Skip to main content

Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats 


ENTERTAINMENT ҒОЕ МЕМ 
JULY...50:cents | 


PLAYBOY 


P. PICNIC CAPERS 


HEMINGWAY 


PLAYBILL 


THE PLAYBILL PAGE this month is more 
whiskered than usual, what with the 
noble sproutings of Messrs. Hemingway 
and Whitehead, but all that broccoli is 
justified by two articles from the Rem- 
ingtons of noted columnist Leonard 
Lyons (pictured here talking to a fuzzy 
friend named Ernest) and the aforemen- 
tioned Sehweppervescent Commander. 
Lyons has written about The Beavers of 
Broadway and Commander Whitehead 
has issued the stern pronunciamento, Off 
With Their Beards! 

Writing is in my blood,” Richard Ar- 
mour tells us, “along with other impuri- 


ties.” Satirist Armour is, of course, the 
author of that whole caboodle of 
“Started” books (It All Started with Eve, 


- with 
well as the ing 
Shakespeare 


Columbus, —with Europa) as 
nious Twisted Tales from 
d the forthcoming И All 
Started with Marx, a satirical history of 
Communism. For велувох. he has writ- 
ten Age of the Chest, а wry essay di 
rected against the hairy heman torso 


AND LYONS 


ARMOUR 


and its addlepated advocates. 

His Satanic Majesty, Lucifer, also 
known as the Devil, the Adversary, the 
Archfiend, the Tempter, the Prince of 
Darkness, the Son of the Morning, the 
Father ol Lies, the Author of Evil, Old 
Scratch, Old Нату, Old Ned, Old Nick 
and other Nicknames, would seem to 
hold a certain diabolic fascination for 
our fiction editor: you will perhaps re- 
call such Faustian fiction as Burnt. Toast 
(November 1955), Couching at the Door 
(March 1956) and Hard Bargain (а re- 
cent as Мау 1958). For this issue, 
Stephen Barr has given us still another 
such, The Devil to Pay — but this one, 
as you'll discover, is a devil's tale with 
a kinkier-than-customary twist. 

Other fiction this month includes The 
Sweet Sadness, by Philip Lee Smith, a 
touching love story set іп Havana, and 
The Skindiver and the Lady, by our old 
friend T. К. Brown HI (author of The 
Sergeant and the Slave Girl and The 
Double Cross-up). 1 


K., when he writes 


BROWN 


of skindiving. knows whercof he speaks. 
for it is a major part of this fun-loving 
Floridian's lite, 

In the way of non-fiction, The Not So 
Tender Trap, by Martin Abramson, is а 
fact packed case against the paternity suit 
racket. The Picnic Papers, by Thomu 
Mario, is a treatise on treats, tasty and 
totable, for posh pıaynov pienickery 
to which is appended а savvystacked 
spread of gadgetry to make outdoor cat 
ing all the more enjoyable. Six Records 
in Search oj a Penthouse ізі Аушоу Jazz 
Editor Leonard Feathers roundup of the 
pet platters of Sinatra, Garroway, Basi 
Steve Allen, Gerry Mulligan and Peggy 
ае: 

Telephonic comic Shelley Berman per- 
forms one ol his mirthlul routines for us; 
and, girlwise, portable Parisienne Agnés 
Laurent and lazy Playmate Linné Ahl- 
strand vie with cach other and with a 
passel of nude LP jackets for your at- 
tention. Good things galore in а jam 
dandy July rrAysov. 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


EJ AppRgss ғ.лүвоү MAGAZINE . 232 E. OHIO ST., CHICAGO 


UGH 
We got a charge out of your April 
paragraph about "Spooky Foods" in 
Playboy After Hours, but think we can 
add to the list from our own well-stocked 
Oddity Section: Iguana Meat in Mole 
Sauce, Sea Urchin Paste, Smoked Spar- 
row on Skew Fried Golden Butterfly. 
Richard Cahill 
Vendöme Table Deli; 
New York, New York 


cies, Inc. 


RR 

Congratulations оп Ken Purdy's excel- 
lent April article concerning the Rolls- 
Royce automobile. It is gratify ng to 
learn that not everyone has 
quality and pride of workmanship оп 
the altar of mass production. I am one 
of the disappointed people who belicved 
Detroit's propaganda to the extent of 
buying a Continental Mark II, which 
turned out to be a glorified bolt bucket. 
We were also further rewarded by the 
company's cutting the quality of the 
automobile in the later model, and in 
turn devaluating the trade-in price of 
our automobile. 


Ben Н. Jenkins, M.D. 
Newnan, Georgia 


That article about the Rolls-Royce 
was, in my opinion, one of the finest 
that I have scen in PLAYBOY to date. 

James D. Allan 
Kingston, Ontario 


After reading Prestige on Wheels, my 
late-middel Detroiter secmed to rattle 
even more than before. Viva Purdy! 

Johnny Schmon 
Clifton, New Jersey 


1 wonder how much R-R paid you for 
putting down American cars? 
B. J. Yanchenko 
Syracuse, New York 


THE DISTRIBUTOR 

Although I have been gaping at your 
fabulous mag for some time, it was not 
until I read The Distributor, by Richard 
Matheson, in your March issue, that 
the spirit urged me to my typewriter. 
‘This story was, and still is for that mat- 


ILLINOIS 


ter, the best that has been published in 
PLAYBOY in many a moon. | shall con- 
tinue to read your magazine with relish, 
in hopes of finding, among other delight- 
ful tidbits, more stories by Mr. Matheson. 
Frederick С. Moore, Jr. 
Ventnor, New Jersey 


Congratulations on the most grippi 
story 1 have read in a long time—Rich- 
ard Matheson's The Distributor. A new 
height in beastliness was etched therein. 
What a terrific TV play it would make! 
nn Sessions 


ıgton, D.C. 


E 


Just wanted to say I think PLAYBOY 

really outdid itself with The Distributor. 
Terry Cullinan 

Claremont, Californi 


- + - A masterpiece of supernatural 
depravity. The story is a culogy to au- 
thor Matheson's talent and a tribute to 
the good taste of your editors. May you 
continue to publish literature of equal 
quality. 

Robert Hannaford 
Seattle, Washi 


. . - Fabulous! 
J- M. H. Morgan, Jr. 
Morgantown, West 


2. Simply grea 


Richard Matheson should be ри 
asylum as quickly as possible. He 
sick, dangerous, demented person. 

Robert Miller 
Brooklyn, New York 


“If a thing is worth doing, it's worth 
doing well,” you say on the opening 
of The Distributor. Is it worth doing? 
‘Phe story, I mean? 


Greg nther 
San Jose, California 


The Distributor had a tendency to 
encourage any Communist readers. Let's 
keep PLAYBoY for the Americans. 

David William Oliver 
Indianapolis, Indiana 


онр sT., CHICAGO Y 
THE ACT OF MARCH э, 1 NTED IN U.S.A. 
TIONS: IK THE U.S, sion 

ве FOR ORE YEAR, ELSEWHERE ADD 33 
CHANGE OF ADORESS: SEND 


232 к. ошо ST., 


CHICAGO 1 


FUSLISMEO MONTHLY вт нин PUBLISHING CO., INC 
RED AS SECOND CLASS MATTER AUGUST з. 1933 AT THE POST OFFICE AT CHICAGO, ILL, 
CONTENTS COPYRIGHTED © isse BY нин PUBLISHING CO.. INC. 
THE PAM AMERICAN UNION AND CANADA, 314 FOR THREE YEARS, $11 FOR TWO YEARS, 
IR YEAR FOR FOREIGN POSTAGE. ALLOW 30 DAYS FOR NEW SUDSCRIPTIONS AND RENEWALS. 
H OLD AND NEW ADDRESSES AND ALLOW 30 DAYS FOR CHANGE 
OFFICE. HOWARD LEDERER, EASTERN MANAGER, 720 FIFTH AVE 

WLL.. мі 2.1000, LOS ANGELES REPRESENTATIVE, FRED E. CRAWFORD, 612 S. SERRANO AVE., LOS 
‚ DU 4-7352; SAN FRANCISCO REPRESENTATIVE, A. 5. BABCOCK, 60$ MARKET ST., 


UNDER 


supscrip- 


ADVERTISING: MAIN ADVERTISING 


НЕМ YORK, M. Y., сі 5.7620; WESTERN ADVERTISING OFFICE, 


SAM FRANCISCO, CAL., YU 2.3954 


CHIPP CHIPP CHIPP CHIPP СНІРР CHIPP СНІРР CHIPP СНІРР CHIPP CHIP! 


LERNER 
LOEWE'S 


MUSIC FROM 


"GIGI” 
JAZZ 


SHORTY ROGERS 
AND HIS GIANTS 


EN 


riding thing of jozz, as Shorty Rogers and his Giants 
tronslote freely from Lerner and Loewe's original 
tunesl Recorded in New Orthophonic sound. 


® RCA VICIOR 


y CHIPP СНІРР 


Furnishers 


CHIPP CHIPP 
8. Custom Tailors 


CHIPP MADRAS 
WRAP-A- ROUNDS 


Lom; known for style setin 
again, introd 
The Weap-a-Round T 
fits afl. Light, unlined I 
cellent for the beach, sailing ог puttering 
No Ну, no pockets, Iridescent Rust, Olive, 
Plaids in all shades (state pre- 

ng color d. 2... $15.00 
Shirt (as Қз Hoh Nei: Boat Neck 
d weave Black, White. 


ано «НЭ ddIHI ddiH2 дано ddiH2 ddiH5 4ЧІН2 ddiH2 «ано ан 


14 Е. 44th St. 


СНІРР СНІРР СНІРР CHIPP CHIPP 


New York 17, М. Y. 


3 


BLENDED WHISKEY-85 PROOF 
30% STRAIGHT WHISKEY 
6 YEARS OR MORE OLD 
70% GRAIN NEUTRAL 5ЖЫТ5. 
È HIRAM WALKER & o NK 
PEORIA, ILLINOIS 


Whiskey by 
Hiram Walker 


— and they buy it by the case 


Knowledgeable people buy Imperial 


N 


x 


MPERIALO 


MULTIPLE VITAMINS 
There is no doubt in my mind that 
your April Playmate, Felicia Atkins, is 
an exceptional girl, but I doubt that 
even she is exceptional enough to “soak 
up a skinful of Vitamin C" by lying in 
the sun. Vitamin C is absorbed by the 
ingestion of citrus fruits. 
Frank А. Oski 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


Т am positive that the golden hue of 
Miss Atkins’ "corpore sano" is due to 
Vitamin D from sunlight, not Vitamin С. 
A. L. Capto 
Tufts Medical School 
Boston, Massachusetts 


You mean Vitamin D... 
Barney Gardner 
College of Medicine 
University of Utah 
Salt Lake City, Utah 
Oops. Would you guys believe us if 
we told you our Las Vegas Playmate 
soaks up her vitamins in a swimming 
pool filled with orange juice? No, we 
didn't think you would. 


DOWN WITH PAZDUR 

Though the ins and outs of 1N and ост 
are delightfully explained in your March 
issue, you let some terribly our stuff 
ercep into the same issue. I'm referring 
to Ed Pazdur's article, Boxing 1958. 
First, Мг. Pazdur makes real points by 
justly ridiculing Charlie Goldman's 
mouthwash published in that other 
"popular men's magazine" where Cholly 
sagely predicts that his boy Rocky would 
have KO'd Floyd Patterson in the sixth 
round, had they met. But then Mr. 
Pazdur g iv ост by making the same 
blunder himself, saying later іп his ar 
ticle, with as much optimism as the silly 
Mr. Goldman, ". . . Patterson would 
have won by a knockout—in or around 
the 12th.” 


Kal Wagenheim 
Elizabeth, New Jersey 


Ed Pazdur's Boxing 1958 has almost 
caused the banishment of рІ.Лүшоу from 
my selected reading material. I believe 
this man would have accomplished more 
by discoursing on disabled parakeets. 
The whole article must have been used 
as an emergency replacement for an ad 
that failed to arrive. 


Greenwood 
connecticut 


Pazdurs ridiculous deprecation of 
Rocky Marciano docs much to dim my 
enthusiasm for PLAYROY. 

Arthur Whiteman 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


Who does this guy Pazdur think he is 
(and who is he, anyway?) to contend 
that Marciano could not have beaten 


Patterson on his best day? I'm not saying 
Patterson is а bum, but look at Rocky's 
record—it speaks for itself! Pazdur is ig- 
norant. 
George Ciampa 
Inglewood, California 


THE ETERNITY LABEL 
Your Hickory, Dickory, Dock satire of 
Kerouac is so much jazz. You have 
wronged The Poet. I pray for you. Man, 
this boy records on the Eternity label— 
I suggest you put him on the correct 
turntable. 
Augustine Weeg 
Tacoma, Washi 


PLAYMATE PROSPECT 

Fhe Zeta Chapter of Beta Sigma Rho 
Fraternity recently held its annual Гог 
mal here at Carnegie Tech and this year 
we used PLAYBOY as our theme. The fra 
ternity house was elaborately decorated 
with rabbit posters, covers, cartoons and 
Playmates from ptayuoy, and over 
80 couples, including faculty members, 
attended. The brothers submitted the 
names of their dates for our Beta Sigma 
Rho Playmate Contest and the winner 
was cute Carnegie sophomore ‘Teri Ron- 
son. Teri is a 19-year-old, blue-eyed 
blonde — a petite 5° 5” tall, measuring 
36-2 


interested in Teri a 
the Month in rıaynoy? 


arncgie Institute of Tech. 
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 
Judging from the photograph you en- 
closed, there is more than a possibility, 
Stan. Teri can expect a call from our 
Carnegie Tech College Rep. 


GRIPES OF WRATH 
I lay down my 50€ at the newsstand 
expecting entertainment, and until read- 
ing The Short-Short Story of Mankind, 
by John Steinbeck, I have gotten it. 
John A. Haley 
Jal, New Mexico 


win a 
dream 
trip 

for two 
to the 


BRUSSELS 


WORLD'S 
FAIR! 


win other exciting prizes... 
in the big, new Rek-O-Kut contest! 


You can win a trip for two to the Brussels 
World's Fair via Sabena Belgian World Air- 
lines...magnificent Rondine tumtables... 
and turntable arms...just by listening to a 
Rek-O-Kut demonstration. Simply stop in at 
your high fidelity dealer, ask him to demon- 
igh fidelity reproduction on a Ron- 
and fill out an entry blank. 
ble for a big contest pri: 
and you'll have enjoyed music reproduction 
at its finest — on a Rondine! From $59.95. 


Selected for display at the American 
Pavilion, Brussels World's Fair! 


For the high fidelity dealer nearest you, write: 
REK-O-KUT COMPANY, INC. 
38-19 108th Street, Corona 68, New York 


SHORTY ROGERS 
AND HIS GIANTS 


RECORDED IN NEW ORTHOPHONIC SOUND 


Big-band jazz is Баск — with a bang! Shorty 
Rogers and his Giants prove it in this exuberant 
new album of 8 great Rogers-original numbers. 


PLAYBOY 


you feel 
like a king 
every day! 


Kings men 


The best faces use 
Kings Men E 
Pre-Electric Lotion ТИ 
Only $100, (p 9 

Pus 


Federal 
Tax 


Ау 


Freshen up and 
feel right with 
| Kings Men—known 
N everywhere as the 
world's finest. It's a 
habit you'll enjoy. 


SPANISH WINESKIN 
(bota) 

The ultimate in swill flosks. 
Convenient, picturesque, and 
absolutely the most efficient 
item ever devised for throw- 
ing a picnic, o beach party 
or a fraternity blast into 
hysterics. 


Superb also for ski trips, 
boating and football games, 
this authentic imported bota 
is made of genvine leather 
with plastic lining, holds one 
liter, is suitable for any vo- 
riety of grog, and should last 
о lifetime. 


Only $5.75, ppd. Satisfaction 
guaranteed. 


Send check or money order to 


DRINKING SWEATER 
Excellent warmup garment 
for drinking bouts, beer 
blasts, and other sporting 
events. Made of quality cot- 
ton fabric in white only. 
Sizes: $, M, L & XL 


Only $5.75, ppd. Satisfaction 


guaranteed. 


CAMPUS CASUAL COMPANY 


Dept. 3, P.O. Box 3493, Richmond Heights 17, Missouri 


NEW ACCESSORIES FOR PLAYMATES AND PLAYBOYS / 


Earrings $4.50 Cuff Links $4.50 Tie Pin $2.50 
(tax Includad) 
send your check or money order to: 


PLAYBOY ACCESSORIES, Oept. 758 
232 E. Ohio Street Chicago 11, Illinois 


The Short-Short Story of Mankind by 
John Steinbeck is a labored attempt to 
assert that all cultures and civilizations 
are the same, whether they be Hittite, 
Mayan, Nazi, Elizabethan or Periclean; 
and that Adolf Hitler's policics were no 
better nor worse than Winston Church. 
Шъ and that Communist Russia in bru- 
tally suppressing the Hungarian patriots 
was no worse than America in suppress- 
ing the Whiskey Rebellion. 

Loring Fiske 
Los Angeles, California 


The Short-Short Story of Mankind was 
not short enough. 
Jack Murphy 
Newport, Kentucky 


THE SURVEY SURVEYED 

If you wish me to continue buying and 
PLAYBOY, don't ever ag: 
poorly disguised sales message to 
isers as appeared in your otherwise 
excellent April issue under the title Meet 
the Playboy Reader. 1 feel I was duped 
into reading it. thinking it another good 
article. 1 wasted my time, you wasted a 
full page and a half. 


Gary King 
Toronto, Ontario 


Interpreting the survey of your 
reader in my own fashion, I have come 
to this conclusion: He is a 25-year-old 
college boy who Iceches $7,284 a year 
off his old man — not for education, but 
for the maintenance of three automo 
biles, a small clothing store, and monthly 
excursions to Venice, Papecte and No- 
gales. 


Robert Ginte: З 
Los Angeles, California 


Mcet the Playboy Reader gave me a 
real good laugh. I don't make 510.000 a 
year. I don't have a new car. I don't 
travel cach year. I don't buy a new 
wardrobe each season. Nor am I able to 
afford the luxury of fine liquor, costly 
women or some of the other delic 
enjoyed by ше“: ge” PLAYBOY 
er. I can’t. I teach school. 

Robert Barnard 
Seminole, Oklahoma 


ies 


1. 


After reading your recent survey, [ 
assume the majority of your readers are 
ultra-conventional, quasi-hip, pseudo- 
sophisticated. 

R. Е. Grady 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


Dan Starch & staff did a helluva job 
I have read rtaynoy for almost four 
years, been a subscriber for over two. 
There's a startling resemblance between 
myself and your findings, yet I wasn't 
contacted by the survey. 


Gene Sally 
Rolla, Missouri 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


e told you month before last about 
sort of electronic BunaB, a self- 
powered, controlless, portable gadget 
which docs no more than flash two 
banks of lights in random order. Or 
so we thought; but a friend of ours 
claims that it is, in fact, an amazingly 
efficient scientific instrument which he 
has named The Instant Personality Ana- 
lyzer, because he can tell all he necds to 
know about a man from his first re- 
action to the blinking box. The guy who 
digs its charm at once — and wants one 
— is quick-witted, sociable, a secure neu- 
rotic who knows how to live with his 
problems, and a man likely to be volatile 
in temperament. The guy who docsn't 
dig it right off, who says, "Ycah, but what 
is it?" is apt to be literal-minded, self- 
righteous, rigid and, though comfortable 
within his milieu, rather unsure of him- 
self outside of it. Then, there's the fellow 
who tries to work out a pattern for the 
flashes, scrutinizes the box on all sides, 
demands a screwdriver to take it apart 
and see how it works. “This man," says 
our friend, “has a latent streak of sadism 
which he has channeled into usefulness; 
he may be a surgcon or a demolition 
engíncer. He's likely to be physically 
large, extroverted and aggressive.” 

We're anxious to get our friend's 
opinion of the personality structure of 
a telephone installation and repair wal- 
lah who was working on our office inter- 
com the other afternoon. Before he left, 
we pointed to our “Analyzer” and said, 
"Check it out, would you?” “The tele- 
phone man looked at it in puzzlement, 
picked up the box gingerly, set it down 
again with a dazed frown and said, “Yep. 
She's OK. Shouldn't give you any 
trouble.” And fled. 


2 


A two-fisted drinking buddy of ours — 


fed up with the vogue of diluting per- 
fectly good vodka with healthy-type 
mixes (tomato juice, orange juice, beef 
bouillon, etc.) — blew his top recently. 
Walking into a Rush Street watering 
hole, he asked the bartender for "A 
Bullshot — and cut the bull.” 


Exotics seem to be performing under 
some notably unexotic monickers these 
days: a couple of headline strippers in 
Miami are billed as Zsa Zsa Schwartz and 
Asian Flo. 

. 

Planning а junket to Manhattan? 
Here's some sightsecing information 
that should prove invaluable. The Madi- 
son Avenue Pet Shop is at 1072 Lexing- 
ton. The Fifth Avenue Card Shop is just 
off Third Avenue. The main office of the 
East River Savings Bank is just a couple 
of blocks from the Hudson, on Cortland 
St. (most of its branch offices are also 
conveniently located on the West Side). 
You can't miss the Forty-sccond Street 
Commercial Studio: it’s at Fifth Avenue 
and 47th St. Now, if you want to go to 
the Uptown Agency, you'll find it down- 
town at 72 Fulton St. If you're looking 
for the Downtown Gallery, it’s midtown 
一 on East 5Ist St. And the Midtown 
Dental Supply Company? You guessed 
it: uptown, at 2129 Broadway. 


BOOKS 


In The Cultured Man (World, $3.75), Brit- 
ish-born anthropologist Ashley Montagu 
(full handle: Montague Francis Ashley- 
Montagu) has provided a sort of do-it- 
yourself 561,000 Question for the upper- 
middlebrow set. Trouble is, no dough is 
paid. All you get is the satisfaction of 
knowing how enlightened you are. Can 


you define the word word (try it); do 
you believe that a thespian is a division 
of genus lesbian; do you know what a 
nautch girl is? If you can concoct the 
correct answers, you're rolling. But if 
you think endogamy is canine suicide; 
or the excluded middle is the chief 
charm of a bikini; or the glottal stop is 
what « Japanese girl says when you make 
a pass, then you might as well give up. 
What Montagu has done is assemble 
some 1500 such questions and divide 
them into categories from Agriculture 
to Words. Answers are in the back, and 
so is the scoring method. (We whipped 
through the first five categories, came up 
with three Excellents, onc Good and one 
Above-Average.) What does it all prove? 
It proves that even though Professor 
Montagu has spent vast amounts of time 
and effort compiling this gnostic galli- 
maufry (learned hash), no truly Cultured 
Man would be caught azoic (dead) read- 
ing it. 


PLAYBOY readers might like to know 
that three storics from these pages are 
included in Robert Oberfirst's Anthology 
of Best Short-Short Stories: Volume 6 (Fell, 
$3.95). They are Victory Parade by Henry 
Slesar, The Lover of the Coral Glades 
by Adrian Conan Doyle and Last Will 
and Testament by Ray Russell. The 
Russell and Conan Doyle yarns rate the 
“Honor Roll Story” citation and the 
Slesar piece is crowned “Best Science- 
Fiction Short-Short of the Year.” Some 
other writers represented in the book: 
Bradbury, Saroyan, Мо 


THEATRE 


The old Globe Theatre, rescucd from 
the movies, refurbished in baroque and 


PLAYBOY 


DIXLELAND JAZZ 


it's so different 


339 BOURBON ST., NEW ORLEANS 


ALL YOU CAN DRINK FOR $7.87 
(Sorry, no mail orders accepted) 


900 N. RUSH STREET, CHICAGO 


ІМ INDIANAPOLIS 


KBs 


А GOURMET'S OASIS 
Cackrans AND FOOD FOR THE BON VIVANT 
2250 NORTH MERIDIAN 


4Е6 


QUARTET 


AS 
FAMOUS FOR 
ROAST BEEF - STEAKS - BARBECUED RIBS 


EMBERS 


DINNER From 530 PM + OPEN TO 4 AM 
161 Е. 547. NYC • PL9-3228 


christened the Lunt-Fontanne (205 W. 
46th St.), is now the handsomest playhouse 
in town. You can see it any old time. 
But if you want to sce Ше Lunts, you'd 
better move fast. They're threatening а 
limited engagement for The Visit, easily 
the best play to come their way in years. 
Its author, a Swiss by the name of Fried- 
rich Duerrenmaut, is а craftsman with 
п original turn of mind and а mor- 
dantly medieval appreciation for the 
slow turn of the screw. 

A woman returns to the whistle-stop 
town of Gullen in mythical Mittel- 
europa; we learn that she had been 
forced to leave at the age of 17, slightly 
pregnant. Now she is Madame Claire 
Zachanassian, a much-married courtesan 
who made good in a brothel and accu- 
mulated more money than Babs Hutton, 
Claire arrives in a royal sedan chair, 
with a couple of American gangster 
bodvguards, a black panther, a butler 
and a horrible hunk ol hate in her heart 
for Anton Schill, seduced her in a 
hayloft and betrayed her by false wit- 
ness. Her malevolent plan for revenge 
is to offer the townsfolk a cool billion 
marks for public works and private 
pockets if they will see simple justice 
done: the murder of her seducer. 

It is disturbingly logical and blood- 
chilling to watch the locals waver from 
shocked indignation to greedy appre 
tion of her offer; to watch Anton Schill 
disintegrate when he realizes that bis 
friends, and even his family, are aware 
of how much he is worth to them—dead. 
In a quiet way, the play is hair-raising 
in its relentless cy im, and as enter- 
tainment it requires brilliant directing 
and acting. It gets the first from Peter 
Brook, who employs Teo Otto's imagi- 
native sets for an exercise in [rigid fan- 
tasy, and the best of the rest comes from 
the Lunts. Miss Fontanne, who admits 
to 71 and looks a fine 40, plays Claire 
like an icicle warmed by a candle flame; 
Mr. Lunt, who is and looks 65. is mag- 
nificent as a [rowzy roué whose days are 
numbered. Peter Woodthorpe, Eric Por- 
ter and the rest of a fine Anglo-American 
cast help propagate the venality of man 
and the greater glory of the Lunts. 


FILMS 


The Matchmaker, based on the Thorton 
Wilder Broadway smash inspired by an 
1849 Viennese comedy taken from the 
John Oxenford original of 1835, is about 
the funniest, perkiest picture we've come 
on in years. While John Michael Hayes’ 
sercenplay carries over from the stage 
show every hoary slapstick device known 
to man — from scrambling into closets to 
transvestitism — Ше maneuvers are so 
spontaneously panicky that you don't 
mind one whit. The peppy and near 


-.merriest moor 
this 
side of heather 


COACH HOUSE 
874 NO. WABASH 
CHICAGO 


black orchid 


food and 
entertainment 

as rare and fine 
as the black orchid 


rush & ontario М0 4-6666 


DANTE'S INFERNO 


INTIMATE 
57 W. HURON ST. 
CHICAGO 


ALPARGATAS ... 


the seoshore footwear thot 
become urban. convos top. 
hemp soles. woshoble. loces 
give snug fit. rope white or 
black. sizes: men's or ladies’ 
5 to 12. sotist guaran: 
teed. no C.O. Edmond 
Enterprises, Dept. 

ppd. Вох 3133, Chicogo, 


contour 
t-shirt 


A T-shirt made for 

а man. Tapered at arm 
and waist for snug fit. 
Black, white, 
turquoise, beige, light 
blue, or purple. 

Sizes: S, M, L and 
XL. 2.00 ea. ppd. 
Free catalog. No 
C.O.D.'s. Send check 
or money order to: 


the domino 


нее 37 


raw e with pol- 
ished highpoints form ruggedly mascu- 
line, strikingly different cufflinks. For a 
Midas touch, order yours gold-ploted. 
Notural sterling or gold-plated sterling 
$1 5:90 ғ. tax ind. 


Mail orders shipped promptly, 
satisfaction guaranteed. 


Catalog , » | 
Request 772 < Cag 

57 Bellevue Ming 

Upper Montclair. New Jersey 


Four AIR LIFT Units 
Cost Less Than Weekend Trip! 


Enjoy the bump and vibralion-free 
luxury of the most expensive air 
suspensions 一 ol о fraction of the 
cost! Air Lift Spring Controls are 
cir infloloble butyl rubber cylinders 
— designed to control, cushion 
ond stabilize the action of both 
FRONT and REAR spring suspen- 
sions by regulated air pressure, 
FRONT Air Lift units give improved 
roadability, prevent spring sag and 
contribute to SAFER DRIVING. 
REAR Air Lift units efficiently ab- 
sorbs 1000 pound overloads. Over 
о million sets in use. 


