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PLAYBOY 


PLAYBILL 


working at the гилуу Build 
locks away, putting 


Г ‘of producing a w ls May 
ated and always (we tr 
img publication, another department 


sued with reminding thor. 


y jokes come 
The rich humor that ts t» blue 
who contral Tor any printed page? A Kellow tells vou 
"hot eramos is the а joke some other fellow told him. But 
bo toll that other fellow? And if you 
conl trace the joke all the way back o 
hat would you hnd? Th 
puzzle Richard Matheson 
sete himsel tor solving im his highly 
к un. The Splendid Some 


the. young 
ad mar aan. catus 
We reminded a gre 
Teile amd понеся 
sí completed at the Palmer 


MARY, пох, MARY ANN, ie in Chicago! and hod a lor ol fun And having traced the bows jest hack 
سو جور‎ hn the process. Th Wal ساسا‎ to its beginnings (surely a noble си 
‘of Retail Clothiers and Furnishers halds 


‘ach year. bu this was 
the fs سم‎ as nd, баа Бу converting شا‎ don 
So i the won popu wc m The Shrinking Man, int 
College ¡compases ٨٤ the ووس‎ amd script 

our cloning ата amd merchand Tico موه‎ favorites are here with 


around the al haian for this May issue, 10o: 

leout campus c ls the story ol The 

dresses right lor every occasion.” Hand 1 Judge Price amd Charles 
some window: displays are available for u ollers a sizzling satire of tele 
هاس‎ ond we constructed د‎ are win. Visión in The Monster Show. Cartoonist 


3 
de sober for 
The 2 Амон 


dew ‘our display room to show 

how the material сена be exl. 
TLAVROY promotion manager 

Lownes Ш n 

for the convention 

ing manager Eldon Sellers and € 

and western od managers Filis Me 

and Ralph Bolander o 

to tell Pravnoy s ade 

ising story 


bush thrush Meg N‏ په 
ucholy Dane of Broadway,‏ 


ау about the magic of 
that we neglected to fanfare the 
first of د‎ series of globeiotumg articles 
by our new travel editor, Patrick Chase, 
но mean image-enmeshey himsell. Better 
the woners dae than never der us wow proudly 


Aser rua 


with reaynoy symbol 


d hey prompted Tony Weitz to se pet the fat that for this iur. 
tk in hin nthe Cheasa Daily has whomped up some jewelled 
News, "Re mob at عا‎ knowledgeable prose about the pleasures 
Palmer Howse i glared ly ix او‎ Portugal, and for future issues he will 


dolls Suppned ta be ١ 


portsal call 
This suc also includes an appetizing 
essay on applejwk by Thomas Mario; a 


ead ol а person рање anios on anie 
Nother dla by Frank Cash: a wey Rial Clic 
so well attended — when other rooms [re Е 


really trying by Shepherd Mead; another 
tripleypage, مه للها‎ Playmate: د‎ host اه‎ 


were empty. AROS was filled to 
overflowing On the last af one 


vihe NARCE Patty Jokes a LP ри 
Contention i as next year. Ре amd some poignant prose on the 
1 want to be sure we get the room MY state OF am exbull amd à bald 
icm perme Imm PLAYBOY gain vest umes headed man. AI of which should add 
LEY AND MARY ANN be cid, “We eid real well dus year with abundantly 
yur лено (a Shakespearea 
While all this was going om at the month while enmeshed in all those 


Palmer Howe, سه‎ editorial st was appalling April images.) 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


GODFREY AND HIS FRIENDS 
Imagine my surprise and pleasure in 
tuning in on Arthur Godfrey and his 
Friends the other morning and finding 
from your Party Joke. He 
covered the magazine on a news 
m the way to the studio and spent 
about ten minutes raving, about it on 
and television, Не all but st 
Tarter in e mide of a eng 
"when he shoved your February Play 
او‎ the Month under his nose, Frank took 
опе Took, ulped and uttered, "Don't do. 
that ۱١ mel Tve a weak heart!” Need 
Jess to say, all this was very much a 
لسنهو‎ by the audience. = 
Richard Stealey 
Chicago, Штом 


KENTON AND RUSSO 
Many thanks for the Kenton coverage. 

Bill Ruso, a talented trombonist and 
composerarranger, has added another 
dimension to his versatility: a chronicler 
of the passing jazz scene. Bill's account 
of Stan was one of the finest Ive exer 
read. And the unusual photographs of 
the Kenton Band on the road, taken 
during one of my favorite Kenton years, 
‘were excellent, 
Congratulations to зтлувоу and Bill 
Ruso for a job well done in x tribute 
10 the most exciting influence in modern. 
jus, Stan Kenton. 

Pete Grillin 

WDOD Browleasting Corp. 

Chattanooga, Tennessee 


Good article on Kenton; interesting 
set ol pictures. Suggestion: Drop the 
tiresome Playmate and the stale Party 
Jokes and youll have د‎ damned fine 


magazine, 
Bill Mermer 
Music Director, КАСУ 
College Station, 5. 


Jazz 

T want to thank you for the continually 
excellent, articles you publish on jazz. 
Being د‎ lover of ро o ٨-0 

favorite feature in the magazine, Td 
very much enjoy more articles on dixie- 
land, We dont hear much about the 
‘musicians playing in New Orleans and 
КС. today, And what about more on the 
واا‎ of the music during the carly 
port of the century: the story of Story- 
Sille and the move to the north? T would. 
enjoy seeing more written about such 
{greats as Buddy Bolden, Bunk Johnson, 
Manuel Perez, Jimmy Noone, Buddy 


EJ مر‎ mavsoy MAGAZINE 


Petit, King Oliver, Kid دوه‎ could go 
on for NM =» 
up the good work, men. a 

youll rive الد‎ dhe Ice pany "men 
magazines right out of business 

john Hilgerdt 

Jnivenity of N. C. 

Chapel Hill, N. C. 

Tre mn an ale n New Osean 

Storyville and the bawdy house begim- 
ning of jazz (Red Lights and Hot Music) 
in our August, 1954 issue: PLAYBOY will 
print a piece on the musical more to 
Chicago, where jazz got its mame, later 
this year. 


HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

In our office, the pleasant habit of 
birthday gifts [or everyone prevails. On 
ور‎ birthday, 1 was asked if | preferred 
a botte of whiskey or a sports shirt. My 
answer was “Get me a year's subscrip- 
tion to AYO." 

As an advertising agency account man, 
Tam concerned over your lack of ad: 
vertising. Either your representatives 
aren't doing а good job or advertisers 
don’t appreciate a top notch book. 

Carl B. Friedman 
Samuel Schindler Advertising 
Cincinnati. Ohio 

We appreciate your concern, Carl, but 
it is unwarranted. Short cuts to adver- 
ising revenue have always been вті 
able: we could have hastened the entry 
of many conservative advertisers by 
simply making the magazine lex sophisti- 
ented and we could fill our pages with 
advertising if we were willing to take 
‘everything submitted, уво turns 
down four ads for every one accepted. 

Dy maintaining the highest posible 
editorial and advertising standards, we 
hope to make موند‎ the smartest, 

‘est, most interesting men's magazine. 
in America and the best possible adver- 
ising medium for anyone selling the 
dass male market. It is a somewhat 
longer, but far more satisfying approach. 


MOVABLE MOUNTAINS. 

1 ean really appreciate Jules Archers 
article, Dont Hate Yourself m the 
‚Morning. After spending M years with 
а woman who sull hated herself cach 
morning, 1 called it quits and am now 
(after two happy years) still married to 
One who purrs like a kitten on cream 
and wants to stay in bed in the morning. 
She also buys ravaov for me and gives 
it to me just as soon as she has read it. 
marsoy, 1 mean. 


11 ٤ SUPERIOR ST, CHICAGO 11, шко. 


1 have never taken a firm grip on my 
typewriter amd written to à 6 
before, but something of an emergency 
аз arisen and ١ mus speak up. 1 feel 

the beautiful, God forsaken, wind 
ср. Mood ridden, drought ridd 
frozen оли, fried ont, proud Republ 
state we live im needs all the pul 
it can get. Noble amd Averbuch (in 
their article, The Long Blue Nose of the 
Lam, in the February issue) erred greatly 
amd ‘hurt our pride much when they 
alluded to Judge Twain Michelsen’s 
cousin Gutzon Borglum and his sculp 
turing on the “granite hills of North 
Dakota.” 


That “hill” they are referring to is 
in the state of South Dakota, It is a 
mountain ol solid rock, 6:300 leet above 
sea level, in the highest range of moun: 
tains between the Rockies and the Coast 
On this mountain is the shrine of 
democracy. the Mount Rushmore Na- 
tional Memorial. ‘The heads of Lincoln, 
Jefferson, Washington and T. Roosevelt 
are carved 450 feet high. 

Forest Elliow 
Sioux Falls, S. D. 


Your very entertaining magazine is 
certainly not best known as а geography 
text, but 1 would think that Messrs. 
Noble and Averbuch could locate the 
sculpturing of Borglum in South rather 
than North Dakota. 
lim Noe 
h Bend, Indiana 


+++ T wouldn't be a bit surprised it 
You receive a leer trom the desk ol Joe 
Foss, Governor of South Dakota 
Mrs. R. Goble 
Rapid City, 5. D. 


mering story, 
but the author was guilty of one un 
pardonable enor, which I'm cenam 
many other poker players caught. Umil 
the last с that fateful hand 


opening bet! One of the first rules a 
poker novice learns is that high man on 
board opens the betting — usually an- 
nounced by the dealer. Clinker's three 
tens showing could not buck Mason's 
three ladies and I'm certain every poker 
player will agree with me when say 


a double shot of sophisticated pleasure 


THE BEST FROM PLAYBOY 
and PLAYBOY ANNUAL 


Here, in two handsome, hanl-cover volumes, 
are all the best, most sophisticated, most provocative features 
from the fist two years of PLAYBOY, 

Cartoons by Jack Cole, Gardner Rea, Al Stine and Vip; 

stoties by Erskine Caldwell, Charles Beaumont and Thorne Smith: 
mor by Ray Russell, Fal Wilson and Max Shulman; 

plus a choice selection of Ribald Classics and a host of 

Party Jokes, ballade, toasts and limericks. 

You'll want both books for your permanent library, 

and several extra copies for deserving friends, 


THE BEST FROM PLAYBOY ani 

51 h—both hooks for $1— Send check or money order to 
PLAYBOY BOOK DEPARTMENT, 11 E. Superior Street, 
Chicago'11, Ilinois 


И opened correctly,‏ ې 
would never have resulted in Clinker‏ 
being taken for all his marbles,‏ 
Joseph Т. Mysak‏ 
Brooklyn, New York‏ 
Since it ix оне that the high man on‏ 
hoard opens the belting, we can only‏ 
asume Hat Mason checked to the three‏ 
tens а not too illogical move, since he‏ 
wanted to convince Clinker, as the bid-‏ 
ding developed that he was bluffing. As‏ 
‘Clinker losing his shirt, he probably‏ 
would have dene so, no matter how the‏ 
betting was started, since the author‏ 
makes И clear Clinker did believe Mason‏ 
wax 01١٩ right wp to his $9,500 raise,‏ 
when Clinker threw in his hand,‏ 


Lin not in د‎ habit of writing sage and 
notan agazines, 
in this case 1 am compelled to! I just 
finished reading The Crack of Doom 
and tie tension amd. 
force ol ill feel. IL 1 
able to put down my fall reaction, it 
wold sound like an advertise 


simply that 1 think it was a terrific story, 
superbly written, 


Fairfield, Towa 
BS, Okay if 1 give vtaxuoy a plug on 
any shaw? 


Yep. 


SIZZLING STEER 
1 have never read an article that 
súned me like Thomas Mario's Stenk 


For Two in the February issue of Ptax- 
1 was on a wain еми 


ld hardly wait to سا‎ a scat hole 
io put your recipe on a later belare 
me teak tie а Jewel ht demands 
1 you people relly knew how i 
shoot he donc 
T enjoy alo your articles on [shi 
and Tuning Tr men. М 
Vat wil they ever succes 
AR Bishop 
Redondo Bench Calit. 


Nope. 


Please res like the 


delicious 1 teak For Two 
in your February issue. We got so 
Hungry looking at it that oar boytriends 
took us out for a steak dinner. How 


about pheasant under glass next? 
Bobbie and Lynda 
Chicago, Minos 


RUSSELL ON A MOT TIN ROOF 
The askances looking juvenile sporting, 
the weskit and twenty cent cigar on your 
February Playbill page has all the inno- 
cente of a man with a weekend pass to 
Smith College. Take away the trappings 


and what have you got? One helluva 

intellect — that’s what 
Ray Russell's “obscure” satire has all 
the finese of a well wickled straight 
тали. Obscure! His satire was about ay 
obscure as the locker room at the YMCA. 
Since rLavuoy doesn't especially cater 
ic silk hankie crowd, 1 don't imagine 


2 


Dick Morgan 
Manhattan Beach, Cali. 


Your Ray Russell is an absolu 

loll. А man is a beautiful thing 
jis weird age of ret 
rogression, د‎ man is as rare as a tender 
button in the 


what did 1 find but that priceless 
fabulous, divi 

Hot Tin Roof. 

1 hope | haven't formed a pattern, 


gem, Playwright on а 


by that time 1 was madly in love‏ سا 
with him. Apparently ов the assembly‏ 
inc, he was given a physique that would‏ 
make Paris or Apollo groan in envy, but‏ 
something went askew, for thrust m his‏ 
head was an uncomplementary set ol‏ 
rains, completely devoid af a space for‏ 
was rushed to the head healers, but‏ 1 
for all of that 1 could give only lip and‏ 
teeth service 10 a smile and my heart‏ 

forgot how to laugh. 
ter reading Playwright on a Hot 
wiously. И 


And 1 told. 
story. Me sid, = 
needed و‎ release 
Funny side to ev 
hanka, م۸١!‎ Thanks, you terrific 
Ray Russell, 


Y 
San Francisco, Cali. 
MISS FEBRUARY 
You didn't do Mis Felnuary j 


I you're going to have breablast in bad 
Jets have the main dish uncovered. 

nl Olive 
Springfield HI 


photographer Russ 
de more time 


CREW CUT with a 
Continental Air 


Rote your crew cul with the very best 
when you keep it neo! with 


Cs lu 


aye сл bum, Sopa and 


“М.А” 
RECORD 
FANS! 


PARR or con 


nes 


ihe ot of March, 100, Printed 


FANBOY, May, TE, Vel QNS. Parker y peblaled mel by НИН eg Cr. ع‎ 


Ere 
eked Be 


D Ef ee 
"mr ва Bib > Ten au) هم‎ 


PLAYBOY 


armi would naturally have become tired 
trom holding the cup and wast, shed 
ac lowered thems shen ‘imap! — all 
savaoy readers would really have been 
Fewarded with an “outstanding” picture. 

Regretful two good points were iin 
ui ren 5 
Montreal, Que. Canada 


our latest Playmate is the most. 

Га Tike to be her piece of toast, 

But if that job is taken up, 

Td seule lor her coflee cupi 
Harold Browne 

Warwick, R. 1. 


1 have just finished reading your 
February issue. 1 thought the Playmate 
pene of Marguerite Empey was one of 
the best yet. 
1 have а complete collection of Play: 
mates, and Margaret Sent (Miss Feb. 
сту. 1954) is still my favorite. How 
about a rerun for Maggie? 
Jack Harding 
Chicago, Ill. 


DARTMOUTH SNOW BUNNY 
We thought you'd enjoy this i 


Carnival weekend this Febr‏ مس 
AYIOV fe the пи popular maga:‏ 
ur tracery and, as а matter‏ 


Hanover, New Hampshire 


PLAYBOY'S BOXING PREVIEW 
erytime 1 read a fight report on the 
nous Robinson-Masim bout, the 
akes a point about Sugar Ray 
collapsing, Irom heat exhaustion and not 
from Maxim's punches. So where was 
Maxim during this heat wave? Was he 
in a cooler part of the state or was he 
а portable air conditioner? L 
give Maxim seme credit. 
E. H. Bolda 
Detroit, Michigan 
Joey Maxim wasn't doing much fight- 


ing that evening, so he was less effected 
by the heat than Robinson. Sugar had 
alvendy won the bout when he collapsed 
from heat exhaustion; had he simply 
Leen able to stay om his feet through the 
remaining roumdend-e hell, he would 
have token the lightheavyweight tlle. 
Even referee Ruby Goldstein was busier 
in the ring than Maxim and the 110 de- 
gree temperature got him in the fourth. 


А WORD FROM THE LADIES 


viavnoy is wonderful, 


that way 1 get to read it first. Im an 
exPTA President and د‎ Sunday School 
teacher, but think you publish ane of 
the best, mist entertaining magazines 
md. ы 
Mrs. Katherine E. Williamson 
Penney Farms, Florida 


Your mag has come across the ocean 


fi ote For Pob 


Td like two ساسا‎ 


London, England. 


You have the damnedest magazine T 
have ever seen. | must boast a bit and 
say that I have read them all, from 
Sexology 10 Richards Almanac, 
Take it from د‎ "Mousewife.” yours is the 
greatest thing since diaper service. 

Entertainment for men? Debatable, 
Alter parting with my hall a buck, 1 then 
part the pages of riaynoy. 1 view the 
Playmate and after finding ne figure 
flaws, 1 console myself with the thought 
that she is probably a horrid cook. Please 
do not disillusion me. 

At this unfortunate time of year, my 
husband is vacationing in Korea. Г de 
ated to great extent before 1 decided to 
send him cach month's copy. Jt was my 
Juchy day when ١ mailed one to him. 
The gesture has endeared me to his heart 
more than ever before. Hasn't aid a 
word about being discontented with my 
362536. 


Warren J. Suaub/s Playmate 
Hampton, Virginia 


My son who has returned from Korea 
serving with Unde Sam's army lar 
brought a copy of vtov home, 1 have 
looked through it and am thoroughly 
disgusted to think men in this wonderful 
country of curs would be guilty of عم‎ 
lishing such a magazine. Have you no 
respect lor womanhood? 

Mrs, Ruby Carpenter 

Rockville, Missouri 


Even the name "PLAYBOY" sounds 
irresponsible. Do you folks really feel 
you are doing any good, any service 10 
anyone, including yourselves, publishing 
a magazine like млувот? Have any of 


you ever really 
کس‎ donen deep in the he 
im erms of morality, ри 
dignity of woman? 1 really feel sorry lor 
the likes of y c somehow, same- 
time, good 
people like you, before it is to late. 

‘Mrs, Eva Printz 

Hamilton 


Т predict that your magazine, 
‘other fads, will die out quickly 
good riddance. Trash is the word. 

s. C. W. Potter 


A REPLY TO CRITICS 
1 believe this poem is an appropriate 
answer to those who read your magazine 
and write letters ol outraged! indignation, 
Ie was originally published in The Point 
ој View, dated 1905: 
AFTEXWORM 


M aught indelicate has jarred 
the sense, 

aught of sophistry has brought‏ از 
a Пом,‏ 

Perhaps а counter charge might 
be ct down 

And leave the reader with a sad 
delensc, 

10 aught of flighty verse or tale 

Has led you on, this final page 
о crown 

With comment critical, some 
slight renown 

Accrucs to me through that same 
evidence, 


For were you not, yourself, on 
pleasure bent, 

‘You surely bad nor read as far 
as here. 

1 pray you judge me by my good 
intent 

To bring a smile or chase away 
a tear, 

And if my methods must for 
pardon sue, 

1 first must bid 
Point of View. 


A project begun nine months ago was 
culminated. for me ه٥‎ February sth in 
the shape of a small, loud daughter. As 
my wile is an avid reader of MAvNOY, 1 
dropped the latest off at the hospital for 
her to enjoy. Visiting hours the next d 
Drought a barrage of where and how and 
from whence cometh, etc, from doctors, 
mures and patients, 

Considering the fact that the inhabi 
tants of maternity wards are usually 
female (those who are able to read, any- 
how) 1 feel that it is an answer to the 
indignant ladies who occasionally annoy 
us cultural types with their complaints. 
Congratulations to la в.лувоу and keep 
it up. 


Rob Merolla and family 
Waukegan, Illinois 
PS. Have a cigar. 
Thanks, 


am almost unelieved note of sardonic 
سا‎ Sir Laurence Olivier i jus such a 
and 
i batese 
سا‎ a delight to watch. There are other 
reasons, af course: the bracing bustle of 
"le bale комы the Machiavellian 
machinations اه‎ the plot; the visual 
beauty of the sets کوس‎ and Claire 
he perfect performances of auch 

actor as Ral 
John Giclgul- but ts Oliviersshow. and 
le kisi. From the tme he fist faens 
Wis eye on the camera and هسلا‎ 
directly to the audience (making us as it 
were د‎ to یا‎ arme}, Olivier i 
he mic of the whole she 


virtuoso. Mis Richard is 
intelligent, unscrupulous, efficient, per- 
suave, ironic: no more, по less. This 
may not he the welbrounded Richard 
one might wish (we missed the sug 
gestion of a cripples Inner anguish), but 
it ia legitimate and devilishly entertain 
ing one — and one who can make cu 

ing that badl-written, unbelieval 
where Richard woos and wins 
utes, the widow of 
He is aided here 3 
у the home truth that women find evil 

and also by the fact tha 

wisely divides the scene into two scenes, 
allowing the lady at least one " 
fore the heavy breathing sets in. Olivier, 
besides playing the lead, directed the 
film and, with Alam Dent, wrote the 


screenplay, Ic is based on د‎ а 
سين‎ histories by Shakespos 
Doctor ot Sea В a pleasant British 
farce емитира ships doctor (Dük 
Magie) د‎ ips "captain. (Jam 
Roberton Јака) amd a shipshape 
mademoscile (Brigine Bardo). Juke 
оа pounds of ted bearded rage — 
is преса funny ze 2 sort ol comic 
Query, and Mia Bardot, though will а 
Wile shaky in the speaks da Engl 
sinet the 
live piece of French وسم‎ our jaded old 
yo have seen on the sereen فا‎ many a 
واس‎ But then were райна 


Meet Me in Las Vegas, 
able: 


Foam Jig) 
dilettante 


Dailey) 
Vegas in the ln 
fertible weve ever setn and won dis 

en tat whenever he and د‎ te 

at ballerina (Oud Ci 

eerie wittheraft pre 
nc cough up јадра, di 
but seven, roce اسا‎ 

1 м 
dean" up, then lo, ка wi 
Ра (lve). Heiden this, yo 

ng ol the famous enter 


hands, 
mach 


hie Laine, et al) on deck at 
and 


plush palaces as the Desert In 
the Golden Nu 

jary hall 
Johnny. нат 
Davis, Jr. hoofed si 
Charisse and other sli 


ied amd sung by Sammy 
Sy by Mie. 
skirt types. 


