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PLAYBILL 


Last Jury, in our pictorial on The Bun- 
nies. we mentioned that Teddi Smith, а 
former Playmate-Bunny (July 1960), had 
switched 10 а receptionists post in our 
office and was taking writing courses in 
hopes of breaking imo print. This 
month, Teddi breaks into. PrAvnov — 
photographically, that is— по less than 
f s. For an opener, she's the 
bounteous bathing beauty on this is- 
sue's cover. On page 111. she's the doll 
in the middle of the doorway 
annual Fall and Winter Fashion. Fore- 
cast. And, in the same feature. she pops 
up again in a Rolls-Royce rumble seat on 
page 113. Then, on page 183, she be- 
comes a potential corpse in the dramatic 
illustration of 1 Didn't Happen, Fredric 
Brown's suspenseful tale of a man who 
went beyond reality. Ultimately, on page 
159, she shows up as а guest in the VIP 
Room of her old hutch-haunt, the Chi 
cago Playboy Club, in a nine-page tour 
of our own Disneyland for Adults. (In 
the same feature, you'll find news of the 
first overseas link our international 
key chain as well as sketches of several 
Clubs to come.) 

As long-time 
we are pl 


n our 


fans of Lenny Bruce. 
ascd to present, beginning in 
this issue, Bruce’s articulate and intro- 
spective autobiography. How 10 Talk 
Dirty aud Influence People. While his 
supporters tend to think of Lenny as a 
Cause, and his enemies are apt to view 


him as a Menace, the book, we think, 


will prove that Bruce is above all a 
very human human being. Says comedian 
Bruce of author Brucc's efforts: “What I 
want is a bad review from Time and a 
good write-up ina magazine that wouldn't 
ordinarily review books. Wouldn't. you 
flip 
chanics, 
house for Our Flully Friend the Wren’? 
Indi (Jaw lal Nehru is 
the subject this month Playboy Inter- 
view which probes beneath his outward. 
calm t0 assess the strength and stress of a 
m lale the diu 
sicrous chasm of a divided world. 
Producer David Merrick. the terrible- 
tempered boss of Broadway. doesn't like 
reporters. ‘This was the first thing w 
reporter Alvin Toffler learned after he 
told Merrick that he wanted to interview 
him for a personality piece to appear in 
Lavov, Complaining that every 
vious article about him had been poison- 
penned and based on research hastily 
heral from newspaper mo 
rick challenged Toffler to first “Go out 
and talk to the people who know me— 
tage people, actors, directors . . .” 


1 got a tribute in Popular Me- 


ight after ‘How to Make a Bird- 


s doque 


who has chose: 


to st 


iter 


ah pie- 


[TOFFLER 


And that. as you'll sec in The Little 
World of David Merrick, is precisely 
what Tofer did. “He may be sorry I 
did,” reflects Alvin, "but I hope that isn’t 
the сазе. 1 hope, in fact, that whether he 
likes the piece or not. he will admit that 
it was researched at first hand and writ- 
ten without prejudice.” 

PLAYBov regular Bernard Wolfe sup- 
plies our lead fiction this month with 
The Going Price [or Adoration. an ironic 
look at Hollywood idolatry аз 
through the jaded eyes of Wolfe's hero- 
hack, Gordon Rengs. The entire Rengs 
eyele will he published in novel form 


seen. 


before closing 
t to be printed) of the Oc 
after the rest of the may 


Just 


word from th assy in 

Washingto ew with 
ne Minister Nehru was not, in 

fact, the result of an exclusive, р 

sonal conversation with the head of 

the Indian state, but simply а gath- 

ering together of public pronounce 

ments made by the Prime М 

in various speeches 

over the past several 

Nehru m: 

by а wellre 


famous personages 
it was sold as а 
recorded on 


gether. There was no reason to doubt 
nd we consequently 

per- 

w. However, an official 


ent 
r attempts to т 
terviewer for fu 
have proved unsuccessful, editorial 
і y requires that we pr 
went. 


WOLFE SOURIAN 


soon by Scribner's, under the tide Come 
on Out, Daddy. “H is, in a very solid way. 
a PLAYBOY book,” says Wolfe. "About 
half of the book first appeared in the 
magazine, including the title chapter.” 

Jack Finney is back this month with 
a short story called No Time for the 
Billiard Ballet, in which two young cou- 
ples make elaborate plans to elude the 
eight ball of suburban Old 
masters and young mistresses comprise 
The Calfayan Collection by PLaypoy new- 
comer Peter Sourian. While Collection is 
the first Sourian story to appear in a 
major magazine, he has two successful 
novels (Miri: The Best and the Worst of 
Times) to his credit and is now working 
on a thiid. Sourian, a 30-year-old New 
Yorker. teaches extension courses at NYU, 
and says he's "the kind of snob who pre- 
fers boiled coffee to literary teas. 

I spent a good portion of my carly 
life on the chugging 
Chuck Beaumont, expl; 
tion with the subject of Lament for the 
High Iron, a fond farewell to the gr 
days of railroading. Beaumont is cur- 
rently teaching а creativ 
UCLA, acting as criticin-residence at 
L. A. State College, working on а novel 
aud a movie (The Masque of the Red 
Death) and several Twilight Zone scripts. 

In The Playboy Philosophy this 
month, Editor-Publisher Hugh M. He 
ner discusses the moral and legal impli- 
cations of obscenity c сз leveled 
хийн him as a result of the now-famous 
Jayne Mansficld feature in our June 
1963 issuc. In. The Playboy Forum, he 
continu s dialog with readers on i: 
sues raised by earlier segments of The 
Playboy Philosophy. 

Add to all this eight pages of un- 
adorned Elsa Martinelli, Larry Siegel's 
hip Fairy Tales for the Jet Set, more of 
Shel Silverstein’s. Teevee Jecbies, your 
cighth annual Playboy Jazz Poll ballot 
and rather extraordinary Playmate, 
pd you have our Octoberfest of enter- 
tainment for men. 


routine. 


vol. 10, no. 10 — october, 1963 


LAYBOY. 


Forecast 


Ева P. 142 


lenny P. 104 


NT YEAGER. YULSMAN P. 150 PHOTO BY PARIS HATCH 


PLAYBOY, сстовєн, 1963, VOL. то мо. de 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL И as 3 
DEAR PLAYBOY 7 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. >=; —] 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 47 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: JAWAHARLAL NEHRU—condid conversation 51 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM 69 


THE PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY: PART 11—edi 
THE GOING PRICE FOR ADORATION—fiction 
UQUEURS—dr 
NO TIME FOR THE BILLIARD BALLET—! 
HOW TO TALK DIRTY AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE—autobiegraphy 


riol HUGH M. HEFNER 81 
BERNARD WOLFE 94 
KEN W. PURDY 98 


n JACK FINNEY TOY 
LENNY BRUCE 104 
FAIRY TALES FOR THE JET SET—sotire LARRY SIEGEL 107 
PLAYBOY'S FALL & WINTER FASHION FORECAST—otlire ROBERT 1. GREEN 109 
GROWING WONDER—playboy's ploymate of the month 118 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor 124 
LAMENT FOR THE HIGH IRON—nostolgia CHARLES BEAUMONT 126 
CLICHE SAFARI—humor PHIL HAHN ond PAUL COKER, JR. 128 
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN—fiction FREDRIC BROWN 133 
THE LITTLE WORLD OF DAVID MERRICK—personality ALVIN TOFFLER 134 
THE 1964 PLAYBOY JAZZ POLL—jorz 136 
SYMBOLIC SEX—humor DON ADDIS 140 
ELSA MARTINELLI—pictoriol _ 142 
THE CALFAYAN COLLECTION—fiction PETER SOURIAN 151 
PERSUASION—ribald classic 153 
GONE WITH THE TEEVEE JEEBIES—sati SHEL SILVERSTEIN 154 
DISNEYLAND FOR ADULTS—pictoriat 157 

180 
PATRICK CHASE 240 


ON THE SCENE— persencli 
PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK—travel 


иии м. HEINER editor and publisher 
А. с. sPECTORSKY associate publisher and editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL ari director 


JACK J. RESSIE managing editor VINCENT у. TAJIRI picture editor 


FRANK DE BLOIS, [REMY BOLE, MURRAY FSR, NAL LEHRMAN, TOM LON SES, SHELDON 
WAN associate editors; KOWKT 1. GREEN fashion director: ovi тлу OR associate fash 
ion editor: тиом vs MARIO food & drink editar; eATRWK enasi Davel editar: 4- А 
айлу consulting editor, business — finance: ARLES BEAD MONT. RICHARD: MAN. 
PAUL. RASER. KEN W. леру contributing editors: халх AMBER Copy editor: KAY 
wit ws asistani editor: WHY CHAMIERLAIN asociate picture editor: WINNIE MOVIK 
assistant picture edilar: WON BRONSTEIN, MARIO суунда. POMPEO POSAR. JERRY VES 
MAY staff photographers; FRANK VC. STAN MALINOWSKI contributing photographers: 
кигь eraser model” stylist: wim AUSHIN associate art director: KON WA ME, JOSEP 
PACK assistant ari directs: эму KRADENVEHL arl asistani: JOWN MAST 
production manager: куму neneva. assistant. production manager = own W 
гири adverlising director; paas KASE custern advertising manager: Jos 
FALL midwestern advertising manager: poseren cervix Detroit advertising 
: махох FUEL promotion director: VAX czunak promotion art director; 
иги мит toksen publicity manager: WENNY шоху public relations manager: 
ANSON MOUNT college burcan: WWO HRENERIEK Personnel director: JANET MURIM 
reader service: WALITR nowak subscription fulfillment manager; ELON 
SELLERS special projects, ковект гикїзз business manager & circulation director 


spot them 
аге. (Ask any guy who sit- -fires e corduroy: 
coal ШОШ) on great 3 
la 


At stores th: 


planning on fanning a new flame?...wear hi 


llie Turner. Malt 
1 


14 Scotsmen and what they do 
to make Ballantine's Scotch 


The 14 Scotsmen you sce above make a rare Highland 
Whisky at a Ballantine's distillery at Elgin, Scotland, 
hard by the North Sea. This whisky is just one of 
the 42 high-grade Scotch Whiskies that are har- 
monized to make Ballantine’s sunny-light flavor. 
These men possess distilling skills which have been 
handed down from their forefathers. Each per- 
forms his task with the same patience, pride and 
attention to detail that have marked the making of 


Ballantine’s for more than one hundred and thirty years. 
The final result is Scotch Whisky as Scotch Whisky 
В should be: never brash or heavy—nor so limply 
light that it merely teases the taste buds. The final 
result is Scotch Whisky always good-natured and 
sociably gentle, flaunting its authentic flavor and 
quality to all those who enjoy its company. Just a 
few reasons why: The more you know about 
Scotch the more you like Ballantine’s. 


DR 


g 


БОТИ IK SCOTLAND = BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY = B6 PROOF ~ IMPORTED 8Y " 2" Brands, Yuc., nY. c. 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


ADDRESS PLAYBOY MAGAZINE + 232 E. OHIO ST., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


HURRAY FOR HARRY 

Jules Feitfers. Hany, the Rat with 
Women |vrAvsov, June and July 1963] 
painted the most caustic portrait I have 
seen in recent years of the castrating le- 
male. Feiffer’s little clutch of fashionable 
harpies гезе arie айар! 
tion of the G 


Summerficld 
Los Angeles. Califor 


ia 


I have enjoyed Мт. Feiller's work for 
many years. His cartoons are excellent but 
Harry, the Rat with Women was superb. 

Linda Копар 
Sacramento, California 


SEEWORTHY 

We ате used to seeing things of spec- 
ticular and breathtaking beauty in the 
pages of your publication, but the July 
sue, in the opinion of at least this ob- 
server, hit what must be some kind of 
record high. 

I refer, of course, to the delightful 12- 
page section dealing with Small Boats 
for Fun Afloat. The art was the best I've 
seen in 19 years with Бола 
tions: the advice to the beginning boat 
enthusiast was some of the soundest ever 
printed 

Guy W, Hughes, Executive Director 
Outboard Boating Club of America 
Chicago, Illinois 


associi- 


BEN-IFICENCE 

Ben Hechr's Letitia, the best story I've 
read recently, brought home the fact that 
storytelling as an art is not dead. Hecht 
isa master and his method is inimitable, 
and 1 whether or not one de 
velops а taste for such writers (1 began 
to read Несін short tales while living in 


wonder 


Chicago during the 19205). But compar- 
ing him to others, even in your own 
roster, makes his method stand out. as he 


gets his effects so ellortlessly. And, with 
the present background of knowledge 
from past contacts (Margaret Ander- 
son, Sherwood Anderson, Maxwell Bod- 
enheim, etc). whatever he writes is very 
important, І hope to read more of his 
memoirs here— but in reading, se 

time ago, his autobiography, it didn't 
seem to me quite as mature as did this 


story you published in July's Lay 
John G. Moore 
Pasadena. California 


1 nominate Ben Hedw (Letitia, 
PLaynoy, July 1963) as literature’s most 
affable name-chopper. His memoirs are 
lv bursting with the names of the 
us and. near greats, but 1 never take 
Ollense since mister-recollector Hecht 
employs them so delightfully i nar- 
rative. 


James Moroni 
Chicago, Hlinois 


RABBITUES 
Please accept our expression of hearty 
approval for the colorful photos of your 
cotton-tailed Fairer sex in the July issue 
of riaynoy. But figuratively something 
ss with your misses, Your Play 
tics on the composite Playboy 
feet, inches and. years 
to the 


пу dm tons, 


intigued my nd me 
point of getting ош the old slide rule to 
take an average of your figures. By our 


calculations, the Average Bunny measures: 


roommate 


up as follows: A; 7 years: height — 
5.7": bust — 36.07: waist — 22.1": hips 
— 35.4: weight — 137.8 Ibs. Either some- 


body goofed the figures or your. Bunnies 
had best pay an carly visit to Vic Tanny's 
to shed some of that excess avoirdupois. 
ıı. К. Rollman 
о, Шок 
Somebody did indeed goof the figures, 
but not at this end, gentlemen. Better 
check your old slide vule onc more time: 
the Bunnies average weight is 164 Ibs, 


I received my copy of the July ri noy 
today. and until T reached the story shout 
the Bunnies E thought it a good, if not 
outstanding issue, D got as 
Sharon Rogers and cou 
Test of rhe m 
climax. 


lers have 


more, 
more of Miss Rogers; a special edition 


Please, more, 


devoted entirely to her would be great 
but in any ease. please give us more pic 
tures and information on her 
Joc Foster 
Albuquerque, New Mexico 
Check nest month's cover, Joe: you'll 
be pleasantly surprised. 


PLAYBOY, остон. 1963, VOL 
3030; BRANCH OFFICES) CHICAGO, PLAYBOY Bu! 


E. STEPHENS, MANAGEN: SOUTHEASTERN REPRESENTATIVE, PIRKIE э BROWN, 3108 PIEONONT aD 


MY SIN 


...a most 
provocative perfume! 


LANVIN 
the lal pe ve Qi fas tz ofl 


Purse size $3; Spray Mist $5; 
Toilet Water from $3; (plus tax) 


PLAYBOY 


Its the 
bees knees! 


Back 


was 


n the 20's, that remark 
datory expression that 
might be paraphrased in the 
vernacular of the 60% as — the 
most! These two modes of ex 


the cognoscenti and connois- 
seurs of both eras. Today—as 
in bygone days—everybody's 
buzzing about that bonanza of 


' the The Stinger. 

' TheStinger: \% oz. brandy, 
Н 1% oz. Cointreau White 
H Creme de 
Н Menthe. Shake 
1 with eracked ice 


and strain into 
cocktail glass 

The Stinger is 
ту popular, pal- 


Side Car or the White Lady. 
For other fascinating food and 
drink recipes for entertain 
the modern way, write for your 
free copy of “Gourmet’sGuide” 
to Dept.64 

Coi 


treau Ltd.,Pennington,N.] 


Re the chocolate Bunnies, I believe you 
said there were 25 of same. Question: 
How many chocolate keys do you hand 


out 1 am white. 


Keith Nordstre 
Santa. Cruz, Californi 

We couldn't tell you. Keith. The 
Playboy Club's membership application 
asks nothing about 


As a wife who enjoy ı her hu 
id's AYBOY, 1 must that P was 


hted to sec the picture story on the 


del 
Bunnies. On a recent visit to the N 


Orleans Playboy Club. our cocktail 
Bunny was c and gracious, as well 
tol v 


ad memorable. Any house- 
ires the. Playboy Bunnies 


visit exciting 
wife who cen: 
must be jealo 


1 have been wondering if your Playboy 
Bunnies are under the Security 
program, I observe that they do not have 
much coverage. 


Peter J. Benson 
Memphis, Tennessee 


PLAYBOY AT SEA 
The aircraft carrier USS. Wasp is 
presently cruising the Caribbean with 
the famous Playboy "Bunny" Flag flying 
from the (see photo) The flag 
idnaped" from the New Orle: 
Playboy Club during a visit to that city 
ow June 13. by the Wasps Marine 
Detachment 
Fly 
iral Riera 


mast 


was 7 


ant of Rear Ad. 
ттт Divi 
ny” flag has boosted 

permanent part ol 
crew of the 


sion 14, the “Bu 
morale 


and is now 


for ransom and 
ull fledged 


Wasp is holding the fl 
will only surrender 


Playboy Bunny.” проп the Wasp's 
rival in her home port of Boston, 
Massachusetts. 


Wasp Photographic Lab 
USS, Wasp 
FPO, New York, New York 
4 Playboy Bunny will be in Boston to 
greet the crew of the Wasp and ret 
our. Playboy flag. 


SONRISE 
1 was just thumbing through the July 
issue when I happened to see Herbert 
Goldberg's delightful. cartoon, “That's 
my son. the Painter.” (Lucky for you 1 
thumb magazines from back to front; had 
I been thumbing the other way 1 doubt 
if Td have gouen past the feature on 
Bunnies.) 
thought you 


ight be interested to 
know how pread the "My So 
thing has gouen: First of all, it has obvi- 
ously taken hold among non-Jewish moth 
crs such as the опе in Mr. Goldberg's 
cartoon. If she were Jewish she would 
call him "Mv son, the P ner.” A Brit 
ish film opened last week in an- 
cisco called, My Son, the Vampire. The 
Village Voice published a cartoon depict 
ing die Virgin Mary and the Christ child 
over the caption "My Son. the Savior. 
Time magazine had an item about Rose 


Kennedy under the heading “My Son, 
the 
page ad in 


“EE AL Airlines took a full- 
The New York Times called 


the Pilot.” 1 have recently 
famous. choreographer’s 
mother is writing a book called "My Son, 


the Daughter.” 

Whether all of this represents some 
kind of strange return to Momism I leave 
to Mr. Hefner, the Philosoph to de- 
termine. At any vate, D have now thumbed 
ny way toward the front of your maga 
© and my thumb has come to rest on 
onc of your Bunnies. 

Which reminds me to remind you that 
in my new album, My Son, the Nut, one 
of the songs begins: 


Though you once 

Were the best 

Bunny at The Playboy Club. 

You're getting to be a rabbit with me. 


Mlan Sherman 
Los Ar California 
Since writing, we trust you've also dug 
our "My Son. the Ostrich Egg" cartoon 
by Merz in the Sepiember issue. 


PLAYBOY IN RUSSIA 

While reading a recent issue (Febru 
1963) of the Soviet humor magazine 
Crocodile, which is published in the So- 
viet Union by official newspaper 
Pravda, | came across an article which I 
am sure you will find of interest. The 
attitude of the Soviet press toward 
riavnoy, while obviously meant to be 
atirically biting, is particularly interest 
in view of their normally strait 
laced position concerning апу 
American. I am enclosing a copy of the 

inal article. printed iu. Russ 
my English uanslation: 


STS UNDER THE WATER 
Инсадо Millionaire Receives 


Guests in an 


the 


ОЛ 


cago. The imagination of Mr. 
Hugh Hefner is indeed inexhaustible. 


ENJOY THE WORLD'S GREATEST ARTISTS 
IN HIS MASTER'S NEW VOICE...DYNAGROOVE 


ANN-MARGRET 
CHET ATKINS 
BOSTON POPS 
BOSTON SYMPHONY 
FRANKIE CARLE 
PERRY COMO 
SAM COOKE 
FLOYD CRAMER 
ARTHUR FIEDLER 
MARTY GOLD 
AL HIRT 
HUGO & LUIGI CHORUS 
KITTY KALLEN 
ERICH LEINSDORF 
THE LIMELITERS 
PETER NERO 
ODETTA 
LEONARD PENNARIO 
LEONTYNE PRICE 
DELLA REESE 
ARTUR RUBINSTEIN 
THE THREE SUNS 
WILLIAM WARFIELD 
JOE WILLIAMS 


RCA VICTOR RECORDS 


Vour favorite artists 

are here in DYNAGROOVE, 
today's new standard 

in recorded sound! 


Pop artists! Red Seal artists! Brand new albums all 
recorded in DYNAGROOVE-the exclusive new recording 
system developed by RCA Victor and hailed by the critics! 
Dealers everywhere are featuring these exciting albums. 
Treat yourself to this wonderful new entertainment today! 


RCA VICTOR 


бате most trusted namein sound 


RED E SHICRLIGHTER” DYNAGROOVE. 
ALBUM 


The Dynagroove “Highlighter” albums 
feature selections trom many great 
new Dynagroove albums. They are a de. 
hghtful way to sample RCA Victor's new 
Dynagroove recording system which 
provides a spectacular improvement in 
sound quality. You will hear: 1, True 
brilliance and clarity—2. Realistic pres- 
ence — 3, No inner-groove distortion. 
4. Full-bodied tone — even when you 
listen with the volume at low level! 


THE SONGS I LOVE j; 


FERRY COMO | 


GREAT SCENES FROM 

GERSHWIN'S PORGY AND BESS 2: 

LEONTYNE PRICE - WILLIAM WARFIELD 
McHenry Boatwright - Stitch Henderson 


1 PERRY COMO. TV favorites! Among 
them, “Days of Wine & Roses,” "Car 
nival,” "My Coloring Book" and others. 

2 PRICE/WARFIELD. Both artists became 
famous in this work. They're even great. 
er today on а newly recorded album! 


THE LIMELITERS = 
Fi rp SONGS | 


‘TCHAIKOVSKY CONCERTO No. 1 Е 


ARTUR RUBINSTEIN 
BOSTON SYMPHONY 
ERICH LEINSDORF 


3 THE LIMELITERS, Today's top trio 
shines new light on "The Midnight Spe 
cial" "John Riley.” A 14K treasury! 

4 RUBINSTEIN/LEINSDORF. Together for 
the first time! Rubinstein's first record- 
ing of the beloved concerto in stereo. 


5 ODETTA. A lovely, lyrical voice strolls 
through a folk field of “Shenandoah.” 
"900 Miles,” “Blowing in the Wind.” 

6 AL HIRT. Complete with choral backing, 
renditions of “I Can't Get Started.” 
“Man with a Horn," “I'm Moving On." 


PETER NERO % ae 
IN PERSON PA! 


T 


FRANKIE FLOYD 
CARLE CRAMER 


THE THREE SUNS 
40 Top Tunes for Dancing 


7 PETER NERO. First live-concert record- 
ing of Nero's genius with small combo. 
Features a "West Side Story" medley. 


В JOE WILLIAMS. ith a great group of 
major jazz musicians, Joe swings "A 
Good Thing,” "Sounds of the Night." 


9 CARLE/CRAMER/NERO. A тесі 
keyboard kings. Each rules hi 
with 4 bright, newly recorded selections. 

10 THE THREE SUNS. A real entertainment 
value for dance fans! 40 tunes played 
in wonderfully danceable medley form. 


CONCERT IN THE PARK © 


BOSTON POPS FIEDLER бур 


he 
HUGO & LUIGI CHORUS . 
` LET'S FALL IN LOVE 5 


11 FIEDLER/BOSTON POPS. Features 
"Austrian Peasant Dances," “Victor 
Herbert Favorites," and a "Song Fest.” 

12 CHET ATKINS. Strumming into teen 
territory like а whirlwind, Chet does 

'Rumpus," “Walk Rightin,” "AlleyCat."" 
13 HUGO & LUIGI CHORUS. A flowing 
mantic love songs. “Melody 

et Me Call You Sweetheart.” 

14 DELLA REESE. Every favorite melody is 
tempoed in waltz time. For example, 
“Fly Me to the Moon" and “Always.” 


A 
S creat miss 


UNDS 
UNLIMITED | 


MARTY GOLD 


епа His Orchestr. 


15 ANN- MARGRET / KALLEN / REESE. This 
three's a crowd of top vocal variety. 
Each lady sings 4, all newly recorded. 


16 PENNARIO/FIEDLER. A perfect pairing 
for the melodic and popular rhapsody. 
Pennario's debut on RCA Victor records. 


17 SAM COOKE. Soul" sings with 
small combo. Red Rooster 


“Mean Old World,” ''1 Lost Everythi 


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ny years he has brought jov to 
n men with "Playboy magazine 
of which he is the. publisher. The old 
problem of sex is treated freshly and orig- 
lv in the mag; 

v. Hugh Hefner has opened a 
° night clubs in cities 


cied attention. wi 
He received 
pool filled 
МЇ of the guests are 
ming suits, masks, fins and 


“Et is true that those presen 
able to talk to cach othe 
ly bother anyou 
Bill Webb 
Glen Burnie, Mary 
FLAYBOY apparently enjoys а consid- 
erable underground popularity behind 
the bon Curtains When U.S. airmen 
stationed in the arctic were planning a 
visit to a nearby Soviet base recently, 
they asked an intermediary what items 
of exchange or barter they ought to bring 
along to swap with the Russians for So- 
viel souvenirs. The reply: Back copies 
of PLAYBOY. 


CLAY PIGEON 

Reading about Cassius Clay in July's 
On the Scene, 1 was reminded of these 
lines from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar: 


There is no terror, Cassius, in your 
threats: 

For I am arm'd so stro 

That they pass by me 
wind, 

Which I respect not. 


in honesty 
as the idle 


1 can almost hear Sonny Liston saying 
them now. 
Hilary Boon 
Miami, Florida 
Or. from the same play: “Forever, and 


forever, farewell, Cassius?” 
‘THE OBSCENE JAYNE MANSFIELD 


Your June PLAYBOY was one of the best 
edited, handsomest, most entertaini 


& never 
ze me) to Hugh Hefuer's 
thoughtful, compelling editorial state- 
ment ou censorship in The Playboy 
Philosophy: {тот the part of the 
latest James Bond adventure by lan 
Fleming to the first installment of Jules 
Feitler rhable frst novel, Hury, 
the Rat with Women; from the discern- 
ing essay оп folk music by Nat Hentolf 
to the nostalgic piece on Holidays — 
gone, but not forgotten, by Charles 
Beaumont; from the fiction by Ray 

bury, satire by Shepherd Mead and 
service features on food and drink by 


All you need to play winning "footsies" 


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Thomas Ma e fashion by 
Robert L. Green to the high humor of 
the best cartoons published in any mag- 
ne in America toda ad Shel Silver- 
stcin's priceless Teevee Jeebies: from the 
lissome, sensitive beauty of Play 
Connie Mason (who gets my vote 
“Playmate of the Year") 10 the pictor 
reportage on the moviemaking escapades 
of full-blown Jayne Mansfield. for the 
men who like their women with more 
meat on their bones. 

But now — if I 


m to believe the quite 
ncredible news that appears in the daily 
press — someone, somehow, has decided 
that the June issue of ervnov is obscene 
1 108. pages of it (since the Supre 
Court has made clear in its decisions on 
obscenity that a work must be judged as 
a whole, not piecemeal) — and especia 
nd specifically, those | 
Mansfield. (apparently we are now to be 
required to appreciate only the thinner, 
less wellendowed specimens of fem 
beauty). 

Has the world taken leave of its senses? 
I the June issue—or any issuc— of 
PLAYBOY is obscene then D am à double- 
dyed purple. people-cater from Pluto. 
James Kenneth 
New York, New York 


i 


tures of ] 


т shocked to read of Hugh Hefner's 
arrest on charges of "publishing and cir- 
culating an obscene magazine." In. any 
rational court, vou should need no de- 
Tense beyond your own excellent article 
on obscenity and censorship. But if my 
own reputation as а critic and a scholar 
(and an admirer of PLaynoy) сап be of 
any use to proceedings, 
please do not hesitate to call on m 

Anthony Boucher 
Berkeley, Califor 


vou in these 


You rouen moron, the law is finally 


catching up with you, Your type belongs 
beh You are lower than the 
Madison Avenue scum. Hang your head 


in shame — you and your crackpot 
Bunnies. Who else but a crackpot would 
race themselves working for a moron 
It's your type that gives Chicago 
the bad reputation it has. 
(Unsigned) 
Chicago, Hlinois 


Just heard about the arrest of Hugh 
for publishing ап obscene 
¢. Never laughed so much in 


dress this letter to the City Jail in С 
o or to Moscow. Т agre that the 
es Of Miss Mansfield were revealing 
and, I might add, quite enjoyable, but if 
this makes the best men's magazine in 
America obscene then what about all 
those magazines that fill their pages with 
nothing whatever except photographs of 
nude women and what about the so- 


now 


called nudist magazines that are 
legally allowed to print pictures of both 
men and women completely naked and 
unretouchcd: 

LAYBOY so far surpasses all of these 
publications. in every respect, that the 
charge of obscenity would be a joke if 
this attempt at censorship did not have 
its more serious implications. If. Hefner 
is convicted, we might as well give up 
any pretense of there being any free 
press in America 

John Johnson 
San Fernando Valle 
Northridge, Califor 


itc College 


rrest of PLAYBOY 
publisher and editor Hugh M. Hefner 
as а result of his pictorial layout of the 
beautiful Jayne Mansfield. in the June 
issue of PLAYRoy. We of the Ist Missile 
Bat huh Artillery feel that а 
great injustice has been done to a man 
who docs so much for the morale of 
servicemen the world over. We protest 


ıı of the 3 


his arrest and praise his June issue. Asa 
result of her appearance in PLAYROY, th 
men of this battalion have selected 


Jayne Mansfield as of the 
dh. 
(Signed by SP/4 Arthur Ducero and. 
34 other members of the Ist Missile 
Battalion, 39th Artillery) 


APO, New York, New York 


Miss Miss 


Conzratula You 1; 


ions. 


Miss Mansfield with what she considers a 


son" for her nudity. have provided 
ntold hundreds of thousands of dol 
worth of publicity for her movie 
will undoubtedly sell several hundred 
thousind more copies of your ma 


If popularity and acceptance must 
come from the public display of one’s 
ме appendages (and she is most 
amply provided for) I shall remain 
anonymous forevei 


man’s fancy with your pictures, but I 
wonder if men 


pt not be just а little 
humiliated or ashamed if women were to 
take an equally тегез in cer 
п comparable aspects of the male 
anatomy. 1 wonder how loud and long 
the protests would be heard if you pro- 
vided a layout of a similar type on, ау, 
Cary Grant. That, | suppose. would be 
consid 


pi 


ed lewd 


while for the men. 
Miss Mansfield is "art for art's sake. 
Aud thus we have another example of 


the centuries-old 
think your 


“double standard,” 1 
art" was a litle overdone. 
Marilyn. Marrs 

El Monte, California 


Enclosed is а copy of a note I'm m 
g today to Time [who reported the 


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PLAYBOY 


It's easy to tell genuine Roquefort when you 


taste it. The sheeps milk makes it tangier. 


Richer. Creamier. And its easy to tell genuine 
Roquefort when you order or serve it. Its the 


one with the red sheep seal on the wrapper. 


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Genuine Roquetort cheese makes the very tastiest salad dressing — whether you buy the 
dressing ready-made or prepare it yourself. Genuine Roquefort is served in all fine restaurants. 
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IF you've any kind of 

a head on your shoulders, 
you'll put it under a 
Hush Puppies hat. 


We hear that leather hats are it these days. We're glad because Hush Puppies 
hats happen to be made of leather. Breathin" brushed pigskin, as a matter of fact. 
They're for people who've tried Hush Puppies casual shoes and wouldn't give any 
other casuals closet space. There are four models, in six colors. Any one of them Ü 
is everything a hat should be—debonair, water-repellent, utterly simple to clean 


(got a brush?) and so long-wearing Hush Puppi A р 


that it may well outlast your head. 
Copyright 1963 Wolverine Shoe & Tanning Corp. Rockford, Mich. EREATHIN' BRUSHEO PIGSKIN* ONLY BY WOLVERINE gan! 


arrest in their issue of June 21, 1903): 
5и: 

Can't understand why the Ch 
cago vice squad sot so "nervous" 
over the recent Jayne Mansfield 
exposure jm PLAYBOY. lt was 100- 
percent pure stimulation for hetero- 
sexuals and the only people who 
should have been upset are those 
who objected to being jarred out of 
their pitiful aberration 

I found the picture of the "man 
on the bed too" thoroughly arousi 
and it cheered me and contributed 
to my mental health. 


Please continue your excellent work. 1 
especially enjoyed this month's Philos- 
ophy and was also pleased to read the 
quotation from my unde Joseph Flet- 
chers book. I always felt, however, that 
he tended to be a little more caut 
than was really necessary. 
ol E. Edwards 

Fort Lauderdale, Florida 


In the past I have lauded Mr. Hefner's 
stand on many subjects, and I think the 
present situation is a disgraceful viola- 
tion of a basic right granted by our 
Constitution — coupled with the fact 
that the whole charge is ridiculous! As 
а woman, wife, and the mother of four 
mpressionable" children (who also like 
aynoy), I support Hugh Hefner and 
wish to encourage him to stick to his 
stand. 


Mrs. Joy Vrdoljak 
Westmont, Illinois 


One wonders if all those people who 
took such a sudden interest in the June 
PLAYBOY also took the time to read your 
very thoughtful and probing editorial in 
the same issue on censorship. obscenity, 
etc. As your editorial points out, the 
best thing that cin happen to any pub- 
lisher is to have someone try to ban or 
suppress his book or magazine — it pro- 
duces a sellout! 

James W. Alford. Attorney at Law 
Columbia, South 

The June issue of vLaywoy predictably 
did precisely that, selling over 2,000,000 
copies; in New York copies were boot- 
legged for $5 and S10 apiece. 


Carolina 


1 noted with some interest the re- 
cent reports relati 
obscenity charges in Chicago. My interest 
stems from the Tact that I have chaired 
the Committee on Civil Liberties of the 
ional Institute of Municipal Law 
Officers since 1961. In this capacity 1 
have dealt with the peregrinations of the 
obscenity laws throughout the country 
during this period. As you well know 
evidenced by Mr. Hefners recent 
thoughtful editorials upon the subject 
the general trend of the law has been in 
the direction of а more reason 


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sane posture, This was most recently cvi- 
denced by Dicta in the Supreme Court 
Enterprises vs. Day. 
indicated. that. only 
hard-core. pornography is properly 
tionable under obscenity laws. 

In summary, I feel that the Manshicld 
story — which I understand is the subject 
of your litigation — could not possibly 
be the reasoned subject of obscenity 
prosecution, The current status of the law 
and current community standards (viz, 
the heavy mailing volume of unretouched 
sun-bathing publications) effectively mili 
tates against an adverse decision respect 
ing the Jayne Mansfeld story. 

If 1 can be of any assistance in your 
present litigation by reason of my civil- 
liberties work, | would be happy to do 
so. 1 might add. nthetically. that I 
have been a subscriber since 1958 and 
thoroughly commend you on the over-all 
tone of the m 

Keith Wilson 

Kansas City, Missouri 
Everything is apparently even more up 
to dale in Kansas City than the title of 
that famous song suggests. We envy Kan- 
| sas City its enlightened City Counselor; 
A GENTLEMAN'S if we were as fortunate. in Chicago, the 
Jayne Mansfield incident would have 


COLOGNE been impossible. 


1 THINK THAT YOU CAN WIN A SUIT FOR 
FALSE ARREST. YOU OWE IT TO ALL Ti 
PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES TO PUT 
THOSE PRUDES IN THEIR PLACE ONCE AND 
FOR ALL. IF YOU CAN WIN A LARGE JUDG- 
MENT S CASE IT SHOULD MAKE THE 
PRUDES IN OTHER CITIES THINK TWICE BE- 
FORE THEY TRY SUPPRESS Ib 
ТИЕ PRUDES DO NOT WANT PLAYBOY TH 
DO NOT HAVE To BUY IT. AS FOR ME 1 
PREFER TO DECIDE FOR MYSELF WHAT 
15 OBSCENE AND WHAT 15 NOT. I AM SUI 
THAT THE MAJORITY OF THE CITIZENS 
LOS ANGELES AND THE UNITED STATES ARE 
BEHIND YOU 100 PERCENT. 

ROBERT Р. COLE 

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 


wher 


7а 


PLAYBOY 


y Counselor 


I am convinced after reading the June 
i issue of PLAYBOY that the court action 
Í against you was brought on — not by the 
$ photographs of Jayne Mansfield — but by 
your fearless editorials in The Playboy 
Philosophy. Fight them all the way — the 
- س ت‎ 5 fight is not only for your magazine, but 
ароми for the basic principles expressed i 
4 fl. oz. 500 16 fl. oz. 13.50 ` Amer Constitution and the ri 
all free men everywhere. 

M.F. owe 
Arvada, Colorado 
Editor-Publisher Hugh M. Hejner de- 


voles this month's “Playboy Philosophy" 
to the Jayne Mansfield abscenity charges; 
B for a further discussion of censorship in 
the U.S., see “The Playboy Forum” in 
this issue. 
22 Ej 


i962 CHANEL INC 1W бтн STREET NY. PACES PLUS TA‘ 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


Isewhere in this issue, rrAYmoY read- 

ers will find. thc 
of Lenny Bruce's autobiography. How Го 
Talk Dirty and Influence People, а title 
which permits us to segue to the fact that 
rravwOY itself has donc no litle influ- 
w of people over the years, Our 
t leadership ploy was the pioncer- 
ing in print of the by-now-renowned 
Tom Swiltics (rtAv nov, February 1963). 
PLAYBOY has not темей on its Swifti 
laurels. We've been busy — refining, pol- 
ishing, supplementing — until at last we 
think we've carried Tom Swift and His 
Jet-Propelled Adverbs to a new dimen- 
sion of unabashed urbanity. To touch 
olf what we predict will be a New Wave 
of Tomfoolery, we offer the following 
Swift switch, which christened 
Tom Dirtics sure look good in 
that sweater Tom pointedly; 
“We'll park here for a while and just 
look at the moon." said Tom feel 
“I love those mirrors on the ce 
said Tom reflectively: "This is the last 
time TII ever spend the night with a 


initial installment 


we've 


nymphomaniac,” said Tom limply: "I've 
developed a strange attachment to my 
trombone,” said "Tom hornily: "Pm 


afraid the contraceptive was defective,” 
said Tom paternally: “You have un- 
plumbed depths,” said "Tom shortly; "I 
made it with a girls’ baseball team last 
night," said Tom asininely: “It certainly 
messes up a fellow’ sex life being out 
here on the farm without women." said 
Tom sheepishly; "There's something T 


should have told you before we went to 
bed," said Tom infectiously; “There's 
more than one way of making love,” said 


We were made for cach 
Tom Вау; “You know 1 
would never virgin,” 
said Tom penet "Well, it’s time 
we changed the bed linen, anyway, 
‘Tom aimlessly; “I learned а lot durin 


Tom dogged 
other,” said 


my visit to Paris,” said Tom indifferently 
“And that's why I Gul it my six-shooter,” 
said Tom repeatedly: “I'm not. particu- 
larly interested in bosoms.” said Tom 
cannily: "Thats the last time 1 ever go 
to а brothel.” said Tom crabbily: "You 
used that excuse last month." said Tom 
periodically: "It isn't easy making love 
in a canoe,” said Tom tipsily: ^L al- 
ways feel like going to slecp afterward," 
id Tom piecefully; “I don't think I 
n make it again," said Tom softl 
Try Tom Dirtics yourself,” 
PLAvnoy conclusively. 


says 


Ac the crest of the nationwide wave 
of patriotic wd by 
President Kennedy, Chicago's Carriage 
House hotel proposed a contribution to 
the cause which merits an E for Elegance. 
The w 


504nile hikes instig 


ement offered a canteen of 
cold martinis and а pack of rations in- 
cluding caviar, pûlê de [oie gras and three 
croissants to any guest willing to under- 
take an 8004ар trot around the rooftop 
swimming pool — with the bonus offer of 
a [rec ride to the hospital in the hotel's 
Rolls Royce for the first guest to complete 
the wip. As of presstime, they have yet to 
find a taker. 


Good news for those in search of 
atisfied Love: You'll find it on page 
1415 of the Manhattan Telephone Direc- 
tory at 103 West 117th Street, YU 


5-0755. 


This month's Creative Merchandising 
es to the Washington, D.C.. de 
partment store which has innovated the 
practice of enclosing an amusing riddle 
on a primed crd inside the plastic en- 
velope of every LP sold by its record 
department: “This record is brandnew 
and scaled for your protection. In the 
event the record has a factory defect, you 


may make a new selection. within five 
days. Records returned for exchange not 
in original scaled envelopes will not be 
accepted.” 

Nobody's Рейса Department: We 
learned in a feature story on the enter- 
tainment page of the Asbury Park, New 
Jersey. Press that Elvis Presley "doesn't 
drink, smoke or swear, rarely goes to 
night clubs or restaurants, has practically 
no hobbies, docsn't insult people, docsn't 
set arrested, doesn't get into fights or 
other public trouble, 
inclination whatever to mix with movie 
people (except, occasionally to date the 
leading lay of his current movie." 


nd shows no 


reply to those 
critics who [eel that American higher 
education fails to prepare the younger 
eneration adequately for the challenge 
and responsibility of world leadership, 
The Realist recently published the im- 
pressive results of a quiz given to a 
representative 400 collegians from the 
universities in New York's metropolitan 
area, A mere one percent of those tested, 
it revealed, were unable to name the 
President and Vice-President. A respect- 
able 5.1 percent correctly identified the 
Secretary of Health, Education and Wel 
e, and a heartening 17 percent knew 
the name of the Secretary of Defense. 
Ошу а few believed that John Foster 
Dulles was still Secretary of State; and 
the number of those who identified 
Nehru as Prime Minister of Israel, Faubus 
sa rock-n-roll singer, and Castro аз the 
capital of Cuba, was virtually negligible. 
But the students’ awareness of current 
events was perhaps best exemplified by 
the fact that 95 percent were able to 
name the brand of cigarette that * 
good, like a cigarette should.” 


PLAYBOY 


24 


Your 
Alligator 
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On our latest survey of the nation's 
movie marquees, we spotted a pair of 
aptly matched double bills: The Honey- 
moon Machine and Two Rode Together, 
The Premature Burial and Twist All 


laying at a Palo Alto, 
in: Splendor in the Grass, Fanny 
Please Turn Over. But we're still look 
vainly for such ideal double exposure: 
Creature from the Black Lagoon and 
Don't Go Near the Water, Love Comes to 
Andy Hardy and Adventures in Pygmy 
Land, Adam's Rib and All About Eve. 
Camille and Calling Dr. Kildare, and 
Lawrence oj Arabia and Beloved Infidel 

The director of a Jacksonville, Flor- 
ida, art museum was more flattered u 
fleeced by a gentleman thief who broke 
into the museum not long ago. The 
Associated Press reports that he stole 
nothing but a look at the objets d'art — 
and left behind a note 1 "Breaker 
and Enterer" with the ing com- 
ment, “I found the exhibits excellent 
and stimula 


pplaud the candor of the distaff 
who observed at a recent Minne- 
Ws club luncheon that 
ЕТИ a Ed 
a woman." 


to succeed 
landers, we 
n's Amal- 


jady most 


s the your 
in selling furn 
nominate the teller at Manha 


when a gres 
to her window and d 
"We havent got any 
turned, and walked out. 


sidled up 
aded money: 
" He shrugged. 


In ringing rejoinder to faculty claims 
that the student body devotes morc 
thought to pigskins than to shcepskins. 
a group of crudite Ivy L s has 
armed itself wit the following battery of 
merid- 


gu 


ian, fellows! 
velocity of our 
the oblate sphe 


i franchise 
Affray tenaciously! 
ıs debasement! In. 


In Milwaukce, a book entitled How to 
Stop Pilferage in Business and Industry 
placed in the stacks of the public 
library. In Biloxi, Miss 

bile dealer George Patterson a 
two cars in his lot as “a steal. 


And in 
Pueblo, Colorado, a collection of ques- 


tionnaires to determine the honesty of 


Back to the classics: 
Two modern variations 
of the long wing tip. 


Here are two variations on a classic theme: the long wing tip. On top, we made a bold dress boot out of 
it. The bottom shoe we slimmed here, trimmed there, and suddenly it's contemporary. Both with rugged 
cordotan uppers. Discover Johnsonians. You have nothing to lose, but some extravagant ideas, about how 
much a good pair of shoes should cost. See these, and other gentlemanly Johnsonians at better shoe 
and department stores, or write for name of dealer nearest you. Johnsonian shoes, $8.95 to $12.95. 


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PLAYBOY 


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students at a local junior high school was 
left in a basement locker. You guessed it: 
All the items in question — book, cars and 
questionnaires were subsequently stolen. 


Sign spotted in the window of a 
Tucson, Arizona, drugstore undergoing 
remodeling: “BISMUTH AS USUAL” 

Weve just managed. but barely, to 
fete our way through an exhausting sum 
mer bursting its verdant seams with 
special events. During July, we cut a car 
way-seeded swath through Rye Bread 
Sales Month, chauvinistically applauded 
National Rabbit Week, gullawed our- 
self to а fare-thee well dur National 
Clown Week, and worked the old pitch- 


ing arm into shape during a two-day In- 
ternational Brick and Rolling Pin 
Throwing Festival. In August, we grew 


fat and developed a ringi 
during National Dairy Dan Cone Month 
and the annual Phonola Phun Festival, 
and gave our undivided attention to 
ded thought provokers as 
Home Lighting Fixture 


g in our ears 


such sober 


American 


Month, Home Quiet Month, and Home 


Sweet Home Month. What with 
due deference in September to National 
Popcorn F Day, Your 
Mattress Month, National Tie Week, the 
Mitchell Persimmon Festival 
tional Barefoot Freedom Week, we find 
ourself hardly able to gih 
and concentration required of an Oc 
tober cornucopianally replete with events 
that boggle the imagination. We hope, 
however, to be able industriously to cele- 
brate National Lath & Plaster Week 
keep our appetite sufficiently whetted 
during Biswuit/Mufin Month, and the 
month-long Y:unbilee, eschew all mechan- 
ical means of transportation 
National Save the Horse Week, be mirth- 
fully altruistic during National Pass the 
Laugh Week, and put in proper literary 
perspective Korem Alphabet Day and 
National Letter Writing Week. While we 
also intend to do our bit lor Sweetest Day 
and National Cleaner. Air Week. we 
may have to ional Pretzel 
Week — we'll probably be all tuckered 
out from a prior seven-day stint during 
which we'll have given our all for In- 
ternational Whale Watching Week 


ving 


mers! Measure 


ind 


muster the suci 


durin: 


pass up 


ACTS AND 
ENTERTAINMENTS 


Newest of the improvisational theaters 
is The Committee, atire, 
alcohol, сойсе and food in spanking new 
Arab-blue quarters at Columbus and 
Broadway in San Francisco's jumping 
North Beach. Directed by Alan Myerson 
who previously directed for The Second 
City, The Committee's staff includes 


administerin 


Bobby С amp. ex—folk 
City mummer, the wild voice of the id of 
the group: Garry Goodrow, who is best 
known for his cool and mean Ernic in 
both the st: and film versions of Thy 
Connection — he brings, along with a 
radiantly insane face, а gift for parody 
of the beat poets and the coolest of cats 
Larry Hankin st: 
stands up very tall, 
lecture on the virtues of garbage ("That 
n't garbage, son, that's refuse! Take 
some home to your child'"): Scott Beach 
а former profesor and disc jockey who 
сап do rock'n'roll and oratorio singers 
senators, amd the horrid. hidebound 
square, with equal felicity: Kathryn Ish 
very handsome young lady; and Irene 
Riordan, who uses both bosom and crisp 
wit in a suburban-cocktail-party 
(“Га like vou to meet Mr. Jones, every 
body. He's a Negro."). The group's com. 
bination of literate social and. political 
satire. nily admixed with plain joy in 
downing, has been an immedi 


ger, ex-Second 


wLup comic who 


and excels in а 


scenc 


те success 


in San Francisco. Its weakness thus far 
is that its members have not. worked 
together long enough to find a steady 


level in their improvisations, but if Myer- 
son cracks the whip on them hard enough. 
they threaten to equal Compass and Sec 
ond City at their best. Director Myerson 
a shrewd chap, has also provided. food 
drink, and pretty waitresses to supple- 
ment the satire. There are two shows 
nightly except. Monday. 


The intermationalization. of 
been provocatively dramatized by the 
lissome presence of Ceylon-born Yokinde 
Bavan with Jon Hendricks and Dave 
Lambert. When we caught the act at New 
York's Basin Street East, the 23 
ictrese-pianistsinger performed in a 
iety of flowing saris, using her hands 
to punctuate and underline her musical 
points, Her eyes are remarkably expres 
sive and her supple body is itself 

highly skillful instrument, Although Miss 
Bavan's voice not have either the 
penetrating purity and. power of Annie 
Ross or her. predecessor's daring conh 
dence in the upper register, she has ab 
sorbed the lese idiom extremely 
well, fitting y and accurately 
the complicated pauerus charted by 
Hendricks, Her sense of humor, 
akin to that of her confreres: the 
is a freshening of the 
Lambert, meanwhile 
energetic, il 
well as a diligent 
Hendricks, grown markedly as a sit 
in the past vear 
wider and deeper ra 
before. 


jazz has 


ar-old 


doe 


хос 


imo 


100. is 
result 
wio's interplay 
continues to be an 
ished, soloist as 
section But 
ger 
controls a much 
: of emotion than 
fluently through 


undistiny: 


hand. 


now 


ЛИ three swan 
byrinthine lullabies as wombon 
ist Melba Liston's Melba's Blues, Oscar 
Pettiford’s Swingin’ till the Gils Come 
Home Allen's This Could Be 
the Start of Something. Since Lombert, Hen- 


such 


and Steve 


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organization on the campus enjoys loftier prestige than Career 
Club. It's a shirt collection devised by Truval for young men of 
commendable taste. Who know which fashions have status. Who 
have an eye for a telling detail. But who are unwilling to let their 
sartorial preferences run away with their sense of values. Along 
comes Career Club to the rescue, with freshly ruled stripes and a 
pride of other shirting ideas that are little short of elegant. All 
priced about $4.00 to prove that Truval practices whatit preaches. 
Naturally enough, you will find them only at stores where fash- 
ion and value meet. That, friends, can only mean Truval dealers. 


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decks end Bavan 
sers of othe 
their trio re 
ve jazz unit, but it isa v 
ining act, and th 

added a pungent s 


ly en- 
enlistment of Miss 
soning. 


MOVIES 


Women of the World is the second global 
tour conducted by Gualtiero (Mondo 
Сапе) Jacopetti, in which he covers а lot 
of globes — white, brown and black. He 
has Technicolored some 40 sequences 


bout the ladics, focusing on oddity and 
paradox. In the former group: the 84 


native wives of a wizened old Scotsman 
who is the only male on id off New 
Guinea: the tattooing of Borneo belles: 
the annual meeting of a Singapore floo- 
zies union: Paris dubs for queers and 


10 their hips: 
bidden Street in Hamburg. with the 
iorious women in the windows — for 
those who like their Hamburgers very. 
very well done. Among the contrasts: 
European women in a “painless child- 
birth” clinic— and Maori men compelled 
to simulate labor pains while their wives 


deliver in the next room: а "falsie" fac- 
tory in —and a Malayan 
father playing wet nurse with half a 


t shell. Some of the scc 
obviously staged — the bikinied babe at 
the film festival showing oll her Cannes, 
the police raid on the Hong Kong float 
ing brothels. And some are just jarring 
the stitching of women's cyc- 
lids, Bedouin women daubing themselves 
th camel dung, rich Swiss babes havin; 
their old face skin chemically burned oll 
Peter Ustinov's commentary ties to give 
the film an urbane tone, but it all adds up 
to less sophistication than sens. 

If Warner Brothers had made PT 109 
before anyone had heard of John F. 
у, the film might have been a 
first-rate sea saga, But now. in retrospec 
live renovation, we get a Navy licut 
ant who talks to his stock-company crew 
like a retarded scoutmaster with a small 
passion for chocolate What keeps 
this big Technicolor bomb from blowing 
up completely is that — give or take a val 
ıt deed or (wo — it really happened, 
The story of ЈЕКУ part in the Mar 
rescue at Choiseul and of his bravery in 
saving 10 of his men after the 109 was 
split could have sizzled if they had lelt i 
something of the sassy guy he undoubt 
edly was. But within the plaster mold 
that has been baked around Cliff Robert- 
son there is neither sailor nor saint nor 
even phony movie hero. He's just a blood. 
less bore, which — whatever clse you may 
think — JFK is not. This torpedo boat 
packs a full load of torpor. 


s arc 


ion. 


Even if it's billed with a Grade Z flick, 
we urge you to catch Love Me, Love Me, Love 
Me, а fey and funny British cartoon cur 
rently playing the arthouse circuit 
Produced, directed. and animated by a 
whimsical Englishman named Richard 
Williams, Love Me is а soft-sell spoof of 
moral fables, self-improvement courses 
and even love itself, as it spins out the 
tangled tale of three improbable prota 
onists: Squidgy Bod, an unkempt, bum- 
bling but good-natured bloke beloved by 
gente 
man so unendurably impecea t no 
onc can abide him: and a stuffed all 
tor named Cha whose inanimate 


mbrace Thermos finds clandestine con. 
n. We won't reveal the resolution 


so 
of the tragicomic ti 
love it, love it, love it. 

William Golding's Lord of the Flies was 
а success the second time it was pub- 
lished here, so maybe there's hope for 
second film try — because the first one is 
a fizzle. Peter Brook, who directed and 
presumably wrote the script. (there is no 
script credit), has fumbled the allegory 
and we get ошу teasing hints of terror 
through a tegument of tedium. 
story, photographed in the Caril 
deals with a group of English schoolboys 
stranded by а pl h on a desert 
island. Civilization slips off them like 
their clothes and reveals the avid littl 
animals they always w underneath. 
Brook has brooked no ig" and h 
ended up the creek. In his try for spon 
tancity, he got amateurism instead of 
realism: only the lustiest of the blood 
lust allecting. The music 
telegraphs and tugs, the sound tack is 
obviously studio-recorded. Among the 
many juveniles in the jungle, James Au 
brey (as Ralph) and Hugh Edwards (as 
genuine, but the film is only 
plated. 


gle — but хош 


ec 


is somewha 


с 

All the Way Home doesn't quite get there 
Derived from a double Pulitzer Prize 
winner (Tad Mosel’s dramatization of 
James Agee’s A Death in the Family). it 
loses in its third incarnation. The story 
tells of a 1915 Knoxville family 
year-old boy, his father and his pr 
mother — just before and just alter the 
father is killed in an auto crash. The 
virtue of the original work(s) lay in the 
way they ed nostalgia without 
neuralgia. The drama lay in the way the 
death shocked the mother into а courage 
she didn't know she had. Because the 


а SiN. 


nt 


av 


film captures only a fraction of the fric 
tion between husband and wife, the 
ction of the widow comes 


Director Alex Segal 
pans à mean ca but handles his 
players quite gently. Thus, robust Rob 
ert Preston, the father, gives us more of 
his peppy Music Man. performance. But 
Jem 5 mother 


ста 


is fine as the 


nmons 


‚ „ 
impulsive. 

Suddenly romantic? Here’s an extraordinary potpourri of vocals & la Buddy 
Greco (with Dave Grusin's Enchanted Voices as imaginative accompaniment). 
Suddenly moody? The one and only George Maharis soothes and simmers in 
this exciting collection of Maharis mood-makers. Suddenly frisky? The 
inimitable horn of Bobby Hackett swings through Henry Mancini's unfor- 
gettable tunes. Suddenly carefree? Unique entertainer Max Morath rollicks 
his way through the colorful era of ragtime, in an exhilarating album of 
musical nostalgia. The scene is set, the turntable’s spinning, the impulse 
means pleasure — Greco, Maharis, Hackett, Morath — yours on Epic Records. 
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Michael Kearney, the boy, has a humor- 
ous hobgoblin face that seems to hold 
the whole film together; and Richard 
Sylbert’s sets set the milieu masterfully. 


1t as some critics sai а 
son for casting Dean Martin in the 
central Jason Robards, Jr., role of the 
fre brother, Аз 
his two older sisters moody New 
Wendy Hiller is ra- 
Freud of her 
own shadow. 7 айса 
out of ds by his sisters, now turns 
up married — to Yveue Mimieux — and 
bursting with deal that. will put 
them ister C; 
(Miss Page), subconsciously in love with 
her brother, spins plots to spoil the mar- 
e and the deal. АП ends as unhappily 
as Carrie wanted — except that she is left 
to carry on alone. Lurking in the ori: 
inal play was the hint of some point, but 
nwriter James Poe has whacked the 
an out of it and come up with an 
extremely Poe script, simultaneously hol- 
гу. Gene Tierney makes а 
suitably brief appearance as a lady with 
Bur then under George 
ale direction, all the 
їз except Miss Hiller seem like a 
п of mechanical toys that should 


spendin: 


but it's better news when he 
t. Don't be persuaded to see For 
Love or Money for love or money. It's an- 
edy about a rich rout 
ys in color (the films, that 
audience can revel in the hero's palatial 
pad. He is a San Francisco lawyer; Thel- 
ma Ritter is a zillionaire widow with 
ttractive dau 
ie Parrish, Julie Newmar), for 
of whom she has selected prospective 
husbands. She hires Kirk to become the 
girls’ fi 1 and to groom 
them for their grooms. Two of the 
matches get struck but one of the girls 

ts Douglas. The dialog lives up to the 
unpromise of this plot. Director Michael 
Gordon once made a funny film (Pillow 
Talk); we don't know how, and neither 
does he, evidently, because he hasn't 
been able to repeat, 


The Sound of Trumpets is a brassy title for 
a quiet picture, but far in order 
for its new director. Erm i 
32-year-old Italian, won the C 
at the London Festival and the Critics 
Prize at Venice with this, his first feature, 
which proves that even festival juries 
aren't always wrong, It is a delicate film 
about a very young man who comes to 
M ım for a job with а 
colossal company. He meets a girl who 


also takes the exam. Both a 
separated in the cnom 
buildings. We follow the 
company’s New Year's 
es а feeling of being held in a room- 
size refrigerator: then we sce how it 
senior employee's death moves him from 
his messenger’s desk in the hall to a back- 
of-theoflice desk as junior clerk. That's 
where it finishes: we don’t need to see any 


e hired, but 


has been Hayed in films ever since Clair 


and Chaplin, but Olmi's personal reac 
tion to this rigor vivendi gives great 


hard to forget the murmur of the mimeo- 
graph machine that swells at the end in- 
stead of music. 


Like that of every tue artist. Ingmar 
Bergman's ambition is simple: all he 
wants is the secret ol the universe. Winter 
Light, his latest, is d fili 
that probes to the heart of some questions 
that trouble our time. Four of his 
are featured: Gunnar Björn- 
nd plays а country-clergyman. wid- 


finely fashi 


rid Thulin is a spinster 
her who loves him: Мах vou 
Sydow is a fisherman: Gunnel 
Lindblom is his wife. It all takes place 
on winter Sunday between: matins 
and vespers. The fisherman is deeply 
depressed by the state of the world and 
threat over mankind; his 
wife insists that he speak to the pastor. 
Not only is the pastor unable to help. 
but he his own doubts and 
desp the man leaves, a sear 
ing scene between pastor and teacher 
discloses how she pursues him, how he 
cannot love her, or life News comes 
of the fisherman's suicide. Alfter 
other exchange, terrible in its tuth, be 
tween the unwilling lovers. the film 
ends with the pastor continuing in the 
pulpit, unable to desert w 
him empty forms, The fi 
finally, more literary tha 
The crux — the pastor's crisis is st 
than dr 
stand it but do not actually experi 


ved: we may und. 


it with him. Still, Bergman's broodi 
intelligence and the luminous photo 


lend brill 


phy and actin e to Winter 


Light. 


RECORDINGS 


The Dove Brubeck Quortet at Carnegie Hall 
(Columbia) is à two-LP delight. АП con- 
cerned, throughout the ho 
delineation of a dozen numhei 
have been at the peak of their c 
the 


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an admitted prejudice against c: 
drum solos), the concert held us 
attention with its amazing inventive! 


Bossa nova — indigenous or derivative. 
take your choice— may be found in a 
ed LP foursome. Bossa Nova Brasil 
Paramount), by Juarez and his or- 
ht from Rio — performed 
y musicians unknown in the States, but 
filled with that special ebullience or sad- 
ness that marks the best of the bossa nova. 
Bola Sete/Bosso Nova (1 asy) has the re- 
ably facile Brazilian guitarist, with 
Americans Ben Tucker, bassist, and Dave 
Bailey, drumme r of Brazilian 
rhythm men, playing dozen of his 
own creations coupled with a like and 
likable number of native tunes, includ 
ing the Manha de Carnaval from Black 
Orpheus. Cannonball's Bosse Nova (River- 
side) reverses the procedure and. plunks 
the estimable Мт. Adderley down among 
six friendly natives, the Bossa Rio 5 
of Brazil. The results are the Brazilian 
equivalent of gemütlich. The melodies 
are strictly from Rio: Cannonball's con- 
freres are highly competent and Adderley 
is happily Adderley. The last and possibly 
least item on the agenda, Three Guitars in 
Bossa Nova Time (Epic) spotlights guitarists 
Herb Ell id Johnny 
Gray, aided by tenor saxist Bobby Ene- 
voldsen and rhythm, as they run through 


standards and originals they 
10 convert to the idiom — an idiom that is 
rapidly becoming nova-blown 


Her second album, Confessin’ the Blues! 
(Riverside), finds Billie Poole ably assisted 
by the Junior Mance Trio. with guitarist 
Kenny Burrell as an added ы 
Poole’s vocal approach is direct, gutsy, 
and appropriately low-down, Her accom- 
panists share her point of view. 


‘Tony Bennett — whose carcer zoomed 
to ionospheric heightsafter his sensational 
vinylizing of / Left My Heart in San Fran- 
cisco — has come up with another LP jack 
pot. The pace оп ! Wanna Be Around . . . 
(Columbia) is relaxed, the mood roma 
tic, the delivery and material exception 
h points include The Good Life, I 
Got Your Number from Little Me, Let's 
Face the Music and Dance, and а haunt- 
ing bossa nova, Quiet Nights. The fine 
Somewhat 
or-league 
melodies 15 Tony Bennert/This Is All | Ask 
(Columbia), Nevertheless, there's. more 
than enough blue-ribbon Bennett to go 
round. Dig, for example, the beautiful 
title tune, the blues-tinted The Way That 
1 Feel, and the evocative Sandy's Smile. 
Ralph Burns and his orchestra and the 
Ralph Sharon Trio supply the backin 


The Virtuoso Trumpet, Volume 2 (Vanguard), 
features the famed Yugoslavian musi- 
i di Zagreb, conducted 
by Antonio Janigro, in a concert that 
moves in time from the late 17th Century 
through the end of the 18th. The baroque 
quality of the compositions — for solo and 
ensemble trumpet. [ e 
of the instruments majestic tone, The 
pieces range from Leopold Mozart's Con- 
certo for Clarino Solo, a tour de force 
written for high-register trumpeting, to 
Heinrich Franz von Biber's Sonata in B 
Flat [or Six Trumpets, Timpani and 
Organ — а regal work. 


alter ego is up to his 
ks Оп Jose Jimenez/Our Secret 
Weapon (Карр). Jose is hilarious 
runs through ish gallery of service 
types. ardsman stationed 
in Kansas City, he's proud of the job 
he's done guarding our coasts ("Үс 
notice you haven't found any missing"). 
Asa GI at mail call, he rev that a 
month-old leuer from his devoted 
rlfriend makes him suspect her ardor 
is cooling: it r Dear Sir: My hus- 
band and 1..." As a six-star general 
y a threestir general, but he 
on one shoulder which he 
tums toward someone he wants - 
press), Jose discusses his handling of 
artillery on Guam « the Ваше of 
the Bulge. Wh d that the 
Bulge was in Belgium, he guilelessly 
replies: “I didn’t say we hit anybody." 
As the CIA ctor. Jose voices the 
opinion that Ludwig von Beethoven 
was the greatest spy who ever lived 
When the astonished interviewer says 
that he didn't even know Beethoven 
"Sce 


Keely Smith/Litile. Blue— Little Girl New 
(Reprise), with ballads on one side and 
up-tempo items on the other, simplifies 
matters for the lis He can keep 
playing the ballad side and forget about 
the other. Torches such as Little Girl 
Blue, Gone with the Wind, Willow Weep 
for Me, and Guess I'll Hang My Tears 
Out to Dry (or, as Keely pronounces it, 
“Guess Ah'll H: th Tears Out to 
s meat. She loses 
us on the bubbly, bouncy ollerings. The 
session is à «d and conducted by 
Nelson Riddle. 


Beaucoup John Birks Gillespie this 
go-round: Dateline: Europe /Dizzy Gillespie in 
Concert (Reprise), taped in 19: 
Diz blowing with local French 
expatriates such as Don Byas and Nat 
. No matter the company he keeps, 
t home. The 


Mark Twains 
favorite- 


Bourbon 
or 


Scotch? 


Perhaps at one time or another, you’ve seen Mark 
Twain featured in our Old Crow advertising. The reason 
is that Mark Twain’s favorite bourbon was Old Crow. He 
was known to have been so pleased with it that he made a 
trip to Kentucky to visit James Crow’s distillery. There he 
ordered 25 barrels of Old Crow for his favorite tavern in 
Elmira, New York. 


FARK TWAIN 


But recently we were challenged. An executive from a 
competitive whiskey company wrote us saying he had in- 
controvertible evidence proving Mark Twain to be a Scotch 
drinker! 


We checked immediately and found that yes, it was 
true, the great American author had once been a Scotch 
drinker during his early years! But further digging 
revealed that subsequently he changed to bourbon! 


Now, many folks are going through the same taste 
change that Mark Twain experienced. They've 
tasted them all and found bourbon is the best. 
It has taste, for goodness sake—and smoothness. 
Have you tried the time-honored flavor of light, 
mild Old Crow 86 proof Kentucky bourbon? It 
is America's favorite. Try it and you'll see why 
Mark Twain changed to Old Crow. 


Light. Mild 86 Proof 


OLD 
CROW 


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THE OLD CROW DISTILLERY CO., FRANKFORT, KY. KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY, BG PROOF 


PLAYBOY 


34 


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PLAYBOY 


38 


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even 11-year-old Gillespie is vintage. 
Much more recent is Volume Four of a 
quartet of LPs headed Normon Granz Pre- 
sents “Jazz at the Philharmonic” in Europe 
(Verve). Diz, with stellar confreres J. J. 
Johnson and Stan Getz, leads the way 
through three extended efforts of glitter- 
ing dimensions — Gillespie's own Kush 
id Wheatleigh Hall, and Ellington's 
The Mooch. Item three is Dizzy Gillespie/ 
Something Old—Something New (Philips) a 
fresh batch of Gillespieana, featuring 
James Moody's tenor, that repr 
from Diz’ formative years on onc side, 
and а foursome of fresh r . three of 
them by Tom McIntosh, on the other. 
The Gillespie horn — eloquent, biting or 
clownish — is always a thing of beauty. 
The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan (Columbia) is 
the second recording for one of the most 


exciting. folk singers to come down the 
pike in a long while. Like his first LP, itis 
almost a musical stream of consciousness, 


Dylan unburdens himself on such con- 
temporary and 
lout and love with a raw-edged 
twang that is as intense as it is untutored. 

Harold Harris ot The Playboy Club (Vee 
Jay) proffers the popular pianist of the 
Chicago chapter and his trio in a set that 
tecs ol with a rocking rendition of 
Playboy's Theme, moves ris 
original, Hefner Just Walked In (on 
which Harold plays celeste) and continues 
apace thr t of standards and 
a second На n, Another Time. 
I's an outing guaranteed to please the 
Harris group's growing fan club. 


‘The last place we'd expect to find a 
first-class gospel group would be at Dis- 
neyland. but The Famous Ward Gospel Singers 
(Buena. Vista) were recorded there and 
they come on with a fervent drive that 
is pulsatingly impressive. The session 
contains such well-worn spirituals as 
Down by the Riverside, Shadrack, Dry 
Bones, and He's Got the Whole World in 
His Hands, which ave delivered with an 
enthusiasm and rhythmic vigor that im- 

an air of Ireshness to the occasion. 


А uio of big-band offerings are on 
«1. You Ain't Heard Not Yet! (Daunt- 
Jess), with guitarist Sal Salvador's outsize 
contingent, presents a set of beautifully 
charted tone poems interrupted oc 

sionally, and unfortunately, by Sheryl 
asly's vocals. Salvador's. deep-throated 
brass section, which includes a brace of 
mellophones. is impressive, as are the 


arrangements by Larry Wilcox, and the 
solo work of leader man Salvador. On a 
smaller scale, in size that is, is the band on 


The New Sounds of Moynard Ferguson (Cameo), 
although, pushed by its leader's wild 
the band can pile up a wondrous 
decibel count. Included are such jazz 


hor 


THE 

SOUND 

OF 
ENTERTAINMENT 


ON 
COLUMBIA 
RECORDS 


soomaa {мәж те PMO N USA. 


KIRKLAND, PAINE, FLICK & FOLEY—COMMUNICATIONS SPECIALISTS 


In three years The Brothers Four have come a long way from the frater- 
nity house where they sang for kicks. Now they delight audiences from M 
Tokyo to Tangiers, Tashkent to Tallahassee. Their formula? Take the har- 

monious fun of the old-time barbershop quartet. Mix in a banjo, bass, 
guitars-maybe a bongo drum or cymbal. Add а solid beat, one you can 
fool, whether in the melodic “Scarlet Ribbons” or the bouncy "Tie Me 
Kangaroo Down, Sport.” A successful blend? They get the message across 
wherever they appear-a campus in the Middle West or a hotel in the 
Middle East. Hear it in such albums as their Greatest Hits, or Cross 
Country Concert or Song Book (with lyrics, score and guitar chords added). 
Or their newest best seller, The Big Folk Hits. They really communicate. 


THE BROTHERS FOUR ON COLUMBIA RECORDS 


DON HUNSTEIN 


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standards as ke the "A" Train, Chero- 
hee, and One O'Clock Jump, and a pair of 
funky favorites, Gravy Waltz and Water- 
melon Man. Encore (Philips), the Woody 
Herman band recorded liv Basin 
Street, West, gives ample evidence that 
the current Herd, playing Nat Pierce 
charts for the most part, is onc of the most 
exciting entourages going, Tenor man 
Sal Nistico, pianist Pierce and wombonist 
Phil Wilson are electric soloists, and the 
band's ensemble work has а singing 
exuberance that is infectious. As cases in 
point, catch Watermelon Man and Better 
Get It in Your Soul — nonpareil swi 


Each new Oscar Brown LP offers fresh 
evidence of a major talent. His latest, 
Oscor Brown, Jr. Tells It Like It Is! (Columbia). 
is the composer Dyiicistsir best to 
date. Oscar can be wryly devilish. as on 
The Snake, poignantly tender with A 
Young Girl, funky, via Sing Hallelujah, 
or rocking, ason Tall Like Pine. No тас 
ter which hat he wears, Oscar is alwi 
stylish. 


The Victor Feldmon All Stors Play the World’s 
First Album of Soviet Jazz Themes (Ауа) is il 
surprising set: the sis numbers, all com- 
posed by Soviet musicians, indicate that 
Western jazz not only has penetrated the 
Iron Curtain but has done it with con- 
siderable y “тан employs two 
task forces: one includes Nat Adderley 
and pianist Joc Zawinul, the other, Herb 
Ellis and Carmell Jones. Tenor man 
Harold Land and the rhythm section 
perform on both sides. The recording 
confirms the old cliché the 
ultimate cliché) of the universality of jazz. 


xl truth 


John Colnane's rapidly growing kin- 
ship with the ballad is readily apparent 
On John Coltrane ond Johnny Hortmon (Im- 
pulse!). Hartman, a fine singer, strangely 
neglected, is matched in his lyricism by 
Coltrane's horn, as they move cflortlessly 
through a half-dozen standard delights 
including My One and Only Love, You 
Are Too Beautiful, and the too-scldom- 
heard Dedicated to You. 

It's You or No One/Bobby Darin (Atco) 
profits measur from Bobby Scott's 
tastefully inventive charts. The dozen 
ballads — some sprightly, others indigo — 
have Bobby covering, for the most part, 
well-traveled territory, but tunes such 
ГИ Be Around, 1 Hadn't Anyone Till 
You, and All or Nothing at All still fall 
pleasingly on the cars. 


project, authors rcac 
‘ks on 7-inch LPs, been 
launched with а quartet of eminen 
ts. Jomes Baldwin reads from Gio 
vanni's Room; William Styron docs a por- 
tion of Lie Down in Darkness; Philip Roth, 
а segment from Letting Go; aud Bernard 


Malamud reids a short story from The 
Magic Barrel (all on Calliope). The latter 
is the only disappointment in a project 
that bodes well for the future, Malamud's 
dry, pedantic voice detracts from what 
was, in print, one of his most powerful 
short stories, The Mourners. But Styron's 
fully moving. and Roth 
1 of the first order, while 
ing of а homosexual's 
n to his latent drives is pow- 


DINING-DRINKING 


It is appropriate that Le Café Chambord 
should refer to itself as French Pro- 
vincial, since there is really no опе more 


sophisticated, foodwise, than the provin 
cial Frenchman. Let us note here that 
Chambord has disappeared from Man- 


hattan’s 3rd Aver much like the van 
ished el under which it stood for so n 
nd moved lock, stock, chef (F 
s) and wine cellar in with 
Cóte Basque (5 East 55th Street, 
which bills itself as a Frenchescafood 
restaurant. The result is a fittingly p 
tigious backdrop for the highest of hante 
cuisine, The room is bright and cheerful 
replete with wormwood and Tudor deco- 
s well as magnificently executed 
murals of the French seacoast. but every- 
thing fades before the food. ‘There are 
specialties of the house that you are 
not likely to have at anybody else's house 
though, by some mysterious Gallic 
Ichemy, the stall is capable of perform- 


ing culinary miracles with the simplest 
of dishes. The menu reflects the restau- 
ants split personality. with Chambord's 
provincial cuisine à la carte on one side 


and Cote Basques priv fixe dinner 
(59.50) on the other. H your appe! 


resources are as big as vour eyes, vou 
cat your way from the the 
provinces and че 


(crab. me 
sauce) posse flavor that 
is almost aphrodisiac. If you are in the 
mood to pique your taste buds with 
something more down-to-earth, try Cote 
"s Coulibiac de Saumon Basque 
mushrooms, eggs and truffles 


so delicate in flavor, we're convinced it 
never had to endure the hardy rigors of 
the sea, Homard а l'Amoricaine i 
lobster in a startlingly quixotic br 
ice which will the 


med as if they were crown jewels, 
"The wines served at the recommendati 
of the solicitous and notable sommelia 


й 
Y 
\ 


In Fine Whiskey... 


FLEISCHMANNS 
is the BIG buy! 


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THE FLEISCHMANN DISTILLING CORPORATION, NEW YORK CITY 


41 


PLAYBOY 


STORM 


The gale warnings 


are unmistakable. 


1. It’s Sunday night. 
2. You're about to tape 
a special program. 
3. You're completely out 
of Audiotape. 
There are several 
alternatives, including 
strong drink, а good ery 
and cat burglary. 
Whatever difficult 
course you choose, 


be warned. 


Always keep plenty 
of Audiotape on hand. 


Flesh and blood can 


stand just so much. 


“it speaks for itself” 
AUDID DEVICES, INI 


Onices n LosAngeles ө Chiam ө 


42 


pom 


ме Wadison Ave, New York 22, N. Y. 
Washington, D. C. 


Marius Roussin. are from what is un- 
doubtedly one of the world's premier 
cellars. The maitre de is Ernest, and vou 
ure living dangerously if you dine à deux 
with less than S50 in tow. Closed Mon- 
days, Le Cafè Chambord at La Cote 
Basque is open for lunch, with dinner 
served until 1H ром. 


ng merger of modern jazz and 
Neapolitan mulrimento is New York's 
Halt Note (21 Hudson Street), Two 
blocks from the Hudson River and bur 
icd among antediluvian waterfront build- 
ings, this modest music-filled snuggery is 
difficult for even neighborhood. cabbies 
to locate. And yet 


has managed to sur- 


vive customer shortages which have 
sorely tried the tills of better-heeled and 
better-localed brethren to the north. The 
Note's ultimate weapons in this war for 
tomers’ cash are the C: 
who omnipresently preside over the club, 
treating their musicians with the respect 
most club owners reserve for ringside 
Enter the dub and the Can 
are everywhere. You may be 
greeted at the door by Sonny. check 
your coat with sister Rosemary, order a 
drink at the bar from brother Mike or 
brother-in-law Arn Rose's husband. or 
request a dish prepared. by the Can- 
terino padrone, Frank. The only break 
in this Italiam phalanx. occurs. between 
the kitchen and your table. Waiter Wil 
liam (AL) Aberg. who feeds all of the 
Note’s tables on weck nights, is du- 
ate ol a clutch of kosher delicatessens, but 
he managed to convince the Canterinos 
he was a paesano. Jarz is. of course, the 
main attraction, but the food is highly re- 
spectable. While digging such forward- 
look: 
Sims-AL Cohn, Lennie Tristano, Chuk 
Tery-Bob Brookmeyer, Art Farmer, 
or Jim Hall, one may supplement the 
sounds with veal parmagiani, man 
or concotti (stuffed macaroni). all at 
$2.50 the plate, Halve that price for a 
herosize veabcutlet ог sausage 
wich. Occasionally, when chef 
feels inspired. he will beget a 
lasagna, or a bow! of special pastafazool 
and offer them, menu aside, to select 
patrons, The food and firewater arc dis. 
Linsed in two softly lit rooms separated 
by a raised bandstand. The decor 
modernistic wood impressions of instiu- 
ments and record-album covers adorning 
the 


the 


nerinos, 


‚ groups as those ded by Zoor 


оц 


green walls — is more a tribute to 
the ingenuity of Sonny and Mike, who 
had to make do when money was i 
short supply, than a decorative triumph. 