FREE 一 reprint of SPEED AGE article, How 
377 


AIR LIFT COMPANY 
Lonsing, Mich. 


In Canoda: 18 Hook Ava. — Toronto 9, Ontarlo 


PERFECT 


GOLF 
FORM 


їн ONLY 7 DAYS 
WHETHER YOU ARE 6 OR 60 


THE GOLF BOOK SENSATION OF 1958 
4 feet form for the noviee. 
та 


perfect principals include Shirley Booth 
as the crafty, widowed matchmaker; 
hirley MacLaine as the game, impulsive 
milliner; Paul Ford as the rich tightwad 
on the make for any sturdy young thing; 
‘Tony Perkins as the nutty Yonkers clerk 
dead set on a one-day fling in New York; 
and Robert Morse as his jumpy, girl-shy 
buddy. Joseph Anthony has directed the 
zany goings-on like he was driving fire 
herses, and the timing of lines and takes 
is exquisite. The only disturbing element 
is the actors’ habit (transplanted from 
the play) of occasionally addressing a 
monolog right to the audience: although 
this charming violation of modern dra- 
matic convention was refreshing on the 
stage, on the verisimilitudinous screen 
¡ús obtrusive and out of whack. But hell, 
you can't have everything. 

Charging his cameras forward, then or- 
dering them to retreat like Scipio Atri 
canus, shooting high and shooting low, 
catching Jimmy Stewart's blue eyes in 
tum bewildered, misty and horrified, 
eliciting a remarkable performance from 
beauteous Kim Novak, pixy-pusscd Al- 
fred Hitchcock has made ап unusually 
contrived but really great suspense movie 
in Vertigo. It is consistently mystifying, 
a litde mystic, damned moving in spots 
and smashes away to an earthquake of a 
climax. Stewart plays a private dick who 
takes a job tailing his ex-school chum’ 
wife (Miss Novak), whose psyche is said 
to be taken over by her dead grand- 
mother. Stewart dogs her, finds that, by 
golly, she is acting loony — visiting an 
art gallery, a grave, showing memory 

pses, eccentric behavior. ‘The pair meet 
when Kim leaps into San Francisco Bay; 
ftcr fishing her out, the shamus takes 
her to his house and chivalrously dries 
her clothes. From here on things get curi- 
ouser and curiouser: it's obvious that 
Kim is twisted at least three ways, and 
Hitchcock wrings some masterful sus 
pense mileage out of close-ups of pro- 
saic items like necklaces and portraits, 


aided by a spooky musical score and spe- 
cial effects that fairly plunge the audi- 
ence inside Stewart's mind. Working 
from the novel From Amongst the Dead, 


scripters Alec Coppel and Sam ‘Taylor 
haven't prettied up the finish one iota 
so you're left kind of stunned, but ap- 
preciative. Like they say. no one will be 
seated during the last 10 minutes. 

The Confessions of Felix Krull follows 
"Thomas Mann's picaresque novel faith- 
fully except when it adds plot substance 
that actually improves upon the delight- 
ful original. It is the fantastic, feather- 
weight history of a draft-dodging, Jady 
killing. gem-heisting German Adonis, 
fatally attractive to young girls, mature 
rons and elderly gentlemen alike, who 
leaves his native Berlin to pursue Dame 
Fortune first in Paris then in Lisbon, first 


of walnut 
With rich, dark, oiled finish; 
thong for hanging. Grooved handle, 
counter-sunk magnet hold 
matching knife (stainless blade), 
Bor size, 11% x 7. 5.75 ppd. 
Kitchen size, 1634 x 11, 10.50 ppd. 

Twining & Buck 


‘our cotolog on request | Solisbury, Conn, 


THE CHODAN SANDAL FOR MEN 


“The only sandal of its kind in the world" 
Hand Made in Switzerland 
The latest thing in leisure footwear 
«hand made of fine leathers molded. 
do the exact contours ot one's foot 
...scieni&al designed lo 
Support and cradie the toot 
yet heaithluny open lo the 


Specily shoe 
size, natural 
lan shade only 
519.95 postage Iree. 
Satistaction guaranteed. 
‘Send check or money order to; 


EDWARD F. S. FRANK 
3005. Michigan Ave., Chicago 4, nois 
DEALERS’ INQUIRIES INVITED 


out tose doring warm 
weather leisure hours. 
Excellent aiso as a 
house shoe. 


your own =F ll 


You'll save money— 
and have lots of fun, too, because 
HEATHKIT high fidelity equipment is 
designed by the pioneer In do-it-yourself 
electronics for your easy, quick 
assembly—even without 
previous experience! 


HEATH CO. 
А subsidiary of Oeystrom, Ine 
BENTON HARBOR 38, MICH. 


send me your FREE S6-cage catalog describ: 
fog hit speaker systems, amohhers, preamplifiers 
and tuners aveslable in kil form, дос! Нот Heath 


Әуезе E 


write for free catalog 


PLAYBOY 


10 


more Ë 


feminine 


toa 
man 


3.50 to 100.00 
plus tox 


L'AIMANT 


PARFUM BY 


Sey Y: 


Compounded and copyrighted by Coty, Ine., in U.S.A. 


as а bellhop then as a counterfeit bluc- 
blood. The comedy is effervescent as a 
glass of Rhine and seltzer: radiates 
rococo, fin-de-siécle grace. Touchy epi- 
sodes involving a masochistic lady novel- 
ist and a homosexual Scottish nobleman 
are handled with exquisite taste and 
true Continental sophistication. The 
performances (spoken in German; Eng 
lish subtitles) are all exactly right; 
young. charm-laden Henry Bookholt 
(nee Horst Buchholz) is Felix to the lite 
and the sort of Living Doll who seems 
doomed to a Hollywood invite and 
steady descent into the abyss of fandom 
nd the drooling of teenage werewolves 
Il over. Lets hope not, for the kid is a 
polished and promising professional who 
deserves a better bred 


RECORDINGS 


Take seven men who have backgrounds 
in big-band swing, who have grown in 
stature and musicianship while they 
evolved with jazz itsell, who now stand 
out as first-rank individual stylists. Get 
them together, have them play a set 
which has the best clements of jamming 
and of arrangement. If you're lucky, as 
well as real bright in having thought this 
up, you'll get an outstanding LP, one that 
rewards repeated listenings and makes 
some erstwhile favorites seem wan by 
contrast. You don’t have to do it, 
though: it's been done. Title: Jaxz Giants 
‘5B (Verve 8248). rsonnel: Stan Getz, 
Gerry Mulligan, Harry Edison, Oscar 
Peterson, Herb Ellis, Ray Brown, Louis 
Bellson. Verdict: a classic. 


Three of the most listenable рор plat- 
ters of the month include the excit 
ing Keely Smith's I Wish You Love (Capi- 
tol 1914; also stereo tape, ZC-42), 
on which the Virginia-born lass (“Then 
ah don't care . . .”) smolders her way 
through 11 luscious love lyrics. Keely’s 
comer whom Capitol thought enough 
of to couple with Frank Sinatra on a 
single a while back—the only time 
Frank has teamed with another vocalist 
since he became a Capitol star. Listen to 
Miss Smith, and you'll know why... 
Peggy Lee's Jump for Joy (Capitol T979) 
pits Peggy against a swinging back- 
ground of Nelson Riddle scorings: add 
Peggy's infectious, gethappy chirping 
and you can't help come up with the fact 
that Joy is a јоу... Its hard to believe 
that 17 years have gone by since a grow- 
ing boy by the name of Sinatra cut such 
dewy ballads as This Love of Mine and 
There Are Such Things with the T.D. 
band. Frankie and Tommy (Victor 1569) is 
all about those wonderful early-Forties 
days when a big band, a vocal group 
(The Pied Pipers) and a skinny kid 
caught the fancy of an entire generation. 


Almost all the good things they did to. 
gether are herein most happily collected. 

The Gerry Mulligan Song Book, Volume 1 
(Pacific Jaz7-1237) is а sax-fiend's special 
Gerry leads the way through seven selec 
tions (all his own compositions) abetted 
by a foursome of the best sax men going 
(Zoot Sims, Al Cohn, Lee Konitz and 
Allen Eager) plus guitar, bass and drums 
an odd combo that makes wondertul 
swinging-cool music which has both 
muscle and suavity. 


Word of Mouth Department: Chaps 
who occasionally relish a solitudi 
summer eve with none but a Pimm's 
Cup and a busy turntable for company 
will be richly rewarded by a whirling ol 
Sir Ralph Richardson Reads Joseph Conrad 
(MGM E3618 ARC). It would be hard 
to imagine a better-mated pair of talents, 
Conrad wrote like nobody else about 
the glamor of the sea and the tropis, 
d Sir Ralph is, for our dough, just 
about the niftiest gumbeater in the 
English-speaking world. In these cx 
cerpts from Youth and Heart of Dark 
ness, there is high adventure, unllageing 
romance and hints of deep horror: in 
short, a jolly good show . . - Richardson 
can also be heard on Dr. Watson Meets 
Sherlock Holmes and The Final Problem (Lon 
don LL 1568), two ulster-tossing Conan 
Doyle yarns in which Sir Ralpb assumes 
the character of the faithful medico. 
Sir John Gielgud plays the saturnine 
sleuth himself and Orson Welles por 
trays the warped and wily Professor 
Moriarty. Scripts and production аге 
only fair, and that customarily rousing 
ranter, Welles, is yawningly casual, but 
the Sirs have a fine time for themselves. 

The Southwest German Radio Orches 
tra of Baden-Baden doesn't do gooden- 
gooden enough with Stravinsky's Firebird 
Suite (Phonotapes-710) to justify your 
rushing out and buying it in stereo il 
you already have a good single-track 
recording. If you haven't, you might 
want this one, despite the fact that tli 
spirited music of the composer оссази 
ally comes through as oompah with 


Ph.D. 


nous 


The Kenny Drew Trio (Kenny's 
piano, Wilbur Ware on bass and Philly 
Joe Jones, drums) have taken six Rodg 
ers tunes from Pal Joey and put together 
a fine, happy, exuberant taping of them 
on Jazz Impressions of Pal Joey (Riverside 
21 Е). Two of the numbers —/ Didn't 
Know What Time It Was and The Lady 
Is а Tramp — follow the screen versions 
The other four use the Rodgers thematic 
material and chord structure as а spring 
board for some solidly swinging impro 
visation. This could be dangerous; in 
this case it works. 

EJ 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL " - 2 
DEAR PLAYBOY з 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS . 7 


THE SWEET SADNESS—Action - PHILIP LEE SMITH 12 
THE PICNIC PAPERS—food ond drink THOMAS MARIO 17 
THE DEVIL TO PAY—fiction STEPHEN BARR 21 


NEW GARB FOR THE NEW LEISURE—satire _ - M. RAMUS 22 
THE BEAVERS OF BROADWAY—article ~ LEONARD LYONS 25 
OFF WITH THEIR BEARDSI— opinion... | COMMANDER EDWARD WHITEHEAD 26 
THE SKINDIVER AND THE LADY—fiction. T. К. BROWN Ш 28 
MUSIC TO MAKE YOUR EYEBALLS POP—pictorial 31 
LAZIEST GIRL IN TOWN—playboy's playmate of the month. 2198 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor. es = 360: 
SIX RECORDS IN SEARCH OF А PENTHOUSE—jozz. _ LEONARD FEATHER 43 


BERMAN ON THE TELEPHONE—enterfainment ооо селт | 
THE МОТ SO TENDER TRAP—article. MARTIN ABRAMSON 47 
.FREDERIC A. BIRMINGHAM 48 


THOSE FABRICATED FABRICS—ott 


POCKET-SIZE P ARISIENNE—pictorial. ша З ALII 
AGE OF THE CHEST 一 humor RICHARD ARMOUR 57 
A TWO-LOVER WOMAN—ribald classic. Е A — 61 


PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL РАТЕВООК— наче! _ PATRICK CHASE 72 


HUGH М. HEFNER editor and publisher 
А. с. SPECTORSKY associate publisher and advertising director 


RAY RUSSELL executive editor ARTHUR PAUL art director 


JACK J. KESSIE associate editor VINCENT т. TAJIRI picture editor 


VICTOR LOWNES Ш promotion director JOHN MASTRO production manager 


ELDON SELLERS special projects PHILIP С. MILLER circulation manager 


KEN PURDY contributing editor; FREDERIC A. BIRMINGHAM fashion director; 
BLAKE RUTHERFORD fashion editor; THOMAS MARIO food & drink editor; 

ACK CHASE travel editor; LEONARD FEATHER jazz editor; ARLENE BOURAS сору 
editor; PAT PAPPAS editorial assistant; JERRY WHITE, JOSEPH H. PACZEK assistant art 
directors; FERN А. HEARTEL production assistant; ANSON MOUNT college bureau; THEO 
FREDERICK reader service; WALTER J. HOWARTH subscription fulfillment: manager. 


GENERAL OFFICES, PLAYBOY BUILDING, 232 Е ONIO STREET. CHICAGO 11, ILLINOIS. RETURN POSTAGE MUST 

ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS, DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS SUBMITTED IF THEY ARE TO BE RETURNED AND MC 

AESPONSINILITY CAM BE ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS. CONTENTS COPYAIGNTEO © 1896 ву нин тов. 
MAY BE REPRINTED 


AND PHOTOGRAPHED ат DON BRONSTEIN: 
BY FRANK BEZ: P. 44-48 PHOTOGRAPHS BY сон BRONSTE 


= 


Paris Doll Р. 52 


AOS8AV'Id 


e vol.5, no. 7 — july, 1958 


THE SWEET SADNESS 


avana one October night, 


1 was мгихе in the Fausto Ваг on Colon Street in 上 
feeling very sorry for myself. 

1 was 36 years old, a reasonably successful, recently divorced businessman. 1 had 
received a small legacy of land on the Isle of Pines, south of Cuba, and had come 
down to see what it was worth. It wasn't worth much. I sold for 5900. І also 
legacy from the Emperor of Japan — eight wounds acquired trying to crash 
ach party at Tulagi. 1 would have sold them for a lot less than $900, On this 
night every one of them ached and quivered in the muggy tropical heat of Cuba's 
rainy scason. I was determined to drink up my $900 in Havana, and, since my 
doctor had warned that a week's binge might be too much for а fellow who had 
survived 11 wartime operations, I was wondering if that might not be the best 
solution to the whole goddamned situation. 

E felt a small flick on my forehead, then another, and another. Somebody was 
spitballing me. I was annoyed and tried to ignore it. Then one fell іп my drink. 
I was obviously the target of one of the three prosties sitting at the other end 
of the bar, all of whom were grinning at me. 

I pushed the drink with the spitball in it petulantly toward Pep 
“Ошо, Pepe. Quién?” 

“La chica, Maria,” һе said, nodding toward one of the girls. Her hair was black, 
curly, and cut short. She wore small, exquisite silver earrings and a hammered 
silver bracelet. She was of medium height, and her full, trim figure was tightly 
encased in а low-cut maroon dress made of some shiny material. 

I scowled. She smiled. She had wonderful white teeth. My scowl faded into a 
grin. This chica was a beautiful animal. 

Perhaps I should say that these Havana chicas are girls who sit in the night 
bars of the port and wait for men. They wear low-cut gowns, and when a man 
enters the bar they all smile and lean forward to demonstrate the abundance of 
their natural resources. They are young and pretty and some might even be called 
stunning. Technically they are prostitutes, but that is an inexact cl: ‘ion 
because they are not materialists, and, while they take the money, they do not 
always insist on it. If they like a man they will accommodate him simply pour 
le sport, as the French say, or because they are sad that he cannot afford to rent 
their bodies for a night. They do not think of themselves as putas, but as artistas. 
Which, come to think of it, most of them certainly are. 

I nodded slightly to this chica, Maria, and she came sauntering up to sit be- 
side me, her hips twitching like a cats. This is a large order of female, I thought 
to myself. Muy grande! 

Now, although I know enough key words in Spanish to do the necessary thing: 
such us ordering a meal or insulting a bus driver, I don’t really hablo, Since she 
did not hablo inglés, our conversation got off to a rather confused start. 

She wriggled around on the bar stool, smoothed down her dress, took one of 
my hands in hers, and smiled. “Mejora,” she said. That's better. 

"Yes," I said, patting her hand reassuringly. 1 went on to say that I was not a 

guy to be prejudiced against a person because of the line of work they were in. 
"But I don't think I'm interested in you professionally at the moment,” I added, 
‘although you're very attractive.” 
To this inane little speech she merely replied languidly: "Fats Don 
1 thought she was trying to kid me with a Latin phrase she had picked up in 
church or somewhere. I laughed and started “Omnia Gallia,” but 1 couldn't re- 
member the rest of it and it sounded silly anyway. 

The jukebox had switched to another record. She closed her eyes ecstatically. 


, the bartender. 


fiction ву PHILIP LEE SMITH 


whore or not, she laid a finger on an empty heart 


ILLUSTRATION BY ZERE ZINER 


PLAYBOY 


14 


“Knocking Goal,” she breathed. 

“I didn't quite get that.” 

“Knocking Goal. Knocking Goal. You 
lige?” E 
I never knocked one that I know of. 
fun?" 

“1 lige Knocking Goal mucho!” 

А familiar voice of liquid honey 
issued from the jukebox. Of course. 
Knocking Goal. Nat "King" Cole. Span- 
ish was really very simple once you got 
the hang of it. 

“And a happy Harry Belafonte to 
you," I said brightly. 

She laughed and squeezed my hand 
against her breast. “I lige Harry Bela- 
fonte mucho!” 

We had found a common language. 
Things were going great for me, Nat 
“King” Cole, and Harry Belafonte. I be- 
gan to feel better. Mucho. 

“Drink?” I asked. 

"Bay-beh,” she replied, as if tutoring 
a child. 

I was with it now. “Beber,” pro- 
nounced “bay-beh,” means “drink” іп 
Spanish. 

“Bay-beh, baby?” 

‘The bar rang with laughter. 

"S" she said. She squeezed my leg 
companionably with her long fingers. 
“Absinthe, Pepe.” 

Absinthe, the parfait d’amour, which 
is so aphrodisiacal that it cannot be 
sold in the United States. 

“Dos absinthe, Pepe,” I said. I was 
beginning to feel really wonderful. 

We sipped absinthe. 1 was slowly 
enveloped in a warm, sensuous drowsi- 
ness. She played erotically with my 
fingers. I bit the lobe of her ear lightly. 
She kissed me on the lips; her strong. 
half-parted red lips around the gleaming 
white teeth worked sweetly and with 
purpose against my own. 

1 knew then that I had never really 
been kissed before, with such a mean- 
ingful pressure of the lips, bringing 
into quivering awareness every nerve in 
my body. 

Suddenly I wanted this magnificent 
jungle she-thing very much. I knew she 
was for rent, and I knew I would pay 
any price to get her, although I had 
never paid for a girl before. 

"Cuánto?" 1 whispered. 
en dollah liddle wile, twenny all 
night.” She knew the English for that. 

“Dónde?” I didn't want to take her 
to my hotel. 

She took me by the hand and we left 
the bar. She hailed a taxi and gave di- 
rections to the driver. 

From a hundred bars and cabarets in 
the hot Havana midnight came the 
insistent rhythms of the bongo drums, 
and the olive and brown and black 
bodies swayed and twitched, came 
together and parted. Passion hung in 
the air, an almost tangible thing. We 
Kissed and explored with a tender 


ferocity. Forgotten now my dolor, my 
loneliness, the pain of my wounds. All 
the sensations of which my body was 
capable were concentrated. It had never 
been like this before. Never. 

The driver whecled the cab reck- 
lessly down the Avenida del Puerto 
toward the docks, then along Desam- 
parados its lounging sailors and 
neon-lit honky-tonks, and pulled up at 
last at a waterfront motel near the foot 
of Aguila Street. The proprietor, a 
smiling- young Cuban, showed us into 
a room, turned on the lights, and 
backed discreetly out. The girl locked 
the door and turned to face me. 

If an American tourist couple from 
Beloit or Evansville ever happened by 
some twist of fate to get lodging for the 
night in this “motel,” they would un- 
doubtedly be both shocked and mysti- 
fied by the decor. The whole room was 
cunningly designed for erotic arousal. 
There were mirrors in the headboard 
and footboard of the big, low bed and 
mirrors in the ceiling and on all four 
walls and in the floor. Between the 
mirrors were photographs and paintings 
to excite the imagination and suggest 
all sorts of forbidden pleasures. At vari- 
ous points around the room were carved 
phallic and fertility symbols. There 
were backless chairs and couches and a 
variety of plumed and feathered instru- 
ments of amorous dalliance. 

The immediate effect of all this was 
to depress me terribly. I could feel de- 
sire draining out of me under the 
impact of that diabolical room. Oh, 
sordid, sordid! 

Maria must have sensed all this, for 
she came and sat beside me on the bed 
and stroked my hand comfortingly- 

“Iz OK, hon-ee,” she said. She smiled 
understandingly and kissed me, not 
passionately, but sweetly. Con triste. 

“Iz OK.” She reached for a light 
switch in back of the bed. The lights 
in the ceiling and in all the mirrors 
went off, leaving only the bed visible in 
a dim, soft glow. The hideous room was 
shut out; only the bed and the girl and 
the lonely, aging man were real. 

She stood up and began taking off 
her clothes. It was a Kind of refined but 
immensely suggestive striptease, and 
when she stood before me at last, com- 
pletely naked, my desire returned with 
a rush and every nerve and cell ached 
for her. 

For what stood before me was the 
most exotically beautiful woman I had 
ever seen. Her body was magnificently 
molded in shining bronze. Her nip- 
ples, erect with desire, were dark against 
the gold of her breasts, with just the 
faintest tinge of fire at the tips. She 
kept on her silver bracelet and earrings, 
and around one ankle was а silver 
anklet with a tiny bell. She had put a 
white gardenia in her hair, and its 


scent, mingled with that of her own 
perfume, filled the air with a vague, 
delicate promise of delight. 

She bore me down upon the bed and 
undressed me. Then, with every part of 
her golden body, she loved me as I had 
never been loved before, as I had never 
known a woman could love а man. 
Skillfully and with a delicious delibera- 
tion she used that marvelous body as an 
instrument of satisfaction that drew 
from me torturously and tenderly every 
last spark of tension and desire and left 
me at peace. Floating serenely on that 
tide of satiety, we lay there for a long 
while. We stretched languorously and 
rubbed our toes together and she lit two 
cigarettes and put one in my mouth. 

I reached out my hand and touched 
one of her breasts. 

"Quién?" I said. 

"Fats Domino." 

“Quién?” 

“Harry Belafonte.” 

My hand moved down her body. 
"Quién?" 

“Knocking Goal.” 

"| lige Knocking Goal mucho!” 

She laughed, delighted with the little 
game. 

Slowly an irritating idea speeded into 
my mind. Any man with ten dollah for 
liddle wile or twenny for all night 
could play this game with her. Ten 
lousy bucks would make the night a 
sparkling thing for him, too. How many 
times had those obscene mirrors re- 
flected that brazen torso twisted into 
the image of some lecher's imagination? 
After all, she was a whore. 

So, because the idea hurt me and I 
wanted to hurt her, 1 said smugly: “For 
me, mucho por amor, primero por di- 
nero.” I had loved a great deal, but this 
was the first time I had paid for it. 

It did hurt her. She averted her eyes 
for a moment. Then she took my hand, 
kissed it, and placed it on her breast. 

“Para mi, mucho por dinero, primero 
por amor." She had done it many times 
for money, but this was the first time 
for love. 

The word "love" in the mouth of a 
whore is supposed to be a lie and usu- 
ally is, but somchow I could believe her. 
After all, she too had reached 
breathless instant of tiny death in my 
embrace. And there was that something 
between us 一 there isn't any name for 
it. We had touched each other. I don't 
mean sexually. That, too, but also the 
other thing. We were simpático. Whore 
or not, she had laid a finger on an 
empty heart. 

“Amor?” I said. 

“sir 

1 kissed her hand and put it over my 
heart. 

“Me, too,” I said. “Amor.” 

She sighed and smiled, because it was 

(continued overleaf) 


15 


PLAYBOY 


16 


SWEET SADNESS 


amor, and nothing could ever come of 
it. 

“Triste,” she said. The sweet 

I shook my head. "No. Dolor. 
bad sadness. 

She nodded. "Muy dolor.” 

That was the only time I paid her. 
We were together constantly after that 
We took the 32 bus out to Playa la 
Concha, swam іп the calm, turquoise 
waters of the Gulf, then got daiquiris 
from the bar and sipped them when we 
sunned on the yellow sand. We went to 
the movies and held hands like high 
school kids. We sat on benches in 
Parque Zayas and watched the small 
boys play baseball. We took the night 
from Batabano over to the Isle of 
Pines and spent a week there, taking 
the mineral baths at Santa Fe and rid- 
ing horseback into the pine-covered. 
marble hills. And when I worked in my 
hotel room, she sat and watched me 
with a curious intentness or roamed 
restlessly about, smoking and waiting. 
And when she could stand it no longer 
she would come over and press her 
brcasts against my cheek and begin the 
teasing that would bring us finally to 
the bed and a wild, wonderful joy. 

Maria was more than my chica. She 
was my tender comrade, my girl. my 
lover. I did not ask questions about her 
past. I knew it must have been bad. 
And she did not question me. Never 
once did she ask me about my marital 
status. We had each other for the pres 
ent. It was enough. 

One day she invited me to come to 
her casa. She had never done that be- 
fore. It was an address on Aguila Street 
near Colon, a neighborhood that had 
once housed the famous brothel Casa 
Marina which so fascinated Joseph 
Hergesheimer. Many chicas now lived 
in this area. 110 Aguila Street was [ar 
from being a fashionable address. 

Her two-room walk-up turned out to 
be cool and spotlessly clean, A little 
statue of Saint Lazaro, the patron saint 
of prostitutes, pimps and the poor, 


(continued from page 14) 


ness. 
The 


stood in one corner of the combined 


liv! and bedroom with a votive can- 
dle burning in front of it. We sat dow: 
on the bed and embraced. 

The door from the kitchen opened 
and in toddled a cute little boy of about 
four. He stood in front of me and 
smiled shyh 

“Papa,” he said. 

“Well, who are you?” I asked gaily. 

But I needed only one look at those 
black eyes and fine, even features to 
know who he was, and I did not feel 
very 

Maria said simply: “Niño mio.” M 
little one. 


1 had never thought of her as а 
mother. Or even as having been mar 
ried. Or (Oh, God!) being married. 

But the shock of learning that my 
chica had a four-year-old child was noth- 
ing to what came next. Placing h 
hands on her stomach, she said: 
niño.” Another little one. 

I couldn't believe it. 1 had noticed 
the soft fullness of her body but had 
thought it only that roundness of the 
lower midriff that Latins consider 
attractive but that American women go 
to great lengths to conceal. 

"You mean youre pregnant? Pre- 
Пада?” 

She lowered her eyes. "Si." 
"How many months? Meses?” 


“Husband? Marido?” 
She shrugged her shoulders. “He go. 
mos! 1 don’ know ware. 

1 was hurt. 1 was angry. I felt de- 
ceived. But gradually it dawned on me 
that she had paid me a great compli- 
ment by asking me to come to her са 
and meet her little boy, and by telling 
me that she was pregnant. She trusted 
me. And she was in a terrible spot. 1 
couldn't take her to the States with me. 
I couldn't stay in Havana and support 
her. I had contracts. commitments, and 
an unbreakable business date in New 
York the following week. 

Her husband had vamoosed. And, 
pregnant, she could not much longer 
sit in the bars and rent her body to 
men. I began to feel the deepest com- 
passion for her. 

"Amor por marido?” I asked her 
gently. 

Her eyes filled with tears. "No. Amor 
por usted." 

She did not love her husband. She 
loved mc. 
ido borrachón," she said. Her 
nd was a drunk. 

He was more than that, as it turned 
out. He was also a murderer. In Span- 
ish and broken English and with many 
gestures and tears, she told me the 
story. 

She and her husband, Felipe, had 
been married five years ago when she 
s 17. He was a professional boxer 
who fought under the name of Kid 
Gonzalez. Things had been fine at first. 
Then he had started drinking. When 
he was drinking he was ugly. He could 
get no more fights. Their money ran 
out He got drunk and stayed away 
from home for days, weeks. That was 
when she began leaving the baby in the 
care of a neighbor's little girl and sat 
in the night bars to invite the rental of 
her body. 