Take the good 
Rightful Rulcrto the T 


The Black Fox, a 
ired princess, secret birthmarks, 

urneys and damsels in all sures 
of distres, and you come up with a 
standard castle drama, give or take a 
simple or meo. But add just one more 


ingredient — Danny. Kaye and you've 
got اسر‎ The اسم‎ Jeder, à very 
مسا‎ Him. The magical Danny com 
tributes د‎ ew, multe favor to ihe eld 
sew by Being the same muy nudnik it 
سا‎ always been bis wont to portray: د‎ 
angling bumpkin, caught im vicum 
siames ar beyond bis simple under 
andi — projected, of course, with al 
the high att ار‎ Ms fnhumaniy elastic 
face, voice and body. Gis Johns a 


ing for, wears the low cut medieval robes 
with as and Nasal Basil Rathbone 
is still, for our money, the undisputed 


sultan of the supercilious sneer. Good 
fun, this: a picture to please all devout 
devokayes, 


theatre 


ern: 


1 Shaw's Pygmalion, a 
ever since we cay the 
e of Third Bystander in an оси 
Het, is now a musical comedy. We 
rather expected dhe bust of کات‎ om 
muclpiece to lower at thi 

o be 

(th 

2 


iio MY a L 
of work. 1 
شولک‎ ногу of د‎ only Codo 
sone 


y girl 
nuted into a fine lady by د‎ 
professor of speech is alter all 
le. and therefore an admirable sub. 


kf the mona sige idend. 
Nic put wp the Lantan Wf Uer cor. 
ایت سی به په‎ le dieit 


performances add the final touch. Julie 
Andrews — the girl friend of The Boy 
Friend — is a fetching. pathetic, demonic 


Elia (he Coches gil: never vas dhe 
jonetician Higgins more glacial, more 
Eaustic, more suave than this Higgins of 
Rex Harrison (the milk of human kind- 
nes absolutely freezes over during his 
cech lessons): and the relatively minor 
solos اه‎ Eis father and Colonel 
Pickering are polished off with stumnin 
authority by Stanley Holloway а 
Robert Coote, respectively. No small 
item in this production's success is the 
happy fact that all the principal players 
are Briunhers — апа chock full ob talent 
Britishers, besides. Jolly good show, 
uv nor; you'd best queue up (or tickets 
straightaway; look sharp now: off you po. 
(AL the Mark Hellinger, W. 51st. NYC). 


Playwright Paddy Chayefsky, as anyone 
whe saw Marty knows more а photogs 
Tapher than a poet, but his photography 
Mire gu tc has d of ete 


Wee quality. In this vein is his cur 
piece, Middle of the 


rent Bro 


peng vite (age 
ut lonely widower of a bae (age 50. 
plus). 

Va anger vl موو‎ In the Cajero 


mode is that it tends to record life's drab, 
dull, pedestrian side right along 
‘everything else. This play is saved from 
the error of artequalslife by the vibrant 
presence of Edward G. Robinson. He is 
د‎ link between sidewalks and stars He 
stands om Chayefsky’s shoulders and 
heightens the authors camera-cye tech- 

ique to the point of drama. Never 
cornball, Robinson gestures in the grand 
‘manner in the midst of an ever-soslightly 
Seventh Avenue speech, and the two go 
together to make a vital performance 
and am exciting theatrical evening. 
(ANTA Theatre, West 52nd St, NYC) 


"We keep it always the same,” said 

jalatojre, gesturing toward his 
jenu. * Lrout marguery, shrimp remon 
Ме, fillet marchand de vin; For 80 
years, Galatoires in New Orleans has 
served some of the finest French cuisine 
in the entire U, $, ever since old Uncle 
Jean Симоне came from France i 
1876. For the last 50 years, Galatoire’s 
has occupied. the same location at 209 
Bourbon: the walls are lined with mir. 
ror» graceful brass fans reach down from 
the ceiling, the loor is عا‎ the windows 
heavily curtained, The door of the 
dignified white structure just off Canal 
Street are open noon to 9 РМ 
closed Mondays. And Сашоне is 
always crowded, being a favorite of 
Orleanians as well as visitors, No reser- 
vations can be made, Why? “It is a 
tradition," says Leon. “There were no 
reservations when we first opened and 
ме keep it always the same.” 


We were sitting in Orsuís Pump 
Room (Ith and Locust) in Philadelphia. 
checking up on a remarkable story we 
heard Irom an actor pal, а hardbitien, 
ice water for blood Kind of fell noted 
lor his tough guy roles on stage and 
screen. Claimed he had Кафето! to د‎ 
lark at Оган who warbled his favor 


mediately dsolved into a 
Jodi tears We hound the subterranean 
onferente chamber to be a red drape, 
ig sort of سو‎ with 
Nie d jme Mana отау of 
the Shamrock in Houston) grecting us 
اسر‎ seeing ما‎ it that we sumpled Chel 
Oxars Chicken مس‎ (chicken and 
oms sauteed in white wine and 
ce, with spices added). We were 
well бете for the 
Wy eie مه شم‎ 4 
uber into и 
her piano almost hid 
camir, amd singa all 


away im one 
Ihe songs from 
to Tin Pan Alley in a bitter. 
ice reminiscent of Mildred 
Bailey's. What really got through to our 


‘sweet 


rend, we decided, i Des سل‎ 


Лаа in just the nostalgic way yo 
sure the composer intended. We didn't 
bawl, but the night hours melted away 
pleasantly indeed. Closed Sundays. 


There's more than an adequate cache 
of comfortable chairs and white leather 
Booths at Chicago's London House 
(Michigan and Wacker Drive) in which 
1o take in the current keyboard recitals 
of Marian McPartland, a girl who pilots 
her trio through some mansized, Tatier- 
day arpeggios. You're apt to 
Oscar and George Marienthal h 
between pillars and posts roost any time, 
and the entire green-wallel room (with 
paneled bar of ın опе side) pulses 
happily with tall. talk, talk about clients. 
budgets, schedules, مه‎ (L M. is the 
hub for Chicago advertising nabob). 
When thirst alates, as it must occasion 
ally, all eyes wheel toward the open 
hearth up front which dispenses giant, 
ruddy sirloins, chops of all sorts, and د‎ 
line of plump. pampered chickens that 
seem almost pleased with their char- 
coaled fate. A wee, but wonderful 
lis is at your constant call (recom. 
mended: Pommard Hasenklever 1917). 
Most flanneled patrons stick around um 

1 closing: 5 A.M. on Saturday. 4 during 
the rest of the week. Joh 

wwhedgeable 

'wesday; Miss McPartland and her slick 

sidekicks have a go on other nights. 


Whenever the tantalizing vision of ex- 
traordinary food served in an atmosphere 
of nearly monastic simplicity avails our 
ner eye, we zip right over to Wash- 
ington’s Occidental Restaurant (1411 
Pennsylvania Ave, NW), just a 
shot from the White House. Business 
‘Arthur Riback was telling us 
that Ulyses Grant used to hitch up his 
hone to a post outside the door and 
burst in for a few fast shots (at 25c 
apiece, when the Occidental was called 


the Thompson-Owens House). and it 
дан mero or Abe Eolo 10 
mel. Today, he went on, you're just ae 
apt to spot د‎ Cabinet member, Senator 
Or tar of د‎ current play running at the 
National or Shubert theatres, Не mo 
ione towards د‎ wooden table in thc 
comer and there, large as lile, st Labor 
Secretary James Mitchell sticidhing his 
legs and eming his Secretarial Iome 
against he canvas back of a captis 
hair When Mr, Michell works over 

me. we were told. his chaleur drives 


to the Occidental and picks up a steak 
sandwich for him. We thanked Mr 
formation and pro 


a to take a closer look 
the 2500 autographed photo 
ie dining room walls! 
Pásalo ll and Dv 
looked down : 
Tallulah Bankhead was grinning. Em 
سشر‎ at the Occidental سا‎ been placed 
"oen the decades on “hearty 

are which means, we سل‎ 0 
seaks, lobsters and chops prepared v 


the Mpineclear eye ol Swiss chel 
Winia Bueller, Lunch, dinner and 
supper hours merge gracchully into one 


another from 11 AM. through 1 AM. 
and it is wise to phone for reservations 
for the simple reason that the dining 
room's 300 seats seldom po beckoning, 


The Olivier Richard is ako ou 
for ears alone on three LPs hands 
boxed by RCA Victor (LM 6126). 
is the original sound track, 
fanfare and footfall ۱١ 
and though the lack of selectivity gives 
the listener the feeling he is sining in a 
езе lobby overhearing tantalizing 
chunks of an unseen film, the album 
makes а fine permanent souvenir of an 
‘excellent Hick, 


Via, under, مه‎ suddenly 
soothing. amd easy voiced, Harry 
Keene s غو سال‎ login al de 
vocal dramatics and brassy showmanship 
so necessary 10 his special melange ol 
ballads and folk music, A c ing 
ros section of his repertoire is heard on 
سا‎ (Victor. LEN), win 
catches, among other things, the 
slave chant Jump Down, Spin Around, 
the rumsoaked calypso caper Matilda 
andl the haunting Waterboy. 


"The first time Sammy Davis, Jr. heard 
the Hilos, he supposedly stutered, 
“Man! "They're د‎ gas!” and we too are a 
little dizzy from the effects. We don't 
know who came first, the Hi-Lo's or The 
Four Freshmen, but comparison is inevi- 
table: both groups stun the ear with mile- 
wide organ chords, weird phrasing and. 
soupcdup delivery. Both quartets are 


sharp as can be: listen 10 The HiLo's 
Under Glass (Starlite 7005) and The 
Four Freshmen aud Five Trombones 
(Capitol TOSS). 


Vaughan in HiFi (Columbia 
у catches this most sophisticated. 
ic mixture of slow blues, 


jump tunes and ballads, each a gracious 
Study of Sarah's divine warbling. An 
extra dividend is Miles Davis’ introspec 
ive trumpet foamed in a small jazz 


group bucking Sarah up on such sterling 
"el ugs ds The Nearness ој Yon 
Gort Get Out of This Mood and End 
a the Sun. 


Frank Sinstra's new LP for Capitol. 
Songs for Swingin’ Lovers (W633) is a 
b paste of uptempo 


1 3 

МЕСТИ Be Together Again and the Cole 

Porter emie Anything Goes, bristling, 
lyrical gems as 

knew heuer 


LP collection for Capitol and every one 
has been a waxen wonder. There is no. 
tone else around today who handles a 
pop tune as well as Frank. 


When Margaret Whiting Sing for the 
stay Eyed (Capitol TRS), sc docs ic 

0 tate And an aime unnersing 
٠٢ pet lve cog uni It pars 
ене al the ppridden prose cn the 
jacket aout “few loc" and ату. 
E" وام‎ Ms Whiting LP i an 
ail, ear oe prevention of vae 
Compelling songs luting They Di 
leve Me Lefa Fall In Lane sud the 
Чаты Tve Told Evy Dile Sr, 


lor has ول‎ int ds وسل‎ archives 
sid come up with The Golden Aer of 
Tenny Goodman (LPM 1099 polig 
ae original 198699 killer diller bami 
Ting omt a barret of cto m 
Sinmpin’ at the Sovoy, One O Clock 
ro Bugle Call Коко And the 
Sig. ас Con 
rested ما‎ month (Mr. Пенну Goor- 
man. which featured new сни of 
Practically he same tunes. The Golden 
Ale tool ор honans, 


Igor Stravinsky was د‎ stripling of 27 
when Serge Diaghilev, the stormy ballet 
and opera producer, presented him with 
"niic 10 

neering a sen 
Prince Ivan, King 
Kauchei and 13 суу princes wha 
owed allegiance 10 а bewitching Tear. 
evna, The brooding, dissonant, swollen. 
Score with its triumphant finale has Бест 
Stel and recorded many times since 
its first performance in 1910, but по. 
where will you hear a more ebullient 
Five Bird than that turned in by Ernest 
uting L'Orchestie de la 

London LL 1272). Two 
contemporary American bullet scores we 
like are Morton Gould's Full River 
Legend and Leonard Bernstein's Fac- 


simile (both on Capital P $520). The 
first. of course, is based on the demi 
cumie ax murder of Ми. amd Mrs 
Borden by their dizzy daughter Lizzie. 
the whacky lass who allegedly adminis- 
tered 40 whacks to Mother and 41 to 
dear old Dad. startling and 
roaring. ar the climax is Mr. Gould’ in- 
terpretation of the goingeon. Farsimile 
is د‎ pchological tone poem concerned 
wih pont wa nameless مو‎ (Woman, 
First Man) in an episode ar the beach 
thar is لما‎ with fitful passion, jealousy 
and disillusionment. all of which i 
ly rellected in Mr. Bermuciws 
aly neurotic sore The Ballet 
Wheatre orchestra is conducted by 
Joseph Levine. 


ır on the campus. no doubt about 

ft. ё a Nourishing fact. Most of it. for 

some remon. seems to emanate Iron 

tern or Midwestern schools. an 
had the personal. pleasure 

‘our bluchers to the Salis Dogs (Pus 

weil as Stan Rubin's 

0). Хо to be 

rocken its own 

нс clambukers 


halfdoven 
who have chosen tn call themselves Eli's 


undergrad 


Chosen Six (Columbia СІ. 736), and a 
fine mess of music they do cook up. 
Gleverly concocted is the funny old 
blues novelty. Ugly Chile ("Your teeth 
are yellow, you don’t smell so mellow. 
you're a uelle chile”), plus several 
other solid Southland standards: 1٨ 
vevine Blues. "That's A-Plenty. Muskrat 
Ramble. "he lads have a particularly 
good time with Cole (Yale. 46) Porter's 
Bulldog by sluicing in from time to time 
د‎ stream of other traditional Eli favor 
he. Goodnight Poor Harvard, Boole 
Brola, Bright College Years. сле. and it: 
a fine romp from start to finish. 


ın discern the influence of Schor 
Milhaud and even Rossini cut 
ally aos. nal bit. 

а scholarly young fellow. div 
cues on the LP cover the why and 
wherclore of one of his own tunes, Bab- 


theme comes it 
Yoidks! Despite the 
supersophistication, Johnny Eaton and 
Princetonians manage to roll mer- 
vily along, and “a Persian double har 
ic scale over open fifths in the bas” 
bother you onc whit. 


Sis enstalpure male and female 
voices. undiluted by instrumental non- 
sense, warble their winged ways through 
1 top tunes of 16th and I7th Century 
England, on a platter called The English 


Make a dete with the 
MARIAN McPARTLAND ı 


ste LONDON house ¢ 


the best in food, too 
Michigan Мое » Сене أ‎ 


THAT 


You're darn right it в... 
... A REAL restaurant. 


We وعم‎ it och ke the drawings ol the 
es Fine Arts Building, And what could te 
more appropriate? Ме think tat good cocking 
i the finest of Fine Arts. And at MORTON'S 
"Bat art kas been refined to the very peak of 
تسا‎ 

Wat teer place culé the species hnc 
sapiens کن وتام‎ (Chicago variety) tae his 
[ade tastebuds and his Playmate? An evening 
‘of reed ding with special music designed 
lo made Ме digestive juices flow t even ar 
за execute’ mistreated storach. 
Martinis of extraordinary mume velocity, 
sine دا د‎ September issue: hichory bartegued 
FA that are a моћ of art in ther es; an 
Woneric 26 ounce ct of prime гё of rast 
eel that's right, 26 ances) that د کا‎ many 
splerdre tiag 


All this is MORTON'S 
Heres Wor he Museum of Scene and 
سیا‎ on Chicago's cuter ab shore. 


MORTON'S RESTAURANT 
3550 South Shore Drive Chicago 


a restaurant? 


pom 


$e 


106 E WALTON PLACE, 
CHICAGO, ш. 


Î LINN BURTON Presents 
AL MORGAN 
In Person 
STEAK HOUSE 
rerum | 


PLAYBOY 


10 


Madrigal School. Fol. 1 (Vanguard KG- 
595) The tane is iui ее 
flawless, the songs ding and the 
pacing canny: ively, Jocular melodies 
Buch as Mother, 1 Wil Hace a Husband 
are alternated with the sustained, serene 
ny of songs like Weep O Mine Eyes 
Thee are dedicated, spirited singers, 

nd, under the endy hem direction of 
‘Altre Deller, a good time is had by al 


ie Konitz with Warne Marsh (At 
Tantic 1217) spotlights two of the bright- 
est "thinking" saxophonists in captivity 
Lee plays alto, Warne tenor), and the 
سم‎ comes at You like gamma ray» shot 
in a Tine of tricky time and knife sharp. 
tomes Lae cok oto his harmonie 
training Irom Lennie Tristano, gras 
mfi د اه‎ brine contemporary jazz 
School in which every note counts, so 
you best keep tree or four cars cocked 
At all times. Here are some ol the most 
subile, whipsmart musicians around 
these days, whose control over their in- 
struments constantly amazes us. As just 
‘one example, listen to Ома Petrilord 
Don't Squawk (Oscar plays bass with the 
group. which also includes Billy Dauer 
Om guitar, Sal Mosca om piano and 
Kenny Clarke on drums). 


Lighthouse at Laguna (Contemporary 
3509) casts a steady beam on a recent 
West Coast jus concert that featured 
Howard Rumseys Lighthouse All-Stars, 
Barney Kessel guitar and the Hamp- 
ton Hawes trio. Its د‎ real fine race 
through the world of light, polite jazz, 
and we took particular pleasure in 
Frank Rosoline's facile, free blown trom- 
bone on Lady Jean, as well as Hampton 
Hawes’ big, booming chord work on 
Walkin’ and The Champ. Mr. Hawes is 
the champ, a gent who placates 2 piano 
as if he possessed at least seventeen 
felicitous fingers. 


[4 
EZ == 


"And then, in fiteen minutes in د‎ 
le sinking summer resort beside a 


lake, the whole thing collapsed.” The 
whole thing, in this case, happens ما‎ 
be the lives of three grade-À bunglers in 


Irwin Shaw's painful, penetrating novel 
of a sour marriage, Lucy Crown د‎ 
dom House, $8.95), and a coking good 
‘one it ik Lucy is a SGycarold upper- 
middle class knockout who chooses adul- 
tery as her favorite form of self expres: 
sion, gets caught between the sheets by 
her sensitive son, is nailed to the wall by 
a pompous husband. From then on, the 
walis come tumbling down as Lucy 
wanders from Simmons to Sealy “looking, 
Tor د‎ good opinion of myself in the arms 
of other men.” Son Tony turns into а 

4, sneering expatriate living im 
Paris, husband Oliver goes completely 
to seed and finally steps into a hail of 
German machine gun slugs in د‎ war he 


should never have seen. What Shaw has 
etched magnificently is د‎ deadly, wo- 
human pattern of insatiable egos, sell- 
hatred, revenge and final expiation. 


регионот 
een 
DR 
ar 
поко ха 
UE a! 
ея 
ne 
ET 
uet 
ونا‎ e E 
e p CAN 
Lac yn ges 
سنا‎ е eT 
لس نې‎ eel 
аа C ма е 
deep pe 
gc P 
Батар ЕИ 


VE we must go around the world in an 
Fames chair, we'd rather do it under the 
orage ol our own Patrick Chase or at 
cast David Dodge, whose 1936 edition 
of The Poor Man's Guide to Europe 
(Random House, 53.50) turns out to be 
د‎ prize tipsheet for travelers. Mr. Dodge, 
є nicklenunsery’ most revered peri 
patetic, is a crafty young coot who once 
paddled from the French Riviera to the 
‘on a water bicycle while 
lad in nothing but a bathing suit and 
the inspiring effects of a bottle of Cognac. 
Here. he offers some very funny and 
| hints on packing, tipping, tip- 
ing, chiseling. lodging, dodging, travcl- 
ng and haggling your curate way 
around the Continent, 


int, Rose slept with Alexis. Then 
she slept with Alesis uncle, George, who 
had a mistress named Giullietta. Then 
Rose slept with Alesis again. Then Rose 
married George and they had a daughter 
named Jenny. Then Rose slept with 
Vincent, and Alexis almost slept with 
Jenny, but slept with Giullieua instead. 
Jt all sounds rather complex, but David 
Garnett, in his slender novel Aspects of. 
Love (Harcourt, Brace, SS), guides the 
reader in and out of boudoir and haylolt 
with agility, Keeping cach relationship 


risp and sharp while spinning a delight 
fal sory, This book اسان د‎ 
pagan: filled with the joy of lite, glow- 


ing with appreciation for the pleasures 
اه‎ food, wine, mature and healthy 
amality. Author Garnett, at 64, is ob- 
viously a fervent believer in the line of 

irgil’s which he quotes and which may 
well be considered the theme of the 
book: "Heres Death twitching my ear. 
“Live! says he, "lor I'm coming’ 


“Innocence.” says Graham Greene in 
his frst novel since 1951, "is like a dumb 
leper who has lost his bell, wandering 
the world, meaning no harm.” Alden 


con (Viking, $8.50), is an 
abroad in French Indochina, meani 
по hann but causing a great deal and 
‘coming to ultimate harm himself there 

Caught up in Pyles futile, fatal ما‎ 
bling is the book's narrator (a disem- 
chanted British war correspondent 
strongly resembling the author) and 
fragile Phuong, the Vietnamese mistress 
of both men. This bitterest, if not best, 
Greene novel is being publicized as his 


а е ek 
igion plays liule or no part" It makes 
ood reading, for Greene کا‎ one of the 


Sols mest accomplished novels, In 
when we remember The End othe 
ран, The Heart of the Maite and The 
Power andthe Glory (m all of which » 
fion played د‎ major pany, we cu 
Mp whine Greene would rou tn 
pom 


A trio of comedies that have been 
raking in the Broadway shekchare now 
available 10 armchair theatre gers: Will 
Success Spoil Kock. Hunter, No Time 
[or Sergeant, and Janus” (Random 
Howse, SESS each). ack Hunter, by 
George (Seven Yeu Itch) Axelrod. ul 
oi anis llege oneens а 
bashful young low; a ah young 
"Monde, amd devi im the o 

literary agent named Irving LaSalle 
Ама هم‎ literary agent is named 


Irving Lazar). Sergeants is a series of 
funn! 


fantastic incidents involving an 
ging, Lil Abnertype yokel and the 
Army Air Force. Janus, taking its title 


successful historical novels. All 
tree plays make swift, lighthearted غه‎ 
ing lor these evenings when you don’t 
want to wrinkle the gray matter. 


sexy, 


That Uncertain Feeling (Harcourt, 
Brace, $8.50) busies elf with exter 

ital sport among à chuch of comic 
Welsh, each of whom wavers charmingly 
‘on the brink of infidelity. John Lewi 
an asistan librarian living in Cwym- 
fryd, Wales, is riddled with a breast 
fetish (Why did Т like women's breasts 
so much? Т was dar on why I liked 
them, thanks, but why did 1 like them 
مر‎ much”). Along tros Mis. Elizabeth 
Gruffydd Willian, د‎ coublowsed, tally 
thing whose hubby is chairman of the 
Library Committee, and tosses a wicked 
Fas بد‎ John, who happens to have د‎ 
wife and wants a better job. An awful 
damned lot of English drawing room 
chatter is flipped back and 
(Cblocsly" this, “bloody” that) beto 
affair picks up any sort of steam: they 
kiss om page 77 (Well, that really was 
nice") and finally take той in the sand 
fon page 198 ("Tita was good, wasn't it, 
"elg ds blondy well writen, 
though, and author Kingsley Amis is a 
bloody dever chap almost another 
Bloody Huxley. 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


avant. E 
DEAR PLAYBOY H 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 3 
THE SPLENDID سم‎ RICHARD MATHESON 12 
TO VICTOR BELONGS THE 5۶05-69 диет C. USHER 15 
ном NOW, BROWN COWI—enicle JANES F. PERCE 19 
EXECUTIVE - FRANK CANOT مد‎ 
THE SHOOTING OF JUDGE PRICE—Actien موو‎ CALDWELL 23 
JAZZ RECORD JACKETS GO JAZZY—picteral _ 2 
THE LIQUID Ариана THOMAS MARO 29 
THE PLEASURES OF PORTUGAL—revel PATRICK CHASE зз 
MISS MAY—playbey's playmate ofthe month ^ 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES humor. 4 
THE MONSTER SHOW—fetion CHARES BEAUMONT 43 
THE PERFECT SECRETARY—humer Any мше аз 
THE TEMPLE OF FRUITFUL WOMEN—vibald lassie ЕЕ s 
HEADS, YOU нение Miss sa 
TRAINING YOUR FIRST WIFE—sorirs SHEPHERD MEAD دد‎ 
THE LYNX WITH THE LUSTY LARYNX—pictorial LIE s 
FM LOSING MY HAIR—humer — JACK PANES و‎ 


PLAYBOY'S BAZAAR—buying guide a 


сн м. هجو‎ editor and publisher 
hay RUSSELL executive editor маня Pav art director 


лека коми asocia editor oman нак asociate ви director 


пром stuuens advertising manager Jom PACTS assistant art director 


Micron омана m promotion manag лонх astm production manager 


тише © милая business manager 


mabey le published monthly by the HMH Publishing Co. tne. 11 E Superior, Chico 
еы Рр muat company په‎ vomer Фр са 
sena Entered ca weird sos Кан بر مقر د‎ te pon ое of Ch 

ie Aer o Men, IO ‘hinted in U. E ۸ Contents copyriahied Fst 


renale 


ey 


are 
Timm Are 
MAE V C Te 
b 


ee] 


سيا 
ES‏ 


H 


AOSAV'Id 


vol. 3, no. 5— may, 1956 


PLAYBOY 


12 


"Then spare me your slander, 
apnd ae там hn 
the daytime, and give it not to young 
maiden there be any Batt 
fear nothing for this book, since it is 
extracted from a high and splendid 
source, from which all that has issued 
has had а great succew . 

