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| AN. MEN 


A HOLIDAY EVENING»: 
Ἢ 


Voy ut 


WITH JANET PILGRIM 


| 
Ek wl 


na = 


PLAYBOY 


PLAYBILL 


PMAYNOY 1 Two YEARS ot», On birth 
days, surrounded by good friends, a man 

‘usually permitted a toast or two and a 
little speech, so we'd like to toss oll some 
thoughts on the progress of our favorite 


in our first isuc, we made clear u 
TLAYROY wasn't going to be a 
wile and kid 
plenty of publications of their own, 
Mavwoy's dedicted to the entertain- 
ment of the man of the house. Furth 
particular Kind of guy. 
icated, intelligent, urban in 
ried to make the 
magazine an exciting experience, both 
visually and editorially—a virtual hand: 
Look lor the young mamabouttnwn. 
We've succeeded to the extent that PLAY 
ο is now the largest selling quality 
priced (Socorovc) marine on news 


sta the mation: ma men 
Ro out and pay half a dollar for Pt Avaov 
Each month than [ot any other magazine 


n the United States, which means, in the 
entire world. 

A year ago, with a 
our cake, wc were exc 
iagazine's growl 
order « 


ginning. Th 
Sol 07 


rst 


Anniversary Issue 
and the demand raised dhe 


250000 for the February 


Issue, oo for April, 400.00 for May 
of this 


We 


printing aver foo noe 


tond Anniversary Issue and U 
Tation is still clin 
than growth, howeve 


t ol the m 


Tor we feet 


On birthdays it’s nice t recall some 
Of the pleasant experiences of the yea 
An independent survey conducted by 
Gould, Gleis and Benn, Inc. revealed 
the average PLavnoy reader was just 
the sophisticated man-ibouttown. we'd 


BEAUMOST 


[IS 


hoped-- twenty nine years o age, college 
educated. with à professional or cxi 
tive position: it alo indicated that 85“ 
Of the readers are college students. ΕΝ 
fing rLavuoy the Lirgest percentage fol 
lege audience of any national magazine. 

TLAVROY Was accepted. into m 
ship in the NBC. a mon profit organi- 
allo that audis he rations c all 
the top magazines for potential adver- 
ers: Writers Digest slated. vuv 
as the “new slick, hexury magazine” and 
‘one of the most outstanding success 

yarns in recent years" 

Two of rravnon’s photographic illay 
jons. lor Naked Lady (May) amd 
Coca Hour (Ocober). were 
selected or the Annual Exhibition of 
Art Directors 


Tuding 

's illustration lor The Aost 

rible Story (February) and Art Ler- 

ner’s drawing of Satchmo for Red Beans 

and Ricely Yours (February). Ῥιλγμον 
a Cen 


‘one lor 
LeRoy v illustration dor d 
Change of Mir (Fetauary), which was 
alio selected. exhibition 
ernment sponsored 
ling U.S. art aunt design. 

ezular illus 


an- 
which helps explain 
why rrAVBOV is one of the must exciting 


pictorial magazines being published 
day. LeRoy Neiman, who appears 
almost every ie and does all of Ft av 
boys fashion illustrations, is an instroc- 
tor in figure 

iute of Chi " 
prizes with his oil paintings. 
his canvases. Canyon, is presently 
a part of the i955 Carnegie Interna. 
tional. Imtiute οἱ Od Paintings a 
Carnegie B h, Pesmneyl- 
vania. Richard O. Tyler, whose woodcuts 
have illustrated Maughan's The Closed 


TYLER 


Shop (September), Zip Gun Boys On A 
Caper avene κά Brodit The 
Nest m Line in this iuc was honored 
ri a special exhibition of his woodcuts 
s all by the Smithsonian Insta 
United States National Museum, in th 
Smithsonian Building. Washington, D.C 
It has been a very ood year for Pv 
pox and we arc gracia Yo all of yon 
who have helped Yo make R that Í 
pepe: pe 
Tine one to the hope and plan 16 mile 
klavna the best” νι Sophisticated, 
o3 entertaining men's magazine ο 
Published 
This Second Anniversary Teme 
taints a good start. Carles Bean 
and Ray Bradbury "hare? bent 
Seil Contributors to e AYpo e pages 
Ίνα this is the it ie in which hese 
two good friends appear together, Bes 
monts versatile pen e Put to he eli 
‘ian amesin Ince sry and bury 
pins a tale of horror reminiscent οἳ E 
X Poe, Ray tels w hc 
ng Fahrenheit p à 
thetic produ 
ie Laoghnon and P y 
(Dom Juan tn Hel, Three For Toni 
Fahrenheit received itx hrn ma 
lication in Pianon lar ear 
αν Karel P back wih a 
‘on Nollywood 


abo wr me Christmas card verses, 
iMlustrated by cartoonists Cole, ‘Stine, 
Klein and Denison. Earl Wilson 


newer a nudist wed 
Mead. presents the seu 


ling, Shepherd 

win his new 

ticles on how to succeed 

without really trying, there a 
Mather Goose. 

ious, thoug! 


viis 
of al places, Jap 
Mon, Pays vtri i 
ager, Janet Pilgrim, hae Kindly con; 
Semed to pose for another Play 

picture and p! 

retest we hive ever published 


the 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


PLAYBOYS AT SEA 
and progressive loss of efficiency as the 
buses are i paded akraptin. the ch 


SEPTEMBER SATIRE. 
Browsing, 1 happened to ip open the 
September inue οἱ vivo d fom 
my κοι intrigued. 1 didn't re 
"lire how hungry was for genuine satire 
ni ewe your Cer Sh ond 
Spy Story. AM in al. mawsov proved o 
he my mr delight Απά in are The 
fiction Ë piring. 
Siwas 

Slate, Oklahom 


T want you to know that 1 particularly 
enjoyed Robert Sheckley's Spy Story in 
your September issue. Think it was one 
Of the greatest I've ever read, 
LR. Horn 
Chicago, Illinois 


BASIC WARDROBE 

Shame on ttaynoy, After reading 
fuk Kesies The aie Wardrobe, V 
have become dislisioned with, your 
magazine. What self respecting. playboy 
Would be caught dead without a tuxedo. 


and dinner jacket? Why, its almost as 

tad as finding a Madivon Avenue ad 

exec without a button-down shirt. Tt jt 

eut Tit continue to check 

toa tiat 

ο are not repeated. 
Mai "pee 

Wantagh, New York 

Kesies September stie covered only 

the fundo 


attire, like tam 
or am umbrella, s necessary, ut 
specialised and, therefore, wasn't” o 
red. Jack wil spend tome lime on fore 
mel dress în the January asue. 


RUSSELL IRREGULAR 
1 thought you'd enjoy knowing that 
Ray Rusell's amusing Sherlockian pas- 
tiche, The Murder of Conan Doyle, in 
the May isue of rrayvsov, will be listed 
m the archives of the Baker Street Ir- 
regulars im our national quarterly, the 
Baker Street Journal. ANL good wishes! 
‘Vincent Starrett 
Baker Street Irregulars 
Chicago, Ilinois 


MISS SEPTEMBER. 
In regard to your Playmate of the 
Month, September issue, what manner 
fof man is that, who would let a sweet 
young girl like Anne Fleming walk ap 
those stairs? In Texas, sir, she would be 
‘carried up — three at a time, T might add! 
William F. Chesnutt 

Kenedy, Texas 


THANKS FROM SAMMY 

1 would like to take this opportuni 

το thank you for the eraveos article οι 

me in your September ise. I was well 
‘written and 1 enjoyed it very mix 

Samay Davis, Jr 

Chicago, Minos 


ΤΗΕ PFRFFCT MARTINI 

Regarding September's pictorial, Mix- 
ing the Perfect Martini, you were on the 
beam until you wiped the glas with 


lemon peel aud wed a tiv. Si. γαι 
Pay play wi niy icai, vid te 
ost Ply 


So help me, Pse never read a finer 
issue of any magazine than the Septem- 
ber PLAYbOY— real gaser on all counts, 
Perhaps my favorite picce was the one 


ADDRESS PLAYBOY MAGAZINE 


11 E, SUPERIOR ST. CHICAGO 11, ILuINOIS 


on record collecting, I've been buying, 
trading and stealing records here in New. 
Orleans for over twelve years and feel 
Certain that, as those women’s ads say, 
“Tun in the know.” 
‘once paid $25 for a mint Ellington 
and lived on hamburgers for a week as 
ult. Necdless to say, 1 have a real 
n for this disc. The most 
cartchusting scene | ever witnessed. was 
in the movie, Blackboard Jungle, where 
those hopped up kids smashed the school 
teacher's wax collection. 
liked your selection bn 
complete. Even the most 
should include some Kenton, 
Bert Wydown, Jr. 
New Orleans, La. 


thought i 
ic collection 


DONT HATE YOURSELF 


be regarded so 
v "bachelor 
Tin married (happily 1 might add) and 
did 3 lot of courting in my day. but T 
παν a vinin when ray husband and 1 
married. Believe me we had no trouble 
Eetting me imo working order (#5 and 
$6 in your δε οἳ rol) we have three 
Children. ages four, three and one. 

o all jou men, keep right on hating 
yeunelve afterwards m ή 
proud of he fact that 1 wasn't an old 
and at sex beforc 1 married. 

Mri W. H. Lane 
Νέα, Texas 


Well, its about 
you and Mr. Archer sh 
Some sort of medal good for a free case 
beer for having the guts to bring the 
‘out in the open. 
Tm twenty-two years old and during 
the course of my young life Tve met, and. 
been thoroughly «disgusted with, all the 
various moanings and groanings from 
women which you describe. Maybe now 
that they realize that everyone knows 
what is g 
they'll be more sincere (but 1 doubt jt). 
Anyway, thanks for a truly great article 
and keep up the good work as yours is 
the best man’s mag out, bar none. 


! 1 believe both 
be presented 


5 nn 
Sheppard AFB, Texas 


Don't Hate Yourself in the Morning 
is the most honest, down to earth chror 

ide I've ever had’ the pleasure of read- 
ing. If more American men would 
educate themselves to these facts, T 
wholeheartedly believe we would all live 


PLAYBOY 


“I keep my 
Crew Cut 
neat all 


your with 


kiy yT 


For Men of Good Taste 


JODHPUR 


Made by Mexico's Finest Bootmaker 


ας —TRES CABALLOS E 
ov 'wesc this fee import 
Bre eh ar ος οσα κ 
Ty eerie Trpo epee 
taupe qualiy lender Kc toe c 
ing, ndings hing ος busines Rich Cor- 
diyan Brown, Tan ος Blade Sizes 5 10 
13, Order by rail giving size and wide, 
Satisfaction Guaranteed. 

Send [or free Joder of ether natalem 
‘hocks For oversees iMipmcer odd 32 
NAVARRO BROS. 

720 San rom S, HI Paso, Texes, Dept.“ 


in a bener word. T know the girls 
would. 
Cy Martin. 
‘Rochester, N. Y. 


T think the article, Don't Hate Your- 
selj in the Morning, is ridiculous. Mr. 
Archer probably wrote it because some 

His 


girl has just devirginiæd hi 
Knowledge of women is sadly Jacki 
Perhaps be should try writing ag 
when he gets to about his filth woman. 

iss Kathryn Bishop 
Beverly Hills, Calif. 


"Men are men,” "women are women,” 

un is fun.” These are representative 

diches of a contemporary ideological 

thought trend which is most disturbing, 

amd should be as 

- The most exciting thing 

people, both men 

‘one is different, 
lve 
ing is a blesi 


it cad 
dual 


slay οἳ every 4 
hh. none should. desecrate. Wes the 
‘hing that we Americans have paine 
Canal develope, nurtured, protected: 
Sd which we lant proudly in the facs 
οἱ those les fortunate and tes spiritu 
Sy, mentally, physically and emotion 
Ally dercloped than cunchves 
Nos to be κας tan z ha, ut there 
ὡς. of it many diferent 
= by many diferent qndi- 
What i funny to onc may, in 
o another. (A pood 


viduals 
fact, be repulsive 
old-fashioned weenie roast satisfies my 
own taste, but a good old fashioned 


lending seems to be what it takes to 
satisfy some other peoples seme of 
humor) Even in jest, there is both good 
and evil. 

Your article, Don't Hate Yourself in 
the Morning, was the vilst pice of 
anti individualist propaganda I've ever 
read. Besides being exceedingly of- 


fensive, this article was οἱ 


'enlighuennent" 
virginity and 


Commentary, 
shadows too long and needs some healthy 
ing. But the shoddy manner in which 
Jer Writer handled the subject. sp 
ding generously throughout the article 
the names of 
triss giving ul 
that his (the author's) narrow and 
ited "opinions" are accepted medical 
facts, is a shameful violation of the 
tegrity of the psychiatric profession. 
impresion that Mr, 
caves the reader wi 


impression, is 
1t of unforgiveable sin for a mai 


Archer is campaign 
interests ol bachelors Th 
his counterpart, the old ri 
ried became hc has been unable to 
ἃ mate of the opposite sex to live 
That bachelor certainly wont to get ma 
ried. raise families, and follow the b 


miliar patterns of organized society. 
Jane Ross 
New York, N. Y. 
PS. Ian editorial apology should re 
sult from this or any oth 
we can do without the standard snide 
Temarks about “the wil sol the 
female mind” and/or “this is à man's 
κ anyhow. what i à woman 
doing reading H?” Tam, as a matter ot 
n admirer of your publication and 
interested in increasing, Hts circulat 
that’s why all the interest. 1 would par- 
larly like vo aller bravoes for Charles 
Beaumonts The Crooked Man, w 
was am excellent story, intellige 
formativ truly 
tive and 1 
Y critici is taken in the iriend 
that it is offered. 
We've tremendous respect for the in: 
dividual, Jane, and we consider a man’s 
ight to be diferent a fundamental part 
of his. freedom in a democracy, but 
downed if we know whot that's got to 
fo with Archer's article. He never mg- 
gested that n bachelor shouldn't get mar- 
fied (though there's a lot to be said on 
that subject too, and we said some of it 
în an article published more than a year 
ago, Open Season on Bachelors, June, 
1954). He abo indicated carly in the 
article that he wasn't writing about oll 
women: "Dr. Kinsey pointed out that 
‘about half the women in America are 
Tonsvirgin by the time they mary. It 
Should be mode clear at this point that 
this article as principally concerned with 
the 50 per cent who do or will, ot with 
the 50 per cent who want to but won't 
The “main impression” that Mr. Archer 
wanted to leave with readers wes pretty 
clearly stated in the article's title and 
“Don't hate yourself in 
= yow weren't the only one 
having fan His point: If a young lady 
goes to bed with a man, it is because she 
wants to end any weeping and walling 
that takes place, before or after, is for his 
benefit and to case her conscience. 


ἂν igit 


fter fini 
rrAvsov m 
Archer's article, Don't Hote Yourself 
the Morning, I secretly gave everlasting 
thanks for such enlightening. informa 
tion coming my way. It appears ú 

wes in that omod mino 
bachelor males who 
of the am; 


's proposals, 
That was last Vd right now 1 
am tenderly nursing a swollen eye and 
two livid looking lumps on my chin, 1 
bear neither rt Ay Boy nor the author any 

c. but I definitely think a word of 
caution should have been inserted for 


not possess 


y and amorous techniques 
necessary for such an undertaking? 

Robert P. Adams, Jr, 
Reno, Nevada 


Katy King, she Tad a diamond ring - 
TID wouid be the lucky one to get i 
All the fellows wanted to knon 
She said: 

Tahe your finger of it, 

Don't you dave ta touch it, 

‘Cause it don’t belong to you. 

"Talat na use to erat it, 

Mames gonna save it 

For the Sen whose love is trie 


We were sitting up front near the 
bandstand in Chicago's jazz spa, The 
Blue Note (3 N. Clark), when Lizzie 
Mites pelted the people with these rather 
uninhibited blues fric. As she sang, 
her big body rocked in easy rhythm: be 
hind her, lob Scobey and his Frisco 
Band wailed out thc accompaniment 
Sharing a table with Lizzie between sets, 
we asked her if anyo 

turbed by a posible double 
the words. Lizzie looked horrified, then 
incredulous before answering, "AM de 
pends how a penon thinks, doesn't it^ 
For ws, Ligzie's just abon ES 

of the oldtyle blues shouters with a 
gutsy, outgoing delivery that's reminis- 
cent of the late Bowie Smith, whom 
Lirzie admired a lot. She's left the Blue 
Note since, returning to her old haunt 
in New Orleans, the Parisian Room, but 
you can hear her on lusty Cook LPs 
titled Flot Sones My Mother Taught Me 


(1183) and Moans and Blues (11 
Louis Armstrong's latest Columibia LP, 
Satch Plays Fats (CL 708), makes us 


think wistfully of the Hot Seven days, 
when Louis would do up brawn such de- 
lights as Potato Head Blues. Is not the 
unes that arc only fair on this recordi 
—they're all by the late Fats W 
rather Satchmo's unimaginative blowing 


and the cute, commercial tricks per 
petrated by both Louis and the ense 

ble (Irummy Young, Barney Bigard, 
Billy Kyle, Velma Middleton, ef aL). 
Fats deserves a better tribute than this 


Eartha Kitt is certainly one of the 
most distinctive tonsil-wigglers around 
thee days, able to romp through the 
in a wide assortment of lan- 
guages, both foreign and domestic. We 
Suggest you listen to the kitten on her 
"w Victor ollering Down to Eartha 
LPMI109) if you crave the sexy, sn- 
saucy lady at her most provoc- 
ative. Theyre bound to run out of 
ins for these LPs soon; an carlicr disc 
was titled Thot Bad Fartha. 


An old high school buddy of ours, Lou 


With him is a dedicated band of modern 
brigands led by Stan Getz, Shelly Manne 
and Conte Candoli, none of whom need 

ny endorsement from us: they perform 
as fine as their reputations would lead 
yeu to expect. 


If traditional jarz is your stein of beer, 
the Good Time Jazz label serves up a 
series of barclooi stomps by such spir 
ited syncopators as George Lewis, Turk 
Murphy, Kid Ory and Pete Daily, cach 
with his respective gn 

Band Ball (12005) the rca 
tainly not meant to bc a contest but we 
ceres Joudly for the Lewis uew, espe 
cially Georges haunting clarinet pas 
sages on Burgundy Street Blues. 


We like to see a new record a 
emerge in the dassical field. especially 
onc that enters as auspiciously as the 
Unicorn libel One of their first re- 
leases, The Golden Age of Brass (UN 
1005), presents Seventeenth Century 


works from Italy, England and Germany 
riiandy played and recorded hy a 
brass ensemble culled from the Boston 
Symphony. Composers include Gabrieli 
Pareell and Bach in several ot their 
more neglected works, The sounds that 
emerge, ancient though they be, sound 
strangely modern and surprisingly akin 
to the current Kenton brass section. 
Another Unicorn offering, French Mod- 
ems (UN 1005), displays three "Twen. 
icd Century giants, Milhaud, Hong. 
ger and Poulenc; the somewhat morc 
tempered SsintSaens; and the debut on 
LP οἱ Roland Manuel, in an exciting 
collection of chamber music for wind in- 
struments. Both are excellent record. 
ings, with dust jackets done up as tastc- 
fully as any we've seen. 


dining 
drinking 


‘The Roma in New York City (Sd 
Ave., betwecn 461h and 47ih) is barely 
the size of two commemorative stamps 
laid end 10 end, but there's still room 
enough for “Mr, Paul" Christi to hustle 


‘spagherti amd linguine in 
dam sauce over to your table, 
Music floats in over a beat-up radio that 


was old when Garibaldi was a boy, and 

Plays nothing but Rosini. Out back, 

Mama Christi labors lovingly with Veal 
il: 


lets worth of scalloped veal im lo 
brown in buuer for 2 min 

half a glass of Ma 
let it evaporate for several minutes, 
then cover the pan; serve any time after 
that. 


A subterranean swing mill in Chi 
cago, The Cloister Inn (900 N. Rush), 
boasts a spellbinder in Lurlean Hunter, 


Dido working on Aeneas, 
more crowded weekends, the devotees 
ck the pimobar four deep, but you 
lont Bear a when Larltan 
Starts warbling such hab lullabies as 
The Nearness οἱ You or In't h Ro- 
"mint? Mer cohorts, Roy Baruem on 
no and Dave Peshonka on bas. com 
nite a wesdy, modern juz beat thats 
ht up to omui. H youd rather avoid 
the vpimed Friday Saturday revelers, we 
Suggest a wecknighi viit-Aehen this re- 
‘alcove. functions with 


Y might except Mo 
tuesday, at which time the wee band- 
1 iv ably occupies by Dick Marx 
igo. bs, both oi 


books 


For Christmas and New Years cele 
branes, the season would be dull indeed 
Without warmiy spiked portions ol egg 
fog and at les onc copy Of The Abe 
Bites Songbook. (Doubleday. S130) 
this wacky welter Fas obla. teg 
soon for Abe to cue Μ Latest smash 
For Every Man Theres a Woman 30 
Hee Come 1 Wound up with Yont, but 
you wil find both. wond: amd cay 
erence οσον 
The Gul withthe Tre Blue 
Eyes, 1 May lie Sick and The Duke of 
Dittendoren, this kat a memorable Op. 
trewype peret, Im dion. yeu 
itam dinotnating introdection by the 
ο alio coauthored Guys 
tnd Dolls, Caw Can, cic expla 
why he bothered to pen d 
Tmuerpiecer in. this collection Fine 
singing Wall lor thee big holiday 
pod 


If you can't get to New York u 
Cat on a Hot Tin Roo}, youl relish 
the printed version of the galvanic Ten- 
mesce Williams drama (New Direc 

ingredients of 
we 


are crackling conflicts, crusty char 
izations, and the crisp, lyric dia 
logue that is Williams" greatest virtue. 
"The script reads like lightning. smacks 
of limelight and gremepaint-and yet i 
profoundly human. Even if you did see 
the show, this book gives vou the chance 


Elia Kazan, ‘The original wins hands 
down for our money. The one used in 
the show is a makeshift compromise 
complete with a Lastminute character 


a stagey electrical storm, and a 
canmgles reentrance of Burl ives for 
the sole purpose of cracking a bawdy 
joke about am elephant. Its a pretty 
good joke, at least, and the trumped-up 
Act won't dim the pleasure you'll get 
from reading this socky sizzler. 


