Full text of "PLAYBOY"
GALA HOLIDAY ISSUE
ERNEST HEMINGWAY - MORT
SAHL- WILLIAM SAROYAN «
WILLIAM BUCKLEY > PHILIP
WYLIE - BUDD SCHULBERG ғ
NORMAN MAILER * NUDES OF
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PRICES PLUS TAX, ALSO SOLD IN CANADA
Stradivari, Beloved, and Abano at better stores everywhere.
PLAYBOY
HEAR! HEAR! GIFT IDEAS OF THE YEAR
Take your Christmas list to your RCA Victor dealer tomorrow! You'll find these and other great albums
L - NE ш
PETE BRADY "How the West
Was Swung." Here's a winning
newcomer to RCA ог.
handsome Canadian wi'
swinging beat giving a new
twist to favorite songs of our
own West. Whether it's lush
strings or brassy brass behind
him, the beat's all Pete's. “Yel-
low Rose of Texas,” 11 more!
PETER NERO ''The Colorful
Peter Nero." The young Mr.
Nero plucks melodies from the
rainbow (with fullorchestration
behind) to paint a lucid picture
of piano virtuosity. Listen to
the colors: "Tangerine," "Deep
Purple," “Journey To Red
Rocks." Quotes from the clas:
sics throughout. Handsome gi
“TWO OF A MIND” It's Paul
Desmond and Gerry Mulligan
in one of the finest sax collab-
orations in jazz recording!
Paul's delicate alto against
Gerry's robust baritone is a
brilliant example of sax com-
patibility in counterpoint. In-
cluded are: "Stardust," ut of
Nowhere" and “Two of a Mind."
TWO OF A MIND
PAUL GERRY
DESMOND MULLIGAN
DELLA REESE “Della On
Stage." Here's the definitive
Della — alive, alert and with
audience to match. From her
up opener "Comes Once In a
Lifetime," to her ad lib romp
through "Bye Bye, Blackbird,"
you get all the action and re
action you'd hear at the Copa
or Coconut Grove. Upbeat gift!
ty
pant
AL HIRT “Trumpet and
Strings.” Midst holly, candle
glow and mistletoe, this album
will be right at home. Another
ide of Al's artistry—as the big
brass tone is tastefully muted,
Шеп ЫШ delightfully fu
and definitive with
Stringsin fullattendance. Oneof
the cheeriest gifts imaginable!
TRUMPET ena STRINGS eh
MARTY PAICH ORCHESTRA
“BENNY GOODMAN IN MOS-
COW" On-the-spot recording of
the first performance by an
American jazz band in Russi
Goodman classics such as
"Let's Dance," "Goodbye" and
a nicety called "Mission to
Moscow." (To thunderous ap-
plause and nary a "nyet" to be
heard!) Excellent gift thought!
BENNY GOODMAN «^»
in MOSCOW
Actual on-the-spot
recordings of the
first performances
THE LIMELITERS "Folk Mati-
nee.” Another frolic through a
dozen delightful new Lime-
enlightened melodies zestfully
emoted to accompanying bass,
banjo and guitar. Among the
delights are: "Sweet Water
Rolling,” “Uncle Benny's Cele-
bration” and an inspired new
roundelay they call "Funk."
THE LIMELITERS
FOLK MATINEE
ES
ie
..FROM THE STARS ON RGA VICTOR C»
.. gifts to delight and entertain every name on your list! @The most trusted name in sound
LENA HORNE “Lena . .. Lovely
and Alive." Starting with the
strikingly beautiful cover and
continuing through the last
note of the last selection in the
album, Lena is absolutely
breath-taking! “I Got Rhythm,”
"Мапе to Be Happy” and other
first-person declarations. A
lovely gift from a lovely Lena.
AVAILABLE IN LIVING STEREO. MONAURAL ANO TAPE
Treat:
“your taste
‘kindly
KING SIZE
аһа
THE CIGARETTE WITH THE NEW MICRONITE FILTER
Refines away harsh flavor...refines away
rough taste... for the mildest taste of all 1
TH = елу еве THE FILTER; THE MILO от THE TASTE
©1962 P. lorillerd Co.
PLAYBILL
IT gs OUR CUSTOM, cach January, to ring
out the old year by ringing up 51000
bonus awards for the best fiction and
best nonfiction published in our pages
during the past 12 mouths. Each year
the task of selecting the | inn
has become increasingly difficult; in
1962 our feast of fiction was served up
by such top talents as Nelson Algren,
Ludwig Bemelmans, Ray Bradbury, Jack
Finney, Paul Gallico, Herbert Gold,
James Jones, Garson К, w.
Purdy, Ray Russell, Will
Francoise Sagan, James Thurber, P.
Wodehouse d Wolle, among
many others. A difficult choice, as you
jı see, but we herewith bestow our
Best Fiction laure па loot — upon
novelist James Jones for his deeply
etched war story, The Thin Red Line
viewing his major work of the same
le), which we serialized in August,
September and October, Honorable men-
tions in the fiction department go to
Bernard Wolfe for Anthony Jrom Afar
(February), to Harry Mark Petrakis for
The Miracle (May) and to PLAYBOY new-
comer Rick Rubin for Winter in This
Latitude (Decembe
Choosing our nonfiction prizewinner
was no less beset by an embarrassment
of riches; the article authors this past
year included, to name only а few,
Charles Beaumont, Arthur C. Clarke,
J. Paul Getty, Ben Hecht. Leicester
Hemingway, Nat Hentoll. Morton Hunt,
Al Morgan, Robert Ruark, Dan Wak
ch-hitting Ken W. Purdy,
s Best Fiction bonus for
90175 Best Ar-
s. This year's
ner (it's getting to be a habit) is again
Ken W. Purdy for his powerful and per-
ceptive Stirling Moss: A Nodding Ac-
quaintance with Death, (The prolific
Purdy gets off to a fast start in the 1963
bonus race in this issue with our lead
fiction, The Golden Frog, a frightening
le of a carillonneur who embraces a
strange fate in the secret heights of his
bell tower.) Honorable mentions in the
fiction field go to science writer
Arthur C. Clarke for The Hazards of
Prophecy (March), the keynote article
his vravkov series on the expindin,
potential of modem man, and to billion
aire J. Paul Getty, our Consulting Editor
on Business and ance, lor What
Makes an Executive? (May), an invaluable
self-gauge for aspiring captains of com-
merce. (Getty, too, is back with us u
month with an analysis of The Million-
aire Mentality which, he avers, is one
thing à computer can never possess.)
In the Holiday Issuccat-hand, you'll
find a special portfolio of articles and
features entitled A Man's. World. Its
contents certain to be prized for
(а sons) a literary coup
оГ conside: J ser
os of
life and art, Jove and death by Ernest
Hemingway, who gave them shortly be-
fore his death to California's nonprofi
Wisdom Foundation. Knowing
these choice thoughts of the genera
greatest writer might otherwise be lost to
the world of letters we sought and
gained the Foundation’s permission to
publish them.
Hemingway's statements, cn
Man's Credo, are strikingly book
herein by a specially cut two-sided pro-
himself. The profile
unites Credo with still another lite
bute by
scoop — a rugged blank-verse tr
Russia's [reestthi i ki
poet-rebel, Ev ıko. entitled
Meeting with Hemingway. The poc
was penned in Evtush
apartment at a small desk domin;
by а large photo of the bi
ght- year-old,
Evtushenko n
Cuba lust y
по Moscow
le bold on
to v the house
which Hemingway wrote The Old Man
s,” says Evtushenko,
and the Sea, “He
“my favorite prose writer by fur.” Hi
poem was translated by George Reavey,
an Oxford don who is himself а poet
(The Colors of Memory) and a critic
(Soviet Literature Today).
Although it lasted only two minutes
and six seconds, the Liston-Patterson
championship fight achieves epic pro-
portions through the cyes of famed
SCHULPERG
кеки
EVIUSHENKO
BUCKLEY
WYLIE
SAROYAN
Hollywood writer Budd Schulberg and
combat novelist Gerald. Kersh in Back-
ground and Battleground, а sharp one-
iwo исинин of the leatherfisted
gladiators and the mystique of the
heavyweight championship that brou
them so brielly together. Schulberg and
Kersh, both lifelong boxing bulls. were
well-qualified for their ringside as
ment: Schulberg, of course, is the author
of The Harder They Fall and Kersh,
who has authored several fightbooks
was, for a time, a semi-pro wrestler (“But
a very poor one,” he
Three days before the Bi
capo was the scene of a memorable
verbal battle between novelist (The
Naked and the Dead) Norman Mailer,
and author (God and Man al Yale)
William F. Buckley, fr. editor of the
conservative National Review, in a
debate on the nature of the American
Right, arranged by John Golden Pro-
ductions and staged before 3600 par-
tisins of the Left and Right. Here, for
the first time, are the open
Doth combatants, written es
PLAYBOY and ceremonially deliv
our offices before the deb: s
envelopes— by the disputants themselves.
An exclusive transcript of the ensui
debate will appear in our February issu
For those who debate the real nature
and concept of PLayuoy, we oller Part П
of The Playboy Philosophy by Editor
Publisher Hugh M. Hefner, In this issue,
Hefner discusses the womanization of
America and explains rLAYBOY’S concept
of and counter to the Asexual Society
For still another view of the PLAYBOY
concept, see Salil on Playboy, a friendly
asSahlt by хий Mort Sahl.
Novelist-polemicist Philip Wylie, per
a battler against an apr
society (Generation of Vipers),
in this issue with a surgical dissection of
The Career Woman. This month, as
Wylie's latest novel, Triumph (a fright
ening vision of World War Ш) rolls off
the presses, momism's mortal enemy is
busy in his Miami home working on a
the effect of the
las
Fight, Chi
jon on Flor
proud Seminole Indians. But he tells us
he's troubled by а secret yearning: “I
would like, at least once, to do an article
% the case, Wylie will envy
arovan who, in To Be C
Ieous 10 Women, є bpy
about a harried author who briclly b
comes involved with some fine
an filles — and. he's in favor of them
all the way. Now on a European sojourn,
the fabled Saroyan tells us he's busy
producing several of his own plays. Also
embroiled
play production — but for
television — is Henry Slesar, whose short
The Glowworm may start a new
lad in lapel jewelry. In Slesars ironic
fantasy, a tiny glowworm pin is the
symbol of a secret society ol pleasure-
bent. per[ectionists — male and femal
who need no other introduction.
Cleopatra, we suspect, would hav
been tailor-made for the Glowworm folk
and Liz as Cleo, our photo preview of
the forthcoming spectacular, glows with
exclusive undressed shots of Elizabeth
Taylor. Similarly appealing is our
al Playmate Review, nine pages of
proof that 1962 was indeed а bountiful
year, Our statistical deparun
that last years "average Playmate" (а
contradiction in terms) was five-feet-
four, weighed 115 pounds, measured а
heat 37-22-35 and was just а shade under
21 years of age.
If you can tear yourself away from our
gatefold girls, you may want to try your
crayons on what we deem to be ihe
а book to end all coloring books.
The Playboy Coloring Book, consider
what might have happened if some f:
mous folk had heeded our Retroactive
New Year's. Resolutions, follow the Lu
est foibles of Little Annie Fanny. shop
rom our Last-Minute (Christmas Cache,
wack down this seasons newest ski
sweaters, partake of Food and Drink
Editor Thomas Mario's plans for The
New Years Day Brunch, and join us in
toast with Champagne Plus.
Cheers.
t tells us
color
Any
FIVE
Albums
only лез
shipping charge
‘When you become a trial member of the Angel Division of
the Capitol Record Club and agree to buy only six future
selections from the several hundred available Angel and
Capitol albums to be offered you during the next 12 months,
YONUDI MENUKIN
REVERIE
sens | iron. } уо ANE атак
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CONCERTO IND. Yehudi Men- NO. 5 and FINLANDIA. Herb. PAENOLE. OP. 21. Leorid TOUCH OF YOUR LIPS. Nol REVERIE TOR SPANISH CUI IN” SESSION! il time CINI HEROINES. Favorite
uhin in a thrilling perform. ert von Karajan conducts The Kogan, viel. уги Rondrash- So Long Ago, 1 Remember TARS, 11 classical works ty favorites. Always. Paper
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169 SOVIET Ary cHoRUS Б] boxes below. Bill me Only $1.00 plus а small shipping | simply — here's how
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{cit ballads and army songs z 1. Each month you will
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LAND y nm сіт. ma Met ime [Б] Enrol mein the folowing division under e terms set Tonn | scribes new selections.
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к Semana and tne Pro arte Oe Б] NO RISK—SEND NO MONEY! If not delighted with my al- | bums to be offered you
pube LUE cord ant counts as bums. 1 can retum them within 7 days and all chai during the next 12
HUE E EC wo separate section.) [E] willbe canceled. Г ‘ges | months, you need pur
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Ses dE Hese omone [5] Ducum cum Tes Lae aco Gr] | mieu time a
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a92, MILES pavis. BIRTH ieprrton ty Hertert von [O] | membersmp. The Ciub sells stereo recores for 31 noB
ira. Jason, cerry Nu monia. Monaural only теч gnum records you buy. you БО
dn ard others 14 eor =I ay only the Club price [5
Wes Monaural ‘ty 523 RIMSKY-KORSAKOV: |Ë] MR. FSB or 34.98 Gece. [a]
713, Beethoven: piap 85, VIKING! Hollywood Bowl SCHEMERAZAOL. Erich Leins- MRS. e sionally $5.96), plus a Û
Conceato. no. 1; SONATA Symphony plays AE a hien G| miss (Please Print) small shipping charge. [S|
WO. 27. Solomon, piano- ш. ameet йз Bewithing mes. ^ [6 4. After you buy these [S|
" aes i you chess ө ы [S]
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СОДА < Yo join through on authorized Angei-Cspitol Record desler, write his name end address in the [|
ANGEL DIVISION UL "he Regimental Band 361. STAN FREBERG pae- |G] martin » Canada: Slightly higher Prices Mail to — 1164 Cásllefield Ave., Toronto. [5
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99 Best-Selling Reasons
why you should join the COLUMBIA RECORD CLUB now!
VEE
TAKE GOOD
CARE OF
WY BABY
128. Love Is A Мапу
Splendored Thing, А
Summer Place, etc.
61. The Second Time
Around, Fascination,
неу There, 9 more
285. Twelve big hits
by one of Ameri
hottest. singers
50. "И soars and it
swings
through.
SOUND
OF
JOHNNY
Sue; You Reme
bered Me; 12 in
CHUBBY CHECKER
love is Like
A Twist, 12 in all
DICK VAN DYKE
CHITA RIVERA.
ORIGINAL
GROADWAY CAST
96. “Happy, zestiul,
clean... most capti-
vating."-N.Y. News
MORE JOHNNY'S
GREATEST HITS
at the piano (ARISE
17. Themes from
Ben Casey, br. Kil-
dare, intermeazo,etc.
JOHNNY]
164. Ballad of Pala-
Gin, The Searchers,
Hannah Lee. 9 more
SENTIMENTAL
Sing Along wit Mitch
The World's Largest Record Club Invites New Members To Choose
Here's а compact,
brass-finished rack
whose capacity
grows as your col-
lection grows. it's
adjustable — holds
from 1 to 60 records
securely. Folds flat
When not in use.
tf You JOIN NOW
ANY 6
of the best-selling records shown here—in your choice of
REGULAR
HIGH- FIDELITY
or STEREO
ADJUSTABLE
24, Also: Malaguena,
Sabre Dance, Рем
dia, Mam'selle, etc.
260. Gay and effer-
vescent, this one is
a real treat
HARMONICATS ron e" Ү] [Ray Connift Singers] [Ray connie] | TCHAIKOVSKY
ш S0 MUCH пах CONNIE Symphony No. 7
EN N 'S Cortinentat us Wold ]° ا
š Yates Е: КСА
Peg O° My Hear nar cron bird
Doep Рур 559 бка
ЕА пере тынат СНИ
[scum Essi tn PHILADELPHIA ORCH.
38. White cliffs
Dover, Lisbon Anti
gua, TicoTico, etc.
JOHNNY
BURNETTE'S
HITS
and
ome Û
lavorhtes
FINLANDIA
WEE UM:
[e
<
[0
97. Ethel Merman's
“most darling mo-
ment."-N.
242. “appealing
lunes and Jush ro-
manticism." Life
FERRANTE
& TEICHER
TONIGHT
aa. Also: Lili Mar-
lene, King of Kings,
la Strada, etc.
TETAAN
the Rain, Bewitched,
Eka
FRANKIE ТИНЕ
GREATEST HITS
na 4
аан
Granada, That Lucky
Old Sun, etc. *
EX.
ndmomentum" Y.
World Telegram.
406. But Not For Me,
The Party's Over, Í
Should Care, 9 more
29. Also: Stella By
Starlight, How High
‘the Moon, ete.
+ Yoru or
ue atone
+ cme noc
Жү
83. Also: Hurt, You
Can Have Her, Don't
Let Co, etc. Ë
MENDELSSOHN
and BRUCH
MOLIN CONCERTI
ZINO FRANCESCATH
263. Two of the most
popular and appeal
ing violin concertos
$
FOR | SSS
ONLY
if you join the Club now and agree to purchase
as few as 6 selections from the more than 400
to be made available in the coming 12 months
HERE IS THE GREATEST SELECTION OF BEST-SELLING RECORDS
EVER OFFERED TO READERS OF THIS PUBLICATION . . . 99
outstanding recordings from every field of music — popular,
classical, show music, jazz, humor, country and western. By
joining now, you may have ANY SIX of these exciting best-
sellers for only $1.95. What's more, you'll also receive a
handsome adjustable record rack — absolutely free!
TO RECEIVE YOUR 6 RECORDS FOR ONLY $1.99 — simply fill
in and mail the attached postage-paid card today. Be sure to
indicate whether you want your € records (and all future
Selections) in regular high-fidelity or stereo. Also indicate
which Club Division best suits your musical taste: Classical:
listening and Dancing; Broadway, Movies, Television and
Musical Comedies; Country and Western; Jazz.
HOW THE CLUB OPERATES: Each month the Club's staff of
music experts selects outstanding records from every field
of music. These selections are fully described in the Club's
music Magazine, which you receive free each month
You may accept the monthly selection for your Division . . .
or take any of the wide variety of other records offered in
the Magazine, from all Divisions . .. or take no record in
any particular month. Your only membership obligation is
to purchase 6 records from the more than 400 to be offered
in the coming 12 months. Thereafter, you have no further
obligation to buy any additional records . . . and you may
discontinue your membership at any time.
FREE RECORDS GIVEN REGULARLY. If you wish to continue as
а member after purchasing six records, you will receive —
FREE — а record of your choice for every two additional
selections you buy — а 50% dividend!
, The records you want are mailed and billed to you at the
list price of $3.98 (Classical $4.98; occasional Original Cast
recordings somewhat higher), plus a small mailing and han-
dling charge. Stereo records are $1.00 more.
MAIL THE POSTAGE-PAID CARD TODAY to receive your 6
records — plus a free adjustable record rack—for only $1.99.
NOTE: Stereo records must be played only on a stereo record
player. If you do not now own one, by all means continue to
acquire regular high-fidelity records. They will play with
true-to-life fidelity on your present phonograph апе will
Sound even more brilliant on a stereo phonograph if you
Purchase one in the future.
COLUMBIA RECORD CLUB • Terre Haute, Indiana
‘SCHUBERT,
‘Symphonies Noc. 5
апа В чити
BRUNO WALTER ecg
BEETHOVEN
Violin Concerto|
186. Also: Tell Mer
For Me, Sleepy Time.
Gal, Linda, el
"Count
287. "tlowingly
beatfitul full of co-
53. My One And Unly
love, wait Till You
See Him, 12 in all
Q "ріс," @ Marcas Reg. © Columbla Records Distribution Corp., 1003
TRE BROTHERS FOUR
GREATEST HTS
20. Greenfields, My
Tani, Green Leaves
of Summer, 9 more
JOHNNY DORIS DAYS | MARTY ROBBINS’
MATHIS 3 GREATEST Hits | GREATEST HITS |
WARN i Em
want YERE Gy som i e Haag er
YOUNG e ` тйс White Sport Ceat
атти Ў юн shu: 10 nere
-9more 3
150. Also: Aloha Qe,
She Was Only Seven-
teen, etc. ж
6. Also: Twelfth of
Never, No Love,
Соте To Me, etc. ж
52. Also: А Guy Is A
Guy; Whatever
Be, Will Be; elc. ж
"The stereo version of this record 15 electronically re-chenneled
|
|.
Гетта)
Also: swingin’
l, ete. (Not
lable in stereo)
Si ZENTHER
‘and his
Orchestra.
THE STRIPPER,
and other
big tand hits
[ioa]
Mays Yel _
ROBERT ;,
GOUIET
mm Фу
a”
E
138. stranger 0n the
Shore, Midnight im
Moscow, 12 in all
180. Moon River, M)
Kind of Girl, Teac!
Me Tonight, 9 more
‘LERNER & LOEWE]
Camelot
A m
E [o
Sorry Now?, Sep
пег Song, 12 in all
296; Cathy's Clown.
beautiful musical, a Lucille, A Change of
riumph."-Kilgallen Heart, 12 in all
291-292. TweRecerd set (Counts As Two
Selections.) “Intense
Вией with controlled ferver.
268. Includes catchy
‘trumpet tunes, airs,
marches, etc.
Johnny Reb, The Man:
‘sion Yeu Stole, ete.
221. It's АП In the
Game, Full Moon and
Empty Arms, 10 more
402. "А rousing рег.
formance.. verve and
viger.""- Billboard
DULIE ANDREWS
"Relentless mo:
'excitemey
Chronicle
405. Teen Beat, One
Mini Julep, Raunchy,
What'd | Say, etc.
120. Also: Love For
Sale, Candy Kisses,
Marry Young, ete.
beautiful al
lovely, lilting
coum}
Bonanza, Gun-
smoke, 12 in all
93. The best-selling
Original Cast record-
34. Stars & Stripes
Forever, Washington
Post March, etc.
204, Mr. Brailowsky
poet of the
'—N.Y. Times
162. Also: I'm Just
Here To Get My Baty
Out of Jail, ete.
HOSE Ae N
JIMENEZ
ROUND
ABOUT.
MIDNIGHT
CARNIVAL of ANDAALS|
270. "something no
one should pass up.”
— Washington Star
|| Bobby Vinton sings
gl
at 0.K. Corral, Raw-
hide, etc.
103. It's “Hooray
for Jose Jimenez!”
—N.Y. Journal-amer,
280. This is "ап ех.
traordinary chorus.”
Hew York Times
54. All Df You, Bye
Bye Blackbird, Ah-
leuChaet. ' ж
129. Also: Home, My
‘Own True Love,
gen, The Me C
259. Also: Britten's
‘Young Person's Guide
To the Orchestra
173. Crying, 1 Can't
Help it, True Love,
Mr. Lonely,
132. 1he Band Played 252. "Perfermánces
On, A Bicycle Built that realy sparkle
For Two, 12 more and glow."-High Fld.
and other
‘fabulous
sanat
65. Includes: She'll
Have to Go, someday,
Four Walls, 9 more
148. "'Wacketl's cor-
ing is just
t. Chron.
Tristan unt Isolde
Die Meistersinger
Tannhauser
Ta CLEVELAND о‹
300. "Superb . .. all
the Beauly, & nobility
Captured."-HIFI Rev.
И manara MH
JACKSON E
em _
RICHARD TUCKER
RIEN FARRELL
241. "Two of th
greatest singers.”
NY. Herald Trib.
AL CAIOLA
ойо Golo GUITAR
"Walloping en-
sembles and stirring.
Solos!"’—High Fidel.
SHOW Ве
151. Also: Billy the
Kid, In the Valley,
StrawberryRoan,etc.
Bolero + La Valse
Rapsodie Espagnole
195. Oklahema Bi
Make the Water: pliable wit, superb
wheel Roll, 10 in all timing."-Esqoire
|McDanieis'
Iul
57. Nine Pound Ham-
mer, Hear the Wind
Blow, 12 in all
271. The most pas-
Sionate love music
ever composed ,
The Versatile
HENRY
MANCINI
c)
50. Trees, Because,
‘anny Boy, My Task,
My Friend, 7 mere
Norman Lubolt Choir
Ti Karar
Shite Aga
05. Starring William
Warfield, Anita Da-
rian, Barbara Cook
=
E
EXODUS
| THE APARTMENT
401. It's АП In the 94. Stranger in Par.
Game, Till There Was adise, And This Is
My Beloved, etc. +
206. "A top-notch
performance.” Amer.
198. The Breeze and
1, Ebb Tide, Sleepy
Lagoon, 12 in all
FLAMENCO 1
ДҮ,
EE
LIKE LOVE
im Me
beer te
190. Also: Pretend,
And the Angels Sing, Super. Recording:
Cherry Pink, ete. ° Exeellent."-MiFi Rev.
345, Happy Talk,
Little Grass Shacl
Cha Cha Cha, ete.
46. Also: Like Some-
опе in Love, When 1
Fall In Love, ete.
ROCCE à MANWERSTEN
102. Complete score
of "another REH win-
neri" Newsweek
ky
{Part and W) end
Т Do, Boster, etc.
251. “Richness of
the harmenies...gor-
geour."-Mi Fi Rev.
107, Also, some Like
It Hot, Magnificent
Seven, Smile, etc,
303. Mama, Come
Back To Sorrento, ‘0
Sole Mio, 12 in all
vol. 10, no. 1 — january, 1963
Annucl Playmate Review w 125
А Man's Credo P. 120
Last-Minute Gifts Р. 99
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CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
PLAYBILL_ — 5
DEAR PLAYBOY. 15
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 2
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR.. 35
PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK—travel
THE PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY: PART TWO—editorial
THE GOLDEN FROG—fiction..
CHAMPAGNE PLUS—drink -
THE GLOWWORM—fiction
NEW YEAR'S DAY BRUNCH—food and drink
PATRICK CHASE 39
HUGH M. HEFNER 41
KEN W. PURDY 54
THOMAS MARIO 58
HENRY SLESAR 61
THOMAS MARIO 62
THE PLAYBOY COLORING BOOK—setire. өз
TRACKI—atlire....... ROBERT 1. GREEN 79
UZ AS CLEO—pictorial. 80
RETROACTIVE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS—humor 89
SELECTED SHORT SUBJECT—playboy's playmate of the month. . 90
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor. - 96
LAST-MINUTE CHRISTMAS CACHE—cifts ç 99
ON THE SCENE— personalities. 104
TO BE COURTEOUS TO WOMEN—fiction WILIAM SAROYAN 107
А MAN'S WORLD—compendium T 109
THE ROLE OF THE RIGHT WING IN AMERICA TODAY
A CONSERVATIVE'S VIEW МІШАМ F. BUCKLEY, JR. 110
A UBERAL'S VIEW. NORMAN MAILER 111
THE MILLIONAIRE MENTALITY... a J. PAUL GETTY 113
CHAMPIONSHIP BOXING AND THE LISTON-PATTERSON FIGHT
BATTLEGROUND. "
BACKGROUND. _
THE CAREER WOMAN
SAHL ON PLAYBOY
A MAN'S CREDO.
GERALD KERSH 114
BUDD SCHULBERG 115
PHILIP WYUE 117
MORT SAHL 119
ERNEST HEMINGWAY 120
MEETING WITH HEMINGWAY... ME EVGENY EVTUSHENKO 123
PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW—picterial > 125
THE PROPER UNIFORM FOR SPORT—ribald classic 135
THE THINKER—solire, JULES FEIFFER 139
HOW TO SELECT YOUR FIRST WIFE—s: SHEPHERD MEAD 145
LITTLE ANNIE FANNY—sai HARVEY KURTZMAN ond WILL ELDER 176
HUGH M. HEFNER editor and publisher
associate publisher and editorial director
AR
TORSK
HUR PAUL art director
JACK J. KESSIE managing edilor VINCI
ENT T. TAJIRI picture editor
FRANK DE BLOIS, JEREMY DOLE, MURRAY FISHER, TOM. LOWNES, SHELDON WAX associate
editors; комит L. GREEN fashion director; DAVID TAYLOR associate fashion edilor;
THOMAS MARIO food & drink editor; тллтаск. сизе travel editor; J. PAUL rry
Consulting editor, business and finance; CHARLES BEAUMONT, RICHARD GEIMAN,
PAUL KRASSNER, REN W. гоншу contributing editors; ROBERT CASSELL сору editor;
STAN AMBER associate copy editor; RAY WILLIAMS assistant editor; ВЕУ CHAMBERLAIN
associate picture editor; DON BRONSTEIN, MARIO CASILLI, POMPEO POSAR, JERRY
YULSMAN staff photographers: веі AUSTIN associate art director; " KAPLAN,
JOSEPH H. PACZEK assistant art directors; WALTER KRADENYCH, ELLEN PACZEK arl
assistants; jonn MASTKO production manager; FERN A. WEAKTEL assistant
production manager = HOWARD W. LEDIRER advertising director; JULES KASE eastern
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DEAR PLAYBOY
Ë] Acpaess PLAYBOY MAGAZINE - 232 E. ОНО ST., CHICAGO 11, ILLINOIS
FANNY MAIL
I believe you are entitled to far more
than the modicum ol pride you cla
for introducing the Harvey Kurt
Will Elder series, Little Annie Fanny, in
your October issuc. The comic genius of
this pair has been too long neglected,
and with Annie, they have taken the
comic strip into a new dimension of satir-
phic art.
William Kastanotis
Lynn, Massachusetts
and g
Annie Fanny ain't funny. It earmarks
your magazine as juvenile and drags it
down to the level of Mad magazine.
Alfred E. Neuman is no match for J.
paul Getty or Robert Ruak.
Glenn Elliott
Houston, Te
ance of Little Annie
anny on PLAYROV's pages was a very
cshing surprise. Messrs. Kurtzman
and Elder have indeed created à success.
"s antics rather than her
will keep her on the road
to success. Bravo!
The recent appea
Michael Wyckoff
St. Cloud, M
After all that buildup, Little Annie
Fanny turned out to be a bu
Erika Wolfson
Evanston, Ilinois
I couldn't be more pleased that Harvey
Kuruman and Will Elder have now in-
vaded the world of the sophisticate. 1
sincerely hope that Little Annie and her
fanny tickle the fancy of the world.
Bruce F. Lowitt
Brooklyn, New York
Kick Little Annie out on her lanny.
Larry E. VanHoose
Glen Burnic, Maryland
service to
ng Kurz-
You have done a great
devotees of satire. by brii
man, Elder and Little Annie Fanny to
LAYBOY.
Тот Hackett
Columbus, Ohio
I have not come to praise Harvey
Kurtzman (because 1 have long consid-
cred. him a satiric talent of major pro-
poten
p format. Critics of the comics over-
look the fact that what we sec of comics
is virtually always the Code-restricted
incs or those dished out by
the taboo-ridden paper syndicates.
Asa result they have attracted few writer-
e talent and the few
ted people in the field are severely
limited in a medium of immense possi-
bilities. I look forward to eventual
tion of Little Annie
аппу. Once your audience is condi-
tioned to Annie, the time may be ripe
for an experiment in seriocomic art that
would prove the comics a legitimate
lite n. A combat story, for in-
an Mailer or
and layouts by
new
Bob Stewart
New York, New York
PAUL BEARERS
1 enjoyed Paul Gallico's The Picture
Thieves in your October issue, finding it
an amusing fictionalized theory concern-
ing the art snatches.
Daniel Catton Rich, Director
Art Museum
achusetts
your Octobe
long admired Mx.
why he wasn’t pu
he is our
«o and wondered
lished morc often. In
k
presentday А
Dexter S. Miller
Norfolk, Virg
THE WRITER WRITES
Just a note to tell you that I continue
to read rLAvnoY cach month with a great
deal of pleasure. 1 am especially im-
pressed by the high quality of your
PLAYBOY, JANUARY, 1963, VOL 10, HO. 1
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fiction; the well-ploued, entertaining
stories you publish are outstanding. Your
authors certainly know how to make a
reader turn the page.
А. S. Burack, Editor
The Writer
Boston, Massachusetts
HOURS
In the October issue, I found a refer-
ence in Playboy After Hours to inter-
course, Pennsylvania, a neighboring
locale to my old home town. I feel you
missed one salient feature, namely that
a short distance from Intercourse is
nother small town called Paradise. Any
Lancaster County boy will tell you that
the best way to Paradise is throug!
Intercourse,
William C. Barton
Glenville, New York
SELLERS DWELLERS
My only complaint with your October
Peter Sellers interview was that it wasn't
long enough.
Tony Randall
New York, New York
I truly enjoyed reading your
ew with Peter Sellers. Sellers came
alive as a person in an extraordinary
way, and his thoughts, frustr
pleasures — both as a human be
an actor—were captured very well
indeed.
tel
Kim Hunter
New York,
cw York
h Peter. Sellers,
candid conve
mi
In your interview wi
your headline reads
tion with england's pi
mummery.” To spell England without a
capital letter is ungrammatical and an
insult.
ter of
R. Bryan С.
St. Anne'son-Sea
Lancaster, England
was а subheadline, and the
casing was strictly a malter of
style, Mr. Cain; all words in our subhead-
lines are lower case. No offense, old chap.
That
lower
Im а gre
interview with Peter Sellers of whom —
like everyone else — Pm a fervent. fan
ways reads with interest what any-
| one's own profession has to say
about the problems of pe his
“instrument” — unlike the violinist who
can acquire by purchase а perfect Strad,
or à pianist who can have his Baldwi
always tuned to concert pitch — an actor
has to be both instrument aud. player.
t pleasure to read the
a Guinness or an O
it is always comfo
with one’s own problems, to be
that the people who make it look so
superbly casy to act well are the ones
s E take excep-
tion to — "I'm not anything to look at”:
he must be well aware that when occa
sion calls he can look as magnificent
the fact that D:
п elected Miss
Universe has never prevented her trom
persuading an audience that she was the
most beautiful woman in the world
when the role required it. Incidentally
your interviewer was a master in the art
of asking intelligent questions
Cathleen Nesbitt
Hollywood, California
Our thanks to Miss Nesbitt, a veteran
of over 50 years in the theater and 30
years in films.
s
was very теб
tended nor
festival th уз, and from what
Гуе heard from my fellow musicians who
‚ Гуе been spared. As for Monterey
its always а “pila” — meaning pill-
11 ball,
Stuff Smith
Los Angeles, California
which is a sm
Nat Hentoll's article on the jazz festi
vals was a shameless promotion for
Monterey. The Washington Jazz Festi
val, organized by his friend, Gunther
Schuller, was the 1
pensive fiasco in jazz history. Yet he
quotes Schuller as saying, "Running a
real jazz festival isn't that hard. You
pat it on in an atmosphere that people
can respect and in which they can enjoy
themselves at their own pace. Its that
simple.” After reading that garbage, any-
one who suffered Schuller’s conception
of a jazz festival in Washington, as 1
did, will have а long, hard laugh.
1y Johnson
New York, New York
gest and most Cx-
That was а great
festivals. I'm especially gl
realize the
Jazz Festival. Everyth
it is true.
rticle on jazz
1 to sce you
mess of our Monterey
you said about
Ray Bi
Lake Tahoe, Califor
In the heat of current
als, vou are probably get
spondence from mi
kc to harken to your October
The Jazz Festival Grows Up. Up
point, you have dealt with the
al qu fairly and equably. Why
did you now print a quote of Di
Gillespie's that was not only prejudiced
but tinted with black supremacy. Yo
following sentence about his smile almost
racial upheav-
your shar
ny people. 1
of cor
would
article
seemed to condone his sentiments.
Would you please tell me wh ou
you | y y
printed it,
w.
Davi а
Diz, one of jazzdom’s blithest spirits,
is both a hipster and a quipster. You
can't put down Gillespie, Wade, if you
had no quarrel with Dick Gregory in
From the Back of the Bus," which van
in the same issue.
LAURA LAURELS
October Playmate is in all ways
all the Playmates preceding her
except for Marilyn Monroe. That goes
back a long way.
ou
Edw
ar
ville, Hlinois
For the past 33 years (I began when 1
10) I have been looking for wh:
I thought would be the most beaut
in the world. At present 1 still
"t met her, but at least I've seen
her picture — Laura You
L. C. Cobb
Lincoln, Nebraska
MORE MILES
1 was a pleasant а
truthful statements ut
Davis in September. He cer
what is popularly considered
colored boy." By concentrating on his
horn, he has not had time to master the
use of a big white handkerchief in pub-
lic or to develop a hallway decent grin.
Т. Mack, D.D.S.
Charlotte, North Carolina
to read the
gine my profound d
to discover that your interv
Miles Davis, racial authority, rather than
Miles Davis, great jazz musi
A. Weisbrod
Toronto. Ontario
appointment
iles Davis is a
impor-
atit has been
published. in
zine. PLAYBOY is to ре con
aware that discrimi
groes exists in some p
Davis is in danger of be
conscious as to find dis
none exists.
4 so prejudice
ıu where
Joseph Allets
New York, New York
Irresponsible statements such a
made by Miles Da
minders that help us the
Negroes’ proper place. You can't really
believe that interviews with uneducated,
Which holiday greeting
is older...
the first Christmas Card
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ordon’s Gin was an English holi-
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17
PLAYBOY
18
now—in one book,
the very best stories and articles
from PLAYBOY's pages
THE
PERMANENT
PLAYBOY
Over 500 pages, 49 exciting features—
а rich mixture of prize fiction, well salted
satire and challenging articles. Reread such
all-time PLAYBOY favorites as
THE PIOUS PORNOGRAPHERS,
THE HUSTLER, BLACK COUNTRY,
THE FLY and many more
THE PERMANENT PLAYBOY includes such
outstanding writers as Steinbeck, Caldwell,
Algren, Wylie, Schulberg, Purdy,
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35 ppd.
Send check or money order to
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gift or gr.
х jazz note cards
SEND me a Sels or
unique NOTE Cards with
photographs OF mainstreamers
JOHN COLTRANE
MILES DAVIS
LAMBERT HENDRICKS & ROSS
CANNONBALL ADDERLEY
to И filled with n, own hip
sagings OT left blank w set
of 4 cards & envelopes
OE jaz
5111 drexel a
note cards
d chicago 15, Illinois
NAME. — —— 2252.
ADDRESS.
CITY — — — ZONE — STATE.
uncouth Negroes sell magazine
Ed Ranes, H
Marshall, Arkansas
God Bless Ross Barnett and give him
victory over Hefner, Kennedy, the
NAACP and their ultimate objective —
bastardization. Examine your own true
personal motives, Your objective in join-
ing the bastardization movement is vider
circulation for PtAYnov, not for any true
compassion for the Negro. Well, have
fun while you can, because the sword
ol God is about to drop on this county.
Roger J. Sampson
Coral Gables, Florida
Why don't you two guys try. joining
the human race? All it requires is a lit-
tle compassion and understanding. The
world is big enough Jor everybody and
it will be a better world when everybody
has a fair and equal opportunity in it.
HERR MAIL
I want to use this possibility to for-
ward my congratulations as well as my
thankfulness to all your editorial stall
for all die joy and the pleasure which
gives me every month the PrAYnov —
and a special bravo (this one from a
higher point of view — as I am a sociolo-
gist) for the rrax toy as iple for
other editors, specially in the literary
wastes of Germany, how to compile
business with literary style, entertain-
ment with esprit, erotics with elegance
and real taste (and not the pscudotaste
of acidemical eunuchs), etc. Forgive me
my bid English, please.
E. M. Weidling
Munich, West Germany
No apologies necessary, Нет Weid-
ling; you're coming in loud and clear.
n сха
MOSS CODA
Stirling Moss has been, and sull is,
a good friend of mine and, of course, I
am always interested in an article con-
cerning him. | think that Purdy's was
extremely welldon
the article interesting not only to
one who has had some experience in race
cars, but to the average lay reader as well.
ames Kimberly
New York, New York
Thanks to one of America’s most re-
nowned amateur drivers.
1 say this because
I thought Ken Purdy's piece on Stir
Moss was masterful — опе of the best
jobs I've ever seen on the number one
practitioner of any dangerous sport, en-
ing
compassing the emotions and motiva-
tions of all the other dangerous sports.
He said so many new yet timeless things
in it that needed to be written just
that way.
o. California
That sort of praise from bullfighting
aficionado and authority Conrad is
praise indeed.
BULL'S-EYE
Robert Ruark's article The Gentle
man's Hunting Arsenal was not only
interesting but a great change of pace.
Peter J. Astrowsky
Durham, North Carolina
Bob Ruark's The Gentleman's Hunt
ing Arsenal was one of the finest things
we've ever read about the charm a fine
gun holds for a sportsman
Walter S. Haynes
Abercrombie & Fitch
New York, New York
OPINION OF MATTER
As a longtime admirer of Arthur С.
Clarke — the science teacher as well as
the science writer — I feel 1 must record
the never- y pleasure I derive from
his speculative, yet fact-based fights of
scientific fancy — imaginative tours. de
force that provide the perfect back
Фор to the more earthy items contribut
ed by other talents on your formidable
team,
Jack Gordon
1
jand
slip, Middlesex, Eng
Re Mind Beyond Matter: Let it be
said that in years to come mental telep
athists may be able to span space at a
speed faster than that of light and that
the golden era of the Machine Age may
not reach its peak for another 500 years.
Martin P. Dully
Nutley, New Jersey
Arthur Clarke's Mind Beyond Matter
was interesting and surprisingly up-to-
date, considering that he is talking out
of his field. However, his remarks on the
“pleasure center pain center" theory ої
the intracranial sell-stimulation phenom-
enon require comment, The hedonic
theory is not so much an explanation as
it is, simply, a rcified description of what
is happening when an
turn electrical stimulati
оп or olf, Only recently has experimental
evidence been brought to bear on a real
theory of this elea by Prof. J. A.
Deutsch of Stanford. Deutsch’s theory
(described in his book, The Structural
Basis of Behavior) postulates that the
stimulation has two ctfects: The first is
excitation of motivational centers, and
the second is the excitation of neural
pathways signaling that the object of
the motivation has been achieved. It is
as if the stimulation produced, for ex-
ample, the fecling of ravishing hunger,
and simultaneously, the experience of
cating a juicy steak. 1 can
in which all our needs will be simul-
taneously aroused and gratified electron-
ically: “A loaf of гар, а jug of zap!, and
zap!” Like Clarke, I also speculated
once ou the possibility of surgically
nimal acts to
m of its brain
ion an
implanting telemetric devices оп the
optic nerves of humans so that whatever
they saw could be relayed to television
screens. I explained. this to а friend of
and he topped me by saying that
it could be called “Candid Comrade.”
Larry Blumen
Department of Psychology
Stanford. University
Stanford, California
THE SOUND OF DISCORD
September's The Sound of Hirs
true insight from
real nius. This is instant identity
tough to be exposed to. No regret
though. Morc, more.
Kent. Edwards
Troy, New York
Hirsch. Hirsch. Hirsch. Crap. Crap.
Crap.
‘harles M. Worthley
Miami, Florida
PLAYBOY APPLAU.
You've come a long way since your
first issue, but no doubt the best is yer
to come. Your magazine has a special
talent for presenting much-needed points
of view to a public that is evidently
growing tired of the milk toast dished
he Saturday Evening Post
Roy Garrett
La Jolla, California
out by 7
Just can't resist letting you kne
much I enjoy PLAYmoY. It's refreshing
photo-, story- and fashion-wise — even
better than a martini. Well, anyhow, it
lasts longer
E. J. Goldurap, Jr.
Pompano Beach, Florida
I have been reading your magnificent
magazine for some 10 months now and
find it most enjoyable. Friends of minc
who come out and visit me occasionally,
here on the Congo Border, are always
asking to sec the latest copy.
D. А. Tolson
Bancroft, Northern Rhodesia
A Medal Award is being presented to
srAvmov Art Director Art Paul in ap-
preciation of the splendid opportunities
he affords artists and designers, for the
overall excellence of the magazine, and
for its inspirational pros;
Fred Steffen
Artists Guild of Chicago, Inc
Chicago. Illinois
‘essiveness,
1 wonder il the average PLaynoy reader
stops to think of the amount of work
attached to turning out a fine number
like the October issue. Thank you
C. H. Cook
Bakersfield, California
You're welcome.
Sole Distributors: Colonia, Inc., 41 East 42nd St, New York 17, N. Y.
Casanova used it after
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for u man because it refreshes, and yet leaves
no cloying after-scent. It may be used after a
shave, after a shower, after a long day's work.
Frankly, what you use it after is your own affair.
4711...the cologne from Cologne. 4711 for men.
For men on the go. The Crew-saders..
Crew-saders come in twenty distinctly individual colors for
your Casual or dress wear. They are incredibly soft, they
feel wonderful, yet they hold your foot firmly, really stay up.
Crew-saders are knit of hi-bulk Orlon® acrylic and nylon.
Wash them again and again by machine or hand, they never
lose shape. Crew-saders are stretch-knit. One size fits you,
and everyone else. Crew-saders are Interwoven® to their
toes. They are not just ordinary socks. Try a pair. $1.50.
Xnterwoven:
THE GREATEST NAME IN SOCKS
PLAYBOY
AFTER HOURS
s this issue goes on sale, the annual
A cries of outrage concerning the com-
merdialization of Christmas will be at
their height. By the time it goes off
sale, the ululations will have peaked
out—for another year. What better
time to solve the problem, permanently
and painlessly? This is a rhetorical ques-
tion requiring mere assent; we have
the solution and propose to present it,
not as a Christmas gift, herewith,
The arguments against commercializ-
ing Christmas are pure and persuasiv
It is a keystone in the religious ritual
of the Christian faith and as such should
not be exploited by crass commercial-
ism. The arguments for, however, have
a potency all their own, but we doubt
they've ever found a spokesman willing
to stand up and cnunciate them. They
include the pragmatic fact that the rites
of gi nd getting on or just before
December 25th are deeply entrenched in
our societal pattern. But a more com-
pelling case might be made by any se
ous economist. who projected the
consequences if there were some way to
abolish this secular takeover of the
Holy Day. It’s our guess he'd. predict
that the national economy would totter,
if not founder. It is a fact that from
Thanksgiving Day on until Christmas,
a huge segment of our populace suc
cumbs to what has been termed The
Madness of Crowds and goes oi п un-
equaled buying binge, digging into
savings, borrowing, selling stocks and
bonds, so that— with the money thus
obtained — consumer goods may be pur-
chased for others with a reckless good-
will unmatched the rest of the year.
Suppose there were some way to turn
this off. Contemplate the eflect on bank-
ers and bonus spenders, loan sharks
and credit managers, incompetent sales
help and red-nosed bell тїздє
lonneurs and Christmas-tree
gift-certificate printers. and
personnel, G
growers,
postoffice
an Carlo Menotti's royal-
ties for performances of Amahl and the
Night Visitors and the industrious weav-
ers of aluminum wreaths, indignant
editorial writers and the minatory min-
ions of Consumer Reports (with their
dire warnings of unsafe and shoddy
Christmas merchandise), turkey raisers
and pine-cone collectors, and the manu-
acturers of cotton, tinsel, tr
ornaments and lights — to name but a
very few of the people and institutions
which would suffer cruelly. The thought
stagpers the imagination, just as surely
as the fact would stagger our mercantile
complex and the GNP.
How to reconcile these opposing posi-
tions? Our answer, which we promised
above, is simplicity itself: You don't
reconcile them, you divorce them. By
Presidential
coincidence, the religious holiday, Christ-
mas, and the secular gifting time, Xmas,
would fall on the same day. Celebration
of Christmas would be reserved to those
whose spiritual leanings dispose them
to its observance; Xmas — and that jolly
old secular elf, Santa Claus, would be
long to all.
Think of the benefits! The annual
hard sell for Xmas could start, say, on
Halloween, rather than ng until
Thanksgiving Day, as is now customary.
Freed from the frail fetters of good taste,
the grecdiest merchants could plug Xmas
as good. good, соор. GOOD for you, for
the economy, for the scalp, for your loved
ones, for whatever, to their hearts’ con-
tent. The challenge to our merchant
magnates is not even an especially difh-
cult one ve been able to. punch
over Mother's Day and Father's Day; ob-
toys,
ukase and sheer calend
wai
viously
Xmas, since so many of us are already
habituated to this annual miracle of mer-
chandising.
Furthermore, we can spread this busi-
ness boon worldwide, an altruistic task
our Peace Corps is suited— by name
and aim—to undertake, Underdevel-
oped African countries could be intro-
duced to Bwana Santa, whose most potent
juju decrees gift gi on his Day,
called Xm: The Far East might be
persuaded to give a niche among its
other household gods to Santa-San, West
sermany could adopt Santa von Klaus,
while East Germany and other Iron Cur-
tain countries could get in on the act
with Komrade Kringle, legendary enemy
of the Common Market and the inventor
of Xmas, natch; the Near East might
pick a Moslem holiday like the Feast
of Ramadan and have Xamadan fall
the same time of ycar, with Abu Ben
Santa ing over the socially com-
pulsory buying and giving of gifts (What
a shot in the arm that would be for an
bazaar!). Should Israel be expected
to take second place to the Moslem
world? Don't be silly: Xanukkah (pro-
nounce the X as in Xavier) or X-Ha-
shanah (pronounce the X as in Xmas)
e ready-made.
As a matter of fact, once we've taken
Christ out of Xmas (and seen Him again
secured, unsullied, in Christmas) ther
no reason not to launch a brand-new
giltgiving holiday, say around July
Fourth, which might be named X-de-
pendence Day, or Summer Xmas (resort
wear, s ‚ sporting goods). Madi-
son Avenue — take it from there.
From the Lake Charles, Louisiana,
American Press: “Alcoholics Anonymous
will meet at 9 рум. Saturday at 302 S.
21
PLAYBOY
22
perennial reading
pleasure . . .
THIRD PLAYBOY ANNUAL
А curl-up-by-the-fire collection
of the best of PLAYBOY'S early features,
Sparkling stories, impudent satire,
riotous humor from such outstanding
PLAYBOY contributors as Ray
Bradbury, Herbert Gold. Jack Cole
and Shel Silverstein. 160 pages,
‘over 30 in full color. Hard-bound.
54,50 ppd.
Shall we enclose a gift card in your name?
Send check or money order to:
PLAYBOY PROOUCTS
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Playboy Club Keyholders: Please specify
your key number when charging.
CAPTIVATING
MEMENTO
The Playmate Necklace
A sparkling gesture to remind yout
favorite girl that you're the man
in her life. Incrested with
PLAYBOY'S beau Bunny
for a perfect match to her othei
Playmate Jewelry. Black ES.
rhodium; safety clasp.
53 ppd. <
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—
i
Playboy Club keyholders may charge
by enclosing key number with order.
Ryan. This meeting is for members
only, т.м. Saturday for boys and girls
nine to 12 years of age.”
In a recent advertisement in The
New Yorker, a king-sized 76" x 51” bed
was offered for sale by a Manhattan es-
tablishment named, appropriately, The
Workbench.
Having introduced our readers over
the years to such essentials of the good
life as the Nuttin’ Box, the Improved
#7 Bunab and The Ultimate Machine,
we now call your attention to the Spin-
Sulter, a sort of circular slide rule of
three concentric rotating discs that make
it possible to compose original and flow-
ery (though nonprotanc) curses with
ntal eloquence. The outer disc g
ngle pejorat ЗОГС (like "re
ing," for example), the next disc yields
hyphenated compounds (like "maggot-
den") and the inner one consists of
insulting nouns (such as "driveler"). Re-
sult: your choice of 262,144 triple-threat,
automated abusives. With a few whirls,
we саше up with (in addition to Reek-
ing, maggot-ridden driveler): Gluttonous.
cresshawking slackjaw!
twaddler! Simpering, soup-sl
phant! Noisome, lampshade-weari,
п! Cozening, chin-chucking funky!
(We added our own exclamations: so
may you.)
As for the sapient, farseeing inventors
of this swear wheel (There's an idea, fel
lows — how about a compliment gadget?
No. somehow doesn't make it. does it?)
they have such faith in their handy
laborsaving device that they've named
their new, 1 company
“Rich & Famous.” We wish them lots of
deserved, money-proliferating luck.
ambition-rid
m
Bargain-of-the-Month
lately column of The New York Times
“Polynesia: Native Girls, All unused. Get
Acquainted Special for only 51.00 . . . to
Adults Only."
from the phi-
The
women's
news from the
that “breen”
blockbuster
fashion salons
(brown with a greenish cust, or is it
green with a brownish cast?) will be the
color this season should warm the
cockles of every copywriter's h This
freshly minted color contraction opens
up wide new avenues for verbal virtu-
osity— after. breen, why not grown or
me, blurple, blite, blown, or bled,
puc, rue or rite, yack, pack. whack, rack
or b And now, if you'll excuse us,
we feel just a little nilious (that's nau-
seous with a bilious cast).
‘ool-in-Mouth Department: Represent-
Olin E. Teague of Texas, when in-
formed of the Soviets twin-orbital space
flight, announced resonantly in defense
ical elforts, “Our pro
RECORDINGS
1f My Son, the Folk Singer (Warner Bros.)
doesn't give Alan Lomax and John Jacob
Niles apoplex: will. The per
petrator of this hoo-ha hootenanny
mortal blow to all the musical ethniks —
is Allan Sherman, а cherubic full-time
TV producer, sometime singer and all-
time funny lyricist, whose fame
of this red-hot LP, is now na
because
tionwid
Го say that the folk-song tikeoffs
a strong Jewish flavor is to take the
humor out of context. The pungent
punning that runs rampant throughout
is universal in appeal — “Gimme Jack
Cohen and 1 Don't Care,” “Sarah jack
Логу, Glory, Harry Lewis" and
sod Rest You, Jerry Mendlebaum.
And we dig such beautiful refrains as
"The Catskill ladies sing this song — hoo-
ha, hoo-ha/Sittin’ on the front porch
playin’ mah-jongg. all the hoo-ha di
or “Little David Susskind, shut up;
please don't talk. please don't talk /Lit-
Че David Susskind, eat first, then you'll
tall
The latest entries in the bossi-nova
sweepstakes include New Beat Bosse Nove
(Colpix) with Zoot Sims’ tenor fronting
an orchestra charted by Al Cohn and
Manny Albam, and Bosse Nove (Audio
Fidelity), which features the piano
Шанс Argentinc-born. composer-
Lalo Schifrin abetted by Leo
Wrights burning alto and flute, and
rhythm. The mellifluous Sims has some
auspicious aid from superlative
man Jim Hall as they amble uh
through arrangements that specialize in
ensemble flutework. The Schilvi
is much more electric in
and a good de: to authent
nova in concept and execution, The per
cussion section, in particular, is hypnoti-
cally insinu Stan Getz/Big Band Bossa
Nove (Verve) has one of the pilgrim
fathers of that Brazilian beat in this
country shimmeringly showcased by the
artful orchestrations of Gary McFarland.
The young composer-arranger leads а
large-sized contingent with Getz. glitter-
ng tenor in the fore almost continuously.
Other
sion belong 10
and Doc Severinse
m
that
closer
dividual voices heard on occa-
im Hall, Hank Jones
who has a short in
tory solo on Chega de Saudade
brilliantly bell-like.
Sinatra/The Great Years (|
issue recap of some of F
for that company fron
The thice-LP package spl
the middle between those
tol) is а re-
nk's best eflorts
1953 to 1960.
most down
items origi-
nally recorded in stereo and those that
have been rechanneled for stereo. Among
the gems in the pay lode: The Gal that
Got Away, When Your Lover Has Gone
and One for My Baby. Frank Sinatro/All
Alone (Reprise), а collection of ballads
most of which border on the antiqu
is with few exceptions a bad scen
Conductorarranger Gordon Jenkins has
supplied tempi that range [rom slow
to soporific, a handicap the present
Sinatra. vocal cords are
come. The best of the lot are The
Next Door and What'll I Do; the worst —
All Alone and Charmaine. The rest are
merely listless.
Among one segment of ivory-tower
lon rs there are three cherished
articles of faith which, whatever their
erstwhile validity, have no present ар:
plica irst among them is that
record companies keep issuing the
old repertory over and over again.
ond is that thei nothing technically
new or better about stereo record
an uu was four or five years a
the sole motive of the
ies is making а buck. Each
element of truth,
ione now stands up in
Ti
record compa
u
of these notions h;
as we shall see;
the field of c
herewith, via
incidentally, a most Bttin
for the right person.
, record companies do keep com-
ing out with new recordings from a
rather familiar repertory. Two factors
the practice. If your rig is a good
one and your car is not of tin, try p
ing a current classical release and one
ol the same music issued, say, five years
ago. The difference is vast—enough so,
in our estimation, to warrant replace
ment of the old with the new, unless the
ing is technically espe
cially y the recording artist or
interpretation clearly surpasses the
newer version. Fine examples are
the new Artur Rubinstein playing of the
lyrical Chopin Concerto No. 1 (Victor) with
the New Symphony Orchestra of Lon-
Чоп; The Complete Brandenburg Concerti
(Angel) played by the Phill
Orchestra with Oto. Klempe
Clibuin’s dynamically ron
ninoff Concerto No. 2 (Victor), in which he’s
backed by Fritz Reiner and the Chicago
Symphony: and Bach's four Suites for
Orchestra (Capitol) spiritedly played by
Yehudi Menuhin and the Bath Festival
Chamber Orchestra,
In addition to continuous and gradual
ment in recording technique,
= clear-cut breakthroughs. One
such is discs made from 35mm magnetic
film recording; if you want to hear dra-
matic proof of its virtues, wy Berlioz’
Symphonie Fantastique (Comm.
by L‘Orchestre Nation:
Vandernoot. More striking is the new
ples — each,
Christmas gift
MERITO.