— Babac: Contes Drolatiques, 

Prologue 


Gwar te one Unde Toman told Ta 

the summer howe that did it. Talbert 

yes jut coming up the path when he 
ch 


heard the punch line: "Му God! cried 
the aen, thought you sad rap 
rill” 

Gullavs exploded in the little house 


Talbertatondmotdonies, looking 
through the roe weile at dhe laugh 
pues Im his contour sandals he 
thor flexed tuminativey. He thought. 

Tater he took د‎ walk around! Lake 
Bean and watched the ental sof Toki 
سه‎ amd observed. the Bing want 
And stared at the Ком and ought 

“re been thinking.” he said shat 
"о 1 I 

Eo" mid Unde Lyman 
He di not commit himmel Кат Hi 
Valid for the Bow. 

Which fell. 

"Di jos" sid Talbert Bean Ш 

“I beg Jour pardon?" id Uncle Ly- 

"indicas бек of them covering the 
satin 

"I fal" mid Unde Lyman, "o grasp 
ite point” Appecheation popped bb 

"1 find the subject fraught with witch 
ery” mid Taler 

nr 

“Consider” aid Talbert. "Every day, 
all through our land, men teli ool 
jokes; im hars and at bull panes й 
theatre lobbies and at places of bust 
nes; om street comers and im locker 
Toons. AC home amd away, а veritable 


dus 
Talbert paused meaningfully 
“Who makes them up?" he asked. 
Unde Lyman stared at his nephew 
with the Took of a fisherman who has 


hooked a жа serpent alf awe, 
Виена“ тем 


"Em afraid — " he began. 
“L want to know the source of these 
jokes” said Talbert. “Their genesis 
their fountainbead.” 
“Wig?” asked Uncle Weakly, 
yy Becas relevant aid Talbert 
"Because these jokes are a part of a cul- 
ture heretofore морат. Because 
they are an anomaly: a phenomenon 
PUR Lyman did no ped Hi pal 
та in did not 1 
На hands dried imply ou hi hall rend 
Wall Street Journal, Behind the pol 
یساسا‎ of his glasses his eyes 
were suspended berries i 
At last he sighed. 
“And what part.” he inquired, sadly. 


einn‏ وون 
DI‏ 


sid Talbert, "with 


one Se baten a 
poss Bean ماس‎ 
"spit? ei Talbert "Call Mm up 
and خد‎ him where he head i 
Voce Lyman drew the her watch 
trom pen nt 1 x 
irs arly midnight Talbert” he 
announced. и 
"Taller waved away chronology 
"Nowe le aid. This imp 
Undc Lyman examined his مسل‎ a 
longer. Then. with a alle 


Talbert 
rug while Uncle Lyman dialed, waited 
and spoke 

“Rulprit®” said Uncle Lyman. "Ly- 
man Bean. Sorry to wake you but Tal- 
bert wants ta know where you heard the 


HUUSTRAVN او‎ Frang هوسو‎ 


joke about the actress who thought the 
director said sanaparilla." 


Unde Lyman listened. "I said" he 
began again. 

А minute later he cradled the receiver 
heavily. 


“Prentiss.” he said. 

¿Call him up,” said Talbert 

“Talbert.” Unde Lyman asked. 

“Now” said Talbert, 

A long breath exhuded between Un 
Че Lyman's lips. Carefully, he folded his. 
Wall Street Journal. He reached across 
the mah 


Prentiss heard it from George 
er, CPA. Shan 
Ackerman, M. 


Sharp. 
yer heard it from Abner 
. Ackerman heard it 
from William Copener, Prune Products 
Cozener heard it from Rod Тае, 


Mr. Cyprian Club. ‘Tassel heard it 
from O. Wimerbouom. Winterbottom 
heard it from H. Alberts. Alberts heard 
it from D. Silver, Silver {rom B. Phryne, 
Phryne from E. Kennelly, 

By an odd twist Kennelly said he 
heard it trom Uncle Lyman, 

“There is complicity here,” said Tal- 
bert, “These jokes are not sell genera 


Jt was four A.M. Uncle Lyman slump- 

ed, inert and dead eyed, on his chair. 
There has to be a source,” said Tal- 

bert. 

Uncle Lyman remained motionless 

“You're not interested,” said Talbert, 
incredulously. 

Uncle Lyman made a noise 

7I don't understand,” said Taller. 
“Here is a situation pregnant with div 
ers fascinations. Is there a man or wom- 
an who has never heard an offcolor 
joke? Tsay not. Yet, is there a man or 
‘woman who knows where these jokes 
‘come from? Again 1 say not." 

Talbert strode forcefully to his place 
او‎ musing at the twelvedooe fireplace. 


THE SPLENDID SOURCE 


fiction BY RICHARD MATHESON 


talbert’s question was cosmic: where do dirty jokes come from? 


“Why,” the eye demanded, “did the widow wear black garters?” 


1 


He poised there. staring in. 
"f may be a millionaire,” he said, 
ut Lam sensitive” He turned. "And 
phenomenon excites me.” 
Unde Lyman attempied to steep 
while retaining the face of a man awake. 
vays had more money than 
said Talbert. "Capital invest 
ment was unnecessary. Thus 1 tumed 
to investing the other asset my father 
left — my brain." 
Uncle Lyman stirred: a thought shook 


ш 


ever happened," he asked, “ta 
society of yours, the SP.CSP.CA?” 
Lh? The Society lor the Prevention 
‘of Cruelty to the Society for the Preven; 
tion of Cruelty to Animals? The past.” 
md your interest in world problems. 
What about that sociological treatise 


A were writing - 
нити a Роше View, you mean 
ساد‎ brushed i mide 

ence," 

A Rod fat there anything lef. of your 
politica pariy. the Protest 
d 


“Oh, that!” Talbert smiled ruefully. 
“Passé. dear Uncle. 1 had been reading 
too many Victorian عا‎ 


The Cue of the Semicolon in Jane du 
Stent Or Horatio سال‎ the Misunder. 
Stood Satirist? To say nothing ol War 
Queen Ellnbeih Shakespeare?” 

Was Shakespeare Queen Elisabeth: 
corrected Talbert. "No, Uncle, nothing 
doing with them They had momentary 
interest nothing more... 

"T suppoe the amc holds true for 
"The Shoe Horn: Pro and Con, ch? And 
those wientihe articles Reality Re. 
Examined and 1s Evolution Enough?” 

“ead and gone” mid Talbert, pa 
end, "dead and gone. These projects 

ded me once, Now T yo on tb berer 


Like who writes dirty jokes” siid 
Uncle Lyman, 
“Talbert nodded 
e that,” he ам 
When the buuer set the breaklast 
sry the اسا‎ Talbert wid. “Reel 
do you know any jokes?” 
едит odd out. impamively 
through the face an improvident nature 
had neglected to animate. 
“yokes si” he inquired, 
"You know.” said ‘Talbert. "Jollities" 
Redfield stood by the bed like a 
corpse whose casket had been upended 
and removed 
fell, sir; he said, a full thirty sec 
when 1 was a boy 1 


"Yes?" said Talbert eagerly 

"1 believe it went somewhat as fol- 
lows." Redfeld sid. "When—uh— 
When is a portmanteau not a 

“No, no,” saîd Talbert, shaking his 
head, “I mean dirty jokes” 

Redfelds eyebrows soared. The ver 
macular was like a fish in his face. 


seg tos a مه‎ 
En 
ESI tme ди ка 
Y'A hat the chauficur в more likely 
ER 

"You know any dirty jokes, Harri 
а تسد سل‎ 
سات ږن‎ ка 
re? 

омет 
iceman et سه‎ 
3 en nii 
MI I S 

7 

eet bch p‏ ما 

eee 
to the tenth floor of the Gault Building. 

et 
Er UE 
Edo ee na 

Xil 

his life but had exacted a ise from 
Е 
Ben 
Е 

E 

Gr. dM 
een 
en 

ee‏ پا سلو 
tionist, Talbert was ushered into a spar-‏ 
СЕСЕ‏ 
БЫ of de Somes be‏ 
ux cul‏ 
E‏ او 
E ae i‏ 

Da CE MN 

аси 

“First of all.” said Talbert, "Do you 


know any dirty نز‎ 

Recovering, Mr. Axe t Talbert 
the one about the monkey and the ele- 

nt 

Talbert joued it down. Then he hired. 
the agency to investigate the men Un- 
Че Lyman had phoned and uncover 
anything that was meaningful. 

After he left the agency, Talbert be- 
gan making the rounds with Harrison. 
Не heard a joke the first place they 
went 

“There's this midget in a frankfurter 
suit, see?” it began. 

Te was a day of buoyant discovery 
Talbert heard the joke about the crow- 
eyed plumber in the harem, the one 
about the preacher who won an eel at 
а таве, the one about the fighter pilot 
do vin down ln lames at de one 
about the two Girl Scouts who lest their 
cookies in the laundromat. 

Among others 


“1 want.” said Talbert, "one round- 
trip airplane ticket to San Francisco and 
а reservacion at the Hotel Millard Fi 

“May 1 ask.” asked Unde Lyman, 
"why iR 

"While making the rounds with Har- 
rion today," explained Talbert, "а 
‘slesman of ladies undergarments told 
me that а veritable cornucopia of ofi- 


color jokes exists in the person of Harry 


Shuler, bellboy at the Millard Filmore. 
This salesman said that, during a three 
day convention at that hotel, he had 
heard more new 


es from Shuler than 


те going to? 


"mid Talbert 

is strongest 

"de Lyman. "Why 
do you do these things?” 

“am searching,” sald Talbert, sim 


ply, 

"For what, dammit!” cried Uncle Ly- 
man. 

iur erning” sid Tate. 

Uncle Lyman covered his eyes: "You 
are the image of your mother” he de- 
dared. 

"Say nothing of her." charged Tal 
beet “she war фе finest woman who 
ever trod the earth.” 

“Then how come she got ampled to 
death at the funeral of Rudolph Valen- 
tino?" Unde Lyman charged back. 

"That isa base canard,” said Talbert, 
“and you know it Mother just hap- 
eed bes مه وسم‎ ne 
May to bringing food to the Orphans 
of The Disolute Seamen — one of her 
‘many charities — when she was acciden- 
tally caught up in the waves of hysteri. 
‘Gl women and swept to her awful end. 


A pregnant silence bellied the vast 
room. Talbert stood at د‎ window look- 
ing down the hill at Lake Bean which 
his father had had poured in 1928. 

"Think of ig” he said after د‎ mo 
ments reflection. "The nation alive 
with offcolor jokes the world alivel 
And the same jokes, Uncle, the some 
jokes. How? How! By what strange 
means do these jokes o'erleap oceans, 
span continents? By what incredible 
machinery are these jokes promulgated 
over mountain and dale? 

He turned and met Unde Lyman's 
mesmeric stare. 

“I mean to know.” he said. 

At ten minutes before midnight Tal- 
bert boarded ihe plane for San Fra 
cisco and took a seat by the window, 
Fifteen minutes later the plane roared 
down the runway and nosed up into the 
black sky. 

Talbert tumed to the man beside 
him. 

“Do you know any dirty jokes, sir 
he inquired, pencil poised. 

The man stared at him. Talbert 
наред. 

“Oh, T am som" he said, 
eni 


Rever: 


When they reached the room Talbert 
gave the bellboy a crisp fvedollar bill 
and asked to hear a joke. 

Shuler told him the one about the 
man sitting by the runway eating an on- 
ion, se? Talbert listened, toes kneading 
inquisitively in his shoes. The joke com. 
cluded, he asked Shuler where this and 
similar jokes might be overheard, Shuler 
said at a wharf spot known as Davy 

(continued on page 26) 


TO VICTOR BELONGS THE SPOILS 


jester borge made $2,000,000 on broadway's longest solo 


personality BY ALBERT C. LASHER 


849 حا كميدي يديم‎ usually considered 
prety heathy lora Broadway show, For 

healthy is historical. The one 

ly chalked په‎ ۱٠٨ 

are. greed ever two million bucks in 
the bargain, amd is now accumul 
tour, isa пој holy Dane who wi 
Employed im a funeral parlor: Vict 
Borge 

е solo show has been red by others 
Cornelis Oti Skinner, Maurice Cheva 
Hier Joyce Grentel, Emlyn Williams 
idees al), Dut never with the su 
C enjoyed by the Baty Mr. Borge. 
оа this in spite of (or because of) the 
(aet tha he ened basically the same ma 

Tel he lad been wing for years in 
ght dubs, on radio, records and tele 

Borge plays the piano. which is some 
times funny He abo give short lectures 
fan susie, which are always funny. In 
fact he can scarcely open his mouth 
Without provoking lighter 

This dometis has very little to do 
wid what he save, During hi SIU per 


“There will be no curtain calls 
because there is no cast, so we 
don't have to weit fo see who 
gets the most applause.’ 


VICTOR (continued) 


"It was hard for me to learn to speak English. In Denmark we speak with a “The Baldwin plano people 
ghahghghgh and here you speak with а thihththth. The translation from _ have asked me to announce 


ghghghghgh to ththththth is quite a translation.“ 


“This is the second Hungarian Rhapsody by 
Schlitz, the junior composer from Wisconsin.” 


"| don't know this number 
аз well as another I am not 
too familiar with. In fact, 
this one I don't know at all.” 


that this is а Steinway.” 


“Is this too drafty for you?“ 


for example, he announced 
а straight face: my EIS 
romance, law night vas my BIBth 
Performance” He paused. "Tomorrow 
Fil пу 820th performance” The 
Audience laughed سماسس"‎ For 
mally aired Borge tted his well 
tered head to ont sid, lild one eye 
brow and shrugged almost imperceptibly, 
as though he couldn't see what var so 
fanny. Reading his words on paper, you 
share we ledig. They aren't funny. 
Thai ithe words arent funny. Boi 
when Borge speaks then a myuerious 
Sicheny парна them ino high ho 


PHOTOGRAPHY RY WERNER WOLF "will now play some excerpts. There 
are two reasons why | do excerpts. 
One is I don't know the whole thing. 
Thot is the other reason, too.” 


Seated at the plano, he will announce going to have an intermision pretty ship to one another, When he notices 
Chopin wrote the next number in four soon” The audience would tuer. Hed his audience is confused he attempts to 
Macs, then mumble: “Because he had to hesitate а moment, smile some more, clear things up. The explanation com 


move four times.” The audience breaks strike a sincere attitude and add: “I plicates matters even more and the re 
up. И Red Skelton delivered the same thought you'd like to know that.” The sult is convulsing, 

line, he'd get stony silence udience would roar. Any other top Вие two hours of this would have been 

At the wart of his show he would ask comedian would cut off the heads of hs hard مر‎ take, Borge divided his sh 

for requests from the audience, explain- writers if they tried w oist such mate into three parts: straight piano, mono. 
ing: “I do not usually do request num- rial on h logue without piano and “pianologues, 
hers... unless I have been asked to do But Borge has по writer, He does a sort of stunted piano rectal with ver 
#0” Then he'd turn to the keyboard not even write his own material. He just balized program notes, 

and announce: "This request is froma makes it up as he goes along. He has — One of Hurge’s most famous sketches, 
lady... at least 1 sincerely hope so.” mastered the art of putting together wo which, for the sake of a title, can be 


jectly consiructed sentences that called The Borge Method of Punctua 
ly connected and at the fon, had an origin typical of much of 
ление no relation {continued on page 60) 


HOW NOW, BROWN COW? 


Log 


article BY JAMES F. PEIRCE 


texas taw and the men who make and 
keep it have always been unique. In 


witness to this fact is a legal 


years back. The opi 
stration of د‎ farmer's bull yearling by 
employees of the Agricultural and Me. 
chanical College of Texas after the bull 
had broken into the pasture of the Dairy 
Husbandry Department and serviced sev 
eral cows “The dairy hands lassoed 
him and castrated him. He was hot and 
mad and as а result was found dead in 
the pasture the next day.” The farmer 
demanded and received 5 1 
"ment for the death of the bull. When 
the College submitted this bill to the 
Comptroller of Public Accounts for pay- 
ment, the comptroller asked the Office 
ol the Attorney General for an opinion 
as to whether this was a proper charge 
to be paid from State funds. The opin 
ion, slightly edie and. abridged. 


college а 
State Tressurer for a like amount lo 
reimburse local funds 
vom available sources of informa 
sion it appears that the Agricultural and 
Mechanical College of Texas, in addi 
instructing the youth of Texas 
Y ecg Vn inary. 
سینا‎ calle of various and diese 
‘The particular department of 
ge ene diy it а perci 


the attorney general of texas grew eloquent 


over an ex-bull’s deep despair 


this beneficient work is the Department. 
of Dairy Husbandry. In order to propa 
fate and rear these fer and Detter 
imens of cattle, it is necessary 10 

He enclosures corrals, pens, cov Tot, 
and pastures, wherein said caule may 
feed وه‎ nutritious grases and inhale 
fresh air containing د‎ cent of 
cone, Alien еа 
furnished this institution by the State of 
Texas. 

“The eventful day on which occurred 
the great tragedy which gave rie to 
سور‎ inquiry, several of these fine heifers 
экпе by the State were in one ol the 
tates pastures. In an adjoining pasture 
(here dwelt an unpretentious bull just 
budding into young bullhood. This bull 
was just a common, ordinary, proletarian, 
ball belonging to the ‘common herd. 
Не could not and did not boast of an 
illustrious ancestry. He had been born 
and raised in an unpretentious, unsophis 
ticated manner. Не knew nothing of 
the ways of the world, had never heard 
اد‎ elite society. On this particular morn- 
ing, he arose early as had been 
om from early youth and, as 
raised country bull should. “bellowed a 
وشي‎ o the dawning sin? lt was a 

ght September worn. The air was 
fragrant with autumn flowers, cool and 
invigorating—just such a morning as is 
calculated to fll any well-raised. well ed 
bull. young or old. with “pep. His bel- 
low was walted on the perfumeladened 
autumn breeze to the adjoining pasture. 
herein dit the well ed evet poomi, 
deck and softeyed maidens of aristoc- 
مور‎ belonging to ‘of Texas and 
particular pride of the Department of 


Dairy Husbandry. These young “blue 
bloods or at lc some of the, څه‎ 
dently паек the innocent сето 
cence of this young bull as an attempt 
fr an invitan to start د‎ аон, vo 
vom seres Ше way there came an an- 
Swer, not د‎ deep, Das, unmelodious roar 
2 of distat thunder, but à tremulous, 
Sympathetic. slt, cventoned mod 
“This young bull had heard many ‘co? 
before, but none such as this, Te seemed 
مد‎ if someone vas calling him, ес being 
Soung and unacquainted with the ways 
Of ehe world. he could not understand 
Me stood as in د‎ dream. ماو‎ the call 
ame. He felt himel! being irresistibly 
Save in the direction from which this 
wonderful sound emanated. He an- 
سه‎ the call. The пацов was on 
He had not advanced lar belore he div 
covered the cause for the peculiar fel 
ing in his breast. There, just acros the 


Tekee she sod a beautiful. young, sft 

eyed heiter. iyi 
She advanced 10 meet 

lenge A asin va 


im low tones wa 
will never be known 
unless that beauteous, prizewinning 
heiter tells the моту. But evidently she 
did mot ask for his Lamy tre 
did, she cared not that 
bost of any of his progenitors havin 
won blue ribbons. She was in love, ane 
Jt made no difference 
these young and trusting hearts th 
they were separated not only by an im- 


amable social 
Sande barbed lose 
هلوک‎ at кофа and knows no bar. 


(eoneluded он page 4°) 


19 


warm weather tailoring for the man-about-business 


Executive suits left to right: summer-weight dacron-wool blend in 
gray-brown Glen plaid by Springweave (Palm Beach), in the new 
"Savoy model,” natural cut, three button, about $50. Olive shade 
spring-weight gabardine in Ivy League cut, three button, tapered 
shoulder, pleotless trousers with belted back, tailored by Max- 
well, about $70. A summer tradition, the cord suit interproted 
in two new, natural models by Haspel, blended of 75% dacron, 
25% cotton, tan, gray and blue, about $40. The elegance of silk: 
a natural cut model in light beige Dupioni silk casting about $75. 


suits” This advance ti 
cation of whether the compound 
of tailor and engineer will depend on 


portable battery power or atomic energy 
(or perhaps we will just plug ourselves 
into any convenient outlet). All of 


which tumbles us pell-mell into the bat 
Че of survivalwidh-propriety through 


attire BY FRANK CARIOTI 


the summer heat, and а stout brawl it's 
going to be, 
who ever 


tical step is the 


ih knee length. 


оп the market, Mut the Боп 


skish individualism in the of&ce 
acceptance 
ence rooms of 


EXECUTIVE SUIT 


and ing to make many 


22 


$ 


“No you don't, sister!" Bonnie cried. 


