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“THE MAN
WITH THE
GOLDEN GUN"

BEGINNING
THE FINAL
JAMES BOND
ADVENTURE NOVEL
BY IAN FLEMING

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There's a tall, handsome Bird in your future

Distinguished, versatile, celebrated... this handsome Bird is des-
tined for you if you are a seeker of Bourbon perfection. But, enough
of crystal gazing! Break out the ice. Bring on the mixes. Pour on
the Crow. Why wait for tomorrow? Those who know, drink
America’s historic favorite-famous, smooth, mellow OLD CROW

into my
crystal ball

PLAY BILL 77702 aren in a row, we proudly present the exclusive
prepublication of a James Bond novel. Our two previous
ns of the late lan Flem

s ng’s masterspy works, You Only Lwe Twice
(vLAvnov, April-June, 1964) and On Her Majesty's Secret Service (rtaynoy, April-
June, 1963), went on to become best sellers in hardcover and paperback, and will
ultimately find their way to the screen—t become box-office smashes, we're con
fident. Starting in this issue is Fleming s final Bond book, The Man with the Golden
Gun: much as we mourn its author's passing, we're glad to report—and feel cert:
you'll agree—that he was at the height of his inventive powers when he completed
Golden Gun shortly before his death. Scaramanga, villainous wielder of the title
I rank with Goldfinger as a marvelously murderous and )

monster: Bond, bent on vindication as well as victor
tably suave and lethal manner.

Shortly before his fatal he:

t attack, we received a warm letter from Tan Flemin
saying, in part, "Please be sure that Pravmov will, as previously, receive preferen
tial treatment from my pen and, for your ears only, I recently turned. down
olfer from [here Fleming named another American magazine, but we won't violate
his confidence by repeating it] for the serialization of my next book on the grounds
that I felt morally committed to you . . ." The “next book” was, of course, The Man
with the Golden Gun, but the death of James Bond's creator made it nece to
negotiate purchase of the manuscript with his British representative, a man whose
London phone number is, not coincidentally, 007.

This April's cover finds the ever-gallant Playboy R:
a young lady starting from scratch. When cover girl L
model for us, she delightfully decorates P
receptionist, We know Lannie will receive a warm reception from rrAvso readers
when she appears as a Playmaie in the very near future.

Starting, too, in this issue, is onc of PLAYBOY'S most ambitious projects to date,
The History of Sex in Cinema. From the first ng osculatory frames of The Kiss
to the latest sequences of Cinemascopic sex, chroniclers Arthur Knight and Hollis
Alpert will be turni ed eyes screenward for a definitive study of sex,
sin. the c ominously omnipresent censors. The Messrs. Knight and
Alpert are uniquely suited for the task. Knight, longtime movie critic for the Sat-
wrday Review, authored The Liveliest Art and the motion-picture entries in both
the Encyclopaedia Britannica and the Crowell-Collier encyclopedia, has taught film.
courses at both USC and UCLA; he has a television series, Anight al the Movies, in
preparation, recently returned from participating in an Indian film festival which
he attended at the request of famed director Satyajit Ri Knight will also be re-

nembered by rLaywoy readers for The Far Out Films (April 1960) and Cinema on
a Shoestring (April 1962). Hollis Alper Iso a film critic for the Saturday. Review,
is a for New Yorker editor and author of the recent bestselling biography The
Barrymoves; he has another biography and a novel in the hoppe

The subject of this month's Playboy Interview, the Capitol Romnda's rotund

Rabelais, Art Buchwald, was interrogated by one of Washington's least-known po-

aspirants, Great Society reject à Sull nur wounds sullered
in a highly unsuccessful campaign for the Republican Presidential nomination,
Kitman has been busy writing The Making of a Republican President, “a garden:
ing manual in which I rake up the past.”

J n Shepherd, confector of Old Man Pulaski and the Infamous Jawbreaker
Blackmail, a sugar-coated nostalgia nougat on the sweets of days gone by, swears that
“the mere mention of penny candy still makes me break out in a cold swi ad
causes my teeth to itch.” Shepherd has just finished a play, The Nature of the Ene-
my (subütled A Love Story in Two Rounds) which will be performed at Manhat
tan's Limelight club for presentation on nationwide TV.

praynoy regular Herbert Gold, whose description of one of his favorite haunts,
The New Barbary Coast, accompanies
current entertainment phenomenon, Those F
end of this month will find him in Saint-Raphaël, France, as part of the American
delegation to the Formentor Conference, an international writers group which
awards the annual 510.000. Formentor Prize, Anyone who calls men's hair stylist
Jay Sebring (Topping OI the Well-Groomed Man) a barber, docs so at his own
peril—Jay’s ate expert. Identifying Sebring as a barber is as gauche as tagging
Jascha Heifetz a fiddler. His Los Angeles tonsorium is a weekly mecca for a host of
Hollywood's male stars who pay $20 (530 for the initial styling) for the privilege of
having Sebring find the correct key to their locks.
LAYBOY'S on Director Robert L, Green, sartor
& Summer Fashion Forecast, has just completed. 56
preparing a video men's fashion show to be taped im color by RCA at the New
York World's Fair. Among April's sparkling fiction: Arthur C. Clarke's harrowing
space tale, Maelstrom 14: J Finney's weird fantasy, Double Take; P. G. Wodc-
house's hilarious Bingo Little mis dventure, Stylish Stout; and Ray Russell's cine-
matic satire, Seduced—Sicilian Style.

Also included in our April show
Genys The Force of Habit, wh buting Editor,
nd Finance, delineates the virtues and vices of establ an executive
The Playboy Bed, a wordsand-pictures takeout on a wondrously electronic sleep
center custom-made for Morphcusin-the-round; and Playmate Play-off, oliering a
trio of ebon-tresed candidates for Playmate of the Year. Herein, then: an exhilarat-
ig tonic to set the tone for the revivilying swing into spring.

bit lending his ears to aid
nnie Balcom isn’t itching to
aYsov's Chicago editorial offices as a

eyepapping pictorial on San Francisco's
is

y Friscothéques, tells us that the

ial soothsayer of our Spring
adio and TV appearances, is

of goodies—visual and cerebral:

IT and ALPERY

PLAYBOY

Ploymate Play-off

Fashion Forecast P. 101

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LISHED MONTHLY BY MUN PUBLISHING CO., INC.,
IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS, PLAYBOY
SECOND CLASS FOSTAGE PMD AT CHICAG

SUBSCRIPTIONS: IM THE U.5., $8 FOR ONE TEAR,

vol. 12, no. 4—april, 1965

CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE

PLAYBILL.... 3
DEAR PLAYBOY. ? E
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS " zac ane
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR... E 37
PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK PATRICK CHASE 41
THE PLAYBOY FORUM " punit 43
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: ART BUCHWALD—candid conversation. 51
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN fiction JAN FLEMING 64
THOSE FRISKY FRISCOTHEQUES. rere * 7

THE NEW BARBARY COAST—anticle ..... x HERBERT GOLD 73

THE NUDE DISCOTHÈQUE—pictoriol... — 74
STYLISH STOUT —fiction P. G. WODEHOUSE 77
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE—food m THOMAS MARIO 78
THE FORCE OF HABIT—article. ae : J. PAUL GETTY 81
OLD MAN PULASKI—nostalgia * JEAN SHEPHERD 82
MAELSTROM I ARTHUR C. CLARKE 84
SEDUCED—SICILIAN STYLE—sati on RAY RUSSELL 87
THE PLAYBOY BED—modern living. MR p ec 188

SWEET SUE—ployboy's playmate of the month 92
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor. s 98

PLAYBOY'S SPRING & SUMMER FASHION FORECAST —attire ROBERT L. GREEN 101
DOUBLE TAKE—fiction JACK FINNEY 111
PLAYMATE PLAY-OFF—pictorial ns
POMPOSITY REPAID BY A KNAVE—ribald classic 123
TOPPING OFF THE WELL-GROOMED MAN—orticle JAY SEBRING 125
THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA —article ARTHUR KNIGHT ond HOLLIS ALPERT 127
SEND ME NO TEEVEE JEEBIES — s — SHEL SILVERSTEIN 134
THE PLAYBOY ART GALLERY —humor. an JIM BEAMAN 173

r editor and publisher
A. €. SPECTORSKY associate publisher and editorial director
ARTHUR PAUL art director

JACK J. kesse managing editor VINCENT T. TAJIRI picture editor

SHELDON WAX senior editor; PETER ANDREWS, FRANK DE BLOIS, MURRAY FISHER, MICHAEL
LAURENCE, NAT LEHRMAN, WILLIAM. MACRLE associale editors; ROWRT GREEN fashion
director; DAVID TAYLOR associate fashion editor; womas mario food & drink
editor; warwick case. travel editor; J. vaut. hibuting editor, busmess
& finance; CHARLES BEAUMONT, RICHARD CEHMAN, KEN W. PLEDY, ROBERT RUARK
contributing editors; ANLENE WOURAS copy chief; RAY WILLIAMS assistant editor; urv
CHAMBERLAIN associate picture editor; BONNIE BOVIK assistant picture editor; MARIO
CASILLI, LARRY GORDON, J- BARRY O'ROURKE, POMPEO POSAR, JERRY YULSMAN staf) pho-
lographers; STAN MALINOWSKI contributing photographer; FRED GLASER models
stylist; RED AUSTIN associate art director; RON BLUME, JOSEPH. PACZEK assistant art
directors; WALTER KRADENYCH art assistant; CYNTHIA MADDON assistant cartoon
editor; jonx mastro production manager; ALLEN VANGO assistant production
manager; PAT PAPPAS Tights and permissions e HOWARD W. LEDERER advertising
director; JOstrm FALL advertising manager; JoLts Kase associate advertising
manager; SHERMAN KEATS chicago aduertisi josten GUENTHER detroit
advertising manager; NELSON ruven promotion dir DAN CAUMAK promotion
ector; nri

ANSON MOUNT college bureau; THEO FRED
M reader service; WALTER HOWARTH subscription fulfillment manage
SELLERS special projects; ROBERT PkELSS business manager è circulation director.

TY co

Lowscm publicity manager; MNNY DUNN public relations
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DEAR PLAYBOY

EJ avpress ptavsoy MAGAZINE

KING'S ROW
Although 1 have enjo

vour earlier Playboy Interviews, the one
featuring Martin Luther King in the
January issue was especially enlight
ening and inspiring to me. 1 believed
that I knew all aspects of the American
Negro's struggle for his rights: Dr. Kir
ted points new and profound
e to be congratulated for this
overdue presentation, Now | re
more fully why this gentlem
igh honor.
g is a credit to all mankind

C. Hauser

Tulsi, Oklahoma

ed many of

After reading the interview with Mar-
Luther King, I that T
ce with his solution to the u
nent problem, Mr. King twice says
that it is the Government's function to
iet jobs for all.” Av the risk of being
called a rightwinger, 1 have always be-
ieved that it is the responsibility of each
person to find a job for himself based on
his individual skills, knowledge and
education,

find must

Don Pagel
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Keep damn trash like Martin Luther
King out of your magazine
K. K.K.
Carthage, Tennessee

You are indeed to be congratulated on
the depth interview with Dr. Martin Lu-
ther King, Jr, published in the January
issue of PLAYBoy. There is probably no
more urgent need in America today than
that for us in white America to feel the
motivations underlying the still-devel-
oping momentum in the movement for
racial equality in our society. Dr. King's
eloquence cllectively helps the reader
feel that motivation in your interview.

When Southern lunch counters are rap-
idly desegregating but residential arcas in
Northern cities continue to grow even
more intensely segregated, it is hard for
the ordinary white person to sense what
is happening to, and within the minds
of, our Negro fellow citizens. Lacking
ordinary contacts with Negroes compa
rable to those we have with near neigh-

232 E. OHIO ST., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

tend to

bors and fellow workers, we
assume that all legiti
full and equal membership in our soci
ety are being met, or, at least, will be in
due course, This complacency can con-
uibute to the destructiveness of the
explosion we ought to anticipate from
the dynamite of grievance that lives in
our midst
Only full knowledge of these real and

legitimate grievances, which continue to
grow even in the midst of our civil rights
revolution, cam galvanize our society
adiness to take the steps necessary
to resolve them. And only with a vision
such as Dr. King's, of the better society
we could create, will we move to de-
mand of ourselves that we live by our
own, national, first principles: “that all
men are created equal, that they are
endowed by their Creator with cer
alienable Rights, that among these
Life, Liberty and the pursuit of
ppiness."

John de J. Pemberton, Jrs

Executive Director
American Civil Liberti
New York, New York

mor

Union

BULLY FOR T AN

The first sentence by Ken Tynan on
bullfighting that I ever saw was when he
described a certain matador's doing “a

rebolera that was as flashy as a starlets
autograph.” Since then, I've enjoyed his
intellectual and scholarly approach to

“el Arte de Cuchares” enormously, and
his Beatle in the Bull Ring in your
January issue was no exception.
Now if we could only somehow get
Cordobés to emulate Tynan's apprecia
tion of the classics—clussic taurine pass-
es, that is—-we might make him into
true torero de época instead of merely a
talented, mopheaded acrobat.
Barnaby Conrad
San Francisco, Californi:

How obvious it is that our society is
bleeding the life out of all the art forms.
1 won't go into all the obvious slaugh
ters, but I do want to thank Mr. Tynan
for his article Beatle in the Bull Ring. 1
have followed bullfighting as closely as
posible: I've seen only novilleros in
Mexico, but I have done much reading.

SUBSCRIPTIONS: INTHE v.s

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SWN48Vd NIANY?

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but give her

>
A
U
IT]
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m

PLAYBOY

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Manolete embodied the soul of the cor
rida. When he died, onc of his banderil
leros said, “They kept demanding more
and more of him, and more was his life.
so he gave it to then

Mr. Tynam's article ended much of
the feeling I have for the art with his
clear, often bitter, account of the reign
of El Cordobés. Long after the Beatles
and this “fraud” have been forgotten.
we will be left with the true art. But
what a waste of time. ;Qué lástima!
for I do
not find much writen on bullfighting
here in the States. The names, date:
places, etc., were all real and the auth
ticity is rare.

Lois Rosen
Brooklyn, New York

FUTURE TENSE

Your January issue was. even by the
continuously high standards of your fine
magazine, truly superlative. Sir Julian
Huxley's eloquent analysis of the popu
lation explosion and Ray Bradbury's
brilliant insight imo the nature of
man were particularly stimulating. Many
thanks to PLAvnoy for the finest d-
ing e

inment.

T. J. Chryst
St. Louis, Missouri

Will you please give me permission to
reproduce two of the articles appearing
in the January rraynov? Remembrances
of Things Future by Ray Bradbury and
The Age of Overbreed by Sir Jul
Huxley are both about topics of inte
to our Unitarian Church, and I would
like to make cop

's of these (wo articles
available for discussion. Distribution
will be limited to the membership of the
Huntsville Church. The variety and so
cial significance of the material appear-
ing in your publication continue to
amaze me.

"Thomas F. Snyder
Huntsville, Alabama
Permission granted.

Speaking as a research biologist, I
would like to say that the case presented
for birth control as written by Sir Julian
Huxley is the most concise and. impas-
sioned that T've ever encountered. How-
ever, Sir Julian fails to. present. the
importance of educating the busines-
| to accept the concept of a stable
come, rather than cont
out for a "record. year.”
for a greater market. may be one of the
greatest inhibitors of a sane policy of
population. control.

James M. V:

Hyattsville, Maryland

Congratulations on the superior ar-
ticle by Sir Julian Huxley regarding
overpopulation as a threat to human
survival on carth. The article is erudite,
well presented and entirely convincing.

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‘The singular stress on public a
may, however, I

areness

ders ade-

ave many rea
quately "aware" but paralyzed as to

what to do to translate this new aware

ness into constructive action.
It would seem equally signifi
publish a sequel stating what the awarc

citizen can do. The article ni

nt to

ight include
suggestions to:

(I) Check the public-health facilities
in your own locality. to be sure that
child spacing and birth conuol are
offered as an integral part of the tax
supported maternity health program
serving the underprivileged.

(2) Insist that birth control be in-
cluded in all tax-supported health and
welfare programs, be they local, national
or in foreign aid.

(3) Promote organizations in the com-
munity that will invite experts. on
population as speakers not only to
speak about India and South America,
but about the tragedy in our own back
yard: birth-control services so readily
available to middle- and upperincome
families that are still being excluded
from health services offered 10 the under
privileged.

anny Myers, M.D., Co-Chairma
izens for the Extension of

Birth Control Services
Chicago, Illinois

Sir Julian Huxley's The Age of Over-
breed is the most important article you

have ever printed. The population ex-
plosion is by far the world's greatest
problem, and the other great issucs—
rac
like! are directly
alfected by it. I hope more and more
prominent people in religion, politics
and science speak out and write about it,
for every year that goes by without a
massive attack on it will make it that
much harder to control.

Bill Bunyan, Jr.

Fowler, Kansas

al strife, political tension and the

hood of nuclear wa

The Age of Overbreed is one of the
best and most informative articles on
birth control and the population ex-
plosion that I have ever read. My thanks
to Sir Julian.

How alarming it is that with birth-
control pills, etc., available, our world is
so backward and seemingly so uncon-
cerned. T hope to sec the day come when
our society has as much common sense
about preventing pregnancies as it has
about preventing vitamin deficiencies.
There is a higher probability within the
typical American family of a daughter
developing an unwanted pregnancy
than there is of the same girl developing
a vitamin deficiency, yet we pass out the
vitami
the birth-control pills.

Marilyn. M. Scherphorn
Grand Rapids, Michigan

s when we should be passing out

Huxley's chilling article on the pop
ulation boom left me vaguely relieved

back
with my neighbor in the relatively near
future. May I suggest a slogan for the
sponsors of the population implosion

that L won't be around to play pi

Not by brood alone.
Barry D. Galm
Palo Alto,

n, M.D.
California

RE RAY
May 1 express my profound joy upon
reading Ray Bradbury's Remembrances
of Things Future (vavnoy, January
1965), and my thanks to you for publish
ng it. It was one of the most beautiful
athrmations and expressions of the divin
ity in humanity that I have ever read.
Robert M. McLaughlin
Bloomington, Indiana

BRONX CHEER

Now I am a new man. I can walk
down the street without fear. T can speak
to any young lady without fear. Why
you ask? Because my avenger is here—
Hosileman [rtaynoy, January 1965]
Yes, Hostileman—“avenger of the meek.
the recalcitrant, the scared and the dubi-
ous: champion of the clumsy, wheel horse
for the inept.” Have Mr. Feilfer continue
his good work

so the sun will shine on

many more “meek” lives.
Saul Weisberg
Bronx, New York

PLAYMATE PARTISANS
For Playmate of the Year I nominate
China Lee (August), who is by far the
most beautiful of the 1964 Playmates.
Phil Eisman
Allentown, Pennsylvania

Playmate of the Year? No contest
December's Jo Collins by a smile.
Harvey Freeman
Los Angeles, California

pLaynoy's Playmate of the Year must
—I repeat, must—be Astrid Schulz, your
delectable Dutch Treat for September
Thomas Anthony

Bronx, New York

My vote for Playmate of the Year goes
to Miss January, Sharon Rogers.
red J. Reichley
Madison, Wisconsin

T would ate Cl

Miss August, for Playmate of the Year
Karl R. Huseboe

Lake Tahoe, C

Miss Lee, Miss Collins and Miss Schul

may be found e

fighting it out for Playmate of the Year.

ike to nomi

here in this issue,

AYE FOR THE EYE
You may have thought yourselves too

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New Orleans

your January issue with Vladimir Na
bokov's The Yow let me tell vou
something from a devoted, loyal and
admiring reader of many years, Gentle-
men, you are hypocrites. You make de
rogatory sport of commerci: j
but you then do worse by sei
totally serious, profound. my
ing work by a prose master whose books
acterized by cohesive interior

Part one of The Eye tr:
world of
ity

troubled dreams that vie with
Abruptly, 1 get to the end of the inst
ment, not the end of The Eye—an
worthy clibhanger trick on your p:
not the author's. TV commercials br
the spell of dubious dramatic works for
ter of minutes. You break the
ic Nabokov spell for a month a

Josef Schwann
New York, New York

Serialising a long work of fiction
nonfiction, for that matter—has been
standard magazine practice in* America
for over 100 years (Harper’s began run-

g serializations of Charles Dickens’
works back in 1850). Rather than mu-
tilaie “The Eye” by condensation or
excerpting, we presented it in install-
ments—the only way we could bring to
our readers this product of Nabokou's
genius.

INAUGURAL SPORT

During inauguration week, I
my Washingion hotel room and
much of your magnificent Jam
But the might after the d
elf, on the wain bi
Budd Schutberg’s eye-opening an:
ol political conventions
and national rituals. Everything he said
about them is true, but even truer of
augurals. 1 think Schulberg is unique
in having shown us the ritual nature of
the political spectaculars that we think
of as spout is expressions of d
mocracy in action. The fact is—as Schul-
berg pinpointed—much of our political
lile is concocted like spectator sports.
"The only variation is that at conventions
you can bet on the winner; at inaugurals,
you know beforehand.

Paul Eisler
H :

Anesti

MEDIUM MIX-UP
I had to see Terry Southern’s Seein
Is Believing (vLavwoy, January) to b
lieve wha a wordand.pic-
ihe superiority
ge, luv, and as
credit to you as to the author of
love. Candydly, how do you
count for having bombed your ox
Louis Gassner
` Florida
But we didn't; there’s room for all
media, but—as Southern said—there's

ERE 1i TBR

mM E TINI

Maybe you'll never race it...but you'll be tempted 7

Of course you'll be tempted!
After all, the Austin Healey Sprite
is bred to be used sportingly and
competitively. It is a bora fide sports
car. The official SCCA rating: Class
Hor Class G, depending on the year.
Of course you'll be tempted!
(Buteven if ycu never race,
the power you may someday need
is there.) The competition-proved
Austin Healey engine turns up
speeds in excess of 90 mph. There
are twin carbs and 4-speed shift.
Sprite can sprint...and keep on going!
Of course you'll be tempted!
(Buteven if you never race, the

there.) The steering is never
spongy or indefinite; and the
redesigned rear suspension
encourages impeccable manners.
Sprite is as sure-footed through
the corners as any other runners.
Of course you'll be tempted!
(But even if you never race, the
control you mustalways have
is there.) There are big disc brakes
up front and 7" drums in the rear.
Sprite's stopping power is
commensurate with its performance.
Of course you'll be tempted...
tempted to prove that your Sprite
can doashandsomely as it looks.
We have wrapped everything in the

smoothest possible envelope—
modern, Spartan and rather lovely.
All this and roll-up windows.
All this and 30 plus m.p.g.
All this for under $2,000. *
Temptation rears its lovely head—
at your MG-Austin Healey dealer.
Give in gracefully.

AUSTIN
HEALEY

PLAYBOY

no point in any one medium’s doing
what another can do better,

PINTER'S POINT

I saw Harold Pinter’s play The Care-
taker and found it disturbing on two
levels: It absorbed and horrified me, and
I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell

me. His story Tea Party, in your Janv-

i ad the same dual effect, which
is quite a feat to accomplish with prose
alone. But I do wish I knew what it
meant and would bet that Tm not alone

[ 4 in having no idea.
Thomas Judson
Locust ley, New York
No bets. See next letter.

1 am spokesman for six English ma-
jors, seniors all, who read Pinters Tea
Party and found it weirdly fascinating.
However, four of us had conllicüng

opinions on its meaning and the other
G avour two considered it a prime example of
"absurd" absence of any meaning what-
ever. We finally did agree that such
disparity of interpretation. was his aim.

Alec Kissinger
Berkeley, California

CAPITAL PUNNISHMENT

Re Bennett Cerf’s Wag Dogs Tales in
your January issue: “Pun” spelled back-
ward is "nup —Áánd a nup is à nup!

Ken Knudson
Madison, Wisconsin

DINNER JACKET DENOUFMENT

Your Fashion Director doesn't. men-

e tion where the progressive dinner party
portrayed in the January issue is being

given, buc I guess we may assume that it

is somewhere West of the Pecos, The
idea that any gentleman, even a playboy,
would appear "impeccable" at a black-
tie occasion wearing an olive or blue
dinner jacket taxes the belief of this
Easterner.

[!
3 Laurence O. McKinney
Cambridge, Massachuseus
You and the penguins may stick to

your basic black; most well-dressed young
men—and all men’s fashion authorities
—have long since welcomed muted solid
colors in dinner jackets for all formal
occasions that don't call for tails, as we
predicted eight years ago.

FIELDS DAY

As a nurse, 1 was shocked to read the
ignorant and bigoted views of a man in
my own profession (I refer to the letter

Ae, from Dr. E. R. Fields of Alabama in
A [ EACHER'S your January issue). I wish to thank you
Foran HIGHLAND for your intelligent and pointed reply to

CREAM

him, although the regrettable Lact is that
few prejudiced people have their ideas
changed by amount of rational
hy B6 Proof + ©Schielfelin & Co., N.Y. argument.

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Montreal, Quebec

How to start an up-to-date wardrobe on a shoestring.
(Begin with our new slip-on.)

There are three things that what we mean by a
make our new black slip-on different. shoestring.)

To start with, it’s made with Crazy?
"Living (Formula X-1000)°" Not when you figure that
Leather uppers. "Living" a lot of men who come in to
Leatherisanatural,top-grade uy a pair of
leather that's been given a Johnsonians go
pre-conditioning treatment. through some-
A special tanning process pro- thing like this.
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scratches, scrapes, strain, and like the styling.
rain and mud. All the things "They try them on
that wreck ordinary shoes. andlike the feel. They

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Johnsonians sell from 8.95 to 14.95. below and see if we can outfox you.

ARIZONA: Buckeys

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a Shoes, Castro Valley: Self Service Shoe Store, Compton: Mr.

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2 Yardbirds Shopping Center, Tacoma: Erickson's Shoe Store, Yelm: Wolf's Dept. Store, Seattle: Raymond's Shoes,

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WASHINGTON: Cheh:

PLAYBOY

who knows
what the day
will bring

when you
start with

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FOR GENTLEMEN

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Pre-Eleciric Shave Lotion 4 and 6 ounce sizes, 100 ta 1.75

Re tha det
Fields in your
sit openmouthec
dling it. 1 read

cred the Negro a `
only [or ga
cic. And then I remembered
out of the past in which the mother of
five children was declared by the Superi-
or Court of Arizona to be unfit (his
happened in the spring of 1964) because
of improper association with people of
another race. What the court
me; that the mothe
supper dub owned by a Negro wh
one who came in as long

ly her fault, You see, h
taught her to respect her elc
passed this on to her children. But her
mother forgot to tell her Gnd never
would) that age is only to be respected if

rs and she

i to the father (a man who
gs about his father’s belonging to the
Ku Klux Klan). Impossible, you say?
No, 1 remember. this case very clearly. 1
didn't believe that a woman could lose
her children because of the fact that she
was nol prejudiced, but 1 know for a
fact that it happened, because it hap-
pened to me

Maij
Pac

J- Moody
e Grove, California

HUNGARIAN RHAPSODY
We would like to express our tribute
to the makers of the world’s best and
ine. Although we
have only a few copies of rravBoy, we
are sure this statement. is tru
We are students of the Budapest
Technical University and interested in
American culture. We alw
TLAYBOY [rom our American pen

cresting, m

most

and having recei get w
gether and study it to the last. page. So
we hav kind of rLavnoy club.

You cannot imagine how many students
at our university read rivo and get
a picture of ry—a pic

uch we enjoy
agazine, it is enough to say that
some of us, including myself, felt. pro
voted to learn English in order to fully
ts wonderful. articles.
difücultes in getting
PLAYBOY, ay it is a special sort of Ameri-
can culture and no currency is given for
such a “nonsocialist™ culture.
Auila Marton
Budapest, Hu

spreadi

Who knows as much about scotch as the Scots?

BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY, 86.8 PROOF + BOTTLEO IN SCOTLANO * RENFIELD IMPORTERS, LTO., N. Y.

* We English.

HILL, OVERLOOKING THE AVON, OVERBURY. ENGLAND.
The Scots distill Haig—
we jolly well drink Haig.
Of hundreds of seotehes,

Britain’s largest seller is Haig.

You'll find Haig |
to your taste, too.

If I were a man, I'd smoke White Owl Miniatures.

If you are a man,
take up with the small, trim, good-looking
cigar that makes you look good.

White Owl Miniature... om
the little one.

PLAYBOY

n this otherwise charming month, re-
Wee with the promise of all sorts of
vernal delights, it seems wpical. if nor
fitting, that the Feds should do their an-

nual best to justify the late T. 5. Elior's
ssertion that "April is the cruelest
month." Taxpayers, whose fevered

brows even April showers can’t quite
cool, may derive a bit of envious solace
from the following, however: a report
on how a beleaguered citizen one-upped
the IRS and saved a healthy hunk of
hard-earned loot—simply by knowing his
assessments from a hole in the ground.

The hero of this true tale (for news of
whose joust with the Feds we are indebt-
ed to financial columnist Edwin Darby)
is one John J. Sexton, Honest John has
been in the garbagedump dodge for
some 30 years: he's also an excavating
and dirtmoving contractor. Years ago,
he first leased and subsequently pur
chased a tract of nonland, i.c. the site of
a day pit that was excavated to a depth
of about 50 feet. He used this nonland
for dumping. at a per-cubic-vard charge
10 his customers. Thus, the better his
business was, the less of an asset he had
in nothing; but the Feds didn't see it
that way, which left John in a hole of
another color—red. Not one to hole up
and muse his grievances, he took his
case to court and his contention—that he
paid $150,000 for a hole in the ground
and that only $44,000 worth of hole was
Jeft—won the court's sympathy to the ex-
tent of a ruling that he could take full
depreciation allowance on $106,000. Our
guess is that the defeated. Feds went
right out to look for a hole in the
ground to stick their embarrassed heads
into: as for John’s lawyers, they deserve
credit not only for their legal equivalent
ofa hole in onc, but for their final hole-
some comment that John's was, indeed,
a landmark case.

Call of the Wild: An alert correspond-
cnt spotted the following eveopening ad
in the "Personal" column of Saskaiche
wan's Saskatoon Stav-Phocnix—Single

AFTER HOURS

Working Girls, you can't believe it until
you've seen it! Call Mr. Morrison, 662-
5891, lor further information."

Plans
enue, so help us, to m:
uct called “Arf
lor by Name

dison Av-
ket a new prod-
the Dog Food Dogs Ask

brewing on M

A Texas correspondent informs us
that the state legislature. several sessions
ago, debated an anti-Peeping Tom bill
for which the lawmakers proposed three
exceptions: one-eyed peepers, peepers
over 50 years of age and members of the
legislature.

Among the ground rules at a golf

course in. Nairobi. Kenya, we are told.
is one stating that "a ball dying less
th ien. yards from a lion need not be

played.

Apuly yelept hostelry located. within
five minutes’ driving distance of Skid-
more College. in New York's Saratoga
Springs: The Playmore Motel. which ad-
vertises special "student rates" in the
school newspaper.

To Milwaukee's county
mission go ow congratulations for the
novel interpretation. of public service
involved in its decision, a few months
go, to close all ice-skating rinks, ski
tows and toboggan slides “because of
cold. weather."

park com-

Armchair students
may find food for the
ng ad from the "Wanted" column of
Halifax, Nova Scotia's Chronicle-Herald:
Will pay cash for unfriendly watchdog,
canesword and chastity belt, medium
Box 2900, Chronicle-Herald.

of Krafft-Ebing
it in the follow-

size.

Fruits of Technology, Peckaboo Divi-
An advertisement in One, à mag

sion:

zine for homosexuals, offers. nincinch
replicas of The Sleeping Satyr—classic
Greek statue of a young chap snooz
au naturel. The ad tells us that the
figure is a precise replica of the 2900.
year-old original. “Only the magnetized,
detachable fig leaf is new,” the
copywriter coyly,

adds

We share the concern of the Army
oficial who announced. according to
The Philadelphia Inquirer, ihat "an
1 of U.S

marijuana.

arming number

troops were

not taking

Note seen by à spy on a women’s dor-
mitory door at George Washington
University: "Call me at seven A.M. It is
necessary that D get up at seven. Keep
knocking until 1 answer. Try again at
ten.”

Our Canadian listening post reports
this latest entry from north of the
border in the cigarettes-are-really-good-
Tor-vou sweepstakes. A Toronto firm
candidly calling itself The More or Less
Honest Manufacturing Company is issu-
ing a new cig named “Less” with this
captivating sales slogan: “I's worth
more to get Less.” Dedicated believers
in competitive free enterprise, we si

gest the prompt formation of another
outfit called The Less and Less Honest

Manufacturing Company, to produce a
cigarette called "Least," with the rather
obvious hard-sell slogan: “They give you
a new Least on life.

Toy riders will be dismayed to lea
that persons apprehended in Ohio w

their fect sticking out of the

z window of

a moving auto are subject to amest

The inexorable advance of the m
chine age was underscored for us recent
ly by a book entitled Computers: The
Machines We Think With. by D. S. Hal
acy, Jr which begins with the observa-
tion that “While you are reading this

PLAYBOY

sentence, an electronic computer is per-
forming three million mathematical op-
erations!” While not as assertive, i
dust jacket informs us: “As you are read-
ing this sentence, an electronic computer
is performing [our billion mathematical
operations."

THEATER

The Repertory Theater of Lincoln
Center, while boasting that it is non-
profit
on the market pli
succeeded in being
. M that weren't enough
ired its internal squabbles in pub-
ising the buck. The

nt is, ap-
propriately enough, the staging of the
c comedy about hypocrisy, Mo-
s Tertuffe—the last play of its second
Those most responsible for the
success are newcomers to the Repertory,
expressly added for this production
islator Richard Wilbur or Wil-
liam Ball and. performers Sada Thomp-
son, Joyce Ebe
Michael O'Sulliva
new but faithful
Moliére did. The direction is inventive
without being frantic. Best of all, O'Sul-
livan, as Tartule, the double-dealing,
woman-chasing, dirty old religious fraud,
ves an outragcously comic performance,
using every part of his strange
from his splayed feet to his pipe-cleaner
fingers. His head resembles
an apoplectic lion, with stringy
dewlipped lips and purple face, a
something is constantly chok
girl,” he sni

ECT E
FRIENDLY PERSUASION!

ndkerchief delicately into her décolle-
He is a guest in Orgon's house, but
for his hosts wife (Salome Jens) he has

hospitable intentions of h
portswear for swingers— t à
Sportswear for swing pious, but I'm human, too." he an

by Mr. Wrangler! “University nounces, smiting his concave chest and
Style” slacks in combed cotton pursuing her around a table, unbuttoi
Ultra Gabardine. Completely ing as he runs. Tartuffe plays Orgon for

Mr. Wrangler

omini can" a cuckold and a fool, which should make
Out of size, Na- — | Orzon's predicament at least as ridicu

never to shrink out of size. lous as Tartufle's. The failing of this
tural, black, black/ olive. Sizes production—a minor failing, all things
28 to 38. About $5. considered—is that Larry Gates! Orgon
is not very funny, merely pitiable. It is

Plaid poplin sport jacket in

oO cll
Galey & Lord water-repellent nao Si bi

sing. makes the clownish

all Tartuffe's show,

bent on hell r

combed cotton. Scotchgard" fin- most of it. At the ANTA Washington
ish prevents spots and stains. Square, 40 West 4th Street.
Washable, too. Blue, copper, .
green, red. Sizes S-M-L-XL. Tiny Alice is Edward Albce's attempt
About $7 to write a big play. The sets are monu- CL 2294/CS 9094 -
3 mental: a cardinal's lushly ov

Lots more Mr. Wrangler garden, the cnormous h ON
sportswear to choose from, too! rooms of a majestic castle. 7 : COLUMBIA
Nr. Wrangler, Empire State clude such elegant stylists as Sir John RECORDS
Building, New York, N.Y. 10001. Gielgud and Irene Worth, The dialog is [e

lofty and lyrical, more in the manner of

°Stereo

DELAS

Applause is the quickest way fo
an Irishman's heart, Especially
when the applause comes from
other Irishmen. So when the
Clancys and Tommy Makem

stood on the stage of old
Belfast's Ulster Hall last
August, they fairly reeled with
the ovation they got.
Surrounded by their own, they
sang as men sing only when
they are having the time of
their lives. They sang the
songs both they and their
audience love—like “Maid

of Fife” and “Lament for
Brendan Behan.” This was
not jus! a performance—i! was
a triumph of mutual delight.
And you can enjoy it all on
the Clancys’ newest album,

Recorded Live in Ireland. Go
ahead. Have yourself a bash.
THE CLANCY BROTHERS
AND TOMMY MAKEM

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PLAYBOY

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Virginia Woolf than Who's
Virginia Woolf? And the
ject is man and
Albee for ambition, for ima
novelty, for stretching the li
theater and for considerable talent. But
the problem remains that Tiny Alice is
too big, or at least it conjures up morc
than it can cope with. Albe . has
tied to construct nothing less than à
metaphysical melodrama, The melodra-
ma, or mystery play, concerns a Miss Al-
ice (Miss Worth), the richest lady in the
world, and probably the most decadent,
who offers to donate $100,000,000 to the
Church, on one condition. Julian (Sir
John), nocent, and a lay brother,
must make the arrangements for the be-
quest—whieh means, in Miss Alice's won
derland, that she expects to swap the
money for the man. The intricacies of
the temptati
myster
confusir

Afraid of

d it is suspenseful even when
The stage is chockablock with

a massive model of the
ge things going on insidi
oke in the chapel. There is even
hint thar there may be a tiny
side the model (although, perh:
the Tiny Alice) and an even ti
ide that. Castles stles and levels
upon levels. but Albee leaves most of the
riddles unsolved. ll
ble. he is sw tod, tha
Ju

lor nothing.

At his most
ig th
an sacrifices his faith, and his life,
All is sham. In the end,

e is no

Miss Alice and her strange allies, a bur-
ler n

med Butler and a satanic lawyer,
als. They are merely
us of Julian's fate—perhaps
es themselves. But some of the
iisleading, and much
physis is murky—which
makes Tiny Alice less an artistic success
than a seasonal conversation piece. At
the Billy Rose, 208 West 4Ist Street.

MOVIES

Sylvia is a semisuspense picture that is
suspenseful, in which Carroll Baker
gets raped somewhat. less wildly than

in Something Wild), waylaid, beaten
and otherwise maltreated. Ma
haris, a private eye in sunny. Cal,
is hired by rich Peter Lawford. look

ing lumpy, to get the facts on a poet
ess whom Lawlord pl
of whose background he knows n
È
pro from
vended her

“forced” her,

s to marry but
Ma
out the info that she was a
sburgh who wended and
way, after her stepfather
from Mexico to. Manhat
tan; but even on her back she always
had her eyes on the st AL last.
through a lile blackmail after she is
u ud-blued by a customer, she in
vests her money wisely and retires to Eu-

s mouse

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PLAYBOY

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directs t0 suit,
which is to say, unsuitably.

jerker upd

Banana Peel is the name of a race horse
that has nothing to do with the plot—
which sets the cone for this C
farce of finagle with Jeanne Moreau
Jean-Paul Belmondo. They are
married pair who join forces to fl
couple of fellows who robbed her father.
This gives a vestige of vendetta to t
otherwise highly immoral, hiply hi
ious comedy ol crookery. Sense is not its
strong point; there is just enough. logic
to glue the story joints together as the
pair proceed from a plot to sell the
on an island olf the Normandy coast to a
race-track ruse that gives the horselaugh
to a heavily loaded heavy. Bas
novel by the American Cha
this gay Gallic gallop does what every
lightfingered flick ought (0 do: It can't
rely on character or content, so it keeps
the pace peppy. Miss Moreau is more-au-
less perfect. Belmondo, though not qu
as skilled, holds his own admirably. Gert
Frobe, better known as Goldfinger, mad-
ly fingers gold in this one, too, as a voi
cious victim of the pair. Marcel Ophuls
has directed with a dafliness that. suits
this comedy of swindle: It's con but not
forgotten

A Rage to Live deals with a dame who
has a rage to love. In John O'Hara's big
best seller, Grace Caldwell was a woman
whose busy sex life relleered her vitality
and life hunger, her society and its mor
al mood. In John T. Kelley's screenplay
she is a girl who discovers a streak of
nymphomania in herself, tries to con
quer it, marries a man. she loves, can't
resist her impulses, and drives away her
husband. Thus the novel's auempt to

ace may ; de
mingling without "offend,
needn't be a clinical psycholo
order to see that this versior
obvious attempt to slip past the censor a
3 babe who's busy in the bou
ase (wow!) che actual
The story, like the heroi
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auman either doesn't
now what's credible or doesn't care.
y true touch is supplied by Beth-

el Leslie as a w who cheats s
by insisting that she's being cheated on.
How to Murder Your Wife proves that the
old jokes are still n the best
ones. It's hard to audeville
wheeze about the terrors of marriage
thats been left unsaid in this pot-
pourri of Technicolor sight gags and
one-liners. But producer-writer George
Axelrod knows his business serves
up all of the elderly japes with a style
and relish that make this new Jack
Lemmon farce one of the few really
Iunny films to come out of Hollywood
this year. Lemmon plays a top cartooi
suip artist, a buck-loaded. bachelor, w
a terrific Manhattan town house, He
ways acts out his her i

goes t0 a boozy
Jtalian blonde dish (Virna Lisi) pops
out of a huge cake. Smashed and smit-
ten, he marries her that night, regrets it
next morning. T-T walks out Wite,

walking in, loves to do two things all the
time; the other one is to stuff. Jack's
paunch with Lemmon longs for
his lost d his valet. He has

switched to a family strip that rellects his
new life, and uses it to blow off steam.
The strip hero murders the strip wife;
and the real wife disappears, Lemmon is
vd for murder in a sequence th
Eddie Mayeholl, as Lemmon's law-
yer, a chance to show olf his fime talent
for broad buffoonery. Jack, as always,
makes comedy look c.

Ta
and when the
her up with soft-focus lens and inlated
s also cutely comic.

Like many war films, The Train starts
taut and true; but the further it goes,
the more movie mishmash it picks up,
until the wip becomes a fictional free-
forall, The wain itself is made up of a
swing of French freight cars loaded with
priceless paintings from Paris. In the
very last days of the Occupation, a Ger-
es 10 get the paintings to
any. His real reason is love of
them: he gets official approval because
he pleads their value. He has to fight the
subtle sabotage of the French railroad
workers who—despite the death penalty
—have been nibbling at Nazi communi-
ions. RR official Burt Lancaster is
head of a group of the Resistance who
set to work to see that the train is de-
layed and rerouted until the Allies ar-
rive. There is a clutch of clever ruses,

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and for the first of the two hours there

can keep
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tied on doggedly one after
become conscious of the fact that it’

y of spine tingling. But nobody's
gling when the plot
adventures are
nother, We

Men who
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darks to brisk brights, but Scofield, English stig Ty

cruel as the colonel, and John
fark or tight, with

ra
heimer directs with lots of skill but little
&

big-budget film and they have to keep
The Train running for two hours. As we
might have known, it ends up with Burt
the sole survivor of his group, saving the

singlehanded. And wounded in
et. Burt works as hard as ev
nne Moreau, in a couple of s

are full
of surprises!

respect for reality and brevity.

Hush . . . Hush, Sweet Charlotte is another
chilling killing for Bete Davis as she
goes the way of all goose flesh. The

question What Ever Happened to Baby
Jane? was answered by Dead Ringer,

which was

ath than poetry
Bu H... is the work of Robert
Aldrich, who le IWEHTBR]?, so BD
comes out OK. This one, set in a mossy
mansion in Louisiana bayou country, is
about old nutty Bene who lives alone

with her devoted servant without any-

one ever dropping around to ask how's
bayou? In the prolog we see her as a girl

(with her face e
disappointed by the

iderately sh.
arricd. loy

lowed),
- who

his head by a meat cle
whole film BD lives under the shadow of
the crime, and the shadows deepen with
the arrival of cousin Olivia de Havilland
who, with Dr. Joseph Cotten, tries to get
the nut out of her shell of a house be-

present a
scares, though Aldrich relies on low
ing (even on sunny days) to sus
the e atmosphere when the plot
thins. Agnes Moorehead has a ba
ing around as a blow
Mary Astor does a vignette
chopped lover's weak
blood, the Greek
make it all
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d willful heiress Deborah Caughlin
wadi Kelly Rojack. It tikes our
ly one chapter to her oll
agulnion, and a shove from the
wdow to simulate suicide). The nar
ics with Roj arrest
a Raskolnikovlike psycho
with the fuzz—except
t Mailers man always wins, whether
in outwitting cops, beating up
studs armed with switchblades or ba
ing women to near death on the
bed. The book could appropriately
be called The Naked and the Dead,
lor it is a war novel of sex. The hero
narrator reports with relish of his
heiress wile - had
been a wat, . most
ol them broke
was bright
oped the ch
1 for

logical fenc

I said to
‘Ja? She

her out of | knew not w
shook her head. ‘No, no, she went on,
‘ja, don't stop, ja.” There w
vate pleasure in plugg
"The signal for his nest sexual battle is
given by his new opponent, a blonde
nightclub. sing m feeling pretty
mean myself,’ Cherry said. It was in that
slow that we made ready to go to bed.”
urally our hero is weary after these
d at the ook he goes

to the
id of course wins there,
. without further adieu, he an-
nounces his intention to take off for
where he "friend. in
and fre “on to Yuca
?

hours, Rojick has indubitably earned
his rest and recuperation from the w
bed, which, sad to say, has been more ex
hausting than exhi both far
the narrator and for the reader. Mailer’s
ior gets plenty of fight from his
but not much fun.

Herman Wouk's Dent Step the Cari-
val (Doubleday) concerns an in
lude im the life of Norman. Pa

a middle- Broadway press
most of his career
between. Lindy's and
s hall. Herzog, half Pal Joey:
lande In a mo
ment of good-natured idiocy, prompted
in part by :

The island, Amerigo,
Americanized

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g, Fourth of July,
d the 1est—
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the numerous religious holidays. . . -
it seems a new, harmless and
tly endless car To Paper

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man it is something of a nightmare.
The reader will find it lighthearted and
playful, which is fine, since all Wouk
and no play has made Herman a dull
boy of late. In his other novels, thi
are generally bad but not hopeless: in
this book things are hopeless—but. not
bad. Paperman—harvied by tropical
earthquakes, enormous debts and his

own bridled libido—remains a comic
figure because we know he will survive
By not taking cither P:
a change, himself too seriously, Herman

perman or, for

Wouk has cast up a pleasant uopical
baublc.

Recounting the barbarities of past
es, a social historian a century hence
will tell of how the insane were chained
to walls in the Middle Ages and of how
drug addicts in 20th Century America
were uanslormed imo criminals. The
latest. addition to the increasing vol
ume of volumes on the increasing prob-
lem of addiction, The Addict in the Street
(Grove Press), is of singular value. Not
sociological or literary or philosophical
or scientific, the book presents instead
the raw voices of the addicts them-
selves. Out of more than. 100 hours
of tape recordings by Ralph Tellerteller
of the Henry Street Settlement on New
York's Lower East Side, reporter-novelist
Jeremy Larner has selected a series of
amtobiographies that make vivid the
despair, the lock-step rhythms and the
"rigid isolation" of the junkie’s life. On
onc level, the book contains. considera
ble information about how drugs and
moncy for drugs are obtained, about
prison and hospital life, and about char
acteristic family patterns in the back
grounds of addicts. On a more. visceral
level, the book forces us to look directly
at the lives that America’s punitive ap-
proach to addiction has truncated. Even-
tually, this country will have to adopt
the British system of treating addicts as
medical patients. But in the meantime.
we still have our 20th Century scape
goat, the junkie. And in The Addict in
the Street, he again asks, with small
hope of immediate response, that reason
rather than the Puritan ethic be applied
to his hang-up.

Some literary talents—Rimbaud,
quit when they're more or less ahead;
others, like Stephen Crane, are fortunate
enough to die young. Then there's Irwin
Shaw. Mavi mot only survived. but
flourished since his dramatic appearance
in the 1930s, Irwin's Shavian dilemma
has been as follows: The further he has
strayed from his fiuc, carly short stories,
the more money he’s made. Us news,
then, that he has left off spinning out
mainsueamy liberal — editorialsin-the:
lormofnovels. in favor of something
closer 10 the real thing in Voices of a
Summer Dey (Delacorte Press). It isn't a
successful voyage all the way, but its a
welcome remembrance of good fiction

past. Ben Federov—successful contractor,
married, two kids—drives home to Long
Island one hot Saturday and decides to
watch a pickup baseball game at the lo
cal high school field. He sprawls in the
sun among the mostly deserted benches,

eyes his 13-year-old boy playing center
field, and thinks back to his own ball
it summer camp during the

playing day
Depression. "That starts it. He remem
bers other. things, selected scenes dipped
out of the flow of his life, A married
woman, an attractive one, sits down next

to him and watches her son goofing up
field. She and Federov talk
They've been lovers but now they're
friends, they and their spouses. Their
conversation is low-pitched, sophisticat
ced. r Which touches off Federov's
memories of this old affair, chen others,
Then he goes home to dinner. Is
that cnough? Yes and no. No, because
the bascball-game framework is prosaic
not stimulating enough to produce the
kind of rich reverie we're presented with
here: You can't help feeling that Federov
would more likely have dropped off to
sleep on his bench. This lends a forced
quality to the introduction of each flash
back, which ultimately defeats the book
But it is enough, for now, that Irwin
Shaw has written an atmospheric,
wnploued novel that takes him part
of the way back to where he came from,
to that sensitive depicter of mood and
interacting feelings who has dazzled us
with his short stories. Perhaps next time
out he'll make it all the way home.

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"Who Cen I Turn To” ond Other Songs from
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The Troublemaker (Avi) has several

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movie debut in the film, China's ana-
tomical auribues are displayed to €x
cellent advantage on the LP's cover.

When the Feeling Hits You! / Sammy Davis
Meets Sam Butera & The Witnesses (Reprise)
is a high-voltage hocdown from begin-
ning to end. On
such as the oper

n up-tempo number
ag tide tune, the manic
Butera men are hard pressed to keep up
with steam-heated Dav When the
pace changes to ballads and torch songs
such as Don't Cry Joe
new-found friends segue smoothly into
the mood of the moment. A toast to the
two Sams.

Another nifty from
«y Wilson Show! (Capitol), vi
ut Grove, is electrically

E k
sponds

vocally to the audi
tion. On the bill The Saga of Bill
Bailey, Don't Take Your Love from Me
and the Duke Ellington rouser Im Be-
ginning to See the Light. Whatever the
number, Nancy strikes our fancy.

Bossa nova is obviously here to stay.
The pseudo sounds have long since dis-
appeared; what's left is generally a
Softly / Luiz Bonfá and His Guitar
(Epic) is bossa nova at its quietly per-

e best. Bonfá, one of its pio-
rs, plays a dozen Brazilian ballads

1 estimable fashion. The Sound of Ipa-
nema / Paul Winter with Corlos Lyra (Colum
) features the young American alto-sax

eamed with Brazilian com-
poser-guitarist-vocalist Lyra and a Rio
rhythm section in a session recorded in
io de Janciro. The tunes are all Lyra's
nd ali lyrical—a superb set. Unher
alded but exciting is The Boy from Ipanema
Beach / Menescal (Kapp), performed. by a
youthful Brazilian sextet (they range in
ge from 15 to 20) led by guitarist Ro-
berto Menescal, The boys have infused
the native rhythms with a funky Ameri
can jazz sound which falls delightfully
on the car.

An ebullient brace of Buddy Greco
albums provides a spectrum of splendid
sound. On Stage! and Modern Sounds of
Henk Williams (both on Epic) displ

the multifaceted Mr. Greco in. div
si

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Dah is cnough to make On Stage! a win
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of She Loves Me, Baubles, Bangles and
Beads and The Best Is Yet to Come to
give it the stamp of success. The coun
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much at home in that unusual bag. You
Win Again, Jambalaya and Your Cheat
in’ Heart delivered sans iwang are the
high spots of a hip country outing

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The only birth-control pills on the
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You have no id

ble riavnoy is
just about a ye:

the amount of trou-
ng me. It all started
when my fiancée
asked if she could see an issuc of rrAvnov
I had in the house. I noticed no danger
signs whatever and thought that she
would enjoy the magazine, since she is a
fun-loving girl who seems to enjoy every-
thing life has 10 offer. Well, she hasn't
been the same since. Not only has she
decided. that your entire m. c is

filthy, but she put away her two-piece
bathing
because

suit, refused to see The Prize
of a low-cut dress shown in a
nd is the only girl I know who
did not enjoy Tom Jones. When we are
alone together she approaches sex per-
fectly normally; however, should I but
speak the magic word—"riaynoy"—I
ht as well get lost for at least a week.