Noel Coward (or, as Lorenz Hart so 
accurately pronounced it, Noel Cad) 
seen fece in drap 
paperback. potpourri ol his short 
ον der Bay and songs, tule. 
amazingly enough. Short Stores, Short 
d Somes by Noel Coward (Dall 
ion, ἔκ). Οἱ the twenty ane 
wane items, What Mad Par i 2 
delt nile the back-type story of the 
Hollywood wa Sad) Lie K 
the delicate drama of infidelity that be 
Came the movie Brie) Encounter; and 
the songs include such tcddibly dabiing 
Clasics αν Don't Put Your Daughter on 
the Stage (her bust is too developed for 
her age) 


Steve Allen, a fast guy at the Stein 
to be just as crafty at 
a portable-witness his 
t nest of short stories titled Fourteen 
ν Tonight (sponsored by Henry Holt, 
It's comforting to know that Steve 
skips the comer pub after the nights 
TV labors, and chooses to bat out such 
spry, wry items as thee during the 
shank of the morning. Among other 
things, the stories describe the demise 
οἱ a flirty wife, the misadventures οἱ a 
soned uncle, the cool singing of a par- 
lor maid, and a brief η 
homesexual—set to paper swiftly and 
with substance. ix 


films 


The Tender Trap, a celluloid version 
‘of the Broadway comedy by riaynoy: 
regular Max Shulman and Robert Paul 
Smith, is a clever confer 
unmarried theatrical ager 
matra), his married crony 
Wayne), and the women in their re 
ives. The script is adult (not 
img such things as pa- 
is) amd (he direction, by 
Chuck Walters, has snap and savvy. 
Sinatra, who is described by one char 
acter as “attractive, in an eff-beat, 
beat-up sort of way," runs away with the 
show, but Wayne follows close behind. 
As for the women, there are Mrs. Eddic 
Fisher and a number of walkons. all 
equally darling and equally dense: 
there's ako Celeste Holm, a viai 
her congenital ailment, fallen archnes. 
Of course, Hollywood makes it: usual 
obeisance to conventional morality— 


pleasant picture 
une, sung once b 
Sinatra and once 100 often by Debbie 
Reynolds, 


Hollywood now and. then likes 10 
p lur cinematic teeth ol 
the more explosive social si 
bubble and seethe around us. (On the 
Waterfront, Blackboard Jungle), olien- 
ne with telling effect, In Trial. writer 
ἐς and director Mark 
meaty swipe 
tactics In che Ὁ δ, 
y diui as the "AIL Poo: 
7! dnd come up with ἂν dev 
ting a hunk of contemporary exp 
A youre likely to sce. [he locu are 
these Glenn Ford. a 
stmaor, is dra 
teenage boy of M 
a charge of rape and murder. Co-cóumcl 
{and card caring) Amor Kennedy, 
fick to spot à potential party marty 
hips wp à corker of a Madison Square 
Garten rally, ostensibly to rawe defense 
mak forthe haples boy. Complications 
ana blootpresures pile wp as. the 
Zip and performances combine 10 
Make this a sarling lm. 


descent against 


Gene Kelly, who has plenty of know 
ne between the cars ax well as in his 
feet, continues to be the whitest hope of 
the flmusical. His latest, όν Always Fair 
Weather, spotlights himsell, Dan Dailey 
and choreographer tumed-actor Michael 
Kidd in an inventive romp about three 
war buddies who meet alter a decade to 
Ënd their friendship has gone ph: 
Naturally, everything turns out fine at 
the fade-out, and before then ther 


ocalizing, Dolores Gray. bugle-niced 
rom Brodway. sings And 
' songs loudly and well, is amus 
ing as a coving TV star, Cyl Charisse 
drites dully through mos of the film, but 
in her single 
ber. Hal (861000. 
Hh has a lot of lun with 


alltoo-short dance m 
Question) 
his bit as a 


io by Kel 
the tune of The Bue Danube! as 
fol their inner selves takes a volo, th 
CinemaScope screen shrinks to à stall 
rectangle just large enough to frame the 
"singers" face. The Comdes 
script i clever throughout and 
bbing the Madi 
νε of th 


etc), and Da 

ded up ad exec, has a devastating drunk- 

en dnce sequence. Al in all its a top 
leniwie, 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


navna EY 
DEAR PLAYBOY > ass 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. s 
A CLASSIC AFFAIR—eion. CHARES BEAUMONT 4 
THE MAGIC LADY—persenality — — ντος LOWNES m 11 
PLAYBOY'S CHRISTMAS CARDS—pictoriat d E 
τε NEXT IN LINE—Retion : JAY BRADBURY 15 
UNCOVERING A NUDIST WEDDINO—orticle EAR. WISON 17 
THE FIRST SAP OF MANHOOD—sotire SHEPHERD MEAD Y 
GOURMET GIFTS FOR CHRISTMAS eed — THOMAS MARO 21 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES humor - ari 
CENSORED MOTHER GOOSE—vatieg 00000 1. 
A MOLIDAY EVENING WITH JANET PLLGRIM—pleorial —cs 
MISS DECEMBER—pleybey's playmate of the month a 
A LADY'S HONOR—humar — — — MAY RUSSEL. 39 
BURLESQUE IN TOKYO—pictrtel —— — κο 
THE SPICE OF \IFE—ribold de — -GUY OE MAUPASSANT 50 
PLAYBOY'S CHRISTMAS BAZAAR—buying quide — — 54 
een M, HEFNER editor and publisher 
το executive editer ARTHUR PAUL ert director 
JACK J. Kost associate editor JOSEPH PACZEK ausstont t director 
ADON SPILERS adtertising manager JONN MASTKO production menager 


Playboy ie rublishd monthly by the HMH Publishing Ce. Inc, 11 E 
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AOSAV'Id 


vol. 2, no. 12— december, 1955 


a classic affair 


fiction BY CHARLES BEAUMONT 


hank’s extramarital interest was a doozy 


IT TOOK HER QUITE A WHILE to get around to it, but that's the way 
Ruth is, and there's nothing you can do except wait. The direct 
line doesn’t work. I'd tried it once and she'd married Hank. So 1 
sat there, Watching her wind up, and waiting, wishing she weren't 
so damned pretty: it didn't make me feel much like the friend of 
the family I was supposed to be. 

Finally I couldn't take it any more. I finished the coffee and got 
up and started to go. But she caught my arm and looked at me, 
very hard, and said, “Dave, I've got το talk to you about some- 
thing." I kept quiet. “I've got to talk to you about Hank,” she said. 

OF course, at first I thought she was kidding. There was a time 
when she might have pulled such a gag; but I reminded myself 
that this wasn't my Ruth. This was Hank's another person en- 
tirely. A housewife. Feet on the ground, eyes on the budget, not 
the sort to pull gags. 

But even so 1 couldn't quite believe what she was saying. I'd 
been gone almost a year — the Europe thing: partly to reorient 
myself and get it all straight, partly as a dirty trick: Ruth and 1 
had planned the trip together — but a year isn't very long. Not 
long enough, anyway, for a person to reverse hischaracter. And yet 
this was apparently what had happened. Because Ruth was telling 
me that she and Hank were breaking up, because she had discov- 
ered that he was no longer faithful to her. It boiled down to that, 

You'd have to know the guy to understand what a blast it was. 
1 mean, I was never crazy about him, we weren't the Best Friends 
some people thought, but I guess I knew Hank Osterman as well 
asanyone did, And the biggest thing I knew was that he was just 
exactly what he seemed. A solid, substantial citizen. No-nonsense 
type. Mr. Average, in every way. Except that he loved Ruth 
Almost as much as I did, maybe: and when you feel this way about 
Ruth, extra-curricular activities simply don't interest you much, 
‘They couldn't, 

“When did you find out?” I asked. She was getting ready for a 
cry, but that was all right. 

“About three months ago,” she said. And then she told me the 
whole story, It was classic stuff. How he had failed to come home 
on time one night, and how he had gradually turned moody and 
secretive, and the rest of the routine. When she came to the part 


ILLUSTRATED BY HOWARD MUELLER 


PLAYBOY 


10 


where she followed him, she looked 
away. 

1 told her never mind, get on with it. 

"Well... She glanced at the clock; 
it yas three diy. We were safe 

“Come on,” 1 aid. 

She started talking to herself. "It was 
ten-something. He'd been fidgeting, pre- 
tending to read a magazine, but you 
could tell—1 mean, 1 could. 1 could 
tell something vas wrong. Always before 
Hank would get sleepy around this time. 
Now he wasn't sleepy at all. He'd turn 
a page and Took at fe, and then Took up 

at anything, actually — and keep 
doing this until 1 thought Fd go insane. 
Then he said he was going for a walk. | 
asked him if he wanted company but he 
ο he was nervous and had a head 
ache and a walk all by himself would 
probably clear it up. So he went out 
is was about the seventh or eighth 
time it had happened, and hed been 
acting vo strangely, that —" 
"That you decided to we what was 


ει” She fied me nov 
nd what var upr- 
followed him for around seven 
Mods ὡς Gd "down co where River 
tide and Alameda come together you 
now: He stopped on the corner thre 
She, was ting Han te 99 ! 
helped Ber out a ite. "So far nothing 
m excited about’ 
"Ro? What about this, then? He went 


then he got into one of the car in the 
back, fe oe 


Sudows, where nobody 


low should 1 know?" She blew up. 
you think I wanted to stand there 
and watch the whole filthy thing?” 

"Why nou" 

"Oh. Dave, for heaven's sake! Am I 
supposed to be a chid? Isn't that 
enough?” 

1 walked over to the stove —still 
afraid that this was all too good to be 
true — and got the pot and poured some 


more coffee. "You mean you didn't 
reallly see him meet anyone?" 

"Νο," she said, “I didn't, 1 didn’t have 
10. 1 mean, isn't it plain enough? Must 
1 show you pictures or something?" 

"Take it easy.” 


"IVS a woman, all right.” she said. "1 
don't see what else it could be except a 
oman, do you? He's pot all the symp- 
toms; believe me, All of them.” She 
raised her eyes at that, "He hasn't come 
lose to me for months," she suid, and 
waited for it to sink in. Te dic 

1 changed the subject in a hurry. 
“How many times have you gone after 
him?" 1 asked. 

"νε or a 

“Always the same 

“Exactly the sine: 

1 brew down the coffee. Everything 
was getting too warm. I had to be care 
ful, "P see what T can do," F told her. 

"You won't tell him 1 —" She came 
dox: to me, "You know what T mean.“ 

“The soul of discretion," 1 said. and 
moved toward the back door. "Will he 
he there tonight. you suppose?” 


ing? 


She came coser. "Hes there every 
night” I remembered the smell of her 
hair and the softness of her arms, sud. 
denly, all in sharp focus, and 1 wanted 
to run. 

“Dave,” she said, touching my hand, 

1 want this thing to work, Í want itu 
be all right between Hank and me. You 
grew up with him; maybe hell tell ou. 
Please help and make it all right." 

TI do what T can." 


She tried to give me one of those non- 
committal kiss, but 1 managed to get 
‘out the door. 

1 went home and took a shower and 


= η fo path it up, Da 
αγ your best, If it can't be done, ler 
talk some more, Wasn’e that it? 

T thought about what she had told me 
about Hank, and it was certainly pecu. 
liar, but it didn't make me feel bad: Not 
bad at all. 


1 parked four blocks away and locked 
at miy watch. It was crowding ten nov. 
and Ruth had sid that would be plenty 
οἱ time, 30 L got out and started walkin 
toward’ Rivenide amd Alameda The 
streets were pretty quiet. T walked and 
ied co pure things out. but dxy 
foun’ Ας together Wah somebody 
se, maybe. Dot somehow mot wilt 
Hank. 

oi μας 1 μα 
* stright She loves the guy. 1 kept 
teg anel and 1 en it = 
Yes by God. that's what TH do. For 
Rech we. Then FI go right cs to) 
Being a friend of the frail od buddy 
buddy Dare 

Tike hel 

FI Jest Hp Hank dake the gi — 
and its a gal all rb prekati a 
secretary, ont of the standard his ind 
then Ti] set out And way out 

eros ‘the suet I saw din. There 
couldnt be any mir. cheap μάς 
Stooped shoulder, that old man's walk 

Tad even as a ki. 

"Hey Hank 

He whipped around and blinked unit 
1 was clone enough for hira to make me 
out, then he walk and suck his hand 
forward. He'd looked bad the one night 
Y spent over at his howe ht week, 
the Welcome home party, but nos he 
por or $. 

"What are you doing around here?” 
he asked. x 

T told hin. "Looking for 
1 said, "Hank, 1 want to talk with you. 
Lets gmb a drink" 

He shook his head. "No, thanks I'd 
rather not. not this time, anyway." He 
Kepe glancing over his shoulder at he 
το ie was prety obs 

Tet him Rave besh Carre row 
Ruth this afternoon." 

“On? tt didnt register. 

“She called me up. Thats why T cane 
cover while you wert at work 

He nodded, bur T could κε it still 


hadit penetrated. 
Look, Hank” I mid “we've been 
friends for about fifteen years T goca 
πε can tak to each other by now. Cart 


‘Then 


why, of coure.” he sid. "I mean, 
Bell ye, of coume. But couldnt wc 
make) it tomorrow, Dave? For lunch, 
mae 

Tie Was headed down the, uroer for 
the comer. 1 got his sieeve, “Why? Do 

Tave a pressing engagement?" 

ος Daves That P. do have 
something on 

T walked in front of him. “Ruth told 
me a mory." 1 a "Now rd Hke to 
hear your versinn of i 

what?” For the first time he seemed 
to come mut ol iL His eyes Tow tot 
klany hooks "What do you mean? 

“You want to discuss ü h 
middie of 

"Ves he 
the eet 


rs, in he 


the middle of 
fine.” 


"The urge to swing on him psec, and 
{found ysl feeling confused: “Shes 
waiting for you mov, Í suppose? 

He nodded. “She waits everynight for 

‘AM 1 could say wa, 

“Come along” M <: 
E» 

T said no, of ccune, bot he insisted, 
so 1 followed his o the comer, sil not 
Completely able to accepi things 

Hank turned, then, and sared 
"he oc It was πῆς na singe of bulb 
νη 
3 dark place with a lot of pared car 
that you couldnt see very wi 

"Do jos remember hit” he asked, 

sea amazing, We weed u 
Tons ic every day — hundreds οἱ times 
Kd never give W a second look 

1 adjusted my eyes to the blackness, 
The car 1 sie, were antique modiis 
roost ig square Boats the kind you 
τας im Chaplin and Field Wes 


“Who is she?” 
4. "TII introduce 


and Auburns and old " 
Fuesed, Over the salesman's im 
Tead: SPRINGFIELD'S VINTAGE AU- 
TOMORILES. 

Well, it was an original trysting-spot, 
anyway. 

Hank pulled me along, past all the 
ancient crates. Some of them were or- 


ange with rust, nothing but heaps ol 
rotten metal. twenty and thirty years 
914. A few didn't seem to be anything 
bot shells 

He stopped by the tiny wooden house, 
and grinned. Then he leaned against 
fone of the boats "You still want the 
introduction?" 

1 nodded, Why not? 1 was this far 
already, Sure, trot her out and well all 
havea nice sticky sen, 

He stepped back. Dy this time 1 could 
xe pere. “All righ then” hem 
“Come over here.” 

1 did. He walked around and opened 
the door o the car, “David, please meet 
lis Duesenberg. Miss Duesenberg, a 
ood friend David fenkinon ο 

T looked inside the car, 

(continued on page 14) 


not to have heard mabel mercer is to be a little poor in life 


BY VICTOR LOWNES II! 


πη 
America may be 
m whose nane will draw a blank 
Stare trom Laihdu juke-box feeders: 
Mabel Mercer š 
Make no mistake: she's not spectacula 
she won't blast you of the bar stool 
dile you with trumpet tones, titillate 
you with tricky technique. In fact, you 
Tray nor even appreciate her the hoi 
time around. Bente ike many of life's 
food things (Scotch, olives. Hoquelort 
Rico), her subile brand of tinging Ë an 
nequired taste — 
i isa Tile surprising, then, to die 
cover that Miss Meteer is considered the 
Kohinoor of interpreters of luscious 
love pies by such spellbinders as Frank 
Thy sur Kat Cele, Peggy Lee 
and Margaret Whiting—to mention just 
ten, When Earl Wibon recently re 
fered dut Joe DiMaggio und fomir 
ide were seen clutching mois hands 
ina smart, upstüm boite on New York's 
Fast Side, odds on the pairs eventual 
reconciliation shot wp like a December 
Sales chart on Christus tree ornament. 
Te wasn't the handhokding or the heady 
locale that mpresed the romance tout 
“ry they simply had proper respect for 
the misty maple doled. out by Mabel 
Mercer, then featured. vocalist at the 
Byline Room 
Today, Mabel spins her special web 
six nights a week at another New York 
bistro alied The Pin Up Club, (She was 
forced to leave the Byline Room because 
of what some people reler to as an Act 
Of God- he place burned to the ground 


Sbut what others insist was the di 
result of the warmth gen 
Mabel's intimate interpretations) She 


doesn't arrive at work until sometime 


after eleven an arrangement thut givet 
fer plenty οἱ opportunity to dine with 
frends and attend the theatre πι At 
the cub, ina back room entered through 
swinging doors with 5. plaque st 
Sse Mere Ron. she cha 
SU Customers for while; then, excu 
Ig heneil, hell move toa leather nro 
"drin front of the piano. There shell 
Sit her bands folded in ber lap, a single, 
soit spotlight playing on. her sensitive 
Eze; tne pianist will pick out a quiet 
intro; ond Mabel will sing, Then you 
discover jut what magic tbe lady has 

Tor a le while as the shadows move 
over die darkened room. you are mo 
Fonger a part of the present, You remen 
be what i lke το walk through Cen 
ἘΠῚ Park with a gir în the autumn rain 
ou remember what itis to be in love 
Tha be loved, o have a pr and to lose 
her. These is no vocali around who ean 
trandate thes feelings into quiet reality 
Sewell se Mabel. The song is hen, but 
the sendineat Des your ovn, and as 

he simpra love ric by Cole Porter these 
Seem tobe the very words you would use 
to expres your sta of heart to the gil 
Sing next to you, And funny, when you 
Sueste her hand, your companion seems 
winced that yov are saying these wom 
teal things. io Some very practiced 
Don Juans have discovered with delight 
the fect that this cam have on even 
euiedy.unimpasioned young ladies 
The Mercer magic can be well nigh it 
resi: 

Mates special siyle has eared her 
the soubriquet of "he Great Catalyst 
λος she supplies the strange chemistry 
Garry Hort called it “that untee clasp 
Strand") that turns a guy and a gi 

{continued om poge 7) 


n 


Will not 
But just c little Lincoln Contine 


` PLAYBOY'S CHRISTMAS: CARDS ι΄ 


GENTLE HINT 
TO THE GIRL NEXT DOOR 


Like a Tom without the Jerry, 
Or like holly minus berry, 
Like Adeste sans Fideles 

Is the sprig above my trellis. 


"Since my domicile with women is accoutered rather 


2 3 sparsely, n i 
This old mistletoe, for all the good it's doing, might be 
parsley. 


TO A COSTLY KEPT LADY 


Although with gifts your sleigh is bri 
though gifts your sleigh is brim- 


ur 
chased 
newly, 
Remember, it's the tree you're trimmi 
evita the tree youre trimming, 


yours 
truly. 


+O A GIRL NAMED TESS 

(Because no other name. 
would rhyme) 

Goliath, he hls David had, 

J. Caesar had his Brutus, 

Jack Palance had his Alan Ladd, 

Abrother fouthad Hamlet'sdad: 

‘By Christmas T wilt feel quite sad 

1f 1 have not had you, Tess- 


PLAYBOY 


14 


classic affair (continued from page 11) 


Te was empty. τ 
‘You understand?” Hank sid. 
1 said "No," ond T never spoke a trier 
word. 


He was staring at the car now. Id 
tried to light a cigarette, but he'd 
knocked it out of my hand, explaining 
that there might be police around. We. 
stood quietly. 
“No woman?" 1 suid. 
He shook his head. "No woman.” He 
wasn't touching the car, or leaning 
gina it: just warin N was a huge 
thing, Darkblue or black, it looked 
something like a Rolls Royce, I thought, 
only sportier, There wa 
ος at the outside three. 1 
couldn't tell much che. A big conver 
tible, around twenty years old 
‘Let's go somewhere and talk." 1 said, 
almost in a. whisper 
Can't" he suid. "νε got to way 
s, Dave. Look.” He opened the door 
apin. "Look ar this leather. Smell it 
Its top grain, you can't get any better. 
Feel how soft it is, and rich. Go on." 
1 ran my hand over the seat. Te was 
ther, all right 
“Naw think of what one kid with a 
could do to wat" Hank 
mean, you know what kids are. 
lish the seats in theatres, in drug 
stores, you know that. 1 don't know 
why. But they do, and think of what 


would happen if one of them found out 
about this’, - -” His voice tured angry 
and hard. "And these fools won't lock 


itt” He glared in the direction of the 
shack, and swallowed. "I know, you're 
ing to tell me that I ought to bring 
to their attention. I almost did, be 


just told you, Í can't. If you want 
to talk, do it here 

T was going to argue, but 1 could tell 
from his tone that it wouldn't do any 
ood. “Okay.” 

