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ENTERTAINMENT FOR МЕМ OCTOBER 50 cents 


PLAYBOY 


PROVOCATIVE PHOTOS OF FILM 
STARS KIM NOVAK AND ELAINE 
STEWART © SILVERSTEIN ON 
SAFARI IN AFRICA • YOUR 
1960 JAZZ POLL BALLOT • 


2, 
te June 

TRAIG 5 "uU 
| HT BOURBON WIS 


0 


uz M 
WALKERS Ma 
ve 


8 


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will enjoy the company of this unusually urbane straight bourbon whiskey. Born 
of Hiram Walker's finest stock, schooled to a gentle maturity through |8 yea rs] 


in charred oak. No finer bourbon was ever casked. Walker's DeLuxe is the 


name; get acquainted soon! STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY ~ B YEARS OLD = 85.8 PROOF . HIRAM WALKER & SONS INC., PEORIA, ILLINOIS 


mmis MONTH, THE FUN begins on the 
cover — where you can finish the draw- 
ing of our sophisticated rabbit, if vou 
like. You'll find plenty of fun inside this 
issue, too. 

А pair of luscious Elaines soothe our 
eyes т the pages ahes n star 
Elaine Stewart, who unveils exclusively 
for rrAYBoY's photog: 
Reynolds, our amusement park Р 
mate, who is pretty close to being 

in her own right. 
hor of The Great Man, 
a Harry Cohn, adult 
terrible of Hollywood, the pugnacious 
Р alion who created love goddesses 
Hayworth and Novak. Ken Purdy takes 
us back to che hangover-tinged, reckless 
days of Prohibition in his nostalgi 
reminisce, The Alky Era. Photographer- 
twr Bern Keating discourses 
hifully on aspects of our changing 
lingo in the amusing Jounceling in the 
Derbiss. 

\ food bar that ably encompasses all 
the urban man’s cooking needs without 
relegating him to the kitchen and away 
Irom the fun is the subject of a feature 
we call, naturally enough, The Kitchen- 
less Kuchen. hion Director Robert L. 
Green delineates for us The Role of Con- 
tinental — where and why you should 
wear the smart new Italianate attire. 

Playboy Plays the Market in an ani- 
cle of that name by Carl Bakal. You've 
read a good deal about the market. re- 
cently, we trow, but we also trow you 
have never read an article as defin 


as this one, geared to both the pleasures 
and profits to be had in the market, 
with exclusive comment from such as 
Bernard Baruch. 

Fiction, this month, is in the hands of 
PLAYBOY orites. Richard Matheson 
author of The Distributor (it copped 
the annual 51000 Best Fiction Bonus 
and appears in the forthcoming The 
Permanent Playboy), offers the grim and 
Gothic No Such Thing As a Vampire. 
Matheson may well be considered an 
authority on vampires, having written 
modern classic in the genre, the novel 
1 Am Legend. T. К. Brown Ш and Her- 
bert Gold contribute charmers to the 
fiction department: T. К. Snakes in 
the Grass, Alas is by way of being a 
sequel to his popular The Sergeant and 
the Slave Girl (pLavwoy, April 1957): 


Herb's A Very Good Sidewalk Story is 
exactly that, A newcomer, Edward 
Wellen. joins the team with the short, 


dichotomous Loving Coupl: 

Shel Silverstein goes on 
issue. It's his first journey 
African jungle and, as you'll see, almost 
his last. There's а Ribald Classic, of 
course, а page of Feiller, plenty of car 
туйу and Party Jokes: and — there's 
your 1960 Jazz Ballot. Be sure to vote 
lor your favorite jazz performers of the 
year = just casting your ballot may win 
lor vou a free Playboy Jazz All-Stars 
album. Fill it in right now, why don't 
vou? Even before you begin dipping in 
to the good th this October PLAYBOY 
has on tap. 


ari in this 
into the 


MATHESON 


PURDY 


PLAYBILL 


PLAYBOY 


Fin 


& 
+ 
7 


Gifford 
star haliback 


present state 
in evolution 
ol the 

Ivy League 
uniform; 
photo by 
Tom Kelley. 


What happened to the button-down collar, the narrow tie? 
Pictured here is the new Ivy League uniform. 


Note carefully the sweater: perhaps also reread the than before. Six color combinations have been assem- 
headline and re-examine the photograph. Then walk bled: yours is surely among them. 
through any college town, including the Ivy ones, and How to make your selection? Go to your sportswear 
count the slacks and sweaters. registrar at one of the better men’s stores and ask to see 
You will find that sweaters outnumber the snug the Jantzen “bulkies”; it's that simple. Price is excep- 
three-button Madison Avenue jacket about 8 to 1 on tionally low, considering the superb workmanship and 
any campus you might name; ties and striped shirts expensive wool yarn. The cardigan is $15.95, the same 
are hidden like housemothers. sweater in a crew neck is $13.95. 
Who is responsible? Well, frankly, the sweater shown 
here. It is practically required in a complete campus " i 
wardrobe. This year, the yarn is still the same: nothing а 
but bulky wool, but the new colors are perhaps subtler ZW sportswear for sportsmen 


Jantzen Inc., Portland 8, Oregon 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


E? ADDRESS PLAYBOY MAGAZINE » 232 E. OHIO ST., CHICAGO 11, ILLINOIS 


OSCAR 
Cheers for the July rravmoy with 
Maurice Zolotow's. entertaimin article 


The Little World of Oscar Levant. The 
saga of the well-maladjusted Levant's 
nificent disregard for the gods of 
herness" is a ray of light in the 
srav-Mannel gloom of a world ах hell- 
bent on conformity as the da 
Radio City. Maurice Zolotow combines 
an Xray eye, an analytical mind, and 
sophisticated. wit in а racy style which 
has that special quality 1 enjoy 

J. ]- Seibert 

Detroit, Michi 


magi 


ers at 


Congratulations on your July issue! 1 


was again fascinated. The highlight of 
the whole issue to me wis the Oscar 
Levant aride by Maurice Zolotow. 1 


witnessed the comeback of Oscar 
right from the start over TV. Since he is 
so uninhibited, we loyal Fans of Oscar's 
have watched the ups and downs of his 
lile from а good vantage point. Some- 
thing that My, Zolotow did not men 
von, but which 1 consider interest 
was his rapid recovery from nervousness 
aher he started in television, Around 
Vom Diggin, а local 
personality boy who peddles comroverw, 
had а major operation. Oscar took over 
the show, Ме had recently returned 
from a serious bout with his problems 
md it was visible in his Гасе as he 
struggled to be funny. Without the help 
of Irwin. Berke, Duggan's producer, 1 
am sure he would never have made it. И 
wasn't long before Oscar had. complete 
confidence, and watching him today, it 
is hard to remember his struggles. Con 
sratulations in for an absorbing 
story of а fascinating personality 
Robert Montgomery 
Long Beach, California 


have 


Талес of Fast year 


1! of Levant’s, 
ж» 


Having always been a f 
1 thoroughly enjoyed Maurice Zolot 


Many articles have been written about 
Levant which only depict the bad side 
of his genius. "Those articles are pub 
lished and tend to eliminate any details 
which enhance a better. understandi 
Your article was full of compassion and 
gave me an understanding of how and 
Why this man acts as he does, 

Leonard M. Kahn 

Forest Hills, New York 


May 1 extend my congratulations to 
аш Maurice Zolotow on his article 
The Little World of Oscar Levant? Le- 
t may be а mental case but in my 
opinion he is doing what the rest of us 
are alraid to do, he is bucking society 
Here is a strong personality which 1 feel 
will be remembered for a long time. 

Paul Richard Reid 
о, North Dakota 


TEEVEE JEEBIES 

Silvernein’s Teevee Jecbies in July 

really broke me up. Let's have more! 
Bill Taylor 

Pasaden: 


California 


With his amazingly clever Tecuce Jee 
bies, Shel Silverstein has enhanced his 
already solid reputation as a true wit. I 
took the feature in to the radio sta 
tion here а few days ago and it nearly 
demobilized our announcers, who are, 
ncidentally, an impressive array of fer 
tile wits in their own right 
James A. С 
WXLW 


Indianapolis, Indiana 


Thom 


Shel Silverstein for 
hil Teevee [eebies. 1 feel it 
would make a great monthly feature 
Ronald A. Weinstein 
Portland, Oregon 


ats to 
ıs satire 


Tve been v 
sîx years. but 
or read. anyehin 


ling rr Av nov for the Last 
v all that time | haven't 


sec g that was quite as 
The Linke World of Oscar Levant n enjoyable as shrewd Shel Silverstein's 
the July issue: Teevee Jecbres. Those 16 silly-looking 
Carl Goodman snaps with the satirical captions kept me 
Lynchburg, South Carolina in stitches for at least two hours. In fact 


MY SIN 


...@ most 


provocative perfume ! 


LANVIN 


te би Fans has to ofer 


PLAYBOY 


ишити їїтїїїиїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїїї 


YOUNG MAN to become 


an international authority 


No foreign language necessary . . . must have a smattering of the new words 
in menswear or ability to pick them up quickly. Examples: continental, short 
coat, Cricketeer, cut-away, side-vent. He'll recognize this as the shape of the 
next few years . . . The Continental Urban И. He'll catch on to the idea 
of coming-up fastest by being newest. In hopsacking, tweeds. This Cricketeer 
get-ahead look in sport coats, $40 and $45; suits, mostly $60. 

Send letter of interest for stores to: 


CRICKETEER 


200 Fifth Avenue, М.Ү. 
This is appeal #10 to the Young Man Who Wants To Make $10,000 A Year Before He's 30. 


even now I'm tempted to pick up the 
magazine again to renew my laughter. I 
hadn't seriously considered. purchasir 
subscription to PLAYBOY, since Гат often 
out of town and pick it up wherever I 
am id whenever I can. But, after read- 
ing Teevee Jeebies, Vm certain that in 
the near future, you will receive my sub- 
scription request, so that 1 won't miss 
out on any morc of this witty man's work, 
Raymond A, Dvorakows! 
Buflalo, New York 


Teevee [eebies is the funniest sing! 
item to have appeared in praywoy du 
ing my two years of rea 
zine. I laughed so much Г got the hic 
coughs, May you never cease to exist. 

Jack Hayden 
Orange, California 


Ah, if only TV itself were as much fun 


as Teevee Jeebies! 


C. P. Schnei 
Dayton, Ohio 


le 


1 haven't had such belly laughs 
since — ? 

L. Е. Kinsey 

Lincoln, Minois 


I would like to compliment you on the 
Teevee Jeebies. They really were terrific 
1 was sitting alone reading them and 
found myself laughing. out loud. How 
about doing more in the next issue? 

Rod McDonald 
Shaker Heights, Ohio 
More “Teevee Jeebies" soon. 


YACHTING 
This is to compliment you on your arti- 
cle covering yachting in the July issue. 
It made most interesting 
am confident it pleased your re: 
Charles A, Dolbi 

Mountaii 


Congratulations to Stan. Rosenfeld for 
the photographs and to your stall writers 
for the excellent presentation of /nvita 
lion to Yachting. lt was accurate, factual 
and interesting! 

Frank L. Argall 
Beverly Hills, California 


HAPPINESS 

Although Meredith Willson has done 
more to contribute to the happiness of 
ukind than is usually done by onc 
man, E would like to take issue with him 
on his thesis in his July rrAvnov article, 
Happiness for Fun and Profit, that bap- 
pines: follows the removal of unhappi- 
ness, His own musical comedy, 7 
sic Man, proves this point. Eve 


И Mr. 
Hill had been cleared of fraud, there 
would not have been happiness if Marian 
the librarian had not fallen for him. 


Ernestine Grafton, Director 
State Traveling Library 
Des Moines, lowa 


REG. U. S. PAT. OFFICI 
PRICES suci Маап ON THe WEST COAST 


* Find 


personal 


SAYS 


Gregory Peck 
SOON TO BE SEEN IN 


“On the Beach” 


А STANLEY KRAMER PRODUCTION 
RELEASED THRU UNITED ARTISTS 


Which Kentucky Club blend 
did Gregory Peck select? 


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this time-honored mixture a con- 
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WHITEHALL— Especially popular with 
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different imported and domestic 
tobaccos. Easy to pack in pipe. 


our 


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Kentucky Club's 
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I did” 


^L kde 


eia edi А г 


WILLOUGHBY TAYLOR — Famous for 
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BRUSH CREEK—About the most ex- 
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DONNIFORD — A mixture on the Ei 
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Smooth and cool-burning, with a 
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Actually, the more important question is which blend best suits YOUR 
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A little Latakia and a little Perique 
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MAKERS OF BUFFERIN,* VITALIS? AND IPANA* 


BEAT PLAYMATE 

Alter looking at your Playn 
month of July, I must ask: did you say 
beatnik ox buttnik? 


"The July issue of PLaywoy was terrific. 
The poetry was tops and the Playmate 
а real sweetnik. 


Or 


alder Joseph 
do, Florida 


Your coinage beantnik to describe 
Yvette is erroneous. She's а beastnik. 

Walter Е. Magur 

Rockaway Beach, New York 


Your July Playmate photo is undoubt- 
edly the sexiest picture ever. published 
in any magazine in the world. Please, if 
you will, give us more of Yvette! 

Bob Johnson 
Chicago. Illinois 


Although you have had some mad 
tle fillies in your estimable publi 
from time to time, the сару; 
in July is the most! 

Charles C. Sords 
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvani 


You must be real squire gentlemen, 
because you sure can't tell the Beat Gen: 
on from a pretty corny publicity 
gimmick! D read your magazine every 
month and have never found anything 
in it 1 disagreed with so vehemently as 
your July Playmate. This gal is not only 
not heat, the whole story was fictitious! 
I have lived in and among the so-called 
beats, and have fancied myself one, for 
several years, Never have 1 seen а beat 
chick shed her britches . . . bra, yes. Sec 
опу, I've vet to see а beat drink wine 
out ol a glass that at one time or another 
didn't hold jelly, peanut butter or a 
candle. There was, in your triple-page 
picture, no evidence of bongo drums, 
long black stockings, the essential shark 
tooth on a chain, or many, many other 
items по beat could be complete with- 
out. You call the Unicorn and Cosmo 
Alley beat hangouts. Man, have you seen 
the prices they charge? No self-respecting 
beat could afford. an evening there, nor 
would he want to. Incidentally, 1 do dig 
your Zine, but this latest deal to 
publicize some would-be actress was more 
than I could take! ‘Scuse me for now, 
must rush to my (ugh) job... have had 
to take work to support a hi-fi, an out-of- 
work artist, and an expensive wine habit. 

Con! у 

Los Angeles, California 


Miss Yvette Vickers is the tops in 
beatniks. 

Al Roseman 

Jacksonville, North Carolina 


MIXES WELL EVERYWHERE 


Che 
Cali-nental 


IN SUEDE 
OR KID GLOVE LEATHER 


DAVID WAYNE 
co-starring in 


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Take the casual smartness of CALIFORNIAN 
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write for the name of the store nearest you featuring the 
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The COLUMBIA © RECORD CLUB 


now mokos-his exciting new membership cfr! 


ANY SIX 


OF THESE 12” 
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to 529,81 


if you join the Club now — and agree to purchase as few as 5 selections from the more than 200 to be made available during the coming 12 months 


RECORDED ENTERTAINMENT TO SUIT EVERY MUSICAL TASTE 


Classical Music - Popular Best-Sellers - Dance Music - Jazz - Broadway Shows 


FRANK SINATRA [CONCERT IN RHYTHM 
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4. Dream, Lost in 
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17. Make The Man 
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64.4 superb works 
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TTALIAN SYMPHONY 


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68. 7 waltzes in 
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28. Duchin plays 
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Showers, 13 тоге 


SEND NO MONEY — Мой coupon to receive 6 records for $3.98 je р 


COLUMBIA ( RECORD CLUB, Dept. 239-4 CiRCLE 6 | 
Тепе Номе, Indiona NUMBERS: | 
accept your offer and have circled at the right the numbers 1 25 
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ЕЕ 


PLAYBOY 


10 


THE DYNAMIC NEW DIMENSION IN SOUND 


D 


The roar of Napoleonic 
siege cannon... 


The knell of the heaviest 


tuned bell in the world... 


The true 1812 Overture! 


No one, not even Tchaikovsky himself, ever heard his 1812 Overture 
as he truly intended it to be heard, until Mercury recorded it. For ic is 
a remarkable piece, to be performed in a remarkable way 


In it, Tchaikovsky tells of the clash of French and Russian armies; of 
Napoleon's capture of Moscow; of his being driven out Бу fire—to 
start che long, disastrous retreat which was utterly со destroy the once- 
proud Grande Armée 


Tchaikovsky wrote for a complete symphony orchestra, plus a brass 
band, cannon, and church bells and he intended the church bells 
to sound like (in fact, to be) the great bells of the Kremlin, ranging 
from high-pitched chimes to the 100-ton monster that hangs in the 
tower of Ivan the Terrible. 


But it was not to be. Мос in his lifetime. Not even in Russia. Not any- 
where, until Mercury recorded the 1812 Overture with but one goal in 
view: to realize completely the music that flowed through Tchaikovsky's 
mind, but which no one had ever fully heard 


First came the incomparable high-fidelity recording, which proved to be 
the most dynamic, and by far the most demanded, record of the 1812 
Overture ever known. And now, an entirely new recording, in sterco- 
phonic sound, has becn made with the same infinite attention to 
Tchaikovsky's ideal 


Again Antal Dorati conducted the Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra and 
the University of Minnesota Brass Band. And, from the Muscum of the 
U.S. Military Academy at West Point, came a heavy French siege cannon 
cast in 1775. lt weighed 3,180 pounds, and a special Naval-type carriage 
was made of heavy oak to stand up to the full charge of black powder 


For bells, Mercury recorded the magnificent carillon at New York's 
Riverside Church, with its full range of 74 bells, including the 40,926 
pound Bourdon bell which is the largest tuned bell in the world 


The result is an incredible listening experience . . . an outstanding 
example of dynamics in sound, on Mercury records. 


1812 Festival Overture, Stereo SR 90054—Monaural MG 50054. 
Also available in two-track, four-track and cartridge tape. 


MERCURY RECORD CORPORATION 35 East Wacker Drive, Chicage 


Pete Rugolo conducts his original 
Score from the fast-paced Richard 
Ex Rub pss 
jul esis 
Captured for yeu in 12 themes. 
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MARIA MENEGHING 


The electrifying Maria Calli 

forms the tragic role of Med 

Mercury bring: thi 

the-scene re from the famed 
Scala Opera House in Milan. 

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DAVID CARROL — 


| AND MIS ORCHESTRA 
SHOW STOPPERS from 
(27. THE FABULOUS FIFTIES 


David Carroll selects the biggest 
Broadway hit t 1950. 1559. 
ear "1 is," "Wish You 
Were Here, bles, Banglesand 
Beads," in the lilting Carroll style. 
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Tm sure you have already received 
many comments on your Miss July, so 
mine will be short and sweet: a pro- 
found gas. 


Fd Dykes 
St. Louis, Missouri 


I have piloted a good ny Vickers- 
type aircraft when on special assignment 
loan to the British Government, How. 
ever, none of those fuselages compared 
with that of Miss Yvette Vickers, your 
Beat Playmate in July. 

Raymond Robert Suzor 
Torrance, California 


AND OTHER BEATNIKS 
Why are you g such 
phasis to the beatnik ideolo; 
these characters aren't. the majority of 
your reading public. So far | haven't 
эсеп any beat poetry up to the literary 
standards of rLAvnoy. The beat method 
of writing has possibilities, but the writ 
ers don't seem to be able to do anything 
with their subject matter, Poetry is sup: 
posed to sound beautiful even if the 
subject isn't, and this stuff you. printed 
in July is pure tripe. Have any of your 
beatnik poets ever succeeded on their 
ts as writers, or are they read 
se they're beat? 
Sammy Ward. 
Bangor, Michigan 


I've enjoyed your magazine for about 
three veis — and not just enjoyed, ac 
claimed it. Everything — the fiction, the 
articles, the jokes, the Playmates, even 
Dear Playboy = has been а treat. But 
the beat poetry you published in July 
was just tenible. No command of tech 
nique, no structure, no logical devel 
opment, incorrect use of words and 
grammar, utter drivel, absolute trash 

Doug George 
Minneapolis, Minnesota 


By publishing Kerouac, Ginsberg and 
Corso, you have given them a chance to 
show themselves to the general public 
that scorns and belittles without know- 
ing the whole truth. More of this would 
be appreciated and 1 hope you will con 
tinue to give these men, and others li 
them, а chance to be heard 

Neil C. Buckley 
Clearfield, Pennsylvania 


T would imagine the beat poets must 
be quite an exclusive group. Not just 
anybody can write such lousy poetry. 
Even I can't, and I'm considered, here- 
abouts, а master at producing abomi 
able 


J- A. €. Thome 
Indianapolis, Ind 


What has happened to my dearly be- 
loved magazine, the only n 
which 1 have a subscription Why this 


The Inquiring 
Photographer 


THE QUESTION 
Everyone wants “The Best of 
Everything”—but everyone differs 
as to what it is. What’s your idea of 
“The Best of Everything" ? 


WHERE ASKED 

20th Century-Fox studios, 
Hollywood, during the filming of 
Jerry Wald's production of “The 
Best Of Everything," directed by 
Jean Negulesco in CinemaScope 
and Color by De Luxe. 


THE ANSWERS 


Carolyn, just. graduated. from 
Radcliffe, played 
by Hope Lange: 
I can't answer 
that till I've 
tried everything. 
I may not wind 
up with the best, 
but ГИ sure as 
Satan have the 
most! 


Dexter, man-about town, 
played by 
Robert Evans: 


Girls! 
Is 
there 
anything 
else? 


Gregg, young actress, played 
by Suzy Parker: 
Last year I'd 
have said to be a 
part of the thea- 
tre. But now it's 
to be part of the 
producer — that. 
he'd as soon stop 
breathing as let 
me go! 


David Savage, producer, played 
by Louis Jour- 
dan: Creating 
for the theatre. 
I'd useany- 
thing, anybody, 
to stimulate my 
creative juices. 
ГИ give them 
everything in re- 
turn, short of 
myself. 


Amanda Farrow, editor, played 
by Joan Craw- 
ford: Success in 
business — the 
feeling of power 
that comes with 
it. It makes up 
for the bit I 
have to play at 
night to keep 
what I’ve got in 
the daytime. 


11 


PLAYBOY 


i pained and painful question, you ask? 
Whitey Ford says, Well, it's because of articles like: The 


LL Origins of the Beat Generation by Jack 
e a -омег r om Kerouac, June issue; or The Sound of 

" Beat by Kerouac, Corso and Ginsberg, 

. July issue. Kerouac is the character in 

of action with Mennen Bath Talc” | whom ше beatniks of the uation have 
found the fect spokesı а bum 

Cooling...drying. No more sweat-wet clothes ie dampen yourse writer writing for a lot of bums. He pre- 
1 | pared for his сайй 
by "hopping freights, hitchhiking and 

аз кшш on merchant ships" 


ribed by some of our outstand- 
ту critics as the closest thing in 
print to а marijuana jag. He and his 
adorers think of his style as being wild 
and unconventional, but to dis 
ars it sounds more like the 
hysterical vip of a frustrated virgin who 
has been unexpectedly goosed. For quite 
while now, the so-called Beat Genera 
tion has been causing almost as much 
talk as the sack dress, the sick joke and 
rock ‘n’ roll, and is just about as perma- 
i nent and important. Actually, of course, 
Mennen Bath Talc with there is no such thing as à Beat Genera- 
exclusive Permatec de- tion. There is only a scattering of goof 
odorizes . . . kills odor- balls. male and female, who cluster in 
causing bacteria, the semi-slums of San Francisco and New 
York, uttering al whimpers of pro 
Take atip from star Yankee southpaw Whitey Ford. Try Mennen Bath Talc. | rest Srl беери while belti Viel ver 
Absorbs perspiration, prevents chafing. Keeps a cool, dry distance be- | silly with drink and dope, The Blen 
tween you and your clothes. You stay shower-fresh with Mennen Bath Talc. on would, be и more accurate 

== пе for the lot. Or Deadbeatniks. What 
does the so-called Beat Generation have 
to offer? It has racked up ай amazingly 
igh record of arrests for vagraney, an 
awesome incidence of alcoholism, and 
accumulated more assorted junkies than 
the police blowers can. keep track of. It 
also boasts a poet of its very own named 
Allen Ginsberg, who is one of the chief 
ornaments of the movement 
to the unwashed things who di 
He wrote something called Howl, w 
starts out to be poetry but which, as 
title indicates, winds up sounding like 
the noise made by а dog in distress. An 
authentic creepnik. masterpiece. Think 
it over, PLAYBOY! 


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16 


EAU 
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CHANEL 


POUR MONSIEUR 


CHANEL 


would be in any beat feature. The folk 
singer (I'm one myself) is far from the 
world of the beatniks — he is definitely 
not beat. Incidentally, when are you go 
ing to give folk music some attention 
and start reviewing folk records in addi 
tion to jazz and classical? 
Gilbert Kushner 
Minneapolis, Minnesota 
The photo of Mr. Banjo was shot in 
The Cellar, in New York, You can't get 
much beater than that. Reviews of rec 
ords by Oscar Brand, Cynthia Gooding, 
Ed McCurdy and Theo Bikel have ap 
peared т past “Playboy After Hows” 
columns, and this month we review dises 
by Shoshana Damari and Ohela Halevy. 
Next month, Bikel is "On the Scene. 


ADVENTURES OF HERBERT 

1 dig this Herb Gold and The /ncredi 
ble Adventures of Dino, but Dino, whose 
year of birth is given ay 1928, says, "I'm 
97," a truly incredible adventure in 
arithmetic! 


Suzanne Eastwood 
Chateauroux, France 


What's in a name? A great deal, appa 
rently, where pLayvnoy is concerned. By 
my count (which may be inaccurate, 
since I am missing the March and April 
issues for 1957), Herbert Gold has ар 
peared in 13 of the magazine's 67 issues 
(for the mathematically aded, the 
percentage is 19.4). With the exception 
of one critical article on Beat and two 
preview-picces (The Right Kind of Pride 
Sleepers, Awake!) from a serious novel, 
Gold's output for rLaynoy has amounted 
to just so much slick, commercial trash 
scrapings from the bottom of the literary 
barrel. Self-consciously coy, deliberately 
arty, the style referred to in the April 
Playbill as "free-form horseplay" has no 
place in any literature worthy of the 
name. It cannot even be justified as en 
tertainment, since the ability to be cute, 
verbally or otherwise, more frequently 
elicits disgust than amusement. So it is 
with the “light” stories of Herbert Gold, 
vet PLAYHOY continues faithfully to print 
such nonsensical offal as The Incredible 
Idventures of Dino and the earlier 
more presumptuous yet equally unsuc 
cessful What's Become of Your Creature? 


It would seem to be the editors’ fond 
hope that Gold will soon begin another 
novel, meaty portions of which may ac 
crue. piecemeal to велувох. Meanwhile 
why not sign him on as a staff member? 
Your readers may then look forward to 
a monthly spew of literary sell-prostitu 
tion from an author who is clearly capa 
ble of much better stuff. PLAYBOY. is so 
nearly on the Gold standard already that 
the conversion would be painless. 
Bruce W. Lewis 
Bloomington, Indian 
Close your eyes as vou near page 59. 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


e've gone all out to get you some 

firsthand information on kissing. 
Our research has led us to the surprising 
conclusion. that. not. everybody is in 
favor of the pastime. Long ago, of course, 
George Meredith cried: 
last; cookery do!" But we've preferred 
to go along with the definition Edmond 
Rostand got off in Cyrano: “A kiss when 
all is said, what is И? A rosy dot placed 
on the "i of loving; ‘tis a secret told to 
the mouth instead of the car." Consult 
ing a dictionary сап be depressing: ". . . 
the anatomical juxtaposition of two 
orbicularis oris muscles. т state of 
action." And the scientists throw 
cold water on the pleasurable pursuit 
with the information that a single kiss 
can transfer as many as 47,000,000,000,- 
000,000,000 germs. Presumably it was 
this last fact that led the authorities of 
Riverside, Californ to issue а by-law 
prohibiting all kissing until the four 
lips involved had been sterilized by a 
mixture of carbolic acid and. rosewater. 
№ London airport, a kiss on the airfield 
is against the rules because small, dut 
ble goods—such us diamonds — have 
been passed from mouth to mouth dur 
ing a kiss Kissing is also illegal in 
Britain between the driver of a car and 
a passenger when the car is in motion 
This law is enforced in America too, 
and in Boston a traffic cop testified that 
a woman driving at 40 miles per hour 
kissed a male passenger for three and a 
half miles. Kissing is illegal in. Britain И 
the girl is unwilling, but the law makes 
no provision for unwilling males. Our 
favorite pro-kissing historical anecdote 
concerns а wonderful lady named Lillie 
Dickson. In 1905, she went into a gro 
tery to buy some spinach. A young 
«clerk. who found her. charms over 
powering, drew her to him and kissed 
her passionately, whereupon she fled, 


Kissing don't 


cont 


ruffled. But 10 years later, when she 
died, that young clerk received $65,000 
in her will, because, she said, he was the 
only man who ever kissed her. The 
moral of the story, perhaps, is to keep 
puckered at the spinach counter. Any 
how, for the time being at least, that's 
all we know about kissing, 


In the hip set, a great new game 
called quirling is catching on like wild. 
fire (one quirling aficionado claims he 
knows a wildfire that isn’t catching on 
as well). You'll be happy to know thi 
it requires no money, coordination, ath- 
letic ability, will to win nor expensive 
equipment, It takes по courage, self. 
sacrifice, team ellort, esprit de corps nor 
devotion to God, school or country. АП 
vou need to play is а thumb and one 
finger, a tack (quirl) and a smooth sur 
face to spin it on. The rules of thumb 
€ as simple as the equipment. You 
take the dhumbtack (the long carpet 
variety doesn't work), hold it firmly һе 
tween your thumb and finger. and spin 
it onto а smooth surface, point down- 
ward. The idea is to make your quirl 
quirl longer than your opponent's quirl 
quirls. The present championship is held 
by а Dartmouth alumnus who kept his 
quirl quirling for 72 seconds. Champion 
ship quirling requires a stop watch and 
dedicated group of contestants. Always. 
make sure your environment. is sympa 
thetic to а quirling bout before you be- 
gin. Unwary quirlers have found. them 
selves viewed with alarm, and even 
forcibly detained. Exercise care; without 
it, the quirling situation can. become 
sticky, even tacky. 


People in the District of Columbia 
get to read advertisements in thei 
newspapers that are stimulating, to say 
the feast. In its fashion section for 


ladies, the Washington Daily News, in 
the recent past, carried an ad reading 
“Open-crotch play suit with its own but- 
ton front skirt. Such comfort for an all 
day outing! Drip«lry cotton in bright 
blue or pink muted print, The squared 
off playsuit goes sightseeing, picnicking, 
playing all day because the crotch un 
snaps for your convenience." We under- 
stand that the ad. caused. quite a flap 
among its readers 


The last several issues of The Village 
Voice, read. by the Greenwich Village 
beatnik set, have featured the following 
filler, which we feel is important cnough 
to reprint in its entirety: 

(Special to The Village Voice) 

In 1938 the State of Wyoming pro 
duced one-third of à pound of dry edible 
beans for every man. woman, and child 
in the nation." 


With the thought that some of our 
readers may be interested in а post-grad- 
uate brush-up, we pass along a bulletin 


we've received: "А leading Scottish 
doctor, Mr. А. W. О. Taylor, chairman 
of the Marriage Guidance Council. in 


Edinburgh, has just asked the city's edu- 
са committee to support а scheme 
for night classes in the art of love. Dr 
Taylor wants to start an evening school 
course for youngsters between the ages 
of 16 and 20 to teach them all about the 
arts of love and marriage. At the end of 
the course diplomas will be awarded to 
successful students." Thus far, we've 
had no word as to the ure of the 
homework or the final examinatioi 


To judge by our mail, the sounds of 
commerce are taking on weird overtones 
From the West comes а small brochure. 
Its message, in full, reads: "I have some 
thing you can use. Z бай" Have ap- 


17 


PLAYBOY 


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peared in the Hollywood Bowl as soloist 
(barking) with the Los Angeles Sy 
phony Orchestra under Комешием in 
Ferde Grofé's Hudson River Suite. Have 
made recordi for dog food and other 
commercials. І bark, howl, yelp, whim- 
per, roar, w d make other assorted 
dog noises over 50 different ways and т 
14 languages! Available for: television, 
radio, motion pictures, recordings, tran- 
scriptions, attention-getting commercials, 
sound effects. Have your barking 
па on сие. 
So—speaking for the dog set — meet 
WALTER R. SCHEIBEL, Keep m unc on 
file for future use." Mr. Scheibel's ad. 
dress, of course, is Beverly Hills, Cali- 
fornia. 


In the process of appending our own 
masculine viewpoint to the columns of 
Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren 
(Dear Ann and Abby, December '58, 
Playboy After Hows, May, August '59), 
we've found ourselves more and more 
intrigued by the answers to letters that 
the ladies print under the heading сох 
DsWers аге sy 

in hundreds of newspapers 
h the Chicago Sun-Times and 
ght syndicates), they are only 
confidential to the extent that the orig 
inal letters аге not published — just the 
answers. Figuring out what these letters 
must have said has become а game 

ound thc pLaysoy offices, and опе 
which we thought we'd share with you. 
It works like so: first you read the ver 
batim “confident answers from Ann 
and Abby and, working backwards, be 
low them you'll find the letters we've 
dreamed up that might have inspired 
them. 


CONFIDENTIAL TO воо Sociable, my 
eye, Have you heard that "candy's dandy 

but liquor's quic 
DEAR ANN LANDERS: I'm a fairly attractive 
girl, and up to now I thought I knew ту 
way around. Then I met Bill. He's the 
kind of droolsome, six-foot hunk of hand- 
some that brings out all my warmer in- 
міпсіѕ, But he just can't seem to lake a 
hint. I've gone хо far as to invite him 
into my bedroom when I'm wearing 
something filmy, but all he wants to do 
is sit on the bed, eat my candy, and talk 
about world affairs. Рт at my wit's 
end. Should I give up, and just settle for 
him being sociable? BOOTSIE 


CONFIDENTIAL TO "MAG": With your kind 
of luck I recommend that you wear su: 
penders, а belt and carry two safety pins. 
Good luck! 

DEAR ABBY: J got a problem what I think 
it's unusual and 1 don't know what Lo do. 
I'm too lucky with the girls. They are 
always like attacking me. Some of them 


even go хо far as to by to take off my 


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Music for Dining 
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24. 12 pop favorites 
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MUSIC 


FOR RELAXATION s0uTH РАС!яе 


 MELACHIONO ORCHESTRA. 


1. Melachrino plays 3. Niues types, 
Autumn Leaves. Stor thethm backing. 
Dust, While We're Hallelujah, 1 Love 


ella. Her So, Vi othe 


при souno.. SD 
ow игин 


B. All-time classical 6. 
beat seller by most 
talked-abe You, 


7, Breath taking new 


selling 
dramatic TV score 


9. Operetta film 10. Lanza sings 12 $4. Miller-styled 12. New remakes of 

remake their Ital madern repertoire, their biggest hits 
12 biggest һи». In. Funiculi, Funicula; Ray McKinley. Bird- Jalousie, Skaters 
dian Love Сай, ete. Santa Lucia: Marie, land, 11 others. Waltz, Liebeuraum, 
LENA HORNE ~E 


AT THE WALDORF ASTORIA 


19. Lush, rhythmic, 20. His 12 biggest 
exotic instrumen- hits, newly remule, 
tals, Valencia, Gra. Green Eyes, Linda 
nada, Delicado. Mujer, Adios, ete. 


cuddle up e 
„a little closer 


бу чек 
| зк 
ктт 


TT. Onthe-spot ree 18. 17 зы n 

ng. Yes. in. march: ed 
eludes Day In— Day Semper Fidelis, On. 
Out plus 14 others. the Mall, On Parode. 