EGGNOG
PUNCH
‘Add 8 oz. of dry Merito Rum to a
quart of any ready-mixed eggnog.
Garnish with nutmeg.
MERITO
ауе A |
Merito ў eres
with ice and strain into glass. Also
can be served “on-the-rocks.’
MERRY, WE MEAN
Fill Old-fashioned glass with shaved
ice—add 1/2 or. of Merito Rum—
slice of lemon peel if desired.
Cheers aloft! Hoisting a yule tree
to the top of the mast—
an old Caribbean holiday custom.
enjoy the finest tasting rum from Puerto Rico
Our great reserves of fine, light, dry Puerto Rican rums—
plus the craftsmanship that comes from
generations of fine rum making—give Merito unmatched
delicacy and deliciousness. This holiday, serve
Merito and, quite simply, you'll be serving the best.
NATIONAL DISTILLERS PRODUCTS CO., NEW YORK, 80 PROOF
23
PLAYBOY
24
PLAYBOY's blasé bunny
helps you hold your sı
and adds a touch of joie de
vivre to bookcase, bar or
mantel. He can handle your
favorite bottle, 4/5 of a quart
size. $5 ppd. Send your check
or money order to:
PLAYBOY ACCESSORIES
232 E. Ohio St., Chicago 11, III.
tales of playboys past...
PLAYBOY's
RIBALD CLASSICS
Saucy, sophisticated tales of love, culled from
the kest of the ages and wittily retold for modern
readers. Zesty, laugh-provoking stories spun by
Casanova, Boccaccio, Balzac, de Maupassant
and other masters. Hard-bound.
53 ppd.
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Send check or money order to:
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Playboy Club Keyholders:
Please specify your
key number when charging.
se of the 451pm speed for LPs, as
beautifully exemplified by an album
titled Flute Concertos of Eighteenth Century
Paris (Connoisseur Society). Though the
music (by virtual unknowns) is a bit
rococo and slight for hard breathing
classicists, the recording’s superiority in
sonority, clarity, fidelity and virtually
complete freedom [rom distortior
it abundantly clear that good 43
recording is, at the very least, the equal
of the very best 3314.
As for E
ies are only
casy buck—it is е
of it by a sampl
Шш the record
after the fast and
enough to dispose
g of current. classical
output, Sure, the disc makers are in bu:
ness for more than their health; sure,
they cater to popular taste; but just as
certainly there are among the recording
fraternity men who would have chosen
some other occupation if loot were their
only motive. How many of each of the
following would you guess could be sold
-compared to, say, a standard work
by Beethoven, Brahms or Tchaikovsky?
Hindemith's Concerto for Violin ond Concerto
for Alto (Vox); Albon Berg Svites from Woz-
zeck/tulu (Mercury): Jonisation (Urania),
by Edgar Varese; Josquin Des Prés’ Missa
Hercules Dux Ferrariae (Vanguard); or the
the ch
comp
complete organ music ol Buxtehude (Vox).
All these are excellently performed,
meticulously recorded—and hardly cal-
culated to make anyone rich. (As with
most s » the bulk
of the classical records mentioned here
are also available on 4-track tape, about
which a at deal more will be said in
PLAYDOY'S hifi roundup, in
bruary.)
Lest you think thoughts of Christmas
have rendered us beamishly openhanded
with compliments, beed this caveat re
classicals: Unless Шу want
one particular performance of a work,
make sure you're not buying a newly
packaged reissue from the days before
the best contemporary recording tech
niques were developed. Some of the
"new" 45-rpm LPs, for instance, а
made from old tapes, which the 45s re-
produce faithfully enough, but can't, of
course, improve upon.
annual
you espe
In our October 1961 review of Frank
D'Rone's Try a Little Tenderness, we
wondered why
LP of vocals w
ous at best) of stringy or bi
ing. 105 taken а while, but Frank D'Rone
in Person (Mercury) is just that. Etched
tures Frank's fine pipes with only hi
and rhythm for accompaniment
n a dozen offerings that are pleasurable
from first groove to last.
Pike's Peak (Epic), a prestigious package
by the Dave Pike Quartet (Pike, vibes:
Bill Evans, piano: Herbie Lewis. |
Walter Perkins, drums), is filled with
what jazz critic. Whitney Balliett has
aptly tabbed the "sound of surprise.” In-
ventive and tasteful, Dave is very much
hi and with Bill Eva
finely d 1 configurations as
a catalyst, Pike is indeed at a peak where
the airs are rarefied but relreshing. The
elder vibraphonc, on
tap in Lionel Hompton/Many-Splendored Vibes
(Epic), comes off second best in compari
son to Pike. While Hampton's approach
is pleasant and sure-handed, it is (using
the Ballieu yardstick)
much too Famili its pattern to en-
gender any surprises. Lackluster backi
too, does nothing for this session made
up for the most part of standards that
are, unfortunately, standardized in teat
L At the other c
own n
statesman of. the
definition as
d of the vibes pole
electronie powerhouse currently
on display in Terry Gibbs Quartet/That Swing
Thing! (Verve). Gibbs, recorded v live
at Shelly's Manne-Hole, gives по quarter
in his frenetic, punishing attack on mat
ters musical. Terry speaks loudly and
carvies a pair of big sticks in a two-sided
frontal assault that leaves the listener
wilted and Terry's instrument short-
circuited, we suspect. Even such seem-
ingly bland material as Stella by Starlight
is hypoed into a highly ch: Шай.
The current king of the vibes, on h
with Big Bags/Milt Jackson Orchestra (River-
side), steers an unerring course through
waters charted by Tadd Dam
cron and Ernie Wilkins. The big-band
sound really docs nothing for Jackson
the work is aston
however; ensemble
ishingly uninspired. It is only when
Jackson takes over as soloist (a great deal
of the time, fortunately) that the session
comes alive. Nice and Easy (Jazzland) spot
lights yet another Johnny Lytle
and his quintet. Lytle is of the school
whose New Frontier is a return to old
roots. With Johnny Griffin’
the piano of Bobby Timmons echoing
and amplifying Lytle’s musical senti
ments, the group foals a whole lot ol
soul including a quartet of indigo-rounds
penned by its members.
s tenor and
Bobby Darin, a singer for all ages, has
his posttcen audience much i
mind on Oh! Look or Me Now (Capitol).
The tunes include such antediluvian an-
thems as Roses of Picardy (1916), My
Buddy (1922), AU by Myself (1991). Al-
ways (1 Blue Skies (1927), You Made
Me Love You (1912) and There's a Rain
bow ‘Round My Shoulder (1998). The
Billy May art d Darin's de-
very
ngements a
Ist Day—Leave NEW YORK by ВОАС Jetliner for LONDON. Dinner & Breakfast aloft.
2-4th Day—A rri:
LONDON. Transfer to hotel in fa:
at English estate. Leisure-time shopping, off beat sightseeing. Gala evenings on London-town.
5-7th Day—Jet-prop to ZURICH, Travel by private car to fabulous Burgenstock Alpine play-
ground near LUCERNE. Explore Swiss countryside on Alpine safari. Volkswagens at your
disposal. Notable nights and nightcaps.
8-10th Day—Jet off to ROME. Stay in glamorous hotel on the glittering Via Veneto. Special
PLAYBOY preview of continental fashions. Visit Rome's leading jazz spots. Delight in imposing
wonders of the “Eternal City,” its haute cuisine.
11-13th Day—Jet to NICE. PLAYBOY Renault Dauphines for use while on Riviera. Relax or
revel at Monte Carlo, Cannes, Cap d'Antibes and St. Tropez. Join the “wi
Grand Prix by special arrangement; attend fashionable Cannes Film Festival.
14-16th Day—Jet-streak to PARIS. Dance through
to your heart’s content. Shop if you like, Taste gourmet fare fit for a Louis or Louise, Frolic
at the Folies-Bergére. Farewell fling.
17th Day—Board BOAC Jet for return to NEW YORK.
| ALL-INCLUSIVE
PLAYBOY PARTY PRICE
Just $998.30 based on round-trip Economy
Jet Fare of $620.30, New York-Rome. First-
class hotels in Europe with twin-bedded
rooms and private baths (single room $75
extra). Two meals per day. Special dinners
and cocktail parties. NOTE: Does not in-
clude transportation to and from New York
and hotel accommodations there, passport
fees, airport taxes in Europe, tips for special
Or extra services, items not included in table
d'hóte meals or alcoholic beverages except
at special PLAYBOY parties.
t
The Trip You'll Remember
at a Pocket-Size Price: 8998.30
17 Time-Stopping Days and Nights
Departure May 15
HIGHLIGHTS
AND
HIGHSPOTS
* magnificent reception at merrie
olde English country estate
* private cars at your disposal
* famed Monte Carlo Grand Prix,
a spectacular racing event
the “City of Light" for unfor-
gettable nights
stars, celebrities—glamorous
Cannes Film Festival
Roman revel welcoming you to
incomparable Italia
shionable West End. Afternoon reception
the "City of Light" by
Mail This Reservation Form Now to:
PLAYBOY TOURS * 232 E. Ohio St
Check here:
( ) Lam enclosing my check for $99.83 (10°
forward to receiving all the exciting details
departure. (If reservation is made less than 30
pany this form.)
Note: Full refund will be made 30 days prior
Late Cancellation Service Charge will be made.
* Chicago 11
Playboys & 'mates, make PLAYBOY ou
passport to the pleasures of Europe. ad
the Atlantic in a luxurious. swift ВО,
Rolls Royce Boeing 707 Jetliner . . - stop at
the Continent's high-living hotels - . . savor
the celebrated cuisine of international-set
restaurants. Enjoy glittering nights in boule-
vard bistros and boites, sparkling cham-
pagne cellars. Respond to a masterful шу
time mixture of scintillating sights an
sounds. Set off alone, make plans together
or join the group, as you please. Yor
mopolitan companions, new friends, wi
as fun-loving and pleasure-bent as you-
No arrangement worries. All flight, hotel
and ground plans are handled by your
PLAypov host. Come along on а Eur
escapade you'll never forget. BUT HURI
... SPACE is limited and reservations are
оп a "first in" basis.
SEND IN THE COUPON BELOW
for a pleasure-filled sojourn that ко
moment you hear “WELCO
ABOARD." What to pack? Just your bap-
piest holiday mood!
©»
"n
Hlinois
of Party price) to hold my reservation and look
I understand balance is due 30 days prior t
days from departure, full payment must accom
to departure
At any time after, à nominal $25
(miss)
) 1 would like to "play" now and
pay" later
send details
PLAYBOY
'TUUANA MOODS |
CHARLIE
MINGU:
425. Bossist— composer,
captures mocds ond pes-
sions Of wild border towne
409. Melodious bollods,
riotous comedy, lively
dances from Bway smash
HaRRY
Beraronre ы
341. New colypso album
Bolefonte font hove been
waiting é yeors fod
LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLLI
|соор-тмк Jazz mv
TURK MURPHY aN
ae a SAN FRANCISCO ш? NO
379. Wild Men Blues, Tin
Roo! Blues, Sweet Georgo
Brown, more jazz.
327. Lilting Strouss
wolizes ond overtures in
true Viennese siyle.
Есен
INEAPOLITAN
IMANDOLINS
365. Pulsoting mordolins
play Santo Lucio, О Sola
Mic, Furiculi Funiculay elc,
363 Amusing,
showpiece vorious
огыз. STEREO ONLY.
AMES BROTHERS |
SING FAMOUS HITS
IUARTETS
14, Lov
Splendored Thing,
Quoriet fovoiites,
415, My Fovorite Things;
Mocrglow, Picnic themes,
TH Remember April, more.
HENRY MANCINI
203. More swingers by
Shelley Monne ond а host
of oher стт giants.
214. Also Blue Skies,
Goody Gocdy, The Lady Is
о Tremp, & others.
416. Jost Walkin In the
Roin, Im а Fool fo Core,
I's No Sin, Wild Rose, elc.
staring HARRY RESER
TIR on кл зип ы шмш
AS N Wi ane ina fer
419. 30hits by four bonjos;
tubo, rhythm, Bill Boley,
©» Den Golden Slippers.
a]
ILL WALK
WITH GOD
' Prover, Ava
378. Brubeck ster pl
Lite Someone In Love, Iv
Got YovUnder My Skin, etc,
Du
CONCERTO NET
VAN CLIBURN
conductor
pr
5. The first clasico! LP.
oi all time to sell more
thon one million copies!
кеў To Introduce You to the
514, Tricky, tuneful trek
by composer of Breakfost
of Толуу, Peter Gunn, elc.
board, outo hoi
lonê od infunituml
89. Powerful пойме Afri-
con percvssiorl “Fatcinat-
ing,” soys Variety.
American In Paris
fitoren poston rors
215. Definitive versions of
Gershwin's two most
popular classics.
BONS OF THE PIONEERS ug
L WATER
292. Also Red Fiver Volley,
The ен Round-Up, 18
eatem gens
This 3-record w
Enter each numb:
‘STILL AVAILABLE! THE ORIGINAL EDITION!
50 Glenn Miller Masterpieces
An RCA Victor Exclusive!
Breakfast at Tiffany's
348. Won 2 Academy
‘Awards—for Best Score,
Best Song, (Moon River
951
Origine! performances
by star-studded orches-
tro,
Вепеке, Kay Eberie, The
sody, Blues In the
Alice Blue Gown, All the
Things You Are, Dipsy
Docdle, One Dozen
Roses, My Gol Sol, 1Cried
For Yeu, If 1 Но
Woy, 41 more!
(Regular LP only)
counts as 3 selections,
separatespace on cord.
951A 9518
featuring Tex
Marion
А Fhap-
Night,
ad My
362. Anytime, Oh My
Po
Po, tm Woking Behind
Yeu, Thinking of You.
TARAS THEME
(гот Gove Wit (ha Wine
OTHERS
389. The High ond the
Mighty, Them
mer Pac:
LOVE WALKED IN
e from À Sure
ro, elc.
391. l Love You, Lets Fall
Jn Love, Almost Like Being
in Love, I2 in oll
382. Wilh voices, stings.
Your Las! Goodbye, Hong
On, Unchained Melody.
227. Howalign, Polynesian
hits selected by the author,
296, Also } Don't Hurt Any-
more, Bmore new versions
OF Snow hits,
Ud
"WO Nu
A ELE
=) 401. Trunpet kin
sizzling performances!
Jazz Me Blues, others.
191. Dreamy all-time Fits,
Franklyn MacCormack
recites. йер. LP. only
Carl Weinrich
Bach Organ Ма
395. Thundering Toccolos,
thrilling Prelude ond
Fugues by moster строгіх,
{FRANKIE CARLE |
ACARLE-LOAD
OF HITS
220. Best-selling modern
jazz obum from the TV
adventure series.
364. Piorist plays 25 grect
hits Stardust, Condy, Sol
Rich Spanish Gypsy
moods by the peerless
THE SUBHTLY FABULOUS
LIMELITERS
Sete
ү
344. Stor of film musical
Stole Foir sings Bye Bye
Blues, 12 fovori
347. Hilarious, Intimate,
"în person” concert by
VAUGHN MONROE'S
HITS
mant
Ir
ГТ
suma
69. Also Includes Roting
With the Moon, New
taining origincl version of
hi-l/sterec versions, ft ten
the hit themes
RCA Victor Record Club
860
OF YOUR CHOICE
for
only
TO HELP COVER POSTAGE AND HANDLING
and play 4 more
IRE
REGULAR HI-FI OR STEREO
We, good 107 Fou
THE
^i NORMAN
LUBOFF
390. Side by Side, Pick
423, НІЛ Hilo, Love Me
Tender, Unchoined Melody,
Moon Kiver, more,
Yourself Up, Oh
Beautiful Mornin’,
Here's the BEST of BELAFONTE!
Recorded “in person!"
conceri—a long-
time best-seller
Matilda, Hava
Nogeelo, Danny
Boy, more.
955 ond 955-A.
Triumphant encore
Mokebo, The Bel
оме Folk-Singer
The Click Song, ей
Two-Record set.
Write both num-
bors on cerd.
THE DUKES OF DIXIELAND.
PETE FOUNTAIN, Clarinet
ALC р a OS В,
ALORS ОШ UBER
102. When the Saints
Come Morching In, Tiger
Rog, 10 more classics,
124, Prisoner of Love, Till
the End of Time, Tempt
lion, more “golden hit
COMEDY A ME COURT CU
236. Hilarious patter.
song parodies, recorded
ot "live" how.
37. Also The Mon Г Love,
Cherry, others by pianisf's
relaxed irio,
TCHAIKOVSKY — | Е 1
HE n PORTER WAGONER, Цаа oF
К GILLESPIE
такя m
Tubs нт
| Meus,
420. Waltz cl he Flowers
Dance of the Sugar Plum
Колу, Christmas Tree села,
ZCHAIMOVEX Y.
Romeo k Juliet
roguishly selirical tone
poem in sumptuous sound!
for
10 days
dies, Rakoczy Morc
Ове. IReg. L.
4. Younger Thon Spring-
time, Some Enchanted
Evening, 13 more hits.
392. Modern iozz colcs-
sul Without A Song, You
Do Something To Me, more.
Chorus and Orchestra
‘Wark Fath art atin
Stokownkl
Norman Luboff Choir
394, Includes Deep River,
Jeu Joy of Man's Desiring,
Evening Prayers, others-
GRIEG
PIAND
ORCHESTRA
CONDUCTED BY
279. Youthful Idol sings
duroble sang hits. We
Kiss in a Shodow, more.
WRITE THE NUMBER of the record you
want for only 10c on the attached postage-
free order card. Then fill in the numbers of four
more records you want. They will be sent to you
for 10 days" free home listening, and a Trial
Membership will be reserved for you. You mai
keep the 4 records for only SI (plus a small hand-
ling and shipping charge) if you accept the Trial
Memi ip and agree to buy only five additional
records during the year ahead. Otherwise, return
the four records within 10 days, and your reserva-
tion will be canceled. The record for 10c is yours to
keep in any сазе!
MEMBERSHIP GIVES YOU ALL THESE BENEFITS
1. Right Away you receive 4 brand-new RCA
Victor records for less than you would expect to
pay for onc.
2. You Receive FREE the exciting new monthly
magazine, Reader's Digest Music Guide, filled
vith fascinating stories about music, plus descrip-
tionsof the hundreds of. redto members.
3. You Have “Automat ivileges. You
pay for records only after receiving them and
while you are enjoying them. Prices are always
“Th
424, Hove Mold You Lately
That Love You, Above ond
Beyond, Heaven Help Me.
HANK
СКИХ
373. Ни file вто plus
let Me Be the Ore, Heppy
Birthcoy To Me, eic.
Instrumentals — While
We're Yourg, Esreliio.
7. Magrificent new re-
cording of dromonc TV
score by R Rodgers.
ARTUR
RUBINSTEIN-
Li
CONCERTO Y -y
S
370. Fobinsteln soys,
is the mos! perle
recording | have made,
360, 1946-1950 modem
374. Other great hits by
[azz milestones by combo, The Browrs, Den Gibson,
ig Бопе, (Reg. LP. опу, Skeeter Davis, etc.
[T
"NEW WORLD" SYMPRONY|
ARTURO TOSCANINI
МВС SYMPHONY ORCH.
315. Elecironle stereo re-
processing of one of his
fines! perlormences.
MS. Also Kalomozoo,
Siring of Peorls, Tuxedo
Junction, 6 maro.
ai0 r |
Invent prince rote GRAND
MARIO, а CANYON SUITE
LANZA
GE? m иг WAR DEAR SEHEN
E
colorful
243. The ever-delighiful
Romberg score, beouti-
fully performed.
EDDY
ARNOLD
Grolé, booming,
roaring Beethoven.
Dn ` |
om
HITS: PRADO
MAMBUSS © PATRICIA
CHERRY PINK & APPLE
BLOSSOM WHITE 2 W
AS MAMBO JAMBO
254, Amold sings his all-
ime his ogoin—in new
sound
WORKSHOP |
280. Guitar virtuoso pleys 261. Also Secret Love, Un"
choleed Melody, more by
new voccl sentation.
Lullaby of Birdiond, Mare,
Whispering, 9 others.
TCHAIKOVSKY:
‘OVERTURE
RAVEL: BOLERO
sounn spectacuuan: | Debussy LA MER
‘MORTON COULD bert PORTS OF CALL!
ORCH. AND BANO
Адар чы
226. Connens, gong
гоо, massed strings
bords. Dynomicl
314. Tho glory of
Detussy's "Sea" spleshed
in briliont hi-fi.
shown in the Music Guide (usually $3.98 or $4.98
—Stereo: $1.00 extra) plus handling and postage.
4. You Enjoy "Arm-Chair" Shopping Comfort as
you select only the records you want from the Music
Guide in the comfort of your own home.
5. You Receive 1 FREE DIVIDEND RECORD of your
choice Гог every two records you take afler pur-
chasing only the 5 additional records from the
Club during the coming year. Free records are
exactly the same quality and value as those you
purchase, and you have a wide choice from many
hundreds that will be offered.
SEND NO MONEY NOW
You will be sent the one record you select for 10c
and the four more records you choose to play FREE.
for 10 days—if you act at once, while this Special
Offer remi о Fill in the postage-free card
accompanying this advertisement and mail it fo~-
day. If card has been removed, write directly to:
RCA VICTOR RECORD CLUB
efo Reader's Digest Music, Inc., Pleasantville, N. Y.
тмкз® RADIO CORPORATION OF AMERICA,
PLAYBOY
the playmate in her
give her
PLAYMATE PERFUME
PLAYBOY's very own scent-sation.
$15 the half-ounce. Tax included.
By mail, postpaid. Satisfaction
guaranteed or money refunded,
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in your name?
Send check or money order to:
PLAYBOY PRODUCTS
232 East Ohio St.
Chicago 11, Illinois
Playboy Club keyholders may charge
by enclosing key number with order.
livery, however, are all admirably au
courant.
THEATER
According to its importer, David Mer-
rick, Britisher Anthony Newley's Stop the
World — 1 Wont to Get Of is а “new-style
by himself) star wears several rather rec-
cognizable hats— John Osborne's, Zero
Mostel’s and Marcel Marceau's, to name
you can, Osborne
nd
tead by Marceau.
the greatest ("You
"No, Fm on a
straight salary"), but if Newley were a
Mostel he might carry them off even
more effectively than he does. Instead,
nted white like Marceau, he mimes
way into the mother lode of broad
jokes, but someone has made the panto-
mime too long. Newlcy knows how to rip-
ple his hand (meaning sex) and walk in
place, but that's pretty much the extent
of his repertory. Rippling and walking in
place, Newley plays Littlechap, whose
world is a circus. His favorite girl is Anna
Quayle, who plays, variously, a typically
glish girl, eine typische. Deutsch
п all-Ame
at accents, Newley be-
ginsas an errand boy; his first errand isto
impregnate the boss’ daughter — and so
up the ladder to success, In the end he
is Lord Littlechap of Sludgepool, a char-
nob, winner of the Ignobel Prize for
E nent; Doubletalk. Finally on
top of his world, he suddenly decides to
get off. Newley shows a major talent for
writing popular tunes (What Kind of
Fool Am 1?) and for singing them, but
alas, that’s not quite enough to stop the
World. At the Billy Rose Theater, 208
West 41st St.
With Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 34-
year-old Edward Albee proves he is not
afraid of three acts. In his first assault on
Broadway, the author of Zoo Story and
The American Dream has frightened
all the skeletons out of his closet in
order to dangle them onstage to the
amusement, horror and edification of
his audience. In a conve: nal frame-
work—a beginning, a middle and a
resolution — he has composed a most un-
com nal confessional in which four
drunken characters talk themselves al-
most to death. The hosts for the late-
ight d long are Martha (Uta
Hagen) and her husband George (Arthur
Hill), she the bitchy daughter of a col-
lege president, he a testy professor of
fi
history on the father's campus. Their
guests are clean-cut Nick (George Griz
zard), a young biology instructor, and
well-scrubbed Honey (Melinda Dillon),
his wife. Party games are in order — three
deadly games of humiliate the host,
jump the hostess and get the guests.
First off the pad is hostess Martha, who
flails wildly at her husband, dredging up
all his fears and failures before thei
guests. “If you e “Td
divorce you.” George takes it, and with
a filthy ht back in hi:
wife's face.
fied), but soon he is pitched
by George, and proves himself an able
cgo-nicker. The biologist is a smooth,
polished monster, who was fooled into
marriage because of a false pregnancy —
but has been g the most of Honey's
money ever since. Нау
for Honey. he is soon horsing around
on the kitchen floor with his harridan of
a hostess (needless to say, he is impotent),
while the host reads and Honey sleeps
on the bathroom floor. It's three hours of
furious theater before the final exorcism.
Who's Afraid, faultlessly acted, and bril-
liantly directed by Alan Schneider, makes
for a nightmarish visit with a neurotic
generation. At the Shubert Theater, 225
West 44th St.
MOVIES
In Two for the Seesow Shirley MacLaine
is supposed to be Jewish and Robert
Mitchum is supposed to be witty. The
first of these disguises is the more success-
ful. As dark-haired tel, our Shirley
still looks more clan Ч landsman,
but her warm inflections are infectious,
and only occasionally does the borscht
accent sound like Yankee be: Rigid
Robert is more of a problem because
out of that keeps com-
ing William Gibson's flexible dialog.
With all is ups and downs, though,
Seesaw makes a funny, fecling-filled film.
A few minor characters have been added
to the one-couple Broad hit, but
still essentially a duet for two lonely
voices — the Nebraska lawyer estranged
from his who comes to New York
for a new look at himself, and the mod-
ern dancer, with open heart, blouse and
house, who at 29 has been do
beatnik bit a bit too long. They help,
hurt and heighten each other before he
finally returns to the wife from whom
divorce not separate him. The sex
has а salty savor uncommon in Ameri-
can films, and the charact drawn
with humor and a keen car for the
mid-20th Century blues. Robert Wise,
who directed, has made this a Seesaw
worth seeing.
Darryl Е. Zanuck, the last of Holly-
wood's Big Men, has turned out his
biggest production yet in The Longest Day.
With a script by Cornelius Ryan from
his own best seller (assists by James
Jones and Romain Gary, among others),
D day has Ье brought to the wide
screen in a film that captures the cour-
age, complexity and confusion of the
largest military action in history. Made
‘ious armed
forces), it has touches of standard guts
andglory movies and some "heart"
scenes that turn the stomach, but most of
lifelike — and deathlike. One inva-
js an absolute jaw-gaper: A
German coast-watcher scans the misty
horizon at dawn on June 6, 1944, and
s we watch, hun-
ndreds and hundreds of
lize swiftly out of the mist.
ing of Frencl
French and German (with subtitles) and
entrusting them to foreign directors. The
Cast of Thousands has 42 featured play-
ers, most of them in cameo parts — but
not all are jew Robert Mitchum
makes the beach a little less Normandy
and а little more Malibu; John Wayne
is a cowboy gotten up as a paratrooper
Fal and Paul Anka storm pillbo:
if they were jukeboxes. Still, despite its
molasses moments, The Longest Day has
pace and power. It runs three hours, and
the three hours run.
Remember the cereal box with the
picture of boy holding cereal box with a
picture of boy holding cereal рох... ?
In A Very Private Айай Brigitte Bardot,
sexy film star with harassed private life,
plays sexy film star with harassed private
life, who presumably makes films about
sexy stars with harassed p.l.'s. BB is a
dancer who lives in Geneva and falls for
married Marcello Mastroianni, a theatri-
cal producer. He thinks she is just a
sweet kid. Full of lorn love, BB goes to
Paris where she becomes such a famous
star that the crowds and the Dolce Vita-
type photographers drive her out of
her snub-nosed head. She flees back to
to find that MM is w
less, As a result of this Big Two meeting,
MM and BB become MMBB, and some-
times even BBMM. He goes off to the
Spoleto Festival to do a play. She fol-
lows and fatilistically invites the very
fan fanaticism that is driving her frantic.
The end tries hard to be tragic but
all just one more version of what hell it
is, fellows, to be a star. The only plus in
this minus ellort is Henri Dacae's pastel
nera.
color ca
Amstel is Holland. Amstel is a sun-filled room
and a tiled stove. Have some Amstel Beer to-
night. There’s contentment — there's the good
life that the Dutch live-in every hearty draught
AMSTEL OF AMSTERDAM:
— by Appointment to H. R.H., the Prince of the Netherlands.
Amstel American Corporation, New York 1, New York
PLAYBOY ACCESSORIES
ployboy's familiar rabbit in bright
rhodium on gleaming block enamel,
attractively packaged in felt bag.
earrings $4.50 bracelet $3 ће set $7
cuff links $4,50 tie tack $2.50 the set $6.50
PLAYBOY PRODUCTS dept. 259
232 east ohio street, chicago 11, illinois
HOW TO
MAKE
$135
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1 1
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| Please send my FREE 1963 Heathkit |
| Catalog. 1
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| avoress П
| сту. I
ae
PLAYBOY
32
the timeless sounds of jazz
THE PLAYBOY JAZZ
ALL-STARS ALBUM,
VOLUME 2
Available again, brought back by popular de-
mand, two 12" LPs featuring winners of the
1958 Playboy Jazz Poll. Ten pages of notes,
biographies, discographies. Over an hour and à
half of the finest jazz by the world’s greatest
artists. Includes: Sinatra, Armstrong, Elle
Fitzgerald, JJ. and Kai, Brubeck, Garner,
Gillespie, Shelley Manne, Shorty Rogers and
many тоге. A definite collector's item for
every record library. Available in monaural Eu
(1Р5) $9 ppd.
Shall we enclose a gift card in your name?
Send check or money order to;
PLAYBOY JAZZ
232 East Ohio Street, Chicago 11, Illinois
Playboy Club keyholders may charge by en-
closing key number with order.
THE
PLAYMATE
PIN
Winning pin
for your favorite playmate.
A miniature PLAYBOY rabbit
she'll want to wear with everything,
in black enamel on rhodium,
Buy her two for the
popular scatter-pin effect. ..
for twice as much appreciation.
Safely clasp. $2 ppd.
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a gift card in your name?
Send check or money order to:
PLAYBOY PRODUCTS
232 East Ohio St. • Chicago 11, Illinois
Playboy Club Keyholders may
charge to their Key numbers.
Jane Fonda is the reason for seeing
Period of Adjustment, Tennessee Williams"
caramel comedy. It has to do with a
justmaried pair who spend the day
alter the wedding night at the home
ol a friend of the husband. t nights
e rarely what they are cracked up to
be, and this one cracks up but good.
The friend they stay with, married for
five years, also has had a life of hits and
Mrs. It's one of those symmetrical come-
dies that is obviously going to be tied
up in a nice neat bow, but the string
ol yoks keeps it moving at a frisky pace.
Far-from-pi e is the blushing bride
who can't stop beating around the blush.
‘This rangy girl has now shown a range
ol talent that makes her the most charm-
› disarming actress to hit the Ameri-
screen since the advent of Audrey
Hepburn.
ACTS AND
ENTERTAINMENTS
Judging by the number of soft drink
setups at the Gate of Horn's ringside,
the Chad Mitchell Trio must have attracted
every rep-ticd prep schooler and date
within 50 miles of Chicago. The 7-Up.
ently likes its liberalism in
urcoated, banjo-backdropped, close-
harmonicd doses. There were two high
points to the evening (a very enjoyable
, by the way). First and foremost was
he trio's eagerly awaited run-through of
ecord hit The John Birch Society in
which, among other things, Westbrook
Pegler is held suspect because he “doth
protest too much,” and whose targets are
Rosie Clooney, Pinky Lee, Red Skelton
nd Mommy (If she's “a Commie, then
you've got to turn her in"). The second
showstopper was new — a Teutonic take-
off on The Twelve Days of Christmas
that covered such miscellany as three
emites, four top Gestapo leaders,
six guided missiles, $7,000,000, and other
assorted items near and d to an em-
bittered Nazi at Xmas time. The trio,
Пу accompanied by just a guitarist,
had the benefit of an instrumental trio
behind them —a banjo, guitar and bass
operating in close rhythmic rapport — as
they displayed their diverse wares. There
were seve omping spiri
in-check items includ
zie Borden ("You can't chop your poppa
up in Massachusetts; us is a
far сту from New York"), tender ballads
such as Walking on the Green Grass and.
Golden Vanity, and a dram: contrast-
x of the о: al Irish When Johnny
Comes Marching Home, sung as а dirge,
and the uptempo American Civil War
ion. Mitchell and confreres Mike
Kobluk and Joc Frazier are straight-
ng one about Liz-
Massachu:
forward, robust and nontwangy in their
delivery — a formula that several of the
less successful but artier groups might
attempt.
Barbra Streisand, caught recently at New
York's Blue Angel, is one of those petite.
young (20) creatures whose voice, style
and general d or belie their ap.
pearance. She di:
set of vocal cords and a tightly controlled
delivery that ranged. from. meckly child.
like to wantonly worldly. Arriving almost
breathless from her smash performance
as Miss Mannelstein in J Can Get It for
You Wholesale, Barbra
up lighthearted housek
way-out, upbeatnik
Fantasticks that be;
in an ice cold s
to swim
"апа after
in the house was ri >
Barbra, who first won fame as а come-
е, can be legitimately acclaimed as
r of note; her Сту Me a River
that, She could be plaintive (on
the oddly fashioned } Hate Music, but
1 Like to Sing) or hilarious as she told
why she was in love with Harold Monget
("Not because he has a саг... Ari
Fleisher h:
in a row. а
Streisand deftly turned the Blue Angel
into a Barbra-shop. Catch her soon and
you'll have а cocktail-party ploy of be
able to say you knew her when.
BOOKS
In The Pyramid Climbers (McGraw-Hill.
$5), Vance Packard, nemesis of waste
makers, status seekers and hidden per-
dei takes on Ameri
class. His new book, w
sorrow than in anger, might be subtitled
Success Sphinx. Vance advances the
thesis that the men who run our la
corporations “are the most manipulated
and exploited steady jobholders in the
nd." Callow personnel "experts" strip
are the executive psyche; bosses dissect
the executive wife; consultants exacer-
bate the executive ulcer. The pyramid
nber must keep his emoti
his imagination in limbo
s executive
which modern executives
nclination d less time.
ing to Packard, is sex: “The exec
utive may be immersed in the contents
of his briefcase all evening. When he
becomes aware that it is
stamps out his last cigarette, restulls his
briefcase and goes up to a new area of
concentration, his wife. But by then she
porate bigotry, only about three percent
of the population has a chance of ever
making it to the highest peaks of the
rarchy. То be considered managerial
material, you must be (1) a male, (2) а
college graduate, (3) “a WASP” — White-
Anglo-Saxon-Protestant. Nor does it hurt
if you've a six-footer and modishly slim
Packard, who participated in PLaynoy’s
Panel on corporation ethics (November
2), deplores this sort of discrimina-
tion; but considering the life he says
executives endure, it may be a. blessing
to short, [at non-WASPs that pyramids
have so little room at the top.
It is easy enough to put James T. Far-
rell down, along with his work. Make
your deference to Studs Lonigan ("pow-
erful book but more easily admired than
point out that it was written 30
э: and ask, "What has he done
for us lately?" His new book, The Silence
of History (Doubleday, $4.95), will not
change the conventional judgment. Ed-
die Ryan, Chicago Irish, poor, intellec-
tually ambitious, differs very little from
arrell's old quasi-autobiographical hero,
Danny O'Neill. He has cried
the valucs ol
and Eddie,
sell's A Free Man's Worship, has decided
to live with “unyielding desp Ве
yond the last horizon, he knows, is the
“clockless eternity of entropy,” but to
accept that fate and to go forward is
victory enough, victory with only “the
honor of the soul of man." There are
а good many people, some of them tech-
nically beter writers than Farrell, who
grec with his views but refrain from
proclaiming them because they are redo-
lent of the cracker-barrel atheist. What's
new? one wants to ask. Whether it's slow
entropy or the quick big bomb, what's
new? Well, Eddie Ryan likes a sunny
moming and the looks of the legs and
breasts of the girls at the University of
Chicago. He yearns for beauty and love
with a dogged sadness that makes even
beauty and love seem not worth the
«он. Farrell confronts the drudgery
and dirt of experience, of daily life
lived monotonously, with a stubbornness
that has to be admired. It may not be
art, but it is the stuff of art, even great
art, What thwarts his efforts to пыте
this material is an absence of any vision
of the good life either for the vidual
or for society. Still, even those who are
impatient with his clumsiness cannot
deny that for three decades he has been
tying to say more than most other
writers: if he continues to fail, we may
still be grateful that. James T. Farrell,
unlike history, has not been silent.
No!" to
if you're going to be
toppled by a trend
you may as
well be the
one who
started it!
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33
PLAYBOY
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Another way is to steal a look at the
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SUA (number) :
Ever since legal judgments in favor of
Lady Chatterley's Lover and Tropic of
Cancer turned bluenoses an apoplectic
pink, it has been only a matter of time
before William Burroughs woukl burrow
his way into the bookstores of Main
Street, U.S.A. Former drug addict Bur-
roughs was hooked for a decadent decade
and a half on every sort of jolt imagi-
nable — and junk is his subject. Now,
after years underground, his magnum
opus, Neked Lunch (Grove, S6), has finally
bcen brought out of hiding to a chorus
of praise: Norman Mailer declares Bur-
roughs is "the only American novelist
living today who may be conceivably
possessed of genius.” And Jack Kerouac
ls him “the greatest satirical writer
since Jonathan Swift.” Well, Burroughs
is an intelligent, witty, serious writer,
and one does not have to be the best
since Swift to deserve a hearing. But
readers who take dust jacket blurbs seri-
ously are in for considerable disappoint-
ment. Naked Lunch is not a novel at all,
but rather, in Burroughs’ own words, a
jon of “notes on sickness and
Fine—if these notes had
some semblance of direction or overall
meaning. Instead, we get a stew of dis-
connected vignettes, fantasies and hallu.
cinations, with no sequence in time, no
relationship in space. It's like lunching
on the day's leftovers. Possibly for the
junkic this is the way things really arc —
but a desire to portray chaos is no excuse
for writing chaotically. Like Henry Mil-
ler, Burroughs muses incessantly on sex.
Words like “ectoplasm, ” “glob,”
"fluid," “ejaculation,” "pollution" slither
across ally every page. But where
sex in Miller — amusing, lusty or absurd
wally involves people, in Naked
Lunch the sexisodes never touch ground.
Unquestionably, Burroughs has a lot to
say. Unfortunately, he says it most clearly
in а straightforward essay appended to
his book and reprinted from The British
Journal of Addiction.
lime,
—u
Comedian Dick Gregory's From the Back
of the Bus (Dutton, 51.95). a portion of
which first appeared in our October 1962
issue, is now gracing the bookstalls with
a full quota of wryly razor-cdged edicts
on the tensions, trauma and taboos of
race relations. One Dicktum on racial
hypocrisy, we think, sets the Iaughing-to
cep-homcrying mood of the book, to
ome people have a wonderful way
of looking at things. Like the ones who
so they can go
to a Ku Klux Klan meeting
duction is by rrAvnov Editor-Publisher
Hugh M. Hefner and photos of the
gremlinish Gregory are by staff photog-
rapher Jerry Yulsman (in blackand-
white, of course).
" The intro-
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR
[| am falling in love with a girl who has
a very bad reputation. She is "known"
not only among my friends but, as I have
recently discovered, by most everyone in
town. Even though I have found that the
rumors about her are, unfortunately,
true, my feelings toward her are still the
same. But I'm afraid that when and if I
marry her, I will be laughed at by my
friends and maybe even єп the cold
shoulder by business associates. What
do 1 do? Ignore everyone else and con-
tinue to court her, or give her up as a
lost cause? — T. A., Tampa, Florida.
If in the first flush of romantic love
public opinion looms larger in your
thoughts than private happiness, youre
clearly headed toward a post-honeymoon
future of increasing mental malaise.
You'd best break off now, sparing your-
self —and her
ing rcappraisals.
your inevitable agoniz
living enjoyed stays at hotels using
both the American plan and the Euro-
pean plan during a recent Florida vaca-
tion, I'm curious to learn just how and
when the distinction between the two sys-
tems started. — P. R., Anchorage, Alaska.
The Amcrican plan (by which guests
pay for lodgings plus meals at an in-
clusive, regular rate) came into bein
during pre-Revolulionary days when
travelers stopping at inns and taverns
took potluck at their landlord's family
table. The French-originated European
plan (separate checks for bed and non-
mandatory board) began to appear in
the U.S. around 1830, and gradually be-
came the more popular system. Today,
only а few American hotels — usually of
the resort variety —offer the American
plan exclusively; many, however, give
guests an option on cither plan. Abroad,
the European plan is [ат more prevalent
(frequently modified by the inclusion of
breakfast in the room rate).
WW ies your opinion of clccuic tooth-
brushes? Don't you feel there's something
basically decadent about mechanizing
such a simple chore?—C. B. Granite
City, Illinois.
Not at all. Any gadget that accom-
plishes a chore with case and speed gets
оит vote, Dentisis say these bathroom
appliances will scrub one’s molars far
more efficiently and thoroughly than will
the manual method. Belter yet, you get
equivalent benefit in a fraction of the
time required for thorough manual
brushing. In our book, decay is decadent
—not the means to combat it.
A. couple of years ago а reader asked
you if he was right in flatly refusing to
take his girl's roommate along on a date;
you said he acted impulsively and should
have taken both of them on the town —
once. Recently I was confronted with a
comparable situation — but the denouc-
ment was far different. Twice in one
month the girl I date regularly has sur-
prised me by having a lone and lonely
girlfriend as her visitor when I fell up to
her pad to take her out for the evening.
On both occasions, the girls just sat
there, having drink for drink with me,
until common politeness forced mc to
ask the other girl to join us. First time I
was annoyed, but concealed it and said
nothing. Sccond time, 1 took my girl
aside after the first drink and asked if
she expected me to have her girlfriend
tag along. She said it would be the de-
cent thing to do, and I wasn’t going to
stand there arguing, so I was stuck aj
Next day, I called my girl and told he
I'd felt imposed upon. She accused me
of being unfriendly and chintzy. I got
sore and hung up on her. Following day
I figured she'd been defensive and I'd
responded harshly; I called her, we made
up, and made a dinner date. You know
what happened: I got to her place and
there this friend of hers I was in-
troduced to, name of Sally, let's say. Same
old story — but this time with a different
ending. What happened was, I got so
sore I told my girl to stay home, grabbed
Sally out of the place, took her to a
swell dinner, pitched like mad, and
scored. Now my girl won't speak to me.
What to do? — J. P., Detroit, Michigan.
First, we think you did the right thing
under the circumstances, and we're glad
to hear that it turned out so well that
evening. Life is for living and you
probably had a better time that evening
than if you spent it in the way you
had planned with your regular girl.
Be wary of Sally, however—she spells
trouble, Any female who hangs around a
friend's apartment when she most cer
tainly knows that the friend is getting
ready for a date, and who then per-
mits herself to be dragged away alone in
place of the girlfriend with whom you had
а date —and, а swell-dinner-and-being-
pitched-like-mad notwithstanding, goes
to bed with the regular boyjriend of her
girlfriend. under these unusual. circum-
siances — spells trouble. There is а pat-
tern to her actions that strongly suggests
Sally is really quite hostile, though per-
haps subconsciously, toward your regular
girl. Throughout the evening, both in
the apartment and after you had taken
her out (the willingness to go with you
as a substitute date is especially reveal-
ing), Sally was actively competing with
your regular girl. The reason your girl-
friend won't speak to you may not be
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PLAYBOY
36
just because you walked out on her that
evening — it is quite possible that, con-
sistent with the hostility displayed in her
actions the night before, Sally went back
to your girlfriend the next day with a
full account of everything that the two
of you did together. And if she didn't
tell her the whole truth she probably
made up а half-true version that came
out even worse than what actually oc-
curred. The best response to all this is to
point oul the obvious significance of
Sally's action to your regular girl and
you will then be able to successfully
deny that anything happened on your
night out with Sally (which your girl
will want to belicve), because anything
whatever that Sally may have said can
be brushed aside as a lie prompted
by the same competitive hostility. This
will permit your girl to satisfactorily (in
her mind) shift the blame for the evening
from you to Sally, which is whal she will
doubtless do, after which you should have
no problem. You may wish to point out
along the way that you realize walking
out on her with someone else was rude,
but it was equally rude for her to have
a friend sitting there in the apariment
ai a lime when she was expecting you for
а date — especially when you had already
made your feelings about this sort of
thing known to her. You can point out,
with real validity, that under the circum-
stances the presence of Sally in the apart-
ment when you arrived for your date was
like waving a ved shirt in front of a bull.
One thi "
count on privacy whenever you've ar-
ranged for a date with your giri.
rom now on you can
Bye heard à great many conflicting opin-
ng absinthe, and would like
to le just what is truth and what is
fiction. For example, for what i
it outlawed in the U.S, and France? Can
you shed any other light on this mys
terious beverage? — J. R., Huntington,
West Virginia.
The truth about absinthe is as am-
biguous and elusive as the appearance
of the drink itself: When properly mixed
with waler, ice and sugar, И turns suc-
cessive shades of emerald, pink and gold
before becoming milky and opalescent.
Among the accusations that its mythical
properties have aroused are the claims
that (a) it causes insanity, (b) it sexual
stimulant, and (e) it lowers the birthrate
by preventing or aborting pregnancy. In
spite of a dearth of scientific evidence
10 support such beliefs, public health
authorities in Switzerland, France, the
U.S. and other countries have outlawed
the liquor, generally on the grounds that
itis made with wormwood, an aromatic
herb that is reputed to be harmful if
consumed in excess. The fact that worm-
wood tea used to be sipped by old ladies
and young children as а remedy for
ions conce
minor debilities has nol dissuaded the
lawmen from their opposition to it. Un-
doubtedly more formidable than the
wormwood oil is absinthe’s staggering
alcoholic content: It is 136 proof (or
68 percent alcohol). U seems likely that
absinthe's sinister and exaggerated repu-
tation stems directly from this alcoholic
potency. If you're curious as to ils flavor,
you might lake note that an aperitif
quite similar to absinthe in its pro-
nounced anise taste is sold under the
label of Pernod Fils, the original French
producers of absinthe.
This is tess a question than а request
tion you may not wish to
A lot of your Advisor questions
k for personal advice. Now, based on
the time between stories in your
mag; and letters to the Editor about
th І conclude that your deadlines
m: it impossible to answer Advisor
questions. promptly, so what good are
your answers to guys in. personal quan
daries that need. immediate solutions? —
Г.О., Phoenix, Arizon:
By the time you see this in print you'll
know, since you will have received by
mail a personal letter in response to
your query. The same thing happens
with all questions addressed to The
Playboy Advisor: They receive a prompt
postal reply, and then afterward, if the
question is of sufficient interest, it is con-
sidered Jor publication.
МУ... reading your On the Town in
New York piece [November 1962], 1 was
reminded again of a question that has
always puzded me: Why is New York
sometimes referred to as Gotham? — F. F.,
Lexington, tucky.
The original Gotham is a village in
Nottinghamshire, England, which used
to be widely noted in legend and prov-
erb for the conceit of its inhabitants.
Washington Irving first applied the name
lo New York in 1807 in one of the
Salmagundi Papers in an effort to satirize
the vanity of his fellow tounsmen. There-
after, the stuck-up sobriquet stuck.
A tienda of mine has can dn Ausin-
Healey Sprite in а couple of races and
the experience has made him unpleasant
to ride with: he goes too fast, brakes
violently, double-clutches and shifts
all the time. He tells me that a
dumb dame cannot be expected to know
th right way to drive. Right?
— D. L., Tacoma, Washington.
Wrong. wrAYBOY's Ken Purdy, who
has ridden with the likes of Phil Hill
and Stirling Moss, tells us that profes
sionals tend to drive а! moderate speeds,
with notable concentration, both hands
on the wheel and above all very
smoothly. No ordinary passenger or
+ +. only if you act now. This is the
last time you can send the best of
holiday greetings tothe men on your
list; twelve months of:
* top fiction by the world's best
writers * choice tips on travel, mod-
ern в, entertainment, attire,
food and drink * sophisticated car-
toons and humor PLUS dazzling,
full-color photos of the famous
Playmate of the Month.
And speaking of Playmates, one of
the loveliest will arrive via the
PLAYBoY Christmas card to announce
your gift. Soon after comes the hand-
some PLAYBOY January Holiday Issue
starting a full year of the best in
masculine entertainment.
This is your last chance to take ad-
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PLAYBOY
38
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sports car today requires double-clutch-
ing on gear-shifts, except, їп a few cases,
for first gear, a gcar rarely needed while
the car is in motion.
WI, executive position in a large ad-
vertising agency requires that I attend
many conferences and dient me
in distant cities: I take my wife
on some of these, but certainly not all.
When I return from the solo jaunts, she
goes through my wallet and my laundry
with a magnifying glass, poking about
and asking me to account for every scc-
ond of my time away from home. Last
time I returned, she found a trace of lip-
stick on one of my handkerchiefs, which
I quietly explained was the result of an
innocent buss on the check by the wife
of one of my clients, the two of whom
had taken me to dinner. My wife
screamed bloody murder, called me a
cheat and winged me with a Wedgwood
out of the
little
urn; I, in turn, stormed
house—and there's been peace
since. Tell me — short of tal y wife
along on every business junket, which
would be both a fi al burden and
a social bore — what is the solution for
d man who must travel and
lous wife on return? — P.
New York, New York.
Га Rochefoucauld observed,
“Jealousy feeds upon suspicion, and it
turns into fury or it ends as soon as we
pass from suspicion to certaine
in your wife's case certainty clearly
in fury, you should see to it that she
never finds the slightest cause for alarum
in your excursions. The best way to
achieve this end is also the simplest one:
don't cheat. Obviously such guilt-edged
accidents as the wayward buss that caused
your curent malaise won't happen
often; lacking nourishment, her suspi-
cions should eventually die. Until that
happy demise, you should treat her prob-
ings with as much patience and under-
standing as you can muster; after all,
а woman's jealousy defies rational argu-
ment, and your peace of mind would
probably be in а far worse state if
she patently didn’t give a damn what
you did. If, on the other hand, you do
occasionally graze in greener pastures,
and irrefutable spoor of same is found
by your spouse, the blame and the clam-
orous consequences thereof are yours.
once
All reasonable questions — from fash-
ion, food and drink, hi-fi and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette
—will be personally answered if the
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 232 E. Ohio
Street, Chicago 11, Illinois. The most
provocative, pertinent queries will be
presented on these pages cach month.
PLAYBOY’S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK
BY PATRICK CHASE
ONE OF
п BRIGHTER IDEAS of March is
into a month of sun days spent
far from habitual haunts— there's no
better time to shake off late-winter dol-
drums. While selecting your vacation site,
we suggest you pay particular heed to the
blues-banishing dimate and palm-fringed
benefits of the Hawaiian Islands, whose
scenic beauty is abetted by cherry blos-
soms during March, Here the outer
Neighbor Islands are becoming increas-
ingly as more and more knowledge-
able journeymen bypass honky-tonk
Honolulu in favor of less publicized,
more pleasurable watering spots.
Our favorite is the bountiful island of
Kauai, A 20-minute spin from Lihue Air-
port will bring you to the spanking new
Waiohai Hotel, where a memorably soft
existence may be led in and out of the
resorts bungalows that are scattered in
tropi ardens from the sea and salt-
water swimming pool at one end of white
Poipu Beach to the freshwater pool ad-
jacent to the tennis court and first-rate
dining ledge. Those who prefer accom-
modating themselves in a livelier big-
resort atmosphere should sign in at the
Isle Hotel, а 250-room hostelry
"s Wailua golf course. The
Garde
set beside Капа
hotel houses its guests in a series of mod-
ern, garden-located buildings with mag-
ent vistas over ocean, mountain and
lagoon, and is equipped with an impres-
sive array of facilities that includes shops,
gymnasium, steam baths, night club and
cocktail lanai. While Kauai is widely rec-
ognized as a superlative launching site for
deep-sea fishing excursions, not many
sportsmen realize that the island is also
an extremely happy hunting ground.
Fine bases for upland shoots may be
found near Waimea Canyon.
On most of the islands you can hire a
jeep for extemporancous back-road cx-
cursions; on Maui, for example, for
around $6 a day plus a dime a mile your
rented roadster will spin you up to the
rim of Haleakala Crater or along a spec-
tacular diff-hanger of a road containing
some 900-odd curves in one 20-milc
stretch, or on an c: int through the
lush ao Valley and along the coast to
the old whaling port of Lahaina. All-day
jeep caravan tours around and about
Oahu (at $16 per vehicle) hit scenic
highlights such as Koko Head Crater and
the Pali cliffs of the Koolau Range, and.
include change-of-p:ice stop-olls for swim-
ming and fishing at beaches of promise
like Kaupo and Kalama. At any time,
you're free to peel off оп your own
detour — perhaps for a glass-bottomed—
boat ride out of Heeia — thence to rejoin
the guided caravan,
The island Eden most accessible to
near Easterners is, of course, Bermuda,
status assembly-point of spring's college-
week celebrators. Among the early rights
of spring here are convivial colonial night
life and the watery pleasures of the Ber-
muda day; for enjoyment of same you
can rent a houseboat (a typical one sleeps
four and goes for about 5125 a week), or
stay at one of the hotels that
ig for $150 per person. Water sportsmen
should take note of two unusual aqu:
opportunities: For $9 an hour you cin
rent novel power skis (a double-pontoon
affair powered by an outboard motor and
steered by the simple process of leaning
to one side or the other) and tool in and
out of coves and past the water taxis and
ferries of the Great Sound at speeds up
to 25 mph; the island also offers two
schools in advanced waterskiing that give
expert counsel in the protected waters of
Mangrove Bay or recf-locked Ely's Har-
bour on such tricky aboveboard mancu-
vers as single slalom, backward skiing and
jumping. For $10 a lesson, exp: ed
skiers can get the hang of those huge
kites that, under the boats pull, waft
one several hundred feet above the water
stunt every bit as difficult looks.
March is the classic cruise season, and
for those with the wherewithal the where
might well be South America. To com-
plement the salt-tanged days of swim-
ing, sunning, dining and dancing
aboard your floating resort, you'll debark
in countries of abounding interest still
underexploited touristically. Typi
the unsung high-style way stations that
dot the cast coast is an old ranch called
Pinera Azul, 45 minutes out of Buenos
Aires. Visitors are driven to the Spanish
Colonial ranch house in time for cock-
tails before lunch. While you sip your
patio potation in the cooling shade of
grapevines, native dancers and singers
make heady cocktail music with guitars,
charangos, ukuleles, bongo drums
queñas flutes. The pampas p:
continues with a lunch of empanadas
(small meat pies) pit-roasted asado of
beef, salads and Argentine wines. In the
afternoon, you can dip in the pool, stroll
through gardened grounds beneath tow-
ering pines, eucalyptus and morera trees,
the venerable home ivelf. ‘The
ing, like many in S.A., is unabashedly
antic, and cause enough for any man
to hcad south of the border for a well-
carned spree of carefree carousing.
For further information on any of the
above, write to Playboy Reader Sero-
ice, 232 E. Ohio St, Chicago 11, Ш. ËJ
nd
FOR YOUR
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THE PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY
part two: playboy's editor-publisher spells out—for friends and critics alike—our guiding
PLAYBOY HAS BECOME an increasingly
popular topic of conversation over the
last year or two, and comment on our
success has often included discussion
ad debate on our doctrine and our edi
torial point of view—in the popula
press and various journals of opinion,
as well as around the office water cooler,
at fraternity bull sessions, at cock
parties, club gatherings and wherever
clse urban men and women exchange
ideas. Ha card so many others ex
-AYnOv is all about, we'v
plain wha
feel
PLAYROY represents in presentday so
ciety, permitting ourself а few perso
ides on socicty itself along the way.
Last month we offered some opening
Observations on PLAYBOY'S critics and
pointed out that negative comment on
vi ly takes two very
different. forms: There
ticize PLAYBOY for its conten! — cei
tain specific features of which they do
prove; while others object to the
ion's concept — ће overall edi-
viewpoint expressed in the m
ich month.
critics Of content are the ca
swer. Few would quarrel with the
overall excellence of the magazine's fic-
tion and articles (a list of writers like
the ones contributing to this issue speaks
for itself) and rrAvmov has received
more honors, awards and certificates of
merit for its art, photography, printing
d design, during the last hal-dozen
rs. than almost any other magazine
in America. The criticism of content
soon seen to be largely a matter of
and primarily pictorial sex, at that. For
some few, a photograph of the female
figure — no matter how attractively
posed — is embarrassing, objectionable
а:
acu
are some who
and even downright sinful In fact, one
sometimes gets the feeling that the
more attractively posed — and therefore
appealing — the female is, the more ob-
jectionable and sinful she becomes to
the critical. In order to ct in this
way. of course, one must believe that
sex itself is objectionable and sinful —
especially as typified by a beautiful
principles and editorial credo
editorial By Hugh M. Hefner
n. Fortunately only а twisted. few
ble to fully accept such а neg:
iew of God's handiwork, but the witch-
burning Puritanism, which associated the
Devil with all things of the flesh, and
which formed a part of our early re-
ligious heritage in America, has left its
mark on many morc. And so the prude,
the prig, the censor and the Dluenose
have a ready band of followers wil
to bowdlerize che world’s greatest liter-
ature; destroy the too-sugsestive art and
sculpture; clip, cut and mutilate the
cinema; determine — not just for them-
selves, but for their neighbors as well —
what can and cannot be shown on televi-
sion, what m nd newspapers
can and cannot print, what plays the
ter can and cannot present; burning,
ing, defacing, purging,
n the пате of Him who w
Creator of all these things in the be;
. And if they could find some means
jer by which they might burn
from the memory of man every sensual
g of the flesh, every
iven pleasure of the body, we have
no doubt that some would seize the
opportunity with much veal and joy.