“Not outside, though,” he said. "Here: 

1 got into the car; Hank settled him 
self Deside me and closed the door. 

“By the way, Í want you to notice th 
wheel," he said. "Leathercovered. Hon 
button, too, And take ahold of that 


emergency.” 
Te was all chiomed, longer than the 
gearshift; something ‘you'd expect to 


find aboard steamship, 

Hank was anii again, He pointed 
to Μπ lever on the dash — there were 
dotena of them. “This gadget your 
brake adjostmeni." he πιω, "See? 
You cun adjust the brakes or any read 
condition, no matter what. This here i 
the altimeter. "Tel. you how high up 
You are. And this lile thing —— 

H 


He Nopped talking. After abit N 
siae ted Siar ας. 
Dave,” he sid 


use. ICS something that’s hape 

‘an, ell you how, how's cayi 
fut not why.” 

"Thats good enough." 

He leaned hack and closed his eyes 
“Well — 1 was coming home from work. 
1 guess it must be almost three months 
ago. The bus went down Riverside, as 
δει, 1 wat oki ou, the win 
‘When we passed Springfield's, I glanced 
Ina the aid cared well ES 

“You saw this ear.” 

“That's right. The sun vas will fairly 
high, and it sore of glitered off the 
paint, and 1 remember thinking at the 
time, My God, you know, what a fne 
looking pice of machinery. Didwt 
think much about i of coune: But the 
funny thing i T kept seeing it. even 
after the bus had paned. At home 1 
still saw it, that quick flash of dark 
blue -.." He got lost in his remember- 
ing. But 1 wasn't about to interrupt. It 
wouldn't go away, Dave, The next day 
when the bus stopped and got 
Gut and walked back Y dod around 
the lot fora long time, looking in at the 
tar— T mean, I didn't even know what 
Kind it wast — and 1 felt something bap- 
pening. Vou used to say it happened 
io vou: kind of hurting, the way you 
Teel when you see a beautiful girl that 
You don't fly wam, but jou do, ioo 
With you it was paintings and plays snd 
things like that But, God. this was the 
first time for me. and 1 could under- 
stand what was wrong!" 

"Go on” 

"There isn't much more,” he said. "I 
came back the next day and asked the 
dealer what it was and he wld me, a 
Duesenberg. That night T decided to 
take another look: at the engine. He 
wouldn't let me sce it, you know, The 
Jot was closed. It was sitting alone, two 
big Mercedes Bera jobs on cither side- 
For the fist ime 1 examined it dose 
Í touched it, and saw how wonderful it 

Now he vas going. Talking more than 
Td ever heard him do, he told me how 
he'd worked up the nerve to αγ the 
door. How he'd sweated over ihe deci 

ος not to get in. How 
then gone to libraries and book 
stores and read everything he could et 
ahold of pertaining to the ca 

lt was am astonishing thing,” he 
said, “really and truly astonishing” His 
eyes were lit, and 1 think he was trem- 
bling; maybe not "The fac Dave, 

n. This automobile, the one you're 
ow, how fast would you αν it goes" 
fell” I said. "I don't know any. 
thing about cars 

“Take a gues Go on." 

“Seventy 

“Seventy?” He chuckled. “Dave, this 
automobile will wen an honest ooe 
thirty, One hundred and thirty miles 
per hour But thats not it ot course 
he said, hurriedly. "1 mean, a lot of eas 
will κο fast.” 

“Then what is i?" 

“Everything,” he said, helplessly. “The 


ay it look so goddamn regal and ef 
SER an ones ie wa 

por together. Thar Auge Duesenberg 
Jou know, Be didnt lon mund. È 


mean, this car in't onc of jour aacm- 
bly linc jobs like they have nowdays 
It just isn't, Dave. Like — well. you Fe- 
member that house wc looked at on 


“This isthe same, The 
Is a work of an, Dave ing 
yout Hi oie got a ile lower. "The 
Kuy Briggs Cunningham, he goes around 
Saying he wants to be the first American 
ar to win at Le Mam he's nuts. An 
American car won Le Mam. Which 
American ca The Duesenberg, Ves 

listen, the tolerances on the engine 
ave still just as fine as any of your 


pean makes, Hell, they didn't have any- 
thing ehe but Duesie powerplants at 
Indianapolis! Not for years! God, Dave, 
you know what they did? They had this 

an artist 


que man. à mecha, He w 
Responsible for the whole cn 
Bint They fh the car and ake 
out on a track and run it at top speed 
for twenty-four hours or somethin 
Then they'd take it back in and thi 
mechanic, he'd take it apart and sce if 
anything was worn. If it wasn't abso- 
Juiely perfect, he'd start all over again. 
Í mean, that’s something that’s gone, it's 
gone forever, I'm telling you, And — f 
Suppose 1 sound like an advertisement?" 

TA Tate" 

"Well, never mind. It's all true" He 
‘opened ihe door. "Look here: three 
hinges. Or there, the running board, Get 
oue for a minute. 

He had me bang my fist on the fen 
der. IC was hard and solid. Then he 
started showing me other th 
taillights, the gigantic wheels 

al tires ‘the rumblescat There 
was't anything for me to do but follow. 
im around and wait it out. 

Shall we take a peek at the 

We took a peek, 

“Four hundred hones, Dave. A ‘29, 
remember.” 

He must have talked for hours, show- 
ing me every square inch of the car, 
iving me a complete history, 1 could 
see that it was for real. however fan 
tastic it might seem. Old gray Hank had 
flipped his wig over an auto, and since 
people like Hank usually live out their 
‘whole lives without Mipping their wigs 
over anything, he was taking it han 

"b may be insane,” he sid, 
theres nothing to be done about it. T 
telling you, when I'in away from the 
var, Pm — bell. 1 keep thinking of 
what might happen to it, just sitting 
here, unlocked at night. I keep dreading 


ve 


the day when somebody buys it. Some 
ape some tat cigarsmoking ape without 
ie sense to know what he's got 


Here it is, the finest automobile ever 
built, the absolute best of them all. St- 
fing here” His fists were clenched 
tightly. "I want you to know this, i 

(Continued on page 46) 


the name on the skull was marie 


THE NEXT IN LINE 


fiction ΒΥ RAY BRADBURY 


PLAYBOY 


"What do you mean, where's your present? 
You're unwrapping it now." 


a best man from broadway bares all 


article BY EARL WILSON 


UNCOVERING A NUDIST WEDDING 


dist wedding was 
vec h Sect, but to have 
people begging you to bc best man at 
Some naked nuptials was a greer dis 
tinction than 1 could Bear = oF is it 
bare? 
immediately thought οἱ the vintage 
joke about a nudit bride who was asked 
y ihe minier, "Do you take this man 
τ be your Κο 
— and Enahusitically replied, "No, Eve 
ed to take that one over there: 
ation to be best 
man — weere ie was quie. 
mode of me — but aki Τὰ be happy 
to attend and ee just what was golng 
On, or ofl, a» the cme might be. After 
ail, a New York columnist is supposed 
je eventing und this semed the 
percer opportunity. 

My wit BW. — the initials stand 
for Beautiful Wie, Barefoot Wite and, 
3t imes, just Bourbon and Water — 
ist ehe problem wen she ac 

jut Í haven't thing to wear!” 
“Thats exactly the way youre wp. 

to yo aud anyway, who invited 
Tou Lake. TY 

In her ladylike way, she delicately 
mentioned “hat ihe invitation read 
"arl Wilson and Trend" —and if she 


You can see why 1 thought it wise to 
beseech her το come along. In fac, 1 
begged her. 

Tal been around the Skinorama Set 
belare, having pecked in at some nudist 
conventions `, but to go to a wedding 
Where the happy couple got out of th 
Clothes before the ceremony » . - well. 
Sir, 1 got all goose pimiply- 

And so did the bride, a fine tile 
srayhaired. lady named Louie West, 
tho admitted to the age of 48, 

She shivered, and shook, and her teeth 
did matatatag, as she’ waited vo say 
^I do” αἱ that’ wedding up in the 
Rockies ouside Denver that chilly eve 
ning. She kept her litle cotton house 
sa on tne tibi go ea ts 
gin his Question and Answer game. 
Not because she was nervous; because 
it was cold in them thar mountains at 


so, uy running 
without your 


around the mountai 
clothes on some night around 7 o'clock 
and you'll see. (If you've already tried 
it, how about telling me what hap- 
pened?) 


1 suppose you think T was buddy 
buddy with dhe bridegroom. 

‘We Bad never met belore and when 
£ id wes he wan sed, and ving 
ὮΝ prewedding supper. He was boune- 
ing around the kitchen of the Colorado 
Sunshine Club holding a plate of lum 
and cabbage in one hand and a cup of 
coffe in the other. He was as brown 33 
berry from mem to stern, When he 
iopet hp o my wife who was clothed 
Dind aked her i he couldnt fetch her 
d to shift her 


You're a woman, 

‘Col. Herbert A. Lindie, U. 
Retired — that was the  bridegroo 
name — was a boy of around 70 

80? He was with “Black Jack” Persh- 
ing em the Mexican Border im 1916. 
This was not a ca inging 
himself into some 

"Where did we meet?” he said, echo: 
ing my question. 

Ewell! and he chuckled, "you see, 
she has a trailer camp neat San Antonio. 

"One day when 1 was roarnin' around, 
1 parked my trailer there, and 

here's a. joke which 1 believe was 
concocted by Martin Burden of my stall, 


17 


PLAYEOY 


18 


with their ines ον” ^ 
But that wasn’t true here. They'd met 
in a trailer carsp, which is not the same 


as a nudist camp . - . not usually, any- 
way , + , and during their courtship, the 
Colonel had remarked casually το the 
lady that he owned property, 

"I didn't tell her my property was a 
nudist camp," he onfesed to me - .- 
mot yet” 

When he got to know her better, he 

admitted the bare facts— that darned 
word "ure" keeps coming in here and 
there's nothing T can do about it—he 
sked her if the wished to become a 
nudist. 

“she thought it over 15 minutes and 
mid yea" he recalled with some pride. 

I don't mean in this article to over- 
Joo Evelyn Went the stripteaser known 
38 "The "Treasure Chest (because she 
had her bosom insured with Lloyd's of 
London for $5000). and T don't advise 
you to overlook her, either. 

Evelyn was the bridesmak 

She Wat there because she's been a 
nudist for some years, both on and oif 
the burlesque sage. She's not related to 
Louise West, the bride, 

"We're jus sisters under the skin,” is 
the way Evelyn puts it. 

My wife and I didn't see Evelyn until 
we arrived at the camp. We rede out 
with a couple of nudists who com- 
mened on the beatiful mountain 
meneny, 

"owl be seeing some nice curves up 
shead the drivet remarked, refering 
1 think, to the countryside. 

T hope well be secing some nice ones 
at the wedding, too," tackled a com 
panion, referring, Fm sure, t Evelyn 

Several nudists had already dined 
when we got there. Three or four gen- 
Ueman mdisa tat outside, relating. 
dad only in their alterdinner cigars 

We climbed the stairs to meet Evelyn 

Τὰ never met “The Treasure Chest 
but she's the kind of girl you recognize, 
anywhere. She was barechested s» c 
that's what I noticed fit... and she 
had on potka dot Bikini pants, that's 
Nhat T noticod second, She vat also ex 
kaged in potting on her principal cos 
{ie for the wedding = false eyelashes 
1 never did notice that. My wife told me 
later. Women notice detalis like that. 

Why the punu?” 1 asked her, wait- 
ing, of course, until we'd introduced 
aielves to ench other, 

^ could ask you the same thing be 
retorted, 

1 forgot to mention that I had de- 
cided to wear something. Years back 
η 

NJ. Td been requi 
alarmed as to what my 
about me romping 
Around naked before all that crowd om 
that occasion, and fearfully asked her 
permission to attend in the raw. 

And was she jealous of my physique 
being seen by other emat "Then 
God this is one trip you'te going on. 1 
won't have to pack a bag for you!” she 


sid. 
‘But here in Colorado, the members of 
the press could be nude or not. I selec- 
ted for my wedding costume a high silk 
hat and some striped swimming britches, 
Maybe i'a because Pim older and more 
sedate that I wore something, Maybe it's 
because Í have a rash, 

T tried now to explain this to Evelyn 
and she tried to explain why she wore 
Bikini pants Towing her Treasure 
Chest modestly about, she sid she'd 
worn the pants just to greet me... she 
thought she ought to have a litte some- 
thing on. 

"Oh. ers do away with these formal- 
ities” 1 said. 

‘And so Evelyn took ‘em off, and went. 
downstairs as naked as a jaybird. She 
did have on high-heeled shoes, a little 
bbridesmaid’s hat, her false eyelashes, and 
a dab of. power Bere and there, She 


"Check your fig leaves upstairs” 

"The minkacr now arrived. Think of 
that... a nude minister! 

"Whats his name?" 1 whispered to 
Evelyn. 

“Homer,” she said 

“Homer Who?" 

"Nudists only wear their first nares," 
she shrugged, 3 

"We dort think iets ped de to 
wp. We ink it's a good idea to 
give out his whole name because he 
might be criticized for this in the pres." 

cle added, “Anyway, Ho- 
mers only a lay minister.” 

The Rev. Homer Blank’s disrubes of 
office consisted of his spectacles and his 
shoes. He was fifty. When we finished 
our supper and walked out to our cars, 
to mount the stony path to the wedding. 
site, still higher in the Rockies, one of 
the nudist bosses told us: 

"You can take nearly any pictures you 
wish — except, please, no front views of 
Homer: 

We had seven ος eight photographers 
in our crowd. They listened attentively 
to the instructions about no front views 
οἱ Homer—and ignored them. Not be- 
‘cause they wanted any front views of 
Homer, but because if Homer's front 
view happened to he in the way of a 
picture they wanted, what could they 
dor 

1 soon found out that the nudist wed- 
ding was being run. more or less, by an. 
enterprising radio commentator, Grady 
Franklin Maples of KGMC at nearby 
Englewood. 

"We have a very 


Ay sation — if 


there isn't any nudes to report, we make 
nudes” he told his audience. 
Before the wedding actually got 


saad, iz seemed τα hia hot i oid 
Πο d 
spy Birthday cn he si Nod νο 
tappy voices boomed out though the 
Shy novia ai. 

“Whose binhdoy 
ma 

T shrugged. But Bill Peery of the 
Rocky Mountain. News olscied, "i 
must be evebodyx Everybodys i his 
day Suid 


my BW. in- 


Finally, when all the nudius ad been 
thorpughiy interviewed for the radio, 
OE CDS CEEE ANE NA rend 
igo ta the mike val part — the wed 
ding: He took his microphone xip to the 
ο "μευ. 
Eo ahead — he was ready now. 
"The Rev. Homer Whoonis cleared his 
throat 
He bad on something now. He had 
por an a eee Homer’ Lone vlow war 
Jar cere twn to cnr ap i 
font view that he'd Put on w jacket, 
however. He was just cold. 
“everbody Wendy he hed, 
“Where's the bridesmaid?” somebody 
remembered 
Evelyn West wat in plain aight —a 
very τίς sight, Yoo. She was sanding 
ver npn tree Coleg some Eve por 
ἧς photographers Mist West vat 
raking x πάς icu) and ging 
ber id precios of Eve fe ὡς Oboe 
Mis Wen knows how 16 do this Per 
fect at she hs oed ἐν Ton Kel, 
= Hollywood photographer who gave 
the world the Marilyn Monroe cland. 
"Oh, Evelyn, let's get with it,” some- 
body Called ber 
Statching up her corsage, Evelyn 
ond evel. bounty oun 
ounces. The ridesobe whipped off 
Mer hoec, renting that We mor 
ment had come The Dridegroonriote 
had been naked throughout the warm- 
up fextvier and he only had io take 
the dy by the atm. 
ewes about ti ime that 1 Bec 
x singe ερ. perhaps 1 should tj. 
πα. 
into our lille cova of 70ος 80 came 
» famous man, dhe big New York καὶ 
nate man and Dudes Willa Zecken 
owt 
Naked? Far fom id 
Big Bill was in a western outfit with 
a phony sherifrs badge. He comes fom 
Curs, ud Tad jun rived rae a 
Frontier Days clcuriion at Cheyenne 
Ailend had induced. him t0 come 
along as a guest to the nudist nuptials. 
But since | wanlly see Mr, Zechendort 
in a dinner jacket at some New. York 
banquer, 1 dirt reengnze him at iat 
He gure around at this naked crowd 
and wok his hend in wonderment 
Tim. like the lide boy who iw a 
giraffe,” he said, “The boy said, ^I sec 
μυς ην ο 
"The Rev. Homer vai now peg 
through hi specs at the marriage rimak. 


where the bridegroom was supposed! to 
‘endow the bride with a ring. 

The Rev. Homer looked at the bride- 
groom 

No ring! 

Had he forgouen it... or misplaced 
iO Some bridegrooms might in their 
nervousness forget which pocket they 
put the ring in but this ‘bridegroom 

(concluded on page 61) 


‘An embarrassed father is a poor companion 


THE FIRST SAP OF MANHOOD AND HOW IT RISES 


the second of a series of articles on how to succeed with women without really trying 


ow CAN 1 TELL ways 1 AN A MAN 
win, worn, o many ask, dors the 
Μας begin to surge 
Through my body? What om do to pre 
pare yell for lo 

Tini you wil go through a Period 
which may arem long, but which wil 
tually la no more ian ten ot twelve 
years During this time you will think 
fav are ii. Your body wil develop 
very way and you wil become por 
ο ας Ἡ 
pen 

Put thee Kes entirely out of your 
head, Think πο more about them and 
You will come through this period hap- 
Pil ind without further worry. 

now it you will be 


sis, through with 
School, have a good job, and be able 
to maim 


Now — not before — you can say, "T 


WOKTIL WATTING FOR 

You will be able to look about you 
amd discover all kinds of wondrous 
sights which we will assume you have 


satire BY SHEPHERD MEAD 


avoided noticing belore. 

You will find to your delight that you 
are surrounded by thousands and thou- 
sands of lovely girls, dresed to be their 
most appealing and exciting. And wher- 
ever you look, on billboards, in maga- 
zines, in the movies, on television — ev- 
erywhere— you will find even more 
beautiful girls, often wearing costumes 
that leave little to the imaginati 


You will wonder how you missed 
them the past ten or twelve years 
We should perhaps pause here for a 


momentary tribute to our young men 
and o their truly superhuman power 
Of the will. They have helped o pre 
serve the clean, bracing customs of our 
society without complaint, and without 
resentment. And even today they are 
‘on, eyes resolutely forward, look- 
* neither to the right nor to the left, 
their minds diverted, their hearts pure 
Never in all the march οἳ civilization 
have so many had to wait for so long. 
But you will say, as others have before 
you, that it was surely worth it. 
However, lor those few to whom the 
ten or twelve year wait may be a bur 


ILLUSTRATED BY CLAUDE 


den, we have scraped together a few 
words of advice. 
YOUR PARENTS AND SEX 

Early this period during which the 
sop i rising, you may notice that your 
father is acting strangely. He will often 
appear to be approaching a subject, only 
to Veer away in confusion. 

Tic will be trying to bring up the sub- 
ject of se 

You will ind that fathers, and ocen- 
sionally mothers too, show needless em- 
barrastment over this topic, Put them at 
their eave. An embarrased father is a 
poor companion 
Once you identify the frst gropings 
seize the initiative, Be casual and matter 
of fact. 

By the yay, Dad, thought you 
might be interested in this bit from 


πάς 
Ohr" (He may look surprised, 
but go on) 
"TII help you with the Latin if 
you ike” 


Any good text book on the subject 
(continued on page 58) 


19 


PLAYBOY 


NEXT IN LINE 


was running and Marie's voice came o 
“What're you doing?" 
He muttered. “a She 
asked again. He click 


lcture. 


the town square. men 
shout last night? T didn't slcep until two. 
thirty. We would have to arrive when 
the local Rotarys having its whing- 
ding" 

"What're our plans for today 
asked. 

"We're going to see the mummies” he 


she 


Oh; she said There was a long 
silence 

He curie im. set the camera down, 
and Tit himself a cigarette. 

Π go up and see them alone 

1 youd rather.” 
ο” she siid, not very loud. "Tl 
along. But 1 wish we could forget 
whole thing. Ies such a lovely 1 
town” 

"Look here!" he cried, catching a 
‘movement frem the comer of his eje. 
He hurried to the balcony, stood there, 


le 


Ὃν drying m) 
"Pic Miye he aia crated 
looking down into the street. 

He heard the moverent behind him, 
and then the odor of soap and water 
Tinsed flesh, wettowel, fresh cologne; 
Marie was at his elbow. "Say right 

she cautioned hi Ten 
Took without exposing myself. Tra stark 
What is it" 

“Look!” he cried. 