But when Felipe did come home, he 
s insanely jealous of her. He would 


not let her sit in the bars. One night. 
about two months ago, he had seen her 
enter a hotel with an American. He had 
waited in an alley and when they came 
out of the hotel he had pulled the 
American into the alley and beaten him 
so badly that he had died. So now the 


police were looking everywhere Tor 
Felipe. 
How, I asked myself bitterly, did 1 


get into this тез? And how was I to 
get өш? Felipe had killed ап American 
who had slept with his wife. I was also 
an American who had slept with his 
wife. I must get out of Cuba right 
away, I thought. I must forget this 
Habana chica. 

She sensed the 
"Amor por usted!" 
hon-ec, don’ go!" 
ou didn't tell me you were m 
ried,” I said virtuously. “Puta perfida!" 
aithless whore. 
he threw herself. down on the bed 
nd be; wild, uncontrolled sob- 
bing. The little boy, watching her big 
eyed and amazed, began to cry too. 

But my shock, fear, and revulsion 
quickly subsided, and I felt for her the 
greatest and most tender affection. She 
had not deceived me. She had been 
courageous enough to tell me the truth. 
And I was being a real s.o.b. about it. 

І began to feel ashamed. I stroked 
her hair and kissed her. “Amor.” I said 
gently. “Amor and dolor.” Love and 
the bad sadness. 

We embraced for a long moment. 
The little boy, reassured, toddled out 
into the other room. 

“What are you going to do?” I asked. 
“Qué?” 

She pointed to her stomach. “Medico 
take out. Mañana.” 

“No!” I remonstrated. “Niño muy 
grande. Muerte!” The pregnancy was 
too advanced. She might die. 

But she was adamant. She would 
have the baby “taken out.” Then she 
could sit in the bars again. How could 
she support two children? And if she 
did not have the abortion, how could 
she support onc? 

Her logic was irrefutable. How, in- 
deed? There are no jobs for women of 
her class in Cuba. In the Cuban scheme 
of things. her caste was as surely fixed 
as that of an Indian untouchable. She 
was an “artist 

We hadn't spoken of money since 
that first night at the waterfront end of 
Aguila Street. Now I opened my wallet 
and handed her two 10-peso bills. She 
threw them in my face. 

I kissed her and left. 

1 didn't get much sleep that night. 
My poor, passionate, dear Habana chi- 
ca, what will become of you? Yet, in 
the back of my mind, I could not help 

(concluded on page 68) 


revulsion in me 
she led. “Oh, 


THE PICNIC PAPERS 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY OICK BOYER 


grandioso grub and gear for fine al fresco feasting 


A when a couple contemplates 
a meal cooked in the city and toted 
10 Ше wilderness, the sleeker sex auto- 
matically takes charge. А man, it's as- 
sumed, is capable of building a clay oven 
or pouring Scotch over rocks. but the 
woman knows better how to fill the 
thermos and pat the potato salad: ‘The 
assumption is correct if you happen to be 
the kind who can tolerate cucumber sand- 


food and drink ву THOMAS MARIO 


wiches on thin bread or prune surprise 
salad with skim-milk punch. But if you 
want mugs of finnan haddie chowder, 
sliced rare steak sandwiches with their 
own beef juice trapped in great crusty 
slabs of French bread, wedges of mature 
stilton cheese, or coffee with cognac — if, 
in short, you pine for a picnic at once 
rural and urbane, a true PLAYBOY pic- 
nic, you'd Lest read this screed and take 


matters into your own hands. 

Your outdoor menu should reflect a 
certain casy harmony. If, for example, 
you're serving cold sliced Sauerbraten, 
then a German potato salad, onion rolls 
and Munchener beer would be the most 
natural menu mates. И isn't necessary, 
however. to go to ridiculous extremes 
and feel dismay just because you're un- 
able to serve shark-fin soup before your 


17 


You can't see the trees for the 
picnic paraphernalia—o glittering 
gathering of gear to make your 
woadland repasts delicious and 
delightful. 

TOP ROW, | ta r: a lawdown, sturdily 
webbed aluminum armchair; 
$10.95. N'lcer bucket totes 3 Ibs. 
of cubes for your cockta 

is made of pliable pla 

can't break, can't dent, 

carrying cradle; $9.95. 
Long-handled salt and pepper 
shakers keep your mitts out of the 
flames; $1 the set. 

Gallon-size Thunderbird jug sports 
а swing-aut spaut for peddling 
potables; $7.98. 

Regency leather-covered transistor 
portable radio lets you listen to 
what's going on back in the 

stuffy city; $44.95. 


MIDDLE ROW, | to r: Thunderbird 
ice chest boasts fiberglass insulation, 
can't stain, corrode, scuff or rust; 
$21.95. Mister Chef stainless steel 
caok-out set comes with super-long 
Pakkawood handles and rawhide 
thongs, includes tongs on center 
tree; $24.95 the set. 

The biggest frying pan an God's 
green earth is cast iron, 24” in 
diameter; $12.95. Open your clams 
sans calami 

aluminum opener that won't 
damage the meat or carve up 
your thumb; steel blade divi 

shell, juices are trapped in pan 
below; sorry, won't do for oysters; 
$6.95. That green Stanley thermos 
is unbreakable, is a whiz at 
keeping grub or grog hot or cold, 
hos a seamless, stainless steel 
lining; one-gallon size with deftly 
shielded push-button faucet; $23. 


BOTTOM ROW, | lo r: а sumpluaus 
service-for-six British willow-wicker 
picnic basket with leather bindings, 
stainless steel cutlery, stainless 
thermos jugs, salad and relish 
containers; $69.50. You've never 
munched a baked potato unless 
you've had one done to a тесіу, 
magnificent turn in a Rosin Baker; 
this one comes with 10 Ibs. of 
re-usable gum rosin; includes heavy 
stee! charcoal pot, aluminum legs; 
with rosin kettle removed, it's a 
conventional grill; $26.95. 
Succulent steamer clams and tasty 
clam broth can be perked in that 
metal clam steamer; juice drains 
joted section for simple 
serving; $11.95. The thingamabob 
that looks like а hair dryer is really 
a battery-powered brass fire 
blower that whips a spark into a 


Straw bottle basket lugs two jugs af your 
favorite mountain dew, plus light snacks an 
the other side; $7.50. Folding steel table- 
and-bench opens like а book, seats four 
happy revelers, has no legs to get in the 
way of theirs; carries like a suitcase; 532.50. 


Super Hang-It-All, with versatile vertical 
design, can broil or rotisserie an either side, 
Prepares complete meal plus coffee in ane 
swoop; $24.95. Fiberglass-insulated Thermo- 
Keep keeps hot grub hot, cold beer cold, 
in separate Koroseal compartments; 512.95. 


L to r: Cowhide case carries twa glass- 
lined thermas jugs; $17.50. Na spilled 
drinks with this midget redwood picnic table 
and 8 embedded drinking glasses; $11.95. 
Walnut carving board with magnetized knife; 
$9.50. Webbed and low falding chair 
keeps your bottam off the grass; $10.95. 


lobster Cantonese. As a matter of fact, 
if you have access to a gourmet empo- 
rium, you can buy shark-fin soup just 
п now get French rooster combs 
| eggs if youre so dispose 
ng these recondite foods, it’s al- 
ways a good idea to try them privately 
before you pass them along to your pic- 
partner. One costly imported shrimp 
paré, for instance, packed under a well- 
known label, is dull and hardly recog- 
nizable as shrimp. On the other hand, 
п inexpensive pack of smoked mussels, 
when sampled, may well turn out to be 
tangy, completely luscious seafood that 
tast 
Perspic cious picnickers | know that the 
main problem of portage is how to keep 
hot things hot and cold things cold. No 
vacuum container can maintain its orig- 
inal temperature indefinitely. Optimum 
heat or cold can be generally counted 
on for four hours. Naturally, if you 
open а thermos of daiquiris three or 
four times on the way to your picnic, 
the drinks will soon lose their icy snap. 
Resist the temptation. Before ladling or 
pouring hot foods into a thermos, be 
sure to fill it with scalding water for 
five to 10 minutes. For keeping foods 
cold, chill the thermos В ice water 
for the same period of time. If perish- 
able food isn't carried in а thermos, but 
is transported portable freezer or 
insulated bag. and there is any doubt 
about keeping the edibles sufficiently 
cold, use refrigerants in generous quan- 
tities. You can get them іп cans. or as 
gel plastic sacks; stow them in your 
rnight before packing with 
the picnic grub and they'll emanate an 
arctic chill for many hours. You can also 
get a few hunks of dry ісе at most drug- 
gists and soda fountains; this, too, will 
do a lot more than ice to keep loods 
frigid, and there's no messy meltage to 
worry about. You'll want to tote ice too, 
of course — for drinks that demand it. 
For this noble purpose, a separate ісе 
vier, insulated, is recommended. 
While a good basket party is relaxed 
and knockabout, its never accidental. 


as you с 


es like seafood. 


freezer ove 


Before you draw a single anchovy from 
st take pencil and paper 


a can, you m 
in hand and make out the picnic list, 
including drink, food and equipage- 
Unless you do this, you'll find yourself 
all prepared to serve gin and tonic minus 
the gin, or ready to devour the ham 
while the mustard pot reposes on a shelf 
50 miles in the rear. Often, іп сопсегп- 
ing oneself with the niceties of haute 
cuisine, it’s easy to forget simple acces 
sories. You may be planning to cat right 
in your own air-conditioned car or on 
a flat rock beside an isolated brook, but 
you must nevertheless provide such 
items as tableware, including serving 
spoons, serving forks or carving equip- 
ment; a tablecloth; big napkins (take 
an extra batch because much of the cat- 


ing is via the hands); salt, pepper and 
other condiments, including catsup, mus- 
tard or bottled meat sauce; bread or 
rolls, butter; fresh or powdered cream, 
sugar; cigarettes, matches —and every 
other accessory that comes to mind for 
a civilized expedition. Try. if possible, 
to assemble all food and utensils in one 
place for easy packing at the last mo- 
ment. 

Picnickery today is no longer confined 
to the old collation of fried chicken, 
cold sandwiches and the invariable hard. 
boiled eggs. Any man who owns a wide- 
mouth thermos jug can now serve hot 
terrapin Maryland just as easily as he 
can pour rum collinses or iced collec. 
Hot chowders, cream soups and bouil. 
lons, even in the middle of the summer 
turn out to be wonderful picnic 
preludes, Salted foods. like Jordan al 
monds or Macadamia nuts, are espe 
ly plea 

With а little judicious shopping and 
some cooking — not a hell of a lot 一 
easy to assemble the kind of outdoor 
meal that Pepys once described as “noble 

nd enough." At stores with rotisseries, 


for instance, you can buy freshly roasted 
chickens, or, on special order, squabs, 
Cornish hens or turkeys. Delicatessens 


now provide anything from barbecued 
spareribs to kosher corned beef. In the 
gourmet sec 


ns of large department 
stores, like Macy’s in New York or the 
City of Paris in San 
choose freshly prepared appetizers, en- 
trees and main courses. Frozen-food case 
іш stores everywhere are laden with 
ready-to-eat repasts from continental hors 
d'oeuvres to velvety cheesecakes. Finally, 
if you're still a member іп good standing 
at your own club, or if you're recognized 
at a fine bistro, you can always order be- 
forehand your own special hash. casserole 
or bonne-bouche ready to load in the 
wicker basket. 

Here now for wayside epicures is a pas- 
sel of rLaysoy picnic menus. all tested 
under our very own apple tree 


#1 

Hot Сат Май сте 

Cold Shell Steak Sandwiches 

Potato Salad with Chives 

Dill Chip Pickles 

dle 

Camembert Cheese, 

Coffee with Cognac 

А 13-07. can of clam Madrilene will 
provide two portions. Open the can and 
bring the soup to a rapid boil before 
pouring it into the thermos. Tell your 
butcher to cut the shell steak (porter: 
house minus the filet, flank and bone) 
at least three inches thick. Allow eight 
to 12 ozs. of boned meat per portion 
1 the thick steak under а strong 
flame until well browned on cach sid 
Inside will be undone at this point. 

(concluded on page 58) 


rancisco, you can 


PICNIC 


Bartlett Pear 


с> ТИЕ DEVIL TO PAY 


“йч ‚ш ТР _ 


the stranger’s face was 
as bleak and cold as 


Й the surface of the moon 


fiction By STEPHEN BARR 


SIR SWITHIN MONTROSS arrived at the door 
of his house in a mood of ultimate frus- 
tration. He had lost at cards and at the 
races, he had failed at love and he was 
about to fail at business if he didn't 
watch his step. His golf was shot to hell. 
Пе went in and walked heavily to his 
study and, approaching the decanter 

tray. resolutely picked up а Боше of 
4 whiskey. 

d shouldn't do that if I were you," a 
2 voice behind him said. 

Sir Swithin put the Боше down auto- 
matically and, turning around, saw, sit- 
ting in his winged stran 
ger with rather noticeable eyebrows set 
at diflerent levels. 

“Who the devil are you, he in 
quired, “and how did you get in?” 

“Forgive me for not rising,” said the 
stranger, "I am . . . tired beyond ай 
comprehension. 1 came to see you, Sir 
= Swithin.” 

“Well, you see me, and now get out!” 
said Sir Swithin Montross, “or 1 shall 
call the police!” 

The stranger continued to look at him 
— not smiling, not frowning. but almost 
as though he were weighing him. ‘The 
confounded blackguard had a little 
goatec. Some kind of foreigner? Evening 
clothes, though, Goodish cut. “Did 
Soames let you in?" said Sir Swithin. 
Е ause if he did — 

“No one let me in,” the stranger said. 
“However, 1 am here and you and I 
might talk business. You have something 
1 want. 
“The silver?” sneered Sir Swithin, “or 
(continued on page 24) 


me A 


S ami, 


ALTSCHULER 


21 


22 


it’s time for men to reassert the 


natural privilege of gaudy plumage 


NEW GARB 
FOR THE 
NEW LEISURE 


THE TIMID STEPS which have been taken 
by the designers of male fashions to give 
today’s man equal sartorial status with 
women, have been pitifully inadequate. 
A few Italian frills, some French ruffies, 
a bit of Riviera coloring and Basque de- 
sign—these are inept gestures revealing 
a paucity of imagination and a slavish 
fear unworthy of the new leisure and 
the new emancipation from Ivy. Why 
should women's magazines have a lock 
on haute couture? A rhetorical question; 
as these pages show, they no longer do. 


Pour le sports car owner, the influence is rugged 
American. Note the rich adaptation of black leather 
jacket and blue jeans (a tribute to our J.D.s), the 
styling of the Western buckskin shirt (a tribute to 
TV), the backlacing of ventilated sports pumps. 


Functional is the word for the duck-hunting cover- 
all, with its off-the-Adam's-apple rolled collar, smart 
rear venting, wrap-around zipper. The red flannel 
origins of the garment are a tribute to red flannel. 


What golfer could fail to make a hole in one when 
wearing the new plunging neckline sweater, as 
rugged as the Scottish heath whence it came; the 
snooded сар, adapted from the Legionnaire Кері; 
spiked sandals with their ever-so-British tongues. 


The world has been scoured to bring today's con- 
tinental beachcomber its leisure-time riches. From 
coconut scuffs to Pan-American hat, this toggery 
will take smart beaches by storm — or hurricane. 


Satire By M. RAMUS 


Adapted from the Lederhosen of Germany, the 
basic black gardener's romper gives the exurbanite 
the new “little boy” look, provides textural contrast 
to the gossamer shirt, smart foam kneeling pads. 


Nautical niceties for the new man feature a daring 
use of hemp piping on shirt closure and cuffs, car- 
ried out in sandals modified from those sported 
by quaint, poverty-stricken Greek squid fishermen. 


‘The new leisure finds its ultimate apotheosis of 
self-expression in color-coordinated formal wear. 
What damsel could resist the nostalgic revival of 
the pink shirt, the casually rolled Edwardian cuffs, 
or the subtle matching of bows at chin and toes? 


23 


PLAYBOY 


24 


DEVIL TO PAY 


зи here to blackmail me?” 

se don't think anything so 
the stranger, “and please 
any more whiskey." he 
added as Sir Swithin reached for a glass 
and picked up the whiskey again, “из 
very bad for you. Not that it's your body 
I'm interested іп...” 

Sir Swithin poured himself an enor- 
mous amount of straight whiskey, and 
sat dow Then, sir," he said, " 
is it of mine you are interested іш 
Ве stranger smiled for the first time. 
"E really don't know how to answer 
you,” he said. "Some things defy accurate 
definition.” He let his voice stop and it 
echocd in the distant spheres. 

“Sounds like a touch,” Sir Swithin 
said, and drained his glass. 

“No, I am not asking you to lend me 
money,” said the stranger. “I am talking 
about something far less mundane — 
something you don't even know you 
have. 

"Hah," said Sir Swithin, refilling his 
“then I probably shan't miss it, 
He stood up, taking another glass. 
"Will you join me?” 

^A liule brandy, if you please,” said 
the stranger, “neat.” 

Sir Swithin filled a glass and handed 
it to him. It went down the stranger's 
throat as though it had been poured 
onto a cinder pathway, “I think,” said 
Sir Swithin, “that I know who you are.” 

The stranger nodded but this time he 
did not smile — his face was as bleak and 
cold as the surface of the moon. 

“But you sec," went on Sir Swithin, 
“you've come to the wrong shop. 1 have 
no soul.” It was a pleasing thought and 
Sir Swithin forgot his troubles. “But sup- 
posing I had — what have you to offer 
me for it?” 

“The usual things,” said the stranger. 
“Not what you want, but what you think 
you want. Three things.” 

Quite," said Sir Swithin, and refilled 
ses. “But tell me,” he asked, 
ways three wishes?” 

“You have three things that trouble 
haven't you?" 

ED er. Swithin thought 
over. The horses — yes, no one could 
be as good a judge of horseflesh as he 
and have such bad Ішек: and the same 
h cards — bad hands and worse part- 
ners. And his golf — it really came under 
the same heading, play, but here the 
trouble was different. He was the second 
best player in his club, and no effort on 
his or variation in luck had ever 
caused him to beat Pillsbury. When the 
club champion was off his game so was 
Sir Swithin, and if Sir Swithin, owing to 
some vagary of the wind, achieved a 
three for the seventh hole, Pillsbury did 
an incredible two. Then Millicent, with 
her damned, beseeching come-on look 


are 


(continued from page 21) 


that meant nothing. And business — that 
was worst of all. 

“I make this offer to you, Sir Swithin: 
free and with no stringy I will give you 
your first wish. Will that convince you 

Montross looked at him narrowly. 
"Very handsome of you, I'm sure 
said. "Have to think it over for a bit. 
The first wish . . . which would that be? 
The race track, or қой? No — ridiculous. 
сет? Again no — anyway, she must 
the wishing. 
said the stranger. 


ng possibilities of the stock ex- 
He didn't need а wish 一 he 
needed information. 

"Sell your mining shares," the stranger 
said. "All of them. Tomorrow morning, 
the moment the exchange opens.” 

“Then what do 1 do?” 


change. 


“Get it 
afternoon.” 

‘What do 1 do in the afternoon?” 

“Tomorrow is Derby Day—or had 
you forgotten? Put the money on Fox 
Fire—to win,” said the stranger, and 
his eyes seemed to glow. 

“But — but Fox Fire is a rank out- 
side: 
Precisely,” said the stranger, “17 to 
one. If you're careful and spread it 
around you shouldn't hurt the odds too 
much. And now I really must be going. 
I shall see you tomorrow evening.” The 
stranger disappeared through the French 
windows into Sir Swithin's garden, and 
the sound of some exotic night bird 
came in from the darkness with the 
petrol fumes. Sir Swithin went upstairs 
to bed. 


cash and be ready for the 


When he awoke the next morning he 
looked at his watch and jumped out of 
bed. Where was Soames? Why had he 
not wakened him? Where was his early- 
morning cup of tea? The answer — 
pinned to the door of the valet’s empty 
bedroom — was quite explicit. "I cannot 
work for a man like you, Sir Swithin 
Montross,” it said in cold type, “if you 
call yourself a man. You are not a person 
of whom I should care to have a refer- 
ence from.” 

“The man's mad,” Sir Swithin mut- 
tered, and went down to cope with the 
kitchen, Cook was on her day off and he 
would have to make his own breakfast, 
but he gave it up when he found that 
every egg in the larder was addled. After 
a cup of black coflee—the cream had 
soured — he started for the city in his 
little Bendey, but his heart pounded like 
а uiphammer and he went instead to 
Harley Street. Here he was examined 


and frowned over. 
“Remember what I told you about the 
said the specialist. 

"said Si within. and took 
en. He drove to the 
city and his heart was calmer now — no 
doubt the pill. Selling his mining shares 
was rather fun, and so wis getting the 
cash: everyone looked shocked. He was 
feeling pretty well and decided to ring 
up Millicent, the dear girl. He went to 
a telephone booth in Cornhill and called 
her number. She answered, herself 一 
immediately. 

"Hello. Millicent,” 

“this is Wuggy. - 

"Oh!" she replied, “ugh!” 
“Why, whats Ше matu 
"How dare you call me!" she said. 
“You're the most heartless man I ever 
. . you're soulles 
Sir Swithin said 


he said to her, 


"But, 
anxiously, “I only wanted to —' 

“I won't talk to you!” she said. “I 
never want to see you again, ever! Don't 
call me — ever!” The phone went dead, 
and so did Sir Swithin's spirit. He stag- 
gered out of the phone booth and drove 
unstcadily to the golf links. When he got 
to the clubhouse he looked around for 
Pillsbury and saw a tall, thin figure 
standing at the bar. He went to him and 
slapped him on the shoulder. 

“How about a game, old bean?" 
said. 

"Why," said the other, turning around, 
“I should be simply delighted!" It wasn't 
Pillsbury. though. It was the club dud. 
"They looked rather alike from bchind, 
actually. 

Tt was too late to draw back and Sir 
Swithin got his clubs from the locker 
room and followed him out to the first 
tee. Well, if he couldn't have a game 
with Pillsbury at least he could give this 
fool a lesson. But from the first to the 
18th hole every shot he made went 
wrong. In driving he sliced, in his ар: 
proach shots he hooked — nothing went 
right except the putting, but by then it 
was too late and the club dud beat him. 

Back in the clubhouse he had a whis- 
key and soda, and made one more try 
at calling Millicent, but as soon as she 
heard his voice she hung up. 

Then it was time for the Derby. 

He got into his Bentley and drove to 
the track. Within half an hour he had 
placed bets and the odds had 
dropped to cight to one, Within another 
half hour the favorite had run out and 
Fox Fire had won by three lengths. 
Swithin collected his unscemly winnings 
and drove back to London, but what 
good to him now was all this moncy? 
Without Millicent to share his good Ior- 
tune? And what had happened to his 
golf? 

He drove to the garage to park the car, 
and the owner on seeing him came out 

(concluded on page 70) 


he 


A pride of bristling beavers hoists the bubbly ot Sordi’s. Left to right: publicity poobah Jim Moran, Schweppesman Commander 


Edward Whitehead, mi 


ical director Lennie Hayton, record exec-band leader Mitch Miller, humorist Arthur Kober, octor-playwright 


Peter Ustinov, editor-critic Leo Lerman, author Gerald Kersh, caricaturist Al Hirschfeld ond conductor of West Side Story Max Goberman. 


THE BEAVERS OF BROADWAY 
facial foliage for fun and profit 


article Ву LEONARD LYONS 


THE TWO MEN in the restaurant booth 
studied the dark-bearded one who had 
just entered. He was Robert St. John, 
the commentator and newspaper corre 
spondent. Then one of the men left the 
booth, approached St. John and said. 
“Beg your pardon, sir; but my friend 
insisted that I ask you why you wear a 
beard.” 

Mr. St. John stared at the stranger, 
and replied, "Tell your friend that it's 
none of his business. 

"Ah, but it és his business" the 
stranger said. "My friend is the presi 
dent of the Gillette Safety Razor Com: 
pany, and if this is a trend he'd like to 
know about it. 

There are others, of course, in addi- 
tion to barbers, cultists and manufac 
turers of razors, blades and shaving 
cream, to whom such a trend would be 
of vital concern. Advertising agencies, 
whose staffs usually include a Vice- 


President-in-Charge-of -Studying “Trends, 
would deem it a matter of serious pro- 
fessional importance 

Burl Ives’ agreement to endorse a 
popular brand of cigarettes was can 
celed when the photograph which he 
submitted for use in the testimonial 
display showed the minstrel wearing a 
beard. “A beaver!” the lament of 
the account executive. “Sorry, but we 
can't use а bearded man in a testi 
monial for a cigarette. A man with a 
beard always looks as if he'd really pre- 
fer a pipe.” 

When Sir Ralph Richardson co-starred 
in the movie version of The Heiress, he 
played the role wearing a full-grown 
beard. The advertisements, however, 
showed him clean-shaven. Paramount 
Pictures’ advertising executives decided 
that whenever moviegoers see a bearded 
actor in a film advertisement, they 
assume its a period picture and avoid 


the box office like the plague. 

Hollywood's advertising experts лес 
ize only two exceptions to this dic- 
tum. The first applies to Biblical films. 
Movie audiences expect to sce Biblical 
figures sporting facial brush. Hence, the 
ads for Samson and Delilah showed Vic 
tor Mature wearing a beard, although 
in the movie he performed clean-shaven. 

The other exception is Monty Wool 
ley, whose white beard became an 
established. trademark both on Broad. 
way and in the movie capital. Woolley 
grew the beard long before he was cata- 
pulted into fame playing the title role 
in Kaufman and Hart's The Man Who 
Сате to Dinner. From the day he de- 
rmined to forego shaving, he urged 
his friends to enlist with him on a cru- 
sade: “It's our way of defying women, 
by raising something which they cannot 
do, outside of a circus.’ 

Lloyd's of London insured Mr. Wool- 


25 


PLAYBOY 


ley's beard against destruction by “fire, 
theft, hail or tornado," for 55000. Both 
the appraised value and the unique 
character of Woolley's whiskers were 
diminished, in a measure, at a party he 
gave at the Ritz-Carlton in honor of his 
friend, college classmate and sponsor. 
Cole Porter. The songwriter came to 
the party escorting a lady who wore a 
long, gray and real beard 一 an exact 
duplicate of Monty's. 

Woolley's name continuously showed 

р om the guest list for the annual 
Christmas party given by Hermann 
Oelrichs for the leading citizens of New 
York and Newport. Some of the guests 
insisted that Mr. Oclrichs was so pre 
occupied with party details that he 
never really noticed the people who 
came to his soirees, The actor decided 
to test this assertion: shortly before he 
was due at Mr. Oelrichs home, Wool- 
ley gilded his beard. Then he went to 
the party, greeted his host and received 
a perfunctory reply. 

Monty engaged Oelrichs іп conversa- 
tion, and almost stabbed the party-giver 
with his beard, but Осігісһ seemed 
aware of it and merely asked, “Drink? 
Woolley demanded, snappily, a Scotch 
highball, then shouted, "Hermann, 
don't you notice anything different 
about me?” 

"Yes. You've gilded your beard,” said 
Oelrichs, calmly pouring the Scotch. 
“Do you take soda or plain water?” 

It was in the Champagne Room of El 
Morocco that a patron who was in 
wigued by the actors whiskers asked 
him, “Mr. Woolley, what are you doing 
wearing that beard?” Monty, who had 
leading roles in three movies to his 
credit, тері What am I doing wear 
ing this beard, you ask? Making con 
siderably more money than you are, my 
good man — that's what I'm doing wear- 
ing this beard." 

The trend, if any, toward beards also 
was of professional concern to Judge 
Ferdinand Pecora. In a lecture to law 
students on practical hints in practic 
ing law, Judge Pecora advised them: 
“Never, but never, accept a bearded 
man as a juror.” "The budding Black 
stones paid careful heed to the former 
Assistant District Attorney and Justice 
of the Supreme Court of the State of 
New York, who won national fame 
as counsel to a Senate subcommittee 
which exposed and effected reforms in 
the banking practices of Wall Street. 
"A man with а beard," Pecora told 
the individualist — and that's 
it when you're tying 
to get unanimity from 12 men." 

One rapt listener asked И this 
admonition would include mustache- 
wearers. No, said the veteran court 
practitioner, a mustache is not neces 
Пу an expression of individuality, 

(continued on page 62) 


an undesirable trà 


OFF WITH THEIR BEARDS 


By Commander Edward Whitehead 


As you monr have noticed by looking around you, beards 
are making а comeback, enjoying a modest but noticeable 
ssance. This leaves me unmoved, as I do not advocate 
indiscriminate beard-growing. 

