall metaphysical
‘but the nature of existence is such
tnatallexperiences are fleeting. A
goodblowjob, though. stays with
you forever. Such isthe nature of this
‘collection of blowjob scenes in which
deep-throatingis the raison d'être.
Some of the hottest girls in porn—
Katja Kassin, Sunny Lane, and Gia
Palomaamong them-areincluded
right alongside new or lesser-known
babes, ike Paris Waters and Katerina.
Of the established stars, Shy Love sets
the bar pretty high eagerly taking her
partner's cock to the root, and Alicia
Rhodes is her usual stunning self.
swallowing fat black dick when she's
not slidingit between her sizable,
stacked rack. Not every scene in бире
is something to write home about,
but as they say, that's life.
Twisted Vision #4
(Red Light District.
From what we hear оле,
the biggest
‘drags about being a porn director
is selecting your cast members. But
don'tpity Michael Stefano, who.
took those proverbial lemons and
squeezed the fuckers dry by casting
hisown member in every scene here.
He starts off withasac-draining
dominance-and-submission scene
featuring current porno "it" giri-and
‘our Pet of the Month (seepage 76)—
Sasha Grey, whois what weinthe
‘business calla"screamer” Once the
lame psychodrama is out of the way,
the real fun begins. A blindfolded Grey
servesupa no-hands B.J. of acaliber
mostmen can only dream about,
‘chased witha booty-shakingfuck
session that shows why the porno.
‘establishment is eating her up.
Denice K.. Mia Rose, and adorable
blonde Aubrey Addams also turn
insolid performances Addams, in
particular uses her innocent looks
as a delivery system for some solid
fucking. Our only criticismis, Stefano
should take the money he saved on
‘male talent and invest ina boom mike,
since the audio tends to go quiet with
‘each siapoffieshonfiesh.
atleast onceinyour ifo
you've probably scored witha hot
but mentally unstable chick. Such Is
the plot here, where each vignette
revolves around hooking up with
horny, hitchhikirrho'swho fuck the
prey inmore ways than one. Chelsie
Rae sets the pace n the opener,
catchinga ride with Van Damageand
then copping a squat on his cock back
athishouse, ina scene punctuated
with some butt-burning anal. Rae
inds up moving in. naturally bringing
lots other friends into the bedroom.
Thingstakea predictably nasty turn
after Damage leaves her at his pad
the next morning (to share the story
of his conquest with his coworkers,
who have ther own tales to tel). An
outdoor sex scene with cover girl
Rebeca Linares in which the spicy
brunette starts off sucking dick and
ends up takinga roadside come shot
square in the puss & marred only by
bad sound quality. The Hitchhiker is
filed with hard-hitting sex scenes, and
44 | desoitetaking amonumentally stupid
EPEE | detouratineend,tsaride you'll want
TH | totakeatleastonce ota
7 BEST PLACE”
“The REMARKABLE thing is
how nicely topless dancing enhances
the eating of GOOD FOOD, and the
way
the “BEST GIRLS IN THE CITY”
“NYC Nightlife
“Robert's has some of
the “VERY BEST STEAKS
IN NEW YORK CITY.”
j = Frank Bruni - New Work Times
ў ЖЖЖЖ
ht “S STAR
Restaurant”
~ Metro TV - Naked New York:
STEAKHOUSE
GAT:
Appeal 25 Decor 22 Service 24
Very good to excellent.
Ideal for BACHELOR or DIVORCE Parties
—— M кшш иш.
2450002 OR EMAIL US AT INFO @ PECNYC.COM
ByLaura Leu
Diary
PSST SSSI SSSI SSS IDE EL
like Match.com and eHarmony.com
‘ask questions like Howdoyoulketo
spendaromantic evening?’ or What
isyourfavoritecolor? “he says. “But
geeks are looking for things like,
"What video-game controller do you
use? or ifthe other personis into.
Harry Potter or Star Wars." By asking
nerd-centric questions, the site makes
iteasy for the 20.000 members to
findsomeone with whom they can
share theirinner dork before they
Pork Koppel also created two other
niche sites, one for obese people
(B92B9com)andonetorgeezers
(Sr2Srcom) although anyone can
register. After all, there are plenty of
people who'd like to nail a DILF (dad
like tofuck) a TILF (teacher Td like
tofucio,or aGILF (grandmotherl'd
like to fuck).
Theopen-door policy does
not applytoalinichedating sites.