THE SHOOTING OF 
JUDGE PRICE 


there was nothing the 
widow browning wouldn’t 
do to win her man 


yunet wane rcr was а disinctively 
handsome man in is leisurely fifties, د‎ 
widower lor nearly a decade, amd lor 
any more years than that he had been 
prestling judge of the county court 
Everyone who had eser known Judge 
Price thought of him as being serupa 
lously honest, Taieminded to а БМИ. 
and, as he offen said to hinsell deer: 
Ent to the honor of womanhood. It was 
اسو‎ if anybody could be found who 
xl ever سم‎ him lal to take oll his 
Por wen бе phe to a woman or ung 
girl of amy age 
propr ore o e reasons hy Judge 
rice was beloved by ao many propi 
was because of his unfailing habit of 
having د‎ friendly ward lor everybody 
he spoke to, mew and women alike. Be 
ing tore than six feet tall with bushy 
tiki turning ay and aking 


ly nature, 
Judge Price's five sons and daughters 
had married and moved away, and he 
а large red-brick house 


lojed an elderly Negro maid. 
who went to his howe carly 
په‎ and prepared his meals 

Y went hone Alter supper at 
{continued on Page 32) 


fiction BY ERSKINE CALDWELL 


PLAYBOY 


“I made а deal with the Essex: they pay ту 
rent and I keep their rooms filled.” 


pictorial 


JAZZ RECORD JACKETS GO 


Ja y 


the middle has come a powerful ong 
ine John MeChrmack biu 
Bered the sins of Mother Machree 
Sheiks and Shebas dan ше 
Charleston د مر‎ windup Victrola in 
the Roaring Twente, but during 
the Depresion everyone took ta ТЕ 
dio, where the music was ler, د‎ 
imple of brother named, Dorsey 
billed their new orchestra as "Radio 
Neat Name Band: and about the 
ولت‎ one Isining io ue phone 
graph was RCA Vicors dog, In ihe 
Ti Thirties records enjoyed a re 
vival, wing became king and every 
tne began Collecting recrdinp of Hs 
favorite dance Band: کسه‎ 
fad. jun eliminated ihe crank and 
ha did the same 
swing 18 Бор, progrenive and the 
cool fool, antl fellow named 
Sinaua reminded folks that croo 
Thymes with سم‎ but nothing very 
Special happened in the record bud 
Ги In 1948 something 


nos until 
spectacular happened. In an accel 
trated we. when man hal just 


broken through the sound barrier, 
was about to crack the four minute 
mile, rated his automobile by is 
horsepower, and tried w do every 
from racing to reading and 
little faster dan 
Columbia Records re 
1 ing speed from 78 
RPM to 38. This permitte 
lovers to read the labels on 
ords while they were playing; the long 
play microgroove recording also 
ushered in a new era in high fidelity 
recorded sound. 
Full orchestras filled living rooms 
wih full, living music: velvet toned 
woubadars practiced their melodic 


QU na а 
Seren 
ae 
topo een 
en come es 


MULLIGAN yan 


[CONTE GANDOLI] 


Smart covers 
help boost 
LP sales 


THE DAVE 

BRUBECK 

QUARTET 
т 


٢٢ o 


291 


PLAYBOY 


26 


SOURCE (continued trom page 14) 


Jones Locker Room а 
arly that evening, alter drinking 
with one ol the Went Coast represent 
tives of Bean Enterprises. Talbert took 
a taxi to Davy Jones Locker Room. En- 
tering its dim, woke fogged interior, he 
took а place at the bar, ordered a Screw- 
driver and began to listen. 

"Within an hour's time he had written 
down the joke about the old maid who 
Caught her nose in the bathtub faucet, 
the one about the three traveling sales. 
men and the farmer's ambidextrous 
dite, the one aout the nurse who 

ought they were Spanish olives am 
furter suit. Talbert wrote this last 
under his original transcript 
underlining changes in context attribut- 
able to regional influence. 

‘At 10:16, a man who had just told 
‘Talbert the one about the hillbilly ewins 
and their wohcaded sister said that 
Tony, the bartender, was a virtual fau- 
ces Ot لق ان‎ jokes, limericks, عم‎ 

tes, epigrams and proverbs. 

ree are EN 
asked Tony for the major source of his 
lewdians. After reciting the limerick 
about the sex of the asteroid vermin, the 
hartender referred Talbert to a Mr. 
Frank Bruin, salesman, of Oakland, who 
med not to be there that night. 

albert, at once, retired to د‎ tele 
shone directory where he discovered 
Eve Frank Bruits in Oakland. Eotcring 
а booth with a coat pocket sagging 
Shange. Talbert began dialing chert. 

"Two of the five Frank Bruins were 
salesmen, One of them, however, was in 
Alcatraz at the moment. Talbert traced 
the remaining Frank Bruin to Hogan's 
Alleys in Onkland where his wife said 
that, as usual on ‘Thursday nights, her 
husband was bowling with the Moon- 
light Mattress Company All-Stars 

Quitting ihe bar, Talbert charred 
a tx and started across the bay to Од 
land, toes in ferment. 

Veni, vidi, vici? 

Bruin was not a needle in a haystack, 
دون‎ ea cab EE Iu 

еу his eye was caught by a 
huddle اه‎ men encircling а portly. тоу. 
domed sp Approaching, Talbert 
was just ۱١ time to ear the punch line 
{allowed by an explosion of composite 
Tougher. It was the punch line that in- 
wigued. 

"Му God" cried we acres" Mr. 
Bruin had uttered. “ ‘1 thought you said 
а banana splitt” 

‘This variation much excited Talbert 
who saw in it а verification of a new 
element the interchangeable kicker. 

When the group had broken up and 
drifted, Talbert accosted Mr. Bruin and, 
introducing himself, asked where Mr. 
Bruin had heard that joke, 

“Why d'ya ask, boy?” asked Mr. Bruin. 

Ко reason,” said the crafty Talbert. 

don't remember where 1 heard it, 

boy” seid Mr. Bruin finally. “Excuse 
me, will ya?" 

Talbert tailed after him but received 


mo satisfaction — unless it was in the 
مسر‎ definite impression that Bruin was 
concealing something 

Later, riding back to the Millard Fil 
more, Talbert decided to put an Oak- 
land ‘detective agency on Mr. Bruin's 
trail to sce what could be seen. 

"When Talbert reached the hotel there 
as telegram waiting for him at the 


hun. RODNEY TABA RECIIVED LONG 
DISTANCE CALL FROM MB. GEORGE 
LOCK, CARTHAGE нота. CHICAGO, 
WAS TOLD JORE ABOUT MET I 
SALAMI SUIT. MEANINGFUL? ахи. 
Talbert's eyes ignited. 
“Tally.” he murmured, “ho.” 
‘An hour later he had checked out ul 
سس ام که اسا‎ ae صا‎ 
and caught a plane for Chicago. 
Pr tunes Mer be had llt ie. 
hotel, a man in a dark pinstripe ap- 
proached the desk clerk and asked for 
the room number of Talbert Bean Ш. 
When informed of Talbert's departure 
the man grew steelyeyed and immedi- 
ately retired to a telephone booth. He 
‘emerged ashen. 


» sorry" said the desk clerk “Mix 
ter Bullock checked out this morning” 

"Oh." Talberts shoulders sagged. All 
night on the plane he had been check- 
ing over his notes, hoping to discern a 
plier to the joker whith, would + 
Compass type, area of genesis and 
coc. He was weary with illes оп. 
centration. Now chin 

"And be left no forwarding address?" 
he asked. 


Following a bath and luncheon in his 
room, a slightly refreshed Talbert set 
ed down with the telephone and the 
directory. There were EN 
locks in Chicago. “Talbert checked them 
off as he phoned. 

At 3:00 o'clock he slumped over the 
receiver in a dead slumber, At 4:21, he 
regained consciousness and completed 
the remaining eleven calls, The Mr. 
Bullock in question was not at home, 
said his housekeeper, but was expected 
io that evening. 

“Thank you kindly; sid a blenry 
eyed Talbert and, hanging up, there- 
upon collapsed on the bed only to 
awake د‎ few minutes past seven and 
dress quickly. Descending to the street 
he gulped down a sandwich and a glass 
of mülk, then hailed a cab and made the 
hour ride to the home of George Bu 


Talbert introduced himself and sid 
he had come to the Hotel Carthage 
arly that afternoon to see him. 
Wy?" asked Mr. Bullock. 
Haast e سخب لس‎ Во 
ıt joke about the midget in the 
Shani wit? aid Talbert ٢ 
"s 
ый — 
“I heard what you sid sir," said Mr. 


Bullock, “though 1 cannot say that your 
oec doy meee ee 

“I believe, sit.” challenged Таа 
“that you are hiding behind fusu 

“Behind fustian, sir?” retorted Bul- 

km aad — 

game is up, sin 
bert in a ringing voice, "Why don't you 
admit it and tell me where you got that 
joke from?" 

71 have not the remotest conception 
ої what youre talking about, st!” anap- 
ped Bullock, his words belied by the 
pallor of his face. 

‘Talbert flashed د‎ Mona Lisa smite, 

“Indeed?” he said. 

‚And, turning lightly on his heel, he 
left Bullock trembling in the doorway. 
As he seitled back against the taxica 
seat again, he saw Bullock still wand 
ing there, staring at him. Then Bullock 
whirled and was gone. 

“Hotel Carthage,” said Talbert, satis 
fed with hi blu 

Riding bach, he though of Bullock's 
agitation and د‎ thin smile tipped uj 
Seu a ee hes 
а was being run to earth. 
Naw it شا‎ surmise war valid here 
would likely be — 

А lean man in а raincoat and a d 
sing on de bed when Taller e 
tered his room. The man's mustache, 
like a muddy toothbrush, twitched. 

“Talbert Bean?" he asked, 


‘Talbert bowed, 

“The same.” he said. 

he man, a Colonel Bishop, retired, 
looked at Talbert with metal blue eyes. 


“What is your game, sir?" he asked 
вы. 

"I don’t understand,” toyed Talbert, 
1 think you de. mid the Colonel, 
"and you are to come with me.” 

“OR?” mid Talbert. 

He found himself looking down the 
barrel of a 45 calibre Webley-Fotbery, 

"Shall we?" said the Colonel. 

But of course,” said Talbert coolly. 
eve not come all this way to resist 


The ride in the private plane was a 
long one. The windows were blacked: 
‘out and Talbert hadn't the faintest idea 
in which direction they were flying. 
Neither the pilot nor the Colonel spoke, 
and Talbert's attempts at conversation 
were discouraged by a chilly silence. 
‘The Colonel's pistol, still leveled at Tal 
berrs chest, never wavered, but it did 
mot bother Talbert. He was exultant. 
АШ he could think was that his search 
was coding; he was. at last, nd 


the headwaters of the dirty joke, After 
a time, his head nodded and he dozed 
= to dream of midgets in frankfurter 
suits and actress who seemed obsessed 
by заарага or banana splits or same- 
times both. How long he slept, and what 
boundaries he may have crossed, Talbert 
pever knew. He was awakened by a swift 
loss of altitude and the steely voice of 
Colonel Bishop: “We are landing, Mr 
"d lones grip tightened on 

Mu rip igh 
“Talbert offered no resistance when his 
(continued overleaf) 


“Oh, hello, dear—I thought 1 saw you go down 
for the third time.” 


PLAYBOY 


SOURCE (continued rom page 26) 


eyes were blindfolded. Feeling the Web- 
ley-Fosbery in the small of his back, he 
stumbled out of the plane and crunched 
over the ground of a well-kept airstrip. 
There was a nip in the air and he felt 
а bit lightheaded: Talbert suspected 
they had landed in a mountainous re- 
gion; but what mountains, and on what 
Fontinent, he could not guess, His cars 
amd nose conveyed nothing of help to 
his churning mind. 

He was shoved — none too gently — in- 
to an automobile, and then driven wilt- 
ly along what felt like a dirt road. The 
thes crackled over pebbles and twigs. 

‘Suddenly the blindfold was removed. 
“Talbert blinked and looked out the win- 
dows, Te was a black and cloudy night: 
he could see nothing but the limited 
vista afforded by the headlights 

"You are well isolated.” he said, ap- 
preciatively, Colonel Bishop remained 

helipped and vigilant 
Alter a fftcenminute ride along the 
dark road, the car pulled up in front of 
a tall, unlighted house. As the motor 
‘was cut Talbert could hear the pulsing 

‘of crickets all arous 
rasp, of crickets all around. 


Colonel Bishop. 
bent our of Ше 
car and vas escorted up the vide porch 
Steps by ihe Colonel. Behind. the car 
pulled away into the nighe. 

Inside the house, chimes bonged hol- 
lowly ss the Colonel pushed a button: 
They waited in the darknes and, in د‎ 
en moments, approsching footsteps 


sounded. 
A tiny aperture opened in the bevy 
سه‎ Hacking = bape, Божа 


Qe سم ور‎ 
а 
سو‎ воо ај 
Ы 
о 
ee НА Она 


‘The door opened. 

The owner of the eye was tall, gaunt, 
of indeterminable age and nationality, 
his hair a dark mass wisped with gray. 
His face was all angles and facets, his 


piercing behind ar, hor rimmed‏ هو 
د glasses. He wore funnel trousers und‏ 
Checked jacket.‏ 

is is the Dean," said Colonel 


Bishop. 

How do you do," said Talbert 

me in, come in,” the Dean invited, 
extending his large hand to Talbert. 
“Welcome, Mister Bean." He shafted a 
scolding look at Bishop's pistol. "Now. 
Colonel,” he said, “indulging in melo- 
dramatics again? Put it away, dear fel- 
low, put it away. 

le can't be too careful," grumped 

the Colonel 

“Talbert stood in the spacious grace of 
the entry ball looking around. His gaze 
settled, presently, on the cryptic smile 
of the Dem, who wid: е Р 

"So. You have found us out, sir'* 

Talberts toes whipped like pennants 
in a gale. 

"Have D” he covered his excitement 


with. 
“Yes.” said the Dean. "You have. And. 


a masterful display of investigative ima 
ition it was" 

“Talbert looked around, 

So." he said, voice bated, "It is here.” 


"Vex" said the Dean, “Would you 
like to же й?" 

“More than anything in the world.” 
said Talbert, fervently. 

“Come then,” said the Dean, 

this wise?” the Colonel warned.‏ عا 

“Come,” repeated the Dean. 

Бе three men started down the hall- 
way. For a moment, a shade of premo- 
nition darkened Talbert's mind. It was 
being made so easy. Was it a trap? In د‎ 
second the thought had slipped away, 
washed off by a current of excited curi- 


“a 

They started up a winding marble 

T How did you suspect" the Dean عا‎ 
low did you " 

quired "That o wo sty — what prompted 

you to probe the matter?” 

just thought,” said Talbert mean-‏ لد 

ingfuly “Here are all these jokes yet no 

опе seems to know where they come 

from. Or care.” 

“Ves” observed the Dean, “we count 
upon that disinterest. What man in ten 
se ee لطي سه‎ bee 

ıt joke? А in memorizing the 
joke lor future use, he gives no thought 
to its source. This, of course, is our pro- 
tection.” 

The Dean sailed at Talbert, "But 
mou" he amended, “from men such as 
you 

Talbert’s Hush went unnoticed 

They reached the landing and began 
walking along a wide corridor lit om 
‘each side by the illumination of cande- 
labra. There was по more talk. At the 
end به‎ the comidor they tured ight 

in front of massive, iton- 
Cod 


his spine. What if it were а trap? He 


swallowed, then squared his shoulders 
The Dean had said it. It was too late to 
Stop now. 


reat door racked open. 

“EL vola sald the Dean. 

Des ipe was an اسنا دس‎ 
لوو الس‎ carpeting sponged benca 
Talbert's fcet as he wall MI A the 
Colonel and the Dean. At репе in- 
tervals along the ceiling Hong music. 
Ttg speakers: Talbert سور‎ 
the Co Parisienne. Hin gue tuned 

парон tapestry on ‘which 

pan acts ensued shone the eche 

moo, “Happy s the Man Who i Make 
ing Something: 

. he murmured. 


“Hee; 


the Dean. 
Talbert shook his head wonderingly 
"To think,” he said. 
The Dean before د‎ glass wall 
and, braking. Talbert peered imo an 


обо. Among its rich appointments 
Sirode د‎ young mam im د‎ ripe lk 
weskit with brass buttons, gesturing 
meaningfully with a long cigar while, 
‘rosslegged on a leather couch, sat a 
happily sweatered blonde of rich dimen- 
sions. 

The man stopped briefly and waved 
to the Dean, smiled, then returned to 
his spirited dictating. 

"One of our best,” the Dean said. 

“But,” stammered Talbert, “I thought 
that man was on the staff "ب إن‎ 

“He is.” said the Dean. "And, 
spare time, he is alo one of us" 

Talbert’ followed om echtem 
numbed legs. 

"But 1 had no idea,” he said. “I pre. 
sumed the organization 10 be composed. 
ol men like Bruin and Bullock." 

“They are merely our means of pro- 

tion,” explained the Dean. "Our 
wordof-mouthers, you might say. Our 
Creators come from more exalted ranks 
— executives, statesmen, the better p 
fesional comics, editors, novelists — 

The Dean broke off as the door to 
опе of the other ofices opened and a 
barrely, bearded man in hunting clothes 
‘emerged. He shouldered past them mut- 
tering true things to himself, 

"ОВ again?” the Dean asked pleas 
ad, The big man granted, It vas a 
true grum. He clumped off, lonely for 
a veld : 

“Unbelievable;" said Talbert. "Such 
men as these?” 

“Exactly,” said the Dean. 


in his 


Dean smiling his mandarin smile, 
Colonel his lips as if antici 
pating the kis of د‎ коа 

“But where did it a 
Talbert asked. 


"That is history's secret,” rejoined the 
Dean, “veiled behind time's opacity. Our 
venture does have its honored past, 
however. Great men have graced ith 
аме Ben Franklin, Mark Twain, 
Dickens, Swinburne, Rabelais, Balac: 
‘oh, the honor roll is long. Shakespeare, 
‘of coune, and bis friend Ben Jonson 
Sull farther back, Chaucer, Boccaccio 
Further yet, Horace and Seneca, Demos: 
thesenes and Plautus Aritaphanes 
Apulieus Yea, in the palaces ol Futank. 
hamen was our work done; in the black 
templo of Ahriman, the pleasure dome 

ubla Khan. Where did it begin? 
Who knows? Scraped on rock, in many 
a primordial cave, are certain drawings. 
And there are those among us who be 
lieve that these were lft by the earliest 
members of the Brotherhood, But this, 
of course, is only legend . 

Now they had reached the end of the 
hallway and were starting down a cusl 
ioned ramp. 

, "There must be vast sums of money 

involved in this” said Talbert 
"Heaven forfend,” declared the Dean, 
sopping short. "Do not confuse our 
Our workers 


Forgive me; albert said. ‘Then, 
(Cóptimued on page 70) 


= 


1d the pomegranate, have been red, 


BY THOMAS MARIO playtoy's J red. وو‎ 


THE LIQUID APPLE 


PLAYBOY 


JUDGE PRICE 


For a long time it had been common 
knowledge in Agricola that Fem Brown- 
ing. who had been a widow for the past 
five years, had made up her mind to go 
to any extreme that маз necessary in 
order to get Judge Price to marry her, 
and many people often wondered if 
there could be a limit to what she would 
do to gain what she had set her heart 
оп. So far, as most people knew, Fern 
had used every means she could think 
ol to induce Judge Price о ask Per vo 
be his wife, but she was both resource: 
ful and persistent, and she had no 
thought of failing for lack of effort and 
determination. 

“If there's а female in town who can 
get what she wants, fair means or foul,” 
fone of the married women said, “itll be 
Fern Browning, You just wait and sec. 
Shell find a way 

ет was no longer a young woman, 
but even at forie she was more 
youthful and attractive in many ways 
than some women half her age. She had 
retained ber slender figure, she had cul- 
tivated a pleasant personality, and her 
eager smile was always provocative and 
winsome. Besides, her clothes were al- 
ways becoming to her and she was right- 
fly proud of her chocolate colored ai, 

Most of the people in Agricola 
become accustomed to seeing Fem 
Browning stroll along Main Street once 
کو‎ twice a week at the time when Judge 
Price was m the habit of leaving thc 
courthouse in the ate afternoon. He ak 
wa on the white stone steps 
Under cofrade o. te. Didi 
and lighted а cigar before continuing 
toward the street. If he bad been de 
layed im court for some reason, Fern 
went into the drug store and made a 
small purchase at the cosmetic counter, 
Amd alter that, if he still had not ap- 
peared under the colonnade, she would 
fo across the street to the post office and. 
у a few stamps: Ву dat ime, Judge 
Price was usually walking across the 
tueeshaded courthouse lawn in his dig- 
fel manner, sd Ferm would wave o 

im in a gesture of surprise as thous 
the had no iden that ae had expected 
to see him. Then, while he was taking. 
Off his hat, she would hurry to him. 

“Tm so glad 1 happened to run into 

you like this, Wade," Fern would say 
athlesly when she reached him 
“I've been trying to find time all day to 
phone you and ask you to come to sup- 
‚it. There won't be any other 

int you and me, Wade,” 
“Well, Fern,” Judge Price would usu- 
ally му with a slight frown, “that’s a 
very kindly invitation from a very 
charming lady, and ١ do thank you. But 
as a mater of fact, ١ had planned to 
May at home tonight and review some 
important briefs. 1 don't see how 1 — 

Before he could say anything more, 
Fern would come closer and put her 
hand on his arm while she smiled at 
him enticingly. 

“Oh, Wade, those old briefs can wait 
a itle while. Ive planned to have ev- 
erything for supper that you like so 


(continued from poge 23) 


— 
X roy m 
mam ات شه‎ 
اس تس و لت‎ и 
fone to so much touble Just for you“ 
Se 1 E 
Бака fe dhat he could not 
ETT ET 
gleaming brown hair. سنا‎ without 
Е 
ie Price would smile say that 
Ср 
مرن‎ E 
وا‎ 
Iter that, Tem would squeeze his 
ea 
PE) me he went to Fem Brown: 
ing howe, which he had been doi 
LEE سلا‎ 
Bore eem 
‘meal and he was to have a chat 
LED Ber. 
Со gr 
hen the weather was wild and on 
CET E 
the furor. Kcr in the evening, Fem 
Se Eee 
ايساد لتا ساسا لا سا‎ peaceful 
D ELI 
together ње that m 
rr dam 
aiia, Кор tat обет 
cork سه ملس‎ 
erster 
pL 
Зет EI 
Y XE E 
EE UE 
Eit y 
E ENS 
et 
Bern 
ee 
85 oe 
سه سات‎ Око 


E 
E eie а 
WELT oe des 


not begun to wonder why it was that 
Judge Price was always firm and inalter- 
able each time he said he would be un- 
able to come to her house for supper on 
a Friday might. The more she thought 
‘about it, the more suspicious and upset 
she became, and she miade up her mind 
to find out where he went and what he 
did every Friday night for week after 
week and month after month 

"The next Friday afternoon Fern was 
walking slowly along the street in front 
of the courthouse when Judge Price 
crossed the lawn. As soon 23 he saw her, 
he stopped and took of his hat. This 
time she did not wave gaily, but went 
directly to where he stood and, with 
only a fleeting smile, aid that she would 
like to have him conie to her house for 
Supper that night. Judge Price thanked 
her in his usual warm manner for her 
invitation, but be alo shook his head 
firmly and told her that it would not be 
posible for him to visit her on that 
particular evening. 