This, we suggest, is man at his most
masochistic — man at his self-destructive
ultimate. For here man tries to destroy
not simply the body, but the very mind
of all humankind. If a person can look
at the picture of a beautiful woman and
find ugliness there, and obscenity, then
only be that he s that w
ness and obscenity within himself. If
beauty is in the cye of the beholder, so
is its opposite.
THE CRITICISM OF CONCEPT
purifying,
the
or ma
The critics of PLAYBov's editorial con-
cept are not so easily answered. Sex plays
a part in their attitudes, too, of course,
but it is a more sophisticated and сот-
plex criticism, as when Harvey Cox, in
wi Playboy's Doctrine of Male for
the “Christian Journal of Opinion
Christianity and Crisis, describes PrAv-
boy as "basically antisexual" And the
mitgazine’s attitude toward the male-
female relationship i
PLAYBOY'S overemphasis on the super-
ficial and material things of life.
According to John A.
of a Unitarian Church in Santa Barba
California, who devoted an entire se
mon to "Philosophy and Phantasy
Playboy Magaz id What This Su;
gesis About Us": Pravmov presents “
new image of the ideal man. . . . [He] is,
above all, a skilled consumer ol the
bountiful flow of goods and services pro-
duced by our economy of abundance. He
is a man of discriminating taste, style
and polish. He knows how to spend
money with flair. He is a skilled and so-
phisticated lover, who knows how to
avoid anything resembling a p
attachment with his paramours.
“Not only does рълувоу create a new
image of the ideal man, it also creates a
slick little universe all its own . . - It is
a universe for rather elegant and refined
consumers, and girls are the grandest of
all consumer goods. A girl is something,
like a sports car or a bottle of Scotch or
gue suit, that is meant to be
ijoyed by men. But
with flair, with polish. There ne
no entangling, no stifling
playthings, and
once enjoyed will have to be set aside
and replaced with others new and Iresh."
On the same note, Harvey Сох de-
scribes women as а "Playboy accessory.”
"After all," he writes, "the most famous
feature of the magazine is its monthly
foldout photo of a playmate. She is the
symbol par excellence of recreational sex.
When playtime is over, the. playmate's
function ceases, so she must be made to
understand the rules of the game. As the
crew-cut youn 1 in а PLAYBOY С
toon says to the rumpled and disarrayed
girl he is passionately embracing, ‘Why
speak of love at a time like this?’ ”
And suggesting just how far apart the
critics of PLAYBOY'S content and concept
may sometimes be, Cox continues: "Moi
istic criticisms of rLaysoy fail because
its antimoralism is one of the few places
in which PLavuoy is right... . Thus any
theological critique of PLAYBoy that
ne, minister
manent
4l
PLAYBOY
42
focuses on its ‘lewdness’ will € com-
pletely. ravnoy and its less successful
imitator “sex n nes’ at all.
Th tisexual. They di-
lute and dissipate authentic sexuality by
reducing it to an accessory, by keeping it
at a safe distance.” Cox concludes with:
Lavnoy the latest and
kest episode in ma nuing re-
fusal to be fully huma
What is PLAYBOY'S
critics of its concept? Л
to be some truth in what they say, even
if we do not agree with their conclusions.
How is it possible to both agree a
agree with these critics — accept
answer to these
here would seem
interpre!
lies in their incomplete unde:
what PLaynoy really represents
lieves in. Another part of the
clearly rooted in a fw
ence of opinion about life, and the world
in which we live, that we would like to
explore at some length. But the best way
to begin, we think, is through an ex-
planation of just how pLayuoy was
initially conceived and why we feel it has
enjoyed such success in a time when
many other, older, well-established maga-
zines have floundered and failed. And
in fully understanding the pLaywoy phe-
nomeno! may also gain greater in-
ight into this en tion and how
vrown out of the social and eco-
nomic revolution that has taken place i
America over the last 60 years.
THE UNCOMMON MAN
Within th
century, the
undergone a
escore years of this
ican personality has
and dramatic a
the country isell. The first
us of the 20th Century were
racterized by our unbounded faith in
ourselves, both individually and as a
nation. We were enjoying the results of
the industrial revolution, and if the
streets were not literally paved with
gold, it was only a technicatity. It was a
пе of confidence and enthusiasm: it
s zy, romantic, wonderful time,
when most men believed they could lift
themselves by their own bootstraps, even
if they didn't yet own a pair of boots.
Boys hungrily consumed the books of
Horatio Alger (he wrote 119, or, as
one critic put it, “one book, rewritten
that sold an almost unbeliev-
ble 250,000,000 copies) like
ink or Swim, Strive and Succeed, Do or
Fame and Fortune. They told a
youngster that success, yes, and fame and
too, could be his— no matter
how humble his beginning — if he was
industrious, honest and had faith in him-
sell, his God and his county Noth
was impossible. Any boy could grow up to
be President of the U.S., or of US. Steel.
The United States was the golden
land of opportunity and freedom — for
its own people and for the rest of the
world as well Americas promise was
spelled out in the words inscribed on
the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty:
© me your tired, you
huddled masses ye
poor,
ning to
You
breathe free
The wretched refuse of your
teeming shore,
Send these, the homeless, tempest-
tossed, to n
I lift my lamp be:
door.
ide the golden
These were the years of the Uncom-
mon Man — when uncommon ambition
and deeds were the rule rather than the
exception. These were the years of the
great national heroes, both fictional and
Belore World War 1, every young
man's idol was Frank Merriwell, whose
exploits in Frank Merriwell at Yale,
Frank Mertiwell’s Dilemma and The
Winning Last Quarter-Mile proved the
importance of pluck, perseverance, honor
and playing the game according to the
rules. Merri the ultimate in the
Uncommon Man — he was, as his creator
Burt L. Standish modestly informed us in
adventure after adventure. the greatest
student and
known, The so-called Golden of
Sports was act less that than a
period in which important sports figures
(and, indeed, anyone who excelled at al-
most anything) were acclaimed nation
heroes. It was a time when an entire
country could get as cockeyed. excited as
young ma
irpl
"s climbi
ne and flying across
a kid ove
le-motor
the Atlantic alor
The era reached its apex in the decade
now fondly remembered as the Roaring
Twenties. After the Great War, a new
sophistication and cynicism spread across
the Тапа, but the Twenties were
deal more than Sheiks and Shebas, bath-
tub gin and the Charleston. B was a
yeasty time, a time of innovation and
adventu when new notions and ideas
were accepted almost as quickly as they
were born—a period ol important
growth in science and the arts. It ended
with the stock market crash late in 1929.
THE COMMON MAN
good
The 10 years of bleak Depression that
followed the Roaring Twenties me as
a brutal and sustained shock to the na-
tional psyche. Some saw im it a terrible
retribution for the years before — а sort
of protracted hangover from an eco-
nomic binge. It was nothing of the sort,
of course, but the generation wh
to maturity during the Берге
fered just the same.
During the 1930s, worse thin
hunger afflicted us. It is difficult — n
most impossible — to hold onto one's
optimism, individuality and spirit of ad-
venture, when you cannot earn enough
to support your family. Intellectual
achievement and education lose much of
ge and appeal when a diploma
offers no assurance of а job after gradu
nd when the great majority
iot allord а higher education in any
isc. Nor is pt to teel particularly
compe а society that offers him
almost no opportunity to compete.
ma
ive iı
In place of individual initiative, an
emphasis on accomplishment and cduca
tional attainment, a faith in self and in
Our economic system, а curiosity about
id dillerent. Ате as became
у concerned with security, the
safe and the sure, the cert: ıd the
known.
Instead of helping the people to sort
out thei ul ideals during this
time of u y and confusion, a
great many newspapers, magazines ана
movies actually pandered to the publics
already growing prejudices. If it was
especially difficult to get ahead. during
the Depression, then the popular press
was perfectly willing to persuade people
that what they already һай was plenty
good enough. After all, why make а man
quest after things he could probably
never achieve? If his aspirations were
much beyond his hopes of fulfilling dh
he would only become frustrated and
nes,
adio, too, set about making
Am ished with their lot, com-
placent about the status quo. Some
ıe that if you curbed the na-
tion's initiative, it could cause incalcu-
lable damage, but that was an abstract
I idea and the problems ol
the time were the only reality.
This satisfied, complacent, relatively
free social order was achieved
in several ways: First, the mass media
made the wealthy appear to be as sh
low, ut, foolish and ui i
possible. Admittedly, m
self unatu
doing, but the press апа fil did a
damned impressive job of the next best
thing. The Sunday n zine section of
the Hearst papers of the Thirties had a
fi ne convincing us that most al
of society (the socially prominent) and
neially well to do were either
scoundrels or scandalous empty-headed
nincompoops, or both.
depicted in the mass
almost always accumulated their
money (“ill-goucn gaius"? in some
derhanded or slightly suspect w
else it was inherited. And in cither ca
сй and unearned.
t very much interest i
hii stories of self-made men,
who'd prospered, like the heroes of Alger
d Standish at the start of the Century,
through the application of pluck, perse
verance and houest hard work. A catchy
label is always helpful in more clearly
the new
incrca:
idcas
cert
nora
Ith
ng we
active would really take some
old tii
un-
Record Collectors all over America sent these albums to the top of the list—by buying over $1,000,000 worth of each!
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А4 | CAPITOL RECORD CLUB
|| "Tho Record Chub of the Star چ tere ibe
Dept. 5364, Scranton 5, Pennsylvania Me Chi, wake
Rush me the FIVE hit albums I have listed by number іп the |, cach month you
boxes below. Bill me only 97¢ plus a small shipping charge. | receive the Capitol
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which describes new
ТЕ te YOUG: Е selections.
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division 1 wish. Ribums to be offered
C POPULAR BEST SELLERS Г] GREAT CLASSICS [7] EXCITING JAZZ | you during the next
NO RISK-SEND NO MONEY! If not delighted with my albums, I | 32 months. you need
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with your meno membership. The | s Depending on te
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4. After ME buy
these six, you
ADDRESS choose а 12" FREE
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iar er DANG 421, HAY THOMPSON. AN
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PLAYBOY
establishing a desired identity for any
ıd the press came up with a fine
rhe Idle Rich.
In the films, the rich girl-poor boy ro-
mance, or vice versa, was extremely
r all through the Thi
mendously class conscious ir
this supposedly classless country. And
bly the wealthy half of the pair,
md his or her family, turned out to be
the less thoughtful, practical, considerate
and nice. Poverty, you see, brings out the
best in a. person.
Rich young men were pl
foppish, foolish, weakling types
Robert Montgomery, while the
heroes were portrayed by mo
fceton-he4round fellows like Gary
Cooper, Clark Gable, Spencer Tracy,
Jimmy Stew y Fonda. ‘Tracy
won his first Academy Award of the
Thirties for straightening out a rich
s spoiled youngster (Freddie Barthol-
ew) im Captains Cour Gable
ther
like
poor
solid,
ed Бут
got
mans ЖОШ daug
bert) in t Happened. One Night. Gary
Cooper fought the good fight for the lit
ist the forces of evil wealth
nd power, in Mr. Deeds Goes to Town
(by inheriting a few million himsell and
throw the Haves absolute
ns for spreading the wealth
number of the Have-Nots,
up in a sanity hearing for
Meet John Doe
mp off the top of a
Mr. Moneybags,
played by BECOME tao
much him). Having apparently
learned nothing from Coop's chilling ex-
was а subzero December
ıt when he climbed out on that roof
to jump), Jimmy Stewart took on the
same all-powerful adversary in Mr. Smith
Goes to Washington (in both pictures
dirty Arnold was trying to use his mi
lions to buy his way into the White
House, but in this one he even had his
own SSlike motorcycle police corps).
А typical example of a romantic movie
made dur (amd there
arc dozens upon dozeus to choose from)
was something called Holiday, st
Cary Grant, пе Hepburn
Idare Lew Ayres. Cary played
а handsome, unassuming, high-princi-
pled, philosophical pauper, who fell
love with a n ntered, cold-
asit
who. Lew Ayres роти:
foppish, foolish, weakling brother, who
might have turned out as well a
we soon realized, if only he hadn't been
born rich, As it is, he's ап alcoholic.
What else?
The wealthy father was a domineering
maniac, who kept his children under
his thumb, or tried to. (Edward Arnold
as apparently busy elsewhere when they
d
a
M
22
to an
around to
and windin
his trouble) and again
lor
made this onc, because the tyrann
man was ably played by someone els
whose name we also don't recall.) Katy
played a second d.
unexplained m
escape the evil taint of Daddy's moola.
The conflict in the film develops over
Idy’s insistence that he will consent
to the marriage only if Cary agrees to
come to work for him as a vice-president
in one of his corporations. Miss Rich-
bitch sides with Daddy, of course, but
realizes that if he consents, he will
surcly be corrupted and destroyed, no
doubt winding up like wealthy, foppish,
foolish, weakling Lew Ayres, or worse.
care for a cocktail
racle,
And he doesn't eve
before dinner.
At this point, it could be legi
gued that this movie is less concerned
with a conflict between the virtues of
acquiring or not acquiring money than
with the more basic question of whether
man should give up his individuality,
idependence and integrity in exchange
for a solt, secure and purposeless life.
Obviously, the only thing for Cary to do
is to tell the old man to shove it, which
is exactly what he does. But here's the
rub — and this is what makes this
ticular picture an especi
example of the philosophical content of
Depression-day film fare. Why did Cary
wrn down the old man’s offer? (And it
should be mentioned, he thought long,
id hard before finally deciding to turn
it down at picture's end.) Exactly what
was Cary weighing this executive. posi-
tion in Daddy's fum against? Did he have
а plan for going into business for hi
self? Did he prefer to work his way up in
another company of his own choo
Did he have the driving urge to become
a doctor — to heal, to save lives, to get an
M.D. movie series of his own going before
Lew Ayres sobered up and latched onto
the Dr. Kildare gimmick at Depression’s
end? Maybe he w
or skyscrapers? Or would he heed the
call of politics and help Junior Senator
Jimmy Stewart take care of power-mad
гага Arnold? Forget it. Cary had
worked just long enough to save up
enough money to buy а small boat. He
was in his middle 20s and he figured
that work could wait fo 2 years.
He planned on bumming around the
world in his boat for the next dozen
annums. Honest. That's i
actly where he was I
Пу interesting
anted to build bridges
end. Naturally, Katherine Hepburn
knew a good thing when she saw it, so
when her sister bowed out, she tagged
ht along after Cary — leaving the pur-
poscless life with the wealthy [amily for
а purposeless life with а boat bum. No
doubt she made the best decision under
the c bum or not,
Cary Grant is still Cary Grant), but one
can't help wondering why the makers
cumstances (boat
of this movie, like many of their breth-
ren during the Depression, felt obliged
to preach a philosophy that said, in
essence, the best thing in life is sitting
оп your ass. Actually, we don't wonder
at all. Since а major part of the country
wits forced to do little more than sit oi
ts ass through much of the Depression
it was just good box office to give them
ies that said that loafing and doing
nothing with your lile really desir
able. Why, look. C
by choice — he's pas
lion dollars and mai
bitch, who thc
up sever
age to Miss Rich-
couple of scenes — and all so he
could loaf. The public liked that sort of
soothing syrup, and so the movi
it to them, and so did the m.
the newspapers and radio.
A majority of the movies made during
the Thirties were musicals, comedies
other forms of escape entertainment.
exploiting the publics desire to avoid
the realities of the times. And when
r ally
depressingly No point in
pout this world
istic film was made, it was usi
dow
beat.
Initiative, ambition and the accumu
lation of wealth were not the only vir-
tues made light of or actually ridiculed
during the Depression. Education, intel-
lectual achievement, science and the arts
took their knocks, as well. By Depre
sion's end, the press had even come up
with a suitably negative label for exces-
sive intellectualism and academic accom-
plishment: “Egghead.” In place of Picasso,
we were given Norman Rockwell and in
place of literature, the Reader's Digest.
No general truth is without its excep-
tions and no time is without its virtues.
The Thirties did witness the positive
emergence of greater concern for one's
fellow man and the immense strides
made in the labor movement, but even
these worthwhile accomplishments had
their negative aspects, further
de-emphasized the individual in favor of
the group. And concern lor the collective
many is not always the same as conce
for each and every separate member of
society taken as a single person, with his
dividual hopes and dreams, desires and
m
for they
п the welfare of
me subtly +
ol
man bec:
imo an ide
To be an average
e of the g
to be. "My.
the
formed
average man.
part of the ¢
Game a pretty
Average Man” was someone with whom
everyone could identify and who
wouldn't be proud to be considered
AV an”? But just a gener
tion no Americam worth the
me would have settled for the notion
"anything, His aspi
ave
before,
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rations were a good deal higher than that.
For there is something far better than be-
ing just average and if most of us aren't
ing for that something better, then
the very average itself will drop lower
and lower, along with our aspirations.
During the Depression, concern for
the Common Man turned into a deifica-
tion of the Common N
mon ideas and common
needed an education? V
sense what really counted? There was no
room in the Thirties for the uncommon
, the uncommon accomplishment, the
uncommon mind or the Uncommon Man.
n, and of com-
taste.
Who
FALLEN IDOLS
There were very few great heroes in
the Thirties, where there had been many
in the Twenties and before, (The single
notable exception was F.D.R., who ex-
isted less as a hero during this time of
trouble than as a truly national Father
Figure.) And the temper of the times may
be most clearly appreciated when we con-
sider that during the Depression, and
thereafter, we not only failed to recog-
nize and acclaim the Uncommon Men
amongst us, we set about tearing down
some of the Uncommon Men we'd most
acdaimed а decade earlier.
Charles Lindbergh was the greatest
gle hero of the Twenties. He had
gained an even greater hold on. Ameri-
Сау heart in the early 1930s through
the tragic loss of a child in а world-
famous kidnap-murder. But when he re-
turned from a visit to Germany late in
the decade and expressed the unpopular
view that we should avoid a war with
that nation, because her armed might
would prove too much for us, his ideas
were not considered the honest, if in-
accurate, opinions of a sincere and p:
otic American, they were damned as
being little short of treason. The Lind-
bergh Beacon, atop the Palmolive Build-
ing in Chicago, was promptly renamed
and the “Lone Eagle” was really alone
from that time on. The public never
forgave him. But was it a single unpop-
ular opinion they were unwilling to for-
or the fact that he'd been an
give,
ncommon hero to them in the first
place?
Charles Chaplin is unquestionably the
greatest comedian the world has ever
known. He was beloved all through the
Twenties, not only in America, but
everywhere. He made some of his most
delightful feature-length films in the
‘Thirties, but the U.S. began to cool
toward the little tramp. They didn't
ike Chaplin's politics. Born and raised
in London's slums, he'd always been а
bit leftof-center politically, but he was
certainly no active Communist, as some
suggested. The public didn't care much
for his personal life either. The U.S.
Sovernment actually brought criminal
charges against him for violating the
Mann Act, because he transported a
. with whom he was having an
from one state into another—a
that, in these days of more
easily accessible and less expensive trans
portation, probably over half the adult
male population of this country has
committed. And despite the fact that the
Mann Act was passed to cover white
slavery, as clearly stated in the law, and
the “immoral purposes" referred to
therein, in connection with transporting
females over state boundaries, is prosti-
tution, Chaplin was acquitted.
The spurned female, who had helped
the Government with that case, then filed
a paternity suit against Chaplin, claim-
ing him the father of her illegitimate
child. He lost that case, despite the fact
that blood tests proved conclusively tl
the child could not possibly be hi:
Neither the public nor the press ever for-
gave Chaplin for these breaches in good
conduct. Yet Errol Flynn, who was in-
volved in matemity and rape suits at
about the same time, was secretly ad-
mired by most and generally considered
to be а lovable scalawag. Charles Beau-
mont, in his article, Chaplin, published
in rravpoy (March 1960), commented on
this paradox: “Flynn, ev
consorting with girls young enough to be
his granddaughters, could do no wrong,
Chaplin could do no right.” And Beau-
mont also suggested a possible reason for
this double standard: “Perhaps because
he [Flynn] did not add to these [his
affairs] the affront of genius.”
One of the greatest actors of our time,
and as much responsible for the carly
worldwide popularity of movies as any
other human being, Charles Chaplin was
never given an Academy Award. His last
two pictures to be released in the United
Sunes (Monsieur Verdoux and Lime-
light) were generally panned here and
did poorly at the box office, although
they both won praise and prizes in
Europe. Badgercd by public, press and
the U.S. Government (the then Attorne
General of the United States, James P.
McGranery, called him an “unsavory
character” and ordered Immigration au-
thorities to hold a. hearing to determine
whether or not Chaplin was an unde-
sirable alien), he was English and had
never taken out citizenship. papers, an
“affront” for which America would
never forgive him, €haplin finally chose
exile in Switzerland in 1945.
We feared that the memory of Charlie's
genius was fading, for almost nothing
complimentary had been written about
him in any large-circulation magazine
in the previous half-dozen years, so we
asked Charles Beaumont to write an
article on Charlie, the talent, as dis-
tinguished from Chaplin, the man. Be
mont's article began; "High on the list
of America’s pet hates is a man who, over
a 30-year period, gave this nation —
and every other nation throughout the
world—a gift valuable beyond р
and beyond estimation, the most des
ble and most dificult to receive:
imperishable gift of joy.
Beaumont continued: "An anti-Chap-
lin campaign was begun, calculated by its
emphases and omissions to present a
ngle image of Chaplin, so hateful an
image that some Europe:
cluded tha s a classic
guilty conscience . . .
“Not content to destroy the man, the
columnists proceeded to attack the man's
work. Learned students of the cinema,
such as Hedda Hopper, began to have
second thoughts about the “so-called
Chaplin masterpieces.” Were they really
so great? Were they really as funny as
they were cracked up to be? . . .
"Only a few months ago, а logorrhcic
Hollywood TV personality was asked
why he persisted in slamming Chaplin.
"I'll tell you, said the personality. ‘I've
got nothing against the guy personally.
What he does is his own business. I'm
just sick of hearing all this stuff about
great comic he was. You see one
of his pictures recently? They're pathetic.
Stupid. What's funny about a little
schmo who looks like Hitler and acts like
a queer? I'll tell you a great comic. Joey
Frisco. There's a great comi
"So now even Charlie— as distinct
from Chaplin — is under attack. It would
be comforting to think the Little Fellow
isn't in danger, that nothing so mag
nificent could possibly perish, but other
magnificent things have perished, and at
the hands of men. Why not Charlie too?
Film doesn't last forever, and memory
fades. And though we speak of a wonder
that held the world enchanted for three
generations, the wonder has demon-
strably begun to dim. The young in
America today do not know Chaplin
all, except as the monster the press has
built, and that is sad. Unless they Ip
in the few great cities of the nation [in
which some few Chaplin films still are
shown], they don't know Charlie, either.
And that is t - For the artist and
his art, separable as they may and must
be, are of vital importance to the cu
tural and moral development of Ame
ica. If we allow ourselves to forget what
we had, then we shall never understand
what we lost, and that will make us poor
deed.
‘1 have a notion that he suffers from
a nostalgia of the slums.’ So wrote Somer-
set Maugham of his friend Charles Spe
cer Chaplin, touching upon one of the
great secrets of Chaplin’s art. From the
ning it has been a celebration and
а mockery of the earth's poor. Celebra
tion because while we breathe, cven ii
the danke: ir of the lowest slum, we
live, and life is sacred; mockery because,
in Chaplin's words, “The poor deserve
to be mocked! What fools they arel’
the
twa
47
PLAYBOY
What holy fools, he should have added,
for that must be the final description of
is masterpiece, Charlie.
. Dispensing love, he received love
in return; and his fame grew, like a vast
silvery balloon.
“That this must have its effect upon a
man is, or should be, self-evident. Chap-
lin the man had always been withdrawn.
The sudden overwhelming popularity
used him to withdraw further. People
did not understand. They did not under
gh Charlie, and that
ing put into Charlie all that was wild
id fine and sweet in him, there was
little left over.
"But people have a way of resenting
great artists. A man may travel to the
searing center of his soul and come out
with and the world will ask
him why he h aged his shirt.
“This is what the world — our Amer
ican world — began to ask Chaplin. Over
а 20 period, woi 20 hours а
day, he was making the finest films any
one had ever seen, distilling his genius
iew visioi
to its greatest perfection. .. . And peo-
ple hed, but they did not forgiv
For while Chaplin was dishing up these
delights, he was living a life described by
columnists as 'unnormal."
“To ask an artist to please everyone
with his life t is both
stupid and unfair. Even if all the charges
leveled against Chaplin were true, Amer-
ica’s attitude would be difficult to under-
stand. As the charges are almost entirely
false, the attitude is inexplicable.”
Beaumont concluded: “It is for these
reasons, for his occasional we
а person and for hi:
an artist, that Charles Chapli
one of the most despised men in /
ica. Now, in Vevey, Switzerland, he lives
quietly with his wife a ven children
-one of whom this remarkable ma
sired only recently, despite the fact that
he is in his 70s. Because he is in his 70s,
Chaplin will, before long, die. And then
because his legend has been all but de
stroyed, he will probably be forgotten, as
most men arc.
“But what Chaplin cr
not allow to be forgotten: Gharlie the
fool. Charlie the clown. Cha
spirit of Man, walking with a go:
skip in his oversize shocs and a hitch of
his baggy pants— bewildered, but u
[raid — into the unknown. Charlie, the
best of us"
A bit later, near the end of this edi.
tor to dist a number of
specifics in which PLaynoy believes. You
пау put one down now, ahead of time:
We believe wholeheartedly in the Un-
5 well as hi
nesses as
ed we must
common Man n his right to be
uncommon. There is perhaps no single
belief that is more nt to us, It i;
in mi a differences,
's Godgiv more
than his similarities, that we find the
very best of him. And our America was
founded on the unique understanding
that through man’s differences, and the
fullest protection of their free expression,
we might create the most perfect society
yet conceived.
PLAYBOY has never done much direct
cditorializing — this present piece is a
rare exception — but regular readers have
to know the things we believe
through the subjects we choose to write
about and what we choose to say about
them. One of the things we believe in
is the Uncommon Man,
ine has included articles on
mon Men from its cart
lin, Frank Lloyd Wright, Hemingway,
Charlie Parker, Stirlii Moss. We've
commented upon their uncommon n
tures and expounded their uncommon
come
ind the m
Uncom-
st issues — Chap-
ver been big on quotations
or precepts, but we have two that we
took for ourself in our early
they've formed a pair of guiding princi-
ples by which we've tried to shape our
fe.
"Thi:
self be truc,
The first
own
bove all, to thine
nd thou canst not
ny man."
A man’s reach should ex-
‚ else what's a heaven for.”
Our article on Chaplin produced more
warm compliments and comment. from
readers than any other personality profile
we have ever published: George Jessel
wired, “THE PIECE ABOUT CHARLIE CHA
LIN WRITTEN BY CHARLES BEAUMONT I5 THE
MOST SENSITIVE AND TOLERANT PORTRATT
OF A MAN THAT 1 HAVE EVER READ, WITH
Tur POSSIBLE EXCEPTION DERTRANI
RUSSELL ON TOM PAYNE." Hollis Alpert
wrote, 7. .. a wise, balanced and warm
description of the artist and hi
too, before his 1
(ler completely from his
gnorant detractors. Со
ms on PLAYBOY'S judgment and
publishing the article." Paul
DeWitt, ". . . Am essay worthy of the
hest praise. An eloquent tribute to
опе of the most misunderstood men of
our time.” Dore Schary, “The Chap!
article w by Charles Beaumoni
good piece; a warm and sympathetic re
counting of a tr: les B. Yulisl
"The "protective"
films will no doubt continue
Philistiv ning of his
truly sorry for those who participate in
such. 1 am more sorry, howe for the
millions who will never share the exper
ence of crying during the ending of City
Lights, or roaring at Chaplin's comic
mastery in Limelight.” Herman G. Wein
berg, "Bravo! I refer to that Chaplin
piece by Beaumont. It needed to be said
and Im glad it was rLAYBov who said it.”
These letters appeared in our July
1900 letters column. We had also
o
About time
reputation
courage ў
hed an article on the Acad.
April
cently pul
my Awards (The Oscar Syndrome
1960) by Dalton Trumbo, a man unusu
ly well-qualified to write on the subject
since he is one of Hollywood's finest
screenwriters and had only recently wou
n Oscar himself, pseudonymously, lor
scripting The Brave One as "Robert
Rich,” because he had been blacklisted
in Hollywood and could not write there
using his own name. His artide w
personal, provocative and stimulating of
thought. We published it before he suc
ceeded in breaking through the blacklist
so his thous all the more
hts wer
vitriolic and searing. A few months later,
own name appeared on a screen
credit, lor the first time in 12 years—
first on Spartacus and then Exodus. We
1 also made the serious error of in-
Larry Adler to perform on our
television show, Playboy's Penthouse
Our only excuse, and we must admit it's
Adler is the
virtuoso on the harmon the man re-
sponsible for getting the mouth organ
accepted as a musical instrument instead
of a toy, and we felt our viewers would
find him entertaining. We had по idea
that Adler, too, was оп somebody's litte
black list, but he And we think it
only fair to add that if we had known
he was on somebody's little black list, it
wouldn't have mattered a bit.
Nevertheless, the profile on Chaplin.
the article by Trumbo and the TV ap-
pearance of Adler were enough to
prompt a few letters of quite a different
sort, and we published those, too, in
July 1960: A. C. Cohn wrote, "Chaplin
in your m on your
ш; а stink iu
the nostrils of the American peopl
T. F. Hanson asked. “What's the matter
with PLAYBOY? 15 it beginning to follow
the Communist party line?" And R. E
Chasen wrote, "Please cancel my sub-
scription at once. First, the hearts
and-flowers for Chaplin, then Dalton
Trumbo. As ent. it becomes
impossible to cont
All this sound and fury (the ratio r;
nearly 30 to 1 in favor of the Chap
and Trumbo articles) gave us one of our
are opportunities to spell out (iu an
er in the letters column) а portion
avnoy’s philosophy: “pLaynoy sim
cerely believes that this nation is big
enough, strong enough and right enough
to give free expression to the
the talents of every man
without fear of being hurt by any man’s
individual weaknesses or follies. We be-
lieve, too, that no good idea, no impor-
tant work of art and no meaningful talent
becomes less good, less important оз less
meaningful because it comes from a
doubtful source, You don't have to be a
homosexual to read Oscar Wilde or an
alcoholic and a drug addict to appreciate
the prose and poetry of Edgar Allan Poc.
a slim one, was because
ideas and
among us
It is also possible to recognize the comic
genius of Chaplin, read an article on the
Academy Awards by Dalton Trumbo and
enjoy the music of Larry Adler without
necessarily approving of either the men
or their personal philosophies of life. For
the record, of course, none of these men
has ever been proven a Communist — a
malter of some importance in this coun-
Iy that prides itself on fair play and
believing a man innocent until. proven
guilty. But that’s really beside the point
— for we also appreciate Picasso as one
of the world’s greatest living artists, and
a Communist. Politics may
be important in government, where na-
tional security is a vital consideration,
but it has no place in art and literature.
Not if America’s art and literature, and
we know he
indeed the country itself, are to remain
fluence establishing and re-establishing
these basic concepts of freedom upon
which our nation is built. If PLAYBOY
In't spoken up in behalf of Chaplin
п 1960, no one else would ha
rate, no one else did — no оће
iazine — either before or after. Ch
lin wasn't а very popular cause. But it's
important to voice opinions on unpopu-
lar causes, too, when there is something
that deserves to be said.
k in the 19305, there was a ce
hue and cry for social reform and some
of it was good and some of it wasn't, but
almost no attention was given to the
most important single item in a free
ciety — the significance of the individ-
ual and his right to be different.
n
THE INVISIBLE MAN
Whether the country would have re-
covered from the psychic depression as
readily as it did from the economic de-
ion will never be known: the Sec-
па World War us alf decade
demanding a high degree of rigid con-
lormity. So Americans gave up willingly
what individuality they had left, and
gladly, in order to exert a total and uni-
fied effort in the defeat of the enemy. In
followed the firing of the
nd shell, a quiet searching out
of the things that we had won (and lost)
in the war might have been expected,
but instead the shrill voices of extremists
both the far Left and Ri tered
пу hope of a peaceful time at war's
end. Americans became aware of the
Commu threat [rom without
the di among us used
of Communists within to trample human
his and individua
ter power. McC
America in the middle Forties. Congres-
sional committees on un-American activi-
ties investigated nterrogated the
common citizen well as our greatest
scientists, our university faculties and
ed in a
ad
our clergy; Americans demanded that
other Americans sign loyalty oaths; the
communications industry (movies, tele-
ision and radio) drew up blacklists that
permanently barred individuals sus-
pected of politically improper views or
affiliations; neighbor spied on neighbor:
brother turned in brother. Anyone who
had ever been a member of the Com-
munist Party, for whatever reason (ex-
cept as an agent for the FBI) and at
whatever time, was a Red (completely
ignoring the fact that many misguided
but sincere and loyal Americans joined
the Party in the Thirties when Com-
munist Russia was not our enemy and
the Forties when she was actually our
ally); anyone who presently belonged, or
had ever belonged to any of a hundred
different clubs, organizations or affilia-
tions that appeared on any of several
hundred different lists (made up by al-
most
nyone who had some names ау
able and a mimeograph machine) as
proCommunist, a Communist front,
Communist influenced, Communist infil-
trated, or sympathetic with
ISC, wi Red:
who objected to, and spoke out
the injustice, defamation and pcrsecu-
tion of these individuals was a “Pinko”
or a "fellow ti At no time
America" the label]
technique more frequently, or success-
fully, put to use. A real, 100-percent, red-
white-and-true-blue American was judged
not by what he stood for, but by what he
stood against. If it was unwise to voice
an unpopular point of view during the
Depression and War, it was positively
foolhardy once the War had been won,
for it could cost a man his job and his
good name. Conformity was the safest
road: to be outstanding or outspoken
was to be exposed; to be invisible was
to be secure. We had created а nati
of conforming, security-consciou
¢, group-oriented, nonthinking.
unquestioning, responsibility-avoid
visible M.
In 20 years of Depression, War and
Post War pressures, we had very nearly
aged to destroy the fundame
Said social, econontie and poli
iefs upon which this nation wa
founded and through which we had
prospered and grown.
THE UPBEAT GENERATION
America in the late
first be
: а new generation
Somewhere in
19405 a significant counterwav
gan to be fel
coming of age that se
accept the current shibboleths, chains,
traditions and taboos. It was попе too
soon, for America was lagging woefully
in education, the the sciences and
world leadership. There were and are
pessimists who believe the nation drifted
F the point of no return, We are not
among them.
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49
PLAYBOY
50
A small portion of this new genera-
tion, a colorful fringe only, broke from
the fetters of conformity in what has
been called a revolution without ban-
ners. These were the so-called Beat Gen-
cration, moder hilists for whom
it was enough, apparently, to flout and
defy. For their few number and the
profound negativism. the Beats at-
ted an inavedible amount of national
So much so, in fact, that the
nation was distracted from a much morc
significant and larger segment of the
new generation, a group less colorful on
the surface thout the beards, berets
and dirty underwear), but sharing the
rebellious spirit of the Beats, and equally
ready to throw olf the shackles of same-
ness and security. Both groups refused to
accept the old ideas and ideals passed
along by the previous conformity-ridden
generation, but whereas the Beat part of
new generati стей the old in a
tive way, simply turning their backs
on society and ceasing to communicate,
the rest searched for new answers and
new opportunities in a spirit t
positive in the extreme, We've
these, appropriately we th
beat G tion. They wing the
country again and they are, we're
certain, the only hope America has for
the [wtu
Actually, the spirit and attitude of the
Upbeats is right out of the first part of
this century it's the same optimistic
viewpoint and zest for living that made
| the first place. In the
)30s and lost faith in
selves, we hid our individual identities
within groups, decisions were made by
committees, companies were run by
boards; today, a younger and less fearful
generation seems willing to look the
future straight in the [ace and spit in
the Up-
940s wc our-
its eye.
Life calls it the “Take-Over Gener-
ation” and they devoted an entire issue
to the subject last fall. "Coming hard
in its
over the horizon,” Life wrote
oduction to the issue, “just beginnit
to make his presence and his power felt,
а new breed of American. He is filled
with purpose and he thinks on a scale
that often scares his elders. He demands
responsibility, not because he craves
authority but because he can get the
job done. He is, at this moment in his
tory, starting to take over our destiny.
7... Younger men and women [are]
pressing into authority: in government,
a business, in science, in education and
the arts. “The guy you give the job to
23. The guy who tells him what to do
is 25; says the 39-year-old boss of one of
the biggest nuclear laboratories in the
U.S. where all of the concepts as well as
the people are brand-new. Even in older
Ате bli: the
has started. In the big corporation, where
the old desire for job security is giving
ments
way to a new insistence on job oppor
ing young idea man is
ng to lay the Organization
Man to rest.”
Life noted that the new generation
was moving so fast that of the 1200
freshmen entering Harvard last Septem-
ber, over 10 pi
prepared to be given the option of start-
ing right off as sophomores. Life quotes
your
of Lawrence Radiation
saying, “Y. excel, You just can.
There are very few things in this coun-
try that can't be figured ош. Most peo-
ple are just too prone to laz
ss He
has made his laboratory, located in
Livermore, California, a place. "where
men have the ability to explore their
own abilities
“If I went by the book, I couldn't get
a flight off the ground,” says Lewis B.
Maytag, Jr, 36-year-old president of
National Airlines, whom Life describes
as having “monumental impatience with
anything that stands in his way when he
Wants to get something done. He has
ways been equally impatient with him-
- He resents what he considers a
sell
too helpful, too protective society. ‘Free
ys. "lets the cream top
enterprise; he
out. Suppress this, make everybody a
common man, and society's in woubl
Nothing moves fast enough
Richard L. Dorman, Los Angeles archi
tect and designer,” according to Life;
Dick, winner of 10 national awards, is
co-architect and designer (along with
Arthur Davis of New Orleans) of the
Hollywood and San sco Playboy
Clubs, “1 want to change everythi
Life quotes h my letter-
heads, my office, the decorations. 1 want
to upgrade everything
20 years of stultifying conform-
new gen wakened
natural optimism, rebel spiri
псе of the indi
п enthusiasm, a restless
dissatisfac the status quo, a
ing to know more and experi
more is typical of youth in
Americ g
most successfully put this youthful vigor
d attitude to work as a national dream.
The dream got lost for a time — for 20
years to be more precise — but the new
gem the Upbeat Generation
though it grew up through the Thirties
d Forties, was relatively unalfected by
the profound negativism of those two
decades. Lis members were too young to
feel the hardship and humiliation of the
Depresion and without the real fears
d frustrations of the Thirties branded
deep imo their psyches, they were able
to shake off the conformity of the War
years and the threats of the. Post War
period with relative ease
The manner in which America finally
rejected and struck down McCarthyism
in the mid-Fifties should have proved the
changing temper of the time
was other evidence of start
available as carly as the late 1940s. for
¢ who could read the signs: The new
ed the frisky and ro-
mantic side of its nature by starting a
love affair with the Re ng “Twenties —
the decade it has come to most resemble
in mood and attitude. It began with the
resurrection of F. Scott Fitzgerald, the
author most associated with the Jazz Age:
Fitzgerald had not been popular since
before the Depression and when he died
in 1940 every one ol his books was out
of print, but suddenly he one of
the most lely read. and talked. about
writers of the day and his popularity, far
from proving a lad, has continued un
nished over the last dozen years. Our
women began wearing fashions adapted
from those of the Twenties (the Chemise,
the Sack) and some of the most popular
styles were almost exact copies. We sa
thing to be scen in mov
generation: kept a slight British musical
titled, The Boy Friend, running month
after month after month on Broadway,
because it was an enchanting parody of
the romantic musicals of the Twenties;
onal fad of the Jazz
Age's most famous piece of wearing ap-
parel, the raccoon coat, a craze that was
over almost as soon as it had begun, but
not before Time was able to report that
Macy's was unable to keep enough in
stock to handle the orders (we remember
reaction to that могу in Time: an
of a dozen industrious ladies
down in Macy's basement — surrounded.
h piles of unsold Davy Crockett rac
coon hats from stock — sewing them to-
gether into coats for the new fad). And
some of us even tried to learn the
Charleston, before the Twist got us by
default. The Upbeat Generation clearly
feels a strong kinship with the Roaring,
Twenties and the two periods share
much in common in both spirit and
point of view. The Upbe enjoy
kicking up their heel ting in
ihe same sort of fun and frivolity fo
which the Twenties are most Tamous, but
they are equally сар nuckling
down to a particular job and getting it
s described by Life in its “Tal
sue, What some fail to realize
(and this includes a number of PLAYBOY'S
tics) is the extent to which the lighter
side of life truly complements the serious
side: either without the other would re-
sult in only half a man. The fellow who
spends all of his time in lei:
never knows the intense satisfaction that
is to be had through real accomplish-
ment; but the man who knows noth
but his work is equally incomplete. An
because activity actually begets activity,
the man who works hard, and plays hard.
tivity
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too, will soon find that he is accomplish-
ing more of both than if he had tried
to concentrate all or most of his effort
in only one direction.
PLAYBOY, of course,
cerned with the lighter side of life, but
we have always tried to view man and his
world as the sum of all of their parts a
we believe that properly balanced
the parts should fit together and comple-
ment one another.
Our editorial emphasis is оп enter
i me activity rather
ment and 1
the creature comforts and the infinite
variety of man's more elegant, leisuic-
time possessions, clearly stress that these
are the prizes available in our society
in return for honest endeavor and hard
work. Thus rraynoy exists, in part, а
motivation for men to expend gr
cllort in their work, develop their
bilities further and climb higher on the
ladder of success. This is obviously de-
ble in our competitive, free enter
prise system, for only by each individual
striving to do his best does the county
itself progress and prosper. The fact that
man is motivated by material posses
ions and comforts does not mean t
he has no other interests and that he is
not also motivated by other nonmaterial
considerations. The acquisition of prop-
rty—and in the 1960s property may
п а handsome bachelor pad, elabo-
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s the cornerstone of our American eco-
nomic system. And a publication tha
helps motivate a part of our society to
work harder to accomplish more, to
cam more, in order lo enjoy more of
the material benefits described — to that
extent, the publication is contributing
to the economic growth and strength of
the nation.
RELIGION AND FREE ENTERPRISE
Americans actually suller from a sli
Case of schizophrenia where money
concerned, Most of us would like to hı
a goodly supply of it on hand (prefer
ably tax free), but we also refer to it as
filthy lucre and the root of all evil. We
believe in American free enterprise, but
its natural benefits sometimes m:
feel guilty. These mixed emotions
reflection of a schism Бери
ligio 1 our political, sociol
economic bel
On the relig
Because we spend a relatively few years
in this world and an eternity in the next,
none of the things of this world really
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The body of a man is soon dead and
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51
PLAYBOY
52
give the bodily comforts, desires and
ft. From this
PLAYBOV's editorial interest in fine food
and drink, male fashion, cars, hi-fi, ap:
ment design, and such would seem super-
ficial and our concern with sex not
short of sinful. (We plan on explor
the matter of sex in some detail, but pre-
fer to tackle it separately a bit further on.)
Unitarian minister John A. Crane crit
icized this so-called superficiality in a ser-
mon on the magazine: "PLAYnov teaches
polished consumership for older chil-
dren,” he said. And also: "The magazi
presents, implicitly, а new im
ideal man for its readers, the
man every modern, liberated, intelligent,
red-blooded American boy spire to
be. The ideal man is, above all, a skilled
consumer of the bountiful flow of goods
and services produced by our economy
of abundance. He is a man of discrimi-
nating taste, style and polish. He knows
how to spend money with flair.”
Harvey Cox had this commercial aspect
of PLAYBOY in mind when he called us
ste-makers" in an article on
n Christianity and Crisis
wd Roy Larson wrote, in Low-
down on the Upbeats for the Methodist
publication Motive: “vLaysoy's readers
+ + + need never make the mistake of
serving YMCA-type foods, for the maga-
zine has a food editor whose knowledge
of foods is matched only by his knowl
edge of the psychology of the young
urban ma favorite food article ap-
peared in one of the early issues under
the title The Sophisticated Cheese. Alter
extolling the virtues of what he called
n urbane bacteria, the author went
on to suggest that one can measure the
degree of one’s maturity by one’s choice
in cheese.
“More specifically, he said: “The best
inds of cheese are never eaten by young-
sters. A growing boy will gobble down a
Swiss cheese on rye at the corner drug-
store, but he will consistently drown all
the cheese flavor with a double-rich
malted milk. After his graduation from
college he'll k to appreciate a Welsh
Rabbit, but he'll not be able to tell the
difference between French i
‘Trappist until he reaches hi
H you are now weighing the full im-
plications in this criticism of PLAYsOY's
“polished cousumership," along with the
church doctrine that hes behind it, you
bout to make the rather disturbing
discovery (or perhaps you'd already made
он and free enterprise
“dictatorial
are, in ncompatible.
The really our religious
life are intin
twined in our dream of a free democratic
society, but certain of the old traditions
and taboos, conceived nother world
and another age, then
part of organized rel
centuries, are as much in conflict with
our present« ica as the.
Mormon beli
few short ye
Perhaps the notions that poverty is
holier than wealth, and the poor are
more certain to receive eternal salvation
than the h. made some sense
jous preachment many centuries ago,
when almost all men were paupers and
certain to remain that way; they make
very little sense in America today, how-
ever, where every man has an oppor-
tunity to better himself. Perhaps the
solemn claim that the meck shall inherit
the time and place where
slaves; but free men
ve a tight to be heard,
сє, have a right to
take pride in their
s re-
have
be dillerent
differences.
If what many of us profess to bel
religiously were actually applied to Amer-
ican social, political а
we would have a system more 1
than capitalis. Much of
still remaining in today's ot
ion tends to de-emphasize com-
petition and the importance of the
individual; a sort of selfless interest in
helping others, without doing
with
nherent
ıd economic life,
arly
the
to help oneself is stressed,
attention often gi
weaknesses than his strei ссот-
plishments in this world are of relatively
minor importance and physical comforts
and pleasures are often frowned upon
nd sometimes thought to be sinful.
We're applying 16th Century
religi
ıo a 20th Century world; a more sophi:
ticated time requires a more sophisti-
nd soul are i
mony with one
that ma
confit
"s body, mind
ather than hi
and the idea that man was
d upon this world. but not
pected to accomplish. anything while
here, se
success, and in
Шу inane. Jn man's
s struggling for success,
з benefit as well as he, himself: and
i nd sometimes truth. or
beauty, as well — gets advanced another
notch. H it were not for this,
were not allowed to struggle and dre:
d accomplish wondrous things on his
little planet, there would be no point to
his existence here at all, and it would
require a very strange and calloused God
to play so pointless and cruel a joke on
all man
To some of us capitalism is almost a
dirty word. It shouldn't be. It's time
Americans stopped being embarrassed
and almost ashamed of their form of
government and their economy. It's the
best two-horse parlay in the world and
perhaps if we were more fully sold on
ourselves, we could do a better job
of selling it to other countries. It is cer
tainly essential for us to dean out
areas of confusion im our thinking —
like the free enterp
conflict—so that we
what it is we do believe in. Whole coun
tries are often won to one side or the
other with ideas the . This is not a
time to be vague or uncertain.
fully unde
ows largest bank holding corpo
nationally syndicated
newspaper column on business and gov
er tly wrote: "What we have
in American free enterprise is an almost
perfect blending of the forces that moti-
vate people. It combines eq
portunity and freedom of ch
our dominant individual traits of acqu
itiveness and competitiveness.
If we were looking Гог additional evi-
dence of the merits of the free enterprise
ystem, we couldn't ask for much more
dramatic proof than East and West Ber-
lin today. The contrast between the two
ves of that once whole city — one re
building under a democratic free econ
omy and the other under Communist
socialism — says more than any business
or financial expert ever could. And so do
the East Berliners scrambling to escape
over and under the hated. all that sep
Tates the two sectors.
here's another bit of negative evi-
dence here in the U.S. that de:
comment, too. During the Бер:
the Thirties, this country came as close
to socialism as it ever has, with the Gov-
ernment creating hundreds of thousands
of jobs for the unemployed. During that
period, the optimism, initiative and com-
petitive spirit that supply a unique spark
to our Liss ente system. a ur
ment, rece
almost every "E activity.
ng the effect of it now in the
race for space. Russia used u
tion to pull ahead of us in missile re
wd to shorten the gap. between
the two countries in m аз.
Where socialism has f;
has in many areas — Russia has
duced various capitalistlike inceni
But one thing Russia bas been unable to
supply to its program is the spark that
only a free society has. It can make the
difference.
America, a new genera-
tion is taking over — with all the upbeat
L. questing impatience and rebel
ingdo that are needed to put the
ck in the position of
unquestioned world leadership.
In the third and final part of “The
Playboy Philosophy,” which appears next
month, Editor Publisher Hugh M. Hefner
defends the PLAYBOY. editorial attitude
on sex and discusses the Womanization
of America and our drift towards an
Asexual Society.
Ba
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54
HE SERGEANT held the door open for
the other man.
А Lieutenant Simmons, Mr.
Vanyon,” he said. “I wonder would
you just start over again and tell the
lieutenant how this all happened?”
John Vanyon stood to shake hands.
“Well, I suppose so," he said, “but after
all, 1 just did tell you . .
“I know, Mr. Vanyon,” the sergeant
said, "but I want the lieutenant to hear
it from you yourself. You got to admit
this is not any common thing. I mean,
this is no traffic violation we're dealing
with here. This is serious.”
“Yes, I know," Vanyon said. “Very
well.” He dropped back into the chair.
They were in a small office opening off
the squad room. Their chairs were
pulled up to a battered kitchen table. A
cofleepot was going on an electric plate.
“You know who I am, l suppose?"
Vanyon asked Lieutenant Simmons.
“I know your name, you're 32, you're
a professor of music at the University
and you play the bells up there," Sim-
mons said. “That's all I know.”
"Assistant professor,” Vanyon said.
"And carillonneur. A carillon is a set
of chromatically tuned bells hung in a
tower, more than three octaves of them
... wel . . . in the summer, during
vacation, I play three times a day, eight
in the morning, noon, and nine at
night. For the nine o'clock program I
usually go into the tower about 8:30
and practice for a while: we have a
practice keyboard hooked up to xylo-
phone bars instead of bells. I did that
tonight. It was 8:30 when I went imo
the tower. The rain was beginning,”
“Did you lock the door bel
“I closed it,” Vanyon said. “It locks
itself, it has a spring latch. It swings
very easily, for all its size. 105 hung on
ball-bearing hinges, I understand. I
know it was locked. I heard the bolt
slide into the slot. It has a slick, oil
sound. you can't mistake it.
“I went up to the playing cabin in
the top of the tower, and then . , .”
“Excuse me,” Simmons sai
understand there's an elevator?”
“Yes, there’s a small one in a corner
of the tower,” Vanyon said. “This is a
bare tower, there's nothing inside it but
the bells a stairway and the elevator.
‘The elevator is very slow, and as a rule
l use the stairs.”
“And the whole tower is about seven
stories high?” Simmons said.
“Three hundred-odd feet.”
“You must be in pretty good shape,”
Simmons said.
"I don't know," Vanyon said. “1 sup-
pose so."
"You must be strong," Simmons said.
1 noticed that when we shook
hands," the sergeant said. "You got a
strong grip."
‘All carillonneurs have strong hands,”
Vanyon said. “The instrument does
that. At any rate, I went up, and I ran
through the program 1 intended to play.
"Then I dimbed into the bell chamber —
through a trapdoor in the ceiling of the
cabin — and opened the louvers. I came
down again and set up the dappers,
something that must be done every time
the instrument is played, it's a matter
Th
GOLDEN
FROG
small and magical,
the mystic amulet
bestowed inhuman powers
on is possessor
fiction By KEN W. PURDY
of adjustment. And at nine o'clock I
began the program.
‘You'll remember that it was at about
nine that the storm really broke. I had
been playing for about five minutes
when the tower was hit. I understand it
happens during almost every thunder-
storm, but this was the first time I was
there. I must say it was a fantastic sen-
sation. cre's a lot of noise attendant
on playing the carillon. One's very close
to the bells—and we have two that
weigh seven tons cach — and then there
is a great clatter from the clapper wires,
the wooden keys and so on. But when
the lightning struck I couldn't hear any
of this over the tremendous crack the
lightning bolt made.
“I kept on playing. I fni
ed the
program. I fled the music away, went
up and closed the louvers, all the regu-
lar things. I put my shirt and jacket on,
and then I discovered that the door
wouldn't open."
“That's the door to the place upstairs,
you mean?" Simmons said.
"Right. The playing cabin. 1 couldn't
move it. I thought I must have locked
it, absentmindedly, but the latch was
off. Still, I couldn't budge it. І thought
of pulling the pins out of the hinges,
but they were on the outside and I
couldn't get at them. And the door it-
self is steel. It's painted to look like
wood but it's steel.’
"No phone in the tower?"
"No. And before tonight it had never
occurred to me that there was any need
for one. But I wasn't really bothered.
After all, nothing much could happen
to me. I decided that when the storm
dicd down I'd toll one of the big bells
until someone came to the foot of the
tower. Then I'd throw down the key
to the main door, wrapped in a note,
and wait for someone to come up and
take the cabin door off its hinges.
"While I was waiting I played some.
thing on the practice clavier. Then I
played it on the bells, with the louvers
Closed, just for myself.”
“wi id you play?”
“It was Pleyel's Sonata 3," Vanyon
said. “After that I played a Welsh
round, and then I improvised for a
while. I played until my hands were
tired. When I stopped I noticed that
the thunder was barely audible. I
opened one of the two windows. There
was almost no rain falling. I looked
down and that was when I first saw
him. He was standing in the exact сеп.
ter of that little place in front of the
door, in the center of the circle of light
that falls there, and he was looking up.
I waved and he waved back. I made a
gesture to him to wait, and I ran over
to the bench and scribbled the note,
which you have now, and wrapped the
key in it and tossed it to him. He caught
it, in one hand, and I remember think-
ing that it seemed very easy for him, he
just stuck his hand out and took it. He
read the note and then he moved out
of sight. He went to the door.”
"Now, why do you think he didn't
open it?” Simmons said.
"For the reason he gave,” Vanyon
said. "He couldn't."
“But the sergeant says it opened right
up for him,” Simmons said.
"I know, and so did the cabin door.
But you have to remember, that was
some time later. My belief is that the
lightning strike did it somehow — froze
the. doors to the jambs, both of them."
"Couldn't" the sergeant said.
“Well, I couldn't open mine, and he
said he couldn't open the main door. 1
PLAYBOY
56
beheved him, and I still think he was
telling the truth.”
“It’s easier for you to believe some
of this than it's going to be for me, I
can tell you that,” Simmons said.
“из not a question of belief,"
Vanyon said. "Not for me, at least. I
saw it all. I'm sure the sergeant has told
you what happened next. He came out
into the light again, waved in a kind of
helpless way, clearly trying to indicate
to me that the key wouldn't work, and
then he walked over to the corner of the
tower and began to climb it.”
“A human fly,” the sergeant said.
Ir. Vanyon,” Lieutenant Simmons
"I know what that tower looks
like, and I have to tell you right now
that I find what you say hard to be
lieve. All right, it’s not perfectly smooth.
Maybe. there's a foothold here and
there. Here and there, 1 say. But I
think it would be a rough proposition
to climb that tower even with a rope.
Without a rope, 1 say it’s impossible.”
John Vanyon left them. He wrapped
a handkerchief around the handle of
the coffeepot and brought it to the
table. They shook their heads. He filled
his cup.
“Let it
rattle,”
hip that cup.
the sergeant said.
“Your hand was shaking a little when
you poured the coffee.
“Was it?” Vanyon . He carried
the pot to its stand. "Lieutenant Sim-
mons,” he said, “I suggest you just let
me tell you what happened, straight
through, and after that we can go over
it and you can ask questions."
Simmons shrugged heavily. He smiled,
fat cheeks moving to slit his eyes.
ine,” he said. "But in that case I'd
like to get a stenographer in here and
take it down. Be much casicr for us to
go over it that way. You have no objec-
tion, have you?”
"No," Vanyon said. He didn’t like
the idea, but he couldn't think of an
effective argument. He felt vaguely
trapped, lightly but firmly held, like a
man lost in a forest. The harshness of
the room scratched on his nerves. He
conceived that the two policemen across
the table were implacably stupid and
he had to hold down a rising hatred.
‘The sergeant got up and went out.
“That storm didn't cool things any,”
Simmons said.
“Apparently not,” Vanyon said.
“Do you play anything besides the —
how do you say that, carillon?” Sim-
mons said.
“Piano and organ. Most carillonneurs
play one or the other.”
"I took piano when I was a kid. It
was a waste. When my wife wanted my
kid to start I told her nothing doing."
A tall girl came in. She was carrying
a little black case, and the sergeant, be-
hind her, his hand in the small of her
back, lower than it needed to be, had
another.
“Patrolwoman ‘Tierney, Mr. Vanyon,”
he said.
She offered her hand. She was strong.
Vanyon was six feet tall and she looked
him level in the eye. She was made taller
by red hair massed around her face,
the dense, wiry, incompressible kind of
hair. The lieutenant held a chair and
she sat down without looking, a girl long
used to having chairs held for her, but-
tocks so firm that she seemed to touch
the chair in two small places only. She
was a stenotypist and when she had her
little machine standing on its bandy-legs
she looked up and smiled.
“OK, Mr. Vanyon,” Simmons said.