Perhaps most surprising is the fact that
in iwo years of courting, no other
differences of opinion have arisen be-

tween us. Just recently she discovered
that I still read rravsoy despite her
voiced disapproval, and she has now laid
down the Iaw that E st choose between
her and rraysov. This scems a bit ab-
surd, but the hell of it is that she is scri
ous. H nothing changes her mind, ] will
put rravuoy aside; but I keep wondering
if there isn't some way of having my
cake and cating it, too.—L. S., Wilming:
ton, Ohio.

Humble pic is what you'll be cating if
you let this cookie dictate your reading
tastes. Totally aside from whether she
appreciatcs vLaywoy or not, her high
handed dictum at this stage of the game
should be taken as an amen of future
problems—unless you make it crystal
clear that the qualities you seek in a
mate do not include those of a censor.

Icy 1e been picking up the local
M station on my stereo record player.
Even though the sound is faint, it does
interfere with the enjoyment of my rec-
ords. The volume, balance and tone con-

trols don’t seem to have any effect on it
at all. Could you please explain this phe-
nomenon

Fontana, Wisconsin.

The trouble is probably caused by
alternating-current lines running paral-
lel to, and too clase (0, your speaker leads
or other unshielded cables. If you can’t
separate your leads from, or make them
run at right angles to, your AG lines, use
shielded wires, twist them together, and
ground the shields. A common “cure” is
reversing your amplifiers power-cord
plug in the wall socket, but we put the
word cure in quotes because it seldom
works.

Sher and 1 were married four years
ago at the respective ages of 27 and 23.
He had been in the Navy, worked two
years, and was then a junior in med-
ical school. My salary was our sole source
of income for three yi d a neces-
sary supplement during internship. He's
now a resident, and is perfectly willing

for me to give up my job, but he's far
from willing to start a family. T think T

could hound him into granting permis-
sion, but I don't know whether I should.

1 love Shel very much, and we get
along famously. We both fly his air.
plane, and have often decided on Friday
alternoons to go to the Caribbean, New
York, etc, without worrying E
baby sitter. Of course, I've enjoyed all
this, too, but 1 want a baby. Shel thinks
this would be an “unnecessary and ex-
pensive millstone.” What do you think
would happen if I just "forgot" a few
pink pills and sprang a baby on him? Is
it possible that he'd hate it and I'd have
a little psychotic on my hands? Would
this be any better or worse than making
him angry and depressed with constant
begging? Help!—Mrs. P.Z., Atlanta,
Georgia.

While we sympathize with your desire
10 be a mother, we can also understand
your husband's wish not to be tied down,
especially since he’s recently complet
ed the rigorous medical school grind. It
would be unthinkable for you to have a
baby without his consent. Not only might
this action be harmful to the child, but
its dishonesty would assuredly implant a
seed of malignancy into what seems to
be a healthy marriage. Ordinarily, we'd
advise talking the problem out, but
you've obviously had plenty of conversa-
lions on this subject. Why don’t you
drop it and wait a couple of years?
(You'll still be under 30.) Let Shel enjoy
his freedom for a while, and try to enjoy
it with him. Relieved oj your constant
pressure, and in a more fluid financial
position, he may then change his mind.

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Indeed we do: One teaspoonful sugar
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one egg white to cach two drinks, one
drop cach of vanilla, orange, clove and
cinnamon. extracts. Beat the egg white
into the sugar syrup and extracts, then
shake with ice and brandy. Stain into
a collins glass and fill glass with equat
parts of sweet cider and milk, then dust
with nutmeg.

PLAYBOY

BAe a dass reunion, 1 became enam-
charming young lady who has
been going with one of my best college
friends. She and I spent most of the

dancing with cach other and
definite impre: that she
€ to sce me again. My prob-

"st about
re without
nd:—P. W., Fair-

lem is this: How might I h
dating this adorable creat

ollending a dose f
field, lowa.

One solution would be for you to de-
cide which yon value more, the girl or
your friend. If the former, go ahead and
date her; if the latter, forget her. An-
other solution would be to ask him
how he'd feel about your dating the
girl. He just might be on the verge of
kissing her off. in which case you'd have
2 the girl and your buddy's friendship.

EMi; hitch in the service will soon be
up, and Tam ry over which
of two roads to take. Originally, 1 had
tended to obtain a college education,

r. but several of my buddies have suggested.
IE GLOW 1 | s: rel i a ede shoot ied
set... NOIL WV o They point out that I will save time and
3 money this way and still be able to land
a good job. What do you think?—$. D.,

3 Seattle. Washington.

— -— 4

vocational education will prepare
yon [or a specific trade where the start-
salary may be relatively high but the
future somewhat bleak. A college degree
will open doors to a number of jobs with
high potential—in terms of work salis-
faction, wages and stalus. But the starting
y may be quite low. Since a college
education increasingly is becoming a pr
requisite to all but blue-collar jobs, we
think that any man who has the aptitude
should try to obtain a degree.

sparkling Champale is like
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(except champagne!)

CHAMPALE gives a champagne
glow to any occasion—sparkles
a meal, a moment, or a mid
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pennies more than beer. Buy
Champale whereverbeeris sold.

W will be moving from New York 10
Chicago, in connection with a new job,
next July. Never having moved out of
the state before, a couple of questions
about the transportation of my house.
hold goods occur to me. First, how do I
get the best price? (In New York intra-
s charge you

city moving, some compan
by the hour, others give you a flat rate—
ivs not casy to decide which will come
out better.) Next, 1 wonder whether to

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tip the movers when the job is com-
pleted. If so, how much?—L F., New
York, New York.

We think it's a good idea to have at
least three movers compete for your job.
This way, you can best learn what is
involved, and can decide which com-
pany seems most reliable. Youll find,
however. that household. moves across
state lines are rigidly controlled by the
Interstate Commerce Commission. Rates
are based on weight and cannot legally
wary among Tipping. in this
line of business (unlike many others). is
not vequisite; it's a plus for superior
service. If that's what you've given, ten
dollars a man would be decent for a

movers

long-distance mo:

My roommate and 1 are both upper-
classmen in college. Having lived togeth-
er in the same dormitory for the past
two and a half years, we have be-
come more than casually fond of each
other, and have, frankly, had phys-
ical contacts, even though we both
continue to date the campus coeds.
Knowing your broadaminded views on
matters sexual, we would like to have
your opinion on the following: Do you
continuance of thi:
ionship bodes ill for the future?—
and B. W., Chadron, Nebrask:
If you fellows have already de-

LG
Yes
cided to continue swinging from the

other side, nothing we say will deter you
although we certainly mean to by,
since our broad views on matters sexual
do not include. the advocacy of homo-

sexuality. If your minds ave still open, we
think you should consider Kinsey's well-
known statistic that 37 percent of the
male population experience homosexual
activity al some lime in their lives, with-
out necessarily becoming lifetime homo-
sexuals. You are probably going through
a phase common to postadolescence, a
period in which sexuality is high and
during which the combination of affec-
tion and proximity in an all-male en
vironment (your dormitory) often leads
to sexual involvement. These factor
combined with the jact that you have
already spent two and a half years to-
gether in the same room, indicate that
you've been giving temptation the upper
hand. , that nullify
these conditions, first by changing room.

We su

gest you
mates, then by accelerating your coed
dating until you're both firmly con
vinced that girls are not just soft boys.

B have a problem that Em sine isn't un
usual, but its perplexing. In about a
month I'm going to be the best man at a
wedding. What exactly are my responsi
bilities? While l'm glad to help my friend
t married. Fm wondering if being best

i take all the fun out of it—

am wi
A. D., Charlottesville, Vir
On the contrary, you've got the best

seat in the house. You'll attend the

bachelor party beforehand and the vc 1 fy T
ception pue. youll get 10 be first Satisfy your smoking taste
with the champagne, and to enjoy such s. 1 P H
nuptial perjuiates as kissing the bride | With MADISON Little Cigars
all without having to marry anybody. ] b "

You: will aue. mar, dient ...even without inhaling!
and the success of the wedding may de
pend on how efficiently you dispatch
them. First of all, you'll see that the
ushers are suitably and uniformly
dressed for the occasion. (in accordance
with the wishes of the bride's family)
and are clearly instructed and rehearsed
on their churchly functions. You'll make
the arrangements for the bachelor
dinner, loo, if there is one. You will
also be the one who helps the groom
dress for the ceremony and reminds him
to tuck the marriage license into a con-
venient pocket. Above all, you must get
him to the church on time—at least
half an hour before the ceremony—
and while you're offering him last.
minute moral support in the vestry,
double-check your own pockets to make
sure you've got the ring and the fee for
the ceremony (in a plain envelope
which you should slip discreetly 10 the
officiating clergyman immediately after
the vows). At the reception, though it
isn't de ur, you'll want to help k M

keep the champagne flowing and the —
reception line moving smoothly past
the newlyweds, You'll be expected to
arrange for such details of departure as LITTLE CIGARS

plane tickets, car keys, and the like. And e Satisfying cigar taste e Slim, trim cigarette size e Genuine Cork tip

you'll be the man who stashes the
bride's and groom's luggage safely in
their gelaway car, and takes care oj
the groom's postnuptial quick change
into street clothes. If you're a first-
V- A
INI

drawer best man, you'll also see to it
that there are a chilled bottle of bubbly
and two glasses in the car—to which you
will later clear a path jor the bride and
groom. And one last duty: Keep your
mouth shut about where they're going to
spend the night.

Five always been taught that if a fellow
likes you enough he'll call first. Does this
hold truc even when a couple has
a heated argument?—Miss J.C,
Bulalo, New York.

We think the vule you've been taught
went out with jillerbugging; discard it.
1j the guy means something to you, pick
up the phone and try to re-establish your
connection.

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All reasonable questions—from fash-
ion, food and drink, hi-fi and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette
—will be personally answered if the
wriler includes a stamped, self-addressed
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 232 E. Ohio
Street, Chicago, Hlinois 60611. The most
provocative, pertinent queries will be
presented on these pages cach month.

|
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PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK
BY PATRICK CHASE

THERE'S NO BETTER TIME to visit the Em-
erald Isle than in June, before the tour
ist fow begins chill
northern winter's gone, when the salm-
on and sea trout are begging to be taken
and the classic Irish Derby is under way

Headquarters for your visit should be
Ireland's capital city, and you'll be treat-
ed in grand old style at Dublin's swank
Gresham in the business arca or at the
ming Russell (which houses one of
Ircland's most elegant dining rooms—
blue trout a specialty) on St. Stephen's
Green, Here you'll be only a short stroll
along urce-lined surects from the city's
pubs—]Jammet's (also a superb restau-
ram), Davy Byrne’s (1 cosmopolitan pro
totype of the Irish pub), the Pearl and
the Palace (both meeting places for Dub.
lin's journalists and literati). Worth-
while restaurants—to name just a few—
include the Red Bank (for seafood), the
Dolphin Hotel (for steaks and grills) and
the Georgian Room (for background
music and dancing)

Although there are hardly any night
clubs in Dublin, you'll be able to sup
plement your afterdark pub-crawling
with visits to the Abbey Theater for
drama and opera, the Gate for modern
Irish plays and the Pike and Globe for
experimental theater. A fascinating way
10 see the city would be to utilize Joyce's
Ulysses as a Baedeker; but, lacking time,
you can settle for some of Dublin's high
points: golf at Portmarnock or the Royal
Dublin; Grafton Street, for its unpar

id alter the

cha

alleled men's shops; ‘Trinity College
Library with its illuminated Eighth
Century manuscripts; the homes of

Shaw, Sheridan and Joyce; the General
Post Office, site of the famed Easter
Monday uprising; and Dublin Caste,
where the Heraldic Museum will trace
your family uve for a modest fee

Not to be overlooked in Dublin are
the Hashing-eyed colleeus who, like their
Scandinavian counterparts, have lately
shown a preference for American visi-
tors. Irish girls are friendly and can of
ten be met with a broad smile and a
cheery hello; places where informal self
introductions are the custom include ihe
Meuopolitan Dance Hall and the var-
ious tearoom attached to
Here, singly and
off after an afternoon. or evening at the
flicks and ave rarely offended by the ami-
able approach of a visiting Yank.

For a taste of [reland's coi

ovie houses.

1 pairs, the girly stop

ry hospi-
tality, allow time for dinner and an
overnight stay at a rural inn—the superb
Great Southern at Parknasilla on Ker
ry's windswept coast, or the Butler Arms
at Waterville (in the heart of great hunt-

ind fishing territory) for its country

club atmosphere and superior kitchen.
Visit the luxuriously restored castles at
Ballynahinch and Cong. The lauer (Ash-
ford Castle). one of Ireland's finest, sits
amid hundreds of acres of green lawns
ad lakes stocked with fish. If you're
driving, be sure to visit the shadowed
counuy of Galway. the Cliffs of Moher
l the Boyne Valley with its relics of
carly inhabitants,

On the Continent, a diverting week or
two can be spent in the Swiss mountains.
You'll be in the company of Europe's
young nobility and the highly
femmes of the international jet set if
you stop at places such as Po

for swimming in the Stazersee, golf at
the I8-hole Engadine
trout fishing and horseback riding £
some 100 miles of mountain nails—or

Lenzerheide, where music, dancing and
gemütlich Hloorshows brighten evenings
at the Grand Hótel Kurhaus and the
Schweizerhof.

Other luxurious. accommodations in
clude the Quellenhof in its huge park at
Bad Ragaz, small but smart Chesa Gr
chuna at Klosters, the superb Schloss

hotel at Pontresina, the Palace and
Suvretta-House at Saint-Morite with
their complere sports facilities, the
deluxe Waldhaus at Vulpera and the
Kurhaus at Tarasp. There's modest
gambling at most resorts, but for the
greater challenge of high stakes, iUs a

ano, followed

short drive south to L
by a ten-minute launch ride into the
Halian enclave of Campione. Here
chemin de fer and roulene are played
with a 5500 maximum.

June provides perfect weather [or a
it to Mediterran
ic seaports: a thoroughly en

sur n, Aegean
and Adi

joyable way to do it is on a cruise from

Venice. Most of the traveling is done at
night, with departures set kne enough
for a full measure of roistering evenings
ar seaside taverns and cafés. A typical
19-day jaunt calls at Corfu, Piracus (with
Athens), the. historically
Rhodes and My
konos, Haifa (for a tour of Isracl) and
Dubrovnik, a magnificent. Yugosl
Leach resort. Includi
tween Milan a
in the city of canals at cach end of the

a side trip to
rich iskinds of Crete,

s rail transfer be

Venice, and. two days

cruise, the wb for the whole bit comes
to Jess than $100 on the Greek liner
Fiesta. Other cruises run to Egypt and
Lebanon by way of Greece and the
^ to Istanbul, Odessa
(with an optional side trip to Moscow)
and Yala on the Black Sca

For further information on any of the
above, write to Playboy Reader Serv-
ice,232 E. Ohio St., Chicago, Hl. 60611.

n Islands, or

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PLAYBOY

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Triumph TR-4. Triumph Spitfire.

TR-4, above left, is a Sports Car Club
of America National Class Champion
for the third straight year. All four
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Rack-and-pinion steering gives instant
response. Low center of gravity and
genuine sports car suspension tame the

wildest curves. And mammoth disc
brakes doggedly refuse to falter or
fade. No wonder the TR-4 is America's
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Spitfire, right, is another real sports
car. (And another SCCA Champion,
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Outmaneuvers any other car with her
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brakes and sturdy four-wheel independ-

There are two things to consider before buying a real sports car.

ent suspension. She's a swinger: longer,
lower, wider, faster than anything in
her price league. $2199*.

(How about the availability of
Triumph services? No problem. Parts
are available through a nationwide
network of factory warehouses,
distributors and dealers.)

TTR- or Spitfire. Consider carefully.

THE PLAYBOY FORUM

an interchange of ideas between reader and editor
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy”

PASTOR'S PRAISE

Let me take this opportunity to ex-
press my appreciation for (wo items ir
the January 1965 issue of PLaywoy. I
think your interview with The Rever-
end Martin Luther King is onc of the
best that 1 have read. It gives insight to
the problems being faced amd issues a
challenge to the futurc.

Your Playboy Philosophy Trialogue
n with Father O'Connor, Rever-
y and Rabbi Tanenbaum is
something that needs to be read by more
“church pe

I thought it very
d stimulating. The philosophies ex-
pressed were greatly appreci
William Grunden
Friendship Method
Providence, Rhode Island

ATHEISM AND MORALITY
As a humanistatheist, I appreciated
the letter of William R. Birt in the Jan-
wary Forum. Atheism simply means that
a person—alter considering all the evi
dence— "considers the universe not to be
the product of a deliberate intention" as
E. C. Vanderlaan once stated. Morality
is a completely separate subject—not the
ist dependent upon. supernaturalism.
(religion). Mr. Hefner's perception. of
this and other matters makes PLAYBOY a
most outstanding contribution to both
society and the individual
Anyone who feels that Hefner is mere-
ly obsessed with sex might remember
that Freud, too, was considered thus by
the waditionalists.
Mis. Ani D. Robertson
Reedville, V

HEFNER'S VIEW OF GOD

First let me say that I never cease to
be impressed with the continuing in-
crease in the breadth, depth and over-all
quality of your publication. 1 especially
appreciate your efloris in The Playboy
Philosophy to help our society develop a
rational, humanistic and responsible scx-
ual ethic.

] have not read the earlier install-
ments of the Philosophy and this may
explain why I wish to better understand
your views on the following matter. In
the January installment. of the Philoso-
phy Hefner stated that". . . God
us reason to triumph over instinct
choice to triumph. over conditionin:
His approach to sex has been admirably

rational and T question whether his be-
lief in God can be defended on equally
rational terms. First, it would be helpful
to know what kind of God he believes
in. Is He omnipresent, omniscient and
omnipotent? Would He exist if no hu-
man existed, or is He only part of the
wonder that is man? Would man have
any reason or freedom of choice if He
did not exist?

Lam an agnostic—one who doubts the
existence of God, but who does not rule
om the possibility of His existence. T be-
ve that a rational examination of the
evidence at this time does not support
the belief that anything resembling God.
exists. IE 1 am wrong, I would appreciate
the help of your reasoning t0 set me
straight.

I realize that if Hefner were an admit-
ted agnostic it would handicap his efforts,
to publicize a controversial viewpoint,
it would open him to even more vicious
attacks than previously. Nevertheless, I
am very much interested in knowing
where he stands on this issue.

Dennis L. Albrecht
Antioch College
Yellow Springs. Ohio

Your lack of familiarity with earlier
installments of “Philosophy” is undoubt-
edly the cause of your uncertainty, for
Hefner has made it abundantly clear
on numerous occasions and despite his
awareness of the predictable attacks you
mention—that he believes in reason as
opposed to superstition, open-ended
scientific exploration as opposed to
inflexthle dogma, But “The Playboy
Philosophy” is not concerned with the
existence or nature of God per se; for
üt is not offered as any sort of substi-
tule religion. Hefner has editorially op-
posed only those aspects of organized
religion that have tended to be suppres-
sive or attempted to exercise totalitarian
and coercive controls over secular society;
in Hefner's view, our democracy should
afford. equal freedom, protection and
opportunity to men of every religious
persuasion, be they Christian, Jewish,
Zen Buddhist, agnostic ov atheist.

THEOLOGIAN'S RESERVATIONS

1 have been reading with a great deal
of interest your Philosophy, Forum, in-
terviews and articles. They have been
e a breath of fresh air. I feel that your

n asset to one in a profes

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Traditional Talk

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sion surrounded by stuffy pictism. How-
ever, I have had some uncasincss coming
from a feeling that cluded articulation.
The feeling became focused while I read
the 20th part of The Playboy Philosophy
(January 1965). There seems to be an
odor of dogmatism and self-rightcous-
ness exuding from “mecca” in Chicago.
There seems (o be an emerging cult
complete with a "lord" and a "cod
written and unwritten. The "disciples"
seem to be quite legalistic in harmoniz-
ing their “conduct” with the “code.”
Perhaps I feel my breath of fresh ai
turning stale by a stuffy pietism in
different garb.
Reverend Donald L. Hobson
Santa. Paula, California
We cannot by any stretch of the im-
agination see how you can construe Hef-
ner’s words as either dogmatic or (in the
convenlional sense) pietistic. He has
never suggested an absolute code of
conduct or set of authoritative tenets—
which means, according to our dictionary
definition of the word,he can't be charged
with dogmatism, And certainly he’s not
guilty of the affected religiosity which is
generally associated with pietism.

EX-CHURCHMAN'S COMMENT

I have been reading pLaveoy for sever-
al years and have admired the consistent
high quality of its fiction, articles and

nels. In recent months I have been
very interested in The Playboy Philoso-
phy. partly because it parallels my own
thinking. Until April of last year I was a
priest in the Episcopal Church. I left the
priesthood and the church because my
experience h:
tional Christianity has done and is doir
more harm than good in my life and in
the lives of people I was allegedly or-
dained to serve. T feel as Hefner docs
that the attitudes e
the church are basically
nd antisexual, and therefore destructive
to human life, especially under the pres-
sures of society in this country.

My minisiry had once scemed helpful
to a number of people, but in a rather
paradoxical way from my standpoint as
a parish priest: The more whole their
lives became, the less interest they had
in the institutional church. When 1 left
the ministry I opened a counseling office
here in Atlanta, but I soon learned that
my friends, professional and. otherwise,
were no lon encouraging amd help-
ful as they had indicated they would be
1 had ceased to serve the accepted struc-
tures of church and society in an official
capacity.

This leuer is prompted by my appre-
ciation for Hefner's point of view, and
the role his Philosophy is playing in
helping to free society fr
tive presuppositions and illusions

Ralph W. Richardson, Jr.
Adanta, Georgia

d convinced me that trad

n self-destruc-

The kind of nut who wants to pick up his dates witha
new scooter instead of an old car.

The kind of nut who wants to scoot to the campus or
scoot to work without getting hung up in a traffic jam.

The kind of nut who knows that searching for a parking
space can be a real drag.

The kind of nut who's looking for the most comfortable
two wheel ride he can get.

"The kind of nut who can scoot to the beach... scoot to a
ball game... scoot to the corner for a newspaper... and

joy-ride all weekend on just about 30¢ worth of gas.
The kind of nut who knows that: if he has $324.50" today,

he can be driving a great-looking new Lambretta tomorrow.
Some nut.

Don'tbuy a two wheel vehicle until you read our free
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What kind of a nut

buys a

Lambretta?

PLAYBOY

SERMCN ON SEX

Weontpo lam writing this letter to acquaint

you with a sermon delivered by Rev
M A N | VA N | sermon was written up in the December
21, 1964, issue of Newsweek. 1 only wish
that more people in the United States

S H l Chau ae assume some responsibility for that
pecia The Mantovani pensgn. And the sehe ab that
responsibility is directly proportion-

end Dr. Frederic C. Wood, Jr., chaplain
No. 1 in |Stereo Sales. Si wae embrace this intelligent view-
limited time Sound SU ouro ate to the depth of the relationship.

of Goucher College in Baltimore. The
To relate to another person is to
Insol as the se
HELLO DOLLY - DEAR HEART
offer on ;

(and perhaps eve

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I think that this quote may be of in

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LED) Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri
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in your area. LONOON RECORDS, INC., 539-L W. 25 ST., N-

CHAPLAIN'S SERMON STIRS
GOUCHER COLLEGE STUDENTS

Baltimore (AP)—An_ Episcopal
chaplairs sermon at Goucher Col
le
prised but enthusiastic
according to the campus n
of the school for girl

In a sermon enti “Sex Within
the Created Order," the Reverend
Frederic C. Wood (old his congre-
gation that the Bible says sexuality
is good.

“There is nothing bad or dirty or
perverted about it,” he said. "It is
simply good.

He said premarital sex "can be
very beautiful,” but he could never
condone extramarital sex.

The Goucher Weekly said, "Sur-
prised but enthusiastic approval
swept the Goucher campus.
have expressed
words are the
and worth while ever
spoken in the chape

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chapl
ot to be un
ig which we

ber of dates, or as conformity to the
generalized expectations of a group."

"Ehe lesson of naturalness and hu.
mor ol sex, he said, "is that we all
sht to relax and stop feeling
uiliy sexual activities,
the :

Married. and the father of three
children, Mr. Wood, 31, said that
although premarital se
very beautiful,” it could also be irre-
sponsible if “the two parties have
not fully and openly assumed their
responsibilities to one another.

“What Tam calling for here is
simply sex within the kind of rela
tionship which marriage is intended
to symbolize and i0 afirm,” the
chaplain said.

He said he would never condone
extramarital sex, because it would
be what he called a "violation of a
covenant."

can be

Mrs. J, H. Chilir
Kaiserslautern, Germ:
Though Reverend Wood may thin
sex is good, it appears that his views
are not necessarily shaved by the admin-
istration of Goucher College. In a letter
to Goucher alumnae, dated December
19, 1964, College President’ Otto
Kraushaar “set the record straight” by
declaring that Reverend Wood's ser-
mon contained “unguarded” statements.
While defending Reverend Wood as a
“deeply religious, dedicated man,” Pres-
ident Kraushaar lamented that press cov-
erage of Wood's sermon had caused
“painful .. . damage to the reputation
of the College, its students, faculty and
alumnae.” I may be small consolation
for President Kraushaar, but in rLAYBOY'S
view, the sermon raised Goucher's repu-
tation to new heights.

A HAPPY MARRIAGE

1 » read the January
1065 issue of your excellent. magazine,
and am moved to write to you after
the letter from Nina Lindberg
entitled "Sex in Sweden

My views on sex can only be deter
ed [rom

1. My husband and I have never had
to work at our marriage, which has been
a happy one for three years.

2 We have a very happy, well-ad-
justed and lovable two-ycar.old.

3. Our love is complete in every way
because we enjoy giving pleasure to cach
other.

What is so exceptional about this?
's just that my husband and I
n our sc relationship three
ad when we did
pry there was no trauma, no psycho-
cal adjustment, and no regrets!
True, we were young and perhaps fool
hardy, but if we had it to do again. it
would be the same. My one dishearten-
wt discuss my

ave just be

fnishin;

few personal. facts

ing thought is that E c

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because our
can hint at
these ropes with close friends; however,
instead of being forthright, we are cose-
mouthed, afraid of social cc
T hope my son's generation will
a more honest system of sexual values.
(Name withheld by request)
Elizabeth, New Jersey

s without
society is so hypocritical. Ot

nonymity

ILLEGITIMACY

Alter reading The Playboy Philosophy
in your December issue, I was left with
the impresion that one point was miss-

ing (or avoided) in Hefner's discussion.
What about the illegitimate child?
Won't the sexual revolution cause an in-

case in illegitimacy?

Lam not attempting to blame rtaysoy
for the hundreds of unmarried women
uch year who find themselves pregnant
our society. However. any argument
for premarital intercourse should in
clude the answers to problems caused by
its practice. The only answer T can find
for illegitimacy is abstinence from pr
marital sexual intercourse. Do you h
another?

Robert C. Wright
Elgin, Illinois

Yes: Contraception.
SEXUAL SCAPEGOAT

In the Los Angeles Times recently
rofessor Richard Campbell of Valley
te College bl

ned the problem of
unwed motherhood on the “half-baked
ideas” of Hugh Hefner and Albert Elli
In effect. Campbell provided a scape
s the simple
great complexity. the ori
lie in social conditions
before rtavmoy and Dr,
publishing.

1i is unlikely that more than a hand-

"s unlikely th
articles. Most ol the
t illegitimacy must be
placed. on statussecking: par
tussecking fr
insist that sev

their ads 3

hors, wi
dress like adults: that. ni
“iah year-olds smoke:
yearolds learn to drive:

that 16-
and that 18-
olds mi blinded by
is, has pushed youth imo adulthood
before it is equipped with the knowl
edge and responsibility to cope with
adult problems.

Hickok M. Moon

Los Angeles, Californ

yea ry. Our society

FROM AN UNWED MOTHER
Hefner docs an excellent job of pre-

senting important questions in a very
reasonable light, and of allowing his
readers to debate these points. Too bad

more females don't read mavsoy, since
it helps in. understand

decisions about
oid ma

helps one
duc to ignorance. l'm sorry 1 didu't read
FLAYBOY soonei

An unwed mother

Omaha, Nebraska

SEX WITHOUT LOVE

The opinions expressed in Hefner's
Philosophy interest me. I am disturbed.
however, by his idea that the sexual acr
n be successfully divorced from deep
emotional exchange. This would mean
that emotional interaction is not a pre
requisite for the fulfillment of physical
desire, One should remember that there
is a definite relation between physighl de
sire and emotion—their separation quite
detracts from the mutual eflec.

George L. Stuhoenheim
Troy, New Yor

Hefner does not deny that the absence
of emotional involvement can. detract
from a sexual relationship. However, he
does think that emotional involvement
need nol be prerequisite to sexual satis-
faction. While he believes that sex with
love is preferable to sex without love, he
also believes that sex without love is bet
ter Ihan no sex at all.

IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS
Please take note of the follow

statements which appe: The Playboy

Forum for Deceml
E

1961:
sual sex may not be the best sex.

but it is better than no sex at all."
“What is wrong with passion? Sexual
passion. that is. And w wrong with

one or both partners acting as a pleasure

chine?

As T underst
sex utopi
we've attained freedom from censorship.
freedom from religious dom
freedom from ridiculous sex laws
last step is to remove the necessity of
love from ihe act

When all this has happened. the fol
lowing imaginary conversations might
very well take place:

You think you're having trouble with
your children, Mabel—let me tell you
our D3-vear- has forgout
the
mber

nd it, when Mr. Hefner's
is reached—that is,

when

sex

calc

check. oll

Enovid

she took her

. you ought to do what T do.
1 mean with our four daughters
1 just had 10 find
Jem. 1 just put the Enovid boule on the
breakfast ible along with the vita

solution

to the prob

d on the Less Crumb Show
“I think the men of this world have to
be protected. Newborn children should
take their mother’s family name. I mean:
How can anyone tell for sure whose
child it is anymore?"
Mary. Hopkins

rose Pointe, Michigan
(continued on page H4)

1965, PLAYBOY CLUBS Ii
VOL. 11, NO. 57 C DISTINGUISHED CHURS IN MAJOR CITIES

NATIONAL, INC.

SPECIAL EDITION

Playboy Club News

YOUR ONE PLAYBO
ADMITS YOU TO ALL PI

Y CLUB KEY

'LAYBOY CLUBS APRIL 1965

BOSTON AND SAN FRANCISCO DEBUT NEXT:

ATLANTA AND LOS ANGELES CLUBS HOPPING!

SAVE $25 BY APPLYING FOR KEY NOW

CHICAGO (Special) —Your
ver Playboy key now opens
doors to a dozen U.S, Playboy
Clubs and makes it possible to
charge an entire tropical holiday
at our Jamaican Bunnyland
(this courtesy is provided only
for Playboy keyholders).

With the opening of our new-
est Club in the luxurious Dink-
ler Motor Hotel, Atlanta night

The Cables live it u
on New Year's Eve. Black-

in Playboy's Penthouse for Los Angeles first-nig
ie premiere benefited the Reiss-Davis Clinic.

life swings into high gear
Southern keyholders find
our celebrated Playboy pamper-
ing on two entire floors of richly
appointed clubrooms with the
added fun of a bumper-pool
table in the Playmate Ber.
The multimillion-dollar Los
Angeles Playboy Club pre-
miered New Year's Day in the
dramatic new Playboy West

Phoenix Key Costs $50 May 1st

PHOENIX (Special)—Beginning May Ist, the $50 Resident Key
Fee will go into effect in Arizona, as it has in Florida and Chicago.
Only applications for key privileges postmarked before May Ist
will be honored at the Charter Key Fee of $25.

Your $25 Charter Key Fee
will show you all the abundant
good times found in the club-
rooms of every Playboy Club—
gourmet food for the same price
as a drink; man-sized drinks;
entertainment from the largest
talent roster in the worl
subscription to vir, the Club's
own magazine; luncheon and
cocktail privileges for your
playmate; twist parties, jam
sessions and the best time in
town; plus the always-present
beautiful Bunnies, many of
whom are Playmates from the
gatefold of PLAYBOY.

To obtain all the special
benefits that a Playboy Club
key brings you at the Phoenix
Club-and every other Club—
fill out the coupon today.

Beauties likePlaymate-BunnyTerri
Kimball and Bunny Candy welcome
keyholders to every Playboy Club.

Building at 8560 Sunset Boule-
vard. The L. A. Club, open seven
days a week, features its own
VIP Room (for Very Important
Playboys) as Clubs do in New
York and Chicago.

Bostonians will have their
own Bunny haven this summer
when our easternmost Playboy
debuts at 54 Park Square, just
opposite historical Boston Com-
mon. This modern six-story
hutch will house all the high-
spirited revelry and good times
found in Playboy Clubs
throughout the nation.

The foot of famcus Telegraph
Hill, in the very heart of San
Francisco's fun center, is the
scene of Playboy's second West
Coast Club. The four-story,
million-dollar hutch premieres
this year at 736 Montgomery.

By ordering your key today.
you can take advantage of the
$25 Charter Rate that applies
in Jamaica, Atlanta, Los An-
geles, Boston, Sen Francisco
and eight cther Club cities (see
Club Locations box), before the
$50 Resident Key Fec goes into
effect, Once a Playboy Club
opens, it has been the practice

PLAYBOY CLUB LOCATIONS

Clubs Open—Atlanta Dinkler
Motor Hotel: Baltimore 28 Light
a 115. E. Walton St
Detr

N. Contral; St. Louis 2914 Lindell.
Locations Set—Boston 54 Park
Squsre; San Francisco 736 Mont-
gomery St.

Next in Line— London, England;
Washington, D.C.

BECOME A KEYHOLDER / CUP AND

TO: PLAYBOY CLUBS INTERNATIONAL
c/o PLAYBOY MAGAZINE, 232 East

Gentlemen:

Here is my application for key privileges to The Playboy Club.

Pert Bunny Mary serves up a tropi-
concoction to guest Dirk Rat-
cliff in our Jamaican Club Pool.

to raise the key fee to $50, as it
is now wi in a 75-mile radius
of Chicago and in Florida (and
in Arizona beginning May Ist).

In every Club beautiful Bun-
nies greet you and guide you
through the Playboy world.

‘The Living Room, famous for
its cornucopian buffet, features
the Piano Bar where a jazz trio
swings into the wee hours, Play-
boy's showrooms offer a new
line-up of talent for your enjoy-
ment every two wecks. The
Penthouse showroom offers
Playboy's choice filet mignon
and New York-cut 8-oz. sirloin
steak. (The L.A. Penthouse also
features the chef's distinctive
Chicken Kiev.) These man-
satisfying Playboy entrees are
yours for the same price as a
drink. And Playboy's ounce-
and-a-half-plus potables are
known from Coast to Coast.

For entry tc all Playboy club-
rooms anywhere in the world—
mail the coupon today.

MAIL THIS APPLICATION TOOAY — =

Ohio Street, Chicas

Minois 60611

NAME

VPLERSE PRINT)

AODRESS —

env
Key Fee is 325 except within a 75-mite

keys ara $50. (Key fee includes S1 lor year's subscriptionto VIP. the Club magazine.)

C Bill me for $.
C) I wish only information about The Playboy Club.

D Enclosed ting $.

|
|
l
l
|
1 OCCUPATION
l
l
l
l
l

ETATE ZiP CODE

radius of Chicago end in Florida. where.

a ce me ee ee ee ee a ee ce md

Ten million men wake up Saturday
morning, put on a sport shirt and...
zot...they're invisible. Not Pete.
Look at that shirt. Pow. Hannibal at
the gates. Alexander at the shore.
Man your battle stations, here comes
a shirt. Here comes a man.

Good old Van Heusen. I'll bet
they're the only shirt makers in the
world who really understand Pete.

Life is for living, not mousing
around. Live big. Laugh hard. Love
everything from a bead of ocean on
the sand to a beautiful blonde. And

' hat's not a shirt...
it's a battleflag.

lovea lot. That's the ticket. And that's
the shirt for it. And hi there, shirt,
I'm the blonde.

VAN HEUSEN'
417 younger by design

Van Heusen and LadyVan Heusen Apparel

vri. ART BUCHWALD

a candid conversation with washington’s self-appointed secretary of satire

Marvin. Kitman,
month, was himsel]
“Playboy Interview” of soris when we
buttonholed him briefly in our "Afler
Hours” pages last July, at the climax of

i -in-check campaign for the Re
publican. Presidential nomination. Back,
like Barry, in private life, Kitman has
become a contributing writer for The
Saturday Ex t, returned to his
job as "Neus-Managing" Editor of Mon-
ode, a monthly magazine of political and
sorial satire, and is currently engaged in
chronicling the saga of his illjuted.
bid for the nation’s highest office, soon
10 be published by Dial Press. Debuting
as a PLAYBOY. interviewer, he writes of
his subject:

“The Art Buchwald 1 knew in Paris
was an innocent kid. His idea of [un
when he was a nobody was singing with
Edith Piaf under the bridges of the
Seine and dancing in Ihe rain with
Gene Kelly on the cobblestone streets
of Montmartre. As a result, none of his
Jriendy thought he would amount to
much in Paris. But I did. The night 1
fast met him, in 1956, he was sitting in a
quaint little French bistro called Max-
im's eating dinner with Sophia Loren. I
became convinced he was a real comer
when I saw him walk out of Maxim's
that night into Aristotle Onassis’ wailing
limousine.

“Still, we all jelt sorry for Art in
rope. The syndicated column he
been writing in Paris for the Ne

our interviewer this
the subject of a

had
York

“Our bombs are big enough. The prob-
lem is that our targets are too small. To
eliminate all this waste in overkill, 1 ad-
vocate. the enlargement of existing tar-
gets to fit the existing bombs.”

Herald Tribune since
tting anywhere.

1049 just wasn’t
I only appeared in

125 papers in the United States, Europe,
Africa and Asia, What Art never seemed
to realize was thal decent people weren't

inte:

ed in a column that made fun
of Americans abroad, the international
sel, showbiz celebrities and other sacred
institutions.

“Years passed and nothing was heard
from Buchwald. Then, unexpectedly, 1
received a letter from him in 1959
mailed from the Hotel Metropole in
Moscow. Ait had been touring Russia in
a Chrysler Imperial to show the enslaved
peoples behind the Iron Curtain what a
bloated plutocratie capitalist — really
looked like. The envelope contained
nothing but a tightly folded wad of pa
per the size of a postage stamp, which
bore a single word: nere. Not wishing
to become involved, 1 didn't answer the
letter.

“Bul il was I who first advised Art to
come home from Europe. 1 also told him
to collect his columns and make eight
books out of them. And 1 was the one
who suggested that he write a muscal
comedy called "The Spy in G Flat with
Russ Baker of The New York Times
And 1 told him he should do stand-up
comedy on a TV. program called ‘The
Entertainers. After H years in self-exile
he followed my advice, came home and
did all the things I'd told him to. As Pd
also predicted, his column began appear
ing in 225 newspapers. Suddenly, thanks

“My philosophy is the same ay Hu
Hefner's, Whatever he says in his ‘Phi-
losophy’ is my philosophy. Um a hip ur-
ban male, and he's about my age. So how
come I don't make out like he docs

fo me, Art Buchwald was the toast of
America and the darling of the smart set.

“Bul when viavwoy asked me to inter-
view Arl, 1 thought twice about taking

on the assignment. 1 was afraid that he
might have gotten a swelled head from
his fabulous overnight success—and. 1
didn't want to sce that. Overcoming my
misgivings when vtAvmov raised my
price, however, I decided to accept the
job. 1 found my 39-year-old subject sit-
ting in a director's chair marked “Big
Daddy" by the edge of a swimming pool
behind his $150,000 French Provincial
split-level in the Wesley Hills suburban-
renewal section of our nation's capital.
His three children were splashing hap-
pily in the pool, He said he didu't know
them. ‘I'm just working here as a life-
guard; he swore,

“To his credit, he seemed embarrassed
by his new afftuence. “This isn't really
our house, he apologized. "We live in
that $123,000 house next door. But the
people who own this one lend it to us
when we have visitors so we can impress
them.” 1 was impressed.

My old friend hadn't changed physi-
cally. One of his major assets as a
humorist had always been his dashing ap-
pearance. James Thurber once remarked
that Buchwald bore a striking vesem-
blance to the late Rudolph Valentino.
But Thurbers vision was failing even
then. I always thought Art looked more
like a pensive owl smoking a cigar. The
physical characteristic you notice most

“There is something to be said in favor
of recognizing Red China. If we admit
ted Red China to the UN, we could have
her blackballed as an aggressor and
thrown out for violating the UN charter.”

PLAYBOY

IF SHE WAS MADE FOR DIAMONDS
SHE WAS MEANT FOR

AMEG

PARFUM DE CORDAY

THREE-FIFTY TO THIRTY-FIVE DDLLARS

about him is his bright eyes—especially
at night.

His attitude toward his old friends
hadn't changed, either. He had always
been a nice guy, particularly to other
journalists. ‘Here ave the questions I ¢
pect you to ask me. fella? he said, hand.
ing me a typed list. When 1 took out my
own list, he threatened to throw me into
the swimming pool. ‘Bul that’s news
management; 1 suid. ‘If you can't have
censorship? he explained, "news manage-
ment is the next best thing? Appeased, I
began asking the questions from his list
To all of them, however, he answered,
No comment.’ He then told several ob-
vious lies about his past. ‘I never prom-
ised to answer any of the questions
honestly, he said when I objected. ‘If
you're out to embarrass me, I'll call the
edilors of PLAYBoy and have them kill
the interview. Then FIL ruin you person-
ally ‘May I quote you on that? I in-
quired. ‘Of course not; he replied. We
agreed to keep it off the record and pro-
ceeded with the interview.”

PLAYBOY: As America’s leading
BUCHWALD: Belore you go any further,
Fd like to modily that. Fm a great
satirist, but I wouldn't say I was the
leading one.

PLAYBOY: We were referring to Mort
Sahl, as a matter of fact. But as long as
you've mentioned yourself, do you agree
with hl that these times of political
heat and social unrest call for more
biting commentary from our nation's
humorist:
BUCHWALD: On the contrary, I think
there's entirely too much humor going
around. I'd like to see a lot less humor
in this country. Even the President of
the U.S. is trying to make jokes. A law
ht to be passed requiring that only
certain people be allowed to practice
humor, I favor licensing humorists, like
doctors or lawyers, so that no one else
could make jokes. As a matter of fact, I
would prefer to be the only onc allowed.
10 make jokes.

PLAYBOY: Does it annoy you when some-
body else writes something funny?
BUCHWAID: Are you trying to be fun-
ny? Of course it annoys me. What am I
supposed to do—laugh?

PLAYBOY: Let's not engage in person-
alities, Do you feel that satire plays a
constructive and important role in our
society?

BUCHWALD: I think satire is among
the most powerful weapons we have.
You can do more w ih any
other kind of writing. For example, be-
fore the Republican Convention last
year, most humorists and satirists were
making fun of Barry Goldwater. They
really gave him a terrific lampooning.
I'm convinced that if it hadn't been for
them, Goldwater might have gotten the
Republican nomination,

You may be right. But if you

satirist...

think satire is such a powerful weap-
on, why isn’t your column funny? Why
don't you use the power of the press to
poke fun at Congress, the State Depart
ment, the Pentagon and the White
House?

BUCHWALD: I've been under a lot of
pressure from well-meaning but cynical
friends to do just that: to actually hold
up to scorn

our most sacred institution
and ridicule. But I've been strong. Being
a good American comes before making
buck, in my book. For too many yea
now we've had irresponsible people
making fun of our Government and our
honest, hard-working politicians, and ev-
eryone in Washington is getting sick of
it. Any county with a ninc-billion-dollar
annual deficit is no laughing matter.
These smartaleck satirical egghead best-
niks who make light of the United States
of America are playing into the hands of
our enemy, godless communism. And
that’s the worst kind of communism.
PLAYBOY: We have here in our hand
documentary evidence—one of your own
columns—indicating that you may be ly-
ing in that reply. In it, you make fun of
one of our nation’s most beloved insti-
tutions, the FBI, and its revered director.
BUCHWALD: I only said there are so
many FBI informers in the Communist
Panty that there aren't. many Commu
nists left, and that most of the dues
being paid by the Party members, there-
fore, come from FBI funds. I also said
that maybe someday soon J. Edgar
Hoover will be elected. chairman of the
American Communist Party. Whats so
saurical about that?

PLAYBOY: Isn't that inconsistent with
your policy of not making fun of
anybody?

BUCHWALD: Well, maybe a little bit,

but you're allowed to make fun of the
FBI, because they have such a good
sense of humor. That's one thing about
the FBI: They never get upset when you
make fun of them. You may get a call
from two FBI agents the morning alter
the column appcars—at three o'clock. in
the morning—but it’s always a friendly
call. Its the one organization in Wash
ington that doesn’t mind being laughed
at.

PLAYBOY: Lers sec you laugh this olf
I's been alleged, by highly placed
sources whose names we're not at liberty
to divulge, that you, Arthur. Buchwald.
are a conscious agent of the internation
al Communist conspiracy. Your column.
we've been informed, is regularly trans-
o Rus: nd published behind
Curtain, Are you now, or have
you ever been...

BUCHWALD: You're impugning my loyalty,
and Fm afraid I can’t stand for that.
What Em about to tell you is absolutely
top secret, and E can't allow you to quote
me on it, but my column is actually a
code for CIA agents in Russia, Every
third word in the column is a message to

one of our people. It was through my
column, as a matter of lact-and this is
stricly confidential-that our agents in
Moscow got the word from Washington
to have Khrushchev fired.

PLAYBOY: How long have you been a
double agent for the Herald Tribune
and the CIA?

BUCHWALD: Since my days in Pa
There my column was a code for mes-
sages from our agents in Paris—some of
them in the Elysée itsell—-to CIA H. Q.
in Washington. But keep that under
your beret

PLAYBOY: Check. When you first an-
nounced your decision to come home,
you said you'd miss taking those long
walks in the Bois de Boulogne with Bri-
gitte Bardot, waterskiing with Princess
Grace, playing baccarat with the Roth-
schilds, having candlelight dinners with
Elizabeth Taylor, and swappi
with General Raoul Salan at Sa
on. Well, we have the sworn testimony
of all of these people that they've never
even met you.
BUCHWALD: I r

ver said I actually did
any of those things. But I'm going to
miss them anyway-

PLAYBOY: In any casc, what made you
decide to give up your purportedly ex-
i madcap, wicked life in Paris and
return 10 America?

BUCHWALD; It may sound “squa w
you, but I returned to my homeland
because F like to think of myself as a
patriotic American. 1 happen to be old-
fashioned enough to believe that the
word “patriotism” is still a living wath,
As soon as E found out that French taxi
were ¢ to be higher than American
taxes, I decided 10 come back home to
this great country of ours. Besides, E had
helped out De Gaulle as much as I
could, and I felt I was needed here,
PLAYBOY: By the CIA?

BUCHWALD: No, I w
by Walter Lippmann, Arthur Krock and
David Lawrence to come back and be-
come the Dean of the Washington Press
Corps. None of them wanted the ttle

asked. personally

anymore, and they asked if D would
head the thing up. It doesn't pay any
thing, of course, but I couldn't very well
refuse a clear-cut mandate,

PLAYBOY: Is it your ambition to become
the man at the W House press
k you, Mr.

conferences who says, “Tha
President"?

BUCHWALD: No, that’s the job of Merri
man Smith. My job is dilferent. After
Merriman says, “Thank you, Mr. Presi
dent" D say, "Are you putting us on,
Mr. President?
PLAYBOY: Johnson
ond President you've given the benefit
of your counsel, isn't he? We understand
you played an important liaison role be-
tween the CIA and the White House at
the time of the Bay of Pigs invasion.
BUCHWALD: Thanks for the compliment,
but 1 wasn’t here then. I was in

ly the

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PLAYBOY

g De Gaulle lose Algeria at the
But P did help out in Washin
iban crisis. The
to the Doves
and I had a conciliatory

Chick

helpin
time

ton d
Gover
nd the Hawl

ing the second C

third group going: the
PLAYBOY: According to a rel
formart—yoursel{—you've had a Mas

ws beats since your rc-
turn to Washington. You were the first
newsman, for example, to reveal how
President Johnson finally picked his run-
ning mate. “Up until convention time
you wrote exclusively, “the President
sull had no idea whom he wanted to
give the job 10. Then, on the third day
of the convention, while he was eating
nch with Mrs. Johnson, she said to
him, You know. Lyndon, we owe the
a dinner” The President
“AR dr have ume to have dinner
w uh the Humphreys, but ah tell you
what, Lady Bird, ah'll ke it up to
them some way" " How did you manage
to get this historic scoop?

BUCHWALD: The most important cle-
ment of my success as à repe is that T
dow't talk to anybody. I think it's a ver
bad mistake for a colu st in Ww ashing-
ton to speak to
ions, to muddle the issues by pr
two sides of the story. I have found on
the couple of occasions when Tve actual-
ly gone out and spoken to people. T've
gonen very confused. So I've adopted
the practice of establishing a tight secur
ity net around my office. I lock myself
inside. pull down the shades, check the
room for hidden microphones, and—
you're not recording this, are you?
PLAYBOY: Of course not.

BUCHWALD: Good. I check out the room,
then pick up my red telephone, dial
number known only to me, and ask
them to send up all the Washington
newspapers, which T spend the rest of
the day reading. On the basis of this
formation—all of it inside stufl—I'm
able to write my story.

PLAYBOY: Using that system, we'd like
you to analyze the 1964 clection results.
To what do you auribute the Republi-
cans’ overwhelming def
BUCHWALD: Lack of votes, 1 think. If
they had had more votes than the Demo-
s. they'd probably have won. But this
is just hindsight. you know—Mond:
ag quarterbacking

PLAYBOY: Some Republ
scem to think th
the columnists
wibuted to th.
action to that cl
BUCHWALD: As I scc it, we columnists
and commentators were victims of the
white tongue-lash. But to tell you the
truth, E was disappointed that the Demo-
crats didn't auack us, too. Goldwater,
Eisenhower, Nixon—they didu't let us
down. They gave us the public recogni
tion we've long so richly deserved. Many
newsmen who were going to vote Demo-

percentage. of

an Party leaders
the press, particularly
d commentators, con-
defeat, What's your re-

cratic consequently voted Republican. As
the election results indicated, the Demo-
mistake in being friend-

crats made a bi
ly toward us.

PLAYBOY: Did vou really play key
role, as you've alleged column,
g the candidates’ campaign

strategies?

BUCHWALD: Yes, during the campaign I
advised both the President and Gold-
(t to come zainst violence
in the streets. 1 was afraid they'd lose
the violent vote, and it turned out that
1 was right. They both attacked violence
in the sucets and—well, you know the
situation today where you don't have
violence in the streets anymore. They're
sorry they didn’t take my advice.
PLAYBOY: What do you feel was
big issue that won for the Democrats?
BUCHWALD: It the litle things
that had a great ellect on this election.
In Washington, for example, I had

Out à

the

Democratic friend who used to go
around tipping taxi drivers a nickel and
then saying, “Vote Republican” Anot-

cr guy had a gimmick that he said
worked miracles. He picked people's
names out of the phone book and called
them up at two A.M. and said, “Hi, there.
Im a volunteer for Goldwater-Miller.
Ik to
me?" I know another Johnson man who
helped out Goldwater by scattering Re-
publican campaign literature on his
neighbors” lawns. And there's this litde
oll lady I know who put on tennis
shoes and a Goldwater button and went
around Georgetown insulting all the
merchants.

PLAYBOY: Did you give
of your own time during the campaign?
BUCHWALD: | tried to do my bit. My
main contribution was to go around
with a Goldwater bution at parties mak-
ing passes at all the independents’ wives.
And I like to think that my campaign
slogan had some effect, 100. 1 had a pic-
ture of Goldwater on a poster which
ve: Would you want to buy a used
bomb from this man?”