A procesion traveled along the street. 
One man led it, with a package on his 
‘ad. Behind tim cane women im Hack 
Teboros, chewing away the peels of or- 
anges aud spitting them on the cobbles 
lide children at their elbows men 
ahead of them. Some ate sugar canes, 
gnawing away at the outer bark until it 
split down and they pulled it off in 
ear hunk to pet at the succulent pulp, 
the juicy sinews on which to so In 

were fifty people. 
^ said Marie behind him, hold. 
arm. 
Jt was no ordinary package thé first 
man in the procession carried om his 
head, balaneed delicately ax à chicken- 
plume, It was covered with silver satin 
and silver fringe and silver rosctts And 
gently with one brown hand, 
singing free. 
funeral and tbe title 
package was a cofin. 

He watched his wife from one side of 
his face. 

She was the color of fine, frei milk- 
The pink color of the bath was gone 
Her heart had sucked i ll deva to 
tome hidden vacuum in her, She held 
fast to the Frerch doorway and watched 
the traveling people go, watched them 
cat fruit, heard ther talk gently, laugh 
Kendy. She forgot she was naked. 

He wid, “Some lile girl or boy gone 
to a happier piace.” 


(continued from poge 15) 


“Where are they taking — her?” 

She did mot think it unustl, her 
choice of the feminine pronoun. Already 
she had identified herself with that tiny 
fragment of decay parceled like an ute 
ripe variety of fruit. Now, in this mo. 
ment, she was being carried up the hill 
within compressing dark, a stone in a 
peach, silent and terrified, the touch of 
the futher against the colin material 
‘outside; gentle and noiseless and firm 
inside. 

"To the graveyant, naturally; that's 
where they're taking her,” he said, the 
cigarette making a casual filter of smoke 
Ext ae 

"Not the graveyard?” she asked, 
ing at him earnestly 

“There's only one cemetery in these 
towns, you Know that. They usually 
hurry i That liue girl has probably 
been d m 


way. quite ridiculous, 
quite naked, with only the towel sup- 
ported by her limp, untreing hands, She 
walked toward tte bed, 


embalming. They have to finish it 

quickly.” 
“But to that graveyard, that horrible 
she said. with a voice from a 


“Oh, the mommies” he said. “Don't 
let that bother you" 

She sat on the bed, again and again 
sling the tewel id aces her lap 
Her eyes were blind as the brown 
of her breasts She did nor we hin or 
the oon. She knew that if he snapped 
his fingers or coughed, she woulda 
even look up. 

“They were eating fruit at her fune- 
ral, and laughin ‘said, 

a long climb to the cemetery.” 
She shuddered. A convulsive moving, 
like a fish trying to free itself from a 
dep swallowed hook. She lay back and. 
he looked at her as one examines a poor 
sculpture; all criticism, all quiet and. 
uncaring. She wondered idly 
just how much his hands had had to də 
With the broadening and flattening and 
changement of ber body. Certainly this 
was not the body he'd started with. It 
Was past saving now. Like day which 
the sculptor has carelessly impregnated 
with water, it was impossible to shape 
again. In order to shape clay you warm 
it with your hands, evaporate the mois- 
ture with heat. But there was no more 
pasion, no more friction of the enjoy- 
Abie sort between them. There. was ro 
‘warmth to bake away the aging moisture 
that collected and made pendant now 
fer reas and Poly. When the heat is 
gone, it is marvelous and unsetcing to 
see how quickly a vesel stores sell. 
ing water in its fatty cell. 

"I don't feel well,” she said. She lay 
there, thinking it over. "I don't feel 
well,” she sid again, when he made no 
response. After another minute or two 


he tified heneit. “Lets not say here 
another night, Joe.” 

“But its a wonderful town.” 

Yes, but we've seen everything.” She 
got up. She knew what exe ment Gay: 
ο ο Cpu 
ment, everything quite false and hope: 
Tu ος could’ goon’ ιο Puvcusto, 
Make it în no time. You won't have to 


ck, PH do it all myself, darling! We 
tan get a room at the Don Posada there, 
They say its a beautiful little town —— 


“Thin” he remarked, "is a hx 
little town. 

"Bougainvillea climb all over the 
buildings —" she said 

“These —" he pointed out some flow- 
ersat the window “—are bougainvillea” 

“mand we'd fish, you like fuhing," she. 
‘sid in bright haste. "And Td fi 
Td learn, yes 1 would, Ive alwaye 
wanted Vo learnt And they say the Τὰ 
rasan Indians there are almost Mon- 
in feature, and don't speak much 

and from there we could go to 
; ats ntar Umaga, and 
we some of the finest lacu 
tones ter dh ci be tun, μα T 
pack. You just take it easy, and —" 

"Marie. 

He stopped her with one word as she 
ran to the bath door 

edes 

I thought you didn't feel well?” 

“I didn’t. | don't. But, thinking of all 
these swell places —" 

“We haven't seen one tenth of this 
town,” he expliined logically. “There's 
ilit suatue οἳ Morelos on the hil 1 
want a shot of that, and some of that 
French architecture up the street . 
We've traveled three hundred miles an 
we've been here one day and now you 
want co nah off somewhere che, [ve 
already the rent for another 
night. | 

Aou an ge it back” de a 

“Why do you want to run away?" he. 
mid, looking at her with an attentive 

‘Don't you like the town?" 
^l simply adore it" she said, her 
cheeks white, smiling. "Is vo green and 


he said. "Another day. 
You'll love it. "hats settled.” 
ak. 


She closed the bathroom door. Beh 
it she rattled open a medicine box. W; 
ter rushed into a tumbler. She was tak. 
ing some stul for her stomach. He 


dropped bis cigarette owt the window. 
fe came to the bathroom door 
"Marie, the mummies don't bother 
jou, do they?" 
P'Unhunli she sid 
“Was it the funeral, th 


nh." 

“Because, if you were really afraid, 
Τὰ pack in a moment, you know that 
darling. 


‘The graveyard was enclosed by a thick 
(continued overleaf) 


GOURMET GIFTS FOR CHRISTMAS 


BY THOMAS MARIO playboy food & drink editor 


you'll have her eating out of your hand 


young men [aye interpreted this fier 
Xy ae Christmas time; to the conster 
"lion of female giferecpients 

Their consternation can be readily 
understood, it we will — or a brief mo- 
ent = ook at their side of i. Remem. 
ber, iis git is available to hem all 
Year round. When the Yuletide season 
Years its snowy head, they expect this = 
tnd more. The more is usually prefered 
im the shape of a diamond necklace, 


but there are a few other ite 
be greeted with warm, purring so 
Since this is the food department, we 
will confine ourselves to such Christmas 
gilts as may be munched, crunched, or 
otherwise consumed. 

The only part of thyself that need go 
into a gift is some thoughtfulness. And 
this very thoughtfulness, the small inti 
mation to a girl that someone cares for 
her likes and dislikes, will move immov- 
able objects, A heart of rock can be 
melted with a modest jar of, let us say, 


Melba Sauce 
You must keep in mind that what is 
fine ood one i may be foul to a 
δίδει the Lus, or mince, hails fom 
Georgia she may be bored beyond em 
diste by the ight of the old pecan 
er back yard planted before the 

Cist War. But i the mademoiselle was 
rough up in a small vila near the 
Tamar οἱ Quebec she will be com 
Slc shrine by the gitt box of sug- 
ST and spiced pecans tailed from the 
(Continued on page #8) 


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NEXT IN LINE 


adobe wall and at its four corners small 
Sone angels thed out on stony wings 
The grimy. Beads capped wih biel 
a ther hana κ ατα ο 
lers ot the same subscance, their faces 
unquestionably freckled. 

In the warm smooth How of sunlight 
which was Tike a depthley dele ter 
Joseph and Marie climbed up the hil 
thelr shadows" slanting bh behind 
them. Helping one another, they made 
the cemetery pricy swung bach the Spam 
ish blue iron grille and. entered 

Te was severa] mornings alter the cele 

tory festa of Fl Dia de Muerte the 
Day ol the Da adn a αν 
elt of tse and sparkletape wil «lung 
Tike imane har tà the raised stones 16 
the hand carved, love polished erucies 
amd To the aboveground toni which 
rerenbled ‘marble level rawa “These 
were maues [rsen in angeli λεω, 

mounda and intricately 

ved tones tall αἱ men. with angh 
Spilling all down their rims and tombs 
ἂν big and ridiculou as beds put out ta 
day i the sun alter ome nocturnal ac 
And within the four walls of the 
Jard, cried juo square: mouthe and. 
Στη 
by "marble plates and plaster. upon 
which rame were suck and upon 
Which hung um. pictures. cheap peso 
portraits of ue inserted dead. hunts 
akad to che diferent. pictures were 
trinkete theyd loved i life. silver 
harms, silver arme legs bodies, silver 
pe Siver dae cee Orch pedi 
jons, bits of re crepe and blue ribbon: 
On some places were painted slats of tin 
Showing the dead rising to heaven m oil 
tinted Stele arm 

“They stood, Marie and Joseph, in the 
warm alent Yani, song ioe aes, be 
{heen the walis Far over in one corner 

le mar with high cheek on 

ΩΝ color of the Sp ation, 
thik glues a ck eoat ey a 
And grey. unpreued pams and mealy 
faced ates, moved bow among the 
ones, rupervbing, something or oder 
that another man in overalls was doing 
to'n grave with a shovel. The Hide man 
with scs carried a thricefoed news 
per unde Nis eit arm and had his 
fates in hi pockets 


Si, the mummies” said the man, 
“hey exist and are here. n the ca 
'Por favor,” suid Joseph. "Yo quiero 
veo lus mommias, sil 

i, senor.” 
‘Mi Espanol es mucho estupido, es 
amy malo,” apologized Joseph. 

"No, no, senor, You speak welll This 
way, please. 

He led between the flowered stones to 
Ë tomb near the wall shadows Te wasa 
large flat tomb, Rush with the gravel. 
with a thin kindling door fat ox it 


(continued from page 20) 


palloded. lt was unlocked and the 
wooden door fung back rattling to one 
side. Revealed was a round bole the cir 
led interior of which contained steps 
‘which screwed into the earth 

Before Joseph could move. his wile 
had set her foot on the firt sep. 
“Here.” he said. "Me fist." 

"No. That's all right.” she sid, and 
went down and around in a darkening 
spiral until the earth vanished her. She 
moved carefully, forthe steps were hard 
ly enough to contain a child's feet. h: 
ot dark and she heard the caretaker 
Sepping after ber, at ber ears, and then 
it got light again. They stepped out into 
a long whitewashed hall twenty feet un. 
der the earth, into which light was al- 
lowed by geometric interstices of cl 
gious design. The hall was ΒΩ yards 
Tong. ending on the left in a double 
deor in which were set tall crystal 
panes and a sign forbidding entrance. 
On the right end of the hall was a lange 
stack of white rods and round white 
stones 

"Oh, skulls and log bones" said Ma 

interested. 
he soldiers who fought for Father 
More sid the etter. ον 

‘They walked to the vast pile. They 
were neatly pat in place, bone on bone, 
like Brewood, and én top wes 4 mound 
ofa thousand dry skulls 

“I don't mind skulls and bones,” said 
Marie. “Theyre not human at all 
Theyre like something  insectivorous, 
ος Rennes one 
Ti z child vas raised and didn't know be 
had a skeleton in him. he wouldn't 
think anything of bones, would he? 
‘That's how it is with me. Everything hu 
man has been scraped off these, There 
nothing familiar left to be horrible. In. 
order for a thing to be horrible it has 
to sulfer a change you can recognize. 
This isn't changed. Theyre still sele 
tons, like they always were, The part 
that changed is gone, amd so there's 
nothing 10 show for it Isn't that inter 
esting 

He nodded. 

She was quite brave now. 

"Well." she said, “let's sce the num. 
mies” 

“Here, senora,” said the caretaker, 

He took them far down the hall away 
from the, nack e bones and wher Te 

Bim a peso be un a 
prem 
them wide and they looked into an even 
longer, dimly lighted hall in which stood 
the people. 


“They waited inside the door in ato 
tive wider she irole college 
five of them against one wall, on the 
lett, ly ve of them against the right 


wall, and five of thera way down at the 
very end. 
“Mister Interlorater!” said Joseph, 
briskly. 


INS) rpemblel nothing more ihan 
preliminary erections of a seulp- 
tor, the wire frame, the first tendors of 
‘day, the muscles, and a thin lacquer of 


skin, They were unfinished, all one hun- 
st and een of ην 

"They were parchment colored and the 
sin var stretched αν if το dry, fion 
bone to bone. The baie wet int 
oniy the watery humors had evapora 
Gorm them. p 

"The late suq de creer." 
preserves them. Very dry.” 

Stow long Me they been her 
asked Josep 

“Sole ome year some ἔνε, senor, 
some ten, some weven 

There was an embarrassment of hor. 
ror. You staned with the fst man on 
your right, hooked and wired upright 
inst the wall, and he was not pid 
16 look upon. and you went on t the 
Moran next ο hin who was wnlieliey- 
Che and then to ᾱ man who was hor 
Yendom and then (o à woman who was 
Nery worry she was dead and in udi a 
pie an abi 

"What are they doing here?" said 


“They are but standing around, se 
“Yes, but why?" 
“Their relatives did not pay the rent 


upon the graves” 

“Is there 3 rent" 

“Si, senor. Twenty pesos a year. Or, 
it they desire the permanent interment 
fone hundred severity pesos. But our peo- 

le, they are very poor, as you must 
now. and one hundred seventy pesos is 
at much a many ol them make in we 
cars So they carry their dead here an 
Place theo iuo the earth for one year 
And the twenty pesos ave paid, with finc 
intentions of paying cach year and each 
year, but each year and each year after 
the first year they have a burro to buy 
or a new mouth to feed, or maybe three 
new mouths, and the dead, after all, are 
ot hungry, and the dead, after all, can 
pull no plows: or there is a new wife oF 
there is a roof in need of mending, and 
the dead, remember. can be in no beds 
with a man, and the dead, you under 
stand, can keep no rain off one, and so 

is that the dead arc not paid up upon. 
their rent.” 

Then what happens? Are you listen 
ing, Marie?" sid Joseph 

Marie counted the bodies. One, two, 
three, ix, seven, eight. 
“What?” she suid, quietly. 

Are you listening?” 

ο so. What? Oh, yest lr listen- 
ing" 

Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thir- 
teen 

“Well, then,” said the litle man. "I 
all a trabajando and with his delicate 
shovel at the end of the fist year he 
does dig and dig and dig down, How 
deep do you think we dig, senen?" 

“Six feet. That the usual depth.” 

"Ah, no, ah. no. There, senor, you 
‘would be wrong, Knowing that after the 
fry year the rent is liable not to be 

id, we bury u st two feet down, 
νον 
coune, we must judge Dy the famih 
siia evn a body. Som of dem we bur] 
sometimes three, sometimes four eet 

(continued on page 27) 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


Upon applying for admission to one of 
Sa Dae country dubs in New 
Jane the rather sciet, umimpre. 
ie ekg Sono. tan τω noted 
hat he mus May € round ol gol with 
the club lite 2e a prerequisite to his 
Menos 
On the appointed afternoon, he met 
wem one Rn ice equipped vi x 
Hockey uk, croquet mallet nd £ 


billiard cue. The officers looked him 
over incredulously, but nevertheless pro- 
ceeded to tec off. To their dismay, the 
man coolly drove 510 yards with 

jockey stick, gracefully arched his 
with the ao 

20 foot putt 


Sith the billiard cu 
‘Alter soundly drubbing the balled 
officers with ἡ sub-par 68, the applicant. 
retired with them to the club bat. There 
he ordered a Scotch and soda, and when 
it arrived, he Y isl 
by tossing the contents of the shot glass 
over his shoulder into the waiting soda 
behind him on the bar. This further 
display of the young man's incredible 
ical coordination was too much for 
ολοι of the club. 
“You're miraculous” they excl 
id these f 


ed. 


“AN my life." the man explained, 
sical activity of amy sort has been 
child's play fer me. To overcome the 


Ege ση 
Ee anata 
mor i 

tdem p 
E s 
ο 
το. 

"know. oid the talented young 
aed e dies 
Sloe See 


“IC Fm not in bed by ten o'clock,” said 
one female barfly ro the other, “Tm 
going home.” 


yA 


One evening at dinner the small boy 
Biol bow TE had been brought Imo 
the world, His father» rather ursight- 
Med eenia bled toni the 
qucd with reference 1o the work 


Unsatisfied, the youngster asked where 
the father had come from. 

“The stork brought me, too, so 
the father replied. 

"The boy sat quietly for a few mo- 
ments. τ. "What about Grand- 
Father?” he asked. 

Yes, the stork brought your Grand- 
father, too," father snapped, about to 
lo patience with his son for posing 
questions that were obviously none ol 
3 stall boy's business, 

“Gee, dad,” the child exclaimed, “do 


you mean this family has gone through 
three generations without any sexual 
ercourse?” 


"Men seldom make passes 
rls who wear planes 

S Dorothy Parker hay si. 

She vid ie quite rightly, 


‘They're very unsightly, 
But no one wears glasses to bed. 

The svelte young secretary was disati 
fied with her job and so walked into her. 


rning and announced 
jew position. 
exclaimed. "We 


Have you heard any good ones latelyt 
Earn an easy five dollars by sending the 
best to: Posty Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
IL E. Superior St, Chicago 11, Illinois. 
In case of duplicate submissions, poy- 
ment will go to first received. No jokes 
vum be returned. 


expurgated 
nursery rhymes 
for adults 


E ENJOY BROWSING in second- 
hand bookstores on off hours 
and we discovered a little vol- 


ume the other afternoon that 


the way these innocent 
munery could be char 
eliminating words and phras 

Back at our desk, we tried 
š few verses of our own, an 


one of d 
e been changed = words have 
been deleted. We suggest that 
ing aloud, you pomme the 

The booklet was published in 1926, 
bat fs mesage makes ar mich sere 
mow as then. Ht closed with 2 posticript 
‘Observing that these rhymes have given 
pleasure’ to generation amd that ths 
ersion makes a new claim as amusing 
omnee. Bur even more importat 
m jme or nomene i he clar 
demonstration οἱ the effect cf censor. 
Ship upon anything it touches. 


may enjoy the results 
rhymes 


JACK AND JILL 

Jack and Jill went up the hill 
Tol 

Jack fell down and broke 
And Jill came tumbling after. 


During Jack's convalesence, Jill may be 
reached at Hillside 4-2673. 


OLD KING COLE 
Old King Cole was a merry old soul, 
And a merry old soul was 
Ss ST 
And he ΒΝ his fiddlers three. 

The decadence of monarchy clearly illus- 
trated, 


GEORGIE PORGIE 
Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, 
BINE the girls and made them cry. 
When the boys came out to NM, 
Georgie Porgie ran away. 

He who WI od runs away 

Lives toU cr day 


THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL 
‘There was a little girl who had a 
little curl 
Right in the middle of her mmm; 
‘And when she was good she wat 
very, very good, 
But when she was bad she was 
horrid. 
We prefer date we can count en. 


THREE LITTLE KITTENS 
Three little kittens, they lost their 


=a 
And they began to cry, 
“Ob, Mother, dear, we greatly fear, 
‘That we have lost our ΕΕ 
"What, lost your SM, you 
naughty kittens! 
‘Then you shall have no pie.” 
‘Meow, meow, meow, meow, 
Then you shall have no pie. 


Big deal, no pie! 


WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL 
When I was a little girl, 
1 
Now that I'm a big girl, 
1 roll in golden riches. 

Virtue may be its atom reward, but sin 
Joys better. 


LITTLE MISS MUFFET 
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, 
Eating her curds and whey: 
‘Along came a spider, who bc- 
side her, 
And frightened Miss Muffet m 
Nasty orochnid! 


SEE-SAW, MARGERY DAW 
See-saw, Margery Daw, 

Jenny shall have a new master; 
She shall have but a penny a day, 
Because she can ΤΉ 


Speed isn't everything. 


MOTHER GOOSE 


SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE 

Sing a song of sixpence, 

A pocket full of rye; 

Four and twenty blackbirds 

Baked in a pie; 

When the pie was opened, 

‘The birds began to MM: 

‘Wasn't that a dainty di 

To set before the king? 
Uf that was the desert, tell us about the 

main course. 


SOLOMON GRUNDY 


Solomon Grundy, 
ΠΝ on Monday, 


Of Solomon Grundy. 
A short life, but a merry one. 


GOOSEY, GOOSEY GANDER 

Goosey, goosey, gander, where do 
T wander? 

Upstairs and downstairs, in my 
lady's chamber. 

There I met an old man who would 


_————— 
I took him by his mand 
threw him down the stairs. 


Rough treatment, but certainly deserved. 


(concluded on next page) 


MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB 
Mary had a little lamb, 
Its fleece was white as snow; 
And everywhere that Mary went, 
The lamb was sure {ο 

Pets should be better trained before taking 
them into public. 


BOBBY SHAFTOE'S GONE TO SEA 
Bobby Shaftoe's gone to sea, 
Silver buckles on his knee; 
He'll come back and BEEE me, 
Pretty Bobby Shaftoel 

Prey is as prety does, 


LITTLE BO-PEEP 

Little Bo-Peep has ΒΦ her sheep, 

And can't tell where to find them; 

Leave them alone, and they'll come home, 

Wagging their tails behind them, 
Foniliority breeds contempt. 