E 
GAITE PARISIENNE! 


2 dance-mood 
by trio plus. 
Gat y, 


28. Plush, romantic 
mood setier for a 
bachelor apartment, 
12 top standards. 


26. La MacKenrie 
2 ballads. Hey 
M Tule, Too 


Young, Moongl 


тне мно SES 
мнр west 


33. Rich baritone of 35, My Man, Young. 


the Graham Crusade. and Foolish, They 
sings sume most- Sty Mey Wonderful, 
e Yesterday, D mote 


requested м 


Please register me as a member of The nca Vicron 
mlar Album Club oad ст} me the five al 


h Û will pay $3.98 (8108 if stereo), рі 
small postage and handling charge, I agree to buy 
five other albums offered by the Club within the 
nest twelve month of which 1 will be 


38. Stan plus 40. Wacky, banjo. 42. Modern big- Dilled at the nationally advertised price: usually 
ees aM pe pote alt oor Ira Check which type of recordings you wonti REOULAR L P. С) STIREOPHONC С) 


May arrangements, 


hits and specials, 1234567 


Мате. 
IF YOU HAVE А STEREO PLAYER P EM 8 9 ло 1 12 1з 14 
Stereo versions of these 39 albums are also available 5 
ev five for $4.98 jnationally advertised. prices Guy. ГОИ, —— патче 37 а Ф140 ¥ 
total аз high as $29.90). The plan is the same аз ape 5 
иие еа по [UE и 22 аз 24 25 26 27 28 
albums you buy during the year w at the nationally 
aivertised price of $4.98, at ti $5.98. Most of the Dealer. Address. 29 30 31 32 33 34 5 
Club's new selections ond alternates are available || $ Send ra money. А bil wit be sent, bunê суп be sbipord ory to 
їп stereo versions, Check box in coupon. С ESE rari snd Corsia, Abena би Сюмин mondar are 37 38 40 42 


19 


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trousers when we are alone. So what 
should I do? MAC 


CONFIDENTIALLY — LOST FRIENDSHIP: Check 
old neighbors, old friends, relatives and 
former employers. Good luck 

DEAR ANN: I'm а pretty young girl, and 
I'm well known for my friendly disposi- 
tion. The only thing is, I just discovered 
I'm pregnant, and I haven't the faintest 
idea who did it. Do you have any sug 
Lost FRIENDSHIP 


gestions? 


CONFIDENTIALLY 10 зокт TOUCH: Of 
course you did right, but if you had to 
wait until you were asked you waited 
too long 

DEAR ANN LAxDERS: Г ат a maiden lady 
of 35. Last night, in а bar, 1 met the 
handsomest young man I e 
When the bar closed, һе walked me 
home. 1 asked him to spend the night. 
He did, and it was wonderful. This 
morning, he asked me for $10, and 1 
gave it to him, Did 1 do right? sory roven 


saw. 


CONFIDENTIALLY TO BLUNTLY SPEAKING: 
ГЇЇ speak bluntly, too. If you "can't think 
of а good reason to wait" you'd better 
read this column more carefully. "The 
tears shed by gals who learned too late 
why they should wait would float the 
Queen Mary. 

DEAR ANN: l'ue been living with a boy 
for three years now. Every time 1 suggest 
that we get married, he says there ave 
good reasons why we should wait. 1 
can’t think of а good reason to wait. 
Can you? BLUNTLY SPEAKING 


CONFIDENTIAL 10 "TOO GOOD": Т 
chaste the girl — the 
Believe what your Mama done tole vou. 
DEAR ABBY: My Mother says that if L 
want to be popular, 1 shouldn't be so 
prissy, 1 should loosen up a little and 


have some fun. But I've always believed 


more 
е she's chased, 


that the vight thing for me to do was to 
stay pure. The trouble is that, as soon as 
the people 1 go around with find out I 
don't like to fool around that way, they 
chase me out of the party, dance, or 
whatever it happens to be. What should 
1 do? TOO GOOD 


CONFIDENTIAL TO “COLLEGE GKAD": You 
remind me of amateur photography = 
exposed but underdeveloped. ‘The school 
of experience has some distinguished 
graduates, too 

DEAR anny: / am a girl who frankly went 
Though 1 was 
exposed to a lot of boys, they all seemed 
to want the same thing, and I've been 
taught that a girl should avoid that kind 
of experience. I didn't get а man. What 
should 1 do now? COLLEGE GRAD 


to college to get а man. 


That's the idea: any number can play, 
all you need is Ann and/or Abby, and 


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a 10е imagination. Confiden 
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FILMS 


ах outdoorsy and 
vish — with a 
mpshire 
streets. а hanging ог two, and horsemen 
continually galumphing around — but 
из wit that makes it well worth the 
watching. Sir Laurence Olivier as Gen- 
cral Burgoyne, who was historically the 
leader of the English troops, and Harry 
Andrews as hi ht man 
cary the British argument so well you 
almost wish the redcoats had won: Burt 
Lancaster is a man of the cloth, at first 
piously pacifistic, Tater militant, and 
Kirk Douglas does most of the j 
lor the American side. The brill 
original was written, of course, by 
George Bernard Shaw, and additional 
dialog by John Dighton and Roland 


The Devil's Disciple is 
aden as vou 


masterful techniqu 
stimulating as Bu 
who 


s 
s big 
LeGallienne is 


Janette Scott 
pretty but prurient wile 
eyes for Kirk: and Ey 
properly sourfaced as Kirk's mother, 
though she’s not the dried-up bitch Shaw 
made her out to be. Director Guy Ham- 
ihon works in a nice feel for the period 
im bis мар and Richard Rodney 
Bennett's music is properly solemn. or 
jivey as the action demands. И you Вахе 
an ear for the electric in. conversation, 
listen to Shaw. 


Ws hard to take Mickey Rooney's 
portrayal of a vicious labor leader seri 
ously in The Big Operotor, à bare-boned 
film based on а Paul Gallico могу ex- 
posing int jon of the rank and 
lile by а crooked boss, Under investi- 
gation by а Senate committee, Mickey 
seems pixiclike rather. than menacing 

cllorts to save his 


im his cornered-r 
skin, though his deeds are nefarious 
enough: one foe is ground up in a 
cement mixer; an intransigent factory 
worker (Mel Tormê) is set afire and an- 
other one (Steve Cochran) is blindfolded 
and knocked about when he volunteers 
to fink on Mickey before the committee. 
While the picture starts off with a nod 
toward authenticity—Mickey taking the 
Filth before the cameras and picket-line 
violence with a car being toppled over 
it soon develops into the cliché of the 
helpless guy with bruised guts defying 
the villains to do their worst and it ends 
belongs in 
of an old cliff-hanging seri 
Under Charles Haas’ forthright direc- 
tion, Cochran and Tormé are effective 
in their resolute roles and Ray Danton 
stands out as an assassin who enjoys his 
slimy work. Offbeat casting finds Vam- 


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pira as a solicitous housewife: Jackie 
Coogan plays а Rooney stooge. 


Clark Gable, frisky as а goat. is a play 
producer — overbearing, full of charm 
and con — in Bur Not for Me. Frotluly di 
rected by Walter Lang, it’s a somewhat 
fatuous picture whose every turn, от 
damn near. can be predicted. but which 
has occasional witty lines and funny 
scenes thought up by writer John 
Michael Hayes. What saves the picture 
from sinking under the weight of its 
own spurious urbanity are fine per 
formances by Carroll Baker 
cute secretary in love with hi 
old boss, and Lee J. Cobb a pla 
wright dedicated to integrity and 0 
sauce, The plot finds freespending 
Gable desperate to make a financial 
comeback by producing Cobbs play = 
which is about а young chick stuck on a 
much older guy. Gable’s problems in 


volve finding backers, nur Cobb 
through benders. the play 
blunting С alts and 


swapping cracks with his pesty exawvile 
(Lilli Palmer). The main joke is Gable's 
refusal to admit his age, though he takes 
geriatric pills, and, when confronted by a 
handsome young vival (Barry Сос) for 
Carroll's affections, pats his jowls invi 
ously. Have no fear. the you just 
know that cuddly Carroll will do her 
best to soften up his arteries. 


Slick as ice, often as chilling, some 
times as brittle, is Alfred Hitchcock's 
virtuoso exercise in melodiami. North by 
Northwest, Cary Grant, а Midavenuc op 
crator of seemingly unwavering aplomb 
is mistaken Tor another chap, kidnapped 
by suave spy James Mason, and cata 
pulted  cross-co a series ol 
improbable but сше 
dangers: force-t full boule of buore, 
he drunkenly drives a car on a twisty 
mountain. road: then he's strated by i 
low-flyi 
from the stone 


g plane: hangs by his ha 
aces of Mt. Rushn 

and other “hairbreadth ‘scapes iP the 
imminent deadly breach." all of which 
are по fun for him but plenty for the 
audience. ant does m 
fun, though 
ous E 


заде to have 
m а Pullman with sinu 
ie Saint in an innuendo: 
studded, heavy br makeout м 
quence refreshingly reminiscent of the 
real thing. The perilous proceedings are 
laced with humor (Grant trving to shave 
his stubble with Eva Marie's miniscule 
razor is а сийе) and the sum tot 
blithely enjoyable pastiche ol sophisti 
cation and corn — the deltest Hitchcock 
hokum in a long, long time. 


is a 


From Louis S. Peterson's Broadway 
play, he and Julius J. Epstein. have 
fashioned, in Toke о Giont Step, i touch 
ing, honest and sometimes wryly amus 


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ing movie. It’s the story of a sensitive 
Negro adolescent's sudden shocked. 
awareness that he's expected to accept 
an inferior position im society because 
of his color. Johnny Nash, playing the 
hero, the son of a stern bank teller who 
has learned to swallow his pride, is in 
turn querulous, rebellious and chagrined 
at he deems betrayal by his white 
comp who don't call for him the 
way they used to, and by his parents for 
not backing him up inst the white 
prejudice he faces. Johnny ends up in a 
Negro bar where he chums up to three 
lady patrons don me, but are you 
girls prostitutes or something?) апа 
visits the room of one of them for a 
few uncomfortable minutes. Returning 
home, wiser and broker, he's chewed out 
by his К O'Neal and 
Beah Richards), then thrust into à state 
of despair by the death of his gra 
mother (Estelle Hemsley), who 
only confidante. Ви! he rou: 
out of it bec 
the hired girl (Ruby Dee). Nash's han 
dling of а tough role is superb und 
Philip Leacock's sympathetic 
and the dialog crackles with а 
Put this one on your calendar of speci 
events. 


DINING-DRINKING 


new on-the-river drinkery, 
jail (foot of Marquette, four 
downtown), has no cover or 
minimum, and is a big, boaty “saloon 
as ownerananager Lee Schoenith calls it. 
(When dining-drinking on the terrace in 
warm weather, you may spot the owner 
zipping his hydroplane over the waves 
and kicking up а roostertail as high as 
75 feet behind him.) Whether you ar- 
rive by boat or car, you enter on ankle 
deep bar-to-bar carpeting. Little. lights 
wink seductively in a cozy extra-low ceil 
ing over the bar, On stage you'll find 
maybe Pee Wee Hunt, The Harmoni 
cats, Kirby Stone Four, Johnny Long or 
Claude Thornhill. They come and go on 
a two-week tide to the pleasure of the 
who watch 
‚ in the red- 
chaired Admiral's Club, Don Johnson 
wisecracks and. plays the organ. "here's 
a stall of 200, and the food and wine arc 
tops. Coats required. downstairs. only 
Hours 5:30 P.M. to 2 A.M. 


To enter the Cafe Continental (44 E. 
Walton), just off Chicago's Rush Street, 
you walk down a gentle slope or take an 
clevator down onc floor below street 
level. Once inside, you'll discover that 
all the elements that make up the gestalt 
of a romar c present under one 
roof. The cocktails are expertly blended: 
the service is peppy, precise and polite 


First—never keep a woman waiting 
... even for something as richly re 
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in the modern size. Second—with 
Trend, you'll discover you're smoking 
less and enjoying it more—without 
inhaling! Third—you'll go for Trend's 
mellow flavor and mild, different blend 
of 100% cigar tobaccos. Uniform to: 
bacco wrapper. Fourth—try Trend, 
today. They may not help you to under- 
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During dinner, а strolling string trio 
mingles melody with your meal. The 
wine cellar, which adjoins the dining 
room, is well stocked, and you are free 
to visit it to select your jug. The decor, 
while not particularly plush, is nonethe- 
Jess pleasant, though you might make it 
4 point to ignore the mural behind the 
bar, а garish depiction of the more 
clichéed Continental Jandmarks, exe- 
cuted, unfortunately, 


ile food (steaks, Continental a 
dishes) is quite As an un 
appetizer, try the baked clams d'A 
Among the entrees wl 
of the house, you'll find: 
tender filet of veal basted with garlic, 
butter, oregano and lemon and topped 
with anchovy strips and grated. romano 
cheese: chicken. Sicil rinated. in 
olive oil, spices, garlic. lemon and cognac 
and then broiled: and beef. piccante, 
slices of filet cooked in a wine sauce with 
capers and mushrooms. Dinners are 
served from 5 v.v. to 11 вм, daily, with 
a wide selection of à la саме dishes for 
later hours. И you plan to dine after 
7:30, best make a reservation. Plan your 
dinner to end near 9:30: that’s when the 
first show ман» in the room next door 
the Cafe's Embassy Room. The n 
we were there, festivities began with the 
tasty piano of Art Hodes, whose Dixie 
land band alternated sets with the 
room's main (апа presumably perma 
pent) attraction, Bob Scobey’s Frisco 
Band. Scobey on trumpet, Dave Black 
on drums, and Cl 
md beating his banjo, are the featured 
members of this happy sextet. Their 
performance is loud, slick and enthusi 
astie The waitresses scamper about in 
skimpy leoturds and silk net, rush your 
drinks to you and enhance the atmos 
phere. In the Embassy Room, there 
52.50 per person mi um on week 
days, 53 on weekends. Open till 4 лм 
on Saturday. 


RECORDINGS 


Anyone who remains unconvinced 
that we have living among us bizarre 
types Irom other solar systems should 
test his belief by listening to Wer Toe in a 
Hot Socket! (Mirrosonic $6002), a collec 
tion of comic grotesqueries by a female, 
of sorts, named Diller. Her 
countenance, photographically | repro. 
duced in several places on the album 
cover, suggests the fim iM 
nation (“My hair," she says, “is 
General Electric. It's nylon"). Her vocal 
equipment reproduces exactly the tones 
of a lovesick duck, and her awesome way 
with а gag is punctuated by bursts. of 
her insane laughter, A few quotations 
suggest her outré effects: “A h 


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a person who can listen to the William 
Tell Overture and not think of the Lone 
1 do it all the timc. I think of 
We sent [our child] to pro- 
gressive school. She flunked Sand Bo: 
"Lam the world's worst [cook]. In 

hands. food is a weapon. | can ev 
louse up corn flakes. T always serve it on 
the rocks." Miss Diller also occasionally 
flings herself into song, accompanied by 
the Three Flames. Most notable of these 
ditties, perhaps, is one called Just Like 
a Man, in which she laments the [act 
that her lover has left her: *. . . the day 
he went away he left the seat up. I'm 


too lonely to put it down.” 


During most of his profit-making 
hours, singer-pianist Ray Charles heads 
an earthy rhythm and blues band. Oc 
casionally, however, Charles herds his 
crew into a recording studio and leaves 
the big beat behind. Purged of the R&B 
clichés, the group can swing in the best 
down-home fashion. On — Fotheod/Ray. 
Charles Presents David Newman (Atlantic 
1304), Charles features the members of 
his band, with highlights by David 
Fathead” Newman on alto and tenor. 
Present and vigorously accounted for, 
too, are Bennie Crawford, baritone: 
Marcus Belgrave, trumpet: Edgar Willis, 
bas; and Milton. Turner, drums. 
Among the tunes steadfastly approached 
by the group are Willow Weep for Me. 
Mean to Me, Tin Tin Deo. amd several 
spel-blues-flavored. items. Charles! vi- 
brant blues piano. the. thishy horns of 
Newman and Belgrave, and the indomit 


able group spirit are something to hear 


As if to prove that Theodore Bikel 
isn't the only one who can sing Israeli 
songs, Shoshana Domori Sings Songs of Israel 
(Secco 430), and so docs another voung 
tady who calls hersell Voice of Israel: Ohelo 
Halevy (Riverside 12-836). Miss Halevy's 
voice is the lighter of the two, better 
suited to the gentler songs: Miss Damari's 
voice is big and savage. blending darkly 
with drums and rattling gourds: both 
gals belt out the flavorful, exotic tunes 
with high spirits 


Those who assert that Sonny Rollins" 
tenor solos are elaborate Morse-code mes 
sages сай support their argument with 
some of Rollins’ recorded efforts. Yet 
despite his moments of stridency and 
futile fingering, Rollins is not easily dis 
missed. Godawful in some outings and 
very very good in others, Rollins" prob. 
lem is one of maintaining я consistent 
level. Hes rather succesful through 
cight tracks of a recent. release — Sonny 
Rollins and the Contemporary Leaders (Con 
temporary 3564). probably because he 
has the superb support of Hampton 
Hawes, piano: Barney Kessel. guitar 
Leroy Vinnegar, bass: and Shelly Manne, 
drums (Vie Feldman sits in on vibes on 


HEARING 1$ 
BELIEVING... 


Warner Bros. Records means 
music for every ear. For 
example: "Sousa In Stereo" 
will flag your interest like 
nothing since stars last 
striped. George Greeley's 
“The World's Ten Greatest 
Popular Piano Concertos” 
adds depth and new direc- 
tion. “77 Sunset Strip" is one 
of the country's top albums. 
And “Kookie,” well—it's fun! 


SOUSA IN STEREO, 
HENRY MANCINI 


WORLD'S 10 GREATEST POPULAR PIANO 
CONCERTOS * GEORGE GREELEY + W/WS 1249 


77 SUNSET STRIP 
WARREN BARKER • W/WS 1269 


KOOKIE 
EDD BYRNES • W/WS 1309 
Also available monophonically. 


0 


WARNER 
BROS. 
RECORDS 


< I 4 EFREM Z'MBALIST, JR. 
© ROGER SMITH 
JAMES GARNER 


EDD "KOOKIE" BYRNES 


..UNTIL You НЕДА, 


Top TV stars Jim Garner, Efrem Zimbalist, Jr., Edd “Kookie” Byrnes and Roger Smith say it... 
you'll say it too—you ain't heard nothin’ yet, 'til you hear the marvel that is Warner Bros, Stereo. 


The difference between products, you see, is people- and Warner Bros. lavish more time in the 
technical perfection of stereo than do others. Warner Bros. Stereo recordings are privately manufactured. 
for example...and must meet the rigid test standards of the Audio Control Institute. 


We put more into the making of Warner Bros. Stereo Records... 
You get more when you hear Warner Bros. Stereo. 
Write for complete free catalog to Dept. 3016. 


the first name in sound 
WARNER BROS. RECORDS 


BURBANK, CALIFORNIA 


PLAYBOY 


28 


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one tune). The numbers tackled include 
Ive Told Ev'ry Little Star, Rocka-Bye 
Your Baby with a Dixie Melody (Rollins 
has a bri ck-the-old-tunes fetish), 
I've Found a w Baby, Alone Together 
In the Chapel in the Moonlight and 
The Song [s You. The tenor man stalks 
along skillfully, tossing in an occasional 
musical joke to bring matters down to 
carth. Between these respites, Rollins 
horn rises heatedly in ecstasy and pro 
test. A thinking man's jazz. 


If Handel's operas today seem stiff 
and some of his oratories, para 
doxically. have the theatrical savvy of 
bustling operas. One such is Judes Моссо- 
baeus (Westminster XWL 3310), par 
ticularly in this gleaming new pressing 
in which Maurice. Abravanel conducts 
the Utah Symphony, Maceabaeus (it 
means “harsmer”), the Jewish soldier 
whose triumphs are told of in the Apoc 
rypha, is а tenor hero as potent as his 
operatic fellow-warriors, Samson, Rha 
dames and Otello, but unlike them, he 
does not come to а sticky end through 
women. John McCollum projects 
sinewy Maccabaeus in this recordi 
bravely belting out the lung-busting, 
trumpet-embroidered Sound an 
Alarm, Call Forth Thy Pou'rs and Wah 
Honour Let Desert Be Crown'd. Ns his 
brother, High Priest Simon, basso Don 
Wats runs him a close second in the 
virile numbers, Arm, Arm, Ye Brave and 
The Lord Worketh Wonders. In any 
oratorio, however, the real here is the 
chorus: this one is the U of Utah's under 
David Shand, and its way with such 
choral passagi Disdainful of Danger 
See the Conqu'ring Hero Gomes and the 
closing Hallelujah! Amen! is the clinch 
ing clement that makes this an exciting, 

performance. Packaged in a 
rich white-and-gold. album, this Judas 
is something to buy now and stash away 
posh gift for а Handel buf in this 
Handel anniversary усаг. 

Like most everything else from that 
wild, whacky decade, the music of the 
Roaring Twenties is also enjoying a rous 
ing revival. Л for instance, The Mod 


most of the attempted recreations ber 

cut these days. Piano and vocals ave han 
dled niftily by Bobby Short, à. youngish 
chap currently wowing the supper club 
set; but his style on these dozen ditties 
is not his sophisticated own. The mood 
of the LP, fr jacket art on down, is 
remarkably authentic (or so an older 


crony says; we were still in three 
со d trousers near the end of the 
decade), full of all the syncopated zest 


and bittersweet nonsense that then 
abounded. There are the familiar tunes 
like Nagasaki, That's My Weakness Now 
and Don't Bring Lulu, but the ones we 


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PLAYBOY 


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KNOW-HOW 
FOR PLAYBOYS 


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ears and а yen to use them 
for stereo listening ) 


s! Now you can conquer 
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Yes, HIGH FIDELITY —first and lead 
magazine in the field—has just publis! 
its long-awaited STEREO—1960 Edition, 
the most complete guide of ils kind 
available Between the covers. of this 
practical and informative book, you'll 
get answers to your stereo questions. 


ubjects include: The fundamentals of 
hi-fi stereo... what equipment is available 
now, and what improvements can be ex- 
pected... converting from mono to 
stereo... how to place speakers... three 
good stereo systems for -$99.95... the 
year's best stereo records... how to test 
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" review of new stereo 
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how and where to install your com. 
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If there's a stereo system in your past, 
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ال س سا تا ا سا ن ee ee‏ ت ---- 


dug Ше most were lesserknown items 
like Changes: Laugh. Clown, Laugh and 
Um Cert'ny Gonna See "Bout. That. 
Bobby is backed by three different 
Dixieish combos. all of which supply 
just the proper measure of razz 
to make this one of the best fu 
come along this v The Swingers! Lambert, 
Hendricks & Ross (World Pacific 1264) 
that dazzling trio departing from Basie 
tunes and the Basie band and picking 
up on several other jazz classics. the 
likes of Birds Now's the Time 
Miles’ Four, among others. Back 
by а bevy of West Coasters, including 
Zoot Sims and Russ Freeman, Sounds 
at, doesn't и? Ws not. The discs а 
appointment, ar least compared to 
L, H & КУ previous eflorts. Jon Hen 
dricks’ lyric lines are as clever as ever and 
the group wails as wildly as belore, but 
we miss the Basie tunes and. come to 
think of it, the Basie band itscll. Swing 
Me an Old Song (Liberty 3119) is Julie 
London in pretty voice indeed, sim 
for the most part, a collection of rather 
feeble chestnuts (Comin! Through the 
Rye, After the Ball, Old Folks at Homey: 
worth the price of admission. though. 
ave Julie's silky smooth interpretations 
of Cuddle Up a Little Closer and Bill 
Bailey, We have whether. Stay 
with Me (Verve featuring Billie 
Holid | months or sev 
eval years before her death. The liner 


notes contain naught save scanty, inele 
ormation: sidemen go unlisted, 


Billie, especially on such standard Holi 
day fare as / Wished on the Moon, Do 
Nothing Vill You Hear from Me and 
Everything Happens to Ме. Somewhere 
in the background. an excellent. piano 
and trumpet wail their hearts out. Sorry 
we can't tell you who they are. 


Two new interpretations of Bec 
thoven’s Piano Concerto No. 5, the Emperor. 
able: Solomon and the 
under Menges (Victor 
M-2108), and Clifford Curzon апа the 
nna. Philharmonic under Knapperts 
busch (London CS-6019), Despite. the 
latter's advantage of stereophonic sound 
Solomon's rendering comes oll Fr better 
combining sparkle and verve in the first 
ad third. movements. with at sensi 
tivity in the second. Curzon and Knap 
pertsbusch proceed it a considerably 
slower tempo and the result is that the 
whole thing walks instead of soars; be 
sides which, Curzon's piano is full ol 
ed edges and abruptnesses. Both 
men have a long, long pedal belore they 
get in the same league with Schnabel, 
the maestro, whose tempo, by the way 
is the Fastest of the three, and whose old 
version for RGA Victor is still the best 
in the world. Apropos which, the com 
plete Beethoven Piano Concerti (Victor LCE 


Philharmonia 
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0700) played by Schnabel is still a nifty 
buy = И vou can find it — recent techni 
cal improvem ing stereo, not 
withstands 


Duke's in Bed (Verve 
I tile of a swi 


ht Eling- 


ton sidemen — which Duke hi 
not make. He did send over an ori; 
ditty of that name, thoi . and 
fluence is strongly felt in most of thc 
other numbers. Worth a special. extra 
lisen are. Ballade for Very Tired and 
Very Sad Lotus Eaters (a Billy Strayhe 
inal given a highly Ellington 
the overworked — but here 
ndled — Black and Tan Fan- 
Талу, first recorded by Ellington in 1927, 
and a solid cightminute job on Take 
the “A” Train. This tall Duke and 
Hodges, though: the sidemen-soloists get 
— and give — a ‚ among them 
Harry Carney, Jimmy Hamilton, Ray 
Nance, Quentin Jackson, € Very 
and, of course, Billy Strayhorn. 

If your shelves aren't already gro: 
ing under Porgy & Bess LPs, a note 
10 investigate а truly wild one entitled 
The Jazz Soul of Porgy & Bess (United Artists 
The hero of this 
one Wil (Оне 
tor. Irom 
big band 


Potts, an arranger 
Arlington, Virgin 


d ther capture the quintessence of 
the sor azz terms (as on И Ain't 


Necessarily So. featuring M Cohn) or 
invest them with а new and dashing 
personality (Summertime, with Harry 
Edison, M Cohn, Zoot Sims). The album 
contains so many sheets of essays and pix 
that it’s almost anticlimactic to find only 
one disc. Much credit is due to producer 
Jack Lewis and to André Previn, whose 
notes are witty and informative. but the 
min in center st Brother Bill, who 
really soured on this onc. 


One ol the best-kept secrets in jazz is 
the fact that the veteran. skinsmith [o 
Jones has intermittently been leader of 
his own group for the past couple of 
years. М Там the trio has been captured 
for LPs. both monophonically (Jo Jones 
Plus Two, Vanguard 8525) and in stereo 
(Jo Jones Tro, Everest 1023). Оп both 
sets Jo is given unusually strong pres- 
ence and in the Everest he practically 
swallows the Telefunken, In elfect both 
LPs are also solo workouts for the Mexi- 
ble modern. pianist and composer, R 
Bryant, who. with his brilliant. bas 
brother Tommy, makes this one of the 
more exciting small groups on the scene. 
Ray's Bebop Irishman is the high spot 
on Everest and his Tatum-like Spider 
Kelly's Blues stands out on V; d. 
Ihe fatter set abo has a very lengthy 
drum workout on Old Man Ri Like 


рт. 


31 


PLAYBOY 


32 


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‘There arc many wools, but only 
one Shepherd's Wool; a fabric 
with a tough, shaggy pile, yet 
so tightly woven underneath that 
it repels the most biting cold. 
People who know fabrics auto- 
matically turn to Zero King. 

The Rover Jacket (left) has a 
big, rib-knit collar that turns up 
high enough to tect your 
ears. Rib-knit cuffs and waist 
band make an effective seal. 
Warm Milium satin lining. 
About $30. 

The Inverness Coat (right) has 
а thick, wool pile lining of fire 
engine red, and spacious slash 

kets. The easy fitting Conti- 
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and jacket) free your arms for 
Sahin you want to do. About 
$50. 


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reproducing equipment, were taken ak 
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Above are four AR- mounted in the orchestra pit of Cinema Karen in Beersheba (two more 
were placed backstage), These speakers were selected for the job because of their musical 
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desired. d 

AR acoustic suspension speaker systems—the AR-l, AR-2, and AR-3—are designed primarily 
for use in the home, but are also employed extensively by professional laboratories and studios. 
They are priced from 589 to $231. 

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BOOKS 


As а member of Bi ^s bluc-blooded 
upper crust (married to the former Lady 
Rothermere), suave world-uraveler Ian 
Fleming functions by day as foreign 
manager of London's very proper Sun 
day Times = but as darkness falls, he 
turns, Hydelike. to the creation of bizarre 
adventures for James Bond, fictional 
secret service agent extraordinaire. 
Bond, or 007 to give him his olhcial 
code number, is а high-living. diamond- 
hard gentleman whose customary «d 
sex, violence and torture, libes 
spiced with the alwayslooming possibil 
ity of sudden death, In Goldfinger (Mac 
millan, 53), Bond's seventh full-length 
excursion into the lion's den, the plot 
is perhaps a shade more wildly improb: 
able than earlier efforts (Casino Royale, 
Live and Let Dic, Doctor No, etc). Yet 
a full measure of headlong 
action — which has, of recent years, 
placed the implacable Fleming on world 
bestseller lists. With a firm nucleus of 
50,000 loyal British readers, his 
an devotees increase with each 
new tide. Goldfinger, named alter its 
deadly antagonist. Auric Goldfi is 
typical Fleming if not vintage Bond 
Before evil is vanquished, operative 007 
suffers the horrors of “the pressure 
room," tackles a nightmarish Korean 
judo expert (who knows seven ways tc 
ehandedly kill а man), beds down 
ir of willing and able young 
vs а tense game of goll for 
ternational stakes, and unwillingly 
sts the nefarious Goldfinger in the 
attempted sack of Fort Knox. Fleming's 
penchant for exotic locales, superb 
cuisines, fast sports cars, super-villainous 
villains and amor amply-endowed 
women stcamrolls the reader to a Maty 
incredible c x. ver allows him scant 
time to wrestle with lo the way 
Wisely and loftily. disd the Spil- 
lane school of soggy pulp characteriza 
tion and sophomore rhetoric, Fleming's 
pages gliter with a witty intelligence 
and a descriptive thoroughness seldom 
encountered in such blatant adventure 
tales. We recommend Gold/in 
what it is: sophisticated, ton 
entertainment. par excellence. 


^r for just 
icincheek 


James Monroe Madison, the naval 
olhcer who abetted The Revolt of Mamie 
Stover, is back for another go as hero 
of William Bradford Huie's new onc 
The Americanizotion of Emily (Dutton, $3.50) 
Now a licutenantcommander, he’s in 


presents JAZZ with a real 
STEREO — 


“TV JAZZ themes 


2 


SF-8800 TV JAZZ THEMES 
Video All Stars Orohestra 
The Video All Stars Recorded in Hollywood 
led by Skip Martin in the most astounding 
modern big band recording ever produced. 
The "meat" of this album is the jazz themes 
of four top TV shows—THE THIN MAN— 
77 SUNSET STRIP—PETER GUNN— 
RICHARD DIAMOND. 


SF-10400 INTIMATE JAZZ 
The Phil Moody Quintet plays a program of 
romantic standards for "when three's а 
crowd." Among the great "jazz for two" 
readings are Body and Soul, Two Sleepy 
People and The Way You Look Tonight. 


Write for complete catalog to Department P1059, 


Why has Stereo Fidelity sold more stereo records than 
any company in the world? Your first exposure to our 
outstanding catalog at $2.98 each 12" stereo L.P, will 
tell you. This is real stereo sound by some of the greatest 
performers on the scene today, The albums are pressed 
on 10095 pure virgin vinyl. These recordings will con- 
vince you that regardless of your preference from Bach 
to Dixieland, Stereo Fidelity is producing the best 
stereo in the world at a truly sensible price. 


Avallable af better record stores everywhere. 


Each Stereo 12" long play at a sensible 


298 
dit 


Also available on Somerset monaural 
12" long play at a sensible $198 


SF-9700 SCHEHERAJAZZ 
Skip Martin Conductor 

Video All Stars Orchestra 
Hear Rimsky- Korsakov's symphonic tapes- 
try, Scheherazade, rescored by Skip Marlin 
into the swingingest, tastiest jazz program 
ever written, A full symphony orchestra 
plus the greatest driving big band ever re- 


corded. Played by hand picked, award- 
winning side men and soloists. Recorded in 
Hollywood. 


SF-5800 “101 STRINGS" 
PLAY THE BLUES 

"101 STRINGS" ORCHESTRA 
This tribute to W. C. Handy captures all the 
heart and emotional qualities of the great- 
est blues selections ever written. 


Box 45, Swarthmore, Pa. 


Somerset and Stereo Fidelity manufactured by Miller International Со., Swarthmore, Pa., U.S.A. 


33 


PLAYBOY 


34 


VOLUME 2 


dust released — 2 12" LPs featuring winners of the 
1958 PLAYBOY Jazz Ро! / 10 pages of notes, biographies, 


photographs, up-to-date discographies 


$9 


VOLUME 1 


Still a best seller — PLAYBOY's first jazz album with 

winners of the 1957 PLAYBOY Jazz Poll / 212" LPs plus10 pages 
of complete info on the winning musicians 

$9 

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PLAYBOY JAZZ/DEPT. 128 
232 East Ohio Street, Chicago 11, Illinois 


London under the command of а three- 
star admiral who's charged with ensur- WORLD FAMOUS QUALITY-BUILT 
ing British-American cooperation. This 
admiral believes that wars are won at 
night, via good steaks, good bri 
talk and bad women, all of w 
make the next day's conference: 
It's Jimmy's job to supply the women 
for all hands. With plenty of “taill, Г) 
at his disposa 
girdles, he has his pick of broads, Mostly 
he relies on ane’s Sluts," а dozen 
motorpool drivers chosen from the 
Cream of British Womanhood. ‘Typical 
is Pat, who's been 100% Americanized 
(‘She has seen the ceilings of 
rooms in the Dorchester" 
genteel Emily Barham, а 
sin" — she'll bundle for Britons but 
no Yanks need apply. So Jimmy decides 
to Americanize her. How he makes the 
scene, and how, under the pre-D-day 
stresses, sex. ripens into love, is the salt 
of Huic's tale. Tro not the 
guy to tell и, He's | reporter, 
and though the wry account of this 
sapper-club war, the sharp-focus picture 
of the Omaha landing and the scato- 
logical scuttlebutt make racy read 
the interpersonal aspects of the plot fail 
10 come alive. And though Мше pulls 
out all the stops, you're left fe that 
you've seen and heard it all before. 


from lipsticks to panty- à SUPER-MINIATURE 
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Extraordinarily warm, honest and in- 
insightful, Act One (Random House, 55) 
is the first installment of the auto- 
biography of Moss Hart, coauthor of 
such plays as You Can't. Take И with ACTUAL 
You and The Man Who Game to Din 
ner, and the director of such as My Fair 
Lady. Mr. Harts book 


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In the Hartian metaphysic, the first task LESS THAN 1-INCH DEEP 


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CONSPIRACY OF SILENCE exists on a subject of such urgency that it can, without 

extravagance, be called the most important issue of our time. 