BOOKS 


The stern reward of Mary Mc 
virtues is that if she writes wh; 


rthy’s 
is merely 


a pretty good novel, it's a disappoint 
ment, Ly The Group (Harcourt, Brace & 
World. $5.95). she takes ei 
Vassar 733 from their graduation to 1910. 
The cast is assorted: an ambitious West 
einer, and a romantic Bostonian: а pallid 
gal, aud a frankly sexy one 
monde Leshi: and so on. Their hus 
bands and lovers include a playwright 
fund raiser, a painter, а doctor, an ed- 
itor, a refugee. The themes are predict 
able, too: New Dealism. psychoanalysis. 
Hitler, Spanish Civil. War, Leftist thc 
freedom, ete. The letdown is 
ot in the choice of characters 
— what else could a Thirties novel of col 
lege grads in New York be about? — but 
in the use of them, which, by McCarthy 
standards, is superticis 


ght members of 


beau 


CT, sex 


id themes 


tead of те 


creation, there is detail. ("Veal kidneys 
done with cooking sherry and mush 
rooms, and a marvelous jellicd salad 
called Green Goddess. made with lime 
gelatin, shrimps, mayonnaise, and alli 
sator pear, which could be fixed the night 
belore in ramekins and then unfolded on 
lettuce. cups.) Instead. of wit. there is 
cute kidding. ("Libby MacAusland had a 
spilly apartment in the Vill m 
stead of characterization there is dossier. 
(Too long to quote) The structural 
method is the set piece: a girl's sexu 
n and purchase of a diaphragm: 
a character vignette of a butler: a p 
that ends 
chronicle in the O'Hara mode. and va 
ons sections are eminently excerptable. 
But the novel we had a right to expect 
a book that combines the sociopoliti 
cal grasp of a Koestler with the precise 
bite of à Waugh. a marriage of extraor 
din nelle and humanity = (har 
novel it isn't 


Dan Wakefield's interest in the world 
of drugs and drug takers, first evidenced 
in these pages (The Prodigal Powers of 
Pot, August 1962), has brought forth new 
тий. The Addict (Gold Medal, 50¢), which 
Wakefield has edited, is an intelligently 


conceived collection of essa 


ys and fiction 


excerpts from the pens of 15 knowledge 
ables, including a psychiatrist, a junkie, 
a minister and Alexander King. Their 
diverse contribu h Wake 
provide a 
1g. deep-probing view of the 


field's wakeful introduction, 
widerang 


uneasy relationship between the addict 


and his society. The book 
ures and fascinating insights into the psy 
chology of the hooked. We are left with 
the hope that the old lock^eme-up phi- 
losophy, still prevalent in the U. S., is in 
the process of giving v 
mane 

lem. 


es facts, liz 


to а more hu- 
ic human prob 


Last year, Bruce Jay Friedman's first 
published novel, Stern, received respect 
ful app от respected cr 


For 


new shaggy people story Ordinarily you don't ex 
story. But many pe г 
hurt the feelings of any sh gs they might 
s. Please note: extrem 
ir, 35 pe xl. They come s-m-I-xl in winter о 
ry), and grey heather (Paul' and in the last three c 
res. Turtle tee irt about 


just to hear $ 


don't 


ant 


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THE LONG 
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THEY HUG 
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Service; or directly to YMM Slacke, Michigan 
City, Indiana. 


- Youn 
Man's 
Mood 


A JAYMAR SLACK. 


A Product of Jaymar-Ruby, Inc. 


from the City of Closs (Frommer-Pasman- 
tier, $4.50), a collection of short 
stories, will do nothing to lesen that 
respect. Iu his probing for the aberrs 
tions of mankind, Friedman uses a strik- 
ing justaposition of the 

and the bizarre, Thus. in The Holiday 
Crlebrators — about three lower lovers 
whose duty it is to sce to it that the 
predicted holiday death toll is reached: 
“A young girl with a lithe figure and 
ig wounds emerged from the Lin- 
ı anl said, dementedly, “Bande Aids. 
Get Band-Aids, sex.” 
In most of thes? 16 stories (three have ap- 
peared in rLavioy), the author's concern 
is fantasy, and very clever. fantasy it 
When You're 
fki-esque excursion into the con- 
science of a Jew who must take his exa 
cise at Vic Таппуз even though it is Yom 
Kippur, the holiest night of the year. 
Two of the best stories, The Trip and 


conventional 


nd there'll be 


Excused, Youre Excused 


The Good Time, deal with a young 
man's relationship to his mother. The 
mother is the richest character in the 


collection and one can sense that she 
must, someday, form the core of a Bruce 
Jay Friedman novel. 

1n Glide Poth (Harcourt, Brace & World, 
$4.50), PLAYHoY regular Arthur C. Clarke 
turns from science fiction to science fic 
tionalized. Through the cyes of a young 
Englishman, Alan Bishop. he tells the 
story of the development in World War 
П of the radar talk-down system by 
which planes are guided to landings by 
technicians on the ground. After initial 
resistance by pilots who liked to con 
their own Landings and some serious 
operational snags. the all 
perfected and accepted. The techi 
part of the tale is à good deal more diec 
i the human part AL 
story being somewhat reminiscent of the 
onward andupward novels of our boy- 
hood: the Тау moral fiber, except for 
brief fling with a lady of easy virtue, 
is worthy of a bishop. But Arthur Clarke 
is suictly оп the beam when it comes 
to explic and celebrating the tech- 
nical wonders of our tim 
Caldwell’s The Lost Night of 
Strans, 


system was 


your 


Erskine 
Summer (Farrar 3.05) is 
tionary tale if there ever was one. The 
y who makes a play for her boss 
ped 1 the boss 
gets his head bashed in with a broke 

gin boule by his drunken, neurotic wile 
Maybe they, whoever they are, do live 
in Gulfport, but if so, who 


а сац 


secret 


1 murdered, 


e this down 


cares? The violence % banal; the cmo- 
tions are stale; the language is lat. A 
novelist who gives us puppets of passion 
ry people (never mind 
heroes) at least ought to provide us with 
some amusement — like rhymes, or 

grams, or a limerick every few pages. 
Not just a woman who gets drunk and 


instead of ord 


keeps saying that she is a ^ 
male" and that she is gc 
husband's root off 


come home when she asked him 


ng to bite he 


because he didn't 


While waiting to sce the Taylor-Burton. 
Harrison Cleopatra. or alter it. or, better 
still, during it, there's hilarity to be had 
fiom two books about the making of this 
epic. Producer Walter Wanger, 
by Joe Hyams, has done up a diary 
called My Life with Cleopatra (Bantam, 0с), 
which traces the eazy crusade from its 
stillborn start in E 
were filming outdoor Egyptian scenes in 
October with two minutes of sunshine 
per day, fresh palm fronds flown in regu 
larly from the 
hairdresser getting 51009 a plus 
5600 expenses. The Cleopatra Popers (Simon 
nd Schuster, 53.95), consists of outol- 
office letters, cables, and phone calls 
between Jack Brodsky and Nathan Weiss. 
Fox flacks during the fracas, Their ac 
count of the Burton-Taylor boudoir 
boogie-woogie, of Rex Harrison's C; 
ian operations, and of general executive 
antics is more revealing than Liz cos 
tumes. Sample: Spyros Skouras, harried 
studio chief, Rome to see all 
the film that has been shot so far. Weiss 
sits next to him and has to wake him 10 
times during the running of the picture 
in which he has sunk over 535,000,000. 
Note: Brodsky and Weiss now work 
elsewhere. 


assisted 


gland where they 


Mediterrancan, and. Liz 


wee 


sar 


rrives iı 


The Gerard of Jack Kero 
of Gerord (Farrar, Straus, 53. 
older brother. who died at the 
nine when Kerouac was four 
memorial to him 


ACs Visions 


of 
This 
s the most recent of uie 


series of autobiographical novels which 


Kerouac collectively titles The Dulua- 
Legend. Vt is captivating, less for what 
it tells of the sickly, luminous brother 
than for Keroi ability to make pal 
pable the details of his family’s life in 
Lowell, Massachusetts. Much of the book 
mired in Kerouac's stylistic excesses. 
His metaphors stumble over exch other 


in various stages of disaaray, and sensi 
tivity tends to slip into sentimentality 
And there is the us patchwork philos. 
ophy which confuscdly 
comprehended elements. of Eastern. re 
igions with a Calvinist view of the hu- 
man condition ("No man is exempt from 
sin any more than he can avoid a trip 
to the toilet"). Yet, there are suddenly 
ive passages which distill he way 
French-Canadian emigrants adapted 
themselves to the cracked American 
dream 30 ye go. The scenes of the 
father’s all-night card game 
reminder that Kerou: 
compelling impressionist whi 
gets his role as guru of the b 


blends barely 


irs 


nd boozing 
can be a 
1 he for- 


are i 


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The following two-part question, which 
evolved from a late-night bull session, is 
merely theoretical but we'd like to get the 
PLAYBOY view on it. Here goes: (A) Sup 
pose you are going to the races and a 
friend gives vou 520 to bet on 
horse. You get to the track and make the 
bet, but after the race is under way you 
discover that you've bought the wron; 
ticket. As fate would have it, the “wrong 
horse wins and the ticket which you 
bought by mistake pays 5670. Now what, 
cthically, should you do? (B) Same situ- 
ation, except that the "right" horse wins 
and the ticket which you should have 
bought— but. didit — pays 5670. Now 
what? — B. A. and H. L., Miami, Florida. 

In cither case, it's a horse of the same 
color. Win or lose, a mistake has been 
made, so it's up to the man who goojed 
10 give a full report of the error and 
throw himself on the mercy of his friend 
Specifically. in Case A, he should offer 
to turn over the entire $670. In Case В, 
he must offer to pay the $670 which 
his friend would have won. But his 
friend, knowing that such a mistake was a 
possibility when he asked for the favor, 
also has an ethical obligation. In Case A, 
he should insist on splitting the S670 
windfall 50-50. In Case B, he should ask 
for no more than his original $20 back. 


particular 


For some time I've been making it with 
a very hip Scandinavian chick, She's 
everything one could ask. for, but there's 
one problem: although she has fine man- 
ners and does very well in compauy, she 
can't resist trying. to caress me in very 
intimate and obvious ways when we're in 
public. What should 1 do? — Z. P., Cam- 
bridge, Massachusetts, 

Stay home, avoid crowds and get plenty 
of bed rest. 


BAL the guys in my dorm think I'm a 
kook simply because I've toyed with the 
idea of making the Army a 
set out of college. 1 have a hunch a guy 
with brains and drive could go inan 
ion that doesn't ly attract 
great intellects. Am I being irra- 
Pittsburgh, Peunsylvani, 

A military career requiresa certain type 
of temperament and outlook. If you can 
categorize yourself as an aggressive hot- 
shol with à burning ambition to succeed, 
you тау find the military, with its 
seniovity system, built-in bureaucracy and 
endless red tape, а highly frustrating way 
of life. If security, a sense of service, and 
a chance for countless changes of scenery 
und possible adventure rank high, then 
probably you would be doing the right 
thing 


career alter 1 


enera 


Having recently deserted bachelor 
ranks, I've encountered my first major 
marital problem. My fatherin-law, of 
whom I think the world, has offered me a 
job with his company. It would be pleas- 
ant, well-paying, with obviously great 
opportunities for advancement, but it 
would be totally undemanding and non- 
challenging. My present bouom-rung 
position h y attached to it, 
but the work is interesting, and I think 
the chance to get ahead is there if I really 
put my mind to it. As the family bread- 
winner, I want to do what's right, and Fm 
wondering if turning down my wife's dad 
would be a purely selfish act on my part. 
— K. H., Akron, Ohio. 

We think not, since your mental alti- 


s a small а 


tude at home will be largely governed by 
the influence your job asserts on you (the 
majority of your waking hours are spent 
at work), your choice of jabs will play a 
large part in your domestic life. Resent- 
ing the sinecur 


you will eventually wind 


up resenting your father-in-law, and — it 
then follows—your wife, who yowll 
probably blame, consciously or uncon- 
sciously, for your taking the job in the 
first place. Stay put, and work your way 
up ina job you enjoy. 


ДА. private dinner party recently, one 
of the guests dropped and broke a wine 
glass. Immediately thereafter, our host 
arose [om the table and ceremoniously 
dashed his glass in the fireplace. There 
were smiles all around, but I secretly felt 
that this performance had called atten- 
tion unnecessarily to the guest's accident. 
Don't you agree?—R. F., Denver, Colorado. 

Only in part. Your host was adhering 
to an Old World custom of graciousness 
th smashing proof that the break 
was no shattering loss. In the same situa- 
How, however, we would merely suy, 
“Don’t worry about it, Charlie” and let 
ii goa that: 


T 


ve been using a motor scooter to get to 
and from the office and it has suited my 
needs just fine. Now, however, I've been 


promoted out of my junior junior execu- 
tive status and Tam wondering whether 1 
ought to turn to some more dignified 
means of transportation — the scoote 
probably gives me а Joc College label.— 
D. B., Chicago. Illinois. 

If the scooler is the answer to your 
transportation problem, slick with it. 


More and more, urban execs have turned 
10 two-wheelers as a means of cutting con- 
siderable time from their portal-to-portal 
peregrinations. 


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irs back, I was forced to make 
decision between two girls. I was able 
to сату on with both for a number of 
months before one found out about the 
other — then they laid down the law and 
demanded that 1 choose. | did, and 
ked her to marry me; we got married. 
but she couldn't stop nagging me about 
my айай with the rejected girl, and 
this — plus other problems, of course — 
ually Ted 10 the dissol 
rage. Im free now and can't stop 
thinking about the other girl, who I 
hear is married and living in a distant 
city. How did 1 manage to foul things up 
so much and what do you think I should 
do about the faraway miss 1 missed: 

F.. Dall 

Agamemnon made the same mistake 
and wound up chewing draperies. You 
were more fortunate. However, it doesn’t 
necessarily follow that you chucked the 
chick — the other choice might 
have turned oul even worse, H's nalural 
for you to reminisce now about the other 
romance, bul it's the memory you're hung 
up on, not the girl, and since that “far 
away mis” a Mis, it’s best to 
forget her and concentrate on the free 


fillies in the field. 


МІ, boyfriend is a pict 
E il he sits down. Then, about 
three inches of hairy calves show between 
the tops of h nd the bottoms of 
trousers, 1 can't believe a fellow 
look like a country bumpkin just be 
he's seated. He says he's always worn 
anklets, that he buys them at one of the 
better men's stores in town, and that they 
wouldn't sell them if they were uustylish; 
L say they're awful. Who's right? — К. A. 
St. Louis, Missouri 
You ате. There's nothing as square- 
rigged as a businesssuiled or sports- 
jacketed gentleman with peek-a-boo 
calves. His socks should reach at least 
three fourths of the up his calves, 
whether he chooses stretch socks or uses 
garters with the nonstretch kind. 
thing but active-sports attire, wh 
socks are permissible, anklets are as out 
as spats. 


И came across an English automotive 
m e at my barbershop the other day 
and D must say the editors could have 
been writing in Swahili for all 1 under- 
stood. A few of the terms 1 remember 
were "facia," "wing," "bonnet," 
squab” and "trafficitor." What do the 
mean? — O. L., Minneapolis, Minnesota. 

Facia is the English equivalent of our 
dashboard, fender, bonnet is 
hood, boot is trunk, squab is a rear wat's 
backrest and trafficator is British [or turn. 
signal. 


ion of our 


evel 


wrong 


iy now 


socks a 


as to 


“boot,” 


wing is 


1 spotted 
ingly beautiful young girl c 
similar pursuit — sans bikini. After three 
mornings of coincidental path-crossing 
we met. discovered that we shared m 
werests besides early ман 


dips. 
rest of our stay, we had a ball. 


о, when 


she made ready to leave the hotel. | 
volunteered to pay her bill aud she 
accepted the oller. We separated. wi 


h other in the n 
v th 


a promise to see c 
future but 1 can't help th 
should 
Was this а sucker move 
J-Y- Washington, D. С 

it was certainly generous, thats. for 
sure. But if the two weeks with your mer- 
maid were as pleasant as you describe, 
we'd never call you a patsy. Still, you have 
established a precedent with her and 
you'll have to cuff your next jaunt to- 
gether unless you lell her otherwise in 
advance. 


td 
ot have picked up her hotel tab. 


on my p: 


Кошу carrent TV set going to be ober 


lete with the introduction of the new sets 
having a full range of UHF channels?— 
S. C., Los Angeles, Californ 


Not at all. There are converters avail- 
able which can be attached 10 your set 
that will enable it to pick up whatever 
UHF stations are in operation in your 
атса. They sell for under 510. 


Ou school 


ses the honor system for 
ations, The other day E spotted a 
ssmiite chcati My initial reaction 
was to actas though Md seen nothing. But 
alter the exam 1 took stock of the situa- 
tion. and realized. that 
re marked on the curve, by not report 
g him | was probably lowering my 
rade and. the grades of other people in 
the class who'd been tying 10 do their 
best without the benefit of “ponies.” And 
yet, my eventual decision was not to re- 
port him, because 1 didirt want to be a 
fink. What think you — was I right in 
choosing to be a patsy rather than a stool 
pigeon? — D. F., Boston, Massachusctts. 
Anyone who chooses to be a patsy de 
The ground rules for the 
honor system are very simple. If your 
cheating classmate won't abide by the 
rules, he should be tossed out of the game. 
He took his chances. knowing that the 
only way he could be caught was for a 
fellow test-taker to turn him in, and when 
you gamble you've gat to accept the possi 
bility of losing. You have been had by 
your schoolchum’s belief (evidently well- 
founded in this instance) that the fear of 
the "informe 


since our exams 


is 


serves to be one, 


" stigma was too deeply 
ingrained among his fellow classmen for 
him to be exposed. 


[Га in the process of furnishing my 
helor apartment, and have enlisted 
the services of a decorating consultant for 
avery fine furniture store. The consultant 
spent a considerable amount of time 
ng sketches, selecting fabrics and 
furniture, 
lent master р 
to order, a fr 


and has come up with an excel- 
in. But now that I'm ready 
e tells me that he. 
me items wholesale. 
1 of saving money 


cam get me the 
urally, the id 
appeals to me but 
feel ethically obliged to order from tl 
furniture моге. My friend, however, 
gues that the store offered its free 
service merely in the hope of getting my 
business, and that I'd be a nut uot to take 
up his wholesale offer. What do you 
think? — R. T., Chicago, Ilinois. 

Stick with the store. While you're not 
Iegally bound to do so, we agree that it 
would be unethical to take both its recom- 
mendations and your business elsewhere. 
Further, there are а couple of other rea- 
sons for heeding your costly conscience: 
(1) if there is anything wrong with a 
wholesale purchase, youll have much 
more trouble returning it; and (2) since 
you wanted the store's help to begin with, 
youll still want it when it comes time to 
add the accessories that make the dif- 
ference between a truly tasteful apart- 
ment and a flat full of furniture 


Bam 20 years old and am planning to 
move to Los Angeles soon. Recently Т 
became close friends with a swinging 
cick wile’ (quite. a mastelame (lim ia 
theater myself), and she announced just 
yesterday that she proposes to go with 
10 continue her studies there, after 
E settled. in an 
apartment (with me). She even has 5200 
to contribute to the cause. Sound like a 
bachelor’s dream? Not quite. The chick 
ixonly 15, old beyond her y ү 
ways, but. nevertheless, 15. [s this or 
this not bad news? — L. T., Bloomington, 
Indians 
Bad news? I's the worst we've heard 
since our Aunt Matilda willed her mil- 
lions to a Siamese cal. You may be in 
theater right now but you'll be in jail 
until you're old enough 10 play King 
Leur without make-up if you don't act 
fast. Kiss Baby Doll goodbye und fold 
this shaw before it goes on ihe road. 


ars in mı 


All reasonable questions — from fash- 
jon, food and dink. hi-fi and sports cars 
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette 

will be personally answered. if the 
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed 
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 232 E. Ohio 
Sircet, Chicago, Hlinois 60611. The most 
provocative, pertinent queries will. be 
presented on these pages cach month. 


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aor naa; JAWAHARLAL NEHRU 


a candid conversation with the architect of modern india 


During the turbulent. course of the 
Cold War, no world leader has so dra- 
onified his country's ideals 
and aspirations, or spoken with greater 
eloquence in the cause of peace, than 
India's indomitable Prime Minister, 73- 
year-old Jawaharlal Nehru. Despite the 
‘surfeit of India’s domestic difficulties, 
Nehru has managed in his 16 years as 
chief of state to project his country asa 
persuasive force in international affa 
principally through the persistent lucidit 
and moral logic of his thinking. Concur- 
rently, he has campaigned energetically 
at home for the elimination of caste. igno- 
rance, disease, the disheartening poverty 
which still leaves 95 percent of the Indian 
people in desperate circumstances, and 
the national disunity reflected in part by 
seven different racial types and more than 
700 languag 
tavian battle — joined. but scarcely won — 
has gained ather Jawaharlal’ the al- 
most mystic adulation of his people, a 
feeling of mutual communion which was 
intensified by the nationalistic fervor 
arising from the Red Chinese border 
attack one year ago this month. 

The personality of the political and 
spiritual heir of Mahatma Gandhi is as 
complex — and in many ways as contro- 
verstal — ах has been his career. A man of 
aristocratie birth and fastidio 
a product of seven years of uppererust 
English schooling (Harrow, Cambridge, 
London's Inner Temple), Nehru seems to 


and dialects. This humani- 


habits, 


“Politicians and journalists have much 
in common. Both presume to talk too 
much, to deliver homilies; both, generally 
speaking, require no qualifications at all 
for their jobs.” 


draw his mental energy from direct con- 
tact with the mainstream of Indian life: 
the clamoring kisans, or peasants. Often 
irritable and quick to anger, he passed 10 
years of imprisonment by the British in 
unflustered serenity, using the time to 
wiite and to meditate. Though his words 
to the West on the desirability of coexist- 
ence have struck some American observ- 
ers as morally arrogant and offensive. 
Nehru has been described. by Supreme 
Court Justice William О. Douglas as "the 
most effective campaigner against com- 
munism of any of our leaders” Lonely. 
aesthetic, introspective, а man whose pri- 
vate pleasures tend toward “mountains, 
running water, children, glaciers, good 
conversation, all animals except bats and 
centipedes.” he and his elusive identity 
may perhaps best be explained by the 
subtle interplay of two disparate points 
ofsiew—the Indian and the international. 

Prime Minister Nehru granted. the 
following exclusive interview on the 
hibiscusscented grounds of his home at 
10 Tin Murti Marg, New Delhi. Clad in 
his familiar white Gandhi cap and brown 
frock coat (a fresh red rosebud in the 
third buttonhole), puffing occasionally on 
one oj the five cigarettes he allows him- 
self cach day, he listened. carefully to 
cach question before responding in the 
meticulous, rather musical accent of the 
British-bred Brahman, As he spoke, his 
avistocralic, light-tan visage reflected the 
sensitive concern of a man who cares 


“While there have been great soldiers in 
the past, 1 do not think that the military 
outlook or the purely military method 
has yet solved any major problem of 


deeply about life and its preservation. 
Our conversation opened оп a somber 
note: the continuing threat of nuclear 
disaster. 


PLAYBOY: Mr. Nehru, during your 16 years 
as Prime Minister of India, you hav 
endeavored — with considerable success — 
to keep yourself and your country aloof 
from the partisan conflicts of the Cold 
War. From your vantage point. of non- 
lignment, how would you assess tli 
dominant mood of our time? 

NEHRU: The symbol of the age is the nu- 
clear bomb — or nuclear energy, if you 
like, though it is well to remember that 
today nuclear energy is thought of in 
terms of bombs only, Man’s thinking is 
conditioned by that symbol. Probably, 
the prevailing feeling in the world toda 
is fear. Almost everybody is afraid of 
something; every country afraid of 
some other country. Hundreds of mil- 
lions all over the world live under some 
kind of suspended sentence of di 
from day to day an 
in people's minds of di 
We seem to be driven helplessly 
the abyss. More and more people i 
sponsible posi Ik in terms of | 
sion, revenge and retaliation. They talk 
of security and behave which is 
likely to put an end to all security. They 
talk of peace and think and act in terms 
ol war. 

PLAYBOY: Whar do you think are the pos- 


en in resisting evil and aggression, we 
have always to maintain the temper of 
peace and hold out the hand of friend- 
ship to those who, through [сат or other 
reasons, may be opposed to us.” 


51 


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sible consequences of tliis war mentality? 
NEHRU: When the desire for survival asserts 
itself, then logical thinking and the тед 


soning faculties do not even function 
Human be t their humanity. 
because they hring to escape some 
dreadful t They do not care what 
happs or at they do in order to 


survive, But when the real struggle comes, 
few may survive and, possibly, those who 
do will not be human. IF it comes, it will 
be an overwhelming and all-envelopit 
w h may well bring utter 
destruction to the world and which will 
probably ruin the structure of modern 
civ The democratic тз may 
win the war — mind. you. I have tiule 
doubt that they will — but I doubt if after 
the disaster of a world war, democracy 
could survive at all. What we are discuss: 
therefore, is a tter of the greatest 
consequence. I wish to say frankly that I 
easy remedy. All we сап do is to 
grope in the ight for something 
that will, perhaps. prevent the twilight 
from becoming dark night. 

PLAYBOY: How. in your opinion, can the 
nant belief in the inevitability of 
war be most ellectively countered? 
NEHRU: Something more is necessary than 
mere formulas. What we need is a passion 
for peace. It is to this temper of peace 
that T want especially to direct my mind 
and your mind. While we are in the midst 
ional crisis. perhaps an even 
confronts us today in the 
spirit of . We have built up 
civilization and its achievements are re- 
markable. It holds the promise of even 
great hievements in the future. But 
while these material achievements 


a war whi 


mali; 


© 
very great, somehow we appear to be 
slipping away from the very essence of 
div Ultimately, culture and civili- 
ration rest in the mind and behavior of 
man and not in the material evidence of 
it that we see around us. In times of war 
the ci 1g process stops and we go 
buck to some barbarous phase of the 
human mind. 

PLAYBOY: A popular truism holds that the 
civilizing process will he accelerated bv 
the dissemination of knowledge through 
modern communications and transport. 
Do you € 
NEHRU: T hc a great deal of confusion. 
in my mind on this point. Nations, indi- 
viduals and groups talk of understanding 
one another and seems obvious that 
people should try to understand and to 
learn from one another. Yet, when I look 
the pages of history or study 
rent events, I sometimes find tha 
people who know one another most 
quarrel most. Countries which are next 
door in Europe or in Asia somehow seem 
to rub one another the wrong way. 
though they know one another very 
thoroughly. Thus knowledge, by itself. 
does not lead to greater cooperation or 
friendship. 


PLAYBOY: What do you believe must be 
the concomitant of knowledge? 

NEHRU: If we approach our fellow human 
beings or countries in a friendly way, 
with our minds and hearts open — and 
that does not mean surrendering some- 
thing that we consider of essential value 
to truth or to our own genius — then we 
shall be led not only towards understa 
ing but towards the right type of under- 
standing. 

PLAYBOY: How docs this philosophy — the 
concept of the open hand and the open 
heart — relate to India's foreign policy? 
NEHRU: There are only two ways of ap- 
proaching the problem of international 
relatious. One is the conviction that, eve 
though we try to avoid it. war is bound to 
come. Therefore, we should prepare for 
it and when it comes, join this side or 
that. The ower way starts with the feel- 
ing that it can be avoided. Now, there is a 
great dillerence in these two approaches. 
1 you arc mentally convinced that war is 
boi 


ıd to come, you naturally 
yourself to the idea and, perhaps uncon- 
sciously, even work for it, On the other 
hand, if you want to work for the avoid- 
ance of w: 


accustom 


you must believe that it can 
be avoided. ОГ course, no country can 
entirely ignore the possibility of being 
entangled in a war; it must take such pre- 
cautions as it ought to. 

PLAYBOY: For India, this possibility be- 
came reality last October when. 110,000 
Red Chinese troops poured down from 
the Him into Ladakh the 
North East Frontier Agency to launch a 
month-long border war which ended with 
the present uneasy с Is it true, as 
has been reported, that you believe com 
munism per se had nothing to do with 
China's attack? 

NEHRU: Yes. Chiang hek makes the 
same claims on our territory аз those 
made by the Chinese Communists. 
PLAYBOY: At the time of the Chinese in- 
India's military forces appeared 
to be poorly equipped and inadequately 
armed, a condition for which many 
blamed former Defense Minister V. K 
Krishna Menon. In fact, it has been sug- 
gested that were it not for India’s dispute 
with Pakistan over Kashmir the Indian 
army might scarcely have been m. 
tained at all. What is your attitude tov 
armed forces in general — and as they 
айса India? 
NEHRU: Our army, navy and air force are 
not worth mentioning compared with the 
armadas of other nations. But have these 
countries solved their problems with the 
help of their armed forces? I am of the 
opinion that they have not. We find that 
somehow the methods we adopt to deal 
with evil only result in more evil. We 
have to meet the evil with armed force 
yet in doing so we are ourselves corrupted 
by that evil. Eventually, we develop wh 
may be called the military outlook. While 
there have been great soldiers in the past 


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55 


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yet 
problem of the world. 
at Frenchman once 
us to 


But if it ts too 
serious to be entrusted to the soldier. to 
entrust it to a civilian with a military 
outlook is worse. 

PLAYBOY: In view of what you have just 
id, would you icterize yourself as 
a pacifist? 

NEHRU: | am not а pacifist. Unhappily. 
ihe world of today finds that it cannot do 
ithout force. We have to protect ow 
selves and to prepare ourselves for every 
acy. We have to meeta ion 
ils of other kinds, Bi 


put in resi: 
, we must not allow ourselves t 
ү by our own passions and 


г temp 
ol fri 


other reasons. may be opposed to us. 
is the lesson that our great leader 
ama Gandhi чаш us and. imper 
lraw inspiration from 


that only two 
ely influenced your 
personally. and. Mi- 
ically 
wdhi's thinking most impressed you — 
and your countrymen? 
NEHRU: Mahatma Gandhi. in а sense, burst 
upon the Indian scene. of course, 
K anao adesina sci 
his work in South Africa but he 
functioned on an all-Ind 
red [unctio 


Je His analysis of the situation 
wis essentially that we were 
terribly from fe 
went about telling us. “Do 
Why are you afraid: What Gur happen to 
you?" OF course, when he talked in thes 
terms he was thinking of our. political 
fears. HE we did something that the British 
Government did not Tike, well, weit be 
punished. We'd be sent to prison. We 
might be shot. And so a general sense ol 
fear pervaded the land. Ht would take hold 
of the poorest peasant, the lowliest of all 
our people, whose produce or nearly all 
of it went to his landlord and who hardly 
һай enough food to eat. This poor man 
was kicked and culled by ev 
his landlord. by his tandl 
the police, by the moneylender. 
PLAYBOY: Why was Gandhi so diam 
ally effective in dispelling this sc 
fe: 
NEHRU: Whether there was something 
in the atmosphere or some magic in 
wdhi's voice, I do not know. Anyhow 
simple lesson —" Don't be айай!” 
caught on and we realized, with a t 
mendous lifting of hearts, that there was 


so he just 


id. 


ybody = by 
"ut. by 


d's 


nothing to fear, Even the poor peasant 
straightened his back a litle and began 
to look people in the face and there wasa 
ray of hope in his sunken eyes. Obviously, 
if we had gone to prison for some hy 
misdemeanor with disgrace attached to it, 
ı terribly painful. But 
because we felt we were servin; 
ise, it became not a fate to be 
but something to bc coveted. Many of us 
in India have spent a of our 
lives in trying, though imperfectly, to 
follow the teachings of our great 1 
We were poor мий. Again and 
ave us the strength and the vision to 
chieve our goal. For 30 years or more, 
we took shelter under his shadow and 
under his guidance 

PLAYBOY: А profoundly important part of 
his teachings was. of course, the commit- 
ment to nonviolence. Do you consider 
nonviolence to be an elective tool of 
international lomacy tod: 
NEHRU: The efficacy of nonviolence is not 
rely convincing. None of us would 
dare, in the present state of the world, to 
y with the instruments of organ- 
ized violence. We have, indeed, fallen far 
ht be called the Gandhian 
gh it still i noes us to 
some extent. Anyway, it is nota question 
of ideologies at all: it is a question of 
looking at the world with clear eyes. 
Mahatma Gandhi once spoke warningly 
of the countries of the world looking at 
one another with bloodshot eyes. T try, as 
far as сан. to keep my eyes clear: blood 
d 


п would have бе 


n 


shot eyes bode no clear thinking 
clear action. 

PLAYBOY: In your eloquent and moving 
idhi's as: 


0 


funeral oration following С 
sination in 1948, you said: “The light 
that has illumined this country for these 
many, many wears will illumine this 
country lor mi 
thousand years later, that light will still 
be seen in this country...” While 
Gandhi's memory quite obviously still 
lives, do you feel that his light still shines 
on your country with undiminished 
brilliance? 

NEHRU: Mahatma € 
poet Rabindranath Tagore 
India as she is today, We 
dren in thought — very 
foolish children but their children, never 
theless, Both of them, though vastly dil 
ferent, sprang from the soil and culture of 
India and are rooted in the 10,000-year 
old Indian tradition — both so different 
but both remindit of the innumer- 
ble facets of India. They represented 
the ideal of young India the. ideal 
which 1 had in my young days and which 
possibly many people still have, And yet 
1 find that those two men somehow seem 
very dis now. Though we spexk of 
them very often, we have fallen into dif- 
ferent ways of thinking and tiken to 
other ideals. Instead of that mighty spirit 
of creative effort and faith and hope, 


more years, and a 


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PLAYBOY 


which those men in their own. 
ways represented in the modern 
1 as also other countries, be; 
represent more and more a sp 
denial and destruction. And so, 
aceps into my mind: 
possibly going to be swept 
thing totally beyond our control? 
PLAYBOY: In an effort to maintain a d. 
of control in international affairs, 
has pursued the policy of nona 
You have been quoted as saying tha 
existence of this independent force les- 
sens the danger of war between the two 
major groups. Exactly what can a third 
force do? 

NEHRU: We cannot influence other coun- 
tries by force of aims or pressure or 
moncy. What we can do positively is not 
much. To imagine that we will shake the 
world or fashion international affairs 
according to our thinking is absurd. We 
cannot ultimatums or make de 
mands; nor can we express our views in 
strong language to the world 
because it has little meaning u 
are in а position to do something about 
. It is certainly within our power not to 
do anything or nything which will 
increase. the and the hatred. We 
should not the contest of 
shouting, cursing ing which 
scems to have replaced diplomacy. Wh 
we can help positively, we should help, 
although th. always the risk that our 


a fear 
arc ай our labors 
way by some- 


issu 


attempts may fail. We cannot the 
world on our shoulders and remodel it 
accord to our heart’s desire — but we 


can help in creating а clim 
which is so essential for the re 
our objectives 

PLAYBOY: Was this the philosophy under- 
lying your efforts as peacemaker in the 
power struggles in the Congo. Indochina 
and Kor 
NEHRU: Yes. I have often pointed out that 
our policy is not merely n 
neutral or passive; so far as I 
а very active one. We do not wish to play 
a large part in the affairs of the world. We 
have troubles of our own. But, where our 
voice is sought, it will be given in accord- 
ance with our views and nobody else's, 
regardless of the pressure that is brought 
to bear upon us. 

PLAYBOY: Are there times when candor 
should be muted by diplomatic conside 
tions — or do you believe that honesty is 
always the best foreign policy? 

NEHRU: We naturally like t0 avoid what 
might be called defamatory at 
leading foreign. nations or persona 
You can criticize as much as you like 
cither our policy or any other country's 
policy but vou must always keep in mi 
that the alfairs of the world are in a very 
¢ state and. words, whether oral or 
ws they make a dillerence for 
good or for evil. А word said out of place 
may create a grave situation, and ойе 
docs. In fact, it would be a good th 


te of peace 
lization of 


ad 


think, if most statesmen dealing with 
foreign affairs became quiet for a few 
months. It would be still better if news- 
papers became quiet for a few months, 
too. It would be best of all if everybody 
were quiet for a [ew months. 

PLAYBOY: You have at times been critical 
of the United Nations— for example, 
when that organization branded the Red 
Chinese as aggressors in Korea. What, 
exactly, is your attitude toward the UN? 
NEHRU: I believe 
error and I rebel 
1 organization or idea or country can be 
infallible. So, 1 have ventured, in all 
humility, sometimes to criticize those de- 
velopments at the United Nations which. 
seemed to me to be out of keeping with its 
charter and its past record and profes- 
sions. Nevertheless, I have believed, and 
1 do believe, that the United Nations, in 
spite of its many faults, in spite of it: 
having deviated from its aims some 
what, is а basic and fundamental part 
of the structure of the world today. If 
to be, or if it 
on and nature, 
n there is nothing left which would 
inspire hope for the future. We shall 
have to go through terrible experiences 
id face d n before we return 
to something which offers a forum for all 
nations, dillering as they do [rom one 
another. 

PLAYBOY: Then India's foreign policy i 
cludes firm support of the UN? 
NEHRU: We are a member of the family of 
nations and we have no wish to shirk any 
of the obligations and burdens of that 
membership. We have accepted fully the 
obligations of membership in the United 
Nations and intend to abide by them. 
But that can only be done effectivel 
our own way and of our own choice. Our 
immediate needs are economic better- 
ment and raising the standards of our 
people. The more we succeed in thi 
more we can serve the cause of peace in 
the world. 

PLAYBOY: Do you ever see the UN as a 
forum for debate between the forces of 
evil and the forces of morality? 

NEHRU: We here and elsewhere are apt to 
say that a country is good or bad, as 
though countries were solid blocks which 
arc good or bad. They consist of millions 
of In ngs — ver 
ful human beings. Governments may go 
wrong and more so politicians. But do 


the United Nations cease: 
ad 


ally changes its posi 


decent and peace 


not ever talk of countries and peoples as 
bad. There is a great deal of common 
humanity in all of us, and in all the coun 


wies, although we may differ outwardly 
great deal. Yet we find people, nations 
and statesmen talking in te 

greatest certitude about their being vight 
and about th д some moral 
crusade or other for the benefit of man- 
kind. Some 1 feel that the world 
etter olf if there were fewer of 
these modern crusaders about, Everyone 


ms of the 


wants not only to c 
sade in 


ry on а moral cru- 
environment. but to 
crusade upon another. 


his own 


comes. 
PLAYBOY: In a speech given 


n 1947, on the 
eve of Indian independence, you said. 
“Long years ago we made а tryst with 
destiny, and now comes the time when we 
shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in 
full measure, but very 
How substantial has the redempti 
this pledge been? What is the spi 
and material condition of Indi 
after 16 years of independence? 
NEHRU: Incl ts a very mixed 
picture of hope ish, of remark- 
able advances and at the same time of 
inertia, of a new spirit and also of the 
dead hand of privilege, of an overall and 


ferment in people's minds and act 
Perhaps we who liv the middle of th: 
evercl scene do not always realize 
the full cance of all that is happe 
ing. Often outsiders can make a better 
appraisal of the situation. It is remark- 
able that a country and a people rooted 
in the remote t, who have shown so 
much resistance to change, should now 
be marching forward rapidly, We arc 
making history in India cven though we 
ht not be conscious of it. 

PLAYBOY: In that same 1917 speech you 
specifically led for "the ending of 
poverty and ignorance and disease and 
inequality of opportunity" in India. Are 
you still optimistic about the eventual 
Ц tion of these conditions? 
What tomorrow s. India will be 
like, I cannot say. I can only express my 
hopes and wishes. Naun 
India to advance on the material plane. 
to fulfill her plans. to raisc the standard 
of living of her vast population. I want 
the narrow conflicts of today in the name 
aste, language or province. 
to cease, and a classless and castcless 
society to be built up where every indi- 
vidual has full opportunity to grow 
according to his worth amd ability. ln 
ticular, I hope that the curse of caste 
will be ended, for with it there cannot be 
either democracy or socialism. Tomor- 
row's India will make it by 
today's labors. I have no doubt but that 
India will progress industrially and other- 
wise: that she will advance in science and 
technology: that our people's standards 
will rise; that education will spread; that 
health conditions will be better; and that 
art and culture will enrich people's lives. 
We have started on this pilgrima 
strong purpose and good heart, and we 
shall reach the end of the journey, how 
ever long that might be, But what I 
concer h is not merely our materi: 
progress, but the quality and depth of 
our people. g power through in 


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PLAYBOY 


lose them- 


dustrial processe the 
selves in the quest of individual wealth 
and soft living? That would be a trazedy 
for it would be a negation of what India 
has stood for in the past and, I think, in 
the present time also as exemplified by 
Gandhi. Power is necessary, but wisdom 
is essential. It is only power with wisdom 
that is good. 
PLAYBOY: In point of material progress, it 
has been observed that at the time of the 
Red Chinese attack Tast year, India — 
then entering her third Five Year Plan 
— had а greater growth the 
Chinese. Is it your own be India 
is the [aster growing of the two countries? 
NEHRU: It is not lair to compare India 
h China. I do not mean to imply tl 
we are cleverer than China or that we are 
1 faster. The Chinese are an 
ng people — amazing in the sense of 
y for hard work and for co- 
operative work, I doubt if there are any 
other people quite equal 10 them in this 
respect. But, between us, there is a ve 
big diference, the eflects of which it 
remains for history to show. The dif- 
ference is tl re uying to function 
ic setup. 
Do vou 


E 


PLAYBOY. 


believe that a demo- 
cratic setup. is morally superior to one 
that is communistic? 
NEHRU: It is no good saying that we arc 
better or more virtuous than others. No 
question of virtue is involved in this. Ulti- 
mately, it is a question of. which setup 
nd which structure of government — 
political or economic — pays the highest 
dividends. When E say highest dividends, 
I do not mean merely material dividends, 
although they ате important, but cultural 
and spiritual dividends also. We have 
deliberately chosen a democratic setup 
and we Heel that it is good for our people 
and for our country in the ultimate 
analysis, 
PLAYBOY: Whar do you consider to be the 
major defects of a democratic system? 
NEHRU: Democ 
in tlic pre 
t cri 


y does not like stinting 
ent — not usually. In times of 
it might, Democracy wants 


today the good things of today. That is its 
disadvan ‘Too, with all my admir 


tion and love for democracy, | am not 
prepared to accept the statement that the 
largest 


mber of people 


re always right. 
Now, 1 have litle doubt diat democracy 
is the best of all the various methods 
available to us for the governance of 
beings. It ollers society something 
values, At the same 
are seeing today the emerg 
of democracy in a somewhat uncontrolled 
form. When we think of democracy, we 
normally think of it in the rather limited 
sense of the 19th Century or the 
20th Century use of the ter 
the rem 
now have vast ma 
brought up by the i 
who 


hum: 


of the highest hum 


. 


n 


arc not encourag 


opportunity to think much. They live a 
life which, from the point of view of 
physical comfort, is incomparably better 
than ith пу previous genera- 


is this vast mass of human beings tl 
will ultimately elect those who govern. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think that the judgment 
of the electorate is likely to improve? 

NEHRU: That becomes a little doubtful. I 
think it may be said without olfense — for. 
I belong to that tribe of politicians — that 


outstanding individuals chosen, no doubt, 
but their quality docs deteriorate because 
of this lack of thinking and because of 
the application of modem methods of 
propaganda. AH the noise and din and 
the machinery of advertisement prevent 
men from thinking. They react to it by 


producing a dictator or a dumb politi- 
cian, who is insensitive. who can stand all 
the noise in the world and yet re 


standing on his two feet. He gets elected 
while his rival collapses because he cai 
not stand all this din. It is an extraordi 
nary state of affairs. 

PLAYBOY: The story is told that when the 
first airph паса in Ladakh in 1918, 
the country people ran up with bundles 
of hay to feed it. Apocryphal or no, the 
tale serves to dramatize the sharp wrench 
which technology is giving — and will 
continue to give — to accustomed witys of 
King in India. What is your person 
reaction to modern mechanization? 
NEHRU: 1 admire the machine greatly, But 
it grows and grows and grows till it be 
most human: it bey; 
answers to questions. It becomes 
n, and the human being appears to 
become more a machine. H the 
human mind loses its creative faculty and 
becomes more and more of а n 
then surely that is a tragedy for humanity. 
PLAYBOY: Do you ivel that this sort of 
mechanical perversion can also extend 
ito the realm of sei 
NEHRU: We come up against a certa 
herent conflict in society between the 
coexisting principles of continuity and of 
conservatism and the scientific principle 
of discovery which brings about char 
and challenges (шї continuity, The 
scientific worker, although he is praised 
nd patted on the back, is. nevertheless, 
ot wholly approved of. because he comes 
and upsets the status quo. Normally 
speaking. science seldom really has the 
facilities that it deserves except. when 
some misfortune comes to 
the shape of war. Then everything has to 
be set aside and science has its way, even 
though it is for an evil purpose. 
PLAYBOY: Is the fact that India's pop 
tion pproaching 410,000,000 — 
more people than the combined popu 
ions of South An Africa 


nd mor 


1 country in 


is now i 


Aust tter of > cone 
cem to you and your gover 
NEHRU: It is expected that the world 


population may be anything between 
3,500,000,000 and 5.000.000,000 by the 
end of this century. In India, the cs 
ates vary between 600,000,000 
0.0:0.000 by the year 2000. The f 
of 600.000.000. is the least that we 
expect. provided we сап check the pacc 
of growth to some extent. There are two 
aspects of this growth of population 
one with which we аге most concerned is 
that it comes in the way of our economic 
advance and keeps standards low eve 
tho ight be making progress 
other directions. The other is tl this 
tremendous world growth is cating up 
the world’s resources and industrial 
materials at a terrific pace. Thus two con. 
sequences How: one is that we must check 
the rate of growth of population and the 
other that we must find other power 
sources and materials. Possibly the de- 
velopment of nuclear energy will provide 
us with other sources of power. We in 
India are most concerned with checking 
the growth of population and diis has 
become а matter not only of importance 
but of urgenc 
PLAYBOY: Опе means of raising the stand- 
ard of living of such а vast number of 
people is education — апа one means of 
education is through the existence of a 
vigorous press. Are you in favor of force 
ful governmental control or intervention 
to iı that the news is properly те 
ported by a country's newspapers? 

NEHRU: Very few individuals are compe- 
tent enough to know the facts or form au 
opi about distant occurrences. inde: 
pendently. They arc naturally guided by 
what the press says. Newspapers arc, of 
course, of all kinds. There are respon 
sible newspapers: there are newspapers 
which sometimes responsible: and 
there are some sheets which scem to excel 
only in flights of imagination and other 
cts of i vy. In the old days, it 
was. or at least was thought to bc. the 
function of the government to suppress 
the newspapers that had an evil tendency, 
in the opinion of the government. That. 
of course, is an utterly wrong approach 
because you cannot cure the evil by try 
4 LO suppress it. 

PLAYBOY: As an advocate of freedom of 
the press in theory, do you ever find fault 
with it in prac 
NEHRU: The person who g 
tunity to express himself пома 
person with means. He cin run news 
papers, buy them or stop them, employ 
people who he likes and dismiss people 
who he dislikes. So, it y be that the 
freedom of the press means not so much 
freedom of the writer to write what he 
will, but rather of the owner of 
paper to sce that the writer writes some- 
thing that he wants him to write. T 
freedom of the press may come to me 


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the freedom of persons who have a knack 
of making money and that, after all, is 
not such a noble thing. I think of all 
these difficult nd wonder how we can 
have real freedom of the press — 
n for or 
ind no suppression 
of any real opinion — provided it is not 
indecent or vulgar and provided it is not 
exploited for wrong ends. 
PLAYBOY: Do you believe that newspapers 
influence political opinion to any great 
degree? 

NEHRU: I rather doubt it. They the 
news, of course, but 1 doubt if they have 
ice politically. You have 
countries — democratic 
great number of news 
papers have supported one party while 
another has won the elections. 

PLAYBOY: You yourself, of course, have 
not been exempt from editorial criticism 
cither at home or abroad. What is your 
reaction when, for example, the Indian 
xpress labels your farm cooperative plan 
“economic rubbish.” or when the Ameri 
1 press berates you for your Goa policy? 
NEHRU: I should like to say that I endeavor 
10 consider matters as dispassionately and 
as objectively as possible. I have t 


in othe 
ics — how 


I shall, however 


te the 
ge of complacency and smugness that 


repud 


been leveled ist me and my col- 
leagues. I cannot conceive how any per- 
son charged with responsibility сап he 
complacent today. Complacency comes 
when one’s mind is closed and one 
accepts а dogmatic phrase. Complacency 
a narrowness of outlook. 

PLAYBOY: As a statesman who has had 
consider nce with both news- 
papermen and politicians, how would 
you compare tlie two profession 
NEHRU: To some extent, politicians and 
newspapermen or journalists have much 
in common. Both presume to talk too 
much. to deliver homilies: both, generally 
speaking, require no qu 
for their job. If a poli 
paperman has a certain gilt of expre 
he gets going: whether or not there is 
content behind that expression is totally 
immaterial. Normally a politicia 
newspaperman has few lucid moments. 
because he functions from d to di 
hour to hour, and minute to minute. He 
does not have the time to think. I suppose 
this is an inevitable development of tech- 
improvements and advance- 
ment. We apply the newspaper habit of 
reading to books, with the result that our 
minds sometimes function with brilliance 
but hardly ever with depth. 

PLAYBOY: Which approach is the more 
effective in dealing with your own duties 
—the cerebral or the pragmatic? 

NEHRU: Гат a humble seeker after truth, 
one who has continuously struggled to 
find the way, not always with success, to 
fit action to the objectives and ideals that 


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he had held. The process is always diffi- 
cult. Politicians have to deal with day-to. 
day problems, and. they seck immediate 
remedies. Philosophers think of ultimate 
objectives. and are apt to lose touch with 
the day-to-day world amd its problems 
Neither approach appears to be adeg 
by itself. 

PLAYBOY: Do you therefore consider ideal 
ism to be unrealistic? 

NEHRU: Idea is the realism of tomor 
row. It is the с у to know what is 
good for the day after tomorow, or lor 
the next year, and to fashion vyoursell 
accordingly. The practical р 
realist, looks at the tip of his nose and 
sees little beyond: the result is that he is 
stumbling all the time 

PLAYBOY: As the leader of one of the 
world’s most religious peoples, how would 
vou assess the impact of religion upon 
nation’s social progress? 
NEHRU: We have had great reli 
they have had an enormous eflect on 
humanity. Yet, if I may say so with all 
respect and without meaning any ill to 
any person, those very religions. in th: 
measure that they made the mind of man 
static, dogmatic and bigoted. have had. 10 
my mind. an evil effect. The lessons they 
taught may be good but when it is 
claimed that the last word has been said 
society becomes static. Almost every coun 
1 the world believes chat it 
| dispens: 
that it is of the chosen people or race and 
that others. whether they are good or bad 
somewhat inferior creatures, 
PLAYBOY: What efect has such thinking 
had on the countries of Asi 
NEHRU: The nations of the East are 
strongly entrenched in their own ideas 
and convictions and sometimes in their 
own sense of superiority about. certain 
пашет». Anyhow, in the course of the list 
two- or three-hundred years. they have 
received many knocks on the head 
they have been humiliated, debased and 
exploited. And so. in spite of their [ecl 
ing that they were superior in many wavs 
they were forced to admit that they could 
be exploited. To some extent. this 
brought a sense of realism to the There 
was also an attempt to escape from reality 
by saving that it was sad that we were not 
ced in mate 


че 


son. the 


some 


n from Providence 


id technical 
but that these were after all super 
ficial: nevertheless. we were superior in 
essential things, in spiritual and moi 
values. E have no doubt that spiritual and 
moral valu rc ultimately more im 
portant. but this method of finding escape 
in the thought that one is spiritually 
superior. simply because one is inferior 
material and physical sense, is sur 
It does not follow by any means. 
is an escape from faci 
causes of one's. degradation 
PLAYBOY: Such reservations notwithstand 
ins, vou have been quoted as believing 
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outlook to internatio rs. Would 
you amplify this thought? 

NEHRU: In this torn and distorted world, 
1 am a very confused person. 1 often 
stumble. I try to search for what i 
ing in me and to find out what is w: 
of me by my country and my people. The 
message of the Buddha may well help to 
solve the problems of our troubled and 
tormented world. I often feel u 
haps, if we think more of that b: 
ag of the 
violence, we may be nearer the solution 
ol our problems. 

Looking back on a lifetime of 
ed service to your country and 
considering the international recognition 
and respect that this service has brought 
t do you feel to be your single 
greatest honor? 

NEHRU: The affection that has been lav- 
shed upon me by the people of my 
country is the greatest honor tha 
come to anybody. It is overwhelmin; 
s me feel very humble. 
PLAYBOY: If you were given your life to 
live over п, would you try to effect 
any major changes? 
NEHRU: | would endea 
many ways what I h 
but my major decisions in public allairs 
would remain untouched. Indeed, I could 
y them, for they were stronge: 
n myself, and a force beyond my con- 
trol drove me to them. 

PLAYEOY: heavy «clock 
work schedule, and. your apparent aver- 
sion to v ns have become lost. 
legendary in New Delhi. Do you ever rely 
on pills as а source of energy? 
NEHRU: No. 1 am a very bad product of 
the pharmaceutical age because | have 
hardly ever taken any medicine, pills or 


avor to improve in 
d previously done, 


Your round-the 


drugs. 
PLAYBOY: As a lifelong student of history, 
nd the author of such historical works 


as Glimpses of W orld History and The 
Discovery of India, would you give us a 
capsule summation of how you view the 
historical process? 

NEHRU: Men ol law 


y down constitu- 
but history is really made by great 
minds, large hearts and stout arms; by 
the sweat, tears, and toil of a people. A 
country's real strength Ties in the capacity 
of her people for disciplined work, It 
does not really matter very much whether 
you remember the names of kings or not, 
but it is important. that you remember 
the achievements of a 


m 


PLAYBOY: The Indian writer Santha Ram: 
Rau, in summarizing your achievements 
has described you as а statesman who is 


the initiator of revolutio: s that 
have affected. most of Asia and a great 
part of Africa, a figure who has left hi 
mark on the world and his name in his- 
tory.” With so much plished, what 
now is your major a 
NEHRU: Many ye 


writings of George Bernard Shaw a pas 
sage that moved me and found an апу 
nd and heart. He wrote: 
е joy in life. the being 
used for a purpose recognized by vours: 
as a mighty one: the being 
worn out before you are thrown on the 
scrap heap: the being a force of Nature 
instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of 
ailments and gr compl. 
that the world will not devote itself to 
you happy.” The only ambition 1 
€ is that, to the end of my d 
should work my hardest, and then, when 
I have done my job, that 1 should be 
thrown on the scr I have 
done my job. there is no need to bother 
about me further. 

PLAYBOY: Reviewing the history of your 
own lifetime, what trend — cither moral 
ог materialistic— discourages you. most? 


vances, 


NEHRU: The опе very grave and dishear 
Feature of the present day is а 
all in mental and mo 


п all countries. People hı 
because of the process of d 
somewhat nd hyste 
quite unable to judge anything 


neurotic 


morc 


brutal in thought, speech, and action. 
The hı 
conside 


п 10 have suffered 
plenty of human 
m not saying that 
completely de- 


valucs sc 


ibly. Of cours 
І 


till remain 
everything worthwl 


€ 


stroyed, but I do зау that the process of 
coarsening is going on apace all over the 
world, including my own country. I have 


ic remedies for the world’s ills oi 
our own. The only remedy is t0 tv 10 
understand the disease. 

PLAYBOY: Will a cure ever be fou 
the disease? 

NEHRU: Obviously it will be impossible 


id der 


for me and impossible for you to func 
tion adcquately if we do not blieve in 
the ultimate triumph of erative and u 
fying processes of the day. If vou ali 
yourself to some great purpose or to some- 
thing elemental, it ennobles you. Whether 
rd comes or not. the mere fact of 


back on the long perspective 
ma of history, one sees р 
iced. the world, a 
ht d 
mes, the most crit 


d pan 
iods when 
wd. people 
ı ime was 


the worst of all т 
the most dangerous. And. yet the world 
survived. Faith 4 
survive. It is good 10 
PLAYBOY: Then 
despite the virtually endless dangers and 
diliculties that plague our era, you still 
view the future. with a considerable de- 
gree of optimism? 

NEHRU: Yes. 1 have little doubt that in 
spite of the dangers that beset the world 
today, the forces of constructive aud ¢ 
ve effort for human. betterment 
succeed and the spirit of man, which 
has survived so much, will triumph again. 


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THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy” 


EINSTEIN ON GOD 
Could you tell me what Albert Ein- 
stein’s concept of God was? What were 
his beliefs concerning religion? 
Elizabeth "Thorpe 
Gatlinburg, Tennessee 
In an essay called “The World As T 
See Il,’ Einstein wrote: "I cannot con- 
ceive of a God who rewards and punishes 
his creatures or has a will of the kind 
that we experience in ourselves. Neither 
can 1 nor would I want to conceive of an 
individual ihat survives his physical 
death; let feeble souls from fear or ab- 
surd egoism cherish such thoughts.” 
In another work, he expressed the be- 
lief that any doctrine, such as that of 


divine causation, which cannot be scien- 
lifically proven, "will of necessity lose 
its effect on mankind with incalculable 
harm to human progress.” He also wrote: 
“Teachers of religion should have the 
stature to give up the doctrine of а per- 
sonal God . that source of fear and 
hope which in the past placed such vast 
power in the hands of the priest 

For Einstein, religious feeling look the 
form of “rapturous amazement at the 


harmony of natural law.” 


FROM THE PULPIT 
1t is with great pleasure and anticipa- 

tion that [ have read your nine install- 
ments of The Playboy Philosophy. 
Your analysis and assessment of the “con- 
temporary man” is superb! Perhaps I 
say superb, because what you are re- 
vealing is precisely what I have been con 
tending from the pulpit for some time; 
with on ion — I feel compelled 
to use а slightly more subtle vocabulary 
As a clergyman and devotee of your 
magazine, | wholeheartedly approve of 
your good work — keep it up! 

Robert S. Burt, Minister 

The Second Congregational Church 

Ashtabula, Ohio 


PROPERTY RIGHTS 

Hes а litle laughable to read in your 
June Philosophy: “H government em- 
ployees were to come into [people's] 
homes and start slicing off parts of the 
chairs... the 


would have no doubt 
that what was happening was . . . not 
relatively or debatably, but absolutely 
" Ever since the passage of the 
16th Constitutional Amendment [Fed- 
eral Income Tax] the government. has 
indeed been slicing olf parts of the 


wrong 


people's property . . . and the more 
property one has, the more is sliced off 
something that is not “equal rights for 
all under the law." Where does Justice 
Black stand on this simple violation of 
equal rights and property rights? 
Carroll Willis 
Wichita, Kansas 
Justice Black has upheld, in а number 
of opinions, the government's right to 
maintain escalated tax structures. As for 
property rights, Justice Black said, in а 
1916 opinion, "When we balance the 
constitutional rights of owners of prop- 
erty against those of the people to enjoy 
frecdom of press and religion . . . the 
latter occupy a preferred position.” He 
has been described as one who “accords 
10 government the widest latitude 
when it appears to be working in the 
interest of the little man.” 


NEW SEXUAL CODE 

If the unrealistic and regularly dis 
carded code that pertains to sex is jet 
tisoned, then some other code should 
replace it— the low estate of human де 
cency being what it is. 1 have confidence 
in Mr. Hefner's sincerity of purpose, and 
I think he will not leave us rudderless in 
a dullasdishwater sea of promiscuous 
sex. I am sure that in a subsequent 
Philosophy installment he will suggest 
a new code. 1 hereby appoint myself 
protagonist for the female contingent. 1 
propose two items: 

1. Prostitution should be designated 
as a respectable Is 
should be urged to take it up at an carly 
age. This would give them a broad (no 
pun intended) experience necessary for 
sex adjustment to marriage; obviate the 
clandestine make them 
financially independent. of the deadly 
ollice job. the unsuitable marriage, and 
the inconstant and/or unsuccessful hus 
band; and freeze out the cheapskates 
who are always trying to get sex for 
nothing 

2. Since the female's chances at the 
good things of life are commensurate 
with her attractiveness to men. girls out- 
side the profession should hold out for 
the highest bidder. A really gorgeous 
ıl should. not have to lend her “stock 
in trade" for a hot dog and a Coke. 

I these proposals were generally sub- 
scribed to, they would serve to pair off 
blokes with blokes and tolls with toffs, 
nd eventually establish a true 


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PLAYBOY 


70 


nd good looks, leaving 
aglies to 
own kind 


cy of brains 
the punks and flops and plu! 
do their fornicating with the 
the bottom of the heap. 
Mrs. Joseph Lautner 
Harvey, Illinois 
We have a somewhat more humanistic 
code in mind —one that frees woman- 
kind from the idea thal sex must forever 
be, for her, an impersonal commodity 
to be bartered or sold. Hefner intends 
spelling it out in detail in future install- 
ments of “The Playboy Philosophy. 


FREEDOM FROM RELIGION 

This letter has been brewing for some 
time, and the newly rated Playboy 
Forum scems a good place for it, There 
scems to be considerable response to 
your statement that “no nation сап be 
aid to have true religious freedom u 
less it possesses not only freedom of. but 
so freedom from religion." However. a 
distinction between religion and reli- 
gions seems worth the making. There is 
simply no such thing as freedom from 
religion, if religion is understood to re- 
fer to man’s depth response to what he 
considers to be most. important and/or 
most real, or some such definition of 
that well of experience Irom which 
springs man's "religions." In this sense, 
cligion is normally ble. Hel- 
ner's point remains the same and valid: 
such religion cannot be legiskited. 
If religion in Hefner's 
ken to mean organized bodi 
lief or practi ns, the point 
would seem obvious. This, I take it, was 
neither the point nor the issue. The 
confusion arises over the distinction be- 
tween freedom, as lack of legal coercion, 

nd freedom as total absence of anything 
to be coerced about. We ought to, in- 
¢ freedom from religion, in the 


nau; 


navoid 


ave preferred to define it, and а 
am sure Mr. Hefn ans it. is between 
oneself and whatever God or gods one 
recognizes. In this sense, it cannot be 
coerced. Only the outward show of it 
can be so manipulated. Mr. Hefner's 
point is, I believe, that even this ought 
not to be legislated. To this. 1 would 
ld a hearty "Amen." But this, in effect, 
ot freedom from, but freedom for 
ligion. 

That not avoid religion is 
amply demonstrated by The Playboy 
Philosophy. Though it has evolved into 
many things through these past delicious 
ues, at its very heart it contains an 
napologetic doctrine of Man that is 
thoroughly religious; whether or not it 
be accepted by the “recognized” re 
gions as vali 

Michael Young 
Newton Centre, Massachusetts 

H is religious coercion that is referred 
to, bul Hefner has made the often ove 
looked point that true religious freedom, 


is 


man 


to which our nation is dedicated, comes 
in two distinct parts: freedom of and 
[rom religion. (And your “freedom for 
religion" is more a matter of the former 
than the latter.) “Freedom of” assures 
us that our government will not inter- 
fere with our religion; “freedom from” 
guarantees us that our religion will not 
interfere with our government. In order 
to have a true separation of church and 
slate, we must have both kinds of free- 
dom. At present we have only freedom 
of religion (relatively speaking); we do 
not have freedom from it. Examples of 
religion's involvement in government in- 
clude our so-called Blue Laws, and the 
statutes concerning sex behavior, divorce, 
birth control, abortion, censorship, ete. 
in many of our states, as well as a cer 
tain number of the local executive and 
judicial decisions related to these same 
subjects. A recent. example close to 
home: the arrest of Editor-Publisher 
Hefner on charges of obscenity by the 
City of Chicago. (See “The Playboy Phi- 
losophy” this month and next.) 


FREE ENTERPRISE 

Please correct me if I am wrong but 
here is what 1 believe to be your point of 
view: You believe in complete freedom 
of individuals and enterprises. You be- 


n a democratic framework. You be- 
unrestricted competition within 
the [тес enterprise system. You sincerely 
believe in the freedom of exploi 
of one individual by another individual 
or group of individuals and vice versa 
Maurice Hebert 
Quebec. Quebec 
We believe in freedom for individuals 
and enterprise up to the point where 
it impinges on someone else's freedom. 
And that, of course, means an abhor- 
rence of exploitation, which 10 us con- 
stitutes an abrogation of some facet of 
human rights and dignity. We believe 
that a capitalistic economy under a 
democracy best preserves the rights of 
the individual. 


WOMAN IN A MAN'S WORLD 

My husband and I rare 
letters of any kind. We ar 
ers in the busy missile industry 
Southern California. We consider our- 
selves literate and intelligent although 
most of our reading and study involves 
rocket propulsion and inertial g се. 
However. the recent Playboy Philosophy 
series has been so refreshing that, аз both 
а vote of confidence and rance 
that we won't miss any future issues, I 
have enclosed a check for a subscription 
to your fine ma 

The distressing 
behavior and conversation of people and 
the written and televised pictures of the 
same has long been a source of grief to 
me. As local chairman of the Society of 


write fan 
both е 


between the 


Women Engineers, I have been active 
in the fight to show the teenage girl of 
today the true economic picture of the 
world she will enter in time for her to 
prepare herself by education. But any 
desire for equal economic and legal 
rights must carry with it a willingness 
iccept equal responsibility for be- 
ior and mature attitude toward. 
ex. A girl can't work along with men 
as a profession doctor. lawyer or engi 
псет and faint at the sound of a four- 
letter word. We've learned this but have 
rarely seen such honest and frank dis- 
cussion in print attacking some of the 
outmoded ideas. 

Judith С. Siegel 

Manhattan Beach, 


California 


BIBLE BELT 

The Playboy Philosophy in the July 
issue will undoubtedly have a profound 
effect on the minds of many men, as it 
mi I should like to throw in two 
quotations of a religious nature which 
should be reckoned with in any consid- 
eration of premarital and extramarital 
st, from the Ten Commandments. 
Sec- 
ions: 


of life and that they may enter the city 
by the Outside are the dogs and 
sorcerers and fornicators and murderers 
and idolaters, and every one who loves 
and practices falsehood.” Enough said 
G. J. Kral 
Cincinnati, Ohio 


THE HUMANIST VIEW 
The Humanist Pre: 
New York, an educati 


tional society based on logic, re: 
the scientific method, wishes to com- 
mend and congratulate Mr. Hefner for 
his series, The Playboy Philosophy- We 
believe that the opinions expressed in 
d s are in pei d with our 
basic purposes. and we a teful that 
the realistic approach to lile we both 
favor is receiving nationwide circulation 
through your т 


fect acci 


Among the ideas Mr. Hefner 


pre- 


with alified espousal of the 
absolute separation of church and state. 
An objective study of hi 
shows that im most cases 
church and state has had deleterious 
effects on both parties involved and. in 
Idition, generally resulted in the ord 
people's having been burdened by 
ап oppressive tyranny. We also admire 
his logically cor ion of the 
st Апи freedom of 
freedom {тот 


As we come from New York State, we 
cannot help but agree with him on the 


irrationality of the divorce laws of some 
states. It is a sheer act of hypocrisy when 
the Governor of New York must obtain 
a divorce in Neva 
lift so much аз 
own state's divorce laws. 

In the matter of sex, we strongly agree 
with Mr, Hefner on the backwardness of 
our professed 1963 sexual mores, with 
their double standard, when considered 
dispassionately in the light of the find- 
ings of modern psychology. The Chris- 
tian vilification of the flesh as evil is a 
barmful concept which causes untold 
sullering to millions. Unfortunately, the 
whole ficld of sexual conduct is governed 
more by emotionalism than by rational- 
ity. This emotionalism was obyiously the 
cause of the firing from the University 
of Illinois of Professor Leo Koch, whose 
case you eloquently related in the Phi- 
losophy. 

Its stand in favor of free speech and 
lysis of the types of persons who 
would suppress free speech in order to 
protect us from what they consider harm- 
ful was admirable. The anti-obscenity 
ment in this country was given 


turbed Anthony Comstock, and it is clear 
that some of his presentday followers 
are likewise disturbed. 

By the clear, frank, and unambiguous 
discussion of some of the most controver- 
al issues of the day the deleterious 
effects of religion and the wholesomeness 
of sex — Mr. Hefner is doing our society 
a great service. 
that 


have pre Y 
boo for public discussion and treating 
them honestly and т ly in the 


pages of a prominent, nationally circu- 
lated magazine. Knowledge by the elec 
torate, not ignorance, is the prerequisite 
for a successful democracy. May you con 


tinue for a long time to we 


for a “sane 

society” through the pages of pLaynoy. 
Marvin Feldman, President 

The Humanist Press Association 

of New York 

New York, New York 


CHILD PSYCHOLOGY 

Both my husband and I have enjoyed 
reading your magazine for several 
In the past, my only objection had been 
that, although I found it highly enter- 
taining, it seemed to be edited with 
the perpetual adolescent in mind. Since 
you've begun The Playboy Philosophy, 
I've changed my mind considerably. On 
most counts, covered thus far in your 
thoughtful editorial series, I couldn't 
agree with vou more. 

In the July issue you brought up one 
of my pet peeves — the people who "pro- 
аса” their children by hiding rrAvsov. 
1 have three small sons who look 
through every book and magazine 
brought into the house. I have never 
cven considered stopping them. Once, 


'cars. 


Brubeck 
plays 
Bogen 


The message is clear. BOGEN 
satisfies the critical require- 
ments of Dave Brubeck, 
giant in contemporary music, with the 
RP60 FM/AM and FM-Stereo Receiver 
and B61 Turntable. Why? In a word, per- 
formance . . . as near to live as possible. 
"The quality sound of the RP60 will as- 
tound you with clear, clean high tones 
and honest, mellow bass tones. And the 


at home 


"silent partner" perform- 
ance of the B61 Turntable 
tracks as low as М gram, 
takes special care of your records. Here 
is a pair of components to be proud of, 
and played often. Play Brubeck on BOGEN 
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receivers and amplifiers) begin at $99.95; 
turntables at $49.90. Write for free 
Stereo/High Fidelity Catalog. 


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PLAYBOY 


72 


He told mc it was somcone's mother 
getting ready to take a bath. For this, I 
should lock up the magazine? Мех 
thing, PH have to lock up the bathtub. 
Jane Heller 
Minneapolis, Minnesota 


PURITANISM 
Among the many evidences of reviving 


puritanism uch phenom- 
ena as the John Birch Society, militant 
(that is to say, i t) evangelism, 
the censorship ol books, plays and films 


d the election of a reactiona 
is w State Superintendent 
of Education. These events mock us, if 
we pretend to champion freedom, be- 
cause the world's most militant Puritans. 
are the Communists. who banish joy and 
join hatred. (Conversely, one might 
que that the most impressive economic, 
industrial and social progress now taking 


y bigot 


place is being nurtured in this planet's 
least puritanical society: Western. Eu- 
rope.) 

In the March issue of PLavnoy, you 


comment on Prohibition. Good eating ac- 
companies civilized drinking and 1 hav 
often observed that the worst food i 
the United States is served in the “dry 
strongholds of p nd abst 
ence. These too are the fortresses of re- 
and оке include 


hey 


larger cities. Those American cities 
which harbor large populations of Lati 
descent, such as New York, San Fi 
cisco and. New Orleans, simply 
drink beuer dan do Houston, Okla- 
1 Rapi 


ls. 


ad drink? 
William Richards 


Garden Grove, California 


The Playboy Philosophy expounded 
in the March edition was the first of ul 
series that I have read. My studies at 
the City College of New York and at 
Hunter College provided an interest for 
me in jurisprudence and legisla 
ity in our society and this in combina- 
tion with my being of the Jewish faith 
caused me to be scriously concerned with 
your article. 
ог years New York. like mar 
states, has imposed the 
day. Jews, who celebrate the Sabba 
Saturday (many close their businesses) 
are nevertheless restricted. in busine: 
operation and personal conduct by the 
Sunday Blue Laws. Religious prayers 
were forced upon those who were not 
religiously oriented in our elementary 
school system and students who did not 
participate were often subjected to cruel 


ive mo- 


other 


taunts by their peers. In San Antonio, 
weekly polls were taken in public class- 
rooms to find out which students had at- 
tended Sunday school classes at the local 
churches and which had not. Those with 
the best attendance wi ded with 
prizes, while those whose 
nonexiste € rewarded with jecrs, 
m- 
posed sectarianism does not befit our 
democratically oriented system of (тсе 
dom for the individual. It is not worthy 
of the ideals of our founding fathers or 
of our Constitution. 

It may be noted that the Islamic policy 
of spreading "the faith" by force gave 
way to the philosophy of "the pen is 
mightier than the sword.” It is of para- 
mount importance that the pens of the 
legislatures and judiciaries do not be- 
come a Damoclean sword of religious 
morality swinging over our heads in an 
© of threatened encroachment of our 
heritage of freedom of choice and indi- 
viduality. 


[E 


often from the teacher. This type of 


Richard Levinson 
New York, New York 


ANN LANDERS AND THE DIGEST 

Now 1 am darn mad at you — mad 
to write my first leuer to an 
or. The eighth part of the Philos- 
ophy did it. Either you have inadvert- 


ently forsaken your major premise 
п, first and foremost, 
nd in ht to be 


an individual"), or you believe it docs 
not apply to Margaret. Banning [author 
ol The Reader's Digest article, The Case 
Jor Chastity] and Ann Landers. Is it be- 
cause they are old and dried up, or are 
you intolerant of intolerance? И you are 
going to preach, you are responsible to 
your audience for practicing what you 
preach. 


Jean Brawn 

Princeton, Massachusetts 
When Editor-Publisher Hugh Hefner 
criticizes various aspects of aur society, 
as he has been doing throughout all 
eleven. installments of “The Playboy 
Philosophy,” he is displaying neither in- 
lolerance nor any lack of respect for the 
individual — he is simply expressing an- 
other point of view —viavnoy's. We 
haven't questioned the right of either 
the Digest or Miss Landers to hold any 
particular set of beliefs that suit them, 
or to try and convince others of the 
soundness of their beliefs. It happens, in 
Ihis case, that we disagree with them, 
and Hefner has tied — through persua- 
sive argument and logic — 10. convince 
readers that the aititude on sex expressed 
in Ann Landey's column and The Read- 
er's Digest article, “The Case for Chas- 
lity,” is wrong, and that our own posi- 

lion makes more sense. 


I st take issue with your treatment 
of Ann Landers and The Reader's Digest 


in the July segment of Philosophy. 1 
can't help but feel that you аге dem 
ing yourself by g and adapting 
the en apons. I confess that 1 
haven't read more than a half-dozen or 
so of Ann Lander's columns, but I must 
defend her right to express her view- 
point, whether actual or commercial, and 
Vm sure its influence on 0 segment of 
our youth that is already "spoiled" is 
beneficial. At least until they are ma 
: enough to pull themselves up by 
mental bootstraps from the m 
of induced ignorance, repression and 
hypocrisy. 

As for The Reader's Digest, you h 
wounded my pride by relegating me to 
the “impressionable middle class,” since 
I have held the Digest in very high re 
gard for at least twice as many years 
you have been in print — primarily for 
the same merits I find in rravsov. (I'm 
not referring to content) In point of 
fact, The Reader's Digest has striven to 
include articles on both sides of every 
controversial subject that has come be- 
fore the public, including the “Kinsey 
Report,” birth control, the evolution of 
religions, capital punishment and many 
others. 

1 have read and enjoyed rravsov. fc 
a numbe s and felt a kindred 
spirit with your staff and contributors 
(Um also a Playboy Club keyholde: 
have followed the Philosophy wi 
terest and general agreement 
begin to sce signs of the insidi 
case of intolerance. that you. profess to 
be combating. Its easy to fall into the 
trap, but you especially must adr 
a bigot cannot fight bigotry, а hypo- 
crite — hypocrisy, etc. 1 do think you 
could come closer to practicing what vou 
preach. Don't you? 


e 


of vea 


I will have to admit that T can't 
stay angry very long when you also 
include, in the same issue, The Pla 


boy Panel: 
tidbits like 
Playmate 


“1984 and Beyond," litle 
Letitia and, of course, the 


Paul E. Roftis 
Guantánamo Bay, Cuba 
Much of Ann Lander's advice is sound 
enough — our principal атса of disagre: 
ment seems to be sex. But even. if we 
agreed with nothing she says, we would 
also defend her right to express her 
viewpoint. On the suggestion that the 
“Philosophy” comment те Miss Landers 
and the Digest was intolerant, please 
note the reply to the lelter above; on the 
Digest’s willingness to publish articles 
giving both sides of controversial sub- 
jects. note the letter that follows 


Enclosed find a letter sent to me from 
the editors of Reader's Digest. 1 think 
the readers of pLaysoy will find it most 
interesting, because it is directly related 
to Mr. Hefners comments in the July 


installment of his Philosophy. 


Dear Mr. Friedman: — КЖК ы аел ү, 
Thank you for suggesting that Re cooper 
ihe дел Destin “е Austrian tradition of meerschaum pipe- 

The Nader's Diget print som making. Over 100 years old! (Smithsonian 

in the way of an opposing statement Institution, Washington, D. С) Heirloom 


to The Case for Chastity, and rec- 
ommending specifically the chapter 
on premarital sex relations from 
ш. 


or ordinary brair, any pipe tastes better 
with India House 


would publish any 
turc, for it would be out of keeping 
with the ge acter of the 
magazine. Some students of human 
problems advocate sex freedom, y 
but many do not — and it runs coun 
ter to the rules of our society. Im- 
plicit in Digest requirements is sup- 
port of behavior in basic conformity 
with the codes of our society's insti 
tutions. 

We appreciate your making the 
suggestion in any event 

The Editors 


AROMATIC 
The Reader's Digest 


“<< | INDIA HOUSE 
T would be most pleased if Mr. Hefner 


could read this letter and make comment, 
especially on the last sentence, in а fu- 


3 A 3 j , 
Eois nt of The Playboy Philoso. makes any pipe taste better! 


eral cha 


GUIDE MEER ESE " 


An exclusive blend of choice Burleys and Brights, with a flavor accent 
from the Orient, [India House produces cxtra-rich flavor and aroma! 
For а new smoking experience, try this premium mixture...a few 
RELIGIOUS. DISCUSSION GROUP cents more, and worth it. 

1 believe you have some new sub. 
scribers and devotces, built around. The 
Playboy Philosophy, which as a result of 
our study course held the interest of 
some 20 women — once a week [or six 
w nd which course l've been asked 
10 repeat this fall. The articles have 
been cogent, provocative, and stimulated 
much discussion. In fact some of these 
women enjoyed the first brain-stretching 
experience in many a year — for which 1 
thank Mr. Hefner with whom I willingly 
share the credit 

I suppose you've had access to the 
Presbyterian Church’s “pronouncement” 
on matters pertaining to church-state re- 
lations, as a result of a two-year study of 
the matter and the voting at the General 
Assembly in Des Moines, in mid-May. 
Ou matters of opinion such as these — 
that there should be no prayers or Bible 
reading in public schools, no use of 
school or other public property for spe- 
cifically religious services, no special 
prerogatives or price deductions for min- 
isters, no tax-free status for churches, no 
state establishment. of religion of any 
kind — in these regards it seems to me 
that Mr. Hefner lines up as a “good 
Presbyterian.” 