That was exactly what she had ex 
pected him to say, and for the frst time 


she did not go closer and squeeze his 
Band intimately, Ica, without even 
a parting smile, Fern turned abrupt 
and walked away before he could speal 
lo her again. Standing there with his 
hat in hand, mystified by her conduct, 
he watched her with a perplexed frown 
er Hi Tace mn u of so 
"That night promptly at eight o'clock, 
ash had been n e babit doing fr 
many years, Judge Price left his house 
and drove down the street in his autor 
mobile. Fern had been sitting in her car 
nearby since dark, and she followed him 
as closely as she dared, Judge Price 
Stopped at the drug store and bought 
some cigars, and then he got back into 
his car and drove up Flower Street for 
three blocks. Не stopped the car in 
front of Bonnie Tyler's house. 
Watching from the corner, Fern saw 


J Price get out of his car, light one 
e canes 
nifed 


cigars, and then walk in his dig- 
manner to the front of the house, 
There he rang the bell, and after several 
moments the door was opened and Judge 
Price, taking off his hat and bowing, 
stepped inside. All the rooms in Bonnie 
Tylers house, both upstairs and down- 
stairs, were lighted, but the shades had 
been closed tightly over the windows 
and Fern was unable to see anything 
that was taking place 
paket” did not know how much time 
while she was trying to de 
Gide what to do next, but her whole 
body was trembling with the chill of the 
might air when she ran to the front door 
amd rang the bell. Almost at once the 
door was opened by Bonnie Tyler, and, 
before Bonnie could close and lock it 
‘securely, Fern ran past her into the hall, 
She had never been inside the house be- 
fore, and she had no idea where she was 
going, but at the end of the hall she 
saw a wide stairway leading to the عم‎ 
‘ond floor and she ran toward it. 

Fem had gone several steps up the 
stairway when Bonnie caught her by the 
arm and roughly jerked her backward 
from the stairs. 

lo you don't, sister" Bonnie said 
determinedly, pulling her away from 
the steps. "I don't know what you want, 
but whatever it is, it's not what you're 
going to do.” 

“Take your hands off met” Fern cried 

'pping at Bonnie's face. 

Am instant later, flinging her arms 
free from Bonnie's grasp, Fern took a 
pistol from her handbag and began fir 
ing it wildly. One of the bullets shat 
tered the glass in the front door and 
another one knocked plaster from the 
ceiling, Immediately after that there 
was complete silence in the house, and 
then suddenly one of the girls upstairs 
screamed. 

hat shows 1 know what I'm doing!" 
Fern said, waving the pistol recklessly, 
"Where is he?” 

Just then, Judge Price, unhurried and 
dignified, came down the stairway. Не 
stopped when he was about hallway 
and took off his hat and bowed to Fern 

“What im the world, Fern?" he sid, 
frowning slightly. "What does this 

(continued on page 71) 


THE PLEASURES OF PORTUGAL 


glowing wine, fishing towns and high-society sands 


travel BY PATRICK CHASE 


vorrucar — bless its _ 
country we know in Europe where wine 


the table d 
fined our wine bibbing to meals only, of. 
else that will tone up 

ог do more for the 
berhwed white port, 
sipped of a sunny morning кот the 
wicker depths of a chair on a cae ter 
(continued on page #2) 


BO un 


1 


MOVIE SCOUT 


Marion manages to look دمه‎ 
though Wed to a pest for magazine. 


Marion strikes © graceful pose in 
picture for girdle o 


S A PLAYMATE'S PHOTO ALBUM 


miss may's pictures illustrate a model's career 


тне Mav HAYAT is a New York model 
он ube со 

ing trom fshion photog 

vo posing for the covers ol dete‏ ولو 

Mario 

he to this 


parents al 
them in New Jersey 
all, with a striking 
15" gure that helps ex 

her success as a model, She considers 


ў 
سوت په‎ Karen har $ 
و سلې‎ ac Ta бо ба 
A py te arin nd | مل سومان اسان سوت‎ 
د‎ ny tn соба e бе شه‎ eram 
SS سا‎ a peus Scars سا‎ may roe e 


“advertising, essignments come turning point in her career. 
for more frequently than the 
fashion work models prefer. 


A sheet of соно prints of Marion posing prettily before د‎ mirror sug- 
gests the action of a тойоп picture ond adds life to her photo album. 


MISS MAY 


This candid зор on a tennis court token 
by c friend is in sharp contrast lo the 
formal photograph of Marion Scott, the 
model. Marion would rather play tennis; 
she enjoys sports ond Is good ol most. 


the envioble job of 
‘before shooting her ox Playmate for 
Paul few to New York especially دا‎ 
took these informal pictures of the 
\Wiple-page Playmate of the Month. 


FF 


supervise 
Preparation for Marion's pose ده‎ 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


We weis enjoying one of De ore sce 
tational Tale Bits the other evening, 
Sha during» ord lore sene. ve heul 
سل‎ vile sux ws n Ua лета 
theatre say, "Mommy, is this where he 
puts the pollen on her 


А psychologist is a man who watches 
try dle when د‎ beautiful gil 
enters the room. 


0 


on ste bed,‏ لست سو وسو اک 
Mri e i‏ 
E‏ 
E "‏ 
MU ING‏ 
ED EL‏ و 
Se‏ 


"Who" raged the ar 

"ld jou НН jas سا سه‎ 

you a few times you could loaf around 

the обес and neglect your work?” 
"My attorney,” coord his secretary. 


А bachelor is a man who believes in life, 
liberty and the happiness of pursuit. 


2 


IE ÉS 


He lion trainer had quit لسا‎ notice 
and the circus manager needed someone 
do replace him for the next nights show. 
He put an ad in the local paper and the 
next morning two applicants showed up 
‘outside his oce. One was a rather ord 


[4 


пагу looking young man and the other a 
ravishing, red. beauty. Neither 
‘one of them looked very much like a lion 


ў was desperate. 

“Allright.” he said. “here's د‎ whip. 
and a chair, and د‎ gun, Lets sce what 
Jou can do with Mg Leo over there 
Weil let you have the first try, mis, but 
be careful hes a mean onc. 

“The ravishing redhead strode past 
the whip, and the chair, and the gun, 


and empty handed, fearlessly entered the 


ig Leo rue, snarling, then came 
charging across the cage towards her 
with a ferocious roar. When the lion 
was almost upon her, the girl threw open 
her coat, Underneath, she was stark 
naked. Leo skidded to a stop and 
‘crawled the rest of the way on his belly; 
he muzzled the girl's fect with his nose, 
purred, and licked her trim ankles. 

“The astonished circus manager grinned 


happily and tumed to the popeyed 
young man. “Well, young (dar he 
asked, “think you can top that?” 

“Yeah,” breathed the man, "Just get 
that stupid lion out of there." 


"To me” said one, “he's a pain in the 
ned” um 


"Strange," sid the other, “I had a 
much lower opinion of him." 


"1 absolutely 
she exclaimed. 

“But. Gina,” explained the director, 
“all you have to do is point out the 
direction the outlaws wk when the 
sheriff and his pose ride up to you. 

1 know.” sald the sta, "but have you 
شور‎ the screen action in the scripti" 

"What do you mean?” 
‘Look how Pm supposed to point.” 
snapped the star. "Позу here that 1 am 
to place both hands behind my back, 
take a deep breath, turn north and say. 
“They went thatawayl ” 


Heard any good ones lately? Send your 
favorites to Party Jokes Editor, т AYUON, 
11 E. Superior St, Chicago 11, И, and 
earn an easy five dollars for each joke 
used. In case of duplicates, payment poes 
to frst received. Johescannot be returned. 


PLAYBOY 


42 


PORTUGAL 


Tace. It heightens your joy in the wig 
fling walk of sturdy trina fahwile, 
oily costumed as she passes with a head- 
Grid basket of glistening, fresh غه‎ 
осори» or the green-water refections 

3 feet of slantmasted, high! 
fragata fishing boats. bright 
Avabesques shimmering in the oily 
Of a lite harbor. 

As you might Rave gathered, we like 
Portugal. In fact, we never go to Europe 
our ‘staring ending eur iip 
there, And if we were to go back tomor- 
row (and tomorrow is the best possible 
time) weld start the same way we always 
do — with a cable to Senhor Jorge Rib- 
eiro in Lisbon for a reservation at his 
‘Aviz Hotel. Tt has only 26 double rooms 
and everybody, but everybody, wants to 
stay there, maybe because each room is 

shed with genuine antiques, incad 
ing the tapestried walls, all scrupulously 
matched in period. The раја, by 
contrast. ate modern —to make up for 
which, perhaps, the walls are inser with 
mosaic designs. 

“The Aviz, as we discovered on our first 
trip, used to be the home of the world's 
richest man, an Armenian-born oil mag- 
nate by the name of Gulbenkian. He 
didn't own it; he stayed there by choice, 
‘which will give you some idea of why the 
place has earned a reputation as one of 
ihe prot Jesi, Масе i al she 
word. Quite properly, therefore, 
Aviz serves what is probably the best 
[Ad A CEDE 

iced liver very specially seasoned) 
its bartenders pour the driest Martinis 
that side of the Atlantic. As if thats not 
enough. the Aviz maintains 100 servants 
مر‎ minister to the comfort and whims of 
за maximum of only 52 guests. 

Our second stop in Lisbon is always 
the Port Wine Institute on Rua Sao 
Pedro de Alcantara. It's fortunate that 
wwe have to give the driver that address 
only on the way there, rather than after 
several happy hours teaching our palates 
the sible ілася o more than 300 
varieties of Portugal's سور‎ popular 
product. It's an education that never 
fends, and one that should begin with a 
trip to Oporto and the terraced hillside 
vineyards of the Douro Valley 

Теа almost a joumey into another 

lly during the October 
vintage: Theres music everywhere, To 
the gay tootings of a rural piper, lon 
line! of men move out of the elled 
vineyards at a dancing jog tror, lugging 
140-pound baskets of grapes. То د‎ taster 
tune picked up by a guitar, other men 
dance kneedeep in great stone tanks, 
treading the cold, red grape mash in 
breathless four-hour shifts, refreshed as 
they jerk and jump by quick pulls of a 
viciously raw brandy. The girls cheer. 
the music gets Keener, the brandy passes 
faster and the dancing becomes more 
spirited until... but we digress. 

Wine, of course, is lost without song. 
and in Portugal, that means the fado. 
Lisbon’s Adega do Machado is as good 
a cellar spot as any 10 start listening, but 
youre likely to find something even 


tinted 
surge 


(continued from page 33) 


smote typical (or something from a recent 
RES Ме наа i hae i 
you try any of the spots in Bairro Alto 
or in the Alfama, the hillside warren of 
narrow streets, heavy with the ancient 
е of the Moon. Theres a more 
| classical jado sung at Coimbra, 
il وسوسو‎ ty long Mak کله‎ 
sul disti long 
slashed (olen into Wen) every ите 
they take on د‎ new girl friend. But the 
sireetsong fado, sot with African under 
Tone — that belongs in Lisbon 
Firs, the guitarists come into the can- 
delit room that is heady with che 
fragrance of wine. Two are strumming 
small round guitars, sweet and high 
pitched. A third man joins in, fingering 
the سوه‎ in د‎ deeper tone Now the 
Shaw Over Ber head, face drawn and 
папса? Her eyo dose in د‎ mask of 
inner pain — and the mel ош. 
ори, quiety a fni. undulating 
ike е great Аал swel that course 
ceaselessly up to Portugal's long coast 
Her voice sobs and murmurs, cries out 
at times, then pics delicately at the 
words: And she tells of black despair at 
of د‎ prostitute with à beantifal love, د‎ 


peters temible, lament, the атй 
ging for something that can never be 
You sce why we will go to any pains 
to hear the wel ings (And wt we 
reserve p = 
die aed Monte for cles n] 
Teil [olo has am overpowering 
beauty chat somehow explains Portugal 
the Portuguese and their proud history 


in a single fash of intimate insight. 


taste in going there. 
as there's another chair 
somewhere in the room, theyll not get 
up to make you welcome. "We like you." 
they seem 10 say. “and thats that. Now 
ome in and talk. And bring that wine 
НИ 
t would be a huckster tick am 
else lor waiters at one of the better 
restaurants to wear baggy blue overalls 
whitened by many маі». Its the 
most natural thing in the world at the 
Monte Mar in Guincho where they wear 
"em because they re easier. And wearing 
white عن‎ and tail, they might argue, 
isn't going to add to your enjoyment of 
their giant santola crabs, waiting for the 
broiler in a seawater pool of slimy green 
rock. 

Don't mistake the casual manner of 
the Portuguese for cold indifference; it 
is a gradousness, a perfect courtliness 
that you will see everywhere. As hosts, 
they want you to feel Пее. unrushed to 
savor the place: the walled cities of 
hilly Estremadura and the gothic wine 
cellars of Oporto, the almond groves of 
moorish Algarve province and the smart 
gambling resorts of the Costa do Sol, the 


Title fishing villages like Nazaré and the 
cosmopolitan capital, Lisbon, with its 
pastel hillside villas and street elevators 
that reach up to them. 

JL the Portuguese are casual, it is prob 
ably because they wish to mask a quiet, 
Burning pride in their land and the vay 
of life they've built through the cen. 
turies, a rather solemn but painfully un- 
obtrusive effort to see that you enjoy it 
all as deeply as they do, whether your 
tastes run to bull fighting in the amateur 
ring at Lisbon's Feira Popular or loung- 
ing on Estoril’ highsociety sands. 

Estoril during the Inst war counted 
more honesttogod and would-be spies 
to the square inch than any other 
neutral point on three continents. It vas 
quic s place., شه‎ any of the barkeeps 
there about those days when murder 
was committed ("accidenually." of course) 
for a scrap of paper and les, when even 
ме were questioned by police because 
‘our typewriter late at night in a hotel 
room sounded like а secret transmitter 
key in fast operation. Today, however, 
it’s just a grand resort with miles of awn- 
ingdoued white sands, a lot of good 
looking girls and unemployed kings liv 
ing on very little money. This you can 
do ss well as the kings since а good room 
at the Estoril Palace will set you back 
only $$ a day, 

We always try to stay awhile and to 
fan out from there, to Guincho for a 
huge S1 lobster on buttered rice at the 
Monte Mar, to Cascais, its bay doued 
with bobbing, bright net floats, and the 
Fim do Mundo restaurant near net 
draped fshing wharves where owner 
Antonio serves as عم‎ a codfish bacalhau 
as you'll ever meet and an even better 
bottle of white local Porca de Мика, То 
the orange groves and native markets of 
Setubal and sweet local pastries at Ще 
bakeshops on narrow side streets, to the 
‘castle of Pamela, massive with the weight 
оГ eight full centuries, and the lovely 
beach of Portinho de Arrabida, am 
further off, to Cape St. Vincent, 

You follow a winding road there, 
along which the fragrance of pine gives 
ad way to the tang, ol heather 

hen even that fades in the strong sea 
wind and youre standing on a high 
rocky point by a ruined hermitage with 
ап inadequate compass traced in cobbles 
‘on the grass, The sea sucks and howls 
in tunnels and blowholes it has cut 
under the diff and in its oponies you 
hear again the cries of seamen tacking 
tiny caravels past this point to push the 
boundaries of the medieval world out to 
America and across Asia, 

Of an evening at Estoril, of course, 
there's the Casino — with its night club 
and bars, dining and dancing. And like 
everybody ehe, when we've eaten as 
much as we possibly can and marveled at 
the slight bill, we go off to finish paying 
for our meal in a more civilized way at 
the gaming tables. These rooms are 
nominally a private club so you'll present 
your passport and pay a membership lee 
for the privilege of tosing away your 
‘money at roulette, baccarat or craps. Oh, 
ity honest. mind you — theres no fiv 

(concluded on page #2) 


it would be 

the biggest, 

the greatest, 

the most spectacular 
television show 

ever produced 


ups sen?” the Big Man ٥ 
nervously, Нод taber 
Ў 
زا‎ sack,” the Official Coordinator 
of TV Prodiaion replied. It is wham 
And bof. 1 give you my word.” 
"T give i back to you. Werd mean 
nothing. Is pictures that count. Flap 
“Sine: Map, lap." the Oficial Coordi 
nator aid, and dipped د‎ small needle 
into a lage vein But T tell you. 
B. P, there da nothing to worry about 
We have got thirty camera regular and 
y m سنا‎ For every dux, two 
мапа In fac, we have even gor 
Sri ims forthe standing. Nothing cn 
ko wrong. Nothing O. 
"The Big Man colaped imo a chair 
sud د سه‎ амбан ا‎ 
oa his neck. "1 dort know." he sid. 


on 


“Then, quos!” said the Oficial Coordinator. "Right in the old schwanzola!" 


THE MONSTER SHOW 


fiction BY CHARLES BEAUMONT 


he Big Man bakket pr 
и. en ns б 
DRIN ساسا‎ а 
Pate he Big Man ait 
а SAL 
SE ORAS адаи red و‎ 
Ed e et 
لسا دسا کسام سلوا‎ 
POE un de EE 
CER EO 
Sr 
a 


The Big Man 
= 


snbled slightly 
Mr. Average World 


Reety-0. Suddenly you sce that 
minutes to eight. You jab the autoray 

switch channels right away, il vou 
are sucker enough to be on another 
channel, which, thanks to these lousy 
feels at OBC, maybe vou аге. But not 
for long! Because for six months you 
have been bearing about it. The biggest. 
the greatest, the most spectacular, the 
must expensive production ever to hit 
the screen. Said 1 biggest? Said I great 


43 


PLAYBOY 


est? Suid T most spectacular? Father, 
this is a veritybobble mønster of a show! 
So what do we call it? Natcheroony 
The Monster Show! ‘eveevwooy wit. Ве 
waren er wnt you? Thee word 
Mr. Average World Family, are stampe 
imo your brain. You've seen them every 
‘where: billboards, leallets, sky-writing. 
magazine ads, the regular 13 minute 
daily commersh: and you've heard them. 
everywhere, 100: im busses and planes 
land eas, from your children —" 

“Meant to tell you." the Big Man in 
terrupted, "getting ai the children wis 
а good move; 

Vhat about the parrot?” 
he parrots was also а good move.” 
blush, B. P. But hearken O: There. 
you are. Are you there?” 

"Proceed om. Lam eas 

"Kay. Tt В one minute to eight. You 
аге shaking with excitement. Just like 
All the rest of the Folks everywhere ehe 
In the bars, in the theatres. in the hommes. 
Some with 9000٤ curvo sercens, some 
th modest Winchers, some even - like 
the cops andl all — with nothing but ей 
wiistpecpe But theyre with ya: you 
know that. Get the image, B. P. AN 
over the world, everytl 
Everybody staring at И 


“What about the competition?” 
"The Ofical Coordinator sack his 
Hands in his pockets and did د‎ sor ol 
donc. m. P, Undeo — there mut 
Sny He grinned widely “And tho is 
m) surprise 

The hig Man opened his کي‎ He 
luted the arms Of the chain. ovs 
that, hows atr 

“You tell me no stories, РИ uell you 
по untruth the Oficial Coordinator 
Amirked. "Baby. dy have scratched 
themselves Us they do mot choose m 
buck. They are ووامله‎ to the folis in 
place of dici usual теор د‎ Hy of 

show — which 1 gota heit Map. 
ich. Moher" 
i. now,” said the Big Man, mil 
ing ayy ال‎ ot mse the ONE 
0 


boys a hide. 1 hope?” 
“Truth, Unde. Nay. They plain 
quit. "The eight spot is ours?” The Off 


cial Coordinator slapped his hands to- 
ther, "And whos to blame then? 
What The Monster Show has not got you 
can mount on the sharp end ol an 
in with a 
olor commercial roundup. adver 
ing the producis of our 5 
General Turbines, Sleep Neat Cap- 
Chewey-Flakes, the Конт Ков 
‘TV Furniture line and ck cetera. But arc 
these ordinary commershes? Noo. We 
have them tricked out so they look prez 
actly like the show. Excavate?" 


into the show. And what 
you. Mr. Average World 
ight when you're ال‎ blasted 
gu and ready Tar the ol ir at da you 
10 get spooned a lot of mal 
have get to think about, or do you Ike 
nd" 
The Dig Man made a solemn circle 
with his finger. 
"And what is the roundest? Something 


long and complex and al дака ou? 
КЕ Vener nct مل‎ Ute rose 
SS So we gire you a variety show. سب‎ 
ing ting. wich Kine, we bave а 


movie footage, with the middle reel of د‎ 
Beis mystery for the copper, Then a 


full hour of wrestling, male and female 
Fans? 

تسه 

“A mere starteroo, B. P. We punch 
“em with twenty minutes of hillbillyatyle 
Used Car comme, سح‎ then we realy 
start fighting. cass with Rev. 

et el oo Hab to Lie Up to бе 
Hilt: a left jab with the first installment 
fa new deiergent opera. Jl صا‎ 
Tee Wife; an uppercut to ihe jaw will 
Who's Zoo— keep moving: don't give 
“em a chance to think, see = followed by 
a flurry of lightning blows to the face 
апа body: Chef Gaston Escargor's School 
of Cookery! Mike Tometrist, Private Opt 
A Ten-Year Roundup of Stock Tu 
and Теор Racing! fweicl remake 

the old motion picture Waterloo 
Bridge, now called London Derriere!” 
The Oficial Coordinator was warming 
to his topic: his eyes were wide and his 
lower lip moist. "Do we swing?” 

The Big Man nodded. “Speaking as 
Mr. Average World Family. he said, "1 
am getting slightly interested. Wing on." 

“Well, we got ‘em dizzy now, Вар? 
Kay. We case off with a handercam com- 
mensh: you know, the voodoo dance rou- 
tinc? Thirty minutes. Then, ques! 
Right in the old schwanzolal” 

“What do we do, what do we de?" the 
Big Man asked. 

We let ‘em have it, POW!" The 
Oficial Coordinator needled а vein 
statically, and exploded: "Ihe old 
hayınaker. The slamboreeno. Twenty 
‘of the world’s greatest comedians on- 
stage, going through their most famous 
routings allot the me limet” 

There was a pregnant pause. 

"Then the Big Man shot ftum his chair, 
extruded a hirsute hand and laid it 
gently om the Oficial Coordinators 
shoulder, "One thing.” he said, with 
genuine concern, 

"Ye?" the Oficial Coordinator qua 
vered. 

"По we have enough?" 

7B. P, 1 think we do. 1 really and 
truly think we do.” The Coordinator 
quickly rolled three pellets into his 
mouth and grimaced. 

"Then." said the Big Man, "1 fee that 
we ought to be mighty proud. And, Пар 
te mighty humble, سم‎ Because we are 
giving the world public the thing ù 
Mant and nerd most: Entertainment 
He winked gravely. “Also, we are making 
for ourselves د‎ few draclunae. Excavate 

The Offcial Coonlinator brushed a 
tear ol satisfaction from his cheek. 
“Bow,” be said, in cathedral tones, “I 
promise you this. "This 1 promise you. 
Everybody on Earth is going to be watch- 
ing The Monster Show tonight. It i go 
ing to be an experience no one will fr. 
et. In fact, 1 will farcnoughgo to say 
that it will be the mos important 
moment in history!” 


воо. Now powder: the mind must rest” 

"The Coordinator nodded, tugged at 
his forelock amd exited through ihe 
bullet proof siding door. 