It is the release into our atmosphere, by nuclear fission, of Strontium 90, a man- 
made radioactive element. Radioactivity is, among other things, a medically proven 
cause of leukemia, a cancer-like condition in which the marrow of the bones forms 
excessive quantities of white blood cells, with death the result — the inevitable 
result, for leukemia is incurable. 

This, you may now be saying to yourself, is an odd message to be appearing in a 
magazine dedicated, as “PLAYBOY is, to life's good things, to the joy and fun to be 
found in the world: but these good things, this joy and fun, will cease to exist if 
life itself ceases to exist. And that is precisely what may happen. 

The need for this statement springs from the curious silence of the great American 
press on the subject. The newspapers and the mass circulation magazines have 
given the matter scanty, spotty coverage, often with a heavily optimistic slant. It 
has, therefore, become the job of the specialized, smaller circulation periodicals to 
talk to their own particular audiences. Publications of intellectual stature, such as 
The Reporter and The Nation, have spoken out frequently and eloquently on the 
dangers of Strontium 90. The New Yorker has been publishing regular compilations 
of sobering facts, under the title These Precious Days. As long ago as December 
1957, readers of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science-Fiction were surprised to find 
in the lead position, taking the place of the accustomed yarn about spaceships or 
time travel, a piece of non-fiction by Dr. Isaac Asimov, Associate Professor of 
Biochemistry at Boston University School of Medicine. The chillingly ironic tide 
was I Feel It in My Bones. What Dr. Asimoy figuratively felt in his bones was 
Strontium 90. 

When a nuclear bomb is tested, in the United States or anyplace else in this 
world, Strontium 90 is released into the atmosphere. It encircles the earth. It drifts 
down to us in the form of "fallout." It penetrates our water, our soil, our milk, our 
other foods. Eventually, it penetrates our bones, and can cause leukemia. It can 
lodge in our reproductive organs causing sterility or mutations — malformed births. 
Over a year ago, in August 1958, the United Nations Report on Atomic Radiation 
stated that 25,000 to 150,000 cases of leukemia would ultimately result from bomb 
tests held up to that time. The Report could not, of course, take into account the 
world-wide tests held since that time or in the “precious days” ahead of us. And 
the insidious thing about Strontium 90 is that it does not go away. It stays right 
here with us, quietly accumulating. With every new bomb test, every new labora- 
tory fission, it accumulates, builds, its menace grows. 

Every one of us now has Strontium 90 in his body. Being adults, we will probably 
be fortunate enough to die of old age before it has accumulated to perilous propor- 
tions. Today's children may not be so lucky. They have a longer period of accumu- 
lation before them. So have your children yet unborn. It is not inconceivable that 
today's very young children will not live a full life span. АП may die before their 
time, of leukemia, possibly childless, or after having spawned grotesque mutations 
saturated with Strontium 90 from the moment of their birth. 

There is a body of scientific opinion which does not agree that Strontium 90 
is a great and immediate danger. In simple fact, no one knows with absolute cer- 
tainty just how much Strontium 90 the human body can tolerate before irrevocable 
deterioration sets in. All agree it is deadly — the difference of opinion surrounds 
only the questions How Much and How Soon. But since the big question mark 
concerns not merely the devastation of a country or countries, not merely the death 
of thousands or millions, but something far more awesome, the death of life itself — 
then surely the only rational thing to do is to stop. Stop nuclear tests until we (and 
"we" means all nations) are very sure we know what we are doing. At the present 
time, we do not know what we are doing. Those, American and otherwise, who 
are releasing an agent of possible total extinction into the air have only vague and 
conflicting ideas of the results. They are men who have lost contact with reality. 
They must be stopped. 

Alarmist talk? Yes. It is time for alarm. It is also time for action. Such action as: 
acquainting ourselves with the unpleasant but immutable facts; making sure every- 
body we know also becomes acquainted with them (at the risk of being boring, for 
the alternative risk is greater); writing to our Congressmen, demanding quick 
investigation; writing to our newspapers, demanding complete coverage. 

And doing it today, for tomorrow may be — literally — too late. Я 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL...... I 3 
DEAR Р1АҮВОҮ........................ 5 
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THE СОМТАМІМАТОК5. 
SNAKES IN THE GRASS, ALAS—fiction . . 
SVENGALI OF THE SILVER SCREEN—articlo 
THE ALKY ЕКА— по! 


38 
T, К. BROWN Ш 40 
..AL MORGAN 43 

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F 


AOS8AV'Id 


Él. voi. 6, по. 10 — october, 1959 


the unsung heroes 
of the postwar army 
were a plucky 
platoon of reptiles 


against it. You were not allowed so much as to speak to a girl on the sutet, 

It was the spring of 1945, in Bavaria, and the Germans had just sur- 
rendered. We were a medical unit running a hospital — actually a sort of rest- 
cure establishment for exhausted soldiers — on a lake about 40 miles southeast. 
of Munich. I was the duty sergeant and also the unofficial go-between with the 
natives, being the only man in the outfit who knew enough German to be 
useful; so all the problems and gripes came to me before they got any further. 

And there were plenty of gripes about this anti-girl business. Maybe the war 
was over, but the Germans were still the Enemy — and that included the 
women. Our boys were not to be contaminated by any contact with them. 
Needless to say, this was driving them crazy. A dogface would offer a cigarette 
to a willing Fräulein on the corner and right away, before he could make his 
pitch, an M.P. was on top of him with, "Move along, trooper. You know the 
rules. No fraternization.” 

It was ghastly. 

It was so ghastly, in fact, that I knew McHugh could not leave it alone. 
McHugh was our mess sergeant, a big, carelessly constructed guy with a face 
like what would happen if a sculptor started out on a gorilla and then changed 
to Fernandel at the last minute; and the main thing about him was his pure 
and gemlike hatred of the Army and its officers, which led him to evolve the 
most fantastic (and, incidentally, profitable) exercises in insubordination, And 
sure enough, one evening he showed up in the snack bar with the familiar mad 
gleam in his eye. 

“Accompany те," he commanded, “and I will let you in on my latest stroke 
of genius.” 

We left the snack bar. It was dusk of a day in May, the kind that sets the 
buds to popping, the birds to yodeling, and the hormones to careering through 
the blood stream. As we walked along the margin of the lake, McHugh embarked 
on his topic. 

“Consider this grotesque no-fraternization edict,” he declared. “It exemplifies 
the Army mentality in its fullest and most idiotic flower. Here we've won the 
goddamned war and the Army decrees that we are not to enjoy the most elemen- 
tary fruits of our victory. Clearly, our buddies need a champion, quick-witted 
and resourceful. To wit, me. Now, I have asked myself how the boys could 
best evade the sharp eyes of the M.P.s and indulge their natural instincts 
unmolested, and I have concluded that they should go out into the country to 


is WERE THE DAYS OF NO FRATERNIZATION. The Army had made a law 


SNAKES ІА THE GRASS, ALAS 


fiction ву т. к. BROWN m 


41 


PLAYBOY 


hunt snakes, under the protective wing 
of an officer. These hills are doued with 
picturesque farms and hamlets, all of 
them teeming with females —" 

“Chaplain Withers!" I exclaimed. 

“Precisely. As you know, his hobby is 
snake collecting. I've sold him on the 
idea of a series of weekly excursions — 
he's already arranged for the transpor- 
tation.” 

“Truly,” I said, "an inspired concept.” 
Without any question, the chaplain was 
the solution to the problem: a lover of 
his fellow creatures, a fountain of Chris- 
tian charity, a man of serenest good will, 
and, after a lifetime of missionary work 
among the heathen, possessed of an al- 
most saintly innocence. 

“Surely ten dollars per trip per bud- 
dy," McHugh went on, “is not too much 
to require for the privilege of partici- 
pating in this project.” 
nd the only thing wrong with it," T 
said, “is that you won't find any snakes, 
being so busy with other matters.” 

"Ah," McHugh said. We had reached 
the service entrance to the kitchen, and 
McHugh led me down a corridor to the 
door of a storeroom, which he threw 
open. In one corner I saw about 20 two- 
quart jars, with labels on them; and each 
cne contained a snake. 

“These pickled snakes," McHugh ex- 
plained, “were, until a few days ago, 
adorning the cellar of the bombed-out 
Museum of Natural History in Munich. 
It was not difficult for me, in my guise 
as a colonel of the United States Army, 
to persuade the Curator of Reptiles —" 

“Are you telling me," I asked, "that 
you impersonated an officer?" 

"A full turkey colonel of the Third 
Airborne Division, by the name of 
Jones, who signed a receipt for these 
twenty-four bottles of snakes, with which 
he hopes to instruct his troops in the 
joys of herpetology. The curator — a 
fine old geezer — was surprised and de- 
lighted to learn that the American bar- 
barians were interested in such lofty 
things. He helped me load them into the 
jeep.” McHugh surveyed his booty with 
а smile of quiet satisfaction; and sud- 
denly he started one of his ghoulish 
chuckles. It began with his knees, which 
vibrated. It worked its way up his trunk, 
in a sort of wave, involving more and 
more of his body, until finally it reached 
his face, which curdled — all the lines in 
it changing direction — and he shook up 
and down while his horrible "Huhl 
Huh! Huh!" filled the room. 

And it worked out just the way 
McHugh thought it would. He gathered 
up a group of 15 with no trouble about 
the 10-dollar fee. Two of the men were 
given snakes (well dried out in one of 
McHugh's ovens), which they secreted. 
The chaplain requisitioned two weapons 
carriers and off they went into the coun- 
try on a sunny Saturday afternoon to a 


likely spot chosen by McHugh: a dozen 
farms and a small community within a 
mile. 

‘All right, fellows,” Captain Withers 
said, full of enthusiasm, "the thing to do 
is to scatter through the woods and 
fields. Poke under fallen logs, thrash 
around in the thickets. When you scare 
out a snake, try to catch him alive, the 
way I explained to you. OK, let's gol” 

Off they went. The chaplain went off 
in one direction, beating at the under- 
brush with much spirit, and the 15 
snake-hunters went off in 15 other direc- 
tions, laden with cigarettes, candy bars 
and soap. All of them had a fine con- 
valescent light in their eye, and it was 
not long before all were improving re- 
markably in the company of young fe- 
males, offering material inducements to 
friendship, and in general accomplishing 
the purpose for which they had paid 
their sawbuck. 

When, around sundown, they straggled 
back to their transportation, they found 
the chaplain rather crestfallen. “I didn't 
find a single snake," he said to the first 
few tired but happy warriors. “Not a 
one.” 

"Neither did we," they said. "Not a 
single snake." 

“Golly, fellows,” the chaplain said, “I 
hope this hasn't been too great a disap- 
pointment for you." 

"Oh, no, sirl" they cried. "Its been 
fun! We want to try again." 

‘The chaplain was feeling happy about 
this profession of interest when the real 
clincher came through: one of the men 
came running up waving a snake in the 
air. The creature, alas, had succumbed 
to the rigors of capture; nevertheless, 
Captain Withers was overjoyed. After his 
eager inspection of it he was also aston- 
ished. “Astounding!” he exclaimed. 
“What a great addition to my collection! 
I've never seen one like it before.” 

(Hardly surprising: it was a Tas- 
manian viper, totally extinct since 1884.) 

And then another soldier burst into 
view with something т his hand. It, too, 
was a snake the chaplain was unfamiliar 
with —as it happened, a Glypholycus 
bicolor, found only in Lake Tanganyika. 
“What a day!" he cried. He was the hap- 
piest man in the ETO, 

News of the snake hunt spread 
through the hospital like a life-giving 
flame. Guys on crutches and in wheel- 
chairs experienced miraculous cures and 
wanted to go hiking. The next week 
there were 28 applicants, and the week 
after that, 46, and McHugh was getting 
wealthy. Every Saturday the trips went 
out, т a veritable motorized column: 
we had the best-fraternized sector of 
Germany and the chaplain, bless his in- 
nocent soul, had the best collection of 
anonymous snakes in the world. He put 
them in bottles on a bookshelf in his 
office, and admired them and puzzled 


over them, but he couldn't lay his hands 
on any reference books to find out what 
they were. 

“But when he finally does," I warned 
McHugh, "the party will be over, and 
you can explain to a general court mar- 
tial why you felt tempted to dress up 
like a colonel." 

And one Monday morning, aíter 
about the sixth excursion, the chaplain 
came bursting into the orderly room in 
a state of great excitement and dragped 
me over to his room to look at some: 
thing. 

He picked up a bottle. "One of the 
men found this day-before-yesterday, and 
I have just figured out what it is. Amaz 
ing!" 

E what is it?" I asked, fearing the 
worst. 

“Sergeant,” he intoned solemnly, “this 
is nothing more от less than the boom. 
slang of South Africa, the Dispholidus 
typus. I collected several of these during 
my missionary work down there. South 
Africa! Sergeant, do you realize what 
this means?" 

I knew what it meant: the end had 
come. 

"It's a major scientific breakthrough! 
It proves that in prehistoric times there 
was a land bridge between Africa ond 
Europe—otherwise how could this boom- 
slang boomsling himself — һа hal — all 
the way to Bavaria? And how it fits in 
with the Higher Criticisin! The Biblical 
Flood, you see, was the inundation of the 
Mediterranean Basin, which destroyed 
the bridge. I'm working up a trea- 
tise —" 

"Oh, I wouldn't be too hasty, sir," 1 
said, thinking fast. "If this boomslang 
has been in Bavaria since prehistoric 
times, how come he wasn't discovered 
here until last Saturday?" 

The chaplain pondered a moment, 
and who should wander in during that 
moment but Lieutenant Barnes. the 
mess officer. Now, this Lieutenant Barnes 
was a thoroughly odious character, à 
puffy Ише guy with a nasty way about 
him, who always knew all the answers 
and made like a big shot, pushing people 
around and abusing privilege. 

"Yes," the chaplain said unhappily. 
“I'm afraid you may have something 
there. But then we still have the ques- 
tion of how he ever got here." 

"Maybe," I suggested, "he escaped 
froin the Munich Zoo during a bombing 
raid and sneaked off into the country." 

"I suppose that's what happened," the 
chaplain said. 

"An enemy agent on the loose?" Lieu 
tenant Barnes asked. "What's this all 
about?" 

That was all the chaplain needed to 
set him off on a lengthy exposition, not 
only of the immediate problem but ol 
the whole history of the weekly expedi- 

(continued on page 56) 


hated, feared, obeyed — harry cohn created love goddesses rita hayworth and kim novak 


ON THE AFTERNOON Of February 27, 1958, in an ambulance headed for a hospital in Phoenix, Arizona, Harry Cohn — 
the last tycoon, the last of Hollywood's one-man studio bosses — died of a coronary thrombosis. In a town and an 
industry where fear, hatred, envy and vulgarity are sometimes raised to the level of an art form, Harry Cohn was 
the king of them all. He was, it was said, the most feared, the most hated, the most envied and the most vulgar man 
of his time. When the word of his death was circulated around the Columbia lot on Gower Street. ("Cohn's King- 
dom"), one producer who had made several successful pictures with him smiled and said, “So the sonofabitch is 
dead? It almost makes you believe in God, doesn't и?” 

A huge sound stage (Stage 12) at Columbia was turned, overnight, into a klieg-lighted Westminster Abbey. 
The walls were banked with flowers. The Art Department of the studio ran up a series of fake stained-glass windows. 
Appropriate music was piped in over a hastily installed Р.А. system. The body was embalmed and placed on view 
in the most expensive casket available, and every big name in the motion picture industry filed past to pay last 
respects. Or maybe they just wanted to see for themselves that he was really dead. 

If Harry Cohn had been able to count the house he'd have been pleased. No Queen's coronation did this kind 
of box office. 

Somehow, the man in the coffin seemed undressed without the cigar in the corner of his mouth and the riding 
crop that he always carried in his hand as his symbol of office and authority. Somehow it scemed strange not to 


SVENGALI OF THE SILVER SCREEN 


BRAC 
> 


article Ву AL MORGAN 


The pictures ot top ond bottom are of Marilyn Novak, 
young Chicago model—pretty, ambitious and unknown. 
At the right is the finished product of Horry Cohn's 
alchemy—Kim Novak, internotionally famous movie star. 


hear the string of four-letter words that made up Harry Cohn's 
normal method of communicating his ideas. The official eulogy 
was written by Clifford Odets and spoken by Danny Kaye. The 
unofficial one was spoken, it's said, by writer-producer Nunnally 
Johnson. “It just proves what Harry always claimed,” said Johnson, 
eyeing the mob scene at the funeral. “Give the people an attrac- 
tion they want to see and you'll fill the joint.” 

If Harry Cohn was hated and feared by the industry he'd been 
a part of most of his life, he won, at least, a grudging respect for 
his accomplishments. There were 45 Oscars in his office at Colum- 
bia. He had kept his organization operating when almost every 
other studio in Hollywood faced the possibility of being turned 
into a parking lot. He had created stars like Clark Gable, Jack 
Holt, Rita Hayworth, Robert Montgomery, Humphrey Bogart 
and Kim Novak. He had recognized television as, like it or not, 


part of the entertainment world, and had created the first 
separate production unit devoted to making pictures for the 
TV industry, Screen Gems. He turned out such block-busters 
as It Happened One Night, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town, The 
Jolson Story and From Here to Eternity. And, as his last 
official act, he had subdued a storm of scandal, innuendo 
and gossip that threatened to blow his latest creation, Kim 
Novak, off the pedestal of stardom he had machine-tooled 
and manufactured for her. 

Harry Cohn made his first picture in 1913, а five-reeler 
called Traffic їп Souls. It cost $5700 and returned more than 
$450,000. It taught him two lessons he never forgot: "Big 
money can be made from a small investment" and "The 
public wants sex." He was to remember those lessons more 
than 40 years later when he created Kim Novak. He acquired 


her for the small investment of $125 a week and he manu- 
factured her gold-plated, designed-for-public-consumption 
sex appeal as carefully as if he had been following a set of 
blueprints. Seven years after Traffic in Souls, with Joe 
Brandt and his brother Jack, he founded a motion picture 
company called CBC, a forerunner of Columbia Pictures, 
with a $250 investment. In 1929 the Cohns bought out 
Brandt, and Harry became the president. That was the real 
beginning of his reign. One of his most cherished possessions 
was a silver cigarette case given to him by his associates at 
Columbia. It was inscribed: “To the best President since 
Lincoln.” 

What kind of man was this Celluloid Caesar, who ran his 
studio with the ruthlessness of a dictator and screamed 
profanity at his employees, (continued on page 116) 


PLAYBOY 


"You're fired, Perkins, and you, Miss Chumly, please 
step into my office." 


nostalgia Ву КЕМ PURDY 


THE ALKY ERA 


when guzzling to get 
blotto was striking a 
blow for freedom 


PEOPLE WHO DON'T REMEMBER Prohibi- 
tion tend to think of it in terms of the 
speakeasy, This is convenient, romantic, 
and has the advantage that the movies 
have provided all of us with suitable 
mental images. What most people don't 
know is that speakeasy drinking was a 
comparatively minor part of the drink- 
ing picture. 

First off, it must be remembered that 
the 1919-1932 drinkers were earnest. 
Most of them didn't know it, but they 
drank to assert their right to untram- 
meled freedom. When red-necked John 
Nance Garner was on the loose in Wash- 
ington, he always put an invitation to a 
drink in a Prohibi spired phrase: 

егэ strike a blow for Liberty." Prohi- 
bition drinkers drank defiantly, almost 
proudly. It was no social stigma to have 
3 breath that would burn with a blue 
flame; indeed, it demonstrated that you 
were a sterling type, the right sort, one 
of the best. A lady could fall on her face 
into the soup at а banquet and not risk 
being dropped from a single invitation 
list. There was nothing wrong with get 
ting drunk. People drank to get loaded. 
That was the idea. 

They drank in spcakeasies, yes, disinal 
little dumps, most of them, deadfalls 
into which you wouldn't send your worst 
enemy today, but they glowed golden 
then with the mantle of illegitimacy. 
The furnishings might be crepe-paper- 
covered orange crates, but the wonderful 
conspiratorial sense of being banded to- 
gether against the law made up for it. 
The speakeasy was essentially a big-city 
phenomenon, and all the speaks in c 
istence couldn't have slaked the nationa 
thirst if they had tried to. People drank 
not only in speakeasies, they drank 
everywhere: in their own homes, in 
friends’ homes, in automobiles on thc 
way to friends’ homes and back from 
them, at every kind of social cvent from 
football games to christenings, and. if 
they were on the right economic level, in 
their offices. They didn't achieve the 
wonderful universal state of drunken- 
ness that marked the Americans in 
Colonial times, when the righteous New 
Englanders flooded the land with rum, 
and even ministers of the gospel were 
frequently gassed beyond recovery by 
12 o'clock noon, but they tried. 

What did they drink? They drank 
anything that didn't actually smoke as it 
was poured. There was one test: is this 


stuff alcohol? If 

it was, down the 
hatch with it, and 
hang on until the 
spasms had passed and 
you could get your jaws 

apart again. Starting at the 

top, they drank good liquor: bottled-in- 
bond, 17-year-old 100 proof bourbon. 
This was the government,stuff, available 
in drug stores under prescription. Doc- 
tors could write 50 prescriptions a month 
for a pint each. The standard fee for 
the prescription was the same as the cost 
of the whiskey at the drug store: $3. No 
patient could have more than one pint 
every 20 days, and the label usually 
rcad: "2 tbls. in water before every 
meal" The very rich made deals with 
their doctors for a book a month. The 
books would be filled out with false 
names and turned over to a friendly 
druggist in exchange for two cases of 
24 pints and two extra pints. Smart drug- 
gists who happened to be near hospitals 
bought whole books from young staff 
doctors for as much as $150 each. They'd 
fill out the prescription as they sold the 
whiskey — for $8 а pint. It was superior 
merchandise, and worth the price, if you 
had it. Most people didn't. 

As time wore on, Yankee ingenuity 
sprang into the breach, but when the 
crushing blow of Prohibition first fell, a 
thirsty man had to place his reliance on 
sources already available, and if he 
couldn't afford government-issue whiskey 
he had to settle for less. If he lived in a 
town big enough to have an Italian com- 
munity he could buy homemade wine, 
white or red, for a dollar-a quart. At first 
it was pretty good stuff, but the demand 
great, connoisscurs few, and soon 
the standard line was barcly potable, 
opaque and sharp on the tongue, А quart 
would make you stiff as a goat, to cite 
one of the expressions of the day, and 
more would make you sick. 

In German or Czech neighborhoods 
beer was available — at least they called 
it beer; it was bcer-colored and had foam 
on top. It was usually sold in 26-ounce 
ginger ale bottles, 50 cents each. You 
didn't drink the whole bottle. You left 
an inch and a half in the bottom, sedi- 
ment, mostly ycast culture. Two bottles 
would put you to slcep. 

If you drank the stuff in the house in 
which you bought it, you drank it in the 
kitchen usually, standing up if you 


weren't one 

of the three 
or four who 
could be accom- 
modated at the 

kitchen table. Some- 

times there would be a few 

little tables set up in the dining room, 
covered with red checkered tablecloths 
in imitation of the New York speakeasy. 

The "beer-flats" of the great Midwest- 
ern cities had another service: spare 
bedrooms. They were available for pri- 
vate parties, and many included the serv- 
ices of a compliant hostess. 

Once in a great while you'd find a 
place of authentic charm — once in a 
very great while, Usually it was а road- 
house. 1 remember one such in the coun- 
tryside to the north of Ithaca, N.Y., 
much favored by the few Cornell stu- 
dents who knew about it. This was a 
small farm and the genial proprietor 
made rye whiskey. It was smooth and 
good, it cost 50 cents a slug, and a dollar 
was the price for all the fresh bread and 
crumbly white goat's-milk cheese you 
wanted. The place was clean and quiet, 
there were two or three tables on a 
screened porch and you could sit there 
оп a cool spring evening, looking out 
over the rolling green hills, and get 
boiled like a gentleman. Г can still taste 
that rye: it was straw-colored, presuma- 
bly because it had been but little aged, 
апа to judge from its effect on experi 
enced drinkers, it must have run about 
100 proof. It produced a notably mild 
hangover, and was therefore considered 
to be of superior quality. 

Most whisl was pretty bad, natu- 
rally enough, since it was being made in 
cellars by ham-handed goons only just 
bright enough to know the difference 
between а pint and a quart. In the big 
cities along the East Coast, and those 
bordering the С Lakes, the “just-off- 
the-boat" myth flourished. A great deal 
of genuine stuff did come across from 
ada, of course, but it was expensive 
indeed. Labels and bottles, naturally, 
meant nothing at all. Аз one bootlegger 
emeritus told me, “If [ got any good stuff 
I drank it myself." And much of it was 
uscd as flavoring for the blended booze 
that did reach the public. 

Gin was popular because it was so easy 
t0 make. There were no mysteries about 
gin. Then as now it was made of alcohol, 

(continued on page 80) 


47 


PLAYBOY 


CLASSIC CONTINENTAL 


by Andrew Pallack, $95. 


attire By ROBERT L. GREEN 


THE ROLE Û 
ONTINENTA 


new variations 
on the italian theme 


THIS FALL, the Continental-versus-Ivy 
controversy continues to rage — but only 
in the minds of the uninformed. For 
the fact is that there is no conflict, nor 
has there ever been one. The well 
dressed men of this country will con- 
tinue to favor Ivy for all casual and most 
day-to-day wear; Continental will be a 
more formal and dressier adjunct to the 
complete urban wardrobe. Where uncer- 
tainty does exist — and this is just as 
true among tailors as it is among the 
laity — is in the area of definition: just 
what is Continental? 

In its most classic manifestation, Con- 
tinental is definitely Italianate. It is 
characterized by the concept that clothes 
should fit the body just as gloves fit the 
hand. Jackets are short, and fitted to the 
point of almost being pinch-waisted 
"The jacket skirt is deeply cut away and 
rounded from the bottom button — a 
matter of some mental discomfort to the 
man with even a suggestion of good liv- 
ing around the middle. Sleeves are 
slender and tapered, lapels (about which 
more in a moment) are narrow. "Trou 
sers, too, are extremely narrow, tapered 
almost to snugness and detailed to show 
off slim-waistedness: front slash pockets 
rather than side pockets, often no back 
pockets at all, pleatless, cuffless. It is at 
the shoulders that the glove-fit dictum is 
abandoned; in the classic Continental 
there is a sufficient degree of padding to 

(continued on page 105) 


MODIFIED CONTINENTAL 


by Daroff, “Botany” 500, $65. 


AMERICAN CONTINENTAL 


by Baker, $150. 


PLAYBOY 


"Personally, I don't think you'll need a neck strap!” 


^ 


aS 


NO SUCH THING AS A VAMPIRE 


fiction By RICHARD MATHESON 


IN THE EARLY AUTUMN, Madame Alexis Gheria 
awoke one morning to a sense of utmost torpor. 
For more than a minute, she lay inertly on her 
back, her dark eyes staring upward. How wasted 
she felt. It seemed as if her limbs were sheathed in 
lead. Perhaps she was ill. Petre must examine her 
and see, 

Drawing in a faint breath, she pressed up 
slowly on an elbow. As she did, her nightdress slid, 
rustling, to her waist. How had it come unfastened? 
she wondered, looking down at herself. 

Quite suddenly, Madame Gheria began to scream. 

In the breakfast room, Dr. Petre Gheria looked 
up, startled, from his morning paper. In an instant, 
he had pushed his chair back, slung his napkin on 
the table and was rushing for the hallway. He 
dashed across its carpeted breadth and mounted 
the staircase two steps at a time. 

It was a near hysterical Madame Gheria he 
found sitting on the edge of her bed looking down 
in horror at her breasts. Across the dilated white- 
ness of them, a smear of blood lay drying. 

Dr. Gheria dismissed the upstairs maid who stood 
frozen in the open doorway, gaping at her mistress. 
He locked the door and hurried to his wife. 

“Petre!” she gasped. 

“Gently.” He helped her lie back across the 
blood-stained pillow. 

"Petre, what is it?" she begged. 

“Lie still, my dear.” His practiced hands moved 
in swift search over her breasts. Suddenly, his 
breath choked off. Pressing aside her head, he 
stared down dumbly at the pinprick lancinations 
on her neck, the ribbon of tacky blood that twisted 
downward from them. 

"My throat," Alexis said. 

"No, it's just a —" Dr. Gheria did not com- 
plete the sentence. He knew exactly what it was. 


Madame Gheria began to tremble. "Oh, my God, 
my God," she said. 

Dr. Gheria rose and foundered to the wash basin. 
Pouring in water, he returned to his wife and 
washed away the blood. The wound was clearly 
visible now —two tiny punctures close to the 
jugular. A grimacing Dr. Gheria touched the 
mounds of inflamed tissue in which they lay. As 
he did, his wife groaned terribly and turned her 
face away. 

"Now listen to me," he said, his voice appar- 
ently calm. "We will not succumb, immediately, 
to superstition, do you hear? There are any num- 
ber of —" 

"I'm going to die," she said. 

"Alexis, do you hear me?" He caught her harshly 
by the shoulders. 

She turned her head and stared at him with 
vacant eyes. "You know what it is," she said. 

Dr. Gheria swallowed. He could still taste coffee 
in his mouth. 

“I know what it appears to be," he said, "and 
we shall — not ignore the possibility. However — " 

"I'm going to die," she said. 

“Alexis!” Dr. Gheria took her hand and gripped 
it fiercely. “You shall not be taken from me," he 
said. 


Solta was a village of some thousand inhabitants 
situated in the foothills of Romania's Bihor Moun- 
tains. It was a place of dark traditions. People, 
hearing the bay of distant wolves, would cross them- 
selves without a thought. Children would gather gar- 
lic buds as other children gather flowers, bringing 
them home for the windows. On every door there 
was a painted cross, at every throat a metal one. 
Dread of the vampire's blighting was as normal as 


what breed of horror was this which could not be impeded? 


51 


PLAYBOY 


52 


the dread of fatal sickness. It was always 
in the air. 

Dr. Gheria thought about that as he 
bolted shut the windows of Alexis" 
room. Far ой, molten twilight hung 
above the mountains. Soon it would be 
dark again. Soon the citizens of Solta 
would be barricaded in their garlic-reek- 
ing houses. He had no doubt that every 
soul of them knew exactly what had 
happened to his wife. Already the cook 
and upstairs maid were pleading for dis- 
charge. Only the inflexible discipline of 
the butler, Karel, kept them at their 
jobs. Soon, even that would not suffice. 
Before the horror of the vampire, rea- 
son fied, 

He'd seen the evidence of it that very 
morning when he'd ordered Madame's 
room stripped to the walls and searched 
for rodents or venomous insects. The 
servants had moved about the room as 
if on a floor of eggs, their eyes more 
white than pupil, their fingers twitching 
constantly to their crosses. They had 
known full well no rodents or insects 
would be found. And Gheria had known 
it. Still, he'd raged at them for their 
timidity, succeeding only in frightening 
them further. 

He turned from the window with a 
smile. 

“There now,” he said, “nothing alive 
will enter this room tonight.” 

He caught himself immediately, seeing 
the flare of terror in her eyes. 

"Nothing at all will enter" he 
amended. 

Alexis lay motionless on her bed, one 
pale hand at her breast, clutching at the 
worn silver cross she'd taken from her 
jewel box. She hadn't worn it since he'd 
given her the diamond.studded one when 
they were married. How typical of her 
village background that, in this moment 
of dread, she should seek protection 
from the unadorned cross of her church. 
She was such a child. Gheria smiled 
down gently at her. 

"You won't be needing that, my dear," 
he said, "you'll be safe tonight." 

Her fingers tightened on the crucifix. 

“No, no, wear it if you will," he said. 
“Г only meant that I'll be at your side 
all night." 

"You'll stay with me?" 

He sat on the bed and held her hand. 

"Do you think I'd leave you for a 
moment?" he said. 

Thirty minutes later, she was slecping. 
Dr. Gheria drew a chair beside the bed 
and seated himself. Removing his glasses, 
he massaged the bridge of his nose with 
the thumb and forefinger of his left 
hand. Then, sighing, he began to watch 
his wife. How incredibly beautiful she 
was. Dr. Cheria's breath grew strained. 

“There is no such thing as a vampire," 
he whispered to himself. 


"There was a distant pounding. Dr. 


Свена muttered in his sleep, his fingers 
twitching. The pounding increased; an 
agitated voice came swirling from the 
darkness. “Doctor!” it called. 

Gheria snapped awake. For a moment, 
he looked confusedly toward the locked 
door. 

"Dr. Свена?" demanded Karel. 

"What?" 

"Is everything all right?” 

“Yes, everything is — " 

Dr. Gheria cried out hoarsely, spring- 
ing for the bed. Alexis' nightdress had 
been torn away again. A hideous dew of 
blood covered her chest and neck. 

Karel shook his head. 

"Bolted windows cannot hold away 
the creature, sir," he said. 

He stood, tall and lean, beside the 
kitchen table on which lay the cluster 
of silver he'd been polishing when 
Gheria had entered. 

“The creature has the power to make 
of itself a vapor which can pass through 
any opening however small," he said. 

"But the cross!" cried Gheria. “It was 
still at her throat — untouched! Except 
by — blood," he added in a sickened 
voice. 

"This I cannot understand," said 
Karel, grimly. “The cross should have 
protected her." 

"But why did I see nothing?" 

"You were drugged by its mephitic 
presence," Karel said. "Count yourself 
fortunate that you were not, also, at- 
tacked.” 

“I do not count myself fortunate!” 
Dr. Gheria struck his palm, a look of 
anguish on his face. "What am I to do, 
Karel?" he asked. 

"Hang garlic,” said the old man. 
"Hang it at the windows, at the doors. 
Let there be no opening unblocked by 
garlic." 

Gheria nodded distractedly, “Never in 
my life have I seen this thing,” he said, 
brokenly. "Now, my own wife. . .” 

“I have seen it," said Karel. "] have, 
myself, put to its rest one of these mon- 
sters from the grave." 

“The stake — ?" Свена looked re- 
volted. 

The old man nodded slowly. 

Свена swallowed. "Pray God you may 
put this one to rest as well,” he said. 


“Petre?” 

She was weaker now, her voice a tone- 
Jess murmur. Gheria bent over her. 
“Yes, my dear," he said. 

"It will come again tonight," she said. 

"No." He shook his head deter- 
minedly. "It cannot come. The garlic 
will repel it." 

"My cross didn't" she said, “you 
didn’t.” 

“The garlic will,” he said. "And see?" 
He pointed at the bedside table. “I've 


had black coffee brought for me. I won't 
sleep tonight.” 

She closed her eyes, a look of pain 
across her sallow features. 

“1 don't want to die,” she said. “Please 
don't let me die, Petre. 

“You won't,” he said, "I promise you; 
the monster shall be destroyed." 

Alexis shuddered feebly. "But if there 
is no way, Petre," she murmured. 

""There is always a way," he answered. 

Outside, the darkness, cold and heavy, 
pressed around the house. Dr. Gheria 
took his place beside the bed and began 
to wait. Within the hour, Alexis slipped 
into a heavy slumber. Gently, Dr. Gheria 
released her hand and poured himself a 
cup of steaming coffee. As he sipped it, 
hotly bitter, he looked around the room. 
Door locked, windows bolted, every 
opening sealed with garlic, the cross at 
Alexis' throat. He nodded slowly to 
himself. It will work, he thought. The 
monster would be thwarted. 

He sat there, waiting, listening to his 
breath. 

Dr. Gheria was at the door before the 
second knock. 

"Michael!" He embraced the younger 
man. "Dear Michael, I was sure you'd 
соте!" 

Anxiously, he ushered Dr. Vares to- 
ward his study. Outside, darkness was 
just. falling. 

"Where on earth are all the people of 
the village?" asked Vares, "I swear I 
didn't see a soul as I rode in." 