Our religions seem to be makin 
progress in the direction of а needed | 28 
liberalism and a return 1o the funds. | What a mad vest. Blazing red. 
mentals of religious life — mutual respect, | For my mad, mad girl. Made by PBM. 
But | have my quiet moods. 
Fine—it reverses to herringbone. 


Irwin Friedman 
Coral Gables, Floi 


63 P. Lorillard Co. 
Pincus Brothers-Maswcll. 1290 Avenue о! the Americas. New York 


FEM 


acceptance and brotherly love. This w 


73 


PLAYBOY 


14 


Any top — including yours — is better 
looking with Asher's Slacks. This 
clean-cut model comes in a hounds- 
tooth check, Fall's *in" pattern. 

Free! For copy of “How to Build a Wardrobe On 
Asher Slacks" and name of your Asher store, 
write: The Asher Co.,Dept.P10 Fitchburg, Mass. 


the spirit which I wied to foster in the 
course of the discussions at the Y.W.C.A 
mong a group of women who repre- 
sented a real cross section of socie 
religious beliefs, [rom a claimed athe 
through Roman Catholicism and Ju- 
daism to orthodox Protestantism. 

Mr. Hefners Philosophy provided an 
optimum medium and guide for gening 
at some significant issues of our cultu 
— which has its crisis points. Ot 
several assignments in the course was to 
write a letter to PLAYuoy: some of the 
ladies have written directly, but а num- 
ber have asked me to send theirs with 
my own, so they are enclosed. Another 
of the assignments was to write the 
own current "philosophy of life” — which 
proved most demanding and satisfy 
to them — as I'm sure it must be to М 
Hefner in his ongoing series. 

I must tell you that Г personally enjoy 
PLAYnOY, for it keeps me not only "prop- 
erly human,” for all the vestments, but 
pened in a sense of humor and an 
ation of the things of value from 
d of the young in heart. 

Ch in, Jr-, Minister 
First Presbyterian Church 
West Chester, Pennsylvania 


of the 


the wo 


I have enjoyed the discussion on Mr. 


the leadership of Rev. Christia ип, 
— the Philosophy is food for thou 
nd very challenging. It is an eye 
souLopener and stimulating at times. 
But for me it was also often upsetting 
and confusing. It made me feel uncom- 
fortable. It seems to create problems, 
which it does not help to solve. 
Mrs. Edith H. Parker 
Paoli, Pennsylvan 
Editor-Publisher Hefner will suggest 
some solutions in future installments of 
“The Playboy Philosophy,” but in the 
final analysis, each of us must find his 
own answers to the complex problems 
our society presents. Feeling "uncom- 
fortable,” "upset" and "con[uscd" may 
well be the first step toward the acquisi- 
tion of new insight and knowledge. 


and 


It appears that Mr. Hefner is objecting 
to the bigotry and hypocrisy many of us 
possess and project in our daily living. 
His points are well taken in critique, but 
I find no solid guide nor conclusion to 
his discussion, save one of acceptance of 
all things with openmindedness, Per- 
haps this is his purpe: 

Lorna С. 

West Ch 


Nor 
ter, Pennsylvania 


ny of Mr. Hefner's general 
statements about the social and economic 
today, I agree. By and 
ve become a mation of sheep. 
the voice of dissent lies the key to the 
ity of a mation. However, 1 think 
PLAYHOY creates a cult of its own — per- 


haps that of the "cool cat." I admit that 
in matters of sex, America has been too 
д but beauty in a 
re. but your use of it in 
poor taste. Your use of wom- 
п in PLAYBOY rele 's them to about 
the same position as a sports car or h 
Ruth M. Trumble 
West Chester, Pennsylvania 

Tt is our intention to “relegate” women 
to the role of women in our sociely—a 
complementing counterpart to men, 
rather than competitive, asexual crea- 
tures, uncertain of their role in society 
and in unhappy conflict with their 
nature and their needs. 

What we oppose is that aspect of our 
sociely’s heritage that — for centuries — 
alternately treated women as property, 
or placed them on pedestals. At either ex- 
treme, they ате robbed of the opportunity 
to be truly human — to be truly women. 


The physical quality of your magazine 
is the finest money can buy, the finished 
product an excellent job. From an edi 
torial standpoin to be 
desired. The over-all concept expressed 
in The Playboy Philosophy is very com- 
dable зіму a step in the 
ight 
But I find some aspects of the content 
and intent of the magazine and the 
Philosophy to be inconsistent. Namely 
LAYBOY endorses beauty, frecdom, grace, 
bundance, erc, which is a wonderful 
nd right philosophy. Most ce 
if anything perfect is a thing of beauty 
then it must follow that womanhood, 
which is a thing of beauty and grace in 
its highest and truest sense, should never 
be lowered to a mere plaything or instru- 
ment for the satisfying of the animal 
traits of mankind. 
Mis. Margaret O. Hughes 
West Chester, Pennsylvania 
We don't consider women merely play- 
things, but why do you feel а woman is 
lowering herself when she brings pleas- 
ure and satisfaction to а man? Ther 
should lie the source for much of her 
own pleasure and satisfaction. 


it leaves nothi 


A reading of The Playboy Philosophy 
makes one appreciate the n ng proc- 
ess of outgrowing the chase and settling 
nto the rewarding scarch for me: 
Your magazine makes me feel so 
antly old! 


adi- 


Ruth О. Humphrey 
Coatesville, Pennsylvania 


After thoughtfully т 
boy Philosophy, Vve 
conclusion that it is a contradictory mas 
terpicce. The playboy is painted as a 
very desirable man-abouttown, who is 
a business success, and a connoisseur of 
the fine things in life. However, you 
describe only two facets of man's being 
—his mind and body; neglecting the 


ading The Play- 


come to thc 


third, his soul, which is hu 
d, his creator. "This m: 
centered. being of. yours is 
of any man, past and present, living in a 
decadent society. Take a look at the his- 
tory of Creece and. Rome. 

I- WE 

West Chester, Pennsylvania 

We've taken а look at ancient Greece 

and Rome, and we must say that if our 
own civilization contributes as much to 
the culture, art, government and philos- 
ophy of a generation 2000 years hence, 
we will be greatly surprised. 


MINORITIES 

Reading your excellent editorial by 
Hugh M. Hefner, The Playboy Philos- 
opin, brought to mind a quotation by 
Eugene Debs. It has long been an i 
u to me and T feel it is in the 
irit as the Philosophy 


spina 
ne spi 


“Do you know that all the progress 
in the whole world’s history has been 
made by minorities? I have somehow 
been fortunately all of my life in the 
minority. I have thought again and 
again that if I ever find myself in 
the majority I will know that T have 
outlived myself, There is something 
magnificent about having the cour- 
age to stand with a few, with and for 
a principle, and to fight for it with- 
out fear or favor. developing all of 
your latent powers, expanding to the 
proportionable end, rising to your 
и ture, no matter whose respect 
you may forfeit, as long as you keep 
your own. 


William Karpinski 
Cornell University 
Ithaca, New York 


SEX AND PLEASURE 


1 have read with extreme curiosity and 
concern Mr. Hefner's editorial com- 
ments in The Playboy Philosophy. He, 


of comse, is entitled to his opinion 
1 sincerely believe that the expres 
of this opinion shows his concern 
his subject m 
ment js to be 


for 
ter. ] think that his com- 
respected, but I should 


like to add just a bit to his discussion 
It must be true that we are 


шау 
a nation of h 1 doubt that 
the sures gathered by Dr. 
Kinsey and his colleagues are false. It 
is also true that the power of the censor 
is constantly being abused by persons 
who firmly believe that they are capable 
of g out” for the best interests 
of their fellow тап. But I do believe 
that without some hypocrisy and some 
censorship that sexual fee 
come a sort of plea 
has no function except for the stimuli- 
on of the parties involved. The idea 
that sex is for pleasure alone shows a 
desire by man to strive toward а hedo- 
nistic society in which no one displays 
on or mental stress but just thinks 


ypocrites for 


wesome 


етот 


of pleasure. I think that there are still 
some people in the world who think that 
because sex has something to do with 
the production of life, sex is to be re- 
garded as something a litle bit sacred. 
There is a chance that there may be 
just a little bit more to reproduction 
than the meeting of nd sperm. Thus, 
no matter how much justification for free 
love in a hedonistic sense by statistics 
and scientific surveys is presented, this 
does not make it right nor does it give 
anyone the right to abuse his or her 
ate life. To regard 
that тер us or causes 
n as evil is to create a world of 
ppy jellyfish that have no more sub- 
nce to themselves than the knowledge 
of their own pleasure. Let us not look 
for the “easy way out" or the “path of 
least resistance" but rather а goal in 
which dwells a man that can say. "I am 
а human being because I can control my 
mind and body.” It is not easy to be dif- 
ferent. This, of course, is something for 
each individ to gain for himself and 
not for laws, censors or governments to 
force upon humanity by their various 
means of coercion. 

Charles Е, Robertson 

New York, New York 

One need not be a hedonist to prefer 
pleasure over pain; nor docs the rejec- 
tion of pleasure demonstrate, ipso facto, 
that a man is more responsible, or in 
control of his mind and body. A willing 
ness to accept pain (ic, frustration, 
repression ) unnecessarily suggests masoch- 
ёт more than anything else. Sex can 
serve iwo ends: procreation and [or 
pleasure; we see no reason for assuming 
that God goofed when He arranged 
things that way. And it seems logical to 
assume that if He had wanted sex used 
Jor only procreation, He would have ar- 
ranged for the act to take place without 
any pleasure included as a part of it; 
or seen to it that the pleasure was lim- 
ited to only that time in the monthly 
female cycle when procreation is possible. 

Fish procreate without any particular 
pleasure: the male instinctively fevtilizes 
the eggs after. the female lays them. 
There is no actual contact required be- 
tween the sexes. This has been suggested 
as the origin of the expression “poor 
fish.” 

If your particular religious convictions 
have satisfied you that the pleasures of 
sex are, at best, a side issue, you are wel- 
come to pursue that approach and since 
you make clear that you respect the right 
of others to make up their own minds 
on the subject, we have no quarrel with 
your position. But it will require more 
than an edict passed down through the 
centuries [rom a time when guilt-ridden 
men believed that everything associated 
with sex was evil to satisfy us that the 
pleasures of sex were not created to be 
enjoyed, 


privilege to help ст 
everythin 
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76 


DARWIN 1963 
"SACRAMENTO (UPI)—TWO REPUBLICAN 


WANT TO END THE TEACHING 
OF DARWIN'S THEORY OF EVOLUTION IN 
CALIFORNIA PUBLIC SCHOOLS. ASSEMBLY- 


ROBERT BADHAM OF COSTA MESA AND. 


E ARD BARNES OF SAN DIEGO INTRO- 
DUCED A BILE PROHIBITING THE TEACHING 
OF ANY THEORY OPPOSED TO RECOGCA 


FARIAN DOCTRINE. BARNES SAID 1 
— iN HIS WORDS — "NO GOOD REASON WHY, 
AT А TIME WHEN WE ARE PROTECTING 
ATHEISTS AND AGNOSTICS FROM PRAYERS 
WHICH MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO THEM, WI 
CANNOT AISO PROTECT T 

LIGIOUS FATIH FROM IRRELIGIOUS TEACH 
INGS WHICH ARE EQUALLY OFFENSIVE.” ” 

Any comment? 


OSE WITH RE- 


Опе? first reaction might be to sug- 
gest that we apparently need to give 
literacy tests to our legislators morc than 
10 voters: but this would be brushing 
off the California assemblymen's inanity 
too lightly. The point they are trying to 
dramatically draw attention to with such 
an announcement is their clear conten- 
lion that the recent Supreme Court rul- 
ing against a state-prepared prayer being 
used in public schools is antireligious and 
favors. or “protects.” ath 
tics; all they actually draw attention to 
with such nonsense is their own inability 
10 comprehend the basic intent of the 
Supreme Courts. decision. For in re- 
affirming one small aspect of the separa- 
tion of church and state, the Court was 
protecting organized religion from gov- 
crnmental interference fully as much as 
the other way around. 

Natural science belongs in a public 
school, including, of course, the study of 
evolution; religion belongs in a public 
school only if it, too, is to be an objec- 
tive and historically accurate course of 
study of all major religions. And in no 
case does a state-planned prayer have 
any place їп а school supported by taxes 
from the general public. 

The assemblymen's bill would have 
been more logical, though no less foolish, 
if they had proposed a law to keep 
science oul of church, which is religion's 
province; as it is, whatever point they 
hoped to make is completely lost in their 
own illogic. 


ists ама agnos- 


MILTON AND MILL 

In The Playboy Philosophy, Mx. Hef- 
ner has done well to present a popular 
Oth Century restitement of two famous 
essays on intellectual and social freedom: 
vin. Milows Areopagiteca and John 
Stuart. Mill's On Liberty. As Mill su 
gests, even if an argument is false, let 
it be primed: those individuals who 
claim to "possess truth" should be able 


ппег whatever is 


to refute it. In this т 
purported to be true shall be clarified 
all the more. But what of those who r 
fuse to review alien arguments for fear 
of mor n? This seems to 
be the view of many who have negatively 
responded to The Playboy Philosophy. 
Milton would retort that he could not 
“praise a fugitive and cloistered virtue, 
unexercised and unbreathed, that never 
s out to meet her adversary,” and I 
think his remark is not too i 
for some 20th Century 
morality. 


James H. Q 
Tulane University 
New Orleans, Louisiana 


COMING OF AGE 

I have been following The Playboy 
Philosophy for several months, and after 
reading part eight as well as The Playboy 
Forum, I have decided to enter my youth- 


my life, ling two- 
college, I have been "protected" by my 
parents. It was not until last February 
that I was able to “leave the nest," It is 
quite a shock to suddenly discover th 
опе is responsible to oneself for one's 
actions, not to one's parents. 

Two incidents have left quite an im- 


pression on me: the first was being 
approached by a homosexual, and the 
second was an affair with a lady twice my 


age. Dt is impossible for me to relate the 
knowledge she imparted to me, but the 
following quotation from Siddhartha b 
Hermann Hesse pretty well sums it up: 

“He learned many things Irom her wise 
red lips .. . Her smooth gentle touch 
ught him many things... . He, who was 
ill a boy as regards love and was in- 
dined to plunge to the depths of it 
blindly and ably was taught by her 
that one cannot have pleasure without 


asa 


giving it, and that every gesture, every 
caress, every touch, every glance, every 
single part of the body its secret 


w 


ich can give pleasure to one who can 
understand. She taught him that lovers 
should not separate from each other after 
making love without admiring cach 
other, without being conquered as well as 
conquering, so that no feeling of satiation 
or desolation ari the horrid feel- 
g of misusing or having been misused.” 
1 believe in personal freedom, But 
before one assumes these frecdoms, one 
should be willi cept all, not part, 
of the responsibilities. 

L. R. Coad 
Oakland, California 


es, nor 


to 


REVERENCE FOR SEX 
Your view as implied by the whole of 
PLAYBOY'S cor aud the Philosophy 


ent 


It is almost 
Ithough your 


and leveler. 
you resent reverence 
gs are probably 1 
Y coatings of contempt 
touch of self-deception. Tha 
m curious to find out about. 

Reverence and respect i 
amalgam of any re 
one intercoursed everyone eke, 
would happen to the sanctity or stability 
of marriage? Perhaps you don't give any 
ue to the notion of purity or the no 
n of disciplin 


with 


ered over 
nd maybe 
is what 


what 


neas Bean 

Neck, New York 
Since sex is an integral part of life, 

we have the same reverence for it as we 

do for life; the two, in natural man, ате 

indivisible, To denigrate sex is to deny 

life. 


CENSORSHIP 

I have read the first three installments 
of The Playboy Philosophy with great in- 
terest. I feel that your consistent espousal 
of sexual liberalism and individualism, 
and your equally steady raps at all forms 
of sex censorship, are particularly worth 
printing. If enforced conformity is any- 
where pernicious, it certainly is so in 
regard 00 sexdove relationships. Lon 
may you continue to say so. 

If you happen to give IQ tests to your 
prospective Bunnies, and you h 
handy with а 180-plus, just keep in mind 
that 1 have been unsuccessfully sear 
for a well-stacked Mme. Curie for 
third wife for quite a while now, with 
damned little success. So please wrap any 
good candidates carefully (if only tem- 
porarily) and ship them 10 New York by 
parcel post airmail, You'd better not 
bother to register them, since that has 
unsavory connotations. 

Albert Ellis, Ph.D. 
New York, New York 


ve onc 


During the week of April 21, 1963, 
lifted a longstanding 
ban on the sale by the University Book 
store of Henry Miller's Tropic of Can 
cer. The man who caused the b; 
the Attorney General of the State ol 
Rhode Island. J. Joseph Nugent. How: 
ever, in response to some statements by 
Edward O. Cole (president of the Uni 
versity chapter of the Forum of Civil 
Liberties and the man singly responsible 
for the lifting of the ban), Nugent said 
to а reporter that “if he [Cole] leaves 
the campus carrying that book, and I 
know about it, hell be arrested 

On Saturday, April 27, 1963, 1 took a 
walk in downtown Providence, promi 
nently displaying а paperback copy of 
the book. [n all, I passed 10 policemen 
ll of whom saw the book quite plainly 
nd all of whom refused to arrest me 
Finally, in disgust, 1 went up toa a 


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porter. The story was carried on the 
national wires, nationwide by NBC 
Radio, etc. The controversy continues; 
Mr. Nugent made ment conce: 
my actions, and his self-imposed, 
rbitrary dictum conce Tropic of 
ncer — a ban which is solely the whim 
of one man, not arrived at throw 
either due process of the courts or. in Га 
any semblance of legality — still st 

I am writing this letter, not to cla 
any glory or to pass myself off as a hero, 
but merely to inform you of what hap- 
pened vrAvnOY was, T 
would sty. directly responsible for my 
action. For another, I action in 
this smallest state (which seems to have 
ds) precisely 
Mr. Hefner 


discussed in the Philosophy 

Thank you for your significant con- 
tribution to the literature concerning 
censorship. 


Howard A. Karten 
Brown University 
Providence, Rhode Island 
It's always heartening lo hear of indi- 
vidual action against censorship — ac- 
tion which invol 
danger to the individual's liberty when 
a greater danger to freedom — freedom 
of thought and expression — is at sta 
In this month's "Playboy Philosophy 
Editor-Publisher Hefner discusses his 
own experience with his city’s censoring 
minions of the law. 


s a disregard of the 


Tt would not be fair to you if 1 didn't 
this opportunity to express my per- 
appreciation for Mr. Hefner edi- 
rial on censorship which appears in the E n 
ay issue of rLAvnov. He said a number 'They sing about errant ladies. 
of things which have needed to be said 
for all too long a time. 

We are publishers and distributors of 
ines and are, in Гас, the 
largest publishers of nudist magazines in 
the world with seven of the leading pub- 
lications in the field. Our company, The 
Outdoor American Corporation, carried 
a case through to the Supreme Court of 
the United States and won. The case 
Mervin Mounce vs. United Stat 
toms — had to do with the importation 
of foreign nudist publications. 50 we can 
fully appreciate all Mr. Hefner has writ 
ten in regard to censorship. 

The thing that es us is that pco- 
ple can work so tly toward tak 


And love, mayhem, jails, subways, hangings, and — — — —. 

We left it blank because no one ever knows what the Kingston Trio 
will sing about next. 

They collect songs from far and wide eal folk songs, popular 
folk songs, hilarious parodies, college songs, quiet ballads. And give 
them all a new and bright life. 

The free-wheeling, completely entertaining, completely delightful 
Kingston Trio kind of life. 

Like “Tom Dooley” Like “M.T.A” Like “Tijuana Jail" Like 
“Where Have All the Flowers Gone” 

Whatever song they sing, whatever in the world it might be about, 


the Kingston Trio makes it fun to listen to. You can count on that. 
And every album is a new and different and delightful collection. 
Listen to the Kingston ‘Trio on Capitol, and you'll hear what we mean. 


the rights and freedoms of others with- 

ош any realization that in so doing they EEE | = ae 
are themselves suffering a severe loss of IP KINGSTON T esws || | FRI 
those things which have helped to make THE KINGSTON TRIO THE KINGSTON TRIO || | THEKINGSTON TRIO ^16, 
America great — a bit of their own rights | 


:doms. Their actions seem to 
prove that none can be more intolerant 
than those who seek tolerance for them 
selves, 


and fi 


| 
Ed 


Packwood 
Mays Landing, New Jersey (5177709 ПЕТ CA 


PLAYBOY 


178 


While enjoyi nelligent 
ne Playboy Philosophy. prior to 
my usual Sunday morning shower, 1 w 
stuck by the accord we seem to have 
found in the firm belief that the pleasure 
of the bedroom is just as proper for dis- 
cussion as the pleasures of the table, 
sports, books, art and the general tenor 
of good and sane living. My wife in her 
usual playful mood. tossed the Boston 
Sunday Herald at me, 


g your very 


and 


nd there staring 


me in the face was the headline: “car 
DINAL CUSHING URGES ABOLITION OF THE. 
od. says 1, the 


ng rLavnoy, He 
says 7... canon Taw is the result of the 
pastoral needs. But the needs of one time 
are not the needs of another. The laws of 
the past that were put on the books to 
take care of the problems of the past may 
not be of much help to а later genera- 
tion.” 

Keep up the good work. We must be 
ever constantly alert against the do- 
gooders who would sirip us of all our 
freedoms. After over 50 years of good 
living, 1 firmly believe that there is 
nothing in this world that is sinful or 
is only illegal. 

Guy Chartrand 
ont, Massachusetts 


immo 


t semester, my term project for 
Wor tory Hg, Censorship in the 
United States Today, was censored. 
lu my bibliography were three in- 
stallments of The Playboy Philosophy, 
transcript of the Supreme Court hear- 
ing of Lady Chatterley’s Lover, and an 
imroduaion to Tropic of Cancer (те 
cently banned here) by Karl Shapiro. 1 
received а "D^ for 25 pages of type 
ing. 

1 am constantly infuriated by the at- 
pts of censors to deprive a growing 


d of reading (or writing about) Law- 
rence, Salinger, Joyce, Miller. etc, espe- 
cially in an “institute of learning.” 1 


dmire PLAYBOY'S ideals and the cout 
it takes to smack the public 
‘Thank you for fighting for the stude 
right to read. 


e 
п the face. 
at's 


Mare Thorman 
Indianapolis, Indiana 
Would Mr. Hefner like more. exam- 


ples of the intellectual stupidity in the 
selection of. censors, 
some censors turn thumbs down on what 
we are to read, see and hear? Here's one 
for a starter: About two months ago 
in American Legion commander in Ar- 
lington, Virginia, filed suit in court to 
have copies of J. D. Sali The 
Catcher in the Rye removed [iom the 
library because it was immoral. When he 
filed the suit, the commander confessed 
that he had never read the book, but 


and 


ens 


had told him about it. 
Chester Wright 
Washington, D. C 


d of h 


It has been with considerable pleasure 
and amazement that 1 have read. your 
Playboy Philosophy series. Such forth 
right social criticism is rarely found ex: 
cept in books directed to the intellectual 
— and the fact that ideas of this contro 
versial natu being expounded so 
logically in a popular magazine is heart- 
ening indeed. 

On the subject of “obscenity.” I should 
like to state that the whole subject of 
censorship is obscene. If obscenity is to 
be defined as ing which works 
ist our best interests. moral or other- 
wise, then censorship is obscenity in its 
most violem form. No individual. or 
group has the right to infringe upon the 
freedom of another. If we allow our 
freedoms to be suppressed by a minority 
(which is what is being done) only a 


somet 


dictatorship cam resul, God help us 
should that happen. 
As a mother, 1 am very interested in 


the moral and spiritual direction. my 
children are to receive, and I want to 
do that directing myself, not have it 
done by a “board.” There are many 
things which | would not care for 
children to adopt, but | certainly i 
lor them to know these 
For instance, 1 would rather they didu't 
read. comic books, so 1 don't buy them 
H they pick them up at a friend's house, 
though, so what? My encouraging them 
to read what P feel is good for them 
wht to be sufficient to ollset any pos 
sible they may develop for 
But 1 want the right 
myself what they should 
tell my neighbors that 
kids shouldn't read comic 

Fortunately, my childhy 
erned by а rather libe 
was very little supervision у 
choices in regard to books, movies, ес. 
and | can reasonable degre 
of assurance that I was harmed less by 
what E read or saw than by what | was 
told by well-meaning but mislirccicd 
individuals. 


ано 


poorer literature. 
to decide [or 


books. 


over 


Jacqueline Morelli 
Spenard, Alaska 


Т was 


imazed by the item in the May 
Playboy Philosophy resaidinz the TV 
program Open End and its being cen 
sored. Our discusses 

such as those appare 
Open End. almost 


mass med items 
tly thr 


ly with litle ad- 


shed out on 


verse comment arising from their. pub: 
Our telev services have 
st programs deal re 


ligion and politics in a ver 
пег. We have seen progi 
with a venereal disease and 
and effects, which broug! 


its causes 
ht more to the 


people who watched them (the viewir 
figures ran into tens of millions) t 
they would have learned in a lifetime 
of reading posters in public lavatories, 
but apparently these programs would 
never have been screened in the U. S 

I believe, as you do, that censorship 
dams the everwidening stream of the 
. political, and artistic development 
of a society and creates stagi 
of corruption which become qu 
in which the stream loses its d 
May your editor 
ished without the bene 
other than your conscience, 
they have some effect in ri 
position of publisher vs. censor in 
United 5 


mora 


gmires 
ection. 
ils continue to be pub. 


t of 


ny censor 
and 


Permit me to extend. my perso! 
congratulations on the truthfulness and 
courage Editor-Publisher Hefner has ar- 
culated in. The Playboy. Philosophy. 1 
join with him in recognizing the fund 
mental foundation of a democratic soci- 
ely, to wit, that every idea, no matter 
how extreme, apparently absurd or re- 
pugnant. must have the right and oppor- 
tunity of seeking majority acceptance. 
Without this sort of social climate, our 
ty would rapidly ably de- 
teriorate into a tyranny of the majority 
wherein conformity would become a 
commandment. With the advent of ad- 
ditio ity laws, which is noch 
ner how 
adership 
an pre 


па iney 


soc 


элес 
more than censorship. no m 
менени, (he need for k 
among the responsible Amer 
grows more acut 

Herbert 1. Heiken, Chairman 
Florida Civil Liberties Union 
Miami, Florida 


Т have found Mr. Hefner's contribu- 


tions under the title of The Playboy 
Philosophy most interesting and useful 


lhe 


in shaping my own attitudes tow 
problem of censorship. 

Philip Q Roche, M.D. 

Conshohocken, P 

Dr. Roche. a psychiatrist and author of 

“The Criminal Mind." who speni years 

, has said that he 


nsylvania 


treating prison inmate 
was never able to satisfy himself that 
“obscene or pornographic materials had 
a direct or proximal connection with 
the commission of the crime in any cate 
gory including that of sex offenses." He 
has also averved that “blocked sexuality 
leads lo substitutive sadism, violence 
and, not. uncommonly Para- 
doxically, and much to the dismay of 
the moralists. one observes that obscen- 
ity or pornography is often a prophylac- 
Hie release and a crime preventive.” He 
goes further in stating that obscenity 
itself ds “subjective and metaphysical. 
Its existence is purely a mental associa- 

(continued on page 236) 


murder 


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THE PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY 


the eleventh part of a statement in which playboy's editor-publisher spells out—for friends 


and critics alike—our guiding principles and editorial credo 


AYBOY PHILOSOPHY. is a sometimes 
disorganized discourse, be- 
cause the writing of cach new installment 
brings forth a succession of ideas and 
s that vie for expression, We put 
them down as they occur to us. When we 
have concluded the series, we will prob- 
ably edit it iplined fom 
as а book. but for magazine publication, 
this more direct, organic approach sui 
our purpose, since the Philosophy is in- 
tended as a living statement of our De- 


nto a more disc 


Hefs, our insights and our prejudices 
This issue we had intended discussing 
modern America's sex attitudes and. be 


havior, but that fascinating subject will 
have to wait a month or for an- 
other related concern — censorship — has 
been too forcibly and personally thrust 
upon us to be denied additional com- 
ment. On June Ath, we were arrested in 
our home on charges of “publishing and 
distributing an obscene. publication." If 
that fact seems incredible to our readers, 
the full story behind the arrest is even 
more unbelievable. It serves to emphasize 

point we discussed lier install- 
ments of the Philosophy regarding the 


two, 


portince of the separation of church 
and state in a free society. 
The arrest was allegedly prompted by 


the nude photographs of Jayne Mansfield 
appearing in the June issue of PLAYBOY. 
Were these photographs the real reason 
for the action taken against us? Or 
possible that The Playboy Philosophy it- 
self, critical of the church-state implica 
ms in the Chicago justice recently 
meted out to comedian Lenny Bruce, 
and emphasizing that true religious frec- 
dom means freedom from as well as fr 
dom of religion, supplied the motive? 


KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? 


The Mansfield. melodrama began late 
on a Tuesday afternoon, We were asleep 
in our home (or, аз ed it, in 
our “humble 40-room pad on Ch 
North Side”). We had been working all 
through the previous day and night on 
the August installment of the Philosophy 
and retired in the late moring to grib 
40 overdue and badly needed winks. We'd 
gotten about half that number when the 
intercom beside our bed buzzed us awake. 
It was our housekeeper, who informed us 


ne тєр 


ино" 


editorial By Hugh M. Hefner 


that four of Chicago! 

hrom door with a ман 
and that CBS-TV 
cameras. 
The charge, we were told, was obscenity 
— someone ай objected to the pictures 
of Jayne Mansfield in the June issue and 
managed 10 get a warrant for our arrest. 
Now, it should be mentioned that a viola- 
tion of the Chicago obscenity statute is it 
misdem 
$200 for the 


finest were at our 
t for u 
was there also, 


vest 
with 


п fine of 
ilty; it is not uncommon, 
when the charge is a minor one, to serve 
the w t aud. ge for the booking 
and posting of bond at a ti ient 
to all concerned. We asked our house- 
keeper, therefore, to request that the offi- 
cers contact our anorneys the following 
morning and n rrangements through 
them for accepting the warrant, etc. At 
this point the melodrama took on some 
of the attributes of high comedy as our 
housekeeper misunderstood our instruc- 
tions — which were given, we must con- 
tess, while only three quarters awake. She 
went downstairs and gave our message, 
not to the police, but to the men with 
the TV cameras, who took it to mean 
that we would have а statement to make 
to the press through our attorneys the 
following morning. 

We turned over, only half. believing 
that we weren't still asleep and the whole 
thing just a d by the 
frankfurters and Pepsi we'd. consumed 
just before retiring: we'd managed to get 
another 114 winks when the intercom 
buzzed us awake a second time. We got 


me conver 


our instructions straightened around and 
our housekeeper signed ofl to carry them 
down to the officers of the law: 14 


the i 
nh 


wink Tater buzzed 
d refused to listen to 
s more, they had 
lowed her back into the house and were, 
ab that in rhe hallway just 
outside our room. She was trapped in 
another part of the house — unable to 
return to her olfice, which opens onto our 
private qu for fear they would fol- 
low her there also. 

Now fully awake, and convinced that 
the franks and cola had nothing to do 
with the situation decided it 


tercom 


moment, 


ers, 


we was 


time to call our lawyer; we reached him, 
appropriately enough, at a meeting of 
the Civil Liberties Union. We dressed to 
the thumpity-thump-thump of police fists 
pounding on our bedroom door. The 
protectors of Law and order were contem- 
plating breaking it down when our at- 
torneys arrived. 

From that point on, with our legal 
representatives on the scene, the police 
were most courtcous. We drove to head- 
quarters, were booked, posted bail (S200), 

nd were free in less than. half an hour. 

But why, Irv Kupcinet wondered in 
his column in the Chicago. Sun-Times 
the next dity, had four armed huskies of 
the Chicago police force been gd 
to arrest "one non-violent publish. 
Perhaps, we suggested to Kup, they sent 
extra men along on the chance that one 
or two might get lost in our swimming 
pool with the Bunnies. But we couldn't 
help speculating on the obvious attempt 
to make a public spectacle of the arrest. 
Who. for example, had tipped oll the 
TV stations, so that television cam 
were at the house waiti when 
police arrived? 


the 


WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JAYNE? 


The Number One 


Question i 


first place? Very obviously рглүвоү 
not obscene — previous attempts to ce 
sor the п when we first be: 


vii 


fully fought in the courts and. erAynox 
has firmly established itself, in the years 

wv publication on the con 
temporary American scene. 

The press and news commentators of 
radio and TV tended to treat the arrest 
as a joke, and il the implications of 
governmental censorship were not so 
serious. we would have, too. "Just to 1 
ice things out,” said Alex Dreier on his 
WBRB-TV news show, "the National 
Geographic also has а g this 
month!” Tony Weitzel commented in his 
column in the Chicago Daily News: "Now 
that four husky gen. have suc 
ceeded in ng Hugh Hefner for 
printing Jayne Mansfield. unzctouched, 
the June rLAvmoY mag is a collec- 
tor’s item.” Walter Winchell wondered 


mes 


81 


PLAYBOY 


82 


whether or not it might just be another 
publicity stunt perpetrated by Jayne her- 
self. It wasn't, Jayne, in fact, expressed 
surprise over the photographs’ appearing 
in veaynoy. “Those pictures were sup- 
posed to be used to publicize the Euro- 
pean version of the film,” she said. “I 
have no idea how PLaysoy got them. But 
when Hefner wants something, he usu- 
ally finds a way of getting it,” Actually, 
Miss Mansfield and the producers of the 
movie hid invited reavwoy’s photogra- 
phers onto the set to shoot the exclusive 
pictures and Jayne bad posed in a sep: 
ate session for the June cover 
Try Kupcinet wrote, in his Sia Times 
column: “The obvious question. about 
the arrest of rtavsoy publisher Hugh 
Hefner on ty charges based on 
the Jayne Manstickd nudes in the June 
sue is: Why now? rLavnoy has heen 
publish nudes of voluptuous dishes 
for years.” Conceding that Jayne is a bit 
more voluptuous than most, the question 
is still a good one: Why now? Jayne first 
appeared in rravuoy as а Playmate of 
the Month back in February of 10 
1 we chronicled her career in a hall. 
dozen issues after that, as she went from 
a bit part in the Broadway show IPHI 
Success Spoil Rock Hunter?, weaving a 
towel even smaller than her role, to star- 
dom in Hollywood, where she eventually 
dispensed with even the 
most recent film epic, 
Promises. Promises! 
The June 1963 issue 
of Playboy includes 
ht pages of photo- 
raphs of Jayne Mans- 
field nude in bed and 
bubble bath during the 
filming of Promises! co- 
starring Tommy Noo- 
Mickey Hargi 
and Marie McDonald. 
Some of the pictures 
show a man (Tommy 
Noonan) on the bed. 
100. It is this, explained. 
Chicago Corporation 
Counsel John Melani 
phy, when pressed for 
an explanation by the 
press, that makes the 
June issue of Pavwoy 
Besides, he 
continued. defensively, 
he'd received а lot of 
plaints, and the 
ption under one of 
the photographs s 
"she writhes а 
ductively"; a 
other, she is described 


obsce 


" 


towel, in her 


obscen 


tions, according to Me- 
laniphy, “arouse pru 
rient interests and de- 
feat any claim of art.” 

Mr. Melaniphy thus 


Chicogo’s censors approved naked passion of Elke Somme: 
(top) — disapproved of the naked spoof of Jayne Monsfeld 


appeus to be making 


legal assumption — that 
nude must either be obscene or a 
work of art. That, of course, is one 
Of those asumptions that is aptly 


described as unw: 


nted. It is quite pos- 
sible for a nude to be neither — and fail- 
ing to qualify in no way establishes 
айе assuming it to be the 
of Jayne in the June 
issue arc, in our opinion, simply candid 
photographs of a movie in the makit 
Whatever artistic merit they may or may 
not possess is very much beside the point 
The impor g is. they are not ob- 
scene — clearly and — conclusively — for 
pictures far more brazen than these have 
Leen cleared of obscenity by the Supreme 
Court, appear regularly in a number of 
other magazines available on newsstands 
and by subscription (via Post Office ap- 
proved second cla 1) throughout the 
U.S., and in motion pictures, also, in- 
cluding films that have been. passed by 
the Chicago Film Censor. Board (And 
ЛІ have more to say about this a bit 
later.) 


A DEFINITION FOR OBSCENITY 


At this time, we think some 
should be made to defin 


other, The picture 


w 


ttempt 
» just what con- 
stitutes legal obscenity and try to deter- 
mine how the June бце of rravsoy 
squares with this definition, Every cor- 


French film, Sweet Ecstasy 
the June issue of PLAYBOY. 


tion counsel, district attorney, judge, 
chief, and state or local offici 
whose position includes the power to ce 
sor what his fellow Americans may read, 
view or listen to, should be familiar with 
the following facts. And every newspaper- 
man, columnist. and radio and TV com- 
mentator, who has the opportunity to 
comment upon censorship when it occu 
in his community. should be familiar 
with them also. 

No one needs to be told that the free- 
doms of speech and. press are among the 
precious ор teed by 
nsitution, Without them, all othe 
freedoms would soon vanish and our 
democracy itself would disappear. “The 
Supreme Court h 1. however, 
that obscenity is outside the protections 
of the First Amendment. If obscenity is 
to be an exception to these most basic 
freedoms, then i perative il 
dearly understand just wh 
obscenity. And we must be cons 
on the alert to make certain that the 
label of “obscene” is not used to censor 
other speech and press that 
are our precious heritage, but to which 


our 


s decla 


as of fre 


some fellow member of society — for 
whatever reason — may object. The Su- 
preme Court has stated, “The door 


barring federal and state intrusion into 
the fundamental. freedoms ol speech 
and press] cannot be left must be 

kept tightly closed 


and opened. only the 
neces- 


Mest crack 
to 
hment upon more 


important interests." 


And Supreme Court 
Justice Harim wrote, 
in a recent majority 
decision, "We risk ero- 
sion of First Amend- 
ties unless 

ilance 

upon the methods 
whereby obscenity is 
condemned no less 


than upon the stm- 
dards whereby it i 


ss is, of 
'obsce 
always т 
the final 
lysis, subjective, Ob- 
ty, like beauty, is 
the eve of the be- 


speech 


course, th 
ity" 


must 
n, in 


scc 


holder, As D. H. Law- 
rence has brilliantly 
observed, “What is por 


nography to опе man 
is the laughter of gen- 
ius to another.” Recog- 
nizing this problem, 


Mix 3 parts Light or Dark 
Bacardi,1 part dry vermouth 
and stir like the devil with 
ice. Pour, add a black olive 


—and toast the rising moon! 
Or add a green olive and ice cubes, and the devilish delight be- 
comes a Green Devil on-the-rocks. A lemon twist makes a Yellow 
Devil. And so on. There must be at least fifty ways to make a 
Bacardi Devil—but one thing never changes. Smooth, dry Bacardi 
makes smooth, dry drinks. There are probably enough bottles 
of Bacardi to last until you get to the store. But why chance 
it? It’s every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost! 


OBACARD! IMPORTS. INC.. N. Y.. RUM, 80 PROOF 


Black Devil Green Devil Yellow Devil White Devil 


83 


PLAYBOY 


84 


the Supreme Court has established, in 
decisions over the past half-dozen yea 

incipally in. Roth vs. United States, 
wd Manual Enterprises, Inc. vs. 
маа Day, 1962 1 to be used 
sa guide in determining what can and 
cannot һе considered legally obsce 

In Roth, the Supreme Court supplied 
this partial definition for obscer 
“Whether to [the] average perso 
ing contemporary community standards, 
[the] dominant the 
taken as a whole appeals to prurient 
terest. 

While we share the opinion of Justices 
s and Black that this standard is 
too subjective and vague (sce The Play- 
boy Philosophy, June 1963), the Supreme 
Court further clarified its position in the 
Manual Enterprises. decision, in June 


1962, and the present de more 
than satisfactory for the discussion at 
hand. (Justice Douglas argues convine 


gly: “The Supreme Cou n 
Tor obscenity as what offends "the com 
mon conscience of the community’ 
would certainly not be an acceptable 
one if religion, economics, politics, or 
volved. How docs it 


be squared with the First Amendment." 
Justice Black states, оп the subject of 
obscenity: "My view is, withou 
n, without exception, wi 
bus or whe 
speech 


devia- 
hout any ils, 
freedom of 
ns that you shall 
not do something to people cither for 
the views they have or the views they 
express or the words they speak ог 
write.) 

But whatever the shortcomings of the 
present Supreme Court test, it has estab 
lished criteria for censorship that are 
more specific and limiting than any that 
preceded it and makes the majority of 
the current censorship activity across the 
US. extralegal — or without 
justification — includ 
the June PLAYBOY arr 

In the Roth case, the Court atte 
to separate what is protected. under the 
Constitution from what is unprotected. 
by use of the term “obscenity.” It con- 
firmed that “sex and obscenity are not 
1 the} ро 1 of 
ature and scienti 
titled to] the constit 
ion of freedom of speech 
d press" The Court has held in a 
number of separate decisions (Parmelee 
vs United States; Sunshine Book vs. 
Summerfield: Mounce vs. United States; 
Manual Enterprises vs. Day) that the 
portrayal of nudity docs not, in and of 
itself, make a picture obscene. And these 
decisions include total nud 
appearing together in 


of both. 


sexes, 


photograph, with pubic areas exposed. 

In Roth the Court established that in 
order for material to be judged obscene, 
it must be "uuerly without redeeming 
social importance." The Court. also r 
jected the “isolated excerpt” and “pa 
ticularly susceptible persons” tests — th 
had on Americans 
ce the Regina vs. Hicklin 
established in 
ıt theme of [the] 
s a whole” and the 
1, applying contemporary 
ity standards. 
In the Manual 


age perso 


nterprises. decision 
the Supreme Court confirmed that its 
intent in Roth had been “to tighten 
obscenity standards.” The Court then 


D 


proceeded to tighten them further. by 
clarifying the 
Roth: 


included in 
kenly accepted 
‘single vest for determi 


definitio 


It had be 


challenged material is obscene,” 
wrote Justice Harlan for the majority. 
Actually, it was only half of a two-part 


test, well established by previous opin- 
ious and court decisions, Noting that 
“the thoughtful studies of the Americ 
Law Institute reflect the 
concept of obscenity,” the Court quoted 
from its draft of a Model Penal Code: “A 
thing is obscene if. considered as a whole, 
its predominant appeal is to prurient 
interest . . . and if it goes sub: 
beyond customary limits of 
description or representation. of 
ters.” (Emphasis added by the 


me twolold 


such 


court.) 


The Supreme Court “requires two dis 
elements” 


tinct s proof of obscenity 


venes: and (2) ‘piur 
ent al” This is an 
tant 


obscenity. for it is quite possible for 
material to appeal to pr 
interests without being 
enough to be obscene 
In Manual Enterprises, the Court also 
clarified what it meant by "contemporary 
community standards”: the "community 
was defined as national in nature 
“cor у munity stmdards” 
national standard of decency.” rathe 
ı that of any lesser geographical ar 
which might “have the intolerable cor 
sequence of denying some sections of th 
country access 10 mater 
acceptable, which in others mi 
considered. olfeusive to prev 
munity stundards of decenc 
The Court also confirmed 
determination of what is obscen 
машшогу or onal sense 


objectionable 


d 


as 


that the 
the 
not 


constitui 


what happened). but a matter. of fact 
mixed with a de of law, It 
« therefore, “соп t," to 
blished by the higher courts rathe 
ı being left solely to the discretion 
of a jury. which might reach one con 
clusion if impaneled from a large het 
crogeucous community like San Francisco 


ıd quite another if it were made up of 
the members of a small town in New 
England. 

These further clarifications should re- 
lieve some of Supreme Court Justice 
Douglas’ previously expressed concern 
about the “common conscience of the 
community” being used as a guide to 
obscenity: "Under that test,” said Justice 
Douglas, “juries can censor, suppress, and 
punish what they do not like. . . . This is 
community censorship in one of its worst 
forms. It creates a regime where, in the 
de between the literati and the Ph 
nes. the Philistines are certain to win." 


IS PLAYBOY OBSCENE? 


ing de 


ribed the Supreme Court's 
Tor what constitutes. obscenity, 
¢ а look at the June issue of 
and see what devel of legal 
expertise Corporation Counsel John Me- 
niphy is employing on behalf of the 
citizens of Chicago, in his 
considered opinion d e is 


avrov 


the magari 


phy must consider, 
not simply the eight pages devoted to 
Jayne Mansfeld. but the entire 200 
ges in the June issue — for the Su- 
preme Court has admonished him, and 
all other would-be censors, not to judge 
a work by “isolated excerpts.” He must 


sincerely believe that “the dominant 
theme of the 1. taken asa whole 
is obscene. And to justily his charge of 


obscenity, he must further believe that 


The June issue included the first half 
of Jules Feitter’s novel 
with Women, about which 
ine wrote, ciffer 


zed 


be read, some of the time, as light 
imer fiction. It is studded with scenes 
of cheerfully skindeep sa ert- 
ingly chuckleheaded dialog. But occa- 
sionally Feifler's laughter comes close to 
a stilled cry of anguish — in a way tha 
has not been matched. ce Natha 
Wests Miss Lonelyhearts." It included 
the last installment of On Her Majesty's 
Secret Service, the latest James Bond ad. 


rc and d 


el 


venture by Lan Fh . favorite adven 
ture writer of the President. It included 
new fiction by Ray Bradbury and Br 


Rencelaw; an 


days by Charles Beaumont, plus за 
Shepherd M 


п cooking by Thomas Mario and 
one on proper male attire by Robert L 
Green, a pa k Chase 
and three pages of gift suggestions [or 
Father's Day and Graduation. It con 
tained 16 pages of cartoons, 10 columns 
of reviews of books, ords. 
movies and th columns of ad 
vice on dating, etique hion, groom- 


Pob 


These carefree Robert Bruce interpretations feature full zipper front, elasticized collars for permanent snug fit. 100% virgin Orlon acrylic fiber makes 
them fully machine washable. His $15.95, S,M,L,X. Hers $14.95, 34-40. In men's departments and men’s shops everywhere. Boys’ sizes: $12.95. 
Juniors: $9.98. Priced slightly higher on the West Coast. Robert Bruce, Inc., Philadelphia 34, Pa. « New York Sales Office: Empire State Bldg., N.Y. 

* Du Ропез reg. trademark for its acrylic р. B5 


PLAYBOY 


avel and hi- terview with 
Billy Wilder: and the seventh install- 
ment of The Playboy Philosophy devot- 
ed, ironically enough. to an extensive 
examination of the dangers of censorship 
cluding an interview 


n a [ree society, 
with Supreme Court Justice Hugo Black 
on the significance of the constitutional 
guarantees of free speech and press in 
the Fist Amendment To justify the 
action he has taken a лувоу, Mr. 
Melaniphy must consider all of the lore- 
going as “predomini g to 
prurient interest" hout 
redeem 1i 

But wait— thats not all. That. as the 
Supreme Court made abundantly clear 
in its Manual Enterprises decision. is only 
the half of it. Iu order to be considered 
obscene, the June issue of PLAYBOY must 
also, in the words of Justice Harlan, "he 
deemed so offensive on [йз] face as to 
cy" 
"obnoxiously debasing por- 
sos that is porurayed in a 


front community standards of dece 


and be an 
trayal of 


manner so offensive as to 1 it un- 
acceptable under current community 
mores" To be obscene under U.S. law, 


that description must fit our entire June 
— with the editorial contents listed 
a icluding over 60 pages of quality 
advertising from 102 top American firms 
(as evidence of its acceptability in contem- 
porary society): and a total sale of over 
two million copies (as further evidence 
ol its acceptability in contemporary so- 
ciety), plus long readership (con- 
firmed by independent research 
organization as the highest of any major 
magazine in the nation) of more than 
15 million (as still further evidence of 
the same), 

Just who, precisely, does 
iphy think he’s kidding? 

But lets go a step further. 
the Supreme Court will not allow it in 
1 consideration of obscenity, let's 
examine the Jayne Mansfield feature by 
itself — apart from the rest of the June 
issue. For it is our contention, and firm 
conviction, that even when considered 
there is no justificition for thc 
e оГ obscenity. so capriciously made 
by the Corporation Counsel of Chicago. 
The U.S. cours have clearly. estab- 
lished that nudity is not, per se. obscene. 
And this include: we have indicated, 
complete nudity on the part of both 
sexes, appearing together in a single 
photograph. It also. includes nudity in 
bed, and out of bed, embracing. and 
engaged only in casual conversation. 
And it includes still pictures, and mov- 
g pictures, too. Our courts obviously 
believe that the adult American of to- 
lay is just as mature as his European 
counterpart and that he may safely be 
allowed to view Brigitte. Bardot her 
latest ebottomed bedroom bout — 
winner take all— without any serious 
cect on his moral fiber. A rather 


Mr. Melan- 


Though 


rash 


sumption, perhaps, but one that the 
ighest court in the land, after he 


aring 
ament pro and con. has 
expressed. itself as willing to make 

The nudity in the June photo feature 
not begin to approach that which 
apreme Court has already held to 
be not obscene. [n the bed sequence, 
Jayne îs partially covered hy a sheet 
as for the man in the pictures, he is fully 
clothed. It must be pointed out. in addi 
tion, that there is no direct body contact: 
that the man is not redi but. is 
seated upright ou the edge of the bed. 
with his feet on the floor: that the photo 
graphs are clearly identified as bei 
scenes from a movie: and that it is 
clearly stated that in the motion picture. 
the man (Tommy Noonan) ponrays 
Jayne Mansfield's husband. 

Now what about those 
tions under aphs? ‘The 
seductive writhings and gyrations that 
Mr. Melaniphy believes are. calculated 
to “arouse prurient interests” actually 
describe Jayne's unsuccessful attempt to 
terest her cinema hubby in coming to 
bed. while he remains thoroughly en- 
grossed in а book of humor he is real 
loud. 


obscene" 
cath. the photog 


cap- 


The excerpts [rem the iwo pi 
ture captions, as quoted out of context 
by Melaniphy and picked up by а part 
of the press in reporting the arrest, give 
а completely erroneous impression of the 


full captions, which read: “Alas, poor 
] As she writhes about seduc- 
tively, the best she сап draw from 
Noonan som funny lines." and 


“Jayne, admitting defeat, stops gy 
and starts giggling. Too late, Noonan 
discovers there's а live body in 
Those are the tines that appeal 
prurient interests” and 
issue obscene 

No one familiar 
explicit. sexual d 
now found in a 
a's besesclli 


with the extensive, 
log and description 
great number. of the 
g novels, and consider- 
ш that the forthright sex prose of Lady 
Chattestey's Lover by D. H. Lawrence 
and Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller 
has been specifically cleared of obscenity 
charges in recent. U.S. high court deci- 


sions, can seriously suggest that these 
photo captions in rLAYsOY even ap- 
proach the obscene. 

We have offered a number of exam 


ples of material that cumot be correctly 
called Where, the do the 
counts presently draw the line between 
what may and may not be considered ob- 


obscene. 


scenity? In interpreting the Supreme 
Court's recently established standards. 


the highest courts in New York, Massa- 
chusetts and California have ruled. in 
individual € only so-called 
“hard-core pornography” сан be 
sidered so repugnant to contempora 


corr 


"y 


de 


society, so worthless and without redeem 
ng social importance, as 10 be held 
"obscene" and, therefore, outside the 


ree speech and press 
the Constitu 
Last year the Supreme Judicial Court 


of Massachusetts, in ruling that Tropic 
of Cancer was mot obscene. cited the 
Supreme Courts decision in the Roth 
ease, stating, “We conclude. therelore. 
as in effect the New York court did in 
the Richmond County News case, tha 
material desi 
general circulation. only predominantly 
‘hard-core pornography, without re 
deeming social significance, is obscene in 


with respect to 


In à una 
same book, in July of this y 
preme. Court of the State of Califor 
also cited Roth, This deci- 
sion aud others of the United States Su. 
preme. Court. we think. impliedly drew 
a line of constitutional protection around 
all material except t ich has been 
described as hard-core poi phy. In 
this analysis . . . we follow the interpre 
tations of the distinguished New York 
Court of Appeals and Supreme Judicial 


nd stated. 


wi 


порт 


Court of. Massachusetts." 
In а foomow to the decision. the 
ifornia Supreme Court quotes. from 


Pornography and the Law by Drs. Eber- 
hard and Phyllis Kronhausen on the 
dillerence between. erotic lism, which 
is not obscene, and hard-core pornog- 
raphy, which is: “In pornography (hard- 
core obscenity) fhe main purpose is to 
stimulate erotic response in the reader. 
And that is all. In erotic realism, truthful 
description o[ the basic realities of life, 
as the individual experiences il, is of 
the essence, even if such portrayals . . . 
have a decidedly anti-crotic effect. But 
by the same token, if, while writing 
realistically ou the subject of sex, the 
author succeeds in moving his reader, 
this, too, is erotic realism, and it is axto- 
matic that the reader should respond. 
otically to such writing, just as the 
sensitive reader will respond, perhaps 
by actually crying, to a sad scene, or 
by laughing when laughter is evoked.” 

In effect, the court was ii ating that 
simply because the writen word. or a 
i arouses sexual 


response is no 


for damning it— not if it has 
any additional worth or value. For as 
Judge Jerome Frank has stated, “Û think 


that no sane man thinks socially danger 
ous the arousal of normal sexual desires, 
Consequently, if reading obscene books 
has merely that consequence, Congress, 
it would seem, can constitutionally no 
more suppress books than it can prevent 
the mailing of many other objects. such 
as perfumes, for . which no- 
toriously produce that result." 

While the high courts in other states 
are taking the Supreme Court to mean 
what ding freedom of speech 
and press in Hlinois the Chicago Cor- 
poration Coun: 1g to censor 
one of the most popular magazines in 


exampl 


The woods are full of them. 

Nota one weighs more than 126. 
And they measure 55cc where it 
counts the most — right in their 
sturdy 4-stroke 5 hp air-cooled 
OHV power plant. 

That’s a lot of push for a single 
cylinder. In fact, they can handle 
400 pounds and come through 
fresh as a daisy. 


Bring 'em back alive 


Fast? 22 mph is probably more 
than you could handle when the 
going gets rough. A simple change 
of sprocket and you can open up 
to 45 mph if the road looks OK. 

"They undersell competition. Out- 
perform them, too. Both by a wide 
margin. No wonder the Honda 
Trail 55 is the most popular trail 
machine in America. 


For the address of your nearest 
dealer or other information, write: 
American Honda Motor Co., Inc., 
Department Y, 100 West Alondra, 
Gardena, California. 


HONDA 


World's biggest seller! 


(©1963 AMERICAN HONDA MOTOR CO., INC. 


B7 


PLAYBOY 


Ате! 
Is it po: 


ible that Corporation Counsel 


John Mclaniphy is unfamiliar with the 
Supreme Court gs regard- 
obscenity? Not at all. hicago 


Sun-Times reported: Melaniphy ad- 
mitted "that he is fully aware of the 
difficulty of getting a convicti the 


PLAYBOY case, in view of recent Supreme 
Count decisions.” Melaniphy is familiar 
h the Supreme Court's decisions — he 
just doesn't think that he has to abide 
by them. That's the kind of Corporation 
Counsel we have in the City of Chicago! 

Nor did Melaniphy’s action end with 
our апсы: Imm 


"PLAYBOY" "> 


“OPS SEEK TO BAN 
police department, at the 
of the Corporation Counsel's ollice, to- 
day began a drive to halt further sale 
of the June issue of rLaynoy magazine. 
Brian Kilgallon, Assistant. Corporation 
Counsel in charge of enforcing the 
city’s obscenity ordinances, said police 
throughout the city will attempt to 
purchase the magazine at newsstands, 
drug: and bookstores, and other distribu. 
tion points, Warrants charging the 
of obscene matter will be sought against 
dealers who sell the June issue with the 
knowledge that the city has declared 
objectionable, he said 
An attempt was thus made to ban the 
magazine before the charge of obscenity 
had ever been established in а court of 
law. y 
restraint and attempted 
the city's news dealers 
Corporation Counsel Ме 
ready admitted that his office is not 
bound by Supreme Court decision 
that he is, therefore, above the law 
Chicago's American also reported, 
"Maximum penalty for v ny the city 
ordinance covering sale of obscene mat- 
ter is a fine of 5200. Kilgallon said most 
dealers are probably out of the magazine 
or have already stopped its sale. He 
said he has received several letters con- 
cerning the city’s action against Hefner, 
d all were favorable. "Most. people 
re concerned over how we can prev 
this type of magazine from 
the hands of children, he said. К 
estimated that two out of three of the 
agazine’s readers are under 21 y 


iphy hı 


nt Corporation. Counsel's 
“estimate” is, of course, as phony as 
the obscenity charge itself. The compo- 


х ct, for, like all oth 
magazines in America, we receive the 
annual Consumer Magazine Report pre- 
pared by Daniel Starch and Stall from 
a continuing, independent survey of 
gencral magazine readership throughout 
the U.S. The 1963 Starch survey indi- 
cates that 90.7% of PLAYBOY'S male read- 
ers are between the ages of 18 and 54. 


ape composition breaks down as fol- 
5.00, are under the age of 1 
wes of 18 and 
; 10.7% are between the ages of 95 
and 34; 110% between 35 and 44; 
1196; between 45 and 54; 34% 
and older. mravsov's female readership, 
which is sizable, follows the s: 
eral age раш 

, Melanipln 


lows 
27.1% are between the 


24 


me gen- 


using a concern for HERE justi 
cation for censoring the reading matter 
of adults (see The Playboy Philosoph 
February and June. 196 n acion 
the Supreme Court has specifically held 
10 be unconstitutional (Butler vs, Michi 
gan, 1957) 

Chicago's American. finished its story 
with, “James R. Thompson, Assistant 
state's Auomey i handli 
grand jury action against obscenit 
gested: (1) Citizens report to the 
Attorney's office books and magazines su 
pected of being obscene. (2) Formation 
оГ neighborhood ory 
izations to meet with merchants who s 
objectionable material. (3) Boycott 
stores which sell obscene literature. 

Here is a prospect certain to gladden 
the heart of every true American: neigh- 
borhood ates censoring the reading 
habits of their neighbors through intimi- 


charge of 


mmunity о: 


dat of the local news dealer 
When will we lean that our own 
rights are based upon protecting the 


rights of others? If we do not like a | 
book or magazine, we 
forced to purchase it; il it offends us, we 
do not have to read it, But we have no 
right to force o | piedi 
lections onto others. 


are not 


т own Listes 


CONTEMPORARY STANDARDS 

Th 
obscen 
have noted, 


upreme Courts definition. of 
es reference to, 
"contemporary community 
standards.” Thus the obscenity of yester- 
day is not necessarily the obscenity of 
ıd the obscenity of today need 
not be the obscenity of tomorrow, Con 
temporary community standards never 
static, but offer ever-chan| 
for judgment. It is the subjectiv 
of obscenity that disturbs great 
men like Supreme Court Justice Hugo 
Black, who feels that the freedoms gu 
anteed by our Constitution should be 
absolutes а solid, unshakabl, 
tion upon which our democracy is built. 


as we 


We have discussed at con 
length, in previous ments of The 


Playboy Philosophy, our own opinions 
on the subject of censorship. We are 
fundamentally opposed to it in concept 
— believin ntrol over the 
free be harmful 
to a free society. But if any rest 
to be exercised over the speech 
press of free men, then it must be 


¢ unbridled 
cn ignificant, prov- 
able harm. And if any control over sex- 
ual obscenity is to be justified on this 
basis, then surely what is “obscene” must 
be limited to only the most repugnant, 
perverted. negative aspects of sex — those 
that would turn sex from a thing of 
beauty and pleasure to a thing of pain, 
brutality and horror. 

But as history has proven, over and 
over again, censorship strikes first at the 
most delightful, pleasurable aspects of 
and Leaves the perverted, the twisted 
and the truly obscene to flourish. 

Fortunately for us all, we live in 
¢ when sexu; 
wane, We are presently involved in what 
may rightly be termed a Sexual Revolu- 
n and we previously made clear 
ош this search for 
а lead Americans 
less hypocritical attitude 
on an essential aspect of life too long 
hidden pressed. 

Se 
wel 


limited to those areas whi 
expression 


get just how far 
ive managed to climb toward sexu 
седот in no more than two or th 
Contemporary and 
т are able to look at life and dis- 
openly with one another in a 
nner that would have been unthink- 
able to our grandparents. 

At the turn. of the century, the can- 
a lively dance of the French musi 
halls of the time — was considered high- 
s even outlawed in 
Paris, but a litle past the mident: 
seems. perfectly proper ¢ 
її to most everyone but Kh 


ter- 


shchev (who took a very dim view of the 
performance he witnessed on the set of 
the film CanCan while 

wood a couple of years 


it may be remembered, nore his 
speed): Judge Thurman Arnold те 
rked. in a Playboy Panel on "Sex and 


Censorship in Literature and the Ars” 
(July 1961), that pin-up photographs in 
zette that were regarded as 

when 


the Police G 
ve hot stuff 
wouldn't. warr; 


he was а lad 


the modern. vot 

mates: early in the 19005, a girl was 
thought indecent, able to 
arrest, if she ventured out on a public 
beach in a bathi ait that bared her 


knees, while a. bikini-lad lass of to 
s a suit that covers little more of 
her anatomy than do her shoes and 
gloves: the archcensor 
Anthony Comstock caused 
sensation over the painting of 
ng maid taking an ea 
p — Comstock called it 

among other things (he had a rich 
vocabulary) — he made the pai 
mous and anyone who has ever seer 
reproduction of September Morn may 


we 


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national 


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89 


PLAYBOY 


t all the excite- 


very well wonder wl 
ment was about. 

In the Sixties nudity and sex no 
longer project the same sense of sin, 
shame and guilt for most of us that 


PROTECTION 


made them such deadening and op 
ЕАС | pressive burdens for our ancestors 
ТАЗ О | throughout history (sce The Playboy 


Philosophy, 
1963). 7 
Freud's 


August and September, 

«серпсе of 
garding the sexual 
nature of man undoubtedly helped free 
us: uly. Kinsey's statistics on 
sexual behavior helped, too. Аз scien- 
tific perception has. replaced. medieval 
superstition, the fear and mystery sur- 
ounding sex have been stripped. away 
aud. with them, much ol sexs power 10 
nd pervert. As we have previ 
ously observed, sexual perversion thrives 
when normal sexual outlets — both phys- 
d psychol ле suppi 
England's excessive Puritan 
the past two centurics must take the 
blame for not only the wans tra- 
ditional lack of spon y. but the 
country's extensive sexual. perversion as 
well. (Britain's morc versatile prostitutes 
offer, as a common practice, such varia- 
tions on the sexi 
for both sadists 
homosexuality has lor 


morc 


rec 


corrupt 


sm охе 


іс 


theme as flagelli 
1 masochists. 


nd 
been referred to 


as “the English vice") England is 

di ig а Sexual Revolutio 
own —about which a great deal is bei 
written — that should markedly reduce 
such deviations in the future and the 
chance of any more such pathetic public 


CIGARETTE HOLDER 
with 10 King-Size filters 


dis, 
Kc 


ays as the Stephen Ward—Christine 
ler- Mandy! Rice-Davies trial. 

There is still a substantial amount of 
| sick. sin-laden and seusitional sex avail- 
able in every medium of mass communi- 
cation here in the United. States, but 
there is à growing willingness on the 
ран of many to accept s ply 

d honestly of huma 
experience that need be neither sacred 
nor profane. 
= Millions of Ame zn 
sexual realism of books long suppressed 
as obscene without turning into a nation 

of sex fiends. 
ı the one I 
such tired t 
tity, 


їз are rcadi 


Fig Se Яй» 


40*/, LARGER FOR MORE EFFICIENCY 


d, we are still offered 
s The Case for Chas- 
nting by The Reader's 
illy 
ı that periodical in 1937, with 
troduction by the editors that 
proclaims, “The problem it discusses is 


One lookat a used DE-NICOTEA filter 


is more convincing than a thousand 


words, because you can actually see 


the omount of irritants it removes 


as acute as it was ЭЭ years ago, and the 
from cigarette smoke. FOR REAL PRO- sound advice cont: ı the article is, 
TECTION, USE DE-NICOTEA. if D 4. more р с. Which 


places the Digest in the ir posi- 
tion of apparently believing that sex hz 
stood still in America for the last 2: 
years; the article is as "pertinent" toc 
it was in 1937 ouly in the s 
that it was inaccurate, opinionated pop- 
pycock then, and still is now. (sce The 


AT MOST DRUG and TOBACCO COUNTERS 


Send for Free De-Nicotea Folder, write Dept. 
Alfred Dunhill, 11 Eest 26th Street, N, Y. C. 


ALFRED DUNHILL OF LONDON 
New York, Philo., Chic., San Francisco, Bev. Hills 


Playboy Philosophy. July 1963.) 

In contrast, the August 2, 1963 
of Time includes a story that amounts to 
n editorial endorsement of that. grand 
old dame of English pornography, Fanny 
Hill Said Time, reporting on 
York trial in which а new edition of the 
book (published by G. P. Putnam's Sons) 
was held to be obscene: “Just when it 
was becoming fashionably sick, someone 
had to come a ad remind. every: 
body that sex can be fum. The con 
temporary five-foot shell abounds in 
incest. lewd vagrancy. homosexual hanky 
and other subur- 
cies. Such misdemeanors 
seem thoroughly neurotic compared to 
if repetitive dalliance of Fa 
Hill. heroine of John Cleland's Memoirs 
of a Woman of Pleasure. . 

“In an age when even serious authors 
treat the I act in terms of 
history or social protest (and the Olympia 
Pres’ professional pornographers are 
driven to exploit De Sadean whips- 
as and int ple interlacings 
1 of the uncensored р 
hiorward. heterosex- 
ality must. come shock. None of 
her escapades, for ce, un- 
savory as the AC-DC boy-meets-boy en- 
counters of James Baldwin's Another 
Country, nor are they ibbily explicit 
as the climac ssage in Up: 
dike’s Rabbit, Run. 

“Certainly Fanny was no common 
harlot. Her Memoirs combine literary 
grace with a disarming enthusiasm 
an activity which is, after all, only 
шап 

This remarkably 
fom Time ollers ev 
far society has na 
sexi 


ме 


sexu 


a case 


ate mul 


for 


refreshing t 
lence of just how 
led on the road to 
ıl liberation, when it is remembered 
that only а dozen years ago sister-publi 
nion Life decried the obscenity in 
the award-winning best sellers From 
Here do Eternity by James Jones and 
The Naked and the Dead by Norman 
Mailer, in an editorial titled, 
Here to Obscenity. 

It should also be remembered that in 
writing his powerful war novel, Mailer, 


pute 


om 


no pusyfoot among contemporary 
thors. felt obliged to use fuz and fug 


lor d 
worl 
selrespecting wr 


more conventional. four-letter 
ud its gerund — à compromi: 
1 ol reali: M 
included. would think of making tod 
Mark Twain wrote, “Man has been 
aled , but the 
as been c 
the weeps, but severi 
the others do that. Man is merely 
exclusively the Immodest Animal, 
he is the only one with a soiled т 


no 


for 
ud 


the only one under the dominion of a 


false shame." The Society for Inde 
секу w Naked Animals — an organiza- 


tion with the avowed purp 


of putting 


pants on all domestic animals (“for 
the sake of decency") — notwithstandi 

man suffers from a good deal less false 
modesty and shame today than he did in 
Samuel Cleme me. The modern 
young male, and bis female counterpart 
seem perfectly able to look at the nudity 
ol a fellow human being — even one as 
uncommonly voluptuous as Jayne Man 
without being reduced to an 
estate of blushes, smirks and 
snickers, or developing any of the symp- 
toms of satyriasis or nymphomania. The 
present generation is being given ample 
opportunity to prove its new-found m 
unity. too, as there is more human 
nakedness ou display nowad. 
ever hefore in the n vines and news- 
papers people choose to read and the 
motion pictures they go to sec. And 
were not even considering the problen 
of all those unelothed domestic a s 
running around. loose — we'll let SINA 
worry about that. 

There cau be no question but that we 
are living, in а period of marked social 
change. In such a time of transition, 
some portions of society are certain то 
lag behind the rest. It would. be nice to 
believe that the entire Jayne Манаа 
incident could. be explained on this 
basis: that those responsible for the ar 
rest are simply somewhat "behind the 
times," as it were, and not aware of the 
changes that have taken place so recently 
in contemporary standards. No such pos- 
itive view seems possible, Nor when the 
June issue of PLAYROY — or any issue of 
PLAYBOY — is so far removed [rom any- 
thing even remotely resembling the truly 
obscene. And not when riayney is so 
very much an accepted part of the con 
temporary s 

When we began publishing the 
zine nearly 10 years ago, it was 
much further ahead of the mainstream 
of contemporary taste and opinion than 
it is today. The publicati n the 
forefront of a remarkable sociosexual 


evolution that was then just beginning 
to gain real momentum. PLAYMOY has 


continued to press forward in the years 
major part of society | 


between, but 
moved forward with il. This sl 
PLAYBOY'S position, relative to the 
society, can be seen both in terms of the 
magazinc's own i 
in the diminishing contrast between the 
more controversial aspects of PLAYBOY'S 
editorial content and that of а great 
many other suddenly liberalized U.S. 


creased acceptance and 


publications. 

The circulation success of the maga- 
zine is by now legend: from a primary 
readership of just over 50,000 copies for 
its first issue, in December 1953, eravnovy 
has grown average 
the first 
six months of 1963, with the largest sec 
lership of any 


this lion 
wears 
a Rose 


and so should you. This Rose is magnificently tailored in Битые 
worsted to arm you to the teeth with distinction. When you feel 
the urge to express your reserve power of good taste, choose 
your favorite suit model from Rose Brothers superb collection 
of luxurious Surrétwill worsteds, At fine stores everywhere, or ROSE 
write Rose Brothers, Inc., 275 7th Avenue, New York 1, N. Y. BROTHERS. 


91 


PLAYBOY 


92 


jor magazine 
Total n 


n America, pushing its 
nber of readers cach month to 
more than 15 million, This is community 
acceptance, in a very real sense, (In an 
amicus brief filed by a "Group for the 
Defense of Li and Artistic Frec- 
the а Tropic of Cancer 
case discussed earlier, the sale of th t 
ter in question w ly used as 
evidence of its having met with commu- 
псе. The brief stated: 7... 
over one million copies of the book 
have been distributed over the counters 
оГ bookstores and libraries throu; 
the Папа... . Mthough we would not 
cite such populari a necessary cri- 
terion ol а work's social importance 
seems to us undeniably sufficient.” 
-million-copy sale of Tropic 

i what must the contin 
nonth-out. sale of now и 
on copies of rrAvuoy each 


dom" i 


hout 


hing contrast between this 
publications in the editor 
ch to sex and nudity is equally 
evident — and further proof of ravaov's 
position, as reg: 
munity standards 
fered considerable evidence of this 
toward 
in this and previous 
Philosophy, in almost е 


area of 
ication — books, magazines, mov- 


commu 
ies and television. 
When pLaynoy first began publishing, 
the appearance of à nude photograph in 
a major Ameri real 
rarity — not only in the family-oriented 
and wome vines, but in the men's 
‘The calendar. com- 
pany that owned the now-famous nude of 
Marilyn Monroe, that became PLAVMOY'S 
first Playmate of the Month, was so in- 
timidated by the U.S. Post Office that 
lar they 


was 


T 


overprimted on it Contrast that Post 
Olfice position toward. nudity with the 
present administrative attitude, whereby 


last May to Sundial and Nude Living, 
two American nudist magazines in wi 
both sexes appear together in photo- 
phs completely naked with the pubic 
as exposed. 

While ne major magazine has scc 
fit to go this far with its nudity. figure 
photography is appearing with i 
creased. regularity in the fami 
women's magazines and. the 
the men's magazines now on the news- 
stands of the nation include photog! 
оГ undressed. females in every issu 

Harper's Bazaar published a full-pa 
nude of high fashion model 
Chr Paolozzi carly 
photographer Richard Avedon 
inally intended to submit to rLAvuoY 


(see Playboy After Hours, April 1962 
it provoked a stormy reaction in the 
women's fashion world, but primarily be- 
cause the Contessa is so very well known 
in high society. This May Vogue printed 
а doubl , full-color figure study that 
could have passed for 
mate and it produced no 
cism; and Bazaar bounced back wi 
black and-white nude 
lar success. 

Show Publisher Fr 
ently learned a lesson from his brief 
expericnce as editor of rravnov's now 
defunct Show Business Hlustrated, for hot 
on the heels of his twoissue. diatribe 
iust "The Playboy Club (he was a key 


nk Gibney appar- 


hold while wor 
тылу, but became a Bu 
alter moving over to Show), 


ried a picture of G 
naid. 


with n 
brassiere and 
revealed below so 
more would have matched 
iximum exposure of Nude Living. 
Time has taken to running photos of 
ipe tomato or two almost ever 
| they olfered readers a nude 
back shot of actress Carroll Baker (in a 
scene from her latest movie) in the issu 
of July 5, followed by a bare-bosomed 
Fraiilein at a Bavarian health resort on 
August 16. 

Among the n all but 
the smallest handful publish seve 
pages of nude photographs every issue 
and a great many of them make PLAYBOY 
look like ping by cc 
parison, Posing in the altogether 
become so respectable a part of contem 
porary mores that well 
ars like Arlene Da 


azines for me 


sood House 


v strip for spe 
zine spreads. (In this issue, 
PLAYBOY presents a nude picture могу оп 
Martinelli: w next few 
we will publish similar features 
on Kim Novak. Susan Strasberg, Ursula 
Andress and Mamie Van Doren.) 
y has become an accepted y 
American magazine publishing and mov- 
ies n cv 
stars like Liz Taylor ir 
dollar Cleopatra to the unknown starlets 
in the most inexpensive “nudie” films, 
the girls are baring their all to boost the 
box-olfice appeal of their pictures. More 
significantly. in terms of the Jayne Mans. 
ficld-Praynoy arrest, the Chicigo Censor 
Board left uncut the seminude scenes in 
Cleo; d nude shot of Marilyn Monroe 
Marilyn: the male nudity in The 
Above, the Mud Belo 
bedroom scenes of June Ritchie in the 
English A Kind of Loving, and of Ron 
Schneider in the Talian Boccaccio 770 — 
both of which involved men (see En 
rope's New Sex Sirens, PLAYBOY, Sep- 
tember 1963). Chicago's censors have also 


hin the 


hy 
id the. nude 


approved the showing of a le 
of nudist and 
past year, with extensive female nu 
in scenes including men. 

But if nudity is now quite common in 
шо pictures, bedroom embraces. in 
adult cinema are more the rule than the 
exception. Indeed, in foreign. films im- 
ported to the U.S., it is diflicult to find 
an example that does not include at 
least one tussle in, on, or near а sack. 
The Lovers, The Cousins, The Balcony. 
From a Roman Balcony, The L-Shaped 
Room. Shoot the Piano Player, Seven 
Capital Sins, Five Day Lover, The Joker, 
Odd Obsession, Jules and Jim, The 
Truth. Phaedra and Never on Sunday — 
all included tomfoolery twist the sheets. 
In Les Liaisons Dangereuses, French film 
маг Gerard Philippe played mixed dou- 
bles in bed with the bare Jeanne Valerie 

nd Annette Vadim. 

xd in the same month that we were 
sted for those photographs of a nude 
Jayne Mansfield uying unsuccessfully to 
Mice her hubby into coming to bed, the 
Chicago Censor Board approved the 
showing of Sweet Ecstasy, in which sec- 
worthy sexpot Elke Sommer is decked 
by a male member of a boat party, has 
her clothes torn open, and is thoroughly 
andled in the passionate, horizon- 
tal embraci ensues (see photos, 
page 82): in a previous scene on the same 
afternoon, Miss Sommer rolls about on 
а sandy beach with a dilferc 
pal and consummates the sex act (w 
the camera, in а lastminute. displa 
modesty. pans to the rolling surf). 

The beach scene i pel Ecstasy ve- 
minded us of the tender seduction in the 
and in the Swedish film One Summer 
of Happiness, and we recalled that the 
Chicago. Tribune had thought it per- 
fectly permissible to run a photo, in the 
iday roto section of that conservative 
family newspaper, showing the young 
couple in а nude embrace. 

In our 


thy list 
films during the 
y 


nudie’ 


а 


sficld pictor 
ЧЧ. Tommy Noo 
y dressed and there was по em. 
yne’s movie husband was seated 
ight, on the edge of the bed, read 


, аз 
П 


ig. 
In the same month as our arrest, two 
other national magazines ran photo. 


graphs of couples in bed: Esquire 
The Saturday Evening Post (honest). 
The Post picture, 
showed Han Fleming: sh agent 
Bond, as portrayed by Sean Con- 
y in a scene from 007's second film 
ture, From Russia, with Love 
tucked under the covers with his latest 
adversary, a sensuous blonde. The July 
issue of Esquire had, as its lead. feature, 
a picture profile of hip-beat author John 
Filler: in the last photograph, Filler is 
tucked under the covers with his hip 

(concluded on page 230) 


ne 


SS SS 
EADS PLAYBOY? 
A young man who keeps in step with the changing tempo of the sartorial scene, the PLAYBOY reader is 
as current with the model he wears as the model he dates. And whether dressed for business or pleasure, 
the impression he makes is impeccably correct. Facts: 63% of PLAYBOY readers own five or more suits. 
Over 70% paid $71 or more to suit the season. And if the shoe fits, he wears it. 30% own five or more 
pairs. 61% paid $20 or more when pairing up. 68% are fully accredited at leading department and 


clothing stores. It's truly a fashionable man’s world. Ask the PLAYBOY reader—a man whose appear- 
ance is tailored to set fashion trends. (Source: 1962 Playboy Male Reader Survey, Benn Management Corp.) 


Advertising Offices: New York » Chicago + Detroit » Los Angeles « San Francisco » Atlanta 


fiction By BERNARD WOLFE 


4 Mo 


[£1 


4 


| 


cett 


КТ! 