PLAYBOY: Because of the networks’ com-
petition to be first in predicting the
outcome of the election, many. people
were concerned about the possibility of
a band-vagon movement, or even an un-
derdog psychology, among voters watch-
g the early returns on television in thi
West. How do you feel about i
BUCHWALD: Our whole system in
danger, in my opinion. We have a rwo-
party, three-network system, and it must
be preserved. We've seen a disastrous
thing happen this year in which or
work—NBC—completely domin
other networks in its clection-nig
€. Two men, Huntley and Brinkle
—nice enough men on the surface, but
very dangerous when they get that much
singlehandedly put ABC d
the shade. In other words, I
think we should worry not about how

Would you have a few minutes to ta

as unselfishly

ted the

ing elections, but about how
c allecting the TV industry,
which is what most people care about.

PLAYBOY: How do vou feel about the role
of the pollsters in influencing elections?
BUCHWALD: Insidious. 1 wrote a column
out what would have happened if
there had. been pollsters just before the
Revolutionary War. On the basis ol
talking to people all over the color
they would have come to the conclus
that only ten percent of the public want-
cd to break away from the British, and
that the rest liked the status quo. So

we had listened to the pollsters, we'd

still be part of Englund.
PLAYBOY: In the last electo there
were many millions of Americans who

didit exercise their franchise. What can
be done to overcome. this apathy?
BUCHWALD: There has (0 be some pa
wiotic incentive to make people vote:
Td give them Green Stamps. Another
thing I would recommend is lening pco-
ple drink on Election Day. That way
yowd get a lot more people voting.
You'd even have people voting twice or
three times.

PLAYBOY: This next question is so per
sonal we blush to ask it. We told the edi
tors you wouldn't answer it. What did
you think of the recent Presidential non-
candidacy of Lincoln Republican Marvin
Kitman?

BUCHWALD: It’s funny you should men
tion his name, because 1 was just think-
ing that you look a lot like him. But to
answer your question, American politics
ys had to put up with nuts. I
against Kitman’s candidacy from the
He was reaching too high when he
tried for the Presidency. 1 think he
should have started by running for Sen.
ator from New York.

PLAYBOY: Let's change the subject. Many
people were worried about what would
have happened to this country if Gold-
water had been elected. Were you?
BUCHWALD: No, I don't think anything
would have happened—except maybe by
January 21 or 22, we'd all have been dea
But outside of that, | wasn't wor

PLAYBOY: You wrote during the cam
paign that Goldwater's 26,000,000. sup-
porters had threatened to leave the

country and emigrate to Canada il John
son and Humphrey won. Do you know

whats happened to the
BUCHWALD:
of the

Yes, P do. At the request
Canadian government, 1 inspired
a Loser to Lunch Weck” follow-
g Goldwater's defeat. Dur that
week I asked each and every John.
man to take a Goldwater voter to lu
ain to him where he was wrong.
to report that the plan was a
success: Only 5,000,000 of the 26,000,000
Goldwate grated
to C: of them have al
ready come back because they found ivs
100 cold up there in tennis shocs.
PLAYBOY: Looking ahead to ‘68,

voters have actually c

ada. And soi

what

nes

Some are dainty, prissy,
lacy, fizzy, fickle.

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all the way down to
your toes.

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PLAYBOY

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You've swept the field and girl

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by slim line slacks by Mark Craig
Now take her up and show her

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do you think the Republicans will need
to win?

BUCHWALD: A miracle. But apart from.
that, P think they could use another
war hero like Ike. T like to see war he-
roes as Pres I don't Tike to see old
soldiers just fading away. That's one of
my great regrets about that grand old
general, Barry Goldwater, not getting
elected. I think we would have had a lot
of war heroes if he had gonen within
reach of the Pentagon panic buttons. This
would have become a country of war hc-
roes. With Goldwater gone, the only one
we've got left is Francis Gary Powers. I
haven't seen anybody since Powers who
lives up to my ideal. He'd make a great

President.
PLAYBOY: Do you agree with Richard
Nixon that Richard Nixon will be the

n to unify the Republican Party?
BUCHWALD; | understand that Nixon's
main interest. now is the Pepsi-Cola
Company, and 1 think hell make a great
contribution there. I've always felt that
he should have been working for Pep
instead of for the Government.
PLAYBOY: Nixon was once considered.
a crafty politician, but according to
some critics, he scems to have played his
cards all wrong during the camp:
Have you been advising him?
BUCHWALD: No, I've never offered to
help Dick. I've always thought he was
pretty funny without my help. It's noth-
ing personal, you understand. I think
he’s a great American. But then, so are
all the people 1 know: They're all great
Americans.

PLAYBOY: While we're on the subject
of name-calling, what was your reaction
to all the mudslinging that took place
during the recent campaigr
BUCHWALD: I enjoyed it. But you know,
everybody in America seems to want
to label everybody else. IL you don't
gree with the Democrats, you're a
Bircher; if you don't agree with the Re-
publicans, you're a Communist. You
know, if everybody called a Bircher was
a Bircher, this would be one hell of a
dangerous country. And if everybody
was a Commie who was called a Com-
ie, we'd already be one of the satellite
ions. I think name-calling is wrong. I
don't call people who disagree with me
Birhers or Commies. I call them ex-
tremists and lefties,

PLAYBOY: There was a lot of talk dur-
the campaign about the Communist
ace in this country. Do you think
there are many Communists in the Su-
preme Court, for example?

BUCHWALD: According to the right wing,
there are only nine. However, there is
a Communist problem in this country.
I've discovered since coming home that
we have so many organizations to fight
communism in every we don't
really have enough Communists to go
around. To help solve this problem, I've

mel

town,

advocated a redistribution of Communist
y members. Fach town gets one, and
resident Communist.

c. They get to throw garbage on his
wn and break his windows and all
that; but he doesn't care because hi

s
on salary, and the breakage goes on the
expense account. It's a hell of a way to

make a living, but it helps solve this
country's Communist problem. I've tried
to get J. Edgar Hoover to approve this
idea, but he hasn't answered my letter
yet. Another s tion I've made to
help solve the Red menace is for every-
one to become a card-carrying anti-
Communist, Everyone would have to
carry this Certificate of Anticommunism
iu his wallet. These would be issued
by the FBI, which would run a check on
your background before letting you have
one. If it’s discovered that you're a tegis-
tered Democrat, you'd be asked to take a
lie detector test in which you'd be ques-
tioned on your feelings toward Social
Security, TVA, civil rights, the United
Nations, Medicare and foreign aid. IE it
were found that you supported any of
these, your certificate would be with-
held, and the scarlet letter “C"—or
“CD” for Communist Dupe—would be
stamped on the back of all your clothes.
PLAYBOY: How do you fecl about the
extreme rightwing organization that
calls itself the Minutemen
BUCHWALD: l think those guys are
really performing a great service. They
keep their guns by their beds, and
they're ready any minute to go out into
the streets and start shooting. I'd be wor
ried if loyal Americans like that weren't
around, because I don't think the police.
the Army or even SAG could prevent an
invasion if the Russians really wanted 10
invade. Having. Minutemen is the one
thing we have that really worries the
Russians. This is the one deterrent pre-
venting them from attacking us right
now. I would even like to see more guns
distributed throughout the nation, Id
like to see teenagers get guns. I think
anybody who's old cnough to go out at
night, who can drive a car, and roll a
drunk, and fight for his counny, should
have a gun,

PLAYBOY: Do you regard that as a sound
way to reduce the size of our standing
Army?

BUCHWALD: Certainly. I'm 100 percent
in favor of decreasing the size of
standing Army and increasing the size
of our sitting Army. I think our boys
deserve a rest.

PLAYBOY: From your previous remark
about the lity of SAC to deter the
Russians, you scem to bc implying that
Goldwater was right during thc

our

ab.

paign

about the alleged inadequacies of our
retaliatory missile strength.
BUCHWALD: I don’t know who was

about our missiles accuracy, Mc-
Namara or Goldwater. But carly in the

I advocated a test that would
uer. It consisted of
rowboat in the middle
ng McNamara
fire one of our missiles at him. Now, if
our missiles s unreliable as Gold.
water chimed, it would have mised
him, and McNamara would have had to
pologize to Goldwater. But il it hit
Goldwater, Barry would have had to with-
draw from the Presidential race. McNa-
mara was all for the idea, but Gold
d have to think it over. He still
as D know.
PLAYBOY: In view of Goldy s
ed wish to serve his country, win or lose,
do you think President Johnson should
appoint him to a Cabinet posi
BUCHWALD: Certainly not, That would
be wildly irresponsible. But we should
find him something to do. Maybe he
could be put im charge of our SAC
bases, Just because he's not the com
mander in chief shouldn't prevent him
from using SAC planes whenever he
feels like attacking godless commu:
PLAYBOY: lt seems to us that you
displaying a rd for the
dangers of nuclear destruction.
BUCHWALD: hc dang is not
that there's going to be a nuclear holo-
caust, but that. there won't be one, even

paix
have seided the
seating Ba
of the Pa

guards now that nobody's going to be
able to push the bution, The way it
s is this: As 1 reported in a column
there's this WAV
d a WAC in San Francis.
co. If the red alert is ever sounded,
"d have to meet in St. Louis and ex-
Then one goes to. Nome,
aska, and the other to New Orle:
where they give the keys to two liewen
s who then have to fly to Cape Ken
nedy. And then they both have to put
the keys in the black box at the same
time. The only hitch is there’s just one
lock, so they can never put the keys in
simultancously. So as it stands now,
there's no possibility of setting off a war
accidentally or otherwise. 1 understand
the Russians have the same safeguards.
PLAYBOY: Have you pointed out this
stilemate to the President:
BUCHWALD: | haven't been able to get
an appoinment with him yet. I've tried
to contact him by leuer and wire, but
1 ss he’s been too busy t0 answer.
So I leave notes under the White House
. Tve tried to get them to put up a
suggestion box in front of the White
House, but they haven't done it yet

PLAYBOY: Are you at liberty to tell us
put any other e you've given the
President?

BUCHWALD: Not all of it, of course,
but 1 guess the security lid is off by now
my white paper to the President
about economy in Government. One of
the measures I proposed was t send our
top level communiqués to the Soviet Un-

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PLAYBOY

ion by sea mail rather than by costly dip-
lomatic couriers.

PLAYBOY: Would that be fast enough
during an international cris
BUCHWALD: In such an emergency, we
could send them a collect telegram;
and if worst came to worst—say we'd
aunched an ICBM at Moscow by n
take—we could call them on the hot line,
but after six eM., when the rates go
down, Another of my proposals, which is
now being considered by the joint chiefs,
is to make all SAC pilots fly tourist class.
1 might add that T also advocated turn-
y out the lights in the White House
long before L. B. J. suggested. it.
PLAYBOY: From your intimate knowl-
edge of the Washington scene, can you
€ us the inside story on what life is
cally like in the White House?
BUCHWALD: Well, nobody's ever proven
it, but I hear there is no life in the
White House.

PLAYBOY: Haven't the Johnson
you over for a barbecue or a frug pa
BUCHWALD: I've never been invited to
the White House. But 1 harbor no bit
terness about it, H he doesn't want to
have me, thats his bu
house, after all. But I
much food could 1 cat How much liq-
uor could 1 drink? I don't even drink.
But if he doesn’t want to have me, I
dont care. Lets change the subject.
PLAYBOY: But you used to be such a
social climber; you've written. that. it's
your favorite sport.

BUCHWALD: I climbed with the wrong
people when 1 fist came to Wash-
ngton—the Massachusetts people, the
Georgetown people, the New Frontier
people. I didn't appreciate the impor-
tance of Texans. I won't make that mis-
take again. I'm already in with Bobby
Baker's crowd.

PLAYBOY: We get the impression from
your remarks that you feel the air of in-
tellectual excitement, the receptivity to
creative new ideas which characterized
the New Frontier has not bee
ferred to the Johnson Admini
Ave we righe

BUCHWALD: I'm afraid so, because most
of the new ideas that I've suggested to
President Johnson have been rejected.
PLAYBOY: In that case, would you care
to use this interview as a platform to
give the Adm ion and the nation
the benefit of your counsel on some of

asked
2

our thorniest foreign and domestic
problems?

BUCHWALD: Why not?

PLAYBOY: All right. What do you

think should be done about the United.
Nations?

BUCHWAID: T
out of the U;

believe we should get
ited Nations. T think it
should be made into an apartment
house or the headquarters for a com|
ny like General Motors or A. T. & T. It
ills me every time J go to New York and

think that building is being used for
peaceful purposes.

PLAYBOY: How do you feel about recogni-
tion of the Red Chinese?

BUCHWALD: I've always found it rather
difficult myself. They all look alike to me.

PLAYBOY: We mean diplomatic recog
tion.
BUCHWALD: Oh. Well, Pm against it,

personally. Red China has been giving
us so much trouble in Southeast Asia
s better t0 continue our present
policy of pretending she doesn't exist.
She's just trying. to get attention, any-
way. If we ignore her, the problem will
go away. Besides, we all know that the
will of China's 700,000,000 people is
truly represented not by the Comm

gime in Peking, but by Chiang K

shek and his 11,613,000 E
Chinese. on Formosa fairness,
h, I must admit there ds

something to be said in favor of recog-
I don't want to say I’m in favor
of recognition, because if I did Vd get
trouble with the John Birch Society
the Russian Communist Party. But if we
cre to recognize them, we'd be able to
call them names; it’s difficult to call any-
one names whose existence is in doubt.
Also, if we admitted Red China to the
UN, we could have her blackballed as an
gressor and thrown out for violating
the UN charter.

PLAYBOY: We hadn't thought of th
possibility. But how would you resolve
the problem of what to do about Na-
tionalist China, which is already a UN
member?

BUCHWALD: Simple. There should be
1 third China set wp somewhere—maybe
in Liechtenstein or Switverland—which
would have nothing to do with the other
two Ch This would be Neutralist
China, and this would be the one every-
body would recognize. In this way we
wouldn't have to hurt anybody's feelings
by choosing between Communist Ci
and Nationalist China. The more ©
nas there are in the world, the happier
everybody will be. Besides, if we had a
third China to recognize, it would mean
that we could line up with wo Chinas
against their one; in other words, we
could choose two from Column A rather
than onc from Column B. The only
trouble is that half an hour after recog-
g the third China, we'd want to rec-
ognize another onc.

PLAYBOY: in pursuing a course of in-
isigent independence from the U. S.,
nce has chosen to recognize Red
. As an old France-hand and con
t of Charles de Gaulle, what policy
would you advise the Administration to
pursue in dealing with the imperious
French President?

BUCHWALD: The Chuck de Gaulle T
know is a regular fella. The trouble
is. he's misunderstood. in Washingtoi
What they don't understand is that he's
for a united Europe and against French

nition

nationalism. He prefers to sacrifice the
interests of France for the good of the
free world. If you just sit down and
chew the fat with him, you'll never have
any problems.

PLAYBOY: Can you suggest an cqually
sound solution for the Cuba problem?
BUCHWALD: Yes Our course is clear.
We should do absolutcly nothing about
it. Two years ago, Cuba was 90 miles
away from the U.S. But the other day a
nd of mine discovered it is now 91
ay. So the Cuban problem is

soon it will float our to sca, and that will
solve the problem.

PLAYBOY: Your friends at the CIA t
to solve that problem somewhat dilfei-
ently at the Bay of Pigs. In view of
such blunders. it's been suggested by
some that the CIA's autonomous power
in the field of espionage and intelligence
be drastically curtailed. Do you agree?
BUCHWALD: No, | think
occasional blunder such as ¢
is capable of, so that our
neutral nations don't be
being too perfect, H we make a mistake
now and then,
human in the world’s eyes. But 1 think
it's ui me the CIA for every
thing that goes wrong in foreign affairs.
Thats giving them too much credit. 1
think they should be requi
list of their failures every y y
don't get blamed for somebody else's
failures. The more Pentagon failures
they get credited with, the more moncy
they get from Coi
PLAYBOY: Do you share the vie
Senator Goldwater that we should put
an end to foreign aid?
BUCHWALD: I like the sound of th
PLAYBOY: Of wh.
BUCHWALD: Ex-Senator Goldwater. A
nly do not agree with hi
lam a firm believer in foreign aid—e:
nomic and military, loans and grants. 1
think foreign governments should aid
us to the very best of their ability.
PLAYBOY: What do you think of the
Peace Corps?
BUCHWALD: A great
Instead of enemics,
friends for us everywhere, People have
learned to love us. HE th at yc
going for in a foreign policy, I guess the
Peace Corps is all right. But I happen
to think the Peace Corps is a very bi
mistake.

PLAYBOY: It’s strange you should say
that, for we are in possession of a dossicr
which shows that you once volunteered
for the Peace Corps. What do you have
to say about that?
BUCHWALD: ] was carried away in the
beginning. I volunteered to go to Monte
Carlo, because I thought that's where
they really needed The people
down there are walking around hall
ked, some without even shoes, and
they need help. I offered to live the life

we need an
nly the CIA
llies and the
n to hate us for

kes us seem me

fair to bl

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PLAYBOY

they did. drink the native wines, eat and
sleep with them, show them I'm no be
ter than they are just because T'm lucky
enough to come from the greatest coun-
wy in the world. But they turned dow:
my application. That's what made me
realize they weren't really sincere in
wanting to help the overprivileged na-
tions. All they've set out to do is sabo-
mage the cuse of anti-Americanism
mong our allies.
PLAYBOY: How well have they succeeded?
BUCHWALD: You'll still run into it here
and there—wherever you find American
tourists. They're the most anti-American
people I've ever met. They're always sa
ing, “We want to go where thos
Americans don't go.”

PLAYBOY: U.S. participation
clear arms race is another factor con
tributing to anti-Americanism abroad.
How do you feel about it?
BUCHWALD: lt must bc cnded
its too latc. Our bombs. ready ca-
pable of annihilating five times the pop-
ulation of the world. The problem now
is that our targets are too small, To
eliminate all this waste in overkill, T ad-
vocate the enlargement of existing tm
gets to fit the existing bombs. We've got
to enlarge our cities so that the radius of
the most powerful H-bomb will fall
within them. That way we wouldn't have

boorish

n the nu-

before

re a

all this waste of fallout and heat—and
worst of all, of defense expenditures.
PLAYBOY: Wouldn't we be laying our-

selves open to Russian attack?
BUCHWALD: On the connary. The Rus-
sians would have no alternative bur
to follow suit. They couldn't afford to
let our targets get bigger than theirs. lt
would be too much of a blow to their
prestige.

PLAYBOY: On the domestic scene. civil
ights is perhaps the most critical issue
confronting the nation. At this point,
where do you feel the Negro stands in
his struggle equality
BUCHWALD: Now that the Civil Rights Bill
has been passed, nobody has anything
to complain about anymore. Look how
thingy have chan 1 Harlem since the
passage of char bill. Ivs an entirely dif-
ferent place. You wouldn't recognize it.
No riots. No demonstrations, No slums.
No unemployment. No police.
PLAYBOY: Have you bcen personally in-
volved in the civil rights movement here
at all?

BUCHWALD: Well, I've wied to help
descgregate restaurants. 1 think one of
the reasons Negroes haven't catenin
many of the big restaurants in the South
is that the food has been so bad. If they
improved the food, Negroes would want
to eat there without a fight. Because of
desegregation, many Southern restaurants
are upgrading the quality of their food.
I've been working along those lines. I
might mention in passi though it's
not generally known, that 1 had a lot to

do behind the scenes with pushing the
Civil Rights Bill through Congress.
PLAYBOY: We didn't know vou swung
so much weight on Capitol Hill.
tively speaking, of course.

BUCHWALD: Well, I don't like to toot
my own horn, but E think I've got Sen-
ator Dirksen and Congressman Adam

Clayton Powell in my pocket, Don’t
print that.
PLAYBOY: We won't—in return for a

wuthful answer to the next question
BUCHWALD: Are you threatening me with
blackmail?

PLAYBOY: No comment. We'll
anyway: Do you have any personal polit-
ical ambitions?
BUCHWALD: No.
irists maki

k you

If D did, Pd. have sat-
g fun of me, instead of the
other way around. I couldn't stand that.
No, I'd like to continue to be the force
behind the Government. My big ambi-
tion is 10 grab all the power I can with-
out getting caught at it. I wouldn't even
mind getting my hands on a couple of
those bombs. But this is what we're all
striving for, isn't it
PLAYBOY: Let's turn, naturally enough, to
the “casy morals” issuc brought up by
Goldwater during last year's campa.
n the light of the Bobby Baker hear-
. do you think its mue that sex
makes strange bedfellows in Washington?
BUCHWALD: To tcll you the truth, I've
never seen any sex in Washington.
I've heard about it—there've been a lot
of rumblings—but Ive never actually
come across it. Newspapermen are very
honorable and strait-laced and wouldn't
fool around. of course. And, naturally,
no Senator or Congressman would have
anything to do with sex, because that
would endanger the national security.
There i$ the Supreme Court, though,
Now I dont know about them. They
might be fooling around.

PLAYBOY: You say your record is clean.
Didn't you ever get in on any of the ac-
tion at Bobby Bakers notorious Quo-
rum Club?

No. When I read about
excited and rushed up
there, but it was too latc. 1 don't know
where they went, but they moved.
You're not the first to ask me about sex
here. Whenever | travel outside of
Washington, people ask me for the in-
side stuff on Bobby Baker. At first 1 was
very modest and said I didn't know any-
thing. They got very annoyed and
stopped inviting me out to have dinner.
So then I started reading Time and
Newsweek and Jack and Jill, and. pretty
soon E began quoting them—in confi-
dence, of course. People were impressed.
“Gee,” they said, “this guy really knows
whats going on." So 1 try to keep up
now with all the news so that I can
speak with authority
PLAYBOY: While talking about
scandals: You've overheard the cloak-
room talk about President Harding's

we're

love letters. Do you think it was in the
public interest to have them published?

BUCHWALD: I was very disappointed when
those letters. were published, because
President Harding was my hero, A lot
of guys are Lincoln men and others are
Jellerson men, but Fve always been a
big Harding man. He was the President
who did the most for our countr
PLAYBOY: What is it that you admired
about him?

BUCHWALD: Well, | admired his stick
He always said we should talk softly and
carry a big stick. That's wl
most. But I also admired his willingness
to free the slaves. And he kept us out of
World War Two. The anti-H:iding
this country just got worried
that he would go down in history as one

forces i

of our great Presidents, so they decided
to smear him. I was sick and disgusted
when I read those letters. I'm not even
sure he wrote them. I just can’t believe a
guy of Harding's reputation would have
had a mistress, and even if he did, would
have written those dirty awful things. I
was shattered, and so was my father.
PLAYBOY: We're surprised to hear your
prudish stand. on this question. In some
of your written work you seem to favor
free and open discussion of sex prob-
s. If anything,
for sex reform in America.
BUCHWALD: Your
gooder as far as sex is conce
probably referring to my campaign to
help alleviate the. plight of the unwed
father. There were a lot of people worry:
ing about unwed mothers, but no one
wanted to help unwed fathers. | advocat
ed that two months before the baby was
born, the unwed father should be sent to
some resort where he wouldn't be known
nd he could vacation there and forget
all the nastiness back home. Thi
the baby was born, he could come back

Im a do-
icd. You're

1, after

and we'd give him some money to get
started again. A lot of people got sore as
hell at me for that. "Don't you | y
daughters of your own?" they wanted to
know. Well, I do. I happen to have two
daughters. But 1 also have a son,
could be an unwed father se
PLAYBOY: What do you think is
sponsible for the sexual revolution tha
taking place in America today?
BUCHWALD: You want me to say Hugh
Hetner, domi you? But I've got to
be honest. ] think it was the release of
the Harding love letters. If those letters
hadn't been published, 1 don't think
kids would be doing what they're doing
today. Another r
revolution is that everyone is aga
olence in the streets. If the authorities
came out in favor of violence in the
streets, the kids wouldn't dare go out in
cars and park in those little es and
[
PLAYBOY: Psychologists report that even
in the best families young people are

as.

turning to crime, as well as to sex, for
kicks. Why?

BUCHWALD: Hecause th much
togetherness. We have too much of p:
ents and kids doing th ther
That enables the kids to get to know
what their parents are really like: and
t just makes the kids go into crime
Why should I be
When 1 was a kid, fortunate
saw my father. Without an
a

too

ly. 1 nevei

aple to live down to, I just r
around the streets kicking cans, and con
sequently 1 missed out on a lile of crime
PLAYBOY: As a father, how are you going
h your own kids when they
become teenagers?

BUCHWALD: Tve talked them out of be
ng teenagers. They've already given
their word. Of course, some money
changed hands, but at cast. that solved
the problem

PLAYBOY: "here has been a proposal
that we lower the voting age to 18. Do
1 think this will help make teenagers
more responsible citizen:
BUCHWALD: No. When the teenagers de
cide to take over the counuy, they're
going to take it over whether they have
the vote or not. At the moment, they
feel they don't want the responsibility
PLAYBOY: Do you expect a coup sooi
BUCHWALD: Not immediately. Bur the
two minority pressure groups we'll have
10 be watching are the teenagers and the
old folks. If they ever combine forces

to cope w

well really be im trouble. Right now
fortunately, they don’t agree on much.

PLAYBOY: One thing many tec s and
old folks seem to agree on is their
opposition to the Supreme Court. deci
sion banning prayer im public schools
Where do you stand on this issue?
BUCHWALD: | think there should be a
compromise on this prayer issue. Kids
should be allowed to pray in school, but
only before they have a test, or when
theyre late for school, or when they
haven't done their homework.

PLAYBOY: Do you send your own kids
to a public school?

BUCHWALD: | leel that evel ican
parent should be proud to send his kids
to a public school—if he doesn't have
any money. We ran out of money three
months ag ids go to a public
school

. 50 our.

PLAYBOY: Haven't you been able to
save any money from the shady d
you're said to have made since coming
to Washington?

BUCHWALD: I'd like to take this op-
portunity to quash that ugly and un
founded smear once and for all. I've
known since the day I arrived that this

town is riddled with that kind of ec
tion: Tve heard all the stories
kickbacks from wh let

deriheccounter. payolls from free-spend
lobbyists. But Ive made no deals nor
have I of di

That of the main attractions

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PLAYBOY

that brought me to Washington, but so
far E haven't had any luck.

PLAY3OY: The American public feels it
has the right to know the nct worth of

everyone who works in Washington.
So whats yours? Remember, youre
under oath.

BUCHWALD: ] dont think it's dr Lo

ask that question, What you really want
to know is my net debt. 1 am in debt to
the ume of $135,000. That makes me a
pretty substantial citizen, 1 think, even
in Washington.

PLAYBOY: Fair. But how much have
you got salted away in your wife's name?
BUCHWALD: If you must know, my wile’s
in debt even more than I am, but only
because she has more time to work at it.
1 don't have too much time to get into
debt because I'm away at the office all
day
PLAYBOY: When you first arrived in
Washington, you announced you would
be going back to Europe in two years.
Your time is up, yet you're still here,
nd there's a grim rumor going around
Washington that you intend to stay on
indefinitely. Why have you gone back on
your word?

BUCHWALD: not allowed to leave.
The bank has my passport. I've fallen so
much in debt the last two years, I
couldn't go back even if E wanted 1. It
should be like Russia here: They should
keep your wife and kids, but they should
let you go abroad.

PLAYBOY: Have the banks really
you trouble?

BUCHWALD: Only when I tried to re-
pay a loan that wasn't due yet. They got
Very sore because you're not sup-
posed 10 repay a loan, only borrow
morc. They've got a beuer system. in
ance, where the banks never lend you
aney. Nobody likes to keep money in
French banks, You go to a mattress com-
pany and they lend you money out of a
mattress. People leave their mattresses
with mattress companies and thats how
they get interest on their savings.
PLAYBOY: You keep comparing America
unfavorably with other countries. Isn't
the U.S.A. good enough for you?
BUCHWALI If its good cnough for
Billie Sol Estes, it’s good enough [or me.
The only reason I prefer Europe is that
over there, if you get clipped, or people
are nasty to you, you can always blame
foreigner. But when you get
clipped or people are nasty to you here,
there's no one to blame but a fellow
American—and I love my country too
much to stoop to that. And then there's
the problem of keeping up with the
Joneses here in America. There was no-
body named Jones next door when I
lived in Paris. But now we live next door
10 a family named Du Pont.

PLAYBOY: Are you implying that Ameri-

I'm

ven

some

cans are more materialistic than Euro-
pens
BUCHWALD: Not all of them. I've dis-

covered tiee groups of Americans who
arent interested in money at all, and
because of that they're the. ones who
really control the county. I mean the
plumbers, wee surgeons and electricians.
You con offer them any kind of money
and they still won't show up. E have
tried to bribe these people to fix some
thing, and they still wouldn't fix it
They just feel they're. professionals, and
they don't have to come if they don't
want to. T respect that,

PLAYBOY: We have the feeling—not for
the fst time—that you're being in-
sincere. Isn't anything sacred to you?
BUCHWALD: Only sex. That's the only
thing people seem to hold dear here in
America, So 1 never try to make fun of
sex. I did a column once about sex that
made people angry. Tt was about sex
the college boy. T took vey to
out if college boys believe in prem.

relations, and T found om they don't. I
asked my six-yearold son how he felt
about it— he's planning to go to college

someds and he told me he didn't be-
lieve in it. ] extrapolated my results
from this sampling. 1 should add that I

don't happen to shave his narrow-mind
ed views, My own philosophy is the same
Hugh Hefner's. Whatever he says in
his Philosophy is my philosophy. Fm a
hip urban male, and he's about my age.
So how come I dont make out like
he docs?
PLAYBOY: M
smoke.
BUCHWALD: T don't think so. But un-
til the Surgeon General's report. came
out, I might have been inclined to agree.
Until then, I was treated like a leper, I

be its those cigars you

was shunned by hostesses, pushed
around by airline stewardesses, held in
contempt by dogs and children, perse

cuted in my own home. It was a lonely
life; like all cigar smokers, T had 10
choose between cigars and girlfriends. T
chose ci € cheaper, they last
Tonger, and you can keep them fresh in
humidor, And it happened: The
Surgeon Gencral's report came out, and
all of a sudden I was in and all those
suave cigaretic smokers with tiuoos on
their hands were out. Overnight 1 be-
came a social lion. Hostesses were inwo-
ducing me by saying. "Fd Tike you to
meet Mr. Buchwald. He smoked cigars
before the Surgeon. General's report
came out.” And ladies were aski e to
offer them ciguillos.

PLAYZOY: And then?

BYCHWALS: Then they would ask me for a
light and walk away. Do vou think T
should write a letter to The Playboy
Adviser?

PLAYSOY: Try Dear Abby. We'd rather
not get any further into your personal
Lfe, if you don't mind. But while we
on the subject of the Su
report. do you really think th
between cigarette smoking and cancer?

the

then

BUCHWALD: Probably so, but I think
there's a much greater relationship be
tween smoking and mental illness. If
people cat smoke, they go crazy. lm
less concerned about people getúng can.
cer than. going nuts.

PLAYBOY: Speaking of going nuts, how
did you begin as a humorist?
BUCHWALD: f think it began when I
was born, When the doctor slapped
on my bottom, someone said T Lighed
instead of cried. The reason E laughed

as if T hadn't, 1 would have cri Ever
since that thrashing, however, Tve
had this hostility boiling inside mc.

When I was a kid, we couldn't get switch-
blades so we told jokes instead. My first
newspaper work was editing the family

gossip when T was || years old. I
was a foster child and 1 figured there
weren't many foster children in the

newspaper business, so I felt I was get-
ting in on the ground floor.

PLAYBOY: When people asked you what
you wanted to be when you grew up,

what did you say?
BUCHWALD: I «ii ] wanted to be a
syndic mnist for the Herald Trib-

une in Paris and Washington
PLAYBOY: How did you finally get the
job?

BUCHWALD: I went to the Herald
Tribune onc day and said, "When T was
a kid E always dreamed that one day T
would be a syndicated columnist for the
Herald Tribune in Paris and Wash
ton.” The man who interviewed me said,
"So be it”

PLAYBOY: Now that you've made it,
how docs it feel to be famous?
BUCHWALD: I like it. I think everybody

should be famous, You get to see doc-
tors you wouldn't ordinarily sce. You get
hotel rooms when there aren't supposed
10 be any left. Restaurant owners send
over botes of wine, and girls are con
ching you out. Of course, this
never happens to me, but Bobby Baker
happens to him all the time.
PLAYBOY: Like Baker, do you feel you've
left your mark on Washington?
BUCHWALD: You know, Pennsylvania Ave-
nue was a dirt road when I arrived, and
now its a paved street. I like 10 think |
thing to do with that, which is
monument. enough for me.

PLAYBOY: Are you sur
BUCHWALD: Well, I wouldn't mind

had soi

ting the Nobel Prize in literature. That's
what Fin working for at the moment
PLAYBOY: When you've won it, what
then?

BUCHWALD: Well, I hear they've dis
covered gold in California, 1 might go
out there, But 1 have no real plans. By

the way, everything Pye said to you is
strictly oll the record.

PLAYBOY: Many thanks, Mr. Sahl—and
yest assured we won't betray your

confidence.

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in car buyers planning to go Convertible. And when it comes to high-priced Foreign makes, PLAYBOY
ownership is over six times the nation’s average. Like to see your entry take off? Shift it into PLAYBOY.
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THE MAN WITH
THE GOLDEN GUN

there was little question about it:
james bond was a sick man—yet there was a final,
deadly mission for him to perform

Part One of the final novel

By IAN FLEMING

THE SECRET SERVICE holds much that is kept secret even from
very senior officers in the organization. Only M and his
Chief of Staff know absolutely everything there is to know.
The latter is responsible for keeping the Top Secret record
known as The War Book so that, in the event of the death

of both of them, the whole story, apart from what is avail-
able to individual Sections and Stations, would be available
10 their successors.

One thing that James Bond, for instance, didn't know,
was the machinery at Headquarters for dealing with the
public, whether friendly or otherwise—drunks, lunatics,
bona fide applications to join the Service, and enemy agents
with plans for penetration or even assassi

ion

On that cold, clear morning in November he was 10 see
the careful cogwhecls in motion.

The girl at the switchboard at the Ministry of Defense
flicked the switch to HOLD and said to her neighbor, “It's
another nut who says he's James Bond. Even knows his code
number, Says he wants w speak to M. personally."

"The senor girl shrugged. The switchboard had had quite
a few such calls since, a year before, James Bond's death
on a mission to Japan had been announced in the press.
"There had even been one pestiferous woman who, at every
full moon, p ges from Bond from Uranus
where it seemed he had got stuck while awaiting entry into
heaven. She said, “Put him through 10 Li

The Liaison Section was the first cog in the machine,
the first sieve. The operator got back on the line: "Just a
moment, sir. I'll put you on to an officer who may be able
to help you.”

James Bond, sitting on the edge of his bed, said,
“Thank you.”

He had expected some delay before he could establish
his identity, He h warned to expect it by the charm:
ing "Colonel Boris" who had been in charge of him for
the past few months after he had finished his weatment in
the Juxurious Institute on the Nevsky Prospekt in Le
grad. A man’s voice came on the line, "Captain. Walker
speaking Can 1 help you?"

James Bond spoke slowly and clearly. “This is Command-
er James Bond speaking Number 007. Would you put me
through to M, or his secretary, Miss Moneypenny. I want
to make an appointment.”

Cap

ssed on mi

1 Walker pressed two buttons on the side of his

They threw themselves on Bond and even à
they seized him his head fell forward on his chest.

telephone. One of them switched on a tape recorder for the use of his department, the other

ach at Scotland Yard that he

lerted one of the duty officers in the Ac
should listen to the conver tail on the caller. It was now up
10 Captain Walker, who w ight cx-prisoner-ol-war interrog:
Inclligence, to keep the subject talking for as near five minutes as possible, He said, “I'm
her"
James Bond patiently repeated the Regent number which was the tside line for the Se
cret Service, Together with so much else, he had forgotten it, but Colonel Boris had known it and
te it down among the small print on the [ront page of his forged British passport
me was Frank Westmacott, company director
said Captain V

1 Room of the Special Br:
ion, trace the call, and at once put

face

» extremely b

tor from Mil-

1 don't know ei

her of these two people. Are vou sure you've got the right

Yes. alker sympathetically. "We seem to have got that part of it right. But Fm
1 can't place these people you want to talk to. Who exactly are they? This Mr. Emm, for in-
t think we've got anyone of that name at the M
“Do you want me to spell it out? You realize this is an open I
a Walker was rather impressed by the confidence in the speaker's voice. He pressed an-

and, so that Bond would hear it, a telephone bell rang. He said, “H
There's someone on my other line.” Captain Walker got on to the hi

tistry.””

other butt

On a moment,
1 of his Section

would you

Sorry, sir. I've
v and I've

xt a chap on who says he’s James Bond and wants to talk to M. I know it sounds
one through. the usual motions with the Special Branch, and so on, but would you
for a minute? Thank you, sir."

» rooms away a harassed man, who was the Chief Security Officer for the Secret Service, said
nd pressed a switch. A m

crazy
mind lisieni

Tw
“Blast!”
very still. He badly necded a ci
atic who called himself James Bond. Captain Walker's voice c
rry. Now then. This man Mr. Emm you want to talk to. l'm si

rophone on his desk came to life. The Chief Security Officer sat
Ik.
me over at full sire

and to the lu
gth.
e we needn't worry about security.

rette, but his room was now “live” to Captain W:

n s0

Could you be more specilic
James Bond frowned. He didn’t know that he had frowned and he wouldn't have been able to
Imiral Sir Miles

explain why he had done so. He said, and lowered his voice
Messervy. He is head of a department in your Ministry. The number of his
on the eighth floor. He used to have
neue. Shall I give you the Chief of Sta
what'll be the main dish on the menu in the cante

The Chief Security Officer picked up the direct telephone to Capta
mes Bond, 7D. Sh
up the green telephone. "Yes, s
“1 don't like that bit abc
cel that. Make it the *
ence. And the people on that Japanese isi

plicably
m used to be twelve

1 Miss Moneypenny. Good-looking girl. Bru-
it's Wednesday. Shall 1 tell you
? It should be steakand-kidney pudding.”

n Walker. Captain Walker
"tbe a minute.” He picked

said to J

There's the other telephone aga

t the steak-and-kidney pudding, Pass him on to the Hard Man. No.
ig odd about 007's death. No body. No solid
id always seemed to me to be playing it pretty close

oft. There was always someth

to the chest. The stoneface act. Its just possible. Keep me informed, would you?

Captain Walker got back to James Bond. "Sorry about that. Its being a bu
this inquiry of yours. Afraid I can't help you myself. Not.
is Major Townsend, He should be a

y day, Now then,

y part of the M

istry. The man

ou want
ble to locate this man you want to see. Got a pencil? Irs num-

her forty-four Kensington Cloisters. Got th; Kensington double five, double five. Give me te in.
utes and TH have a word with him and see if he can help. All right
James Bond said dully, “That's very kind of you.” He put down the telephone. He waited ex-

actly ten minutes and picked up the receiver and asked for the number.

James Bond w 1 told him to do so. Bond’s file in the
K.G.B. Archive described him as a high liver, so, on arial in London, he must stick to the K.G.B.
image of the high life. Bond went down in the lift to the Arlington Strcet entrance. A man at the
hewsst x. When Bond went down the shallow
nonllex with a telescopic lens clicked
ng goods entrance and, in due course, the
followed Bond's taxi while a man inside the van reported briclly to the Action Room of the
inch.

Number 44 Kensington Cloisters was a dull

ig at the Ritz Hotel. Colonel Boris hi

stay

nd got a good profile of him with a buttonhole M

id asked the commissionaire for

steps to the street à
Red Roses laundry van at the neighbor

away busily from

same v
Special Bi

red brick. It had been

ictori,
t had once been the headquarters of the Empi

ision in gri

chosen [or its purpose because League for Noise

Abatement, and

entrance still bore the brass plate of this long-defunct o

vation, the empty
us OF
car exit in-

shell of which l

mmonwealth Rela

d been purchased by the Secret Service through the C

deter

fice. It also had a spacious old-fashioned basement, re-equipped a n cells,

to a quiet mews.
The Red Roses Ii
off at a sedate speed to its g

ront door shut beh id then moved

dry van watched the nd James Bond a

rase not far from Scotland. Yard while the process of develop.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY
HOWARD MUELLER

Scaramanga got two

bullets into the

heart of his opponent
before the latter
could even fire a shot.

PLAYBOY

ing the Canonflex film went on in its
interior
Appointment
snd.” said Bond.
s. He's expecting you, sir. Shall I
take you i" The powerful
looking doorman pur the coat on a coat
ager and hung it up on one of a
row of hooks beside the door. As soon as
Bond safely closeted with Major
"ownsend, the coat would go swiftly to
story on the first loor wh its
provenance would be established from
the f Pocket
ld be removed for more leisure
Would you follow me,

lt was a narrow corridor of freshly
pained dapboard with a tall, single
dow which concealed the fluoroscope
cred automatically from beneath
the ugly patterned carpet. The findings
of its Xray eye would be fed into th
laboratory above the passage. The pas-
sage ended in two facing doors marked
"A" and “B.” The doorman knock
room B and stood aside for Bond toe

It was a pleasant, very light room,
close-carpeted in dove-gray Wi The
military prints on the cream walls we
expensively framed. A small, bright fire
burned under an Adam mantelpiece
which bore a number of silver trophies
and two photographs in leather frames—
one of a nice-looking woman and the
other of three nice-looking children.
There was a central table with a bowl of
flowers and two comfortable club chairs
on either side of the fire. No desk or
filing cabinets, nothing official-looking.
A tall man. as pleasant as the room, got
up from the far chair. dropped The
Times on the carpet beside it, and came
forward with a welcoming smile. He
held out a firm, dry hand.

i an.

"Come in. Come in. Take a pew. Ciga-
rette? Not the ones T seem to remember
you favor. Just the good old Senior
Servic

Major Townsend had carefully pre-
pared the loaded remark—a reference to
Bond's liking for the Morland Specials
with the three gold rings. He noted
Bond's apparent lack of comprehension.
Bond took a cigarette and accepted a
light. They sat down facing each other.
Major Townsend crossed his legs com-
fortably. Bond sat up straight. Major
"Townsend said, "Well, now. How can I
help. vou

Across tlie corridor, in room A, a cold
Olhce of Works cube with no furniture
but a hissing gas fire, an ugly desk with
two facing wooden chairs under the

ked Bond's reception by ihe
the ex-police superintend-
ent ("ex". because of a brutality case in
Glasgow for which he had taken the
would have been very different. Th.
the man who went under the name of
Mr. Robson would have given him
the full intimidation treatment—harsh,

with Major Town-

was

the labo

tion of

an ex bric.

dust wor

ly research.

was the Soft M

bullying interrogation, threats of
onment for false representation and God
knows what else, and, perhaps. if he had
shown signs of hostility or developing a
nuisance value, a little judicious rou:
ing-up in the basement.

Such was the ultimate sieve which
sorted out the wheat from the chaff from
those members of the public who desi

cess to “The Secret Service" There
were other people in the building who
dealt with the letters. Those writte
pencil or in multicolored and those
enclosing a phot ed u
swered, Those tha

impris-

threatened or were
litigious were referred to the Special
Branch. The solid, serious onces were
passed, with a comment from the best
graphologist in the business. to the Li

Section at Headquarters for “further
Parcels went automatically, and
to the Bomb Disposal Squad at
Knightsbridge Barracks. The eye of the
needle was narrow. On the whole, it dis-
criminated appropriately. It way an ex-
pensive setup, but it is the first duty of a
Secret Service to remain not only secret
but secure.

There was no reason why James
Bond, who had always been on the oper-
ative side of the business, should know
anything about the entrails of the Serv-
ice. any more than he should have un-
derstood the mysteries of the plumbing
or electricity supply of his flat in Chek
sea. or the working of his own kidneys.
loncl Boris, however, had known the

1 Colon
WIEN described die: enini
RE [dines Bond) tet cipes Lets He
was "cleared" and was allowed access to
the office of his former Chief.

So now James Pond paused before he
replied to Major Townsend's question
oua ow lier caulal be al help. He
looked at the Soft Man and then into
the fire. He added up the accuracy of the
description he bad been given of Major
Townsend's appearance and, before he
id what he had been told to say, he
gave Colonel Boris 90 out of 100. The
big. friendly face, the wide-apart, pale
brown eyes, bracketed by the wrinkles of
million smiles, ihe military mustache,
the rimless monocle dangling from a
thin black cord, the brushed-back, thin-
ning sandy hair, the immaculate double-
breasted blue suit, stiff white collar and
brigade tie—it was all there. But what
Colonel Boris I was that the
friendly eyes were as cold and steady as
gun barrels and that the lips were thin
nd scholarly.

Us really
"m
and

James Bond said patiently: “I

quite simple. Fm who I say I am. T
doing what T naturally would do,
that’s report back to M.”

"Quite. But you must re (a sym-
pathetic smile) "that you've been out of
y a year. You've been

alize”

officially posted as g, believed
killed.’ Your obituary has even ap-
peared in The Times. Have vou any evi-
dence of identity? I admit that vou look
very much like your photographs, bur
you must sce that we have to be very
sure before we pass you on up the
ladder.”
Miss Mary Goodnight was my sec
rey. She'd recognize me all right. So
would dozens of other people at HQ”
"Miss Goodnight's been posted abroad.

Can vou give me a brief description of
HQ. just the main. geography?"

Bond did so.

“Right. Now, who was a Miss Ma
Freudenstei

“Yes. she’s dead:

“Thought she wouldn't last long. She
ki for K.G.B. Sec-

was a double, wa

n One Hundred controlled her. 1
wouldn't get any thanks for telling you
any mor

Major Towmend had been primed

with this very top secret question. He
had been given the answer, more or less
s Bond had put it. This was the clinch
er. This had to be James Bond. “Well
e getting on fine. Now, it only re
is to find out you've come
from and where you've been all these
months and | won't keep vou any
longer."

"Sony. I can only tell that to M
personally."

“I see” Major Townsend put on
thoughtful expression. "Well, just let me
make a telephone call or iwo and FH sce
what can be done." He got to his feet
"Seen today's Times?” He picked it up
and handed it vo Bond. f had been spe-

Major Townsend shut the door be
hind him and went across the passage
and through the door marked "A" where
he knew that "Mr. Robson" would be
alone. "Sorry to bother vou, Fred. Can 1
use your scrambler?” The chunky man
behind the desk grumted through the
stem of his pipe and remained bent over
the midday Evening Slandard racing
news.

Major Town:

r and

nd picked up the green
was pur through t0 the

jor Townsend speaking
He listened. carefully.
id got through to the
Chief Security Officer at Headquartes
“Well, sir, I think it must be 007. Bit
thinner than his photographs. FI be gi
ing you his prints as soon as he's gone
Wearing his usual rig—dark-blue single
breasted suit. white shirt, thin black
knitted silk tie, black casuals—but they
all look brand-new. Raincoat bought yes-
terday from Burberry’s. Got the Freud-
question right, but says he
won't say anything about himself except
to M personally. But whoever he is. 1
(conlinued overleaf)

^I don't know—must be some sort of advertising gimmick!

PLAYBOY

don't like it much. He fluffed on his spe-
cial cigarettes. He's got an odd sort of

glazed, sort of faraway look, and the
scope shows that he’s carrying a gun in
his righthand coat pocket—curious sort

ption, doesn't seem to have got
butt to it. Pd say he's a sick man, I
Idn’t personally recommend that M
should see him, but I wouldn't know
how we're to get him to talk unless he
does.” He paused. "Very good, sir. I'll
stay by the telephone. I'm on Mr. Rob-
son's extension."

silence in the room. The
two men didn't get on well together.
jor Townsend gazed into the gas fire,
wonde bout the man next door.
The telephone burred. “Yes, sir? Very
good, sir. Would your secretary send
long a car from the pool? Thank you,

Bond was sitting in the same upright
posture, The Times still unopened in
his hand. Major Townsend said cheerful-
ly, "Well, that’s fixed. Message from M
that he’s tremendously relieved. you're
all right and hell be free in about half
an hour. Car should be here in ten min-
utes or so. And the Chief of Staff says
he hopes youl be free for lunch
afterward.

James Bond smiled for the first time.
It was a thin smile that didn’t light up
his eyes. He said, "That's very kind of
him. Would you tell him I'm afraid I

"The Chief of Staff stood in front of
M's desk and said firmly, "I really
wouldn't do it, sir. T can sce him, or
someone else can. I don't like the smell
of it at all. T think 007's round the bend
‘There's no doubt it's him all right. The
prints have just been confirmed by Chief
of Security. And the pictures are all
right—and the recording of his voice.
But there are too many things that don't
ld up. This forged passport we found
in his room at the Ritz, for instance. All
right. So he wanted to come back into
the country quietly. But it's t00 good a
job. Typical KGR. sample. And the
lost entry is West Germany, day before
yesterday. Why didn't he report to Sta-
tion B or W? Both those Heads of Station
are friends of arly O16
lin. And why didn't he go and have a
Took at his flat? He's got some sort of a
housekeeper there, Scots woman called
whos always sworn he was still
and has kept the place going on her
savings. The Ritz is sort of ‘stage’ Bond.
And these new clothes. Why did he have
10 bother? Doesn't matter what he was
wearing when he came in through Do-
ver. Normal thing, if he was in rags.
would have been to give me a ring—he
had my home number—and get me to fix
him up. Have a few drinks and run over
his story and then report here. Inst
of that, we've got this typical penet
approach and Security worried as hell.”

The Chief of Staff. paused. He k
he wasn't getting through. As soon
had begun, M had swiveled his chair
ideways and had remained, occasion:
sucking at an unlighted pipe, ga
moodily out through the window at the
jagged sky line of London. Obstinately,
the Chief of Staff concluded, "Do you
think you could leave this one to me,
sir? 1 can get hold of Sir James Molony
in no time and have 007 put into The
Park for observation and treatment. II
all be done very gently. VIP handling.
and so on. I can say you've been called
to the Cabinet or something. Security
says 007's looking a bit thin. Build
ap. Convalescence, and all that. T
can be the excuse. If he cuts up rough,
we can always give him some dope. He's
a good friend of mine. He won't hold it
nst us. He obviously necds to be got
ck in the groove—if we can do it,
that is.”

M slowly swiveled h

chair round. He
ied face that
showed the suain of being the equiva
lent of Number Two ihe Secret Serv-
ice for ten years and more. M smiled.
“Thank you, Chief of Sı Bur I'm
afraid it's not as easy all that. I sent.
007 out on his last job to shake him out
of his domestic worries. You remember
how it all came about. Well, we had no
idea that what seemed a fairly peaceful
ission was going to end up in a pitched
battle with Blofeld. Or that 007 was
going to vanish off the face of the ea
for a year. Now we've got to know what
happened during that year. And 007's
quite right. I sent him out on that mis-
sion and he's got every right to report
back to me personally. I know 007. He's
a stubborn fellow. If he says he won't
tell anyone else, he won't. Of course I
want to hear what happened to him.
isten in, Have a couple of good
. If he turns rough, come
and get him. As for his gun"—M ges
tured vaguely at the ceiling —"I can look.
after that. Have you tested the damned
thing?”
Yes, sir. It worl à
M held up a hand. “Sorry, Chief of
Staff, It's an order.” A light winked on
the intercom. “That'll be him. Send him
straight in, would you?
“Very good, sir.” The Cl
went out and closed the doo
mes Bond was standing smiling
vaguely down at Miss Moneypenny. §
looked distraught. When James Bond
shifted his gaze and said “Hullo, Bil
he still wore the same di
didn't hold out his hand. Bill T
said, with a heartiness that rang with
cars, “Hullo, James.
Long time " At the same time,
out of the corner of his eye, he saw Miss
Moneypenny give a quick, emphatic
shake of the head. He looked he
ight in the eyes. "M would like to see

looked up at the tired, wor

f of Staff

Miss Moneypenny lied desperatel
"You know M's got a Chiefs of Still
meeting at the Cabinet Olfice in hve
minutes?”

"Yes. He says you must somehow get
him out of it.” The Chief of Stall turned
to James Bond. “OK, James. Go ahead
Sorry you can't manage lunch. Come
nd have a gossip after M's finished with

you."
Bond said, “That'll be fine." He
squared his shoulders d walked

through the door over which the red
light was already burning.