“He started up the tower,” Vanyon
said. “He was on the corner, the south-
west corner to be exact, so that he had
one foot and one hand on each wall,
But only for the first 10 feet or so. Then
he moved over to the south wall. He
came up fast, just incredibly fast. He
moved in a practiced way, a habitual
way, as if he had been up the tower
before. He moved rhythmically. He
would reach for a handhold, and then
a foothold, he'd wait for a beat, then
lift himself smoothly, reach, wait, lift,
reach, wait, lift—it was wonderful to
watch, He came right on up, and I
could see him: young, dark hair, tan,
bareheaded, wearing a trench coat. He
looked up and grinned at me. He had
very white teeth, or perhaps they just
looked white because he was so tan. He
came up to the window and hooked
his elbows over the sill. He had an en-
gaging, open look, and he seemed
young except that his nose had been
broken, more than once, too.
“Well, he said, ‘are you asking me
in?
“I laughed. ‘You've come all this way,
why not? I said.
"He came over the sill and stood in
the middle of the floor, soaking wet. ‘I
suppose that's the stuck door, he said,
‘since it's the only one in the place.’ He
gave it a shake. "Buggered, he said,
‘just like the one below."
“1 introduced myself and he said his
name was Dennis Rolt. He didn't say
morc. Judging from his age, 1 took him
to be a graduate student or an instruc-
tor. І wasn't surprised at not having
scen him before. When 10,000 students
are set down in y of this size... I
asked him where in the world he had
learned to climb.
"In England,’ he said. ‘In my school
everybody ran up and down the build-
ings like so many deathwatch beetles.
One can’t do anything with really mod-
crn buildings, of course, but anything
old, or anything fake-Gothic, like this, is
casy enough. Might as well have lad-
ders running up them. They take in
the ladders going down, though. Differ-
ent matter, going down."
1 or not,’ I told him, ‘it was very
good of you to come up, and. . [
stopped there, and he laughed.
“You don't really know why I did
come up, do you?’ he said.
“And I didn't, you know.
1 could hardly expect to open your
door if you could not,’ he said, ‘and in
any case it wouldn't get you out if I
could, because the onc below’s jammed
as well. So I didn’t come up to rescue
you. You can be bloody sure I'm not
going to offer to carry you down the
wall on my back’
“You're right about that," I said. ‘
wouldn't go at the point of a gun.’
“And I didn't come to keep you com-
pany,’ he said. ‘You change ringers
know you're going to be lonely when
you sign on.’
" 'Carillonneurs; 1 told him. "Change
i ing clsc agai
“Its all bells,’ Rolt said. ‘And balls
to all bells, I say. It's a dreadful kind of
music. And balls to all music, comes to
that, bells or по bells. But that’s not
to say a word against musicians.
Musicians I'm for. Musicians of all
kinds and stripes, players of the lute,
the pipes, the mouth harp, the piano-
forte, the musical saw, the fiddle and the
flute. Also all artists of whatever kind,
from Leonardo to Bernard Buffet; paint-
ers in oil, watercolor, gouache, butter-
milk, egg yolk, India ink or stale beer:
painters on canvas, linen, silk, ivory, wet
plaster and sidewalks; also engravers,
masters of mezzotint or whatever; Lord's
Prayer pinhead specialists; money-makers,
particularly French money-makers; sculp-
tors, whether of stone, marble, jade, clay
or ice for carnivals— all sculptors. par-
ticularly, in my view, untutored Eskimo
sculptors sawing away on whale-tooth and
soapstone; some jewelers, bookbinders,
chefs de cuisine; one chef d'équipe: three
unicycle riders and a very few bill collec-
tors. All those, and a good many more
and emphatically I am including all ca
lonncurs and bell-bongers, whether of the
high degree, the middle or the low."
“He walked up and down the cat
very fast, as he talked,” Vanyon said,
“and first I thought he was drunk and
then that he was psychotic—crazy. And
the more he talked the more he did talk.
His articulation fed on itself. 1 would
like to have had Miss ‘Tierney there to
it, because I can't begin to repro-
Patrolwoman "Tierney smiled, enough
to suggest that she appreciated the mild
compliment, not enough to suggest that
she thought it а jolly idea.
“I came up,’ Rolt said, “because you
represent the ideal human person. It
was perfectly evident, even when who
(continued on page 88)
“Surprise! Surprise!”
WHAT THE COCKTAIL is to the end of
the office day. champagne js to the end
of the year. Cast champagne as the
principal ingredient in a cocktail and
you have a drmk of absolutely un-
rivaled éclat.
As a sparkling status symbol whose
pedigree is no less prestigious than that.
of the crowned heads of Europe, cham-
pagne has no peer among potations.
Bubbly — be it pale gold or pink — can
turn a breakfast or a banquet into an
opulent occasion. On New Year's Eve,
it is delightfully de rigueur for bidding
fond farewells or relieved good rid-
dances to the departing twelvemonth.
Only those who've never will
shy away from mixing champagne with
other potables. To argue, as some ob-
stinate purists do, that because cham-
pagne is the most glamorous of all
wines, it should never be part of a
mixed drink is likc remonstrating that
since lobster is the most delectable sea-
food known to man, it should never be
“made into lobster newburgh or thermi-
‘The fact is that in matters bubbly
verse holds true; because cham-
radiates its own gilt-edged glory,
nk into which it’s poured be-
ously exciting for toasting
mpagne drinks, only a
Jack Velvet (a half-and-
champagne and stout)
jubblys taste. In all
‚ cups and cocktails,
bouquet of the wine
— remains stead-
witchery that's
| your best bet
ip is to buy
ty
f the Concord
champagnes
ly with the
lew Year's Eve
Гоп page 144)
ling variations
a bubbly theme
for an effervescent
=)
` HEW year's eve
PLAYBOY
60
лах «x
“You're not thinking Christmas, Miss Barnett!”
A PRIME EXAMPLE of ice sculpture she
was, the glacial beauty in the come-on
red dress, holding her own party in the
corner of the room. Daniel inspected the
attraction over the heads of her male
admirers; fortunately, he was the tallest
man in the crowd. For a moment, their
eyes met and conducted a brief conver-
sation, He got himself another drink
and waited for an opening.
It came in the kitchen. Ostensibly,
she was helping the hostess dispense
lamb curry and little hot frankfurters,
but she looked painfully undomestic. He
came to her assistance, and her icy-blue
eyes traveled from his brush-cut blond
hair to end at his windmilling bow tie.
“Crooked,” she said throatily.
“Fix it," he suggested.
She obliged without coyness. He in-
haled the perfume of her dark hair like
a professional brandy sniller, and then
explored the terrain of her snowy
shoulder, He wondered if it would be
cold to the touch. He was about to find
out, but became distracted by a small
jeweled pin that was clasping her neck-
line together. It was a pin in the shape
of a glowworm, its extremity luminous
with a tiny emerald.
“Pretty pin,” he said.
Her back went rigid, and she touched
the pin lightly with a coral fingernail.
“Does it look familiari" she said, in an
“Nice of you to help me,” she said. “You might even claim a reward.”
THE GLOWWORM
fiction By HENRY SLESAR
it, too, can turn—especially upon those who misuse its potent powers
odd voice.
“Familiar? Why, no, I just think it’s
pretty.”
“Oh.” She handed him a tray, and
blessed him with an incandescent but
chilly smile. “Very nice of you to help
me. You might even claim a reward.”
“What kind of reward?”
“Meet me on the terrace at 11, and
ГЇЇ explain.”
She swept by him. He followed with
the tray, and spent the intervening time
talking to an engineer, an advertising
executive and a woman whose religion
was skindiving. The girl in the red dress
(he learned her name from the engineer:
it was Deborah) vanished within the
cordon of her private party.
At 11, he apologized to the skindiving
enthusiast and went out on the apart-
ment-house terrace for a breath of air.
Deborah was there, her profile turned to
the night. “Well,” he said lightly, “here
we are.”
She opened her beaded red bag and
rummaged for something. She found it,
and handed it to him without a word.
He held it toward the light from the
French windows, and read:
THE GLOW SOCIETY, DEBORAH LANDIS,
[23
There was a handwritten date he
couldn't read. The card was severe in
design, except for the small illustration
of a glowworm with a green posterior.
“Very interesting,” he said. “Only
what's it supposed to mean?"
Now she turned to face him. She was
beautiful, marblelike, in the blended
light-and-shadow of the terrace.
"Your name, please?" she said crisply.
"Daniel. Daniel Holrood."
“Mr. Holrood, you must promise me
that what I say will go no further.”
He chuckled. "You're not a spy, or
anything like that? 1 mean, I don't work
for the Government, you know."
"I'm not a spy. The Glow Society is
a strictly private organization. It dates
back to 1928, and of necessity it must
maintain absolute secrecy.”
“Scout's honor,” he "Just tell
me what the hell it's all about"
She looked toward the skyline once
more.
"It may be dearer if I tell you
the significance of the Society's name.
‘The letters stand for ‘Great Lovers of
the World.' ”
“Great lovers of the—you must be
kidding me.”
“I'm serious, Mr. Holrood. The Glow
was organized by our founder, Miss Bet-
tina Rasher, in 1928 at Atlantic City,
New Jersey. It was formed in the inter-
est of — attractive women everywhere,
who are neither anxious to be domesti-
(concluded on page 164)
61
THE NEW YEARS DAY BRUNCH
zesty provender to fortify post-revelry celebrants
food and drink By THOMAS MARIO
Of all the for-
mulas concocted to cast off the post—
New Year's Eve pall, none is more likely to recapture
the previous night’s comradery and smooth the rumpled
feathers of the late-rising night owl quicker than a festive carly-
afternoon array of good food and drink. If you're the host of a holiday
brunch, you're in the particularly attractive position of being able to stick close
to your own glowing hearthside. Don't let your open house be too open; you'll want
only those of your confreres and confidantes with whom you honestly enjoy eating and
drinking. They should come as they are with no particular protocol for dress or diversion.
A few may arrive at your door exhibiting a slight under-the-weather-beaten look. But after the
first round of frozen screwdrivers, their listlessness will dissolve into spirited note-trading on the
previous night's itineraries. This urbane renewal of the year-end's wassailing has its roots in history.
In the days when New York was Nieuw Amsterdam, Dutch bachelors on New Year's morning always
called on young Nicuw Amsterdamsels. After eight or ten stops and eight or ten punch bowls, the average
young Dutchman would begin Zuider Zeeing things, and would then have to be carefully guided home on
the arms of his nearest Dutch uncle. After your second or third round of drinks, the Japanese New Year's
celebration lasting an entire week begins to make more and more sense. The proper milieu for your brunch
is, of course, the inviting expanse before a blazing log fire, close enough to the buffet table to savor the fragrance
of scrambled eggs and truffles, of finnan haddie and capers, of sausages sizzling in a chafing dish. Although your
agenda may be vaguely scheduled for a noonish kickoff, the whole day’s docket should be as flexible as possible.
Brunchers, always a law unto themselves, are entitled to the privilege of eating when they're hungry and drinking
when they're dry in either order. Only one exception comes to mind. If there’s to be revelry around a bowl of
creamy eggnog, this event is best billed after the food is offered. The same counsel holds for sherry flips or port
flips, both of which are quasi desserts and are best enjoyed after eating. Every pick-me-up should produce the
glowing effects of a hot-and-cold shower, alternately soothing and stimulating. When you mix the bloody marys,
there should be an extra dash of Tabasco, an extra squirt of lemon juice. Let the jigger runneth over when you
pour the cognac or kirsch on the rocks. {One of the first duties of the brunchmaster is to set a table that's
sumptuous, and the most important step in making your table bounteous is to acquire buffet ware that’s
vivid and inviting. Highly burnished Sheffield silver platters and coffee sets, for instance, once the main
interest of antiquarians, are now sought after as modern graces of easy entertaining. (Even a New Year's
Day get-together designed along the lines of a Continental breakfast — juice, rolls and coffee —can be
done up memorably. A single glass of orange juice or a screwdriver is a somewhat forlorn sight. How
much more munificent are the very same drinks poured into a deep glass pitcher, resting in an iced
champagne bucket, surrounded with a wide circle of polished Delmonico glasses or tulip-shaped
stemware. One of the most auspicious sights on any New Year's Day table is a commodious
breadbasket piled high with warm quick breads. Today, this kind of prodigality is merely
a matter of shopping at the right places. If you've access to a French baker, you can
garner an assortment of brioches, the richest and silkiest of soft rolls, flaky
croissants so tender they seem to float away when you sample them, long
salt sticks and crisp club rolls, For partisans of Americana there are
blueberry muffins, corn muffins and pecan buns, all from the
frozen-food counters. They require no more toil
than brief baking or warming in their
own pan. Pre-
PLAYBOY
serves can be lined up, ranging from
French Bar-le-Duc to Canadian wild blue-
berry jam to Hawaiian orchid honey.
Coffee should be in the largest and
brightest urn and everflowing. In the
cold light of the morning after, the brew
should be unadorned and, if anything, a
little darker than usual. The best coffee
in the world will taste even better if you
own an electric grinder and use it right
before brewing,
Realistically, however, you'll want
more than an orange juice, roll and cof-
fee routine when you're holding a house
party. But the holiday brunch should
never be expanded into an overworked
smorgasbord. Two or three chafing dishes
of hot food should suffice. Each should be
cooked and stowed away a day in ad.
vance, whenever possible, both for better
flavor and for avoiding the occasional
confusion that sometimes accompanies
lastminute preparations If there's a
small gathering of two or three couples,
such short gastronomic services as shirred
eggs, waffles or griddle cakes can be
proffered. In larger groups one of the
distaff members of the crowd should be
designated as tender of the waffle iron or
griddle iron, filling orders as requested.
Your only worry in the midst of such
festive carryingson may well be how
you're going to keep the following 364
days from being anticlimactic.
FROZEN SCREWDRIVERS
(Serves four)
6 ozs. frozen undiluted orange juice
6 ozs. water
2 cups coarsely cracked ice
6 ozs. vodka
Put all ingredients in an electric
blender, Blend 10 to 15 seconds.
FROZEN BLOODY MARYS
(Serves four)
18-02. can tomato juice
Juice of 1 lemon
8 dashes Tabasco sauce
6 ozs. vodka.
14 teaspoon celery salt
14 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
Freeze tomato juicc in the icecube
tray of the refrigerator. Put balance of
ingredients іп electric. blender. Add
tomato juicc cubes. Blend until all in-
gredients are puréed. Move frozen pieces
of tomato juice toward blender knives
as necessary. The drink will be quite
thick and may be served with a spoon.
COFFEE кєсмос
(Serves six)
6 ozs. coffee liqueur
4 eggs
6 ozs. heavy sweet cream
1 quart milk
2 ozs. cognac
Ground coriander seed
Beat eggs well in a large mixing bowl.
Add coffee liqueur, cream, milk and
cognac slowly, beating well. Chill thor-
oughly in refrigerator. Sprinkle with cori-
ander, after pouring in serving glasses.
SCRAMBLED ECCS WITH TRUFFLES
(Serves four)
12 eggs
4-07. piece of slab bacon (unsliced)
гот. tin truffles
Madeira or sherry wine
Salt, pepper
3 ozs. sweet butter
Cover bacon with cold water in sauce-
pan. Bring to a boil. Simmer slowly until
bacon is very tender, about 30 to 40
minutes. Chill bacon in refrigerator. Cut
off rind from bottom of bacon. Discard
id. Cut bacon into thinnest possible
slices. Cut slices into smallest possible
dice. Drain truffles. Cut truffles into
small dice. Cover truffies with Macca:
Let stand for about | hour. Di
truffles, discarding Madeira. Beat peus
well in a deep bowl Add bacon and
truffles to eggs Add 1⁄4 teaspoon salt
and Y teaspoon white pepper or more
to taste. Melt butter in electric skillet
over low heat. Add eggs. Stir constantly,
cooking until eggs are soft scrambled.
Serve with buttered-toast triangles.
SCRAMBLED EGGS WITH GENOA SALAMI
(Serves four)
6 ozs. Genoa salami sliced very thin
4 medium size fresh tomatoes.
4 scallions
12 eggs
3 ozs. sweet butter
Salt, white pepper, cayenne pepper
Bring a saucepan of water to a boil.
Lower tomatoes into boiling water for
20 seconds Remove tomatoes from
water. Place under cold running water
for a minute. With a sharp paring knife,
remove tomato skins. Cut out stem
ends. Cut each tomato in quarters. Press
gently to remove seeds. Cut tomatoes
into Yin. dice. Separate slices of salami.
Place in a shallow pan in oven pre-
heated at 370° for 20 to 25 minutes or
until salami is browned. Remove from
oven. Drain and discard fat. Break salami
slices into coarse pieces, crumbling it by
hand. Cut scallions crosswise into thin
slices, using white part of scallion and
about 2 in. of green. Beat eggs well. Melt
butter in electric skillet over low heat.
Add tomatoes. Sauté until tomatoes are
tender. Add eggs, salami and scallions.
Add у teaspoon salt, 1⁄4 teaspoon white
pepper or more to taste and dash of
cayenne pepper. Stir constantly, cooking
until eggs are soft scrambled. Serve with
sliced toasted Italian or French bread.
HAM, CHIVE SAUCE, POACHED EGG
(Serves four)
1-1b. ham sliced paper thin
(No. 1 on slicing machine)
4 tablespoons butter
2 cups light cream
2 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons fresh chives, minced fine
Salt, pepper
3 tablespoons salad oil
5 tablespoons butter
4 slices white bread
4 poached eggs
(Be sure ham is machinesliced, not
hand-sliced, and not the usual packaged
sliced ham.) Tear ham into pieces about
1 in. square. Place ham in a saucepan
with 4 tablespoons butter. Sauté over
low flame, stirring frequently until ham
is curled, not brown. Blend cream and
flour in blending machine about 10
seconds. Pour over ham, bring to a
boil. Simmer slowly about 5 minutes,
stirring frequently. Add chives and salt
and pepper to taste. Keep warm. Heat
salad oil and 3 tablespoons butter in a
skillet until butter melts. Fry bread
until medium brown on both sides.
Spoon ham mixture over bread on serv-
ing plates. Place poached egg on top
of ham.
CHEESE SOUFFLE WITH BRANDY
(Serves four)
6 egg yolks
6 egg whites
1⁄4 cup butter
14 cup flour
1 cup hot milk
1⁄4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
14 cup brandy
1⁄4 lb. shredded cheddar or Swiss cheese
1⁄4 teaspoon onion powder
1⁄4 teaspoon garlic powder
Salt, pepper
Melt butter in a heavy saucepan and
remove from flame as soon as melted.
Stir in flour slowly with a wire whisk
until no lumps remain, and very slowly
add hot milk, stirring constantly. Re-
turn to moderate flame, simmer 5 min-
utes, stirring ‘frequently, and remove
from fire. Beat egg yolks well and stir
into sauce slowly. Add nutmeg, brandy,
cheese, onion powder, garlic powder and
salt and pepper to taste. Place over
moderate flame and cook, stirring con.
stantly, until sauce is very thick; then
remove from flame and let cool an hour.
Preheat oven to 325°. Beat egg whites
stif but not dry, until they form soft
peaks, and fold into cheese mixture.
‘Turn into a 2-quart casscrole. Bake ap-
proximately an hour in preheated 325°
oven or until souffle has risen and is
golden brown. Serve at once.
Of one thing you can be certain: Your
brunch will be a comfortably casual,
contagiously convivial way of starting
the New Year off on the right fere.
— THE PLAYBOY
|: the wide, and sometimes weird, world of publish-
ing, 1962 may well be remembered as The Year of
the Coloring Book. Who before then would have
guessed that droves of adults would pay loot for the
privilege of seeing their foibles parodied in sprightly
facsimilesof children’s entertainment? Whoindeedbut
three Chicago advertising copywriters—Marcie Hans,
Dennis Altman and Martin A. Cohen—who started
the fad with The Executive Coloring Book. To date, it
has sold nearly 300,000 copies and has spawned scores
of successors, including The Businessman’s Color-
ing Book, The Corporation Coloring Book, The Psy-
chiatric Coloring Book, The JFK Coloring Book, The
New Frontier Coloring Book and—so help us— The
Radio Time Buyer’s Coloring Book. Angered at first
by their imitators, Executives execs filed a fistful
of suits, but — perhaps mellowed by moola—they have
since desisted, in favor of issuing a second offering
of their own— The John Birch Coloring Book. At the
height—or depth—of this growing glut, The Realist,
a one-man gadfly journal, got into the act when its
razor-witted editor, Paul Krassner (who is also a
PLAYBOY Contributing Editor), suggested several
icon-tumbling, taste-defying, stuffed-shirt—pricking
coloring-book titles. Among them are The U.S. Sail-
ors Rendered Impotent by a Six-Month Cruise on a
Nuclear Sub Coloring Book, The Braille Coloring Book
for Use with Finger Paint and The Police Kicking
S--t Out of Non-Violent Ban the Bomb Demonstrators
Coloring Book. Eying all of this activity—color our
eyes jaundiced—we realized we'd be remiss if we did
not offer our readers a New Year's chance to flex
their crayons with their own Playboy Coloring Book.
DRAWINGS BY RALPH CREASMAN
THIS IS A PLAYBOY. He lives a colorful life. Color him colorful. Would
you like to be a playboy? You would? Then first, put down your crayons...
THIS IS WHERE THE PLAYBOY LIVES. It is called a pad.
The pad is full of toys. There are seven stereo speakers in this picture.
Find them and color them loud. See the blank picture frames on the wall?
They are part of the playboy’s modern art collection.
You may scribble in the blank spaces with your eyes closed.
HERE IS THE PLAYBOY WITH HIS TWO FAVORITE TOYS.
The one on the left is called a sports car. Color it fast. The one on the right
is called a playmate. Color her pretty. Now color the rest of her. The
playboy’s sports car can do 7000 rpm. How many rpm can the playmate do?
THESE ARE EXTRA PLAYMATES. Every playboy should have several
to spare. That is because variety is the spice of life. The playboy
likes his life spicy. Make one of the girls a blonde. Make one of the girls a
brunette. Make one of the girls a redhead. It does not matter
which is which. The girls’ hair colors are interchangeable. So are the girls.
THIS IS THE PLAYBOY’S LITTLE BLACK BOOK. No playboy
should be without one. Color it black. Do you have a little black book?
Good. Write the names, addresses and telephone numbers of the
prettiest playmates you know in your own little black book.
After the name, address and phone number, write down the playmate’s vital
statistics. Also write down your own vital statistics about your
last date with this playmate. Did you get to first base?
Did you get to second base? Did you get to third base? Did you score?
Isn’t this fun? It is just like baseball. Only better. Do not bother to copy
down the names and numbers from the book on this page.
They are phony. If you would like to send us your little black
book after it is all filled out, we will be happy to grade it for you.
And we will send you a nice thank-you note. Or maybe a get-well card.
THE PLAYBOY LIVES ON CREDIT. He has a credit
card for everything. He hasn’t paid cash for anything in the
last 10 years. Next week he is joining a new credit card
company. It is the best one of all. With this company’s credit
card, you can sign for monthly bills you receive
from other credit card companies.
THIS IS THE
PLAYBOY’S BEST VINTAGE
CHAMPAGNE. He only
opens a bottle on special
occasions. It is Saturday night
and the playboy has a
playmate in his pad. It is a
special occasion. So were
Sunday, Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday
and Friday.
THIS IS THE PLAYBOY’S OFFICE. He goes there to write stories.
The stories are called expense accounts. The boss must like them because
he says they are likely stories. The girl in the picture is the
playboy’s private secretary. The playboy likes to tell her other kinds
of stories. He has just told a story to his secretary. Color her face red.
The playboy’s secretary cannot type, or spell, or take shorthand.
Color her hair yellow, and her eyes green, and her lips red,
but leave her mind blank. The playboy’s secretary
has a funny birthmark, but it is covered by her blouse. If you wait
for a few minutes, perhaps you can color the birthmark.
THIS IS THE PLAYBOY’S JAPANESE VALET.
He is laying out the playboy’s English suit, Italian shoes and
French-cuff shirt. The playboy is very internationally inclined. He is
thinking about joining the Peace Corps. He thinks he will wait
until there is an opening in Monte Carlo.
THE PLAYBOY LIKES FOREIGN
MOVIES. He likes them because
they are artistic, sensitive
and outspoken. Here is a scene
ur
ill ;
—- á from a foreign movie.
p - Do you see the lady on the screen?
She is an artistic, sensitive
actress. Color her panties
an artistic, sensitive black.
THE PLAYBOY IS DINING OUT. He dines at only the best restaurants,
because he is a gourmet. Whatever that means. The playboy and his
date have ordered chateaubriand, rare. Color it dark brown.
The playboy is looking for a waiter. Color his face purple. There are five
waiters hidden in this picture. Can you find them? Neither can the
playboy. If you find them, color their hearts black. The playboy wishes
he was home in bed. Color the reason he wishes he was home in bed.
THE PLAYBOY IS THROWING A PARTY IN HIS PAD. The hi-fi is turned up
very high. The playboy’s neighbors have just called to complain. They have asked
him to please lower the sound. It is annoying them. They are vacationing in
Bermuda. The fat man is telling a crude joke. Color him blue. The
fat man isn’t much fun at parties, but he is always invited anyway, because
he is the playboy’s pal. The fat man owns a model agency and he always
brings his models with him to parties. The playboy chooses his pals
carefully. Someone must stay after the party is over and help the playboy
clean up his pad. Who will the playboy invite to stay and help clean up his pad?
Will the ravishing redhead in the green cocktail dress be invited to stay
and help? Will the beautiful brunette in the lavender toreador pants,
who is beating on the bongo drums, be invited to stay and help?
Will the pretty blonde wearing the glasses, and the strapless dress, and the
strapless 39-D brassiere be invited to stay and help? One thing is sure,
the fat man will not be invited to stay and help.
THE PARTY IS OVER. The playboy is alone in his pad.
Oh, look, the pretty blonde wearing the glasses, and the strapless dress,
and the strapless 39-D brassiere has been invited to stay and help.
She and the playboy are getting better acquainted. Color her eyes
as azure blue as the Mediterranean at dusk on the Italian Riviera. Color
her lips the red of the finest wine from France. Color her hair
as golden yellow as the sun at high noon in Egypt. The playboy has
promised to take the pretty blonde to all these places.
Make her glasses rose-colored. Color the playboy’s lies white.
HERE IS THE PRETTY BLONDE GIRL AGAIN. See how she stands
in front of the church? She has been standing in front of the church for a
long while now. Why is she wearing that funny white dress?
Is she waiting for the playboy? She is going to have a long wait. Color
this page completely black. Then tear it out and burn it.
ENISON
right one
with this
trio of
trailblazing
attire By ROBERT L. GREEN sweaters
Atop our sartorial ski poll, I to r: bulky-knit Icelandic-patterned boat-neck lamb‘s-wool
pullover, by P & M Distributors, $27.50; hand-loomed cable-knit wool-nylon pullover with
slit collar, silver link-chain closure, by Kingstone, $30; Norwegian-patterned brushed-
wool cardigan with convertible turtleneck collar, zip front, by Alps, $18.
LIZ AS CLEO
an exclusive unveiling
of a queen
in a taylor-made role
WHEN ELIZABETH TAYLOR applied a six-
inch Egyptian asp to her snowy bosom
in Rome last summer, and thereby
brought to a close the celluloid life of
Cleopatra, the gesture was fraught with
symbolic irony: While she dispatched the
Nile Queen, Liz was also w
to the costliest movie opus in history,
20h Century-Fox’s nearly calamitous
copatra. Bedeviled by Elizabeth's
nesses, hamstrung by pyramiding produc-
tion costs and plagued by the offscreen
antics of its principals, the cpic will start
its run this spring a hefty $37,000,000
in the red, with the future of Fox's for-
tunes riding squarely on its box-office
take. When the first flack-happy press re-
leases appeared announcing that Queen
Above: o clutch of Little
Egypts puts on o floor
show for banqueting
Cleopatra (liz! ond her
Latin lover, Mark Antony
{Richard Burton), in а
typically sumptuous
scene from the Fox ex-
frovogonzo. liz and
Richard's — offectionate
offscreen od liberties
stirred up on internotion-
ol ruckus that become c
couse célébre in gossip
columns. left ond for
left: looking like o million
(considerably less thon
what she'll earn for her
portrayol of the Sphinx
lynx), crowned princess
Elizabeth Taylor is every
inch Cleopotro os she
poses in two of 60 regol
gowns created for her
use in the film. It was
liz’ lock of costume in
the both scene, how-
ever, that provoked the
most publicity coverage.
81
left: truly а morsel for o monarch, Flizabeth Taylor heads for the royal both.
Above: imperial guests cool their heels while liz worms hers in o gigantic tub
during the filming of the much publicized bathing scene. Opposite, clockwise
from upper left: Liz cleans up in her Toylor-made port, in the process reveals
an admirable glimpse of Cleo's cleavage. In o seporate take, Richard Burton does
the rub-o-dub-dub bit under the tender loving care of a hondmoiden scrub team,
Following her ablutions, Liz stretches out to receive o filmed massage os o stage-
hand holds up o clack boord ond director Joseph Mankiewicz supervises ot
left. It is not yet certain whether or not this scene will be used in the U.S. version
of the film, or be restricted to foreign release. With $37,000,000 ot stoke, Fox
may break cinematic precedent and run the nude scene in the domestic version.
auspicious, even inevitable, choice. Soon after she had made it into Hollywood's
big kleigs in National Velvet, Liz began garnering praise for her near-flawless
feature attractions and her voluptuous body; with maturity and experience her
thesping expertise developed apace, and in such films as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
and Butterfield 8 (for which she won an Oscar) she gained wide respect. It
seemed logical that the lovely and talented Miss Taylor should want to essay
a role traditionally coveted by other gifted actresses (some past Cleos of stage
and screen: Helen Hayes in Shaw's Caesar and Cleopatra, Vivian Leigh in
the film version, ‘Tallulah Bankhead in Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra,
Claudette Colbert in DeMille’s Cleopatra). Too, there seemed an uncanny parallel
between the historical Cleo and the new pretender on her throne: Both were
renowned as young beauties, both flopped in their first two marriages (Cleo
couldn't make a go of it with either of her two kid brothers; Liz shucked
Nicky Hilton, then Michael Wilding), both were then snowed by an older Cacsar-
type who was fated to die violently (Cleo had the real McCoy, Liz the imperial
impresario, Mike Todd), both then snared new regents and were accused of
swiping them from sweet, defenseless wives (Cleo got Antony from Octavia, Liz
got Eddie Fisher from Debbie Reynolds). Despite the happy omen of such carbon
copy typecasting, Cleopatra came a cropper soon after filming began in London
in 1960; Liz first contracted meningitis, then a near-fatal case of double pneu-
monia, and the entire production had to be halted while she recuperated. This
ill-starred beginning drained Fox coffers of $5,000,000, and resulted in the
ash-canning of hundreds of thousands of feet of film. With Liz again back in
shape in the fall of 1961, cameras once more began to roll — this time in sunny
Jtaly, where Liz and husband Eddie were housed in a 14-room villa off the Appian
Way. Cleopatra then lurched forward on its costly hegira (decorative touches
like the reconstructions of the Roman Forum and Cleopatra's Alexandrine palace
near Anzio added to the general fecforall) only to run into a new kind of
trouble when Welsh actor Richard Burton was welcomed to the pyramid club to
nu.
^c
[ CLE! PATRA
КАМАК WIC Ze 703)
“за. ҮЮХ-РЕс. 15. Er
In the much discussed but hitherto unseen nude scene from Cleopatra, Elizabeth Taylor reclines regally beneath the ministering
play Mark Antony. Eddie, Liz and Richard started their triangle in friendly enough fashion, even making the night-club scene in
Rome on New Year's Eve as a threesome. Soon, however, it was rumored that Richard and Liz were pursuing their two-on-the-
Nile duet off-camera, a suspicion strikingly confirmed by Liz and Richard during late-hour dancing and nuzzling in the Eternal
City's publican pubs. (Pestered by the flash cameras of the predatory paperazzi, the two turned elsewhere for privacy,
found that where there's a villa, there's a way.) This revelation set off a Roman scandal whose repercussions were gleefully
reported by the world's press. The comedy of eros unfolded with memorable confusion: Eddie flew to Manhattan for a
84 checkup in a private psychiatric hospital, where he called reports of a marital crack-up “ridiculous and absolutely false’
hands of a masseuse and in one memorable moment of Egyptian mummery proves that she is indeed o dish fit for the gods.
Liz returned from a two-day expedition with Richard at a Tyrthenian fishing village sporting an unexplained black eye;
blonde Mrs. Sybil Burton swept into Rome with her four-year-old daughter to squelch rumors of a Sybil war. Adding to the
brouhaha of mixed-up ids was the arresting rumor that the Tiber Tigress was burning bright for yet a third party,
Cleopatra's writer-director Joseph Mankiewicz. While all of this made entertaining reading, it also aroused an outraged
chorus of protest from affronted moralists: Rome's I1 Tempo intemperately branded Liz a destroyer of families and suggested
that she be evicted from Italy as an “undesirable,” an appellation dearly open to debate. Liz was not given the boot from
the boot, however, and eventually the most expensive flick of the ages became histrionic history. (As we go to press,
85
the great Burton-Burton-who'sgot-the-Burton game has yet to reach
final resolution, though rumors of a Liz-Eddie reconciliation are heard
again in the land.) The sight of Liz fiddling while Eddie burned
aused fresh waves of panic to sweep through Fox's mogul hordes:
"Would the finished film, like Cleo, pass on to greater rewards, or would
a shocked and indignant public express its disapprobation by a box-
office boycott Some observers, like Producer Walter Wanger, feel chat
the picture has gained five dollars in publicity for every dollar it has
cost. Others remember a bit of filmflammery called Stromboli and
point out that leading lady Ingrid Bergman's much publicized,
production-stalling bearing of an illegitimate child did not prevent
the movie from being а horrendous financial dud. Whatever the
outcome, one sure financial winner is richly rewarded Liz: Her
original salary of a cool million was augmented by a hefty spell of
overtime at $50,000 a week, and further nest-feathering is in the offing
when she starts collecting her 10 percent of the gross. As Fox presi-
dent Darryl F. Zanuck and company creditors nervously await the
publics COD verdict, pLavnoy herewith pauses to contemplate the
beautiful focus of the global furor: Queen Elizabeth, filmdom's
unrivaled goddess of love.
These three exclusive phorographs of
Elizabeth Toylor were shot for PLAYBOY
by actor Roddy McDowell, a co-star
with Liz in Cleopatra and a friend of
hers since her film debut in Notional
Velvet. Reportedly omong her favorite
pictures of herself, these memorably
sensitive and seductive portraits show
Hollywood's premier love goddess
clad in а gossamer-thin nightgown
prior to the filming of the bedroom
scene in Cleopatro, and contain cause
enough for the decline and fall of the
Romon Empire along with Antony. Per-
fectly cost in the role of the Egyptian
sorceress, liz skillfully evokes the
infinite variety that spiced the life of
Coesar and Antony, succeeds in con-
firming W. Shakespeare's rhapsodic
appraisal of the original Cleo: “Other
women cloy the appetites they feed,
but she makes hungry where most she
satisfies.” Cleopatro was penned by
director Mankiewicz, who based his
story on Plutarch's biographical tomes.
Like most mole writers, Plutarch waxed
eloquent on the mystery of Cleo;
among his reflections on the barging
beauty is this pleasant notation:
“Were Antony serious or disposed to
mirth, she had ot any moment some
new delight to meet his wishes; ot
every turn she was upon him, and let
him escape her neither by doy nor by
night" Mankiewicz himself offers this
thoughtful comment on the immortal
Queen of the Nile: "Cleopatra was
not o ‘Vamp.’ She was o highly com-
plicated, intelligent woman who was
carried to great heights in her am-
bition. Elizabeth Taylor,” he odds,
“thas an understanding of this.”
PLAYBOY
88
GOLDEN FROG (continued pom page 56)
knows how many furlongs stood on end
separated us, that you were among the
ideal human persons for my purposes,
or purpose, because really I have only
one. You are an artist, a perceiving, in-
telligent individual; you are marooned
and helpless, locked up, tied, tossed,
confined, wrapped and fastened, lonely
and willing to listen. What more could
a salesman want? And that's what I am,
a salesman, a salesman on what I like
to think is the highest level: a doctrinal
salesman. 1 sell doctrine. I am the only
man in the world who can give you,
fully and cogently, the doctrine of The
Golden Frog. Oh, there are others—all
of them taught by me, mark you—who
can explain it around the edges, give
you the soup and salad of it, so to
speak, and maybe the cheese and coffee,
but for the heart of the matter, the
entree, the boeuf Massoni, 1 have to do
that myself. And it's not often that I
have the chance. It won't do for just
anyone, I have to select, and select, and
select again, and even then I'm often
wrong. I was perfectly prepared, you
know, when I climbed in that window,
to find that I'd been wrong again, and
that I'd have to sit here, mute and
helpless, and let you rant and rave over
me about bells, bore me until my skull
bones melted and ran hot out of my
ears, and I was ready to pay the price,
and God knows I loathe hearing other
people talk. But I was not wrong, I was
right, and I shall tell you everything.
“ “The Golden Frog is, naturally, not
a frog at all, but a tree toad, the com-
mon Ayla versicolor-ersicolor. Being
called a frog, if he were actually a frog
he would be of no use. He is hyla versi-
color-versicolor, and if you don't know
what he looks like, he looks like this."
“Rolt opened his hand and held it
out and there in his palm was a tiny
golden toad, as big as a quarter,
perhaps, smooth and old-looking.
"Тһе Golden Frog,’ he said, ‘is a
god, naturally you'll have guessed that.
Where he stands in the pantechnicon of
gods 1 know, of course, but I cannot
tell you—not yet, not yet. Mind you,
I don't say he is God. Mind you, I
don’t say he is not. He is The Golden
Frog. You are bright, you are clever,
you are no fool, the insane chatter of
your bell clappers hasn't beaten the wits
ош of you, по, and not even the light-
ning bolts rattling on your rooftree
here one to the minute—do you know
1 saw your blasted tower hit 10 times
tonight if it was hit once? But you're
bright, and you know that hyla versi-
color-versicolor is the tree toad, if only
because I've told you so, and you know
that the tree toad is a limpctthing and
climbs verticals and hangs to walls and
likes high places, and you'll have con-
nected that, won't you, with me coming
up the tower? And have you connected
it with you being up the tower, though
you came up, Lord knows, in a clot's
fashion, jiggling on the end of a wire
in an clevator, bouncing on a string
like a yoyo. Still, you are here, here
you are, up.
‘Nothing. He does nothing, The
Golden Frog, and that’s what he's for.
Its for us to do, don't you see? The
Golden Frog will not make my winter
тус grow 4700 feet higher than yours,
no, nor a Persian inch higher; he docsn’t
know if a sparrow falls, and he doesn’t
care, Since he will not catch you, fall-
ing, he won't let you go, either, and
that's a simple concept which I'm sure
you grasp. Let me tell you what hap-
pened to me one time, I was rock-climb-
ing, in a manner of speaking, I was
going up the south face of the Gerrs-
garten, and alone. This was before I
lived in The Frog, and I was a devotee
of the cult of Barquah, indeed for a
long time I thought that everyone
born during October of 1932 was a
Barquahniste. As you know, either
now or because I'm telling you, Barquah
had 15,000 male children, cach of whom
was a nark, or holy man, fully capable
of those inexplicable actions we are
pleased to call miracles.
"'Now, my natal nark was Tu'bip
Alem, and it was upon Tu'bip Alem
that 1 always called when I needed help,
which was often enough, lord knows.
And when that bloody piton pulled—
1 saw it pulling, the crack seemed to
open, widen, and something or some-
body inside the mountain pushed it
out-and I fell, I yelled, you сап
imagine, for Tu'bip Alem to help me.
And I had time to yell, That's a 5000-
meter drop, off the crest of the south
face at Gerrsgarten. Oh, I yelled. And
а great brown hand came down out of
the clouds and caught me and held me.
And a tremendous, booming voice, a
voice that was the topmost end, the
double-distilled distillate of every boom-
ing baritone voice since time first
whispered, this great voice boomed out
and said, in Gjindi, "Do you call Tu'bip
Alem or Tu bip Alam?" Now, as I have
said, Tu'bip Alem was my natal nark,
while Tu'bip Alam was just another of
the 15,000 to me, although no doubt
i t to those whose natal
nark he was, and to shatusa herders,
whose patron he was, but still nothing
to me. But which had caught me? How
could 1 tell in whose big brown hand I
lay? I tried to think for a split second,
and the hand tightened and began to
crush me. So 1 made the decision on
an cthical basis: honesty is the best
policy. "I called," I said, "on Tu’bip
Alem." The great brown hand opened,
and slowly, slowly turned and dropped
me. It was the hand of Tu'bip Alam,
and I was no shatusa herder.
“I interrupted him," Vanyon said.
"I told him I had heard that story
before, years before. It’s an old gag,
I told him. Usually you hear it told
about St. Francis and St. Francis of
. “I don't doubt it, he
said. ‘But you only heard it. lt hap-
pened to mer "
"Did you believe him?" Simmons
said.
"I don't know," Vanyon said. "And
it doesn't matter, because, don't you
see, you must see, the important thing
was not whether what he was saying was
true or not, the important thing was
that he was saying it. It wasnt im-
portant that the gold frog might be a
god; it was important that he obviously
did believe that it was a god. To me
Dennis Rolt was a wonder; he was a
free spirit; he was the voice of the
world as we would like to think the
world should be, a paradise of aston-
ishment and beauty. Just to hear him
made me feel that everything in my own
life, or almost everything, was dull and
hopeles. And that in spite of the fact
that I thought, as І told you before,
that Һе might be crazy, completely mad
No one could hear a man talk as he
talked without wondering if he were
sane, but still...”
“You say he made you feel that your
life was dull,” Simmons said. “You were
jealous of him?”
“Oh, yes, I suppose I was," Vanyon
said, “although that’s a very crude way
of putting it.”
“That why you killed him?" the
sergeant said softly. "Because you were
jealous of him?”
Vanyon turned. “When I first saw
you, sergeant,” he said, “I decided you
were a stupid man. I was wrong. You
aren't just stupid. You're a monument
to stupidity. In you, stupidity burrows
to a brand-new low. You ате...”
"You better watch your
buddy,” Simmons said.
The sergeant's face was burning red
and his right hand twitched rhyth-
mically and convulsively on his thigh.
"He'd better watch his," Vanyon said.
“Turn it off,” Simmons said. “Get on
with your story What was the
thing he said, Tierney, before this fuss
Patrolwoman Tierney lifted а few
accordion folds of paper from her
machine's little trough.
“ ‘Just to hear him made me feel that
everything in my own life, or almost
everything, was dull and hopeless.' " she
read.
"He went on with the story," Vanyon
said. "My cu about St. Fra
sisi didn't stop him.
(continued on page 98)
mouth,
RETROACTIVE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
playboy presents some famous folk some
firm resolves they might have made last january
DID YOU EVER THINK, while mulling resolutions for the coming year, how
the tide of history might have changed if, just a year ago, some famous
folk had made a few unusual New Year's resolutions and stuck by them?
Just for the fun of it, and with the help of 20/20 hindsight, we've done it
for them, Here’s our annual list of resolutions some famous people might
have made a year ago—but didn’t.
Liz Taylor: | will refuse to play Cleopatra — the public just wouldn't believe
me in the role of a fickle woman.
. Teddy Kennedy: I will ask not what my brother can do for me but what I can „ f
do for my brother. `
Roger Blough: After the next stec-labor bargaining session, I must remind my
good friends, Jack and Bobby, to catch my guest shot on The Price Is Right.
Barry Goldwater: In 1862 I am going to .. .
Hugh M. Hefner: I will construct a nationwide network of Show Business Illustrated
key dubs to supplement the magazine when it clicks.
Sue Lyon: I will try to be more adult in everything I do and stop acting like a child.
Lenny Bruce: I will accept the D.A.R.'s invitation to address their convention
on the subject of Love, Home, Flag, Duty, and other four-letter words.
George Lincoln Rockwell: When my friend Sir Oswald Mosley visits America,
I will help him feel at home by introducing him to the fellows at the synagogue.
Billie Sol Estes: 1 will sell my collection of famous signatures and use the money
to establish the Billie Sol Estes Good Citizenship Award so posterity will remember
who I was.
Marlon Brando: I'm going to prove once and for all that you don't need millions
of dollars to make a movic.
Governor Ross Barnett: I will demand that the Federal Government use force to
enroll my son at Tuskegee.
James H. Meredith: I'm tired of the burly-burly of the Air Force; I will devote
myself to the quiet seclusion of academic life.
Edwin A. Walker: 1 will continue to comport mysclf like a good citizen; after all,
anyone who fights the Federal Government ought to have bis bead examined.
Dwight D. Eisenhower: Once the new year begins, or gets underway — shortly after
the beginning of January or thereabouts, that is— I'd like to buy, or at least try
on, or perhaps just window-shop for, a two-button suit.
Vince Edwards: I will speak to our wardrobe mistress about fixing the top button
on my tunic—nothing looks worse than a sloppy doctor.
Frank Sinatra: Since the Democrats haven't belped me solve my personal problems,
I'm going to ask my good friend Nelson Rockefeller for some good tips on
maintaining a happy marriage.
Sophia Loren and Carlo Ponti: We will do a Mr. and Mrs. TV sbow in Rome,
sponsored by the Italian Government.
Jayne Mansfield: I'm sick of all this tasteless publicity. Mickey and 1 will take off
for a quiet holiday in the Bahamas, far from the prying eyes of the press. A relaxing
time in а small boat might be fun.
Fidel Castro: I’m going to ban baseball in Cuba because the Yankees always win.
But I'll need something to replace it... maybe a boat show.
Mickey Hargitay: I resolve to try and get Jayne a film in Italy this year. If we have
a really substantial marriage, based on mutual respect and understanding, a
husband is foolish to worry about those good-looking Italian men
PHOTOGRAPHY BY PETER GOWLAND
yy
\
^
ў
Our perky philatelist shops at her favorite stamping ground, celebrates new acquisitions with a glass of milk.
THAT DUSTY CLICHE about good things coming in small
packages was given pleasant new life for us on a
recent trek to California when we were introduced to
a petite brunette named Judi Monterey, an all-girl girl
who stands just 571” in her Capezios and whose weight
rounds off at 100 pounds. Pert Judi so impressed
us with her Playmate potential that we asked her on
the spot if she would help us start the new year in
style as our Miss January. Judi’s response, like her,
minuscule miss monterey was short and sweet: She said she'd be delighted. A
У fun-loving peach who turns 19 this month, Judi has
starts our new year aright been ripening in the California sun all her life — born
in Bell, she was raised in nearby Santa Barbara where she now lives, with roommate, in a newly constructed
apartment building. Out on her own in the warm, affable world after graduating from Santa Barbara
High, young Miss Monterey first tried working as a governess, lasted one unrewarding week (“I detest
domesticity and kids,” she says firmly, then adds, “at least for the time being”); she then found a more
logical métier modeling for the local Brooks Institute of Photography. A dedicated slugabed, she usually
chooses to snooze till noon in her white-walled bedroom, which is modernistically decorated with black
ceramic plaques, black wrought-iron stands and one large red stuffed hound dog. Afternoons she customar-
ily carries out modeling assignments, then strolls through Santa Barbara on long, lazy window-shopping
sprees, or perhaps has an obliging male take her on a top-down sight-se through the countryside.
By nightfall, Miss January's compact motor has been fully energized, and she is ready to be whisked away
to dinner (filet mignon, heavy on the mushrooms), thence to a movie (preferably with Paul Newman or
Frank Sinatra on the marquee) or the dog track (“The ones with the saddest eyes always win”), and, if
she сап wangle it, a late-in-the-date scoop of banana ice cream, On dateless nights she scrunches up in a
big leather chair to watch Casey or Dillon on TV, or catches up on her reading (she’s currently perusing
two popular tomes: The Carpetbaggers and The Fountainhead), or earnestly putters with her two-year-old
stamp collection while Sinatra or Buddy Greco croons softly from her phonograph, Judi's appealing aura
of freshness and glowing health is abetted considerably by her pet lu : Every day she indulges herself
with long and fragrant bubble baths. "Though her s ng frame (34-22-33) is admirably
mature, Judi’s youthful visage causes many to underestimate her age, a tendency she claims docs not
bother her a whit. Her chief gripe with mankind at the moment is those conceited members of the vigorous
sex who assume they are irresistible. Judi is sold on the Golden State, proves her stay-put devotion by
pointing out that she has never traveled anywhere by plane, train or boat. “Why travel,” she asks, “when
everything is right here?", a rhetorical query of unassailable logic. She admits to а warm regard for the
big-band sound of Count Basie, likes old James Dean Hicks, dancing, lobster, skating, and the kind of
a man who reads pLaynoy. We are confident the attraction is mutual.
"ing s
table-for-fra:
=
=
=n.
looking every bit the collector's item herself, January's Judi curls up with a good
book: her lovingly cared-for volume of stomps. A friend presented her with the por-
tially filled album two yeors ago and Judi took to the relaxing hobby posthoste.
Miss Monterey and a kerchiefed comrade swap girl-
tolk above an Austin Healey at o
Pacific Palisades sports-car rally. Our compact model cheerfully admits to knowing
next to nothing about cars, but is keenly interested in what mokes them go: men.
PLAY BOY’S PARTY JOKES
The convertible glided silently to a stop on a
lonely country road.
“Out of gas," he said, with a sly smile.
"Yes, I thought you might be,” said his date,
as she opened her purse and pulled out a
small hip flask.
“Say, you are a swinger,” he said. “What do
you have in there — Scotch or bourbon?”
“Gasoline,” she replied.
We know a nearsighted girl who can't tell
her friends until they're right on top of her.
My wife is always asking for money,” com-
plained a friend of ours. “Last week she
wanted $200. The day before yesterday she
asked me for $125. This morning she wanted
$150."
“That's crazy," we said. “What does she do
with it all?”
“I don't know," said our friend, "I never
give her any."
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines adoles-
cence as the age between puberty and adultery.
Noah Webster's wife, returning from a long
trip, discovered the lexicographer flagrante
delicto with a pretty chambermaid.
"Mr. Websterl" she gasped, "I am sur-
prised!"
“No, my dear,” said Webster with a re-
proving smile, "You are shocked; I am sur-
prised.”
Hoping to avoid the embarrassing attentions
that most hotels bestow on newlyweds, the
honcymooners carefully removed the rice from
their took the JusT MARRIED sign off their
car, and even scuffed their luggage to give it
that traveled look. Then, without betraying a
trace of their eagerness, they ambled casually
into Miami Beach's Fontainebleau Hotel and
up to the front desk, where the groom said in
a loud, booming voice, "We'd like a double
bed with a room.”
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines incest as
sibling revelry or a sport the whole family can
enjoy.
А young politician, eager to gather votes, ac-
cepted the invitation of a local woman's club
to speak on the subject of sex. However, fear-
ing that his wife wouldn't understand, he told
her that he planned to lecture on sailing.
А week after the speech, his wife ran into
one of the ladies of the club who mentioned
ing his talk had been.
"I just can't understand it,” said the wife,
“he knows so little about it.”
“Come now, darling, don't be coy. His talk
showed intimate acquaintance with the sub-
ject,” said the matron.
“But he's only tried it twice,” protested the
wife. “The first time he lost his hat and the
second he became seasick.”
Many a girl succeeds in keeping the wolf from
her door these days by inviting him in.
In her own eyes, Peggy was the most popular
girl in the world. “You know,” she said, with
characteristic modesty, “a lot of men are going
to be miserable when I marry.
“Really?” said her date, stifling a yawn.
“How many are you going to marry?”
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines prostitute
as a member of the fare sex.
Rustic Ron stared at the bellhop in disbelief.
“Twenty-five dollars for а girl? That's ridic-
ulous! Why, in Tennessee I can get a girl to
clean my house, wash my clothes, cook my
meals and sleep with me all night for four
pork chops a day.”
“Then what,” said the bellhop, “are you
doing in Chicago?”
“Buying pork chops.”
You are charged,” said the judge, “with the
serious offense of assault and battery upon
your husband, How do you plead?”
“Innocent,” said the shapely defendant. “1
hit him because he called me a vile name.”
“And just what did he call you?" asked the
jurist.
"It's really too terrible to repeat—he .. .
he called me a ‘two-bit whore’!
“That is bad,” said the judge. “What did
you hit him with?"
“A bag of quarters, your honor."
Heard any good ones lately? Send your favor-
ites to Party Jokes Editor, PtAvnov, 232 Е.
Ohio St., Chicago 11, Ill., and earn $25 for
each joke used. In case of duplicates, payment
goes to first received. Jokes cannot be returned.
“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”
97
PLAYBOY
GOLDEN FROG (continues pom page вв)
“There I was,’ he said, ‘dropping
like a stone down the face of the
Gerrsgarten, spurned by the great brown
hand of Tu'bip Alam. It didn't matter.
I was saved by another means, which is
not important. In point of fact, to
quiet any absurd skepticism that might
rise in you, or, rather, any additional
and absurd skepticism that might rise
in you, I will say that I was saved
bloody chance: I fell into a snowfield,
20 ruddy inches of fresh powder hanging
on the steepest slope in the Alpes
Maritimes, rolled about a kilometer
and came out, nine-tenths suffocated but
alive and with the seat in my pants,
just above the village of Voiten, and
within sight of the bar run by the
Dutchman Glauvert, and that was
where I told the story for the first time,
and that was where I left Barquah, for
good. Or for bad, who'm I to say?”
“I interrupted him," Vanyon said.
"I said, "What do you do now, when
you're not running up rock faces or
bell towers?"
“I roam about,’ he said. ‘I roam
about, and carn vast sums of money in
ways that would dazzle you, and I
make love to all the girls who will have
me, and some that won't, too, if I think
they have the understanding to be truly
grateful afterward and when people
will listen I tell them of The Frog.
J have carried the doctrine of The Frog
to odd places: Parlakimedi, which you
know, if only because I'm telling you
so, is in Madras, and Pin Hook, which
I suppose everyone knows is in Indiana
I tell them of "The Frog, the All-Know-
ing and AllSeeing and Do-Nothing
Frog who is the ultimate solution of
our mille-faceted problems. What is
the docuine of The Frog, you say,
and I say, the doctrine of The Frog is,
Send not for any other man to do, lest
you be done, and ever since For Whom
the Bell Tolls was published a pretty
pun has been possible on that sentence,
and even before that time it was pos-
sible, for a man learned in the literature
of the English language, to make and
enjoy this pun on done. As Andrew
Salter so often says in private conversa-
tion, "Why aren't you laughing, you
aren't laughing enough!" but to be
serious, you will concede that al
though "Ihe Frog speaks only once, he
speaks with sheer eloquence and with
the voice of wislom beyond plumbing,
and if you are reminded of Churchill
bare-breasted on the beaches in 1939
congratulations to you but you have
misread me. I say again, The Frog is
wise beyond wisdom, for there is no
answer beyond his answer, which is,
Do, lest you be Done. Or, reduced,
Do. This is all wisdom, boiled down,
in the great black kettle of the other
sky, the one beneath us, to one drop,
one syllable, Do, and hyla versicolor-
versicolor, when he cries, "Wh'deel
Wh'dec!" cries "Do!" in all the lan-
guages, or nearly all, of the whole
Melanee group, as I'm sure you know,
if for no other reason than that I'm
telling you so.
“Join us then, in The Frog. Carry
the voice of The Frog to a supine,
limp, flaccid, custardy world
ЕШ, Mercede ina jam pot, of people
being done, not doing. Say you'll come,
and when you do then I'll tell you
what it is to have life in The Golden
Frog, where we live in The Frog, and
Ili tell you a good many other things
that will amaze and startle you and
rouse you until your brain bubbles like
so much porridge, and your blood will
run till you hear it screaming down
your arteries and up your veins, and if
you stick a pin in your arm the stuff will
bore a hole through the ceiling and
just that will get you off, we call it
Reverse Medicine and when you live
in The Frog you need no other, and
what is тоге..."
“Ie was about there," Vanyon said,
"that he gave the door another jerk,
in passing as it were, and it opened.
We were both amazed, but there it was,
swinging open.
“AN right” Rolt said. "What's
good for one's good for the other, and
it's even money the one below is cured
as well.’ We didn't know about that,
but certainly the cabin door was free.
I still think, and he did too, that the
lightning strike had something to do
with their sticking.
“At any rate, I said to Rolt, ‘We'll go
down and look and if it's open I'll buy
the drinks.” But he said, “The bit about
the drinks is all right, but ГЇЇ go the
way I came.’ And he went over to the
window and moved out of it backward.
He hung there for a second, his elbows
hooked on the sill, just as he had when
he came in, and then he levered him-
self out and down. I remembered what
he'd said about the ladders being taken
in going down, and I wanted to talk him
into coming down with me on the
stairs, and 1 suppose he knew it because
he said, ‘Stairs are for clots, but don't
worry, The Frog will soon unclot you."
He moved differently going down, much
more slowly, and not at all rhythmically.
I watched, looking down at him. I
really don't believe he had made 10 feet,
and certainly it wasn't 15, before he
fell. I saw it all very clearly. His right
foot came loose and the sudden weight
transfer jerked his right arm loose; I
heard the fingernails of his left hand
scrabble and grate on the granite and
then he went, out backward, looking up,
all of a piece, exactly like a man going
off a high board, and instantly therc
was a great shout, "Tu'bip Alem, save
mel' and because he was now falling
so fast, the sound was altered by the
Doppler effect, you know, as when one
hears the tone of a crossing-bell change
when one's riding in a train, and the
‘save mel” was stretched out, dropping,
‘say-ay-ayve-meceel’ and then he hit.”