\ 


` THE GOING PRICE FOR ADORATION 


poised between devouring love and destroying hate, the 
screaming crowd burst through civilization's thin veneer 
“GORDON RENGS!” Shelley Makravetes chirped at me over the phone. “Give a listen to this, Gordon 
Rengs! About that Roar of Charlemagne script you did for me two years ago? We're finally going with 
boy! With Anson Luddy in the lead, no less! We're shooting exteriors at the Pacoima ranch, and 
Luddy'd like you standing by, for say two months, at your usual absurd price, of course, in case we 
need any hurry-up script changes! We're budgeted at five mill on this one, Gordie, boy! This is in 
the category of very large! An all-out, and pure family-type, can't miss, Gord!" i 
Two smoggy Mondays later, at the studio ranch, | met Anson Luddy in the Brobdingnagian 
7 flesh. The whole downtown shopping district of Charles the Great's family-type walled home town of 


PLAYBOY 


Frankfurt am Main Street had been re- 
constituted there (“Instant Frankfurt," 
Shelley announced to me with the crea- 
хог pride in his finished product); sud 
denly, from out of the mossy old castle 
that apparently was the city hall, there 
next to the municipal parking lot, came 
striding this improbable family-type tor of 
aman, dressed in homespun tunic, breast- 
e and visored helmet — part viking, 
part Olympic discus thrower, part John- 
ny Appleseed, part Paul Bunyan — with 
maybe a smattering of heist-artist Ster- 
ling Hayden and the merest smidgen of 
trail-boss John Wayne; his jaialai scoop 
of a hand was held out to me in what 1 
took to be a welcoming. 

No wonder Anson Luddy looked larger 
than life: he was larger than any life 
you see оп your daily rounds, by several 
inches, in any dimension you'd care to 
name. There was no mystery about Shel- 
ley Makravetes’ willingness to hold up 
production indefinitely, and to keep 
reshuflling all the other expensive ingre- 
dients in his multimillion golly-gee fam- 
ily-type pie, in order to get this scowling 
t for his leading man. It made no 
тепсе whether Luddy played Gen- 
ghis Khan or Beanstalk Jack, Robin 
Hood or John Glenn: all over the world 
people by the massy millions would 
throng to any theater that had. Luddy's 
incitement of a name on its marquee 
to see Luddy, more Luddy, nothing but 
Luddy. 

So. at 44, I took hold of the first hand 
ever extended in my direction by а mo- 
vie star of the first magnitude, and lis- 
tened to his growl of а voice 
"You're a man I've been wanting to 
meet.” The vowels came at me rough- 
edged and slow, as though reluctant 


to leave his bullish throat. 
“Oh? You mean, you like the script?" 


pe” From their vantage point 
well over sixfeet up, his crisp blue eyes 
plied me with joyless questions. "Wasn't 
talking about fool scripts.” He seemed 
let down. He thinned his lips, which, 1 
knew from three-dozen movies, generally 
hung in meaty immobility. too heavy 
with programmatic standolfishness to al- 
ter with the more superficial play of 
mood. “Al right. If we're talking mo: 


а story, words that almost make 
dlergarten fabrication sound true. 
words mediocre enough not to upstage 
the actors; which means, | think its a 


good script, а pts go. What do you 


“It’s complicated, Originally, Shelley 
had Tony Curtis in mind, so 1 wrote 
Chark . Tony Cur 
tis as Ch c would have been a 


good Tony Curtis, and you as Charle- 
magne will be a damned-good Anson 
Luddy." 

"Meaning: this picture isn't about 
rlemagne, it's about Anson Luddy?” 
f 1 understand the logic of the 
movie business at all, it adds up to thi 
Charlemagne can't pack them in at the 
box office, but Anson Luddy can and 
does, so we call our hero Charlemagne 
and make him come out Anson Luddy. 
With this logic in mind, and intending 
no sarcasm, I can honestly say: I'm glad 
you're doing the part.” 

“Td return the dubious compliment 
and say I'm glad to be doing it,” he said, 
ing his eyes, "but I don't think 
you give a damn one way or the other." 

With that, he squinted provocatively 
at me for a moment, then turned and 
made his ponderous, cannonball-shoul- 
dered, sequoia-thighed way to his mobile 
dressing room, where he sat on the 
stairs, pulled a book from under his 
chest armor, and settled down with 
grouty lips to read. From time to time 
he raised his blue-sherbet frosts of eyes 
to consider me, but whether this was 
contemplation or derision, I had no 
idea. 


c 


narro, 


For the next two weeks Luddy stayed 
in his corner whenever he wasn't doing 
а scene, reading, and I sat a cautious 
half-block away, satisfied to reinforce the 
psychic distance between us with some 
of its physical counterpart, doing my 
best not to go to sleep, During those 10 
working days I was asked to change 
exactly seven words in the script; in one 
case an substituted for a “i 
and in another, after lengthy conlerring 
a “these” was made a “those.” Comput 
ing it on a piecework basis, the studio 
was paying me exactly $571.43 for each 
word change, more than Lincoln had 
been reimbursed for the entire Gettys- 
burg Address or the English barons lor 
their superior phrasemaking im the 
Magna Charta; and as for the inspired 
prophet who inscribed those two Letters 
to the Corinthians, | doubt that he re- 
ceived for his total effort a royalty check 
anywhere close to my rate per word. The 
literary market, 1 reflected, is nothing if 
not erratic. 

On the moming of the third Monday, 
Shelley came over to the discwheeled 
tumbrel in the shadow of which 1 
stretched out on the grass doing my 
usual crossword puzzle. He patted one 
of the twitchy Arabian steeds hitched to 
the expertly mded-up conveyance 

“When's the last time you got paid 
this kind of coin for not writing?” 

Every time I work on a movie 1 get 
paid this kind of for not writing. 
"The industry won't come of age until 
it gives up the pretense that the scenar- 
iss job has anything in common with 
writing. 


suggestions for a more fitting 
term?’ 

А few come to mind. Creative Тур. 
ing. Tenoning and Mortising with 
Words for Fun and Profit. The Syllabi- 
fication of the Inconsequential in Con- 
versational Mode. We'll find something." 

"A meat cleaver down on your meat 
head, buddy-boy.” Shelley brooded for a 
while. "That Anson worries me. How 
much horseback fighting and tearassing 
around parapets сап you do on Metre- 
cal?" He drifted off. 

‘Two days later. when lunch break 
came, 1 went over as usual to the truck 
that served us as commissary, a sort of 
Moncl-metal chuck wagon, got my card- 
board plate heaped high with short- 
order specialties (Salisburysteak patty, 
twist of carrot, spill of cottage cheese, 
soggy pincapple ring) and walked back 
to my retreat alongside my tumbrel. In 
a moment a gravelly voice from behind 
ground out, “You're not going to eat 
that slop?” 

It was Luddy, in a sort of burlap 
jerkin. 

"Don't know what else to do with it," 

I said. 
"I can think of something,” Luddy 
said. He reached for the plate, went 
over to the horses tethered before the 
cart, and offered them my lunch. The 
animals jawed the garbage out of sight 
in two seconds, and looked as pleased 
as if they had just eaten uncorrupted 
high-protein gras. Luddy came back 
and flopped on the lawn next to me. 
“T'I sce that you get some decent chow 
today. | should have invited you to 
lunch before, but І had some reading 
to do." Hc held up a bock, one of mine, 
Messages, Hinis. "Hard to get, and hard 
to read.” 

“Hard to write, too.” He'd 
so far off base that 1 had no furthi 
to offer. 

“I can believe it. Parts of it have bite. 
especially the parts about Spain. But you 
go too far with the word games. The 
words can get in front of the people.” 

Could Т have put it better myself? 
"The dodge of a writer in his first grop- 
ings: the hideout of style. If you don't 
see your people clearly, weave embroi- 
deries of words around them: diver- 
sionary maneuver. Most books are about 
words rather than people, I'd say. B 
cause most writers are better at weaving 
words than seeing people." I followed 
his power-shovel hands as they tried to 
restore order to his blond hair. “I know 
the book's not саву going. All the same, 
it shouldn't take two-and-a-half weeks 
to —" 

“Don’t get me wro 
terday amd fin 
started shoot 


nce we 


Don't you know you can get 
blackballed — (continued on page 216) 


"Somehow, I can't see this lasting . . .” 


98 


* LAUDABLE PURPOSE of frecing the 
ıd the beautiful from the tangled 
skein of inhibition is best accomplished, 
folklore has it, by the 10-0-1 martini. 
For boors, perhaps. For those who 
would dynamite a trout pool. yes. For 
gentlemen, no. Even for the mercly 
sophisticated, no. Alcohol in volume may 
азе the carnal appetite, but it raises 


hell with participatory appreciation. And 
even if the bascball-bat approach be con- 
sidered (as it may have to be, granted, 


in very special cases) the martini, the 


of choice. The martini looks and tastes 
like what it is: a cold anesthetic. As 
suong and innocenttasting a drink as is 
known to the civilized world is this, 
invented in the 1930s by a man behind 
the Wrigley Building bar in Chicago and 
called A Raincheck for the Departing 
Guest: 


1 part tequil 
*4 Fulstrength Scotch (114.2 proof) 
та Drambuie 


Juice of half a lime. 


T his confection, you will note, is, save 
а teaspoon of lime juice, all alcohol; but 
unlike a martini, a Raincheck tastes like 
fruit punch. The Scotch kills off the 
tequila; the Drambuie, being a Scotch- 
base liqueur, smooths down the whisky; 
the lime juice cuts back the sweetness of 
the Drambuie and lends the jolly fruit- 
cup overtaste. Most drinks touted as 
strong are either nothing of the kind or 
else they taste like blowtorch fuel. The 
martini is a strong drink, and the taste 
tells you so. The original zombie was a 
strong drink, and the sheer volume of it 
told you so. The Raincheck is a strong 
drink and it warns you not at all. (It 
should be made with Fulstrength Scotch 
only, and you may have a little trouble 
finding that brand today. The best of 
British luck to you.) 

Another virtue of the Raincheck is 
that the inclusion of Drambuie in the 
formula gives it a foothold in the infi 
nitely interesting world of liqueurs, bran- 
dies and cordials. It's strange that we 
make comparatively so little use of 
liqueurs in this country. "Their variety 
endlessly rewards exploration. Many 
have fabulously interesting histories, and 
a modicum of knowledge about them can 
proliferate into remarkably interesting 
conversational discourse, And not 
true that there is only one aphrodisiac 
among liqueurs (absinthe) and that one 
banned. 411 liqueurs. cordials and crèmes 
are aphrodisiacs. Not chemically, but in 
the subtler sense: students of such mat- 


LIQUEURS: AN APPRECI 


a connoisseur’s tour through the exotic, the 


ATION BY KEN W. PURDY 


esoteric, the elysian in after-dinner nectars 


ters know that all smooth, spicy, scented 
substances are aphrodisiacs, foods as well 
as liquors. A grilled double lamb chop is 
not aphrodisiac but lobster newburg is. 

The well-tended private bar has a 
capacious liqueur section, and the bottles 
with which it is stocked can be dismally 
dull or most intriguing, an accurate re- 
flector of the personality of he who has 
done the stocking. A bottle of cognac, one 
of BRB and а flagon of domestic crème de 
menthe do not constitute a gentleman's 
array of liqueurs. A more nearly c 
plete catalog impends. Meanwhile, this is 
as good a place as any in which to state 
that the following discourse does mot 
constitute a total listing of the world's 
liqueurs, or of those liqueurs available in 
the domestic market; it is not a listing of 
anything save what has interested and 
pleased me alone. I have made no attempt. 
at achieving a complete encyclopedia and 
if 1 do not include your favorite eau de 
vie, or the one in which you have a сот. 
mercial interest, kindly do not send your 
complaint to me. 

Exotics like barack-palinka and Calisay 
and mandarine are tempting, but the 
basics, the foundation stones, should be 
considered first, and the first of the basics 
is the prince of liqueurs, Chartreuse. 
"There are two kinds of Chartreuse, and 
all yellow Chartreuse, according to an 
ancient saying, would be green if it could. 
Green Chartreuse runs 110 proof, which 
means that it is 55 percent alcohol, and 
contains, according to various authorities, 
130 or 230 or 136 separately identifiable 
ingredients, most of them herbs. It is 
unique. The formula is one of the world’s 
best kept secrets, and the liqueur cannot 
be duplicated without it: Chartreuse has 
defied analysis by every means presently 
known to us. Yellow Chartreuse is 86 
proof and its formula lists 110 ingredi- 
ents, it is said. Although the lesser of the 
two, yellow Chartreuse is probably the 
best of the liqueurs jaunes or yellow 
liqueurs, a category that takes in all the 
herb- and seed-based forms. (Among com- 
mon liqueur ingredients which an expert 
taster can quickly pick out: fennel, 
anise, sage, ortisroot, ginger, cloves, nut- 
meg, cardamom, calamus root, lemon 
balm, génépi, angelica root, arnica, amber, 
cinnamon, caraway, aloes, the pits of 
almonds, peaches, apricots, plums, cher- 
ries, citrus rind, orange blossom, cacao, 
cofice, tca, sugar, honcy, gentian, worm 
wood, rose petals, violets, hyssop, myrtle, 
rosemary, sage, mint, grapefruit.) 

Chartreuse is strong stufi, tar stronger, 
at 110 proof, than brandy or bourbon, 
although a long way under the brutal 
150-proof (continued on page 204) 


99 


PLAYBOY 


“Thank heaven there are just so many full moons in a year!” 


XO TIME FOR THE BILLIARD BALLET 


this was it, they decided, this would liberate them from the rat race 


DRIVING HOME, Ray said, “Want to stop at the 
Hibiscus for a nightcap or something?” 

“A drink? Just before bed? I don't think so. 
Unless you particularly want one for some rea 
son." 

"No. We could make it coffee if you'd rather. 
They have a coffee shop.” 

She didn't answer immediately, and when he 
glanced at her the corners of her mouth were 
bunched in a repressed smile. Quickly she said, 
“All right, let's stop if you like. Only I think РИ 
have tea; coflee keeps me awake." 

"What's funny?" 

"Nothing." 

"Come on, Sophia." 


ct 


She let her mouth relax in a laugh. "You really 
don't know? Well, it's just that you've started 
the Sunday-night Stall; I've been wondering what 
it would be this week.” 

“The what?” He touched the brake, then 
curved onto the turnoff for the pink-neoned 
motel-bar-and-restaurant on the paralleling serv. 
ice road. 

“Well, last Sunday when we got home from 
the movies it was a sudden revival of interest in 
chess. Since it was 11:40 at night and we don't 
much like chess or really know how to play it and 
J had no idea of where the set was anyway, I sug- 
gested calling it a day and getting to sleep. In- 
stead, you reread most (continued on page 156) 


fichon By JACK FINNEY 


101 


102 


“J went to the craziest party tonight! We played а даа thah: E 
sort of like Musical Chairs. It's called Musical Beds . 


103 


how to talk dirty and influence people 


part one of an autobiography by lenny bruce 


introduction: Once upon a time, when every- 
one else was afraid to speak out about a certain infal- 
lible emperor as he paraded grandly through the 
streets, there was one little boy who insisted that the 
emperor was naked. That little boy grew up to be 
Lenny Bruce, the most controversial — and the most 
busted — comic of our generation. 

Today, almost every time Bruce opens his mouth 
or takes his medicine he gets arrested, either for ob- 
scenity or on a narcolics charge. 

His narcotics busts have occurred in Philadelphia 
(dismissed), Miami (dismissed), Van Nuys, California 
(dismissed), and in Hollywood (convicted). In the 
Hollywood case earlier this year, a jury found him 
guilty despite conflicting expert testimony; two doc- 
tors stated that a series of standard chemical tests 
proved that he was not an addict, but two psychiatrists 
who interviewed him briefly said he was. Instead of 
sentencing Bruce to jail, the judge invoked Califor- 
nia’s “Department 95” which provides for indefinite 
hospitalization for a period of up to 10 years. The case 
has been appealed and, as of this writing, Bruce ts 
free and working. 

Why all those narcotics arrests? Bruce says emphat- 
ically that he takes only certain legally prescribed 
drugs for physical trouble related to a couple of bouts 
with hepatitis years ago and carries with him letters 
by three physicians to that effect. But the letters carry 
no weight with vice-squad officers whose real interest 
in him, Bruce says, is a desire to somehow punish him 
for his night-club material. 

There does seem to be a correlation: besides ob- 
scenity arrests in San Francisco (acquitted), Chicago 
(convicted in absentia, one year and $1000, under ap- 
peal), and Los Angeles (two cases dismissed, one pend- 
ing), Lenny has also been the target of police warnings, 
visitations and investigations in almost every city that 
he's worked. Night after night, teams of detectives 
loom in his audiences, eagerly keeping score of his 
“dirty” words. (Since one of the legal criteria for de- 
termining obscenity is the appeal to prurient interest, 
Bruce is fond of saying: “If any of my words stimulate 
police officers sexually, they ате in a lot of trouble.") 

The word watchers and vice raiders have also taken 
to hitting Bruce in the bankbook, using their flashing 
badges to badger nervous night-club owners. In Van- 
couuer last year, a club owner regretfully closed Bruce 
out after local officials threatened to tear up the club's 
license. The same thing happened in Australia. And, 
earlier this year, Bruce wasn't even allowed to enter 
England. There is no way of knowing just how many 
potential U.S. bookings have dried up under official 
heat, but it is safe to say thal (1) the majority of Amer- 
ican club owners admire Bruce but (2) they're now 
afraid to touch him. 

Police action against Bruce has become so consistent 
that Variety deemed it newsworthy to teport that he 
was not arrested during his engagement earlier this 


A group of my North Bellmore schoolmates 
who may someday turn up on a jury. 


“How come your name is 
Schneider and you use the 
name Bruce?” Because Leon- 
ard Alfred Schneider sounded 
too Hollywood, 


A girl in every port. 


Portrait of a post-War va- 
grant. I wanted to look like 
Warner Baxter or Roland 
Young but, alas, the com- 
ment from Aunt Mema was: 
“You look like a pimp.” 


year at San Francisco's Off Broadway. 

But Bruce has not compromised his performances. 
On opening night at Off Broadway, а man in the 
audience suddenly hollered out with spontaneous sin- 
cerity: “Lenny, you're honest!” 

That salute has become the rallying cry of the many 
perceptive people who admire and respect the man 
upon whom Time magazine originally hung the alba- 
tross label of sick comedian — “the sickest of them all.” 
To his supporters, Bruce's brand of humor is not an 
illness but a potent antibiotic, capable of attacking — 
and perhaps curing — our real social ills. 

“Lenny Bruce is here to talk about the phony, 
frightened, lying world,” wrote the Chicago Tribune's 
Will Leonard scant days before Bruce's obscenity ar- 
rest at Chicago's Gate of Horn this year. And Richard 
Christiansen, in the Chicago Daily News, termed Bruce 
“the healthiest comic spirit of any comedian working 
in the United States today.” His act, said Christiansen, 
“is right smack at the center of a true comedy that 
strips all prejudices and reveals man’s inhumanity to 
man.” 

Total honesty, of course, is not necessarily total 
wisdom or even total goodness. In Bruce, a compul- 
sive, albeit honest, desire to develop the inherent 
humor in macabre situations is often misunderstood 
by literal-minded listeners. Accused of being sadistic 
in his comedy, he once replied: “If there is any sadism 
in my work, I hope Т... well, if there is, І wish some- 
one would whip me with a large belt that has a big 
brass buckle." 

Unable to grasp the subtle side of Bruce, his enemies 
have been forced to attack the one thing about him 
that they do understand — his vocabulary. Much like 
the militant folk of Butte County, California, who 
succeeded in having several copies of the scholarly, 
670-page Dictionary of American Slang destroyed be- 
cause it contained some words they considered obscene, 
many Bruce-haters would like to see him burned be- 
cause he, too, contains a few dirty words. 

But there is a reason for Bruce’s “dirty” words and, 
fortunately, there are still some articulate people who 
see it. Columnist Ralph J. Gleason, writing in the 
San Francisco Examiner, put it this way: “That Bruce 
can be hilariously, brilliantly funny without the use 
of his steaming vocabulary is absolutely true. But it 
also seems to me that it is equally beside the point... 

“Lenny Bruce says that words are not, in and of 
themselves, dirty. That he illustrates this by the use 
of words you and 1 may think are dirty, and in the 
process cleanses these words, seems to me to have con- 
siderable reputable precedent, not the least of which 
is Lawrence and Joyce. 

“Bruce constantly, and in an infinite variety of ways, 
attacks the hypocrisy of today's world . . . Lenny Bruce 
makes you think and makes you examine your basic 
attitudes. This is upsetting. If it distresses you and you 
can't come to grips with it, then perhaps the hang-up 


is yours, not his.” 

Writing on the subject of Bruce and his vocabulary, 
Professor John Logan of the University of Notre Dame 
came to a similar conclusion: “I find him a brilliant 
and inventive moralist in the great tradition of comic 
satire — Aristophanes, Chaucer, Joyce. If his use of 
four-letter words constitutes obscenity, then those sat- 
irists were also obscene.” 

His curiosity aroused, he tells us, by all that he has 
read and heard about himself, Lenny Bruce recently 
decided to figure himself out by writing his own story. 

The result is an autobiography that is much more 
than merely factual — it is true. It explains the why 
and how of Lenny Bruce. And, because we believe 
that Bruce is worth understanding, we are proud to 
present — in this and forthcoming issues of PLAYBOY — 
his story. 

Any potential reader who may have been offended 
by Bruce’s language onstage is forewarned that “How 
to Talk Dirty and Influence People” is written in the 
same idiom. To have altered it would have been un- 
true to what he is. T 

As Kenneth Tynan, Britain's leading drama critic, 
has written: “We are dealing with an impromptu 
prose poet, who trusts his audience so completely that 
he talks in public no less outrageously than he would 
talk in private . . . Hate him or not, he is unique, and 
must be seen. 

Similarly, we believe, he must be read. 


LADIES WITH SHORT HAIR are Lesbians; colored men are 
built abnormally large; Filipinos come quick. 

Such bits of erotic folklore were related daily. to my 
mother by Mrs. Jancsky, a middle-aged widow who 
lived across the alley, despite the fact that she had 
volumes of books delivered by the postman every month 
— A Sane Sex Marriage, Ovid the God of Love, How to 
Make Your Marriage Partner More Compatible —which 
always arrived in a plain brown wrapper marked 
“Personal.” 

She would begin in a pedantic fashion, using aca- 
demic medical terminology, but within 10 minutes she 
would be spouting her hoary hornyisms. Their conver- 
sation drifted to me as I sat under the sink, picking at 
the ripped linoleum, day-dreaming and staring at my 
Aunt Mema's Private Business, guarded by its sink- 
mate, the vigilant C-N bottle, vanguard of Lysol, Zonite 
and Messingil. 

Aunt Mema's Private Business, the portable bidet, 
was a large red rubber bulb with a long black nozzle. I 
could never figure out what the hell it was for. I thought 
maybe it was an enema bag for people who lived in 
buildings with a super who wouldn't allow anyone to 
put up nails to hang things on; I wondered if it was the 
horn that Harpo Marx squeezed to punctuate his silent 
sentences. All I knew was that it definitely was not to 
be used for water-gun battles, (continued on page 108) 


GOLDENBERG AND THE 
THR RS 
UPON A TIME, there were three 
— Edward Behr, Keith Behr, 
nd Wesley Behr. They were brothers, 
they lived in adjoining houses in 
a small town in Connecticut. One 
ш. an hour after they all 
t the 8:08 for Manhatt E] 
brush salesman named Goldenberg 
called at Edward's house. 

When Edward's beautiful wife 
opened the door, Goldenberg forgot 
all about his brushes and started to 
make love to her. But she was too 
cold. Feeling insecure because of her 
seeming indifference toward him, 
Goldenberg seized his sample case 
and fled to the house next door. 

‘There he met Keith's wife, who was 
also very lovely. so he began to make 
love to her too. But she was too hot. 
Possessed by a deep-seated fear that 
he wouldn't be able to satisfy her, 
Goldenberg grabbed his sample case 
and went to the next house. 

When Goldenberg saw Wesley's 
comely wife, he made love to her also. 
And to his delight he found out that 
she was neither too cold nor too hot, 
but just right. So he spent the day 
with her. 

"That afternoon the three brothers 
returned from work a little earlier 
than usual. When Edward noticed 
that his wife's lipstick was smeared, 
he ran next door to Keith's house and 
said to his brother, "Somebody's been 
making love to my wife. 

Keith suddenly п 
wife's lipstick was also smeared. So he 
and Edward ran next door to Wes- 
ley’s house. “Somebody's been making 
love to my wife!” cried Keith to 
Wesley. 

The three of them began searc 
through the house for Wesley's wife. 
and they finally found her in the 
master bedroom. She was in what 
they refer to in nonfairy tales as a 
compromising position with Golden- 
berg. “Somebody's been making love 
to my wi с,” said Wesley. "And there 


tead of panicking, Goldenberg 
satay got out of the bed, began to 
nd said, "Did J have а day 

t 1 tried making love to 

fe, but she was too cold 

insecure with her (at this 

gly). Then T 

tried making love to Keith's wife, but 
she was too hot and 1 felt I couldn't 
satisfy her (at this Keith smiled in- 
wardly). And then T made love to 
Wesley's wife, and I found her to be 
her too cold nor too hot — but 

t right. And very obliging and co- 


FOR THE 


| JET SET 


satire 


i) By LARRY SIEGEL . 


in which some 
classic bedtime 


ут» are _ 
devilishly — 


d 


ve too, 1 might add. Now she 

g to divorce Wesley and 
leave with me for Australia, where I 
will open up a brush store.” 


So Edward and Keith killed him. 


CITRONELLA 


ON THE FRENCH RIVIERA there lived a 
beautiful young rich girl named 
Citronella. While her stepmother and 
two stepsisters were running around 
all the time having fun, Citronella 
was forced to sit home every day and 
supervise the staff of 24 household 
servants. 

One day the dashing Duke of Mes- 
mei decided to throw a beach 
party at his own private waterway — 
the Mediterranean Sea —and all the 
fair maidens from miles around were 
invited to attend. But when Citron- 
clla asked to go, her stepmother and 
stepsisters laughed at her. 

“Who ever heard of a household 
manager going to a beach party?" 
the: id. "Besides, we're all to wear 
bikinis, and you don't own one. You 
would look ridiculous im a bikini. 
Absolutely ridiculous! Nude you look 
great, but in a bikini... !" 

hen they laughed again, put on 
their bikinis, and went to the party. 

Poor Citronella. She had a ward 
robe of 135 gowns, but no bikinis. 
How she cried! How she wanted to 
go to the beach party! 

1 of a sudden a handsome young 
man with stenciled eyebrows and a 
neat pompadour appeared. 

“Who are you?" asked Citronclla. 

“I am the fairy dress designer,” 
said the young man. "Your step- 
mother just hired me this morning. 
I am sorry to see you look so sad. 
I will make you a bikini so that you 
can go to the beach party too.” 

In a flash he removed a bandanna 
that he wore around neck, and 
with the aid of a pair of scissors and 
needle and thread, he magically trans- 
formed it into a cunning bik 

Bursting with joy Citronella re- 
moved her clothes, and wi 
dress designer looked on in Keen 
she put on the bikini 

"You'd better return at 12 o'clock," 
he warned her, as she prepared to 
leave. 

"Why?" asked Citronella. 

"1 don't know," he “Te 
sounded like a good dramatic thing 
to say. Actually, as far as I'm con- 
cerned, you can stay a week if you 
like.” 

What a glorious time Citronella 
had at the beach party! She danced 
every dance (continued on page 238) 


PLAYBOY 


ow to talk di 


d that what it was for was none of my 
business. 

When you're eight years old, nothing 
is any of your business. 

All my inquiries about Aunt Mema's 
large red rubber bulb, or why the hairs 
came out of the mole on her face and 
nowhere else, or how come the talum 
powder stuck between her nay-nays, 
would get the same answer: “You know 
too much already, go outside and play.” 

Her fcar of my becoming a preteen 
Leopold or Loeb was responsible for 
my getting more fresh air than any other 


kid in the neighborhood. 


In 1932 you really heard that word a 
lot— "business" But it wasn't, "I won- 
der what happened to the business." 
Everyone knew what happened to the 
business. There wasn't any. hat dumb 
bastard President Hoover" was blamed 
for driving us into the Depression by 
people who didn't necessarily have any 
interest in politics, but just liked saying 
“That dumb bastard President Hoover.” 

I would sit all alone through endless 
hours and days, scratching out my home- 
work on the red Big Boy Tablet, in our 
kitchen with the shiny, flowered oil 
cloth, the icebox squatting over the pan 
that constantly overflowed, and the over- 
head light, bare save for a long brown 
string with a knot on the end, where 
flies fell in love. 

I sort of felt sorry for the damn flies. 
They never hurt anybody. Even though 
they were supposed to carry disease, 1 
never heard anybody say he caught any- 
thing from a fly. My cousin gave two 
guys the dap, and nobody ever whacked 
her with a newspaper. 

The desperate tension of the Depres- 
sion was lessened for me by my Philco 
radio with the little yellow-orange dial 
nd the black numbers in the center. 
а dear, sweet friend, my wooden 
radio, with the sensual cloth webbing 
that separated its cathedrallike archi- 
tecture from the mass airwave propa- 
ganda I was absorbing—it was the 
ng of an awareness of a whole 
new fantasy-culture 

“Jump on the Manhattan Merry-Go- 
Round—the Highway, the Byway, to 
New York Town . .." 

"And here comes Captain Andy now 


The biggest swinger was Mr. First- 
Nighter. He always had a car waiting 
for him. "Take me to the little theater 
off Times Square." Barbara Luddy and 
Les Tremayne. 

And Joe Penner said: “Hyuk, hyuk, 
hyuk." 

"With a cloud of dust, the speed of 
light and a hearty Hi-Yo Silver Away!” 

Procter & Gamble provided many 


108 Fulbright and Guggenheim fellowship 


(continued from page 106) 


winners with the same formative expo- 
sure. 

Long Island had loads of screen doors 
and porches. Screen doors to push your 
nose against, porches to hide under. 
It always smelled funny under the porch. 
I had a continuing vision of one day 
crawling under there and finding a large 
cache of money, which 1 would spend 
nobly on my mother and aunt — but not 
until they explained the under-the-sink 
apparatus; and, if there was enough 
money, perhaps Мета would even dem- 
onstrate it for me. 

1 would usually hide under the porch 
until it came time to “get it.” 

“You just wait till your father comes, 
then you're really gonna get it.” I al 
ways thought what a pain in the ass 
it would be to be a father. You have to 
work hard all day and then, instead of 
resting when you come home, you have 
to “give it" to someone. I didn't “get it” 
as much as other kids, though, because 
my mother and father were divorced. 

I had to wait until visiting days to 
“get 

I look back in tender relished anger, 
and I can smell the damp newspapers 
that waited on the porch for the Good- 
will — they never picked up anything we 
gave them because we never had it 
packed right—and I can hear the muf- 
fled voices through the kerosene stove. 

"Mickey, | don't know what we're 
going to do with Lenny. He was so fresh 
to Mema. You know what he asked?” 

Then they would all laugh hysteri- 
cally. And then my father would schlep 
me from under the porch and whack 
the crap out of me. 

For being fresh to Mema. For forget- 
ting to change my good clothes after 
school and catching my corduroy knick- 
ers on a nail. And for whistling. I would 
even “get it” for whistling. 

Т used to love to whistle. The first 
tune I learned to whistle 
“Amapola, my pretty 
1 received most of my musical education 
from the sounds that wafted from the 
alley of Angelo's Bar and Grille, Ladies 
Invited, Free Lunch. 1 was enthralled 
with the discovery of the jukebox: a 
machine that didn't sew, drill, boil or 
kill; a machine solely for fun. 


I almost always made a good score 
in back of Angelo's Bar and Crille; the 
loot consisted of deposit bottles. But 
there was a hangup— you could never 
find anyone willing to cash them. The 
most soughtafter prize was the large 
Hoffman bottle which possessed a five- 
cent. bounty. 

Mr. Geraldo, our neighborhood gro- 
ccr, cashed my mother's relief check and. 
so he knew we had barely enough money 
for staples. Therefore, the luxury of soda 


pop in deposit bottles was obviously 
far beyond our economic sphere. Besides, 
he couldn't relate to children. He dis- 
liked them because they made him 
nervous. 

"Could | 
please?” 

“No, the water's broken.” 

When I brought the bottles to him, 
he would interrogate me without an 
ounce of mercy. “Did you buy these 
herc? When did you buy them?” I 
would always fall prey to his Olga-of- 
Interpol tactics. “Yes, I think we bought 
them here.” Then he would finger- 
thump me on the back of the head, as 
if he were testing a watermelon. “Get the 
hell outta here, you never bought any 
soda here. I'm going to report your 
mother to the welfare man and have him 
take her check away.” 

1 could hear the welfare man saying 
to Меша: "Your nephew — you know, 
the one who knows too much already 
— he's been arrested on a Deposit Bot 
tle Charge. We have to take your check 
HEC 

Then where would Мета go? We 
would all have to live under the porch, 
with the funny smell. 

That was the big threat of the day 
— taking the check away. Generalities 
spewed forth: The goyim were always 
being threatened with the loss of their 
checks because of their presence in bars, 
and the Yidden for their presence in 
hanks. 

Another sure way for a family to lose 
its check was for any member to be 
caught going to the movies. But 1 didn't 
worry about that. My friend and 1 would 
sneak in, hide under the seats while the 
porter was vacuuming, and then, after 
the newsreel was over, we would pop 
up in the midst of Lou Lehr's "Mongees 
is da chrrazziest beeple . 

Anyway. my next stop with the de- 
posit bottles would be the King Kullen 
Market. The manager stared at me. I 
retumed his stare with no apparent 
guile. I tried to look as innocent and 
Anglo-Saxon as Jackie Cooper, pouting, 
pooched-out lip and all, but I'm sure 1 
looked more like a dwarfed Maurice 
Chevalier. 

“I bought them yesterday — 1. don't 
know how the dirt and cobwebs got in- 
side..." 

He cashed the bottles and I got my 
20 cents. 

L bought a Liberty magazine for my 
mother. She liked to read them because 
the reading time was quoted: “four min- 
utes, three seconds.” She used to clock 
herself, and her chief aim was to beat the 
quoted time. She always succeeded, but 
she probably never knew what the hell 
she had г 

1 bow 


have a glass of water, 


ht Aunt. Mema a 12cent jar of 
Vaseline. She ate it hy the ton. She w 
(continued on page 188) 


A PLAYBOY'S FALL & WINTER 
P FASHION FORECAST 


{Гы the definitive statement on the coming 


Йй trends in men's wear and accessories 
3 attire By ROBERT L. GREEN 
4 


Offbeat leanings are indulged at a fashionable fin-de-siécle saloon in burgeaning Old Town, Chic Sreenwich Villagey 


bohemian quorter—o bustling artists’ enclave of renovated brownstones, period ice-cream parlors, Gay Nineties grog 


shops, Victor s on wardion coffeehouses. Extravagant tippers ore impeccably attired im natural-shouldered, 


three-button jackets with center vents ond flop packets, | to r: white cashmere with blue-and-yellow averplaid, by Stanley 
Blocker, $85; black-and-white wool glen plaid, by Cricketeer, $40; blue Irish-wool herringbone, by Hanover Hall, $40. 199 


T. TWO MAJOR STY 


having made important contribu 


1с REVOLUTIONS of the past decade-and-a-half. (Ivy and Continental), each 


ns to а sound fashion profile, appear ready for a season of 
harmonious coexistence. There will be significant innovations in every aspect of men's clothing, 
of course, but this year there is no overriding trend transforming wellplanned wardrobes into 
apparel museums. Accordingly, if the soul of a man is his clothes, as Shakespeare once wrote, then 
this is an excellent year for sartorial soul-searching and a perfect time to increase the variety of duds 
hanging in your closet and stashed away in your dresser. 

You'll never have a better chance to augment your array of business apparel, because the vested 
three-button suit, reflecting regulation Ivy tailoring and various Continental modifications, remains 
essentially unchanged. Since last year’s natural shoulders and standard jacket lengths are still in force, 


the innovations are minor: slightly wider lapels and a moderately (text continued on page 116) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DON BRONSTEIN 


Revelers revive l'Âge d'Or amidst Old World opulence of The Midas Touch, onother vintage-decorated Second City spa, 
By contrast, guy at left cuts cleanly contemporary figure in noilheod worsted suit with one-button front, clover-showl lopels, 
no vents, quorter-top trouser pockets, by Monte Cristo, $125; cotton shirt with French cuffs, detachable collar, by Hathaway, 
$10. Welkin ringer hoisting goblet is no less vnimpeachobly accoutered in his three-piece Docron-wool herringbone suit 
with flap pockets, lop seams, center-hook vent, by North Park, $50; cotton-broadcloth shirt with topered body, by Aetna, $6. 


Making much adiev abaut nothing but a weekend business trip, feminine phalanx detains departing swain with helping hands 


ond fond farewells. Bearded in his den's doorway, he's lionized in water-repellent wool herringbone topcoat with fly front, 
by Alligator, $44; wool-silk suit with two-button front, 
otton-broodcloth shirt with medium. 


Ik twill tie, by Countess Mara, $10. 


raglan sleeves, flop pockets, side vents, zip-in acrylic-pile lini 
slanted flap pockets, side vents, trousers with quarler-top pockets, by Eagle, $115; 


read collar, tapered body, French cuffs, by Van Heusen, $5; blue herringbone-weave 


Г 


LO Oe 


Р 


Revving up ce roadster for on old-foshi ride alos 
up a pretty passenger. Front man is reody to wheel ond део! 
double-breasted front, quilted lining, by Cork $50. Running 


scarf ond Orlon-knit foam-lominate linin, 


o-way zip fr 


loke shore, corlcod of j 


greotcoat 


ith 


Well-armed customer hands her friends o laugh while casing curiosities on display ot The Emporium, a quointly cluttered 
gift shop in old-fashioned Old Town. Fellow browsers are neatly new-lashioned, cosvally correct: bloke or left in mohair- 
wool crew-neck pullover, by McGregor, $18, wool-flannel belt-loop trousers, by YMM, $17; guy at center in Indian-patterned 
wool zipper cardigan, by Brentwood, $22.50, tapered Dynel whipcord slacks with quarter-top pockets, by H.I.S., $7; right-hand 
man іп mohcir-wool cardigan with sueded elbow patches, by Himalaya, $21, wool-flonnel belt-loop trousers, by Corbin, 


At Moody's Pub, wee-hour wotering place for Chicago's ofter-theater crowd, toasting ond tippling are first order of busi- 


ness at formal meeting of hot-stove league, presided over by elegantly attired gentlemen-abour-Old-Town. Es 
is immaculate in wool-hopsack dinner jacket with sotin 


cort at left 
vl collar, flop pockets, center vent, tapered formol trousers, 
matching tie ond waistcoat, $17, both by After Six. Other man warms hands, dazzles dote in Dacron-worsted formal suit 


with silk-foille notched lapels, maroon figured jacket lining, $110, matching tie ond waistcoat, $20, both by lord West. 


PLAYBOY 


slimmer outline (showing up in trimmer 
jacket waists and narrower trousers). 
"Thus, you can cast your eye in the direc- 
tion of the newer one- and two-button 
suits (both featuring squarer shoulders), 
which are excellent for those occasions 
when an additional touch of urbanity is 
desired. Suit colors will be livelier 
(lighter blues, grays and browns are in; 
dark olive is out), but last year's bold 
patterns are expected to be more sub- 
dued. We're pleased to note a material 
shift toward soft fabrics such as tweed, 
Shetland and cheviot: suits cut from 
these cloths pay dividends in versatility 
since, by varying your accessories, you 
can wear them both for casual country 
weekends and your normal city workday. 
A noticeable revival of herringbone is 
a-borning, in patterns ranging from a 
tissue shadow to a wide, spirited accent, 
and in colors varying from light gray or 
muted tan to a firm black and white or 
virile blue and black. If you don't have 
at least onc herringbone, now's the 
to buy: it will be an endu 
to your wardrobe. Regulation formal 
wear this season will be the natural- 
shoulder dinner jacket іп hopsacking 
with a satin shawl collar, but a stri 
departure from fashion orthodoxy is a 
new straight-peaked-lapel dinner jacket 
that has the same silhouette as a business 
suit. 

The sportsjacket look will be rough 
in fabric, light in color and bold in 
pattern. Except for the sustained revival 
of Norfolk jackets and the appearance 
of suede as elbow patches and pocket 
trim, there will be few styling departures 
this season: natural shoulders and plain 
backs still prevail. The big news is in 
fabrics, where smooth, hand-finished ma- 
terials, like worsteds, are hibernating 
for the season, with rugged, beefy 
materials, like coarse grained tweeds (cs- 
pecially herringbone) and bulky Shet 
lands, taking their place. Unabashedly 
large patterns will enliven sports jackets 
almost every combination from glen 
plaids to shepherd checks, but even more 
notable will be the unusual combination 
of black and white in such conventional 
patterns as houndstooth, herringbone, 
club checks and stripes. Along fraternity 
row and at penthouse cocktail parties, 
the preeminence of the navy-blue blazer 
will he challenged by upsurging camel 
tones; rich, burgundy shades also promise 
to be welcome trail blazers. Sleeveless 
sweaters will show up increasingly this 
in combination with sports jackets 
а slacks. 

We're pleased to report that the trend 
in slacks toward trim, functional tailor- 
ing will rem: n force. Traditional 
styling will set the tone even in such 
venturesome arrivals as trousers utilizing 
stretch materials (double-knit wools and 


116 blends) and newly interpreted beltless 


models. Last year's dark-hued pants will 
still be around, as will the conventional 
materials — whipcords, twist weaves, cor- 
duroy and basket weaves of the Harris- 
tweed type — but you might want to add 
a couple of pairs in the new day tones 
(pewter, tan, putty) or in the synthetic 
blends, which will be seen more than 
ever this year. Fashion iconoclasts wil 
be interested in the introduction of 
suede trim both on pockets and belt 
loops, while traditionalists will welcome 
the revival of vertical on-seam pockets. 
Onc more comeback that we view with 
favor is the return of glen plaid as a 
trouser fabric: slacks made of this ma- 
terial co-ordinate perfectly with solid- 
color blazers. 
e outer look of outerwear will re- 
main remarkably stable this season, with 
last year’s long, woolen overcoats, both 
in single- and double-breasted models, 
still prevailing, and herringbone pat- 
terns continuing to rise in favor. The 
nside word, however, is color: linings 
will be bright and exciting, with auda- 
us combinations in plaids, stripes апа 
geometric patterns. Bold shades of 
red will figure prominently in almost all 
of them. In decorous contrast to this 
burst of color, Continentally inspired 
linings that feature both trim and inner 
waistbands of leather will be available 
for more conservatively inclined mcn. 
‘The sports-outerwear scene has rarely 
been as active as this year. A renascence 
of rugged corduroy is in the offing, and 
it will show up both in arcnzoricntcd 
stadium coats and skiinfluenced three 
quarterlength jackets. The knee-length 
garments will feature detachable hoods, 
toggles, big patch pockets, cleanly de- 
fined yokes, and linings in bold plaids, 
stripes or pile; the thigh-high jackets’ 
detailing will include removable fur col- 
lars (simulated) and a choice of buttons 
or zippers. Second only to the corduroy 
comeback will be a fashionable revival 
of suede, which is expected to appear in 
all types of casual outerwear, frequently 
in combination with other fabrics (cor- 
duroys, wools, double knits); but the 
most noteworthy application of suede, as 
we sce it, will be on functional waist- 
length jackets with pile linings. While 
the average sportsman will have the usual 
abundance of versatile convertibles to 
choose from (particularly cottons and 
blends with removable pile collars and 
zip-out hood linings), the active owt- 
doorsman will be especially pleased with 
the newly interpreted finger tip length 
ski parkas: snug tailoring and a de- 
emphasis on outside quilting qualify 
these jackets both for the skislope and 
hottoddy scenes. This season, hooded 
parkas generally reverse from rich, solid 
shades to colorful geometric patterns. 
We regard with favor a revival of the 
traditional topcoat, which is reappearing 


asa le for urban workaday and weck- 
end wear. While the choice of fabrics 
and patterns will be wide, neat herring- 
bone designs will predominate, with un- 
adorned fly fronts and slightly padded 
shoulders squaring off the topcoat's out 
line. Most of these garments will be seen 
in subdued patterns and dark colors, but 
fashion pace-setter 
modish camel’sh: terpre' 
the classic polo coat and Brit 
In a complete swing of the fashion 
pendulum, last year’s boldly styled rain- 
wear will give way to conservative colors 
and classic tailoring. Such Continental 
touches as yokes and button-off back 
belts will be replaced by the more 
traditional appearance of regulation 
raglan sleeves and trim-looking split 
shoulders. Both the perennial single- 
breasted and recently revived double- 
breasted trench coats will be knee length, 
with styling on the lauer varying from 
the smart ulster collar outline to a snappy 
military profile. The usual zipout and 
pile lin wetwear will be 
colorful this year: bright solids, 
split shades and lively wool plaids (with 
camel the ground color) will prevail. 
The contrastingly restrained outer look 
of rainwear will be dominated by ortho- 
dox gabardine, in natural and sand 
colors, with the new, muted London tan 
(plain and iridescent) following closely, 
and last year's black, though still strong, 
holding up the re: 
‘The most newsworthy yarn being spun 
on this year's sweater scene is that 
brushed surfaces and bulky knits are 
surging back strongly. The fleecy look 
will be scen in patterns and solids, in 
coat models and pullovers, while the 
:— notably mohair — will be 
e men in stitches like cable 
and popcorn. Look for a compatible 
marriage of both brushed and bulky in 
lightweight interpretations that are per- 
fect for carly fall outings. A versatile 
choice for both fall and winter is the 
ski-oriented turtleneck, which is showing 
up in two versions: traditional and zip- 
pered. This year, the turtleneck will be 
worn during carlyin-the-season days 
under an openneck sport shirt and, 
when the temperature drops in earnest, 
underneath a parka for extra wa 


of knits is the new 
two-in-one pullover that combines a 
V-neck with a set-in turtleneck.) Another 
enduring influence of the schussand- 
slalom resorts is the ubiquitous ski pat- 
tern which, this year, will appear not 
only in the accepted multicolor delinea- 
tions, but in new double-hued combina- 
tions as The dosely related 
‘Tyrolean will also be popular in color- 
Tul zip-front versions, but, if subdued 
shades are more to your liking, there 

(concluded on page 182) 


in the whole skei 


“Up to today, in this new class in sex education, 
we have dealt only with theory .. .” 


GROWING WONDER 


a well-constructed high-rise beauty 
makes an exceptional october playmate 


THE CALIFORNIA PROPENSITY for beauty on 
an epic scale was never more admirably 
illustrated than by our October Playmate, a 
six-foot (in bare feet) stunner from Altadena 
named Christine Williams. Today a thor- 
oughly cheerful 18-year-old with ash-blonde 
hair and an instant smile, queen-sized 
Christine once viewed the world and her 
stature in it with considerable misgivings: 
"1 was always the tallest and gawkiest girl 
in my class," she says, “and it really embar- 
rassed me, especially during my first two 
years of high school in Pasadena, where 
some of the other girls got their kicks by 
taunting me openly. Then one day I real- 
ized that they were making all the noise — 
the boys didn't seem to mind my height at 
all. From that moment on, I've loved being 
tall I really prefer dating shorter men, 
which is a good thing, because when my hair 
is piled up and I've got my high heels on 
not many men are taller than I. I absolutely 
insist on wearing heels, by the way — I'm 
told they make my legs look even longer 
and I'd feel self-conscious going out on a 
date without them." As the daughter of a 


“My stallion, Flash, lives on the ranch of Jirayar 
Zorthian, who is an extremely talented artist and 
very good buddy of mine. I've spent many hours 
during the past year at Jerry's place, posing for 
his fine paintings — which helps to pay for Flash's 
oats and stall. One of the children who live on 
the ranch, a little girl named Nanette Rohiff, 
loves horses almost as much as I do, and I’m 
always glad to share a ride with her.” 


nowretired Army captain, Christine was 
shuttled about a good deal in her youth, 
along with kid brother Roy and younger 
sister Carolyn (“The real beauty in the 
family — only 16, with the face and natural 
coloring of Sophia Loren"). Her circuitous 
route to the Golden State included stays in 
England (she was born in Basingstoke), Ger- 
many, and Red Bank, New Jersey. After 
graduating from high school, she sagely de- 
cided that her natural resources (37-26-37) 
might be put to profitable use in some 
phase of show business — but has discovered 
that it takes as much luck as grit to gain 
entree to the world of entertainment: “The 
rule seems to be that you have to have 
experience to get experience." Christine 
takes advantage of the time on her hands 
between job-hunting expeditions to enjoy 
long rides on her horse, Flash, a spirited 
russet-and-white stallion which she boards 
at the ranch of a friend in Altadena. “Flash 
is a charming horse and a veteran movie 
actor,” she says proudly, “His greatest role 
was in Sand with Rory Calhoun a few years 
back, and he has a long list of other credits. 
I wish I could say the same.” Such moments 
of malaise are fleeting, however, for the ex- 
cellent reason that life-as-it-isnow seems 
eminently worth the living to Christine. 
Says she: “All it really takes to make me 
happy is science fiction on the book shelf, 
pizza in the oven, a goodly supply of tai- 
lored sheaths in the closet, Cannonball 
Adderley on the hi-fi, and male friends who 
are indulgent about my two major vices— 
talking, and eating large amounts of choco- 
lates. Fortunately, I never have trouble with 
my weight.” That the distribution of her 
pretty pounds is above reproach should be 
quickly apparent to all males who look at 
the big picture: the gatefold, wherein the 
full fathom of charming Christine Williams 
is revealed enticingly at ease. 


“A part of the ritual of trying to break into show business 
isa visit with my agent, William Schuller, and his assistants, 
John Sorrenti and Leslie Brenner. Afterward, there's noth- 
ing like a glass of white wine to help me dream about how 
terribly rich and famous I'm going to be.” 


PLAY BOY’S PARTY JOKES 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines optimist 
as a man who sits in the last row of the theater 
and winks at the showgirls. 


The beautiful 18-year-old girl, sobbing quietly 
at the funeral services for her 75-year-old hus- 
band, was overheard confiding to a solicitous 
neighbor: "We had such a happy marriage for 
the six months it lasted. Every Sunday morning 
he would make love to me, and he'd keep time 
with the church bells that summoned you all 
to services.” She sobbed a little, then said with 
rising animation, “And he'd still be alive today 
if it weren't for that damned fire engine that 
went clanging by!” 


A Mad Ave friend of ours tells of a client who 
wanted to get his "message" to every married 
woman in a specific community. The solution 
to the problem was simple, according to this 
enterprising publicis: "We just addressed 
leuers to every married man in town and 
marked them ‘Personal.’ " 


George, after tying on a whopper the night 
before, woke up in the morning to find a 
pathetically unattractive woman sleeping bliss- 
fully beside him. He leaped out of bed, dressed 
quickly, and furtively placed a $20 bill on top 
of the bureau. He then proceeded to tiptoe out 
of the room. But as he passed the foot of the 
bed, he felt a tug at his trouser cuff. Glancing 
down, he saw another female almost as homely 
as the one he'd left in bed. She gazed up at him 
soulfully and asked, "Nothing for the brides- 
maid?" 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines flag-waving 
speech as starspangled banter. 


Have you heard about the new insecticide that, 
while it doesn’t actually kill flies, makes them 
so sexy that you can swat them two at a time? 


The young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but 
didn't always have the means to buy it, and so 
he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel 
when he found out the charges for room, meals 
and golf privileges were $50 a day. He regis- 
tered across the street at an equally elegant 
hotel, where the rates were only $10. The fol- 
lowing morning he went down to the hotel's 


golf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell 
him a couple of golf balls. "Sure," said Scotty. 
“That'll be $25 apiece.” 
"What?" screamed the bachelor. "In the hotel 
across the street they only charge $1 a АШ” 
“Naturally,” replied the pro. “Over there 
they get you by the rooms.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines cookie as 
a virgin doughnut. 


Then there was the coffee bean who, though 
she could be made instantly, still preferred the 
old grind. 


In what they thought was a great propaganda 
coup, the Russian government sent an order to 
an American rubber company for 1000 gross of 

ntraccptives, 18 inches long and 8 inches in 
circumference. The company filled the order, 
but countering propaganda with propaganda, 
labeled each container: MEDIUM. 


Heard a good one lately? Send it on a postcard 
to Party Jokes Editor, pLavnoy, 232 E. Ohio 
St., Chicago 11, IL, and earn $25 for each joke 
used. In case of duplicates, payment is made 
for first card received. Jokes cannot be returned. 


nostalgia 
By CHARLES BEAUMONT 


a sentimental journey aboard the elegantly romantic trains of our youth—now highballing toward oblivion 


THERE WERE GIANTS UPON THE EARTH when the earth was young. Enormous fire-breathing giants they were, 
with voices of thunder and a tircless stride that carried them across continents. And people feared them, 
because they were the most powerful creatures that ever existed: but they loved them, too. for they served 
the needs of man. 

The creatures were called trains. They are not gone from the earth yet, but they are going. Inexorably. 
they are passing into extinction, like the giants of another time, the dinosaurs. Yet they will never be 
forgotten. Like the dinosaurs, they will also pass into legend. And, one day, a thousand ycars from now, a 
schoolboy will be asked to describe this time of ours and he will begin an essay titled The Railroad Age. 

If the essay is thorough, it will open with a study of America, for this country owes its expansion to 
railroads. Over a period of almost a century-and-a-half, our land was a veritable webwork of railroads, of 
main lines and short lines, of standard and narrow-gauge lines: a reticulum of steel ribbons along which 
rushed the mighty iron monsters—and they were the corpuscles in the lifeblood of our continent. If they 
had stopped. the arteries would have collapsed and America would have withered and died. That is how 
important they were. 

The pa is shocking but only slightly premature. While our eyes are on the jets, the missiles 
and the space capsules, the glory and the grandeur that was railroading is quietly fading from the con- 
temporary scene. Unimaginable but true that all the lore, the romance and vivid lexicon of an era will 
nish, and all in our lifetime; that for a while, before it is elevated by heraldry, the train will be 
consigned to the Quaint Artifact section of the museum, somewhere between the Conestoga wagon and 
the oxcart. 

So let us sing the giants to their rest now, while yet they can hear us; and let us sing loudly, without 
tears, if we We are not, after all, mourning a sickly friend whose face we have forgotten, nor sighing 
for a bit of childhood lost: the song is for giants. 

‘Think of them. Think of how it was when you went down to the depot to sec the One-O-Four, not 
because It Was There but because it would be, soon. Remember how you walked the track, pretending 
up, and tried not to fall, and did? How you knelt and put your car to the steel and 
waited. For miles ahead nothing could be seen but the d ishing t you knew it was coming, 
and vou went on waiting. Any moment. Now! The steel began to vibrate. You looked up; still nothing in 
sight; then back down, quick, bare ear pressed onto bare steel, and the vibration turning into a hum. You 
could hear it truly. Another couple of moments (“Get the hell away from there, boy! You wanta get yourself 
Killed?”) and up, scrambling over the cindery gravel. Still nothing ahead. Then a far-off scream and a black 
dot, and your heart beginning to jump. The One-O-Four! Another shrill scream, the dot becoming larger, 
on shape, the rails shaking, the ground trembling, and you, edging just as close to the track as your 
e allowed. Watching the great iron beast approaching, you felt again the crazy urge to throw yourself 
in front of it, but you only felt this for a split second, just long enough to be thrilled. No time for anything 
at wh. K (continued on page 132) 


ndred fes 


it was a 


15 turi 


che, anyway, because here it was, thundering past y 


dam 


PLAYBOY 


OVERLOOKING A 5 


LIGHT 


LOOKING FOR AN OUT 


CLICHE 
SAFARI 


humor 


By PHIL HAHN and 
PAUL COKER, JR. 


ANYONE WHO HAS ever tried to catch 
40 winks knows how elusive the ras- 
cals can be; in fact, most people don’t 
even know what they look like. Many 
a man has overlooked a slight simply 
because he did not recognize one. 
And can any general who has ever 
mounted an offensive display one in 
his trophy room? We doubt it. To 
remedy these quandaries, we crossed 
the wide semantic, trekked intrepidly 
into the land of duck-billed plati- 
tudes and lesser kudos, and there 
bagged the absolute limit in conversa- 
tional creatures. Herewith, the results 
of our cliché safari: a prize collection 
of those beastly utterances with which 


all of us animate our discu: is from 


time to time. 


маи Mr 
TAKING A FLYER 


TT a ET ИДИТ 


SCARING UP A DATE 


TRYING TO CATCH 40 WINKS 


STALKING A PREY 


Nee e gà 


RUNNING INTO A SNAG 


ESCAPING A 
CRASHING BORE 


IN А QUANDARY 


^. TRYING TO RECAPTURE 
A MEMORY 


PLAYBOY 


T 
nent, fe the Nigh Ben (continued from page 127) 


pistons pumping, brakes screeching, and 
you were lost in а pure white cloud of joy 
and steam. 

‘The province into which the Опе-О. 
moved was yours, but you were 
in the middle 
of the open, staring at the strange people 
—strange because you had never seen 
them before and you would never sce 
them again — and they would stare back, 

ristocrats in a peasant land: patroni, 
gly. pityingly, scornfully; or so you 
са. Those im the dining car gazed 
out with a particularly jaundiced сус, 
secing you not at all but, instead, the 
distance, beyond this unimportant town, 
beyond you and all that made up thc 
world you lived in. You often wondered 
if they even knew the name of the town. 
And you hated them a little for their 
obvious superiority, and this made you 
want to throw a stone lightly at the win- 
dow to attract their attention, to let them 
know that you, too, somehow counted it 
the scheme of things. But you never did 
this. They were the gods, the lucky ones, 
these diners, sitting before tables covered 
with whitest linen and sparkling silver, 
with the shapes of waiters hovering at 
their sides. They were a people apart, 
moving from one Olympus to another, 
people from a world apart, people from 
а world you'd never know, from another 
time and another place, people who 
started their soup 50 miles up the line 
and finished their last cup of coffee 50 
miles down the line. Where were they 
going, and where did they come from? 
And by what right did they move into 
town, bisect it with a railroad са 
stopping traffic and commerce? Of course 
you knew. They did it by the Divine 
ht of Railroads, for they were, this 
brief passage. part of the railroad, and as 
such they were immune from the ordi- 
nary rules of lite. 

You thought these things if you lived 
in a town where the trains stopped. And 
you thought more: When the mighty high 
wheeler at the head end gave two long 
blasts of its whistle and the heavy steel 
wheels began to turn, the immense train 
moved, proud and defiant; to the accom- 
ment of angry clouds of smoke and 
steam, it moved, the track, and 
dwindled into the mysterious distance; 
and your heart moved with it, for you'd 
made the promise again. Someday you 
would be an aristocrat. Someday you 
would sit at that table and stare out at the 
poor kids. But you'd remember to smile 
and, maybe, if you felt expansive, step 
le and shake their hands. 

How diflerent this was from those 
you would hike over to 
port! From a world of regulari 
and establishment to one of near mad. 
ness. No schedules here, no certainty. You 


down 


132 might sce something and you might not; 


it depended, for the most part, on the 
whims and caprices of a few daredevil 
rs: if the weather wasn’t right, your 
long walk was for nothing. 

Flying was for the wildly adventurous 
— or for the very rich, who bought great 
clumsylooking crafts and kept them in 
the hangar. And as you watched, the best 

me being sunshiny Saturdays and Sun- 
days, you saw the ugly-engined crates 
jounce lumberingly by, their wings shud- 
dering and bending, eventually wavering 
between carth and sky, belonging to 
neither, and then, amazingly, move up- 
ward in a great noisy spasm. You were 
envious of the pilot or passenger, despite 
your ambition to become another Baron 


Von hthofen. There were many 
thoughts, many feelings, but one thing 
you surely did not consider: that one day 


somewhat modified versions of the blood- 
less birds you were watching would, in 
partnership with trucks, buses, passenger 
cars and improved hard roads, ай but 
destroy the venerable institution of train 


In fact, 


you had any thoughts about 


the future of train travel, they were to 
the effect that it was here to stay. 


The 
sight of giant locomotives roaring across 
the countryside, wailing their pearled 
plumes, with a cut of 50 cars in tow, ог 
асс, their 
thunderous snorts in heavy labor so ordi 
nary, their polyglot whistles so much a 
part of the American scene, that you 
did not bother to appreciate them con- 
sciously. It was only the children who 
stood and wondered. They were always 
Ict out of school once a year and escorted 
down to the station for a close look at 
the leviathans, and invariably they stood 
in awe of what they saw: a black looming 
mass of high iron capable of achieving 
whatever it chose to, a taller-than-the- 
tallest-house colossus, with its human 
masters, or servants. in attendance. There 
was the striped uniform of the engincer, 
the bandanna neckerchief, the bright 
copper oil can; and the man himself, 
looking every wrinkle and scam the Ki 
There were the brakemen with their 
flashlights, examining the wheels апа 
boxes, as though anything could ever go 
wrong. And there, the shiny dark-blue 
ited conductors with their omnipresent 
road watches, to which they con 
tinually referred, and by which the world 
kept time; and the red lanterns they 
always carried, if they were at the rear of 
the train, signaling mysteriously to the 
engineer. These were not sights for you: 
you were older than the children, very 
blasc, for you had scen it all many times 
before. Still, did you ever become too old, 
тоо blasé? No, indeed; it was merely that 
your pleas d been deepened, mov 
ing from brain to blood. 

Certainly you would never be so old 


that you would not thrill to the moment 
when, in response to the chulling of the 
engine, the coach you were in started 
to move, almost imperceptibly, "E 
speed, the tain snaking its channeled 
way preciscly out of the yards and into 
the wide, bright world. 

Didn't you always press your forehead. 
against the already smudged glass the 
better to see the old buildings go by, the 
ones with the car wheels and the lanterns, 
the signal lights and the switches, to 
watch the towers and poles gli 
you were truly out in the country, rolling 
along, lulled by the satisfying clickety- 
clack of the rails and the Doppler effect 
of the clanging railroad crossing signals? 
On warm days, when the windows were 
open, you might even get a cinder in your 
eye, or draw into your nostrils a whilf of 
the sulphurated smoke direct from the 
monster's throat. 

You didn’t care: the dream had come 
true: you were an aristocrat now. 

‘The railroads were at their zenith then 
and time was standing still. Their proud 
engines and cars displayed heralds that 
were bywords of the day: Santa Fe, Rock 
Island, Great Northern, Union Pacific, 
Southern Pacific, Great Western, the 
Chicago, Burlington & Quincy, Baltimore 
& Ohio, Missouri-Kansas-Texas, Denver 
& Rio Grande, the Atchison, Topeka & 
Santa Fe— the list is endless, each name 
distinct and more stately than its pred- 
ecessor. Even the trains themselves were 
adding color to the literature: Twentieth 
Century Limited, Hiawatha, City of San 
Francisco, Broadway Limited, Panama 
Limited, Super Chief, Sunshine Special, 
Capitol Limited, Sunset. And the cars 
that made up the trains: Pocahontas, 
Blue Feather, Helene Modjeska, Prince 
Rupert, Rose Creek. 

Pocts were inspired to sonnets by these 
names, and novelists put them into their 
books, just for the music of them. But 
took a giant to write properly of the 
giants, and he did. Over and over again, 
Tom Wolfe plunged his great hı 
the lore and brought out gold, as though 
he knew that this was the crest of the 
wave, this time, a culmination of all that 
had been high adventure, the beginning 
of the end of the color and romance that 
had seen through the years a flowering 
of wheel and track, a century of ever. 
reaching fingers of steel across the coun- 
try, over the fields, into the valleys, 
through the very mountains. Now there 
were steam e able of running at 
speeds in excess of 100 miles an hour with 
complete safety, trains that could take 
curves at 70 without spilling more than 
a few drops of your collec, trains that 
passed each other as a matter of routine 
at speeds of over 90, the point of passing 
brief and savage, am instants blurred 
lightning bolt chat for this moment ob- 
scured the or scenerv and set your 
heart rappi 


(continued on page 208 


IT DIDN'T HAPPEN 
...Or did it? 
the answer depended on which of two worlds represented reality 
fiction By FREDRIC BROWN 


ALTHOUGH THERE WAS NO way in which he could have known it, Lorenz Kane had been riding for a 
fall ever since the time he ran over the girl on the bicycle. The fall itself could have happened 
anywhere, any time; it happened to happen backstage at a burlesque theater on an evening in 
late September. 

For the third evening within a week he had watched the act of Queenie Quinn, the show's star 
stripper, an act well worth watching, indeed. Clad only in blue light and three tiny bits of stra- 
tegically placed ribbon, Queenie, a tall blonde built along the lines of a brick whatsit, had just 
completed her last stint for the evening and had vanished into the wings, when Kane made up his 
mind that a private viewing of Queenie's act, in his bachelor apartment, not only would be more 
pleasurable than a public viewing but would indubitably lead to even greater pleasures. And since 
the finale, in which Queenie, as the star, was not required to appear, was just starting, now would 
be the best time to talk to her with a view toward obtaining a private viewing. 

He left the theater and strolled down the alley to the stage-door entrance. A five-dollar bill got 
him past the doorman without difficulty and a minute later he had found and was knocking upon 
a dressing-room door decorated with a gold star. A voice called out “Yeah?” He knew better than 
to try to push a proposition through a closed door and he knew his way around backstage well 
enough to know the one question that would cause her to assume (continued on page 173) 


eum THE LITTLE WORLD or DAVID 


WITH THE DRAPES DRAWN, David Merrick's office looks like the inside of a wound. Walls, hangings, sofa and carpet are 
all the color of hot, uncoagulated blood, and there are those who insist the blood is real — squeczed from the army of 
actors, directors, stagehands, chorus girls and composers he employs, or drawn from the lacerations of the critics with 
whom he has ducled. This impression is heightened by the stage prop, a blood-stained headsman's ax, that stands in a 
comer of his assistant’s office, as if ready for instant use. For David Merrick, the most powerful individual in the 
American theater today, producer of such hit shows as Fanny, Irma la Douce, Bechet, A Taste of Honey and Oliver!, 
is a brass-knuckled businessman and, by reputation, the biggest bastard on Broadway. 

He has been called “The Abominable Showman,” “Typhoid David,” “Broadway's Bad Boy,” “Merrick the Ter- 
rible Tempered,” an Iago, a monster, a mortician, a "Schubert Alley Catiline," and, in David Susskind's memorably 
grotesque phrase, “а twisted id on a sea of crocodile tears." So entrenched is the image of Merrick as a sort of modern-day 
Mephistopheles that one enemy, who believes Merrick has manufactured this image to suit his own purposes, says: “1 
don't want to say anything bad about him. I want to find something good I can say about him, so 1 can ruin hin 

It would, as a matter of fact, take more than a kind comment to destroy the empire that Merrick has built for 
himself on Broadway. Merrick is not quite a one-man cartel, but he is the greatest single economic force in the theater 
today. Since 1954, when he produced Fanny, theatergoers have laid out an impressive $75,000,000 for tickets to see his 


ul d "fm 


broadway brilliant, asp-tongued 
grand panjandrum— 
MERRIC and haw he got ihat way BY ALVIN TOFFLER 


plays. Last year alone his productions grossed $12,500,000. He employs 500 to 600 theater people at any given time — 
about one out al every ten who, in a chronically depressed industry, are lucky enough to have jobs at all. Other pro- 
ducers struggle along with one show at a time, or two. Last year Merrick had four running simultaneously, and he has, 
at times, juggled as many as six or seven productions on Broadway, plus another one or two on road tour. Moreover, in 
a business that is, according to Fortune, riskier than a race track when it comes to making a buck, Merrick has returned 
something like $9,000,000 to his investors and himself in the past nine years. Says one competitor: "There isn't another 
producer who doesn't honestly admire David's kingdom." 


‘The emperor of this kingdom looks the part. Nearly six-feet tall and scrupulously well-tailored, he wears custom- 
made shoes and Savile Row suits, usually with a handkerchief darting from the breast pocket. He has been named one 
of the nation's 10 best-dressed men. But it is his countenance, rather than his clothes, that commands attention. It is a 
brooding, majestic deadpan. Thinning black hair, worn long, strays romantically over an са 


A pair of penewating 
brown-black eyes punctuate the face. An aquiline nose strikes downward toward a thick black mustache. Under this a 
pair of lips are almost hidden. When a smile fleets across the 


„ as it only rarely docs, the incipient jowls on cither side 
take no part in the pleasure, Characteristically, Merrick will slouch in a chair, knees crossed, listening rather than talk- 


ing, playing with the horn-rimmed glasses he carries, but only seldom wears. His voice is (continued on page 150) 


THE 1964 PLAYBOY JAZZ POLL 


VOTE for your favorites 
Sor the eighth playboy all-star jazz band 


JAZZ BLOSSOMED in almost every corner of this shrinking globe during the last twelve- 
month, with America’s jazz ambassadors booking gigs in Bangkok, Sao Paulo, and 
points east of the Iron Curtain as though they were two weeks in Trenton. Brazil's 
own jazz envoy, bossa nova, flourished, but had to make room for the new Thing, 
pop gospel. 


Now its timc once again to pay tribute to those responsible for making it a 
vintage jazz year by voting in the 1964 Playboy Jazz Poll, America's most monumental 
and meaningful jazz consensus. This year's ballot, as in the past, is comprised of only 
those artists who have been active on the jazz scene during the past 12 months. Those 
musicians honored by the readers will inake up the 1964 All-Star Jazz Band and 
"will each receive the much-coveted Playboy Jazz Medal. 


To vote, all you have to do is read the simple instructions below, check off your 
favorite jazzmen where indicated, and make sure you forward the ballot to us before 
the deadline date. 


l. Your official Jazz Poll ballot is attached to this page. A Nominating Board 
composed of jazz editors, critics, representatives of the major recording companies 
and winners of last year’s poll has selected the jazz artists it considers to be the most 
outstanding and/or popular of the year. These nominations should serve solely as 
an aid to your recollection of jazz artists and performances, not as a guide on how 
to vote. You may vote for any living artist in the jazz field. 


2. The artists have been divided into categories to form the Playboy All-Star 
-Jazz Band, and in some categories you may vote for more than one musician (e.g., 
four trumpets, four trombones, two alto saxes, two tenor saxes), because a big band 
normally has more than one of these instruments playing in it. Be sure to cast the 
correct number of votes, as too many votes in any category will disqualify all of your 
votes in that category. 


3. If you wish to vote for an artist who has been nominated, simply place an X 
in the box before his name on the ballot; if you wish to vote for an artist who has 
not been nominated, write his name in at the bottom of the category and place an X 
in the box before it. 


4. For leader of the 1964 Playboy All-Star Jazz Band, limit your choice to the 
men who have led a big band (eight or more musicians) during the past 12 months; 
for instrumental combo, limit your choice to groups of seven or less musicians. In 
all categories, vote for the artists who have pleased and impressed you the most with 
their music during the past year. 


5. Please print your name and address in the space at the bottom of the last page 
of the ballot. You may cast only one complete ballot in the poll, and that must carry 
your correct name and address if your vote is to be counted. 


6. Cut your two-page ballot along the dotted line and mail it to PLAYBOY 
JAZZ POLL, 232 E. Ohio Street, Chicago, Illinois 60611. Ballots must be postmarked 
before midnight, October 31, 1963, in order to be counted, so get yours in the mail 
today. The results of the eighth annual Playboy Jazz Poll will appear in the February 
1964 issue. 


NOMINATING BOARD: cannonball Adderley, Louis Armstrong, 
Chet Atkins, Bob Brookmeyer, Ray Brown, Dave Brubeck, John Coltrane, Miles 
Davis, Buddy DeFranco, Paul Desmond, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Pete Foun- 
tain, Stan Gew, Dizzy Gillespie, Lionel Hampton, Al Hirt, Milt Jackson, J. J. Johnson, 
Philly Joe Jones, Stan Kenton, Dave Lambert, Wes Montgomery, Joe Morello, Gerry 
Mulligan, Oscar Peterson, Sonny Rollins, Frank Sinatra, Jack Teagarden, Kai Wind- 
ing; Leonard Feather, Jazz Critic; Nat Hentoff, Jazz Critic; Wilder Hobson, Saturday 
Review; Russ Wilson, Oakland Tribune; Esmond Edwards, Argo Records; Nesuhi 
Ertegun, Atlantic; Alfred Lion, Blue Note; Teo Macero, Columbia; Robert Byrne, 
Command; Lester Koenig, Contemporary; Max Weiss, Fantasy; Dave Pell, Liberty; 
Quincy Jones, Mercury; Richard Bock, Pacific Jazz; George Avakian, RCA Victor; 
George Wein, United Artists; Creed Taylor, Verve; Jimmy Hilliard, Warner Bros. 


LEADER 
(Please check one.) 
Count Basie 
Les Brown 
Ray Conniff 
роши Dankworth 


El 
Duke Fingon 
Gil Evans 
Maynard Ferguson, 
Jarry Fielding 
"Terry Gibbs 
Dizzy Gill 
Benny Goodman 
Bob Haggart 


{a en] ee 


[Г] Woody Herman 
O Harry James 
E] Quincy Jones 
E] Stan Kenton 

[] Henry Mancini 
E] Billy May 

E] Ray McKinley 
E] Gerry Mulligan 
E] Oliver Nelson 
[Г] Marty Paich 

E] Nelson Riddle 
Û Shorty Rogers 
Г] Pete Rugolo. 
E] Johnny Williams 
L] Gerald Wilson 
D SiZentner 


TRUMPET 
(Please check four.) 


Nat Adderley 
Red Allen 

Louis Armstrong 
Benny Bailey 
Emmett Berry 
Ruby Braff 

Billy Butterfield 
Donald Byrd 
Conte Candoli 
Pete Candoli 
Don Cherry 


[в[ш|ш|ш|ш|и|ш|ш|ш|ш}н] 


ala) 
wo 
id 
Ё 
s 
Ar 
$ 

i 


E] Miles Davis 

Г] Wild Bill Davison ` 
Q Sidney De Paris 
Г] Kenny Dorham 
[] Harry Edison 

Û Roy Eldridge 

[] Don Ellis 

Г] Art Farmer 

© Maynard Ferguson 
Г] Dizzy Gillespie 
E] Don Goldie 


E] Freddie Hubbard. 
[] Harry James 

E] Carmell Jones 
Г] Jonah Jones 
Thad jones 

E] Howard McGhee 
© Blue Mitchell 

Г] Lee Morgan 

Ray Nance 

D Joe Newman 


Charlie Shavers 
Jack Sheldon 
Г] Muggsy Spanicr 


TROMBONE 
(Please check four.) 


Milt Bernhart 
Harry Betts 

Bob Brookmeyer 
Lawrence Brown 
Georg Brunis 
Jimmy Cleveland 
] Cutty Cuishall. 
Wilbur De Paris 
Vic Dickenson. 
Bob Fitzpatrick. 
Carl Fontana 
Curtis Fuller 

a к-с Glenn 


Ben: 


U 
Slide Hampton. 
Bill Harris 
Wayne Henderson 
J. C. Higginbotham 
Quentin Jackson 

J. J. Johuison 

Jimmy Knepper 
Melba Liston 

Tricky Lofton 
Albert Mangelsdorft 


E] Benny Powell 
Г] Julian Priester 
Lj] Frank Rosolino 
Г] Jack Tea 

ickie Wells 
- iggs Wigham 

i Winding 
E] Trummy Young 
Г] Si Zentner 


ALTO SAX 
(Please chech tuo.) 


O Cannonball Adderley 
Г] Earl Anderza 

E] Cabe Baltazar 

E] Al Belletto 

E] Earl Bostic 


Hank Crawford. 
Paul Desmond 
Eric Dolphy 
Lou Donaldson 
Bob Donovan 
Herb Geller 
Gigi Gryce 
John Handy 
Johnny Hodges 
Paul Horn 
Hilton Jefferson 
Lee Konitz 
Walt Levinsky 
Charlie Mariano 
Jackie McLean 
E] James Moody 
Ted Nash 

O Lennie Niehaus 
O Gene Quill 

Г] Marshall Royal 
Bud Shank 

[Г] Sonny Simmons 
E] Zoot Sims 


IBmpppppenmmupnmppmnmmn 


TENOR SAX 
(Please check two.) 
Г] Georgie Auld 
Г] AlCohn 
E John Coltrane 
Г] Bob Cooper 
Г Eddie Davis 
[Г] Sam Donahue 
E] Teddy Edwards 
E] Bud Freeman 
Ej Stan Getz 
Benny Golson 
Paul Gonsalves 
Г] John Grifin 
E] Eddie Harri 
Г] Coleman Hawkins 
0 БИП Heath 
ll Holman 
ois Jacquet 
Ы Buda Johnson 
ГЭ Plas Johnson 
Richie Kamuca 
Roland Kirk 
E] Al Klink 
Г] Yusef Lateef 
E] Charles Lloyd 
[ Eddie Miller 
Г] Hank Mobley 
E] James Moody 
5 
[m] 
[m| 


Vido Musso 
“Fathead” Newman 


Г] Zoot Sims 

Г] Sonny Stitt 

Г] Buddy Tate 

E] Stanley Turrentine 
Г] Ben Webster 


oo 


BARITONE SAX 
(Please check one.) 


[] Pepper Adams 
EH ur Caceres 
Г] Harry Camey 
E] Charles Davis 
ГЇ Chuck Gentry 
E] Jimmy Giuffre. 
E] Frank Hittner 


E] Jerome Richardson 
Г] Bud Shank 

E] Lonnie Shaw 

LE] Sahib Shihab 

E] Stanley Webb. 

Li 


CLARINET 
(Please check one.) 
D Alvin Batiste 
Г] Barney Bigard 
Г] Acker Bilk 
Г] Phil Bodner 
Г] Buddy Collette 
E] Buddy DeFranco 
Г] Pete Fountain 
B jimmy Giuffre 
єппу Goodman 
H Edmond Hall - 
H Jimmy Hamilton 
Г] Woody Herman 
E] Paul Horn 
E] Darnell Howard 
Pcanuts Hucko 


PIANO 
(Please check one.) 
E] Toshiko Akiyoshi 
E] Mose Allison 
Г] Count Basie 
Г] Dave Brubeck 
E] Barbara Carroll 
Ej Cy Coleman 
Г] Bob Darch 
Duke Ellington 
8 Га Bill erasa 
g Victor Feldman 
E] Clare Fischer 
Г] Russ Freeman 
Г] Red Garland 
E] Enoll Gamer. 
E] Vince Guaraldi 
Г] Herbie Hancock 
Г] Eddie Heywood 
E 1“Fatha” Hines 
hard Hyman 
H Ahmad Jamal 
Г] Pete Jolly 
= Hank Jones 
Ej Wynten Kelly 
E] Billy Kyle 
E] John Lewis 
Г] Ramsey Lewis 
E] Junior Mance 
McCann 
E] Marian McPartland 
Г] Thelonious Monk 
Г] Peter Nero 
Phineas Newborn, Jr. 
Bernard Peiffer 
© Oscar Peterson 
Г] Bud Powell 
рй алп 
george Sheariı 
E ЫН 
E] Horace Silver 
Г] Martial Solal 
Г] Jess Stacy 
Г] Billy Taylor 
Г] Cecil Taylor 
E] Bobby Timmons 
Г] Lennie Tristano 
E] McCoy Tyner 
Г] Mal Waldron 
Г] Randy Weston 
ГЇ] Mary Lou Williams 
[O Teddy Wilson 
E] Stan Wrightsman 
E] Joe Zawinul 


ITAR 


(Please check one.) 