HotEnough огу prospective
members must be deemed "hot
enough’ beforethey can register
" ‘and browse other hotties’ profiles.
колук Applicants submit photos that must.
vr... get the site administrator's approval
SO É firstandthen pass muster with
= Only those witha score of eight and
E above gain access tothesite-and
lose alittle bit of thelr soul inthe
d process. Those who don't make the
Cut can always create a profile on
SugarDaddyForMecomand find a
woman who doesn'tcareif you look
Ikea cross between Steve Buscemi
Look no further than your laptop—your special someone is out there. | and awalrus—aslong as you shower
her andher dog) with Louis Vuitton
| Anyoneonthehuntforadateora Thereasonis simple: Not everyone Thelnternethas madeit possible
mate knowsit'seasy tospendhours ftsintoa standard moid, and most for people fromallwalksoflfeto
cruising the Internet for justthe right mainstream dating sites have such get lid, no matter how big or small
Partner Whatbegan witha few all- — abroadrangeofrnembersthatits thor shortcomings. О-те a dwarf
Purposematehvmakingsitessuch difficult to satisfy specific tastes. Its mighthave a problem approaching a
as MatchcomandFriendFinder — — thesamereasongaysgotogay bars womanina bar when he only comes
‘com.has evolvedinto aglutof niche and frat boys go to beer-pong joints: up toherhemine. Online, he can
dating-and-mating stesthatcater Socially we strive tobeaccepted, join LitiePeopleMeetcom and be
ioamosteverytypeofindividual and that's much easier when you're muchmoreconfident meeting ladies
imaginable. Whetheryourea freak, — around people just ike you—or at because they reall athis eye level.
geek, dwarf fatso,orlusttoohottor least peoplewho share your fondness Awoman who hasten cats Inher
the average Joe/Jane, there's a site for leather and chains. apartment might turn off guys in the
or you. Even groups of people who Tatswhy self-proclaimed geek real world That is, unless they met her
oncafeitshumnedbysociety-or Spencer Koppel created the dating (and hercats) onDateMyPetcom
justcoudwtoetadate-canrow — steGeek2Geek(Gk2Gkcom). “Sites Tnesame goes for peoplewith STDs.
Use the internet to meetlike-minded Itcant be easy finding someone
and anatomically similar folks. AF T who's wiling to get busy with you f
From those missing something TER ALL THERE youhaveherpes but youret that
fjmeitseCinecionsconito ARE PLENTY OF бишен ышыне
thosewithalittie something extra _ th Herpes) sheknows what she's
(SheMaleLoveSearch com), the PEOPLE WHOD LIKE getting nto. The only problem with
тепала асова: — TO NAIL A DILE. A mestngsomeone on aherpes stets
ishistsout there, whip answeringthe question "So where
alt com. TILF, OR EVEN A GILF. didyoutwomeet? Ora
A PENTHOUSECOM
ASS SHE LIKES IT
Six months ago, I met this guy named
Evan while working out at the gym.
Evanknows alot about bodybuilding,
so westartedtalking about technique
and hanging out at a baron Fridays
after our workouts.
‘One evening while we were having
drinks, anincredibly hot redhead
walkedin. She looked about 30, and
was absolutely gorgeous from head
totoe,
‘Oh, man! Lookat that.” Igaspedto
Evanafter she walked past us. "Check
‘ut that beautiful ass!
Thehottie walkedall the way to
theend of thebar, then turned and
headed backin our direction. Then
shestopped right infrontof us and
‘gave Evan a kiss on the cheek. Evan
introduced her to me as his wife, Nola,
andi wanted to crawl under the table
and die.
Evan ust laughed as Nola sat down,
and wentontoembarrass me further
by informing her that had been
checking out her ass. Nola smiled and
saidshe had heard alot about me
from Evan and was pleased to finally
meet me.
We had a great time just hanging
out and talking for a couple of hours.
Nola seemed really cool, andseveral
times I thoughthow lucky Evan was to
be able to go hometo her every night.
When Nola got up to goto the ladies
room she whispered something in
Evan's ear. As soon as she was out of
sight, Evan said that Nola realy liked
me She wanted to know if! would Ike
to come home with them and fuck her.
Where did that come from? I nearly
chokedon my drink before asking
Evanifhe was serious. He was, and
saidthatwhile Nolahad been with
alot of other men before they got
married, he was the only one Nola had
ever let fuck her in the ass. Now, what
they both wanted was to videotape
Nola getting her ass reamed by
another man.