PETER, PETER PUMPKIN-EATER 


Peter, Peter, pumpkin-eater, 

Had a wife and couldn't BE her ; 

Put her in a pumpkin shell, 

And there heiii her very well. 
Helloween funt 


WEE WILLIE WINKIE 


Wee Willie Winkie through the town, 
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown, 
MI ct the window, crying through 
the lock, 
“Are the children all in bed, for it's eight 
‘clock! 
This kid Winkie should be locked up! 


A DILLER, A DOLLAR 
A diller, a dollar, a ten o'clock 


What makes you ΒΦ so soon? 
You used to WEB at ten o'clock, 
And now yo 

Clock watchers are one of our pet 
hates. 


THREE BLIND MICE 
‘Three blind mice, three blind mice, 
See how they IH, see how they IE 
‘They all run after the farmer's wife; 
She cut off their NI with a carving knife. 
Did ever you see such a sight in your life, 
As three blind mice? 

No, but we once had a (οἱ and a dog that were 
uncommonly affectionate. 


EON MONDAY 
ME or Monday, MINIM for danger; 
ΓΕ Γη ger; 
MMMM on Wednesday, get a letter; 
BINH cr. Thursday, something better; 
- on Friday, for sorrow; 
BI on Saturday, see your sweetheart 
tomorrow. 

Sweetheart or no sweetheart, we think this fellow 

hod better rest en Sunday. 


WHERE HAS MY LITTLE DOG GONE? 
Oh, where, oh, where has my little dog gone? 
Oh, where, oh, where can he be? 
‘With his Mi cut short and his tail cut long, 
Oh. where, oh, where is he? 

Wherever he is, you con be sure he's behaving 


himself, 
g 


NEXT IN LINE 


ο το 
nding on how well the fam 
Honey, depending on what the chances 
fire we won't have to dig him from out 
his place a year later. And, let me tell 
ou, senor, when we buy a man the 
Vhole six feet deep we are very certain 
Of his staying. We have never dug up a 
Six foot buried one yet. that is the ac 
Curaey with which we know the money 
‘of the people: 

"Twentyone, wenty-two, twenty-three 
Marie's lips moved with a small whisper. 

"And the bodies which are dug up are 

down here placed against the wall, with 
the other companeros: 

“Do the relatives know the bodies are 


The small man pointed. “This 
one. yo veo? It is new. It has been here 
but one year, His madre y pudre know 
him to be here, But have they money? 
Ah, no. 


never think of u 
“Did you hear that, Marie?” 
hat?” Thr thirty-one, thirty-two. 
thirty εἶπε, thiny four. "Yer. They nev- 
er think of it” 

sii e isu Ë paid again, ater 
a lapse?” inquired Joseph. 

‘ih that tne,” mid the caretaker, 
"ihe bodies are rebirtd for as many 
DOLI MS 

bunds like blackmail." sid Joseph. 
he lile man shrugged. hands m 
pockets "We must live 

“You are certain no one can 


π.δ... 
"So in this way you get them for 
pesos a year, year alter year, for 


twenty 
maybe thirty years If they don't pay 


you threaten to stand mamaci 
nino in the catacomb.” 

“We must live.” said the little man. 

Fifty-one, fifty-two, fifty-three. 

Marie stood in the center of the long 
corridor, the standing dead on all sides 
of her. 

‘They were screaming. 

They looked as if they had leap 
gripe uprigh in thelr graves, clutched 
hands over their shriveled bosoms and 
screamed, jaws wide, tongue» out, nos 
tyils Bared. 

And been frozen that way. 

All of them had open mouths. Theirs 
yet e perpetual, screaming. They were 
dead and they knew it. In every raw. 
fibre and evaporated organ they knew it. 

She stood listening to them scream. 

They say dogs hear sounds humans 
never hear, sounds so many decibels 
higher than normal hearing that they 
seem nonexistent. 

The corridor swarmed with screams. 
Screams poured from terroryavned lips 
and dry tongues, screams you couldn't 
hear because they were so high. 
owph walked up to one standing 
yet " 


or little 


‘Say "ah." suid Joseph. 
Sixty-five, sixty-six, sixty seven, counted 
Marie, among the screams. 


(continued from page 22) 


ith arms flung to 
ber Bead, mouth wide, teeth innet 
whose hair was wildly flourished, Jong 
amd shimmery on her head. Her eyes 
were small pale white blue egg in her 
bw 

"Some times, this happens. This wo- 
man, she is a cataleptic: One day she 
falls down upon the earth, but is really 
mot dead. lor, deep in her, the lile 
drum of her heart beats and beats, so 
dim one cannot hear. So she was buried 
in the graveyard in a fine inexpenive 
"Didn't you know she was cataleptic?” 

Her sisters knew. But this time they. 
thought her at fast dead. And funerals 
are hasty things in this warm town” 

“She was buried a few ours after her 

"ξεῖν 7" 
i, the same. All of this, as you see 
her here, we would never have known, 
if a year later, her sisters, having other 
things to buy, refused the rent on her 
burial. So we dug very quietly down and 
loosed the box amd took it up and 
opened ihe top of her box and laid it 
aside and looked in upon her — 

Marie stared. 

‘This woman had wakened under the 
earth. She had torn, shrieked, clubbed 
at the boxtid with fists, died of sufíoca- 
tion, in this attitude, hands flung over 
her gaping face, borroreyed, hair wild. 

“Be pleased, senor, to find the difer 
‘ence between her hands and these other 
ones; said the caretaker, “Their peace- 
Tul fingers at their hips, quiet as lite 
roses Hen? Ah, hersi are jumped up, 
very wildly, as if to pound the lid feel” 

"Couldn't rigor mortis do that?” 

“Believe me, senor, rigor mortis pounds 
upon no ids Rigor mortir screams not 
Tike this, nor twists nor wrestles to rip 
free nails, senor, or pry boards loose in 
am airless hysteria, senor. All thee 
Others are open of mouth, si, becuse 
they were not injected with the uis of 
embalming. but theirs is a simple 
screaming of muscles, senor. This seno: 
rita, here, hers is the muerte horrible.” 

Marie walked. scufling her shoes. 
turning frst this way, ther. that Naked 
bodies: Long ago the clothes had whis 
pered away. The fot women’s breasts 
Were lumps of yeasty dough left in the 
dust, The men's loins were indrawn, 
withered orchids. 

Mr. Grimace and Mr. Gape,” said 
Joseph. 

He pointed his camera at two men 
who seemed in conversation, mouths in 
midsentence, hands gesticulant and 
stflened over some long disolved gor 

‘Joseph clicked the shutter, rolled the 
film, focused the camera on another 
body, clicked the shutter, rolled the film, 
walked on to another. 

“This woman died in child-birtht* 

Like a little hungry doll, the prema- 
turely born child was wired, dangling to. 
her wrist. 

“This was a soldier. His uniform still 


half on him —" 

Glick, went the camera and Joseph 
rolled ὡς fa, Click went the Gamera 
and Joseph rolled the film, 

“Vd like a color shot of each and hi 
or her name and now be or she died,” 
said Joseph, "It woukl be an amazing, 
am ironical book to publish. The more 
Jeu think, the more i grows on you: 

ir life histories and then a picture. 
of each of them standing here.” 
each chest, solly. They 
τοῦ lw. sounds, ‘like someone 
Tapping on a door. 

Marie pushed her way through screams 
that hung netwise across her path, She 
walked evenly, in the corridor center, 
not slow, but not too fast, toward the 
spiral stair, not looking to either side, 
"lick. went the camera behind her. 


"You have room down here [or 
more?" said Joseph. 

"Si, senor. M. v 

“Wouldn't want to be next in line, 


iing list” 
senor, one would not wish 


to he next ὃς 5 
"How are chances of buying one οἱ 
these?” i 
"Oh. no. no, senor. Oh, no, no. Oh, 
"TII pay you fifty pesos” 
"Oh. no, senor, no, no, senor.” 


In the market, the remainder of candy 
skulls from the Death Fiesta were sold 
from flimsy Παῖς tables. Women hung 
with black rebozos sat quietly, now and 
then speaking one word to each other, 
the sweet sugar skeletons, the siccharine 
corpses and white candy skulls at their 
elbows. Fach skull had a name on top 
in gold candy curlicue; Jose or Carmen 
or Ramon or Tena or Guiermo or Rosa. 
They So cheap. The ο] 
was gone. a peto and got 
medal. ο * OS pe 

Marie wood in the marrow ret She 
saw the candy skulls and Joseph and 
ἂν dank dis wo ot the shal i's 
sack. 

“Not really.” said Marie, 

‘Why ot?” said Joseph. 

'Not alter just now," she sid. 

“In die entacombs?™ 

She nodded. 

He said. “But these are good 

"They look poisonous” 

“Just because they e skull shaped?" 
io. The sugar itself looks raw, how 

do you know what kind of people made 

them, they might have the colic” 

"My dear Marie, all people in Mex- 
κά have calc,” he sad. 

“You can eat them both,” she mid, 

“Ala, poor Yorick.” he sid, peeking 
into the bag. 

They walked alon 
held να Buildings in which 
were yellow window frames and pink 
Hon grilles amd ihe smell of tamales 
Came from them and the sound of lost 
fountains splashing on hidden tiles and 
the fide binds clustering and peeping 
in bamboo cages and someone playing 
Chopin on a piano. 

“Chopin, bere; said Joseph. "How 

(continuent on page 31) 


street that was 


ARNAULT ansor 


"I'm tired of sneaking around like this. Just what does 
your husband have against me anyway? 


playboy’s office playmate 
spends a quiet p. m. 
in her apartment 


JAMET pion supervises subscription 
pron πλνναν and ihe i a 
gn y obviously capable of 
Talsing the circulation of more than a 

s) im runs her departe 
may surprise some 


‘The weeks fust before Christi 

fusion of the year for a 
department and Jeners days 

and hectic, which gor ws το 

wondering what her holiday evenings are 

ike We thought our readers might be 


me with her to find out. 
yes in a smartly decorated, 


Miss Pilgrim wraps some Christmas gifts for femole friends ond relotives; the men on her list will be getting 
subscriptions to Playboy. The cords announcing Ployboy gift subscriptions have her picture on them. 


Relaxing, Janet puts recordings on her hifi ond curls up with a book. She likes to weor men’s pajama tops 
to bed and lounge around the apartment in them; she buys c poir and throws the bottoms away. Her musical 
taste runs to Sinatra, show tunes ond light classics; she is presently reading Wouk's Marjorie Morningstar. 


μα 


MISS DECEMBER PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE OF "aon 


PLAYBOY 


E! 


NEXT IN LINE (continued from page 27) 


strange and swell” He looked up. "T 
like that bricge. Hold this” He handed 
τετ 
picture of a red bridge spanning two 
white buildings with 2 man walking on 
it, a red serape on his shoulder. “Fine,” 
πὶὰ Joseph. 

Marie walked looking at Joseph. look- 
ing away from him and then back at 
him, her lips moving but not speakin 
her eyes fluttering. a little neck mus 
under her chin ike a wis a itle nerve. 
in her brow ticking. She passed. the 
Candy bag from one hand 10 the other. 
She stepped up a kaned back 
somehow, gestured. said something to re- 
store balance, and dropped the sick 

For Chris's sake!” Joseph snatched 

Pag. “Look what you've done! 


them smashed; ] wanted to save them 
{or friends up home 

“Tm sorry," she said vaguely. 

"For God's sake, oh, damn it to hell,” 
he scowled into the bag. "1 might not 
find any more good as these. Oh, I don't 
know, | give upl” 

Joseph twisted the bag shut, stuck it 
furiously in his pocket 

walked back to the twothi 
lunch at the el E 

He sat at the table with Marie, sip- 
ping Albond:gas soup Irom his moving 
spoon, silently. Twice she commented 
cheerfully upon the wall murals and he 
ooked at her steadily and sipped. The 
tag of crack skulls ay on the table. 

The soup plates were cleared awa 
a brown Manal. le Piate of ht 
adis was set down. 

Marie looked at the plate. 

There were sixteen enchiladas. 

queque o ad Ku aar 
take onc and sto c put her fork 
and rife down at cach side of her 
plate, She glanced at the walls and then 
At her husband and then at the sixteen 
ΠΠ ας 
isicen. One by one. A long row of 
tiem aede tet 

She counted them. 

One, two, three, four, five six. 
Jom took onc on his plate and ate 
it 


Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. 
She put her Hands on her lap. 
‘Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fiftcen, six- 


"my. L 
mother enchilada before 
himself. 1t had an interior clothed in a 
Papyrus of corn tortilla, It was slender 
and it was one of many he cut and 


inds mouth, and 


με’ 
‘Thirteen’ enchiladas remained, like 
tiny bundles, like scrolls, 
[c ate five more. 
don't feel well,” she 
'cel better if you at 


ENT 
He finshed, then opened. the sack 
and took out cnc ofthe half demolished 
Sue 
Nor Keri she sad. 

“Why now” And he put one suar 
Tee lo Ms His, chemi, -Not ἂν 
the ume. He popped 

Not bad at 


‘She looked at the name on the skull 
he was eating. 

Marie, it said. 

Jt was tremendous, the way she helped 
him pack. In those newsreels you see 
men leap off diving boards into pools, 
aly a moment tater when he red is 
revered, to jump back up in airy fan- 
tary to alight onde more ele on ic div 
ing board. Now, as Joseph watched, the 
sults and dreses flew into their boxes 
and cases, the hats were like birds dart 
ing, clapped. into round, bright hat. 
boxes, the shoes seemed (o run across 
the floor like mice to leap into valises. 
The sizes banged shut, the h 
licked, the keys tuned. es 

TTherc!" cried she. “AML packed" 

“In record time.” he said. 

She started for the door. 

“Here, let me help,” he said. 

“They're not heavy.” she said. 

“But you never carry suitcases. You 
never have. I'll call a boy.” 

“Nonsense.” she said, breathless with 
the weight of the valises 

A boy seized the cases outside the 
door. “Senora, por Javor!” 

"Have we forgotten anything?” He 
looked under the two beds, he went out 
on the balcony and gazed at the plua. 

in, went to the bathroom, looked 


“Did TP” She put it on and went out 
the door. 

“I don’t know," he said 
late in the day to be moving out." 


"Its damn 
“It’s only thiee-thirty.” she sid 
“Only three thirty.” 

"I don't knows" he said, doubtfully. 

He looked around the room, stepped 
out, closed the door. locked it, went 
downstairs, jingling the keys 

She was outside in the tar already, 
settled in, her coat folded on her lap, 
her gloved hands folded on the coat. He 
tame out, supervised the loading of 
what luggage remained into the trunk 
receptacle, G the front door and 
tapped on the window. She unlocked it 
and let him in. 

"Well, here wc go! she cried with 
a ugh. her face rosy, her eyes fran- 
tically bright. She was leaning forward. 
as if by this movement she might set 
the car rolling merrily down the hill 
"Thank you, darling. for letting me get 
the refund on the money you paid for 
‘our room tonight. I'm sure well 
much bettcr in Guadalajara 
thank yont" 

"Yeah." he said. 

Inserting the igni 


eo 
E a 
ss νο ως 
E e 
Wo e eco 
E T. 
προς, 
τας. μον 
όν ig back, ceasing, 
η. gain, next time i'll work," 
she sud. EC 
on 
UU URN 
REL 
"lett πο Tro sure,” she said, “Is the 


pened. 

"You're not doing it right; it almost 
caught that time,” she cried. 

s I wear put the battery, and Cod 
ows where you can buy a Dat 
hee = Y ey 

“Wear it out, then. I'm sure 
next time!” 

“Well. if you're so good, you uy it" 
He slipped from the ear and beckoned 
her over behind the wheel. "Go ahead.” 

‘She bit her lips and settled behind 
the wheel, She did things with her hands 
that was like a little mystic ceremony, 
with moves of hands and body she was 
trying to overcome gravity, friction and. 
every other natural law. She patted the 
Starter with her tocles shoe. The car re 
‘mained solemnly quiet. À little squeak 
Came out of Marie's tightened lips. She 
Tammed the starter home and there ws 
3 dear smell in the air as she fluttered 


start 


he said. “Fine! 
Get back over on your side, will you?" 

He got three boys to Push and they 
started the car downhill. He jumped in 
to steer, The car rolled swiftly, bump- 
ing and rating. Marie [ace glowed 
epectomty. “Th wart itt” she said 

Nothing started. They rolled quietly 
imo the filling station at the bottom 
οἵ thc hill, bumping softly on the cob- 
bles, and stopped by the tanks, 

She sat there, saying nothing, except 
when the man came from the station her 
side was locked, the window up, and he. 
had to come around on the husband's 
side to make his query. 


The mechanic arose from the car en 
gine, scowled at Joseph and they spoke 
Together in Spanish, quietly Š 

‘She rolled the window down and lie 
tened. 

“What's he say?" she demanded. 

“The two men talked on. 

“What does he say?” she asked. 

"The dark. mechanic waved at the en- 
gine, Joseph nodded and they con- 
versed. 

“What's wrong?” Marie wanted to 
know. 

Joseph frowned over at her. “Wait a 


moment, will you. 1 can't listen to both 
a yon 
Whats wrong 
"The motor — 
The mechanic took Joseph's elbow. 
They said many words 
Wars he ying now?” she asked 
"He εκ. mid Joseph, and was 
ost as the Mexican took him over to the 
engine and bent him down in earnest 
dtncovery 
ow much will it cost?” she cried, 
out the window, around at their bent 
bacha A s: 
The mechanic spoke to Josep 
Hifey-five pesort said Joseph. 
“How long will it take?” mid Mari 
ph asked the mechanic. The ms 
aged and they argued for five min- 


low long wil it take?" cried bis 


e discusion continued 
The san went down the sky. She 
looked, at the sun upon the trees that 
mood high by the cemetery yard. The 
Sindon τοις and rose until the valley 
as enclosed and only the sky was clear 
And untouched and blue 

“wn days maybe thuee, 
turning to Marie: 

"Two dayi Can't he fix it so we can 
the rest done there? 

“Joseph asked the man. The man re- 
plied. 

Joseph, sid to hi wife, "No, hel 
haye do the entre job 

"Wi. thats silly. is eo silly, he 
doesn't ether, he décat really have to 
doit all you tell him that, Joe, tell 
him that, he car hurry and [à it-—7 

"The two mer ο They were 
talking earnestly again. 


Joseph, 


This time 

tion. "The 
He did Ἡ 
or 

"I don't need anythin 
ving t locked 
"You'll necd your nightgown,” he 
sid 

"TI deep make" she si 

Well te imt my fault 
"That damned cr. 

“You can go down and watch them 
work on it, hter” she said. She sat on 
the edge οἱ the bed, They were in a 
new room. She bad. erp return to 
thelr old room. She said she couldn't 
stand i. She wanted a new mom so i 
wouid seem they were im s new hotel 
ima new ci. So this wat à new mom, 
with à view οἱ the alley and the sewer 
stem instead of the plaza and the drum 
ox teet. “You go down and supervise 
the work, Joe. If you don't, jou know 
they i take welat? She looked at him. 
“You should be down there now. Intead 
of sanding around” 

Tr go down,” he ad 
"TIL go down with jou. 1 vant to buy 

"You won't find any American maga- 

cs in a town λε ἐπα” 

ean look, cat I" 
sides, we haven't much money 


was all in very slow mo 
unpacking of the suitcases. 
own, she let hers by the 


she said, 


he said. "I don’t want to have to wire 
my bank. It takes a god awful time and 
i's not worth the bother." 

^p can at least have my magazines” 
she said. 

“Maybe one or two 

"As many as Í wa 
hly, on the bed. 

For God's sake, you've gota 


Mion 
ines in the car now. Posts, Col- 


Mercuries, Atlantic Monthlies, 
Pogo, Superman! You haven't read half 
of the articles" 
"Hut they're mot new? she mid 
“They're not new, I've looked at them 
md after you've looked at a thing, 1 
"t know — 
Try reading them. 
m,” he maid. 
ls they came downstairs, night was in 
the plaza. 


nstead of looking. 


"Give me a few pesos” she sid, and 
he gave her some "Teach me to say 
about magazines in Spanish,” she said 

“Quiero una publicacion Americino;" 
he ssid, walking ail 

She repeated |t sümblingy, and 
laughed. “Thanks 

He went on ahead to the mecha 
shop. and she turned in at the ne 
Farmacia Botica, and all the magari, 
Taie before her there were alien colors 
And alin name She read the tides 
ΤῊΝ sit moves οἱ her eyes and looked 
the old man behind the counter “Do 
you have American magazines?" she 
Inked in ος to ue th 
Spanish wort 

The oid man wz 

“Habla Ingles 

‘continued on nest poge) 


d at her, 
‘she asked. 


FEMALES BY COLE: 18 


Exhibitionist 


PLAYBOY 


d to think of the right words. 
nol" she stopped. She started 
agin, “Americano—magg-ahzeenas?” 

“Oh, no, senorita” 

She whirled and fed. 

Shop following shop she found no 
magazines save those giving bull fights 
in blood on their covers or murdered 
people or laceconfection priests. But at 
last three poor copies of the Post were 
bought with much display and loud 
laughing and she gave the vendor of 
this small shop a handsome tip. 

‘She ran back to the hotel and slipped. 
going upstairs 

She sat in the room. The magazines 
were piled on each side of her and in a 
circle at her feet. She had made a little 
le with portculli of words and into 
she was withdrawn. All about her 


ther days, amd thee were the outer 
Barrier, amd upon the inside of the bar 
Tier. upon her lap. as yet unopened, but 
er hands were trembling to open them 
and ead and read and sead again with 
hungry eyes, were the tree battered 
τν νο de Ent 

ae. She would go through them page 
T ose, tne by fne, she decided, Net 
a' ine would go unnoticed, a comma 
"irat every lile πὰ and every color 
would be Exel by her, And — she sled 
Wilh discovery in those other maga 
Mines at ter ket were wll sert 
ments and cartons the had neglecird — 
there would be litle morsels of tut for 
her ta relai and ute Das. 

