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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN SEPTEMBER 1964 * 75 CENTS 


PLAYBOY 


“PIOUS PORNOGRAPHERS 
REVISITED” » "NUDEST 
PETER SELLERS AND 
ELKE SOMMER” - “PLAYBOY 
IN JAMAICA" - ANNUAL 
"PIGSKIN PREVIEW" 
HENRY MILLER - BEN 
HECHT + J. P. DONLEAVY 


The Bird that rules the bourbon roost 
This is Mr. Big among all bourbons. Here's class 


& character and a very, very smooth taste. Daniel 
Webster & Andrew Jackson wouldnt settle for less. 
Nor do millions of todays Americans whove made 
Old Crow the No.1 bourbon. Next round—make it 
better, make it smoother, make it with the Bird. 


OLD CROW 


The greatest name in bourbon 


DISTILLED AND BDTTLED BY THE FAMOUS OLD CROW DISTILLERY CO.. FRANKFORT. KY. 


A brand-new, 172-year-old idea: 
4711 Cologne after a shower. 


4TI's original secret formula goes 
back to 1792. It's been Europe's 
classic all-around cologne ever 
since. But lately, more and more 
men have been using 4711 after 
showering. They like its unusually 


inc., 41 East 42nd St., Ne 


tingling, bra invigorating feel- 
ing. They unique crisp scent 
too. (4711 isn't a perfumed cologne; 
it's the refreshant cologne. Its 
scent refreshes, yet never lingers. 
So both men and women can use it 


after a bath or shower, or now and 
then through the day.) Something 
else about 471l has caught on: More 
men than ever are using it as an 
after shave bracer. For a 172-year- 
old idea, it's unusually refreshing. 


The House of 4711 


Because everything I love about Jim 
is right there...as plain as those green 
stripes. Other men pussy-foot around 
with pin stripes and puny stripes. 
Not Jim. Pow. Green stripes. Green 
stripes for red blood. Who’s afraid 
of the big dull world...not Jim. 


Yes, green striped shirt, you be- 
long in our house. 

In fact, l'Il bet a perfect stranger 
could look at those stripes, and that 
Van Heusen 417 taper, and the 
stubborn roll of that Van Heusen 
417 collar...and know exactly how 


I love you, 
green striped shirt... 


Jim likes his roast beef...and exactly 
why I'll stay a blonde until I'm 999 
years old. 


VAN HEUSEN' 
41 T younger by design 


Van esten and Lady Van Heusen Shins 


PLAYBILL “rece 

scious September 
issue at hand offers to the undergrad and 
the young-in-heart alum a well-rounded 
curriculum. Playboy's Pigskin Preview, 
by expert-in-residence Anson Mount, 
once more crystalballs the upcoming 
collegiate gridiron year. It should be 
noted, with all due immodesty, that the 
bringing together of the 13 stalwarts of 
our All-America football team is a 
logistical feat of considerable dimension 
and a tribute to both our Photo Depart 
ment, which coordinated arrivals in Chi 
cago from all parts of the U.S., and 
the esteem in which the players hold the 
Preview. Fashions for football watching 
and other areas of collegiate concern are 
perceptively projected in Robert L. 
Green's Big Man on Campus. Involved 
in our parodistic college fashion guide 
are three prime practitioners of the 
subtle art of satire—Ann Elder, Omar 
Shapli and Dave Steinberg—all mem- 
bers of Chicago's famous cabaret-theater, 
"The Second City. 

A somewhat les enthu ic note 
on matters academic is struck by emi- 
nent authority Paul Goodman in The 
Deadly Halls of Ivy. He contends that 
America's mass-education mania has 
turned our universities into sheepskin 
factories wherein the graduate is pre- 
pared for very little besides becoming a 
member of the alumni association. The 
Deadly Halls of Ivy will become part of 
a book, Compulsory Miseducation, to 
be published in October by Horizon 
Pres. A caustic analyst of our social 
and educational systems, Goodman num- 
bers among his published works Grow- 
ing Up Absurd, The Community of 
Scholars and the recent Making Do. 

In addition to going back to cam- 
pus, PLAYBOY returns to a favorite hunt- 
ing ground in Part I of a two-part article 
by Will Iversen, The Pious Pornog- 
raphers Revisited. Bill, who wrote our 
al piece seven years ago under the 
pseudonym of Ivor Williams (he was 
then a contributor to the women's maga- 
zines he was examining for us), sub- 
merges himself once more in the strange 
sexual hypocrisy practiced by the wom- 
en's magazines to show us what changes 
the intervening years have wrought. 

"The subject of our September Playboy 
Interview—a man called a pornographer 
by some, an important literary influence 
by most—is the controversial Henry Mil- 
ler. The interview was conducted for us 
by another noted writer, pravnoy con- 
tributor Bernard Wolfe. Bernie says of 
his long-time comradeship with the au- 
thor of the famous Tropic of Cancer: “J 
first met Henry im 1940. I was living in 
a SSTa-month termite roost in New 
York’s Chinatown; Henry moved into a 
midtown room.with-adjoining air shaft. 
Today we live in roomy houses in West 
L.A. and greenery has been added to 
our lives—some that grows, some that 


folds. Neither of us is fighting 

Youth, Love, Death, an allegorical 
trilogy in miniature by J. P. Don- 
leavy, author of The Ginger Man, heads 
a bright lineup of fall fiction. Donleav 
born in New York and educated in Dub- 
lin, now lives on the Isle of Man. His 
PLaysoy contribution will soon be pub- 
lished by Little, Brown as part of a 
short-story collection, Meet My Maker: 
The Mad Molecule. 

Daniel A. Jenkins, creator of our Fast- 
paced fictional excursion behind the 
boob tube, Bertram and the Networks, 
has had years of television experience 
to draw on for authenticity of back- 
ground. Onetime TV editor of The 
Hollywood Reporter and long-time Hol- 
lywood bureau chief for TY Guide, Jc 
ns is currently in the PR dodge. 
This issue also presents John Tomer- 
lin's harrowing Side by Side, a tale of 
The versatile Tomerlin 
has a book on European Grand Prix auto 
racing and a novel on the Revolutionary 
War in the works. 

Humor also abounds within. Jean 
Shepherd, the nabob of the night people, 
takes us on another excursion into his 
In a boyhood in Grover Dill and the 
Tasmanian Devil. Accompanying the 
manuscript for How to Be a Jewish 
Mother by Dan Greenburg (who recently 
debuted in this magazine with July's 
Snobs’ Guide to Status Cars) was this 
note from his mother regarding the work 
in general and her son, the writer, in 
particular: “I haven't actually read what 
he has to say—but I'm sure it’s very 
pleasant if he wrote it. You'd think that 
it wouldn't be a hardship on a young 
man who writes so nicely to write an 
occasional letter to his mother who loves 
him, but it seems that there are more 
important things to a young man these 
days than his mother" A booklength 
version containing lots of additional in- 
struction—complete mit glossary and 
aptitude tests—will be published in 
October by Price/Stern/Sloan, the zestful 
firm that has brought out such humor 
handbooks as Elephants, Grapes & Pick- 
les and The Very Important Person 
Desk Diary. 

The American literary scene is the 
poorer for the death this year of Ben 
Hecht. A regular contributor to PLAYBOY, 
Hecht wrote id ant Letlers 
from Bohemia just before he died. A 
portrait of the pre-Beat beat poet Max- 
well Bodenheim, it forms part of a book, 
with the same title, to be published in 
October by Doubleday. 

"This month's praypoy 
graced by cyefilling pictor 
Nudest Peter Sellers and the 
Elke Sommer features filmdom’s fun- 
niest gentleman and sexiest young lady 
in scencs from their new movie, 4 Shot 
in the Dark, plus additional scenes, from 
her earlier films, on the awesome Elke 
Sommer fuselage, 


Nudest 


Playboy in Jamaica is a preview of 
the Jamaica Playboy Club-Hotel, which 
will soon be the poshest pleasure dome 
in all the West Indies. An added pictoi 
al attraction to the natural wonders of 
the island and the man-made wonders of 
the Glub is 1964 Playmate of the Year, 
Donna Michelle, disporting hersclf in 
the sun. 

Rounding out our September issue: 
a continuation of Editor-Publisher Hef- 
ners Playboy Philosophy; Current At- 
traclions, a tempting take-out on 
stoveless cooking by Food and Drink 
Editor Thomas Mario; Playmates Revis- 
ited—1961, reprising a gala year of gate- 
fold girls; Shel Silverstein's The Won- 
derful World of the Teevee Jecbies, and 
the irrepressible Little Annie Fanny. 

In toto, a handsome and heaping 
issue worthy of toting back to campus 
or down to the office. 


GREENBURG 


ONL 


H 


IDA 
L 


JENKINS 


vol. 11, no. 9 — september, 1964 


PLAYBOY. 


Nudest Store 


Campus Attire P. M6 


GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY BUILDING, 232 E. 
OWIO STREET, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611. RETURN 
INGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS SUBMITTED IF THEY ARE 
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ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS. CONTENTS 
COPYRIGHTED © 1964 SY HN PUBLISHING CO. INC. 
NOTHING MAY BE REPRINTED IN WHOLE OR IN FART 
WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUB- 
ISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND 
PLACES IN THE FICTION AND SEMIFICTION IN THIS 
PURELY COINCIDENTAL, CREOITS: COVER. HOD 
WEATHER HEWITT, PHOTO BY SHERMAN WEIsbURD. 
P 3 PHOTOS BY JERRY YULSMAN, JERRY BAUER. 
ROBERT PARENT, MARIO CASILLI; P. 77 PHOTOS BY 
CASILLI; P. 86103 PHOTOS EY POMPEO POSAR 
(14), DON BRONSTEIN, J. S. TYNDALE BISCOE. 
JOHN LAUCHEAD, JOHN BOSS; P. 115 LOWER RIGHT 
LARRY GORDON; P. 125 PHOTO BY UPI: P. 131- 
141 FOTOS BY GEORGE MICHALK (6), DENIS 
CAMERON (14), DALMAS (4), LAWRENCE SCHILLER: 
P. M3 PHOTO BY O'RCURKE: P, 147 FASHIONS FROM 
MORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLON. -197 PHOTOS 
SY CASILLI (6), FRANK BEZ, WEISBURD, RON VOGEL, 


PLAYBOY, SEPIEMBER, 1054, VOL. 11, NO. 9, PU 
LISHED MONTHLY BY KMH PUBLISHING CO., INC., 
MM NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. PLAYEOY 
SECOND CLASS POSTAGE PAID AT CHICAGO, ILLINOIS. 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: IN THE U.S., 38 FCR ONE YEAR, 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL 
DEAR PLAYBOY... 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR. m MEC: 
PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK travel. -PATRICK CHASE 65 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM — : 
THE PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY —ed — HUGH M. HEFNER 71 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: HENRY MILLER—candid conversation. 
THE PIOUS PORNOGRAPHERS REVISITED —orticle ~ WILUAM IVERSEN 92 
HOW TO BE A JEWISH MOTHER—humor DAN GREENBURG 97 
PLAYBOY IN JAMAICA —pictorial essay... TENTON 
SIDE BY SIDE—fiction. Ls JOHN TOMERUN 104 
THE DEADLY HALLS OF IVY—opinion.... s -PAUL GOODMAN 107 
PLAYBOY'S PIGSKIN PREVIEW —sporis... one ANSON MOUNT 109 
MIDNIGHT SPECIAL —attir E ~- ROBERT L GREEN 113 
DUTCH TREAT—playboy's playmate of the month... 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor : 
CURRENT ATTRACTIONS—food... .. sies THOMAS MARIO 122 
LETTERS FROM BOHEMIA nostalgia... — BEN HECHT 125 
YOUTH, LOVE, DEATH—fiction 4. P. DONIEAVY 126 
THE NUDEST PETER SELLERS AND THE NUDEST ELKE SOMMER-—piclorial...... 131 
BERTRAM AND THE NETWORKS fiction. DANIEL A. JENKINS 142 
THE WILY DECEPTION OF WASIL—ribold classic. Cn 145 
BIG MAN ON CAMPUS—attire/accouterments ROBERT L GREEN 146 
GROVER DILL AND THE TASMANIAN DEVIL—memoir. JEAN SHEPHERD 153 
PLAYMATES REVISITED—1961 —pictorial TEX 
THE PLAYBOY ART GALLERY: VAN GOGH SELF-PORTRAIT—humor. JIM BEAMAN 173 
THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF THE TEEVEE JEEBIES—s: SHEL SILVERSTEIN 174 
LITTLE ANNIE FANNY —sotire.... HARVEY KURTZMAN ond WIIL ELDER 227 


HUGH M. HEFNER editor and publisher 
A. C. SPECTORSKY associate publisher and editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 


JACK J. KESSIE managing editor VINCENT T. TAJIRI picture editor 


SHELDON WAX Senior editor; FRANK DE BLOIS, MURRAY FISHER, NAT LEHRMAN, DAVID 
SOLOMON associate editors: ROWERT L. GREEN fashion director; DAVID TAYLOR associate 
fashion editor; THOMAS mario food & drink editor; vaTRICK CHASE travel editor; 
J. PAUL Getty business c finance editor; CHARLES BEAUMONT, RICHARD 
GEHMAN, PAUL KRASSNER, KEN W. PURDY contributing editors; ARLENE BOURAS copy 
chief; MICHAEL LAURENCE, RAY WILLIAMS assistant edilors; BEV C MBERLAIN d5- 
sociate picture editor; BONNIE BOVIK assistant picture editor; MARIO CASILLI, LARRY 
GORDON, J. BARRY O'ROURKE, POMPEO POSAR, JERRY YULSMAN Slaf] photographers; 
STAN MALINOWSKI contributing photographer; rreo eraser models stylis 

AUSTIN associate art director; RON BLUME, JOSEPH PACZEK assislaut art directors; 
WALTER KRADENYCH art assistant; CYNTHIA MADDOX assistant cartoon editor; JOHN 
MASIRO production manager; FERN H. CANMANN assistant production manager + 
HOWARD W. LEDERER advertising director; JULES KASE eastern advertising man 
ager; Josten FALL midwestern advertising manager; JOSEPH GUENTHER Detroit 
advertising manager; NELSON FUTCH promotion director; DAN CZUBAK promotion 
art director; nemur Lorscn publicity manager; BENNY DUNS public relations 
manager; ANSON MOUNT college bureau; THEO FREDERICK personnel director; JANET 
PILGRIM render service; WALTER HOWARTH subscription fulfillment manager; ELDON 
SELLERS special projects; ROEKT rREUSS business manager & circulation director. 


Penny Edwards, 


s Tiparillo, at Shepheard's. 


“Cigars... 
Cigarettes. 
Tiparillos.. 


You'll be hearing that chant more and more, 
now that Tiparillos have arrived. And they 
have arrived— in all the right places with all 
the right people. Why are Tiparillos the last 
word in smoking pleasure? That neat, trim 
look is one reason. That pearly white tip is 
another. But most important today, Tiparillos 
give true satisfaction without inhaling. And 
all credit to the meticulous blending of the 
choicest Robt. Burns tobaccos. "Cigars... 
someday it may 

iparillos..." 


PLAYBOY 


She likes to blow her own horn. 
And she’s got the displacement 
for it, too: 90cc, compression ratio 
8:1. And hits 6.5 hp at 8000 rpm. 
That’s a lot of lungpower for a 
lightweight. 
What’s more, she tops 55 mph 
without pressing. Delivers 165 


Some tootin’ 


miles to a gallon of gas. She’s a 
four-stroker, OHV aircooled, of 
course, with 4-speed foot shift. 
Never fails to meet you more than 
halfway. 

Look for the new Honda 90. 
Always hits the right note. 

For address of your nearest 


dealer or other information, 
write: American Honda Motor 
Co., Inc., Dept. CX, 100 West 
Alondra, Gardena, California. 


HONDA 


world’s biggest seller! 


© 1964 AMERICAN nonoa KOTOR CO., INC 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


(EB ADDRESS PLAYBOY MAGAZINE * 232 E. OHIO ST., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


JACKPOT 
Herbert Gold’s contribution to your 
June issue really hit the jackpot here. It 
made me somewhat jumpy, even ner- 
vous. But my coming trip to Acapulco 
should cure that. 
Terry L. Pruss 
Corpus Christi, Texas 


Jeckpot by Herbert Gold, in your June 
issue, is surely the best story in PLAYBOY 
in lo these many years. It cuts to the nerve 
of the California dilemma, which is fair 
to become the American dilemma, and 
says about these times what Dostoievsky 
wanted to say about his times—only with 
high comedy and low wickedness of 
insight. Congratulations. 

Paul R. Smith 

Beverly Hills, California 


If Herbert Gold’s Jackpot was written 
for the purpose of reinforcing Vladimir 
Nabokov's opinion of Dostoievsky, it did 
it, I think, At any rate, the story 
confirmed the Nabokov feeling that “his 
sensitive murderers and soulful prosti- 
tutes are not to be endured for one mo- 
ment.” Would it be libelous to describe 
a living writer as also "a cheap sensa- 
tionalist, clumsy and vulgar”? 

Virginia Hatfield 
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 


Herbert Gold's golden gift of satire 
manifests itself masterfully in Jackpot. 
Not only was it the most entertainin| 
most soulful romp across the youthful 
American scene that I've read lately, but 
it was enlightening as well. The prob- 
Jem of values in our contemporary shift- 
ing society is one of utmost importance. 

John Minnis 
Phoenix, Arizona 


VAN DOREN VOTES 
When the issue containing The Nudest 
Jayne Mansfield came out [Junc 1963] 
I was very pleased, but I was even more 
pleased with The Nudest Mamie Van 
Doren. I am just wondering who will be 
lucky enough to be featured next June. 
Franklin Oneton 
Atlanta, Georgia 


Mamie Van Doren looks like she’ 


Es 


212 E. OMIO ST., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 6061. SUBSE 
CANADA, $20 FOR THREE YEARS, $18 FOR TWO YEAR: 
ALLOW 30 DAYS FOR NEW SUBSCRIPTIONS AND REI 
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MY SIN 


a most 
provocative perfume! 


been celebrating too long, too often. 
Frank Bluemlein 
New York, New York 


You've done it again! Your June issue 
layout on Mamie Van Doren and her 
latest picture, Three Nuts in Search of 
a Bolt, has theater owners clamoring for 
the film, proving again what I already 
knew from a previous experiencc—that 
a layout in PrAvsoY is worth a hundred 
thousand billboards, 

I believe you will be interested to 
learn that a: ect result of a similar 
layout you published a year ago, on 
Jayne Mansheld in Promises, Promises!, 
that picture, which was supposed to be 
a flop (all the major distributors refused 
it, saying it wouldn't make a dime), 
wound up in third place in Boxoffice 
magazine's annual barometer of out- 
standing hits. This means that in the 
theaters in which it played, the box- 
office percentage of our film was higher 
than any other movie exhibited during 
the year, except for Cleopatra and Son 
of Flubber. 

There is no doubt that your picture 
story on Promises! was directly respon- 
sible for several hundred thousand dol- 
lars in additional grosses at the box 
office. 

Tommy Noonan, President 

Harlequin International Pictures, Inc. 

Hollywood, California 


FLEMING PASSION 
I have just finished reading Ian Flem- 
ing's latest James Bond novel, You Only 
Live Twice. This serialization was one 
of the best ever published in PLAYBOY. 
Harry Dealaman 
Johnson City, New York 


Your June issue was great! Being an 
avid James Bond fin, 1 could hardly 
wait for the final installment of Flem- 
ing's new novel. It was well worth the 
wait, however, 

Peter Giulviette 
Briarcliff Manor, New York 


When they hand out prizes for lor 
winded overelaboration, then my vote 
will go to lan Fleming, the British “gen- 
ius." One of his stories is more than 


LANVIN 
the bet pufer Bi Tuto 


Purse size $3; Spray Mist $5; 
"Toilet Water from $3; (plus tax) 


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SUTTER ST., Yi , RODENT E. 


7 


o — 
"THAT MAN’ 


REVLON 


A GENTLEMAN'S COLOGNE 


AFTER-SHAVE LOTION 
SPRAY TALC AND SDAP 


enough. The Three Stooges affect me 
the same way: their comic slap-around 
routine is funny but once. 

NN. R. Dussaule 

Elk Grove Village, Illinois 


Bravo! Ian Fleming has done it 
ain. In my opinion his skill as an ad- 
venture writer is unsurpassed. I thor- 
oughly enjoyed his latest and most 
exciting novel. 


Peter Graf 
lthaca, New York 


Tan Fleming is truly remarkable. After 
the worst start of any of his novels (it 
read like a parody of his other works), 
You Only Live Twice turned out to be 
one of his best. And that ending! Only 
an author so closely followed by his fans 
would dare it. Shades of Conan Doyle 
and the Reichenbach Falls! 

Michael L. Linah 
Brooklyn, New York 


I commend and congratulate you on 
your publication of rhe latest James 
Bond novel. As an avid reader of long 
standing, I must say, with all conviction, 
that not for many years have T read a 
novel that contained all of the elements 
ary to hold my attention as has 
lan Femin latest. effort. 

Phil E. Kinzer 

Knoxville, Tennessee 


POHLING PLACE 

Frederik Pohl's June article, Inlima- 
tions of Immortality, greatly aroused my 
interest. When Pohl mentioned the fact 
that transplanting corneas is as routine 
as an appendectomy, did he mean that 
these operations are similar in the re- 
spect that they are easy to perform, or 
did he mean that they occur as often as 
appendectomics? 


Chet Goluch 
Ottawa, Ontario 
He meant that they ave as easy to 
perform 


Kudos to Frederik Pohl for pointing 
out so perceptively and absorbingly that 
man doesn’t spend all of his time trying 
to destroy himself. It is pleasant to find, 
among the prophets of gloom and doom, 
a voice that states in knowledgeable 
terms that there 


re many of us who arc 
busily engaged in the business of pre- 
serving and prolonging human life. 
John Brennan 
Boston, Massachusetts 


I find it difficult to believe that the 
same magazine could publish, 
ment, the profound truths which Lenny 
Bruce expressed in his autobiography, 
and at the next, give voice to the crip- 
pled conjectures of Frederik Pohl. 

David S. Ogden 
Lafayette, California 


t one mo 


Frederik Pohl's Intimations of Immor- 


tality is more popular medical fantasy 
than sound knowledge. Mainly, he offers 
half-truths to make a point that full- 
truths would deny. Two specific in- 
stances are typical: He says, “The great 
bacterial killers of all previous ages have 
one by one been brought under control.” 
True. What he fails to mention is that 
new bacterial killers, and other diseases, 
have taken their place. We are no better 
off on that score than we were 30 years 
ago. He also says, “We don't cure dia- 
betes, but diabetics rarely die of their 
discase; insulin and other ther 
the disease irrelevant.” Diabetics rarely 
die of their disease now, true; so they 
live to reproduce and often pass the dis- 
ease on to their descendanis—leaving 
mankind as a whole no better off than 
before. 

The truth about our health picture is 
known and acknowledged by medical 
theoreticians, but it seldom reaches the 
public eye—because the public likes to 
be fed what it wants to believe. Check 
the Siatistical Abstract of the United 
States, and other sources of genuine in- 
formation, and you will discover a radi- 
cally different picture from the one Pohl 
suggests. We are in a bad way, and we 
are getting no bette 
30 percent of the U. S. population suffers 
right now from chronic diseases; an ad. 
ditional 20 to 25 percent will spend 
some time in a mental institution or will 
be allowed freedom only because of se- 
dation. Life expectancy past the age of 
45 is little greater than it was 30 years 
ago and is shorter than t 
ropean nations today—and even the 
slight improvement can be attributed to 
better sanitation, etc. (More persons 
reach the age of 45, hence more older 
people.) There is no basis here for 
Pohl's argument that medical science is 
getting so good that we are headi 
toward immortality! There are wishful 
thinkers who will delight in his dreams, 
but others who will remain convinced 
that the personality should not continue 
on indefinitely. I am one of the latter, 

Robert Dolling Wells, President 
New Individualism Foundation 
Mercer Island, Washington 

The desirability of personality exten- 
sion is arguable, certainly, but it seems 
to us a subjective matter. Pohl, of course, 
was nonpartisan, merely explaining and 
discussing the prospects for it. You accuse 
Pohl of fantasy rather than sound knowl- 
edge. There is some justice to this charge 
Since his article was extrapolative and 
prophetic, he could not—and did not— 
present his predictions as facts. Bul he 
avers, and our own research confirms, 
that his vision of the future was based on 
facts and on observable trends. To wit: 

We no longer have world-wide and 
runaway epidemics from bacterial killers, 
despite the fact that mutant strains may 


pics make 


healthwise: 25 to 


of some 


Eu. 


(For Mathematics Majors) 


Ivy vest reverses to traditional 
Tattersall check. 


Natural shouldertrim-line 
jacket; lapped seams, hooked 
vent. Pull-out handkerchief 


matches lining. 
Post-Grad slacks Piper slacks in 
tomatch jacket. contrasting shade, 
Belt loops; Beltless; 
regular pockets, off-seam pockets. 


| | 
Solve the equation of the all CY suit 


If this h.i.s suit consists of jacket, Post-Grad slacks, Piper slacks and reversible vest—how many ways can you wear the 
suit and how long will it take you to geta date with a Playmate? Answer: put on the combination you like bestthen turn to 
the center gatefold; she's waiting for you to take her out. The 4 pieces, tailored of luxurious Reverse Twist in soft new. 
clay tones; also Cambridge, Black, Olive; only $39.95 (slightly higher in the West). Zippers by Talon. At educated stores 
or write h.i.s, 16 East 34th Street, NewYork, N.Y. 10016. 


PLAYBOY 


10 


AVE A 
LITTLE 


A friend in need—that's 
Hennessy! Have a flask of 
Hennessy handy, any time, for 
anyoccasion.This convenient, 
economical small size is per- 
fect for your home, or in your 
suitcase when you travel. 

Most important—make sure 
it's Hennessy. It's America's 
most popular cognac brandy. 


HENNESSY 


COGNAC BRANDY 


84 PROOF « SCHIEFFELIN & CO., NEW YORK 


prove resistant for a while. Medical evi- 
dence to date, however, makes it very 
clear that new antibacterial medicines, 
or new improvements on the old ones, 
are developed in ample time to prevent 
epidemics of the new, mutant bacterial 
diseases. 

Regarding diabetes, it is entirely in 
the realm of probability that medical re- 
searchers will discover a means of elim- 
genetically transmitted metabolic 
diseases by changing the metabolic struc- 
ture of the individual, and/or the gene 
structure of afflicted parents-to-be, Mean- 
while, since diabetes can be controlled, 
it is no longer unserviceable to have 
diabetics sire children, Since diabetes 
does not now have a fatal or crippling 
efject on those afflicted, thanks to con- 
trol of the disease, it is not true that 
we are no belter off than we were before. 

You comment that more people reach 
the age of 45, bul also say that 25 percent 
to 30 percent of the population suffers 
from chronic diseases. It is the increased 
segment of older people in the popula- 
tion that ts afflicted with chronic disease; 
in their age group, chronic disease is less 
than it ever was. And, for the most part, 
persons over 45 incurred their diseases 
before recent scientific breakthroughs 
which are benefiting younger genera- 
lions; fulure statistics for chronic dis. 
cases should reveal that fact. Similarly, 
it can be proven that even with the in 
crease of the older age group in the 
population as a whole, the absolute in- 
cidence of chronic disease for the total 
population las gone down. There is an 
other element to this: Some diseases 
that used to be fatal are now chronic. 
This is a medical advance—though a 
somewhat two-edged one. 

The apparent increase in mental ill 
ness reflects improved detection and di- 
agnosis ai least as much as it does other, 
nonmedical factors (the tensions and 
strains of contemporary life, jor ex- 
ample). Today, people are classified as 
mentally ill who—a few generations ago 
—iwould never have come under medi- 
cal attention, but would have been con- 
sidered. eccentric, odd, fighly, slightly 
touched, a bit dotty, strange, and all the 
other euphemisms for unbalanced peo- 
ple who went untreated. 


Frederik Pohl's Zutimations of Immor- 
tality is certainly a very interesting arti- 
cle. It rea in medicine u 
is being worked on today and carries it 
to its maximum conclusions. 

Louis R. Head, M. D. 
Chicago, Illinois 


kes every 


DANISH DELIGHTS 

Playboy on the Town in Copenhagen 
was extremely well written about a won- 
derful place every bachelor (or any man 
who can get away alone) must visit in his 
lifetime. It describes so many of the 
places that I managed to visit in 1959 
and 1960 with my then wife, that 1 am 


determined to spend my three-week 
vacation there in 1965—and this time 
without any attachments 

Carl J. Pauen 

Monterey Park, California 


our article in the June issue, Playboy 
on the Town in Copenhagen, giving 
résumé of Denmark's dazzling capital, 
was of great interest. Your pictorial illus- 
trations were superb 

Donald E. Leidig 
Pensacola, Florida 


I had been looking forward to the 
June issue with real anticipation be- 
cause of the article on Copenhagen. I 
can now say that it was truly a mar 
velous job of reporting. 

A great deal of what was said was very 
familiar to me, because last year I w 
Copenhagen, amd spent three glorious 
weeks in that beautiful, fantastic city. 
Most of the night spots spoken of were 
truly mecting places for people of many 
nationalities. In all, I spent nine weeks 
in Europe and I did not find a city 
throughout the rest of the Continent 
where the people were friendlicr or 
more hospitable—actually the Danes 
can't do enough to make you feel at 
home. Danish women are known 
throughout the world, and rightfully so 
they are so very beautiful and 
quick to take you to their hearts and 
hearths. Your reporter did a beautiful 
job of making me very nostalgic and of 
re-ccating many days filled with excite- 
ment and good sport. I hope to return 
just as soon as possible. 

W. B. Hayden 
New York, New York 


in 


c 


Imagine my surprise when 1 discov- 
cred from reading your Playboy on the 
Town in Copenhagen, in the Junc issue, 
tha it makes 712 different 
kinds of open-faced sandwiches. Up un- 
til that point, we had taken considerable 
pride in thc fact that our smørre- 
brédsjomfruer — (open-faced sandwich 
maidens, to you) managed to create 178 
separate smorrebréds for our menu. 
Needless to say, we are flattered that you 
credit us with such vast ingenuity and 
tistic imagination, but I think perhaps 
we should make do with our original 
claim. I think you arrived at the 712 
figure by counting the 178 entries fou 
times each—depending on which of four 
kinds of bread is used. Actually, the 
bread type is different, but the delicacy 


our resta 


on top is the 
In any event, we were delighted with 
the Copenhagen write-up. It was a great 
picce of research and writing. 
Per Davidsen 
Oskar Davidsen's Restaurant 
Copenhagen, Denmark 


me, 


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Re your article on Copenhagen in 
your June issue: It was the best I have 
ever Seen on that city. As an unmelan- 
choly Dane I can further state it is all so 
truc. You are forcing me to make anoth- 
er trip to my swinging home town 

John S. Pedersen 
Los Angeles, California 


SHEPHERD'S FLOCK 
Hairy Geriz and the 47 Crappies 
proves, I think, that Jean Shepherd is 
not only the most perceptive and provoc- 
ative talker of our age, but one of the 
funniest writers. PLAYBOY could do itself, 
me and literature in general a favor by 
printing more Shepherd. 
Roger Price 
New York, New York 


Since my discovery of Jean Shepherd, 
I've tried to listen to his program when- 
ever the chance arises. Alter receiving the 
June issue of pLavnoy, the first thing T 
read was his Hairy z and the 47 
Crappies. May more of these memoirs be 
expected? 


Pete Friedman 

Brooklyn, New York 

Another of Shepherd's manic trips 

down memory lane is in this issue and 
more will be forthcoming, 


The June rravsov is absolutely 
first class. What really made it so was 
Jean Shepherd's Hairy Gertz aud the 47 
Crappies. In days gone by. Shep used to 
be on WOR Radio Sunday nights for 
four hows and we, like acolytes, 
crammed eight guys into an old 47 Plym- 
outh outside Weaver's Drugstore to lis- 
ten for the password, the challenge, 
“Excelsior!” The reply, “Seltzer boule,” 
gladdened our hearts. 

We called him one night from a 
phone booth at the drugstore. lt took us 
an hour and a half to get through, but it 
was worth it 

Bill Finley 
Philadelph 


Pennsylvania 


Let's get rid of the centerfold and re- 
place it with pictures of Jean Shepherd. 
George Leary 
Glendale, New York 


CONGRATULATIONS ON THE JEAN SHEP- 
HERD FISHING MEMOIR. THIS MONOLOGIST. 
LOGS WELL. ENCORE, PLEASE. 

H. LEE HELM 
NEW YORK, NEW YORK 


"To Jean Shepherd from Lake County, 
with love for Hairy Ger 
the 47 Crappies; I'm still chuckling. 

I was there. I remember the 
well. It was August 17th 
who fell out of the boxt. He was lower- 
ing the anchor out of the front end of 
the boat when another uncle, trying to 
be the first to get his line in the water, 
caught him on the side of his head with 


it was my 


the lead sinkers while whipping his pole 
back and forth. 

R. Hopper 

East Alton, Illinois 


I would like to thank you for the pub- 
lication of the memoir by Jean Shep- 
herd. Being acquainted with his work, 
having interviewed him for a news- 
paper, and being one of those night. peo- 
ple who audit his shows, I was pleased to 
see him included in a national magazine 
of PLaynoy’s stature. 

Daniel McGlynn 

Brooklyn, New York 


The story in your June 1964 issue by 
Jean Shepherd is terrific. Please print 
more by her in the Future: 

As a matter of fact, if she looks as 
good us she writes, perhaps you could 
induce her to pose for Playmate of the 
Month sometime. 


Roy E. Hoffmaster 

Annport, Pennsylvania. 

Although you're wrong om gender, 

we're sure author. Shepherd. appreciates 
your sentiments. 


BERGMAN APPLAUSE 
Until reading the interview with 

Ingmar Bergman in your June issue, I 
had abandoned all hope that the movie 
would ever become an art form. Perhaps 
the rash of entrepreneurs and promote 
who permeate the motion-picture indu 
try had much to do with my pessimism. 
Your v with Mr. Bergman, how 
ever, has rejuvenated my idealistic vi- 
sion of what a film can and should be. 
His films and his person convey lasting, 
meaningful and beautiful things. 

Marty Kaw 

Los Angeles, California 


Please accept my sincere congratul 
tions for the superb interview with 
Bergman in your June issue. I can r 
member the wite, distorted cover stor 
Time had about him a few years ago. 
Your sincere, honest and penetrating 
questions were matched by lus replies. 


Your magazine is worth the price just 
for these great interviews alone. 
Ralph C. Johnson 


Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 


After haying read several articles in 
German and French literary publica- 
tions concerning Ingmar Bergman, I 
was quite anxious (and, I must add, 
somewhat apprehensivo) to read your 
June interview. 1 can only state that its 
candor and naturalness far exceeded the 
scope of the foreign publications. Cer- 
tainly, Ingmars desire to further the 
cause of rational emotional-intellectual 
communication between the sexes, 
on love and knowledge rather than 
and ignorance, is amply demonstrated 
by the PLavgoy ethos. 

G. LeGrand Reed 
Riverside, California 


(For Classics Majors) 


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SCOUTING REPORT 

Being a loyal member of the B. 
(Boy Scouts of America) and having at 
tained the rank of Scoutmaster, it is my 
duty to register an official complaint on 
your June s Uncle Shelby's Scout 
Handbook. This may seem like good, 
trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly. 
courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, 
thrifty, brave, clean fun to you, but to 
some of us, this is às much a part of life 
as PLAYBOY, and what it 

It would seem to me thi a 
caliber could pick on a more 
1 ap subject, like sports, unions 
armed forces, politics and the like, and 
leave the 11-t0-15-year-olds alone. After 
all, most of them don't even read your 
magazine, 


A. 


Jack Hanthorn. (B.5.A.) 
Phoenix, Arizona 
Possibly the Boy Scout oath should 
include something on having a sense of 
humor, Jack. 


You forgot to have a U. S. Scout's oath: 
On Uncle Shelby's honor, FI do my best 
to take what they give and steal the rest. 

J. R. Valentine 
Farmington, Michigan 


VIDE VARGAS 
Thice cheers for your gre 
and your reply to Mr. E. A. Kud 
leuer attacking the 
a Negro girl in the March issue. 
David E. Johnson 
Rolla, Missouri 


1 was completely taken aback by a 
June letter from ate reader who 
declared. that you'd infringed upon his 
privacy by integrating” girls of varied 
races in the Vingis drawings. Ed 
say. E care mot whether the girl be 
Caucasian, Oriental or Negro—bcauty 
is beauty, and appreciate it for what 
it is. 


Max Stern 
Los Angeles, California 


l was vcry impressed by your answer 
to E. A. Kucharski of 5 ta, Florida, 
concerning ihe Negro pinup in the 
March issue, Mr, ic genius 
d 1 Jook forward every month to more 
ps by the master 

Kenneth L. E 
Baltimore, Ma 


melstein 
ach 


Just a line to tell you how gratified 1 


Was at seeing your retort to Mr. E. A. 
Kucharskís leer concerning your 
March. Vargas. A tip of my hat to Mr. 
Vargas and a special vote of thanks to 


PLAYBOY. 
Roger Hoeft HI 
Elma, New York 


DONNA MICHELLE 
1 have never written to a mag; 
fore, and I doubt that 1 e 


to one again; but I had to write you to 
tell you how much I enjoyed the May 
issue of PLavnoy. I think the section on 
Donna Michelle was a true work of art. 
When a girl is as beautiful as Donna, I 
think she should reveal her beauty, as 
long as she does it in as artistic a manner 
as she has in rLavBoyv. 
R. J. Williams 
Manville, Rhode Island 


On Tuesday evening, May 26, 1 came 
home with my wile and in our parking 
lot spotted a pink convertible Must: 
Wondering if it could possibly be the 
one I had heard so much about, | looked 
at it more closely and there it was, with 
a Rabbit emblem on cach door and a 
plate inside reading CUSTOM-MADE FoR 
DONNA MICHELLE. I knew then that it was 
the car of the Playmate of the Ycar. You 
can imagine how surprised I was, know 
ing that this beauty was in my town of 
only 15,000 people. 

I waited for about 45 minutes to see 
her and to ask for her autograph 
but could wait no longer. (1 am a milk- 
n d must get up at three A.M.) My 
wife then wrote a little note and we put 
it in her car with a pen and autograph 
book. My wife said, “IE she's not a snob 
she'll sign it and put it in your car for 
you." 

I would like to take this opportunity 
to tell everyone that Donna is no snob. 
She took a few minutes out from what 
was probably a t ato- 


ht schedule to 


ph my book and put it in my car. I 
wish I could have seen her and thanked 
her, but since 1 could not, j like to 


ank her in your magaz 
can know what a swell gi 
RS 


Palatin 


. Illinois 
see "Playboy in 


For more of Donna, 
Jamaica" in this issue. 


WORDS TO WISER 
1 read William Wiser's May story, I’m 
Just a Traveling Man, with great pleas- 
indeed I did the whole issue. In 
apressed by the high 
and the variety, of the fiction 
you publish in your magazine. I 
look forward to reading other good sto- 
ries in Pravwoy in the future 
Walter Sherwood 
Berkeley, California 


William Wiser's Pm Just a Traveling 
Man was not only a moving and sensi- 
tive little story, but also relreshing 


author can 
bout a Negro for his hu- 


American 


proof. that 

finally write 

man interest, and. not for his blackness, 
Ted Solis 
University of Haw 
Honolulu, Haw. 


FOOD FOR THOUGHT 
1 certainly enjoyed The Food of the 
Gods |erAynov, May 1964], which Arthur 


(For Psychology Majors) 


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PLAYBOY 


16 


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S Martinis, = 


A d 


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ae scl rt 


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When the, Worid w 


Mis Digart it plun oer 
Yeu. Moly, Yeu" Always 
Hut the Ore You 1 


KINGSTON TRIO 
TIME TO THINK 


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Young 
Mans 
Mood 


C. Clarke handled with his usual skill. 
The theme of ca2nibalism is obviously 
still good for a new twist. I am reminded 
of Two Bottles of Relish, by Lord Dun- 
sany, and of a story, also science fiction, 
by my wife and myself, called. Pariah 
Girl (published under the pen name of 
Boyd Ellanby). Congratulations on hav- 
ing Clarke write for you. 

William C. Boyd, 

Professor of Immunochemistry 

Schooi ol Medicine 

Boston University 

Boston, Massachusetts 


GRAND SLAM 
T thoroughly enjoyed the May issue of 
PLAYBOY, particularly Alfred Sheinwold’s 
rticle, Big League Bridge. His sty'e and 
knowledge of the game kept the article 
fresh and exciting. 
M. 


NAME GAME 
I enjoyed your name game (April 
Playboy After Hours)—thought up a lew 
myself. Dean Martin, president of a bird 
college; Frank Bolling, straightforward 
tenpin playing; Johnny Cash, money for 
a pay toilet; Ernest Hemingway, sincere 
method of sewing; Bobby Ba one 
who turns the heat on law-enforcement 
and Dick Chamberlain, a minis- 
n charge of detectives. 
Russ Lynch 
Mobile, Alabama 


THAI THAT BINDS 

Since September of last year there has 
been a Camp Playboy Thailand in this 
far-off land. Camp Playboy has gained 
some fame in this part of the world and 
is talked about in Vietnam and the big 
city of Bangkok. The camp consists of a 
microwave radio relay station and only 
has à few (15 to 20) men assigned to it. 
But this is a unit with a very high mo- 
rale and much prestige: 

They have just moved the radios of 
mp Playboy (Surin) to a new location. 
So we now have Camp Playboy Thai- 
land (B) which is located in the small 
Thai town of Buriram. As you can sce, 
this small part of the U.S. Army is 
trying to carry on the PLaywoy traditions 
Southeast Asia. Long live rrAvsov, 
the mag that makes you glad 

2nd Lt. Daniel A. Tweel 
Buriram, Thailand 


PLAYBOY YEAS AND NAYS 

I'd like to add my voice to the thou- 
sands of others in praise of PLAYBOY. 
Your stories are fabulous, your articles 
artistic, and your women—perlect! When 
I decide to shop for a suit, shirt, hi-fi 
equipment or aftershave lotion, all I 
have to do to find the best is refer to 
your ads, and from there to your Reader 
Service. In short, you have contained in 


everything a man desires for 
ashion and frivolity. 

Budd Case 
Sacramento, California 


your pa 
thought, 


Your warped mind should be washed 
with lye soap and I would like to make 
the soap. We live in a God-fearing na- 
tion and you do this to it. I wish you 
had to live in Russia. God gave us the 
privilege of choosing right from wrong 
That is why hell is so crowded. We, as 
teachers, dedicate our lives trying to 
teach our youth that "God's in His heay 
en—/All’s right with the world,” but He 
also lets people like you live. How can 
you sleep nights or days? How can any 
one with brains to be able to be an edi 
tor do what you do? 

Mrs. Audrey Cantlin 
Ou School 
Independence, Missouri 


Just a note to compliment you and 
your staff on the consistently high quality 
of photography, printing. page make-up 
and outstanding art in your magazine. 

R. C. Rice, Design Coordinator 

The Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co. 

Akron, Ohio 


CLEVELAND CLEAVING 
Unlike Cleveland readers Zappala and 
Sobol, who obviously had their tongues 
in their cheeks when they wrote the let- 
ter published in your January journal, I 
can olfer nothing but enthusiastic, if 
somewhat belated, congratulations for 
publishing that long-overdue reference, 
"squareasallCleveland"! [In Love, 
Deaih and the Hubby Image by William 
Iversen, September 1963.] Tt is joyously 
received by all anti-Clevclanders living 
in "The Squarest of the Square, The 
Cleveland Chamber of Commerce will 
probably deny the truth of the fol- 
lowing statements, but they're a pretty 
square bunch anyway. What Clev 
will not admit that his city is: 


lander 


1. So square that the kids buy glue 
to build airplanes. 

- So square that the phone books 

win awards. 

So square that the head of the 

sportscar club drives a Henry J- 

4. So square that they opened a 
gourmet shoppe so they could sell 
Gheez Whiz. 

5. So square they banned Lady and 
the Tramp. 


w 


George Petlows 

Cleveland, Ol: 
S. The current slogan here is: "Cleve- 
nd—The Go-Ahead City." Transla 
tion: There's no action here, so let's go 
ahead to Ashtabula! If this letter reaches 
print, you'll probably receive a storm of 
protest from indignant Clevelanders . . . 
all written in crayon. 


Howtokeepwateroff a duck's back. 


Ducks, being naturally water-repellent, historically had a 
certain unfair advantage over other animals. 
Then London Fog started making Maincoats, and humans 
also became water-repellent. But still unsatisfied, London Fog added some 
extra advantages to the Maincoat? that no duck had ever dreamed of. 
For instance, when Winter comes and the pond freezes over, 
there's no need to fret. London Fog's Andes Meincoat has a luxurious 
pile lining of "Orlon"? acrylic, that has it all over feathers for warmth. 


And when the weather turns warm again, the entire lining zips out 
for cool comfort. That's why the Andes is perfect for migrations, 
Spring or otherwise, to any climate in the world. 

Moreover, no one’s ever going to be called a dirty bird in an 
Andes Maincoat. Its shell has been given a special new treatment 
that’s great for spot as well as rain protection. 

"There's no question about it— 
any human in a London Fog Maincoat is a lucky duck. 


mrs cerne FOVERE UA Ten MNATUPA GLE CR mom etur aries, oscuro LOT ON FOS 


BALTIMORE 11, MD. 


Out of the fastest Indianapolis 500 in history comes an all-new 


AS 


A INTRODUCING FIRESTONES 
|) NEW NYLON 500° 


with wrap-around tread & gold-stripe styling 


V gp 


7 2297. 
2 a 
DAL, 
AL 


CE 


tire for your greater mileage and highway safety, from... 


e Sons 


GREATEST TIRE NAME IN RACING 


A.1. FOYT, 1964 winner at 
147,350 mph, shown above 
Teading the pack, says: "Fire- 
stone tires did a tr 

job. L went all the way 

a iire change,” 


This year Firestone again proved it was the greatest 
e name in racing by winning in the Indianapolis 
500 for the 41st consecutive time. For the first time, 
the winning car went the full 500 miles without a 
tire change, and set a new speed record. In addi- 
tion, every car that finished was on Firestones; not 
one of them changed a tire 
Now. the same Sup-R-Tuf rubber and Super-Weld 
body construction in durable Firestone race tires 
are available in Firestone tires for your car. And 
out of Firestone’s history-making triumph at 
Indianapolis comes the all-new Nylon "500" tire. 
Like Firestone race tires, the "500" features a wide 
wrap-around tread, bolstered shoulders and gold- 
stripe styling. The new wrap-around tread puts 


more rubber on the road for longer mileage and 
surer traction, especially on curves. The bolstered 
shoulders mean added rubber to reinforce the 
tread; you get arrow-straight stability even at 
turnpike speeds. The gold stripe marks the "500" 
as the tire built with the same durable Sup-R-Tuf 
rubber and super-strength nylon cord that made 
history at Indianapolis. And it's backed by Fire- 
stone's famous No-Limit, Road Hazard guarantee, 


You can charge the new Nylon "500" at your 
Firestone Dealer or Store. 

‘Sop-R-Tuf, Saper-Weld-— Firestone T. M. 
All Firestone passenger tives carry a guarantee against defects 
in workmanship. and materials for the lije of the original 


tread; replacements prorated om tread wear at then current 
Firestone prices. 


SMOKE ALL 7 


Smoke all seven filter brands 


Viceroy is scientifically made 


to taste the way you'd like a Tum [ and you'll agree: some taste 
. a f [] too strong ... while others 
filter Cigarette to taste. Soave, taste too light. But Viceroy— 


Not too strong... not too light... with the Deep-Weave Filter— 
n = tastes the way you'd like a filter 


Viceroy's got the taste that's right. M cigarette to taste. That's right! 


1964, Brown & Williamson Tobacco Corporation 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


FRE The menswear editor of Look is 
woman; the editor of its “Fi 
Women Only" page is a man. 


If Russia's latest venture into West- 
ermstyle commerce is any evidence of 
things to come in the Soviets’ master 
plan to “bury” us economically, the 
world will be safe for democracy for 
some time. Moscow's Soft-Drink Insti- 
tute has announced in fzvestia that 
a feasible method has been found for 
bottling kvass—a traditional Russian 
beverage which is said to be a cross be- 
tween wine and hard cider that smells 
like freshly baked rye bread—on a mass- 
production basis. Presaging the equally 
unique flavor of its coming ad campaign, 
the copywriter went on to wax rhapsodi 
cally gastrointestinal in its praises: 
Kvass is an excellent drink. It would go 
over beautifully on the world market 
Kvass invigorates, refreshes and quenches 
the thirst. It is tasty and aromatic. It 
has a beneficial effect on the digestive 
system and kills harmful bacteria. It reg- 
ulates the metabolism and the func- 
tions of the central nervous system. It 
promotes oxidation and reduction 
process in the respiration of living cells. 
It aids in the normal deposition of cal- 
cium in bone tissue and improves the 
cardiovascular system." Our suggested 
slogan: "Now it's kvass, for those who 
think Young Communist." 

Hard-Core Scatology of the Month, 
Advertising Division: the following copy 
from an ad in Chicago's North Loop 
News—"Here is an amazing American 
bathroom appliance made to do every- 
thing a French bidet does, and much 
more. With a flip of the finger you are 
washed clean with warm water and dried 
with warm air. Imagine! No bathroom 
tisue, ever. And feminine hygiene—so 
simple, quick and sure, you can hardly 
believe it. The American Bidet replaces 
the seat on your present fixture; makes 
its own warm water and warm 


MEN Too ... and a positive must for 
busy youngsters. Colors to match any de- 
cor." How about ms and HERS? 


Sign of the times posted outside the 
chaplain’s office a th Army com- 
mand post in SAG-RELIGIOUS 
CENTER, 


Cigarette sales, which tapered off for a 
few months following the release of the 
Surgeon General's report, have picked 
up again across the country—especially, 
we assume, in a Miles City, Montana, 
drugstore which now offers a special 
bonus with each purchase of 52 cartons 
of cigarettes: one free chest X ray. 


“Adult” entertainments that might be 
revamped for the subteen set: The 
Chapman Report Card, Suddenly Last 
Summer Vacation, Kitty on a Hot Tin 
Roof, By Mush Possessed, Lady Chatter- 
leys Steady, Picnic Under the Elms, 
Larry of Arabia, Days of Pop and Ice 
Cream, The Pretty American, The Cow- 
boy and ihe Nice Lady, How to Succeed 
in School Without Really Crying, The 
Moon Is Baby Blue, Anatomy of a Mali- 
ed, Nighty-Night of the Iguana, A Fun- 
ny Thing Happened on the Way to the 
Principal's Office, Last Year at Disney- 
land, The 400 Pats, The Tricycle Thief, 
The Man Who Came to Din-Din, and 
Arthur Kopit’s avantgarde farce, Oh 
Dad, Dear Dad, Mommie's Kissed You in 
the Closet and I’m Feelin’ So Glad. 


You won't want to miss Caterina Va- 
lente's act at the Persian Room of New 
York's Plaza Hotel, billed as follows in a 
recent issue of The New Yorker: “She 
docs it in six languages. With a guitar." 

Ever fascinated by “Timespeak,” that 
flashy exercise in editorial economy in- 
augurated by Time magazine with such 
word-playful semantic superimpositions 
as “videopus,” “cinemogul” and "panty- 
(this last is an undicsindustry 


coon” 


nabob), we herewith offer, gratis, a few 
new verbal pump primings—lest Time's 
whip-smart creative wellsprings run 
dry: brandiloquence: an announcer's 
expresive eulogizing of a manufac 
turer's product; crassassin: a vulgar 
murderer; samouarsity: Russian col 
legiate sport; elephantasies: a drunk- 
ard's delusions; tormentalily: sadistic 
psychology: thankletiquette: politeness 
in expressing gratitude for an anklet 
languorchardor: lazy lovemaking amid a 
rove of fruitbearing trees; manxiouster: 
a worried ejector of tailless cats; salad- 
derangement: à mania for chopping 
lettuce atop step stools: 
blasequestrianimosily: hatred of a self- 
satisfied horseman; sexpectantalizing. 
the expectation of toothsome femininity: 
shambition: feigned dreams of glory: 
and geriatrick: a dirty old man who 
frequents prostitutes. 

Over a story reporting the severance 
of the water pipe conneding the U.S. 
Naval Basc at Guantánamo with Com- 
munist Cuba a while back, a witty w 
in the city room of the Bloomington, 
Indiana, Pantagraph ran the following 
headline: “ADMIRAL ORDERS: DISMENGEK 
Y MAIN," 


nd radishes 


From our Best-Laid-Plans Department, 
Canadian Division, comes the followi 
intelligence: Discovering that their e 
tablishment had been looted overni 
officials of a Toronto bank recently be- 
gan congratulating themselves for the 
foresight in installing a secret movie 
camera, to record any untoward after- 
hours activity. Inspection revealed that 
the apparatus had indeed been trig- 
gered, but when the reel was developed, 
the bankers were treated not to a screen- 
ing of a burglary but of a rather unruly 
office party thrown by the clerical staff. 


Taxing our cedulity—but apparent 
ly truc—was a recent wireservice report 


25 


PLAYBOY 


A wolf in lamb's wool 


Woolama. Puts a gleam in a 

man's eye-irresistible to women. 

Full fashioned sweater; saddle shoulders; 
imported baby lamb's wool. 


a Lord Jeff....... 


of a ruling by an Australian court that 
monkeys working on sheep ranches 
be listed as dependents on income. 
returns. 


We offer a box of Snickers to anyone 
boasting a more impressive moniker 
than a gentleman currently insured by 
the John Hancock Mutual Life Insur- 
ance Company. Though listed terscly in 
its files as Hubert W. Wolfeschlegel- 
steinhausenbergerdorff, Sr, h 
purgated name, swears the 
Sun-Times, is Adolph Blaine Charles 
David l Frederick Gerald Hubert 
Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero 
Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman 
Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes 
Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenber- 
gerdorflwelchevoralternwareengewissenh- 
altschaeferswessenschafewarenwholgept 
egeundsorgfaltigkeibeschutzenvorangr 
endurchihrraubgierigfeindewelcheyoralt- 
ernzwolfhunderttausendjahresvorandiee- 
rscheinenvondererstcerdemenschder 
mschiflgenachtmittungsteinundsieben 
diumelektrischmotorsgebrauch| 


aftdersternwelchegehabtbewo- 
netenkreisedrehensichundwchi- 


ndernuerassevonverstandigmenschlichke- 
uenanl- 


itkonntefortpflanzenundsicherf 
ebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitn 
preifenvoranderer 
geschapfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, 
Sr. His friends call him Adolph. 


Heady Wine of Victory Department: 
Golf champion Arnold Palmer, in high 
spirits after sinking the putt that won 
him his fourth Masters title, was quoted 
in the Augusta, Maine, Kennebec Jour- 
nal as saying, “I feel like going out and 


laying agai 


Congratulations seem to be in order 
for the United Arab Republic, which 
adds to its Aswan Dam project and im- 
minent nuclear-power capacity an im- 
pressive television first, reported in the 
U.A. R. Fortnightly: "U.A.R. TV is 
only three years old, but transmits for 25 
hours a day, a figure not yet reached 
by other countries with a longer TV 
history." 


The fire chief of Ventura, California, 
announced recently that an increasing 
number of fires in home and commercial 
electric dryers are being cused, of all 
things, by the foamrubber padding in 
brassieres, which develops, he says, a 
very low ignition temperature after 
about six months of use. Falsie alarm? 

Incidental Architectural Intelligence: 
Among the sculptural adornments on 
the newly restored bell tower of the 
Eusebius Protestant Church in Arnhem, 
Netherlands, reports Reuter's, are stone 
likenesses not of the traditional gar- 


The Wonder Wed ot 
ANDY WILLIAMS} 


9004. "The most 
venturous, 


Teta The Wet nasse 


ec For My us 


Weathers Vines. The 
Sun Comes Dut, etc. 


[ STRAVINSKY 


ontacts 


9134, You oughta Be 
im Pictures, Louise, 
Heartaches, 9 more 


095, Also: Cai 
Lune, Adventure in 
Paradise, Taboo, etc. 


"BERNSTEIN 


8048. 


RAMBLIN 
Hew Christy Mirstres. 


YOUNG LOVERS 


VLADIMIR 


Pereyra. [| reat rrr 
pus S NR 
Fachmeninott jer Wo bearl |. | 
Schumann Fiat -harsens | 
rem om aw Exxon 


“lectrifying 9034. Also: A Taste 


- OVET- 


Loving aime, ete 


COLUMBIA 


STEREO TAPE CLUB 


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TWIN- E GREATEST HITS 
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Brocic And 1, Ama- mightiest and most Fortine, Blueberry Green Onions, Red Kind of Fool Am 12, 
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IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE FORTUNATE PEOPLE 
who own 4-track stereo tape playback equip- 
ment, you know the thrill of the near-perfect 
fidelity, the unsurpassed sound of tape. Now 
you have an exceptional opportunity to build 
an outstanding collection of superb sterec 
tapes at great savings through the most 
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By joining now you may have ANY FOUR of 
the magnificently recorded 4-track stereo 
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TO RECEIVE YOUR 4 PRE-RECCRDED STEREO 
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mail the coupon today. Be sure to indicate 
which Club Division best suits your musical 
taste: Classical or Popular. 

HOW THE CLUB OPERATES: Each month the 
Club's staff of music experts chooses out- 
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selections are described in the entertaining 
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receive free each month. 

You may accept the monthly selection for 
your Division . . . or take any of the wide 
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members of bath Divisions . . . or take no 
tape in any particular month. 


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any additional tapes .. . and you may dis- 
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FREE TAPES GIVEN REGULARLY. If you wish 
to continue es a member after purchasing 
five tapes you will receive — FREE — a 
4-track stereo tape of your choice for every 
two additional tapes you buy. 

The tapes you want are mailed and billed 
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(occasional Original Cast recordings some- 
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COLUMBIA STEREO TAPE CLUB 
Terre Haute, Indiana 


| COLUMBIA STEREO TAPE CLUB, Dept.430:3 | SEND ME 
Terre Haute, Indiana THESE FOUR 
I accept your special offer and have written TAPES 
RPM EN E RETE | i nies 
a small meiling and, handling charge. T. will below) 


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club: 


LJ CLASSICAL C POPULAR 


that I may select tapes from 

on. Y agree io purchase five 
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uiar Club price plus & small mailing and 
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& 4-track, pre-recorded tape of my choice 
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ccepi 


(d 


Y ein 
Name. 
[| pen 
[| 
1 Address... Mt 
Zip 
G ix ates... Ge. 


‘This oger is available only within. 
the continental limits of the U.S, 


TIL & Columbia Records Distribution Corp., 1004 


PLAYBOY 


inited States Steel 


[941 New York World's Foie 1964-1965 Corporation 


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THE FLEISCHMANN DISTILLING CORPORATION, NEW YORK CITY 


goyles but of such modern mythological 
figures as Donald Duck and the Thice 
Little Pigs. 


Our man in Washington reports 
that until it was explained that the 
wargame maneuvers then in prog- 
ress matched a “Red Army" against 
“Blue” one, Pentagon interoffice messen- 
gers were unde; bly embarrassed by 
the necessity of delivering official docu- 
ments suggestively stamped: FOR BLUE 
EYES ONLY. 


Disarmingly candid ad from ihe classi- 
fied pages of England's Yorkshire Eve- 
ning Post: “UNIVERSAL HEALTH CLUB Syr. 
membership for sale, half-price, owing to 
illness.” 

Bargain offer in a recent issue of the 
Wreiched Mess News (an odd little jour- 
nal of dissent published in West Yellow- 
stone, Montana, and emblazoned with 
eagles, stars, banners and Fourth-of July 
bunt Genuine United States of 
America One-Cent Pieces. Made of genu- 
ine copper (known to ancient. Greeks 
"Cyprian Brass), a truly beautiful metal 
admired the world over for its conduc- 
tive propei d minted by the 
United Stites Government (your. assur- 
ance of quality), your OneGent Picce 
carries a striking basrelicf. of Abraham 
Lincoln, “The Great Emancipator. The 
inspirational motto ‘In God We Trust 
d the patriotic word "Liberty" (a senti- 


raised lette 
Cent Piece is age-dated—the actual year 
in which the coin was created is clearly 
shown in raised Av: vals. The 
accuracy of this date is vouched for by 
United States Treasury. Moreover, it 
contains no moving parts, and poss 

a waferlike Me” thinness, appears to 
the naked eye to be perfectly round.” 
Available in limited supply, cach coin 
is sent postpaid, giftpackaged, with 
prompt orders also receiving "an unex- 
purgated translation of E Pluribus 
Unum.” The price? Only 50 cents apiece. 


Disquicting story line for The Oute 
Limits, an ABC science-fiction series, as 
listed on the TV page of The Seattle 
Daily Times—"Miriam Hopkins stars as 
Mrs. Kry, a recluse whose life revolves 
around the small black box into which 
her bridegroom disappeared on their 
wedding day in 1929." 


A local h school cafet lunch. 
menu item, printed in the Sterling, Colo- 
rado, Journal-Advocate, may prove ap- 
petizingly macabre to fans of PLAYBOY'S 
Gahan Wilson: ied children and 
gravy, vegetables, dessert.” 


Record shop proprietors beware: The 
Southport, North Carolina, Stale Port 


Pilot reports that “a city ordinance ban 
ning the sale of phonographic literature 
was unanimously adopted at a mecting 
of the board of aldermen of 12 March 
Persons convicted of dealing in phono- 
graphic literature can be given 30-day 
ed S50." 


terms and/or fi 


It may be a long wait, but we hope 
that fate someday wil] conspire to link 
an 


aprobable chain of circumstances in 
ha hypothetical rural-area protest 
is lodged against the decision of a six- 
member censorship group, headed by a 
blu ned Dix, to refuse accredit- 
ation for the amended version of a mul. 
tipart Tom Mix TV special episode 
emided River of Death. If it ever 
happens, Variety will be able to run a 
story about it under the headline "pix 
SIX NIX MIX STYX FLIX FIX: HIX KIX.” 


nose 


Only in America: On duty at the 
complaint desk of the Miami Police De- 
partment, deputy sheriff William Box 
reported to the Miami Herald the fol- 
lowing conversation with an anonymous 
caller: 

vorce: Police department? 

nox: That's right. 

voice: Any bookie arrests toda 

nox: I don't know. I'll check . . . No. 
No bookies arrested today 

voice: I just couldn't find my bookie. 
I thought maybe he had been arrested. 

tox: If you give me his name, I'll uy 
to check it out 

voice: That would be silly. He's prob 
ably just out for coffee. I'll try him later. 

End of conversation. 


BOOKS 


Exposés are not our favorite cup 
of tea, but The Invisible Government 
(Random House, 55.95), by Washington 
newspapermen David Wise and Thomas 
B. Ross, is the most nourishing outpour 
ing of this genre to come our way in 
long time. It documents what sophisticat- 
ed observers have long suspected—that 
the intelligence arms of our Government 
most especially the Central Intelligence 
Agency, have been the directing forces 
behind a good deal of our so-called di 
plomacy since the War, The conse- 
quences, such as the mortifying Bay of 
Pigs invasion, a discussion of which 
begins the book, have mot always 
brought prestige to the Stars and Stripes. 
Uncontrolled by elected officials, unre. 
sponsive to public pressure, infatuated 
with right-wing dictatorships, these top 
secret bodies are a strange and dis 
quicting facet of our democracy. This 
book, which agitated the CLA gumshoes 
even before publication, describes their 
joke-and-dagger activities in Guatemala 
and Victnam, in Laos and Burm. 
Tran and Indonesia—and in the U.S. 


Qawwa S 
AL SHARP IS CHAIRMAN of the Yale Daily News. Which means that he 


should stick to his chair and supervise. But at the first sign of a hot, on-the- 


spot story, Al usually dives into the vest and jacket of his Cricketeer suit and 


races off. Why, yes, Al wears Cricketeer suits and sportcoats. Don't. all 


college men? CRICKETEER® 


Cricketer Magna Country Homespun vested suit. In new country colors and patterns. About $70.00 Other Cricketer 
suits, from $60.00 to $80.00. At most knowledgeable stores. Or write to Cricketeer, 1290 Avenue of the Americas, 
New York, N. Y., and get your free "'Clothesmanship" Bacl-to-Campus Wardrobe guide. 


He's over his ankles 
in bright red ADLERS 
but he's clean-white-sock 
just the same 


A Division of Burlington Industries. 


No matter how far out he swings, he always lands on his own two feet. He's a charac- 
ter with character. That's being clean-white-sock. An attitude that colors everything 
you do no matter what color or length your socks. And you get it only from Adler. 
Swinging here: the Adler SC shrink controlled wool sock. White and 18 colors. $1. 


THE ADLER COMPANY, CINCINNATI 14, OHIO. IN CANADA: WINDSOR HOSIERY MILLS, MONTREAL. 


32 


Wooten 


VOL. I WJ-764 PUBLISHED BY THE AMERICAN WOOL COUNCIL AND HIMALAYA 


‘Stem Christy. 


WOOL 


7. Well-dressed/wool-dressed. 


1. Herringbone I. 


SKI REPORT: 
HIMALAYA CONDITIONS 
EXCELLENT. 

1. Possibly The Ski Sweater of 
the year, the hand-knit look of 
this handsome Himalaya puts a 
parka to shame. Of natural wool 
knitted in America, it has all of 
wool’s natural warmth, natural 
water-shedability, too! And the 
appropriate herringbone dem- 
onstrates wool’s talent for tak- 
ingthe deepest, richest of colors. 
2. Otherwise known as How To 
Walk Up a Hill. Possible alter- 
natives: take the chair, or just 
stand there and devastate ski 
bunnies in that sweater! 

3. A type of turn. Requires con- 
centration, 

4. Also requires concentration. 
Donot mix with Stem Christies. 
5. The peak of ski-where. 

6. The peak of ski-wear...or 
any number of other-wears, all 
equally handsome. 

7. Especially whencleverlyclad 
in the sweater shown, known as 


4. Christy's stems. 


SER rs a Knit-Wit. Sizes S, M, L, XL. 
himeloy About $30.Matching cap, about 
à — | $4.00. Available at: Weber & 
= Heilbroner, New York City + 


M. L. Rothschild Co., Chicago, 
Hl. - Howard's Brass Lantern, 
San Francisco, Calif. + D. J. 

Kaufman, Washington, D.C. 
Jacobson's, Michigan + Bul- 
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ers a, Cali! loody's, Manhat- 
p tan, Kansas + Shepard & Ha- 
melle, Burlington, Vt. * The 
Cambridge Shop, Coral Gables, 
Fla. * Judson’s, Easton, Pa. Or 
write: Himalaya, Inc, 350 


2. Herringbone II. 


Fifth Ave., New York, N.Y. 


self. If half of what is reported here is 
accurate—and nobody has shown other- 
wise—the book's title is no exaggeration. 


Jack Gelber, who scored an offbeat off- 
Broadway success with a play in which 
almost nothing happens (The Connec 
lion) that was made into a movie in 
which almost nothing happens, has now 
tten a novel in which almost nothing 
. Appropriately labeled Om tee 

$4.95), bers novelistic 
cool nonlife—Greenwich Vil- 
ion, with the usual noncharac- 
ng the usual cuts to Florida, 
Bellevue and Mexico— faithfully presents 
the loftloving, pot-puffing and shoplift- 
of a group of familiar young drifters 
going through the beatgrinder. In re- 
g the dragging days and nights of 
Fells, Gelber 
skillfully conveys the chilly boredom of 
this motionless milieu. But perhaps in 
desperation at running out of things to 
pening, he has 
situation involving 
ry job with a bogus 
store-detective agen complete with 
consciously colorful characters. Gelber i; 
more convincing when he gets back to 
the pads and the roaches, even though 
his laying on of the realism sometimes 
results in monotony; there arc more 
dripping noses in this novel than you'll 
find anywhere outside of a kindergarten 
on a rainy day. The hero periodically 
makes it if a chick is handy and willing, 
but the nonsex i s more icy than 
spicy. As Manny tries to console himself 
in midst of onc of these cool con- 
junctions, "Geometry can be beautiful.” 
But will it sell? 


Manny 


Patrick Dennis, 
solemnity, entered politic 
from recording the could-be-true-to-life 
saga of Little Me (firs 
Show Business Ilustrated, 
musical-comedy hit), Mr. Dennis has 
now transcribed the “as told to" tale of 
Martha Dinwiddie Butterficld, in First 
lady: My Thirty Days Upstairs at the 
White House (Morrow, $ 
is only out of emba 
ry has up to now failed to record the 
story of George Washington Butterfield, 
the only candidate of the shortlived 
arty to occupy the White 
House—a tempestuous term that ended 
after only 30 da 1909 when a 
load of votes was discovered th 
moved the Bullfinch Partys mistaken 
margin of victory. This hitherto. mis- 
placed morsel of Americana is served up 
by President Butterfield’s blithe spirited 
widow, who recalls her crowded days 
(and nights) upstairs at the White House 
from the morc serene atmosphere of the 
Bosky Dell Home for the Senile and Dis- 
turbed. The former First Lady reveals 
all, including the rich Southern heri- 
tage of the Dinwiddie family, which rose 


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to fortune through the distribution of a 
home-brewed spirit lifter known as Lo- 
ho Di brewing troublc from her 
homebrewing hubby-President and his 
scandalous liaison with the vulgarly 
glamorous Gladys Goldfoil (who also saw 
a good deal of the upstairs at the White 
House) the First Lady maintained a 
brave facade. But, as her worldly sister 
Clytie observed of the Goldfoil-Presid 
affair, “Bedfellows make strange pol: 
tic." The intrepid former First Lady, 
petted by Gris Alexander, has docu- 
mented her memoirs with 172 photo- 
graphs (Peggy Cass as Mrs. Butterfield) 
which ought to convulse, if not con- 
vince, skeptics and. scholars. 


Evidently Nat Hentoff is a writer who 
intends to live up to his notices. It was. 
only last February that we commented 
here on the increasing range of his 
interests, and here he is back with anoth- 
er volumc—The New Equality (Viking, 
$4.50). Hentoff first examined some of 
the distortions and reflections scen 
Through the Racial Looking Glass for 
praytoy (July 1962), and now has put 
together a timely analysis of the move- 
ment for full racial equality. Building 
his book out of personal observation and 
reporting, plus a sifting of the latest 
statistics from the black-white battle- 
ground, Hentoff is present through 
page as an advocate of The 
Equality, and the measures—i 
preferential employment pol 
feels are needed to bring it about. At his 
worst, he sometimes slips into the jargon 
of the overschooled social worker, heav- 
ing such verbal medicine balls as "opti- 
mum compensatory techniques" and 
“role-playing incentives." At his best, he 
ly skewers the romantic racial rumi- 
nations of Kerouac and Mailer, and puts 
down the fuzzy liberal uplift message 
that Harpers editor John Fischer con- 
tributed to the Negro problem several 
summers ago. The New Equality pro- 
vides intellectual ammunition for the 
movement and tantalizing targets for 
the resistance. 


What the world has not been waiting 
for is a long, detailed biography of Jean 
Harlow, and Irving Shulman proves it. 
His Harlow (Geis, $5.95) answers all the 
questions that have been bothering so 
few of us through the years: What did 
happen on Jean Harlows wedding 
night? Why did her producer-husband 
commit suicide? Did she really have to 
wear a blonde wig for a while, and why? 
Shulman turns the saga of the Blonde 
Bombshell who exploded on the screen 
in the early Thirties (and died at 26) 
into a keg of fan-magazine syrup spiked 
with “daring” details about nipples and 
pubic hair. It is interesting that Laurel 
and Hardy were responsible for her first 
big screen break, that her private life 


could it be his broomsticks? (or the Ford Mustang) 


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35 


PLAYBOY 


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was a horror compounded by her weird 
n s with her mother and stepfa- 
ther. And Nathanael West would have 
loved the fact that Jeanette MacDonald 
sang Indian Love Call at Harlow's 
funeral, accompanied by the trillings of 
a caged bird. In fact, theres a good 
article here. But Shulman, determined 
e a Big Best Seller (with the 
confidences of the star's à Arthur 
Landau) wearies whatever appeal her 
history might have had. As for his judg- 
ice 
whose suri 
international 
Nope, no Monroe, no 
. As for Shulman, no dice. 


ment, he announc 
there has been no st 
has become am 


lor sex. 
no Loi 


In Survival in the Executive Jungle 
(Macmillan, $4.95) Chester Burger di: 
penses advice on such questions as how 
t0 get along with your secretary, how to 
cultivate a loyal staff and how to fire a 
subordinate. “The first rule of si 
he says, "is to see things exactly as they 
are. If the facts indicate that someone is 
out to get you, then he probably 
This has the makings of a f ide, 
albeit a tattered one—but Burger, alas, 
in earnest, and his prescriptions for su 
v depend more on piety and plati- 
tude than insight and wit. bor hii 
mony begins with understanding" is 
typical insight, as is... neither lov 
nor loathing is an effective management 
tool.” Oc ally, though, he b 
throngh with something sei 
when he advises one to be 
prospective employee who opens the 
first interview with, ^ ‘a call myself an. 
idea man." And he 
pith in his chapter on corporation ps 
chologists, noting casually that. “There 
are honest psychologists too . . .” On the 
whole, though, the beleaguered execu- 
tive can find surer and more amusing: 
l th tired tome. 

They're still playing the good old 
songs at the Wodehouse, the la 
a little number c: 


roads to su 


appeared in this magazine. As you'll re- 
call, this one is about an American bloke 
a list manqué whose 
current project is blonde. A week before 
his 30h birthday Biflws godfather 
n his dinn nd goes to r 
side with the morning stars" leavin 
young Biffen roughly $10,000,000 on the 
proviso that he avoid arrest before he 
30. If you think this is easy, you don't 
know Unde P. G. Some indication of the 
jons may «d when you 
that the characters include 
Edmund Biffen Pyke, Edmund Biffen 
Christopher, Kay Christopher, 
Shoesmith, Henry Blake-Sor 
Tilbury. Linda Rome, Willi 
Pilbeam, Percy Pilbeam and Gwendoline 
Gibbs, all of whom are either related to, 
engaged to, in love with or otherwise i 


t 
m Albert 


volved with one another and who in- 
trigue, scheme, plot, devise and frolic in 
pursuit or in defense of Biffen’s millions, 
confronted every five pages or so with a 
new twist in ihe plot. Its all designed to 
gladden the hearts of every Wooster 
booster. 


In What Time Collects (Doubleday, $5.95) 
James T rell returns to the world he 
first became famous for describing—the 
Midwest in Prohibition days. But his 
subject is uot uic effects of the Volstad 
Act; rather, it is the tragedy of spirit 
that lay behind it, a tragedy of inner 
prohibitions, fears and thwarted desires. 
The Dai mily have all the virtues 
of their time and town: property, pro- 
Church 
and the But their smug 
banali! sed down on tor- 
menting lust and fury. The family's 
spoiled youngest son finds that his career 
of drinking and seduction is broken by a 
girl who d nds real love from him. 
He marries her because it seems to him 
the only way to have her. But incapable 
of satisfying the girl's healthy hunger for 
maleness without shame, he can give her 
only callousness and a corrupted will. 
Her struggle for freedom, for woman- 
hood, brings into dark relief the stunted 
lives around her ridden by Bible Belt 
specters of the Devi x; her final vic- 
tory is outgrowing and g them. 
Farrell has written on similar themes be- 
fore—and better. With all his conspicu- 


strength that grows out of his own 
honesty. H 
honesty is still. there. 


You know whats wrong with Eng- 
land? Milton Biow, a long-time adver- 
tising man and author of Butting In 
(Doubleday, $5.50), tells us; Her ad 
agencies have an agreement not to sol 
one another's accounts. Bi s econo- 
my is thereby denied the force of the Big 
Ideas that advertising agencies are in the 
habit of developing for other peopl 
clients—dynamic concepts like Halitosi: 
nd Cigarette Hangover, Unlike the rel- 
l Ogilvy, author 
Biow runs true to the Madison Avenue 
stereotype. It is clear from the start that 
his title is not offered in diffidence or 
apology. Rather, it is his credo. He 
makes his point early and repeats it in- 
cessantly. Butt in for the job. Butt in for 
the account. If you want something, 
buddy, butt in and get it. We usually in- 

i ng people to butt out on oc- 
This book is that sort of 


occasion. 

ered by the success of The Spy 
Who Came in from the Cold (Playboy 
After Hours, April 1964), an American 
publisher has unearthed two suspense 
novels by John le Carré previously is- 
sued in England. Published here togeth- 


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PLAYBOY 


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er as The Incongruous Spy (Walker, $5. 
they should please this wider audience. 
Mr. Le Carré (David Cornwall, a one 
time British civil servant) dotes on spies 
and spycraft. With casual deftness, he 
relates marvels of intelligence expertise. 
His unprepossessing agenthero, George 
Smiley, a rumpled man known to his 
associates as The Mole, can machinatc 
with James Bond and deduce with. Hei 

cule Poirot. Le Garé definitely has an 


ace in the Mole: He is an agent of 
sensibility and style. Does he have to 
comm in Call for the Dead, a 


well-written spy story? Then he docs so 
with a quote from an Elizabethan poet 
and a sigh for his Philistine superiors. 
Does he have to undo the lifework of a 
friend in A Murder of Quality, a straight 
tale of detection? Then he averts his eyes 
as the victim is led away. Mr. Cornwall 
sees a weighty meaning in the ethical 
meanderings of Smiley, who played a 
lesser role in The Spy Who, etc. Can a 
chap be a spy and remain a decent chap? 
Some readers couldn't Carré less. For 
them, it's enough that these two early 
works stand as superior thrillers, 


Business Decisions That Changed Our 
Lives (Random House, $4.95) contains 
self-congratulatory success stories, cach 
med by a corporation president or 
d chairman and accompanied by an 
annualreporüsh portrait of the execu- 
tive. The "Our" in the tide refers to us, 
not them, and the “Decision: e the 
ones behind such aidsto-humanity as 
mail-order insurance, fancy lipstick cases, 
cake mixes, baby foods and zippers. 
Most of these accounts are elaborate 
company pulls, not business histories 
"They are full of smug similes and ersatz 
insights. “Every woman is an individu: 
announces Revlon's Charles Revson 
typical flash of enlightenment. “She 
has different moods.” Equally illuminat- 
ing is the comment by Lewis W; r III, 
president of Talon: "No doubt in the 
communes of China there are men and 
women who have never put their fingers 
to the pull of a zipper.. . . But in West- 
ation it has long been an im- 
nt item.” The American way of life 
has more zip to it. A few of the contribu- 
tors manage to rise above this level. Wil- 
liam S. Vaughn of Eastman Kodak turns 
a brighter-than-average phrase ("Kodak 
got into the vitamin business by way of a 
serendipity”) and Warren Lee Pierson of 
Great Western Financial Corporation 
offers a relaxed, low-key chronicle of 
high finance. A long pedantic introduc 
tion by the editors—Sidney Furst and 
Milton Sherman—cexplains nothing. 

Mickey Spillane's new adventure in in- 
fantile psychosex: y is called The Snake 
(Dutton, $3.50). Within a page we learn 
that Velda is back. Who's Velda? Where 
have you been? She's been behind the 
Iron Curtain for seven years, taking part 


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39 


PLAYBOY 


40 


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in the biggest chase scene civilization has 
ever known. Velda! “What is it when 
you sce woman naked? Woman. Long. 
Lovely. Tousled. Skin that looks slippery 
in the small light. Pink things that are 
the summit. A wide, shadowy mass that 
is the crest. Desire that rests in the soft 
fold of fesh that can speak and taste an 
tell that it wants you with the sudden 
contract id quickening intak 
breath.” Onward! Except that Mike 
Hammer insists on waiting until they're 
d! Now this bugs Velda a little. 
After all, seven years. On top of which 
she’s still a virgin. (Seven years. During 
which time the Reds have gotten close 
enough to leave whip and knife Marx 
on her flesh.) Velda keeps stripping 
down, showing a body “that rippled and 
crying out soundlessly for 
more, more, more," but Mike only looks. 
Oh, all right. "I felt her briefly,” he ad- 
mits—something akin to kissing her now. 
On the few occasions when he does ni 
ly succumb, doorbells ring. telephones 
jangle, hoods come blasting im. The 
c clemens are up to 


c 


ng 534 
years before Mike 

But 
nly, it’s this thing with Velda. Will 
or won't they? Finally, it seems 
at of a couple of 


corpses. 