O Laurindo Almeida 
Г] Chet Atkins 

E] Billy Baucr 

© Kenny Burrell 

E] Charlie Byrd 

Г] Eddie Condon 


E] Tal Farlow 
Г] Barry Galbraith 
Freddie Green 
E] Grant Green 
Jim Hall 
Bill Harris 
Al Hendrickson 
Barney Kessel 
Mundell Lowe 
Г] Wes Montgomery 
Г] Oscar Moore 
Г] Tony Mottola 
E] Joe Pass 
Г] Les Paul 
0 Joe Puma 
E] Howard Roberts 
E] Sal Salvador 


П Rex Stewart E] Willie Smith Matty Matlock Г) Bola Sete 
Г] Sonny Stitt [] Pee Wee Russell Г] Johnny Smith 
П Jimmy Woods O Tony Scott. Г] Les Spann 
Г] Phil Woods [а Bill Smith E] René Thomas 
Г] Leo Wright Г] Phil Woods Г] George Van Eps 
B Г] Sol Yaged H Al Viola 
[m] 


YOUR 1964 PLAYBOY JAZZ-POLL BALLOT 


ВА55 
(Please check опе.) 


Joc Benjamin 
Keter Betts 
Ray Brown 
Monty Ludwig 
Red Callender 


Buddy Clark 
Joe Comfort 
O Curtis Counce 
[J Bill Crow 
Art Davis 


2000006500! 


E] George Duvivier 


© Pops Foster 
E] Johnny Frigo 
O Bob Haggart. 


Ej Percy Heath 

0 Milt Hinton. 

E] Chubby Jackson 

[] Eddie Jones 

E] Sam Jones 

O Charlie Mingus 

O Red Mitchell 

Ej Joc Mondragon 

O Monk Montgomery 

L] Gary Peacock 
Mike Rubin 

Howard 

Eddie Safra 

Arvell Shaw 

Slam Stewart 

George Tucker 

Leroy Vinnegar 

Wilbur Ware 

Butch Warren 

Gene Wright 

El Dee Young 


ski 


popproponpon] 


DRUMS 
(Please check one.) 
Dave Bailey 
Danny Barcelona. 
Ray Bauduc 
Louis Bellson 
De 
Art 
Larry Bunker 
Frank Capp 
Соту Cole 
Nick Fatool 
Vernel Fournier 
D Sonny Greer 
Chico Hamilton 
[] Louis Hayes 
Roy Haynes 
Red Holt 
Sticks Hooper 
Ron Jefferson 
Озге Johnson 
Elvin Jones 
Jo Jones 
Philly Joe Jones 
Rufus Jones 
O Connie Kay 
O Gene Krupa 
Don Lamond 
Stan Levey 
Mel Lewis 
Shelly Manne 
Joc Morello 
Sonny Payne 


JEJIEJCJEECIEYECICIENORES 


ICDJEJCIEEJEYCYEREY 


ICICICICICIEJEIEJE TEE YE EI 


MISC. INSTRUMENT 
(Please check one.) 
E] Ray Brown, cello 
0 Milt Buckner, organ 
E] Larry Bunker, vibes 
G Сату Burton, vibes 
E] Candido, bongo 
Buddy Collette, flute 
olin Coltrane; soprano sax 
lob Cooper, oboe 
E] Miles Davis, Fliigelhorn 
E] Leo Diamond. harmonica 
Eric Dolphy, flute 
Don Elliott vibes mellophone 


ooo 


В 


Tominy Gumina, accordion 
Lionel Hampton, vibes 
Paul Horn, fiute 
Milt Jackson, vibes 
Roland Kirk, manzello, stritch 
Steve Lacy, soprano sax 

icc Lasha, flute 
Yusct Lateet (ше 
Charles Lloyd, flute 
Mike Mainieri, vibes 
Herbie Mann, lute 
James Moody, flute 
Ray Nance, violin 
Red Norvo, vibes 
Pony Poindexter, soprano sax 
Emil Richards, vibes 
Dick Roberts, banjo 
Shorty Rogers, Flügelhorn 
Bob Resengarden, bongo 
Willie Ruff, French horn 
Shirley Scott, organ 
Bud Shank, flute 


DEBHSHEEBOHEHSERHEDBSEERS 


Jimmy Smith, organ 
G Ray Starling, mellophontum 
O Clark Terry, Flügelhorn 


Oo 


Jean Thiclemans, harmonica 
E] Gal Tjader, vibes 

Lj Ar Ne Damme. accordion 
tkins, French horn 
a Frank Wess, flute 


MALE VOCALIST 
(Please check one.) 


[Г] Louis Armstrong 
Harry Belafonte 
Tony Bennett 

Brook 


Perry Como 
Bing Crosby 
VicDamone 


Frank D'Rone 
Billy Eckstine 
Jesse Fuller 
Buddy Greco 
Roy Hamilton 
Johnny Hartman 
Clancy Hayes 
Bill Henderson 
Jon Hendricks 
AM 
Ligh 


Баве gane лынан 


E] Mel Tormé 

П Joe Turner 

O Muddy Waters. 
E] Andy V 
Е 
[ч 
[ul 


Joe Wi 
пшу Witherspoon. 


FEMALE VOCALIST 
(Please check one.) 


stine Anderson 


Cj June Christy 
Chris Connor 
E] Doris Day 


Judy Garland 
Eydie Goriné 
Shirley Hom. 
Lena Horne 

Г] Helen Humes 
Ej Lurlean Hunter 
Mahalia Jackson 
Еца James 
Sheila Jordan 
Beverly Kelly 
Teddi 

Eartha Kitt 
Irene Kral 
Peggy Lee 
Abbey Lincoln 
Julie London 
Gloria Lynne 
Carm M«Rac 
Jaye Р. Morgan 
Anita O'Day 


2580055 


Billic Poole 
Della Reese. 
Ann Richards 
Mavis Rivers. 
Annic Ross 
Dinah Shore 
Nina Simone 
Carol Sloane. 
Jennie Smith 
Kecly Smith 
Joanie Sommers 
Jeri Southern 

jo Stafford 
Dakota Staton 
Barbra Streisand 
Teri Thornton 
Diana Trask 
Sarah Vaughan 
Dinah Washington 


Nancy Wilson 


OODOOROOSE00R0RS00C000000C0000000NE00000! 


INSTRUMENTAL COMBO 
(Please check one.) 

Г] Cannonball Adderley Sextet 

Г] Louis Armstrong All-Stars 

C] AI Belletto Quartet 

E] Art Blakey and the Jazz 
Messengers 

C] Dave Brubeck Quartet 

0 

ЕЕ! 


Ornette Coleman Quartet 
Û John Coltrane Quartet 
les Davis 5 


Cj Don Ellis 
Bill Evans Trio 
Art Farmer Quartct 
Firehouse Five plus Two 
Erroll Garner Trio 
Stan Getz Quartet 
Dizzy Gillespie Qi 
Jimmy Gititlre Trio 
Urbic Green Septet 
А! Grey—Billy Mitchell Sextet 
e Guaraldi Tri 
Chico Hamilton Quintet 
Al Hirt’s New Orleans Sextet 
Ahmad Jamal Trio 
Jazz Crusaders 
Jonah Jones Quartet 
Barney Kessel Quartet 


Gene Krupa Quartet 
Ramsey Lewis Trio 


Lighthouse All- 

Shelly Manne and his Mei 
Les McCann Ltd. 

Marian McPartland Trio 
Charlie Mingus Quartet 
Modern Jazz Quartet 
Thelonious Monk Quartet 
‘Turk Murphy's Jazz Band 
Red Nichols’ Five 

Red Norvo Quintet 

Oscar Peterson Trio 
André Previn T 


Pee Wee Russell Quartet 
Bud Shank Qi 
aring Quintet 
ver Quintet 
ina Simone and her Trio 
"Taylor Quartet 
yer Quintet 


Paul Winter Sextet 


ES Ee er КЫН Ун ee Ra pe eee 


VOCAL GROUP 
(Please check one.) 
Ames Brothers 
Andy & the Bey Sisters 
Brothers Four 

Jackie Cain & Roy Kral 
Clancy Bros, & Maken 
Double Six of Paris 
Four Freshmen 

Four Lads 


ink Spots 
Mary Kaye Trio 
King Sister: 
Kingston Tri 
Lambert, Hendricks & Bavan 
John LaSalle Quartet 


‘oder 
Peter. Pauli Mary 
Platters 


jamal lalallala laa ajala [a |e [a ||| 


ja 
m 
3 
ж 
EE 
a 


Walter Perl john: Charlie Byrd Trio Staple Singers 
Charlie Persip "ran Barbara Carroll Tri B by SURE Four 
joey Preston E] Steve Lawr E] Al Gohn—Zoor Sims Qui ow 
uddy Rich ГЇ] Dean Martin O Cy Coleman Trio B 
Max Roach Г] Johnny Mathis 
Mickey Sheen E] Les McCann E = STRE Шымды 
Jack Sperling Ej Mark Murphy Name and address must be printed here to authenticate ballot. 
7 Ed Thigpen E] Jackie Paris Name 
E] Milt Turner E] Arthur Prysock 
© George Wettling Г] Jimmy Rushing dress 
Г1 Sam Woodyard Г] Frank Sinatra роте 
a кые Ta O раска еаратаст Ci State. Zip Code. 


YOUR 1964 PLAYBOY JAZZ-POLL BALLOT 


SYMBOLIC SEX — t^ 
a sprightly probing of the signs of our times : 
humor Ву DON ADDIS 
AE 


ive dost BEEN CHOSEN 
Playmate oF THE MonTH! 


1 KNOW You GuYS ARE 


; DoiNG YouR BEST, ВОТ 
SOMEBODY iS GETTING 
ой To THE HAREM 


su AND NOW, А MAN WHO 
NEEDS No INTRODUCTION... 


SHY, FELLA... 


ag 9% 


Will THe REAL MISS FELDSTEIN PLEASE 


21) 
DER ANN (ANDERS... se 


| оос 


PEN 


Ma dias wu і. Бе ! 


Y 


“Harry, we cam go on meeting here like this anymore. 


I think my husband is beginning to get suspicious.” 


141 


DURING THE EIGHT YEARS that have clapsed sincc Elsa Martinelli untied her barmaid's apron in a Florentine 
trattoria and set out for Hollywood (via Rome, Paris and New York), she has been bussed by the best in the 
business (see below). But in Rampage, her newest flick, she is bussed as never before. Elsa, who is also the Con- 
tessa Mancinelli Scotti, is one of nine children of a waiter. Eventually she became a barmaid in a small café fre- 
quented, fortunately, by dress designer Roberto Capucci, who spied beneath her apron the assorted charms that 
have since made Elsa the subject of as much cinematic smoochery as any other star of our time. Capucci sped her to 
Rome where she became a model. Later she invaded Hollywood and has appeared in more than 20 films, although 
never before in such a delightful state of altogetherness as in the Seven Arts production of Rampage (see following pages). 


if you wonder who's kissing her now.. assenaar 


= ту ~ 


It was Charlton Heston in The Pigeon That Saved Rome . . . 


.. John Wayne in Hatori! . . . - ond Tony Perkins in The Trial. 


143 


АЈ z шмек. 


secara aa OF wonder who's teaching her how........ 


‘The fine Italian hand (and practically everything else) of Elsa Martinelli is on display in this scene from 
Rampage, in which Elsa and Cely Carrillo dally deshabillé in a mountain stream. The film, which concerns the efforts 
of two men to capture a rare leopard in darkest Malaya (it was filmed in Hawaii), contains ingredients customarily 
served up in cinematic potpourris of this sort: jungle drums, roaring beasts, dry rot, bead curtains and The Eternal Tri- 
angle. But something new has been added: the most sensational aquatic smooch ever screened (sce next spread). 


Above, Elsa and Cely prepare to bore all in eye-filling swim scene as crew stands by. Then Elsa takes plunge, awaits Cely (below). 


... it's bob mitchum in this steamy scene from “rampage” 


Above, girlish frolic in shallows continues as camera dollies in on Elso ord companion. Bur the lissome poir, paddling through the 
surf, soon discover that they ore not alone. Ashore is Robert Mitchum in the role of a big-game trapper who has set his snares 
for Elsa ond has been stalking her for weeks. Below, Elsa reacts to peeping Bob with mock alarm but Cely retoins Oriental poise. 


146 


Right, trapper Bob, spying his prey clone 
in ropids, swims solmonlike upstream, 
nets Elsa ond closes in for epic clinch. 


at shooting's end, nude | 
elsa takes to water skis | 


"She looks" said Vittorio De Sica, “as if she hod 
been pointed in oils." And Elsa works hard to preserve 
this portrait. At breakfast she diets by eating only a 
pomegranate, and for exercise she water-skis, in the 
nude if possible, at some secluded setting with her 
lover, Willy Rizzo (she feels this helps both her 
health and her dispasitionl. Right, she skinny-dips at 
Juan-les-Pins, off southern France, then dries in the sun. 
Below, as the sun slowly sets aver the Mediterranean, 
we savor a delightful Dry Martinelli with a twist. 


Although she remains an authentic countess (her husband, Count 
Franco Mancinelli Scotti, holds one of the oldest titles in Rome), Elsa 
Martinelli has renounced her marriage and now travels about the world 
in the company of Italian photographer Willy Rizzo, who shot for 
PLAYBOY these exclusive pictures of his unadorned inamorata as she 
waterskied in the Mediterranean off the French Riviera shortly after 
the filming of Rampage was completed in Hawaii. For Elsa and Willy, 
love remains a manysplendored adventure, but life, they have dis- 
covered, can sometimes be difficult. Because a divorce for Elsa is unob- 
tainable under Italian statute, she and Willy find themselves continually 
living under a cloud of scandal ("At the cafés on the Via Veneto they 
consume gossip as though it were grappa,” says Elsa). In New York, 
London, Hollywood and elsewhere they must always have two hotel 
rooms (preferably adjoining) for, says Willy, "If a man shares a single 
hotel room with a woman not his wife, this is adultery. And all over 
the world they throw you into prison for this — except, of course, in 
the civilized nation of France. Ah, what a wonderful country is France! 


PLAYBOY 


DAVID MERRICK 


soft and lethargic. As Peter Ustinov puts 
le is almost caressing when he talks, 
carefully modulated, redolent of warmth 
comfort — not brusque at all. He 
vems almost half-asleep at times." The 
over-all impression is one of imperturb- 
able majesty. As in so much else about 
David Merrick, however, there is a jarring 
note. Imperturbable monarchs don't bite 
their nails. Merrick docs. 

This is only the most superficial of the 
many contradictions in Merrick and in 
his image. The image tends to be simpler 
ui the man. For not even Merrick can 
be as Mephistophelian as his reputation 
suggests. Jule Styne, composer of innu- 
merable hit songs and now a Broadway 
producer, testifies: “There is no such 
person as David Merrick"—meaning the 
Merrick of bogieman legend. “I don't find 
David an s.o.b.," he says. “The image is 
painted all wrong.” Michael Stewart, 
author of the libretto of Bye Bye Birdic 
and Carnival!, goes even further. “He has 
created an image of himself as the Nero of 
our business,” Stewart says. “It’s become 
a kind of party game to see who can say 
the nastiest things about him. I'm sorry, 
but I find Merrick warm and easy. I find 
him loyal and completely honest. He has 
the courage of a lion. And no man is 
morc generous to his creative people.” 

Merrick's reputation for being а rough, 
tough character grows in part out of his 
public troubles with actors and actresses. 
These began as сапу as 1954 when he 
staged Fanny. Merrick telephoned Wal- 
ter Slezak and induced him to accept a 
role in the musical. Slezak came to New 
York from Hollywood. Host ics broke 
out almost immediately. Slezak charged 
furiously that Merrick Вай backtracked 
on contract terms, and refused to talk 
10 Merrick for months at a stretch. Re- 
cently, almost a decade after the event, 
Slezak was still nursing his anger. When 
1 called him and told him Merrick's 
оссе had suggested 1 interview him in 
connection with this story, he shouted, 
"Whatsamatter, the sonofabitch is try- 
ing to become a humanitarian?" He rc- 
fused to discuss Merrick 

Merrick’s noisiest brawl with an actor, 
however, came in 1959 shortly after the 
opening of Take Me Along, in which 
Jackie Gleason played the lead. Gleason, 
ly happy during the rehearsal 
tryout period, soon after the open- 
uicd to pry himself loose from the 
contract that bound him to the show, 
Merrick refused to let him go. Before 
long columnists were quoting Gleason 
as saying things like: “De: 
is like playing handball against a putty 
wall ... I'm going to put Merrick's pic 
turc on my golf balls — 1 would be able to 


150 get anywhere up to 800 yards with that 


(continued from page 135) 


ki 


of inspiration." 

Merrick, in turn, on being told that 
Gleason had a stomach-ache, announced 
that he was deeply sympathetic becau 
“When Gleason has a stomach-ache 
like a girafle having a sore throat." 
Gleason, he said, wanted nothii 
the acclaim of an open: 
not interested the hard, unromantic 
work that goes with performance alter 
performance іп a Broadway hit. “This 
was really unbelievable,” Merrick said 
at the time. “Jackie actually requested 
опе week's vacation after every three 
weeks that he is in the play.” 

Today Gleason will no longer com- 
t on the feud, beyond snapping that 
I've done enough for him already.” 
Merrick is less reticent. "His press agents 
and mine found easy access to getting 
plugs in the columns,” he says quietly. 
“But personally, 1 objected to the feud 
1 consider Gleason about 12,000,000 
light-years beneath me. He's just a great 
big fat comic. 

Another battle between Merrick and 
one of his stars broke out during the 
run of the musical, Carnival! The lead 
was played by Anna Maria Alberghetti, a 
slim, dark soprano who a friend dc- 
scribes by saying, "For а frail little 
girl, she's a helluva street fighter." Street 
fighter or no, the frail Miss Alberghetti 
fell ill and was hospitalized. Her press 
agent promptly publicized the news. Usu- 
ally, when the star of a Broadway show 
is ill, pains are taken to keep it quiet, 
on the theory that ticket sales will fall 
oll once the public knows the star is not 
appearing. Merrick, irked, replaced Miss 
Alberghetü with ber understudy, an- 
I wish 1 had been clai 


He rubbed in his revenge by 
sending the sick singer a bouquet of 
wax roses, duly publicizing that, too. 

Such conllicts, of course, are super- 
heated by the press agents who proliferate 
in the Broadway underbrush. They are 
primarily for public consumption. Not 
lor public consumption, however, are the 
private, often far more bitter, battles 
that occur in the course of Merrick’s 
negotiations with actors, directors, com- 
posers, writers and their legions of agents 
and lawyers. For Merrick is the toughest 
negotiator in town. 
Just how tough he can be is sug 
gested in this comment by the upset wile 
ol а composer who has dealt with Merrick 
a number of times. "Negotiations with 
she says. “It's nervousbreak- 
downsville!" 

Merrick has been charged with calcu- 


копа 
man Engel recalls 


“The first time 1 


worked with him was in Fanny. We had 
breakfast one morning at the Plaza. 1 told 
him how much I get. He agreed to pay it. 
But when my agent called to confirm thc 
deal he was unable to get through to Mer- 
rick. He tried for a week. Finally, I got 
through to him myself and he said, ‘For- 
get it’ and hung up. I called Harold 
Rome and Josh Logan, who were work- 
ing on the show. They called David. 
‘Twenty minutes later he called my agent 
and the deal was confirmed. I think he 
just does this to make you nervous.” 

One of Merrick's best-known tactics in 
negotiation is the temper tantrum. He 
has on occasion stormed out of meetings. 
He has screamed with rage, pounded the 
table, called people names. Someti 
the tantrum is genuine. More often it is 
a tactical maneuver. Says onc friend, 
“Гус эссп him all heated up, a 
as he hangs up the phone he si 
says, "Wasn't that a wonderful act? " 
Eruptions of Mount Merrick, however, 
can be corked. Says Jule Styne, “If you're 
weak, you're no match for David Merrick. 
He'll devour you. But he knows I'll fight 
back and hit him with a chair — I really 
would — and he knows it. I don't use 
agents and lawyers between us. I tell him 
myself. If you are strong, you can argue 
with Merrick.” 

Despite all this sound and fury, says 
one leading agent who has haggled and 
fought with Merrick repeatedly, “He's 
not unfair. He's tough. Нез called my 
blulf several times. Many other pro- 
ducers are easier to deal with. They will 
pay all kinds of salaries that arc unwar- 
ranted. Marrick won't. So he seems un- 
fair by comparison. 

Actor Sydney Chaplin puts it this way: 
“He wants to get everyone cheap. But all 
the other producers do, too. Some do it 
with a smile ata cocktail party or an arm 
around your shoulder. David is direct. He 
lives up to the contract. 1 didn't have one 
day's trouble with him. After all, when 
you put $400,000 into a show, it's no 
longer crapping around artsy-craftsy. It’s 
а business.” 

И Merrick looms as an ogre to many 
outsiders, he presents a totally different 
picture to his own tightly knit perma- 
nent stall. He is the only producer in 
America to have built а 52-week-a-year 

ization. Others hire and fire people 


trained people. He is thoughtful of them. 
He gives them great leeway for indi 
initiative. He is paternal. The same is 
true of Merrick’s relationships with ofi- 
stage creative personnel. Typically, when 
he hires a director, he leaves the director 
alone. "| don't constantly hover over 
them taking notes, sitting alongside them 
at rehearsal,” Merrick says. "The pro- 
ducer with a pad and pencil will drive the 
(continued on page 228) 


ual 


THE CALFAYAN 
COLLECTION 


fiction BY PETER SOURIAN 


it was not his intention to share his 
treasures —either old masters or young 
mistresses—with the rest of the world 


BEDROS CALFAYAN, the Armenian multimillion- 
aire, had taken again to walking out for lunch 
from his deceptively modest Paris office. The 
wizened little hunchback servant Rifat, who 
accompanied him, skipping to keep pace, was 
not surprised when Calfayan stopped having 
the limousine pick him up at noon, for it had 
been almost three months since Rifat had been 
charged with dismissing his employer's last 
mistress. a café singer. 

Callayan, his conscious genius totally ab- 
sorbed in matters of business, knew less than 
Rifat what Calfayan was now up to. The 
hunchback knew, because it fell within the 
range of onc of his primary tasks, which was to 
procure, help train and ultimately discard the 
objects of Calfayan’s powerfully animal, yet 
delicately aesthetic inclinations. Calfayan did 
not know, because his brain, the apparent 
equivalent in practical and imaginative capac- 
ity of a heavily staffed corporation, preferred 
not to know. Therefore, Rifat's brain, like a 
pilot fish, followed by leading the Armenian 
vhale. 

And so Caltayan, as he moved, glimpsed 
women of Paris dimly through the slow, turbu 
lent seas of his absorption. A lower-class 
matron, ripe and wise-seeming, came close, but 
receded: then a short, trim young student on 
the arm of a shaggy-haired boy; and there was 
one lithe Swede. But Rifat knew his work 
would not begin until a vision touched and 
then firmly arrested Calfayan. 

Calfayan had granted one newspaper inter- 
view in his 50 years. But it was not really an 
interview. The London Times reporter had 
opened his mouth, about to ask a first ques- 
tion, when Calfayan said: “I am not a gambler. 
I am truly audacious. I wait and wait without 
panic until I am sure. I tell myself no hopeful 
lies. T am not too much vain, These are my 
courage. Good day.” Then he left the room, 
nodding briefly to Rifat in signal that the 
Englishman be ushered gently away. 

‘This summer noontime they passed а sand- 
wich counter near the Printemps. Calfayan 
stopped. One of three bluesmocked salesgirls 
from the department store, on their lunch 
hour, leaned tight against the chromium edge 
of the counter, on tiptoe, her full breasts half- 
outlined. blue cloth drawn tight. She was 
laughing at the ungainly, oversize man behind 
the counter, who (continued on page 183) 


,CUuJoopo y “LIA 0247 40 NLL, 


persuasion 


from the prose fables of the Hindu Tantrakhyayika 


Ribald Classic 


IN A CERTAIN VILLAGE of India lived а 
Brahman whose duty it was to tend the 
1 the temple. This holy m: 


sacred fin 


of noble caste, though poor, wonied 
mightily that people might overlook the 
purity of his position. One day he jour- 
neyed to à n ge to beg for a 
slave to help him with the tending of the 
ing: 
nd 


иу vil 


fire, and a rich man gave him one, s; 


"Take this damsel, for she is comely 


will be skillful in tending the fire. 

Having eyed the girl, the Brahman 
had an impure thought, for all his piety 
and he said to himself: "I 
scl will tend the fire qı 


this di 


and, if I am not deceived, can be 
in addition, to kindle the flames of lov 

Now, a certain young man of the 
village, too poor to buy life's pleasures, 
had learned to rely on his wits: secing 
damsel, he was smitten 
beauty and he vowed to possess h 
“But,” he said до himself, “it cannot be 
holy man 
] must 


the with her 


by force, for she is the slave o 
and the law would be vindict 
use the weapons of guile and persuasion." 


Brahman 
long the road with 
his newly acqu nt, a farmer lad 
appeared and said: "O reverend sir, why 
are you lea an unclean person to 
the shrine of eternal fire? This girl is a 


Thus, when the 


ceeded some distance a 


red assi 


prostitute and I, begging your pardon, 
know her quite well and in an intimate 
way. Recall the proverb: 


“The prostitute aud knave, 
The hangman and the slave, 
Untouchables, defile you 


And get you in а stew." 


The Bra 


by the damsel's v 


n was furious and swore 


ity. and the farmer 


1 departed, begging his pardon. But, a 
few miles farther along the road, a potter 
appeared, his face masked in a 
cloth. To the Brahman he said: 


sweat 
Alas, 
holy sir, even were this prostitute of 


your own clan and caste, it would. not 


be meet to ta her to the shrine, for 


the proverb says: 


“Touch nol too freely man or beast, 
And woman touch not in the least, 
For he who does must weep and fast, 
If he would purify his caste.” 
The Bi 
gry, and the роце 
E 
the 


hman was astonished and an- 


apologized humbly, 
‚ and walked away. Yet, later, oi 
ame highway and near the gate of 


ter 


the city, a shepherd stopped the Brahman 
and said: “Pious father, be not irate, but 
do you know that the girl whose hand 
you hold is a well-known joy girl? Peo- 
ple will talk if you take her to the 


shrine. Remember the proverb 


“When pious Brahmans of high class, 
In ignorance, or in passion's blast, 
Reach out for prostitutes їп lust, 
They must cleanse their lives — it 
is a must.” 


The Br shook his head and 
said aloud: “Surely this damsel must be 
a prostitute, for the first three you 
men I met on the road knew her all 
too well Verily, people would talk if 
they saw her in the shrine, And my posi- 
Чоп and background are worth far 
more than the charms she has." 

to the shepherd, who could 


hman 


Tu 
hardly divert his eyes from the damscl's 


face and fi 


gure, he said: 
her off my hands, 1 
you saw her with m 

When the shepherd said he would, 
the B "Go 
your way, daughter of folly, and forget 
you ever 


“Will you ta 
1. and tell no one 


e 


ahman said to the damsel 


saw me 


The damsel lowered her eyes until he 
had hastened away to be purified, Then 
with a smile, she gave her hand to the 
youth who had assumed the disguises of 
Г 
gether they entered а nearby woodland 
to oller a fitting tribute to the god of 
love, 


mer 


ad, potter and shepherd, and to- 


—Retold by J. A. Gato EJ 


153 


154 


GONE WITH THE TEEVEE JEEBIES 


salire By SHEL SILVERSTEIN 


“You didw task me if I was a vampire. so I didn't 


fell you 1 wasa vampire . . ." 


“J appreciate your advice, dear, but Hertz “You хау you lend money on anything... 2" 
put me in the driver's seat!" 


“I'm sorry, Dad, but when Shelley Berman does it, “1 think they're expecting us to 
its funny. When you do it, it isn’t funny!” put on some sort of show...” 


a fresh. supply of whimsical dialog for tvs late-night flicks 


“Га take some bones [оғ my puppy. but 1 can't seem “Now, boys, that's a part of Bird ath ne that 
to find him around anywhere...” really shouldn't be watched . 


“All right. Son, you caught the fly. Now I think it 
would be avery nice thing if you let him go...” 


"Excuse me, but I couldn't help overhearing your “Do you want to know why none of the guys will play 
conversation about ‘balling.’ ] used to be a pretty leapfrog with you?” 
fair baseball player myself. Pitched for Spokane in 155 


the Pacific Coast League back in...” 


PLAYBOY 


156 


BILUARD BALLET (continued from page 101) 


of the Sunday paper. Ош loud. To 
me. Including some classified ads." Ra 

stopped the car between the 
parking lines before the 1 
dows of the coffee shop. shut off the 
motor, and turned to fice Sophia, still 
listening. He was 28 years old. she was 
24; both were blond, and their name was 
Rasmussen. “The Sunday before, I think 
it was, you discovered a wonderful radio 
program: old records. old 78s. And it was 
good: 1 liked it. But it started at mid- 
night. Tonight — well, we stayed at the 
till they were ready to throw us 


pace 


d. 
ly. but 
now in ghi home we're 
stopping for collec" She watched his 
face for a moment. "You still don't know 


g his door, he smiled wryly. 
know the Sunday- 
ght Stall belore the Monday-morning 


Blues. I didn't was that bad, 


Inside, after they had sat down at the 
long plastictopped counter and ordered, 
Sophia said. "Do you really hate your 
job all that much, Ray?" It was after 12, 
was only one other customer, 
an-uniformed California highway pa- 
halfway down the counte: 
"No, I don't hate it - Though I guar- 
мее you І don't love 
"Then why don’t you 
job? You're young. your c 
of you: find something you really love 
to do. There must be someth that —' 

His eyes were amused. "You sound like 
my mother; just before I finished school. 
Always after me to tell her “what I really 
wanted to do” and 1 never knew what 
to say.” He glanced up to thank with a 

le the waitress who was setting their 
cups down. “She assumed — it was an 
article of absolute faith with her — chat 
for every boy there wa y 
but a job he'd love. But it's not nece 
sarily vue. Not for me. The girl, ye 
the job, no.” 

“Ray, I know people who ——” 

“Oh, 1 know Сеп 
a kid who knew when he was 10 
old 0 he w l to be 
he is one, wor 12 and 14 hours a 
, and loves it. Another kid 1 knew was 


find 


teers 


nother 
head 


ow up with 


bore artist. He didn’t have to 
n, he could always draw. He's 
commercial artist now and из all he 


ever wants to do. Well, 1 people 
1 


like that; they're the lucky ones of the 
world. They have the call. They spend 
their lives doin t to do 


id that’s the best thing there i 


g Next 
to good health and a chubby lite wife. 


It's a million times better than just mak- 
ing money. But mostly the world is pop- 
cd by people like me.” 

No, 
He smiled. picking up the sugar jar. 


‘You're deluded, kiddo. I fooled you 


. and dropped in the 
tasted: set down their 
cups. Ray stared ahead for a moment or 
so, then shrugged and turned to Sophia. 
“Oh, Um not ra aysell down: I'm 
ntelligent enor ot lazy. T 
just don't have 
al; nonc. The world's full of us, and 
ЇЇ we сап do is go out and hunt a job 
when the time comes, 
much matter what kind. Fm an 
count 


executive 
for no spec ason. T could 
just as well be something else. There 
are times when the job's tedious, plenty 
of them, but it its interesting mo- 
ments, too: s man amy other job I 
could hope to find. So 1 don't hate it, 


Soph: a job's necessary and this one's 
ОК. I guess what I resent is the time 
it takes: most of my life 


What do you mean? 
it out. I get up at 6:30; still 
most of the year. And for morc 


the next 12 hou ull 1 get 
ic just before seven. it's either work, 
ving to leave for work. or going 


nd from it on a bus. If I get eight 
sleep. that's over 20 of the 24 hours 
And it happens five days out of 


Seve Thats most of my life, kid." He 
smiled at her, shrugging again. "Dm 
not compla irs по worse 


for me than 
me st 
sull smiling. 
I didn't know 

The Dabneys visited the mussens 
the following Sunday. Phil Dabney was 
s oldest. friend: they'd grown up 
ther in San Francisco. Now they 
h lived here on the Peninsula, in 
south of the city, 
and because their wives liked cach other, 
the Rasmussens and the Dabneys were 
h the couple the other saw most often. 
ight iny and c 
typical end-ofthe-winter Bay 
weather. But here inside they 
ay on the floor before a fire in th 
blick metal fireplace which bung sus- 
pended by its own stovepipe from a 


all.” He 


shook his head, 
The Sunday-night Stall; 
showed.” 


ted is 


oruer of the oom «ейі 
The room was silent. The two men 
lay sprawled on their stomachs fac 


cach other across а very large tablet of 
white paper, a layout pad from R; 
office. Each of the men, Ray in corduroy 
pants and a collartrayed white shirt, 
Phil in dark pants and a red plaid wool 
shirt, w eful series of 


draw 


dime-sized circles on the pad. The circles. 
their edges overlapping, formed wo 
curved lines moving out toward cach 


other from cach side of the sheet. Beside 
the pad lay an open box of colored 
pencils. and cach. time onc of the men 
finished a circle he would color it in: 
Rays were red, Phil's green. Scattered 
on the carpet ound them lay othe 
gram of colored 


е 


his penci 
id. fingers of his h 
his straight black hair. He was 


no longer saw it. 
wile, he smiled. 
tothe pad. "Pm s 
not sure how that’s supposed to work. 
on the floor on her side, watching 
tarde 


а Га 
girl with а handsome 


ure: 
Sophia sitting crosslegged beside her in 
blouse, wool skirt and coral sweater 


Ray looked up from the pad to 
her; he enjoyed looking at June, which 
made him (eel a little guilty toward 
Sophia and Phil. “It's the Billiard Ballet 
The Pool Table Polka. And itll revo- 
Jutionize the experimental. film." 

1 kno! 
Fourteen times,” 
"With more to come." 
But will it work?” 
‘Sure it will" Phil 
the pool 
room: we'll give him a cred 
the finished film. And R going to 
boi l6anillimeter Е ста 
with а stop action; an artist at his office 
one.” 
“That's the part Т don't —" 
“We t the сате 
and focus 
id, looki 
. "We arrange the pool balls in 
nd then snap just one frame 
time, using color film. Between 
cach frame we take, we move the pool 
balls slightly, according to these di 
grams, It’s the way you make an ani 
mated film (d when we finish our 
film, and run it off, the balls will seem 
to move. They'll come rolling up omo 
the table from the pockets first. Then 
they'll roll all over the table, 
off the side cushions, circli 
other, forming all sorts of intricate mov 
ing patterns. 

“Tell be 

said, and a 


So you've both said. 
Sophia 


added. 


ow a 


Well dub in 


music, finally, and the ba 
(continued on page 168) 


MULTIPLYING LIKE RABBITS, THE SIX U.S. 
PLAYBOY CLUBS WILL SOON BE TWELVE, AND 
THE BUNNIES PREPARE TO HOP OVERSEAS 


WHEN TALE MAGAZINE reported that Playboy Club keys 
were “the closest thing to a Phi Beta Kappa [rom Yale,” 
we camestly hoped that members of that venerable 
academic society didnt think we were competing. Far 
from it, we consider the pleasures unlocked by а Playboy 
key to be anything but academic. 


sluctantly take issue with many of the 
dmirers who regard the key as primarily a status 
symbol, Quite the 


arany: While membership in “the 
world's most distinguished key club? (Direct Mail Maga 
zine) is undoubiedly prestigious, any status accrued is 
purely secondary to the very real (as opposed 10 symbolic) 
benefits of belonging. These (text continued on page 166) 


Top, left: Bunnies peer through picturesque stcined-glass door of New Orleons Ployboy Club. Although swingingly modern, the Club, set in 
the heart of Crescent City's historic French Quarter, sustcins facade of Old World charm. Top, center: Bunny Gloria Fleming shokes mean 
cotton-tail within o hare's breadth of rabbit-emblazoned bass drum. Top, right: Wee-hours specialty in New Orleons is combinotion of Dixieland 
beot for music buffs and after-midnight breakfost for food buffs in Club's Living Room. Bunny Wanda Owens reloxes while woiting to serve 
members at buffet. Above: Casual comfort, plush decor, choice entertoinment make Club Living Room one of town's most populor rendezvous. 


chicago 


Top, left: A sumptuous repast is savored by members and their guests at Chicogo Club's elegant new VIP Room (for Very Important Playboys). Top, 
right: Playmate-Bunny Connie Mason takes call for kcyholder in Club’s handsome new Lobby. Above, right: Members perform a lively twist with 
Playmate-Bunny June Cochran, Bunny Peggy Vidas and other bright-eyed, bushy-tailed Bunnies to the swinging strains of new rock-'n-roll hit, 
I'm in Love with a Bunny. Late-hour Celebrity Parties in Chicago's Playroom last until four A.M. six nights a week, five A.M. on Saturdays. Above, 


left: Bunny Bonnie Jo Halpin serves generous Playboy-size libations ( full one-and-a-half ounces) in casual surroundings of Club's Living Room. 159 


mi Playboy Club, situated an a 40,000-square-foo! waterfront estate, affers ur 

greets incoming members in the Club's elegantly oppointed Lobby. Above, 
midnight and keeps gcing until 3:30 А.м. every night but Sunday. Personalities such as John Wayne, Sanny Liston, Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, 
Tony Curtis, Harry Belafonte, Steve Allen, Johnny Carson, Peter Lawford, Mort Sahl, Shelley Berman and Dean Martin are frequently in 


attendance at Clubs across the country. These fun-filled parties are highlighted by Bunnies twisting enticingly atap living Raom’s Piano Bor. 


new york 


Top, left: Extrcordinary multilevel decor of New York Club, in a view from the balcony, fectures Living Room at the top, circular Piano Bar in 
center, popular Playmate Bar below, and Lobby (only portially visible) in foregraund. Top, right: The blessings of giving are extolled by Bunny 
Carole Butler, who beautifies Playboy Gift Shop. Above, right: Buffet viands fit for a king are served with queenly grace by Bunny Annette Prescott 
in Living Room. Above, left: Full view сЁ New York Playboy Club's elegantly decorated Lobby shows members ond their guests entering 
Gothem's most lovish night club — which, according to a recent New York Court ruling, moy now be restricted to keyholders exclusively. 


161 


The newest link in Playboy's glittering key-club chain is pentho 
swings with Playboy image — when cab reaches Penthouse, a light blinks on Ployboy's famous rabbit emblem. Above, left: Bunny, 
against Penthouse window that reveals panoramic view of city, serves hearty, man-size lunch. Top, center: Rare roost beef sizzles on Living Room 
сат as Bunny Linda Loren prepares to serve Playboy keyholder. Top, right: Two cotton-tailed Bunnies fill their trays at service counter in popular 
Ploymate Bor. Above: Voices of the Kirby Stone Four are in close harmony with elegant walnut-paneled decor of swenk Penthouse showroom. 


sed atop the Mayer-Central building in Phoenix, Arizona. Elevator, shown in inset, 


in soft focus 


Top, left: The beauty of the St. Louis Club's Lobby 
decoroting Playmate Bar in background. Top, right: St. Louis Bunny cro: 


proctice makes Bunnies hard to beot (Chicago Bunny Kathy Greenlee recently trimmed billiard champ Willie Mosconi five games in a row). 
Above, right: Intimate Playpen is suspended over Playmate Bar, with Cartoon Corner visible 


enhanced by break taking Bunnies in foreground and breathtaking gatefold photographs 


cue sticks with keyholder in а game of bumper pool. Constant 


background. Above, left: Training Bunny Kelly 
Collins, in town to breok іп a new Bunny brood ("Hare-reising," she calls it), looks over PLAYBOY magazine pictorial in St. Louis Club's stair well. 


163 


san francisco fos angeles 


pra 


ГД quei ae 


Top left: Gracefully sculptured arches highlight trim, handsome lines of Son Francisco Club, which will be opened to members in Spring 1964. 
Above, left: Artist’s conception of interior shows mony-tiered splendor typical of most Playboy Clubs. In this view, Lobby split-levels up to Living 
Room and down to Playmate Bor. Top, center: The $10,000,000 Los Angeles Ployboy Club-Hotel, shown in front view, is scheduled for early 1965. 
In addition to lavishly appointed Playboy Club, it will house а 200-room luxury hotel with office facilities, swimming pool, shopping arcade, health 


164 club and conference rooms. Above, center: Rear view of the 10-story edifice shows plaza, pool and cabonos. In ortist’s renderings above photo 


EXECUTIVE SUITE PENTHOUSE 


LIVING ROOM 


ot right, detail of hotel's swank Executive Suite shows smart duplex styling. Penthouse is glass-enclosed and provides both a magnificent vista of 
Los Angeles and a starlit backdrop for performers. In photo, Big Bunny Hugh Hefner celebrates Club's groundbreaking by shattering champagne 
bottle over bulldozer’s nose, while spectators, newsmen and Bunnies (who dug the event with silver shovels) cheer. In renderings below photo, 
architect's conception of living Room shows multilevel decor enhanced by handsome romp. Lobby stairway, which leads to Playroom, VIP Room 
and 24-hour-o-doy Cartoon Corner Sandwich Shop (which will service poolside members with luncheons), takes members past tumbling waterfall. 


PLAYBOY 


include the fellowship of educated and 
urbane companions, the solicitous pres- 
ence of the most beautiful club girls i 
the world, relaxation in sophisticated and 
decorous surroundings. epicurcan edibl 
and potables at modest prices, and s 
perior entertainment. 

Judging by a recent survey of the 
Playboy Club keyholder, he’s not the type 


of person who needs symbols of status. 
Seventy-five percent of our members are 
cither company ents, vice-presi 


dents, m: s or profes- 
sionals, while dditional eight percent 
own their own businesses. Eighty-four 
percent have completed college and the 
ian annual income of all kevholde 

u 520,000. S 
Hardly. Status holders, yes: trend setters, 
assuredly; taste makers, certainly: Key- 
holders share all this in common, as well 
ts the fact that only they and their 
guests can be admitted to Playboy Clubs 
throughout the world. 

When Publisher-President Hugh M. 
Hefner first conceived the Club concept 
а fu з from the toils of the 
workday world, drawing its personality 
from the pages of ттлувох, he didn't 
ize that the Clubs would be described 
20th Century Dreamworlds” (Fariety) 
or "Gaudy and сайп lands of make- 
believe" (Newsweek). ously, the com- 
mon denominator of both praise and 
criticism of the Clubs is this evocation of 
dicam world, to which Hefner replics, 
“It would be a sad and empty world with- 
out any dreams, Ol course there is a 
amount of make-believe con- 
boy Club — there is 
entertainment. world: 
comes into Playboy, 
übers! mame- 


der tus secke 


filled о; 


with all of the 
When a keyhold 
his name ¢ 
plate board 


ind everyone — 
from bus boys to Bunnies — from floor 
managers to entertainers — helps to make 
him [eel at home (whether he's in The 
Playboy Club in New York or the Philip- 
pines) and they do their best to see that 
he has the time of his life while he and 
his guests are with us." Perhaps what 
these commentators are groping for is an 
explanation for the most. spectacular 
nightclub. phenomenon of our genera- 
tion, that h m the nucleus of 


to 
swing 


250,000-member opera 
x Playboy Clubs already in exist- 


ence in key cities across the U. S. and 


immediate plans for nine more, plus pro- 
jected Clubs for every major city in the 
county and most of the capitals of 
the world. 

Newsweek was the first to dub The 
оу Clubs a “Disneyland for Adults" 
a particularly apt title. The 
famous childre: à incor 
ates suggestions of fantasy, but the 


amusement 


entertainment. is very real, making Dis- 
neyland virtually a dream come true. 
More significant, in relation to The 
Playboy Club concept, this yo 
parad wide 
entertainment that a v 
himself 
time without leavin 
same is truc, oi 


+ provides such 


riety of 


itor сап keep 
amused from opening to clos 


ng 
the premises. The 
an adult level, of The 
Playboy Clubs: for in the tasteful su 
roundings of cach, the male member (stag 
or accompanied) is ollered a complete 
evening of sophisticated. entertainment 
unruffled relaxation in his very own club, 
music, variety, laughter, the eye-fil 
presence of Playboy's own Bunnies. 
excellent bly priced food and 
drink (a complete dinner is the same 
price ny 
drink in the house, from the finest Scotch 
to a champagne cocktail, is $1.50). The 
keyholder can even add an appetizing 

ich to his Playboy Club day. cocktails 
з the afternoon, and a late-night Break- 
fast Bullet and Celebrity Party, with d 
twisting Bunnies. 

The eleme 


s of variety are most clearly 
discernible in the diversity of rooms in 
each Club. The keyholder can relax in 
the elegant and comfortable environment 
of the Playmate Bar, Living Room. Car- 
toon Corner and Piano Bar: he сап be 
entertained in the Playroom and Pent- 
house — usually there is a diflerent show 
in each, timed so that the member can 
see both within two hours. 

The Playboy Clubs! newest addition is 
the candlelit VIP Room (for Very Im- 
portant Playboys). Herc, in а small but 
stately room, elegantly decorated in opu- 
ades of deep blue and contr 
a haulc-cuisine W-course di 
served in resplendent china, silver service 
Xd crystal glassware by liveried butlers 
id velvet-adorned bilingual Bunnies. 
The gastronomic delights of the VIP. 
Room are, understandably, the only ex- 
ception to the flat 51.50 food policy: 
dinner costs $12.50, with lunches or mid- 
ht suppers available at prices vary 
rom 55.50 to 57.50. Seating in these ini 
mate salons is limited to 35 in Chicago 
ad 50 in New York (so far, the only 
Clubs that have VIP Rooms), which 
means that reservations mu: 
advance, 

In addition to the diversity of the 
rooms, the variety of entertainment at 
cach. Club helps enhance the “Dist 
nd" feeling. While most night spots fe: 
ture a show, the Clubs normally put on a 
minimum of two threcact performances 
each ex (except in Phoenix, where 
there is no Playroom at present). “The 
Playboy Circuit,” as reported in Life, "is 
one ol the nation's most important talent 
ubator ad a full roster of enter 
iers supplies fresh shows to the show- 


rooms every two weeks. As a result of its 
extensive scouting system and a policy of 
troducing the best of the nation's 
talented newcomers, The Playboy Club 
become known. in show business 
asthe night-club star maker, intro- 
such previously unknown enter 
iners as Dick Gregory, Jerry Van Dyke, 
Johnny Janis. Jackie Gayle, Ray Kirby 
id the D Apolinar Trio to st 
Barbra Streisand, the night-club sensa 
tion of the season, was under contract to 
play The Playboy Club Circuit a full 
year ago. 

Many members regard the ubiquitous 
Bunnies (rLavnoy, July 1963) as the 
Clubs’ greatest entertainment. The Bun 
nies smile, beguile, serve, sing and dance, 
check hats and coats, manage Playboy 
Club Gift Shops, welcome members at 
the door, lock cue sticks with keyholders 
in diverting games of bumper pool, take 
souvenir photographs of, and with, the 
patrons and, by their very pulchritudi 
nous presence, help to make evenings 
spent at The Playboy Club unforgettable 
iences. The New York Journal- 
American's description of the Playboy 
Bunnies is lattering —" They're just plain 


rdom. 


faces and charming manner” — but incom- 
plete. The Bunnies combine the whole- 
somencss of me stewardesses, the 


glamor of showgirls, and the w: 
ciency of hostesses at a swingin 
party. 

While all the Clubs, present and future, 
e the common denominator of atmos- 
phere, entertainment and Bunnies, none 
of them has been extruded through a 
cookie cutter: each has its own stamp of 
individuality. as typified by the newest 
Club, Phoenix (opened to members in 
December 1962). Located atop the Mayer 
Central building, it's an authentic pent 
house, and members, while dini: 


house 


outdoor ter 
of the city. 
The St. Louis Club wi 
key chain in September 196: 
pyramids form а porte-cochere for key 
holders who enter at 3914 Lindell Blvd. 
and one of the first sights to greet their 
eyes in the magnificent lobby is a v 
behind the t 1, of a trad 


ace, € 


joy a panoramic view 


nely sculptured fountain. 
s ше to the St. Louis Club is a 
Playpen, with seating for 12, suspended 
over the Playmate Bar. Bob Goddard, 
columnist for the St. Louis Globe-Demo- 
crat, has described the Club's multilevel 
decor as “Early Fabulous." "I don't like 
to use the word ‘classy’ any more than I 
п help." writes Goddard, "but let's face 
it, the St. Louis Club is class with a 


(concluded on page 


6) 


| [TN 


CEN 
ERA 


г 


GATING 
TE 


“But most of all, Your Honor, my client wishes the divorce so 
that she'll be free to wed the father of her children!” 


167 


PLAYBOY 


168 amd sat facing 


BILLARD BALLET (continued from page 156) 


roll into and out of patterns in rhythm." 
Й June said. "It sounds won- 
Чеги" 
“So do I.” said Sophia, "and I'd love 
to sce it. But won't it take an awlully 
long 


Phil looked up to nod rucfully. “Yeah. 
ш the balls between cach 
minutes. And 


you need 16 fı es for every second 
of дын film. The whole thing will 


“Well, why do you want to do it, 
exactly? 

‘The two men looked at са 
a moment, then turned back to the 
women. “For fun,” Phil said. “For noth- 
ing else but the sheer pleasure of doing 
it. [ell be ` of the few things done 
in the 20th Century for absolutely no 
other reasoi 

June nodded, and rolled to a sitting 
position L and turned 
to Sophia. "Five will gct you 10 that 
we never Не of it again after tonight. 
going 
to invent? Like is ipe only better? 
And the mailorder business they were 


h other for 


she 


у projects, every one. In 
full, glorious bloom Sunda 
ered and forgotten. Monday 
Sophia nodded at the colored di 
on the floor. “June, don't you realize? 


It's just this week's version of the Sun- 
ht Stall 
“OF course; | should have known" — 


she gkunced at her watch: it wa 
of 12. “Today is Stretchable § 
only day in the week with 
hours.” Working on th 
the men 
this we 


1 quarte 
nday, the 
t least 25 
cir diagram again, 
red her. "Look at them: 
k the Billiard Ballet, next week 


Lord knows what. Did | ever tell you 
that onc Sunday last summer Phil wanted 
hing the car at 19:15 at 

There was a full moon, he 


pointed out, and it was warm outside. 
moon- 


We'd washed dic 
light, he said: an argument i 
пе, ds hard to answe 
“Someday they'll finally figure out how 
to hold off Monday forever "obe 
day for the 
“We sure married a pair of comical 
L Not much on looks, but 
lafbriot, to quote the 
vie ads. How come you're not chuck- 
ling 


never cu by 


be because 
h this or even 
RE iS RG 
1 weeks’ full time, and maybe 
longer." He smiled again, in the manner 
of one about to repeat an old jok 
for a living takes too damn 
And you know something? 
He pushed himself up from the floor, 
oth arms around 


start it. 


his knees, опе hand clasping the other 
wrist. “I finally figured out why. It's 
three-and з till payday for me 
right now, and as is usual at that time 
we're broke. We've got about a buck and 
Vil carry my lunch 
Well, I used to laugh 


docs the : 
lorget it. But lately I've been thinkin 
about where it goes. You know what 


moncy 


the reaLestate man said when we boug 
our house? He said it cost ‘eighte 
and thats how I thought about it for 
quite a while. Then it occurred to me 
that another way to say it—very slowly 
--is 518,500. It sounds different tl 


way. but I think it's the right way to 
say it because its going to take me 
exactly 24 years to pay it, and that isn't 


all. When we fin; own the house — 
in 1987, and we want you over to dinner 
to celebrate — ГИ have paid out 
other 512,000 interest on the mort 
gage, sev eight thousand more in 
county taxes, amd several thousand on 
top of that in repairs and upkeep. At 
least $40,000 all told. Well, Raymond. 
my boy, it takes years and years of 
getting up in the morning and going 
to work to save up that much. You 
spend ycars of. your life just to buy a 
roof ovcr your head." 

He held up а hand against interrup- 
tion, though none of the others had 
'd to speak, “And you've got to have 
don't you? lt never enters your 
head that you don't. But Fm wa 
you: don't ever sit down and figure out 
what it really costs. Three thousand 
bucks just to buy onc, every few years 
Well, that's over four months’ work for 
me, after taxes. And it's only the begi 
ning. Add insurance each year, license, 
gus. tires, repairs, parking fees, meter 
lees, tolls — and, man, it's fantastic what 
a chunk of your life goes into сагай 
what it takes just to drive a car around 
you could make halfa-dozen Billiard 
Ballets in that time! Another full quar 
ter of ever n — onc fourth of 
my working life — goes lor nothing but 
taxes, income 
ах, liquor tax, cigarette tay! 
June and E have a decent house, decent 
clothes, food, car and some luxuries bi 
sides, and that But some- 
times I wonder: Do you г 
spend over half your wakiı 
job or getting to and from 
the necessiti of 
over? Could the: 
quicker w 


an 


ta 
— for just 
e and something 
possibly be another 
ict them if I could only 


find one? So that every once i 
all through your 'd have enou 
of it left over to go to work on a Billiard 
Ballet just for the sheer fun of itè” 

Though several seconds they 


sat 


embar; 
a hand 


ssedly, look 

through his hair. 
"Right So йз Up, Rebel 
free Ireland! Let's work all ni 
Pool Table Polka, and to hell with the 
jobs in the шоп But even as he 
spoke he was getting to his feet, then 
he stood stretching his back and shoul 
ders. The evening was over and not long 
afterward the Dabneys went home. 

On Friday of the next week the sky 
cleared, the sun came out strong and 
warm, and as happens several times dur 


img a California winter, it was brici 
summer again. Saturday was warmer still 
and immediately after breakfast Ras 


told Sophia that he'd like to take th 
; that he'd be gone all day and, smil 
ig as he said it, she was to ask no qu s 
tions. But it was nearly eight озю. 
before he was home in, with Sophia 
beginning to worry. Then he came i 
through the kitchen door, from the gi- 
ge, and he was smiling, and she saw 
that his eves were excited. Before she 
could speak he held up a hand. “A bi: 
ог; hold the questions till tomorrow: 
oing on a picnic with the Dab- 
neys, and ifs a surprise till we get 


Sunday was bright and clear, almost 


hot, and they left early in the Rasmus 
sens’ four-year-old Plymouth station 
wagon; the women in sweaters and 


slacks, the men in wash pants and wool 
shirts, By H o'dock they were dr 
рам the domed State Capitol buildi 


in Sacramento, Ray still refusing to say 
where they were going. At поо 
dow s past Placerville, the 


mountain foothills, Ray turned off U. 
50 onto an asphalt county road. A few 
miles later he turned off this onto a 
irt road. drove for a mile, 
parked. Then, the men taking turns ca 
rying the wicker basket of lunch Soph 
had prepared, they walked into the 
woods, following a trail, for a quart 
mile, 

They came out into а natural clearis 
a meadow of some several acres sloping 
to а small steam. It was entirely sur 
rounded by tall pines, and above and be- 
yond them the snow-capped peaks of the 
Sierra Nevadas rose in the hazy distance. 
It was a beautiful place, secluded and 
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in the sui 


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face, they ate lunch. Then Sophia and 
June poured coffee, steaming from the 
insulated jug, and now, cups in hand, the 


others tu d to Ray. Phil said, "OK, 

Кау: its a great spot and I'm glad we're 

here. But it’s а long drive for a picnic.” 
He smiled, noddir 


acknowledg- 


ment of the implied questi 
is a nice spot. Yesterday I looked at half- 
adozen others a here, all just about 
as nice: the woods are full of them. 
guy from Placerville took me 
a loc estate man. You know what 
property like this costs? OIF the roads 
and utility lines? Maybe a 5100 an acre, 
not a lot more. You could buy this whole 
place, as far as you can see, for only a 
few hundred bucks. 

The od iodding. 
and June said, her voice pl 
mean to come to in the summers 

“Be great here in the summer, wouldn't 
it" Ray answered. "Is perfectly possi- 
ble, vou know, to build your own cot- 
c. Out of logs. From the trees right on 
your own property. It'd be work; plenty 
of it, and hard, but it's perfectly prac 
tical and the kind of hard work I'd 
actually enjoy. Wouldn't you, Phil?” 
Phil nodded, and Ray lifted his arm to 
point up the slope of the cle “Tve 
thought about how you'd do it. You'd 
cut your logs up on the slopes, all around 
the edges of the woods. You'd trim and 
peel them where they fell. Using ropes 
and levers, you'd roll them downhill to 
the site. Phil and I'd work together; 
build two cabins, one for each of us. 
They'd have only one room at first. You'd 
add on in subsequent years, as many 
more rooms as you wanted to have. 
They’ most nothing but the work 
ling them. You'd even 
ke your own shingles; shack sl 
n't hard to split once you 
k. I think maybe you'd buy alumi 
num window frames and screens, and 
the flooring, but thats about all. A 
couple of fireplaces in the house, and 
you'd he snug and warm in the winter, 
100: wouldn't Christmas up here in the 
snow be somethin 

Phil had been nodding. frequently 

his hand through his hair. “Be 
terrific. Cut your own Christmas tree! 
And you'd be perfectly warm, all right; 
walls аге fine insulation. What's the 


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sed. 


were 


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would bc And 1 know you two 
could build them. But before you get all 
worked up 
advance for once! H 
up here and halba-day back leaves опе 
day а week, plus a two-week vacation, to 
build your cabins. It simply isn't enough 
time!” 

“I know; I'm not 
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Ray, and he set down his cup. got to 
his feet, shoving both hands into the 
back pockets of his tan wash pants. Not 
looking at the others, he began to slow- 
ly walk the flat surface of the great rock. 
“Do me a favor: all of you. Just listen to 
what I say and don't laugh till Im fin- 
ished; then, if you [eel like it, laugh all 
you want.” He turned to look at Phil. 
“What you said last Sunday is absolutely 
true; been thinking about it all 
week. A man spends a big hunk of his 
life just paying for a house to live in. 
Tens of thousands of dollars, all told, 
just for a house on a 60-foot scrap of 

id." He flung out an arm at the clear 
ng around them. “But here's a hundred 
times as much land that costs a fraction 
as much, and your house comes with it 
practically free! Over no more than three 
or four years you could build a house 
just as big as you wanted it, just as solid. 
and strong and good as the houses we 
own — ог that own us. And that's the 
end of it. You'd own it! Free and clear! 
Monthly payments zero! Good Lord; 
you'd save years of your own life!" He 
stood look at them, cyes elated. Then 
he leaned toward them, and said softly, 
à y of you tell me why the hell we 
don't do it?” 

Alter a long moment Sophia spoke — 
as gently as though speaking to a child. 
“Ray, Ray. How would we live? Where 
would you get a job? And at what” 

He grinned at her. “I wouldn't, baby; 
that's just the point. I wouldn't need 
one. What's a job for, when you think 
about it? Unless it’s something а man 
loves and really wants to spend his days 
at, why does ре have a job? Only to buy 
, some lu 
own hou 
and truly could. As for food — 
what are you buying, Sophia and June, 
when you pay out nearly one-third of a 
dollar for a small can of peas for sup- 
per? You're paying for а steel can. a 
label printed in color, for cardboard 
shipping cartons, canneries. diesel trucks, 
warehouse: nd for a big fluorescent- 
hted supermarket to buy it in. You 
almost forget that the peas themsclves 
just grow out of the ground. And that 
it's perfectly easy to grow them and that 
it could be done right here. Right there. 
by the stream, on hall ап acre of our 
own land, we could grow all the peas, 
beans, carrots, beets, corn, lettuce, toma- 
toes апа all the rest of it, that the four of 
us could possibly ea 

His voice surprised. 
true, isn't it? In fact, that’s exactly what 
everyone did as a matter of course only a 
couple of generations ago. People didn't 
buy their fruits and vegetables; they 
raised them in backyard truck gardens. 
Ate them fresh all summer and ned 
the rest in Mason jars for the winter. 
And you know something else? I've got 
a good shotgun; in the winter, when 


ice 


they'd keep, we'd kill three or four deer. 
"That's meat for weeks!” 
‘And the other weeks? 
most sarcastically. 

Phil smiled, holding a hand up de- 
fensively. “I don't know! I haven't de- 
cided to move here tomorrow! | don't 
know if it’s practical, or what 1 think of 
it" Then he shook his head, and almosi 
muttering it to himself, he added, "Ex- 
cept that it’s the damnedest, most excit- 
ing idea I've heard in years. 

Ray said, "Sure, Junie — we'd have to 
buy meat sometimes. Other things, too; 
salt, sugar, flour. And still other things 
for variety, and суеп luxury. Well, Phi 
and I'd work for them; maybe two or 
three months out of every year. There 
are farms all around us, there's a saw- 
, towns, county roads to work on 
ski resorts; a man could easily 
by the day or weck or month. 
earn a few hundred dollars cach year. 
And that's all we'd need for house, food, 
and clothes, too; because day in and day 
Out we'd wear denims, not expensive 
dresses and business suits that cost half 
a week's pay! 

"Oh, for heaven sakes, Ray! 
burst out. "What about water, ga 
tricity? Whar about entertainment? And 
ling a book, magazine and newspaper 
ly? What about seeing other 
people, getting into civ 
What about — 

"Hold it!" He walked over to Sophia, 
squatted before her and took her hand 
in his, “Relax, baby; no one’s got a gun 
in your back. You've got full veto power; 
you ought to know that.” Then, speal 


* June said al- 


ing to the others, too, "It's not some- 
thing amy of us ought to decide in a 


hurry, unless you already know you're 
absolutely against it. We couldn't begi 
work on the cabi uch of an 
thing till the rains stop. And that's sev- 
eral weeks away yet. This would be a 
big decision; we ought to talk it over 
plenty. 

They did; starting at once. On the 
way home, June said, “1 suppose you two 
pioneers are prepared to give up your 
cars along with your jobs? The two sort 
of go togetha 

Phil said, 


"Ive been sitting here 
thinking about that. Take this car. Ray's 
finally finished ‘ing for it. But all tha 
means is that he's now entering the big- 
repair period. From now on, till he 
brcaks down and buys а new car and 
starts the cycle all over again, he can 
expect some nice fat repair bills every 
now and then. Like 65 buc And 
$149.50. Because it's far too complicated 
a piece of machinery for him to repair 
himself, even he had the tools. But 
you know something? Ray could sell th 
car tomorrow morning, and I could scll 
mine, and we'd have at least three times 
what we'd need to buy a Model A Ford 
sedan!” 


“Well, I guess that settles that...” 


“Heaven help us.” 
rage on a $40 scrap of 
and next to the county road up 
there, and we're set! A Model A never 
ars out il you * ol it; OR 
proved that. They give twice the gas 
mileage, they're so simple we could re- 
ir it ourselves, and even the license 
pest you can buy! We could 
drive into Placerville every week, and 
even down to San Francisco twice a year, 
on two or three bucks a month 
"Damn right" Ray was delighted. 


“Leave the chrome, white and 
power ette lighters to those who 
want them.’ 


They talked about it at the Dabneys'; 
the men lounging in the kitchen door- 
way while the women made waflles for 
supper. "You don't mind waflles golden 
brown from an electric wallle iron, do 
you?” Sophia said. “Eaten under the 
harsh glare of electric lights? 
don't mind," Ray said, 
think electricity is a necessity either. My 
grandfather didn't have it in his house 
nd he lived in the heart of New York 
City.” 

Phil said, "For that matter, we didn't 
have it in my folks’ summer cottage near 
‘Tahoe when 1 was a kid. We used kero- 
sene lamps and they gave a fine 

teady and bright, wonderful to 
And a -bit can of kerosene lasted. all 
summer. Hell, when you think 
the ce living in 
the Palace of Versailles never had lights 
even a fraction 


"but I don't 


bout it, 


“That's right. And while a kerosene 
stove tikes a little longer to start, once 
s just as hot and even a 
as or electricity. So who needs 
a $25 nd light bill every month? 
Who really needs every last thing that's 
ever been invented? 

Pouring batter imo the wafle iron, 
Sophia nodded, “Fine; that takes care of 
gas and electricity. But it may be harder 
to do without water. 

Ray looked at Phil. “She thinks it has 
to come out of a faucet or it doesn’t 
count.” To Sophia he said, “We'd have 
running water, kiddo; it would run right 


flame as 


I'd have to carry it in, 1 know th 
less Phil and I rigged up some wa 
. But I'm ng to haul water, 
aren't you, Phil? 
105 what we're built for, 


isn’t it? 


Why are we men, why do І м 180, 
what аге my muscles for?" Clenching 


his fists, he began rotating his shoulders 
slowly, moving his big back mu: 
“It can't be to sit at a desk all d 
ing little pieces of paper around. When 
k about it, it's the most un- 


ever dreamed up — sitting all your life; 
getting flabby in mind, muscles and guts. 
We're made to carry th nd to cut 
down tees and hunt for na 
in the doorway, he glared at the 
two women; then he shook his head. 
“God, I'd love to build my own house!” 
he said; and after a moment June 


171 


PLAYBOY 


walked over to him, her eyes suddenly 
soft, and kissed him. 

At five minutes of two, all si 
the Dabneys living room still talking, 
Sophia stood up. "It's absolutely practi- 

4L" Ray was saying to Phil. "Sell the 
two houses and cars and get our equities 
k. and we'd have several thousand 
dollars apiece. Buy our Model A, our 


tools, tents and gear for the first summer 
while we build the cabins, and we'd 
still have a nice emergency fund left 


over." He looked up at Sophia. "Whats 
the matter 


кЧ) I we don't go home; so will 
June.” Smiling ruefully at June, she 


Said, “The Sunday 
them all. 

"Wasn't it a beauty? This onc started 
Saturday morning! 

But on Thursday, June phoned Sophia 
"Listen, that was no Sunday-n 
Stall. Phil's absolutely serious; he doesn't 
talk about anything else.” 

"I know. Ray, too. Even at breakfast 

Well, what're we going to do, Soph? 
I'm worried; I really am. If we let them 
keep on, they'll talk us all into a pair 
of log cabins! 

There was a pause, then Sophia said 
slowly, “June, there's one thing 1 have 
to do. If Ray is serious about this, then 

‘ve got to be, too. T could kill the whole 
th my attitude: Ray would give 
it up if he felt 1 really and truly hated 
the whole idea. So it woukln't be fair to 


-night Stall to end 


п not to give this an honest chance in 
my own mind, silly as it seems. And 
that's what Гуе been doi 


here by myself in the dayt 
washing dishes, or vacuuming, | think 
about it, uying to imagine how it would 
be. And Гуе got to tell you, June: the 
moments when 1 almost wonder if 
it isn't actually possible. 

Well, thank goodness. 
to say i Because Phil's been aft 
me morning and night, and he’s got me 
half-thinking that all in all, recognizing 


1 wanted you 


first 


the problems and even hardships, it 
might just possibly be a wonderful 
way to liv 


That Sunday all 
was stopped, by 
women su 

sitting or lying on the floor belore the 
Rasmussens’ tiny fireplace; it had turned 
cold Phil had been 
des simple block- 
ad about in 


Ik on the subject 
general agreement. The 
мей 


Again they were 


d rainy once mor 
п sketches, 
method hed г 


y one noon hour for raising 
logs imo place while building à cabin. 
He finished. then June said. “And now 


We've said it 
nd Soph and 
1 think we ought to have a moratorium 
on any talk for a while. 
looked over at Sophia for confirma 

5s, it's time to shut up, really th 


weve talked 
Ll Most of 


enough. 
it twice, 


more 


172 this over, then make up our minds once 


and for all. 

Phil nodded. “Well, that makes sense. 
What about two weeks of silence while 
we think about it? If we all want to do 
it then, we'll know we really mean it.” 
"IUSOK. 


They looked at Ray, who said, 
with me; its a good idea, But there's 
something l'd like everyone to be des 


about before we 
оу And Ц 
about mal 
own cloth 
20th Centu 
talking 
sible 


shut up and think th 
t is that we're not talking 
$ our own soap, Weaving OUT 
nd retreating from. the 
just the opposite. We're 
about making the best pos 
tme we live in — by 

from the best it offers We'll 
Us really useful, but forget the 
e the penicillin and forget 
ck scratchers, And by su 
g to the essentials of good livi 
get back our own lives and have more 
time to live!” Smiling, but his voice 
tense, hı "And believe me, w 
really live: hat's what 1 want voi 
think about. Picture 
for the kind of r 
a chance for otherwi 
bri books 
the Placerville libra 
meant to теза for years. Now there'd be 
time for them to discuss and 
think about them. And we'd play chess 
and bridge and have hobbics. We'd take 
hikes, we'd hunt, fish, work in the gar 
den, sk ter, make things for 
ourselves. There'd probably come a sum- 
mer when we'd all build a logand-earth 
dam to make a pool biz enough to swim 
in. And we'd sce people more than ever 
before; new friends up around there, and 
old ones who'd drive up from the Вау 
And ГИ tll you something els 

after a year or so. when they saw how it 
. some of those friends would мау; 
cabins, too, and join us. One 

Soph and I want childr 
soon now, and 1 know you two do. We'v 
talked about that; there are farms up 
there, other children for them to know 
d play with. 


use of the 
selecting 


Be 


g we'll 


said, 


. Every week we'd 
ad magazines from 
ry, books we've all 


ag home 


for nd time 


the м 


а! ‘There's a school less than 


two miles away they could walk to; 
through woods part of the way, a 
country road the rest. It would be a 


wonderful place and a wonderful way for 
children to grow up in, They'd miss the 
joys of spending sunny days in а dark. 
ened room watching animated 

figures beat cach other up on television 
But they'd learn a lot about the woods 
and fields and about the four 

He shrugged. “Thats all I wa 


artoon 


seasons. 
ted to say: 


that this may be more than just practical, 
it may be fun. Here, in the 20th 
Century, we may just possibly have hit 


on a wonderful way to live out our lives. 

They kept their agreement, or very 
nearly, Two weeks later they met at the 
Dabneys for Sunday Мим. June 
served scrambled eggs and sausage; then, 
over second cups of collec, cigarettes 
lighted, plates pushed aside, Phil tur 


bre: 


to Ray and said quietly, "ОК: what's the 
word with you two?” 

Ray took a fi sip of coffee, set his 
cup down carefully, then looked up at 


. "Phil, l'm sorry but we broke ow 
word: Soph and 1 have been 
about this for the last two its, 

‚ we can't make up our 

ie looked from Phil to June, 

at Phil, and. shrugged help- 


y's happened.” 


v nodded several times. “I 
could give you the long version; all the 
stuff. we've talked about for hours. But 
maybe T can say it all in four words— I 


ot a raise.” For a moment or so he sat 
searching their faces, then he said defen- 
sively, "Matter of fact, it’s a pretty damn 


good one. 1 don't know if you'll under- 
stand, but—' 

Phil laughed then; a single bark of 
abrupt laughter, “Oh, 1 understand,” he 
said, "I understand very well. About 10 
days ago the rumors started at work; the 
head of my department was going to 
leave. Friday we learned that its truc. 
Ray, that means somebody will have to 
replace him, and the funny thing is that 


it looks as if I've got a chance if I want 
and 


to make а try for it. So wc under: 
you. Ray, boy: we've been talking. too 

They laughed then, uneasily: olleri 
jokes. shaking their heads. Then Sophia 
looked around the table, “Well?” she 
said. "Today's the day. We've got to de- 
cide. We can't just talk forever. What 


are we going to do?" 
No one answered. T 
at their plates, 


e men sat sta 
restlessly tapping their 
1 Ray said, “Well do 
what my father did." They looked up. 
and Ray said, "He was a doctor, and not 
long before he was married — he'd been 
practicing about а car — he was offered 
© to go dowu the Amazon River 
as part of an expedition. exploring and 
mapping: to be the doctor for the party. 
It would mean giving up his practice, 
gain after a year 
but he wanted to do it, and he thought 
about it, and agonized over it, and finally 
made up his mind.” 
Ray waited till Phil said, 
did he do? 
Ray smiled slightly and tilted back on 
rear legs of his chair. "He did what 
е going to do, Phil. He talked 
thought about it. And finally, for a lon: 
long list of very excellent and sound 
sensible and. practical considerations, he 
decided agai Ray dropped his 
chair to its four legs, leaning forward 
across the table to look the others in the 
eye. "And then— not Ys by any 
. but just every now and the 


a cha 


“Well? 


What 


th 


d 


alwa 


y once in a while during all the long 
ad successful years that followed — he 
regretted it for the rest of his lii 


IT DIDN'T HAPPEN 


that he was someone connected with 
show who had a legitimate 
son lor wanting to sce her. 
decent?" he asked. 

Sta minute,” she called back, and 
then, just a minute- "OK." 

He entered and found. her standing 
facing him, in a bright-red wrapper that 
beautifully set olf her blue c and 
blonde hair, He bowed and introduced 
himself, then began to explain the de- 
tails of the proposition he wished to 
offer her. 


prepared for initial reluctance 
n refusal and ready to become per- 
suasive сус 


more than h 
more than her monthly take — 


a bur- 


lesque house as small as this one. But 
instead of listening reasonably, she was 
suddenly ser it him like a virago, 


is insulting enough, but then 
serious mistake Of 
а step forward and slapping him 
Hard. It hurt. 

mper, retreated а step, 
r and shot her in 


which 
she made the very 
takin: 
across the face. 

He lost his t 
took out his revolve 
the heart. 

‘Then he left the theater and took a 
i home to his apartment. He had a 
few drinks to soothe his understandably 
ruffled nerves and went to bed. He was 


(continued from page 133) 


sleeping soundly when, at a little after 
Inight, the police came and arrested 
him for murder. He couldn't under- 
stand it. 


Mortimer Mearson, who was possibly 
ily the best criminal attorney 
ed to the clubhouse the 
ter an early round of golf 
for him a message 
requesting him to call Judge Amanda 
Hayes at carliest convenience. He 
called her at once. 

"Good mori 
Someth 

“Someth у 
free the тем of the morning and сап 
drop around to my chambers, you'll save 
me going into it over the telephon 


next morning 
and found waiting 


Your Honor he 


“TIL be with you within an hour" he 
told her. And he w 
“Good morning Your Judge- 


ship," he si 
br 

“A case for you 
cinctl 


Suc- 


state- 


atement, un 
torney 


ment, any si 
sulted an 
onc. Says he's never been in any 

trouble before and doesn’t even know 
any attorneys. 


to me on said recommendation.” 

Mearson sighed. "Another free case. 
Well, I suppose it's about time I took 
one again. Are you appoi 
Down, boy." said Judge Haye 
a free case at a 
question isn’t rich, but he's reason 
well-heeled. A fairly wellknown you 
man about town, a bon vivant, what have 
you, well able to айога any fee you wish 
to charge him, within reason, Not that 
your fee will probably be within reason. 
but that’s between you and him, if he 
accepts you to represent him." 

And does this paragon of virtue — 
most obviously innocent and maligned 
€ a name? 

“He does, and you will be fan 
with it il you read the columnists. Lorenz 
Ka 


ing me?" 
"Not 


I. The gentleman in 
bly 


nt. Uh — 1 didn't see the mor 
Whom is he alleged to hav 
And do you know any of the 


inuoc 
papers. 


be 


“Irs going to be a toughie, Morty 
boy,” the judge said. "I don't thi 
there's a prayer of a chance for him othe 
than an insanity plea. The victim was a 
stage name and no 
valid one will come to 
1 stripper at the Majestic. 
Star of the show Ци ^ number of 
people saw Kane 


Queenie Quinn — 
doubt a morc 


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her last nui nber and saw him leave right 


's what led 
" 


y sight and i 
the police to him. He passed the doom 


lc, several people һе: non 
i after the end of the 
show, Miss Quinn was found dead, shot 
to death, in her dressing room." 
"Hmm," sid Mearson. "Simple n 
ter of his word against the door З 
Nothing to it. ГЇЇ be able to prove that 
the doorman is not only a. pathological 
liar but has a record longer than W 
the-StilUs arm.” 
bly, Morty. But. In view of 
ive prominence, the police took a 
as well as a warrant for 
suspicion of murder when they 
it to ger him. They found. in the 
pocket of the suit he had been wearing, a 
aliber revolver with one cartridge 
fired. Miss Quinn was killed by one bul- 
let fired from a iber revolver. The 
very same revolver, according to the b 
istics expert of our police department, 
who fired a sample bullet and used a 
comparison microscope on it and the 
bullet that killed Miss Quinn.’ 
"Hmm and double hmm, 
said. "And you say that Kı 
no statem 


arrest oi 
Hm 


Mearson 
ie has made 
xcept to the 
effect that he will make no statement 
until he has consulted with an attorney 
of his ch 

Tru strange 
remark he made immediately after being 


pt wha 


soever 


awa xd accused. Both of the arrest- 
ng officers heard it and agree on it, even 
to the exact wording. He said, "My God, 


she must have been realt 
suppose he could possibly have meant 
by that?” 

“I haven't the faintest, Your Judge 


ship. But if he accepts me as his attorne 
I shall most certainly ask him. Mea 
while, I don't know whether to than 
vou for giving me a chance 
to cuss at you for handing me a very 
damned hot potato, 

“You like hot potatoes, Morty, and you 
. Especially since you'll get your 
fee win or lose. ГЇЇ save you from mak 
w 


ted motions in one direction, though. 
No use trying for bail or for 
corpus writ, The D. А. jumped in with 
both feet the moment the ba 
port came up heads. The charge is formal, 
murder in the first. And the prosecution 
doesn't need any mor t 
have; they're ready to go to trial 
as they can pressure you into it. Well, 
what are you waiting for: 
Nothing,’ 


1. He left. 


A guard brought. Lorenz Kane to the 
consultation room and left him there 
with Mortimer M. - Mearson intro- 
aself they shook hands, 

son thought, looked quite 
ad definitely more puzzled than 
worried. He was a tall, moderately good- 
looking man in his late 30s, impeccably 
groomed despite a night in a cell. One 
got the idea that he was the type of man 
who would manage to appear impeccably 
groomed anywhere, any time, even a week 
after his bearers had deserted in mid. 
safari 900 miles up the Gongo, taking 
his possessions with them. 

