PLAYBOY

PLAY BOY

ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN

NOVEMBER 50 cents

PARIS "ROUND
THE WORLD

CALDWELL

PARTCH

WARSHAW Mc CLAIN

PLAYBILL

WE'VE JUST COMPLETED а survey of PLAYBOY'S Charter Sub-
scribers, and thought you might be interested in the result
As we suspected, the average PLAYBOY reader has a little
better education, position and income than his поп-РГАУВОУ-
reading brother. Our statistical experts* insist this doesn't
mean that reading PLAYBOY will make you a succes, how
ever. 115 just that successful men enjoy reading the mag
zine. that's all.

The single, most significant thing about the survey wa
the response to it. We sent out thoi nds of simple post
card questionnaires; there was по incentive for filling them
out and returning them except an interest in the magazine.

In dircct mail circles а response of 4 or 5% оп this sort of a

promotion is considered very adequate. Gentry whooped it
up a couple of issues hack because they came through with

an 11% return on a similar survey mailing. rLAYnoy's mai
g brought in a response of 48%). We spent a few years
magazine promotion before we got into publishing and
we've never heard of this kind of response before. All we
can say is "thanks," and we'll шу to continue making PLAY-
тоу worth such enthusiastic interest.

A majority of the Charter Subscribers turned out to be
professional men—2% are doctors (M.D. variety)—another

* А couple of guys we picked up from Literary Digest in 1936.

2% lawyers; 1% 5 are teachers (mostly
college level)—4%% are in advertising, publishing. radio, or
TV. This survey of rrAvsov's first subscribers turned up 7
corporation presidents, 14 vice presidents, and 12 miscel
lancous executives. There were a psychiatrist, and 3 psy-
chologists, a fire chicf, a mortician, 3 cmbalmers, a retired
industrialist, a cattleman, a minister, а night club owner, the
public relations director for a pro football team, a dietician
ап investment broker, a museum curator, an exotic dancer,

magician, a bank president, a supervisor of social workers.
and a television star.

A couple of issues ag

ested the

„„ a disgruntled reader su

average age of Релувоу 5 public was around 13 10 16. 19°;

of PLAYnoY's Charter Subscribers are between the ages ol
18 and 25; 49% are between 25 and 35; 19%, between 35
and 45: 9%, 45 to 55: and 4% over 55 years of age.
PLAYBOY readers carn more than the average. 13%,
the subscribers arc in college or service with carning capacity
9007, carn less than $5,000 a year; 456, earn
between 55,000 and $10,000; 22% earn over 510,000 а y
AYBoy's readers have more education than the average.
5%, of PLAYwoy’s Charter Subscribers had less than four ye:
ol high school; 19% are high school graduates, but went no
further; 32% went to college, but didn't complete four years;
449%, are college graduates.

18%, of

Опе of the rcasons for this survey is because we plan to

ages to advertisers within a very [ew issues.
We've purposely refrained from accepting any advertising
during the first year of publication; wanting 10 first create a
truly new and distinctive men’s magazine. Some few readers
have indicated concern, lest we turn PLAYHOY into а mail
order catalogue, or otherwise permit advertising to change
the contents and format of the magazine. Be reassured,

дувоу will con

Proper advertising will enhance the
ke it a better buy for the well-rounded
And since we're being kept by a wealthy

man-about-town.
widow and don't need the money, the additional revenue
will go into making PLAYBOY bigger and better than ever
before =

We've just received word that Leroy Neiman's illustration
for “Black Country” (September issue) and Ben Denison
illustration for “Fahrenheit 451” (April) have been selected

by the Chicago Art Director's Club for their fall exhibiti
of top magazine and advertising art.

You'll be pleased to know, bridge champ Bill Rosen's
article, "Tournament Bridge,” in the September issue, didn't
turn into any sort of a jinx. With the issue on the stands, his
team successfully defended their national titles in Washing
ton, D. C, and will again represent the U. S. in the intcr-
national bridge tournament in. January.

Last month's article on film censorship was far more
timely than we could have anticipated. Though we placed
the emphasis on censoring the human female, after Walt
Disney's Vanishing Prairie apparently female buffalo are in
for trouble, too.

This 12th issue features two regular rtAvmov favorites,
Virgil Franklin Partch and Erskine Caldwell. Vip offers
some new cartoon thoughts on men and alcohol, and Cald-
well weaves an August hot tale of three men and а woman.

Lovers of the open road will enjoy Jerry Warshaw's pen-
and-ink portfolio of fine autos, depicting over 50 years of
playboy behind the wheel. Two television personalities have

ped from video long enough to turn out entertaining
articles Jim "Dr. I. Q.” McClain on embarrassing radio and
TV experiences, and Roger Price on psychoues, psycho-
analysis, and such.
vom the left bank of Paris, Ernest Leogrande has sent us
“Persistent Nude,” a charm asy about a painter with
a problem, while rav paints a more realistic picture ol
Paris night life in its five-page photo-feature, "Paris ‘Round
The World.”

DEAR PLAYBOY

ARMIN AGAT
The attempts to justify and glamor-
ize your iniquitous РАДЕ аге as mis
erable as they are despicable, Sling;
mud at me, as you did in your answe
to my letter, will not do you any good.
The moral clean living people of
America know you lor what you are
and will not be taken in by the aspe
sions vou cast upon critics. 1
overjoyed to see that Mr. Wesley of
Calilornia supports my stand in re
10 your magazine, Also, I am sure that
countless others have writen to vou
to back me up. You have refrained
from printing their | d have
substituted instead those of typi

ters

wayward souls who are devoted to the
filth in your publicatio
wated bachelors and

women are to be piticd—the Devil will
have his day with them
1 urge you again 10 take

vour mag-

azine olf the newsstands belore it is
too kne. If this advice is not heeded,
1 shall have to take drastic action.
Yours for moral reform,

Armin J. Edwar

New Have cut
We thought we gave you a pretty
јап shake the first lime around. Ar.
min. We printed your етіне lette
end answered il as honestly as we
could. We also published, т а sub-
sequent issue, the опе and only letter
e received agreeing with you, along
th five of the тоте than tu
^ received that didn't.
One thing puzzles us, Your first let-
ter complained. about the July issue;
this time you mention our reply that
opprared in the August issue and the
other letters that appeared in Octobe
If you don't like An,. why the
hell do you keep buying it mouth after
month?
When we тесей

ed your first letter,
and

we assumed you were sincere.
though ше didn't agree with your

point of view. fell it deserved an air-
ing, After this last nonsense, we think
уоште just a wise guy who likes to
see his name іп print.

SEPTEMBER ISSUE
Your mber issue was not as
good as your other issues, In fact it
stunk. Hope you aren't slipping.
Donald Fletcher
Lubbock, Texas

ғ ADDRESS PLAYBOY MAGAZINE 11 Е. SUPERIOR ST., CHICAGO 11, ILLINOIS

BLACK COUNTRY
The September rrAvnov was quite
impressive throughout. 1 devoured it
on апі nd thought Charles B
monts "Black Country" was а
piece of work. | speak as a wr
(Saturday Evening Post, Yale Review,

London Argosy) and as an ex-jazz man
(trumpet and trombone). In the |
ter capacity taken with

the story's

Willard. Marsh
Си: Мех

ns on Charles Beau
unuy” in the Sep-
tember issue. АЙ the way down the
line, it’s a bener story than "Young
ld hope
membered

Happy hello from Japan! Somebody
s sent me your PLAYBOY, September,
‚ Surely it is wonderful! Beaumont's
story is very good.

Tetsu Yano
Kobe, Japan

Charles Beaumont is way а
ol my list of contempor:
1 think, too, that [его

ol the story.
Probably ters have w
ten about music as there are musicians,
but only a very select lew have cap-
tured the real feclings and emot
that drive a great artist. Here is a mas-
terpicce in jazz. It lives and surges to
jazz beat. As I read, I found ту feet
tapping the floor and my head под
ding to the tempo. One docs not mere
ly see with this story. he hears and
feels, just as surely as if he were at

the “Tropics” or the
This story is jazz.
AL Hathew
Laguna Bi
Since Al's letter was written on mu-
sic paper. we gness ће knows about
тиче. Author Beaumont agr ith
the reaction to the "Black Country
lustration (see below), and so does the
Chicago Art Directors: Club who've
just selected the illustration for their
fall exhibition of outstanding maga-
zine and advertising art.

Words fail, There have been bang-
up jobs and there have been bang
up jobs. but this time the dam ha
gone bust. To avoid stickiness and still
get across the extent of my enthu

les just say this: 1 have always
ion and I fre
quently ima lack Coun-
шу” would book like in its ideal pre-

Copper Club."

sentation; yet when D sux the беріс
ber issue of rü nov, I wasn't in the
least disappoimed. Far from it: I

found my im.
ly vivid enous

on was not near-

The illustration is nothing short
of perla. Neiman got
ficently all the pow

— I guess dynamism is the word — that
I wied t put in the story. Spool is
exactly right, exactly. Couldn't be bet-
ter. There's fury and hunger and. pa
sion—everything. It is the very heart
of the story, God bless the man. I
know he must have felt the writing:
such a picture couldn't be faked.

The cover—and the back cover=
knock you down and stomp on vou.
Mr. Paul has ouulone himself, For
all my eagerness t sec my ste I
stared at the cover for several minutes
before plunging in this alone

ought to demonstrate

in fact, it is not an
у that the whole issue
hievement of the highest sort.
outshines the other na
nd that there is no c
son (although this has been true. Гог
several. issues).

I your other re

10
lic
It so lar
E

ders are а tenth as
pleased with the whole thi is T
am, then you шау be sure that this
sue will become a collector's item in
no time at all. I couldn't be happie
Bless you all.

Charles. Beaumont
No. Hollywood, Calif.

3

PLAYBOY

RIBALD CLASSICS
The boys here at the University of
Missouri really go lor PLAYBOY, espe
cially the Ribald Classics. | use the
Playmates ој the Month to paper my
room. You would be surprised how
much they liven up the place. They
also draw quite a number ol visitors.
Rodger Egelholl
Univ. of Missouri
Columbia, Missouri

SPORTS AND SNAKES
тылуноу is the best men's magazine
I've ever read. It rates tops with eva
one where 1 work, even the women,
but please keep sports out!
Thomas С. Donnelly
Nearny, New Jersey

Keep the murder, violence, and
snakes out of rravsoy and it will stay
a great magazine.

R. Е. Hansen
Mt. Clemens, Michigan

lly enjoyed your feature on
Jane, Britain's beautiful comic strip-
per. 1 hope it isn’t the last we see of
her!

Chester А. Самск
Chicago, Illinois

Just finished read
ber issuc— Jane, Bri

Septem-
ul cu

you

toon ch Пу has it. More!
Moret
Ron Randall
Chicago, Illinois

Lets have more of Jane. She's ter

rific—beats Milton Caniff's Miss Lace
by а mile. How about а monthly fea-
ч

Clarence B. Henley
Chicago, Illinois
What is this, a Chicago Jane Fan
Club? 1f the little lady gets herself
into any more interesting predica-
ments, we'll report "em.

GINA
The Sept
ng. Let's have

ber issue was outstand-
ore of Lollobrig

James E. Scheiner
Kansas City, Missouri

LETTERS FA

Fin not going to start off with praise
for your magazine. I's great sure, but
dozens of readers write and tell you
that cach week. Rudolph Borchert, of

Columbus, Ohio, apparently doesn't
care for your Dear Playboy section,
but new readers like to know what

old friends of rLaysoy think of the
magazine. And you're great to print
the complaints along with the bun-
dreds af sincere words lor a job well
done. keep up your truly swell m
azine.

Mrs. Robert C.
Tucson, Arizon:

Grell

. S. This is a female who ‘scribed as
gilt for her husband. This gal knows
how to keep her man happy.

VIRGINITY

Your article on is one of
the cleverest satires rend in a
long time. Its so and so very
refresh to find а magwine that,

in your own words a couple of issues

ago, considers sex neither dirty nor
a sacred cow. More power to you.

Where did you dig up а name like
Frankenstein Smith"?

Charles Ols

New York, New York

When the virginity article first came
in, we were a little dubious about that
name ourselves, Charley. But it turned
ош to be legitimate, Smith is a direct
descendant of a bastard child fathered
by Dr. Frankenstein's famous monster.

Your September issue is the most.
1 don't know who wrote the article on
virginity, but he is the maddest. That
kat has flipped into infinity. Bring

him back from outer space and let
him write some more. It isn't every
day а man can pick up pleasurable

reading like that. It gives one a lift
in the midst ol all this worldly strife.
Ша а mans article and its great.
Lets have some more please.

1 would be unfair to Harry С. Gros-
by. Jr if I didn't give him a plug. too.
1 didn't flip as much with "Rolov" as
1 did over “Virginity,” but it was a
good piece of work sind I know there
is more madness іш that fellow than
Let him loose and ler
see what he can really do.

Your ташалте is the tops in ту
book — don't let it get 100 commer
cial Lers keep it the leading man’

Timothy B. Burgess, Jr.
Washington, D. C.
Гус just finished your excellent

September issue — one of the best, by
far, that you gentlemen have put out
amd I especially enjoyed. your ar-
ticle өп virginity
Id like to put in right here that,

as a newspaper man, I find your taste
in matters of layout, type choice, etc.,
Good magazine de-
scems to be a dying ап, and
лувоу is way ahead of most of the
publications being produced toc

L thought you might be interested
n a couple of additional. approaches
I've Томпа uselul in liberating sweet
young things from the burden of vir-
ty

First, there's the Big Brother Ap-
proach, especially successtul with girls

on the rebound, still sin the
blues over another guy. After you've
supplied a broad shoulder and à good

y to talk the
little something,

car, it is relatively
girl into supply
100.

Second, Гус always liked the News-
paper Reporter Approach. This
somewhat specialized, of course, since
it only works for newspaper report-
ers, but 1 found it especially succes
ful as a str journalist in

a position 10 ass self the task
of getting interviews with the most

s campus coeds.
just t your lovely
ү... face in the school paper

ine is corny, but it works, and the
reticent cin be won over by the
jous young reporter technique, with
| emphasis on the girl's scholastic
nens, important school acti
ities, etc.