But only Spill 
dresser know for sure. 
Around About America ( 
$4.50) is the product of a 
25,000-mile trip by ine Caldw 
his wife, Virginia, 1963. Caldwell's 
curiosity about the way the rest of us 
cat, love, steal and work results in a 
series of crisply drawn vignettes 
of them illustrated by 1 
tunately commonplace E 
Caldwell notes, most Ame 
“doggedly insular, 
book lies in the way he ha 
out some of the more vivid sectional 
phenomena in this country—the desol 
tion of unemployed coal mi 
West Virgi the all 
of the young in Bossier City, Louisiana; 
the exotic, pre-Marx communism of the 
Hutterite farms in South Dakota; the 
ial satisfactions of a Basque res- 


traus, 


three-month) 


subs 


n camp meeting in Burns, Or 
dwell also focuses fragmentarily on 
more pervasive elements of America— 
le growth of the suburbs; 
s of hookers everywhere; the 
aned communities for the 
viciousness of race preju- 
the hopeful types at w 
ces; the new penchant for st 
V. sets rather than towels [rom motels: 
and the sadly diminishing number of 


No Scotch 
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the flavour 
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Teacher s 


HIGHLAND 


PLAYBOY 


42 


Neat is the word for these swing- 
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vintage pool halls. Although the book 
deep, it is an evoca- 
s section of our 
ions and stub- 
diversity. 


pleasures, yearnings, € 
born remnants of sectiona 


Christopher Isherwood’s new short 
novel, A Single Man (Simon & Schuster, 
54). takes place in one day. George, a 
middleaged expatriate Englishman, 
teacher of English in a Southern Califor- 
nia college, a confirmed homosexual, 
rises, spends a day, goes to bed, and—one 
is supposed to suppose— dies in his sleep. 
In the course of the day. of course, we 
get a picture of what his life is, has been. 
ay possibly be; and we get his views 
ger eternal questions. His lover, J 
was recently killed in a car crash and 
George is somewhat numb; the book is 
the waning 
seorge's life and of his faith in teach. 
g. His day ends with a drunken dinner 
with a divorced Englishwoman who h 
cute ideas of returning to England w 
him and opening a cute inn. Then he 
has an even drunker nude swim with a 
male student—without making a pass— 
and it only makes George feel lonclicr. 
Then he falls into bed. To stay. This 
book is certainly more interesting than 
Isherwood's last two novels, but there is 
ght imprecision in the prose and a 
slight feeling of strain for emotional 
effects. It's as if he had taken some of the 
leftovers from a superb meal out of the 
refrigerator and warmed them up. Fine 
fare—but not hot from the oven. 

At 66, William Henry Joseph Bona 
parte Bertholoff (“Willie the Lios 
Smith has written an autobiograph: 
Music on My Mind (Doubleday, $4.95), 
that is also an absorbing social history 
of early jazz in the North. His collabora 
tor, jazz historian George Hoefer, has 
shaped Smith’s discursive style and elastic 


a sl 


"more into a cohesive narrative that 
sounds exactly as if The Lion, with 
characteristic cigar and brandy, were 
speaking the book. Willie Smith was onc 


of the most influential of the New York 
"ticklers"—those prodigious two-handed 


ght clubs and rent parties in the 
during the first decades of this century 
Among those marked by ‘The 

Duke Ellington and Fats Waller. V 
chronicle focuses on the ni 
Newark, Atlantic City, Chicago and Har- 
lem. His ego was, and is, outsize; but he 
is generous of spirit, fiercely proud of his 
calling and highly appreciative of such 
pleasures as liquor and the ladies. ‘The 
on's most dominant. trait, as this book 
kes clear, is his independence. “I only 
ar when the feeling is right," Wil 
proclaims; and. various dub owners 

agents have learned that he cannot be 
exploited nor forced to remain where 
the "vibrations" do not suit his lite style. 
At the end of his reminiscences, Willie 


vehemently indicts the working condi 
tions that still prevail in many jazz clubs. 
and wonders why jazzmen keep putting 
up with them, Alas, Willic, not all of 
us are lions. 


RECORDINGS 


A new Nancy Wilson LP is usually a 
happy event and Today, Tomorrow, Forever 
(Capitol) is no exception. Nancy, backed 
by husband Kenny Dennis’ group, dresses 
up such au courant melodies as I Left 
My Heart in San Francisco, Call. Me 
Irresponsible, One Note Samba and 
What Kind of Fool Am I?, but our own 
favorite is the country-and-western J 
Can't Siop Loving You which Miss Wil- 
son turns into a lilting serenade for us 
city boys. 


Col Tjader / Breeze from the East (Verve) 
is another of the vibists ventures into 
an Orient-tinted musical world. In a get- 
together charted and conducted by Stan 
Applebaum, Cal works with sever 
small groups studded with fine musicians 
—Dick Hyman on organ, Jerry Dodgion 
on flute, George Duvivier playing bass. 
Applebaum himself plays celesta on 
number of the offerings. Cal, of course, 
is the star as he and his men wend their 
way across a jazz lotus land. 


"Two sessions, five years apart, make 
up the contents of Miles & Monk at 
Newport (Columbia). The Davis Sextet 
of 1958 had John Coltrane and Canno 
ball Adderley as members; it probably 
was Miles’ finest group. Cannon and 
Trane add immeasurably to the proceed- 
ings, while Davis, still in the process of 
growing, produces the sounds of a secker 
after musical truth. Monk, leading a 
quartet at last year's festival, batters, ca- 
joles, caresses and exhorts his piano to 
do his bidding, a feat of which the in- 
strument occasionally seems incapable. 
Pee Wee Russell’s clarinet was added to 
the quartet at Newport, and one has the 
fecling that Pee Wee is a bit mystified by 
the goings on around him. 


Violinist Yehudi Menuhin puts his 
bow as as he conducts the 
Philharmonia Orchestra of London in 
Mozart's Concerto in C Major for Flute, Harp 
end Orchestra, K. 299, and "Telemann's 
Suite in A Minor for Flute ond Strings 
"The flutist is the celebrated Elaine Shaf- 
fer; Marilyn Costello is harp soloist on 
the Mozart work. Together, they have 
produced a recording of gentle di 
and superb. musicianship. 


A neat follow-up to his splendid Quin- 
cy Jones Plays Hip Hits is Quincy Jones 
Explores the Music of Henry Mancini (Mer- 
cury. Quincy, working with three 
groups, all of them Jarge, runs through a 


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flock of Mancini's more memorable tone 
poems, imparting to them a dynamic 
tastefulness that has become a Jones 
trademark. Among the troops on duty 
throughout the LP are pianist Bobby 
Scott, vibist Gary Burton, trumpet man 
and trombonist Billy Byers. 
some indication 
of the recordings high performance 
level. 


Joe Bushkin in Concert/Town Holl. (Reprise) 
reveals another facet of pianist Bush 
kin's estimable talents; he plays a highly 
respectable trumpet. Although Gillespie, 
Davis and Terry are in no danger of 
being pre-empted, Bushkin's horn. play- 
ing is by no means a novelty act. With 
gi Chuck Wayne, bassist Milt 
Hinton and drummer Ed Shaughnes 
the twicc-blessed Bushkin prolfers a 
batch of standards by a Tin-Pan Alley 
hierarchy—Berlin, Gershwin, Arlen, 
Porter, Duke and Youmans. 

A fine helping of funk fills Al Grey / 
Boss Bone (Argo). The hard-driving 
trombonist, aided by a Chicago-based 
rhythm section, produces a forthright, 
surging sound that makes up in impact 
what it lacks in subtlety. In among 
the swinging originals are three oldies, 
Smile, Mona Lisa and Day In Day Out, 
that lend themselves admirably to the 
Grey context. 


The World of Sarah Voughen (Roulette) 
is the best Sassy effort in a long while. 
In superlative vocal fettle, the Divine 
One moves effortlessly through Fiy Me 
to the Moon, Jump for Joy, Moonlight 
on the Ganges, Stella by Starlight, Gravy 
Waltz and a host of other tempting aural 
treats. 


Further evidence that Art Farmer is a 
horn man of major stature is readily 
ap ot the Holf-Note / The 
Art Former Quartet Featuring Jim Hell (At- 
lantic). Arts Flügelhorn is evocatively 
darion on Stompin’ at the Savoy, What's 
New, I Want to Be Happy and the 
Miles Davis Swing Spring. Farmer sits 
out the fifth offering, Im Geitin’ Sen- 
g the pl 


limental over You, leav 
dits for Hall's sens guitarwork 
bassist Steve Swallow's inventive accom- 
paniment. Drummer Walter Perkins 
adds a firm rhythmic hand throughout 
Jock Jones / Bewitched (Kapp) and Jock 
Jones in Love (Capitol) are an absorbing 
brace of goodies from this fastrising 
vocal star. The latter LP is a n 
of his This Love Is Mine album etched 
very early in his career. Both record- 
ings display Jones’ astute choice of ma- 
and iiy to handle both 
standard and offbeat items with equal 
aplomb. The Capitol sides include a trio 
of exceptional ballads—Impossible, We'll 
Be Together Again and Matt Dennis’ 


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and 45 seconds of this new Verve album? 


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Angel Eyes. Bewitched is enhanced by 
the inclusion of I've Grown Accustomed 
to Her Face, Right as the Rain and I’m 
Old Fashioned. All in all, quite a vocal 
display by the Jones boy. 


Herbie Mano / Latin Fever (At 
1inues the flutist's close association with 
the bossa nova and kindred rhythms. 
Backed by Brazilian sidemen on half 
the session, Herbie also puts such State- 
side jazz notables as Ernie Royal, Clark 
Terry and the likes of You Came a Long 
Way from St. Louis and John Lew 
The Golden Striker into the Latin bag. 


ntic) con- 


Four morc LPs in the Latin vein de- 
serve mention: Warm Winds / Charles Ky- 
nerd & Buddy Collerre (Workl-Pacilic), Bola 
Sete's “Tour de Force" (Fantasy), The Lotin 
Side of Vince Guaraldi (Fantasy) and Two 
Jims end Zoot (Mainstream) prove that 
South America's sunny strains are still 
scene. The 
the last are the most intriguing. 
t Kynard and flutist Collette 
pidly simpatico as, with a Latin 
rhythm section, they establish 
cinating rapport that is consistently c: 
cellent. Two Jims (guitarists R: 
Hall) and a Zoot (tenor man Sim 
aided by bassist Steve Swallow and drum- 
mer Osie Johnson, present a half-dozen 
tunes by the prolific and imag 
Brazilian composer, Antonio Carlos 
Jobim. The LP is fleshed out with a 
quartet of north-of-the-border melodie 
but Jobim's works are the main attrac 
tion. Rancy’s solo guitar and Sims’ tenor 
are the catalysts for an inspired outing. 
The Bola Sete LP, featuring the San 
Francisco-based Brazilian on unampli- 
fied guitar, with rhythm accompaniment, 
ranges from native strains to such dis- 
parate items as Mancini's Moon River, 
Gillespie's Tour de Force and Bach's 
Bourrec, all stamped with Sete's delicate 
but sure touch. Fellow San Franciscan 
Guaraldi—in the company of a trio, plus 
Latin rhythm and a suing quartet on 
occasion—also takes on a Mancini mel 
ody, Mr. Lucky, along with Nat Adder- 
leys Work Song, Anthony Newleys 
What Kind of Fool Am I? and a pair 
of tunes by Jobim and Luis Bonía, add 
ing four of his own creations. The 
suaraldi piano is wonderfully attuned 
to the Latin idiom, as this LP bears 
witness. 


very much on the jazz 
and 


Morgana King / With a Taste of Honey 
(Mainstream) has the songstress backed 
by a king-sized orchestra conducted by 
Torrie Zito, whose arrangements are 
first-rate. From the lead-off title tune, 
through the Ellington delight, Prelude 
10 a Kiss, and on to the Cole Porter 
capper, Easy to Love, Morgana delivers 
with a style uniquely her own and a 
flair for the unusual that stamps her as a 
singer of note. 


Although the Broadway musical What 
Makes Sammy Run? did not take the 
critics by storm, its music is excellent. 
For aural proof we offer What Makes 
Sammy Swing! (20th Century-Fox), a felic- 
itous ramble through the score by Clark 
Terry & His Friends. Said friends in- 
clude reed men Phil Woods and Scldon 
Powell, and trombonist Urbie Green. 
Terry, on wumpet and Fliigelhorn, is 
the stellar attraction, of course, and his 
handling of A Room Without Windows 
is exceptional. 


Reissues in ever-increasing numbers 
are c nd. To wit A Verve Essen- 
tial sericsC—The Essential Gerry Mulligan; 
André Previn; Coleman Hawkins; Gene Krupo; 
Dizzy Gillespie. The most successful are the 
Mullis and s 
former includes the delightful Z Believe 
in You and My Funny Valentine, the 
latter is brightened by Birk’s Works and 
the agcless Night in Tunisia. The Hawk- 
ins LP is uneven in quality and the 
Krupa and Previn rectchings are, in 
general, not worthy of re-auditing, € Fan- 


ated and expired. My Little Cello 
ures the great Oscar Pettiford on that 
strument, with an American group 
including Julius Watkins and Charlic 
M and on bass, with a couple of 
Danish confreres. Bird on 52nd Street and 
Bird at St. Nick's are technically horren- 
dous, but Charlie Parker's genius is not 
to be denied. The 52nd Street LP is fur- 
ther enhanced by the presence of Miles 
Davis and Max Roach. Pettiford and fel- 
low expauiates Bud Powell and Kenny 
Clarke, joined by Col 
represented by Essen Jezz Festival All-Stars 
recorded at a 1960 German jazz concert. 
Hawkins’ efforts on three of the tunes 
are enough to make the recording worth 
while. Four Trombones / Volume 2 brings 
back the full-blown boi foursome of 
J-J- Johnson, Kai Winding, Willie De: 
nis y Green, augmented by 
lie Mingus, pianist John 
and drummer Art Taylor. The 
idually and in ensemble are 
splendid. € hos olus wie are mo long Take a camel break... MADISONAIRE style 
cr callow youths remember vividly the 
exceptional jazz recordings that poured 
forth in the 1940s from Commodore, a 
comparatively small firm. Much of that 
output is now available in LP form on 


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Charlie Ventura, Red Norvo and Teddy 


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Pee Wee Russell and the ageless Pops 
Foster, and Dixielend-Chicago, which has 
the likes of Mu Spanier, Max 
Kaminsky, Joe Sullivan and Jess Stacy 
aboard. The stellar item in the scri 
though, is Billie Holiday, in which Bil 
with superb instrumental backing, deli 
ers such classics as Strange Fruit, Fine 
and Mellow, I'll Get By, Yesterdays and. 
a half-dozen others of equal merit. OF 
more recent vintage is the Roulette- 
Roost World Of reissues. The star at- 
traction is a 3-LP album, The World of 
Count wherein the high-voltage 
Basie d of the 1950s and 1960s is re- 
prised. Vocalists lending a sheen to thc 
e gloss are Billy Eckstine, Tony Ben- 
h Vaughan, Joc Williams, 
Lambert, Hendricks and Ros 

Modern World of Sten Getz brings back 
the pre-bossa nova tenor man and admi 
rably demonstrates that he was then a 
jazz giant. The World of Cherlie Porker 
contains some of the best of Bird— 
Groovin’ High, Scrapple from the Apple 
h Dizzy, J.J. Miles and Max ad- 
ding to its luster. The World of Jozz 
Piano commends itself for Art "Tatum 
alone; Tatum's Dark Byes, J Know that 
You Know and Body and Soul 
less. Erroll Garner, Bud Powell 
Taylor are also represented. The World 
of Jack Teagarden and Capitol's Tribute to 
Teagarden emphasize the instrumental 
and vocal arustry of a classic jazz practi 
tioner who has left a void that will be 
difficult to fill. € The first in what gives 
every indication of being an important 
reissue series, Jazz Odyssey / Volume 1 / The 
Sound of New Orleans (1917-1947) (Colum 
bia), is a 3-LP journey through the New 
Orleans sound, from the Original Dixie 
land Jazz Band, Clarence Williams’ 
group, Jelly Roll Morton, King Oliver 
and Louis Armstrong, through Jimmy 
Noone, Noble Sissle and Wingy Manone, 
and on up to Bunk Johnson. It is a rich 
vinyl documenta 


Make way for a bright new comedi 
an. Here's Godfrey Cambridge Ready or 
Not... (Epic) is a recording of a per 


formance the Negro actor-turned-comic 
gave at Morgan State College. Cambridge 
uses his theatrical to excel 
lent advantage; his delivery is estimable, 
his timing faultless. Godfrey's material is 
Negro based, but univer »peal 


he saw on TV un l to buy a 
flesh-colored Band-Aid (“They didn't 
have me in mind”), how he answered a 
TV commercial to come on down to 
Florida (“I went down there and they 
weren't expecting me. They have white 
and black pools. The black pool doesn’t 
have any water in it and che diving 
board is higher"), how he and his wife 
moved into a middle-income apartment 
(“Middle income means that if you steal 
you can make the rent"), how block 
busting operates ("I got off the bus by 


accident in Scarsdale and in fifty min- 
utes property values had dropped fifty 
percent") A very funny man is Mr. 
Cambridge. 


MOVIES 


That Man from Rio, directed by Phi- 
lippe de Broca and starring Jean-Paul 
Belmondo, is a nifty spoof on all the Sat- 
urday-afternoon serials ever made, done 
with wit and zip. Belmondo, an air force 
private, has a week's leave in Paris, and 
goes to sce his girl. Her father was an 
anthropologist in Brazil who buried a 
valuable statue in his Rio garden. Two 
Indians, after the statue, kidnap the girl. 
Belmondo cons his way onto the Brazil- 
bound plane without a cent and gets 
caught up in a scad of escapades that are 
1onsense. Fun is flung nonstop at 
nd suspense clichés. The plot gy- 
through Rio (wow! 
nd the jungle (ech 
nificent. The brouhaha 
Belmondo's esprit is some- 
ncoise Dorleac plays the 


ng 10 see, 
girl with se 
(remi 


appreciated of the new 
The Love Game, The Ji 
Day Lover, now this lulu— 
needed to indicate that he may well be 
the new René C 


As if to prove that The Birds was not 
the worst picture a master could 
make, Alfred Hitchcock presents Marnie. 
Hitchcock has always be sucker for 
the psycho drama with the simple trau- 
ma explanation, which not only debases 
akes a picture one long 
riddle with a -delayed pat answer. 
This one deals with a frigid female lar- 
cenist and how she got that way. Oh, yes, 
d why she goes allover uembly when 
the color red (although for some 
she seems able to put on red lip 
nic gets jobs, gets confidence 
ts loot from office s. This 
is her way of supporting her invalid 
mother, her own taste in clothes and 
betting on the ponies. But when she is 
employed by a strong, silent book pub 
isher in Philadelphia, we know t ft 
cr much talky il, the trauma will 
bside. Tippi Hedren, who was wood- 
en in The Birds, lumbers through the 
title role. the hero, breaks 
temporarily from his James Bonds, but 
this is only an unarmed version of the 
same gent. Tw murder 
flash back and a 
edited excitingly with the old Hitchcock. 
skill. The rest is run of the Miltown. 


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nice news that they were going to make 
film. The Troublemaker is OK, but nou 
g more. The story is about a gui 
ying chicken farmer, all grin and 
.Y.C. to 


pl 
greenbacks, who comes to 
open a coffcchouse. He gets an open 
hand—from every municipal inspector 
and other grafter who wants his palm 


greased. A college pal, now a light-foot 
wyer, fixes the fix and introduces him 
to a chick. Chick helps him swing, but 
he never quite swings away from the 
wide-open space that is His Heart. 
Along the route are plenty of sight gags, 
gag gags, neatly naughty ideas: no one 
could ever mistake this for a film out 
ywood Comedy Blueprint No. 
J. But it never quite jets off, 
because most of the invention has gone 
the plot and 
characters are off the shelf and not very 
well dusted. The leads—Tom Aldredge 


awyer, Adelaide Klein as a head- 
nk headshrinker, and Theodore J 
r as the ne commissioner. Also 
te-Bunny China Lee. 
Henry and Flicker wrote the script, and 
the latter (it had to be said) directed the 
flicker. 


Good Neighbor Sam, on the other 
ind. does look as if it were made from 
an old Hollywood blueprint, or a couple 
of them combined—but it has Jack Lem- 
mon. Here he plays a good schnook who 
lives in a good schnookery with wife and 
kids. In his ad-agency job, where he is a 
nobody, he suddenly becomes a some- 
body because he is the only one with a 
clean private life; the big client (Edward 
G. Robinson) won't deal with a double: 
dealer, Meanwhile, his wife's girlfriend 
moves next door, 
lect a $15,000,000 inheri 
to pretend to be living with the husband 
from whom she has separated. When 
snoopers snoop, Lemmon pinch-hits for 
the absent hubby. But while he's pinch- 
ing, the client sees the girlfriend (Romy 
Schneider) and thinks she's Lemmon's 
missus. Well, sir! You can just imagine 
the complications, especially when the 
girl's real husband turns up. The script 
is neither deft nor dumb, although it 
lingers too long. However, it provides 
Lemmon with a lot of tight squeezes, 
and he gets the juice out of them. 
Sample: The girlfriend has fed him a 
huge steak. When he gets home later, 
ous wife has a macaroni casserole 
To pacify her, he pretends he 
hasn't eaten and consumes th 
serole. On paper, nothing. In aci 
aisle-rolling. 


nce, 


rA 


Nothing but the Best is another epic 
of a lower-class London youth looking 
for room at the top. The difference here 
is that the saga of a young man's money 
ecring suddenly becomes the 


story of a clever killer. So what we have 
is a murder film that takes too long to 
get to its point—or else a class comedy 
into which bits of another script have 
straycd. Alan Bates is attractive as the 
ambitious clerk in a large real-estate 
firm. Millicent Martin, former singing 
star of Britain's TW3, the boss’ 
daughter, Harry Andrews her brusque 
pater, Pauline Delany the lad's very 
obliging landlady. All are A 1; but the 
knockout performance is by Denholm 
Elliou as a seedy tolf whom Bates takes 
in and supports in return for lessons in 
upper-dass uppishness. The moment in 
which Elliott agrees to this deal is screen 
acting at its best. Frederic Raphacl's di- 
alog is crisp. Clive Donner, who directed 
Pinter's The Guest with distinction, here 
works more slickly, and, as is often the 
case, the color detracts from reality. Re- 
sult: a fineedged film with some 
stretches when different writer and di- 
rector seem to have taken over. 

Feil-Sofe is the "straight" version of 
Dr. Strangelove. It’s director Sidney Lu- 
mers best job to date—last and fre- 
quently exciting. Walter Bernstein has 
sculpted a workable script out of the 
Burdick-Wheeler best seller, and Ralph 
Rosenbloom's film editing is, or should 
be, Oscar-bound. The Strangelove gim- 
a runaway bomber headed for 
with the U.S. forced to confer 
with the U. S. S, R. on ways to stop it—is 
used here as a parable of how machines 
have taken over from men. The SAC 
headquarter scenes have lots of snap, 
nd the hotline conversation—White 
Housc to Kremlin—holds conviction be- 
cause of Henry Fonda as the President. 
But the final wade of New York for 
Moscow still scems glib. Some of the 
"human" embroidery is painfully hem- 
stitched: a general's recurrent dream, a 
cool scientists moment with a thrill 
hungry gil. Frank Overton as the SAC 
chief, Fritz Weaver as his aide, Sorreil 
Booke as a Congressman, Larry Hagman 
as a translator, are solid. Dan O'Herlihy 
is fru the haunted gencral, and 
lter Matthau, a good comic, is badly 
semimad scientist. At its best, 
though, a superior thrill show. 


This month's Peter Sellers film, a se- 
quel to The Pink Panther, is based on 
Hany Kurnitz Broadway hit A Shot in 
the Dark. (See our pictorial in this issue, 
The Nudest Peter Sellers and the Nudest 
Etke Sommer, for details of the plot.) 
Sight gags are the order of the day and 
night in this one, and there are a num 
ber of funny ones—including Sellers 
bursting into a room when he hears a 
high-pitched scream, only to discover that 
it's a soprano at a musicale. There are 
reminiscent sequences: the discomforts of 
hasuly undressing for a boiling bedmate, 
noodling in a nudist camp, and almost 
all of it is neatly sold by Sellers. George 


Sanders is more cool than comic as a mil- 
lionaire; Herbert Lom, usually a heavy, 
is pleasantly light as the Sûreté chicf 
driven crazy by Sellers. Although Miss 
Sommers talents are on the surface, 
they are not superficial 

William Holden's motto: If at first 
you do succecd, Kwai, Kwai a 
The Seventh Dawn he's an Americ: 
ing with native guerrillas in Malaya at 
the end of the 1945 War, buddy of a 
colonel named Ng. Holden buys Land 
near Kuala Lumpur; Ng hustles off to 
Moscow. Cut to 1953 and, by George, if 
Holden isn’t a rich planter and Ng the 
head of the Communist terrorists. Capu- 
cine, Holden's mistress and Ng's unre- 
sponsive beloved, is torn between the 
two, but not soon enough. Susannah 
York, whom you first saw swimming b.a. 
(before attiring) in last Junc’s rrAYnoy, 
the daughter of the British governor. 
These arc all the elements of a finc Joan 
Crawford tearjerker, and screenwriter 
Karl Tunberg—with Michael Keon's 
novel The Durian Tree as source—does 
not miss a trick. Noble postures pile up 
on the screen as dull dialog clutters the 
sound track. Tetsuro Tamba, as Ng, is 
N.G. Holden dyes his hair black, but 
you can tell it’s him by the acting. On 
this road to Mandalay, The Seventh 
Dawn comes up like hollow thunder. 


THEATER 


Carol Burnett is a knock-kneed, large- 
mouthed, flat-footed clown with a voice 
as loud as Merman's. For the past few 
seasons she has been locked up inside 
Fade Out—Fade In explodes 
her onto a Broadway stage—and without 
her, Fade Out would fade out fast. 
Movie mogul Lione] Z. Governor has 
had Carol plucked out of a chorus line 
nly he meant the girl next to her, 
Judy Cassmore. While L.Z. is in Vien- 
na being analyzed by a short, long-beard- 
cd, sex-centered psychiatrist, his F. 
Studio is being misrun by his syco-fr. 
nephews, who comprise most of the old 
man's padroll, and they are trying, forc 
bly, to transform the homely chorinc 
into a movie queen. When L.Z. dis- 
covers the goof (Carol), he fumes and 
fires (Carol). Free of F.F.F., she dons 
six petticoats, blonde spit curls, patent 
leather shoes, and—don't ask why—takes 
off on Shirley Temple. It is a completely 
devastating impersonation—the most u 
necessary completely devastating imper- 
sonation of the year. Funny, too, is Jack 
Cassidy as Byron Prong, a movie king 
deeply in love with himself; he keeps a 
mirror in the crown of his top hat. Un- 
Tortunately the rest of the show is by no 
means 100spoof. Betty Comden and 
Adolph Green’s satiric pen pierces right 
down to the skin, and most of Jule 
Styne's score is strikingly ordinary. Com- 
den and Green have written a funny 


ntic 


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PLAYBOY 


52 


what 
looks like champagne, 
pours like champagne, 
tastes like champagne, 
yet costs 
just pennies more than beer? 


P : "- 
jy 
1 SPARKLING Ch 


PA 


Champale tastes best in a stemmed glass...get it, in bottle or can, wherever 
beer is sold. Champale sparkles a meal, a moment, or a midnight snack. 


never a slip between cup and grip 


THE PLAYBOY PUTTER 


Creat for playing a round. Puts perfection in your putting. 
Has the "pro" look that gives you a “pro” performance. 
Provides the grip that's “right for you." Lines the cup up 
easily, sits comfortably behind the ball. Solid brass head with 
Rabbit emblazoned face and gleaming steel shaft. Complete 
with its own luxurious black leather cover. $22 ppd. 


Shall we enclose a gift card in your name? 
Send check or money order lo: 
PLAYBOY PRODUCTS 

232 East Ohio Street, Chicago, Illinois 60611 
Playboy Club keyholders may charge by enclosing key number with order. 


musical about funny old filmland, but 
it’s not Fade Out—Fade In. It was the 
movie Singin’ in the Rain. At thc Mark 
Hellinger, 257 West 51st Street. 
Quietly shunning the shakers and the 
shockers of modern theater, y 
American playwright Frank D. G 
has ten The Subject Was Roses, 
three-character, oneset, kitchen. 
stubbornly rooted in re. 
'e, wise, keenly observed, 
ed to perfection by 
itor (Ulu Grosbard) and 
perbly by unknown performers. Roses is 


class 
The father, | y (Jack Albert 
son), is a simpl ty, crude coffee 
sman, of high promise and low 


who is 
ive to her 
and. The 


mother, a drudge to her hu: 
Clearys have just about stopped talking 


to cach other when their only child, 
Timmy (M Sheen), returns from 
the War, with his body intact—his father 
secretly a little ashamed of that—and 
» his vision clarified. A momma's boy, 
ddenly sees the sadness in both 
es. The dialog re and un- 


Deluly, ill. strokes, 
s the Clearys relate to all 
immy remembers his mother's 


love of roses (although he forgets, to her 
disappointment, that waflles arc his favor- 
ite breakfast), buys her some, but asks 
his father to say that they are his 
He does so with embarrassment; st 
cepts, with clation; all ends in confu- 
sion. The Clearys cannot even exchange 
a simple gilt without domestic complic 
tions. This not, however dr 
play. It is rife with humor, 
sights—the best new Broadway play of 
the year. At the Royale, 242 West 45th 
Street. 


“This show began one hundred years 
ayo,” says the uncomical comican.c., 
"and of course we have changed some of 


for some new nudes, but the show itself 
lays a 1000-year-old egg, as stale as the 
aster Show at Radio City Music Hall, 
nd, except for one hot number in a 
winter garden, almost as naive. The 
choreography is archaic (the boys pull 
the girls through their legs); the si 

is atrocious; even the lighting is spotty. 
For variety acts, a dog stands on a man 
thumb, and a knobby puppet undress 
and the tableaux—ah, ze tablea 
Down a steep stai 
a green face (those lights, a 
white dress. She looks like the bride of 
Dracula. All about her, girls hold can- 
delabras high over their heads. The 
bride sings (badly), the curtain falls, and 
on come the puppes. The pièce de 


Never, under any circumstances, 
leta girl borrow your 
White Levi’s of Cone Corduroy 


If she says she's going to a costume party and wants to go 
dressed as Huckleberry Finn, turn a deaf ear, or lend her 
an old shirt. But don't part with your Levi's. Girls find long, 
lean, well-tailored Levi's irresistible. Especially in extra- 
heavyweight corduroy. And if yours happen to be softened 
up with age, so they look and feel like old leather, 

you're a goner. So be strong. Unless you own 3 or 4 pairs. 
In sand, loden, antelope. Boys’ sizes, regular and slim, 

6 to 12, $4.98. Men's sizes 26-38, $5.98. Available at your 
favorite men’s store. Cone Corduroy is another fine fabric of 
Cone Mills Inc., 1440 Broadway, New York 18, New York. 


PLAYBOY 


54 


ilton 


gives you 
California's 
look of 
youth! 


THE SUMMIT 


Crompton 
corduroy with 
genuine 
leather trim. 
Colors: 
Bronze, Deer, 
Buck, Olive. 
Sizes: Small 
to extra large, 
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slightly higher 
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LOS ANGELES 7 


At better stores nationwide... BRILUS, Milwoukee 
SMITH'S, Ocklond + — 3RD AVE. MEN'S SHOP, Seottle 
SILVERWOOD'S, Los Angeles - BAMBERGER'S, Newark 
& bronches or write for your nearest store, 


résistance of the vaudeville is Patachou, 
who pats herself a lot and punches out 
ten minutes of song in an overemphatic 
style. But before this cream pulf, comes 
the cheesecake: || mannequins, who 
each wear a patch of cheesecloth and 
two tiny tin pastics. The night we caught 
the show. the blonde one in the front row 
was à nonconformist—she had a Band- 
Aid on her knee. At the Broadway, 1681 
Broadway. 


After a mediocre season of new plays, 
the Actors Studio Theatre attacks a 
solid classic, Chekhov's The Three Sisters, 
and trots out the first team (Geraldine 
Page and Kim Stanley! Live! Together!) 
with old coach Lee Strasberg as director. 
Chekhov wins, but barely. Strasberg has 
not succeeded in welding an ensemble 
production, nor in capturing the various 
humors of The Three Sisters. But Ran- 
dall Jarrell’s new translation is clean 
and free of archaisms, and there are 
some brilliant performances and some 
fine scenes. The first two acts are gener- 
ally dark, moody and languorous, which 
indicates the despair of the characters, 
but obscures their differences. The sec- 
ond act is actually played almost in the 
dark, which obscures the actors. In the 
Jast act the lights come on in all respects, 
shedding a hard glare on the assorted 


woes, clarifving the characters and pro- 
viding a contrast to the gloomy doings 
carlicr in the evening. As the three over- 


cultivated, unfulfilled sisters trapped. in 
a provincial town, Kim Stanley, Geral- 
dine Page and Shirley Knight are suc- 
cessful in that order. Miss Knight as the 
youngest, the innocent Irina, is shrill at 
times, but in her final plight she is piti 
able: Miss Page has the least to work 


with; Olga, the oldest, is stoical about 
her spinsterhood and fatalistic about her 
passivity. In Miss Page’s hands, her deci 


sion to settle for being a schoolmistress 
seems like a slightly noble adventure. 
Masha, the middle sister, is the saddest, 
smartest, most hopeless, most affecting of 
the sad trio, and Kim Stanley captures 
every nuance of the role—the self-engen. 
dered inertia, the anger at her wasted 
life, and her desperate grasp at romance 
with the self-pitying dreamer Major Ver- 
shinm (Kevin McCarthy). Finally, the 
nily house lost, Moscow no longer a 
hope for any of them, Vershinin trans- 
ferred, and her husband fussing about 
foolishly, Miss Stanley cries, “My life is 
all wrong.” The moment is the play, and 
her performance saves the production. 
At the Morosco, 217 West 45th Street. 


DINING-DRINKING 


As if you didn't know by now, the 
most dynamic development on the U.S. 
nightclub scene in years is the disco- 
théque—a place in which to dance to 
both live and recorded music. It has 
its roots in contemporary Paris and its 


albums... 
each an 
event. 
eacha 
magnificent 
achievement 


1. RED ARMY ENSEMBLE, VOL. 3: 
Soviet Army Chorus and Band 
2. RACHMANINOV CONCERTO NO. 3 IN 
D MINOn: Pianist, Witold Malcuzynski 
3. SAINT-SAENS CONCERTO NO, 3 IN 
B MINOR FOR VIOLIN AND ORCHESTR 
& CHAUSSON PoEME: Nathan Milstein 
4. HANDEL, THE TWELVE CONCERTI 
GRosst, Op. 6: Yehudi Menuhin and 
the Bath Festival Orchestra 

5. BARRER OF SEVILLE HIGHLIGHTS: 
Victoria de Jos Angeles, Luigi Alva, 
Sesto Bruscantini 

6. MOZART MASS IN C MINOR, K.427: 
Edith Mathis, The Southwest German 
Chamber Orch. & Madrigal Choir 


HELP YOUR FRIENDS SHAKE THE CIGARETTE HABIT THE EAGLE WAY: 


WEAR A TROMBLEE! 


NE school of motivational theory holds that the popularity of button-down collars stems 
from fear that somebody will steal your necktie. If that is so, what better way to keep friends 
from snitching your cigarettes than a button-down pocket, too? * Our newest model, the Tromblee, 
is the answer, especially with friends who are trying to shake the habit! * It is the man who is striving 
to quit who resorts to hard core bumming; i.e., simply plucking one out as he murmurs, “Do you 
mind?" * Sure you do, but it is too late; he is already lighting it with shaking fingers- and your 
matches, like as not. A button-down pocket is a great deterrent. So don't delay; “A Tromblee in time 
saves nine,” and occasionally the whole pack. * If you yourself are still trying to stop or cut down, 
try a Tromblee. It beats the hell out of will-power. * The first step is to buy a triple* button-down 
Tromblee, for about $7.00; in white and various conservative colors (here shown in Barrywater Gold) 
and stripes. * As to the name, it is to honor Mr. Douglas Tromblee of Baytown, Texas, where it is 
no-coat weather oftener than not. Over the years he has become an authority on using shirt pockets 
to carry things in. We therefore sought his opinion on button-down flap pockets. He thought it 
was the worst idea he had ever heard of. Having decided to fly in the face of his judgment the 
least we can do is name it for him. So there’s a Tromblee in your future if not in Tromblee’s. 
“We got the extra button from the back of the collar; buttons don't grow on trees, you know. 


© 1964 (1f you want to know where to get Eagle Shirts in your town, write Bunny Afflerbach, EAGLE SHIRTMAKERS, QUAKERTOWN, PENNSYLVANIA.) 


PLAYBOY 


56 


The man of action 
has good reason 
to be irresistibly drawn 
to the pullover jacket. 
Zip, he opens the neck. Zip, zip, he 


opens its sides. Zip, zip, he opens its 
pockets. Or closes them. 


Not a moment’s precious time that might 
be spent in conquering new worlds is lost 
in dressing when you wear a pullover jacket. 


Especially the Turtle Pop by 


ZERO KING 


The Turtle Pop by Zero King, about $30., available at fine stores, 
or write B. W. Harris Manufacturing Company, Park Square, St. Paul 1, Minn. 


ardent rooters currently are jamming 
i including the Playboy 
nd Phoenix—in half 
a dozen major U.S. locales. Los Angeles 
has emerged with the biggest and brassi- 
est of the discos—Whisky à GoGo (8901 
Sunset Boulevard)—a frenetic watering 
spot inspired by its more docile Parisian 
namesake. Outside, closed-circuit televi- 
sion provides glimpses of the interior, 
where the wailing voice and he 
handed electric guitar of group leader 
Johnny Rivers interpret tunes like La 
Bamba, Midnight Special and Go, 
Johnny, Go. Inside, a mass of loose- 
limbed dancers on a. postagestamp-sized 
floor gyrate the Watusi, the Hitch-Hike, 
the Swim, the Monkey, the Frug (pro- 
nounced Froog) the Chicken, the Bug 
and the Dog. Two shortskirted maidens 
demonstrate the latest dance in a 9- 
foot-square glassenclosed booth dangling 
30 [eet above the floor. (The GoGo girls 
have personally schooled the 
Hedda Hopper, Gina Lollobrigida, Shel- 
ley Winters and Pat Boone.) When the 
live musicians take five, the girls convert 
the place into a true discothèque, play- 
ing record requests made from strategi- 
cally located floor telephones on a $3500 
stereophonic sound system. Whisky à 
GoGo is open seven d. week from 
4 p.m. to 4 A.M. (with the Sunday session 
beginning a half hour carlier). There is 
no cover or minimum. To make c 
his disque won't slip, owner Shelly 
Davis recently installed $20,000 worth 
of air-conditioning equipment, a much- 
needed addition in light of the heated 
carryingson. 


A discothique of another color and 
another coast is Shepheard’s, a down-to- 
earth oasis within the rarefied precincts 
of New York's ultradignified Drake Ho- 
tel (Park Avenue and 56th Street). Here, 
hip disc jockey-in-residence Slim Hyatt 
supplies the vinyl sounds that are rein- 
forced by a rhythm section of bass, 
drums and vibes. The discothécaire jug- 
gles records on three turntables to supply 
music to fit his impression of the mood 
of the crowd, which he watches through 
a peephole. His judgment is astute, and 
as the crowd warms up to him, he heats 
up the music to the crowd. The rhythm 
section merely follows what he plays. 
The whole thing happens nightly, no 
exceptions, in a semiexotic Egyptian 
atmosphere echoing the club's namesake, 
the famous Cairo hotel burned by an 
Egyptian mob—for political, not acsthet- 
; reasons—in 1952. The place is always 
jammed for late-night dancing (until 
5 AM), with Shepheard's decorative 
sphinxes bearing mute witness to the 
wild proceedings. The menu is French 
and pleasant, but hardly distinguished, 
which matters little, since sustenance 
the last thing on most discothéqueniks 


minds, 
Ba 


Playboy Clik News : 


YOUR ONE PLAYBOY CLUD KEY 
ADMITS YOU TO ALL PLAYBOY CLUBS 


164, PLAYBOY CLUBS INTERNATIONAL 
'INCUISHED CLUBS IN MAJOR CITIES 


PLAYBOY CLUBS OPEN IN KANSAS CITY, BALTIMORE; 
CINCINNATI DEBUTS SEPT. 19; L.A. IN NOVEMBER 


SAVE $25 BY APPLYING FOR KEY NOW 


CHICAGO (Special) — Amer- fall premiere and occupy 


VOL.IL NO.50 fi SPECIAL EDITION SEPTEMBER 1964 


ica's fastest growing key-club 
chain will be ten links long with 
thc openings of three new 
Playboy Clubs this summer. 
The Kansas City Playboy Club 
atop the Hotel Continental made 
its debut in June and gives key- 
holders a breath-taking view of 
the city from the 22nd floor. 
Having made its July premiere, 
the Baltimore Club at 28 Light 
Strect offers East Coast key- 
holders Playboy-styled pleasures 
in four levels of luxurious club- 
rooms. The Cincinnati Club at 
35 East 7th Street opens this 
month just opposite the Shu- 
bert Theater and boasts an im- 
posing see-through copper fire- 
place between the Living Room 
and the Playmate Bar. 

The Los Angeles Club, the 
eleventh link in the rapidly ex- 
panding chain, is slated for a 


There's always something new at 
Playboy! Bunnies demonstrate 
latest dance crazes at Playboy's 
discothèque in Miami's Penthouse. 


PLAYBOY CLUB LOCATIONS. 


Clubs Open—Baltimore at 28 
Tight St; Chicago at 116 E. Wal- 
ton St; Cincinnati at 55 E. Tth St. 
Detroit at 1014 E. Jefferson Ave. 
Kansas City atop the Hotel Con- 
tinental; Miami at 7701 Biscayne 
Blvd.: New Orleans at 727 Rue 
Iberville; New York st 5 E. 53th 
SL; Phoenix at 3033 N. Central; 
St. Louis at $914 Lindell Blvd. 


Locations Set—Atlantainthe Di 
kler Plaza Motor Inn; Los Angeles 
at6560 Sunset Blvd; San Francisco 
at 736 Montgomery St.; Washing- 
ton, D. C., corner of 10th & L Sta. 


Next in Line—Boston, Camden- 
Philadelphia, Dallas, 


the first three floors of the multi- 
million-dollar Playboy building 
at 8560 Sunset Boulevard. Key- 
holders on the West Coast, like 
those in New York and Chicago, 
will enjoy a luxurious VIP Room, 

By ordering your key today, 
you can take advantage of the 
$25 Charter Rate that applies 
in new Club areas before the 
$50 Resident Key Fee goes into 
effect (as in Chicago and 
Florida). If you enjoy PLAYEOY, 
you'll delight in the many fea- 
tures of The Playboy Club in- 
spired by the world's leading 
entertainment magazine. 

Beautiful Bunnies grect you 
at the door and guide you 
through a world designed with 
your personal pleasure in mind. 
Icy ounce-and-a-half-plus bev- 
erages are served to you in the 
Penthouse showroom with four 
lively shows nightly, in the 
Living Room where jazz groups 
swing until the wee hours at 
the Piano Bar, and in the con- 
vivial Playmate Bar. For the 
same price as a drink, you'll 
enjoy Playboy's charcoal-broiled 
filet mignon in the Penthouse, or 
a bounteous buffet in the famous 
Living Room. 

Your silver Playboy Club key 
will admit you not only to thc. 
new Clubs in Kansas City, 
Baltimore, Cincinnati and Los 
Angeles, but to every present 
and future Playboy Club. All 
new Clubs revel in the same 
high-spirited fun found in 
Playboy Clubs throughout the 
nation. Apply now to save $25. 


PLAYBOY EXTRAS 
FOR KEYHOLDERS 


In addition to admitting you to 
every Playboy Club in the 
world, your Playboy Club key 
also offers a long list of extras. 
Among these are Vir, the color- 
ful Playboy Club magazine 
mailed regularly to keyholders; 
the Playmate Key-Card for your 
wife or girlfriend, entitling your 
playmate to visit the Club 
during luncheon and cocktail 
hours; and guest Key-Checks 
which permit your friends to 
visit the Club in any city when 
you cannot take them, 


Hugh M. Hefner, President of Playboy Clubs International, is greeted at the 


Kansas 


ity airport by Bunny Patti, August's Playmate-Bunny China and 


Bunny Joyce as he arrives for the debut of the Kansas City Playboy Club. 


ATLANTA, SAN FRANCISCO AND 
WASHINGTON, D.C., DEBUTS PLANNED 


Before 1964 is out, the Bunnies will be hopping to keyholders’ 
wishes in Atlanta, San Francisco and Washington, D.C. The 


Atlanta Playboy Club will offer 
luxurious clubrooms on two 
floors of the now-under-con- 
struction Dinkler Plaza Motor 
Inn. The second West Coast 
Playboy Club is already under 
construction at the foot of San 
Francisco's famous Telegraph 
Hill-the four-story, million- 
dollar Club is scheduled to 
debut at 736 Montgomery St, 
in the very heart of the city's fun 
area. The newest location for 
Playboy's sophisticated Rabbit 
is set in the nation's capital at 
the corner of 19th & L Streets. 


"p^: 


Jf 


San Francisco Playboy Club debut 
is scheduled for first of year. 


F^ — JOIN THE PLAYBOY CLUB TOOAY/CLIP ANO MAIL THIS APPLICATION == =} 


[| sm IHUCSISEERG UEM 
Ce PLAVEOY MAGAZINE, 252 Cast Ohio Street, Chicago, nois 60611 


D Enclosed find $. 
D I wish only informa 


Key Fee is $25 except within a 75-mile radius of Chicago and in Florida. where 
keys are $50. (Key feeincludes $1 for year's subscriptionto vi»,theClub magazine.) 
Bilmetor$ — — 
n about joining The Playboy Club. 


a ee 


I 

] Sentlemen: 

i tor key privileges to The Playboy Club. 

| nme = {PLEASE PRINT; 

i GGCUPRTION 

1 AODRESS = 

l ow = STATE IF COE 
I 

I 

I 


eter. 20 


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Enjoy a new freedom of movement in your Levi's. 
Stretch Levi’s made with Fortrel polyester and cotton 
are available in Ivy Trimeuts or bold cuffiess Loops. 
The Fortrel fiber in the blend gives them the 
strength to stand up to any amount of wear. 

No matter how you stretch it. Try a pair. 

In handsome fall colors. Sizes 26-36 

for Loops. 28-38 for Trimcuts. Just $7.98 at 

your Levi's sportswear style center. 


Fortrel...a 


à contemporary fiber 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


Ib it proper to remove a girl's fashion 
wig before making love to her?—S. L., 
Baltimore, Maryland. 

When making love on relatively for- 
mal (black-tie) occasions, leave your 
partner wigged. On informal dates, 
country weekends, and any time before 
five, untressing is permissible—if your 
date consents, of course. But under no 
circumstances should you move to re- 
move your partners wig if you suspect 
(I) she's not wearing one, or (2) she's 
bald underneath, 


Ilse been raised in a rural atmos- 
phere, I've always retained a country- 
store attitude toward my personal 
finances. I never bought on time, never 
purchased what I couldn't afford, and 
always paid cash. That's my problem. 
I've just moved to a fine job in a new 
city, and would like to embark on a life 
that befits my new-found economic s 
tus. However, I find myself totally ui 
ble to secure needed credit, because my 
pay-ts-you-go past left no onc to vouch 
for me. Do you have any suggestions? — 
Y. L., Shreveport, Louisiana. 

The simplest way for you to quickly 
establish credit is to get a bank loan (a 
collateral loan, secured by your auto or 
other possessions, would be cheapest), put 
the money in a savings account where it 
will draw interest, then repay the loan 
promptly when it’s due. This way you 
can immediately show potential credi- 
tors a nice nest egg, and after you've 
paid the loan promptly, the lender will 
gladly supply future cash and a credit 
reference to boot. (And while you've got 
a bank balance, cite it as you apply for 
half-a-dozen special- and general-purpose 
credit cards—useful credit devices, even 
if you neuer have occasion to use them.) 
If you shop around, you should be able 
lo borrow at six percent and bank at 
four-and-a-half, for a net cost of a bar- 
gain-basement one-and-a-half percent. 


€ quit smoking, but my girl still has a 
two-pack habit. She's used to having me 
light her cigarettes, and now that T no 
longer indulge she still wants me to 
carry a lighter for her personal use. 
Any suggestiong—F. Dearborn, 
Michigan. 

Why don’t you get the girl off your 
back and score some points at the same 
lime by presenting her with her own 
personal, monogrammed lighter—which 
she'll be proud to flourish whenever she 
needs a light. Her lave of feminine gew- 
gaws should overcome a rather antedilu- 
vian approach to cigareliquette. 


ust before leaving for a three-year 
jaunt with the Armed Forces in the Far 
East, I became engaged to a girl in the 
States, whom I won't see for another 11 
months, We plan to be married as soon 
as my hitch is up. She's not dating, and 
expects me to refrain also. What do 
you think?—W. H., San Francisco, Cali- 
fornia. 

We think you made a mistake when 
you got engaged just before shipping 
out. Extended engagements between 
separated parties place unreasonable re- 
straints on both of them and are con- 
ducive to the guilt of broken pledges. We 
suggest you suspend your engagement 
until you're reunited. If your mutual at- 
traction is genuine, it will be strength- 
ened, rather than diminished, by mutual 
exposure to others. If the feelings do not 
last out the separation, they would prob- 
ably not last out a marriage either. 


Which wines should be chilled?— 
K. R., West Redding, Connecticut 

Red inet norrit 
served at room temperature, and for the. 
rest, the general rule is the sweeter the 
wine the cooler it should be. White and 
rosé wines should be chilled (one to 
three hours in the refrigerator is 
enough), while sparkling wines should 
be served at nearfreczing temperatures. 
But be careful not to overchill, or to 
chill for too long—because either will 
impair flavor and bouquet. 


wines are 


VV arive a sports car, and find full-length 
topcoats a real discomfort. Is it proper 
to wear a car coat with a business suit? 
—J.C., New York, New York. 

The realities of modern automotive 
life have made the car coat acceptable 
apparel for businesswear, provided fab- 
tic and design are neither too country nor 
sporty. Three-quarter-length coats, per- 
fect for sports-cardriving execs, are now 
available in a variety of urban-oriented 
fabries—including worsteds, solid-color 
wools, and even miniature herringbones. 


[o of the girls I date is perfectly 
normal with one exception: She insists 
that we each take a hot, soapy shower 
nmediately after intercourse. I don't 
particularly mind this, but it has a ritual 
air which 1 find a lite eerie. Do yout— 
K. €., Walla Walla, Washington 

Yes, bul if these hygienic high jinks 
are the only hang-up in an otherwise 
good relationship, count yourself lucky 
(and clean). 


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The group I play poker with uses 
Hoyle as an arbiter of disputes. I know 
that “Hoyle” is an ent authority— 
which makes me suspect that he's out of 
date by now. Am I righ?—W. M, Eu- 
gene, Oregon. 

Yes and no. Edmund Hoyle was an 
English barrister who gave up the law to 
write “A Short Treatise on the Game of 
Whist, Containing the Laws of the 
Game, and Some Rules Whereby a Be. 
ginner May, with Due Attention to 
Them, Attain to the Playing It Well.” 
The book became a runaway best seller 
of the 1740s. Though he subsequenily 
wrote on two other card games (piquet 
and quadrille), Hoyle never played pok- 
er, never wrote a rule about it and, in 
fact, had never even heard of the game. 
However, his writings were so successful, 
and his pronouncements so authorila 
live, thet virtually every rulebook for 
card and board games published since 
his death has been called a “Hoyle.” 


Though none of the contemporary 
“Hoyles” contains Hoyle’s original 


words, they do preserve his attitudes of 
fair play and common sense. From this 
standpoint, one rulebook is much the 
same as all the vest, settling infrequent 
disputes which may occur in groups (like 
your own) who rely mainly on their own 
house conventions. 


W first began going with Susan when I 
was a sophomore in college. Like a fool, 
l bragged to my fraternity buddies 
about our lovemaking cxploits. The 
more I went with Susan, however, the 
more I realized that this was not just 
a casual allair. OL course, I quickly 
stopped my boasting. Now, almost three 
years later, I'm thinking of asking her to 
marry me. If I do, I don't know how I'll 
be able to face my friends. Advicez— 
EK, San cisco, California. 

We asume youve been facing them 
successfully over the last three years, and 
if so, marriage shouldn't change things. 
It’s too bad that you permitted. sopho- 
moric braggadocio to get the better of 
discretion, but that was three years ago; 
chalk it up to youthful ego building and 
forget it—as your friends no doubt al- 
ready have. If youve been going steady 
with this girl since then, anyone con- 
cerned enough to think about it will 
have long since concluded that yours is 
an intimate relationship anyway, no 
matter what you've said or not said. 


Wl picked up a tweed cape while in Eng- 
land. Its a handsome article, and Fd 
like to know when I can properly wear 
it here in the States—R. A., Lynchburg, 
Virginia. 

Provided you have the bearing to 
sport a cape without looking like Count 


ARegal Corker. 


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56 ppd., FET. included. 


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Dracula, you may wear a tweed cape on 
amy occasion that calls for speciator- 
sports attire. 


AA year or so ago T began an affair with 
my lady boss, who—though she's one 
rung above me on our corporate ladder 
is my age and quite a knockout. I went 
into the relationship with no ulterior 
motives—other than a good time, which 
we both found. However, as usually hap 
pens with alfairs like this, we outgrew it 
—or at least I did. "Thats my problem: 
This woman has been absolutely livid 
for ten days. She insists thar I get back 
in line, and has even threatened ob- 
liquely that unless 1 cooperate she'll 
make bad trouble for me upstairs, mean 
ing (I assume) my job—which I don't 
want to lose. Suggestions?—P. A., New 
York, New York. 

Don't let yourself be blackmailed into 
stud service. Keep to yourself, and trust 
that this presumably intelligent woman, 
in a position of responsibility such as 
you describe, will cool off and act intel- 
ligently. However, if she does attempt to 
prevail on higher-ups to give you the ax, 
you must overcome your inclinations io 
the contrary and climb the stairs with 
your ewn side of the story. And hence- 
forth, try to keep your love life separaie 
from your business life. 


Katy, Ive seen advertisements for 
shoes made of a new synthetic material. 
Can you tell me something about them? 
—O.T., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 

This new substance is Corfam, devel- 
oped by du Pont, a leatherlike synthetic 
which “breathes” like the real thing 
(porosity is a prerequisite for footwear) 
and which shares leather's ability to take 
a shape and keep it. Du Pont says that, 
unlike leather, Corfam will never wear 
out, never rol. Many manufacturers now 
offer top-line shoes with Corjam uppers, 
at a minimum of around $20 a pair. 


M oso an XKE, which presens me 
with an interesting problem: It's so low 
that the skirts of my dates tend to ride 
up when they're getting out of the car 
As I hold the door, should I discreetly 
avert my eyes, or turn my back altogeth 
cr? Or should I suggest that the dem- 
oiselles make their enuances and exits 
unassisted?—K. F., Washington, D.C. 
Keep your eyes on your work, which, 
in this case, is assisting your dates from 
your car. Girls have a surprisingly acule 


awareness of when and what they're 


showing, and the auto exit is a iradi- 
tionally acceptable scene for a bit of 
healthy exhibitionism. Don't let your 
gentlemanly instincts spoil what amounts 
to good clean fun; if you look away too 
often, your girls might get the idea you 
don’t like the merchandise. 


Photographed in Zermatt, Switzerland. 
Transportation via SABENA Belgian World Airlines, Europe's most helpful airline. 


—— 
CHRISTIANIA 


Robert Bruce 


Designed by famous Paul Mage of Copenhagen, this authentic Robert Bruce 
Scandinavian comes in a softly-brushed machine-washable blend of 85% "'Orlon*"" 
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there's a matching cardigan in sizes 34-40, about $15.95. (Pullovers slightly less). 
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62 


WM aways thought that pizza was an 
American dish, unknown in Italy. How- 
ever, a friend of mine, just returned 
from Rome, says he ate a pizza there 
(only second-rate, incidentally) and th 
it's a native Italian dish. I maintain 4 
what he ate must have been introduced 
by American Gls, and that no I -class 
Italian would be caught dead eating piz- 
za. Who's right—K. J., Park Forest, 
Illinois. 

The answer lies in the origin of the 
dish, which is, indeed, Italian. Or 
nally, the flat cake of baked dough 
called pizza served as a test of dough 
consistency and oven temperature before 
baking loaves of bread. The flatness of 
the test sample facilitated quick baking 
—hence, quick testing. Thrifty Italians 
saved the test cukes to give to the poor— 
who garnished them with cheese, toma- 
to, bits of meat, anchovies, sausage, or 
whatever else they could put their hands 
on. It’s not strictly true that Italian 
gourmets shun pizza; though it does 
have the reputation of being a poor man 
dish, many well-off Italians cat pizz 
with the same nostalgic fondness Ameri- 
can Southerners feel for fat back and 
boiled greens, or proper Bostonians for 
pork and beans, And although pizza is 
served in restaurants in Italy, its popu- 
larity is a post-War phenomenon, and 
the dish is not offered in restaurants 
with any pretension to quality cuisine. 
(This is even true in the U.S., where 
gourmets interpret the absence of pizza 
on an Malian menu as an index of au- 
thenticity and, therefore, quality.) 


Tim a healthy girl who happens to have 
one good friend who's a homosexual 
guy. My parents and friends think this 
relationship can bring me nothing but 
grief, but I find this person charming 
and companionable. He shares interests 
of mine that I've never been able to 
get my regular boyfriends the least bit 
curious about, and 1 can talk with him 
for hours on end on subjects which my 
other friends lind boring. Do you think 
I'm mistaken to platonically pal around 
with this person?—R. W., Queens, New 
York. 

‘As long as you're not using this [riend- 
ship to shield yourself from heterosexu- 
ality, we sce nothing objectionable in the 
association. 


All reasonable questions — from fash- 
ion, food and drink, hi-fi and sports cars 
lo dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette 
— will be personally answered if the 
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed 
envelope. Send all lelters to The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 232 E. Ohio 
Street, Chicago, Illinois 60611. The most 
provocative, pertinent queries will be 
presented on these pages each month. 


Here is intelligent footwear, the perfect back-to-school ward- 
robe. The corduroy Gold Cup! Casuals with the glasses cost 
$5. Wear them as slippers or to pad around campus. They're 
hand-lasted like fine shoes, heeled and soled for long wear, in. 
nersoled with foam to put bounce in your step. If you prefer 
the plaid Casuals, $4 is the price; and $3.50 will buy the 
vinyls. Their sole-mates are famous Gold Cup! Socks which 
you'll recognize by their show of colors. There are 35, but we 
didn't have room here. They re softas cashmere, rugged as their 


ourcer im foumunaron me 


How to 
think 
on your 


75% Orlon", 2566 stretch nylon blend. Cost, $1.50. The pure 
white crew sock is the Burlington Olympic. It’s the official 
choice of che U.S. Olympic Team, and they should know. You 
can too for $1. Which brings us to Top Brass!, che dress sock. 
It reaches up 16" to just over the calf—and stays there—a per- 
fect cover up of 70% wool, 30% stretch nylon at $2. Chances 
are your men’s store has everything on this page. If nor, ask us. 


BURLINGTON SOCKS « CASUALS 


63 " 


the new J-formation 


Note these splendid colors, all in 65 percent mohair and 35 percent wool, all in v-neck and high- 
button cardigans and v-neck pullovers: Green clay heather on Frank Gifford. Winter white on , —— 
Terry Baker. Red on Paul Hornung. Marb \be Woodson. Rust on Charley Johnson. Blue grey é 

heather on Buddy Dial. Copper on Jess Whittenden. Light blue on a friend. Spruce green on Dick Jan tzen 
Bass. Pale yellow on Jim Taylor. Brown multi on Terry Barr. Gulf blue on Tommy Mason. After Á 

Tom Kelley took the picture, we added camel. Pullovers about $16.95, cardigans about $19.95, 

where you see the slogan "sportswear for sportsmen. internan SPORTS CLUB 


PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK 


BY PATRICK CHASE 


ALTHOUGH ANY VACATIONER secking to 
avoid crowds of tourists will enjoy a No- 
vember jaunt to Europe, ski buffs find 
the Continent especially appealing for 
its early schussing season. In the French 
Alps, the last word in off-season opu- 
lence is offered by the super deluxe Ho- 
tel Savoy in Chamonix or the Mont 
d'Arbois in Mépéve. But bachelors—and 
bachelorettes—may find nearby Courche- 
vel more congenial because of its unique 
hoxelry—Hotel des Célibataires which 
caters to unmarried guests. (Don't let 
the name of the hotel put you off—céli- 
bataire, in French, connotes a state of 
unwed bliss.) The hotel is a small place, 
situated at the foot of the slopes, and its 
owner, Madame Monique Grass, man 
ages admirably to keep the aprésski ac- 
tion intime. Because the hotel has no 
restaurant, its young guests—mostly the 
St-Tropez discotheque set—generally 
make the rounds of the excellent cafés 
and chalet-restaurants in Courchevel. 
For more conventional after-hours enter- 
tainment, its an easy swing to Cha- 
monix' lovely—and lively —casino. 

Also in the French Alps, the finest 
skiing, perhaps in all the world, is found 
at Vuld'Isére; from nearby Auron and 
Valberg you can combine skiing with 
lazing on the sunny beaches of the 
French Riviera less than two hours away 
by car. 

In Portugal, the small ski lift at Co- 
vilhà in the Serra da Estré 
tains, 900 miles northeast of Lisbon, 
supplements low-key 
zestful after-ski atmosphere at the town's 
only inn. Although the lift rises only 260 
feet, a cable car is being built to reach 
the summit of the mountain. Ehere's also 
good skiing on the slopes of Mt. Etna in 
Sicily. Drive or fly to Catania, then fol- 
low the highway up the side of the 
mountain to the Grand Hotel Etna, 
perched on the south slope amid the 
ancient pines of Serra La Nave. In Spain, 
of course, the most famous winter-sport 
centers are at Molina and Nuria, with 
others even closer to Madrid. But a lesser 
xnown slope at Camprodon, relatively 
close to Barcelona, offers good skiing on 
fall to 


a moun- 


schussing with a 


relatively virgin slopes from late 
carly spring. 

If you prefer sun to snow, an excellent 
November holiday can be enjoyed at a 
Caribbean guesthouse. In Puerto Rico, 
for example, great old mansions with 
whitewashed walls and vividly tiled roofs 
have been renovated to provide the last 
word in modern comfort and luxury. 
"Their rooms, furnished in Spanish colo- 
nial style, frequently open onto clois- 


arcades inner 
courtyards 

If you locate yourself near San Juan, a 
rewarding side wip may be made to El 
Mirador de Anones, a superb country 
restaurant perched 3500 feet above sea 
level. We suggest you rent a car and 
drive thc entire distance southwest from 
the capital to Naranjito, then south on 
Route 152 and east on winding Route 
814. Serving only native dishes, owner 
Fortunato has parlayed a magnificent 
view and great cooking into one of Puer- 
to Rico's most successful restaurants. 
From there, we suggest you drive west 
across the island to the small fishing vil- 
lage of Parguera. Beyond the dock of the 
Villa Parguera lie litde mangrove is- 
lands and empty beaches perfect for two: 
some picnics, coral hunting and diving 
down to bright reefs. 

Another way to duck the throngs in 
luxury is to seek out naturally isolated 
resorts on offbeat islands. We particular- 
ly enjoy the 50-room El Lobo Hotel on 
Cayo Lobos (just 25 minutes from San 

n by air taxi), for its unusual swim- 
ming facilities—a huge, natural pool 
sheltered from the ocean by a magnif- 
icent coral reef. 

If is only a weekend jaunt in the 
States you're after, a rollicking good one 
can be enjoyed in New Orleans, where 
local citizens tend to transform any occa- 
sion into a celebration. Most every Sun. 
day through November, you'll find 
marching bands parading through the 
French Quarter just for the sheer hell of 
it. Many of these are sponsored by 
the New Orleans Jazz Club. Almost every 
night you'll find jam sessions for which 
the only cover charge is a contribution 
to the kitty. 

One of the delightful problems we 
consistently confront in New Orleans i 
that we're seldom there long enough to 
sample all the fine dining the city offers. 
One solution, successfully applied by a 
friend of ours, is a “progressive dinner.” 
One that you might adopt starts with a 
sazerac at the bar of the Hotel Roosevelt 
(where the drink originated), followed 
by oysters at Messina's Oyster House. 
"Then soup at the Gumbo Shop and, for 
fish, trout amandine at Galatoire's. On to 
Antoine's for chicken Rochambeau, and 
for dessert and coffee to Les Pat 
aux Quatre Saisons. A l4layer pousse- 
café in the heated courtyard at Bren 
nan’s tops it off in truly gracious 
antebellum style. 

For further information on any of the 
above, write to Playboy Reader Serv. 
ice, 232 E. Ohio St., Chicago, LI. 60511. d 


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Are you using 
untropical limes in your 
tropical drinks? Don't you 
know that the deliciously 
tart juice of Rose's limes, 
grown only in the lush 
Indies, can do more for 
drinks than ony local 
limes can do? Try this: 


»f while f| 


the Rose's lime Collins. 
3 parts of gin, rum or 
vodka to one part of 
Rose's Lime Juice. Pour 
into a tall glass, add 
soda. Stir. Decorate with 
a tiny sprig of mint. Or 
this: the classic Rose's 
Gimlet. Pour one part of 
cool Rose's into 4 or 5 
parts of gin or vocka, 
stir with ice. Pour into 

a champogne glass, add 
a cube. Or the equally 


re’s Rose’s. 
excellent Rose's Daiqui 
one part Rose's to 2 parts 
light rum and o dash of 
sugor. Shake with cracked 
ice, strain into cocktail 
glass. Finally, treat your- 
self to the Rose's Tonic. 
Simply add a dash of 
Rose’s fo a jigger of gin 
in a tall gloss. Fill with 
Schweppes Tonic. 


No matter what 
tropical drink you dote. 
on, be fair to it. Use only 
Rose’s Lime Juice. It's the 
lime juice made from 
fropical limes, you know. 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy” 


SUICIDE IN RALEIGH 

The enclosed clippings from the May 
9 and 10, 1964, Raleigh, North Carolina, 
News and Observer show how well jus- 
ice was served and society protected in 
our city by the arrest of two local men 
for committing a “crime a 
and by the subsequent su 


the men. I shudder to think of the crimes 
these two could have perpetrated against 
society if they had not been apprehend- 
ir-old. 


ed. And how fitting that the 26y 
"criminal" took his own life, 
just punishment for committing this 
most heinous of all crim 
The wagic and senseless waste of this 
episode was made all the more distu 
ig to me by Hefner's shocking edito 
in the April pLaysoy about the laws gov- 
ng sexual behavior in the United 
States. I can only hope his crusade 
against the hypocrisies created in our so- 
ciety by the lip service paid by the ma- 
jority to a way of life that has ceased to 
exist for all but a few, will lead to re- 
medial measures—first among them re- 
moval of these vicious laws from the books. 
. Horace L. 


The unfortunate 
you refer is but one of the numberless 
instances of the Hurt and heartache 
caused by irrational and suppressive U 
sex laws. Hefner continues his discussion 
of the subject in the installment of “The 
Playboy Philosophy” in this issue. 


ILLINOIS SEX STATUTES 

The closing paragraphs of the April 
Philosophy do 1 wmakers. 
justice. Hefner states that the revised Il- 
linois Criminal Code of 1961 dropped 
the state's former sodomy statute, but 
retained laws prohibiting fornication 
and adultery; he added that Illinois thus 
permits heterosexual and homos 
perversion while prohibiting normal se 
ual se. Closer inspection of the 
statute will show that neither adultery 
nor fornication are 
except when such bel “open and 
notorious.” Professor Claude R. Sowle, 
n explanation of the 1961 Illinois 
iminal Code, states that “it is the pur- 
pose of the act to penalize only conduct 
which constitutes an affront to public 
decency.” 


n in- 


(Name withheld by request) 
Chicago, Illinois 


I have just 
April 1964 issue of PLAYBOY wi 
interest. I believe the nextto- 
agraph may cause some misunderstand- 
ing among your readers, however. It 
states: ""This example of modern legisla- 
tive acumen is not without its irony, 
however. The Illinois lawmakers did rc- 
move the state's sodomy statute, but they 
left standing the statutes against fornica- 
tion and adultery. Illinois is thus in the 
unique position of permitting all so- 
called ‘perversion,’ both osexual 
and homosexual, wl ting nor 
mal sexual intercourse," 

If you will ex: n the Illi- 
nois statutes on fornication and adul- 
tery (Ch. 38, Secs. 11-7, 11-8), you will 
find that this coi 
if the behavior 
or the partners col 
also that deviate sexual conduct. 
hibited as "public indecency” if per 


formed “in a public place." It is true, as 
Hefner suggests, that deviate sexual 
conduct is not included in the pro- 
hibitions against fo ion and adul- 


tery, but, as a practical matter, it is 
not obnoxious to the moral stand 
the community for male to 
room together, or female and female. It 


inst community standards for per- 
of opposite sex to co unless 
married to each other. It was rhe philos- 


ophy of the drafters of the Illinois stat- 
utes to prohibit only conduct which 
openly and notoriously flouts the com- 
monly accepted moral standards of the 


not 


to make criminal any 
in private between 


consenting adults. 


Charles H. Bowm Professor of Law 


s 
g Subcommittee of 
the Joint Committee to Revise the 
Illinois C; 1 

Champaign, Illinois 

In the paragraph prior to the one you 
quote, Hefner commented on the Model 
Penal Code drafted by the American 
Law Institute in 1955, which stressed 
that the sex laws of the 48 states should 
not make criminal the private sexual 
activities of consenting adults. Hefner 
commended the Illinois legislature as 
the only body of lawmakers among the 
half-hundyed that “has made any serious 
attempt to correct its statutes on sex,” 
but stated (correctly, we believe) that 
while the repeal of the Illinois sodomy 


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law was consistent with the Model Penal 
Code, the siatutes that still exist on 
fornication and adultery are not. 

Several of the states that still have 
laws governing heterosexual intercourse 
outside of marriage include an “open 
and notorious” clause, like Illinois’; 
such statutes, “as a practical matter” 
(based upon actual court decisions, espe- 
cially in the lower courts, which are not 
always upheld on this point), encompass 
more than cohabitation and “public in- 
decency,” and are sometimes used in 
the prosecution of ihe private behavior 
of consenting adults. Hefner was ac- 
curate in his conclusion that the revised 
Illinois sex statutes are more permissive 
regarding homosexual relations than 
nonmarilal heterosexual intercourse, al- 
though this was undoubtedly not the in- 
tent of the legislators. 


CALIFORNIA ADULTERY LAWS 
In the April pLaynoy the chart show- 
the 


ing penalties for sex offenses in 
United States indicates no laws conc 
ing fornication or adultery in the state of 

fornia. The chart is in part correct: 
‘There is no law against fornication (130 
Cal App. 168), but a law does exist 
classifying adultery as a misdemeanor. 
To the best of my knowledge this law is 
not enforced, and the possible sentence 
for offenders is very vague. When ap- 
plied, the law is used in civil cases, so 
why it comes under the penal code is a 
mystery. Tt reads as follows: 


ApULTERY—Section 960a, Califor- 
ia Penal Code. Adultery is the 
ry sexual intercourse of a 
cd person with a person other 
than the offender's wife or hu 


Thus adultery is a misdemeanor on 
the part of a married person, If the oth- 
arty to the relationship 
ried, that person commits no c 
. 278). Formerly two persons 
ed to others, who lived together 
a state of cohabitation and adultery 
were guilty of a felony; an amendment 
(1933) to Section 209b of the penal code 
changed this offense to a 


The definition of adultery given abo 
is actually taken from the California 
divorce laws, rather than the criminal 
laws; thus its application in civil cases. 
Section 269a of the Penal Code is en 
titled “Cohabitation and Adultery” and 
reads: “Every person who lives in a slate 
of cohabitation and adultery is guilty of 
a misdemeanor and punishable by a [ine 
not exceeding $1000 or by imprisonment 
in the county jail not exceeding one 
year, or by both.” Section 269b, entilled 
“Adultery,” states in part: “If two per- 
sons, each being married to another, 
live together in a state of cohabitation 
and adultery, each is guilty of a misde- 


meanor" Because both of these pro- 
visions require living together in a state 
of cohabitation, they are classified as 
cohabilation statutes in the chart of sex 
offenses in the April issue. Adultery is 
not a crime in California unless it in- 
volves cohabitation, but it is grounds 
for divorce. 


SCHOOL PRAYER 

A meritorious concept of prayer, 
which should be acceptable to atheists 
and believers in a Supreme Being alike, 
might be: "Prayer is an expression of the 
soul's sincere desire." In this sense, pray- 
er is the thoughts, feelings and attitudes 
of the individual living in a community 
of equals. Audible public prayer in a 
group situation, on the other hand, 
tends to induce conformity, and is per- 
haps prayer's most superficial and least 
creative expr One can observe 
many examples of public prayer that are 
intellectually immature, morally disrep- 
wtable, and socially reactionary. There- 
fore, it is desirable and essential to close 
such a potential avenue of thought con- 
trol by defeating any and all attempts to 
weaken or destroy the First Amendment 
to the Constitution. Everyone who prizes 
this guarantee of free thought, specch, 
press and petition should make it clear 
to Congressmen and Senators that the 
Becker Amendment [permitting "volun- 
tary” school prayer] would curtail 
freedom rather than preserve it. 

"God" is a cultural prestige symbol, 
more often used and abused than wor- 
shiped in contemporary society. Anyone 
who thinks “God” could care a damn 
what man calls Him in public pro- 
nouncements of an economic, social or 
political nature is not worshiping a su- 
preme or even a superior being, but, 
her, an inferior product of a supersti- 


tious imagination. 
Dr. R. F. Burlingame 

Milan, Michigan 
The Fist Amendment states that 


"Congress shall make no law respecting 
an establishment of religion, or prohibit- 
ing the free exercise thereof... .” By 
permitting “voluntary” school prayer, 
the Becker Amendment would not only 
undermine the constitutional principle 
of separate church and state, that pro- 
tects the religious as well as the secular 
side of sociely; but would create the 
official quandary of what prayer the 
state might establish that would be ac- 
ceptable to all the members of a given 
community. Moreover, if sincerity is the 
essence of prayer, as Dr. Burlingame 
suggests (and few would argue with that 
definition), the public recitation of a 
superficial, state-sanctioned, nondenom- 
inational verse would be a pointless lip 
service, hardly satisfying to the faith of 
any individual involved. 

We wholeheartedly agree, therefore, 
that everyone who prizes his freedom of 
religion, speech, press and petition 


should write or wire his Congressman 
and Senators opposing the Becker 
Amendment, or any similar attempt to 
corrupt the U.S. Coustitution. 


WHAT PRICE PATRIOTISM? 

I would like to thank you for in 
tiating The Playboy Philosophy, giving 
your readers a yardstick by which to 
measure our individual views of the so- 
ciety in which we live. You have brought 
us (I speak plurally because I believe 
that many others feel likewise) to our 
senses, and have caused us to become 
more aware of the influences at work 
about us—at work destroying the liberty 
thatwe all have taken so much for granted. 

I have gone through life unconcerned 
with what my neighbors did, read or 
thought. And I believed the things 1 
did, the books I read and the thoughts 
1 thought did not concern them, 

Now I find that my business is their 


business! At least NODL, CDL, and 
other organizations and individuals of 
their kind seem to think so, I 


prompted to write this letter by an ar- 
ticle in the San Francisco Examiner 
which I quote here in full: 


State Superintendent Max Ra 
told teachers l adm 
from Catholic schools 
Latin should be taught in Califor- 
nia's public schools. 

He also struck out at “garbage 
dump" books, naming J. D. Sal 

agers The Catcher in the Rye, and 
sexy movies, magazines and other 
“essentially fleshy tr 

Dr. Rafferty, the first director of 
public education ever to address the 
all-Catholic group, also urged the 
teaching of moral and spiritual val- 
ues to children in public schools. 

“We agree with you 100 percent 
and have for a long time,” said the 
Very Rev. James D. Poole, Super- 
intendent of Schools of the Dioccse 
of amento, troduced 
Rafferty. 

The audience of 1000 fathers, 
mothers, sisters and lay teacher 
plauded thunderously in 

The Catholic educators 
parochial high schools in C; 
nia, Arizona and Nevada, The un 
of the National Catholic Education 
Association was in convention here 
at Riordan High School. 

Ralferty equated the goals of pro 
gressive education with those of 
atheistic dictatorships, 
are de: 
ism.” 

He blasted the pedagogic jargon 
many educators use, then made fun 
of the results of several researchers 
in the beh 

“I want to give you Rafferty's 
First Law of Research,” he said. 
ndings which fly in the tecth of 


who 


common sense are for the birds.” 

During the question-and-answer 
period, he was asked by one nun 
the best way to teach patriotism, 
tell you how not to teach 
he answered. “Talk 
about Lincoln's poor table manners. 
They were, you know. . .. Tell them 
about Benjamin Franklin's way 
with the ladies .. . 

“Concentrate on the weakness of 
all living flesh, which we all have. 
Concentrate on the scandals of the 
time. Make a fetish of balancing 
every national virtue with a na 
tional vice. 

“This will certainly create bal- 
ance, but it will also be bland and 
Pablumizcd," he said. “We had bet- 
ter teach the children to love their 
country. Anything less than this will 
not produce the guts which we will 
need to guide this Ship of State 
through the tumultuous waters of 
the last half of the 20th Century.” 


What can one say after reading re- 
marks such as these made above by Dr. 
Rafferty? And to think that the man 
who made these asinine statements is no 
less than the Superintendent of Educa- 
tion for the State of California! 
Don Parkhill 
Vallejo, California 
Superintendent Rafferty recently spear- 
headed a campaign against high school 
libraries having copies of a dictionary of 
American slang because he objected to 
some of the words included therein, even 
though it was kept on a restricted shelf 
and available only for legitimate scholar- 
ship and study. So long as the press in 
Galifornia reports fully and honestly on 
his activities, an enlightened citizenry 
should be able to form intelligent judg- 
ments of this public servant and his work. 


BACK HOME IN INDIANA 

On April 6, the young mayor of Mun- 
cie, John V. Hampton, at a meeting of 
the St. Lawrence Holy Name Society, 
called for volunteers to help o1 a 
Citiz for Decent Literature commit 
tee here. A pageone story in The Mun- 
cie Star, April 7, quoted the mayor thus: 
‘Our newsstands are saturated with . . . 
obscene literature which gives our 
young, as well as old, a detailed course 


» perversion.” (He does not, of course, 
define either “obs 


The quote continued: "The public 
must be made to see the harm these 
magazines -.. If we are suc 
cessful in building community standards 
through this [CDL] group, a person scrv- 
ing on a jury who had knowledge of the 
subject, would find a person putting 
these m: es on the market guilty of 
‘knowingly’ selling obscene lit 
-- . This literature, in the wrong hands, 
is as dangerous as any drug, automobile, 
gun or alcohol. Clever publishers have 


our communities permeated with filth.” 
The mayor's plan is to form a CDL 
milar to the Ci 
which Hefner exposed culture 
gap here in Muncie is already wide 
enough without this sort of thinking. 
Hefners presentation of facts about the 
CDL in his Philosophy will continue to 
receive enthusiastic support from those 
citizens who intelligently examine all 
sides of subjects affecting our freedoms. 
Mrs. G. F. Polsley 
Muncie, Indiana 


The 


FREUDIAN SLIP 

Apropos the CDL: I recently sent for 
some of their literature, just to see what 
sort of mischief they were up to. The re- 
ply I received was correctly addressed as 
to name and place, but instead of 
Street" in the proper place, CDL had 
written 


mut"! Talk about Freudian 
slips! How fanatical can you get? 
Ruth Lansford 


Playa del Rey, California 


INDEX LIBRORUM PROHIBITORUM 

Several years ago, while attending a 
Catholic university, I had occasion to 
write a leuer to a magazine in response 
to a statement on academic freedom on 
Catholic campuses. ] wrote, in part, that 
there was little freedom in choosi 
reading material from the university li 
brary, since books on the Roman Inde: 
of Forbidden Books could not be read in 
or taken from the library without writ- 
ten permission, and that, therefore, the 
university was hardly an academically 
free school where all branches of knowl- 
edge are seen as being of service to man. 
1 subsequently found freedom to read 
what I wanted by changing schools, but 
it is not always as casy to escape the cen- 
sor: Consider the New York State Su- 
preme Court's banning of Fanny Hill 
[appeal pending at presstime], and the 
auempt by the GDL, in the May 1964 
Reader's Digest, to enlist support for 
CDL censorship drives. 


‘Thomas Sellers 
airfield, Iowa. 

While the CDL and others of their ilk 
busy themselves trying to control the 
reading habits of their fellow citizens, it 
is encouraging that the liberal element 
in the Catholic Church appears to con- 
tinue lo gain in strength and influence. 
Readers will be interested in the follow 
ing news item from the April I editions 
of The Washington Post: 


The “Index of Forbidden Books 
an institution of the Catholic 
Church that intellectuals and frec- 
thinkers have criticized for years, 
was dealt a blow yesterday by the 
Society of Catholic College Teachers 
of Sacred Doctrine. 

Al the annual mecting of the So- 
ciety at the Statler Hilton, the 395 
priests, nuns and brothers attending 


unanimously resolved to ask the 
American Bishops to: 

“Support at the next session of 
the Vatican Council the effort to re- 
form thoroughly that section of 
Canon Law dealing with prohibited 
books and the ‘Roman Index’ so 
that Catholic scholars, teachers and. 
students may be able to enler into 
more meaningful dialog with the 
contemporary world.” 

“Reform thoroughly” really 
meant, according to several mem- 
bers, "do away with? Strong lan- 
guage would be “undiplomalic,” a 
priest said, but the resolution car- 
tied the implication, he said, of 
dropping the "Index" entirely. 