“Yes, Mr. Mearson. I shall be more 
ve you represent me. I've 
heard of you. read about cases you've 
handled. 1 don't know why I didn't think 
of you myself, i for a 
recommendation. Ht to 
hear my story before you accept me as a 
client — or do you accept as of now, for 
better or for worse? 

For better or for worse," 


Mearson 


“I thought you said they were expecting us?” 


said. “till—" And then stopped himself: 
"till death do us part" is hardly a diplo- 
phrase to use to a man who stands, 
quite possibly, in the shadow of the elec- 
tric chair. 

But 


and finished the 
phrase h he said. "Let's sit 
down, then." and they sat down on the 
rs, опе on each side of the table 


iltation. тоот. “And since 
means we'll be seeing quite a bit of 
cach other for а while, let's мап on a 


name ba: 
case. It's Larry.’ 


my 


Mearson 
your story in detail, but 
m mia questions first. Ате you——? 

Kane interrupted him, “One 
quick Дог ion ahead of vour two. Arc 
you absolutely and completely. posi 
that this room is not bugged, th 


conversation is completely private? 
Mearson said. "Now my 
question: Are you 


mming up, you 
"Му God, she must have be 
that true, and if so, what did you mean 
by 

“I was stunned at the moment, Morty, 
and can't remember — but 1 probably 
said something to that effect, because it’s 


exactly what I was thinking. But as to 
what I meant by їс = that's something I 
can't answer quickly. The only way I can 


© you unders 
nd at all, 


nd, if 1 can make you 
is to start at the be- 


And take your time. 


We don't have to go over everything in 
T can stall the trial at least 


three months — longer if nece 

7I can tell it fairly quickly. It s 
and don't ask me for an 
the pronoun if — five-and 
ago, in early April. About 2:30 a.t. on 
the morning of Tuesday, April the third 
to be as nearly exact about it as I can 
Thad been ata party in Armand Village, 
north of town, and was on my way 
home. 1——" 

“Forgive interruptions. Want to be 
sure I have the whole picture as it un- 


ntecede 


Speeding? 
“Sober, yes. I'd left the p 
dull bit — and had 
nks moderately at 
that time. But 1 found myself suddenly 
quite hungry— I think Id forgotten to 
cat dinner — and stopped at a roadhousc. 
I had one cocktail while 1 was wait 
but I ate all of a big steak when it came, 
all the trimmings, and had several cups 
of collec. And no drinks afterward. I'd 
say that when 1 left there, 1 was more 
sober than usu know what I 


y — it was rather 
1 fecling my di 


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cool night air. On the whole, I'd say that 
I was soberer than I am now— and I 
haven't had a drink since shortly before 
midnight last night. Io" 

"Hold it a moment," Mcarson said. He 
took a silver flask from his hip pocket and 
extended it across the table. "A relic of 
Prohibition: I occa ly use 


range 
tion of the necessities of life. 
пе said, "Ahh. Morty, you may 
double your fee for service beyond the 
1 of duty." He drank deeply. 
“Where were we?" he asked. “Ob, yes. 
1 was definitely sober. Speeding? Only 
technically. E was he south on Vine 


Street a few blocks short of Rostoy——” 
“Ne i 


r the 4th Preci 
actly. It бош 
zone and Î was going about 40, but what 
the hell, it was half-past two in the moi 
ing and there wasn't any other. traffic. 
Only the proverbial little old lady from 
Pasadena would have been going less 
than 40." 

"She wouldn't have been out that late. 
But carry on.” 

“So, all of a sudden, out of the mouth 
of an alley in the middle of the block. 
comes a girl on a bicycle, ped. 
fast as а bicycle can go. And т 
front of me. I got one clear flash of her as 
I stepped on the brake as hard as I could. 
She was a teenager, like 16 or 17. She had 
red E that was blowing out from under 
brown babushka she had on her head. 
he wore a lightgreen Angora sweater 
nd tan pants of the kind they call pedal 
pushers. She was on а red bicycle." 

“You got all that in one glimps 

"Yes. I can still visualize it dearly. 
— this Vll never forget — just before the 
moment of impact, she turned and was 
looking straight at me, throi 
ened eyes behind shellrimmed glasses, 
My foot was, by then, trying to push 
the brake pedal through the floor and 
the damned Jag was starting to slew 
make up its mind whether to go end over 
end or what. But, hell, no matter how 
ax your reactions are —and mine are 
pretty good — you can barely start to 


0. I must have still been going 
over 30 when I hit her — it was а Hell of 
n impact. 
“And then,bump-crunch, bump-crunch, 
s first the front wheels of the Jag went 
over and then the back wheels. The 
bumps were her, of course, and the 
crunches were the bicycle. And the car 
shuddered to a stop maybe another 30 
feet on. 

“Ahead of me, through the windshield, 
T could see the lights of the precinct 
station only a block away. 1 got out of 
the car and started ru for it. I didn't 
look back. I didn't want to look back. 
There was no point to it: she had to be 


176 deader than dead, after that impact. 


“Tran into the precinct house and after 
a few seconds T got coherent enough to 
get across what 1 was trying to tell them, 
Two of the city's finest left with me and 
we started back the block to the scene 
of the accident. I started out by running, 
but they only walked fast and 1 slowed 
down because [ wasn't anxious to get 
there first. Well, we got there 

“Let me guess,” the attorney 
ginl, no bicycle." 

Kane nodded slowly. “There was the 
slewed crooked in the street. Head- 
hts on. Ignition key still on, but the 
engine had stalled. Behind it, about 40 
feet of skid marks, starting a dozen fect 
back of the point where the alley cut into 
the street. 

“And that was all, No girl. No bicycle. 
Not а drop of blood or a scrap of metal. 
Not а scratch or a dent on the front of 
the car, They thought I was crazy and I 
don’t blame them. They didn't even trust 
me to get the car off the one of 
them did that and parked it at the curb — 
and kept the key instead of handing it to 
me — and they took me back to the station. 
house and questioned me. 

"E was there the rest of the night. I 
suppose I could have called a friend and 
had the fiend get me an attorney to get 
me out on bail, but I was just too shaken 
to think of it. Maybe even too shaken to 
want out, to have any idea where I'd want 
to go or what I'd want to do if I got out 
I just wanted to be alone to think and, 
after the questioning, a chance to do th. 
was just what I got. They didn't toss me 
into the drunk tank. ess I was well 
enough dressed, had enough impressive 
identification on me, to convince them 
that, sane or nuts, ] was a solid and sol- 
vent citizen, to be handled with kid gloves 
and not a rubber hose. Anyw: 
a single cell open and put me 
was content to do my th: 
didn't even try to sleep. 

"The next morning they had а police 
headshrinker come in to talk to me. By 
that time I'd simmered down to the point 
where 1 realized that, whatever the score 
was, the police weren't going to be any 
help to me and the sooner I got out of 
their hands the better. So T conned the 
headshrinker a bit by starting to pla 
story down instead of telling it str 
T left out sound effects, like the crunch- 
ing of the bicycle being run over and I 
left out. kinetic sensations, fec 
impact and the bumps, gave it to him as 
what could have becn purely a. sudden 
and momentary visual hallucination. He 
bought it after a while, and they let 
me go.” 

Kane stopped talking long enough to 
take a pull at the silver flask and then 
asked, “With me so far? And, whether 
you believe me or not, any questions?" 

“Just one,” the attorney said, “Are you, 
can you be, positive that your experience 
with the police at the 44th is objective 


and verifiable? In other words, if this 
comcs to a trial and we should decide on 
an insanity defense, can I call as wit 
nesses the policemen you talked to and 
the police psychiatrist? 

Kane grinned a little crookedly. “To 
me, my experience with the police is just 
as objective as my running over the girl 
on the bicycle. But at least you can verily 
the former, See if it’s on the blotter and 
if they remember it. Ой 

“I'm hip. Carry on 

“So the police were satisfied that I'd had 
a hallucination. I damned well wasn’ 
I did several things. I had a garage 
the Jag up on a rack and I went over the 
underside of it, as well as the front. No 
sign. OK, it hadn't happened, as far as 
the car was concerned. 

“Second, I wanted to know if a g 
that description, living or dead, had be 
out on a bicycle that night. I spent several 
thousand dollars with a private-detective 
agency, having them canvass that neigh- 
borhood — and a fair area around it — 
with а fine-tooth comb to find if a girl 
that description currently. or 
ever had existed, with or without a red 
bicycle. They came up with a few pos 
sible redheaded teenagers, but I man: 
aged to get a gander at cach of them: 
no dice. 

1nd, after asking around, I picked a 
headshrinker of my own and started go 
g to him, Allegedly the best in the city. 
certainly the most expensive. Went to 
him for two months. It was a washout. 
I never found out what he thought had 
happened: he wouldn't talk. You know 
how psychoanalysts work, they make you 
do the talking, analyze yourself and final 
ly ll them whars wrong with you, then 
you yak about it awhile and tell them 
you're cured, and they then agree with 
you and tell you to go with God. All 
right if your subconscious knows what 
the score is and eventually lets it leak 
out But my subconscious didn't know 
which end was up, so 1 was wasting my 
time, and I qui 

"But meanwhile Га leveled with a few 
friends of mine to get thei leas and 
опе of them — а professor of philosophy 
at the u ii 


of 


on ontology and gave me a clue. In 
T thought it was more than a chu 
thought it was the answer. Until [a 
night. Since last night I know I was at 
least partly wron 

“Ontology ——" said Mearson, 
ly familiar, but will you pi 
for me? 

"I quote you the Webster Unabridged, 
unexpurgated version: Ontology is ‘the 
science of being or reality; the branch of 
knowledge that investigates the nature 
essential properties, and relations of be- 
. as such." " 

Kane glanced at his wrist watch. “But 
this is taking longer to tell than I thought. 


Word's 
it down 


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178 


I'm getting tired talking and no doubt 
you're even more tired of listening, Shall 
we finish this tomorrow?" 

“An excellent idea, Lamy." Mi 
stood up. 

Kane tilted the silver flask for the last. 
drop and handed it back. “You'll play 
Saint Bernard again? 

“I went to the 4th," Mearson said. 
“The incident vou described to me is on 
the blotter all right. And I talked to one 
of the two coppers who went back with 
you to the scene of the — uh — back to 
the сат. Your reporting of the 
was real, no question of that." 

“ГИ start where I left off,” Kane said. 
‘Ontology. the study of the nature of re 
In reading up on it I came across 
which originated with the 
«екъ It is the belief that the entire 
universe is the product of one’s ima 
nation — in imagination. 
t L myself am the only concrete re 
wd that all things and. all other 
people exist only in my mind.” 

son frowned. "So. then 
on the bicycle, having only an imaginary 
existence to begin with, ceased to exist 
— uh, retroactively, as of the 
killed her? Leaving no trace bel 
except a memory in your mind, of ever 
having existed?" 

“That possibility occurred to me, and I 
decided to do something that T thought 
would verify or disprove it. Specifically, 
to commit a murder, deliberately, to see 
what would happen 

“But— but Larr 


son 


ccident. 


case. my 


the 


lers happen 


every day, people are killed every day and. 

don’t vanish retroactively and leave no 
«e behind them." 

were not killed by me,” 

sly. "And if the universe 

is a product of my imagination, that 


should make а Фе 
bicycle is the first person / ever killed. 

Mearson sighed. "So vou decided to 
check by committing a murder. And shot 
Queenie Quinn. But why didn't she ——? 

"No. no, no," Kane interrupted. "I 
committed another first, a month or so 
ago. A A man — and there's no use 
my telling you his name or anythi 
about him, because, as of now, һе never 
existed, Like the girl on the bicycle. 

But of course I didn't know it would 
happen that way, so I didn't simply kill 
him openly, as I did the stripper. 1 took 
careful precautions, so if his body had 
been found. the police would never have 
apprehended me as the killer. 

“But after 1 killed him. well — he just 
never had existed, and 1 thought that my 
theory was confirmed. After that 1 car- 
ried a gun, thinking that | could kill 
with impunity any time 1 wanted to— 
ind that it wouldn't matter, wouldn't be 
immoral even. because anyone E killed 
didn't really exist anyway except in my 


псе. The girl on the 


nan. 


"Umm. 
“Ordinarily, Morty.” Kane said. “I'm 
а pretty even-tempered p ht before 
last was the first time 1 used the gun 
When that damned stripper hit 
hit hard, a roundhouse swing. It bl 
me for the moment and I just г 
tically in pulling out the gun and 

vg her." 


am," the 


attorney said. 
¢ Quinn turned out to be fc 
and you're in jail for murder and doesn't 
that blow your solipsism theory sky high?” 

Капе frowned. “It certainly modifies 
it. I've been thinking a lot since I was 
arrested. and here's what I've come up 
th. If Queenie was real — and obviously 
she was— then I was not, and probably 
am not. the only real person. There are 
real people and unreal ones, ones who 
exist only in the imagination of the real 
ones How many, I don't know. Maybe 
only a few, maybe thousands, even m 
lions. My sampling — three people, of 
whom one turned out to have been real 
— is too small to be si 

“But why? Why should there be a du- 
ality like tha” 

"Ub haven't the faintest 
frowned. “I've had some 
thoughts. but any one of them would be 
just à guess. Like a conspiracy — but a 
conspiracy against whom? Or what? And 
all of the real ones couldn't be in on the 
conspiracy, because I'm not.” 

He chuckled without humor. "I had a 
really far-out dream about it last ni 
one of those confused, mixed-up dr 
that you can't really tell anybody, be- 
cause they have no continuity, just a sc 
of impressions. Something about a соп. 
spicy and а reality file that lists the 
names of all the real people and keeps 
them real. And —here’s а dream pun for 
you— reality is really run by a chain, 
only they're not known to be a chain, of 
realty companies, one in each city. Of 
course, they deal in real estate, too, as а 
front. And — oh hell, it’s all too confused. 
even to try to tell. 

"Well, Morty, that's it. And my guess 
is that you'll tell me my only del 
a insanity plea—and you'll be right 
because, damn it, if I am sane, I am a 
murderer. First degree and without Cx- 
tenuating circumstances, So? 
So,” said Mearson. He doodled a mo- 
ment with a gold pencil and then looked 
up. “The headshrinker you went to for 


a while — his name wasn't Galbraith, was 
ig” 


idea.” Kane 
pretty wild 


mi 


v is 


Kane shook his head. 

"Good. Doc Galbraith is a friend of 
ne and the best forensic psychiatrist 
in the city, maybe in the country. Has 
worked with me on a dozen cases and 
we've won all of them, I'd like his opinion 
before I even start to map out a defense 
Will vou talk to him. be completely frank 
with him, if I send him around to see 


“OF course. Uh — will you ask him to 
do me a favor? 
“Probably. Wh: 
“Lend him your flask and ask him to 
bring it filled. You've no idea how much 
more pleasant it makes these inter 


ws. 


"The intercom on Mortimer Mearson’s 
desk buzzed and he pressed the button 
on it that would bring in his secretary's 
voice. "Dr. Galbraith to sce you, sir.” 
Mearson told her to send him in at once. 
Doc, arson said. “Take a load. 
off your feet and tell all. 
albraith took the load off his feet and 
lighted a cigarette before he spoke. "Puz- 
zling for a while," he said. "I didn't get 
the answer till I went into his medical his- 
tory with him. While playing polo at age 
he had a fall and got a whop on the 
1 with a mallet that caused a bad con 
cussion and subsequent amnesia. Com 
plete at first, but gradually his memory 
came back completely up to carly ado- 
lescence. Pretty spotty between then and. 
the time of the injury." 

“Good God, the indoctrination period.’ 
actly. Oh, he has flashes — like the 
dream he told you about. He could be 
rehabi I'm afraid it's too 
late, now. If only we'd caught him before 
he committed an overt murder—— But 
we can't possibly risk putting his story 
on record now, even as an in 
Tense. So." 

“So,” Mearson said. “I'll make the call 
now. And then go see him again. Hate 
to, but it's got to be done 

He pushed a button on the intercom. 
"Dorothy, get me Mr. Hodge at the Mid- 
land Realty Company. When you get hi 
put the call on my private line 
Ibraith left while he was waiting and 
a moment later one of his phones 
and he picked it up. 

"Hodge?" he said, "Mearson here. Your 
phone secure? . . . Good. Code 84. Re- 
move the card of Lorenz Kane— L-o-r-c-nz 
-n-e — from the reality file at once 
LLL Yes, it's necessary and an emergenc 
ГИ submit а report tomorrow." 

He took a pistol from a desk drawer 
and a taxi to the courthouse. He arr 
* idience with his client and as soon 
as Kane came through the door — there. 
was no use waiting — һе shot him dead. 
He waited the minute it always took for 
the body to vanish and then went np- 
staits to the chambers of Judge Amanda 
Hayes to make a final check. 

"Hi, Your Honoress,” he said. “$ 
body recently was tellin bour a man 
named Lorenz Kane, and I don't remem- 
ber who it was. Was it you! 

“Never heard the ni 


ated — but 


ity de- 


me- 


Morty. It 


wasn't me. 


You mean "It махат E? Must've becn 
someone else. Thanks, Your Judgeship. 
Be есй à 


179 


JAY WARD vidiots? delight 


тиосси ms хаме is not unknow 
cartoon series, 43-year-old Jay 
insiders as a madcap packager and promoter of totally im 
The producer of such apocryphal attractions as Phaedia G n, An 
Evening with Amos F. Mungo and The Sessue Hayakawa Dance Party, he may 
have trouble persuading the public that his latest vidiotic inspiration — Fractured 
Flickers — is anything but another figment of his whimsical imagination. Debuting 
this month, its a weckly festival of silenwmo s outrageously updated with 
ilog and reedited into an animated emulation of riavsov’s Teevee Jeebie: 
ach screen immortals as Theda Bara in Cleopatra, re-Vamped as "i 
starved Lithuanian chicken flicker.” With the assorted nuts who constitute hi 
(headed by partner Bill Scott), es-realtor W: 
miere with Gatsbyesque éclat: Vintage limousines will deliver luminaries to a 
Hollywood preview appurtenanced with т . After two 
seasons of skeptical head-scratching at this sort of showy drollery, broadcasting bi 

wigs have begun to get the message duit there's money as well as method i 

brand of ma e finally decided to let Jay be unconfined. This fall he'll be 
keeping the oddball rolling with an hour-long tour de farce for CBS; a film vers 

of Samuel Beckett's Act Without Words: and $100,000 worth of satiric cereal 
commercials for the Quaker Gompany—"which ain't bay,” says Jay, feeling his oats. 


the impresario of Bullwinkle, TV's kookiest 
roplong Ward has gained greate i 

ary enterta 
ors Haw 


uments, 


dness, 


VALERI BRUMEL russia’s man in space 


A GOOD MANY BASKETBALL валун lack bounce enough to touch the 10-foot- 
high rim of a t, but six-foot Valeri Brumel does it easily — with his 
foot. He did it, just for kicks, in Stanford. University’s gym scant hours before 
setting a seemingly untouchable world high-jump record of 775% in last year's 
U. S.-Sovi k meet. At this year's meet, held in Moscow's Lenin Stadium i 

July, he pushed the record up an extra three quarters of an inch, Not surpr 


ingly, he also holds the world indoor mark of 7 115". None of the U. $^ nimble 
21-year-old Soviet hero: he has over- 


cks can hold а candlestick to th 
six times гип 


jumping ji 
flown former record holder Joh 


A married third-y 


ar 


student at Moscow's Physical Culture Institute, Brumel is perhaps the best of 
the mass-produced sports models to come oll Russia's post War athletic assembly 
linc. Born ibe town untouched by war and hunger, he received 


when most Ameri- 
leaphroz). Dralted iuto un physed 

mming lef-foot takc-oll. a soaring side- 
ways objected 
oviet Union"). 
own record 
атоо сап outdo 
crosses the bar. 


his first hig 
can kids are still playin, 
programs, he rapidly developed his 
nd a Palookalike pride in the party line (“I have 
to the U.S, system of professional sports . . . it doesn't exist in the $ 
Still improving by leaps and bounds, Bramel to top 
before retiring to a coaching job. Aud. as long as only the Kian: 
him, there will be no sad songs among the Soviets when Vale 


straddle style, 


FRANCO CORELLI opera’s prima don 


WHEN, AT THE METROPOLITAN OPERA HOUSE U 
Corelli struts and frets his hour upon the stige in Aida. H Trovatore and 1 Pu- 
gliacei, he will have reached the apes of a carcer that has carried him from the 
marshes of the Adriatic coast into the hearts of millions of Italian bobby-soxers 
who now chase him down the streets whenever he appears in public. Today, 
поп the purveyors of yeste "s fish in the gallerias iu front of La Scala, 
the devotees speak of his voice with the reverence they once reserved Гог 
Caruso’s. "Last night I saw him fling into the pit one ball а casaba.” they зау. 
“But who cares, when the man has the voice of a god?" Godlike or not, Corelli's 
voice is largely self-developed. He was bom in the seacoast town of Ancona. 
there learned. most of what he knows about singing by listening to the records 
of others, soon developed а solid dramatic tenor, darker in timbre than most and 
equipped with a baritone’s power. Following his debut in Spoleto in 1952, he 


fall, the terrible-tempered Franco 


opened at La Scala in Spontinis La Pestle and m the Met 10 years later 
Corelli, big and brawny (6 fect, 200 pounds) for a tenor, is built — and behaves 
— like a bull basso. Once he skewered his own bass, Boris Christoll, through the 
kidneys with a prop sword when Christof tried to upstage him. and Lucr he 


slugyed а spectator he thoug sulted him, ОЙ the boards, he cousumes 
lange amounts of polpo (the stulled vitals of octopuses) prepared by his wile, rips 
about Rome in one of his four sports cars, and enjoys listening to the sound 
of his own voice. “E molto grande!” he has often modestly observed of the lat 


PLAYBOY 


182 


FASHION FORECAST 


variety of cardigans (still 
the lead ter style) in camel's hair. 
Suede elbow patches and pocket trim 
will appear prominently on. many coat- 
style sweaters, 

We have observed with pl 
increasing acceptability of k 
wear in places and ti 


will be 


ure the 
ted outer- 
es formerly 


reserved for more formal apparel. Ас 


cordi ions as suburban 
patio parties or impromptu city dates, 


though your al, you'll be in- 
terested in опе of the more sumptuous 
styles. Cashmere, always in good taste, 
fits this category perfectly, along with the 
handsome V-neck alpacas and intricate in- 
rsias (an ornamental style adapted from 
medieval-Ittlian woodwork patterns). 


If your assortment of dress shirts is 
dominated by buttondown and tab col- 
lars, in that order, in the 


right 
fall and winter. What you 
isa collection of the newly revived stripes 
— especially red — which will be seen in 
a wide variety of de: from bold, 
heavily dyed patterns to thin, subtle hair- 
lines. Blue stripes w ue to be 
staple, and blickonavhite and black in 
combination with red promise to be pop- 
ular. Because of the revival of red this 
year, pink. may move, once 
male dressin 

The sport shirt is making a singular 
double-entry as it merges tastefully and 


“We mak 


(continued from page 116) 


functionally with the dress shit. The 
casual number will resemble its more 
formal counterpart im every detail but 
(it has none), as it utilizes the 
same oxford, chambray, madras and twill 
act sleeve lengths, and 
pered back. (A note on tap- 
Too frequently, men try to achieve 


collar siz 


ze too small. While this may 
provide the desired waist measurement, 


lso pulls the shoulder seams out of 
s accomplished. 


oper tapering 
у in the waist only. Depend 
upon your size, a suppression of five to 
six inches should turn the t 
down collars, which are avai 
ditional styles; as "highboys" (with the 
neckband raised to two inches); and i 
the short spread, are still the preferred 
sport-shirt style: leave the tabs for your 
teenage nephew. И a vacuum will be 
left in casual wear by the ascension of 
the sport shirt to morc formal spheres of 
influence, it will readily be filled by the 
wide variety of cotton knits available. 
Appearing in every color of the spec 
these sportive garments, in turle- 
neck and button-front models, will һе 
wom under most types of light oute 
wear. The collars on both cardigans a 
pullovers this year tend toward gre 
length a 1. 

The preponderance of striped shirts 
this season leaves two basic choices in 
neckwear. For the fashion-wise, the alte 


"s 


nd less spre: 


xj 


"M a point not to stand on 


ceremony around. here." 


native will be the bold stripe-on-stripe 
approach, with rep and twill stripes pre- 
dominant: more conservative dressers will 
look for simpler designs with a lot of 
ground color showing. Of the latter type 
we lean toward paisleys and madde: 
with the caution that the basic color be 

1 harmony with the jacket, Knit ties, of 
course, in black, deep maroon and bur- 
gundy, will also work well with striped 
shirts. Tie widths this year vary between 
214 and 234 inches. 

Belts, on the other hand, will be 11⁄4- 

(ches wide. Plain 
leathers with simple buckles will be the 
standard both for busine: id most cis- 
г. The fashionable exception is 
glove-tanned harness leather, perfect for 
the most formal occasions; if you like 
large touches of color iu your leisure 
duds, look for reds in solid, madras, 
plaid and striped fabrics. 

For this year's urban scene, hand- 
somely on hand are gloves in capeskin 
and prominently stitched Italian soft 
leather. The casual and county bit is 
best dled with deerskin — because 
many of these gloves feature removable 
wool liners, they're remarkably versa 
If you detect your playmate puzzling 
over a yearend gift for you, suggest the 
practical driving gloves that feature grip- 
per ribs to hold the wheel — or beuer 
still, the popular stretch models: she 
won't even have to remember your size. 

ill be 


and 


exoti 


it caps. Bridging the gap between for- 
1 and casual headgear will be the pop- 
ular pinch-front and telescope models, 
while fashion pace-setters will be don- 
ning lids of silk and suede. The func 
mental business hat is still felt and it 
will be scen in a large variety of colors, 
ranging from clear grays and browns to 
blues and soft greens (dark olive is in 
retirement for the season). The wend 
toward brimless hats is now 
borders, which will be та 
moving out again. 

This year’s footnote to the basic fash- 


ion text will be a study in brown: 
whereas black. shoes only recently made 
up 75 percent of the male shoe rack, 


this season it is expected to be an 
equitable 50-50. The standard repertoire 
of regulation. boot styles, loafers. laced 
plain-tocs and modified wing tips will 
still be around, but trend-setters will be 
stepping out in stylish loafers. 
Socks continue to appear in dark solid 
colors, both in ribbed numbers of Orlon 
nylon and in crews (with striped tops 
showing up on the latter). 

Thus, adition enhanced by variety 
promises to be the outlook for men's 
fashions this fall and winter. The choices, 

ı brief, are understated, but eloquent, 
for guys w 


asscl 


CALFAYAN COLLECTION 
151) 


shook his head sternly, irritated. Then 


(continued from pa 


a tace of a smile flexed the corners 
of his mouth. He forced it stern again 
for iustaut, but at last. full free 


laughter shattered his naturally sullen 
ay face, The girl jumped in triumph. 
hed her bare arms out to grasp hi 


re 
head. pulled it down and put a kiss on 


his fleshy nose. Then she ran out the 
open door past Calfayan, nearly wipped 
across his but darted from it 
turned her dark eyes at him for an in 
stint and skipped to disappear in the 
vast department. store. The other two 
rls, sedate, now followed, good-humor- 


cally shaking their heads. 

Calfavan looked down Ril 
nodded and walked on, leaving Rifat 

The Am g ar the 
Plaza Athéné 
curator. of the 
short visit to Paris. 
4 with an ape 


n was lunch 
with Sir George Rainer. 
British Museum, on a 
As he arrived, Rainer 
uf 


l with the 


had. in thc 
remarkable 


Calfayan 
acquired a 


past 15 years, 
collection. of 


paintings and other art objects that had 
disappeared imo a Neuilly building 
used for the sole purpose of housing 


building was watchdogged, 
full of burglar alarms and surrounded 
wall Rembrandt, Rubens. 
Fragonard hung in rich 
wide corridors 
awaiting nothing 
but Calfayan's private pleasure. The 
only works ever to reappear were those 
lessthananagnificent ones which, as Cal 
fayaw's taste developed, were discarded 
and replaced. Not even Rainer himself 
had ever been invited to view the collec 
tion, The ma vanished 
from the world except insofar as they 
remained in the minds of a few men 
who dreamed of convincing Callayan 
that he should them by placing 
them on public exhibition from time to 
time. Callayan, not a public man, had 
always stubbornly refused to do so. 
Rainer sensed that he himself was onc 
of the few men who this orphaned 
survivor of the Turkish 
spected, even admired. and was deeply 
flattered, for the select company was a 
notable one; in spite of Calfayan's idio 
syncrasies and certain downright meam- 


them, The 


by a high 
Frans Hals 
lively silence along the 


rooni 


and spacious 


had 


terpieces 


share 


massacres rc 


nesses, he 
Rainer also felt, quite inexplicably, that 
Calfayan was in some way a decent man. 
Yet 
ing what was to him no less than a fright. 
ful crime: the gratuitous withholding of 
beauty from the world, ‘The implication 
that followed from that seemed fully as 
frightful: that his friend Calfayan be- 
lieved he could possess such beauty mere- 
ly because he had purch with 
money; that such beauty could belong to 


drew such people to him 


ainer could find по means of excus 


sed it 


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slacks. Leesures аге Leesures, The look 
that has become the signature of the 
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that look. It's the modern Celanese poly- 
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PLAYBOY 


184 


w m; 
over it 
soleum where 


. The picture of Calfayan gloat- 
Ш by himself in that Neuilly 
o breathing person 
onc. 

Now, as Calfayan walked briskly, 
smiling, toward the table, Rainer looked 


апа 
lived, was à monstrou 


up with pleasure. 

The conversation during lunch was 
almost completely about art, and Rainer, 
stimulated, marveled again at the qual- 
ity of Calfa "s sensitive, unsentimental 
таме. 

It was not until coffee that. Rainer 
ked when the British Museum would 
it part of the Cal 
on loan. 
an shook his large head, smiling 
coldly, vet pleasantly: “My paintings 
need privacy. They cannot. stand to be 
sped at. 

Rainer properly showed contempt for 
alay answer, knowing that 
Mayan would never harbor a grudge 
for the show of contempt. They parted 
warmly and at profound odds. 


n's absurd 


Shortly before five that afternoon, 
Rifat slipped a note and а 10,000-fanc 
bill into an envelope, sealed it and took 
it with him to the department store. 
where he waited at the employees! exit 
for the dark-eved sileszirl to come out 
It began to drizzle. Rifat, the familiar 
dull pain having begun along his back 
that morning, had known it would. He 
now took a dificult deep breath, winced 
amd unfurled his umbrella. He read- 
justed his black Homburg and drew his 
alert little eyes from the exit for but an 

stant to glance down and check his 
perfectly 

The thre 
and be 


ame out together 
ıı to hurry through the wet, not 


dressed for it. He trotted along beside 
them. “Are you heading for the bus stop?” 
“None of your busi 


is i 


Dess. опе of 


remarks. only 
ase 
his umbrella over them 
“Talks and acts as funny 
huh, Gabrielle?” the second 
icing mer 
alfayan’s interest. Gabrielle did not re 
spond, but turned her eyes directly upon 
answered him in a he 
ridional accent: 
along that w 


vaguely, and said, 


How me,” reach igh to hold 
it he could. 


s he looks, 


s bx 


Yes si 


we ar 


Rifat said, "and since I have an um- 
biel . . ." Gabrielle was now alone 
under the umbrella. Spots of water 


spread large on Ri 
drizzle became a r 
iggled. 


"s gray suit as the 
in. The other two 
Gabrielle, who's your wet 


"Whats the mater with you two: 
wielle said im a surprisingly sharp 
She glared at her companions 


voice. 


“What's the matter with you?" she re- 
peated. 

They reached the bus stop. There was 
а long line of people waiting. “I'm sorry, 
but | must go now,” Rilat said. He 
handed Gabrielle the envelope. “Her 
I hope you don't get 100 wet. 

He disappeared around the 
he could without ru 
t night he sat in 
eldom-used armch 
der a yellowish light, reluct 
into his bed, fingering hi 
wd him 
creased, worn, mucl-reread letter of tei 
dernes. 


corner as 


th 
room, in his 


manner to- 


ow 


Shortly before one o'clock the follow 
ing afternoon a telephone rang in one 
of several private houses which Bedros 
Calfayan maintained in Paris. A chunky 
woman in her mid40s stopped workir 
at a massive desk and answered. 

"Hello." she said. 

“Hello. My name is Gabrielle Momot. 


"A position, ves." 
The note says to talk to Mlle. Dus- 
ıe. 15 that youz" 

is Mile. Dussane.” 
"You may 


the wom 
come here for 
the interview if you like, or | could 
meet you clsewher 
I'm working 
fter. five o'clock 
You may come here then il you like," 
the woman said, still smiling. 
All r 
The woman gave Gabrielle Monnot 
the address, put down the telephone, 
stopped her pleasant smile and returned 
immediately to the work at her desk. 
Tina Dussane, a Belgian, had been 
Calfayan's employ for the past 11 year 
ever since Calfayan, on a visit to his 
daughter's school in Lausanne, had asked 
the girl who she liked best on the school 
af. Calfayan engaged his daughter's 
favorite teacher on the spot, at a sub 
stantial increase in salary, and took her 
where she proved to be 
at service in a number of capaci- 


d. smilir 


nd ] can't leave till 


back to Pa 
of g 


Farly that evening Gabrielle Monnot, 
wearing a green dress that buttoned 10 
the neck. not at all suitable for her black 
hair and ivory complexion, was led into 
Mlle. Dussane's sitting room. 

Thc 
Mlle. Dussane observed Gabrielle Mor 
nots manner of receiving the t 
ng it. She noticed that the 
s quick to do as she herself did. 
the effect was not at all one of 
vish imitation. Sometimes the women 
put in Mlle. Dussane's charge were quite 

ot need inten: 


stupid, This onc would 


sive instruction. Di 
sensitive, perh 
ny of the others, 


ps more se e 


tio 


lle, why аге you interested in 
making so much money?” 
“It would be nice 
Mile. Dussane smiled. 

“Why are you smiling that way?” 
7I might have expected you to say t 
was a foolish question, that eve 


onc 
terested in making а lot of money. 
Ol 
"Em sure vou r 
make a lot of mor 
No. 
“You're from the south, ` 
"Yes. From near Pau. Ive been here 
almost six month 
“Why did vou leave, may T ask? 
Gabrielle beamed. "Oh, that's simple. 
Because | always wanted to come to 
Paris. Is the most wonderful place 
in the world. 1 want to live here 
Il my life. It was hard to leave home. 
Bur | did. My poor father, he’s a post 
he didn't Tike it. You can im 
It was sad. But I had to see. 
ell me, Gabrielle, would you like to 
live in this house: 


зайле that one does not 


man 


The looked about. “Oh, yes Is the 
job her 

“IL can be yours to live in if you like. 
There are servants, This wi is my 
partment, with a separate entrance at 
the side. You would live in the main 


part of the house.” 
“T don't understand.” 
“ГИ explain. simply 
My employer is an 
man. He saw 


id to the point. 
xtremely wealthy 
the other day and 
mired you. He would like you to stay 
here and allow him to take you out 
from time to time, as he chooses. He is 
n attractive mı 
he is a kind mı ı no way cruel or 
unplcasint He will certainly some- 
times choose to stay here with vou. 
“Oh” 
“Do you understand now 
"Yes" the girl whispered. 
“You look astonished, 
“When I € n, T thought ii w 
job as a servant. 1 couldn't figure 
why 1 was picked out on the street 
1 given the 10,000. f 
often do funny things. 
thought 
“There is nothing in thi 
stonish you. It is a common 
rence. Don't you realize that you 
beautiful young woman who should 
go to waste among those who don't 
now how to appreciate you? With the 


you 


ad 1 can 


wule 


be 
о 


сз. but. people 
But | never 


that should 


occur- 


and the right hair style, you 


wtiful you arc. І can JUSTERINI 


right clothes 
will scc how bea 
promise that” 

“They found me pretty at home." She 
laughed 

Fm sure.” 

Although the girl seemed to want out 
of Paris just the sort ol thing that a man 
like Callayan offered, Mlle. Dussane 
was surprised at her blithe eagerness to 
come to an agreement. What the offer 
involved had surely been made clear to 
her. and yet Mlle, Dussane sensed an 
rl; therefore, it 
wis somehow as if the girl did not fully 
realize what she was acceptins 

What a prize she could be! Mile. 
Dussanc thought. H she was indeed what 
she seemed precious mixture of 
coarseness and fineness, heavy vul 
and sensitivity- 

The girl did not ask any details about 
money. Oddly, she insisted on returning 
alone to her small room for her belong- 
ings: and she insisted on kee the 
reed to return that night 
in the 


innate fineness in the 


қату 


тоот, but à 
by subway and begin living 
house. 

Mlle. Dussane paced her sitting room 
excitedly, telli 
outdo herself with such. material, imag- 
ining how pleased the Armenian was 
going to be. After a few minutes she 
composed herself, telephoned Calfayan 
to compliment him coolly upon his luck 
db taste and to inform him that he 
might call on Gabrielle in less than. 
three weeks! time. She could tell by the 
sound of his hello that his wife was 
present. "Gabrielle is an intelligent and 
naturally graceful woman. ] will have 
dithculties, but they can be handled." 

“I leave it to you.” Calfayan said, and 
he hung up without speaking further. 

He doesn't appreciate me, Mlle. Dus- 
sane thought, changing into а negligee 
and robe. Then she sat down at her 
desk and made some notes: Dresses — 
blues, beige. Panties — regular assort- 
ment plus [loyal prin? Taffeta half-slip. 
Mile. Dussane had an ivorysatin gown 
in mind for this girl that would need a 
talleta halbslip. Red girdle with gun- 
metal nylons? In the case of the last girl, 


herself. that she would 


ъ ЫЕ 
ronan coment tP 


cr, Mlle. Dussane һай felt Cal- 
fayan was much moved by that combin: 


the si 


tion. She might try it 
bed. carly, wonderi 
priate hair style, 1w 


gain. She went to h t 
S The others are not [&! 
I show him what I 
am made of, she thought. As she lay in 
the darkness, her mind created magnili- 
cent Combinations: gowns, stoles, hand- 
ags. perfumes, gloves, jewelry, suits. 
Rapidly she set off that perfect com- 
plexion in various ways, and that body 
well, the fine and the breasts, 
ted until now beneath an ugly but 
een dress. 


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185 


PLAYBOY 


startling rise from ordinary waiter in 
alayear had aroused the 
potent jealousy of the older captai 
waited calmly at his station one evening 
three weeks later. Charles was calm by 
nature, but altogether alert. Monsicur 
Calfayan was expected shortly, presum- 
ably lor altertheater souper, with a 
guest, and Charles had his table. Al- 
though the maitre d'hótel was sure to 
handle everything personally, Charles 
deeply appreciated the opportunity to 
further his education through any close 
contact with such an important man as 
Calfayan. The last time Calfayan had 
: m's, Charles not only had 
observed the multimillionaire without 
in any way neglecting his own duties 
but had also often deftly managed to 
stand where he could overhear bits of 
conversation at Calfayan's table. 

You would never presume to joke with 
Calfayan, bait him hall-subuly, or patron- 
ize him in any way. Charles knew that 
his response to such standard headwaiter 
gambits would be immediate and utterly 
Cold. Some wealthy men (not only mid- 
dle-aged women, in whom the phenome- 
non was most common) responded very 
well to such gi tentive means of 
humiliation. Tt was remarkable to 
Charles, though evident, that they not 


only 1 


only welcomed such debasing treatment 


and some 


by headwaiters nes by cap- 
ins, but positively desired it. Charles 


as objective enough about himself not 


to presume to fathom definitively the 
whys of such behavior, but he gave him- 
self due credit for his pow 
vation. 

He respected Calfayan. Cal 
his better, unlike so many of the ое 
because of whom he had already come 
far. They were always delighted to see 
him as they entered. М m's. It made 
him sometimes wonder what sort of poor 
life they must have. Calfayan would 
never register pleasure or displeasure at 
the sight of Charles. so long as he was 
served efficiently. Calfayan had flat, 
black, intelligent eyes, and when he 
smiled, with delicate reserve, they did 
nge. His face reacted with ex 
treme economy, Calfayan was consistent 
at the core, most surely, but Charles, 
having watched him converse, saw that 
Calfayan was not bland. Callayan was 
composed. He did not laugh, nor was he 
in any way loud, 

At last a young woman wearing a 
cream off-the-shoulder gown entered, fol- 
lowed by Calfayan, his barrel bulk in 
evening dress, his clipped gray hair com- 

ng only to the height of her chin. 
irons glanced up from their troughs. 
re d'hôtel escorted them 
t Charles to the table; the 
ing mechanism, Maxim's, had 
begun to function for Calfayan. Charl 
nodded eeting, but not in order to 
be observed for a Hicker, The 
maine d'hótel swept their table back. 


nore tl 


They sat. The maitre d'hótel hovered. 
The solemn, independent little wine 
steward presented himself. Calfayan о 
dered. Champagne, beluga, lobster and, 
fox dessert, a soufflé 

The woman began to talk. Charles 
kept looking at her, looking away, look- 
ing back at her. It w the smile. The 
smile was infectious. The last woman, 
older, who Calfayan had brought had 
also talked a great deal. Charles re- 
membered that Calfayan had been very 


quiet, almost motionless but for an oc- 
nod. 


He remembered. 
ot obsequiously, 
ce, after- 


casional poli 
that he had laug 


ward, with the maître d'hótel. 

Callayan was talking to һе h of 
them spoke about the same amount of 
time. Calfayan opened his mouth inordi- 
nately wide once, eying her, to put beluga 
into it, not unattractively. He smiled often 
and his eyes changed when he smiled, 
once in astonished glee. What we 
saving? What on earth was she saying 
to him? Charles caught the maitre d'hôtel 
suning once at them. He met Charles 
eyes and. turned. aw 

It was not until they were finishing 
the lobster that Charles m: ed to 
position himself and hear a She now 
put her hands palm ир wd said. 
"We just 


re they 


d 
ot on our bicycles and rode 


1 said, suc 


never ridden a bicycle in my 
id. 


life, ivan s 
"Is that true? 


"Yes, of course it 

Then Charles was forced to move 
away. A patron wanted his attention 
Charles made some d drifted 


it back to С 
nt he did not at 


oll. His eyes w 
table. And for a 
1 recognize C. 
The face. 

A night sky sat now upon Call 
face. Stars and planets—a deep per 
verse astronomy of abandoned linger 
mirrors, cries, revealed and ravaged 
flesh; female eyes, terrified, lost, drugged, 
were reflected here in these black eves. 


Charles saw a whole constellation, a 
tableau of elaborate. private charade in- 
corporati aost extreme. dark, im- 


personal dreams of any man. dreams long 
since forgone by mere Charles himself. 
harles took a deep breath. The girl, 
d, put her fingers to her mouth. 
gir" the man murmured. 
his lips red and wet. "You 
you had forgotten something.” 
you had a funny look," she 
id. "It surprised me. 
The man did not answer. His face 
n settling back into old Calfayan 
Charles returned to his duties. He 
anced at the couple from time to 
time. 


ou 


beg: 


Now Calfayan lifted his hand and put 
it down upon hers; his short fingers lay 
in along her knuckles. “Yes, We shall 
go home soon, ch?" he said. "Have you 
found everything to your liking at the 
house?” 

She nodded. She smiled wanly, 
about to take a mouthful of the soufll 
but put her fork down slowly and smiled 
with strain into his cyes, holding her 
fixed. 

Suddenly she turned away from him. 
Her head bobbed downward, A mass of 
black hair faced Calfayan like that of 
1 twisted partway 
rich white shoul- 


she retching into her napkin 
above the cream lap of her gown. 

tharles rushed to the table, unhe: 
tatingly, ready, He tried to help her, 
He saw her large dark frightened eyes. 
se, nodded silently at 
‚ who withdrew, He helped her 
and ushered her, Charles leading 
the way, to the toilette. As she move 
she glanced at Calfayan. His look, gentl 
seemed to reassure her. He nodded as 
ippeared. 
Гауди gazed long at the shut door, 
his shoulders uncharacie ally, al 
most imperceptibly, slumped f 
Charles looked . "Poor beautiful 
ig," Calla Then loud- 


awa 


in mi 


fayan was talking to himself, but upon 
wurning back to the wu 
m was actually addressi 


id 


When he returned, they were stand- 
together in the corridot 


the girl whispered. 
Charles, holding the stole, waiting to 

be acknowledged, noted an unmistakable 

n's lace. 

lust not be sor 

«Шу to your old 

he said, and patted 


room. There, there, 


her shoulder with his litle finger 
Then the black eyes went flat at last 
and Galfayan said, "Have the car 


brought around.” 


akened at 
The tele- 
phone at his bedside was ringing. What 
the devil, he thought, and turned over 
tog 


а 


а сай from Paris for 


Calfayan. I have been 


proposal. I will con- 


You will have my decision 


t lunch the other 


yes" 

“Well — goodbye." 

“Oh, Right. Right. Goodbye.” 

As F put up the telephone he 
realized for the first time that he had. 
nev for oue moment seriously 
pected Calfayan to offer his collection 

ow that Calfayan had амак 
ner out of a sound sleep to 
was considering such 
а step. was surprised to feel 
quite certain that nothing would ulti- 
mately come of it, 

What state of being could have 
brought on such an urgent passing 
fancy? It was as if the fellow madly 
fe ‚ out of a clear blu t his 
wall was about to be brea watch. 
dogs shot, his burglar alarms smashed, 
his people bound and gagged; that his 
collection w bout to be carried off by 
bold thieves; and that therefore it would 
be safe cross the Channel for a time 
in the British Muscum. Rainer chuckled 
to himself at his own bizarre id 

Tt was not at all Jike Calfayan to call 
а the middle of the night. 


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PARIS 


PLAYBOY 


i88 


how to talk dirty 


Idict. She would rub it on 
and stick it in anything and everything. 
To Mena, curbolated Vaseline was Jew- 
ish penicillin. 


a Vaseline 


Perhaps at this point I ought to say 
a little something about my vocabul. 
My conversation, spoken and written. is 
usually Aavored with the on of the 
hipster. the argot of the underworld, 
and Yiddish 


In the literate sense —as literate as 
Yiddish саз be, since it is not a formal 
Tang, woyish" means “gentile.” 


But th (0t the way I mem to use it 
To me, if you live in New York or 
пу other big city, you are Jewish. It 
doesn't matte : 
if you live in New York you'r 
If you live in Вице, Мо 
goyish even if you're Jewish 

Evaporated milk is goyish even if 
the Jews invented it, Chocolate is Jewish 

xd fudge is goyish. ul 
rye bread is Jewish. 

Negroes are all Jews. Itali 


even if you're Cathol 


Jewish, 
, youre 


Spam is goyish 


as are all 


(continued from page 108) 


Jews. Irishme 
ion 
ish. 


who have rejected their 
Mouths are very 
Baton-twirling. is 
Eddie Cantor. Geor 
‘hristian 
ise if vou look very closely on the: 
s you'll find a boil somewhe 
ap am ош Jewish 
theyre «тапу and they will 
scire one and you will find 
chief balled-up in one of her hands. 
Lem understand why they can't have 
a Jewish President. It would be embar 
rassing to hear the President's. mother 
screaming love at the grandchildrer 
“Who's Grandma's baby! Who's Grand- 
ma's baby!” 
... and this is Chet Huntley in New 
York. The First Lady's mother opened 
the Macys Day Parade "Oy 
zeishint mine lieber and fariously pinch- 
cheeks 
Actually, she bit his 
yum yum, is this a tush, whose 
th The Jews are notorious 
dyen'sasskissers. Gentiles neither 


ате 


ny Thomas аге 


handker- 


bite 


“Hello, you must be the new traine: 


their childr 
their soup. 

Gentiles love their children as much 
as Jews love theirs: they just don't wear 
their hearts on their sleeves. On the other 
hand, Jewish mothers don't hang gold 
ıs in their windows. They're mot 
proud of their boys’ going into the 
service. They're always worried about 
their being Killed. 

Celebrate is а goyish word. Observe 
is a Jewish word. Mr. and Mrs. Walsh 
re celebrating Christmas. with Major 
Thomas Moreland. USAF Ret, while 
M ıd Mis. Bromberg observed Ha 


s asses, nor do they Лайл 


nukkah with Goldie and Arthur Schind- 
ler from Kiamesha, New York. 
The difference between Jewish and 


yish girls is that a gentile 1 
touch it once,” whereas a Jewish girl 
will kiss vou and let you touch it— your 
own, that i 
The only Jewish thing about ball 
is Vaseline. 


1 wot 


One eventul day, 1 discovered. self- 
gvatification, An older kid conducted a 
school, and five of us graduated about 
the same time. 

А few days Luter, E was all set for an 
afternoon of whacking it, 1 was propped 
up in bed, taking care of business. 1 wa 
so involved, I didn't hear the door open 
Leonard, what are you doi 
futher! My heart stopped. 1 бол 
said what are you doing? 

7 a mumi 
istic. P1 


ic moment 
Ч to restrain 


outside for justa minute?” He si 


at me, "105 not only disgusting 
you're doing — but, ioddamnit, i 
bed! 


He sat down and proceeded to tell 


me a story, that story we have all heard. 
with embellishments. [ts grim conclusion 
left three of our relatives in state insane 


souls who lad never 
been instructed in the wisdom of slecp- 
ig with their hands above the covers. 
‘The story line implied that this sort of 
thing was hime pi 
associated werewolves 


asylums — poor 


with 
Their punishment was tl 


ids withered 
they couldn't do it 
it a little 

I had all sorts of horrendous visions 
of my hure: my spine would collapse: 
my toes would fall off h I 
to do it ашай, T felt Т 
had done some irreparable d. 

Oh, what a cursed thing! E could see 
self on a street corner some day, 
ing a testimony for the CB.W.A. — 
Crooked Back Whackers Anonymous: 

“Yea, brothers. T was of mortal Mesh. 
me, my father walked 
n that day while E was having my strug 
gle with Satan, Suppose he had not been 
an observant person, and merely thought 


into wings, and 
nore, just fan 


away 


Even thou 


resolved. neve 


Forumatsly [oi 


T was doing a charade — committing 
hara ple time — wh 
no. brothers, he knew he had a pervert 
living under his roof: the most danger 
ous of them all—a whacker! I would 
have to stop. No tapering ofl. 1 would 
have to stop mow! In the kinguage of 
the addicts world. 1 would have to kick 

the habit —cold jerky..." 
1 credit the motion-picture industry 
actor in 


as the strongest envi 
molding the children of my day. 

Andy Hardy: whistlit rown pom- 
padour: a green lawn: a father wl 
severest punishment was taking your € 
away for the weekend. 

Warner Baxter was a doctor. АП 
ests looked. Jike Pat OBrien. 
The superintendeat of mv school 
looked like Spencer Tracy. and the 
principal looked like Vincent Price. E 
was surprised vens Imer to discover 
they were Spencer “Tracy 
Price. | went to Hollywood Hiz 

Actually, 1 went to North B: 
school for eight years. up until 
filth grade. 1 remen 
of milk at 10:15 and napping on the 
desk — E hated the smell of that. desk — 
1 
And how enigmatic those well-preserved 
сагуйщ» were to ME: BOOK YOU 


p 


yr the routine 


s used to dribble ou the initials. 


My friend Carmelo, the barber's son. 
and T would "buy" our lunch at the 
little green store. That's what we called 
the student lockers from which we stole 
many a hot cold lunch. "Let's see what 
we've got at the little green store today.” 

We would usually ge around 
10:30 on the cighith when 
everybody was in hom . Carmelo 
would bust open a locker. А white pa- 
per bag! Who used white paper bags? 
People who could ailord to buy baked 
goods and make their children exotic 


sandwicl Tuna on date-nut bread, 
four cr lled Hydrox cookies. a 
h; a which was unreal— the color 


wasn't solid brow 
with green, : wt rotten 
— and the last goody pped 
in wax paper. 

Sometimes we would go over to Car- 
melo's house to cat d father 
had a barbershop with one chair and 
a poster in the window showing four 
different styles of haircuts. and guar- 
antecing you sure-fire results in secur 
employment if you would follow the 
tips on groomin he First Things 
in Employer Looks at Are Hair, Nails 
and Shoes. energy department 
head who looks at these qualifications 
in a job applicant would probably be 
a faggot. 

Carmelo's mother was the 
and town whore. Those symbols of 
childhood are gone— what a shame! — 
the country doctor, the town whore, the 


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189 


PLAYBO!Y 


village idiot, and the drunken family 
from the other side of the tracks, have 
been replaced by the Communist, the 
junkie, the faggot, and the beatnik 

Prostitution wasn’t respected and 
cepted. but I figured that if she was the 
town whore, then all the people in the 
town had had her and had paid her 
and they were all а part of what. she 
was D staunchly defended Carmelo's 
mother. 


My mother worked as а waitress and 
doubled as a maid in fashionable Long 
Beach, Long Island. My father м 
working during the day and going to 
college at night. His motive was to bet 
ter himself and, in turn, better us all. 
If he had graduated, I might not be 
where 1 am now. I'm the he 
fi y. thanks to my dad's for 
ig handy knowledge at 


“You're going to have that set of 
encyclopedias for your birthday,” he had 
pledged. “You're going to have every- 
thing I never had as à child, even il 1 
have to do without cigarettes.” And then, 
to demonstrate his self-sacrifice, he would 


roll his own in those rubber roller 
things that Liberty Bugler used to sell. 


Today | give my daughter what I 
really didn't have as a kid. All the sill 
vagant. frill 


nonfunctional 
She probably 
Thats how it 
ncration saves to buy rul» 
bers for the kids on а rainy day, and 
when it comes they sit out under a tree 
ating soaking wet and digging the 


dumb, extr 


encyclopedi 


My father instilled in me a few 
portant behavior patterns, one of which 
was a fantastic dread of being in debt 
ned to me such details as how 
¢ owed on the rent, what the 
coal and light bills were, how much 
money we had and how long it would 
st. 

He would constantly remind me that 
iving on the brink of poverty. 
He would go miles out of his way to 
look for bargains. He would wear clothes 
that friends gave him. 1 became so guilty 
about asking for anything that I con 
cluded it was much more ethical to st 

When 1 was in seventh. grade 
for physical education, each boy 1 
buy sneakers which cost about $1. 
couldn't bring myself to ask my fa 
for the money. The previous night he 
had confided to me that he didit know 
where he was going to get the money 
for the rent, I decided to steal the money 
for my sneakers from the Red Cross. 

Fhe class kept all the money they had 
collected for the annual Red 
in a big mayoun: 
1 volunteered to sta 
d 


we were 


oss drive 
the supply 
alter school 
ad slap out 


190 the erasers. I knew that the teacher, 


Miss Bostaug, was always picked up at 
3:30 sharp by her boyfriend. 

She was the kind of woman who was 
old when she was She wore those 
“sensible” corrective shoes with lisle 
stockings; and crinkly dresses, the kind 
that you can see through and don't 
want to. The only color she ever wore 
different. handkerchief that she 


was a 
pinned on her blouse every day. Her 
short sleeves revealed a vaccination mark 
as big as a basketball. 

As soon as Bosta left that 
afternoon, | picked up the radiator 


wrench and jimmied open the closet 
door. 1 really botched up the door, but 
I made the heist. My heart was beating 
six-cighths time I split with the 
mayonnaise ji 

I hid under the porch and counted 
the loot. Over 513 in change. 

I spent some of the money on the 
sneakers and а carton of Twenty Grand 
cigarettes for my father. 1 figured 1 
would take what was left and return it 
Maybe no one would miss what 1 had 
spent. Maybe no one would notice that 
the door had been tom off its hit 

But as I 
hear the storm of protest, so 1 cha 
my mind and joined in the denunc 
tion of the culprit. “Boy, how could 
anyone be so low? Stealing from the 
Red Cross! Don't worry. God will puni 
him." 1 felt pretty self-righteous con- 
demning myself, and quite secure that 
по one suspected me. 

But I had underestimated № 
шик. 

Boys and girls," she announced, "this 
morning I called my brother, Edward 
Bos hington. He works for 
the Fede 1 of Investigation. Не 
told me il the al doesn’t 
he is going to come up 
here on Monday with a lie detector. 
And then, in minute detail, she de- 
scribed the techn perfection of the 
in spotting the slightest ir- 
blood pressure, pulse 
temperature, As she spoke, my he: 
was pounding and I was sweating. 

After everyone left, 1 marched boldly 
up to her desk. She was creaming her 
face with Noxzema. "Miss Возот, 
know who stole the money. ] told him 
the jig was up, and he told me to tell 
you that he ошу spent three doll 
and is willing to give me the rest to 
bring back and he will make up what 
he spent, litde by little, if you promise 
not to call your brother from the F.B.I. 


red the classroom, I could 


s Bos 


aimi 


A week later the Long Island. Welf 
Board paid a visit to my father, attempt 
ing to ascertain what sort of family at- 


mosphere produced а criminal of my 
proportioi 

Miss Bostaug hadn't “squealed” on 
me, but she had done her duty, not only 
to the authorities, but also to me. She 
was aware that my environment was as 


much to blame for my behavior as I 
was, She was trying to help me. 

My father didn't see it that way, how- 
ever. He was simply amazed. "How 
could a son of mine steal, when all he 
has to do is ask me for anything and 


ri 1 if 1 have to 


It was 


dificult for me to answer because һе 


ting on my chest, 


was s 


My mother's boyfriends were a unique 
L They were buddies rather than 
ux. 1 can't remember seeing anyone 
ever kiss my mother — not on the mouth, 


anyway — and for sure, 1 never saw her 
in bed with any man, not even that 
onee-ina-while "mistake" in the one- 


bedroom apartment when “Ssh, you'll 
wake the kid up!" makes going to the 
hroom during the night а combina- 
tion of horror and fascination. 

1 can remember only one “walk 
in my life. As an eight year-old child. 
I stumbled through the living room on 
the way to the bathroom at four o'clock 
in the morning. My cousin Ham 
nd were pushii 
wb breathing in asthmatic mete 
ched and listened in wonderful 
curiosity 
1 no concept of what wa 
on. They were maintaining a consiste 
rhythm that kept building in streng 


ad force. Then the rhythm became 
overpoweringly intense and heavy, and 
his voice changed. pitch — that crazy so- 


prano sound that the funnymen in the 
movies allect when they imitate. ladies. 

T saw the sweet dizzy quality on the 
face of my 23-yearold cousin, as her 
nt and powder dissolved and mixed 
with her lover's sweat. She was looking 
over his shoulder. as if right at me, but 
her eyes looked funny — like my cousin 
Herman's when he was drunk. Her legs 
— lovely, smooth legs wi sug- 
tion of fine, soft hair, like the guard 
hairs on the willowlimb flowers — 
seemed to float heavenward, her 
m 


h just a 


w 


tocs 


Now her eyes started to roll as if they 
were completely gaged. My cousi 
Harry must have broken that thing that 
kes the doll's eyes go up aud down. 
ps parted slowly and she joined 
chant of submission — а chant 
h the vocabulary of theology, 
though I have never heard it a 
synagogue, church or Buddhist te 
м that was perhaps pa: 
God. oh God. oh goddamnit God! Oh 
it's so good. Harry—oh God it’s good 
оз . . 
Suddenly H eyes 
me. She screamed as if 1 were some hor- 
ble monster, "How long have you 


iple 


— ac 


focused on 


d, how long have 


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you been standing the 
I reacted subjectively 
ted 
tion rc 
E 
looked up at the clock, thou 
ment, and repeated her question. 
Tow long have I been standing here? 
Well, the big hand is on the and 
the litle hand is on the twee, diac 
means i's— umm — 3 
They told me that was very nice and 
Twas a very clever boy, and that I should 
go to bed 
Without someone te 
they had been doing. I could never tell 
you whe that w: dirty 
act а sel-indulgent 
act of pure religious 
all the exposure Гуе I still can't 
tell you. You must interpret what went 
on in your оми way—and, of course, 


suming they 
¢ to show olf since her ques 
ated to са of learning that 

volved with at the time. T 
ht for it 


me what 


vou will. 


My childhood seemed like an endless 
ıl uncles and 
log still rings 
in my car Isooris with 
my own kids. . y times have 
1 told you not to slam the door 
Don't run up the . . Dort tell 
me Danny did it ny told vou 
to jump olf the Brooklyn Bridge, you'd 
jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. right? 
< Children have children's. portions 
and big people have big people's. por- 
tions — if you're hungry you'll cat more 
bread — and there's plenty of cabbage 
left . . 

“Don't read at the table, 
be told. 

“Why do they put stull on the cereal 
box if they don't want you to 
"Not at the 


I would 


L thought, Ul read 
I want... . Standing on the 
that you're readin 
“А cereal box." 


The plan was 1 would stay with теа 
tives GJ my parents “get sti 
out.” 

I learned there is no Judge Hardy, 


there is no Andrew, nobody has а Mom 


we young sensualist, 
1 dreamed about living over а bam, sec 
ing the stars through а cracked: board 
the cows and I 
d шле in a shed below. 
cam come up [rom the h 
[тому winter morn 
gata table rich with h 
oods with seven other farm 
4 home f 


room, smell as 


me 


ing, having company in the morni 


THE €HoELAcE: 


having a fami 
hanging out with the big guys, learning 
to use Bull Dur 

AL 16 I ran away from home 
found it Two rich, productive, sweet 
years with the Dengler family on their 
Long Island farm. 

The Denglers were a combination of 
Swedish and German. stock, Although 
y were still young —she in her 30s 
id he in his 40s — I never saw them kiss 
cach other, E was shocked when I learned. 
that they slept in separate. bedroom 
new they were tired after working a 
long day, but I couldu't understand why 
nyone who could, wouldn't want to 


slecp arms: 

1 would wait for an opportunity when 
Mr. Dengler was enjoying a good 1 
and then I would cuch him awares 


Mrs. Dengler 


another persor 


ive him a big hug- 
called me a 
rejected m 


end up bei 


g bug,” but she never 
They said 1 would probably 
a politi 


The Dengler farm faced the highway- 
As E carried the pails of slop to the hogs, 
I watched the cars whizzing by on their 
way to Grumman and Sikorsky and 
Sperry. Neither the drivers nor 1 real- 
ized that their day's work would some 
day put an end to someone somewhere 
also carrying slop to hogs. A couple of 
times when the сату overheated. they 
id | would ask 
them what they were making out at 

ту 


would stop for water. 


They did't know. "Some fittings. - 
Some fittings — the Norden bombsight 
to fit into the B-17. “I just do picce 
work.” (My approach to humor today is 
in distin between the moral 
differences of words and their connot 
tions: then it was simply in the s 
onym: “Oh, you do piece work? How 
about bringing me home some 

Directly opposite the highway that 
ran by the farm was a long dusty dirt 
road with crops on cach side — potatoes, 


ishing 


rything you buy in 
cultivated, 


mhands. Some of the fertilization 


fom 


direct 
‘There wer 


producer tọ consumer: 
no lavatories in the fields. 
but the itinerant dayworkers — six Polish 
women — һай a very relaxed attitude 
toward the performing of their natu 
functions. 


To this day, I always insist that all 


my vegettbles be washed thoroughly. 

I was entrusted with the unromantic 
job of weeding, although D did get to 
drive the old truck with the broken 
manifold, back and forth across the field, 
which really gased me. 1 imagined 
myself to be Henry Fonda. The only 
uii that bi d me was that it was 
so lonesome out there all day. 1 tried 
to talk to the Polish ladies, but they 


didit understand me. 1 even. brought 
them candy — Guess Whats, Mary Janes, 
Hootens — but all the 


did was grunt. 193 


PLAYBOY 


194 


They allowed me to witness the 
intimate functions, but it w 
didn't exist. 

М. Dengler would get up about 3:30 
in the morning to cook breakfast [or 
ght men: she would work in the fields 


most 
as if I 


and then she would do her housework, 

During inter mouths, the Deng- 
les ran le stand selling can- 
ned goods and cggs to the workers on 
their way to and from a nearby defense 


ned goods would actually be 
sold ош the first day, and we only had 
enough chickens to supply eggs for 
about two or three cus. So we bought 
eggs wholesale from as far away as Texa 
and Mason-jar c Irom an 
outfit in Georgia. 

My job was to immerse the jars in 
hot water, wash olf their labels and put 
ours on. I would also open the egg 
crates — which were packed by the gross 

wd repackage the eggs in our cartons. 
by the dozen. With my philanthropic 
sense of humor, | would add a little 
mud. and. straw. and chicken. droppings 
to give them an authentic pastoral touch. 

People were always coming back and 
telling us: "How fresh the eggs are!" 
Sales increased rapidly and 1 soon had 
a big problem. Although 1 had enou 
straw and mud, there were only 22 
chickens— and | was too embarrassed 
to ask il there were any wholesale chick- 
cushit houses in Texas 

D decided to cut the pure stull with 
cow manure. There was never a com- 
plaint. 


ille would drive 
the city 10 get 
The chauffeur was a lit 
shman who uc 
пег Wil 


Once a week а big La 
all the way ош from 
Tarm-fresh e; 
tle wizened old 
ever spoke. The ow 
who looked like Mary Astor. She was a 
very grand-type lady, about 35, which 
seemed quite old to me. 

She said the farm was “quain 
remarked how fortunate 1 was not 10 be 
sed by city pressures.” She beg 
to bring me things — sweate 
even a te ket, I fed her char 


a woman 


shocs, 


id aud exclaimed: "Oh. gosh. a 
sweater! I always wanted one with no 
р: 


osky, Zero!" to complete the picture. 

Once 1 sensed she ag a Tittle 
low. so I told her that my mother and 
father had been killed. D fabricated a 
very pathetic story for her, and it 
picked her up. It was a sort of F. 


CARE Package — a little somethi; 


Гес! 


town to buy a new jacket. I 
suede jacket with a broken zipper that 
had to be pinned shut. I told her I 
couldn't leave the stand. She told the 
chaufleur to get out and take. over for 
me, and she would do the driving. 

On the way back Irom the city, she 
pulled over into a shaded area and 
stopped. We talked for a long time, and 
she me about her who was 
drowned. and also about her. husband 
who manufactured rented. candy 
chines. She intimated that she would 


told son 


and 


| T3W2358 se YY 


“This looks like an interesting case.” 


like to adopt me. 


She asked about my religious beliefs 
She asked if D had ever been naughty 


with girls, P had never even kissed à 
опе to high school and 
T was very shy — E had often thought 
about bein; " with girls, but I 
could never seem to arrange to be in 
the right place at the right time. 

We talked about some other things. 
and she told me to look in the glove 
compartment for а surpri 
found a sheath knife and a flashlight. 
There was also a packet of pict wd 
she asked me if 1 would like her to 
show them to me. 

T had never seen any pictures like 
those before. They were of men and 
women in various attitudes of lovemak- 
ing. The nudity and the absurdity of the 
contortions amused and T started 
bh She was quite disturbed by 
but I couldn't help it. I had 


me, 


She asked m 
were dirty, 


1 thought the pictures 
nd when T couldn't stop 
long enou; nswer, she 
s a cover-up for a filthy 

g to lose the jacket, 1 


apologized. 
She forg 


€ me and then delivered а 
lecture оп how some women can give 
you а terrible disease. She explained how 
you can get some diseases from using 
towels or from sitting on toilet ts. 
She asked me if I knew what the symp- 
toms of these diseases were. I confessed 
my imo: ind she grew alarmed. 


“Why. vou Gut have one of those 
diseases rig ıd not even 
know it” 


And. with а very clinical attitude, she 
unbuttioned my 

А few years later in boot camp, whe 
we got our first illustrated lectu, 


on 
venereal disease. 1 w ted chat 


it Jacked the same perso touch. 


The Dengle 


ncc to 


were quite upset with 
ms im] volunte the 
Navy. 1 pestered Mrs. Dengler daily 
waiting for that official letter. D had 
some literature about the Navy and the 
taining courses they offered. and 1 ir 
viewed it at every opportunity i 
“reading room" — а four-seater (опе 
was entirely sewn up by a cobweb) with 
a wasp hive up in the righthund corner 
of the ceiling that was the color of gray 
cardboard. D always read uneasily, in 
dread of an attack 

The outhouse is to the armband what 
the water coole to the wh 
worker. 

But, workin: 
off wasn't 


v for 


my 


ollar 


for the Denglers, goofing 
ecessary lor me. They were 
easy bosses to work for. Although 1 put 
n about 60 hours a week and received 
$40 а month plus room and board, I felt 
no resentment, because they worked lo 


cr and harder. 

Then, too, they were my mother and 
father = the mother and father 1 
always dreamed about — and I always 
had good company, which made me 
think about all the lonesome people 
who lived in furnished rooms with thei 
container of milk or can of beer on 
the window ledge. Wouldn't it be nice 
if all the people who arc lonesome could 
live in onc big dormitory, sleep in beds 
next to each other, talk and laugh, and 
keep the lights on as long as they want 
to? 

Lonesome people are a vast neglected 
segment of that mythical Am. Pub. 
lic the advertising men are always talk- 
ing about. One mustn't assume that all 
lonesome people are pensioners. old 
maids and physically handicapped shut- 
There are lor : meu who 
d Bus Station and 
are secretaries who live in imi 
late apartments which they wouldn't 
mind having messed up by some guy 
who doesn't hang up his clothes. 

Sometimes when Tm on the road in 
a huge hotel, E wish there was a closed- 
circuit. tle n camera in each room. 
and at two o'clock in the morning the 
"nouncer would come on: “In Room 
LB there is a ripe. blue-eyed. pink- 
nippled French-and-lrish court. stenog- 
rapher lying in bed tossing and turning 
fi the bonds of her nightgown, AN 


ч- 


the ash s i her room are clean, her 
stockings and panty-girdle have just been 
washed and are h 4 on the shower 


curtain bar. This is a lite model, abso- 
lutely clean. used only a few times by a 
lor on 1 
Or: “In Aparunent 107 there 
year-old Jewish widower who is lis 
tening to Barry Gray on the radio. 
ing in his underwear and looking at 
the picture of his da - 
law who live in Lawrence. Long Island. 
and haven't called since Yom Kippur. 
This is a bargain for an aggressive young 
жо say to him, ‘I like you 
beesiuse you're sensible and sensitive 
right. it's true. young men are a “good 
ime," but after that, wha 
I can have a serious discussion 
th, one who can co-sign. ..." 


hter and son 


n who c 


a 


Mrs. Dengler drove me to the station 
of the Long Island Railroad to catch 
the train that would take me away to 
war, I kissed her and said. "Goodbye, 
" She smiled at me and left. She 


never had any kids of her own. 


One day 1 was standing at 90 Church 
Street in downtown New York City, lit 
erally in the hands of an Army doctor 
who was telling me to cough — that uni 
versal male experience. 

1 volunteered for the Navy in 1942. I 
was 5/2", weighed 120 pounds, 
a heavy beard that needed removing 


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about once every six months. 

The Navy taught me a sterile sense 
of cleanliness, punctuality, and gave me 
the security of belonging. For the first 
time D was able to relate to my fellow 
тап. 

Му first Artie Shaw. 
We took he together in New- 
port, Rhode Island. During that 21-day 
incubation period, the excitement of war 
was dwarfed by “Artie Shaw is here!” 
Antic Shaw: Begin the Beguine. Night 


“relative” was 
ot trainia 


and Day, Dave Tough, Max Kaminsky, 
Lana ‘Turner, Kathleen. Winsor. Artic 
Shaw — Orpheus, music and love — and 


sin blue Of course, 
I never saw him, but it was enough tor 
me that he was there. 


€ 


me: we were brothici 


shtcen years later. 1 got the same 
tion from words. 
Artie Shaw is here!" — when the owner 
of the Blue Angel Саі whispered it to 
me before 1 went onstage. “Artie Shaw 
is here!" How just. how natural — we 
w the war togetl 

He had enlisted as 
He 


those m 


tice sea- 


ma M have in а do 
oth a Miller, for ex- 
ample, with a commission in clarinet — 
but he made it as an apprentice saman, 
which was a silly-ass thing to do. 

As it tuned out, he had а much 
p time in service than 1 did, He 
got an oversolicitous: “This is 
Shaw, Captain Alden, he has agreed 
give vou that autographed picture of 
himself for Admiral Nimitz!" — or, more 
often: “Look. pretty boy, you're not in 
Hollywood now. there ain't no butlers 
around here!" Artie Shaw would have 
been glad to have b: 
as 1 was the 
a serial nu 
country. 
Even as а kid. I was hip that 80 
percent of the guys that go for. Civil 
Service pension security have no balls 
for the sufle outside. Tam not knock 
ing the desire for security: we're all kind 
of scared and would like to be sitting 
under the kitchen sink, picking at the 
linoleum, But it really bugged Shaw. 
He put in an ur request for a trans 
fer to the Mediterranean. We were all 
nxious to go and be blessed by priests 
nd rabbis, thereby giv s the OK 
to kill the enemy 

Those dirty pregnant Japanese women 
who stood in the silent army, like [alin 
mothers standing over boiling pow of 
hetti, and Jewish mothers slaving 
pots of chicken soup — women un 
concerned with politics: all they know is 


cou 


1 


ıı as anonymous 
ordinary seaman with 
to fight for his 


that 19 cents a pound for chopped meat 
is ridiculous. Those dirty Jap babies 
mused by the 

ng 


hose diny Japs we hawd, who 
now fill the windows of Americin stores 
with cameras. Those dirty Japs that 


Knocked up the portableradio industry. 


Where the hell was Criswell Predicts 
ther 

Now there are по more dirty Japs: 
there are dirty Commies. Those dirty 
Commies! And when we run out of them 
there'll just be dirty dirt. And dirty mud. 
Then well eat the mud and Pearl Buck 
hook about it. By that timc. 
the few hippies who discovered that it's 
the carth which is dirty will have made 
it to the moon for the Miss Missile co 
test 


will write 


On a Quel triplebrrr snow-cold gi 
Coddington Poi 
nd 200dd 
n 


winter morning at 
Rhode Island, Artic Shaw 
other s 
their red eyes and chapped thighs, waiting 
for chow to blow. A Chief Petty Olhcer 
me in and told Artie that a Lieute 


and w 10 see у 
Shaw was sure that this was his transfer. 

He marched out with his Don Win- 
slow snap. the other sailors nervously 
pecking through the barracks window. 
When you're in boot camp, а Licute 
ant Commander might as well be the 
President. Shaw was understandably 
nervous as the Li ut nant. Commander 
reached out his hand, say "Put Jer 
there, Antic,” and then said 11 words 
that had more impact than Roose- 
velis. “December 7th, a day that will 
live in infamy” speech 

The Lieutenant Commander looked 
Shaw in the eye and said: “I just wanted 
to shake the hand that patted the ass of 
Turn 


1 my first 
i stud with 
Louis: — the kind of chick that makes an 
elevator operator feel possessed. of gre 
conmol because he went up 18 floors 


and dicht vip oll her dress. 
Louise was 28 when I met he Her 
futher and mother had just died, 


and she and her 
the business: а 13 x13-foot combination 
Italian-American grocery and soda foun- 
tain, with diving quarters in the back. 
Her brother took care of the store dur 
ing the day, and she worked there at 
night so he could go to CCNY 

Her husband was a private in the U.S 
lufantry. stationed in Tecland for the 
dination 

I walked into the store in white hat, 
dress blue u Endicott 
Johnson shoes, so new they slipped on 
cement. T was announced by the little 
tin bell — the candy-store burglar alarm. 
Behind the counter stood Loi 


brother inherited 


iform and 


se. 

Doctors who have probed, cut. sewn 
and rubbergloved so many women that 
it has become a task would get shaken 
by a Louise. 

Hmm, k quite 
normal: perhaps the trouble is respira 
tory. Unbution your blouse а moment 


your wids 


seem. 


апа we'll give a listen to the old ticker. 
s quite a bit of flu going around 
. there, шз... actually - 
uh, uh . . . here, uh. . Oh God. oh 
merciful Mother of God, what a body! 
so tan and yet so white. Please, 
Not as a doctor 


ase don't Edi me 
Here. . please . . . oh God! Im 
losing my mind. let me latch the door 

- let me just kiss il, th all I want 
to... . Oh, please р 
Please just touch it. Just... 

11 do respect you 
my godd: 

With 
and a dollar in my hand, Iked up 
to the counter and spoke ow with a 


Гм 


jaded-enough tone so that Louise would 
know th 


t Fd been around 
nd a bay of potato chips. 
She ripped the stapled chips away 
from the cardboard. When she spoke, 
her words stunned me. I never expected 
a woman who looked like that to talk 
to а bon vivant such as L 
“How the hell did you get gum in 
һай?” she asked. 
rhe guy who sleeps in the bunk 
above me stuck it on the edge of my 
k. 1 thought I got it out." 
nere 
take it ow 
1 followed her through the bluc-rayon 


psi. 


iv 


I've got some benzene, 


portals that separated the store from her 
home. I sat on а soda box and watched 
her rumble through the medicine 
et, which was a cardboard carton u 
her bed. 

She soaked the 
gently knead 


iler 


and stood over me, 


ent of the white dove. pem 
inst my check. The gum 
ne and my first love was nur- 
D'Oro 


pur 

1 wonder if any Chilean chicle worker 
lrcamt of the delicious fruit that 1 
ed from the by-product of his labor. 


ed to а light cruiser, the 
Brooklyn. 
- Leonard. Alfred. Schneider — on 


the deck of a 
Afr 


ship bound for North 
jı 1300 other men 


the war by a socio political carthquake — 
for we were E more than. enemy 
breastworks: w g loose the 
veils from shadowed Moslem faces and 
the gold from their front teeth. 

т had two battle stations— опе on а 
11 gun yw five- 
inch deck gun. A cannon in the Navy 
is always called a gun. 


and ich was on 


Five in the morning, г 
topside: wash down the deck and do 
t work. Seven o'clock, secure. Seven- 
thirty to eight, chow: pru beans, 
cornbread, cold cuis, Waldorf salad. cof- 
fee. Eight o'clock, turn to: painting, 
chipping. scraping. ammuni 
ing party. Twelve o'clock, chow: Br 
beel, dehydrated potatoes, spinach, cof- 
‚ One o'dock, work. 
Twotorty-live attack 1 enemy planes, 
man your battle st with planes. 

(1 could. use Navy time. zero six-hun- 
dred, etc. but I had elevated to the idio- 


с». 


matic group: “Look out the window 
sce who is on the left side of the b 
The sec 


эм. Secure 
party. replace expended 
Quick scrubdown, 
never got more th 


nd salt water mixed together 
ht men followed by 12. 
then by about 40 more, floated grace- 
fully by the bow of the U. S. 5. Brooklyn 
These dead Air Force men that just a 
few months ago wer 


sayi 


ular 
Did you get my 
cleaner's. sweetheart? 
“They'll never get me — my uncle is 
an alderman. 