Miss Tierney's machine clicked briefly
as she caught up. The coffee bubbled.
“I will say one thing,” Lieutenant
Simmons said. “In 22 years on the
Force, and 10 in Homicide, that is the
damnedest story 1 ever sat down to listen
to. The damnedest.”
“Look, Mr. Vanyon,” the sergeant
said. “Now look. Here is fellow
falling 300 feet and he knows he’s going
to be dead in two seconds and hc yells
out that Tubepalum or whatever. Why?
If he's going to yell anything, for some
heathen saint to save him, and he's just
through telling you he doesn't bclicv
in that опе .. . my point is, why didn't
he yell for the tree toad, the gold frog?"
"He was making a joke," Vanyon
said.
"A joke? A joke?” Simmons said.
“The man's two seconds from a messy
end, and he's making a joke? In mid-
ай
“I think so," Vanyon said. “I think
he was saying to me, ‘You know that
when a man's dying he often reverts to
the belief he was brought up in. But
I'm doing this consciously, and satiri-
cally, and laughing, to show you that
for me it's still The Frog!
Simmons looked at the sergeant, who
was looking at him. The licutenant’s
head inclined toward the door and they
rose as onc and left without a word.
Patrolwoman Tierneys hands were
folded in her pretty lap. Since she'd
stopped working her machine, she had
been staring at Vanyon with interest.
Where this interest rose, what spurred it,
how deeply it ran, he could not know.
“I have an idea they didn't believe
me," he said. He didn't see great profit
in offering her this opening, but the
silence and her straightline regard had
become oppressive.
"Not a word," she said. "Nor did I.”
You are a dumb bitch, Vanyon said to
himself. "It was as near the absolute
truth as I could make it," he said.
"Nobody in the room believed it but
you, then," she said. She laughed. "I
think the sergeant and thc licutcnant
are only wondering how to go about
asking you some questions about i
She was right.
"Oh, there's no doubt about that at
all" Simmons was saying. "He threw
the fella out the window on his head
and that's for sure. The question is why
he did it and how we can get it out of
him. You asked him why we couldn't
(concluded on page 106)
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KONER
REGINALD ROSE eloquent writer of wrongs
THE PREVAILING MOOD of The Defenders, an admirably
articulate Saturday-evening hour of TV courtroom
drama created by adroit Reginald Rose, is one of
illuminating reflection on the causes and effects of social
justice. In his Januslike role as script editor and oft-
time writer of the program, Rose, a man of rare gifts
and discernment, has stressed a single theme: that the
law often lags behind changing social needs and is
woefully inconsistent with the requirements of morality.
His favorite situation is one in which the individual is
thwarted by the outmoded prescriptions of established
authority; and he pursues it doggedly on The Defend-
ers, where he deals with such topics as capital punish-
ment, mercy killings and abortion. By uncompromisingly
eschewing the shopworn plotlines, cardboard characters,
glib dialog and souped-up suspense that customarily
festoon so many courtroom mellers, the show already
has earned four Emmys and, despite all canons to
the contrary, has gained and retained an audience of
21,000,000 viewers. For Rose, this success has come after
30 years of fruidess trysting with his typewriter, Born
in Harlem (whose heterogencous society was the seed-
bed of his social consciousness), he began to write at
10, composed some 100 unpublished short stories and
three unfinished novels before selling his first TV script.
Today, responsible for the most respected dramatic show
on the air, he finds the cup well worth the running.
“We have proved,” he says, “that the legend of a con-
spiracy to keep thoughtprovoking drama off TV is as
empty as the heads of those who talk so much about it."
ANTHONY NEWLEY coming up in the world
PERHAPS THE Most highly touted British performer to
appear on a U.S. stage since Noel Coward’s arrival in
The Vortex in 1925 is a 31-year-old multithreat show-
man named Anthony Newley, versatile star, director,
co-author, co-lyricist and co-composer of the new Broad-
way musical, Stop the World, 1 Want to Get Off (see
Playboy After Hours, this issue). World, a seriocomic
blend of mime, melody and melodrama detailing the
womb-to-tomb Odyssey of an Everyman called Little-
chap, has had Britishers appreciatively rolling in the
isles for the past year and a half, but has drawn mixed
notices from Manhattan critics. If the ambitious pas
tiche lost something in its trans-Atla splanting,
the show made it crystal-ball clear that the Newley-
wedded blend of astute showmanship, supple versatility
and Cockney-eyed humor will be heard from again.
Plucked from London's Italia Conti Stage School at the
age of 14 by movie mogul Geoffrey de Barkus, Newley
cut his acting teeth in a starring role in a now-forgotten
epic, has since made more than twoscore film appear-
ances (most memorable: as the Artful Dodger in Oliver
Twist), conceived and acted in a controversially original
TV series (The World of Gurney Slade), and as a pop
singer has had several discs poll-vault into England's
Top 20. A man given to brooding introspection and
trenchant self-analysis, Newley is growing restless as a
stage performer: "It's a love affair — and you can't hold
a love affair for a year. More than anything else, 1
want to direct my own films. The real stuff of entertain-
ment is imagination, and we've got to get back to it
YULSMAN
SHERWOOD EGBERT cyclone in south bend
WHEN HARD-JAWED Sherwood Egbert, onetime construc-
tion worker and ex-Marine, was picked to revivify
Studebaker-Packard in February 1961, he found the
South Bend firm suffering badly from hardening of the
autories. The introduction of the Lark had been a
jative, but sales and optimism quickly
died when the Big Three flooded the compact-car
field. Egbert, as president, immediately instituted an
ennui-jarring shake-up; weak executive links were sev-
ered, the gone-to-seed plant was refurbished, the Lark
line was restyled in record time, a new Gran Turismo
Hawk went from drawing board to prototype in 1814
weeks, and in April 1962, the Raymond Loewy-designed
Avanti debuted at the Studebaker stockholders’ meet-
ing. The results produced by the 42-year-old Egbert's
whirlwind take-over have been therapeutic; with Stude-
baker's domestic sales for the 1962 model year up almost
50 percent over 1961, South Bend feels that at last it
can give Detroit car makers a real fight for the Amer-
ican auto dollar. Pushing diversification (home appli-
nces, an airline, chemicals), Egbert also had a few
more automotive tricks up his sleeve: he introduced
in the 1968 line the Wagonaire, a revolutionary sli
top station wagon, and put future Studebaker designs
up for competition between the Avanti's Loewy and
Wagonaire’s Brooks Stevens. Egbert, supercharged and
steelnerved ("1 have no personal emotions when it
comes to business”), occasionally co-pilots the company
plane, is determined to get Studebaker off the ground.
‘Those who know him have no doubts that he can do it.
105
PLAYBOY
106
GOLDEN FROG (continued from page $8)
find the gold toad he says Rolt had?”
“I asked him," the sergeant said. “The
body was so near clean, you know. The
$200-odd dollars, and not another thing,
not a wallet, not a letter, not so much
as a laundry ticket, and no gold toad,
either. He said it must have fallen out
of Rolt's pocket on the way down, and
it was either lost in the grass or buried
under him, or somebody picked it up
before the squad car got there."
"Doesn't the dumb bastard know that
the toad being missing ruins his story?"
“I told him that. I told him if we
had the toad there'd be a different face
on the matter. He said if we had the
toad it would wind up on some alder-
man's watch charm, but it didn't matter
because it was lost and nobody had it”
"He deny he was the first man to the
body?"
“Oh, no. He admitted that. He ran
down the stairs, the door opened all
nice and proper and he went out.”
“That door business. That takes
brass, a lie like thai
“It does. Well, lieutenant, with all
respect I got to say that you and I are
a poor bet to get anywhere arguing with
this joker. The old way is the best way,
I always say, and an hour would do it,
too, with this one. He'd cave in in a
hurry, this one would.”
“I believe you. But there’s hell to
pay if you get caught working over any
of these eggheads. This is no bum
from West Ninth Street. You let a
college professor trip and fall against
the wall a couple of times and you're
liable to get hauled up in front of
Congress. ‘Gestapo’ is what they'll call
you. You'll get famous on television."
"'Cossack' I like better than ‘Ge
Stapo, " the sergeant said, "and I been
called both. Look, he's got to prove it,
right? I give you my word, 1 won't put
а mark on him, and I'll have him dictat-
ing a statement in 30 minutes flat.”
“I have to go upstairs and see
McGuire,” the lieutenant said. “I don’t
know anything about anything.”
“That's OK with me,” the sergeant
said. He walked briskly from the room.
“Mr. Vanyon,” he said. “will you just
come with me? Will you come too,
Tierney?"
Miss Tierney smiled with what
seemed to Vanyon to be real warmth.
“ОГ course," she said.
Jt was au hour later, or an hour and
a bit, and by no chance, that Lieutenant
Simmons saw Patrolwoman Tierney
coming up the stairs. She was carrying
the tools of her trade. She was ever so
little damp. as if someone had blown at
her head through a Japanese flower-
wetter, the kind that makes a mist.
“Well?” Simmons said.
"Not a word out of him," she said.
“Tom tried everything he could, and
J tried a couple of things, and we tried
a couple together, but it was no go. Of
course, we were being careful of the
bastard, but сусп so, he should have
caved in. He didn't. The man came
up the wall, he says, and fell off of it”
"Where's Vanyon now?" Simmons sai
“Tom's putting his clothes on him,”
Miss Tierney said. "He's all right. He
can't walk, he's swollen in a couple of
places, you know, but by morning he'll
be OK."
Simmons saw him in the morning.
"You know what happened to me?"
Vanyon said.
"Nothing happened to you," Sim-
mons said. "But something will, if you
open your big yap. Two things will
happen to you. First, you'll get arrested.
if you spit on the sidewalk, and you'll
get arrested if you don't. Second, you'll
have an accident, and nothing trivial,
either. So shut up. You killed a man!”
“You know goddamned well I didn‘
“You did. And you look like you're
getting away with it, for the time being,
and maybe for longer, although that I
doubt. But nothing happened to you,
and you'll do well to remember it. You
can pick up your hat and get out of here,
and they'll tell you at the desk where
you can go and where you can't, pending
the inquest and so on and so on.”
Vanyon looked around for Patrol-
woman Tierney on his way through the
station house to the street, but he was
not really sure he wanted to see her
again, ever. Crouching naked to her
ingenuity and the sergeant’s iron-hard
brutality, he had been frightened al-
most beyond endurance, so that he
wondered why consciousness did not
leave him. He had endured what they
did only because he had no alternative:
he was not completely craven and so he
could not or would not put an end to
the agony by saying he had killed Rolt
when he had not; there was no other
door he could open. Not much later on,
he would be able to convince himself
that he had maintained his will against
theirs because he was standing in the
light that Dennis Rolt had cast, stand-
ing in the reflected glow of The Frog.
For now, it was enough to think that
the red-haired girl and the dough-faced
sergeant had martyred him, but left him
living. In fact, he thought, if Rolt was
the prophet, what might Vanyon be?
The eight o'dock program of that
morning was the first he had missed in
a long time. and he felt badly about it,
as if the fault were somehow his. He
was on the street at a little after 11 and.
he took a taxi to the tower. Two
groundkeepers were sewing squares of
turf at the foot of the tower, and 30 or
40 students were watchi them.
Nobody recognized Vanyon and he was
quick with the door. He threw the inner
bolt, something he had never done
before, and looked carefull
He got into the elevator cab
the top button. He was lifted slowly
up the damp inner wall, in silence cx-
cept for the whine of the electric motor
and its gears high above. He swung
the playing-cabin door to and fro. It
did not seem to be free and easy in the
jamb, as he remembered it, neither did
it stick. He left it open. Jt was hard
for him to dimb the short ladder to
the bell chamber, but he made it.
When he had opened one set of louvers
he realized that he was so sore and stiff
he would not be able to play, and he
dosed them again as soon as he was
sure that there was no one hiding in
the dark places behind the bells. He
crawled back down the ladder. He sat
on the bench, where he had been sitting
the night before, watching Rolt storm
to and fro, and it was casy for him to
think that the mad and tantalizing tor-
rent of the dead man’s words still rang
in the room. Sometimes, in the bell
chamber, he would touch the rim of a
bell with a half dollar, to hear the hum
of it run on until you couldn't be sure
if the sound had ended or not, and he
thought he could hear Rolt’s voice in
the same way. He sat in the playing
cabin for a long time. Going down in
the elevator he looked carefully all
around, At the door he turned out the
lights. The windows in the tower were
narrow, they were archers’ slits really,
the lowest of them 30 feet from the
ground. No one could see him. He
went to the corner of the tower farthest
from the elevator, where the steam
pipes came through the floor. He knelt
there for a moment, then moved to the
center of the floor, where a shaft of
light angled down. He opened his hand
and looked at the little frog he had
lifted from its hiding place behind the
duster of pipes It was heavy and
smooth and golden. He had it now,
and he would keep it. It lay heavy on
his hand, so heavy, so solid that it
seemed a part of him. He remembered,
he believed, every word Rolt had
spoken, and it was casy for him to recall
the two places where Rolt said he had
been: Pin Hook, Indiana, and Parla-
kimedi in Madras. “I have carried the
doctrine of The Frog to odd places .
He dropped the rounded lump of gold
into a pocket of his jacket. He un-
latched the door and went out. The
groundkeepers had finished their work,
and the students had gone away. A hot
sun hung in a windless sky. He turned
to look at the tower. He knew that he
would never sce it again, that he would
never come back to it.
TO BE COURTEOUS TO WOMEN
fiction By William Saroyan
this was paramount among the things he had to do to bridge the gap between the tax bite and his muse
AS THEY WALKED, they talked. “Do you
know what I like about our Govern-
ment? I like its nickname, Uncle Silly.”
“Can I quote you?”
“Why по”
“I mean. it might make trouble for
you — more trouble, that is — although
it would make a livelier story, too.”
“Anything I say you can quote, There
is no off-the-record with me. Just because
I owe Uncle Silly a lot of money doesn't
mean I've got to call him Uncle Sam."
How much do you owe?”
^I haven't got the exact figures, but
I think it's somewhere in the hbor-
hood of $11.000,000, or 11,000,000 but
tons, or 11,000,000 something or other.”
"How do you expect to make the
money?”
“I'm on my way to Ya
and you know who he i
сеу right now,
1 presume.”
“I do. Or at any rate I know who he
was. He was the white haired boy of the
movie business until six or seven years
ago. He was the producer of a lot of
great movies, and two or three times as
many stinkers. He's still producing for
the same lot, working out of Paris. Do
you think he'll ever make a comeback?”
“A comeback to what?”
"Do you think he'll ever make a great
movie again?”
“Why do you imagine he might not?”
he hasn't made one in six or
and how much time do
“Two minutes?”
“How do you mean? Two minutes?”
"Doesn't a thing like that have to be-
"5 how I mean. Isn't it a matter of
always having the makings of greamess
[a lie if there ever was one, what we
mean is only a seeming greatness, a kind
of impression or illusion of relative su-
periority rather than of actual greatness]
on hand, in yourself, after which all you
have got to do is decide to do something,
and almost anything will do, it will have
to have this quality of relative superiority
because you yourself have it all the time,
and you just don’t need any more time
than the time it takes to decide to do
something.”
"Do you mean, then, that Yancey
hasn't got this quality, or that he never
had it, or that he had it now and then
for a while, and then lost iR”
“Is this interview about Yancey?"
“Wall, no, but you said you're on your
way to an appointment with him, and
you presumed I know who he is. Well,
who is he,
(continued on page 157) 307
PLAYBOY
“Well, kid, we're not identical twins anymore!”
-AMANS WORLD
a conservative's view By WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR.
I welcome Mr. Mailer’s interest in the American Right Wing. On behalf of the Right Wing let
me say that we, in turn, are interested in Mr. Mailer, and look forward to co-existence and cultural
exchanges with him in the years to come. I hope we can maintain his interest, though I confess to
certain misgivings. I am not sure we have enough sexual neuroses for him. But if we have any at all,
no doubt he will find them, and celebrate them if not here tonight, certainly in a forthcoming
political tract, perhaps in his sequel to the essay in which he gave to a world tormented by an
` inexact knowledge of the causes of tension between the Negro and the white races in the South,
the long-awaited answer, namely that all Southern politics reflects the white man’s resentment of
the superior sexual potency of the Negro male. Mr. Mailer took his thesis—easily the most endear-
ing thing he has ever done—to Mrs. Eleanor Roosevelt, to ask her benediction upon it. She replied
that the thesis was “horrible,” thus filling Mr. Mailer with such fierce delight that he has never
ceased describing her reaction, commenting that he must be responsible for the very first use of
that overwrought word by that lady in her long, and very talkative, career. {“ОҺ how we
shall scarify!” the dilettante Englishman reported to his friends a hundred years ago, on
announcing that he had finally put together the money with which to start a weekly mag-
azine. How Mr. Mailer loves to scarify!—and- how happy I am that he means to do
so at my expense. Not only do I not know anyone whose dismay is more fetchingly put
down, I do not know anyone whose dismay I personally covet more; because it is clear
from reading the works of Mr. Mailer that only
demonstrations of human swinishness are
truly pleasing to him, truly confirm his
vision of a world gone square. Pleasant
people, like those of us on the Right Wing,
drive him mad, and leech his genius.
Recently he has confessed that it is all he can do to stoke his
anger nowadays, and he needs that anger sorely to fire his
artistic furnace. The world, if it truly appreciates Norman
Mailer, must be a cad; how else will he get to be President? For
Mr. Mailer, to use his own phrase, has been “running for
President for 10 years." He means by that he wants the world to
acknowledge him as the principal writer of our day. Número uno,
the unchallenged, unchallengeable matador of all time, the big-
gest bullkiller since Theseus; and so those of you who wish him to
be President must confirm his darkest thoughts and suspicions
about you, so that he may give birth to that novel of outrage—
which, he gloats, will be, “if I can do it, an unpublishable
work." Those few of us who are neither running for President,
nor are needed to preserve the hideousness of this world so as
to fatten Mr. Mailer’s muse, are assigned by him the task of
cultivating “the passion for socialism,” which Mr. Mailer
finds “the only meaning I can conceive in the lives of those
who are not artists." Mr. Mailer is a socialist of sorts,
but if socialism is not his first passion, that is only be-
cause, in his capacity as an artist, he is exempt from
ideological servitude. The rest of the world is divided,
as I say, in two groups. First the great majority of us,
who compose that terrible world he wants to write a novel
about so great—so great that Marx and Freud themselves
would want to read it, for they would recognize in it, says
Mr. Mailer, a work that “carries what they had to tell y
another part of the way." Those others of us with whom he is
a liberals view By NORMAN MAILER
Would you care to hear a story Robert Welch likes to tell? f “Тһе minister has preached a
superb sermon. It has moved his congregation to lead nobler and more righteous lives. Then the
minister says, “Chat, of course, was the Lord's side. For the next half hour, to be fair, ГЇЇ give
equal time to the Devil” " $ Well, ladies and gentlemen, upon me has fallen the unhappy
task of following Mr. Buckley. Mr. Buckley was so convincing in his speech that if I had not been
forewarned that the Devil cannot know how far he has fallen from Paradise, I would most cer-
tainly have decided Mr. Buckley was an angel. A dishonest angel, perhaps, but then which noble
speaker is not? © I did not come here, however, to give Mr. Buckley compliments. I appear,
presumably, to discuss the real meaning of the Right Wing in America, a phenomenon which
is not necessarily real in its meaning, for the Right Wing covers a spectrum bf opinion as wide
as the peculiarities one encounters on the Left. If we of the Left are a family of anarchists and
Communists, socialists, pacifists, nihilists, beatniks, international spies, terrorists, hipsters and
Bowery bums, secret agents, dope addicts, sex maniacs and scholarly professors, what indeed is
onc to make of the Right, which includes the president of a corporation or the Anglican head-
master of a preparatory school, intellectually attired in the fine ideas of Edmund Burke, down
the road to the Eisenhower-is-a~-Communist set of arguments, all the way down the
road to an American Nazi like George Lincoln Rockwell, or to the sort of conserva-
tives who attack property with bombs in California, On a
vastly more modest and civilized scale, Mr.
Buckley may commit a mild mayhem on
the American sense of reality when he
says McCarthy inaugurated no reign of
terror, Perhaps, I say, it was someone
else, f| But it is easy to mock the Right
Wing. I would rather put the best face one can on it. I
think there are any number of interesting adolescents and
young men and women going to school now who find them-
selves drawn to the Right. Secretly drawn. Some are drawn
to conservatism today much as they might have been attracted
to the Left 30 years ago. They are the ones who are curious for
freedom, the freedom not only to make moncy but the freedom
to discover their own nature, to discover good and to discover
—dare I say it?—evil. At bottom they are ready to go to war
with a ready-made world which they feel is stifling them.
T I hope it is evident that I do not see the people in the Right
Wing as a simple group of fanatics, but rather as a contradictory
stew of reactionaries and individualists, of fascists and liber-
tarians, libertarians like John Dos Passos for example. It could
be said that most Right Wingers don’t really know what they
want. I would not include Mr. Buckley in this category, but I
think it can be said the politics of the Right in America reflects
an emotion more than an insight. { I think of a story told
me by a Southerner about his aunt. She lived in a small
town in South Carolina. She was a spinster. She came
from one of the better families in town, Not surprisingly,
the house where she lived had been in the family for a
long time. She loved the trees on the walk which bordered
each side of the street which ran by her house. They were
very old trees. T The City Council passed a bill to cut
down those trees. The street had to be widened. A bypass
from the highway was being constructed around the old
BUCKLEY a peace will want to labor for
socialism, he tells us; we will “want a socialist world
not because we have the conceit that men would
thereby be more happy — but because we feel the
mora] imperative in life itself to raise the human
condition even if this should ultimately mean no
more than that man’s suffering has been lifted to a
higher level, and human history has only progressed
from melodrama, farce and monstrosity to tragedy
itself.”
Not very long after writing that sentence, Mr.
Mailer and a dozen others, including several other
Presidential candidates, signed an advertisement in
papers throughout the country under the sponsorship
of a group that called itself the Fair Play for Cuba
Committee. “The witch-hunting press,” the advertise-
ment said in almost as many words, “is suggesting
that Castro's great democratic revolution is contami-
nated by Communism. That is hysterical and fascistic
nonsense.” One or two signers of that petition —
Kenneth Tynan, the English critic, was one — were
subsequently called before a Congressional investi-
gating committee and asked what they knew about
the sponsorship of the Fair Play Committee. To
Mr. Mailer's eternal mortification, he was not called,
thus feeding what Time magazine has identified as
Norman Mailer's subpoena envy. Anyway, it tran-
spired that the organizer of that Committee was a
paid agent of Fidel Castro, who even then was an
unpaid agent of the Soviet Union. The insiders no
doubt found it enormously amusing to be able to
deploy with such ease some of the most conceited
artists in the world behind the Communists’ grisly
little hoax. There is melodrama in a Norman Mailer
rushing forward to thrust his vital frame between
the American public and a true understanding of the
march of events in Cuba; there is even farce in the
easy victimization of Mr. Skeptic himself by a silent-
screen ideological con man; and it is always mon-
strous to argue aggressively the truth of the Big Lie.
But I think the episode was less any one of these
things than an act of tragedy, though without dire
consequence for the players — they are strikingly im-
penitent, insouciant — but for others. The people of
Cuba are also writing a book that carries forward
the ideas of Marx and Freud, a truly unpublishable
book. Their suffering, for which Mr. Mailer bears
a part of the moral responsibility, they must endure
without the means to sublimate; they are not artists,
who count their travail as a steppingstone to the
Presidency.
Consider this. Last spring a middle-aged Cuban
carpenter, known to persons I know, received notice
at his three-room cottage on the outskirts of Havana
at five o'clock one afternoon that at nine the next
morning his 12-year-old son would be taken from
him to be schooled in the Soviet Union during the
next six years. The father, who had never concerned
himself with politics, asked if his son might not, as
an only child, be spared. (continued on page 165)
LER bypass of the business district. The
reason for the new bypass was to create a new busi-
ness district: a supermarket, a superpharmacy, a su-
perservice station, a chromium-plated diner, a new
cemetery with plastic tombstones, a new armory for
the Army Reserve, an auto supply store, a farm im-
plements shop, a store for Venetian blinds, a Jaundro-
mat and an information booth for tourists who would
miss the town on the new bypass but could read
about it in the Chamber of Commerce's literature
as they drove on to Florida.
Well, the old lady fought the bypass. To her, it
was sacrilege that these trees be cut down. She felt
that if there were any value to some older notions
of grace and courtesy, courage under duress, and
gallantry to ladies, of faith in God and the struc-
ture of His ways, that if there were any value at
all to chivalry, tradition and manners, the children
of the new generations could come to find it more
naturally by walking down an avenue of old homes
and trees than by reading the National Review in
front of the picture window under the metal awn-
ing of the brand-new town library. Secretly the
old lady had some radical notions. She seemed to
think that the old street and the trees on this old
street were the property of everyone in the town,
because everyone in the town could have the pleasure
of walking down that street. At her gloomiest she
even used to think that a new generation of Negroes
growing up in the town, strong, hostile, too smart,
and just loaded with Northern ideas, would hate
the South forever and never forgive the past once
the past was destroyed. If.they grew up on the edge
of brand-new bypasses in cement-brick homes with
asbestos roofs and squatty hothouse bushes in the
artificial fertilizer of the front yard, why then, how
could they ever come to understand that not every-
one in the old South was altogether evil and that
there had been many whites who learned much from
the Negro and loved him, that it was Negro slaves
who had first planted these wees, and that it was
Negro love of all that grew well which had set the
trunks of these trees growing in so straight a route
right into the air.
So the old lady fought the execution of these old
trees. She went to see the Mayor, she talked to every-
one on the City Council, she circulated a petition
among her neighbors, she proceeded to be so active
in the defense of these trees that many people in
town began to think she was just naturally showing
her age. Finally, her nephew took her aside. It was
impossible to stop the bypass, he explained to her,
because there was a man in town who had his heart
set on it, and no one in town was powerful enough
to stop this man. Not on a matter so special as
these trees.
Who was this powerful and villainous man? Who
would destroy the beauty of a fine old street? she
wanted to know. Was it a Communist? No. Was it
the leader for the (continued on page 165)
By J. PAUL GETTY
Tu MILLIONAIRE ШЕШН
THOSE TRAITS OF MIND THAT CHARACTERIZE
THE MAN OF WEALTH, ACTUAL OR POTENTIAL
MANY YEARS AGO, I HIRED A MAN — call him George Miller, it’s close enough — to superintend
operations on some oil properties I owned outside Los Angeles, California. He was an honest,
hardworking individual. He knew the oil business. His salary was commensurate with the re-
sponsibilities of his position, and he seemed entirely satisfied with both his job and the pay he
received. Yet, whenever I visited the properties and inspected the drilling sites, rigs and pro-
ducing wells, I invariably noted things I felt were being done in wrong or inefficient ways.
"There were too many people on the payroll, and there weren't adequate controls over costs.
Certain types of work were being done too slowly; others were being performed too rapidly and
hence without proper care. Some equipment items were being overstocked while there were
shortages of others.
As for George Miller himself, I felt he was spending too much time doing administrative
work in the Los Angeles office and not enough out in the field — on the drilling sites and rigs.
Consequently, he wasn't able to exercise the necessary degree of direct personal supervision over
the operations.
AII these things served to keep costs high, to slow production and hold down profits, But I
liked Miller and was certain that he possessed all the qualifications of a top-notch superintendent.
After some weeks, I had a man-to-man talk with him. I informed George bluntly that I thought
there was considerable room for improvement in the manner in which he was handling his job.
“It's funny, but I need only to spend an hour on one of the sites, and I spot several things
we could do better or cheaper and increase production and profits," I told him. “Frankly, J just
can't understand why you don't sce them, too.”
"But you own the properties," the superintendent declared. "You have a direct personal
interest in everything that happens on or to them. "That's enough to sharpen any man's eyes to
ways of saving — and thereby making — more money."
Truth to tell, Га never thought of it in quite that way before. I mulled over what George
said for several days and then decided to try an experiment. I had another talk with Miller.
"Look, George. Suppose I farm the properties out to you," I suggested. "Instead of paying
you a salary, I'll give you a percentage of the profits. The more efficient our operations, the bigger
those profits will be — and the more money you'll make.”
Miller gave the proposition some thought and then accepted the offer enthusiastically.
The change was immediate — and little short of miraculous. As soon as George realized
that he, too, had a “direct personal interest" in the properties he really hit his stride. No longer
merely a salaried employee, the superintendent became keenly concerned with cutting costs,
boosting production and increasing the profits in which he was to share. He viewed operations on
the drilling and well sites in an entirely different light, instantly recognizing — and correcting —
faults which had theretofore eluded him.
Miller shucked unnecessary personnel from the payroll, pared operating expenses to the
bone and used his considerable native ingenuity to devise better methods for getting the work
done. Where he'd previously spent two and sometimes three days each week in the Los Angeles
office, he now made only brief appearances there once or twice a month (continued on page 160)
behind the scenes
of the liston-
patterson fight
By GERALD KERSH
APART FROM priests and law-
yers, anybody who claims to
have had heart-to-heart con-
versation with Sonny Liston
i her a yentriloquist or
a liar. He has no inclination
to talk and if he had he
couldn't. Hence, practically
every word he has ever said
in public has been taken
down and treasured, quoted
and requoted. “All Г want
is a referee who can count
past eight” has been trans-
lated into 36 languages. So
has "In this business you go
into the ring to beat the
other fellow.” As for “Caw-
fee? You go ask Patterson
for cawfee. I ain't got no
cawfee. I can't afford no
caw[ee. You ask Patterson
for cawfee!” — that swept
the world. It was one of the
longest speeches Liston had
ever made, and there was
passion in it; some said a
kind of wild poetry.
It was Frank Mastro of
the Chicago Tribune who
inspired it, out at Aurora
Downs where Liston's camp
was. Liston was in form that
day. Something was goading
him to the bitter eloquence
of resentment. A Boston re-
porter asked him what size
socks he took. Liston re-
plied, "Large"; all made
a careful note of that. “And
how big is your neck?”
“Eighteen and a half.” "So
what size collar do you
take?” — “Same as my neck.”
I said, “One consolation:
the anatomy and mystique of championship boxing
By BUDD SCHULBERG
THE CONTEST BETWEEN the heavyweight champion of the world and his
logical challenger has drawn me to ringside since the days when Joe Louis
was taking his first giant steps. 1 flew from California to New York in the
slow prop days to watch Billy Conn move smartly around the impassive
Bomber, with upset fever mounting until the champion caught up with
the cocky light heavyweight from Pittsburgh in the 13th round. Prizcfighting
is a brutal sport; 1 have been involved in a love-hate relationship with it
since my childhood days when I kept scrapbooks of my boxing idols, Benny
Leonard, Fidel La Barba, the Negro mammoth George Godfrey, Mushy
Callahan, whose autographed boxing gloves hung in a place of honor over
my bed after he defeated the West Coast Battling Nelson, Ace Hudkins,
destroyer of Ruby Goldstein.
Prizefighters and prizefighting have been part of my life all the way back
to a frustrated small-boy evening when my father tried to ease me into the
Benny Leonard-Ritchie Mitchell lightweight championship fight at the
old Garden that lived on Madison Square. An outraged uniform insisted
that prizefights were off limits to children and ordered me home to bed
posthaste. Over the years I found myself meeting and making friends with
fighters more easily than with, say, fellow writers or actors. When Rocky
KERSH We've got to see you fight, but you
don't have to read what we write.”
Liston bawled, “Joe! Joe! Talk to this feller!” —
and a man in a T-shirt came and showed me his biceps.
His right arm was his visiting card; his name was
tattooed there, so that when he put the muscle up his
name, Jos. Polino, sprang into view. “No,” said he,
“we don’t read what you write.” And since this was
evidently meant to be funny, all laughed except Frank
Mastro, who was possessed by a seething indignation.
It wasn't the cup of coffee, or the lack of it, that got
him, he said — it was the principle of the thing. And
he didn't like the general atmosphere. Wherever you
turned, there were policemen with guns on their
hips; dark, sideways-looking men. It just wasn’t good
enough. And it would be a long cool day in hell before
Mastro forgot the way Jack Nilon ordered him out
of the ring when Liston was punching the bag a little
while earlier. "Get out!" — like that.
I said, "Well, after all, Nilon owns Liston.”
"I've been in the fight game 30 years," said Frank,
"] was in it in the days when
it was illegal. I didn't have no
Polino to bandage my hands.
I wore an old pair of kid
gloves with the fingers cut off.
I fought as often as three
times in one night . . .”
“Гуе got to talk to Nilon,”
I said.
But this is easier said than
done. Although the rest of us
remained in Chicago, await-
ing the fight, Nilon had gone
back to Philadelphia. You
couldn't get within 40 feet of
Liston. Dead silent and com-
pletely still, robed and cowled,
his eyes rolled up and his
mouth drawn down, he sat at
a little table in the empty
hall. Tiny and frightened, his
wife sat near him. She, too,
had nothing whatever to say.
All approaches to them were
barred. Nervous with the р
cares of his office, Polino, hand- Š
taper, towel-holder, gentleman
of the scanty wardrobe, waved
us away, shouting, “Back
there, back there! Your place
is back there! Not here, back
there!”
A big detective eased his
holster on his hip and looked
at us long and hard.
“Let's get the hell out of
this,” Mastro said.
“I want to get hold of Jack
Nilon.”
(continued on page 146)
SCHULBERG Marciano was getting ready to
defend against Ezzard Charles, I would sit around his
Grossinger's farmhouse with him swapping stories or
talking everything from fights to films to religion.
Rocky could concentrate on his training sessions as
single-mindedly as Sonny Liston, but he had an engag-
ing, disarmingly intellectual curiosity.
Unlike the recent participants in the most farcical
dethronement in the history of the heavyweight divi-
sion — Sonny (as in a storm cloud) Liston and Floyd
(innerthink) Patterson — Rocky seemed to enjoy his
meetings with the press. Archie Moore wallowed in
them with uninhibited multisyllabic joy. Pros like
Ezard Charles and Jersey Joe Walcott accepted them
as part of their paynight obligations. Upstart Cassius
Marcellus Clay could have written — or at least dictated
— Advertisements for Myself if Norman Mailer, noted
writer and would-be fighter, had not beaten him to it.
But Sonny Liston and Floyd Patterson, as they pre-
pared for what one of the myriad promoters described
as “Boxing's Moon Shot the biggest boost the
fight game ever received,” tol-
erated the press with an un-
precedented hostility, politely
veiled by the tormented, for-
ever insecure Floyd Patterson,
impolitely unveiled by Sonny
Liston, a man steeped in
violence, who may be kind to
his wife and fond of dogs and
small children, but who
punches into his outweighed
sparring partners as if they
were the sad, expendable hu-
man chattels they are.
The new champion says his
idol is Joe Louis. Here he has
chosen well. Boxing is a slum
sport, born of poverty and a
terrible need to break out of
the hungry cellar of the have-
nots, into the daylight of the
wanted and the heeled, It is
still the only way the poor,
lost bottom dog, once the Irish,
the Jew, the Italian, now the
Negro and tomorrow the
Puerto Rican, can fight his
way up from overcrowded
and broken homes, illiteracy,
the delinquent gangs that
become his true family, his
streetcorner classrooms. Prize-
fighting to our North Ameri-
can society is what bullfighting
is to the Spanish and the Mex-
ican, the one escape hatch to
fame and fortune and respect-
ability for the child forsaken.
(continued on page 136)
By PHILIP WYLIE
THE CAREER WOMAN
momism’s corrosive critic dissects another deadly menace
WHEN THE HISTORY OF THE WESTERN WORLD is finally written — that is, if anybody survives to set
it down — one type of person will be noted as the perfect symbol, if not a major cause, of the
dreadful and ridiculous dilemma of this age of cowed men and bullish women. That figure will
be no ruling male, no president, hero, genius, statesman, athlete or other such pants-wearing
Influence as has usually swayed the tides of human affairs. It will be a woman, a woman of a
special kind — if the term woman may be stretched beyond natural compass to include sub-
humanoids whose main function is to sabotage sexuality.
The name we give these pseudobroads refers to a single aspect of them all: the fact that
they have achieved commercial success in our society. Usually, that success lies in the general
category of industry, commerce and business enterprise. This special breed may include females
in the arts and professions, but it is mainly composed of executive brass — front-runners and
she-mahouts in what we call the rat-race. Our name for them is career women.
Legend and ancient history, art and letters have always endeavored to warn noble and
aspiring males against career tendencies in the other sex. Pandora, for instance, was a career
woman who — in an act characteristic of the mink-bearing dragons of our times — disregarded
taboo and opened a chest to satisfy her greedy curiosity, thereby setting loose all the ills of
humanity. Other symbolic precursors of today’s career women include the Harpies, Circe and
Medusa, whose business enterprises were dedicated, respectively, to robbing strong men of their
food, changing heroes into animals and turning men to stone,
Again, one finds in Judeo-Christian literature a multitude of prophetic examples. Consider
Delilah and Salome, a pair of Miss Asia Minors who used their sex appeal to advance political
and industrial aims — at considerable cost to those males who would impede them. The Salome
story is especially apt, inasmuch as the twisting doll not only got her man beheaded (at the behest
of her unsavory mom) but, exactly like her numerous sisters of the present day, she afterward
danced in proud, imbecilic ecstasy at her triumph.
With such clear lessons embossed on the record it is saddening to observe that American
men have not only neglected to heed them, but have also failed to note that hordes of such
girl-guillotiners have now risen to lofty status in our midst. Some idea of the extent of milady’s
invasion of occupation territory may be gleaned from the 1962 World Almanac's breakdown
of job groups by sex: Under the once masculine-oriented category of “Managers, officials and
proprietors, except farm,” a numbing total of 1,082,000 females is listed (as against 5,771,000
XE: males); under the general category
of “Professional, technical and kindred workers” the
chilling ratio is 2,448,000 women to 4,753,000 men.
Today, only a militant minority of alarmed males
stands ready to combat this deadly encroachment;
only a few recognize the unnerving but verifiable fact
that we are now guided in our everyday lives almost
as much by Gorgons as by Congress or Kennedy.
If this appraisal seems, on casual reading, unwar-
ranted, let the reader contemplate for a moment what
it is that career women do. Where do they operate?
In what areas of enterprise are they most numerous
and powerful? Whom do they affect — and how?
They are, of course, the sachems of style and fiefs
of fashion. They edit, co-edit or subedit the churning
flux of women's magazines which, in turn, point the
eyes (and ears, noses, heads and grabby arms) of
mom, sis, auntie and grandma at What to Buy next,
What to Do next, Where to Go, and so forth ad
nauseam. As every man knows—and most unthink-
ingly accept — career women abound in a yet more
directive and managerial field, that of advertising.
Career women, perfumed pirates and inflated igno-
ramuses, have also set themselves up publicly as sages,
and in endless syndicated columns undertake to
resolve, with a flaccid flutter of their mindless minds,
problems from irresolute and baffled men — problems
that Solomon wouldn't have touched after months of
meditation.
Indeed, nearly all our American media of so-called
communication are so strongly influenced by these
Harpies and Medusas that most citizens under 50
years of age are not aware that there ever was a time
when the sweet, sticky, claw-tipped fingers of females
did not model or remodel, provide or withhold much
of what we read, hear on radio and behold on TV.
Consider, as the evidence, any big-city newspaper.
Newspapers, at one time, were written, set in type
and distributed with primarily a male audience in
mind. They were dedicated to the purveying of solid
news and to sober (or witty) intellectual editorializ-
ing about the state and shape of the world. Such
advertising as they contained was addressed to men —
who, then, were America's purchasers — and not one
ad had ever been censored, let alone “created” by any
chrome-plated, high-heeled (and higher-handed) indi-
vidual who was a woman only in that a post-mortem
would show her to own the physical organs of the
female.
Look now, however, at the newspaper. More than
half of it, providing it’s a successful journal, will
consist of advertisements, of which 99 inches in every
100 will be aimed at women, who have become the
American purchasers. For male newspaper readers
there is, still, some news and a sports section. But the
latter, nowadays, is likely to be smaller than another
called "Woman's Pages" and still another called
"Society News" and perhaps a third, called "Home
Section" — а perusal of which will leave the investi-
gator aware of the strange fact that, in America,
"Home" must be a place inhabited by women and
children only, and run for them, by them. Indeed,
the control exerted over us in this and kindred ways
by career women has reached chilling proportions.
What has wrought this reversal, this female ascend-
ancy, this daily Krakatoa of candied crap?
"The career woman.
What is she like?
Chic. That, always. Hat-bearing: A hat is, for her,
what a miter is for a Pope, a crown for a Caesar.
High-heeled. Suit-wearing. Middle-aged: It takes time
to turn a girl into an ogre. Middle-aged, like mom,
that vapid great-busted goddess of a castrated conti-
nent. But incalculably more destructive. Beside her,
mom and momhood are an absolute delight — in
terms of basic motivation, misguided though it is.
She can be attractive, even — though rarely — beau-
tiful. Demonstrably, there are in business today many
svelte, charming, chic, sexy women — but the man
who is sharp of eye can detect in nearly all of them.
the signs of burgeoning harridanism, and perceive
premonitions of the hardening horror that is yet to
be. Such a man must instantly be on the alert, for
most dedicated career women will unhesitatingly use
their sexuality in the manner of the Sirens, whose
allure had a single professional intent: luring sailors
off course and causing ships to be wrecked. The
Jatter-day career woman has much the same obscene
compulsion: She must compete with and, if necessary,
cripple manhood and masculinity on earth, an enter-
prise that in healthier times would have evoked a
universal, deep-bass laugh of derision.
But how can mien laugh who have been reared
and bred in the ‘utterly unmale belief that they are
lost, beat or silent? What have they to laugh at? Only
themselves — and in a hollow, winded way that never
will suffice to brush aside*this werewoman who made
them what they aren'ttoday.
It is true that not all men are docile in the face
of her manipulative ploys. A growing percentage of
knowledgeable males are coming to recognize these
shrill humanoids for what they are, and are managing
either to keep them at arm's length or to anticipate
and counter their perfumed power plays. But even
the optimists among us must concede that this per-
centage is still pitifully small.
What of her habitat?
It is man’s and she has infiltrated every cubic
foot of it with the single exception of the toilet. The
career woman is most numerously found in offices
in big-city skyscrapers. Here, in subdued, bounced
light she sits behind an acreage of desk, walnut or
mahogany, which has so dissatisfied her in its natural
state (like everything else) that she has had it
bleached, as if it were not elegant wood but mousy
hair. Rarely the president or board chairman, she
holds as much sway over both as she can glean by
her characteristic methods: espionage, blackmail and,
if she is up to it, whoring. She knows where all the
boss’ bodies are buried and if she is not his mistress,
which, usually, her synthetically deluding carcass
prohibits, she knows where he keeps his wench. If —
and the likelihood increases as career women multiply
and virile men drop dead (continued on page 154)
By МОНТ SAHL мот Sahl has long been one of PLAYmov's favorite
° comedic commentators оп the contemporary scene.
During the year just past, he had some amusing things
to say about the magazine and the key club that
PLAYEOY's editors felt readers would enjoy, so Mort
consented to putting them down on paper, just the way
he said them in his night-club act. For this reading,
imagine you're in your favorite club: Mort is onstage,
in his familiar sweater and open-necked shirt, but
instead of the usual newspaper, he is holding PLAYBOY.
THE OTHER EVENING, Out of desperation, I found myself
in front of the Chicago Playboy Club. Whenever
Hefner isn’t throwing a party at his house, the town
gets pretty desperate. There aren’t any signs on the out-
side of any of the Playboy Clubs, you know — just
rabbits. But I recognized it and I went in.
The Playboy Club in Chicago has five floors, and
when I got into the lobby, I saw this sign, and it said,
ENTERTAINMENT ON ALL LEVELS. All right, I thought.
I'm ready for that! And then this girl came over to me
— she was an ex-Playmate. You know — from the center
of the magazine. Many are called, but few are chosen.
She was wearing the Bunny ears, and the little cotton
tail, and the black tie, with white collar and cuffs...
that’s about all. And she said, “Good evening, I'm
your Bunny Rosalie.” Or something like that.
"Good evening,” I said. "Where's the action?"
So this chick says to me — the Bunny, she says, “In
the Playroom, sir—on the fifth floor. The Bunnies
are Twisting.”
Have you ever seen that? You've never danced the
Twist until you've Twisted with a Playboy Bunny. In
the Miami Playboy Club, the Bunnies Twist on the
piano. They have a Twist Party and do this dance that
is kind of the theme of the Club: Its the Ultimate
Promise Unkept. That’s really it, you know.
So I started up the stairs and about half way up, I
came upon this businessman. He was stretched out on
a landing and they were working over him, giving him
Playboy Oxygen. He was kind of out of his head. He
could remember his key number all right, but not his
name.
In the Playroom, there were a bunch of people sit-
ting around and the members were Twisting with the
Bunnies, and over in the corner I see the Editor-
Publisher of PLAYBOY, (continued on page 152)
SAHL ON PLAYBOY
iconoclasm’s comic laureate pays
the magazine and the key club a visit
PLUMERI
«I could
sum up
my life in
four words:
I have
enjoyed
living.”
By ERNEST HEMINGWAY
THE GREAT WRITER’S LAST REFLECTIONS
ON HIMSELF, HIS CRAFT, LOVE AND LIFE
No man can ever reveal me to the world more vividly than I
have chosen to reveal myself. No man can conceal himself
from his fellow men, for everything he fashions and creates
interprets him. I tell people all about myself in my books.
ON WRITING
FROM MY VERY FIRST NOVEL, I seem to have been conscious of
my destiny. I never for a moment doubted that I was the pioneer
of a new era, and I realized that in future years my every act
would be regarded with great interest. I therefore determined
that posterity should have a truthful report of all my acts and
thoughts.
I AM A SEEKER for something beyond life and outside of time.
But my aim is to present human life in its normal guise, never
exalting or refining it. I am not a great thinker. I bring no
burning messages to mankind. I know the world surprisingly
well, however, and I touch its life at a thousand different points.
I NEVER HAD TO CHOOSE A SUBJECT — my subject rather chose
me. Like other authors before me, I delight in men of power, in
masters of situations, in masters of men. I become so infatuated
with my theme that I can devote myself to nothing else. Inspira-
tion can be as passionate as love.
MY NOVELS are drawn from the depths of my heart and expe-
rience, but I am not content to give them forth spontaneously
and thoughtlessly. My writing habits are simple: long periods
of thinking, short periods of writing.
I DO MOST OF MY WORK in my head. I never begin to write
until ideas are in order. Frequently I recite passages of dia-
log as it is being written; the ear is a good censor. I never set
a sentence down on paper until I believe I have it so expressed
that it will be clear to anyone.
YET I SOMETIMES THINK my style is suggestive rather than
direct. The reader must often use his imagination or lose the
most subtle part of my thought.
ITAKE GREAT PAINS with my work, pruning and revising with
a tireless hand. I have the welfare of my creations very much at
heart. I cut them with infinite care, and burnish them until
А MAN’S CREDO
they become brilliants. What many another writer would be
content to leave in massive proportions, I polish into a tiny gem.
I HAVE ТНЕВАВЕСІГТ of being able to apply my broad critical
powers to my own work as if it were the production of another.
I have not hesitated many times to reject that which a less con-
scientious writer would have left unquestioned.
ONE SHOULD NEVER WRITE except to please oneself. 1 am
happy writing. But I am not always happy about what I write.
I DO NOT BELIEVE that my books will ever stand as a monu-
ment to my memory — I have tried to be honest in my humility.
Tama writer by determination rather (continued on page 124)
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living.
MEETING WITH HEMINGWAY
from behind the iron curtain, a poetic
tribute to america’s master of prose
By EVGENY EVTUSHENKO
We were sitting at an airport
in Copenhagen drinking coffee.
It was comfortable there, refined,
and elegant to the last degree.
Then suddenly he appeared — that old man
in a plain green parka with a hood,
his face deep tanned by the salty wind —
loomed up rather than appeared.
Furrowing through a crowd of tourists,
he walked as if he’d just been sailing a boat,
and like the sea-foam, his beard,
grown whiter, fringed his face.
He walked with grim, victorious
determination, generating a big wave
that swept through what was old but looked modern;
and pulling open the rough collar of his shirt,
he, refusing a vermouth or a Pernod,
asked for a glass of Russian vodka at the bar,
and pushed back with his hand the tonic: “No!”
With roughhewn hands, all scarred and dented,
in boots that made a mighty clatter,
in trousers indescribably stained and greasy,
he looked more elegant than anything nearby.
‘The earth seemed to sink beneath him —
so heavily did he tread upon it.
And one of us commented with a smile:
“Just look! The very spit of Hemingway!”
Expressed in every gesture, he walked off
with a fisherman’s ponderous gait.
All out of granite roughly hewn, he walked
as men step through fire, through the ages.
He walked as if stooping in a trench;
walked moving men and chairs aside . . .
He resembled Hemingway so much!
Later I learned
that he indeed was Hemingway!
«А long
life
deprives
aman
of his
optimism.
A short
life is
better.»
PLAYBOY
124
MAN'S CREDO
than natural talent — the best example of
a self- le man that literature affords. 1
have never deserved the enormous suc-
ces amd fame that have been bestowed
upon me.
1 HAVE HAD MANY enthusiastic admirers
who never read a single book of mine.
But then the public has always tended
to exaggerate my importance — aud un-
derestimate my significance.
BOOKS POSSESS AN ESSENCE ОЁ immor-
tality. They are by far the most lasting
products of human effort. Temples
crumble into ruins, pictures and statues
decay; but books survive. Time is of no
account with great thoughts, which are
as fresh today as when they first passed
through their authors’ minds, ages ago.
What was then said and thought still
speaks to us as vividly as ever from the
printed page. The only effect of time
has been to sift and winnow out the
bad products; for nothing in literature
can long survive but what is really good.
THE MODERN NOVELIST, aside from pa-
tience and ability to work hard, must
possess a rare combination of powers. He
must have sound judgment and an
accurate sense of proportion to select
and reject among ponderous masses of
material, and to arrange all with due
subordination of parts and with a true
perspective. He must possess imagina-
tion, that he may project himself into
the past as well as the present and
actually live amid the themes which he
describes. He must have critical insight,
that he may trace causes and results and
pronounce accurate judgments upon
men and events. Only when a man has
clear insight into the springs of human
action can he truly begin to write well.
FEW Novrts have everything: combat,
pursuit, cruelty, sex, a host of strong
characters, a story that plunges ahead
like an armored division, and a respect
for its characters and for truth.
ALL THAT MANY NOVELISTS WRITE in
their later years is simply a recombina-
tion again and again of the scenes and
characters and incidents of their earlier
work, h less art and Jess enthusiasm
and energy.
TOO MANY MODERN NOVELS teach no
lesson and serve no purpose, except to
chill the blood by mere revolting physical
horror. It makes me happy to read a new
novel by an unknown novelist that is
empty of bitterness, intensely charitable
and generally wise.
HE VALUE AND CHARM of a good book
lic in its perfect simplicity, its frankness
and its seemingly unconscious revela-
tions of character and motive. It is sim-
plicity both in language and thought. It
is artless and free from conscious literary
effort. But writing with straightforward
simplicity is more difficult than writing
h deliberate complexity.
(continued from page 120)
A WRITER'S STYLE should be direct and
personal, his h and carthy,
and his words simple and vigorous. The
greatest writers have the gift of brilliant
brevity, are hard workers, diligent schol-
ars and competent stylists.
MANY SUCCESSFUL writers are able to
tell absorbing and expert stories about
almost nothing. The greatest тагу
faults of modern writers are thcir ten-
dencies to overornament and their fond-
ness for superficial glitter. 1 am always
afraid of meeting a writer whose books
are full of technical virtuosity.
MUCH WRITING published today is crude
and defective in art. Too many authors
write rapidly and carelessly, seldom cor-
recting their first manuscript dashed off
in the heat of composition. As a result,
the faults of their style are very glar-
ing. Their dialogs are far from natural,
their words ill-chosen, their English often
slovenly in the extreme. Many of their
novels are without unity of plot and
action. The story is at times tediously
spun out, running on and on like the
tale of a garrulous storyteller. They seem
to have little idea of what the next
chapter of their novel will contain. And
sometimes they drag in strange and
utterly unnecessary scenes with no appar-
ent reason whatever. They often intro-
duce new characters near the end of the
book. And their characters are ci
monsters or angels, dissected with
gusting minuteness. They act often with-
out sufficient motive, are cold and life-
less, mere symbols used in the solution
of some vague, fantastic problem of
destiny. And the plots are glaringly
improbable. In these books there is little
that is connected the real, i
world.
ON TOIL AND TIME
IN A CALM SEA every man is a pilot.
BUT ALL SUNSHINE without shade, all
pleasure. without pain, is not life at all.
Таке the lot of the happiest—it is а
tangled yarn. Bereavements and bless
ings, one following another, make us sad
and blessed by turns. Even death itself
makes life more loving. Men come closest
to their true selves in the sober moments
of life, under the shadows of sorrow and
loss.
COMMON OBSERVATION ought to teach
us how impossible it is to avoid difficul-
ties, if we would succced in any great
enterprise. We ought to be thankful for
them. They test our capacities of resist-
ance. Character evokes out of frustra-
tion. It is only after we have studied and
tested ourselves, and overestimated our
talents to our injury, more than once,
that experience gives us the proper es
mate of our own strength and weakness.
TO REGRET ONE'S ERRORS to the point of
not repeating them is true repentance,
There is nothing noble in being superior
10 some other man. The truc nobility is
in being superior to your previous self
IN THE AFFAIRS OF LIFE or of business,
it is not intellect that tells so much as
character, not brains so much as heart,
not genius so much as self-control, pa-
tience and discipline, regulated by judg
ment.
WISDOM 15 LIFE'S LAST GIFT to the ma
ture mind. The man of experience learns
to rely upon time as his helper. Time has
been described as a beautifier and as a
consoler; but it is also a teacher. It
the food of experience, the soil of wis-
dom. It may be the friend or the enemy
of youth. Time will sit beside the old
as а consoler or as a tormentor, accord-
ing as it has been used or misused, and
the past life has been well or ill spent.
LIFE IS ALMOST SPENT before we know
what it is But existence is not to be
measured by mere duration. An oak
lives for centuries, generation after gen-
eration of mortals in the meanwhile
passing away. But who would exchange
for the life of a plant a single day of the
existence of a living, conscious, thinking
man?
THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS in life that
are so beautiful and so deeply moving
that I feel a little ashamed for not having
appreciated them more. Still, I could
sum up my life in four words: I have
enjoyed living.
ON DEATH AND FEAR
THE воок which I wished to be the
crowning work of my life was The Old
Man and the Sea. The work was done
under great difhculties Old age was
creeping upon me. But few men die of
old age. Almost all die of disappoint
ment, passionate, mental or bodily work,
or accident. Man is the most hard worked
of all animals. A long life often deprives
man of his optimism. A short life is
better.
THERE 15 SCARCELY ANY MAN who has
not, at one time or another in the course
of his life, suffered more pain than is
ordinarily felt by people when they die.
The pang of death, a famous doctor
once told me, is often less than that
of a toothache.
ALL ARE CALLED To BATTLE and destined
to die, but cowards die futilely. I have
always believed that the first duty for
a man is still that of subduing fear.
Nothing discourages a man more than
cowardice and a fear of danger. The
smooth way it makes difficult, the diffi-
cult inaccessible. Human beings often
undergo much needless fear because they
are afraid to search out all the facts.
For fear of finding the fact worse than
the fear, they often fear what is much
worse than the fact. They go on through
life thinking they have seen a ghost, and
miserable in the thought. It is better to
know the worst than live on week after
weck in fear of the worst.
(concluded on page 175
a portfolio of the past d
MISS OCTOBER: LAURA YOUNG
PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW
THE NEW YEAR, WROTE POET EDWARD FITZGERALD, is a time for “reviving old desires." So it is with
New Year's resolve that we now recall the joys—or rather, the Myras, Lauras, Robertas and
Junes — that unfolded before us in our past 12 Playmate-of-the-Month features. The happy and
Obviously rewarding search for our perfect dozen took us this year to the north woods of Canada (for
two Playmates), to the sound stages of Hollywood (for two morc), to a country club, a department
store, a riding stable, and — not surprisingly — to our own Playboy Clubs. Conjuring up the pleasures
of the notsodistant past, our sentimental journey begins with a return to languid Laura Young,
whom we first met on the rolling green of a golf course where she carded an impressive 36-25-36.
Since appearing as our Playmate in October, Laura has attracted a national gallery as a fashion model.
MISS MARCH: PAMELA GORDON
ntilevered (39-23.
itecture of a Vancouver
construction firm receptionist
named Pamela Anne Gordon
gained her the additional prom-
inence, in March, of becoming
PLAYBOY's first Canadian Play-
mate. Since then, prodigious
Pam — an indoor girl at heart —
has bowed to demands for an
encore by signing on as one of
the showbiziest Bunnies at our
Chicago Playboy Club. Right: A
teenage bent for nonstop tele-
phone talking was displayed by
beguiling bobby-soxer Roberta
Lane when she appeared at her
blue-jeaned best as our April
Playmate. Now she chats o
business phone as a grown-up
girl Friday for a New York lin
gerie manufacturer. Our sylvan
shot of Bobbie sans sox proves
that she is still quite obviously
the right number (34-21-34).
MISS APRIL: ROBERTA LANE
Right: Kittenish Kari Knudsen,
a Norwegian with a knack for
knitting, was fittingly featured
in nothing but a sweater as our
February Playmate. Now a New
Yorker, Kari hasn’t tarried in
her pursuit of acting hoi
she's been seen in such TV
series as Naked City and T he
Defenders and has also added
her touch to A Touch of Mink.