SEE NO EVIL 
How absurd can censorship become, 
once it has taken root in a society? To 
what ridiculous extremes might the i 
tional censor go, if given the opportuni- 
ty? This clipping from The (London) 
Evening News, commenting upon a 
unique form of film censorship in West 
Germany, may suggest an. answei 
See no evil and, presumably, 
you'll speak no evil. So thinks the 
District Council of Bernkastel, in 
West Germany . For when 
the coniroversi 
Silence, opens 
tomorrow, this i will happen: 
1. Police officials will be on duty 
in the aisles. 2. When the three 
mous scenes i 
film—cut in many countr 
shown, the audience ni raise their 
hands or a picce of paper in front 
of their faces to blot out the screen. 
3. Any who are seen peeping will 
be marched out of the cinema. 
‘The leader of the Coun 
Hugo Brix, is reported as s 
“The sexual scenes are such that they 
confuse the moral outlook of young 
people and make numerous citize 
feel ashamed, distressed and hurt. 
Other places West Germany 
have seen the film unaffected by 
cither censor, police or council. 


r local cinema 


understand the feeling of many 
people in Bernkastel is that Dr. 
Brix has dropped one. 


“Dropped one” is the English equiva 
lent of “flipped his lid"! 
mes B. 
London, E 


Harvester 
d 


The Playboy Forum" offers the oppor- 
tunity for an extended dialog between 
readers and editors of this publication 
on subjects and issues raised in our con- 
tinuing editorial series, “The Playboy 
Philosophy.” Address all correspondence 
on either the “Philosophy” or the 
“Forum” to: The Playboy Forum, 
PLAYBOY, 232 E. Ohio Street, Chicago, 
Illinois 60611. 

Ba 


69 


PLAYBOY 


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THE PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY 


the eighteenth part of a statement in which playboy's editor-publisher spells cut— 
for friends and critics alike—our guiding principles and editorial credo 


GEORGE BERNARD SHAW had this to say on 
the subject of immorality: “Whatever is 
contrary to established manners and cus- 
toms is immoral. An immoral act or doc- 
trinc is not necessarily a sinful one: on 
the contrary, every advance in thought 
and conduct is by definition immoral 
until it has converted the majority. For 
this reason it is of the most enormous 
importance that immorality should be 
protected jealously against the attacks of 
those who have no standard except the 
standard of custom, and who regard any 
attack on custom—that is, on morals—as 
an attack on society, on religion, and on 
virtue t c 

“It immorality, not morality, that 
needs protection: it is morality, not im- 
morality, that needs restraint; for moral- 
th all the dead weight of human 
inertia and superstition to hang on the 
ack of the pioncer, and all the malice 
of vulgarity and prejudice to threaten 


him, is responsible for many persecu- 
tions and many martyrdoms . . 
In the February and April install- 


ments of The Playboy Philosophy, we 
examined the extent to which our own 
society has attempted to control sexual 
“immorality” by governmental edict; we 
discussed in detail the degree to which 
the United States perpetuates, through 
its laws, the extreme antisexualism of 
our Puritan religious heritage. 

In addition to the legitimate statutes 
established to protect the individual 
from uninvited and unwelcome acts of 
sexual abuse, aggression and attack, 
there are laws in all 50 of the separate 
states prohibiting—under penalty of finc 
and/or imprisonment—various forms of 
sexual intimacy between consenting 
adults, even within the privacy of a per- 
son's own bedroom and when the inti- 
macy may reflect the considered wishes 
of both partners. 

Our democratic government, dedicat- 
ed to the doctrine of individual freedom 
and the establishment of a permissive 
society, nevertheless invades our most 
private domain and dictates the details 
of our most personal behavior. The gov- 
ernment boldly asserts that our very 
bodies do not belong to us—that we can 
not use them in our own nd at our 
own discretion, but only when and how 
the state permits. In matters of sex, we 


editorial By Hugh M. Hefner 


have already reached Orwell's world of 
49841 

The Icgislators, judges and minor min- 
ions of the law are allowed to lurk in 
the shadows of our bedrooms, to pull 
away the coyers—revealing our naked- 
ness—and to direct the very kisses and 
caresses we may and may not use in our 
lovemal 

"Though we are free citizens in most 
other respects, in sex we are the slaves of 
society and the state. U.S. sex laws are 
among the most restrictive of any coun- 
try’ in the world; and they have helped 
in sustaining what is surely one of the 
most sexnally repressed societies of the 
20th Century. 

Drs. Eberhard and Phyllis Kronhausen 
wrote, in a concluding chapter of their 
book Sex Histories of Amcrican College 
Men: "We cannot help but feel that tie 
present state of sexual confusion and its 
resulting miseries which most of us im 
the Western world have grown accus- 
tomed to enduring are not necessarily 
the most desirable and certainly not the 
only possible experience of which hu- 
manity is capable." 

Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his associates of 
the Institute for Sex Research of Indi- 
ana University, in a summarizing state- 
ment in their comprehensive study 
Sexual Behavior in the Human Female, 
observed: “The law specifies the right of 
the married adult to have regular inter- 
course, but it makes no provision what- 
soever for the approximately 40 percent 
of the population which is sexually 
mature but unmarried. Many . . . unmar- 
ried females and males are seriously dis- 
turbed because the only sources of sexual 
outlet available to them are either 
legally or socially disapproved.” Kinsey 
added, “In nearly every culture in the 
world except our own, there is at least 
some acceptance of coital activities 
among [the] unmarried . . ." 

The late Dr. Harry Stack Sullivan, 
who has been described by others in the 
field of social science as one of the fore- 
most clinici; of our time, commented, 

n The Interpersonal Theory of Psychi- 
atry: "Our culture is the least adequate 
in preparing one for meeting the even- 
tualities of sexual maturity, which is 


another way of saying we are the most 
sexridden people on the face of the 
globe.’ 


SEX AND MARRIAGE 


A majority of U.S. sex laws are pred- 
icated on the religious dogma that sex 
is immoral outside of marriage. The 
marriage license thus becomes a church- 
state sanction to engage in sex. Without 
it, in most parts of the country, a couple 
that engages in coitus is committing a 


in-marriage concept is related, 
in turn, to the religious belief that the 
purpose of sex is procreation. Since chil 
drei e best raised, in the framework 
of our society, as a part of a family unit 
that includes both mother and father, 
there appears to be some rational secular 
justification. for the prohibitions against. 
nonmarital sex. But in order to be some- 
thing more than the governmental en- 
forcement of a religious morality (which 
is totally inconsistent with the American 
doctrine of religious freedom), legis 
should properly be directed 
secular aspect of the problem—prohib- 
1g conception of children out of 
wedlock—rather than indiscriminately 
outlawing all acts of nonmarital i 
macy; and the inconsistency of this 
argument is compounded by our society’s 
willingness to dissolve marriages, through 
state-sanctioned divorce, where children 
of even tender years are involved. 

The religious origin of these statutes 
is especially obvious when one considers 
the unusually severe penalties prescribed 
for acts of nonprocreative sex. If the ac- 
tual purpose of the laws was to assure 
offspring the benefits of being raised in a 
family environment, with both parents 
present and accounted for, the legisla- 
tors would have been most concerned 
with prohibiting those forms of unsanc- 
oncd sex that could result in illegiti- 
mate births. But Judaeo-Christian moral 
tradition has, for 2000 years, stressed ta- 
boos against nonprocreative sexual be- 
havior, and so it is nonprocreative sex— 
marital and extramarital, heterosexual 
and hormosexual—that our lawmakers 
have proclaimed as the most serious 
crimes, and for which they have pre 
scribed the most extreme. punishments. 

‘The religious taboos surrounding non- 


7" 


PLAYBOY 


72 


coital sexual activity may be considered 
consistent with the moral view that the 
purpose of sex is procreation. But the 
person who accepts such a sexual morali- 
ty for himself should still oppose any at- 
tempt on the part of the state to force 
these religious restrictions upon those in 
our society who do not wish to accept 
them. By establishing a specific ses 
as the law, our government deprives 
each individual of the free choice that 
our democracy is supposed to assure. 
ration of the interests of 
church and state is one of the fundamen- 
principles upon which this country 
was founded; it is one of the most im- 
antees of the U. 5. Constitu 
what set American democracy 
apart from the suppressive church-state 
rule of the Old World. 

The laws that govern our land arc 
supposedly created out of a rational and 
humane concern for cach citizen—to pro- 
tect his person and property—and to 
keep secure his inalienable rights to life, 
liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 
"The statutes that. place cocrcive controls 
over the personal sex behavior of the 
adult members of our society are, how- 
ever, quite clearly no more than the 
reflection of a particular religious code 
that is unrelated to our secular. interests 

nd welfare. 


CRIMINAL COITUS 


The state's intrusion into the private 
religious-moral conduct of its citizens 
would be improper even if a relatively 
few members of society were adversely 
affected. But U.S. sex laws are so irra- 
ly conceived, and so unrelated to 
the actual moral conduct of the commu- 
nity, that they make criminals out of al- 
most everyone. 

‘The most authoritative studies of U. S. 
sex behavior indicate that most Amer- 
ican males (over 85 percent) and approx: 


imately half of all females (ranging up 
to 60 percent among women with some 
college education) have sexual inter 


course prior to marriage. And almost all 
men and women (well over 90 percent) 
who have been previously married, but 
who have lost their spouses through 
death or divorce, continue to engage in 
sex on a fairly regular basis, with part 
nets to whom they are not wed. But this 
ex activity is listed as the crime of forn 
cation in 36 of the 50 states, with penal- 
ties ranging from a $10 fine in Rhode 
Island to $1000 and/or one year in pris. 
on in Georgia, Missouri and Nevada. 

In addition, approximately onc out of 
every two married males, and one out of 
every four married females, have sexual 
intercourse with someone other than 
their respective spouses at some time 
during their marriages. This behavior is 
prohibited under adultery statutes in 45 
states, with penalties including both 
fines and imprisonment in most, ranging 
up to five years at hard labor in Maine, 
Oklahoma, South Dakota and Vermont. 


THE SIN OF SEX 


Even though many of our society's 
present attitudes on sex are a direct out- 
growth of the period, it is difficult for 
most of us to conceive the extent of the 
extreme antisexualism that existed in 
America at thc end of the 19th and be- 
ginning of the 20th Centuries, when 
most of our sex statutes were written. 
We devoted the previous installment 
of this editorial series (The Playboy Phi- 
losophy, July 1964) to a consideration of 
s time of suppressive Puritanism in 
America, which had its parallel in the 
ian Era in England a few years 
r. Our grandparents grew up in a 
so ashamed of the human. body 
id its functions, and so ge ly guilt- 
ridden about sex, that it was not consid- 
ered a fit subject even to be discussed in 
polite company; it was clearly under- 
stood that a “nice” girl did not possess 
any sexual desire; and sexual inter- 
course, within the bonds of marriage, 
vas looked upon as a necessary evil for 
the perpetuation of the human race. 
The notion that sex is inherently evil 
has been a part of the Christian tradi- 
tion for centuries, but it has received 
greater emphasis in some periods than in 
others, and we have previously exam- 
ined the complex codification. that the 
1 Church brought to all sexual 
y—both within and outside of 
riage. The Puritans further rein- 
forced this antisexualism after the Ref- 
ormation and cventually almost all 
pleasure was considered. ungodly. 
The sin of sex was ily in its 
pleasure and any sexual act that was 
not for the purpose of procreation, but 
engaged in for pleasure ; was nec- 
essarily and especially immoral. Thus 
masturba sex play with als and 
sexual intimacy between members of 
the same sex were all forbidden by re- 
ligious law, and called for the most 
severe penalties, sometimes including 
death. In the more extreme periods of 
us antisexualism, nonprocreative 
also forbidden between mem- 
of the opposite sex, even with 
we, since it frustrated the me 
ious) purpose of sexual congress. 
Out of the close alliance of church 
and state in Europe, many of these ec- 
clesiastical laws eventually found their 
way into the laws of secular society. And 
so, even while proclaiming the separa 
tion of church and state in America, we 
accepted into our own legislative doc 
trine many of the same statutes covering 
private sexual behavior that were 
then, a part of English common 
even though they were clearly no more 
than a reinforcement of church dogma 
by the state, 


medic 


CRIME WITHOUT COITUS 


The taboos—both social and legal— 
surrounding nonprocreative sex are still 
extreme in modern American socicty, 


but the activity is, nevertheless, quite 
common. Although masturbation 
thought to cause all manner of mental, 
al and phy lls in our grand- 
parents’ day, almost all males (over 90 
percent) and a majority of females (over 
60 percent) admit to having some mas- 
turbatory experience; and precoital pet- 
ting commonly includes some mutual 
masturbation, especially among males 
id females of higher education. 

Mouth-genital activity (fellatio and 
nilingus) is also a common part of 


c 
the heterosexual foreplay to coitus, and 


sometimes serves as a substitute for sex: 
ual intercourse, especially among unmar. 
ried, upper-educated adolescents and 
dults, with whom the taboos surround. 
ing premarital intercourse seem most 
successful, Dr. Alfred Kinsey states, in 
xual Behavior in the Human Male: 
Touth-genital contacts of some sort, 
with the subject as either the active or 
passive member in the relationship, 
Occur at some tim 


thei 
pproximately 18 percent of all Ame 
can men have premarital, h 
oral-genital relations of 
ture (cunnilingus, performed by the 
male upon the female) and 38 percent 
have “pa oral-genital relation 
ior to marriage (fellatio, performed by 

upon the male); approx| 


the female 
mately 15 percent of all U.S. women 


have some mouth-genital experience, ci 
ther 


active” or "passive," prior to mar- 
nd between 10 and 50 percent of 
and wives engage in such 


activity. 


the statistics on anal intercourse derived 
from his studies, and so specific figures 
on this behavior do not appear in either 
Sexual Behavior of the Human Male or 
Female, Dr. Paul Gebhard, who succeed 
ed Dr. Kinsey as director of the Institute 
for Sex Research on the latter's death, 
indicates that this form of noncoital sex 
is far more common than was previously 
assumed, and eventually involves be- 
tween 10 and 90 percent of the total 
population. 


CRIMES WITH MAN AND BEAST 


Homosexuality is considered a perver- 
sion by most of contemporary American 
society and the recognized homosexual— 
especially the male—is often subjected to 
considerable abuse. It may come as a sur- 
prise to many, therefore, to learn that a 
relatively high percentage of all men 
and women have had some homosexual 


of sexual behavior that most malcs and 
can, under certain circum- 
stances, be erotically attracted to mem- 
bers of the same sex. Whenever either 
men or women are placed in a situation 


in which their contacts are largely limit- 
ed to their own sex for any appreciable 


length of time—as in prison, boarding 
school or certain assignments in the 
armed services—there is a marked in- 


crease in homosexual activity. 

While only a small percentage is ex- 
clusively homosexual for a lifetime (4 
percent of all U.S. males), Kinscy's re- 
searchers found that a minimum of 37 
percent of the male population has some 
overt homosexual experience to the 
point of orgasm after puberty and prior 
to the age of 45; and 20 percent of the 
total female population has engaged in 
some homosexual activity prior to that 
age. 

Sexual contacts between humans and 
other forms of an life are even more 
taboo in our society than homosexual 
activity and, until recently, this was as- 
sumed to be a relatively rare form of 
sexual release for man; bu sey 
found that in rural areas, where a vari- 
ety of animals was readily available, an 
mal contacts were quite common in the 
early sexual experimentation of young 
males. Kinsey states, "Something between 
40 and 50 percent of all farm boys 
have some sort of nal coi 
with or without orgasm, in their preado- 
lescent, adolescent, and/or later histo- 
ries." While only 8 percent of the total 
male population has postadolescent ex- 
perience with animals resulting in or- 
gasm, the lowness of this figure would 
appear to reflect lack of opportunity 
more than anything else, since approx 
mately 17 percent of the males from r 
ral and farm communities have such 
contacts, and in some Western parts of 
the United States, the incidence rises to 
as high as 65 percent. 


CRIMES ABOMINABLE & DETESTABLE 


All of the aforementioned nonpro- 
creative sexual behavior h: been 
lumped together by our 
into omnibus statutes agair 
In the literal sense, sodomy is 
course involving two malcs—the word 
is derived from the Biblical story of 
Sodom, which the Lord destroyed with 
fire and brimstone, because He wa 


practice there—but its me; 
sometimes extended to include sexual 


ning is now 


acts with animals (bestiality), as wall. 

It is difficult to arrive at any adequate 
legal definition, however, for the sodomy 
statutes of the U.S. encompass, without 
distinction, almost every imaginable 
form of noncoital sex—homosexual and 
, marital and nonm: 
ng fellatio, cunnilingus, pederas- 
ty, buggery, bestiality and, in two states 
nd Wyoming) even mutual 
masturbation 

Although the common law of England 
—from which most American law is de- 
rived—considered sodomy as either the 
act of pederasty or bestiality performed 


by or upon a man, a majority of our 
states’ statutes have given it a far broad- 
er application—covering oral as well as 
anal intercourse, and prohibiting such 
activity not only between members of 
the same sex, but also between members 
of the opposite sex. Including husband 
and wife. 

Minnesota's statute reads, im part: 
‘Any person who shall carnally know any 
mal, bird, man or woman, by anus or 
mouth, or voluntarily submits to such 
knowledge . . . is guilty of sodomy . . - 

Iowa goes further with: “Whosoever 
shall have carnal copulation in any open- 
ing of the body [emphasis ours] except 
sexual parts with another human being, 
or shall have carnal copulation with 
a beast shall be deemed guilty of 
sodomy . . ." 

And Arizona goes further still: “Any 
person who shall willfully commit any 
lewd or lascivious act upon or with the 
body of [or] any part or member there- 
of, of any male or female person with 


or s 
desires of either person in any unnatural 
manner shall be guilty of a felony . . ." 

The Indiana law reads: Whoever 
commits the abominable and detestable 
crime against nature with mankind or 
beast; or whoever entices, allures, insti- 
gates or aids any person under the age of 
twenty-one (21) years to commit mastur- 
bation or selí-pollution shall be deemed 
guilty of sodomy . . ." 

Forty-nine of the fifty states have sod- 
omy statutes; they are among the most 
irrationally conceived and emotionally 
written of any to be found in contempo- 
rary jurisprudence. The phrase "abomi- 
nable and detestable crime against 
nature” appears with great frequency in 
these laws and often serves as an alter- 
nate name, and sometimes as the only 
for the offense. 

Rhode Island actually lists its statute 
under that title; the entire Rhode Island 
law reads as follows: *11-I0-1. Abomina- 
ble and detestable crime against nature, 
—Every person who shall be convicted of 


the abominable and detestable crime 
against nature, 
with any beast, 


exceeding twenty (20) years nor less than 
seven (7) years." In Utah, Arizona and 
Nevada, the offense is referred to as the 
“infamous crime against nature.” 
These phrases further substantiate the 
religious superstition from which such 
laws were derived. The very concept of a 
“crime against nature” is religious: it is 


another way of describing what is con- 
sidered to be, within a particu reli- 
gious framework, an act that goes 


against the will of God. 

Without any evaluation of the moral 
issues involved, it must be pointed out 
that the modern social scientist, armed 
with the insights of psychiatry and evi- 
dence of the actual incidence of non- 


coital sexual activity in human and 
infrahuman species, recognizes that such 
behavior cannot be considered abnormal, 
r “unnatural,” in any scientific sense. 

But these laws evolved from Puritan 
antisexualism, not scientific insight. And 
the subject has traditionally been consid 
ered so distasteful by those who have 
dealt with it, on both the legislative and 
judicial levels, that the statutes and their 
court application form a record of injus 
tice that is far more “abominable and 
detestable” than the personal behavior 
they are supposed to suppress. 


CRIMES NOT FIT TO BE NAMED 


The noted 18th Century jurist Sir 
William Blackstone, author of the f. 
mous Commentaries, which are still fun- 
damental in any study of English or 
U.S. Jaw, reflected his own Puritan envi 
ronment and the irrational emotional- 
ism long associated with the subject. 
when he wrote: “I will not act so dis- 
agreeable a part, to my readers as well as 
myself, as to dwell any longer upon a 
subject, the very mention of which is a 
disgrace to human nature. It will be 
more eligible to imitate in this respect 
the delicacy of our English law, which 
treats it, in its very indictments, as a 
crime not fit to be named x 

The “delicacy” to which Blackstone 
refers is quite without precedent in Eng- 
lish and U.S. law. It means precisely 
what it implies—that these acts have 
been deemed so improper, are viewed 
with such loathing and disgust, tha 
considered unnecessary to describe them 
in any detail in cither the statutes or the 
actual court indictments. The defend- 
ants in such cases are traditionally c» 
pected to prove themselves innocent of a 
charge, the particulars of which are u 
specified, because they are “not fit to be 
named." 

Former Judge Morris Ploscowe of the 
New York Magistrates’ Court, now Ad- 
junct Associate Professor of Law at New 
York University, states in his book, 
Sex and the Law: “Ever since Lord 
Coke's time, the attitude of judges 
has been that sodomy is ‘a detestable 
and abomi among Christians 
not to be named." The result of this au 
tude is a sharp departure from the usual 
rules of criminal pleading. It is one of 
the basic canor al procedure 
that a defendant is entitled to know the 
articulars of the crime charged against 
him, so that he can adequately prepare 
his defense. If the indictment not 
sufficiently specific, the defendant has a 
right to demand a bill of ticulars. 
But when a man is charged with sodomy 
or a crime against nature, an indictment 
the language of the statute is enough. 
Tt is enough that the indictment alleges 
that at a particular time and place the 
defendant committed a ‘crime against 
ature’ with a specific person. The de- 
fendant need not be informed of the 


73 


PLAYBOY 


75 


particular sexual perversion which is 
charged against him. As the Court put it. 
in the case of Honselman vs. People: 
“Tt was never the practice to describe 
the particular manner or the details of 
the commission of the crime, but the 
offense was treated in the indictment as 
the abominable crime not fit to be 
named among Christians. The existence 
of such an offense is a disgrace to human 
nature. The legislature has nor seen fit 
to define it further than by the general 
term, and the records of the courts need 
not be defiled with the details of 
different acts which may go to constitute 
it. A statement of the offense in the 
guage of the statute is all that is 
required. 


PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE CRIME 


Because U.S. sodomy statutes are so 
inclusive in their suppression of non- 
coital sex, the penalties prescribed are 
identical for the partners in a homosexu- 
al liaison, the farm boy who gets too 
friendly with his pet heifer, or the hus- 
band and wife whose marital intima 
include something more than simple sex- 
ual intercourse. All are equally guilty 
under the law. 

And consistent with the Church's his- 
torically harsh view of sex for pleasure 
rather than reproduction (the fire and 
brimstone that Cod used on the Sodom- 
ites in the Old Testament was but a 
forctaste of the centuries of carnage the 
religious offered in pious sacrifice to anti- 
sex), the secular statutes against noncoi- 
tal sex are especially severe. The English 
common law punishment for sodomy 
was death; the penalties that still exist 
here in the United States are, in some 
instances, exceeded only by those for 
murder, kidnaping and rape. 

In 34 states and the District of Colum- 
bia, the maximum sentence specified for 
any act that may be considered a "crime 
against nature" is imprisonment for 
from 10 to 20 years. In Connecticut, the 
maximum possible sentence is 30 years: 
North Carolina, the minimum sen- 
tence is 5 years, the maximum is 60; 


Arizona, Idaho, Montana and Tennessee 
num sentences of 


utes also have min 
5 years; and in Rhode Island, the mi 
mum is 7. In Wyoming and Indiana, 
where sodomy includes inducing or aid- 
ny person under the age of 21 to 
masturbate, the maximum sentences pre- 
scribed are 10 and 14 years, respectively. 
In Georgia, a first conviction calls for 
imprisonment at hard labor for from 1 
to 10 years; a second conviction increases 
the sentence to from 10 to 30. In Cali- 
fornia, Idaho, Missouri, Montana and 
South Carolina, the maximum possible 
penalty is left to the discretion of the 
courts; in Nevada, the law specifies i 
prisonment for life. 
The combined effect of these premari- 
tal, extramarital and assorted. noncoital 
sex statutes is LO turn us into a nation of 


lawbreakers. The private sex behavior 
prohibited by these laws is, all public 
pronouncements to the contrary, prac- 
ticed by a majority of our adult popu 
tion. It has been estimated that if all of 
the sex statutes of the United States 
were strictly and successfully enforced, 
over 85 percent of our adult population 
would be put into prison. 


UNENFORCED AND UNENFORCEABLE 


"rhe majority of our sex laws are not 
efficiently or effectively enforced, of 
course, but this only adds another di- 
mension to the problem, Ploscowe states, 
“Nowhere are the disparities between 
law in action and law on the books so 
great as in the control of sex crime." 
Kinsey comments, “The current sex 
laws are unenforced and are unenforce- 
able because they are too completely out 
of accord with the realities of human be- 
havior, and because they attempt too 
much in the way of social control. Such 
a high proportion of the females and 


males population is involved in 
sexual activities which are prohibited by 
the law of most of the states of the 


Union, that it is inconceivable that the 
present laws could be administered in 
any fashion that even remotely ap- 
proached systematic and complete en- 
forcement. The consequently capricious 
enforcement which these laws now re 
ceive offers an opportunity for malad- 
ministration, for police and political 
graft, and for blackmail which is regular- 
ly imposed both by underworld groups 
and by the police themselves.” 

The very existence of laws such as 
these is an invitation to malfeasance and 
malicious mischief; while the random 
nd often irrational enforcement of the 
tutes causes incalculable havoc, hurt 
making a mockery of the 
majesty of law—applying ju 
unjust, inhumane, capricious and cruel 
manner. 


PROSECUTION OF NONMARITAL SEX 

There are only two leg 
ble sexual outlets for the unm: 
members of society: nocturnal emissions 
and solitary masturbation. Our Anglo- 
American legal codes restrict the sexual 
activity of those unwed by characterizing 
all nonmarital coitus as fornication, 
adultery, lewd cohabitation, seduction, 
rape, statutory rape, prostitution, asso- 
ciating with a prostitute, incest, delin- 
quency, contributing to delinquency, 
disorderly conduct, public indecency, or 
ult and battery 
fenses, with assorted pe 
1 of these statutes are designed 
to deal with special circumstances asso- 
ted with the sexual act—the use of 
force or coercion, the involvement of a 
minor, the payment of money for coitus, 
or intercourse between close kin. There 
is justification for some of these laws, 
though not necessarily for the form that 


ties prescribed. 


they sometimes take, or the manner in 
which they are sometimes administered. 
We will discuss these variations in sex 
legislation a little later. 

"Those laws which cover uncomplic: 
nonmarital coitus are only occasionally 
enforced: Although proof of adultery is 
grounds for divorce in every state, for 
example, and several thou 
are granted for adultery a 
same evidence is rarely used for subse 
quent criminal prosecution; though it 
obviously could be, in any of the 45 
states in which adultery is a crime. 

A small number of unfortunate men 
and women do continue to get them- 
selves arrested, convicted, fined and/or 
imprisoned, on charges of fornication 
and adultery cach year, however. In 
most states these laws are what Ploscowe 
calls “dead letters.” The annual crime 
reports for jority of U. 
arcly include amy reference to the ap- 
prehension and prosecution of adults for 
simple illicit intercourse; but a select mi- 
nority of our municipalities continue to 
g a random few for their bedroom be- 
havior. The numbers recorded are conse- 
quently slight, obviously representing 
the minutest imaginable percentage of 
like behavior occurring in each of these 
jurisdictions; but slight is hardly the 
word to describe the hurt done to the 
luckless citizens that these numbers 
represent. 

"The perusal of a half-dozen recent re- 
ports, from as many cities, reveals that 
Philadelphia, "City of Brotherly Love," 
can also become something of a Big 
Brother, à la Orwell ing on 
love of a more illicit sort that might oth- 
erwise remain hidden in the shadows: 
There, among the figures for murder, 
aggravated assault, burglary, armed rob 
bery and rape, are three arrests for crim- 
inal adultery. The Boston report for 
the same year is better: 2 males and 17 
females arrested and committed to the 
city prison for adultery: 10 cases of for- 
nication dealt with in a similar m 
ner. The municipal records of 1960 for 
timore include 9 cases of adultery 
(both dismissed); for Dallas, 10 cases of 
adultery: for Seattle, 81 cases of adultery 
nd fornication. 

The citizens that these statistics repre- 
sent were liable for punishments ranging 
from a $10 fine (the penalty for adultery 
in Maryland) to a $500 fine or three 
years in prison (the penalty for adultery 

Massachusetts). 

In New York during the same period 
(the city’s fiscal year of July 1959 
through June 1960), approximately 1700 
ivorces were granted for adultery (the 
only ground for divorce in New York 
State): but an analysis of the Annual Re- 
port of the Police Department for those 
twelve months fails to reveal a single ar- 
rest for the crime, which is punishable 
with a fine of up to $250 or six months 

(continued on page 161) 


College juniors from widely separated areas 
ago last s] g to take a campus-eye 
look at upcoming Paris belt designs. The con- 
ference called to coordinate belt styling 
with young men's fashion trends emerging in COLLEGE ADVISORY BOARD 
this "year of the young man." In spite of minor 
regional differences, campus opinion agreed on Previews Paris Belts for the "Year of the Young Man" 
ssentials. Rev r two-for- 
one value, were unanimously voted in. Dark 
hues were favored with wheat jc: to mark a 
distinct waistline. Above all, the solid mascu- 
line look in buckles won universal approval. 
board opinions are reflected in wide 
is belts, now available in col- 
lege shops and department stores. 


For free GUIDE TO CAMPUS WEAR write 
College Advisory Service, Paris Belts, 1143 W. 


Congress Parkway, Chicago, Illinois 60607. 


PANEL MEMBERS BUCKLE DOWN TO BUSINESS 
— John Gueldner, U, of California at Berkeley is 
belt-shackled by fellow panelists (clockwise) John 
Moseley, U. of Texas; Rush Haines, Princeton; 
Albert Sneed, U. of North Carolina; David Sutton, 
Northwestern; Steven Sturm, U. of Missouri. 


Meeting at Pick-Congress Hotel, Chicago, college panelists traded views with Paris designers. 


PRIDE-MARK 
BELTS BY PARIS 


NEW PARIS 114" BELTS FOR FALL REFLECT CAMPUS OPINION: A—Club stripe, new roller buckle, $3.50. B—Burlap overlay on oiled leather, 
$4.00. C— Saddle-stitched imported English saddle leather, new roller buckle, $3.50. D— Reversible, in black oiled leather and harness brown, $4.0. 75 


PLAYBOY 


“Us Tareyton smokers would rather fight than switch!" 


Join the Unswitchables. Get the|charcoal filter|with the taste worth fighting for! 


fem 


| 
Theres a difference you can see in the filter. f í - d 
Look. Tareyton has a white cuter filter, and | | 


an inner filter of Activated Charcoal . . . fine | | 
granules of Activated Charcoal in pure cellulose. | | | T'urey, ton El 
a 5i 
It makes a difference you can taste in the smoke. $: 
The Activated Charcoal filter works with E i 
the white filter to actually improve the flavor of Éi 
IER fine tobaccos . . . and deliver a more 4 


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Roe À PRA s 


umm. HENRY MILLER 


a candid conversation with the venerable maverick of american letters 


Novelist Bernard Wolfe, who conduct- 
ed this exclusive interview for PLAYBOY, 
has been a close friend, colleague, 
drinking companion and brother icon- 
oclast of this month’s interviewee for al- 
most 25 years. Fellow literary lights in 
New York during the Forties, they 
are now neighbors in the fashionable 
suburbs of West Los Angeles— 
beside the pool and in the rustic 
room of Miller's roomy split-level home, 
the following conversation was recorded. 
A long-time PLAYBOY contributor, the 
49 year-old Wolfe debuts herein, with 
hard-hitting authority and familiar ex 
pertise, as a wiAYBOY interviewer. Of 
his subject he writes: 

“When the first copies of the first Par- 
is edition of ‘Tropic of Cancer’ reached 
our shores in 1934, appetizingly camou- 
flaged in the dust jackets of Escofier and 
Byillat-Savarin cookbooks, mine 
among the damp hands that reached for 
them. It was our good luck that the des- 
ultory hawkshaws of U.S. Customs never 
stopped to wonder at th 
graduate passion for l'haute cuisine; for 


were 


surge of under 


more ihan a few of us cut our literary 
eyeteeth on that contraband book. To us 
it was, as ils author fistily proclaimed, 
a badly needed ‘gob of spit in the face of 
Art, as well as an incendiary demonstra- 
tion of the napalm still latent in the 
English language. 

We campus malcontents worked up a 
lively image of the berserker who con- 
cocted that papey-backed bombshell 
and the equally explosive volumes that 
followed. Such a prancing bull of the 
prose pampas had to be out-dimenstonal 
in every aspect: a brawler in rude denim 
jeans, defiant locks snapping im the 
Seine breezes; a debaucher on the grand 
scale who consumed Gargantuan daily 
rations of wine, women and songs; an 
expatriate Johnny Appleseed standing, 
at a conservative estimate, 12 feet tall. 
We knew a giant when we read one; the 


deeper underground a book was driven, 
the taller grew its author. 

cars passed. World War H drove 
the wild man out of Europe, and when 
he showed up one day on the streets of 
New York, where had 


some of us 


settled with our typewriters and our 
distempers, we gaped. The Rimbaud of 
Myrile Avenue, the Villon of the Hth 
Ward, was nowhere near as big or as 
loud or as rambunctious as we'd imag- 
ined him. He was slight and bone-thin. 
His voice was soft, mellifluous. The gray 
hair that fringed his bold bald pate was 
neatly creu-cut. His jowls were as clean- 
shaven as his nails were clean and mani- 
cured. He wore impeccably tailored 
Bond Street tweeds and a natty plaid 
ulster. He was kind, courteous, consid- 
erate, mild, modest, gentle, and all but 
old-worldly in his gallant manners with 
the womenfolk—the very antithesis of 
the capering, carousing cutup called 
Henry Miller in the books of Henry 
Miller. The rapacious desperado of 
‘Cancer’ had turned out to be every- 
body's Dutch uncle... 

"But with something added—some- 
thing not exactly avuncular, some 
special clear unblinking light in the de- 
ceptively mild blue eyes half draped by 
slanty mandarin lids, some special husky 
vibrant sound in the misleadingly gentle 
voice that has never deviated from the 


“One fear I have about myself is that I 
may lose control one day and do some- 
thing unthinkable. But we're all incipient 
criminals. Most of us simply lack the 
courage (o act out our criminal urges.” 


“Obscenity has its natural place in liter- 
ature, as it does in life, and it will never 
be obliterated. I feel T have restored 
sex lo its rightful role, rescued the life 
force from literary oblivion.” 


“For 72 years Pue been waiting to see 
some breakdown of the barriers, a shat- 
tering of the wretched molds in which 
we're fixed. We have the dynamite, but 
we don't set it off. I get sick of waiting.” 


7 


PLAYBOY 


78 


flat Brooklyn tones of his birth. You 
couldn't pin a name on this laxed elec- 
tricity in him, but you knew when it was 
turned on. You would stand with the 
unstagy man at a Third Avenue bar, 
talking casy about nothing in particular. 
The barflies would stop mumbling into 
their boilermakers and perk their ears to 
Henry's homey sound, They would raise 
their eyes from the sawdust to study his 
good-neighborly, ostensibly bland face. 
They would gather up their beers and 
drift toward the source of that ingratiat- 
ing sound and stand in a circle around 
that good-guy face, asking mutely for 
omething—benediction, warming, the 
gift of such energy as tightens no mus- 
cles, a shot of some unnamable balm. It 
was impossible to carry on a conversa- 
tion with Henry in a public place. Too 
many winos made their mothlike way 
into the glow that emanated from any 
bar stool he graced. 

“Henry went West. He holed up for a 
time in the Santa Monica hills. Later he 
settled in his aerie on the highest rise of 
the Big Sur mountains in northern Cali- 
fornia, to stay put for 20 years. Now best- 
sellingly U. S-published, duly stamped 
with the Supreme Court seal of approv- 
al, and socially acceptable among all 
but ladies’ auxiliary literary tea societies, 
he's back in the Los Angeles arca, living 
in Pacific Palisades to be near his two 
teenage children by his third wife. Our 
paths cross often, and I am forever 
amazed at how little he's changed. At 72 
he's still lean as an ax handle, with eye 
undimmed and Brooklyn drawl intact. 
About the only sign of wear in him is 
that his appetite for walking is some- 
what diminished by a thinning of the 
cartilage in the socket of his left hip, a 
memento of all the decades exuberantly 
spent on foot, But if he doesn't walk up 
and down the Cathay he makes of 
Pacific Palisades quite as much as he 
once walked the Cathay he made of Par- 
is, he certainly rides—on his English rac- 
ing bike, dressed, of course, in faultlessly 
tailored Ivy League corduroys. The as- 
tonishing low-keyed grace is still there, 
and the unproving, unpushing energy. 
And the disciples—barflies and children, 
aesthetes and novice writers—still flock to 
that benevolent voice and benign face, 
begging for the grace without a name. 


PLAYBOY: One critic has descr 
work as “toilet-wall scribbling. 
set the record stra 
or have you ever bec 
scribbler? 

MILLER: No, never. But 
me of a story about the French pissoi 
which might apply to me. A university 
professor was just coming out of the pis- 
soir while another professor was enter- 
ing. As they passed each other, the one 


a toiletwall 


that reminds 


snickered. "So you're one of those who 
writes on toilet 
the departi 

recting grammal 
PLAYBOY: Your books have been widely 
branded—and. banned—as pornograph 
What's your reaction to the charge: 
miter; Well, I can be said to have 
ak 
as a pornographer. There's a 
nce between obscenity and 
phy. Pornography is a titillat- 
£ and the other is cleansing; it 
gives you a rss. It’s not done just 
to tickle your nerve ends—though | 
would add parenthetically u I don't 
go along with those judicious minded 
critics and intellectuals who try to pre 
tend that when you write erotically, with 
obscene language and all that, the read- 
er should be impeccably immune, never 
e a lustful thought. Why the hell 
shouldn't a reader have lustful thoughts? 
They're as legitimate as any other kind. 
I might also add that n I 


written obscene things, but I don't th 
of myself 
i fer 


bi 


We're not at all interested in 
your sexual writing; it's your philosophy 
we find stimulatii 
PLAYBOY: Still, as r as stimulation is 
concerned, wouldn't you say that most 


readers prefer your erotica to your 
philosophy? 
MILLER: Perhaps so, but the import 


of my work lies in my vision of life 
of the world, not in the free use of 
four-letter words. These banned books 
of mine fit in with the tradition of liter- 
ature widely known and accepted in 
Europe for the last thousand years. Un- 
fortunately, for the last three hundred 
years, Enplish-linguage literature has 
been castrated, stifled; its pallid, lacking 
integration and totality. Preceding this 
period, sex communication never had 
contained this shocking quality. There 
was a freedom of expression. There was 
no emphasis put upon sex. It fitted in 
urally because it was and is a 
life. But the Anglo-Saxon people, 
ast three centuries, have been terribly 
deprived—starved, literally speaking, for 
the natural and normal expression of sex 
which can counteract unnatural feelings 
of guilt. So now they leap on the sens: 
tional, and because they have found 
me this missing clement, they overem 
phasize it. 
PLAYBOY: Hasn't it been said that you 
are the one who overemphasizes it? 
MILER: It might just as well be said 
that I overemphasize the subject of the 
freedom of the individual. 1 feel I have 
simply restored sex to its rightful place 
literature, rescued the basic life factor 
from literary oblivion, as it were. Ob- 
scenity, like sex, has its natural, rightful 
place in literature as it does in life, and 
it will never be obliterated, no matter 


sed to smother it. Let 
n incident that may 
tion of my point of view. 
My little son and I were walking in one 
of the great forests of northern Califor- 
nia. All alone, not a sound, not a person 
around for miles. Suddenly he started 
looking frantically about, holding him- 
self, you know. “What's wrong?" I asked. 
him. "I have to go to the bathroom," he 
said. “Well, vou can't" 1 replied. 
"There's no bathroom here. Do you 
mean you have to take a leak? Come on, 
do it right here near this big tree, Come 
on, Tl show you. You can't ‘go to the 
bathroom’ on And so there we 
stood, fi 2 the beautiful 
forest, pissing oi So you see, in 
life as in writing, I use common words 
to express myself because it is the only 
way for me. I haven't considered, chosen 
or selected. One might just as well ask 
why I've written the way I have about 
people, countries, strects, religion, 
so on. I haven't singled out sex 
special treatment, but I've given 
full ueatment. I had been writing 
fifteen years and getting nowhere. Evi 
thing | had written was derivativ 
fluenced by other. Then 
decided to please myself. It was a great 
gamble, but finally I cut the umbilical 
cord, and in severing it I became an 
entity. T became myself, vou sec? When 
they speak of tradition in the literary 
world, they are speaking of men who 
individualists, who are entities, 
who, in becoming themselves, become 
part of tradition. As for being obsessed 
with sex, they are the ones who are ob- 
sessed: they who make so much over the 
al content of what I have written. 
When people have been deprived, they 
make up for lost ground the moment the 
barriers are down. This is what is hap- 
pening with the banned books. Other 
countries accepted them as a basic part 
of life. All over the world they think of 
us Americans as a people obsessed with 
the idea of sex but 
natural experience of sex. The English- 
speaking peoples are precisely the ones 
who understand the least what I've writ- 
ten and why. 

PLAYBOY: Would you care to enlighten 
them now? 

MILIER: I can try. I was sick to death 
of the lack of substance in English liter 
ture, with its portrayal of a truncated, 
ial man. 1 wanted a more substantial 
dict, the whole being, the round view 
you get in the paintings of Picasso, the 
works of Montaigne and Rabelais and 
others. So I rebelled, and perhaps over- 
generously made up for this lack and 
weakness in the literature of my time. 
PLAYBOY: One critic has alleged that 
your "overgenerous" depiction of sex— 
far from fascinating readers—has actual- 
ly rendered the subject uninteresting as 
a literary topic. Do you think he may 
have a point? 


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MILER: Naturally, anything done to 
cess becomes uninteresting. But I don’t 
think we need worry about making sex 
uninteresting. All that was taken care 
of by the Creator when He created 
male and female. What is important is 
whether we have a healthy or a sick at 
tude toward sex or anything else. 
PLAYBOY: Though willing to concede 
that you personally may not be obsessed. 
with sex, another detractor has accused 
you of “using freedom of expression as 
the high-sounding cover-up for a cynical- 
ly commercial effort to cash in on the 
sure-fire sales appeal of sex." Have you? 
MILER: D have never knowingly been 
cynical or insincere. And as for the com- 
mercial aspect, that was farthest from my 
mind. I was merely determined to write 
as I pleased, as I viewed life, do or die, 
without thought for the consequences. 
PLAYBOY: Did you anticipate the world- 
wide storm of public protest, censorship 
and suppression that followed the pub- 
lication of Tropic of Cancer? 

‘MILLER: I was not concerned with this. 
problem. I had had fifteen years of pun- 
ishment and rejection before Cancer was 
published. It was something I had to do, 
and that was all there to it. 
PLAYBOY: What was the initial 
tion of European critics to the Tropics? 
MILLER: A very broad question. Shall 
I say "varied"? Critics are the same all 
over the world. They judge by what they 
are—which we won't go into. On the 
whole, however, I must say that whether 
for or against, their approach to my 
work was on a higher level than that of 
the Anglo-Saxon critics, who, now th 
these books are being published here, 
are saying, after condemning them—and 
reading them under the counter—for 
rly thirty years, "It's about time" or 
So America is really growing up at 
last." 

PLAYBOY. Do you agree with them, at 
least, that popular acceptance of the 
Tropics in the U.S. means that “Ameri- 
ca is really growing up at last? 
MUER: Times fave — changed—but 
whether in the direction of more frec- 
dom or less is difficult to say. There is 
still a great gap between the accepted 
behavior of individuals, as regards sex, 
id the- freedom to express this in 
words. I don't delude myself that the 
world suddenly sees eye to eye with me 
on the subject of sex—or any other sub- 
ject, for that matter. Only the Scand 
navian countries, Sweden and Denmark, 


reac- 


seem to me to be truly liberated in this 
sense. 
PLAYBOY: Still, don't you view the 


American publication of the Tropics, 
nd the Supreme Court decision uphold- 
ing it, as a kind of personal vindication? 
MILLER: I had my victory, if you wish 
to call it that, long before this American 
success, if you wish to call i that. In the 


countries where my books circulated 
freely, 1 was, if not a popular writer, 
certainly an accepted writer. I had my 
reward in being accepted and acknow! 
edged by many of the foremost writers 
and thinkers in Europe. One is truly ac- 
cepted or understood only by one’s peer 
PLAYBOY: In addition to literary 
mirers, you've acquired, along with 
controversial reputation, a coterie of dis- 
ciples so worshipful that it has been 
called a cult. Are you flattered by this 
sort of idolatry? 
MUER: Ol course not! The most dev- 
astating thing about achieving any suc- 
cess as a writer is to meet the people 
who rave about your work. Jt makes you 
wonder about yourself. 
Though many critics share 
the admiration of your fans for the vital- 
ity of your work, others have used the 
following adjectives to describe you as a 
i “undisciplined,” “chaotic,” "con- 
'self-contradictory” and "over- 
Whats your reply? 
MILLER: Isn't it enough to write books 
without being obliged to answer for 
them? Irs the function of the critic to 
criticize. He's like the fifth wheel on a 
wagon. Oh, well—by conventional stand- 
rds, 1 suppose I am an undisciplined, 
chaotic, disorganized writer. But some of. 
us, fortunately, pay no heed to stand- 
ards. Undoubtedly Im as muddled as 
the next man. But look at the great phi 
losophers—are they so clean and clear? 
Kant—my God, what murky, cloudy 
King that is! Or take Aristotle—I 
it’s a jungle of non- 
sense to me. l like Plato much better. 
get lost with Plato, too. I'll tell 
you, it may be because of my eclecticism 
that I'm misunderstood. One time I'm. 
g this way, another time that wa 
lly, I contradict myself. now and. 
then. Who doesn’t? One would have to 
be stagnant not to do so. But 1 contend 
that I'm always driving at truth. One has 
to approach reality from all directions 
there's no one way to go at it. The more 


avenues you open up, the clcarer the ul- 
timate thing should be. I'm antisystem 
and antistructure, yes. But that’s hardly 


confusion. 
PLAYBOY: It's also been said that you 
sulfer from "verbal diarrhea,” that your 
“billowing, undisciplined, rough-hewn 
prose urgently requires the attention of 
a sharp blue pencil.” What do you have 
to say about this? 

MILER: I've never pretended to be a 
ful, inch-by-inch writer, like Hem- 
ngway was—but neither am I one of 
those careless, sprawling writers who feel 
that the slag belongs with the ore, that 
ill one, part and parcel of the same 
thing. 1 must confess there's a great joy, 
for me, in cutting a thing down, in tak- 
ing the ax to my words and destroying 
what I thought was so wonderful in the 
heat of the first writing. You think when 


you spew the words out that they're im- 
perishable, and a year later they seem 
trivial or. The Welding is as 
much a part of the creative process as 
the first volcanic gush. But this e 
at least for me, is not aimed at achiev 
flawlessness. I believe that defects in a 
writer's work, as in a person's character, 
no less important than his virtues. 
You need flaws; that's what I’m trying to 
say. Otherwise you're a nonentity. 
PLAYBOY: Nevertheless, in recent criti 
cism of your work, novelist Lawrence 
Durrell, a long-time friend of yours, has 
taken you to task for these very flaws— 
and for excusing them in yourself. Have 
his remarks affected the cordiality of 
your relationship? 

MILER: Not at all—as you'd know if 
you'd read my answer to his criticism of 
my later books. You'd sce that 1 took it 
l| in good part. He could have said 
much worse than he did, and it wouldn 
have altered. my feelings toward him. 
PLAYBOY: Which arc? 

MILLER: As a man, I still like and ad- 
mire him. As a writer, I could make the 
same ci sm of him that's made of me: 
that the big passages, the panoramic fres- 
coes, really grip you—his wonderfully 
descriptive purple passages, majestically 
done, marvelously elaborate and intri- 
cate, which exist in and of themsclves— 
whereas the philosophical sections, pre- 
senting his thoughts on art and acsthet- 
ics, seem drab by comparison—at least to 
me. Durrell, you see, is first and foremost 
a poet. He's in love with language itself. 
Some people find him too ornate, but I 
love his excesses—they reveal the artist 
in him. 
PLAYBOY: Which other contemporary 
writers do you regard as artists? 

MILLER: 1 don't think I really keep 
up, but let me think. O'Casey and Beck- 
ett and Jonesco I admire very much. But 
some of our better-known American 
playwrights leave me cold. I don't get 
any kick, any lift out of them. I can't 
read Nabokov. He's not for me; he's too 
literary a man, 100 engrossed in the art 
of writi all that display of virtuosity. 
I do like Kerouac—I think he has a mar- 
velous natural verbal facility, though it 
could stand a bit of disciplining. Such a 
wealth of fecling—and when it comes to 
nature, superb. Burroughs, whom T rec- 
ognize as a man of talent, great talent, 
can turn my stomach. It strikes me, how- 
ever, that he's faithful to the Emersonian 
idea of ography, that hes con- 
cerned with putting down only what he 
has experienced and felt. He's a literary 
man whose style is unliterary. As for 
Saul Bellow, I've read only one of his 
books, Henderson, the Rain King, and I 
must say, I was infatuated with it. I wish 
I could write something in that vein. For 
a while I was interested in Ray Brad. 
bury; he seemed to have opened a new 
vein. But I think he’ is bolt. 
There are sull staring ideas im hi 


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82 


books now and then, wonderful flashes; 
one senses an inventive mind at work. 
But it's all in an area that docsn't excite 
me too much. Science fiction just isn't 
rich. cnough. 

PLAYBOY: As one whose writing is 
strongly sexual in flavor, are you as 
terested in, and influenced by, Freudian 
psychology as some of the writers you've 
mentioned? 

MILLER; When ] first read Freud thir- 
ty or thirty-five years ago, I found him 
extremely stimulating. He influenced ev- 
erybody, myself included. But today, he 
doesn't interest me at all. I think it's fine 
for a writer to roam about wherever he 
hing that's of deep import to 
in artist must certainly nourish him. But 
the whole subject of Freudianism and 
nalysis bores mc almost as much as talk- 
ing to analysts, whom I find deadly dull 
nd single-tracked. 

PLAYBOY: Whats your objection to an- 
alysis itself? 

Milter: Lets put it this way—the 
alyst is sitting there as an intermedi- 
ary, fatherconfessor, protector; he's 
there to awaken his patient and give 
him greater strength to endure whatever 
he has to endure. Well, I say that experi- 
ence itself, whatever it be—brutal, sor- 
rowful or whatever—is the only teacher. 
We don't need priests and we don't need 
alysts; we don't need mental crutches 
of any sort. More tl nything, what I 
criticize is their efforts to restore the mal- 
apted person to a society whose 
of life caused him to be maladapted in 
the first place. They want us to accept 
things as they are. But things as they are 
re wrong. 

AYBOY: But you've often insisted 
that people are really self-determined, 
that it’s really a dodge to blame society 
for our troubles. Isn't that a contradic 
tion of what you've just said? 

MILLER: It seems contradictory, but to 
me it isn't. Look, when you develop the 
proper strength, you can live in any so- 
ciety. You can achieve a certain immuni- 
ty—not a total one, certainly, but 
enough not to become sick, not to be 
alyzed. 1 say if there's strength to be 
gotten, where else would you look for it 
than inside yoursell? Now it may be that 
some of us are doomed, some won't have 
the strength, and will go down—but 
that's an inescapable fact of life. Some 
can rise up 10 meet ad others can 
But to say that we can catch those who 
are sick and sinking, and buoy them up 
through analysis—I don't believe it. 
PLAYBOY: You were quoted recently as 
saying that the American to 
things sexual, particularly in plays, mov- 
es and television, is becoming increas- 


ngly ^ xd this tr 
psychologi 

do you feel it is? 

MILLER: Of course sick—and it 


could be significant. Cuteness h 
part, like anything else, but p 


round with sex on 
the look-but-don't-touch sort of thing, 
could make the American male perpet- 
ually diss; 
Irs another version of this phony mis- 
leading drive of Americans to coat every- 
thing with glamor—creating a glamorous 
world of illusion and then trying to live 
in it. It doesn't work. I think the cute 
x is about on a par with a 
pproach to the atom bomb. But it 
i5 nice for men to be fussed over and tit- 
ed; they need d 
their basic nature, regardless of the fa 
that they may be in love with their own 
wives or girls. Take the gei 
n impor 
American women should be educated in 
school, taught as the Japanese are taught 
how to weat a hu ad or lover. There 
wouldn't be so m: 
In the Western world, a couple gets mar- 
ried in a romantic mood, but then 
there's nothing to show them how to go 
on increasing and nurturing their love. 
Instead of waiting until they tu 
the lights, why not learn how to n 
man happy at the dinner table or just 
sitting about reading? Why don't they 
wear something flimsy, keep acting out 
the loye role as they did in the be; 
ng? It might make the difference. But 
its like churchgoers who run to church 
on Sundays and then forget religion the 
rest of the week. 

PLAYBOY: Who «do you feel is responsi- 
ble for this situation? 

MILER: I blame most of this unhappy 
sexual situation on the men. They don't. 
behave as men, as the boss, the domi 
nant head of the family. They allow the 
women to jockey with them for equality, 
to become their rivals. This docs not 
make for the ideal sexual climate. In Eu- 
rope the man is still the boss. He even 
slaps his woman around a bit, but the 
n this subordinate 


role. 
PLAYBOY: In vie 


of what you indicate 
is their more feminine, less competitive 
role, do you feel that European women 
are more exciting sexually than Ameri 
Can women? 

MILER: Any real Europcan 
or otherwise. is exciting. Frankly, 1 know 
of only one sexual type: Either she has it 
or she doesn't. 

PLAYBOY: Will you describe “it 
MILLER: Everyone of any sensitivity 
knows when he is in the presence of a 
great person or a saint. The same ap- 
plies to a woman with it, She 
She neither shrinks from sex nor juts 
forward unnaturally when the subject 
arises. American women seem to have to 
prove themselves. They wear sex on the 
æ of their beings like a patina. But 
the natural ones feel it, as a part of their 
very being. Sophia Loren is an example. 
She is living it. She is all woman. Most 
of your American sex symbols of the 


woman, 


xudes if. 


cinema, on the other hand, are just 
wearing it. It’s all on the outside. They 
feel nothing, really—so neither do you. 
PLAYBOY: Would you be willing to tell us 
what kind of sexual relationship you've 
found most gratifying—with whatever 
nationality of won 
MILLER: ] prefer to keep that informa- 
tion to myself. It’s nobody's business but 
my own. Even an author has some 
rights! But I will that the atmos 
phere of hazard, peril or danger ol 
ssment is most exciting—the en- 
with someone, even a suanger, 
in an alleyway, a dark hall or doorway, 
maybe even a telephone. booth. 
PLAYBOY: Why? 

MILLER: Well, I suppose it's because it's 
the opposite of our everyday experience. 
The element of surprise is what makes 
it so intriguing—you aren't set, you 
have no stand one way or the other. 
1 must amplify: 1 feel that I'm a man to 
1 seldom delib- 
erately set out to bring things about. 
I'm always sort of open and vulnerable, 
waiting for something to come about— 
which actually permits things to happen 
much more frequently, don't you sce? If 
1 set out to have an experience, a sexual 
or love experience, it would have a total- 
ly different tonality to it, it seems to me 
—probably in a lower key. 

PLAYBOY: You've d that the "hero" 
of Cancer is a man who initiates noth- 
ing. who merely accepts things as they 
come to him. Jsn't that a Buddhist view? 
MILLER: Perhaps. | make no secret of 
the fact that I have been much influ- 
enced by Taoistic writing and Oriental 
philosophy in general. I think we all 
take from others. 1 don't think ihere's 
such a thing as an original artist. We all 
show influences and derivations. We 
can't avoid using or being used. When it 
comes time to express yourself, what you 
put forth should be done unconsciously, 
without thought of influences. But all 
this is in your blood already, in the very 
stream of your being. I've come to be- 
lieve that I'm at my best, ] express 
myself best, when I'm following the 
philosophy of the East, but 1 wouldn't 
propose it as the one way. I think each 
one has to find his own unique route. 
PLAYBOY: Does this imply that you 
incline toward the role of 
rather than protagonist? 


whom things happen 


observer 


n 
nd observ 


r at the same time. 
ays. I mean, 


He's playing a dual role alw 
J don't go through life as a writer who's 
always making notes in a mental diary 
though I am aware of making note of 
things for future use. I can't help it; it's 
my nature, But I don't enter into things 
in a spirit of detached research. When I 
participate, I do so as a human being; 
I'm simply more aware than most men 
of whats actu 
PLAYBOY: You 


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graphically to the role of the “artis 
Yet you've called Tropic of Cancer "a 
gob of spit in the face of Art.” Do you 
THE PLAYBOY SKI SWEATER see any contradiction between this scorn 
for "Art" and your self identification as 
an artist? 
mir: No. I think that only a man 


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edged thing. One has to be an artist in 
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an that one should lop off all that is 
stupid, nonsensical, unimportant—all 
that goes with capital letters when one 
invokes the words “Culture” and “Art.” 
We have an analogy in what happened 
to the philosophy of Zen when it was 
brought from India to China. What did 
inese do? They took Buddhism as 
dus had known it and they 
lopped off ihe superstructure; they 
brought it down to earth and made it 
viable, livable, 1 would say. My purpose, 
when referring to art in this denigrating 
way, is to bring it closer to life. Art has a 
tendency to detach itself from life. One 
s to bring it back again, like a garden- 
er taking care of a plant—cut away the 
overgrowth, give the roots a chance to 
breathe. 
PLAYBOY: Do you feel that you've 
done this in your own writing? 
MILLER: I hope so, in my own small 
way. What I've strived to do is to get 
from the fictive and down to the 
fa 7 A OMPANIONS reality about oneself, embrace every as- 
N PLAYBOY S B R C pect of one's being, look at it all clearly, 
boldly. That's the whole purpose of writ- 
ing, isn't it, to reveal as many sides of 
yoursell as possible? Though I’ve done 
all sorts of shortterm things, books of 
the moment, offshoots without any con- 
sistent note running through them, 
there has also been the long-term job, 
the record I want to make of my life, no 
matter how long it takes or how many 
volumes. That is a planned work: The 
Rosy Crucifixion is the master title. 
Though I haven't thought about it every 
minute, it has always been in the back of 
my head. 
PLAYBOY: When did you decide to write 
i? 
MILLER: I laid it out way back in 1927, 
in about thirty five pages of telegraphic 
notes, and I'm still working from them, 
Irom the very last pages. Sexus and Plex- 
us both came out of these notes, and 
now the conduding volume of Nexus, 
which I've nearly completed. 


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PLAYBOY: Would you read us a sam- 
ple of those notes? 


MILER: Well, if yon insist. Here are 
a couple of pages I used as raw material 
in writing Plexus and Nexus. They be- 
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dling along Broadway outside the bu 
lesque shows and movies. Incident at 
Borough Hall when the guy throws 
money at mc in the gutter. 1 begin to 
paint the walls myself and hang up crazy 
charts. S. arrives and looks on, nodding 
his approval of the disruption. Remi 
niscences of childhood. Relations with L. 
are improving. Sleeping three abed. J. 
now jealous. Working this to death 
More gold digging on a grand scale, only 
now its a burlesque. The two of them 
look like freaks. L. hiring herself out for 
experiments of all kinds. I get the idea 
of selling my blood. Begin visiting the 
hospitals. Must cat better food, drink 
milk, red wine, and so on. The jujitsu 
expert at Huberts Cafeteria bringing the 
rent to us while we are in bed, slipping 
it under the door. The German savant— 
a ticket chopper on the elevated station. 
The two sailors listening in to sce 
from the shed outside of L.’s room and 
freezing to death. Drunks with B., th 
Cherokce Indian, The night of S.'s birth- 
day. We go out to celebrate, I in a torn 
khaki shire. The night club uptown 
Drinking everything in sight. Then the 
lineup and search by thugs. S., in his 
crazy way, calmly palming olf a bad 
check on them for 5125. The scene in 
the vestibule of cloakroom when the c: 
pugilist beats the piss out of the druni 
cn customers. Returning at dawn to find 
L. sleeping in my place. Dragging her 
out of the bed by the scalp. Pecing over 
her on the floor. Then falling asleep in 
the bathtub, nearly drowned. Return to 
Paul & Joe's near 14th Street. Waiting at 
the Bridge Plaza to see if J. is coming 
over the bridge in a taxi. Finding her 
home in bed, paralyzed with drink. Next 
day vomiting begins. Continues for three 
or four days, night and morning. The 
story of rape by jujitsu doctor. J.’s ex- 
planation. Go in search of wrestling doc 
tor, murder in heart, Returning silently 
and listening to their conversation on 
the stairs. Suddenly the explosion in Jer 
sey City and discovery of L. standing on 
stairs, Last confrontation. Dragging her 
along in the snow despite protestations 
and denials. 1 leave for the West . . 
PLAYBOY: You se ve led a rath- 
er violent life in those days 

MILLER: 1 was a pretty turbulent ch 
acter, all right—and not a very agreeable 
one, either. Though I never failed to 
make friends, 1 was always in hot water, 
always arguing and disputing. 1 was an 
obnoxious sort of chap who had to get 
his ideas across, who was forever button- 
holing people and bludgeoning them 
with words. ] made a pest of myself, I 
was an idealist and a rebel—but an un- 
pleasant one. As I've grown older, I've 
become even more rebellious—but also 
more adapted, at least to myself. Maybe 
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anymore. But I'm still entirely capable 
of violence. In fact, one fear I have 
about myself is that I may lose control 
one day and do something unthinkable. 
But of course we're all incipient crimi- 
nals. Most of us simply lack the courage 
to act out our criminal urges. I've been 
to find cape valve 
in writing. I've been able to act out my 
antisocial urges. stir up trouble, deal out 
my shocks and jolts on paper; and 
thanks to the release of all this steam. 
I've slowly become—well, more human, 
let's say 


PLAYBOY: Do you find, with your 
lengthening emotional distance from the 
carly experiences recorded in your notes, 


that it has become easier to write about 
them? 

MILLER: Technically, yes. But with time, 
of course, everything tends to grow 
cold. One has to blow on the embers. It's 
not easy to warm a thing up 
put yourself back in the old positions, at 
the emotional pitches you once attained, 
to recreate the conversations—talk that 
lasted all night, ten hours, full of fight 
and struggle, going the whole gamut 
from personal trivia to literature and 
history and every damn thing, Today 
these things are casier to wri 
yes, but they're almost imposs 
capture in their pristine fire 
stance. You have to fall back on your 
imagination, to rely on your artisuy. 
PLAYBOY: But it's been said that in 
Sexus and Plexus you seem to show total 
recall of both id events. 
MILLER: ] may give llusion, but 
if you could com; y reconstructions 
with tape recordings of the original 
scenes, you'd find a tremendous dispar 
ty. Lately I've been inventing more frec- 
ly than before, but always in conformity 
with the remembered feel of the thing. 1 
never invent in the sense of disgu 
or altering; I always want to recapture, 
but not in the strictly photographic-pho- 
nographic sense. Also, of course, I've left 
a lot out. One can't put every 
even if one lives to be a hundred. 
PLAYBOY: You've been worl 
The Rosy Crucifixion, on and oll, for 
some thirtyseven years now. Why has it 
taken so long? 

MILLER: Well, you sce, the more one 
writes about oneself, the less important 
it all seems. One writes to forget himself, 
or better said, to forget the self. When I 
ted writing, especially the Tropics, I 
thought: No one has suffered as much as 
T. I had to get it out—so many volumes, 
so many millions and millions of words. 
And now that it’s almost finished, I 
don't want to write like that anymore, 
understand? But 1 find that I'm caught 
in my own web. Now that the Tropics 
are socially acceptable, I've suddenly bc-. 
come fashionable, people are 
hounding me from every direction to 
translate these books into plays, films, 


hing in, 


and 


librettos. I can't do this! 1 can’t change 
these books into something else. 1 
thought once I'd finished writing them 
that that was the end. I wanted to forget 
them. But they're coming back to haunt 
me. 

PLAYBOY: Don't you take some comfort 
in the very fact of this social accept- 
ability, however belated, and in the roy- 
alties you've been reaping? 

MILLER: It’s sort of amusi but also 
it's absurd and a bit of a headache. You 
see, in a way its too late. The money 
should have been there the begin- 
ning. Getting it now doesn’t alter my 
life in the least. I continue to live on 
very little for myself. My problem now 
isn't how to get money, but how not to 
get too much ol it. It frightens me. Mil- 
lions, these movie people talk about! 
Can you believe i? Already T've given 
away to my friends and family over half 
of what I've received from Cancer. It's 
just too much. Having too much of any- 
thing worries me—especially money. It 
makes me uncomfortable. But I have to 
think of my children. They have to have 
their schooling and their living. Now 
days, at least, if they want to go some- 
place or do something special they 
dream up, 1 can give them a hundred 
dollars and it means nothing. But do 
you know I'm contributing to three 


ilies? Me and my divorces. 1 think I'll 
have 


n aspirin—maybe three. Would. 
to join 
* No, thanks But tell us: 
With all your extracurricular commit- 
ments, how do you find time for writing? 
MILER: Good question! The phone calls, 
the correspondence to answer, prop- 
ositions to consider, contracts to decide 
on! Do you know it takes me a good 
four hours a day at least? 1 have hardly 
any time left lor writing. I should have a 
secretary. Well, maybe not, because if I 
did, naturally 1 would fall in love with 
her, and then I wouldn't get any writing 
done. You see, 1 couldn't. possibly ve 
an ugly old girl for a secretary, could I? 
She must be beautiful, attractive. And 
there Pd be—again. 1 fall in love so 
easily. 

PLAYBOY: Still? 

MILLER: It seems normal to me to fall 
in love over and over. Is it a sign of 
youth or of wisdom? It seems to me that 
most of us grow old long before our 
time. Being in love is the al condi 
tion of the heart. I'm talking about Jov- 
ing someone else, of course, not yourself. 
But I was talking about work. The de- 
mands are never-ending. The moment 
one starts getting big money, he becomes 


involved with tax problems, lawyers, 
people who want money from you for a 
thousand causes—cspecially themselves. 


You have to suffer because of it. It’s a 
challenge to your normal way of life. 
Time that should be spent working is 


Bet you've seen a better-looking head on a glass of heer. 


That figures. Country Club is not a beer. Not even 
ale. It's just what it says—malt liquor—a masculine 
cousin of the other brews. And a welcome change of 
pace. Its special fermenting agent gives it a lively 
quality that appeals largely to men. So it has lots 
of character. Body, too. But not much head, because 
it's light on carbonation. Which is why itsits so light 


throughout an evening's pleasure. We thought you 
ought to know about the short head, so you won't 
think that the first can you pour is just beer gone 
flat.It sure isn't! You'll get the message beforeyou're 
eventwosips into 

that light-head- Country Club 


ed little rascal MALT LIQUOR 


PEARL BREWING COMPANY, SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS « ST, JOSEPH, MISSOURI 


89 


PLAYBOY 


90 


taken up with all of these unvit 
pleasant things. I [eel sometimes 
may throw in the sponge and quit writ- 
ing entirely. 

PLAYBOY: Are you serious? 

MILLER: Probably not—but if 1 decid- 
ed tomorrow to take up some other pur- 
suit, I'd certainly have no qualms about 
t. Sometimes I think it would be lovely 
to be a gardener or a nurseryman. That 
way nobody would get hurt. cheated, de- 
ceived or disillusioned: authors aren't 
the loveliest people in the world, you 
know. But if 1 don't stop writing, at 
least | want to start having some fun 
with it, I'm tired of doing those long, 
somber, serious things. Why shouldn't I 
have some fun now with writing? 

No reason at all. What sort 
g would you enjoy writing? 
MILLER: It happens that I wrote a play 
a couple of years ago—a satirical farce 
called Just Wild About  Harry—bhe- 
cause for thirty years I'd been wonder- 
ng if I could write in that form. It was 


fun. Now I'm working on another. H I 
do more p 


ys, they'll continue in the 
al and the 
I 


vein of the farcical, the satiri 
burlesque. T would like to write wha 
call pure nonsense. It wouldn't be ur 
telligible, but it wouldn't pretend to 
have any profundity or any relation with 
actuality; 1 wouldn't take up “meaty” 
subjects, social problems and all that. 
It would be a pure exercise of the imag- 
i ad of my skill, whatever that 
n enjoyment of the medi- 
um itself with no ulterior thought wha 
soever—perhaps, finally, with no thought 
at all. I know I've been called a thought 
less writer, and it doesn’t offend me at 
all. Perhaps that's the state in which Fm 
happiest 

PLAYBOY: Will sex be as big a factor in 
your future writings as it has been? 
Mutter: ] doubt it. Not because T 
have lost interest in sex, but because I 
have about come to the end of my auto- 
biographical writing. As I said earlier, it 
seems to me that people have focused 
too strongly on this clement in my work: 
they think it’s—how shall I say i?—the 
dominant note of my writing because it 
has the quality of shock. At least it had 
for the early readers. Especially in Amer- 
ica, many were too taken aback by the 
forthrightness of the Tropics to see in 
them, as I do, a quality of lyricism. 
Though it may sound immodest, Fm 
forever amazed at the singing passages in 
them. They're not always pleasant, of 
course, but even when sordid and ni 
istic, they are nevertheless poetic. Critics 
abroad have always pointed this out. But 
I think there's a range of thought and 
fecling that goes far beyond cither of the 
Tropics in some of my later work—i 
The Books in My Life, for instance, 
such collected works as The Wisdom of 
the Heart and Sunday After the War, in 


which essays are mingled with stories. 
PLAYBOY: Do you consider these your 
finest. works? 

MILLER: No, The Colossus of Maroussi 
is my ow vorite, and I find it’s com- 
ing more and more to be accepted by 
the public. I'd rather be known in the 
future by The Colossus than by any oth- 
er effort. It shows me at my best—a man 
who's enjoying himself and appreciative 
of everything. 

PLAYBOY: Was this change in style and 
attitude from the nihilism of the Tropics 
the result of a change in your life? 
MILER; P would rather think so. One 
ht say it was duc to the feeling of ex 
ultation and exaltation that came over 
reece. I wrote Colossus just after 
ng to the U. S. I wrote it hot, as it 


But then you revered to a 
more pessimistic tone in The Air-Condi- 
tioned Nightmare. a grim chronicle of 


your disenchantment. with America. 
Why? 
MILER: Tt was the disparity between 


the two countries, J set out on a tour of 
America with hopes that 1 might write, 
maybe not an exalted report, but a book 
of appreciation of my country after a 
long absence. But everywhere T wi 
was let down. And I would be ag; 
think, if 1 took another look tod: 
haps even more so. 


PLAYBOY: Why do you take such a dim 
view of your homeland? 
muer: I've always felt that Um in 


this country and not of it. I feel little 
connection with the things around me 
here. I'm not interested in political or 
social movements. J live my own restrict- 
ed life. with my friends. What T read 
about the American way of life, about 
what goes ou here, fills me with horror 
and dismay. It's become even more of an 
air-conditioned nightmare than it was 
when I wrote the book. Tm being cor- 
roborated, I feel. by events. 

PLAYBOY: How do vou mean? 

MILER: Well, it seems to me that in 
the seventy-two years I've lived, we've 
advanced—what, half a millimeter? Or 
have we gone back a few yards? This 
how I look back on what we call our 
“progress.” However civilized we seem to 
be, we're still just as ignorant, stupid, 
perverse and sadistic as savages. For sev- 
enty-two years Tve been waiting to sce 
some breakdown of th ficial ba 
educational system, our 
our homes, our inner 
shattering of the wretched 
a which we're fixed—but it never 


being—a 
molds 
happens. We have the dynamite but we 
don't set it off. I get sick of waiting. De 
spite the rosy dreams of the politicians 
and the so-called intellectuals of today, 
wer ot going to bring about a better 
world peaceably and in an evolutionary 
manner, through piecemeal improve- 
ments; we progress, as we regress, in cat- 


astrophic jumps. And when I talk about 
the violent, explosive alteration of 
things, it’s a w much as a pre 
diction of future events. To me it means 
a new chance, a new birth. Fm tired of 
history. I want to see everything swept 
away to clear the ground for something 
new. I want to get beyond civilization 
to what has been called the posthistoric 
state and see the new man who will live 
without all the restrict 
barriers that hedge us in 
PLAYBOY: Do you think this is a reali: 
tic hope? 

MUER: How can we tell? If we knew 
what was coming—good or bad— 
probably give up struggling to achieve 
it. It’s true enough that the evidence of 
the past gives us little reason 10 believe 
that we ever will, for in the unfolding of 
history. the advances we have made have 
seemed to me illusory. We relapse 
and time again. It can be argued that w 
always will, that man will al 
basically the same—that he's spi 
incurable, Well, maybe that’s true about 
the majority of mankind, but there have 
been enough emancipated individuals 
throughout the course of history—proph- 
ets, religious leaders, innovators—to 
make me believe that we can break the 
old, suffocating molds, that we can some 
how end forever the vicious and fu 
cycle of aspiration and disenchantment, 
wanscend the age-old and recurring di 
lemmas, rid ourselves of the appurte- 
nances of so-called zation— jump 
clear of the clockwork, as someone put 
it. If we can, it's just barely possible d 
someday whars buried in us and longs 
to come out will find expression. 1 can't. 
imagine what the form of that ideal fu- 
ture may take—but it will mean giving 
egress, howev atedly, to the human 
spirit. 

PLAYBOY: Do you feel that your own 
career has made any lasting and mean- 
inglul contribution toward that end? 
MILLER: Who could dare to hope for 
that much? I'd say, undoubtedly, that I 
have brought about a tangible revolu- 
ion which has won for 
ithor certain 
from censorship—at least temporarily. I 
wonder, however, now that you put the 
question, what sort of elfect 1 would 
want xo haye, were | capable of hay 
one—I mean, in an everlasting way. But 
of course nothing is everlasting, unless it 
be the endless cycle of creation 
struction on which you and I 
of us, for good or ill, leaves his own 
ique but infinitesimal n We are 
a men and women, alter all. And the 
lowest is not so different from the high- 
est- To be human, truly human, that is 
quite enough for me. 


h as 


civi 


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is matched by his quest for quality. Facts: 1,900,000 of today's 3,000,000 male students read PLAYBOY 
every month. Asked to single out the magazine they would like to see a quality advertiser use, PLAYBOY 
won hands down. 85% specified PLAYBOY “first” among all magazines. To excel in the college market, 
PLAYBOY is the course to take. (Source: 1964 DuPont College/Career Fashion Conference Study.) 


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—. Tlie Pious 
Pornographers | 
D Revisited 


E $ ladies’ mags since our last revealing Iook behind 


E 


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_ the lace curtain of prim pretensions 


94 


£ seems better than it was,’ uie 
doctor told Evelyn Ayres after he had concluded his 
ation. "Have you been pulling it out 
al times, morning and night, the way 
showed you?’ 
es, Doctor - 

jeve I told you that there is a dilference of 
ion as to the best method of toughening 


Í HAT INVERTED NIP 


too engrossed in my 

iding to answer- ess engagements 
and friendly chitchat could wait. After six long years 
wspapers, novels and historical 
studies, I had finally recuperated from the shakes 
and staggers brought on by the research involved in 
writing the original Pious Pornographers for this 
journal of castrate 


gynecology 
specialty of some of America's most widely read sex 


books—the women's magazines: 

77... Your uterus is small and firm. . . . Your 

breasts show no signs of pregnancy enporge 
mem... 
... This tic dream of a man and 
woman alone in a Garden of Eden, perfumed, flecked 
with butterflies. A red petal [cll from the African 
tulip uee ~ 

“'Oh, Bill,’ she whispered, half-choking. . . - 
Then he kissed her. Her lips were like orchids— 
crumpled, soft, cool, moist. They clung to his. Her 
arms were around his neck - 

“The range of frequency in intercourse for cou- 
ples of 25 10 35 is grear, A few have intercourse as 
olten as 20 to 30 times a month; others only t 
month. For the majority, the average 
awek...” 

“IE he had h 
isn't that I'm a frigid wil 
(which is my preference) I respond readily . . 

‘Q. What about the forceful technique of 
Jove? Do you think that women prefer it? 
^. Sometimes. Many couples think tha 
in sex simply means a different position. Va 
can also mean a different psychological attitude. If 
man surprises his wife, spontancously, on a Sund 
fternoon, or in a different room of the hou 


ice 
2 or 3 times 


way, it would be every night, It 
for I am not. Once a week 


their relationship enormously more erotic .. ~ 
“He said 1 was cold, 1 he was ov 
Once he even wanted to make love at lunchtime!” 
‘Of couse it’s awfully hard not to. You both 
want to so much. Sure, Jim used to get fresh with me 
now and then, but I'd s handle it by saying 
"Look at the television” or something. But once I 
thought, Oh, why not? 
“The hymen is a th 
stretched 
“tAm I afraid to use mine? I said. 
Yo, George-said, "like 1 say, you. 
ivious. You use your pelvis...” 
"I did a little bump. 
* "But I wouldn't go too far; Geor 
feel from his neck that he was beg 
“Why do m 
show? Why 
thing? " 
“+ And... well, onc night I drank 
beer in the car with him. and it happened 
I just couldn't help it. After all, girls want it just as 


. Phyllis, 


© naturally 


aid. 1 could 
ng to color.” 

a burlesque 
a solemn 


anuch as boys do, don't they? " 
ny pregnant, and 1 hate sex, Bob has 


no self-d 
Shhh! Its all right,’ Harry said to soothe he 
and his hand began carefully to explore the eye 
hooks which closed the band of her brassier T 
"Movies. popular so ion constantly 
portray only the passion side of Irv e Go 
our adolescents the false impression that this is love 
in its entirety . . 
We went across the bridge to the soft dark gi 
--.7I will not ever love anybody else in my life, no- 
body but you." | put my shoulders, 
nd 1 pulled him down on top of me on the grass." 
"Our daughters are the targets of the smut purvey- 
ors, the shoddy advertisers and the tasteless enter- 
ainment makers of Hollywood : 
-. What we do, stated in simple terms, is to 
id's sperm into the cervix by arti. 
1s, partially or perhaps entirely above the 
nfluences in the vagi id cervix . 


rms around h; 


nd television . . .' 


insert the hush 
fi 


ial n 
armful 


But all this was merely prolog. 


a forests which comprise the 
s literary home jungle, the natives have grown 
considerably more restless, tasteless, sanctimonious 
ad outspoken. As the above sa 
suggests. the ca nd ihe clinical a 
erved up in large monthly doses of titillation 
despair. But, as we shall soon discover, time has bred. 
some rather curious and significant developments. As 
a result of the much-discuss 1 revolution, 
the new wend to verbal frankness, the medicine men 
1d tribal counselors have occasionally made bold to 
dott their gynecologic: i 


iror Hy underprivileged fen 
self up by her own bra stray 
more backward wives and virgins to erotic tech 
niques and handicrafts which have formerly bome 
the stigma of mass-circulation taboos. In addition to 
offering thinly veiled sanctions of cert iechods of 
arousal previously rele, ted pur- 
licus of the “deviant the pious 
fit to 

ad 


dramatic vignettes concerning rape, 
homosexuality, prostitution, 
itercourse, and interraci: n be- 
n a middle-aged Frenchman and a 13-year-old 
Negro nymphet 

Almost as interesting as the differences are some 
of the astonishing similaritics—the echoing and re- 
echoing of many of the same peculiar problems and 
eties which were noted the first time around. 
“I'm in love with my obstetrician!” a young mother 
had blushingly confessed in an old June issue of 
Redbook. And, five years later, the Ladies’ Home 
Journal ran a similarly wwittery epistle from a flus 
ed “Mrs. Red-Faced,” in which the same momen: 
tous revelation was made without so much as a 
change of punctuation: “I'm in love with my obste- 

i Equally coincidental, one supposes, is the 

in January 1960, the Journal's long 
playing misery-of-themonth feature, "Tell Me 
yan a c al retread of a story on wicho- 
pesky form of vaginal itch that had 
cropped up in the same feature during our first set 
of office hours. “I think (continued overleaf) 


"It's a new game, dear—strip croquet! 


PLAYBOY 


96 


maybe I've got it, Docior—that infection 
you told me might flare up," a young. 
newlywed named Marian Hodges now 
exclaimed in agitated italics. “Anyway, 
I've got something! 