ОГ cours

both of these approaches

require a lite practice and it would

be а good id

а to try them out first
cone who doesn't n

on
much.

My techniqu
"Le M she
— or practical

? Walk up
ys. "Yes,

you're

(Unsigned)

Salt Lake City, Utah

Your article on virginity was enter-
taining, but vou missed the one sure-

fire technique. For twenty-four years
Гус been he around making use
of and/or indulging in the approaches

you suggest and finally wound up us-

ing my own. I have six (6) black
books (no. five black and one red)
with around four hundred (100)

mes, addresses. and telephone. num-
bers. Approximately 66 2/367, ік de-
verable merch: with the rest
ade up өй emotional, semi-neurotic
nd slow-lire material.

Нату М. Johnson

Baltimore, Maryland

Well don't leave us holding our
breath, Harry — what technique ате
you using? We still have а couple of
blank pages im our own book that
we wouldn't mind filling.

СОМТЕМТ5 РОК
THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE

THE PERSISTENT NUDE—fiction _ „ERNEST LEOGRANDE 6

OLD TIGER— personclity .. ROLF MALCOLM 9

JERRY WARSHAW 11

BOXING ON THE ROPES—sports

JAY ARNOLD 17

RIBALD CLASSICS—fiction ... BOCCACCIO 20

BROTHER BOOZERS—pictorial "КОН. PARTCH 22
DR. 1. С. 25
MISS NOVEMBER—ployboy's playmate of the month .... 26

HEPHERD MEAD 28

“WAS MY FACE RED!“—article

BE AN IDEA MANI—sotire .

AUGUST AFTERNOON—fiction _ ERSKINE CALDWELL 30

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor 33
THE TREATING OF MENTAL ILLNESS—humer OGER PRICE 36
PARIS ‘ROUND THE WORLD—pictorial .. 39

THE PRIVATE LIFE OF A TURKEY—food ........ТНОМА5 MARIO 45

HUGH M. НЕ.

NER, editor and publisher
RAY RUSSE

L, associate editor
ARTHUR PAUL, art director
JOSEPH PACZEK, assistant art director

ELDON SELLERS, аду

ertismg manager

Playboy is published monthly by the HMH Publishing Co., Inc.
11 E. Superior, Chicago 11, Ilinois. Postage must accompany ай
manuscripts ahd drawings submitied if they are te be returned
and no responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited materials.
Entry as second-class matter applied for at the post ошсе ai
Chicago, Ilinois, October 14, 1954. Contents copyrighted 1954 by
HMH Publishing’ Co, Inc. Nothing шау be reprinted in whole or
in part without wrillen permission, Printed in U.S.A. Any similar-
ity between people and places is purely coincidental.
Subscriptions: In the U.S, its possessions, and Canada, $13.00
lor three years: $10.00 for two years: $6.00 for one year, in ad-
vance. Elsewhere, $12.00 a year, in advance.

Credits: Р. 910 UP; P. 26-27 Bernard о! Hollywood: P. 30 "August
Kltemcen" irom "We Are The Living, copyright 1933 by Erskine
Caldwell; P. 3637 Irom In One Head and Out The Other," copy-
Fight 1951 by Roger Price, published by Simon and Schuster, Inca
Р. 39-40 Graphic House; Р. 4243 Graphic House.

РЕЈ
Еч
po
>
UJ
©
6

vol. 1, по. 12 — noverzber, 1954

fiction

BY ERNEST LEOGRANDE

THE PERSISTENT NUDE

ми. AUGUSTUS was а tell
Street bank and painting
hobby. He had a black bowler hat
which sat on top of his head and a 1
Melde muh or which he sophisticated man-of-the-world, and
dasped his hands when he was think-
ing.

Twice a year — sprin;
gs went on exhibit in
Belle's Tea Roome with those

this was a situation to try even the most

mr. augustus certainly wasn’t that

» to her chaste apart
ment above the Tea Roome and they
would have an intellectual conversi-
i and the New

ions had only two
э nudes and no “mod-

absolutely
‚оте

tus would
lump ol sugar.

Miss Belle was tall and thin with a
She was not the type

e romantic not Besides,
Augustus had decided long belorc
it way less troublesome to remain

Nevertheless, in the spri
the trees in Washington Sqr
to have their m

when
re began
hiple births of tender

ke sketches of the tre

a the park and throw hi

ihly into a new land
This spring Mr. Augustus wasn't

sure just what his next pa

poing de be. He w

When the

to be
came to him,
ilishly cleve

(continued on page 18)

ILLUSTRATED BY ARTHUR PAUL

жочлчнта

H218 L ИМ

ANTA

“BP JUST SIT AROUND doin
ing and get rich

That's how David Cunningham Gar-
roway describes his Ше. And, consid-
cring the boneless way he shulfles
around ХЕС and the thousand
dollars he gets every week for doin
it. that sounds like a prety acur-
ate way of stating the situation.

Appearances, however, are proverb-

ially deceiving, Garoways weekly
check from NBC was at one time less
than sixteen dollars, and it wasn't ex
асу by “doing nothing” that hc
snuck up to the five grind bracket
The road was a little rockier than
that.
But not much, From Schenectady.
13, (the where and when of Old
"s birth) to the fair-haired boy
of NBC, 1951. it’s been а steady, low-
pressure success story

noth-

Fresh out of Washi on Univer-
sity in 1935, the young Garroway
nd published а Left eig book
on mispronounced words. While try
ing to peddle this literary effort to
book-dealers in New York. he was
impressed by the apparently easy life
f radio announcers in the city
He promptly got himself an announe
audition at NBC alon with
twenty-three other hopefuls — and
wound up twenty-third in the judges’
rating. But the radio bug had bit him.
so he took a job as an NBC page at
$15.65 а week, along with а young
voice student icd. Gordon MacRae
Garroway was soon promoted 10
guide, then guide-trainer, and eventu
ally did some routine announcing, He
ambled west to КОКА, Pittsburgh

further west to WMAQ, Chicago, and
then the war came alon He landed
in the navy, but still in radio: in the

middle of the Pacific, they handed
him а stack of records and told him
to make like a disk jockey

The end of the war saw him back
at WMAQ doing routine anno
ing and dreaming the Il Ainet
Dream of The Big Break. lt came
when che station decided то broad.
cast a midnight record show. Other
nnouncers begged off the Late assign
ment becuse of the difficulty c
muting. Garroway was third choice.
He lived just a few blocks from the
studio, so when they asked him if
he would take the job. hc shru
good-naturedly and said, “Why not

Thereafter, at twelve mide
dialtwisters heard a
blast from WMAQ. and the recorded
voice of Kitty Kallen singin;
Р.М. Then an easy-going guy

personality

15

ed them as “Funny Lookin’ or “Old
Delicate” muttered somethin about
this being The 11:60 Club and men
tioned that his name was Dave Garro-
way. Nightow! listeners listened closer
and radio history was made.
Garroway played records,
baued the breeze around, and с
ed а cozy vouandame atmosphere that
was easy to take in the wee hours.
His vocabuliry was on the bizarre
side. including, such double-take ad-
jectives as оте, gauzy, incandescent,
John Crosby, the radio critic, called
his way of spe “distracted prose
but Сатокауз audience loved it
They liked to be called "ОМ Tiger”
and “My So Unfrowzs. I they
liked the way Garroway the
sump ol his own taste to the
by playi records he
liked. When a girl wrote
g a Guy Lombardo plat
ter. Old Delicate himself quitely told
her. “We don't play corn on this
hassle, ће

OLD TIGER

THIS BASHFUL EXTRO
VERT HAS MADE PEACE
А THRIVING CONCERN

BY ROLF MALCOLM

Garroway admits he didnt truly
dig jazz until his friend Joe Klee in.
»duced him to the musical facts of
c. Klee was one of those pure jazz
hounds who could tell you the exact
date Barefoot McStomp’s Rhythm Ras-
cals cut their first disk or the real
»wdewn on why Wingy Manone’s
nemal grandmother hated onion.
soup. And it was Klees influence that
shaped Garroway's jazz tastes in the
formative days of The 11:60 Club.
When Klee left Chicago for the West
Coast, Garroway kept his memory
alive by mixing a recording of an un-
earthly Syrian chant right in with
his standard instrumental. selections,
announcing, “The vocalist on that
last number was Joc Klee,” and ask-
ing the folks to remember Joe when
placing their votes for best vocalist
in the Down Beat poll. Аз a result of
this gag, Joe Klee placed tenth in the
1916 poll—with exactly 69 votes.

Garroway also raised an unknown
ist to stardom, This time it
The girl was Sarah Vaugh-

irl voca

was по g

3

admired her
very much. Her early waxings received
major emphasis on
me spread thre
and from there to both coasts.
Sarah made а
the stage of the Chicago
е was there to introduce

an, and С

PLAYBOY

Theatre, D

that behind the i

sy going, m
be moved to

п he's pushed.

audience whe
of her skin tossed an
с. In an inst
microphone,
ly asking the elec
uidan to turn. up the house lights so
п who threw orang

ld find his way backstage
t out with Garrow

ehurler didn't

quietly but a

те nges were thrown
Vaughan or at anybody else.
Wroway is always ready to help

friend. Another well known
cago disk jockey likes to tell this story
about Dave and himself. The other
jockey (we'll call him John Doc) had
а lovely young lady іп his apartment
one night amd was trying to sor
The ch was flowing and s
were the honeyed words, but the lady
wasn't buying any. "What we need,”
Doe remarked, “is а little апо
»d music" and he turned on the
radio, Finding nothing suitable on
the air, he picked up the phone, d
led WM AQ. and asked fi
Listen, Dave.” he said. 7
doll in my room, but Pm not scoring.

I need some rom ic mood. music.
How about it?
А few minutes iner, Garroway

nounced, "Fm dedicating this next
number to my good friend. Jobn Doc.
Its called le Gor Those Scoring
Blues.” The L of course. was
thoroughly undone, and Doe

it turned the trick.

He was ma
in his career. As
а very eligible bachelor, his name was
linked with the irre Tallulah
Bankhead during hi "
and with televisions Betty Furness
after he moved to New York (Betty
found time between openi fr

erator doors to knit Mr. G a pair of

socks), but the best то bet in
Daves life is 5104 model
иу Berg, an uninhibited be

with a taste for strong langu:
hours, and the subject of this essa
The way Dave N
makes an interesting story
ways 11:60 Ciub had alres

him a fair sized reputation in the
midwest: Nancy was a gorgeous, but
unknown Chicago model. She didn't

know Old Tiger, but she wanted to.
So she rented a swank apariment,

phoned a number of Garroway's
friends and invited them to а part
i Then she phoned M
G. told him about the shindig and

who would be there, and suggested
it would be rather rude if he didn't
show at am affair being held espec
for him. Garrowa showed, а €
time was had by all. and things һа
been pretty crazy with the |
since (they now share the same psycho-
analyst.)

Garroway always enjoyed parties.
The boys around WMAQ still remem-
ber the time he got sentimental a
а historic old home Chi

on

N North Side. It belonged to 2
friend of his. and was going to be
tom down to make way for a parking
lot. He felt the old place. deserved

rewell party, so at about 12:45
one morning. ће told his radio audi-
ence all about it. "Come on around,

Doc" he invited. And ye
Ho Eyes. And bring some records

t anvthi
if vou. want
g that,

if you like, and if you w
to drink, bring it. And
hing to drink out of—bri

650 Tate-listeners
From Iino:
ld Wisconsin

came droves of jolly fans, including а
fellow who drank out of a Hower pot,

his

dex finger to plug the

roway spent his daylight hours
" or more of his various hobbies:

mechanics, gem cutting, tile

golf, photography. auto rac-

ing. cabinet making. star gazing, and
reading.

This was Old Tigers realgone pe-

L He dazzled the populace with
lcopard-skin jackets and ре Ке

fauver coonskin hats, building quite
а reputation as an eccentric until
turity and Biggie Levin caught up

h him. Under the management. of
Levin, Garvoway’s sartorial” splendor
me less splendid and more sober.
Now when sponsors get ideas about
m up in gimmicky clothes
amercials, they're чу by
head-shake and а but
friendly "Sorry. Doc: no funny
In April of 1919, the €

charm was subjected to the
of television, He was asked to
Sunday evening he
ісіне and comedy. Н
Tied the usually unruffled Garr
because he wasn't sure his intimate ap-
proach would stand up under the hot
fights. chalk marks, cables and general
ndemonium attendant on a tele-
ion show. He approached the pro-
ject with wet palms and a dry threat.
rooms

iche.
finn

for c
а саћа

pre-
of
wor-

le over
nusic, d:

А cymbal crashed. in үч
across the country, and the ТУ
camera moved slowly past an or-

chestra. playing Sentimental Journey,
to a tall. scholarly-looking fellow with
horn-rimmed glasses and a shy, toothy
smile. leaning against а bare piece
of television. equipment, What fol-
lowed made TV history

Garioway At Large was an immediate
success. It got along without a studio
udience. а fat budget. or exhaustive
chearsals. There were skits and songs
by a cast of talented. young people,

ге 24)

(continued on pi

p

[um

THE MOTORING PLAYBOY ico

The manaboutiown has found it far believe а horse had run out ol hay
easier to get abouttown since the in. Here, then, is rtaynoy’s salute to the
vention of the horseless carriage. And automobile industry: a portlolio of ink-
there is no denying, sparking was blot prints by Jerry Warshaw depicting
simplified with the introduction of the dhe progress of playboy behind the
spark plug, because a girl just wouldn't wheel.

PLAYBOY

g Ihe horse-and-buggy dandy took a back seat in the romance department when
the motoring playboy appeared on the sene in Henry Ford's new auto-buggy-

1905 MAXWELL Jack Benny had just turned 39 when John Maxwell and Ben Briscoe intro
duced this Model L runabout. Speed crazy playboys often hit 25 m. p. h.