"Huddling, terrorstricken, in their 
houses," Gheria said, "and all my serv- 
ants with them save for one." 

"Who is that?" 

"My butler, Karel," Gheria answered. 
“He didn't answer the door because he's 
sleeping. Poor fellow, he {5 very old and 
has been doing the work of five." He 
gripped Vares' arm. "Dear Michael," he 
said, "you have no idea how glad 1 am 
to see you." 

Vares looked at him worriedly. "I 
came as soon as | received your message," 
he said. 

"And 1 appreciate it," Gheria said. "I 
know how long and hard a ride it is from 
Cluj." 

"What's wrong?" asked Vares, "Your 
letter only said —" 

Quickly, Gheria told him what had 
happened in the past week. 

“I tell you, Michael, I stumble at the 
brink of madness," he said. "Nothing 
works! Garlic, wolfsbane, crosses, mirrors, 
running water — useless! No, don't say 
it! This isn't superstition nor imagina- 
tion! This is happening! A vampire is 
destroying herl Each day she sinks yet 
deeper into that— deadly torpor from 
which —” 

Gheria clenched his hands. "And yet 
I cannot understand it," he muttered, 

(continued on page 100) 


‘The three famished people seen here are about 
I 4 i EN LE K | H E to assuage their appetites in style. Perhaps 
they're just out of the theatre, having barely 


modern living 


made an 8:30 curtain from a cocktail party where drinks seemed more important 
than cold canapés. Perhaps they had an early and hence light dinner before the 
show. In any case, they're hungry and have decided to go to the apartment of the 
lucky owner of a kitchenless kitchen for a midnight feast, some music and a relaxed 
good time, rather than fight the after-theatre crowds in a noisy restaurant. Now 
they're putting together a kingly collation in anticipation of later arrivals — who 
are probably driving round and round the block, looking for a place to park. 
Whatever the circumstances, the kitchenless kitchen makes snacking or feasting a 
cinch and a treat. This handsome hunk of furniture, designed by PLAYBOY, dis- 
penses with a kitchen as such entirely; it renders the proverbial hot stove unneces- 
sary; it has no use for the usual collection of pots, pans, skillets, oven and other 
customary kitchen gear. A seven-footlong peninsula in the room, it looks like a 


playboy designs a fabulous food bar for informal dining 


Above: closed, the unit shows a cleon expanse of 


motch rain wolnut formico. Pedestal end abuts 
woll for electric ond plumbing connections, houses 
refrigerator. Below: stop-action photo shows how 
lid swings to form dining surface with ample leg room 
beneath, short panel draps ta form cutting-boord* 


walnut storage chest or hi-fi cabinet when 
closed. Opened, it presents two gleaming 
formica surfaces. The higher one, at which 
the girls are sitting on rattan-backed stools, 
is a dining bar amply large for four and as 
wide as many a dining table. The lower, 
working-height surface, at which the host is 
presiding, sports full-length continuous cove 
lighting, a continuous electric plug-in strip, 
Monel sink with built-in garbage disposer, 
and a drop-down maple cutting board. In 
storage cupboards beneath are a four-cubic- 
foot Kelvinator ($219.95) and roll-out shelves 
on which live the appliances that make the 
whole thing possible: automatic electric 
cooking utensils, each with its own heating 
element and thermostatic control or timer. 

Consider the (concluded on page 108) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVE CUNNINGHAM, FELDKAMP-MALLOY 


From the left: Forberwore's Immersible dutch oven 
triples os о stew pot, steamer ond deep fryer, $27.95. 
Toastmaster toaster Is o lozy man's dream: welght 
of bread lowers it ond storts the toosting by Itself, 
$29.95. Westinghouse stout, spoutless coffeemaker 
Is o cinch to clean, $17.95. Foreground: Knopp- 
Monarch's automatic waffle Iron hos removable plates 


fo convert It Into с four-sondwich grill, $29.95. 


Below: PLAYBOY's fabulous food bor, 


Foil og Hel Nesco's rotisserle-oven № big enough to hold а 20- « 
а а bise ef Rod Con pound roast, $79.95. The pot part of Knapp-Monarch's 

Hrs kc baing breoght to. perfection "Chefster" lifts from automatic electric base, may be \ 
in a С.Е rotisserie with electric spit used for stewing, steaming—or popping corn, $24.95. 

and push-button controls ($89.95) " 


and, to Из right, tomotoes and pep- 
pers are grilling on а Westinghouse 
immersible griddle ($19.95). Behind 
it is G.E.'s combination toaster and 
oven ($31.95); although you can't 
166 them, biscuits are browning in its 
oven drawer. Right of that is Nesco's 
deep-fot fryer ($24.95) on which 
the right temperature for the golden 
french fries can be set on о diol. 
Prelude to the meal is o frozen dal- 
quiri spun to perfection in Dormeyer's 


(1) 
jm j 


Left: automatic vocuum-method coffee- 


3-speed push-button blender ($45) maker, adjustable for strength of brew, two 
ond, о! the other end of the dining to 10 cups, by Knopp-Monarch, $29.95. 
surfoce, the jova № kept hot In Right: а world-of-the-future English Import, 
Forberware's 12-cup coffeemaker the infra-red Magicook broils a steak in one 
($29.95). On the roll-out storage % minute, crisp bacon In 20 seconds, calves" 
shelves ore, top row: Sunbeam liver in 40 seconds. From VL&A, $97.50. 


scucepon ($17.95) end Westing- 

house buffet pan ($16.95). Bottom Ф 
row: Knopp-Monarch grill ($27) ond x 
Forberware utility cooker ($23.95). 


PLAYBOY 


56 


SNAKES IN THE GRASS (continued тот page 62) 


tions. He drew the lieutenant over to 
the shelf and showed him with pride the 
fruits of the men's efforts in the field. 
The lieutenant went from jar to jar, 
peering carefully at the inhabitant of 
each, and I could see on his face the sus- 
picion that was forming in his dismal 
brain. 

"Captain," he said, "doesn't it strike 
you as remarkable that all these speci- 
mens are different? That they never 
catch the same snake twice?" 

"Well now," the chaplain said, "that 
is remarkable. 1 never thought of that. 
Upon my word, how extraordinary, 
when you think about it.” 

"And you can't identify any of them?" 

“I thought I was a pretty good snake 
man," the chaplain said with a happy 
chortle, "but these have me stumped — 
all except the boomslang. "That's what 
makes this thing so terribly exciting.” 

Lieutenant Barnes said, “And another 
thing — don't these snakes look a bit old 
and beat up to you? They look pretty 
gray and soggy to me — like they'd spent 
a lot of time in formaldehyde." 

The chaplain was beginning to look 
puzzled. He was too sweet-spirited a man 
to be able to suspect that somebody had 
pulled a fast one on him, and this left 
him with a lot of questions, all of a sud- 
den, that he couldn't answer. Lieutenant 
Barnes drew himself up with a trium- 
phant smirk. "Captain, if I may make a 
suggestion, next Saturday, when your 
snake-hunters come back with strange 
and exotic snakes, you just smell those 
snakes. Just smell them." And, with a 
fine sense of the dramatic curtain line, 
the cocky little bugger strutted out of 
the room — so bedazzled by his histrion- 
ics that he forgot I was listening. 

“Now what in the world could he 
mean by that?" the chaplain asked me. 
"Surely he knows that snakes are odor- 
less." 

"He thinks they smell fishy," I said, 
and got out of there as fast as I could in 
search of McHugh. “The game is up," I 
told him; and, as I gave him a rundown 
on Barnes' detective work, his face took 
on the awful aspect of the enraged of- 
ficer-hater lusting for the kill. 

"Why, that slob! 111 crucify him!” He 
gnawed his nether lip for a while, as his 
features gradually turned back from 
Hyde to Jekyll, and then shifted around 
to Dagwood As Fiend. He went through 
his entire “Huh! Huh!" routine. “To- 
morrow or the day after,” he said, “there 
will pass through your hands, in the ii 
coming mail, a letter for the chaplain. 
It will be in German and he will ask you 
to translate it. Your job is to translate it 
in a loud voice while Barnes is within 
earshot." He would tell me no more, 
having a taste for the mysterious and 
flamboyant. 


"The letter arrived the next afternoon, 
all right, looking authentically German, 
but it was not until the following Mon- 
day that the opportunity arose to make 
use of it. That morning Lieutenant 
Barnes was in the orderly room when the 
chaplain toddled in for his regular morn- 
ing yak session. "Good morning, fel- 
lows," he said. 

"Good morning, Captain," Barnes 
said. "I hear you didn't find any snakes 
on your trip last Saturday." 

“That's true, by jiminy," the chaplain 
said. "For the first time, nobody caught 
a thing." 

"Caught?" Barnes hooted. "Do you 
still think those men are catching those 
snakes? Captain, don't you realize —" 

"Excuse me, Lieutenant," I inter- 
rupted, practically shouting, "but I have 
something urgent here for Captain With- 
ers.” I took the letter out of the drawer. 
"Sir, I believe this must be for you. It's 
addressed to the offier in charge of 
morals at the hospital." 

"Morals?" the chaplain said. "Upon 
шу word. That must mean me, I guess. 
What's it say?" 

"Oh, I haven't opened it, sir," I said. 
chaplain tore it open and looked 
I'm afraid my German isn't up to 
he said. "Sergeant, would you be 
50 good as to translate?" 

1 took the letter and cleared my throat. 
"'Most Highly Respected American 
Officer," I read. "'An unprotected 
and helpless girl implores you to help 
her identify the heartless villain who 
has abused her innocence and has 
made her an about-to-be mother. I have 
not told him of my condition, for fear 
that he will run away and not marry 
me.'" 

“What?" Lieutenant Barnes inter- 
rupted. "Some soldier has got a girl into 
trouble?" 

"It seems so," I said, and continued: 
"But I will describe him to you so that 
you can identify him and keep him from 
escaping. Every Wednesday and Sunday 
he drives up to our place in a jeep. He is 
about one meter seventy tall, blond, 
with a little mustache —' " 

"Drives up in a jeep, you say?" the 
chaplain broke in. "Well, it shouldn't 
be too hard to find out who the man is. 
Somebody in the motor pool, I imagine. 
Wouldn't the trip tickets show it?” 

I was watching Barnes from the corner 
of my eye and was pleased to note that 
his healthy pink had fled. “Jeep?” he 
croaked. "Wednesday and Sunday?" He 
got himself under control. "Captain 
Withers, I think 1 can handle this. Let 
me look into the matter." 

“I wish you would," the chaplain said. 
"How distressing.” 

That evening 1 told McHugh of 
Barnes’ gratifying reaction and asked 


him to explain it. 

"Simple and predictable," he said. 
“The lieutenant assumed that the letter, 
of which I was the author, referred to 
him." 

"Has the lieutenant been dallying 
with indigenous personnel, female?" 

"Twice a week for the past month," 
McHugh said, "Barnes has made me drive 
him out into the country to pick up a 
quantity of locally manufactured Brannt- 
wein, or brandy, for the stupefaction of 
our estimable officers.” 

“Preposterous,” I interjected. "Мс 
Hugh, you are lying to me again. Every- 
body knows we aren't allowed to get any- 
thing from the Germans. Anything. No 
food, no souvenirs, and certainly no 
liquor." 

“A measure,” he answered, “of the de- 
based quality of all officers. Because this 
Barnes is doing it, and the others are 
drinking it. We drive up to this distil- 
lery, about five miles due south along the 
back roads. On the way, Barnes changes 
to a jacket without insignia. When we 
get there a blooming maiden, in a per- 
fect state of preservation, appears in the 
doorway. She is a dilly, and her name is 
Minna, They embrace — a hideous expe- 
rience for a man of my sensitivity. To- 
gether they walk to the warehouse, to see 
what hooch may be on hand. This proc- 
ess takes about an hour. An hour! 
Meanwhile, I am instructed to guard the 
jeep until Barnes saunters back with her 
haunch in one hand and a jerry can of 
brandy in the other. ‘Home, James,’ he 
says, the sonofabitch, and on the way 
back he has several swigs. Does he ofter 
me any? He does not. And now, in ad- 
dition, he wants to louse up my snake 
act. You will understand why I am so 
bent on his extermination.” 

“Tell me how this letter will extermi- 
nate him." 

“Well.” McHugh said, "a gentleman 
would immediately go to the girl and 
want to know why she had not told him, 
and he would stick by her in one way or 
another, But Barnes is an officer. My 
guess is he will try to skip out.” 

McHugh's guess was half right: Barnes 
did make the move to skip out, by apply- 
ing for a transfer the very next day. 1 
saw the papers— approved —on the 
CO's desk. But he was even less а gen- 
deman — and more of a patsy — than 
McHugh had imagined. He planned to 
cover his tracks by framing McHugh, 
who told me about it a couple of days 
later. 

Lieutenant Barnes, it seems, ordered 
the jeep on Wednesday as usual, just as 
if nothing had happened. But on the 
way to the distillery he manifested а 
much greater than usual concern for his 
driver's welfare, 

"Sergeant," he said, "I've been think: 
ing. I mean, about the foolishness of this 

(continued on page 55) 


"It's disgusting how they'll commercialize anything!" 


PLAYBOY 


SMKES IN THE GRASS (continued from page 56) 


rule about fraternizing. Don't you think 
зо?" 

“Whatever the Lieutenant says," Mc- 
Hugh replied. 

“I mean," Barnes went on, "it just 
doesn't make good sense. Sergeant, I 
want to give you the chance for some 
female companionship. Today, you go 
get the brandy and I'll guard the jeep.” 

"Oh no, sir" McHugh said. “I 
couldn't do that.” 

"Couldn't do that? Why couldn't you 
do that?" 

“Because, sir, that would be breaking 
regulations, getting something from the 
German economy." 

"Oh, stow it, will you?" Barnes said. 
"We've been doing this for weeks now." 

"We, sir?" McHugh said. "No, sir, you, 
sir. I've just been driving the jeep, on 
your orders." 

"Dammit, man, get wise," Barnes said 
in exasperation. "I'm trying to do you a 
favor. That brewer's daughter is a very 
delectable and willing cooky. You would 
appreciate making her acquaintance,” 

By this time they were pulling up in 
front of the distillery. 

"Oh no, sir," McHugh said. “I really 
wouldn't want to make her acquaint- 
ance. That would be against regula- 
tions." 

"Goddammit, McHugh!" the lieuten- 
ant shouted. "I'm ordering you to go in 
and get that liquor! Drink some of it, 
and take your time about itl" 

“Well, if it's an order, sir," McHugh 
said, and got out with the jerry can. 

Minna appeared at the doorway. Lieu- 
tenant Barnes pushed over a carton of 
cigarettes, slid into the driver's seat, and 
took off as fast as he could. McHugh 
went up to Minna and explained that 
he would be picking up the order this 
time. She looked perplexed for a mo- 
ment, but not displeased, and together 
they proceeded to the warehouse. Two 
hours later they came out, hand in hand. 
The jerry can was full and they were 
using "Du" with each other, the intimate 
form of address.* They bade each other 
farewell with much tenderness and 
McHugh hiked a half mile down the 
road to where Barnes was hiding in the 
jeep. к 

"Have another drink, Sergeant," Lieu- 
tenant Barnes said, eagerly offering the 

* Usually, getting from the formal Sie 
to the Du status with a German girl takes 
a good deal of time and a lot of archaic 
hoop-la. But there is one situation т 
which the transition from Sie to Du is 
instantaneous. 1t is likely to sound some- 
thing like this (German. girl speaking): 
"Nein, tun Sie es nicht! Nein, ich bitte 
Sie! Sie sollen nicht—nein! nein! Sie... 
Ach, Du! Du!” It was a situation of 
this sort, 1 gathered, that arose in the 
case of Minna vs. McHugh. 


can. "How did it go with good old 
Minna?" 

“Oh, very well," McHugh said. "We 
had a most enjoyable talk." 

"Talk? Is that all? Here, have another 
drink. Man, that girl wasn't made for 
just talk." Barnes got real confidential. 
"Listen, soldier, it happens they're trans- 
ferring me out of here pretty soon, and 
I'd like to see you step into this nice 
little setup I have here. What a deal for 
you! I'll arrange it with the motor pool 
зо you can make these trips alone. Man, 
you're in heaven! What do you say?" 

"The lieutenant is most generous," 
was what McHugh said, "but this be- 
havior of the lieutenant's is so unusual, 
and so contrary to regulations, that I 
very much fear the lieutenant is fixing 
to frame me for an unpleasant encounter 
with the provost marshal, sir." 

"Oh, nol" Barnes exclaimed. "How 
could you ever suspect such a thing? I'm 
doing this because I like you, soldier.” 

And the upshot was that McHugh let 
himself be persuaded. He would consent 
to visit Minna twice a week and pick up 
five gallons of gorgeous brandy on the 
way back. Lieutenant Barnes left for his 
new post (the QM Supply Depot in 
Schweinfurt, a notoriously dreary place) 
smug in the belief that he had done a 
mighty foxy job of spreading the respon- 
sibility around if the question of pater- 
nity came up. 

Thus, as usual, the mess sergeant 
landed on his feet, better off than before. 
‘Twice a week, with the blessings of of- 
ficers thirsting for illicit liquor, he rode 
out to visit Minna, coming back to the 
hospital full of good spirits, some of 
which he retained for subsequent sale. 
Every Saturday he collected the head 
fees from the snake hunters and waved 
them off to their massive exploits in the 
cause of German-American friendship. 

But toward the end of August the sup- 
ply of snakes ran out; furthermore, the 
officers and doctors were getting notice- 
ably curious about the weekly Vólker- 
wanderung. McHugh decided, reluc- 
tanuy, that the time had come to ring 
down the curtain. He was in the orderly 
room, debating with me how best to un- 
collect the chaplain's snakes and get 
them back to where they had come from, 
when the chaplain bumbled in and took 
the problem right out of his hands. 

“How-de-do, fellows," he said; and 
then, after a little foot-scuffing and min- 
isterial wind: “I've been thinking. About 
my snakes, And I'm positively ashamed. 
You know, it’s been selfish of me to keep 
these wonderful specimens all to myself; 
selfish and unchristian. I've decided 
to donate them to an institution where 
others can share them. Yes siree, fellows, 
tomorrow we load all those bottles into 
а jeep and take them to Munich. To the 


Museum of Natural History.” 

It was the only time I have ever seen 
McHugh lose his composure, In fact, he 
nearly lost his balance. "Oh, sir," he said, 
"that's a very poor idea. That museum 
is completely bombed out — all the per- 
sonnel dead. I know what! Let's start a 
museum of our own, right here.” 

“But that would be selfish too, 
wouldn't it?” the chaplain asked se 
renely. “No, Sergeant. Surely we can find 
someone in Munich to accept these 
snakes, And 1 want you two men to help, 
if you don’t mind—I've arranged for 
your passes already.” 

"Oh lackaday!” McHugh exclaimed 
after the chaplain had left. “This plot 1 
could sell to Sophocles or maybe even 
Aeschylus. Sarge, let us evolve a tactic, 
or I am done for." 

So we evolved a tentative plan of ac- 
tion, And the next morning, about 10:30, 
there we were in Munich, toting bottles 
of snakes into the ruined bowels of the 
museum and hoping that this was the 
curator's day off. 

"Remember," McHugh whispered to 
me, "this gink doesn't know a word of 
English. Everything depends on your 
abilities as а mistranslator." 

Our hopes were not rewarded: Cap- 
tain Withers, leading the way, found 
him in a large, bare room in the base- 
ment. He introduced himself and then, 
with many smiles and expansive gestures, 
stated that he was giving a superb col- 
lection of snakes to the museum, looking 
toward the day when it would be роз 
sible to exhibit them to the public. He 
asked me to translate. 

"Captain Withers,” I said, "has ex- 
pressed his gratitude for the loan of your 
snakes and wishes to tell you that the 
American soldiers have derived much 
edification from studying them." 

The curator executed a courtly little 
bow. While he was doing so, his eye fell 
on McHugh, who was hiding behind me. 
"But Colonel Tchones!" he said. "Why 
are you in the uniform of a sergeant?” 

While I explained to him that Ameri- 
can officers often mix incognito with the 
common soldiers, to see how well they 
are doing their work, McHugh was tell 
ing the chaplain that the old man had 
apparently mistaken him for someone 
else. "Now let's get another load of 
snakes," he suggested, and made for the 
door. 

When the curator saw the rest of the 
snakes, he had another question. "Where 
аге my original bottles?" he asked. "With 
the labels and all the data for the mu- 
seum records," 

“The curator is extremely grateful," 
I translated, "and says it will give him 
great pleasure to identify the snakes and 
label them." 

"Well now," the chaplain said, beam- 
ing all over, "I think I can give him a 

(concluded on page 115) 


А УЕВУ 
GOOD 
SIDEWALK 
STORY 


"twixt earnest and joke, 
he enjoyed ihe lady 


PAUL KONWAY lived on Barrow Street in 
Greenwich Village. This is not one of 
the very pretty, viny streets of white- 
washed brick and dusty trees. It is a 
canyon of low tenements and garages 
offering moving and storage. Paul, pub- 
licity director for a small corporation, 
spent most of the year writing its annual 
report. The rest of the time he pre- 
tended to be working on the annual 
report and wrote poetry in his drawer, 
slamming it shut and lighting a cigarette 
like a serious thinker when an officer 
of the company passed his desk. 

In the evening Paul sometimes 
showed his poetry to his friends. They 
told him that it was wonderful. It was 
not wonderful. He sometimes thought 
that it was at least good, but ín his 
heart of hearts he knew that it was not 
yet good, either. He was very good, 
however, even wonderful, at annual 
reports, Paul Konway was also lean, 
high-cheekboned, and fine in his move- 
ments, just like the architects. named 
Paul in stories wherein the handsome, 
sad, young architect meets a girl named 
Candy or Cindy and he wants to build 
Beautiful Houses instead of parking 
garages and in the end Candy or Cindy 
turns out not only to love Paul but also 
to have a gruff but goodhearted father, 
probably named Zeckendorf, who needs 
a brilliant young architect for a Beau- 
tiful Homes housing project which he 
thinks of in the last paragraph. 

But what am I saying? Paul was not 
even a little bit of an architect, and all 
the girls named Candy or Cindy were 
practical nurses or secretaries whose 
gruff, goodhearted fathers became gruff 
and badhearted when they heard that 
Paul wrote poetry. 

“Will you marry me?” Paul once 
asked one of the girls named Candy or 
Cindy. 

“Yes, dear Раш," she replied, “as 
soon as I finish my analysis. But prob- 
ably then I will be too adjusted to mar- 
гу а poet, so maybe you had better look 
elsewhere.” 

And off he headed into the night of 
Christopher Street, with the gloomy face 
of unsatisfied desire, looking elsewhere. 
Elsewhere turned out to be Kate Bar- 
ker, who did not even live in Green- 
wich Village, You took the IRT subway 
uptown to 59th Street at Columbus 
Circle (local stop), walked a few blocks 


fiction By HERBERT GOLD 


59 


PLAYBOY 


east and a few blocks south, and there 
you could find Kate— sleek, vibrant 
and stimulating, a dark, condensed love 
goddess, more compact, muscled, and 
stately than love goddesses usually are 
in the movies, but breathing very deeply 
like a goddess of love, in her apartment 
above a delicatessen on Seventh Avenue. 
Part of the reason she breathed so deep- 
ly is that she had to walk four floors 
above the delly in order to enter the 
place she called her house away from 
home. Also she breathed excellently, 
yearningly, because she was an actress 
looking for work, a model in the gar- 
ment district only until the right part 
came along. 

Here on Seventh Avenue, amid the 
smells of pastrami and automobile ex- 
haust, with neon flickering through her 
windows and the roar and rush of mid- 
town Manhattan streaking by, she 
dreamed of carrying the burden of suc- 
cess back to Austin, Texas, which was 
her home at home. She played records 
by Brubeck and Monk in the meantime, 
and fought off the plump, lonely out- 
oftown buyers (Why, just why not, 
honey?"), and tried a speech from a new 
script before her full-length mirror, on 
which hung negligee, panties and Paul 
Konway's tie. He had left it there the 
second time that he visited her, bring- 
ing her two peaches in a paper bag, 
then asking her to read the poem by 
William Blake: 

1 asked a thief to steal me a peach: 

He turned up his eyes. 

1 asked a lithe lady to lie her down: 

Holy and meek she cries. 


As soon as 1 went an angel came: 

He winked at the thief 

And smiled at the dame, 

And without one word spoke 

Had a peach from the tree, 

And "twixt earnest and joke 

Enjoyed the lady. 

That poem is called The Angel, and 
it can be found with slightly more 
archaic spelling in several anthologies. 
How did Paul Konway persuade Kate 
Barker to read poetry by William Blake, 
John Donne ("Then be not coy, but use 
your time; and while ye may, go marry" 
—but no, that's Robert Herrick) and 
Paul Konway? Here's how. He went 
alone, consoling himself for Candy-or- 
Cindy's increasing adjustment to non- 
poets, to a flamenco recital at Carnegie 
Hall. He was gloomy (face of unsatis- 
Red desire) and it was Saturday night. 

The same day, it turned out, an out- 
of-town buyer had made a grotesquely 
clumsy pass at Kate while it was still 
light (late afternoon, September, day- 
light saving time) and she had nervously 
and angrily fled him, eaten a nervous 
angry sandwich, bought a ticket, and 
climbed the balcony to hear some nerv- 
ous, angrv, clacking, driving flamenco 


music. Her ticket put her next to Paul 
Konway. 

Ole! Ole! 

In fact, jOle! [Ole! 

First the early, traditional details: 
intermission cigarette, have you a light, 
fumble for match, joke, smile— very 
nice guitar, don't you think? Coffee 
afterward. Then they went strolling 
along Central Park South in the bright 
dry midnight of a fine Manhattan au- 
tumn. Kate felt calmed by this courte- 
ous, very formal young man — calmed 
and challenged. She was happy because 
Paul was not short and paunchy like 
out-of-town buyers. She was delighted 
and challenged. Paul was pleased be- 
cause Kate had a high-carrying proud 
walk, a soft, pleased, and laughing voice, 
and a respect for both annual reports 
and poetry (a woman's practicality, plus 
the Mary Hardin-Baylor College, Bel- 
ton, Texas, rural environment, no men, 
much reading of This 15 My Beloved, 
by a young poet who is long since 
middle-aged). Paul was shocked by his 
good luck. And challenged. 

"They agreed that they had a great deal 
in common, some of it openly admitted, 
some secret. What they admitted was an 
interest in the theatre, poetry and 
music: "Diz blows the most," Kate said. 

"Marcel Maas, the great French oboist, 
also blows the most," Paul gravely added. 

She nodded and they held hands cross- 
ing the street. One thing they had in 
common which they did not admit aloud 
was the hollow, racketing loneliness of 
unattached young men and women in 
the great city. Their hands, which re- 
fused to unlock when they got across the 
street, made this admission. "That was 
how Paul's tie came to be hanging on 
Kate's mirror. She invited him up, 
blushing, knowing he would understand 
that а girl from Mary Hardin-Baylor 
College (Belton, Texas) only meant to 
share some of her music with him. It was 
warm coming up the stairs and he asked 
permission to remove his tie. It was es- 
pecially warm walking behind Kate as 
she showed him the way. 

"By all means," she said. “Would you 
like some more coffee?" 

“It keeps me awake.” 

"Ме too," she said, so instead they had 
a glass of wine, which — as they noted — 
does not keep them awake but makes 
their cheeks pink. Both of them. They 
had another. Both the cheeks of both 
the new friends were made pink, but less 
by the wine than by the new friendship. 
The unusual importance of this sort of 
friendship can be indicated by studying 
a single aspect of it: they agreed fero- 
ciously, they quarreled tenderly about 
almost everything. For example, places 
to live in New York City. Paul Joved the 
antique charm of Greenwich Village, its 
girls with ponytails and ballet slippers 


and Indian jewelry made in litte 
Navaho workshops on Second Avenue, 
its gabled roofs and leaded windows and 
winding, seldom unwinding streets, its 
gabble of culture and its atrocious 
rents. He loved life, he loved off-Broad- 
way theatre, he loved art: how else to 
survive one blasted annual report after 
another? 

“Spaghetti,” Kate said contemptu- 
ously, "it's all spaghetti.” 

She preferred the Real People, Real 
Life of midtown Manhattan — the girls 
from furnished rooms who dress as if for 
the Princess of Monaco's wedding, the 
unemployed photographers photograph- 
ing the unemployed actors, the smart 
shops for the smart people who come 
from somewhere else, the whirling, roar- 
ing din of this center of the central city. 

“Frantic,” Paul commented, "it's all a 
rat race, Those people are so busy getting 
ahead they forget they're human beings. 
And usually they don't even get ahead." 

"Oh you're wrong! Snob!" Kate cried. 
"The Village is for squares — campus 
Bohemians!" 

“You're worse than a snob," Paul said. 
“You don’t understand.” 

"I dol" 

“Don't” 

"Dol" 

"Don't!" 

With that they embraced fiercely. 
When they had finished kissing, they 
looked balefully at each other. Some- 
thing strange, necessary, but dangerous 
was happening to them. When they fin- 
ished this suspicious survey of each other, 
of Kate separately, of Paul separately, of 
Kate and Paul together, they each 
sighed. Then they were sighing together. 
Then they were sweetly kissing. 

"The path of true Jove runs unsmoothly 
on the Fifth Avenue bus from Washing- 
ton Square to 55th Street. Squealing of 
brakes and hissing of doors. It is quicker 
but noisier on the subway. It is delicious 
but expensive by taxi, except during 
rush hours, when it is expensive but not 
delicious and the driver yells unmen- 
tionable commentaries to pedestrians, 
drivers and other obstructions. Manhat- 
tan can be defined as a great obstruction 
upon which dogs are walked and taxis 
handicapped. This creates terrible dan- 
gers for human beings with their eyes 
lifted to the marvels of the towered 
gothic island. 

And transportation does not constitute 
the great problem of modern love, either, 
or if it does, the issue is the transporta- 
tion of one soul into communion with an- 
other. Men and women have learned to 
make trouble for each other. Perhaps they 
always knew how, but with advancing civ- 
ilization they have become increasingly 
expert at jolting discontinuities, jostling 

(continued on page 8%) 


meet the miss we met at an amusement park 


NCE UPON A RECENT IMPULSF, we found 

ourself visiting a nearby amusement 
park, reliving some of the fun of our 
boyhood. We looped a few loops, 
knocked over some simulated milk bot- 
tles with a baseball and had worked our- 
self about midway down the Midway 
when our eyes fell upon the beautiful 
young lady featured on these pages. Her 


name, she told us, is Elaine Reynolds, 
and she graciously agreed to accompany 
us on our tour of funland. Lights flashed, 
bells rang, barkers barked, rollers coasted, 
popcorn popped and people cottoned to 
cotton candy, but the park's amusements 
paled by comparison with our vivacious 
companion, and there was nothing to do 
but bring her to you as Miss October. 


ey» 


PLAYLAND PLAYMATE 


MISS OCTOBER PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE OF THE MONTH 


PHOTOCRAPHY BY FRANK ЕСК 


Making the rounds of the amusement park grounds, Elaine pauses befare 
а properly popeyed devil, spins alaft in an airborne chariot, darts a 
dart at a balloon, and regards her réflection in a trick mirror. Know- 
ing bystanders agreed she held more attraction than the attractions. 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


Getting married is a good deal like go- 
ing into a restaurant with friends. You 
order what you want, then when you see 
what the other fellow has, you wish you 
had taken that. 


A girl we know has met the rising cost 
of living by simply selling an extra key 
to her apartment, 


Mrs. Smythe introduced her voluptu- 
ous young companion to the handsome 
cowboy who was to drive them from the 
railroad station to the dude ranch. 
“Charley,” she said, “this is an eastern 
ас аймапсе of mine, Miss Davis." 
harley gave Miss Davis a long, ap- 
| appraisal, smiled, and turned 
ack to Mrs. Smythe. 


ат,” he said, “I'd be right proud 
to make your acquaintance." 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines 
tattletale as а girl who talks about her 
affairs. 


Heh and Ghg, a pair of newly arrived 
Martians, stood on a New York street 
corner leering at the trafhe light across 
the way. 


away from her or ГИ knock 
your heads together," said Ghg to Hgh. 
aw her first” 


Hgh responded. “She 
winked at те!" 
Just then the signal changed from co 


to sror. The Martians stalked off dis- 
gustedly. 

"Women!" Hgh muttered. “If there's 
anything I can't stand, it's a tease.” 


Never пу to keep up with the Joneses; 
they might be newlyweds. 


A recent independent survey indicates 
that it’s still possible for a young woman 
with little or no experience to make her 
way into show business. 


Sum, the private eye, was giving his 
curvesome client а report 
"I trailed your husband into four bars 
and a bachelor's apartment," he said. 
"Aha!" exclaimed the wife. "Go on, 
on! What was he doing there?" 
"Well, lady," Sam responded in an 
embarrassed tonc, "near as I could make 
out, he was trailing you." 


ES 


The difference between the average man 
and a playboy is that the average man 
likes to give a girl a present, while the 
playboy would rather give her а past. 


Wee Willie was walking with Wanda, 
his new girlfriend, carrying her books 
home from grammar school. Both were 
eight years old. 

"Wanda," said Wee Willie with 
worshiping gaze, “you are the first girl 1 
have ever love: 

“Dammit,” said Wanda, “I've drawn 
another beginner!" 


Nothing keeps a girl on the straight 
and narrow more than being built that 
way. 


А waggish friend of ours observes that 
money can't buy love, but it can put 
you in an excellent bargaining position. 


Heard any good ones lately? Send your 
favorites to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
232 E. Ohio St, Chicago 11, JIL, and 
carn an easy $25.00 for each joke used. 
In сазе of duplicates, payment goes to 
first received. Jokes cannot be returned. 


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article Ву CARL BAKAL 


THE MARKET 


Е DROPPED BY HIS CLUB for an early lunch and a few hands of 

friendly blackjack with a crony. After ordering the drinks 
and the chips, he had a phone brought to the table and spoke a 
brief order into it. Then he settled down to the serious business of 
getting an ace in the hole as quickly as possible. Several martinis, 
one lunch, and a good many hands of blackjack later, he placed 
а second phone call, gave a second order, and thus, while clipping 
his pal for $8.50, also earned a tidy $2000. 

How? By purchasing, during his first call, 300 shares of Lefcourt 
Realty at 77%, an outlay of about $2300, He was able to sell 
Lefcourt later that same afternoon for 1414, and he was two 
grand to the good. 

The blackjack was gambling; the stock transaction was specu- 
lation. There is a great difference between the two, and this 
article will explain it to you. It will also explain how this enter- 
prising fellow could have made as nice a killing with a lot less 
cash than $2300. As you already know from glomming newspapers 
and magazines, people in all walks are jumping into the market, 
from ad execs to zymologists. They're getting a second income by 
adding up their spare time and their spare cash and investing 
them profitably in what is perhaps the most exuberant bull mar- 
ket in history. (In the speculexicon, a bull is a rising market, a 
bear a falling one.) Everybody's doing it, but not everybody's 
doing it right. 

Тоо many people are gambling rather than speculating. Too 
many people, as one Wall Street pundit puts it, "are recklessly 
rolling dice in the market with the idea that it is one big crap 
shooting society.” 

The reckless amateur blindly picks a stock with much the same 
abandon as he picks a horse or spins the wheel of fortune. But, 
whereas a horse player, before taking a flier on a filly, may study 
the form charts or even look at the horse — not that this usually 


PLAYBOY 


70 


does him any good — the amateur spec- 
ulator may know nothing at all about 
the stock into which he puts his money, 
when knowing something might easily 
do him some good. 