‘Though localized in the same vital 
arca, it was an itch of a much more usu- 
al sort that troubled. Jan, the sex-starved 
mate of a brilliant but unresponsive 
young physicist named Kent, whose im- 
passioned account of sexual neglect in 
the May '63 issue of the Journal bore a 
remarkable similarity to Redbook's 
equally impassioned saga of a female 
named June, the se: e of an 
unresponsive accountant named Ken, 
which had first alerted me to the sexual 
preoccupations of the women's month- 
lies, eight years before. "CAN THIS MAR- 
RIACE BI »" the Journal now 


SAVED? 
wondered. And, just beneath, there 
the old familiar twoline playlet, su 
able for production by little-theater. 
groups who couldn't afford the royalty 
fee on Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. 
hc says: "Kent isn't one bit like the 
age man. He's cold—sexually cold, I 
y any other per- 
son is getting too close, I feel hemmed 
in, panicky. 
In many ways he is considerate and 
gentle,” 24yearold Jan woefully ac- 
knowledges, when the article finally set- 
tles down to the meat and potatoes of 
her problem. “He is extra good about 
opening doors for me, pulling out my 
chair, remembering holidays. But if we 
make love three or four times a month, 
Kent is satisfied. Even then the expe- 
rience is frequently spoiled by his clab- 
orate birth-control procedures . . - 

On the face of it, its 
Kent might merely be a young man with 
extremely moderate appetites and 
ordinate fondness for life's litle 
ad ceremonies—a rather prudent sort, 
who would not hesitate to wear two or 
three pairs of socks to bed, if he deemed 
it wise to do so. But I had no time to 
mull the matter, because Jan went right 
talking: 

“Because yesterday was our 
ary. 1 had high hopes thi 
different. . . . I stayed home from the 
office and rode herd on our cleaning 
woman, and we got the apartment in su- 
.. I put romantic records 
candles on the dinner table, 
neglig 


in vain. 
he labo- 
ratory, he was still deeply absorbed in 
research problems. “Naturally he didn't 
notice my negligee. And he didn't kiss 
ne .. " she said, with an almost 
ble sob. “Dessert was cherries jubile: 
T flamed the brandy, he announced he 
had an evening date with laboratory col- 
leagues to practice golf shots at a flood- 
lighted driving range. At that moment 1 
lost my temper, and suggested he go 


came home from 


back and sleep in the 
he cared so litde about s 
me. 

“Kent ignored my outburst and w 
off with his golf clubs, fled and 
serene, still without 
hysterics there in the apartment—all 
dressed up in my sexy black chiffon with 
nobody to admire it or me . . .” 

Moved to manly compas Jan's 
scantily dad tizy, I had to admit that 
Kenv-the-physicist was a much cooler cus- 
tomer than Ken-the accountant had ever 
been. As I recalled, Ken-the-account 
at had taken up the nocturnal hobby 
of playing with a jazz band because 
June's comehither tactics consisted 
mainly of harping, nagging, and toying 
with his ears—activities that should suf- 
fice to cause the most ardent husband 
to lose interest. But- wh of un- 
fecling cad was Kem to the 
flaming Freudian suggestion 
Jan's anniversary offering of che 
bilee? How could he serenely go off and 
Is, 


was slinking about their supershaped 
apartment in her sexy black chiffon, 
ready and eager for a fast round of con- 


jugal pitch and putt? Was it possible 
that Kent was physically and emotional- 
ly depleted. from opening doors and 
pulling out chairs? Or had he, too, been 
taking days off t0 ride herd on the clean- 
ing woman? But no. According to Jan, 
The only people Kent enjoys are other 
physicists. The only sport that interests 
him is golf . . - 

1 had just about made up my mind 
that Kent was the sort of chap who 
would bear watching in the men's locker 
room, when the Journal gave him a 
chance to speak his piece, and 1 began to 
sce where friend Jan could be something. 
less than totally lovable. "She is argu- 
men: 
clared. 
barely a hundred pounds—she's astonish- 
ngly noisy. She nded, heavy- 
footed. ) is an excellent cook. But 
thumping around our kitchen, banging 
the pots and pans, she produces the 
sound ellects of an invading army.” Be- 
fore they were married, he recalled, Jan 
was content to spend a quiet even L 
his place, cooking dinner, while he 
caught up on his reading and paper 
work. "Now if I open a book, Jan's 
mouth opens and an aimless stream of 
chitchat pours forth. The other evening, 
while I was trying to concentrate on a 
tricky problem that had arisen at the 
laboratory, she followed me from room 
to room, saying again and again: “Talk 
to me, honey, talk to me. Listen to me, 
honey, listen’ Eventually the refrain 
drove me to the street . - 

According to the Ladies Home Jour- 
nal, Kent's and Jan's differences were so 
great that even the experts at the Ame 
can Institute of ly Relations could 


itive and bossy,” Kent flatly de- 
or a small person—she weighs 


claim only partial success in resolving 
them. With the aid of a marriage coun- 
sclor, Jan "devised methods to reduce 
the pressures she had been putting on 
her husband. . . . She rejoined a once. 
week bowling club, became active in an 
intraoffice sewing circle.” Kent, on | 
part, “suggested membership in a Satur- 
day-night dance club." While their sex- 
ual relationship remained far from ideal 

nable to thump- 
ing around in the boudoir as soon 
Jan gave up banging pots and pans 
the Kitchen. “As yet they have no ch 
dren, but they 
control,” the Journal reported. with its 
usual. colfee-klatch very 
soon, Jan hopes she may have exciting 
news to announce." 

On the basis of a long-term acquaint- 
ance with the women’s magazines, J 
knew better than to assume th 
“exciting news" would necessai 
sern the birth of a bouncing b: 
cist. If she were at all typical of the 
general run of Ladies’ Home Journal 
brides, Jan would be just as likely 10 
make a national announcement of the 
discovery that she had a U-shaped uterus 
or inverted nipples, or that the new sex- 
peppy Kent had become so insatiable in 
his demands that she had heen forced to 
enroll in a Wednesday-night class in 
defensive judo. 

Lest anyone, at this late date, questio 
our masculine right to read and com. 
ment upon such wifely woes, let 
ten to point out that in the opi 
one of its male editors, the Ladies’ Home 
Journal is a man’s magazine. “As a pl 
wright. . . J found myself writing about 
women a good deal,” Journal editor 
William McCleery wrote in the same 
issue that had given Amer 
side story on Marian 
kitchy case of trichomoniasis. "It finally 
dawned on me that 1 didn't really know 
much about women, and I thought work- 
ing for the Journal might be 


the in- 
Hodges’ itchy- 


1 think. My wife thinks so, too. Actual 
1 take the view that the Journal is 
man's magazine. Who needs to know 
about women more than men?" 
While g as our own personal 
passport to a greater knowledge of the 
troubled sex, Mr. McCleery's statement 
underscored magazines 
new and ever-increasing emphasis upon 
the male and his sexuality, Reading 
through the six-year stack of back issues 
that had piled up under my bed, 1 
found, for instance, that more and mor 
men were turning up in the previously 
Lfcmale “Tell Me Doctor” feature. As 
nearly as I have been able to determine, 
this trend 10 sexual integration of the 
doctors office began in June of “5 
z bride-to-be named Evely 
visited the Journals Trusted Physician 
for a premarital checkup. The visit 
(continued on page 190) 


the womens 


HOW TO BE A JEWISH MOTHER* 


humor By DAN GREENBURG 


or an irish, negro or german mother or any other kind 
of smotherloving mother you can think of 


THERE IS MORE to being a Jewish mother 
than being Jewish and a mother. Properly 
practiced, Jewish motherhood is an art— 
a complex network of subtle and highly 
sophisticated techniques. Fail to master 
these techniques and you hasten the black 
day you discover your children can get 
along without you. 

You will be called upon to function as 
philosopher on two distinct types of 

ions: 

(1) Whenever anything bad happens. 

(2) Whenever anything good happens. 

Whenever anything bad happens, you 
must point out the fortunate aspects of 
the situation: 


"Ma! Ma!" 

"What's the commotion?” 

“The bad boys ran off with my 
hat” 

“The bad boys ran off with your 
hat? You should be grateful they 
didn't also cut your throat.” 


Also point out that Bad Experience is 
the best teacher: 


"Maybe next time you'll know 
better than to fool with roughnecks. 
Its the best thing that could have 
happened to you, believe me.” 


Whenever anything good happens, y 
must, of course, point out the unfortunate 
aspects of the situation: 


"Ma! Ma!” 

“So whats the trouble now?” 
“The Youth Group Raffle! 1 won a 

Pontiac convertible! 
“You won a Pontiac automobile in 

the Youth Group Raflle? Very nice. 

The insurance alone is going to send 

us to the poorhouse." 


Underlying all techniques of Jewish 
motherhood is the ability to plant, cul- 
tivate and harvest guilt, Control guilt and 
you control the child, 

An old folk saw (continued on page 169) 


THE MOST EXCITING CLUB 
ACQUISITION TO DATE—AN ISLAND 
PARADISE IN THE CARIBBEAN 


TWENTY-TWO MINUTES out of Montego Bay. the de 
Havilland Heron, its quartet of Rolls-Royce engines 
thrumming gently, flew eastward over the ribbon of 
white beaches lazily lining Jamaica’s swank north 
coast. The plane held its course past the town of 
Ocho Rios: then, banking slowly to starboard, it be- 
gan chasing its shadow across the lush jungle sur- 
rounding the huge resort hotel that now lay below. 

Inside the de Havilland was Hugh M. Hefner, 
Playboy's Ambassador Plenipotentiary to Jamaica, 
Editor-Publisher of eLAvsov and President of Play- 
boy Clubs International, come to the island in the 
sun to make a decision that would extend the world 
of Playboy to the most exciting and sophisticated of 
all the Caribbean isles. With him were Playmate of 
the Year Donna Michelle, whose photogenic pres- 
ence would later enhance this magazine's editorial 
coverage of Jamaica and the Club's promotional lit- 
erature, and long-time friends Shelly Kasten, Play- 
boy Club Talent Director, and Lee Wolfberg, former 
head of the Chicago office of General Artists Corpo 
ration and now personal manager for singer Vic Da- 
mone. Pompeo Posar, PLAvEoY Staff Photographer, 


Top: Hefner and friends en route monslop from Lefi: Prop-planing from Montego, gang is waved a warm welcome by 
Chicago to Montego Bay in private Lockheed JetStar. Bunnies at airport adjoining Playboy Club's lavish Resort-Hotel. 


Above: S.O.P. for VIPs, Bunny service “bar 
excellence” isenjoyed by guest in Hotel’ s Olympic- 


Above: Male guest and water-spritely first mate 
cul wide, wel swath across newly named Bunny 
Bay, Hotel’s private lagoon, once a irate haven. 


Above: Aerial panorama of Hotels sun-swept beach and palm-shaded ten- Above: Late-rising couple savors Bunny 
acre grounds, just a few miles from Ocho Rios on Jamaica's north shore. champagne brunch on lanai of spacious suite. 99 


Slipping away from Hotel social whirl, 
Playmate of the Year Donna Michelle 
makes tracks on secluded strand. 


rounded out the airborne entourage. 

Hefner earlier had sent Arnold J. 
Morton, Director of Playboy Club Oper- 
ns, and Robert S. Preuss, Business 


for pre 
d to work out di 
tion of the $6,500,000 ultraluxurious 
Reef Club, which had been offered to 
Hefner as a Playboy Club-Hotel. The 
glowing reports of Morton and Preuss 
had brought Hefner and the others that. 
morning from Chicago to Montego Bay 
in a private JetStar lent to h 
heed. From Montego Bay's 1 
y'd switched to the prop-driv- 
and for the short hop to the 
smaller field near Ocho Rios. If. Hefner 
agreed with the recommendations of his 
top executives, the signing of final pa 
pers would take place and the multimil- 
lion-dollar property, framed in a fabu- 
lous Jamaican land- and seascape, would 
be on its way toward becoming the most 
lavish and spectacular link in the Play- 
boy Club chain. 

Leaning forward in his seat as the 
plane began to circle for a landing, Hef 
pointed out the window with the stem 
of his briar. it is,” he said. “My 
God, it’s be: 

100 “It looks like something out of The 


Above: Taking cye-filling advantage of the area's abundant seaside 
privacy, Donna sheds her duds for a refreshing dip in the Caribbean. 


Above: At Dunn’s River Falls, a spectacular sylvan cascade that is among many natural wonders wilhin easy access of the 
Hotel, Donna—a spectacular natural wonder in her own right —wades winsomely in the shallows where the falls meei the sea. 


Displaying flawless form and table manners, Donna draws bead 
on ball during late-afternoon pool game in Club-Hotel's new Pla: 
male Bar, soon to be adorned with gatefold photos, including hers. 


. as the resort came into full view. 

In that brief glimpse, the Hotel did indeed seem as plush and 

clegant as it had in the reports Morton and Preuss had sent 

k to Chicago—and, as it proved on inspection, to be: ten 
acres of choice land fronting on a sculptured cove; the largest 
swimming pool in the West Indies; an 800-foot private coral sand. 
beach; two championship tennis courts; exotically landscaped 
gardens and walks; and a separate nightclub building. The Ho- 
tel complex itself has a main building and two large wings, be- 
tween which is the huge circular dining room. There are 204 
spacious rooms, most of them bilevel, with step-down living 
rooms for entertaining: private patios; sunken baths; and pent- 
house apartments. Tiers of lanai rooms and cabanas overlooking 
the ocean complete the layout. The site itself, though secluded 
and jungle girt, is within casy reach of the 
tion delights 

The private 
first one out of the plane. It was a balmy 7 outside 
(it was mid-January and the temperature had been close to 
freezing when they left Chicago a few hours earlier): a refreshi 
breeze was blowing in off (continued on page 176) 


Taking cue from Danna, Playboy International President Hefner 
decides to pool assets, ponders how to pocket them as friend Lee 
Wolfberg, offering counsel, tells him he’s behind the eight ball. 


Donna and Hef lead line of gu 


will be nightly attraction for those 


side buffet which 
erring ouldoor dining 
new VIP Room. 


Abore, Lto r: As part of after-dinner enteriainment in Playmate Bar, Bunnies twist on tabletop to rhythms of Jamaican band, 
which honored Playboy's acquisition of Hotel with original calypso song of welcome. At party celebrating the erent, Hef and 
Donna chat with fellow guest Hugh Dow NBC how host. Below: Guests learn limbo from limber native troupe. 


SIDE BY SIDE 


she was dead now and he 
was going to kill the man who 
stole what was left of her 


fiction By JOHN TOMERLIN 


"ur STILL SEEMS HARD 10 believe," the 
young man said from the chair next to 
mine. "Saul Kessler . . . the author of 
Letters from Miriam . . . after all these 
years.” Doubt flickered across his glow. 
ing features. "You don’t think he'll 
mind? Your bringing me along?" 

"No," I said. “I don't think hell 
minc 

The young man’s name was Joel Car- 
son, a summer student at NYU whom 
I'd met the week before at Rienzi's, in 
the Village. He'd been looking lor a 
chess opponent, and I'd obliged him with 
a couple of games, turning back his en- 
thusiastic king’s gambits without much 
difficulty. He had spoken fluently. be- 
tween moves, of “the death of the nov 
el,” and of the great literary figures, 
past and present. I'd found his optimism 
both refreshing and contagious, and 
when our conversation had chanced 
upon the name of Kessler, I'd admitted. 
(for the first time in how long?) that Saul 
had be i 

“I don't think he'll mind,” I said. “In 
fact, he likes company. 1 should get up 
to the sanatorium more often myself to 


true: guilt was part of my mo- 
tive. The long ride and the inevitable 
postvisit depression made me reluctant 
to see Saul more u y 
I was overdue this time and, when Joel 
had proved such an ardent admirer 
most young people seem to be of Kes- 
sler), it had occurred to me to suggest 
that he come along. We were seated in 
the train now, headed north along the 
Hudson on an overly warm Sunday af- 
ternoon, and 1 still wasn't certain Td 
done the right thing, 

Joel said: ^I wasn't even sure he was 
still alive. E mean, I read his book years 
and years ago. He must be at least" 
oke off and looked at me, flushing- 

“Only thirtyseven,” I said, smiling at 
the tide of red rising toward my friend's 
closecut blond hair. “However, that may 
seem more advanced to you than it docs 
to me.” 

“Oh, no, I didn't mean—" But then 
he, too, grinned and said: "Well, T guess 
it docs. I was only about fifteen when I 
first read him, and the book had al- 
ready been out several years.” 

“It was published in 1952 ... the 
year after Miriam died. 

He nodded solemnly. "I know. Tragic. 
To think of his talent, and then a thing 
like that happening. Tt was what ruined 
him, wasn’t it? 1 read about it.” 


s." I said, "Miriam destroyed him.” 

Beyond the window, the wide sweep 
of river moved past. It looked more like 
a lake at this point, its current so deep 
and slow that it left the surface untrou- 
bled—ike the lives of "normal" people 
Across the sun-silvered expanse, West 
Point rose high against the green hills, 
threatening as fate, commanding the 
passage below. I found myself feeling 
strangely disassociated and remote; 
standing at a distance from life, an ob- 
server instead of a participant. “What 
you may not have read,” I went on, 
"— because so few people knew it 
that she destroyed him after she dic 

I sensed his eyes on me (rather 
shocked, 1 imagined) and knew, then, 
why I really had invited him. I meant to 
tell him the story that had been caged 
inside me so long—the story that had 
been rising, slowly, like a cake of soap, 
to the surface of my mind for 12 years. 
Images .. . voices . . . characters from 
the past were crowded in the wings, 
waiting to perform for my audience of 
one... 


wa 


Miriam was, in many ways, the most 
remarkable woman I've ever known. She 
and met (had been introduced 
n 1950, while she was still 
attending the university, and Saul had 
already begun the struggle to write. It 
had been the sort of meeting where "the 
heavens open and the 
everyone could see it. They left together 
that first night, and a week later Miriam 
moved in with him. After that, they 
were virtually never apart. I confess that 
I envied Saul a little—all his friends did 
—but only a little, because the 
viously meant for each other. 

She was a beautiful girl, Not the 
Broadway type, perhaps, but with darkly 
arresting features and a fine body, rather 
full-figured for one so small. She was ex- 
cellent at any kind of sport or game, 
hating to lose as much as she loved to 
win. But it was her eyes, and the mind 
that looked out from them, that I re- 
member best: She had one of the keenest 
minds I've ever known, and Saul was 
forever saying how much brighter she 
was than he—though I don't think any- 
one believed that. 

Still, she conquered just about every- 
thing she set out to do. She had stud 
nguapes in school, and spoke several— 
Greek, French and German that I know 
of; she was a talented artist (with a lean- 
ing toward caricature), and played gui- 
and sang folk music so well that we 
spent many evenings at Saul's just lis- 
tening to her. I heard that she won rave 
reviews once, for her performance 
Nora in 4 Doll's House, while she was at 
college, but I never saw her act. Then, 
in her merc 


were ob- 


al way, she decided to 
take up dancing, and she left Saul for 
the first time—and the last—to attend a 
school on (continued on page 216) 


105 


PLAYBOY 


106 


s Dm 
The Headly Halls of Foy 


D (a 
CY 
G- By Paul Goom 


is america’s mania for mass education throttling initiative, 
individuality and intellect in the groves of academe? 


AMERICANS ARE SoLD on schooling and are continually pouring new billions into it. 
including the brightest, going to school for many years is not 
only a poor way of getting an education, but is positively s 
and colleges can super lly be improved, of course, but their basic idea is wrong 
For most students, schooling prevents education. It destroys initiative and the re- 
lation to society that education is supposed to be about. 

Consider a usual case: a young fellow, 20 years old, in a college classroom. Let me 
obvious facts about his si on. 
been in an equivalent classroom for 


Yet for most youth, 


maging. The high schoc 


»t out sonu 
The salient and astonishing fact is that he h 
14 continuous years, interrupted only by summer vacations. Although schooling has 
been the serious part of h; fe, he has spent those 14 years passively listening to some 
grownup talking or has doggedly done assigned lessons. (Even the lessons, by the way, 
have not been programed by the living teacher in front of him, but by a distant board 
of regents, a dean of faculties, a textbook manufacturer.) Our young man has never 
once scriously assigned himself a task or done anything earnest on his own e. 
Sometimes, as a child, he thought he was doing something earnest on his own, but the 
adults pooh-poohed it as play and interrupted him. Now he's a junior in college. 

He's bright; he can manipulate formulas and remember sentences. For instance, dur- 
ing his last year in high school, he made good grades on a series of grueling state and 
national tests, regents, college boards, national merits, scholastic aptitudes. In this 
college, which is increasingly geared to process Ph.D.s, he has survived, though the 
washout rate is nearly 40 percent. He has even gotten a partial scholarship through the 
National Defense Education Act. Yet he doesn't especially like books, he is not schol- 
arly, and he gets no flashes of insight into the structure or the methods of the academic 
subjects. This isn't the field in which his intelligence, grace and strength show to best 
advantage. He just learns the answers. Necdless to say, he has already forgotten most 
of the answers that once enabled him to pass his courses, sometimes brilliantly. 

The academic subject being taught in this particular classroom is intrinsically in- 
teresting most arts and sciences are intrinsically interesting—and the professor, or 
even the section man, probably knows a good deal about it. But, especially if it is 
one of the social sciences or humanities, our young man does not grasp that it is about 
something; it has no connection for him. He has had too little experience of life. He 
has not practiced a craft, been in business, tried to make a living, been fired, been 


po 


PLAYBOY 


108 (1 find these youth almost unu 


married, had to cope with children. He 
hasn't voted, served on a jury, am- 
paigned for office, or picketed. If he comes 
from a middle-class suburb, he might 
never have even seen poor people or the 
foreign-borns. His emotions have been 
carefully limited by conventions, his par- 
ents, the conformism of his peer group. 
What, for him, could philosophy, history, 
sociology, political science, psychology, 
great music, cl . possibly 
be about? In The Republic, Plato for- 
bids teaching most of the academic sub- 
jects until the student is 30 years old, 
lest the teaching and 1 be merely 
verbal and empti, 

Our young m comba- 
tive. But sometimes he is stimulated, or 
piqued, by something that the teacher or 
the book says, and he wants to demu 
argue or ask a question. But the class is 
really too crowded for dialog. If the 
teacher is a lecturer, the format forbids 

nterrupting. And a chief obstacle is the 
other stud In their judgment, dis- 
cussion is irrelevant to the finals and the 
grades—"Professor! Are we responsible 
for that on the final e —and 
they resent the waste of time. They re- 
sent it if any individu 
attention, Even so, suppose that the pro- 
fessor, or the young section man, is heart- 
e and docs want 


in the social sciences or the hum 
he might express subtle, speculative or 
disenting opinions: he might ask about 
the foundations of an instituti 
fer to somebody's personal experience. 
At once a wall of hostility will rise 
inst the teacher as well as the ques- 
g student; surely he must be a 
Communist pacifist or homosexual; 
maybe he is making fun of them. Feeling 
the hostility, and being, on the average, 
a rather timid academic, worried about 
tenure or advancement, the teacher signs 
off: “Well, les get back to the meat of 
the course,” or "That's beyond our scope 
here, why don't you take sosh 4032” or 
"Thats really anthropology. young man. 
you'd beter ask Professor O'Reilly, heh- 
heh. 

Little of the t 
see the relev 


tioni 


aching makes a student 


be 
ingenu 


t of sequence B 
toward a bachcl. fusio! 
gravated by the fact that his generation, 
including ihe young teachers, has an ex- 
ceedingly tenuous loyalty to the culture 
of the Western world, the ideal of disin 
terested science, the republic of letters. 
Mass culture. world wars, a largely pho- 
ny standard of living rooted in status 
striv and material  acquisitiveness, 
lack of community spirit; all these have 
torn the humanistic tradition to shreds. 
ichable; 


though they are bright, and re- 
spectiul, they simply do not dig what 
we academics are trying to say) The 
humanistic function of higher education 
has been replaced: The university has be- 
come nothing but a factory to train ap- 
prentices and proces union cards for a 
few corporations and a few professions. 
Their needs predetermine what goes on. 
Paradoxically, a college is a poor en 
ronment in which to train apprentices— 
except in lab sciences, where one works 
t real problems with real apparatus. 
Most of the academic curriculum, wheth- 
er in high school or college, is necessarily 


are imported. into. the 
rooms and taught as the curriculum. 
i ancient procedure sometimes 
makes sense; it makes sense for aspiring 
professionals who know what they are 
after, and for the scholarly who have a 
philosophic: in essences and 
thi But for most stu- 
dents, the abstractness of the curriculum, 
especially if the teaching is pedantic, can 
be utterly barren, The lessons are only 
exercises, with no relation to the real 
world; they are never “for keeps.” And 
many of the teachers are not practicing 
professionals but merely academics, i 
terested in the words, not the thing. (As 
if recognizing the academic unreality, 
the college recently been inviting 
outsiders, professionals, poets. polit 

cians, etc., to give talks and readings and 
spend a week "in residence”; but this 
only makes the ordinary classroom seem 
duller by contrast, especially since the 
outsiders, who have no status to lose, are 
more outspoken or flamboyant.) 

Our young man respects his teacher, 
ps unduly so, but he cannot help 
ppointed. He had hoped, in 
a vague way, that when he came to cok 
lege it would be different from high 
school. He would be a kind of junior 
friend of learned men who had made it: 
he could model himself on them. After 
all. except. for 
ers, he had had 
adults. He thought, too, that the atmos- 
phere in college would be—somehow— 
free, liberating, a kind of wise bull ses- 
sion that would reveal a secret. But it 
has proved to be the same competi 
cash accounting of hours, tests. credits 
and grades. The teacher is, in fact, pre- 
occupied with his own research and. pub- 
lishing: in both class and office hours he 
is formal and standoffish; he never ap- 
pears in the coffee shop: he certainly 
never exposes himself as a human bein 
He is meticulous about the assi, 
being on time and about the grading, 
not because he believes in the system, 
but to keep the students 
he does not realize that they respect him. 
anyway. So, just as in high school, the 
youth are driven back to their exclusive 


youth “subculture.” which only distracts 
further from any meaning that the ac 
demic subjects might have. As David 
Riesman and others have pointed out, 
the students and faculty confront one 
another like hostile, mutually suspicious 

s 

Also, in recent years, this alienation 
or lack of community has been bad- 
ly exacerbated by the chaotic transitio 
that almost every college in the cour 
try is now undergoing. The grounds 
torn up by bulldovers; the enrollment 
excessive; the classes arc too large; the 
students are housed three and four in a 
room meant for wo. The curriculum is 
continually being readjusted: the profes- 
sors are pirated away by salary increases 
and contracted research. These condi- 
tions are supposed to quiet down even- 
tually, but I have seen them now for 
seven or eight years and the immediate 
future will be worse. Meanwhile, a whole 
generation is being sacrificed. 
n even deadlier aspect of wansition 
is the knowledge explosion. New ap- 
proaches and altogether new subjects 
must be taught, yet the entrenched fac- 
ulty is by no means willing to give up 
any of the old prescribed subjects. This 
is a peculiar phenomenon: One would 
expect that. since the professors hi 
tenure, they would welcome dropping 
some of the course load; but their im- 
perialism is too strong—they will give up 
othing. So our student is taking five, or 
even six, subjects when the maximum 
might better be three. Whenever he be- 
gins to get interested in something, he is 
interrupted by other chores. Rushed, he 
can give only token performances, which 
he has learned to fake. No attention 
id to whi 
trinsic motivation he will obviously 
learn nothing at all. The only time a 
student is treated as a person is when he 
breaks down and is referred to guidance. 
Instead of reliance on intrinsic mo- 
tives, on respect for individuality and 
leisure for exploration, there is the 


suits him, although without 


stepped-up pressure of extrinsic motiv 
tions—fear and bribery. On the one 
hand, there is the pressure of schedules, 


deadlines and grades, not to speak of the 
fantastic tuition and other fees that will 
go down the drain if the student flunks 
out. On the other hand, lavish scholar- 
ships and the talent scouts for the big 
corporations hovering about with tempt 
ing offers. In this atmosphere of forced 
labor—punching a time clock. keeping 
one's nose clean, and with one eye cor 
stantly on a raise in salary—disinterested 
scrutiny of the nature of things, the joy 
of discovery, moments of creativity, the 
finding of identity and vocation die be- 
fore they are born. It is sickening to 


. we must say something a 
I and community life from 
which our collegian has come into this 
(continued on page 206) 


PLAYBOY'S 
PIGSKIN PREVIEW 


Memphis State tackle Harry Schuh holds Bunnies Mary Kelley and Ana Lizza aloft 


sports By ANSON MOUNT tur xar race 1s on acain. But this time 
the catcalls have turned to cheers. Back in the late Forties, when unlimited sub 
stitution revolutionized college football, anguished groans rose from conserva 
tives. Overnight, football changed more than it 
legalized. "Football has become a rat race,” insisted Tennessee Coach Bob Ney- 
land to all who would listen. Neyland and others finally rallied enough support, 
and strictly limited substitution was reinstated in the early Fifties. And it’s been 
a big mess ever since, with confusing, complex and often contradictory new sub- 


ad since the forward pass was 


Clockwise from noon: Mi rrett, halfbock, Southern Col; Ken Willord, holfbock, N. Corolino; Lowrence Elkins, flonkerbock, Baylor; Jerry Lomb, 
end, Ark; Steve Delong, guord, Tenn.; Rolph Neely, tockle, Oklo.; Glenn Ressler, center, Penn Stote: Dick Butkus, linel r, IIL; Ston Hindmon, 


PLAYBOY'S 
1064 

PREVIEW 
ALL-AMERICA 
TEAM. : 


stitution regulations bi lopted n 
the worst, the di aos reigned in many games and the coaches spent much of their time kecping wack of substitution 
legaliti 

So the noble experiment has been scuttled, the purists have abandoned their hope of forcing coaches to teach all players 
every aspect of the game, and hordes of players will be streaming on and off the field every time the ball changes hands. The old 
axiom “If in doubt, punt,” has been changed to “If in doubt, send in a new team 

ih: Many college teams will look for all the world like the pros; É ed and elusive on offense, with a bunch of im 

‘gnable meat choppers playing defense. Because of this new | e selected a couple of specialists for our All-America 

am this year in addition to the traditional 11: a flankerback whose specialized skills set him apart from other backs, and a 
linebacker whose defensive know-how makes him a key performer on any successful team. 

Actually, unlimited substitution makes much more sense now than it did in 1948. High schools are turning out legions of 


guard, Miss; Harry Schuh, tackle, Memphis State; Allen Brown, end, Miss.; Jim Grisham, fullback, Oklo.; 
Archie Roberts, quarterback, Columbia. Center, Ito r: pLavsoy cheerleaders Teddi Smith and Lonnie Balcom. 


good prospects and even the small colleges can have a dormitory full of behemoths if 
they're able to get them past the enuance exams. With more players chan ever sharing die 
playing time there will be more action for the spectators and fewer injuries for the team 
Color, nostalgia and old loyalties are the ingredients that make college football games 
heady autumnal rites for most of us. And these elements, together with the faster and 
iter game made possible by the rules changes, are the only things that will save college 
football from the rapacious inroads of professional football 
Pro ball, as everybody knows, is booming. Alarmists among college football buffs have 
been crying wolf in the fear that pro football, like pro baseball, would devour its own 
young. Bill Reed, Commissioner of the Big Ten, was nearer reality when he told us, “Let 
the pros work their side of the street and we will work ours, and let die crossings be well 


THE 
ALL-AMERICA 
SQUAD 


(All of whom are likely to make 
someone's All-America eleven.) 
ENDS: Altenberg (UCLA), Jefferson 
(Utah) Thomas (Southern Cal), Jones. 
(Wisconsin), Shinn (Kansas), Sands 
(Texas), Cripps (Syracuse), Stephens 

(Alabama) 

TACKLES: Yearby (Michigan), Kearley 
(Alabama), Schwager (Norlhwest- 
ern), Shay (Purdue), Rissmiller 
(Georgia), Harvey (Mississippi), 
Neville (Mississippi St.), Lawrence 
(Yale) 

GUARDS: Burton and McQuarters 
(Oklahoma), Prudhomme (LSU), 
Branch and Croflcheck (Indiana), 
Pickens (Wisconsin), Hansen (II) 
CENTERS: Kelley (Ohio St.), Curry 
(Georgia Tech), Briscoe (Arizona), 
Henson (TCU), Watson (Mississippi 
St), Hanburger (N. Carolina) 
BACKS: Staubach (Navy), Sidle 
(Auburn), Mazurek (Pitt), Namath 
(Alabama), Schweickert (Virginia 
Tech), Stichweh (Army), Rhome 
(Tulsa), Morton (California), Timber- 
lake (Michigan), Barrington (Ohio 
St), Grabowski and Price (Illinois), 
Glacken, Curtis, Bracy (Duke), Roland 
(Missouri), Anderson (Texas Tech), 
Piper and Walker (Rice), Davis 
(Georgia Tech), Oupree (Florida), 
Bird (Kentucky), Granger (Miss. St.), 
lacavazzi (Princeton), Vaughn (lowa 
St), Nance (Syracuse), Qouglas and 
Coffey (Washington), Crain 
(Clemson), Murphy (Northwestern) 


ALTERNATE 
ALL-AMERICA 
TEAM 
ENDS: Bob Hadiick (Purdue) 
John Parry (Brown) 


TACKLES: Larry Kramer (Nebraska) 
Archie Sutton (lllinois) 


GUARDS: Rick Redman (Washington) 
Tommy Nobis (Texas). 

CENTER: Malcolm Walker (Rice) 
QUARTERBACK: Tom Myers 
(Northwestern) 


HALFBACKS: Gale Sayers (Kansas) 
Tucker Frederickson (Auburn) 


FULLBACK: Tom Nowatzke (Indiana) 
FLANKERBACK: Fred Biletnikoff 
(Florida State) 
LINEBACKER: Ronnie Caveness 
(Arkansas) 

SOPHOMORE BACK OF THE YEAR: 
Halfback Frank Antonini (Kentucky) 
SOPHOMORE LINEMAN OF THE YEAR: 
Center Don Downing (Navy) 


[a 9 |( 


marked, The prime danger to college football is not the losses we may sulfer at the gate, but that we will become so be- 
dazzled by the success of the pros that we let their values dictate the dilution of ours. After all, the two games are different 
institutions existing for different purposes. Pro ball is a part of the entertainment industry, purely and simply, and exists 
solely [or the purpose of making money. College ball is a function of the educational system and exists ideally for the same 
basic purposes as other amateur athletic. It does make money, and it docs entertain, but these are not its only reasons for 


existence. 

But the days of lily-white amateurism arc gone, and have been gone since the first university president discovered to his 
delight that proceeds from the sale of football tickets could not only build and maintain a fabulous athletic plant, but 
could finance a few new dormitories as well. They've been gone since the first alumni secretary discovered that alumni con- 
tributions rise and fall with the success of the football team. Let’s face it, despite the preceding statement by Commissioner 


Reed, football is big business. 

A good many years ago—when college football had a much larger streak of idealism than it has today, when football 
fans were a little easier to please, and when sportswriters were a great deal more poctie—Grantland. Rice wrote a litle 
poem that has become something of an American classic: 


When the One Greal Scorekeeper comes to write against your name— 
He marks—not that you won or lost—but how you played the game. 


But things have changed. A 1964 version of that verse would read: 


When the University Accounting Department compares yale receipts and cost 
1i matters—not how you played the game—but whether you won or lost. 


And now let's take a look at the teams around the country. We'll start the fun at the beginning (continued on page 178) 


COACH OF THE YEAR TOP TWENTY TEAMS 


JOHN VAUGHT " a 
Cates National Champion: MISSISSIPPI 9-1 


: | 2 Oklahoma Tho Kenss....- paps! A. Da E] 
| Syracuse. - - - 12 Mabama......... T3 
Washington -~ 13. Duke.. -1-3 Possible Breakthroughs: Wyo- 


Rice. 14. Kentucky- -1-3 ming, Southern Methodist, Mem- 
Aubum - 15. Georgia Tech E phis State, Florida State, Penn 
Arkansas.....-... 16. Indiana..........6-3 State, Boston College, Delaware, 
North Carolina . .. . -8-2 17. Michigan. ........63 Ohio U., Dhio State, Cincinnati, 
Nebraska. - ...82 18 UCLA. - eso B4 Virginia Tech, Arizona State, Utah 


Minois - ---.---.-T2 19. California ... 6-4 State. 


MIDNIGHT SPECIAL 


attire 


BY ROBERT L. GREEN 


This rich, lustrous dark- 
gray imported wool 
and silk sharkskin suit, 
here delineated in pop 
artstyle, isimpeccably 
impressive for late- 
night on-the-town 
wear, boasts a one- 
button jacket with a 
deftly defined waist, 
peak shawl lapel and 
side vents, plus trousers 
that feature adjustable 
waistband and quarter- 
top pockets, by Ra- 
leigh, $115. The strik- 
ing black-and-white 
Striped cotton broad. 
cloth shirt hes con- 
trasting solid-white 
medium-spread collar, 
double cuffs and box 
pleat back, by Aetna, 
$6, ond is tostefully set 
off by a black and gray 
diamond-pattem Ital- 
ian printed Silk neck- 
tie, by Handcraft, $5, 


[n jl 


l rea L 

lovely, talented 

miss september adds a 
touch of holland 

to hollywood 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILLI 


Playmate, has been in America only one 
year, she's already a rising starlet, and she's 
adopted her new homeland so thoroughly t 
it's difficult to tell her from a California native. 
Born and raised in Heemstede, Holland, quad- 
gual (Dutch, French, German, English) 
Astrid left home to pursue careers in acting, 
ing, finally arrived at her 
West Coast abode—which is permanent, she 
after jobs in Paris and London. Astrid 
1 ballet at the Sorbonne, performed pro- 
fessionally in light opera all across Europe and 
modeled in some of the best salons in London, 
but despite her international background and 
her impressive artistic credentials, she now en 
joys such. down-tocarth pursuits as watching 


PEDESTRIAN 
C FIC PROHIBITED 
~ WY 


Lote for rehearsal, Astrid hurries (left) to studio 
appointment with choreagrapher (obove] ta practice 
steps for her dancing role in Universal's The Art 
of Love. Below: Astrid plays o dozzling lody of 
pleasure [center] in Paramount's A House Is Not a 
Home. That's Shelley Winters (as Pally Adler) at left. 


LP aE 
` MSS SEPTEHBER riforma me mont Sak 
Ms AA. ERIS 


E 


A tireless water nymph, our Hollondoise sorceress 
{above} talks surf with Molibu beachboys ond 
(right) sooks up sun watching cohorts cotch the 
big ones. Below, noncquotic party includes gome 
of pass-the-orange (no hands ollowed) to which 
our Playmate opplies her consideroble talents. 


TV's The Outer Limits in her trim Santa 
Monica apartment, reading gothic chillers by 
the Brontés, acting weck nights in a Santa 
Monica little-theater group, and skindiving off 
nearby Catalina Island. With an eversoslight 
accent, brown-eyed Miss September told us she 
feels her given name (which means stellar) 
makes her destined for stardom—and she al- 
ready has two small movie roles to her credit: 
In The Art of Love, a Ross Hunter Universal 
picture, she plays a Mexican danseuse, and in 
A House ls Not a Home, a forthcoming Le- 
vine/ Paramount movie, she plays a Polly Adler 
minion. Though she never skied or surfed be- 
fore reaching these shores, Malibu regulars rate 
her above average in both. Living proof that 
good things can come in notsosmall packages 
(she stands 5/7" barefoot, weighs in at 120 sans 
bikini, arranged on a framable 36-23-36 frame), 
Astrid understandably has a wide range of 
es, prefers "the [un ones—honest and out- 
going guys who show me a happy time,” a 
job for which, needless to say, most honest 
and outgoing guys would gladly volunteer. 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


A fashion expert of our acquaintance pre- 
dicts that if stretch pants get any tighter, 


ad just finished her shower when the 

" g to the front door, 
g in plump, pink nudity, she called, 
“Who is it? 

“The blind man," came a mournful voice, 
so she shrugged and opened the door y 
hand while reaching for her purse with the 
other. When she turned to face the man, he 
was grinning [rom ear to car, and she saw that 
he was holding a large packape in his arms. 

“You can see!" she exclaimed 

"Yeah," he nodded happily. "And mighty 
pretty, too. Now, where do you want I should 
put these blinds?" 


Youre in remarkable shape for a man your 
age,” said the doctor to the 90-year-old man 
after the examination. 

“I know it," said the old gentleman. “I've 
really got only one complaint—my sex drive 
is too high. Got anything you can do for that, 
Doc?" 

"The doctor's mouth dropped open. "Your 
what?!" he gasped. 

"My sex drive," said the old man. “It’s too 
nd I'd like to have you lower it if you 


exclaimed the doctor, still un- 

able to believe what the 90-year-old gentleman 

ng. "Just what do you consider * 
"Ihese days it seems like it's all in my head, 

Doc," said the old man, * 

you lower it if you can." 


ing at a Russ 
cumbered by collar or leash 

How do you like America?” he asked. 
Well, irs different from my homeland, 
said the wolfhound. "In Russia, I eat bones 
dipped in vodka and caviar. In Russia I have 
my own doghouse made of rare Siberian 
woods. In Russia I sleep on a rug made of 
thick, warm ermine.” 

‘Then why did you come to America?” 

“I like to bark once in a while.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines conversa- 
tion piece as a girl men like to talk about. 


A {ool and his money are soon popular. 


The cute young tick thought she had a sure 
winner the other day at the track. The tote 
board listed her horse as starting at 25 to 1, 
and she knew the race didn't begin until 
one P.M. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines fairy as 
one who'd rather switch than fight. 


roared the husband, as he 
in bed with another man. 
her companion. 

"Sce?" she said. "I told you he was stupid!" 


ame upon his wife 
he wife smiled at 


Our Unabashed Dicti 
nurse as one who falls 


mary defines. practical 
love with a wealthy 


4 - 


din 


The next phase in the spa sure to 
make headlines: Scientists are planning to put 
300 head of cattle into orbit. Itll be the herd 
shot round the world. 


When a girl can read the handwriting on the 
wall, she's in the wrong rest room. 


Heard a good one lately? Send it on a postcard 
to Party Jokes Editor, vLAYBov, 232 E. Ohio St., 
Chicago, Il. 60611, and carn $25 for each joke 
used. In case of duplicates, payment is made 
for first card received. Jokes cannot be returned. 


“But will you love me after the novelty wears of)?” 


hat dispenses with the 
" Slovo 


food By THOMAS MARIO we smresr, most modern outlet 


for a bachelor's gourmet endeavors is 


e 110-volt one on the wall, Any 
able of breaking a 
rich concoction of egg yolks, butter and t: 


e Béarnaise sauce. A pillowy 


eragon vinegar, it's made in a 


blender i 


minutes, Just a few ye 
of job that daunted some professional chefs. The electric cord is not only 
a conductor to the loftiest culinary arts; it ically transform simple 
things like coffee. The man who ad Java knows that 
coffee beans should be ground minutes before they go into the pot. If you 
own a blender, you can grind freshly roasted coffee beans in 


back, however, it required the kind 


savors his Mocha 


I of 15 sec 


ond icular 


If you're p: bout the exact degree of pulverization you want, 
you can grind the beans in one of the new electric coffee mills. In either 


case, the brew and its aroma which follow will bring forth smiles of delight 


If you like to sip espresso or cappuccino, and you w 


forth their jet-black brew right into the waiting pitcher or demitasse cu 
Give the electric skillet credit for demolishing the old wheeze tha 

i ‘ood cooking requires sensitivity and pre- 
ics the professional chef's dream of the 
one that would heat evenly, hoard its heat with 
ge, and thy € the chef from the chore of 
continuous pan watching. The electric skillet or saucepan, now matured 
into the electric chafing dish, performs this feat infinitely better than any- 
g heretofore known in the potand.pan kingdom. Any cook who's ha 
delicate fare like oysters or frogs’ legs knows that prolonged heat at 
n them to heat will inhibit 


libe 


narrow temperature 


will tui 


a high temperat 
their flavors. By a mere lick of the dial, the electric skillet can be set to 
sauté them in a few minutes. Another setting will simmer them gently, and 
a third will keep them warm until the (continued on page 213) 


"Somebody here is smoking pot." 


LETTERS 


a poignant portrait of the 
star-crossed precursor of today’s 
beat writers: maxwell bodenheim 


nostalgia WEw BEN HECHT MAXWELL BODENHEIM was more di 


rs than any poet of whom I have ever heard or read. He was also more ignored 


iked, derided, denounced, beaten up 


and kicked down more flights of st 
than any literary talent of his time. 
His seven volumes of poetry fetched him hardly a thimbleful of notice. Not acclaim, but ordi 


ary notice 


ics. 


such as i ial bores who darken the lives of literary cri, 

Yes, my friend Bogie whos 
a total washout as a literary contender. His glowing metaphors seemed to remain invisible to the critics. And without 
critics to give a poet a leg up, he is likely to remain in limbo. No lecture dates, no college faculty jobs, no royalty 
checks. And, of course, no inv ons to the White House or other important showcases for the poetry writer. 

But J doubt whether poet Bodenheim ever daydreamed of such grand finales. From the time 1 first met 
him in his Chicago teens, Bogie had a mystic sense of himself as an unwanted one. No one asked him for lunch or 
sort oi unharnessed human. You watched him scampering around, and never thought of offering him 
ults. rows, thefts, and 


given the most inconseque 


work I admired more than the poetry of most of his famed contemporaries was 


dinner. He was 
shelter or the diversion of friendship. Besides, you knew what happened if you did—i 
complaints from the neighbors. 

lt wasn't true. Bogie was often a guest in my home. He revealed a few oddities that stood my 


teeth on 


edge. But 1 preferred him to the usual visitors, who droned through card games, or put me to sleep with political 
discussions. 
Another truth was Bogie’ 


Thank you lor inviting me to dine at your house," he wrote a well-to-do lady who fancied (continued on page 130) 


titude toward social invit 


ions. It pleased him immensely to turn them down. 


125 


fiction By J. P. Donle« 
three haunting allegories from the 
author of “the ginger man” 
YOUTH: WHEN I BROUGHT THE NEWS 


1 1HOUGHT 1 was going to be a millionaire. With morocco. 
bound books for looks everywhere. And even a drive that 
went for a mile through the trees and little lakes and lilies. 
So in my best serious face I stood in line for the job and told 
the nervous man I'd work very hard 


Every afternoon loaded down I sct off on the ou ints of 
town folding papers with a sleight of hand and flicking them 
across the gray porches. And even in an open window for a 
laugh which I thought I needed. And as I proceeded along 
this frontier road picking berries, grapes and peaches I said 
hi to the rival newspaper boy and told him he was underpaid 


and you'll never make the money I've made. But it was a lic. 


Because Friday 1 collected and most said come back tomor- 
row 


d 1 objected but turned my sad face away and mum- 
bled it was only a dime. And you'd think it was a crime every 
time I rang a doorbell and even those with chimes and added 
up the weeks they owed. In there they sit warm and re; 


ling, 
with smells of steak and pizza pie. Out here lips chapped with 
frost I might die, dancing on my cold toes. There's only so 
much I can stand, you savage hearts. 

But I was glad at times along here in the sun on these quiet 
roads where some buildings were built in the s 


out of trees 
s the clifls and hills and 


and ne: 
bridges 


the river. The green the g 


bent over the trains. Cool summer halls to click heels 


and spin down the stairs on my educated wrist. Noisy with 
the news. And deep in my own unsavage heart I loved nori 
better than delivery. 

And Saturdays in autumn afternoon kicking through the 


leaves I came to ring the bell and knock on the door and say 


I beg you pay me please. And the heads with after-lunch eyes 


came out too bea 


en to refuse. In my little book I marked. 
them paid and with some quiet charm of mine I nied to make 
them feel it was not the end of the world. And maybe there 
would be a new woman's page soon. Or a competition for 
a prize. 

But some heartless called me liar and lingerer. Napping 
under trees, banging on doors and a whistler in halls. I 
whispered something about freedom and they shouted don't 
come back no more and slammed the door. I walked away 


with young tears melting with despair, They'd all be sorry 


ristmas Eve shoele: 


when they found me nd starved, dead 
in the snow 

And weeks went by till one Sunday dawn in black winter 
I brought my pencil. I wrote across the front page now Does 
IF FEEL T0 CHEAT A CHILD. And tucked the paper carefully in 
the door. Monday creeping duough the streets 1 saw the 
raging 
on a porch shaking a fist which he said would break my head. 


es watching from windows everywhere and a man 


And fearful but forceful I told him drop dead. And ran. 
I prayed for spring when I could sing once more and steal 


the cooling cookie from a window sill. With the sun such a fat 


red thing up in the sky. And count my blessings instead of 
money. But things were sad instead of sunny when Mr. Brown 
screeched up in his sporty car. I wore my slack j 


w. He wagged 
a finger, confound you D, the News is deluged with com 
plaints. your public relations are a scandal, the customers 


YE MARTIN, PHILL RENAUO AND RICHARD TYLER 


PLAYBOY 


128 


claim you're a nuisance and a vandal 
and did you write how docs it feel to 
cheat a child? 1 did. Confound you D, 
don't you know the customer is always 
ight? Come along with me and apolo- 
ze. 1 said no. He said so, you're fired. 
Never to bring the news again. Or trap. 
a customer on the street or write my 
J across the front page. A failed 
jouaire with no morocco-bound 
books for looks anywhere. 


LOVE: PINS AND MEDALS 


SITTING BACK HERE with flowers on the 
curtains, cologne in the air and nkling 
music with all the comfort. 

My first real girlfriend I met not far 
from here by saying hello and she 
looked in my face for signs of disrespect. 
In her brown sweater and skirt and all 1 
wanted was to know her to go for a walk 
up and down the paths around the 
school. Where spruce trees grew in their 
blue tips to touch the windows and 
there were lite hills and mountains for 
miles around and lakes clear and magic. 
And TIL never forget her or when she 
touched me on the shoulder asking for 
company to come with her for cake and 
cola. I said sure. In her house I sat on 
the edge of my seat while she brought it 
. She stood in the middle of the floor 
and yawned. I put my mouth deep in 
the chocolate cake, cream and soft eat- 
ing. Otherwise I was shy worrying 
whether 1 said what she wanted. 

I whistled going home that afternoon 
and jumped up to sit om a mail cart 
thinking of her looks and waiting for 
the train. And later in our little nipping 
at love Y asked her with her handker- 
chief twisting in her hands to come to a 
dance. And arrived that evening in cool 
late spring, a bright tic to make my suit 
feel new. She was dressed in blue with 
s round her skirt a sort of endless 


A my 
feelings tied up inside me we stepped 
out from the shaky car of a friend saying 
hello to all the others under the maple 
trees. Down steps between palms to 
where the band was playing. I danced 
better than ever before, She was looking 
up at my face and sometimes putting 
hers on my shoulder. While they 
dripped candle wax to make funny 
bumps I tied to be talkative and tell 
her what 1 wanted to mean. When the 
rest went to a bar for drinks we sat alone 
in the back of the car waiting till she 
cigareue, lit it and threw it away 
Lowe were kissing. 

I never yone like her before 
except just once quickly somewhere and 
the next day we rushed back to her 
house hand in hand stopping only for 
six colas for the cake. By days we saw 
cach other in history class and lunchtime 
went to have milk and crushed egg 


issed 


ting on the gras. I threw my feet up 


carelessly anywhere while bi 
bread saying 1 failed everyth 
month but didn’t care. She said she 


wanted some sort of ring or pin of mine 
to wear. I gave her a medal I won throw- 
ing the weight. I was afraid to ask her 
for something. She showed me how nice 
my medal looked hanging around her 
tan neck. And going back through the 
breezy green corridors to class she said 
she couldn't let me have her sorority pin 


because it was too expensive. 1 went to 
physics where the teacher was always 


doing tricks like making things jump or 
go the other way. He called me sunshine 
boy because I sat by the window with 
my shoes off and 1 thought that when he 
made these explosions and sent stuff 
flying round the room we wcre just sup- 
posed to get a good laugh. I didn't hear 
him when he said it was magnetism and 
the atom 

One day as I stood in the sun outside 
school she came up to me and said she 
couldn't go out with me or see me Sun- 
day because she'd been asked up to Yale 


for the weekend. So I said well I better 
She said if 
She put her 
head up and bouncing all the brown 
curls of her hair, walked away. 

On my wa 


y here tonight when 1 got 
off the train to get the bus I saw her 
waiting with her hands folded on her di 
aphragm which went out like a shelf 
over her pregi I was so changed 
that when I stuck my face where I was 
sure she could sce it she just looked and 
that was all. Standing there in the chill 
near the cemetery the bus came. I 
thought watching the tall white tombs 
go by and she waddling through her 
motherhood that it was a pity I could 
not have come one night to her bed dur- 
ing the dark of these last few years. 


DEATH: A GRAVE 


1 Was ON MY BACK with a book at mid- 
innecticut. A storm fill 
Housatonic river and a fox barki 
the 
mountain of trees. They said on the last 
page that they buried Herman Melville 
on a rainy day in Woodlawn Cemetery 
on the outskirts of New York. 

Later in the month I got on the train 
and went to the city to visit. Through 
Danbury, Stanford and New Rochelle 
nd along the Bronx river where years 
ago they could sail a battleship. Now it's 
dammed, small and smelly from sewers. 
Lovers come down here in the summer- 
ume. And kids swim in the parts that 
are deep and twins once dived off a 
ledge and got stuck in the mud and nev- 
cr came up again. 

I went up the steps of the station, 
stood on the bridge watching the cars on 
the new highway. All that smoothness, 


comfort and curves. Roll you everywhere 
on the soft wheels. 1 went through the 
big iron gates and up into a cool stone 
mansion with quiet 
pleasant people. A young woman took 
me to a chair and table and went 
through the files. She came back with 
card and a map and drew a line along 
the winding avenues to an. X which she 
said was on top of a hill 

I strolled by all the marble, granite 
and bronze doors, late blossoms and 
lovely trees. In there richer than I am 
alive. A man in a gray uniform saluted 
and smiled. I climbed a little hill up 
fern-and-ivy-lined paths and stopped un 
der a great elm tree. There were four 
stones, onc with a scroll and feather pen. 
Through the trees I can see the mauso 
leums and the stained glass and doors 
for giants. And down there on the 
York Central racks the u 
ing by to Boston. 1 came here to see if it 
were true and it is. And as everywhere 
the gravestones say the voice that is si- 
lent the hand that is still or cvei 
Mabel I'll never forget you till wi 
gether again. 1 went reading and 
dering until 1 went out the gate again. 

A few blocks away I stepped i 
bar called Joe's. And sat up on a high 
stool and ordered a glass of becr during 
this dark afternoon. A smell of cheese 
oil and tomato pies. Some lazy jazz out 
of the jukebox. Behind the bar a man 
white sleeves neatly rolled up 
on tough hairy arms said I've seen you 
here before a few years ago maybe five 
or six, I remember your face. Yeah 1 re- 
member you, I never forget a face. G 
memory for faces. He brought me a 
of whiskey and another beer and said 
this is on me. When I left he said yeah 
TU see you again. 

I walked back to the stati and wait 
ed for the train. Others were going by 
bound north for suppers in the country 
swaying on the center tracks with lovely 
lighted windows, white napkins and 
fresh. evening newspapers. Some were 
um with red stripes. Once in a 
a woman would look at me from 
in to Chappaqua, Valhalla and 
ng. 

When I got back and drove along by 
the d: empty fields with round shad- 
ows of cedars and down my own lonely 
lane through the pines and further to 
ng in the woods I heard 
the Housatonic rumbling below and saw 
three deer standing in the headlights. 1 
had spareribs with onions and ler 
juice a bottle of beer. After that I 
wrote a letter to a man in Europe and 


typewriters and 


Will we all 
Be watering 


e later 
In Connecticut? 


I believe the new nurse is going to do wonders for him. 
He's already learned to count to two...” 


PLAYBOY 


130 


WEOBHIES48A. 


she was running a salon, "but 1 prefer 
to dine in the Creck restaurant at W 
bash Avenue and 12th Street where I 
will be limited to finding dead flies in 
my soup. 

Of his rapidly growing unpopularity 
n his youth, poet Bodenheim said, with 
mocking grin: 
"Nobody seems t0 
you think it is because I 
of peoples uny hearts 
stupidities2" 

“They are too aware of your big 
mouth.” L told him. "Why don't you 
uy ignoring their imperfections, after 
sundown?" 
born without your talent for 

said my friend Bogie. He 
h delight and whacked his 


like mc. Do 
m too aware 
id massive 


Despite the continuing, unvarying de- 
feats of his life, it is this strut T re 
member as Bogie's signature. Ignored, 
slapped around, reduced to beggarv, Bo- 
denheim's mocking grin remained fly 
in his private global war like a tattered 
flag. God knows what he was mocking. 
Possibly mankind. 

I may be writing of a Bodenheim with 
a special rou in my presence. He 
may have whined and wept elsewhere. 
But not the Bodenheim I knew. Disaster 
was never able to disarm him. Even the 
Greenwich Village moocher, hall-starved 
and ragged. remained proud of his a 
ty “to destroy people on my guillotine of 
phrases. Oh, boy, stick around and you'll 
scc some heads roll. 

Tt was not Sherwood's sort of self-love 
that kept Bogie abloom. It was his in- 
credible sense of superiority. In his last 

a ng drunkenly to sleep on 
tlophouse floors, shabby and gaunt as 
any Bowery bum, Bogic hugged his un- 
diminished riches—his poets vocabulary 
for winning arguments. 
He won nothing else. 

New York, after 1924, failed to alter 
him by a hair. He wrote of New York, 
The poverty of its ans cannot 
match the pathetic debris in the heads of 
s literary critics. 
ryone who met Bodenh: 
s cither irritated or outraged by him: 
nd frequently moved to take a swing at 
nose. Although poet Bodenheim 
l ability as a pugilist, it w. 
to attack him physically. He 
things. Bottles, chairs, vases, plates, ca- 
rafes, end tables started flying across the 
room. Such missiles always belonged to 
ggrieved host or hostess who had 
not even invited him. Bodenheim, in his 
lifetime, never owned a cup or saucer to 
aid him in combat. 

The poet a ted rafts of peo- 
ple who had never met him, but “had 
heard of him." They heard that on a 


in 


ash 


threw 


some 


o ali 


(continued from page 125) 


dance floor poet Bodenheim was certain 
enfold your wife or sweetheart 
in a lecherous grip, and insist that she 
go to bed with him, pronto. 

I never witnessed the spectacle of Bo- 
gie trying to drag a danci tner into 
the hay, and ending never in a bed, but 
hurtling headfirst out of a doorway. 
‘There may have been a grain or two of 
truth in such gossip. for the poet wrote, 
n our Chicago Lilerary Times: 

“Since the dubious dawn of human 
history, dancing h of the 
more adroit female ruses for the sexual 


to cut i 


stimulation of the male. A young woman 
who embraces a man while he is being 


sailed by primitive drumbeats and 
bacchanalian horn tootings, may pre- 
tend she is interested only in the tech- 
nique of dancing. 1 wonder if the same 
young woman, naked in bed with a man, 
would insist that she is only testing out 
the mattress. 

Another rumor had it that the poet ar- 
rived at studio parties carrying a burlap 
bag into which he transferred. speedily 
all the canapés and liquor bottles avail- 
able. I could verify this rumor, and also 
another onc—to come within earshot of 
the poet was to be derided stridently for 
any convictions you had about anything. 
‘These tales were to be heard in Bo. 


denheim 20s and 30s, bi 
fore he had matured into a Greenwich 
Village sot. He became, then, too pathet- 


k 


the nose or 


ic a fellow to punch i 
dow 

Only the police continued to beat him 
up. due to his defiance as a Communist 
orator. He would not climb down 
der from which he had been addressing 
a noon-hour audience of factory workers, 
or cease his oratory. 

The truth is that Bogie was the sort of 
Communist who would have been boot- 
ed out of Moscow, overnight. He insist- 
ed that communism was a cure-all for 
the miscries of the poor. Stalin and his 
selfless colleagues were toiling to create a 
utopia of peace on earth and good will 
to men. 

How can you be against the Russian 
politicians, as you call them," asked my 
friend, “when those alleged. politicians 
are doing exactly what Jesus Christ tried 
to do—eliminate war and tyranny from 
the life of mankind? Russia,” he smiled 
happily. “has rediscovered love and jus- 
tice, and is ready to turn the other cheek 
to the capitalistic bullies of the world. 
Yes, sirree, Moscow is the new Mount of 
Olive 

Bogie dreamed that in Stalin's Russia 
he would find all the good meals and 
sensitive understanding that he had 
been denied in the U.S. Lacking carfare 
to go have a look at his cornucopia land, 
he aired his fondness for it—with the 


usual Bodenheim results. He not only 
angered the police but disturbed, equal- 
, the Communist Party leaders of New 
York. They denounced Bodenheim as 
nuisance and refused to print his pro- 
letarian poems, gratis, in their Red 
periodical 


Why did a young man as talented as 

Max Bodenheim bring such a load of 
bricks down on his head, unul the d 
he had it, literally, blown off by a crazy 
's gun? I'll tell a few Bodenheim sto- 
that may partly answer the query. 
Bodenheim was, in his youth, a slim fel- 
low with blond hair, albino eyebrows 
over pale cyes, five feet. ten inches 
height. He had a lean, handsome fac 
and all his teeth. His clothes were shab- 
by but clean, and included in winter an 
American Army overcoat. He had joi 
the U.S. forces at 17 and been stationed 
a year in Texas, half of that time in the 
regimental guardhouse. He had been 
put behind bars for hitting a licute| 
over the head with his musket. The 
tenant had been ridiculing Private Bo- 
denheim as a Jew. 
Bogie carried all his worldly belong: 
gs with him. They were in the bulgi 
briefcase held under his right arm. 
this case were all his unpublished poems, 
an extra pair of socks and underpants, a 
spare tin of tobacco for his corncob 
rejection slips from the nation’s edito 
and a bottle of Tabasco sauce. 


edi 


e. 


Bodenheim journeyed to New York 
the salaried Eastern correspondent for a 
weekly paper I had started. called The 
Chicago Literary Times. He received 
$80 a week for his Gotham reports, and 
his name was on the paper's masthead as 
assistant. editor. I filled some 70 percent 
of the paper with copy, Bogie wrote 
most of the remaining 30 percent. There 
were a few intruders, among them Lloyd 
Lewis, Vincent Starrett, Wallace Smith, 
Rose Caylor George Grosz, 
Rosse, Stanislaus Szukalski. I wrote 
the paper of my edito 
"Maxwell Bodenheim, 
appearance, is the ideal lunatic. He is 
somewhat bowlegged and possessed of 
malicious palegreen eyes one associates 
with murderers. 
While engaged in arguments (he 
scemingly nothing clse to do) Boden 
heim improvises brilliantly. He accom- 
panies his razoredged epigrams with 
startling grimaces. He bares his tceth in 
sudden snorts. He clucks unexpectedly 
with his tongue, as if summoning a flock 
of chickens to enjoy his wit. He beats a 
tattoo with his right foot, and whacks 
triumphantly at his thigh. 
Excited by the withering fire power 
of his phrases, he starts bobbing his head 
(continued on page 220) 


u 


THE NUDEST 
PETER SELLERS 
AND 


THE NUDEST 
ELKE SOMMER 


a preview of the 
riotous nudist-camp 
romp in peter's 
new film with elke 
plus 
a pictorial review of 


miss sommer's 
sensual on- and off- 
Screen charms j 


132 


The most hilarious sequence of the Sommer-Sellers whodunit, “A Shot in the Dark,” is set in a nudist camp 
where murder suspect Elke seeks. refuge. Bumbling French police inspector Sellers trails her to the spot. 


THE NUDEST PETER SELLERS 


POR THOSE WHO FOUND Peter Sellers’ characterization of the stumbling block- 


head French police inspector Jacques Clouseau in The Pink Panther a tri 


umph of gumshoc ineptitude, the United Artists sequel, A Shot in the Dark 
should be the topping on the frappé, as it continues Peter's maladroit mas 
terminding. The teaming of Sellers with Germany's current sexpot titlist Elke 
Sommer makes the Blake Edwards-directed film a twofold treat, Well-packed 
parlor 


il Elke has been accused of murdering her swain from Spain. Sellers. 
d to the case through a departmental snafu, decides that no one that 


good-looking could have committed homme-icide, figures Elke is coveri 


assi 


g up 
for someone, Decked out as a balloon vendor, he flatfoots after Elke only to 
be picked up for peddling without a license. Resuming Ja chasse, he finds 


Elke standing over the very dead body of her employer George Sanders? 


dener with nothing more incriminating than bloody pruning shears in h 
hand. Still with implicit faith in Elke, Peter has her sprung from jail, shad 


ows her in a Toulouse-Lautree disguise. Another misunderstanding with the 
gendarmerie deposits him in the hoosegow. Sellers’ next 


aise in his pursuit 


of Elke is that of a hunter, and when he b; 


gs a crow in self-defense, the local 
it without a license. By the time A grimly game Sellers, on an Elke 


Elke has taken refuge in a counuy rcucat called Camp Runt, passes bemused nature girl. 


game warden claps him in irony for doing 


Sellers is rele 


He soon discove: dismay that he can't enter the camp without going native. Undaunted and unclothed, stiff- 
-lip Sellers sizes up the situation before making the best of a bare 


Studio technicians dig scene as Sellers asks information of sun worshiper who proves uncommunicative 
is a murder victim (something Seller 


Sellers, who has added a plastic raft aft, edges perilously close to lake's edge as he backs away from an undraped 
female. A step in the wrong direction dunks the distraught detective in the drink. As raft and guitar float away 
the hapless Sellers wonders how he can continue the search for the elusive Elke and still maintain his modesty 


nc. Vo Sellers’ discomfiture, it turns out to be a nudist camp. Here, Peter reluctantly settles for the haphazard cover-up 
of a guitar and plastic pool raft as he commences a bare hunt for Elke among the sun bathers. What he does stumble upon is 
another corpse (though he doesn't realize it at the time). When he eventually finds Elke, after a series of dishabilled disasters, 
the (so of them just manage to avoid the Jaw called in for the latest murder. "There's no time for clothes as they drive au 


naturel through the streets of Paris, returning to George Sanders nsion just in time to discover yet another corpse. This 
is the last straw for Sellers’ superior, who takes him off the case vitement and banishes him to Le Havre. Sellers’ exile is short 
lived. however; his superior has second thoughts and reassigns him to the case. Sellers’ first move is to have Elke, now in pris 
on, released to join him for dinner. A nightclub tour results in four more murders as an assassin out to get Sellers keeps 
bungling the job. Our defective detective, blithely unaware of the carnagi s Elke back to his apartment for a tryst, but 
it’s bonjour wyst as a time bomb explodes under his bed, shattering the mood. Undaunted, Sellers assures his chief, by now 
manacle depressive, that he's about to crack the case, gathers together a half-dozen suspects in the Sanders mansion. The di 
nouement that follows is too wildly improbable to let Le chal out of the bag. Suflice to say that Peter as a fli is superbly 
i 1 and Elke as a domestique formidable is incomparably sexational. 


Our intrepid inspector decides to press on regardless, In this corner, wearing nought but tree trunks, Sellers tries 
ick out the Sommer anatomy from among the unfettered naiads parading before him. The perceptive power 
that have made him the farce of the force fail to detect a delectably unclad Elke on the other side of the bush. 


Sellers’ balloon-sharp sixth sense tells him Elke is near at hand. She finally reveals herself to him when, zut alo 
the camp swarms with gendarmes summoned. because of the murder. Sellers believes Elke is a misjudged m 
helps her escape, then joins her in a wild car ride, au naturel, that takes them through the streets of Paris. — jas 


THE NUDEST 
ELKE SOMMER 


HoLLywoop has been frenctically 
searching around the world for a 
sexpot who will provide its cash 
registers with the same healthy ring 
in the Sixtics that Brigitte Bardot 


and the late Marilyn Monroe im- 


parted to them in the Fifties. It now 
believes that relief is finally in sight 
in the form of a handsomely con- 
figured Fräulein, Elke Sommer. 
Born in Germany not much more 
than a score of years ago, Elke has 


blossomed into an international at 


traction. The fastrising and fast 
driving (shes used to touring 
Europe's speed-limitless highways at 
well over the century mark) Elke 
got her first break while on vacation 
in Italy. She was spotted by some 


one who called himself a movie 


producer and who, contrary to what 


mothers warn their little girls about 


turned out to be a movie producer. 
A series of European flickers fol- 
lowed (including one directed by 
Vittorio De Sica) in which Elke was 
given an ample opportunity to dis 
play almost all of her amply en- 
dowed (3623.37) frame. Hollywood 
producer Pandro Berman caught her 
statuesque symmetry in a German 
film, The Girl, and realized that she 
was the girl to play Paul Newman's 
Swedish skoalmate in The Prize. 
That did it. Her Prize performance 


Drought her a. revealingly ripe part 
in Carl Foreman's The Victors, 
where she more than held her own 
among the fast female company of 


Melina Mercouri and Romy Schnei 


Her face (a hypnotic blend. of 
gamine and tigress) and figure 
(a sensuous delight) are Elke 
Sommer's fortune, Elke's natural 
beauty is such that movie moguls, 
in attempting to give her the 
Hollywood “glamor” treatment, 
were hard-pressed to find flaws to 
correct, wound up making minor 
repairs on two teeth, slightly 
changing the color of her hair 
(the styling remains her own). 


The delectable charms of Elke that most. American movie audi- 
ences have yet to see are displayed here in sequences from two 
European films that helped catapult her to Continental fame. 
Scene below is from et Ecstasy," a tale of wealthy Bur 

pean youth living la dolce vita on the French Riviera, A torrid 
love bout (one of several in the film) with Christian Pezy, 
which takes place on a yacht, is part of a daylong roundelay of 
orgiastic revels that almost. ends in tragedy when boat burns. 


“Daniella by Night,” made several years ago, ha 


yet to be shown in the 


the producers won't 


allow it to be run without the above sequence; 


American cens 


t on the scene's deletion. 


in the controversial sequence, Elke is forced into a unique striptease, as a pair of cloak-and-dagger types, in search 
of microfilmed secret plans, undress her on the stage of a Roman peclery. The divestiture is accomplished behind a 
transparent curtain which does little to hide what is undoubtedly filmdom's friskiest frisk. The night-club audience 
thinking it's a new act, gives the uncovering undercover men and unwilling ccdysiost Elke a round of applause 


der. Now very much a part of the Hollywood scene, Elke is 
comfortably wrapped in a threepicure MGM contract that 
will bring her approximarely a quarter of a million doll 
Along the road to stardom she has managed to raise a number 
of roofs over her head—a $300,000 mansion in her home town 
of Erlangen, Germany, a villa in Spain, an apartment in 
Switzerland, and a house she rents in Beverly Hills for a mod- 
est S900 a month. One of Tinscltown’s most eligible bachelor 
girls, Elke belies the cliché image of the bubble-brained beauty: 
she knows Latin, Greek, French, English, Spanish and Italian, 
has more dian a passing acquaintance with Homer and Plato, 
Goethe and Schiller. 4 Shot in the Dark and the upcoming 
The Unknown Battle, in which she co-stars with Tony Perkins 
and Stephen Boyd, should prove to be two important rungs up 
the filmic ladder. Miss Sommer, with a firm resolve that has 
characterized her movie career, is striving to bring her acting 
ability up to her screen sensuality. Few who know her artistic 
capabilities (she’s a passable painter and a composer who has 
recorded her own songs), and strong-willed determination, have 
any doubts that she will make it. And when Elke, who has no 
objection to shedding her clothes for the cameras. emerges as 
the compleat movie star, the super sex symbol of the Sixties 
may well have arrived 


A 


Monobikinied Elke, right, was completely nude for scene 
with George Hamilton in “The Victors,” above right, that 
was shown only in Europe. Segment was reshot with Elke 
in bra and Levis, above left, for the American market. 


142 


fiction 
BERTRAM AND THE NETWORKS BY DANIEL A. JENKINS 


he had a heady appetite for women, whiskey and other fringe benefits of the full 
life, and beneath the bland exterior he hatched a wicked plot to get them—gratis 


AS THE SUPER CHIEF APPROACHED LOS ANGELES on its overnight run from Santa Fe, Bertram Bascomb Baylor sat in 
the club car thoughtfully sipping some 25-year-old Scotch that had been placed aboard for his convenience by 
the press department. of the Federal Broadcasting Company. United Broadcasting had arranged for Bertram's 
train accommodations (he had a thing about flying) and it had behooved Federal to get in there fast with a 
little judicious care and feeding of its own. 

Bertram, whose syndicated television column, Inside the Eye, appeared in 226 papers, lived in and worked 
st Pecos, New Mexico, a somewhat preposterous place for any kind of columnist unless he happened 
thy wife who liked it there. Marigold Hartley Benson Hosthwaite Spencer Baylor was wealthy and 


out of 
to have a wi 
liked it there. So much for that. 

Such being the case, Be comb had fallen into the pleasant habit of making annual trips (he would 
never call them pilgrimages) to New York and Hollywood, subsidized in annual turn by the three major net- 
works. His daily column was a model of pedanuy, edged with that tiny but effective bit of steel that indicated he 
knew where 17 different bodies were buried and was not above digging any or all of them up. Tallish, 
sh and high of brow, he had twice testified as to the state of television before Senate committees and had 
ck through the expense vouchers and ask why so much money had 


twice caused three network presidents to che 
been spent in keeping Mr. Baylor “happy. 

People who didn’t have to curry favor with Bertram Bascomb generally referred to him 
‘The rare comedy show he found to his liking was invariably pronounced “enormously funny 
had it made unless Baylor gave it the accolade “enormously moving.” 
something of a contradiction in qualities, possessing those which ordinarily didn't 
agle individual and which, in fact, d too well in Bertram. He was a self-styled intellec- 
tual, having been brought up on Edgar Guest, Rudyard Kipling, Sinclair Lewis, Maxfield Parris nn St 
television could and must be improved and that he, Bertram 
Bascomb Baylor, was its appointed savior. At the same time, he had a large and well-developed appetite for whis- 
key, women and other people's expense accounts, bolstered by an equally large ego. 

Aboard the Super Chief, Scotch in hand, Bertram was reading ipt called The Lonely Vigil, written by 
Bertram Bascomb Baylor. It had to do with a fisherman patiently waiting for a fish and there was more than a 
slight resemblance in the story, if not in the writing, to Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sca. Yt was die 
kind of thing Bertram would like to have seen as the traditi opening episode of Omnibus every season, had 
He considered it, in fact, four notches better than Amahl and the Night Visitors. 
Besides, it had only the one character and was written in blank verse. He had discussed its outline with Sen- 
ator Brazwell and the Senator had been keenly enthusiastic. He hadn't read it, but he liked it. 

Just as he was about to accept an Emmy as the creator-producer-writer of Omnibus Revisited (“1 am enor- 
mously moved . . .”), Bertram was roused by the tap of the conductor's hand on his (continued. on page 200) 


a pompous ass. 
ind no drama 


uss 


and Guy Lombardo. He was firmly convinced ti 


Omnibus still been on the 


PAUL DAVIS 


“In these small towns everybody knows everybody else's business!" 


144 


Ribald Classic 


THE WILY DECEPTION OF WASIL 


AMONG THE CITIZENS of Iwangorod was 
one named Wasil, a man of high sexual 
appetite who one day found himself 
lusting after Sophie, wife of Stanislaus. 

Now, consumed by this lust, he began 
frequenting those places where she might 
be found, and, at length, he approached 
her and made clear the nature of his 
interests. 

Upon hearing this, Sophie slapped 
him upon the face. 

"I am the property of my husband,” 
she declared haughtily. "Go, therefore, 
and think of me in this manner no 
mor 


Wasil did go, but he thought of her 
often and at great length; finally, he 
came upon a plan by which he hoped 
to enjoy her. 

She claimed to be her husband's prop. 
erty. he reasoned: therefore, it would be 
the choice of the husband whether that 
property would be retained for his own 
use or made available to others. 

Having med thusly, and planned 
accordingly, he sat himself down and 


penned a note to the husband. Stanis 
The note was written in a very 
ic and flowery hand, and signed 
with the name of Wasil’s wife, Doris. It 
read as follows: 


My darling Stanislav 
the passion that 


So great is 


me when- 
ever I think of you that I can con- 
trol myself no longer; meet me this 
evening behiud my house and we 
can surrender ourselves to the deli- 
a cach 
nd will 
not. Lov- 


cs d 


cious ecstasies that await us i 
other's embrace. My husl 
be afar from here so fe: 
ingly, Doris. 


At dawn Wasil himself delivered the 


a 16th Century Polish tale 


led 
and spoke: 

"I know not what this is about, but 
my wife asked me to deliver it to you 
as I left this morning. 1 am about to 
depart for Warsaw.” 

Stanislaus read the note and, cheer- 
fully noting that the foolish Wasil had 
lent credence to it with his comments 
about leaving for Warsaw, resolved to 
keep the engagement. 


an envelope, to Stanislaus 


That evening there was a sound out- 
side sil. When Doris 
asked what it might be, Wasil—who, 
naturally, had not left for Warsaw 
nor planned to—suggested that she 
investigate. 

Outside, she saw Stai 
time he saw her. M 


the house of W 


the 


laus at 


sa 
expression of surprise for one of a 
he seized her and tossed her violently to 
the ground. She screamed and resisted 
him, but he assumed that this was part 
of her pretense—as many women are 
wont to carry on in this manner at such 
a time —and proceeded to take the pleas: 
ures he thought were his due. 


Now, it was not until the screaming 
subsided thar Wasil made his appear- 
nce on the porch, by which time the act 
had been completed. 


“What proceeds here?" he asked. 

"Stu raped me, 
replied in some confu: 
ideed!” boomed Wasil, feigning in- 
dignation. “Is this the w 
to act?" 

"But, Wasil . . .” protested St 

“Why, this very m aw you 
and you greeted me with a smile! Who 
would think, you base scoundrel, that 


laus the wife 


n. 


p 
- 
" v 


you pl 
night! 

“But, Wasil . . 

"Enough!" thundered Wasil. "No 
more of your sniveling. You have violat- 
ed the code of our fathers, and I must 
take my legal remedies accordingly.” 

“Legal remedies?” 

“You have taken my wife, Stanislaus; 
now it is fated that I take yours.” 

“I have never heard such a code," 
said Stanislaus; and, indeed, there was 
none such in existence. 

“Do you blame me for your stupidity: 
rejoined Wasil. “Come, now; we must go 
to your house and I shall claim my re- 
venge. Or would you prefer to lose your 
head instead of your wife's services?” 

Stanislaus, knowing how the towns- 
people looked upon such acti 
raping another man's wife, and having 
no doubt that Wasil would chop off his 
head should he not get his way—for Wa- 
sil was known to be a strong man and 
one of violent temper—consented to the 
arrangement; whereupon, he brought 
Wasil to his wife. 

“l now have your husband's permis- 
sion to take my pleasures with you," 
Wasil told her. "Do you submit willing- 
y, or shall 1 resort to force?" 

“Go along with him, d 
islaus with some misgivings. "It is ac- 
cording to the code of our fathers." 

Thus encouraged by her husband, 
Sophie submitted to Wasil's advances 
with surprising alacrity, and the two 
dallied together till the cock did crow. 

If there be a moral to this, it is: Be 
you not deceived by the code of the 
fathers, unless it serve you and not a 
lowly knave like Wasil the Pole. 


—Relold by Paul J. Gillette Ba 


anned to rape my wife that very 


as 


said Stan- 


145 


BIG MAN 


ON eui 
CAMPUS 


altire By ROBERT L. GREEN 


9 T 


Sad 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY J. BARRY O'ROURKE / STARRING CHARACTERS FROM THE SECOND CITY 


Are YOU the kind of fellow who comes in SECOND IN A ONE-MAN RACE? Are you 
SICK AND TIRED of waiching FASHIONABLE FRAT MEN beat your time with the KEEN 
COEDS? Joe was. A social and sartorial DOOR MAT, he used to take it lying down (left) 
when fellow frosh BIRD-DOGGED DATES from under his nose. How he envied their 
QUADSIDE MANNER—and their GIFT FOR GARB. FOOTBALL FREDDIE makes points in 
brushed-wool cordigan, by Lord Jeff, $17; tapered broadcloth shirt, by Hathaway, $9; 
cotton corduroy slacks with frontier pockets, by Contact, $7. At center, DAPPER 
DAN is bedecked in wool jacket with hacking pockets, side vents, by Cricketeer, $40; 
wool worsted cavalry-twill slacks, by Corbin, $21. NATTY NED, right, sports wool 
tweed jacket with hacking pockets, side vents, coordinated slacks, by Madisonaire, 
$59.50; cotton oxford shirt with box-pleat back, by Sero, $7. Above: ALL WET FASHION- 
WISE, Joe wishes he were os tastefully—and dryly—dressed as: SUAVE SAM [front 
left}, in water-repellent fly-front coat with bal collar, split shoulder, zip-on hood, Orlon- 
pile collar and lining, by Tricon, $50, sueded deerskin gloves with pile lining, by 
Daniel Hays, $8; RAH-RAH RALPH (row 2, left) in wool parka with zip front, draw- 
string weist and hood, slash pockets, by Fox Knapp, $20; HANDSOME HARRY (center) 
in wool stadium coat with detachable zip hood, patch-flap and slash pockets, 
Orlon-pile lining, by McGregor, $45, mohair hat, by Cap Crafters, $10; JAUNTY JACK 
(right) in double-breasted alpaca coot with leather buttons, satin lining, by Mar- 
shall Ray, $55, velour felt hot with hemp band, by Champ, $12; third-row ROOTER 
in bumt-green corduroy jacket, reversible to red-green-black plaid, by Zero King, $45. 


Although we can't guarantee that 
prayboy's annual campus fashion 
feature will bring you fame instead of 
shame (as in the accompanying photo 
story), we're willing to warrant that if 
you heed this guide, your peers, especial- 
ly the fair sex, will regard you as a Big 
Man On Campus. 