Гат an enthusiastic advocate of independence of mind, of 
individual initiative, of the wisdom of taking a line of one's 
own. I have noticed that successful men, in all walks of life, 
tend to possess not only strong character, but a high degree of 
individuality. Few, if any. are colorless conformists. 1 applaud 
the man who acts independently, questions the majority view, 
maintains his critical faculty, makes decisions, based on his own 
findings, and follows through. ‘This independence of mind can 
be made manifest in many ways — in growing а beard, for in- 
stance, There are many reasons to support such action, but it 
so happens that 1 am against the idea for Tom, Dick and Harry. 

Mitch Miller told me, when a few of us, all bearded, were 
gathered together to discuss the subject on his radio program, 
that he had grown his beard when he had played the oboe in 
an orchestra. His friends ridiculed his efforts to express himself 
in this way and he would have shaved it off but for his wife, 
who said, "You are a very good oboe player; you should keep 

This provided me with a firstclass illustration in my argu. 
ment against indiscriminate beard-growing. A man must 
at least begun to assert himself, to prove his metal, before he 
lays down the gauntlet quite so obtrusively. Perhaps I should 
give you a little personal background. 

1 сап now put up arguments for whiskers that I didn't dream 
existed when, in September 1939, I heard that war was declared 
Е not to shave again 
until victory was ours, My beard kept the cold out in northern 
latitudes, and the mosquitoes and prickly heat at bay in the 
South Pacific. 

1 retained my beard when I eventually left the service, be- 
cause I'd become auached to it—or it to me. My wife, who 
liked it, and my children, who grew up swinging on it, 
wouldn't hear of my shaving it off, and I, not caring much 
what other people thought, hung on to it. 

During the postwar years in England beards were not espe 
Пу common, but no one saw fit to questi right to 
retain mine. It was not, so to speak, a conversation piece; and. 
in all truth, it was not until I ed New York, in Jan- 
шағу 1953, that my whiskers can be said to have come into their 
own. During my first few weeks in New York 1 was istaken. 
variously, for Thor Heyerdahl, the Deity and others well 
known for such hirsute adornments. But, once 1 had been 
persuaded to participate іп my own Schweppes advertising, 
there was no occasion for mistaken identity. 

Finding myself cast in the role of judge at various beard- 
growing competitions, on TV and elsewhere, 1 discovered that 
my prejudice against indiscriminate beard-growing slowly but 
surely strengthened. I am now firmly of the opinion that such 
adornment should be reserved for those men who are prepared 
to back up their challenge. The cap. so to speak. must fit- 

Nowadays, thankfully, the conformist beard is obsolete — 
though it has come perilously close to being a group badge 
of identity, rather than an individual one, among some avant 
guardists. Avaunt! 1 say in anger to these angry yor 
Only the individual, defiant beard should be permitted to 
st, the beard against the wind. 


and I threw my razor over the side, vo 


сі 


28 


THE SKINDIVER and THE LADY 


fiction By Т. К. BROWN Ш 


like the well-known fountain pen, eddie functioned 
at optimum efficiency even under water 


І. ALL STARTED when I found the girl's bathing suit on the floor of the ocean, four miles out, with 
a conch shell on it to keep it from drifting away. 

1 had gone out to French Reef for a little spear fishing, taking my boat out from Rock Harbor, 
on the Florida Keys, where I live, When 1 got to the spot I wanted 1 put on my gear — tank of air 
on my back, mask, flippers, spear gun, weight belt, mouthpiece in place —and went over the side, 
There was a swarm of bait fish there, 1 knew, and where the little ones are the big ones come for 
lunch. I'd seen the other skiff about a hundred yards , empty, and hadn't given it much 
thought: another bunch of skindivers, tourists who didn't know what to look for. 

So I swam down into that fantastic world, I've been doing it for years, but it gets me every time: 
the way you hang weightless over that dream landscape of coral, with the gaudy ittle fish scooting 
among the sea fans and the coral heads looming up from the white sand, with the canyons be- 
tween. It's like nothing else on this earth, and you know that it promises adventure. 

Especially if you find a girl's bathing suit with no girl in it, 30 feet down. 

That's what I found on this trip. I was swimming through one of the canyons and there it was 
on the sand, with the heavy shell on it; and while I was getting over my first amazement the shell 
sprouted a couple of eyes on stalks and began to move away. Whoever had put it there had picked 
a live conch for a weight, and not very long ago. The bra d fted off in one direction, the pants in 
another. I realized that this a time for gallantry. I recovered the garments and put a rock on 
them. I also realized that this was a time for sentiment: I drew a heart in the sand around the 


etl. 


PLAYBOY 


little pile to frame the charming picture. 

And then, of course, I set off to find 
the girl. 

There was no sign of her. I swam on 
down the canyon and around the huge 
coral head at the end of it. There be- 
low me, in a pocket of the reef, were 
the bait fish, tens of thousands of two- 
inch glass-fish, like a bowl of milk under 
water. When I swam into them they 
faded aside in front of me, and closed 
in behind, until E was totally cut off 
from the rest of the world. ‘This is all 
right, I said to myself, but it is no way 
to find that dish, 

But I was wrong. I was still near the 
top of the bowl of fish, and now I no- 
ticed a sort of chimney of clear water 
through them, with bubbles of air com- 
ing up it; and when I put my head over 
the edge of this chimney and looked 
down, there was my mermaid. 

Now it is perfectly obvious that a guy 
who finds an empty bathing suit under 
such circumstances is going to fill it in 
his imagination with a perfect specimen 
of the female animal. Of course, there 
is not a chance in a thousand that the 
specimen in question is perfect, or any- 
where near it; but that’s the way the 
mind works, and what are you going to 
do? So you can understand my delight 
on discovering that this girl-well, words 
fall short; you wouldn't believe me if 1 
spelled it out. She was exactly what 
fitted into that underwater dream land- 
scape. Lying on the sand, reaching up 
into the fishes to see them dodge away, 
she was laughing, despite her mouth- 
piece; and there just wasn't anything 
wrong with the shape of her. 

J hung there awhile, peeking over the 
chininey and wondering what to do. 1 
thought of taking off one of my weights 
and dropping it down the chimney onto 
her tummy, by way of a calling card, and 
then swimming down to introduce my- 
self, But there were a number of other 
choices and some of them seemed wiser. 
Т flatter myself that I chose the wisest: 
I quietly withdrew. 1 swam back to my 
boat and took off. The place to meet 
this girl, I figured, was ashore, and it 
shouldn't be too difficult to find out who 
she was. 

It wasn't. There are only a few places 
in this part of the Keys where you can 
rent equipment or get air for diving 
tanks, and I knew she would have to 
patronize one of them. So the next 
morning I drove into Charlie's place, on 
Key Largo, and asked casually whether 
he was doing much business. 

“Hell,” he said, “1 haven't cranked up 
the compressor in two weeks. No rent- 
als, either. ‘Those jokers in Miami are 
siphoning off all the tradi 

“No skindivers around?” I asked. 

“Believe me, not a one,” he said. “Not 
one. You can take my word for it. 

“1 believe you, Charlie," I said, and 


took off down the road to Ralph's place. 
Now this guy Ralph is а "Conch"—a 
born-and-bred native of the Keys—which 
means that he is just naturally an ornery 
character. In addition, he fancies him- 
self as God's gift to womankind, simply 
because he happens to have a profile of 
such classic perfection that he makes 
John Barrymore look like Jimmy Du- 
rante, He is so proud of this profile 
that if you are to the north of him, he 
faces east so you'll be sure to sce it 
and admire it. In short, a disgustingly 
vain individual. Also, he is not exactly 
addicted to doing favors for people. 1 
knew I'd have to sneak up on him, so 
to speak, so I was very subtle іп my 
approach. 

“Hi, Schnozzola," I said. “Beautiful 
day, isn't it? Sold any air lately?” 

“What do you care?” he asked. (Sce 
what 1 mean?) 

“Oh, I'm doing some important ге- 
search,” I said. “For the Chamber of 
Commerce.” 

“In other words,” he said, “you are 
trying to track down that gorgeous piece 
who filled a couple of bottles here yes- 


terday." 
"Oh, is there a gorgeous piece 
around?” [ asked. “I didn't know that. 


Now, the Chamber of Commerce——" 

"Can it," Ralph said; and suddenly 
he got quite pugnacious. "Listen, bus- 
ter, I don’t want you in here raiding 
my preserve. I have that quail all staked 
out for myself. In a couple more days 
1 got that dish on my table. So don't 
go sticking your head in where some- 
body is likely to take a poke at it.” 

“You live in a dreamworld, Apollo,” 
I said, getting a bit angry. "You take а 
poke at me and ГИ change that nose 
of yours from Greek to Roman.” 

“These juveniles!” Ralph hollered. 
“No breeding, no good sense! Just stay 
out of my way, First Little Pig, or ГИ 
blow your house down.” 

Imagine—that gigolo trying to intimi- 
date me! 

I still didn’t know where she was 
staying, but I remembered she had a 
boat from the Ship-n"Shore Motel. И 
she was holed up there that was a big 
break for me, because the Ship-n'-Shore 
is the only big motel in this area, with 
а restaurant and bar—in other words, 
a place where you can informally move 
in on people. So that evening I dropped 
in there for a drink, and the very first 
thing I saw in the cocktail lounge was 
my mermaid—it was as casy as that; and 
the next thing I saw was that the guy 
at the table with her was Ralph. 1 
bought a drink at the bar, and cast a 
look or two in the girl's direction. Out 
of the water, with that mane of auburn 
hair lying on her shoulders and without 
a mask over her face, she was even more 
beautiful than before. 

"I know what you're thinking,” my 


friend Joe, the bartender, said. “But 
watch your step, boy. Her name is 
Flame Dawson, and Ralph is keeping a 
very sharp cye on her. What a cookie! 
But watch out for that Conch—they play 
rough and dirty.” 

“Well, 1 guess I can handle old 
Ralph,” I said, and strolled over to their 
table with my drink. Now, 1 don't want 
to boast, but I am a big, husky boy, all 
covered with rippling muscles, and 1 
radiate lusty animal spirits. 1 have по 
ticed that girly usually take a long look 
at me and sort of gulp for air, and then 
start shivering, Sure enough, that's what 
happened this time. Needless to s 
Ralph saw it, and he jumped up from 
the table as if someone had put a fire- 
cracker under him. 

"Excuse me, Miss Dawson," I said— 
suave, you know—"for breaking in on 
you this My name's Ed. I noticed 
you were sitting here with my friend 
Ralph, and I thought maybe you were 
one of our select fraternity of skin- 
divers.” 

Thats right,” Ralph said. “She 
dives. And she is in very good hands. 
Now move on, creep, before you get to 
be a nuisance.” 

“Well, that's very interesting,” I said, 
easing myself into the other chair at 
the table. Ralph was furious, but all 
he could do was to sit down too, “Mat- 
ter of fact, I thought maybe 1 could give 
you a few pointers on the rcef—likely 
spots, and so on." 

"How awfully kind of you,” Flame 
said, still sort of gasping for breath. 
Yes, I do need someone to show me 一 
"And she has just the person she 
needs,” Ralph put in. "She has me. She 
is quite well provided for." 

“She sure is!” 1 exclaimed, forgetting 
myself, "Then, turning to her: "It is 
fascinating out there, isn't it?” 

“Oh, indeed it is!" Flame said. “Why 
yesterday——" 

“ГИ bet you found the swarm of little 
fishies,” I suggested. 

“Why, yes!” she said. “And the amaz- 
ing thing is, they let you right in among 
the 


scinating, isn't it?” I said. "And 
those big queen conchs out there—one 
minute they look like a shell, and the 
next minute they look just like any 
old piece of coral rock. Isn't that as- 
tonishing?” 

Flame g; me a big long double-take. 
“Oh, sweet day a-dawning!" she whis- 
pered. 

“I guess we'd better be moving along, 
Flame,” Ralph said, and signaled to Joe. 

“Yes,” she said slowly, fixing those big 
gray eyes on me. “Its amazing. And 
they make such curious tracks in the 
sand, don’t they? Oh, mercy me!” 

“Yup.” I said. 

She stood up and held out her hand. 
(continued on page 34) 


jacket art hath pulchritude 
to soothe the savage breast 


MUSIC 
TO MAKE 
Y 
ИШК 


DURING THE LasT half decade, LP 
manufacturers did a lot to pep up the 
product — outside as well as in. They 
called on top-notch artists and design- 
ers to turn out genuinely jazzy jacket 
art (we reproduced a batch of the 
better efforts in May 1956) that helped 
sales to soar. They also turned to a 
discovery made by the paperback 
publishers before them: that a season- 
ing of sex on covers could jack up the 
sales curve still higher. 

Playing a fast game of oneup- 
womanship, cagey record manufac- 
turers quickly outstripped the paper- 
back boys at their own game — so 
much so that today's well-stocked rec 
ord dealer disarmingly displays more 
nudes than the Louvre. As a matte 
of piquant fact, several of PLAvBov's 
Playmates of the past have put in re- 

ppearances as LP lovelies (June 

awn Richard, Alice Denham, 

Jayne Mansfield), with wide-open 
arms and blouses to match. 

Like a lot of paperback art, sexy LP 
ts often bear little relations 
to what's going on inside. Thus, to 
illustrate the Mendelssohn Concerto 
for Two Pianos and Orchestra in A 
Flat Major, two filmy-gowned fillies 
are perched atop two pianos. On 
another LP, Debussys drowsy little 


A VAN 


UN 


еріні 
AND 

CYNTHIA 
SONG 


pictorial 


ERNEST ANSERMET 
© conducting 
LORCHESTRE 
DE LA 
SUISSE ROMANDE 


PLAYBOY 


Reflets dans l'Eau carries a fetching 
photo of а frolicsome femme — sans 
souci, sans panties. Firmly eschewing 
any hint of false pretense, another 
record. manufacturer chooses to come 
suaight to the point: he pictures a bare 
bottomed blonde lolling in a hammock 
beneath a no-nonsense /m in the Nude 
for Love. Inside, the songs are sweet and 
syrupy. A Steve Allen disc, Tonight 
at Midnight, shows off Steve's sugary 

no and orchestra, plus a sugary bru 


NIGHT 


Vinnie Burke's 


STRING JAZZ QUARTET 


blue moonbeams. 
уе packaging such as this is 
employed not simply by the small inde- 
pendent labels, as you might expect 
Such solid and conservative giants аз 
itol, London and КСА Victor ha 
ased а covey of LPs featuring pen- 
sive and/or perky pretties 一 in mostly 
birthday duds. Bona fide music lovers 
everywhere seem to love them 


> Charley 


Drew 


Won бск киз саки оххх ыас 


PLAYBOY 


34 


SKINDIVER 


“I appreciate your interest, Ed," she 
“Somehow I feel that you know 
me much better than I know you.” 

“It’s just that I know the reef bet- 
ter," I said modestly as I took her hand. 
Her middle finger was curled under. 

“We really do gotta go.” Ralph said 
angrily, and went to the bar to pay up. 

“Tomorrow?” she asked in a whisper. 

“About two,” 1 whispered back. 

Ralph returned and took her posses- 
sively by the arm. “Scram, bum,” he 
hissed at me. “Are you looking to get 
hurt?” 

"Well, that’s life," Joe said, when I 
got back to the bar. “Like I told you, 
he has that girl under lock and key. 
And listen, Eddie boy, take the word of 
an old pro and go back to your butter- 
fly collection. You haven't got a chance.” 

1 was out on the reef the next day 
long before two. I couldn't wait until 
two and I was hoping she couldn't 
either. But she could. It was a quarter 
past when her boat passed the light and 
came within hailing distance. I stood 
up and waved. Instead of coming on 
she circled around and then cut the 
motor, a good 300 yards away. She stood 
up and made a pointing motion down 
toward the water. I'm pretty fast on the 
old LQ. so ! understood right away 
what she meant. This was going to be 
a strictly submarine romance. I gave her 
another wave of the arm and dropped 
over the side. 

My boat was anchored right where the 
bait fish had been before; but this day 
they weren't there-they move around 
from place to place. This part of the 
reef is like parallel descending streets 
of sand with high clifis on either side 
and with deep pockets penetrating the 
cliffs at their base, The sand floor was 
about 40 feet down, and I couldn't see 
any point to getting into one of those 
caves: after all, nobody else was around. 
1 went down to the bottom and waited, 
in that incredible scenery; and while I 
was waiting, of course, I sort of pre- 
pared myself for what was coming. I 
figured that Flame would see my bubbles 
coming up, and would find me there in 
the canyon. 

Which is exactly what happened. The 
little reef fish were swimming back and 
forth, and once or twice a stupid blue 
angel, about the size of a serving plat- 
ter, would nose up to me. Then I heard 
Flame's motor, and a few minutes later 
they all scooted off. I looked up. Flame 
coming down toward me, beautiful 
aked, her hair flowing behind her: a 
dream coming true. She put her arms 
around my neck, and I put my arms 
around her; and there we were, with 
the rest of mankind as far away as it 
could Бе, in an altogether different di- 


(continued from page 30) 


mension, in a different world. 

The mermaid, as you know, is one of 
the most ancient fantasies in human 
lore. Mermaids have sat on rocks, slith- 
ered into the water, combed their hair, 
seduced sailors, sung sweet songs, broken 
up marriages and driven men insane 
since time immemorial. They аге elu- 
sive, tantalizing, and unutterably de- 
sirable creatures. ‘here is only one 
thing wrong with them, and you know 
what it is as well as I do. And therefore 
you also know how gratifying it would 
be to find yourself on the most congenial 
terms with a mermaid who did not have 
this ching wrong with her. 
ince I, for the first time in history, 
have crashed through the mermaid bar- 
rier, so to speak, I think the least I can 
do is to give you who will follow a few 
pointers on the manipulation of present- 
day mermaids: 

1) To whatever your normal weight 
belt carries, add about five pounds. 
Breathing is greatly accelerated and the 
tendency is to rise, so that you either 
scrape against the rock above you, if you 
are in a cave, or, worse, bob to the sur- 
face, where random fishermen wonder 
what the hell is going on. 

2) Never seck a mermaid with less 

than 70 cubic feet of air. With a really 
spirited mermaid like Flame, even this 
prove insufficient. 
3) Avoid areas infested with fire coral, 
s, and stinging jellyfish. You 
may not notice the contact at the time, 
but you will become painfully aware of 
it later. 

4) из more fun with your flippers 
оп. 

But I don’t want to sound cold- 
blooded about this event. It was a ten- 
der, beautiful, and even solemn orca- 
sion. Each of us knew we were making 
history. Clinging to each other, thrash- 
ing up the sand, bumping into the sharp 
coral, we were in that wonderful rap- 
port that the “married love” books talk 
about—so much so, in fact, so perfectly 
attuned to each other, that we ran out 
of air together! What a perfect climax! 

We hastened to the surface, of course, 
and dangled from my boat-hers was 
about 20 feet away. 

“Don't talk," Flame whispered. "Don't 
say a thing. Just let me remember it 
for a whil 

So we hung there for a few moments 
and remembered. Then she put her 
hand on my shoulder. “Ed. you may 
think this is funny, but the only time 
we're going to see cach other is down 
there in that с à 

“You mean we're not pals except un- 
der water?” I asked, “But I want to 
talk to you." 

“Darling.” she said, "don't you see 
bow much better it is if you don't have 


to talk—if you can't talk? Then it's 
nothing but the real thing. So you be 
a good boy and don't come messing 
around, and ГИ see you here tomorr 
same time.” 

1 thought about this for a minute. 
“Mermaid complex,” 1 said finally, “You 
have a mermaid complex. I suppose if 
you see me ashore you'll cut me dead? 

“Tm afraid so, darling." she said. 

“And Ralph?” I asked, “You'll cut 
him dead, too? 

“Oh, Ralph,” she said, and her tone 
of voice told me all 1 wanted to know 
about how she felt toward him. 

"OK," I said at last, seeing no other 
way out of it, but determined to find 
one sooner or later. “You win. We'll 
keep it aquatic. Tomorrow, then.” And 
we kissed on 

1 let her make her getaway, and then 
I motored back to the dock where I 
keep my boat. And who was waiting for 
me but old classic profile Ralph. Не was 
mad, and he got right to the point. 
“Listen, junior, I warnt you to stay out 
of my cabbage patch. What were you di 
ing out there on the reef with that gal 
"Wasn't that a coincidence?" 1 sai 
ust happened to run into he 
“Yeah,” Ralph said. “Well, I'm warn- 
ing you for the last time. If I see you 
out there with her again, you're going 
to find yourself in a mess of trouble. 
Um closing in, and I don't want to be 
stumbling over no juvenile delinquent.” 
And with this he stomped off. 

“Adios, old Idle-Threat,” 
after him. 

But I have to admit I underestimated 
Ralph: he showed more initiative than 
I had given him credit for. I met Flame 
on the reef the next day, of course, and 
we renewed our friendship. І believe 
Ralph must have followed me out and 
got a peek at the party while my atten- 
tion was elsewhere. Because the day after 
that, when I met Flame on the reef— 
she in her skif, I in mine—there w: 
Ralph ahead of us, innocently fishing. 

“Well, hello!” he called out, when we 
threw out our anchors close together, 
about 60 yards from him. “Fancy meet- 
ing you way out here!” 

Flame gave me a questioning look and 

I said to her in a low voice, "Get your 
gear quick and wait at the anchor, I 
know a place he'll never find us." 
Ralph was pulling up his 
anchor and preparing to join us. "I was 
hoping somebody would come along so 
I could do a little diving,” he said, try- 
ing w get his motor started. “Buddy 
system, you know. Never dive without 
buddy.” 
Flame dropped over the side of her 
skiff and went down the anchor rope. 
Ralph's motor fired and he raced over 
to our boats. 

“This time you sit it out up here, 

(continued on page 42) 


I called 


languorous is the word for linné 


FIRST TIME WE saw the girl, she was 
stretched out on a half-deserted beach, 
becomingly bikinied, a big hat over her 
eyes. We nudged her gently with a 
sandy toe and pointed out that the sun 
had gone down and a wind was coming 
in off the water and could we give her a 
lift someplace? In disarming confusion, 
she murmured her thanks, gathered to- 
gether sunglasses, lotion, sandals, book 
and terry beach blanket, and stood up. 
She was shorter (5° 2”) than she looked 
lying down. “І fell asleep,” she said. 

In the conyertible, purring down the 
freeway, we asked her name. “Linné 
Nanette Ahlstrand," she said, and im- 
mediately following that lengthy dis- 
course, she yawned. 

A few days later, we called on Linné 
to spring the Playmate question. She 
(slowly) that she'd think about it. 
While she was thinking, we whipped out 
notebook and pencil and asked her, 


LAZIEST GIRL IN TOWN 


as we ask all potential Playmates, a few 
questions regarding her likes and dis- 
likes. She liked to sit down to a big meal 
of succulent seafood, she said; she liked 
to sit in jazz dens, digging the sounds, 
and in concert halls, digging those 
sounds; she liked to settle down to an 
evening of excellent theatre or a good 
foreign film; she liked to play chess. As 
we already knew, she also liked to loll 
on a sandy surf, taking the sun. What 
about dancing? we asked. No, she wasn't 
awfully fond of that. Tennis? Hiking? 
Not a pi We began to get the pic 
ture: Linné just didn't want to do апу- 
thing that involved standing up. We 
softly suggested she was a wee bit lazy, 
be? She admitted it. Having settled 
, we returned to our original ques- 
tion: how about being Miss July? Yes, 
she said, she'd like to. Very much, іп 
fact. But on one condition. 
IE she could pose lying down. 


Putting pawns through their paces on a chess 
board provides lovely, lazy Linné with just 
about the only form of exercise she can stand. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY FRANK BEZ 


这 这 ALVES VAL СҮ) қ ДУ 
PR ECC PE 
ЧО" МЖ M. NE 

ООО 


PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES 


Over gibsons, two animated gentlemen 
were having a rousing battle about the 
charms of Kim Novak. 

“I say she's overrated,” said one. 
“Take away her eyes, her hair, her lips 
and her figure and what have you got?” 

“My wife,” said the other with a heavy 
sigh. 


The new bank employee in the finance 
department was dictating to his comely 
secretary. He paused, uncertain about 
the proper use of a word in his next 
sentence. 

“Do you “retire a loan'?" he asked the 
girl. 

“Not when I can help it,” she replied 
with a demure smile. 


A twist on a wellknown safety poster 
goes like this: IF YOU DRINK—DON'T PARK. 
ACCIDENTS CAUSE PEOPLE. 


Word is in from the Middle East about 
the sultan who left a call for seven in 
the morning. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines alco- 
holic as a guy you don't like who drinks 
as much as you do. 


A curvilinear young secretary, just те- 
turned from a magnificent vacation in a 
South American republic, walked into 
the foreign exchange section of her New 
York bank and dropped a wad of foreign 
currency on the counter. The teller 
counted it carefully and gave her 53¢ in 
exchange. 

“Do you mean to tell me that's all 1 


“ gasped the lovely thing. 

тп afraid so, miss,” said the teller. 

“That's the legal exchange rate.” 
“Damn,” the girl hissed. “And like a 

fool 1 gave him breakfast too.” 


ЕЕ you must get married, it is always 
advisable to marry a ravishing beauty. 
Otherwise, you'll never find anybody to 
take her off your hands. 


As the cop helped the bruised and bat- 
tered bibber up from the pavement in 
front of the bar, he asked, “Can you 
describe the man who hit you?” 

“Oh, yes,” said the drunk. “That's just 
what I was doing when he hit me.” 


We really don't believe the nasty rumor 
floating around that Vikki Dougan's 
fame is spreading. 


A much-married Hollywood leading man 
was confronted by a pretty brunette at 
the premiere of his latest picture. 

"Don't you remember me?" she en- 
thused. “Three years ago you asked me 
to marry you.” 

“Oh, really?” said the blasé actor. 
“And did you?" 


A gallivanting friend of ours has con- 
fided to us that women don't really look 
for too much in a husband; just someone 
to spend with the rest of their lives. 


The coed cutie returned to the sorority 
house after her first breakfast date at a 
neighboring fraternity with her steady 
boyfriend. Asked what she had, she re- 
plied dreamily, “Him and eggs.” 


Heard any good ones lately? Send your 
favorites to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
232 E. Ohio SL, Chicago 11, Ill, and 
earn an easy five dollars for each joke 
used. In case of duplicates, payment goes 
to first received. Jokes cannot be returned. 


“Well, you know how late we got in last night. How was I 
to know it was anything other than a tourist lodge?” 


PLAYBOY 


42 


SKINDIVER 


twerp,” he said, with an ugly leer. “This 
time a man is going to show the lady 
а few tricks." 

At first 1 thought he had gone crazy. 
But no — this was just Ralph, God's gift 
to women. He had no doubt at all that 
he was the one Flame really wanted. 
ph,” I said, tying on my weight 
you just haven't got good sense.” 
frantically putting on his 
You go in that water, boy,” 

and you won't come out 


belt, 

Ralph 
gear too, 
he snarled, 
of it.” 

"Oh, drop dead.” I said, and went 
over the side. Ralph's face turned pur- 
ple. He grabbed up an oar from his 
boat and took a swing at me. И Га 
been a foot closer ГА have been done 
for. But just at that moment I wasn't 
interested in getting into а fight. 1 
went down quickly and joined Flame. 
Through her mask 1 could sce her ey 
wide with anxiety. 1 beckoned her to 
follow, and we swam down the canyon 
between the high cliffs. close to the bot- 
tom. to a place I knew where we could 
squeeze through a passage under the cliff 
to the canyon adjoining. I knew that 
our bubbles, as they broke the surface, 
would mark our position; but I also 
knew that Ralph, when he got into the 
water, would lose this bearing. And 1 
also knew 一 or so I thought—a place 
where no bubbles could possibly betray 
us. 

I took Flame down the second canyon 
about 20 yards, and again we wiggled 
our way under the coral rock and into 
the parallel formation. We were deeper 
than we'd been before — about 60 fect — 
but now we were close to the place 1 
had in mind. After a few seconds I could 
turn to Flame and point it out to her: an 
opening. larger than the others, in the 
that towered above us. We swam in. 
After about 10 feet we had to make a 
sharp turn to the left, and there we were 
in my secret grotto — faintly lighted from 
the passage we had come through and 
from the passage that led out the other 
side; high-vaulted, completely private, 
with its own population of improbable 
little fish, some of which swam upside 
down along the top of the cave. I showed 
Flame how our bubbles rose to the roof, 
where they formed a silver ceiling. and 
she got the idea right away: we were 
absolutely safe from detection. 