The offer was totally unexpected,
but much too enticing to pass up. |
told Evan that (fit was okay with him,
anything that involved Nola and her
fine ass was cool with me.
When Nola returned, she could
tell by the grins on ош faces that my
answer had been yes. Then she smiled
at me, promised me a night rd not
soon forget, and sealed that promise
by kissing me like a long-lost over.
gladly picked up the bar tab and we
drove to their house.
They led me straight tothe
bedroom, and while Evan set uphis
digital camera, Nola andi took off our
clothes. feasted my eyes onherbig
tits and large pink nipples, and finally
‘got to see that beautiful ass of hers in
the flesh I couldnt waitto drive my
cock inside.
When Nola saw my cock standing
at attention she said, “lam going to
besohappy by the end of the night.
Comehere, Aiden, and suck my
pussy" Then she lay down onthe bed
and spreadher legs
1 dove between Nola's thighs,
lapping at her wet. delicous cunt
asshe held me tight toher “That's
it, baby! Eat it good!” she groaned. |
EVAN MOVED
ALONGSIDE US WITH
THE CAMERA,
URGING US ON,
PROPELLING HIS WIFE
TO ANOTHER ORGASM.
liekedher cunt untilher body quaked
with her release. Then, pushing me
Баск on the bed, Nola straddled me,
sat down on ту cock, and fucked.
‘me until she came again. I could only
hope that her next move would be
toallow mein through her backdoor,
because | was soclose tothe edge
that didn't know how much longer!
could hold back
Nola lifted herself off my cock
and grasped itin her hand. Then
sheinstructed Evan tozoomin fora
close-up of my cock inher ass. While
she slowly lowered her ass onto my
cock, the room filled with Nola's cries
of pleasure. “Oh, God! This feels so
good!" Nola screamed. "Your dick
feels wonderful up my ass!"
Nola wasnttheonlyoneenjoying
herself. That initial entry was so
amazing, | had to grip her hips so she
wouldn't move for aminute.'d only
Just madeitto the finalfrontier,and I
didn’t want to come too soon. took.
afew deep breaths to steady myself
before letting her move again.
When! gave her the go-ahead,
Nola began to move slowly up and
down the entire length of my cock.
Nothing hadeverfeltso hot and зо
tight. She gradually picked upthe
pace and began rubbing herciitas
‘Ws PENTHOUSECOM
I THREW THE PUCK AND
MANAGED TO BACK
UP RIGHT INTO ROSS
AND HIS HARD-ON.
sherose and fell faster and faster.
Iwas so wrapped up in the
moment, rd forgotten about Evan
unti he said, "That's it Nola, go for t!
You look so hot!” His words seemed to
spur Nola on as she vigorously rubbed
her cit and met my upward thrusts.
Evan moved right alongsideus with
the camera, catching every thrust,
urging uson andpropellingherto
another orgasm.
“More!” Nola screamed as she lifted
her ass from my cockand got uponall
fours. "Give me morer"
1gotbehind her and buried my
aching cockinto Nola's tight ass,
driving it deep and hard into her
bottom "Oh, Evan! He's fucking my
ass so good!" Nola cried out. "He's
making me come again!" Sheshook
and slammed herself back against
my cock and then it was my turn to
have the most incredible orgasm ever.
Trusting one last time and holding
my cock deep inside Nola's ass, my
entire body trembled with pleasure as
Ishota hugeload of come into hor.
Thenight didn't endthere. After
setting the cameraona tripod, Evan
joined Nola and me ina threesome
that concluded with Nola getting
double-fucked for the first time.
Thethreeot us have gotten
together many times since, but for
me, the highlightis always Nola's fine
ass—AK, Louisiana
EXHIBITION GAME
My husband Eddie and have been
friends with Ross and Tina for years.
We'vepartiedtogether,vacationed
together, shared hotel rooms, and
have even changedin front of one
another on occasion, so when think:
about what the four of us did one
night, guessit makes perfect sense.
We'd just finished dinnerand.
decidedto hit up a local barto play
tableshuffleboard. The place was
fairly dead fora weekend, and the
back room with the shuffleboard
tablewas empty.