Miss Moneypenny buried her face in
her hands. "Oh, Bill" she said desper-
ately. "There's something wrong with
him. I'm frightened.”

Bill Tanner said, “Take it easy, Pe
ny. I'm going to do what I can." He
walked quickly into his office
the door. He went over to his desk and
pressed a switch. M's voice came imo the
TOO! “Hullo, James Wonderful to
have you back. Take a scat and tell me
all about it”

Bill Tanner picked up the office tele-
phone and asked for Head of Security.

James Bond took his usu
across the desk from M. A storm of mem:
ories whirled through his consciousness
like badly cut film on a projector that
had gone crazy. Bond closed his mind to
the storm. He must concentrate on wl
he had to say, and do, and on nothing
else.

“Tm afraid there's a lot I still can't re-
member, sir. 1 got a bang on the head"
(he touched his right temple) “some
where along the line on that job you
sent me to do in Japan. Then there
blank until I got picked up by the police
on the waterfront at Vladivosiok. No
idea how I got there. They roughed me
up a bit and in the process I must have
got another bang on the head, because
suddenly I remembered who I was and

at l wasn't a Japanese fisherm:
which was what I thought I was. So then.
of course the police passed me on to the
local branch of the K.C.B.—its a big
ay building on the Morskaya
ng the harbor near the railway sta
tion. by the way—and when they belino-
graphed my prints to Moscow there w:
a lot of excitement and they flew me
there from the field just
north of the town at Vto Rechka
and spent weeks interrogating me—or
trying to, rather, because I couldn't re-
member anything except when they
prompted me with something they knew
themselves and then I could give them a
few hazy details to add to their knowl-
edge. Very frustrating for them.

“Very,” commented M. A small frown
had gathered between his eyes. "And
you told them everything you could?
Wasn't that rather, er. generous of you?"

(continued on page 161)

nd sh

\
d" THOSE FRISKY
FRISCOTHEQUES

san francisco’s barbary coast boasts the undraped ultimate in discothèques

Above: A visitor'seye view of Broadway, main stem of North Beach's brightly neoned Strip which lectures all manner of entertainment
exotica. SR.O. crowds of bearded Beats, Berkeley baccalaureates and boisterous butler-and-egg men ore drown to ils espresso houses, poetry
corners, swim clubs and high-decibel-count twistras. One af Ihe lotter, the Peppermint Tree, below, offers an industrious, skir

minimelly clod waitresses, o Beatle-mapped rack-'n'-rall group ond c donce floor averflawing with dedicated devotees af Ihe watusi ond frug.

THE NEW BARBARY COAST

article BY HERBERT GOLD

baghdad-by-the-bay’s booming bohemia boasts a long,
lusty history of nonstop maverick exuberance

ONCE uron A TIME, runs the personal legend of every defrocked bohe
mian, there was my Greenwich Village, my Montmartre or St-Germain
des-Prés, my Barbary Coast and North Beach in San Francisco. In those
days art was liberated, the girls were also, food tasted good, the wine
was cheap, and we whiled away the hours between boning and dying
with eternal truth, beauty and rolls in the hay. What is your Charles
Street today, your Latin Quarter, your Westminster Place, your Near
North Side?

Mere commerce.

All gone

‘The nymphs have flown, the artists love money, the tourists have
moved in, and I eat Tums.

So goes one sad tale for every generation. The richer and more excit
ing the bohemian encampment, the richer and riper grieve the survi
vors as they shuffle back and forth before the fire. Those who mourn
are indeed attuned to reality—their youth is fled, and Tums for the
tummy. In San Francisco's North Beach and Barbary Coast—these two
places are interpenetrated areas, overlapping states of mind—one sees,
almost every day, the fading of some fine old beacon of bohemian cul
ture. An Italian grocery store becomes a night club specializing in top
less dancing: the Black Cat, one of the oldest fag bars in the Western
Hemisphere, sweeps up its sawdust, its free lunch and its squeaking
pants, and locks its swinging door forever (O where have all the flowers
gone? Answer: Just down the street.); The Movie, show t iln
closes and then opens as The Movie, specializing in the new interna-
tional cinema; Madame Pucci's Travatore, a traditional lalian neigh
borhood bar, becomes the Admiral Duncan, decorated with travel
posters and the postcollege crowd; the (continued on page 76)

Top right: Woitress at the Sirip's Off-Broodway club olmost weors o net blouse sons bra while on duty during o lunch-hour foshion show
thot is more show thon foshion ond is heavily ottended by Son Froncisco's executive echelons, Above right: The Strips Mr. Wonderful club
boosts o still borer divertisement—o nude model being sketched by ortist Robert McClay. Subject-opproising potrons ore less interested in the

feots of McCloy. Below ond on opening poge: leggy Judy Mock, soid to be the originotor of the swim, demonstrates her speciolly ot D.J.’s
l > d
y
' - =
‘
z fd
1
` ^
- E

THE NUDE DISCOTHEQUE

san francisco’s wild swim clubs—the current craze
is an eye-filling, acrobatic, erotic indoor sport

GRANTED THAT A LANDLOCKED LASS undulating in a topless (and often
bottomless) swim suit is a far ery from rock-'n-roll idol Chubby
Checker mesmerizing adolescents with 1959's niftiest new dance, the
twist; nevertheless, San Francisco's swim clubs owe their existence to
twist pioneer Chubby’s initial cloris. Not since the Twenties has any
Jance had the impact of the twist and its progeny (bug, frug, hully
gully, pony, monkey. swim, watusi, et al.). The twist spent several post
Checker years as a teenage tribal rite before café society discovered
Gotham’s Peppermint Lounge, a somewhat raffish twist temple
that overnight became ultrain. The jet set took the twist to Europe,
which soon came up with a “twist” of its own—the discothèque. An
amalgam of deejay (disquaire) and dance floor, the discotheque was
born in Paris where devotees of le tweest made boites such as Chez
Regine, New Jimmy's and the original Whisky à GoGo de rigueur for
tourist. The GoGos Hollywood namesake added glassshowcased,
short-skirted watootsies, and a flock of facsimiles quickly appeared.
has its own favorite watering holes—Le Club, L'Inerdit, Il Mio
pheard's in New York, The Id in Chicago. But it remained for

sco's roisterous Barbary Coast to provide the final filip.

Fashion designer Rudi Gernreich's sensational topless bathing suit sup
plied the costume gimmick that turned a multitude of Barbary Coast
swim clubs into bare-bosom bistros. (The proliferating swim clubs
proved the major attraction—outside of Goldwater & Co.—at last year's
Republican Convention.) The twist and its exotic offshoots, prime tar-
gets for gloom-and-doom prophets, have been characterized as “neo
primitive dances of fear which foster segregation of the sexes.” as “sick
sex turned into a spectator sport" and as "symbols of a mad and often
frightening era.” Conversely, one sociologist has defended the prac
toners of the pony and such as "a new generation, anxious to
chieve its own independence and expression, adopting new sounds

and gyrations as its red badge of courage.

Above: Conspicuously contilevered Corol Dodo, shown very much in the swim of things, is o pioneer held by West Coosters in equal esteem
with Pike, Fremont, the Forty-Niners and Lily Longtry. Miss Dodo (39-26-36) wos the very first of the swim girls to don designer Rudi Gern
reich's topless bething suit. No dumb Dodo, Carol knew o good thing when she didn’t see it, hos been o mojor oltroction ot the Strips
Conder Club ever since. Her breost strokes have done more to populorize the lotes! swim suits thon Eleonor Holm ond Esther Williams combined.

only Orientol swimmer. She

gontvon-o

PLAYBOY

NEW BARBARY COAST

coexistence Bagel Shop is now

dress shop run by a tartly witty Assyrian
model: the rows of girlie wholesalers
re now interior decorators’ emporiums;

mique shops have become
or nude-models-
-sketchesto-jarz, shops
what is going on here? Like the
phoenix, tradition dies and is reborn—
but next door. And burns brightly, old
bohemian. The phoenix burns brightly.
To chart North Beach, which is,
ct, neither the northernmost part of
San Francisco nor beach, one needs the
map of a condition of spirit, the compass
of an intention about the world, and a
persistent dream of both grace and lust
just beyond the next blare of trumpet or
whine of bouzouki. North Beach is a
slanting hollow and a tipping bulge; it
is a hill and it lies between the hills; it is
a corner of the eternal kingdom of bohe-
here composed of an edge of ele-
gant Telegraph Hill, a pinch of noisome
Chinatown, a pastel and burlap swatch
of the beat encampment of upper Grant,
nd the great binding of a traditional
Italian settlement. (Basques and Filipi-
nos squeeze in, too. And Mexicans. And
White Anglo-Saxon Protestants.) The
main streets of North Beach are Grant,
Columbus and Broadway, and its pas-
sionate center is that frantic corner
where these three streets come banging
and sizzling together. If you stand in the
center of the strect, you might sec Ci
nese groceries, Basque eateries, a French
bar; swim dancers, callgirls, a mass of or-
thodontists on tour. a phalanx of female
impersonators prancing to work at Fi-
nochios; Hube the Cube entering the
Methedrine Palace, a cafeteria officially
named the Hotdog Palace, but more re-
nowned for the various stimulants and
calmants said to be consumed by its
dientele; the Condor, an energetic tav-
ern which is known as the G
Enrico’s:
self, which is as close to a Parisian side-
walk café as can be found west of Le
Havre: and El Cid, a wilder but Iess
woolly club which is known as the Tour-
ist's Condor; a semi-all-night drugstore.
selling aids to survival in a difficult
time; Mike’s Pool Hall, where the beat
nd the Italians and the society folk
meet and the floorshow seems to consist
of interracial couples cating minestron
the City Lights Book Shop, which is the
and metaphysical center of the
movement and a late-night

ing place for both deep readers
who want to meet deep r
Vesuvio Bar, whose motto is “We Are
Itching to Get Away from Portland, Or-
cgon,” and it has booths for psychi-
tists; La Bodega, a Spanish restaurant,
d the "Tosca, which has non-cightbar
music on its jukebox, and an all-night
newsstand; and the uaflic and the cries

and fine

| Enricos Coffeehouse

(continued from page 73)

id
and. And.
And by this time, you had better have
lived a full life, because you are dead in
the traffic. You might as well move along

in North Beach, because it does not
stand. still for anyone.
slope a little, there is a

s once proper-
st. There are
still iron scaffoldings at both ends of this
block, relics of the time when it was de-
fended from the att
cn, vigilante committees, children
temperance socicties, and there once
were gates, guarded by private and some-
times by official policemen. The emplace-
ments still stand as a hallowed memorial.

In France, at about the time of the
Barbary Coast's first fine flowering in
n Francisco, literary and aristocratic
celebrities used to amuse themselves by
the launching of deluxe courtesans, who
were known as horizontales. These d
dics rescued poor but dishonest young
girls—those whose beauty merited rescu-
ng—from the “vain, obsolete and
moral hope of marriage”; they launched
them as stars in the music halls, et cet-
era, with asis on the et cetera. A
sugary ctivity is known
in Greek as the myth of Pygmalion and

1 English as My Fair Lady. In San
Francisco, the “pretty waiter girls" of
Miss Piggott’s, Shipwreck Kelly's or The
anghai Chicken were not expected to
know Zola or Flaubert personally, and
the rain on the plain fell mainly on the
miners and sailors who were doped,
drugged, head-busted. or otherwise pe
suaded to acquiesce in the alchemic task
of filtering cold money from hot bodies.
Sometimes they were merely persuaded
by love: a man long on the wet sea, long
in the dusty gold fields, much values a
lady's company. Ye Olde Whore Shoppe.
as Madame Lucy named her establish-
ment. gave good value and expected
much in return. Both fun and blood ran
in the streets. The mulatto procuress,
Mammy Pleasants, who treated both
girls and clients generously, married well
and lived long and so honorably that she
maged to die poor.

Mainly the Barbary Coast was ruled
by the Sydney Ducks, convicts from Aus-
tralia who adopted the fronti
of gallantry toward the pretty waiter
girls, but sometimes grew wroth and
murdered their clients. In return, the
stable citizens of San Francis
ally rose in their intolerance, formed a
vigilance committee to string up a few
of the Ducks, and then subsided with
sense of civic pride into a dignified
promenading in the cleaned-up Barbary
Coast. It revived. It filled an acute nee
It tried to fill the acute needs of the
former vigilantes, too.

A document of 1856 describes the sur

render of James Casey and Charles Gor
to the Vigalance Comittee. Belle Cor
said to her husband, "Goodbye, Charle
Tve done all I could,” and then he was
taken olf to be cannoned. The same doc
describes one of the murders com
ted by James Casey. He approached
James King, asked if he was
Prepare to defend yoursel
same time fired from within his cloak.
Mr. King said, “Oh God! Oh God! I
am shot!” The document adds, "He
turned toward the Pacific Express, still

utu
little or no attention to Casey, entered
th Office.” Presumably he

will and then died. The
Morning Globe does not
commit itself on this point. After all,
death is ble for all.

Tong wars, gang fights, race riots, fires
and. of course, the famous earthquake of
1906 all contributed to the jauntiness of
life on the Barbary Coast, and kept the
population down.

As the years passed, tidal waves of re-
form swept over San Francisco: some-
times the payoff did not connect, and so
brothels mutated into bars, into bur
que into emporiums of the
nockout drop: and sometimes the tide
went out—back to brothels again; back
ly, as a by
product of Puritanism and venereal d
military pressure closed up the

wrote out his
San Francisco

More or less. Almost. Remember the B-
girl? Gone, gone.

But even now, the Pacific street looks
a little like the old Barbary Coast in the
watery sunlight of die San Fi

ancisco secretary strolls to work. How-
ever, the Eureka Music Hall and Pincus
and Magee’s Seattle Saloon have given
way to interior decorators, advertising
agencies and theater-in-the-round, square
dinner included. Some fading, fainuy
ribald murals still smile upon
the street plaster cupids beckon to
the shades of V-12 wainces, but. Herman
Miller chairs and Tiffany lamps offer
themselves on the floors where once a
pretty waiter girl gently clubbed a Far
East or Around-the-Horn sailor in order
10 persuade him to share with her the
benefits of world trade. Even today, the
strect is a mixture of styles. Its style is
the carefree and empirical joke of styles
grande luxe and strict ceramics, Em
pire and Old West. Just inside the gates,
one of San Francisco's most barbarously
bohemian restaurants, the Brighton Ex
press, run by a jolly and irascible coupl
John and Joanna Draeger, still delights
the cheap livers and the fldneurs. There,
ly dinner, cocktail waitresses and
writers, members of the Fair Employ
ment Practice Committee

performers and dead beats
(continued on page 181)

mu down

at e:

nters,

STYLISH STOUT

he had to acquire the fattest uncle in all the realm and his brain addled at the prospect

said H. C. Pu
proprietor of Wee Tots, that powerful
organ that has done so much to mold
thought in the nurscrics of England.
said Richard ("Bingo") Little,
nd-coming young cditor.

"on, Mk. LITTLE,"

Si
is up

“You are no doubt familiar with the
named
Kirk Rockaway. He wrote Kootchy the
Kitten, Peter the Pup and Hilda the
Hen
builder Wee Tots needs. He is visiting

work of an American author

He is superb, just the circulation

London and would like you to dine with
him at Barribault's Hotel tonight to dis-

cuss ching

fiction

“Yes, Mr. Purkiss.”
“By the way, he is a strict tectotaler,
so if he offers you alcoholic refreshment

it might be judicious to decline
‘Oh?’
He spoke gloomily, but his gloom was

said Bingo.

not entirely due to the bleak prospect of
a snortless meal with a man who wrote
and kittens. At the
moment when Mr. Purkiss had entered
his office he had been thinking of the
Fat Uncles Contest at the Drones Club,
and whenever he did that, the iron en-

books about hens

tered into his soul.
The Fat Uncles Contest had come into

By P. G. WODEHOUSE

being some years previously when an in
nt Drone, himself the possessor of

extremely fat uncle, had noticed how
y of his fellow members had fat un-
From there to inaugurating a
yearly tourney had been but a step. The
incchanics of the thing were simple. You
entered your others entered
theirs, the names were shaken up

too.

uncle,

na
hat and the punter drawing the name of
the fattest uncle secured the. jackpot
The judging was done by McGarry, the
club bartender, who had the uncanny
gift of being able to

ounce the

estimate (o an
(continued on page 152)

FROM-HLISGS?/1
WITH Love

how to take steppes in the right
direction toward regal repasts

food by THOMAS MARO

CENTURIES AGO, long before Lenin introduced the low-
est common denominator to Russia, statussecking
ars, hungry for both food and culture, turned to
France for the fine art of cooking. One of Peter the
Great's most valuable souvenirs picked up during a
trip to western Europe was Parisian chef. However,
when Frenchmen in large numbers went uninvited to
Russia during the Napoleonic campaign, the Russians,
as every schoolboy knows, taught them a lesson in
deepfreczing. One of the exhibits in the object lesson
was the eminent French chef Laguipitre, who had
been cooking for French Marshal Murat and who re-
grettably expired in the snowy reaches of Vilna with-
out leaving a single recipe.
Two years later, in a friendlier
I, who had been dining at the Paris mansion of Mon-
sicur de Talleyrand, ate so well that he asked if he,
too, couldn't take back the chef as his souvenir. There
was a liule delay, but eventually Talleyrand fixed
things up, and the great (continued on page 154)

a, Czar Alexander

PLAYBOY

“Jeez, did we ever goof!”

THE FORCE OF HABIT

ON MOLOING EXECUTIVE PROCEDURES WHILE AVOIDING
THE HAZARDS OF BEING A BY-THE-BOOK BUSINESSMAN

ARTICLE BY J. PAUL GETTY ruere was a rime when J was a fairly heavy

cigarete smoker. Then, several years ago, I was on a vacation and motoring through France. One

dy alter driving for hours through some particularly foul rainy weather, I stopped for the
a hotel in a small town in the Auvergne.

Tired after the long and difficult drive, I had dinner and went up to my room. 1 undressed,
got into bed and fell asleep almost immed

For some reason, I awoke about two A.t, acutely aware that I wanted a cigarette. Switching
on the light, I reached for the ciga
proved to be empty.

Annoyed—but still wanting a cigarette—I got out of bed and searched the pockets of the
clothes I had been wearing. The search proved fruitless, and I went on to grope through my
luggage in hopes that I might have accidentally left a pack of cigarettes in one of my suitcases
disappointed.

L knew the hotel bar and restaurant had closed long before and guessed that it would be
worse than useless to s 1 the crotchety night porter at such an hour. The only way I could
hape to obtain any cigarettes was by dressing and then going to the railroad station, which was
located at least six blocks away.

The prospect was not very pleasant. The rain still pelted down outside. My car was garaged
a considerable distance from the hotel and, in any event, I had been warned the garage closed
at midnight and did not reopen until six o'clock The chances of getting a taxi
were virtually nil.

All in all, it was clear that if I was to have the cigarette I wanted so badly, I would have to
walk to the railroad station—and back—through the pouring rain. But the desire to smoke
gnawed at me and, perversely, the more I contemplated the difficulties entailed in getting a cig-
rette, the more desperately L wanted to have one.

And so I took off my pajamas and started putting on my clothes. I was completely dressed
and reaching for my raincoat when I abruptly stopped and began to laugh—at myself. It had
suddenly struck me that my actions were illogical, even ludicrous.

There 1 stood, a supposedly intelligent human being, a supposedly responsible and fairly suc-
cessful businessman who considered himself sensible enough to give other people orders. Yet I
was ready to leave my comfortable hotel room in the middle of the night and slosh a dozen
blocks through a driving rainstorm for no other reason than that I wanted a ci
1 felt that I “had” to have one.

For the first time in my life, 1 was brought face to face with the r
veloped a habit so strong that I was willing—automatically and unthini
a very great deal of personal discomfort merely to satisfy it
ad of simply enjoying the pleasure of an occas

had grown completely out of hand and was ob:

terests, producing no commensurately beneficial results.
aly sharply aware of this, I rebelled mentally. I x
on. I considered it an excellent idea—and an ideal time
that was certainly doing me no good.

rette package I'd placed on the nighistand before retiring. It

Again I w

rette—because

ation that I had de-
ngly—to let myself in for

al smoke, I'd allowed myself to form a
usly operating contrary to my best in-

led only a moment to arrive at a
d place—to rid myself of a habit

Having made up my mind, I took the empty
crumpled it up and tossed it into the

igarette packet that still lay on the nightstand.
tebasket. Then I undressed, once more put on my pa-

mas and got back into bed
It was with a sense of relicf—even of triumph—that I switched off the light, closed my

nd listened to the rain beating against the windows of the room. In a few min s, I drifted off
d and contented sleep. E haven't smoked a cigareue—nor have I felt any desire to
smoke onc—sincc th

Now, I do not
the anecdote solely to show how,
it controlled me, rather than the other way around.

“Abeunt studia in mores" —' ices zealously pursued become habits,” Ovid wrote.
* declared Cicero. "Mighty is the — (continued on page 100)

into a soui

s an

ndictment of igarettes or smoking. I recount
my own case, a habit got out of control to the extent that

"Magna est vis consuetudinis

OLD MAN PULASI Te
INFAMOUS JAWBREARER BLACKMAIL

ONE who has ever experienced a
frstdegree, big-league, card-camy-
ing, bone-shattering toothache in a major
molar at three AM. in the quiet solitude
of night has stood at the very gates of
hell itself. There are no words in the
language that can adequately describe
the ebbing and swelling, ebbing and
swelling, then the rising to even greater
heights, then again deceptively receding,
only to turn again to the attack; the
nagging, dragging, thudding, screal
ache of a tooth that has faced more than
its share in a hard, rough-and-cumble
lifetime of JuJu Babics, root beer barrels,
jawbreakers, and countless other addict-
ive confections devoured during the in-
nocent days of childhood. Like all
sinners, orgiasts of all stripes, we look
back with tearful, bleary-eyed nostalgia
upon the very thing that reduced us
to shuddering, denture-ridden, cavity-
ked hulks Everywhere, daily,
dentists—cackling fiendishly—reap the
harvests sown years ago in penny-candy
stores across the
I remeber well the pustier whe sent
me down that long rocky road that led
finally to $765 worth of silver alloy and
ous plastic compounds which I now
carry in my skull as a mute reminder of
past, fleeting pleasures.

One afternoon recently, while staring
bleakly out of a dentists waiting-room
window, having wearied of ancient Na-
tional Geographics and Currier & Ives

ints, attempting to blot out of my con-
ss the muffled moans and yelps
of pain that were mingling with the Mu-
iny tortured inind—perhaps out of
some deep-hidden well of submerged
masochism—plucked from my vast file of
ter life experiences and dredged to
Old Man Pulaski and the
«breaker. Blackmail. While
ing my turn on The Rack, I began
to piece together the whole sordid tale.

Pulas blue-jowled, gimleteyed na
tive of the Midwest, operated a mer
tile establishment that was the Indi
steel town's version of the candy store.
Nobody ever called it by that name. It
was just "Pulaski's." On the side of his
red-brick, two-story store there was an
enormous Bull Durham sign
showed this great d
fully equipped bull looki
ace toward Chi

longingly, the kids gazed at the
king’s ransom of penny candies—the
juju babies, the root beer barrels,
the mary janes, the licorice pipes—
blissfully unaware that the laws of
human chicanery were about to shatter
their dreams of gustatory glory

nostalgia

By JEAN SHEPHERD

the suggestive inscription “Her Hero.”
It was under this sign that Old Man

Pulaski dispensed JuJu Babics, licorice

pipes, Mary Janes and jawbreakers, not

to mention Navy Cut Chewing Tobac
co, Mule Twist, Apple Plug, Eight Hour
Day Rough Cut, Mail Pouch, Copenha
gen Snuf and summer sausage, sliced
thin.

Penny candy is just about the very
frst purchase that any kid actually
makes himself{—that very first buy which
launches all of us on a lifelong carcer as
consumers, leading finally to God knows
where. Kids take to buying the way fleas
take to beagle hounds. It comes natural-
ly. You don't have to learn; somehow

take long for penny-candy
buyers to begin that great weeding-out
process of the slobs versus the antislobs.
It is here that it starts. A discriminating
penny-candy connoisseur knew what he
was after, while the rest merely setded
for anything that was big, lumpy, sticky
«| sweet, The JuJu Baby connoisseur
today buys Porsches and fine wines,
while his slack-jawed erstwhile friend
continues to dig large, lumpy, sticky-
sweet automobiles and syrupy beer that
comes in pop-top six-packs. I pride my

self, perhaps overly so, on hiv

g de-

veloped an exceedingly discriminating
palate for the various vintages and châ-
teaux of penny candy.

The genuine American penny-candy
store bears no relationship to the pres-
ent chichi ladies-magazine reproduc
tions that are popping up in Greenwich
Hage, the hipper sections of San F
cisco and Old Town in Chicago. Th
were invariably dark, their musty wi
dows filled with dogcared cardboard
placards advertising Old Dutch Cleanser,
Kayo the Magic Chocolate Drink, Camp-
bell's Pork & Beans, and the Hessville
P.T.A. Penny Supper.

The candy itself was displayed in a
high, oak-framed case with a curved glass
front and sliding glass doors well out of
h of the sneakier purchasers. In the
were rows of grimy glass jars and
metal trays containing The Stuff.

Penny candy was bought in lots for
between two and four cents, and in ex
treme cmergencics for one penny, but
that was rare. Pulaski, bending high over
the case, would peer down at us, looking
unconcerned and bored while we made
our dec lly:

Fer Chrissake, I haven't got all day!
D'ya want a licorice pipe or now"

And the battle was on. Glaring down
at the huddled band of well-heeled
vestors, many of whom were in ad-
vanced stages of the sour ball shakes,
Pulaski played his cards coolly and well.
He knew that he held the trump as the
only neighborhood supplicr of licorice
whips and wax false teeth. He was the
Man, the Connection. It was a seller's
market.

The wax false teeth, by the way,
played a part in a great second-grade
drama, when suddenly and without
warning wax false teeth became a mania-
cal fad that swept over Harding School
like a tidal wave. I remember one histor-
ic afternoon when every
ber of my second-grade

nped i
thmetic. Little did we r
the wax (alse teeth were a
ig of the real thing to come
for many in that benighted academy of
lower learning.

I should say at the outset that the wax
dentures were larger than life, true pink
gum. color—gums suffering from a rare
case of advanced pyorr
themselves (continued on

The teeth
page 121)

ILLUSTRATION BY FRANK BOZZO

Was NOT THE Fist MAN, Cliff Leyland told himself bit
erly, to know the exact second and the precise manner of his
death: times beyond
ed for their last dawn. Yet until the very end, they could hav
hoped for a reprieve; human judges can show mercy, but
against the laws of nature there was no appeal

And only six hours ago he had been whistling happily
while he packed his ten kilos of personal baggage for the long
fall home. He could still remember (even now, after all ü
had happened) how he had dreamed that Myra was already

his arms, that he was taking Brian and Sue on that prom-
ised cruise down the Nile. In a few minutes, as Earth rose
above the horizon, he might see the Nile again; but memory
alone could bring back the faces of his wife and children. And
all because he had tried to save 950 sterling dollars by rid
home on the freight catapult instead of the rocket shuttle.

He had expected the first 12 seconds of the wip to be
rough, as the electric Jauncher whipped the capsule along its
ten-mile track and shot him olf the Moon. Even with the pro-
tection of the water bath in which he had floated during
, he had not looked forward to the 20 g of take-off
n had gripped the capsule, he had
mmense forces acting upon him
al walls; to

Yet when
been h.

the silence was umi bin speaker had an.
nounced “T plus five scconds—speed two thousand miles an
hour" he could scarcely believe it

‘Two thousand. miles an hour in five seconds from a s
ing start—with seven seconds still to go as the g
smashed their thunderbolts of power into the launcher. He
was riding the lightning across the face of the Moon; and at
T plus seven seconds, the lightning failed.

Even in the womblike shelter of the tank, Cliff could sense
that something had gone wrong. The water around him, until
now frozen almost rigid by its weight, seemed suddenly to be-
come alive. Though the capsule was still hurding along the
track, all acceleration had ceased and it was merely coasting
under its own momentum.

He had no time to feel fear, or to wonder what had hap-
pened, for the power failure lasted little more than a second.
Then, with a jolt that shook the capsule from end to end and
set off a series of ominous, tinkling crashes, the field cime on
again.

When the acceleration faded for the last time, all weight
shed with it. Cliff needed no
to tell that the capsule had left the end of the track
ce of the Moon. He waited impa
1 the automatic pumps had drained the
driers had done their work; then he drifted across
to the bucket

the hot
the control panel and pulled himself down
scat

Launch Control,"

he called urgently, as he drew the r.
straining straps around his waist. “What the devil happened:

A br nswered at once.

We're still checking—call you back in thirty seconds. Glad
you're OK," it added pud.

While he was waiting, Cliff switched to forw
"There was nothing ahead except stars—which was as it should
be. At least he had taken off with most of his planned speed
and there was no danger that he would crash back to the
surface immediately. But he would crash back sooner
er, for he could not possibly have reached escape vdloc-

rd vision.

ity. He must be rising out into space along a great ellipsc—
and, in a few hours, he would be back at his santing poi

“Hello, Cli" said L ch Control. suddenly. “We've
found what happened. The circuit breakers tripped when you
went through. section five of the wack, so your take-off speed
was seven hundred miles an hour low. That will bring vou
back in just over five hours—but don't worry: you «

correction jets can boost vou into a stable orbit. We'll tel!
you when to fire them; then all you have to do is to sit tight
until we can send someone t0 haul you down."

Slowly, Cliff allowed himself to relax. He had forgotten thc
capsule's vernier rockets; low-powered though they were, thes
could kick him into an orbit that would clear the Moon.
Though he might fall back to within a few miles of the I
ace, skimming over mountains and plains at a bre
ng speed, he would be perfectly s

Then he remembered those tinkl hes from the con
trol compartment, and his hopes dimmed again—for there
were not many things that could break in a space vel
without most unpleasant consequen
He was facing those consequences, now tha

d been completed. Nei

the cap
RUPEM hich OUI TASE taken tint
| were utterly useless. In five hours, he would complete
his orbit—and return to his launching point.

1 wonder if they'll name the n
Cliff. "Crater. Leyland—d
ter not cxaggerate—I do
couple of hundred yards across. Hardly worth putting on the
map.

Launch Control was still silent, but d
there was little that one could say to a man already as good as
dead. And yet, though he knew that nothing could alter his
trajectory, even now he did not believe that he would soon be
scattered over most of Farside. He was still soaring away from
the Moon, snug and comfortable in his little cabin. The ide
of death was utterly incongruous—as it is to all men until
the final second.

And then, for a moment, Cliff forgot his owa problem. The
horizon ahead was no longer flat; something even more bril
iant than the blazing lunar landscape was lifting against the
stars. As the capsule curved round the edge of the Moon, it
was creating the only kind of Earthrise that was possible
man-made one. In a minute it was all over, such was his speed
a orbit. By that time the Earth had leaped clear of the hori-
zon and was climbing swiftly up the sky.

It was three quarters full and almost too bright to look
upon. Here was a cosmic mirror made not of dull rocks and
dusty plains, but of snow and cloud and sca. Indeed, it was
almost all sea, for the Pacific was turned toward him, and the
blinding rellection of the sun covered the Hawaiian Islands,
The haze of the phere—that soft blanket that. should
have cushioned escent in a few hours’ time—obliterated
1I geographical details; perhaps that darker patch emerging
from night was New Guinea, but he could not be sure.

There was a bitter irony in the knowledge that he wa
heading straight toward that lovely, gleaming apparition. Au-
other 700 miles an hour and he would have made it. Seven
hundred miles an hour—that was all, He might as well ask
for 7,000,000.

The sight of the rising Earth brought. home to him, with
irresistible force, the duty he feared but could postpone no

safer

trapped in a vortex, whirling toward his doom, he desperately launched himself against the stars

fiction By ARTHUR C. CLARKE

MAELSTROM II

PLAYBOY

longer. nch Control
ing his voice steady with
"Please give me a ci

This was one of the sirangest th
he had ever done in his life—sitting here
above the Moon, listening to the tele-
ig in his own home a quarter of
a million miles away. It must be near
midnight down there in Africa and it
would be some time before there would
be any answer. Myra would stir sleepily
—then, because she was a spaceman's
wife, always alert for disaster, she would
be instantly awake. But they had both
hated to have a phone in the bedroom,
and it would be at least 15 seconds be-
fore she could switch on the lights, close
the nursery door to avoid disturbing the
baby, get down the stairs and—

Her voice came clear and sweet across
the emptiness of space. He would recog-
nize it anywhere in the Universe, and
he detected at once the undertone of
anxiety.

Mrs. Leyland?” said the Earthside op-
erator. “I have a call from your husband.
Please remember the two-second time
lag."

Cliff wondered how many people were
listening to this call either on the
Moon, the Earth or the relay satellites.
Tt was hard to talk for the last time to
your loved ones, not knowing how many
cavesdroppers there might be. But as
soon as he began to speak, no one else
isted but Myra and himself.
ling, he began. "This is C
fraid 1 won't be coming home as I
promised. There's been a—a technical
slip. I'm quite all right at the moment,
but I'm in big trouble.

He swallowed, trying to overcome the
dryness in his mouth, then went on
quickly before she could interrupt. As
brielly as he could, he explained the sit-
" For his own sake as well as hers,
he did not abandon all hope.

"Everyone's doing their best," he said.
laybe they can get a ship up to me
in time—but in case they can't—well,
I wanted to speak to you and the
children.

She took it well, as he had known she
would. He felt pride as well as love
when her answer came back from the
dark side of Earth.

“Don't worry, Clif. I'm sure they'll
get you out and we'll have our holiday
after all, exactly the way we planned.

“I think so, too,” he lied. "But just in
case—would you wake the children?
Don't tell them that anything's wron

phone

ve given these
last few hours of his life to have seen
r faces once again, but the capsule
not equipped. with such luxuries as
phonevision. Perhaps it was just as well,
for he could not have hidden the truth
had he looked into their eyes. They

would know it soon enough, but not
from him. He wanted to give them
only happiness in these last moments
together.

Yet it was hard to answer their ques-
ns, to tell them that he would soon be
seeing them, to make promises that he
could not keep. It needed all his self
control when Brian reminded him of the
Moon dust he had forgotten once before
—but had ri mbered this time

"I've got it, Brian—it's jar right
beside me—soon you'll be able to show it
to your friends.” (No: Soon it will be
back on the world from which it came.)
"And Susie—be a good girl and do every-
thing that Mummy tells you. Your last
school report wasn't too good, you know,
especially those remarks about behav-
ior... Yes, Brian, I have those photo-
graphs, and the piece of rock from
Aristarchus——

It was hard to die at 35; but it was
hard, too, for a bey to lose his father at
10. How would Brian remember him in
the years ahead? Perhaps as no more
than a fading voice from space, for he
had spent so little time on Earth. In
these last few minutes, as he swung out-
ward and then back to the Moon, there
was litle enough that he could do ex-
cept project his love and his hope across
the s that he would never span
again. T st was up to Myra.

When the children had gone, happy
but puzzled, there was work to do. Now
was the time to keep one's head, to be
businesslike and practical. Myra must
face the future without him, but at least
he could make the transition
Whatever happens to the
goes on; and to modern
volves morte;
ance policies a
Almost impersonally, as if they com
cerned someone clsc—which would soon
be truc cnough—Cliff began to talk
abour these things. There was a time for
the heart and a time for the brain
heart would have its final say three
hours from now, when he began his
approach to the surface of the Moon

No one interrupted them; there must
have been silent monitors maintaining
the link berw two worlds, but they
might have been the only people à
Sometimes, while he was spe:
eyes would to the peri
dazzled by the gla nore
than hallway up the sky. It was impos
ve that it was home for seven
souls. Only three mattered to

easier.

billio:
him now.
Tt should have been four, but with the

best w the world he could not put
the baby on the same footing as the oth-
ers. He had his younger son;
and now he never would.

AL last, he could think of no more to
say. For some things, a lifetime was not
enough—but an hour could be too much.

ever SCCI

id emot

He felt. physically
hausted, and the strain on. My
have been equally great. He wa
be alone with his thoughts and with the
stars, 10 compose his mind and 10 make
his peace with the Universe
"d like co sign off for an hour or so,
darling,” he said. The no need for
explanations; they understood each oth
cr too well. “I'l call you back
plenty of time. Goodbye for now.
He waited the two seconds for the
swering goodbye from Earth; th
cur d
t

he
circuit and stared blankly at the
y control desk. Quite unexpectedly,
without desire or volition, tears sprang

into his eyes, and suddenly he
ing like a child.

He wept for his loved ones and for
himself. He wept for the future that
might have been and the hopes that
would soon be incandescent vapor, drift
ing between the stars. And he wept be-
cause there was nothing else to do.

After a while he felt much better. In.
deed, he realized that he was extremely
hungry; there was no point in dying on
an empty stomach, and he began to rum-
mage among the space rations in the
closetsized galley. While he was squeez-
ing a tube of chicken-and-ham paste into
his mouth, Launch Control called.

There was a new voice at the end of
the line—a slow, steady and. immensely
competent voice that sounded as if it
would brook no nonsense from
mate machinery.

“This is Van Kessel, Chief of M
nance, Space Vehicles Di . Listen
carefully, Leyland—we think we've
found a way out. It's a long shot—but it's
the only chance you have.”

Alternations of hope and despair are
hard on the nervous system. Cliff felt a
suddei zziness; he might have fallen,
had there been any direction in which to
fall.

as weep-

mte-

o ahead,” he said faintly, when he
had recovered. Then he listened to Van
Kesel with an eagerness that slowly
changed to incredulity.

“I don't believe it!” he said at last.
“In just doesn't make sense!”

“You can't argue with the computers,”
answered Van Kesel. "They've checked

And it makes sense all
be moving so fast at apogee, it
doesn't need much of a kick then to
change your orbit. I suppose you've nev-
cr been in a deepspace rig before?
of couse not.”

but never mind. If you follow
instructions you can't go wrong. You'll
find the suit in the locker at the end of
the c Break the seals and haul it
ou

Cliff floated the full six feet from the
control desk to the rear of the cabin,
nd pulled on the lever marked: EMER-
GENCY ONLY- TYPE 17 DEEPSPACE SUIT
(continued on page 90)

SEDUCED -SICILIAN STYLE

a deliciously undoloroso screamplay takes

off on those click italian flicks

filled with passion and pasta, vita and vendettas

satire BY RAY RUSSELL

Nor since Cavalleria Rusticana—that highly spiced operatic antipasto

of Mascagni's—has the volatile island of Sicily enjoyed the kind of world attention it has been recently receiving.

A rash (that’s exactly the word I want) of motion pictures has suddenly made us aware of

dizzying tempo. Divorce—Halian Style, Seduced and Abandoned, Mafioso .

pressure society of complex customs and puz:
mythical country populated by people

John Ford's Ireland—
a preternatural purity.

they fought so for the honor of their families.”
But Sicilian honor, movie style, is a topsy-turvy, even bizarre concept, and it may not be long before we are treat-

ed to a film roughly resembling this . .

ian life and its

- all these have shown us a high-blood-
g pride. The cinematic Sicily, said one reviewer,
whom alleged national characteristics flourish with
. Never, one would think, have fathers cared so for the virtue of their daughters; never have

getting to be like

FADE in: A blinding, sun-baked square in
the center of a small Sicilian village. Ev-
erything is bleached to wince-making
whiteness—the buildings, the streets, the
fountain, the endless stone stairs and
several skinny stray dogs. Against this
whiteness, the Sicilians stand out in bold
relief, principally because they are all
dressed in black—the men in black hats,
black coats, black shoes and black pants;
the women in black hats, black coats,
black shoes and black pants. They all
walk with their eyes firmly riveted in
front of them and their arms hanging
straight down at thetr sides.

CAMERA MOVES IN TO: A jlyblown side-
walk café. Here, sipping cheap raisin

wine and watching the passing parade,
are two lownsmen: young BRUNO, à
handsome hulk with the mind of an ox;
and wizened, toothless, one-eyed MA
Loccano, a dirty old man of about 95.
MALOCCHIO spits and says:

»: Pah! There goes Umber-

to—he a cuckold! Ptoocy! Here
E y!

: is a strum-

pet! Yee-e-cch! Look at Malatesta—

t Ro-

that filthy lecher! Ugh! If it
salia—the adulteress! Arrrgh! Must we
look upon little Peppino—the bastard?

Bruno, my son:
mkUNO: Eh?
maroccmo: This afternoon, when we

visit the professional ladies of the Hotel

Boccaccio, remember—I,
will be first, then you.
BRUNO: But——
MaLoccmo (hitting him across the
mouth): Silénzio! You say "but" to your
father? You shame our family with a
"but"? You smear this filthy "but" across
the noble name of Malocchioz Bèstia!
Traditore! Sciagurato! I disown you!
You are no son of mine! (Standing up
and shouting): LISTEN, COMPARES!
S BRUNO IS NO SON OF

your father,

BRUNO: Malocchio, the whole town
knows I am no son of yours. I am the
son of Mario (continued on page 158)

Above: The Playboy Bed is turned to face a double delight—a romantic
miss and soft glow from the fire. When made up, the bed is perfect for
ruminating in front of crackling embers. The Italion marble mantelpiece
wos imported especiolly for master quarters of the Playboy Mansion.

modern living

THE
PLAY BOY
BED

for the contemporary morpheus-
in-the-round, a wondrously electronic,
indolently sybaritic, ingeniously
equipped sleep center

WE HAVE ALWAYS maintained that a man
should never stint when it comes to provid-
ing himself with. proper bedding. The mas
terful combination of the cabineumaker's. art

and the clectronic engineer's skill pictured
here is the Playboy Bed—our own personal
manifestation of the ultimate in sleeping
sybaritic accommodation. Originally con-
ceived as an artist's drawing in The Playboy
Town House (May 1962), this bed was cre-

ated especially for installation in the Playboy

Mansion, where it now rests, blending the
best in old-fashioned comfort with the latest
in mechanical innovation within and sur-
rounding its regal eightand.a-half-foot di
ameter. At the touch of a finger it can be
gently rotated a full 360 degrees in either
direction to suit the occupant's whim. When
the bed is aligned with its ninc-foot arced sta-
board, it is ready either for slum

tionary he

ber or late-night TV viewing on the special
sercen suspended from a facing wall and op
erated by sonic remote control. Press the
control button concealed between the iwo
black-leather back rests and the bed is silent-
atic glow softly
emanating from an n marble fireplace,

nd becomes perfect for ruminating à deux.
r press of the button and the bed

Anotl

turns again on its six giant cushioned casters
and faces the headboard, which offers a con-
enient exp
table for any-hour snacking, a private bar or

even a work surface (concluded on page 184)

nse that can be utilized as a

Left: The bed is now turned away from the
fire and faces a conversation area on the
other side of the room. The French mohair
spread has been removed ond the covers
turned down. Note that while the larger sec
tion of the headboard is stationary, the con-
trol panel in the leather back rest moves with
the bed. Right: Breokfast is served with the
bed facing its own headboard. This immobile
section, with its broad exponse, can triple in
brass and be used as a desk, table or snack bar.

Above left: The clock radio is set for not too early in the morning and the hi-fi stereo headphones are ready for late-night listening.
In the center, drinks are set behind two pairs of buttons that operate the turning mechanism which rotates the bed in either di-
rection. The dials above control a three-motor vibrator system that can give either a gentle presleep massage or a wake-up shake.
At right is the video taping unit, which allaws you to watch one pragram while it records another one for future viewing.

PLAYBOY

MAELSTROM II (continued rom page 86)

ver

‘The door opened and the shining s
labric hung flaccid before

Strip down to your underclothes and
wriggle into it,” said Van Kessel. “Don't
bother about the biopack—you clamp
on Tate

in,” said Cliff presently. “What

Tm i
do 1 do now?”

“You wait twenty minutes—and then
we'll give you the signal to open the air
lock and jumj

The implications of that word "jump"
suddenly penetrated. Cliff looked around
the now familiar, comforting little cal
and then thought of the lonely emptiness
between the stars—the unreverberant
abyss through which a man could fall
until the end of time.

He had never been in free space;
there was no reason why he should. He
was just a farmer's boy with a master's
degree in agronomy, seconded from the
Sahara Reclamation Project and trying
10 grow crops on the Moon. Space was
not for him; he belonged to the worlds
of soil and rock, of Moon dust and
acuum-formed pumice.

I can't do it," he whispered. "Isn't
there any other way?"

“There's not" snapped Van Kessel.
"We're doing our damnedest to save
you, and this is no time to get nenrotic.
Dozens of men have been in far worse
situations—badly injured, wapped in
wreckage a million miles from help. But
you're not even scratched, and already
you're squealing! Pull yourself together
—or we'll sign off and leave you to stew
in your own juice."

Cliff turned slowly red, and it was sev-
eral seconds before he answered.

"Im all right,” he said at last, "Lets
go through those instructions again

"Thats beuer,” said Van Kessel ap-
provingly. "Twenty minutes from now,
when you're at apogee, you'll go into the
ir lock. From that point, we'll lose com-
munication: Your suit radio has only a
ten-mile range. But we'll be tracking you
on radar and we'll be able to speak to
you when you pass over us again. Now,
about the controls on your suit .

The 20 minutes went quickly enough
at the end of that time, Cliff knew exact-
ly what he had to do. He had even come
to believe that it might work.

“Time to bail out," said Van Kessel.
“The capsule's correctly orientated—the
air lock points the way you want to go.

But direction is speed is what
matters. Put everything you've got into
jump—and good luck!”

iff inadequately.

‘Sorry tha
“Forget in" interrupted Van Kessel.
Now get moving!

For the last time, Cliff looked round
the tiny cabin, wondering if there was
nything that he had forgotten. All his

personal belongings would have tò be
abandoned, but they could be replaced
easily enough. Then he remembered the
little jar of Moon dust he had promised
Brian; this time, he would not let the
boy down. The minute mass of the sam-
ple—only a few ounces—would ma
difference to his fate; he tied a pi
string round the neck of the jar and at-
tached it to the harness of his suit.

‘The air lock was so small that there
was literally no room to move; he stood
sandwiched between wr and outer
doors until the automatic pumping sc
quence was finished. Then the wall slow-
ly opened away from him and he was
facing the stars.

With his clumsy, gloved fingers, he
hauled himself out of the air lock and
stood upright on the steeply curving
hull, bracing himself tightly against it
with the safety line. The splendor of the
scene held him almost paralyzed; he for-
got all his fears of vertigo and insecurity
as he gazed around him, no longer con-
strained by the narrow field of vision of
the periscope.

The Moon was a gigantic crescent, the
dividing line between night and a
jagged are sweeping across a quarter of
the sky. Down there the sun was setting,
at the beginning of the long lunar night,
but the summits of isolated peaks were
still blazing with the last light of day,
defying the darkness that had already
encircled them.

That darkness was mot complete.
"Though the sun was gone from the land
below, the almost full Earth flooded
with glory. Cliff could see, faint but
clear in the glimmering Earthlight, the
outlines of seas and highlands, the dim
stars of mountain peaks, the dark circles
of craters. He was flying above a ghostly,
land which was trying
ih. For now he was.
poised at the highest point of his orbi
exactly on the line between Moon and
Earth. It was time to go.

He bent his legs. crouching against
the hull. Then, with all his force, he
launched himself toward the stars, ler-
ting the safety line run out behind him.

The capsule receded with surprising
speed, and as it did so, he felt a most
unexpected sensation. He had antici-
pated terror or vertigo—but not this
unmistakable, haunting sense of
ty. All this had happened before; not
to him, of course, but to somconc else.
He could not pinpoint the memory, and
there was no time to hunt for it now,

He flashed a quick glance at Earth,

thought. The line whipped away as he
snapped the quick release; now he was
Jone, 2000 miles above the Moon, a
quarter of a million miles from Earth
He could do nothing but wait; it would

be two and a half hours before he would
know if he could live—and if his own
muscles had performed the task that the
rockets had failed to do.

And then, as the stars slowly revolved
around him, he suddenly knew the ori
gin of that haunting memory It had
been many years since he had read Poe's
short stories; but who could ever forget
them?

He, t00, was trapped in a maelstrom,
being whirled down to his doom; he,
too, hoped to escape by abandoning, his
vessel. Though the forces involved were
totally different, the parallel was stri
ing. Poe's fisherman had lashed himself
10 a barrel because stubby, cylindrical
objects were being sucked down into the
great whirlpool more slowly than his
ship. It was a brilliant application of the
laws of hydrodynamics; Cliff could only
hope that his use of celestial mechanics
would be equally inspired.

How fast had he jumped away from
the capsule? At a good five miles an
hour, surely. Trivial though that speed
was by astronomical standards, it should
be enough to inject him into a new orbit
—one that, Van Kessel had promised
him, would clear the Moon by several
miles. That was not much of a margin,
but it would be enough on this airless
world, where there was no atmosphere
to draw him down.

With a sudden spasm of guilt, Cliff
realized that he had never made that sec-
ond call to Myra. It was Van Kessel's
fault; the engineer had kept him on the
move, given him no time to brood over
his own affairs. And Van Kessel was

ghe In a situation like this, a
could think only of himself. All his re-
sources, mental and physical, must be
concentrated on survival. This was no

time or place for the distracting and

akening ties of love

He was racing now toward the night
side of the Moon, and the daylit crescent
was shrinking even as he watched. The
ntolerable disk of the Sun, tow
which he dared not look, was falling
swiftly toward the curved horizon. The
crescent moonscape dwindled to a burn-
ing line of light, a bow of fire set ag
the stars. Then the bow fragmented into
a dozen shining beads, which onc by one
winked ont as he shot into the shadow of
the Moon.

With the going of the Sun, the Earth
ight scemed more brilliant than ever,
frosting his suit with silver as he rotated
slowly along his orbit. It took him about
ten seconds to make cach revoluti
there was nothing he could do to check
his spin, and indeed he welcomed the
constantly changing view. Now that his
eyes were no longer distracted by occa
ional glimpses of the Sun, he could scc
the stars in thousands where there had
been only hundreds before. The famili:
constellations were drow 1 even
(continued on page 178)

“He misspelled ‘cuckold'!”

Above left: Slumbering Sue is awakened by Soturday-morning call from friends, inviting her to meet them at softball diamond
in Glendale's Verdugo Park. Above right: Our shortstopping sprite drives to the game on her new motorbike. “It was a grodu-
ation present from my reluctant but softhearted dod," explains Sue. “I convinced him that two wheels ore better than none.

FOR THOSE WHO MAINTAIN that it’s the little things in life that
make the difference, April Playmate Sue Williams—a 4’11” blonde
and blue-eyed native of the Golden State—will undoubtedly pro-
vide an attractive 98 pounds of added weight to their ary
Our most petite Playmate 10 date, Suc has spent the past 19
blossoming in the healthy California dime. Born and ra
in Glendale, where she graduated from high school last June,
centerfolddom's shortest short subject now resides in her first
bachelorette pad, conveniently located within walking distance of
her job as secretary-receptionist for a Burbank film-processing firm.
As Sue told us: "My parents wanted me to enroll at USC this year,
but I decided I'd be better off getting out on my own for a while
I'm not full of academic aspirations at the moment, and I can't
sce going to a university just to get a degree. By earning my own
keep and learning to solve my own problems, I think IIl learn
a lot more about life than 1 would in any classroom.” An ardent
fan of the great outdoors, diminutive Miss April shows a n
proclivity for la vie athlétique. “I guess you could call me a
* says Sue. “After work, I can't wait to switch into slacks
s either down to the beach for some late
afternoon surfing, or out to Verdugo Park for a few igs of
softball with the old gang from Glendale. On rainy days, 1 catch
up on my one sede: hobby—collecting old coins." Our out
door miss also admits a feminine weakness for dining

food is my downfall”) and dancing ("Anything from the frug to
the fox trot is fine with me") with a date who's "well groomed,
considerate, and not so tall that 1 have to strain my neck to see
what he looks like." On dateles nights, her tastes run to lan
ng thrillers, stereophonic jazz ("Monk and Mingus are my
, and late-late video filin fare ("Where else can you sec
Gunga Din these days"). Her pet peeve? "People who talk big."