When it was firmly shut, the Big Man 
went over and locked it; then he re 
moved {rom his pocket a Hat disc with 
three knobs. He twidelled the knobs 

There was a humming. 
ما‎ planned,” the Big Man said, and 
put the tripleknobbed disc back into hi 
Pocket, 


Hi face was curiously devoid of ex 
“There was perhaps د‎ trace of 

ти about the mound as he 
trem 10 the chromium ber and poured 
د امسا‎ shot of amber; perhaps 
He ait the 1 
реа set ihe p 
Sie ab ١ 
cont." he sid, “pleme Kap me good. 
trill sce по ue between now amd ihe 
am. our 

"ind over." 
cat cadis. 

"Tie ig Man st in the air en 
and unmering cxpreionies ana jare 
пои lr out and a hall bu, 

t ten minutes to eight he pressed 
seventeen levers on his de and Bened 
fo seventeen yours 


the voice of Miss Dove- 


— 
a celestial choir somewhat off key. 
= 
акна рање“ 
ee 
AUN. 
CHUA 
DIDI на ми oe 
ae 
es coe 
БИ 
وه‎ e 
pp 
“tec ce a 
TOME f oen 
eee pe 
ELE UE 
Bea 
m Sapo then became ed 
eae Gee 
د‎ H 


سو 

9. 30 get those taste buds une 
timbered, follsies, and treat yourselves 
lo the worlds favorite brew: Rocky 
Mountain! Yes! That's absotively nghi! 
1 suid Rocky Mountain! And . 

In moments the giant man faded, and 
there was a portentous pause. 

"Then, the sound of a thousand trum- 
рев. and an aerial shot ol 70 hand. 
picked chorus girls, so arranged as to 
Spell out: 


THE 
MONSTER 
SHOW 
‘The Big Man waited a moment, until 
the Emcee had come onstage, then he 
sapped the concealed button and the 
alls became walls again. 
He removed the tripleknobbed disc, 
(concluded on poge 56) 


PLAYBOY 


“Why I'd love to meet you downtown for dinner, if you don't mind 
waiting a little, darling . . . I have a couple of things to take 
care of first...” 


e 
eevee voy vee 
THE PERFECT SECRE 
valuable tips for Your gir] 
By Arv Millor 


Cor 
TARY 1 
friday 


Be neat. A boss notices little = 


keeping informed 


The boss’ desk pod will often cid you № 
° aks on his mind for the coming day: 


PLAYBOY 


LIQUID APPLE (continued from page 29) 


bled for a marrias ceremony. 
ng was going us slick as grease 
uninvited law, Eris, threw an 
apple imo the party. Three beauties — 
fera, Atben and, Aphrodite = each 
claimed possesion of in the 
ensuing argument, Paris was asked to 
referee the squabble, Paris gave the ap 
ple to Aphrodite, thereby starting the 
fuck that Je uo the Trojan war, 
all of Troy, and several bad movies. 
ће Greek могу was another one of 
the classical apple myths. But the impli- 
cation of such myths, namely, that all 
the evil in the world is derived [rom an 
apple (Бе, something pleasurable) is a 
point of view that PLAYROY regards as 
wt applesauce, The Greeks should 
have blamed envy — not the sweet apple 
= for their discord. 
he Romans were а litle wiser than 
the Greeks, They called the aj 
тит, meaning something to drink, ap 
alluding to its nectarlike خا‎ 
у were on the right track, but 
never realized the full potenti 
the ruddy frui 


alites o 
Tn the middle ages. 0 
the Maypole, had become د‎ popul 


apple tee. like 

fer. 
tility symbol. English farmers didn't 
merely prune and water their apple 
trees, but poured ale over them in the 
happy ritual known as wassailing, Even 
among the primitives, the apple had be- 
ome د‎ symbol af love ава! impulsive 
mes. Women of the Kara King tribe 
ran to apple همه‎ amd rolled under 
their branches with admirable abandon 
to make themselves fecund. 

However, it was only after America 
had been discovered for several cen 
tures that the apple ally came into 
its awn supreme form. In Europe, chem. 
iiv and druggists had been developing 
the art af distillation. All over the col 
onies, farmers were crushing apples to 
Wake cider. Some of the farmers, like 
سنا‎ Washington, bad been ferent 
ing er apple juice ino hand cider, د‎ 
beverage with the alcoholic content of 
wine. James Madison was за apprecia 
five ol the nutritional value of hard 
Cider that he drank د‎ glass of it cach 
moming before breaktast. Then some 
body put hard cider ماما‎ a still, and د‎ 
plejack was bom. I war called. و‎ 
СЕА а 

vium ак ap mong the earliest 
ا۰ر‎ of the heady drink was Sam- 
el E Laird of Monmouth County, New 
Jerwy. to whom George Washington 
‘wrote asking lor the Laird applejack 
recipe. To this day the Laird lineage عا‎ 
Nil carrying on the amcrstral art of ap 
ple масени, 

Although the Apple of Discont is for 
gotten, modera applejuck myths sul 
kop lying thick and bst. The young 
ladies. for instance, who made up the 
corps off ballet swimmers in Guy Lom 
tands’ Arabian Nights at Jones Beach 
is sumar were noted oot only for 
Weir grace amd shill in the water but 
allo tor the considerable ocean of liquid 
appie that they coomamel Nppicpuk 
Mas the chosen drink. астана to cer 


chronicler, for three reasons. In the first 
place, the dink was 10 have 
preserved en of the girls hair no. 
ater how many times they dove into 
the water. In the second place, apple- 
jack kept them slim because it con- 
tained less calories than other hard 
liquor. In the third place, it did not 
produce hangover effects. м думох э De- 

tment of Press Agents’ Dreams has 
investigated each of the above claims 
Арка has سا‎ caloric content than 
whiskey. But the difference is so small, 
two percent at the mow, аз to be in- 
signihcant. The other claims are quite 
“unsubstantiated, 

Then there is the abmomal sale ol 
a at Princeton, N.J. For over a 
Бар 
Tegaling local bartenders with stories of 
the aphrodisiac eflects of applejack, e+ 
pecially the Algonquin cocktail contain- 
Ing ounces of applejack, 2 tablespoons 
of mashed baked apple and ] teaspoon 
of sugar. After extensive inductive and 
deductive observations made in its own 
private laboratory, PLAYBOY has come to. 
د‎ definite conclusión. The Algonquin 
is not an aphrodisiac, more's the pity. 

But while the myths are unimportant, 
applejack itself is a wonderful source of 
Sheer flowing То those young. 
men who haven't had extensive ex) 
fence with the distillation of Eve's fruit. 
we are happy now to offer a brief ori 
entation course in the processing of the 
liquid apple. 

Like the first whiskey distilled й 
America, the essence of apple was origi 
mally mot the smooth apple drink we 
Know today. According to legend, old 
barflies spat it out and it burned holes 

the floor. They called the 120 proof 
ог “esence of lodkjw," "corpi re 
viver” and “horn of gunpowder." It was 
an extremely popular drink at funcrals, 
so popular in ها‎ that colonial heirs 
امسا جاسم‎ Tae DET 

auc iantities of apple 
that flowed dowa the مسل‎ of mourn 
ers Eventually the drink became known 
as Jersey Lightning since том of it was 
made in New Jeney and since it was 
пекеноту wn distinguish. 
Lightning, thc colorless o 
in the South. 

During Prohibition. apple} 
tunately acquired د‎ sigma اى‎ 
mow being lived down. In the Twenties 
апу farmer with د‎ few apple trees and 
5 rusty sil could make his rough apple 
тоци. Мом of it was uncut amd un 
aged. except for the small private stock 
that some venerable applemen Rept in 
ре cler for their rn personel we 
Sometimes the rough applejack was 
mised with straight alcohol amd water, 
Sometimes it vas a complete framl 
made up of akobol. water and artificial 
apple Bavoring, But it was easy 10 come 
by. and during Prohibition la Bowed د‎ 
rely as bathtub gin. 

Homemade applejack was sometimes. 
made by simply freezing hand cider. The 
water in the qaid turned to ice while 
the akohol. which remained unfrozen, 


‘was then siphoned off for a стаде form 
КЕ Te was strict for squirrel 
eig ly for sq 
Because of this delinquent post, ape 
Jk sometimes a misunderstood 
liquor. people simply refuse 
ко drink emen te مل‎ ot 
Pusyfoot Johnson and the snapneck ap- 
ple peddied by Bootleggers For a few 

bition lot of appie- 
while carefully distilled, was sold 
Comparative, nage. Yr bore Tiene 
semblance to the four-year-old applejack 
now available — a subtle, serious and 
fine liquor, 

Modern applejack is a brandy made 
by crushing ‘straining the juice, 
fermenting i until t becomes wine and 
then divilling it until t is hard liquor. 
When distilled, iti about 120 prol. It 
is then aged in charred oak barrels in 
bonded ‘warehouses for approximately 
four هور‎ After the aging proces it it 
‘cut with pore well water down to 100 
proof or M proof and bottled. 

Any good ripe apple can be used to 
male apple. At a matter of اسم‎ 
practice à number of apple varieties are 
fombined in order to get a uniform 
flavor year alter year. Since apples vary 
from one year to the next and since twa 
apples from the same tree will some: 
mes be dissinilar in Bavor, the choice 
of apples is one of the frst significant 
Sept In applejach making. “The aroma 
fof sweet apples must be balanced with 
the tartness of acid apples Sometimes. 
apples from orchards in two or three 
dierent states are combined for the ini 
"ial blend. 
the distilleries, the professional ap- 
plejack wasters, unlike wine tasters who 
merely roll the wine around im their 
mouth and then spit it out. must actu- 
ally swallow the ard liquor to Judge i 
apropristly. Applejack tasters perform 

work in two sessions, one at 11 
AM. and another at 4 PAL Ae each 
مهد‎ they are able to taste six types of 
applejack. After the sixth swallow. any 
Conclusions which they form arcu of 
"much value. 

‘The soul of a good applejak isa cer- 
tain bien of unc amd mabe 
While good د‎ i mel, there's 
د‎ em Mie] سه‎ Eje e 
"lator from becoming exsotocous in 
the sense that thick sweet confiar often 
тл тоотон, 

One of the mon intriguing things 
about applejack à that t octal beats 
the fragrance and Raver of the original 
fruit. Rye whibkey doc tame like rye 
pur does cam whiskey ume 18٨ com, 
but арріеркё carries all tbe sultry fra- 
prame Of à نت‎ of Wi ‘iter 
Now drink грејна. the alow glow of 
the جسوولد‎ fingers în dhe back of your 
mouth Tike the vemembrance of à real 
apple — with د‎ mellow dißerence 

A movie may sometimes have to edu- 
cote سال‎ and поль to the 
"cw sensation. But cone Feared د‎ 
خر‎ drinking етт a gl ad- 
адот, Youll want to retum t» the 
lively favor, like eating apples right olf 
dhe uec. hard and bubbliag with iur 

пой مه‎ page 72 


Eternal Purity there was once a famous 
pray Tor ое This in tlf js not 
Fenurkable The wonder is that, in al 
том every case, the woman was de 
لكك‎ ‘of a healthy child, just nine 
months alter her visit to the hal shrine 

Here it he procedure they Поне 
after praying and consulting the mered 
sand. the отап سه‎ of once 


‘newly translated tale from the Chinese collection; Hsing shih heng yen 


5 


f | li f | 
dm $ 

ing wiid вый Voll chainler همق وما‎ by their husband as to the 
she would spend the night alone pi 4 amd of the miracle which had tran 
هه‎ meditation and Seep. The: cha wired وز‎ tbe temple, 
her's single door was اوه‎ azita mem- тапу and varied. Os 
ber of her family stationed outside it all 
might so that no one might enter 
the morning, the woman was let cut 
and she returned 10 her home to await 
the frst Mutterings of life within. her 
body 
Now then, when the women were 


answer that а spirit trom 
the other world, in the form of a po 
tent and superbly built man. appeared 
before her and climbed 


top level felts for spring, 
straws for summer 


attire 


THE MAIDENS OF MALL have never completely ac 
cepted the blouses foisted on them by a prudish 
Indonesian government. Today, on د‎ sunbaked, 
dusty path, you're sill liable to bump into several 
bare ladies with their blouses wrapped 
ening) around their noggin : 

ете not going to suggest that warm weather 
endear te more Import than the shirt on your 
back, but the up-and-coming man rates extra atten- 
tion from those around him if he has something 
smart above his ears as well as between them. Our 
office hat rack holds six neatly styled answers for 
that light-headed feeling this spring and summer. 
with modele ranging from strictly business 10 the 
more casual types. Please note carefully. 

"Top left: a good-looking combination of colors 
همه‎ up Ihe modified telescope crown of the 
Mian straw in Torino brad (o loser bra than ie 
wal with the popular Milan), double pleat 
ean ioe c v o 
about $750 (Knox) 

Middle eft: even а hint of a summer breeze will 
whip through this open mesh Hanokt straw with 
puc done NEED. 
via Ege, pleted band of cremate abut 35 

Bonom left: for a more pronounced texture, a 
rich brown Burita palm straw with tapered crown, 

ical striping, about $5 (Mallory). 
Top Fight: crush it, fold it, pack it away; this 
‘one has all the practical values and a smart Com 
rental look us well. A spring weight felt, itis the 
"Double Life" سا‎ with soft double brim and د‎ 
crown that will take any of the shapes you want to 
mold into it, about $15 (Dobbs). 

Middle right: another telescope crown, this time 
in steel gray Burita palm with braided hemp band 
for mote casual wear, about $5 (Mallory) 

Bottom right: a telescope type crown for the man 

‘ould never look or (eel right in this sha 
the new "Flatterer" model in Milan 
deep band to balance the higher rie found in 

this lattopped job, about $10 (knox). 


TRAINING YOUR FIRST WIFE 


Satire BY SHEPHERD MEAD 


xt us sust you have found che ideal 
girl, or at least one a» close to specifica 
ions as was available 

qu Yon are about o embark on he fe 
happy voyage of your married lile 
Young, wareyed and Tove, you 
set sul on what must surely be a sca o 
Dis 


тие وص‎ там 


Once married you begin the careless, 
rapturous days of Just You Two, before 
you settle down 10 the serious business 
of raising a family. Enjoy these blisful 
days because they will never return. 

jut remember, these first months were 
mot intended solely for plucking rose 
buds These are the vital топи 

the foundations of a marria‏ نا 


continuing the series on how to succeed 


with women without really trying 


These are the critical months in the 
mining of د‎ rely serviceable wile 
Friter them away il you will and she 

be soft and flabby. Use thera wisely 
to toughen her fibres and you will have 
a helpmeet fit and ready to wand by 
Your side in the more trying days to 


KEEP MER msy 

Since you will probably move at first 
into a small apartment, your wile may 
think she bas little to do. Show her how 
mistaken she کا‎ 


‘Tim sure it will simply take care 
of isl 

"Well = 
(Give her a long stow look, as 


EPR 
tion the whole mariage 
7 suppose you odd let ding 
side adr ماب د‎ Phoch, One 
fou ge pepe cleaned up at 
EH im me os 
E 
You vil вод а à iy imposi 
for а اسا‎ to vell shee or tr an 
Sparten hu bec propery cloned. e 
i gele simply to asume tit ie hast 
Bean cid wet enough 
The Roper mod ben for he 
nore. Wipe one Enge on any bo 
Feng 
or vii че бо Too Look e he 
Änger just a [ew seconds, almost absent. 
دما‎ Sate yur head Sly snd 
a 


to ques. 


ss 


PLAYBOY 


56 


then shrog your shoulders 
Davie, whats the mater?” 
“Nothing, Phoeb, nothing." 
(Never complain 
"But I spent all day cleaning” 
"Good, linc, рес" 
(Go over and kiss her on the fore- 
heod. Tenderness belongs in every 
потоке.) 
"But Y did, Davie!” 
"I know, sweet. Remember, 
Rome wasn’t built in a day 
The sideways look at any polished 
suslce, panieulariy something like د‎ 
lowtopped coffee table, iv a 
elective and makes а nice variation. 

QN ден er abe wpe ned of 

jr own. Set her going at a good dli 
And keep her out of trouble She wi 
be building both muscle and character 
for the years ahead. 


HER А соор EXAMPLE‏ چو 


By all means encourage and inspire 
your wife with a good example. If you 
be the good example yourself. But 

your health and strength aren't quite 
what they should be, or if you are sav 
ing yourself, you can accomplish the 
same result without string from your 
easy chair, (This easy chair will soon 
become the focal point of your house- 
hold, the center of interest and the 
mecra toward which your wile, and later 
your whole family will turn for admira- 
on. guidance, and encouragement) 

A fine example is the model wife. И 
you know some real woman whose life 
сап be an inspiration, so much the bet 
ter. If nor, don't be discouraged. Your 
purpose is to Bre the imagination, not 
present dull facts. 

“Just talking to Joe at the office, 

Phoeb.” 

"Oh?" 


diem 

woman up against yours any day! 

(Always be loyal. Defend your 
wife hotly at all times) 


ie te 
Е 
EU D 
for a dollar тура —and dete 
Se 
“Just work. he says, maner of 
EET CT 
CET 
ЕН 
їг. 
жана 


Another way to keep ber alert and 
busy is to bring home cook books. Dor. 
ens of fine ones ate available. Before 
bringing home each book, it is bes to 
set 


stage. 
For a week or so, eat three or four 
hamburgers before coming home to din- 


mer. Avoid onions which may betray 
you. Sit down hungrily at the table. 
“Say, looks good, dear!" 
bourse 
"Toy with the food, engage in bright 
oiu tn ket oe عع‎ 
онаа 
АЦА ign Hl 
a 
IQ 
re 
cit dumm 
LIU E 
AS 
ее 
PIbeu v عع‎ 
dE EE 
ac بس اس‎ 
ee 
په‎ ER 
ee 
Segel 
پس اسان‎ 
سا مسا‎ 
ee A 


MONSTER SHOW (continued from page 10) 


"Now he said, and shumped into a 
chair. 
jours passed, but he did not move. 

Finally, there was а sharp knock at the 
bullciproof sliding door 

"The Big Man went 10 the door and 
opened it, cautiously. Eight lavender 
Creatures with sliny skin and no noses at 
all were at the threshold 

"Well" the Big Man said. "How did 
igo 

One of the creatures, slightly more. 
lavender than the rest, stepped forward. 
“Extremely well.” it sid, "In Inet per. 

"The Earth people are all dead. 

o. Volta tn yo. 
mseme.” the Big Man said, turn- 
y imo a lavender creature. with slimy 
skin and no nose at all "1 have had 
¿quite enough idolatry. 1 preter 10 think 
al self merely as an agent who tried 
so do bis job 

“Vahhak. 


Volshak^ the creature 


wed, "such modesty is touching, and a 
credit o our race; but there is no geuing 
around it, You arc a hero. Why. أل‎ there 
had been the ‘slightest resistance, we 
would have failed. We had few weapons, 
а bare handlul of warriors — frankly, we 
were very nearly ready to descend imo 
The Great Abya. But even the gulls are 
{ull of vanquished invaders: we did not 
have. so to speak. a pit to pass in. But 
now we may revel in the sunlight and 
enjoy the blessings of propagation on a 
mew world without having lost a single 
thrimp.” The creature put a boneless 
tentacle forward. "How did you man- 
age it Volshak. hew did you manage to 
put oll the Earth people to sleep at the 
Sane ите“ 

Bot Volshak was blushing. He turned 
his unprnboscidean [ace to the wall and 
‘muttered, in a small, prod voice: “И 


such as sitting in the laundromat or 
ing for you at the station, 

ls for daytime television, you have 
only to glance at homes where itis per. 
mitted to see ruined families, cold sup- 
pers, men neglected and wndernour. 
sed, and women who are ملا‎ red. 
eyed, abby, and mentally decayed. 

However, do nat Ich the television 
set. Rely either upon the honor system 
fr if your wile is lacking in character, 

ly remove a tube belore leaving, in 

morning. 

Allow all the radio listening she 
سنا‎ but suggest peppy and sing 
music, Studies in some ol our large ine 
dustrial plants show that music increases 
‘ficiency, stimulates. morale, and rales 
production, 


HOPING CAN ве DANGEROUS 


Grocery shopping can be a real dan- 
ger to the hurran male. 

Every man's fine sen cut ear, 
and volatile nature are crushed by a 
Super market Science estimates dut onc 
hour in د‎ large metropolitan food store 
males week to ten days af a mans 

Your wife may notat frst realize this, 
and it your doty to her to make thi 
point car 


"he very first time your wife asks you 

to accompany her to the super market, 

accept easily and almost ecstatically, 
“Will I? You bet 1 will, Phoeb! 


(Be coger, bright of eye, brisk 
and keen. Once inside the market, 
breathe deeply, and swoop noisily 
from item to Wem.) 

“Davie, you're knocking over the 
ans” 

“Gosh, Phoeb, something hap- 
pens to me every time T get into 
one of hee placa” 

“Put down those јат of 
hart ра 

“Y tell you, I'm going mad, mad! 
Wheres the herring stad?” 

"David, we don't need herring 
siad" 

"Never can tell who's going ما‎ 
drop in, Say, what's this? Lieder- 
Мапи! Need five, six of these, huh 
Haven't had so much fun in yearn 
You may be sure your wile won't ask 

you te tbe super market again son. The 

few dollars you have spent will return 
to you manyfold in future happiness, 
and in longer Ме. 


nonr cive ur 
Time after time you will be discour- 
aged, again and again you will wonder 
if your wile enn be trained. But if you 
keep at it you will find your епот 
have not been in vain 
хехе MONTI: 
“now то KEEP YOUR wir 
18 LOVE мети YoU" 


THE LYNX WITH THE LUSTY LARYNX 


meg myles’ voice is hardly half of it 


“Oh, no—my wife understands me, and we get along 
fine. It's just that she's old and fat.” 


green soap and kerosene are not the answers 


РМ LOSING MY HAIR 


ened ше “you're losing your bait 

Te was then 1 Knew the secret was out 
"The whole world would soon know my 
once cop ol Dick ie would 
Shortly became د‎ shiny bald pate. And 
it revolted me. ii 8 

From that night on 1 became more 
anc mere awit ot the les and les 1 
had. to comb. 1 pared my hair dier 
emily and wore b hat more alten. 1 
found lt staring ox more fortunate 
young men who had wh wonderful 
out Keeping their haic in place. 