12

AVEDY 1 1 The nation was arguing the merits of steam уз. internal combustion engines,
DEA | А , while шапу а playboy was making his own steam in Stanlcy's famous Steamer.

ST Un і | R ТШ By the end of World War 1, cars were taking on a modern look anil Air Corps
ћ ARU A T playboys were doing their ground loops around Gay Parce in the Stutz Bearcat,

PLAYBOY

1925 FORD Henry was producing 9,000 Model T's a day in 25. and on college campuses
throughout the country, playboys were attempting to make it all worth while.

1932 DUESENBERG Despite the depression, playboys who'd stayed away from high windows on Black
Friday were able to enjoy the many special features of the 1932 Dusenberg.

YU ‘The Second World War temporarily took the playboy's mind off automobiles
q AUR! and such, and the designs of 40 and "41 stayed around for half a decade.

STI VE M EY In the fifties. the playboy was really living again, zipping cross country at
i 1 AL 100-pluy in low-slung foreign jobs like the Jaguar, Porsche and Austin-Healey.

PLAYBOY

16

“In the book, they were like this.”

BY JAY ARNOLD

BOXING ON
THE ROPES

THs YEAR FIGHTDOM staged its most
fascinating, frightening spectacle
the spectacle of а шап beating
own brains ош. U. S. boxin
stand in the center of the ring.
à champion among хро

look too closely, yo

like
s. but il you
y. you'll sec the champ
is almost out on his feet.

U. S. boxing has never been more
popular. Millions of fans tune in the
fights four nights every week on tele
vision, Goastto-coast networks carry

the cards into every corner of the
counuy, But it is television thar is
slugging the bejeerus out of boxing.

with à big assist from the IBC

The IBC, in case you didn't know,
is the International Boxing Club, bet-
ter known in some quarters as Odo-

pus Incorporated. The IBC controls.
all the important boxing in the c
uy. because the IBC stages all
bouts that appear on ТУ.

To understand what's killing box-
you've got to irst understand
1 keeps it alive. As baseball relies
on the minors, boxing needs the kal

fight clubs. There was a time in
: less organized days. when an
independent manager could spot а
likely looking young scrapper. bring

him up through a serics of club fights
round the country. and if the kid
lly had something, the two of them
take а cack at the title. Хо

те
could
morc.

To begi

n with. most of the small
clubs arc either out of business ог
going out, The fans who used to sup-
port them now watch boxing in the
comfort of their own homes or at the
local bar. And even if à m
bring up a good boy, there's no in-

TELEVISION AND THE IBC MAY PUT THE FIGHT GAME DOWN FOR THE COUNT

centive in it because nobody lights
bigtime without an OK from the ТВС
and the IBC only says OK 10 the
red few.

^ rumored that Joe Louis got a
hunk of IBG stock Гог selecting. Ez-
zard Charles and Jersey Joe Walcott
as the contenders to fight for his va.
cated heavyweight tite. The IBC
night have gone on matching and re-
matching these two fine fellows for-
ever if a guy named. Rocky. Marciano

in't shown up unexpectedly. But
before The Rock could get a shot ar

tle. he had to trade іп his old

ager (a fellow from around his
home in Brockton) for a new onc. The
cw managers name was Al Weill.

who just happened to be а New York
matchmaker for the Internation
Boxing Club. The old manager went
to court to vy and get his fighter
back, He lost.

With Rocky in the picture, the IBC
was able to promote four more match-
cs and rematches with old friends Ez-
rard Charles and Jersey Joi

This rematching of rematches of re-
they is а very popular IBC past-
e. Light-he из Archie Moore
and Joey Maxim have had more r
turn engagements than Uncle Tom's
Cabin.

The IBC could save boxing if they
med to. They could put some of
their staggering profits back into the
local clubs to help bring up worth-
ile contenders, and they could offer

fights on the basis of merit rather
than money. But the IBC is interested
in boxing as а show, not а sport.

They're more concerned with а fight-
ег Nielsen Rating than his ability.

Chuck Davey is а near-perfect
ple.

Chuck was an amateur welterweight
at Michigan State when he was spot
ted by ТВС publicity man, Tom Ki

ls

Chuck was à. natural: good looking.
college kid, and а fair boxer. We
won't suggest that the build-up wasnt
legitimate. though there are some who
wonder aloud about a fighter who
кола all kinds of while
being readied for pionship

match, and couldnt punch his way
out of а soggy sack afterward (or ex
beat his own sparring partner). At
пу rate, even his most ardent sup-
porters will concede that Dave's op-
elully chosen. and
ıt when he finally wound up in
the ring with champion Kid Gavilan,
it suddenly became horribly apparent
that he didn't belong there at all.
What followed was усту. very messy.
Some fans point to champions
Rocky Marciano. Bobo Olson and Kid

ponents were ci

Gavilan, and argue that по sport сап
be in bad shape with men like them
at the rop. But they are all the pro-

ducts of local club fights. Bobo fou
58 bouts over eight у most of
them in small clubs in San. Francisco
and Honolulu, before he wen the
middleweight championship. Kid Gav-
Пап was in nearly 100 club fights be-
fore he took the welterweight title.
Rocky. Marciano, too, learned to fight

in the minor leagues of boxing.
Boxing was made a great sport in
this country by. scrappers like Jimmy
McLarnin, Tony Zale, Jack Dempsey
Barney Ross, Sugar Robinson, Tony
Canzoneri, Mickev Walker. All of
(continued on page 47)

17

PLAYBOY

PERSISTENT NUDE (continued [rom page 7)

It stood on а table іп his room.
He decided to paint the garden as
з actual landscape!

Не set to work immediately.
he sketched the g

First
den—a tiny tree,

а fragile pagoda, and а ting of flower
bushes surrounding a placid
pond.

Late Sunday alternoon—two days
later—as he laid on the ad

gre
blue pigment to represent the р
of the tee in shadow, something t
hold of his preoccupied state of m
It mised white, pink, and other со
in а vivid combination that glowed
wi sensual youth and

and he dreamily transferred

the oils
to the canvas, where they took on the
g (and shape-

атед to be а right le
y stretched out, bent seductively
at the knee with the foot placed
languorously on the grass by the pond.
Whom the leg belonged to was а ques-
tion vince it disappeared behind а
shrub just at the point. where. the
thigh began to swell into a hip. А
fraction more and the result w
have been catastrophic

Only when the leg was thoroughly
ained in did Mr. Augustus become
ware of what he had done. His brush
fell out of his hand as he stared at
the leg. It d ng there at all.
He hastily pulled the shades.

Ihe leg stayed there, its owner
hidden te blos

bush, It seemed to be sleeping-or
ting.
Although Mr. Augustus still was

not sure that he had done it, he made
no ellort to paint out the intruder.
Instead he threw on his and
clapped on his hat. From the door he
look back once mor s impossible
to see the picture

He locked his door
hands and ran to the cle

He went to a
Roome. Hc
s and black coffee.
me, he found ће
As for the coffee, it was foo
and too strong. He put h
on once more and went actos
the street to an Italian restaurant,
where he ordered a glass of sherry,
nd drank it down. By the time he
got back to the hotel, he felt a litle
tipsy and he smiled awkwardly to hi
sell.

He closed the door апа walked over
to the canvas. Nothing had chang
The tree was there, the bush,
pond. and the leg.

Mr, Augustus thought it a good idea
to go to bed at once. The wine had
made him lightheaded and besides
he felt chilled. He needed a good rest,
he was sure,

In the morning the a

coat

scrambled.
when the
! по appe-

ordered
But

arm went off.

18

He reached, his eyes closed tightly,
and turned it oll. He brewed his
ing coffec and dressed, keeping
es half shut. But as he was ng
he sneaked а peek, Something
flesh-colored. peeked back at him from
the canvas. He threw a cloth over it
and ran ou
II he could do to keep іп
nent the end of the
Once the dosed, ће hur-
through the emptying streets
у
m, he slowly
The past iwen-

пей
and into the jammed subw

Once more in his r
crossed to the
tefour hours had had
Чез of a dream, so that when he
raised the cloth he was prepared. for

saw.

It had been a
his imagination. the
He told him-

tion «
and the sherry.

disappointment.
inted in the leg.
it once

He wished he had р
He would like u
more before ће

Something like the shattering of a
globe of glass imposed itself. on
the room. It came again, It wasnt

Mr. Augustus made а slow survey-
al al the room from the one spot
as if he were on a turntable. His
eyes passed over the real miniature
garden and then came back. He
grabbed for the table to steady him-
self. There in the miniature garden
was a minialure leg extended from
behind a miniature shrub.

He looked back at the picture to
make sure. The leg was gone. Не
looked back at the garden. The leg

atched, it slowly withdrew
itself behind the curtain of the bush
and someone stood up. her he
peering over the grec
long. silken blonde ha
so small and delicate he could
make them
view

She was little, but she was not a
child. She was about as high as his

not
өш. She stepped into

thumb, 1 no clothes on at
all.

Mr. Au "Who-who
аге you? you

get in here

Again there wa
as the litle er laughed.
was not embarrassed. She made no
attempt to hide her nakedness. In
fact. she paraded it rather saucily. He
aw she was phrasing words, but she
was so small only the merest of sounds
came өш. like a pen scratching on

hment,

Gingerly, he reached over and
picked her up. She twined herself
about his fingers and looked up at

ihe tinkling sound

laughing again. Mr. Augustus
pped her on the bed as if he had

been touched by а charge of elec
ticity. For а minute she lay still,
her breath gone. He could hear the

soft hiss as her chest contracted and

expanded.

"Oh. Fm sc "o hé d. “I'm so
sorry.” He leaned over to touch. her
reasstringly but he quickly drew

back his hand when he realized there
was по place ће could touch her
where it was not improper. The girl
looked up as she began w breathe
normally and once. more she laughed.

There had never been a circum-
stance like this in Mr. Au lite.
He pulle chair over bed

id sat looking down at the iir
girl. She in turn rolled over on her
Stomach, cocked her chin in one hand,
and lay looking up at him

Mi. Augustus found it disconcert-
ing to be examined by a pixie or a
whathave-you — and a nude, female
one at that By all rights. he knew,

there were no such thi d how-
ever this thin ed to take
herself from the painting and put
herself into fact. didnt matte an

explanation. would be unbelievable,
He only wished she were one of two
thing: large enough to talk to. or
gone.

Ми. Au;

felt his mind reel
. Suddenly he grabbed her by the
waist and thrust her into the top
drawer of his bureau among his culf
links and handkerchiefs, He pushed
the drawer shut and turned his back
on it breathing unevenly.

"То tell someone about the girl or
chen to show her to them was to run
the risk of being judged a lunatic
or causing a general hysteria, There
was no way of gettin of her
short of murder and that w
ihe question, He found it
enough to swat a Пу.

Murder! Mr. Augustus whirled and
pulled open the drawer. He expected
to see the girls limp body lying on
the newspaper on the bottom of the
drawer, suffocated.

She was leaning on the cuff link
box, sm and when he looked
down, she winked at him. Then she
did a tiny bump and grind. Mr,
ugustus closed the drawer.

He was pensive, It was obvious the

as

airy, the sprite, the whatever, was
real. Не had willed her into being.
It was up to him, therefore, to sec

that something was done about her.
The Metropolitan Museum might be
interested in her or perhaps the re-
search department of one of the city
colleges. He would have to run the

risk of consequences. If he had some-
thing rare, it was his duty to share
it

He opened the drawer and tied а
handkerchief around the little crea
(continued on page 38)

“And while we're there, I don't want to catch you eyeing any of
those naked dancing girls!”

19

1 | NR gik FS
ی‎ а а је 4”.

3
1

PLAYBOY

ААА дА ag

20

Gianni stroked Gemmala's body and chanted the magic incantation.

RIBALD CLASSICS

fiction

A new translation of one of the choicest stories from Boccaccio's Decameron.

THE MAKING OF A MARE

A PENNILESS PROFESSOR named Gianni
slept in the barn of his farmer friend,
Pietro, because he had no money to
spend on lodgings. His only possession
was an aged donkey which he rode to
school.

nni often yearned for worldly
things. In particular, he hungered for
a buxom, golden-skinned wench with
whom to spend his nights.

Such а wench was Pietros pretty
wife, Gemmata, who helped her hus-
band by pulling the plow. One day.
in the course of conversation, she re-
marked to Gianni, "You must grow
weary of sleeping in the barn every
night, with no companion but an old
donkey.
nni sensed his opportunity and
quickly replied, "Oh, по, Signora. We
scholars know many magical charms,
and each night I change my donkey
fair and luscious damsel. Then,
ight of the greatest pleasure, 1
change her back into a donkey and
ride to school.”

Gemmata was lovely but stupid. She
believed his tic story and — as
Gianni had hoped— ran to tell her
nd of this wonder. Pictro, as
as she, also believed it.
mmata said. "Pietro, if Gianni

could change me into a mare every
morning I could pull the plow much
more easily. Then, at the end of the
day. he could change me back into a
woman."

Pietro thought it an excellent. idea,
and he went straight to Gianni. The
scholar pretended to be hesitant, re-
luctant to reveal his magical secrets.
At last, however, he said. "Very well.
Pietro. Since you are my friend, I will
do this thing for you. although it is the
most difficult magic in the world. Es-
pecially the tail — that. is very hard to
manage, and very strange to sec. But
come — lead me into your house and I
will do it."

The first thing Gianni did was order
Gemmata to strip herself. completely
naked and get down on her hands and

nees. Then he spoke solemnly to
Pietro. "My friend," he said, "your
eyes will behold strange things here
tonight, but whatsoever: уоп may see.
however odd it may appear, do not
speak or the spell will be broken and
тау nevermore be worked. Do you
understand?

"Yes, Gianni
word.

The professor then touched Gem-
mata's head and chanted, "May this be
the head of the mare." Touching her
arms, he chanted, “May these be the

said Pictro. "Not a

forelegs of the mare" Drawing his
hand across her ripe breasts, he
chanted, “May this be the chest of the
mare.” Thus he continued, touching
Gemmata's back, her belly, her but-
tocks, her thighs.