Graphic illustrations of this heedless 
speculation are everywhere. In the zany 
20s, a stock called Gold Dust (a maker 
of household cleaners) used to rise along 
with the gold group, just as today Sea- 
board Air Lines (a railroad) often re- 
sponds bullishly when the airlines group 
goes up. A similar Alice-in-Blunderland 
approach to stock selection was seen 
when Alaska became a state: there en- 
sued a wild rush to buy anything with 
the name "Alaska" in it. “They would 
even have bought a Baked Alaska if 
there was such a stock," recalls one 
broker. And, of course, any stock ending 
in "-onics" is still a magic word to un- 
wary speculators. 

This pure chance approach has paid 
off for a few. but the long-run odds are 
against it. Some, by latching onto a 
Lorillard (which went from 18 in 1957 
to a high of 88 in 1958), an American 
Motors (1958 price range: 814 to 89), ог 
а General Time (35 to 104 during the 
first five months of this year), and pos- 
sessing the stubbornness, stupidity, or 
perhaps good sense to hold on as these 
stocks zoomed upward, have managed to 
come out ahead or even make fantastic 
killings, proving that they are lucky, but 
not necessarily smart. One such fortu- 
nate soul put $1200 into 400 shares of 
General Transistor (simply because it 
was an electronics stock), when it was 
first offered to the public for $3 a share 
back in 1956; this year, when the stock 
hit a high of 88, the 400 shares were 
worth $85,200. However, the usual ex- 
perience of even those lucky enough to 
stumble onto a winner is to buy the 
stock after it has had a sudden surge 
upward, then get scared and sell out 
when it dips, after which, of course, the 
stock goes up again, attracting some 
more temporary hangers-on. Exact sta- 
tistics are lacking, but most brokers, if 
pressed to the wall, will admit that nine 
out of 10 amateur speculators invariably 
lose their shirts, or at least some but- 
tons, in the market. 

Luck plays some role in the success of 
the expert or professional speculator, 
too. But he generally manages to come 
out ahead mainly because he knows 
what he is doing and leaves as little as 
possible to chance. Unlike the black- 
jack player, he can, to a great extent, 
control the odds against him and ap- 
praise his risks by making a careful 
study of the particular stock in which 
he may be interested and getting a pretty 
good idea when to buy and sell it. Then 
through certain well-developed tech- 
niques he can pyramid his profits to a 
staggering degree if he has hit it right, 
keep his losses to a minimum if he has 


guessed wrong, and, as a matter of fact, 
often make money whether the market 
goes up, down or sideways. 

In truth, seasoned speculators think 
they take far fewer risks than the so- 
called investors. For our purposes, let's 
just say that an investor is interested in 
a stock primarily for income, whereas a 
speculator seeks a capital gain with in- 
come a decidedly secondary objective. 
"They may sometimes buy into the same 
stock, but for different purposes, or, as 
Merrill Lynch's Lou Engel put it, "One 
man's investment may be another man's 
speculation." 

Anyone who thinks he's playing it 
safe by putting his money into bonds, 


COMMISSIONS AND TAXES 
In this article, brokers' commis- 
sions and taxes have been omitted 
for the sake of simplicity. The 
commission schedule is quite 
lengthy, but as a rule of thumb, 
if you buy or sell stocks in the 
medium price range in multiples 
of 100 shares, you can count on 
paying your broker about 1.2% 
оп a single transaction. For “odd 
lots" — stocks in packets of less 
than 100— your cost will be 
slightly higher per share. The 
commission on bonds is around 
25%. Security Exchange Com- 
mission and state taxes on stock 
transactions are negligible. 

"The real tax bite is in the in- 
come tax, and here it is crucial 
how long you hold the stock. 
Profits from stocks held longer 
than six months are considered 
to be long-term capital gains, and 
are taxed at no more than 25%. 
Profits from securities held less 
than six months are short-term 
capital gains and are taxed as 
regular income, like salary or div- 
idends. It is an important aspect 
of your strategy of market specu- 
lation to take this distinction in- 
to account. 


blue chips or the bank, argue the specu- 
lators, runs the risk of having his capital 
eroded by inflation. Interest or dividends 
of 3% to 5% a year don't seem to mean 
very much when your money loses buy- 
ing power at the rate of 3% to 5% а 
year. In the past 20 years, the dollar has 
been cut in half, and in the next 30 
years, according to a former Under-Sec- 
retary of the "Treasury, the present 48- 
cent dollar may be worth only a dime. 

The investor in blue chips had blue 
skies from 1950 to 1957, with some stocks 
doubling and tripling during that 
period. But many haven't been doing 
100 well lately. Such sacred cows as 
Amcrican Can, Royal Dutch, Amerada 


and Standard Oil of New Jersey, to name 
only a few, are actually selling below 
their prices of a year ago, in the face of 
a market that has soared like Sputnik. 

A good or-thesurface argument is 
often advanced by the conservatives in 
favor of buying the bluest blue chips, 
regardless of price, and sticking with 
them through thick and thin. It involves 
playing a popular Wall Street pastime 
which we can call “If.” If — goes one of 
the typical exercises in this game — you 
had invested $500 a year in Goodyear 
"Tire since 1929, your shares would now 
be worth $169,000, and in addition, you 
would have pocketed $38,000 in cash 
dividends (all before taxes, of course). 
True. But the only thing the many ex- 
amples of this sort illustrate (they are 
even more impressive for stocks like 
IBM and Dow Chemical), is the advan- 
tage of hindsight over foresight. They 
also presuppose the existence of a mythi- 
cal investor (they're never real ones), 
with the Job-like patience to hold onto 
a good stock and even buy more of it in 
both good year and bad. 

Another fallacy in this game of look- 
ing back at missed opportunities lies in 
the fact that even the bluest of the blue 
chips often fade, Pennsy, for example, 
sold as high as 110 in 1929; this year it 
has been hovering around 17. А good 
argument can be made on behalf of buy- 
ing carefully selected blue chips for the 
long pull (but not necessarily forever), 
re-examining them from time to time, 
and switching out of them if they seem 
likely co take a turn for the worse. And 
considerable fortunes have been made 
this way, But the biggest fortunes have 
been made by the speculators who take 
a shorter-term view of things and are 
willing to take a chance, often on the 
stocks of the more obscure and perhaps 
more vulnerable companies. To be per- 
fectly honest, somewhat more risks are 
often involved in the process, but this is 
the price one should expect to pay for 
the bigger gains possible. 

Those who will use their spare time 
for an intelligent study of the stock mar- 
ket have a better-than-even chance of 
coming out ahead—and perhaps even 
getting rich quick—by emulating the 
techniques of successful professional 
speculators like Roman Shvetz. 

A chunky man in his middle fifties, 
Shvetz puts in eight hours a day at his 
office at 79 Wall Street doing nothing 
but buying and selling stocks, and the 
week seldom goes by when he doesn't 
trade 40,000 or 50,000 shares with a total 
value running into six or seven figures. 

Born in Russia and trained in China 
asa civil engineer, Shvetz gave up a high- 
paying partnership їп a prospering ex- 
port-import firm here in 1952 to devote 
all his attention to what, up to then, had 
been a spare-time obsession of his. 

(continued on page 72) 


best buskins for casual and rough-weather wear 


H IGH AND HANDSOME, the boot takes a big step for- 
ward this fall. Long popular abroad, it gained a 
foothold here in the early Fifties with the advent of 
leisurely postwar living and the casual clothing kick. 
Then it went more elegant with the introduction of 
the Continental suit, whose cuffless trousers tend to 
snag in standard-height shoe tops. Now, there are 
casual boot creations for sport, lined ones for spec- 
tators at stadiums and ski slopes, plus sturdy, refined 
versions for city wear on inclement days — all offering 
tough, weatherproof footing for rainy autumns, snowy 
winters and slushy springs. So chuck those uncomfort- 
able and generally unattractive overshoes and galoshes 
that have bugged you in the past; the new footgear 
provides style, sturdiness and protection — to boot. 


Top row, left to right: Jeep, a wild-honey-color ploin-toe 
chukko boot of corsoir leather with full sheorling lining, 
by Botes, $14.95; o high boot interpretotion of the clossic 
cordovon blucher, by Bostonion, $24.95; ploin-toe brown 
suede boot with а gold and block ploid nylon fleece lining, 
block non-slip ribbed rubber sole, by Woll-Streeter, $14.95; 
о smooth horsehide ploin-toe boot with rubber ripple sole, 
by Toylor-Mode, $18.95. Bottom row, left to right: moc- 
front onkle-high boot in burnt mople color, hond-sewn vamp, 
strop ond buckle, by Roblee, $15.95; Hush Puppies, о loden- 
green ploin-toe chukko boot of woter-repellent brushed 
pigskin, by Wolverine, $10.95; Knock-a-Boot, on olive green 
reversed Shetlond leother boot with о Velcro closure, block 
crepe heel/scle, by Botes, $13.95; Superlight, o moc-front 
chestnut colfskin boot, hond-sewn vomp, by Regol, $17.95. 


71 


PLAYBOY 


MARKET 


Starting from scratch, he read every book 
he could find on the stock market, now 
subscribes to nine financial newspapers 
and periodicals, admits that he has but 
touched the surface. 

Like most speculators, Shvetz gener- 
ally steers away from the blue chips, al- 
though he will occasionally take a flyer 
in a stock of this quality if he feels it is 
due for a fast rise (for example, Chrysler, 
early this year). 

He also prefers small, growing com- 
panies ("After all, ап electronics com- 
pany with sales of only five million or 
10 million dollars a year has a better 
chance of doubling than a Westinghouse 
with its sales of two billion"), and par- 
ticularly shuns stocks that pay dividends 
("1f they're too high, that's grounds for 
suspicion; besides, dividends are taxable 
as regular income"). 

И possible he holds a stock for more 
than six months ("Just long enough so 
that the long-term capital gains are tax- 
able at only half the usual rate, up to a 
maximum of 2595"), although many of 
his deals are also closed out in a couple 
of months, weeks or days ("If I wait too 
long after a rise, the stock may go down 
again and then I don't make anything, 
taxes or по taxes"). 

Experienced speculators also do not 
follow the popular investor's practice of 
diversification; that is, spreading their 
risk by putting their money into many 
different stocks. "To diversify too much," 
says one pro, "is a sign that you're not 
too sure of yourself. On the other hand, 
if you concentrate on just a few stocks, 
you're going to be sure to take the time 
to study them pretty carefully.” 

Seasoned speculators will rarely fol- 
low the practice of dollar averaging (buy- 
ing more of the same stock as it drops 
in price), but they will often pyramid or 
average up, and keep buying a stock as 
it continues to go up in price. “That 
means,” says Е. Е. Hutton's famed Gerald 
Loeb, "I believe in following up one's 
successes and minimizing one's failures." 

One of the things that distinguishes 
the really skillful speculator is this abil- 
ity to capitalize on any given situation 
and squeeze the last drop of profit out 
of it—and often with a minimum of 
one's own cash tied up in the transac- 
tion; that is, on credit. 

Wall Street's euphemism for credit is, 
of course, "margin," a term which was 
considered quite a dirty word circa 1929. 
Buying a stock оп margin is something 
like buying on the installment plan but 
not quite. The similarity is that margin 
is a sort of down payment, representing 
the proportion of the price of a stock 
you have to put up in order to buy it, 
the broker lending you the rest at a rate 
of interest. The difference is that you 
never have to make any additional pay- 


(continued from page 70) 


ments unless the price of the stock goes 
down. On the other hand, if the stock 
goes up, some wonderful maneuvers are 
possible — though not as possible as they 
were back in those giddy days of the 
1920s when margin requirements were 
as low as 10%, or just a dime on the 
dollar. This meant that to buy $10,000 
worth of stock, you had to put up only 
$1000 in cash. 

With this leverage —as the device of 
doing a lot with a little is called in finan- 
cial circles—quite a few people were 
able to run a shoestring into a fortune, 
and often back into less than a shoe- 
string in practically no time at all. Be- 
cause this free and easy use of Wall 
Street credit did to a great extent hasten 
the onset of the 1929 crash, Congress in 
the early 1930s gave the Federal Reserve 
Board the power to regulate margin re- 
quirements, and since then they have 
ranged (depending on the exuberance 
of the market) anywhere from 40% to 
100%. They are now 90%. 

However, lots of people are still play- 
ing the game, but differently. For every 
sophisticated speculator knows a num- 
ber of devious and yet perfectly legal 
methods of escaping the present 90% 
margin requirements and playing the 
market with much more than the 10% 
credit his broker allows him. These 
methods, combined with certain other 
esoteric money-stretching techniques, 
permit him to do business in more ог 
less the old way. 

Special money brokers (some advertise 
in the Wall Street Journal, or your 
brokerage firm can put you in touch 
with them) lend you up to 85%, or even 
90% on any stocks other than outright 
cats and dogs at an interest rate of 1% 
a month, holding the stock аз collateral. 
“This may seem high,” says one broker, 
“but if your 100 shares of a $50-stock 
move up half a point, this covers the in- 
terest and everything above it is profit.” 
Banks are another source of credit at 
considerably lower rates — usually 5% 
to 6% a year—lending up to 50% оп 
over-the-counter stocks (those not traded 
оп registered stock exchanges) and up 
to 80% or 85% on bonds. Banks also 
lend up to 70% on listed stocks, too, but 
with the stipulation that the loan not be 
used for the purpose of carrying these 
stocks or buying other listed securities. 

However, there's always a legal way 
out for the adroit. Those who do not 
wish to run afoul of the letter, if not the 
spirit, of the law, simply get loans on 
“convertible” bonds. A convertible bond 
is a mongrel (but perfectly respectable) 
form of security that can be converted 
into (that is, exchanged for) the com- 
pany's common stock at will. It was 
once described by a financial writer as 
“a security for a man who cannot make 


up his mind whether he is investing or 
speculating — that is, whether he wants 
the relative safety of a bond or the 
volatility of a stock.” Because a con- 
vertible bond, through this feature, 
theoretically lets a man have his cake 
and eat it (it is supposed to sink only 
slowly and act like a bond when the 
market goes down and zoom up like 
a stock when the market goes up), and 
also often pays a fairly decent return 
(generally anywhere from 4% to 6%), 
many can be found in even the most 
conservative portfolios. 

And there are other reasons why gen- 
tlemen prefer bonds (convertible). They 
are favorites of speculators who find in 
them a means of getting around the 
customary margin requirements for 
stock and, in addition, they offer a 
greater profit potential than that pro- 
vided by buying or borrowing against 
the stock into which the bond is con- 
vertible. 

A prime example of this technique in 
action is the experience of a speculator 
who last October decided that Northrop's 
4% convertible bonds due in 1975 were 
a good buy. Each $1000 bond (converti- 
ble into 36.7 shares of Northrop com- 
mon at $27.25) was then selling for 
$1030, slightly above par. The speculator 
decided to buy 300 of them after first ar- 
ranging with his bank to finance 85%, 
of the $500,000-plus involved in the 
transaction, with him putting up the 
other 15%, or about $45,000. Interest 
rate charged him on the collateral loan 
was 4%%, or only 3495 more than the 
4% he was getting on the bonds. (On 
some bonds, the interest rate is high 
enough to give you a "free ride" on the 
bank loan, or even give you а litte 
profit.) By mid-May of this year when 
he decided to sell out, each bond was 
worth $1630. Total profit on his $45,000 
investment: $180,000. 

However, let's get one thing straight 
about working a deal of this sort with 
convertibles. The risk is greater, too. 
Had the bonds, held as they were on 85%, 
credit, dropped even а bit in price, the 
speculator would have had to fork over 
more money to the bank. And had they 
dropped $150, his original $45,000 would 
have been wiped out completely. 

There are a number of other ways that 
permit you to escape that 90%, margin 
requirement, One Federal Reserve 
Board regulation, for example, provides 
a neat loophole by allowing you to ac- 
quire stock "rights" and "when issued" 
stock — the new stock issued after a stock 
split — for down payments as low as 25%, 
(A stock split occurs when, for example, 
а corporation withdraws its stock that is 
selling for, say, $100 a share and issues 
to the stockholders two shares of new 
stock worth $50 apiece.) 

Commodities — wheat, eggs, rubber, 

(continued on page 74) 


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73 


PLAYBOY 


74 


MARKET (continued from page 72) 


lard — сап be picked up for a 5% to 
10% margin. U.S. Treasury Bonds can 
be gotten for as little as 5% margin, and 
а mere $% cash down payment will pur- 
chase gold on the Canadian market. 

Still other sources of leverage are pos- 
sible through the use of such devices as 
warrants and put and call options. Both, 
in somewhat different ways, enable you 
to maintain a position in a lot of stock 
for comparatively little money. 

A warrant is an option that gives the 
holder the privilege of buying a share 
of stock (from the company itself) at a 
fixed price within a stipulated period, 
anywhere from one to as much as 10 
years or longer. A warrant is traded like 
stock. Most warrants (there are about a 
hundred different ones currently out- 
standing) are traded in the over-the- 
counter market; about a dozen are listed 
on the American Stock Exchange. 

The famous RKO warrant illustrates 
how warrants work. First issued by RKO 
in 1940 after a reorganization of the 
company, it was good to buy a share of 
RKO stock at $15 (for a period of 10 
years). In 1942, however, the company 
stock was selling for only $2.50 and the 
warrant commanded a price of 614¢— 
seemingly expensive even at this price. 
For, you reason quite sensibly, why 
should I pay even 614€ for a piece of 
paper which gives me the dubious privi- 
lege of putting up another $15 for a 
stock that I can now buy on the open 
market for $2.50? The only logical rea- 
son for you to risk even the 6$ would 
be if you felt very bullish about the 
stock and thought it would go up con- 
siderably, though not necessarily to its 
conversion price of $15. И this were to 
happen (and at the time it did seem 
rather unlikely), you could do much bet- 
ter by putting $500 into the purchase of 
8000 warrants than the same amount of 
money into 200 shares of the stock. For 
— and here lies the beauty of warrants — 
any big swings in the price of a stock 
are bound to be greatly magnified in the 
price of its warrant. 

Let's look at ће RKO picture four 
years later. The optimists were right: 
the stock had moved up to $28 and the 
warrants to $18. The $500 investment in 
the stock would have appreciated 11 
times to $5600. And the $500 worth of 
warrants would have grown to $104,000, 
multiplying over two hundred times, or 
about 20 times faster than the stock. 

The bestial side of warrants, of course, 
is that they can also go down just as 
fast as they go up. For, unlike stocks, 
warrants are merely pieces of paper 
which represent no equity in the busi- 
ness of the company, pay no dividends, 
and approach a value of zero as their 
expiration date nears — often, alas, just 


100 soon for you to cash in on their 
potential. 

Because warrants offer their best op- 
portunities when available at mere 
fractions of the price of the stock—a 
situation most likely in a depressed 
market—there are very few, if any, 
penny warrants around today. But quite 
a few selling at anywhere from a half to 
a third of the price of the stock can 
still be picked up. 

They won't permit the same fabulous 
profits possible with the classic examples 
given but nevertheless are a useful specu- 
lative tool if you have good reason to 
believe that the stock to which they are 
tied is going to move up. 

A few words of caution, however: 
don't buy warrants whose expiration 
dates are not at least a few years off. 
And don't buy them with the same blind 
abandon with which many people buy 
penny stocks. For even if the warrants 
are cheap, you can still lose everything 
you sink into them. 

Puts and calls, perhaps the most curi- 
ous creatures of the financia] world, are 
still other types of options, but, unlike 
warrants, are not traded in the market. 
In principle, these options work very 
much like real estate or similar business 
options. For example, a speculator de- 
cided that there was some money to be 
made in Lorillard when it was priced at 
$19 (back in 1957). Following the nor- 
mal procedure, he could have bought 
200 shares of the stock by laying out 
$3800 (or somewhat less by buying the 
stock on margin). But he didn't want to 
tie up all this money in the stock mar- 
ket at the time. Moreover, he didn't want 
to risk losing much of the $3800 in the 
event that Lorillard went down instead 
of up. So instead he paid $450 for a call 
that gave him the privilege of buying 
200 shares of Lorillard at $19 anytime 
within the next six months. Five months 
later, Lorillard had jumped to $60. The 
speculator thereupon decided to exercise 
his call. Through his broker, he bought 
200 shares of Lorillard for $3800, sold 
the stock immediately for $12,000, wind- 
ing up with the difference of $8200 
minus the $450 cost of the option, or a 
profit of $7800 less commissions and 
taxes. The beauty of this whole oper- 
ation is that at no time did he stand to 
lose more than his $450, even had Loril- 
lard dropped to zero. He simply would 
not have exercised his option. And had 
Lorillard risen to only 22, he could have 
retrieved all of the cost of his call. As it 
turned out, he walked away with a profit 
of 1700% on a rather minute invest- 
ment. Had he decided, at the beginning, 
to put $3800 into the stock, his profit 
would have been just slightly more, 
roughly $8200, but this would have rep- 


resented a return of only about 200% on 
his investment. So that you can savor 
all the possibilities of this gambit, let's 
say that he had decided to sink the whole 
$3800, not into the stock, but into calls. 
For this money he could have purchased 
16 calls, giving him options on 1600 
shares of Lorillard. His total profit, on 
the same basis, would have been $60,000. 

There are a number of other reasons 
why you might want to buy a call, aside 
from the obvious purpose of trying for 
a big gain with a minimum of money. 
You may, for example, have to sell stock 
you own because of a need for ready 
cash and yet wish to maintain your posi- 
tion in the stock. Or you might want to 
insure yourself against a loss in connec- 
tion with a "short" sale (more about this 
in just a moment). 

A put is just the opposite of a call and 
gives you the right to sell a stock at a 
specified price during the life of the 
particular option. Obviously, the main 
reason you'd buy опе is that you were 
bearish or pessimistic about a particular 
stock or, perhaps, the market in gen- 
eral. (It is easy to understand why, in 
recent years, calls have been more popu- 
lar than puts) Suppose, for example, 
you feel that General Dynamics, selling 
at $59, is due for a considerable drop in 
the next three months. For, say, $850, 
you buy a put option, giving you the 
right to sell 100 shares of General 
Dynamics at $59 anytime within the next. 
three months. Should General Dynamics 
go up or remain at $59, your option is 
worthless and you're out the $350. If, 
on the other hand, General Dynamics 
goes down, say to $40, you buy 100 
shares of the stock at that price on the 
open market through your broker and 
then, exercising your option, have him 
sell it for $59, coming out ahead by 
$1550 ($1900 less the $350 cost of the 
option), or a profit of almost 500% on 
your money in three months or less. 

Speculators use puts for a variety of 
other reasons. They may be dubious 
about a stock they own and yet not wish 
to sell it. As an alternative to a stop- 
loss order — instructions to a broker to 
sell a stock if it drops below a certain 
price — they protect themselves against 
а big drop by buying puts as a form of 
insurance. They also provide a less risky 
alternative to selling a stock “short.” 

Puts and calls are available in periods 
of anywhere from 30 days to a year and 
unlike warrants can be secured for most 
actively traded stocks, one option usually 
covering 100 shares of the stock. Cost 
depends on the length of the option, the 
price of the stock and its volatility. You 
can have your broker buy them for you 
from one of the 26-odd members of the 
Put and Call Brokers and Dealers 
Association or order them directly from 

(continued on page 108) 


actress elaine invites 
our photographer 
to a private 


shooting session 


pictorial 


SULTRY MISS STEWART 


E LAINE STEWART enjoys a privilege few film-fatales can lay claim to — she accepts screen roles only when 
they excite her, because she doesn't need the money. 

She has interests in four Texas oil wells, real estate in Beverly Hills and Palm Springs, a portfolio over- 
flowing with good dividend-paying stocks. "A lot of people told me I was crazy to invest in oil," she laughs, 
"but my bank in Abilene will tell you different." "That's why — although she's made stunning appearances 
in The Bad and the Beautiful, Take the High Ground, Brigadoon, Night Passage and many other films, 
playing opposite such stalwarts of the cinema as Kirk Douglas, Richard Widmark, James Stewart, Victor 
Mature — she does it for kicks, not for cash. 

But this doesn't mean Elaine's attitude toward acting is that of the casual hobbyist or dilettante. She 
approaches her hand-picked acting assignments like a professional, seriously and with dedication. "When I 
first came to Hollywood,” she recollects, “I got some pretty unrealistic coaching, It was the year everybody 
stopped wearing bras and girdles under their dresses and went around saying ‘Ooooh, darling’ with rounded 
lips. But that isn’t my idea of acting, Life isn’t ‘Ooooh, darling’ all the time." These are the perspicacious 
words of a bright girl, not sour grapes, for — as these exclusive PLAYBOY photographs attest — Miss Stewart 
can make a good showing in the un-undied league any time she chooses. She seldom chooses, because she 
doesn’t need pin-up publicity any more than she needs money, and she consented to this rare unveiling 
before the PLAYBOY lens for exactly the same reason she accepts screen roles: just for the fun of it. 


PHOTOGRAPHY FOR PLAYBOY BY FRANK SCHALLWIG 


PLAYBOY 


These revealing photographs of film 
stor Elaine Stewart, token in her 
home in Beverly Hills, were зопс- 
tioned because she personally felt 
“PLAYBOY's pictures ore always in 
the best possible taste and | think 
It would be fun ta pose for you." 


o 
я 


PLAYBOY 


ALKY ERA 


water and flavoring, and it was ready to 
drink immediately, with no nonsense 
about aging. In the early days gin was 
made by professionals who knew how to 
flavor it with essence of juniper berry, 
but later the flavoring was sold in drug 
stores and anyone could make the stuff. 
It was not often made in bath tubs be- 
cause of the nuisance of siphoning out 
the last couple of bottles and because of 
the inevitable wastage down the drain. 
The simplest way to brew up a batch 
was to fill a gallon jug half with water — 
distilled water, if you wanted to be fancy 
— and half with alcohol, Then you added 
the juniper juice, corked it and rolled it 
back and forth across the floor a few 
times for mixing. The molecular action 
of the alcohol and water made the stuff 
warm and it was considered the mark of 
а connoisseur to let it cool to room tem- 
perature before drinking it, usually with 
ice, lemon and ginger ale. 

For ambulant social consumption you 
carried the gin in a pint flask of Brit- 
tania metal, which imparted no taste — a 
tinny flavor would have improved much 
of the gin, at that — and drank it with 
setups. А 12-ounce bottle of ginger ale 
with ice and lemon cost a dollar in the 
better places, and usually there'd be a 
cover charge of three dollars or so. Gin 
was popular because, everything con- 
sidered, it was safest. If. you could be 
reasonably certain that your alcohol 
wasn't absolutely deadly, you didn't have 
much to worry about. 

There were other compounds avail- 
able, though. By 1928, extracts for mak- 
ing rye, bourbon, brandy and even such 
esoteric potables as anisette were avail- 
able to the home chemist. All you needed 
was a source of straight А and the co- 
ordination of a chimpanzee. You bought 
the flavoring at a store — in New York 
they were called "Cordial Shops" — and 
added it to the alcohol. In time you 
learned little tricks. Some people added 
glycerine to smooth the stuff out. Others 
used Karo syrup or honey for the same 
purpose. Simpler drinks were also avail- 
able: cherry whiskey, for example, rosy 
with soda-fountain syrup. A popular po- 
tion for innocent young ladies was а 
light mixture of alcohol and water, say 
65/35, laced with lemon syrup. 

There were malt and hops stores, too, 
to sell the makings for home brew. The 
malt came in three-pound cans and the 
label included a recipe for making 
ginger snaps. (It was possible, and they 
were good, too.) The stores also sold 
crocks. rubber hose, bottles, caps and so 
on. Аг first you had to buy yeast and 
hops separately, but soon they were all 
combined. and you just dumped the can 
into a big pan and heated it, Then you 
pur it into а crock with five gallons of 
water and а pound of sugar. You stirred 


(continued from page 47) 


it for a while and then let nature take 
over. About a week later you bottled it. 
You put a spoonful of sugar in each bot- 
tle first, for carbonation, and in some 
areas a magic pill called "Do More" was 
popular. Sometimes the stuff was good, 
sometimes it was terrible, but nobody 
ever threw it away. You drank it. 

You could make wine, too. The malt 
stores sold grape juice in kegs. The kegs 
carried a dire warning in red: “ро мот 
LET THIS KEG STAND WITH THE BUNG OPEN 
FOR SIX WEEKS. DO NOT AGITATE THE KEG 
UNDER THESE CONDITIONS. IF YOU DO, AT 
THE END OF SIX WEEKS YOU WILL HAVE 
WINE AND THIS I$ ILLEGAL." Some people 
preferred wine bricks, a concentrate of 
grape juice in solid form. You tossed one 
into a keg, added water and followed the 
тедЛецег formula. Wine bricks cost a 
dollar and a half and one would make 
five gallons of wine, to use the term in 
the loosest fashion. 

The necessary alcohol came from 
everywhere under the sun. The best was 
government issue, of course, 188 proof. 
Drug stores had it for prescription-mak- 
ing, and if a bootlegger admitted making 
his own stuff, instead of getting it right 
off the boat, he was likely to tell you 
that his brother worked in a drug store, 
or that he was a chemist with unlimited 
access to the real stuff. Drug store alcohol 
cost $20 a gallon and was the only truly 
"straight" alky on the market. All other 
alcohol was cut with water. The alcohol 
that was delivered to my kitchen in a 
gallon can every Saturday for years was 
pure enough, but it tested at less than 
100 proof, and cost $5 a gallon. 

Most А was "cooked." It was indus- 
trial alcohol, paint remover, lacquer 
solvent or some other deadly poison 
which had been boiled until the lethal 
ingredients had largely volatilized. Alky 
cooking was a very big business, and 
every big city had illicit plants turning 
out thousands of gallons a day. Alky 
cooking was a cottage industry, too. A 
small still on the stove could convert 
coarse yellow corn sugar into alcohol 
neatly and easily. Huge organizations 
grew up engaged in the business of de- 
livering corn sugar to thousands of 
homes and apartments, collecting and 
paying for the finished product a gallon 
Or so at a time. It was a small business, 
like wine-making, but it gave the women 
folks a profitable pastime. It solved the 
question of what to do with Grandma. 
She could always watch the still. 

Amateur distillation of the finished 
product, finished except for the vital 
aging process, that is, was largely а rural 
endeavor because of the resultant odor. 
If you tried to set up a medium-sized 
still in the back yard of а city home, 
somebody would rat on you and the 
Federals would shortly call. In the prov- 


inces you could hope to dissipate the 
telltale odor in the wide-open spaces. 
The Southerners were best at it, since 
they'd been in training since Colonial 
times. They made corn, and for some 
reason they packaged it in Mason jars. 
Many an unrepentant citizen can re- 
member the cool caress of moonshine 
running into his ears as he tried to drink 
out of a Mason jar in a speeding Model 
Т. To expedite deliveries, and foil the 
lurking Feds on the way, the Southern 
moonshiners developed a kind of Q-ship 
on wheels; a dismal-looking coupé 
equipped with a big hairy engine in 
front and truck springs in the rear, the 
better to cope with the weight of Mason 
jars and corn. Accepted practice was to 
run these formidable vottures over the 
mountain roads at night and without 
lights, and as fast as they'd go. I rode 
passenger, or shotgun, in one of them in 
Kentucky. I stared through the wind- 
shield in sheer horror, immovable, for 
about five minutes. Then I unscrewed a 
short jar of the stock and anesthetized 
myself. I wasn't afraid to die —1I just 
didn't want to know about it. 

Most people drank corn practically as 
soon as it was cool. Wiser men laid it 
down in charred kegs for a few months. 
But corn wasn't the only regional moon- 
shine. In the cherry-orchard country of 
Wisconsin there was something called 
St. Nazienz, a cousin, twice removed, of 
cherry brandy. Minnesotans made wheat 
wine, and New Jersey farmers cooked 
applejack. There were two kinds of 
apple: distilled and frozen. The distilled 
stuff was made like whiskey, by running 
hard cider through a still. The frozen 
stuff was easier to produce: you just set a 
barrel of hard cider outdoors and let it 
freeze. Then you bored into the center, 
where the alcohol had concentrated. You 
drained that off and threw the rest away. 
"The stuff may not have been as palatable 
as a fine calvados, but it had no less 
authority. 

If you lacked the enterprise to brew 
up your own booze, and didn't want to 
patronize the thugs who had it for sale, 
you could make do quite acceptably 
with various synthetics openly sold. 
There were the  beef.iron-and-wine 
tonics, usually 50 percent alcohol. There 
were flavoring extracts and mouthwashes. 
You needed kidneys like truck radiators, 
but you could get loaded, and that, after 
all, was the prime consideration. Vanilla 
extract would do until the manufactur- 
ers found a way to make it without 
alcohol, and I have had Listerine high- 
balls, which are ghastly— although а 
small bottle of Listerine added to a dish- 
panful of canned grapefruit juice and 
alky gave it, for some tastes, a distinctive 
bouquet. With or without Listerine, 
grapefruit juice was considered the uni- 

(concluded on page 86) 


now!” 


ot going old fashioned on me 


You're n 


PLAYBOY 


82 


“And then he seduced те. And it wasn't the first time, either!" 


humor By BERN KEATING 


^ HALF CENTURY after Kitty Hawk, one 
of aviation medicine's major problems — 
the Transoceanic Syndrome, character- 
ized by paralytic pernicious boredom — 
remains only partly solved. Neither light 
reading nor small talk will help on a 
long flight, for the very adjectives 
"light" and "small" show that these are 
petty weapons soon worn out. There is 
only one escape: sleep. But how to at- 
tain it in ап upright Z-position which 
can be changed only to three increas- 
ingly excruciating angles? Liquor is 
cheap aloft and eftective for a time, of 
course, but on a really long jump there 
comes the inevitable headachy insomnia 
twice as bad as before. Dramamine was 
a promising drug, but laboratory-bound 
chemists worked on it until they pro- 
duced a "clean" pill without what they 
thought were undesirable side effects, 
that is, the tendency to knock the pa- 
tient out for a few hours of blessed 
repose. 

The air traveler, however, is not com- 
pletely without resource. For him who 
must fly, I can recommend any philol- 
ogy book set in small type and replete 
with passages such as: 


The primitive voiceless mutes pass in 
Gothic into the corresponding aspirates, 
the primitive voiced mutes into the cor- 
responding voiceless mutes, and the 
primitive voiced aspirates into the cor- 
responding voiced mutes. 


Aided by a moderate nip from the sky 
lounge, a few learned lines on the laws 
of language will overcome all but the 
most stubborn cases of aerial insomnia. 
Of course, the subject need not be phil- 
ology. It can be epistemology, escharol- 
ogy or 19th Century economics. Any 
abstruse subject will do so long as it ful- 
fills two conditions; (1) it must be writ 


ten in an almost-but-not-quite incompre- 
hensible jargon; and (2) it must be the 
kind of science whose mastery you've 
always promised yourself as soon as you 
found the time. One precaution: you 
must not really become interested. To 
want to be interested is all right, even 
imperative, but to become truly inter- 
ested is disastrous. You are then doomed 
to sleepless hours of watching your feet 
swell over your shoe tops. 

1 issue this warning because I myself 
am in need of a new anodyne. Philol- 
ogy's opiate qualities were destroyed for 
me by my seatmate on a flight from Paris 
to New York. He was a GI, homesick 
for the prairie he had left a year before. 
He was the chummy type, and from the 
takeoff he hit the right droning note. 
Half listening to his monolog and half 
reading my good gray book, I had passed 
the evening in intermittent unconscious- 
ness. And then the Lone Ranger brought 
the science of language to life for me 
forever by saying: “Finally I managed to 
get me some good eats in France when 
I remembered that the French for filet 
mignon was chdteaubriand.” 1 was 
hooked. Philology is real, and the his- 
torical process it studies was hard at 
work right at my elbow. I became a 
wakeful witness to the mauling and pum- 
meling that shapes our language. 