What I did not know then — but know 
now — is that the air was not staying in 
the cave. It was percolating slowly up- 
ward through the porous rock and was 
coming out over a wide area as a fine 
cloud of little. bubbles, advertising our 
presence to anyone who wanted to find 
it out. And of course Ralph, full of rage, 
was doing his best to find it out. 

But. as I said, I didn't know this at 
the time. And the scene and setting were 


5 


(continued from page 34) 


simply too perfect for us even to think 
about Ralph. What we experienced in 
that hidden underwater cavern, fes 
tooned with coral, decorated with spec 
tacular fish, was the greatest ever. It left 
us shuddering. 

And then I started shuddering for 
another reason. Flame had her eyes 
closed and didn't see him, but I did: 
Ralph, who had discovered our where- 
abouts. He had his spear gun with him, 
and at first 1 had no doubt that he 
intended to use it on me. Then I saw 
that he had already shot it, and that 
he had on the end of his spear the 
biggest green moray се! I ever hope to 
get close to. 

Now, the moray есі is 
creature until you molest 
stick а spear in him һе feels that he has 
been molested, and then he gocs crazy. 
He bites anything and everything: the 
spear, the empty water, himself; he will 
make great efforts to writhe up the spear 
and bite the person on the other end 
of it. It takes a good deal of nerve to 
spear a moray, and even more nerve to 
drag him through the water; and 1 guess 
1 have to give Ralph credit for the cour- 
age it took to try what he intended, 
namely. to feed me to that есі. When 
Flame saw him she scooted out the other 
passage, embarrassed at being caught so 
déshabillé, but with the presence of 
mind to take her suit with her. Ralph 
came toward me with the cel and 1 
backed away — what else could I do? I 
got out of the cave and made for the 
surface. When I got there I saw Flame 
just climbing into her boat, and a pretty 
sight it was. I waved to her violently to 
take off and be gone; this promised to 
be something that might get into the 
newspapers and her involvement would 
only complicate matters. She got the 
idea: she had the anchor up and was 
headed for shore in a jiffy. 

When 1 stuck my head under the 
water again 1 found Ralph between me 
and my boat. still brandishing the ecl. 
He was wearing one of those Pinocchio 
masks. in which the glass covers the eyes 
only and the nose protrudes in its pli- 
able rubber casing; and it crossed my 
mind that he had brought his profile 
fixation right into and under the water 
with him. However, there wasn't much 
time for such pleasant concei hat 
goon was obviously going to keep me 
trom re ig my boat without getting 
bitten. I dived down again and tried to 
get around him. He hung to my anchor 
rope, a few fect below the surface, wait- 
ing for my air to run out, while the 
moray writhed and gnashed its many 
teeth at the end of the spear. 

The only weapon I could think of was 
the anchor. Е went to the bottom and 
disengaged it: then, holding it in front 


of me. 1 swam back up the rope. In the 
midst of my realization of how futile a 
defense it was. my air gave out and 1 
had no choice but to go оп up. Ralph 
was howling with triumph into his 
mouthpiece as he held the spear down 
toward me. He had about four feet more 
reach than I had; he was on top: and I 
was out of air. It would take a small 
miracle to get me out of this in one 
piece. 

That this m le took place I aurib- 
ute, in all modesty, to my blameless 
mode of life, my charitable spirit and my 
avoidance of all impure thoughts. 

I struck out at the ecl with the anchor 
and it caught him just right. The spea 
head slid the rest of the y through 
him and came out the other side. The 
enraged creature was pushed up the 


shank of the spear until it into 
Ralph’s hand. Ralph let out a yell and 
dropped the spear—but not soon 


enough: the moray lunged around and 
removed some important meat from him 
in one magnificent snap. I was out of 
range by then. While the gun, spear and 
есі sank slowly to the bottom, Ralph 
and I reached the surface and grabbed 
the gunwale of ıny boat, which had 
drifted a hundred yards or so from his. 

“Your boat's over there, you murder- 
ous bastard.” I said, with notable self- 
control. “You're not getting into mine.” 

Ralph held his hand to his wound. 
from which blood was pouring forth. 
The barracudas were already gathering 
round, clacking their incisors, and Ralph 
was hysterical. 

“My God!" he hollered. “I'm bleeding 
to death! They'll eat me alive!" He tried 
to heave himself into the skill. I punched 
him in Ше side of the head. 

"Down, lover-boy,” I said. "Your boat's 
over there. You might be able to make 
it.” 

That big grown-up man busted right 
out crving. "Eddie boy.” he blubbered, 
“pal, old buddy. you wouldn't send me 
out there to get et by them 'cudas. Save 
me, friend, save me!” 

Well, Т took pity on the poor bugger 
and let him get in the boat with me, 
Then I remembered what he had tried 
to do to me and got mad all over again. 

"Listen, Adonis,” I said, “E w; the 
ht answers to a couple of questions. 
First of all, whose girl is Flame?" 
“Yours,” he mumbled. 
“And who is not going to m 
ice of himself any mor 
“Me,” he said. 

“And you're sure you don't want to 
get into your own boat? 

“Yes, yes, for God's sake!” he cried. 
“That's the leastest thing I want. Eddie, 
pal, Ги losing blood fast. Let's get back 
to shore, ОК. 
1 said. “But, since you dont 
want your boat, we might as well cut it 

(concluded on page 69) 


ke a nui- 


RCH 


use 


FASHIONABLE MUTATION of the U.S. 
A nightclub scene is the small, smoky, 
sometimessubterranean oasis that par- 
lays low lights and high humor into big 
business. In the intimate atmosphere of 
Julius Monks Downstairs Room and 
the Blue Angel in Manhattan, Mister 
Kelly’s and the Black Orchid in Chicago, 
the Hungry i and the Purple Onion in 
San Francisco, ringsiders (there is often 
little room to put tables anywhere else) 
are fed the special, inside humor for 


highbrows doled out by thé likes of Mort 
Sahl, Irwin Corey, Elaine May and 
Mike Nichols. 

A bright new wit at such watcring 
holes is Shelley Berman, а fey-laced 
ex-gagwriter, ex-dramatic actor turned 
monologist whose prop-in-trade is usually 
the telephone. Shelley's bits of mor 
business consist of harried, one-w: 
conversations ("I want to speak with 
Phyllis Johnson . . . PH-Y-LL...no 

Р as in pluvial . . . по... pluvial 


...P as in polemic . , . О as in ortho 
chromatic . . - no - .”). 

Imagine that you are seated in your 
favorite little club right now as Shellcy 
Berman presents a caricature of a late- 
rising reveler bedeviled by an cnormous 
hangover and no recollection of what 
occurred at the party he attended the 
night before. He pampers his head, then 
dials his host; the humor builds, bit by 
bit, as Shelley pieces together the events 
of the previous r-u. 


==" BERMAN ON THE 


1. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. My 
tongue is asleep. And ту teeth 
itch. Where is my Alko Seltzer? 


2. Oh, my God, don't fizz! Don't 
be mean, Alka Seltzer. Dissolve! 
Oh, the hell with it, ГИ drink the 
pieces. 


3. Hello, Dave Boy. Howya daing there, 


David bay? . . . Dave, would you please 
whisper. Номус doing, kid? . . . This is 
me....It'sme.... It's your old buddy. 
++ + It's me, ils old—uh—it's, it's... 
Just a minute, Dave, don’t press те. 
++. Dove, if you пар а! те ГИ never 
get it. Isn't that ridiculous! I just got а 
letter addressed to me this morning. 
1 know my own name os well аз | know 
my own—uh ... 


What? Well, how many Sams do yau know? 
^... Uh. Spira! It's old Sammy Spiral... 


5. How уси doing there Dave, how you 
feeling, fella? . . . Good, I'm glad to hear 
that... . Nat sa hot, Dave, I'm a little 
under the weather fram last night's party. 
That's what 1 called you up ta thank you 
for—that wonderful party you threw last 
night. ... Of course we brought aur own 
liquor, but you provided the electricity and 
you should be thanked for that. . . . Tell me 
Dove, did I have а good timet... No, | 
don't know, Dave... . Well, from а cer- 
ісіп point in the evening ту mind is а com- 
plete blank. . . . A few minutes after | ar- 
rived. - .. What did 1 dof . . . What? .. . 
Oh, по... Oh, gee, I'm sorry, Dave. 
«+. The whole window, eh? . . . Just come 
right out, eh? .... Gee, it’s a lucky thing 
there was nobody walking under it at the 
time, eh? . . . Осоооооһ. . . . Got him 
edgewise, eh? Oh, well, they'll put him 
back together, Dave, those plastic surgeons 
are wonderful. 


6. Gee, Dave, 1 can't imagine 
how | managed fo break а 
window. I don't have any cuts 
or bruises оп my hands... . 1 
see. Were you very fond of 
that cat? . . . Gee, those things 
are supposed fo land on their 
feel, aren't they, Dove? ... 
Poor little fella, how di 
manage to do that? 
yeah, yeah, | gel th 
1 must have been playing same 
sort of stupid parlor game 
there or something. ... What 
was | doing? . . .1 see, and I 
guess the window was sup- 
posed to be Goliath. Well, 
gee, Dave, you'll probably 
want a new cat, right?... 
Yech—well, sounds like he's с 
goner ай right. 


7. 1 wish you wouldn't be quite so 


descriptive about the cat, Dove. I'm 
not a well man. Dave, | wonder if 
you'd mind changing the subject to 
something a little more pleasant. Tell 
me, Dave, how did your wife enjoy 
the party? 


8.... What do you mean, Г ought 
to know? . . . I did not. . . . I did not. 
‚.. Dave, it was a long, hard party; 
does it occur to you that I jus! might 
have gotten tired and stretched aut 
for a bit in the bedroom? . . . Well, I 
must have thought she was a pile of 
дата, Dove, you know how she's 
built, No, na Dave—! didn't 
meon it like that. You know I think the 
world of Myrna—why, | love your 
wife, Dave....No, no, Dave, you 
know I didn't mean it like that. Well, 
Dave, when you come right down 
to it, the only real damage | caused 
was а broken window, right? . . . No, 
1 won't forget the cat. Dave, in the 
shape | was in it's lucky that the 
only thing 1 threw through the window 
was а cat... .Oh—really? Who? 
2.- Ob, gosh, I hope she isn't angry. 
... That's swell. She wos always с 
pretty good sport, your mother. 


| 9. Listen, Dove, the reason 


I'm calling, see I'm having 
these business associates in 
town far the weekend and 
I'd like to throw this little 
shindig and you know how 
small my place із. So I was 
wondering if 1 could use your 
place this Saturday night. 
Few drinks, couple of laughs, 
know whet I meon? 


10. Dove? Dave? ... Come 
on, boy, pull yourself together. 
. .. Dave, stop that now. | can't 
bear to hear a man сгу.... 


PLAYBOY 


46 


SIX RECORDS 


an unusual musical question. I 
foresee that some would ta іх rec 
ords" to mean six tunes, while others 
would interpret it as six LP albums, but 
that didn't matter a great deal cither, 
because it was the individual responses 
to the query that would make them 
interesting. 

I went to the Starlight Roof at the Wal- 
dorf-Astoria, where Count Basics Band 
was coming on like cool thunder, and 
broached the topic with the One O'Clock 
Jump man himself. 

"Bill," I said (only the squares address 
him as Count, and I had to make a good 
impression), “Bill, 1 know you have a 
top-floor suite in the hotel while you're 
here. Now suppose the elevator got all 
shook up and you had to choose —” 
іс as soon as ГА ex- 
ke Louis Armstrong's 
amy Dorsey's Ги Get- 
ting Sentimental Over You . . . Fats 
Waller doing Honeysuckle Rose . - . Ella 
in the number she sang in Pete Kelly's 
Blues — 

“Which 
nah! 

You got it. And h's wild How 
High the Moon, and my favorite by the 
greatest of them all — Duke Ellington's 
Warm Walley.” 

"Fine, Bill." I said, “thanks.” 

“Goodbye.” 

"Goodbye," I said, and rose 

"I don't mean goodbye," said Bill, “I 
the seventh of my six records 
y Eckstine's Goodbye. And for an 
eighth ГИ take Les Brown's I've Got My 
Love to Keep Me Warm, 


опе — Hard Hearted Han- 


“Hold it, hold it,” 1 
for the door. “Pen just ran dry, Thanks. 
hill." 

Tt way easy to corral my next victim, 


Dave oway, before his television 
show got on the NBC air at seven лм 
АП E had to do was ма Birdland onc 
night until closing time at four, then 
run right over to Dave's rehearsal at the 
RCA Exhibition Hall at 49th St. and 
Rockefeller Maza. 1 went down the in- 
side ramp to the lower level, where the 
Today staff and crew were having their 
y breakfast buffet, and joined right in. 

As befits a man who talks to millions 
every day for a living. Dave was explicit 
in his answer. He started with Bix 
Beiderbecke's I'm Coming Virginia, 
waxed in 1927--“Опе of the purest, 
most thoughtful and refreshing choruses 
in all of jazz — I've heard it hundreds of 
nd still look forward to every 
ing.” Next came. Woody Herman's 
Bijou — "the finest side,” he added, "by 
what was in its day the greatest of the 
jazz bands. The imagination of Ralph 
Burns, who wrote it. and the pagan 
sounds from Bill Harris’ trombone make 
this one a must.” 


(continued from page 43) 


His third choice, Ella Fitzgerald's Lady 
Be Good. is the disc that once saved 
Dave's carcer for him. "I had a mid- 
night show in Chicago to which the NBC 
sales department didn’t think anyone 
was listening. I got a bootlegged acetate 
of thi: le two weeks before its release 
and started to plug it regularly. Mail 
began to pour in and NBC's switchboard 
lit up like Univac with happy people 
who wanted to own the disc. It made me 
есі pretty good. Even before the record 
was released, bootleg copies had gone up 
to 10 dollars. T he record is, of course, the 
greatest thing ol its kind ever donc." 

The nostalgic mood continued а 
Dave turned to Sarah Vaughan's If You 
Could Sce Me Now: "Cut while she was 
still pretty much a nobody, it has the 
marvelous freedom and warmth and 
simplicity that her recent records have 


generally lacked.” 
Next. a tribute to the creativeness of 
pianist Barbara Carroll: “I don't know 


puts his work aside. But what a tremen- 
dous burden we put on our modern jazz 
artists! They've got to be always on, 


dynamic and vigorous enough to keep 
creating new ideas six days а week, si 
hours a Barbara does this with 


grace and precision, always fresh, never 
trite or hackneyed, and manages to keep 
her sense of humor too. I'll take her re- 
cording of You Took Advantage of Ме.” 

And finally Benny Goodman's immor- 
1938 Carnegie Hall concert album: 
The joyous verve and life poured into 
is one made it stand out from all the 
other jazz concerts. None of the mu- 
sicians ever played better in their lives 
than on th: ht. Play the studio re- 


made of those same tunes 
they sound for- 


you'll be convinced 
mal. still and stodgy compared ж 
swinging freedom of this albur 

E didn't give my phantom penthouse 
any further thought until three weeks 
and three thousand miles later, when 
the sounds of a Bach partita were being 
walted via Peggy Lee's hi-fi rig to the 
sun-drenched patio of her mountain- 
high Beverly Hills home. Friend and 
neighbor Frank Sinatra was there. Frank 
conducted Peggy's recent Capitol album, 
The Man I Love. We got to talking 
about musical settings as applied to 
personal settings: “Bach,” said Pegg 
to ше the symbol of а well-organized 
universe. I sce things, when I hear Bach, 
that are utterly beyond my comprehen- 
sion, though somehow I seem to unde 
stand. How the sky changes . . . how the 
seasons change . . . you get a feeling of 
rhythm about the whole universe. 

To the background of Bach 1 elicited 
from Peggy an alternative LP list (alter- 
native. that is, to six boxes of Bach) and 


h the 


this is how it looked: Nat Cole's Love Ts 
the Thing set, Ѕіпашаѕ Songs for 
Swingin’ Lovers, Nelson Riddles Не 
Let Yourself Go, a Jackie Gleason album 
called Ооооћ!, the original-cast album 
of My Fair Lady (“If you've seen the 
show you can never tire of this!”) and 
the Count Basic set that includes Joc МУ 
liams’ wondrous blues The Comeback. 

Having been forewarned about the 
question, Frank said: "I would like to 
hear why you decided to ask us to choose 
these record: 

1 pointed out that a round of sabo. 
age or a spate of technological break: 
downs might leave an inordinate num- 
ber of citizens stuck in penthouses. 

“Anyhow,” said Sinatra, “I've bee 

thinking about it. Now first, ГА rather 
concentrate mainly on the human voice, 
because under those conditions, with no- 
body to talk to, it would be preferable 
to instrumentals. So Fd like four al. 
bums: one each by Ella Fitzgerald. Peggy 
Lee, Nat Cole and Perry Como. 
Then Fd like to have one album 
specially made up. if possible. of the 
following: Nelson Riddle, Billy May, Les 
Brown and Les Elgart. I don't want to 
get into the jazz field, because once I 
start there'll be no stopping — РП wind 
up with 60 albums. 

"The other instrumental is thc 
Vaughan Williams Job. I pick that be- 
ause it has great му; it's a sort of 
potpourri of all kinds of music, There's 
even syncopation, and suggestions of jazz 
with an alto sax. Из a most interesting 
picce of mu 

“Of course,” Peggy added, “when it 
comes to artists who are currently per- 
forming, my selections might change, as 
they do something fresher and better. 

“Hold it a minute! N 
got a seventh album. This seventh album 
1 would like made up of Elvis Presley, 
Johnny Mathis, Johnnie Ray, Lawrence 
Welk and Sammy Kaye. 

Looked up from my note-taking. 

“TIL tell you why Га want that al- 
bum," grinned Frankie. “Га play it 
occasionally, just to remind me how 
good the other people are.” 

Back in New York a few s later, 1 
tackled an old friend whose hip indin; 
tions as musician. writer and gene 
human being had convinced me that he 
would produce a provocative and 
thoughtfully compiled list: Steve Allen. 
teve,” 1 began, "suppose you were 
all pent up in a penthouse and . . ." 

Sure cnough, Steve deliberated care- 
fully before answering. “I think Ud 
The Charlie Parker Story on Savoy," he 
said, "and 1 don't believe I need bother 
to explain the why of this one: it’s Bird 
at his greatest and that's that. 

“Then Music for Sleepwalkers by Mur- 
McEachern. This album should hav 
been a best seller. Murray has one of the 

(concluded on page 71) 


А. MOST OF Us KNOW, the fortunes of 
commerce sometimes come into conflict 
with the pursuit of a man's private 
amours and when this happens, the 
unhappy choice between the two must 
frequently be made on the basis of prac- 
tical dollars-and-cents judgment. When 
the owner of a printing concern in Ala- 
Бата — Alfred Arnoe — found a partner 
who was willing to invest in his enter- 
prise if he moved it to Philadelphia, he 
moyed forthwith, abandoning a love 
affair with a comely lingerie buyer. The 
parting was tearful, but he soon found 
northern attachments and forgot his 
southern past, 

Recently, however, his past gave him 
a rude jolt in the form of a suit by his 
former ladyfriend, charging him with 
fathering her illegitimate child. Arnoe’s 
first impulse was to pay the piper, but 


THE NOT SO 
TENDER TRAP 


when he found that she had taken up 
with other bedfellows since their part- 
ing, he decided to make a fight of it. He 
sent an investigator poking through Ala- 
bama hospital records and was able to 
prove at the subsequent paternity trial 
that the love child had been born a full 
year after Arnoe's last contact with 
his erstwhile bedmate. That, of course, 
should have been the end of it, except 
that a jury still ruled the printing exec- 
utive guilty of imprinting this new issue, 
and condemned him to pay support 
money till the child reached its majority. 
There is nothing in law, it seems, that 
says a baby can't be carried by the 
mother for as long as a year — and never 
mind all those fairy tales about storks 
bringing babies in nine months. 

What befell the printing executive is 
no once-in-a-lifetime, struck-by-lightning 


kind of happenstance. Paternity swin- 
dles have become one of the most wide- 
spread scourges ever directed against the 
American male, The number of illegiti- 
mate births in this country now reaches 
a lofty 350,000 a year. Over 100,000 suits 
charging paternity are filed annually, 
with more or less dire results for the 
male, and countless others are settled 
out of court by threats that amount to 
blackmail. Yet judging by results of 
scientific tests in New York City courts, 
at least one-third of these paternity suit 
claims are out-and-out frauds. Our 50- 
ciety is so hagridden on this question of 
paternity and so easily gulled by the 
plaints of the “poor, defenseless wom- 
an,” that we have cases of men being 
adjudged fathers when they never even 
had a sexual introduction to their ac- 

(continued on page 56) 


article By MARTIN ABRAMSON 


when the charge is bastardy, the wily woman wins 


47 


AN IMAGINATIVE GUY might feel cleanly 
cool and crisply comfortable just thin 
ing about summer suits made of those 
fabricated fabrics with the chemical-type 
names. He might also get hot under the 
collar trying to figure out which is which 
—and why one’s righter for his purposes 
than another. If this describes your situ- 
ation, feel no shame. Even women 一 
who are credited with knowing all about 
material things — usually can't tell you 
the difference between Verel and Cres- 
lan, or Jetspun and Fortisan. And if 
they could, would you listen? Of course 
not. You'd tell them to go soak their 
heads (a courteous bit of advice in hot 
weather), and you'd peruse the following 
for all you need to know. 

And what you need to know is merely 
what is meant — in terms of appearance, 
lightness, durability and comfort — when 
you read a maker's label giving the pedi- 
gree of the stuff from which a garment's 
made. A bit of background and a chart 


(coming up, next page) will do the в 

The miracle about the so-called а- 
de fibers” is that although many — or 
most — are made of organic ingredients 
and hence can't properly be called man- 
made, they are put together in ways not 
revealed to the Jower animals and plants, 
on whom man had been dependent for 
his clothing for quite a few years like 
back to prehistoric times. Wool, cotton, 
flax, silk, hemp, jute, sisal, kapok, ramie 
(a Chinese nettle more useful for cross- 
word puzzles than for clothing), all got 
in their sartorial innings—along with 
the hairs and hides of hundreds of beast- 
ies, and a few feathers to boot — long 
before DuPont. And each, in its way 
(even ramie, like we said), did its given 
job well. 

Rather recently, historically speaking, 
some inquisitive types asked themselves 
and each other why man should restrict 
himself to these naturally-produced ma- 
terials for his garb — fine though they 


were, alone and in cunning combina- 
tions. Why not do for clothing what had 
been done, ages carlier, for food? (Most 
of us prefer bread — a man-made wheat 
product—to nibbling a handful ot 
grains of wheat.) But even man's labora- 
tory technique, when he cssayed to 
improve on nature by combining organic 
stuft in his own way, was borrowed [rom 
nature. The first successful man-made 
fabric was the work of an assistant of 
Louis Pasteur, Count Hilaire de Char- 
donnet. Pasteur was working on a disease 
of silkworms; his assistant enviously 
watched the little blighters chew on mul- 
berry leaves, expectorate a juice [rom 
two spinnerets on the side of the mouth, 
and weave this juice into long, silk fila- 
ments as it hardened in the open air. 
So the Count did the same. (No, not 
harden in the open air.) He took solid 
cellulose and changed it into a liquid. 
He forced it through a spinneret — а 
thing like a thimble, with fine holes 


Those Fabricated Fabrics 


before you buy, know which 15 which and why 


attire ву FREDERIC А. BIRMINGHAM 


PLAYBOY 


50 


di 


s it eme 


drilled in it — and acd it into solid 
ments, or threads, ed into 
warm air which evaporated the liquid 
solvents. Then he these threads 
into а glistening dress which his wife 
wore to the Paris Exposition. OK, so it 
on. But at that time it was 
le fabric and was called 


wove 


was only 


deemed a mira 
"artificial silk." 

From then on. the progress of syn 
Thetis was downhill and faster and 
laster all the way to this day. In. the 
interim, truly all-man-ınade fibers were 
developed. Like DuPonts Nylon. for 
instance (on which a purported 20 mil 
lion clams were expended to produce the 
first pound). Nylon is composed of а 
wholly new chemical compound not 
found in mature. On its non-organic 


heels came Orlon, Dynel, Acrilan and 
Dacron. And there were and are more 
man-evolved fibers from such organic 


and natural raw materials as cellulose, 


milk. glass, corn, peanuts, coal and even 
rock (asbestos — not recommended for 
casual wear). 

Anyway. while few lab-made fibers arc 
miracles — in the sense that spooky teams 
of bifocaled Мех and Mandrakes 
waved wands to produce summer suits — 
the fact is that you no longer have to 
go nudist to feel cool. Lab-produced 
fibers can be made to order. spun thick 
or thin, smooth or shaggy, soft or hard, 
shiny or dull, heavy or light. Nature's not 
through with you, though: the most sac 
сомы fabrics are usually compounded 
of natural and man-made fibers in vari 
ous proportions. designed to exploit the 
best qualities of each. Here's an example. 

Ihe Raeford Worsted Corporation, а 
member of Burlington Industries, has 
long made summer fabrics for all the 
best labels. This year, they've announced 
а summer-weight fabric that part 
worsted, part Dacron. It weighs in at a 


SYNTHETICS: WHAT GOES IN, WHAT COMES OUT 


FIBERS RAW MATERIALS. CHARACTERISTICS. TRADE NAMES 
Sleek or fuzzy, heavy or light. 
Cellulose — Wood Does not absorb moisture readily. Arnel 
pulp or cotton Пан | РИЗМ. Supple. Resilient. Thermo- | Celanese 
ers. plastic. Resists moths, perspira- DuPont Acetate 
tion, mildew. Dissolves in alcohol Chromespun 


or acetone. Luxury drape. 


Resilient. Fluffy look but strong. 


Elements found in | Resists sunlight, soot, smoke, Creslan 
ACRYLIC coal, air, water, fumes, chemicals. Thermoplastic. Orlon 
petroleum and lime- | Low moisture absorbency, dries дупе! 
stone. quickly. Warmth with itte weight. | үйе 
Wrinkle resistant, 
Very strong, elastic. Smooth, non- 
Cae tet | absorbent fibers. Dres quickly. інілі Кен 
NYLON hulls, bran, gas, | Dust does not cling. Ko attraction fj [ЫРП 
petroleum. for moths and other insects. stone Nylon, 
Very springy. Will not wilt or 
droop. Dirt does not penetrate, 
Coal, air, water, tests only on surface. Insensitive 
POLYESTER | шыл, | to moisture. Thermoplastic. Re- | 2259 
sists abrasion, sunlight, moths, 
mildew. 
Reacts іп cotton-like way. Very ‚Avisco 
e absorbent, dries slowly, very re- Bemberg 
UR Cellulose m Wood | сере to variety of dyes and | Fortisan 
ip © | special finishes. Versatile may Jetspun 
be dull or lustrous, heavy or light. DuPont Rayon 


mere 5156 ounces per yard as compared 
with the 8 to 9 of most of 
summer fabrics. And its not only cooler 
because it's 20%, lighter: che fabric has 
millions of air-conditioning pores: com 
paring the new Fabric with the old under 
а microscope is like comparing a screen 
door with an old log wall that's got a 
wide scattering. of small holes. Further 
more, there are better wearing qualities 
in the new fabric We all know about 
wool and how good it is, even in sum 
mer, don't we, class? The Dacron is just 
as clastic and much stronger. In this 
new material. the natural and man-made 
fibers in combination give you case of 
fit and retention of shape and press 
because Dacron is a smooth, crisp fiber 
that won't wilt or droop. Not 

that: dirt and stains only тем on its 
surface and won't sink in; its insensitive 
to moisture; and it is “thermoplastic” = 
once set into а certain shape by the 
application of heat. it stays that way 
Moths pass it by. too— tastes. awful 
What more do you want in a suit? Wash 
ability? You can get that, too 一 though 
we recommend dry cleaning and pressing 
as simpler and surer. 

The purely visual fashion importance 
ol the new synthetics and combinations 
is the interesting patterns they make 
possible. Racford, for example, with a 
weather eye on the popular herringbone 
weave. has reduced the design with the 
aid of extremely fine Dacron-and-wool 
thread to a smooth and highly elegant 
pattern they have buoyantly and accu 
rately labeled the "guppybone" weave 

So much for background; now let's get 
practical. On the accompanying chart 
you'll see that the new fibers comprise 
just five basic types. cach with its own 
set of characteristics. Various manufac 
turers have their own names for these 
fibers, and a listing of the most widely 
used of these trade names is also given. 
Armed with the chart, you should be 
able to gauge fairly whether an article 
of clothing made of any one of Шет, in 
whole or in part, will give you the quali- 
ties you seck. 