S Ur e e A S ue miss april is one of the small wonders of the modern world

PHOTOGRAPHY By EOWARO OELONG ANO WILLIAM V. HGGE

Left: Sue beams confidently (top) as she
gets the upper hand in choosing up sides
for the regular weekend game. At bat
(center), our bantam slugger looks over
three-and-two pitch ("When | stand in a
crouch, most pitchers have trouble try-
ing to find o strike zone thal tiny"),
then stares incredulously at the ump
(bottom) os he calls her out. "It's really
terrible, the way | love to bug um-
pires,” she confides. "When | go to
the Dodger games, | have so much fun
razzing them, | often wind up hoarse.”

Above: Our perky Playmote suggests that
the man behind the plate could use a
good optician. "Like most females,” says
Sue, “I try to get in the last word."

Above: After the game, Sue goes out on c limb (left] in search of new heights and gets a friendly hand (right) for
her efforts. Below: Tired climbers relax before heading out for a cool dip in the Pacific. "Being a Playmate is the
most exciting thing that's ever happened to me," says Sue. “i wasn't really sure 1 was the right type." We were.

PLAY BOY'S PARTY JOKES

Do you smoke after sex?” the gentleman
asked.

“I really don't know,” the sophisticated lady
replied. “I've never looked to sce.”

The little whitehaired spinster was rock-
1g on her front porch with her tomcat at her
feet when a good fairy suddenly appeared and
offered her three wishes.

“Aw, go on,” the little old lady said disbc-
ievingly. “IL you can grant wishes, let's see you
turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold.”

A wave of the good fairys wand and the
spinster found herself atop a pilc of pure gold.
hting up, she asked: "I get two

more wishes?’

“Yes,” the good fairy assured her. “Anything
your heart de:

“Then make me into a beautiful, voluptu-

ous young girl,” she ordered. Another wave of
the wand and her wish was granted.

thful old cat
Isome you

nto a tall, d

peared as the third wish came true and a mus-
cular swain stood where the tomcat had just

been sleeping.
The young man approached the once-old
lady, took her in his arms and murmured ger

"Now to the

dy 1 you sorry you sent

vet?’

Upon entering the taxi and noticing the
driver was a woman, the young man decided
to have a little fun: “Take me to the cheapest
brothel in town,” he said.

“Mister,” the female cabbie repli
in iv”

1, “you're

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines beatnik as
a person who's dropped the job but kept the
cofice break.

A business executive on an outoftown sales
wip was about to check in at a hotel when he
noticed a lusciously proportioned young wom-
an smiling at him provocatively. Very casually
he walked over to her and spoke a few inaudi-
ble words. He returned to the desk with her
aging to his arm and they registered as man

After a two-day stay, he checked out
handed a bill for $750. "There's some
"he protested. “I've only been
here two days.”

"Yes," the clerk explained, “but your wife
has been here [or two months.”

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines wolf as a
man with a strong will looking for a girl with
a weak won't.

During the frantic rush hour on a New York
subway train, a Icchcrous old man pressed
close to a pretty young lady and whispered in
her e:

“You know, you're rather a tasty morsel

"And do you know," she replied an;
“that it's impolite to cat with your hands?

ee
\
A

A henpecked husband was heard to remark
ter his third martini, “Give my wife an inch
and she thinks she's a ruler!”

Our Una

as dirty Ital

hed Dictionary defines vice versa
an poctry.

We know an insurance salesman who says
his greatest successes arc with young housc-
wives who aren't adequately covered.

| wd.

| nearly fainted when the fellow I was out
with last night asked me to pet,” exclaimed the
sweet young thing to her date.

“Really?” said the date. “Then you're gonna
die when you hear what Z have in mind.”

Heard a good one lately? Send it on a postcard.
to Party Jokes Editor, vLAvuov, 232 E. Ohio SL,
Chicago, Ill. 60611, and earn $25 for each joke
used. In case of duplicates, payment is made
for first card received. Jokes cannot be returned.

“That's what I like about women. They're never satisfied!”

PLAYBOY

FORCE OF HABIT

force of habit." Practices do become hab-
its—and the force of those habits can,
indeed, be mighty. However, human be-
ings have a considerable degree of lat
tude. They are, after all, endowed with
the ability to form their own habits and
to break or discard those which they
find undesirable.

Nowhere do habit patterns count for
as much, and nowhere does the force of
habit demonstrate its might more em-
phatically than in the business world, A
habits are among the most
important factors that determine whether
he will be a success—or a failure.

Whether an individual's habits can be
chalked up on the plus or the minus side
of the ledger is a matter that depends on
many factors. Not the least of these are
the individual himself, the nature of the
habit and how, why, when and where he
applies it. Needless to say, what may be
a very good habit for one person may
not be so good—or may even be ex-
tremely bad—for the next.

For example, it is certainly to a profes-
sional prize fighter’s advantage if he
acquires the habit of exercising strenu-
ously every day. But a daily three-mile
run and a two-hour workout in a gym-
nasium hardly constitute good habits for
a middle-aged, paunchy, desk-bound ex-
e with a weak heart.

A portrait painter will benefit from
the habit of occasionally standing back
from his work in order to obtain a better
perspective of what he is doing. On the
other hand. this is not a habit recom-
mended for window cleaners or steeple
jacks. The factors determining whether
a habit is a good or a bad one can also
be a matter of degree or of prevailing
conditi

For instance, it helpful habit for a
businessman to be optimistic and enthusi-

ns.

and inspire his associates and. subordi-
nates. However, habitual optimism and

enthusiasm can be carried to dangerous
—and even disasirous—extremes of over-
estimation and overzealousnes

I recall the case of a brilliant and
highly capable businessman—Bill Smith
is as good a name for him as any—whose
optimism helped him greatly in estab-
lishing and operating several manufac-
turing firms that showed good profits and
great promise. Unfortunately, all of Bill
ith's business experience was obtained
during a boom period. Consequently, his
rosiest outlooks and hopes were always
realized by developments in what was a
steadily rising market.

Then, suddenly, there was a relatively
mild economic recession, It was a time
n seasoned bu:

and
je they waited for the bus

proceeded cautiously

ess sit

(continued from page 81)

jon to become stabilized.

Bill Smith totally unable to adjust
10 what, for him, were new and unfa
miliar conditions. His habits of optimism
and enthusiasm were too deeply in-
grained. Instead of applying his brakes,
he continued to move at full speed, su.
premely confident that everything would
turn out fine.

Within a very short time, Smith had
bitten off far more than he could chew
under the business conditions that then
prevailed. He overextended himself and
his companies and eventually went
bankrupt.

1t is the widespread custom to say that
people “develop” good habits and “fall
into" bad ones. The implication, of
course, is that the former are difficult to
achieve, that the individual must make a
constant conscious effort to form them,
while he will slide easily and effortlessly
into the latter, This is true—but need-
lessly so and almost solely because of the
perversity of human nature.

Actually, a habit is a habit. There
should be no valid reason why it is any
more difficult to form good ones than
bad.

For instance, I—along with a great
many others—contend that promptness,
or the lack of it, is largely a matter of
habit. One either forms the good habit
of being on time—or forms the bad
habit of being chronically tardy.

It is to any individual's advantage and
best interests to be prompt, whether it is
in keeping an appointment, paying a
debt, mecting an obligation or keeping
a promise of any kind.

The habitually late dinner guest dis-
commodes his hosts and the others who
we been invited to the affair. He
quickly becomes unpopular and, sooner
or later, he is dropped from guest lists.

Habitual promptness is an especially
valuable asset for any businessman. That
ancient adage “Time is money" has al-
ways been valid and it is more valid to-
day than ever before.

The pace and complexity of contem-
porary business place a premium on
every hour and minute. Businessmen
and executives must run their work-
days on the tightest of schedules. They
nnot afford to waste their productive
time any more than they can afford to
have needless stoppages on the produc-
tion line

Witness the constantly increasing
number of corporations that operate
their own aircraft so that they cin move
their executives from one place to an
other faster—to get them wherever they
must go on timc. There are more than
34,000 corporate aircraft in the United
States today. General Motors, for exam-
ple, maintains a fleet of 22 planes.
Montgomery Ward openly admits that
the cost of flying its executives aboard its

own aircraft is a third more than it
would be to send them to their destina
tions on regular scheduled airline flights
But the use of corporate planes saves
nearly 60 percent of the company execu-
tives’ traveling time—and Montgomery
Ward, like so many other companies, un
derstands that the time saved is well
worth the additional cost.

In short, the man who is where he said
he would be at the time he promised to
not only making an excellent
npression, he is saving—and thereby
making—money for himself or for his
company.

The need for promptness extends to
every phase of business. The business
men and firms most likely to succeed are
those that fill their orders, deliver their
merchandise, provide their services, pay
their bills and meet their notes and oth-
obligations on time.

Customers who are made to wait for
delivery on their orders beyond thc
promised time are likely to place their
next orders elsewhere. Individuals and
firms that pay their bills when they fall
due establish good credit ratings—while
those that lag behind soon find that it
becomes extremely difficult or impossi-
ble for them to obtain credit anywhere.

Notwithstanding the countless advan-
tages of habitual promptness, there are
those who form the habit of being late
regardless of the consequences. It is per-
versity, laziness and lack of foresight that
cause an individual to form the habit of
being tardy—just as it is these same fac
tors that cause most people to form most
of the habits that harm them and their
business careers.

Thrift is another habit that can be
formed—and that very often adds a de-
ciding ingredient to any business success
formula. Common sense should prove to
any person that it is sound policy to econ-
omize wherever reasonably practi-
cable to do so.

This holds true from the bottom up.
Assume that a man wants to start in
business for himself. In order to do this,
he must have at least some capi
matter what the business may he.

In most cases, there are only three
enues open to him for obtaining that
capital. He can provide it from his o|
savings, get it by taking in a partner or
partners, or borrow it.

If the money is his own from the start,
the business, too, will be his own. If,
however, he has to take in partners, he
will own only part of the business and
will have to share its profits. And, if he
ney, the loan must be repaid
ably with interest, wh
reduces the profits

Once he has started a business, an in-
dividual who is naturally thrifty will
have an infinitely greater chance for
success than another of equal ability
who does not possess this quality. The

(continued on page 168)

borrows me

—almost inva

Playboy's

Summer
Cashion ff recast

the definitive statement on the coming trends in menswear and accessories

102

[2 +"
ask weak E NR

Preceding page: A colorful couple begins our warm-weather forecast dressed for an early-morning drive by the ocean.
He is in a linen and rayon fisherman's-knit pullover, by Himalaya, $13, and imported Indian cotton madras tailored
swim trunks, by Kingswood, $12. Above: A briefly clad twosome is ready for a dip. The fellow is set in a pace-set-
ting black suit with white 2ip front and top pocket, by Kingswood, $7. Right: A happy pairing legs it out of the
briny and heads for an after-swim libation. Chap is decked out in a cotton-knit “bicycle” shirt, $5, and matching stretch
cotton-denim shorts with front web belt, $7, both by Jantzen, topped with an Italian rafia hat, by Cap Crafters, $4.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILLI

attire By ROBERT L. GREEN

wien some nameless English bard sang that
“sumer is icumen in,” he was probably lucky if he
could find a decent jerkin to wear at Runnymede
for the signing of the Magna Charta. When warm
weather begins to break om the scene these days,
however, a man is often even luckier if he can pick
his way through the sometimes bewildering array
of new styles and costumery that is served up each
year for every summertime activity from country-
club dancing to keeping cool on the way to work.

Io help our readers select a summer wardrobe
that is stylishly correct and in keeping with today's
active outdoor lile, we herewith present the results
of our labors—an item-by-item check list of pre-
dictions of the best in warm-weather fashions to
come.

stris: We see two important new trends in suits
coming up this season. The first is in subtle new
uses of silk and imitation silk. The heavylooking
nubs of the past have been brought dow
these styles à smooth-textured appearance. WI
there will still be surface interest in the material,
the tone will be soft and understated. Price tags on
these suits will meander from the economy to the
Juxury class, but good fashion buys should be avai
able in all ranges. ‘The big colors will be natu
looking tans, grays and other light shades. A
second direction we predict and endorse heartily
is the revival of stripes for summer suits. The
slightly formallooking (text continued on page 107)

Above right: The guy is handsomely protected in
a one-way water fight with a coated-nylon xip-front
parka, by Marshall Ray, $12. Right: He plays
it safe in a water-repellent cotton-velour suede
pullover that should be popular, by Marshall Ray,
$15, and Dacron and poplin shorts, by H.LS., $6.

Above left: A perfect pairing for the fairways, with the
golfer wearing an alpaca and wool links-stitch Arnald
Palmer cardigan with modified bell sleeves, by Robert
Bruce, $22, over tapered Dacron and rayon slacks, by
Contact, $8, topped with a patched madras cloth hat, by
Cap Crafters, $6. Above right: After the match our two-
some relaxes in casual comfort. He is in a three-button
drnel and cotton oxford-weave jacket, $30, worn over
tapered canary-colored slacks with coordinating regi-
mental striped ribbon belt, $13, both by Palm Beach,
a buttondown oxford cotton shirt, by Van Heusen-417,
$5, and a paisley-patterned silk ascot, by Handcraft, $6.

Left: Our gent, not al all disturbed by his surfeit of honeys,
strikes a forward-looking fashion pose in a Dacron
and wool hopsack jacket, by Worsted-Tex, $45, toned
with darker-olive tropical wool trousers, by Newman,
$28.50, and touched off with an imported line-plaid cot-
ton butiondown shirt, by Wren, $7, and silk ascot, by
Handcraft, $5. Right: A nautical flair for dry land is
predicted with the guy's being properly admired in a
denim-blue flax and rayon linen-weave one-button jack-
et, by Phoenix, $40, contrasted with Dacron and cotton
slacks, by Contact, $8, a cotton broadcloth tapered shirt,
by Truval, $2, and imported ascot, by Sulka, $6.50.

Left: Swinging in the rain: Our man
in the foreground dons a Dacron and
cotton classic trench coat, making a come-
back, by London Fog, $45. The lad in
the rear is in a cotton poplin double-
breasted trench coat with full leather-
buckle belt and storm-closure collar, by
Cortefiel, $60. Right: A swain is nuz
zled in a jumbo-patiern water-repel-
lent cotton coat, by Alligator, $30.
His outfit is completed by a cotton ox-
ford snap-tab-collar shirt, by Manhat-
tan, $5, and silk tie, by Wembley, $2.50.

thin stripe that had been the prov
ince of the fall and winter business suit
now definitely belongs in your warm.
weather wardrobe as well. These muted
summer styles offer new possibilities for
plain and fancy stripe combinations.
You can contrast a thin-lined suit with
a broad-striped colored shirt and add a
dose-striped tie to complete the coordi-
nation.

No matter how much of a traditional-
ist you've been in the past, try to relax
and break out of the rigidity of "button-
down living" this summer. Expand your
wardrobe with the latest in menswear—
the shaped suit. You will hear it referred
to as "shaped,

“fiued,” "body-traced,"
or whatever else the local jargon whips
up. Essentially, the style is another ex-
ample of the revival of British-type
tailoring we noted in our European
Fashion Dateline (February 1965) now
adapted for American warm-weather

wear. It gives the appearance of custom

tailoring without the tight sharpness of
the old Continental styling,

We can happily predict that natural
color suits will be showing up every-
where. This onetone natural was an
absolute must in a gentleman's wardrobe
during the 1930s. Now it is a pleasure to
put our own push behind its return

Left: Dressed to suit the quiet mood,
the chap sports a Dacron and cotton
blazer, $35, with coordinated slacks and
ribbon belt, $13, both by Palm Beach.
The cotton buttondown shirt, by Eagle,
$6.50, is set off by an alpaca knit
tie, by Taylor, $3.50. Right: Young
executive wears a Dacron and wool
muted herringbone two-button suit, by
Michaels-Stern, $75, with buttondown
cotton broadcloth shirt, by Hathaway,
$9, silk He, by Resilio, $3.50, and
poplin rain hat, by Cap Crafters, $5.

Above: A flash of bright color frames a pen-
sive miss. Her date is casually correct in an

imported Indian hand-woven bleeding cotton
madras three-button sports jacket we predict
will be a big hit this season, by M. Wile, $30.

to the wardrobe fold. It is worn to best effect
with a colored shirt and tie, a strong paisley
or patterned pocket square and topped with
a jaunty straw

SPORTS JACKETS AND COLOR COORDINATES: The
silken trend in suits will be carried over into
sports clothes. But here the style comes off best
using rough-texture silk tweeds, bold diag:
onals or large-scale herringbones. We also

Left: A couple enjoys a quiet moment after
the club dance. The gentleman dons a
pLayBoy-inspired country formal jacket of
Dacron and cotton seersucker, $55, over mo-
hair and worsted evening trousers, $40,
pleated cotton shirt, $8, all by After Six.
Right: Our revels are softly ended as the
fellow wears an Irish linen and rayon double-
breasted jacket, by Stanley Blacker, $45,
over striped cord slacks, by Cracker Barrel,
$17, an oxford buttondown shirt, by Eagle,
$0.50, and a silk tie, by Fabiani, $6.50.

PLAYBOY

anticipate there will be a great many
patternless solid-color jackets av
n a new range of soft ice-cream sha
such as lemon, lime, orange and blue.
Like the Mississippi, madras just keeps
rolling along and will hold its position
as a summer classic. But denims and

scersuckers will be strong again this year,
with new paucrns and large, bright
stripes. The blazer other warm-
weather indestructible and will be scen

this spring in a variety of materials [rom
ural linen to the classic. navy-blue
hopsack. If you like to create an avant
garde effect, try the combi
solid-color double-breasted blazer
checked slacks and white shoes.

The idea of a color coordinate, where
the manufacturer makes an entirely
complemented outfit of slacks a
designed to be sold together, is some-
thing we have been advocating for a
long time. "This season, we are pleased
to report, there will be a great many
excellent coordinates around in all col-
ors and combina

SLACKS AND SHORTS: Slacks will
tainly continue on in the slim, cuflless
tradition. Many will be making the
scene with coordinated self-belts of the
same material as the trouser fabric.

Belted slacks in ht, bright shades
are better than par for golf. Moderately
tapered slacks are best for country wear.
Adjustable tab slacks in dark and medi-
um shades are always appropriate for
business or town wear. White cottons are
still standard for boating and the shore.
The range in slacks fabrics seems almost
endless—hopsackings, sharkskins, flan-
nels, worsteds, linens, homespuns, pop-

ns and all be readily
available.

It figures that the best tailoring ele-
ments in slacks should carry over to walk
shorts and offer such popular features as
wide belt loops and fancy L-shaped
pockets. Patch madras and madras plaids
will continue in high favor with the
walkshort set, along with stripes and
checks. For the studied casual look of
upbeat beachcomber, there will be
cutoff jeans in white and tan de

siners AND swEATERS: The shirt jac, a
casi style worn outside the trousers,
is something we have boosted since its
first. appearance (The Playboy Shirt-
Jacket, wiAYmov, March 1963). Th
should be a big year for the jac,

of a
h

ation

cer-

and the choice in fabrics, collar styles
and patterns will be broad. There will
also be some very handsome rough-tex-
ket, but you

tured models on the n
might do well to check before bu
and be
ble i

"5
sure you are physically comfort
them. Many are too heavy for

110) warm-weather wear to suit our taste.

A vote for high honors among new
jacs goes to a series of tricot styles in ace-
tate and acetate-and-rayon blends. Tri
«ot had a surge shirt fabric back in
the carly 1950s, but was plagued by an
irksome tendency to cling, and practical
ly disappeared. Since th
been n improvements
It tailors well and keeps the airy con-
suruction that first made it popular, but
without sticking. We sce wicot now
getting the second chance it deserves.

Sports minded knit shirts will again be
very much part of the summer scene.
"The Henley shirt in striped textures, ter-
rycloth. and even velour, will be around,
as well as pullovers and button-front
cardigan models.
lared sport shirts will present a
broad spectrum of weayes and yarn sizes.
Among the best bets we sce are a cotton
that looks like linen, a pin dot and a
lightweight Bedford cord. ‘This year you
will also begin to sce a number of sport-
shirt and cardigan-sweater combinations
being sold.

‘The sweater has been pigconholed for
far too long as strictly something to keep
you warm in cold weather. We have al-
ways believed that this versatile garment
should be used as a fashion accessory in
all seasons. This season, manufacturers
have answered our call and will be turn-
ing out a number of excellent. light
weight sweaters that can be worn in any
weather and still be comfortable. The
big news will be in textured fabrics, in-
cluding bouclé, linen and synthetic
blends, as well as subtle knitted cable
effects. Alpaca has reached the classic
sage by now. Particularly appropriate
for golfing, it is good anywhere. In the
less exotic materials, you will be able to
take your choice of V necks, burly and
mubby lightweight cottons, fisherman's
knits, bantamweight wools and pastel-
toned brushed-mohair blends. The new-
est sweater idea this spring is a velvety,
lush-knit velour in cotton or synthetics,
which we recommend highly for the club
beach.

In pullovers, we like the new scram-
bled links that give the sweater a hand-
made s always will
score well. But if your budget docsn't
allow that luxury, you can settle for Or-
lon or lamb's wool In many cases it
takes a real pro to tell the difference.
Take a look at some of the cardigans
with sueded trim and bold stitching that
give a flavor of elegance not often scen

n men's woolen goods. If you can carry
off the Continental flair of Italian-style
knits, you will have a good selection this
spring, The layered winter sweater th
looks like a turtleneck under a pullover,
but is actually one garment, has bei
adapted in lightweight yarns and will be

reappearing as casual summerwear.

RAINCOATS AND OUTERWEAR: History
forgets the name of the World War 1
British officer who first fastened hand
grenades to his raincoat and then wore
the outfit into the trenches. But Hum
phrey Bogart certainly made the style
stick, and now Sean Connery curries it
on. Undoubtedly spurred by the adven-
turous doings of 007, we feel the wench
coat coming back again stronger than
ever under the cover of a rash of subtle
variations. Some strive for the authentic
look of the bulky British version with
full shoulders and chest and plenty of
flair below the belt line. These coats
have all the bits and pieces of the tradi-
tional trench—full belt, back yoke,
patch, epaulets, D rings, storm tab, et
al. There will also be a number of
slimmed-down versions which have climi-
nated many of the frills and are cut to
a narrower silhoucuc. A single-breasted
version is in the offing which technically
Y't a trench coat at all, but retains the
martial air of the original. Black, tan or
natural, off-white and olive will be the
big colors for the coat, and a few medi-
um shades in muted patterns will be
‘ound to give you a wider choice.
You should also find some very good
short raincoats, cut well above the knees.
This style looks as if it has the makings
of a real trend, so if you are in the
market for new rainwear, check to be
sure you are not buying a coat that
might shortly become outdated.

A new wend in outerwear will be
splashy linings that offer everything i
the way of artwork from interesting ab-
suact designs to full-scale paintings.

For the really informal occasion, be it

a golfing date or a beach picnic, there
ill be a wide assortment of "pullons
available. One we like is a lightweight
parka that comes in vinyl-coated fabrics
and can double as foul-weather gear or
after-swimming wear for the sunnicst
of days. This style will be out in nylon
taffeta, duck, chambray and madras, as
well as a nylon that's printed to look
like madras. It comes fitted with zippers
ad snap fasteners.
New, highstyle cardigans that c:
sed as jackets because of their lami
nated sleeves and backs with suede
fronts, will be out this spring, along wi
corduroys and cotton suede leisure jack-
ets every style from buuon-front
blouses to bush coats.

SWIMWEAR: In swimsuits you will be
seeing some colorful adaptations of old
school and club tie techniques. Pro
fessional competition stripes, which origi
nated at the surfing clubs of Waikiki
Beach, have been adapted and make for
a striking appe: nywhere. This
big swim short is a copy of the real

(concluded an page 171)

ance

DOUBLE
‘TAKE

there on the old fifth avenue
bus, enveloped by the mists
of time, he fell in love with a
hauntingly beautiful stranger

fiction
By JACK FINNEY

WHEN JESSICA WALKED into the club
car, everyone knew with one star-
tled glance that this was somebody
special, someone important, and I
sat watching their eyes and mouths
pop open. Out of the world’s three
billion people there can't be more
than, say, a hundred women like
Jessica Maxwell. Her red-brown
hair was thick and shining with
health, her brown eyes magnificent.
her complexion so flawless your
fingers ached to touch it, her figure
marvelous. But that doesn't tell you
how beautiful she was; I can only
say that if you were staggering to-
ward a hospital with three bullets in
your chest, you'd stop and turn to
stare after Jessica if she walked past.

She said, “Hi, Ja smiled so
that an actual chill ran up my
spine, and sat down beside me. Peo-
ple sat sipping drinks, glancing out
windows, turning pages and sneak-
ing looks, but I was pretty sure no
one actually recognized her. She'd
been in only two pictures, in small
parts; on the screen less than a min-
ute in one of them. But of course
they knew she almost had to be in
pictures; we were out of Los An-
geles station only 20 minutes, and
with looks like hers what else could
she be?

We talked, I made a joke or so,
she laughed. delightedly, and every
man in the car sat sizing me up,
eyes narrowed, resentful, wondering
who the hell E was to be with a girl
like Jess. Well, I wondered, too. 1
work for the same studio, and was
in love with Jessie or close to it, but
who wasn't? I didn't even know her
well—just through this one picture
—and Fm only a dialog director.
Eventually I'll be a director, maybe
a very damn good one, but no one
else knows that, and right now I'm
not much in job or looks,
I'm only average height, skinny, 26,
name of Jake Pelman, and slightly
homely. I freely admit I'd rather be

ther.

PLAYBOY

taller, heavier, the world’s
finest rumba dancer, and a master with
foil and But as things stood, 1 had
to wonder why a girl like Jess had asked
even urged me, to take the train
| her. We were going to New York
to make a few last scenes for
rost of which had already
been filmed at the studio, and everyone
else in the unit was fly it’s
a long trip. So with Jess and me alone,
and nothing ele to do but get better
acquainted, my hopes were high.

‘Jake, would you like to come li
my bedroom?” Jessie said after tc
utes or so. and T allowed as how I would,
and stood up. A minute later she was
unfastening her bag, handing me a
script and explaining that three uninter
rupted days on the train were a wonder-
ful chance to get her New York scenes to
perfection. Would I mind helping? Read
through the scenes with her, and coach
her? It was why she'd wanted me to
come along, she explained innocently; at
least | think it was innocently

After a few stu ds in which
I stood hooting with inaud ble
jecring laughter at myself and my hopes,
I said Td be glad to, and we settled
down to work on Jessic's scenes for most
of the next three days. I didn't blame
her: these final few scenes were the big
gest of the picture for Jessie. One in
particular—we worked on it through Ill
nois, Ind Ohio, Pennsylvania, and

most 10 Grand Central. Station—was
her chance to be noticed, and she knew
Maybe every actor or actress has a
part like this early in his or her career:
the big one. the one that counts if only
you recognize it. Jessie did: she under-
stood. instinctively that this particul
a this particular picture was her
wd one she had to take, to
or oblivion.

We worked. We also had an occasional
drink in the club car, ate our meals to
sat and talked or read. even
played a liue gin, and got to know
cach other. But mostly we worked on
that scene. In the picture Jess was the
daughter of a woman speak-casy owner
in New York, played by the star; like
ost other studios these days, we were
making a picture set in the 19205. In her
big scene, Jess was in love with a much
older man, and was heartbroken when
he left her. An hour and a half out of
New York, Jessie laid her script on the
seat beside her and said. "I'm not get
ting it, am I, Jake? I'm no doser than
started," and the truth was
^t getting it at all
But I wasn't that truthful. 1 shrugged,

handsome,

m
w
on locatioi
the pictur

of cours:

ed secol

ble inv

her,

ked thoughtful, then said, “It
cds work, Jess. but Right
now, though, let it alone: drop it. Forget

ir ull you work out in New York with

nig the actor. Erniell be there; he'll help.

Ernie Wyke the director, a good
one; I'd learned from him and would
learn more. But I knew he wasn't going
to be able to help Jessi

I knew it because now I knew some-
thing else: that she didn't give a da
abont me. She was a beautiful girl,
nice one; I'd have liked Jess if she'd
been homely. She had none of the arro-
gant defensiveness of so many very good-
looking women. But now I knew she was
selfish. Not in an unpleasant way; she
liked me, she liked most of the pcople
around her, out of her own naturally
cheerful nature. But all she was really
interested in was her own ambition and
sel. And why now She was only 20:
plenty of child in her yet. When she'd
lived longer I was certain she'd chan
she was warmhearted and there were re-
serves of sympathy and understanding
sull untouched in her. But before she
changed, her career could be finished.
Sometime tomorrow she'd have to seem
before the camera what she might need
years to become, and I knew she
couldn't do it.

She wasn't getting thi
she didn't understand it. She couldn't
feel what the character she was playing
felt, which was love. She could play
young love. On the scrcen with a young
handsome man, all. Jessie had to do was
say she loved him and the audience be-
lieved her; they did her work for her.
But now she had to show them that she
was in love with a man morc than old
enough to be her father, be heartbroken
when he left her, and make the audience
believe every word and moment. And
becau reeranxious girl had nev-
er det herself know what love was, she
couldn't ne or feel it now. Riding
along beside the Hudson talking with
Jessie, pretty sure I was in love with her
now, 1 knew she was going to flop and
that there was nothing to do about it.

part. because

She di know, though; Ernie was
going to show her how.
In New York, Al Berg. the unit man-

ager had booked Jessie for the Plaza,
id me miles away, at the Gramercy
AL had also found an empty two
story brownstone house just off lower
Fifth Avenue, the street on which all our

the house as a unit headquarters for our
day of filming, so after | checked into
the hotel and changed into wash slacks
id a checked shirt, I walked over.

Tt was a fine spring night, temperature
pout 70. P: Park on the
; to Fifth, 1 could smell cut grass and
see the new green of the tree leaves in
the light from the street lamps. Then,
ilking down the cast side of Fifth to-
ward Washi 1 saw why we
were filming down here. This part of
Fifth. Avenue hadn't really changed too

much since the Twenties. Some of it hi
changed, of course; there were big new
apartment buildings. But the location
department had found stretches of sever
al blocks that still looked, so they said,
very much as they had in the middle
‘Twenties. Its a nice part of town, usual
"s always seemed to me—
ate from the noisy, always
changing rest of New York

Our headquarters, E saw when E got to
the old house, would do very well for a
short scene we had: Jessie walking down
the front steps pulling on a pair of
gloves. And I knew Al probably had a
use for every room inside. In the living
room he had some rented furniture, and
four members of the unit were sitting
around talking; the front door and all
windows were wide open and, because
there were no screens, the lights were
out, though there was a fair amount of
light from a street lamp just outside. Sit-
ting there drinking coffee or soft drinks
were Alice Weeks, Oscar Jorgensen, a
girl I didn't know and a young guy in a
T-shirt who was a camera assistant. I
nodded at him and spoke to Alice, vho
was in charge of our costumes—a tall
thin woman in her 40s wearing a sum-
mer dress Oscar, who was in shirt
sleeves, was our property man—thin,
middle-aged, bald and permanently wor-
ried. He introduced me to the girl, who
was sitting sideways on a window ledge.
one of her feet up on the sill. She was
wearing black stretch pants and a very
loose hip-length blouse with big wide
horizontal stripes. As 1 thought, she was
an actress, an extra hired here in New
York for a walk-on part.

I sat down, and took some kidding
about having come to New York by
train; this was mostly speculation over
whether my reason was cowardice about
flying, lechery for Jessie Maxwell, or
both. This was the lull before the storm,
and I sat enjoying having nothing to do.
The following morning the rest of the
unit would arrive and the work and con-
fusion would begin. Some 30 to 40 people
would be here: carpenters, electricians,
grips and gatlers, a came
not operate the camera,
tors and assistants who did, a sound mix-
cr, boom man, recorder and cableman,
c-up men, hairdressers, special-elfects
man, a check woman, script girl,
dozen others including a couple of whis-
tlemen and wigwags, who are the guys
who blow whistles and wave flags to
keep people from walking onto sets after
shooting starts. All these people with
equipmer
dred miles of cable, would begin get

^ one a

ally they'd be working together
ing cooperation of a hundred
disparate skills that gets the lile
pictures onto the lide squares of fi

(continued overleaf)

including a fe

ther's way, apparently.

es the best
pm

- - And the job actually combin

113

PLAYBOY

Oscar Jorgensen hadn't said much,
and pretty soon he walked to one of the
open windows and stood there, hands in
pockets, staring out. The camera assist-
ant, whose name, I remembered now,
was Joe Lan Don't worry, Oscar;
if we hav "ll push it for you.

Oscar just said, "Yeah," without turn-
ing around.

I said, “What’s the trouble?

"He's worried about the bus."
Didn't it get here?" For a moment I
as panicky; we had to usc this bus in
our two biggest scenes.

ght,

“Oh, it got here all

“Is it OK?"

Sure. We lashed it to a flatcar with
cable, covered it with plastic sheeting
and put a waterproof tarp over that. I
saw 1o it myself; it got here OK."

I smiled, thinking about the bus. This
was one of the old, bluntnosed, green-
andocam Fifth Avenue buses with
open-air seats up on a top deck that you
reached by climbing a winding staircase
at the back. For all 1 knew, this was the
only one left in the world: they'd last
used them in New York years ago. The
studio had bought it then, directly from
the bus company; it still had its ori
1926 license plates. They'd shipped it
3000 miles to Hollywood and used it on
an indoor streetsct in a picture abou
New York of the time. Now, 30odd
years later, for a picture about that same
but now-vanished New York, they

Ose;

id.

shipped the bus back to be filmed on the
streets. Hollywood has changed a lor,

but in some ways it never di
you. I said, "Where is it now?
“Half a block from here. There's a
ew apartm: g near University
Place, not quite finished, no tenants in
yet. Al rented the garage in the base
ment, and it’s in there. We trucked
over covered with the so
wouldn't get a crowd."
"Then what's the trouble
It came a day late; less d
nted to drive i

ppoints

tomorrow

morning for absolute sure.
He shrugged, worriedly. "Les. probably
all right. 1 had it in perfect shape when
we left; no reason it shouldn't be now."

Couldn't you drive it now, Oscar?
Around the block a couple times just 10
be. certain?’

Alice sid, "The cops, Jake, boy.
They'd yak if it drew a crowd, and hand
us a ticket for expired license plates.”

I nodded. In most cities the police will
let a movie company do almost any-
thing: block off streets all day and. paint
the city hall in stripes. But movie com-
panies are no novelty or joy to the New
York cops, and if you mess up traffic by
not following their orders, they'll throw
you out. I said, "What about later to-
ght? There wouldn't be enough peo-

114 ple out to get a crowd."

"Fd like to," Oscar said, turni

crowd, but a few people will sce us
and think they're out of their minds."

Everybody smiled,
"Hey. Alice; you
didn't you? Bus driv

‘Of course.”

“Well, if
that'd really be

Even Oscar gri
and the girl on the w
my costume’s here,
along?"

And that set us off.
room was putting down his cup or pop
bottle, then we all piled upstairs. Alice
had her costumes in an empty bedroom,
locked in their stenciled, olive«lrab.
heavy plywood shipping cases. Then, cau
tioning us, warning us what she'd do if
we damaged or lost a thread of her cos
tumes, cursing us out in advance, she
handed them out: conductor's uniform
and fare collector for Joe; a suit, white
shirt, bow tie and black shoes for me:
pair of dresses, hats and purses of the
Twenties for herself and the girl; and of
course Oscar took the bus driver's ui
form for himself; no one else was going
to drive that bus. During this—I heard
the cab door slam downstairs—Jessie ar-
rived, heard us, came up, and we briefed
her on what was going on, and of course
ted to go, too.

couple of us put them on,

sight!

ll said, “If

too, can D com

body in the

costumes Jessie would wear during
filming: then we all went to the dressing
rooms—two bedrooms fitted out with
portable make-up tables and lighted mir-
rors. My outfit was too big. and Joe's
form too small, so we traded and I

became the bus conductor. I was just as
l The 1926 suit was authentic but
not much dillcrent from Ivy League

suits of today, and | thought ] cut a
more interesting figure as dhe conductor
Downstairs we looked onc
over. The women looked
wore the kind of costumes we
come pretty familiar with Lately: the
short skirts, oddly placed hiplines, the
tightfitting felt hats. Jessie looked ter
rific; its ve that a fallible,
mortal human being could be so beaut
s rly handsome legs,
and of course this outfit showed them
nk that’s one reason she got the
part. ss and hat, which were
powder blu a made especi
for her, and in some way 1 don't u
nd they'd been subtly moder

old-fashioned, but
The other two—the girl in a
ch-colored dress and Alice in tan—
looked OK. and so did Joe. Oscar and 1
didn't look like much of anything i
couple of wor
and caps with sh

We had to w
wouldn't start till
around downstairs talking, excited,
laughing a lot. Alice wouldn't let
smoke for fear of burning a hole in one
of her costumes, and whenever one of us
itehen and came back with
de him drink standing up
and leaning forward so as not to spill
drop on her outfits.

At half past 12 we all walked half a
block east and across the sweet to the
new apartment building, then dow
ramp of new white concrete, and
through the entrance to the basement

vas high-ceilinged just here,
designed so that a moving van could
back right in and up to the doors of a
service elevator. Oscar snapped on a light
switch. and there she stood like a
great square elephant covered by a big
brown-ca Joe and 1
helped Oscar drag it olf, then 1 stood
smiling with pleasure. I'd been a liue
kid whe one of these, but I
remembered everything 1 saw now: the
boxlike metal hood over the motor, sur
mounted by a radiator cap; the green
metabspoked wheels and hard-rubber
tires; the upwardsslanting sides, the ray
wood-framed windows; and way up on
top, the metal-grilled | wooden-railed
fence enclosing the outdoor seats of v
nished wood. They were fine old buses,
joy to ride, even if a shade less profitable
than the miserable monsters they have
now, and I was glad to see one again.

She started up quickly enough, Joc
cranking the engine alter Oscar showed
him how. Oscar
idled the motor, then he smiled and
beckoned us in. I told Joe to turn oll the
garage lights; he obeyed
and while he was doing that 1 got
the bus and sat down neat to Jessie. We
led at cach other, the garage lights
went off and Oscar turned on his head-
lights. He shifted gears, Joe hopped on
and Oscar pulled up the ramp in low.
We drove west three quarters of a block
to Fifth, Oscar listening t0 the engine
with his head cocked. Jt sounded
the ch:
just as 1 remembered.

At Fifth Oscar stopped, and a very
nice coincidence happened, one that
pleased us past the front
of the b af those mag.
nificently restored old cars, a handsome
squ g as good as
the day it was new, which was probably

(continued on page 140)

for over an hour; Os-
12:30. So we sat

went to the

coffee, she

Vd last se

or maybe a minute

uromatically

copped sedan lool

PLAYMATE PLAY-OFF
do Collins

China Lee

Astrid Schulz

cast your vote for playmate of the year
from among this trio of comely candidates

FOR THE SECOND TIME in our 11 years of publishing, the editors
of praynoy have been unable to accomplish the pleasant task
from among the past
annum’s delightful dozen. Alter several recounts, the voting

of selecting one Playmate of the Yea

remained deadlocked in a three-way tie among the comely
centerfold charmers whose names appear above. ‘Turning,
therefore, to a procedure established two years ago in a simi-
Jarly contested race, we again ask our readers to cast the tie-
breaking votes and choose the lucky miss who will be our
reigning Playmate during the coming year. In return, we will
present a pictorial uncoverage of the winner as soon as the
final tally is in. The candidates: Top: Bright-eyed Jo Collins
(Miss December), an aspiring actress, successful fashion and
television model and amateur painter-phorographer who, at
19, is rapidly adding new dimensions (36-94-36) to the Holly-
wood scene. At presstime, Jo was preparing for her first video
role, signing a new TV modeling contract, and taking jazz-
dancing lessons in her few remaining free hours, Center; Scru-
table China Lee (Miss August) calls Chicago her home, but, at
22, has traveled all over the nation as a Playboy Club Tr
ing Bunny. An accomplished sportswoman and seasoned per-

former, with two film appearances plus an LP and a hit single
to her recording credits, China's talented resources (35.
will receive further recognition this year when she cuts several
new vocal sides for Ava Records and plays a significant
cinematic role in an upcoming 20th Century-Fox release. Bot-

tom: Sultry Astrid Schulz (Miss September), a quadrilingual
Hollandaise beauty with 2 European background in ballet,
light opera and high fashion, also figures (36-23-36) as a strong
contender for Playmate-of-the-Y nce her arrival
in this country, Astrid has landed parts in two films and made
her TV debut on the Kraft Suspense Theater. Just back from
a homecoming trip to the Netherlands, Astrid has been
booked to do a Warner Brothers teleplay and a
cling assignments for French designer Georgette Trilerc. As
you can happily see, the members of this talented t

ries of mod-

bear

attractive similarities —dark hair, dark eyes and promising ca-
reers in the performing arts. Therefore, in order to clarify the
issue, we have provided the following six pages of photo re-
portage on each candidate's qualifications, along with her per-
sonal campaign pitch, Gentlemen, we a

ait your mandate.

Jo Collins

“Being elected Playmate of the Year
would be the wildest thing that’s ever
happened to me. Not only would 1 get

the chance to travel around the country

representing America’s greatest

magazinc—l'd be paid for the privilege,
besides. I could use the bonus money
to study dramatics, and the publicity

would undoubtedly be a big help to my
carecr. But to tell the truth, I want

to win simply because it would be a gas!”

China Lee

“A vote for me would serve notice to
the entire world that the popular
image of the shy and retiring Oriental
female is long overdue for a change.
Of course, the money and prizes would
be a kick, and the fame would probably
enhance the sales of my new records.
But since I consider being a Bunny my
main career, my purpose in winning
would be to show every young Oriental
girl how silly it is to Inde her
beauty for tradition’s sake.”

Astrid Schulz

an think of no higher honor for a
newcomer to this country than to be
chosen Playmate of the Year. I think

the whole idea of rLavnoy and its
Playmates is as American as apple pie
and coffee, and winning this election
would certainly be the finest example
of American hospitality that I have
ever experienced. Needless to say,
my theatrical ambitions would also
get a big boost out of it.”

,iupd (ue paq auotuv ww),

Ribald Classic
from Les Cent
Nouvelles Nouvelles

pomposity
repaid by a knave

THERE ONCE ance a sly and dili-
ut collector of dues who, after much tenac-
ity and travail, obtained the attentions of the
lusty wife of a pompous neighbor. Deft was
the olficial's guidance of the liaison to a stage
where the woman promised him d

would frolic merrily the first night hi
band departed on a journey.

In good time their opportunity arrived.
No sooner was the husband gone than the
ped nimbly into the bed of the jovial
- Alongside stood a way of spices and
keep the

p
posed she door Molle eet US QUIM
dent voice of the husband, unexpectedly re-
turned and demandin ance.

Knowing that to delay his immediate e
trance would arouse his suspicions (since
the collector, in securing the friendship of the
husband and, hence
couraged such frequent
visits). the superbly self-confident lover, bid-
ding the terrified wife to conceal herself un-
der the bedelorhing. at once opened the
door, then with speed returned to his bed.

“L had traveled but a short distance when I
remembered a request I had intended to ask
of you,” said the husband, entering the bed-
room. “It is that you watch over my wife
while E am away. She is such a timid morsel,
asily affrighted.”

“OF course,” answered the collector from
his bed. “Had I a wile, you would do the
same for me, I am sure

Observing then the table laden high with

nd unannounced

exotic viands and noting the form of another

the bed, the husband broke imo a short
snicker and called the collecior a philanderer
“Lite time you will have to watch over

my wife tonight!” said he. “Master seducer,
you should at least show me the wench

Whereupon, candle in hand, he attempted
10 remove the bedclothing from his quiver-
ing wile, making such a plague of himself
that the collector finally showed him not all
the strampet, but only her des f
cried the husband. “If | were not c
yokemate was at home, 1 would swear
was her backside before me.

“What lite honor you ascribe t0 yo
iful wife, sir." replied the collector indig-
tly, covering with a flourish the checks of
his bedmate. “Return to your house and you
will see her there."

“That E shall,” replied the fool, "for if the
truth be known, the sight of so comely à
rump has made me greedy for certain pleas-
ures which, unforumiately—and unlike
T shall be forced to take with a mere wife
And, snickering still, he departed the house.
leaving a chuckling collector and an almost
hysterical spouse

"Quick, my love!" whispered the scc
“Go through the gate to vour house. Ye
be there before he re the longer
way around." While she gathered her apparel,
he with speed instructed her in the manner in
which she ought speak and act before the
oaf—in accordance with a plan he was cer-
tain would further their liaison.

No sooner had the wile arrived home by
the shorter route than she heard her hus
band's insistent blows upon the doo

“Who is it?” cried she in some heat
Your good husband.

My husband! My husband has departed
on a journey!”

‘Open the door, wife!" bellowed the fool.
“L cannot. bear being away from your sweet-
ness one night.

“Wicked whoremonger, whoever you are
she returned. “I will not let you in here!”
Whereupon she forced her spouse to spend
the length of the night shivering upon the
llagstones without their chamber door

she screeched the following
after allowing him to enter, “You
ned your departure in order to put me to
a test! You are not worthy to be married 10
so chaste a woman. 1" On and on she
raved, the very picture of outraged virtu
until her husband's fury, which had mounted

my
this

'ou—

ty, appeasement, and then
ation

ze my foolishness.” the poor wretch
t night T came from a place
where there was much lechery, and I was not
myself."

L sce!” the wanton raged. “Lecherous vil
lain! Having satisfied your lust you come
direct from a brothel to your chaste wife!”

No, no," he whimpered. “In the name of
heaven, let us not talk of it further.”
ing to herself, the strumpet gradually
sed her tirade until, with a show of reluc-
tance, she forgave him after he had promised
at great length never again to give her any
cause to suspect him of unfaithiulness. And
thereafter she went often and without fear
through the postern with a certain ollering
for the collector, for, as her sly lover had
foreseen, from that day on her husband dis-
covered many reasons why he should depart on
many journeys from a wife who, strangely,
was not sorely provoked by his absence.

— Retold by John D. Keefauver ED

PLAYBOY

OLD WAN PULASKI
were lame, horsy and obscene, and a
nineyearold kid coming out ol the
gloom of hall twilight grinning [rom
car to ear with a set of Pulaski’s finest
gleaming like nightmare fangs undoubt-
edly se iday-night pedes-
n directly to the Salvation Army to

however,

take the pledge. We did not
Miss Shields.

eying us, Miss Shields stood for a
long moment beside her desk and
silendy reached out her claw, palm. up
ward, and said simply:

"Give them to mc.

And one by one she definged us,
stashing the choppers in her lower-left-
hand drawer along with 67 rubber dag
gers, 922 official Duncan competition
Yo-yos, 36 bird whistles. a round dove
Throw-UR-Voice ventriloquist gadgets
purchased by mail from Joh
Smith, 2 wax mice on a string,
I of water pistols, cap
carbide cannons—and 17 small,
thumbed, smudgy volumes of pocketsize
comic books picturing the clandestine
adventures of Maggie and Jiggs. Miss
Shields had seen a lot, and wax false
teeth were just another wave in an end.
less sea. of surrealistic nuttiness that she
had fought all of her life.

Another wax specialty that had a ce
vain illicit air about it was a small wax
bottle filled with a colored, sickeningly
sweet syrup, usually green or red in col.
er, and a sure-fire appetite killer. These
bortles had a vaguely illegal quality to
them, since they had the unmistakable
hint of jug
of that ov Saturday nights in our neigh
The bottles were not shaped
in the form of milk containers; the kids

ien

son X
lethal
d
well-

arse

hitting,

ad there was plen

borhood.

were practicing to be grownups cven
then.
The wax itself was invariably chewed

after the boule had been drained or the
false teeth had Jost their charm, and had
distinctive, vaguely fragrant taste
which even now I detect from time to
time in collee containers at ball games.
An old wax cater never forgets.

Just before supperüme, | Pulaski's
would he packed with a jostling throng
of customers. Guys from the open hearth
ing tin hats, buying next week's
pply of weed: Old Virginia Licorice
Twist, Honest Plug Tobacco, Dago Ci-

gars and Peach Blossom Chewing Suull.
Short fat ladies haggling over soup meat.
And kids making the big choice.

At this point, perhaps, 1 should de-
scribe the kaleidoscopic variety of penny
candy that has become a classic substra-
tum of Americana, No other country I
know ol has anything remotely like it.

JuJu Babies were exactly what they

124 sound like—small, rubbery, symbolic fer-

(continued from page 83)

tility figures of different colors—black,
red, yellow—molded in the form of an
archetypal infant, Sexless, the JuJu
Baby represented all postnatal mankind,
to be devoured by man himself —or, rath-
er, boy. The JuJu Baby had a habit of
getting stuck in ihe back teeth, and E re-
member a transparent yellow one thar
remained jammed bly betw
two molars for the better part of thr
years. This was perhaps my first step i
furthering the cause of dentistry.

There was also the root beer barrel,
beloved of kids of slightly more ad
need and subtle tastes. A small, com-
pact item molded in the form of a tiny
barrel, sprinkled over with sugar grains
and Lasting roughly like a fine blend of

immov:

stale root beer and gritty cake i The
root beer barrel had the extra advantage

of being cheap. Since few kids bought
them. they were
a cent. Demand, neve
controls price.

aly five to seven fc
quality, always

For more frivolous c particularly
or girl types, there was a tin pie plate
about the size of a half dollar f
a semisolid gloppy paste, usually pink,
yellow or brown in color, that was
dredged up with a tiny tin spoon. Many
a tongue was split [rom end to end with
the razorlike edge of this lethal instru
ment. The taste of these pies is not casy
to define, since it had none other than a
kind of electric, incisor-tingling, unider
tifiable sweetness. There were no other
flavors, despite the different color

Occasionally Pulaski would import a
rarer item for his regu
actly like the pi
tion except th

uy Customers, ex
tin

nd-spoon combina-
it the paste was in the
pe of a tiny, tasteless but somehow
subtly app: . T frankly ad
1 was a sucker for these fricd eggs
and had even developed a technique fe
eating them that I still follow today with
the real article. Using my spoon to scoop
out the brilliant orange “yolk,” 1 would
attack. the white by quadrants and final-
ly, after licking the pan, would throw it
at the back of Zudock's head.

Licorice came in many forms and sev-
distinct. textures. There were, of
ihe waditiona] smooth, shiny
whips, red and black, which I hated.
The only time 1 exer was cursed with
these was when Aunt Clara, who to this
day believes I am a mut on licorice,
would bring a bag of them home to me.
The licorice pipe, made of a more crum-
bly, bitter licorice, wi ny style. A

sh:

ng fried cg;

e
course,

s more
curving stem and upswept bow! of the
1 calabash shape made the li
barely palatable. Many an eve
my paper route, licorice pipe clamped in
my square jaw, root beer barrel tucked
next to the secondto-thelast- molar on

ing on

the right, jawbreaker 10 the left,
tongue jet black, I sucked dextrose en,
gy into the marrow of my bones while
rotting the roots of my second teeth be-
yond repair as 1 delivered the Chicago
Herald-Exaniner.