To begin with, potential B.M.O.Cs, 
ready to enter another academic year, 
will be glad to know that, more than 
faddishness in 


ever, lions is being 
supplanted by function: With the avant- 
garde taking a giant step to the rear, 
good taste joined by utility will help 
shape a virile and handsome wardrobe. 
Part 


ularly heartening to freshmen and 
transfers heading into unfamiliar terrain 
is the knowledge d 
making up their difference 
way to a compatible acros 


regional trends are 
ad giving 
the-country 


147 


INEXCUSABLY ATTIRED, Joe is SHUNNED by his STYLE-WISE roommates. Hitting the 
books, they're informally but IMPECCABLY GARBED in (left to right): multicolor box- 
plaid tapered cotton shirt with buttondown collar, box-pleat back, by Aetna, $7, and 
oyster-white wrinkle-resistant cotton twill tapered trousers with extension waistband, 
Western-style pockets, by Levi Strauss, $7; bold-striped tan and navy link-stitch six- 
button wool cordigon, by Brentwood, $18, and gray reverse-twist wool trousers 
with belt loops, side pockets, noncurl waist, by Asher, $16; burgundy-toned imported 
V-neck wool pullover sweater with black-stripe trim, reversible to solid block, by 
Jontzen, $35, and navy wool worsted flannel trousers with belt loops, side pockets, 
by YMM, $16. Meanwhile, seeking solitary consolation with a copy of EVERYONE'S 
FAVORITE MAGAZINE FOR MEN, Joe happens onto o FATEFUL FASHION FEATURE. 
“By George, that's itl” he expostulates, dazzled by visions of a MIRACULOUS TRANS- 


18 FORMATION from Sad Sack to Sartorial Cynosure. SEE NEXT THRILLING CHAPTER. 


profile; while desirable touches of in- 
dividuality remain in many arcas (most 
often influenced by climate), collegiate 
duds throughout the nation are becom- 
ing more notable for their similarities 
than for their disparities. This ycar's 
campus fashion forecast is divided into 
two parts—the first describing those ap- 
parel items acceptable on any campus in 
, the second predicting those 
ons that will appear in this 


the count 


style 
country's six geographic regions. 
Setting the pace for a consistent cam- 


MENO 


Feeling the DYNAMIC, RED-BLOODED VITALITY of new-found SELF-CONFIDENCE surg- 
ing into his SCRAWNY 97-POUND FRAME, a vital, virile JOE COLLEGE stands straight 
and tall before the fitting mirror, PROOF POSITIVE that clothes can make the MAN. 
The embodiment of URBANE UNDERSTATEMENT, Joe's ready for all coed comers in 
his DANDY NEW DUDS: dark-olive midweight Dacron-Avisco-rayon suit with natural 
shoulders, three-button front, flap pockets, center hook vent, belt-loop trousers 
with side pockets, by Sagner-Northweave, $50. Green and gold rep tie (by Wembley, 
$2.50) suggested by salesman will complete ensemble. This latter worthy is himself 
no less FASHIONABLY OUTFITTED in black-and-white glen-plaid wool suit with ox- 
blood overplaid, natural shoulders, three-button front, flap pockets, center vent, 
matching vest, belt-loop trousers with side pockets, by Michaels-Stern Ph.D., $85; 
ivory-and-block woven silk tie, by Beau Brummel, $3.50; and imported white cot- 
ton broadcloth shirt with medium-spread collar, barrel cufis, by Excello, $9. 


pus silhouette is the blue blazer, which 
willbe the number-one sportswear choice 
of college men everywhere; sharing 
universal acceptance are contrastin 
flannel trousers (we recommend 
pairs), followed closely by 

nos (three or four pairs). Several oth 
items in the under drobe— 
notably dress outerwear, dress shirts, din- 
ner jackets, shoes and accessories 
Topping these 


oft is the topcoat; fashion-wise collegians 


little from coast to coast. 


will take along a couple (particularly in 


149 


150 pockets, hook vent, by Sagner, $3: 


That night at the BIG FRAT PARTY: "Here's something I owe you, Dexter Dwillingham Ill, 
CAMPUS BULLY, SMARTY PANTS ond JADED ROUE!” cries OUR MASTERFUL HERO, 
launching his best SUNDAY PUNCH. “SIGH,” breathes Dexter's EX-steady, at right. 
“Let's get out of here and slip into something comfortable, JOE, DARLING: 


apartment!" “Holey Moley, what a SWELL SUI murmurs male bystander. 

CAT'S MEOW, all right," another whispers, his TASTEFULLY TAILORED glen-plaid 
wool suit with three-button front, hook vent, flap pockets, matching vest, by Cricketeer, 
$70." “Golly gee, you're REGULAR FELLOWS,” blurts Joe, “and | must say, you're look- 
ing PREITY SPIFFY yourselves—you there, young Biff. Armstrong, far left, in your wool 
ith flap-petch pockets, hook vent, by College Hall, $37.50; cotton broadcloth 
buttondown, by Manhattan, $6; wool check tie, by Rooster, $2.50; and yes, even you, 
ne'er-do-well Reggie Fortesque, far right, in your metal-buttoned wool blazer with flap. 
ind cotton twill buttondown shirt, by Aetna, $6." 


blazer 


Northern schools; one will do for the 
South), choosing from among gabardine, 
tweed balmacaan, reversible nweed/gab. 
ardine, or camel’s hair for casual wear, 
while dress-up occasions suggest a dark 
toned semifitted fly-front Chesterfield, 
a traditional herringbone cheviot in da 

gray, or a double-breasted camel's hair. 
Rainy-day alternates can be a natural, 
oyster or tan poplin raglan raincoat 
(with zipin liner for cool climes) and 
a black poplin, while 
jaunts to nearby big c 


kend winter 
and year-end 


Now occlaimed os BMOC (Best-dressed Mon On Compus), Joe flexes his right eyebrow in the UNRETOUCHED photo obcve, sur- 
rounded by a KINGLY CACHE of bock-to-compus porophernalia. Friends, this veritoble TREASURE TROVE con be yours, too—that's 
right, we said YOURS. Just poss this page oround omong your WELL-FIXED lody friends ond let them hove o BALL with it. Clock- 
wise from Joe {clod here in cable-knit wool sweater, by Lord Jeff, $21.50; Zontrel cotton twill slacks, by Contact, $6): Vespa 150, with 
5é-mph cruising speed, runs 100 mpg, by Vescony, Inc, $439; leother wet peck, with Kenanga lining, from Rigoud, $37.50: toxi trunk, 
from Mark Cross, $110; imported cone umbrello, from Dunhill, $15; shetlond-wool ploid mufller, $5; russet mohoir-blend scorf, $6, both 
by Fondcraft; rilroble wolnut bookrest, with stoinless-steel page holders, from Hommacher Schlemmer, $14.95; lomp, with swivel-ormed 
2X mognifier for detoil work, by Tensor, $23.50; cordless shaver, with three-month botteries, from Dunhill, $25.95; Jeother game box, with 
corved-wood chess set and boord, from Mork Cross, $136; The World of Love, definitive 2-volume reference work, published by George 
Braziller, $17.50; 22-0z. Femlin-frescoed ceromic coffee mug, by Ployboy Products, $5; deluxe-edition Webster's New International 
Dictionary, $47.50; block-lizord rodio, from Mark Cross, $57.95; leather toilet cose, from Dunhill, $29.50; English-worsted belt, by Can- 
terbury, $4; silk hondkerchiefs, from Handcraft, $2.50 each; lightweight portoble typewriter, pico or elite type, by Royol, $109.95; bon- 
tom cortridge tope recorder, by Westinghouse, $69.95; red ploid cotton shirt, by Von Heusen 417; brown-white cotton ploid shirt, by 
Monhotton; cotton oxford shirt-jocket, by Aetno, cll $é eoch; flightweight vinyl luggage, with keyless combination locks—five suiter, 
$65; one-suiter, $42.50; briefcose, $37.50, all by Ventura; precision zoom binoculars, single zoom control, from Edmund Scientific, $56.10; 
Polimatic Spectcculors sunglosses, with odjustoble rheostat-type light-to-dark lenses, by Renould, $15; clock rodio, with timer outlet for 
coffeemoker, etc, by Heothkit, $29.95; Miriam Makebo's The Voice of Africo, RCA; The Second Borbra Streisand Album, Columbic, 
both on stereo lope, $7.25 eoch; 9-inch Ponosonic TV set, battery or A.C. operated, from Hommacher Schlemmer, $199.95; automatic- 
threading, 3-speed, 4-trock stereo tope recorder, with cutomotic reverse permitting ploy on both sides without rewind, by Ampex, $499. 


PLAYBOY 


homecomings will require a flyfront 
wool overcoat with pile or fur lining. 

Although buuondown shirts arc still 
the correct style for dress, a couple of 
tab collars or the newer buttonless but- 
tondowns (worn with a collar pin) 
should fill out a collection of from 18 to 
24. Blue and white are the dominant sol- 
id shades, but stripes are running wild 
and we're confident that even such wilder 
hues as yellow and pink will be appreci- 
ated. The only rule in neckwear concerns 
width: Give your pencilnarow ties, if 
you still have any, to your kid brother 
and take along a dozen of the slightly 
wider (254 to 234 inches) cravats. Vivid 
rep stripes are still popular this ycar, as 
are classic wool challis and foulards. To 
complete your initial assortment, balance 
these with a standard black knit, some 
elegant club stripes in the small size and 
a couple of ancient madders, leav 
e on your tie rack, however, for later 
additions from the campus haberdasher. 

For those B. M. O. Cs whose names 
adorn many debutante invitation lists, 
s no question that buying, rather 
n renting, a dinner jacket or two 
is the proper step; however, even lesser 
campus lights enjoy the luxury of swing- 
ing off for an occasional weekend with- 
out the usual last-minute rental-agency 
bother. The greatest advantage of own- 
ing your own formalwear is that it will 
be tailored to fit you alone. The classic 
natural-shoulder black-satin shawl collar 
jacket is de rigueur, with the white 
shaw] collar jacket a commendable al- 
ternate for spring and summer. 

For comfortably correct stepping ont 
in any part of the country, we recom- 
mend a half-dozen pairs of shoes, se- 
lected from among brown cordovan 
plain-toe bluchers, classic loafers, desert- 
type boots, black slip-ons, grained wing 
ups and deck or tennis shoes. A record 
of heavy snowfall in your area will, of 
course, require ski or rough hide boots. 
Your doz ind-a-half pairs of socks 
should include dark stretch nylons, 
white and dark crew socks, and over-the- 
calf dark ribbed Orlons. 

As the popularity of Continental-type, 
loopless trousers wanes, the importance 
of belts increases. Since fabric belts are 
still acceptable, take along a couple from 
last year; but we prefer the trim appear- 
ance of one-and-a-quarter-inch alligator 
belts in brown or black for dress, while 
for everyday use, we give the nod to 
beefy harness leather or web styles. You 
can fill out your collection of a half- 
dozen belts with a dull calf and a sub- 
dued pigskin. Regardless of your school’s 
climatic conditions, you ought to buy a 
pair of clegant leather gloves to coordi- 
nate with your dress topcoat; frosty 
weather will require, in addition, a 
couple of pairs of woollined gloves 

Whether or not you plan to parti 


"B 


152 pate in campus pajama parties, we sug- 


gest that you be prepared with three 
pairs, at least two of them wash-and- 
wcar cottons, the third, a warm knit or. 
flannel (even in the South). A pair of 
robes in different weights—washable cot- 
ton or lightweight wool and heavy terry 
or heavy wool—will also be useful. 

The walkshort look will be fashion- 
able this academic ye: ath- 
er warrants it: A minimum collection of 
four pairs, increasing in number the 
farther South you go, should be built 
around madras, white ducks, cords and 
wash-and-wear poplins. A check list of 
accessories applicable to any school in 
the U.S.A. includes odd vests you may 
have, 18 sets of underwear, a dozen hand- 
kerchiefs, a pair of slippers, shower clogs, 
six pocket squares, formal cuff links and 
studs, toilet kit, pocket secretary, leather 
wallet, colognes, shaving lotions and a 
couple of ascots. 

Notwithstanding the national trend to- 
ward homogeneity in apparel this school 
year, there are still subtle—but stylishly 
important—dificrences among this coun- 
try’s collegiate regions. These distinctions 
apply primarily to suits, sweaters, sports- 
wear and hats, all discussed in the per- 
tinent scctions that follow. 

THE NORTHEAST: The three-button 
uralshoulder suit still reigns su- 
preme on campuses from Harvard Square 
to Brooklyn College (and elsewhere 
throughout the U. $. A), the only change 
from last year being that dark shades are 
no longer mandatory. A balanced selec- 
ion of four suits will include a navy 
worsted, medium-gray sharkskin, tan or 
brown cheviot herringbone and a renas- 
cent Donegal tweed, clay-colored Shet 
land or natural gabardine. (Vests are 
optional with the light shades.) The cor- 
rect leisure accent begins with the oblig- 
atory blue blazer and goes on to pale, 
bold-patterned tweeds, camel blazers 
nd, for the warm months, lightweight 
seersucker jackets. Ten pairs of coordi- 
nating slacks—semidress and casual— 
may be chosen from among dark- and 
mediumgray flannel, olive hopsack, 
chino, whipcord and cavalry twill, with 
dark corduroys and washable whites ris- 
ing in favor this scason among campus 
'esetters. 

Predictably frigid winter months i 
New England and the mid-Adantic 
states will require, in addition to your 
overcoat and topcoat, a full comple 
ment of casual outerwear. A quilted ski 
parka, short Ioden dufiel coat and mam- 
moth plaid jacket will put you in warm 
shape for anything from quadside snow- 
ball fights to gridiron gatherings, while a 
lightweight tan poplin golf jacket will 
keep the nip in the air during autumn 
woodland walks. For under-the-parka 
comfort, or a welcome touch of color on 
brisk spring mornings, take along an as- 
sortment of six sweaters including a 
couple of V-neck pullovers, a crew neck, 
a cardigan and a boat neck. Cotton and 


wool jersey turtleneck pullovers in solid 
shades of white, black and blue will be 
providing a rakish underthe-sportshirt 
look—speaking of which, we suggest a 
half-dozen sport shirts in solid knits, ma- 
dras plaids, bold stripes and dark solids. 

The top of the male profile will be 
capped with a wide variety of headgear 
in the Northeast: Ivy Leaguers will be 
at their dressed-up best in center-crease 
felts with raw or welt edges in olive, 
Bray or mustard tan. For between-classes 
wear, the poplin in hat is still a fa 
vorite, as is the knitted toque for ski 
weekends and snow festivals: for a 
casual topper with a little more flair, 
take along a velour or weed cap. 

"n southeast: Still maintaining its 
reputation as the bestdressed campus 
region in the country, the Southeast 
combines high standards of fashion 
awareness with deceptively variable tem- 
peratures, thus requiring a wardrobe 
chosen with special care. For seminars, 
socials and vacation visits back home, a 
minimum of four natural-shoulder suits 
is essential. Although the vest is no long- 
er mandatory, it will still be worn by 
fashion leaders, who will also set the 
pace with such suits as navy-blue wor- 
steds, glen plaids, and light-toned tweeds 
and cheviots. Or, you may also choose 
from among a vested whipcord outfit in 
natural shades, a light-brown tweed or a 
black-and-white herringbone tweed. 

A leisurely look can be achieved 
with a trio of blazers (one blue, one cam- 
el and the th 
spoken herringbone tweed jacket in 
black and white, a windowpane bold ta 
Shetland and a brown tweed. Coordi 
these with two pairs of light-gray flannels 
(to go with your blazers), four pairs of 
tan chines, two pairs of blue (dark and 
medium) poplins, a pair of natu 
whipcords and a blue-gray worsted hop- 
sack. Since the position of the sport shirt 
on Southeastern campuses is presently in 
flux, we suggest that you take no more 
than six—a couple of solid knits, a pair 
in dark solid colors, a madras and a bold 
stripe—and see what happens as the sea- 
son develops 

You'll need only a minimum of really 
warm-weather apparel in the Southeast. 
For dressing up, be sure to have at least 
one topcoat, and, for casual wear, choose 
from among nylon shells in red, yellow, 
blue or white, madras pullovers, black or 
tan poplin golf jackets and fleece-lined 
waistlength poplins. Sweaters, on the 
other hand, will make up an important 
part of your wardrobe; we think you 
should be prepared with an ample as- 
sortment of V necks and cardigans in 
Shetland, lamb's wool and camel's 
as well as a sumptuous cashmere or two. 
Sweater shades in this area are seen rath- 
er than heard, so play it safe w 
shades, followed by wine, navy blue and 
dark green. Since hats are optional, you 

(concluded on page 158) 


PETER GOLD. 


GROVER DILL 
-ANDTHE 
TASMANIAN DEVIL 
~ eut of the darkness 
screamed the fanged: 
and maniacal carnivore that 


lurks in each of us— 
at age thirteen 


memoir By JEAN SHEPHERD The male human animal, skulking through the impenetrable, 
fetid jungle of kidhood, learns early in the game just what sort of animal he is. The jungle he stalks is a 
howling tangled wilderness, infested with crawling, flying, leaping, nameless dangers. There are occasion- 
al brilliant patches of passionate orchids and other sweet flowers and succulent fruits, but they are rare. 
He daily does battle with horrors and emotions that he will spend the rest of his life trying to forget or 
suppress. Or recapture. 

His jungle is a wilderness he will never fully escape, but those first early years, when the bloom 
is on the peach and the milk teeth have just barely departed, are the crucial days in the great educa- 
tion. | am not at all sure that girls have even the slightest hint that there is such a jungle. But no 
man is really qualified to say. Most wildernesses are masculine, anyway. 

And one thing that must be said about a wilderness, in contrast to the supple silkiness of civili- 
zation, is that the basic, primal elements of existence are laid bare and raw. And can’t be ducked. It is 
in this jungle that all men find out about themselves. Things we all know, (continued on page 187) 


Playmates ‘Revisited - 1961 


playboy encores its eighth year's gatefold girls 


HerFwitH, the eighth step in our Tenth Anniversary romp down Playmate Memory Lane, to be fol- 
lowed shortly by a December Readers’ Choice portfolio. The phenomenal growth of PLAYBOY was re- 
flected in its eighth year by a torrent of mail responses to 1961's gatefold girls. So many readers raved 
about Christa Speck (September) that her total has never been topped; Speck-tacular Christa (88-22- 
36) later appeared in the Playmate Holiday House Party feature (December. 1961), which garnered 
additional overwhelming male reaction; shortly thereafter, pLaynoy’s editors unanimously selected 
her the Playmate of the Year. Christa’s bosom companion, Heidi Becker (June), a strudel-sweet 
Austrian, elicited enough letters to place her third in all-time Playmate popularity; our mail room 
also worked overtime toting billetsdoux for Barbara Ann Lawford (February) and Connie Cooper 
(January). Sheralee Conners (July) and Lynn Karol (December), having tasted gatefold fame, opted 
for cottontailing and became two of New York's most popular Bunnies; admirers may also recognize 
Lynn as one of Peter Sellers’ charmers in his moviclover pa ly (pLayboy, April 1964), and Sheralee 
via her appearance on Steve Allen's show, when she tutored him on the techniques of Bunnying. If 
you've already decided on your ten favorite Playmates of the Decade, send in your choices now. Any 
girl who appeared between December 1953 and December 1963 is eligible for our year-end portfolio. 


acd zio. eh iu : 


z ji ze LESS 
SHERALEE CONNERS, July 1961 SUSAN KELLY, May 1961 


JEAN CANNON, October 1961 KAREN THOMPSON, August 1961 


as i 


HEIDI BECKER, June 1961 


BARBARA ANN LAWFORD, February 1961 LYNN KARROL, December 1961 
— Ees Tn 


p 


i 1 
NANCY NIELSEN, April 1961 TONYA CREWS, March 1961 


CONNIE COOPER, January 1961 i DIANNE DANFORD, November 1961 


CHRISTA SPECK, September 1961 


PLAYEOY 


B.M.O.C. 


can get by with a rain hat and perhaps a 
sporty tweed cap. 

THE DEEP south: The formula for 
Decp Southern fashion tastes is dictated 
by equal parts of sunshine, quality-con- 
sciousness and orthodoxy. 
the natüralshoulder suit—with vest (in 
spite of the weather)—prevails unques- 
tionably. An array of four light and 
middleweight suits, varying in tone and 
texture from n m-gray 
herringbone, understated glen plaid, tan 
gabardine and washable tan poplin, will 
be an unimpeachable assorunent for 
any social diversion from fraternity 
bashes to weekend sorties in New Or- 
Jeans, Atlanta or Palm Beach. Since the 
Southern sportswear accent is influenced 
by resort trends, your sports jackets 
should be appropriately freewheeling. 
We suggest several bold plaids on light 
grounds, a vibrantly toned madras, a 
couple of seersuckers and a camel blazer 
(in addition to the indispensable blue 
blazer). Ten pairs of slacks, including a 
large proportion of washable blends in 
tan, blue and olive, will suitably round 
Out your casual ensembles. 

Although warm outerwear is rarely 
needed here, the Southern student will 
want to be ready for unseasonably cold 
js with a fleece-lined poplin and a 
brighuly colored nylon shell. Sweaters, 
likewise, are exceptional rather than 
standard, but a couple, similar style 
to those worn by Southeastern matricu- 
lants, will come in handy for autumnal 
events. The sportshirt scene, on the 
other hand, is very much alive, with 
buttondown collars the stylewisc choice. 
dras in both light and dark grounds, 
well as vivid solid shades, will be the 
prevailing hues, but you can vary your 
collection with a couple of solid-color 
knits and some Henley crew shirts. 

THE Mipwest: The predictably un- 
predictable extremes of weather in mid- 
America dictate a full complement of 
outerwear matched by a suitable array 
of warm-weather apparel for carly fall 
and late spring. With the Ivy League 
three-button suit as unquestioned here 
as it ever was (and vests de rigueur), 
you'll want to start out with a herring- 
bone, cheviot or glen plaid in revived 
brown tones, supplemented by a heather 
mix of olive or blue in tweed, a gray 
flannel and a dark-blue worsted shark- 
for 


quadrangle bull sessions and 
ll elbow bending, a jaunty leisure 
look can be achieved with sports jackets 
in bold tweeds, also light-colored but 
outspoken patterns of plaid Shetland 
and brown herringbone. Slacks coordi- 
nates will range from the classic gray 
flannels to taupe corduroys, olive gab- 
ardines, tan chinos, worsted whipcords 


ise and, for late spring, washable whites. 


(continued from page 152) 


One of the brighter aspects of matric- 
ulating in the Midwest is the wide variety 
of greatlooking winterwear you can add. 
to your wardrobe. Prism 
suave suede jackets, vi 
duffel coats are all nifty for the casual 
campus scene, while, for weekend dates 
n Chicago or St. Louis, this season's fur- 
collared tweed coats and hand: 
or furlined jackets are noteworthy. For 
wintry under-the-coat comfort, bulky sk 
sweaters and classic V-neck Shetlands are 
top choices; since there are few hard-fast 
rules regarding knitwear in the Midwest, 
the balance of your initial four-sweater 
assortment may be freely selected. Going 
counter to the national trend toward 
lighter colors, this section favors deep- 
dyed shades in sport shirts. We recom- 
mend, as your first choice, several of 
these in solid colors, supplemented by 
a madras, a couple of bold stripes and 
plaid patterns, making a total of eight. 

THE sourmwest: The give and take 
of fashion influences is seen most clearly 
in this sharply individualistic area. Har- 
ness-leather belts and bold brass buckles 
ted here and are now seen all 


origin 
over the country; similarly, fields of 
outhwestinspired wheat jeans are 


being cultivated as far North as Seattle, 
ast as Princeton; modified West- 
ern boots and tengallon hats, also born 
and bred in this region, have become a 
frequent item on campuses everywherc. 
Conversely, the tra natural-shoul- 
der outline is so firmly entrenched here 
that it brooks no exceptions. You'll need 
four suits, and we think you'll be deco- 
rously attired in a vested navy worsted, a 
darkgray flannel, a lightgray herring- 
bone and a medium-gray glen plaid. 
For an impeccable leisure look, we 
recommend five sports jackets; a camel 
blazer added to your necessary navy 
jacket, a seersucker in burgundy, a medi- 
um plaid Shetland and a rugged herring- 
bone tweed. Ten pairs of slacks, chosen 
from among basic gray flannels and chi 


as 


tering high noons, will coordinate cor 
rectly. Outerwear, too, should be chosen 
with an eyc to the thermometer: For 
after-dinner playmate prospecting, take 
along a quilted nylon ski jacket, a lined 
waistlength jacket, or a three-quarter- 
length car coat 

Southwestern tastes in sweaters range 
from wild to woolly, with undergradu- 
tes competing to see who can accum 
late a larger and more colorful collection. 
Accordingly, you'll need a minimum of 
eight, varying these from regulation 
camel's-hai ns to Shetland and 
lamb's-wool crew necks and V necks, 
from mohairs, alpacas and heather mixes 
10 flag-bright bulky knits and ski types. 
In a reversal of last year’s trend toward 
subdued tones, standard sport-shirt styles 


will be scen in vivid bursts of color, Ban- 
Lon and cotton knits will show up in 
every hue, and madras in bold plaids 
promises to be popular. To balance your 
assortment of 12 shirts, include a couple 
of conservative hopsacks in dark solid 
tones. Although bare heads are OK in 
this section, you may want a rain hat 
nd gray center-crease felt for dates, and 
a cloth tweed lid for informal occasions. 

THE WEsT Coast: Nowhere in the 
United States are fashion preferences so 
sharply the free 
wheeling Western states, which, from an 
apparel point of view, have little in com- 
mon other than a justified reput 
for sartorial independence. West Coast- 
crs, for example, will depart from na- 
tionwide style trends by sporting jaunty 
shortslecve cardigans, venturesome self- 


supporting slacks and evening suits in 
the 


glistening mohair. Even though 
natural-shoulder accent is pr 
d s, its import 
tenuated by a universal ca 
dress that is acceptable for even the most 
formal occasions. Since you won't need. 
the collection of four vested. 
ard for most other campuses, choose a 
couple or three from among sharkskins 
in black, na gabardi 
pe hopsack. Naturally, your lei- 
sure wardrobe will be correspondingly 
large: Complement your blue blazer with 
one in olive or camel; add to these an 
assortment of sports jackets in gray her- 
ringbone tweed, madras, seersucker and 
blended polyester-worsted (in one of the 
new clay tones). Complete your casual 
ensembles with several pairs of the stand- 
d flannel and worsted trousers, plus an 
ample supply of lightweights (the num- 
ber determined by your geographical 
location), and leave room on your slacks 
rack for a pair or two of locally pur- 
chased beltless trousers. 

Northwestern matriculants will need a 
full supply of outerwear, including at 
lcast a ski parka, a corduroy stadium 
coat and a three-quarterlength camel- 
toned raglan with leather trim. For Cal 
fornia, any one of these, or a navy 
convoy coat, will be sufficient. Because 
there are no definitive sweater trends in 
the West, you ke along anything 
from lamb's wool to cashmere, from light 
alpaca to heavy bulky knits. We rccom- 
mend at least a dozen sport shirts, 
all buttondown except for a selection of 
solid knits and a sweat shirt or two. Col- 
ors run rampant here, so take your pick 
of many hues in velours, madras, bold 
stripes, hopsacks and tartans. € hats 
re optional don't burden your skull 
with more than a couple: a poplin for 
rain and a tweed cap for dates. 

There it is. School fashions have never 
been better looking—yet more masculine 
—than they will be this year. Relax and 


enjoy them. 


BOTTLED IN SCOTLAND. BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY, 80.8 PROOF. IMPORTED BY CANADA ORY CORPORATION, NEW YORK, NEW YORK 


Do you know that the odds are 
200 to 1 against you: finding 


tch? 


There arc at least that many Scotch whiskies 
on the market. But only ove is smoothest. 

How, then, do you find it? 

Sampling each could take months. And 
color is no guide: lightness or darkness has 
nothing whatever to do with smoothness. 

But you can eliminate all the odds with 
just one sip if you head straight for Johnnie 
Walker Red. 

You'll find it smooth, and satisfying. 

So very smooth, so very satisfying, that 


Johnnie Walker Red is the largest-selling f 
Scotch whisky in the world. P 


Johnnie Walker Red —just smooth, very smooth 


PLAYBOY 


160 


“Uh, Hutchins... when I remarked thai you weren't getting enough 
feeling into your work, I was speaking in terms of aesthetics . . ." 


PLAYBOY PHILOSOPHY 


in jail or both. Quite obviously, as Judge 
Ploscowe observes, "The left hand of 
the law docs not know what the right 
hand is doing," Quite obviously, too, 
those 31 residents of Seattle, who were 
arrested for adultery and fornication, 
would have had a happier, less harried 
year if they'd been residents of New 
York instead. 

Kinsey offers this interesting comment 
on the capricious manner in which our 
state fornication and adultery statutes 
are administered: "Extramarital coitus is 
rarely prosecuted. because its existence 
rarely becomes known to any third par- 
ty. Even when it docs become known, 
the matter is rarely taken to criminal 
court. Most of the cases which we have 
scen in penal institutions were prose- 
cuted because of some social disturbance 
that had grown out of the extram: 
activity, as when a wife had comp 
or when the family had been neglected 
or deserted as a result of the extramari. 


tal relationships. . . . Not infrequently 
the prosecutions represented attempts 
on the part of neighbors or relatives to 


work off grudges that had developed 
over other matters. In this, as in many 
other areas, the law is most often uti 
lized by persons who have ulterior mo- 
tives for causing difficulties for the 
nonconformant individuals. Not infre- 
quently the prosecutions represent at- 
tempts by sheriffs, prosecutors, or other 
law-enforcement officers to work off per- 
wnal or political grudges by taking 
advantage of extramarital relationships 
which they may have known about and 
ignored for some time before they be- 
c interested in prosecuting.” 

Kinsey then notes that in Boston, one 
of the few large cities in which there is 
an active use of the adultery law, the stat- 
ute appears to serve chiclly as a means 
of placing heavier penalties on prostitu- 
tion than the directly applicable statute 
provides. This explains the dispropo 
tionate female-male ratio to be found in 
the statistics cited for that city. 


PROSECUTION FOR COHABITATION 


Fifteen states have laws 
is termed “lewd and 
tation, which, upon investigation, turus 
out 10 be nothing more than an unmar- 
ried couple living together as man and 
wife, or carrying on an extended affair 
in what is deemed to be an “open and 
notorious” manner. One might logically 
assume that society would prefer this 
more permanent sort of liaison to th 
promiscuous, hitand-run variety, but 
must be obvious by now that logic has 
nothing to do with our sex legislation 

d, in general, the penaltics for cohabi- 
tation are greater than for random forni- 
cation. In fact, Arkansas, California, 
Louisiana and New Mexico, which do 
not have laws against either fornication 


igainst what 
us" cohabi 


(continued from page 74) 


or adultery, do havc statutes prohibiting 
cohabita 

And in Arkansas, the more constant a 
fellow is to the girl of his dreams, the 
rougher things get His first conviction 
for living with the lady brings only a 
small fine (520 to $100); the second con- 
viction for cohabitation boosts the fine 
to a minimum of $100 and a maximum 
that is left to the discretion of the kindly 
old reprobate on the bench, who— 
should judicial ire be provoked by the 
defendant, for taking a local pussycat 
out of circulation with such an illicit 
bed-and-board arrangement—can elect to 
slap the fellow in the pokey for 12 
months: the third time around, the con- 
staney of the relationship is rewarded 
with a prison sentence of from one to 
three years. 

On the other hand, if the same brash 
lad turned into a promiscuous version of 
the Arkansas Traveler, never tarrying in 
any one domicile for more than a night 
or two, he could visit every maid and 
madam in the community—including 
the judges wife and daughter—with 
a fear of legal reprisal. 

This tendency to deal more harshly 
with long-lasting relationships than with 
shorclived ones is also reflected in a 
number of the adultery and fornication 
statutes, which are worded in such a way 
as to make them actually laws against 
cohabitation, A number of lower court 
con ns for fornication and adultery 
have also been reversed by the higher 
courts, because no more than a single 

nation, or two, 

The prejudice against more perma- 
ment nonmarital affairs is justified by the 
proposition. that they have a 
tendency to “debase 
ard of public morals," because they are 
less furtive, less secretive, are more open 
and available to public scrutiny. But we 
to sce the logic in a legal position 
that promotes the promiscuous, and pre- 
fers the hidden over the honestly open; 
nor are we able to comprehend how the 
same act can be legal when it occurs 
once, or a few times, but becomes illegal 
when it occurs more. [requently. 

This peculiar wrinkle in our sex leg- 
n was conceived, we suspect, so 
t citizens could not easily enjoy the 
pleasures of hearth and home without 
the official church-state seal of approval. 
Such control over our private lives pro- 
vides the Establishment with power; 
such power begets more power, which is 
used to further restrain us. It is a power 
that should rightly rest with the individ- 
ual, we think, rather than with our 
government, 


TWO CASES OF ADULTERY 


A single act of nonmarital sex is some- 
times quite suficient, of course. And 


act of adultery may be prosecuted, even 
when perpetrated with the approval of 
the spouse, as an Oregon gentleman 
named Ayles learned the hard way. In 
the case of State vs. Ayles, a man was ar- 
rested for adultery for having had inter- 
course with a married woman. (As we 
have noted previously, in The Play- 
boy Philosophy, February 1964, adultery 

usly defined in the different states, 
sometimes including only the married 
members in extramarital affairs, and 
sometimes including the unmarried 
members as well.) During the trial Ayles 
offered to prove that the woman's hus 
band had induced the adulterous rela- 
tionship by leaving the couple alone, 
after making various remarks and in- 
nuendocs indicating to the defendant 
whatever occurred would be all right 
with him. The Court excluded this evi- 
dence. The conviction was upheld on 
the ground that even if the husband had 
induced the relationship, the defendant 
was still guilty. 

In an even more unusual case, com- 
mented upon in the February install- 
ment, intercourse between a husband 
and wife was construed to be adultery by 
the Court (State vs. Grengs, Wisconsin, 
1948). The court record indicates that a 
man and woman wi ried in Wis 
consin and subsequently separated, the 
wife moving to Minnesota. The husband 
then obtained a divorce in Wiscons 
under Wisconsin law, the divorce was 
not final for one year. During the year, 
the woman remarried in Iowa. Under 
Iowa law the second marriage was valid, 
despite the Wisconsin one-year waiting 
period. The newly married couple then 
decided to return to Wisconsin to live 
and that was a mistake. They were ar- 
rested, tried and convicted. of adultery. 
because under Wisconsin law the wife 
still married to her first husband. 


SEX AND UNCLE SAM 


In addition to the state statutes, the 
Federal Government also has a law, com- 
monly referred to as the Mann Act (after 
Representative James Robert Mann, 
who drafted it), which has been used to 
prosecute acts of nonmarital sex. Though 
officially titled the — Whiteslavc-taffic 
Act, and passed by the U.S. Congress 
1910 to curb interstate prostitu- 
tion, the law reads, "Any person who 
shall knowingly transport or cause to 
be transported, or aid or assist in obtain- 
ing transportation for ... any woman 
or girl for the purpose of prostitution or 
debauchery, or for any other immoral 
purpose . . . shall be deemed guilty of a 
felony.” The Federal Courts have inter- 
preted "any other immoral purpose" to 
include simple fornication—nonmarital 
intercourse between consenting adults— 
and the maximum penalty prescribed is 
a fine of $5000, or five years in prison, or 
both; if the girl involved is under the 
age of 18, the potential penalty is a 


161 


PLAYBOY 


$10,000 fine and/or 
up to ten ycars. 

A young n 
with him on 


imprisonment for 


a who takes his girlfriend 
vacation is subject to pros- 
ecution under the Mann Act, if they 
uavel from one state to another—even 
if neither of the states has laws against 
fornication. The young man may be 
found guilty under this law, even i 
and his girl are not actually inti 
intention is sufficient: If he merely con- 
sidered the possibility of their being 
intimate when he was making prepara- 
d she later refused 


tions for the trip, a 
him, he is guilty. 
The 


first unfortunate fellow to be 
n this manner was a Califor- 
nian named Caminetti who took a fe- 
male friend to Reno with him for the 
weckend. Writer Alan Holmes comment- 
ed on this case in an article on the sub- 
ject in PLAYBOY (The Mann Act, June 
1959), concluding: "Clearly, it had not 
been the intention of Congress to apply 
the Mann Act to this kind of peccadillo— 
but in order to revise the law to conform 
iginal purpose, some brave Con- 
gressn d to propose an 
amendment which would surely result in 
his being tagged throughout the land a 
an advocate of sin. A Congressman that 
brave was not to be found at the time, 
and none has appeared since. 
“Appellate courts have consistently 


ruled, therefore, that premarital inter- 
course comes under the heading of ‘any 
other immoral purpose . . " " Mr. Cami- 


neti's weekend in Reno cost him a 
$1500 fine and 18 months in prison. 


PROSECUTION OF NONCOITAL SEX 


Just as the penalties for noncoital sex 
acis are more severe, so are they also 
more frequently applied. This is be- 
cause, as Kinsey states, “There has been 
n insistence under our English-Amer 
can codes that the simpler and more 
direct a sexual relation, the more com- 
pletely it is confined to genital coitus, 
and the less the variation which enters 
into the performance of the act, the more 
acceptable the relationship is morally.” 

As previously stated, the sodomy law 
of America are actually a catchall for 
every manner of nonprocreative sexual 
behavior. They are primarily used to 
prosecute offenses of a homosexual na- 
ture, but the statutes are written so as to 
apply to heterosexual noncoital acts as 
well. And none of the sodomy statutes 
of the United States makes any distinc- 
tion regarding the marital status of the 
partners. 

Kinsey states, “It is not often realized 
that the [scxual] techniques which arc 
employed in marriage may be subject to 
the same legal restrictions which are 
placed on those techniques when they 
occur between persons who are not wed 
ded spouses. . .. In most states the sod- 
omy acts are so worded that they would 


162 apply to mouth-genital contacts and to 


anal [intercourse] between married 
spouses, as well as to both heterosexual 
and homosexual relations outside of 
marriage. ... While the laws are more 
commonly enforced in regard to such re- 
lations outside of marriage, there are 


ances of spouses whose oral ac 


through them to the CERES and 
ultimately led to prosecution and p 
sentences for both husband and wi 
are court decisions not 
ng a husband and wife that have con- 
famed the applicability of these sodomy 
statutes to married couples also. In the 
€ of State vs. Nelson in Minnesota, 
for example, the Court stated: “It is not 
the normal sexual act that this statute 
aims at. Rather and only it is the unnat- 
ural and prohibited way of satisfying 
sexual desires that the statute is designed 
to punish. Thus husba 
violating this statute, could undoubtedly 
be punished, whereas the normal sexual 
act would not only bc legal but perhaps 
entirely proper." 

rcumstantial evidence may be 
sufficient to obtain a conviction and the 
mere attempt to commit the act may be 
all that is required. The Alabama Jaw 
states: “An offense may be proven under 
this section as in other cases, by circum- 
al evidence, when positive proof is 
and“... A conviction may be 
tempt to commit an offense 
denounced by this section. 

Tt is actually possible for a husband to 
be arrested and convicted of sodomy for 
simply suggesting to his wife tha 
marital sex might be more satisfying 
included something more than 
intercourse. Kinsey reports, “One 
even goes so far as to uphold the convic- 

ion of a man for soli, ng his wife to 


io 
commit sodomy. 

Kinsey's records include “cases of per- 
sons who were convicted because one of 
the spouses objected, or because some 
other person became aware that oral or 
anal play had been included in the mari- 
tal activities.” He goes on to say, "In 
those states where the definition of 
cruelty as one of the grounds for divorce 
includes ‘personal indignities’ or ‘mental 
cruelty divorce cases involving either 
nd's or wife's desires or de- 
mands for the use of oral techniques are 
not infrequent.” Ploscowe reports that 
1951 an appellate court in Pennsylvania 
had two such divorce proceedings i 
single day (Glick vs. Glick, in which the 
wife asked for the relations; and Kranch 
vs. Kranch, in which the request came 
from the husband). 

New scientific insights regarding the 
sexual nature of man have considerably 
altered society’s views on this subject in 
recent years. What was once considered 
“unnatural” is now recognized as per- 
fectly normal and, in many instances, 
desirable, since such tech- 
niques can add 


ction gained by both 
tners in the sexual act. 

Most modern marriage manuals and 
experts in the field of sex education en- 
natural freedom in the love p 
they indicate 

nate preliminaries th 
tual act of intercourse 
extremely important to the success of 
the coitus itself; they conclude that no 
inti at brings pleasure to both 
n the relationship should be 
considered improper or taboo. 

This quote from Sexual Harmony in 
Marriage by Dr. Oliver M. Butterfield is 
typical: ion is proper which 
permits full satisfaction for both parties. 
Il parts of the body are proper for use 
if they can be made to contribute to the 
general goal without giving offense to the 


neither partner is harmed thereby." 
D. Stanley Jones states, in a volume 
i "Many of 
iants of conventional sexual tech- 
nique which were formerly regarded as 
perversions are now acknowledged as 
playing a legitimate part in the fore- 
ure that leads up to happily con- 
intercourse, .. . It is now 
ognized that any form of bodily ma- 
ulation which can be used as an 


adjunct to mutual sex orgasm may in no 
way be regarded as a perverse or un- 
natural addiction." 


Dr. Albert Ellis writes, in an article 
published in Marriage and Family Liv- 
ing: “The only true sexual ‘perversion’ 
is a fetish or rigidity which convinces an 
individual that he or she can only have 


satisfactory sex relations in one method 
or position. The great majority of sexual 


‘pervert 


in this country are not sadists, 
homosexuals, exhibitionists, or si 
deviates, but ‘normal’ married individu- 
Is who only enjoy one method of coitus 
~ - - because they are afraid or ashamed 
to try the dozens of other sexual vari 
tions that are easily available to them 

The attitude of most organized reli- 
gion has also changed in this regard. A 
majority of the contemporary Protestant 
and Jewish clergy who offer guidance in 
this arca expound the same enlightened 
viewpoint on the natu i 


jar 


sperts. The 
milar view, 


But in offering such sound advice, the 
marriage counsclors, educators, scientists 
d clergy are actually inviting their fel- 
low citizens to commit criminal acis in 
their bedrooms—acts that are prohibited 
by law almost everywhere in Ameri 
with lengthy prison sentences prescribed 
for the guilty. 

Almost all U.S. sex laws are woefully 
unrelated to the realities of contempo- 
rary socicty, but the disparity is nowhere 


more evident than in the legislation 
designed to suppress ^unnatural" sex 
behavior. 

Until quite recently, every state in the 
Union had a sodomy law and/or similar 
legislation on “perversion” and “crimes 
against nature.” In 1961, in a moment of 
rare sexual enlightenment for a U.S. leg- 
islative body, the lawmakers of Illinois 
repealed their statute on sodomy, which 
was typical of those described in this ed- 
itorial, including the usual prohibitions 
against unnatural acts with man or 
Deast. As of this writing, none of the leg- 
islatures of the other 49 states has seen 
fit to follow Illinois’ lead. Nor is the 
ational or 
permissive as this particular legislative 
action suggests. For the lawmakers re- 
pealed the state's sodomy statute, but 
left standing those for fornication and 
Tultery. This puts Illir the inter- 
esting position of being more tolerant of 
homosexual than heterosexual sex; of 
permitting “unnatural” acts between 
partners of the same or opposite sex, 
while prohibiting acts of "natural" inter- 
course. (Sce letter of comment on this 
matter from Charles H. Bowman, Pro- 
fessor of Law at the University of Ilinois, 
who was Chairman of the Drafting Sub- 
committee of the Joint Committee to 
Revise the Illinois Criminal Code, in 
The Playboy Forum in this issue.) 

Ploscowe writes, “While it would ap- 
pear that there is a definite softening of 
the legislative attitude toward the crime 
of sodomy in certain jurisdictions, there 
is no uniform profile of improvement or 
progress in this arca. Here and there, ret- 
rogression in the form of increasingly 
severe penalties may be observed. 

“Formerly, sodomy in Arkansas was 
punishable by a minimum prison term 
of five ye: But in 1955, owing to the 
fact that juries for a long time had evi- 
dently displayed reluctance to condemn 
defendants to five years’ imprisonment 
for the crime, the Arkansas legislature 
reduced the minimum penalty to one 
year. [In five states the minimum sen- 
tence is still five years and in one it is 
seven.] 

"In a counter direction, just a few 
rlicr, Arizona, which previously 
lon the books a one-to-fiv 
of prison penalties for sodomy, 
increased the limits to five to twenty 
years. 

“The severity of the penalties against 
sodomy and crimes against nature in so 
many ju ictions indicates that the law 
has lost little of the abhorrence for aber- 
rant sex behavior expressed by the carly 
text writers [i.e., Blackstone, quoted e; 
lier]. It is even more clearly revealed in 
the laws of states like Wyoming and In- 
diana. These states punish a completed 
act of sexual intercourse between a man 
and a girl under 21 as fornication, with 
imprisonment of three months and six 
months respectively. The masturbation 


current Ilinois position as 


of such a girl in those states would be 
sodomy, punishable by maximum impris- 
onments of five years and fourteen 
years respectively.” 


PROSECUTION OF HOMOSEXUALITY 


All of the methods of sexual grat- 
ification that are commonly employed 
in a homosexual relationship are prohib- 
ited under our sodomy laws; and the 
statutes are more frequently enforced 
against homosexual than heterosexual 
partners. Whar is less commonly recog- 
nized is that almost all of the prosec 
tions for homosexual behavior are 
against males, although acts of female 
homosexuality (Lesbianism) are quite 
common. 

Kinsey states, “Our search through the 
several hundred sodomy opinions which 
have been reported in this country be- 
tween 1696 and 1952 has failed to reveal 
a single case sustaining the conviction of 
a female for homosexual activity. Our 
examination of the records of all the fc- 
males admitted to the Indiana Women's 
Prison between 1874 and 1944 indicates 
that only one was sentenced for ho- 
mosexual activity, and that was for activ- 


—— 
minne e 


ity which had taken place within the 
walls of another institution. Even in 
such a large city as New York, the rec- 
ords covering the years 1930 to 1939 show 
only one case of a woman convicted 
of homosexual sodomy, while there 
were over 700 convictions of males on 
homosexual charges, and several thou- 
sand cases of males prosecuted for public 
indecency, or for solicitation, or for other 
activity which was homosexual. In our 
own more recent study of the c 
ment of sex law in New York City we 
find three arrests of females on homosex- 
ual cl 
of those cases were dismi though 
there were some tens of thousands of ar- 
rests and convictions of males charged 
with homosexual activity in that same 
period of tim 

Several of the state statutes on sodomy 
do not apply to female homosexuality, 
including those of Connecticut, Georgia, 
Kentucky, South Carolina and Wiscon- 
sin. A footnote to the Georgia statute 
states: "Crime of sodomy as defined in 
this section cannot be accomplished L 
tween two women; hence person convict- 
ed in indictment charging her with 


<a 


Cetema mi =. 


a 


“Say, you're not in Cosa Nostra for the FBI, are you?” 


163 


PLAYBOY 


"It isn't off any of my wigs.” 


sodomy, both participants in act being 
alleged to be females, will be discharged. 
on habeas corpus on ground that she 
being illegally restrained of her liberty, 
in that indicument on which she was 
convicted was null and void.” 
Heterosexual cunnilingus (mouth-gen- 
1 act performed upon the female) has 
been held not to be “the crime against 
nature" by the courts in Illinois (prior 
to repeal of Minois’ sodomy statute), 
sippi and Ohio, and the decisions 
would presumably apply to homosexual 
cunnilingus as well, There is also some 
doubt as to whether the laws in Arkan- 
sas, Colorado, Iowa and Nebraska would: 
apply to female homosexuality. In those 
states in which sodomy includes fellatio, 
but not cu gus. a heterosexual act 
of oral-genital intercourse performed 
upon a male by a female is a crime, but a 
homosexual act of o i 
course performed by 
another female is not. 

"The legal leniency shown female ho- 
mosexual behavior is consistent with the 
traditional religious attitude on the sub- 
ject. The ancient Hittite code con- 
demned only male homosexuality, and 
only under certain circumstances, 


and made no mention of homosexual 
activity among females. Similarly, the 
references to homosex activity in the 
Bible and in the Talmud apply primari- 
ly to the male. The condemnations were 
severe and usually called for the death 
of the transgressing male, but they rarely 
mentioned female and when 
they did, no severe penalties were pro- 
posed. In medieval European history 
there are abundant records of death im- 
posed upon men for sexual activities 
with other men, but very few recorded 
cases of similar action against women. 
This inconsistency in attitude toward 
male and female homosexuality is proba- 
bly a result of the differing social and 
l status of the sexes in the p 
ially less important than n 
ictivities of females were 


the private 
more or les ignored, except where 


another man was involved. (We have 
previously commented upon the manner 
in which our moder prohibitions 
against adultery grew out of the carly 
concept of women being the property of 
men: thus to use another man's wife sex- 
ually was a crime against property: the 
moral significance was not added u 
later.) 


The prosecution of male homosexual: 
ity in the United $ not declining; 
if anything, it is on the increase. Plos- 
cowe notes, for example, that during the 
ten years from 1930 to 1940. the New 
York City Police Department reported a 
total of 1396 arrests for sodomy, or an 
average of only 139.6 per year: during 
the eight-year period from 1950 through 
1957 (the last year in which sodomy 
statistics were listed separately), a total of 
2637 arrests were listed, an average of 
329.6 per year. The great majority of 
these arrests were for homosexual acts, 
nd these figures do not include the 
ny thousands of additional arrests for 
homosexual behavior on other than 
sodomy charges. 

In an excellent article, titled. “Ho- 
mosexuality in America," in their issue 
of June 26, 1964, Life comments on the 
current get-tough attitude of officials in 
California and Florida: “As part of its 
antihomosexual drive the Los Angeles 
police force has compiled an 'education- 
al’ pamphlet for law-enforcement officers 
entitled Some Characteristics of the Ho- 
mosexual. The strongiy opinionated 
pamphlet includes the warning that 
what the homosexuals really want is ‘a 
fruit world." 

In their unrelenting crackdown on 
homosexuals the Los Angeles police use 
two approaches: One is an cort to deter 
homosexual activity in public, and the 
other is an arrest effort. . . . To arrest 
homosexuals the police have an under- 
cover operation in which officers dressed 
to look like homosexi 
sneakers, sweaters oi 
streets and bars. The officers are in- 
structed never to make an overt advance: 
‘They can only provide an opportunity 
for the homosexual to proposition them. 
Arrests are made after the officer has re- 
ceived a specific proposition." 

Life mentions that the legislatures of 
some states, including New York and 
California, are currently considering 
penal code revisions similar to Ill 
which would remove the restrictions on 
homosexual acts between consenting 
adults. “But in Florida." the article con- 
tinues, “early this year the Legislative 
Investigation Committee's consideration 
of homosexuality produced an inflam- 
matory report, calling for tougher laws 
to support the conclusion that ‘the prob- 
lem today is one of control, and that 
cstablished. procedures and stern pena 
ties will serve both as encouragement 
to law-enforcement officials and as a 
deterrent to the homosexual [who is] 
hungry for youth.’ Its recommendations 
would make psychiatric ination of 
offenders mandatory and create a con- 
trol file on homosexuals which would be 
available to public employment agen 
throughout the state. The report, which 
included an opening-page picture of two 
men kissing and photographs of nude 
men and boys, was so irresponsible th 


it brought attacks from the Dade County 
state's attorney and the Miami Herald, 
which described it as an ‘official 
obscenity.” " 

Some authorities have suggested that 
homosexuality is itself increasing, but 
Kinscy's statistics tend 10 refute this 
sumption: he found little difference in 
the incidence of this and other forms of 
sexual activity among persons growing 
up in each of the decades since the turn 
of the century. He coneludes that, in 
general, human sexual behavior changes 
very little from generation to gencra- 
tion; what changes greatly, however, i 


e is no question but that the new 
openness and. permissiveness toward sex 
in contemporary soci produced a 
greater awareness of homosexual activi- 
ty, creating die impression that the be- 
havior itself is more prevalent. 

We tend to think of ourselves as a het- 
erosexual society: and to view homosex- 
wality as relatively uncommon and 
symprom of sickness. Neither assumption 
is valid. 
athavine B. Davis studied 1200 un- 
married female college graduates who 
averaged 37 years of age; she found that 
f of them had experienced intense 
emotional relationships with other wom- 
en and over 300, or one fourth of the to- 
1, engaged in sexual acts with members 
of their own sex. Of 100 married women 
studied by G. V. Hamilton, one fourth 


admitted homosexual episodes of a physi- 
cal nature. Kinscy’s research w: 
more extensive and must be con 
the most authoritative available; he 
found that 20 percent of the total female 
popul: has some overt homosexual 
experienc ze of 45, and 13 
percent has homosexual activity resulting 
in orgasm. Among women who are still 
unmarried at the age of 45, the incidence 
of overt homosexual experience rises 

26 percent. 

Kinsey's research on male homose 
tivity alo confirmed the findings of 
previous, less extensive U.S. studies by 
; V. Hamilton (1929), G.V. Ramsey 
(1943) and F. W. Finger (1947); Kinsey 
and his associates found that no less 
than 87 percent of the total 


a orgasm between puberty and 
years of age. Among males who are 
still unmarried at the age of 35, the pe 
centage increases to "almost exactly 50 
pe x. 


t 
-judge Ploscowe comments, “Ob- 
viously, the notion that sodomy and 
crimes against nature are loathsome pe 
versions which occur only in rare in 
stances and must be severely repressed 
because of their very abnormality is 
erroneous.” 

Even those who oppose the crimi 
prosecution of homosexuality as 
and inhumane often consider it the re- 
sult of an emotional abnormality; they 


believe it is simply a problem for the 
psych n the police. But 
you cannot cz avior abnormal when 
it involves 37 percent of the male popu- 
Jation—not if you want the word to re- 
tain any semblance of its scientific 
mcaning. 

Most analysts, psychiatrists and psy- 
chologists consider the confirmed homo- 
sexual emotionally disturbed; and the 
majority of those with whom they come 
in contact undoubtedly are. Analyst 
Ernest van den Haag was once told by a 
colleague, “All my homosexual. patients, 
you know, are quite sick." "Ah, yes," 
said Dr. van den Haag, "but so are all 
my heterosexual patients. 

Freud did not believe that homosexu- 
als were necessarily neurotic; in a letter 
to the mother of a homosexual, who had 
asked him for help, he wrote, “ Homosex- 
uality is assuredly no advantage. but it i 
nothing to be ashamed of—no vice, no 
degradation, it cannot be classified as an 
illness.” Neither did Kinsey, who was 
certainly no Freudian; he concluded 
that homosexual conduct was simply too 
widespread, in our own society and oth- 
ers, to be considered a sickness. 

Kinsey points out the error in think- 
ing of the homosexual and the het- 
erosexual as two distinct classifications 
or types; there are only individuals, 
who respond to various kinds of sexual 
stimulation in various ways; the nature 
of the response is dependent upon the 


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PLAYBOY 


taboos of a particular society and the ex- 
tent to which the individual has accept- 
ed them. All mammals, human beings 
included, are born with the innate capac- 
ity to respond to homosexual as well 
heterosexual stimuli. Zoologists have ob- 
served homosexual behavior in nearly 
every species of animal: anthropologists 
find it in human societies the world 
over; and historians find records of it in 
the civilizations of the past. 

It may help our understand 


ng of the 


matter if we make a distinction between 


the person for whom homosexual acti 
ty is but a part of the total sex experi- 
ence; and the true invert, who may be 
emotionally disturbed, and for whom 
homosexuality represents an escape 
from relations with the opposite sex. 
(Only 4 percent of the males interviewed 
by Kinsey were exclusively homosexual 
throughout their lifetimes: the othe 
percent 
homosexu: 
their histories.) 

But it must be remembered that the 
law does not prohibit being a homosex 
al; it prosecutes a person for the pe 
formance of a homosexual act (or, as in 
the example of Los Angeles law enforce- 
ment, the individual who simply suggests 
such an act). Thus the full 37 percent 
of all U. males could be arrested for 
this part of their sex experience; and 
undoubtedly would be, if they happened 
to be caught. 

Even though homosexual activity is 
prosecuted far more aggressively than 
illegal heterosexual activity, it is obvious 
that the arrests represent only a minute 
percentage of the total behavior. Plos- 
cowe states, "When the number of ar- 
rests and convictions are compared . . . 
with the estimates of homosexuality, and 
with reports on the incidence of uncon- 
ventional methods of sexual satisfaction, 
it is obvious that the legal prol 
against sodomy, homosexuality, 
crimes against nature are practically un- 
enforceable. One study estimated that six 
million homosexual acts of sodomy, fcl- 
Jatio, and mutual masturbation take 
place each year for every 20 convictions.” 

Even if it could be j fied, the most 
vigorous law enforcement would nei 
ther curb nor cure homosexual activity. 
Life reports, "Law officials and psychi- 
atrists who have tried to make interna- 
tional comparisons do not believe that 

ore widespread 

1 places like France, the Netherlands 
ada Sueaem eret gc ier punishable 
under the Jaw, than in other nations 
ours where it is considered a crime. 

“Most people who have studied ho- 
mosexuality believe that the laws against. 
re what Freud once called them, ‘a 
great injustice" and ‘cruelty—unjustly 
penalizing the few who are unlucky 
enough to be caught. Indeed some ob- 
servers think that the legal penalties and 


166 social stigma which threaten the ho- 


I's life may cause him more 
emotional disturbance than homosexual- 
ity itself{—and even that some defiant 
and thrillsecking men may take up ho- 
mosexuality for the very reason that it is 
illegal, just as some people who had nev- 
er drunk before began drinking during 
Prohibition.’ 

Society actually combines with nature 
to perpetuate homosexuality. The sexual 
patterns established at an early age tend 
to continue for a lifetime. And precisely 
at that period in his development when 
a young man's sexual desires are great- 
est, society forbids him to find release 
through heterosexual contacts. It is not 
surprising, therefore, that the most sex- 
ually precocious males are the ones most 
apt to be drawn into carly homosexual 
experiences. 

Says Life, displaying 
garding sex for an American miss-circu- 
me well-mea 
people feel that homosexuality could be 
reduced if our society were not so bla- 
tantly sexual in gencral—that is, if we 
protected our growing boys from the 
stimulation of sexy movies, books, maga- 

nes and outright pornography. But this 
theory ignores the urgency of the adoles- 
cent's sexual drive. ‘When a boy reaches 
puberty,’ says Dr. Gebhard [head of the 
Institute for Sex Research), hor- 
mones keep him far more stimulated 
from the inside than he could possibly 
be stimulated by anything he sees or 
hears" About the only effective way 
to discourage homosexuality at rhat 
crucial age, Dr. Gebhard believes, would 
be ‘to encourage heterosexi y 
simple statement has significant implica- 
tions for all of our social and legal re- 
strictions on sex, including censorship, 
and the re. If the legislator, judge, 
police official and common citizen un- 
derstood the truth in those words, and 
their full significance, we might at last 

ve an end to our socicty's continuing 
tempts at sex suppression. 
Nothing but a healthier emphasis on 
the heterosexual will ever reduce the ho- 
mosexual element in society. And not 
even that, it must be added, will ever 
eliminate it entirely—for it is one of the 
natural variations on the human sexual 
theme. We must agree on this with the 
uthor of the article in Life, who con- 
cluded: "Many optimistic students of 
our socicty believe that we may some 
day eliminate. poverty, slums and even 
the common cold—but the problem of 
homosexuality seems to be more akin to 
death and taxes. Even if every pres 
day American with the slightest trace of 
homosexuality could be deported tomor- 
row and forever banished, Dr. Gebh: 
believes, there would probably be just as 
any homosexual men in the U. S. a few 
generations hence as there are now.” 

To which we add this thoughtful note 
from Kinsey, for a society that tends to 


perpetuate perversion when it believes it 
is suppressing it: "The judge who is con- 
sidering the case of the male who has 
been arrested for homosexual activity, 
should keep in mind that nearly 40 per- 
cent of all me other males in the town 
could be arrested at some time in their 
lives for similar activity, and that 20 10 
30 percent of the unmarried males in 
that town could have been arrested for 
homosexual activity that had taken 


place within that same year. The court 
might also keep 


ind that the penal 
or mental institution to which he may 
send the male has something between 30 
nd 85 percent of its inmates engagi 
in the sort of homosexual activity which 
may be involved in the individual case 
before him. 

“On the other hand, the judge who 
dismisses the homosexual case that has 
come before him, or places the boy or 
adult on probation, may find himself the 
subject of attack from the local press 
which charges him with releasing dan 
gerous ‘perverts’ upon the community. 
Law-enforcement officers can utilize the 
findings of scientific studies of human 
behavior only to the extent that the 
community will back them. Until the 
whole community understands the reali- 
ties of human homosexual behavior, 
there is not likely to be much change 
the official handling of individual cases. 


SEX LAWS AND SOCIAL LEVELS 


As we mentioned in the April install- 
ment of this editorial series, Dr. Kinsey 
and his associates found a marked 
difference in sexual attitudes and behav- 
ior at various social and educational le: 
els in society. These differences have a 
definite effect upon the legislation and 
administration of our sex laws. 


Upper-level males suffer the greatest 


inhibitions regarding premarital inter- 
course and frequently resort to other 
forms of sexual release (masturbatio 
heavy petting, mouth-genital activity) in 
preference to coitus. In contrast, almost 
all lower-level males engage in coitus 
prior to marriage (98 percent of those 
h no more than a grade school educa- 
tion, compared to 84 percent of all 
males who haye been to high school, 
and 67 percent with some college educ; 
tion); lower-level males have premar 
intercourse more frequently and with a 
far greater number of different partners 
than their upper-level counterparts, but 
they have much stronger taboos against 
noncoital sex, often considering such 
activity or a form of 
“perversion.” 

Kinsey comments on the relationsh 
between educational background d 
our sex laws in Sexual Behavior in the 
Human Male: “Anglo-American sex laws 
are a codification of the sexual mores of 
the better educated portion of the popu 
lation. While they are rooted in the Eng 


8 


lish common law, their maintenance 
and defense lie chiefly the hands of 
state legislators and. judges who, for the 
most part, come from better educated 
levels. 
‘Consequent on this fact, the written 
codes severely penalize all nonmarital 
intercourse, whether it occurs before or 
fter marriage; but they do not make 
masturbation a crime, even though there 
are a few courts which have tried to read 
such interpretations into the law [and, as 
previously noted, two states specifically 
prohibit mutual masturbation or induc- 
ing another person to turbate! 

“However, the enforcement of the law 
is placed in the hands of police officials 
who come largely from grade school and 
high school segments of the population. 
For that reason, the laws against non- 
marital intercourse are rarely and only 
capriciously enforced, and then most of- 
ten when upperlevel individuals de- 
mand such police action. It is difficult 
for a lower-level policeman or detective 

feel that much of a crime is being 
committed when he finds a boy and 
girl involved in the sort of sexual activi- 
ty which was part of his own adolescent 
history, and which he knows was in the 
historics of most of the youth in the 
community in which he was raised. If 
the behavior involves persons against 
whom the policeman has a grudge (prob- 
ably for some totally nonsexual reason), 
if the relation involves too public an ex- 
hibition, if it involves a contact between 
much older and a younger person 
(which under the policeman’s code is 
more or less taboo), if it involves a rela- 
tion between persons belonging to 
different racial groups (which under his 
code may be exceedingly taboo). then 
the laws against premarital intercourse 
become convenient tools for punishing 
these other activities. But if it is the rou- 
tine sort of relationship that the officer 
very well knows occurs regularly in the 
lower-level community, then he may pay 
little attention to the enforcement of the 
laws. The policeman’s behavior may ap- 
pear incongruous or hypocritical to the 
citizen from the other side of town, but 
it is based on a comprehension of rea 
ties of which the other citizen is not of- 
e policemen who 
frankly si y consider it one of 
their functions to keep the judge from 
knowing things that he simply does not 
nderstand. 

“On the other h 


nd. if it is the case of 
boy who is found masturbating in a 
k alley, the policeman is likely to 
push the case through court and see that 
the boy is sent to an institution for inde- 
cent exposure, for moral degeneracy, or 
for perversion, When the boy arrives in 
the reformatory, the small-town sheriff 
may send a letter urging that the admin- 
istration of the institution pay special 
to curing the boy of the per- 
version. However, the educated superin- 


auenti 


tendent of the institution is not much 
impressed by the problem, and he may 
explain to the boy that turbation 
does him no harm, even though the law 
penalizes him for his public exposure. 
The superintendent may let it be known 
among his officers that masturbation 
seems to him to be a more acceptable 
form of sexual outlet than the homosex- 
ual activity which involves some of the 
mates of the institution, and he may 
even believe that he has actually provid- 
ed for the sexual needs of his wards by 
making such a ruling. On the other 
hand, the guards of the institution, who 
are the officials most often in contact 
with the inmates, have lower-level back- 
grounds and lower-level attitudes toward 
In consequence, they con- 
nue to punish inmates who are discov- 
ered masturbating as severely as they 
would punish them for homosexual 
activity." 
SEX AND THE MILITARY 
Though Kinsey does not explore the 
matter to any degree, nteresting to 
note the extent to which the sexual at- 
titudes that have long prevailed in all 
the branches of our military service re- 
flect, even at the upper echelons, prej- 
udices peculiar to the lower educational 
level in society as a whole. The U.S. 
Armed Forces have traditionally taken 
n extremely permissive attitude toward 
nonmarital coitus: Free contraceptives 
are issued to all servicemen on request, 
less of age, rank, or marital statu: 
and there were instances during World 
War H in which military bases overseas 


sanctioned and controlled houses of pros- 
titution in their 

Evidence of homosexuality automati 
cally precludes a man from military serv- 
ice, however; and a single homosexual 
act by any member of the Armed Forces 
is sufficient cause for a dishonorable dis- 


n single out, with 
acy. the majority of the men who 
have had some homosexual experience 
since the ranks of our Army, Navy, / 
Force and Marines would be severely de- 
pleted if the one male in every three 
who has engaged in such activity was not. 
permitted to serve. 

In response to any suggestion of a 
possible negative correlation between ho- 


accu 


mosexuality and military prowess, a his- 
torian would be apt to point out that 
Julius Caesar, onc of the foremost mili- 


Imost as well 
1 the bedroom 


tary men of all time, was 
known for his conquests 
—with male and female alike—as for 
those on the battlefield (Caesar 
ferred to by his soldiers as "the husband 
of every woman and the wife of every 
man”). A sociologist might add that 
some of the fiercest fighters in the world 
belong to Arabian tribes that are noto- 
riously homosexual. And a psychologist 
might suggest that the U.S. Armed 
Forces, or the military of any country, 
probably includes a higher proportion 
of males with homosexual experience 
than is to be found in society at large, 
since any protracted sexual segregation 
invariably leads to increased homosexual 
behavior. 


was re- 


“How'd it go, dear?" 


167 


PLAYBOY 


168 higher edu 


A more remarkable lower-level sexual 
prejudice in the military is the attitude 
toward masturbation, which is consid- 
ered due cause for the rejection of a can- 
didate for the U.S. Naval Academy at 
Annapolis (any candidate "shall be re- 
jected by the examining surgeon for . . . 
evidence of . . . masturbation"—U.S. 
Naval Acad. Regul., June 1940). If the 
inability to pinpoint the homosexual 
historics of men being considered for the 
armed services is fortunate, the futility 
in any examining surgeon's attempt to 
weed out Naval Academy aspirants who 
masturbate must be considered the 
height of good luck—for if he were suc- 
cessful, Annapolis would be a lonely 
place; masturbation is commonest 
among college-level males and candi- 
dates for the Academy would have to be 
found among the sparse two or three 
percent without such experience. 


SOCIAL LEVELS & JUDICIAL JUSTICE 


In a further consideration of the rela- 
tionsl between law enforcement and 
educational background in society at 
large, Kinsey states: "On sex cases, the 
decisions of the judge on the bench are 


often affected by the mores of the group 
from which he originated. Judges often 
come from better educated groups, and 


their severe condemnation of sex offend- 
em is largely a defense of the code of 
their own social level, Lower-level indi- 
viduals simply do not understand the 
bitter denunciations which many a 
judge heaps upon the lower-level boy or 
girl who has been involved in sexual re- 
lations. ‘They cannot see why behavior 
which, to them, seems perfectly natu 
and humanly inevitable should be p 
ishable under the law. For them, there is 
no majesty in laws which 
tic as the sex laws. Life is 
sex laws and the upper-level persons who 
defend them are simply hazards about 
which one has to learn to find his way. 
Like the rough spots in a sidewalk, or 
the trafic on a street, the sex laws are 
things that onc learns to negotiate with- 
out getting into too much trouble; but 
that is no reason why one should not 
cwalks, or cross streets, or 
a 1 relations." 
As Kinsey notes, the influence of class 
mores is strikingly shown by a study of 
the decisions which arc reached by judges 
with different social backgrounds. There 
is still a portion of the legal profession 
that has not gone to college and, parti 
ularly where judges are elected by popu- 
lar vote, there are some instances of 
judges who have originated in lower 
social levels and acquired th 
training by office apprenticeship or n 
school courses. In addition, the GI Bill 
has made it possible for a number of vet- 
erans of the armed services from lower 
socioeconomic levels, who would not 
normally have been able to afford a 
ion. to continue into col- 


lege and postgraduate training. Sexual 
attitudes and patterns are established at 
an early age, however, and the individu- 
al most often carries the prejudices of 
his own social background with him for 
ifetime, even though the increasing 
social mobility of our society may have 
permitted him to advance to an upper 
socioeconomic or educational level. 

‘The significance of the background 
becomes most apparent" Kinsey states, 
when two judges, one of upper level 
and onc of lower level, sit in alternation 
on the same bench. The record of the 
upperlevel judge may involve convic- 
tions and maximum sentences in a high 
proportion of the sex cases, particularly 
those that involve nonmai inter- 
course or prostitution. The judge with 
the lower-level background may convict 
in only a small tion of the cases. The 
lowerlevel community recognizes these 
differences between judges, and express- 
es the hope that when it is brought to 
trial it will come before the second 
judge, becausc ‘he understands.” The ex- 
perienced attorney similarly sees to 
that his case is set for trial when the 
understanding judge is on the bench. Pa- 
role officers and social workers who inves- 
tigate cases before they are decided in 
court may have a good deal to do with 
setting a particular case before a particu- 
lar judge, in order to get a verdict that 
accords with the philosophy of their (the 
parole officers’) background. 

"Judges who are ignorant of the way 
in which the other three-quarters of the 
population lives, naively believe that the 
police officials are apprehending all of 
those who are involved in any material 
infraction of the sex laws. If the commu 
been aroused by a sex case which 
volved a forceful rape or a death 
following a sexual relation, the judge 
may lead the other public officials in de- 
manding the arrest of all sex offenders 
in the community. Newspapers goad the 
police, and there is likely to be a wave of 
arrests and convictions which carry max- 
imum sentences, until the wide scope of 
the problem becomes apparent to even 
the most unrealistic official . . ~ 


SOME CONCLUSIONS 


Dr. Kinsey sums up: “Eighty-five per- 
cent of the total male population has 
premarital intercourse, 59 percent has 
some experience in mouth-genital con- 
arly 70 percent has relations with 
prostitutes, something between 30 and 45 
percent has extramarital intercourse, 37 
percent has some homosexual experience 
nd] 17 percent of the farm boys have 
nal intercourse. All of these, and still 
other types of sexual behavior, are illicit 
activities, h performance of which is 
punishable as a crime under the law. 
"The persons involved in these activities, 
taken as a whole, constitute more than 95 
percent of the total male population. 
Only a relatively small proportion of the 


ani 


males who are sent to penal institution 
for sex offenses have been involved in 
beh r which materially different 
from thc bchavior of most of the males 
in the population. [Thus] it is the total 
95 percent of the male population for 
which the judge, or board of public safe- 
ty, or church, or civic group demands ap- 
prehension, arrest, and conviction, when 
they call for a cleanup of the sex offend- 
ers in a community. It is, in fine, a 
proposal that 5 percent of the popula- 
tion should support the other 95 percent 
in penal institutions. The only possible 
defense of the proposal is the fact that 
the judge, the civic leader, and most of 
the others who make such suggestions, 
come from that segment of the popula- 
tion which is most restrained on nearly 
all types of sexual behavior, and they 
simply do not understand how the rest 
of the population actually live 

And it can be stated, in addition, that 
since the publication of the Kinsey re- 
ports, in 1948 (Male) and 1953 (Female), 
the legislators, judges, police officials, 
and other assorted defenders of public 
irtue no longer have the excuse of igno- 
ance to justify their intemperate and 
phumane attempts at sex suppression 
The extent and variety of human sex- 
ual behavior is now an established sciep- 
fic fact, widely published and well 
publicized. Whenever a person i: 
arrested, tried, or convicted for commit- 
ting a sexual act of the kind we have 
been discussing here, those in authority 
re blatantly ignoring the evidence that 
a majority of our society regularly en- 
gages in similar activity. 

Our officials should be prepared either 
to imprison all of us—or none of u: 


now 


We can think of nothing more fitting, 


as a conclusion to this installment, than 
these words from Dr. Alfred Kinsey: 
‘Somehow, in an age which calls itself 
scientific and Christian, we should be 
able to discover more intelligent ways of 
protecting social interests without doing 
such irreparable damage to so many 
dividuals and to the total social organi- 
zation to which they belong.” 


In the next installment of “The Play- 
boy Philosophy,” Editoy-Publisher Hugh 
M. Hefner offers specific suggestions for 
a more rational set of U. S. sex laws, and 
discusses the problems of prostitution 
and juvenile sex crime. 

See “The Playboy Forum” in this issue 
for readers’ comments—pro and con—on 
subjects raised. in previous installments 
of this editorial series. Two booklet re- 
prints of “The Playboy Philosophy"— 
the first including installments one 
through seven and the second, install- 
ments cight through twelve—are avail- 
able at $1 per booklet. Send check or 
money order to vLaysoy, 232 E. Ohio 
Street, Chicago, Hlinois 60611. 


JEWISH MOTHER 


a child every day; if you don't 
w what he's done to deserve the 
ating, he will." A slight modification 
gives us the Jewish mother's cardi 
rule: "Let your child hear you 
every day; if you don't know wl 
done to make you suffer, he w 
To master the Technique of Basic 
Suffering you should begin with an in- 
tensive study of the Di n commercials 
"vision. Pay particular attention to 
ace of the actor who has not yet ta 
. Note the squint of the cyes, 
the furrow of the brow, the downward 
curve of the lips—the pained expression 
which can only come from eight un- 
drained. s 
This is the Basic Facial E: 
Learn it well. Practice it befor 
several times a day. If someone should 
catch you at it and ask what you are 
doing, say: 


"Im fine, 
will go awa 


nothing at all, it 


This should be l softly but audibly, 
should imply suffering without express- 
ing it openly. When properly executed, 
this is the Basic Tone of Voice. 

Here are some practice drills: 

(1) Give your son Marvin two sport 
shirts as a present. The first time he 
wears one of them, look at him sadly 
and say in your Basic Tone of Voice: 


(continued from page 97) 


“The other one you didn't like?” 


(2) Borrow a tape recorder and prac- 
ses until you. 


tice the following key ph 
can deliver them w 
fectioi 


(a) "Go ahead and enjoy yourself.” 
(b) "But be careful.” 

(c) "Don't worry about me.” 

(d) “I don't mind staying home 
alone. 
(c) "I'm glad it happened to me 
and not to you.” 


(8) Remember, the child is 
formed, emotionally unstable, ignorant 
creature. To make him [eel secure, you 
must continually remind him of the 
things you are denying yourself on h 
count, especially when others are p 

And here are Seven Basic Sacrifices to 
Make for Your Child: 

(1) Stay up all night to prepare him a 
big breakfast. 

(2) Go without lunch so you can put 
an extra apple in his lunch pail. 
sive up an evening of work with 
a charitable institution so that he can 
have the car on a date. 

(4) Tolerate the girl he’s dating. 

(5) Don't let him know you fainted 
twice in the supermarket from gue. 
(But make sure he knows you're not let- 
z him know.) 


an un- 


(6) When he comes home from the 
dentist, take over his toothache for him. 

(7) Open his bedroom window wider 
so he can have more fresh air, and 
close your own so you don't use up the 
supply. 

Wherever possible, make your old 
clothes do the job of new ones. Old 
clothes are more substantial than new 
ones, anyway, because in the old days 
they made things to last. Be an example 
to your family in this area. Be certain, 
of course, that they are aware of your 
sacrifices: 


“Well, I'm glad to say I won't be 
needing a new winter coat this year 
after all.” 

“Oh? How's that, 

“I glued the Women's 
the Sunday paper inside the 
of my old on 
toast.” 


Esther?” 
tion of 


If this has not left the desired impres- 
sion, follow it up a few days later with 
a seeming, contradiction: 


ell, I finally broke down and 
did it. I bought something for my- 
sel," 

"Good. What did you buy, Es- 
ther?" 

“I hated to spend the money, be- 
lieve me, but today I bought a small 
roll of Scotch tape to hold my stock- 
ings together.” 


For an autographed print of the Hardwick Blazer Girl (le 
Of our store nearest you, send coupon to Hardwick Clothes, Cleveland, Tennessee 


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169 


Should no old clotnes or hand-me- 
downs be available, then you will have 
to think about buying new clothes at a 
regular store. If no onc in your family is 
in the garment business, ask your drug- 
gist or the vegetable man to suggest the 
name of a store he's heard of. There's no 
point in going to a store that does not 
have a strong recommendation. 

When you take your child to the store, 
keep these important points in mind 

(I) Never buy a color that will show 
the dirt. 

(2) Never buy a fabric that will wear 
out. 

(8) Never buy a style that is apt to 
change. 

(4) Never buy a garment that fits—it 
should always be two or three sizes too 
large so that the child can grow into it. 

The most efficient way to buy clothes 
for any child below the age of 22 is to 
utilize him merely as a dressmaker's 
dummy and to address all questions 
about the fit or the appearance of the 
garment directly to the salesman: 


PLAYBOY 


“Tell me, how does it fit in the 
crotch?” 
“It looks pretty good from here, 


Should the child object to any gar- 
ment that has been selected for him, ask 
the sales n if he talked to his mother 
like that when he was a boy. Never fear. 
The salesman will not let you down. 

Just as Mother Nature abhors a vacu- 
um, the Jewish mother abhors an empty 
mouth. Ït shall therefore be your pur- 
pose to fill every mouth you can reach 
with nourishing food. 

At mealtimes, be sure there is a con- 
uous flow of food from stove to se 
ing platter to plate to mouth. If anyone 
should be foolish enough to decline a 
particular dish (c.g. potatoes) proceed 
4s follows: 

(1) Find out whether he has 
ational objections: 


any 


"What do you mean no potatoes, 
Irving —you think I'm trying to poi- 
son you?" 


(2) Suggest that he take only a small 
amount às a compromise: 


“Take only a sliver of the pota- 
toes, then. 
Il right. But remember, only a 
sliver. 


(3) You may now proceed to fill his 
plate with potatoes. The instant he has 
crammed down the last one, you must be 
ready t 
(4) Offer him a second helping: 
“There, I told you you'd like it 
once you tasted it. All right now, 
you're ready for seconds? 
"God, no. 


Here you must really be on your toes. 
170 Between your question and his answer, 


little more than one microsecond will 
clapse. Within that microsecond, you 
must scoop all the rest of the potatoes 
out onto his plate and make the turn 
ck to the kitchen. 

When the last crumb has been cleared 
from all plates by means of vague ref- 
erences to privation in Europe, you are 
ready for the real test of your art. Begi 
h a general all-inclusive warning: 


"I am now ready to begin serving 
third. helpings 


Immediately switch from the general 
to the specific. Select your quarry: 


“Eddie, 1 can tell you are ready 
for a third helping of chicken." 

“Believe me, Sylvia, if 1 took one 
more piece of chicken I would 
sprout feathers.” 


The next step in the ritual calls for a 
statement about your quarry addressed 
to the spectators: 


“Eddie doesn’t like the 
cook chicken. 

"Em crazy about 
cook chicken, Sylvi 
not eat another particle wi 
bursting." 

“You sce, I happen to know that 
chicken is Eddie's favorite dish. 1 
prepared it specially for him—but 
do you think he cares? Eddie, tell 
me. You like chicken?" 

"You like my chicken?" 

“Yes, yes." 

“You are too [ull to eat any 
more?" 

Yes, yes, yes." 

1 right. This 1 can u 
s to me I 
this I can understand. It's not like 
you are asking me to throw it out, 
fier all. All sight. (Pause.) So PI 
vrap it up in wax paper and you'll 
take it for later." 


the way you 
- I simply can- 
thout 


Your job as hostess is not complete 
when your guests have been properly 
fed. You must sce to it that they are also 
ntertained. 

Your family and friends will expect 
you to be able to relate amusing: stories 
which you have heard at the butcher 
shop, at a meeting of Hadassah, or 

pre- 
vious gathering of these same people. 
Familiarize yourself with the following 
formula for successful storytelling and 
no time at all you will have a wid 
spread reputation as a raconteuse. To be- 
gin the telling of any story: 

(1) Ask whether anybody has heard it 
before. 


which your husband has tokl at 


ten, you all know the story 
about the old Jewish man? 
It is important that this initial query be 


general as possible, so that anybody 
who has heard the story before should 


not recognize it and hence have it 


spoiled for him. The next step 


(2) Ask someone else to tell it. 


isten, it's a very funny story. 
About an old Jewish man. Morris, 
you tell it.” 
"I don't know 
mean, Esther." 
"Of course you know. Don't you? 
The story about the old Jewish 
man. Go ahead, you tell 
You know I cant tell a story 
properly.” 
This modesty is very becoming to a per- 
former and will surely be countered with 
heartfelt cries of denial from your au- 
dience. You are now ready to: 
(3) Explain where you heard the story. 


the story you 


“All right. This story I heard oi 
inally from Rose Melnick. You 
know Rose? No? Her husband is in 
dry goods. Melnick. You know the 
one? All right, it doesn't matter to 
the story, believe mc. Anyway, Rose 
Melnick heard it from her son. 
ymour, a lovely boy, really. 