"When I left camp for home," he 
said, "on my way through France 1 
vowed to treat myself to the best them 
foreigners had. 1 was going to stay at 
the King George Sank the Fifth Hotel 
and drink champagne wine all day. But 
first buck out of the chute, me and the 
management fell out. I checked in a 
mite early and the room wasn't even 
made up yet. They was derbiss every 
whichaway." 

"Derbiss?" 1 mused. "Derbiss? Ah, yes, 

(continued on pnge 102) 


high in the sky, а brand new language was being born 


Е IS RESTING comfortably now, poor dear. 
1 must be extremely quiet while I go 
about preparing our supper. 

How his lamentably waxen face will light 
up when I tote in our hot trays and sit at 
his bedside in the candleglow! And that 
reminds me, we are running low on matches. 

Neither of us is given to smoking — not 
that he could smoke in his present condi- 
tion or that I would all at once take up 
smoking at the age of 51 (Heavens, how 
the years go byl), even to calm my nerves, 
lest the smoke annoy him. So it has worked 
out quite nicely that I thought of serving 
our evening meals by candlelight, making 
it essential to have on hand boxes of 
matches. 

1 see I bave barely enough for this 
evening. 

Now 1 must give my careful attention to 
scraping the antimony sulphide from the 
matches and then dissolving it in his dose 
of medicine. 

None of that. It is a bitter thing, but he 
must see no tears. That would be foolish 
when my sole aim is to end his suffering. 

No, it is right that he go while he is cheer- 
ful. I have heard that this strange checr- 
fulness is a sign of the end, so I am in a 
way only helping Nature. 

There. Now to go in. Smile. It is hard, 
but smile. 

Later I shall go out and buy a new plant 
for his night table. And while I am at it T 
shall get more matches. 


LOVING COUPLE 


fiction ву EDWARD WELLEN 


НЕ Is TIPTOEING about, trying not to dis- 

turb me, the darling. I truly believe it is 
harder on her than it is on me. 

How contrary living is! And that neces- 
sarily goes for dying, which is after all a 
phase of living. I grow cold to think that 
only a short month ago I would have fumed 
with silent fury at her obtrusive efforts to 
be unobtrusive. 

I know quite well I would have found all 
her little attentions and all her pathetic 
attempts at maintaining a soothing atmos- 
phere extremely trying. That is the way of 
the ill. But now that I have cast the die I 
find myself oddly at peace and strangely 
unirritable. And I am happy that this is 
so, more for her sake than for my own. For 
she has been putting herself out to make 
my waning days happy ones. 

And indeed they are, relatively speaking, 
happy ones. I have won the strength to bear 
the pain. I enjoy the fine meals — and even 
the ridiculously sentimental candlelight. 

Upon reflection, this last wuly touches 
me and I find myself loving her more than 
ever and feeling surer of the step I ат 
taking. 

I must die quickly. I must no longer be 
а burden to my beloved. 

I hear her coming. 

Now that I have settled it all in my mind, 
how easy it is to answer her sweet smile. 

Yes, Г shall keep spilling the healing 
medicine into the flower pot. Too bad the 
plant has died from the excessive moisture 


destiny dealt a sardonic game of doubles 


Ах» р 


DE 


“Time to unmask, Miss Crawford.” 


PLAYBOY 


ALKY ERA 


versal solvent and when I was in college 
no self-respecting fraternity would con- 
sider setting up a party without a few 
hotel-size tins of the stuff on hand. The 
Dekes used to give their dates something 
called simply "snow" (maybe this is the 
origin of "snow job") which was vanilla 
ice cream beaten up with straight A. 
Mixed properly you couldn't taste the 
alcohol, possibly because the cold ice 
cream dulled the taste buds, and many 
a dear little girl wildly overestimated her 
capacity to handle the stuff. And many 
an all-American boy, if it comes to that. 

A word that frightened the uninitiated 
was "Jake," short for Jamaica ginger, a 
remedy for stomach ailments. Good Jake 
ran about 96 percent alcohol — that's 
196 proof. It came in four-ounce bottles, 
each packing the equivalent jolt of per- 
haps eight contemporary martinis. I've 
seen people dump four ounces of Jake 
into a malted milk glass, add ice and 
Coca-Cola and drink it in 20 minutes. 
‘They were very drunk for a short while 
before they passed out. You could get 
really stiff on. Jake, and by stiff I mean 
literally rigid. The trouble with Jake 
was that the government persuaded the 
makers to poison it, so that more than 
50 drops, the prescribed dose to be taken 
in hot water, would have serious results 
when taken, in the label term we all 
knew so well, internally. People began 
dying from Jake. But good Jake was all 
right, taken slowly with plenty of cracked 
ice. The cracked ice was to convince you 
that your throat was not being burned 
off in strips. 

Toward the end of the great drought, 
when repeal was almost in sight, most 
carnest drinkers got down to essentials, 
They drank ginger ale or Silver Spray 
or Green River dosed with straight A, 
or they drank near-beer that had been 
“spiked” or “needled.” There were а lot 
of near-beers on the market, some of 
them pretty good. Kingsbury Pale, for 
example, was superior. You opened the 
botte, filled the neck with alcohol, de- 
canted it into a big glass or a mug. If 
you preferred to drink it out of the bot- 
Че, you uscd a technique known as 
"heeling." You put your thumb carefully 
over the neck of the boule after you'd 
added the alcohol, slowly upended it 
and then struck the bottom a smart jolt 
with the heel of your shoe, or your date's 
shoe. The theory was that the shock 
miraculously mixed the beer and alcohol 
molecules. It was considered poor form 
for the bartender to heel the beer before 
serving it, although some experts con- 
tended that the alcohol would destroy 
any bacteria lurking on his big fat 
thumb, so what difference did it make? 
Roadhouse bartenders were not often 
moved by niceties of this or any other 
type. When I was in college a favorite 


(continued. frum page 50) 


gentleman tended bar at а joint called 
Julie's. He was esteemed because if, 
after you'd had а few, you accused him 
of shorting the amount of alcohol he 
was putting into the bottle, he'd under- 
take to get rid of you the quickest way: 
he'd pour out some beer and really load 
it up. It was a nice arrangement, satis- 
factory to all. You were shortly dead 
drunk. This had been your aim, so you 
were happy, and you were quiet, so the 
barkeep was happy. It wasn't his alky, he 
was just a hired hand. And since the 
alcohol was usually in a big dishpan, it 
Was as casy to put in two jolts as one, 
Reason for the dishpan was that it was 
quick to empty in the event of a raid. 
One movement and it was down the 
drain, whereas bottles might gurgle long 
enough for the Feds to grab a sample. 
Without a sample, they had no case. In 
the lusher speakeasies elaborate devices 
were used for this purpose, New York's 
"21," now one of the nation's most cele- 
brated restaurants, had а complicated 
arrangement involving a back-bar that 
tipped, dumping bottles, glasses and all 
into a chute rigged with sewer-gratings 
set at an angle. If anything reached the 
bottom intact it landed on scrap iron. 

When Franklin Roosevelt restored 
sanity to the land with repeal, the kick 
went out of drinking for a lot of people. 
Bragging about your hangover was no 
longer considered smart, and people be- 
gan to nurse the suspicion that you were 
а lush instead of just a fun-loving boy. 
And hangovers produced by legal booze 
were the palest imitations of the real 
thing anyway, Only prohibition rotgut 
could build a hangover that made death 
seem really and truly an attractive alter- 
native. After all, the stuff was poison by 
any standard. I've seen medical students 
spiking beer with laboratory alcohol, its 
bright blue color advertising its deadli- 
ness. Гуе seen them next morning. They 
were living, if you could call it that. 
Actually they were in a borderline state 
between hangover and total extinction. 

The Twenties were mad and gay, to 
be sure, but in a desperate kind of fash- 
ion. The country was awash with bad 
liquor and everybody drank as if there'd 
never be any more; but much more 
liquor is drunk today, I'm sure, and far 
fewer people, paradoxically, get drunk. 
And 1 think they have more fun. In the 
Twenties the idea was to be gay if it 
killed you, to raise hell because it was 
against the law, to have fun because it 
was the thing to do. It was a kind of 


leading the van, have created the legend 


that the Twenties were an uninter- 
rupted bacchanalia in worship of liquor, 
sex and money. Liquor there was, but 
less than now; money there was, but the 


boom that blew up ш 1929 was nothing 
to the boom of the 40s and 50s, and as 
for sex, it was popular to be sure; but 
as I've said, more liquor was drunk in 
the 40s and 50s, more money was made, 
and if the truth were known, probably 
more women, too. 

The flapper famed in song and story 
talked a lot about sex. She talked а lot 
about emancipation, but she was in- 
clined to prove her newly won free status 
by trying to drink like a man and dress 
like one. The shingle bob was a man's 
hair style, and if she wore short skirts, 
shapelessness was still her ideal. Her 
waistline was around her hips, to con- 
vince you that she had no hips, and the 
brassiere of the period was а 10-inch- 
wide horror called a bandeau, cinched 
up so tight, if possible, as to leave no 
telltale bulges at all, A girl built like 
Sophia Loren or Anita Ekberg was an 
object of pity. The flapper would kill 
you with the Charleston and the shag 
and the bunny hug, but she wasn't 
interested in proving she was a woman. 
Usually she was afraid, but she'd die 
before she'd admit it, so she was one of 
the great teases of all time. There were 
some notable exceptions, of course; that 
there were, 

All in all, I don't want the Twenties 
back. It was а crude, rough and vulgar 
time, as it had to be with the likes of 
Al Capone and Dion O'Banion run- 
ning the show. Still, there were moments. 
l remember a night in Evanston when 
the host offered a magnum of honest 
champagne to the couple who could stay 
under water longest in the pool. He was 
considerate of the girls, he had bathing 
caps for each of them; and he put every- 
body's clothes carefully away in a locked 
closet where they could come to no harm. 
Т remember watching two Princetons, 
stoned to the eyeballs on A and grape- 
fruit juice, fighting a duel with four-foot 
antique rapiers on a lawn near West- 
hampton, while the girl who was the 
root of it stood off to one side, slowly 
undressing in the moonlight and waiting 
for the blood-letting to be over. They 
might have killed each other at that; 
they were working like blacksmiths, but 
she stopped it finally by walking be- 
tween them, taking their swords away 
and leading them both into the rose 
garden while the rest of us watched bug- 
eyed. An unusual girl. 1 haven't seen 
anything like that lately, come to think 
of it. And I remember a place in Madi- 
son, Wisconsin, a cool, wood-paneled 
little speak to which we used to repair 
around 11 in the morning, having passed 
up our eight, nine and 10 o'clock classes, 
and have a few quiet beers until four 
o'clock came around and we could start 
on the serious drinking of the night. 
Sure, there were a few good things to be 
remembered — if you lived through it all. 


IAS ља 7 
Ribald Classic bs | 4 
Cee! اا‎ 


1 
Ы 4 H 
| 


| 


Hu AM 1 GOING TO KNOW whether my wife is still faithful to me?" as 
Monsieur Martin, "We have been married for two years, and ii 
time for her to develop interests in other men.” 

“That's easy,” said his friend Monsieur Le Blanc, the actor. “Со а 


оп a trip and have your house watched." ў 
г: 


32 


“No, I don't want to take a chance like that. It would only encou 
infidelity.” ( 

"I have an idea. I am an expert at disguises. Pretend to go away, а! Ñ 
can disguise you so well you can make love to your wife and she will nt 
know it's you. You'll know what kind of wife you have without mee 4 
the danger of throwing her into another man's arms.” 4 


“Are you sure she wouldn't recognize me?" 


— 


"Absolutely. The hardest part is the voice, but I have a device which ә) 
when put in the mouth, changes the voice completely.” G 
The husband announced to his wife he would be gone for a month, XN 

A week later, Monsieur Le Blanc presented himself at the house with а ——— 
handsome military gentleman. “This is Major Carriére. Since your hus- 
band is away, I have brought him to help you pass the weary hours." 
The pretended officer began by telling Madame Martin she was the 
most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He admired her taste, her intelli- 
gence, everything about her. 
‘The next afternoon, Monsieur Le Blanc brought a poet dressed in а 
velvet jacket and wearing a large bow tie. He was even more exaggerated 
in his compliments and convinced the lady she had become his muse. 
For two weeks the supposed officer and poet took turns calling on the 
beautiful Madame Martin and making love to her. But she was adamant. 
1n spite of the protestations of love and admiration, she would never 
permit them to do more than kiss her hand. 
At last, one afternoon, she seemed so beautiful and desirable the hus- - 
БАЕ iat ка thore. Не tore off his disguise, told his wite of his ° "| HE 
strategy, praised her for her faithfulness, and then took her upstairs to 


CIE later, at a soiree, the young wife met a university student DISGUISED 


who had a little blond mustache and wavy blond hair. She became interested 
in him at once, and soon they were meeting in her house, during the 
sunlit hours when she киште har husband on at his office. HUSBAND 
This had been going on for several months when one day there was a 
loud knock at her door. Before they had time to do anything except 
jump out of bed, her husband forced the lock and rushed into the room. 
“So!” he cried bitterly, "I have finally caught you in the act. I trusted 
you completely, and this is what you have done!” 2 
She looked bewildered and innocent. "Oh, my dear husband," she said. А new translation 
“I am as much surprised as you. I thought this young man was you in from the Histoires et Contes 
disguise!” — Translated by Hobart Ryland of J. Е. Demachy 


PLAYBOY 


SIDEWALK (continued from page 60) 


maneuvers. Obviously trouble is out of 
place in the instance of Paul Konway and 
such a rounded, generous, heel-clacking 
and softly sliding creature as Kate Barker. 
But Kate carried a burden of ambition in 
her sleek little head: an actress she was. 

“An actress I am," she murmured, turn- 
ing to examine her frowning face in the 
mirror. She smiled at it. It smiled back, 
showing its teeth. 

"A woman you are," said Paul, "and a 
man am 1, Therefore —" 

"The reason for this discussion of obvi- 
ous basic matters is that these two nice 
people had come to what seemed the part- 
ing of their ways. That is, they were in 
love. Paul wanted to marry her; she even 
seemed, in certain moods, to want to 
marry him. Frequently this suffices to 
crush a beautiful friendship. 

“You want me?" Kate said. “All right, 
go easy, you'll have me." 

“I love you, Kate." 

“Yes, but let's not hurry so. 1 have so 
many things to do first! How can I waste 
all my training, my talents, my —?" 

The misery on his face stopped her. She 
kissed him. He did not kiss back. She 
kissed him again. He kissed back. 

“I love you too,” she admitted mourn- 
fully. "Isn't it awful?" 

"Why?" Paul demanded. "Why aw- 
ful? Seems to me like it makes the world 
go around. For example, I'm writing the 
best annual report of my career at this 
very moment, figuratively speaking. Yes- 
terday, I mean. And as to my poetry, why, 
you should see the stuff on top of the stuff 
in my top drawer. It's great. Not the 
stuff on the bottom, the stuff on top." 

He knew that he had not been а good 

t but that now he was doing good 
work. Hc felt the change. 

"And I, I too," she answered, "I'm a 
better actress today. Feeling. Depth. 
Truth and Beauty." 

"So?" 

"So you kno 
downcast. "Awful." 

Paul had brought Kate good luck, it 
seemed, and this good luck for her meant 
bad luck for them. She was offered a fine 
part in a touring road company of that 
crusty, easily digestible comedy, No 
Laughing Matter. It would mean being 
away from New York — including mid- 
town, Greenwich Village and Paul Kon- 
way — Гог perhaps a year. In a year, of 
course, almost anything can happen; but 
in a year without Kate, except for flying 
visits, Paul felt that nothing but brim- 
ming misery could happen. Gray loneli- 
ness is no fun at all, as anyone who has 
tried it knows, While he considered this 
prospect, a black and lowering jut of the 
jaw came over the sensitive face of Paul 
Konway, a touch of apeness in the coun- 
tenance of the annual reporting poet. 

He was thinking: Is it better to be the 


she said with eyes 


wife of an unknown poet but well-known 
nice guy, living in Greenwich Village, 
than to have a small part in a fairly good 
road company of a well-tested play? 

He was answering his own question: 
Yes. She would be a dope to risk losing 
me. 

And under the angry apeness сгерг а 
chagrined challenge: I'm a fool if I don't 
capture her. 

"Let's go for a bus ride up Fifth Av- 
enue," he said. "Let's walk on Riverside 
Drive uptown." 

"OK," she said, "is that where you 
want to quarrel? Because, love, I see you 
have your heart set on a fight.” She took 
his arm and hugged it to her. "Let's not 
and say we did, all right? Let's look at 
the river and the boats and the Palisades 
and the Spry factory. Let's be romantic 
instead.” 

Unmollified, he said sullenly, "Change 
your shoes. Don't wear high heels if 
we're going to walk." 

“But I walk just as well in heels, you 
know I do!” 

Etcetera. This discussion careened 
rattlingly on, the eternal triangle — man, 
girl and spike heels. Unfortunately it 
could be settled by compromise, one high 
heel and one sandal, so they came to a 
national, а political, a truly statesman- 
like solution: Paul gave in, “Оп the un- 
important things," Kate had always said, 
“you give in to me. On the important 
things I will give in to you. I think that's 
only right.” 

The trouble was that lovely Kate 
seemed to reserve the right to define what 
was important and what was not. And 
now, with a primary question, she entire- 
ly disregarded their cheerful solution to 
haggling. She stuck her small nose in the 
air and said; "I need to develop my са- 
reer.” Although she was developed in 
the other ways, intellectual, emotional, 
stacked, she had that bug crooning in 
her ear: You're an actress, Kate Barker, 
you are. 

The worst of it was, as Paul had to 
agree, that the bug did not lie. She had 
talent. But this humming, buzzing bug 
could sting her away from him. 

What to do? They strolled toward 
Fifth Avenue, Paul cursing Thespis and 
Dionysus and Sophocles and Shakespeare 
and Chekhov and Wilfred J. Wilfred, 
Jr. the distinguished author of No 
Laughing Matter. It did not help. Kate 
went smartly by his side. She hoped that 
Paul would come to Understand. (See 
"Surrender" in any determined woman's 
secret inner dictionary.) They sat si- 
1еп у in the bus, the dusk brimming up 
from the windy streets, down the pink, 
smoke-grazed, misty sky of Manhattan 
afternoons. They looked mournfully into 
cach other's eyes with that age-old effort 
of lovers to read the future and find it 


perfect, permanent, although no human 
effort can be permanent. She sighed. He 
sighed. 

They were in danger of speaking po- 
etry, on the brink, teetering, when the 
bus leapt forward and a man in a black 
coat with a fur collar banged his fist 
against the door, shouting, “Wait! Stop! 
You, you, уои —" to the bus driver, 
who smiled triumphantly through thin 
lips as he churned through the traffic. 
The spell was modified. The world was 
still with them. Why the devil should 
that man wear a coat with a fur collar 
on such a fine autumn afternoon? 

They got down from the bus. Paul, 
who was wearing sensible shoes, stumbled 
and nearly fell. Kate, who was wearing 
three-inch heels, caught his elbow. “Oh 
the breeze from the Hudson," she said. 
"Really nice." 

"They walked. 

Hard, Paul decided. Firm. Make up 
your mind irrevocably, That was a hard 
word to think, so he pronounced it aloud 
for emphasis: “Irrevocably.” 

"Thats the George Washington 
Bridge," said Kate. “Well-known archi- 
tectural feat. International admiration. 
Very pretty." 

Hard, firm, even angry, Paul thought. 
And so, standing there on the crisp au- 
tumn grass in early evening, looking out 
over the reflected black waters of the 
river, with all the island at their back 
and the future before them, hard, firm 
and angry, he moved to shake her (mas 
terfully), and did; but the shake — that 
very mind-made-up shake —changed mid- 
air, midthought, to a mere caress. What 
other way is there to love? 

The masterful way. Paul had difficulty 
getting to it. 

Strongly heated, healthy, Kate leaned 
against him. She was his, she was all his, 
her hand and shoulder touched him, the 
long length of her body under the rain. 
coat touched him, she was not his. She 
was an actress. 

“By God you'll stay!” he shouted. 

“Oh dear, oh dear,” she said in tender 
dismay, moving away slightly. He re- 
gretted the vanished sweetness of their 
stroll by the park, but he was furious 
with plans for her, “Still thinking about 
that? But I'll see you frequently, Paul.” 
The word freee-quently made a whistling 
shrill ring in his ears. 

“Who's more important, me or No 
Laughing Matter?” 

"You are, of course, silly, but that's 
my career. How'd you like it if 1 asked 
you to stop writing poetry? What is it 
you've been so busy writing lately, any- 
way?" 

"There's no comparison. 1t doesn't 
interfere with us. In fact, it — it — it —" 
And he recognized the silliness of it. “It 
makes me a better man for you." 

"I know." She touched his cheek. She 

(continued on page 107) 


WHITHER JAZZ? Television, rodio, movies, fire houses, concert 
halls, steamboots, college campuses, oircraft corriers, golf courses, 
theatres and shopping centers—thot's whither. Indeed, [отт hos 
become so omnipresent that one funny fellow we know hos come 
up with yet another cotchy locale: why not, he asks, ploy jozz in 
dark, smoky nightclubs? 

With all that jozz coming о! you during the year, it's now time 
to pick your own fovorites for the 1960 Playboy All-Star Jozz 
Bond. And you'll be giving o real solute to the jazz musicions you 
like best when you vote for them in the fourth annual Playboy All- 
Stor Jozz Poll, for o victory in the Ployboy Poll is one of jozzdom's 
loftiest and most sought-after honors, By far the biggest and bright- 
est poll around, it's also the only торг jozz contest conducted out- 


vote for your favorites for the 
4th playboy all-star jazz band 


———————————— CUT ALONG THIS ИМЕ. ------------------ ------ 


LEADER TRUMPET O Allen Smith О Tommy Pederson 

(Please check one.) (Please check four.) g Rex severe Р Б Tenny Perd 
Г) Manny Albam Red Allen I айры ا اوسر و پا‎ 
E Ray Anthony B Cat Anderson О Clark Terry C Jack Tenparden 
О Harry Arnold О Ray Anthony B 9 Brit we vt 
О Count Basie Louis Annstrong I О m t Enid 
E) Buddy Bregman Frank Assunto D Û Trummy Young 
© Les Brown Chet Baker ü = 


О Ray Conniff 
O Johnny Dankworth 


Shorty Baker 
Ruby Braft TROMBONE 


[nim mm 


0 Frank DeVol Billy Butterfield (Please check four.) 
О Kurt Edelhagen Donald Byrd О Fred Assunto 
0 Les Elgart Conte Candoli О Mitt Bernhart ALTO SAX 


О Duke Ellington Pete Candoli (Please check two.) 


uke J Zande Eddie Bert 
H Bercy Faith Buck Clayton E]. Bah Brockmeyer Mi Belleuo ^ irn 
0) Maynard Ferguson Miles Davis Б Бык тила. Earl Bostic 
E] Jerry Fielding Wild Bill Davison Я jimmy Сапа Pete Brown 
О Terry Gibbs г Sidney De Paris Н рту Des Benny Carter 
E] Dizay Gillespie Kenny Dorham Wilbur De Paris Ornette Coleman 
Û Benny Goodman Harry Edis Vic Dickenson Paul Desmond 
Lionel Hampton oy Eldridge Rob Enevoldsen Lou Donaldson 


О Ted Heath Don Elliott Carl Fontana Herb Geller 


E| Woody Herman Ron Sager Curtis Fuller Gone 
Al Gra johnny ges 
E Hany [ате Maynard Ferguson Benny SHES IS Konitz 


О Gordon Jenkins 
Г] Quincy jones 
С Stan Kenton 
Û Elliot Lawrence 


Dizzy Gillespie 
Don Goldie 
Joe Gordon 
Bobby Hackett 
Al Hirt 

Harry James 
Jonah Jones 
Blue Mitchell 


John La Porta 
Charlie Mariano 
Hal McKusick 
Jackie McLean 
james Moody 
ennie Niehaus 
Art Pepper 
Gene Quill 


Urbie Green 

Slide Hampton 
Herbie Harper 
Bill Harris 

J. ©. Higginbotham 
Conrad Janis 

J. J. Johnson 
Jimmy Knepper 


О0000000000000000000000000000/ 


О Ray McKinley 


0000000000000000000000000 


О00000050000000000000000/ 


© Thelonious Monk Г] Ray Nance Kent Larsen Jerome Richardson 
© Herb Pomeroy О Joe Newman ‘Abe Lincoln Hymie Sherer 

О Boyd Raeburn О Red Nichols Melba Liston Bud Shank 

0 Johnny Richards О Sam Noto Don Luer Zoot Sims 

О Nelson Riddle [ Red Rodney Murray McEachern Willie Smith 

О Shorty Rogers О Shorty Rogers Lou McGarity [Л Sonny Stitt 

О Pete Rugolo O Bob Scobey Buddy Morrow О Phil Woods 

О Paul Weston O Charlie Shavers Turk Murphy Q 

о == О Jack Sheldon Kid Ory n 89 


8 


е 
9 ao x 
` 


side of the music trade. The most popular jazzmen in each со!е- 
gory—as determined by you—will receive the coveted sterling 
silver Playboy Jazz Medal; the winners will be invited to blow at 
the next Playboy Jozz Festival ond appear in the fourth Playboy 
Jazz All-Stars twa-disc album, o product of intra-industry coap- 
eration among the nation's leading recording companies and 
issued by PLAYBOY os a non-profit, annual contribution to the world 
of jozz. 

To help moke the 1960 poll the most sporkling yet, everyone 
submitting а ballot will have an opportunity to win a copy of the 
second Playboy Jazz All-Stars album. One hundred voters will be 
chosen at rondom from among the jazz ballots received, and will 
b sent the handsome two-disc album featuring the winners of the 
second annual poll—ot! по chorge. It matters not how yau vote— 
merely sending your ballot automatically puts you among those 
eligible for the album. So simply read the instructions that follow, 
check your favarite jazzmen in the space provided and get your 
ballot in before the countdown closes. 

1. The official four-page jazz ballot is printed below. The 
artists thereon have been selected by a Nominoting Board сот- 
posed of jazz editors, promoters, representbtives of the mojor 
recording companies and winners of last year's poll. They hove 
nominated the jazzmen they consider to hove been outstanding in 
the past year. Their nominations should serve solely as an oid ta 
your recallection of jazz artists, nat a guide on how ta vate. You 


PIANO 
(Please check one.) 

Toshiko Akiyoshi 
Mose Allison 
Count Basie 
Dave Brubeck 
Ray Bryant 
Barbara Carroll 
Sonny Clark 
Cy Coleman 
Eddie Costa 
Duke Ellington 
Bill Evans 
Tommy Flanagan 
Russ Freeman 
Freddie Gambrell 
Red Garland 
Erroll Garner 
Hampton Hawes 


- ---- -=---------- CUT ALONG THIS LINE - 
TENOR SAX BARITONE SAX 
(Please check two.) (Please check one.) 
Gene Ammons С Pepper Adams 
Georgie Auld С Ernie Caceres 
John Bonnie E] Harry Carney 
Al Cohn С Al Cohn 
George Coleman Г] Charles Fowlkes 
John Coltrane О Jimmy Giuffre 
Bob Cooper О Lars Cullin 
Bud Freeman E] Frank Morelli 
Stan Getz E] Gerry Mulligan 
jimmy Giuffre Г] Cecil Payne 
еппу Golson С Ronnie Ross 
Paul Gonsalves O Tony Scott 
John Griffin С Bud Shank 
Coleman Hawkins E] Jack Washington 
Bill Holman DII 
obb) CLARINET 
Richie Kamuca (Please check one.) 


Harold Land 
Yusef Lateef 
Sammy Margolis 
Warne Marsh 
Eddie Miller 
Hank Mobley 
Jack Montrose 


Barney Bigard 
Buddy Collette 
Buddy DeFranco 
Pete Fountain 
Jimmy Giuffre 
Benny Goodman 
Edmond Hall 


andy Mosse d Hali 
Vido Musso immy Hamilton 
Dave Pell Woody Herman 
Bill Perkins Paul Horn 


Pcanuts Hucko 
Rolf Kuhn 
John La Porta 
George Lewis 
Matty Matlock 
Sam Most 

Phil Nimmons 
Art Pepper 

Pee Wee Russell 
Tony Scott 

Bill Smith 

Sol Yaged 


Flip Phillips 
Paul Quinichete 
Sonny Rollins 
Zoot Sims 

Sonny Stitt 
Buddy Tate 

Sam Taylor 
Lucky Thompson 
Charlie Ventura 
Ben Webster 


00000000000000000000000000000000000000000 


00000000000000000000000 


00000000000000000000000000000000000000000 


Eddie Heywood 
Eddie Higgins 
Earl Hines 
Ahmad Jamal 
Pete Jolly 
Hank Jones 


Lou Levy 

john Lewis 

amsey Lewis 
Dick Marx 
Dave McKenna 
Marian McPartland 
Thelonious Monk 
Marty Napoleon 
Phineas Newborn, Jı 
Oscar Peterson 
Bud Powell 
André Previn 
Jimmy Rowles 
George Shearing 


00000000000 


= 


00000000000000000000000000000 


Nina Simone 

joe Sullivan 

illy Taylor 
Lennie Tristano 
Mal Waldron 
Randy Weston 
Roger Williams 
Teddy Wilson 


GUITAR 

(Please check one.) 
Laurindo Almeida 
Irving Ashby 
George B: 
Billy Baw 
Kenny Burrell 
Charlie Byrd 
Eddie Condon 
Bo Diddley 
Frank D'Rone 
Herb Ellis 
Tal Farlow 
Barry Galbraith 
Freddie Green 
Jim Hall 
Bill Harris 
Barney Kessel 
Mundcll Lowe 
Oscar Moore 
Les Paul 
John Pisano 
Joe Рипа 
Jimmy Raney 
Howard Roberts 
Sal Salvador 
Johnny Smith 
George Van Eps 
Al Viola 
Chuck Wayne 


may vote for any living artists in the jazz field. 

2. The nominees have been divided into categories which to- 
gether comprise the 1960 Playboy All-Star Jazz Band. In some 
cotegories you moy vote for more than one musician (e.g., trumpe! 
trombone) because bands normally hove more than one of these 
instruments, Be sure to cast the correct number of votes: too many 
in o particular cotegory will disquolify all your votes in that 
cotegory. 

3. If you wish to vote for on artist who oppears on the bollot, 
simply ploce on X in the box before his name. If you wish to vote 
for an ortis! whose name wos overlooked by the Nominating 
Boord, just write his name in the spoce provided ct the bottom of 
the cotegory and place an X in the box before it. 

4. The leader you select should be currently conducting a bond 
of ot least eight pieces. He, and all your other choices, should be 
picked beccuse you feel tha! they hove been the most outstanding 
in [022 in the past 12 months. 

5. Use all four poges of the ballo! ond print your nome and 
oddress on the last page. You moy cost only one complete bollot 
їп the poll, ond thot must carry your correct name and oddress if 
your vote is to be counted. This informotion will also be necessary 
if you ore chosen to receive one of the 100 free Playboy Jazz 
All-Stars albums. 

6. Cut your four-poge bollot along the dotted lines and той 
it to PLAYBOY JAZZ POLL, 232 E. Ohio, Chicago 11, Ilinois 
Bollots must be postmarked before November 1, 1959 in order to 
qualify, so ge! yours in the mail todoy. The results of the fourth 
onnual Ployboy Jazz Poll will appear in the Februory 1960 issue. 


BASS DRUMS 
(Please check one.) (Please check one.) 
O Don Bagley С Dave Bailey 
O Norman Bates D] Ray Bauduc 
О Joe Benjamin E] Louis Bellso 
Û Ray Brown Û Ан Blakey 
О Monty Budwig О Marvin Bonessa 
Û Paul Ct ers О Roy Burns 
Û Buddy Clark O Candido 
О Curtis Counce О Kenny < 
Û Israel Crosby О Cory Cole 
[ О Barrett De 
О Johnny Frigo О Joc Dod 
О Squire Gersh © Nick Fatool 
Ё [m] k Flores 
[ [m] Hamilton 
[ J J.C. Heard 
[ Г] G. T. Hogan 
O Mil Hinton С Red Holt 
Г) Chubby Jack Q Oliver Jackson 
O Clarence Jos O Osie Johnson 
Û] Teddy Kotick О Elvin Jones 
Scotty LaFaro © Jo Jones 
Wendell Marshall Û Philly Joe Jones 
Г) M Mekibbe О Connie Кау 
Charlie Mingus E] Gene Kr 
Û Red Mitchell О Don Lamond 
O Stan Lev 
[ nery O Mel Lewis 
O George Morrow CÎ Shelly Manne 
G Oscar Pettiford O Lawrence Marable 
[ Howard Rumsey О Jerry McKenzie 
Те Safranski О Joe Morello 
Û] Arvell Shaw О Sonny Рау 
O Carson Smith С Charlic Persip 
[ О Buddy Rich 
[ O Max Roach 
O Wilbur Wai O An Taylor 
O Doug Watkins О Ed Thigpen 
y Woode О Ronnie Verrell 
О С George Weuling 


Sam Woodyard 


a 


MISC. INSTRUMENT 


000000000 000000 


000000 0000000000000900000 


(Please check onc.) 
Peter Appleyard, vibes 
Candido, bongo 
Teddy Charles. vibes 
Buddy Collette. flute 
Bob Cooper. obor 
Don Elliott, vibes ё 
mellophone 
Victor Felden 
Johuny Frigo. violin 
у Gibbs, vibes 
Graas, French horn 
1 Hampton. vibes 
aul Horn, flute 
Milt Jackson, vibes 
Fred Katz. cello 
Мое Koffman. flute 


у. Soprano sax 


vibes 


Red Norvo, vibes 
Tito Puente, timbales 


Joe Rushton, bass sax 
Bud Shank, flute 
Harry Sheppard, vibes 
Jimmy Smith, organ 
Stull Smith, violin 


Les Strand, organ 

Clark Terry, Flagelhorn 
Jean Toots” Thiclemans, 
harmonica 

Sir Charles Thompson, organ 
Cal Tjader, vibes 

Су Touf, bass trumpet 

Art Van Damme. accordion 
Frank Wess, flute 


[mmm mmm mm mmm mmmmmmmmmmmm|mm|mm mmm m mm|m|mim| 


000000 


MALE VOCALIST 
(Please check one.) 

David Allen 

Louis Arms 
И ker 

ry Belafonte 

Tony [B t 


] Brook Benton 


Pat Boone 
Mex Bradford 
Ray Charles 


Bobby Darin 
Sammy Davis, Jr. 
Matt Dennis 
Fats Domino 
Frank D'Rone 
Billy Ecksti 

Jesse Full 
Buddy Greco 
Clancy Hayes 
Jon Hendricks 
Al Hibbler 
Frankie Laine 
Steve Lawrence 
Tommy Leonetti 
Johnny Mathis 


Bobby Troup 
Joe Turner 
Andy Willia 
Joc Will 


91 


n npn уана нин -----------------------8 CUT ALONG THIS LINE 
FEMALE VOCALIST О Annie Ross 
(Please check one.) О Felicia Sanders 


2 


NOMINATING BOARD: Louis Armstrong, Chet Baker, Count 


Basie, Едг} Bostic, Bob Brookmeyer, Ray Brown, Dave Brubeck, 
Miles Dovis, Раш! Desmond, Ello Fitzgerold, Four Freshmen, Erroll 
Gorner, Stan Getz, Dizzy Gillespie, Jimmy Givffre, Benny Good- 
man, Lionel Hompton, Coleman Hawkins, Hi-Lo's, Milt Jackson, J. J. 
Johnson, Stan Kenton, Barney Kessel, Shelly Monne, Gerry Mulli- 
gon, Oscar Peterson, Sonny Rollins, Frank Sinotro, Koi Winding; 
Rudi Meyer, Birdlond; Fronk Holzfeind, Blue Note; Jud Milton, 
KROD, Е Paso, Техоз Louis L Lorillard, Newport Jozz Festival; 
John Mehegan, New York Herald Tribune; Leonord Feother, PLAY- 
BOY; Don Gold, Ployboy Jozz Festival; Wilder Hobson, Saturday 
Review; Creed Taylor, ABC-Poromount Records; Jack Tracy, Argo; 
Nesuhi Ertegun, Atlontic; Sidney Frey, Audio Fidelity; Dove 
Cavonough, Capitol; Irving Townsend, Columbio; Les Koen 
Contemporary; Dovid Stuort, Good Time Jozz; Art Tolmodge, 

Joy Finegold, Park Recording Co.; Bob Weinstock, 

Fred Reynolds, Bill Simon, RCA Victor; Bill Grover, Jr., 
Riverside; Teddy Reig, Roulette; George Wein, Storyville; John 
Hammond, Vonguard; Normon Granz, Verve; George Avokion, 
Warner Bros. Records; Richord Bock, World Pacific. 