By this time. Gianni was burning
with desire. His voice rose to a mighty
roar as hc touched a part not of
atz's body, but of Piston dy

attached.

Pietro gasped with amazement and
Gemmata with delight. After a few
moments, the dull-witted husband said,
“If did not know you were casting a
spell. friend Gianni, I would swear you
were taking pleasure of my w

Gianni, his goal achieved, stood up
and said sharply, "Did I not wam you
to be silent, Pietro? You have spoiled
everything by speaking. The spell is
broken and will never work again.
Look — your wife isstill a woman." To
Gemmata, who was still оп all fours.
he said, "You may arise, Signora."

Pietro, angry with himself (ог having
broken the spell, grumbled for many
days. But Gianni and Gemmata were
well content with the outcome.

21

BROTHER BOOZERS

Friend Vipper considers a few
familiar barroom faces, includ-
ing the Liquored Lothario, the
Belligerent Bartender, and the
Melancholy Morning-after.

“Careful ... my husband
is having me watched.”

“The bartenders my husband.”

“Normally, mind you, I have sales
resistance like a mule, but . . .
А,

“Yes, ТЕ had a head like a balloon this
morning, but I fixed up the ice B"
and he really got rid of it in К"

“See how % әлде mer”
P
y
y

а
Ж”

PLAYBOY

OLD TIGER

but the distinctive tone of the show
was supplied by the man with the
spets. The script contained notations
like "Garroway talks for five minutes.”
And Garroway would talk, extempor-
ancously, on the ruby-polishing indus-
try of Siam or the construction of
eleven. ſoot poles for touching people
that you wouldn't touch with a ten-
foot pole. Camera techniques were in-
genious and a great deal of the humor
was visual, like the camera moving
from a harmonica quartet to Garroway
munching an ear of corn, or the time
he closed the program by saying, “This
show has come to you from Chicago
where, unlike Hollywood, one can
trust his friends,” then turned from the
camera to reveal а large knife protrud-
ing from his back.

Later, the public became familiar
with the uplifted palm апа breathy
benediction, "Peace," that have be-
come Garroway's sign-off trademark.

With growing national popularity,
Mr. С began to cultivate a fondness for
foreign sports cars, outfitted in true
Garroway style. He upholstered one
of his Jaguars іп alligator skin, then
finished it in Nankeen cream, covered
its rocker arms with gold paint and
inlaid its trunk with mahogany. By
this time, of course, he was making
enough money to pay others to do
these things for him, and his friends
thought him a litle odd because he
did most of them himself. But Gar-
roway didn't look at it that way, and
explained, "A garage mechanic puts
їп a hard days work and then goes
home and turns on his TV set. I spend
the day in а ТУ studio and then go
home and work in my garage. What's
the difference?"

Garroway At Large was acclaimed by
the critics, and achieved a very special
televiewer following, but hidebound
sponsors thought the show "too un-
usual" and withdrew their support.
The program coasted along оп a sus
taining basis for a while, but finally
folded. Live television was moving to
New York, and so the man most re-
sponsible for the relaxed “Chicago
School” of TV travelled East.

Garro had been an important
personality in the Windy City, but he
was just another fish in the big New
York pool. NBC was planning a two-
hour morning television show to keep
early-risers “in touch with the world."
This was to be accomplished through
the mediums of transoceanic telephone,
telephoto, TV walkie-talkie, teletype,
tape recorders, films and records. To
coordinate all this mechanical para-
phenalia, a human m.c. or “Communi-
cator” was needed. Garroway walked
into the thick of it. As he put it later,
“They weren't looking for a lean-
against-the-ladder, go-to-sleep-standing-
up guy like me. They wanted a guy

24

(continued from page 10)

with dynamics.” But it was undynamic
Garroway who got the job.

So, їп 1952, carphones strapped to
his head, portable mike slung around
his neck, he inaugurated the hodge-
podge of news, weather reports, drama,
book reviews, music and entertainment
features labelled Today. Initial reac-
tions to the program were mixed: some
thought it was great, others called it
“pointless. . . pretentious.” But the
Garroway manner counteracted the
pretentiousness and made the show a
favorite with public and sponsors
alike.

The one-time NBC page now lives
in a penthouse formerly occupied by
an NBC vice-president and has a spa-
cious office in Radio City. But when
he first arrived from Chicago, the office
they gave him was small and gloomy,
with barely enough space for his staff.
Garroway, however, has his own off-
beat way of getting what he wants.
Warren Kitter, his secretary at the
time, recalls how they kept moving in-

to successively larger offices, until they
finally had one that filled the bill.
Only one item was lacking: suitable
chairs. The Garroway gang was doing
its best with the straight-backed wooden
variety, waiting patiently for the cush-
ioned swivel chairs that had been prom-
ised. Garroway decided to do some-
thing about it. He called onc of thc
NBC bigwigs and invited him in:
“Thought you might like to drop in
and sec how we're getting along.”
When the Wheel opened the door, he
found Garroway and his crew sitting
cross-legged on the floor, calmly dis-
cussing the next day's show. Garroway
looked up. “Oh, hello there,” he
grinned. "Won't you join us?” Chuck-
ling in retrospect, Kitter recalls, "We
got the chairs."

Today has continued to grow in pop-
ularity, and Old Tiger recently added
to his chores a two-hour radio show of
records, interviews, and Garroway gab
called Sunday With Garroway.
Entertainers of the old school find
Garroway's success a rather bitter pill.

(continued on page 35)

FEMALES BY COLE: 6

The Pro

humor

“WAS MY FACE ВЕР!”

The good dector insists all these embarrassing incidents really happened on his

famous quiz show. Whether they did or not, they make very enjoyable reading.

к COURSE of sixteen years of broad.
casting and telecasting questions and
answers on my quiz program, I've run
across some rather embarrassing come-
backs. Yes, my face has been red sev-
cral times.

‘There was the time in Des Moines
when I asked a teen-age girl from the
local high school to test her ability at
fast thinking by giving me a five-second
definition of a commonly used word
(а good party game, incidentally). But
the word I inadvertently picked was
"conscience" Her unhesitating reply
left littlc more to be said. Without
batting a pretty eyelash she said, “Con
science . . is the one thing that hurts
. . . when everything else . . . feels
good!"

In Atlanta we signed off with a red
face the night I asked: "Who was first
in war, first in peace, and first in the
hearts of his countrymen?” The lady
contestant in the balcony replied cor-
rectly, "George Washington!" But be-
lore I could say twenty-nine silver dol-
lars she added a further bit of in-
formation: “But Doctor, General Wash-
ington wasn't first in everything — he
married a widow!" The audience loved
it, but all I could say was, "Sorry, our
time is ир. Goodnight!

Judging by the number of times 1
have been ribbed about this comeback,
ust have been tuned

est food of all, expecting the
“soup.” The audience roared

answer
when he came up fast with "beans!"

"Then there was the time in Birming-
ham when we asked the lovely Southern
belle to tell us the difference between
the masculine and feminine gender of
а Latin noun, The pretty thing was all
confused. After repeating the question
1 became a little impatient. “The dif
ference between the male and the fe-

BY JAMES “DR.

I. Q” McCLAIN

male form of the noun, please!" She
struggled with the answer. "Doctuh,"
she drawled delightfully, “Ah know
mah professors crammed that into me
every day in biology class, and An ve
got it right on the tip of mah tongue,
but Ah jus’ cain't spit it ош!”

Which should have served as a warn-
ing to stay away from any question that
might suggest sex. But in Rochester,
New York, 1 goofed again. A distin-
guished middle aged dowager was hor-
ribly embarrassed by my question,
“Madam, for twelve silver dollars, what
is the most sensitive organ of a man's
body? As а hint I'll tell you that this
organ is capable of tripling its size in a
matter of seconds without artificial

stimulants.” The lady turned crimson.
she

“I absolutely refuse to answer!"
blubbered. "I've never been so hur
iated in all my life!" І answered calmly,
“Well, 1 don't know what organ you
are thinking of, Madam. but the cor-
rect answer is the pupil of the eye.”

“This question is extremely difficult,”
I warned, as the announcer with the
portable microphone picked a pretty
young housewife, recently married. "It's
to test your memory, and I'll let your
husband be the judge. But I warn you,
it's hard, so think a second before
answering. What was the first thing
you said to your husband after you
were married?”

"Oh, that isn't so hard," she said,
smiling, but before she could give the
answer, her husband spoke up: "Pay
her off, Doc. That's what she said!"

In Minneapolis, we asked a cute
question of an attractive college girl.
"What's the one thing that rabbits have
which no other animal ever has” We
expected the answer "baby rabbits."
But the coed put a little different twist.
to it when she answered matter of
factly, “each other."

At the Great Lakes Naval Academy,
back in 1943, I was conducting a quiz
show for a group of new recruits who
ng their basic training. I
asked a timid young draftee from Ten-
nessee a question designed to make
him squirm before the laughter of his
buddies. I said, "Sailor, I wonder if
you can tell me the difference between
а beautiful blond and a submarine!”
He answered ruefully, “Gosh, Doc, I
in't never been on a submarine!
The other night here in New York
on our new television show I was
really stopped. I had told the an-
nouncer in the audience to pick а
typical husband, present with his wife,
because the question was designed to
get a laugh out of how unobservant
the husband would be as to his wife's
appearance. I had the husband blind-
folded and then asked hi Мом, sir,
we want you to show us how observant
you are! Will you please describe, as
best you can, the lovely lady seated at
your left?” He wasted no time. “Well,
she has dark hair, a short. cute haircut

‚ sort of greenish eyes . . . she
weighs around one-twenty-five . . . her
measurements are, uh . . .” (he thought
a moment) “36-26-34. She's wearing a
green knit dress . . I'm not sure what
color shoes she has on, but under the
dress she’s got on a white slip and a
pair of pink lace . I interrupted
in what I considered the nick of time.

“Congratulations, sir! You are a most
observant husband and I'm sure your
wife is very proud of youl”

‘The man grinned.

“Could be," he answered as he pock-
eted his silver dollars, “but I hope
she isn't tuned in on this show to-

night!”

25

PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE

ОР THE MONTH

PLAYBOY

satire

HE VERY KEYSTONE of modern busi-
ness is the Idea. In fact, no greater
raise can be given you than to be

called An Idea Man.

You may say, “But I've never had
an idea in my life!" "This may be true,
but do not be discouraged! Men like
you head many of our nation’s greatest
businesses.

They have learned that Idea Pro-
duction is a little trick that can be
mastered with very modest mental
equipment. They have acquired it over
the years, but you can pick it up in the
few short seconds it takes to read this
article.

There are several ways to produce
ideas.

1. Develop Them. It is your func-
tion as a man who has both feet on
the ground, to develop ideas. This
means you will take the little worthless
notions of others and add to each of
them that important fillip that makes
it work — and that makes the idea Your
Own.

This requires Vision, but if you аге

28

made of the right stuff, you should have

ion 10 spare.
The undeveloped, worthless notions
may come from any source. For ex-
ample, one of your assistants may ap-
proach you:

"Uh. I've been working on this for
some time, Mr. Finch.

“Good spirit, son.

(Always encourage the little people.)

“Do you think 1 ought to write it
ош and send it along to J. В?”

“Let me be the judge of that, son.
Just tell it to me in your own words.”

If you decide the notion can be
developed, be sympathetic and fatherly.
“Uh, do you think it will work, Mr.
ch?"

Fi

“No, no, not as it stands, of course
nor. Worthless. But it might be de.
veloped. Let me give it some thought,
ave time. Mighty good try,
ood thinking!”

when 1
though,

notion needs very little of your magic
touch to make it work. Put your stamp

. take the little worthless notions of others.

on it! Then, if you are successful, and
if the management rewards you, don't
forget the little fellow who started you
on the notion. Send him a memo, a
nice memo. He will cherish it. Don't
be too specific, however. Sometimes
the little people are ungrateful,
fail to realize the part you have play
in putting the thing on the rails
making it practical, Write something
like;

“Your thoughts on the problem 1
was working on certainly helped.
Thanks so much!"

2. Call а Conference. If you need
something in а hurry, call in all your
assistants, associates, or members of
your department, if you have one.
State the problem. Then tell them:

“OE course I've got the thing almost
licked, but I wanted to get some of
your thoughts on it. Just jot down
your surface notions. Take all the time
you want, as long as you һауе them on
my desk by tw

(An arbitrary time limit is a good
spur to thinking. Thinking at least

on this level—is best done under
forced draft.)

Each little notion will no doubt be
worthless, but by exercising your own
Vision, уоп may be able to combine
or develop them into something that
will work, and something which, ag:
will be truly Your Own.

3. Use Your Advertising Agency. If
you have kept your agency properly on
its toes you may find it of occasional
help in producing ideas. Agencies em-
ploy people who do nothing but sit
around and think up ideas. Use them!

Here i you will have to take
their dreamy notions and Whip Them
into Shape, stamp them with your own
brand. The agency will not mind. In
fact, the agency is used to it. They may
even try to make you think that an
idea that is wholly theirs is Do
not be deceived! Fiddle with it.
your duty to improve everything.

4. Use Your Subconscious. When all
else fails you may have to use your
own brain — for the original processes,

HOW TO SUCCEED Ih BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING.

The more you relax . . . the better.

BE AN IDEA MAN!

it is the man with ideas who succeeds in business without really trying

Remember, your brain is like an ice-
berg. Only an insignificant part shows
above the surface. The rest is sub-
merged. This submerged part is your
subconscious mind, and wise indeed is
the businessman who makes his sub-
conscious work for him.

Simply feed the facts 10 your sub-
conscious and then relax. The more
you relax, the better. Forget the prob-
lem. The answer will come to you.
Sometimes it will come while you are
shaving. or while you're sinking а putt.
But it will come!

For example, let us say you һауе
assembled a set of facts carefully, spar-
ing no effort. Then as yoür high-caliber
ubconscious goes to work on them,
strange things can happen.

"Oh. uh. Mr. Finch, you know all
those figures and things I spent the
ї few nights getting up for you?"
| „ Son?"