Talo وکن‎ the wow 0 
aspect of losing ones hair а going te 
ihe barber, The embarrament ol going 
to clip something that iat there i les 
annoying than the hairsaving advice 
Баай hacen throw in Wee 

As T sat down in the chair, one of 
these sors jockeys asked: 

Shall | dip i short" 
Yes" 1 answered sarcastically, “Give 


dn't get my weak attempt at 
ut after trimming and clipping 
for a while he made a startling revels 


(а getting kinda thin on top. You 


ought uo do something about it 
‘Anat would vou sugges” 
“Tincture of green soap: works every 
time 


1 tipped him handsomely and bought 
а bottle of tincture of green soap on my 


night. 1 prepared to save my 
With the meticulousness of a sur 


peon. 1 laid out my vicus brush. 
mah, towel and a Boule of the Great 
Green Hope. Never one to go im lor 
hali way measures, 1 used the وس‎ liber. 
ally. Alter thoroughly وسن‎ abd dry- 
ing my hair, | applied the comb -- hi 
wes ghastly کنن‎ the usual amount ol 
Vis a on the مسا‎ 

T did the best 1 could to pat the re 
mains in place. On my way out to din 
ner, 1 toned the green кар imo the 
выве рай 


That weekend I paid a brief visit to 
phe family homestead, My mother, who 
had barely noticed the change in her 
notsofairhaired boy during the past 


few months was stad when she Dane 
“Jackie, what did you do with your 
Tes getting so ¿at Oh my 
ملسو‎ “you'd bener get” married 
bres 
“Get married! 1 shouted, “What in 
the world hos that got to do with my 
ма 
Му mother was د‎ lile a 
having been so Blum. She 
covery 
“Well а really боса mean much 
but you know how agit 
3 fellow to be handiome an 
priant. Of course, alier you're mar 
Tied И docur make any difference 
“Mother, 1 will not succumb to the 
افو‎ nei ol any woman just beca 
Ton lung my hair If she want но 
marry د‎ hairy ape, let her go to ihe 


med for 
fed to 


"That was the last I beard of such taik 


humor BY JACK PANES 


from The Old Folks At Home. Ne 
Мен the problem will existed and al 
though my mother idit mention hair 
to me. [sull faced tbe barbers period- 
اما‎ They weren't reticient to discuss 
зо sensitive a topie. Of course. 1 never 
Tetumned to the green soap enthusiast 
But there were هله‎ — many, many 
others 

1 changed barbers often, more out of 
curiosity about advice than didibe of 
service war convinced early in my 
hairdeing days of the social иены 
ol barber advice om falling hair, Bot 
Stat they advise umil the سا‎ strand د‎ 
gone. Then they turn 10 skin care ad 

Ту never forget one “expert” who ad 
vised د‎ kerosene. treatment (and one 
Sucher who actually tied i). The bn 
er argue 

Look, you're long your hair, right? 
Righi? bj ја 

"That means 

wp there some place, right 

ta 

ake i trom me, 1 hal the same 
trouble when Y was your age. 1 took a 
Hite kerosene, mixed Ш with weiter and 
1 never had any trouble: with falling 
hair again, Germs can't live in hero 
sene. Rig” 

L thought the idea was ridiculous and 
1 told him s. 

"Lock. وځ‎ only giving you sone ad 
vice, buddy. Alter all 1 don sell kero 
ne here; | don't make any money И 
you buy i” (continued on page 65) 


erm working, 


6 


PLAYBOY 


Temple of Fruitful Women 


with her: still another woman might 
lower her eyes and insist that she could 
not speak of these holy matter. And 
there is another thing of interest to be 
told; some women would never return 
to the temple, even when their husbands 
commanded. them ما‎ do so, yet others 
went back again and again, impressing 
the community with their piety and 
senting their husbands with son alter 
som. 

This state of things went on for many 
years in the little town of Eternal Purity, 
And everyone vas well content, For you 
mut how that the people of that place 
were of a quaint sort who placed much 
faith in miracle 

But it came to pass that a new gow 
tror was appointed to the district, 
Lord Wang by name. Lord Wang was 
Young and. ful of ew ideas and his 
faith in miraculous happenings was tem- 
ered much by doubt and skepticism. 

"hen tell of the babies that were born 
as a result of prayer, he stroked his fine 
black beard and sud to himself, "Now 
then, this is all very well: but why may 
not these women do their praying at 
home inead of traveling for miles ما‎ 
the temple and spending the night in د‎ 
pure Th buen غا‎ 

vestigated.” 

Lord Wang paid a visit to the temple, 
where he دب‎ received with much خو‎ 
ta the sound of drums and bells, 


corded every honor. When finally 
Seated im audience with the Superior 
ol the temple, he brought up the sub- 


cet of the miraculous impregnations, 
mul asked many questions about the 


prayers the chambers and the 
dure. Не 


pected the chambers and 
had but one deor, before 
which he was told a member of the wom- 
aws family stayed all night so that there 
might be по question of any mortal man. 


(continued [rom page 51) 
negligent in her duties and has not yet 
د‎ child in her belly though we have been 
wed already five months” 

“Nay, Great One,” quickly said the 
Superior, “that will mot be necesas 
Your еместей and точ fragile lady 
need pot make ihe long journey to this 
temple, She may pray in your palace.” 

"dor. sid Lord Wang. "My wile can 
pray at home, but the wives of leser 


men must needs the night here? 
Why should this be?” 
“Great Lord,” replied the Soperior 


tail, “is e pot logical that you, who 
ase die protector and benefactor of our 
temple, should be looked upon with spe- 
cial favor by the gods?" 

"You speak wisely: it is indeed most 
ting." And. after a ceremonious and 
courtly farewell, the young governor 
left the temple. 

Returning to his palace, he sum- 
moned his usan and mid, Find مه‎ 

oung harlots and bring them before me 
dr once” The asian, hearing thee 
or was ariken with admiration for 
the lusty appetite and great of 
his master, but he soon سه‎ dat 
Lond Wang wanted merely to talk to 
the harlots and did not desire the bland- 
ishments of their fesh. 

When closeted alone with the harlots, 
Lord Wang swore them to secrecy, gave 
them certain instructions. and then pre- 
sented each of them with а bottle of 
ink. One received а bottle of black ink. 
the other a boule of red. He then told 
them to dress in the clothing of honest 
women and go to the famous temple. 

“These things they did. They consulted 
the sere wands said heir prayers, amd 
were conducted wo separate chambers 
Certain of the governors май passed 
themselves ofl a members of ihe gis 
families, and spent the night in front 
the sealed donre 


entering and sowing seed cr in Мом then, you must be told that one 
a more usual way. “I am satisfied,” said of these rwo harlots was prettier and 
Lord Wang at list, "and will send mw beuerformed than the other. Though 
own wile here, for she has been most both were comely, the one named Mei 
PORTUGAL (оон from page 42) 


the home gets is legitimate percentage. 
The delicacy of this operation always 
reminds us اه‎ the Сепке between 
Spanish and Portuguese bull fighting- 
For the relatively bloodless Portuguese 
version, rather than Spain's violence and 
death, is the true survival from the orig 
او‎ fights of the Sixteenth Century. when 
the nobles showed off the skill and grace 
of their steeds against the stupid bro 
tality Ы the bull. The مه‎ gute in 
ihe opening parade are mot the men 
but the highly trained hores. And ње 
light of dhe battle iw not the kill 
but rather the opening 


D اا‎ A 
poU 


Toureiro work on foot, making the clas 
al Spanish pases. Even then, the bull, 


whose horns are shortened and len 
capped. is never killed. Instead. a tea 
ol nen throws tell at the beast, drags 
him down and then, his rage apparently 
pent. they let him get up and bc driven 

nt of the ring with د‎ hend of other 
bulls. 

The spectacle may lack modern excite 
mem it may be Hle arte Bt its 
in on taste: ir bas charm and grace 
and meaning all its own. Аз а matter اه‎ 
fact. that goes for Portugal as a whole. 


For oneway fares, New York Lisbon, 
dow between SEDO and S390 by sea, 
3300 to 00 by air, depending on cas 
and season. For mere dil ere Com 
de Portugal, 690 РОК Arcnuc. New 
York 20. Trans Werld Alis. 350 
Madison Avenue, New York 1. Nalin 
Line, 24 State Street, New York 4 


thich was like a tiny goddess, with hands 
and fect of the most exquisite smooth. 
mess and smallness, Moreover, in her 
face there was that rare an 

expression tha 

all stations but most often in profes 
Sional love-makers, that expression that 
seems to speak of secret and subtle de 
lights and which enkindles the blood of 
all men who behold it, Such was the 
beauty and magic of Meichich, to whom 
Lord Wang had given a Боце of black 
ink. 

Meichich had not been locked within 
her chamber very long when she heard 
а gentle scraping of stone, felt a draft 
and opened her هې‎ ке a, hidden 
Aperture opening in the wall. A youn 
mouk eared. on silent fes "Who 


“A god." replied the monk, "who has 
come to bles you, lite housewife, with 
a child” He pulled down the coverlet 
‘of the bed and looked upon the fesh 
that had enstared the hearts of count- 
less men before him. “By the sun and 
moon,” he cried softly, “this is a dish 
truly fit for the gods!” And he took his 
desire with her with such relish and 
robustiousncss, and so many times, that 
степ Meichich, to whom sach things 
were commonplace. could not contain 
ker rapture amd onere small sharp 
ries of fulfillment. She was, however, 
а business woman above all, and she did 
not forget the instructions of Lord 
Wang. At that point when the young 
monk was senseless to all things ما‎ the 
world sve the bunting of hs souls 
rocket, she finger in the bor- 
ei bach id and remi ire scs 
his shaven head - 

Imagine the surprise of the temple's 
sta ee a ee 
morning he was awakened by a 
from Lord Wang, "Great One," chat 
tered the Superior, "what is your will?” 

"Gall out your monks.” said Lord 
Wang, “and line them up before me 

words! Do as I tell you." 
The monks were summoned, and all 
fourteen stumbled sleepily into the pres 
ence of the governor. 

Lord Wang asked fur a lamp, Lifting 
it, he walked down the line of monks 
and inspected their hairless heads. As he 
did so, he was shaken by two emotion 
а boundless rage at the impious lechery 
of these allegedly holy men, and an 
equally boundless admiration for the 
industry and devotedness of Mei chich. 
For, although the head of every mo 
was marked with ink, only three of the 
marks were red. The other eleven, wil 
‘out exception. were black 

To finish this story, it is only needful 
مر‎ say that the monks and their Superior 
went to the bebeading-block, and that 
the temple was put to the flames. The 
husbands of the town called Eternal 
Purity rejoiced at the justice of Lord 
Wang, but a great many wives, in the 
quiet of the night, wept secretly; or so 
at least itis written 


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armrest that fits cannily in center of 
front seat, stows maps, gloves, 
glasses, jar of pdté de foie gras, 
crackers, doubles as د‎ baby seat. 
Washable, scuff proof, fully lined, 
saddle stitched, | with alli 

whisk brush thrown in, Measures 14% 
by 614” by 6", costs 5798 (plus 50c 
handling), in blue, leather tone or 
green. Merrill Ann Creations, Dept 
AA, 102 Warren St, New York 7, N.Y, 


TAVERN ON THE WALL 
Your favorite folding wall bar 
ures $1” wide by ост high 
Binek iron rame vit bleached ma 
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edged in ng plastic. Comer 
Complete with eight brightly colored 
Mlesictippel glas holders. boule 
Sener, trien, rack als 
And plenty of space for juge. 52750. 
Pp, Blue, yellow or pink паве 
0950. Golan Gifts, Dept. BB. 15 
‘West 41h St, New York, New York. 


All orders should be sent to the 
dresses listed in the descrip 
paragraphs and checks cr money 
made payable to the indi- 
‚al companies. With the excep- 
ion of personalized items, all of 
these products are gueranteed by 
the companies and you must be 
entirely satisfied or the complete 
purchase price will be refunded. 


DANDY DINOSAUR 


заш question? No we saying "Wou 
thet not take sides” or Haven't 
made up my mind” Do not prate 
and mumble. The dinosaur came 
Before the mageump, so the timc 
n vor of diners s 


to stand an omery 35 fect high. This 
one's د‎ six-inch scale model in full 


Color porcelain, For two bucks, the 
Abbeen Supply Co. Dept. DL 
17935 unas Are- Jamaica; N V. 
delivers him ppd. im a plain box 
market "Сов епа Di 


jal: Dinosaur” 


PLAYBOY” 
BAZAA 


s 


R 


WONDERS NEVER CEASE 
А conning. Higher that maker a 
mockery of oláfashioned fine and 
pop eite 
the cap, expose die platinum and 
Silver lament o the alr and, eureka, 
tip jumps د‎ car, blue, gem 
fame that won't blow out Hand 
some gift bex contains ight 

igh lem than 1 or). extra car 
dee and special Mud SSS, post 
uid. Foelie Co, Dept. CZ, 1116 
ааст Ave, Green Bay. W 


ase carries four 
пен when not 


pepe ipe bes 
Ios 
Ed C us 
dab ictu 
de A 
ihe bed 
رلم که وتا‎ у 
ee Ке ОЈ 


BROWN COW 
(continued from page 19) 


riers? 1٤ was love at fist sight. A scan- 
{al was impending, but what eared they? 
"Two hearts beat a5 one, but the posesor 
‘of one stood still while the powesor of 
{he other backed off about twenty paces, 
summoned all his great strength, and 
‘with lowered head made a charge on the 
Тепке which alone stood between them 
sind happiness. The fence fell before 
the impact of the charge, and tbe bull 
how shod! beside his new-found friend. 
Пе was a respaser against the State of 
Texas and more particularly against the 
Department of Dairy Husbandry of the 

cultural and Mechanical College of 
esas But why should he worry? It was 
a glorious day. He was in à new, a 
ferent environment. He was in society. 
Tis uoc was rapidly advancing, Не 
امسر‎ all that а young bull could 
Мече a good pasture, heiter friends of 
doubt social standing, and ast but 
oi lease State's chaperones of these 
Aristocratic belles were absent. The 
world was his, He was introduced to 
her young heifers, all members of this 
exclusive set, and found favor in the eyes 
ol several of them. In these happy sur- 

rulings he was oblivious of the pase 
y of time. The day was spent in fast 
Company. lt was a great awakening, а 
wonderful, an indescribable experience. 
The world was a different place to live 
im. But justas he was congratulating 
himself upon his rapid rise in this brave 
new world, the unexpected as it always 
docs happened. 

“There were shouts. cries, curses. The 
bull was surrounded by the unfaichful 
наша of the princesses” chamber. Не 
Nas kicked and beaten, and before he 
Tully realized what had happened. he 

d himself a prisoner in one of фе 
States basilles-an eight-foot corral. 
Here he was again beaten, cursed, in- 


employees of the Department of Dairy 
Husbandry, subjected wo great indigni. 
یا‎ and by force, threats, amd fraud 
compelled to submit to a surgical opera- 
tion which caused him great physical 
pain and mental anguish, since it tended 
destroy his social standing in the 
ity in which he resided. 
"We here take occasion to say that 
sion amd conduct of these said 
ccs of the State who perpetrated 
this foul and unseemly deed show that 
they pass hearts that are regardless of 
social duty and fatally bent on mischief, 
"The bull was later releases. and led 
hack through the breach he had made 
his own premises. When his tor- 
tors lad departed and he was alone 
with his memories, he stood long as if 
in а trance, His thoughts undoubtedly 
happenings of iba eventful 
ely ‘the way of the transgresor 
Tie had lived too fast in 100 
short a time. But hours hetore he seemed 
по have succeeded in lile as well as any 
young bull whether aristocrat or prole 
{arian could. He had been in full pox 
session of his faculties, both mental and 


ih 


Тоде and was the pet and pride of 
S herd of aristocratic, blued Silk. 
Stockinged. young society heifers belong- 
ing to the great State of Texas, Now, 
ow different and how sad he was. Не 
had been humiliated beyond measure by 
the ueatmemt that he had received at 
the hands of the States employees in 
the presence of the very sume young 
and winsome heifers in whose eyes he 
had مد‎ recently ound favor, He must 
malized that in his present 
1. he فلس‎ wo longer play 
the bull in society. that by the sud oper. 
ation he had been made fit to serve onl 
35 an bumble ox. This was the cause 
anguish to his bullship to 
Suy nothing of the unceremonious man- 
ner in which he changed from Mr, Bull 
to Mir. Suer, the latter name being per- 
sally obnenion to him. 

"hat night the stars came out in 
myriads. ‘The moon shed its mellow rays 
fon that outraged steer, who had been 
50 recently deprived of that part of his 
anatomy that makes a bull د‎ Pull, an 
act that was committed in violation of 
the ‘ue proces of law” clauses of both 
the State and the Federal constitutions. 
‘The bull lay once again upon his downy 
couch. Dew drops gathered upon the 
end of his tail. With the coming of 
dawn they glistened im the sunlight 
Tike so many diamonds. The steer did 
not, as the bull had done upon the pre- 

ous morn, arise to greet the dawning 
sum. For his grief was more than he 
old bear, and his sorrow knew no 
bounds, He refused w be comforted. 
He ‘either of lood nor drink. 
His though were only of his humilis 
tion and sudden downfall. Thus he 
anguished for several hours before جع‎ 
ing the way of all the earth. Не died 
of 3 broken heart withour due benefit of 
clergy. As he раме away. he may have 
comforted himself with the thought that 
love's labor may not always be lost. 

"Now. the owner of this secer, erst- 
while hull, has demanded of the 
authorities of the A. and M. College of 
Texas thot he be compensated for the 
Joss of his animal, the value of which was 
arbitrarily fixed at $20.00, 

"Хом ask if this account is one which 
may legally be paid out of any current. 
appropriations made by the Legislature 
to the A. and M. Colleg 

We think thatthe correct rule of the 
law applicable to this cav is laid down 
in 25 Ruling Case Law, pages 407 and 
408, and i as flows 


"The vule is well established that 
а state is not liable for the negli- 
gence of its officers or agents, ех. 
SCH when uch liability is سه‎ 
voluntarily Ву the Legislature. The 
doctrine of respondent superior does 
not prevail against the sovereign in 
the necessary employment of public 
‘agents. Where wrongs are done to 
individuals by those who are serv. 

их of the government, those in- 
jured аге not remediless, as such 
persons may be med as may other 
iken for the torts which they 


“In any event, the employees of the 


"s. They 


nsible for their unlawful 


alone arc re 
acts Perhaps the bull might have sur 


vived if the College veterinarian had 
been consulted to assist or to advise as 


10 the fine points of the opcratio 
we cannot speculate on that quest 
"We can imagine the chagrin and dis 


SORTE MEN ME 
Refer واا لا‎ 
اما للم سا سب‎ 
E M 
QE. 
poet ate عا ولس‎ 
voucher by your Department.” 


LOSING MY HAIR 
(continued [rom page 61) 


1 had to admit his approach was «in 
cere. There was no kerosene in his shop, 
and1 began to wonder if there was 
Some validity to his treatment. One fate 
ful might, after several weeks of mental 
сова, 1 gathered enough courage to 
сату out “Operation Kermene” 

Needless 10 say, dear reader, kerosene 
is mot the answer. As a fuel or chemical 
for cleaning clothes, its tops. But as for 
spring curly Jocks, it gets you nothing 
but red splotches of irritated scalp and 
barbed-wire hair. was 
afraid to smoke a cigarette; 
له‎ bursting into Hames at any mom 

1 could scc easily that ту hope did 
not rest with the local barbers, I wa 
termined to find a remedy from more 
reliable sources, 1 went to science. 

Т found that literature was plentiful 
fon how to save hair, Most of it was ine 
tering مسا‎ vo say Ме leas, трэс 
tici 

For example, Dr. R. E. С. Arnattoe 
of the Lomeshie Research Center im 
Londonderry, Ireland, made a study of. 
baldheaded men in relation to ethnic 
groups and geographic locations. Alter 
years ol meticulous мајр pto 
found more young Swedes were bald 
than Frenchmen. 

lw happy for the young men 
of France, but 1 dive in New York. 1 
suppose if I cared enough lor my hal 
1 could sail or France and live a happy, 
hairful life. But that did't appeal to 
me, especially since my French was as 
spotty as ту мајр. 

However, Dr. Armattoe espoused! an- 
other theory which may present the self- 
conscious hair-losing male with a p 
for rationalization. For some undeter- 

(concluded on next page) 


PLAYBOY 


mined reason, he said, the most imel- 
men arc likely to become bald. 
ited, Тог example, a meeting of 
the British Association for the Advance 
iment of Science, held at Dundee, Scot 
land, several years ago, where 77 per 
cent of Britain's outstanding scientists 
who attended were bald. 

Well, T gloued to myself, onc could 


take lace and alot pride ما‎ sch am 
Knien. No do Vi vri hne 
ftn وفلس‎ were T locking for peace 
of mind, But T was looking for air 
So 1 continued my sea for another 
ا‎ al nad onc 
boning to De. N. Warn Noung of 


Howard University. He claimed that 
tension imr a tight hat, for ex- 
mple — leads to baldness by cutting cir 
culation, He abo said د‎ study of aton 
bomb victims in Japan revealed that ې‎ 
posure to atomic rays will lul to bald: 
nes. 

Clearly, Dr. Young's theories could 
not apply to me, Г wore a hat rarely and 
then only alter 1 began losing my hair. 

е atom bomb, the closest Tve 
fe маз during a سمل‎ 
او‎ an experimental explosion at Yucca 
Flats This was hardly convincing evi 
de 

‘Another unusual explanation for bald 
mes came from Cincinnati. Originator 
is Dr. Andre Alexis Cueto who main- 
tined that ماما‎ was cased by 
faulty capillary circulation, He анис 
a hood be placed over the head and 
the creation of alternate vacuums د‎ 
pressures within the hood, the capillary 


action would quicken. Just 
gadget into the wall and 
Would he gone forever. 
Somehow, the method seemed dubi- 
fous to me and I ruled it out. A more 
зака! solution, however, was given 
orman Hillier of New York City 
In a National Beauty Congress in Seat- 
tle some years ago, he recommended 
that persons with thinning hair stand 
fon their heads, for “standing on your 
Нема brings blood to the scalp.” Blood 
in the alps good Tor growing ماد‎ 
1t may sound unreasonable, but any- 
‘one who woukl use kerosene моні rk 
standing on his head for a while. So 1 
Sod on my head. My friends caught 
me doing this one afternoon and that 
fended my upside down days 1 reasoned 
that a reputation av a Без майст was 
mare damaging socially than being bal 
Scientific explanations. notwitlisand- 
mg, it was time for another haircut, Te 
vas dificult, but 1 braved it. 
The barber tucked me 


lug the 
ling hair 


and began 


7 he эм gayly, “you're 
ing your hair, 
Where" T shouted with fale sur 


"Right here on top. The best way to 
sop ibis to tke two Engem and mas 
Sue three times د‎ day. Circulation, you 
Eine i the bc th 

"Yeah arid dryly, "wim my mur 
tache.” 5 =e 

(The wudtache was culated rece 
to همه‎ natures tick Fans 


less, 


“Sure... when he pulled off that Brinks job, he was your son .. . 
now he gets nabbed and he's my son! ...” 