A noseandthroat man. Seymour 
Rosen—you know the name?” 
By now your audience bei 


sufficiently prepared for the story and 
will be anxious for you to begin. Go 
ahead and tell it, but be sure to: 

(4) Begin the story at the end. Pro- 
fessional comedians call the end of the 
story “the punch line.” Since this is usu- 
ally the funniest part of the story, it is 
logically the best place to sta 


“Anyway, there's this old Jew- 
ish man who is uying to get into 
the synagogue during the Yom Kip- 
pur service, and the usher finally 
says to “AIL right, go ahead 
in, but don't let me catch you pray- 
ing. (Pause) Oh, did I mention 
that the old man j nts to go 
and give a message to somebody 
the synagogue? He doesn't actu: 
want to go into the synagogue 
pray, you sce. (Pause. Frown) V 
a minute. I don't 
tioned thar the old man 
have a ticket for the service. 
know how crowded it always is on 
Yom Kippur, and the old man 
doesn't have a ticket, and he ex- 
plains to the usher that he has to go 
into the synagogue and tell some- 
body something, but the usher isn't 
going to let him in without a ticket. 
So the old man explains to him that 
its a matter of life and death, so 
then the usher thinks it over and he 
says to the old man, ‘All right, go 
ahead in, but don’t let me catch you 
praying.” (Pause, Frown. Stand and 
begin emptying ashtrays) Ach, 1 
don't think I told it right. Morris, 
you tell it. 


You 


Sooner or later, to go to a fine univer- 


Sity or to accept an attractive. position 
with an out-of-town firm, one of your 
children may ask to leave the home. 

As soon as possible after the child has 
moved into his new quarters, pay him a 
visit and do the followin; 

(1) Bring food. He docs not know 
where to buy any in a strange city and is 
starving. Tell him how thin he looks. 

(2) Take everything off his shelves 
and out of his drawers and line them 
with oilcloth. 

(3) Wash his floor. 

(4) Rearrange his furniture and buy 
plastic slip covers for everything. 

(5) Go out and get him a warm sweat- 
er, a pair of galoshes, a pair of gloves, 
a and (if the temperature there 
ever falls below 50 degrees) earmuffs. 

(6) If he has plastic dinner plates, say 
he needs something more substantial 
and buy him china ones. If he has china 
ones, say he needs something more func 
tional and buy him plastic ones. 

After you have returned home, you 
may call up his professor or his employ- 
er, introduce yourself, tell him how tired 
your son looked when you saw him and 
suggest that he not be made to work so 
hard. 

There are only two things a Jewish 
mother needs to know about sex and 
marriage 

(1) Who is having sex? 

(2) Why aren't they married? 


Since it is by now apparent that every- 
one in the world is determined to have 
some kind of sex, it will therefore be 
your duty to make sure that everyone 
gets married. And what more logi 
place to start than in your own home? 

It is never too early to begin prepar- 
ing your son for marriage. At the age of 
eight or nine, start to develop in him an 
appreciation for the good grooming hab- 
its which will help him to win the hand 
of a capable young woman in marriage: 


ch! Look at your cars—what 
girl in her right mind would ever 
marry a boy that has wax in his 
ears?” 


Develop his poise in a similar manner: 


“stand up straight and don't 
slouch—what girl in her right mind 
is going to marry a hunchback?” 


By age 12 or 13 the child is ready for 
his first social encounter with the oppo- 
site sex. Arrange a party for young pco- 
ple at your home. 

If he appears hesitant to meet the 
young ladies, steer him over to several of 
them and urge him, under your breath, 
or in audible whispers from a few pices 
off, to invoduce himself. If he remains 
reticent, smooth the way over those first 
few embarrassing moments by introduc- 
ing him yourself: 


‘This is 
stands like 


my son Marvin who 


hunchback. 


By the time your son gets into high 
school, he will be going out on regular 
dates and will very likely insist on sclect- 
ng the girls himself from among his 
classmates. Do not discourage this, but 
try to find out something about these 
girls for his own protection. Ask him: 

(1) “This girl, she's Jewish?” 

(2) "Whats the family's name?” 

(3) "What was it before? 


By now your son is in college and dat- 
ing quite seriously. If he is no longer liv- 
ing at home, your task will admittedly 
be more difficult, but by no means im- 
possible. You will still arrange to spend 
vacations togcther, and you will still 
have the telephone and the U. S. Mails 
at your disposal 

Your son will probably have a young. 
lady friend whom he particularly ad- 
mires. As before, be sure of her back- 
ground, but now the questioning should 
be on a more sophisticated level: 


(1) “This girl, she's Jewish?" 

(2) “She gets good marks in school?” 
(3) “She smokes cigarettes in mod- 
eration 
(4) "She drinks liquor in modera- 


(8) “What kind of a girl smokes cig- 
arettes and drinks liquor? 


helps "educate" your hair, 
grooms naturally, 


prevents drying 1.00 


Oa Cice rim that crisp, 


brisk, bracing—the original 
spice-fresh lotion 1.25 


ends drag, pull, 
speeds up 
electric shaving 
1.00 


S 


AFTER SHAVE 


clean masculine aroma! | SHULTON 


im 


PLAYBOY 


172 


Invite your son’s girlfriend to your 
home for dinner so you will have a 
chance to determine whether she is good 
daughter-in-law material. To permit a 
completely objective evaluation, never 
speak to the young lady directly, bur use 
your son as an intermediary: 


“Does she like mashed potatoes?” 


‘This form of address is known as The 
Third Person Invisible. Should your son 
ever decide to marry the girl, this device 
apts very nicely to Basic Daughter-in- 
Jaw Technique, otherwise known as The 
I-Forget-Her-Name Gambit: 


“Is what's-he: 
coming over also? 


ne—is your wife 


IL. by the time your son is out of col- 
lege, he is still not married and he is not, 
God forbid, a homosexual, you must be- 
gin to "Take Steps. 

Speak to friends of yours who have 
daughters his age or maybe a few years 
older or a few years younger, and uy to 
get the young people together. Pass the 
word around that your son, though a tal- 
ented, intelligent young man, is unable 
to find 


why a nice boy like that is not married. 
Also speak of the matter to your son. 
Perhaps the idca of marriage has merely 
slipped his mind. Remind him. Often. 
blic to show that 
the matter too 


Excuse me, miste 
You talking to me, lady?” 

"This is my son, Marvin." 

"So? 

“Twenty-five years old. A master's 
degree in Romance languages. A 
careful driver. Tell me something 
confidentially.” 

"Yeah. 

"Would any young lady give her 
right arm to have a wonderful young 
man like that for a husband?" 

“Search me, lady." 

"Yes or no? 

“I suppose yes." 

"Marvin, did you hear? Listen 
what the man is telling you.” 


Suddenly, one day your son brings a 
strange girl over to the house and intro- 
duces her as his fiancée. What do you 
do? 

You say hello to her, ask her what the 
weather is getting 10 be like outside, ex- 
cuse yourself for a moment, lead your 
son olf to a corner of the room, begin to 
sew a button on the sleeve of the coat he 
is wearing, and say to him as follows: 


t0 marry 


"Mary 

this girl" 

ah. Not so loud, Ma 
"She's very pretty, Marvin.” 
“Yeah. Look, it's not very polite 

t0—— 

Maybe even a little too pretty, 


You intend 


you know what 1 mean?" 

"Ma, look——" 

“I hardly know what to tell you. 
(Pause. Finish sewing the bulton, 
begin to bite off the thread, stop, 
study the end of it and look up into 
his face.) Look, you're still so young. 
You know what I mean? What's 
your big hurry to get married all of 
à sudden?" 


You have now done all you can be ex- 
pected to do for your son. It is time to 
give some thought to your d 

You are fortunate in that you w 
able to meet and personally evaluate all 
the young men who come to the house 
to take her away. 

Greet cach young man at the door. 
Appraise him closely from head to foot. 
Ask him the following: 


(1) “You're Jewish?" 
(2) "What's your family’s name?” 
(8) "What was it befor 


If the young man is driv 
sure to add these important querie: 


(1) "You know how to drive?” 

(2) “You have a driver's license?” 
(3) "How [ast do you drive?” 

(4) "Your father knows you're out?" 


Even if the young man has answered 
all your questions in a satisfactory man- 
ner, it is not a bad idea to frown, avert 
your head and sigh: 


“Ach, I don't like it, I tell you. 
You youngsters all drive like m 
. You'll wind up in some ditch 
my words. (Pause. 
Smile, frowning.) All right, all right 
—go, drive careful, and have a won- 
deiful time. And I'm going to worry 
myself sick about you, | promise 
you 


As they are about to go out the door, 
turn to your daughter and whisper 
loudly in her ear: 


"Stay all the way on the right side 
of the scat, if you know what's good 
for you." 


If your daughter should not be mar- 
ried by the time she is out of college, ap- 
ply the same tactics to her as to your 
son, with these subtle variations: 

Seek out any young man at a party or 
other social gathering and begin to sell 
him on your daughter. Speak of her c: 
cellent disposition. Point out her many 
physical attributes: 


face like a Vermeer—you know 
Vermeer?’ 

“Yes, the painter.” 

“And teeth? Did you see how 
ight her teeth are?” 
Well, as a matter of- 

“Three thousand dollars } spent 
having her teeth straightened—four 
years at the orthodontist’s so her 
mouth could close.” 


su 


“Look, I really have to be——” 

“A beautiful girl. Beautiful. 
(Pause.) The only thing, she is may- 
be a tiny bit heavy in the bust. 
(Smile.) It runs in the family. 


Calling attention to a slight imperfec- 
tion often lends just the right note of 
credibility to your sales pitch. In any 
case, do not beat around the bush. The 
young man will appreciate your frank- 
ness. Be direct. Beg him to invite your 
daughter our— 


“For a malted-milk shake, I'll pay 
for it myself.” 


Should the young man actually come 
to the house to take your daughter out, 
be sure to reassure him: 


“You're not making a mistake, 
believe me. She refuses forty dates a 
week.” 


How do you behave when you discov- 
er your daughter necking in the livi 
room? Wait until the young man has 
gone home, go into your daughter's 
room and say to her as follows: 


“Miriam. 
"Oh. hi, Ma.” 
“Miriam, I saw. I saw what you 
were doing in there.” 
Oh." 
Miriam, who taught you this?" 
‘Oh, for God's sake, Ma. I'm a 
big girl now." 
iriam, we are decent people. 
We have always tried to teach you 
the right thing. How could you do 


“Do you know what your father 
will do when I'll tell him? Do you?" 
No, bu 

"He will have a heart attack, 
thats what he will do. I promise 


Ma, you don't have to 


Not only that, just think what 
the neighbors would say if they 
knew. 

Look 

“For this I had your teeth straight- 
ened? For this I bought you contact 
lenses? For this I paid good money 


to have them teach you to speak 
French. 
Ma——" 


“Ach, 1 don't know what to do 
with you. (Pause) My own daugh- 
ter, a streetwalker. (Pause) 1E you 
have any consideration for your 
parents at all, you'll do the only de- 
cent thing.” 

"Whar's thai?" 

You'll leave 


this house and 


THE PLAYBOY ART GALLERY 


VAN GOGH SELF-PORTRAIT By Jim Beaman 


THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF THE TEEVEE JEEBIES 


salire By SHEL SILVERSTEIN 


“And this time watch out for the goddamn fountain!” “Doc . . . you're sitting on my appendix ...!” 


“You know, Pierre, the farther we go out here in the "Look, baby, after handing you a check for a million 
desert, the more you fascinate me!” bucks ain't I at least entitled to a little kiss?!” 


“But... I thought the double-breasted “Gentlemen, I'm going to do something now that may 
suit was back in style . . ." appear, to some of you, to be unorthodox medical 
procedure. 1 believe, however, that it will help 


174 restore her will to live . . 


tongue-in-cheek dialog for television’s late-night movies 


“I couldn't find a file, but I thought “OK, OK—next time I promise we won't 


you might like the cake anyway.” use any starch . . . 1" 


“What the hell do you think you're doing, Bernie? "Quick, Sam, get back to tlie dining 
We're on the ground floor!” car and push oatmeal!!” 


PLAYBOY'S TEEVEE JEEBIES, A PERMANENT COLLECTION OF SHEL SILVERSTEIN'S FAR-OUT CHANNEL CAPTIONS, 
IS NOW AVAILABLE IN BOOK FORM FROM PLAYBOY PRESS, 232 E. OHIO STREET, CHICAGO, ILL. 60611, FOR $I. 


PLAYBOY 


176 Bar, complete with illum 


PLAYBOY IN JAMAICA 


the ocean, A pair of Bunnies were at 
the field to greet them when they landed: 
Playmate-Bunny Jean Cannon (Miss Oc- 
tober 1961) and Bunny Diane Stewart, 
who had been flown down from the 
Miami Playboy Club for publicity and 
promotion photos; they began waving 
and running across the field, their famil- 
ncongruous but wel- 
come sight D^ this tropic island settii 

A party had been arranged for that 
evening in order to meet the local digni- 
taries and the press. Someone suggested 
a bite to cat, but Hefner wanted to take 
a tour of the Hotel and its sun-drenched 
grounds before anything else. Preuss and 
Morton accompanied him, and Art Min- 
er, Director of Playboy Club design, fol- 
lowed them with a pad and pencil. 

The Hotels rooms were everything 
they had said, being 30 fcet long and 16 
feet wide, with step-down living rooms, 
atios 10 feet wide, and baths 
equipped with sunken Grecian tubs, all 
tile and 9 feet long by 4 feet wide. Mor- 
ton pointed out a large low structure ad- 
jacent to the Hotel. ‘This would be ideal 
for a shopping arcade where guests 
might purchase all manner of luxury 
items—British tweeds, silver, diamonds, 
Swiss watches, leather goods, camcras, 
bone china, French perfumes, binocu- 
Jars, fine liquors, crystalware—from all 
over the globe. Since Jamaica enjoys 
free-port status, with no duty on these 
luxuries, shops could sell at prices half 
those in the States. 

Entering the Hotel through the main 
lobby, they made their way down a flight 
of steps to a large hall abont half the 
size of a basketball court. This would be- 
come the Living Room, a place for quiet 
ng over a drink with 
‘The back of the room, un- 
der the overhang of the upper lobby, 
would be turned into the Den, with card 
and billiard tables. 

The grand tour led next through a 
wide corridor to the circular dining 
room. 

“I think this would make an ideal VIP 
Room,” Morton said. 

“It could be decorated in Wedgwood 
blue and white,” Miner added, “with 
blue carpeting, sconces, dark-blue table- 
cloths and lightblue napery.” The room 
—one of the largest on the island, seating 
450—seemed perfect. Continental cuisine 
ad tangy native dishes could be high- 
ghted on the menu, Morton pointed 

ut. At the front of the proposed VIP 
Room, French doors open onto a terrace 
that offers a stunning view of the blue 
Caribb s breath-taking,” Donna 
said, and Hefner nodded in agreement. 

From the dining room they walked 
down one flight to the Shipwreck Bar, 
nd all agreed that there would be no 
difficulty in turning it into a PI 


(continued from page 102) 


encies of Playmates on the walls. The 
ar opens onto a terrace bordered by 
shrubbery and overlooking the Olympic- 
sized 50-metcr pool. Here, lunchcons 
e served and guests gather at night to 
dance, enjoy an. outdoor bullet, and 
watch the native floorshows. 

“We'll want Bunny lifeguards for the 
pool,” Hefner said. “Maybe we can de- 
sign a special Bunny bikini for them.” 

“With waterproof Bunny t nject- 
ed Lee Wolfberg with a laugh. 

A pair of championship clay tennis 
courts are hidden by some trees at one 
side of the pool, and theres a top Jamai- 
can tennis pro on hand to give [ree les- 
sons. There's also an archery range on 
the grounds and a nine-hole golf course 
nearby. 

The group walked on past the pool to 
the beach tower, which houses an auto- 
matic elevator to whisk guests to the 
sunny beach below. At the bottom of the 
tower is a thatched-roof bar on the coral 
strand. When the Playboy Club-Hotel is 
in full swing, there will be weekly burro 
races with parimutucl betting, torchlit 
beach parties after dark complete with 
native entertainment, outdoor barbecues 
and Bunny beachguards. 

AIL agreed that this was an aquatic 
sportsman’s paradise. With swimming, 
snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing and wa- 
ter skiing already available, it would be 
mple to add a glass-bottomed boat for 
sightseeing over the coral reef that shel- 
tered the cove, pedal boats, sailboats and 
a sportfisherman or two for deep-sca an- 
gling. Hefner suggested that they re- 
ne the cove Bunny Bay and check the 
cost of building a small marina at one 


side of the beach so that visiting yachts- 
men could tie up. 
Now everyone was talking at once— 


ing suggestions, expressing their cn- 
thusiasm in superlatives that were un- 
precedented even for Playboy, where, 
after a decade of unprecedented publish- 
ng and Club success, the extraordinary 
is almost commonplace. 
Every Playboy Club keyholder will 
nt to vacation here,” Hefner ex- 
claimed. "It can become a meeting place 
for keyholders from all over the world. 
When we add the fun and excitement of. 
The Playboy Club to whats already 
here, this will be one of the most fabu- 
lous resorts in the world!" 
‘There'll be nothing else Li 
where.” Shel ten said. 
“My only problem,” Hef added, “will 
be trying to explain to the staff of the 
magazine why it isn't a good idea to 
move our editorial offices down here.” 
“Well, for one thi said Preuss, 
"you'd never get an issue out on time. 
All the editors would be down on the 
beach, or chasing the bikinied Bunnies 
around the pool. Now with my bu 
department, it might just make some 


c it any- 


voice cracked as he ended. 
nd began to laugh. Every- 
onc was fecling wonderful. The tropic 
sun warmed them. This was another 
world; the pressures and problems of 
everyday life seemed a million miles 
away. This was a paradise . .. a Playboy 
paradise. 

The hotel is set on ten acres of gently 
sloping land, surrounded by jungle on 
three sides and the ocean on the fourth, 
with the main building, the dining and 
drinking areas, pool, cabanas and beach 
all on separate levels. The grounds are 
handsomely landscaped with tropical 
greenery; there are winding paths, and 
water fountains, and exotic flowers and 
foliage, and numberless palm trees. 

The tour ended with a look at the 
night club. Like the dining room and 
pool, it is the biggest on the island; it 
was decided that it would be rer 
the Playroom, again carrying through 
the Playboy Club nomendature fa- 


sense. . ." Hi 
the sentence. 


miliar to keyholders. The group dis 
cussed entertainment policy for the 
boy Club: shows in the 


and on the Patio every 
night, using the best in native 
talent, as well as the most entertaining 
acts from the Playboy Club circuit in the 
States. There would also be entertain- 
ment down on the beach: a calypso 
band, limbo dancers and the like. The 
night club—the Playroom—would be re- 
served for really big name Tony 
Bennett, Vic Damone, Sammy Davis Jr, 
maybe Sina 

‘The afternoon had disappeared and it 
was time to be getting back to the Hotel, 
to get ready for the party. "There are a 
pair of penthouse suites on top of the 
Hotel. One had been reserved for Hef- 
ner; the other for Hugh Downs and his 
wife, Ruth, friends of Hef's, who had 
been ted down for the week. As Hef 
showered and dressed, he made mental 
notes on details that could be added to 
the penthouse suites to make them the 
ultimate in luxury living. 

The beginning of a crowd had gath- 
ered at 7:30 p.m. in the Shipwreck Bar. 
From a landing off the stairway to the 
dining room, the Shipwreckers. a native 
calypso group, played Yellow Bird. The 
landing would also serve as a stage, 
giving the guests a good view of the 
fire-dancing and limbo exhibitions to 
come later, Now the maracas flashed and 
rattled, the rumba box boomed and the 
penny whistle and guitar carried the 
melody of one calypso tune after an- 
other—Mary Ann, Star O, Matilda. 

Present at the gathering was the Hon- 
orable Chester Touzalin, Custos Rotulo- 
rum, representing the Government of 
Jamaica in the area. He was there with 
his wife, who stood listening attentively 
as Touzalin asked Hefner questions 
about his plans—and how many Bunnies 
would be at the Jamaica Playboy Club. 

“I can't be sure until we do a full 


nalysis of the operation," Hefner said, 
"but we have over five hundred Bunnies 
working in the nine Playboy Clubs in 
the States. We'll want to use both Ja- 
maican girls and girls from the U.S. tor 
the Club here. And if those I saw at the 
rport are any indication, I'd say Jamai 
can girls are among the world's loveliest.” 

“Will you use Bunnies for room serv: 
icc?" Mrs. Touzalin asked, having spot- 
ted Bunnies Diane and Jean in costume. 

“No,” said Hefner, “just in the dining 
and dr arcas, in the night club, at 
the pool and at the beach." 

If Mrs. Touzalin had any vague reser- 
vations about the role of the Bunnies in 
the Playboy Glub operation, they had 
disappeared by evening’s end. She en- 
gaged Bunnies Diane and Jean in an ex- 
tended conversation that ended with her 
requesting, and receiving, Diane's berib- 
boned Bunny tag (worn by each Bunny 
to identify her by name) as a souvenir 
for her teenage daughter. "Shell be the 
most envied girl in school when she 
wears this,” Mrs. Touzalin enthused. 

"You'd better be careful,” her hus- 
ned. "You may be starting a 
age fashion fad.” 
hook his head. “The Bunnies 
ly permitted to give them 
. Your daughter will have the only 


A reporter from the Daily Gleaner, 
and another from the Star, Jamaica's 
largest papers, came over to talk to Hef- 
ner. The Star man asked why he had de- 
cided to go into the resort business. 
"Thats casy,” Hefner said. "The first 
Playboy Club grew naturally out of 
vLAYBOY itself. We'd been writing about 
the best in entertainment, fine food and 
drink; we'd been running picture stories 
on beautiful girls and elegant bachelor 
apartments. Why not a gentlemen's club 
that incorporated the same ingredients? 
Make it admission by key only, for those 
whose appreciation of such things 
matched our own. 

“Now, let's extend the Playboy Club 
concept a bit, Add to the basic elements 
I've just mentioned the romance of a 
Club far removed from the surroundi: 
of office buildings. Put such a Club on 

tropical island steeped in ro- 
mantic legend; supply every modern lux- 
ury imaginable, yet retain the full flavor 
of the traditions of the island. Serve its 
e foods and beverages along with 
the finest in urban cuisine. Surround a 
beautiful women, the 
sounds of its music. Give him beaches so 
isolated that he and his playmate can 
bask and frolic as they please. 
jamaica is as close to a tropic island 
paradise as you can find anywher 
world today, with the advani 
being only seventy-five minutes from Mi- 
ni and three-and- f hours from 
New York. That's why we're here.” 

Someone wondered aloud how success- 
ful Playboy in Jamaica would be. 


Douglas Vaughan, retired. British Army 
officer, who owns an 800-acre banana 
plantation in the arca, and R. Alan Phil- 
ip, publisher of Jamaica Pictorial Pano- 
Tama, voiced as one the opinion that it 
could only be a resounding smash. They 
also felt, they said, that the tourist busi- 
ness of the entire island would benefit 
from Playboy being there. The Jamaican 
government apparently feels the same 
way about it, giving Playboy and its c: 
ecutives the warmest welcome they have 
received anywhere. 

Major Vaughan brandished a well. 
worn Playboy Club key and exclaimed, 
mustache bristling, "Wait till Noel Cow- 
ard hears there's a Playboy Club down 
the highway. He'll be here every night. 
Coward and lan Fleming each have 
homes nearby and, in fact, the first 
James Bond movie, Dr. No, was filmed 
near the Hotel. A few days after Hef- 
ners return to Chicago, he received a 
personal note from Fleming comment- 
ing on the amount of excitement Play- 
boy's coming to Jamaica was causing. 

Someone mentioned that Elizabeth 
Taylor and Eddie Fisher had honey- 
mooned at the Hotcl. Someone else said 
they thought that it was a very romantic 
spot anyway. 

The Hefner party now induded Don- 
na Michelle, magnificent in a chiffon 
gown, and Hugh and Ruth Downs, who 
lad just arrived by car from Kingston. 
Downs gave Hefner the latest issues of 
the Star and the Daily Cleaner which he 
had brought from Kingston. Both car- 
ried stories about the Playboy arrival. 
The Star's read: “The Playboy agree- 
ment to take over the Reef Club has de- 
lighted the Director of Tourism, Mr. 
John Pringle. Mr. Pringle told of the 
enormous promotional potential of the 
Playboy organization. The organization, 
he said, was known throughout North 
America, but Jamaica was the first coun- 
try chosen by Playboy for a Hotel and 
a Club. He added: “This is international 
news of consequence.” 

“Mr. Morton had earlier told of his 
admiration for Jamaica and why the 
country had been chosen for another 
phase of Playboy International's opera- 
ns. The Club already has 300,000 key- 
holders. He said: ‘Jamaica is a young, 
vibrant, growing nition and we believe 
it will prove to be an ideal tourist loca- 
tion for our keyholders.'” 

"The story in the Gleaner made page 
onc, and next to a large photograph of 
Bunnies ran the headline: “PLAYBOY 
BUNNY JOBS FOR JAMAICAN GIRLS." The 
story went on to requirements for 
being a Bunny, outlined the strict rules 
for Bunny behavior, then told about the 
plans to hire Jamaican girls. “To the 
query as to whether Playboy chooses col- 
ored Bunnies, Mr. Morton said there are 
colored Bunnies in the Americ 
and the same policy 
Jamaica. A number of Am 


nies will serve in Jamaica along with the 
local gi 

Hugh Downs told Hefner, “I don't 
think you could have made a better 
choice as far as location goes. You've 
picked the most beautiful nd in thc 
West Indies and you're in the area that 
should become the Ri a of the Carib- 
bean in the next few years." 

Downs went on to explain how the 
trade winds cool the island even in mid- 
summer, that the ycar-round temperature 
averages 78 degrees. “Since Columbus 
discovered Jamaica in 1494," said the 
erudite Downs, “people of all kinds have 
come here looking for cither peace or 
excitement. The English drove the 
Spaniards out in 1655, not far from here, 
at Runaway Bay. That's how it got its 
name—the Spanish left in a hurry- 

The Shipwreckers were playing a lim- 
bo for a troupe of barefooted Jamaicans 
dressed in clam-digger trousers and 
ruffled-sleeve shirts. Each member of the 
troupe moved in turn under the limbo 
pole which was moved lower and lower. 
Now the leader of the group took a pole 
that had been wrapped in rags and 
doused it with kerosene; he placed it so 
that each end rested on the mouth of an 
empty beer bottle, then he ignited the 
rags. When the flames licked across the 
entire length of the pole the band began 
a frenzied beat, The man proceeded to 
slither step by step under the flaming 
rod, through a gap from floor to flames 
of no more than nine inches, the 
audience burst into wild applause. 

As a capper to the party, the Ship- 
wreckers had prepared an appropriate 
calypso ditty. The leader sang: 


“In January of Sixty-Four 

Hugh Hejnah come to Jamaica’s shore. 

He bring to our island in de sun 

A new idea called Playboy fun. 

Sing de chorus: 

Play—boy, Play—boy, Playboy in 
Jamaica. 


Soon we all will roll in clovah 
When Playboy's He[nah he take ovah. 
He bring to our island plenty money 
But best of all hc bring de Bunny. 
Sing de chorus: 

Play—boy, Play—boy, Playboy in 


Jamaica. 


It wasn’t difficult for Hefner to make 
his decision. He confirmed what his key 
Club executives, Morton and Preus 
were already confidently counting o 
made it official, and they immed 
ately set up meetings to work out the de- 
tails of the acquisition. The official 
opening of the Jamaica Playboy Club- 
Hotel is planned for late December. 


Reservations for the Jamaica Playboy 
Club-Holel may be secured by writing to 
Travel Director, Playboy Clubs Interna- 
tional, 232 E. Ohio Street, Chicago, 
Illinois 60611. 

E 


177 


PLAYBOY 


178 and potential on the bench. Consequ 


PIGSKIN PREVIEW 


by making our annual outon-«limb 
picks. Each year we choose a recent door 
mat that we have a hunch is about to 
go on a rampage. We're often right. Last. 
year our pick was Illinois and some peo- 
ple thought we were candidates for the 
funny farm. This time we have no less 
than five outon-wlimb picks, but that's 
the kind of season it’s going to be. So 
watch these teams: Indiana, Kentucky, 
Southern Methodist, UCLA and Gi 

ia. They're all going to raise a lot 
xpected hell. 


INDEPENDENTS 


Syracuse 9-1 Holy Cross 
Penn State 64 Buffalo 
Pittsburgh — 64 — Rutgers 
ren 55 Villanova 

55 Colgate 
Boston College 7-2 


IVY LEAGUE 


Princeton 11 Brown 
Columbia 72 Dartmouth 
Yale. 63 Harvard 
Cornell. 6-3 Pennsylvania 


YANKEE CONFERENCE. 


Massachusetts 7-2 — Rhode Island 
Naine 62 New Hampshire 
Vermont 53 Connecticut 


MIDDLE ATLANTIC CONFERENCE. 


Delaware $1 Gettysburg 
Bucknell 73 Lehigh 
Temple 63 Lafayette 36 


TOP PLAYERS: Mahle, Little, Nance, Cripps 
(Syracuse); Klingensmith, ‘Ressler (Penn 
St); Staubach, Donnelly, Freeman, Downing 
(Navy) Stichweh, Zadel (Army); Mazurek, 
Popp (Pitt); Whalen (Boston C); Lilly, 
Kavanaugh (Holy Cross); Ward, Brendel 
(Rutgers); Holly (Buffalo); Atkinson (Villa- 
nova); Roberts, Malmstrom (Columbia); taca- 
vazzi (Princeton); Parry (Brown); Molloy 
(Penn) Boyda, Grant (Harvard); Lawrence 
(Yale); Clarke, Klungness (Dartmouth); 
Whelchel, Meers (Mass); DeVarney, Smith 
(Maine); Bianco (Delaware); Mitchell (Buck- 
nell); Ward, Boyd (Gettysburg): Kish, Noel 
(Lehigh); Petro, Speers (Temple). 


Syracuse seems to be back on top. 
There is little, except a possibly thin 
rior line, to keep the Orange from 
g one of this year’s best teams. In 
addition to the most impressive stable 
of backs im memory, Coach Schwartz. 
newcomer Floyd Little, who 
may kick up more fuss in his sophomore 
year than any Orangeman since the mag- 
nificent Ernie Davis. If the line play can 
be kept from going sour, Syracuse has 
got it made in 1964. 
"The four other members of the East's 
nial big five, Penn State, Pius- 
Army and Navy, all suffered 
grievous graduation losses. As a result, 
n football may take a bit of a dip 
this season after its best year in a long 
while. All four of these schools have 
excellent first teams, but lack experience 
th 


(continued from page 112) 


ly, the survivors of the fall campai 
ill be determined by the usual 
tangibles plus the excellence of new- 
cor ate, Rip Engle, 
problems, will go 


remarkable Gary Klingensmith who has 
me deafness to become one of the 
alfbacks in the country. Gary 
als in the huddle, keys his 
movements to the li and never 
for Gary 
will be rravsov All-America offensive 
center Glenn Ressler, a vicious blocker 
nd tackler who Engle says is the best 


purek, tops in the school’s history, 
but he will be surrounded by so many 
faces that last year's excellent record 
may be imposible to duplicate. Still, 
the Pitt squad is always deep and the 


Panthers will probably finish strong 
Navy retur 


s its biggest guns from 
ch Wayne Hard 
key men do not make 
The Middies are bilge water thi 
the first unit, 
Staub 


at Donnelly returns, backed up by 
Danny Wong, probably the country's 
only Chinese fullback, But he's a good 
one, and so is center Don Downing, 
rrAYBOY S Sophomore Lineman of the 
Year, who is said to be the fi 
soph lineman in many years. 
Middies have trouble because of the 
thin reserve team and a schedule that is 
much meatier than last year's 

In potential, Navy and Army are look- 
alikes, with quarterbacks representing 
the main difference between the two 
teams. Staubach is a brilliant passer and 
elusive scamperer, while Stidiweh is an 
old-fashioned quarterback who does ev- 
erything methodical but killingly 
effective way. When they met for a show- 
adelphia last year, Stich- 
ed to pick up most of the 
bles. Despite its few lettermen, it 
must be remembered that Army has a 
g system second only to that of 
re Deli costosa Pe Tende 
been busy stockpiling for a couple of 
years. Since some of the new hands may 
turn out to be better than the departed 
ones, the West Pointers could be hell 
on wheels by the end of the season. If 
look out in 1965! 
independents who may 
proved are Boston College, 


e of joining 
n power cartels. They have 
rly everyone back, a dormitory full 
of bright new faces, and they are all 
bigger and speedier than ever. 
The Ivy League is always a handi 
per's nightmare, and the s 
year is wilder than ever. La 


ap- 
tion this 
scason's 


weak teams are all much stronger, and 
recent powers Dartmouth and Har 
€ been decimated by grad 
Harvard has had two excellent freshman 
teams row and rumors around the 
Ivy circuit say the Crimson is loaded. 
But we doubt it. Green quarterbacking 
and line play will have to ripen in sup- 
port of superior running if. Harvard is to 
do better than break even. Princeton is 
the only team among last year's top 
three that looks as good as ever. The 
Tigers are the sole major team left ii 

the country still using the original Cro- 
Magnon single wing offense, and with a 
juggernaught fullback like Cosmo Taca- 
vari, they make the creaky old system 
work as though General N xb had 
just invented it. We have a nostalgic 
affection for the single wing, so it would 
be real fun seeing the Tigers gather in 
the laurels this year. And they have a 
good chance. 

Princeton's biggest threat seems to 
be Columbia. The Lions at last have 
some linemen to stack in front of one 
of the finest backfields ever seen at the 
Heights. praysoy All-America Archie 
Roberts is, we believe, the best of a dozen 
excellent quarterbacks 
try this y Roberts is the ni 
to a oneman team since Frank Mei 
well graduated from Yale. year 
Archie led his team in passing, running, 
punting, punt returns, kickoff returns, 
interceptions and scoring, missing out 
only in receiving: that's something even 
a quarterback as great e couldn't 
manage. 

Delaware will continue to dominate 
the Middle Atlantic Conference, though 
not as overwhelmingly as last year when 
all the other teams, except Bucknell, 
down and died. Lafayette and 
Lehigh will be vastly improved, and 
both Laf: seus nd Gettysburg will field. 
acrial c emple, with a limp 
schedule, will probably have its second 
innit row, an almost un- 
precedented situation, Once more, Dave 
Blue Hens should 
win most of their games by lopsided 
nd cop the Lambert Cup for the 
ight time, Bucknell has the best 
chance of being the spoiler. 

Massachusetts will again be the ter- 
ror of the Yankee Conference. The Red- 
men, who were undefeated in 1963, are 


blessing of a punch of sophs. How- 
ever, defending champions have recently 
found the going rough in the Yankee 
Conference. Maine took the crown in 
1961, then hit bottom in 1962. New 
Hampshire was undefeated nd 
finished last the following year. This 
Il, Maine has the man power to unseat 
Massachuseus, and the new coaching 
T at Connecticut may pull some sur- 
prises. Rhode Island finished fast last 
son and could be a real contender. 
mont was tough to handle in 1963 


and if they can find somcone to replace 
Ken Burton they'll be in the thick of 
the race. New Hampshire, suffering from 
graduation losses, will have a hard time 
climbing from the cellar. 


THE MIDWEST 


BIG TEN 
Illinois 72 Wisconsin 54 
Indiana &3 Northwestern — 54 
Michigan. 63 Michigan State 3-6 
Ohio State 6-3 lowa 2-7 
Purdue 54 Minnesota 19 


MID-AMERICAN CONFERENCE 
Ohio U. 82 Kent State 54 


Bowling Green 7-3 Western Nich. 54 
Miami 6-4 Toledo 21 
Marshall 55 

INDEPENDENTS 
Notre Dame — 55 Detroit 5 
Xavier 55 Dayton 1 


TOP PLAYERS: Butkus, Price, Hansen, Gra 
bowski, Custardo, Sutton (Illinois); Nowatzke, 
Branch, Croftcheck (Indiana); Timberlake, 
Ward, Yearby (Michigan); Shay, Kumiew- 
ski, Hadrick (Purdue); Barrington, Kelley 
(Ohio State); Pickens, Jones (Wisconsin), 
Schwager, Myers, Murphy, Banaszek (North- 
western); Juday (Mich. St). Snook, Giaco- 
bazzi (lowa); Hoovler (Ohio U.); Cunningham, 
Williams (Bowling Green); Kellermann (Mi- 
ami); Cure, Mahone (Marshall); Asbury 
(Kent); Gray (Toledo); Mainer (Xavier); Beier 
(Detroit); Bitsko (Dayton), Costa, Snowden, 
Wolski (Notre Dame). 


The day Ara Parseghian arrived on 
the Notre Dame campus the university's 
scismograph registered 8.3 on the Rich- 
ter Scale, and there have been reverbera- 
tions ever since. All spring the air above 
the hallowed Irish practice fields was 
blue with Ara’s commentary. Parse a 
and his crew took charge like hijacking 
pirates and seldom have so many learned 
so much from so few. The hiring of 
Parseghian was in itself a monumental 
—and healhy—break with tradition, 
and all over South Bend there is the 
feeling that the Era of Ara has ar- 
rived and the elusive new days of glory 
are just ahead. It won't be this ycar, how- 
ever, because the Irish ranks are still too 
thin for the murderous schedule. But 
since Parseghian is a master of the art of 
getting the most from limited material, 
Notre Dame fans can at least look for- 
ward to a few pleasant surprises. 

Last year, as we menuoned earlier, 


Illinois was our annual out-on-a limb 
pick, even though it had won only a 
total of two games the previous two sea- 
sons. The Illini took the Big Ten title 
and beat Washington in the Rose Bowl 
However, the same forces that worked 
for Ilinois in 1963 are arrayed against 
it for 1961. With the return of 
nearly all the best talent and the top 
serg leadership of Pravmov All 
America lincbacker Dick Butkus, Ilinois 
will be the prime target of all its op- 
ponents. Still, we're persuaded to tab 
them for top place in the league, by vir 
tuc of their sheer talent. If they make it 


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179 


PLAYBOY 


they will be the first pre-season popular 
choice to take the Big Ten tide in a 
generation. 

If Illinois falters, the team st to 

succeed is Michigan. The Wolverines 
have been just shy of greatness for two 
years now, and with an almost unprece- 
dented wealth of material on hand, this 
could be the year for cohesiveness to set 
in. Watch for a prime crop of sophs at 
n Arbor, the slickest of whom is half- 
ltogether, it should 
be the year of the Elliott brothers in the 
Big Ten. Pete at Illinois will be tying 
to beat Bump at Michigan for the first 
time, and Bump will be tying to bump 
Pee from the championship. 
Believe it or not, Ohio State football 
going to be even duller this year than 
the past. Wayne Woodrow Hayes, in- 
ventor and leading proponent of the 
Neanderthal T offense, builds his whole 
team with tackles, fullbacks and one 
place kicker. This year Woody is shyer 
than ever of offensive talent, but his big 
bruising defensive stalwarts will be even 
more impregnable. Result: football circ: 
1913. 


surprise in the Big Ten is Indians 
Purdue not far behind. The Hoosiers 
have been on the threshold for tiree 
but tough breaks, probation and 
fourth-quarter exhaustion have dogged 
them. Indiana may have as good a hrst 
m as school in the country, and. 
if Coach Dickens can mold some vre- 
serves to spell his first stringers, the 
squad could enjoy its best season in 
decades. Purdue, with better depth, will 
have good defensive and offensive units. 
Q ck Doug Holcomb will take 
over this year and with great receivers on 
hand, Purdue may surprise everyone by 
elding a suong passing team. 

Northwestern and Wisconsin, having 
succumbed in 1963 to the usual hex 
visited upon Conference favorites, find 
themselves shorn of vast quantities of 
speed, beef and plain cannon fodder. 
Northwestern, with fewer returning let- 
termen than its had in y s well 


set in the bac hurting up 
front. However, can mold a 
Big Ten line out of last year's leltovers 


id raw sophs, new Coach Alex Agase is 


the A cynical pro scout once told. 
us, “IE you have a bad quarterback, you 
lose. If you have a good quarterback, 


you probably lose. Jf you have a brilliant 
quarterback, you win.” If this were al- 
ways true, Northwestern would take 
every game, but even Tom Myers can't. 
throw bombs behind a leaky line. Still, 
the Wildcats bear watching this year. No 
one expects much from them because of 
the large number of gradua 


n perfect position to 
hwhack some teams that will be look- 
ing the other way. Strange as it may 


180 scem, wc may look back at the end of 


the season to find that the Northwestern- 
Indiana game on September 96th was 
decisive. 

Wisconsin, pruned of much speed, will 
field a top-notch passing attack. A brace 
of new quarterbacks with advance rave 
notices will help launch the Badgers’ 
new look. 

All teams seem to go through power 
cydes with some degree of regul 
and Michigan State, Iowa and N 
ta seem to be hitting bottom this year. 
lowa's uaditional supply of blazing 
speedsters is at low ebb, due in no small 
part to recruiting difficulties brought on 
by stricter academic demands. Michigan 
State will be slower and greener than 
anyone can remember. Duffy Daugherty 
always has plenty of unproven man 
power iu the wings, however, and some 
of it is sure to be excellent. So th 
Spartans could surprise us like they 
last year. 

, weep lor Minnesota. Murray 
Warmath, onc of the top five conches in 
the land, has knottier problems dh 
even he can solve. A couple of bad re 
cruiting years, a number of academic 


of good high school football players in 
the north county have all combined to 
Jeave Murray with less 
with than he's ever h 


lp seeker, a sp that 
the cold country, will be 
howling before the year is out and 


Warmath will probably again be sub- 
jected to that special brand of verbal 
barbarism peculiar to. Minnesota 
There is a group of teams playing i 
the Midlands that gets far less attention 
from the national press than it d 
serves. Playing in the shadow of the 
Ten, each year they field teams that 
could hold their own in most of the 
counuy's major conferences. The Mid- 
American Conference plus independents 
Detroit and Xavier are growing in pow- 
er and presti year with Da 
not far behind. 


will be much stronger this year and 
some of the country’s prime gridders 
are in this circuit. Jim Gray of Tole- 


Willy Asbury 


ing the benefits of a fabulous recruiting 
ed it with 50 sopho- 


power in a couple of years. Although 
Ohio rates as top dog in the Mid Amer- 


Michi: 
on top. 


erences, and Toledo has a group of West 


Point transfers who got sick of the mili- 
tary life and followed new Coach Lauter- 
bur to greener pasture: 


THE SOUTH 


INDEPENDENTS 


Memphis State 9-1 — Miami 19 
Georgia Tech — 7-3 Southern Miss. 3-6 
Florida State 7-3 


‘SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE 


Mississippi — 91 ‘Florida 55 
Auburn 82 Vanderbilt 45 
Alatama 13 Georgia 37 
Kentucky T3 Tennessee 28 
Louisiana State 64 — Tulane 28 
Mississippi State 6-4 
ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE 

North Carolina 8-2 — South Carolina 5-5 
Duke 1-3 — Maryland 55 
Clemson 55 N.C. State — 37 
Virginia. 55 Wake Forest — 19 


SOUTHERN CONFERENCE 


Virginia Tech 73 55 
West Virginia 64 Virgi itary 26 
Richmond 55 William & Mary 3-7 
The Citadel 55 — Davidson 36 


G. Washington 55 


TOP PLAYERS: Davis, Gresham, Curry (Geor- 
gia Tech); Schuh, Brooks (Memphis State); 
Biletnikoff, Hermann (Florida State); Brown, 
Hindman, Harvey (Mississippi); Sidle, Fred- 
erickson (Auburn); Dupree (Floridai; Ste- 
phens, Kearley, Namath, Bowman (Alabam 
LaBruzzo, Schwab, Screen, Prudhomme 
(Louisiana State); Bird, Antonini (Kentucky); 
Watson, Neville, Granger (Miss. St) De- 
Long (Tennessee), Rissmiller (Georgia); Wil- 
lard, Hanburger (North Carolina); Barlow 
(N. Carolina St); Glacken, Curtis, Bracy 
(Duke); Reeves (S. Carolina); Kowalkowski 
(Virginia); Grane (Clemson); Schweickert 
Mirtinia Tech); Leftridge (West Virginia); 
McNeil (George Washington); Murphy (Cita- 
del); Stoudt (Richmond). 


Ty END 
ia Tech withdrew from the South. 
eastern Conference. Tech had long been 
at odds with several of the other schools 
over adn ve fundamei The 
SEG appears to be run not by Com 
missioner Bernie Moore or the univer 
ty presidents, but by a few all-powerful 
coaches who don't give a damn about 
anything but football, These coaches 
have for years engaged in the seamy prac 
tice of recruiting far more players than 
their Conlerence-imposed limit of athlet 
ic scholarships can support, and then lit 
erally drumming out the boys who don't 
make it athletically. Sometimes they even 
run sophs and juniors out of school in 
order to vacate scholarships. Tech's Bob 
by Dodd, on the other hand, harbors the 
quaint idea that educational values have 
some importance and that once having 
awarded a scholarship to a student, the 
school has an obligation to sec him 
through. With a strict interpretation of 
entrance requirements and an efficient 
stem, Tech keeps nearly all its 
boys in school, even those who flunk 
football. Dodd demanded reform along 


“We changed our minds.” 


PLAYBOY 


182 


the lines of Big Ten recruiting rules, was 
voted down, and walked out. The 
Southeastern Conference was the heavy 
Joser in this divorce. It lost a lot of cl. 

With 12 schools in the Southeastern 
Conference nything resem a 
round-robin schedule has been impossi- 
ble. Ycar after year, December arrives 
and we are still wondering who is really 
the Conference champion. When irs 
possible for two or even three teams to 
finish undefeated, the championship is a 
joke. A few of the strongest teams care- 
fully avoid playing one another. The 
crcam-puff schedules Ole Miss has been 
enjoying have been due in part to an 
undisguised Freezeout by some other 
Conference schools. Georgia Tech flatly 
refuses to play the Rebels, having sched- 
uled them last in 1926. "That's ridicu- 
lous. The SEC should do what the 
Southern Conference did a few years ago: 


“Tulane? No, my boyfriend goes to Yale, too . . - 


split itself in half. Then each new lea 
could take on a couple of deserving 
new teams. A logical arrangement, both 
for geographical and scheduling reasons, 
would be Tennessee, Vanderbilt, Ken- 
tucky, Georgia and Florida in one league 
with Florida State and Miami as new 
members. Perhaps even Georgia Tech 


could bc prevailed upon to return to 
the fold. The other group would cor 


t 
of Alabama, Auburn, Mississippi, Mis- 
sisippi State, LSU and Tulane, with 
Southern Mississippi and Memphis State 
providing new blood. 

If any one team dominates the circuit 
despite the present unwieldy setup, it 
should be cither Ole Miss or Auburn. As 
I, they won't play each other. Ole 
Miss has to get top preseason billing 
from sheer weight of material. The 
Rebs’ schedule is a bit more respectable 
this season, largely because yesteryear's 


» 


pushovers are showing muscle. Coach 
Johnny Vaught is surrounded by a small 
army of blue-chip players. His third 
team is probably better than half the 
first teams in the county. How Ole 
Miss, with an enrollment of 3800 men— 
most of them from the home state— 
gets this kind of material year after y 
is amazing. Leading a line that would 
the pro leagues are 
PLAYBOY cas Stan Hindman 
and Allen Brown. With this kind of beef 
up front, Ole Miss will field wl 
primarily an infantry attack despite th 
presence of passer Jim Weatherly. Coach 
Vaught, now the winningest mentor i 
the nation, is due for national honors 
this season; we tab him Coach of the 
Year. 

Only we saw Auburn coming in 1963, 
but this year no one will be surprised by 
the Tigers. Jimmy Sidle is the only quar- 
terback ever to lead the nation in rush- 
ing, and he has a whole herd of superb 
backs running with him, including 
‘Tucker Frederickson, who seems to do 
almost everything better than anyone 
clse. The line, last year's vulnerable 
is this year’s strong suit. So the Tigers 
should be tougher than ever. 

Alabama should be only a little less 
potent, even though this is the youngest 
edition of the Crimson Tide in five years. 
Coach Bear Bryant insists that Joe Na- 
math is the best q 


arterback in the 
country, but Joe won't 


have much 
help in the running department. The 
Bear always crects a lethal defense, so 
nobody is going to rum up much of a 
score on the Tide. 

The LSU line was gutted at gradua- 
tion, but, like Alabama, the Bengals are 
so deep in reserves the difference won't 
be noticed by the end of the season. IE 
quarterback Pat Screen regains his 
health and the injury jinx takes a recess, 
LSU should match last year's remarkable 
performance. Mississippi State, unaccus- 
tomed to such riches, is wallowing in 
agile, € and versatile combat 
ants. However, the Bulldogs must run a 
murderous end-of-theseason — gantlet 
against Alabama, Auburn, LSU and Ole 
Miss, which no team in the country could 
survive. Since Florida has most of its 1963. 
running backs in tow, including tremen- 
dous fullback Larry Dupree, maybe the 
Gators will jell this season, a feat the 
failed to accomplish during most of I 

r. 

Tennessee ia have reached 
a talent. nadir, so their fans will have to 
tighten belts and regard 1964 as a re- 
building year. Both schools are st 
over fresh with energetic young coaches. 
Vince Dooley at Georgia must pick up 
the pieces of the Bryant-Butts imbroglio, 
rebuild morale, and trj to w 
cruiting battles. Both he and new Coach 
Doug Dickey at Tennessee inherit lean 
squads, and Dickey has the additional 
problem of installing the T formation at 


t 


n some re- 


a school where the single wing has been 
sacrosanct for 30 years. This is the sad 
end of a magnificent but. outdated — 
era. Yet it holds hope for future glory. 
A rare bright spot this year is the return 
of PLAYBOY All-America guard Steve 
DeLong, an exceptional lineman who 
may lead the Vols to a few unexpected 
victories. Vanderbilt and Tulane, both 
having scraped bottom the last two sca- 
sons, are now well on the way back to 
distinction, Teams that e cither of 
them too lightly this fall are likely to be 
ambushed. ‘Tulane, especially, will show 
some new muscle in 1964, but the 
Greenies don’t have much of a chance 
inst & schedule that reads like a Kafka 
shtmare. Give Coach Tommy O'Boyle 
one more season, out, At 
Vanderbilt, Coach Jack Green has been 
conducting recruiting raids up in Yankee 
country, and the results will begin to 
show this fall. For wha 
Commodores should have the most spec- 
ticular kicking game in the country. 
"Ihe team to keep your eye on, if you 
like surprises, is Kentucky. Coach Charlie 
Bradshaw has been training this outfit 
like a Marine combat platoon, His re- 
cruiting patrols have made a series of 
succesful forays into Pennsylvania, and 
the Wildcats promise to be not only 
tough as leathernecks, but there are 


then watch 


it's worth, the 


quite a few of them for a change. Ken- 
tucky will have two of the finest half- 
backs in the country in Rodger Bird 
and Frank Antonini, rtaysoy’s Sopho- 
more Back of the Year. In short, look for 
Bradshaw's band of brigands to rip 
into some of the complacent glamor 
teams that have been victimizing the 
Wildcats in recent years. 

North Carolina is the team to beat in 
the Atlantic Coast Conference. Most of 
the muscle is back from the squad that 
engineered the impressive Gator Bowl 
trouncing of Air Force, and the Tarhecls 
look bigger and faster than ever. Top 
player on Coach Jim Hickey's team is 
praynoy All-America halfback Ken Wil- 
lard who wei; in at 225 and runs like 
‘Tarheels don't crum- 
an State, as they did 
I have their best season 


ple before Michi 
last year, they wi 
in I5 years. 

North Carolina State, which shared 
honors with its state cousin last year, 
has been hurt by graduation and will 
have a tough time in 1961. Clemson has 
similar problems. The Tigers flubbed 
last year’s opportunity for gr 
now look rather toothless. Veter 
Howard, long known for 
potent lines, will have to depend. mostly 
on backfield talent. Fullback Pat Crain 
will be one of the best in the country 


his 


if he can find any holes to run through. 

The folks at Duke are exuding 
confidence, and perhaps it is justified. 
‘The Blue Devils are much stronger than 
ast year, but will be vulnerable to inju- 

. The loss of onc or two key men in 
the backfield could wreck their scason. 
South C a should recover some 
prominence after a disastrous 1963 cam- 
paign, with the help of a phalanx of cx- 
cellent new men. Virginia and Maryland 
both look much improved, so look for 
ach of them to engineer some big upsets. 


Virginia has prospects for a happy fu- 
ture wi flock of good sophomores, a 
new offensive system and blossoming 


mo ake Forest, weary of losing 
games, is embarking on a major rebuild- 
ag program, headed by new Coach Bill 
Tate, late of Illinois. First step was to 
break the color barrier, and the first 
Negroes have been recruited, with more 
to come. It will be a couple of years 
before Tate’s new regime begins to show 
results, but the Deacons are definitely on 


their way up. 
Virginia Tech could be the class of the 
Southern Conference ain this year. 


Quarterback Bob Schweickert is one of 
the best in the land. Although West 
Virginia suffered from complacency last 
year, it does not plan a repeat per- 
formance. With enough raw material on 


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PLAYBOY 


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“And we are honored to have with us tonight, 
Dr. Carlton Farquhar, who will speak to us 
on the rising tide of conformity...” 


hand, the Mountaineers should be much 
improved. The rest of the Southern Con- 
ference looks weak. Citadel and George 
Washington, however, could become 
formidable by the end of the season. 
Richmond, with a more realistic sched- 
ule, should better last year’s record. 

Memphis State achieved major college 
status in 1960 and has lost only five 
games since that time. Last year, the 
Tigers were probably one of the ten 
strongest teams in the country, but the 
myopic post-season pollsters, who have a 
hard time seeing any but the tra- 
ditional glamor teams, ignored them. 
The Tigers will be just as lethal this 
year. The Memphis State line, led by 
PLAYBOY All-America tackle Harry Schuh 
and end Chuck Brooks, looks like a pro 
forward wall. The only problem Coach 
Spook Murphy has had in recent years is 
finding other teams to play against his 
fearsome aggregation. This season the 
Tigers are forced to play against South- 
crn Mississippi twice in order to fill their 
slate. But Memphis State is here to stay 
a national power and the other South- 
em teams can no longer look in the other 
direction and hope the Tigers will go 
away. 

Florida State will be vastly improved 
and is expected to compete with Mem- 
phis State and Georgia Tech for top hon- 
ors among Southern independents. The 
Sunshine State’s Seminoles have two 
quarterbacks, Steve Tensi and Ed Prit- 
chett, who should pass opponents dizzy 
this year. The rest of the squad is bigger, 
faster and meaner than ever. Everyone 
will be watching to see how Georgi: 
Tech does in its first season as an in- 
dependent. The Yellow Jackets lost 
several star performers, but the sopho- 


more crop is the best in years and during 
spring drills the Jackets looked very 
good. Miami, on the other hand, has en- 
countered lean days, and no one will be 
surprised by a repeat of last year's dis- 
tingly dismal record. The ranks 
are thin and the immediate prospects for 
new Coach Charlie Tate are dim indeed. 


THE NEAR WEST 
BIG EIGHT 


Oklahoma 91  lowa State 
Nebraska. 82 Colorado 

Kansas 73 Kansas State 37 
Missouri 64 Oklahoma State 37 


SOUTHWEST CONFERENCE 


Rite 82 Baylor 55 
Arkansas 82 Texas Tech — 45 
Texas 64 Texas A&M 37 
SNU 64 Texas Christian 3-7 


MISSOURI VALLEY CONFERENCE 


Cincinnati 82 louisville 55 
Wichita E North Texas St. 4-6 


Tulsa 


INDEPENDENTS 


Texas Western Sa West Texas St. 37 


Heuston 


TOP PLAYERS: Grisham, Neely, Burton, Mc- 
Quarters (Oklahoma); Sayers, Shinn, Schwe- 
da (Kansas); Kramer, Hohn (Nebraska); 
Vaughn, Berrington (lowa St); Roland, 
Lane, Otto (Missouri); Mitts, Dusenbury 
(Kansas St); Harper, Ward (Oklahoma St); 
Reese, Lewark (Colorado), Lamb, Caveness 
(Arkansas); McReynolds, Walker, Piper, 
Wayt (Rice); Sands, Nobis, Koy Harris 
(Texas); White, Roderick, Knee (SMU); El- 
kins, Maples, Marshall (Baylor), Anderson, 
Willis (Texas Tech); Hi Owe! 

Nelson (Cincinnati) 
wicz, Farr (Wichi 
(Louisville); Moore (N, Texas St). 


It’s almost like old times in the Big 
Eight. The team to beat is Oklahoma, 


but the Sooners' dominance won't be as 
easy to mai s it once was. The Big 
Eight is bulging with power and any one 
of the four top teams could wind up 
number one. Oklahoma is literally loa 
ed in every sense of the word, but unfor- 
tunately it is also top heavy with seniors. 
Senioritis is a tricky and unpredictable 
disease that strikes a few death blows to 
otherwise affluent aggregations every 
season. New Coach Gomer Jones will 
year a prosperous one 
good team morale. 
The Sooner line is anchored by rLayBoy 
All-America tackle Ralph Neely, 
the rest of the veteran line nearly 
good. pravroy All-America fullback J 
Grisham will provide most of the off 
sive punch, and quarterbai 
Ringer has regained his health after 
backing into an electric fan. 

Main threat to the Sooners will be 
Kansas, which has its usual quota of blaz- 
ing speed, mostly in the person of half- 
back Gale Sayers. Nebraska will probably 
fall short of last season's remarkable 
performance due to graduation losses. 
But the Cornhuskers are so deep in 
reserves, especially classy backs, that 
they'll be as good as ever by the end of 
fall, Nebraska football has been sen- 
ional since Coach Bob Devaney ar- 
rived two years ago, and judging from 
the new talent on hand, it will be that 
way for quite a while. If Missouri can 
find some new beef for the line to go 
with a superb backfield, it will be anoth- 
er happy autumn in Columb’ 
slight letdown 
are nearly always better than 


nyone 
expects, look for them to hold true to 
form. Snazzy speedster Johnny Roland 
is back, and passer Gary Lane looks bet- 
ter than ever. 

Oklahoma State, Kansas Sta 


orado have embarked on 
building programs and the first results 
are likely to show this year. But the com- 
petition is so strong from the top teams 
in the circuit that it will be a major a 
complishment for any of the three to 
have a winning season. By 1965, how- 
ever, the league should be so well bal- 
anced that anyone might finish on top. 

The Missouri Valley Conference will 
feature two of the flashiest passing teams 
in the country. Tulsa will build almost 
offense around brilliant qu: 
erry Rhome in an effort to cz 
s third straight natio 
- Cincinnati, on the other ha 
a good running game to go with 
ing of quarterback Brig Owens. 
with a surfeit of speed and experi 
the Bobcats should cop the champ 
ship. Wichita has so many talented trai 
fers from other schools to replace losses 
from last years cochampionship 
that the Shockers could be as good as 
ever, but the tough schedule will prob- 
ably preclude a good won-ost record, 
North Texas State still hasn't recovered 


s recent eminence, although it’s much 
nproved and should be hard to score 
on. So will Louisville's dinals, de- 
spite Charlie Mudd's t death last 

ebruary. Having a strong emotional 
impetus, they could erase last year's dis- 
mal. performance. 

"The Southwest Conference race will 
be the usual dogfight. Last season's heavy 
losers have grown new fangs, making the 
scrap more fun to watch than ever. 
Top team at season's end should be 
Rice, but don't bet moncy on it. 
kansas has the offense that was missing 
last ycar and the Razorbacks arc always 
brutal on defense. Ronnie Caveness is a 
superb linebacker and »ravsoy All- 
America end Jerry Lamb should make 
the passing game successful. With a 
talented bunch of sophs joining 17 of 
last season's top 22 players, depth will be 
a major strong point of the Razorbacks. 
The Rice Owls are loaded, too, and it 
Coach Jess Neely can find some tackles 
and a speedster or two to go with all 
that power running, they will be nearly 
unstoppable. Neely, having more talent 
than he's had in years, should celebrate 
is 25th season as head coach in style. 
Southern Methoe is the te 
The Mustangs have been ab 
ing for three d all the hard. 
work could p: g way in 1964. 
With A probation serving to make 
the gs angrier and more upset- 
minded than ever, they could become 
one of the big surprise teams of the 
year. Keep an eye on the Ohio State 
game September 26th. 

Baylor lost brilliant passer Don Trull, 
so most observers will consign the Bears 
to the lower ranks this season. But new 
quarte Marshall looks nearly 
as good s still have PLAYBOY 
All-America flankerback rence Elk- 
ins to do the catchin, ylor's colorful 
defensive unit, the "Chinese Baptists,” 
is a holy terror to opponents, so the 
Bears will be hard to score on. Despite 
the schedule, lor should be nearly as 
hot as it was last year. 

Both Texas Tech and Texas A&M 
will be suonger, but fans won't notice 
much difference because the opposition 
will also be tougher. 

Which brings us to Texas, and therein 
lies a quandary. On paper the Long- 
horns seem a good deal weaker than 
last year's National Champions. But 
es aren't played with scouting re- 
ports. There is a legend in the oil 
country that Coach Darrell Royal re- 
cruits outstanding high school players he 
can’t hope to use, just to keep the other 
teams from getting them. At any rate, 
Royal has so much unprobed depth on 
hand that no one can guess where he'll 
land, although it isn't likely to be in 
the second division. Royal must produce 
some good new linemen, and he probably 
will. The backfield looks more potent 
than ever except at quarterback. Texas 


probably won't win the Conference 
championship this year, but it will have 
much to say about who docs. 
Whoever arranged Houston's 
ochistic schedule must have been an in- 
corrigible optimist. The Cougars will be 
better than last year, especially if all the 
lame and halt from the 1963 nightmare 
return, but they won't achieve much up- 
grading in the wonost columns. Texas 
Western should give El Paso fans a hap- 
py autumn with the best team in years. 


mas- 


THE FAR WEST 
PACIFIC COAST 


Washington — 82 — Stenford 55 
California 64 Oregon State 55 
UCLA Or 


Iregon. 
Southern Cal 55 Washington St. 2-8 


WESTERN CONFERENCE 


Wyoming 82 New Mexico 
Arizona State 64 Utah 
Arizona 55 Brigham Young 


INDEPENDENTS 


Utah State 73 Colorado St 4-7 

San Jose St. — 73 Pacific 46 

nee Mexico St. E. Air Force 46 
Idaho 


TOP PLAYERS: Coffey, Douglas, Redman 
(Washington); Morton, Schraub (Cal); Nel- 
son, Haffner, Zeno, Altenberg (UCLA); 
Garrett, Fertig, Thomas (USC); Ragsdale, 
Chapple (Stanford); Washington (Oregon 
St); Berry (Oregon); Williams (Wash. St); 
Levine, Wilkinson (Wyoming); Briscoe, Hud- 
low (Arizona); Jefferson (Utah); Murray, 
Smith, Zecher (Utah St); Puster, Czarnota 
(Air Force); Leetzow, Litzinger (Idaho); 
Kroll (San Jose St); Burkett (Colorado St.). 


Pacific Coast football has be grow- 
ing steadily in power and prestige for a 
decade, and this year a lion's share of 
football’s spectacular events should oc- 
cur on the West Coast. For one thing, 
ns (Washington and Southern 
will no longer dominate the 
scene as they have in the recent past. 
Power will be more evenly spread from 
top to bottom, and only one team, 
Washington State, may be counted out of 
the championship race. Two of the most. 

coun- 
A and 
a, aa Stanford not far be- 
hind. Look for West Coast teams to 
bump off intersectional 
precedented numbers. 

As if to celebrate this renaissance, a 
reformation has been decreed. The qui 
reling faculty fathers have forgiven if 
not forgotten, and the hallowed Pacific 
Coast Conference has been remade. 

Washington gets the nod this year be- 
cause of momentum and man power. 
The Huskies wound up on top of the 
1963, despite crippling in- 
trous start. With a 
much deeper, more experienced and 
presumably healthier squad, they should 
be even harder to handle this s h 
Quarterback Bill Douglas and fullback 
Junior League Coffey—when well—are 


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peerless performers, and the Huskics’ 
line, led by Rick Redman and the Knoll 
twins, is one of the best in the land. Still, 
the perennial favorite's hex will be fol 
lowing Washington this ycar. Most likely 
to apply the whammy are UCLA, Cali- 
fornia and Stanford. UCLA, which 
administered a poetic coup de grace to 
Washington toward the end of last sea- 
son, has suffered few casualties by either 
combat or graduation, and is now ready 
to take on the whole league. The Bruins 
have high-velocity running in Byron 
Nelson and Mike Hafiner as well as a 
superb passing game in Larry Zeno and 
Steve Sindell. A deep and rugged linc, 
something new at UCLA, completes the 
happy picture. So, despite the schedule, 
look for spectacular improvement on last 
year’s 28 record. 
lifornia is an almost identical twin. 
The Golden Bears also have nearly all 
belligerents back from last year, plus a 
new coach and an excellent quarterback 
If head man Ray Willsey can make his 
take-over a smooth one, and if team mo- 
rale can be maintained, California could 
clobber a few of the impressive Fastern 
powers on the schedule. Watch the Hli- 
nois game on September 26th. 

If Stanford can find a quarterback and 
a few runners among a fine crop of 
sophs, the Indians will also improve 


NS 
S WA 


much over last year’s series of narrow de- 
feats. The line is tough and defense will 
be stalwart. There is a plethora of man 
power in the Indian camp, so perhaps 
this will be the year when ach John 
Ralston can put together the right 
combination. 

Southern California may be as strong 
as last year, but, like Washington, the 
Trojans face fierce opposition from 
fon s. PLAYBOY All-America 
halfback Mike Gameu is a mercurial 
and elusive runner, while flashy new 
quarterback Rod Sherman will help 
Craig Fertig run the attack. New hall- 
back Ray Cahill adds even more speed, 
but the center of the line must be rebuilt 
to spring all these runners loose. 

Despite the return of quarterback Bob 
Berry, Oregon will have a tough time 
celebrating readmission to the Pacific 
Coast league, The Webfeet have little 
depth beyond the first unit and will be 
easily weakened by injuries. Oregon 
State has two sharp new quarterbacks, 
Bob Grim and Paul Brothers, who threat- 
en to displace veteran Gordon Queen. 
The Beavers will also be bigger and fast- 
er than they were last year, but will have 
tough time posting a winning record 
against a rugged nationwide schedule. 
gton State will have to start all 


“Does she or doesn’t she? Don’t miss 
tomorrow's exciting lecture!" 


over from the bottom after losing 22 
lettermen from last season's disappoint- 
ing squad. New Coach Bert Clark [aces 
monumental. task. 

Wyoming will be the heavy favorite in 
the Western Conference. A herd of exp 
rienced veterans is returning, aided by 
outstanding talent up from Wyoming's 
bestever freshman team. The Cowpokes 
have had three years to master Coach 
Lloyd Eaton's flip-flop offense, and the 
big payoff should come this fall. Arizona 
State, although unaccustomed to losing, 
will have a hard time maintaining n 
tery in the cactus country, mainly be- 
cause such teams as Utah and Arizona 
are getting stronger. Arizona, in partic- 
ular, may fool us all this year. The re- 
quired elements are present, and if the 
Wildcats get off to a good start they 
could have a bi . The brightest star 
at Utah is end Roy Jefferson, said to be 
the best round football player in 
Utah's history. From here, Brigham 
Young still looks out of the race with 29 
lettermen missing [rom a team that 
posted a 28 record last year 

Air Force will have a rough time field- 
ing an offense as potent as the one oper- 
ated by nowdeparted. Terry Isaacson. 
The Falcons will have a strong ground 
game, but the passing department will be 
limp. Also, Air Force is getting into the 
real big time and the schedule is more 
ambitious than ever. If the Falcons win 
half their games it will be a great year. 
Both Idaho and Colorado State are on 
the way up. Last fall, Idaho posted the 
first winning season in a quarter of a 
century, and the Vandals look just as 
good this fall. Utah State won most ol 
its games last scason by outlandish scores 
and seems to be just as potent this year, 
despite the loss of quarterback Bill Mun- 
son. The 1964 Utags will feature a herd 
of stampeding runners to replace lust 
year's aerial circus. San Jose State and 
Pacific are sharing the West Coast foot 
ball revival. 


1 Jose, especially, shows 
signs of becoming a major factor on the 
West Coast. scene. 

So now that we—and all the other pre 
season prognosticators—have told you 
what is going to happen, how come the 
teams even bother to play their games? 
Because, as always, we will be right in 
some cases (most, we hope) and wrong in 
others. After all, it's the unexpected, the 
improbable and the unbelievable that 
make football such a great game. Before 
this season few Med 
teams will rise and smite the mighty, 
and a few gridiron Goliaths will fall with 
resounding thuds. And then what will 
happen? Twenty thousand Monday- 
morning quarterbacks will write us 
letters saying “1 knew it all along.” Nev- 
ertheless, we haven't man yet 
who got rich playing the weekly football- 
parlay cards. So don't try it. 


is over, a unher 


met a 


GROVER DILL 


(continued from page 153) 


bat rarely admit. Say, for example, about 
that beady-eyed, clawed and ravening 
carnivore, that incorrigibly wild, insane, 
scurrying little beast—the killer that is 
in cach one of us. We pretend it isn't 
there most of the time, but this is a silly, 
idle sham, as all male ex-kids know. They 
have seen it and have r from 
it more than once. Screa nto the 
night. 

One quiet summer afternoon, leafing 
ough a nature book in the library, 
with the sun slantii aken 
tables, I came across a picture of a 
ture called the Tasmanian dev 
glared directly at me out of the page, 
with an unwavering redeyed gaze. 3 
I have never forgotten it. 1 was loo 
at my own sou 

The Tasmanian devil is well named, 
being a nocturnal marsupial of extra- 
ordinary ferocity, being strictly carniv- 
orous, and, when cornered, fighting with 
a nuttiness beyond all bounds of reason. 
In fact, it is said that he is one of the 
few creatures on actu 
looks forward to being cornered. 

I looked him in the eye; he looked 
back, and even from the flat, glossy sur 
face of the pa per I could feel his burn- 


ng down on the 


ng rage, a primal fury that glowed 
whitehot like the core of a nuclear ex- 
plosion. A chord of understanding was 


struck between us. He knew and I knew. 
We were killers. The only thing that 
eparated us was the sham. He admitted 
it, and I had been attempting to cover 
up all of my life. 

I remember well the first time my own 


Tasmanian devil without 
amed out of the kness 
aled himself for what he was—a 
fanged and maniacal meat cater. Every 


male child sweats inside at a word that 
is rarely heard today: bully. That is 
not to say that bullies no longer exist. 
Sociologists have given them other and 
softer-sounding labels, "overaggressive 
child,” for example, but they all amount 
to the same thing—meatheads. Guys who 
grow up banging grilles in parking lots 
and becoming captains of industry or 
Mafia hatchet men, Every school had at 
least five, and they usually gathered 
followers and toadics like barnacles on 
the bottom of a garbage scow. The lines 
were clearly drawn. You were either a 
bully, a toady, or one of the nameless 
rabble of victims who hid behind 
hedges, continually ran up alleys, ducked 
under porches, and tried to get a con- 
nection with city hall—city hall being 
the bully himself. 

I was 13, and an accomplished alley 
runner who wore sneakers to school not 
from choice but to get off the mark 
quicker. I was well-qualified to endorse 
Keds Champions with: “I have outrun 
some of the biggest bullies of my time 


wearing Keds, 


Y X nd I am still here to tell 
the tale. 

It would make a great ad in Boys’ 
Life KIDS! When that cold sweat 
pours down your back and you are fac 


ing the moment of truth on the w 
home from the store, don't you wish you (IF NEED BE) 
had bought Keds? Yes, our new Bully- 
Beater model has been endorsed by ski 
ny kids with glasses from coast to coast. 
That extra fect may mean the 
difference between making the porch 
and you-know-what!” 

Many of us have grown up wi 
mental Keds d still ducki behind 
filing cabinets, water coolers and into 
convenient men’s rooms when that cold 
sweat trickles down between the shoul- 
der blades. My moment of truth was 
kid named Grover Dill. 


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What a rotten name! Dill was a run 
ny-nose type of bully. His nose was al- 
ways running, 
w 


even when it wasn't. He " 
a Ae 7 j i 9 Silver dollars 9 
a yelling, wiry, malevolent, sncevily Sa eee eg T EE MED 
nively bully who had quelled all insur- WERE RM PEE 

: iles 5 1. I did know quentity of these UNCIRCULATED dollar 
gene lonmile rane sie neato) (Oe EAE SEINE 
one kid who was not afraid of Dill, 


11 year series including oll 
h o RARE CARSDN CITY. 


A coneeeut 
four mints 


mainly because Dill was wuly aggressive. 
This kind of aggression later in life is CARSON CITY 1878 
often called “talent” or “drive,” but to SAN FRANCISCD 1879, 1830, 1881 


NEW ORLEANS 1882, 1863, 1884 


the great formless herd of kids it just ER ET RES RC Em 
means a lot of running, getting belted, MI a 
ae 'OTAL 
and continually fceling ashamed. SET 4950 PRICE 
If Dill so much as said hi to you nimiis 
you felt great and warm inside. But 


Phone 701. 


mostly he just hit you in the mouth 
Navada Stara Beri Las Vagas 


Now, a wue bully is not a fash the 
pan, and Dill wasn't. This went on for 
years. I must have been in about second 
grade when Dill first belted me behind 
the ear. 

Maybe the terr: had something to 
do with it. Life was very basic in north- 
em Indiana, in a stccl town at the f. 
southern tip of Lake Michigan. Life was 
more primal there than in, say, New 
York City or New Jersey or California. 
Take the seasons. Snow, ice, hard rocky 
frozen ground that wouldn't thaw out 
until late June. Kids played baseball all 
winter on this frozen lumpy tundr 
Ground balls would come gallopin 
"K-tunk. K-tunk K-tunk K-tunk" over 
the arctic concrete. And then summer 
would come. The ground would thaw 
and the wind would start, whistling in 
off the lake, a hot Sahara gale. I lived 
the first ten years of my life in a con 
tinual sandstorm n the 
Dunes region. with nie tempe a 
hundred and five and no rain since the 
first of June, produces in a kid the soul 
of a Death Valley prospector. The Indi- 
na Dunes—in those days no one 
thought they were special or spectacular 
—they were just the Dunes, all sand 
id swamps and timber wolves and even Fun-loving Femlins delightfully decorate 
attlesnakes. There were also rattlesnakes four aces and joker and Playboy Rabbit 
in fifth grade: like Grover Dill, a puff pattern distinctively backs up two decks 
adder among garden worms. of plastic coated playing cards. 

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188 graphed. I am comi, 


go to school in a sandstorm and come 
home just before a tornado. Lake Michi- 
an is like an enormous flue that 
stretches all the way up into the Straits 
of Mackinac, into the great north woods 
of Canada, and the wind howls down 
that lake like a gigantic chimney. We 
lived at the bottom of this immense 
stovepipe. The wind hardly ever stops. 
Winter, spring, summer, fall—whatever 
weather we had was made 20 times worse 
by the wind. If it was warm, it seared 
you like the open door of a blast fur 


nace. If it was cold, the wind sliced you 
to little pieces, diced and cubed you, 
ground you up, then put you back to- 


gether and started all over again. People 
l red faces all year round from the 
wind. 

When the sand is g off the 
Dunes in the summer it does something 
to the temper. The sand gets in your 
shoes and always huris between the toes. 
The kids would cut the sides of their 
sneakers so that when the sand would 
get to be too much, you just stick your 
foot up in the air and the sand would 
squirt out and you're ready for another 
ten minutes of action. 

Grover Dill was just 
hostile elements of 


blowi 


nother of the 
ture, like the sand, 
the wind—and the suckers. Northern In- 
na has a strange little green bur that 
festered in fingers and ankles for 
countless centuries. One of the great mo- 
ments in life for a kid was to catch 
ball covered with a thick fur of s 
in a barehand grab, driving them in 
right to the marrow of the knuckle 
bones 
One 
kind, 
m 


day. without warning of any 
it happened. Monumental mo- 
ts in our lives are rarely tele- 
g home from school 


on a hot, shimmering day, totally u 
ware that I was about to meet face to 
face my Tasmanian devil, that clawed, 
raging maniac that lurks inside cach 
of us. There were three or four of us 
eddying along, like — leaves 

acant lots, sticker patches, as 
xb alleys, 
wading through great clouds of Indiana 
shoppers, big dark-green ones th 
spat tobacco juice on your kneecaps and 
hollered and yelled in the weeds on all 
1 locusts were shricking 
fa dio m rs and the monarch but- 
terflies were on the wing amid the thi 
y like any other. 
My kid brother is with me and we 
have one of those little running ball 
games going, where you bat the ball 
with your hand back and forth to each 
other, moving homeward at the same 
time. The ball hops along; you field i 
you throw it back; somebody tosses it; 
it's grabbed on the first bounce, you're 
out, but nobody stops moving home- 
ward. A moving ball game. Like a float- 
ing crap game. 

We were about a block or so from my 
house, bouncing the ball over the con- 
crete, when it happened. We are moving 
along over the sandy landscape, under 
the dark lowering clouds of open-hearth 
haze that always hung between us and 
the sun. I dart to my right to ficld a 
ground ball. A foot lashes out unexpect- 
edly and down I go, flat on my face on 
the concrete road. I hit hard and jarring, 
a bruising, scraping jolt that cut my lip 
and drew blood. Stunned for a second, I 
look up. It is the dreaded Dill! 

To this day I have no idea how he 
materialized out of nowhere to trip me 
flat and to finally force the issue. 

Come on, kid, get out of the way, 


blown 


2” He grabs the ball and whistles it 
off to one of his toadies. He had yellow 
eyes. So help me God, yellow eyes! 

I got up with my knees bleeding and 
my hands stunned and tingling from the 
concrete, and without any conception at 
1 of what I was doing I screamed and 
rushed. My mind was a total red, raging, 
g blank. I know I screamed. 

"YAAAAAAHHHH?" 

The next thing I knew we are rolling 
over and over on the concrete, screaming 
and clawing. I'm out of my skull! I am 
pounding Dill against the concrete and 
we're rolli and over, battering at 
ach other's faces. 
tinually. I couldn't stop. 1 hit him over 
and over in the eyes. He rolled over me, 
but I was kicking and clawing, gou 
ting, tearing. 1 was vaguely conscious 
of people coming out of houses and 
across lawns. I was on top. J grabbed at 
his head. I caught both of Grover Dill's 
ars in either hand and 1 began to 
pound him on the concrete, over and 
over again. 

I have since heard of people under 
extreme duress speaking in strange 
tongues. I became conscious that a steady 
torrent of obsce and swearing was 
1 screamed. I could 
running home, hyster: 
ly yelling for my mother, but only 
| All T knew is that J was tearing 
and ripping and smashing at Grover 
Dill, who fought back like a fend! Bue 
T guess it was the first time he had ever 
met face to face with unleashed 
Tasma 

I continued to swear fantastically. I 
was conscious of it, and yet it was as 
though it was coming from something or 
someone outside of me. I sworc as I have 
never sworn since as we rolled screaming 
on the ground, And suddenly we were 
pulled apart. Dill, the back of his head 
Il battered, his eyes puffed and stream- 
ing, slashed by my claws and fangs, was 
hysterical. There was hardly a scratch on 
me, except for my scraped knee 

I learned then that bravery does not 
exist. Just a kind of latent insanity. JE T 
had thought about attacking Dill for ten 
seconds before I had done it, I'd have 
been four blocks away in a minute flat. 
But something had happened. A fuse 
had blown. And I had gone out of my 
skull 

But I had sworn! Terribly! Obscene- 
ly! In our house you didn’t swear. The 
things 1 called Dill I'm sure my mother 
had not even heard before. And / had 
only heard them once or twice, coming 
out of an alley. I had woven a tapestry 
of obscenity that as far as I know is still 
hanging in space over Lake Michigan. 
And my mother had heard! 

Dill by this time is wailing hysterical- 
ly. This had never happened to him be- 
fore. They're dragging the two of 
t amid a great ring of surging 
grownups and exultant, scared kids who 


knew more about what was happening 
than the mothers and fathers ever 
would. My mother is look t me, She 
said: "What did you " That's all. 
There was a funny look on her face. 

At that instant all thought of Grover 


Dill disappeared from what was left of 
my mind and all I could think of was 
the incredible shame of that unbeliev- 
able tornado of obscenity I had sprayed 
all over the neighborhood. 

I go into the house in a daze, and my 
mother’s putting water on me in the 
bathroom, pouring it over my head and 
dabbing at my eyes which are puffed and 
red from hysteria. My kid brother is 
cowering under the dining-room table 
scared, Bruner, next door, has been hid- 
ing in the basement, under the steps 
scared. The whole neighborhood is 
scared, and so am I. The water trickles 
down over my hair and around my € 

I stare into the swirling d 
in the sink. 

“You better go in 
day bed. Take it casy. Just go i 
down." 