“Well, it just happened to occur to
me that a solution might be simply to
give the wickets a left-hand thread.”

“Amazing. isn't it! I knew it would

сотимент.

BY SHEPHERD MEAD

come to me!”

“Uh, beg pardon, sir?”

“Ways of the subconscious аге
mighty strange, aren't they, son?
‘Thanks for reminding me.”

You will have many other maniles-
tations of the true power of your sub-
us, able as it is to come to in-
credible solutions and even to implant
them in other and lesser minds. It is
difficult to explain this power to others,
and many feel it is best not to try.

It just came to me, Mr. Biggley.
There I was, sitting in my office and it
just сате to me.

"Magnificent, Finch, really magnifi-
cent!”

Make it cl however, that the Idea
Man is always working. You may not
look as though you are working. To
the untrained сус you may be drinking
а Martini, or improving relations with
the secretarial staff, but the big wheels
arc turning in your subconscious, the
real work is going on in the great
sunken iceberg of your mind the source
of your true power.

(952, ву SHEPHERD EAD, PUBLISHED DY SIMON B SCHUSTER 29

PLAYBOY

vic GLOVER awoke with the noon-day
heat ringing іп his ears. He had been
sleep for only half an hour, and ће
was getting ready to turn over and go
hack to sleep when he opened his eyes
for a moment and saw Hubert's woolly
black head over the top of his bare
toes. He stretched his eyelids and held
them open in the glaring light as long
as he could.

Hubert was standing in the yard, at
the edge of the porch, with a
in his hand.

Vic cursed him.

he colored man once more г:
cone over Vic's bare toes, tick
on the underside, and stepped back
out of reach.

"What do you mean by standin;
there tickling me with that dad-burned
cone?” Vic shouted at Hubert. “Is that
all you can find to do? Why don't you
get out in that field and do something
to them boll-we
ent up every boll of coti
if you don't stop them.

“I surely hated to wake you up, Mr.
Vic," Hubert said, "but there's a white
man out here looking for something.
He won't say what he's looking for.
but he's hanging around for it

Vic sat up wide awake. He sat up
on the quilt and pulled on his shoes
without looking into the yard. Тће
white sand in the yard beat the glare
of the sun directly into his eyes and ће
could sec nothing beyond the edge of
the porch. Hubert threw the pine cone
Jer the porch and stepped aside.
"He must be looking for trouble

Vic said. "When they come around

and don't say anvth
and loo
for."
There he is, Mr.
iding his head
"There he sits up a
чес yonder.”
Vic looked around for Willie. Willie
ng on the top step at the other
porch, directly in front of
. She did not

. and just sit
. its trouble they're looking

Hubert said,
cross the yard.
inst that water

end of
the strange white m
look at Vic.

‘ou ought to have better sense than

30

vic.

wife sat on that step, fooling with the stranger,

and the stranger kept fooling with that big knife

"Boss," Hubert said, shal

to wake me up while I'm taking а пар.
This is no time of day to be up in the
summertime. I've got to get a litle
sleep every now and then.”

"Boss," Hubert said, “I wouldn't
е you up at all, not at any
time, but Miss Willie just sits there
high up on the меру showing her pretty
and that white man has been out there
whittling on a little stick a long time
Б nothing. I'm scared about some-
thing happening when he whittles that
litle stick clear through, and it's just
about whittled down to nothing now.
hat's why 1 waked you up, Mr. Vic.
Ain't much left of that little whittling-
stick.”

Vic glanced again at Willic, and
from her he turned to stare at thc
stranger sitting under the waterc
tree in his front yard.

ncver wa

by ERSKINE CALDWELL

AUGUST AFTERNOON

g, "we ain't aiming to have no trouble todoy, is we?"

The piece of wood had been shaved
down to paper thinn

Hubert said, shifting the
weight of his body uneasily, “we ain't

g to have по trouble today, is

“Which way did he come from
asked, ignoring the question.

“I never did sec him come from no-
where, Mr. Vic. 1 just looked up. and
there he was, sitting against that water
out yonder and whittling on that
little stick. I reckon I must have респ
drowsy when he came, because when I
opened my eyes, there he was.

Vic slid down over the quilt until
his legs were hanging over the edge of
the porch. Perspiration began to trickle
down his neck as soon as he sat up.

Ask him what he's after, Hubert."

“We ain't aiming to have no trouble

PLAYBOY

today, is ме, Mr. Vic?"

“Ask him what he wants around here,
I said.”

Hubert went almost half way to the
watcroak tree and stopped.

Mr. Vic says what can he do for

you. white. folks?

he man said nothing. He did not

even glance up from the little stick he
tling.

Hubert came back to the porch, the
whites of his eyes becoming larger
with each step.

What did he say?" Vic asked him.

"He ain't said nothing yet, Mr. Vic.
He acts like he don't hear me at all.
You'd better go talk to him, Mr. Vic.
He wont give me no attention. Ap-
pears to me like he's just sitting there
and looking at Miss Willie on the high
мер. Maybe if you was to tell her to
go in the house and shut the door, he
might be persuaded to give some notice
to what we say to him.”

"Ain't no sense in sending her in
the house,” Vic said. "I can make him
talk. Напа me that stilyerd.

r. Vic, I'm trying to tell you about
Miss Willie. Miss Willie's been sitting
there on that high step showing her
pretty and he's been looking at her a
right long time. Mr. Vic. If you won't
object to me saying so. Mr. Vic, |
reckon I'd tell Miss Willie to go sit
somewhere else, if I was you. Mi:
Willic ain't got much on today, Mr.
Vic. Just only that skimpy outside
dress, Mr. Vic. Thats what I've been
trying to tell you. I walked out there
in the yard this while ago to see what
ip at so much, and when I
say Miss Willie ain't got much on to-
an she's got on just only tha
skimpy outside dress, Mr. Vic. You
can go look yourself and sce if I'm
lying to you, Mr. Vic.”
Hand me that stilyerd, 1 E

Hubert went to the end of the porch
and brought the heavy iron cotton-
weighing steelyard to Vic. He stepped
back out of the way

"Boss," Hubert s
to have no trouble toda

Vic was getting ready 10 jump down
into the yard when the man under the
wateroak reached into his pocket and
pulled out another knife, It was about
ten or eleven inches long and both
sides of the handle were covered with
hairy cowhide. I here was а spring-
button in one end. The man pushed
the button with his thumb, and the
blade sprang from the case. He began
playing with both knives, throw:
them up into the air and catching them
оп the backs of his hands.

Hubert moved to the other side of

Mr. Vic.” he said, “I ain't intending
10 mess in your business none. but it
looks to me like you got yourself in
for а peck of trouble when you went
off and brought Miss Willie back here.
It looks to me like she's got up for a
city girl, more so than a country girl.”

32

Vic cursed him.
I'm telling you, Mr. Vic, you ought
10 marry yoursclf а wife who hadn't
ought to sit on а high step front of a
stranger not even when she's wcaring
something more than just only а skimpy
outside dress. I walked out there and
looked Miss Willie, and. Mr. Vic,
Miss Willie is as bare а plucked
chicken, except for one little place 1
saw.
Shut up," Vic said, laying the steel-
аг down on the quilt beside him.
"The man under the wateroak closed
the blade of the small knife апа put
it into his pocket. The big, hairy, cow-
hide-covered knife he flipped into the
and caught easily on the back of
his hand.
"Mr. Vic," Hubert said, "You've been
sleep all the time and you don't know
ke 1 do. Miss Willie has been sitting
there on that high step showing off her
pretty a long time now. I know, Mr.
Vic, because I went out there myself
and looked."

Vic cursed him.

The man in the yard flipped the
knife into the air and caught it behind
his back.

“What's your name?" he asked Wil-
lie.

“Willie.”

He flipped the knife again
What's yours?” she asked him, gig-

Where are you from?"

“Carolina.”

He flipped it higher than ever, catch-
it underhanded.

you doing in Georgia?”

“Don't know,” he said, “Just looking

giggled, smiling at him.
Floyd got up and walked across the
yard to the steps and sat down on the
bottom опе. He put his arms around
his knees and looked up at Willie.

“You're not so bad-looking,” he said.
“I've seen lots worse looking

“You're not so bad yourself,” Willie
giggled, resting her arms on her knees
and looking down at him.

"How about a kiss?”

"What would it be to you

"Not bad. 1 reckon I've had lots
worse.”

“Well, you can't get i
ће
Floyd climbed the steps on his hands
nd feet and sat down on the next to
the top step. He leaned against Willie,
putting one arm around her waist and
the other under her knees, Willie slid
down the step beside him. Floyd pulled
her to him. making а suckingsound
with his lips.

"Boss," Hubert said, his
ing, "we ain't ;
trouble today, is we?"

Vic cursed him.

Willie and Floyd moved down а
step without loosening their embrace.

“Who is that yellow-headed sap-

ting down

ips twitch-
t0 have no

sucker, anyhow?” Vic said. III be
dad-burned il he ain't got a lot of
nerve coming here and fooling with
Willie.”

"You wouldn't do nothing to cause
trouble, would you, Mr. Vic? 1 surcly
don't want to have no trouble, today,
Mr. Vic."

Vic glanced at the eleven-inch knife
Floyd had stuck into the step ar his
fect. It stood on its tip twenty-two
inches high, while the sun was reflected
against the bright blade and made a
of light on Floyd's pant leg.

"Go over there and take that knife
away from him and bring it to me,
Vic said. "Don't be scared of him."

“Mr. Vic, 1 surely hate to disappoint
you, but if you want that white-folk’s
knife, you'll just have to get it your
own self. I don't aim to have myself
all carved up with that thing. Mr.
Vic, I surely can't accommodate you
this time. If you want that white-folk's
knife, you'll just be bound to get it
your own self, Mr. Vic.

Vic cursed him.

Hubert backed away until he was at
the end of the porch. He kept looking
behind him all the time, looking to be
certain of the cxact location of the
sycamore stump that was between hi
and the pine grove on the other
of the cotton field.

Vic called to Hubert and told him
to come back. Hubert came slowly
around the corner of the porch and
stood a few feet from the quik where
Vic was sitting. His lips quivered and
the whites of his eyes grew larger. Vic
motioned for him to come closer, but
he would not come an inch farther.

“How old are you?" Floyd asked
Willie.

“Fifteen.

Floyd jerked the knife out of the
wood and thrust it deeper in the same
place.

"How old are you?” she asked him.

“About twenty-seven.”
re you married?”

“Not now,” he said. “How long have
you been?”

"About three months,” Willie said.

"How do you like its“

"Pretty good so far.

"How about another

“You've just had one.

“Га like another one now."

"] ought not to let you kiss me
again,

"Why now”

"Men don't like girls who kiss too
much.
"I'm not that kind."

“What kind are you?”

“Td like to kiss you a lot.”

“But after I let you do that, you'd
go away.

“No, I won't.
else.”

"What?"

“To get the rest of you.

"You might hurt me."

(continued on page 35)

e

ТИ stay for something

PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES

The rape of the Sabine women
by the Romans is a famous his-
torical incident, but our research
has uncovered а
hitherto unrevealed story.

It seems that Trebonius, the
tallest, strongest, handsomest
soldier in the Roman legions
broke into а house where ће
found two luscious, sloc-eyed sis-
ters and their elderly. nurse.
Chuckling with фес, he roared,
"Prepare thyselves for conquest,
my pretties!”

The lovely girls fell to their
knees and pleaded with hi,
“Ravish us if thou wilt, o. Ro-
man, but spare our faithful old
пи

E

e.
hut thy mouth," snapped the
nurse. "War is wai

las summer a friend. of ours
vacationed at a popular resort
where he met a and chann-
ing girl She prided herself оп
being a good sport and dem-
onstrated this by cnjoying just
about everything with our friend
ining, dancing, swimming,
horseback riding, motor-
ing — just about everything, in
short, except that special enjoy-
t he was really interested in.
“Oh, come on,” he entreated,
“you're always saying what а
good sport you are. Why draw
the line at this?" Appealing to
her sense of good sportsmanship
finally turned the trick.
last evening of their vacation was
the most enjoyable of all.
Back on the job. our friend
had almost forgotten the incident
when, just a week ago, the phone

a
He didn't, of course. м
“Тһе from the lake this

she said. “Тһе good

tid she had something
important to tell him and wanted
nect him for a drink after
. Remembering the pleasant
interlude at the end of their va-

cation, he made a date for that
very evening.
Over M ns, the girl con-

fided tha

she was in a family

way and asked him what he was
going to do about it.

Our friend was understandably
unnerved.

91-1 don't know what I can
do." he said, gulping down his
drink. “This summer was just
for laughs. I'm engaged to be
married. to another girl. The
question is, what are you going
to do about it?”

"Well" she said, almost in
"I suppose I could kill my-

ce!" Не breathed a sigh of
f. "You are a good sport!”

Then there was the playboy who
suddenly decided to hre а strictly
moral life. First, he cut out
smoking. Then he cut out liquor.
"Then he cut out swearing. Then
he cut ош women.

Now he's cutting out paper
dolls.

Two small mice were crouched
under a table in the chorus girls’
dressing room of а big Broadway
show.

"Wow," exclaimed the first
mouse, “have you ever seen so
many gorgeous legs in your life?”

“Means nothing to me,” said
the second. "Im a titmouse.”

The Olympic swimming champ
got married to а beautiful girl

m-
ming prowess. He leaped into
the hotel pool, cleaved the water
with expert strokes, and came up
on the opposite side іп а matter
of seconds. His proud smile

cd slightly when his lovely
lived in and repeated his
eat in half the time.

But, masking his bruised ego,
he took her in his arms and ex-
claimed. ling, уоште won-
Why didn't you tcll mc
you were a swimming champion

m not," she replied. "I was
a street-walker in Venice.”

“Now it's my turn, Мт. Bullfinch. Let те feel your wallet!”

ГИ show you.
“Well have to go to the spring for

ross the field in the grove.
ight,” Floyd said, standing up.
"Let's go.”