Ishotagainst Ross while Eddie.
and Tina played at the other end of
the long table. Ross has always had
athing about my ass. oras long а!
can remember hehas never missedan
Now there is an All-Natural non-prescription pill to give you
Bigger, Thicker, Longer Penis!
let serious about having the biggest thickest,
longest penis possible. Dont waste any more
time on cream sprays or products that have not been
proven Start seeing real results today, take XOMAX
now! Women will crave your new penis Me never
before You don't have to wait months, weeks or even
days to got the results you want Yo start to see
noticeable gains with your very frat dose.
This new highly concentrated formula makes all the
difference in the world. Never before has there
been an allnatural formula that works as fast and.
effectively as XOMAX To increase the size of your
penis, you need a solution that works. You wont
find a more potent formula for growth and devel
‘opment of your репа -i proven!
XOMAX vas put to the test Ву comparing the three
leading brands of male enhancement pls to XOMAX,
the results were incredible! XOMAX wat found to
work 10 times faster, with size increasing 3 mes
more than the competition. Don't waste your time
5 > КА |
DVD WITH
Ren NM
and money on products that dont deliver Get a penis
‘women wil crave and men wil envy with the best
super concenerated formula -XOMAX.
Youll be the envy of every man. With your new.
extra big hard penis, youll be able to penetrate
deeper and fi your sex partner with satisfaction
she's never had before. You'l have no worries of
premature ejaculation or going soft, your confi-
dence wil skyrockee with your bigger, thicker,
longer penis.
100% Natural penis enlargement!
Add inches to your penis in days!
Become a SUPERSTUD!
Got the big penis of your dreams
You can have a SUPER penis.
2H, ту пате is Mike. 1 кет To ий уж ow.
Abro 1 am чи your product ТО Pre trod
жану oiber pil and they dos! work as ul at
AONA My jf отыз! at e diference т cur
umm Acidi Ql
Call Any Time
Fax: 239-643-2356
Www.xomax-man.com
Free 30 Day Supply ‘see Derails Below
How soon do you see resuks ?
Most men see results with their first dose and
increasing resuks over 60 - 90 days
‘Are the results permanent!
For most men, # Xomax is taken continuous
у for three to four months followed by a main-
tenance program the results are permanent
How much growth can | realistically expect?
Up to 5 inches or more with a increase in
width of 50%
ls Хотах natural?
Xomax is 100% natural, safe and Doctor rec-
‘ommend for those looking for advanced penis
‘enhancement, plus Xomax has no side effects
What makes Xomax the #1 natural penis
‘enhancement formula?
Xomax has a highly effective proprietary
blend of concentrated nutrients, These natural
compounds are amazingly stimulating to the
mole penis, You wont find a stronger blend of |
Putrients in any other male enhancement prod-
et The reason! Xomax contains extremely
‘expensive imported ingredients and many manu-
acturers wont spend that kind of money.
Instead, they pass off less expensive ingredient,
such a Ginseng or low end forms of L-Arginine,
ls Xomax guaranteed to work?
Хотах в 100% GUARANTEED! If you're not
¡completely satisfied, return the bottes) within
two months to receive а refund. Men now have
an effective way to increase the size of their
penis. Why pay for imitations that will not solve
the problem! You may spend a little more оп
Xomax, but the results will be worth it You
‘often get what you pay for. So remember that
the genuine ingredients in Xomax are GUAR-
ANTEED to work! Order today -the best
money can buy!
— CALL TOLL FREE 1-888-247-4179 —
Check payment mesos
Beck Money order O Cash
amm GE A
Card Number
po
Name:
Sweet
‘opportunity to giveitalittie pat. But
‘on this night was wearing a miniskirt,
‘and! knew thateverytime lleaned
‘overthe table, Ross was getting
an eyeful. Sowhenhe accidentally
brushed his hand over my panties, I
shothimalookovermy shoulderand
said, "Iwas wondering how long it
wouldtakeyoutocopa feel"
To get even when it was his turn to
shoot, grabbed his ass and asked,
How does that feel?" Ross just
winked at me, interpreting my grab as
free pass to touch me every time he
gota chance.
Butit was all in fun, and when
Ilookedacross the table, there
appeared to be an equal amountof
goofing and grabbing going on at that
end. Thenext time | bent over, Ross
copped more than a quick feei-his
fingers lingered on my silk-covered
derriere. Iwas starting to really enjoy
our little game. On my next turn, |
threw the puck and managed to back
uprightinto Ross andhis hard-on. "I
feels like you're really happy to see
me, Ross!" told him.