She takes me by the shoulder and 
pushes me down on the day bed. I lie 
there scared, really scared of what I have 
done. 1 felt no sense of victory, no sense 
of beating Dill. AU I felt was this terri- 
ble thing I had said 

The light was gett ple and soft. 
ouside, almost time lor my father to 
come home from work. I'm just lying 
there. I can sec that its geuing dark, 
and I know that he's on his way home 
Once in a while a tic sob would 
come out, half hysterically. My kid 
the 


id lie down on the 
nd lie 


onall 

I hear the car roar up the driveway 
and a wave of terror breaks over me, the 
terror that a kid feels when he knows 
that retribution is about to be meted out 
for something that he's been hiding 
forever: his rottenness. The basic rotten- 

s has been uncovered, and now its 
the wrath of God, which you are not 
only going to get, but which you deserve! 

I hear him in the kitchen now. I'm in 
the front bedroom, cowering on the 
day bed. The normal sounds—he's hol- 
lering around with the newspaper. Fi- 

ally my mother says "Come on, 
supper's ready. Come on, kids, wash up." 

1 painfully diag myself off the day bed 
and sneak along the woodwork, under 
the buffet, skulking into the bathroom. 
My kid brother and I wash together over 
the sink. He says nothing. 

Then I am sitting at the kitchen table, 
toying with the red cabbage. My old man 
"Well, what happened today?" and 
looks up from the sports page. Here it 
comes! 

There is a short pause, and then my 
mother says: “Oh, not much. Jean had 
a Jile fight.” 

Figh? What kind of fighu" 


She says: "Oh, you know how kids 
ar 


"The ax is poised over my naked neck! 
There is no way out! Mec lly I 
continue to shovel in the mashed potit 
toes and red cabbage a 
I am tasting nothing, just cau 
ating, 

"Oh, it wasn't much. I gave him a 
talking to. By the way, I see the White 
Sox won tod z 


an to realize that I 
was not about to be destroyed. And then 
a very peculiar thing happened. A sud 
den unbelievable twisting, heaving stom- 
ach cramp hit me so bad J could feel 
my shoes coming right up through my 
cars 

I rushed back into the bathroom, so 
sick to my stomach that my knees were 
buckling. It was all coming up, pouring 
out of me, the conglomeration of it all. 
The terror of Grover Dill, the fear of 
yelling the things that I had yelled, my 
father coming home, my obscenities- 
I heaved it all out. It poured out of me 
in great heaving rushes, splattering the 
walls, the floor, the sink. Old erasers that 
I had eaten years before, library paste 
that I had downed in second grade, an 
Indian-head penny that I had gulped 
when I was two! It all came up in thun. 
derous, rerching heav 

My father hovered out in the hall, 
"Whats the matter with him? 
the Lcrs call Doctor 


matter? 


Slicker!” 
My mother knew what was the matter 
with me. 
“No 


, he's going to be all right. Just 
easy. Go back and finish cating. 


She pressed a washrag to the back of 
my neck. “Now, take it casy, I'm not 
going to say anything. Just be quiet. 
Take it easy. 

Down comes the bottle of Pepto-Bis- 
mol and the spoon. “Take this. Stop 
crying. 

But then I really started to cry, yelling 
and blubbering. She was talking low and 
quiet to m 

"Well tell him your stomach is upset, 
that you ate something at school.” 

The Pepto-Bismol slides down my 
throat, à y Now its 
really coming out! I’m scared of Grover 
thing. I'm con- 
grow up to be 
g blind! 

I'm lying in bed, sobbing, but I finally 
drift off to sleep, completely p: 
out from sheer nervous exhausti 
soft warm air blew the curt: 


The 
ins hack and 
forth as we caught the tail of a breeze 


from the great north woods, from the 
wilderness at the head of the lake. Both 
of us slept quietly, me and my red-eyed, 
fanged, furry little Tasmanian de 
Both of us slept. For the time being. 


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PLAYBOY 


190 


Pornographers Revisited (continued from page 96) 


started typically enough, with Evelyn 
bursting in at the top of the page to an- 
nounce, “Fam afraid I’m pretty igno- 
rant about sex matters, Doctor. Ought I 
to read a sex manual, or something like 
that, before my wedding day? " 
Without commenting one way or the 
other on the value of book lear 
the doctor casually inquired, “** . 
the way, have you ever had a thorough 
physical examination, Evelyn? Including 
a al one, that is?” 
"Not what you would call a thorough 
physical" Evelyn replied. "Doctors 
have just tapped my chest and looked in 
my throat and cars—things like that. 
Ive always been pretty healthy. My 
periods are as regular as clockwork 
A rather long and extremely intimate 
conversation ensued concerning the 
chronometric accuracy of Evelyn's self- 
winding menstrual cycle, and the best 
way to make certain that her wedding 
day would not occur “bang in the m 
dle" of her period. “‘You can start now 
taking your temperature every morn 
" the doctor advised. “ "The body 
temperature rises slightly at the time of 
ovulation—when the egg leaves the ova 
ry and passes down to the uterus; the 
only time, as you probably know, whe 
an ovum can become fertilized...” 
ice I had already learned about the 
Miracle of Reproduction from sncak- 
Halder - Julius" Little Blu 
Books in my sixth-grade geography cla 


rived at a two-line break in the next col- 
umn, just in time to meet Evelyn and 
the doctor as they came out of his exam- 
ination room. "'I hope that wasn't too 
uncomfortable, Evelyn? the doctor said. 
“The first pelvic examination, I. know, 
n be pretty bothersome.’ 

“Je wasn’t as bad as I thought ic 
would be. There was just one time when 
it really hurt. What is the verdict 

^ "Your confidence in your good health 
is well grounded. 1 was impressed, too, 
with your poise and good sense during 
the n Actually, it wasn't 
quite as simple as I had thought it 
would be. The reason for the discomfort 
you experienced was that vour vaginal 
opening is not very large. You probably 
know something about the hymen, or 
“maidenhead,” as it is called?’ 

“Yes, and. Mother told me to ask you 
about that. | forgot. It’s her impression 
that in the premarital examination, the 
doctor breaks it or tears it or whatever it 
is you do. That's what she gathers from 
her friends whose daughters have had 
premarital examinations.” " 

The doctor, who obviously didn't 
want to become implicated in the little 
white fibs being circulated by hymenless 
hoydens to explain their nonvirginal sta- 
tus, was quick to deny the canard: “I 
don't think that's strictly accurate, Eve- 
any of it. The normal hymen—it's a 
thinnish membrane or tissue, which par- 
ially closes off the lower end of the va- 


1 warily skipped over the eggs and ar- gina in a virgin—is rather easily 
——~- 
ES 
ca 


“TU sell you my chance to 
be President for a nickel." 


stretched, Doctors do that sometimes, 
without damaging it, when they feel that 
a vaginal examination is advisable for a 
virgin. Or when some slight correction is 
needed to make a brides first inter- 
course easier and less painful. . . . Gen- 
erally, it docsn't make any trouble, and I 
dont myself interfere with a perfectly 
normal hymen. Now and then, howev 
we find a hymen that is extra tough or 
fibrous, or that has an unusually small 
such cases it may nor 
lt can make the first in- 
tercourse painful and sometimes may 
ally prevent. normal. intercourse." 
And thats the way I am? What can 
I do? 

“t... First of all, I'm going to give 
you some graduated dilators. Mary Ann, 
my nuise, will tell you how to use them. 
You can start tonight. If the condition 
isn’t corrected by a month before your 
marriage, we will use surgical dilation. 
- - - But Alec should know that this is 
being done. Would he be willing to 


ac 


come in for a little talk?” 
‘I'm sure he would be glad to, 
Doctor’ ” Evelyn assured him—and 


while the visit ended before the unsus- 
pecting Alec had a chance to drop in for 
a little chat on hymencal stretch-sex and 
a det ng on the sort of thing 
he might expect to run into on his wed- 
ding night, the following April found 
another man (Sam Jenkins by name) 


bursting into the doctor's office: 


s sudden 


fe pot th 


a doctor quick! Did I do righ 

As it turned out, Sam had donc exact- 
ly right—and just in the nick of time. As 
the doctor explained, after he had re- 
moved Mrs. Jenkins’ left ovary, Sam’s 
wife had heen the victim of an “ectopic” 
or “ruptured tubal” pregnancy: “ ‘The 
baby was growing in the outer part of 
the left Fallopian tube instead of in the 
uterus where it belonged.’ ” 

In his gynecological give and take 
with the Jenkinses (who had been hop- 
ing for a litde girl), the doctor was 
ed to go into considerable detail 
about how “the ovum is normally met 
by the sperm at the outer end of the 
" and the fact that sometimes 
e little blind alleys in the 


tubes*—the whole comprising a small 
handbook on female plumbing and the 
etiquette of sperm and egg. “ ‘Doctor, 


1 just don't know haw to thank you, 
Mrs. Jenkins murmured gratefully, when 
all was said and done. 

"The doctor put his hand on Mr. 
Jenkins’ shoulder. "This fellow here is 
the one to thank, Mrs. Jenkins. He prob- 
ably saved your life by his promptness 
in getting medical attention. I think he 
really deserves another chance at having 
that litde girl!’ 

With these historic words, the door 
was thrown open for other troubled 


hubbies to come in and chat with the 
Journal’s Trusted. Physician. 

* 'I's her mother, Doctor,” Bob V 
ston said gloomily, apropos his wife's 
case of forceps-fear in July “61. “ ‘Ever 
since Mrs. Wilkens got here, we've been 
treated to play-by-play accounts of all 
the suffering she and her friends and her 
friends’ friends went through when their 
babies were born . . 7 

“The doctor shook his head. "We ob- 
stetricians run into quite a lot of that, 
Bob. There arc women who seem to take 
a ghoulish delight in trotting our all the 
childbed horrors they can think of when 
a young wife is approaching her first de- 
livery. They don't scem to r e the 
effect they may be producing on the ex- 
nother. ..,*" And, two months 


door consultati 
whose wife 


n with young Edgar Fer- 


ris, Min was suffering 


Mr. Ferris asked. 
"Ihe doctor drew a picture on his 


note pad. ‘Here we have a cross section 
of the uterus, in late pregnancy, with the 
placenta well up toward the top, where 
it ought to be. And here’—making an- 
other sketch—‘is a uterus where the pla- 
centa is so low that it partially covers the 
4" But, on the off 


cervical opening . - 


chance that these pages might fall into 
the hands of some hopefully expectant 
young wife, let's spare ourselves the gory 
description of Marian's "massive hemor- 
* (^ "Is happened, Doctor, and it's 
dreadful, unbelievable! It's a fountai 
a—a torrent! What shall I do?’ ") and the 
grim Caesarean sight of “the bi 
arteries . .. temporarily restrained by 
rubber-covered clamps.” 

One ingenious device for stepping up 
the hubby's postcoital involvement in 
the female sexual cycle is to make him 
an active participant in “natural child- 
birth"—a do-it-yourself kind of obstetrics 
which, by the spring of '63, was getting 
some pretty heavy promotional play in 
the form of “home delivery.” Apart from 
catering to the aspirations which some 
women have to emulate the Great Earth 
Mother and bring forth the 
teeming wombs with no more frills or 
antisepsis than might be had in a mud 
hut on the Amazon, “home delivery" is 
additionally attractive in that it expands 
the hubby's household duties to include 
on-the-job training as a resident midwife 
nd obstetrical handyman—presumably 
on the theory that if he was in at the 
conception, it is only fair that he be al- 
lowed to share in the joys of welcoming 
the stork. For an example of this kind of 
hubby-wife labor union, we need look 
no further than page 111 of the same 


of their 


issue that contained William McCleery’s 
statement on the Gentlemen's Home 
Journal, and the story of Marian Hodges" 
scratch-and-go brush with the galloping 
trichomonads. The article is called “Our 
Baby Was Born at Home,” and opens 
with a note written to the editors by 
-old Patricia Nissen. "We are 
planning our baby to be born at home 
Mrs. Nisen wrote. “Would you like to 
share in the experience?" 

The question was almost absurdly rhe- 
torical. Would a fish like to swim? Do 
kids like parades and circuses? Of course 
the Joumal wanted to share in Patty 
Nissen’s accouchement! And so it was 
that, come July, the Journals Joan 
Younger and photographer Joseph Di 
Piciro were dispatched to the 
Indiana home to provide o 
coverage of the blessed event, u: 
same dramatic, minute-by-minute tech- 
nique that had been employed in docu- 
menting such great moments in history 


Vissens’ 


as the day Lincoln was shot and the 
sinking of the S.S. Titanic: 
“1:31 p.m. “Wow, here's another one 


thats a beaut 


atty says. The contrac 
tions are now a regu to seven mi 
utes apart, but Gene [Patty's husband] 
is no longer watching Patty worriedly 
when she has one. He is excitedly occu- 
pied by the pans of boiling water and 
the time sheet. Patty's excitement, on 


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PLAYBOY 


192 


the other hand, is leaving her. . . . Only 
when a contraction comes does she 
stiffen and become taut. . . . Patty draws 
in her breath, startled. ‘Oh, that was a 
funny one, ‘Six minutes on the dot,’ 
Gene says and then looks at her sharply. 
‘Gee whiz, Patter, we're going to have a 
baby! 
“Patter,” in case you haven't guessed, 
is Gene's pet name for Pate} 
is her pet name for Gene. 
“br 
she chose it, but Gene, laughing. 
viously it is short for Nuisance. 
whole family talks cute like that. “Mom- 
my, Mary is fricker-fracker,” their little 
daughter Becky shouts in reporting thi 
bedtime behavior of her younger sister. 
Fricker-fracker "is a family phrase for 
being ty’s lady 
doctor has her bedded down on a pad of 
newspapers at 1:47 par, Patty laughs as 
she reminisces: “Remember these funny 
things we used to say in high school? 
They all had a steral to the mory. 
Spoonerisms. 'Oh, sometimes your bou- 
bles are trig and sometimes your smou- 
bles are wall. But if you trad no houbles 
t all, how could you blecognize your 


It means 
a” in Greek and she says that is why 


t. The contractions are 


now 


coming five minutes apart and are of 
considerable has 
been dozing through them. . . . The 


the birth area was washed with soap 
yermicide. She is stretched ont on the 
bed, the newspapers under her and a 
sheet over her 

he doctor has been resting and 
waiting on a chair beside the bed. . . ~ 
When Patty opens her eyes the doctor 
says, "You must get up and walk around 
now. We have only a four-centimeter 


ion and we need nine!” 

xb so it goes, while Gene rushes 
around sterilizing cloths, boiling rubber 
gloves, making tea, and keeping track of 
Patty's contractions on his time sheet. At 
3:50 rt. Patty's tension relaxes, and she 
its to rest. “ "You must walk,’ the doctor 
ays. ‘Ah, bension is tilding up again, 
Patty says, getting up, "and I am just 
putzing around." 

75:10 p.M, The baby has moved down- 
ward now and Patty has gone to lie 
down. . . . 540 rr The water sac 
broke suddenly and completely a few 
minutes ago. . . . "Mr. Nissen,’ the doctor 
says, "put your ads on top of her 
abdomen and masage very gently, 
please . . . very gently.’ There is a long, 
heaving breath from Patty. ‘I see the 
head!’ Gene exclaims. "Dark curly hair— 
like yours, Patty, like yours!” "But I 
wanted red hair,’ Patty says. "P. 
Gene cries, "the baby is coming! " 

As I read, my own bension was tild 
up to pever fitch. 1 was ready to settle 
for any color hair—auburn, chestnut or 
peroxide blonde. "6 r- 


pressing against the cervix, as 
erful contraction of the uterus d 
farther down the birth canal, but it can- 
not push through. . . . ‘Relax,’ the doctor 
says. ‘Relax, Relax between contractions. 
Push only with the contractions 
Lord knows, I was trying to relax. My 
grip on the Journal was tense and moist, 
but I wasn't pushing between contrac- 
tions. Maybe Mr. McCleery and the oth- 
cr fellows were pushing, but not me! 
“6:30 row. The baby still has not 
stretched the cervix sufficiently, nor have 
the contractions. . . . 7:10 wow. Still the 
baby has not arrived. . . . 7:30 rw. De- 
livery is close now, as the baby presses 


“Well, are you going to push or not?!" 


downward, downward, and the contrac 
tions come one upon another so closely 
they are almost continuous. ‘Stretch, 
baby, stretch,’ the doctor murmurs. ‘Now 
—now, push with this contraction—push 


—push—now relax—relax- 

Crouched down in my armchair, 1 dug 
my heck into the rug and pushed 
—pushed—relaxed—relaxed. The 
graphs were coming one upon another 
so closely they were almost continuous. 
"Wow!" I gasped. "Here's another one 
thats a beauty!” 

“7:39 p.m. Then—suddenly—there is 
the sound of a baby's wail and like an 
arrow the baby has popped from the 
uterus into the doctor's deft hands. In 
skilled rhythm the doctor has caught the 
child, clamped the cord, and laid the 
baby on Patty's stomach. ‘Oh-h’—Patty’s 
wail is one of pure joy—'see the baby!’ 
Gene is still thunderstruck ‘Oh,’ he 
ys. ‘Oh, oh, oh. What a thrill!” "What 
is it? Patty says. But there is no time to 
nine the baby now. The afterbirth is 
coming with the same catapulting speed 
the baby did...” 

Oh, no you don’t!” I muttered, and 
slammed the magazine shut just in time 
to prevent the hamned dafterbirth from 
lopping into my plap! 

Siuing in a dreamy kind of postnatal 
haze induced by a couple of stilt shots of 
Old Twilight Sleep, I fancied I could 
still see the memory book of photos Mr. 
Di Piewro had taken at the Nissens’ ob- 
sterrical Noos gently 
massaging Patter's abdomen at 5:10 rt. 
- Noos clutching Patter's hand as she 
iced. at a 6:30 contraction. . . . Pat. 
ic smile at the sight of the 
lile what's-it ly across her 
fricker-fracker tummy. . . . So vivid and 
complete were the innumerable clinical 
details which I have here had the decen- 
cy to omit, I was certain that I, or any of 
the Journal's other male readers, could 
have gone out that very night and deliv- 
ered quintuplets in a snowbound t 
The Journal, it seems, was rather hop 
that some of us would. “Well, thank 
goodness!” the letters’ editor exclaimed, 
some months later, when Bettie J- 
g of Yerba Buena Island, € 
, wrote in to announce that duc to 
te arrival of the 
d had delivered. ih. 
nine-ounce daughter. “Thanks to the 
Journal, we know just what to do!” 
Mrs. Downing shouted from the far-off 
Buena shore. 

For a while, I half suspected that 
the new tend to home deliveries by 
Journalirained midhubbics was just a 
nmick to prevent 
nt women from developing 
crushes on their obstetricians. 
the Trusted Physician was being de- 
emphasized on the naturalchildbirth 
front, June 1961 found him in there 
ad pitching as a specialist in artifici 
insemina 


r six-pound, 


ioi 


“We have a pretty difficult question, 
Doctor, that we haven't been able to 
work out for ourselves; Hal Ward said 
with a nervous laugh . .. 

“I see vou have an infertility prob 
lem,’ the doctor remarked, referring to 
the notes his secretary had handed to 
him. ‘Dr. Fairchild has been treating you 
Doth for four years...” 
es. We had been married three 
years when Ann went to him about her 
failure to conceive. He couldn't find 
anything wrong with her, so he had me 
come in. He made two separate exami 
nations, said the sperm potential was 
only fifty to sixty percent of normal. He 
decided this was due to a very severe 
case of mumps, with complications, that 
I had when I was in the Army .. 

“Testicular mumps can do it; the 
doctor said. "At that, you are luckier 
than many men who have had mumps of 
this type, if your index is still better 
than fifty percent. 

So Dr. Fairchild said, and he was 
very optimistic at fist that treatment 
might fix me up. I've had the works, 
Doctor—diets, thyroid, shots prostate 
treatments, male hormones, and some 
female hormones for good measure.’ 
^'He even gave me female thyroid 
nd female hormoncs, too,” Ann Ward 
added. .. . ‘He had me keep tempera 
ture charis, and every now and then he 
blew air through the Fallopian tubes— 
he called that insufllation—to make sure 
they were completely oper 

The Journal didn’t explain how Dr 
Fairchild went about the business of 
blowing air through Ann Ward's tubes, 
but masculine delicacy led me to assume 
that some sort of hand pump was used. 
At any rate, the Trusted Phy 
particular forte was "homologous insem- 
ination"—artificial insemination "using 
ihe husband as donor. 

“We call this homologous insemina- 
tion because it is all in the family, so to 
speak," the doctor explained. “'Un- 
doubtedly you know that a terrific num- 
tozoa—millions, in fact— 
ised at a single time. . .. They 
of course incredibly tiny. And though 
they appear 10 move very fast when vou 
look at them under the microscope, it 
takes from three to four hours for the 
strongest and liveliest sperm to make 
the short trip from the cervix up into 
the Fallopian tubes. Most of them, count 
Jess thousands, perish on the way. 

As in his previous descriptions of the 
descent of the ovum into the uterus, the 
doctor's story of the sperms’ journey up 
the tubes had much of the color and 
drama usually associated with sagas of 
Westward migration, and how jazz came 
up the river from New Orleans. ""Re- 
cently? ” however, “ ‘there have been 
some very helpful findings concerning 
the cnvironment—"climate" we doctors 
call it—in the vagina,’ he went on to 
reveal, adding that ““It was not a good 


line. Flag down these lean and 


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one for the sperm. . . . So the sperm are 
only too happy to make their way out of 
the vagina into the inviting atmosphere 
of the cervix,’ ” 

By this time, I would have been only 
too happy to make my way out of the 
ina, too, and would have welcomed a 
free sojourn in the high, dry 
mate of the Colorado hills But the 
doctor was just hitting his stride: "T's 
normal 
wom in the 
quality of the secretions in the cervical 
round the time that ovula 
imminen| aple, extra. carbohy 
drates appear on which the sperm appear 
to flourish. ~- . . The result is that at this 
time of the month sperm can travel 
more quickly and easily, reach the Fal- 
lopian tubes in more virile condition, 
and live as long as three days in a wom- 
an's genital tract’ ” 

To me, three days was beginning to 
n like no time at all. “ ‘That és inter- 
^" Hal put in—and that was all 
the encouragement the doctor needed to 
launch into a discussion of other secre- 
tions and factors that were hostile to- 
g sperm. “If you find 
there is a hostile element of some kind, 
can anything be done?” one of the 
Wards asked. 

“That is where homologous insemi 
nation comes i the doctor replied. 
* "What we do, stated in simple terms, is 
lo nto the 


perhaps entirely above the harmful 
influences in the vagina and cer 

“Mr. and Mrs. Ward exchanged excit- 
ed glances. ‘Won't you please do that for 
" Mrs. Ward implored.” 

But the doctor hardly needed. implor- 
ing. If 1 knew my Trusted Physicians, 
the Wards couldn't have gotten out of 
that office with a loaded 45. Happily, 
however, the tests “revealed no evidence 
of antagonism between the secretions of 
husband and wife. The spe Hal 
furnished showed only about half the 
usual sperm concentration, à good many 
exua cells, much debris and some pecu- 
sperm forms." But, despite this odd- 
isorument, the medical consensus 
w that Hal could be con 
tile under favorable condition 
doctors examination of Ann Wa 
however, disclosed one thing which es- 
caped Dv. Fairchild's scrutiny - 

“There is a small erosion at the 
cervical opening, with a very slight infec- 
tion—we call it endocervicitis, the doc 
tor told the Wards.” “ “Then you won't 
use homologou: emination after 
17” we all asked in unison, " ‘Indeed, 
we will, " the dauntless medico retorted, 
“ ‘and during this ovulation period. We 
can give the sperm a lot better chance by 
depositing them high up in the cervical 
canal... . If we are not successful this 
time, we will cauterize the erosion. 
We will insufilate the tubes a few days 
before the homologous insemination is 


inen 


ball 


done... . / Anything that makes it easier 
for the sperm to travel up the tubes is 
all to the good." 

d. But since there was nothing 
le Journal readers could do to as- 
sist, I just stood around trying hard not 
to stare while Hal, Ann and the doctor 
performed three homologous insemina- 
tions with “no results.” Disheartened by 
his failure to come up with a winning 
sperm count, Hal offered to resign from 
the team, and suggested calling in an 
outside donor. But the doctor wasn't 
ready to give up so easily. “ “That does 
you credit, Hal," he said, in a private 
pep talk with his numberone seeded 
player, * ‘but let's try at least once more. 
This time we'll make it casier still for 
the sperm. We will do a more complete 
dilatation of the cervix when we rei 
sufflate the tubes. We will watch Ann's 
temperature very closely. If the rise th 
indicates ovulation does not oc 
mediately after insemination, we'll in- 
seminate again..." 

Much as 1 admired the man's spirit, T 
began to wonder how Ann was respond. 
ing to all these attentions. she s 
regard the doctor as a. purcly scientific 
middleman? Or was she, perhaps, begi 
g to welcome his approach with 
warm, soulful glances and softly 
hummed chorus of You Brought a New 
Kind of Love to Me? Fortunately, such 
questions must remain forever moot. 
“The next insemination worked, and 
nine months later Mrs. Ward gave birth 
to a fine boy!” 

During my first journey into the ca- 
lamitous world of sex in the women's 
magazines, I had occasion to remark that 
there were no limits to how far the la 
dies’ books could go, as long as they ap- 
proached the subject with a medi 
license and a little black bag. But I never 
dreamed the day would come when the 
ds would be treated with 
ins same clinical familiarity as the fe 
male genital tract. For the record, it 
must be noted, moreover, that the Jour- 
nal's fertility triangle featuring Hal, Ann 
and the doctor was but a comelately 
tance of a new kind of sexual manhan- 
dling that first came to my notice i 
July ^59 issue of Cosmopolitan. 
sex-laced number devoted to “Man 
His Won 

The "Case History" of the month was 
a detailed dossier on ^ s Persol 
Disease,” and had as its troubled prota; 
onist a man named Jim Rogers who 
was suffering from an enlargement of 
the prostate gland: "For over a ycar Jim 
Rogers had been aware of decr 
sexual ability... . For more than a year 
there had been ed change in h 
urinary habits; he had frequent difficul- 
ty, sometimes a little pain. He had 
been making more and more pilgrim- 
ages to the men's room during the day 
and waking up increasingly during the 
night... 


‘Though the story ended happily, with 
Jim functioning flawlessly in all depart- 
ments, this pioneering probe of man's 
most intimate sex gland was noteworthy 
for at least two reasons. First, it expand- 
ed Cosmopolitan’ far-reaching sexual 
dom: to include the bathroom and the 
office urinal. And, second, it successfully 
pplied the sick, sad sex approach to the 
problem of getting a man to drop his 
pants, so that a millionodd women 
could get a few ious kicks from 
"playing doctor": 

"As far as anybody has been able to 
discover, the prostate gland in the hu- 
man male has one primary function: to 
produce fluid in which sperm can live 
during their long journey to the Fallopi- 

n tubes. . . . It lies at th ase of the 
bladder. . . . Thus its secretions—up to 
two cubic centimeters of fluid daily— 
e ready access to the urine for elim- 
And during coitus, when they 
increase greatly, they also have a ready 


exit and can join with the sperm... ~ 
But as the enkarging prostate begins to 
dam up the lower urinary passage, the 


bladder has to work harder to get the 
ame amount of urine through. . . . 
Massage of the prostate might give him 
relief for a time. But the advice of the 
urologist was surgery. . .. An instru- 
ment is introduced into the penis, and 
passed up through the urethra. It is 
fitted with a telescopic lens system and a 
ht, allowing the surgeon to sce what 
he is doing. .. . A Baltimore physician 
once attributed enlargement to excessive 
sexual activity. But the condition is ob- 
served in Catholic priests in whom 
there's no question of overindulgence. A 
famed physician, Dr. Will Mayo, once 


thought it was due to... prolonged vol- 
untary retention of urine. But enlarge- 
ment is as frequent in farmers, who 


don't have to hold their urine, . . . 
Other doctors have noted that. eunuchs 
never have prostate trouble . . .” 
Nonfarming male readers who man- 
aged to hold their water Jong enough to 
finish the aricle, found that. castration 
was not being specifically recommended 
s à cure for prostatitis, But a descrip- 
tion of a vasectomy, or male sterilizi- 
tion, on page 58 of the same issue, was as 
led as a recipe for Granny Grim 
shaw’s old-fashioned Nut Surprise: “The 
two slim tubes through which spermato- 
zoa must travel from the testicles to ejec- 
tion outside the body are called the vas 
deferens; cach is about one-eighth of an 
inch thick and twenty inches long. and 
cach, conveniently, lies just below the 
‘of the scrotum. In a five-minute op- 
ation that can be performed under a 
local anesthesia . . . a half-inch incision 
is made on each side of the scrotum, the 
two tubes are lifted out, a tiny section is 
cut off each, the ends are tied off and 
buried in the neighboring tissuc—and 
the patient forsakes fatherhood for 
good.” Voila! aud Vive le vas deferens! 


e 


As easy as taking a tuck in a skirt or 
trussing up a turkey! 

Equally simple was the female steril 
zation, in which the surgeon deftly ties 
off “and cuts out a portion of cach Fal- 
lopian tube.” The purpose was, of 
course, “the prevention of parenthood,” 
and the beauty of both operations lay 
the fact that “Sex characteristics and 
drive are not affected. . . . Menstruation 
continues. Seminal fl 
sperms. still flow 
cach ejaculation . . 

Dedicated to a full, frank discussion of 
"Our Sterilization Scandal," the article 
nevertheless turned up some pretty spe- 
cific information about where a hubby 
could be sent to have his tubes tied off 


ls, minus 
undiminished from 


wide-open fly. But that wasn’t | AS 
anyone acquainted with Cosmopolitan's 
comprehensive coverage must have al 
ready surmised, the pace-setting “Man 
and His Woman" issue did not neglect 
the techniques of natural insemination 
ind the business of promoting an undi- 
minished flow of conjugal ejaculations 
and orgasms. 

In strictest adherence to the tradi- 
tional "problem" approach, the month's 
guide to better sexual relations was pr 
sented under the heading of “Man 
Greatest Blunder,” and was in the classi- 
cal question-and-answer form of an "ex- 
clusive interview" with the "noted. 


D 


! 7 | E 
PORTUGAL c CARR | 


authority on marital problems," 
prio. “The American male 
makes the woman feel that hes overly 
sex-conscious,” Dr. Caprio charged, “and 
that his love can only be expressed by his 
e for her. The more talent- 

to establish some sort of 
with his woman. He 
n feel that he enjoys her 
He remarks about her 
praises her . . - 
While die doctors point might be 
well taken, most men would agree, I 
think, that the majority of American 
wives are inclined to attribute a sext 
motive to practically anything a 
might say, from "Gee, honey, your 
looks nice tonight" to “Think TIL get 
the stepladder and replace that bulb in 
the chandelier.” But one surefire way 
for a husband to avoid the appearance 
of being overly sex-conscious, would be 
to refrain from discussing the articles in 
her favorite magazines. Under mo cir 
cumstances should a talented lover make 
pionable inquiries concerning the 
balminess or inclemency of her vaginal 
c." or praise the “quality of the 
secretions in the cervical canal." Neither 
should he seck to make chummy small 
talk of his urinary habits, speak boast- 
fully of the “terrific number of sperma- 
tozoa” he can release at a single time, or 
wy to beat up a conversation about his 
prostate, penis, testicles or scrotum. Thi 
may leave him with a mute choice be 
tween going out to an all-night golf 


conversation. 


hi 


EIE ruthfully, miss, I don't think 
you can get away from it all!” 


195 


PLAYBOY 


196 


range or having her follow him 
around from room to room, pleading, 
"Talk to me, honey. talk to me." But 
dless of provocation, he should 
never commit the blunder of discussing 
sex with her as exhaustively as did Dr. 
Ca 


American marriage will achieve true 
happiness when our men develop tech- 
nique that is midway between being shy 
and inhibited, and being too bold and 
brazen,” the doctor opined—thus setting 
up a psychological tightrope of such 
indefinite height, length and fragility, 
that even the most sexually sure-footed 
of men must despair of ever getting 
ross on the very tiptoes of devotion 
nd desire. Helpfully. however, the doc- 
Iso advocated a more active partic- 
ipation on the part of American wives— 
sans tightropes and, presumably, sans 
common complaint among 
many male patients of mine is that their 
wives have seldom taken the sexual 
rked. ". . . Happily, 
this trend. is changing. Maxine Davis re- 
cently wrote a book, The Sexual Re- 
sponsibility of Women, which makes a 
valuable contribution because she has 
tried to show the importance of the 
wife's occasionally surprising her hus- 
band and initiating the advances. This 
adds to the variety of the physical rela 
tionship, and makes the wile coparti 
pant in sex ~ 

After sewing “frequency” 
question with a ti al twice-a-week 
reply, the doctor then broke new ground 
by addressing himself to a problem that 
the women's magazines had previously 
handled with noncommittal kid gloves. 
"Qe. Could you tell us about what is 
normal in the sexual relationship be- 
tween men and women—and what con- 
stitules sexual deviation? 


the old 
di 


"^. A man and wife who have conven- 


tional scx relations and do not indulge 
in deviations can be normal. By the 
same token, those couples who do prac- 
tice variations in technique are also nor- 
mal. My experience has been that the 
couples who do indulge in variation are 
more compatible and have a better ad- 


justed sex lile than those who are too in- 
hibited to do so. Whatever two people 


do, within reason. the privacy of their 
bedroom can be considered normal as 
long as it is done by mutual consent.” 

Depending upon each reader's sexual 
sophistication, the. jo statement 
could be construed as carte blanche to 
practice the most outré Oriental devia- 
tions, or as a mere medical permit to 
leave the little bedroom light on. But. 
this, coupled with the doctor's recogni- 
tion of need for greater sexual 
responsibility in women, represented a 
significant effort to liberalize the Ameri- 
can woman's attitudes, and reduce the 
impossible number of restrictions which. 
years of “authoritative” marital advice 
had imposed upon the sexual deport- 
ment of the American male. Significant, 
100, was Morton M. Hunt's analysis of 
“The New Sex Problems” in an article 
on “Our Manly Men,” on page 35 of the 
same sex-laden issue: 

"For the past 30 ycars, feminists and 
marriage advisors e sternly forbade 
the male to enjoy his wife sexually 
without arousing her and completely 
fulfilling her," Mr. Hunt observed. 
"The impact of this campaign has led 
modern woman to expect a more superi. 
or performance than the average man 
can regularly put on. The requirement 
that he woo her carefully and long each 
time assumes the appearance of an oner- 
ous duty and a threat to manliness. I 
once knew a man who, warned by a doc- 


"Speak to me!" 


he was giving his wife 
atory wooing, put 


arousal before obeying his own impulses. 
In less than half a year, he had taken up 
with a beerjoint doxy, with whom he 
was able to be riotous, selfish and crude- 
ly masculin 


niliar with the findings in 
Pious Pornographers need 
hardly be told that it was just such pro- 
hibitive platitudes that the women’s 
magazines had been propagandizing for 
years. Curiously, the first i of a 
change in editorial attitude toward these 
man-killing clichés had appeared in Gos- 
mopolitan's special issue on “The Amer- 
ican Wife,” which hit the newsstands in 
January of 1958—a few months follow- 
y PLAYBOY’s publication of my first re- 
port on the clinical concupiscence and 
misery-ridden erotica that passed for sex 
in milady's popular monthlies. 

While instances of sexual happiness 
able for their absence, the 
1 article, by T. F. James, took 
19th Century Puritanism to task for 
insisting that "decent" women were in- 
capable of sexual passion. "Only bad 
women enjoyed sex," the writer recalled. 
And the liberating influences of Freud 
nd Havelock Ellis had only led to 
nerease jn sex antagonism. “All shapes 
and varieties of marital anguish were 
laid squarely at the door of the clumsy 
husband. It was the man, the marriage 
manuals unanimously declared, who was 
responsible for success in sex, and equal- 
ly responsible for its failure. For the 
enlightened readers of the manuals, mak- 
ing love became a kind of challenge . . . 

"Frequently couples spent so much 
time worrying about whether their tech- 
nique was right, whether their climaxes 


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occurred simultaneously as the book said 
they should, whether the wife really had 
an orgasm, that they lost all the me: 
of m al intercourse, not to mention 
the pleasure . 
"Pleasure" was a word that the ladies" 
books had seldom mentioned in connec- 
tion with sex, and T. F. James’ ref- 
erence t0 it came as a welcome surprise. 
Even more surprising was the writer's 
announcement that “Doctors now feel 
the whole concern with orgasm has been 
overdone. Dr. Clark E. Vincent of the 
University of California, for instance, 
declares that the important thing is a 
spontaneous love relationship in which 
"the two people lose themselves without 
any particular thought as to whether 
their technique is achieving results.’ Psy- 
chiatrists point out that orgasm is an 
extremely difficult phenomenon to meas- 
ure. In the popular mind it is a sort of 
physical and. emotional explosion at the 
climax of the sex act. But Dr. Lena Lev- 
ine says: "The descriptions women give 
of an orgasm may bc as different as the 
differences among women themselves, 
for cach has her own sexual responses 
and in response to a particular man.’ ” 
This recognition of psychosexual var- 
iables, and Dr. Vincent's advocacy of "a 
spontaneous love relationship," added 
up to a radical change in both doctoral 
and editorial thinking. In a Cosmopoli- 
tan article quoted in my original report, 
no less an authority than Dr. Frank S. 
Caprio had deplored the “misconception 
many young married people hav: 
that the best sex is spontaneous.’ 
tually, the most rewarding and coi 
ent sexual happiness is planned," he 
had declared, and success “comes slowly, 
in the course of years, as couples learn 
what caresses achieve the richest re- 
sponse, and how to time these responses 
so they achieve orgasm rogether—a ne- 
cessity for maximum fulfillment." 
From advocating that young couples 
approach sex as though it were a kind of 
home-study course in erotic 
engineering, by which the technically 
gifted might Jearn to caress their way to 
success, Gosmopolitan’s sex specialists 
had openly and abruptly switched to 
promoting the recreational aspects of 
physical amour. Diligence was no longer 
placed ahead of desire, plam 
way to spontaneity, a 
spirited folk art in which couples find ful- 
fillment through mutual self-expression. 
This new and salutary emphasis upon 
enthusiasm and delight was to echo in 
the kitchen-and-cookie-oriented pa of 
Good Housekeeping in 1962, and amidst 
the splashy color spreads of Mc- 
Call's, in 1963. The Ladies Home Jour- 
nal made an early and valiant attempt 
to introduce a note of sex uplift by 
launching a new series on “Sex and 
Religion,” six months after Cosmopoli- 
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call to sexual joy in "Ihe American 
Wife." But, while the first article, by the 
Reverend Doctor Ruel L. Howe, was 
given prominent billing on the cover, 
the Journal's reluctance to abandon the 
weeping womb and go all out for the 
power of positive intercourse, was cvi- 
denced by the equally prominent. bill- 
boarding of an acein-hchole agony 
iem HATE BEING PREGNANT AND I 
HATE SE 
However, in shifting even a portion of 
il content from the clinical to 
1, the Journal moved co 
erably closer to the side of the 
The Reverend Doctor Howe didn't hate 
sex. In the process of expounding. his 
beliefs, he never once suggested that 
sex was anything less th of life's 
greatest blessings. Writing "Ihe 
Bible and the World of 
in October '59. Dr 


in frecing sex of some of its puritanical 
dichés and pious negativi a 
variety of reasons, the Western world, 
under Christian influence, has all too 
often been inclined to view m 
uality negatively," he wrote. 

how the notion has got around th 
original sin of Adam and Eve was the 
xual act; and though the church may 
not have been guilty of positively creat- 
ing such i it must be 
confessed that little has been done to 
counteract or correct it. . The insist- 
ence of the secular mind upon the 
essential goodness of sex as a fact of 
nature must be underlined and strength- 
ened by a Biblically oriented viewpoint 

ther th tacked or refuted. 


of sexuality. Man's bodily nature is not, 
according to the Bible, an occasion for 
regret, a prison house of sensuality from 
which we must seek to escape. It is per- 
fectly clear that the Old Testament sees 
man as a psychophysical unity, as a crea- 
ture made to enjoy the material world, 
including his own body. . . . The New 
Testament is somewhat more confining, 
bringing to an end the era of polygamy, 
divorce and prostitution, as the Judaism 
of the First Gentury had virtually already 
done. But still, sex is good . . ." 

It was not necessary to agree with the 
"Sex and Religion" series on all points 
in order to recognize the ba 
and hopefulness of the clergymen-writ 
ers’ position, and to appreciate the ab 
sence of the sort of militant hypocrisy 
that often oozes from the pious pro- 
nouncements of morally disturbed lay- 
men. But the Journal was apparently 
unwilling to allow the thoughtful read- 
er's growing respect for clerical co 
distract fr the trials and tribulat 
which had for long been associated 
with the marriage counselor's casebook 
and the ph ical coat. While 


the profesor of religion held forth 
hopefully on page 30, "brighthaired 
Ava, slender as a newly planted willow 
tree,” was blurting out all the intimate 
little details of “The Marriage that 
Could Nor Be Saved," on page 82: 
"In spite of everything, 1 don't hate 
Kenneth. In some ways, physical ways, 
perhaps I still Jove him. I miss the 
sexual part of our marriage. When- 
ever he drops by Mother's place with 
a basketful of fresh excuses, I tele- 
phone à friend to come and sit in on 
our conversation; I don't entirely trust 
myself not to be hugged and kissed into 
à reconciliation. l believe 1 have 
been more than r to Kenneth. I 
offered him his choice of our furniture 
and he took the TV and hi-fi. . . - All I 
took was an orthopedic bed—a wedding 
present, and the only bed I've ever slept 
in that is perfect for my back . .." 
On page 44, old Mrs. Harrison, the 
Patient of the Month, burst into the 
ollice of her Trusted Physician, and ex- 
claimed; “ “Doctor, J am sixty-e 
I have started to menstruale again! Ev- 
eryone tells me I look younger, too. 
What is happening? Is it good or bad?" 
To hear Mrs. Harrison tell it, every- 
g was hunkydory. After years of 
sing gracefully, she had suddenly cx- 
perienced all the thrilling symptoms of 
a return to youthfulness. ""Fhe first 
thing I noticed was a change in my 
breasts," she explained. “They would 
become engorged and rather painful. 
I marked these episodes down on my 
calendar, found it was happening rough- 
ly once a month. Presently my breasts 
began to assume better shape and 
substance. Rounding out, firming up 
gain. Getting back to the way they 


th 


used to be! . .. 

“This is certainly an interesting sto- 

ry, Mrs. Harrison," the doctor mur- 
mured for all of us. "'Any other 
changes? 
Oh, yes. That was just the begin- 
ning! After a while Arthur started look- 
ing at me in a puzzled way. He would 
say, ^Ellic, you seem younger.” And I 
did! The natural oils have been return- 
ing to my hair and skin, there are fewer 
wrinkles. .. . My friends started com- 
menting about my youthful appearance. 
And I [ecl twenty years younger" 

"That must be exhilarating indeed! 
What made you think there might be 
something unhealthy about this renewal 
of youth? 

““You will probably find this hard to 
believe, Doctor. But I started menstruat- 
ing again! That scemed to be a lite 
too much of a good thing." 

And indeed it was. “Three days later, 
Mrs. Harrison was operated upon, the 
preoperative dingnosis being a tumor of 
the left ovary . . .” Recuperating in a 
quiet column of copy, next to a coffee- 
pot ad, Mrs. H. knowingly inquired, "I 
suppose you removed my second youth, 


along with my female organs? 

“Tm afraid I did, Mrs. Harrison. It 
was à granulosacell tumor that caused 
your second youth. As you suspected, it 
wasn't norma 

“Mrs. Harrison pushed herself up 
higher on her pillow and said. “Doctor, I 
am not going to let you leave this room 
until you have told me all the why and 
how of that weird experience I had! 
Surely it isn't a common onc?’ 

"Well, it isn't rare, And you don't 
have to urge me to tlk about ovari: 
tumors! To me, there are few things 
more interesting. . . . But that is be- 
cause the ovary is such a very special and 
fascinating organ. . Among other 
gs, it contains . . 

But enough of such bedside pretty 
talk. Like all male Journal readers, 1 al- 
ready knew much more than I needed to 
know about the contents of ovaries. 
More interesting, at the moment, was 
the why and wherefore of the ladies 
books’ new fascination with female 
breasts—round, firm references to which 
had been popping up with increasing 
regularity. Putting aside my notes on the 
many lurid matters yet to be discussed— 
a collection of offbeat erotica that made 
my notebook read like the big holiday 
issue of “The Sex Maniac's Newsleucr" 
—I returned to the curious case of 
Evelyn Ayres and her inverted nipple: 
... Have you been pulling it out 
gently several times, morning and night, 
the way Mary Ann showed you 

“Yes, Doctor. And using the soft 
brush and rubbing alcohol on both nip- 
ples twice a day, just as you said to do." 

*'] believe I told you that there is a 
difference of medical opinion as to the 
best method of toughening the nipples. 
. . . But none of the approved methods 
is harmful, and the nipples are such an 
important factor for success in breast 
feeding that it’s worth while doing what 
one can. I hope you have been expre: 
ing the fluid from your breasts?” 

“Yes. I've been doing that morning 
and night, too." 

""Good! Expression of breast fluids 
for several weeks before delivery seems 
quite definitely to stimulate the milk 
glands and bring the milk in earlier. It's 
fine, too, for you to get this practice in 
the technique of manual expression . ..” 

“ “Doctor elyn hesitated, then 
continued impulsively, ‘Please be honest 
with me. Am I being foolish, after all, to 
try to breast feed my baby? 

The doctor looked at Evelyn 
prise, but 1 didn't. 

Familiarity with the format of fear, 
distress and medical salvation that un- 
derlay the docior's monthly sex opera 
had bred in me a sense of foreboding 
1 uneasy premonition of mammary 
malfunctions to come. Having served my 
internship with the Trusted Physician, I 
knew that all the soft brushes and alco- 
hol in the world could not toughen Eve- 


s- 


n sur- 


as 


lyn’s nipples enough to survive br 
fecding her baby without someth 
going catastrophically awry. No matter 
how practiced she might become at 
manual expression, the Ladies’ Home 
Journal would still manage to squeeze a 
few drops of anguish from her breasts 
nd her boubles would soon be trig. 
Before facing up to the fricker-frac 
facts of Evelyn's ordeal, | flipped 
through the pages in search of a spiritual 
word of hope, a positive clerical assur- 
ice that the human body need not be 
an occasion for regret, and that, all 
things considered, sex was still good. 

Unlortunately, however, the “Sex and 
Religion" series was missing that month. 
Possibly it wasn't too popular, 1 
reflecied. Perhaps the ladies had found 
it a bit too upbeat and wholesome to be 
really interesting. There was so little in 
it for anxiety to chew on, so little that a 
woman could personalize in terms of her 
own ovaries, temperature, heartbeat and 
Fallopian tubes. 

But, patient reader, how wrong I 


K 


In making my way back to page 46 fon 
the inside low-down on “The Man Pri 
cess Margaret Married,” I came upon 
Dr. Clifford R. Adams’ "Making Mar- 
riage Work" feature, and ran smack 
a letter that threw me into an insi 
taneous and full-scale 
wife,” some anonymously Troubled 
Hubby wrote from Somewhere, U.S.A. 
“My wife has a crush on our minister 
Isn't this abnormal?” 

Looking back on it now, I can see that 
it wasn't abnormal at all. In light of the 
Journal's “Sex and Religion" series, it 
was, in fact, all too predictable that 
clergymen everywhere would now become 
the objects of the same twittery female 
passions which had formerly been di- 
rected toward obstetricia 

It shouldn't have rattled me as it did. 
I should have been prepared for it. But 
reading that Troubled Hubbys letter 
caused something within me to buckle 
nd snap. The old shakes and staggers 
returned. Magazines and notebook were 
shoved back under the bed, there to 
gather dust for three whole months . . ~ 
Each morning I would open my eyes, 
push myself up higher on my pillow, 
and resolve to so toughen my inverted 
psyche with daily applications of alco- 
hol, and morning and evening practice 
in the techniques of verbal expression, 
that nothing would ever throw me in 
the future—that I would live to write 
nother day, and. complete the final in- 
stallment of this full. . 
vealing story of my second bout with sex 
in the women's magazines. 


This is Pat I of Willian Iver- 
sen's "The Pious Pornographers Re- 
visited.” The conclusion will appear 
next month. 

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BERTRAM (continued from page 142) 


Pasadena in five minutes, Mr. 
Baylor." Bertram sighed and nodded. 
Getting off the train at Pasadena was an 
anoying ploy of 1 the old days, 
before the invention of the DC-3, Hol- 
lywood-bound celebrities invariably got 
off the n at Pasadena to "avoid" the 
press and the admiring throngs, thus 
guarantecing the presence of both with- 
out the distraction of other debarking 
passengers. Bertram did it as a matter 
of form. He considered it a eful bow 
to an old tradition. 

Casey Flannagan, United's publicity 
ector, considered it a damned nui- 
sance. Bertram was not someone who 
could be met by an underling and Casey 
l to make the drive over to Pasadena 
himself. Surprisingly, he found himself 
defending the hated freeway on the way 
m was the kind of irritating 
nt whose condemnation of anything, 
up to and including narcotics, child 
labor and communism, invariably moved 
one to its instant defens 

Dusk was gathering strength by the 
time Casey ushered his charge into a 
$40-aday bungalow on the grounds of 
the Holmby Hills Hotel. 

"She's the shower," he said wearily 
as Bertram cocked an car at the sound of 
running water. 


shoulder. 


“Fine,” said Bertram. "What's her 
name? 

“Marlene.” 

“The last onc was Sheilah and the one 


before that Sandra. Isn’t anybody named 


Mary anymore?” 
ly wife's name is Mary,” Flannagan 
said, wishing he hadn't 


“Oh,” Bertram said, “Well, we're hav- 
ing dinner here? 

“At seven, with Chuck Chamblis. He's 
the star of—” 

“I know, T know—he’s the star of The 
House on H Street, your big new and 
different two-hour dramatic series. It's 
different because longer. Fifteen 
years ago it would have made a passable 
B picture and nobody would have spent 
a dime promoting 

Flannagan let it t seven,” he 
reminded. "And please, don't bring the 
broad. Chamblis will have his wife with 
him and she wouldn't like it. Her name 
is Priscilla.” 


ics 


The following morning, while Chuck 
Chamblis was telling everyone on Stage 
Six out at Magnet Studios that he had 
had his last out-of-town press inter 
he didn't give a damn what United 
Broadcasting said, Bertram Bascomb was 


cw, 


“Now that you've become a prince again, darling, 
must you keep on croaking?" 


being gingerly ushered into the presence 
of Harvey Brewster, vice-president in 
charge of programing, Hollywood, by a 
slightly red-eyed Casey Flam 
“Bert!” said Brewster, his voice ring- 
ing with the sincerity of a used-car sale: 
man at the sight of a prospect. 
There is an art to meeting and grect- 
ing the press and every broadcasting ex 
ecutive worth his inflated salary had. 
Treat him as a friend, as an 
in. Defer to his opinions. 


e his latest column. And tell 
him nothing more than is absolutely 
necessary. 

Having done all this, Brewster 


launched into his standard defense of 
television, hoping to forestall the stand- 
ard Baylor attack. “J think you'll have to 
admit, Bert, that with all its faults 
problems, television is doing a ren 
ably good job. When you conside: 

Bertram waved a weary hand to inter- 
rupt. "Pve been all through that in 
front of two Senate committees, Harve. 
T've got something here that's a lot more 
interesting. A script. Mine. It's exactly 
the kind of thing Washington is looking 
for on TV, only nobody seems to know 
how to write it. Well, here it is. I wanted. 
you to be the first to see it because— 
well, you've always leveled with me, 
Harve, and I have a lot of friends at 
United, a lot of friends.” What he meant 
was, he'd gotten a lot of loot from Unit- 
ed, including several trips to New York 
and Hollywood, and he was on a buddy- 
buddy basis with the network president, 
but these were not things gentlemen dis- 
cussed among themselves. They just 
thought about them. Constantly. 

Brewster blanched. The last thing in 
the world he wanted to be stuck with 
a script from a TV columnist, least 
of all one from Bertram Bascomb Baylor. 

“Bert,” he said, his voice treading the 
thin ntended earnestness 
and hidden panic, “knowing you and 
your work, I'm sure it's an outstanding 
job. But you know policy at United—ev- 
erything goes through the story depart- 
ment. We spend a lot of money on the 
story department and they're well worth 
it. Everything goes through there.” 

Beruam smiled thinly. “New young 
writers and relatives from the East you 
can tell that to, Harve,” he said. “But not 
to old Bert here. I especially want you to 
read this because youre one of the very 
few genuinely sensitive souls in this 
business, The job you and your people 
did on The Last Days of the Aztecs 
was outstanding, superb, enormously 
mov 

Brewster could almost physically feel 
the wap closing. “Bert,” he said, “you 
know I'd love to read anything of yours, 
but I can't even read the title of a thing 
that comes in here without an agent. 
You know u 

“I have an agent, Harve.” 


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Brewster had used his last defense. 
“Well, fine, then!” he said, mustcring 
what heartiness he could. “I'll take it 
home with me tonight. And I sure ap- 
preciate your letting us have first crack 
at it. 

“TI call you in the morning," Ber- 
tram informed him unnecessarily. “I'll 
bc interested in knowing what you think 
of it. It’s an allegory.” 

“I's a what?" Brewster was now fro- 
zen in his seat. 

“An allegory. It's the story of mankind 
and his emotions as told through the 
relationship between a man and a fish, 
Harve, it's good to see you again. I'll 
tlk to you in the morning." 

The door closed gently behind Rer- 
tram and Flannagan. Brewster followed 
them with his mind's eye, saw them out 
of the outer office and down the hall, 
then flicked on the intercom. “Miss 


tween nine and ten in the morn 
not in yet. If he calls after te: 
set at nount. Then Fm at lunch. 
you don't know where. In fact, you've 
been uying to reach me with a New 
York call and can't find me. And then 
T've gone to Barbara for an emer- 
gency conference with someone. You 
think who it is. One other thing. Have 
the phone company change my home 
number immediately and make it unlist- 
ed. Thank you. 

He leaned back in his chair and 
sighed deeply. After a moment he leaned 
over and flicked on the intercom again. 
"Miss Fanchon, be sure to give New 
York the new home phone.” 

One hour later Clarence Frisby, vice- 
president in charge of programing, Hol- 
lywood, for the Federal Broadcasting 
Company, flicked on his intercom. “Miss 
Lemming,” he said, a great weight in his 
voice, “book me on the 
for New York in the morning. And if— 
no, not if—when Mr. Baylor calls, tell 
him Il be in the East indefinitely." 

Onc hour after that the intercom 
gracing the office of Joshua Frost, vice- 
president in charge of programing, Hol- 
lywood, for Global Television, w 
flicked into action. "Miss Pumphrey. 
When Mr. Baylor calls in the morning, 
tell him Fm out. I leave it to you to 
figure out where, but just be sure it's 
someplace where I can't be reached. 
Meanwhile, get me Mr. Brewster on the 
phone at United. 

Mr. Brewster was reached. "Harvey? 
Josh Frost. . .I know it’s your turn this 
year to pick up the Baylor tab, so 
I presume he has already been in to see 
you... Ah. And did he force feed you 
with a script he's written? . . . He did. 
Have you read it? . . . No, neither have 
I. I'm afraid to. How do you say no to a 
guy who's read by everybody in Holly- 
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people in between? ... What do you 
mean, 'only ten million? . . Well, 
what are you going to do about it? Look, 
ifs a cinch Frisbys been sandbagged 
with this thing, too. Let's the three of us 
have lunch tomorrow . . . No, not at the 
Derby. The three of us seen together 
would start all sorts of crazy rumors. 
Better come over to my place . . . You 
now, (ihetoldl Jers) Harlow place. on 
Rexford. And you'd better bring Casey 
Flannagan.” 


The following day the three executives 
and their publicity directors gathered at 
Frost's home. The old Jean Harlow place 
on Rexford. Lunch out of the way, Frost. 
addressed himself to the three publicity 
men. "Have you gentlemen read this— 
uh—this—er this?” They shook their 
heads. “Well, I'm going to read this 
opening scene to you. It will give you an 


exceptionally clear idea of what we're up 


He settled back in his d 
to read. 

“Tt is dawn 
horizon, slowly, 
the distance. The 
speck is now rev 


nd began 


As the camera pans the 
ny speck is seen in 
acra trucks in. The 
led to us as a rowboat 
and in it there sits a man. He is not a 
young man nor is he an old man. He is 
just a man. He is MAN. As the camera 
comes full upon him, he speaks. (Note: 
As this is an allegory, it is not necessary 
to do this scene in actual water. The pow 
crand the sweep of the allegory will bring 
the sea to life as it unfolds and it can be 
staged with inexpensive simplicity.) 
A number of interesting facial expre 
sions, none of them ecstatic, were reg- 
istered around the table during Frost's 
reading, He paused, sighed, then said: 
Are you ready for the power and the 
sweep? 
He continued reading. 
IAN now speaks: 
"The sun is lonely here. 
I sit alone and breathe the damp 
salt and know that I must live. 
And I must wait. 
I must wait for suike of time... 
The wind is lonely here. 
And still I sit alone and hear the 
creak of man-made oar 
And God's own breath on westward 
wing?” 


There was a long pause, and silence, 
One of the publicity directors, the one 
with the quickest recuperative powers, 
said flatly, “You're kidding." 

Frost gave him a cold look. "You 
know what it costs to cater a luncheon 
when your wife doesn’t feel like cook- 
ng? I am not kidding. Gentlemen, we 
have a nice little common problem here. 
Mr. Bertram Bascomb Baylor thinks thi 
is the greatest thing since the invention 
of the kinescope and he fully expects 
ally put 


it on the air. I wouldn't wish it on either 
one of you, any more than I'd expect 
you to wish it on me. So what are we 
going to do about it?” 

Various suggestions, 


ll of them im- 


practical and a few of them somen 


lewd, were made and d; ded. 

Josh Frost finally summed things up. 
"Gentlemen, it’s a cinch that Bert Baylor 
holds the balance of power here. If we 
all three turn him down, I hardly have 
to tell you what he's going to say in his 
column—and keep on saying. That cul- 
ture means nothing to us. That we are 
literate moneygrabbers. Et cetera, et cet- 
era. He's the Bible in Washington, and 
we're all in enough wouble back there 
without any more bad news from this 
If one of us does do this idiot 
sctipt, that network gets graceful bows 
from Bertram and garbage pails from ev- 
ery other critic in the country while the 
other two are put on Baylor's crap list. 

“Now I have a suggestion. Let's put 
together something called the Tri-Net 

"orkshop, a place for new talent to uy 
out its little wings. Air it once a week or 
once a month or as seldom as we pos 
can. We take turns at it, and it gocs 
afternoon at three when every- 
ing polo instead of 
watching television, We'll start with Mr. 
m Bascomb Baylor's The Lonely 
Vigil. We'll have filmed statements from 
the three network presidents, which will 
take some of the onus off the one that 
has to air Baylor's little horror. And 
when the critics get through with The 
Lonely Vigil, I think that will be the end 
of Bertram Bascomb and the Tri-Net 
Workshop. Whichever network gets stuck 
with it, the other two will share expenses 
on an equal basis. 

The idea quietly sos 
of clean white ] 


ed in, like a coat 
aint covering an old eye- 
* Brewster said finally, 


^t Baylor going 10 see dhrough 


All we have to do is 
sell it to him. You forget the man’s cgo. 
What other writer ever got such coop- 


eration from all three networks? 
As an ex-writer myself,” Frisby 
growled, “I resent the use of the word in 


connection with Bertram Baylor. But I 
think you're right, this just might work.” 
Frost was named a committee of one 
to deal with Bertram and reached for 
the patio phone. There was a touch of 
confusion at the beginning of the con- 
versation, Bertram having been under 
the impression that Frost had had to go 
to Alberta, Canada, for his father's fu- 
neral and Frost having forgotten, momen- 
tarily, his instructions to his secretary. 
They made an appointment for lunch 
the next day, in Bertram's bungalow. 
This turned out to be a mistake, be- 
cause Bertram apparently hadn't left the 
bungalow in two days. Neither had Mar- 
lene. Nor was Bertram completely sober. 


He was at that stage where a degree of 
reasonably lucid, if highly impractical, 
solemnity had taken over. 

“Joshie,” he said after listening to 
Frost's pitch, “the trouble with you peo- 
ple here in Hollywood is that you don't 
think big. You're on the right track but 
you're going in the wrong direction. It 
would be fatal, you understand, to give 
network exposure to completely un- 
known talent, even on a Sunday after- 
noon... which is something else I want 
to straighten out with you later. Joshie, 
an, you have the solution staring 


, right here on a silver bcm is— 
The Bertram Bascomb Baylor Theater! Y 
have the name, don't you see? Tri-Net 
Workshop means nothing. But Bertram 
Bascomb Baylor—that means something! 
Even at three o'clock on Sunday after- 
noon, that name will draw an audience 
Ithough that time period is some- 
thing I want to discuss with you as we 
long. 

"And I have more than just the name, 
Joshie boy. 1 have the ability. You think 
The Lonely Vigil was just a one-shot, 
don't you? You think it’s the first and 
only thing I ever wrote and J got lucky, 
don't you? You thought I was just a li'l 
ol’ country boy come up here from New 
Mexico to peddle you an amateurish 
script, that you'd buy just because you 
were afraid not to, didn't you? Well, old. 
Bert fooled you, didn't he? That script 
was so good that just one network was 
big enough to handle it, wasn't i? 
“An’ I'll tell you something else, Josh- 
boy. I got six more scripts in my br 
case there and I got two more than 
that sittin’ home waitin’ to be finished. 
You think The Lonely Vigil is good, 
wait till you read Woman's Work. And 
wait till you see Marlene baby in it! 

When Josh Frost finally managed to 
escape from the bung: he found 
himself tottering. He called a hasty mect- 
ing with the others, telling them Bertram. 
was now apparently all set to sever his 
New Mexico ties and move to Holly 
wood, bag and baggage. 

“He already has the baggage,” Frost 
added sourly. “Her name is Marlene and 
she'll have the lead in his second show, 
Woman's Work. What am I sa 

"Yes," snapped a highly nettled Brew- 
ster. "What arc you saying? First you scll 
him on the idea that we all think he's 
great, and now he's selling us on the 
idea that he's even greater. You got us 
on this hook, Josh, and now you had 
damned well better get us off it. If one 
little tiny word of this gets back to our 
New York people, we're all dead." 

Frost blanched. "Baylor!" he said, hor- 
rorstricken. "Is that guy nutty enough to 
give this to the trade p 

He leaped for his ter “Get me 
Jules Pollard at Variety." He sat silent, 


low, 


Advt, for Falstaff Brewing C Jose, Calif., whose devotion to Art, Litera Music, gracious evenings at home and Great Beer is legend. 


PLAYBOY 


head in hands. The other five slumped 
in their chairs. The suddenly ringing 
phone sounded like the bell for 
round ten of a lost fight. “Jules? Josh 
Frost. Have you talked with Bert Baylor 
today? . .. You have . . . He did." He 
covered the mouthpiece and said to the 
others, “We're dead." Then into the 
phone, “Jules, it simply isn't true . . . 
Well, yes, 1 did talk to him. But... 
Well, yes, 1 did mention a workshop. 
But ... But Jules, you don't under- 
stand . . . No, no, that was Iiis idea. You 
don't think we'd be idiots enough to of- 
fer that maniac his own series, do you? 
-... What do you mean, don't ask you 
that question? . . . Jules, if you print 
t, Ill deny it. We'll all deny it. And 


T'I pull every stick of advertising this 
network ever thought of givin 
The 


; yon 
the 


sudden sereams in 
ter, Frisby 
press agents saying, “Now w 


a minute, 
1” The thought of all that 
publicity going down the 
was almost too much for them. 

No, no, I didn't mean that, Jules,” a 


wait a minut 
y free 


now-sweating Frost went on. "I lost my 
head. But I'll lose my job if you run 
ind of story on this, even a der 
Can't you just forget it? Make like it 
never happened? ... What do you 
mean, what will you tell Baylor? Tell 
him you didn't have the space, it went 
into overset, anything . . . No, no, you 
do not tell him we have denied it. You 
haven't even talked to me . . . Jules, 
please... Jules! .. . Jules?" 

He hung up, Jules having preceded 
him in this maneuver. “I don't know 
what he's going to do, but whatever it is, 
it can't do us any good. We're all going 
to have to call our New York people and 
soften ‘em up for the blov 

“TI call yours if you'll call mine,” 
Brewster said gloomily. 

It was Casey Flannagan who finally 
led the way into the light. "Gentle- 
men, he mused, "we have all over- 
looked a very simple fact.” 

"They all looked at him, as hungry 
cocker spaniels to their master. 

“There is a Mrs. Baylor. Bertram Bas- 
comb has a wife.” 

“I don't want to meet her,” Frisby 
said. “J don't even want to see a woman 
who would marry Bertram Bascomb 
Baylor. 

"You miss the point," Flannagan said 
patiently. “There is Baylor and. there is 
Marlene baby—and there are network 
pros. photographers.” 

The point now came crashing into 
their midst and lay there like a ticking 
bomb. 


the blackmail 


AL to put us 
Frost asked. 

"You are already in the blackmail 
business, but in the wrong end of it. If 
you are going to be in it at all, it makes 


bu 


204 more sense not to be the victim.” 


Zascy," Brewster said, "I am going to 
buy you and your wife the biggest, most 
expensive dinner Dave Chasen ever 
served to four people.” 


Getting the appropriate pictures was 
no problem at all. Bertram was now liv- 
ing in the best of all possible worlds. He 
was ensconced in a luxurious bungalow, 
all tabs being picked up by United 
Broadcasting. Three networks were bid- 
ding for his services as a writer and pro- 
ducer. The Bertram Bascomb Baylor 
Theater was all but a reality, which 
would easily mean a million dollars to 
him. And Marlene baby was a doll, a 
darb, a duck. (Marlene had been cating 
and drinking for free for three days now 
and this guy even signed for cashmere 
sweaters. Who needed a career when 
they still grew guys like Bertram Bas- 
comb?) 

On the morning of Bertram's fourth 

day in town—or, more accurately, in the 
bungalow—he received a phone call 
from Harvey Brewster. “Bert,” Brewster 
said, “will you please be in my office at 
two this afternoon?” There was some- 
thing in Brewster's voice that gave 
Bertram use. That man hadn't even 
mentioned lunch—and to speak to a 
member of the press without mentioning 
lunch was like forgetting the responses 
in church. 
At two o'clock Bertram presented 
himself in Brewster's office. After all, a 
million dollars w a million dollars, 
surcly worth getting dressed for, and 
even leaving the party. Waiting for him 
were Brewster, Frost and Frisby with 
their respective publicity directors, and 
right away Bertram got the fecling that 
this was not a reception commiuce 
bearing the Pulitzer Prize. 

“Sit down, Bert,” Brewster said with 
no particular warmth. “We want to talk 
to you. Casey, would you please give that 
of pictures to Bert.” There was a 
period of uncomfortable silence while 
Bertram looked at the pictures and 
began to get the message. 

, uh, don't quite understand this," 
he said, understanding it all too well. “If 
this is your idea of a publicity stunt or 
something, certainly not mine. T 
want these prints and negatives destroyed 
immediatel 

He'd have had a happier time asking 
Khrushchey to sign a unilateral total 
disarmament treaty. 

“Bert,” Brewster said softly, “there are 
some things you should know and I will 
be happy to tick them off for you. One: 
Your Lonely Vigil script is probably the 
worst, most immature piece of preten- 
tious trash any one of us has ever read. 
Two: It is not going to be produced by 

nybody. Three: There is going to be no 
Bertram Bascomb Baylor Theater, unless 
you want to start it yourself at your own 
expense on some local station in New 
Mexico that has temporarily run out of 


fourth-run, fifth-rate old movies. Four: 
Starting today, you are moving out of 
the bungalow and into a motel. You alsa 
are going to start covering all our shows 
and writing about them, This may come 
as something of a distinct shock to you, 
but we are not shoveling out all this 
money on your behalf simply because we 
love you. Five: You have a widely syndi 
cated column, which gives you a lot of 
power, But we now have these pictures, 
which gives us even more power. All we 
ask from you is a fair return for our 
moncy and fair treatment in your col- 
umn. Otherwise these pictures will be 
hand-delivered by a special messenger to 
Mrs Bertram Bascomb Baylor—and 
there is a really shocking rumor going 
around, Bertram, to the effect that you 
married Mrs. Baylor for her money.” 

Bertram, who was now the color of an 
uncooked carp, m 
single word: "Blackm 

"Exactly" said Brewste 
smoothly. "You have just said the j 
pot word—blackmail, But its really 
not costing you anything you've ever 
earned, now, is it? Oh, and by the way, 
Miss Marlowe has been assigned a small 
role in the current episode of The 
House on H Street, so she'll be working 
for the rest of the time you're here. A 
shame, but it couldn't be helped 

“Miss Marlowe?” mumbled the 

Bertram. “I don't know 
Marlowe. 
Marlene baby,” Brewster said, “Mar- 
lowe is her last name. How nice for you 
that you now know it. You can send her 
a postcard from East Pecos." 

Bertram, defeated, left, a depressing 
figure. The others left. And Brewster 
was alone in his office, looking like a 
man who had just won a long, hard- 
fought battle with the Internal Revenue 
Service, He punched the intercom. “Mi 


dazed 
any Miss 


bI 
Fanchon. Have a bottle of good Scotch 
sent over to Mr. Pollard at Variety. Just 
write "Thank ne of my cards, in 

ig." Josh Frost, he thought 
10 himself, wouldn't think of it, so why 
add his name? 

He picked up his copy of The Lonely 
Vigil, held it gingerly by one corner, 
walked across the room and deposited it 
in a large wastebasket. His intercom 
buzzed. "Mr. Albright of the Chicago 
Globe is here to sce you.” 

Brewster sighed, “Show him right in,” 
he said, conscious of the fact that Al- 
bright could hear his voice on the inter- 
com. He took a deep breath, braced 
himself against the table at the far side 
of the room. 

"Roger!" he said, his voice ringi 
with the sincerity of a used-car salesman 
at the sight of a prospect. "Roger, baby! 
How wonderful to sce you again! Those 
pieces on the Senate  investigation— 
marvelous, marvelous! How the hell are 


you? 
Ba 


my handwri 


205 


fjalls nf Juy (continued from page 108) 


The college has spent a lot 
of Government and foundation money 
on pretentious buildings with plush 
lounges, but the food is lousy and the 
new dormitories are like Bedlam for 
want of soundproofing, It's a world tai- 
lored for catalog photographs, not for 
living. The administration is strongly 
against fraternity houses because of the 
exclusion clauses and because they de 
stroy cohesiveness of the student body; 
these are excellent reasons, but one some- 
times suspects that the motive is chiefly 
rent gouging, since with urban renewal 
and arca redevelopment many colleges 
have become great landlords. (In fact, 
some prestigious centers of learning arc, 
under fictitious names, urban slumlords; 
or alternately, they gobble up n 
hoods, dislocate tenants, disrupt com- 
es.) If students want to live off 
campus in their own coopera 

are avuncularly told that they 
mature enough to feed their faces 
make their beds. There are exquisitely 
elaborate regulations governing sexual 
and convivial behavior—days and hours 
and how many inches the door must be 
open and whose fect must be on the 
ground. If these 19- and 20-year-olds 
were factory hands, nobody would fuss 
about their sex lives or drinking habits, 
so long as they arrived punctually at the 
plant the next morning; as studen: 
they are supposed to be the chosen of 
the land, the hope of the future, but 
they are not “responsible.” Ncedless to 
say, despite the regulations, the young 
make love anyway, but frequently the 
conditions are not charming. The de- 
grading atmosphere of the much-publi- 


cized "wild college weekend” develops 

as an inevitable reaction to, or revolt 

inst, such strict and patronizing 
ons. 


The administration claims to be in 
loco parentis, yet many of these young 
men and women had more freedom at 
home, when they were still kids in high 
school. The psychologist in charge of 
guidance has made a speech about the 
awful plight of unwed mothers—with 
about as much compassion as they used 
to speak of "bastards"—but he will not 
ask the infirmary to give contraceptive 
information on request. One has more 
than a strong suspicion that all this pa 
rental concern has nothing whatever to 
do with the students’ welfare, but is for 
public relations. The college motto may 
be Lux el Veritas, but there is a strong 
smell of hypocrisy in the air. 

Maybe the most galling thing of all is 
that there is a student government, with 
po factions and pompous elections 
lt is empowered to purchase the class 
rings and organize the prom and the 
boat ride. Our young man no longer 


206 bothers to vote. 


Now our average student's face isn't 
quite so blank. Jt is wearing a little 
The fact is, he is no longer me 
ically taking notes but is frankly 
daydreaming, as he used to in the sixth 
grade, ten years ago. Think of it: There 
might be four or five more years of this, 
for his father wants him to continue in 
graduate school. This will make 19 years 
of schooling. 

This is an appalling prospect! He 
will now have to do “original research” 
under these conditions of forced labor. 
And he will be in a panic about fa 
or not getting the assistantship, because 
he now has a wife and an infant to 
support. 

Of course, many of the unfavorable 
college conditions that 1 have been de- 
scribing can be, and should be, im- 
proved. In my book The Community of 
Scholars, I suggested a number of ex: 
pedients. Grading. for example, can be 
scrapped (keeping tests as a useful 
pedagogic device). There can be more 
part-time active professionals in the fac 
ulty, to generate a less academic atmos- 
phere. There are several arr 
for teachers to pay more attention to 
student: cover thei 
tions, guide them in more individual 
programs. The social sciences can be 
made less unreal by working pragmati- 
cally on. problems of the college com- 
munity itself and its immediate rural or 
city environment. The moral rules can 
be reformed to suit the purpose of an 
educational community, which is to 
teach responsibility by giving freedom in 
an atmosphere of counsel and support. 
Certainly these and other reforms are 
possible. 

Nevertheless, when we consider those 
14 years, 16 years, 20 years of schoolin; 


we cannot avoid a far more 


question. Why is the young man in this 
classroom in the first place? 1t suits him 
so badly! He is bright, but not bookish; 
curious, but not scholarly: teachable, but 
not in this way. Of course he must be 
educated, everybody must be educated; 
but has school been the best way to edu- 
cate him? We have seen him in other sit- 
uations than school, when he looked far 
brighter, both more spontancous and 
more committed; when he learned a lot, 
and fast, simply because he wanted to or 
really had to. Maybe, for him, the entire 
high school and college institution, in 
the form that we know it, has been a 
mistake. If so, what a waste of his youth 
and of the social wealth! 

Every child must be educated, brought 
up to be useful to himself and society. 
In our society this must be done largely 
at public expense, as a community 
necessity; certainly Americans ought to 
spend more on it than they do. But it is 
aply a superstition, an official supersti 
n and a mass superstition, that the 


way to educate a majority of the young 
is to keep them in schools for 12 to 20 
years. 

The hard task of education, as ] see it, 
to liberate and strengthen a youth's 
i nd at the same time to make 
him able to cope with the activities 
culture of society, so that his 
can be relevant. In a democ 
citizen is supposed to be a new center of 
decision. But schools and colleges, as we 
have them, are boxes in which the young 
mainly face front and do assigned les- 
sons according to predetermined pro- 
grams, under the control of professional 
educators who are rarely professional in 

ny other way. Then by magic, after 
years of nothing but this, the young are 
supposed to decide their own careers, 
make a living in a competitive market, 
choose to marry or not marry, and vote 
for President of the United States. 

At no other time or place in history 
have people believed that such schools 
were the obvious means to prepare most 
youth for most careers, whether crafts- 
ndustrial worker, nurse, 
chitect, writer, engineer, lawyer, shop: 
keeper, party boss, social worker, sailor 


citizen. Many of these careers require a 
lot of study; some need academic teach- 


ing; but it has never before bcen 
thought useful to give teaching in such 
massive and continuous doses. 

The idea of everybody going to a 
secondary school and college has accom- 
panied a recent stage of highly central- 
ized corporate and state economy and 
policy. Universal higher schooling is not, 
as people think, simply a logical con- 
tinuation of universal primary schooling 
in reading and democratic socialization. 
Tt begins to orient to careers and it oc- 
curs after puberty, and jobs and sex are 
not usually best learned about in acade- 
mics. In my opinion, there is no single 
institution, like the monolithic school 
system increasingly programed by a few 
graduate universities (and the curricu- 
lum reformers of the National Science 
Foundation), that can prepare everybody 
for an open future of a great society. 
What we are getting is mot education 
but regimentation—baby-sitting, pol 
ing, brainwashing and procosing tech- 
nicians for a few corporations at the 
publics expense. (About 35 percent oL 
college graduates go into the corpora 


tions; a good percentage enter govern- 
ment service and teaching; less than 2 
percent engage in 
prise") We are 


"independent. enter- 
creasingly closed 
society, dominated by the sovereign and 
the feudal corporations. Instead of edu- 
cation being a means of liberation, inde- 
pendence and novelty, everybody pays 
for schooling that rigidifies the status 
quo still further. 

At present, facing a confusing future 
of automated technology and entirely 


an 


new patterns of work and leisure, the 
best educational brains ought to be de- 
voting themselves to devising many var- 
ious means of educating and paths of 
growing up, appropriate to various tal- 
cnt, conditions and careers. We should 
be experimenting with different kinds of 
schools, with no school at all, using the 
real cities as schools, or farms as schools, 
with practical apprenticeships, guided 
travel, work camps, little theaters, com- 
munity service, etc. Probably most of all, 
we need 10 revive the community and 
community spirit in which many adults 
who know something, and not only pro- 
fessional teachers, will pay attention to 
the young. 

Instead of new thought, the tendency is 
crashingly in the opposite direction 
streamline, aggrandize and totalize what 
we have. (Just recently, with the unan- 


olds graduated from high school, and the 
President is Jeading a vigorous campai 
to cajole and threaten the rest back into 
school. About 35 percent go to college 
and, by 1970, it is hoped to push this 
figure to 50 percent. It has recently been 
proposed to make the two-year junior 
college compulsory. Among all liberals 
and champions of the underprivileged, 
it is an article of faith that. salvation 
for the Negroes and Spanish Americans 
consists in more schooling at the middle- 
class level. And all educatio obser! 
ers, from hard-liners like Rickover, 
through s Conant, to "liberal" 
thinkers like Marty Mayer, insist that 
salvation for America lies tightening 
d upgrading middle-class schools and 
getting rid of progressive methods that 
might give the kid a chance to breathe. 

Like any mass belief, the superstition 
that schooling is the only path to success 
is self-proving. There are now no profes- 
sions, whether laborstatesman, architect, 
or trainer in gymnastics, that do not re- 
quire college degrees. Standards of licen: 
ing are set by boards of regents who 
talk only school language. For business 
or hotel management it is wise to have a 
master's. Access to the billions for re- 
ich and development is by Ph.D. only, 
and prudent parents push their young- 
sters accordingly; only a few are going 
to get the loot, bui all must compet 
Department stores require a high school 
diploma for a salesgirl; this might seem 
irrelevant, but it speaks for punctuality 
and good behavior. Thus, effectually, 
whether it is rational or not, a youth has 
no future if he quits, or falls off the 
school ladder. Farm youth can still drop 
out without too much clattcr, but the 
rural population is now only eight pe 
cent and rapidly diminishing. 

We can understand and evaluate our 
present situation if we review the history 


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208 prestige of his comm 


“Miss, that person is making a fool of you!” 


of schooling in this country during this 
century. 

By 1900, our present school system was 
established in its main out! with al- 
ost universal primary schooling, in a 
great variety of local arrangements. Yet 
only six percent of the 17-yearolds in 
that year graduated from high school. 
Maybe another ten percent would have 
graduated if they could have afforded it 
(recently James Conant has estimated 
that only 15 percent are “academically 
talented”). Now we may assume that 
those six percent were in classrooms be- 
cause they wanted to be there. There 
were no blackboard jungles or startling 
problems of discipline. More important, 
such students could be taught a curricu- 
lum, whether traditional or vocational, 
that was interesting and valuable for it- 
self; they were not merely being chased 
up a ladder by parents and police, or 
pulled up by the corporate need for 
PhDs. 

But who were the 94 percent who did 


e said, 
future farmer, shopkeeper, 
millionaire, politician, inventor, journal- 
ist. Consider the careers of two well- 
known architects who were born around 
that time. One quit school at the seventh 
grade to leave home and support him- 
self. After a few jobs, he gravitated to an 
architect’s office as an office boy and 
found the art to his liking. He learned 
draftsmanship in the office, and French 
and some mathematics on the outside 
(with the help of friendly adults), and he 
eventually won the Beaux-Aris prize and 
studied in a Paris atelier. Today he has 
built scores of distinguished buildings 
and, as the graduate professor of design 
at a great university, is onc of the most 
famous teachers in the country. The oth- 
er architect happens to be the most suc 
cessful in America in terms of size and 
ions, He quit 


school at age 13 to support his mother. 
Working for a stonecutter, he learned to 
draw, and in a couple of years he cut out. 
for New York and apprenticed himself 
10 an architect. He studied languages 
and mathematics in competition with a 
roommate. Via the Navy in 1918, he went 
to Europe with some money in his pocl 
ct and traveled and studied. Returning, 
he made a splendid marriage, and so 
forth. 