Se put to bae uo Go de ks o 
her nel 

Somewhere, a soft breeze was blowing. 

"The hairs along the back of her neck 
slowly stood upright. 

She touched them with one pale hand 
as one touches the nape of a dandelion. 

Her hands began to uenible She saw 
them tremble. Her body began to em; 
ble: Under the bright bright print of the 
Ine lee in ahe cl nd t 
Put on especially for tonight in which 
he bad whirled and cavorted leverübiy 
before the cofimebred mirror. Beneath 
ihe rayon skirt the body πα ali wire and 
tendon and exam Her teeth ciae 
tered and fused and chaterd. Her Πρ, 
Mick scared one lip crushing another, 

Joseph knocked on the door. 

They got ready for bed. He had re 
tumed with the news that somethin 
had Deen done to the car and it wou 
take time, hed go watch them tomor- 


knock on the door,” she 
said, sanding before the mirror as she 
Leave it unlocked then,” he said. 

T want it locked. But don't rap. 


"What's wrong with rapping?” 
t sounds funy” e tid. 
"What do you mean, funny?” 

he wouldn't ay. She was looking at 
herself in the mirror and she was naked, 
with her hands at her sides, and there 
were her breasts and her hips and her 
entire body, and it moved, it felt the 


floor under it and the walls and air 
around it, and the breasts could know 
hands if hands were put there, and the 
stomach would make no hollow echo if 
touched. 

“For, Gods ske,” he sid, “Don't 
stand there admiring yourselt He was 
in bed, "What are you doing?” he wid. 

re you putting your hands u 
that way for, over your pa" ο 

He put the lights out. 

She could not speak to him for she 
knew no words that he knew and he 
mid nothing to her that she under. 
stood, and she walked to her bed and 
slipped in to it and he lay with his back 
ENS ute i i Ar e en 

nd as she lay this way the long hours 
οἱ midnight came. Oh, the nigh 
very long. She consoled herself by 
ik of the car starting tomorrow, the 
throttling sound and 
amd the road movi 
smiled in the dark with pleasure. But 
then, suppose the car did not start? She 
withered in the dark, like a burning, 
withering paper. All the folds and cor. 
ners of her clenched in about her and 
tick tick went the wrist watch, tick tick 
tick and another tick to wither on... 

Morning. She looked at her husband 
lying straight and easy on his bed. She 
let her hand laze down at the cool space 
between the beds AN night her Band 
had hung in that cold empty interval 
between. Once she had put her hand 
out toward him, stretching, but the 
space was just a Bittle too long, she 
couldn't reach kim. She had snapped 
her hand tack, hoping he hadn't beard 
the movement of her silent reaching. 

“Joseph!” she suddenly screamed. 

Josephi" she screamed agai 
ing up in terror. 

Bong! Bong! Bong! went the bell 
thunder acros the street from the great 
tiled cathedral! 

Pigeons rose in a white whirl, 
like So ‘many-magasines,Ruttred past 
the window! The pigeons cirded the 
Placa. spiraling up. "Bong! went the 
Hella Honk went dani hort Far away 

m an alley à music box 
Cielito Lido. i: 

All these faded into the dripping of 
ὡς faucet in the bath sink- 

Joseph opened his eyes. 

8 We S on het bea suring at 
im. 

“I thought —" he said. He blinked. 
“No.” He shut his eyes and shook his 
head. “Just the bells” A sigh. "What 
time is 

"I don't know. Yes I do. Eight 
o'dock” 

"Good God,” he murmured, turning 
over. "We can sleep three more hours” 
“You've got to get upl" she cried. 

"Nobody up. They won't be to work 
at the garage until ten, you know that, 
you can't rush these people: keep quiet 

"But you've got to get up.” she mid. 

He half turned. Sunlight priciled 
black hairs into bronze on his upper lip. 
“Why? Why, in Christs rame, do 1 have 
to get up?” 

"You need a shave!" 


ander, 


she almost 


screamed. 

He moaned, "So I have to get up and 
lather myself at eight in the moming 
because Í need a shave,” 

7Well, you do nerd one" 

“Tm not shaving again till we reach 
Texas” 

“You can t go around looking like a 
tramp!” 

"I can and will Dve shaved every 
morning for thirty goddamn mornings 
and put on a tic and had a crease in my 
pants From now on, no pants, no ties 
no shaving, no nothing,” 

He yanked the covers over his ears so 
Violently that he pulled the blankets 
off one of his naked legs 

The leg hung upon the rim of the 
bed, wann white in the sunlight, each 
little black hair — perfect. 

Her eyes widened, focused, stared 
upon it 


He went in and out of the hotel all 
day. He did not shave. He walked along 
the pla tiles helow. He walked so 
slowly she wanted to throw a lightning 
bolt out of the window and hit him. He 
used and talked to the hotel manager 
low, under a drumcut tree, shifting 
his shoes on the pale blue plaza tiles. 
He looked at birds on trees and saw how 
the State Theatre statues were dreised 
in fresh morning gilt, and stood on the 
comer, watching tht wafe carefully, 
‘There’ was no trafic! He was standing 
there on purpose, taking his time, not 
looking hack at her: Why didn't he un, 
Iope, down ἂν alley, down the 
to the garage, pound on the doors, 
threaten the mechanics, Lis then, by 
their pants, shove them into the car 
‘motor! He stood instead, watching the 
ridiculous trafic pass. A hobbled swine, 
a man on a bike, a 1927 Ford, and three 
halfnude “children. Go, go, go, she 
screamed silently, and almost smashed 
the window. 

He sauntered across the street, He 
went around the corner. All the way 
down 10 the garage he'd stop at wi 
dows, read signs, look at pictures, han 
le pottery. Maybe he'd stop in for a 
beer. God, yes, a beer. 

She walked in the plaza, took the sun, 
hunted for mote magazines. She cleaned 
her fingernails, burnished them, took a 
bath, walked again in the plaza, ate ver 


ης 
upon her marines 
"She did. peg down. She was afi 


to. Each time she did she fell into a 
half dream, lalfdrowse in which all her 
childhood was revealed in helpless 
melancholy. OM friends, children, he 
hadn't seen or thought of in twenty 
years filled her mind. And she thought 
οἳ things she wanted to do amd had 
men om, Sh bal mean ol La 
joldridge for the past eight years since 
college, but somehow. she never had. 
What friends they had been! Dear Lila) 
She thought, when lying down, of all 
the books, the fine new and old books, 
she had meant to buy and might never 
buy now and read. How she loved books 
and the smell of books. She thought of 
(continued overleaf) 


“Notice how your husband has stopped asking, ‘When's that 
damn girl friend of yours going home? " 


PLAYBOY 


38 


NEXT IN LINE 


a thousand old sad things. She'd wanted. 
to own the Oz books all her life, yet had. 
never bought them. Why not? while yet 
there was life! The first thing she'd do 
would be to buy them when she got 

ack to New York! And she'd call Lila 
idi! And shed see Bert and 
Helen and Louise, and go 
is and walk around in her 
childhood place and sec the things to 
be seen there. 1 she got back to the 
States, I. Her heart beat painfully in 
cr, paused, held onto itself, and beat 
again. If she ever got back. 


ange again and walk in Central 
Thud and a thud and a thud. Pause. 
joseph knocked on the door. Joseph 
Anbeta on ὡς dogr and the, ος ms 
red and there would be am 
ight, and the magazine sho 
ere dose and, there were no mare 
magazines, and they ate supper, lile 
Dit anyway for her. and he went out in 
the evening to walk in the town. 
Decply inside herself, she felt the first 
ile co slip. Another night, another 
ight, another night, she thought. And 
his will be longer than the last... 

Joseph was in the room, he had come 
in bot she didn't even hear him. He 
was in the room but it made no differ: 
ence, he changed nothing with his com- 
ing. He was getting ready for bed and 
sid nothing as hc moved about and 
she sid nothing but fel into bed while 
he moved around in a ποῖ ΕΟ space 
beyond ber and once he spoke but she 
didn't hear him. 

She timed it, Every five minutes she 
looked at her watch and the watch 
shook and time shook and the five fir- 
gers were Gleen moving, reassembling 

το five. The shaking never stopped 
She cilled for water. She turned and 
turned upon the bed. ‘The wind blew 
qase, ecking the Tights and spilling 
ronis of illumination that hit bulidings 
glancing sidelong Blov, causing win 
dows to pliner like opened eyes and 
shut avifdly as the light tilted in yet an- 
other direction. Downstairs, all was 
quiet after the dinner, no sounds can 

into their silent room. He handed 
water glas. 
pale, Joseph." she said, lying 
in Tolds af cover 

° all right.” he said. 

i» Tm not. Pm not well. Tm 


There's nothing to be afraid of” 
want to get on the train for the 

ied States 

train in Leon, but none 

here, | lighting a new cigarette. 
"Let's drive there." 


(continued from page 36) 


“In these taxis with these drivers, and 


“Yes. 1 want to ga.” 

ov be all right in the moming” 
‘No. No. 1 won't be all right.” 

ΟἹ be all 
know 1 won't be. I'm not well” 
‘would cost hundreds of 

dollars to have the car shipped home.” 

"I don't care. 1 have two hundred dot. 
hary in the bank at home. PU pay for it. 
But. please, lets go home.” 

“When the sun shines tomorrow you'll 
feel better, its just that the sun's gone 


ss, phe dr gone and the windy 
blowing.” she whispered, losing ber 
ing her head, listen 

wind. Mexico's a strange 
and. All the jungles and deseris and 
lonely stretches, and here and there a 
little town, like this, with a few lights 
burning you could put out with a sap 
of your fingers x 

és a pretty big country" he s 
‘Don't these people ever get lonely 
They're used to it this way.” 
Don't they get afraid, then?” 
They have a religion for that.” 

wish 7 had a religion.” 

"The minute you get a religion you 
stop thinking,” be said. “Believe in one 
thing too much and you have no room 
for new ideas.” 

“Tonight” she ssid, faintly, "Td Tike 
nothing more than to have no more 
room (or new ideas, to top thinking, to 
believe in onc thing s wich it leaves 
me no time to be afraid.” 

“You're not afraid.” he sid. 

IFT had a religion,” she said, ignor- 
*ç bim. "Id have a lever with which 
to lift myself. But I haven't z lever now 
and I don't know bow to lift myel." 

“Oh. for God's — he mumbled to 
himsell, sitting down. 

7I med to have a religion." she sid 

ama 

"No, that was when I was twelve, I 
Rot over that. | mean — later" 

"You never told mc" 

“You should have known.” she said, 

What religion? Plater int ὡς 
sscristy? Any special saint you liked to 
ν᾿. 

= 
‘And did he answer your prayers?" 
“For a litle while, Lately, no, never. 
Never any wore. Not for years now. But 
1 keep prayh 


pitcher, and ít was 2 lonely trickling 
sound in the room. "My rame.” 

“Coincidence,” she said. 

‘They looked at one another for a few 
moments 

He boked away. “Plaster saints,” he 
said, drinking the water down. 


my hand, will y 
sighed. He came and held ber hand. 
Alter a minute she drew her hand away, 


hid it under the blanket, leaving his 
hand empty behind. With her eyes 
closed she trembled the words, “Never 
mind. I's really nice the way 1 can 
rake you hold my hand in my mind.” 
"Gods" he said, and went into the bath- 
soon. Ste turned off the light, Only the 
small crack of light under the bathroom 
door showed. She listened to her heart. 
lt beat one hundred and fifty times a 
minute, steadily, and the lite whinin 
tremor was still in her marrow, as i 
ach bone of her body had a blue boule. 
fy imprisoned in it, hovering, buzzing, 
shaking, quivering deep deep deep. Her 
eyes reversed into henelf; to watch the 
secret heart of herself pounding itsell 


to pieces against the side of her ches. 
‘ater ran in the bathroom, She 
washing his teeth. 


and 


"What do you want?" 
want you to promise me something, 
please, oh, please. 

“What ist" 

“Open the door, first 

hat is i” he demanded, behind 
the closed door. 

“Promise me,” she said, and stopped. 

rome yo, what” he asked, dier 
a long pause. 

"Promise me" she sid, and couldn't. 
gp on. She lay there. He said nothing. 
She heard the watch and her heart 
pounding together. A lantern creaked 
95 the Boel exterior "Promise me, 
anything — happens,” she heard herself 
Ee mee ed 
Con one of the surrounding hills talking 
at him from the distance, "— if any: 
thing happens to me, you won't let me 
be buried here in the graveyard over 
those terrible catacombs!” 

“Don't be foolish,” he said, behind 
the door, y 

"Promise me?" she suid, eyes wide in 

dark Ἢ 
‘OF i the foolish things to talk 


about.” 
"Promise, please promise?” 

‘You'll be all right in th 

said. 

“Promise so 1 can sleep, T ean sleep if 


only youd say you wouldn't let me be 
pur den 1 date want to be put there? 

“Honey” he «id, out οἳ p 

“Please.” she said. 

“Why should 1 promise anything so 
ridicula" he vil. "Youll be fint u 
row: And besides Ifyou did, yout 
Kok very prey in the tacoma dand 
ὧν Beth ur Grimace and N 

ipe: wih a sprig ή 
Tem iaia As ta ο, 

lence. She lay there in the dark 
"Don you Αλί you'll look. Pretty 
Wee?" be sked, laughingly, behind ἂν 
pm 

‘She said nothing in the dark room. 

"Dort you he si. 

οι ο ae 
μία ος tang ane, 

“Eh? he asked her brushing his 
Ps 

She lay there tring up at the cell 

δημιο on Bde 55) 


A Lady's Honor 


humor BY RAY RUSSELL 


trust that noble 


fellow geoffrey 
lo keep it 
free from stain 


“Stop this shameful display at once!" be cried. EJ 


PLAYBOY 


Gwendo, She was capable of taking any- 
thing in her strid Tor example, 
Daphne Grey, a rival actress, brought a 
Hollywood rumor to a head by aking 
her point blank if she had, in Jes prow 
perous days, performed in one-reel Rims 
Suited primarily for private showings at 
men's “smoker, Gwendo replied. "I 
really couldn't say, darling. Some 
Bie +" Ënd here ibe, regarded Daphne 
With unusual fixity) “= may be able to 
munch sandwiches, do intricate mathe 
matical sums or paint their nails while 
ín the throes of passion, 1 myself am not 
30 jaded. I certainly would never notice 
an intruder with a camera, 

Admiring Gwendo as L did, 
with pleasure that T anticipated the 


the: party she was throwing to signaling 
the divorce from her Btu hund. He, 
fan Gecrey Wibnont 


the peerless ty 
of the New York and London stages, 
bad enjoyed connubial privileges with 
Gwendo for roughly six months before 
she consigned him to the εκ heap. Poor 
Geoffrey: what a blow to his monolithic 
go. Oh well, it had been a six months 
many a redblooded lad myself in- 
cluded, could look upon with envy- 

"The evening of the party found me in 
an extravagant mood. 1 did gay, foolish 
things Ñ a new blade in my 
rapor. rowing Aqua Velva about 
with great abandon, When my tollee 
was completed, I hopped nimbly into 
my Volkwagen and, Ἡ sorg on miy lipe 
made straightway for the agdesr bit: 
Toom cottage that kept the ταῖν ol 
C REDE ιδηι 

T was greeted at 3 ir 
heneli, She was drescd (1 tse the word 
in its broad sense) in something of her 
own design. The front vas one long. 
unlimited decolletage through which the 
green hills of Africa, salt lick and all, 
might be discerned. 

"My dear Ramrod,” she gushed (ber 
hicknames were rather avant garde). 
"I'm so glad you could come. Say tome. 
thing wanton to me." 

"Thy navel,” I said wantonly, "is like. 
a round goblet which wanteth not liq 
sor, thy belly i like an heap of wheat 
et about with lilies” 

"How nice of you to notice." she said. 

‘Taking my bot and grubby hand, she 
ted me Io ike mat ie geri 
forced my fingers around a drink and in- 
troduced me as Alec Guinness (her way 
of demolishing the Hollywood caste sys- 
tem which looks down upon such lowh 
writers as myself). This clever device al 
forded me a gat deal of populari 
for some time, and though T suffer 
the pangs οἱ imminent exposure when 
one red headed starlet told ine 1 looked 
40 different off the screen, 1 quickly as 
sured her 1 never appeared before the 
cameras without fine donning onc of 
several large rubber masks. 

The entire cadre of bobbysox bait 
was on hand: every Tom, Dick, Rock, 

ab, Touch, Race, Shaft, Thrust and 
Harry. From time to time one of these 
would hang about Gwendo like a bird 
af prey, and she, paniy out of pity, 
partly out of joie’ de vivre, and partly 
1o clear the atmosphere of that uncom- 
fortable tension he contributed, would 


ES 
RE EAD 
pod bud 
αι μας 
μα ας 
was not ificult tor me to reconstruct. 
rud Sha 
heart I recalled how, on onc occasion, 
Se eoe 
she poured herself a shot of rye, tossed. 

aaa qia 
ime you can do me a favor, Toni 
πον 
“ρας 
ποτ T 
mond tiara on her head, bracelets on. 
em ESL 
her toes, and Geoffrey Wilinont on her 
ποια 
si ον i a 
το 


rey vos Kily jovial toward her, but 
she took it in her usual stride, greeting 
them both effusively and screwing drinks 
into their fists 

“Isn't Geoffrey handsome?" she asked 
me later. "Nobody will ever know what 
an effort of will it required to give such 
a decorative piece of goods the air’ 

“Why did you, Gwendo?” 1 asked. 

"Mind over matter,” she replied. "My 
loins okt keep him, my brains mid kick 
him out And just this once the loins 
los. Geolireys sweet im his way, but 
Lord God of Hoss what a bore. He 
never seemed so stuffy in the old days: 
but bicy — oh, darling. you have no 
kis, Imegine man oho would Sate 
Shelley to a girl on his wedding night.” 

“Why, that seems very romantic. 
Touching. 1 Call it” 

“Touching, my tailbone.” 

σα love to” 

“Later. Really, a few lines of Shelley 
1 might have swallowed, but when it 
Ty on or for fre minus and me 
fairly gasping for that goed old con- 
summatjorrdevoutiy-to be wie, ον po: 
that was too much for little Gwendolyn, 
1 endured it for six months just for the 
sake of that Greek god crass of his 
then my gorge rose, Fa had it” 

“Does sound rather trying.” I admit- 
ted. “Still, not every girl can take the 
foremost tragedian of our tine to bed 
every night: 

‘Darling. you can take all the fore: 
most tragedians οἵ our tine and 
Here she grew too graphic for my pri 
tine pen. 

“Mr. Guinness" said the red-beaded 


starlet, sidling up to me after Gwendo 
had wa οὔ, "you've acted with 
Yvonne de Carlo. Tell me: is it true 


what that expos’ magazine said about 
her? Was she once a man?" 
"Not that 1 could notice,” 1 said. “But 
1 have heard that Bob Mitchum was 
once a Buddhist priest” 
vendo was unrolling a movie screen 
ratory to giving us a preview ol 
He days ines fa iial ata οἱ Cwen- 
do's parties) and one of the deftchi 
‘was setting up a projector atop the 
pud pen: Thee were iden ieee 
ish for the available chairs, hassocks and 
laps: L, not being fleet enough, wound 


Lup cross-legged on the floor next to the 
starlet. An excess of liquor had made 
her suddenly familiar: she called me 
Alec" and stroked my thighs as soon as 
the lights went out. 


current flm was one of those stirring 
affairs that usually take place aboard a 
inking shi irplane with one 
‘engine gone. This time it appeared to 
be a railroad train stranded in the snow. 
1 can't be certain, but T think there was 
a shipment of uranium threatening 

go off in the freight car. Among the 
many familiar characters was a steely 
eyed, firm-jawed tycoon who disinte- 
grated under the strain and ran amok, 
Screaming and rolling his eyes uni 


wa 
orm 


the Tights went on 
just as the starlet was seeking new terri- 
tory to stroke. 1 cursed softly. 

Daphne Grey's voice was the first to 
be heard: “That was just lovely, 
Gwendo dear. Would you mind awful 
if we ran off some of mine now? 
Gwendo acquiesced with welleoncesled 
annoyance and Daphne produced a can 
of fin which was promptly threaded 
into the projector. The starlet resumed 
operations as the lights went out for the 
second time. 

1 wes amazed at the primitive photog: 
raphy of Daphne's film. It appeared to 
See 
magnesium torches. I was even morc 
amazed when I saw that the actress who 
walked into camera range was not 
Daphne but Cwendo, looking at least 
fiftcen years younger. When she pro- 
ceeded to urip down to her pelt, dhere 
was litle doubt in my mind as to the 
mature of the film, and what doubt re- 
mained was dispelled upon the entrance 
of a heavily made-up young man who 
abo began peeling, 

The starlet squealed with delight, but 
a large form stepped in front of the 
projector, blacking out the screen, Dix 
appointed groans. filled. the room, A 
resonant voice stid, "Stop this shameful 
display at once!” The lights went on 
again and Gcoffrey Wilmont was dir 
covered solemnly removing the. Rim 
from the projector and stuffing it back 
nto the can. 

“How small of you, Daphne,” he said 
severely. “How ignoble.” But Daphne, 
‘emitting a witdvlike cackle, had sailed 
out the door. 