One hidden value you may find in this 
chart is that it should serve to educate 
you sufficiently to determine whether a 
clothing salesman knows what he's talk 
ing about when he pitches a particular 
suit. И your questions 
about comparative coolness, wrinkle re 
sistance, washability, etc, elicit some 
fast double talk — find another salesman 
or another store. Knowing what qualities 
t in a suits fabric, knowing 
getting them, 
you can then make vour sensible selec 
tions (within the chosen fabric group) of 
those colors, textures and tailoring de- 
tails which please you most. 


ам year's 


only 


he doesn't — il 


you v 
enough to find out if you're 


“My new boss has а very liberal vacation policy — he's 
going to take me to Palm Beach four times a year.” 


51 


agnes laurent plays a portable pretty in a new french film 


POCKET-SIZE PARISIENNE 


pictorial 


Biology prof Jean Marcis hides his diminutive 
darling fram his class in the film Pocket Love. 


'OULDN'T YOU KNOW 11? Here in the 
U.S., the best thing the moviemakers 
can come up with in the Incredible 
Shrinking Department is a Man; it took 
the French, naturellement, to discover 
the added appeal of an Incredible 
Shrinking Girl. 
The girl is blonde Agnes Laurent, 
whose crackling combination of kittenish 


pertness and pantherine sensuality is somewhat reminiscent of her compatriot, Brigitte Bardot. 
In Un Amour de Poche (Pocket Love), she plays the illicit inamorata of handsome-though- 
married Jean Marais, a biologist. Marais, who has been having a lot of luck as a mad scien- 
tist, making little dogs out of big dogs, performs the same service for Agnés so he can carry her 
around in his pocket à la ballpoint and thus keep her hidden from his jealous wife. 

We felt sorry for Agnés, cooped up there in the dark with all that lint, so we've restored 
her to her normal size and given her several pages to stretch out in, You'll agree, we trow, 
that when a girl is this exciting, it makes more sense for her to be courtable than portable. 


PLAYBOY 


56 


МОТ SO TENDER TRAP (continued from page #7) 


cusers, when they have never even had 
a sexual introduction to any woman, 
when they are actually sterile. 

In Columbus, Ohio, а 16-year-old 
bobby-soxer who left town to visit rela- 
tives came back with a new relative —a 
five-pound offspring. The guilty man, 
she claimed, was a well-fixed owner of a 
specialty shop who used to play with her 
in the back of his store. The man ad- 
mitted to a little playing, but said it 
was all hugs and kisses, and none of what 
the law refers to as “penetrations.” 
The court refused to believe him. A 
year later, the girl admitted that she 
had tagged the wrong man, that the real 
father was another teenager who had 
disappeared into overseas service and 
who had proved impossible to trace. 

In Jacksonville, Florida, a 30-year-old 
divorcee accused a 17-year-old boy in a 
paternity case. The boy had been badly 
smitten with her and she had teased him 
along for a year, while she had bona fide 
affairs with at least five adult males. Ap- 
parently, she decided to elect the young- 
ster as the father of her love child 
because his family had money. After a 
settlement was made, it turned out the 
boy had not yet enjoyed intercourse 
either with her or any other woman. 

In Rockland County, New York, a 
wily female accuser introduced a tape- 
recording of a phone conversation with 
the defendant as proof that he had sired 
her bastard. The recording, in part, 
went like this: 

WOMAN: “Would you at least let me 
give the baby your last nam 
MAN: “Would I what?” 

woman: "Would you let me give it 
your last name?” 

T told you I would.” 
an: "Because you know it’s your 


"What?" 
: “I said, you know it's your 


І figured m; ybe you would 
marry те... You wouldn't marry me 
after you found out I was pregnant. I 
can give the baby your last name?” 

MAN: "Yeah." 

The defendant's lawyer, far from ad- 
mitting that the recording proved his 
client's paternity, insisted his client had 
been entrapped by a secretly recorded 
conversation which only proved that the 
female in the case was a schemer and the 
male was a bit easygoing. His client 
could not be responsible for implanting 
any seeds for the simple reason that he 
was sterile. This statement was borne 
out by medical witnesses. The jury swal- 
lowed the phone conversation, repelled 
the unshaken medical testimony and in- 
vested the defendant with the dubious 
legal honor — and the financial responsi- 


bilities — of fatherhood. 

In a Kentucky case, a former minor- 
league ballplayer who had romanced a 
baseball-nutty manicurist, insisted he 
could not have fathered her child be- 
cause he always took the customary pre- 
caution. His lawyer trapped the girl into 
admitting that as far as she could re- 
member, the accused had indeed insisted 
on employing contraceptives. The jury 
went to sleep on this testimony and 
damned the man anyway. 

How can such outlandish verdicts by 
man’s peers be handed down in an era 
we choose to call enlightened? How can 
so many other legalized paternity perse- 
cutions be countenanced every day in 
our courts in cases not nearly so unique 
and unusual? The answer lies in the fact 
that paternity cases are technically not 
criminal prosecutions. Therefore, the de- 
fendant is not presumed innocent until 
proven guilty, nor is there any need to 
prove his guilt “beyond a reasonable 
doubt.” You can be trumped in a pater- 
nity suit simply on the uncorroborated 
statement of a woman complainant. 
Such testimony can't convict in crimes 
such as rape, abortion or abduction; it 
can't even win a civil suit such as di- 
vorce; but when the charge is bastardy, 
it sticks. Sidney B. Schatkin, assistant 
corporation counsel of New York City 
and the country’s foremost expert on 
paternity suits, says flatly that if it's a 
case ol a man’s word against a woman's, 
the court will invariably take the wom- 
ап%. And New York Special Sessions 
Justice Louis 1. Kaplan points out that 
in most states, a jury will side with the 
woman even if the weight of testimony 
is heavily against her. This includes "car- 
nal knowledge” testimony, in which as- 
sorted males testify about the complain- 
ants sleeping around. The same states 
which require no corroboration of a 
female's charges demand corroborative 
proof of statements by the “carnal” boys. 
What it comes down to is that if you are 
able to get a buddy to testify in your 
behalf that he had “carnal knowledge” 
of the complainant, his testimony proba- 
bly won't do you any good unless he can 
actually produce pictures of himself com- 
mitting the sex act with her. 

The credo that generally obtains in 
paternity cases, at least in English-speak- 
ing countries, is one that was laid down 
in 1938 by an English magistrate named 
Claude Mullins. Testifying before a Par- 
liamentary committee, Judge Mullins 
said that his rule of thumb was to “hold 
as the father of the child any man who 
had intercourse with the mother around 
the probable time of conception.” The 
man who may be the father must pay, 
whether he is in fact the father or not, 
the judge said. 

By setting the standard that inter- 


course —or for practical purposes, the 
mere charge of intercourse — was to be 
the determining factor in these cases, 
Judge Mullins was issuing an inadver- 
tent, but explicit, all clear for extortion- 
ists. In his authoritative legal text, 
Disputed Paternity Proceedings, Schat- 
kin points out that there have been a 
great many recent cases in which 
unmarried women have deliberately 
brought accusations against the wrong 
men. And in many other cases, he says, 
the mother honestly doesn’t know which 
of several men is the father, and so se- 
lects the richest, or the one least likely 
to arouse the sympathy of a judge and 
jury, or the one most vulnerable to pub- 
licity and therefore most likely to setde 
generously out of court. “The man who 
denies sex relations [in a paternity case] 
will probably be disbelieved,” says Schat- 
kin. “If he admits intimacies, his legal 
position is vulnerable. He is defenseless!" 

Some of our courtrooms turn out pa- 
ternity-case verdicts with startling speed 
and uniformity. On a single afternoon 
in Jersey City recently, there were three 
cases in which the defendants introduced 
platoons of males willing to swear that 
the plaintiff's bed was the most heavily 
trafficked in town. It made no difference 
—the defendants were convicted any- 
way. One woman admitted that in addi- 
tion to her present illegitimate child, she 
had three others, all fathered by differ- 
ent men. One might assume her uncor- 
roborated statements to be suspect, but 
the court swallowed them nonetheless. 
One male defendant even brought a 
female to testify for him. She described 
herself as his “true love” and insisted he 
could not possibly have impregnated his 
accuser at her conception time because 
“he was with me every day and night 
during that whole month.” “What hap- 
pened during the few days you had your 
period?” the judge leaned down to ask 
her. “Kept him right with me, found 
other ways to satisfy him," the woman 
snapped. She made an excellent defense 
witness, but the result another cut- 
and-dried guilty verdict. 

What about the theory long popular 
in gentle society that no woman would 
stoop to the embarrassment of a pater- 
nity suit unless she had been, in’ fact, 
cruelly victimized by the ogre haled into 
court? This is a ridiculous belief, ac 
cording to Dr. Nah Brind, Los Angeles 
psychologist and expert on the habits of 
litigious femates. “Most women who give 
birth to illegitimate children are not 
unsophisticated and naive maidens, but 
rather those who have had a great deal 
of sexual experience, They are apt to be 
exhilarated rather than embarrassed by 
the notoriety of a paternity case, because 
it gives them a sense of importance. If 
they're good-looking, it may even make 
them important enough to get а booking 

(continued on page 66) 


breathe deeply, men: 
taut, tawny torsos are 


de rigueur this season 


SOCIOLOGISTS AND HISTORIANS, most of whom are 
men, are beginning to write of our epoch as The 
Age of the Bosom. Vital Statistics, which used to 
be, for example, b. 1885 — 4. 1952, are now more 
likely to be something on the order of 38-24-36. OF 
these latter figures, the statistic that is really vital 
is the first, which is also a pretty good score for 
nine holes of golf. Unfortunately, what was orig. 
inally functional is now largely ornamental and 
frequently artificial, as is so much of modern society. 

But this may also be known in some circles as 
The Age of the Chest, for the upper part of the 
male torso has begun to catch on. The chest may 
never equal the bosom as a topic of conversation, 
fascinating to artists, photographers, and persons 
who, despite the hubbub of 20th Century life and 
20th Century-Fox, have not lost their sense of pro- 
portions, but it is indubitably coming into its own. 
А шап may not be tersely described as 44-32-34, 
but his chest may do more (concluded on page 65) 


humor BY RICHARD ARMOUR 


57 


PLAYBOY 


PICNIC PAPERS 


Finish the steak in a moderate oven, 
allowing 20 to 30 minutes more cook- 
ing, depending on rareness preferred. 
Let the shell steak cool to room tempera- 
ture before putting it in the picnic cargo. 
Carry it unsliced, but wrapped in alu- 
minum foil, in a pan to save drippings. 
Carve diagonally. Salt slices well. Pre- 
sent slices on open French bread brushed 
with drippings. Test jar of pickles be- 
fore embarking so that it may be opened 
without the | critical struggle at 
the last moment. Ale should be moder- 
ately cold, not glacial. Remoye camem- 
bert cheese from portable freezer, if 
possible, about a half hour before eat- 
ing, to release its mellow flavor. Provide 
crackers or French bread with the cheese. 
Be sure fresh Bartlett pears are creamy: 
yellow ripe. For coffee with cognac, pour 
hot coffee from thermos into mugs. Hold 
a tablespoon over the coffee, place a 
lump of sugar in it, then fill spoon with 
cognac and set aflame. Let it burn a 
moment or two and then stir into coffee. 

Potato Salad with Chives. Four Por- 
tions. Boil four medium-size new po- 
tatoes in jackets 30 minutes or until 
tender. As soon as potatoes are cool 
enough to handle, peel and cut them 
lengthwise into four strips. Cut strips in- 
to 14-inch-thick slices. Cut 14 cup celery 
into small dice. Combine 14 cup mayon- 
naise, И cup dry white wine, 1 table- 
spoon minced chives, 1 tablespoon salad 
oil, Ya teaspoon dry mustard, 14 teaspoon 
salt and 14 teaspoon white pepper. Pour 
mayonnaise mixture over combined po- 
tatoes and celery. Chill well. 


PICNIC #2 


Vodka Martinis 

Smoked Eel 

Gold Glazed Duckling 

Beet Relish 

Pumpernickel 

Brandied Apricots 

Turkish Coffee 

Twirl martinis in ice before pouring 

into thermos. Don't forget pitted olives. 
Swedish smoked eel іп а four-oz. can 
will serve two. To make beet relish, put 
the contents of an 814-0. can of diced 
or julienne beets, drained of all juice, 
in an clectric blender. Add 2 teaspoons 
horseradish, | tablespoon lemon juice 
and 1 tablespoon sugar. Blend until 
smooth. Chill thoroughly. Be sure pum- 
pernickel is cut thin. Spread bread with 
sweet butter and put slices together. Cut 
in half. Chill brandied apricots. A 20- 
oz. jar will provide three servings, a 
38-02. jar will be sufficient for six. Try 


е potable — аз well as portable. Fol- 
low directions on jar. 

Cold Glazed Duckling. Two-Three 
Portions. Since almost all ducklings are 


(continued from page 20) 


sold frozen nowadays, and since duckling 
cannot be split for broiling while the 
bird is still frozen, it should be ordered 
from the butcher a day or two in 
advance. You will need а four-to-five- 
Ib. duckling. Tell the butcher to 
thaw it and split it for broiling, remov- 
ing neck and backbone. Place duckling. 
skin side down, under a moderate broiler 
flame. Broil 20 minutes. Turn. Pierce 
skin in six or eight places with a kitchen 
fork to permit fat to escape. Broil, skin 
side up, until duckling is golden brown, 
about 20 to 25 minutes more. Place 
duckling, skin side up, on a wire rack, 
in an uncovered roasting pan. Combine 
3 tablespoons honey with 3 tablespoons 
dry sherry and 1% teaspoon ground cin- 
namon, mixing well. Roast duckling at 
325°. Brush skin about every 10 min- 
utes with honey mixture. Roast until 
drumstick separates easily from second 
joint, about one hour. Cool to room tem- 
ure before chilling in refrigerator. 


тсас #3 


Paté de Foie Gras 
Gold Sliced Ham and Turkey 
Onion Turnovers 
jour Rye Bread 

Watercress and Tomato Salad 

Planter's Punch 

Fresh Mangoes 

Earl Grey Tea 

А 1107. terrine of paté de foie gras 
will serve two. It should be well chilled 
and spread on crisp crackers or melba 
toast just before serving. Buy cooked 
turkey and ham, sliced thin, allowing 
three to four ozs. cooked meat per por- 
tion. Transport the sliced meat just as it 
comes from the delicatessen well wrapped 
in wax paper. Arrange slices on an at- 
tractive platter for serving. Provide one 
bunch of watercress and two large beef- 
steak tomatoes for four portions of salad. 
Cut tomatoes into wedges. Carry salad 
dressing in bottle. Mix Planters punch 
with ice before leaving. Drain and pour 
into cold thermos. To serve, pour over 
ice in tall glasses, adding at the last mo- 
ment a splash of soda water, Be sure 
mangoes are soft and ripe. Take along a 
paring knife to peel mango skin from 
top down, petal fashion. Brew Елгі Grey 
tea five minutes before pouring into hot 
thermos. Don't forget sugar 
Onion Turnovers. 12-14 Small Turn- 

overs. Boil one medium-size peeled po- 
tato. Mash through potato ricer. Cut one 
slice of bacon into small dice. Mince two 
medium-size onions and М medium-size 
green pepper. Put 2 tablespoons butter, 
bacon, onion and green pepper in a 
Sauté slowly until onion turns 
yellow. Combine mashed potato and 
onion mixture. Mix well. Season to taste 
with salt and pepper. Prepare a package 
of piecrust mix, following directions on 


packa; Roll dough to учась thick- 
ness. Cut dough into four-inch circles. 
An empty No. 214 can may be used as 
a cooky cutter. Beat one egg, and brush 
the rim of each circle of dough with 
egg. Place 1 tablespoon onion mixture 
on each circle of dough. Fold dough 
over, pocketbook fashion. pressing ends 
together. in hot oven, 450%, 12 to 
15 minutes. Wrap turnovers іп alumi- 
num foil and transport in insulated 
to keep warm. If turnovers are baked 
beforehand. they may be reheated just 
before packing the picnic hamper. ‘They 
may be eaten cold if desired 


menic #4 


Claret Consommé on the Rocks 

Frogs’ Legs Provencale 

Julienne Potatoes 

Buttered Rolls 

Alsatian Wine, Sylvaner 

Baba au Rhum 

French Roast Coffee 

Open a 13-07. can of claret consommé, 

serving two, and spike with two ozs. dry 
red wine. Do not chill. To serve, pour 
over rocks in old fashioned glasses. Ju- 
lienne potatoes, variously identified as 
shoestring potatoes or matchstick pota 
tues, are available in either cans or cello- 
phane bags. Slice and butter rolls belore 
wrapping іп wax paper. Luscious Syl- 
vaner wine goes well with practically 
every food known to man. Serve it well 
chilled. Baba au rhum, small rum cakes, 
are available in 14-02. cans which will 
serve four to six persons. Be sure can 
is turned upside down five minutes b 
fore opening so that the syrup сап 
drizzle over the babas, If French roast 
coffee isn't procurable, prepare the in- 
stant espresso instead. Either the French 
or the espresso should be served 


black. 

Frogs’ Legs Provengale. Four Portion 
Wash, disjoint and bone 11% Ibs. fresh 
frogs’ legs. Mix in a large paper bag 
with И cup flour, 1 teaspoon salt, 14 
teaspoon monosodium glutamate and И 
teaspoon paprika, Place meat inside and 
shake bag well to coat meat thoroughly 
with Hour mixture. In a heavy saucepan 
melt 3 tablespoons butter. Add 2 table- 
spoons oil. Sauté frogs’ legs until light 
brown. Add 1% cup dry white wine. Sim- 
mer three minutes. Add 3 tablespoons 
minced parsley and 1% teaspoon garlic 
powder, Drain a No. 2 can tomatoes, 
chop meat coarsely and add tomatoes to 
рап. Do not include tomato juice. Sim- 
mer five minutes longer. Season to taste 
with salt and pepper. Spoon into wide 
mouth thermos jug. 

One final tip: though preparing the 
hearty masculine edibles is your job, 
once you arrive at the picnic site, dele- 
gate the serving chores to her. Wilder- 
ness, like the man said, will be paradise 


enow. 


44 7 B 6 «ер 


S 
y 
% 
E 
3 
= 
= 


з--...... 
P. Danse 


лоадита 


“Goodness, Mr. Baxter, you are a friendly travel agent!” 


Ribald Classic 


A TWO-LOVER WOMAN 


The first transcription of a tale from the folklore of West Africa 


Mobamba's husband regarded her with suspicion. 


HEY SAY AND TELL that one old man 

was very jealous of his pretty young 
wife. Oh he was very, very jealous. Jeal- 
ous to a fault. But who can deny that he 
had his reasons? His wife, called Mobam- 
ba, had not one, but two young lovers, 
and the husband knew about them. 

When he could stand the knowledge 
no longer he decided he would have to 
kill both the lovers if he could. All he 
had to do, he believed, was to catch one 
of them at his hut. Later he could manage 
to put away the other. So he told his 
wife one morning that he had to go off 
to a nearby town on business. Instead 
he only crossed the road and took up a 
watching post in one of the huts facing 
his own. 

Before he began this spying he had 
told his wife, in a fit of anger, that he 
knew of her unfaithfulness and intended 
to punish it. Therefore, she was very 
much afraid and suspected that he might 
ty to catch one of her lovers. But she 
had no chance to warn either of them 
that her husband might be on the watch, 
and she knew that certainly when they 
learned that he had gone away, one or 
the other would make her a visit. 

Sure enough, he had hardly let his de- 
ture be known, when the first lover 

isited Mobamba. The woman was in 
panic. She said, “You should not have 
come! He has not really gone away. I 
think he must be hiding.” 

“But they said he had set out. Five 
friends told me they saw him leave the 
village. Surely you are imagining things.” 

The woman looked over his shoulder 
and up the road. “If you think it is my 


imagination,” she whispered in terror, 
“look who is coming across the street.” 

“It is your man,” said the lover. “What 
do we do now? He is carrying a spear 
and a long knife. 1 am unarmed.” 

Quickly she unrolled ап old kinja, one 
of those stiff mats seen in every hut. She 
made her lover roll up in it and she 
propped it against the wall. Then she 
turned to the door to face her irate 
husband. 

His eyes quickly took in the kinja. 
“Why is a Атм standing against the 
wall?” he asked. 

His wile thought a minute, and be- 
cause a woman in trouble is as wise as 
a serpent or a crocodile, she found an 
answer. 

“A salesman came here with it this 
afternoon,” she lied. “He left it here for 
me to try out, and said he would be back 
tonight to get his money or to take it 
away if I did not want it. I can't under- 
stand why he hasn't returned, and 1 wish 
he would, for 1 do not want it. It is not 
well made.” 

Just then, the other lover pushed aside 
the door curtain and stepped into the 
hut. Seeing her husband, his eyes wid- 
ened with fright. Before he could speak 
or bolt, however, the woman spoke froin 
the depths of her serpent-wisdom. 

“What kept you so long, man?” she 
asked. “I have had time to wear out the 
kinja you left, let alone examine it. Here, 
take it and go. We do not want it.” 

The second lover was no fool, and he 
quickly realized what his paramour was 
up to. He managed a smile and a bob of 


the head. He found he could face the 
husband without blanching or letting his 
eyes linger on the long knife. 

“I am sorry you do not like it,” he 
said. “Perhaps 1 can sell you a better 
one some day.” 

After he had carried the heavy mat 
for some distance, the man inside spoke. 

“You can put me down now,” said the 
muffled voice. “I am about to smother 
in here,” 

The second lover set the kinja down, 
untied the cord that held it, and allowed 
the first lover to step out. 

The second lover looked a little sour. 
“Are you Mobamba's lover, too?” he 
growled. “Maybe I should choke you to 
death.” 

“Why?” asked the first lover. “You 
owe your life to me, you know. If 1 had 
not been in the kinja, the old man would 
have certainly given you the knife.” 

The second lover scratched his head. 
“That is true,” he replied. “1 suppose 
I do owe it to you. But, come to think 
of it, you owe me your life as well. Had 
it not been for my carrying you away 
from that house, he would have soon 
discovered you and the knile would have 
tasted your entrails, too.’ 

After that they were silent for a long 
time pondering the matter. 

Then, without saying a word, each ex- 
tended his right hand and laid it upon 
the other's chest over the heart. 

“Brothers?” asked the first lover. 

“Brothers forever,” said the second. 

—Retold by J. A. Gato 


61 


PLAYBOY 


BEAVERS OF BROADWAY 


although sometimes it may be over- 
curled and overlong like the Terrible 
Turk's, or overwaxed and oververtical 
like Salvador Dali's. Those аге excep- 
al cases, where hair is employed іп 
ки of a neon sign, to attract attention 
to the wares. 

Unlike a beard, а mustache usually 
expresses a desire to conform, to correct 
or distract from fancied imperfections 
in facial symmetry, or to balance a de- 
ficiency in the semblance of dignity and 
maturity. In fact, the mustache is so 
commonplace that often its presence is 
hardly noticed. 

Reginald Gardiner’s soup strainer 
was evident in every scene of The Show 
15 On, except the Hamlet sketch 一 
where heavy make-up was applied over 
his mustache to make it invisible. Yet 
no one ever commented on thi: 
again, off-again, on-again mystery. 
DeLange, the songwriter-bandleader. 


i 


oM the lelt side of his mustache 
nobody, in the dozen nightclubs he 
visited before dawn, would mention 
that half his cookie duster was missing, 

The fact that а mustache is а some- 
time thing, a temporary habit born of 
whim, a doodle of liule consequence, 
was recognized by Groucho Marx when 
he was invited to endorse a brand-name 
toothpaste. He was assured that, in re 
turn, his photo would appear in every 
Шола and subway station in the 1 
“No, thank you roucho за 
ready hi mustache. 

When Russel Crouse embarked on a 
long cruise to Europe, he decided that 
a musta 
a Pulitzer Р s. 
After six weeks of careful cultivation of 
his upper lip. he abandoned the proj- 
ect in Naples, because he discovered 
that most of the local belles had mus- 
taches thicker than his. 

After Judge Pecoi in his lecture, 
had successfully dismissed the matter of 
a law student asked if the 
jurist’s warning against selecting bearded 
men as jurors would apply to monocle- 
rers as well. “That question is aca- 

Pecora 1. "Any man who'd 
monocle into a courtroom obvi- 
is trying to avoid jury duty. 
alify anyway. 


he would make him look like 
ze playwright, which he 


ously 
Besides, he couldn't qu 
because he's probably not ап American. 


But some American men do wear 
monocles. George Jessel has been sport- 
ing one for the past 10 years. He insists 
Шас it saves him а good deal of time, 
when his photo is about to be taken: 
“I use a monocle because only my left 
eye is weak. If I wore eyeglasses, Га 
ауе to tell the neraman to wait 

il I took them off. This way, I either 
drop the monocle or turn my profile, 
and the monocle isn't in the picture. 


(continued from page 26) 


Mr. Jessel takes pride in his monocle 
because he feels it enhances his program 
to be accepted slowly but surely as 
another George. Arliss. 

Jessel was taught the proper way of 
wearing a monocle by the world's forc- 
позі practitioner, Charles Coburn. “АП 
you have to do, George," said Mr. 
Coburn, "is i ne that the sun is 
always shining in one eye.” Neither 
the monocle nor his distinguished bear- 
ing was sufficient, however, to get Mr 
Coburn past the headwaiter's rope at 
Chicago's elegant Pump Room. The 
film star wasn't wearing a це. Hed 
gone to thc Pump Room during a train 
stopover, en route from New York to 
Hollywood. The headwaiter offered him 
a tie. “Thank you," Mr. Coburn said, 
pointing to his monocle, “but isn't this 
formal enough?” 

No, neither a monocle nor a mustache 
expresses the same assertion of indi- 
ality as a beard. At best they are 
mid, hall-hearted efforts—a_ dipping 
of the toe into the pool before daring 
to make the full plunge. 

John Steinbeck took this plunge a 
few weeks before he was introduced to 
Ernest Hemingway at the 21 Club. A 
mutual friend saw the two bearded 
novelists at the same table and asked 
Hemingway: "Why the beard?” Mr. 
Hemingway, who'd grown it as protec- 
tion for his sensitive skin against the 
icquired оп his fish i 


n was asked: "Why 
the beard?" He answered: “Obviously, 
flectation." The truth, however, 
was that Steinbeck started to grow a 
beard the day an obstetrician informed 
him that he was about to become a 
father. He suspected that his wife might 
become self-conscious if people began 
noticing her approaching motherhood. 
“I grew the beard," he confided, "so 
that people would stare at me instead 
of at he 

When Steinbeck's son was born, the 
author distributed cigars, then went to 
a barbershop and had his beard shaved 
off. He grew a second beard while it- 
ing the birth of his second son. Stein- 
beck raised no other children, but he 
did raise a third beard, last year. He 
shaved it, after a month. “I found out," 
he said, “that when у 
club or restaurant table where everyone 
ks for the check, the waiter always 
gives it to the one with the beard 

Gerald Kersh, the British novelist, has 
always steeled himself against comments 
bout his dark beard. Іп Lindy's one 
ight a man who walked by Kersh's 


table asked, “Say, what's with that 
beard?” Kersh eyed him coldly, and re- 
plied, “Sir, would you have said that to 


Abraham Lincoln?” 


One night, at a supper party in New 
York, Kersh was seated at the same 
table with Al Hirschfeld, the bearded 
artist. They glanced at cach other with 
curiosity at first, the way two duckbill 
platypuses would in a hutch of rabbits 
— outnumbered, but instinctively recog 
nizing the feature which set them apart 


from the others. Kersh spoke first, stat- 
ing that he had just been invited by 
the New York Post to review book 


about beards. Hirschfeld said that the 
Christian Science Monitor had asked 
him to review the very same tome. 
Kersh then added that he was busy 
writing his own book. "So am L" said 
Hirschfeld. The Englishman suddenly 
called to a waiter to bring him a glass 
of water, so that he could swallow 
pills, “Гуе had mal he сәрі 
Hirschfeld nodded, sympathetically, and 
said, “I've had malaria too. Got it in 
the South 
Kersh glared at him, then took a 
dime from his pocket, placed it between 
his teeth and, with thumb and molars, 
bent the coin in two. This feat is 
Kersh's specialty and has produced more 
loosened teeih — among envious com- 
petitors in bars all over Ше world 一 
than Jack Dempsey ever did in his 
prime. Hirschfeld studied the bent coin. 
and said, "Mr. Kersh, if there's been a 
contest going on betw: us, you win." 
Kersh writes his stories by dictating 
them to his wife, who records his words 
in shorthand and then types the 
Sometimes, while waiting for his wi 
typing to catch up with his prolific 
thoughts, the novelist trims his beard 
or shaves it off completely. ‘This tem- 
porarily satisfies his whims but presents 
a problem when he travels and has to 
submit identity papers to the immigra- 
tion and customs officials. Kersh there- 
fore carries an old and a new passport: 
one shows him with a beard, Ше other 
shows him clean-shaven. 
* Hirschfeld's passport shows him beard- 
ed, of course. A few years ago he ac- 
companied $. J. Perelman on а trip 
around the world, gathering material 
for two books on which they later col- 
laborated. During the long cruise across 
the Pacific, on a slow boat, Perelman 
started to grow a beard while, simulta- 
neously, Hirschfeld trimmed. his own 
beard daily. By the time they reached 
the first foreign port and submitted 
their passports as identification, the im- 


migration officials were somewhat be- 
wildered at secing Hirschfeld clean- 
shaven and his beard apparently 


ferred to Perelman. 