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198 


“Now listen, Vera, I'm going to put 
all my stuff in these cardboard boxes, 
and I'm going to lock them in that closet 
back of the den. Please don't let anyone 
touch them — and don't just say 
me — I don't want anyone. do you u 
sti 
шї... 

His мш. Му stul, Everyone was wor- 

ing about their stuff . . . their papers 
possessions. 

The bodies continued to float b 
heads bumping the starboard side. 
ag those pitiful, fresh-dead bodies, 
I knew then what a mockery of life the 
listic concept is. After they got 
yam, someone would go through 
his “stuff” and try to figure out why in 
the world he wanted “all that мий” 
The stuff that he kept so nice would 
eventually be thrown out of the base- 
ment. for the suf would now be crap. 
“Hey, throw this crap outta here! 


der- 
nd, anyone, fooling around with my 


their 


the tele; 


Standing on the deck of a warship in 
battle, you get a good look at the com- 
petitive aspect of life, carried to its ex- 
treme. 

Our society is based on competition 
If it isn't impressed upon you at home 
with the scramble for love between broth- 
ers and sisters, they really lay it down to 
you in school — in пипс child 
сап uuderstand — that’s what is. 

You bring home 100 percent. and 
your mother hugs you and your father 
pats you on the back. The teachers beam 

t vou. But not your schoolmates: they 
know they're in competition with you, 
and if you get a high percentage they 
must get a lower one. Everybody wants 
love and acceptance and he soon learns 
that one way to get it is by getting higher 
marks than the other fellow, 
ssence. you ed by your 
ates! failures. We take this with 
о adulthood. Just look at the Dusi- 
L 


ness worl 


So. my first instinct in this structure 
of economic а 
hl, Јо 


nd critical success is to 


want Mort Winters, Shel- 


same place, I've brought home а good 
report. card. 
I struggle with this part of me which 


ic. and now — perhaps this can 
be explained by the fact that Fam mak- 
ing enough money to afford to be mag- 


nanimous about it — I genuinely 
a another's success. T would lik 
lieve that if 1 were still scufflin 

wr well T would still be 
happy for him. But I wonder. 1 am 
happy he's doing well. But. not better 


mc. 


The U. S, S. Brooklyn was a big ship, 
nd she was considered quite а danger 
се by the enemy. At n 


and a nui 


the enemy planes, unless they had ins 
information. could only tell what they 
were bombing by the fire power that 
thrown at them. If they received 
but 20 millimeter and 40s, they 
assume that the 1 
s a DE or some other small c 
ried only small arms. 

We were uapped in a str 
We were the only heavy power in the 
area, but if we threw up our big зш — 
our fiveinch guns— they would know 
mediately that we were a cruiser, and 
then they would send lor assistance, and 


do us 
When General Quarters sounded. at 
эси, it was usually an E-boat or a sub- 
marine. | loved this because 1 wasnt 
raid of being killed in battle as I 


of being bored. Lucky for me that 
the guys in power at the time knew the 
real danger and kept me occupied. I 
~ rateful, but it was still prety ex- 
s without se- 


w 


thr s and four major 
invasions — Anzio, Salerno. Sicily. South- 


ern France— I was a shell passer with 
а heavy helmet wd with 
smelly foam rubbe of sleep- 


ck. then graduating, to 
Three years of lu 
“aill P didit w 


lower 
“Now hei 
hear й 


hree years of being 
the 


buzzer that made 
тйс goose would, 


akened by a 
sound that 


Gonk! 
the b . The tins whistle 
and the trumpet just lacked. a rhythm 
section to keep th ш veal 
hard sw TS. 

The impersonal voice would boom 
over the speaker: "All men man your 
battle stations, secure all hatches. the 
smoking lamp is out." 

Га scramble up the ladder just in time 
to get my helmet knocked off and my 
nose bloodied from the concussion vac 
uum created in the hatch cove. 

We would be bottled up. 
harbor, the Germans bombi 
ing every ship in the . Tt was blind- 
man's bull. 

As a child 1 loved confu: 
ing blizzard that would sop 
and the mails: toilets tha 
stopped up and overflow 
the halls: electrical f res = anythin 
that would stop the flow and make it 
back up and find a new direction. Con- 
fusion was entertainment for me 

While the war was on. the altern: 
tion of routine and confusion sustained 
my interest, but then it was over and 
I wanted out. 

I had been a good sailor with a ster- 
ling record. of consistent. performance, 
but J wasn't а mensch. However, I didn't 
put the Navy through any red tape com- 
„ so 1 felt they should permit me 


m fro: 


n: a freee 
l trafic 
would get 
nd run down 


to exit with the same courtes 
guys tried to get out during th 
1 considered that cowardly, but 1r 
alized my schemes with: “Why not — the 
war is over." 

But how does опе go 
his toes olf with an oar? 


bout shootin 


We lay at anchor in the Bay of Naples 
and the night closed in around me. | 
d to get out, and get out fast. Other 
ys had gone wacky — some on purpos 
id the only 
thosc who could just sit 
everything. They got ou 
dishonorable disch: 
they were processed, it was six months 
n the a trial. and such a hard time 
rth it. I had to think, 


but with a 
And by the time 


that it wasnt we 
You spend your whole life thinki 


ана wonying. Worrying about the de 
bores, and where to cash them. 
tonight it seemed that geuing out 

of the Navy, or even getting out of the 
Mediterranean, was years away. 1 won 
dered who was bu Mema her 


1 closed my eyes in the pitch-black 
night all of a the 
heavens seemed to light up like Times 
Square. For a moment, I thought: “Oh 
oh, 1 don't have to worry Y 
problem has solved itsclf: I won't have 
to pretend." ] recalled. previous flashes 
он my optic nerve 

1 am sitting at the Silva 
in Boston, next to a gi 
. painted fing 
stick on her teeth. We 


and then sudden 


are having our 


picture tiken by the nightclub. pho: 
tographer. Flash! 

The first time 1 ever saw a flashlight, 
my cousin Stanley was sticking it in his 


mouth, making his checks all red. 

Magic lights — the flash of lightning 
on choppy Long Island Sound as my 
Uncle Bill pulls in a flounder. 
window screens. 

The lights in the Вау of Naples kept 
gening bri and brighter. 1 won 
dered for an instant — is this the spirit 
ual illumination Гуе read. about? Will 
T see the V with the Fatima appear 
nest? 

My vision cleared and. simultancously 
I felt a smothering wave of factory heat 
= hotter than all the asphalt. road in 
Arizona put together. Mt. Vesuvius had 
erupted for the first time in centuries: 
Mt. Vesuvius. the earth that bore the 
tree, that bore the it. that fed man 
The carbon process —cach of us onc 
molecule in the vast u 

The earth that saw n 
competitor. 

The earth 
Italians — the Vene 
colorists. The Talis 
clothe Miles Davis. 

‘The carth saw this and vomited that 
night in Naples. 


verse, 
» destroy his 


aw Пайи killed. 
ans the brillant 
is that would soon. 


“How do you expect me to love you when you keep me 
chained to this goddamn rock?" 


199 


PLAYBOY 


200 


a wad 


Army you can get out if you're 
‚ Why couldn't you get out of the 
Navy if you were a WAVE? 

Down in my bunk I had 
Psychopathia Sexualis by Kra 
There it was. 


copy of 
fit-Ebing. 


neve 
do anything els He's com- 
pletely harmless. But obviously he would 
be an inconvenience to the Navy, where 
they like to keep everything organized 
by having everyone dress alike. 


ud loyalty to the 
the old esprit de corps — rather th 
dulging myself with the obvious sort of 
feather-boa negliget and gold-lamé mules 
wouthit — then maybe instead of boot- 


ing me out, they'd open the door politely 
and escort me out like an officer and 
a lady. 


Swanson, one of my shipmates. could 
s well as а girl. He was also a bee 
t. Hed do anything for a boule 


of beer. 
North 


In Africa, Gibraltar, Malta, 
Corsica, Sicily — wherever we made port 
— they had given us chits that entitled us 
to so much beer. I didn't drink beer, and 
1 saved all my chits. Along with these, I 
won some gambling, and Ї also received 
quite a few for standing watch for dif- 
ferent guys. I had enough beer chits to 


Scrooge at an AA Christmas show. 
ave my chits to Swanson, and his 
gers flew to the task. The way he th 
himself into his work made me wonder 
bout Jim. With the pleats. the shields, 
everything, he made me а Lieutenant. 
For a while it was just scuttlebutt that 
a WAVE was scen promenading forward 
at the [o Csle du 
A number of guys who saw it 
report it out of fear that they'd be 
a Section 8 themselves. Finally one ni 
I was doing my nautical Lady Macbeth 
diet 


59 


g the midnight watch. 
didn't 


when four guys, including the 
MasteratArms. jumped me. 


1 yelled, “Masher! 


nists worked over 
me at Newport Naval Hospital. 

First Officer: “Lenny. have you ever 
actively engaged пу homosexual 
practice? 

Lenny 

(An "active 
docs the doi 


Four n 


id the "passive 
k. In other words. 
id you were hitchhiking and 
got came on with vou and you 
do whatever his "do" was, he 
з "active" homosexual because he 
formed a sex t with somcone of 
the same sex, and you are a “passive” 
homosexual if you allowed any of this to 
happen, You'll never see this in an AAA 
driving manual, but that’s the wav it is) 

Second Officer: “Do you enjoy the 


is one 
í you 


some 
let h 
was 


"I don't know how to thank you, Doctor. Group therapy 
seems to be the answer to my problems." 


Lenny: “Yes, sir. 
Third Officer: “Do you enjoy having 
intercourse with women?” 

Lenny: “Yes, sir. 

Fourth Officer: “Do you enjoy wearing 
women's cloth 


Lenny: "Sometimes." 
All Four: "When is that?” 
Lenny: “When they 


I stuck to my story, and they finally 
gave up. Only, it didn't work out th 
way Thad figured it, They drew up 
undesirable discharg 

At the last minute, though (this does 
sound like a Fairy Story, doesn’t itz). the 
Red Cross sent an auomcy who reviewed 
the case 
was ridiculous. There were no charges 
ainst me. The entire division was qu 
tioned. aud when it was ascertained tha 
had a good credit rat vivility— base 
upon paid-up accounts in numerous N 
politan bordellos — I received an honoi 
able discharge. 

So everything worked ош all right. 
except that they took away my WAVES 
uniform. It bugged me because Tw 
to have it asa sort of keepsake of the w 
I wouldn't ever wear it, natu 


maybe on Hallowe 


А saw that the whole thing 


The fist place I went to whe 
out of the Navy was back to the farm. 1 
was anxious to show the Denglers my 
uniform and battle And d 
wanted to see the Soaper farm down the 
road and the Ettletons across the way. 

I got olf the bus, and there were Mr. 
and Mrs Dengler in the front yard, 
crating tomatoes. T ran over and thr 
my ound Mrs, Dengler. She said 
if she had scen me only 
d just finished 


Т got 


ribbons. 


rms 


ning the stables, 
I had written to them many times from 
overseas and never ived any 
reply, so 1 assumed they һай sold the 
farm. 1 hadn't expected to see them now: 
1 merely wished to find out where they 
moved. [ couldn't just 
wouldn't answer, because Pd thought our 
tionship had been so clos 
Didn't vou get my letters? I asked. 
“Yes. tha you. We've been so busy 
we haven't even had time to do a 
canning 
1 had expected . . .. I dont know ahat 
the hell P had expected. Maybe some 
ig surprise cake: but instead 
Mr. Dengler simply climbed. into the 
unuk and his wife joined him 
ou put on some weight,” she said. 
“Are vou going to be around? Probably 
see vou later." 
And they dr 
at their dust 
Would 1 be around? | wept out of 
embarrassment. 1 really felt like a clown 
in my uniform. The next wain didn't go 


ree 


believe thev 


ve off, leavi 


me staring 


back to New York until 11 pat. 

I walked the six miles back to the 
n and just sat around, sort of half 
hoping that Mrs. Dengler would come 
looking for me. She knew there were only 
three farmhouses in the area and only 
onc train back to the city. She would go 
to each farm and inquire if 1 was there. 
Then she would rush off to the station 
and say, “Boy, you fell for the oldest trick 
in the world. You were really feeling 
sorry for yourself, weren't you? We were 
going to let you stay here another two 
hours just to tease you. I made a big 
surprise party cake for you, and all your 
friends can't wait to see you and hear all 
about how it was over there.” 

But no one came to the station. 

I bumped into one kid I had known 
slightly, and he asked me if I was looking 
for a job. They wanted some bean- 
pickers at the Etdetons. 

I knew then that this was all it had 
ever becn: a job. Tom Wolfe was right 
when he said you can't go home again, 
but it’s especially ипе when it was never 
your home to begin with. Still, у 
completely dissolve the fantasy. . - 

Any minute that big black LaSalle 
would pull up, and my benefactress 
would make me secure with a sweater and 
some back-seat sex, and the chaulfeur 
would shake my hand and say, "Good 
show, son! It's grand to have the master 
home 


u don't 


Then we would drive off to The 
Little Theater OF Times Square, where 
Madame Chiang Kai-shek would confide 
to me in the lobby that the Generalissimo 
hadn't taken off his stinking Boy Scout 
uniform in 25 years: Franklin. Delano 
Roosevelt would be g up, pushing 
his wheel chair, screaming, "See the 
boardwalk in Atlantic City my 
mother and father would be there — 
together — because they were never really 
divorced . . . they would kiss each other 
and say, 
a joke.” Now everyone is seated, the 
lights come down, the conductor strikes 
up the last 32 bars of Pins and Needles, 
the curtains open, and there is Mema, 
reading a cereal box and poking her- 
self with that douche nozzle, squeezing 
it and getting the most beautiful sounds, 
and telling 
body's Business But Lenny's." 


nd 


t's all over, Lenny, it was just 


the whole world: "It's No- 


My mother had involved herself with a 
girl named Mary. In business, that is 
my mother did not profess Will Rogers’ 
paraphrased philosophy: "I never met a 
dyke 1 didu't like." 

They taught ballroom dancing. My 
mother's name is Sally, so they combined 
names and came up with "The Marsalle 
School of D; е." 

The school —a loft over Топу Canzo- 
neri's liquor store — consisted of an office 
and а big room where their pupils 


(pensioners and other lonesome men that 


Sole Distributors: Coloni 


Casanova used it after 


4711is a men's after-lotion. Bon vivants have sought 
it out since 1792. It is eminently suitable for a man 
because it refreshes, yet it leaves no cloying after- 
scent. 4711, the classic cologne, may be used after 
a shave, after a shower, after a long day's work. 
Frankly, what you use it after is your own affair. 


4711...the cologne from Cologne. 4711 FOR MEN. 


‚ New York 17, 


N. 


PLAYBOY 


belonged to The Great Army of the Un- 
tid. but who were fortunate enough to 
be reaping the benefits of Mutual of 
Omaha) waited to learn the t nd 
the peabody. 

The sad thing was that the women 
these men got to dance with were Mary 
and my mother. 

There the 
dancing school that were condemned. 
The whole buildi ct, Was Con- 
demned. except for the lower loft. 1 loved 
10 hang out in my own special "con- 
demned room.” 1 would indulge myself 
in bizarre melodramatic fantasies, the 
spell usually being broken by my mother's 
equest to empty the : 
If it was Monday I would take the 
rhage with me to the VA buildin 
because to empty the garbage downstairs 
you had to sey te the is from the 
papers. The landlord insisted that you 
put the cins in one container and the 
papers in another. He was a real twisted 
nut in regard. to his vefusc-filing system. 

“Miss Clark, check in the files of May 
18th, 1950, and bring me the eggshells 
and the collee grounds and one orange 


pechos 


were lots of rooms over 


going to the Veterans’ 
ion (where 1 would just dump 
lage, unsegresated, into a big 
ket) was the 5220 Club. 7 
Government gave all ex-GIs S20 a w 
for a year or until they could find a job. 
cepted smart-thingtodo was to 
find an employer who didn't report 

ake out withholding ta 
and then you could. grab the 5 


20 plus 


1 would fill out a report form, swearing 
that E had tried to fmd work that week. 


h was true. 1 had asked my mother 
ad Mema and two guys that sat next to 
me in a movie if they knew of any jobs. 
hed filling out the weekly 
k all over my fin: 
from one of those scratchy post-office 
pens. The man who invented them is the 
same guy who invented the wax napkins 
they give you with hot dogs. It doesn't 
wipe the mustard off: it rubs it in — sort 
of like favored Man-Tan. 

1 used a piece of newspaper to wipe 
the excess ink olf my fingers, It contained 
a glowing account of Father Divine and 


report, 1 noticed 


I the money he was making. I stared at 
his picture and the - Then 1 went 
k to my "condemned room.” carry 


the work light from the dancing school. 
There was no electricity above the school 
floor; you just plug 
carried up the exte 

I had my Fred Ast 
up the steps with the light 


ed in downstairs a 
sion 


One day, while my mother wa 
through her “stull"— four or 


going 
five car 
rings that didn't match; six pairs of plat 


1 simulated lizard that she 
ous bras with broken 
straps that she intended to mend some 
or six crumpled-up 
Kleenex with traces of lipstick — she told 
m 


that she had decided to study eccen- 


or “Rubber 


Пом by the name of Joc 
Clooney who rented the studio to limber 
Ту in the morning, for which he 
nother a couple of dollars. 
le, he started wading her — 
lesous [or limbering-up 


“Now that's asking too much!” 


Within six months, Joc and my mother 
were doi t together 

They started out by working hospitals 
nd benefits, and then progressed to 
uuday-night joints in Brooklyn: on 
Bergen Street, Ocean Parkway. or Coney 
Island. A short time later, Joe left the act 
id my mother was doing а single. The 
shows consisted of master of 
ceremonies. a girl singer, а ballroom 
team, and my mother. 

On one particular night, at the Vi 
Club оп Occ kway, the ma 
ceremonies di show up. He 
trouble with his car . . 


comedian: 


had 
. they found halt- 
a- pound of pot in the trunk. 


‘The owner à 
e was pe 
single lim 


ked my mother to emcee. 
d. She had never spoki 
on the stage before. More- 
OL used to seeing 
ncees. 1 had seen the master of 
lots of times, so Т asked my 
if 1 could do it — what was so 
how ‘bout a nice hand 
for the Soandsos, folks?” 

What with a quick meeting with the 
boss, and the law of supply and demand. 
1 was given my entree into show business. 


wome 
ceremoni 
mother 

hard 


It was about 15 minutes before show 
time. | went into the men’s room to 
comb my hair. I pushed my pompadour 
as high as I could get it, and 1 puta litle 
burnt match on the mustache which T 
was sporting at the time. I was really dap. 
with my sharp browtesuede shoes from 
A. S. Beck and a one-button roll suit from 
Buddy Lee’s. It was bar-mizeah blu 
had a Billy Eckstine collar, a black knit 
tie, and a five-point handkerchief. haud. 
rolled, made in the Philippines, with the 
sticker still on it. 

Should | wear my di 
No, Vll make it on nt alonc. 

Then | suddenly realized don't 
y make-up! My first show and no 
cup. The men'sroom attendant 
(sigh, My Salary Is Your Tips. Tl 
You) had a cim of white alter-shave talc. 
I put that on, and in the rush I drop] 
it and spilled it all over my brown-suede 
shoes, 1 don’t know if you've ever tried 
geuing white talcum powder off brown 
suede shoes, but it's worse tl 
usc leaves in the woods. 
The men'sroom attendant started get- 
ig nervous and staring at me. 1 kiughed 
it off and exited with my now brown and 
white-sucde shoes. 

The bandleader who w 
introduce me was doing а warm-up and 
getting laughs. Loud Inughs. He w: 
ing his clarinet in a mann 
yond mere phallic symbolism; he w 
swinging it between his legs and sit 
“He's My Queer Racketeer. . 
he cashier asked me, "You nervous — 
nt a brandy before you go on?" 
“No, thanks. E don't know what th 
ybody ng about Tve 


harge button? 


ve 


cd 


б uying to 


s us 


hell eve 


s worry 


emceed a million shows." 

The ballroom team gave me their cues 
for applause. "Now, when | drop the 
one Кисе, she comes up. . . ." 

Suddenly my feet began to get cold, 
and I was in the men’s room. throwing 
vd to death, and the at- 
It was five minuti 
time, all the waiters had 
nd a few of the 


show 


before 
been alerted, 


iesular" 


had developed. anticipatory 


My mother looked at me from the 
opposite side of the room and panto 
mimed: “Your shoes are dirty! 

I again retreated to the men's room, 
but the attendant blocked my entrance 
this time, and 1 threw up on 
who was exiting, 

I heard the strains of * boi 
— onc of the standard. nightclub music 
innos—and 1 fled to the wings. My 
mother took one look at my powdered 
face and took me by the hand. I bolted 
away from her and into the ladies’ room 
for one last purge. 

1 felt a wave of self-pity and identified 
with Aruza. Manolete, Belmonte, and 
every other bullfizhter — scared. not of 
the bull but of the crowd. A crowd that 
waits: to be entertained, to view, 10 judge. 

T heard the bandleade 

“Thank you, ladies and gentleme 
you may know, our regular master of 
ceremonies, Tutti Morgan, is ill. due to а 
serviceconnected. injury. Luckily. folks, 
show business has a big heart. A friend of 
his, Lenny Marsalle, à famous comic in 
own right, who was in Guadalcanal 
with Tutti Morgan, is here in town to do 
the Ed Sullivan show, and when he heard 
that Tutti was sick he came right over to 


а customer 


As 


fill in — so how about it, lolks, let's hear 
it for à great comedian and a great guy 
— Lenny Магас" 


1 wiped my mouth with the square 
sheet of toilet paper that came in the con 
tainer marked Onliwon, and made my 
nd entrance onto the stage right from 
ladies room. 


the 


Actually, my function v 
I was going out there and I was merely to 
ay “Good evening,” do a few straight 
lines and introduce the girl singer, But 
why did that bandleader have to say I 
was a “great comedian" and all that dis. 
honest stuff about the Ed Sullivan show 
Now they were all waiting for a gre 
comedian. 

But he also said I was a 
Mayb 
to the audience, my being a 
Maybe I could do some of my "great suy" 
stuff. Maybe I could have my mother go 
ош and say, "He's really a "great guy 

nd everybody would believe her because 

mother knows her son better than 
anyone. 

Tsaw a sti 


quite simple. 


great gu 


1 hoped, that was more important 


preat guy. 


Iver, 


ather grotesque- 


looking ball in front of my nose. It was a 
microphone. 1 was onstage 

"Good evening, ladies 
men 

“Bring on the broads!” cur me short. 
Oh, my God. a heckler! The angry ré 
quest came from one of two guys sanding 
near the bar: with them were two Leme 
clad ladies with the letout hems, brown- 
and-white spectator pumps and whoopee 
socks, Cloth coats with silverfox collars 
which were a little too tight 
unique touch: lipstick on th 

It shocked me imo reality. 

І looked at my mother and I saw a 
helpless smile. Her son, her baby thar sl 
nursed through chicken pox, working 
as a maid to sustain the both of u: 
Her child was in trouble and she could: 
help him. 

Ma, help me: that boy hit me, Ma: 
gimme a quarter, Ma: Tm in trouble, 
Ma: I'm alone, help me, Ma... . 

Bring on the broads! 
This time the request was more posi- 


id ntle- 


and the fin; 
ir teeth. 


tive and energetic, The heckler must 
have sensed a weak, inexperienced prey. 
The two girls and the man with him 


bathed in his reflected 
ed H 


огу. His friend 
and they screamed in unison: 
ag on the broads!” And their lady 
ds shricked with ecst: 

“I'd like to, but the 
have any company at the 

My first laugh 

It was like the flash tha 
morphine addicts describi 5 
sual blanket which comes after а cold 
sick rejection. 

T was hooked. 

My mother looked at me and rc 
schepped nachis (which is the Jewish 


joiı 
“Br 


fr 


you 
bar." 


wouldn't 


troduced the first act, and an hour 
‚ at the end of the show, when Iw 
ing my mother back for an encore 
1 said. "How about that. folks, Sally 


Marsalle — isn’t she g 
How about that for silliness Tm tell- 
ing a group of "Pat my 


mother wonde 


folks. not only can she dance, but she 
makes great chicken soup. and sweet lima 
beans, and when Fm sick she rubs my 
chest with Vicks.” 

When the even 
surprise the ow 
Edu 
log 
expeet 


g was over, to my 
cr did not assume th: 
ido Cellini posture with the dis- 
that D had been conditioned to 
n the movie scene where the 
novice succeeds. Lyle Talbot alwavs nods 
to ne Palleue: “You've done it 
again, Mr, Florenzo. this kid's se 
tional! We'd better sign him up before 
the Rio Bamba gets him.” 

I received no such gratification. As а 
matter of fact, he charged me for 
II sandwich and ginger alc. 
And when I stood on the subway plat 
form and reached into my pocket Гог 
dime, 1 found that the men'sroom 
attendant had gotten even. I wont go 
into the scatological details; 1 threw thi 
coat into the wash can. 

But Td had 
lingered. 

Well, that’s show business. 


mell of it and the aroma 


This is the first installment of “How to 
Talk Dirty and Influence People.” the 
autobiography of Lenny Bruce. Part two 
will appear next month. 


203 


PLAYBOY 


204 


LIQUEURS (continued from pas 
rums; it is the most complicated of 
liqueurs and by all odds the oldest. 
It was first made in 1607, and during 
the 356 years since, only one person at 
а time has known how to make it. It is 
the only liqueur made by monks. desp 
the widespread conviction that Benedic- 
tine friars make Benedictine, They do not. 
Benedictine is wholly sccula 
‘The recipe for Chartreuse was set down 
a chemist who lived in the 1500s, 
He presented it to Francois-An 
«Елис, Marshal of ce. Accord: 
to one version of the story. the М 
gave it to the 
Vauvert, near Grenoble in F 
й was tucked. away 
more ıl шу. Accore 
other version, the D'Estrécs Га 
not give the formula to the monks until 
1605. In any case, les Péres. Chartreux 
the liqueur in 1607, en- 
Му for local consumption as а medici- 
ent. (Many liqueurs had а similar 
purpose.) hı 1757. onc of the 
monks, Brother Gérime or 
Jerome Maubec.a chemist of competence, 
refined the formula and. reordered the 
manufacturing process. In. 1901, the Car 
thusiaus were expelled from France when 
the French government expropriated all 
real property belon 
ders; they went to Tar 
Pre-expulsion” Chantre 
since commanded a heavy pr 


by 


of Chartreuse de 
and 
Ior 


mon 


ice, 
and forgouen 


cen 


сапу 
Carthusian 


nium price, 


e 99) 


poinulessly, since the stuff does not im- 
prove in the bottle, Unlike most liqueurs, 
Chartreuse is aged in cask for three y 
during which time it notably does im- 
prove, but once drawn oll, it’s finished. 


The snob appeal of pre-expulsion Cl 
treuse is strong for some people, and if 
you them, an indicator of 


irtreuse is the 
ed the labels, 


authenticity in pre-1901 С 
name of the man who pr 
one Alier. 

Usually ranked second to green Char- 
reuse is dry curacao, based on spices and 
the peel of the bitte Grand 
Marnier is a cu so is triple sec and 
so is Cointreau, Bok makes a blue 
сша. Benedictine, like Chartreuse, 
а herb-based liqueur, a liqueur jawn 
best-known here as halt of the drink 
B&B: Benedictine and Brandy The le 
was D.C - on the bottle stand lor Dco 
od Most. Good, 
lly approved 
Order of 
ay of 


Optimo Maximo, To € 
Мом Great 


is the othe 
transla nd not "Dominici 
Monks De Old Mother” 
the other popularly ascribed render 

One might go back at this point 
consider the brandies. Brandies 
liqueurs in the siria meaning 
v uwe in m 
for in 


ol 


though they а 
liqueurs: Grand Marnier 
is based on cognac, which is bra 
pessrown in the Charente re; 
¢ he terni liqueur h 


to include any and all alcoholic diiuks 


word 
папу 
stane 


uly 


fron 


Bur we are usi 


“There, I knew I could do 


pes 


historically used for after-dinner con 
sumption, as finishing notes to a good 
meal, and that is brandy’s primary role, 

The best brandy is that produced iv 
the Cognac region of France. It is dis 


tilled from an unpalatable grape wine. 
You cin pay anything you like for a 
bottle of cognac, opening at around five 
dollars. For the special use we ате pres- 


ing, 515 will fetch a 
ple. Some people prefer 


ently contempt! 
superior exa 


the rather firm te of Armagnac, а 
ape brandy, An unusual grape 
is Metaxa, made in Greece, 

i A 


bottle of five-star Metaxa is nice to have, 
and so is a boule of good Spanish sherry- 
based brandy like Pedro Domecq. 
nk of brandy we me 
rule, but many othe 
fruits do very well. A true fruit brandy is 
not sweetened, as a liqueur is sweetened, 
and ly water-white (apple brandy 
is an exception). [ like best barack- 
palinka, Hungarian. peach brandy. and 
au de Vie de Poire Willamine, a pear 
brandy made in Switzerland from the 
medium russet pear called the William 
Incidentally. one can occasionally. find. 
u de Vie de Poire Willamine with a 
inside the boule, at а premium 
he bottle is dear glass, unlabeled, 
flat on one side to display the 
This is a notable conversation 
Its amusing to hear one's guests 
R + the Боше was cut 
in order to insert the pear, and how it 


vy vs tie a thous: 
so bottles to a thousand branches, enclos- 
ing a thousand promising:looking blos- 
soms, The bottles, carefully supported, 
act as small greenhouses, and a certain 
proportion of the blossoms produce suit- 
able fruit: large, properly formed 
blemished, These pears arc cut olf inside 
the bottles, boules and fruit carefully 
washed and the brandy poured into the 
boule. As long as it is covered with brandy, 
the pear will remain as firm aud bright as 
it was on the day it was picked. If. you 
K the brandy, break the boule and 
the pear. you will find it delicious. 
but most people buy 4 plain bottle of 
mine to drink, and keep the fruited 
This oddity is usually available 
round. Christmas, may 
firm line with your liquor 
dealer to A clerk in one of the 
est est nts in New York once 
ed 10 me that it could not be im- 
ported into the country ог sold in the 
city. The reason, he said, was diat liquor 
dealers were not allowed to sell fruit and 
grocers were not allowed to sell liquor. It 
sounded very logical and 1 was almost 
surprised when | went across the street 
nd bought a boule with a pear in it. 

Next t0 grape brandy, Americans are 
best acq pple brandy, 


ote, 
only 
have to take 


and you 


distillation of hard cider which сап һе 
very good. The best used to be made 
New J id Laird’s still comes from 
that эше. Applejac 
apple brandy and is usu 
mash of apples rath 
sometimes it is produced by frecz- 


has kept the stul liquid. Best ol all Tum 
brandies is calvados, made in France with 
and Armagnac 


en cogna 
aged. Buy a bottle of do- 
mestic apple brandy and. if you like it, 
lay in a bottle of good calvados. 
Cherry b ly 
true cherry | 
kirschwasser, a distilla : juice of 
wild cherries, bottled white, (АП brandy 
s white from the still, all 
ng for lon periods in charred 
у ted up 
sometimes]. Fruit brandi 
usually not 
yond two or thr 
them ате so delit 
casks would destroy them. 
d are kept ing 
ovitz is brandy mı: 
It is aged, and 
Kd slivovitz is ph 


ndy misused 


con as doc: 


whiske 


“Those that are 
sol.) 
le of the purple 
good 10- or 15- 


v long it’s kept. 
just the same. 
D Js The 


it сап be rewardin 
Quetsch is made of Als 
yellow plum makes mi 
) slivovitz 
+ is raspberry br 
ıt wherever one finds 
ule from wild vaspber 
kirsch and the best n 
e from. the Dalm 
cherry), and since the raspbe 
elusive, many berries (some makers 
17 pounds) are required for one boule. 
ise is costly, aud worth 


and 
best 
best 
are т 


treuse, 
is wellknown; Enzian, similarly К 
less so. 

‘There ате two pi 
manufacturing fruit 
A "told 
infusing, or soaki! а 
-proof spirits (170. prool ҮТ ог 
then sweetening 


syrup i and cutting it back in 
proof with distilled water, You can make 


hion. Buy 


your own lige 


decant it into 
crushed. fruit you fancy and 
the back of the refrigerator for a couple 
of months. Then filter, cut, sweeten and 
bottle. You may even like it. 

The “hot 
and produces a superior 


product. A 
cherry liqueur made by infusing wild 


cherries in kirsch, for example. Some 


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Hanford. . ‘Leonard's Mens Wear 
Martinez .Hilson's 
Mill Valley . ..Mayer's 
Pasadena .......Hornadeys Dep't Store 
Redding ....Dicker's 
Reedley . Tejerian's 
Richmond. . -Jameson & Walz 
Sacramento . .College-Hi Shops 
Sacramento .. Lawrence's 
Sanger . Max's Men's Store 
Santa Maria. ....Warrick & Cunningham 
Santa Paula. .House of Hutchins 
Sonoma . Eraldi's Men's Shop 
Stockton. Bravo & McKeegan 


COLORADO 
Arvada ... 
Boulder . 
Denver 
Denver 


-Howell's Dept, Store 


Haes Dept. 5 
-Joslin's (all stores) 


he clean, lean look. Added attraction in 
.and there's a locker loop on the back 
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IDAHO 
Focatello . Fargo's Men's Store 

Bud's Duds 
OKLAHOMA 
Ada 


..S & Q Clothiers 
5. G. Holmes & Sons 


-Dad & Lads-Stagg Shop 
5 «Joe's 
layer & Schmidt-Student Shop 
McClurkans 
WASHINGTON 
Bellingham 
Seattle... „А 


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Really cheap ans are made by а 

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leeeesccssscsccccceccecse NEEDS NO BREAKING-IN • «= тзт зеет зве з) Apricots, chenies and: peaches are the 


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А good apricot is lovely, and some cherry 
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re others: 
rocher, et, maraschino, 
wishniak. 
Blackberry liqueur 
grandmother, except 
part of a hangover palliat 


is, in my view, for 
n one usage, as 
. There 


n of pure oxygen will help to 
but only time 


nd rest will 


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it. Do not wy to drink this potion. 
Fernet-Branca is very bitter indeed, and 
the shock of the sult hitting your taste- 
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your throat as you can. М you're lucky, 
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в; For some r 


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A TOON Or «асату consistency. Americans arc 
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on the market. Crème de ca is used 


A & in the alexander, which bartenders con- 
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are some of the others, notably the 


AND BOOKSTORES EVERYWHERE! cherry cocktail au kirsch 


is grood curflavored soufflés are 
fixtures in the haute cuisine. 


There are others? But yes. There is 
creme d'a which is not the es- 
sence of the banana but of the pine- 
apple. Bananas make créme de bananes. 
Creme de café and аёте de moka are 
made from collec. Cassis comes from the 


black currant and is almost exclusively 
uscd in making the light and refreshing 
vermouth cassis: dry vermouth, cassis 
nd sodi is what it sounds like, 


vaise, straw- 
and mot very good, того the 
pity. (The strawberry favor is most dif- 
ficult to capture.) Framboise we have 
been over. Mandarine, tangerines. Crème 
de noyaux is run up from apricot pits 
and bitter almonds, usually colored red. 
Prunclle? Thats right. Rose, vanille, 
violette. 1 suppose creme de lc 
might be considered the most nearly in- 
nocuous chink in the world. 

Drambuie is а standard, based on 
Scotch whisky, with honey and herbs. 
Irish. Mist is based on Irish whiskey and 
heather honey. Advocaat is a Dutch 
liqueur compounded of eggs, sugar and 
brandy, rather an acquired taste and 
for that, if for no other reason, unusual 
Parfait Amour, which translates as Pi 
fect Love, is made from the citron 
the lemon and colored purple. It is use- 
ful in the poussecafé, a drink formed 
by decanting liqueurs in layers. 7 
will remain separate if poured in order 
of specific over the back of a 
spoon. Or, for a quarter, the Bols people 
will send. you a plastic gimmick that 
makes it casier, A five. or six-layer 
afé is spectacular to sec, if not 


hey 


sette is aniseflavored and is prop- 
erly ranked with the important discover- 
ies of n Pastis and Pernod are 
sues The Greek Ошо is anise- 
favored. Kümmel suggests, predomi 
namtly, caraway seed, and is often the 
base Гог the great 
;oklwasscr or Liqueur d'Or, a liqueur 
in which particles of real gold leaf are 
suspended. The deaf will eventually 
settle, of course, and the bottle must 
be inverted. just before pouri 
der to redistribute it. My favorite 
by Fockink, amber in 
more spicy than most. 


onc of novelties: 


is made 
color and rath 


w 


"ser 


Pomeranzen is a gokl-bearing orar 
liqueur. 
Rockamd-Rye is a liqueur and good 


for more than colds in the head. South- 
ern Comfort is a whiskey-bascd. liqueur 
ade in this county, and so is Forbid- 
den Fruit, (The fruit in question is not 
really forbidden to anybody. It is the 
shaddock, a kind of grapelruit, borne 
by the rutaceous wee citrus maxima, and 
named after the hardy British sea cap 
tain who brought the first one back 
from the East Indies.) 

Sloe gin, best-known а ingredient 
in a fizz, is actually a liqueur based on 
the sloe berry, the [ruit of the blackthorn, 


prunus spinosa. It nothing to do 
with gin. Gin began liqueur, and 
still exists in that [orm as Hollands or 
Genev Delicious. too. Swedish 
Punch is not punch and not. Swedish, 
a rumbas liqueur flavored. 
Some people use aquavit a 
liqueur, but the Scandinavians, 
originated it, drink it icecold as 
aperitif. Even South Africa has 
queur, Van der Hum. Herbsaint is one 
of the many the-lypes, minus worm- 
wood (artemisia absinthium). 

А few genuine oddities to round off 
the collection? Something you won't find 
in just anybody's liquor cabinet? There's 
Borovicka, a Slovakian specialty made 
from juniper. Or Visnovka. a Czech 
cherry liqueur. The Japanese make O-Cha 
with a tea base. Clari а liqueur 
jaune made by the C ius, is not 
common, is trappist 
jaune, comes [rom the Fr 
The Mediterranean Alkermes is com- 
pounded of orangedlower water. spices 


s 


a 
who 


Absi 


no 


1 Medoc is a French 


and brandy. Cordi 


part of that country, near the Arctic 
circle. Mesimarja tastes cherrylike and is 


very sweet. Another sweet one is Beau- 


quer, a Canadian origination in which 


whiskey and maple syrup are prominent 


A surprising number of people who 
should know better believe that the 
German. Schinkenh. or Hamhager, 


is a liqueur based on ham, probably be 


cause the stone crock in which it's bot- 
ted carries a picture of a ham. Actually 
the stull is gin, but because its heavy, 
rather oily a 
ard London dry gi 


od wisely and agree if ye 
the subtle flavor of the fine Westpha 
jau-ham essence. It’s useful to keep a 
bottle of Schi, er around just for 


this deflationary ploy. 


“Have you girls ever had the feeling 
of being watched in here?” 


207 


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Обмен fer the Hey Bon 


(continued Јғот page 132) 


The beginning of the end? Ridiculous 
thought. Why, the trains were moderniz- 
alini and there 
Lelectric on the horizon. 
The golden age of railroading had only 
just ‚ we told ourselves. And it 
seemed so. 

The country could point with pride to 
the New York Central's Twentieth C 
tury Limited. probably the most famous 
train in all the world. powered by a loco 
motive described as a Hudson-type Class 
J3A, which developed a cylinder hor 
power of 1700 at 75 miles per hour, a 
completely air-conditioned beauty, all 
rooms deluxe, with a bar lounge, two 
diners, and an observation-lounge car. 
Vhis was the train for which the long red 
carpet was laid at G 
and at La 
was the train that терге 
ment of 81381000 


n invest- 
ts run of 


stops. 
there was 


That was luxury. and sp 
my to see to 


men, three ba; 
barber id. one Pull 
v porters as sleep 
The two dining cars had a cre 
This was a train that, in the 
10 years of its running, brought in more 
than 5142.000,000.. Where else could it 
go. with its constant improvements, but 
on to rand better things? 

There were other 
to challenge the Twentieth Ce 
for chat mauer, Europe's fabulous Train 
Bleu s. The Broadway 
the favorite 
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p te pt 


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of 24 m 


go with a типп 
The Pe 


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а low-cost. 
w York and 
all 


1 between 
i with reclining 
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unit diners with popularpriced 
и ıd refreshments. 

The Southern Pacific Compan 


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cushioned with soft sponge г they 
could be swiveled to [ace windows of 
exceptional width, from which position 
one could view the о Real, which 


linked the chain of c california mis- 
sions, the rich San alley, the 
i the Santa Lui moun- 


sheer cliffs and blue waters 
ifc Ocean for more than a 
hundred miles. 

Wherever you went there were fine 


wains to take you. The Louisville К 
Nashville offered the Pan-Americ; 
the Azalean bewi 


New Orleans, the Southland and Fla- 
mingo (Cincinnati to Atlanta), the Di 
Flyer, the Dixie Limited and the Di 
(Evansville to Nashville), the Jacksonian 
and the Florida Arrow (Louisville to 


Montgomery). There were others: the 
Piedmont Limited, the 
gler, the South Wi d many, 


many more, all з 

Even freight tra 
from the romance that pe 
4, as a partial в 
nes will show. An all-fre 
from Columbus to Chicago was 
The Big Smoke. Another that moved be 
tween Talo and Harsimus Cove was 
known, simply . Others bore such 
cuphonious designations as The Speed 
Witch, The Blue Goose, Cock of the 
Walk and The Cornuco| 

For every big line, there were hundreds 
of smaller оп irely independent 
railroads off wer service, The 


Doniph in Arkansas 
тап twice daily between Kensett and 
Searcy, a distance of six miles. The 


McCloud River line transported. people 
from McCloud to Hambone, a distance of 
32 Calilornia They ran on schedule, 
these tiny lines, and they made money. 

There was all of th cl electric 
around the corner ght, Sure, 
maybe the roads will Jose some of their 
charm with the new engines: and you 
knew you'd mi 
smell of the steamers; but a t 
wain would ever ch 


ched the march of progress. Railroads 


which pt the status quo for more 
than 20 y an to modernize, Passen- 
ger пай -conditioned, lines 


plings, rubber draft 
ignal systems and 


тгайгей атай 
Is. most of them. and to strcamlin- 
ag. They grew quieter and smoother. At 
rst the lace was u along with 
the build, but you got used to it. Of 


course you mourned for the smokestick 
nd that old black magic of the big iron. 
but you knew that all tl st bow 


before progress. You were happy when, 
little by little, the r п to recap- 
ture some of their nd luster, inch- 
ing back to the splendor of other years, 
with superluxury Cars complete with 


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209 


PLAYBOY 


arber shops, motion-picture theaters, 
doctors, radio wall-to-wall car- 
peting, maids and man 


shower 


strata domes domes, passenger 
cars with names like Silver Lake and 
Iver Arrow to suggest, if not to match, 
the Silver another gencra- 
ion. Progress h: 
had joined them. Now, avai 
everyone, were drawing rooms, comp: 
ments, double bedrooms, duplex single 
oms, roomettes and parlor car 

at one time the pinnacle of solid, stately 
elegance for the daytime rail traveler. 
For the dreamers, there were, still, the 
observation platforms, where а man could 
nd with his head in the wind and his 
hands about the brass rail and watch the 
miles clicking away. 

Then something happened. 

Out of the scrub pine and conifers, the 
railroads came to the bare top of the long, 
lovely haul: and the road ahead was not 
level. It sloped downward in a gently 
lowering curve, so gentle, so smooth that 
the passengers did not even know they 
were descending. Revenues, however, 
knew very well. 

Railroads had always been taxed high; 
that started when they were уоп 
powerlul and wealthy. But when business 
slackened, restrictive 
had been imposed upon them when they 
were indeed a monopoly, plus the high 
taxes, теша 


legislation, which 


losing as much as a million dollars a 
ilroads became 


ly the r 
atic. They cut servic 
denied. They cut lines. They 
cut what personnel they could. And they 
developed an inordinate passion for mer- 


seis, dropping branch lines, cars, offices, 
stations, sidings, yards and whole sections 
of track. In 1926, the railroads logged 
40,000,000,000 passenger miles; in 1960, 
with the population doubled, they toted 
up only 20,000,000,000, and recorded a 
deficit in passenger traffic that totaled 
nearly three fourths of a billion dollars, 
The Transportation Act of 1958, which 
allowed them to abandon service where 
losses each year could be proved, was too 
little and too late. 

Why did it happen? What caused it? 

For the movement of goods, the semi 
and the wuck wailer were responsible; 
for passengers, the automobile and the 
airplane. 

That a superior means of transport 
should develop and, because of 
efits, displace the old, is logi 
cannot argue that trains are still ideal for 
shipping freight. The facts prove other- 
wise. But what of the matter of human 
beings? 

t matter, T think, is debatable. 

uming the destination to be a conti- 
nent's length away, how does this genera- 
tion’s traveler choose to go? By car, most 
often. Unless he is in a hurry, he will gas 
up the family sedan and embark upon 
what he fancies will be a leisurely, inex- 
pensive, relaxing journcy. Of course, he 
fancies wrong. He will embark upon a 
journey fraught with danger, taking his 
chances on dogged highways and city 
streets, blinding himself to the extrava- 
gant price he pays for 
vehicle, for fuel 
depreciation, for the ine 
state of his nerves. He d 
hidden taxes; in f; 


“IPs [or a new drum.” 


after all, it's an automobile he's driving, 
isn't it? Now he's free, with freedom to 
go where he will, down that side road, up 
that hill, into that town with the funny 
name, and freedom to stop whenever and. 
wherever he wishes and for however 
long. 
Ideally, he's right; practically, it is 
nonsense. 
Today's highway traveler suffers from 
a complex which reveals itself in his com- 
ments at the end of cach traveling day: 
‘Covered 852 miles today!” (with pride) 
or "I don't understand it; we've only gone 
490 miles" (with shame). This comple: 
even more than the increased trafic con- 
gestion, robs him of his touted frcedoi 
He doesn't take that side road, he doesn't 
go up that hill, and he never finds out 
about that town with the funny name. 
The plane traveler is hardly better off. 
з the price in dollars is low, the 
се in peace of mind is astronomical. 
He pretends, this traveler, to t; 
fort in the istics, and will be 
after claiming that planes are the 
means of transportation ever invented, to 
quote them. “You're a lot better off in the 
sky than you are on the highway,” he will 
and he will be correct — statistically. 
But there will be an edge to his voice as 
he tells you of the x-million passenger 
x hundreds of 
ag of last 
ALL 
PASSENGERS PERISH!), or of the sweat on 
his palms when the big jet took olf with 
board: or perhaps he isn’t thinking 
anything at all. But the edge is there. 
Tell these people about trains and 
they will chuckle and ask if you are 
serious. Point out to the driver that he 
would save moncy in the loi 
һа ar more actual freedom; tell the 


miles flown and the mere 


traveler that if he is so fond of st 
he should s those regarding 
train t still, quote them: 


NOT ох 


theyre easy to remembe 
PASSENGER FATALITY 
TRAINS IN 10 YEARS. 
Advise them that on trains they can 
have utter privacy, if they wish it, or 
social intercourse; that they will be living 
in а sort of castle away from home, a 
room on wheels where they can rela 
read, sleep, do anything they want. Shout 
to them that a train, unlike an automo- 
bile or an airplane, moves in bad weather 
and good, it doesn't matter, that ice on 
the tracks is no hazard at all. Tell them 
that they now look at the fice of 


ON P 


America, view mountains without the 
clutter of billboards, look 
k alleys and back yards, across 


ficlds and valleys. Try to show them that 
for the first time they Gin reach their 
destination truly and completely rel 
if only they will ma ight adjustme 
in their thinking: relaxed, refreshed and 
ready to enjoy themselves. 

But don't try with any hope of saccess. 


s arc too de 


The complex the thinking 
100 rigidly formed. A train trip for the 
modern man would, after the first hour 
or so, evoke nothing. He would probably 
tap his fect with impatience, crack his 
juckles, read all the magazines, look at 
his watch, ruminate that if he'd only used 
his head and gone by plane he'd be there 
by now, and hate the idiot who suggested 
this outmoded ratiletrap. He wouldn't 
ijoy 
The principal reason is that modern 
man has never cultivated the art of 
leisure, which used to be acquired on 
trains and nurtured cver after He 
almost never finds himself alone with 
himself for two or tl y у 
never by choice. There is, he thinks, noth- 

ag profitable in it. That it could be the 
most profitable two or three days in his 
life is unimaginable 

That is why there is rust instead of 
frost on the steel rails. That is why 
the old depots and stations are boarded 
up and overrun with weeds. That is why 
Чез are disintegrating, why there are 
deserted spurs and decaying rolling 
stock, corroded wheels, boilers. tri 
signals, engines, towers and swi 
And that is why ghosts wa 
of ways the long high trestles, the 
k, curving tunnels, the empty. for 
ken platform out to the semaphore that 
isn't there anymore, waiting, hoping. 
listening for the melancholy wail of old 
One-O-Four as she rounds the bend and 
puts on steam for the grade. 

‘Trains that once were living things, 
pulsa d vibrant with life, exist now 
in the minds and hearts of those who 
knew them. We were profoundly moved 
by what we saw and heard and experi- 
enced, and so were whole commun 
whose characters were changed by the 
trains that stopped there, all the financial 
and personal roots of them going deep 
into local history and pride. 

For that future schoolboy, and his ques 
Чоп: What was a railroad, anyway, that 
it could mean so much? d 

The Pennsylvania consists of 600 for 
mer short lines, but railroads in foto are 
more than short lines, more than sections 
of track and engines and equipment, 
Railroads are songs the balladmakers 
sing: The Wreck of the Old 97, The 
Wabash Cannonball, In the Baggage 
Coach Ahead: songs we used to sing: The 
Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe and 
Chattanooga Choo-Choo and Alabamy 
Bound. A railroad was the smoker up 
front with its leather seats and strong 
smell, its floor etched with spittle and 
ity air blue with smoke, where beard- 
stubbled men in overalls rubbed shoul- 
ders with sports and dandies in loud 
striped suits with gigantic stickpins in 
their ties, where drummers and brakemen 
played а few hands of seven-up as they 
deadheaded back home. A railroad was 


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211 


PLAYBOY 


212 


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an influence, a maker of public opinion 
d it was drama, high and low: Under 
the Gaslight, The Ninety and Nine, A 
Mile a Minule, The Midnight Special, 
Forty-five Minutes from Broadway, 
Twentieth Century and The Honeymoon 
Express, It was The Great Train Rob- 


1 the consciousness of trains and 
ind are not likely to be forgotten, 
even if every foot of track is torn up and 
overgrown with weeds. 

Rut trains per se we forget. Today 
stress is placed on getting there, on being 
right, on the profit of a given action, on 
the IBM. Ut is an of weighing and 
mes id proving 

But a grain cannot be weighed or 
measured, nor сап anything about it. in 
terms of the hu equation, be proved. 
How do you reduce am experience to 
black and white and make it something 
that сан be to How do you weigh 
ог measure the ‚ pleading wail of 
in whistle heard on a 
or convey to somcone else what it means. 
or explain why it lured so many out into 
the wold, into trails west, into the big 
city? How do you equate the cle 
a brightly lighted diner and the delicious 
aroma of the collee being poured there 
by an immaculately attired waiter, or 
the way he sure-footedly rocks with thc 
train, like an old sea captain, as he 
maneuvers down the aisle with a full 
tray of soup bowls? And how, in the 
name of Prog te the 
slumbering quiet of a Pullman sleeper 
three in the morning with vou sitting 
the porter's quarters, looking out at th 
mysterious my ghis as the Pennsy 
rounds the big curve at Mtoon; 

What is disturbing about the disap- 
pearance of the railroad train. then, isn’t 
so much the train itself. but what it 
means and has nt to Americans, and 
lo people everywhere. When we think 
of Ше Overland stage, we also think of 
Indiaus and cowboys and what the stage 
meant to the people of the ОМ W 
When we think of the Mississippi Ri 
mer and sidewheeler. we envision 
slick-ha amblers. and 
wide-eyed belles wi arks. We 


. do you 


s and clipper ships. We identify 
mes and the people with them. 
rather (ham regarding the objects lor 
themselves. So what will it mean when 
the trains are gon 

It will mean the end of à 
course: but it will 
the kind of leisure 
tured men's souls [oi 
The elegance of r 
the conco: 


sive and rom: 
tic and. for a little while, cont It was 
a way of life. It had class, the very con- 


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tainers? Tru 


wip on 
you are not compelled, except by your 
complexe: 


the stew 


fat man, you can a 
return to the room, n 


crisp double-m: 


not “getting there” — traveling? Should 
we not be sad at its passing? 


a king, Servants stand ready to do your 
the bell. Your bed is made, your sl 


nificent, the scene 


п. 
per, but 
ic 
ing catapulted through the air 
nent to the 
? What is genteel and 
strapped to a seat, 


nd ch 


Айра 


are qui 


li 
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‚000 feet is enchanti 


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s no such thing as privacy 
shrooms. 

ide with a 
that 


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You can have a sec 
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Perhaps 
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ps you “will prefer the 
always the chance that 
rd will seat you beside that re- 
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the c 


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ng to read, or simply retire to the 
tress bed. 

1 this for traveling — 


What 


«9 


No dishonest tea € shed on the 


graveyard runs. Many stations а 
of life are represented in the common 


commemoration of the death of trains. 


т 
and the 1 


soon be history. 


hese people have come to love trains, 


Unhappily, these 


one-way trips have been occurring with 


incre: 


Ori 


i; frequency the world aroun 
In July 1961, 90 people on the plat 
Gare de l'Est boarded the 
її Express for the last time. It is 


not difficult to guess the thoughts of those 


roared across 


down the Danube, the shrill whistle sig- 


nder as it whipped past 
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213 


PLAYBOY 


214 


hee they remem- 
bered the oysters and the chilled wine 
served by waiters in blue-silk breeches. 
white stockings and buckle shoes: luxury 
beyond luxury. Perhaps, also, they 
thought of all the mystery. stories. that 
ere Wi about the Express, and the 
cters in those stories: the glamorou 
1 spy who wore mink and пош 
under it but her flesh; the one who 
lways carried a tiny pistol in her hand- 
the smooth diplomats who were 


wor 


n att 


hé case, 
full of secret papers, locked to his wrist. 
And the passengers may have wondered 
if the ghosts of these characters. were 
not, in fact, riding with them. Mostly. 
they were surely thinking: This is the 
end. This will be no more. The Orient 
Express, which made its first run. June 
1883, will run no morc. 

The splendor of old-time rail travel was 


not. however. confined to Europe, As far 
new how 
, which ran. 
to Los Angeles, с 
complement of 70 persons, includi 

h: lady's mai 
а public secretary. It provided a library. 
telegraphic ne ports, stock quo 
tions, tubs and showers. elecuic curli 
views of the pass- 
пе The breakfast 


from Chic 


ber, 


ing scenery along the | 


menu was тоге than. substantial, oller- 
1Г% liver sautéed, 
ned 


such delicacies as ¢ 
grilled French lamb chops co 
beef. roast beef, buckwheat cak 
dle cakes. Rocky Mountain trout 
French toast. 

An antelope dinner was offered on the 
Overland Limited. after. which 
gers would be invited to raise their wi 
dow sashes and take pot shots at 1 

All of the rolling stock then was 
nished t0 a ther 
mobile country ^ nai 


passe 


like 
s were 
from 
саса 
locomotives to the 
canopied observ 
tion platforms. 
There were cov- 
cred bridges. wa 
towers, hand-ope 
ated switches and 
bearded engineers 
in derby hats. The 
engines neverwore 
out, even alter as 
y as 50 у 
of sc 


J6 


vice: and 
those in the know 
maintain that the 
steamers were 
more dependable 
nd every bit as 
fast as the Imer 
diesels, The intro- 
duction of the dic- 


sd n retospect, to have been 
merely an economy move. Nonetheless, 
it took over, and that is when the luster 
began to tarnish. 

Who can forget the sto 
of conductors i 
and blue tail coats. the thunder 
that exploded from the tall st 
Taunton-built engines with crimsoi 
gold lettering on their t 
when stuion agent’ and 


seems, 


dispatchers’ 
offices buzzed with telegraph keys and bat- 


ies of telephones? АП along the 
of way it was freedom scented with co; 
smoke or wood smoke. and passenger 
answering the friendly waves of field- 
farmers and. barefoot childre 
у. locomotives were accorded 
the same respect as ocean liners. The 
were ladies, whereas the diesels, like 
airplanes. were neuter genders, Every- 
body loved the high iron with its proudly 
polished brass not merely the r 
people but everybody. I was natural. A 


steam engine, panting hoarsely as she 
climbed a grade. or breathing sweetly as 
she ran along an open stretch, or cry- 


ing in the night. a cry of pain or joy. 
depending. was no thing of metal. She 
was alive. 

She was also many thin: 
s she was the girl next door: on oth 
70 she an empress, her 
drive spokes firered, drive rods silver. 
the iron on her boilers iridescent-blue. 
the scrollwork on her engine cabs and 


On some 


And that was only right, for she was 
pulling the luxury palace cars. 

Those cars reached a point of ele- 
хапсе undreamed of before or afte 
They had rosewood pancli 
Hiers of purest crystal, velvet. hangin 
hi aperies. inlaid wood in sleep- 
ing apartments, drawing rooms and 
connecting staterooms rich with bro- 
cades, divans with cushions and hassocks. 
nd bevekedged mirrors. 


s, dı 


dressing rooms 


Anyone at all could enjoy these cars 
оп a crosscountry jaunt, provided he 
could allord to rent the ej 
And in that turn-of-the-century 
when Mr. Astor made his democratic 
remark ("Anybody with a million dollars 
is as well off as if he were richt”), no 
1 number could do exactly that. 
Less plutocratic citizens made do with 
privately owned railroad car. Almost 
"own today, the private car 
опе time the dream of every American, 
for it was the touchstone of success, the 
supreme symbol of having Arrived — аз 
opulent and luxurious as the 


splendidly over America’s rails 
of si id heartbeats. Any million 


who did not own at least onc 
succeeded in any real sense, But owner- 
ship was only the beginning. Опе had 
to have the best car: and this led to 
bitter compet пише was 
installed. and pipe org we paint- 
nid silver dinner services, 
marble plumbing Axtu ing murals, 
gigantic mirrors and costly upholsteries. 
The first airconditioned railroad car 
was privately owned; it belonged to 
Major Max Fleischmann, the veast ty- 
сооп. Mrs. J. P. Donahue's car, called 
the Japauldin, had solid-gold lighting 
fixtures, quartered oak beams that ran 
the length of the drawing-room ceiling, 
and a wood-burning fireplace. Ignace 
Paderewski had his own car, the General 
ley. and of course it cont 
American Presidents fri 
time forward rode gr on 
campaigns and official tours aboard pri- 
vate cars— but today, United States 
Railroad Car Number Onc, the Magel- 
lan, is rened to the Government by the 
Association of American Railroads for 
а dollar à year for the use of the Pre: 
dent. lt was built. during Franklin 
Roosevelt's time and is approximately 


as о! e as a stockbroker's office. Not 
that it matters: our Presidents travel 
nowadays by plane. 

The private car 
observation draw 
out onto the bı 
form. The rest of the 
several sleeping apartments, a salon for 
dining. accommodating eight or ten. a 
galley. pantry, store rooms, iceboxes and 
sleeping quarters for the crew. 

The ultimate in privatecar owner- 
ship was achieved during the time of 
George uld (Jay's son), the railroad 
tycoon. His quests were expected to ap- 
pear for dinner in full formal attire. 

For most of the more than 350 v 
nished masterpieces. the end came long 
ago on the rip track. Jay Gould’s fabu 
lous Atalanta, built in the 1880s for 
530,000. faded away a yardmaster’s 
k on the Missouri Pacihe in Ove 

Texas, The car that hauled the 
псе of Wales about the U.S. during 
his tour here їп 1924 is the home of a 
nsylvania coal-stripping gang. 
Only two private cars are in use to- 
for the pleasure and convenience 
of their owners: the Helma. home of 
Bruce Dodson. а Kansas City insurance 
nate. and The Gold Coast. owned 
and operated by Lucius Beebe and 
Charles Clegg. The Gold Coast has two 
master bedrooms drawing 
room, crystal lighting fixtures, Venetian 
mirrors, antimacassars and lopped and 
fringed draperies which re-create the in- 
terior of Leland Sta шота, 
built in the 1870s. 

It was George Pullman who engi 
neered most of the elegant p: 
but he left a broad stroke across the 
canvas of г ading when he developed 
the folding upper berth. Perhaps his 
sleepers were a departure from the Vi 
torian elegance of his previous inspira 
tions, but they were immensely popular. 
By 1916 the Pullman Company operated 


suaily included an 


7500 sleeping cars over 137 
and 260,000 persons occupied 
berths every year. 

The next change, as noted, was the 
replacement of steam es with 
diesels. We even tried to engender some 
d of affection for the oil caters, gi 

them nicknames like chugglebugs. 
ky dinks, galloping geese and bunga- 
loos: but it wasn't the same, The punka- 
punk, punka-punk of the diesel seemed 
too cfficient, too utilitarian, It had nonc 
of the warmth and majesty of the steam 
engines. The ful 
was powerful, but contemptuous: and we 
bitterly missed the stirring. spiritual cry 
of the steamers. 

And now the diesels themselves are 
going. and their contempt is honorable. 
That of the personnel of all but a few 
па 
the porters and conductors 
butchers and dining-car stew 
behav 


those 


еей sound it made 


news 
are 


jans. 


They are rude, inept. surly and 
tient. The best of them would have be 
dressed down and summarily fired in the 


old days. The same would happen to 
them today on the Twentieth. Century 
Limited. the Br Limited. the 
Super Ch and a half-dozen others. 
But these men probably wouldn't care. 
Their pride is gone. 

That is the unbearable loss to rail- 
road men, and they know it. Our loss 
is greater, but we don't know it. We 
fancy that we have rid ourselves of 
inellicient means of transportation. In- 
stead, we have rid ourselves of one of 
the two remaining refuges, one of the 
two sanctuaries where a 
treat from the maelstrom and become 
acquainted with himself. 

And how will ocean liners fare when 
the 2500-mph airship is perfected? 

How will man fare 


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(continued from page 96) 


from the industry for reading a book in 
the original rather than a story-depart- 
ment synopsis of it?" 

"For Christ sake, Rengs" he said, 
squinting his total displeasure, "when 
are you going to stop talking at mc as 
though my head was full of nothing 
but movie crap and your head was full 
of nothing but movie crap? I fought in 
Spain. Lincoln Battalion. Jarama de 
Morata front. 1 а kid off the tuna 
boats around Galveston, a talker, I shot 
my mouth off about the Moscow Trial 
framc-ups, the G. P. U. musclemen, the 
commissars tried to liquidate me twice, 
1 had to weasel out over the Pyrenees, 
get the point, I'm interested in Spain, I 
had stakes in Spain, I'm not just browsing 
the subject.” 

So, in the middle of our third week 
of family-type kinescopic empire build- 
g, Charles the Great and I returned to 
s dressing room to have some home- 
cooked vittles and to mull over the 
of the good lost war against 
1 Caudillo, the bemedaled Franco who 
had jousted us all, with the help of the 
Moors and the Messerschmitts and the 
Moscow musclemen, and without re- 
takes, clear out of the Iberian Peninsula 
and our dreamy youth. 

I had been secing Anson Luddy on the 
screen for 23 years, the full span of his 
movie career. When my eyes first en- 
countered his image, in the ycar 1940, 
he was a lean, lithe, panther-graceful 
k god who lazed around in blue 
jeans and raveling sneakers and spoke 
sullen monosyllables out of the corner 
of his Apollo-cool mouth. Today, 50 
pictures later and 50 pounds heavier, 
but still all muscle, he moved with de- 
liberate lumbering rather than an Olym- 

ss his сус» were harder and 
there were lines of care, of inside lacera- 
on that once unblemished and 
nything fist of a face; but he 


was still the rag bag of the populace's 
simmering fancies, who adventured on 


done ere forever goatdancing in defi- 
ance of gravity and clocks. How was I 
to accept him as a 17-year-old deck hand, 
or, indeed, as of any chronomcuric age 
or mundane occupation, crouching his 
way along the ma de la Morata 
front trying to dodge the very real bul- 
Jets of the all-too-real G. P. U.? It took 
too radical a stretching of the mind to 
vision Anson Luddy in any sweat not 
fashioned of Make-up's cunning glycer- 
ins. But there it was: once, withou 
too many poses, maybe, Pacoima 
Charlemagne had tried to lead an im- 
pactive life. And now, twoand 
decades later, he'd had me put on sa 
to spill his guts to. I was pleased, and 


more, to be of service. 1 am in favor of 
audiences for any Charlemagne who has 
something to say besides giddy-yap. 
Two weeks passed. Between takes, 
over lunch (aromatic delicacies for me, 
Metrecal or a dump of cottage cheese 
for him), strolling through the lush ar- 
boretums and nurseries of the ranch, we 
talked ourselves deaf, dumb, 
myopic, mostly about political 
“What else but politics is there to 
talk about?" he asked me one da: 


haven't seen you eat a solid meal 
1 came to what is laughingly called 
work. Are you trying to lose weight, or 
have you lost your mind?' 

ТЇЇ tell you about that," he said. “I 
don't have а weight problem, ncver did. 
Nope, it’s just that, after seeing enough 
compulsive caters in action, I lost my ap- 
реше. Not the compulsive eaters in 
Spain. Oh, no, this came later. I'm talk- 
ing about another category of compul- 
ive eaters altogether. The ladies. The 
little darlin's. The wolfers in high heels. 
They turned my stomach for good, the 
trencherwomen did.” 

ust which ladies would you have 
reference to?" 

“The first time I met them was down 
in Havana. After I got out of 5 1 
knocked around the Caribbean, working 
on charter boats, that's what 1 was doing 
when this Hollywood company came 
down there on location and gave mc 
my first movie job. Well, down there I 
was working for the rich playground 
people, and I met a lot of the frilly 
girls of the playful set, and, brother, 
they had big eyes, they had slobbering 
eyes. They didn't throw themselves at 
sc of what I was and felt li 
because T looked like some 
kind of athletic bindle-stiff ape to them 
and they got ants in the pants imagining 
what brutish delights I, the welde- 
signed animal, would lead them to, with 
my promises of steamy degradation and 
all-around beastliness. That make am 
sense to you, my getting spooked by all 
those lacquered tootsics zeroing in on 
me? Remember, I had just turned 20. 
I still had the naive that women 
dropped their eyes and guys reached for 
them. I wanted to be the tal E 
only the target.” Luddy had the air of 
а man imparting vital information to 
himself. "Yeah. Thats it You know 
something? 1 don't have the exhibitor 
personality. It makes me feel like a girl, 
to be scanned and appraised by the cy 
of the world. Her id now I make this 
confession, Rengs. Every minute he's be- 
fore the cameras, tough Anson Luddy 
fecls like a girl Because he's on the 
wrong end of the staring. But when I 
started to make movies they really stared, 
the la and their eyes got steamier 
and stcamier. My head was full of ideas 


and 
rang 
to talk about, but the wom 
their cyes up and down my carcass 
say, hmm, stop talking, stop thinking, 
you gorgcous hunk of stud, you соте 
and service me fast, Su stuff. Td be 
x down the street, full up w 
from Moscow and Peking and 
nd the Congo, and suddenly 
lies would be coming at me 
howling mob, grabbin 
amazing. the way they 
the middle — as thou 

end to an existence 


up a contempt for my body and its 
needs. That, yes, that's the exact point 
where 1 stopped cating, when | saw 
what slobbe levant appetites 
got worked up in other people, partic- 
ularly women, at the sight of my 
able frame. The more they slobb 
over me, sizing me up like a m 
more my own salivary glands dried up. 
For some reason I'm ashamed of that. 
Without being able to put my finger 
on why, Гуе got th would 
do me more honor if ГА lost my appetite 
in Spain, as a result of a, where 
heads were very much in contest. But 
the slobbe: other sort 
of Spain, maybe. Listen, Rengs. I'm not 
on call tomorrow, and I'm in the mood 
cific Coast Highway 
charlemagne out of my head and 
breathe some fresh ай. Want to come?” 


“The inspiring thing about Holly- 
wood is that you can start traveling in 
y direction and in no time at all get 


to not Hollywood. Let's 
play Pick you up at 
o'clock.” 


Tally came over that night with а bad 
case of the jitters, too keyed up to go 


ma, well-filled Capris, comi 
and all, to play Charlemagne’s sister; 1 
had liked her because she seemed so 
spectacularly unsuited for the role of 


sister in anybody's life; she had very 
quickly begun to play a refreshingly un- 
sisterly vole in m 


It was hard for her to sit still. Half- 
way through her main course, she got 
up and did а few fast hully-gully steps 
alongside the avocado trees: а bit lata 
when I brought out the Bing che 
she ate a couple and jumped up again. 
She was a gil whose ferments went 
directly to her muscles. I asked her what 
was wrong. 

“When I was running myself ragged 
uying to get bit parts,” she said with 
too-quick and overcharged laugh, "I 
was cool as the cucumbers in the Safe- 


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way and collected as taxes. Now the parts 
are coming, Гт on my way, and 1 
get to sleep without wo Doridens, 
the entire insect population of L.A. 
County scems to have taken up resi 
im my embroidered. pants. What's my 
ailment, no tolerance for improve- 


Nobody's born with the talent to take 
the good with the bad," 1 said. “Its 
something you have to learn. But 1 don't 
think the booze is going to help vou, 
аз a particular ind 3 

"Fm not a particular individual.” she 
said, refilling her glass. "FII drink almost 
anything. 

An hour later she was falling down 
drunk. She brought this 10 my attention 
by falling down in the middle of an in- 
spired boppy saraband and passing out 
cold with her head under a hydrar 
bush. 1 put her to bed. Next morn 
for all the bismuth mixture I forced ou 
her, her stomach was really paying her 
back. 

When Anson arrived, I introduced him 
to Taffy and said, "Sorry, but I dont 
think FU be able to po. Something's 
come up. 

“Mostly my dinner,” Taffy said. 

She was sagging on the 
sofa as though she'd bee: 


of the 

rained on for 

Anson studied her. 

angover?" he said. 

"Thats one thing,” she said. “Also. 

they boned me when I wasn't looking. 
“I think FII stay with her, Anson. 


1 
said. "She's feeling depressed about 
working regularly and somebody should 
see her through the crisis.” 

“Is it a big crisis?" Anson said. 


"Very bij 
lot of work, 

“Tn that case,” Anson said. "two might 
sce you through this better than one. 
You come with us. First off we'll stop 
and get you a pick-me-up and some 
and plenty of black coffee, and you'll 


Tally said. “I'm getting a 


feel your skeleton coming back. You're 


an асте Actresses often fed boned 
when their careers begin to go well. You 
must be an actress, to be having a crisis 
of good fortun: 

“You're both so understandii Tally 
said, “I think 1 will come along. just to 
even. I you're planning to have a 
pod time you'll be ding my 
10 restore the balance.” 

We went out Sunset in. Luddy's beat 
up Mark IV Jag. and just before we hit 
the beach, turned off at the Santa Ynez 
Inn. Two gin fizzes brought Tally back 
10 life; by the time she had wolfed down 
her eggs and part of mine (Anson held 
himself to VS уи, Фу с 


зл. ёте behind ii шетте 
When we started south along the coast 
she heaved a profound sigh, rubbed her 
belly contentedly, and. purred, “I may 
live. The prognosis is suddenly on the 


goodbyes, won't happe 
time you want 


Finally we stopped at the resta 
айу said. at М 


int 
тіпеапа for a drink Luddy 


T 


“Just m forwarding seemed moody as he looked around at 
you cold or just incognito? address." the tourists, shielding his face with his 
He had on blue jeans, his eyes were We proceeded to spend a meandering, 


shielded by the widest smoked goggles — knockabout day. We walked over to the 
Га ever seen, a bull poplin cap was wide beach at Venice West, bought a 
pulled down almost to his brows, the pall and threw it fitfully for a while. 
turüeneck of his rough straw-colored We headed down Sepulveda 
sweater was rolled up to hide his neck 
and his jacket collar was turned up over 
that. 

“Wail you get to be a big movie 
star, miss,” he said, "Just wait. You'll 
find yourself traveling around the cour 
try with a bı 
with two slits for you 


he muttered to himself. 
culam. Scuba diving, 
surfing, sleepin trailers, do-it-yourself 
tile mosaics, judo classes. UCLA ех 
at the new terminal at Inter sion courses in home ceramics. One big 
Airport to examine, first, the 10th-of- damned playp ing all of Southe 
mile-long mural along the corridor of California into a 
the American Airlines building, an as- gmp arca mankind's ever seen 
tonishing stretch of colored ting so exhausted, haven't got the emo- 
ranged їп angular Mondi tional capital to pay the entrance fee 
СЗ ILLAS Fun! Hit the road! Reach for the br. 


темаш E saucer sı ы 
: ‘ircuses, when bread won't stay on 
pended high over the ground on 


cometti con: stilts that w 
aid, "and if that themselves arcing technocratic objets 
makes enough discomfort for me, maybe Tart- At Palos Verdes we wandered 
II be able to ease off on the drinking, along the cool des bordering the 
v. Mr Anson, instruct me Do big fine Old Spani € at the center of 
movie stars wear their burlap bags town. Fart 
when they drink in public? How do they — peninsula we took а breather at Portu- 
their nourishment, through a guesse Bend to have a look at the 
Is there a special slit for the glass and  foliage-interiored W 
I've got to learn all these technical Chapel of the Swedenborg 
details because there are plans afoot to tion of Frank Lloyd Wright's son, whe 
make me a big star. In case I still want a modern dancer in flowing Isadora Dun- 
to drink, do T have to take my marti can robes was doing a bit of dramatic 
through a slit, through a si What miming to portray the story of Ruth. 
about the olives? They won't go through 
a straw, will I have ro put the straw 
and slide them through my cating 
slit or what?” 
Luddy’s reaction to this mild-enough 
jollying nything but mild. He 
swerved abruptly to the curb just north 
Monica pier, slammed on 
hit the steering wheel h 
with his ham hock of a fist, 
in his best Chief Justice voice 
the hell're you doing in the movies а 
What good's it goi 
morsel for the whole damned 


d 
es tO sec out of. 


over vour h 


elatedness, he 
ordered six tequila martinis in a pitcher- 
He drank straight from the pitcher. As 
for Tally, she w up her be- 
loved Scotch sours 


up in burlap, 


у" Tally said suddenly, “this is 
Marineland, right? Where they have the 


acres of fish," Luddy said 
old fish fancier; у 
V we go and look at our 


10 do vou 


being 
world: 

Tally looked startled. "Gee, Anson, 
she said, "some folks are nice enough to 
believe that I'm already something of an 
appetizing dish, and if 1 want to make 
ac of ic— 
They'll you ali Luddy blasted 
ош. "They'll crunch your bones between 
their bulldozer teeth and leave you a 
pile of calcium crumbs for the sire 
cleaners to brush off! The tastier you 
get to that great big admission-paying 
th out there, the less taste you'll 
ve for anything but to hide! You h 
He seemed to be addressing. his 
Don't offer them your hide on a 
silver platter! Keep some of it for your- 
self! There're careers that don't reduce 
you to roast beef in the window!" He 
became re that he was not alone 
with his monitoring fist. He looked over 
s welled with apology. ms = 
“Sorry. Thinking of personal matters. “How'd it go, Tarzan — did you 
Impolite to take leave of company with- finally tell that witch doctor off?” 


me 


PLAYBOY 


220 lightful. Anson's face w 


“By George, there's a man who knows how to lose!" 


We proceeded toward the main build 


ing. a great rounded suructure with out- 
side ramps that slanted upward to give 
асс d мө 


s 10 the second and th 
We c into a circus of gulp. 
This sprawled institution seemed de 
signed to demonstrate that protoplasm, 
however unlikely the form it takes, has 
опе trend and one purpose on this earth: 
intake, gorge, glu batten, 
slurp. Here, Greedygut was king. Up 
above, in the open pool that could 
be viewed from roof top. the whale 
maneuvered their sluggish tons, rolled, 
shimmied. flapped their i return 
for tasty tidbits tossed to them: porpoises 
leaped and gyrated in perfect synchron 
vation, hurled themselves through hoops. 
did piscatorial entrechats, for the rewa 
of slithery fillets. Down below, 
glass-enclosed tank. 
cels, sharks, octopuses, tur 
tortoises, unique in their sh 
united in the preoccupation with maw, 
obsessed with the urge to embladder 
whatever was outside the skin, to ¢ 
tonomize the other, swarmed 
the attendant who lumbe 
a divers helmet, scattering delicacies of 
shrimp and chopped squid as he went. 
the 


tered now 


Бо, or 


tor 


1 


sea 


100ted horns, pulled rowboats. slid down 
chutes, burped imo microphones, 
donned funny hats, spurned on in their 
antics by the trash fish their trainers kept 
10 their always ready mouths. 


enclosures, contorted: 
ad penguins did lumbering 


п response to the appetizers 


otters 


In other 
themselves 
soft-shoes 
held out to them by enrapt spectators. 


1 de- 
1g longer 


Tafly found. it all noteworthy 


1 longer. In fact, he scemed horrified. 
“Swill and swill some more.” he mum. 
bled to himself. "Try to digest those 
brass rings" —a statement that did not 
scem to call for a reply. 

We bad finally seen all the sights, We 
cross the grounds, toward 
the main building 


When we joined the crowd. alongside 
the mammoth circular glass tank. the 
thing happened that 1 suppose has sot 
to happen to every Anson Luddy sooner 
or later in place: hi 


1 public gatherir 


was recognized 

Not by the other visitors, though. Not 
at first. The man in the divers outfit. 
was down in the tank again, plowing 
his le ong the hull of 


len-legged way 


the old whaler's boat as he scattered. his 
prawns and cuttlefish patties to the 
ng wing sea creatures that fol- 


lowed him like storm troopers 
formation. This man came close 
glass wall, peered out, and spotted. An- 
son, who, for a moment, had forgotten to 
keep his Cracker Jack prize of a face 
covered. 

Ivs not every day you go to work 40- 
fect down in the briny, to feed fish to 
fish in an endless sort of gustatory dosed 
circuit, and suddenly come face to face 
with an Anson Luddy. A Luddy face 
aply does not show up during busin 
hours. It makes no damned sense, loom- 
ш up among the pinched. peaked nine- 
хобе mugs of your workaday clients 
the 


ud 
colleagues. It belongs to 
ght, when you go dreamy-slack and 
extraterrestrial over your buttered pop- 
corn or TV dinner. 