There were other, lesser penny can-
dics: those strips of white paper doued
with geometric rows of nasty little yel-
low, white, blue and red pellets of sug;
fit only for cretins and. two-year-olds:
oiLflavored, peanurshaped
obscenities so beloved. of. elderly. ladies
and

those bar

ziris with pimples: the jelly orange

slices and other such sissified confee
rks that
nt leaves, for
olds, are
an acquired taste. like roquefort cheese,
which must be grown into. The Hat, co-
conuclHlavored. watermelon slice
red, greeu-rinded, black-seeded, spr

There were a few minor w

bear mention. The spear
instance, too subtle for ten-year

-blood

evenly with sugar and flyspecks. Oh
yes, and the candy ice-cream cones with
Cloyingly sweet pinkamd-white-marsh-

mallow “ice eam” covered with sugar-
The tiny ved cinnamon hearts that Old
Man Pulaski sold by the scoopful from
me wooden barrel
dicable for days, and arrogantly
unplea

But it is the jawbresker, when all i

ami

iner

ant.

said and done, that represents the abso
Jute piunacle of the world of penny can
dy, lost but lingering on in
countless root canals. The jawbreake
requires and actually deserves an entire
treatise—which, of course, space does not
permit here. But 1 will do my best to de-
scribe dr brielly: The virgin, or un
sucked, jawbreaker in its natural. state
was roughly a full inch in diameter and
as hard and unyielding as obsidian.
"There were two basic jawbreakers which
ctually were divergent. types. of the
same majestic, classic bicuspid buster.
They were simply known as "red" and
“black,” the red being coated on the out
side with a brilliant, flaming, gleaming,
smooth candy enamel of pure carmine;
nd the black, . yer som
how dignified in its glistening, pristine
ebony shell, which I
a as a study in she
c un

asterwork i

s nor ye

proved up

net.
y. Here was and is

ric and acsth
nuly a the penny-candy
genre of creativity. Structurally, both
jawbreakers were identical, but both
represented opposing sides of the natu
of man and his universe. Yin and vang,
‘The red-jawbreaker man rarely touched
the black, and the blick-jawbreaker ad
herent knew what he wanted and would
oth

accept
The j

g else.

wbreaker was mever

chewed,
but sucked over long periods of time—
sometimes a couple of months, with
breaks lor me:ls—allowed to soak in the

(continued on page 181)

Topping off the well-groomed man

article By JAY SEBRING
the noted men’s hair stylist presents a comprehensive guide to individualized haircuts and correct hair care

FOR THE PAST SIX. YEARS, I have been de:

ring hair styles for men and offering them advice on grooming their hair. My base of
operations is Hollywood, where an actor's career can rise and fall ou the strength of his personal appearance. But actors aren't

the only clientele at my three shops in West Hollywood, Palm Springs :

d Las Vegas. A potpourri of doctors, lawyers, politi
cians, cen

gers and even construction workers have paid up to $30 per visit for my services
With such a wide cross section of customers, l've I

ad ample opportunity to observe every variety of men's hair, My conclu-
sions: The condition of most American men's hair is deplorable. Their heads are burdened with grease and oil, They favor total-
ly unnatural hair styles. Most wear their hair too short and bristly. And more men than realize it wind up looking like the
village idiot, their heads gummy with gook and grime, their haircuis completely out of keeping. By the time half of them reach

tities of hair and have difficulty understanding why

80, they've started to lose large qu
The reason is simple: They are negligent. The majority don't know how to care for their hair, and those who do frequent-
ly lick the patience to do it, And yet Ameri

n males spend roughly $850,000,000 annually on a motley array of shampoos and
hair dressings. They succeed only in loading down the scalp with more oil than it can naturally handle. Men with very fine-
textured hair like mine

e encouraged to anoint themselves with tonics, creams and elixirs. Their hair looks like a cat with wa-

ter on its back. A man can have a good, full head of

0,000 hairs, bur if it is very fine and he uses oil on it, dhe oil mats the
hair down, amd you can sce right through to thy

scalp. If the hair is cut properly, there is no need for oils, since their only func-
tion is to keep the hair in place.
The prime conditioning factor in maintaining a healthy head of hair is a daily shampoo. So often, mainly through Luiness,

men forget —or can't be bothered —to wash their hair. This is hard to believe. I don't care if a m

n is riding a horse in Mai
boro country; his hair should be well groomed and clean even if his head looks wild. When you come indoors [rom being out in

125

PLAYBOY

the sun, you are obliged to shower and wash away the suntan oil or the chlorine or the salt. It’s just as simple to wash your |

with shampoo while you're taking a shower—instead of just running soap through it, which leaves a dulling film. The type

in hair conditioner

of shampoo that should be used is critical. T recommend an extremely mild solurion containing a built

"The condi-

that gives the ra natural sheen and also adds body, which most men need because their hair is cut so shor

r us well as soften coarse hair. But one should never use an un-
er, castile

toner coats each hair sha

t and helps build body in fine ha

modified castile shampoo, which many consider the cure-all for hair ills. The [act is that if you don’t have soft w

e the

o the mixture, The film tends to le

softener is built

shampoo will leave a soapy film on the scalp—untess a wa

hair sticky and to clog the pores, and makes

1 difficult to get a comb through the hair.

‘There is no truth to old wives’ tales warning that daily washing or frequent wetting of the hair precipitates hair loss. As a

E r: It keeps the pores clean, This ac-

er of Fact, daily washing with a bland shampoo is the best thing you can do for your h

tually inhibits I
When washin
ly rubs the hi

1 loss, vest receding hairlines.

d in 70 percent of cases can help à
t

your h sers Lor mass:

only moderately ellective to use your fir

y ihe scalp, for this technique mere-

ainst the scalp. The finge an't get right down to the scalp to remove that dead, scaly skin commonly known

as dandrull. A scalp brush should be used instead, though it may tingle a bit at first if you're not conditioned to using it.

Brushing the hair after shampooing also has some value, Like washing, brushing should be done in a scrubbing motion

rather than a stroking motion, to eliminate loose skin and scale. I recommend a plastic brush with wideset teeth rather than

one with bristles, which tend to flatten the hair. Brushing can also be helpful before washing the hair, mavbe even the nig]

à wn

bcforc. The best time for washing is in the mo . The hair should then be combed into place, brushed once a

illy topped with

fine mist of spray to set it into place. The spray is a substance I adr

its bone dry and then can be optioi n

t hair from blowi:

around. It dries

ister in place of oil to preve almost instantly and thus docs not attract dirt like common

grooming aids. It also contains conditioner that coats the h

ir shafts and adds body. But many of my customers can get along

perfectly well without it, since, with my methods, the hair is cut vi

to place.
In effective grooming. a styling comb, with thick teeth on one end and fine teeth on the other, is sometimes he!pful. The
ally be m:

vhich can r le just as well with à

only time 1 would consider employing it, however, would be for making a part
If

ad thes and brush it into place. H à comb is

brush. 1 brush the hair down, all forward. d the part with my fingers, sp

desired, however, 1 would favor a good hard-rubber styling comb.

For conditioning the head. 1 favor periodic hov-oil treatments for the scalp, especially for the pei

son with overac

ables the

t tend to produce scales. The hot oil is applied, then the head is enclosed in a heat cap which e
skin a

Dandrull—those layers of dead skin that accumulate ov

ceous glands th

nd lift it off easily and thoroughly. This is much safer than harsh seraping with à com

th the dead,

get unde

period of time—is a natural condition with which everybody

who have d.

is alllicted now and then. In television commercials, there is a terrible onus placed on me ndrutl. But people

nothe

tend to disregard the fact that some dandruff is normal and even healthy. How to cope with it is proposition altogethe

The answer, again, is to make certain the hair is washed every day.

jor grooming problems: the loss of hair. Men tend

companies one of man’s ma

Absence of dandruli, oddly enough, often a

ond ihi loss of. 1000 hairs per week, which are nor-

10 disappear be

to feel they are fal norm:

g apart when their hair beg

guy whose hairline has started to recede will automatically feel older. The Lact is liat approx
lly

at where

mally replaced by others, A your

loss by the age of 25. As they mature, the hairline natur

imately 25. percent of American. males have noticed some h:

xl, the hairli

ight there,

caching a |

creeps back somewhat: but if the second line of defense is è stops recedin

m, the hair starts thinni

ic kind of icc out all (continued on page 17.

it looks distinguished. In another, more diam

Hmm. nmt

c- ^

OVAL FACE: Hair should be me- SQUARE FACE: Hoir should be ROUND FACE: To de-emphosize LONG FACE: Hoir should lie foir-
dium length, sideburns oligned full on sides to offset fullness of rotund jowline, hoir should be ly flet on top, but not short.
with cheekbone. Port should loce. Sideburns olso should be worn full on top ond sides. Sides should be full. Length of
stort (os with oll face shopes) full ond should extend below Sideburns should be os long os sideburns should depend on

126 ot point of moximum recession. cheekbone. Part is unnecessary. on squore foce. Port opticnol. — length of foce. Port is desiroble.

To one Victorian crilic, “the spectacle” of actress Ma;
John C. ‘pasturing on each other's lips" in the sereen’s first ki:

lyric of the Stock Yards"

Irwin and mustachioed

was “no more than a
but it became an S-RO. sensation in the nickelodeons of 1896.

born in an age in which a glimpse of stocking was shocking,

the mickelodeom's racy peep shows unveiled everything from

spooning couples to french nudes and egyptian belly dancers
—and unleashed a new breed of sanctimonious censors

by
Arthur night and Follis Alpert

> vee ees —— BE d

ON apc Ee We Gee l
vea te ee es Y

Smash hit of Chicago's Columbian
ion in 1893 was an amply endowed belly
dancer whose exotic name—Fatima—became
legion when her “dance of the veils" was im-
mortalized on film for pecp-show patrons in
1906. Soon after, however, she became the first
victim of movie censorship when bluenose author-
superimposed stencited picket fences over
the “offending portions” of her undulating torso»

art One: The Original Sin

IN THE 70-YEAR HISTORY of the cinema—a medium which can claim
with some truth that it has profoundly influenced, if not revolution
ized, popular culture, morals and social customs throughout the
world—perhaps its paramount dilemma has been the vexing question
n may properly reflect to

of what the surface of the silver scri
myriad patrons. Hardly had the photog
when objection to the manner and form of its movement be
kind of continuing counterpoint to its commercial and artistic prog-
ress. Early moviemakers were incessantly exhorted—and someti
legally compelled—to conform to Victorian standards of conduct à

phed image begun to move

content. Because the movies began as peep shows, they soon acqu
the undeserved taint of the shady and the suggestive, and the new
istic

piction of se
anxiety among those alr
fellow men. Thu

the history of se
psychological relevance that goes lar beyond the medium itself, and
this chronicle may be viewed, therefore, as a unique kind of psycho-
se an objective account, ol the cinema's weat-
ment of erotica and of the repression it has so often inspired.

al history,

to paraphrase the old French saying. Tod:

s as it was 60 years
ago, the question of the questionableness of sex on the sereen re-
mains an agitating matter for the makers of motion pictures. But
throughout the American film industry, once swathed in the wraps
of its own pious Production Code, there seems to be a growing aware-
ness that nudity need not be equated with pornography, nor love-
making with lubricity. The tides of change are upon us at last: and
caught up
shalt nots,” and the unofheial reformer, with his thundered charges

a that change a “thou

re the ollicial censor, with his p

of moral corruption at any attempt to treat realistically, honestly and

art
Supreme Court, in a series ol sweeping decisions ov
years, has cut the ground out Irom under both of them. But more

ically what are generally called “the facts of life.” Legally, the

er the past dozen

med thar it can absorb
portrayal of sex on the screen, as in cllini’s La Dolce Vita,
apily staging a Roman orgy of its own. Our films
growing up, and our audiences with them. Only the censor lags
behind.

E
the watchdog of the past, the guil-ridden guard

important, the ticket-buying public has indi
a fran

without p

» however, has been the immemorial role of the censor. 1e is

1 of a hypocriti

moral status quo outmoded long belore he takes up the cudgels in

its—

ul secretly, his own—delense, Else why delend it so vigorously?
The sharpen
conventions, producing new fons, new concepts that not merely

ng edge of the arts cuts deeply across traditions and

challenge, but subvert the old. ‘Those who regard sex not only as

TITILLATION: Typical of the attractions that scandalized —and mesmerized —the
pecp-show-going public were, al Left, the uplifting tale of three dice-playing doxies
caught in the act by the law's long arm; aud, at right, a short but snappy course in
gymnastics taught by a diaphanously draped damsel who obviously knew the ropes.

PLAYBOY

n but
e piously and often pathologically
committed to a rigid and censorious
merpretation of morality, sense the
ih the ms wrath and
support of Mul o[ like-
they rie to joi
battle, to wreck vengeance on society for
their own obsesive prurience. For

time they can look for public approba-
tion with some confidence; the
trenched authorities of state, press
churches will be behind them. But eve
these authorities are more responsive to
the movement of history, the counsels
of reason amd the biological realities
than are the censors. In the dynamic of
society, the censors are perpetually fight-
ing a repressive rear-guard action to pro-

uncle

reprehensible, those who

firm
minded

reformers,

tea their own sick set of moral

sundards, and to perpetuate a way of

life that often has long since vanished
it ever in existed.

Nowhere—except pert
television, which lies beyond the scope

ual lag among censors more glaring
in the feld of motion pictures. Because
the movies portray lile in a realistic way
d also because they are produced for
profit—they are particularly sensitive to
shifts and changes in. tastes and values.
When Pillow Talk, to name a recent es
ample, began to rack up unanticipated
grosses all across the United States, ev
studio flew into production with frankly
imitative ellorts. in which the heroine
y or a reasonably exact facsim-
ile) strove successfully to protect her
virginity against amusing but formidable
odds, and in which the flippant dialog
(written by Stanley Shapiro or a reason:

bly exact facsimile) was more Hagrantly
before

gestive than anythi
rd in American pictures s
Moon Is Blue. :
have appeared, wi
casts and titles, that it is quite impossi-
differentiate
Over, Darling and a Lover Come Bach.
What all have in commor i
their ready acceptance by American
dicnees—and B ratings ("Morally obje
tionable in part or all”) from the Legion
of Decency.

But the vagaries of the censorious
mind are not the primary concern of
this PLAYBOY series, psychiatrically in-
triguing though they be, Rather, because
the censor represents an organized and
articulate minority in any society, he
becomes useful as a barometer for the
temper of the times. What shocked the
censors im the early 1900s often seems
even charming in 1965
ly, scenes in. American
es that may slip unscathed through
own censors today are
often ruthlessly climinated by the censor

g ever

ble to between a Move

howeve:

sis

boards of England or Sweden; and vice
190 versa. Censorship, like morality, is a mat-

ter of time as well as of place and pa-
thology.) This transiency, coupled with
the vindictive ence of most cen-
sors. casts a very special light upon the
films of an era nation, one that
illuminates not merely the movies the
selves, but the morals and mores that
helped shape them

In tracing à history of the treau
of sex in the cinem

n
. therefore, the cen
sors censure is often more significant
than the critics’ approbation —or even
the publics acceptance expressed in
terms of. box-office dollars. For the pub
lic can always be lured into a theater to
purchase a ticket for a movie sight un-
seen, or barred from a theater by the
watchdogs of decency and, still sight un
seen, contribute to a film's commercial
failure. But whether the censors’ grip
upon the medium be weak or firm at
ny given moment, their voices are al-
ways the loudest.

Censorial voices were loud at the very
birth of the film medium. Terry Ram.
sa in a delightful book called 4 Mil-
lion and One Nights, reprints at length
n article by Herbert 5. Stone, excoriat-
ing what was probably the movies’ first
kiss. The year was 1806. "In a recent
play called The Widow Jones" wrote
Mr. Stone, "you may remember a famous
kiss which Miss May Irwin bestowed on
a certain John C. Rice, and vice versa.
Neither participant is physically atac
tive, and the spectacle of their pro-
longed pasturing on cach other's lips was
hard w bear. When only life size it was
pronounced beastly. But that was noth.
ing to the present sight. Magnified to
Gargantuan proportions and repeated
three times over it is absolutcly dis
gusting. All delicacy or remnant of charm
scems gone from Miss Irwin, and the
performance comes near being indecent
in its emphasized vulgarity. Such things
call for police interference.” And he
went on to observe that “The Irwin kiss
is no more than a lyric of the Stock
Yards."

Interes

gly enough, it v
the sre of the kiss that Stone objected
10, not its i or its duration, The
enforced. proximity of the motion-pic-
ture screen and its extreme. magnifica
tion of the Rice-Irwin intimacies were
acwely distressing to those. proper Vie
torians who had been schooled to avert
their eyes, if not their the
matters pleasant and unseemly. But in
the darkened movie theater, with all
light concentrated upon the silvered
sheet, the shadowy images attract and
hold the gaze like magnets. One may
react to them with pleasure or indigna
tion, but one cannot avoid them. "This
heightened. larger-than-life reality made
even the most innocent of. pictures sus-
pect. For an age of prudery, they were
just too real

The conditions of

as mainly

their exhibition

were no less contiibutive. Born as peep
shows, movies were first projected. in
vaudeville houses and wax muscums, in
amusement parks and itinerant [ai
And, despite such uplifting efforts
scenes from the Obe
y, or Joseph Jellersan’s Rip van Win-
kle, most of the short pictures turned
out prior to 1900 were frankly designed
to captivate the fairground menta.
Apart from the incessant parades,
the express wains that set the crowds
by pounding down the track
rd the camera, apart from
suollers photographed. on
ith. Avenues of the world, and scc
ws of beaches and waterfalls, the
kers put on celluloid the
ht the rubes
rs and music halls in the first
nic Oakley shot at clay pigeons
the benefit of the Edison
ere were Chinese acro
man musclemen to exhibit their prowess.
There were innumerable “re-enact-
ments” of famous prize fights. And there
was Fatima, hit of the 1893 Chicago Co-

place. A
for

lumbian Exposition, doing her noto-
rious danse du venire.

was an amply proportioned
ticular allure beyond
dancers

Fatima
woman with no p:
the ability, shared
everywhere, to undu!
of her anatomy at will and with consid
erable abandon. Apart from her bare
midriff, across which dang'ed several
chains of coins, she was fully, even self.
consciously, attired. (This setf-conscious-
iterated in the fixed smile she
wore throughout her brief performance.)
But if Fatima was permitted. to display
her talents in extenso on the Columbian
Exposition Midw so on the
screens of the nation ascent cinema. A
generous and instead
of barring the film outright, created

stencil that resembles New England
fences, and placed tegi
over the ollending portions of F:
anatomy in every frame of the ne:
Movie censorship was under wi
ve years,

by belly

se!

ay, not

(genious censor,

these str

During the movies’
censorship had much to batten on. From
the peep shows that immediately preced-
ed. sercen-projected films came such in-
nocently wicked titles as How Bridget
Served the Salad Undressed, or What the
Bootblack Saw. (What he saw, of course.
was nothing more than a lady's well-shod
ankle. The sight so unnerved him, how-
ever, that he mindlessly smeared boot
polish all over the trousers of the gentle-
man he was working on.) As the novelty
of motion pictures took hold, such sub-
jects were exuricated. from the nickelo-
deon boxes and transferred 10 the big
screen, there to be joined by hundreds
of other little pictures, produced. spe-
cifically for projection, that were no less
provocatively titled. and titillating. Par-
ticularly favored were films showi

PLAYBOY

“I wonder, Miss Potter. if you'd be interested in how you might
be able to get away with atrocious typing such as this?”

women in various stages of undress: Zn
the Dressing Room, In Her Boudoir, In
My Lady's Boudoir, In a Massage Parlor,
The Bridal Chamber. At no time did the
g go beyond the chemise: but to
an age in which a glimpse of stocking
was shocking, a lady in her unmentiona-
bles was deemed downright indecent.

Wh around 1903, pictures began to
disappear from the vaudeville theaters
and move into auditoriums of their own,
they immediately became far more vul-
nerable to censor repression. Vaudeville
at least enjoyed the sanction, if not pre-
cisely the blessing, of the middle class.
Tony Pastor had by then reformed the
medium into a family entertainment: he
had made it respectable.
y was precisely what the new
shows and nickelodeons lacked. As these
“electric theaters,” replete with gaudy
posters hawking the
fanned out into the poorer neighbor-
hoods of the nation, they promptly
acquired the status of the corner saloon,
They were called “a cheap show for
cheap people." Actually, movies and
saloons were quite properly equated at
that time: Both were primarily working-
class enterGunments; and movies, like
beer, cost only a nickel. Proponents of
the new medium argued that, at the very
least, movies were beuer than liquor for
the workingman. The reformers, of
course, denied this.

What gave their denials point was the
fact that, sensing the caliber of their a
diences, the pioneer produc
pouring forth a flood of onecelers
culated to appeal to the most primitive
tastes and emotions. Apart from innu-
mcrable liule cinematic parables illus-
trating the evils of drink, all very moral
and reformist, the bulk of their output
unabashedly relied on the age-old ap-
peal of crime and sex. As early as The
Great Tram Robbery (1903), which in-
augurated the nickelodeon era virtually
singlehanded, these producers learned
that crime did pay, and handsomely.
Movie programs, consequendy, were
studded with subjects that recounted the
exploits of criminals, both real and im-
ned. When these could be combined.
with sex—as in Biograph's re-enactment
of the Stanford White-Harry K. Thaw
shooting of June 25, 1906, staged only a
few hours after the actual shooting had
taken place—the result was invariably a
box-office bonanza. And then as now,
the producers looked to the box office to
keep their signals straight—and the tu
stiles twirling.

Actually, toward the end of the first
decade of the century, the pioneers had
an added incentive to inject sex into
their pictures. The little nickelodeons
d become so enormously successful
that dozens of small firms, often operat-
ing with “bootleg” equipment brought

wares within,

s were

from abroad, wied to force their
into the profitable and prolifera
field, To protect themselves, the firms
that held basic patents on cither came
or projection equipment—Edison, Bio-
graph, Vitagraph, Lubin, Selig,
Pathé, Kalem and Méliés, plus the im-
porter and distributor, Geor
—formed the Motion Picture Patents
Company in December 1908. By all the
standards of that first Roosevelt era, the
company was a full-fledged “trust,” or-

way

ganized as a monopoly for the specific

purpose of restraint of wade. The Pat-
ems Company licensed the equipment,
while its creature, the General Film
Company, was set up to handle the pic-
tures. Theater owners paid a weekly
uibute of two dollars to the Patents
Company merely for the privilege of
running movies— plus, of course, paying
the rental cost of the films. The view
from the top. from the Motion Picture
Patents Company's headquarters in New
York's Flatiron Building, seemed per-
fect. Iis members apparently controlled
every phase of production and cxhibi-
tion. Nothing, however, was further
from thc truth.

The independents, far from being
ousted from the field, became more ac-
€ than ever. And because, unlike their
better-heeled brethren, for them every
picture involved not only a. financial,
but even a considerable physical risk
(the trust enforced its legal position with
extralegal goon squads that were frecly
deployed to smash both bootleg cameras
and their operators). these firms were
particularly anxious to give the public
what it wanted. Titles such as Right of
the Seigneur, Wages of Sin, An Old Man's
Darling and Beware, My Husband
Comes began to decorate nickelodeon
If the titles were often a good
racier than the pictures themselves,
nevertheless they set a tone that was
soon to make the movies an casy mark
for police and reformist actio

In addition, although actua
was rare
time, it was f.

nudity
the American films of the
r from absent from Ama

taculars"—most of them imported by the

ame George Kleine who played such an
important role in the creation. of the
trust—used the pretext of historica

films then
1 table; the style of (and. often
with the ladies of) the Folics-Bergs
These, of course, were run check by jowl
with the American product. There were
no subtitles or transparent “d
able the uninitiated to differentiate
them from the home-grown commodity.
And the reformers saw mo reason to
quibble over country of origin. By 1907,

in consequence, they were off in full cry
against all movics.

In Europe, far from the inhibiting
influences of the puritanical tradition,
the carly film makers lost no time in
spicing cinema with sin. France’
"ollicial art" at the turn of the centu
for example, was rampant with majestic,
superbly fleshed nudes. Its popular mu-
sic halls still featured the naughty can-
can. Its theater and literature celebrated
la vie bohémienne. And there werc, even
then, French postcards. The first French
films derived a little from all of these,
although it was several years before the
producers were willing to venture so far
as total nudity. The well-padded, popu-
lar musichall artiste. Louise Milly.
whose charms had already decorated
many postcards, appeared in several
striptease films before 1900, disrobing
either for the bath or for bed, but always
stopping discreetly short of the ultimate
disclosure. (In one of them, she clutched
her dressing gown in her teeth while
ggling into her nightie. The conse
quent acrobatics were sufficiently
uiguing to make this one of the most
popular subjects of its day. In Paris, it
played over 300 times in three different
halls.)

Similarly, in a bonne bouche called
The Flea, Angèle Hérard, a star of the
Casino de Paris, hunted that offending
insect here and there amid the di-
phanous folds of her gown, vouchsafing
premeditated peeps at her shapely anat-
omy in the process, but never all of it at
once. The early catalogs of the French
companies listed literally hundreds of
titles that implied some form of disrob-
ing—Le Déshabille du Modéle, Couché
d'Yvette et Pierreuse, Le Coucher de la
Mariée (repeated several times with
different actresses), Les Soubrettes In-
discrètes, Déshabilles Féminins, and
many morc. The new century had h;
ly started, however, before these titbits
were supplemented by utterly uninhibit-
ed strip films that followed the same for-
mula, but a
titles promised
ps the salon pa
vogue gave sanction to the switch. Cer-
inly the French Academy saw nothing
wrong in nudity; and painters such
Bouguercau, Bonnat, Rochegrosse and
Garnier alternated betwcen gigantic
vases crowded with cla: nudes, and
more intimate, artfully detailed scenes of
domestic life illustrating love's awaken-
ing, assignati nfidelity unveiled, and
the heartbreak of disillusion. Often ab-
surdly sentimental, they nevertheless
reflected the fashionable morality of
their day. And since they represented, in
the fullest sense, "official ar the
French film makers could see no reason
not to bring these highly representation-

(continued on page 136)

133

SEND ME NO TEEVEE JEEBIES

salire By SHEL SILVERSTEIN

“You know, baby, you look sort of cute “Well, the real-estate agent did tell
with that cork stuck in your eye!" us it had outside plumbing . . . !"

“Uh—gee—I brought my pocket dictionary “Sure cverybody cuts them,
by mistake . . . ! but not everybody saves them!"

“Now, understand ... I'm just sayin’ you can help me "Now J know who he looks like! He looks like that
build her... I'm not sayin’ you can see framed ape we saw at the circus last year, and

her afterward . you kept saying how he looked almost human, and

m how cute he was, and we got separated in the crowd,

and I couldn't find you for nearly an hour . . . 1"

tongue-in-cheek dialog for televiston’s late-night movies

“Shave first!” "There's something 1 have to tell you,
Herbie... £m not Jewish.”

“So much, sir, for your detailed description of the “Im not quite sure, but we're either on the warpath
mating habits of the aborigine of Pago Pago... 1” or we're going to have one helluva rainstorm!”

"And you'll notice, Miss Wilcox, that I managed. it "Awright, Louie, we know you're under there!”
without getting a single wrinkle in my suit .

135

PLAYBOY

al pictures to glowing life. Their very
subject matter seemed to invite it.

nier's well-known Flagrant Delit d'Adul-
tère, for example, depicts a lover held by
the police while the husband rushes at

him in a fury, while the unfaithful wife,
nude, cowers in her boudoir. It took
little imagination to transform this
situation into a movie scene: the wife
and her lover locked in amorous em-
brace, the entry of the outraged hus-
band accompanied by the gendarmes,
and Garniers own melodramatic de-

ent. The film included. one little
ally befits the Gallic
When the hus-

nou
clement that poe
temperament, howeve
band bursts in with his entourage, the
lover, infuriated at this public humilia-
tion of his inamorata, makes a lunge at
him that is intercepted by the police.
Whatever sympathies the sc
are all for the lover and hi

icd to inspire an en-

of French film making

tire
throughout the first decade of the 20th

genre

Century—Olympia
Bath of Venus (alu
Awakening of Chrysis, h, accord-
ing to the plot synopsis, “a Negress at-
tends her respectfully as languorously
she raises from the couch her slumbrous
body." But even more of the French
pira-

er Manci), The
Bouicelli) and
wh

films from this era owed their i
tion to the tableaux vivants then so pop-

ular in the casinos and music halls. Such
scenes, with the artistes either in llesh-
colored tights or no tights at all, could
readily be incorporated into the primi-
tive storytelling films that had begun to
make their appearance. Particularly fa-
vored in the carly 1900s were lively fan-
tasies in which the camera conjured up
visions of Arabian Nights palaces com-
plete with seraglios and harem dances;
voyages 10 impossible places, always with
the same voluptuous houris standing
about in awkward attendance on the lo-
cab potentate; and films of magic in
which the shapely victims were t
formed into flowers, flora or furniture,
or perhaps, with a wave of the magi
r's wand, given a wholly new dress—
or in an instant, stripped to the buff.
The pioneers Georges Méliès and
nand Zecca were particularly adept at
this last form of cinematic divertisement.

As the story film progressed, its plots
became more comple
also typically French-
se of 1906, The Age for Love.
to the catalog:
of ignorance, or fear, or obedience, or
indillerence, as young girls do. He was
an elderly general, gallant and covered.
with medals, decorations and glory . . ~
she was everything in the world to him,
the one great love in the life of a man
already growing old. Her days were

Accord-
"She had married out

136. long, meaningless and gay, filled up with

BEX in CINEMA (continued from page 133)

a round of engagements and visits where
everyone ate and drank and laughed
without knowing why. She had no child.
She lived without cares, without hope,
without anchorage. A young acquaint-
ance of her husband's who came often to

the house brought new interest into her
life. She felt happy, suffused with a
quick and radiant joy under the

influence of a dawning sympathy for
him. They went for walks together, talk-
ing as they strolled slowly side by side.
She drank in his every word. gazing en-
tranced as he spoke of things often dis-
turbing to hear but delicious to listen to.
He became her lover . .. How should it
otherwise when two human
wn together by a mutual
love? The husband, warned by an an
ymous lete
ing lodge. Yer
arises and, maybe, a. realization
helplessness of two such young a
dent lovers, and he turns a
the weapon with which he had thought
to reap revenge . , . 250 feet, price 170
francs." A far cry from the Flagrant Dë-
lit d’'Adultére, and yet obviously a close
relation.

For a brief period, from 1904 to 1906,
several of the French studios produced,
for general distribution, films of a frank-
ly pornographic nature. Grouped in the
catalogs under the heading Les Sujets
Grivois ct d'une Caractère Piquant
(Naughty Subjects of a Piquant Na-
ture"), they opened on the bath and
bedroom scenes, then moved swiftly on
to an unhurried view of highly sugges-
tive erotica. Girls in their tubs boldly
displayed and fondled thcir charms,
swam nude in garishly decorated tanks,
or writhed sensuously in their beds in
i n of a visit from the Che-
acter who
a series of “piqu:
(Many of
distribution

surprises them in a hunt-
his troubled soul, pity
of the

ng up i
put out by Path
these titles are still in
thanks to the rly “
rates" who duped prints and sold them
all over the world.) Police action in 1905
curtailed production; but the major fac-
tor in driving such films underground

was a new urge for respectability on the
part of their two largest producer
Pathé and Gaumont. In the face of

mounting protests from press and clergy,
they prudently dropped the entire cate-
gory from their catalogs in 1907.
Strange as it may seem today, French
films dominated the screens of the world
in the fist decade of the 1900s. Pathé
lone produced more pictures cach year
than all the American firms comt
xd they were shown everywher
ing imitation. In Germany, which had
little in the way of native production
until shortly before Workl War I, the
leading imitator was Oskar Mester, who

long career in 1902 wi
lome so erotic that it was banne
everywhere but Germany. For the most
part, however, Messter lingered in the
bathrooms and bedrooms of his French
contemporaries, his principal contribu-
tion being the addition of one or more
onscreen spectators at contretemps that
unpleasantly underlined the voyeuristic
nature of his entertainments. For out
right pornography, there was Venus
lm i in Berlin, as well as several small
but their output
intended less for theatrical exhibi-
tion than for private soirees in places as
an and South Amer-
"pi-
in distribution in
Germany to encourage the government,
in May of 1908, to inaugurate its first
censorship measures—measures which, as
one might expect, did little to halt the
flow

The Italians, who began film produc-
a 1005, prompily hit upon what
still remains their favorite genre: the

atic crowds, its vast disasters (natural or
ide), its dashing heroes and its
ever-imperiled heroines. Under the guise
of history, all manner of aj
permitted—orgies, rapes, refinements of

torture—which would have been
frowned upon in more contemporary
surroundings. Films such as The Last

Days of Pompeii, The Divine Comedy
(which dwelt most graphically upon the
tortures of the damned in hell), Lucrezia
Borgia, and a mounting tide of othe
revealed what the Frend
Kyrou aptly identified as “the princi
characteristics of the Italian cinema: las-

civity, sumptuousness, a hysterical ro-
manticism and exaggerated passions.

The sumptuousness, at least in the
films, was largely a matter of gilt p:

nd potted palms; while the passions, en
ted pantingly by corpulent p
often produced a pachydermal romanti-
cism that was hysterical
ticipated by the produc
prurience was there, and a curious g
deur as well—particularly whe
trasted with the films of other nations
at the time. Until eclipsed by World
War I, the I was prized
world over for its lavish
2e. wing to life the more lurid
and hence defenseless)

in ways un:
s. But

the

con-

a in its swaddli
clothes. Such were films seen

only by Americans in their nickelodcons,
but by the French in their fétes foraine
the Germans in their Ladenkinos. The
exchange of films was international.
‘They knew no boundaries, ignored all
borders. And their appeal, universally,
was to the lowest common denominator
—to which their makers and viewers in-
stinctively gravitated. The workingman,

not

the illiterate, the immigrant—these were
the film’s first audiences; movies were the
poor man’s legitimate theater—for the
most part, very poor indeed. As such,

they had to be protected—and
cle-

policed—by the selfstyled "bett
iety. In this country, Ch
distinction of hav

go ci cl
Enacted the first censorship ord
In 1907, because an automobile was sto-
len shortly after the appearance of a film
tiled The Great Automobile Robbery,
the police were put in charge of preview-
ing pictures—a responsibility which was

immediately understood by them to en-
compass the defense not only of public
property, but of public morals as well.

New York followed suit a year later
when Mayor George B. McClellan held

a hearing ostensibly to dete

should be permitted to op-
i fective

ely, all theaters in the Greater
New York area were to be closed by the
police until further notice. The hue and
ay immediate. Outraged producers
and exhibitors called a special meeting
10 fight the ban, while a sel
watchdog committee, purportedly in the
public's behalf, sprang into existence un-
der the
group of zealous liberal reformers
ganized as th ational Board of Ci
sorship of Motion Pictures, it continues
on to th the National

Board of Review With rcassurances
from both sides, McClellan permitted
the theaters to reopen, but only on the
show only those pic
tures approved by the new Bi
The die was cast. The censors had
achieved both official sanction and the
promise of cooperation fom the indus-
try as well. And with this acceptance be
gan a struggle that still shapes and colors

the production and exhibition of movies
1 continu cold on

in Ameri
official morality fought on one flank by
that sizable army of cinematic wheeler
dealers who view the violation of estab-
lished moral codes less as a crusade for
freedom of expression than as a sure-fire
shortcut 10 a List buck, and on the
by those anti-Establishment:
— may their tribes incre.
ccrely strive to dramatize on film the
own private visions of man, and of his
good or evil.

egis of the People's Institute. a
Or-

day

This is the first oj a scrics of articles
on "The History of Sex in Cinema”
which will be appearing in pLaynoy in
the coming months. In the next install-
ment, authors Knight and Alpert ex-
plore “The Rising Tide of Censorship"
which engulfed the movies in a moral-
istic and legalistic quagmire during the
reactionary decade that ended in 1919.

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PLAYBOY

140

DOUBLE TAKE

when this bus Tast rolled
and we all smiled with pleasure
1 the inside lighis and
round: at the wood

Fifth,
Then

Oscar snapped o
we all looked

15, at one another in this strange envi
ronment, at the old advertisements
above the windows. One was for
Naptha, but it was for yellow b.

ules in a packa

ing of a handsome young
a high stiff.

soap, not gr

showes
di
Arrow collar.

Oscar shifted, let out the clutch and
turned south onto Fifth Avenue, and
there was not a soul in sight as far as we
could see in cither direction, and I felt a
stab of disappointment. We wanted to
startle a few people; we were out to play
a joke, It wasn't a practical joke; to my
mind that phrase means cruelty, à. joke
that is no joke but an embarrassment,

nmoyance, shock, or even injury to
someone. We intended the opposite; 1
was entirely cc n th 10 anyone
seeing the incredible vision of this light-
cd old bus, our costumed selves inside it,
wheeling slowly along Fifth Avenue in
the middle of the night, it would be an
astonishing sight and pleasure never
forgotten.

We were disappointed as kids, and I'm
sure that’s why Oscar drove farther than
he meant to: someone just had t0 sce us.
He drove through one block, then an-
other and into a third, along the desert-
ed lateat-night street, and we didn’t see
a person or a car, Then a woman walked
out of a doorway with an Airedale on a
leash. The dog stopped, the woman
stood waiting, and as we rolled past she
glanced up at us. There was no change
of expression on her face, she showed
absolutely no interest, and as her dog
moved on, so did she without a back-
ward glance. "She's from out of town
Joe said. “She thinks its a regular bus.

Alice said, “Did you see her dress and
hat? Hell, half the women in the coun-
uy are wearing cloche hats and short
dresses these days;
her, we're the latest style!

Oscar was pulling to the curb; 50 feet
ahead under a street light, two men
frowning in conversation stood waiting
for a bus, and he was going to oblige
He yelled, “On your feet, conductor!
d as I got up quickly and walked 10
the rear of the bus, Oscar slowed. and
stopped

The two men stepped up onto the

aplechinned n

back platform without a break in the
sound of the older man’s voice, a gray-
haired m of 60 in a wide-brimmed

ma hat and a snow-white suit. The
younger man, who wore a gray business
suit, stood listening, his eyes never |
ing the € e. The
white brought change from hi
and held out his h:
lifted

yin
pocket,
nd, still talking. I
ny fare collector, a little. nickel

(continued from page 111)

plated contrivance with a slot in the top.
nd he turned just long enough to push
two dimes, one after the other, into th
slot, and chime sounded cach time.
Then

I reached overhead, tugged at a
rope, a bell tinkled over Oscar's head
and he pulled out from the curb. Our
two passengers stood where they were,
on the back platform, and the older
man’s voice- urging, selling, persistent —
never stopped once, and now l wi

what he was si
I don't r

aware ol

lly know anything about
stocks or the stock market, but Eve taken
a small flyer now and then. Sometimes

Tve made a little, more often I lose, but
Tm always hoping for hot tips, Now I
seemed t0 be hearing some, and T stood
making an effort to remember them.
"Buy any of them, Georgie," the older
man was saying for at least the second
time. “It doesn't matter which, I guar
tee you can sell out at a profit in a
month. You wont want to, though.
Yowll thank. me, and ask to buy more.
But right now, start small and convince
yourself. Buy a hundred RCA at around
forty-four for a starter. A little New York
Central at one-thirty, and some General
Motors at a hundred and forty-one.” Lis-
tening to this money talk, watching
those two anxious profiles, 1 knew they
could have stepped onto a red-white-
xi-blue bus manned by a crew in clown
suits without noticing it, and 1 glanced
the others, all looking back here anx-
pus to be noticed, and shrugged.

At the beginning of the next block
Oscar pulled to the curb again, and a
boy and girl got on. Neither was more
nd they climbed the narrow
s to the nest deck holding hands—no
asy wick. I followed, my fare collector
ready, and on the top deck they sat wa
up front in the first seat. The girl's head
found the boy's shoulder, his arm went
ound her, and T dropped the fare col-
lector in my pocket. I didn't bother won-
dering why they'd showed no surprise
about the bus they'd boarded; they were
aware of only themselves, and T stood
there envying them. Tt was wonderful up
here under the summer stars, the air
Iny, and I wished Jessie and 1 were
up here as they were. A buzzer sounded,
the bus swung to the curb, and I looked
downstairs to see the two men, the older
one still talking, step off and walk away

nto the night, and 1 went downstai
again to sit next to Jessie.

Half a dozen yards from the Washing-
Square arch, Oscar slowed a
stopped at the curb. He'd lived in New
York once,
where th
few
circle to I

than 19,
SU

ton

nd he remembered; this was
e old buses always we

minutes before sw:

d north

big surprise to the natives, aren't w
lly; he and the
ting together now, up near the

Joe sid sarcastic

front of the bus.

She said initably, “What's the matter
with people, anyhow
“Well, what did yo
Weeks said, across the a
this is New York. I once saw twenty five
clephanis walking west on Fifty-seventh
Sucet at three o'clock in the morn
bsolutcly silent, walking wank to t
on their way to Madison Square Garden
where the circus begin next day. And a
guy on a street corner never stopped
reading his paper. You can’t surprise
them; they dont believe what they sce.
They think we're advertising somethin:

“Or making a movie," Jessie
smilin

We sat waiting, not quite knowing
why. Then, just as Oscar shifted
and began pulling away, a man i
light summer suit came walking out
from under the arch, saw the bus, r
for it, and I stood and walked up front;
the conductor shouldn't be seen si
ting next to a passenger. He hopped
on, walked down the aisle, saw Jessie,
and 1 was instantly sorry Id stood.
Because he was a very handsome gi
can-faced, blue-eyed, wavy black hair-
d he stopped motionless, staring down
at Jess. Then, slowly, not taking his eyes
from that wonderful face, he sat down
beside her, and something I've never bi
fore actually seen. happened. under my
eyes. Jessie saw it, too; she turned and

expect?

siw a man falling in love with her.
We've all heard love at first sight dis-
cussed; usually it's a debate abe

whether it’s possible. But I think it hap-
pens all the time. A man and wom:
meet, and something often happens
right then and there, lor one or both of
them. Bur usually weeks or months

to pass before they admit what it is
Meanwhile, that instantaneous. burst of
feeling is called most anything else. But

the truth remains that people often fall
in love in a single look: the only thing
rare about it is people who recognize

Jessie did. She saw it in his f

ice, bu

whether he knew it himself I don't
know. I walked down the aisle and stood
listening: 1 couldn't help it His voice
t only for Jessie, but T
bsolute simplicity he said,

don't know what to do. FIl nev-
in see a girl like you as long as I
1 don't know what to say, but I
can't just sit here and let you go. I've
got to know your name and see you

in, I've got to. You must know that?”
was no mistaking the quiet
h in his voice, and 1 hated

10 look Jessie full in the face for fear of
what Id see there, too. But I did, and I
saw that she was pleased—not because he

aw hand-
-but E

handsome, I thought; she
some men every day of her life
cause a response like his couldn't help

but affect her or any other woman, I
suppose. But she hadn't fallen in love
with him; J sn't falling in love

with anyone just now. She smiled—
pleasantly, sweetly; Jessie's a nice girl —
and actually reached out and patted his
hand. “No,” she said kindly. “I don't live
here: FI be gone in a day or so.

"But where—"

No," she repeated, st
with an edge of finality,
away from him,

He sit string at her; his mouth
opened to speak once or twice; then he
suddenly swung away, standing up, and
walked fast down the aisle to the back of
the bus, and hopped off. I was staring.
alter him, so was Jess, so were the oth-
ersi they hadn't heard what had been
said, they were too far front, but they
bpened. Out on
ng behind us, he stood
on the asphalt. paving of Fifth Avenue
in the summer night staring after us
Then he turned. abruptly to the curb,
stepped up, and was gone.

We drove straight back to the garage;
the young couple on the top deck was
gone when I checked. Iu the garage we
covered the old bus with the trp, then
walked back to the house and changed
10 our own clothes. Nobody had much to
say; our little joke hadn't really worked
I was going to olfer to take Jessie to
her hotel, but when I came out of the
dressing room she was gone.

Work started at eight sharp the next

ely but
md turned

knew somet
the street, dwind

morning, and Jessica's big scene was the
first thing Ernie Wyke had scheduled,
Until noon we had the two blocks we'd
asked for on lower Filth Avenue;
caded at both ends and at the sidestreet
entrances, a cop at each barrier detour-
ing traf and keeping spectators at ba
We had the two blocks again in the aft-
ernoon from two until four, then we had
to be finished and off the street for good.
Out of camera v:
truck, a sound truc
dolly, a motorized sound-boom dolly, :
sprouting of reflectors on stands a

other odds and ends of equipment, and

a scattering of people of the unit stand-
ng around or sitting on the curb. Out
in the street stood three period cars. Al
Berg had located here and rented, and
our bus. All four motors were running.
costumed drivers at the wheels, and in-
side the bus sat half a dozen men and
women in Twenties costume, including
Jessie in the lightblue outfit she'd worn
the previous night.

Before he began filming, Ernie sent
them through the scene. On a street cor-
ner just beyond the waiting cus and

bus, an actor stood waiting for his cue;
he was a friend of Ernie's, a middle-aged

New York actor who was in a play here,
and who had occasionally played small
picture roles. This was the man, in the
story, whom Jessie was in love with; a
man very nearly three times her age. In

the story he was important and frequent-
ly referred to, but he actually appeared
only direc times, each brielly, and it was
really a small part. There'd been no
need to bring anyone from Hollywood
for it; any competent actor of his type
and age could handle it, and E was
seeing him now, waiting there on the
corner, for the first time. My only ci
cism of him was that he looked like an
actor: the plentiful crisp gray hair, at
least. part of which was probably an ex-
pensive hairpiece; the good but blurred
profile; the not-too-portly figure, because
he'd had to keep in reasonable sh
get work; the magnificent ulori
didn't look quite real
ic said to him,

let's go through it,”
slowly pacing his s

All right, Fi
ank beg
Jancing
nd

Frank one at a
him and di
the street
F

ment

fter the third car passed, the bus
came along, drawing toward the curb,
and it stopped at the street corner cut
ting Frank from view. Just behind the
bus, and just out of the scene, the motor-
ized camera dolly and sound-boom dolly
had followed along. On the other side of
the bus, just out of the previous shot, a
other camera was centered on Frank and

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the rear exit of the bus, and T knew
Frank was standing th gentle smile
on his face, offering a hand to Jessie as
she stepped off the bus.

1 walked around the iwo dollies to
watch the rest of the scene, Frank was
speaking a phrase of greeting,
smiling tremulously in response, and the
Dus was moving on up Filth, still in the
scene as Frank took Jessie's arm and
they began to walk ahead. Now the wo
dollies in the street began 10 follow.
keeping abreast, the microphone on its
boom suspended over their heads just
out of camera ringe—and the cars and
Dus, out of the sceue now, U-turned ee
came back: the sounds of their motors
they passed would be picked up as
propriate street. noise. A

I wont repeat the dialog as they
walked along those two. blocks of Fifth
nue, bur the. point of it was that
ik told Jessie he was not going to sce
her again, that he was too old for her. It
went on longer than that, but that was
the gist of his speech: He loved her and
would never stop. but he was plainly to
old [or a young girl, it had to be ree
nized and he w ing so, even if she
refused to face it.

Jessie. argued w

Jessic

h him. pleaded, and

finally begged. But he could not be
changed, and presently he left her, walk-
ing toward the side street just ahead,
then turning the corner out of the
scene. As he disappeared—and this was
the bi t of the scene, this was the
scene, the climax—the cimera turned
full on. Jessie's face, and her face had to

show what she felt. This was tragedy, a

truth to be accepted, as she knew, but

the most sorrowlul moment of her life.
Jess had to show that. During the rest of
ev Face filling the screen, she
Ito make the audience know it was
truc: that this young and beautiful girl
genuinely loved this man so much that
his leaving her life broke her heart.
And she showed nothing of the sort.

the scene,
h;

With Ernie. P stood beside the cime
watching her—and her hands rose as
though 10 reach after him, her mouth

opened as though to call, then her fice
assumed an expresion of so And
you didn't believe it, because neither did
she. She couldn't show what she'd. never
felt herself.

ow.

Ernie said,
it Lers try aga
and the corne

inc, Jess, you're geuing
n." Frank came back
ad Ernie took J
sics arm and began to talk as we all

walked back toward the ng of
the scene, wyin y to make
her feel it.

Ti was the worst morning E ever went

if P could have, F'd have just
and kept on walking for
long time. Fd hoped Ernie would find
the key for Jess, though I didn't think
he would, and he couldwt. After a while
he began filming: he had to get the
scene in the can. If anything, Jessie got

wor

tying the scene in a variety of
ways, as an actor who isn't getting it will
sometimes do, hoping to somehow get it
on film by accident

At I o'dock

e toll her that any
o[ several versions filmed w
great, and it was time to go ahead with
the rest of the schedule. Then he wi
on i0 clean up several short takes, in-
duding the one of Jessie leaving her
house, coming down the front steps pull-
ing on her gloves. We picked up on

we'd

those again at 2 o'clock, and were
finished by 3:13. Ernie looked at his
watch. “AIL right,” he called, keeping his

voice calm long as we have time,
lers try the big scene once more, We'll
take it from Jessie stepping oll the bus."

Frank and Jessie walked to their street
corner, the bus moving imo position,
aud Ernie and 1 went along. This take.
somehow, had to be at least acceptable:
the others flatly would not do, and Ernie
knew that. But he spoke quietly. He
said, "Jess, Frank's an old-timer, he
might have a thought lor vou while
they're setting up." Then he left to give
Frank a chance to say anything he could
think of that might help. It was all E
nic had left to try: he'd said all he knew
how to say, and by the time we shot this
one last take, we'd have to pack up and
clear the street

( Frank, “Well” she
knew as well as the

rest of us how badly she was doing

Frank wanted do help, but didn't
know how, cither. He quirked his mouth,
wnoyed at the situation, and said, “I

don't know what to and for

son 1 couldi’t pin dow

re
the words were

familiar, and I saw [essic^s eyes wide
though she recognized them, too. For a

ent she stared at Frank's face, then
rrowed, studying it feature by
de her

mo!
her eyes
feature, and [ stepped over be

she

ad saw what
I have no explanation for this:
ply don't know how or why it happened
AILT can say is that in a single instant of
t 1 suddenly knew why
stood wi

saw
L sim

nderstandi
n had

wor h her dog at the
curb the night before watching without
interest as our bus drove past her. 1 knew

ged knee length dr
helmet; and 1 under

why she wore a fr
and a felt hat like
stood why a young couple in their teens

climbed to the upper outside deck of a
Fifth Avenue bus as though they'd donc
it many times before. And that evening,
in the New York Public Libray. 1
proved by the faking brown-edged back
files of the Times what I already knew,
Listed in the market quota vere the
stocks the man in white ioned
nd the prices he'd quoted were correct
vot for today, but for June 15, (926. In
some way beyond explaining or under
standing, the conditions for this were

bus with the 15
as we were then, that is the ime—that is

the lost Ju ight and Fifth Avenuc—
that Oscar somehow drove into. And it
k just outside Washing
Square, who had stepped onto that bus
and sat down next to Jes
I knew it now, and so did [css
stared at Frank's facc—slashed with lines
now, no longer lean and tight to the
bones, and 38 years older—but the same
face past all doubt. She suid. “Frank?
you ever get on a bus like this"—she
pointed to it at the curb beside them—
night in 1926? And see a girl
like me, dressed as I am now? And you
sat down beside her, and fell in love at
that moment”
He smiled, and with an old-stvle ac
tor’s gallantry, said, "No, because il I
had, how could I ever forget. it?” and
there was no memory at all in his eyes
"nie called out, Jessie stepped ont
the bus platform, the cameras turned,

she

and they moved through the scene once
again, At the street corner, just as he
had in so many other takes, Frank
turned to leave, saying. “I'm going. |

won't come back. But TH never forget
you. Remember that: TIL never forge
And as Jess stared after him, her hands
rose like ckiws toward her open mouth,
and that beautiful face suddenly distort
into mace of terrible forsaken
ad genuine tears streaked
down through her make-up in a look
that—veal as her feelings were, Jessie’
an actress and never forgets the came
may damn well bring her next y
car as best supporting actress.
It raised the hair on mw neck, that
g look after Frank, and for a moment
1 thought it was grief for the vanished
young Frank who had fallen. in
love with her. But it wasn't for him at
I, and it wasn't grief. I think it
shock, 1 think it was fright. She was
crying for herself. because suddenly she
understood that love will not wait. Tt
cannot be postponed; it dies instead, She
suddenly knew that she couldn't contin
ue to deny
love off till her c:

ed
loneliness,

once

was

id deny herseli—fending

reer was established
and then hope to find it and her capac
ty for it still patiently g Jessie
had had a glimpse of the future, he
own future in which she stood for
whoever he might still be—
given the

wait

by the man-

who could love her forev
chance.
She knew it then, standing before the
g camera, shocked at her ow
loneliness, And she knew it, ihe filmin
over, in the lounge of the Plaza having
a drink with me. Because she said, “Are
vou going back by train, Jake?