Geoffrey tucked the reel of film under 
his arm and, with a gallant bow to 
Gwendo, murmured, “It will be my 
pleasure, madam, to consign this object 
to the fire it so richly deserves. Do 1 

(continued on page 60) 


wt must coness that, up until 
recently, we always thought 
οἱ Japanese theatre in terms 
οἱ grim movies like Rosho- 
mon ond Gate of Hell, he 
classic Kabuki dancers ond 
the traditional, stylized Noh 
plays. 

M would appear, how- 
ever, that the Noh plays are 
no ploce in today’s Japan, 
‘end thot the most popular 
theatre is, rather, a kind of 
"Yes" play thot seems to 
owe litle to ancient Jopo- 
mese drama ond o greot 
deol to American burlycue. 

‘At the Nichigski Music 

` Hell in Tokyo, nubile Nip- 
ponese naiads smile pleas- 
ση], donee, and take part 
im one-act ploys— oll. of 
which sounds remarkably! 
dull until we remember that 


eft T 


Südame butterfly has 


Familiar pin-ups from American magazines decorate one theatrical 
marquee; U. S. N. costumes and Stateside floorshows set the pace. 


O-««AOdA u mcounr-zcu 


A mermald may be seductive and yet have disadvantages. In this sketch, titled Seven Peeping 
Toms from Heaven, an enterprising warrlor solves the problem swiftly, simply and satisfactorily. 


the ladies under discussion ore, in response 
o popular request, naked — or nearly naked, 
‘anyhow. The nature of the one-oc! ploys 
may be inferred by ο typical title: Touch Not 
My Throbbing Bro. 

IF you're interested in tracing trends and 
influences, we might moke passing mention 
οἱ the woy American customs have token 
hold in hitherto trodition-steeped Japon. 


Ë 


{ N 
‘far cry from the 
F kimono of yester- 


Ο-«”πΟο- u mcOtunrzacul 


If the caged beauty 
featured In this extrav- 


complete its education. 


U. 5. slong ond U. S. movies have gone over 
big there, and our rational game, boveboll, 
hos been erthusiostcally clasped to the col- 
lective Joporese boom. Which brings us 
right back to the lodies of the Nichigeki, and 
about time. Ore porogroph of digression is 
about oll we con reasonobly expect you Ίο 
put up with, 

ramors Tokyo correspondent hos sent us 
reams of rich, beautiful prose describing the 
social significance of this vitol new art form, 
‘ond we fully intend to read it some doy. 
Right now, though, lers just look οἱ all the 
pretty pictures he sent oleng to illustrate his 


pod 
ΕΗ 


PLAYBOY 


classic affair 


some idiot comes in here and buys it, 
ΤΊΙ kill him, So help me God, ats 
what PI do 

Í let him calm down, then | ssid, 
"Hank, listen. If youre vo nuts about 
the car, if it means all this to you, why 
lon’t you buy the damın thing and ger 
it over. witht Why all this creeping 
Around at night, why cha big dra 

He laughed. the coldest laugh 1 think 
se ever heard. "Thats a teal brain- 
om^ he said. "Now why didt 1 
think of that) Just go ahead and buy 
h. 

‘Wel, you want it. dont you" 

‘OL course T want it Unlortunutely 
1 don't have seven thousand. five hun- 
dred dollars, which is the price. 1 do 
even have five hundred dollars 
v Ne ell for à while: The ia τὰ 
been fighting off broke through fall. 

nd wh ed ihe door an 

out ot th 
"You don't underst 
E 

told him yes, 1 thought 1 dia. 

Then you we why 1 haven" told 
Ruth. What could Ú tell her that Tm 
ove with a car?" 
οι coude t do that” 
los he said, "shes a woman." 

1 thought, yes she is she is that, A 
beautiful and desirable woman, and Pm 
in love with her. Not with a hunk of 
machinery » - - 

T walked to the edge of the lot. Then, 
almost scared, 1 started back. | knew 
thee ML 1. thought. much about ie, T 
wouldn't do it. And it was the only real 
chance Td wen. 


do you?" he 


What's your plan?” I asked him. 
Yave any 


“I don 
“Thin 


he sid. 


(continued [vom page H) 


"Maybe. 1 don't know, Tve never 
been through anything like this before. 
Do you think 1 ought to see a doctor?” 

"No; 1 said. “You'd spend two hun- 
red dollars just to learn that you've 
got a fixation on a car. I've got fixations, 
too. Who doesn't” I took a deep breath. 
“Hank, how badly do you want this 
boat. anyway?" 

He didu't answer 

“Tim serious Tell me exactly what it 
would mean to you” 

Toom i 

“That's ri 

Mis hands ripped the sering wheel 
You could see that he wasn't really con- 
Tidetnr the question. t was on much 


that you coulé keep it in 
garage and work on i whenever 
icd to and shine it uy 


1 gave the knife š twist 
whenever you got the urge. 
Maybe early in the morning..." Tre 


membered how Hank liked hve o'clock. 
out and really wind 
ve of the new bombs, 
along, and then kt him sec 
what you have” 
Sep it" 
"Or tool it downtown amd par 
just to let everybody have a look.” 
"Dave, goddamn it, shut up. 1 want 
that more than anything ele in the 
world. I told you, didn't 1” 
“More than anything else?” 
ae 
“That's all I wanted to know.” T said, 
1 left hin siting in the car. 


T had a rough time with the Joan, but. 


there are ways. People like Hank don't 
know that. If Td asked for five hundred 
they have towed me, out on Wy ear; 
getting eight thousand was a dilferent 
Stony 

Once 1 knew it was set up 1 called 
Ruth and told her to be patient, every- 
thing was going to be all righ: When 
she told me that nothing had changed, 
Tee her know she was wrong Things 
would be changing very soon. 

Tt was pretty ose to perfect, 

Td boy the car while Hank was at 
work. Then Fd drive it over and catch 

le broke for lunch. 

the wheel for a few blocs t 
feel of àt. Sink the hook ood an 

hen make him the dei 


Let him take 
t the 
deep. 


Oh. yes. It would work, too: 1 knew 
that. Jt would work. Οἱ cowne, he'd 
come to his senses eventually, but then 
itd be too late. Ruth and I would be 
long ago and far away 

‘The money came from the bank last 
Monday, week ago. Pd been giving 
Rath a good stall and managed to keep 
her quiet, so 1 know that conditions 
were ripe 

1 was at Springfield's when they 
‘opened. The salesman, a short man with 
a mustache and an accent, just about 
fainted when he saw he had a live one- 
"The Duesenberg? Oh, yes, sit a peru- 
ine classic, indeed. Tyrone Power has 
fone quite a bit like it, you know. but 
not in anything like this condition. The 
Engines been completely overhauled, 
only five hundred miles on it, and those 
arc all new tres. New paint — the ori- 
Binal color, by the way . .- 

1 offered him six grand, and he gob- 
bled it up. Then he told me how to 
work the gears, and 1 had to listen to a 
Story about the Duesenberg Owners 
Club and what rare taste 1 had and all 
Tike that 

While he spieled, 1 glanced over at 
the car. The paint glistened, because of 
the sun; it was a rich, dark blue. T 
hadn't actually se thin 
and you had to admit it was a hinds 
job. Every part of it seemed to be made 
οί cast iron. There was a lot o! chrome, 
but somehow it managed to look good, 
Tor once, not gaudy and useless, 

1 thought of Hank, suddenly, of his 
sneaking around at night, peeping at 
the Git, worrying over it seared that 
someone might hurt it, He really must 
love the old heap. Maybe I'm not kid. 
ding myself alter all, I thought. maybe 1 
m doing him a favor! 

Finally I was permitted to get in and. 
start it up. Jt Caught right away. The 
engine began to pulse smoothly but with 
a power you could feel. The salesman 
as smiling, "Be very careful," he sid. 
“You'se got a thoroughbred under you. 

T waved at him and put 
touched the accelerator pedal 


like a mad 
you're like a 


“See what T mean?” the salesman said. 
1 nodded, and took οἵ more caw 

ing for years, but 
now Y ver again, trying to 
Keep the whole works from running 
away with me. 

‘When I finally got it out on the high- 
way, just for fun 1 fed it a litle more 

The engine took on a dillerent 
there was a surge, and Í saw b 
lometer that Í was traveling al 
ayer esent! Te wold you pny tat 
ou had a long way to go belore you 
Mrained this by. n 

Poor old Hank, 1 thought: God, he's 
in love with it and he haut even drien 
i yet. Just wait he gets behind Ὁ 

‘Out toward th valley a couple of 
hor-rods got smart. Cut down Fords, 1 
think they were. They tooted and roared 
past, dribbling exhaust. I floored. the 

ucsenleng, and, believe me, before I 
even started thinking about third those 

were out of sight behind me. 

lt way a hell of a feeling. 

Td phuned, of coune, to take the 
car over to Hank's office that afternoon. 
Tt was all rehearsed and ready to go. 

Bot 1 was miles away, headed for open 
highway. The salesman had said some. 
thing about suspension, and I wanted 
to try a few cufves— nothing fancy or 
anything. And besides, that evening 
‘would da just ax well. There wasn't any 
Tush about it. Just a few curves and a 
Straight run, to see how the old bus be- 
haved. 

"That was a week ago. Since then "νε 
taken the Duesie over the ridge route, 
along Highway One — you know what 
that Ë — and into Beverly Hills for kicks. 
Parked it across from Romanolfs where 
the boy in their new Detroit tubs could 
Wet a nice long look. And then over 
to the Derby and wasn't that fine, 
though. 1 mean, Pd spent a couple of 
hours getting it all shined up, and 1 felt 
like a damn king there, a regular damn 
king. 

Hank's probably going crazy — went 
hack ard told the sleman mot to give 
‘out amy information — but then, hell 
have it for a long time to come, won't 


Meanwhile, | figure why not enjoy it 
a little, It really is a work of art. You're 
Always discovering. strange new things 
about it, hidden compartments, extra 
Switches and levers and buttons. God 
Knows what they're all for. ls for sure 
they're for something, though. Thats 
the kind of a car itis 

TH probably turn it over to Hank 
tome time next week, belore 
beserk, and then Ruth and T wi 
up where we left off. 

But frst 1 would like to see if the 
Duesic actually docs an honest hundred 
and thirty mph. 

1 wouldn't be a bit surprised i 

1 mean, ics a hell of a car. 


it did. 


MAGIC LADY (continued from page 11) 


Kor ea aoa s 
cuperem 
ECC ATIS 
ye eee) 
λα 
TA η 
ας 
— er ο Ere 
ο πας 
παω ας 
τορος 
etie equ 
κε ο 
alien T 
pe ee κας 
eerte ees 
Pc E 
σα 
Code ee 
cu one 
Kosten AN 
Ecc Rees 
μενος 
re md 
BE Tr eed pem τς 
[eee eee 
ridi e 
ο 
cc 
pee ἂν 
ος ας 
Ne a μα 
pec 
Τις 
uo ασια. 
τ... σας 


RSMVTZAS 


PreLePNeRA 


οι refuses to “get around" to exploit 
her talent. Her engagement at the By- 
linc Room was in its sixth remarkably 
tunpubliciaed year when the place 
bumed. Her previous New York ap- 
pearance was in its seventh year when 
the club closed because the building was 
being orn down. It takes some great 
calamity like these to transfer Mercer to 
Σ new setting, but her devoted following 
Would doubties tag along to Tam 
Yika, or even Texas, justto hear Mabel’ 
ognifeent vocal artistry, 

“he single exception to he rule about 
staying in te sane place gives some idea 
Ge devotion o the cult that worships 
Mabe, This writer brought her to Chi- 
ago last year for a single evening ap- 
pearance a ὡς Blue Angel. She packed 
That night club with over eight hundred 
turned away at the door. This, mind 
you, in are where she ad never ap 
peated before, on a Sunday. normally 
the deadest night in the night club weck, 
and with an admision charge of $54 
No fanny-hat comics, no chorus line, no 
party geegaws Just Mabel. She came as 
2 favor to a friend and left a score of 
‘lub owners weeping because she would 
consider nothing. so commercial as am 
Extended return engagement. 

‘Mabel Mercer was bom in Stafford- 
shire, England, the product of a thor. 
oughly theatrical Family. After seasoning 
in English musical comedies, she took up 
residence in Paris and developed the 
Intimate, interpretive style for which 

(concluded on page 60) 


“P,L, X, δ, F, Y.” 


47 


» 
° 
a 
x 
κ 
5 
A 


GOURMET GIFTS (continued from pose 21) 


of Dixie. Does the girl of your 
Gub with longing of her trip 
ast summer to Italy? You needn't send 
her Florentine jewelry. Give her a bas 
ket of Talian delicacies — red wine vine- 
far, olives condite, imported Bel Paese 
Cheese — fonds that d, Wn 
salary and that invariably go over like 
a milion dollars. 

For the young charmer living on a 
budget in a few small rooms, you must 
exércie the same common sense in plan- 
ning a gilt. Suppose she likes ham. You 
tom go all out and send her a 16 pound 
genuine razorback ham, which, of course, 
is heavenly eating. But its the kind of 
ham that requires 48 hours soaking and. 
8 hours simmering. The poor giri can 
Hardly ἯΙ the ham, let alone serob it 

hen find a pot large enough in 

i hifully and send her a small 
qr mediam se tin of imported Danish 
lam. You might even garnish the gilt 
with a small crock οἳ French Dijon ri 
tard. For the prol. on the ether hand, 
who is guiding you through the tort 
pus path to à Ph.D., the large razorback 
ham might be a welcome donation. 

In choosing gourmet foods for Christ- 
mas gilts, especial warning should be 
sounded ayainst the inlluence of the 
Norm school. They are an esoteric crowd 
who praise food for its mere difference 
and not for its different kind of good. 

They are called the worn school 
Mir greatest current 


because 


however, are wel 
buried in supremi 
“even exon 
Keep as far away from the wonn 
schools pots 


sive grace 
ies, In recent year 


Mores oll delicacies has 
increased Mail Order 
houses, € cropped up all over 


anything from 
€ shell to alligator 


In spite of the fabulous awertment of 
rare Vids, it's will hard to beat some 
Of the traditional gifts like the fruit 
hamper, the bumper food basket or 
even the clic holiday fruit cake with 
brandy. Food baskets range anywhere 
from a few dollars to S100, the latter 
One of the luxury basker pat up by 
H. Hicks & Son in New York City, Such 
baskets may be a dealer's assortment of 
fresh fruits, brandied fruits in jas can- 
dies and nuts. Or you might make your 


own choice of stunning foods from the 
shelves of such stores as Š. δ. Pierce fe 
Co. in Baton, Marshall Field in Chi 
‘ago or the magnificent Bon Voye 
Sop of Charles E Co. m New York Ci 
For those who like fresh fruit without 
extraneous tousle tops, shipped [rom 
their native habitat, Cobbs Fruit and 
Preserving Co. Little River, Fla., pack 
boxes of mixed oranges, grapefruit, tan- 
erines, kumquats and limes εν well as 
Citrus jellies, conserves and marmalades, 
Boxes range in price from $450 to 
about $2200. The magnificent Royal 
Riviera pears are packed by Harry k 
David, Bear Creek, Oregon, the hmm 
which alo sponsors the Fruit of the 
Month Club. Despite the obvious gags 
inspired by this title, the dub is OK 

Continental cake fanciers will find a 
ΠΟ the Au Gourmet wiall 
habas with rum, selling for about $150. 
(Incidentally, all prices lised may 
change from place to place, depending 
on shipping changes local coss, etc 
Several Brads οἱ tps suscite Pa 

^ Lpoumd tins, and requiring only 
Beating Tor serving sell iom 5830 uj 
$5.00. And let us not by pass the delight- 
fol Martha Ann white or dark [ruit 
takes and the famous Gurney House 
ruit cake. In most stores, fruit cakes 
range from pound boxes for about 
S150 to pound cakes for approxi 
mately 510.00 for top quality. Vacuum 
packed cakes should be opened just be- 
fore slicing. Along with your gilt card, 
ou might send a P.S. indicating that 
lover fruit cake should be tightly 
wrapped ín a piece of cheese cloth or 
other cloth soaked in brandy or in 
sherry. The unused portion should be 
returned to the tin and the tin tightly 
lowed to prevent excessive drying. 

Especially convenient at Chrismas 
tide ate the Cresa gift boxes, cllec- 
tions of connoisseurs’ foods, ranging in 
price from $1.10 for an asorunent of 
jellies to $1825 for a gilt box comain- 
ing 15 imported delicacies. There is for 
instance, a bartenders group of fresh 
lemon. slices in syrup, fresh lime slices 
in syrup and maraschino cherries for 
S20, The Toast is a cocktail party pack- 
κο retailing for $5.00 and comalning 


maraschino cherries, stuffed. olives, red 
caviar, anchovies, "purée of shrimp, 
smoked o 


ers, páté de foje, tuna spread 
il bicis Some οἱ he Croda 
Taster boxes are asembled on à ma- 
tional basis. Thus the Scandinavian 
Taser contains (among other thing) 
Danish black currant and μὲ : 
serves Danish eed cucumber sula, 
Norwegian crabmeat spread and salmon 
paste. The French Taster includes such 
items as pité de foie gras. Dijon mus 
tard, shallot, vinegar, French clive oil 
and seven other Gallic gourmet mones, 
selling fot $15.00 

For girls who like smoked meat, par- 
ticularly the pretty cpicores who ap 
ciate smoked turkey, a delightful collec 
tion of viands is offered by Fors, Route 
394, Kingston, New York. Their Pak-O- 
Six, selling tor $650, includes the fol- 


lowing: sliced smoked turkey, cuts of 
sacked turkey, smoked turkey påté, 
finger size franks, smoked pork ssusuges; 
and smoked turkey sausages. 

If you'd rather compile your own ax 
torment of gift foods, there's a limites 
field from which to choose. ΤΑΥΡΟΥ, 
however, has a fev principal raves to cite 
for this years holiday semon. 

Among appetizers, the glue packed 
French rolled anchovies are à delecta- 
Be item. The Pali Ilian Carlin, 
fancy design jar ‘of hors d'oeuvres 
weighing $5 dunes veli for abut 
5525. Italian Gounce jars of antipasto, 
which are served directly from the jar, 
sell for around $125, Caviar noi 
seuns can have their pick of fuh eggs, 
ranging fom the ounce jars of red 
salmon caviar at about 50 cents each to 


the fresh Beluga caviar, selling in the 
geishterhond of $80 to $85 a pound 
For holiday giving, there is the 

of jewel box containing two Lounce 


jars of green seal caviar at $750 and 
the same box containing two Zounce 
jars of Beluga private stock caviar for 
$10.50, Bendiksen's smoked oysters from 
the west coast, packed in Sy ounce jars, 
sell for about 75 cents, Smoked Holland 
mussels in a Goune tin retail for about 
70 cents, 

Hf you like liver pâté and there is a 
good French restaurant im your ci, 
FLAYHOY suggests that you consult the 
chef of such a restaurant and see if 
you can buy a jar of homemade pité. 
Most French chefs are proud of their 
ip pité and ας happy to make up a 
hall pound or a pound as a gilt. If nec. 
εκατ, buy your own small casserole or 
jar in which to put the pate, Most of 
the home made patés are made of 
chicken liver or pork liver or a combi- 
nation of both. They are called paté de 
foic, and, unies hermetically sealed, 
must be kept under refrigeration and 
must be used within a limited time, 

Imported paté de foie gras is made of 
ome liver, The beat comes from Stewe 
Bourg. and is put up in terrines with 
rifles. The terrines do not require re- 
lrigeration. Prices range from about 
$8.00 for a Bounce crock to $2500 for 
^ SLounc crock. Like fresh Beluga 
aviar, imported pité de (οἷς gras is the 
very top of giltedge food giving 

For superfine Scandinavian ating, 
there is a tremendous array of smorgas- 
bord monels, including cod roc spread, 
herring bits in dill, wine and mustard 
sce, filets of mackerel and 
smoked salmon. Mf you make u 
assortment, find out if the food requires 
refrigeration. I it docs, rush the package 
from the shop to your idol's icebox, 

Sea food fanciers will find canned 
Jobster outstandingly successful. The 
Crea curried lobster and the Bon 
Vivant lobster a la Newburg are recom- 
mended. Both of these products can be 
enhanced by adding a small amount of 
sherry and sweet cream when they are 
heated for serving. 

Among meats, the elect for Christmas 
giving seems to be ham. For good living, 

's hard to imagine a better gift than 

(concluded on page 59) 


EI 
BE 
BE 
ἘΞ 
E 
εξ 
EE 
ES 
Š 
ii 


Ribald Classic 


9 

0002 oscooo oo 9. 
CIL 
Poo oe ο 


[m 


THE SPICE OF LIFE 


One of the most sophisticated tales of the French storyteller, Guy de Maupassant 


πο wadtact, Paul and Henrietta 
had loved each other chastely in the 
starlight. 

‘Ab fist there was a charming necting 
‘on the shore of the ocean. He found her 
delicious, the rosy young girl who passed 
him with her bright umbrellas and fresh 
costumes on the marine background. He 
loved this blonde fragile creature in her 
setting of blue waves and immense skies 
And he confused the tenderness which 
this innocent girl caused to be born in 


loved him because he paid her 
because he was young and 
» genteel and delicate. She 
ed him because it is natural for 
ladies to love young men who 


for three months they lived side 
eye to eye and hand to has 

"The greeting which they exchanged in 
the morning before the bath, im (he 
freshness of the new day, and the adieu 
οἳ the evening upon the sand under the 
Mar, in the warinth of the calm night, 
murmured low and still lower, had ak 


ILLUSTRATED BY LEON BELLIN 


ready the taste of kisses, although their 
Tips Pad never met 

"They dreamed of each other as soon 
a» they were asleep. thought cf cach 
‘ther as won as they awoke and, with- 
out yet sying s, called for and desired 
ach other with their whole soul and 
body. 