He gave me a devilish lock and
smiled. was starting tofeela little
impish, and knowing he was hard
‘and horny madeit that much easier
for me toteasehim. When it was his
‘Wa PENTHOUSECO
EDDIE WAS STANDING
RIGHT BEHIND TINA,
AND FROM THE LOOK
ON HER FACE, THEY
WEREN'T JUST PLAYING
SHUFFLEBOARD.
turn, slowly slid my fingers across his
ass. He looked over his shoulder and
said, “Don't start something you can't
finish Kat”
I gave his ass a firm squeeze and
said, “Ithink you'rethe one who
startedit” My hand was stili resting
ол їз ashe threw the puck. When
he turned toward me, my fingers slid
around untill was touching his hard-
on through his pants. He didn't pull my
hand away, sol let my fingers tracethe
shapeofit.
| was getting wetter by the second
as al kinds of thoughts raced through
my head. When it was my turn to
shoot. felt his fingers side across my
ass again. but this time they continued
lower. lopened mylegs alittle more,
pretending to steady myself, but
really just giving him better access.
When his fingers touched my silk-
covered pussy, almostlostit
Itfeeislike you're happyto see
me, too," he said.
moaned as his fingers pressed
the silk between my labia. | reached
back and rubbedhiscock. ready
forhimto take me rightthenand
there. The fact that my husband and
best friend were across the room
messing around themselves—and
that someone could walkin at
anymoment-only made it more
thrilling.
I was still leaning over the table,
pretending to line up my nextshot,
when looked down toward the.
other end of the table. There was
only onelight above the table, and
itwashardto see clearly inthe
darkness, but Eddie was standing
right behind Tina and fromthe
look on her face, they weren't just
playing shuffleboard. Then feit Ross
fumbling with my panties; when he
sid a finger into те, I almost came.
l reached back, unzippedhis pants,
‘and started stroking his dick, Now
itwashisturnto moan asi slid my
fingers from base to tio.
"God, Kat, that feels so good,
could come inyourhand; he
moaned,
Ifyou do that, youll miss the
hottest pussy ever” whispered. |
continued to stroke his stiff cock but.
Iwas so closeto the edge that knew
we had to stop, or atleast slow down,
before we both came. Eddie and
Tina had already retreatedto the far
‘comer ofthe room. Eddie was sitting
inachairand Tina was straddling him,
and every nowandthen heard one of
them moan.
Iturned around to face Ross and
we finally kissed for the first time. |
suckedonhistongueas! guided his
cock between my legs and rubbed
the head against my soaked panties.
Webroke our kiss and I let Ross pull
ту panties down so could step out
of them. Теп braced myself against
the table with one hand, raised my
leg, hookedit around his waist, and
guided him between my legs with
the other. When he grabbed my hips.
and impaled me on his dick! moaned,
“Ooh, yeah... that's what! want!”
Wequickly got arhythm going,
with him pumping hard and me
pushing back to meet his strokes.
His breath washotonmyneckas
he worked to hold me tight while
tivustingintomo. Then he saidhe was
about to come but didn't want him.
toclimax without me, sol quickly slid
my hand between my legs and started
rubbing my clit hard.
"m coming, Ross. Come with me,
now!" hissed.
He thrust into methreemore
times beforehe groanedand held
me so tight, I could barely catch ту
breath. We stayedtogether with my
Pussy milking him for every drop,
unti he slidoutof me and headed for
the bathroom Itried topull myself
CALLTHEPETS!
IfyouwanttogettoknowPetofthe
Month Sasha Grey—or any of our
Pets-callthePetHotineat 800-946:
PETI(738 Ourvixens can't walt to
tellyouallabout theirivesandtheir
fantasies Callers must be 18or older
Costis$0.69/minuto
Penthouse.com has more than 30
years of your favorite Penthouse Pets,
Penthouse videosin DVD-quality
downloads including the infamous
Coligula-and anarchive of sexy letters.
Goto Penthousecomtoday fora free
preview.
METHOD OF PAYMENT
Check or Bark Money Order Sov то cash ¢ COD
ounces ува (]c [ AMEX эбин
VISIT¡US ONLINE AT. allalmeVe con?
ший
!ADAM&EVE РО BOX 900 DEPT. PH963 CARRBORO, NC 27510
PENTHC
MAILBAG
Foriormatoncal 21:302 вок
Е А
Penpals, Love, Marriage!
Free color pao brochure!
Oaks, Ca 91362 (805)492:80%0
through our Mailbag special
advertising page.