Returning to our pages, Kari
again pulls our eyes over the
wool — and her 36-23-35 figure,
MISS FEBRUARY: KARI KNUDSEN
MISS NOVEMBER: AVIS KIMBLE
Right: Cat fanciers may re-
member that a sleepy Siamese
lounged contentedly on the cov-
ers of Avis Kimble’s downy bed
when we captured the Kimble
contours in our November is-
sue. The rest of us, however. are
more likely to remember Avis.
an upbeat bohemian of literary
bent and artistic (39-22-36) lines
who was equally at home on
either side of an easel. Continu-
ing to pursue her muse, Avis is
currently penning a book of
poetry. Left: A freewhecling bi-
cyclist built (36-22-36) for beau
ty, California's Merissa Mathes
wore only a beribboned bonnet
when she appeared as our pas-
toral Playmate in June. After
her camera poise was uncovered,
Merissa forsook the cycling path
for the high road to Hollywood.
But a movie career is only a
peddle push toward her ultimate
ambition: her own cattle ranch.
MISS JUNE: MERISSA MATHES
Left: The dog days of August
held no terriers (or poodles ei
ther) for PLAYROY readers who
caught the cool beauty of gener-
ously (3 35) endowed Jan
Roberts as she perched in pumps
and the mere suggestion of a
negligee over a breakfast bar in
her Chicago aparunent. Unlike
many Playmates who have gone
on to win their ears as Playboy
Club Bunnies, Jan was one of
our hutch honeys even before
she made the centerfold scene.
MISS AUGUST: JAN ROBERTS
MISS MAY: MARYA CARTER
Right: Off California’s rocky
coast we first caught sight of
mermaidenly Marya Carter, our
Playmate for May. A sprightly
water nymph who showed flaw-
less (37-23-36) form as a scuba-
and-ski buff, Marya minus
swimsuit is enough to lure any
man onto the rocks. Since her
splash on our pages, Marya has
abandoned her beachnik ways
to get into the swim of show-
biz as a fixture on Jackie Glea-
son's weekly TV spectacular.
MISS SEPTEMBER: MICKEY WINTERS
Right: In September, when we
pictured high-tiding Mickey
Winters “hitting the hay” in a
lofty pose, several of our readers
needled us by agreeing that
Mickey was stacked (36-18-34)
indeed, but upon oat straw
rather than hay. Straw vote or
gallop poll, our answer to Lady
Godiva still ranked as one of the
most popular Playmates of the
year. Left: Unne Terjesen was
framed in regal splendor when
she appeared as our July Play-
mate. But there is a tomboyish
half to elegant (39-23-39) Unne
that blossoms, from time to time,
into tree climbing and motor-
cycle mania. Runner-up in the
1960 Miss Norway contest, Unne
forsook fjords to come to Van-
couver two years ago. Since her
PLAYBOY debut, she has moved
into full-time fashion modeling.
MISS JULY: UNNE TERJESEN
MISS JANUARY: MERLE PERTILE
Left: When we first considered
pert Merle Pertile as a Playmate
candidate, we felt certain we
had seen her somewhere before.
And so we had; Merle was a
regular on our Playboy's Pent-
house TV show originating in
Chicago. In the 12 months since
we channeled her into the pages
of PLAYBOY, Merle has roled up
an impressive list of Hollywood
credits. But even before she gar-
nered speaking parts, her projec-
tion (38-22-34) was outstanding.
Right: Proof that the Yule sea-
son is a joyous one was fetch-
ingly offered in our December
issue with the unwrapped pres-
ence of five-foot-two June Coch-
ran, gifted with 36-20-34 holiday
trimming. An Indiana lass who
has won her state title in both
the Miss Universe and Miss
World contests, June is now
a convention co-ordinator. But
one look at June in January
is enough to convince us that
she's far from just conventional.
MISS DECEMBER: JUNE COCHRAN
“... And I hereby resolve
to be a good girl
this coming year —
Starting first thing `
tomorrou morning!” — =
Ribald
Classic
A GARRISON HAD BEEN SET UP in Turino
for the purpose of providing quarters
for the wives of Italian Army officers on
the march. Named to the det
of this garrison w youthful
known among hi
to enjoy even the most adverse cire
stances.
ppearances notwithstanding, this
n detail was indeed adverse, for
while the men were surrounded by an
abundance of women at all times, like
wise they were under the cha
elderly colonel whose sole bi
s the book of m
tary regula-
s in this atmosphere that the ser
geant made the acquaintance of an аг
tractive young woman, the wife of an
officer 20 years her senior who was inter-
ested in matters of the military much
more than in matters of the heart. The
sergeant found in her a girl whose very
being exuded the spirit of life. Immedi-
tely he fell in love with her; and, as
swiftly, she became enamored of him. As
might be expected, soon their knowledge
al as well as
of each other became phy
spiritual.
At the
garrison wa
major, herself. qu
ibutes that attr:
ame living also in the
the widow of an elderly
te lacki п the at-
was in-
not see fit to associ th
and thereupon vowed that she would
make him regret his ch.
One night, while the two young lovers
were together in а particular barn, the
old woman entered with a light. Seeing
her before she saw them, the lovers be-
to run. The sergeant, completely
ed, fell over a milking stool, and was
ed by the woman. Immediately,
accosted the colonel and related the
happening to him; then she demanded
e in women.
na
obse
an old Italian tale
that the sergeant be disciplined. The
colonel, however, held to another view.
arding evidence
that hearsay is inadmi
“Therefore, it is impo:
¢ adultery, as you claim, for we
know not that he was adulterous except
by your accusation, Our knowledge
limited to the fact that he was found un
clothed, This, milady, is not adultery.
Thereupon the old woman proceeded
to the librar arked upon
a study of legal volumes. Two days later
she emerged and marched to the colonel’s
office, where she charged that the ser
geant was guilty of being out of uniform.
"The colonel nodded thoughtfully and
sent out arresting officers, for, in truth,
the charge did apply. L
he journeyed to the library himself and
gazed reflectively upon the inscription,
"Ubi Iniuria, Ibi Remedia ("Where
there is an injury, there is also a cure").
He spent several hours in meditation and
ned to the court, whereupon he
ruled as follows:
n such instances as members of the
military are engaged in sport, they may
elect to wear whatever clothing might be
ewise, however,
are engaged, in which ev
be no violation if the attire is neat.
"The sergeant was freed, returned to his
lover and proceeded to enjoy the circum-
stances. Meanwhile the colonel sched
uled ol appointments for the
old woman, at which appointments, he
ave us believe, he intended to
be more fully the law as pertains
to questions of suitability. Naturally, we
are inclined to draw our own conclusion:
on the subject, keeping at all times in
mind the colonel's wisdom and his motto.
—Retold by Paul J. Gillette EB
135
>
PLAYB
SCHULBERG
Over the years it has been fascinating
for me to watch the development of
young men with little or no educati,
no poise except with their gloved hands
inside a fighting ring, no confidence with
their so-called ^
their way to m y
ment. Joe Louis came out of the dark
nowhere ol depression- and prejudice-
ridden Detroit, but fast of hand and
slow of speech, there was а grace about
the dressing room and at the
training camp conference, that quickly
wou the not easily given hearts of the
working press.
If necessity is the mother of invention,
the mother of
y. Joe Louis said little, but
1 substance. When Wen
n the eloquent Presidential
candidate, in the ring for the Joe Louis-
Buddy Baer World War H charity fight,
told the crowd that we were sure to win
because God was on our side, unlettered
Joe corrected him. Said the champion,
putting his tide on the line for nothii
patriotic gesture no aircraft or electronics
Ve
responsibility may be
hum:
n dign
he said
dell Willk
God's sid.
ble and his sponsors were a pati of well-
endowed numbers men from Detroit, but
the responsibility of the heavyweight
championship rested nicely on his broad
and supple shoulders. You might say he
grew imo the job, as did, in their individ-
ual ways, Jim Braddock and Rocky Mar-
ciano.
Others have failed their roles for rea-
sons interesting to analyze even if you
are not keen fans or close students of this
cruel chess game of a sport. Jack Sharkey,
clever for his size, appeared to take one
of the rare dives in the history of this
championship when he fell before Primo
Carncra, who towered like Samson and
punched with all the power of a second-
rate featherweight. Primo, delivered up
for slaughter by the mob after they had
fattened on his purses, was mercilessly
chopped down by Maxie Baer, the for-
ble frontrunner, who preferred
his roadwork with the opposite
blew his 10-1 shot to Braddock, th
brave reread, and had to be lifted oft
the rubbing table to
to his executi
ag Since this is a crucl
sport, it makes excessive demands on
the flesh and spirit. It has its own dure
code. Primitive and primordial it may
be, but in this day of automation, the
organization man, conformity, the brood-
ing passivity of the beats and the beat-
niks, I find the old-fashioned virtues,
pride, courage and personal determin:
tion attractive, even inspiring elements
separating men from sheep and cham-
pions hom pseudochampions looking
for paynights, m sing throug!
s and knows the
- Chicago, where Floyd Patter
Joc Loi
h.
(continued from page 116)
son, the heavyweight Hamlet, earned or
rather received 513499 per second for
his inept and futile wo minutes and six
seconds against Sonny Liston, the pile
driver who walks like a man, is the city
where the referee was counting out Jersey
Joe Walcou while J. J. was counting his
money after Marciano had dumped the
aging cutie in round one. And long ago
in the same cow-town metropolis on the
lake there was the stirring onc-rounde
between Joe Louis and Kingfish Levin-
sky, who had to be pried loose from h
stool and literally flung into what was
laughingly called combat by his brave
managers, including his sister, a lady who
surely would have provided more oppo-
sition for Joe that sorry night. Chicago
hterhouse ad perhaps
is the pervading odor of sudden. sledge
hammer death that hangs over its col
seums that numbs the nervous systems
of its one round tors
But the crowd — 4000 of whom paid
5100 per seat and wandered from Com-
tow
iskey Park asking each other what Liston
had hit Patterson with, while 14,000
others (about half of what had been
expected) paying down to SIO for seats
from which even Liston looked like
midget — didn't even bother to ask cach
other because nobody had seen nothin’.
This crowd remembers. It will be a long
time before Roy Cohn and the Brothers
Bolan lure them back to Comiskey, even
if it’s scaled from five bucks le to
four bits in the bleachers. One redeem-
4 feature of the fiasco was the safety
valve of American laughter. “I have
better fights with my wife," one frus-
trated ticket holder was heard to say.
And outside as the disappointed lcd
imo the night, resourceful vendors
hawking their pathethic souvenirs were
croaking, "Here ya are — only 15 cents —
here ya getya money's worth.” A few
passersby smiled, but no sale, The $100-
seat celebrities were oll to the parties to
drink and ogle fancy ladies. Then 10-
buck aficionados, who had come to root
Patterson, the "mood guy,” were in no
mood to wave any Liston banners over
their bei Here and there a true fan of
the old days remembered a genuine
heavyweight defense in his town, 25 years
before, almost to the day.
That was when Jim Braddock, whom
Joe Gould had resurrected from the Jer-
sey docks, was in there against the 23
year-old Joe Louis. No one gave the old
longshoreman a chance. Joe Gould, who
told me the whole story shortly before
he passed on to wherever good fight
man: о, had taken the preca
ion
of looking out for Jim (and Gould) by
making one of the silent provisions of
the deal a 10 percent interest in Louis’
future title purses. That was Gould's
business. Braddock's business was to
fight. He performed with honor. The
word pride comes readily to Patterson's
lips. but Braddock carried his pride
where it seems to function best. A more
seasoned, betterschooled fighter than
Patterson, never overprotected Dy
shrewdly paternalistic manager like Cus
D'Amato, a veteran of Queensberry wars,
Braddock was able to knock Louis down.
But Joe got up and came on, stronger
le the old legs of Gould's
were running down like a
ever
breadw:
aner
mechanical toys. At the end of seve
Gould, a man of sensitivity, whose pock-
s were bulging with the advance money
п cash, th of his client's health,
and perhaps of their newly acquired in-
terest in the imminent champion, urged
Braddock to surrender. “If you let ‘em
stop it, UH never speak to you again
muttered the hopelessly outgunned de-
fender. “I wanna lose it in the middle
of the ring where T belong,
Louis obliged him in the next round,
knocking him cold. Braddock was satis-
fied. Thats how prizefighters are, when
they are. Thus spoke B; Ross when
Henry Armstrong was d him a
beating it seemed impossible for this
old welterweight marvel to survive. He
sted on suffering his ordeal to the
al bell of the 15th. It is a kind of
pride that passes understanding for us
ordinary mortals,
There seem to be two kinds of cour
age, the suspension of the imagination
that Hemingway once described, and the
control of the imagi
who devoted most of his life and his
art to this basic but complex problem,
called the latter се under pressure.”
I wonder if Hemingway and other nov-
elists have been to prizefights. not only
because. the outdoor ude fight is an
Americam social phenomenon, but be
cause à man comes into a stripped
to his essentials, He cannot depend on
the support a of tea
mates. There he Попе under the
heat of the ring lights and the thousand
eyes of the crowd for whom it is so
easy. A distinguished colleague of mine,
who knows his sweet science, has written
in another magazine that he is leery of
psychological interpretations of prize-
fights. The men simply come in and fight
to the best of their skills, he says. I
dissent. | mcn beat then
selves in training camps. 1 have seen
man take the fight out of a better man
by convincing him that the former is i
control. It is a way of getting oll, a way
етип, And beyond this, there is
the chess game, the feinting, the correct
appraisal оГ the other man's rhythm
agem of allowing punches
ncingly, so as to build up
false confidence, Encouraged, the oppo-
t grows careless, Thinking of moves
ahead, the chess-playcr-fighier. i:
ing for the opening he will provoke
There are ruses and counterruses, but at
have scen
w
last the true
itself.
Discussing the aborti
the most lucrati
history tic p the
fight headquarters in Chicago, 1 was tell-
ing a New York sportswriter how I. had
enjoyed pre ht assignments be-
like a painter making sketches
Tor some longer work, I could put down
in the best words at my disposal the
form, the look, the feel, the si
details of the match. They had been
like exerci in creative writing: Ob-
serve closely, then bry to recreate the
experience. This u
stead of the ex
had barely begun. € was no
fight, onc must probe deeper, behind
the fight, around dhe fight, with a hard
look at the past and an educated look
into the future. That's right, he agreed,
ature of the m
moon shot,”
е
Cause,
I don't qualify for any of those, but
if Norman Mailer, with whom I lived
first in friendly, then in anxious prox-
mity during that agitated fight weck in
Chicago, can swing on Archie Moore
the night of the fight (Archie slipped it
nicely and retired to a neutral corner)
and preempt Liston's chair at the press
conference the following morning and
call the new champion a bum (clean-cut
decision for Liston, leaving not blood
but egg on fearless young novelist’s face)
— that kind of courage is infectious and
so 1 came away from Chicago ready to
the new champion and the ex-
ghting men, as rackei
prone, as potential millionaires and as
I doubt if there is such a
ге going in
rehabilitées.
word, but the way things
the boxing business I fca
u ge already
overburdened with little monsters like
finalized and psyched.
Sonny Liston, even if he remains a
dark spot on the conscience of the New
York Athletic Commission, and other
august bodies who frown on ex-cons with
underworld conr i
disputed champion of this troubled
word. He is the most heavyweight this
witness has seen since Joe Louis. He is
not s Joe, as crisp or as clever
but he is bigger and stronger. Louis
he was in his
he weighed. as
terson 1
. Liston is
d overstutled 214.
ıd ponderous
ections, is now the un-
s fast
scaled. under 200 when
when
youthful prime;
much as Liston
was overwe
a true, not à
He is not as
some of the experts believed. Watching
him wain at the forlorn, abandoned
racetrack, Aurora Downs, he performed
his now celebrated ropeskipping dance
to the wild strains of his favorite Night
Train for 24 minutes. Joe Louis, and
war dance, was impressed. In fact а
number of writers, this one included,
were plain frightened. He skips rope
with a primitive, nimble vengeance tha
belies his size and dramatizes his superb
condition. In the past I have seen finely
conditioned athletes, Louis and Marci
ano for two, and Liston now forms with
them a trinity of holy terrors. If no
suitable contender can be dredged up
— and the runners-up now seem a pitiful
collection — he may have a future as a
novel attraction at the Сора and the
spas of Vegas. skipping his own unique
choreography to the screaming beat of
Night Train. 1 think I'd go to sce it
in, which is more than most of us
who were there could say for a rep
of his demolishment of Patterson. Willie
Reddish, his big, атаа, surly-cyed,
mournful-moustached trainer, plays а
grim second banana to another promis
ing act. Willie hurls a 12-pound med
ball with all his old Philadel
at Liston’s belly, which
blow without а flicker of reaction from
Liston's face. In fact Liston's ma
atures are а study in imperturb;
The heavy b:
as from a br
it back noncl
ing for Willie to throw
Everybody obeys Li
camp. He has no ma
a of
at
is his
=== Брет
“The way that snow is piled
we'll probably be st
"adviser," in little eager-beaver Jack
Nilon, a Philadelphia caterer to football
games who scems to have been chosen for
this position of responsibility near the
throne because he never set eyes on or
even heard of Blinky Palermo. Palermo
is the well-known Philadelphia philan.
thropist presently out оп 5100,000 bail
for attempting to muscle in on an erst-
while welterweight champion called Don
Jordan. Blinky enjoys a reputation for
taking wonderful care of his fighters on
the way up. Ask Billy Fox or Johnny
Saxton, sometime when you happen to
be dropping in on the asylum, It would
be nice if one could tell the Sonny Liston
Story without soiling it with the fi
prints of “our man in Philadelphi;
honesty, or at least a few honest doubts,
prevail.
ston hits the speed bag with quicker
Li
hands than his heft would suggest, occa-
sionally ripping the hide off it to expose
its bulging bladder. On the heavy 1
be throws the meanest left hook T have
ever seen, When he drops this awful
weapon on his light heavyweight. spar-
ring partners, their legs tremble and
they double in pain. It is not pretty to
- Sonny was one of 25 children
the cotton-picking fields of Arkansa:
they say his old
off to the wilds of St. Louis, beat him
every day until Sonny grew big enough
ап, whose wife had run
up out there, Miss Johns,
uck here a week."
137
PLAYBOY
k. He ran off to St. Louis
ге and anger
out of the
. There was
ad tame bim,
ow Souny can
10 beat him b
10 hunt down his mother:
made a cop-ighter and a m
boy who prowled the streci
no Wiltwyck to reform a
in Patterson's ic. N
out his hostilities, as we alysts
y. on his little sparring partners, The
mpion of the world, as of 9:30 р.м.
on the night of September 23th. was to
fare no better. Sonny's sparmates call
him The Bear and fear his viciousness
ıd more their S25 per round
Floyd Paterson, enjoying the
compensation of $1,700,000 for
ids of a round, was not made
happy by the experience
After Liston had shown all I needed
to see to reconfirm an carly summer
opinion, 1 attached myself to а small
select group of sportswriters who were
to have a private audience with Liston
hefor press conference. These
were reporters for national weeklies and
big-city sports desks Bob T.
perman who happens to
üicntation with Liston and
sociability with the rest of us, went in
mood Sonny is in." “IE he's
good mood he'll sec you gue
ned, somewhat apologetically. "I
he's good
not judged this from the
workout 1 had just seen, only that The
r had a hell of a left hook.
Bob Teague returned to say that he
was awfully sorry but Sonny was not
‘ood mood after all. Liston, it seems,
à blind man with a heightened sei
ol touch, compensates for a slight inabi
ity to read and write by remembering the
faces of newspapermen whose comments
have offended him. He had spotted such
a culprit in the crowd. For a man who
e ball hurled at his
stomach with cumonball speed, he is
as thin-skinned as Patterson and much
more forcelul in expressing his resent-
ments. He does not like newspaperme
to reer to his past. Since he has been
arrested 19 times since 1950, served
headbreaker Гог John Vitale, a St. Louis
netherworlder with both Teamster and
suspected Mafia connections, and has
twice been picked up with Barney Bak
the 300-pound Teamster enforcer now
doing time for selling out his union
brothers for a couple of Gs, it is some-
times difficult for reporters to keep som
ol these unhappy facts from creeping
10 their Liston pieces. So bye-bye good
od, ^ ing ton
опе of the newsweekly men pr
“Who the hell does he think he
asked а man from а worl
needed the interview.
Sonny Liston, the next champion of the
world, and I^
another.
han e:
to see
could
se
o will not si
nr
We contented ourselves. with
138 his distinguished visitor, Ingemar Jo-
hansson. who, for one mad and glorious
year, held this profitable championship.
Liston worc his hair tight to his head
'з cap. He fixed his small
with an ask-me-a-question-L-
dare-ya glare. Perhaps for that reason
the first question was addressed to Ingo,
the Swedish capi In one paper h
had picked Patterson for his speed. In
another paper he had touted Liston for
his strength. Which side was he ow
Ingemar peered at the stolid Liston
through his shrewd baby-blue eyes. “1 —
don't know,” he said after a suspenseful
pause. "For this the great expert
mported Irom Goteborg,” we muttered.
Then Ingo was asked about his sub-
poena; seems he put his hand out on
arrival anticipating a handshake, and an
unkindly swanger slipped a
into it, enjoining him not to le:
country until he had anted up the cool
million Uncle Sam is looking for in
back
Now the rebel, the outsider that Sonny
Liston has been all his life showed in
a broad smile. He and Ingo weren't
blick man and white man but
Icllow-victims of the Law.
ya U shake hands with strangers,” Sonny
hed, for the firs Another tix
question tossed Ingo's way brought this
warning from Sonny: “Don't tell him
nothin’, ya'll just make it wors
When the questions turned to Sonn
craft, why he was working so little with
his right, did he have a plan for the
fight, just how good a fighter did he
think Patterson was, the eternal post-
workout interrogation, Sonny was sullen
He thought the questions were
h and obvious, and to most of them
he merely grunted and glared. "You
fellers look at the sun, then ya me
His faithful col-
Reddish, Palino, Purolli, who
ve been loyal yardmen in the vine-
yards of Blinky Palermo, were studies in
асса hostility. In fact, in some
ars of taining camp visits, this
was the most unfriendly. "Its like cov-
cring Lubi 1 whispered to a friend
whose question had just been answered
with а Liston look, a stare that puts
Karloff’s and Lugosi's in the Bobbsey
Twins class, And when Liston did talk,
his voice sounded muffled and dista
from some hole deep inside
as if issuing up out of a tomb.
H a top New York stage d
been asked to design ideally contra
training camps for Liston and P
he could not have provided better than
Aurora Downs and Marycrest, the bu
colic Catho! farm reueat for under
ivileged children where Patterson w
six months of intensive prepa-
ration for the listless two-minute fight
It was а lovely fall day, harvest time i
Hlinois with fields of yellow cornstalks
ud horses grazing im green meadows.
There was Ted Carroll, the erudite
audience
now,
s
Negro cartoonist now installed
terson press attaché, We reminisced
about the night we were stranded to-
gether at the Robinson-Gavilan fight
outside Philadelphia and jumped the
Ck of an open truck as rain be:
fall. We remembered the first Walcott-
Marciano fight when Rocky was down,
azed and cut in the first round, doubled
almost to the dropping point in the 12th,
and then with the blood continuing to
sucam down into his eyes, somehow
pulled himself together out of sc
blindne: ad dropped Walcott with a
classic hook to the jaw. We were in one
of the front press rows, and it seemed
as if the entire population of Brockton
Mass, was running up our backs, across
our shoulders and leaping from our
heads into the ring to embrace their
new champion.
Cus D'Amato, a strange, squat monk
of a man who had served as Patterson's
ali in Floyd's groping, amateur
days alter his return from Wiltwyck, but
whom Floyd has gradually, persistently
cut out of his life, was running The
Floyd Patterson Story, à remarkable film
documentary that proves conclusively
that Floyd Patterson is the greatest
heavywei: since Sullivan and Corbett
went at cach oth the first Queens-
berry title fight (gloves, no longer to а
finish, three-minute rounds, etc). The
film opens with Corbett losing his tide
to Ruby Bob Fitzsimmons with Bat Mas-
terson as the third man.
1 been part of my box
Corbett the master boxe
mons the bald freak of a
who could take out rank: heavyweights
with a single punch. In this bit of grainy
film history, they looked slow and un-
tractive. Ruby Bob fetches Corbet onc
the stomach pit and down slides my
idol, slumping along the canvas without
any noticeable elfort to rise, as had Wil-
lard and Dempsey and Louis and Marci-
ano. “A couple of bums,” Cus commented
over the sound track. “Floyd would've
licked them both the same night.”
The film went on to show in-
domitable tiger leaping on and devour-
g а score of
glowingly descri
edited mayhem r
opponents, each onc
bed. When the well-
ched Archie McBride
ined in
Pennsylvania bam and the local
ı and 1 had been his first mana-
had thought of him for the
of Trenton and Readi
had not realized he would final
the Garden with Paterson, in Havana
with Valdez, then the number one con-
tender, in g lethal Bob
Satterfield, and a squeaker 1o
Johansson in Goteborg, where the local
I felt a pang, for Archie had t
my
figh
inthe {ter Floyd dropped Archie
to his hands and knees for the full count
REMEMBER HOW WE
MET STEVIE? THE
VERY FIRST WORDS
U0U EVER
SAID TO
SEARCHING Bol -
LUSTING AFTER
ABSOLUTES ID А
AN IMMATURE
І BECAME
DEDICATED TO
END 10 ми
AU END O
SEARCHING!
THEN ЧОО ARE
Чое OWN
MAN NOW,
STEVIE Z V
A WILO, HUNGRY 600
GODLESS WORLD-
PICTURE, DOROTHY,
APATHY Í ALL 1
ASKED WAS AN
INNER TORMENT-
I WAG A
BOY тна)
DOROTHY.
-HAVE ЧО) READ.
“DAS КАРТА."
AND THEN) - DISILLUSION
AUD VESPAIR. A
REJECTION OF ALL
THINGS HOLY AND
UNHOLY - A LOSS
OF FAITH IN
MAN -
AND FINALY -A NEW
AWAKENING- A NEW
VICION- A LEAVING
BEHIND OF ALL
DOGMA- AT LAGT
I HAD LOST
Ми PAGSION
FOR FALSE
60051
HAVE You
READ ANY
“ZEN?
139
PLAYBOY
in the seventh. Archie had cried and
apologized for not doing better. "Too
many hands,” he kept saying, staring at
the floor from the rubbing table with
that listless dejection that follows physi-
cal beating. On the previous Sunday a
key McBride sparmate had failed to show
our farm and I had offered myself as
a brief sacrifice to Archie's conditioning.
I was worried about Arch because you
can get to know a fighter so well you can
almost smell his probable conquerors
and victims. Archie was a small heavy-
weight, like Patterson, but slower and
he looked better against big men, bruis-
ers, Valdez, Besmanoff, Miteff . . . Bob
Baker was the target we had wanted, but
the word from New York was Patterson.
Floyd had already bested Archie in in-
formal sparring sessions when they were
both at the same camp training for
other fights. “I'll try to move around
and you try not to hurt me," I said to
Archie. He assured mc that to injure his
benefactor was the furthest thing from
his mind. Thirty seconds later, with a
mild jab, he broke my nose. In fact after
one minute I looked as smashed up as
Tony De Marco after Carmen Basilio
had worked him over in that brutal wel-
terweight ude fight in Boston.
My brief encounter with McBride
taught me a lesson. Writers should stop
fighting and leave the profession to the
men who make it their business. For
some unaccountable reason novelists
have a tendency to commit рив;
Hemingway, no less, once pushed me
against the wall of a Key West patio
because he seemed to think prizefighting
was his exclusive literary hunting ground,
nd I had no right to trespass. I think
he felt the same way about war and the
sea and love. Over the years I've been
pushed against a few walls by novelists
hing in anywhere from feather-
weights to out-of-condition heavyweights.
1 don't know why, but poets and biogra-
phers seem to be a more peaceful lot.
On the screen The Floyd Patterson
Story was rising to a glorious dimax with
Floyd's vindication and revenge: The
Swede stretched for a count that could
have gone on for 10 minutes instead
of 10 seconds.
“Floyd is the most underrated cham-
pion in history,” Cus continued his non-
stop commentary. “The press is always
criticizing us for fighting bums. He
fought four number one contenders and
two more in the first five. Remember
Brian London was number four. Radc-
macher may have been an amateur
technically but he was a se:
weight who could hit as
a the division.” I have always listened to
Cus with a kind of exasperated awe. Ora-
torically, he could hold five Senators and
Jerry Giesler at bay. Is he the greatest
con man in the boxing business since
Doc Kearns or the saint who slew single-
n.
140 handed the underworld dragons that
flourished under the Norris regime? They
say Floyd doesn't speak to him anymore,
refusing to listen when Cus wanted no
part of Liston, as he had successfully run
around Machen, Folley and any other
threats to the carefully concocted record.
It was probably necessary for Patterson,
the wounded introspective, to cut off
D'Amato's water, just as every son must
finally strike at and turn [rom his father
1 the adolescent fight for independence.
But facts are facts. Cus’ peculiar match-
making, Rademacher, London, Harris,
McNeeley, may have helped dig the box-
ing game a little lower into the bog
where it has been seuling since the re-
tirement of Marciano, But his business
acumen on Floyd's behalf — three fourths
of a million in 1959, a million in 1960,
another mil in 1961, and that whopping
$1,700,000 for the Liston thing, plus the
earlier paynights that Cus accounts for
more honorably than is the custom in
the countinghouses behind the blood
pits—may entitle Cus to 2 statue, a
noble Greek pose would be appropriate,
in Floyd's Scarsdale residence. In his
million-dollar obscurity, he doesn’t have
to talk to Cus, only bow in oriental re-
spect as the sun rises and falls away.
Of the more eminent combos in the
history of the heavyweights, Dempsey-
Kearns, Louis Jacobs, Marciano-Al Weill,
and that grand old pair of vaudevillis
scene again as spry octogenarians, surely
the strangest pair are Patterson and
D'Amato: Cus who can't stop talking
and Floyd who can barely start A
crowded, poverty-ridden home іп the
Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn
drove the moody ex-champion into the
streets as а baby-faced truant in baggy
pants and cast-off shoes. Released from
Wiltwyck, where his sensitive nature т
sponded to kindness and companionship,
he found himself with his fists under
Cus’ tender tutelage. He was a recluse
who liked dark places, cellars and dark
comers where he could search his
troubled, frightened soul. In 1952 he
became one of the most gifted of Olym-
pic champions, at 167 pounds, and had
his first taste of acceptance. He was the
youngest man ever to win the heavy-
weight championship and the only one,
including Corbeu, Jeffries and Dempsey,
ever to regain it. Yet the tormented
slum-child who had slept three in а bed
stamped his adult personality, perhaps
even permanently warped i
When he was knocked rubber-legged
and sloe-eyed by Johansson and right-
crossed out of his title in three rounds,
he had saved face by rising to punish-
ment times (shades of old Joe
Grim), but the two thirds of a mill
dollars and a demonstration of coura
in the old tradition were no balm for
a sense of having fallen from grace. He
crept back into his home and drew the
seve
shades and hid as if he had stolen the
purse and, as is commonly believed,
shamefully splashed & la Sharkey, In his
preparation for the Liston fight he said
strange things and set up a pattern of
behavior defeatist and self-indulgent. He
had two cars ready, one headed for the
hotel in the event of victory, another to-
ward New York, a getaway car ready to
run like a thief's in the night. A false
mustache and beard would help to hide
him from the unhappy eventuality. In a
press interview shortly before the fight,
Patterson sermonized that if Liston won,
he hoped the public would accept him
and give him the opportunity he de-
served, These are commendable words
for a social worker, but the hard truth
is that Patterson should have been pre-
paring himself to go in and knock
Liston's brains out, not concern himself
on the eve of the fight of his life with
his opponent's regeneration. For the
second Johansson fight, Floyd had said
he had to “work on his viciousness.”
Telltale phrase. Viciousness is not even
a valuable asset in the prize ring. Louis
and Marciano were not vicious men.
"They did not have to think in those
terms. "They were superbly trained, in-
tense competitors. They competed until
they had asserted domination. It may
not be sufficiently understood that the
prizefighter is probably the most intel
gent and sensitive of all professional ath-
s they approach their lonely,
naked night, out there alone in front
of scores of thousands and now through
closed-circuit TV, four or five mi n,
they think positively. At least the win-
ners. Patterson thinks too much, about
too many things; he thinks not well but
deep. His mind and heart are divided.
He is a jockstrap Hamlet. Against the
Rademachers, Harrises, Londons, Mc
Neeleys he could prevail. But against
a ballbreaker like Liston, who comes not
to think or regenerate but to knock you
dead, Patterson is a sensitive child in
the hands of a brutal [ather.
When I returned to the pressroom,
feeling the mounting tension in the click
of the typewriters, the increased conver-
sational hum, the alcoholic buildup of
the freeloaders, 1 took a deep drink and
a deep breath and went to the bulletin
board where all the writers, 500 of them
from every part of the U.S., from Eng-
land, from France and Holland and
South America, were being asked to post
their predictions. Fascinating guesswork.
D'Amato's monolog on Floyd — “Look at
his record, actually greater than Dempsey,
Louis, Marciano" —had virtually brain-
washed me. "Liston — KO — 5" I added
my bit to the board. If the second-raters,
among which I number Johansson, could
bounce Floyd down when they hit him
on the jaw, how could The Bear fail?
"The pressroom tension on the day of
the fight mounts an emotional ther-
‘SEAGRAN DISTILLERS COMPANY, НУС. 90 PROOF. DISTILLED DRY GIN. OISTILLED FROM AMERICAN GRAIN.
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The explanation is simple.
On the way from the still to the bottle, something
very drying happens to the gin. It’s a costly extra step
in which Nature strips away unwanted sweetness
and perfumery.
The result? A gin that is utterly, completely, profoundly dry.
See? Nature even verifies it with a sunny signature —
the amber glintin Seagram's Gin, It's a very cheerful luster,
One that belongs in the most cheerful holiday martinis.
PLAYBOY
142
чт
ae
"It's not that I didn’t believe in Santa Claus — it's just
that you've shattered my image somehow . ..”
d hysteria. 1 have never
seen sportswriters so personally involved,
so much like us poor semi-profe
novelists, as they were for thi
talk to people 1 am fond of
too rarely, Red Smith, Frank
Jesse Abramson, Gene Ward, Al Abrams
from Pittsburgh, 20 more. "Who do you
like? What do you feel? I see Liston big,
гата Charles wanders in, like Patterson
never having quite believed himself to
be the champion, and most of the room
seems unaware of him. Only a few, like
thorough Jesse Abramson, pauses to
terview him. It is à compressed, hi,
pressure world. and yet a world of
ре, a world that stands still and bal-
nees on a single point — The Fight.
Far to the South, another Ne; is
fighting his way into the State Univer
with the help of the U.S. Marshals and
the Federal Army, but if any of the 400
people here should ask you what you
think his chance: ‚ obviously they are
not thinking of Meredith but of Р:
son. Anyone who asks you how you th
it will turn out is not inqui about
the negotiations to free the Cuban pri
опет» or to solve the problem of divided
Berlin. Only The Fight is real in this
room. 1 find myself picking up countless
page worlds
cracking and steaming, turning instinc-
tively to the sports section. A sympa-
thetic journalist wanted to interview me
ional
"The fever of the fight was on me.
When Patterson's friend, Mickey Ala
singing The Star Span
with Floyd at attention with hi
patriotically like the good little graduate
of Wiltwyck, Liston in his white robe
lool
and cow
and working his massive shoulders si
ously inside his robe, without ever taking
his dark angry eyes off Patterson. You
will have to take this on trust, but my
note at that moment reads: “Patterson
may be the first fighter ever beaten by
The Star Spangled Banner." 1 don't
think Patterson was scared in the ord
nary sense of the word. But the diseui
and the defeatcar pointed cast into the
lonely night were ready. The fi
made was like a dying m
his eyes for
1 few extra mo
He had thought too long, and in his
quiet, divided panic he came to Liston
like an amateur, unable to suspend his
imagination or control it. This deprived
һ of speed of hand and foot and plan.
He bore in to meet his destruction. In
the first 30 seconds he was beaten. He
jabbed once, | Му forward
once with t ich" he could
never correct, missed three or
four oppo:
Liston
unities, and then landed with
one of those awful lefts that thudded
against Patterson's temple. We were close
enough to see the fight go out of Patter-
son's cyes. In the clinches Liston hurt
the boy-ch even on (h ms.
Two to the kidneys in
another clinch hurt Patterson more than
he would remember. He clutched for the
ropes and Liston knew he had him and
it was left-right uppercut (well executed)
and then left hook to the side of Pauer-
son's already sagging face. “Then I hit
hi ‘ood left hook," Liston was to say
later in the sweltering dressing room. It
was over before some of the celebrities
were in their seats or the bleacher gods
had adjusted their field gl
jostling, sardined press
photographers were kept waiting for 40
minutes, I stood an arm's length from
the crestfallen loser and could barely
hear his whispered answers. At this
moment racists were growing into an
ugly mob on the campus of Ole Miss
d the Federal Government was ас
tempting to arrest the Governor in the
most violent case of willful disregard of
Federal authority since the Civil War.
But here in this steaming, oppressive
room the vict ed}
delinquent. who. despite fame and
almost outlandish and barely deserved
fortune, had once agai position
and his pride. The questions about the
fight w
oll fast enough, he whispered. Liston
speed surprised him, He was hurt only
n his spirit, Were Liston s punches slow?
Then he threw a lot of slow punches,”
Patterson stid, unable to look at hi
inquisitors. The rematch? He would li
it as soon as possible. “Where
hold it — in a telephone booth?"
sportswriter muttered. “Floyd. a
you going back into seclusion again
There was a painful silence. Then Floyd
lowered his head and nodded. 1 think
even seasoned boxing writers were
little embarrassed Гог this neurotic Hora-
tio Alger whose childhood traumas had
robbed him of the realization of just how
lucky he was. Back into the cellar he
would crawl, back into the shadows, back
into the comforting dark, to i
bat and drcad di
his children and his mother would know
luxuries allowed only to the upper one
half of one percent. But the fact that he
never has been accepted as a champion
1 will yo down as a paper tiger will
haunt him through the mismatch
match and perhaps, poor, sick, foolish,
ious man, to the end of his days.
Next day's press conference produced
з was
* routine. He had not gotten
the New Liston — the one we may live
with for a long time—that is, if the
fight game survives its mounting scan-
dals. Miraculously overnight the scowl
g. growling, glaring, grunting Liston
had become a man of wit
with the patience of Job and the diplo-
ic touch of Adlai Stevenson.
It was the most bizarre postfight cor
ference I ever attended, The promoters
and the half-forgotten caterer-"manager"
Nilon drifted into an open and prolonged
argument about money matters, the sort
of thing Uncle Mike Jacobs would have
settled in his hotel bathroom, and not
with the world press enjoying Iront row
seats for the washing of dirty linen.
Bluceyed, tax hung Ingemar Johansson
peered in from the entrance but when
urged by а publicity staff member to
come forward and be photographed con-
gratulating the new champion and per-
haps challenge him publicly. Ingo pulled
away like a frightened deer and said in
his soft Swedish-English, "No, no, I stay
here, | no go in." He was rather more
resolute about this than he was about
getting up in the sixth round of the third
Patterson fight in Miami. 1 wasn’t sure
whom he w Liston or the
Revenue men.
Sonny Liston found his voice.
1 his humor, even if his pu
tied up by the Internal Re
with the total receipts of th
promoters, it seemed. had failed to file
à corporate income tax for 1961. And
there was the question of spreadi
smile
` was
fight. The
terson's bonanza over 18 years. W:
legit or a tax dodge? There are even
rumors that the Government is interested
to know if Sonny is still going steady
with Barney B r and his old p
Despite these gathering clouds that
may one day wash the fight racket down
the d . Liston presided with thi m
deur of Emperor Jones. Asked if he had
been surprised that the fight ended so
quickly, Liston’s d comedy was
top drawer: "No. I was surprised it
lasted as long as i Did Patterson
show any punching power? "The punch
he threw that 1 blocked seemed to have
some power behind it if it had landed."
Finally came the serious questions —
the ones that will affect Liston's future,
if not the future of the entire fight game
now under closer scrutiny than ever
before. What kind of champion did
Sonny intend to be? If die public would
accept him, he began. continuing the
thought that had seemed (o disturb
Patterson before the fight, he would
prove that he was really — "Ке" he
said. “Re— Jack [turning to Nilon).
you finish it for me.”
So that is the question and the shadow
over the heavyweight cham-
piouship, Here is Liston, on the lam
from Ark s to St. Louis to Philadel-
and now set to move once more
tuse of new trouble (or harassment?)
from the law, Liston who could be to
the Sixties what Louis was to the Thir-
and Forties and Marciano to the
Is he really re —? He doesn't
ed the mob, as did Carnera, to topple
his opponents for him. He can do that 143
PLAYBOY
144
is own pile-driving left hook, his
right uppercut and his fearful strength
in the clinches. But whose side is he on?
Nilon is his “adviser.” George Katz gets
10 percent for a brief period of Iront-
ing. What happened to the origi
sharcholders? Palermo? Frankie Carbo,
temporarily detained at Alcauaz? The
working press seem divided between the
he - paid - his- debt - so- give "іт a-chance
school and the cynics who believe once
you run with the John Vitales, the
fermos and Carbos of this corrupt world,
never get no
many Boy Scout and church luncheons
you attend.
The Patter
аке рас
seem more
July sparkl
ter how
ematch will have to
though the next one will
sputtering. Fourth of
an à moon shot. After
that perhaps Johansson will tike three
steps from his corner and [all dows
c y. despite the poem he pressed
into my hands signed “the next. cham-
piou of the world.” will have to grow
up and wait for Liston to grow old.
Sonny Liston is a conqueror with no
new worlds iu view. Only the ghost of
Louis past or a reconditioned Marciano
could stand up to him.
Meanwhile, the State of New York, in
mood to bur the besieged sport, has
been wondering out loud whether Sonny
Liston is genuinely free of the dark
iations that have clouded his career.
new champion needs no d
and false mustache to hide false pride.
But if boxing is to survive, as I continue
to hope, Sonny will have to face the one
question he stumbled over at his victory
press conference. Is Sonny Liston really
re ?
son
se be
Champagne Plus
(continued. from pa
59)
nt to serve food appro-
priate to that electric that always
seems to fill a room after the soft pop-
ping of the cork — iced Beluga cavi
rich pûtê de fois gras. and paper-thin
slices of prosciutto ham wrapped around
lengths of Christmas melon, You c
party, you'll w
depend on champagne, when it’s poured,
to upstage not only all other drinking
but the dining as well. Only а swallow
js necessary to make everyone feel like
echoing Dom Perignon's exultant excla-
mation that he was “drinking stars.”
All recipes are for one drin
PLAYBOY'S CHAMPAGNE OLD FASHIONED
Brat champ:
nd Marnier
orbidden Fruit liqueur
mon
Dash orange bitters
Into a frosted old fashioned glass, pour
bitters and liqueurs. Fill glass with ice-
cold champagne, stir very gently and
launch with lemon slice,
CORDIAL MEDOC CUP
1 oz. cordial medoc
1⁄4 oz. cognac
1 oz. lemon juice
14 teaspoon sugar
Iced. champagne
nge
cordial medoc, cog
juice
into
pieces of cracked ice. Fill with cham-
pagne. Place orange slice on top.
“But, darling, it's the night before Christmas!”
FRENCH 75
114 ozs, cognac
1 oz. lemon juice
| teaspoon sugar
Iced champagne
Shake cognac, lemon juice and sugar
with cracked ice. Strain into highball
glass filled with lame p acked
Fill to rim with champagne. For
collins fans, gin may be substituted lor
cognac.
ce of c
CHAMPAGNE. MANHATTAN
1 oz. whiskey
1⁄4 ол. sweet vermouth
Dash bitters
Iced. champagne
Brandied cherry
Stir the whiskey, vermouth and bitters
in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a
led champagne glass. Add cherry.
glass with champagne
lass.
MELBA COCKTAIL
М, oz. Himbeergeist (
Iced. champagne
Frozen raspberries thawed
Raspberry sherbet, hard frozen
Pour Himbeergeist and champagne
into pre-chilled champagne glass. Drop
a raspberry into the glass. With a fruit
baller, scoop out a single small ball of
the sherbet. Float it on top of champagne.
pberry brandy)
SPARKLIN
: GALLIANO
% oz. Liquéve galliano
1% teaspoon lemon juice
Iced champagne
Cucumber rind
Pour liquóre galliano and lemon juice
into pre-chilled champagne. glass. Stir.
Cut rind lengthwise. Each
piece should be about 11⁄ in. long and
1⁄4 im. wide. Drop cucumber rind
glass. Fill with champagne.
cucumber
CHAMPAGNE NOYAUX
14 or. crème de noyaux
Jordan almonds
1 teaspoon lime juice
Iced. champagne
1 slice lime
Place almonds, for as
you think you'll mak a saucepan
with cold water. Bring to a boil. Dr
Slip off almond skins. Place almonds
a pan in a moderate oven pre-heated at
370°. Toast for about 15 minutes or until
almonds are light brown. Avoid burning.
Pour crême de noyaux. and lime juice
into prechilled champagne glass. St
dd a toasted "0nd. 1 i
champ lice on top.
The pleasantly champagned espres-
ions ol approval from those guests who
have come to grapes with the subject at
hand should be enough to assure you
that the blends justify the means.
ny drinks as
а Гаҳ м
continuing the series on how to succeed with women without really trying
satire By SHEPHERD MEAD
“The first wi
c must be practicable .
+ «and serviceable.”
HOW TO SELECT YOUR FIRST WIFE
IF YOU ARE STILL WITH us we will assume you have де
cided to get married. Your problem, then, will be to
select your first wife, and to marry her quickly, since
she will not have the qualities that make lor a su
able fiancé
Belore w
list the qualities to look for, we had
best answer another frequent question:
SHALL | MARRY BENEATH MYSELF?
We must all face this question squarely
Try to look at yourself objectively. Make an hor
est but accurate estimate of your merits, charms and
abilities. Be sure to tally up your mental qualities,
the keen mind that is common to so many males.
Add to this sum your basic, simple maleness, which
is so fine. You will probably be faced with this fact,
as so many men are: You must marry beneath your-
self. There is no other direction in which to marry.
The problem usually becomes one of degree. How
far beneath you should you marry, and in wh
t
ction?
This leads us to the qualities to look for in the
first wife.
d
A FIRM, HEALTHY BODY
The first wile, as opposed to the fiancée, must be
p cable and serviceable. She is neither a toy, an
ornament, nor a playmate. She will be your wile
during the early, hard years before you can айога a
staff of servants. She will serve as mother, cook, house-
This
if she is nimble, six or seven hours of
maid, chauffeur, nurse and. charwoman. will
allow her.
sleep a night, ample for a sturdy girl.
It is best, before deciding definitely, to test for
firmness. Few of us would consider buying a grape
fruit without squeezing it — yet how ma ke the
ny m
far more important choice of a close companion in a
sloppy, hit-or-miss fashion?
Using the thumb and forefi xen gentle pres
sure along certain key muscles. A girl with good mus-
cular tone will wear well and last lor ye:
neglected. occa:
will usually mai а cheerlul disposi
long hours and hard work.
"Davie, you pinched me!"
"Oh, sorry, Phoebe. Must have slipped."
“Well, stop!”
“Have you ever thought of +
exercise?
a bit more
ENDURANCE
"Though the fiancée, as we have seen, needs occa
sional bursts of strength, the first wife must have
endurance, must be good over the long haul.
There is no known method of testing this
ccu-
rately, no way of telling by the cut of her
speak, how she will sail on a Ic
However,
b, so to
beat to windward.
during times ol
carelul observatio
a marathon series of cocktail parties
tion.
during Christmas week, will give some indic
Observe not the sparkle of personality nor the tinkle
of surrounding laughter, but signs of physical deteri
ion, sagging of the diaphragm and abnormal
clinging to or leaning upon doorjambs or male
DOGLIKE DEVO"
ох
g qualit
no place in the first wile, who will be
time for unproductive merriment.
You will be looking for a girl who is carnest, cor
scientious, and possessed of (concluded on page 157)
s of the perlect fiancée have
lowed little
145
PLAYBOY
146
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(continued from page 116)
You won't get anything out of him.
“Oh well, the actual fight is the least
of it. It's the way the stone is cut and
set that counts,” I told him.
“This is going to be a bum fight.”
Indeed, a vague dread that this might
prove to be so seemed to be haunt
ing the Sheraton-Chicago Hotel, where
Headquarters was buried in the base-
ment. Cus D'Amato had flown in, smi
ing like a pumpkin-ghost under his
Augustan haircut.
“How do you feel about things in
general?” I asked him
“There are no things in general at
the moment. There is one thing in par-
ticular only.”
“The fight of course.”
"Of course.”
A cert
on the whole, no.
“You look a little tired, Mr. D'Amato.”
“I am not in the least tired. H 1 were
«+. I have devoted my life to this. It is
my life.
“Patterson must win?’
“I hope so. I believe so. Ye
“IE by some chance —
“Excuse me. As a certain general
said, there is no alternative to victory.
1 cannot think in any other term:
refuse to think in any other ter
“Is it true that you have repeatedly
begged Patterson not to m
You аге a writer. Do you n
we everything you read?"
I've been watching Liston. A man
would be wel
that left hand,
“So. A lvised to keep
of a steamroller. And so а man
is not run over by a steamroller.”
Prognoscs were con i
experts, now, curiously s
anxiety is natural. But
bel
the
Iling of vir-
tue. Tommy Loughran felt that for the
stke of unborn generation
should be utterly obliterated; he si
his professional reputation that Patter-
son would knock him cold in 60
of the first round. Gunboat S
Liston shouldn't be
mile of any respectable prize ring, and
predicted an overwhelming victory for
Paterson. Jack Dempsey, remembering
the time he beat Willard, felt that by the
sume token Patterson should beat Liston.
Gunboat Smith said the same about the
time Ле beat Willard. Jim Braddock
prophesied a victory on points for Pat-
terson in 15 rounds, vaguely hinting that
this is how he might have beaten Willard
if they had met. Rocky Marciano said
; and although
lard he had cut down
men in his time. And Jess
llowed within a
he didn't meet Wil
even bi,
Willard h
give Liston
wouldn't they kindly leave him out of
The men of hindsight — the only really
wise ones — saved their diagnoses for the
post-mortem and their emotions for the
epitaph, making ready to tell you, later
Е and
when. Ancient Doc Kearns, all passion
prudently spent and every bit of it
booked and accounted for, kept as still
as a lizard on a stone; only those who
knew him knew that if he chose he
might yet dart out a deadly tongue and
snap up an unsuspecting flyweight. His
eyes aren't what they used to be; but
oh, how that man can listen! He knows
that all is rumor, hearsay, flimflam and
conjecture. And now it had come to his
that Las Vegas money was on the
contender and that Frank Sinatra him-
self had bet a fortune on Liston.
"Don't let it fool you,” said he. "Rumor
weapon here, the as оп Wall
self
id Patterson ought to
thorough hiding — and
on, what would have happened
it was the same in Jeffries day
the same when Johnson stopped Bury
and when Willard stopped Johnson, a
when Dempsey stopped Willard,
Tunney . .
Doc was getting into the million-dollar
gates, now. He shut np.
Ancillary rights—I know all about
ancillary rights” Harold Conrad, the
promoter's press agent, w 1g into
a telephone hooked over his left shoulder.
“Listen T
Meanwhile, Ben Bentley, Conrad's as
sistant, white face crumpled with loath-
ing and mouth twisted and tortured with
ness and disgust, spoke in a hearty,
happy, rich, mellifluous voice into
other telephone: "Why, sure, sure! Hell,
Jack, it's been a long, long time! Good to
He spits out an
snarling, purrs,
ck 600 reporters
into three rows; but for you
"Sit down, sit down," said Conr
beckoning to nd displacing а py
mid of papers. "How's it coming?
the sandman of this promoters’ dream of
a prizefight. Never was such money in-
volved. He anticipated $5,000,000 gross.
In 320 theaters, precisely 978,234 people
were to pity six dollars apicce to see the
fight televised. Another $1,000,000 was
expected Irom other ancillari
Reiner-Smith Enterprises had gu
fighters and promoters a minimal
$2,000,000. The event w being pro-
jected by Telstar. "A Moon Shot!” cried
Mr. Smith. “After the purses are an-
nounced, every young athlete in the
world will dream of becoming a fighter!”
"How do you find it?" I asked Conrad.
"Good," said Conrad. "lt has got to
be good. It had better be good.” He
pointed with a thumb to a locked door
behind him, which sealed à tiny room
with a pigeonhole through which
i
уй».
пате...
“On the other hand, people always remember my
147
PLAYBOY
148
perpetually passed. waving money, and
voices sounded crying for seats at any
price up to $100.
“You're a Patterson man, of cou
"Of course [ am. How does Liston
look:
id, "You might just as well
bbas!” What about
Con
shout ‘Give us B;
lunch?”
t to see a man on Rush Street.
xe got to go and see Jack Nilon
in Philadelphi
“Now what the hell for?”
“Just to
"There's nothing to see. ]
simply doesn’t exist. Nobody can make
anything of that cl
“He tried to publicize himself once. It
couldn't be done. The publi m
something with an image.”
А hero?”
‘An idol. Hero worship comes later,”
said this peddler of dreams. “I wish you
luck.”
In point of fact, I was following the
grapevine. At a place on Rush Street
there is to be found a man, call him
Anonimo, who knows all about Liston.
Anonimo has grown gray in the insecure
ad irresponsible business of hustling.
He has been a bootlegger's errand-boy, a
salesman of potato-peclers,
r's aide-de-camp, a pilot bird for
floating crap-games, and whatnot. But
he likes to think big and large figures
c sweet in his mournful little mouth.
'A 2,090,000-buck guarantee ain't bad,”
he said, judiciously, as we sat in a
booth that smelled of burnt fat close by
the machine you put a quarter into for a
can of hot tomato soup. “But 1 know it
for a fact, there's at least $20,000,000
being bet on this fight, at the latest esti-
mate, Now look; nobody gambles for fun
iymore. When the boys lay it dow
the millions, they play to win, not for
kicks."
“Mea
win?
“Not necessarily, because gambling
ain't just on a win or a lose. There's
rounds, there's points. And you've got to
remember the odds. If there's 20 Gs on
Liston, there’s 20-plus on Patterson. But
the smart money's on
will most likely win. But whichever way
the cat jumps, Sonny's the sucker. He
stands to get 12% ent of the gross.
They say they'll gross $5,000,000. His
num guarantee is 200 Well, OK,
ive Sonny 5700.000. Where does
he stand? He's into Jack Nilon for a 150
Gs, to begin with. Over and above that,
1 hear he owes Blinky atter of 30—40.
"There's your 400 Gs cut in half, to begin
with, But Unde Sam don’t take that
mo consideration. No, the taxes
come off the top, and they add up to, sity
350 of that 400 Cs. Off the remai
50 Gs, cut various incidentals. So Sonny's
got 30 Gs. Debts outstanding? And I
mean the sort of debts it doesnt do you
bit of good to go bankrupt for. Call it
200 Gs — $200,000! And a champ has got
to live it up a bit — put up a background
— and that comes h man, high! So
they promote him, but
into the millions, like Joe Louis. But the
more he cams the less he's got. The pro-
moters get their piec
like Sonny, he's the sucker.
“АП this I could have figured for my-
self,” I said. "I understand you know
something about Liston personally."
“There was some id, ng one
of his hands. That's why he all of a
sudden got to be so careful of them.
"Thats why there's a 24-hour double
d on him. It was a strictly business-
man’s idea, to secure an investment, like
they say. There's two sides to every deal.
Just bust one of his hi bit. Bust or
g Liston has simply got to
“Every time I go out with the boys [от a few drinks my
wife accuses me of working late at the office."
no bust. with 55,000,000 in the pot he's
got to fight. That scheme came out of
Vegas. But I think they dropped it. I
never knew Sonny personall
it wrong. My cousin Lou was
Sonny, at Jefferson City. Lou
now. I'll give you an address where you
can find him. I'll write you a note..."
Thus, having got Nilow's unlisted
number out of somebody's little. black.
notebook, I went to Philadelp
met that strange, elfin chai
tral ground, in the ba the airport.
He did give an interview to a magazine
writer once before, but it came out like
a kind of crochetwork. Such pattern as
there was consisted in formless holes con-
nected by strained threads.
k Nilon is а multimi
terer. How did he become one? He sim-
ply took two ham sandwiches,
asa fundamental principle ч
ng grains of wheat on the
chessboard, parlayed them
into billions of ham sandwiches. How
did he distribute? Skip a square. How did
he push sales, overcome competition, get
concessions? Skip a square. Hence the
lacunae, The Nilons make a closed cor-
poration of the utmost respectability,
worth some $10,000,000 a усаг.
His eyes, swollen with fatigue, looked
like halfopen walnuts. He would have
been none the worse for a shave. The
washed-out green cardigan he had been
wearing in the ring at Aurora still hung
on his fleshless shoulders as on a wire
hanger. He wondered why | had come
all that way to see him.
I said, "I want you to tell me how I
can make some money out of this figh
just like th
"Bet on Listo:
“What round?
he sixth.
“I should have guessed the fourth,
said.
‘Sixth, I d aid Jack Nilon,
“Tell me—is there really a plot
nst Liston?