I said, “I don't know; why

Because if you are, I'd like to go with
you.” And I knew that on the long lei
surdy trip back, whatever might have
happened between us before and hadn't
been allowed to, ing to have its

143

PLAYBOY

144

PLAYEOY FORUM

FREE LOVE
In reply 10 a recent Forum letter by
reader Bob Barrett, pLaywoy stated that
"we do not favor Iree love or any blind
or irrational pursuit of pleasure—we
have never suggested a pattern of behav-
ior based on the premise: Live for the
moment and let tomorrow take care of
itself.” You also said, “we do not advo-
cate sex as simply a sport and we do not
believe that any human conduct should
be removed from its consequences,"
Now. either the author of the Philoso-
phy does not speak for PLAYBoy the mag-
azine, or he is a hypocrite or lacking in
perception, or both. Ti is readily appar-
ent that many of the articles, jokes and
cartoons at least condone, if not openly
foster, the idea of free love. PLAyRoy ex
the moment and Tet
ike care of itself” attitude.
construe my cri i
heartily enjoy the magazine and delight
the cartoons humor. Howeve
as Hefner agitates for enlighten-
it and for the abolition of puritani-
1 sex codes, so should he abolish the
inconsistency between. the Philosophy
nd the magazine. Let's call a spade a
spade, and free love free love!
Gary W. Mickles, U. S. N. R.
U.S.S. Pulaski County
F. P. O., New York, New York

udes the “live for

tomorrow
Please don't m

(continucd [rom page 48)

Free love suggests, to us at least, sex-
ual promiscuity devoid of any responsi-
bility; and as has been stated numerous
times in "Philosophy," "Forum" and
elsewhere in the magazine, we believe
that man should be responsible for his
actions—sexual and otherwise. The fact
that the lighter enterlainment portions
of the publication tend to spoof and.
poke fun at every aspect of our society's
sexual mores and behavior dows not
strike us as hypocritical oy inconsistent
with the above-stated belief.

VARIETY IN SEX

My wife and [have thought of writing
to praise The Playboy Philosophy many
times: at long are getting it done.

We have enjoyed the Philosaphy very
much and share Helm aded
ty in lov gof which
è such avid devotees that we w

rs broad-m;

views on v

we
everyone could be so enlightened about
the totally fulfilling pleasures possible
when unleashed passions are allowed
freedom of expression

Emily Dickinson once wrote, ^A wom-
an should be assured that there is noth-
ing in the fullest sweep of passion that is
not compatible with her highest ideals
of spiritual Iove, and that all mutual
timacy of behavior is right between hu
band and wife.”

"Well, we gambled and lost."

Havelock Ellis said years ago, “Taking
sexual relationships in the widest sense,
but still on the physical side, it is impor
tint always to bear in mind that “what
ever gives satisfaction and relief to both
parties is good and right and even in the

best sense normal, provided (as is not
likely to happen in sound and healthy
persons) no injury is effected.’ Fellatio

and cunnilingus (the impulse to cither
of which frequently arises spontancously
in men and women who never heard of
such practices) are perhaps the chief. of
these contacts."

Vo sex play is psychologically taboo,”
Hamilton stated, while making certai
reservations, of which the most impor-
tant are that no injury to physical struc
ture is involved and that there are no
serious guilt reactions.

It is our sincere hope that your Philos-
ophy will advance the sexual revolution
in America and we shout, "More power
10 you!"

nd Mollie Miller
Riverton, lowa

SEXUAL SPECTRUM

Having watched pravgoy's emergence
fro , mediocre rag to an im
portant magazine and one of the nation's
foremost advocates of sexual freedom,
lover and I wish to congratulate
Count us among the growing
p who encourage his efforts 10
a reasoned guide to rational

nd here it comes, 1 think that
ndency to mince words,

and I classify him as a conservative liber
tine—conclusions gleaned from answers
to letters printed in the write-in depart-
ments, and from the Philosophy proper.
1 herewith unevasively list some of
activities which 1 believe implic
endorsed in The Playboy Philosophy so
far delineated (activities, incidentally,
which my love 1
engage)
Sodomy, fellatio, ci
ad female homosexuality,
coitus (two persons),
(three or more, natur
and sadism (of the mi
type—added for variety), auto/group
ation, erotic zoophilia (otherwise
known as bestiality, using large dogs and
domestic monkeys, preferably of the
family Cercopithecidae), nonfixated pyg-
lios ge-
rontophilin, pornographic bibliophilia,
sundry other int n-
joyed inside or outside the context. of
legal marriage (adultery by mutual con-
sem) with another lover, or in small
meetings of single and. married. couples,

mple
multiple coitus

masturl

m sm. undii

m, voycurism,

esting pastimes

or in larger groups of orgy proportion
(enjoyed, 1 qualily, by sober, informed,

consenting adults who have proven their
legal age and good standing as respon-
sible citizens).

Need | say more? All

ht, 1 will:

Anyone engaged in the uninhibited pur-
it of enjoyment has no legitimate rea-
son for leaving to the imagination the
slightest wick in his (or her) explora
tion of the sexual spectrum.

Thana Courtney

Bozeman, Montana

With such an impressive sexual pro-

gram, we marvel at your having found
the time lo write.

SUPPLY AND DEMAND

Regarding the alleged. Am n sex-
ual revolution, onc crucial point in all
this seems to have been ignored: Ameri-
can women themselves.

After reading the transcript of the
WINS broadcast in your Christmas issue.
ptly struck by the immense
ony of a gathering of articulate males
the question of American,
nglo-American (Victoriandnspired) and
Western. European sexual attitudes.

What about women? Given the oppor-
tunity to air their views, what migi
they wish to offer on the subject? Do you
suppose American females are generally
in favor of free love—or freer love?
n't you overlooking the obvious fact
that American women have a vested in-
terest in the perpetuity of the present
restrictive code of behavior?

Let's take a brave and unhurried look
at the way American women have
henelited from the premium on sex.
With so many women avoiding sex.
those who do indulge are usu:
warded in a wide variety of way:
drink, entertainments, gifts. free. rent.
etc. Do you suppos the majority of
American females would be daft
to chuck this cushy way of life;

A genuine American sexual revolution
cannot be realized. merely by hinting or
asserting that it exists. And it certainly
cannot be accomplished behind the
backs of female America. I'm afraid
you're indulging in a bit of wishful
thinking. Trust to an American men's
magazine to titillate its male readership:
with the myth of a sexual revolution.

How many masscirculation women's
re conducting a similar prop-
1 should

I am inst

i
ex

nough

vines

While the church ha
in repres
place the lion's share of the blame for
ex on organized religion. The true
t cause in America has been the hi

al nthe sex ratio. Au
tudes berween the sexes derive in lang
measure from the cilects of supply and
demand. In fact, since the demand is
usually always present, we need only
concern ourselves with the question of
supply.

lt was—and still isthe scarcity of
single women in the marriageable a
group that has caused the Ameri

played its part
s perhaps ui

g sex,

anti

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PLAYBOY

146

le to build th
sex. Only once wi
been a surfeit of young fc
ica. That was for a brief period dur
ihe Second World War. Those of us old
enough to remember will recall how
matic women can become when the
wrant it, After a year or
with no one able to
predict exactly when, if ever, the former
ratio would be restored. significant
changes in female attitudes occurred—
unprecedented boldness: a frank and
outspoken need for a man's affection
The mass media of those years merely
reflected the mood, rather than having
pointed the w:
With the end of the War and return
of multitudes of exservicemen to civ
ian lile came a resumption of the former
attitudes. Prudery, abstinence,
frustration, frigidity, fear, guilt, eu.
Alas, the only sure way to trigger a
true sexual revolution is altogether u
likely to influy of
young female immigrants aged 18 to
about 28—millions of them.
Edward Zuckerman
London, England
Your theories are interesting, Ed, but
they run counter to the actual facts. 11

t pedestal for the fair
hin memory has there
Amer
g

ales in

sexual

occur: a massive

is the female who has historically suf-
fered the most from Western. society's
sexual traditions and

ho is now press-
ing Jor social and sexual equality. As

stion ve supply and de
mand. the scarcity of single

for your su;

women of

cable age that you speak of simply
does not exist. A definition of what con-
stitutes rable age" may be open
to some disagreement, Dut the ratio of
single women to single men for the en-
tire U.S. population is approximately 5
10 4—with almost Jour million more un-
marred American women than meu.

marrid

DOWN WITH WOMEN

In Helner's advocacy of the so-called
sexual revolution he speaks of the more
truly heterosexual society which will
happily resule. Isn't this paradoxical? In
IL history the most truly. heterosexual
societies have been those that imposed
the greatest strictures on the ladies. Wit-
ness the Latin countries even today—or
the Japanese society of a b y
zo. And contrast these with our noto-
riously competitive, unfemale American
females—ladies who have been given
their "freedom." By what logic does Mr.
H deduce that the girls will become
more girlish as the rules for their behav-

ior (which are too few now, I think)
drop away?
B.V
New York, New York

Sorry to disagree, but in all history
the most truly healthy and heterosexual
societies have been those that in posed
the least strictures on the ladies. There
is a direct. correlation between the sex-
ual suppression and the low status of
women to be found throughout the
more than 2000 years of Western civili-
zation; and it is the sexually suppressive
society that also becomes the sexually
sick and perverted one.

This would be more obvions to the
casual observer were it not for the fact
that societies making the greatest show
of masculinily—and, therefore. presumed
hetevosexuality—are often, just as with
individuals, overcompensating 10 hide a
homosexual obsession oy fear. G. Rattray
Taylor lists the following primary char-
acteristics for an extreme patriarchal
society: Restrictive altitude toward sex;
limitation oj freedom for women; women
held to be inferior, sinful; chastity more
valued than welfare; politically authori-
larian; conservative, against innovation;

distrust of research and free inquiry; in
hibition, fear of spontaneity; decp fear
of homosexuality; sex differences. max-
imized in clothing; asceticism, fear of
pleasure.

The competitive unfeminine American
women to whom you refer are the vic-
tims of a serious identity problem that,
admittedly, they would never have had
to face if they had not been emancipated.
H is to be hoped, however, that their
search for a more satisfying, more human
role in society will ultimately lead them
to a new image of what it means to be
a woman who is not only free, but also
uncompetitive and truly feminine. Hef-
ner intends to devote considerable al-
tention to the problems of individual
adjustment and identity in contemporary
society in laler inslallments of “The
Playboy Philosophy.”

SEX IN PRISON

As a physician, I can't pretend to be
shocked by the anonymous Forum letter
from Cincinnati, Ohio (rrAvmoy, Janu-
ry 1965). entitled “A Parolee Speaks.”
Fm damned certain that there has been
very little indeed written on the subject
of sex in prison and the long-term ellecis
of current American practices in this re
gard on the "rehabilitation" of convicts,
either for the lay public or in the medi-
cal and psychiatric journals.

Alan E. Nourse, M.D.

vorth Bend, Washington

For an appraisal of the work of one
man in the arca of Federal penology, see
the next letter.

PENAL REFORM
During the past summer, a friend em-
ployed in the Senate forwarded to me a

copy of Of Prisons and Justice by James
V. Bennett, former director of the Fed-
eral Bureau of Prisons, which, on the
event of his retirement, had been espe
cially prepared for the Subcommittee on
National Prisons.

In it were demonstrated. the. enlight-
ened, compassionate feelings of an ad

ministraro—a man concerned with, and
responsible for. the welfare and. progress
of a somewhat distasteful, though cru-
cial, facet of our society—and I saw how
in his 23-year tenure this one man had

been the motivating force in char

ing
the maximum security prison from an
antiquated house of punishment into a
rehabilitative institution. He was a tire

less innovator, and his contributions were
invaluable. One takes more than a small
ount of pride in seeing his faith in
the faithless, the scemingly “inexorably

hardened" criminal.

And yet, when I read the letter head-
cd "A Parolee Speaks" in the January
Forum, it stuck me that Bennew's
clons in the highest penal levels are
being overshadowed by the heinous in-
adequacies in the lower echelons: the
site and county penitentiaries. The
conditions described in the letter were
unspeakable, enough to inspire a very
profound disgust.

Six new dungeons! To those who some-
how can escape, such as the erudite
penologist. it seems to be nothing more
than an example of medieval brutality.
Sull, do we not remember when Mayor
La Guardia had to personally chastise
the New York police for excessive use of
brutal third-degree methods in obtaining
information, and sometimes confessions,
from even the most minor offenders?
The infliction of pain for punishment or
coercion is still horrendously evident in
our “advanced society.” And the problem
of prison sex life could most probably be
better applied to the lower a

I have watched praysoy grow in
influence through the past t
Tam sure you will be receiv

1 years, and
ng many let-
ters such as this. This is most certainly a

cause worthy of your protean elforts,
and your readers will agree with me
when 1 say you are highly qualified to

Personally, I would like to

cope with it. P
see “A Parolee Speaks,” together with
whatever proposed solution. you may
evolve, circulated to every newspaper in
this country, and to every Federal and
state legislator who would be in any way
connected with this problem.

William Earl Sprackling, Jr

Washington, D.C.

ANTIATHEISM
Concerning the proposed amendment
to the Civil Rights Bill [The Playboy
Forum, vLaywoy, November 1964] which
would have discriminated against any
one guilty of “atheistic practices. and
beliefs,” 1 would like to point out that

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147

PLAYBOY

148

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Representative John Ashbrook intro-
duced the amendment for the sole pur-
pose of using it to defeat the bill. Hc
later voted against the bill, as you stated,
which was his original intention.

We may assume, however, that if the
amendment had survived, our Supreme
Court would have voided it.

Lloyd Koziol
Butler University
Indianapolis, Indiana

Though legislators occasionally try to
kill a bill they oppose by amending it in
a manner that would alienate its sup

porters, this—according to Ashbrook
hinsel{—was not his goul in adding his

antiatheism clause to an early draft of
the 1964 Civil Rights Bill. (The amend-
ment was subsequently stricken from the
bill- hich Ashbrook opposed.) He told
us: “In adding this amendment, it was
my intention that no one he forced to
hire an atheist if he did nol desire to do
so." We agree with your assumption that
the amendment, had it ever become law,
would have been struck down by the Su-
preme Const. It is clearly a violation of
First Amendment guarantees.

LIBERTY UNDER GOD

Most unfortunately. the
Court succumbed to the multibillion
dollar orthodoxy, and the interpolation
“under God" remains in the pledge of
allegiance to the fl
speakable perfidy. Now the noble pledge
to Eiberty and justice lies prostrate at the
fect of God

What did God say on the subject of
liberty? H we trust the Bible, this He
suid

“Both thy Bondmen and Bondmaids
which thou shalt have, shall be of the
Heathens round and about you: of them
shall ve bay Bondmen and Bonds
moreover of te children of the stv:
that do sa of
shall ye buy
are with you, which they begat in your
land, and they shill be your possession.
And ye shall take them as an inher tance
for your chi'dren after vou to inherit
them for a possession. They shill be
your Bondmen and Bondmaids forever

What atrocious liberty under God! If
God's will had been carried out—a chilly
thought—whose ancestors were not of
the Heathens:

There has never been any evidence of
liberty or justice under any god: only
the liberty to bow, kneel and cringe.

If we ate to have liberty and justice
for all, it must be secured. not through
faith, but through reason.

Sulen Drangen
Monta aliforni

Supreme

x. This is un-

ds,

as
them

and of their homilies which

n among you

BECKER VS. BECKER
riavnoy, for its editorials and. com-
ments is as stimulating as any liberal
magazine published.
Twas panicularly impressed, in the

English
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January 1965 Forum, with your corre-
Spondent's views on the Becker Amend-
ment—which would have permitted
Bible reading and prayer in public
schools. 1 have since learned that. Con-
gressman Becker voted against his own
amendment, which, as you know, was
defeated

Algernon Black, minister of The
Ethical Society, New York, recently st
ed that school children's time might be

irst

better employed in memo
derstanding the First Amendment to our
atitution,

We have existed successfully so far
without a Becker Amendment, and I trust
we will continue to get by without it.

Though the Becker Amendment has
sustained at least a temporary selback
(and its author, Representatwe Frank
Becker, did indeed vote against it), it
most likely will reappear in another
guise sooner or later. Credit for defeat of
the amendment must go, in part, to per-
sons like yourself and Algernon Blach——
who were sufficiently concerned about
the threat it posed to speak publicly
against il.

IMMORALITY IN MISSOURI

I've been following The Playboy Phi-
losophy with unalloyed pleasure and
general accord these many months. (My
subscription goes back to volume two,
number one.) Your analysis of senseless
and unenforceable laws governing sex-
conduct is much to the point, but
you missed à good statutory mess here in
Missouri. Leaving aside the unquestion
bly reprehensible crime of forcible rape.
this state carries two l; the books
under the chapter entided “Offenses
" One of these ($559.
al knowledge of a fe-
male under age 16 as a crime without
ion (including death) as to punish-
ment. The other (§559.300) establishes
“carnal knowledge" of an unmarried fe-
male over 16 but under 18 of previous
chaste character as a felony punishable
by fine up to $500 or imprisonment up
to two years or both, Proof of previous
chastity, fortunately, is upon the pros
cution. The rape stitute, by the way,
like all Missouri felony laws, leaves the
maximum punishment to the discretion
of the jury, but the carnal knowledge
statute is unique in that the pu
left 10 the discretion of the tri
This situation persisted almost s
antiquity, until about 15 years ago,
when our enlightened legislature added
the ing to the chapter entitled

ist Morals":

ws c

follow.

$563.00. Any person who in the
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149

PLAYBOY

150

vicious habits or practices: or who
1 take indecent or improper lib-
erties with such minor; or who shall
publicly expose his or her person to
such minor in an obscene or inde-
cent manner; or who shall by lan-
guage. sign or touching such minor,
suggest or refer to any
lewd, lascivious or indecent act, or
who shall detain or divert such mi-
nor with intent to perpeu Y of
the aforesaid acts, shall be consid-
ered as annoying or molesting said
minor and shall upon conviction be
punished by imprisonment in the
for

immoral,

a period not ex

x five years, or be punished by
imprisonment in the cou for
4 period not exceeding one year, or
be fined in a sum not to exceed
fivehundred dollars or by both such
fine and imprisonment.

A minor, of course, is anyone
21. Mind you, no other “offense
morals” statute was repealed with the
enactment of this new law, although we
had and have an indecent exposure law,
an "acts against nature" law, and all the
others, good and bad. And mote,
that the punishment limits are higher in
the new statute than they are for “carnal
knowledge, 16-18," and, indeed, for vio-

100,

"Freud. has certainly come a long z

lation of other older pronouncements.
We are now blessed with the spectacle of
ny sexual conduct, consensual,
where onc of the parties is under 21,
being punishable by imprisonment up
10 five years, if some peeved or
appointed party just blows the whistle.

Perhaps you had better withhold my
name if you print this, and let me con-
tinue to do my mite at the bar of justi
a defense of lost causes, for a while
longer.

(Attorney's name withheld by request)

St. Joseph, Missouri

While they sirain the imagination,
Missouri's sex statutes are typical of sex
legislation in all 50 states. For a detailed
discussion of individual state sex stat-
utes, see “The Playboy Philosophy,”
February and April, 1964.

even

dis-

LOCAL FORUMS

The subject of this letter has been on
my mind since November. After reading
Hefners editorial in the
pravsov, I decided that I should write to
you and ask your opinion about the fo
mulation of a forum discussion on the
campus of the Ur Toledo.

To be more specific, T am a writer for
the Colle npus paper. In one
of my editorials 1 attempted to presen
limited version of The Playboy Philoso-

ersity of

tan, the

ay."

phy. Unfortunately, the reaction to the
presentation was violent.

The Playboy Philosophy is becoming,
a credo for many college students. In de-
fense of position, I am wondering
it is possible for you to hold a forum
t the University of Toledo, and for that
other universities?

I would appreciate hearing from you
on this matter. I do not consider this
idea foolish. but a further example of
nvolvement in contemporary problems
on the part of rrAvnov's staff.

Richard Cohen
ty of Toledo
Toledo, Ohio

We wholchcartedly endorse the idea
of organizing campus or community
forums based upon “The Playboy Phi-
losophy”—not to defend our position,
but as a means of exchanging various
viewpoints and stimulating positive
thought on subjects covered in our ed-
itorial series. We have been informed of
several forums of this kind that have
already been organized by school, civic
and church groups with considerable
success. We will supply booklet reprints
of “The Playboy Philosophy,” al a spe-
cial quantity discount vate, for use by
such groups, but feel that the organiza-
tion of these forums should remain in
the hands of those most interested in
participating m them in each commu-
nity.

PHILOSOPHY REPRINTS

During the recent months, my clergy-
men friends have been referring. with
increasing. frequency to various portions
of The Playboy Philosophy, which, I un
derstand, has been appearing in PLAYBOY
magazine im installments over the past
several years. The quotations and
expressions of opinion arc provocative
nthe extreme, producing reactions
ranging all the way from
nation to wild enthusi

1 would be most ne at
length this body of writings which has
evoked such a broad response, and I am
wondering whether reprints of the en-
tire series are available; or whether I
might secure wes including the
series.

k is

]. Thomas Leamon.
Westheld Congregational Church
elson, Con
The first 18 installments of “The Play-
boy Philosophy” are available in three
booklet veprints at $1 per booklet.

Minister

ecticut

"The Playboy Forum" offers the oppor-
tunity for an extended. dialog between
readers and editors of this publication
on subjects and issues vaised in our con-
linuing editorial series, “The Playboy
Philosophy.” Address all correspondence
on either "Philosophy" or "Forum" to:
The Playboy Forum, viaysov, 232

Ohio Street, Chicago, Hlinois 60611.

THE
JAMAICA

PLAYBOY

Why settle for just another vacation? For
as low as $16 per day. you can swing this
spring away in proper sophisticate style:
follow the jet set and jaunt to Jamaica!
Your flight pattern? Short and simple.
Seventy-five cocktail-sipping minutes out
of Miami, a skip and you're there: roman-
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THE TEN-ACRE JAMAICA PLAYBOY CLUB-
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you'll be warmly welcomed by bikinied
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largest on the island) and at the cabanas
on the 800-ft. white powder-sand beach,
more Bunnies will be on hand to serve ex-
otic drinks as well as double as lifeguards
(water proof cottontails, of course).

Here, carefree island mornings begin with
a bountiful breakfast. Then it's off to meet
fellow playboys and ‘mates at the pool, on
the nearby golf course or championship
tennis courts right on the premises. Nat
urally aquatic activities are on the d:
agenda: surfing, water skiing, scuba di
ing. sailing, glass-bottom boating, deep-
sea fishing, or simply sipping cool rum
swizzles on the sand while you soak in
the tan-talizing Jamaican sun.

Around the third or fourth day, a Bunny
led excursion bound for famous Dunn's
River Falls is usually in order. Or, perhaps

est cove in

you'll prefer to do your island exploring
‘a deux. At this action-oriented cove, group
Participation or privacy is up to you.

THEN, WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN and
the rest of the Caribbean calls it a day,
this multimillion-dollar “Disneyland for
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it's showtime!

A regular stop on the Playboy Club enter-
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enjoy nightly—with never a cover charge!
Impromptu partying — including torchlit
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trademark of tradewind-cooled evenings
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Ska, Calypso, Limbo—dance-instructress
Bunnies happily supply the beat.

And after the partying is over, your air-
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One of 204 elegant rooms, most with pri
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RSELF GO

all the Caribbean!

RATES INCLUDE EVERYTHING, START AS
LOW AS $16'at the Jamaica Playboy Club-
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occupancy include: twin-bedded room.
bountiful breakfast, VIP dinner plus FREE

entertainment nightly. Seasoned island
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For information call or write PLAYBOY
Trevel, 232 East Ohio Street, Chicago, Ii-
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or George R. Smith Organization (Beverly

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* April 17 to December 15

OR CLIP AND MAIL THIS COUPON TODAY
Vy: PLAYBOY Travel
232 East Ohi

|
St.

| Chicago. Illinois 60611 €»!

I'm thinking of “Letting Myself Go... to |
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| tien, Pictures, etc. Pronto.

| Nene

|
(Please Printi |
Address |

Zip Code |
E

PLAYBOY

152

STYLISH STOUT

ght of anything, from a Pekingese to
vent Garden soprano, just by look-
it.

c
ing
This year an alteration
le in the procedure. The sweepstake
was to function as usual, but from now
on £50 would be taken from the kitty
and handed to the winning v
cr as prize money. And the reason why
the iron entered into Bingo’s soul when
he mused on this was that he was con.
vinced that if his Aunt Myrtle, wi
the kue J. G. Beenstock, had only been
an uncle, she would have won the event
1 a canter, for she was as well-nourished
woman as ever paled at the sight of a
diet chart; and had she been cligible for
competition he could have sold a piece
of her to Oofy Prosser, the club million-
aire, thus enabling him to pay the ten
pounds which he owed a bookmaker
who was rather fussy about being owed
money. But the rules were rigid. Aunts
could not compete. Only uncles.
At 7:30 that night he was in the lobby
bault's Hotel awaiting the com-
ing of Kirk Rockaway, and eventually
Kirk Rockaway appeared. And through
w him, there fh
ted those poignant lines of the poet
Whittier—". . - Of all sad words of
tongue or pen /The saddest are these: ‘It
might have been!" For here was the
fatiest man he had ever set eyes on, a
man for a mere third of whom Ooly
Prosser would gladly have paid as much
as £20, and whoevers uncle he m:
have been, he was not Bingo's. In short,
all that superb poundage was just going

(continued from page 77)

r, he crushed down his

regrets and they went off to the
ip room.

Tr was quite a walk through the lobby,
and by the time they had seated them-
selves Bingo's host was showing signs of
Beads of perspiration had begun
to form on his forehead, and after about
the fifth spoonful of soup he reached i
his left breast. pocket for his handker
chief. He pulled it out and with it came
ibinetsize photograph which shot
through the air and [ell in Bingo's plate
And as Bingo fished it out and started to
dry it with his napkin, something famil-
iar about it arrested his attention. It por
trayed a woman of ample dimensions,
and with amazement he recognized her
s Mrs. J. G. Beenstock, the last person
he would have expected to find in his
soup.

“Hullo!” he "What on carth
are you doing with my Aunt Myrue’
photograph next your he;

Kirk Rockaway stared at him,
astounded.
“Is that divine woman your aunt?

"Has been for years
“L love her!” said Kirk Rockaw

It was Bingos turn to stare,
astounded.
ou mean you and Aunt Myrile are
engaged?

Alas, no, not yet. 1 love her. I loved
her the first time we met. But I cant
seem to get up the nerve to propose to
her."

blinding light flashed upon Bingo.
Purkiss’ words rang in his ears. "He

“In a case very similar to this on ‘The Defenders’
the jury found for the defendant.”

is a strict tectoaler,” Mr. Pur
said, and the whole thing became clear
to him.
“Have you wied having a drink
“T've drunk a good deal of sarsaparil-
la, but it seems to have no effect.”
“Sarsaparilla! What vou need is stout
and champagne.
“But that’s alcohol, and I promised

my hue mother | would never drink
alcohol.
“Well, I think if you would get i

touch with her on the ouija board and
explain the situation, she would skip the
red tape and tell you to go to it. But
that would take time. It might be hours
before you got a connection. What you
want is the stuff now. Then, when you
feel nicely primed, we will drop in on
my aunt. She has been away on one of
those Me ranean cruises, but
ought to be back by now. Waiter, br
us a bottle of Bolli nd all the stout
you can carry."

Tt was some half hour later that Kirk
Rockaway looked across the table with a
new light in his eyes. They had become
reddish and bulged a good deal. His dic-
tion, when he spoke, was little slurred.

ou were T he “L feel

great. I fe verful. Bring
on that aunt of yours!”

She lives in. Kensingtor

“Then away we go there. And do you
know what 1 shall do when I see her? 1
shall dominate her, ‘The slightest dispo-
sition on her part to reject my addresses,
and 1 shall haul off and punch her in
the eye. Do you know what I used to be
belore I became an author A cow
puncher, thats what I used to be. I've
punched hundreds of cows. | had
beautiful punch in those days, straight
and true and never traveling more than
eight inches. No doubt the old skill still

she

said.

lingers.
It was a Jongish journey to Kensing-
ton, but Kirk Rockaway enlivened it

with college yells remembered from hap-
pier days. He was halfway through
Uicularly loud one while Bingo was
aging his aunt's bell.

The door opened. Fotheringay, Mrs.
Beenstock’s butler, Kirk
Rockaway tapped him authoritatively

on the chest.
“Take me to your leader!”

t the divine Beenstock.”
“Mrs. Beenstock is not at home.
You lie!" thundered Kirk Rockaway,
continuing to tap the butler like
woodpecker. “There is a plot to keep
her from me, and 1 may mention that I
happen to know the ringleaders. Tf you
do not instantly
¢ broke off, not because he had
his say but because at this point he ove
balanced and fell down the steps. Bingo,
who had entered the hall, thought he
saw him bounce twice, but he was in a
state of mental perturbation and

may have been mistaken. Fotheringay
closed the front door,
his forehead. His own for
“otheringay’s.

“Isn't my aunt at home?
She returns tomorrow.
Why didn't you tell the gentleman
thaw”

“I was
nication w
tered. Hark at him now."

He was alluding to the fact that Kirk
Rockaway was banging on the door with
the knocker, at the same time shouting
in a stentorian voice. The
noise ceased, and Bingo, peei
through the little window at the side of
the front door, saw that his late host was
being led away by a member of the

ry
gistrate at Bosher Street Police
ing took a serious view

not

veise to holding any commu
tly plas

h one so ma

constabul.

Then
Court next mor
of the

cen days," he said, and Bingo,
who had attended the proceedings, tot-
tered from the court, a broken man. He

had been hoping that Kirk Rockaway, if

dismissed with a caution, would have
been im such a meling mood that it
would have been the work of an instant

to tap him for the ten he owed that
bookie, from whom a letter had arrived
that morning couched in threatening
terms.

Only one ray of hope lightened his
darkness. Fotheringay had said that h
aunt would be back from her Mediterra-
nean cruise today, and he had sometimes
found her responsive to the touch. if
tactfully approached. He hastened to her
house and pressed the front doorbell.

Good morning, Fotheringay. ls my
aunt in?

No, sir. They have
some shopping.
d Bingo, surprised that the
butler should have spoken of his em-
ployer, stout though she was, in the
plural
Madam and Mr. Weatherbee, sir.
“Who on earth is Mr. Weatherbee?"
"Madam's husband, sir
"What
Y tha
shipmates on the cruise fr
dam has just returned, T understand that
the wedding was solemnized by the ves-
sel's captain.”

"Well. FII be blowed. You never know
what's going to happen next in these
chaotic times, do you?”

“No, sir.”

“What sort of a b

“Very stout, sir."

Bingo was ele

“How stout?”

“There is a photograph of Mr. Weath-

ne out to do

es, sir. It

erbee in Madanrs boudoir
care to see it.”

"Let's go." said Bingo. He was con-
scious of a strange thrill, but at the same
time he was telling himself that he must
not raise his hopes too high. Probably.
by Drones Club standards, this 1
cle of his would prove to be
speci

A minute later he reeled and n
e fallen had he not dutched
passing armchair. He was looki
bound, at the photograph of a m
vast, so like a captive balloon, that Kirk
Rockaway seemed merely pleasantly
plump in comparison.
A long sigh. of ecstas

f you would

oth

Torheringay.
“Madam may be
ace, s

at to show it to
said. Bingo.

man at

the Drones.

He was thinking of his con
view with Ooly Prosser. He did not need
to be told that with this colossal uncle
under his belt he was in a seller's mar
ket If Oofy was prepared to meet his

ng inter

05
25

terms, he would let him have—
percent of this certain winner, bur he
meant to drive a haid bar

ain,

For namo of doaler nearest you, write to

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FROM RHLIS843/1

(continued from page 79)

Marie Antoine me, founder of
what we now know as classic French
cooking, went to the court of St. Peters-
burg. Before he left France, however,
Talleyrand briefed him well, and ex-
plained that during Caréme’s Russian
sojourn he was to be a spy in chef's uni-
form. At the end of each of the czars
state banquets, the important items of
conversation were in Caréme's head, and
were duly transmitted to France. In the
light of his contributions to Russian cu.
sine, it was a small price to pay. Just to
show the Ruskies the subtleties of
which he was capable, Carême created
the light dessert of spongecake and
cream known today as charlotte russe.
As time went by, the paws of the Rus
sian bear seemed to have made as much
of a lasting imprint on French cookery
as the French made on the Russian. (In-
cidentally, grilled breaded bears’ paws,
served with a swcetand-sour sauce, have
always been a great Russian delicacy.)
When the Count of Monte. Cristo was
able to feast in the manner to which he
was accustomed, what did he order?
Nothing less than a giant sturgeon from
the Volga. Russian soups such as borsch,
rassolnik and sichi are part of the rep-
ertoire of every eminent French chef.
Beef Stroganoll seems to be scoring a
commanding lead over beef bourgui-
gnon. The French brochette d'agneau is
simply Russian shashlik, or lamb on a
sword, a patio favorite all over the world.
The pinnacle of the Russian table, of
course, is the regal roc of the sturgeon.
"The Russians call caviar their black jew-
els, and they resent outsiders who dishon-
or the jewels with onion or chopped
hard-boiled egg. Caviar, not only in Rus
sit but all over the world, shines as the
highest badge of luxury eating. Along
with chicken à la Kiev, borsh and pi
roshki, it proves that the one art that
revolution never bullies is a fine cui
In Chekhov's day a Russian would
rather not entertain at all if he couldn't
entertain lavishly. His zakuskas (appetiz.
ers) spread on a bulfet table began with
a vast sea of little fish—sardines, ancho-
vies, sprats, smoked fish, jellied fish, fish
in oil, in cream, in dill, in wine, in mus-
tard, d
hams, g

smoked
me and pités, pickled vege
bles, a whole galaxy of salads which
turn led to the hot zakiskas containi
anything from blini with caviar to hot
mushrooms in sourcream sauce to tiny
balls of lamb, A favorite Russian indoor
sport was to watch non-Russians stuff
themselves like force fed geese, thinki
they were enjoying a buffet dinner, only
to be ushered from the zakuska table to
the dining room where a 23-course repast
awaited them. At this point the fun be-
gan in earnest for the Russian hosts,

followed by

ions.

who, following the best custom of the
day, didn't eat with the guests but circu-
laed among them, cajoling them to
have one more rich piroshki with the
soup, pleading with them to fill their
glasses just one more time with cham-
gne, begging them to have one last
ladieful ol pashka, a Brobdingnagian
dessert made of couage cheese, butter,
whipped cream, sugar and candied fruit-
Even today the lavish tradition goes
on in crowded Russian apartmenis
where couples band together for a giant
communal feast, cach supplying one of
the festive courses.

The pungent Russian ballet with food
tends to swirl around the sour rather
than the sweet. No Russian chef would
think of beginning his days work with-

out his smetana, or sour cream, just as
no French chef could possibly operate
without sweet cream. In rassolnik, the
Russian giblet soup, there are always
sliced sour pickles to keep the zest flow
ing until the last spoonful. The herb
dill, with its tart overtones, is every-
where. And there are scemingly limitless
permutations on the cucumber theme.
Grisp young cucumbers are in cold soup,
in cucumber and turnip salad, with sour
cream, in cucumber sauce. Many a Rus
sian begins his day by cating cucumbers.

One of the most prodigal of Russian
feast dishes is the Armenian mixed grill
of fowl. Large and small birds—from.
geese 10 chicken to hazel hens—are split,
brushed with oil and lemon, and slowly
barbecued over a charcoal fire. The re-
volving electric spit with pan beneath is
perfect for even cooking in this kind of
gastronomic production. Naturally, the
grilling time varies with the size of each
bird. A quail will need only about 10 to
15 minutes. A grilled small duckling or
baby turkey will want from 45 minutes
to an hour. Tart cold fruit sauces arc
commendable comrades for grilled fowl.

A Russian tells how the
Lord, after making the cntire world, its
mountains, oceans and rivers, asked the
people if they were satisfied. Spokesmen
for all nations hurricd to say how
pleased they were—all except the Rus
sian, who, in all humility, stepped. up
and said, "Ple. od, don't forget
some vodka." Hy the Russian has
two motives for drinking vodka. The
first is to find as many excuses as possible
for cating caviar, herring, anchovies and
the myriad appetizers that always follow

the downing of neat iced vodka, The
second is to get roaring drunk. Da
devilury and drinking have been synony-
mous ever since Peter the Great founded
his College of Drunkards, a dub of ir
reverent di Modern Russian
blades at ba parties are always
ed to drink the name of the
le spelled out in glasses filled with
If the girl happens to be an Ene
Popov, the challenge is easily tossed off
But if she happens to be an Anastasia

Bogomolova, the session calls for long,
hollow legs, indeed.
Russian gourmets these d
frown on their native vodka. The reason
for their attitude is that Russian vodka
seldom attains the finesse of the product
now produced by American distillers.
The acrid favor of the 100-proof Rus
sian vodka available in this country re-
minds one of raw grain spirits before
they're disciplined by charcoal. A partic
ularly scilppraising variety of Russia
vodka called pertsovka is flavored. with
hot chili. peppers.
rule is the imported zubroz

ys tend to

An exception to the

ka; blended

with the herb known as buffalo grass, it
proves to be a subtle, smooth. potion.
The recipes that follow—variations on

those long hallowed by Vol

gravy-

boatnen- are. tailormade to suit the

palate of the most urbane American com-

missar of cuisine.

EGGPLANT CAVIAR
(Eight appetizer portions)

1 large eggplant
dium-size fresh tomatoes
1 oil
size onions, very small dice
1 small clove garlic, minced fine
14 green pepper, very small dice
1 tablespoon lemon juice

2 tablespoons fincly minced fresh dill

Salt, pepper. monosodium glutamate

Place eggplant in shallow pan in oven
preheated at Bake 45 minutes,
turning once to bake evenly. Remove
from pan and cut in half lengthwise.
With sharp paring knife or grapefruit
knife, remove pulp [rom eggplant shell;
avoid tearing shell. Cut pulp imo
very small dice and set aside. Set the
eggplant shells aside, Lower tomatoes
into a pot of rapidly boiling water for
20-30 seconds, then hold them under
cold running water lor a [ew scconds,
peel off the skin and remove stem ends
Press tomatoes to squeeze out excess liq-
uid, then cut them into very small dice.
1n a shallow saucepan heat oil, Add on-
ion, garlic, green pepper, eggplant and
tomatoes. Sauté slowly, stirring frequent
ly, ten minutes or until all vegetables
are tender. Add lemon juice, dill, and
salt, pepper and monosodium glutamate
to taste. Spoon cooked mixture into
eggplant shells. Chill in refrigerator un-
Ul ice cold.

ANCHOVY PIROSHRI
(About 11 pieces)

unbaked pie shells, 9-in. diameter

small onion, minced fine

tablespoons. butter

cup mashed potatoes (without milk)

won

10 anchovy fillets, minced fine

Salt, pepper
gg, beaten

2 tablespoons milk

Preheat oven at 125°. Sauté onion in
butter until onion turns yellow. Com
bine onion, potatoes and anchovies and

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PLAYBOY

156

"Dll have to hang up now, but Vll call you
back . . . in ten minutes at the most.”

season to taste. Place pic shells on floured
board and cut each into 7 round pieces,

g standard old fashioned glass, 3 in.
n diameter across top, for cutting. On
cach piece of dough place about 9
teaspoons potato mixture. Lift one end
of dough over potato mixture to make
crescentshaped turnovers. Press edges of
dough with fingers, sealing tightly. Press
gain with tines of fork. Trim off any
ragged edges. Combine egg and milk,
mixing well. Brush each turnover with
egy mixture and place on lightly greased
cookie sheet or shailow pan. Bake 20
minutes or until well browned. Serve
with soup.

ONION BoRscit
(Serves four)

1 large Spanish onion
s butter
an beets, cut julienne
1 quart chicken broth or stock
2 medium-size potatoes
jj cup lemon jui
Jj cup red w
2 tablespoons sug
4 ow. sliced boiled
2 tablespoons cogn
Salt, pepper, mon
Sour crcam
Borsch is bes made one day and
served the next. Cut onion
through stem end, then cut crosswise
into thinnest possible strips. In soup pot
sauté onion in 2 tablespoons butter until
onion is limp and yellow, not brow
Add beets, together with their juice, and
chicken broth. (Water and instant bouil-
lon powder may be used in place of
chicken broth.) Pecl potatoes and cut
into very thin slices. Cut slices into ju-
lienne strips the same thickness as the
beets. Add potatoes to pot and simmer
re tender. Add
and ham.
mer 10 minutes. Remove from fire
id stir in remaining 2 tablespoons but-
ter. Add cognac, salt, pepper and mono-
sodium glutamate to taste, Add more
sugar or vinegar, if necessary, 10 taste,
Serve topped with generous. dollops of
sour cream.

sodium glutamate

slowly until potatoes
lemon juice, ving
Si

MUSHROOM DILI. SOUP
(Serves four)

Lamb bone from leg of lamb
3 medium-size onions
2 pieces celery
2 canots
Salt, pepper
1⁄4 Ib. fresh mushrooms, small dice
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
4 packets instant bouillon powder
14 cup light cre
3 tablespoons minced. fresh dill
Sour cream
The stock for this soup may be made
from the leg of lamb used in the shashlik
recipe below. Tell the butcher who
bones the leg of lamb that you want the

meat from the shank end and any meat
wimmings that might be useful for the
soup pot. Place lamb bone in pot with 2
onions, I piece celery and 1 carrot. Add
2 quarts water and simmer slowly 114
to 2 hours. Season with salt and pepper.
Skim excess fat and strain broth, discard-
ing vegetables. Cut meat adhering to
bone into small dice and set aside. Cut
remaining 1 onion, 1 piece celery and 1
carrot into small dice. In another pot
sauté diced mushrooms, onion. celery
nd carrot in butter until onion is yel-
low. Stir in flour, mixing well Add
strained stock. There should be uU
quarts liquid. Add water if necessary to
make this quantity. Add bouillon pow-
der and simmer slowly 14 hour. Add
diced lamb, light cream 1 dill. Bring
up to the boiling point but do not boil.
and pepper to taste. Serve
h dollops of sour cream,

CHICKEN À LA KIEV
(Serves six)

3 whole large chicken breasts
Salt, white pepper
ya lb. sweet butter
ya cup flour
yj cup milk
1 egg
Salad oil for fr
4 Ib. sliced mushrooms

blespoon minced shallots or spring

onions

1 cup light cream

2 tablespoons br

Have the chicken breasts boned and
cut lengthwise in half. Put chicken
breasts between two sheets of wax paper
and, using a meat mallet or flat side of

p
1

d crumbs

cleaver, pound meat as thin as in Talian
style veal cutlets, but avoid tearing flesh.
Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cut
pieces of butter about 114 in. long

nd 14 in. thick, and place one on cach
chicken breast. Roll up breast from long
side around. butter. Fold in ends so that
butter is well enclosed. Chill in refrig-
erator to harden butter. Put flour, milk,
egg and 14 teaspoon salt in well of
blender and blend until smooth. Heat
oil to a depth of V; in. in electric skillet
preheated at 3709. Preheat oven at 425°,
Dip rolled chicken in bauer, coating
thoroughly. Fry chicken until medium
brown, turning when necessary. Trans-
fer chicken to shallow pan. Bake in oven
5 to 8 minutes, Sauté mushrooms and
shallows in remaining buuer (there
should be about 2 tablespoons) until
mushrooms are tender. Add light crcam,
bread crumbs and salt and pepper to
taste, Bring sauce up to boiling point.
Pour sauce on serving platter and place
chicken on sauce. Warn guests to avoid
sputtering butter when cuttin

ASHLIK WITH CUCUMBERS
(Serves eight)

6- to 71b. leg of spring lamb
1 cup salad oil

Juice of 1 lemon
It, pepper

4 large cucumbers

y cup vinegar

2 medium-size onions, sliced

4 large cloves garlic, smashed

JA cup sweet butter at room tempel

Have butcher bone lamb and cut ii
cubes about I in. thick. (Lamb bone
mcat attached to it may be used for soup
stock.) Place lamb in large bowl with 12
cup salad oil and juice of | lemon
Sprinkle generously with salt and. pep-
per. Marinate overnight, turning meat
several times to marinate completely.
Peel cucumbers and cut It length-
wise, then crosswise into slices about 54
in. thick. In separate bowl place cuc
bers with rema
onions
with salt amd pepper. Marinate over-
night. Thread skewers alternately with
lamb and cucumbers. Broil over charcoal
or under very hot broiler llame until
meat is well browned. Brush with butter.

COLD CHERRY SAUCE
(Serves six)

19-0z. can sour pitted red cherries

2 tablespoons cider vinegar

4 cup sugar

14 cup bread crumbs

14 cup sour cream

Dash garlic powder

Dash Tabasco sauce

Drain cherries well, reserving 9 table-
spoons juice. Place cherries in blender
with the 2 tablespoons juice and rc-
maining ingredients. Blend until smooth.
Chill well in refrigerator. Serve with
barbecued fowl or game.

APRICOT COMPOTE
(Serves four)

12-07. pkg. large dried apricots

15 cup granulated sugar

T teaspoon vanilla extract

14 cup heavy cream

2 tablespoons confectioners’ sugar

2 tablespoons kummel

Place apricots in sauce]
to pan so that top of h
about 1 in. of water. Bring to boil
duce flame and simmer very slowly
about 10-12 minutes. Add sugar and
mer 5 minutes longer or u
Remove pan from Mame.
M - Chill well in refrigerator.
In small bowl be cream. until
. Fold in confectioners’ sugar and
kummel. Serve apricot compote in glass
dessert dishes or saucer champagne gh
es. Spoon cream on top.

With the preceding recipes at you
disposal, you won't have to set forth the
classic 23-course Russian meal in order
to make an impression on your guests.
Their compliments, however, will be

prodigious.

n. Add water

row

157

PLAYBOY

158

YOU BELONG
IN A CLUBMAN

SPORTCOAT

Clubman Srortcoats Division of Sagner, Inc. —933 South Maple Avenue, Los Angeles, Celifor

SEDUCED-SICILIAN STYLE
(continued [rom page 87)

and Maria Bruttamente, the cheese
herders.

MALOccHIO (with growing menace); In
front of the town, in the cars of my com-
pares, you Malocchio is not your fa-
ther? Who then, say who, spit it out,
who am I, eh, Bruno, who am I?

muxo: I thought you knew. You are a
dirty old man of about ninety-five.

MALOcEIO (smacking his own jore-
! | forgot! Then, ce I am
not your father, you cannot go to the
Hotel Boccaccio with me. It would not
be decent.

BRUNO: That is true. But, Malocchio,
my friend, could you lend me five thou-
sand. lire?

vaLoccino (leering): Aha, you will go
to the Boccaccio yourself, eh? Very well,
here is——

BRUNO: No, it is not that. I want to
buy a black suit

Matocemto: You already have a black

heady:

sui

BRUNO: It is not b
really black black s
ied in.

MALoceino (leaping up): Ha

The little Stel yi
her pregnant! Bèstia! Traditore! Sci
gurato! I disown you! You are no son
ol—

BRUNO: Shhhh, sit do
wrong! The little Stel:
innocent, a rose! Even though she h:
journeyed north and seen the gr
of Rome, she is unspoiled. 1 tell you,
Malocchio, 1 have not touched her. She
is not pregnant!

Loccino: Not pregnant? Then why
do you want to mary hi
sRUNO: Because 1 love her!

MALOCCINO (shaking his head sally):
Bruno, Bruno, Bruno. I suppose you
think you can just walk up to her Father,
ask for her hand, go to the church
get married. Eh? Is that what you think?

muxo: Yes... why not?

marocemo: Stupido! Do you ors
This is SICILY! lt is not so simpl
Now, if you really want to marry the lit-
ue Stefania, listen to me...

He leans across the table and whispers
his advice, as we DISSOLVE Tt

A flyblown sitling room in SYEFANIW'S
house. An old horn phonograph is spew-
ing a Sicilian folk song about love, ol-
ives, honor and cheap raisin wine, An
clectiic Jan whirs feebly, barely stirring
the fetid air. On a couch, noo has just
untangled himself from the arms of the
little svEFAMA, who looks up at him with
languorous saltsjaction, BRUNO has lost
about 15 pounds since the previous
scene, and his eyes are vinged with blue.

enough. I need

a! You are
» she is pure,

BRUNO (mopping his brow): Mamma
mia! You are much woman, Stefani
STEFANIA: And you are much man!
Bruxo: I will not be much man much
longer, if we go on like this!
tranta (pouting): You do not like

»ymore?
iUo: Oh, cara mia, 1 loce you! But
three for the past four
months??? A man is not made of
ANIA: Bi my sweet onc, it was

times day

ron!

your own ides nber the advice of
Malocchio ...
BRUNO: Malocchio, Schmalocchio! I

am beginning to think
STEFANIA. (poring): Do not
caro. Feel! Feel my pulse throbbi
heart pounding with love!
BRUNO: Ai, ai, AL...
As he is drawn into her arms again, we
Y TO a symbolic montage of openi
buds, Jorks of lightning, neighing stal-
lions, skinny stray dogs, etc, then. back
to the couch —

sTtrAN IA: Bruno! My

think,
g, my

ther, he is

comin,

Enter her father, von à
cold-eyed, reptilian, he is the feared
leader of P. A. S. T. A., the Protective
Association of Sicilian. Thieves & Assas
sins, Seeing BRUNO and his daughter, he
recoils.

DON Maria: You!

BRUNO; Don M.

Aria. Gross,

Bruno! Get out!
ia, you do not under-

stand. 1 love Stefania, and wish to marry
her.
DON MAFIA. (pounding him om (he

head): Marry my Stefania? You? Never!

Bruxo: Why not, signore?

DON MALA: T tell you why not! All the
time you come to my house, ch? You
make the Siela
times a day for the past four months:

amore with —three

And what happens? T tell you what hap-
pens. Niente! Nothing happens! My
Stefania, she does not get pregnant!

BRUNO (crestfallen): 1 know this, Don
Mahi ab P am ashamed. I try and L
try, for four months | iry . . . 1 do not
know why nothing happens.

vox Maria: T tell you why! Because
yon, Bruno, are not à man! You do not
have the red blood! You make a
laughingstock of my daughter! The
libors, they talk about. her—"That
ia! Nor pregnant yet?" No! My
daughter, will not y such a
E
skuno: Please, Don Mafia! Give me
ore chance!
One more chance??? You
have had. . . letta me see, three times a
day, four months, thirty days hassa Sep-
ber... you have had three hundred
and sixty chances! Out! Get out!

srerania; Bruno... Poppa... per-
haps 1 can explain. When I took the wip
to the great city of Rome, |
y wonderful th I learned about

she

weal

MAFI

learned

the air conditioning. the television, the
Coca-Cola. without the calories, and I
learned about the marvelous new, how
you say, “pill

BRUNO: Stela
americani? You ha

pills of the
i taking them:

STEFANIA: Yes. So you see, Poppa,
Bruno is not to blame

DON MAFIA: Hmmmm ... yes... that
is different. Bruno, my boy! Here, take

this
BRUNO:

(Stuffs. somethin
What is iP
Five thousand

into his hand)

DON MAF

black-black suit. You don't want to get
married in light black, like a peasant, do
you

Swifl montage of flyblown church

bells, bridal veils, rice, wedding feast,
gifts, black-black suits, etc., DISSOLVING
INTO:

Night. Mandolins playing iu. the dis-
tanec. The bedroom of the newlyweds.
Bruxo shakes the vice ont of his hair,
turns tenderly to the little

EFANIA and

gently strokes her shoulder.

srerAN DAS No, Bruno. Not tonight. |
4
RUNO: But, is our
wedding night!
STEFANIA: Try to understand, Bruno.

We must . . . control ourselves. You do
not yet have a good job. W
be able to support the litde ones. We
must wait

would not

But what about the
marvelous new, how you say, “pills”?

STEFAMA (leaping up and striking
him): Silénzio! You say “pills”
spectable married woman? Y
our home with this “pill
aditore! Sciagurato! 1 disown you!
You nd of

As he runs, cowering, from the volley
of pots, pans and pills she is raining
about his head, scampering desperately
in the direction of the Hotel Boccac
we mercifully FADE QUI.

lo a re

e no hush

159

Get ready to change your

basic thinking
about boats.

Winner has invented Quadralift,

Several years ago,
Winner engineers read of a
boating accident which
took the lives of a family
of four. The family's 16’ out-
board had fallen off plane at
30 knots* and had capsized.

(Falling off plane can
easily happen to any conven-
tional hull traveling at an
angle into the waves. When
falling off plane you lose com-
plete control of your craft
and you wind up in the scary
predicament of having horse-
power thrusting you forward
while waves thrust you from
underneath, lengthwise.)