To reserve your space, and
for further information on
rates and availability, call Jack
O'Neill at 212-702-6106 or email
joneill@pmai.com,
together. When! looked up, Tina was o,
standing in rontof me.
“Ym surprised the entire bar didn't
comerunning in here," Tina said.
"You'rekind of noisy you know?
{smiled and then looked her over.
"You'relooking alittle disheveled
yourself giri” said as tucked my
panties nto my bag.
"But youhaveto admit that was
funi" Tina said. "Next time, you'll have
tolet Ross godownon you. He loves.
toeat pussy. and he's damn goodat
it. too! He'llhaveyou jumping all over
the place. And justfor the record,
your man's no slouch either KG.
Louisiana oime
Certification: Therecords,
ifany, relating to any images
inthis periodicalrequired tobe
maintained by 18 U.S.C. S 2257
and 28 CFR.5 75arelocated
attheoffice of the producer,
2 Penn Plaza, Eleventh Floor,
3 Suite 1125, New York NY 10121, M.
0 Rothenberg, custodian of records.
ED Date of publication: June 12, 2007
150 PENTHOUSE CON
HEY GUYS
"SPECIAL SERVICES
el Kaplan's
mis Enlàr: —
Jin Singles Vacations
O Nieren ind colombia
EMAILBAG
Reach nearly 3.5 million readers through our exclusive
age. For information call Jack O'Neill at
212-702-6106 or emailjoneill@pmgi.com
INCREA
ORGA
VIAGRA ш.
Cialis LEVITRA e
800.251.174 Sa DL
www. уіатеіс сота scene sen
3 custome
YOU WILL
Works Everytime, Long Lasting Results
Available now at 877—419—6757
hedidn'tuttera word of
dialogue, but her lead role in
the1972art-house feature
Behind the Green Door made Marilyn
Chambers aninstantstarinthe
fledgling pornindustry. Whippet-thin
and witha wholesomeness that belied
her carnal ferocity, Marilyn proved she
was as sawy as she was sexy. Before.
filming Green Door she asked for ten.
percentof the film's box-office gross,
which reportedly netted her at least
S2million.Followingup the next year
with Resurrection of Eve, she became.
152 PENTROUSECOM
WHIPPET-THIN AND
WITH A WHOLESOME-
NESS THAT BELIED
HER CARNAL FEROCITY,
MARILYN WAS
AS SAVVY AS SHE
WAS SEXY.
known around the worldforhaving
a shaved pussy accented witha gold
labial ring; performing live sex shows.
where fisting and the occasional
police raid were both on the bill and.
giving media interviews in thenude—
even for radio.
Thenew breed of celebrity known
as the "pornstar" began popping up
indaily newspapers, in mainstream
magazines, and on television In
what became knownas the Porno
Chic era-and Marilyn was at the
forefront. Whether she was talking
about exploring the limits of human
sexuality debating people's right to
see sexually explicit material,oreven
giving pointers on anal sex, she was.
ableto dispel the myth that women
who had sex on film were barely able
toconstructsentences. Andin the.
mid-eighties, when the quality of XXX
products began to decline as more
and more people wanteda piece of
the pie, Marilyn kept her standards.
high, adecision that accounts for the
relatively low number of films she
made during her reign as one of adult
cinema's true queens.
Chambers wasn'tcontentto spend
the rest of her career on her back,
though andwith the guidance of.
husband/manager Chuck Traynor —
whose previous creation was original
Porno superstar Linda Lovolace—she
established a more respectable and
potentially more lucrative mainstream
career witha Vegas nightclub act and
astarring rolein fright-flickauteur
David Cronenberg's1977 gore-fest
Rabid, But despite her ambition and
thenot-inconsiderable talent that
fueledit, Chambers returned to blue
movies, serving up performances
in several other classics, including
Insatiable and Up 'N Coming, before.
lendingher name and her fame toa
host of R-rated soft-core serials
Ultimately, Marilyn Chambers
may beoneof the most important
commodities of porn's golden age.
‘And while her decision to perform
sexonfilm was more pragmatic
than political the former Ivory Snow
detergent model accomplished what
few others have, even inthe 35 years
since. Marilyn proved that hard core
isn'tjustafim genre,it'sastateof
mind Oma
the review.com
„\Фрлким
in E on the night.
|
It's the clove...
Live Music Archive
Librivox Free Audio
Metropolitan Museum
Cleveland Museum of Art
Internet Arcade
Console Living Room
Open Library
American Libraries
TV News
Understanding 9/11