He bent down and pulled the knife
out of the woud, Willie ran down the
steps ond across the yard. When Floyd.
w that she was not going to wait for
him, he ran alter her holding the
knives in his pocket with one hand.
She led him across the cotton ficld to
the spring in the pine grove. Just be-
fore they got there, Floyd caught. her
by the arm and ran beside her the rest
ol the way

“Boss,” Hubert said, his voice trem-
‚ "we aint aiming to have no
le today, is we

Vie cursed hin

“L don't want to get messed up with
а heap of trouble and maybe get my
belly slit open with that big hairy
knife. If you ain't got objections, 1
reckon. ЇЇ mosey өп home now and
cut me a little firewood for the cook-
stove.

"Come back here
stay where you are
moves to go oll."
What is we x to do, Mr. V

Vic eased himself off the porch
and walked across the yard w the
water-oak, He looked down at the
ground where Floyd had been sitting,
and then he looked at the porch steps
where Willie had been. The noonday
heat beat down through the thin
leaves overhead and he wuld feel his
mouth and throat burn. with the hot
air he breathed.
fave you got a gun, Hubert
No sir, boss.” Hubert said.

“Why hi he said. “Right
when I need а} u havent got
it. Why don't you keep а gun?”

"Mr. Vic. 1 ain't got по use for a
gun. I used to keep one to shoot rab-
bits and squirrels with, but 1 got to
thinking hard one day, and I traded
it off the first chance T had. E reckon
it was a good thing 1 traded. too.
If 1 had kept it, you'd be asking for
it like you did just now."

Vie went back то the porch and pic
ed up the steelyard and hammered the
porch with it. After he had hit the
porch four or five times. he dropped
it and started out in the direction of
the spring. He walked as far as the
edge of the shade and stopped. Не
stood listening for a while

Willie and Floyd could be heard
down near the spring. Floyd said
something to Willie, and Willie laugh-
ed loudly, There was silence for

you

Vic said. "You
ind stop 1

(continued from page 32)

several minutes, and then Willie
ghed again, Vie could not tell
whether she was dying or laughing.
He was getting ready to turn and go
back to the porch when he heard her
cry out. It sounded like a scream, but
it was not exactly that; it sounded
like a shriek, but it wasn't that, either;
it sounded more like someone laugh
ing and aying simultaneously in а
high pitched, excited. voice
Where did Miss Willie come from,
Mr. Үй?” Hubert asked. “Where did
you bring her froni

“Down below here a
said.

Hubert list

ide way," he

ned to the sounds t
were coming Irom the pine grove
“Boss,” he said after a little while,
"it appears to me like you didn’t go
far enough away.
L went far eneugh," Vie said. "If
I had gone any farther, ГА have been
in Florida
The colored min hunched his
shoulders forward several times while
he smoothed the white sand with his
broad-soled. shoes.

"Mr. Vic, if I was you, the next
time Fd surely go that far, maybe

farther.”

а mean, the next time?
g that maybe vou
her much longer

as
wouldn't be k
than now, Mr
Vic cursed h
Hubert raised his he:
and attempted до se
pinegrove ov
ing cotton,
“Shut up and mind your own busi
ness" Vie said. "Fm going to keep
her ull the cows come home. Whi
else do you reckon. Га find а bette
looking girl than Willie?”
Boss, | wasn't thinking of how
she looks—L was thinking of how she

times
nto the

down
the top of the grow-

use she
o to fool

She acis that way bei
"t old enough to know wi
with. She'll catch on in ti
Hubert followed Vic across the
yard. While Vic went towards the
porch, Huber stopped and leaned
ist the water oak where he could
almost see over the cotton field into
the pine grove. Vic went up on the
porch and stretched out on the quilt.
Не took off his shoes and flung them
ide
1 surely Cod knowed something
going io happen when he whittled
that stick down to nothing." Hubert
was saving to himself, “White-folks
take а long time to whittle a little

piece of wood, but when they whittle
it down to nothing, they're going to
before the time

Presently Vic
quilt.

pright on the

"Listen here, Hubert—
“Yes, sir, boss.”
"You keep your eye on that stil-

yerd so it will stay right where it is

now, and when they come back up the
you wake me up in a hurr

sir, boss.” Hubert said. “Are
you aiming to take a little nap now?"
Dam. And if you don't wake
when they come back, ГЇЇ

пе up y
your neck for you when 1 do

down again on the quilt
nd turned over on his side to shut
өш the blinding glare of the carly
afternoon sun that was reflected upon
the porch from the hard white sind
in the yard.

Hubert scratched his
down ast the water oak fac
the path from the spring. He could
hear Vic snoring on the porch above

head and sat

the sounds that came at intervals from
the pine grave across the field. He
sat staring down the path, drowsy,
singing under his breath. It was a long

time until sundown.

OLD TIGER

(continued. from. page 24)

The guy just wanders around and
seems to say the first thing that. pops
inw his head. Watching him, you get

the idea he doesn't сате one way or
the other if he has an audience or
not. He's just taking it casy, de
what he wants to be doing. and if
few million people happen to be look-
ing at him, ОК. И theyre not,
OK too. He doesnt sell, he
doesn't push, he doesn't hustle, Even.
his most ardent admirers would. prob-
ably admit that Garreway cannot
truly be called a talented man, un-
less the ability t ke people like
him can be considered a vilem. He
can't sing (even Godfrey does that,
after а fashion), he can't act, he's not
particularly handsome, he doesn't
play а musical instrument or juggle
ог do card tricks. He doesn't even
crack the usual kind of jokes. What
the hell, wonder his envious col-
leagues, has this man go? The Chris-
tian Science Monitor has done the
most accurate job of pin-pointing the
rroway secret, “He is a stylist.” they

5
а

pigcon-holing the way person-
ality—have, in fact, offered diametrica

ly opposite descriptions. Time Mag-
azine has called an extrovert;

Newsweek. an іп

We offer the suggestion that he is
а shrewd but bashful extrovert, and
wish him a liberal share of his favor
commodity, peace.

35

PLAYBOY

PILLOW CUTAWAY SECTION SHOWING
INNER SPRINGS

humor
CARRYING НАМ
(for house calls}
ASH TRAY
(SIMULATED CHROME) HINGE
FOR

NONSKID CONSTRUCTION LEGS

FIGURE 1 Couch (side elevation)

ration and а 1
ing a drown st 5
tion without taking him out of the С
lake. Things have become too con-
fused. Treatment is not my answer.
(1 have received. several badly writ

ten letters from а Dr. Carl. Gassoway à
demanding that E state chat treatment
is his answer. 1 have по intention ol

complying with this imbecilic request.)
Although the whole idea of attempt- -

ing to patch а personality once it has Р
broken down is futile, some of the de-
месу mentioned in the following pages

may have value as temporary exped-
ients in so far as they keep the patient

in а functional state long enough for
him to attack the real cause of his
trouble — his environment.

PSYCHOANALYSIS
This is a method of treating the

milder neurosis by letting the patient
talk about himself until he becomes
sv bored he forgets whit was originally
wrong with him.* Psychoanalysis has
gained wide public acceptance. owing
10 the tremendous volume of publicity
it has received via movies, periodicals,
and offcolor anecdotes

In spite of — perhaps because of —
the wide acceptance of this method, it
has many detractors and. has ас times
been the basis of bitter

а
psychological circles. He the
American Psychi jC Association re-
cently came out strongly in favor of

psychoanalysis, recommending it un-
cquivocally, in а twemty-one-page an-
nouncement that they released to the

*The use ој the masculine gender їп
referring to the "patient" is [от pur-
poses of literary simplicity and has по
significance. Positively. Do not look
for any, Please

Vi Aae

—

WINDOW

FIGURE II Plan о

Dr,

tially exam-
ined the merits of psychoanalysis Irom

ss. his st

cement imp:

ive d

every posible angle and ›
principal reasons for the Association's
favorable attitud

1. It costs. песму dolis an hour.
is Irom eight months to

s

ten y

“PRICE METHOD” —HOW IT WORKS

are several approaches 10
alysis. I shall take up here

1 devised myself
t lack. of false modesty has prompt-
ed me to name the “Price Method."
About this method, the eminent au-

THE

thority. J. Taylor Dorsey. М. D., has
id. ^... Surefire! A orackerjad
system. Results gotten first ime, Just

what the public has been waiting f
‘The "Price Method" has onc tremen-
dous advantage from the standpoint of
would-be psychoanalyst.
res no diploma.
cause of this advantage
Exar а Boards 1
refused to legalize its use.
However, it has been recognized. by
many progressive communities and

safely be practiced in Tierra del
wb in
Province, Southern Rho-

the

the present time.
ш; used by «

Method" is actually bei
ctor, my maternal uncle, J. T
Dorsey, of ——. (Е asons
security [J. Taylor Роге 1
not give his professional address

1 will outline briefly here the mech-
anics of the “Price Method,
ticed by Dr. Dorsey.

The “Price Method". requi
equipment, A couch, а desk, a chair,
а pad of notepaper. and a good lawyer.

Тһе most important item із the

l

Y. W. C. A
LOCKER
ROOM

BY ROGER PRICE

explaining the price method

of psychoanalysis, with help-

AIR VENT

couch (Figure 1).

The wnit pictured here is the most
uptodate model and is on sale in
netropolitan arcas аб prohibitive

If you wish to

oid a larg

satis-

Dorsey, the procedure is

Aher a preliminary с of
the patients Heredity, Social Atti-
tudes. МЕ Status, and Suit P
ets, Dr. Dorsey tells hi

nd write a complete history of his
own life, putting in eve

ter how embarrassing or
The patient does this and returns
а few days with the history. Dr. Dor-
sey then reads the patients history,
corrects. the imar as best he «ап,
changes а few names around. and sub-
mits it to True Story Magazine.

He then ananges for the pati
to come to his off
g the week and lie
the patient is
sey sity in the easy cha
h his notepaper. The proper. plac-
of the chair in relation to the
couch is of utmost importance (Fig-
ure П).

n the couch
talk-

You will notice that the chair is
ced behind the couch, so that the
ot see the analyst. There

ion. for this. This is so that

once the patient begins talking, Dr.
Dorsey са tele-

nds, and take care of си»
his haberdashery down-

phone fr
tomer in

*I[ you make a sale, reserve motion-
picture rights for yourself. Gel it in
iting. Don't trust magazine editors.

ful diagrams by the author.

stairs. “
When about fifty minutes have
gene by, Dr. Dorsey sneaks back

stops the patient fron
sends him home. И it isn't possible to

stop the patient from talking. Dr. Dor-
sey sends him hom with a
note to the bus driver pinned to
lapel

In the event that the patient should
discover that Dr. Dorsey has left the
room while he is talking. the proce
dure is as follows. Dr. Dorsey enters
and finds the patient standing up,
looking nervously about the office. He
crosses rapidly to chair, sits down, and.
g at his notepaper.
Полог... Dor-

PATIENT Doctor

D: (Busy и
<- mmm .

th notes) Мати...
Oh, what was

panest: Doctor, where have you
been?

Dr . Bein...

PATIENT: I looked around while I
was talking, and vou weren't in the
room,

Dr. D: Umm ... very interesting;
you looked around and imagined I
wasnt in the room!

PATIENT: But Doctor...

Dr. D: (In а soothing tonc) Now,
now, now, now . .. let's not give in
so easily. 79%

This particular device is Dr. Dor-

*See Sigmund Freud. The Use of the
‘Tennis Shoe in Psychoanalysis (1930).
** This dialogue is copyrighted. Ama-
teur theatrical groups are warned not
to attempt ta present it without pay-
ing те royalties. Especially high-
school groups.

(continued on page 46)

37

PLAYBOY

PERSISTENT NUDE (continued from page 18)

ture in a bulky, trailing sarong. She
resisted him and tried to pull the gar-
ment oll as soon as he had finished.
She was still wrestling with it when
he brought her а peanut butter jar
lid with a mixture of sugar and water
and placed it in font of he

He slowly closed the drawer, leav-
g a small opening for air. His own.
supper was a peanut. butter sandwich,

ad a cup of tea, drunk rellectively.

Immediately afterward he fell into
bed and slept as if he were drugged
until the alarm awakened him in the

morning.

He pecked at once into the drawer.
‘The tiny girl was asleep. She alto was
Iresed aga 1 of the sugar
ad water appeared de be gone. He
wished he could stay and uy to talk
to her, perhaps piece out some of
what she was saying, but he felt it
would be unwise not to go to work
as usual. Still, it might be disastrous
И anyone should discover her. He
checked to make sure and satisfied
himself she could not get ош of the

drawer. Then he dressed, locked his
door carefully, put the “Do Not
Disturb” sign on it, and went to

the day he decided that. per-
а hit before he
nyone about her—she might go

ps he should w
told

And when he closed the door be-
hind him ning and opened
the dresser drawer, she was gone. Не
felt a strange disappoi
cone chuckled. The nude girl
stepped out from behind a framed
photograph of Miss Belle, on his
dresser top. Thumbsize the day be-
fore, she was now as big as his en-
tire hand. This discovery caused Mr.
Augustus to shake his head twice
back and forth quickly. When he fo-
cused his eyes again. she was still
there—and nearly eight inches higher.

wurprise" she exclaimed in a
squeaky voice.

Mr. Augustus gasped and turned
Miss Belles picture to the wall.

"You didn’t even think I was real
she giggled. "But
you thought about me and created
me and-here 1 am!” The litle pixie
took up the handkerchief Mr. Augus-
tus had carefully wrapped around her
the night before and began to do

upghty rhumba across the dresser

that!” Mr.
"Stop it this in
thes on."
t all vou ever think of" she
complained, “clothes? Poof for your
clothes!” She threw the handkerchief
in his face.

Mr. Augustus choked,
handkerchief, which had
glasses aske

some cle
Is th

fighting the
nocked his

38

ble, Daddy," she plead-
m a nymph from а sylvan grove,
ymphs don't wear clothes." Her

voice was like a scratchy children's
record. "And if youll keep on be
lieving in me and just let me stick

nd. you
her
ase 1

won't be sorry
ms up over her
g to growand grow

—áand grow

lt was evening and at the hotel
desk the night clerk was engrossed
in a science-fiction . He

jumped when he looked
Mr. Augustus peering down at him
from over the switchboard.