He blinked. “A plot? You mean to
hurt him? Liston — I watch every mouth-
ful that boy eats. Do you know, I ex-
amine and prepare every steak with my
own hands — cook it! J watch the water
he drinks, 1 buy the purest spring water
obtainable, You saw him drinking a cup
of tea? 1 supervise every tea bag that
goes into soak. Some people would ovcr-
look the matter of ice, and fill the freezer
ways with tap water. I thought of that,
too. Sonny loves icc. 1 personally fill
those trays with spring water, out of
jonaire ca-
ар:
scaled bottles."
these are very re-
"I'm a very particular man.
“You aren't worried in case something
might happen to Listoi
Its a matter of principle. When it
comes to what I give somebody to cat
and drink, I can't be too careful. Fastid-
ious. Besides, I've got to win this fight.”
“You don't feel any anxiety?" I asked.
Jot on the whole, no.
When you ‘got to’ — is it money
invested that concerns you?
No. I've put a lot of money into
Liston. But I've dedicated myself. It's my
id ambition to have a heavyw
champion. Just that.”
“No wonder you look a little tir
Nilon."
“I'm not tired."
M
lutely
“Otherwi;
“There can't be any otherwise,”
“Is it wue Cus D'Amato never wanted
Patterson to meet Li
“Absolutely. They've been avoiding
this for years.”
“What do you think about what they
say concerning Liston's ster connec-
tions?
Nobody ever said a
about it. What gangster connections? 1
haven't seen any gangsters around. I
don't think I'd know one if I saw him
Would you? 1 would
Т saw some on TV once,"
"I don't have a lot of time for that.
I must ask the kids about it. Sonny is
а good, clean boy. You mustn't believe
thing you read in the papers.
^I put you down as a dedicated man,
then.”
“Right.”
“A businessman with а passion for a
good clean game."
“Righ
So, eventually, I made my way to Lou
Anonimo's address on the South Side of
Philadelphia. and found a small, dapper
man in а stingy-brim hat, who said that
any friend of Joe's was a friend of hi
Chatty, articulate, discreetly gay, a
you could introduce
companied me to a chophouse. It was
tue, he said, that he had been locked up
tentiary about
ccount of a misundersi
Deeply shocked by the carelessness of
some people who locked their cars but
left the ventilation windows unfastened,
Lou had pointed out to a friend how
easy it was to slip your hand in, unlock
the door and take out valuables in the
backseat. He was only demonstrating.
Frightened out of his wits by a rude
policeman, he had тип away. Appre-
hended, it was found that somebody else
of the same name and with identical
fingerprints had been caught doing the
same thing several times in the past; as
ult of which coincidence Lou
Auonimo became a prisonmate of Sonny
Liston,
Liston's story?” said Lou. “He didn't
have one. He'd already done a у d
he was only about 17. He was 16 when
ything to me
1 said.
1951 on
they gave him four five-year terms to run
concurrently, A matter of mugg
St. Lou. Why, a kid of 16 gets caught
mugging here in the East, they just beg
him with tears in their сусу not to do
ain and teach him electronics. elt
City pen stinks. It was luxury to Liston,
though. He enjoyed taking a bath. He
even liked the grub, which is horrible.”
“They tell me he was a bad prisoner.”
“He was a model prisoner. They made
him messenger runner. He'd never had it
so good. He came from Pine Blull, Ar-
He was one of 25 children. His
old man was very much against sin and
beat him with a strap every day of his
life because he looked like he was think-
ing evil thoughts. Sonny scared the hell
out of me, once. He never much of a
talkc as just standing look:
ny at noth cular, and Sonny
bellows at me, "What you lookin’ at?”
I tell him, ‘Nothing.’ He says, "Well, you
stop thinkin’ thoughts!’ He doesn't mean
to shout. He's just got that kind of voice,
like a alligator. He couldn't read or
write. His family was what they call
subminimal, 1 think. Mi
for Worse Than Beasts; subminimal is
a step lower down. It refers to their
standard of livi +. My God, Sonny's
in for a gay old time of it, if he gets to
be champ! Over and above everything
else — 24 brothers and sisters! Probably
e or 10 more by now, if his Daddy is
still around.”
“Is it true Liston was backward? 1
mean, retarded?
“No. His brain was a
I think. Only it was
erage so-so,
d of blocked up.
Father Ste tried to teach him his
ABCs, but it didn't take. So he taught
him boxing. ‘That took. He got paroled
in 1952. Father Stevens and Monroe
rison and one other went sponsor
him. Call the other one. Number
ther Stevens
arrison and
for
ison didn't kno
Three had
Harrison's good lady got sick, a
sold his half to Nu
500 bucks, Then Number Three went
partners in Liston with John J. Vi
What did Sonny know? From noth
There's your kickoff. The St. Lou cops
told Sonny if he didn't get out of town
he'd be found in a drain. They meant it,
too. Most of the marks he got are from
the cops’ breakdown gangs, not from the
ring. So Number Three sold Liston to
Pep Barone, and Pep took him to Philly.
The rest — your guess is as good as mine
ТИ tell you one 0 nd I'm a man
that uses his eyes: Liston's no hood. He's
a baby, a big baby. And theyll treat
him as such, the poor bastard.
"What do you think of Patterson
"He had better breaks than Sonny.
But Patterson's the. kind. that. deserves
breaks. He's a good boy, sensible. Sonny
never had any breaks and never de-
served any breaks, and never will get
any breaks. But ] li him — don't ask
me why.
"Instinct?" I suggested. “Patterson
wants to be born again. Liston wants
to be born; period.
Then there is the matter of "hunger"
in a fighter. Little Euclid, the bookic,
told me about it in Philadelphia. "Doc
149
PLAYBOY
150
“George always opens his presents the night before . . ."
said Little Euclid, "likes to
keep his fighters hungry.
Little Euclid was amused when he said
it. “By ‘hungry’ Doc didn't mean short
on grub; what he meant was, worrying
about the day after tomorrow, the steak
alter next — anxious. Not overanxious,
just anxious enough— hungry on the
installment. plan, kind of. Oh, the Doc
was a genius — but a genius! ‘They used
to he could measure the miseries
with a micrometer. And it paid off. It'll
pi п Liston's case, too. He'll always
bc just worried enough."
“There's two sides to every angle,"
he continued. "If you don't see the
other one, where's the angle? 1 mea
look at Patterson's point of view. Liston
had it rough all his life, he was pushed
around ever since he can remember, but
compared to Patterson he's carefree.
Toss Liston a side of beef and he'll gnaw
on it until he goes to sleep. Has Liston
ever been humiliated? Not on your life!
But Floyd —believe me, his humiliation
has been something terrible lately. 1
ask you, as a man of the world, how
would you like it if you owned a cle
apartment house, and so vou go
the front entrance, and in the lobby
а uniformed doorman on your own pay
roll says, "Use the service entrance’?
"E should be so disgusted I'd refuse
to take the rent out of spite," I said.
nd how would you like it if you
had an estate with the millionaires in
Scarsdale and your neighbor built a
fence out of spite, and so you was put
to the humiliation of building a fence
twice as high, like Floyd had to do?
"My feelings would be so outraged
Га give away all my property and go on
relief in prote
Little Euclid went on
"To be a property owner ain't all
honey, believe me. Here some tenant
gripes about a faucet, there somebody
else leaks through the ceiling — its a
responsibility, a terrible responsibility
A guy figures a legitimate angle to raise
rents 15 percent, so the tenants hold a
mass meeting and they go to the housing
uthoritics. You're working out in the
camp, and all of a sudden some screw-
ball calls about the drains —"
“— Did this really happen to Pat-
terson?”
id
Kearns,”
I say it did? But it must be on
mind: you can't just own property
nd forget it — it ain't in human nature,
it ain't civilized.”
"Docs Patterson handle his own in-
vestments
“No, and that's just where the worry
comes in," said Little Euclid, “be
that's where the poor bastard lies awake
ight worrying, "Who's handl
all n g my
property tonight, and how? Because, be-
lieve me, for every angle you can figure,
a handler can figure two. On top of it
all, a guy has got to think about his
public image, yet. He's got to do all
sorts of things repulsive to the likes of
you and me . . . like smiling, like being
пісе, like shaking hands. It’s no joke,
being respectable. And what's the result?
What thanks do you get? They call
you yellow.
“Patterson isn't yellow," I said, "he's
preoccupied.”
Yes, that's where Cus D'Amato is off
the beam. Doc Kearns would have han
dled Floyd better. If the Doc had had
that boy, we'd be three heavyweight
champs ahead by now. Cus don't know
the facts of life. Do you feed a cock
before he fights? Do you give a horse
oats before а ra h Believe me, to
give a fighter a apartment house is а
terrible mistake. Hold a second mort-
gage, let him hope, let his heart go
into his mouth when theres a knock
on the door — that way he fights beuer.
Liston is a hungry lion. Cus made a big
1 said. "A poor
man will fight to get rich, but not
hall so hard as а rich man will fight
to stay rich.
"Men like Rocky Marciano don't grow
on trees. And look at Tunney: He puts
а few bucks in the bank and qu
But cold! Is this a fighter’
“He should h ed on,
until he g
suggested,
А fighter like that betrays his public
age,” said Little Euclid. Relishing this
phrase, he repeated it, “He betrays his
public image.”
І recall a somber afternoon a
weeks carlier, when Patterson w
ing his camp in New York Su
making ready for Chicago — a martyred-
looking young man, smiling as if he had
weights hooked to the corner
mouth, while the last lingering reporters
ed for him to say someth
Lam а man of principle,” he said.
“Everything | do | base on principl
Where is à man without his principles:
“Are you fighting Liston as a matter
of principle?” I asked.
few
fighter. hting Liston because I'm
Champiot m-
pionship on principle. Yes, it is a matter
of principle, too. Like that fence 1 put
up in Rockland County. My neighbor
wanted to segregate me, so he put up
a fence between his property and mine.
On principle, 1 put up a higher fenc
than his, right against it. It cost a lot
of money. 1 didn’t care what it cost.
It was a matter of principle.
That's why you had words with Mr.
asked Harold Conrad, slyly
and 1 must defend my cha
Fugazy
hortatory.
Yes, in Florida. I threw up the fight,
1 threw up everything. Fugazy arranged
to separate the races. ‘No, on principle,’
I said; and | packed up, and | came
home and 1 don't want anything more
to do with Fugazy!"
An AP man asked. "Jimmy Cannon
used to like you. Now he doesn't seem to
like you anymore. In fact he just about
said you were the worst fighter in the
world. How come?"
“L don't know how come!” cried Pat-
terson, in something like anguish, "I
t read his piece. I don't want to
се. 1 won't read i
Is it true that President Kennedy said
you ought to fight Liston
"I don't feel 1 discussing any talks
I might have had with the President
at this moment."
1 asked.
“I just don't feel 1 it,” said Pat-
terson. "And as for principle — I've got
to do what I think is right, haven't 17
If you go on turning the other cheek
you never progress, do you?"
"Wasn't it Khrushchev who said tl
somebody asked.
Patterson didn't seem to he
АР man asked, "Is it true that y
if you lost this fight youd never give
another nickel to the Church?’
“Whoever said that PH sue for defa-
mation!" cried Patterson. “I've given
thousands. I'll give morc. On principle,
ГИ sue."
“I don't believe the stories about you
ving a glass chin." said the AP n
“How cin Floyd have a glass chin?
Conrad demanded. "Haven't you seen
the films of his fights? Whenever he's
been hit on the chin, hasn't he practi-
cally always got up ag;
You're not actually afraid of Liston,
are you?" I asked.
Patterson said, "No. I ат not. But
even if I were, I'd still fight him on
principle. You wait. Let everybody wait.
I've got it worked ош. PY anticipate
every move he plans to make. Whatever
Liston does, ГЇЇ do the same опе tenth
of a second sooner!”
“You plan a knockout, a qu
out?’
“Yes, 1 do. This fight will not go the
distance. I have my plans.
“For after the fight?
“After the fight 1 am going to buy
another apartment house. I have all the
papers drawn up — insurance — every.
th His eyes were fixed on a spot
the middle distance. A little man dressed
in black is on the w;
“A priest!” whispered the AP man,
with a kind of awe.
And even at this stage it was apparent
that to the soul-searching Patterson, this
fight was something in the nature of a
penance; and when it was paid, nothing
would have been proved and nothing
bought; and whatever the poor devil
thought he had to atone for would al-
ways rim his light, unbanished.
No principle involved
k knock-
151
PLAYBOY
152
SAHL ON PLAYBOY
Hugh M. Hefner. So I walked over there
and sat down, and I noticed he was wear-
ing a black armband for Shou Business
Ilustrated, but 1 didn't say anything to
him about it, He was sucking on his
ipe, kind of philosophically, and we sat
there and talked sort of man-to-man. We
talked the way guys talk, when they're
together. You know.
1 said: “Hey, what's happening?”
And he said: “Hey, wha'd'ya say’
Then we got into a serious discussion
about the search for the perfect woman,
and he told me he'd been searching all
week. I noticed they were holding а
Playboy Séance at the next table — one of
the members put his hands on the table,
and another member put his hands
table and then a Bunny
T ned. The table didn't move, but the
Bunny did.
We were still talking philosophically,
when three Bunnies came out of the
kitchen carrying a small cake with a
candle on it, and they brought it over to
the
LTT HEA
(continued from page 119)
our table and started singing Happy
Birthday to Hefner and he started
blushing. It was his 35th birthday. So 1
reminded him that he was old enough
now to run for the Presidency — that is,
if he would be willing to step down. He
said that he'd thought about that, but
that the orientation was alien to his pri-
mary areas of interest.
‘Then he told me that he was planning
а new Playboy Panel for the June issue
and he wanted me to p:
You see, PLAYBOY has these panel discus-
sions every few months—a David Suss-
kind sort of thing— and they record
them оп tape, then edit them and pub-
lish them in the magazine. The last one
I participated in was on the subject of
Amcrican humor, and it didn't work out
too well. because we kept theorizing in-
stead of proving by example. Steve Allen
and Jonathan Winters and Mike Nichols
took part and it was mostly а lot of talk
— which is the way panel discussions
often wind up — unless you're carcful.
I think it's an outrageous insult to Playboy
Clubs all over America!!”
But Hefner said, "I have a new onc
that I want you to participate in, and I
think you'll like the subject — it's to be
on the Womanization of America.”
So I said, "The what?"
And he said, “It’s a verb I made up.
It means that women dominate our cul-
ture and I want to find out if men resent
id, "We do, we do!”
"Well, we're holding the
panel discussion at the Playboy Building
tomorrow afternoon at three, Сап you
make it?”
I told him I could and the next after-
noon I dropped by the rabbit hutch on
East Ohio Strect. 1 went directly up to
Mr. Hefner's office, which is shaped like
a handball court, but with all-walnut
pancling, and shoji screens, and Herman
Miller furniture and a boomerang-shaped.
desk. He asked me if I was ready for the
Panel, and I said I was, so he took me
into the Panel Room, which had paneled
walls — naturally — and a big conference
table with a tape recorder in the middle
of it, and there was an elaborate bar and
a bartender, with a rabbit emblem on his
shirt, and most of the Panel was already
seated around the conference table dis-
cussing the Womuanization of America.
Hefner introduced me around the
table to the other Panel members: “This
is Dr. Theodor Reik. [“How do you do.”]
And Margaret Mead. [Nice catching up
with you."] And that’s Norman Mailer
sitting over there, and. Alexander King."
“The Duke of Windsor and Jack
Kerouac should be in later with Judge
Bazclon and Louis Armstrong.” He gets
all these people together for his Playboy
Panels — Hef does. Then he s "m
going to leave you now. I have to go
down and look over some layouts anyway.
ape recorder and he left.
n to feel very uninhibited,
and I went over to the bar to get a drink
and the discussion started.
Alexander King said to me, "You're
from California, aren't you?"
Yeah. You know. I try to
So he said to me, "Are you aware that
the divorce rate in Los Angeles County is
68 percent?
And I said, "Yeah, I kno}
So he said, "And as if that's not bad
enough, they keep getting married. Why
is that?"
So I said, "I don't know. I guess we
believe in love."
He said, “That's not a valid reason."
And then he said, “The trouble is— peo-
ple marry too young.”
So I said, “What?”
And he said, “That's right. A woman
gets married at 19 and at 28 she's а differ-
ent person.”
So І "Gee, that's a splendid ex-
ample.” And а lot of people were ap-
plauding at the table.
So he said,
one in particular. I just made that up.
Those are often the best statistics.
So I said, "Really?"
And then King said, “I want my
daughter to live with six guys before she
chooses a husband.”
So everybody on the Panel is shi
now, and they're asking all the ques
to make them feel good. You know, lik
“What will people think —
with six men?!” And: “What about con-
vention: ‘What about middle-class mo-
rality?" “What about our mores?!” You
know, he loves that.
So he said, “I don't give a damn about
our mores, our hypocritical middle-class
values, and all that!”
So alter everybody got through with
that, we got down to the real question:
“Do you have a daughter?”
“No.”
Then the discussion started really get-
ting complicated, and Dr. Reik asked,
Don't you think that most automobiles
are sold because women like the two-tone
color schemes of the interiors?”
So I said, “What do you mean
So he said, “You know, decorative seat
covers, and like thai
So 1 said, "No, they're all digging
bucket seats today — it's the time of the
sports car. You know, with that business
between the seats, and the phony stick
shift and everything,
So he said, “Well, I can see I'm going
to have to be a little more blunt. Don’t
you think the Edsel failed because of the
Freudian?
m of the car?”
“I think the Edsel
a Pont
overt symb
So I said,
cause
wasn't as good as a Р
So Dr. Reik said,
determinatis
So I said, “Ye Й
So he said, "You're a Marxist!” Апа
then he saw I was offended, so he said,
"Aren't you?"
So Т said, "I don't know. If you can't
get work, I'm not. Otherwise, I'l go to
Albania with the others."
"The discussion went on a litte further
and then Mailer said, "Why is it when I
walk into offices they're filled h women
typing? Why are offices filled with
garet Mead said, "Bc morc tol-
nt. Maybe women have to make a
ing — and they also contribute to so-
ty by typing in office
So Alexander King said, “That isn’t
why women work in offices — they just
work there to mect guys and get mar-
ried.”
And I was sitting there, you know, and
L was thinking: If women just work in
offices to get married, maybe they're in-
incere about typing. Maybe they don't
care about filing or any of the things
that are important to me.
So then Dr. Reik said, “If a woman
works in an office, that's OK, but if she
continues in an executive capacity
through her productive years, that's not
to meet men so much as to be a man.”
So I figured, well, I'd better say some-
ig about this. So I put my hand up.
Yes," said Dr. Reik, "what is it, young
man?"
And I said, "Maybe they hire women
to work in offices, because women work
cheaper than men
thi
So now they're all sitting at the other
end of the table together and they're all
saying, "You are a. Marxist, aren't you
So I said,
“Well, I'm not at all sure
do you think?
at's your position?
So he said, "Young man, I'm a Freud-
ian, and that is a great deal better than
being a Marxist.
And they all started agreeing with
him: "Oh, yes, much better . . . that's a
great deal better . .
So I said, "Well, I don't accept a con-
clusion that easily. I'm going to get a
ruling on that, I'll call Mr. Hefner.”
So I picked up the intercom and I
asked for Hefner and he answered right
away: "Photo Lab — Hefner here.” (I
kind of figured you would be. Matching
up those three different girls in a com-
posite, ch?)
So I said, "Mr. Hefner, is it better to
be a Freudian or a Marxist?”
So he said, "Well, I would say . . . [I
could hear him puffing on his pipe philo-
sophically] . .. that it is better to be a
Freudian.
So I it, c'mon, give me some
support, will ya?”
He said, “I can't. I have to be objec-
tiv
So I
Freudian?
So then he said, “Because if Karl Marx
had gone to see Freud three times a week,
he could have talked this thing out and
Russia would be all right today.”
id, "Isn't that a little oversimpli-
d, “Why is it better to be a
"I'm sorry, that's rLAynoy's
position.” And he hung up.
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PLAYBOY
154 occasions. Wh
CAREER WOMAN (continued from page 118)
of failing hearts and exploded. arteries
—if her boss is a homosexual, she will
know his boyfriend or boyfriends and use
that information to her own advantage.
For the career woman is without truc
telligence and has but a solitary goal:
her own personal, particular success. She
is as ruthless as the Hun, She operates by
apo methods. To work under her
and is, for a male, more humiliat-
ing than to work in a cotton field as a
black slave, for while she wears the judo
master's brown belt in interoffice poli-
ticking, she simultancously demands chi
alry at the hands of her befuddled male
m Her desk pulpit and a
judge's bench and the chair behind it
is a throne, She hands out holy ordin:
without. ethic or principle but with the
. solely, of advancing her perso
status. She sentences her employees, not
to merit, but according to
they advance her name or
her idiot eminence. She is after
ions.
threate:
power and she is achieving it, for she
Americans
Impotence:
ights as
has reduced most extant male
to the next nearest state to
an acceptance of her usurped
valid and her due.
The career woman, usually, has been
divorced — often several times. If she
currently married, it is only because the
married state will help her carcer. Her
kids — if any — are under the supervision
of sitters, nurses and indigent rela 5.
Whatever their state, the career woman
has long since thrown them to the wolves.
For, in the single-minded pursuit of
power and influence, she and her blind-
folded male accomplices have already fed
America’s youngsters to Moloch: The
tots sit about, building up appetites for
merchandise, their innocent little minds
"T V.spellbound by what motivational re-
searchers have learned is most likely to
ivet tots up to and through commercials:
scenes of murder, mayhem, massacre and
similar children’s-hour
They call her “brilliant,” this highly
paid Circe in our midst. If she is, how-
ever, she is also, outside her career, more
ignorant than institutionalized Mongol-
oids. She may, that is, know everything
about traverse-curtain. fabrics; but she
cannot tell а diplodocus from Debussy
and thinks ion-exchange has something
to do with foreign money.
On her throne she sits, this skirtarirc
squid, dh tycoon, caring only about
herself and. heedless of the damage she
is doing to the national psyche. From
office to office she spike-heels her girdled
way and every time her step falls on tile,
terrazzo or hardwood, another bolt is
tightened on the coffin of our culture,
Her operation is not, as a rule, spec
tacular. It is one of interception multi
plied by millions and perhaps billions of
ver goods and services
are marketed in which women, children
(and, by now, all men who have been
denied manhood and are consequently
part child and womanish as well) have
any interest, the careerist interferes, add-
ing her so-called “feminine touch" and
her note of “womian-appeal” to all man-
ner of products, from boats to boots,
autos to automatic dishwashers, inevi-
tably at the expense of masculine func
tionalism. And at every one of myriad
Opportunities she hoodwinks the con-
sumers into believing that what they
need and want is what she, the organiza-
an, says they need and want.
procal activity and each
instance of it slightly alters both the
public demand and the product — goods
Or services — to better suit the womanoid
(but never truly womanly) objectives of
these distaff diminishers of man's estate.
She is, in a sense, a Norn, snipping and
weaving individual fates. But even the
legendary Norns knew the difference
between men and women, whereas their
carcer-crazed counterparts do not believe
in men, or that maleness is justified, and
so have no real idea of what a woman
is or should be.
Each one engages іп a ceaseless strug-
¢ to unman men and, by every minute
stratagem her calculating mind can de-
‚ seeks to make women the primary
sex. If she is not a stylist she is, mini-
mally, à style influence. It is her small,
perpetual interception, for example, that
took the automobile — once all man's
and a practical replacement for his
wagons and buggics— out of а masculi
sphere of influence and had it repea
redesigned until it became an ui
‘hued, becushioned, four-wheeled
The creep of this she-pox on all the
artifacts of civilization is insidious and
all-pervading. Indeed, the career woman
may cven be present on the sales floor
itself. In the city where I live it is а
woman — and her dashing, desirable pi
ture in her ads— who has outsold all
the area's men in one car specialt
Cadillacs. Her ad has boasted as much,
for ycars.
No. our virago. our villainess, our
butter-crunch tyrant is by no means con-
tent to do her reshe-ing of everything
and everybody
She is also, and often pr
rily, a Buyer.
Annually, or twice- or thrice-annually,
she leaves her business place, her fur-
thick rugs V blinds, beautiful
secretary (a prop of nearly every one of
the breed) and her recasting couch (if
she is still of couchy endowment) and
goes forth into the wide world to cx
hume, steal, borrow, blackjack or other-
wise acquire the aesthetic ideas of men
living and dead which will provide her
with “inspirations” for next year’s mode
—in coats, patios, eggbeaters, car-door
handles, jewelry, candy, car-seat covers:
You name it.
In her, two antithetical qualities meet
— two mutually exclusive absolutes. Like
most all her American sisters she is
the antisexual distillate of a culture
inally Puritan, and then decadently
ın. Yet hers is also a culture where
the long rejection, vilification and gen-
eral denial of sex ha
to ooze into artificial and
spicuousness, to become,
own ica And ihe tease, when
amined, is everywhere employed in
America not to accomplish what it
gests — an ever more abundant loving —
but to scll things.
The career woman embodies a total
prudishness coupled with an absolute
vulgarity, and in so doing personifies
better than any other group that aspect
of America which invariably strikes vis
iting foreigners: a vulgarity as vast as
our very continent and then, incredibly
combined, the prudishness, the prissi
ness, the shearing censorship and hateful
sexchostility of our heritage. We exploit
sex but reject its experience: it is fam-
boyant asan American image, yet forbid
den as a fact. In all history, the cenu
urge of men and women has never befor
been so tanializinely acknowledged апа
then so violently redirected, to lesser,
substitute activities such as the purchase
of dishwashers or impulse buying in
supermarkets.
Our homes and gardens churn, throb,
buzz, wheeze and snarl with laborsaving
devices. Our ladies have not only been
emancipated from political thrall bur,
virtually, freed from the old, hard chores
of homemaking and housekeeping. Elec
tricity does everything from mixing our
daiquiris to banishing our garbage. We
urbanized, suburbanized or exui
ve forced sexuality
in eflect,
ended the exile of nearly everybody, al-
most everywhere. We ought to be enjoy-
ing our boasted abundance
affluence.
nd arrogant
"re so nervous, ар
aut, discontent, stressful
that — even though we have
arrived at a time of medical wonders in
which most of the major killers of our
have been van-
quished — we are falling like fies before
the “diseases” of tension. Germs don't
now often get us, but our arteries burst.
Psychosomatic ills our grandparents
never heard of cripple millions. Other
ns simply go nuts.
Whats wrong? What's wrong, fund
mentally, is a disastrous confusion about
and even exchange of) our roles as
males and females.
Men began to make the error that set
the stage for our dilemma about two
centuries ago. As science provided en-
lightenment in the midst of the Dark
Age chaoses, men commenced to imagine
mi
they could conquer what they had
Iways regarded as their enemy: Nature.
And when they reached a point where
mass production became possible, men
felt sure they had Nature by the tail.
At that time — not very long ago —
nobody even dreamed that mass produc-
tion would soon lead to pillage of the
planet. At that hopeful and historic in-
stant, no one dreamed that America,
within а couple of generations, would
he consuming more than half of all the
minerals and raw materials mined,
pumped and quarried from the carth
or grown or harvested on its surface.
At that seemingly glorious moment,
nt and timeless values and re-
hips still briefly obtained. The
—dad, bud, gramps, uncle Sid —
the family purchasing agent
Women bought only the foodstufls they
could not raise themselves, along with a
few light-industry items, such as their
ow! d children's clothes. For a while,
mass-produced goods were also expected
to have dural In the early 1900s, a
house was still expected to last for a few
g nd vehicles were made to
endure almost as long. Kiddies toys
often were inherited from greatgrand-
parents and the props of adult enter-
tainment — musical instruments, say —
were constructed for the ages.
ach was the setting when woman at-
ned her first breath of liberati
vote. She followed up her advantage
with all the united and furtive frenzy of
convicts who have found a hole in their
prison wall. Soon, she became a familiar
ligure in business. She ceased to be the
once-rare, shirtwaisted amanuensis of
the boss—or th
all-too-common seam-
stress in the sweatshop, She became a
proud secretary — then, a business girl —
and soo woman. By then, she
was ing cheek-byjowl with com-
pany executives. Several wars, with their
withdrawal of manpower from the office,
factory, mill and elsewhere, gave thc
s a further boost upstairs
In this process — and. here's the crux
of the calamity — the American female
ht her only possible addition to
the productivity of brilliant and hard-
working men: style, at one time designed
to n ng to man, but
no lor gh fashion, today, is aimed
ıt making women envious of each other.
Hitherto, women had limited their con-
cern with fashion to constant alterati
of dress styles. As they began to
some hold on business enterprise, how-
ever, and inasmuch as the new marvel
of mass production made it possible
(though utterly wasteful), women began
to admire, demand and include style in
every sort of goods and services.
That sole contribution of the feminine
mind to American enterprise was highly
acceptable to the men in charge of the
engines of production. “Styling” had its
result: pid obsolescence and increased
sales. Soon, the most durable sorts of
acts — vehicles, for example — were
given a characteristic that once had been
dominant only in miladys wardrobe,
that of modishness. А man was no longer
proud that the carriage which trans-
ported him had been sturdily made in
his grandpa's day and still survived for
his thrifty use. On the contrary, if his
vehicle — now an automobile — were a
couple of years out-of-date, he (and his
little woman and his clamorous kids)
was as heartily ashamed of it as mother
once would have been to dress in a
dated evening gown.
With fashion ascendant, men rushed
ides into the art and
distribution and sale
of evergreate scs of “necessities”
that had an ever-shorter life. The Amer
s by then spiraling up-
ward. And two absolute disasters were
in the making.
First, Businessman became the
American hero, replacing the nobleman,
the political leader. the artist. doctor,
can economy wa
Almost ove:
became the
“Whatever it is that Nikita’s up
І don't like the looks of it.”
general opinion that women, not men,
were the proper arbiters of the arts, the
book-readers, the lecturegoers, the poct-
admirers. Never before in history had
one sex so suddenly abdicated what had,
thitherto, been its galactic symbol-system
of status. But it happened. And, all of
sudden, the figures who had always domi-
nated society and received utmost
respect—the men of God, the school-
masters, the professors and artists — be-
came nobodies, relegated to the bottom
of the social heap.
Man's imagination, his brain, his
natu! apacity for command, control,
management and direction — all that and
more — vanished moke puff in
America. Men who used their intelli
gences in the arts and the professions
were not only abruptly sent to the foot
of the social table, but now, in their
place, sat men who manufactured egg-
beaters. A generation of males has since
grown to adulthood in the new hier-
archy. By now, most men do not even
уе that they — not women — were
once the arbiters of style, beauty and
design — that they had the authentic
genius and the genuine good taste — that
n a
real
to,
155
PLAYBOY
156 ha
they possessed the true discernment and
intellectual sensitivity of our species.
They have simply sloughed off their
birthright and now imagine that all this,
at which they had excelled in the long
past of humanity. is woman's sphere.
Men did not and do not realize that,
in such immense default, they abandoned
the essence and center of manhood itself.
All they know now in most cases is
that no matter how much they achieve
under the present rules of statusstriving
in Amcrica, they somehow don't feel like
men, or act the way they sense men
ought to act, or relate to women in any
reconciling way. No wonder!
The instant they lost their hold on
the qualities that truly describe maleness,
women grabbed them. And — the second
disaster —the grab induded the purse
strings Women, in millions, became
the family purchasing agent. In what
amounts to a trice, as history is timed,
the American female turned into the
Americin spender. Men, by then, were
too damned busy trying to earn the
money to pay the bills women incurred
to have cnergy for anything else. And
the bills, remember, were of an upward-
spiraling sort, as that titanic female gim-
mick, style, began to determ
of almost every product. V
obsolescence, everything from child
toys to entire kitchen s to
houses, became likely 1 apart
or fall out of fashion overnight and
therefore to require replacement. The
t enterprise of advertising — under
careerwoman attrition — here took the
lead.
Readers will, at this point, begin to
what then happened. With
women doing the buying and manhood
ng its life away on the assembly
line or in the office, it was inevitable
that women would become arbiters of
what would sell and so of what men
It was then that the
t into full and repul-
sive bloom. Her primary task became to
conceal the grandeur of masculine intel.
ligence and imagination —to pretend
that these were basically womanly attri-
butes — апа to sce to it that America's
young males and females were so heavily
indoctrinated in that fallacy as to be
unable, all their lives, to undo the
delusion. By that grim process, of course,
the schoolmaster was shoved aside and
specialized career women took over edu-
cation from play school clear to — and
often including — college.
"The career woman also turned Amcri-
ca's wives into carecr-women-stooges:
What the she-pilots of school, home and
dustry claim to be the right direction
is taken by the entire sisterhood as the
proper course for the American home,
America’s kids and, of course, for pop.
As a result, there now exist males who
ven't the faintest notion of the mean-
ing of their sex. Consciously or not, they
take their directives from distaff dictators
— cradle to coffin, It never dawns on
them that they, not the little lady — that
tireless emulator of the arrogant career-
ists— are innately better fitted to select
the decor for a drawing room, choose
books, determine family budgets, man-
age ollspring and decide what the
(or will not) learn and do. In virtua
every one of their once-proudly held and
magnificently administered categories of
ament, they now defer
to the little woman, who in turn takes
her cue from Big Sister, the unassuageably
avaricious career woman.
Most of the males of Madison Avenue
— the men who “create” and advertise
and distribute and sell the swiftly out-
moded and soon-broken gadgets of our
modern world —are, owing to the pro-
cesses noted above, woman-counseled (if
not woman-bossed) in the office as well
as at home. Since he devotes his life to
things that women will buy, dic m
the gray flannel suit is, really, a pre
tender, If he wore garments on his body
that truly described his slant of mind
and stated the use he es of hi
critical and imaginative faculties, he
would wear prison stripes and an apror
Assisting the career women in their
nel terprises nowadays are other
thousands of men who, faced with asex-
ual H nd antisexua ces, have,
simply, given up even trying to be male
and turned, in shricking dismay, to
homosexuality. These victims of the
transcendent American She have tried,
in effect, to beat their assailants by
joining them. Hordes of such would-be
escapists have banded with the carcer
woman to denigrate further what is left
of masculinity.
The career woman has done all th
Look at her!
Under her hatcrown curl the blue-
dyed, machine-made tresses. Her mouth
is like an Her eyes are two hands-
ful of glinting fishhooks. Her little chit
can cut channels through stuff bulldozers
couldn't scratch. Her brain is concen
trated upon two things, and only two:
selfadvancement (even if that must be
made over more corpses than were
stacked at Shiloh's breastworks) and
upon the profession in which she has
carved other peoples flesh) her
carcer.
What can be donc about her, and her
works? Is there hope for men who still
try, in their fumbling way, to recover
manhood?
I think so. I think, indeed, that the
rebellion has begun.
The career woman — and all she is
and does and has done to womanhood
in general — prevails today primarily
because of a special sort of suppression.
She would topple from her pulpit, jud
ciary bench and throne if men, once
ious
again, began to feel and act toward
women in the intended ways. That is to
say, women should again be seen by men
as complements of themselves and not as
competitors. American men need to
realize that the female is their ural
love-object and that her most worthy
aspect is scen in her flowering youth.
They need a fair and ringing statement
defining sexuality as altogether good and
noble and complete and satisfying. They
need, to put it plainly, a sharp and
ting experience of luscious wom-
anhood in her natural state, of woman-
hood occupied with her real cr
enticing and then cooperating with males
— not an unnatural career of avaricious
commerce.
A little reflection will disclose the
extent to which our society at present
tries to censor, obliterate, outlaw and
hide every evidence — in photograph or
drawing, in print or on calendars, in
prose or, particularly, in. person — that
woman is intended to be the sexual
companion of man. Let us, then, who arc
still masculine, or who wish to become
masculine, and those who would under-
take to restore a birthright now stolen
by the carcer sisterhood and their dupes
—let us unite to celebrate womanhood
as feminine, as gorgeous, as titillating
and and let us hoot down with
hearty bass guffaws any and all v
and puritanical dames who try to stride
in and put a stop to our fun.
Let us cultivate a climate of ural
yearning and healthy satisfaction, a cli-
mate in which the destructive career
woman, that deadly steatopygous copro-
phagiac, will perish from neglect and
scorn.
Let us once more allow women to
inspire us— not to pilfer our pockets
nd withhold their love, th beauty
and their erotic companionabili
Let us n celebrate women in their
rightful role.
Unless we do, gentlemen, the jig may
soon be up, as was implied in the
opening passage of this dithyramb. For,
in these sick and frustrate days, the
energies and efforts of such men among
us as still own and use their imaginations
are being increasingly devoted to a pair
of allied ellorts. One of those is, simply,
to get off the earth and out of the she—
ratrace entirely, in space vehicles. Fail-
ing that, failing to regain manhood and
resupply women with their true careers
(men), these last and uncowed represen-
tatives of disgraced, tormented, castrated
and frustrated manhood are, sure as sun-
shine, going to blow the whole miscrable,
perverse, inverted and self-defeated thing
we call civilization to atoms. The time
remaining is short. But the girls— not
the career women, gentlemen, just the
girls — are willing, even eager, to help.
FIRST WIFE
(continued from page 145)
doglike devotion and a strong sense of
duty.
She should be willing to follow you
through thick and th pecting little,
yet happy for every favor you bestow,
grateful for every pat or kind word.
Beware the schemer, the girl who pre-
tends devotion only to trap you into
e. Simple errands often point the
ie, I spent just hours trying
to get City Hall to answer your ques-
tion. Must have been to 20 depart-
ments.”
(City Hall is an excellent place to
lest strength of character.)
‘Oh? Find the answer, Susie?”
‘Well, no, Davie, J didn't, but —
zot a permanent today, too, eh?
(Be quick to note evidence of per-
sonal vanity or selfishness.)
"I simply had to — I ——"
“Doesn't matter, pet, I don't mind
at all.
(No use making an open display
of temper.)
Keep looking. No effort is too great if
you are to find the girl of your dreams.
A FLEXIBLE MIND
ake. Your own mind
will be strong enough for both of you.
Powerful mental equipment on the part
of the wife leads only to friction a
unplea ss. Sparks can fly and tears
may flow.
The first wife should have a good but
flexible mind, one that will bend casily.
Keep bending it in the right direction,
and you will soon have a wife that is the
envy of all your friends.
Many believe that education is harm-
Tul to the good wife. Nothing could be
further
rom the truth. In hundreds of
ls with actual degrees have
Though there is little th
the classroom can contribute to the
work she will have to do, most modern
girls’ schools encourage games and body-
building sports. Field hockey, especi
good. It inge
g and mopping mations. Girls who
marry quickly following school can even
retain some of the same calluses, well-
trained muscles, and nimble athletic
reflexes.
Her real education will begin the
moment the two of you become man
and wife. All during this period, whi
may last for years, she will be learning,
plucking the ripe fruit that hangs so
heavily from your mental branches.
GOOD BREEDING
The influence of heredity, which
ence tells us is so important, should not
be overlooked. A girl with a good set of
chromosomes is a prize indeed.
How, so many ask, can 1 check up on
them?
Look to her family, A father, for ex-
ample, who is on the board of directors
of a number of influential corporations
can be reasonably sure to have accepta-
ble chromosomes. Worldly honors do
not come by accident, and are only too
often the result of good breeding and a
well-chosen group of ancestors.
"CAN 1 REALLY FIND HER?”
“What are my chances,” you may ask,
“of finding such a woman?” Very small.
But don't be discouraged. Remember
that the new wile is only the raw mate-
rial with which you will work. It will be
your duty to train her, long and painful
though the process may be.
If you keep at it, with little thought of
sclf, but only a firm resolve to have a
fine wife, you will succeed!
Detailed instructions follow
next chapter.
NEXT MONTH: “HOW TO
TRAIN YOUR FIRST WIFE”
in the
COURTEOUS TO WOMEN
(continued from page 107)
in relation to your debt?"
"Well, now, that aspect of the matter
certainly has a bearing on the issue. Y
сеу is the man I telephoned five or six
weeks ago when I reached Paris after
losing all of my moncy in the gambling
houses on the Riviera.”
“How much did you lose?”
“Ten thousand dollars."
“Uncle Sam isn't going to like that, is
he?"
"I don't like it, either. I only did
the hope of getting the money he cl
1 owe by some other means than writ-
n-
hy not by means of writing?"
"Well, first, because it's hard work, as
you yourself may know, in case you're a
newspaperman who has written books,
or is trying to."
ve w x, and published three."
"Then you know."
"Only too well, and not one of the
published books carned more than a
thousand dollars.”
"Fd like to read them sometime, if
you've got copies to sparc. Or at any rate
I'd like to try. I'm a poor reader."
‘They're not novels, they're only col-
lections of pieces. You might enjoy read-
ing around in them.
‘Well, I'd like to ty.”
“Digression over. I mean, here's one of
the books. ГІ pick it up tomorrow
ing."
"No. give me at least until day after
tomorrow morning.
"OK. So you tried to win the moncy
you need for taxes, and instead you lost
the money you had.
“Every dollar of it, plus a thousand
from my Italian publisher, plus three
thousand from my London agent.
"Making the total lost $14,000?
“I think of it as $15,000, because that's
the way I prefer to think of losses.
Never underestimate the amount you
lose, always overestimate. Having lost,
mor
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I came to Paris, to see Yancey, but for
three days I put off telephoning him —
because I still had hopes of getting the
money I need some other way.
“What other way, for in:
“The National Lottery of France. I
bought one ticket for a little less than
2600 francs, worth about nd as the
drawing was the follo nd as
the results of the dr would be
lable the day after the. drawing,
ted to wait, and while I waited I
believed I might just win — 50,000,000
francs, that is, or $100,000. It doesn’t
matter that I didn't know my ticket could
win a maximum of only 5,000,000 Irancs.
Who needs to know a thing like that?
So let it be only 5,000,000, it would be a
beginning, wouldn't it? And I could get
back into all kinds of gambling action.
\s it turned out, I won.”
“How much?”
“Three thousand francs, which is 400
francs more than I paid for the ticket—
that would be a net profit of about 80
cents, which of course is better than
nothing. Any kind of a win is better
than a loss but it just wasn't enough.
And it costs money to live at the Hotel
George V. Thus, there was no other way
out. I telephoned Yancey and the fol-
lowing afternoon I went up and told
him my story.”
"What did you tell him?"
m flat broke and ready to go to
work—on anything
“And what did Yancey tell you?"
* You've got a deal. Read some prop-
erties I own, and let me know what you
think of them. IE any of them appeal to
you, write the whole thing over. We'll
talk business as soon as you find some-
thing you like. If you don't find any-
thing you like, come up with an ide
and if I like it, we'll talk business again.”
So what happened?"
mined half a dozen of
properties and didn't like any of them.
I came up with an idea, he liked it,
and he told me to go ahcad
wing
"Did you
"E began day before yesterday
“What is iu"
"E haven't finished writi
І don't know.”
“Tve heard that you work swiftly. I've
heard that you wrote a play that got all
it yet, so
the prizes in six days, but then that
was away back there in 1939. How long
do you think
this job?”
“Im giv
thr
will take you to finish
g myself nine days—that's
¢ extra days, in honor of Paris, so
Well, this is the Plaza-Athénée.
Have you got your story?”
“It would be a much better story if
I knew how this job of writing for
Yancey turns out, what you think of it,
how much money you are paid for it
and so on."
Yes, I suppose it would, but in that
case you'll have to come around to the
George V a week from today."
"OK, I will”
"They said so long, and he went on
into the lobby and asked the man at
the desk to telephone Yancey.
e the man tried to get Yancey
on the phone, the thought came to the
writer that the better part of the prob-
lem of the writer, not himself necessarily,
the writer in general,
U.S. or anywhere else in the world,
Iceland, for i
basic problem of a
at any time, is health, ри
But most writers didn't ha
Scott Fitzgerald didn't, and n
Thomas Wolfe. They h
of it, at any . And if you were given
to speculation of that sort you won-
dered what they would have gone on
y had health enough to
useless to do that, of
course, to speculate in that manner, and
yet it was almost
If Wolfe had sur bi NE spirit
had quicted down a little, if he had
become only a little disenchanted with
his writing, with the world, with art.
with the human race, with himself, if
in fact he could come (at least for a
moment or two now and then) to despise
it all (as in fact he surely must have, in
any case), and if he had fallen into
silence, even, or into a state of despair,
a r in Brooklyn for a
g nothing, who could
guess what he might have gone
write? Who could guess how much
deeper and more true his writing might
have become, how much shorter in point
of number of words used and how
1 and clean in point of effect?
uscless to do that, since the
word had come from somewhere in the
North, in the state of Washington or
Oregon, that Thomas Wolfe had died,
and the year was only 1938.
Now, Wolfe had been dead 21 years,
even while he waited for the call to
Yancey to go through. Why had Wolfe
rushed? Why had he written so much,
so swiftly, and so steadily, instead of
saying suddenly, "Now, I stop."
Yancey came on the line, and after
a few minutes they went to the bar and
talked.
Yancey зай
work last nigh
you still drunk?
“I was at the Aviation Club [rom one
until four in the morning. Beginning
with 50,000 francs—all the money I have
in the world—I lost all of it in five
ny writer in the world,
nd simple.
on to
nuch
“What did you do after
Get drunk? I mean, are
minutes, excepting 3000 francs, and
then, knowing I had to my money
back or my writing would go bad, I
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began to gamble carefully. After five
minutes ] had 15,000. 1 went from the
big table to the lite one just as the
bank was betting 50,000 francs, and T
said banco because nobody at that table
new I didn't have 50,000. The dealer
ive me two pictures and then an acc,
and he turned up for himself a picture
and a two, and | figured my goose was
cooked. But he added an eight to the two
lor a baccara, or nothing, so the croupier
slid the win to me off the wooden spade
“Well, you've got guts."
"]t wasn't enough to have gotten out
of a bad spot, 1 had to go on drinking
and gambling, so pretty soon 1 was al-
most broke . Í lost and won three
four in the morning 1
suddenly noticed that I had almost
100,000 francs. Without any trouble at
all 1 got up and cashed in my chips and
went out to the Champs:
from across the street came four pretty
girls in a merry group. They were from
Le Sexy, and they wanted onion soup.
They were so happy together 1 agreed
to take them to where they like to have
their onion soup, a place somewhere in
Pigalle, but along with the onion soup
they wanted champagne, too. Pd had
such good luck, losing and winning, 1
figured hell, let them have what. they
want, it isn’t my money anyway. The
onion soup and champagne cost me
30,000 Irancs, or 60 bucks. 1 kissed them
goodnight, in broad daylight, as if each
had been a wife for 20 years or m
really loving cach of them, not know
anything at all about cach of them, as
it is with a man Kissing his wife after 20
years. And then I went up the street
and came upon one of the prettiest girls
I have ever seen, surely not more th
17, with bruise marks all over her arms.
I stopped to chat a moment, and she
said she ated а lot for w
1 believed she would want 30,000, but
а lot to her turned out to be 1500, or
three lousy dollars. Í loved her as if she
were that same wife alter a long night
of fun, and she said, ‘You are not an
American, you cannot be an Americ
I know many Americans, 1 was brought
up near an Army post.’ Yes, 1 got drunk
last night all right, and I'm still drunk,
but 1 kuow one thing—l know my work
is going to go just fine when 1 get
around to it in an hour or two. For
three or four or five hours, for as long
as | necd to write scene one of act two
I know my writing is going to go just
с, and that's my job, isn't it? To sce
ysées, and
n
that 1 permit my writing to go as nicely
as possible? Thats the real problem of
the American writer, isn't it? To be
courteous to women, so that things will
be courteous to him, and let him writ
MILLIONAIRE MENTALITY
(continued from page 113)
and chafed тран ntil he could
return to the drilling sites.
I inspected ту properti
GO days after Georg;
under the new ve
Miller
took over
ship. | checked
the operations minutely, but could find
nothing wrong. Indeed, 1 noted little if
anything I could have improved upon
personally. Needless to say. in a very
short time both Miller and I were mak
ing far more money than we had belore
he started working on a profit-sharing
basis. The incident taught me one of the
many lessons which have Jed me to be-
lieve that most men fall into one of
four general categories.
In the first group are those individuals
who work best when they work entirely
for themselves — when they own and
operate their own businesses. Such men
do not want to be employed by anyone.
Their desire is to be completely inde-
pendent. They care nothing for the se-
curity a salaried job offers. They want to
create their own security and build their
own futures entirely on their own. In
short, they want to be their own bosses
ing to accept the responsi-
bilities and risks this entails.
e the men who, for any of a
large number of reasons, do not want to
go into business lor themselves, but who
achieve the best, and sometimes spec-
tacular, results when they are employed
by others and share in the profits of the
business.
ely different types
. They from
ght salesmen who prefer working
on a commission basis — earning in pro
portion to what they produce, with
neither floors nor ceilings on their in-
comes — to the finest executives in the
business world.
orge Miller was one who fit into
this category. So — at the uppermost end
of the scale — did the late Charles E.
"Engine Charlie" Wilson. Fm certain
that Charles F. Wilson would have
achieved great success had he gone into
business for himself. But he preferred
working for someone else—first for
ше Westinghouse Electric Company
and then for the General Motors
Corporation. Wilson's rise from ап 18-
centan-hour job to the $600,000-a-year
presidency of General. Motors is a cla
sic saga of American business. Charles E.
Wilson was always an employce—but he
amassed millions through stock-owner-
ship in the companies for which he
worked, thus sharing in the profits he
helped to create.
My third category includes individuals
who want only to be salaried employees,
people who are reluctant to take risks
and who work best when they are em-
ployed by others and. enjoy the security
of a st
People in this group are good, con-
scientious and reliable workers. They
те loyal to their employers, but are
content with the limited incentives of a
regular paycheck and hopes for occa-
sional raises i ry. They do not pos-
sess the initiative and independence —
and, perhaps, the self-confidence and
drive — of individuals in the first two
groups.
Lastly, there are these who work for
others but have the same attitude toward
their employers that postal clerks have
toward the Post Office. Department. I
hasten to make clear that I intend no
slight or slur inst postal clerks, who
work hard and well. But they are not
motivated by any need or desire to pro-
duce a profit for their employer. Postal
deficits are traditional and they are met
regularly by the Federal Government. 1
doubt very seriously if there is one posta
derk in 100 who cares whether the Post
Office Department makes a profit or op-
ates at а deficit. This is, perhaps, as it
should be— in the Post Office Depart
ment, But, obviously, such attitudes are
ny business operating in a free
enterprise system.
Yet there 1 who
hold — or would like to hold — manage
ment positions in business whose out
looks arc virtually identical with those
of the average postal clerk. They don't
really care whether the company that
employs them makes a profit or shows a
loss as long as their own paychecks ar-
rive on timc.
I've encountered. countless specimens
— graduates of the i leading
schools of ess Administration
among them — who, incredibly enough,
utterly incapable of reading a bak
nce sheet and couldn't even give an
intelligent definition of what is meant
by the term “profits.”
Whatever exalted titles such men may
hold, they still remain nothing more
e far too many
than glorified postal clerks. They feel
little or no sense of responsibility to
their employers or the stockholders of
the company for which they work. They
© interested solely in ieir own per-
al wellar
twardly, some of these men seem to
qualifications for
адетин. jobs, They are obviously ir
telligent and арра
But not even a 180 LQ. will necessarily
an individual а good businessman
or executive. And, as Roger Falk so cor
rectly points out in his book, The Busi-
ness of Management, many a man who is
supposed to have, say, 10 yc x
fence has really had only one y
experience repeated 10 times over.
Large nu postal clerk
types spend years— even decades — try-
g to reach th rungs of the suc-
cess ladder and wondering why they
tain them. They can't understand
зо!
€
possess the essentia
ently experienced.
make
why they aren't given top jobs or can't
"get rich.
The reason they
in the mind.
Like it or not, there is a thing that
can be called The Millionaire Menta ity.
There is a frame of mind which pu
ividual a long way ahead on the road
to success in business, whether it be in
his own ol т executive.
In short, The Millionaire Menta ity is
one which is always and. above all cost-
conscious and. profit-minded. [t is most
ikely to be found among men in the
first two categories | have cited.
This Millionaire Mentality rarely
found among individuals in the third
group. But then, they seldom have am-
bitions to be anything more than cm-
ployces in the lower or middle echelons
of a business organization.
The Millionaire Mentality is entirely
nonexistent among men in the fourth
category. Unfortunately, however, these
l? Actually, it's all
an
as
ally the very people who have
the wildest delusions about their own
value — the ones who do the least and
demand the most. They view the com-
pany for which they work as a cornucopia
m which good things should flow to
them rather than as something to which
they owe loyalty and which they should
strive to build.
There were times in the past when I
tried to excuse the failings of these
postal clerk types on the grounds th
they hadn't had the advantages Pd e
in life. 1 reasoned that they did
€ the same amount of formal
education Га received, hadn't traveled
as widely nor had as much busin
perience as 1. Then I g
that when their perso
involved, these economic illiterates sud.
denly became as shrewd as the most
successful financier.
1 once took control of a company
which had gr potentials but a very
i carnings record. It didn't
"Good evening, sir. Is the lady of the house in?”
161
PLAYBOY
162 money
take me very long
trouble. Three of
key executives were virtually casebook
examples of the postal clerk, men who
ther cost-conscious nor profit
to pinpoint the
the company's
were n
minded,
The monthly salaries of each of these
men ran into four figures. One month,
shortly before payday, I instructed. the
department to "short" each
of their paychecks by five do
if they complained, to send them di
to me.
As I more or less expected, all three
of the executives concerned: presented
themselves at my office within an hour
after their checks were delivered on
payday. To cach, in turn, 1 delivered a
little speech that was hardly calculated
to brighten his day.
“I've been going over the company's
I announced sourly. “I've found
ral examples of what | consider un-
necessary expenditures which have cost
this company's stockholders many tens
of thousands of dollars in the last year.
Apparently, you paid little or no atter
tion to them. Certainly. I've seen no
evidence that you tried to reduce the
expenses or correct the situations which
caused them to rise as high as they did.
Yet, when your own paycheck is in-
volved, you instantly notice а five-dollar
underpayment and take immediate steps
to have the mi rectified.” Two of
the executives got the point, took it to
heart and quickly mended their
The third did none of these thing:
and was soon looki elsewhere for
work.
It should go without saying that no
business can long survive unless it makes
profit. It should also go without saying
that businessmen and business executives
st be constantly alert for ways to
duce costs and increase ciciency, pro-
duction, quality and sales so that the
company he owns—or for which he
works — can operate at a profit.
These would appear to be the most
basic of all basic business axioms. Yet it
d fact that many businessmen and
executives. barely comprehend. them =
ıd there even those who don’t com-
prehend them at all!
ways.
sa
An айдоо! attitude was ex-
pressed to me recently by a young execu
tive who complained bitterly that his
hed
deparime
by $20,000.
“Did the cut reduce the ойс
your department or curtail any of its
productive operations?” 1 asked him.
"No. 1 guess not,” he replied afte
moments thought.
“Then why compl 1 inquired.
“We could have found something to
spend the money on!" was this alle
executive's answer. “After all, you have
to think big and spend money to make
budget had been sl
ney of
in?
Tm glad this young man wasn't on
onc of my payrolls. 1 would have disliked
terminating our conversation by firing
him on the spot.
I've heard this concept that “you have
to think big and spend money to make
money" bandied about ever since 1 be-
gan my own business career. 1 doubt if
there
widely misinterpreted.
1 agree that anyone who desires to
achieve success and wealth in business
must have imagination and be farsighted.
He must also be willing to spend — and
risk—money, but only when the expendi
ture is justified. and the risk is carefully
calculated.
is any other business concept more
In my opinion, it’s more important for
the man with The Millionaire Mentality
to be able to think small than to think
big — in the sense that he gives meticu
lous attention to even the smallest de-
tails and misses no opportunity to reduce
costs in his own or his employer's bu
ness. 1 explained my views along these
lines not long ago to a newly graduated
ws
aspirant for a junior executive position
ап that а man has to be
2 Бе
“Do you m
a penny pincher to be a succe
wanted to know.
1 repli t what might se
penny-pinching at one level might well
loom as а large-scale economy at am-
other. 1 mentioned the example of the
nt U.S. corporation that recently
study of the contents of the
tebaskets in its administrative offices,
Each night for a week, a team of
workers emptied the waste receptacles
апа sorted out the usable items of com-
pany property which had been tossed into
them by the firm's employees during the
- By computing the value of such
minor items as paper clips, rubber bands,
erasers, pencils, and so on which had
been. discarded the week and
multiplying the total by
officials discovered that more tl
000 was bı
Another frm operating a fleet of
пеку saved $15,000 lv on its gaso-
linc bills just because an alert executive
noticed that drivers were filling their [uel
tanks to overflowing at the company
s pumps and that gasoline remaining
in hosc nozzles was allowed to drip onto
the ground.
In one of mı
own companie
junior executive burned much midnight
1 а production
г
oil to devise a shortcut
operati h saved less il
cent per unit, but added up to a toi
yearly saving of over 525,000
than twice his own
also reduced overall costs by 20 percent
and increased production by 12 percent
in his own department. This young man
quite definitely has what 1 term The
Millionaire Mentality. He . inc
dentally, no longer a junior execu
n wi
1 do not he
reach the top and ma
record time.
In this day and
firm has to
to predict that he will
ke his millions in
, the emp!
to be on reducing costs and increasi
production.
‘There is absolutely no room in tod
business world for even the most junior
executive who has а postal clerk's out-
look — but there is an atiable and ever-
growing need for executives who possess
or will develop Millionaire Mentalities.
Faced with spiraling costs
profit margins, many firms have begun to
weed out the former and give greater
krtitude and opportunity to the latter.
In my own companies, we have inst
иней а program of
to rid ourselves of the personnel di
wood which has been allowed to collect
over the years—and which, inevitably,
collects in almost any business firm.