These two careers—not untypical ex- 
cept for their éclat—are almost unthink- 
ble in our day. How could the young 
men be licensed without college degrees? 
How could they get college degrees with- 
out high school diplomas? But they had 
the indispensable advantage. that. they 
were deeply self-motivated, went at their 
own pace, and could succumb to fascina- 
tion and risk. Would these two men 
have become architects at all if they had 
been continually interrupted by high 
school chemistry, freshman composition, 
psychology 106? Indeed, it would be a 
useful study, which I have not made, to 
find how many people who grew up 
from 1900 to 1920 and have made great 
names in the sciences, arts, literature, 
government, business, etc., actually went 
through the continuous 16-year school 
grind, without quitting for good, or 
quitting and occasionally returning. 

As the decades passed, higher school- 
ing began to be a mass phenomenon. In 
1930, 30 percent graduated from high 
school and 11 percent went to college. 
And by 1960, we see 60 percent have 
graduated, of whom more than half have 
gone to college. Who now are the other 
40 percent? They are the dropouts, most- 
ly urban-underprivileged and rural. From 
this group we do not much expect splen- 
did careers in architecture, politics or 
literature. They are not allowed to get 
jobs before 16; they find it hard to get 
jobs after 16; they might drop out of 
society altogether, because there is now 


no other track than going to school. 

What happened to the schools during 
this tenfold increase from 1900 to 1960? 
Administratively, of course, we simpl 
aggrandized and burcaucratized the ew 
isting framework, "The system now looks 
like the system then. But in the process 
of massification, it suffered a sea change. 
Plant, teacher selection and methods 
‘were increasingly standardized. The stu- 
dents were a different breed. Not many 
were there because they wanted to be 
there; a lot of them, including many of 
the bright and gifted. certainly wanted 
to be elsewhere and began to make trou- 
ble. The academic curriculum was neces- 
sarily trivialized. An important func 
of the schools began to be baby-si 
and policing. The baby-sitting was con 
tinued into the rah-rah colleges, to 
accommodate the lengthening youth 
unemployment. 

Naturally, in the aggrandized system, 
educational administration became ver 
grand. This was important because of 
the very irrelevance of the system itself, 
the inappropriate students and the fee 
ble curriculum. Stuck with a bad id 
the only way of coping with the strains 
was to have more assistant. princi 
counselors, truant officers, university 
courses in methods, revised textbooks. 
Currently, we are getting team teaching, 
visual aids, higher horizons. And to com- 
pensate for the mass trivializing of the 
curriculum, there are intellectually gift- 
cd. classes, enrichment, advanced place- 
ment. (Also, opportunity classes for the 
dull and 600 schools for the emotionally 
disturbed.) The freshman year in college 
has been sacrificed to surveys and fresh: 
man composition, to make up for lost 
ground and to weed out the unfit. Corre 
spondingly, from 1910 on, school superin- 
tendents have become scientific business 
managers and educators with a big E, 
nd college presidents have become 
mighty public spokesmen. Public rela- 
tions flourish apace. 

Until recently, however, the expan- 
sion—though abundantly foolish—was 
ily harmless. It was energized by 
generous warm democracy and an inno- 
cent seeking for prestige by parents be- 
coming affluent. By and large, the pace 
was easygoing. Few adolescents had 
cause to suffer nervous breakdowns be- 
cause of the testing, and one could get a 
gentlemanly C by coasting. The unfortu- 
nate thing was that everybody began to 
believe that being in school was the 
only way to be educated. What a genera- 
tion before had been the usual cou 
to quit school and seek elsewhere to 
grow up—became a sign of eccent 
failure, delinquency. 

But suddenly, since the Korean War, 
and hysterically since Sputnik, there has 
developed a disastrous overestimation of 
studying and scholarship. Mothers who 
used to want their offspring to be “well 
adjusted,” are now mad for the I.Q. and 


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the percentile. Schools that were lax, 
democratic or playful, are fiercely com- 
petitive, and an average unbookish youth 
finds himself in a bad fix. He may not be 
ble to cope with the speed-up and the 
strict grading, vet if he fails there are 
loud alarms about his predelinquency, 
and there are national conferences on 
dropouts. 

It is an educational calamity. Every 
kind of youth is hurt. The bright but 
unacademic can perform, but the per- 
formance is not authentic and there is a 
pitiful loss of what they could be doing 
with intelligence, grace and force. The 
average are anxious, the slow are humi 
ated. In the process the natural scholars 
are ruined; bribed and pushed, they for 
get the meaning of their gift. Nothing i 
studied for its own sake. Bright young- 
sters "do" the Bronx High School of 
Science in order to "make" MIT, just 
they will "do" MIT in order to 
make" General Dynamics. 

1 doubt that any of this rat race is use- 
ful. Given quiet and food and lodging, 
young scholars would study anyway, 
without grades. According to the consen- 
sus of teachers of science, reported in 
Jerome Bruners The Process of. Educa- 
tion, drilling, testing and competition— 
the sine qua non of our educational sys- 
tem—are incompatible with learning to 
do creative research. Is there evidence 
that most creative youngsters, whether in 
sciences, aris or professions, especially 
thrive on formal schooling at all, rather 
n by exploring and gradually gravi- 
tating to the right work and environ- 
ment? Por some, schooling no doubt 
saves time; for others, it is interruptive 
nd depressing. On lower levels of per- 
do the technical and clerical 
ncreasingly automated produc- 
lly require so many years of bon- 
ing and test-passing as is claimed? I asked 
the United Automobile Workers how 
much formal schooling is required for 
the average worker in the most automat- 
ed plant The answer was: None what- 
ever. (It takes three weeks to break in 
a man.) In a year in the Army, average 
nductees somehow learn to rcad blips 
and repair machinery. To put it bluntly, 
generally speaking it is not the fancy 
training that is lacking, but the jobs. 

For urban poor kids who arc cajoled 
to not drop out, the miseducation is a 
cruel hoax. They are told that the high 
school diploma is worth money, but 
what if the increment amounts, after 
several years, to five dollars a week? Is 
this worth such arduous effort, in itself 
distasteful and to them unnatural? Isn't 
a lad wiser to choose the streets for the 
few years of his youth? 

Of course, there is no real choice. Poor 
people must picket for better schools 
that will not suit most of their children 
d won't pay off. Farm youth must ride 
to central schools that are a waste of 
time for most of them, while they lose 


the competence they have. Middle-class 
youth must doggedly compete and be 
tested to death, to get into colleges 
where most of them will cynically or 
doggedly serve time. It is ironical. With 
all the money spent on research and de- 
velopment, for hardware, computers and 
tranquilizers, Americ n think up only 
one institution for its young human re- 
sources. Apparently, the schooling that 
we have already had has brainwashed 
everybody. 

"This is the social and historical back- 
ground out of which our young friend 
has come to that dazed look in the col- 
lege classroom. He has been through a 
long process that has sapped his initia- 
tive, discouraged his sexuality, dulled his 
curiosity and probably even his intellect. 
His schooling has distorted earnestness 
and ambition. If he went to a good sub- 
urban high school, he no doubt engaged 
in the fun and games by which middle- 
class youth sabotage the system. Even 
the highly intelligent often resist by "un- 
derachieving"—they do not want to 
achieve in this way. Much of the social 
life and subculture that defeats the 
schools’ purposes is spiteful despair. 
School is pointless, but it prevents any- 
thing else. A fellow can’t quit and earn 
his own money. 

What to do for him, or at least for the 
next generation of him? 

Here are some possibilities: 

Maybe the chief mistake that we make 
is to pay too much direct attention to 
the “education” of the children and ado- 
lescents, rather than provide them with 
a worthwhile adult world in which 
they can grow up. In a curious way, the 
exaggeration of schooling is both a ha 
exploitation of the young, regimenting 
them, and a guilty coddling of them, 
since mostly they are useless in our 
world and we want them to waste thei 
hours 

Certainly 
would be more cultural than the average 


classroom for the average youth. 
We must start from where we are. A. 
promising present expedient is to devel- 


op the many public enterprises that we 
have been neglecting, for they can also 
be educational opportunities for the 
you ively alternatives to continu. 
ing in school, and to spend on these 
some of the money now misused on 
schools for the nonacademic. (It costs 
$750 a year to keep a youth in a New 
York City high school; also, more than 
$2000 a year to process him in a reform 
school.) 

For instance, there are scores of thou- 
sands of ugly small towns in the country 
to be improved, where adolescents could 
do most of the work. These could be lo- 
cal affairs, or private enterprises, or we 
could apply to the purpose the Youth 
Work Camps proposed by Senator Hum- 
phrey in 1959, modeled on the Civilian 
Conservation Corps of the Thirties, but 


with smaller gangs and paying the youth 
Army minimum. (Incidentally, after the 
smoke of criticism cleared away, the 
CCC was judged to have been econom- 
ically worth while, and many of its 
products have been lovely and lasting.) 

Another necessary enterprise is com- 
ice like the Friends’ Youth 
Service. Mobilization for youth 
might be useful if it got out of the an- 
tidelinquency business and out of the 
Department of Justice. In the past few 
years, hundreds of students have in fact 
left their disappointing colleges to work 
‘on Negro problems in the Northern Stu- 
dent Movement, CORE and the Student 
Nonviolent Coordinating Committee. 

Here is a suggestion for the nonac 
demic who are especially bright and tal- 
ented. In order to countervail the mass 
communications that swamp us with 
mediocre canned entertainment and 
brainwash us with uniform informati 
we need hundreds, perhaps thou 


nds, 


nish ren 
ble opportunities for youthful spirit 
labor under professional direction. (To 
help finance these, I have elsewhere pro- 
posed a graduated tax on the size of the 
audience of the mass media, to create a 
fund earmarked for the counterbalanc- 
ing independent. media.) 

In general, voca 
cluding much laboratory scientific train- 
ing, ought to be carried on as technical 
apprenticeships within the relevant 
dustries. Certainly the big corporations 
have a direct responsibility for the fu- 
ture of their young, rather than simply 
skimming off the cream of those 
schooled, tested and graded at the public 
expense. 

Interestingly, the retraining and reha- 
bilitation programs of the Departments 
of Labor and Justice usually have better 
ational ide induding schooling, 
n the direct school-aid bills. Since 
much of the Federal aid to educa 
has been balked because of the hang-up 
on the parochial-school issue, some of 
the money has been allotted indirectly 
and more effectively, but not through 
the school systems. 

Small farms should be used as educa- 
tional environments. Consider if June 
through September a small farmer of 
depopulating Vermont would put up 
half a dozen New York slum children. 
He would get $100 a head—it costs $600 
a year 10 keep a child in a New York 
City primary school. ‘This, across the 
counuy, would rescue thousands of eco- 
nomically marginal farms and bring 
thousands of others back into operatior 
and it is, without doubt, a wise policy to 
reverse the 8 percent rural ratio to some- 
thing nearer 25 percent, if it can be 
done not on a cash-crop basis. 

Again, on the model of the GI Bill, we 
might boldly allot a certain amount of 


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public-school money—now allocated to 
college, high school, and even primary 
school—direetly to the students or par- 
ents, to be voluntarily used for any pur- 
pose plausibly educational. This would 
produce a great variety of educational 
experiments, some weird, some excellent. 
But there is no such uniformity of need 
or educational theory as warrants the 
present improbable uniformity of the 
public schools from coast 10 coast. 

Most important of all, given academic 
as well as unacadcmic alternatives, the 
young can be allowed to experiment in 
their 12 to 16 years of lessons rather 
than feel that they are trapped and must 
face front. Late bloomers might the; 
choose to return to formal academi 
study, without having been permanently 
soured by schooling that was inappropri- 
ate to them, and that they underwent 
unwillingly. Surely many on the GI Bill 
profited by going to school maturcly, 
when they knew what they wanted and 
were sexually sure of themselves 

Finally, let me fit these proposals for 
secondary and higher education into the 
present framework of the colleges and 
universities. Returning to their tradition 
of agriculture and mechanics, the 
state colleges could become adminis 
tive centers for the public cnterprises 
mentioned above: town improvement, 
radio stations, rural culture, health and 
community service. Many of the students 
would have been working in the ficld on 
these projects; and they could soft-pedal 
the compulsory academic program that 
now wastefully leads to 50 percent drop- 
outs. Conversely, the liber: 
leges could return to their 
intellecuial tradition of natural philoso- 
phy, scholarship and the humanities 
Professional and graduate schools could 
work far morc closely with the working 
professionals and industries in society, 
with whom many of the adolescents 
would have served apprenticeships. 
They would thus avoid the present ab- 
surdity of teaching a curriculum ab 
stracted from the work in the field and 
then licensing the graduates to return to 
the field to learn the actual work. 

I realize that all of this—like much 
else that I have written—is hopelessly 
We are in the enthusiasti 
flood tide of a delusion about schooling 
that can sweep us to a future of pre- 
fabricated, spiritless and fundamentally 

norant people. But let me ask young 
lers to consult their own experience, 
nd to consider what they want for th 
younger brothers and sisters and [or 
their own child: chooling is one sub- 
ject where the young know more d 
their elders; they are closer to it and 
they have had more of it. Unfortunately, 
they can't imagine alternatives, any oth- 
er ways of growing up. But that is what 
we—and they—must put our minds to. 


current attractions 


last stragglcr pulls up to the buffet. 

Perhaps the prime advantage the ap: 
pliance-atuuned host has over others is 
that when his guests are taking their 
case around his cocktail table, he, too, 
able to rela: nd devil take formal din- 
ner protocol and clock watching. For 
fostering this kind of civilized relaxation, 
there are hot buffet servers, hot tables 
and hot serving wagons, all of the plug: 
in family, in many sizes and models. 
Any casserole, p pan or plauer 
placed on them should have à. perfectly 
flat bottom for maximum surface-tosur- 
face coni Hot foods that should 
never under any conditions wait for the 
guests— s shirred eges or souffl 
don't belong on hot tables. But chowders, 
casseroles, stews and most sauce dishes 
or sauces actually become mellower 
during their warm-up period. 

The sheer profusion of clecirical 
kitchen gadgetry already begor and still 
being born at an explosive rate, is so 
great that a cook must use a certain 
amount of restraining judgment in de- 
ciding just how much his atelier 
hold. If the job of vegetable peel 
minds him too vividly of K. P., he may 
buy an elecuic potato peeler that re 
moves not only potato skins but shaves 
the hides off beets, carrots, asp 
and broccoli stems. If he wants to add 
to his oven space, there's a portable 
electric roaster. The ham that comes out 
of the electric roaster may be carved 
with an electric carving knife, fitted 
with dual blades that snick back and 
forth like a hedge trimmei is ham 
can be served with a madeira sauce kept 
warm in an electric sauceboat, accom- 
panied by French bread nestling in an 
electrically warmed breadbasket. In time 
hell learn that if he wants only a few 
teaspoons of minced shallots, it’s actual- 
ly easier to mince them by hand with a 
French knife than to use the clec- 
tric vegetable-mincer attachment which 
must be assembled, disassembled d 
rinsed for a relatively minor job. On 
the other hand, if he's cutting Spanish 
onions for hot onion soup at a midnight 
party, the electric slicer turns out to be 
a heavensent time- and tearsaver. The 
absolute summit of the how- 
get department, 
with the battery-powered pepper grinder. 

Most pieces of electrical equipment 
have individual personalities. The clec- 
tric open-hearth broiler, for instance, 
with its source of heat beneath, rather 
than above, the steaks and chops, is 
one of the few portable broilers that 
really browns the meat rather than 
cooking it to a neutral gray. Fat drip- 
ping past the hot rods falls into a pan 


far enough below the heat so that the 


chance of a conflagration is nil. An occa- 
sional wisp of smoke and some spatter- 
ing will show up from time to time, but 


(continued from page 122) 


you'll never find yourself groping in the 
dense smoke screen laid down by most 
permanent indoor broilers. "The open- 
hearth broiler won't char food like a 
fierce charcoal fire or gas flame: but the 
resultant beef or lamb flavor has a clean 
natural taste which veteran becfcaters 
or lambeaters find dcl us. 

‘The electric brochette or upright clec 
tric skewer stove radiates a gentle, easy- 
going heat. For delicate foods such as 
scallops, sweetbreads or chicken livers, 
where only modest is required, 
the electric brochette does a handsome 
job. Shish kabobers should allow about 
one half hour cooking time for lamb on 
the electric brochette. Large cubes of 
food won't fit; the space between the 
skewer and the hot cage allows pieces 
no larger than one inch in thickness. 

For the history-bent chef, the elec- 
tric waffle iron is a reminder that one of 


Jefferson's most significant 
s been comparatively neglected. 
Jefferson introduced waffles to the Unit 
ed States. As early as the Tenth Century 
rope wafles were being celebrated 
in ballads. While waffle irons are sup- 
posed to have originated in Holland, the 
French seized upon this ingratiating 
form of pastry, and developed it over 
the centuries into its many variegated 
and delicate versions—waflles made from 
rolled biscuit dough, waflles of light 
yeast batter, waffles with sweetcream 
filling and butterrich waffle cakes. 
afes in the electric 
waflle iron are now an effortless art. 

"To illustrate how little energy is need- 
ed for high-voltage gastronomy, try any 
of the following recipes, cach. designed 
for four portions. 


Needless to say. w 


COLD CREAM OF ALMOND SOUP 


1 cup blanched sliced almonds 
2 12-02. cans chicken broth with rice 


THROUGH THESE PorTaLs 

PASS THE MOST INPORTINT: 

PEOPLE m THE WORLD ~ 
OUR CUSTOMERS. 


R ue Eg. 
“Hypocrites!” 


213 


PLAYBOY 


214 per 


1 cup milk 
34 cup light cream 

3 tablespoons very dry sherry 

Salt, white pepper, cayenne pepper 
I teaspoon minced chives 

Preheat oven at 375°. Spread almonds 
a shallow pan and roast in oven until 
light brown, stirring occasionally to 
brown evenly. Avoid scorching. Set aside 
2 tablespoons almonds for gamishing 
soup. Place balance of almonds in blend- 
er with chicken broth and milk, Blend 
30 seconds. Remove from blender and 
stir in crcam and sherry. Add salt and 
pepper to taste and a dash of cayenne. 
Chill soup frigerator, at least $ 
hours. Pour into prechilled cups. Float 
reserved almonds on top and sprinkle 


served hot if desired. 


CURRIED FROGS’ LEGS 
11% Ibs. frogs’ legs 
& cup flour 
pepper 

teaspoon paprika 
tablespoon salad oil 
blespoon butter 

teaspoon curry powder 
tablespoons minced onion 
% teaspoon minced garlic 
blespoon minced parsley 

VW, cup dry white wine 

1% cup chicken broth or stock 

for can Kalian plum tomatoes, 

coarsely chopped 

2 tablespoons cognac 

Cut feet from frogs legs. Cut cach 
pair in half. Upper and lower parts of 
legs may be detached or left whole. Put 
flour, 1 teaspoon salt, 14 teaspoon pep- 
per, paprika and frogs’ legs into a paper 
bag and shake well. Remove legs from 
off excess flour. In electric 
killet preheated at 300°, heat l oil 
ad butter until butter melts. Sauté 
frogs’ legs until meat is firm, about 5 
minutes, stirring frequently. 
powder, onion, garlic, parsley 
and stir well. Simmer 3 minutes. Add 
chicken broth and tomatoes. Reduce he: 
to 250° and simmer 8 minutes. Add 
cognac. Correct seasoning. Serve at once 
or keep skillet at warming temperature 
on dial until serving time. 


1 
1 
1 
1 
2 
y 
1 


VEAL AND ON 


lys Ibs. Italian-style veal cutlets 

2 tablespoons salad oil 

Salt, pepper 

I teaspoon minced fresh thyme or 

X4 teaspoon dried thyme 

V4 teaspoon finely minced garlic 

2 large Spanish onions, cut j 

Y4 cup very dry sherry 

12-oz. can chicken broth 

1 teaspoon anchovy 

1 tablespoon butter 

Pound cutlets thin with meat mallet. 
Preheat electric skillet at 300°. Add sal 
ad oil. Sprinkle cutlets with salt and pep- 
id sauté until meat is light brown. 


ION SCALOP 


VE 


te 


may not hold all cutlets at one time, 
ink during cooking, addi- 
t may be added. Cook until 
€ in pan bottom has evaporated 
and drippings turn brown in pan. Add 
thyme, garlic and onion and sauté until 
onions are limp, not brown. Add sherry, 
chicken broth and anchovy paste. Stir 
well to loosen pan drippings. Reduce 
heat to 250° and cook 10 minutes long- 
er, Add buuer to gravy. Add salt and 
pepper to taste. 


meat j 


SKEWE 


ED CHICKEN LIVERS 


1 Ib. fresh or thawed frozen. chicken 
livers 
2 tablespoons sherry 
1 tablespoon soy sauce 
2 tablespoons salad oil 
2 cloves garlic, crushed 
medium-size onion, sliced 
Vj teaspoon ground fennel seed 
X4 teaspoon sesame oil 
2 3-07. cans whole mushrooms, drained 
2 5-07. cans water chestnuts, drained 
Bring a large saucepan of water to a 
rapid boil. Add livers. As soon as water 
resumes boiling, remove heat 
nd drain livers. Cut livers into two 
or three pieces each, so that no piece is 
larger than 1 in. across. Place livers in a 
bowl with sherry, soy sauce, salad oil, 
rlic, onion, fennel seed and sesame oil. 
icken-liver 


from 


among the cight skewers of the electric 
brochette. Arrange. pieces of food alter- 
nately. Preheat brochette 10 to 15 mi 
utes. Broil skewered livers 25 minutes. 
Serve with Bé 


tarnaise sauce. 


SAUCE 


BÉARNAISE 


1⁄4 cup dry white wine 

2 tablespoons tarragon vinegar 

2 tablespoons minced onion 

14 teaspoon crushed whole pepper 

3 egg yolks 

14 Ib. sweet butter 

2 large sprigs fresh tarragon, minced, 


or 14 teaspoon dried tarragon 
1 teaspoon minced fresh chervil or 
parsley 


Salt, cayenne pepper 

Pour wine and vinegar into small 
saucepan. Add onion and pepper. 
mer slowly until liquid is reduced to 
approximately two or three tablespoons. 
Watch pan carefully so that all liquid 
does not evaporate. Strain into electric 
blender. Add egg yolks and blend slight- 
ly. Melt butter in small stucepan over 
moderate flame. Avoid browning. Start 
blender after pouring cap, 
and very slowly add melted butter, no 
more than a tablespoon at a time. Re- 
move sauce from blender. Stir 
ragon and chervil. Add salt to ta 
a dash of cayenne pepper. Keep in a 
warm place (not over direct heat) until 
serving time. 


m- 


removing 


MUSTARD SHIS 


1 KABOB 


1⁄4 leg of lamb, cut into l-in. cubes 
arene poons Dijon mustard 

2 tablespoons white wine vi 
2 tablespoons olive oil 

y poon rose 


negar 


Salt, pepper 


1 large gi 
1 large sweet red pepper 
Butter, at room temperature 


Be sure pieces of lamb do not exceed 1 
in. in thickness. In a mixing bowl place 
the mustard, vinegar, oil, rosemary and 
arlic. Stir well. Add lamb and sprinkle 
generously with salt and pepper. Mix 
well so that lamb is thoroughly coated. 
Marinate in refrigerator at least $ hours 
before cooking. Remove from refriger- 

tor about one half hour before broiling. 
Cut peppers into 34.in. squares. Preheat 
electric brochette 10 to 15 minutes, 
ten meat and peppers alternately on. 
skewers. Broil 25 to 30 minutes. Brush 
with butter just before serving. 


as. 


WAFFLES AND APPLES, RUM SAUCE 


4 mediumsize apples 
1 cup maple syrup 
X cup light rum 

2 tablespoons heavy dark rum 
2 tablespoons sweet butter 

4 cup heavy sweet cream 
ablespoon sugar 

2 egg yolks 
1 whole egg 
Y teaspoon 
V4 cup milk 
3 tablespoons salad oil 
1 cup cake flo 


vanilla 


2 tablespoons sugar 

Peel and core apples and cut them 
into thin slices, about. 12 slices per apple. 
Place apples in saucepan with maple 
syrup, light and dark rum and butter. 
Simmer, covered, until apples are just 


tender. Avoid overcooking. Keep warm 
until 


serving time, Whip cream in a 
Stir in 1 tablespoon 
r. Chill in refrigerator. In well of 
electric blender put egg yolks, whole eg 
vanilla, milk and salad oil. Add cake 
flour, baking powder, salt and 2 table 
spoons sugar. Blend until smooth. Stop 
blender and scrape sides with rubber 
spatula if necessary to blend dry ingredi 
ents with liquid. Preheat waflle iron. 
Pour 3 to 4 tablespoons into cach section 
of iron, or until batter is about 1 i 
from edge. Bake until steam is no longer 
isible from sides of waffle iron. Spoon 
apples onto waffles on serving plates. 
Yop with whipped cream. 
The above is a mere skimming of the 
surface, The current attractions of plug- 
andials and potables are such that 
the appliance-hip chef need never join 
the Hot Stove League. 


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SIDE BY SIDE (continued from page 105) 


the West Coast. Remember, now, she 
was in her early 20s, and so far as 
anyone knows she'd never given ballet 
a thought up till then. But that's what 
she wanted to do, and it didn't make a 
damn she knew nothing about it, or that 
most ballerinas begin study about the 
same time they learn to walk; she had 
decided to dance, and that was it. We all 
knew that when she came back she'd be 
able to do it, and she could. I only saw. 
her the one time, of course. At the party 
Saul gave to celebrate her return. The 
night she died. 

The whole scene returned to mind, 
like the curt lifting on a play. Not 
that I'd forgotten, or ever could, but 
the curtain Aad been there, and tightly 
drawn. Now, I saw the tarpaper roof, 
the yellowish light bulb strung on a 
cord from Saul and Miriam’s loft apart- 
ment below. I heard the music from the 
battered phonograph we'd borrowed 
from someone and smelled the warm 
wind, wet from the summer shower that 


had fallen that afternoon, I saw the 
people . .. 
Everyone came in good clothes, 


though for many of the men that meant 
only the cleanest pair of Levis and a 
white shirt. Some of the girls wore faded 
cocktail dresses, usually a size too small 
for them (holdovers from high school or 
college, parent-bought). It was 2 double- 
barreled occasion: Miriam had come 
back and, even more exciting, Saul had 
just sold his novel to E. V. Reinwald 
Company with a $500 advance. (He'd 
worked feverishly on all the time 
Miriam was away.) It was the first im- 
portant sale he'd made, and he didn't 
have much of the advance left after pay- 
ing overdue bills and sending Miriam 
bus fare. But what there was, he went 
out and spent on food and liquor for the 
celebration, 

Tt was a fine party. Everyone we knew 
was invited, plus a dozen couples who'd 
heard the noise and come up off the 
street (that's the way parties were in 
Greenwich Village back then . . . there 
doesn't seem to be much of it anymore). 
About halfway through the evening, we 
came across a record of excerpts from 
Swan Lake, and Miriam agreed to dance 
for us. I remember standing there, lis- 
tening to the tinny, scratchy sounds 
from that old record player, softened by 
the dim rustle of the city noises in the 
background. Watching her spin and 
glide, her face and arms visible only 
when she came under the tiny circle of 
light from the bulb, then disappearing 
as she left it; a disembodied swirl of 
white dress, white shoes. The music end- 
ed, and she did a le series of pir- 
ouettes that made us all catch our 
breaths. She did one more, and touched 
the cement coping, which was only 


gig about 18 inches high on one side, 


and went over it, 75 feet to the brick 
pavement. 

For what seemed a long while, no onc 
moved, and I think no one believed it 
had happened. It was as though Miriam 
had merely exited, with the same flair 
for drama she'd always had. As though 
she might reappear in an instant or two, 
to take her bows. Then, of course, we all 
ran to the edge and looked. She was 
lying down there—quite visible, even in 
the dark, because of her white dress. She 
‘was not at all sprawled or awkward, the 
way people like that are supposed to 
look. Some of the girls began to cry, 
some to scream, and one of the men 
yelled, "Get an ambulance, for God's 
sake!” but none of us moved. We all 
knew she was dead. 

1 thought of Saul, and turned to see 
him standing at the edge, too, just stand- 

g there, with a funny twisted expres- 
sion on his face. I went over and pulled 
him back, holding his arms tightly; I 
think I was afraid he was going to jump 
after her. Gary March (a bit-part actor, 
and Saul’s best friend other than myself) 
came over, and between the two of us we 
got him downstairs. By the time we 
reached the room, he was vibrating like 

igh wire and cursing steadily: “Damn 
" he kept saying, “goddamn her!" I 
made him sit down, and Gary ran back 
to get a bottle. When he returned, we 
Iorced several stiff ones down Saul. He 
kept fighting us (though in an odd way, 
hc didn't seem conscious we were there), 
and after a while he started crying and 
finally passed out. 

A little later, Renatta, Gary's girl, 
came in. She told us that the ambulance 
had taken Miriam away, and that some- 
one had gone along to take care of the 
details. “Do you think one of us ought 
to stay here?" I asked Gary. 

“I don't kno: he said. "Kind of 
gives me the creeps, the way he's acting. 
Stay if you want to." I didn't, but I 
thought somebody should. So I sat up 
most of the night in a chair (Saul had 
gone to sleep on the couch) and read 
some, and drank the rest of the bottle of. 
whiskey. It was the longest night I'd ever 
spent. Saul kept muttering in his sleep— 
a sort of half-laughing, half-crying sound 
—and I was horribly afraid he was going 
to wake up. He didn't, though, until 
about ten o'clock the next morning. 

At first, he seemed to have forgotten 
what had happened, and then, abruptly, 
he said, “I'd better try to work, you 
know? That way, maybe I won't have to 
think about it.” He went over to the 
table where his beat-up old Remington 
stood, and rolled a piece of paper into 
it. He sat down, looked at the typewriter 
2 minute, and began to grin. He began 
to chuckle, then to laugh. "It's funny 
when you think about it" he said. "I 
mean—the way it happened—it's comi- 


cal.” He grabbed the table and bent to 
one side, laughing harder, uncontrolla- 
bly, jumping around in his chair and 
making the table rattle, and the window 
next to it. Suddenly, he coughed and be- 
gan to retch. He got up and staggered 


into the bathroom, and I could hear him 
throwing up. 
I stared to go after him, then 


changed my mind. I made some coffee 
stead, and some toast, and when he 
came out he was trembling terribly, but 
he managed to eat a little nonetheless. 
He seemed to have got hold of himself 
and apologized for acting like a fool. He 
asked if he could be alone, and since I 
was almost dead anyway, I left him and 
went home. F fell into bed and slept the 
rest of the day and late into the night. 

It surprised everyone, but for the next 
day or two it scemed as though Saul 
was going to be all right. He began 
coming down to Macdougal Street, to 
the coffechouses where the gang had al- 
ways met. He looked miserable, of 
course, didn't talk much, but he'd smile 
when we tried to cheer him up, and 
for a while he appeared to be taking 
it well—better than we'd hoped. And 
then something happened that none of 
us could have foreseen; something that 
should never have happened. Miriam 
came back. 

No, the problem wasn’t supernatural 
it was financial. It costs money to die, 
you know, and we didn't have any. None 
of us had made a go of it at that time 
(most of us never would), and the cost of 
taking care of Miriam was too much. 
Fortunately, she had always said she 
wanted to be cremated, which proved 
the cheapest way of handling the body. 
We had it done at Scarfiotta's eral 
Parlor, but raising the necessary $50 
about bankrupted all of us. There was 
nothing left to pay for a burial plot, or 
even a vault. (Of course, the city will 
take care of that if you want it to, 
but Saul flatly refused to put her 
pauper's grave.) So, when the m 
started raising hell, we went over and 
picked up the box with her ashes i 
and Saul took it home with him. He put 
it on the mantel, over the fake fireplace 
with the electric heater inside. 1 didn't 
like the idea, but there didn’t seem any 
alternative until one of us came up with 
some money. 

‘Things were rough for everyone that 
summer. I was making a few bucks every 
now and again, adapting some public- 
domain stories for a small recording 
company that produced spoken records. 
The last batch had been paid for about 
a week earlier, though. I'd spent the 
money, and wouldn't get any more for a 
month or two. Saul had used up his ad. 
vance, and had no other source of in- 
come. I urged him to take a job for a 
while, if only so he could draw some un- 
employment, but he didn't want to, or 


couldn't find one. The utility companies 
ally turned off his gas and lights, and 
he had to borrow candles to use at night. 
He put them on the m: on either 
side of that small black box. The effect 
was ghastly. 

After that, the cha 
became apparent. Fe wa 
he refused the offers of friends to feed 
him. There had been a lot of liquor left 
from the party, but he'd drunk it all and 
vas finding more, some way. He grew 
thinner, and since he'd been thin to 
start with, he became increasingly skele- 
tal. He claimed to be working (every- 
thing would be all right, if he could get 
the book in, and get the rest of his ad- 
vance from the publisher), but I noticed 


ny, in the evenings at least, as much a 
possible, but the setting of his room w: 
so weird it was oppressive and his 
friends started staying away. He had al- 
ways referred io the box as “Miriam,” 
rather than “it,” or even "her" but 
when he took to addressing some of his 
remarks—on the evenings when we were 
at his place—to the box on the mantel 
(Isn't that right, Darling?" or, "It's get- 
ting late, and Miriam's tired, aren't you, 
Dear?"), I knew something had to be 
done. All of the shock he'd felt—and sur- 
vived—when she was killed had returned. 
to prey on him, and he was brea 
under it. 

I stayed ome night, after the others 
had gone, and begged him to let me—or 
somcone—rake care of the box until we 
could afford a burial He acted 
though I were joking: "You know I 
work unless Miriam’s here,” he said. 
“You know I can't do anything without 
her, she’s always helped with my stories, 
and now the book- 

The next day I called his publishe 
talked to the editor who'd accepted Let- 
ters from Miriam, and asked for more 
money. He was sympathetic, but said 
there was no way he could help; the 
book was overdue, and the publisher 
felt, anyway, it was only a prestige item. 
(He had no way of knowing the popular 
appeal it would turn out to have.) He 
turned me down, so the next thing to do 
was to go see Saul’s parents. They lived 

1 Jersey, so I hitchhiked over that after- 
noon and arrived in time for di 
The old man, Saul's father, must have 
figured I planned it 
watched every bite I ate, like I was pick- 
g his pocket, and finally I lost my 
appetite even though | hadn't eaten any- 
thing else that day. The mother seemed 
a little beter, but she knew to keep 
quiet and at last 1 felt 1 had to get to the 
nd get it over with. 

They knew what had happened, and I 
told them that, in my opinion, that 
damned black box was killing Saul. “I've 
found a place,” I said, atll take her 


ug 


I 


for seventy-five dollars. Ul personally 
guarantee to pay you back if you'll lend 
Saul the money.” 

"The old gentleman just laughed at me. 
“Seventy-five dollars that vandal will 
never sec from me,” he said. "Never." 

I said, “It isn't for Saul, it’s for his 
wile. 

"No!" he cried, "not his wife—he's 
not married.” That was so, though oddly 
enough Ed forgotten about it. I guess, to 
him. they'd been living in sin, though no 
one who knew them looked at it that 
way. Saul and. Miriam were as married as 
nyone can be, though they'd never had 
(or wanted to spare) the money for a li- 
cense and the rest. I tried to explain 
this, but Mr. Kessler was adamant: “She 
wasn't even Jewish!" were his last words 
on the subject, and he was getting so an. 
ery I thought Vd better leave. 

Mrs. Kessler saw me to the door. She 
slipped me a five as I went out. I tried to 


t The door was closed, 
already dark and I still had to 
catch a ride back across the river 
finally got one, and on the way home I 
examined the whole affair very carefully 
in my mind. By the time my benefactor 
dropped me off in the Village, I'd decid- 
ed 1 had to get the box away from Saul. 


And the only way to do that was to steal 
it from him... 


My story was interrupted by the slow- 
i it approached our 
ad 


ing of the train 
stop. My friend and I got our coats 
hats from the rack above the seat and. 
few minutes later, stepped off onto the 
I station platform. Behind us, the 
tain lurched, heaved itself ahead, and 
clattered away. I measured the sun as it 
setiled behind the pine trees, and hoped 
Fd timed our visit right: We should ar- 
rive a few minutes after five. Past expe- 
ience had taught me that an hour with 
aul was about all I could take. We be- 
to walk up the winding, crushed- 
ath, toward the complex of white 
buildings. We strolled slowly, my com- 
ting in silence for mc to 


ps I was wrong to have done it, I 
now. I've thought about it often 
wondering if 1 n any way respon: 
ble for what happened. But it seemed 
right at the time, and I believe, at worst, 
I only hastened the end a little. I went 
over to his place and let myself in (he 
never locked his door) and found him 
asleep in his room. I took the box from 
the mantel, carried it home and hid it. 


wa 


“No wonder he wanted to die with his boots on!” 


217 


PLAYBOY 


218 


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‘Then I went down to The Bagel shop, 
found Gary, and told him what I'd done. 
We were still sitting there, sipping 
coffee, when Gary glanced toward the 
door. His face went as white as any 
man's I've ever seen, and when I looked 
around, there was Saul. 

He must have waked up for some rea- 
son, soon after I'd left, gone into the 
front room and seen that she—I mean, it 
—was gone. Now, he stood in the door- 
way, sort of hanging onto the frame on 
both sides, his gaunt head with its mane 
of long, uncut hair swaying back and 
forth, He reminded me of the Western- 
movie character—drunk, or half dead— 
who comes to warn the town that the In- 
dians are rising. He spotted us, let go of 
the doorjamb, and lurched toward our 
table. We might have been all right, if 

y hadn't panicked and leaped out of 
r to back away. Hell, I would 
have done the same, only I was sitting 
between the table and wall and couldn't 
move in time. 
Where is she!” Saul croaked, his nor- 
mally high, smooth voice deep with men- 
ace. He stumbled as he reached the 
table, came up against its edge and seized 
it with bony, white hands. His cyes were 
absolutely stark, and they would have 
held me even if the table hadn't been 
jammed against my chest. “Where is she, 
goddamn it—I've got to find her—you 
know where she is!” It was as though 
Miriam—the live Miriam—had left him, 
and he was going to kill the man who 
took her. Which was me. 

1 should have lied, of course, but my 
mind wasn't functioning: There is some- 
thing about insanity (and I knew, then, 
that's what it was) that paralyzes the 
senses. I blurted out something about 
not meaning any harm; about her being 
bad for him, and: 

1 didn’t get any further; he came 
straight across the table, and I felt his 
hands reach my throat. I tried to scream, 
"Tl bring her back!” but 1 couldn't get 
the sounds past the pressure of his 
fingers. 

I guess I fainted then, because the 
next thing I knew I was sitting on the 
floor. a 


. figure, torn and 
disheveled, Saul's figure, rise up out of 
the pile and come for me. There w 
scream—his or mine—and I found I 
couldn't move to get away. He had al- 
most reached me when two cops burst 
through the door and caught him from 
behind. If they hadn't, he'd have killed 
me, I'm sure. 


My friend and I had reached the steps 
ain building, and we paused 
there. Joel gave me a cigarette and took 
one for himself. We leaned against the 


railing to s and the sun hid 
itself beh: ill. A cool breeze be- 
gan to come up off the Hudson. 

hat was the end of him," I went on 
after à moment. “They took him over to 
St. Vincent's for the night, and the next 
day he was transferred to Bellevue, to the 
psychiatric ward. During the next few 
weeks, I managed to put the rest of his 
book together for him, and when it was 
published, and became a best seller, the 
royalties allowed him to be moved here, 
where he's been since.” 

We finished our cigarettes, stubbed 
them out, and entered the wide, cool, 
tisepticsmelling foyer. I said, “He 
might have survived her death, but that 
little box of ashes was too much. It final- 
ly overpowered him. Thats why I say 
she destroyed him after she died.’ 

Joel shook his head sadness. “She 
must have been an amazing person,” he 
said. “I can understand why he loved 
her so much." 

"Loved her? He didn't love her—he 
hated her." 

My young friend stared at me in 
disbelief. 

“He hated her because he depended 
on her so much—and knew that he did. 
She had helped him with his stories, giv- 
en him ideas, even rewritten them for 
him. He knew he couldn't make it with- 
out her, and he hated her for dying and 
leaving hi Most ol all, he hated her 
for being able to do everything —while 
he could do nothing." 

Joel said: "I don't unde 
writing the book he did 

"Surely you see he didn't write it. 
Letters from Miriam was just th the 
letters Miriam had written while she was 
out West. It was all there: the mag 
nificent descriptions of the countryside, 
the sensitive portraits of the people she 
met, the yearning for home and the 
loneliness: all of it. Saul simply edited 
them and put them together for publi- 
cation. When they sold, he hated her 
cven more. 

J gave my name to the nurse on duty, 
and we started down the corridor to 
Saul’s room. “There's onc thing I should 
warn you about,” I said. “Saul is quite 
and I think you'll enjoy talking 
to him. But the doctors discovered fairly 
soon that the only way to handle him 
was to indulge his fantasy: you mustn't 
be surprised at what he keeps on the 
shell above his bed. It’s not the original 
< it's a dupl 
him. He's happy. he thinks 
she hasn't left him. That they're still 
"together." " 

We stopped in front of Saul's door, 
and I knocked. A smooth, rather high- 
pitched voice answered, “Come in,” and 
then, more fainth though he had 
turned to address someone else: "Dar- 
ling—we have visitors . 


and! After 


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219 


PLAYBOY 


220 


BOHEMIA 


ke a pigeon on a trail of popcorn. Dur- 
ing rebuttal by an opponent, he gives 
vent to catcalls and earsplitting guffaws. 

“The expressions of his face are usu: 
ly unrelated to his subject matter. WI 
hamstringing a critic (and he can) he 
adopts a pensive look— 

“°H.L. Mencken suffers from the hal- 
lucination that he is H. L. Mencken. 
There is no cure for a disease of that 
magnitude." 

"During such utterances, he flutters 


his yellow-fringed eyelids, cocks his head 
to a side and pretends he is falling 
asleep. His grimaces remind me of 


child making faces out of ennui. 

“Yet despite the chronic ferocity of his 
opinions, Bodenheim is a sen 
man. Anyone's sufferings but his own 
bring a tear to his eye or pencil. He 
gives away most of his wealth—nickels 
and dimes acquired in alley crap games 
—to beggars, old drunks and cigar-butt 
hunters. 

“Behind his almost idiotic guffaws and 
facial contortions, a first-rate mind is in 
constant operation. H. L. Mencken, who 
despises him, cannot assail his ‘dun- 
derheads’ as wittily as can Bodenheim. 
Despite the hallucinations of grandeur 
and nightmares of persecution that 
bother Bodenheim, the poet retains an 
astonishing diagnostic clarity toward 
others. 

“Bodenheim's poetry and prose 
worship, chielly, of words. 

‘J have known Bodenheim to be mis- 
taken by casual observers for a pickpock- 
ct, a vaudeville acrobat, an crrand boy, 
a theological student and a French 
aristocrat.” 

What I wrote of Bodenheim in 1924 
was truc, but it overlooked almost en- 
tirely the poet's charms. There was inno- 
cence and courage in him, and wild 
loyalty. And his misfortunes seldom pro- 
duced a note of self-pity. 


We collaborated during one winter on 
several one-act plays. One of them was 
led The Master Poisoner. We were 
both excited in its writing. We thought 
it contained our finest acrobatic phrases. 
When I read the play recently, I was as- 
tonished by its plot and dialog. They 
were both incomprehensible. Yet the 
printed phrases seemed to spin and leap 
with some mysterious excitement. Youth 
in love with words. The embrace may 
ve been a little disorderly, but I have 
found few things better to love—since 
then. 

We worked nights. Bogie would arrive 
at my apartment at eight o'clock, having 
filched his supper elsewhere. I didn't in- 
vite him to dine in my house because I 
ed to watch him eat. My wife also 


(continued from page 130) 


found the spectacle unpleasant. He 
drank like a man gargling, and wolfed 
his food as he feared it might be 
snatched away. 

But his table noises were a minor mat- 
ter. It was what he ate that was upset- 
ting. As soon as his food was placed 
before him, Bogie set up a clamor for 
Worcestershire sauce. He emptied a full 
bottle on his steak or chicken. He then 
fished his bottle of Tabasco sauce out of 
his briefcase and sprinkled the fiery fluid 
over his food. For a finale, he unscrewed. 
the tops of all the salt and pepper shak- 
ers on the table and coated his sauce- 
drenched food with their contents. A 
jackal would have shied from his dish. 

As important to collaboration as not 
watching Bogie eat, was not hearing 
his denunciations of his enemies, who 
seemed to have overrun the world. We 
made a pact th ing to- 
gether, neither of us would utter a word. 
of criticism or complaint on any subject. 

Bogie was a half hour late one eve- 
ning. A blizzard had delayed him. He en- 
tered the room with the remains of a 
pipe clutched in his teeth. It had been a 
pipe brought back from the South Seas 
by the painter Jerry Bloom. It was a 
pipe four feet long and its carved bowl 
rested on your foot as you stood smoking 
it. Jerry had given Bodenheim the pipe 
(ihe only one like it in the Western 
Hemisphere) in exchange for a sonnct 
by the poet describing one of his 
seascapes. 

“The streetcar step was cove 
froz I alighted from 
Bogie explained, “I was smoking the 
pipe at the time, and tripped over it and 
it broke into little pieces." The yellow 
eyelashes fluttered. “Shall we start with 
our collaborating for tonight?” 

We worked till midnight. I noted an 
oddity in Bogie's posture. He kept 
head in a crooked position as he offered 
his share of our weird dialog. He made 
no complaint, however, of any injury: 
and I thought it wiser not to inquire 
anything was the matter with him. 

At midnight Bogie bowed himself out 
of my doorway. 

“I think we have done some exquisite- 
ly confusing work tonight," he said. "We 
will resume our capricious wrestling 
match with Mr. Maldor tomorrow, same 
ume.” Mr. Maldor was our Master 
Poisoner 

We didn't resume the next night. Aft- 
er leaving my apartment, Bodenheim 
collapsed in a snowdrift. An ambulance 
took him to the County Hospital. 1 


during our wri 


ed with. 


n snow whe: 


learned the next day that Bogie had 
broken his shoulder when he had 
tripped over his Polynesian pipe. He 


had spent the three hours writing with 


me while in acute pain. But he had 
honored our collaborator pact—no 
complaints. 

During the winter of our playwriting, 
Bodenheim was in love with a dancing 
girl named Iona. She had been a mi 
ber of the Chicago nd Opera ballet 
troupe, but was dismissed that season 
from its ranks. 

“Due to the insensate jealousy of Sig- 
norina Pitalli, the prem: 
Bodenheim explained. “Beside Iona, 
Miss Pitalli became aware that she was 
glued to the stage. 

“That is partly true," Ilona said. We 

were together in an all-night beanery. 
The ousted ballerina was mostly skin 
nd bones. But I remember her large, 
glittering cyes favorably. They hinted at 
some mania. She informed Bogie that 
she was going to be given an audition by 
udeville booking agent named Sam 
. She had been working on a won- 
ful dance that she called Lavender 
and Old Lace. 
‘ve got the costume for it,” she 
said, “except for the shoes. I need a pair 
of lavender ballet slippers. And I guar- 
antec you, Maxy dearest, I'll bowl Sam 
Singer over with my routine.” 

A great quarrel developed between 
the lovers. Bogic forbade his Hona to go 
near Sam Singer. I left the table while 
the poet and Iona were exchanging 
violent insults. 

I didn't sce Bogie again for several 
weeks. 1 remember that he sat with me 
in a saloon one night, tears running 
om his eyes: 

"We kept on quarreling for two days 
bout Sam Singer,” said Bogie, “Then 
we separated. 1 told her she could go 
dance for Mr. Sam Singer in her tights, 
but in doing so, she was dancing out of 
my life, forever. Last night T cd 
that I was crude and unjust to Ilona, I 
decided to go 10 her and apologize for 
my ugliness, and beg her to forgive me. 
When I arrived at her rooming house, 
the landlady told me that Miss Ilona 
Metz had died five days ago of pneu- 
jonia and that she was her 
grave in the Woodlawn Cemetery. Can 
you loan me ten dollars, please, so that 1 
can buy Iona the lavender dancing 
shoes she wished for. I want to put them 
at the foot of her grav 

The next night, Bogie told me the 
end of the story. It has stayed in my 
mind ever since as a sort of ballet in 
which a poet dances the strange, secret 
meanings of his life. 

After leaving me with the ten dollars 
in his pocket, he had dropped into 
other saloon for a drink. A prostitute 
joined him there. He bought her a drink 
and then read her a newly written poem 
to the prostitute. It was about Ilona's 


ow 


an 


and was titled Elegy to a Pirouette. 
reading his complete cycle of Iona 
poems to the prostitute, he went with 
her to her room. 

“When I woke this morning,” Bogie 
said. “she was still asleep. 1 dressed 
quickly. Then I looked in my briefcase 
which should have contained the eight 
dollars remaining from the original t 
1 intended to give the prostitute two 
dollars and then go buy the lavender 
dancing slippers for lona. But th 
wasn't a single simoleon in the briefcase. 
T knew at once that I had been robbed 
after I fell asleep. I knew also it would 
be a pure waste of time to accuse her of 
the theft, or to try to get back my stolen 
he would start yelling and po- 


licemen would ultimately appear and 
take us both off to 
Phen I felt an electric shock as I 
noticed something on the floor—the 
sleeping prostitute’s shoes. They were 
purple shoes with purple buttons on 
them. They were not shoes for dancing, 
but they had a gay look of their own. 
Bodenheim stole the sleeping prosti- 
tute’s shoes and a few hours later placed 
them at the foot of Ilona's grave. 
"Exposure to wind and snow,” he cx- 
plained, “will fade their purple color to 
the right shade of lavender that Hona 
wished for to match her costume. I wrote 
this poem to Ilona while riding in the 
streetcar.” 
Bogie recited a poem of which 1 re- 


member a few lines: 


Dancer on the floor of heaven, 
These once industrious shoes 
Now dream of you. 


News came to us that the young poet 
Maxwell Bodenheim had refused to reg- 
ister for military service in the First 
World War. He had announced himself 
as a conscientious objector. A number of 
radicals on the Near North Side had un- 
dertaken to protect him from military 
oppression. They had hidden him away 
in a lush apartment, and were providing 
him with excellent food and drink; and 
allowing a trusty trollop to spend a 
night, now and then, with him. 


221 


PLAYBOY 


222 


A few of us who knew the Federal 
Building as newspaper reporters, called 
on the proper authorities to persuade 
them to stop hounding our sensitive 
poet and causing him to remain in hid- 
ing, atremble for his life. 

"You're a bunch of fool the head 
recruiting officer told us. "Your poet 
friend Bodenheim registered for service 
on the first day our office opened. Here's 
his card. Nobody's hunting for him. 
Your friend is ineligible for further 
Army service. He was dishonorably dis- 
charged after previous Army service in 
Texas. The United States Army has no 
interest in him whatsoever except to 
keep the daffy son of a bitch out of its 


news finally leaked out to the 
radicals who were wining and dining 


their heroic conscientious objector in the 
flossy apartment. Loud with wrath, they 
descended on the poet. They excoriated 
him as a crook and a charlatan, and 
drove him out of his sybaritic hideaway. 

Listening pensively to the rage of his 
deceived benefactors, Bodenheim flut- 
tered his eyelids and announced, “The 
anger of fools is my favorite crown.” 


Bodenheim came to dinner in my 
house, having promised to forgo sauce 
bottles and salt and pepper shake 
was a party of welcome to a new wri 
for The Chicago Literary Times. ts 
staff to date had remained only Boden- 
heim and I. I thought it time to add an- 
other worker. 

His name was John Armstrong. He 
had sent me the manuscript of a novel 


“This is his cleaning woman.” 


written while in detention at the Great 
l Trai Station at Lake 
ating manuscript, 
ing the miseries and frustrations of 
life in the Navy. Sailor Armstrong was 
under detention in the lunacy ward of 
the U.S. Navy Hospital. 

After some discussion, the Navy doc- 
tors admitted that Armstrong was not 
seriously insane, but only too oddly be- 
haved to serve in the U. S. Navy. His 
chief oddity was that he was inclined to 
go off into fits of laughter that lasted for 
hours. He could be quieted only by pow- 
erful drugs. 

The officer in charge of the Naval 
base agreed to release him into my cus- 
tody with three provisos. I was to give 
him employment on my weekly paper: 
to provide sleeping quarters for him in 
my house; and to do all I could to keep 
his novel from being published. 

At the dinner table welcoming the 
new literary find. were Margaret Ander- 
son, Sherwood Anderson, Burton Rascoe 
(the critic), and several opera singers 
whose names I have forgotten. And 
Bodenhein 

A discussion of music circled the table 
despite Bodenheim’s insistence that the 
art of music had no relation to the art of 
conversation. His further efforts to s 
the talk around to a discussion of him- 
self, or at least, of poctry in gencral, 
were ignored. But literary find John 
Armstrong suddenly sided with the poet. 

"Mr. Bodenheim is right" said 
Armstrong, "onc docsn't talk about mu- 
sic. One listens to it.” 

Armstrong left the table and headed 
for the phonograph in the living room. 
The music he selected for listening was 
Chaliapin's record The Song of the Flea 
from Boito's opera Mefistofele. 

In the middle of the record Chaliapin 
unlooses a burst of satanic laughter, for a 
half minute that seems like an hour. 
Sailor Armstrong kept putting the nee- 
dle back and playing the passages over 
and over. Finally, rolling his pants up to 
his knees (why, 1 don’t know), Arm- 
song joined Chaliapin in his laughter. 
Putting the needle back to replay the 
passage, Armstrong finally outlaughed 
the great baritone in range and volume. 

We all listened and watched from the 
ng table. 
fascinating sort of dementia,” 
someone s: 

"It is rarely you see an American writ- 
cr,” said Margaret Anderson, "who is 
not hopelessly sane." 

There were other comment about the 
laughing genius with the rolled-up pants 
whom 1 had been clever enough to add 
to my paper's staff. Please, we were very 
young that night. 

It was all too much for Bodenheim. At 
last our lonesome poet made a canny bid 
for our attention. Having emptied his 


di 


tenth wineglass, he proceeded to cat it. 
He bit off chunks of his fragile goblet. 
chewed and swallowed the bits of glass 
as if they were the finest of desserts. 

The diners turned one by onc to 
watch the poets amateur and gory per- 
formance lass cater. 
ood God!" someone said, “you'll 
yourself B that glass. 
You're a poet, not a circus freak.” 
very poet is both," Bodenheim an- 
swered aloofly. 

He continued to talk of poetry, and to 
recite some of his own latest work, hold- 
g the diners fascinated by the stream 
of blood and words from his mouth. 

A half hour later Bodenheim’s 
triumph was completed. A doctor ar- 
rived to inject a powerful drug into 
John Armstrong, who had never stopped 
laughing 
literary find went back that night 
to the detention ward at the Naval base. 
Bodenheim, after some minor medical 
attention, remained as my sole colleague 
on the Literary Times. 


swallow 


Publisher Horace 
Chicago to scout for new writers. Live- 
right had a lean, medieval face. His 
large, dark eyes looked on authors with 
an enthusiasm rare in publishers. He 
thought writers were elves and genii. He 
never wearied of listening to their boasts 
or loaning them money. His only misbe- 
havior toward. his authors was his atti- 
tude toward their mistresses. He did his 
best to lure them to bed, and sometimes 
succeeded. 

In his suite in the newly built Drake 
Hotel, Liveright listened to Bodenheim’ 
true story of a prostitute he had known 
and whom he deemed the finest of hu- 
man beings. Bogie was wying to land a 
job for his paragon of a streetwalker. 
elieve me, she is a perfect typist, 
and,” the poet said, “if you dressed her 
up correctly she would contribute an ex- 

isi ny office." 

e her story as a book 


eright came to 


lor me; Liveright. "I have never 
heard anything more moving. Lll give 
you a thousandddollar advance right 
now." 


Liveright wrote out a thousand-dollar 
check to Maxwell Bodenheim, id the 
poet watched the pen move as if he were 
looking at an incredible feat of magic. 
When the check was signed, Bogie stood 
up and asked in a hushed voice, "€ 
-you tell me, please, where the bathroom 


Bogie was shown the right door. We 
waited a half hour for the new cright 
author to emerge. Horace became 


nervous. 
never saw such happiness in any 
author's eyes," he said. "I couldn't help 
looking at him when I was signing the 
check. He sat there like a man be- 


witched. Hadn't you better go sce if any- 
things wrong? He may have had some 
sort of collapse 

I entered the bathroom. Bogie wi 
standing over the toilet, all set to ur 
nate, but unfunctioning. Perplexity was 
n his face, and some pain. 

Over the toilet seat was a woven-cane 
cover, the latest thing in stylish toilet 
decor. Pointing at the half-inch holes in 
the ornamental cane cover, poet Boden- 
heim said: 

“I can't possibly pee through that 
small aperture, Maybe rich people can, 
after considerable practice. But I don't 
want to start practicing im Mr. Live- 
right's bathroom. If I wet that elegant 
ne seat, he's likely to think of me as a 
vandal, and tear up that little old check 
he has writen out in my name." 

I showed Bogie how to outwit the 
cane seat by lifting it out of the way, 
and came back to Horace with the story 
of the confused urinator. 

"What an honest, unspoiled human 
being," publisher Liveright said. "We 
have no natural geniuses of that kind 
New York. 

Bodenheim, putting the check rev- 
erently into his briefcase, said, “I give 
you my word of honor that I shall sur- 
pass Victor Hugo as a novelist.” 

Bodenheim wrote a few novels for 
Liveright, Georgie May, Replenishing 
Jessica, Naked on Roller Skates. They 
were hack work with flashes of tender- 
ness, wit and uth in them, and some 
verbal fireworks in every chapter. 


He spoke of his novels without 
enthusiasm. 
“Millions of people are reading my 


prose effusions,” he said—millions and 
thousands were the same general num- 
ber to Bogie—"but I'm not actually 
py- I am returning shorty to writi 
poetry. 

He did. His royalty checks dwindled. 
His briel fame as an odd, erotic novelist 
cvaporated. And the Greenwich. Village 
Bodenheim emerged. A homeless wino 
started reading his poems in saloons and 
picking up the pennis and nickels 
thrown to him. Occasionally an editor 
bought one of his poems and rewarded 
him with a $25 check. 

He continued trying to strike it rich 
by entering all the poetry contests. 
Prizes ranging from a hundred to a thou- 
sand dollars were to be snatched by the 
winners. 

Bodenheim had entered, since his 
youth, 223 such contests, and been de- 
feated by other poets in all of them. He 
used to sign his letters to editors “Max- 
well Bodenheim, 224th-ranking U.S. A. 
poet” 

The Greenwich Village Bodenheim 
had no allure for me. I preferred to re- 
member the Chicago version. One rainy 
day J ran into Bogie on Broadway. His 


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face was gaunt, most of his teeth were 
gonc. But there were some things un- 
changed about him. He was wearing the 
same Army overcoat, carrying the same 
worn and bulging briefcase; and his eye- 
lids still fluttered disdainfully when he 
spoke. 

In a saloon, Bogie showed me the 
poems he had written in the last ten 
years. They covered several hundred 
pages of typing. They were no longer 
poems full of fragile and unexpected 
metaphors, poems that used to seem 
written not by a human being but by 
some brilliant Jack of Diamonds. 

The new Bodenheim output in his ten 
New York years was full of coherently 
phrased love for shopgirls, laborers, and 
all underdogs and castaways. There was 
no hint in them of the poct’s own 
travail, of his despairs, hungering days, 
attempted sı Written du 
hangovers, during illnesses that kept him 
out of saloons that still tolerated 
presence, they were the poems of an ob- 
server, never a victim. They were also in 
sonnet form, and rhymed. But their 
unexpected imagery was unch; 

Unchanged also was his tall 
cackle, grimace or snap of phrase miss- 
ing. We rode to my home in Nyack. The 
rain turned into a thick snowfall. 

J wanted him to stay overnight, but he 
couldn't. His wife, Grace, was ill and 
needed his love and attention. In the 
snow-clouded doorway, Bogic said, his 
voice full of mockery: 

“J don't suppose you can imagine any- 
‘one loving me or needing my love. T am 
a scarecrow without teeth, Well, let me 
tell you something: My little Gracie loves 
me and necds me. As much as any man 
is loved or needed in the world. And she 
knows I will always come home to her, 
to take care of her.” 

A  halfdrunken Bodenheim left 
Nyack, without staying for dinner. His 
overcoat pockets bulged with loot stolen 
from my dressing room—socks, shorts, 
ties, shirts, a pair of patent-leather shocs, 
and pajama tops. He had been too 
proud to ask for them. 

During our talk before he went, we 
had made a literary arrangement. Bogie 
was to send me every week a new poem 
or two pages of prose on any subject. In 
return J would send him a check for $35. 


The arrangement lasted for a year, 


possibly two. I never saw Bogie again, 
but his two pages of prose and an 
Occasional poem arrived every week. 
Separate from them came a letter ac- 
knowledging the receipt of his week- 
ly check, or protesting politely its 
nonappearance. 

‘These letters, some of which I didn't. 
lose, contain one of the most desperate 
self-portraits I have ever read; the por- 
wait of an unwanted talent; penniless, 


224 almost rotted away with liquor and 


calamities—but still as proud and 
articulate as any prime minister. 
ce the time Mencken identified 
Maxwell Bodenheim as “a faker and a 
stupid clown; almost nothing has 
been written of the poet or his work. 
In the U. ul poet is 
more disdained than even a bankrupted 
industrialist. 

In these letters a first voice sounds for 
Bodenheim—his own. 


m unsuccess 


Care of Harvey Barnes 

RED. No. 1 

Woodstock, New York 

Dear Marie [Marie Armstrong Hecht— 
for a while]: 

You did not answer my last leuer so 
perhaps The Mountebank has reached 
you with some of his subtle poison. 1 am 
rather ill, with a touch of t.b.—the re- 
sult of long years in stuffy, quaintly 
odored, cheap rooming houses—and I 
am penniless with no strength to go out. 
and fight for nickels. If you could send 
me $50 1 might get through the next 


month, impose on the 
people I am with any longer. At any 
rate, you not respond with a note 


announcing the invisible enclosure of 
$200—an ironic relief. I do not expect 
to hear from you, of course—my attitude 
toward all humans is invincibly cynical 
just now. However .. . 
With all earnestness, 
Maxwell Bodenheim 


10 Montague Terrace 
Brooklyn, New York 


January 1th 
Dear Ben and Rose: 

Thanks very much for the January 
8th check which came this week. Yes- 
terday, 1 attended a party given by the 
Doubleday and Knopf firms in honor 
of the publication of an anthology 
entitled Poems of the Negro, edited 
by Langston Hughes, and One Way 
Ticket, Langston’s latest book of verse. 
I was invited because two of my poems 
to Negroes are included in the antholo- 
gy. The affair was held in the Downtown 
Art Gallery which occupies two spacious 
floors, and the large assemblage wis 
rather evenly divided between white 
and Negro highbrows, male and female. 
I was entranced by the talk confined en- 
tirely to lite 
and airy witticisms. It was weird to turn 
from this atmosphere and remember the 
existence of a grim, portentous, menac 
ing, outside world. I was treated with 
nice friendliness and responded in turn, 
but. . . I felt a bit puzzled as I left the 
Gallery and walked to the subway 
Best regards to both of you from G 
and myself. 


As ever, 
Maxwell 


10 Montague Terrace 
Brooklyn, New York 
February 24th 
Dear Ben and Rose: 

Thanks very much for the weekly 
check which came yesterday . . . The 
Fellows in American Letters of the Li- 
brary of Congress have just awarded a 
$1000 poetry prize to Ezra Pound. This 
honoring of a shallow, pompous, race- 
hating, heartless old wraith of a fascist— 
who was a trivially eccentric snob long 
before fascism came into being—repre- 
sents a brazen insult to American poets 
nd poctry. Reading through a list of the 
judges in the account printed by The 
New York Times, Louise Bogan, Conrad. 
Aiken, T.S. Eliot, Allen Tate, et al., I 
failed to see the inclusion of a single 
person known to me as a Jewish creative 
writer. Another writer apologetically 
confessed to me that the entire situation 
was a bit odd, and I replied that it was 
as odd as a pane of wansparent glass . . - 
If you can send the next check so that it 
will reach us on the coming Monday, we 
will greatly appreciate it. We hope that 
your book is proceeding smoothly and 
we both send both of you our best 
regards. 


As ever, 
Maxwell 


10 Montague ‘Terrace 
Brooklyn, New York 
Saturday 
Dear Ben: 

Glad you like the two poems. After 
reading them—and I have 20 more, 
just as good and written during the past 
half ycar—you can readily sec why poct- 
ry of this kind doesn't have a snowball's 
chance on the equator with American 
magazines and papers. Five wecks ago 1 
sold one poem to Esquire and two 
months ago Poetry—once Harriet Mon 
roe’s pet—accepted another. Never be- 
fore in the history of American print 
have magazincs shrunk to such a low lev- 
el. Formerly, on the cultural field, we 
had Dial, The Freeman, The Double 
Dealer, The Little Review, The Seven 
Arts Monthly, ctc. Now we have exactly 
nothing, and after the War, with the 
attendant dull, semif sneak punch 
which certain men will try to put over 
here, it will be even worse . . . J have 
been very ill with neuritis, arthritis, and 
a slightly frayed heart. Put a nice si 
dagger, sympathy for underlings, and a 
searching grin into that new book you 
writing. In the midst of my material 
flirtations with a park bench as a future 
couch, and my semistarvations, I'm glad 
that a few men are still alive to write 
edged wuth and matters generally offen- 
sive to pigs, foxes and rodents. Despite 
our personal differences, I have always 
liked your w 1d can honestly say 


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that I've never slammed it. Do write 
very soon. I'm enclosing another poem. 


As ever, 
Bogie 
When I say I've never slammed your 
work, Count Bruga, of course, is 
excepted. 


P.S. Give my very best wishes to Rose. I 
hope it’s a girl! 


10 Montague Terrace 
Brooklyn, New York 
Wednesday 
Dear Ben and Rose: 

Your weekly check came yesterday 
afternoon. Thanks a lot. The Cleveland 
Plain Dealer mailed me a clipping of a 
tiny 17-line review of the Selected Poems 
which states that the poems are uneven 
but “there are times when Maxwell 
Bodenheim rises to heights from which 
he cannot be dislodged by any legitimate 
criticisms. His influence on his impor- 
tant era—from 1914 to today—will be 
acknowledged in the end," Seems that 
some of the out-of-town boys and girls 
haven't heard of the Gotham brush-off 
and indifference bloc, or are too fair to 
subscribe to it. Glad to note that Swan 
Song is contradicting its title and hold- 
ing on in a lingering prelude. Now that 
OPA has been murdered, the cute black 
hogs can give themselves a coat of white- 
wash and emerge as legally sanctioned 
white swine. The big bloaters were also 
getting envious of their underworld half 
brothers and decided to end the intoler- 

ion. Capitalism will eventual- 

ly crumple under the weight of its greedy 
clichés, ponderously frayed hypocrisies 
and unholy marriage between race- 
ating poisons and commercial rivalries 
for world markets, and the result will be 
a better life for the many or a survival 
of a few dazed wandering semisavages. 
‘The finale may not take place for two 
or three hundred years because the old 
top hog is tricky, resourceful and as- 
tute . .. Well, fond regards to you and 
Rose and best wishes to your daughter. 

As ever, 
Bogie 


10 Montague Terrace 
Brooklyn, New York 
Wednesday 


Dear Rose and Ben: 

When I opened the letter in the hotel 
lobby and took out the two checks, I 
wept a little, and the hotel clerks and 
bellboys regarded me with a sort of sus- 
picious and puzzled aloofness, wonder- 
g whether they were witnessing a 
mysterious ham act or deep emotion. 
‘Thanks very, very much to both of you. 
The landlady accepted the money with 
an amazed, sullen manner—the mien of 
a bafiled wolf—though she had to be ver- 
bally polite and there is nothing else she 
can inflict now. . . I hope that you have 
read my short stories and will tell me 


226 whether they are good or bad. This is 


one of the very few times that I have 
ever been rescued from a greased tight- 
rope several feet away from the edge of 
the chasm and I'm still a bit shaky. 
Thanks again. I do hope that TH have a 
chance to talk to both of you soon. My 
second play, The Elusive Answer, was 
presented to Mike Todd two weeks ago 
and I'm crossing fingers and hoping for 
a miracle. Fond regards to both of you 
and best wishes to your daughter. 
As ever, 
Bogic 


10 Montague Terrace 
Brooklyn, New York 
Monday, September 8th 
Dear Ben and Rose: 

Thanks very much for the weekly 
check which came today. In an ancient 
Chinese tale, the poet Li T'ai-po recited 
his personal woes to another creator 
much more endowed with worldly goods. 
"The other quizzically remarked that the 
list represented a monotone of misfor- 
tunes calling for an equally undeviating 
amount of compassion close to the 
haustion of boredom. Li T'ai-po replied 
that the ability of two monotones to 
blend harmoniously represented a test of 
the presence or absence of suppleness, 
depth and variety in friendship. . . The 
building in which we live has been sold, 
and the landlady, only a lessee, must va- 
cate the premises. We have heen told by 
the city renting commission that we can 
remain, after her departure, and strive 
to make arrangements with the new 
owner, The hitch is that the furniture in 
our place belongs to her, and she has 
offered to sell it to us and asked us to 
name a figure. So, we must either 
purchase the furniture, or buy 
airs, beds, tables, etc., or be left w 
bare apartment and the floor for sleep- 
ing quarters. With a new abode practi- 
cally impossible to find in the present 
housing shortage, this leaves us in a dire 
dilemma. One hundred and fifty dollars 
including the coming rent would solve 
our abrupt and entirely unexpected 
problem, I trust that you will not be ir- 
ritated at my having at least presented 
the above facts to you. The deadline for 
the furniture purchase is September 
làth. 

Hoping to hear from you, we send our 
fond regards and best wishes to your lit- 
tle daughter. 


As ever, 
Bogie 


10 Montague Terrace 
Brooklyn, New York 
March 10th 

Dear Ben and Rese: 
Thanks very much for the weekly 
check which came today v 
I spend 15 minutes every Sunday lis- 
tening to ex. Mayor La Guardia over the 
radio, as he lambastes the 30-percent 
loan sharks; the real-estate gang blocking 


mail. 


sorely needed housing construction until 
rent ceilings are abolished and rentals 
can skyrocket; the food firms and their 
clammy, infinitesimal tricks; the profes- 
sional gamblercrooks and their crocodile 
lurkings, etc. The guy is shrill, stutter- 
ing, old-maidish and sometimes banal, 
but his sheer guts, defiance, and pound- 
ing away at little disagreeable truths and 
facts are marvelous in comparison to the 
dreary, smooth, covered-up hacks among 
other radio commentators. If he is con- 
nected to the t, you ought to tune 
in on him some Sunday noon. His New 
York station is WJZ. 

Fond regards to both of you and best 
wishes to your child. 


As ever, 
Bogie 


Dear Ben and Rose Hecht: 

Please forgive my delay in thanking 
you for the $100 check—a delay caused 
by the fact that I've been. having a tough 
time of it. 1 was compelled to leave the 
Brooklyn address where dearest Grace 
and I lived for so many years. At present, 
m staying with surface friends in New 
York City, but I have no privacy there, 
since my bed is in their living room and 
their children are prying and noisy. A 
lone drab room in a third-rate hotel 
would repel me. I have searched for a 
locked«loor private room with a nice 
Tamily—I would eat my meals outside— 
but that is difficult to find. On the night 
before the morning on which Grace died 
in the flesh only, I gave a lecture before 
an evening English class at Washington 
Irving High School in New York and 
hurried back to Grace. Our apartment- 
door lock was broken and Grace closed 
the door with er latch. which I 
could lift from the outside with a knife. 
On this night she had forgotten and 
locked the door. Very sick, she had to 
crawl on hands and knees to open the 
door. I telephoned her doctor but, since 
we owed him $10, he refused to come 
and sent a substitute, who injected mor- 
phine into her aching legs and assured 
me that she would fall asleep and sur- 
vive. At the beginning of the next morn 
ing when she was gasping for breath, I 
phoned him again, desperately, and he 
came... when it was too late. Then he 
had the nerve to stand in the doorway 
and ask me if ] was going to pay him. 
If the landlord had heeded our pleas to 
repair the lock, Grace might still be 
alive in the flesh. The us heart- 
lessness of most human beings appalls 
me... I am not asking for money and 
I sincerely mean this, but if I could have 
a quiet talk with both of you, soon, I 
would deeply appreciate it, as I seem to 
be going to pieces. 


As ever, 
Maxwell Bodenheim 


Bogie 
Ba 


E CAN'T SEEM TO GET ANNIE OUT OF THE SOUTH 
SEAS BUT WITH HER FETCHING GRASS- SKIRT 
ENSEMBLE --- THERE'S NO HURRY! --- IP YOU RECALL, 
ANNIE AND RALPHIE HAD A RUN-IN ON A DESERT 
ISLAND WITH A BAND OF NO-GOODNIK CASTAWAYS 
LED BY AN ORANGUTAN, BUT MEN WHO CHOOSE 
TOBE LED BY APES ARE EVENTUALLY DISILLUSIONED 
AND NOW THEY SEEK TO ESCAPE IN THE LIFE- 
BOAT ANNIE AND RALPHIE ARE ALSO USING 

TO ESCAPE IN... 


BAIL OR 
PUT A COAT ON 
SO'S THEY'LL GO 
TO THE OTHER END 
OF THE BOAT! 


227 


PLAYBOY 


228 


DONT RUSH IT! 
YOU'LL UPSET 
EVERYTHING! 


ONE MORE 
PASSENGER ANO 


IRST TIME 


THEN'RE GENE. IT WOULD 
BEINGS, RALPHIE « BE TERRIBLE 
FORTUNATELY THERE'S. UST TO LEAVE ANY- 
ENOUGH ROOM FOR 

EVERYONE. 


WE'LL LET YOU IN 
IN DUE TIME, 


1 CAN'T WAIT! THE 
SITUATION ISN'T VERY 
TOLERABLE OUT HERE. 


RISK 
OUR LIVES 
EST. 


o 
SACRIFICE 
FOR 
us 
EQUALITY 
[4 


WE 
/ TOLO THAT 
THEY'RE TURNING BOY TO JUST. 
AROUND! NOW BE PATIENT- 
EVERYONE WILL 
BE RESCUED. 


WELL, 
SIR THIS 
GENTLEMAN 


OISCUSS THE 
MATTER, 


229 


PLAYBOY 


230 


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DADDY 
BIGBUCKS! 


RALPHIE ! WERE SAVED! YOU'VE GOT TO DF COURSE, EXTREMISTS ARE A GOOD INVEST- 
SUGARDADDY BIGBUCKS DID HAVE HEART, THOSE MUSLIMEN | MENT, MY CHILD. | LIKE TO ENCOURAGE 
IT AGAIN! HE'S. ALWAYS ANNIE. PM WILLING HAVE KIND OF THEM: THERE'S NOT MUCH MONEY 
RESCUING ME IN THE NICK TO HELP ANYBODY EXTREME VIEWS, | IN THIS ADVENTURE, BUT ! LOOK 
OF TIME AND COMING TO WHO WANTS MY BUT THEY WERE | ON iT AS AN INVESTMENT IN THE 
PEOPLE'S ASSISTANCE AND HELP --- REGARD - WILLING TO FUTURE THAT CAN GROW TO STAG- 
UKE THAT. HOW DO YOU LESS OF RACE, CREED RESCUE THAT | GERING PROPORTIONS/-AND WHAT 
DO IT, CADDY 2 OR COLOR. HAVE 1 GAMBLED € - SOME OBSOLETE 
EQUIPMENT ! — & FEW SURPLUS 
UNIFORMS! 


Fate" 


Elder, Hoar 4. @. Jaffee 


THE BLACK MUSLMENS 

MUST BE OBEDIENT AND RESOLUTE! 

WE MUST HAVE NEAT, CLEAN UNIFORNS ! 
WE MUST HAVE RIFLES! AND WE 


must BUILD A SUPER RACE !! 


UNFORTUNATELY 
THE UNIFORMS STILL 
HAVE THE ORIGINAL 
SWASTIKAS, BUT THEY 
CAN BE CHANGED TO 
X'S WITHOUT MUCH 
TROUBLE. 


HEY! 
-WHERE 

YOU GOING, 
BOY ? 


1€ 


a 
N 


PLAYBOY 


232 


PLAYBOY 
READER SERVICE 


Write to Janet Pilgrim for the 
answers to your shopping 
questions. She will provide you 
with the name of a retail store 
in or near your city where you 
can buy any of the specialized 
items advertised or editorially 
featured in PLAYBOY. For 
example, where-to-buy 
information is available for the 
merchandise of the advertisers 
in this issue listed below. 


Lern sincks 
Georzln Giant cts 
Gien Onis Sincke - "dete E 
Use this Hne for mformation about other featured mer- 
ps 


Miss Pilgrim will be happy to 
answer any of your other 
questions on fashion, travel, food 
and drink, hi-fi, etc. If your 
question involves items you saw 
in PLAYBOY, please specify 

page number and issue of tl 
magazine as well as a brief 
description of the items 
when you write. 


PLAYBOY READER SERVICE 
232 E. Ohio St., Chicago, Ill. 60611 


S N D PLAYBOY 
PLAYBOY 
EVERY 
MONTH 
D 3yrs. for $20 (Save 510.00) 
D lyrfor*8 (Save 52.00) 


O paymentenclosed Πbill later 
TO: 


address 


ciy ~ state 
Mail to PLAYBOY 


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096 


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NEXT MONTH: 


FASHION FORECAST MOVIE SATIRE 


“HEAVY SET"—A BROODING TALE INVOLVING OEDIPUS, AR- 
RESTED DEVELOPMENT AND THE MALEVOLENT AFTERMATH OF 
A HALLOWEEN PARTY—BY RAY BRADBURY 


A CANDID CONVERSATION WITH CASSIUS CLAY—THE 
HARD-HITTING, WILD-TALKING HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION AND 
BLACK MUSLIM UNLEASHES A TWO-FISTED VERBAL BARRAGE 
AT THE CRITICS OF HIS CONDUCT INSIDE THE RING AND OUT, 
IN AN EXCLUSIVE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


“THE 1965 PLAYBOY JAZZ POLL'"—YOUR BALLOT IN THE 
NINTH ANNUAL PLAYBOY POLL TO SELECT THE TOP JAZZ PER- 
FORMERS OF THE YEAR 


“SUE ME RICH”—A TITILLATING TINSELTOWN YARN OF THE 
TURNABOUT THAT SETS IN WHEN A WRITER TRIES ost HIGH 
JINKS TO HYPO HIS BOOK SALES—BY BERNARD WOLF! 


“PLAYBOY’S FALL AND WINTER FASHION FORECAST” — 
OUR SEMI-ANNUAL GUIDE TO CORRECT MEN'S ATTIRE FOR THE 
COMING SEASON—BY ROBERT L. GREEN 


“CAUGHT IN THE ACT"—A SATYRIC PHOTO SATIRE OF THE 
BEDROOM TECHNIQUES OF TOP MOVIE DIRECTORS FEDERICO 
FELLINI, INGMAR BERGMAN, STANLEY KUBRICK, JOSEPH 
Ni CZ, TONY RICHARDSON, ALFRED HITCHCOCK 
AND OTHERS—BY JERRY YULSMAN 


“RAINBOWS IN A BUCKET"—A PERSONAL PAEAN TO THE 
DELIGHTS AND FRUSTRATIONS OF ANGLING FOR THE ELUSIVE 
TROUT—BY VANCE BOURJAILY 


“MARCO POLO'S SPICES"—A FEMME-FILLED PICTORIAL STAR- 
RING HORST BUCHHOLZ 


“THE BRASS TELEPHONE''—A TAUT STORY OF AN EXPLOSIVE 
ASSIGNATION THAT HAS A TOTALLY ODDBALL DENOUEMENT— 
BY KEN W. PURDY 


“THE PIOUS PORNOGRAPHERS REVISITED'"—CONCLUDING 
A BITING TWO-PART LOOK AT WHAT'S HAPPENED TO THE SEX- 
MAD LADIES' MAGS—BY WILLIAM IVERSEN 


“INSTANT EPITAPHS"—FAR-FROM-GRAVE SWAN SONGS FOR 
A VARIETY OF DEAR DEPARTEDS—BY LARRY SIEGEL 


“PLAYBOY’S ELECTRONIC ENTERTAINMENT WALL"—A 
LUXURIOUS AUDIO-VISUAL INSTALLATION FOR THE ULTIMATE 
IN AT-HOME ENJOYMENT 


“PLAYMATES REVISITED—1962"—A PICTORIAL REPRISE OF 
ALL THE PLAYMATES FROM OUR NINTH YEAR OF PUBLICATION 


Jerry Hillebrand has left college but stayed with University Row’ 
Manhattan? knows that the button-down way of life lasts beyond college days. That's why we take such 
pains with our University Row shirts and sport shirts. Every collar, loop, button and pleat is exactly as it 
should be. Here, Jerry wears University Row oxford in muted stripes that look correct without being stuffy 
about it. The shirt, $5.00, just one of a great line-up of sport and dress styles | — 
intheUniversityRowcollection, all the last word in button-down authenticity. E7 A 


Who knows as much about scotch as the Scots? 


BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY, B6.8 PROOF + BOTTLEO IN SCOTLAND « RENFIELD IMPORTERS, LTD., N.Y. 


Britain's largest seller 
is Haig.