What are yen young
man?” Mr. Augustus

The clerk cleared his throat, “Its
а story about a scientist” he said,
"who goes to the other side of the

moon. And he finds a bunch of little
people living there—people no bigger'n
your hand. Crazy, hu
Mr. Augustus laughed
No bigger th лу hand
As small as а hand. How
continued the uneasy laugh as he dis-
appeared up the si
Ihe “Do Not Disturb”
still on the door.
he liule creature. jumped off the
bed, when he entered. She was now
just tall enough to tug at his belt.

sign was

Did vou bring it?” she asked,
excitedly.
Here" He pulled à brown pack

age from his coat and lifted а bottle
from it. 1 sure you, | felt
quite daring buying it."
can live on air,” the lovely pixie
said, laughing, “but every now and
then, I appreciate a little nip!"
She looked disturbingly like a sn
child — a distractingly proportioned,
voluptuous child. to be sure, but a
child, nevertheless, Mr. Augustus was
по longer frightened, however. He
was now anticipating her full growth
with some pleasure: As he poured
out the sherry, he tried to estimate
how long it would take her.
“The maid came by а
she said, leaning against М

m today,
Augus-

people who live in pigsties but 1
just kept quiet and she didn’t come

Mr. Augustus looked about the
room, at the painting exactly as he
had abandoned it a few she days
before, at the unmade bed, the dust
on the tabletop, “It does need tidy-
ing a bit,” he said. “You're big enough
now, while I'm at the office, you . .
Хо, no, no!” she stamped her foot.
"I'm по housemaid! Here,” she held

out her empty glass. nother
drink.”
A terrible

“give me

thought сате to him

suddenly. “You will stop growing,
won't уо

Oh yes,” she laughed, and winked
at him. “When Fm just the right
sire!”

Mr. Augustus knew he was going to
blush, so he turned away, to the
closet. He brought out his bathrobe
and handed it to her. “Please put this
п." he said. “Youll catch cold stand-
g about like tha
АП right" she said. “Ju
you'll stop n; . Bur
to clothes, 1 told vou. You've
craziest ideas about nymphs.”
hiccuped.
hats enough now," Мт. Augus-
tus ciutioned, 1 don’t want you get-
ng Lipsy on me."

t 50
t used
ot the
She

Oh. don't be an old killjoy,” she
aid, filling another glass.

м settled reflect
in his This was no child,

he mused:
than three
like а won
а woman

She might be little more
feet will, but she thought.
n and she was built like
No one had ever accused
him of being томе before. but he
dmit this lovely creature was
g out latent possibilities in

But ће wondered, since she had been
ed out of his own imagin
would he actually be able to .. .
there was the problem of where to
keep her. The maid couldn't be kept
out forever. He thought he might
stall her їп an apartment nearby
and tell people she was his young
niece Irom Minnesota, No ane would
suspect him of a lie like th

His thoughts were interrupted. by
а giggle from the other side of the
room. The girl's long hair hung over
one eye, the bathrobe had gotten all
twisted around her, and the sherry

empty.

“Wish I was big enough right now.
1. he looked at her,

she p
The follow:

g evening he was late

getting home. He had been walking
mily about the neighborhood,
considering places where a nymph

might be
about

properly kept. wondering
the problem of clothes, and
lly contemplating some of the
more pleasant aspects of the situation,
When he opened the door, ће те
ceived a rather severe shock. His
charming nymph was a fullsize wo-

man, completely and unmistakably
developed.

Daddy!” she cried. “I thought
you'd never get here. Look! Look!

I'm all grown up
Look he did and grown she was.

Her voice and mature.

“Mama’s been so lonesome all day.
poutcd.

Yes," he said, trving to gather his

wits as he sure the door was

(continued on page M)

the spell of

GAY PAREE
is everywhere

WM

атом эні ANNON.

PARIS IN NEW YORK

France holds a strange fascination for the rest
of the civilized western world. Some of us may
think the French are politically сессіпгік. and
may g

are пуй
of us ar

peeved at what some of their designers
to do to female fashions. but most
in love with the country and consider
Paris the most exotic. romantic city an carth.
Not everyone who dreams of Paris cm go
there, but fortunately lor the others, the city often
does some visiting of its own. New Yorkers can
enjoy a spectacular French revue at the Latin
Quarter with all the glitter and girls of the
smartest Paris night. spot.

PARIS IN LONDON

The English don't have to swim the in the very heart of London, with as
channel for а show with continental much nudity on the stage as in the
for a Folies Bergere Revne thrives dressing room.

PARIS IN CHICAGO

The Silver Frolics offers “Paris in
Chicago." with their beautiful, over-
dres

Mamselles Parisienne (ca-
' n the production numbers,
and equally beautiful. very un-
dressed dancers in the specialty
numbers

41

PARIS IN PARIS

There is, of course, nothing. quite
like the real thing—and the night
spots of Paris itse just a little
more fabulous, ex (c and
exciting than their counterparts
"round the world.

PLAYBOY

PERSISTENT NUDE (continued from page 38)

dosed. “I didn't expect—that is,
you've grown so quickly—
"Yes, yes—isn't it wonderful!
"Yes, yes—uh, couldn't you-couldn't
you put the bathrobe on again. It's
geuing hot in here—uh. cold
Т He realized, quite suddenly,
that he was not nearly as prepared for
this event as he had expected to be.
c the subject, he thought. Must
the subject. "Eve been look-
for a place for you to stay
But I think this place is adorable.”
a on his

bed. “Got a cigare
“But nymphs dont smoke, do they?

he asked.
“Who knows?" she sa
Td like to try. Anythin

once, don't you think?

1 think,” he said tying to get
some determ мо his voice,
“we ct you some clothes.
and the have to find a

р!

© for you to st
But 1 want to sta
insisted. “and wl
"Fm sure that's
sylvan grove
sare dilferei
let's not
awards him

ith you,” she
eeds clothes?
| very well in
our society
d we e
пу more.
from. the

he
bed.

the way ned it when you

he gasped, пуша to pull
free. "Wait а minute"
She kissed him hotly.
“Чор it” he panied, struggling.
“Stop it, you—witch'
The girl stiffened. She backed away,
her hands on her hips “Now look,
Daddy,” she said. “my being here was
your idea. You'd better start loosening
up and enjoying it, or you'll be sorry.”
idea at all.” Mr. Augustus
Му flustered. “А

slip of the brush.
“Why you boldfaced li:

"You phil.
Be careful of u
id.

She threw the
ad jumped on й

Au

stus

"Oh." said Mr, Augustus. "Oh. Oh.”
Now th; were rid of that
22s. 7 She advanced on hi

Augustus said.
advancing. “TIL
She stopped.
You're only

You must go.” Mr.
“You must” She kept
call someone.” he said
“TI have you put out.
my imagin:

» that’s the way it stamped
foot "Well g and call
You'll regret if you

nd touched the doorknob be-

hind him. He flung the door open

and ran. Већ t slammed shut again.

he heard her shout, *

The clerk was

You'll regret i
cading a comic book.

He started. when he looked up into

Mr. Augustus flushed. panicky lace.

"Theres a naked woman іп my

d she won't get out" he
"What-"

“Yes, yes. She's blonde, and she's

nel she's been there for days.

т out."

ed to

Augustus’ room two flights up.
Augustus threw open tnc door.

he cried ally, not

“Weil. 1 the clerk
said softly " ice
soft chuckle that graduated into а

vulgar howl, which resounded through
the hall as he walked back into the
hallway and into the е
ck. Us it.
wouldn't let the maid
What will the
And he

іп. Oh, y

май. You must
$ slowly turned H
om. It was empty. Then ће
h wall.

eyes to
w the

gusti

There. above his bed. where it
had previously been bare and w
was a lifesize mı
nude And some

worked with the р:
mischievous pixie look to the eves.

“Two dozen, please—and stop calling me “madam!”

44

A FEW TIMELY TIPS ON CUTTING UP THE BARNYARD CUT-

THE me TURKEY пау at the end of
the month reminds us that some of
these gay bids аге the most outstand-
ing two-legged philanderers ће
ters report on the робува
s observed amongst wild
ng the March and April
ing months. ngely, the most
ght after mates in the turkey world
с not young plavbovs but old gob-
blers — patricians who've been around.
for years and who. because of their
experience, cause submissive hens to
flock to them in droves.

А male gobbler doesn't want soft
lights for his amour. He prefers bright
sunlight. From his roost on a tree or
fence. he begins his noisy
obbleing love dall, When
shows, he spreads his tail feathers
a magnilicent fan, throws out his chest,

nd struts about the mostly
circles. This sort of nonsense
ently makes a big hit with fem
keys, and eventually vigorous old toms
collect harems covering two or three
miles.

At the same time, younger birds can
screech their lool heads off without
being noticed. In time, some of them
will learn the subtle art of turkey love
and they, too, will
Some never do n out,
and these sad birds become thin
tough while forlornly lool
little female companionship.

Polygamy is the rule with domestic

world. Hu
mous acti
turkeys du
ma

so

flocks. too. Female turkeys become
upset when too are
around. Turkey growers will tell you

that one tom to every ten hens Causes
undue disturbance during the m
season. One tom to every fifteen le
males not only makes for a more con-
tented flock. but also for greater fer-
tility

In other ways, too, the un

а қау bird. Some have been known
to enjoy racing, drinking, movies, and
adventure.
Racing turkeys wed to be quite a
or. In the 1800's, а famous bird
named Mad Billy beat all other entries
six years in a row on а Connecticut
turkey track, Не finally lost the sev-
to Long Johnny, his owner
п, and he was guest of honor
delicious roast. turke ner.
Drinking turkeys аге common in
Central America. “The birds are given
тит or whiskey just before they are
sent to the block for beheading. Li-

quor relaxes them and is. supposed: то
make them more tender, Normally
a few jiggers of rum will get the turkey

It became a. problem of drinking him
nder the table before serving him on
top of it.

The turkey world ha
магу, tou. “Though never as [anious is
Рае crowing rooster, Mr. Joseph
C. Shaw of Los Angeles owned bird
That cared 512 а day Гог playing i
barnyard scenes Гог the movies

And don't let yone tell vou the
y doesn't love travel and аду

In the 18505, American Clipper
ps curied them on long voyages
as good luck mascots.

‘The turkey is a full-blooded Ameri-
can. Ancient Peruvian writings d
scribe the gorgeous turkeys owned |
the emperor. It was st the law
for common people to cat turke

Belore the new world was discover
ed, the fowl nknown in Europe.
The first explorers brought wild tu
keys back with the d Europ.
soon domesticated the bird. As carly
570. Charles IX of France cel
ed a feast with a huge turkey din,
nglishmen also started to breed

its movie

Р

on farms. In fact,
іс turkeys in America
were brought from the old world to
the new, where the original settlers
were still munching on tough wild
turkey taken from the wood

Ben ted the turkey
should be our national bird instead of
the «а Franklin might € had
i he
had lived in 1954, which will see sixty-
one million turkeys produced on U.S
farms. Even a man with Ben's im:
nation might have had difficulty pic-
turing the turkey taken [rom ША Brass

45

rink editor

PLAYBOY

MENTAL ILLNESS (2224 pom page 87)

contribution to the “Price
ad he assures me thar it has
worked perfectly every time he has had
to use

So much for the mechanics of the
These visits are repeated until
the patient is (а) cured or (b) runs out
ot money.

EXAMPLES OF ANALYSIS

Occasionally, Dr. Dorsey will stay
(om the room with the patient
ness is slow in the haber
nes of his talk.

жуз ow

The Tk is what is called
Free n. This means he just
lies there and says whatever happens

to on to his mind. Although this
sort of thing will appear to have
significance to the kiyman, the ша
ice Method” analyst ст frequently
get valuable inform riding
the basic cause of the patient's disorder
by studying his seemingly random
thoughts.

Here
Dr. Dorsey's files, that ie
technique. First, we have the trans-
cription of the patient's. Free-Asse
tive monologue, followed by the doc-
tors analy

CASE NUMBER: 6745

тик PATIEXI: A large jovial man of
43, happily married jor 19 years, em-
ployed by an advertising agency. Com-
plained of restlessness and inability to
concentrate on work.

TRANSCRIPTION: .. Sure is hot tod
. had a great day at the office .. +

reg

gave Dick Davis а hotfont . . . haha
.. Davis has cute secretary . . . wore
low-cut dress . . . built like a million
doll have to deposit check . . >

like bank . . . cute girl im first cage
. wears low-cut dresses .. . built
Tike а million dollars , . . saw girl
Madison. Avenue . . - stopped to look
in window . . . stopped beside her,
followed her twelve blocks, wanted to
r little pinch . . . wore very

low-cut dress . . . bu e a million
dolls . . followed tall blonde . . ~
high neck dress . . . probably fri

„ hell with her ... crowded
store for lunch . . . short brunette
t swe buile like a
million dollars . . tv when I
gave her little pinch .. hell with her
222 rode subway One Hundred Twen
tyfifth Street and back . . ne luck
10202 saw redhead om Fortyfourth

.. wore t

Steet... if gained a few pounds
would be built like a millim dol

22. followed her in newsreel theater
22 чи down beside . . . gave lite

pinch . surprised such little theater
had such big ushers . . . hell with them
22-2 went to office . . . new elevator
operator . . plump ~ loose uniform

“үг-меллі. HEADGEAR

Treatment

*Fictitions number used to
patient's. real number.

conceal

46

*Fictitious drawing used to conceal
real drawing of patient.

... couldn't fool те... was built
like а million dollars . . . elevator

crowded gave her five little
pinches... rede down and up again
. gave her зік pinches . . . overcon-

ve her two more little
1 was only one left in
и suspicious... hell with

fidem... g

22. Went to office... conference
with J. P. . . his secretary wearing
low-cut dress . . . built like а million
dollars

ANALYSIS BY DR. DORSEY: This man
spends too much time thinking about
money.