O Ernestine Anderson О m na M 
O Claire Austin [ ] e 
n M E] Keely Smith 
Г) Connee Boswell E d 
Û Jackie Cain Kev Man 
БЫ dune Quis Dakota Staton 
ES SURE Dane C) Pat Suzuki 
еа [j Svivia Syms 
DB Попа Пау. Sarah Vaughan 
О ario ala O Dinah Washington 
в eet син. О Margaret Whiting 
О Frances Fave В Lee Wiley 
D Ella Fitzgerald 
а INSTRUMENTAL COMBO 
| Please check one.) 
[ Г] Louis Armstrong MI Stars 
O Lena Horne Û Australian Jazz Quintet 
© Helen Humes O Chet Baker Quintet 
Û Lurlean Hunter Г] Art Blake the 
O Ma Jackson Jazz Messengers 
D Beverly Kelly C) Dave Brubeck Quartet 


Beverly Kenney 
Teddi K 
р 


Georg Brunis Dixicland Band 
Kenny Burrell Trio 
1 


Г] Bar 
Abbey Lincoln Су Coleman Trio 
Julie London Orneuc Coleman € 
Mary Анн MeCall [^ Buddy Collette Qu. 
ie Mc Rac 
bel Mercer [ 
Helen Merrill [ 
Jase №. У азап E 
Helen OC сей [s 
[ 


Buddy 
Wilbur De Paris Sextet 
Dukes of Divieland 
Virehouse Five plus 2 
Red Garland Trio 
Erroll Garner Trio 

Stan Getz Quintet 
Jimmy Giulfre Trio 
Chico Hamilton Quintet 


Rath Chav 
Pani Pag 
Lucy Reed [ 


мш R 


киз [u 


Eddie Hig 
Ah 


[ 

[s ad Jama 

Û J. J. Johnson Quintet 

Û Jonah Jones О 

E] Gene Krupa € 

О Ramsey Lewis Trio 

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THE EDITORS 
OF PLAYBOY 
PROUDLY PRESENT 


TWO 


EXTRAORDINARY 
VOLUMES 

OF 
ENTERTAINMENT 


Е 


Ё БЕ 
ҮНҮН 


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ЕЕН 


ieee 
Hie 


26 
HI 


H 
I 
\ 


THE PERMANENT PLAYBOY 


Edited by Roy Russell; published by Crown 
Publishers, Inc. All the best fiction, the most pro- 
vocative articles, the most amusing humor and 
satire from PLAYBOY's first holf-dozen years 
together in one handsome hard-cover book. By 
such outstonding writers as NELSON ALGREN, 
CHARLES BEAUMONT, RAY BRADBURY, ER- 
SKINE CALDWELL, JOHN COLLIER, ADRIAN 
CONAN DOYLE, BEN HECHT, HERBERT GOLD, 
JAMES JONES, JACK KEROUAC, GERALD 
KERSH, SHEPHERD MEAD, AL MORGAN, 
BUDD SCHULBERG, H. ALLEN SMITH, ROBERT 
PAUL SMITH, JOHN STEINBECK, Р. С. WODE- 
HOUSE, PHILIP WYLIE, etc. 52 greot pieces in 
all, including all-time favorites like The Fly, 
The Pious Pornographers, The Beat Mystique, 
The Distributor, Bird, The Postpaid Poet, Vic- 
tory Parade, The Noise, What's Become of 
Your Creature?, Black Country, and mony more. 


THE PLAYBOY 
CARTOON ALBUM 


Edited by Hugh M. Hefner; published by 
Crown Publishers, Inc. Here, in one dozzling 
cornucopia of fun ond color, are all the most 
sophisticated, audocious, outrageous, funniest 
cortoons from PLAYBOY's first holf-dozen 
yeors. This hondsome hard-cover book includes 
the freshest, most provocotive cartoon wit be- 
ing creoted in America today. Contributors 
include JACK COLE, JACK DAVIS, JOHN 
DEMPSEY, JULES FEIFFER, PHIL INTERLANDI, 
GARDNER REA, ARNOLD ROTH, SHEL SILVER- 
STEIN, CLAUDE SMITH, TON SMITS, ERIC 
SOKOL, AL STINE, R. TAYLOR, GAHAN WIL- 
SON, ond mony others. 650 cartoons—more 
than 60 in full color—hond-picked for unin- 
hibited, unparolleled good times. For brow- 
to-brow browsing, for enlivening o soirée, for 
purely private enjoyment, this treasure-trove 
of PLAYBOY humor simply cannot be topped. 


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SILVERSTEIN 
IN 
AFRICA 


fa V dl 


FAS 


Wh 
Ni A 


LVS М ili is M л! МИА 7 


THE FABLED THRILLS Of big-game hunt 
ing in Africa are too enticing for the 
adventurer tO re for long. 
after sketching the Arabs, 
Iverstein went on sa He 
proved hunter enough to fell 
buffalo, called the most dangerous ga 

As our regular readers well know Бу 


AYHOY these рам two ye 
tures in Japan, Scandi- 
rance, Russia, ltaly, 
and Araby with 
scratch on the tough Silverstein 


hide (he doesn't count the minor wound 
received in a Spanish bullring). But, re- 
this 


from safari in Cental 


, drivin 


Afri 
road to Kampa 


» Shel and 
photographer-friend Pat Morin collided 
head on with а truck. full of natives 
Both men were badly hurt, Shel with his 
side caved in and left leg slashed open. 
They asked the natives to take them to 
а hospital, but the aborigines would do 


| 


ШАЛ ШЇ 


nothing without payment, and the 
minds of the two men were so fogged by 
shock they couldn't remember where 
they had put their money. The natives 
left them lying by the side of the road. 
Hours passed under the white-hot 
African sun and the two men, unable 
to move, calculated that they would al- 
most certainly die from their wounds and 
exposure, if prowling lions, drawn by 
the scent of blood, didn't them first. 
Near dusk, а car carrying a Scottish 
couple came down the road. They took 
the injured pair 40 miles over a rough 
and rocky road to a tiny four-bed hos- 
pital at Fort Portal el was hospital- 
ized for three months; he came out of 
the experience 50 pounds lighter, his 
beard cight inches longer, toting а cane 
for à persistent, perhaps perpetual limp. 
But the Silverstein spirit remained un- 
daunted: he brought back to the U.S. 
sketch pad full of his humorous personal 
impressions of the Dark Continent. 


shel courts danger as a "Mg hunter on а 


"To be honest with you, Silverstein, 
you've given me the greatest challenge 
in my 25 years as a white hunter. 
I've found lions for Hemingway... 
I've found white rhino for Gunther... 
I've found Mau Mau for Ruark... 
But 18-year-old blue-eyed blondes— 
that's really going to take some doing." 


"Now these little white things 
called aspirins. You take two with a 
glass of water and in 
10 minutes...headache gone!" 


Г И) huis 


Ais GA 


= al 


"What do you mean — you just remembered 
you can't stand the sight of blood?!" 


X 
WV | 
| i | wu 


у] n l^ 
VOAN 


‘Having just felled а water buffalo, Silverstein strikes the 
classic pose of the triumphant hunter. The feat was accom- 
plished in Ubangi country, where Shel hoped to see the fabled 


"...Апа if you see 
saucer-lipped women. He saw none. “Progress!” he snorted. чога 


Edgar Rice Burroughs, 
tell him for me 
he's an ungrateful, cheap, 
plagiarizing, tnieving...." 


2 
=. 


d 


GOMES NEE 
ЕМ)? ee 
Е 


OS 
күзе 


590 


е \ 
NM dz. IA C 

\ 1 EZ j M 
ГАХ 


"I guess I'd better explain this in a hurry. 
This is the bolt...after each round you pull it back 
and the shell ejects. This is your rear sight P 
you line this up with your front sight, Ко 
allowing for windage апа...." 


"I send your message to Gulu, Bwana... 
Gulu drummer relay message to Mombasa... 
Mombasa drummer relay message to Kantaga... 
Kantaga drummer relay message to Usumbura... 
Usumbura has no drummer, so they telephone 
message to Kampala...Kampala drummer...." 


Rifle in hand, cartoonist Silverstein wades in the 
hippo-infested waters of Lake George in Uganda. 


"Right between the eyes. Hov's that for fancy shooting?!" 


"It just wouldn't work out, Kzabz— 
you have your world and I have mine!" 


Watusi children contribute to Shel's sketch pad. Shel claims 
tall os they were in King So 


the adult Watusi “aren't as King Sol- 
omon's Mines." He also claims "the pygmies aren't as short." 


E] 
yo 
lerem 
OL 7 
f 
^ 
i y? 
а 
ا‎ — I ы 


| № A shattered Silverstein was nursed back to health in this min- 
iature four-bed hospital, manned by one English doctor, one 
[| Germarmnurse, and natives. He passed the time sketching. 


-..And so the good kind lion let the little mousey go free 
and later when the lion was trapped in a big net 
and couldn't get loose, the grateful mousey came to his aid 
and gnawed through the net and saved his life and...." 


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VAMPIRE 


(continued [rom page 52) 
hwokenly, “Г simply cannot understand 
у! ply 


"Come, sit, sit." Doctor Vares pressed 
the older man into à chair, grimacing at 
the pallor of him. Nervously, his fingers 
n for Gheria's pulse beat 
Never mind me,” protested Gheria 
“Ivy Alexis we must help." He pressed а 
hand. across his eyes 
"Yet how?" he said 

He made no resistance as the younger 
undid his collar and examined his 


You, 100," said Vares, sickened 

“What does that matter?" Gheria 
clutched at ihe yo man's hand 

My friend, my dearest friend," he said, 

tell me that it is not I! Do / do this 
hideous thing to herz" 

Vares looked. confounded. "You?" he 
stid. "Тин —" 

"p know, 1 know," said Gheria, “I, 
myself, have been ked. Yet nothing 
follows, Michael! What breed of horror 
is this whieh cannot be impeded? From 
what unholy place. does it emerge? I've 
had the countryside examined foot by 
foot, every ransacked, every 
erypt inspec 


Michael, there 
is nothing! Yet, there is something — 
something whieh assaults us nightly, 
draining us of life, The village is en 
цией by terror = and Las well! I never 
see this creature, never hear it! Yet, every 
morning, | find my beloved wile —" 

Vires! Face was drawn and pallid now 
Не stared intently at the older man 
"What am I ge do, my friend? 
aded Сега, “How am E to save her?" 
Vares had no answer 


pl 


"How long has she — been like this?" 
asked Vares, He could not. remove his 
stricken gaze Пот the whiteness of 
Alexis’ Face. 

“For days" said. Сега. 
gression has been constant" 

Dr. Vares put. down Alexis’ Пасс 
hand. “Why did you not tell me sooner?” 
he asked. 

“I thought the matter 
handled," Gheria answered, 
know now chat it = cannot,” 

Vares shuddered, "Bur, surely — 
began 

There is nothing left to be done,” 
said Свена, “Everything has been tried, 
everything! He stumbled to the win 
sared out bleakly 
“And 
he murmured, "and we are help 
ен” 
ot helpless, Petre 
ving smile 


“The retro. 


could be 
faintly, “1 


dow and into the 


deepening night now it c 


again. 


less 


* Vares forced. a 
hand upon the older man's shoulder. "1 


» his lips and laid. his 


will waich her tonight. 
I's useless," 


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"Not at all, my friend," said Vares, 
nervously. "And now you must sleep. 
"I will not leave her," said Ghe 


“But you need rest. 


"I cannot leave.” said Gheria, "J will 
not be separated from her 
Vares nodded. “ОГ course," he said 


“We will share the hours of watching 
then.” 

Gheria hed. "We can try,” he said, 
but there was no sound ol hope in his 
voice, 

Some 20 minutes later, he returned 
with an urn of steaming collec which was 
barely possible to smell through the 
heavy mist of garlic fumes which bung 
in the air. Trudging to the bed, Свена 
set down the tray. Dr. Vares had drawn 
e the bed. 

И watch first," he said. "You sleep, 
Petre.” 

“It would do no good to try," said 
Gheria. Не held a cup beneath the 
spigot and the collee gurgled out like 
smoking ebony 

“Thank you,” murmured Vares as the 
сир was handed to him. Свена nodded 
once and drew himself a cupful before 
he ха 
"E do not 


ow what will happen to 
ture is not destroyed.” 
е paralyzed by 


terror. 
“Has it = be 
es 


n elsewhere in the vil- 


ked hi 


Gheria sighed exhaustedly. “Why need 
it go elsewhere?” he said. "It is findin 
all и — craves within these walls.” Hc 
stared despondently at Alexis. "When 
we are gone,” he said, “it will go else- 
where. The people know that and are 

vaiting for i 
Vares set down his cup and rubbed 

eyes. 

“It seems impossible,” he said. "that 
we, practitioners of a science, should be 
unable to —" 

“What can science effect against it 
said Gheria, "Science which will not even 
admit its existence? We could bring, into 
this very room, the foremost scientists of 
the world and they would say — my 
friends, you have been deluded. There 
is no vampire, MI is mere trickery.” 
Gheria stopped and looked. intently 
the you r man. He said, Michael" 
Vares’ breath was slow and heavy. Ри 
ting down his cup of untouched coffee, 
Gheria stood and moved to where Vares 
sat slumped in his chair. Не pressed 


back an eyelid, looked down briefly 


the 


less pupil, then withdrew lı 
hand. The drug was quick, he thought. 
And most effective. Vares would be i 
sensible for more than time enough. 
Moving to the closet, Gheria drew 
down his bag and carried it to the bed 
He tore Alexis nightdress from her up- 
per body and. with n seconds, had drawn 
nother syringe [ull of her blood: this 


would be the last withdrawal, fortu 
nately. Stanching the wound, he took the 
syringe to Vares and emptied it into the 
man's mouth, smearing it across 
his lips and teeth. 

That done, he strode to the door and 
unlocked it. Returni to Vares, he 
raised and carried him into the hall. 
Karel would not aw п: а small amount 
of opiate in bis food һай seen to that. 
Gheria labored down the steps beneath 
the weight of Vares’ body. In the darkest 
corner of the cellar, a wooden Casket 
waited for the younger man. There he 
would lie until the following morning 
when the taught Dr. Petre i 
would, with sudden inspiration, order 
id cellar оп 

possibility 


Karel to search the attic а 
the 


remote, nay tastic 


Ten minutes later, Gheria was back in 
the bedroom checking Alexis’ pulse beat. 
It was active enough: she would survive. 
The pain and torturing horror she had 
undergone would be punishment enough 
for her. As for Vares... 

Dr. Gheria smiled in pleasure for the 
first time since Alexis and he had. re- 
turned from Cluj at the end of the sum: 
mer. Dear spirits in heaven, would it not 
besheer enchantment to watch old Karel 
drive a stake through Michael ? 
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joun! cél-ing їп thé déc! biss 
(continued from page 83) 
the Naturalization of the Loan Word." 


Words are generally fitted into the 
sound pattern of the borrowing lan- 
guage to the point where they cannot be 
distinguished from native words , 


and, apparently, debris had undergone 
a desert change in the Southwestern air 
I had read elsewhere 


The formative system of the language 
has become greatly restricted. If а new 
word is wanted, instead of producing it 
from elements already existing in Eng- 
lish, we must often go to the Latin or 
Greek 


and, sure enough, the Academi 
the Airways continued with: “The 
ager tried to get smart with me, but 1 
don't Cato to nobody." 

An example of borrowing fror 
classical to make a new word? An 
sion to the austere old Roman's 1 
of foreign pomp? Hard to say on short 
inspection. Other speech elements in 
his later discourse suggest that this for 
mation may owe more to the creative 
process proposed by Lewis Carroll, the 
constructing of portmanteau words to 
combine two meanings in one word — 
slithy for slimy and lithe; mimsy for 
miserable and. flimsy. Did we have here 
a case of Cato for cater to and kowtow 
to? V of the neologism in the 
negative supports this latter. conclusion. 
I had to leave the problem for later 
analysis because he was rushing along, 
scattering philological derbiss in his 


5 use 


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around them lousy Europea s just 
swole "em worse, so as soon as this little 
frog backed outen the room, I taken off 
my shoes and 1 woulda thrun myself in 
the sack, but I reined up. 1 remembered 


"s 


Wt fixing to go out on 
Paris all bed-raggled," 
Ву now 1 in а fever. 
gular mine for a philologist. No, not 
с, а spewing volcano. 1 way frantic 
ally scribbling in my notebook 
“Mechanized calvary " Thats 
more in the province of росту than of 
philology. One painful 
jounceling (is it onomatopoeia, or a 
nd mangling?) 
leg veins swell and 
protest. А Golgotha on 


"The guy was 


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talis who have not shackled the 
imagination with nitpicking grammati- 
cal purism. Even after à year in € 
many, his unfeucred spirit rose above 
the prefix be- as а Germanic morpheme 
operative in English in lineal descent 
Irom Anglo-Saxon. He had not been 
stationed in Iceland. and so it is un- 
likely that һе | traced. the. evolution 
of the Old. Norse dralla to its present 
form ol draggle as a frequentative of 
«таз. Vo him leaped the vision of a last 
clean. uniform all т 
of rag and rumpled) by rolling он 
Bed-raggled clothes simply looked as 
though they had been slept in 

coulda had. the id mash out à 
clothes for me," he said, "but I 
ain't never been much for having serv 
ants. When somebody waits on me it 
makes me wreathe inside. Especially a 
lady, I won't even. let my mom lawn 
the grass when I'm home." 

"Lawn the gras” is a refreshing and 
reassuring sign that among the veom; 
ry, unbeknownst to Madison Avenue 
and the Pentagon, the people are still 
using the potent Functions age d 
the hardy old way. When ту seatmate, 
amd presumably his kin and friends, 
want to Loss à un into the verb spot 
D sentence. they do it without pre 
tentious рі р, Fm. glad. his mom 
doesn't lawnize the grass. 


few 


“I wanted to see Paris, but 1 couldn't 
walk because the bus from ттапу 1 
come in was one of them doom cars, so 
and I had sive myself the. back evil.” 

Smoky ions of a devil's chariot rid- 
ng through nightmare landscapes came 
10 my mind. “Doom car?” 1 asked. 

"Sure. You know. With 
doom. That's how I came to get th 
evil, stretching and rubberneckin 
the sights. 

"Back evil " Well, what, after all, 
is mal à la [êle . . mal de тех... mal 
au coem? 1 made и note to try to t 
this construction. back to his ancestor's 
first impact with the Norman conquer 


big glass 
1 


mal аи dos around the E ish country- 
side 

“The сайн was the 
rambleshacky old tub 1 ever seen 

The imagemaker way back at work 
Rambleshacky tor a French taxicab: is 
worthy of moving into the speechwavs. 
There is nothing more like а shack 
which rambles than an ancient. G7 
Renault colored the same dull maroon or 
as the abandoned cabins. falling ap 
among the shrinking cotton acres of the 
Southwest. 

“We tawdled along down the Champs 
till this dame run across in front of us. 
She bunked her toe on the curb and fell. 
I shoved a | forkful of that funny money 


«ab 1 most 


at the cabby 
her up. She had sk 


па savs, 
know I was also a college grad? i 
пкеслуре English just is good 
me, This kid was an 
ап he time, see? 

We talked some more and drunk a 
lots more hooch. 
job didn't go across." He 
staring ylumly 
She was a sweet kid. but somehow our 
iwains never 


d humped out to help 
herself up some, 
nc ol them liule 


taken her to € 


chairs and. tables they dumber up the 
sidew 
fetch 
dumbed up on me and so the kid had 
10 get throu 
ck taken а good look at her 

"She was mighty quie 
the yrapejack and smiling 
as how 1 don't speak nothi 
excusing English 
же that 
right, so 1 started in on the snow job = 
about my daddy being a rich ойны 
ors who probably sprinkled plenty of me 
Harvard Colley 
just for kicks. 

“L was making good 
and just getting 10 the part about being 
rich 
she laughs and puts her h 


Hunks to 
but he 


told the 
coc-necack. 


tks with. 1 


us some 


gh to him in their talk. 1 


just sipping 
1 me, Seeing 
real good, 
I bad to пу her on 
She acted Jike she understood. all 


rand 
n ol 


being a big spender just € 
and. only in the 


Army 


пе. 1 он 


у when 
П 
you 
this 
из you 


ШЕШ 


nd lonesome in the big ¢ 
wd on my д 
Daddy, how d 


Tell me. 


Americ 


but somehow my snow 
fell silent 
t his glittering boots 


met.” 


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Не shoved his hands into his pants 
pockets. pushed his overseas cap over his 
eyes and fell instantly asleep, only 
miklly troubled by the ache of what 
might have been. 

He fell instantly asleep. but not 1 
Philology as an opiate way finished. 1 
lived that flight out by sorting my notes 
till dawn. but E have a flight to Australia 
up. For most of two days 1 

pated in a space smaller than 
a mop closet. For two days ГИ not 
down even for a second, and ГИ st 
only for a few short moments 

But То not despair. 1 have found a 
volume of one of the splinter sects of 


nd 


psychoanalysis. a subject. Гуе always 
meant to learn nn about. Му book 
contains page alter. page. of. prose. like 


this: 


Reality is revealed. as umcoupted wi 
аттану The unconscious. per 
odicity of the rhythmus of certain ра 
“ина gestures reveals preoccupation 
with the gyneolitry inherent in archaic 
hicrological practice 


Very promising. 1 don't think ГИ be 
troubled on the Hight, unless, of course, 
1 sit next to a girl whose paradigmatic 
gestures reveal an unconscious. impulse 
to ritualistic adultery in small crowded 


places. 


ROLE OF CONTINENTAL 


(continued. from page 48) 
give a bit of added width. and a sharp- 
ness to the angle between. jacket and 
sleeve — in marked contrast to the пас 
ural curve of Ivy. 

All these influences are apparent to 
some degree in the modified Continen 
suits which find greater favor here than 
abroad. even among those men whose 
personalities thrive on being somewhat 
dress, since the comfort and 
notion to which Ivy has accus: 
tomed us is too dearly prized to be com 
pletely given up. In the modified Gon 
tinental (as in all new styles of clothing 
in every era) there are wide oscillations 
in uıiloring. The modifications all these 
suits share — less padding at the shoul- 
der. less pinching at the waist, less cut 
away curvature of the jacket. skirt — 
show their Itali; е heritage. but there 
their similarities give way to all manner 
of vari Lapels may be shawl. 
ed. or high-p d. though all 
rrow. Vents may be side or cente 
or nonc. Breast pockets may or may 
м be present. Side pockets are slashed 
to vary degrees. some of them welted. 
some plain, some flapped. Jackets can be 
three. as well as two-button. The trou- 
sers анау sport опе narrow. pleat Some 
tailors who label their clothes Con 
tal, cut and detail the trousers in e 


tly 


anything in Adlers! 


the same way that the newer Ivy slacks 
re cut — no. belt loops. low “fron 
slash pockets (borrowed from Lev 
and a front overlap on the waistl 

The major aspect of the Ame 
Continental is its subtle suggestion of 
those details which cl terize the е 
tremer styles. 


hint of fit at the waist. a bit of 
the shoulders but without 


of the jacket. Many cute 
the urban popularity some years 
the English Edwardian look. are culling 
jacket sleeves. with or without piping. 
Only а touch less. formal than the ex- 
treme and modified Continental. the 
American sion. which shows its 
Americanism in its relaxed. comfort, at 
tinction via Continental de- 
r than radical design. But in 
American Continental. as in the 
is, this fall а wide 
ag variations — which 
you сай exploit to your. advantage. 
Basketball players and other. tall types 
should seek the longer jackets of the 
American and modified styles. Men with 
a bit of executive spread where they sit 
will want to employ a rearview mirror 


the 
modified, th 
selection of. Gtilori 


in deciding whether to go for no. side 
fully nega 


or center venting. Such. bal 
tive conside de. the 
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| question, if it still exists in anye 


it to himself to try a few of the many 


variations available before selecting 
those hell buy 
And now we are ready to answer the 


will Continental replace Ivy? OF 
Like Ivy, it is more potent 
п influence than as a national trend. 
у, only about 20 percent of 
iens clothing sold in this country 
is genuine Ivy; but the reduction of pad 
ding and the general slimming (and the 
death of the double-breasted) which 
characterize 90 percent of. men's cloth 
ing are evidences of the influence of Wy. 
And so it is with Continental: the influ 
ence of the style will be widely felt, but 
the Continen| 
sufhciently rare to 
added distinction of appearance which 
emanates from. being tastefully apart 
from the herd, Good Ivy and good Con- 
tinental are and will remain vital and 
complementary party of the complete 
urban wardrobe, The former's correct 
ness for casual and comfortable: daily 
wear is matched by the latter's appro 


mind 
course. not 


priateness for all those special occasions 
this side of the dinner jacket or tails. 

The word Continental, of course, does 
not apply solely to suits. The accessories 
and haberdashery which live happily 
with your Ivy outfits will hardly do in 
company with Continental suits. Con 
tinental slimmer, thinner, 
more flexible: shirts are more form-fit 
ting and have narrower sleeves (button 
downs with Continental are as out as 
wide handpainted ties). Best collar style 
is the short spread. with round and tab 
seconds, Because. morc 
‘neath the al 
jacket, you will want to pay greater at 
tention t0 accompanying shirtings. Very 
Continental indeed ате the demi-bosom 
shirt or microscopic pleats, Restrained 
patterned shirtin 


shoes are 


ase 
Contine 


Vies 
should be narrow and short enough so 
the ends don’t protrude from the cut 
away, shore jackets. 
As a matter of fact 
rect accessories for the Continental suit 
| hardly be overstressed. You 
> hatless in Ivy, or 


€ also correct 


the matter of cor- 


E 


may 
let that 
or you may 
affect а slouch-brimmed hat that might 


choose te 


shocshine go another day 


be more suitable for fishing. No one will 
begrudge you these occa 
But once 
nental sui 


al eccentrici 


ties, you've donned а Conti 


you should be meticulously 
to its accessories — and to the 


condition thev are in, 


attentive 
unless you're con 
be as oddball as a man wc 
and sneakers. The right accoutre- 
ments, regularly accorded the ministra 


tent tc 


tux 
tions of the valet shop. are an essential 
f the Continental outfit. Top it off 
with a Homburg or bowler—and step 
out in Continental style. 


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(continued [гот page 88) 
appreciated the seriousness which made 
m willing to risk looking foolish. “I 
know, and you're not one of those fool- 
ish little poets, either. You're my tall 
clever Paul. But don't you think being 
happy with my carcer, my talent — why 
not use the word? — makes me а better 
1, too: 

But it interferes.” 

"Nor really. Not unless you look at it 
that way." 

“How else can I look at it? You'll be 
in Piusburgh, Cleveland, Detroit, Chi- 
cago, Kansas City, St. Louis, Dallas, 
Houston 

"Sh," she said, putting her finger on 
his mouth, “sh. Calm yourself, Mister 
Geographer.” 
“And ГИ be w 
ad 


won 


g my annual report 
y verse and my other project all 
" He thought а moment. An 
ominous coolness fell over him. “Maybe 
alone,” he id 

Well, so it goes, so it went. They dis 
agrecd ay the evening, most unten 
derly, the way fierce lovers. sometimes 
must. This devouring part of love makes 
it hard for everyone. It might be 
sumed, however, from what very often 
happens in such cases, that this is also 
the habit of true lovers. Опе 
think that, since Kate loved P: 
Paul loved Kate, and in this romance the 
only serious triangulation was provided 
by Career in Road Company, it would 
be easy to solve the problem. Is it not 
better, as Paul argued, to be the wile of 


alo 


would 
ul and 


a steady poet than to have a secondary 
part in a fairly mediocre success? 
Impossible to decide without the 
quarrel, 
The quarrel taught Kate something 


about what she could lose, to wit, Paul. 
She remembered all at once her awful 
echoing midtown loneliness without him. 
He was striding silently by her sidi 
alking, distant, measurin 
from her. 
been 


not 
himself away 
Не might just as well have 
with someone else. In fact, she 
understood that he was already imagin- 
ing someone else while she flourished 
briefly in Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Detroit, 
Chicago, Kansas City, etcetera 

So the quarrel € nt her about loss 
and Paul at her side reminded her of 


She saw him looki ntently at the 
chalk scrawl on the sidewalk and she 


wondered, What's he brooding on — an- 
other girl? She touched his arm. “Please, 
Paul, what are you thinking about? 


Гей me." 


“That phrase on the sidewalk — I saw 


the same thing downtown. It's beauti- 
ful, Kate, it’s great poetry. Maybe he 
walks all over New York writing it.” 


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108 


She looked. 

LEROY LOVE. CARMEN 

"But vou seem so abstracted.” Kate 
said. "so distant. What are vou thinking 
about — Carmen?" 

"And Leroy, too. 1 have an idea Гога 
play —oh. а tiule comedy. something 
sweet and touching and  off-Broad 
that could be done at the Timely Plav- 


house. They suggested 1 uy а play for 
them. There would be а part for 
you —" 


"For те: 

He meant to show his teeth in. pique 
at her ambitious hurry, but instead he 
turned his full smile on her. "Гуе been 
thinking about it ever since 1 met you." 

"Make и a romantic comed ru 
move down to the Village, Make it а ro 
mance, could vou please, Paul?" 

“It is.” He touched her hair lightly. 
He waited. “It is already.” 

She knew that she was busy finding 
reasons to refuse the road company job. 
She knew that she was busy staying in 
New York. "What's the title?” she asked 
him 

“Levoy Lave Carmen, of course 

She knew that she was very busy in his 
life, and he in hers. and forever, with no 
road companies to part e Barker 
from her very own май playwright. She 
moved. i him. resting her cheek 
and her sweet breath against. his 
murmuring her personal version of that 
very old. very good sidewalk story: “Kate 
Jove Paul.” 


KITCHENLESS KITCHEN 


(continued [rom page 54) 
t we're looking down on (Page 53). 
« into the AC strip, nearest the 
sink. is a Knapp-Monarch. ebony-sided 
speed toaster ($18.95). At a flick of 
the finger it will go into action so the 
toast will be piping hot when the 
es (in Dominion's 
fry-skillet, 35) are ve 


RES 


mersible 
Our guy is expertly wielding the sp 


tula 
kidneys, 
à turn on. 
(517.95): 
machina 


over à 
bacon and such—be 
pacious Sunb 
the imported 1 


mixed grill — chops, 
ie done to 
im griddle 
ian espresso. 


(from Abercrombie & Fitch, $13.50) is 
building up its head of steam, and herb. 


sprinkled garlic bread has just att 
an even tan in Knapp-Monarch's handy 
little Redi-Oven (534.95) — which could 
just as nicely а frozen pie. 

As for the girls, they've whipped up 
а salad, set the informal service, put out 
the relish way and the wine, and one of 
them iy sampling the bubbling cheese 
fondue in its copper and brass electrical 


chafing dish (from VINA, $60). 
OL course, the kitchenless kitchen 


doesn’t store all you need, However, a 
larder, other appliances, linen, silver — 
even a freezer — may be accommodated 
in the usual closets, And the separate 
п may be consigned to oblivion 
for good, thus banishing the banishment 
of the host who would demonstrate his 
ary expertise and serve. forth a 
feast — or а snack — for his friends. 


“... Of course, the General Assembly will vote 

unanimously to have it taken off, but with their 

agenda the way it is, it'll be months before they 
get around to it.” 


MARKET 


(continued [rom page 71) 
the put and call dealer, И you wish, The 
option dealers, in turn. get their puts 
and calls from people who think they 
them (usually 


сап make money selling 
for the opposite reason. you think you 
can make money buying them). 

Naturally, profits in puts and calls 
are by no means a sure thing despite the 
examples given. If you go overboard on 
any old options just because they seem 
cheap, instead of getting options on 
stocks vou have every reason to believe 
i ove the way you want 
п to wind 
up with a wad of useless and pretty 
expensive paper. Not only must the 
stock move in the direction you want it 
to but it has to do so by a margin wide 
enough to cover the cost of your option 
as well as the commissions and taxes on 
the purchase and sale of the stock in 
volved in the transaction, Options, too, 
have а fiendish way of expiring ju 
those promised golden riches are about 
to be reaped. То be on the sale side, 
stick to the longer term options 
three months and preferably six), unless 
you're darned sure of your timing, 

Another tricky technique, that of sell 
ing short, is well illustrated in the 
spectacular speculative career of Bill 
Stanley, а young, genial advertising 
salesman who also doubles as an 
morning dise jockey for WICH, 
wich, Connecticut, radio statio! 

By a series of fortunate investments 
(Lorillard, Polaroid, Thiokol, Armour), 
and by using some of the aforementioned 
devices, Stanley, with по stock market 
experience, was able to pyramid $2800 
into 541,000 itle over а year, 

But he ran into trouble with Ameri 
сап Motors. He first bought. into it at 
515 back in the late summer of 
amd he kept buying more of it as it kept 
rising. By the end of the year it hac 
xien to SAI and. Stanley. owned 
shares and calls on an 

Had he cashed in hi 
when it 


most cert 


American Motors 
it 543, и few weeks later, Stan- 
1 


ley would indeed have achieved his ga 
of having 550.000 at the age of 30. Bu 
like a lot of other people, he thought 
the stock was worth at least S48. maybe 
even 550, and so he hu on. Unfortu- 
nately, by this time the rumors of the 
Big Three entering the smallcar. field 
started to percolate and with them, 
American Motors took а nose dive, drop- 
matter of da 
To get out h his skin, let alone 
salvage whatever. profits he could, Stan- 
ley resorted to that ordinarily risky spec 
we technique known as "selling 
short" Like most other stock market 
maneuvers, this feat of financial leger- 
demain is not profound but it is some- 
what complicated. 


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In a short sale, you can sell stock you 
do not own when you expect that its 
price will drop. In actuality, you borrow 
through your broker a certain number 
of shares of the stock and agree to re 
place them. In doing this, the short 
seller must still observe the margin re 
quirements and put up cash equal to 
90%, of the value of the stock that he 
borrows and sells. You sell the borrowed 
stock at the market price and hope that 
the price of the stock will drop so that 
you will be able to buy it back cheaply 
to cover your loan, 

But if you've guessed wrong and the 
stock starts to rise, you're in trouble. 
Sooner or liter, depending on how long 
your nerves hold out, you'll have to pay 
more for the stock you buy than Гог the 
stock you've sold it for, The short seller 
also must pay the dividends due the per 
son from whom the stock was borrowed. 

Although the consequences of short 
selling are not necessarily so dire (in 
fact, plenty of money has been made by 
the technique), the reason short selling 
сап be quite a risky business, compared 
to the standard practice of buying а 
stock first and selling it later, is very 
simple. If you were to buy a stock in 
the regular manner at, say, $16, the 
worst that could happen would be for 
it to go down to zero and the most you'd 
be out would be $16 per share, (Not 
that this isn’t bad cnough.) But were 
you to sell the stock short at $16 and it 
happened to go up, only the sky would 
be the limit on the amount of money 
you could lose. In fact, something almost 
this catastrophic happened with a stock 
called E. L. Bruce (flooring) a few years 
go. It had been doddering along at 516 
when suddenly, during а fight for man 
went. control, it shot up to 5171 in 
atter of months. Caught in the mid 
dle were some frantic shorts. Fearful 
that the stock could conceivably go up 
to $500, some did buy back at $171 to 
cover their short sales at 16, Those lucky 
enough to be short only 100 shares took 
a licking of $15,000 on the deal. 