Hirschfeld lives in а private house 
on E. 95th Street, where his bearded in- 
fluence is so dominant that the block 
has become the only Amish-looking 
community in Manhattan. June Havoc 
and her husband, Bill Spier, bought a 

(concluded overleaf) 


“Well, И’; your fault — you wouldn't let me out to 
mail the first payment.” 


63 


PLAYBOY 


64 


BEAVERS OF BROADWAY 


(continued from page 62) 
house on that street, and soon Mr. Spier 
grew a beard. Maria and Bill Riva, the 
Alfred Г s and Viveca Lindfors and 
her playwright-husband, George Tabori, 
bought homes on that block and all the 
men promptly grew beards too. 

Alfred Drake grew his to simplify his 
make-up problem when he starred іп 
Kismet. Jt is traditional in the theatre 
that actors who ordinarily shave twice 
a day to present a well-groomed appear- 
ance never hesitate about sprouting the 
scraggliest of beards, once they're told 
that it will enhance their performance 
on-stage. 

Charles Boyer first became a star in 
Paris, in roles written for him by Henry 
Bernstein, the late playwright. Even 
when Bernstein was in his seventies he 
fancied himself the romantic equal of 
any of the matinee idols he employed. 
Once, however, his confidence was 
shaken by a lady he was wooing: she ex- 
pressed admiration for Monsicur Boyer, 
who was busy rehearsing in a Bernstein 
play. The playwright took protective 
measures. He told Boyer: “Charles, I 
want you to grow a beard for this role.” 

In the ensuing weeks the young star 
never shaved, and his handsome face 
soon was masked by ап itchy, unattrac- 
tive bush, On the day the play was 
scheduled to open, Bernstein’s romance 
with the lady had run its natural course 
and he was concentrating his attentions 
upon another beauty. Two hours before 
the premiere, when he no longer was 
concerned with possible competition 


from his star, he told Boyer, “Shave 
the beard, my dear Charles. It’s really 
not necessary for the plot or the char- 
acterization.” 

Peter Ustinov grew a beard for his 
starring role in the play he wrote, 
Romanoff and Juliet, and cultivated it 
—not only for its realistic effect but 
also because it served a useful family 
purpose. “Whenever I lean over my 
son's crib or carriage, һе grabs my beard 
and lifts himself up,” said Ustinov. “My 
beard helps strengthen my baby's back.” 

When the color photograph accom- 
panying this treatise was being taken, 
Ustinov was carrying on a running 
conversation with his table partner, 
Commander Whitehead, president of 
Schweppes. Ustinov said, “You know, just 
as there are different shapes and varieties 
of beards — Van Dykes, Dundrearies, etc. 
—so there are historically contoured 
beards. ‘Take mine; it is so late-Victorian 
that a great uncle of е whom I had 
never seen, upon coming on mc unex- 
pectedly in a Paris street, was so stricken 
by my resemblance to his great uncle, 
only because of the shape of my beard, 
that he almost had a seizure right then 
and there. He thought he was secing 
a ghost, a Victorian ghost. Now, Com- 
mander, take your beard. It’s absolutely 
Elizabethan, and 1 don't doubt that it 
influences your behavior in that direc- 
tion. In fact, 1 think it would look the 
cats whiskers above a ruff.” 

On the day Orson Welles started re- 
hearsing his ill-fated production of Five 
Kings, he and his co-stars, Burgess Mere- 
dith and John Emery, began to culti- 
vate beards for this period production. 


“I've never been able to say no to a salesman!” 


Tallulah Bankhead knew that the ven- 
ture had been canceled when, one eve- 
ning, her husband at that time, John 
Emery, came home clean-shaven. Tallu- 
lah felt the temporary loss of her hus- 
band's employment was compensated (ог, 
in a way, by the disappearance of the 
beaver to which she was constitutionally 
allergic. 

Tallulah’s aversion to beards was fur- 
ther expressed in а Broadway supper 
club where she was introduced to James 
Mason, who was wearing a beard. When 
the waiter asked for her order, ‘Tallulah 
glanced at Mr. Mason's facial decora- 
tion, then said, “One ham sandwich, 
опе coffee — and one razor, please. 

Kenny Bowers, a young singer, signed 
a contract with Columbia Records last 
year. Bowers, whose hair is red, grew 
a red goatee before his first recording 
session, which met with the full ap- 
proval of Mitch Miller, the bearded 
head of the popular music division of 
Columbia Records. “Kenny's beard is 
an added advantage,” Mr. Miller 
“И he fails with his first record, we 
change his name, cut off his beard — 
and try again with a new face.” 

John Vandercook, the bearded com- 
mentator, wisely decided to do away 
with his facial shrubbery as soon as his 
broadcasts were sponsored by the elec- 
tric razor division of Remington Rand. 
“Frankly,” he shrugged, “my pointed 
beard was not at all becoming. When I 
wore a straw hat, it made me look like 
а thumbtack." 

Franchot Tone’s family wealth, plus 
his own Hollywood savings, gave him 
security enough to be able to keep his 
beard in the face of commercial pres- 
sures. Tonc grew the beaver last season 
for his off-Broadway performance in 
Uncle Vanya, and fell in love with it. 
Then he was offered a coveted role as 
leading man on TV's Playhouse 90, but 
a role which would require him to shave 
his beard. He rejected the offer and 
said he'd wait until the producers of 
the program had a bearded part for 
him. А few weeks later the TV produc- 
ers found a bearded role, and Tone 
played it with whiskers intact, 

But it was Ernest Hemingway who 
uttered the definite statement expressing 
man’s measure of devotion to a beard. 
lt was in Havana, during his visit 
aboard the yacht owned by Billy Leeds, 
heir to a tin-plate fortune. Leeds com- 
mented on Hemingway's beard, and 
said, “И 1 got four members of my crew 
to hold you down, while my barber cut 
your beard off, what would you do?” 
Leeds had his finger on the buzzer 
which would summon the crew. 

Ernest Hemingway drew his knife, 
and calmly replied, “J would kill them." 


AGE OF THE CHEST 


(continued from page 57) 
for him, on the beach or in Hollywood, 
than merely serving as the outside of his 
lungs. 

The Age of the Chest is thought by 
some scholars to have begun with the 
appearance of Marlon Brando in 4 
Streetcar Named Desire, an appearance 
that many ambitious young men have 
imitated since. With or without a T- 
shirt, the Brando chest was the focal 
point, and some critics say the only 
point, in the film. Certainly it was much 
more in evidence than the streetcar, and 
was the sturdiest chest, with or without 
drawers, amongst all the ramshackle 
furniture in that decadent New Orleans 
apartment, Indeed Brando may be said 
to have done for the chest what John 
Barrymore a generation earlier did for 
the profile, a feature now largely neg: 
lected. Barrymore, however, had a good 
side and a bad side, which kept him 
sidling up to the camera, whereas 
Brando looked good from either side, 
front or back, though he probably took 
care not to be photographed just after 
exhaling 

If Brando made America chest con- 
scious, Burt Lancaster in recent cinema 
roles has brought the chest to its height, 
as well as its breadth. The Lancaster 
chest is a thing of rugged beauty. pos- 
sessing some of the rocky grandeur of 
the Sierra Nevada, but without fish or 
game. It is unmistakably male, and sug- 
gests brute strength, virile passion, and 
a tendency to perspire under the hot 
sun or in a warm embrace. 

Speaking of brute strength, it may 
be that not Brando but Johnny Weis- 
muller and the other portrayers of Tar- 
zan should be credited with initiating 
The Age of the Chest. However, the 
Tarzan costume (an off-the-shoulder 
leopard skin) is inferior, chest-wise, to 
the more civilized bareness of the pres- 
ent era. Unlike the bosom, which often 
benefits from being seen piccemeal, the 
chest needs to come on one with over- 
powering completeness. The chest, in 
other words, should leave nothing to 
the imagination and should simply be 
itself, there being little chance that it 
will be mistaken for anything else. 

When Victor Mature began to ap- 
pear in roles that called for a brave 
show of chest, many felt that this was 
going a little too far, though it rarely 
went more than a couple of inches be- 
low the navel. The Mature chest, as dis- 
tinguished from the immature chest, 
dicates that ripeness or fulfillment has 
been reached and decline may be setting 
But in a coat of chain mail, even 
with narrow lapels and natural shoul- 
ders, Mature displays remarkable chest 
expansion and an understandably pained 


expression 

Certain chests, such as those of Frank 
Sinatra, Fred Astaire and Jerry Lew 
have never been exploited by Holly- 
wood. Some shrewd producer, howeve 
may get the idea of putting one or all 
three of these gentlemen into a film, 
stripped to the waist and gleam 
cial sweat. Such а pictur 
have tremendous box office appeal, es- 
pecially to the Average Man, now 
hunched self-consciously in his seat while 
his best girl drools over the massive 
chest muscles of Marlon or Burt. 

What the sweater is to a girl, the 
T-shirt is to a man, and he too wears 
it as tight as possible and pretends to 
be unaware of admiring glances. A 
man wearing а loose-htting T-shirt prob: 
ably has something to conceal, or he is 
only half a man, and not the upper Вай 
at that. Usually a man possessing а so 
called barrel chest, with staves instead 
of ribs, will buy a T-shirt that is a 
couple of sizes too small, and then re- 
turn it to the store if it fails to shrink. 
One of the worst things about winter 
is that some men find it no longer 
possible to go around without a coat 
and shirt. For several months, at least 
January, February and March, they are 
quite without С.А. (Chest Appeal), 
looking no better than undeveloped 
chaps in heavy tweed sports jackets. The 
flower blushes unseen, the light is hid- 
den under a bushel, and there is a great 
longing for summertime. 

But of course the chest is best dis 
played au naturel, which is French. 
‘Then the pectoral muscles stand out in 
stark relief and ripple like the flanks of 
a fly-bitten horse every time their own- 
er makes the slightest motion, such as 
coughing gently to be sure everyone is 
Then too, observers are able 
to behold the beautiful mat of hair, 
with “Welcome” across it, hair that is 
curly and vibrant and would make su- 
рег» filling for an invalid cushion or 
a softball. In a T-shirt all of this is lost, 
save perhaps a few inquisitive hairs 
peeping over the top of the collar and 
providing, at most, fringe benefits. 

Considering what a hunk of male 
chest does to the heroine in the movies, 
men are going to have to develop them- 
selves with bar bells, push-ups, or at 
least decp breathing. Then whenever 
the opportunity arises, they will say, 
“Isn't it stuffy in here? Mind if I take 
off my shirt?" Also they must demand 
new styling in clothes, with plunging 
necklines. There may not be much 
cleavage, but for muscles and hair, 
it Anyhow, it 
seems to be what women want these 
days, and, in The Age of the Chest, 
one should keep abreast of the times. 


Have you 
made merry with 
Maoris lately? 


If you have, you must know what great 
parties they throw. So, when you want 
to outshine the Maoris, and gain a 
reputation as a great host, be sure to 
have a supply of Champale on hand. It's 
a sure way to add joie de vivre to any 
gathering. 

Just open those aristocratic looking 
bottles of Champale—well chilled, mind 
you—and pour into stemmed glasses. 
"This sparkling bubbly beverage quickly 
kindles gaiety among your guests— 
Champale is like that! 

You don't need an aristocratic bank- 
roll to buy Champale. It costs but little 
more than beer. So head right now for 
wherever beer is sold . . . your favorite 
restaurant, grocery or bar, and order 
a bottle of Champale. 

You'll learn with your very first sip 


why Champale deserves its description: 
“the malt liquor you serve like 
champagne.” 


FREE! For clever new 
drink recipes, including the 
fabulous Champale Cock- 
tail, write to Dept. 9A, P.O, 
Box 2230, Trenton, N. J. 


THE MALT 


i4 Liquor 

< YOU SERVE 
LIKE 

| cHampacne 


an. 
CHAMPALE 


MALT LIQUOR 
A malt beverage specialty served in a wide, shallow or 
sherbet glass. Metropolis Brewery of N. J., Inc., Trenton, N. J. 


65 


PLAYBOY 


66 


da 
When a hard ‹ 
behind the social 


oTakı 


to concentrate 
subjects. 
eClinical 
most peop 
mental 6 
minutes. 


Single or Double Breasted 


SUITS 
MODERNIZED 


$4 959, 


Convert your old-fash- 
ioned wide-lapel single 
or double-breasted suit 
Or tux to a smart new 
single-breasted model for 
only $19.50 postpaid. Our 
master tailors re-cut and 
re-shape coat collar and 
lapels to modern. single- 
breasted styling (shawl 
collar on tux $4.50 extra). 
Coat size altered if de- 
sired. Satisfaction guar- 
anteed. Write for FREE 
details or send coat and 
check today. 
Master Tailors Since 
1920 

ROGERS TAILORING Co. 
Depl. PB-T 821 Prospect Ave. беніші 15. Bhia 


NOT SO TENDER TRAP 


(continued from page 56) 
in Las Vegas or Miami Beach.” 

The threat of headlines that can tor- 
pedo a man’s career and at the same 
time glamorize a frilly, conscienceless 
accuser, automatically makes prominent 
businessmen and celebrities prize whip- 
ping boys. Usually, when tagged with 
paternity summons, they elect to pay up 
and duck out. In the infrequent cases in 
which they have chosen to make a public 
fight, they have taken a bad beating. 

There was, for example, Hugh Casey, 
the b ue pitcher. А model charged 
him with paternity, he insisted he w. 
innocent апа would not submit to 
shakedowns. She sued, won her case, 
destroyed Casey's reputation in a blaze 
of newspaper headlines. Casey lapsed 
into a fit of depression. A few months 
later, he called his wife, swore again that 
he was an innocent man, then blew his 
brains out. 

It is interesting to note that Casey's 
had been engaged to another 
man at the time she filed her suit, and 
that this man escorted her to court every 
day the trial took place, The two were 
married immediately after Casey was 
adjudged her child's father. 

Millionaire sportsman Alexis Thomp- 
son was another victim of a model's pa- 
ternity suit. He died while his suit was 
in progress and his attorney bitterly 
accused the girl of contributing to his 
death by her campaign of blackmail 
against him. Later, the model sued an- 
other man as the father of a second 
illegitimate child. 

The Charlie Chaplin case deserves 
special attention because it spotlights 
the question of blood tests, which have 
become an increasingly important factor 
in the tricky business of determining 
paternity. A discussion of the Chaplin 
case requires a digression on blood tests, 
which provide the physically able male 
with scientific armor — rather than mere 
evidentiary armor—to contest phony 
claims of paternity. It was the tests made 
in recent disputed New York cases which 
led to the discovery that at least one- 
third of all paternity suits are frauds. 
Despite sporadic attempts to challenge 
blood tests as unclear or imperfect, they 
ave recognized by the American Medical 
Association as being foolproof as finger- 
prints and matters of fact beyond 
dispute. We know, for instance, that 
whatever the blood group of the mother, 
the laws of blood-group heredity pre- 
clude а m; 
ever fathering a child with group AB 
blood. Similarly, a male with an M 
factor in his blood can't father an N fac- 
tor child; nor can a 
negative factor sire an Hr neg 
(The vice versas i 
t00— an. AB male 


accuscr 


ive child. 
these cases all apply 
can't father an O 
child, an N male can't father an M child, 


ather ап Rh 


n Hr negative male can 
negative child.) 

Now since fingerprints, ballistics tests, 
nd other scientific aids are ac 
controvertible items of evi 
dence in even the most horse-und-buggy 
American courtroom, it would be logical 
to expect that technical tests of the 
blood would be accorded the same status, 
Unfortunately, logic and common sense 
scem to have little bearing on bastardy 
proceedings. Only 12 states — Connecti- 
cut, Maine, Maryland, Massachuseu 
New Jersey, New York, North Caroli 
Ohio, Pennsylvan 


a 
Rhode Island, South 
akota and Wisconsin — require that 


blood tests be taken in disputed cases 
Only two of these states — New York and 
Maine — insist that these tests be ac 
cepted as binding by a paternity court. 

This brings us back to the currently 
selfexiled Charlie. Although Charlie 
may be open to criticism on some levels, 
in the one important lawsuit in which 
he was involved in this country, he was 
unmistakably victimized. — Chaplin's 
courtroom nemesis was Joan Berry, for- 
mer actress of sorts, former protegóc, 
former bedmate. The two did their 
romping in California, which was a 
mistake for Charlie and a boon to Berry. 
alifornia allows blood tests to be taken 
into consideration in a paternity case, 
but it doesn’t clothe them with any spe- 
cial recognition that would set them 
apart from other lessscientific evidence 
or even mere tesumony. Furthermore, 
by virtue of a ruling of its Supreme 
Court, California specifically permits 
jurors to ignore the tests. Some lawyers 
feel that this actually encourages juries 
to exclude the consideration of blood 
tests from their verdicts. 

Shortly after the birth of Miss Berry's 
illegitimate progeny, blood tests showed 
that Chaplin was group O, and the baby 
AB. Hence, scientifically, there was no 
doubt d Chaplin could not be the 
father. Miss Berry said she'd been robbed 
and another test was arranged. Three im 
pari pathologists peered into their 
microscopes and came up with the same 
result. Charlie not only had science going 
for him, he also had the asset of Miss 
Berry's dubious testimony. 

Chaplin contended that his intimate 
relations with the actress had stopped 
four months before her child was con 
ceived. Miss Berry admitted this breakup 
with her lover, but insisted she'd gotten 
back into his bed again at the time of 
conception, She testified that she broke 
plin's house nine months be- 
fore her baby's birth, raced into the 
master's bedroom, and threatened him 
with a loaded gun. They had a bitter 
argument about money, she said, during 
which she kept the gun pointed at him. 
For a brief interlude, they stopped hurl- 
ing insults and began making love. 
When that was out of the way, she again 
confronted Charlie with the gun. 


The defense introduced evidence to 
show that Miss Berry was involved with 
three other men in addition to Chaplin. 
She insisted she had no sex relations with 
them, however. One of these men, J. Paul 
Getty — recently headlined as one of the 
richest men in the world — was disclosed 
to have been nightclubbing with her a 
number of times and to have taken her 
back to her hotel at a late hour. She 
admitted receiving money from Getty's 
attorney before she became pregnant. A 
letter from Miss Berry to Chaplin was 
oduced into the record. It read: 
I'm so sick of it. Why am 1 
h with a cheap 
intrigue for a few stinking dollars . . . 
Why do we have to grow up into cheap 
little gold-digging bitches? 

It was impossible, of course, that any 
jury could size up the results of blood 
tests, the raft of damaging admissions by 
Miss Berry. plus the incidental testi- 


mony, and bring in a verdict against 
Chaplin. It was impossible — but it 
happened. 


One of the reasons why it might have 
happened — in Chaplin's case and others 
—is offered by psychologists, many of 
whom maintain that men serving оп 
jurics may feel self-righteous about the 
acts the defendant has allegedly com- 
mitted, or they may feel outright jeal- 


ousy at the fact that they did not share 
the lady's bed. Female jury members 
may harbor unconscious envy — espe- 


cially if the defendant is wealthy and 
good-looking. Together, jury members 
have a tendency to damn the defendant, 
whether he is guilty or not, for being a 
fun-loving fornicator. 

What also happens in some of these 
paternity cases is that the man not only 
has to pay, but has to pay and pay again 
on subsequent go-rounds. Many men 
who either admit, or arc forced to admit, 
to the conception of bastards, prefer to 
make lump-sum settlements in the belict 
that they are permanently crossing these 
obligations off the books. But if the fe- 
male who gets the settlement chooses to 
dissipate it on the horses, on dice games. 
or on plastic surgery to get herself a new 
face, the court will come after the legally 
adjudged papa again. When a wealthy 
anker named Joseph C. Bancroft was 
haled before a New York court to sup- 
port his “destitute” child, he cried out, 
“But I made a complete settlement to 
the mother long ago." The court tsk- 
tsked in sympathy, but said it didn't 
matter what the mother had done with 
the settlement money. All that mattered 
was that the child had to be supported 
and the city relief agency wasn't about 
to do it as long as the man listed as the 
child's father had a decent income. 

To the late Samuel H. Hahn. a promi- 
nent California trial attorney, this con- 
cept that the male is never rid of re- 
sponsibility is a “rotten kind of medieval 
torture that invites the mother oi the 


child to throw her settlement money 
away, instead of forcing her to use it 
for the specific purpose for which it was 
intended. 

What can be done by the men of this 
country to protect themselves and their 
fellows from the kind of paternity rack- 
eteering which the present laws and 
their interpretations seem to condonc? 
A minimum program would encompass 
the following four points. (1) State le; 
latures everywhere must authorize blood 
tests, рау for chem if the defendant can't, 
and accept their results as binding on all 
contested cases. (2) All paternity cases 
should be tried before judges — they're 
not as easily vamped as juries — and 
should be tried in secret, so the inherent 
threats of blackmail-by-headlines won't 
work. (3) Legislation is necessary that 
would force complainants in false pater- 


nity suits to pay damage money; this 
would scare off designing women who 
deliberately accuse innocent men on the 
theory that they have everything to gain 
and nothing to lose. (4) Some kind of 
arrangement should be made whereby 
money paid for child support would go 
into a trust or controlled fund so it can 
be used solely for child support. 

Failing these things, there is one way 
out of the paternity trap — but it is not 
widely available. In a Virginia case, one 
Paul Hufford was charged with seduc- 
tion and paternity and was about to 
be adjudged guilty in both particulars 
when he asked for an examination by a 
courtappointed physician. The phy- 
sician thereupon announced that Huf- 
ford had the ultimate defense — “he” 
was а female. 

Bg 


. FEMALES BY COLE: 49 


67 


PLAYBOY 


ONE ROLL OF 


MOVIE FILM or 
KODACOLOR 


developed and printed 


the World's Largest Eastman 
Kodak Licensed Color Loborc- 
tories. Your Choice of One of 
the Following Free - After 
Your First Order At Our Regu- 
Jar Low Price! 


KODACHROME 


PROCESSED & MOUNTED 


Simply send us your first order for de- 
veloping and processing one or more 
rolls at our regular low price. To dem- 
onstrate our high quality, super color 
reproduction we'll rush back finished 
film to you and include a FREE PRO- 
CESSING CERTIFICATE . . . which 
you can use to have one roll of color 
film processed without charge! Or, you 
can apply your Free Processing Certifi- 
cate as part or full payment toward 
any future order. We include special 
free mailer for your convenience, plus 
complete price list. Send cash, еск 
or money order with your first roll. 
Satisfaction guaranteed. Send film 
with coupon now — ог write for free 
mailer and helpful information. If you 
have no film for processing now 一 
save this ad. Offer good for 90 days. 


Fifth Ave. Color Lab Prices 


KODACOLOR 
(Jumbo Size) 


35 mm. 
KODACHROME 


KODACHROME 
MOVIE FILM 
Boom, Roll 1.25 


Fifth Avenue Color La 
50 Fifth Ave... New York 36 


FIFTH AVENUE COLOR LAB, INC, 
7107, 550 Fifth Ave. 
New York 36, N. Y. 


1 1 
І Enclosed please find ................. І 
(describe film) 

1 and ту full payment as per above І 
price list. I must be completely de- 

І lighted or I am entitled to full refund. І 
With my order send me a FREE PRO- 

І CESSING CERTIFICATE which I may I 
use to have one roll of color film pro- 

Е cessed absolutely free, or apply as pay- I 

| ment toward any future order. | 


Нате, 


‚Tone... 


Leesa mece 


SWEET SADNESS 


{continued from page 16) 
but wonder —how much of what she 
tells me is the truth? Am I being set up 
for something? Js it all some kind of a 
con? Does she really love me? Or does 
she really love her husband? Can а 
whore really love anybody? 

I had the answers very soon. 

For three days I did not өсе Maria. 
She did not come to my hotel, nor was 
she in the Fausto Bar. I went to 110 
Aguila Street; she and the child were 
not there and an old woman informed 
me that they had moved and left no 
forwarding address. I got very drunk. 

One afternoon, just two days before 
I was due to By to New York, I was 
trying to do some work in my room 
when there was a knock on the door. 
It was Maria. 

Two things had happened, she said. 
First, 1 was right about the abortion. 
The pregnancy was too advanced. She 
would have to have the baby. 

Second, Felipe had returned. He was 
sober and he had money—a lot of 
money. He would not say how or 
where he got it. He was still running 
from the police. He said he wanted to 
live with her and their son again, and 
he promised to stay sober. He sounded 
very contrite. But, because of the police, 
they would have to move. 

So they had moved, and she would 
not tell me where. She did not love 
him any more, she said sadly, but what 
was she to do? 

I held her dear face in my hands. 
“Yo te amo,” I said. 

"Yo te amo!" she cried. “Siempre!” 

Forever. It is the oldest lie in the 
world, but we do not mean it to be. 

We cried, we kissed, we embraced. we 
went to bed. 

“Magnifico!” 

“Si, muy magnifico.” 

It was dark by the time we got up 
and dressed. “To the Fausto,” I said. 
“Bebamos.” When you don't dare think, 
you drink. 

The Fausto was four blocks down the 
street from my hotel. You walked down 
Agramonte to Trocadero, across Troca- 
dero to Morro, down Morro to Colon, 
then across Colon toward the Prado. 

Morro, after six ғ.м., is deserted оп 
its lower stretches. One side of it runs 
along Zayas Park, and this park, a 
pleasant enough place in the daytime, 
is a forbidding jungle at night. 

As we neared the corner of Morro 
and Colon, a man leaped suddenly out 
from behind the line of palms in the 
park and ran toward us. 

Maria gasped. “Felipe!” 

He was on me like a leopard, his 
dark, ring-scarred face livid with rage. 
He'd been drinking. Without a word he 
slammed me into a litter-strewn alley 


and drove his fists into my face. 1 went 
down as if I had been poleaxed. 1 had 
no chance with him. He hurled himself 
at me, snarling like a beast Blood 
gushed from my nose and mouth. His 
knee crashed into my groin. I felt my- 
self blacking out. 

И was then that Maria answered all 
my questions. 

She picked up an empty rum bottle 
that was lying on a refuse pile. She 
could have hit Felipe over the head with 
it and perhaps saved my life and his 
skin, but she didn’t 

The Havana branch of the Roval 
Bank of Canada was located on the 
corner of the alley and Morro Street 
Maria hurled the bottle through the 
side window of the bank. 

Bells, alarms and buzzers went off 
with a roar like that which ensues at 
the stroke of midnight on New Year's 
Eve. Before Felipe could get to his feet 
a night watchman. gun in hand, bolted 
through the bank's side door and cov- 
ered him. In not more than five seconds 
the alert Havana policia were swarming 
in the alley. They were very glad to 
see Felipe. They handcuffed him and 
took him away. An ambulance lugged 
me off to the Anglo-American Hospital. 

To save me, Maria bad sent Felipe to 
prison for life. She had chosen to bear 
another child in loneliness and poverty 
rather than let me be hurt. The word 
“love” is not always a lie in the mouth 
of a whore. 

I never saw her again. They patched 
me up in a couple of days. I canceled 
my plane reservation, broke my "un- 
breakable” date in New York, and 
stayed in Havana for а week to look 
for her. I couldn't find her. 1 called the 
police. They couldn't find her either. 
They had no record of an “artista” 
named Maria Gonzalez. She simply and 
deliberately dropped out of sight. Be- 
cause it could come to nothing, our 
amor. 