CASE NUMBE 72-0

THE PATIENT: A small man of 51.
Employed as chief accountant by do-
mestic vermouth distributing company,
very happily married for ten months
to wije, 34 years old. Complained of
headaches and spots before ¢

TRANSCRIPTION: . . . Sure is hot today
... wonder what we'll have for din.

ner . . . Ethel fixed creamed mush-
тоот» again last night . . . three
months now Ive had nothing but
cre D mushrooms . . . Ethel likes

wonder if Ethel’s œu-
Charley dropped by today .
nice he can come over in afternoons
to keep her company ice lellow,
her cousin. Charley ys.
I never even knew | ad a cou
sin until that after зе home
carly fram work and happened to meet
him’... nice fellow . . . very fond of
1e, too... goes out in the woods and
looks for mushrooms . . . and he
doesnt even like them himsell . . .
Ethel hasn't eaten any of the creamed
mushrooms for the past weck, either
„ but | pretend 1 like them because
she and Cousin Charley sure enjoy
watching me eat than... they've
been tasting strange the рам week

ms tasted strange this

to fix them . .

akfast . but 1 hate to
complain... Ethel is so proud of her
ned mushrooms . . anyway...
anyway . . awwwwk . . . (choking
sounds) . . . Doc. could I have а glass

ob... (choking sounds) . . . Awwwkk-
kwwkkwwwkkk!
ANALYSIS ву DR. DORSEY: Rigor mor-

tis.

SASE NUMBER: 81-011-65

THE PATIENT: A (hin, worried look-
ing man with pronounced nervous
twitch. Indeterminate age. Hair pre.
maturely gray. Wearing blue suit. no
shirt, and а vasher of bacon on top
of his head. Walked on all fours. Com-
plained of unnatural fears.

TRANSCRIPTIONS . . . Sure is cold
today... I don't like cold because
they like cold . . . those spiss who
follow me and send atomic rays from.
their eyeballs . . . they want to force
me to fell but | won't. . . won't,
won't, FH. Kill them all .. ha-ha-ha-
ha 11 kill everyone . . . no. they'll
kill me... I can't escape . . . at lunch

sed myself by stuffing mashed,

es in my cars... but they still

snize me . . . they keep anyone
giving me a job... they've stol-

en all my money... 1 don't have a
cent lett)... Hm? What's that. Doc-
to ‚ No, its tue, D don't have a

a L don't know how ГИ be able
y you for—
BY DR. DORSEY: 4
gerer. iment discontinucd.
THERAPY (OCCUPATIONAL
If a patient сап be induced to |
and practice some simple mech:

cent
to
malin-

ical

skill. he wi ictimes forget. his o
inal worries and contusions and be
fooled imo thinking he is actually сэр

with life. (Ha!) In the spring of
1915 а man named Walter was recom-
aded to те by friends (my friends).

e was sufle: schizophren

g Пош

nervousness, and sis. | studied
this subject c v. He way a man
of unusual appearance. (See Figure

will notice, the subject had
an сус condition.

The eye condition was not part of
his psychosis, but was ciused by the
fact that he owned feo televi

Tre I must lose no time
іп geuing a's mind occupied.

Thinking of his interest in televi
sion, 1 set him to work in my w

shop. amd in а few weeks he had
invented a revolutionary new type

of elevis

The televi
onc inch hig
long. (Sec. Figure IV.)

It is for people who squint.

1 personally think ıl has
velous commercial possibilities.
does not agree. Neither does Philco.
(Some of those corp t think

set.

set has a screen just
but twenty-two inches

they smart should have their
he: ned. too, if vou ask me.)
Nevertheless, Walter agreed with me,

d he soon became so involved. in

plans to market his invention. that
within two months his general mental
condition rose twelve per cent and his

Recommended for advanced. cases.

This method requires deal of
complicated equipment, which you
use to pass ten thousand volts of clec-

city (slightly higher west of the
Rockies) through the patient’s body.
The equipment may either be pur-
chased or constructed at home with an
A. C. Gilbert Number 3 Erector Set.
(бес Figure V.)

This treatment. of course, cannot
be used on every Tom. Dick, or Harry
who comes along. When using this

technique you тим be careful to
choose patients who have long toes.
Also make sure that the patient is

not DC, or vou will end up with blow-
ing out a fuse (or patient).
Incidentally, if it should become

necessary, it is possible to drop slices
of bread down the subjects shirt and
make toast.
WATER TREATMENT
This treatment consists of plung-
ing a рапст rapidly into alternate
tubs of hot and cold water. It is re-
commended for ditty patients.
HYPNOTHERAPY
1 months ago I had a marked
ba pa-
placi а suong
папа ае what,
and then speaking to her quietly as

follows: "You should have a new
Buick, A Buick You
should get

This is what is uto-

шем
It is highly recommended by Adler,
ag. and General Motors.
CONCLUSION

These are merely а few of the ас
cepted methads of treating
disorders. There is not too
erature available on this subject (er-
tunately), although in 19 rand-
father Tooten began work on a twelve-
volume anthology that would corre
all of the known facts into one defin-
ive ucatise. But he couldn't get a
ribbon for his typewriter, so he quit
and started raising rabbits instead.
So much for treatments, We are

now prepared to take up the study of
Avoidism.
1 am.

узса:

In his important series of sci-
entilic articles lor PLAYBOY,
Mr. Price discussed Your
Mind and How П Works
(March), Testing. Your. Person
ality (June). and The Treating
of Mental Шпех (November),
Nest me he will explain
Avoidism. wn optimistic
philosophy designed to save
modern man from himsell. We
ob anno [ecl that this new
losophy is only slightly less
important and world shaking
than Darwin's Theory of Evol.
tion, Einsteins Unified Field
Theory, and Diers Plan for
Reducing the Birth Rate. We
know that the publishing of

s on Avoidism will

nce of some impor-

circles, as we

ady received several

tening letters and abusive
phone calls from various x

tists and scientific organizations.

BOXING (continued from page

them came up the ћ
the clubs, tak
to develop to ch:

| We were talking w
мег the other
married, with tw.
ht uwenty-seven

pic

twenty-seven,

children. He has
times and has
best men in his

ight,” ће says matter-
want to fight. 1 can beat
You tlk hungry
1 got two kids to feed

phones all over the

country. Always из the same. The
dub fighi are gone except in a
couple of cities. You ask for a spot өп
a television card, it's always, "Well,
haven't gor a name; or, ‘We'll see

we cin do, but it doesn’t look

good.

“L never have trouble
after 1 lose. Изо when
won't go near me

H

This boy won't get lights f
reasons: 1.) He's a fighters 1

that is, he is v ood
other fighters look bad. Managers
tying to build up their own boys
don't like to risk deflation at the

hands of a clever boxer. 2.

ager is an independent operator—

IBC doesn't own
tract.

What happ ex Od
difficult. to predict, TI
champs who still are
card:
With the dubs gone,

ny part of his con-

it will be

increasingly difficult to lind worth-
while competition for them. The sort
ol matching and. rematching

has alr
nd more comm:

ШП

rematching that
will become more
‘Television boxing will be
like wrestling, and the viewers will
go back to the “spectaculars” and old
English movies, When the ratings
drop, sponsors will start selling their
beer and. blades with some ош
kind of show, and boxing will slip to
а third-rate sport like soccer or motor-

суде hillclimbi
There is always the ch of
course, that some fine legislator who
(ys boxing may suggest а law or

two to curb IBC monopolistic ten-
dencies amd give the sport back to the
independent p ers. But until this
happens. you're g w be seeing
better fights at a hockey me t
in Ше rin

47

PLAYBOY

TURKEY
ge to be raised in confinement,
treated with ultra-violet rays and [ed
penicillin io stimulate growth. In
Ben's time, a full grown turkey weigh-
ed approximately eighteen. pounds.
Today, you can buy a bronze giant th
weighs forty.

mever the size of the bird, a tur-
key dinner must be prepared before it
can be enjoyed. and a man's part in
the preparation comes when it's time
10 carve.

Unfortunately, many a sophisticated
fellow has stood at the holiday table,
smiling confidently with carving knife
in hand. only to discover a few mo-
ments later that vou can't carve a
turkey unless you have а turkey. The
meur carver finds, when he at-
tempts to slice the first delicious mor-
sel. that even a dead bird can
wing, so to speak. The turkey ђе
moving as soon as he tries to slice it.

The carver may then recall that ће
is supposed to first insert the €
fork into the carcass to keep the пи
key in place. He wies this, but the
gobbler continues to slip about the
platter. The carver frowns, lowers
his head, and tackles the problem in
earnest. He jabs his fork violently
imo the turkey and the turkey slides
off the platter onto the hostess’ table
cloth, or maybe her lap.

Quickly uh
his fumble.

er tries to recover
nob on the side-

са

The

lines are shouting and jumping. and
when he finally does get the bird hack
imo place, his shirt [ront is covered

has,
cord

turkey fat and his necktie
become c

with
E

At this poin
Party Joke or two, ог mumble some-

п chicken
asurable.
а luscious

But the. differens: betwe
dl turkey is, after all. imm
h is the d

Latin boson suited to
the new Dior Look. Even the name
of our most. рори key is volup-

Гће
ve; the

ing

1 Breasted Bronze.

tuous: the Brox
chicken is nice and inoffen
turkey is rich with bre
curves. If you are served ll por-
of chicken, you excuse it, unde
ding that the chicken is a naturally
limited bird. But when the roast tur-
key is brought on, with its herb stuff-

s and brown siblet gravy, it is

great mound of joy. A chicke

disposed of quickly: the leg of

key, however, is а real event.
conductor raising his baton. you lift

broad

the drumstick in а sture of
delight, then munch away for all to
behold.

Turkey tacklers who set out to carve

the bird would be wise to take a tip

43

(continued from page 45)

or two from the professional cook,
who never approaches a turkey unless
is resting on a wooden carving
rd. The board should be dry and
Irec from grease, Carving boards sui
able for home use are able
household stores. One type ol boa
is equipped with chror
keep the bird from leaving the roost
Secondly, the professional cook is
equipped with a knife that is always
razor sharp. He uses the knife месі
frequently during carving operations,
Thirdly. he keeps a clean kitchen towel
within reach to wipe the hands or
the knife handle when either become
slippery. Fourthl key, he knows,
should never be ail it has
сеп ош of the i
ше». This pi

rd

spikes to

ing to subside, эс», n
for easier carving into clea
slices.

Here are the principal steps in carv-

turkes

the drumstick in one hand
ig knile in the other. cut
down to separate the drumstick and

thigh from the body of the turkey
Let the knife hug the side of the body
as it moves downward. It у be ne

drumstick а
them from the

cessary to twist the
thigh slightly to seve
body.

Cut between the drumstick and

Use the knife tip to probe be-
tween the leg and thigh joint. Again,
twist the two parts if necessary to sep-
arate them

3. Cut the drunstick in relatively
thick slices about 14 to 1⁄4 inch thick.
Turn the drumstick around is
being sliced. Or
whole if someone
for it. Cut the thigh in slices of the

me thickness, cutting around the

h bone when you come to it.

Cut off the wing at the joint
which connects it to the body.

5. Holding the bird with the fork
inserted in breast bone or keel bone
(the very top of the breast) start cut-
ting thé breast meat downward in
slices about 1% inch thick or less. Cut
parallel slices, using а long sawing

motion with the knife. Avoid cutting
slices that are too Јат neter
or too thick. Four thin slices taste bet-

e serv-
ə that
y from

Be st
rby
islerred. cas

ter than two thick slices.
ing plates or platter are ne
the meat can be tra
the carving board.

While the turkey is setting and dur-
the carving process, the meat nat-
Be sure that the serving
arm, that the dressing is
d that the gravy poured
over the turkey is bubbling hot.

For turkey parties, it is now possible
to buy the bird roasted and ready for
a slight additional cost.

are w

Some dealers, in fact, will provide you
with a turkey already carved, ог the
turkey carved with the meat put back
оп the frame, looking just as the tur-
key does when it is taken from the
oven,

TURKEY SANDWICHES
¢ groups. sandwiches should
ed beforehand and stored

rator until serving time.
Place the sandwiches on the platter in
which they are to be served and cover
them with a dampened cloth, towel

or napkin.
The butter for turkey sandwiches
should be left at temperature

until it is soft enough to spread. but
is not melt The butt ће
made stelul by adding hors

radish or worcestershire sauce to it
before spreading. To each

of butter add 2 teaspoons of dr:

horseradish or 14 teaspoon worcester
shire sauce.
Never use bread that is more than

a day old. If you're using rye bread,
be sure it is the sour-type rye, thinly
sliced. Spread one slice of bread with
Drape the
l. having it some-
n the middle than ai the
Place the top slice on the tur-
Press firmly. Cut. the. sandwich
ge the iwo halves
so that the cut side shows.

Along with your cold turkey sand-
wiches serve ed dill pickles,

big bowl of creamy cole d
huge тіре olives. Open dry light bee
as soon as the sandwiches are passed.

butter to the very edge.
turkey over the bri

what thicker
edge

кеу.

slaw.

TURKEY CLUN SANDWICHES
buttered
first

toas
two

Use three slices of
per person, Between the
slices of toast place slice
lettuce and mayonnaise. On top of
the second piece of toast place two
slices of crisp grilled bacon and thin
slices of tomato, Add the top slice
Г toast. ien with toothpicks if
the structure seems wobbly. Deliver,
along with the club sandwiches,
size platter of French fried potatoes.
Serve hot. freshly brewed coffee at
once and at frequent intervals therc-
alter.

GRILLED SMOKED TURKEY
saxpwic
Smoked turkey is a prepared pro-
duct that can bé purchased in delica
tessens, sliced by the pound. II vou
like fine hickory ham, yowll love
joked turkey. It should be sliced
paper thin. Like ham and cheese,
smoked turkey and checse are na
partners. Between slices of
bread place sliced cheddar cheese
sliced smoked turkey. Butter the out-
side of the sandwich generously wı
softened butter. Place the sandw
on the grill and close it. Serve at once
with shoe string potatoes and mixed

ale and stout,

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