However, there are perfectly valid rea 
sons for one type of short selling, one 
that involves no such risk. This is called 
selling ainst the box" and is the 
maneuver that Bill Stanley resorted to 
in order to protect some of his paper 
» American Motors. In selling 
against the box, you sell short against 
stock in the same company that you 
actually do own. That is, your own 
collateral against the 
stock borrowed for the short sale and 
no marem payments are required. 

You might sell short against the box 
instead of selling your own stock out- 
right when you feel that the stock. may 
dip temporarily and then come back. If 
you've made а mistake and the stock 
doesn’t go down at all but continues up, 
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in the box to cover your short sale. (You 
also cat your heart out by figuring the 
extra money you would have made if 
you hadn't sold short.) 

When Stanley saw his American 
Motors start to slide from 43, he sold 
some of his stock outright and sold the 
rest short against the box when it hit 35, 
thus guaranteeing his 35 selling price for 
the shares he still owned. and had put 
up as collateral. Had American. then 
started to rise from 35, he would have 
delivered this stock to cover his short 
sales, But, as mentioned, American 
Motors continued to drop. As it fell in 
a wave of frantic selling (during one d 
a quarter of a million shares were 
traded), Stanley decided that enough 
was enough; he bought stock on the 
open market at $27 and delivered. this 
newly acquired stock to cover his short 
sales, making eight. points on the deal. 
When American Motors ultimately got 
back past 35 again, he sold out alto- 
gether, getting as mach as 39 for some 
Of his stock. Unfortunately, there wasn't 
much he could do about most of his 18 
options: eight expired unexercised dur- 
ing this crucial period (total loss, 
54600); on five he broke суеп, and on 
the remaining five made a total of $2500. 
All in all, he did ma to wind up 
about $8000 ahead on his stock and op- 
tions, but rucfully figures he would have 
had $10,000 or $15,000 more had he sold 
out at 541 or $43. 

It should be obvious that none of the 
many techniques described mean а thing 
unless you have some idea as to when to 
buy and sell a stock and how to pick a 
stock that is going to perform spectacu- 
larly better than average. Lacking this 
prescience, the same techniques of lever- 
age that can be used to put you speedily 
on the mainline to wealth can, by oper- 
in reverse, catapult you to the 
s just as quickly. 

About the only thing certain that can 
be predicted about the stock market, or 
an individual stock, complicated as its 
action is by the play of emotions, the 
frailties of human jodgment and а host 
of other unpredictables is that — in 
Bernard Baruch's. memorable words — 
it will fluctuate.” 

Not tha least some of the factors 
responsible for the fluctuations can't be 
studied and analyzed. To predict. the 
course of the market as well as that of 
lual stocks, Wall Streeters have 
tried a variety of approaches, some quite 
logical, some loony, and some literally 
out of this world (correlating the market 
with the frequency of sunspots, etc). 

The two most practical approaches 
are the so-called fundamental and. tech- 
nical ones апа cach has its own often 
devout adherents. To determine the 
probable course of the market, the funds 
mentalists, among other th 
and integrate the various | 
business activity — such economic. indi- 


ators as freight car loadings, industrial 
production, machine tool orders, com- 
mitments for new housing, business fail- 
ures, and so on— or, in other words, 
"the fundamentals. 

They believe, for example, that when 
freight car loadings are decreasing and 
the government is starting to case пр on 
credit (by lowering interest rates), a bear 
or declining market may be in the offing. 
This, in turn, т serve as a signal to 
switch from cyclical stocks (autos, air- 
craft, steel, mining, building, railroads, 
etc) into defensive or relatively stable 
issues (foods, utilities, drugs, tobacco. 
ctc) or into bonds or, perhaps, to get 
the hell out of the market completely. 

To determine the probable action of 
a particular stock and get some idea 
to its present ue, they look a 
fundamentals too, and pore over bal- 
ance sheets and statistical reports to 
study its carnings, dividend record, capi 
talization, та of assets to liabilities, 
and so on. Out of all this emerge several 
important. yardsticks of which the one 
most frequently used to determine the 
market value of the stock is the so-called 

i i io. И, for example, a 
n 
ts stock is selling for 
rnings ratio of 15, 

the vernacular of the Street, is 
g Гог “15 times earnings.” The blue 
chips used to compute the Dow-Jones 
industrial index are now selling at about 
23 times their 1958 earnings. 

Important and sound as the total 
fundamental approach may be, it unfor- 
tunately doesn't always provide the 
whole answer. The market has on sev- 
eral occasions been known to act oppo 
site to the fundamental forecast, 

Also, there is not necessarily any cor- 
relation between the action of the 
market as а whole and that of an in 
dividual stock, Nor do the fundamentals 
always offer a sure-fire n ns of deter- 
mining what a specific stock should sell 
lor. You can't always gauge this by the 
company's dividend, and the price-carn- 
ings ratio is not always а reliable guide. 

Some good stocks are chronically un- 
Чегрисе year after year, whereas oth- 
ers, both good and bad, have recently 
been sell al PJE ratios. 
nple, is selling at 85 
1958 earnings, General Time at 77 
times, Molybdenum at 358, and Royal 
McBee (which netted only 3¢ а share 
last year) at over 600 times earnings. И 
you take stocks like Chrysler which had 
deficits last year, a recent P/E та 


its 


$45, it has a price 


io can- 


not even be computed at all. 
There 


an expl on why some 
€ often out of line with their 
statistical fundamentals. For one thing, 
а prosaic analysis of the past or even the 


company does not 
rily indicate what it will do in 
the future. These and other statist 
fundamentals do not tell enou 


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other fundamentals such as the capabili- 
че» of the management (perhaps а new 
one) and the research department, the 
possibility of a merger or stock split (real 
or pred), new products in the works, 
ay well as other factors that тау inilu- 
ence future carnings. 

What, in the final analysis, determines 
the price of а stock. is not only its the- 
orctical fundamental value, both present 
and foresceable, but also what people, 
rationally or irrationally, think it to be 
worth, As Bernard Baruch put it, one of 
the problems of the speculator "is how 
to disentangle the cold hard. economic 
facts from the rather warm feelings of 
the people dealing with these fact 

It was in failing to do this that. Bill 
Stanley (and lots of other people) went 
astray in judging when to sell American 
Motors. On the basis of all the funda- 
mentals, he should have been able to get 
548 ог 550 for the stock, With the com 
pany expected to carn around 510 a 
share this year, this price would have 
been only five times earnings, After all, 
General Motors, which was expected to 
carn only $3 a share, was already selling 
at 550, or about 17 times carnings. 

Certainly, five times earnings should 
not have been too unreasonable a price 
to expect for American Motors, а com 
pany well in the black. But, faced with 
the fear of what the competition of the 
Big Three's compact cars would mean to 
Rambler, people simply would not pay 
more than four times earnings for 
American Motors stock, cheap as d 
might have seemed, Time, of course, may 
prove them wrong, 

Because it is not entirely safe to rely 
on the fundamentals, many turn. to a 
technical approach to the market. Some 
go as far as to shun the fundamental 
completely (even to the extent of. not 
caving what business а company may be 
in) and use one or a variety of pet formu 
las to guide them in deciding when to 
buy aned sell a stock. 

The technicians compare the price 
vend of a stock with the volume of trad 
in и. They know, for example, that 
an increase in the volume of trading in 
а stock with а rising price is generally а 
bullish sign — а sign to buy (but not al 
ways); and that an increase in the vol 
ume of a stock with а falling price is 
generally a bearish sign — а sign to sell 
(but not always). They also often sell on 
"good news" — an. announcement of. a 
dividend increase, а good earnings re 
port, a stock split— especially if the 
stock has already had a substantial price 
rise (the insiders have already been buy 
ing it up prior to the announcement. 
and Вахе probably pushed the price as 
high as it is going to до). They study 
such things as the size and ch; "s of 
the “short” interest position (apparently 
on the theory that the shorts are usually 
wrong and eventually have to buy back 
the stock they sold short, а large short 


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position is considered. bullish), the “odd 
lot" transactions or purchases and sales 
of stock in less than 100 share units, and 
know on the basis of precedent that the 
market is most likely to rise in July, 
August and December, and most. likely 
to dip in February and September 
In a class by themselyes are the com 
paratively small but dedicated cult of 
chartists. A chart, for which some form 
of graph paper is used, contains а 
periodic record of the ups and downs in 
the price of а stock and. often also its 
volume. As the chart is kept, а pattern 
gradually emerges which, depending on 
the type of chart, usually looks like 
needlepoint or a series of jagged lines 
From the particular pattern. or forma 
tion the consecrated chart reader is sup 
posed to tell what the stock is going to 
do and about when it is going to do it 
The strange thing is that in some 
mysterious way charts often. do work 
although there are also oc ins when 
two chart readers looking at the same 
chart do draw from it two opposite con 
clusions. И а chart doesn't scem to 
work, the usual alibi of the chartist is 
that he didn't read it correct) 
The gratuitous advice from relatives, 
friends and minions is worth just about 
what you pay for it— nothing — and 
can, in fact, cost you a great deal of 
f reliable, 
ay reach you third- or tenth-hand, 
rks or months after the stock has al 
lv gone up. In fact, one of the те 
sons tips trickle out from the insiders is 
that they can sell to you when the tips 
have you all hepped up. Most customers" 
men are honest and well-meaning, but 
their tips are usually at least third-hand, 
100. And you must remember that they 
don't get any commission unless you buy 
and sell. They're only human, and the 
more active accounts will invariably com- 
ated attention. 
im fact of Wall Street life 
is that most of the advisory and statis- 
tical services also often fail — and often 
quite miserably — in their chosen task. A 
number of independent studies made by 
zations с shown that 
the financial forecasting services as a 
whole have been wrong anywhere from 
one-half to two-thirds of the time — 
worse than if they had just flipped a coin. 
In view of all this, you ask, what 
chance do L а complete novice or com- 
paratively inexperienced — speculator, 
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и? A pretty good chance — if vou 
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basic principles of speculation in the 
countless books available on the subject. 
Атоп the best are Gerald Loeb's classic 
The Battle foy Investment Survival, The 
Sophisticated Investor, by Burton Crane, 
and Philip Fisher's Common Stocks aud 
Uncommon Profits. 

You can even subscribe to some of the 
financial magazines or read them in 
the public library or your broker's office, 
and listen to tips — as long as you use 
this information as leads to follow up on 
yourself. For leads as to what to buy, it 
also doesn't hurt to have friends high 
in financial circles, have an uncle who's 
a broker, or know a good security 
alyst. You can also gather a surprising 
поши of good information simply by 
keeping your ears open. Bill Stanley 
learned about Lorillard, for example, 
when the tobacco company sent some ol 
its representatives around to his radio 
station to buy time and he then got 
wind of the big filter-tip camp in 
the works. 

After a while you may, like many 
seasoned speculators, show а partiality 
toward small companies with relatively 
lizations, that is, with a 
sm ng supply of shares on the 
market. For when attention is directed 
to such а company, price swings (up as 
well as down) are almost ble. 

You'll 1 1 that one of the generally 
accepted distinguishing marks of a 
"growth" company is that its earnings 
increase at the rate of at least. 106, to 
120%, а year. You'll also learn that a stock 
is not necessarily à good buy merely be 
cause the company is in а growth indus 
try (chemicals, electronics, nucleonics, 
metallurgy, etc). Many, of course, will 
eventually fall by the wayside, 

How do you pick a growth company 
most likely to zoom? Here а ‚ the 
g pros look among the smallest 
in a field, “Assuming 
gement and finances," 
stute senior clec 
tronics analyst of Carl M. Loeb, Rhoades 
R Co., "find the smallest equity base that 
provides. maximum exposure to а spe 
Che dynamic development. Or in lay 
men's Tan pick the smallest. com 
pany in the hottest ficld 

“Take the transistor field. There ave 
about 10 companies in it who amount 
to anything. The giants like КСА, СЕ 
amd Westinghouse are already too big 
and besides they've got too many irons 
ан other fires and so you eliminate then. 
Among the smaller companies you find 
Texas Instruments. Not a bad buy, but 
its equity base (number of outstanding 
shares multiplied by price of stock) is 
now 0 million — maybe also already 
ivo big. Probably having a greater 
chance for maximum growth is General 
Transistor with its equity base of only 
S28 million. 

Since leverage Gin work to the advan- 
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SNAKES IN THE GRASS use row pase 35) 


hand there.” He knelt down and, point- 
ing to one bottle after another, looked 
up at the curator and spoke very slowly 
nd distinctly. “This is the ferde-lance of 
South America, Bothrops atrox. This is a 
Vipera berus. This is a water moccasin, 
of course — Agkistrodon piscreorus. And 
here is a coral snake. Micrurus fulvius — 
dear me. what ture. Now, 
this is a Dendraypis angusticeps —" 

McHugh and 1 were looking at each 
other in stupefaction, with our mouths 
wide open. The same thought was in 
both our minds: the chaplain knew the 
mes of all those snakes, and that none 
of them lived in Bavaria 

“My dear Captain.” the curator inter 
rupted, “since 1 have lived with most of 
these snakes for about twenty years, 1 
m quite well acquainted with their 
names. 1 am most anxious, nevertheless, 
to get back the original labels." 

“The curator says" 1 managed. to 
bring out, "that he is a snake man him 
self and can identify. all these superb 
specimens. 


venomous cre 


Splendid!" the chaplain said, getting 
to his feet. "In that case, Û think we can 


mision as acc 


regard our plished.” 
We all shook hands with the curator 

"Ehe саргай will send. the 
original bottles to w,” I told him. 

On the way to the jeep the chaplain 
remarked, “I must sav, that museum 
chap wasn't as grateful as £d have been 
if someone had given me such а mag 
nificent collection,” 

McHugh and I fell behind а few paces 
and exchanged. hurried whispers. laden 
with a wild surmis 


savs he 


"He knew the men didn't find them!" 

“He knew what was going on the 
whole time!" 

And, as McHugh was driving us back 


to our lake. Captain Withers explained. 
1 guess 1 surprised vou fellows а bit 
there,” he said happily. "Now, 1 don't 
know where the men got their hands on 
those outlandish snakes, and 1 don't 
care. The main thing in life is to do 
good. Those poor wounded and troubled 
soldiers have to get ^well — that's. what 
matters. И they have to break a few 
supid regulations, and pull the wool 
over somebody's eves while they're doing 
it. well, that’s where Г felt I could do 
my little bit" He twinkled his eyes at us 
with a mixture of slyness. myopia and 
loveol-fellowanan. “I don't see any 
harm in their indulging a perfectly по 
mal and healthy appetite, do you 

No indeed, sir” McHugh said, with 
à sort ol awe in his voice. "Certainly not, 


1 guess." 

Ol course not" the chaplain said 
strongly. “Why, their bodies need what 
they went out after — need it regularh 
and a lot more often than once a week. 
They won't do anyone any harm. Oh, 
that reminds me, what ever became of 


that German girl who said some soldier 
had done her wrong? Lieutenant Barnes 
to look into it." 

There was nothing to it,” I said. "We 
investigated thoroughly, She was trying 
to find some gimmick to get to the 
United States.” 
ever did ring true to me." he 
I've come to know the men pretty 
amd that just didn't sound pos 


ppraisal of our buddies seemed 
a bit unrealistic, in. view of what had 


been going on, and I asked. cautiously, 
Captain, what was it that tipped you 
off? | mean, that they weren't really 


looking for snakes.” 

"Well, when I found the booms! 
he answered, “and you pointed out how 
unlikely my hypothesis was about. the 
land bridge. I began to recognize otl 
snakes. But it way mainly — I realize now 
in retrospect — а remark 1 overheard on 
maybe the third or fourth trip. One of 
the fellows. Honestly, Serg 
my life have 1 heard a 
estatic over а vegetable. 


t never in 
man get so 
How they must 


have been starving for fresh food! It was 
touching — really touching.” 
Fresh food?" I said 
This soldier." Captain Withers went 
on, "had discovered some [resh tomatoes 
at one of the farms. "You should have 
seen that tomato. he said. "What a dish? 
So rosy, so. plump, so nice and хаику?" 
I tell you, it warmed my heart, what 
pleasure there was in his voice 
McHugh nearly drove us 
ditch, 
After that, of course,” he continued, 
well, Г just played along with them. 
And many’s the remark my sharp old 
сату picked up. Why, do you know, some 
of those men must be pretty fine shots 
with their pistols, to. be able to. bring 


inw the 


down а wild bird on the win 
Wild bind?" 

"Yes sirce,” the chaplain said em 
phatically. “I know for a Fact that one 
[the men got himself a quail ou his 
very first try. 1 heard bim say so." 

That was when McHugh took us 
straight off the road and into the окне 
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(continued from page 45) 
stars and friends? 

He was this kind of man: Harry Cohn, 
who believed in talent — one associate 
said he was always w g to Kiss the toc 
of talent — never let anyone forget that 
he was the supreme boss of the studio 
He made the final decisions. He was the 
final authority. Nothing that came out 
of Columbia Studios did so without 
Harry Cohn supervising it, passing on it 
and, in passing, molding its final form 
Lunches in the commissary were com 
d performances; Cohn arrived 
fed on what was happening on the 
d fired questions at his 
underlings throughout the meal 

No revenge was too petty И Harry 
Cohn thought somcone had slighted him. 
made fun of him or put one over on him 
Producers who had made а wisccrack 
that rubbed him the wrong way found 
themselves taken olf pet assignments and 
reduced to office-boy status to work out 
their contracts. He played one associate 
against another, keeping them off bal 
ance and insecure. One Hollywood doc 
tor who made something of a specialty 
of ulcers and stomach disorders ‚фу 
used to feel guilty about not splitting my 
fees with Harry Cohn. He threw an 
awful lot of business my w: 

He was a petty tyr 
his top executives punch a time clock. 
Anyone leaving the studio at what Harry 
Cohn considered to be an early hour was 
reprimanded like a 20-dollar-a-week office 
boy. If he had а gripe against somebody 
on the Colu payroll, he rarely 
brought it up in private. Не always 
waited until he had an audience and 
humiliated the victim by dressing him 
down in foul terms in front of his friends 
and associates. He equated terror with 
power and once told a friend, "You 
don't have to fire somebody to make him. 
t back in line. You just have to make 
him think you might fire him. Thal 
straighten him out, Frighten them and 
they won't give you any rouble.” He is 
also the only man in history whose pro 
fanity was sanctioned by a Federal court 
Charles Vidor, the director, once tried 
to get out of a contract because he 
couldn't stand Cohn's language. The 
Federal court dismissed the suit, ruling 
that such language was part of Cohn's 
speaking vocabulary, used by him as 
superlative adjectives, 

А few years before his death, he had 
his portrait painted by an artist who was 
the current toast of the Hollywood art 
set. When it was unveiled, it turned out 
to be a glorified portrait of a young 
Greek god that bore only the faintest 


bi 
sound stages ; 


resemblance to its subject. Nobody 
pointed this ош. Everybody praised the 
likeness. “Whats the mane: asked 


Cohn. “Ате you all blind? 1 know god- 
dam well 1 don't look anything like that, 


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But one of these days I'm going to kick 
off. You think I want my grandchildren 


to look at а picture that really looks 
like me?" 
He was also this kind of man: when 


Rita Hayworth, the love goddess that 
he had created, wanted to quit in 1953, 
he smashed his riding crop on the desk 
and said, “When you came here, you 
were a nothing. A nobody. All you 
were those two big ui 
Cohn. Now you just got those two big 
things.” 

When he was snubbed by the 
prictor of one of New York's 
expensive and exclusive restaurants 1 
being made to wait 15 minutes Го 
table, he bought the building and forced 
the restaurant to move, 

He is said to have had every office at 
Columbia bugged with hidden micro- 
phones and justified it by saying, "I'm 
the boss. I gotta know what's going on." 


pro 
most 


At the sneak preview of a new Colum- 


bia picture he held forth at great length 


to his sidewalk court on what а waste of 
time previews ire, “Who the hell needs 
а bunch of idiots in Encino to tell me 
whether my picture is any good or not? 
1 got the best indicator in the world. Му 
ass. IE E sit still, everything's fine. ИТ 
rt squirming, somethi "rong." 
vod God." said producer Herman 
Mankiewicz. "Imagine! The whole world 
wired to Harry Cohn's ass!" Mankiewicz 
was fired. 

Не was this kind of man too: he out- 
bid most of the other major studios for 
the screen rights to C. $. Forester's best 
seller The Good Shepherd. He thought 
it would make a wonderful vehicle for 
Humphrey Bogart, Before the picture 
could be put into production, Bogart be- 
«ате ill. It was common knowledge in 
Hollywood that Bogie was а dying man. 
Cohn called him regularly and told him 
to stop Liking and get out of bed and get 
to work on The Good Shepherd. The 
script became а kind ol talisman to 
Bogart in his final days. He never really 
believed. he w ring to dic. 
L "I can't really be sick 


If 1 was 
to die that bastard Cohn would 


have cast somebody else in the picture. 
As long as he holds it for me, Г must be 
going to get better.” 

When a studio chauffeur had to have 
a leg amputated, Cohn paid all the bills, 
and when he came out of the hospital, 
Cohn gave him the concession. rights to 
a very val lunch. counter. location 
on the lot 

Che man Ben Hecht dubbed “The 
ng” was also like this: some- 
sted The Odyssey as a picture 
possibility. Cohn read а treatment of it. 
“It's about a lot of goddam Greeks.” he 
said. "Who wants to sec à picture about 
а lot of goddam Greeks?" 

Robert Rossen, who put some of these 
Oscars оп Cohn's desk with АИ the 


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King's Men, was involved in a biddin 
ducl with John Huston for the screen 
rights to Tom Lea's novel The Brave 
Bulls. The price went up in five-thou- 
sand-dollar jumps and finally Rossen, 
who was to produce and direct the pic- 
ture аз an independent production for 
Columbia, went to Harry Cohn to get an 
OK to make the final offer. “For God's 
sake, what the hell is this book all 
about?" Cohn asked. Rossen recognized 
the impossibility of explaining the sub- 
Ucties of the moment of truth or the 
lore of the bullring to Harry Cohn. 
" he said. "It's Body and 
vith bulls." 

"Should make a helluva picture," 
Cohn. It did. 

Rossen, like a lot of the other men 
who worked with Cohn, respected him 
as à movi: r. "He was the greatest 
better оп talent I've ever known," said 
Rossen. "If he thought you had it, he 
gave you your head. He once told me 
this, ‘Go ahead, do it your way. It's your 
picture. But if it falls on it's face, it's 


said 


your tail too. 
Harry Cohn's last creation was a 
chubby liule Chicago model named 


Marilyn Pauline Novak, and Cohn knew 
he could carry it off in a breeze. "If you 

а bring me your goddam wile or 
"II do the same for her," he 


ту Cohn's 
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money. The argument bore out to Cohn 
the truth of one of his most repeated 
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former in the picture business." Black- 
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suspension or even punching her off а 
couple of walls wouldn't solve any of 
the problems her walkout created. Cohn, 
it was said, was willing and able to do 
ny of these if they would help. When 
Miss Hayworth left, she left behind her 
a pile of expensive properties Cohn had 
bought for her. With the departure of 
his only operational love goddess, 
Cohn was boxed in. The side of his desk 
took the beating from the riding crop 
that Miss Hayworth might absorbed 
if she had been around. His court waited 
for the word from Mount Sin; So we 
don't have another dame with big boobs 
on the lot," he said. “So what. We ain't 
got a star? We'll make one!" The whack 
of the crop on the desk punc 
tuated his decision. 

The lightning struck the 
a claim clerk for the Milwa 
road. Marilyn Novak, Chicago born, had 
drifted out to the coast alter winning a 
contest as “Miss Deep Freeze.” Stranded 
in San Francisco, she headed for Holly 
wood and was working as a model and 
an occasional extra at RKO. Max Arnow, 
Cohn's chief talent scout, spotted her in 


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the office of agent Louis Shurr and 
arranged a screen test, The sereen test 
had Marilyn standing against a prop 
fireplace. throwing her chest at the cam- 
ста and murmuri: I want lov 
Harry Colin’s reaction: "She. mum- 
bles. I can't understand a зода 
she's saying." Не offered to si 
а 5100.алусеК contract, а pcon's wage in 
Hollywood, and almost let her go when 
her agent demanded $125. Cohn. threw 
in the ext 5 with all the interest of a 
man putting а quarter in a beggar's cup. 
"She ain't got it,” he said, "She's fat, she 
mumbles and she ain't even got what 
Hayworth started with." The Cohn 
search for a new face continued. and 
Marilyn Pauline Novak was thrown in- 
to the hopper as just another 5125-4- 
week contract player. The casting de- 
partment put her in а quickie called 
Pushover and she got a fair amount of 
audience mail. As a result of the interest 
she was put into something called Five 
ипм the House and the mail poured 
in. Harry Cohn never argued with a 
audience and he forgot his misgiving 
about the girl's possibilities. For better 
or worse, Marilyn Pauline Novak. be- 
came а "property" and his answer to 
worth’s м ти. The first and most 
obvious step in the creation of his star 
was a change of name. Marilyn had to 
go. Miss Monroe had a prior c to it. 
Alter searching his soul and beating the 
furniture with the riding стор. he made 
a command decision again. Novak 
would мау. “It’s revese English.” he 
said. "Who the hell ever heard. of a 
glamor girl named Novak? Ies the god 
damdest thing. I like it^ For two days 
she was called Kit Novak. “ICH remind 
people of kittens,” said Сори, “And 
that's che right image we want for this 
one, relaxed. but with big claws.’ Miss 
wk hated the name K nd she cried 
on the shoulder of publicity director 
George Lait who a 
with Cohn. She emerged from the office 
smiling. Kit had disappeared. Kim Novak 
was born. This visit to Colin's office had 
some historical interest. И was the first 
time she had used tears as à weapon. She 
used them, with no noticeable success 
aher that first visit, so often that Cohn's 
nickname for her was "The Cryer.” 
With the name setted, Cohn went 
about creating his new star with all the 


anged a meeting. 


ad 


cllicieney of a master sculptor. Like any 
other artist. beginning а new work, he 
had to decide on the ove c theme. 
He recognized t e had. 


cornered the market 
all our 


n the “Lets put 
ds and some of our clothes 
on the table" school of sex appeal. Jayne 
Mansfeld was the unchallenged queen 
of the ^H you got ‘em, show "em" school 
He decided оп something a little more 
subtle, а litle more old-fashioned. Kim 
Novak was to be the promissory note of 
sex. Her voice was to be low and in 


. To hell with her mumble. She ber with Harry Cohn personally calling 
was to purr where others growled. She the shots. No story or publicity still 
was to be hal bitch. half Бару. She was went out without his approval. Her hair 
to du sexy sweetness, а virtuous was bleached and lavender became her 
volupt ness That. according to a trademark. The legend was born that she 
close associate. was Harry Golin’s master- was discovered by agent Louis Shurr rid- 
plan. He turned the specialists loose on ing a bicycle—a lavender bicycle — 
her. Her teeth were straightened, leveled through the streets of Beverly Hills. She 
whitened and, where necessary, replaced. was. photographed in а lavender. bed- 
She was put on a rigid diet, pounded in room in lavender slacks with ıl 

the studio gym and given acting lessons. lavender buttons open on her blouse. 
“For God's sake.” said Cohn. "get rid of Just before the c aman took the shot, 
the mumble. 1 still can't understand a Kim, with the instinct of a former "Miss 
goddam word she says." The studios Deep Freeze," opened a fourth button. 
emire publicity force was assigned to The publicity department did its work 


“Oh, San Quentin is OK for a short stretch, but 
1 certainly wouldn't want to do life there!” 


119 


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well. Long before the public had seen 
Kim Novak on the screen she had be 
come a personality. Her name and face 
were known through thousands of stills 
and hundreds of picture layouts in fan 
and Sunday supplements, She 
bit part in PAffft! Te was а 
trial run, Cohn was ready to shoot the 
dice for the big stakes. He cast her in 
one of Columbia's most important ргор- 
erties, the stage hit Picnic. Joshua Logan, 
with the Broad laurel wreaths still on 
his brow, arrived to direct the picture to 
discover that somebody named Kim 
Novak, by order of Harry Cohn, was his 
female star. “Sure he balked,” said Cohn 
later. “But he knew he took Novak or he 
got off the picture. He did fine with her. 
He found out all he hadda do was | 
her a couple of times to make her cr 
coulda told him that. One thing she 
do is cry. 

When Picnic was released, the studio 
publicity department: moved into high 
gear. Surprisingly enough. pinches or no. 
Miss Novak got decent reviews for her 
work. Somebody һай certified Harry 
Cohn's blank check on Marilyn Pauline 
Novak. The publicity stories painted a 
ire canvas of the new мат. She pre 
ferred to live in a S20-a-wcek room at 
the Studio Club, a residential club for 
aspiring actresses, rather than а Beverly 
Hills mansion. She was still d her 
old prestardom boyfriend, Мас Krim. 
She loved pizza pies, didn't drink or 
smoke and preferred sweaters and slacks 
(lavender) to mink, 

Picnic was followed by The Eddy 
Duchin Story, The Man with the Golden 
Tim, Pal Joey and Jeanne Eagels, Harry 
Cohn had accomplished his purpose. He 
had created, out of some rather un 
promising material, a 20-million-dollar 
property and in the process he had even 
maged to hedge his bet financially. 
m was loaned by the studio to Otto 
ninger lor The Man with the Golden 
frm for $100,000. At che time, the studio 
was paying her $730 a week, Like Miss 
Hayworth before her, Miss Novak de 
manded а bigger salary. Harry Cohn 
screamed, Miss Novak emerged from the 
meeting and nounced, 7I didn't cry 
at all. 1 was very dignified and, you 
know, it was the best talk Mr. Cohn and 
1 ever had," It. was, too. She got the ad- 
vance in salary she'd asked for 

Miss Novak hadn't hurt her case any 
by holding а press conference before her 
meeting with Harry and telling the 
porters that she was paid so little that 
she had to go to the studio to get her 
r done and borrow a dress whenever 
she went to а party. “Don't say things 
like that," Cohn told her later, “ 
me sound. cheap." 

Now that she was getting the 
of a star, Miss Novak began to act 
опе. At least she began to act like the 
kind of star she'd read about in the 


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fan magazines when she was a chubby 
little girl back in Chicago. On the set 
she was known to fluctuate between tears 
and tantrums, She discovered Freud and 
sprinkled her self-revelations during 
interviews with words like “emotional 
tensions based on sibling rivalries.” She 
talked about her “basic insecurities” and 
paraded anecdotes about her childhood 
with the assurance that comes only to a 
beautiful girl who can get away with 
boring her listeners by talking about her- 
self in the third person. Like the queens 
of another ста in Hollywood, she fre- 
quently һай mood music played for her 
on the set. During the filming of Jeanne 
Eagels she kept an accordionist gainfully 
employed for weeks playing Poor Butter- 
Пу to get her in the mood for а series of 
scenes involving the hootchy-kootchy and 
a midnight skinny dip with costar Jelt 
Chandler. She didn't feel the studio was 
really interested їп her progress as a 
serious actress and is said to have paid 
own di tic lessons. 

Cohn, all of this was an old 


dispute, 
Cohuvereated love goddess 
What he didn't know was that he was on 
the threshhold of his final fight, a fight 
that some Hollywood sentimentalists 
contend killed him, a fight that certainly 
buted to the coronary thrombosis 
proved to be f. a minor wa 
Harry Cohn was responsible for the 
whole thing. Miss Novak. insecure and 
frightened by the build-up, did prefer 
staying at the Studio Club among the 
girls she considered her pe She was 
afraid of the Hollywood parties and the 
whoop-te-do of the Beverly Hi Bel 
Aire, Brentwood social axis. Cohn 
ordered her to go out socially, to be 

in the right places and to get her n 

in the columns. So she started being se 
at Hollywood parties. 

At one of the parties she met $; 
hey became friends and saw 
each other again, And again. Then they 
fell in love. Blind items began to appear 
in some of the gossip columns, starting 
with Dorothy Kilgallen’s, and Harry 
Cohn began to get restless. Miss Novak 
made several command. appearances 
the Throne Room at Columbia and, on 
these occasions, she had reason to 1 
the presence of her creator. The affair 
reached its apogee in Chicago in Decem 
зу Was appearing at the 
Chez Parce and Kim was in town to 
spend the holidays with her family. 
Word reached Cohn that the two of 
them planned to be secretly marned. He 
had to move fast, and he did, with all 
the awesome influence and pressure at 
his command. 

For the record, it should be said here 
that Harry Cohn's reaction to the ro- 


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mance between his new star Novak amd 
Negro entertaincr Davis had nothing 1 
do with prejudice or bigotry, “Say what 
you will about Cohn." an aw 
me. "Не was an intolerant sob 
about that kind of thing. He did't give 
a damn what color you were; where. or 
И. you wens to church. He was intersted 
only in what you could do for Columbia 
Pictures and Harry Cohn! 

His anger at the Novak-Davis ompling 
was simple to explain. Harry Cohn was in 
the movie business. Kim Novak mas his 


top star, and publicity thar threat 
ened to cot down the h sppeal 
ol Miss any wg 


ment of the public bad to be desti 
Imiders claim that Hary Cohn 
manipulated the gods of publicity with 
inspired skill in building Mis Novak 
weal his greatest 


about her 


into a star, really perf 


feat in wlencitix the м. 


amd Sammy. Even the peep 


any n 


vines were шш] until n iln 
after the affair — and Harry Cohn — were 
dead. Whether Cohn wed bribery, 
threats, persuasion or (са 
silence the gossip may never be 1 

What is known is that the r 
and marriage were successfuily th 
Sam 
going to marry a n 


of асры! to 


y suddenly announced that hr was 
ghtclub performer of 
his own race. These clove to hin insist 
that Sammy's sudden 


знаке 1o u inl 


hed ever dated was aml 
that — in fact =й was his « T 
The marriage ended in di E 


months Later with a Вам over o шр 


pood prenuptially promist sitlemcnt 


whos wort ol presa TEM 
T ol the big ims 

that 

enaki force him to not only sop «eig 
the girl he loved. but marry чи № 


ly Reeve? The trade paper Molly 
wood Clase Up uated. “И has heen n 
ded as an open secret within He 


{that Davis was alleged w have 


been thcatened by book in Las Ves 


ating at the emtigation ol the heal 
a major studio. that if he didn't 
riod “by Saterday 


пу!» © be мины! 


be taken out in the middle of the desert 


en 


md we will plug out ух 


то 
Sammy had previously log an eve in an 
Vent 


automobile a 


И worked Ehe The 
vuamdlal. the gip died Shortly alter 
y» mariage, Kim was linked n 


mantically with same ol the beget 
Wow ocrptable юқ «Бе names in 


ihwal, romances, суми» chnel, 


wore made on Gower Мес rather 

1 heave Columbia № 
which was anacher way of sayit 
^. gave Mis Nowak a $100,000 buie 
m Bel un 


mablv a» а bonus lur 


Wath order again restored to his Мп 
dom, Harry Cohn went to the dori re 


sort т Arizona to rest up. Dorothy Kil- 


allen, who had probably done more to | SWINGIN! EST 


Taie Mr. Colin's blood pressure in the 


last months of his life than any other 
бен cha moet Азов SHIRT 
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PLAYBOY PRODUCTS, Dept 128 his stubbornness, his pride. but many of 


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232 East Ohio St., Chicego 11, Minces 
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