Ben m col, ve ling at a 
fan the master of my upper lp 

or some unknown fein, 1 became 
very strong will alter that haircut. 1 
Sot only resisted the two finger rub b 
the suggested beer wach, lemon juice 
Time, and hot towel treatments as well 
Teast ase all tlk that wort. 

in combat during the war or 


ing too 
much water on bair would lead to bald- 


mos. Furthermore, I discovered that as 
far back as 1916, د‎ woman named Doro- 
thy Osborn evidence that 
baldness is 

Reexamining my family tree, T dis 


covered both my grandfathers were bald 
my mother's brothers are bald, and my 
father and his brother are bald, Tit 
never know whatever possessed me 10 
think 1 would have د‎ lush crop of hair 
‘with a background like that 


"Ihe لس‎ of my sory i that exin t 
genns Vbi leis ar AN 
Tres ea yo ca op a 1 
give your barber د‎ dirty look and how 
Lose 


EXECUTIVE SUIT 
(continued from page 21) 


to figure out for himself bow to look 
Sharp and be sharp while working in a 
татом sam cabinet, 

ete dle the question of summer 
comfort "party from à poi of lax 
And fasion and partly from he vantage 
point of fairly نه هله الس‎ ad c 
Porchologr. 1e summer comfort purely a 
nter of suit fabric weight? Does this 
rule out tweeds from May о September? 
Are the tct tube fers the cod al to the 
problem? عا‎ "wash W wear" شوه‎ or 
ааа 

“The weight question is a hefty prob: 
kw. ‘There's do debe that comfort 
cours a ot in سس‎ of ШИ 
ing you are cool and geting a load lf 
your shoulders—ven jux by они i 
د‎ goal statim; point. But given wo 
abris of the same weight, you will sally 
Eres ogni سه‎ 
prin fed hot Dons wi 

puntes open season un 


(A gabardine, for example, is among 
the tightest of woven fabri 
do dict a natural water те 
Tightweight gab is excellent 
spring or even for the first 
даа PO ILU 
al ‘or ls soft, summery colors, 
this o weave fora hot weather war 
robe) 
Loosely woven tweed fabrics which 
‘often have bulk without weight are good 
(concluded oveilen]) 


'omeone's been spreading the story you've slept here.” 


PLAYBOY 


Det Рз, 1123 Meteor 
LR EA 


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SUBSCRIPTION TO PLAYBOY 


‘Siler’ Aci peo hg idera ae 


insulators and د‎ good choice (or sj 
wear but some of the coarse weaves with 
mannish splinters of fiber may be د‎ bit 
rough lor cuddling, Conclusion: wy a 
ta mere to impres her all the way 
‘round (if 2 cashmere budget isn't your 
way of figuring. try د‎ wool and orlon 
blend and she probably won't know the 
ference). Moving into the dog days of 
ner, tweeds are generally put to the 
‘of the closet — they d 
feel the м 


green stall to pay or 
make lightweight 
tailors showpiece 
the research of the war years 
came the miracle tet tube Br. Here 
wo» a chance to add a 25; strength in 
reae o د‎ blended fabric with each 1%, 
(oylan in particular). Ol coun a 
experimenters lost their hend 
fou la too Бы The customer sonnet 
found his new suit mehed Uke bauer 
on the ironing board. became scorched 
in dhe presing room ه‎ returned Irom 
ihe cleaner wich knifesharp cres 
“welded” into the fabric. But, by gum, 
ake weight ofthe Labrie went dw and 
the وهه‎ went up. and the poor gink 
who ket out in the proces com take 
loce in the knowledge that he aided 
Science in it sterling سا هس‎ the od 
vay of Hie. Today, the value of the 
Synthetic Ber is heightened in а blend 
with natural ers 
the 85% dacron 377 wool c 
tion im د‎ nineounce Labrie: 
Unless you're blind or rate. you're 
aware ol the rash of washand wear gare 
ments in circulation. 1 the accumulated 
impact o the ساناتصا‎ for irs short 
socks and sus were brought o li 
GE would be oet of the iom business 
and iato rexarch on the "wand ае 
You wear manaiacd tumble laundromat. 
We have yet to see the Madison Avenue 
brigade bending an elbow over th 
washable, Месецот trt. But with a 
good suom lead by 
Sling on modif dy 


is definitely season. 

Before you ра cont with the 
thought of looking like a Neiman [ash 
ion drawing for Авт, be forewarned: 
this suit is always worn with a traditional 
don'tgiveadanm, casually crushed air 
which. indicates ‘you've just lost the 
wrestling match with a new rea 
assistant from Wellesley but had gn 


(a marker 
rundown shows blends trom 755 dacron 
and 250%, cotton to the old fashioned but 
strongly traditional all coton. models). 
Some men wear cotton cords immacu. 
lately: others just let them get baggy in 
the knees and elbows, Lets say this—it's 
not the suit for the heavy man. 


almost all of the аана‏ مها 
wear sults are cur with pleats trousers‏ 
Tiree button caus, single breed, Some‏ 
Карен out are‏ 

sipped of vim and padding. 
itt with mite u © 
tion (mall shoulder pads, м 
oller effective ко E 


‘completely 
rath 


ds or eave 
die wear. They de oller чаті py 
‘hokage Vk m that you'd swear you 
јан dipped into е ing of your pe 
Tor those with an eye ia sate 
One ofthe бм summer faris wee 
lad dhe pleasure ‘of packing, wearing 
and epg i ile ano i 
ing hat tren from the Palm Rech 
falls "About ve or sis Years ago thi 
fabric va ا‎ under ihe name 
"jua Weave The fric mo longer 
ils major pet 


carries that tag, but is 

of the line w 

ber content. 
[ 


б the content is 250, 
dacon, 15% mohair and 607; viscose. 
With a full range of colors, the fabric has 
a linen-like appearance and luxury lined 
‘models (worth the few dollars over the 
unlined models) of Palin Beach suits sell 
nationally at about $10. The Spri 
weave line (about $50) by the same 
manufacturer has more of the look of 
the tailored tropical worsteds with a 
fabric blended of wool and moh 


Best news of the season for the guy 
who wants to look like a 


lion bucks 


S125 5135 on the rack 
{and the custom houses were having а 
field day). Last ycar there was joy in the 
ssrtorially elegant world to sce the р 
tag dwindle to а T 


hatch of the famous Dupioni silk fn‏ د 
Italy was‏ 


jagged hot out of the dye vats 
ic Scott of Chicago, соо 


Lets face it: we all know that yo 
even bend an atm over a Martini 
bout creasing the silk fabric. And 
well admit that the upkeep in terms of 
a presing bill after cach wearing is 
monstrous, but there's something in the 
feel and look of د‎ just can't be 
matched by the highest lustre of mo: 
Silk 


is no more practi 
mere, but well take two for the season, 
even il we have to hock the souped-up 
‘Vespa to pay the pressing bills, 


VICTOR 


(continued from page 17) 


lis material-accidental. The sketch is 
nothing more than а system of verbal 
۳ 


Wlan Each punetation mark has 
"peca! saund. Fortune, the excl 
lo point may be a wet splutter and 
ame chee, commi an abrupt 
Hering while and a period د‎ ind ot 
[me fune. According to Borge, ths 
vien "arr verbal Kommunen. 
ot ay фе ween. punctuation эрка 
Hin ten communication. Ihe 
seee "Came heres son the fer 
Std and pickup th cete butt! ^ 
ugh sound lite i "Splutter putter 
И Come here nee son tect spur 


the futher said tweet splut and pick up 
this cigarette butt grid sphut.splutter- 
splutter” For the sake of improving 


m ihe original story, Borge always 
сле he developed Ihe sytem when 
he fist arrived ја the U.S. and had dif- 
ficulty understanding Americans. Не 

ered Americans had trouble 
derstanding themselves. The reason, 
he felt, was that punctuation marks were 
left ont of speech. 

Actually, Borge 
in, Copenhagen, city اه‎ his 

inal fame. Tle was rehcarsi 
Gone a the actos had د‎ bad cold. 
While reading his lines, the man could 
barely yet a phrase out without sneezing, 
coughing, of clearing his throat, The 
Elect was hilarious, and Borge, though 
patei dissolved imo auger, ٤ 
veloped د‎ sketch in which he imer 
spersed د‎ reading with coughs, throat 
and sneezes, later refined it to 
its present form. 

Victor Borge was born Bing Roser- 
baum in Copenhagen, Denmark. on 
څ رس‎ 1909, зот له‎ a violinist in the 
Royal Danish Opera orchestra. For some 
سل‎ perhaps because it was shinee 
and made more noise, young Вир pre 
ferred the piano to the violin 

He was playing piano and reading 

at age four; performed at a bene 
ае ten; and made his important 
Ilic debut at age 15 as soloist in Rach 
пов Second Piano Concerto, with 
the Copenhagen Philharmonic Orchestra. 
Abou yen ae, playing with the 
hundred man State Symphony in Copen- 
agen, he succumbed to his comic sense 
and launched himself as a pancturer of 
overblown social sham. a satiric сеп 
menor on customs and mores The 
un way through a con- 
cento, ong, iwo fingered will. 
Borge told one biographer: "The sight 
of those serious old musicians grinding 
away for all they were worth while 1 
سا‎ with my two fingers was sud- 
denly too much for me. 1 looked over 
my shoulder at tbe audience andl winked 
at them.” The audiences explosive 
Taughter provided the cresendo to the 
inl. Said Borge: "1 figured that even 
كز‎ | had spoiled it for a few musical 
purists, the majority of the people had 
had a better time than usual at a con- 


Ever since, Borges aim has been to 


abia fu 
ан ts а ama th 
E den 

e‏ وس سل يناسا 
MOI A‏ 
gs‏ نس مک کل ope‏ 
СЕ‏ ماګا por‏ 
cages‏ 
CAI p‏ 
Sr Da che de Lane, hell‏ 
pals Preset pee Cd do‏ 
the Kon‏ سه Pela vct‏ 
Hcc‏ 


cents a day, which paid 
il his stomach. 


Everglades Club which got د‎ good 
from vacationing Charles Ventur 
New York World Telegram column. 

"This inauspicious start plus the Eng- 
lih he learned from attending double 


for months in, New York got‏ وسوا 
Tam an opportunity o do a warmup Tor‏ 
radio show, originan‏ وس Bing‏ 2 
in Lot Angeles, where Borge vat‏ 
the rounds of moxie sadios and adio‏ 
Nations To the chorus of uncontrolled‏ 
ier im Cry da lee,‏ 
regular om ihe show‏ د مه e signed‏ 
and stayed 56 weeks, He once‏ السا 


aces as the Roxy, Waldorf and 
New York and the Palmer 


US and abroad a mixed blessing 
presented with pianos that were 
able eight out اه‎ ten were mue 
pieces which should never have been 
played. "That is the reason for so much 
comedy in my work. 1 used to do more 
music in my performance. Wut the bad 
pianos forced me to make fun of every- 
p 7 


1 
"Today as always, Borge works almost. 
wholly without props. He is a self-con 

(concluded on nest page) 


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ROGERS TAILORING CO. 
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tained comedia, There is, of couse, his 
piano. During his Broadway show a prop 
{handelier was lowered as he did an unin- 
hibited takeoff on Liberace. And finally, 
there Б L'Amour, his tiny pet poodle. 
L'Amour, whom Borge calls “Lammy” 
for short, joined the show of his own 
accord. One night he nosed 
dires room deor, wandered down the 
ste am 
sniffed around, 
lime bore 


meandered un stage. 
stalked olf with an air of su 


dom. 


Pig, pool on eran 
Borge opened his 
Seaule alter Anuckling 
ion on a 
E cad ol a percentage 
tat. He was therc one week and proucd 
$72.0 in two weeks. When he hit New 
Yorks le collected د‎ НА of rave 
vues, pls his entre investment alter 
ie tice работната ^ 
Borge i as competent د‎ businessman 
and producer as he iam entertaner. Не 
"makes his own business decison a 
tin of his show, He 
Stied in New York the alterwoon ofthe 
Ваау opening; سوه‎ bough 
lt complicated lighting schedule and 
Vent through a full dres rebar 
Direction of the show was complicated 
by the fact that it was somewhat exten 
porancous. Indeed” the theatre program 
Fead: “Frankly we don‘ know what Mr. 
Borge will do but were sure hell keep 
us posted from time to time. PS. There 
seo an mn... but only Me 
¢ knows when" To guide the Suge 
M Borge used а system of subtle 
signals, much as а baseball catcher. 
tees 10 communicate with his pitcher. 
Since he oem sid whatever - 
dnd (1 all Cort moet why 
y Roosevelt signed that Teter") 
a ing nad : 
Toom taped every performance, jou in 
t on someting he wanted 
‘OL course, not everybody lids Norge 
irresistible. Some folk find he pala on 
them alter awhile. Others ve 
hin again and again. One 
show 53 times, A 92 yearold 1 


mired his impeccable dros, asked him 
the name of his tailor (Pucci, of Ch 
go). A Riverdale, КУ. woman ended a 
wildy enthusiastic letter sayi 

really cold sober.” 

Now that his fabulous oneman show. 
has closed in New York, Borge is taking 
it on the road--news that should gladden 
the hearts of these who were unable to 
catch it on the Great White Way. 

This will undoubtedly create more 
Borge enthusiasts, We would like to 
assure these new addicis that, despite 
Victor's seeming incoherency, irrele- 
sancy and general confusion, they are 
mot watching the antics of a plastered 
performer. Not at all. 

He's really cold sober. 


LYNX 
(continued from page 39) 


of interest even if she ровом‏ لاطي 
ede‏ خم a, oie ike Aldo‏ 
Neg isa throm, throbbing contralto,‏ 
and it wasn't ta long before she lound‏ 
ама cast as the stcamy blues singer a‏ 
The Phenix Ci‏ 
From then‏ 

took the high ron, with د‎ Асса en 
agement at Las Vegas" Royal Nevada 
Motel, a tour of the country's smarter 
supper cn, and a Capitol recording 


а fan and 
ет her idol. 
stood 


was really 


ran was 
report on 
hat he turned In one 
ircd recording sessions 


good authori 
OF the most. 
al his carcer. 
Meg is aware that men Tike the way 
she ook. NBG was sufficiently im- 
presed by the Myles of Meggin that 
they selected her as their TVenus, what- 
ever that means, and The Tuberculosis 
Fund has named her il with the 
Best Lungs in Calilorni: 
exacly what that means. W 
Gently impressed to give the 
choice pages in PLAYBOY. 


SOURCE 


(continued from page 25) 


rallying. he asked, “What Cause?” 

The Dean's gaze fused on inward 
things He ambled on slowly, anms be- 
hind his hack 

"The Cause of Love,” he said, "as op- 
posed to Hate. ОГ Nature, as opposed 
to the Unnatural. Of. Humanity, as op: 
posed 10 Inhumanity. Of Freedom, as 

posed to Constraint, OF Heal 
opposed to Disease. Yes, Mr. Bean, dis 
tax. The disease called bigotry; the 
municable disease 


stopped dra 
“The Cause of Tile, Nr. Bean as په‎ 
poed to Deatht 

"The Dean lift а ch 
We se o 
of etic warriors marching o 
strongholds ol prudery. ‘Knights Tem: 
ar wich a اسر‎ aud joyous mision." 

٢ 1 or? à lenem. Taler 

Thy entered а large, cubicle bor 
dered toon, Talbcr saw men: some typ- 
ng some writing, some staring some on 
telephones وسلا‎ in a multitude of 
tongues. Their expressions were, as one, 
neatly alot. At the far end of the 
Toon, expression unseen, man stabbed 

many eyed switchboard‏ ون 

‘Apprentice Room," sid the 
"wir we groom our do- 


off asa young man ex- 


ited one of the cubicles and approached 
a smile tremulous 


7 mid 


the Dean, nodding 


a joke, said Oliver. 


May 1 
"But of course,” 
Oliver cleared’ viscid anxiety 

his throat, then told à joke abon 


said the Dean. 
trom 
a it- 
irl watching a doubles 
dist colony tennis court 
nodding. Oliver 


Ue boy and 
match on th 
fag pen cud 
looked p. panel 

[em 


Not t 


"Nonsense," said the Dean, add 
kindly, "son. These shorter jokes are, 
by all odds, the most difficult to master. 
ust be cogent, precise; must say 


"Ves, чи 
‘Check with Woje 


howskî and Sfor. 


the Dean. "Abo Ahmed El- 
ey ll brief you on use of the 
A. Eh" He patted Oliver's 


business.” he declared. 
Бе ClassA, He really 
the composing end of it 
He gestured mean 
there is sentiment involved. 
Talbert 
aid the Dean. "ft was his great 
grandíacher who, on June 25, 1848, 
wrote the first Traveling Salesman joke, 


The Dean and the Colonel lowered 
their heads د‎ moment in reverent com- 
Talbert did the sume. 


said the Dean. 
airs, sitting 
sherry having been 


пара you wish to know mare,” 

sald the Bean, 

‘Only onc thing 
und that is sir 

"Why have you shown it to me?” 

Yes" mid ihe Colonel, fingering, at 
armpit holster, "why indeed? 

"The Dean looked at Talbert carefully 


said Talbert. 


rd ol your work, your un- 
flagging devotion ما‎ sometimes obscure 
but always worthy causes? What mar 
can help but admire your selflessness, 
your dedication, your proud defiance of 
convention and prejudice?" The Dean 
paused and leaned forward. 

“Mr, Bean,” he said softly. “Talbert 
may Т call you that — ше want you 


он our team.” 

"albert gaped. His hands began to 
memble. The Colonel, relieved, grunted 
and sank back 


но his chair. 
from the flustered Tal 


over. Consider the merits of our work, 
With all due modesty, I think I may say 
that here is your opportunity to ally 
Jowell with the greatest غه‎ of your 

Tm speechless." said 
hardly — that ix — how 

But. already, the li 
was stealing im 


“Talbert. 
1 


JUDGE PRICE 


(continued jrom page 32) 


ТИ show you what it mem 
cried in a loud, excited voice 

Closing her eyes. she fired the pistol 
at There was a deafening noise, 
complete silence Tor and this 
time all the girls upstairs screamed. 
Judge Price slowly seated himself on 
‘one of the steps. 

Before Fern could aim the pistol at 
him again, Bonnie jerked it from her 
hand. As soon as that happened, Fern 

in a heap on the hall floor. 
Bonnie ran up the stairway to Judge 
Price 

“Are you hurt, Judge Price?" she asked 

ansiowly. “Did she shoot you: 
felt his right leg from 
After that he nodded. 


she 


Judge Price reaches 
caught her by the arm. 
don't do that,” he said calmly, shal 
his head. “That won't do at all. As soon 
as I can get to my car, TII drive home 

then send for him. That would be 
much more appropriate under the cit 
cumstances. Fin sure you understand my 
reasoning.” 


But you might bleed to death. Judge 
Price,” 


ic said fearfully 
‘s the risk ТИ 


on her hands 
and knees toward 
"Wade — Wade - 1 do 
made me do it." she «i 
she reached him. "I 
myself. And now you'l 
Judge Price put his hand on her tow 
sled brown hair amd stroked her ten- 
derly. As soon as she felt thc touch of 
his hand, Fern locked her arms around 
him and hugged him with all her might. 
"Fern." he said as he stroked her hair, 
“Fern, with the experience of sitting on 
the judicial bench for many years a 
(concluded on next page) 


"t know what 
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[xS I ee 


give me, Wade?" she asked hopefully 
looking up into his lare. 

leaned quer her 
means more than that. Fern,” he 
told her. "It maus that il you сте 
enough about me to shoot me im a 
whorchousc, you're going to be a loving 
and devoted wile.” 


LIQUID APPLE 


(continued from pege 50) 


at every 9 
The biggest applejack producers in 
the com are Lnd Со ање, 
NI Jen Beene Laird, Jr, Reale ње 
Erk dich for been isla apps د‎ 
New Jersey for 176 مکو‎ HE Lad 
and iii bela represent abou 99 
enemy ۷د په‎ ie applet maw 
cet Dedes de ا سب‎ appl 
pack sold by Laind Cor In both IR 81 
ина pot Veni Re eae 
een 
Pepa Te cues لب دمه مسا‎ 
1 See он املس د‎ 
الب‎ aud e pipe 
distillation. и 
Unsoubtedty, the must distinguished 
apple heard la the wand وسوی‎ 
M the Nebwandy ston of Frame 
roa eru 
cec as ute ана 
action in ةمسا‎ World War 11 
Weed مسمتب ولا‎ CURE ad 
ply swore’ elim om the watt 
ur day. due سه‎ 


ollars a bot. 
icticulously prepared. brandy 
ten years. )ل‎ warms you wi 


a mellow fr 


in a brandy 
f, Calvados is an incomparably 
fine alter dinner drink. Heartily recon 
mended is the Are De Triomphe im- 
ported by Twenty One Brands 
Applejack drinks like applejack high 
ball, appleon the-rocks, apple and ginger 
ale, ete, are prepared in the same man 
ner as whiskey drinks Others (which 
we'll describe in a moment) are a bit 
more complex. Not too complex, how- 
ever, for we're of the op 
many applejack recipes 
plethora of fruit favor. Suaight a 
jack has such a rich fruity fragrance 
almost a cocktail in itself. Accompani- 
ments like lemon juice and grenadine 
should be played down. Then when the 
cocktail is poured into the glass, the na- 
turalness of the drink will be preserved. 
Almost any apple jack mixed drink is cn 
hanced with د‎ dash or two of bitters. 


Angostura bitters or orange bitters not 
only blend beautifully with applejack 
but help to present it as a real apenil. 

For Maytime drinking. امه‎ sup- 
gests the following versions of the liquid. 
apple: 


ATPLEJACK сокалы. 


2 ounces of applejack 
dashes of Angostura 7 


Lemon pec 
water 


Sparkling 
Tour bi 
glass. A 


well. Twist lemon peel over drink. 


JACK Hose حم‎ 
ounces of applejack 
icc of 14 large lie 
Viempoos grenadine 
Pour ingredients into cocktail shaker 
woth cached ic Shake wel Stain ins 
Cocktail سا‎ Two. tablespoons. lemon 
maj he submitted forthe linc 


SOUR‏ صمر 
ounces of applejack‏ 2 


Sparkling water 
Tot the applejack, lemon, juice and 
gar in a cocktail shaker with cracked 
XE Shake well Strain into a Delmonico 
low, AM د‎ dash of sparkling water. Do 
Shot decorate the glass with added [rit 


APPLLJACK MANHATTAN 


2 ounces of applejack 
1 ounce of Halian vermouth 

2 dashes of orange bitters 

our ingredients into a cacktail shaker 
with cracked icc. Stir well. Strain into 
cocktail glass. Serve with a stem cherry 
il desired. 


gacr namur‏ سا 
ounces of applejack‏ د 
Т ublespoon En‏ 
Tablespoon orange ju‏ 
teaspoon maple дур‏ 1 
shake well with cracked. ice in cock‏ 
toil shaker. Stain imo cocktail gs‏ 


The applecar is, of course, a va 
او‎ the sidecar. Any white Curacao m. 
be used in place of Cointreau, 


APPLE JACK. COLLINS 


2 ounces of applejack 

teaspoon powdered sugar 
2 tablespoons lemon juce 

2 dashes of orange bitters 

Sparkling water 

Shake all ingredients except sparkling 
water in a cocktail shaker with cracked 
Ke: Pour unstrained into a Tom Collins 
‘lass Fill with sparkling water and stir 


MAN MEETS RABBIT" 


Love reading. But most 
magazines so dull, 


FUZZY FRIEND: Chin up. Know brilliant 
exception. 


JOE URBAN: Dubious. Name? 


FUZZY FRIEND: mov, Clever cartoons. 
Fine fiction, Pretty Play- 
mates. 

JOE URBAN: Alliteration awful. Pros- 
pect stimulating. How ob- 
tainable? 


FUZZY FRIEND: Simplicity itself. Clip cou- 
pon. Write check. Mail. 


* With apologies to û prominent rum importer 
and its ad agency- 


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A NEW STORY BY ERSKINE CALDWELL 
BROADWAY'S VICTOR BORGE 


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AN INTERLUDE WITH SONG-SIREN MEG MYLES
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