Whatever happened to her? 1 wish 1 
knew. Sometimes, over a martini in the 
Yale Club, I close my eyes and hear 
again the bongo drums in the midnight 
streets of La Habana, and «е the 
sinuous brown bodies swaying to the 
torrid beat, and feel іп on my lips 
that kiss that was like no other kiss 
ever. And in some night bar of the old 
port I sce a golden girl with silver ear- 
rings and a silver bracelet, throwing 
spitballs into the drink of a lonely 
American. And this golden girl is the 
sole support of two niños, and oh, how 
I wish I were that lonely American! 

I will never see my Habana chica 
again. But — we touched. 

Fats Domino. 

Harry Belafonte. 

Knocking Goal, hon-ee. 

Triste. The sweet sadness, 


SKINDIVER 


(continued from page 42) 
loose, don't you think? Otherwise it’s a 
hazard to navigation. You а 
[here was an offshore wind, and I 
could see Ralph visualizing a thousand 
bucks worth of boat and motor drifting 
off into the wide Adantic. There was a 
Jong pause, toward the end of which 1 
stood up and made as if to heave him 
over the side. 

“Great idea,” he whispered. 

“I'm glad you see it my way.” I said. 
Г handed him a knife, holding the an- 
chor in my other hand. “You cut it 
loose.” 

I taxied up to his skiff and he cut the 
anchor rope. “Brand new motor, too,” 
1 said. "What a pity." We watched it 
move out toward the Gulf Stream, on its 
way to England. 

"And stop dripping blood into ту 
boat. will you? t yourself 
overtop of this Жа Which I kicked 
to him. 

He hung himself over the bucket, and 
all the way back to the dock he nursed 
his wound and moaned. “Might as well 
be dead.” he kept wailing, over and 
over. 


or 


The next day we went to see him in 
the hospital. Flame and I. 

(That was the one good thing about 
the incident: it got Flame and ше to- 
gether on land. There was no longer any 
of that nonsense about only meeting 
under water. We're very chummy оп 
land now, and we never run out of air.) 

Actually, we didn't see him. We got 
as far as the door of his room, but the 
room was full of doctors. We stood ош- 
side, peeking in, and listened to what 
was going on. What was going on was 
a most abominable conspiracy: the docs 
were kidding Ralph, making tremendous 
long faces and shaking their heads sadly, 
and Ralph was swallowing the bait 
whole. 

“Listen, doc," Ralph w 
you give it to me straigl 
I bur 

‘Oh, not bad, son, not bad, 
“You'll probably recover.” 

“Dammit!” Ralph shouted. “I'm not 
worried about that! The question is, 
how much will I recover?” 

“Well, now, that's hard to sav," the 
doc said. putting on а solemn face. 
“We'll just have to see how the lesion 
heals. But I feel pretty certain we won't 
nced surgery. 

"Surgery?" Ralph hollered. “You 
mean maybe you'd have to cut off the 
rest of it? 

“Oh no, nothing like that.” he re- 
assured him. “Maybe a litte trimming 
around the edges. to ward off the pos- 
sibility of gangrene. You wouldn't want 
it to be turning green. would vou" 


saying. “will 
How bad am 


he said. 


“Doctor!” Ralph pleaded, sitting up 
in the bed. “Tell me уоште just kid- 
ding! 

“Ок. I'm just kidding.” he said, push- 
ing him back. 

“Now уоште just kidding.” Ralph 
said, “to quieten me down. My God. 
isnt there anything we could do? 
Shouldn't we put it in traction, or some- 
thing: 

This sent the doctors off into hoots 
of glee. 

“Traction?” the doc said. “No, my 
boy. No, traction is not called for. Now, 
аса, turning to 
the others, “I want you to see this. A 


They all bent over and studied Ralph. 

“The wound resulted from the bite of 
а moray ecl. | want you to notice first 
the superficial striations — ” 

"What do vou mean. “superficial” 
Ralph hollered. “H this bite was on vou. 
you wouldn't be calling it superficial." 

the superficial tooth marks leading 
up to the actual lesion. As vou know, 
the moray does not secrete апу poison. 
However. sepsis usually results from all 
the slimy deposit in the eel’s mouth." 

“Just took the tip off.” one of the doc- 
tors murmured. “Of course. we can make 


you a new one out of gum rubber or 
something. Always look a bit peculiar, 
though” 


“Won't have much sensation." the 
man next to him added thoughtfully. 

“I wonder whether it will ever resume 
normal function,” another of the visitors 
said. “So often. you know, the psychic 
trauma is so great that normal responses 
are impeded. despite the negligible ana- 
tomic damage.” 

“Td like to do a paper on it,” an 
elderly doctor said, "for the medical 


journal. Son, would you mind if 1 took 
a few snapshots tomorrow 

“No pictures!” Ralph shouted. “Lis 
ten, why don't you ghouls just go away 
and leave me aloni 

1 looked at Flame, and she iooked at 
me. and we both smiled. By common 
consent we turned away and tiptoed 
down the hall. 

“I guess he wouldn't want to see us,” 
I said. putting my arm around her. 

She turned those shockingly large and 
searching gray eyes on me. "Ed," she 
said, 71 don't understand. Ralph in 
there, hooting and hollering that wav. 
Why is he making all that noise? He 
told me he was the strong, silent type.” 

I had no answer for that. Г opened 
the door for her and we went out on the 
street. 

7] mean.” she went on, "what is he so 
upset about? Alter all, the cel only took 
oll the end of his — " 

A passing truck backfired at that mo- 

nent and I couldn't hear how she fin 
I didn't quite catch 


1 said.” she repeated. “only took off 
the end of his позе. What is he so с 
cited about? With what they can do i 
plastic surges ys it just isn't that 
important." 


y nowad 


“Oh. it's important to old. Ad 1 
said. “Why, that classic schnoz is his 
most cherished posession. When Ве 
blows that bugle. the girls come run- 


ning. 
“Not this girl.” Flame said. 

We were at her car. I kissed her and 
she got in. 
‘Tomorrow, darling: 
“About two, lover 


she said. 


“Don’t worry about my cigarettes, Miss 
Cunningham — I have а crush-proof bo: 


PLAYBOY 


70 


OA CÜLACUE RIVIERA 
Ya SLEEVE SHIRT 


Mase ety by Lew 
Magram, azr to. the 
Stars" Tus eyelet, солт em 

sé, imported Batiste, 7% 
желк 
‘masterpiece бома іс the ac 
юред ai sleeves An ideat 
short der spring and summer 
hear пош availible, tor qne 
ist tine, 10 yout IÑ STOCK 
кеде Fei. Wren Е Talt 
men who need extra lang Body 
"d sleeves, Speciy mech aine 
and word TALL 33 33 each. Send 


heck or MO. No COO. Mem 
ber Esquire Ciub. 


lew magram 


30 Ано. Oept. P7 NY. 19 


TO CELEBRATE 
OUR 7th ANNIVER- 
SARY. we ofer you, 
for the first time, 
this special discount oñ 
‘our famous Satin Bed- 

ets and Pillow 


м; 
Celanese satin Comes 
D. teed washable hey last 
for years. The perfect 
gift. In our regular 
Popular shades: "Blut, 
White, Sable. Black, 
> Charm Pink, Gold cr 
> Grimson." Satisfaction 
Guaranteed. Prepaid 


18.95 (Reg $28.95) 
18.95 (Teg. 324 25) 


(Extended by 
Demand) 


“ 


ОВ. Bed. 2 sheets, 2 cases. 
Twin Bed, 2 sheets, 2 cases......- 
King Bed, 2 shee ИШ 27:95 (ee $12.05) 
3 Mir. mona. on с 3.00 (Пек. $ 5.00) 


SCINTILLA®, 5718 М. Kenmore Ave., Р.В. Chicago 40, I. 


GIN RUMMY BOOK 
The only book of its kind ever offered to the public. 
ADVICE AND DISCUSSION OF: 


шылы алалы 


This book is not sold in stores. For your postpaid copy 
жене SLOG ie 


MITCHELL PUBLICATIONS 
2550 W. 214 ST, Dept. P. CHICAGO B, ILLINOIS 


Do-It-Yourseif PLASTIC 


LAMINATING 


Now, instant laminating plas- 
tie sheets will permanently 


glue ts 
new process cuts lani- 
мія a much as 15% 
IDEAL FOR PHOTOS 
Favorite snapshots, eli TD's will never 
tear. or wrinkle imbedded tn erystal el 
ORDER NOW Ле. Kit —10 sheets 4 
pald. Jumbe PES 


with pre-wired 
ligned drift-free “front end” 
and precision “eyeironic® tuning 


Wired, less cover, $65.95" "па. FET, oe 


EICO tuners, preamps, amplifiers and „СУ“ 
‘speaker systems — hit and wired < 
— are praised by the experts as 
us best buys in high fidelity. 
coupon for free catalog „| 
a name of ni ^ 
EICO dealer. 


DEVIL TO PAY 


(continued from page 24) 
with a piece of paper in his hand. "Your 
bill, Sir Swithin," he said with repug- 
nance. 

But it’s not the firsteof the month 
yet!" said Sir Swithin. 

“No, sir. But I want no more of your 
trade,” replied the owner, turning away. 
“Keep your car elsewhere,” he added 
over his shoulder and slammed the door. 
Sir Swithin blinked and drove to a park- 
ing lot. Then he went to his club on foot 
— perhaps а game of bridge would 
soothe him, 

As he walked into the noble Georgian 
hallway the porter looked at him with 
dismay and disappeared into the office. 
In a moment he reappeared, accom- 
panied by the club secretary who glared 
at Sir Swithin as though he were a filter- 
able virus. 

“Why have you come here, Montross?” 
he said coldly. 

“Why have I... But 
felt dizzy. 

“Since you are no longer a member of 
the club, I think you had better go,” 
said the secretary, and turned 

Sir Swithin found himself on the pave- 
ment outside. He felt crushed and 
abandoned and his heart was pounding 
again. Too unsure of himsclf to hail a 
cab, he walked miscrably home. The 
cook was not yet back—instead he found 
a note for him on the kitchen table when 
he went in search of her, but he could 
not bring himself to read и. When he 
got to his study he made directly for 
the whiskey decanter. 

“Only a short one,” 
hind him. 

He turned and saw the stranger, who 
looked at him with the compassion of a 
viviscctionist. “1 see Fox Fire won, 
said the stranger. “Did you get your 
bets down all right?” 

Yes,” said Sir Swithi 
Fire won—and so have you.” 
down and covered his face with hi 
hands. “I won't go through with it 
he said between his fingers. “You must 
let me off.” 

“My dear sir,” said the stranger, 
first wish was granted, was it not? So 
Jet us proceed to business.” 

No, no!” cried Sir Swithin, "1 won’ 
ой... you must cancel it! I don't want 
any more wishes, I want to go back to 
the way things were!” 

“I think things have gone 
far for that, don't ? 
stranger. “Play the man, 
Montross; at least now you 
convinced you have а soul. 

“I tell you I don’t care whether I 
have or not!” Sir Swithin said. “You 
said there'd be no strings attached—take 
back the first wish, and set me free. 

“The strings applicd to your soul, you 
know,” said the stranger, “and I shan't 


-" Sir Swithin 


aid a voice be- 


little too 
said the 

Master 
must be 


take that; but I can't very well cancel 
the past.” 

“You can, you must!” said Sir Swithin 
desperately, and, getting up, he drew his 
swollen wallet from his pocket and threw 
it on the table between them. “Take it— 
take back the money and give me back 
my Ше as it was! И was bad—it had 
little defects, I grant you, but it wasn't 
as bad as this!” 

“Well,” the stranger said with re- 
luctance. 

“Take it, I bescech you!" Sir Swithin 
pushed the wallet toward him. ‘The 
stranger stood up and shrugged, and his 
shoulders seemed like those of a bat. He 
took the wallet and shook his head, then 
without another word he walked out of 
the room. Sir Swithin heard the front 
door opcn and close, but there was no 
sound of footsteps from outside. 

“Well, here's the cash," the stranger 
was saying a few minutes later to two 
friends. “If I'd only had the capital I'd 
have done it myself—but 1 hadn't. Any- 
way, this was safer: no risk. All right 
now — one share for you,” he handed a 
packet of currency to one of the men. 
“That takes care of fixing his golf clul 
Have any trouble?" 

“Nah. I opened the locker with a 
hairpin. Tilted the heads a little—that’s 
all there was to it. Thanks.’ 

“And onc share for you, Joe. I must 
congratulate you on your ingenuity with 
the, er, servant problem. 

"Thanks, boss. The cook's visiting her 
married sister in Brixton who's going to 
turn out to not be sick, and his valet's 
sleeping it off at a friend's. 

“Poor fellow,” said the stranger ар- 
provingly, “Вей be all right tomorrow 
morning. And the remaining three shares 
I will take. Now, gentlemen,” he said, 
as the others looked up with resentment, 
“take it easy! Who thought up this 
scheme? Who wrote the notes from 
Soames and the cook? Who wrote the 
letter of insulting resignation to his 
club? Who had the idea of the indecent 
phone call to the garageman's wife—and 
in Sir Swithin's voice? Could either of 
you һауе imitated him well enough?” 
He looked at his friends, and it was 
plain they could not have. 

“Could either of you have written so 
convincingly caddish a letter to his girl? 
Absurd! And the rotten eggs and the 
spoiled cream? Clever little touches, 
those. No, my friends, I am not grasp 
ing, but 1 think I have earned my three 
shares.” He got up and looked at himself 
in the mirror appraisingly. 

“When are you going to shave off that 
lousy beard?" one of his friends said. 
“You look like hell in it.” 

“D'you know, I think ГИ kecp it,” 
the stranger said, turning this way and 
that. “I've rather grown to like it.” 


| 


УХ RECORDS 


(continued from page 46) 
greatest trombone sounds in this world, 
and the arrangements are the kind that 
will never go out of style. 

“Next, Ella Fitzgerald Sings Cole 

Porter. Actually, of course, anything by 
Ella would do the trick; she's just the 
best there is, and she never lets her style 
overpower the song. 
Then an old Columbia LP called 
The Voice. This is early Sinatra and it 
includes his recording of She's Funny 
That Way, which isn't too well known, 
and which I think for sheer tenderness 
of approach is unsurpassed. 

"Alter that, Ud like Mark Murphy 
Sings. On his ballads I think Mark is 
just another very good singer, but when 
it comes to a rhythm number he deserves 
to be recognized as one of the top talents 
of our day. You catch him doing Exactly 
Like You or Fascinatin' Rhythm and 
you'll see what I mean. 

“Lastly, any album by Erroll Garner 
is OK with me: he's the original Charles 
W. Mood when it comes to playing bal- 
lads, and of course he knows how to 
jump too. Care for a drink?” I did. 

My final candidate was a musician Гуе 
always admired as one of the most artic- 
ulate of jazzmen, Gerry Mulligan. But 
Jeru’s immediate reaction was caution. 

“IL have to give that some serious 
thought, Leonard. Mind if 1 write out 
my answer and mail it to you?” 

The next morning a fat dispatch in the 
Mulligan handwriting arrived, lengthy 
and detailed enough to show that he is 
no less loquacious on paper than in per- 
son. Gerry wrote: 

“Since being stranded in а penthouse 
is highly theoretical, my choice of гес 
ords is assembled in a similarly unrealis- 
tic way. I'm making up six 12-inch LPs 
from tunes that have already been cut 
by a whole slew of musicians, and put- 
ting them together according to my own 
whims. I commence forthwith.” 

At this point Gerry proceeded to 
squeeze every last millimeter of music 
into the allotted space, using eight tracks 
per side. The first album, first side, would 
consist of Red Nichols’ Battle Hymn of 
the Republic (“with Joe Sullivan, Adri- 
an Rollini and others I don't know but 
like"), Jelly Roll Morton's The Chant, 
Coleman Hawkins’ Body and Soul and 
Woody'n You (“the latter with Gilles- 
pie"), Georgie Auld's Co-Pilot ("also 
with Diz") and Mo-Mo, the old Billy 
Eckstine band in Blowin’ the Blues 
Away (“with Dexter Gordon and Gene 
Ammons on tenors”) and Woody Her- 
man's 1941 chestnut Three Ways to 
Smoke a Pipe. Overleaf Gerry had Shaw's 
two-part The Blues, the Gene Krupa 
band in Leave Us Leap, the 1915 Shaw 
Nuff by Gillespie and Parker. Lester 
Young's Let's Fall in Love, Parkers 
Mood by Bird, and Blues for Norman 


("a Jazz at the Phil track”) with Bird 
and Lester. 

Sprinkled through the next two discs 
were а half-dozen Ellingtons (Jack the 
Bear, Do Nothing till You Hear from 
Me, Moon Mist, Main Stem, Johnny 
Come Lately, С Jam Blues), three Benny 
Goodmans (My Old Flame, A String of 
Pearls, How Deep Is the Ocean), three 
Basies from the late 1930s (Taxi War 
Dance, Texas Shuffle, Twelfth Street 
Rag), two apiece by Harry James, Tom- 
my Dorsey and Claude Thornhill (Flash 
and Carnival: Not So Quiet Please and 
Well Си It!; Where or When and Lover 
Man), and Glenn Miller's American 
Patrol. 

Supplementing these vintage swing- 
era bigband items were the Vaughan 
and Holiday versions of Lover Man; 
Buzzy and Donna Lee by Bird; Miles 
Davis’ Godchild and Move, and five 
items by some of Gerry's own grou 
Lover Man (“Уе, again") with Lee 
Konitz; Carioca, Line for Lyons, Ballad 
and Walkin’ Shoes. 

“Then, Leonard, Pd like to include a 
couple of my favorite vocals, romantic 
style, such as Sinatra's Wee Small Hours 
or Jeri Southern's When I Fall in Love 
- .. but Id better start on my classical 
selections before I run out of sides.’ 

Gerry thereupon compiled an LP 
from Hindemith's Kleine Kammermusik, 
Stravinsky's Ebony Concerto played by 
the Woody Herman band (“And, what 
with писгоргооуе technique, there 
should still be room on this side for, 
say, Ravel's Pavane pour une Infante 
Défunte"); and Rachmaninoff's Fourth 
Piano Concerto (“I'm alraid this might 
take up the whole other side, but if we 
could squeeze in Stravinsky's Capriccio 
for Piano and Orchestra Га be very 
happy!”) 

The fifth album, on Side One, has 
Hindemith’s Mathis der Maler, backed 
by Richard Strauss’ Till Eulenspiegel. 

Lastly, reported Gerry, “I'd like Ibert’s 
Ports of Call or Stravinsky's suite from 
Petrouchka for gayer moments, and 
something of Alban Berg's, possibly his 
violin concerto, for more somber moods. 
Of course, these would more than fill 
one side of an LP, but I need the other 
for the remaining jazz things Га want.” 

And for that closing side: two Mul- 
ligan items cut at concerts in Paris and 
Los Angeles respectively (“Love Me or 
Leave Me featuring Bobby Brookmeyet 
and Red Mitchell, Blues Going Up with 
Jon Eardleys trumpet"); two Modern 
Jazz Quartets, two Brubeck Quartets, 
and Stan Getz with Brookmeyer on Have 
You Met Miss Jones? 

Yow, Leonard." Gerry concluded, “If 
you're any sort of fellow, you will in- 
clude in this fantasy an amiable listening 
companion, about 5747, 110 Ibs., 35-23-35. 
And thanks for a nice vacation. 


AIRNET 


The 
Sport Shirt 
Thot 
Breathes 


ONLY 


$750 
PPD, 


Ihe cool, breezy summer shirt that the 
would have envied. And why not? I 
luxuriont open weove is odopted from thei 
fish nets, but its distinctive styling is strictly 
our own. Woven of the best Egyptian Pima 
cotton for soft strength thot makes you feel 
like о mon ond keeps you cool and fresh on 
the hottest days. 

Available in White, Moize and Blue, Sizes: 
$, M, Е & XL Satisfoction guoronteed. 


Send check оғ money order to 


COPELAND’S 


LAKE FOREST, ILLINOIS 


HDS 


200K" 


RECORDS! 4 


ШІСІ DANISH SLACKING STOOLS | 


with bentwood 

legs and colorful 
plastic tops that are 
weather, alcohol, and 
burn resistant, Excel- 
lent for patio, den, or 
recreation room, these 
stools function as 
either tables ог chairs. 
Shipped three to a car 
ton only, in any com 
bination of red, blue, 
or white tops. 
Only $19.95 per set 
ol three, ppt. Salis 
faction guaranteed. 
Please send check or 
money order to: 


NORSKAN IMPORTS 


1718 North Wells Street e CHICAGO 14, ILLINOIS 


VØ 7 7 дф 7 EITT 


delivered by AIR 


Smartt Modern! Round balls screw onto ends of 

eys easy to get on and off. Holds up to 15 

Solid brass, silverplated German made. 

time service. Most acceptable gifts. Money 

Bach guarantee 694 ea. 3 for $2. By Зи Lig extra 
В. М. LAWRENCE & COMPANY 

244 California Street * Son Francisco 11, Colif. 


71 


PLAYBOY 


72 


PLAYBOY 
READER SERVICE 


We can tell you where 

you can buy any of the 
interesting items you see 
featured or advertised in 
PLAYBOY. Use the Index of 
Advertisers and coupon below. 


INDEX DF ADVERTISERS 


ADVERTISER PAGE 
О Air Lift Automobile Spring Controls. 9 


Campus Casual, 6 
D Champale. ..., 65 
Fifth Avenue Color 68 
Heath Hi-Fi Kits... 
D Chipp Wrap-a-Rounde 


Kings Men Toiletries. 
L'Aimant by Coty. 
NoDoz........ 
О RCA Victor Records. 
О Rek-O-Kut Turntables. 
Hiram Walker. . 


д ek 
ъло Босоо 


Check boxes above for information regard- 
ing advertisers. Use these lines for informa- 
tion about other featured merchandise. 


Your Name. 


Address. ... 
City. 


PLAYBOY READER SERVICE 
232 E. Ohio Street, Chicago 11, ПІ. 


SEND  Pravbor, 
PLAYBOY | 2 
EVERY Pu do 
MONTH x 


TO: 


name 


address 


ау zone stare 
Check one: 口 3 yrs. for 514 

D2 yrs. for 511 

D1 vr. for 36 


Mail to PLAYBOY 
232 E. Ohio Street, Chicago 11, Illinois 
076 


PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK 


BY PATRICK CHASE 


WE'VE ALWAYS SAID NIX to zipping through 
a trip abroad just to “see it all” in two 
or three weeks’ time. With air fares drop- 
ping (one line has just lopped 5100 ой its 
transatlantic flight fee, to $350 round 
trip), you can plan on going back next 
year to pick up what you missed in sheer 
mileage by restricting the scope of your 
visit. So ease off and live it up 一 in one 
or two countries at a crack, A boost in 
that direction is a slow-motion Septem- 
ber tour through Spain running nine to 
25 days at 512 to 515 а day including 
everything (even button-cute English- 
speaking girl guides). Instead of the usu- 
al day-and-a-bit in cach town, the tour 
allows up to six days in Cordoba, five in 
Seville, four in Granada, and so on. A 
lovely, leisurcly way to see a lovely 
leisurely land. 

If you can't get skiing off your mind. 
there’s still time to make it to the 
mid-August International Championship 
meet at Farellones in the Chilean Andes 
— which currently offers и blanket of 
light powder snow atop a 12-foot base, 
four lifts to haul you skyward, including 
а 7000-Гоог twin-chair cable up Colorado 
Mountain. Skiers’ accommodations start 
as low as $7 a day — for two — including 
eats. Costs at nearby Portillo are some- 
what loftier, befitting its greater Andean 
and social altitude. 

Venice will be swarming with saucer- 
eyed starlets during the August 24- 
September 7 International Film Festival. 
Most of the fun takes place at the Lido 
(book hotel space quicklike) and we can 
tell you that no one has ever devised a 
more winsome to enjoy the Queen 
of the Adriatic than by gondola at night, 


NEXT MONTH: 


complete with Verdispouting gondolier 
and a snugglesome Venetian chick. 

An early fall weekend that’s definitely 
our cup of tea (through mid-September, 
anyway) is an overnight cruise from Bos- 
ton to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia. Round 
trip fare (a scant $45) includes breakfasts 
and dinners for two days. If you tike 
your auto (round trip $75— but book 
space in advance), you might circle the 
southern end of the province. along 
the Bay of Fundy, through Evangeline 
country to Halifax and a picturesque 
sequence of quaint fishing villages and 
stunning seafood. Or follow Route 3 for 
100 miles from Yarmouth for a charming 
log-cabin weekend at White Point Beach 
Lodge (around S90, with meals for vou 
and the lady) on the Atlantic side. 

September on the Continent almost 
demands a halt in the Basque country to 
glim the startling pastime of dove net- 
ting in the narrow valley of the Pyrences 
known as Col d'Osquich. Flocks of mi- 
grating ringdoves are driven close to the 
ground by wooden discs hurled from 
the hilltops by hordes of beret-topped 
Basques. At valley's end. the birds rise 
through a row of towering trees hung 
with whopper-sized fish nets and, presto, 
show up later as the sizzling specialite de 
la maison at the Hótel du Col d'Osquich, 
perched high on the edge of the valley. 
After a belt-busting repast, you can scoot 
over to nearby Biarritz, with its fashion- 
able surf and newly rebuilt gaming casino. 

For further information, write to Play- 
boy Reader Service, 232 E. Ohio SL, 
Chicago 11, Illinois. 


HISTORY REVISITED — SOME STACKED HISTORICAL FIGURES 


THE SICK LITTLE WORLD OF JULES FEIFFER 


JOHN KEATS BLASTS DETROIT AND ITS SEX-SYMBOL CARS 


PLUS — WILLIAM IVERSEN, ROBERT BLOCH, HENRY SLESAR 


PLAYBOY'S 
PLAYBOY'S RIBALD CLASSICS 
Sophisticated stories by the 
great writers of the past smart- 
ly retold for today’s readers. $3. 


assics 


THIRD PLAYBOY ANNUAL—All the best 
Stories, cartoons, jokes and other 
‘special features from the third year 
of PLAYBOY, including more than two 


| 
THE PLAYBOY JAZZ ALL-STARS ALBUM—Al the winners of the 
First Annual Playboy Jazz Poll on two 12" LPs. The album presents 
a full history of jazz, from Dixieland ta the coo! school, with over 
an hour-and-a-half of listening pleasure, plus ten pages of notes 
with photographs, biographies and up-to-date discographies. 
Reviewers acclaim this “the best jazz album of the year.” $9. 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES— Hun- MAN 
dreds of PLAYBOY's most hilari- SP" 
ous jokes and limericks — plus a 
sprinkling of spicy cartoons. $3. 


en 
‚ча аш. 


PTTTT 


THE BEST FROM PLAYBOY and the PLAYBOY ANNUAL— 
The most entertaining stories, cartoons, articles, jokes 
and other special features from the now rare first issues 
of PLAYBOY. More than 40 pages in color. $4.50 each. 


TTTTT' 


of your ageless issues of | 


PLAYBOY BINDER—Holds twelve 


PLAYBOY. Magazine's name and 
emblem stamped in gold leaf. 53. 


—— PLAYBOY'S RIBALD CLASSICS 0 $3 

— — PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 6 $3 

—— THE BEST FROM PLAYBOY 6 $4.50 

— — PLAYBOY ANNUAL @ $4.50 

— — THIRD PLAYBOY ANNUAL 6 $4.95 

— — PLAYBOY BINDER @ $3 

— — THE PLAYBOY JAZZ ALL-STARS ALBUM @ $9 


To 

name 

address 

сау zone 

1 endlose $. in check ог money order. 


All prices include postage. Money promptly returned if you are 
not completely satisfied 


PLAYBOY BOOK DEPT. 232 E. Ohio St. Chicago 11, Illinois 


WHAT SORT OF MAN 
READS PLAYBOY ? 


MM esi 


man who is interested in beer busts, too, the rLayboy reader is very apt to include the golden brew in a fun-filled 


A you 


afternoon at the beach. Facts: According to the leading independent magazine survey, a larger percentage of rraynov families 


drink or serve beer than those receiving any other magazine. 75.2%, of all the homes where rraysoy is read treat themselves 


(Source: Starch 52nd Consumer Magazine Report. June 1957 and Starch Supple- 


and/or their guests to the good cheer of beer 
the 


Underscoring the popularity of beer and other beverages with riaynoy's audience 


ment on PLAywoy, January 1958) 
remarkable success of one mail order advertiser who sold over 27.000 “drinking team” sweaters in the first four months that 


his ad appeared in елувоу 


PLAYBOY ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT + 232 E. Ohio St, Chicago, MI 2-1000 • 720 Fifth Ave, New York, CI 5-2620