It must have been some such qualmish 
sense of categories toppling that Jed the 


womby 


fish feeder to sape at Anson, pressing his 
diver’s helmet against the glass: wall of 
the tank to get а better look. 1 could 
see his brown eyes bulging and burning 
as they took unbelieving inventory of 
Anson's features He looked like a 
grouper spread-jowed at Feeding time 

Anson did not notice the mute under- 
water drama taking place practically at 
his elbow. He busy thinking 
about brass t such engross- 
ing subject 

lt mystifics. that which 
fascinates you m 1 10 hit out 
at it. T won't lay it down as absolute 
law, but movie fans have been. known 
to mob their idol with such enthusia 
I him to the hospital: romantic 
densely populated. with 
lovers administering lethal potions of 
this or that hemlock to cach othe 
they hymn their mutual thralldon 
Mario seeks to g 
Conceivably the 
is taken as а danger precisely because 
it wields so much power, 
and drains will. freezes сусу, steel 
ig it is so rcassur- 
Tt must be more than a punishment 
meted out to the totalitarian object for 
its snaring and crushing magic. the blow 


was Loo, 


g5. or хопи 


how often 
kes you w 


ture 


amol 


must also help to establish that there is 
Hifesav 


g and facesaving space betwee 
and trancee, as witness the face 
that the victim is still autarchic enough 
to command his own muscles. 

This. at least, is the only sense 1 can 


make out of what the fish feeder. « 
next 
He began to thump on the glass wa 


ad, startled; so did 


by rubberneck: 


Anson turned his hi 
the 


The diver put his hands alongside his 
temples and began to waggle his finger 
из a playful parent docs when he makes 
funny Wd. Auson looked 
puzzled: he was thinking many-fathomed 
thoughts about the big modern business 
ob fun, and from the bottom of bri- 
смей sca, at th ing boat 
designed for 
frantically thai 
man was doing unmotivated 
routines at him. 

Now the diver pressed his index finger 
tinst the glass and began то t 
letters, writing backward. His 
er left smudgy, dim lines wherever 
it went, 

In a moment the message was spelled 
out for all to see: “ANSON LUDDY со 
HOME,” 

Strange spume from a contrived sea. 
The diver's eloquent fingers, which were 
now fluttering before his nose area in the 
cold gesture of screw you, made it 
y clear that he was directing himself 
10 a particular individual in the crowd. 


faces at а ch 


ow of a wl 
sinking, surrounded by 
ag сигир of the deep. 
comedy 


ver 


The onlookers turned. And there, im 
possibly, gloriously, was Anson Luddy, 
looming up an awesome head above his 

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neighbors, withi 
де, rending 

All the fema 
mumsies, teen 


spitting range, kicking 


esroundabout — grannies, 
. even. moppets — fixed 
widening eyes on their shining knight 
from the driveins that interlard the 
ile bases of the Southland; they 
ting eyes, and they broke 
as though in anticipation of 

"hey looked like so many 
ping to be fed. And. in refles 
this ocular salivation of their women- 
folk, the men and the boys began to 
smile, too, though less broadly, half. 
shamefaced, half-sullen. 

The mob radars relayed their high- 
speed messages back and forth, the te 
compacted, ird chemist 
of instant . the Spokes: 
man, the Proconsul, the Internuncio, the 


nd. by the w 


Minister Plenipotentiary, the Front Run. 
ner, was selected by se lot, feh 
his catapulting to hig shudder. 


ingly accepted the signal honor, and 
stepped forward. 


with the delicate 
ion, rather, 1 


have been in W gon on the night 
of December б, 1941; but he had а sly 
hunger and а peekaboo revelry about 
‚ too; there was in him a suggestion 
of much quiet lipsmacking, He was a 
lumpy. overpadded man. tall. his face 
like a blob of dough that had risen in 
haphazard bubbles, with the beefy hunch 
of a truck driver. His gray-green jacket 
LI demonstrative houndstooth, his 
open-neck sport shirt a slashed, silver 
shecned plaid, his рокае 
lined. with faint tan pinstri 
dals of the open-tocd and beade 
huarache type: there was à camera slung 
over his shoulder, there was awkward 
hesitation in his puffy lips and some 
obscure but wracking demand in his 
intent brown eyes. 

We'd better get out of he 


I whis- 


together the rapt congregation 
neighborhood was 
through the buildin 


iron filings captu 
as the clot of people grew, the 
kept coming on his thick huaraches. He 
was lipping a cerise Popsicle. He'd had 
itin and when he'd been mobilized 
and dispatched. 

He reached us, stopped, and broke 
n which was rather like the 
lip poising of the hyena the moment 


before snapping at carrion. 
“Hey, Luddy,” he said with a kind of 
reluctant, edgy homage, "my missus 


e a devil, а wonder, Shed 
your old flicks on the TV 


thinks you 
rather s 
than eat.’ 


PLAYBOY 


“Right, 
Anson said, 


Fm a antbobesitv drug 


The onlookers smiled some more 
They loved the idea of a democratic 
exchange between these two. My. | 


and Joe Nobody, deity and dink. 

1 sensed what Anson, who must have 
had plenty of experience in the manipu- 
Тац trying to do. 
If he bolted, his admirers would feel 
deprived, neglected. betrayed. His only 
chance, in his own mind, anyhow, was to 
let them have the satisfaction of immo- 
bilizing him for a moment, of forcing 
him into a bare minimum of civil chit- 
chat. 


of tensed crowds, w 


swear, 1 don’t know what it 
the man went impishly oi 


with 
“Put 
an old Luddy flick on the little bos and 
she's like nailed to the sola. the dirty 
dishes can grow worms in the sink, the 
beds can stay unmade till they mildew, 
the kids can sprout potatoe: 
stuff in their cars, for all she cares." 

He was perfectly ready to do the talky 

spadework for the mass assault on Luddy. 
He felt that Luddy had to be hit for 
being Luddy, a man 
light from other men. But he wanted it 
clearly understood that his own personal 
trademark was on the blow, along with 
the gang's anonymous onc. 
Well." Anson said, his face still not 
bothering 1o assume an expression, 
some people say that deanliness isn't 
nest to godliness at all, that it’s just а 
Freudian washing compulsion 
ness, too. И you don't bother to make а 
bed then it cant get mussed, maybe you 
could look at it that way." 

The man sensed the undertone of con- 
tempt without being able 10 grasp the 
spoken words one by one. He tongued 


nd Гап 


as 


who cut ofl the 


and neat 


his dripping Popsicle rellectivelv. 


"Wait. get my meaning, I'm not fault- 
ing you. pal. Im only making the point 
what a hold you got on the litle 
woman." he said without much humor. 


He fished 


ballpoint pen out of his 
jacket pocket and held up à Mari 
program. “No hard feelings, now, 1 just 
wanted vou to know youre the wonder 
boy around my house and home, they 
all go down on their knees to you, boy. 
What say you scribble your John Н: 
cock on here for the missus, hu 

“Sorry,” Anson said. “I have a policy, 
1 don't fus autographs, | don't make 
personal appearances, You scc how 

"How's that? Ain't you 
and now, and 
Ans, give us the old John Hancock." 
man held his 


ig here 


in't it personal? Come on, 
The 


program, 
something personal. sa 
happy days and all the best,” all right, 
hotshot? HII tickle her to her toes.” 
11 Florence to write to the studio. 
Anson said. “They'll be glad to send her 
à picture with an inscription." 
Dont give me that, Ans. 
some fan-letter scrvice where a couple of 
okLbiddy stenogs sign the pict 
sale, unseen by you: it's not the same. 
Come on. give the old girl the thrill of 
lifetime, Aus, sign on the dotted line, 
what's it cost y 
Smiles broad. 
part 
heads nodded iu the keening of the long- 
deprived rising up appetitiously. 
‘You're not trying to see my side of 
Anson said. "Suppose I give you the 
raph, that means if there's any fair 
play TI have to give it to everybody, 
and 1 can't just stand. here all day sign- 
ing programs. can 
a few aud turi away the rest, thats d 


They got 


es whole- 


ed, eyes expanded with 


But if D say yes to 


“I opened the gate last time.” 


‚ now, vou doit 
d of 


aiminating. Come oi 
want to be a party to the worst 
discrimination, do you? You know that's 
not the Amurcan Way. If your sister 
wanted to marry one of them, you 
wouldn't try to bust it up and put the 
Amurcan Way to shame, would you?” 

It was a rough turn Anson was taki 
Those last words were a reference to his 
tormentor's unmistakably Deep Dixie ac 
cent, and the crowd knew it, and the 
man knew it. 

“Don't see where you have to drag 
politics imo it,” the man said with a 
quick stiffening of lips and shoulders. “I 
ask in a neighborly ature 
and you're talki ics, what's that 


for a sign 


political 1,” Anson 
“Your asking for my auto 
graph is political because it’s а power 
grab, a mancuver to install you over me 
because you think the TV screen I 
stalled you and th 

refusing you the autograph is politic 


mc over 


because I don't believe in discrimi 
and the only autographs prepared 
10 give you are those of 1 Luther 


King and James Meredith, two very 
political names." 

What are vou, out of your head, 
Charlie" the man said unbelievingly 


This was not the kind of talk you expect 
from a movie star in process of being 
slyly mobbed. “I'm asking you for a lous 
s iting, not a soap 
box speech about your religion. 

“IE we're on the subject of religion,” 
Anson said, “isn't this a revival meet 
ing vou suddenly decided to hold along. 
side the fish tink? Egging on the sinners 


mple of your handy 


10 munch some communion out of my 
hide? You say you want to collect awo- 
phs, but what vou really want to 


collect, isn’t it some nice relics, my ankl 
bone, a hunk of my meat, a lock 
hair? No, 1 don't think FH let you and 
your friends divvy me up. Fm in a dilem- 
The reason a man in my 
let you lick his boots is 


m afraid I have to go now.” 
озу von don’t want to be that way 
the man said. His eyes were narrowing, 
He had placed his hand on Anso 
forearm. “Why dowt you just make à 
nice gesture for ОМ Flo and not bring 
up the big issues, fair enough?” 
The crowd. aware that the prel 
sparing was over, sensing a showdown, 
pushed closer. 
"Would you be 


Я 


xb enough to let 
go of my arm, friend?” Ansons face was 
dramatically emptied of drama. 
voice was casy and there was somcethi 
misleadingly dose to a smile on his 
“You want me to go back to Flo аң 
tell her that her honey boy wouldn't eve 
g the time of day?” The 
tightened his hold on Anson's sleeve. 


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“You want me to give her a slap in 
the face like that?” 

“Let go of my arm,” Anson 
as Jell-o. 

“1 guess you don't think much of my 
missus. And her drooling over you 
muscles all these years, how about th: 

I put my hand over the man's hand, 
wishing I had the good sense to want 
to be faraway, knowing I didn't. 

“You're not getting the message." I 
said, relishing the foolishness 1 was un- 
typically allowing myself. "He's telling 
you he's tired of your company. He's 

ing vou nicely to travel on. 
Yho appointed you some bum master 
s?" the man said. "Let go 


1, mild 


n stages,” I said. "You 
let go of him, Jim, and ГЇЇ let go of you, 
Jim. 

can handle this, Gordon,” Anson 


said. 


"d like to handle it with you." I said. 
“You take 50 percent of him and TI take 
50 percent of him, that’s the Amurcan 
Way.” Muscle Шу, but 1 was work- 
ing into a blind rage. 

The hand that was holding the 
autographless program slammed edge- 
first at m's apple, choking me 
and knoc at the same time. 
There wi 
ing from the crowd 

Anson regarded the man with a kind 
of ponderous entomologist's curiosity 

“That wasut а nice thing to do, 
said 

“You insulted my wife,” the man said 
with supreme logic. 

I was back at his side, saying, “You 
or by letting her marry а pig 


his lips and onto his raucous plaid shirt. 
The pressing crowd went, mmm-ooo, 
in a mass sigh of rapture. The best spec- 


tacles are those not on the program. 
“You want more autographs? 

"On the chin?” 
With his jerky sandals and his insipid 
he was a wall, 


1 said. 


nd my one 


make a career of scaling 
their feet on the ground: that was my 
inside plague, that 1 knew it but still 
the itch to climb. This kind of 
impasse breeds writers and other indoor 
mountain dimbers. 

Couple of bucky-coon lovers,” the 
said, eying both of us squinthard. 
The kind that put the dinges up front 
on the buses and at the lunch counters 
and there in Ole Miss, for the eyesore of 
it. Stirring up troubles and poo-pooing 
real folks’ homey tastes. 

With that, he drew himself tight to 


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223 


PLAYBOY 


make the lunge of a rag 
direction, 

“Good enough,” Anson said with what 
I took to be relief, "let's get down to 
it,” even as he was bracing his feet 13 
to take the impact and reaching for the 
oncoming hulk with both hams of hands. 

He absorbed the shouldering charge 
without budging. 

The man caved in, I guess because 
Anson's knee had slammed up against 
his chest. It looked like the wind had 
been knocked out of him. His legs were 
buckling and he might indeed have gone 
down if Anson’s fingers had not been 
gripping him firmly by the houndstooth 
Japels. 

The crowd, now swoll 
dred or more, went low- 
jectedly, aaaawr. 

"You want to cool off, fella," Anson 
said with almost a bedside manner. 

He stretched his hand to a 
haired thin woman who was st 
close by, completely absorbed, 
the triplescoop strawberry icecream 
cone from her spread mouth. He ran 
the mush cone down one of the m 
checks and up the other, then ovi 
around his bushy hair, depositing it final- 
ly on his head, pointed end up, like a 
dunce cap. 

“Better wear something on top," An- 
son said with concern. “If you cool off 
too much you might catch cold 

The crowd shuddered from one end 
to the other, with an uneasy shifting of 
its centipede feet, and went, zhzhzhzh. 

"Now," Anson said, "you ready to 
travel? Like to take a little trip?" 

The man was catching his breath. He 
swung one arm back and aimed a rabbit 
punch at Anson's liver, but Anson's free 
hand was there in clephantine readiness 
to block it. 

“We don't want any of that," Anson 
said. "We can't go around hitting people 
as though we were their equal 

To make this point, Anson chopped 

Im edge at the man's gullet, exactly 
п had chopped at me. Hc 
gasped, glugged, growled feebly. 

"All packed up?" Anson said. "Ready 
for that t 

He heaved the man high by the lapels, 
dangled him once in a practice swing, 
and let his hulk fly off through the 
in easy orbit. He landed yards а 
He sat there, head down, 
puzled. One minute youre 
jaunty-jolly for autographs, the next, 
you're wearing a sugar cone for a hat. 

So the preliminaries were over. The 
troops that advanced for combat were 
without exception women, of 
and varieties. Big and little, 


ng bear in our 


п to а hun- 
voiced and de- 


broad- 
beamed and scrawny, high-heeled and 
Wedgied, they swooped down on Anson 


while their 


shamefaced тено kept 


224 their distance. It is always excruciatingly 


embarrassing for men to sce their women 
go amuck as they swarm with pluck- 
ing, plowing fingers 
counter. Anson Luddy was, for the mo- 
ment, their bargain counter. Their lusti- 
ness implied that their men were no 
bargains. 

They advanced swinging handbags, 

carryalls, parasols, cameras, binoculars, 
raincoats, even shoes. Under this relent- 
less age, Anson went down, and a 
second later, so did I. As I rolled from 
side to side to escape their windmilling 
hands, I caught glimpses of Anson: there 
many more of them bent over 
him, and they were really working him 
over. He had his hands up to his face, 
uying to protect his venerated features 
from their venerators. 
In very short order the few women 
nd teenagers who had deigned momen- 
tarily to acknowledge me аз а target 
worthy of a sideswipe had abandoned 
me to move in on the Anson Luddy 
glory-day kill. 

1 sat up, fecling a bit out of focus, 


were 


shaking my fogged-in head. 
Something improbable caught my 
eye. It was the fish feeder in the tank, 


who still had his helmeted head. pressed 
against the glass wall to follow the mar- 
velous fray. He seemed to be doing some 
sort of dance, a bathymetric tango, jerk- 
ing his members from side to side 
fast as the water would let him. Each 
time his body reversed its rotational 
movement, his hands made energetic 
pugilistic gestures. He looked like a 
grouper on the gorg 

My head cleared. ] moved my eyes to 
the turmoil around Anson's flattened 
body. Now I saw what the end-all of the 
whole operation was, how the adoration 
of mo ns gets localized and pin- 
pointed їп the infighting. 

The women had given up their broad 
swiping movements and were now rum- 
maging in, feinting at, picking over, 
Anson's groin, cach trying to shoulder 
the others le, each 
lishing her exclusive squatters 
these hallowed precincts. It’s all very 
well to knock out the enemy's outposts. 
That's part of the softening-up process. 
But ultimately you have to strike at the 
other guy's G.H.Q. or you're not cam- 

igning seriously. 
curled into a wretched ball, 
ving ineflectually to shield 
his middle. The marauding fingers tore 
indifferently through them. I couldn't 
get to him to help, I couldn't get near, 

1 thought: let the wars of the future 
be fought exclusively with weapons th: 
aim at the male privates and very quicl 
» for the first time in hur 


w 
contest between т 
each gent will be so preoccupied with 
ng to defend his most precious and 
delicate possessions with his hands that 


he will have neither the indination nor 
the instrumentation to poke at 
mybody else. 

We were saved, finally, by the guards. 
A contingent of them arrived on the 
scene and, one way or another, sweated 
de. I was right 
They managed to heave 


d them. 
the mob bac 

Then Гай mbling toward us 
nd yelling, “Quick! The side door!” 

I helped Anson to his fect. His belt 
had been torn apart and his pants were 
half-off, He fumbled with them. 

The minor adjustments can come 
later,” I said. 1 pulled him toward the 
side entrance, through a path which the 
guards had cleared. 

At the door, he jerked away from us 
and stopped. He was panting, his eyes 
were in a blaze. He surveyed the riot- 
ing grouper-faced women, still in a lusty 
freeforall with the guards, with a 
sweeping wildness. 

He bellowed: “I only cook the slop, 
you cat it! T spit out the idea of Cellu- 
loid at the end of the working day but 
you go on wolfing the stull right through 
the night and scream for bigger help- 

igs! Your bellics are full of Celluloid! 

When's the last time you had solid food? 
You think you're going to get any nutri- 
tion, making a meal out of me? 

They pressed against the guards, 
mouth-manifesti ining to get at 
their main course again, determined to 
bite their initials into the hide that 
was treacherous enough to crease with 
use. 

"Want their adoration?” Anson panted 
at Tally. “Learn the going price! Keep 
track shoes handy, girl! Pray for no 
trafic! 

"Hope ГИ be a good distance runner!” 
Taffy breathed back. Her eyes were wide 
with the future, when she would be a 
ranking brass ring: no marginal notes 
discernible. “One thing sure, never was 
a sitter! Let "em chase me! When Im 
my own audience, damned if I don't 
chase myself! All over the place!” 

Iw istening. I was studying An- 
son Luddy with fasci Now, ever 
now, with the jawers still howling, a 
slowed and slacked Charlemagne cor- 
nered in a most family-type Jarama and 
ing -bearing Moors and 
daled Vishinskys who were no respecters 
of Metrecal diets, even now he had his 
gers plowing through his golden locks 
n ellort to restore the carefully di- 
sheveled Luddy look: he was not at the 
wrong end of the staring: he cared about 
how he showed up in the eye of the 
beholder: he was tor. 

"Lets go somewhere and comb our 
hair!” I said, intending no slight to any- 
body's bents or dedication: 

1 pulled at him. We ran. 


Let 


ion 


came 


in 


“You're going places, Baby — my place, the 
producer's place, the director's place... !" 


225 


PLAYBOY 


226 Playboy Clubs 


DISNEYLAND FOR ADULTS (continua rom paze 160) 


"The Chicago Club (116 E. Walton St). 
opened to members in February 1960, is 
the prototype of all the Clubs and shares 
with the New York Club the distinc 
of having one of the two VIP Rooms. The 
Miami Club (opened May 1961), located 
on a palm-studded 10,000-square-foot cs 
tate at 7701 Biscayne Blvd., hits its own 
private docking facil s The New Or. 
leans Club (opened October 1961), set in 
the heart of the French Quarter at 727 
Rue Iberville, just off Bourbon Strect, 
тай s old-world 
tradition with its decor of c 1 chan- 
deliers, shuttered windows, fountains and 
slate floors. From one лм. till the wee 


hours, a Dixieland band keeps this Club 
jumping. The elegantly and claborately 
appointed New York Club (opened 


December 1962). set in the heart of 
afe-socicty section at 5 
world’s most Lavish 
night club. The Club once in will be 
the exclusive domain of its members, as a 
recent court ruling (pending appeal) h 
established that facilities may be 
stricted to keyholders only. 

So much for the past and present. As 
for the future, Art Buchwald. comment- 
ing on Playboy in his column, wrote: 
"Today girls, tomorrow the world.” He 
wasn't kidding. although columnist Bert 
Bacharach, writing in the Los Angeles 
Herald Examiner, was pulling someone's 
rabbitfoot when he arehly inquired, 
“Will there be anch of The Playboy 
Club in Bunny Falls, Алов, 

No. Вен. Bunny Falls, despite its 
charming name, hardly fits our requi 
ments for urbanity, but rest assured that, 
within the foreseeable future. the Playboy 
key will open Club doors in virtually 
every part of this country. as well as 
major cities around the world. 

Our first inte Bunny hop will 
take place late this year, when the Mani 
Playboy Club will be opened to key- 
holders. Located in the penthouse of the 
E. L. Katigbak Building on Mabini St, 
the Club will pro: snificent view 
ol Ma y part of 
the world will be given the red-carpet 
treatment by specially trained. Bunnies 
chosen from our domestic warren. and 
keyholders will enjoy. in addition to the 


re- 


nation 


у. Members from д 


m ib menu, exquisite selections 
of exotic local de o the 
Manila Club will be a series of four pri 
vate rooms, available for small banquets 
and business meetin 

The nest international Club will be in 
Toronto and should be ready by the 
middle of next year. Sites are currently 
being surveyed in London, Paris, Rome 
and other major cities, and 
pla 


ed for 


Mexico City, Honolulu, Tokyo, San Juan 
and many of the major cities of South 
America. 

The most spectacular of the domestic 
Clubs, scheduled for early 1965, will be 
in Los Angeles. The “Disneyland” con- 


cept will be carried. to its ultimate ex 
u 


me here for, in addition to the Club 
cilities, the $10,000,000 Los Angeles 
complex will include a swank hotel, ofice 
suites, swimming pool, shopping arcade, 
barbershop, health club, cibanas, private 
banquet and conference rooms. Almost 
alf of the hotel's 900 rooms will be 
the luxury c iy of these will 
be the last word in Lavishness, with bi- 
level 1 room-hedroom accommodit- 
с walnut decor, built 
and bars. (Кє 
© has already reserved 


sts.) 


из. and n 


Playmate Bar (complete with underwat 
window fora better view of bikinicd Bui 
n the pool). VIP Room, 
Playroom, Playpen with Piano Bar and, 
op the 1Фмогу hotel tower, a 
glassenclosed Penthouse showroom, with 
the most breath-taking view of the city i 
all of Los Ang The Cartoon Corner 
will be expanded to include an all-night 
colleeshop Гог stiy-up-laters and there 
will be a heliport on the roof for casy 
transportation to and from the Los An- 
eles Airport. 

San Francisco will have the first Playboy 
Club for California members. however: 
patterned after the swingin 
Chicago and St. Louis. but with an а 
tional clegance all its own, the San Fy 


cles. 


the next fe 


timore, Boston, At 
lanta and Kansas City: 'otiations are 
Mi 


ncapolis 
in the coming year. Prospects for it Play- 
ib Ski Lod: the East and a 
у Ne- 
vada plans аге 
also bei Playboy Club 
Barber Shop. Steam Bath and Men's 
Shop. adjacent to the Chicago Cl 

Tn the not too distant f 
will he able to enjoy the warm welcome 
of familiar Playboy Club surroundings i 
most any major city to which they t 
— both here and abroad. But the cspand- 
Club facilities are just a part of the 
g news for Playboy Club member 
next month. keyholders will be- 
n receiving an enter new maga- 
ТТР = The Playboy Club. Ma 
sine, with all manner of features, news 


ort i 


d Playboy Club Ri 


he 


abers 


re; me 


excitin 
Starting 


zine, 


a- 


bout the Clubs, new 
stories on the 
Bunny ot 
the Month pictorial), show business per- 
ties who are playing the Playboy 
Club Circuit, and the members. them- 
selves. The Playboy Club ntroduc 
ing a Credit Card for all keyholders ( 
addition to the official silver membership. 


and information 


а regul 


acilitate more cfi- 
in the 
valuable source 
for our members 


g of ordei 


Clubs. but will soon be 
of addi 


for hotel accommodations оу 
Club cities, international travel, the 
purchase of. Playboy Products, ts, ctc. 


ter Member s is still 


hip in 


only $25 (the Standard Membership is 
550— though present. pl all for in- 
creasing it to $100 in the Chicago n 


the near future and elsewhere later). To 
help pay for the continuing Playboy Club 
expansion. an annual Service Cha 
S5, comparable 10 that charged by 
the major creditcard companies, will be 
introduced after the first of the year. 
Because of the special success of the 
St. Louis Playboy Club, which is a fran. 
chise owned by nearly 100 of the St. Louis 
Lin order to perm 
rapid expansion of the Playboy Club 
operation on a world-wide basis, Pub- 
lisher-President Hugh M. Hefner has 
announced plans to a make a limited 
of Club franchises available to 
ness and 
1 cities. 
(Club franchises were originally granted 
for а bric! period when Playboy Clubs 
International first commenced operation 
in 1960, but were discontinued soon after 
it became apparent how extraordinarily 
successful the Clubs. w ng.) 
Hefner indicates that franchises will not 


ica 


members. 


ta more 


number 


responsible members of the bu 
nal community in cert 


profe: 


except as 
senting a li 
and bu: 
demonsti 


ally 


of a Playboy Club there. In this way. the 
cities whose men of means and influence 
are most interested in having their own 
Playboy Club. aud most apt to strongly 
support it once it is there, will be the fist 
to have the Clubs. 


For further information on. member 
ship. franchises, or any other aspect of 
The Playhoy Club operation, write Pla 
hoy Clubs International, Inc., Playboy 
Building. 232 E. Ohio Street, Chicago, 
Ilinois 60611. 

Ba 


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PLAYBOY 


228 


DAVID MERRICK 


director and everyone mad.” 

Still, Merrick is not just a money 
er who leaves creativity to his hired 
ds. Once the director has had. 
opportunity to shape the show, when it is 
nearly ready for tryout, Merrick will 


move in and begin making suggestions. 
In doing this, he reveals a keen knowl 


edge of the details of the theater world, 
He knows which painter in which design 
shop is best at painting certain kinds of 
sets. He knows the physical specifications 
of dozens of theater buildings in Europe 
and the United States. He i 
his shows lool ive, that the st 
аз he puts it, "dressed." Merrick had ihe 
back wall of the set for Oliver! pa 
five times until he had exactly the color 
he thought proper to the mood of the 
sho 
Such dedicated аш 
one of the 
tion is as cleanly ellicient as it i 
val! once closed in Boston on a 
night and opened again in 
cisco Mond. ight. Any 
producer would have allowed a week or 
more to be lost in transporting his show 
across the continent. Merrick sh; 
days and dollars olf the operation. Н 
old Rome, the compos ms it up by 
saying, “He organizes the whole thing. 
He gets the most out of it. He's got the 
best backstage men in the business and 
he keeps them.” 

To keep the best men in the business 
Menick leans over backward. He shifts 
his people Irom one show to another to 

k ibat they ployed all 
me. On ope many of 
his employees receive personal telegram 
or notes from him, thanking them for 
their contributions to thc new show. 
Often. th fis — silver cigarette 
ates to some 
Veteran em- 

Mer- 

“ few 
producers extend to their май. In Mer- 
rick’s case, this is an opportunity. 

But there is another quality about 
Merrick that keeps his team tied to him. 
‘There isc Leo Herbert, Merrick's 
chief prop man, зуу, “The schedule he 
gives us is rough. But you don't feel like 
ing your life. If Um going to do 
this as а job. I'd rather have spent th 
prime of my life with a man like Merrick 
who the prime man in the theater to- 
his kind. ol esprit. de corps ex- 
is much about Merrick's success. 

Backing Meriick's 
good business sense is his flair for oll 
adve ng and. publicity, He is the tli 
ter's most freewheeling flick, alert to 
opportunity for kicking up comment or 
controversy. Merrick 


tion to de 


on 


(continued from page 150) 


tactics are cheap, even. They lack dig- 
nity. But they work.” These tactics are 
best illustrated by what Merrick did to 
promote Fanny. 

Merrick began by looking up а burly, 
bearded ballyhoo artist named James Ste 
ling Moran (profiled in PLAYHOY, Septem- 
ber 1961). Moran's oddball specialty was 
—and still is— the engineering of hoop 
His talent for extravagant nonsense 


appealed to Merrick's own peculiar taste 


for theatrical 
the two men mapped out а сатр 
has since become legendary. One 
fter the play had opened, Mor 
motley collection of his friends stole i 
Central Park lugging a 
"The next morning someone "discovered " 
that Lugerthandife nude statue of 
Nejla Ates, the Turkish belly dancer in 
Fanny, bad been placed atop a vacant 
pedestal im the park. The statue lured 
droves of newspapermen, photographers, 
1 1V reporters to the park, few of 
whom failed to mention Fanny in their 
stories, 
Stunt followed stunt, and the fanfaron- 
ade for Fanny helped turn this show into 
a stunning success, setting a pattern for 
the future. Now Merrick be; 
опе show after anothei 
panied by the wildest and noisiest bally- 
hoo campaign Broadway had experienced 
in a generation. For his next production, 
The Matchmaker, Merrick and Moran 
imported an English taxicab and rented 
an orangutan. They put the orangutan in 
the front seat, inconspicuously chained 
in place so it appe the 
vehicle. Moran himself climbered behind 
the real steering wheel in the back seat 
and proceeded t0 drive it round Мапа 
tan. Startled New Yorkers did double 
takes at the si chaullenr, 
As they rubbed their eyes in astonish- 
ment, they saw a sign on the cab that 
proclaimed: “I am taking my mister to 
The Matchmaker.” 
No stunt was too Пас 
kookie for Merrick. 
Juliet he fell back on a hoary Hollyw 


mmickery, and together 


e heavy object. 


red to be drivi 


standard. а phony talent hunt for 
ingénue. For The World of Suzie Wong 
he threw a hu own. 


distributing s 
of the show printed on it —1 
al with local mı 
e scrip as Te ‘or Look 
r Mer ıd Moi 
woman to leap up out 
wb slap an actor in 
the The ı chimed noisily 
that she had been infuriated by what 
the actor was saying. Later she admitted 
she'd been paid $250 by Merrick to do 
the jo 

When Destry Rides Again, a mus 


vin 
chants 


viously 
cept t 
Back in An; 
arranged. for 
of the audiene 


face. woni 


Western, opened, Merrick filled the stroet 
outside the theater with cowboy 
pounding the confusion by dumping vw 
dust and horse manure in the gutter. For 
Irma la Douce, Merrick attracted attention 
ving a squad of men appear on the 
п Prne-postered. piss 
around with them. 

When Major Gordon Cooper, the as- 
tronaut, came to New York recently to 
be honored by a ticker-tape parade, Mer 
Tick reasoned that the press would Ix 
ћи for something a bit different 
from the routine photos 


com- 


ad speeches 


phone, he inveigled Major Cooper 
perlormance of the aptly 
titled comedy, Stop the World — 1 Want 
to Get Off. The space hero's attendance 
was duly noted in Life and hundreds of 
newspapers around the nation, 

Space, as ter of fact, is something 
Merrick knows all about. "Em the na 
tion's leading space thief," he proudly 
rims 
Anyone who has managed to manipu- 
lite the press as effectively as Merrick 
s is hound to develop some scorn for 
it. Merrick's contempt is boundless 
nety-eight percent of what is writen 
about me is crap. lies,” he says. “Pm 
reedom of the press. It's been 
mightily abused. T don't give a damn if 
anyone writes about me. All I care about 
is a forum to sell my product, Given a 
Га repeal that. part of the Con- 

that deals with freedom of the 
There's invasion of pr 
isquotes. Don't 


pres. dele- 
tions, n 


freedom of the press.” Merrick's attitude 


is summed up by à note he once s 
unfriendly newspaperman: "You haven't 
тїстї me in 10 days. What's hap- 


ıt to an 


k sees the press as a 


against him. The p 
The Establish. 
pinnacle sits the G 


New York Time says 
Merrick, “is always a first-class object for 
my anti-cstablishment. feelings. It's just 


t from my office 
ful, 
эша». 
Avenue 


100 yards down the st 


and just because it's so big and pow 
пу pyrotechnic i 
n 8th 


it brings out all 
At 
hardware stores buy 

But il Merrick is merely hostile toward 
the press, he is positively vitriolic about 


es 1 find myself 


ties. Theater eritis. as he sees them, 
are а cabal of cutthroats whose sole ob- 
ject in life is the dismemberm of 
David Merrick and all he stands. for. 


Merrick’s point is that the power of the 


is overeen 
th 
we picked up and bro; 


cisms сам by 


radio and EV: the morning critics have 
some ton: the news 
services broadcast the first opinions by 


the time the afternoon critics are printed, 


and the show is either accented as a hit 
or a m There are 21 critics. in 
a 1 have had 


ich 17 of these critics liked, but 
two of the all-important morning, critics 
didn't. I was dead unless І went to work 
and fought to beat the handicap. Stop 
and figure, Two judges out of 21 can 
desuoy you. Why, a murderer gets a 
better deal than that from a jury of 12.7 

Not being the kind of fellow to take 
such odds lying down, Merrick has tried 
10 turn the tables on. them by making 
the critics, against their will. pawns in 
publ game. The ski ч 
began long аро. In Toronto where he 
went to help launch the tour of his show 
Do Re Mi, Merrick made news by an- 
ig boldly that “Toronto has the 
in North America.” In 
Boston, Merrick tried to ban the Globe's 
second-string critic, Kevin Kelly, from the 
opening of Subways Are for Sleeping. “I 
consider Mr. Kelly petent to act. 
as a critic,” he announced. In New York, 


his ow 


nounc 


three worst critics 


incon 


Merrick tangled with Walter Kerr of the 
Herald Tribune, launching a one-m 


campaign d 
“Hig Sard 

When Oliver! opened, Merrick took to 
radio to berate Kerr, terming him "hor- 


ribly dull” and suggesting that 
astead of swallowi 


read Kerr 


pills. He later sent Kerr a photo showin 
lines of ticket buyers queued up in front 
of the Oliver! box office. Kerr replicd 
with a telegram that sa тик 
PICTURE OF YOUR MOTHER 

Another time when Merrick was dis 
d by Kerr's treatment of oue of his 
he had the full text of a favorable 

by the New York Post's critic 
set im the type and 
format of a Tribune review. He then 
bought space in the Trib and watched 
happily as the papers ай department 
failing to note its significance. ran the 
ad on the drama page. a direct slap at 
Kerr. This was merely a windup. how 
exer, for à much more widely publicized 
ı which Merrick tackled all the 
critics at once. 


| "i LOVE 


review 
Richard Watts. 


stunt 


When Subways Are for Sleeping 
opened in December 1961. the seven 
major New York critics gave it three 


sharply negative reviews and four rang 
ing from mildly critical to tepidly posi 


Howard Taubman of the Times 
said the show “stumbles as if sull: 
from somnambulism.” Ker said it 


moved as иу as "the holiday traffic." 
The play, he wrote, was "limp" and 
lacki -up-and-go.” Others called 
the play “disappointing . . . feeble. . . 


without distinction," and so forth, But 
on January 4, 1962, in the first edition 
of the Herald. Tribune, а full-page ad 


appeared entitled “Т out of 7 arc ecstati- 
cally unanimous.” Beneath this breathless 
headline ran the names of each of the 
seven critics. Next to Taubman's name 
were the words: “One of the few great 
musical comedies of the last 30 years, one 
of the best of our time.” Next to Kerr's 
name the words. “What a show! What a 
hit! What a solid rang out. Other 
comments ranged from “Best musical 
of the centum 7. . fabulous... a knock- 
out..." to "as fine a piece of work as 
our stage can be asked to give us 


The ad did not lie. It did not say 
that the Howard Taubman, or the Wal- 
ter Kerr or Richard Watts quoted in i 


were drama critics. It merely made it 
appear that the comments came from the 
gentlemen of the press. Merrick’s press 
agents, on orders from him, 1 
metropolitunarea telephone books for 
people bearing the same 1 
спе The Walter Kerr quoted in the ad 
was a man in the housewares business, for 
mple. The Howard Taubman was 
audio-equipnient salesman, The Rich- 
ard Watts was a printing supervisor 
Merrick had rounded up his squad ol 
pseudo critics, wined them, dined them. 
and sat them down to watch the show 
Later his press agents had “helped them” 
with their statements. 

Merrick had submitted the ad to the five 
New York and had 


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cre but at the Trib, 
depart 
rlier trick ad 
in. When 

at night 
1 edition. 


turned down everyw 
where the same sleepy advert 

Howed 
i now soofed 


we ul 
with a copy of the Tribune's fi 
Sydney Chaplin recalls. “His eyes were 
cing. He was delighted.” The trick 
drummed up more publicity for the play 
than almost any other in his career, The 
Trib itself was reduced to running а 
red-faced story about it 
devoted three quarters of a page to chuck- 


Time magazine 


1 thought the ad would stir things 
up." Merrick chortled. 
the things it stirred up was 
the ire of the Better Business Durcau 
which denounced the ad as “deceptive. 
confusing to the public and. blatantly 
misleading," To which Merrick replied 
“1 never heard of the Better Business 
Bureau. Is that anything like the Diners 
Clu 

This stunt, howeve 
comic prelude 
Merrick's conflict with the critics. For 
а long time his most caustic comments 
had been reserved for Taubman of the 
Times. He once publicly. urged Taub- 
vocational guidance" An- 
d to place an ad in 
the Times pleading "Bring Back Brooks 
Atkinson." When Taubman panned 
Subways, ick fired olf a telegram to 
him s: ulations on. finally 
expressing an opinion.” Irked by another 
Taubman review, Merrick had it trans 
lated into Greek and published it in his 
ads. 

The humor drained out of this cam- 
paign, however, last April. when Mertick 
turned up on the NBG Tonight show 


merely a 
nus episode 


moi 


man to get 
other time he 


Me 


rk benches, and. 
the middle of the 


other misdemeanors. He 
read a prayer asking for man’s 
removal, and displayed a photo of a 


diapered baby with thc “Time 

This tasteless perlorm- 
1 deadpan, we 
AC one point Johnny Carson, 
sked Merrick: “Do 
you and Mr. Taubman ever speak at 
Merrick replied: "No, I'm af 
t. He was invited to come over he 
tonight but refused.” What made all this 
even more graceless was the fact that 
Taubman had, „ not been invited 


minutes. 
host of the show. 


to appear. 
nlike per- 
ized 
те run wild. In an un- 
«f apology to 


he had let his toi 
usual retreat he wrote a 


Ve stu- 


н representatives may not be ready to 


retire by 


ic, but they will have picked up 


same extra leor by promoting the 


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артап and admitted publicly: "I got 
vied away. The situation on the To- 
night show got out of hand and ugl 
subsequently decided it 1 
«d and that I'd done Taubman an in- 
justice, so I wrote him an apology. 
went on to make а rare and perceptive 
comment about himself, the kind of 
statement few public figures would dare 
ıo make: “I think perhaps I've become 
а captive of ту own stormy-petrel 
image.” Merrick said. "and that her 
alter I should stick to producing shows 
and let other people do the public 
performin: 


Antics like these suggest that Mer- 
rk ds a 


noisy, B. 


numesque. extro- 
vert. Ironically, nothing could be further 
[тот the truth. Says one young actress 
who dated him brielly, “He's one of the 
shyest, most repressed and inhibited peo- 
ple 1 ever met" Says another friend 
“In social situations Merrick is oft 
overtly ill at ease. He's grateful when you 
call someone over to speak to him. Other- 
wise he stands by himself. 

А poignant scene is conjured up by 
the friend who recalls one particularly 
tended by Merrick. The 
е in the baron типе 
nin a big old- 
s West Side. 


with s 
oddments like 


ns, ancient 
vithers and huge ward- 
robe of thea 


produc At this y guest 
was asked to don the costume of his or 
her choice. The result might be discreetly 


described as a general relaxation of 
restraint, Merrick loosened his enough to 
don the three-cornered hat and silk 


britches of an 18th. Century outfit. Bu 
even in masquerade, even amidst the 
revelry and racket of a pulsating party, 
Merrick is remembered as standing, re- 
mote and silent, disconnected. from the 
surrounding abandon. 

ilarly, until a few years ago Mer- 
rick had the habit when talking. of 
m part of his face with 
his hand, as if hiding. It was called to 
his atiention and he has stopped doin, 
it, but the gesture was symbolic of his 
shyness. This reserve is still reflected in 
the long silences with which Merrick 
interrupts what might be termed his 
intermittent nonconversation. 
Merrick himself vs: "Em quiet 
and reserved. АШ iboyance is a 
calculated image. I's part of being a pro- 
ducer. Having recognized that there 
must be showmanship off the stage as 
well as on it, I work at iL So now I'm 
colorful,” he adds wryly. “It's a role I 
play. For some people being flamboyant 


comes naturally. Not for те.” 


king the low 


“I call it ‘fire 


Thus, while Merrick is, with one 
hand, inviting all the publicity he can 

¢ time. fighting 
almost obsessively to maintain а wall of 
secrecy about his private life, Among the 
dozens of friends, associates, and co- 
ers with whom 1 spoke, only one 
the 


get, he ds at the s 


d ever seen 
ment. M 
tell anyone where he live 
luxury 
Sureet ii 


de of his apart 
ick. himself, refuses even to 
(It is in a 
partment house on West 55th 
Manbauan) The only excep- 
on to the rule 
Goldman, a bald, thintipped whip of 
а man, one ol Merrick's oldest financial 
backers, who happens to live in the same 
building. Merrick k to 
anyone about his carly days in St. Louis, 
about his family. or his marriage, He 
furious when The New York T 
тап an article describing his wrong-side- 
of the-tracks boyhood. Recently, when a 
columnist reported that Merrick had 
secretly married. Jeanne Gilbert, the ас 
wactive blonde ex-wife of the New 
York Daily Mirror's movie critic, Mer- 
Tick was besieged by reporters asking 
lor confirmation or denial. His cryptic 


Û exclusion 


s Byron 


piuses fo ta 


was 


mes 


Tepl 
10 yc 


couldn't be married. I'm only 
s old.” 


Surprising though it may be to some 
people, the fact is that once even David 
Merrick was 10 years old. Merrick was 
born in 1911, in St. Louis, the son of Celia 
and Samuel Margulois, and the youngest 
of five children, His father was а modest 
shopkeeper. The home was пог a happy 
one, and when David was still a boy his 
parents were divorced. He was raised by a 

ter. atiended Central High School aud 
тап for the presidency of his senior c 


Already imbued with ant 

tarianism, he c 

fraternity program he went to 
Washington University for a few y 


where he studied dra 


atics, 


wrote a 


play or two. and worked at odd jobs 
nsferred 
Catholic 


himself. He t 
University, a 
and, at the 


to help suppor 
to St. Louis 
school, in 1935, urging ol 
his stud . a profession for 
which he has about as much respect as 
he has for the press. AH this time he 
floated quietly around the periphery of 
the litde-theater movement of the city, 
feeling somewhat excluded and sel-con- 231 


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scious z both Jewish and poor. 

In 1937, Merrick received his law de- 

grec. Soon afterward, he married Lenore 

Beck. a girl he had met 
shortly thereafter inherited 

worth about 5200.000, The you 

practiced more or less lackad 
est contin 


eve 
the shows on Broadway and try to find a 
stage door in which to insert his foot. The 
truth is that Merrick hated St. Louis, and. 
sull does. In 1940. he made а crucial 
decision, He changed his name from 
Margulois to. Merrick and migrated to 
New York. 

Merrick and his young wife then 
settled into а small hotel in midio 
Manhatt ad for the next de 
more David Merrick, somewhat th 
than now. but already 
and mustachioed, haunted the fringes of 
g. learning, look- 
ing for a lever with which to pry open the 
door to theatrical success. During those 
years he invested modestly in a few show 
took a job as theater manager at a Май 
resort опе summer, returned, drifted to 
Los Angeles to cise the little theaters 
there, and came back to New York. In 
1945, Merrick finally landed a job — with- 
out pay—as general ni er for Hi 
Shumlin, who already had made a repu- 
- producer of The Male 
orm is Green and other 


c 


Animal, The 
Broadway hits. 

At this time, Merrick was also begin- 
ning to make important contacts. among 
them M Brown and Byron Goldman, 
both of them successful Broadway 
vestors. One Brown and Goldman 
came to Merrick with a comedy called 
Clutierbuch. Merrick dec ided | now was 
the time to try his own ss “The 
property was about ready for tryout in 
Denver. Merrick flew west to take a look 
at it, liked what he saw, 
co-produce 
dway, however, it filtered. Merrick, 


sense that would c 
on, dug in his heels. He ran a contest for 
sexy limericks to advertise the play. He 
1 the fictional “Mr. Cluuerbuc са 
in Manhattan hotel lobbies. He pumped 
dvertising money into the press. By such 
me 

running lon, 


the inves 


50. 
se of Clutterbuck, 
soldman and а woman 
yburg formed а syndi 
new show. Merrick had the 
1 Pagnol’s famous trilogy, 
Jésar, would make а first- 


ate 


rate musical, so he flew to France to buy 
the theatrical rights to the property from 
Pagnol. But Merrick was a nobody then, 
and Pagnol was rich and famous. P 
eluded him. Merrick pursued, na 
cajoled. For three years, on and oll, 
kept after Pagnol, unu st the Ете 
man relented, During the inte 
invested in a few productions himself, 
d dreamed. Now. at 
hts in his pocket, he 
beg: company. He talked 
Josh Lo: to directing, Harold Коти 
into writing the score. He got Albert and 
Frances Hackett, and later S. N. Behrman. 
to do the book. He snagged Ezio Pinza 
and Walter Slezak to appear in it. 

For Mer Fanny desperate 
make-orbreak proposition. If it failed, 
he was convinced, he would have to re- 
turn to St. Louis in defeat to practice 
Fortunately, all of Merrick's hard. 
work, his perseverance, and the money 
he poured into advertising and promo- 
tion, paid off. Fanny was а smash hit. It 
ran for two у and Merrick was on 
his way. He hasn't stopped since. 

There followed The Matchmaker, 
Look Back im Anger, Romanoff and 


waited, schemed a 
last, with the 


п to assemble 


was 


law. 


Juliet, illlated musical named 
Jamaica, an English play, The Enter 
tainer, with Laurence Olivier. Then 


came The World of Suzie Wong. He 
tried doing Maria Golovin, a musical by 
Menotti. Later he did £a Plume de Ma 
Tante, Destry Rides 1 nd. Gypsy. 


h the brassy, flossy shows, hi 
from England serious d 
Epitaph for George Dillon, A Taste of 
Honey and Becket, In all there have been 
29 Merrick productions. and, says Mer- 


ic 


rick, 21 of these have made back their 
money or piled up profits. This score, by 
comparison with the records of other 
producers, is astonishing. 


т Merrick the theater became an all- 
sorbing concern, so absorbing that he 
has had almost no home life. His mar- 
riage seemed to dissolve gradually, and 
а few years ago he quietly divorced 
Lenore Beck. Sandwiched in somewhere 


between his jaunts to London, Pari 
Los Angeles or Miami, between his 
breakfasts at the Plaza, and midnight 


at the Ritz in Boston, between 
Mal telephone calls. his 
ments with age s publ 
making and aitic baiting. he has found 
time for only a paper-thin sliver of social 
y friends.” he 
ге. 1 
don't have time for tl You're lucky if 
in a lifetime you can find two or thre 
real friends. I confine myself to a very 
few.” Опе of these, it may be presumed, 
is Jeanne Gilbert, who goes around tell- 
ing newspaper people that she is mar- 
ried to Merrick, a status Merrick refuses 


snack: 
the transconi 


ity 


to either confirm or deny publicly. Mer- 
rick says, "Don't get any notion that my 
life is only theater. There's time for 
private life. But nobody secs this other 
а of my life." Perhaps so. Hf it exists, 
he keeps it so well-hidden that not only 
journalists but even many of his closest 


working associates aud friends—if this 
term is truly now nothing 
of it. А more like at the 


center of all this activity lies a phantom. 
Iu the words of one acqui ‘David 
never reveals. himself. Maybe he's got 
nothing to reveal 


It may be precisely this concent 
of energy and attention Ч 
Merrick the influence he h 
the legitimate theater in His 
impact has been profound. He has 
brought with him innovations and he 
reintroduced old but forgotten ted 
niques into the business of the theater. 
He has. for example, revolutionized ad- 
vertising. "He started the advert 
tend in the theater all over ар; 
says Harold Rome. He has brought back 
ballyhoo. He has experimented. When 
Oliver! opened, Merrick took it first to 
Los Angeles, r than to New Haven 
or Boston or Philadelphia, the tradi 
tional towns. Recently 
cussed the possibility of having his shows 
broadcast coast to coast by television on 
is. His 


ion 
has made 


he dis 


ness is most evident in the employment 
that he provides. Jim Moran's comment 
that “actors should genuflect when he 
goes by," may be a bit extravagant. But 
there is no question t Merrick's 
efforts to make the business more effi- 
Gent, his development of what is, in 
clfect, “mass production” for the theater, 
has meant work for hundreds. Broadway 
without Merrick shows would begin to 
approximate a ghost town. Moreover, 
Merrick has not been afraid to open the 
doors to newcomers. Not only has he 
used young people in important roles, 
he has opened another door, too. Mer- 


rick fought the stigehands union to 
break down anti-Negro barriers. Now 
the union has Negro members. Merrick 


is credited with being the first producer 
10 hire а Negro stage manager. He is not 
ler. He merely hires the best 
people he can find. 
Much criticism 
Merrick for his failure to favor original 
American plays. He is accused of being a 
“supermarket” because of his high pro- 
ductivity and а mere "importer" because 
hie has brought over so many shows from 
England. One young. playwright voices 
the bitterness of many when she says. 
"The irony is that he could do so much 
better. This is a fellow who could sell 
manure with lantern slides if he tried. He 
could put on quality plays and sell them 
to the public." 


а ац 


has been leveled at 


“You realize, of course, thal you started 
oul with two strikes against you." 


233 


PLAYBOY 


234 


t of all an 
«тег of 
But 

he 


The fact is that Merrick is fi 
entrepreneur. He is not an 
off-Broadway ог the avantg 
within the limits of commerc 
has done well by quality. For every 


arde. 
lism 


hone of his staff refers ta 
s produced a Becket 
orge Dillon. He has, 


Wong, wl 


piece of crap." he h 
or an Epitaph for С 
in fact, virtually compelled his investors 


to pick up the tab Ior quality productions 
money, һу 


that seemed likely to lose 


warning them that if they failed to sup- 


port these shows he might cut tem out 
of the big moneymakers. This is a brand 
of guts that is refreshing on Broadway 

Even victims of Merrick's formidable 
temper often admit that he has been, on 
whole, Broad- 
Logan, the director, һай so 


good influ 


псе on 


nuch trouble with Merrick during 
production of Fanny that he refused 10 
speak to him 4 10 a possibly 


apocryphal story, they were once trapped 


Accordi 


ether in а stalled elevator Гог a 
rier of an hour, but neither spoke a 
word. not even to yell for help. Yet 
n subsequently worked with Mer 
vin, and has said that Merrick 
new incentive to 
Herman Shumlin, 
the producer in whose office. Merrick 
served his apprenticeship, refused to 
talk to me about Merrick when 1 called 
him. “I'm sick of Merrick.” he stormed 
over the phone. When 1 reminded him 
that he had helped Гао Merrick, he 
shot back: “We all have our sins!” Yet 
same Shumlin Merrick 
milestone in our modern thi 
don't know of anybody у 
the theater who's done a job of pro- 
ducing so well or on such а scale.” 
o the charge that he is a 


a 
him 


whole 


gave 
work in the theater. 


has said 


importer” 


and not a producer of native Ameri- 


no 


can works, Merrick replies, “I se 
difference if 1 import a play from Phila- 
delphia, or Bucks County or from Mim- 


“You, Comrade Sonya, have been chosen 
to smuggle in the bombs.” 


chester, England. or Oxford or Pa 
Forget about me What has been the 
record of the other producers? There was 
only one American play of consequence 
on Broadway last season — Who's Afraid 


inia Woolf? V read it and liked it 


of Vir 
and tried to get it. I rang Albee's agent 
but never heard from him. But other 
than the Albee play. what do we have 
on Broadway thats worth a damn other 
th 


the import: 

Recently Merrick 
mother Broadway innovation. For years 
he has supported the David Merrick 
Through it, he has awarded 
tive arts to Bran 
versity. Now he 
io the Foun- 
tention to 


announced still 


Foundatioi 


scholarships in the crc 
deis and Catholic Ur 
has pumped fresh money i 
dation and announced. his 
produce, under its nonprofit auspices, a 

s of essentially noncommercial plays. 
a kind of play whieh is 


E: 
"There is a cer 
ı indulgence,” he says. “There is no pos- 
sibility of its yielding à bonanza. From 
investor's point of view. it's risk without 
any great hope of reward. The Found, 
tion will put on plays like that. I'm the 
sole contributor to the Foundation, 1 
don't intend to take in other money. 
I've made а lot of money in the theater 
and 1 want to put it back. After a few 
years. if the Ec ou has a good record 
1 might go ta the Rockefellers or the 
Fords for additional help.” 

Merrick insists that such noncommer- 
ould not be brought to tl 
wdicapped by poor light 
¢ equipment, a drafty, badly main- 
ned theater, poor costumes or props 
nd second-rate talent, “ГИ produce 
these plays with Broadway standards and 
promote them just like any Broadway 


play.” 

The first two productions set by the 
Foundation are Luther, a drama by John 
Osborne, in which Albert Finney will 
play the lead, and Arturo Ui, а play by 
Bertolt Brecht, adapted by George 
Tabori and set in Chicago. Says Merrick 
about his Foundation, "This is a poor 
man’s Lincoln Center for the Perform- 
g Ans 
But while Merrick cons 
his Foundation into something resem- 
bling, a respectable cultural force, he is 
busy, too, with plans for additional, 
more conventio 


's to build 


, Broadway shows. He 
1 past two. talked of 
tapering oll his high-pressure activity. He 
has considered, and rejected, the idea of 
taking a year oll Гог а leisurcly tour of the 
g. perhaps, with a new 


in the 


returni 
life and his work. He has also 
ollcrs to go into movie pro- 
or, for that matter, into pub- 
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theater now,” says Merrick, "But T have 
a low boring po 
FI go on to something else. 

In the meantime, he continues with 
ı heavy schedule of work in progress. 
This season, in addition to Arturo Ui 
and Luther. he will produce a p 
called The Rehearsal, by Anouilh, Dolly, 
ı musical based on The Matchinak 
ind another based on the play. The 
Rainmaker. He rattles off a list of a 
dozen other projects for the futur 
revue by Stan Frebe 
on The Pickwick Papers: Casablanca 
Teenager Lave, a Danish musical: A 
Candle for М. Jude, a play about а 
ballet school. 

That Menick’s "stormy perrel” 
are over seems unlikely. There are few 
signs that he is mellowing, or that the 
chip he has borne on his shoulder 

hood is But 
clear that he is doing some thinking about 
his career and his lile. The anti-establish 
ment Мет} says, "E find suddenly Em 
some kind of tycoon. I call 
A poor man's tycoon. By 
stablishment. 1 


days 


bout to bc re 


а toycoon: 


ШИП lm 


Vm like a Yorkshire terie 
Suddenly I find Fm regarded that мау 
myself: Tm The Establishment. 1 don't 
like that much." 

It will no doubt surprise Merrick, and 
those who conceive of him as "the big 
got bastard on Broadw that some 
who know him sec him i ally dil- 


ferent light. Says 1 
miring him as 1 do, 
basically do, 1 also f 
I've never heard anyone else 


somethin 


express. 
Jule Styne says: 
lot of people av 
David Merrick 
leaf t 
night not seem lil 


“David has driven a 
from him. The real 
I he turned over a new 
ght lose publicity. He 


wron 


e such an sob. to so 


ny people. But he would grow ue 
mendously. We desperately need. David 
Merricks in the d but not the 
David N the false picture, We 
I Merrick who 
has given more of himself. for the suc 
cess of the theater than any man 1 know 
I he did mellow, or tum over a new 
leaf tomorrow, he'd be home free. He 
seratched the 


surface of 
what he 


hasn't even 
being a producer yet, or doi 
could.” 

And Merrick, himsel 
tation for being a rough, toug 
al 


have 


тери 
! son of 


he says. 


Гат — part of 
the time. E have my own ideas, Bur that's 
just part of being a producer.” His voice 
is soft and persuasive as he speaks, with 
out defiance, without self-pity, but also 
without a trace of apol 


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235 


PLAYBOY 


236 


PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY 


(continued from page 92) 


beat girlfriend for the night, a sensuous 
brunette. 

These photographs are different from 
the bed sequence in the June issue of 
PLAYBOY in м 
and Esquire photos, ¢ 
though pa den by covers: the 
couples or in physical 
contact with one another; the couples 


al respects: In the Post 
yone is nude, 


We a we that two 
sep; ng applied 
here: one for mravmov: the other for 
everybody else, If that is true, it is cer- 


tainly not the first time. It happened 
before in Chicago, when we opened the 
first Playboy Club, and the same Corpo- 
tion Counsel decided. that key clubs 
were illegal in Ilinois. Chicago 
key clubs for 25 years, but dur 
Playboy Club's first week 
Corporation Counsel M 
that key clubs were illegal. 

We took the key club question to 
court ad we won it. We wi 
same with the obsce 
small fine is meaningless, but th 
issues involved here tl © alLimpor- 
tant to anyone who believes in democ- 
of the issues, we will fight 
sal administrative action with 
every resource at our command — for 
ourselves, and for those others, less able 
to defend themselves, also suffer 

ation and coercion at the hands 
of the bigots, the censors, the enemi 
of freedom, who are forever attempting 


are 


who 


to reshape society— by fair means or 
foul — into their own twisted image of 
what it should be, 


In the next installment of “The Play- 
boy Philosophy.” Editor.Publisher Hugh 
M. Hefner completes his response to the 
June-issue obscenity charge, offering ad- 
ditional evidence that it was less the 
Jayne Mansfield pictorial than this out- 
spoken editorial series that initiated the 
action, and revealing for the first lime 
the forces in Chicago, and throughout 
the country, that ave most actively work- 
ing against PLAYBOY and against the 
interests of all men who wish to live free 
and unobstructed lives, thinking their 
own thoughts. and able 10 express those 
thoughts without interference or penalty. 
Ini the personal exploration of this single 
incident, and related incidents invok 


ung 
PLAYBOY in the past, Hefner makes his 
strongest cuse yel for the separation of 
church and state in maintaining a truly 
fice society. The details described involve 
avtov, but the implications involve 
all of us. This is an installment oj “The 
Playboy Philosophy” that no reader of 
this publication will want to miss. 

See “The Playboy Forum" in this issue 
for readers comments — pro and con — 
on subjects raised in previous install- 
ments of the “Philosophy.” A limited 
number of the first seven parts have been 
reprinted in booklet form and may be 
had by sending a check or money order 
Jor SI to PLAYBOY, 232 E. Ohio St, Chi- 
cugo, Шіпоіх 60611. 


A 
ФА 


“jooo” 


PLAYBOY FORUM 


(continued from page 78) 


tion with religious taboo,” that those 
“who wish to impose censorship not only 
do not succeed in maintaining morals as 
defined by a ruling class, but also do 
succeed in creating the source of rebel- 
lion and immorality. They create both 
a consumer demand and the middleman. 
. . . The forbidden begets demand and 
demand will find a way.” 


CANCER IN CALIFORNIA 

1 think you will find of interest the 
opinion of the California State Supreme 
Court in the case of Zeitlin vs. Ame- 
bergh. The opinion. written for a unani 
mous Court, is by Associate Justice 
Mathew О, Tobriner, and it represents 
а significant and far-reaching decision 
in this area of literary censorship. 


1 was one of the attorneys of record 
(n iation with A. L. Wirin and 
fi 1) representing Jacob Zeit- 


Los Angeles bookseller, in conni 
tion with а Tropic of Cancer case. This 
was a civil action on behalf of the Amer- 
Liberties Union seeking 
y judgment to the effect that 
Tropic of Cancer was not obscene within 
the meaning and scope of the Califor 
Obscenity Law. 

At the tim this case was argucd 
before the State Supreme Court. and 
prior to that when the case was argued 
before the District Court of Appeals, the 
Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts 


had ruled that the book was constitu- 


lly protected. The District Court of 
Appeals. in an incredibly bad. opinion 
by Justice Mildred Lilli, rejected. the 
Massachusetts ruling. upon which we 
1. understandably. relied. Acone point 
in her opinion. Just : referred to 
а statement by the Massachusetts Court 
to the effect that although the content of 
the book was in many respects shocking 


ıd offensive. 


competent. critics have 
sserted and the Court agreed "that 
Tropic has serious purpose”; and is, 


therefore, ¢ 


titled to constitutional pro- 


tection. To which Justice Lillie com- 
mented: “Thes listed in a 
footnote, are professors.” 
Obviously, in her view, being a college 


professor constitutes 
this arca. 

Mr. Justice Tobriner and the other 
Justices on. the State Supreme Court, 
however, gave the Massachusetts opinion 
сэресии! 
Acwally, the ‘Vobriner opin- 
nificent on. several counts. It 

presents а ruling by the Supreme Cou 
ol the State of California and the only 
clear ru the country, so 
far as 1 “literary 
value” is the equ redeeming: 
social importance” es the writing 


fatal disability 


а wholly different and 
reception 


alent of 
nd gi 


constitutional protection. 
sented a ma 
tation of the case from its inception 
on appeal. 

In. addi 
the que 
the Court i; 
for the j ction for declara- 
tory judgment is an appropriate form 
in this field: that the book is not porno- 
graphic and cannot be banned. thereby 
in full each of our conten- 
ns on appeal. 

We proceeded in this case by way of 
an action for declaratory judgment in 
order to undercut the mushrooming in- 
ns in the 
court recognized 
1 wisdom of this 


This repre- 
4 
nd 


the opinion holds that 


question of f 


«cision does not directly dispose 
of the Bradley Smith conviction which 
the City Attorney obtained. recently. in 

as the. Hollywood 
bookseller who was convicted by а jury 
ina Mun misdemeanor 
ч 1 


not to the 
ectly to the 
Cour. For all 
practical purposes. however. the Zeitlin 
decision assures a reversal of the Bradley 
Smith conviction by the United Stites 
е Court when that case со 


apreme Court, but di 
ed States Supre 


es up 


My hope is that the United States Su 
preme Со 


twill use t 
board 


Ilin decision 
a decision of 
similar effect and scope on a national 


nd write 


ba: 


, For these tease 
e Supreme Co 
rly gratif 
Wirin 


this decision by the 
t 


particu- 
s to Mr. 
us in 
s wit from 
its inception and through а long and 
appellate procedure. 
e written at this great length be- 
row of Mr. Hefne al 
st in the Tropic of Cancer pros- 
caution on а national level and in the 
р field of censorship on the ground 
of alleged obscen 
N 1 L. Schoichet 
Beverly Hills, California. 


s spe 


BOOO! 

I am dismayed to see that Publ 
Hefner's Philosophy — at least th 
20,000 or so words of it— is bein 
icized, and applauded, for the 
reasons. dts detr 
point out that it 
cent in. concepti 
and extraordi 
1 really 
praised. 


Cambridge, England 


dangerous 
ni 


“A little knowledge is i 
а thinly di 
Does Mr. He 
How. facile 
philosopl 
PLAYBOY ds understa 

sophic PLayuoy — ‘tis sad, 
arles Н. 
.enoir Rh 
Hickory, North € 


Commercial 
= but philo- 


Mr. Hefner's series presenting The 
Playboy Philosophy will most surely es- 
tablish him as one of Americws loremost 
writers of humus. 
Н. A. Hedlund, President 
The Montezum 
Montezumia, Ка 


AUTHOR, AUTHOR?! 

Did this fellow Hu 
write d at of The Play 
hoy Philosophy? It is a masterpiece. 1 
thought all that fellow did was examine 
the Bunni 


h M. Hefner really 


Harry Golden 
The Carolina. Isractite 
Charlotte, North Carolina 


Tam quite curious as to how much of 
The Playboy Philosophy is Mr. He 
own philosophy — not the ethics of h 
stall or 
be read by people everywhere with a 
clear, open mind. 

Ralph W. Jones 

Lexington, North Carolina 


wing of Mr. Hefner's 
Playboy Philosophy it bas. completely 
whelmed me. It is perhaps the 
brilliant and all-consuming reading that 
encountered. до date 
tr ifle 


ove 


Tt see 


© for а шан 
d stiongly уп. 
older + 
Чон (ийсин to coi 
busy and determined: 


the collabora 
the pen. Also, Tf 
ceive of a 
as Mr. Hefner finding the time to so 
completely ind thoroughly document 
the primed editor 30 days. 
May we have com 2 


Is every 
on th 
David Johnson 
Trenton, New Jersey 
Editor-Publisher Hefner uses staff as 
sistance in tracking down specific ve 
search material needed for “The Playboy 
Philosophy," but all of the thoughts are 
his. and all of the writing is. also. The 
editorial series represents his own, per- 
sonal philosophy of life. 


“The Playboy Forum” offers the op- 
portunity for an extended dialog be- 
tween readers and editors ou. subjects 


and issues raised in our continuing edi- 
torial series, “The Playboy Philosophy.” 
Address all correspondence on either the 
“Philosophy” or the “ 
Playboy Forum, viavwoy, 232 E. 
Street, Chicago, IHlinois, 60611. 


orum" do: The 


Ohio 


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When Ella Fitzgerald or Count Basie 
step into a recording studio, it's 
news. When Ella Fitzgerald and 
Count Basie record together, it's an 
event! Just such an event occurred 
late in July when The First Lady of 
Song and Count Basie and his or- 
chestra met in New York for three 
fabulous sessions. The album could 
only be called, ELLA AND BASIE! 
The exclamation mark is definitely 
part of the title. Quincy Jones did 
{һе arranging in his own Basie 
groove. Ella was relaxing between 
personal engagements, and having a 
ball scatting through the charts as 
the band warmed up. Basie and his 
band were in rare form, and up for 
this summit meeting. The tape fairly 
sizzled as Ella swung and the Basie 
band cooked. It was a happy, driving 
kind of recording experience for all. 


Atone point Ella got so caught up in 
the spirit of things, she took a five- 
minute break and penned a set of 
lyrics to Frank Foster's tune, Shiny 
Stockings. The take was so fine it 
was picked to open the album. 
You'll be hearing it as a single rec- 
ord, too. Other good old good ones 
explored by Ella and Basie include 
"Deed | Do, Ain't Misbehavin’, On 
The Sunny Side Of The Street, Satin 
Doll, Honeysuckle Rose, Dream A 
Little Dream Of Me, and Them There 
Eyes, among others. All that's miss- 
ing are Ella's delighted chuckles, 
Basie's big laugh, and the cheers 
from the control room. But pick up 
on Verve V/V6-4061, ELLA AND 
BASIE!, and supply your own ap- 
plause. It's that kind of album. 


THE JAZZ OF AMERICA IS ON 


VERVE RECORDS 


Маме Records is a division of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Inc, 


237 


PLAYBOY 


238 


GODDESS OF 
FERTILITY E 


^'She who is smiled upon by Zulubibu. 
will soor be blessed with many, 
many, many children.” So goes the 
bit of tongue-in-cheek primitive folk 
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FAIRY TALES 


(continued from page 107) 


And if you've ever tried 
ad you know that that's 


d as the clock 
bv tower struck 12, 
leaped up from her spot о 
hext to the Duke. 
Wh © you going?” he asked. 
“The clock has just struck 12," she 
said. 
е 


he said. 


a good d 
But ГИ stay a wee 
And she did. Then о 
the Duke was dozing on the Ман 
she got up and ran off for hom 


But 


unknowingly she һай left her bi 
behind. 
When the Duke awoke he picked up 


‘Star 
every 


and said, 
Twill visi 
around, if neces 
rì who fits 


the bil 
moi 
miles 
the 


make her my bride.” 
Well, the next. morning. the Duke 
his search, but it took а Jot 


he had expected, Because 
girl removed her clothes 

ini, the Duke paused 
ne with her. 


every 
to uy on the bil 
to spend some 

A famous French surveyor 1 
ted that considering th 
moving at and the direction he’ 
the Duke should reach Citronell 


house sometime in the spring of 1961. 


THERE WAS ONCE û и 
оп Park. Avenue 
people who worked there 
just as you and 1. But 

icies, they called 


s the custom in 
ach 


such ag 


other by cute nic 
One day account executive 


colive 


Blast Beer, the a count. 
walked unexpectedly office 
Benny-penny so nervous at the 


sight of his client that he sj 
collee all over the Запе ne 
suit. Whereupon in a fit of pique, the 
advertising director, a very fastidious 
n. toll Benny-penny that he was 
switching the account to another 
yv 
w me,” said Bei uny vush 
ing out of his office, ast Beer 


account is falling. I must tell the presi- 


is way to the president's office, 


met the account 


president 


e 


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that the Blast Beer account is falli 
said Benny-penny. 
"May | come with 
Dou . "ot а 
моей. 
Certainly.” said. Benny penny 
So Benny penny and Douggic-wong 
went to tell the president that the N 


asked 


bit dis- 


you 
ише 


ам 


account was f. 


Beer пт 

On their way they пиз Ше vice 
president, Dobby-wobl, “Where arc 
vou going, Benny penny а Don 


wouggie?” asked Bobby webby 

We are going do tell the president 
that the Blast. Beer account is falling.” 
said Bemny-penny and Dow 

“May D come with you 
by.wobby. quite concerned 

Certainly? said B 
Douggic-wouggie. 

So Benny penis. Dougsic-wousgie and 
Babby-wobby went to tell the president 
that the Blast Beer account was falling 

At last they reached. the presides 
oflice amd burst in. “The Blast Beer 
cownt is falli sid Beuny-peuny. 
wong imd Bobbywobby to 


woogie. 
asked. Bob- 


uy penny a 


ac 


the president. 


Benny penny then recon 
incident in his office with. the 
director. The president 
fired. Douggic-woussie and 


wd the 
adverti 
mediately 
BoDby-wobby 
iking 


for calling on him without n 


appointment fist. But he promoted 
Benny-penny 10 vice-president. 

"Be carelul how ус handle vour 
collec. hom now on uy penny," 


said the president 
“L will, Daddy-waddy," 
penny. 


sid. Benny- 


THE ENCHANTED BULL 


ROG 


IN A KINGDOM across the sea there lived a 
very beautiful princess. One day while 
she and her younger sister were walkin 
near ip. they were attacked by an 
gry hornet. The princess very 
frightened of hornets ind threw her aris 
round her younger sis in 10 
cry. Suddenly а fat, bullfrog ap- 
peared, and with onc flick ol his tongue 
he captured the hornet and devoured it. 

“Since I saved vou fr the hornet, 
will you grant m asked the 
bullfrog. 

“Anything, anything,” said the grate- 
ful princess. 

"p would like t0 go home with you 
and live in castle For 
nonths." said the bullfr 
The princess was a bit upset by the 
frogs unusual wish, but she a 
And although the sight and feel of 
him repelled her, she picked. him up 
d brought him home. 
For the next few 
the wishes of the king 
by his eldest d 
the frog, the ug! 
castle. 


a sw 


was 


wish? 


your three 


greed. 


months, against 
‚ who was puzzled 
whter’s attachment to 
y creature lived in the 


One day while the princess and her 
younger sister were strolling on the 
castle. Lawn, the bullfrog, who was 
hopping along beside them, said to the 

my months in 
ave up. 1 am eyerlastingly 
teful to you for your kindness, You 
y now kis me, whereupon 1 will 
tum into а tall, hando 
we shall be manied; 

As the princess breathlessly lifted the 
bulliros to kiss him, the king appeared 
inl said to her, "What the bell are you 


"Today three 


princess, 
the 


castle 


me prince, amd 


Daughter 
aber F 


the exi 


thor” said 


princess. “this is an enchanted bullfrog, 
As soon as 1 Kiss him he will turn into 
а gall handsome prince and we shall 
be married. 

"Are 


mind: 


vou out of vour ever loving 


said the king. "This is the 20th 
Century, girl! We don’t believe in fairy 
tales nowadays! 


Bur disregarding her fathers com. 
ments, the princess planted а kiss on 
the ugly face of the bullfrog, and lo 
amd behold — nothing happened 

"Paw understand it, Father. 
the princess. on the verge of tes 
told me he was really a prince 

"Oh so now he talks!” said the king. 
alk ro my E 7 said the pr 
to the how. “Please, please talk to him.” 
aanp.” said the bulllrog 

The king a severely impartial riley, 
had the qn al ta a psycho 
ward on s She ds 
to this day. 

Meanwhile, the princes! younger sis 
ter has taken over as next in line to 
the She wavels with 


said 
He 


& 


the 


Dm 


sodomy cl there 


throne the royal 
jet set. has а ball with young noblemen 
and absolutely panics her friends at 


parties with her remarkable feats of 


veuniiloquism. 


"Dm tired of being the lesser of two evils!” 


239 


PLAYBOY 


240 


PLAYBOY 
READER SERVICE 


Write to Janet Pilgrim for the 
answers to your shopping 
questions. She will provide you 
with the name of a retail store 
in or near your city where you 
can buy any of the specialized 
items advertised or editorially 
featured in PLAYBOY. For 
example, where-to-buy 
information is available for the 
of the advertisers 
issue listed below. 


Miss Pilgrim will be happy to 
answer any of your other 
questions on fashion, travel, food 
and drink, hi-fi, etc. If your 
question involves items you saw 
in PLAYBOY, please specify 

page number and issue of the 
magazine as well as a brief 
description of the items 

when you write. 


PLAYBOY READER SERVICE 
232 Е. Ohio Street, Chicago 11, Ill. 


USE CONVENIENT GIFT SUBSCRIPTION 
ENVELOPE PAGES 53 & 193 
EN 


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address 

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Mail to PLAYBOY 

232 E. Ohio Street, Chicago, Ilinois 60611. 
106 


PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK 
BY PATRICK CHASE 


WE WARMLY ENDORSE a trek south of the 
border this yuletide season into Mexico, 
Central or South America. In. Mexico 
City, Xmas marks the spot with decora- 
nd a hyperactive night 


ie 
l cantina 
htclub acts 


1 film festival at A 
audy beach ball well worth 
fore its early-December closi 
the less touristed Mexican locales that 
assume a special seasonal glow with 
dlelit posada processions are cobbled 
Guanajuato and San Miguel de Allende, 
both of which memorably fuse the feel 
of colonial Spai geles Indian 
beauty. If you're motoring through Me: 
u'll find excellent accommod: 

ng from small country inns lik 
da Chorillo at Taxco and the V 
a María near Morelia 
soris like Ixtapan de 
and San Jos the latter 
boasts sparkling mineral-water baths in 
private pools just big enough for two. 
nual + 100 much 
neglected. by ns, considering its 
ximity, color and comforts. In Pan- 
а, for example, you may spend an ex- 


1 town with government 
bling at the main hotels 
Î of the better ni 
a Пу off to recuperate at the new 
Panamanian fishing resort, Club de 
Pesca. Offering cosmopolitan accommo- 
dations in a jungle setting on the т 
mote, mountain-backed shore of Piña 
Bay, the club. is accessible, via its own 


amphibious fying boat, from 
Though 130 miles from civilization 
this superlative Shangri-La pampers its 
guests with air-conditioned chalets built 
plush bayshore clubhouse, and 
c to comple- 


marlin, 
k which 
10 international game- 
arilf is $40 a day for 
two, NS boat for your own use at 
about S100 per day. 
Another offbeat but bright Christmas 
may be enjoyed farther to the south in 
the high heart of the Chilean Andes, а 
fectly suited for trout fish 
lakeside 
nerary for thi 


and 


might run thusly 
the morni 

Lodge in Pucón on the shores of 
Villarrica, where the Liucura and Tran- 


cura Rivers are alive with what some 
consider the world's scrappiest 
and brown trout; press on through the 
colonial town of Osorno for 
superb resort hotel of Puychu 
side, mountai 


ke called a curanto; 
road and lake 
nto Аг; 


for a local claml 
and then journey by 
mer across the border 


rlos de 


Bariloche 
surfeit of scenery and the fine Llao Llao 
Hotel (with casino). 

For further information on any of the 
above, write to Playboy Reader Serv 
ice, 232 E. Ohio SL. Chicago, 1.60611. EB 


NEXT MONTH: 


“THE GIRLS OF САМАРА”. 


А 12-PAGE PICTORIAL PORTFOLIO SALUT- 


ING OUR NORTHERN NEIGHBOR'S COMELIEST CHICKS 


“LAFCADIO"—AN ILLUSTRATED UNCLE SHELBY FABLE FOR ADULTS BY 
PLAYBOY'S UNABASHED AESOP--SHEL SILVERSTEIN 


JIMMY HOFFA SPEAKS OUT—THE TEAMSTERS' CONTENTIOUS KINGPIN 
15 EXPLOSIVELY CANDID IN AN EXCLUSIVE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


“HALLUCINOGENS” 


-THE PROS AND CONS, HISTORY AND FUTURE 


POSSIBILITIES OF VISION-INDUCING PSYCHOCHEMICALS—-BY ALDOUS 
HUXLEY, DAN WAKEFIELD, ALAN HARRINGTON 


U.S. SKIING—WHERE YOU'LL FIND THE SWIFTEST RUNS, HANDSOMEST 
HOSTELRIES AND MOST BEGUILING SNOW BUNNIES 


“You were born for a bulldozer, not an attache case, dear...” 


In fact, your mother would faint dead away if she knew what | see in her precious 

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Which 
of the top 10 


filter brands 
do you think 
you should 

smoke? — 


c 1963 P. Lorillard Co 


Kent with the MICRONITE Balance’ is the key word Because you can So, if you smoke a filter cigarette (or even 
go too far in either direction if you dont), don't you think you should 
Filter offers smokers the Lonllard Research developed the Micronte smoke Kent? 


filter to do a good job in filtration That stands 

i i м = FOR BOTH MILDNESS 

best balance of filtration to reason But they never forgot the fact that AND SATISFYING TASTE 
real smoking pleasure calls for satisfying 


and mild, satisfying taste taste as well SMOKE KENT 


KENT 


THE FINER THE FILTER, THE MILDER THE TASTE