] hundred executives and em.
been compulsorily retired
before reaching the normal re
age. The criterion for selecting
those to be retired has been their actual
value to the companies. In brief, the
question asked in each was whether
the individu: productive, cost-con-
scious and profit-minded
‘True, the cost of retiring these people
and of paying them pensions years bi
fore they were due to receive them is
very high. But we have found that the
cost is significantly less than the cost of
keeping them on our payrolls, where
they not only draw full pay, but cause
more harm than good, producing losses
instead of profit
The man with a Million:
is not y pincher
grubbe executi
costs and tries to reduce them—and
strives to increase. production and sales
and thus profits— in every way he can
because he has the interests of the com-
pany, its shareholders and employees at
heart. He knows that the healthier the
company, the better its profit picture
the more those shareholders and em-
ployces will benefit.
It is more than а fi
that an executive
holders’ investments and the employees’
jobs in his trust. To discharge those
trusts, he must direct every effort to in
t the company makes a fair
— оне not only large enough for
ess, but
well
ment
wa
c Mentality
and money-
‚һе watches
€ of speech to
holds the stock
enough [or it to tak
opportunities for expansion. An execu-
tive who understands this and acts ac
cordingly is already well on his way to
establishing the frame of mind that pro-
duces The Millionaire Mentality. He is
also assured of success. He is on his way
to the top.
. - she was supposed to get in after you baked the cake!”
PLAYBOY
164
GLOWWORM
cated, nor willing to waste their time
or charms on inept members of the op-
posite sex. Miss Rasher started thc
Society as a lark, of course, but it soon
became a serious institution. Tod: its
membership is worldwide, and while the
ct figures are secret, there are over
8000 female members, to say nothing of
several hundred officers of both sexes.
Members? But what kind of club is
сха
i
“Its not a club,” she said contemp-
tuously. "It is a Society. Modesty aside,
I must tell you that it numbers some
of the most beautiful women in the
world as its members: the enrollment
requirements are very strict. Fach mem-
ber is permitted to wear this small glow-
worm pin — for identification purposes."
"For whose identification purposes:
“For the attractive and — suitable
s the Glow girls are seeking Once
a man qualifies, he is gi winged
glowworm pin— the male glowworm is
winged, you know, and carries no light.
This pin enables him to approach any
Glow member and be assured of — shall
п ardent welcome
"You mean he can —
Yes, Mr. Holrood. Without fear of
rejection, without time-wasting prelimi-
naries, the Glow girls of the world are
his for the asking.”
He swallowed twice.
“But how do you quali
I have to do, swim the Hellespon
What do
(continued from page 61)
“Nothing so unrelated. Certain offi-
cers of the Glow have been appointed
Official Examiners.
He looked at the card again.
“О. Is d ОЈ
"Yes, I have that honor.”
"And you mean—you'll give me a
chance?’
“That's my job, Mr
reached for the purse again, and with
efficient motions. withdrew a tiny note-
pad and a slim pencil. She wrote rapidly
on the first page, tore it out, and handed
it to him. “I'm afraid | have another
appointment this evening, bat if you'll
come to this address tomorrow night at
say, 10 o'clock, I'll be happy to see vou."
“Look, Debbie, you sure this isn’t
some kind of ri
Us not a
м . means?"
Holrood." Shc
rib,
please call me Miss Landi
remember, | am an officer.
Mr. Holrood, and
You must
“You honestly mean you'll — and. I'm
supposed to——
“Ies the only chance you'll have. Fail
tomorrow night, and the ladies of the
Glow Society are denied to you forever.
If you succeed, of course,
swear to keep the fact secret. The pins
are not transferable, and any infraction
of the rules will meet with immed
revocation of all privileges. Is that clear?
“Perfectly clear. Perfectly nutty, but
you must
cd two
and her surfa
five degrees.
ingers on her shoulder,
temperature. dropped
Please, Mr. Holrood,” she
said. "Until tomorrow."
"Then shc turned and went back in-
side.
At 10 the following night, she was
hardly less glacial when she grected him
at the door of her apartment. But instead
of a red dress, she wore a translucent
of pale blue, held together at
at by a glowwom pin with a
ıbly smooth-working catch.
the th
remar
When he received the offical notifica-
tion in the mail, I immediately
telephoned Deborah L partment.
‘I want to see you,” he said.
. Mr. Holrood, that's against
the rules, Did vou receive my letter?”
“I got it.” he said, with de
"But D still want to sce you. Are you
free for lundi
There was a momentary, lip-chewing
pau
“Tm soi
АП right" the girl said. "Where do
you eat lunch?”
He met her at the Allenby Room
shortly after 12. and steered her to a
secluded table. She wore a white tailored
suit and looked virginal. He gritted his
teeth, and ungrit them only for the
first mar
‘All right,” he said. "I suppose you're
i y smug today.’
rtainly not. I never enjoy declining
a likely malc, Mr. Holrood, that's not
we're after.”
Т was really that bad, was P”
“You mean you dont know?” She
shrugged, and sipped her drink lan-
guidly.
Yes, | know," Daniel said harshly.
1 know that I enjoyed that night about
much as a schoolboy enjoys his final
exams, What did you expect?”
“We expect love, Mr. Holrood, warm,
ie love. Is that too much to ask
thy young man?”
And since when is love such a onc-
sided proposition? You had me so damn
jittery with your lousy O.E. card and
your icebox attitude —"
“1 was only doing my duty
“No,” Daniel said gravely. “You
weren't doing your duty, Miss Land
You were forgetting it takes two (o
tango, and that's the most serious offense
in the Glow Society. Frankly, I don't
know how we ever let you take the job
xaminer.
rched.
wi
"Did you
"Yes, we,
uy we?
Daniel said. He took out
his wallet and removed a card. It read:
NOLKOOD,
PRESIDENT, NORTHEAST DIVISION.
лик GLow
VIC)
“I'm sorry,” he
SOCIETY, DANIEL K.
1 quietly. "But even
the Examiners must be examined some
times, Turn in your glowworm, Miss
Landis — you're through.
OPPOSING STATEMENTS (continued prom page 112)
BUCKLEY Tre answer was no. The father
spent the evening talking with his wife and sister, and
on his knees praying. The next morning he opened the
door to the escort who had come to fetch his son, put
a bullet through his head, turned and shot his wife and
child, and then blew out his own brains.
That is not merely a horror story, nor merely a
personal tragedy, any more than the story of Anne
Frank was merely an isolated horror story, a personal
tragedy. H is a part of a systemic tragedy, just as the
annihilation camps in Germany and Poland were a
part of a systemic tragedy; the tragedy that arises not
out of the workaday recognition of man's capacity f
brutality, but out of the recognition that man's capac-
ity for good is equal to the task of containing at least
systemic horror, but that we are here frozen in inac-
tivity, while the horror spreads, leaping over continents
and oceans and slithering up to our shoreline, while
those whose job it is to contain that horror grind out
their diplomatic nothingness, and the nation’s poets
wallow in their own little sorrows. The American
Right Wing, of whom 1 am merely one member,
dumsily trying to say what Norman Mailer with his
ying so very much better
if only he would raise his eyes from the world's genital
glands, are trying to understand why; are trying to
understand what is that philosophy of despair, and
who was it that voted to make it the law of n; tions,
that we should yield to it, that teaches us to be im-
potent while fury strikes at the carpenter's home 90
miles from the greatest giant history ever bred, whose
hands are held down by the Lilliputian solipsists of
contemporary liberalism.
Cuba is a symbol of American liberalism's failure
to meet the challenges of the modern world. If such a
thing as Castro Cuba were not possible, such a thing
as the American Right Wing, as it exists today, would
not be possible; as things are, the Ame
Wing is necessary, and. providential.
Why are we now threatened with Castro? Why
should Castro ever have arisen to threaten us? There
is a question, I dare suggest, the Right alone has been
asking. If the President of the United States desired a
clue as to the answer to that question he might reflect
оп a scene enacted threeand-onc-hall years ago at his
alma mater. It was a brilliant spring evening, and
Harvard had not found a hall large enough to hold
the crowd. In the entire history of Harvard, is it said,
there had not been such a demand for seats. The
mecting was finally held out of doors.
10.000 members of the Harvard comm
And there
ty — teachers,
ministrative officials — met in high spirits
del Castro a thunderous, prolonged, standing
students,
to give
ovation.
That is why the United States has not been able to
cope with Castro— (nor before him with Khrushchev,
or Mao-Tse-tung, or Stalin; or, for that matter, with
Alger Hiss). We have not understood. The most edu-
cated men in our midst and the most highly trained
~induding those who trained the Kennedys — have
not been understanding the march of history, in which
Castro is a minor player, though at the moment great
shafts of light converge on him to give him a spectac-
MAILER National Association for the Ad-
vancement of Colored People? No. Was it perhaps a
Freedom Rider? No. Was it a beatnik or a drug addict?
No. Wasn't it one of those New York agitators? No, no,
it wasn’t even a Cuban. The sad fact of the matter was
that the powerful and villainous man was marris
the richest woman in the county, came himself from
excellently good family, owned half the real estate
around, and was president of the biggest local corpora-
tion, which was a large company for making plastic
luncheon plates. He was a man who had been received
often in the old lady's house. He had even talked to her
about joining his organization. He was the leader of
the local council of the John Birch Society.
Mr. Buckley may say 1 am being unfair. The man
who puts the new bypass through does not have to be
the local leader of the John Birch Society, He can
also be a liberal Republican, or a Democratic mayor,
a white liberal Southerner, or — and here Mr. Buckley
might tell my story with pleasure—he could be a
Federal man. The bypass might be part of a national
superhighway. The villain might even be a Feder:
man who is under scrutiny by the Senate Investi
Committee, the House Un-American Affairs Commit-
tee, the FBI, and the CIA. It seems not to matter —
a man can be a fellow-traveler or a reactionary — either
way those trees get chopped down, and the past is
unreasonably destroyed.
The moral well may be that certain distinctions have
begun to disappear. The average experience today is
to meet few people who are authentic. Our minds
belong to one cause, our hands manipulate a machine
which works against our cause. We are not our own
masters. We work against ourselves. We suffer from a
disease. It is a discase which afflicts almost all of us
by now, so prevalent, insidious and indefinable that
I choose to call it a plague.
k somewhere, at some debatable point in his-
y ible man caught some unspeakable illne:
of the psyche, that he betrayed some secret of his being
and so betrayed the future of his species. 1 could
not begin to trace the beginning of this plague, but
whether it began carly or late, I think it is accelerating
now at the most incredible speed, and J would go so
ar as to think that many of the men and women who
belong to the Right Wing are more sensitive to this
dise: n virtually any other people in this country.
1 think it is precisely this sensitivity which gives power
to the Right Wing's passions.
Now this plague appears to us as а sickening of
our substance, an electrification of our nerves, a dete-
rioration of desire, an apathy about the future, a detes-
tation ol the present, an amnesia of the past. Its forms
are many, its flavor is unforgettable: It is the disease
which destroys flavor. Its symptoms appear everywher
in architecture, medicine, in the deteriorated quality
of labor, the insubstantiality of money, the ravish-
ment of nature, the impoverishment of food, the
manipulation of emotion, the emptiness of faith, the
displacement of sex, the deterioration of language,
the reduction of philosophy, and the alienation of
man [rom the product of his work and the results
of his acts.
What a modest list! What a happy century. One
165
PLAYBOY
166
“Look, do те a favor and stop saying, ‘Who needs ИР”
BUCKLEY als brilliance. When Castro
arrived at Harvard he had been five long, hectic,
flamboyant months in power. He had kept the firing
squads working day and night. He had reduced the
courts to travesty; he had postponed democratic elec-
tions until a day infinitely distant; he had long since
begun to speak stridently about world affairs in the
distinctive accents of Bolshevism; he had insulted our
ambassador; his radio stations and newspapers were
pouring out their abuse of this country and its people.
‘Things would become worse in the next months,
and the more offensive Castro became, the madder
we were all instructed to get at General Trujillo.
Castro would not get such a reception at Harvard
today. But today is too late. Today is when President
Kennedy labors over the problem of how to contain
Castro, Now, having waited so long, Mr. Kennedy must
deal with the doctrine promulgated by Khrushchev
on September 11, which states that “the Soviet Union
will consider any attempt on the part of the Western
Hemisphere powers to extend their system to any
portion of the Communist world as dangerous to our
peace and safety” — what we have identified at Na-
tional Review as the Monroevski Doctrine.
‘The point is that no one in power seems to know
exactly how to deal with Castro. No one even knows
how this country is to deal not with Castro — he is
merely a particularization of the trouble — but with a
much larger question. We don't know how to deal
with Harvard University. If Harvard wasn't able to
spot Castro for what he is earlier than it did, and show
us how to cope with him, who can? And yet Harvard,
so dulled ave its moral and intellectual reflexes,
cheered, while Castro was accumulating the power to
engross the full, if futile. attention of President Jehn
Г. Kennedy, B.S., Harvard, 1940, LL.D., 1956, even
while another of her illustrious sons, Norman Mailer,
B.A. 1947, was propagandizing for a Committee to
Hasten the Unmolested Communization of Cuba.
OF Cuba, the Right Winger concludes, it can truly
be said that she was betrayed. That melodramatic
word is not being used only by the founder of the
John Birch Society. It is the word — “la gran estafa" —
being used by most of Fidel Castro's closest. former
sociates, who had thought they were struggling all
those months in the Sierra Ma for freedom, only
to find that at a mysterious political level of whose
existence they were not even aware, arrangements were
l le to use their hunger lor freedom and reform
as the engines to create a slave state. They. the earliest
associates of Castro, were not really to blame. They
fought bravely, and one must not fault the working
soldiery for a lack of political sophistication. But there
were others whose business it was to know who did
not know, and their ignorance resulted in the betrayal
of those men who followed Castro blindly, only to find
themselves to have tunneled out of their cell into a
torture chamber.
The United States was caught by surprise? The
Right Wing suggests there are reasons why we were
caught by surprise, and that we can never be done
exploring what those reasons were, and how to avoid
them in the future. But all inquiries of this nature
McCarthyite. President Kennedy
has told us the Government was caught completely by
are denounced as
MAILER could speak for hours on each of
the categories of this plague. But we are here tonight
to talk about other matters. So I will try to do no
more than list the symptoms of this plague.
Even 25 years ago architecture, for example, still
told one something about a building and what went
on within it. Today, who can tell the diff
tween a modern school and a modern hospi
а modern hospital and а modern prison, or a. prison
and a housing project? The airports look like luxury
hotels, the luxury hotels are indistinguishable Irom
a modern corporation's home office, and the home
office looks like an air-conditioned underground city
on the moon.
In medicine, not so long ago, just before the war,
there still used to be diseases. Diphtheria, smallpox
German measles, scarlet lever. Today there are alle
g i Neuroses, incu
have made some mechanic
more mysterious than ever. No one knows quite what
a virus is, nor an allergy, пог how to begin to compre-
hend an incurable disease. We have had an avalanche
ol antibiotics, and now wc have a rampage of small
epidemics with no name and no distinctive set of
symptoms.
Nature is wounded in her fisheries, her forests. Air-
planes spray insecticides. Species of insects are removed
from the chain of lile. Crops are poisoned just slightly,
We grow enormous tomatoes which have no taste.
Food is raised in artificial circumstances, with artificial
nutrients, full of alien. chemicals and foreign bodies.
Our emotions are turned like television dials by men
in motivational research. Goods аге not advertised
to speak to our needs but to our secret itch. Our
secondary schools have a curriculum as interesting as
the wax paper on breaklast food. Our educational
system teaches not to think, but to know the answer,
ith is hallempty. Until the churches can offer an
explanation for Buchenwald, or Siberia or Hiroshima.
they are only giving solace to the unimaginative. They
are neglecting the modern crisis. For all of us live
today as divided . Our hope for the future must
be shared with the terror that we may go explodi
into the heavens at the same instant 10,000,000 other
souls are being exploded besi Not surprising,
then, if many people no longer look to s s an act
whose final purpose is to continue the race.
Language is drowning in ja
nce be
between
ble diseases. Surgery may
lvanccs, but sickness
le us
эре ises. The mass of men
begin to have respect not lor those simple ideas which
arc mysteries, but on the contrary lor those s mple
ideas which are certitudes. Soon a discussion ol death
will be considered а betrayal of philosophy.
Finally, there is a vast alienation of man from re
sponsibility. One hundred years ago Marx w
bout the ali ion of man from his tools and the
product of his work. Today that alienation has gone
deeper. Today we are alicnated Irom our acts, A
writer 1 know interviewed Dr. Teller, “the lather
of the hydrogen bomb." There was g
test of that bomb soon, “Are you goi
ked the reporte
“Who is interested in th
is just a big ba
g to be a new
ng to see it?”
asked Teller. “Thi
167
PLAYBOY
168
BUCKLEY surprise by the East Germans
on August a усаг ago when the great wall was erected.
1 believe him — though it strikes me as strange that so
massive an accumulation of standby brick and mortar
ve escaped even the notice of ou
could ha CIA. The
result of our failure to have anticipated that wall has
been to freeze the dreams of one half of Germany and
chill the hopes of free men everywhere. In Laos we
were surprised by the militancy of the thrust from
the north and the intransigence of the Laotid
rectionary force; whereupon we yielded, midwifing a
government whose archetype we saw in Czechoslovakia
just after the War; we know, but haven't learned,
that coalition governments become Communist go
ernments; that who says A, must say В.
So it has gone, throughout the history of our engage-
ment with the Communist world; and only the Right,
and honorable and courageous but unrepresentative
members of the Left, have had the compassion to
their voices in sustained protest. "Never te:
sought to pacify us in 1947: "We have estab-
lished a policy of containment.” On the 15th annive
sary of the policy of containment we can peer 90 miles
off the Florida coast into Soviet-built muzzles. And on
the other side of the world, in Laos, those who fumble
trying to define the New Frontier learn that it has
crept 500 miles closer to us since Mr. Kennedy under-
took to set this nation to moving again.
It is said of the American Right Wing that we do
not trust our leaders. Nothing could be closer to the
truth. Our leaders are not Communists, or pro-
Communists, and are not suspected of being so, not-
withstanding the gleeful publicity that has been given
to the aberrations of a single conspicuous member of
the Right Wing who made a series of statements that
I would put up alongside some of the political com-
mentary of Herbert Matthews, Gore Vidal, and
Norman Mailer, as qualifying for the most foolish
political prose published during 1961. The Right
Wing, who are so often charged with wishing to escape
from reality, desire in fact 10 introduce reality to our
ideologized brothers on the Left; far from fleeing from
world responsibilities, we wish to acknowledge that
the weight of the world's problems does in fact lie
squarely on the shoulders of our leaders; and draw
attention to the fact that ders have been
losing the world war; and, insofar as a great many
human beings are personally concerned, have lost it
already. If you were a Cuban who believed in free-
dom, would you trust the leaders of America? Or if
you lived in East Berlin? Or Laos; or China, for ihat
matter? Our leaders are not Communists, but they
have consistently failed to grasp the elementary logic
of nuclear blackmail, with the result that we have
found ourselves without any strategy whatever — not
even enough strategy to enforce a doctrine we felt
capable of enforcing 140 years
‘The implicit logic of those of our leaders who de-
cline to fight for Cuba is the logic of defeat. Ultimately
their arguments must, by logical necessity, come down
to surrender. And indeed t exactly is the naked
word that is finally being used today by a few brave
cowards. “For the first time in America,” Mr. Joseph
Alsop wrote a year ago, “one or two voices are begin-
these J
MAILER Face to face with a danger they
cannot name, there are still many people on the Right
Wing who sense that there seems to be some almost
palpable conspiracy to tear life away from its roots.
Phere is a biological rage at the heart of much Right
Wing polemic. They feel as if somebody, or some group
— in New York no doubt — are trying to poison the
very earth, air and water of their existence. In their
Mind, this plague is associated with collectivism, and
I am not so certain they are wrong. The essence of
biology seems to be challenge and response, risk and
survival, war and the lessons of war. It may be biologi-
cally true. that life cannot have beauty without its
companion — danger. Collectivism promises security. It
spreads security the way а knife spreads margarine.
Collectivism may well choke the pores of life.
But there is a contradiction here. Not all of the
Right Wing alter all is individual and strong. Far
from it. The ht Wing knows better than 1 would
know how many of them are collectivists in their own
hearts, how many detest questions and want answers,
loathe paradox, and live with a void inside themselves,
a void of fear, a void of fear for the future and for
what is unexpected, which fastens upon Communists
as equal, one to one, with the Devil. The Right Wing
often speaks of freedom when what it desires is iron
law, when what it really desires is collectivism managed
by itself. IF the Right Wing is reacting to the plague,
all too many of the powerful people on the Right
—the presidents of more than a few corporations in
California, for mple re helping to disseminate
the plague. I do not know if this applies to Senator
Goldwater who may be an honorable and upright man,
but 1 think it can do no harm to take a little time
to study the application of his ideas.
Asa thoroughgoing conservative, the Senator be-
lieves in increasing personal liberty by enlarging cco-
nomic liberty. He is well known for his views. He
would reduce the cost of public wellare and diminish
the present power of the unions, he would lower the
income tax, dispense with subsidies to the farmer,
decentralize the Federal Government and € states!
rights back to the states, he would limit the Govei
ment’s spending, and he would discourage any inter-
ference by Washington in the education of the young.
H is a complete, comprehensive program. One may
agree with it or disagree. But no doubt it is a working
program. The reasonableness of this program is at-
tractive. It might even reduce the depredations of the
plague. There is just one trouble with it. И does not
stop here. Senator Goldwater takes one further step.
He would carry the cold war to the Soviet Union, he
would withdraw diplomatie. recognition, he would
recognize, | quote, th
“©. M our objective is victory over communism,
we must achieve superiority in all of the weapons
military, as well as political and economic — tha
may be useful in reaching that goal. Suc h
costs money, but so long as the money is spent wisely
nd efficiently, I would spend it. I am not in favor
of economizing on the nation's salety."
It is the sort of statement which inspires a novelist’s
imagination long enough to wonder what might hap-
pen to the Senator's program if he were elected Pres
dent. For we may be certain he is sincere in his desire
program
BUCKLEY ning to be heard, arguing that
what ought to be done is to surrender.’
"Mr. Kennedy says Berlin is not negotiable,” writes
Mr. John Crosby in his column. “Why isn’t it? Why
isn’t anything negotiable rather than thermonuclear
war?...Are we going to wipe out two-and-a-half billion
years of slow biological improvement in a thermo-
nuclear war? Over what — Berlin? 1 agree with Nehru
that to go to war under any circumstances for any-
tang at all in our world [presumably excepting Goa]
in our time is utter absurdity. . . . I certainly think
Berlin is negotiable and, as a matter of fact, Khruschev
is not even asking very much. . . . And after all, Com-
munism . . . is not that bad, and someday we're going
to have to face up to that. . . ." And Mr. Kenneth
Tynan, the English critic, agrees. “Better Red than
dead,” he writes, “seems an obvious doctrine for any-
one nol consumed by a death wish: I would rather live
on my knees than die on my knees."
Well, assuming it is death toward which we are
MAILER o achieve superiority in all the
weapons, including such ideological weapons as arriv-
ing first on the moon, But what of the cost? There is
one simple and unforgettable figure. More than 60
cents out of every dollar spent by the Government
is spent on military security already. Near to two
thirds of ever - And our national budget in 1963
will be in the neighborhood of $90.000,000,000. ТЕ we
add what will be spent on foreign aid, the figure will
come to more than 75 cents in every dollar.
Yet these expenditures have not given us a clear
superiority to the Soviet Union. On the contrary
nator Goldwater points out that we must still achieve
superiority, Presumably, he would increase the amount
of money spent on defense. This, I suppose, would
not hinder him from reducing the income tax, nor
would it force him to borrow further funds. He could
regain any moneys lost in this reduction by taking
the money from wellare and education, that is he
could il he didn't increase our defense efforts by more
+ SEMA —
169
PLAYBOY
170
BUCKLEY headed as a result of our deter-
mination to stay free, let it be said that Mr. Ty
would not need to die on his knees, but rather ading
up. Which is how those of his ancestors died before
Runnymede, at Agincourt and Hastings, at Dunkirk,
who fought for the freedom of their descendants to
exhibit their moral idiocy. Mr. Crosby advances as a
substitute for the slogan “Give me liberty or give me
death” the slogan: “John Crosby is too young to die."
Let them live. There remain impenetrable comers of
the Soviet Union where Messrs, Crosby and Tynan
could store up their 2500 calories per day and remain
absolutely free from the hounds of radioactivity
not from the hounds of Bolshevism. But they will
not go: they would have us all go: and they are right
in suggesting that their logic, because it is in greater
harmony with the inexplicit premises of American
foreign policy over the years, will prevail. It is at
odds only with official rhetoric, which is all wind -
the tiger Schlesinger typing out a 1000-word roar once
a month for the White House Department on Releas:
ing the Bellicose Energies of the Ma The implicit
cogency of surrender will, they leel sure, overcome
the defiant rhetoric, and ease us into a course of
condusive appeasement. It is implied by Messrs.
Crosby and ‘Tynan that the Right Wing seeks a war.
But in fact we seek to avoid war: And the surest way
void war is to assert our willingness to wage it,
dox that surely is not so complex as to elude
the understanding of professional students of the
drama. The appeasers and collaborators in our midst
seek to pour water in our gunpowder, and lead into
the muzzle of our cannon, and leave us defenseless in
the face of the enemy's musketry. There is no licit
use for a nuclear bomb, they are saying in effect, save
possibly to drop a small one on the headquarters of
the John Birch Society. But these are in fact the w
mongers, lor they whet the appetite of the enemy as
surcly as the stripteaser, by her progressive revelations,
whets the appetite of her clients. “However 1 survey
the future,” concludes Kenneth Tynan, *
10 me nothing noble" in dying. "I want my wife to
have another child, and I want to see that child learn
to walk." Those in the West of civilized mind and
heart are engaged in trying to make just that possible,
the birth of another child to Kenneth Tynan, always
assuming he has left the virility to procreate one.
n is what we conserv
ibout us. Disintegration and acquiescence in it. T]
community accepts calmly and fatalistically the
march ol events of the past years. History will remark
that in 1945, victorious and omnipotent, the United
States declined to secure for Poland the rights over
which a great world war had broken out; and that a
mere 16 years later — Who says B, must say C — we
broke into a panicked flight from the responsibilities
of the Monroe Doctrine, which we had hurled as a
fledgling republic in the face of the omnipotent powers
of the Old World 140 years ago, back when America
was a great nation, though not a great power. It is the
neral disintegration of a shared understanding of
ning of the world and our place in it that made
ı liberalism possible, and American conserva-
lism inevitable.
For the American Right is based on the assumption
“there seems
MAILER than 10 percent, for if he did i
we would be spending more already than the mone
we now spend on welfare. And of course that part
of the population which would be most affected. by
the cessation of welfare, that is, so to speak, the impov-
erished part of the population, might not be happy.
And it is not considered wise to have a. portion of thc
populace unhappy when one is expanding one's ability
t0 go to war, unless one wishes to put them in
uniform. Perhaps Goldwater might not reduce the
expenditures on welfare during this period. He might
conceivably increase them a little in order to show
that over the short period, during the crisis, during
the arms buildup while we achieve superiority over
the Russians, a conservative can take just as good care
of the masses as a liberal. Espcci Пу since we n
assume the Russians would be tr
ority over
superiority over them, so that an arms and munitions
competition would be taking place and there would
be enough money spent for everyone.
But let me move on to education where the problem
is more simple. To achieve superiority over the Russians
there, we simply need more technicians, engincers and
scientists, We also have to build the laboratories in
which to teach them. Perhaps, most reluctantly, just
for the duration ol the crisis, which is to say for the
duration of his period in office, President Goldwater
уе to increase the Federal budget for educa-
would be contrary to his principles. But
perhaps he could recover some ol those expenditures
sking the farmer to dispense with subsidies. The
rmer would not mind if additional Government
funds were allocated to education and wellare, and he
was not included. The farmer would not mind il the
corporations of America, General Dynamics and
seneral Motors, General Electric, United States Steel
ad AT&T. were engaged in rather large new defense
contracts. No, the farmer would not mind relinquish-
ing his subsidy. Not at all. Still, to keep him as happy
veryone else Goldwater might increase his subsidy.
Just for the duration of the crisis. Just for the duration
of enlightened conservatism in office. It would not
matter about the higher income tax, the increased
urm subsidies, the enlarged appropriation for welfare,
the new magnified role of the Federal Government in
education, President Goldwater could still. give the
states back their rights. He would not have to integrate
the schools down South, He could drive the Russians
out of the Congo, while the White Councils were clos-
ing the white colleges in order not to let a black man
in. Yes, he could. For the length of a 20-minute speech
Phoenix, Arizona, he could, But you know and 1
know and he knows what he would do — he would
do what President Eisenhower did, He would send
troops in to
would do t
ol the Congo.
Poor President. Goldwater. At I
down on the power of the unions. He could
Right-to-Work act. Indeed he could. He could c
the war to the Russians, he could achieve superiority
while the unions of America were giving up the
power and agreeing not to strike. Yes. Yes. OF course
he could. Poor President Goldwater. He might have
to end by passing a law which would make it i al
g to achieve superi-
s at the same time we are trying to achieve
e
tegrate the schools of the South. He
if he wanted to keep the Russians out
t he could cut
ss а
"Can't you read?”
171
PLAYBOY
172
BUCKLEY па however many things there
are that we don’t know, there are some things we do
know; on the assumption that some questions are
closed, and that our survival as a nation depends on
our acting bravely on those assumptions, without
whose strength we are left sounding like Eisenhower,
which is to say organically unintelligible; rhetoricizing
like Kennedy, which is to leave it to Madison Avenue
to make nonaction act; or wi g like Mailer, which is
to write without "beginning to know what one is, or
what one wants" — the criticism of Mailer made by his
friend, my enemy, Gore Vidal.
То win this one, ladies and gentlemen, it will take
nerve, and take courage, and take a certain kind of
humility, the humility that makes man acknowledge
the demands of duty. But it takes also a quiet and un-
shakable pride, the pride of knowing that with all its
faults, with all its grossness, with all its appalling in-
justices, great and small, we live here in the West
nder a small ray of light, while over there there is
blackness, total, impenetrable. “You have to care about
other people to share your perception with them,”
Norman Mailer has written. But nowadays, he con-
fesses, “there are too many times when I no longer give
а good goddamn for most of the human race." It is
tempting to observe that nothing would better serve
the good ends of the goddamn human race than
to persuade Mr. Mailer to neglect us; but I shall resist
the temptation, and predict instead that those liber-
ating perceptions that Mr. Mailer has been wrestling
to formulate for, lo, these many years, those ideas
that catapult him to the Presidency, are, many
of them, like the purloined letter, lying about loose
in the principles and premises, the organon, of the
“What say we go up to my place and
break some resolutions . . .
MAILER ever to pass a Right-to-Work law.
Under Goldwater, the American people would never
have to be afraid of creeping socialism. They would
just have state conservatism, creeping state сопѕег-
vatism. Yes, there are conservatives like the old lady
who wished to save the trees and there are conservatives
who talk of saving wees in order to get the power
to cut down the trees.
So long as there is a cold war, there cannot be a
conservative administration in America. There cannot
for the simplest reason. Conservatism depends upon
a huge reduction in the power and the budget of the
c Government. Indeed, so long as there is а
cold war, there are no polities of consequence in
America. It matters less each year which party holds
the power. Before the enormity of defense expendi-
tures, there is no alternative to an ever-increasing
welfare state. It can be an interesting welfare state
like the present one, or a dull welfare state like Presi-
dent ^ in even be a totally repressive
isenhower's. It
welfare state like President Goldwater's well might
be. But the conservatives might recognize that greater
economic liberty is not possible so long as one is build-
ing a greater war machine. To pretend that both can
cal is hypocritical beyond belief. The conservatives
are then merely mouthing impractical ideas which
they presume may bring them power. They are suffi-
ciently experienced to know that only liberalism can
lead America into total war without popular violence,
or an active underground.
There is an alternative. Perhaps it is ill-founded.
Perhaps it is impractical. 1 do not know enough to
say. 1 fear there is no one in this country who knows
enough to say. Yet I think the time may be approach-
ing for a great debate on this alternative. L say that at
least this alternative is no more evil and по more vision-
ary than Barry Goldwater's promise of a conservative
America with superiority in all the weapons. So I say —
in modesty and in doubt, I say — the alternative may be
to end the cold war. The cold war has been an instru-
ment of mcgalomaniacal delusion to this country. It is
the poison of the Right Wing. It is the poison they feed
themselves and it is the poison they feed the nation.
Communism may be evil incarnate, but it is a most
complex evil which seems less intolerable today than
it did under Stalin. I for one do not understand an
absolute evil which is able to ameliorate its own evil.
I say an evil which has captured the elements of the
good is complex. To insist communism is a simple
phenomenon can only brutalize the minds of the
American people. Already, it has given this country
over to the power of every huge corporation and or-
ganization i a. It has helped to create an
America run by committees. It has stricken us with
secret waste and hatred. It has held back the emer-
gence of an America more alive and more fantasti
than any America yet created.
So I say: End the cold war. Pull back our bound-
aries to what we can defend and to what wishes to
be defended. There is one dread advantage to atomic
war. It enables one powerful nation to be the equal
of many nations. We do not have to hold every loose
piece of real estate on carth to have security. Let
communism come to those countries it will come to.
Let us not use up our substance trying to hold onto
BUCKLEY movement the Left finds it so
fashionable to ridicule.
There, in all that mess, he will, for instance, run
into the concept of duty, which presupposes the valid-
ity of nonpersonalized standards. Why this retreat from
duty? Because our leaders are, when all is said and
done, scared. “We will take Berlin,” Khrushchev said
to an American cabinet officer, “and you will do
nothing about it.” Why won't we do anything about it?
Because we might get hurt — as individuals, we might
suffer, and so we rush into the great comforting bosom
of unreality, who strokes our locks and tells us nothing
will happen to us if only we will negotiate, keep send-
ing lots of foreign aid to India, lots more sit-ins to
Georgia, and lots more McCarthyites to Coventry.
The flight from reality by those who are scared . . .
“I have only one life to give for my count the
liberal says, “and my country isn't worth it.” “Could
you imagine yourself living happily in a Communist
society?” the interviewer recently asked C. P. Snow,
the liberals’ Renaissance Man. “T think so," answered
Sir Charles. “If you had to, if somebody said you've
got lo live in America or live in Russia for the rest
of your days, which would you choose?” “Well, that
is very difficult. I think, to be honest, I could be
very happy in either of them.”
Members of the Right Wing could not.
The true meaning of the American Right Wing,
Mr. Mailer, is commitment, a commitment on the
basis of which it becomes possible to take measure-
ments. That is true whether in respect of domestic
policy — about which more during the last half of this
program — or foreign policy. For those on the radical
Left with Norman Mailer, and for so many Americans
on the moderate Left, the true meaning of our time
is the loss of an operative set of values—what one
might call an expertise in living. For them there is
no ground wire, and without a ground the voltage
fluctuates wildly, wantonly, chasing after the imme-
diate line of least resistance — which, in Cuba is
Do Nothing. For those, like Norman Mailer, who
have cut themselves off from the Great Tradition, one
observes that it is not truly important that a Laos has
been dismembered, or that a great wall has gone up
through Berlin, or that a Cuba has been communized:
Mailer's world is already convulsed, at a much higher
level, and he has no ear for such trivia as these. For
he views the world as groaning under the weight of
unmanageable paradoxes, so that Euclidean formu-
lations, Christian imperatives, Mosaic homilies become,
all of them, simply irrelevant; worse, when taken ѕегі-
ously, these are the things that get in the way of his own
absorption with himself, in the way of that apocalyptic
orgasm which he sees as the end objective of indi-
vidual experience.
How strange it is that all the Establishment’s schol-
ars, all the Establishment’s men, have not in the last
half dozen years written a half dozen paragraphs that
truly probe the true meaning of the American Right
Wing. They settle instead for a frenzied, paranoid
denunciation. Indeed the Left has discovered that the
threat is really internal. There is no enormity too
grotesque or too humorless to win their wide-eyed
faith. I have seen some of them listen respectfully to
the thesis that people in America belong to the Right
MAILER nations which are poor, underde-
veloped, and bound to us only by the depths of their
hatred for us. We cannot equal the effort the Commu-
nists make in such places. We are not dedicated in
that direction, We were not born to do that. We have
had our frontier already. We cannot be excited to
our core, our historic core, by the efforts of new
underdeveloped nations to expand their frontiers.
No, we are better engaged in another place, we are
engaged in making the destiny of Western man, a
destiny which seeks now to explore out beyond the
moon and in back into the depths of the soul. With
some small fraction of the money we spend now on
defense we can truly defend ourselves and Western
Europe, we can develop, we can become extraordina
we can goa little further toward completing the heroic
vision of Western man. Let the Communists flounder
in the countries they acquire. The more countries
they hold, the less supportable will become the con-
tradictions of their ideology, the more bitter will grow
the divisions in their internal interest, and the more
enormous their desire to avoid a war which could
only destroy the economies they will have developed
at such vast labor and such vast waste. Let it be
their waste, not ours. Our mission may be not to
raise the level of minimum subsistence in the world
so much as it may be to show the first features and
promise of that incalculable renaissance men may
someday enter. So let the true war begin. It is not
a war between West and East, between capitalism and
communism, or democracy and totalitarianism; it is
rather the deep war which has gone on for six centuries
in the nature of Western man, it is the war between
the conservative and the rebel, between authority and
“No, you cannot be bitten by Richard
Burton instead of the snake!”
173
PLAYBOY
174
BUCKLEY wing out of resentment over
their failure to get their sons into Groton; and I
remember the rumor that swept the highest counsels
of the ADA and the Washington Post in 1954 that
Senator McCarthy was accumulating an arsenal of
machine guns and rifles in the cellar of the Senate
Office Building. .. . And, of course, we all know that
they continue to believe in Santa Claus.
“Therefore they took them and beat them, and
besmeared them with dirt, and put them into the
cage, that they might be made а spectacle to all the
men of the fair.” And the charge was brought against
them by the principal merchants of the City: “That
they were enemies to and disturbers of their trade;
that they had made commotions and divisions in the
town.” Thus John Bunyan wrote about the town of
Vanity, and how it greeted those in the city who came
to buy the truth.
"Lam frankly all but ignorant of theology,” Norman
Mailer writes. If he wants to learn something about
the true nature of the American Right Wing, 1 recom-
mend to him the works lents Matthew, Mark,
Luke and John.
The foregoing statements by Messrs. Mailer and Buch-
ley, written exclusively for PLAYBOY, were subsequently
read by them as preambles to а debate on the Amer-
ican Right Wing today, a transcript of which (also a
PLAYBOY exclusive) will appear in our next issue.
“You call this ‘Just a little present?!”
MAILER instinct, between the two views of
God which collide in the mind of the West, the cere-
monious conservative view which believes that if God
allows one man to be born wealthy and another poor,
we must not tamper unduly with this conception of
place, this form of society created by God, for it is
possible the poor man is more fortunate than the rich,
since he may be judged less severely on his retu
to eternity. That is the conservative view and it is
not a mean nor easy view to deny,
The rebel or the revolutionary might argue, how-
ever, that the form of society is not God's creation,
but a result of the war between God and the Devil,
that this form is no more than the line of the E
field upon which the Devil distributes wealth ag;
God's best intention. So man must serve as God's
agent, seeking to shift the wealth of our universe in
such a way that the talent, creativity and strength of
the future, dying now by dim dull deaths in every
poor man alive, will come to take its first breath, will
show us what a mighty rena ncc is locked in the
unconscious of the dumb. It is the argument which
claims that no conservative can ever be certain those
imbued with the value ol trad n did not give more
devotion to their garden, their stable, their kennel,
the livery of their servant and the orato 1 style of
their clergyman than God intended. Which conserva-
tive indeed can be certain that if his dass once em-
bodied some desire of the Divine Will, that it has
not also now incurred God's displeasure alter all these
centuries of organized Christianity and enormous
Christian greed? Which cons e can swear that
it was not his class who gave the world a demonstration
of greed so complete, an expropriation and spoilation
of backward lands and simple people so avid, so
vicious, so insane, a class which finally gave such suck
to the Devil, that the most backward primitive in the
darkest jungle would sell the grave and soul of his
dearest ancestor lor a machine with which to fight back?
"That is the war which has meaning, that great and
mortal debate between rebel and conservative where
cach would argue the other is an agent of the Devil.
That is the war we can welcome, the war we can expect
if the cold war will end. It is the war which will take
life and power from the statistical congelations of the
Center and give it over to Left and to Right, it is
the war which will teach us our meaning, where we
will discover ourselves and whether we good and
where we are not, so it is the war which will give the
West what is great within it, the war which gives birth
to art and furnishes strength to fight the plague. Art,
free inquiry and the liberty to speak may be the only
cure against the plague.
But first, 1 say, first there is another debate America
must have. Do we become totalitarian or do we end
the cold war? Do we accept the progressive collectivi-
tion of our lives which eternal cold war must bring,
or do we gamble on the chance that we have arma-
ment enough already to be secure and to be free,
nd do we seek therefore to discover ourselves, and
Nature willing, discover the conservative or rebellious
temper of these tortured times? And when we are done,
will we know truly who has spoken within us, the
Lord, or the
[
MAN'S CREDO
ON VICE
OF ALL THE DEIF
grace this world, 1
most pernicious, the most to be dr
No evils сап be compared with its
nd malignant spirit. Bigotry consist
being obstinately and permanently at-
ched to our own opinions. The habit-
al critic is essentially an obstructionist.
He is a stranger to constructive and help-
ful methods. Personal opini has be-
come his ruler and sclf-exaggeration his
monitor. His views are to his perverted
sense synonymous with absolute right.
лмьгпох is the original of vices, the
mother of hypocrisy, the parent of envy,
the engineer of deceit.
THE GENERAL RUN of men sink in virtue
as they rise in fortune. Give a man the
necessitics of life, and he wants the
conveniences. Give him the conven-
iences, and he craves for the luxuri
rant him the luxuries, and he si;
the elegances. Let him the ele:
and he yearns for the follies. Give 1
1 together, and he complains that he
been cheated both in the price and
quantity of the articles.
HUMAN NATURE Will someday come face-
to-face with human destiny — what an ex-
plosion there will bel
ON LIVING WITH MEANING
to the grave, in his
his concep-
tions of the world, and of himself, the
man of modern times struggles through a
ndless complications. Nothing
y longer; neither thought nor
action; not even dying.
I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED that the man
who has begun to live more seriously
within begins to live more simply with-
ош. In an age of extravagance and
waste, | wish г, could show to the world
how few the real wants of humanity
1 WOULD RATHER be able to appreciate
things 1 can't
Гат not able to appre
IT'S AMAZING to me how many precious
moments are wasted cedless self-
indulgence, in frivolous pursuits, in idle
conversation, in uc and uscless rev-
clry. To widen your life without deep-
ening it is only to weaken
you MUST ACT. Inactive contemplation
is a dangerous condition for the mind.
We should not dream away our lives.
BETTORS AND GAMBLERS usually die poor.
But even where young men have made
lucky stroke, the result is too often a
n They neglect the necessary,
t Гого. The habit of industry
Work becomes distasteful,
for chances
imple
ot please
er come,
ARE ALWAYS SEEKING shortcuts
to happiness. There are no shortcuts.
A GREAT STEP
learned that
between lik;
made when а man has
there no connection
g a thing and doing it. A
(continued from page 121)
characteristic of great writers is their
intense earnestness. Their lives are often
sad and cheerless, but they
idle. Whatever they do. whether. in
religion, politics, education or work for
daily bread, they do with all their might.
are n
er
ON SOLITUDE
SOMETIM!
iness,
BUT COURAGEOUS MEN h
forced solitude to account. in executing
works of great importance. It soli-
tude that the passion for perfection best
s itself. The soul communes with
loncliness until i
s 1 WRITE all day from lone-
ve often turned.
to be happy, he must have more time
to himself.
BUT WHETHER A MAN PROFITS by soli-
tude or not will mainly depend upon his
owi ning and. cha
ter. While, in tured man, soli-
tude will make the pure heart purer, in
the small-natured man it will only serve
to make the ha t still harder. For
though solitude may be the nurse of
great spirits, it is the torment of small
ones,
pur A wRITER should never live apart
from the world when he is not writing,
I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN more interested in
men and women than in ideas. 1 am
bored by movies, television and theater;
though gifted raconteurs make poor
writers, 1 would rather talk to anybody
or listen to anybody talking.
MANY WILL SEEK your friendship while
you have much to When you песа
to receive, the number of your friends
will be d hed, but their quality will
be improved.
ac-
ON LOVE
s the universal creator of man
. Love is the unive!
LOVE
and the un
instinct. Love enlarges the scope of the
mind, enhances the mental faculties, clar-
ifics emotion and gives poise to enthusi-
asm. Love lives and increases her store
by giving. Her genius is in sharing all
that she possesses and all that she is.
Love is reciprocal. To understand. an-
other is onc of life's richest bles:
to be understood by another is perhaps
love's sweetest and most satisfying gilt.
Love gives without thinking of return.
Love is honest and patient, thou
bout her be faithless, d nd tur-
bulent. Love recognizes neither ti
space nor outward separation. She multi-
plies joys, displaces friction and discord
with harmony, judges not by appi
тсе. the ultimate of existence,
the principle of brotherhood, the essence
of character, the basis of fellowship. Love
looks tor the good everywhere and under
all conditions, and finds it. Love rew
the plan of the universe and the d
acter of a man at a single glance. And
religion is simply love lived.
ngs, and
ove
ON PRESENT AND FUTURE
DAY we are not in any backwater of
history, but on the top of the tide and
moving with a sweep that is irresistible.
The great days are not gone; the great
days are here, and greater days are
'RFASED FACILITIES for travel and
the growth of surplus wealth annually
send a great steam of visitors up and
down the earth. Everybody goes every-
where, and is likely to come back home
a broader and worthicr man, with some-
what less antipathy to his fellows, and
а deeper ation of the truth that
his own highest welfare is incxtricably
bound up with the whole race to which
belongs. However ntly, the heart of
humanity is beginning to beat as one.
reali
“Mind if I sing you a song of the open road?”
175
PLAYBOY
S0 I'M LATE а COUPLE Days!
ANNIE, SWEETHEART | HAVE GIFTS
FOR. YOU-- PERFUMES FROM THE
CONTINENT-- PEARLS FROM THE
ORIENT--.JUST LET ME GET
THESE THINGS OFF ~- AND —
176
|S WE MAKE READY TO WEARILY RING OUT
THE OLD AND HOPEFULLY RING IN THE
SANTA CLAUS! -- wa THIS IS
& SURPRISE! WHAT EVER ARE
YOU DOING HERE TONIGHT?
HOHOHO, ANNIE FANNY
IT'S A VERY SPECIAL NIGHT
TONIGHT A HOLIDAY NIGHT!
DO YOU KNOW WHY 1
SHOULD NOT COME BEARING
GIFTS ON THIS NIGHT?
Now JUST &
MINUTE! 1 DONT ANNIE!
CARE IF YOU ARE DON'T YOU
| SANTA CLAUS! YOU é gh RECOGNIZE
BUTTON UP AND
GET OUT OF HERE!
annie? Y
IS SOME-
ONE IN
HERE WITH
You?
LOOK, RUTHIE! IT'S My DADDY
BIGBUCKS! ISN'T IT WONDERFUL 2
HE'S COME HOME FOR THE
HOLIDAYS! HE ISN'T MY REAL DADDY,
BUT THAT'S WHAT | CALL HIM.
s
ANNIE! SHAME - SHAME, STANDING
AROUND LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF
YOUR DADDY BIGBUCKS, BESIDES...
YOU'VE GOT TOGET INTO YOUR
COSTUME AND GET READY FOR
OUR COSTUME PARTY!
THERE! NOW РМ DRESSED!-..DO
YOU LIKE MY COSTUME, DADDY?
1 CALL IT "THE NEW FRONTIER"!
OH, DADDY! WHY DON'T YOU
CH, MY! I'M SO
EXCITED | FOR-
GOT THAT I'M NOT
DRESSED!
NO, ANNIE. PLL COME
FREE
COME WITH MY
ASSISTANT--THE WASP!
THE waspe! YES-- AS A MATTER OF FACT,
HERE? BRRR-
HE'S SO SILENT
“YOU NEVER KNOW
~ HE'S AROUND,
THE WASP HAS BEEN HERE ALL
THE TIME ~- SILENT IMPERTURBABLE
~ BEHIND YOUR DRESSING
SCREEN.
AH, THERE NOW, WASP!
YOU CAN COME OUT NOW,
WASP! COME ON OUT OF
IT, WASP! SNAP OUT OF
HE WAS THERE ALL THE
TIME | WAS DRESSING?
> OH, EXCUSE ME,
DADDY! THE GUESTS
ARE ARRIVING! x
177
PLAYBOY
178
i] THE WASP HELPFUL, "М SURE~-
OH, DADDY. IT'S THE FRESH f RING A
YOUNG COLLEGE KIDS FROM | YEAR, E
DOWN THE STREET TRYING к=
ТО CRASH OUR PaRTY— Jf can we LIKE
BORROW A CUP OF
MARTINI, NEIGHBOR?,
WHY INCUR THE LAWS DELAYS? THE WASP CAN
HANDLE YOUR FRESH YOUNG COLLEGE KIDS,
1 HAVE WORLDS TO
CONQUER, SWEETHEART,
BUT DON'T LET MY BUSINESS
INTERFERE. YOU WILL FIND
GET IN HERE?
THE MASTER.
REGRETS THE
INCONVENIENCE
BUT HE MUST
USE THE ROOM
TEMPORARILY!
A PERFECT AID IN AFFAIRS
OF THIS SOKT-- SOFT SPOKEN
AND WELL- BRED = HE'S A
GENTLEMAN OF GOOD TASTE,
HEY! самт 1 |
LIFE, ONE HELPS ONE'S SELF! — SAY THERE, BOYS:
COME WITH ME, I'D LIKE YOU 10 MEET THE WASP,
OH, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE MY
DADDY? HE'S SO MASTERFUL!
f ANNIE, SWwEETHEART-- DON'T MIND
МЕ! I'LL HAVE ТО CONDUCT SOME
BUSINESS FROM A CORNER OF
THE APARTMENT ~- PHONE CALLS,
ETC,- SO JUST GO ABOUT YOUR.
SAY, ANNIE Ñ
WHERE'S BENTON
BATTBARTON 2... HE
JUST ARRIVED DRESSED
AS A FRESH YOUNG
COLLEGE KID. í WORK, THE WASP WILL HELP YOU,
A
4
BUT ! WAS INVITED
I'M A TIGER, FIGHTING FOR
HERE BY ANNIE —
SURVIVAL IN A JUNGLE, SOME-
TIMES MY METHODS REQUIRE
FORCE --- EVEN KILLING ~- BUT
ALWAYS IN GOOD TASTE, MY
DEAR, SO DON'T MIND МЕ!
“НЕШО, BERLIN? NOW REGARDS
THAT SHIPMENT OF BIGBUCKS
WALL-BUILDING BLOCKS —
MY MASTER
OFFERS A
THOUSAND
APOLOGIES FOR
THIS DISCOMFORT,
p - FORGIVE THE MASTER FOR.
HELLO- BILLIE? ЅАҮ-. САМ YOU USE ANY- V Foe? N REQUISITIONING а SMALL
T MORE OF THOSE FERTILIZER TANKS?--NO | | was PAID WHAT CORNER OF THE APARTMENT
MORE, KIDDO2... | UNDERSTAND — IN FULL, BUT KIND OF ] TO CONDUCT HIS BUSINESS -~ AND
KNOW 1 ому ү PARTY | PLEASE DO NOT LET HIM DISTRACT
SHIPPED HALF oF J| 1579152 Д YOU FROM CONDUCTING YOUR
SMITH? COSTUME PARTY HERE —
LISTEN! DID
осе E z NO REFUNDS!
WE'VE GOT TO GFA | SHOULDN'T EVEN
UNLOAD THOSE BE TALKING TO
JETS BEFORE 4 vou! AFTER ALL,
THEY BECOME К
OBSOLETE,
ANNIE THIS IS TERRIBLE! THE GUESTS ARE POURING
IN AND YOUR DADDY IS USING UP THE WHOLE HOW DARLING! SOMEONE DRESSED
APARTMENT! ALL WE HAVE IS THE KITCHEN! 4 LIKE TARZAN AND JANE!
LOOK! LOOK, RUTHIE! OH WHAT FUN!- SOME-
ONE DRESSED JUST LIKE MARSHAL DILLON!
MAH NAME'S
RALPHIE TOWZER
MA'AM HAYE GUN
WILL TRAVELT
HOW MARVELOUS! SOMEONE DRESSED | OH, HOW PRECIOUS! GUNS THAT
ST LIKE THE 1, UNTOUCHABLES!
MA'M ~~ WE'RE WITH THE
А кв.
PLAYBOY
180
OH, RUTHIE! LOOK AH, THE LITTLE MISSY'S BIG HEART IS MASTER = IT IS TIME FOR US TO LEAVE ~
AT THIS ONE! ONLY EQUALLED BY HER BIG MOUTH. THE HELICOPTER 15 ON THE ROOF.
ISN'T HE A SCREAM? iz 7
HOW CLEVER TO A "| ANNIE, DEAR, HISIS MY Î { LEAVING? Y I'M SORRY, BABY, BUT I'M OFF
MAN, SHAZAM, AND THAT'S BEFORE TO BRAZIL TO CONCLUDE AN
oS NATURAL COSTUME, MIDNIGHT? | IMPORTANT STOCK TRANSACTION.
À
2
Sa
INVENT SUCH A
GOOFY COSTUME-
OH, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO THIS
\ TIME, Сарот? а CAPITAL GAINS E cray TO WELCOME IN THE À LISTEN! SINCE ICANT
2 2
DEALE AA UNDERWRITING" NEW YEAR WITH ME. MJ! Stick AROUND UNTIL
сз SY MIDNIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU
PM UP TO AN ESCAPE, W AH, LITTLE GIRL = WHEN YOU WHAT м GOING TO DO—
SWEETHEART, THEY CAN'T TURN THOSE EABY BLUES ON,
EXTRADITE ME FROM BRAZIL. 5 HOw CAN | RESIST?
| CANT WAIT FOR. THE NEW YEAR, BUT 1 CAN BRING Fg: — YOU WILL
ка SING “Au!
! WANT MIDNIGHT! SING “AULD,
=
WELL, IT'S GOODBYE MASTER, | Y PLEASE TO | f WHERE | GO, THE FIGHT
AGAIN, LITTLE TYKE. 4 а LIE DOWN ) FOR THE INDIVIDUAL
THEY'RE TRYING TO ON FLOOR, ] ) AND UNRESTRICTED
TIE ME DOWN--TO Ñ ЧА EVERYBODY! NTERPRISE GOES
ON! wE'LL MEET
HARNESS ME ~ SO I'VE
3 Д AGAIN, SOON—
Ё GOODBYE, ANNIE, SWEETHEART!
YOU'LL ALWAYS ВЕ MY LITTLE GIRL =-
AND REMEMBER. WHEREVER | AM.
FREEDOM LIVES!
=
THERE GOES THE SPIRIT THERE GOES A
GOES = AND, OF RUGGED INDIVIDUALISM, VISION OF THE
TS FLYING INTO THE NIGHT--- A FUTURE = OF Y
CLOCK. INTO THE NEW YEAR — THINGS To Come!
PLAYBOY
182
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“STIFF UPPER LIP, JEEVES"—A ROLLICKING NEW NOVELETTE OF LOVE AND
SKULDUGGERY IN THE ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE—BY Р. G. WODEHOUSE
“FRANK SINATRA SPEAKS OUT"'—THE LEADER BARES HIS VIEWS ON FAITH,
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“THOSE AMERICAN VIRGINS"—HOW AND WHERE TO HAVE YOUR FUN ON
OUR ISLANDS IN THE SUN—BY A. C. SPECTORSKY
“THE LITTLE WORLD OF STAN FREBERG''—SATIRE'S ACE ENTREPRENEUR
AND HOW HE GOT THAT WAY—BY RICHARD WARREN LEWIS
“BEYOND GRAVITY"—AN ARRESTING INQUIRY INTO THE LIMITS OF THE
POSSIBLE: CHARTING THE PATH TO LEVITATION—BY ARTHUR C. CLARKE
“THE 1963 PLAYBOY JAZZ ALL-STARS"—WINNERS OF THE SEVENTH
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CILBEY'S DISTILLED LONDON DRY CIN. 90 PROOF. 00-2 GRAIN NEUTRAL SPIRITS. VODKA BO £ 100 PROOF. DISTILLED FROM 100% GRAIN. W. £A. CILBEY, LTD., CINCINNATI, 0. DISTRIBUTED BY NATIONAL DISTILLERS PRODS. C0,
New York City’s famons Park Avenue at the holiday season as interpreted by Georgette de Lattre
For holiday cheer...“the world agrees on *"Gilbey's, please’!”” A quality symbol
of holiday hospitality—dry, smooth, Havorful Gilbey's in the famous frosty bottle is
a generations-old tradition in the most popular holiday drinks. Give, serve, enjoy
Gilbey's Gin...and don't forget Gilbey’s Vodka to make holiday pleasure complete.
real
in a great light beer
Schlitz is brewed with pride and just the kiss of the hops to
bring the character of the beer to life.
So why don’t you get together with Schlitz, the Beer that
made Milwaukee Famous. . . simply because it tastes so good.
© 1963 Jos. Schlitz Brewing Co., Milwoukee, Wis., Brooklyn, N. Y., Los Angeles, Col, Kansox City, Mo.. Tompa. Flo.
qus