After marriage they adored each other 
above everything on earth. Te was at fist 
3 Kind of sensual. indefatigable rage, 
then an exalted tenderness made οἱ 
Caress already refined and of inven- 
tions both genteel and ungenteel. All 
their looks signified lasciviowsnes, and 
all their gestures recalled to them the 


weary of one another. They loved ead 
‘ther. it is true, but there was nothing 
reveal, nothing more to do that 
often been done, nothing more 
to kam from each other, not even a 
new word of love, an unforeseen motion 
or a intonation, which sometimes is 
more expresive than a known word too 
often repeated. 
They forced themselves, however, to 


“I want everyone to think I am your mistress," she said. 


relight the lame, enfeclad from he 
ed embraces The haven sone new 
Sel tender rüber ech ay; ee d. 
oce ατα 
pt to toes τα hei hears the un 
prisci ardor ofthe fine days and 
iii veies the Ean of te opea 
pts 
Tien Une Ὁ dne bj πας op 
ei desire, ey aga fond an hr e 
faciens excimer whikh was ὅπως. 
tity fore by a QRappotntiig ls 
"They tried moonlight wall under the 
Ίωνα fn the sweet οἱ the nigh he 
asy οἳ the cie bathed in nis, the 
Sien of public fest 
Then onc morning Henrietta eid 10 


“Will you take me to dine at an inn?" 


yes, if you wish- 
In a very well-known inn?" 
“Certainly.” 

He looked at wih 


his eye, understanding well that sl 
something in mind which she had not 
‘She continued: “You know, an inn 
(continued on next page) 


s 


PLAYBOY 


— how shall E explain it — in a sophis- 
ticated inn, where people make appoint- 
moms meet eack other?” r 

He smiled. “Yes. | understand, a pri 
vate room in a large café?” 

“hat is it. But in a large calé where 
you are known, where you have already 
taken supper no, dinner — that is — 1 
mean — Í want — no, I do not dare say 
iw” 


eak out, chérie; between us what 


$ We have no secrets from 


"No, I dare not” 

ΟΝΕ Come, now! Don't be coy. Say 
in” 

“Well — 1 wish — I wish to be taken 
for your mistress — I wish the waiters, 
who do not know that you are married; 
may look upon me as your mistress, and. 
you, too — that for an hour you believe 
me your mistress in that very place 
where you have remembrances 6f— 
That's all! 1 myself will believe that T 

Ἂς vant to commit a 
—to deceive you — with your 
WI there, have sid à Tl very bad, 
but that is what 1 want to do. 

He laughed. very mc amused, and 
respondes 

MI right, we will go this evening to 
a very chic place where 1 am known." 


Jt was almost seven o'clock when they 
mounted the staircase of a large café on. 
the boulevard, he smiling, with the air 
of a conqueror, she timid, 
delighted. When they were in 
room furnished with four armchairs and 
= lange sofa covered with red velvet, the 
steward, in black clothes, entered and 
present the bill o fare, Paul posed it 

“Ν 


do you wish to eat?" he said. 
don't know; what do they have that 
is gond here?" 

Fallow me to order," he smiled: and 
turning to the waiter, he said: 

"Serve this menu: Bisque soup, dev- 
ited chicken, sides of hare; duck, Ameri- 
tan syle, vegetable salad and dessert 
We will drink champagne — very dry.” 

"The steward siniled and looked at the 
jn lady, He tok the card, munnur: 
ng: "Thank you, Monsieur Paul.” 

Henrietta was happy to find that this 
man knew her husband's name, They sat 
down side by side upon the sola and 
Degar: to eat 

Ἡ candles lighted the room, re- 
ficcted in a reat mirror, mutilated b 
the thousands of names traced on R 
with a diamond, making on the clear 
crystal a kind οἱ huge cobweb. 

iea drank glass after glas to 
animare her, although she felt giddy 
{rom the first one. Paul, excited by cer. 
tain memories, Kissed his wife's hand 
repeatedly. Her eyes were brilliant. 

She felt strangely. moved by this sus- 
pists station she was exited and 

apr. although se fel itle wicked. 
Two grave waiters, who never spoke, 
acute o seingererything” and 
Torgetting all, entered only when it was 
necey, going and coming quickly and 
softly 

Toward the middle of the dinner 


Henrieta was drunk, charmingly drunk, 
and in his gaiety, pressed 
ince with his hand She praed now, 
boldly, her cheeks red, her look lively 
and diny. 

"Oh. come, Paul" she said, “confes 
now, won't you? 1 want to know all” 
chérie?” 


‘Have you had mistreses—many of 
them — before me?" 

He hesitated, a little perplexed, not. 
knowing whether he ought to conceal 
his good fortunes or boast of them. 


she continued: “OM ἡ toy you um 
ο dE 

“Why, some.” 

or ser 

E ee emet 


such things” 
7You did not count them?" 
“OF course not!” 

Then you have had very many?" 


you suppose?—some- 


"E don't know at all, my dear. Some 
years Lhad many, and some year only 

“How many a year, would you say?" 

“Sometimes twenty or thirty, some- 
times cnly four or five. 

"Oh! That makes more than a hun- 
dred women in all" 

“Yes, something like that.” 

ing 


“Because it is disgusting — when one 

thinks of all those women — naked — 

and always — always the same thing. Oh! 

Jis truly disgusting — more than a hun- 
ed women! 

He was shocked that she thought it 
disgusting and responded with that su- 
perior air which men assume to make 
women understand that they have said 
something foolis 


curious! If it b disgust. 
ing to have a hundred women, it is 
equally disgusting to have one” 

“Oh no, not at alll” 


intrigue, there is lov 
dred women there is only le 
cannot understand how a man can med- 
dle with all those girls who are so 
filthy.” 


Filthy? They are immaculate.” 
“What? In a trade like that?" 
tis because of their trade that they 
are immaculate 
Ridiculous! When ene his οἱ the 
nights they paw with otherst lt is 
ignobier P” 
“Tt is no more ignoble than drinking 
from a glass from which 1 know not 


‘who drank this morning, and that has 
been —er—less thoroughly washed —1 
assure you." 

“Oh, be still; you are revolting." 


“But why ask me then if hae had 
mistress” 

For a moment there was silence. Then. 
Henrietta said: 

“Tellme, were your mistresses all 


young girls, all of them—the whole 
hundred?" 

“Why, no — no. Some were actresses 
—some little working girls— and some 
ere, dat is to my women of the 

“How many of them were women of 

world?” 


»nly six" 
Yal 

“Were they pretty?" 

“Yes, of coune. 

freier don the young μή” 

“Which do you prefer, young girls or 
women of the world? 

“Women of the world: 

“Oh, how depraved! Why 

“Because 1 do not care much for ama: 
teur talent” 

“Ohl You are abominable, do you 
now that? But tell me, js it very amur 
ing to paw (rom one to another like 
was P^ 

“γος rather.” 

noe 

“Very.” 

‘What is there amusing about it? Is 
it because they do not resemble each 
other?” 

71 suppose.” 

“ARI The women do not resemble 
cach. other" 

'Not at all" 

Tn nothing?” 

Ta naling 

“That is strange! In what respect do 
diffe 


“In the whole body?" 

“Yes, in the whole body.” 

“And in what else?” 

in the manner of — embrací 

οἱ speaking, of doing the least thi 
And it is very amusing, 


A pensive glaze cune over her eyes, 
and in a moment she said, with a voice 
that seemed to come from lar away: 

“And are men diflerent too?” 

“That 1 do not know.” 

‘You do not know?" 

Νο. 

hey must be different.” 
“Perhaps.” 

She remained pensive, her glass of 
champagne in her hand, It was full, and 
she drank it all at once without stop- 
ping for a breath. Her eyes were bright. 

When the waiter again appeared, 
bringing in the fruits for the dessert, 
she was holding another plassful be: 
tween her fingers. Looking to the bot 
tom of the yellow, transparent liquid, as 
if to sce there things unknown, she mur- 
mured with a thoughtful voice: 

“Different , .. in every 
over a hundred .... yes 1 thi, 
stand perfectly now . . ” 

Paul felt strangely uncomfortable το 
see the enigmatic wnile upon her lips. 


lunde- 


“Just a moment, Miss Gifford — I'd like to look at that 
chapter on employee relations again!” 


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tinued from page 38) 


ing, her breast rising and falling faster, 
faster, faster, the ait going in and out, 
in and out her nostrils, a litle trickle 
of blood coming from her clenched lips 
Her eyes were very wide, her hands 
blindly const e bedclothes, 
`Eh?” he said again behind the door. 
She said nothing. 
7" he talked to himself. “Pretty 
he murmured, under the fow 
οἱ faucet water. He rinsed his mouth, 
“Sure,” he said. 
Nothing from her in the bed. 
“Women are funny," he said to him- 
self in the mirror. 
She lay in the bed. 
He gargled with some 
tic, spat it down the d 
be all right in the morning; 
Not a word from her. 


now, pute 


freshener on his face. "And the car 


fixed tomorrow, maybe, at the very lat 
est the next day. You won't mind an- 
other night here, will you?” 

She didn't answer, 

“Will you?” he asked. 

No reply. 

The light blinked out under the bath 


up and down. 
“Asleep,” he said. "Well, goodnight, 
hay” 
He climbed into his bed. “Tired,” he 


ng already 

She lay, eyes wide, the watch ti 
on her wrist, breasts moving up and 
down. 


Jt was a fine day coming through the 
Tropic of Cancer, Thé automobi 


pus along the turning road enin 
the United States, roaring ben 
fren ls aking ever) tum ting 

3 faint vanishing trail οἱ exhaust 
smoke, And imide the shiny automobile 
Sst Joseph with his pink, health) face 
and his Panama hat. and a lile camera 
Candied on his lap as he drove, a mathe 
of black silk pinned around dhe eft up- 
Per arm of his tan cont He watched the 
C unuy slide by and abentamindeily 
made à gesture to the seat beside him 
and mopped. He broke into a Wile 

nile and turned once more to 


tle tuneless tune, his right hand reach- 
y over amd touching the seat beside 

him. 

Which was empty. 


"I'm afraid you don't 
delay the proceedings in this paternity suit for a few months 
I'm just meeting the defendant tonight." 


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MANHOOD 

(continued from page 19) 
ill wot, jut as well providing it 8 
Just a trifle over your father's head 

"Tita the whole thing asa tater of 
intellectual curiosity. Leers nudges and 
[piace may be fa bur they Sil mot 
create a healthy attitude on the part 
aE jour parem 

You may discover, oo, that a little 
leur information i hepiul to parents, 
Though Wy poses 2 cera rough 
and rady competence, many para 
thew veri nore of ος Mo e 

Mr» youn (λινκ rcu 

Jt may shock you to detect in your 
germ partots real lark of moral are 
Though at fit you may think that this 
will have small effect on you, you will 
Te mataken. Most parental πιάίαττα. 
a reat of thet icing tit you are 
ology vo do the se this at 
fey aia. 

Male i clear to them very early that 
your απών, are Dr Hig’ than 
theirs. 

Yos WII be nagbed at ihe recdom 
this wil allow you 

KB best tt your ries 
lih a general αὐταῖς, 

ιν wasn't i father, that in 
your diy Doni were, well, a ti 
ἂν ὡς deny sa 

"Well now, Davi, 1—7 

“Oh don't blame you: You were 
all swept along on a tide of joie de 
bare. [te very unentamiailie is 
ka Py dough? 

(ne mure di all tines to adopt a. 
tolerant πε κάν 

ο shore creo 
tian μας on a high meo lane εις 
Tx wil follow cadi 

Rew Devic L yaa pou to bein 

p 

“Ten glad you brought Vat u 
morter. Τη io hint to Marlene that 

Vane io pip eariy, Dosa xem 

perdete eei 

You may then say out as late sa you 
Ίνα, Be sure to opa fimly 1o jour 
moher bere die. seat mmi] 15 
[πη 

"Mother, 1 don't think you made 
i very car vo Marlene Not dar 
aal. Coulam. break away. until 
ree” 
“Tim sony. Davie, 1 tid to — 
“There, dert Just uy todo bet 
ter next time, won't you?" 

Your parents may cum to worry a bit 

about you. This will be a healthy sign. 
Charles, Tim worned about Dae 

vid. He's such a serious boy. Don't 

you think he should have a little 

more fun?" 

"Well he hasnt been in before 
rec ali week 

"1 know, but it isn't as though 
be ret ante to 

Ἂν long ox your parents maintain this 
anne Fou WI EE sure ta dene x not. 
mal, Healthy boyhood. 

Keep your wandoris high and you 
wile Foret ie 


[BEWARE OF GROWING omus 

Giris, you will discover, grow more 
rapidly than you. There is a period dur- 
ing which their litle bodics expand and 
flower at a rate that far outstrips their 
mental growth. 

Te is your duty—and every young 

in's — io guide them through this pe- 
riod of iule sense but much feeling, 

At this tage particularly you will fd 
that not all girls breathe the same bric- 
ing moral atmosphere that you do. Your 
mision is to make it clear to them that 
your own rugged good looks and bon 
vivant manner are not signposts of easy 
Virtue nor invitations to loose living, 

Yours should be che steady voice, the 
firm guiding hand. 

“David, where are you taking 
me 
"Tm afraid for you here, Peggy. 

“This musk, bes | ou 

men embracing in pul 

hie stm" P 

“It’s only a dance, Davie.” 


down. 


"But Davie —" 

"Comly? Now, we need to talk 
this out Pity your mother isn't 
here, 100." 


snovi» 1 rrr? 

‘Maintain control of yourself at all 
times. Don't be stampeded into unre- 
strained demonstrations of affection. 
You will regret it later. Keep everything 
on a high plane. 

τι 
here long enough, Davie?" 

“One more thing, darling, Take 

ting, Inexcusable, Let me dem. 
estrate. A Mis should be oered 
simply, with humility, like this — 

“Ohhhhh, Davie!” 

“Please, Vin only illustrating, Try 
to control. yourself. Now it should 
not be forced, like this —" 

‘Davie! Nobody has ever —" 

Š auld hope mot. Please tell 
me if they dot Now perhaps we 
od view that point" ο 

Fry to remember at all times that 

your purpose is instruction. You ate not 
secking to amuse, and certainly not to. 
arouse primitive emotions that might 
fan quickly into a llame. 

MOULD 1 co smyabv? 

‘Those who have studied the above 
paragraph scarcely need to be told that 
the answer to this question is a thump- 
ing "Nol" 

All around you young girls are grow- 
ing, their youthful bodies far oust 
Ping youthful minds, With passions all 
too often ripe, you are needed most, and 
often at widely scattered points. 

Tt is only the selfish young man who 
fails to bring his torch, «o to speak, into 
all the dark corners, lighting the way 
to finer, better lives. 

Be generous with your time. You may 
be criticized by the very people you are 
trying to help, but steer your course 
forward, clearing up little misunder 


standings as they arise. 
"But Davie, I saw you with her” 
“OF course you did. Marian. And 
m glad. The three of us should 
ger together for a long talk. Betty's 
sweet, but terribly confused. Can't 
seem to set her right by mysell.” 


? 1 feel sorry for her, 


wie, I don't feel sorry for hert 

Maybe a straigli-laced boy like you 

kine notice, but it those are 
Tdoubt—" 


ase, Betty 
Xl that new convertible which 


is practically her own personal 
property, and 
"Mhe really very tragic under 


meath. A ile girl who's been hurt 
Perhaps one day the three of us — 
Be s tuthial a you can, but a Tittle 
wine ie now and then may be nete» 
Ty. for her suke. Remember ihat x 
jealous giri i not a happy girl. and 
Tippy giis make for happy boys 
— 
Take advantage of these golden years 
for they vill sip by all to soon. Then 
you wil bid a sad farewell to carefree 
Jot and enter inta manhood 
Have courage. Others have gone be 
You. You have only to fellow in 
Too 
“wewawa OF Hast EARRING” 


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(continued from page 48) 


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uly happens to. like 


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MAGIC LADY 

(continued from page 47) 
she’s known today. Mercer became the 
attraction at the Paris club operaced by 
the fabulous American, Bricktop. Her 
decision to come to the US. in 1938 
ended a typical long run of over ten 
years, a run that added a wealth of 
French goodies to her repertoire. 

Though most of her fans have becor 


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Available on the Atlantic label are four 


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μιας, The contention of many 
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precited- was blasted by ihe ovcrvicim 
ng suecs of these recordings 
À remarkable tribute was pad to 
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ferent fcd of music Gian Carlo Menot 
the operatic composer, guaranteed 
Mabel a measure of immortality by mak 
ing a Mercer recording an essential prop 
for his opera, The Cons. Her wo 
fal voit gives vent to a light French 
ballad trom ofatage at the opening of 
Aet]. No matter wherein the work: The 
Consul is performed. Mabel Mercer iin 
icc always im the cat This peculiar 
Sore of ubiquity gives rise to lem from 
Fane saying things lite, “Heard του at 
La Saal last night You were wonderful" 
But let aol tiger with a lot of taste 
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prabe. Dave Garroway, who intreduced 
KI Vaughan to the public and s well 
Known for is lee asication with jam 
says it lke this: "Mabel Is the greatest 
Storyteller in the business today. The old. 
ld story becomes fresh and alive night 
Sher night. amd fires the young part ot 
sch old heart. Not to have heard Mabel 
to be a little poor 
We cant top that 


LADY'S HONOR 
(continued from page 40) 
have your permision? 

"οἱ toune, Geolitey. And hark you 
so much. 

The excitement over, 1 turned my at 
tention to the starlet, but she was in. 
tintriously snoring under the piano 
The party broke up rapidly. 1 Helped 
culo dump the tneorsc 
of her gests into ca thn diim 
the projector while she kicked εἴ her 
"oct and sank into the sofa with great 
E 

"Yon look frustrated or something: 

e observed. 

Twas making time with the rehea 


E 


until she passed out” 


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Never mind,” she yawned. "Come 
help me with this damned zipper and 
ie te som tenen ο 
“Geofirey was certainly magnificent" 
nenicd as Ú did her bidding. "A 
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p. be lathes ucl" 


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T agreed, But 1 must say, in al 
ας τα Cwendo, that her account of it 
op for the Alas abrupt 
the rel head 

my mind. 


NUDIST WEDDING 
cantitnel from papa 18), 
ibt have that trouble, [or he Bad no 
EU 
T ues mais don't even Believe in 
ΓΕ pite 
eter 
(The Rev. Homer — siring up the situr 
ation slipped. the ting part οἵ ὡς 
ες ere 
iom abled he. bride around. thc 
T and Med her παν. Liting š 
Te Lined Ber meo more times Then 
Jobs Carrio, he best man and own 
Ue camp. Howe her 
o we ho get to Mie the brider 
soit?" zd one of the photographers 
σι exits Woe: 
"Rb uad Tsciyn 
"Were fou nenow I asked de 
Who, ar ὡς ceremony and 
vetmetakinge quic put Wer 
rowel back on and drew i tghdy 
Mow ber 
Nnna” she shivered, “but 1 was 
almost Fico” 
Spes we mde hack down 
Mire wed lad aur pre 
din dimer. The newlywed arrived, 
the bride perked οἳ her cont. and thy 
ie The Rev. Homer 
SE or x kong time at 5 table writing 
the marriage certificates 
There was ἂν champagne- _ h 
light mon izoholic punch for nudius 
ay are very Careful about pro 
SE schol on thet. premit 
Ted been arranged for my wile ad 1 
so Hide bud το Denver with tne Rev 
Flower and hie wife vo we all ng ont 
2 cheery goodbye to the eyed who. 
πατε uli ning wedding cake and who 
Tene extreme happy, 
μμ was over 
the dey coded URE © many belare 
the Kucha pot on ther panes and went 


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new fiction by ERSKINE CALDWELL 
τα hilarious five page cartoon spread 
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Chai Molino Pri ia. 


“Aunt Pauline was famous too. She was Mademoiselle 
Corsica of 1800, the first lady of Haiti, Princess Borghese, 
Duchess of Guastella, and the most upstanding model 
between Gracie Godiva and plunging panels. After 
Canova sculpted her as Venus on The Rocks, 

Madame Sans Géne always referred to her as Madame 
Sans-Culotte. When Prince Talleyrand asked her if 

it didn’t embarrass her to pose that way, al he aid, Main 
non! The room ie always heated! She didn’t 

that ‘Clothes Make The Mant and "Sprindftied Sheets 
The Bel: Bet I do sud venerar I gata tbe 
Ew ity, I always take along my best Springcale 
Sheets. You know, Uncle Charlie was King of Rome, ' 
so when in Rome I have to outdo the Romans.” 


Her American friends resented the ribald song 
about her in a Broadway hit, but the Princess 
laughed and exclaimed, "What kettle calle my pot 
Block? A bas les Ropublicains!" International society 
juch a wide path to hes RC 


"The House of All 
yid prm elab 
orsta impedimenta. 1 tock 

Style to shame and to rout his enemies, which 
caused Lady ae to complain the night 
elore Waterloo that the Duke had forgotten 
to bring along his Springmaid sheets. 


By peli ow Shali