It was this accident that
sparked the invention of
Quadralift. With Quadralift,
you ride on 4 different levels
as your speed increases.

At rest, you float on level 1.
At 9 knots, you float on level
2. At 14 knots, you float on
level 3. And at top speed, you
float on level 4.

With Quadralift, falling
off plane is no longer a
water hazard. For two
reasons. One: stormy water
can't hurt anything it can’t
slap. As you increase your
speed, your Quadralift hull
graduates higher out of the
water, in controlled eleva-
tions, There's less hull to slap.
Two: Look at the four levels
in the above picture. Carved
between them are deep
grooves. The grooves actually
form tracks as you move
through water, You go as
straight as a locomotive,
regardless of the weather.

In the past, in order to
buy a safe boat, you had
to buy a bulky, slow boat.
But Quadralift is safe because
it’s streamlined. In fact, at top

"One knot — 1.15 m. p. h.

speed, there is so little water
drag to hold you back, you
move significantly faster than
any other equally-powered
pleasure boat on the market.

Although this writer works
for Winner’s advertising
agency, he is nevertheless new
to boating. He was ridden in
several conventional hulls and

in a Quadralift hull, all in the
same windy day. Conclusion:
In addition to Quadralift's
being the safest and fastest
hull, it is also perceptibly
smoother riding. Even to this
landlubber.

Winner Boats, Inc.,
made the first fiberglass
boat in the world. Send 10€

2 3

for a brochure on the Quadra-
lift boats and other Winners.
Well also tell you which dealer
in your town to go to. He’s
already got a Quadralift in

his showroom. And he'l be
happy to show it to you.
Winner Boats, Inc., Dickson,
Tennessee.

THE GOLDEN GUN (continued pom page 70)

“They were very nice to me in every
s, sir. It seemed the least T could do.
e was this Institute place in Lenin-
grad. They gave me VIP ucatment. Top
d everything. They
to hold it against me that
I'd been working against them for most
of my life. And other people came and
talked to me very reasonably about the
political situation. and so forth. The
heed for East and West to work together
for world peace. They made clear a lot
of things that hadn't occurred to me be-
fore. They quite convinced mc." Bond
looked obstinately across the table into
the clear blue sailor’s eyes that now held
a red spark of anger. "I don't suppose
vou understand what I mean, sir. You've
inst somcone or
l your life. You're doing so at
this moment. And for most of my adult
life you've used me as a tool. Fortunate-
v. that’s all over now,

M said fiercely, "It certa I sup-
pose among other things you've forgot-
ten is reading reports of our POWs in
the Korean War who were brainwashed
bv the Chinese. If the Russians are so

^en on peace, what do they need the
K.G.B. for? At the last estimate, that
was about one hundred thousand men
and women "making war, as you c
against us and other counuies. T
the organization that was so charming to
you in Leningrad. Did they happen to
mention the murder of Horcher and
Stu in Munich list month?"

"Oh yes, sir" Bond's voice was pa-
tent, equable. "They have to defend
themselves against the secret services of
the West. If you would demobilize all
this,” Bond waved a hand, “they wouid
be only too delighted (o scrap the
B. They were quite open about it

And the same thing applies to their
two hundred divisions and their U-boat
fleet and their ICBMs, 1 suppose?” M's
voice rasped.

“OL course, sir.
Vell, if you found these people so
reasonable and charming, why didn't
you stay there? Others have. Burgess is
dead, but you could have chummed up
with Maclean.

“We thought it more important that I

should come nd fight for peace
here, sir. You and your agents have
tiught me certain skills for use in the
round war. It was explained to
me how these skills could be used in the
of peace.”
James Bond's hand moved noncha-
lantly to his righthand coat pocket. M.
with equal casualness, shifted his chair
back from his desk. His left hand felt for
the button under the arm of the chair.

“For instance?" said M quietly, know-
ing that death had walked into the room
and was standing beside him and that

this was an invitation for death to take
his place in the chair.
s Bond had become tense. There

was a whiteness round his lips. The blue
Bray eyes still stared blankly, almost
unsceingly at M. The words rang out

harshly, as if forced out of him by some
ner compulsion. "It would be a sta

the warmongers could be eliminated, sir.
This is for number one on the list."
The hand, snub-nosed with black met-

al, flashed out of the pocket, but, even as
the poison hissed down the barrel of the
bulb-butted pistol, the great sheet of a
mor-plate glass hurtled down the
baffled slit in the ceiling and, with a last
sigh of hydraulics, braked to the floor.
The jet of viscous brown fid splashed
harmlessly into its center and trickled
slowly down, distorting M's face and the
arm he had automatically thrown up for
additional. protection.

The Chief of Staff had burst into the
room, followed by the Head of Security.
They threw themselves on. James Bond.
Even as they seized his arms, his head
fell forward on his chest and he would
have slid from his chair wo the floor if
they hadn't supported him. They hauled
him to his feet. He was in a dead faint.
The Head of Security sniffed.
nide,” he said curly. "We must all get
out of here. And bloody quick!" (The
emergency had snulled out Headquarters
“manners.”) The pistol lay on the carpet
where it had fallen. He kicked it away,
He said to M, who had walked out from
behind his glass shield, "Would you
mind leaving the room, sit? Quickly. FI

have this ck

aned up during the lunch
hour" It was an order. M went to the
open door. Miss Moneypenny stood with
her clenched hand up to her mouth. She
watched with horror as James Bond's su-
pine body was hauled out and, the heels
of his shoes leaving uacks on the carpet,
taken into the Chief of Stal's room.

M said sharply, "Close that door, Mi
Moneypenny. Get the duty M.O. up
way. Come along, girl! Don’t just
ad there gawking! And not a word of
this to anyone. Understood?”

Miss Moneypenny pulled herself back
from the edge of hysterics. She said a
automatic “Yes, sir, pulled the door
shut and reached for the interofice
telephone.

M walked

across and into the Chief of
Staffs office and closed the door. Head
of Security was on his knees beside
Bond. He had loosened his tie and col
button and was fecling his pulse. Bond's
face was white and bathed in sweat. His
breathing was a desperate rattle, as if he
had just run a race. M looked briefly
down at him and then, his face hidde:
from the others, at the wall beyond the
body. He turned to the Chief of Stall.
He said briskly, "Well, that’s that. My
predecessor died in that chair. Then it
was a simple bullet, but from much th
same sort of a crazed officer. One can't
legis! inst the lunatic, But the
Office of Works certainly did a good job
with that gadget. Now then, Chief of
Stall, This is. of course, to go no fur-
ther. Get Sir James Molony as soon as
you can and have 007 taken down to
The Park. Ambulance, surreptitious
guard. I'll explain things to Sir Jame

“Now then, Miss Frimley, suppose you tell me a little

more about this ‘friend of your
who is in a bit of trouble . . .

161

PLAYBOY

162

this afternoon. Briefly, as you hi
K.G.B. got hold of him. Brai

kind. VIH tell you all I know
ve his things collected from the
Riu and his bill paid. And put somc-
thing out to the Press Association. Some-
thing on these lines: ‘The Ministry of
Defense is pleased,’ no, say delighted,

announce that Commander James Bond,
ete., who was posted as missing, believed
killed while on a mission to Japan last
November, has returned to this country
after a hazardous journey across the $
viet Union which i.
much valuable information. Commander
Bond's health has inevitably suffered
from his experiences and he is convalesc-
ing under medical supervision" M
smiled frosuly. “That bit about inform
tion'll give no jov to Comrade Semi
chastny and his troops. And add a "D
Notice to editors: “It is particularly re-
quested, for security reasons, that the
minimum of spcculation or comment be
added to the above communiqué and
t no attempts be made to trace Com-
mander Bond's whereabouts.’ All right?"

Bill Tanner had been writing furiously
to keep up with M. He looked up from
his scratch-pad, bewildered. “But aren't.
you going to make any charges, sir? Aft-
er all, treason and attempted murder
++. I mean, not even a court martial?”
‘ertainly not.” M's voice was gruff.
“007 was a sick man. Not responsible for
his actions. H one can brainwash a man,
presumably one can unbri h him.
If anyone can, Sir . Put him
back on half pay for the timc being, in
his old Section. And see he gets full back.
pay and allowances for the past year. If
the K.G.B. has the nerve to throw one
of my best men at me, T have the nerve
to throw him back at them. 007 was a
good won why
he shouldn't be a good agent again.
Within limits, that is. After lunch, give
me the file on S. nga. If we can get
him fit again, that's the rightsized tar-
get for 007.

The Chicf of Staff protested, “But
that's suicide, sir! Even 007 could never
take him.”

M said coldly, “What would 007 get
for this morning’s bit of work? Twenty

ii s a minimum, I'd say. Better [or
him to fall on the battleheld. If he
brings it off, he'll have won his spurs
back again and we can all forget the
past. Anyway, that's my decision."

‘There was a knock on the door and
the duty Medical Officer came into the
room. M bade him good afternoon and
turned stiffly on his heel and walked out
through the open door.

The Chief of Staff looked at the re-
treating back. He said, under his breath,
“You coldhearted bastard!" Then, with
his usual minute thoroughness and sense
of duty, he set about the wsks he had

igent once. There's no

aram;

been given. His not to reason why!
t Blades, M ate his usual meager
luncheon—a grilled Dover sole followed
by the ripest spoonful he could gouge
from the club stilton. And as usual he
sat by himself in one of the window seats
and barricaded himself behind The
Times, occasionally turning a page to
demonstrate that he reading it,
fact, sn't. But Porterfield
commented to the head waitress, Lily, a
handsome, much-loved ornament of the
club, that "there's something wrong with
the old man today. Or maybe not exact-
ly wrong, but there's something up with
him.” Porterfield prided himself on
being something of an amateur psychol-
ogis As headwaiter, and father-confes-
sor to many of the members, he knew a
lot about all of them and liked to think
he knew everything, so that, in the tradi-
tion of incomparable servants, he could
nticipate their wishes and their moods.
Now, standing with Lily in a quiet mo-
ment behind the finest cold buffet on
display at that date anywhere in the
world, he explained himself. “You know
that terrible stuff Miles always
drinks? That Algerian red wine that the
ne committee won't even allow on the
e list. They only have it in the dub
to please Sir Miles. Well, he explained
to me once that in the navy they used to
call it "The Infuriator, because if you
nk too much of it, it seems that it
used to put you
in the ten years th d the pleas
ure of looking after Sir Miles, he's never
ordered more than half a carafe of the
stul.” Portertickl's benign, almost priest-
ly countenance assumed |
theatrical solemnity as if he had read
something really terrible in the tea
leaves. "Then what happens today?"
Lily clasped her hands tensely and bent
her head fractionally closer to get the
full impact of the news, “The old man
says, ‘Porterfield. A bottle of Infuriator.
You understand? A full bottle!’ So of
course I didn't say anything but went off
and brought it to him. But you mark my
words, Lily," he noticed a lifted hand
down the long room and moved off,
"there's something hit Sir Miles hard
this moming and no mistake.

M sent for his bill. As usual, he paid,
whatever the amount of the bill, with a
five-pound note for the pleasure of re-
ceiving in change crisp new pound
notes, new silver and gleaming copper
pennies, for it is the custom at Blades to
give its members only freshly minted
money. Porterfield pulled back his table
and M walked quickly to the door, ac-
knowledging the occasional greeting with
a preoccupied nod and a brief lift
ing of the hand. It
old black Phantom Rolls took h
ly and quickly through
Berkeley across Oxford. Sucet
and via Wigmore Street into Regent's

he wa

two o'clock. The

n quiet-
northward

Park. M. didn't look out at the passing
scene. He sat stiffly in the back, his bowl-
er set squarely on his head, and gazed
unsecing at the back of the chauffeur's
head with hooded, brooding eyes.

or the hundredth time since he had
office that morning, he
himself that his decision was right.
nes Bond could be straightencd out,
certain that that supreme
Sir James Molony, could
bring it off, it would be ridiculous to
reassign him to normal staff duties in the
Double-O Section. The past could be
forgiven, but not forgotten—except with
the passage of time. [t would be most
for those in the know to have
Bond moving about Headquarters as if
nothing had happened. It would be dou-
bly embarrassing for M to have to face
Bond across that desk. And James Bond,
if aimed straight at a known target—M
put it in the language of battleships—
was a supremely effective firingpiece.
Well, the target was there and it desper-
ately demanded destruction. Bond had
accused M of using him as a tool. Natu-
rally. Every officer in the Service was a
tool for one secret purpose or another.
The problem on hand could only be
solved by a killing. James Bond would
not possess the DoubleO prefix if he
1 not high talents, frequently proved,
as a gunman. So be it! [n exchange for
the happenings of that morning, in ex-
piation of them, Bond must prove him-
self at his old skills. If he succeeded, he
would have regained his previous status.
If he failed, well, it would be a death for
which he would be honored. Win or
lose, the plan would solve a vast array of.
problems. M closed his mind once and
for all on his decision. He got out of the
car and went up in the lift to the eighth
floor and along the corridor, smelling
the smell of some unknown disinfectant
more and more powerfully as he ap-
proached his office.

Instead of using his key to the private
entrance at the end of the corridor, M
turned right through Miss Moneypen-
nys door. She was sitting in her usual
place, typ sual routine
correspondence. She got to her leet.
‘What's this dreadful stink, Miss
Moneypenny?

"I don't know what it's called, sir.

neurologist,

Head of Security brought along a squad
from Chemical Warfare at the War

Office. He says your office is all right to
use again, but to keep the windows opei

Tor a while. So T've turned on the heat
ing. Chief of Staff isn't back from lunch
yet, but he told me to tell you that
everything you wanted done is under
way. Sir James is operating until four,
but will expect your call after that.
Here's the file you wanted, sir."

M took the brown folder with the red
Top Secret star in its top righthand cor-
ner. "How's 007? Did he come round?”

Miss Moneypennys face was expres-

PLAYBOY

164

“Like to see what this baby can
do when 1 open ‘er up?"

sionless. "I gather so, sir. The M.O. gave
him a sedative of some kind and he w.
taken off on a stretcher during the lunch
hour. He was covered up. They took
him down in the service lift to the ga-
rage. I haven't had any inquirie

"Good. Well, bring me in the signals,
would you. There's been a lot of time
wasted today on all these domestic ex-
citements.” Bearing the file, M went
through the door into his office. Miss
Moneypenny brought in the signals and
stood dutifully beside him while he went
through them, occ:
comment or a q
the bowed, h the bald
patch polished for years by a succession
and wondered, as she had
idered so often over the past ten
years, whether she loved or hated this
One thing was certain, She re-
spected him more than any man she had
known or had read of.

M handed her the file. “Thank you.
w just give me a quarter of an hour,
ad then PH sce whoever wants me. The
call 10 Sir James has priority, of course.

M opened the brown folder,
for his pipe and began absent-mindedly
filling it as he glanced through the list of
subsidiary files to see if there was any
other docket he immediately needed.
Then he se
ted back in his ch

“FRAN (PACO) ‘P
ca.” And underneath, in lower-ca
“freelance assassin mainly

match to his pipe and sct-
and read:

under
K.G.B. control through D.S.S., Havana,

Cuba, but often as an independent op-
erator for other organizations, in the
‘aribbean and Central American states.
Has caused widespread damage, particu-
uly to the 5S, but also to CLY and other
friendly services, by murder and scien-
tific maiming, since 1959, the year when
tro came to power and which seems
also to have been the trigger for Scara-

operations. Is widely feared and
admired in said territory throughout
which he appears, despite police precau-
tions, to have complete freedom of ac-

cess. Has thus become something of a
local myth and is known in his ‘territory’
as “The Man with the Golden Gun—a
reference to his main weapon, which is a
gold-plated, long-barreled, singleaction
Colt 45. He uses special bullets with a
heavy, soft (24k) gold core jacketed with

silver and crosscut at the tip, on the
dumdum principle, for maximum
wounding cflect. Himself loads

artifices th
for the de:
308 (Trinidad), 943 (Jamaica) and. 768
and 742 (Havana) and for the maiming
id. subsequent. retirement from the SS
of 098, Area Inspection Officer, by bullet
wounds in both knees. (Sce above refer-

ences in Central. Records for Scaraman-
ga's victims in Martinique, Haiti and
Panama.)

DESCRIPTION: Age about 35. Height 6

[mE im and fit. Eyes, light brown.
Hair reddish in a crewcut. Long sid
burns. Gaunt, somber face with thi
‘pencil’ mustache, brownish. Ears very
flat to the head. Ambidextrous. Hands

very large and powerful and immacu-
lately manicured. Distinguishing m:
a third. nipple about two inches below

left breast. (N.B. In voodoo and al-
lied local cults this is considered a sign.
of invulnerability and great sexual
prowess.) Is an insatiable but indiscrimi-
nate womanizer who invariably has sex-
intercourse shortly before a killing
1 the belief that it improves his ‘eye.’
(NB. A belief shared by many profes-
I lawn-tennis players, golfers, gu
fle marksmen and others.)
A relative of the Catalan
family of circus managers of the same
me with whom he spent his youth.
Self educated. At the age of 16, after the
acident described below, emigrated ille
ally to the United States where he lived
a life of petty crime on the fringes of the
gangs until he graduated as a fulltime
gunman for the ‘Spangled Mob’ in Ne-
vada with the cover of pitboy in the c
no of the Tiara Hotel
where in fact he acted as executioni
d and other transgressors within
ad outside "The Mob. In 1958 was
forced i Hee the States as the result of a
famous duel against his opposite num-
ber for the Deüoit Purple Gang, à ce
tain Ramon “The Kod’ Rodriguez,
which took place by moonlight on the
third green of the Thunderbird golf
course at Las Vegas, (Scaramanga got
two bullets into the heart of his oppo-
nent betore the later had fired a shot.
cc 20 paces) Believed to have
on compensated by “The Mob" with
$100,000. Traveled the whole Caribb
area investing fugitive funds for various
interests and later, as his repu
and successful dealing
plantations became con.
ican
Republic and Batista of Cuba, In 1959
seuled in Havana and, seeing the w
the wind blew, while
bly a Batista man, began working unde
cover for the Castro party and, alter the
revolution, obtained an influential post
as foreign ‘enforcer’ for the D.S.S. In this
capacity, on behalf, that is, of the Cuban
Secret Police, he undertook the assassina-
tions mentioned above.
assrorts: Various, including Cuban
diplomatic.
is: None. They are not neces-
The myth surrounding this man,
ihe equivalent, let us say, of that su
rounding the most famous film star, and
the fact that he has no police record,
have hitherto given him complete free
dom of movement and indemnity from
interference in ‘his’ territory. In most of
the islands and mainland republics
which constitute. this he has
groups of fari

nd
territor
Imirers (cf. the R:

IU PPO [/ÉRDE

Awenturo
from Italy

Adventure begins on the right fcoting
«a sophisticated town pump in bold-
textured luxury leather. Black or Es-
presso brown. From the Verde (winner
of 1965 Caswell-Massey Award) col-
lection, about 15.00.

For nome of store neorest you, write:

VERDE SHOE CO., Brockton 12, Mass.

OVERHEARD LAST WEEK
AT THE STARDUST HOTEL*
IN LAS VEGAS:

“No, dear,
I've been
trapshooting. ..

at the
Gun Club...”

where your “resort collar" buys more.

PLAYBOY

166

“They're nol exactly consulting physicians,
Miss Walters. As a malter of fact,

they're just some [ellc

] 4) and. commands. powerful. pres
sure groups who give him protection and
succor when called upon to do so. More-
over, as the ostensible purchaser, and
usually the legal front, for the "hot
money properties mentioned above, he
has legitimate access, frequently sup-

to any

part of his territory.

RESOURCES: Considerable, but of un-
known extent, Travels on v
cards of the Diners’ Club va
d accou
ics de Credi
to have no difficulty
currency from the
Guba when he needs i
wovivarion: (Comment by C.C.)}—"
M refilled and relit his pipe, whi 1
died. What had gone before was routine
formation which added nothing to his
basic knowledge of the man. What fol-
lowed would be of more interest. “CC
covered the identity of a former Regius
Professor of History at Oxford who lived
npered existence at. Head
small and, in. M's opin-
overcomfortable office. In. betwee

resources

ion,
again in M's opinion, overluxurious

overlong meals at the Garrick Club, he
ed, at his ease, into Headq
ters, examined such files as the present
ked questions and had signals of

sent, and then delivered his
judgment. But. M, for
against the man—his haircut,
ness of his clothes, what he knew of his
ad ihe appare
1 processes of his ratioci

s 1 play golf with.”

preciated the sharpness of the mind, the
knowledge of the world, that C.C.
brought to his task and, so often, the ac-
curacy of his judgments. In short, M
joyed what CC. had to say.

this man,” wrote
€ caused inquiries to he
made on a somewhat wider front than
usual, since it is not common to be con
fronted with a secret agent who is at
once so much of a public figure and yet
appears to be infinitely successlul in the
dithcult and dangerous ficld of his
choice—ihat of being, in common pi

lance, ‘a gun for hire’ D inink D may
have found the origin of this partiality

men in cold blood,
s no personal
animosity but merely the rellected a
y of his employers, in the following
iccdote from his youth
circus of his father, E
. the boy had several
He was a most spectacular trick shot, he
was a standin strong man in the acrobat-
ic wroupe, often g the place of the
usual artiste as bottom. man in the “hu
man pyramid. act, and he was the m
hout, in gorgeous turban, Indian robes,
etc, who rode the leading elephant in a
woupe of three. This elephant, by the
name of Max, was a mate and it
peculiarity of the male elephant, which
I have learned with much interest and
verified with eminent zoologists, that, at
intervals during the year, they go ‘on
heat’ sexu these periods, a

biza In the

waveling

v a

mucous deposit forms behind the ani
mals’ cars and this needs to be scraped
off. since otherwise it causes the elephant
intense irritation. Max developed. this
symptom during a visit of the circus to
‘Trieste, but, through an oversight, the
condition was not nd given the
The “Big Top’ of
ected on the out-
skirts of the town adjacent to the coastal
on the night which
10 determine the fu-

ga. Mas. went. berserk, threw the youth
ly, ampled his
auditorium, causing
nd charged off
d on to the
a frightening spectacle
er the full moon which. as newspa-
1 cuttings record, was shining on that
galloped at full speed. The lo-
cal carabinièri were alerted and set olf i
pursuit by car along the main road that
flanks the railway line. In due course
hey caught up with the unfor
monster, which, its frenzy expired, stood
peacefully facing back the w
come, Not realizing that the clepl
pproached by its handler, could now be
led peacefully back to its stall, the police
opened rapid Ine and bullets from their
carbines and revolvers wounded the ani-
mal in many places. Infuriated. afresh,
the miserable beast, now pursued by the
police car from which the hail of fire
continued, charged off again along the
y line. On arrival at the
id, the elephant seemed to recog-
ze its ‘home, the “Big Top, and.
turning off the railway line, lumbered
back through the fleeing spectators to the
center of the deserted arena and there
weakened by loss of blood, pathetically
continued with its interrupted act
Trumpeting dreadfully in its agony, the
mortally wounded Max endeavored
again and again to raise itself and stand
upon one Meanwhile, the young
Scaramang
ried to throw a lariat over the animal's
head while calling out the ‘elephant
talk’ with which he usually controlled
it. Max seems to have recognized. the
youth and—it must have been a truly
pitiful sight—lowered its trunk to allow
the youth to be hoist to h
behind the elephants head. But
moment the police burst. into the
ig and their captain, approacl
y close, emptied his revolver into the
elephants right eye at a range of a few
feet, upon which Max fell dying to the
1. Upon this. the young Scaraman-
ga who, according to the Press. had a
deep devotion for his charge, drew one
of his pistols and shot the policeman
through the heart and fled off into the
crowd of bystanders pursued by the oth-
er policemen, who could not fire because
of the throng of people. He made dn
his esca

ugh the
casualties,

leg
now armed with his pistols,

for the retiring Pe
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ples and thence, as noted above, stowed

way to Amer

son for the transfor-
' into the mosi

ence, a "possible E
tion of Scar

€, born on n day a cold-
blooded desire vo avenge himself on all
humanity. That the elephant had run
amuck and apled mam
people, that the man truly
was his handler and tiat the police were
only doing their duty, would be, psycho-
pathologically, either forgotten or de-
liberately suppressed by a youth of
hot-blooded stock whose subconscious
had been so deeply Licerated. At all
events, Scaramanga's subsequent career
requires some explanation, and I trust I
am not being fanciful in offering my
own prognosis from the known facts,"

M rubbed the bowl of his pipe
thoughtfully s nose. Well, fair
enough! He turned back to the file.

“I have comment," wrote C. ‘to
make on this man's alleged sexual poten-
cy when s lation to his profes-
sion. It with which I
am inclined to agree, that the pistol

whether in the hands of an amateur or
of a professional sig
nificance for the owner symbol of

—an extension of the male organ
—and that excessive interest in guns

form of fetishism. The partiality of Sca
amanga for a particularly showy var
tion of weapon, and his use of
gold bullets, clearly po
being a
right, I
sexual
gun fetish would be either a substitute
or a compensation. 1 have also noted,
irom a ‘profile’ of this man in Time
magazine, one fact which supports my
thesis that Scaramanga may be ses
abnormal. In listing his accompl
nts, Time notes, but docs not com-
ment upon, the fact that this man
cannot whistle. Now it may only be
myth, and it is certainly not medical
science, but there is a popular theory
th an who cannot whistle has homo.
sexual tendencies. (At this point, the
reader m d, from
his self-knowledge, help to prove or dis
item of folklore! C.C)” (M
led since he was a boy. Un
sciously his mouth pursed and a clear
note was emitted. He uttered an impa-
nt "Tehah!" and continued. with hi
ling) "So 1 would not be surprised
10 learn that Scaramanga is not the Casi-
nova of popular fancy. Passing to the
wider implications of gunmanship, we
enter the realms of the Adlerian power
urge as compensation for the inferiority
complex, and here I will quote some
well-turned phrases of a certain Mr.
Harold L. Peterson in his preface to his

ver and.
k, to his

care t0 experiment a

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167

PLAYBOY

168

finely illustrated The Book of the Gun,
published by Paul Hamlyn. Mr. Peter-
son writes: ‘In the vast array of things
man has invented to better his condi-
tion, few have fascinated him more than
the gun, Its function is simple; as Oliver
Winchester said, with 19th Century
complacency, "A gun is a machine for
throwing balls" But its ever increa
cllicicney in performing this task, and its
awesome ability to strike home from
long range, have given it tremendous
psychological appeal.

"For possession of a gun and the skill

ormously augments the gun-

10 usc it e

ners personal. power, and. extends. the
ius of his influence and effect a thou-
sand times beyond his arms length. Aud

since sengih resides in the. gun, the
who wields it may be less than

m
strong without being disadvantaged.
The flashing sword, the couched lance,
the bent longbow performed to the limit
of the man who held it. The gun's pow-
er is inherent and needs only to be re-
leased. A steady eye and an accurate aim
are enough. Wherever the muzzle points
the bullet gocs, bearing the gunner's
wish or intention swiftly to the target

.. Perhaps more than any other imple-
ment, the gun has shaped the course of
nations and the destiny o£ men.”

CC. commented: "In the Freudian
thesis, "his arm’s length’ would become
the length of the masculine organ. But
we need not linger over these esoterica.
The support for my premise is well ex-
pressed in Mr. Peterson's sinewy prose

and, though I would substitute the
printing press for the gun in his con-
cluding paragraph, his points are well
taken. The subject, Scaram
my opinion, a paranoiac in subconscious
revolt against the father figure (ie. the
figure of authority) and a sexual fetishist
with possible homosexual tendencies. He
has other qualities that are self-evident
from the earlier testimony. In conclu.
sion, and havin; rd to the damage
he has already wrought upon the person-
nel of the SS. I conclude that his career
should be terminated with the utmost
dispatch—if necessary, by che means he
himself employs. in the unlikely event
an agent of equal courage and dexterity
can be made available.” Signed “C.C.”

Beneath, at the end of the docket, the
Head of the Caribbean and Cenual
American Section had minuted “I con-
cur,” signed “G.A,” and the Chief of
Staff had added, in red ink, “Noted.
cose

M gazed into space for perhaps five

reg

rea

minutes. Then he reached for his pen
and, in green ink, scrawled the word
Action?" followed by the authoritative
EP

Then he sat very still for another five
minutes and wondered if he had signed
James Bond's death warrant.

This is the first installment of Iun
Fleming's final James Bond novel, “The
Man with the Golden Gun." Part H will
appear next month.

“That's no way to run an aquarium.”

FORCE OF HABIT

(continued [rom pas

habitually thrifty person will be
tely recognize opportunities [or
nd production costs
itive

medi.
lowering overhead
ad in present-day, highly compe

markets even minor savings can mean it
great deal and cven represent the
difference between a net profit and a net

loss.

Beyond this, the person who has
formed thrifty habits will always have a
fluid reserve to meet contingencies, carry
him through slick periods or make it
possible for him to expand or make im-
provements without resorting to borrow-

ing Here again, the saving of interest
charges represents an impor -
The astute individual realizes that

such habits as promptness and thrift can
greatly help him achieve his goals. He
practices prompuness and dift until
they become second nature to him—and
he reaps rewards from the beneficial
force these habits exert on his care

But these are by no means the only
habits that can—and. do—pro-
powerful propellent to send a
man to the top of the success ladder.

One of the most valuable habits any
tyro businessman or executive can form
is that of taking a lastminute. pause to
rapidly review his reasoning before he
makes a decision. This final check-out
may require only a few m

mutes or even
a few seconds, but it pays large divi
dends. It provides the individual with
onc final—and priceless—opportunity to
arrange his thoughts in logical order and
to refresh his memory as to why and how
he arrived at h

This simple procedure greatly in-
's ability to in-
gly counter any

creases the indi
stanily and convinci
objections that may arise. It i y»
analogous to the habit formed by many
of the world's finest actors who, although
they may know their part y thor-
oughly, will nonetheless give the script
or at least their lines a quick skimming
over before the curtain goes up for a
performance.

One of the most successful salesmen 1
have ever known—he is now a top sales
executive in a giant corporation—main-
tains that he owes m
having formed this habit carly in his
carcer.

“I cven developed a sort of personal
gimmick to form the habit,” lie told me
“When calling on an account, 1 invarti
bly stopped off first to have a cup of
coffee, get a shoeshine or do something
of the sort. This gave me a final chance
to mentally review my presentation be
fore actually setting foot in the custom
ers office. It worked wonders. I sold

na pl

h of his success t

much more effectively and was always
prepared to answer any questions or ob-
jections. that

There is no doubt about it—at least
not in my mind. Whether or not one

needs a gimmick to do so, it is an ex
cellent idca to form thc habit of taking a
lastminuce 1 breathing spell to or-
ganize one's thoughts before making

decisions,

Another—albeit much less simple—
habit that should be acquired by any
man who wants to get ahead rapidly in
business is the habit of being relaxed.
The successful. businessman lly
the one who is always relaxed—even in
the face of adversity. Now, 1 hardly in
tend to imply that he is apathetic, indo-
lent and lethargic. What E mean is that
he keeps his mind receptive and respon-
sive—ailways ready to grasp and exploit
new opportunities and to understand.
and cope with new problems. He is
poised, but never rigid and unyielding
in the face of changing: situations

The seasoned bu: n is rel
iu the same sense that a crack. football
player is relaxed. The football player
who intercepts a pass docs nor freeze or
panic because the ball has unexpectedly
fallen into his hands, The new situation
that has suddenly developed does not

is usi

nessm

leave him immobile. His reactions are
flexible enough to grasp and cope—and
he takes a firm grip on the ball and runs
Il alert and yet relaxed enough

to shift direction and avoid opposing
tacklers.
A few—a very few—ledgling business-

men have an innate ability to assume
this sort of relaxed. attitude even under
But the vast majority of
ss form the habit through
s of experience.

Always think of yourself as a man
who has just fallen overboard in the
middle of à lake," a veteran oilman ad.
vised me carly in my business carcer. "If
you keep your wits about you, you can
always swim to shore or at least dog-pad-
dle or float until someone fishes you out
But if you lose your head—if you panic
—you're finished?"

1 suppose that a m
the business world is,
who suddenly finds himself in ihe m
dle of a like. If he remains calm, his
chances of survival are high. IE he
doesn't, hell most. probably drown

The tyro businessman and young ex-
ecutive should constantly bear this anal-
ogy in mind. It will do much to help
them form the habit of being relaxed
and thus able to handle themselves in
any situation,

out in

in a way, like o

Obviously. it would be impossible to
list every habit that is good or bad for
every man in business. Far too much de-
pends on the individual, his nature and
personality, the particular field or type
of business in which he is engaged and
many other variable factors.

However, any individual—whether he
is in business or not—can determine
which habits are beneficial to him and
which are harmful

Habits that help an individual live
and work beuer aud achieve his goals
are, of course, good ones—habits that the
individual should try to acquire or form.
Those that harm or hinder, interfere or
obstruct, serve no practical. purpose or
offer no positive results should be avoid-
ed or, if already formed, should be bro-
ken as quickly as possible.

Executives and businessmen would do
well to periodically make a careful in-
ventory of the things they do in con-
nection with their work with sufficient.
regularity for them to assume the char
acter of s. It is a good idea to list
these on a piece of paper. Then it is up
to the individual to make his own cval-
uations of the habits he has listed. If he
is honest with himsell, he will readily
recognize some of them as being bad
These he will do his energetic best to

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169

PLAYBOY

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discard with a minimum of del:

considered objectively to de
they can be modificd in order to make
them positive.

For example, one executive 1 know
ud formed the habit of holding weekly
staff meetings with all the employees in
his department. Although the idea was
basically sound, the meetings had been
held for several months without. produc-
ing any notably useful results.

The executive w most convinced
that he should discontinue the practice.
Then, n a habit inventory, he
gave considerable thought to the prob-
lem of why the meetings had been fail-
ures. Analyzing the matter, he finally hit
upon the answer. He had been holding
the stall. meetings at 4:15 every Fi
afternoon,

Human nature being what it i
minds of the employees at th
cach Frid: on going ho
d. They had little intere
m for discussions of office matters
utes before quitting time. The
executive changed the time and the day
of the week—and his habit of holding
weekly officestall meetings moved up
into the good-habit category almost
immediately. The meetings were th
after productive of many ideas that im-
proved output and efficiency and raised
employee morale to a new high. But an
erent habit that cannot be raised
to the “good” category should be dis
carded, for if it is continued, it can only
slide down into the "bad

As for those of his business habits that
ly good, the astute business-
man will strive to e them even more
useful, advantageous and productiv
For instance, if he can lay claim to being
habitually thrifty, to being constantly on
the alert for ways to cut costs and effect
savings, he should determine to redouble
his ellorts—io find more ways of reduc-
ing expenses and thus increasing the
company's profits.

It should be evident to ev business-

nan and executive that there are many
habits that are well worth forming. By
the same token, they should also be able
to recognize those habits that ought to
be givei wide berth—and those that
they already have and should discard.

The individi who wants to reach
the top in business must appreciate the
might of the force of |
understand that p are what
create habit. He must be quick to break
those habits that
hasten to adopt those practices that
become the h t help him achieve
the success he desires.

are cl

Cfashion Forecast

(continued from page 110)

surfing trunk, complete to a wax pocket
and lacing in the waistband. Another
version picks up the competition stripe
running across the front and repeats it
cither a matching surfing parka or
shirt. This solid surfing trunk will be
seen in duck, gabardine. stretch woolen,
doubleknit stretch nylon and Lastex.
front parkas and pullovers made to
match surfing and s will
be replacing the old cabana sets, And
about time, too.

The bel market has been
hatching some of the freshest new ideas
we have seen in a long time of fashion
waist watching. The harness buckle re-
mains the all-time favorite, but you're
going to sec more in the way of double
ring cinch buckles this spring. Leather is
the top material, but there will be
i sibles. Textured belts
so be making an appearance with
the use of water buffalo and the matte
finish oiled hides. We give very high
mber of striped ribbon

tailored tru

BELTS:

to ay

mars: The famous old Fra
sevelt “Campobello”
hat looks to be in for a revival this sea-
son. There will also be a host of new
fabrics in porkpies and side-dent styles—
denims, patch madras, secrsuckers, plus
silky slubbed doths. Combination straw
and fabric brims will be very much on
the scene and the planter's hat will
be big for the beach. Classic golf ha
coconut. will be with us, as always.
The German students beerhall cap
that has been around since the old
dent Prince days has been updated and
will show up again this ye:
SHOES AND sOCEs: Sport shoes this year
ll be of sucdelikc leather, as
well as the r canvas styles, to add
color to thc
smooth leathers it looks as if there will
on white, pale tan
and walnut brown to go along with the
standard. jet black, The shaped suit de-
mands a fuller shoe than we have been
accustomed to in recent years. But, for-
tunately, the heavierlooking models
coming out meet this requirement with-
out actually increasing in weight. We
also notice a strong return to the classic
English styles for dressy shoes that blend
well with any ense
The wemendous success of over-the-
calf stretch socks has resulted in a happy
widening of the style range. New blends,
ous rib effects and nca
be scen, but the colors
the darker, more conservative side.
We see new shades of sweater-coordi
ted socks being big this spring. Mostly

klin Roo-
shape-it-yourself

gain

soft,

summertime comfort. In

be a new emph

ble.

they will be crew socks in shaggy
brushed textures, with yellow and blue
as the favorite colors. Be sure to look at
cushioned-sole crew socks for your active
sportswear. They are particularly good
for tennis and other running sports.
NES AND ascots: Rep stripes and twill
again be the leaders this season, but
in brighter colors and grounds. Check
the rich blues, browns and greens that
be around to set off the new natural
les in jackets and suits. And don't
fall into the common mistake of assum-
ing that because your shirt is striped you
can only wear a solid-color tic. There are
a variety of patterns, such as rep, paisley
challis and shaded iridescent panels, that
cam go very well with striped shirts.
Ascots continue to climb up the popu-
larity ladder and this spring these hand-
some casualwear accessories will be seen
in pure silks, couons and blends, and
varying from solid colors to paisteys,
polka dots, batiks and abstracts.
FORMALWEAR: For our money, one of
the best new summer dinner jackets on
the market this season is a “country for-

mal" we suggested to manufacturers a
while back. A smartly patterned seer-
sucker, which looks like classic glen and
Urquhart plaids in black and white, this
outht strikes us as the answer to the
need for dress clothes that are correct
for the most formal occasion and yet
swing with today’s casual stylings.

There is a freedom in breaking with
the traditional white or black formal
dress in spring and summer that allows
you to express yourself as you like,
whether it be in gray-with-black-trim
jackets, colorful paisleys or even a pastel
shade in denim. If you have an active
social life planned for this summer, add
a couple of these extra. jackets that can
be worn as separates.

From head to toc, these are our pre-
dictions of the shape and style of things
to come in the season of the summer
solstice, Light and bright, the fashions
of the upcoming months should prove
to be a delight to the discerni
whether it be your own or that of your
lady fair.

17)

PLAYBOY

If you wonder how

your psychiatrist can
stand listeningto you,
remember that he spends
two weeks a year on the
18-hole championship
Stardust Hotel*

golf course in Las Vegas.

Why doesn't
Fran Jeffries

wear long johns?
E/SE 4268

fran jeffries
smes or SEx and
the single girl

A. 1. Because she has
a warm inner glow.
You can tell when

she sings.

2. Just look at the
picture on her
MGM album—
and stop ashing
foolish questions. íi

M GM Records is a division of Melro-Goldsryn-Mayer, Inc.

well-groomed man

(continued from page 126)

over, and a major hair
At the prema
of this nation’s men experience hair loss
to some degree—ind many of them to a
large degree. By 10, about 30 percent of
us discover that our hair is beyond re-
demption—and — usually
negligence.

Properly advised, h
nip recession in the bud
hair many years longer. By keep
scalp pores dean and allowing the
sebaceous oils to flow freely, a man
can do much to deter baldne

I jor hair recession has alr
occurred, however, there are still seve
things vou can do about it. Through
modern haircutting techniques, hair loss
moullaged. I try to place the
art as high on the head as possible so

isn't obvious that bare skin is
being covered. If the hair is receding
across the top of the head, I wouldn't
make a very low part and allow the h:
10 grow long. This would only emph;
the combing of the h
across the top. ME a receding hairline
exists and the hair is worn straight back,
it’s going to show the maximum amount
of recession. Perhaps a high part will
show that a man is a little thin on top,
but it will also add another two inches
of hairline that he wouldn't normally
have. Then, of course, daily washing
helps arrest further recession. By elim-
inating the use of oil which me

loss is app:

eut

ure age of 30, a good h

because ol

can be ca

ize
ir from the side

clings and mats the hair, making it
pear there is not nearly as much ha
there actually nee of the

ding head is

Also, I doi
hairlines should wait until the 1
ute to adopt a high part, The
comb their hair into such a part as soon
starts to recede, Hair tends to grow
toward the front of the head. If it is
parted and combed in the same direc-
tion or slightly off to the side, this
look very . Certainly it looks
ring the hair
straight back without a part.

In the event of almost complete hair
loss the deliberate shaving of all the
hair, as Vul Brynner does,
deal of sense. This can be
active if the head is a good
shape, for it gives the head a beuer b
«La very clean-look
re head, as a matter of f
ihe way I design hai
,in a sense, as if a man has
at all. A man would look much bener
completely shaved than with a hinge of
hair on the sides and nothing on the top.
Shaving the head also makes the face
look much fuller.

never be faced

But most men wil
with the decision of shaving their heads,
Their hair will be abundant, it will grow
luxuriantly, and they will be obliged to
get a proper and periodic haircut. But it
should never look as if you have just
gotten a haircut or as if you need one.
To preserve this desirable middle
ground, the male with a good head of
hair should visit his barber twice
month, Those with finetextured hair
wd slow-growing necklines cam stay
away for three weeks t0 a mor
case, a weekly haircut is nes
for hair grows usually at ihe rate of one
quarter inch each two weeks. It's al
impossible to snip off less th

a inch to make the hair even, Its
te a job, unless the bar-
ber is working with a magnifying glass.

If ivs done correctly, the
should be so much a part of the m
that it's never conspicuous. You don't
nt women to say "Look at th:
hair, admiration. Only
a that The aim should alw:
to bring the y
compact unit, so that from any angle it
seems well balanced. No hair should be
left on the head that isn't. absolutely
necessary for fullness or oudine. And
sch time the hair is cut, every hair on
the head should be cut. Don't sit still
for a wim around the edges. Most
barbers merely trim ha 1 de ears
nd the nape of the neck, then splash
n something that smells nice and get
you out of the chair. Few of them, as
1 do, take the time and considerati
necessary for an aractive

The first things 1 look

nd designing the hair are the location of

the cowlick, the structure of the h:
nd the way it grows from the pores
These are considered only flectingly by
most barbers, but irs the o lc
way to cur hair. You can't just cut
mens hair any way that seems fash-
ionable, as you can with women. Some-
body might go to his barber and say: “I
want a haircut like Tony Curtis." Bui if
he doesn't have a head of hair like Tony
Curtis’, i "1 be done.

I uy wg T
their hair styles periodically, depending
on what theyre doing or how life is
going at a particular time, Many men
can wear their hair more than one way.
haps they should look more conserva-
le older. Or they can change
their hair to suit the season, or their
feelings, or a mood. 1 wear a convertible
vut mysell: I like to part it when

wearing a s nd when Im

of
just too intr

guy's
Look

vs be

s 10 change

Im
informally dressed, driving my Cobr

then 1 just comb it back without a part
nd let it blow around.

One of the basic styl
Fox Cur I's kind of a sleek look.
smooth and even, not too flamboyant
but not too conservative, either. It's
even length. cut w

I design is the

i
h fullness 10 it. And

THE PLAYBOY ART GALLERY

SEPTEMBER MORN By Jim Beaman

173

PLAYBOY

174

it’s a versatile cut It
combed without a part, pushed str

back or worn forward. When I desi

custom: for the first time, this
is the wa is hair. Then
I show s it can be

combed. | tell him t» experiment with it
for the first two weeks, combing i
many different ways as possible, Du
frs weeks he should also
ng his hair properly. The next
s cut, the customer then has a
idea of what he wants and what
illy speaking, while
r grows in better shape for the
cutting. Tt takes about duce haircuts
before the hair achieves a permanent
1 with one of my cuts, you'll
need to comb your hair only once a da
A second type of haircut Í recommend
is called the Free Form. Vic Damone
now wearing one. So are Gig Young and
Henry Fonda. With this style, the hai
is generally combed with a part and is
much shorter than the Fox Cut. The
Free Form would be best suited for
cither a receding hairline or an extreme-
head of hair like Damone's,
is the Fox Cut would be desirable
for a man with a full or square face with

ick on the back of his head.
Steve McQueen's hair, for example, is
combination of both

These are the two cuts I most often
recommend, A style I denounce just
emphatically is the creweut. Many Am
ican men wear creweuts simply because
they don't know what else to do with
their hair. They can't control it at any
other length, so they resign themselves
10 a cut they don't have to bother with
The crewcut climinates the hair prob.
lem by getting rid of the hair. But it

a center cow!

isn’t attractive and actually requires
about as much work as any other hair
style. It must be pampered with pomades

and butch wax to force the hair to stay

up, against the way it grows. And a crew-
posing skin all over, iurt partic
thy out of doors, where the

sun beats right down on the scalp with-
out any hair for protection. The heat
tends 10 open pores on the scalp, which
allows dirt to collect in them. Amy hair
style looks better on a man than a crew-
cut. Many of my customers formerly
wore flattops and crewcuts through their
own naiveté. College and high school
kids can get away with them because of
their youth, but I am more concerned

“Promise you're not letting me lake unfair
advantage of you, Mr. Pennypacker?”

h adults. And T
such as lawyers
in the West, are abandon
ine look.

President Kennedy did
change people's ideas about h
longer feel obliged to h
shaved up the sides with white sidewalls
nd the ears and bare necks bristling
k in order to be considered
ed, We can appear trim with-
g our hair cropped right down
More men are beginning to
a younger look.
from the

E
men
least
cup

nd that professional
and bankers, at
ng thi

pe
much to
We no
Is

aro
in the
well groo
out h
to the skin.
see that a longer look
Many of us could take a cu

Europeans; they wear their hair a little
longer, which is much more
to the face. More hair is always mor

attractive—up to a point, of course.

There are several important. factors
to be considered before the haircut. be-
gil Probably the most critical is the
shape of the face. There are four basi
types:

l. Long: The hair should be cut
lower om the top than with other face
shapes, but not necessarily shorter. A
part is desirable lor this shape of face.
‘The sides should be full in order to
make the top of the head seem lowe:
An oblong face is a problem because it
can tend to look even longer if the sides
are too short and a lot of hair is worn
on the top. I try to bring the face dow
nore of a compact unit by lowe
the sideburns and making them fuller.
Many times a high forehead goes along
with an oblong face. In this event, T
ny to bring some hair to the forehead
by combing it flat down over the top
of the forchead. This is the only way
to proportion such a face.

9. Round: This is a very common
shape, generally associated with
person. The round face automa
has a compact appearance. With ]
leason, I had to thin dawn the appear-
nce of the face. The more hair on the
sides as well as on the top, the thi
the face will appear. The sideburns
should be lowered, not to the point
where they will look ridiculous, like
cowboy sideburns, but a lite lower than
normal, below the checkbone—not long
enough to be conspicuous, however. A
part can easily be worn with this shape
of face.

3. Square:

‘This is very similar to a
round face as far as the des
cerned. To thin down the apy
the face, it is absolutely neces
the hair be full on the sides. ^
nce off the jowly look. The
Iso be full over the top, but

itical as on the
Iso be a
square

Wu wen nase AEN
face you can carry as much hair as you
like, A part also can be worn. Vic D:
mone has a square face, but his hair is
exuemely curly, so 1 have to get the

be stubborn.

Your friends will say that the Gimlet [an adult blend of 1 part
Rose's to 4 or 5 paris of gin or vodka] is definitely a summer drink.

Nonsense.

The Gimlet is much too good to be confined to summer tippling.

It satisfies your craving for o tart, unsticky, robust cocktail
anytime. And that's because it's mode with Rose's: the lime juice
made only from tortly-sweet golden West Indion limes.

Tell that to your smort-alec friends.

And continue sipping stubbornly, serenely. When the temperature (=f
is 95. And when the frost is on the pumpkin, too.

PLAYBOY

FOO Ik

UH, WOULD YOU MIND
LOOKING TO SEE
WHETHER THERE IS A
TROMBLEE AD ON
PAGE 6?

UR ad is only in every other

copy; (if you knew what this
space costs you'd faint). If it isn’t
there you can either bum a peek at
somebody—you might have to try
2 or 3—else's or write Bunny Affier-
bach, Eagle Shirtmakers, Quaker-
town, Pa., and she'll send you your
very own reprint.

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fullness and yet keep it short. This is
accomplished by daily washing, and cut-
ting the hair at the break of the first
wave. The daily washing pulls out some
of the wave and gives the hair fullness.
It springs out and looks long and full
even though it’s short.

4. Triangular and Oval: You can do
just about anything with these shapes
that the hair will permit. You can comb
it into a part or wear the hair without
one. The sideburns should be normal in
length, and should balance off with the
cheekbone. Barry Goldwater has an oval
face, but I would definitely suggest a
high part in his case, because of reces-
sion in front. I would cut bim "conserva-
tive"—close on the sides and on the top.

With all these shapes, J don't try to
reshape the appearance of the face—just.
to bring the hair and the face into
symmetrical harmony. The hair is basi-
cally a frame for the face, and the out-
line is the most important factor.

One of the hallmarks of “the Sebring
look," if it can be called that,
ural neckline. On all heads, the neckline
should be as broad and massive as possi-
ble—even on a thick neck. At the
bottom of the neck, the hair should meet
the collarline. This creates a more mascu-
line appearance and eliminates the stub-
ble of new hairs coming in. Hair below
the collarline should be removed; it’s
irritating to have your collar rubbing
st your neck hairs. Men with long
necks will find that their necks appear
shorter with this ural look. A high
neckline u neck look all the
longer. For a thin neck, I would urge
that the neckline be left as wide as pos-
sible, to make it appear more massive.

A prime virtue of the natural neckline
is the elimination of unsightly neck stub-
ble. Clippers should never be used, un-
less you want to have stubble showing
two days later. I am against the use of
dippers not only for what they do to the
neck, but also because it is not pa
larly attractive to show a lot of skin at
the nape of the neck. By pruning hair
with clippers, you are only going to see
skin. You might as well not have the hair
there in the first place. If the neckline
is cut with a scissors and it lies smooth
ng the skin, it produces

es the

and even, cov
a far more desi

Sideburus are also important to the
natural look. Most men make. the
take of lining up sideburns with their
cars, If they are lined up with anything,
it should be with the top of the chec
bone and the bottom of the eye socket.
Furthermore, sideburns should be just a
bit longer toward the front of the fice
than the rear, to go with the slant of the
cheekbone and the line of the face. A

nis

slant of one sixtcenth of an inch would
be perfect. On a longer face, I try 10
lower the sideburns, and on a fuller
face I leave the sideburns a little full-
er. On a thin face, the sideburns should
not appear quite as full. If the face is
long and thin, the sideburns should still
be lower, but not as full.

For a man with protruding ears and a
thin face, I advise wearing more hair on
the sides and lowering the sideburns to
compensate. Ears are something like
toes: They are not considered notably
auractive. I like to subdue them as much
as possible. Above all, I never like skin
to show between the top of the ear and
the hairline, which serves only to em-
phasize the ears.

Large noses can also create problems.
Since the hair profile from the side is
just as important as the outline of the
head, it makes sense to develop an over-
hang of hair on the forehead to balance
off the nose. It’s also wise to wear the
hair a little fuller in the back; this helps
draw attention away from the nos

Prominent jaws and chins are handled
a similar manner. A strong, forward-
thrust chin should be balanced with a
protrusion of hair aver the forehead.

The part in your hair should be
started at the point of highest hair in-
dentition on the forehead, where the
hairline naturally recedes and then
comes forward again. The part should
be started at the apex of this almost tri
gular area and should continue back
in the direction of hair growth. A part
is actually a change of direction where
the hair goes opposite ways. I try to
design heads so there is no change of
direction other than the part. The rest
of the head should be perfectly smooth.

There are frequent exceptions to the
normal placement of the part, of course.
On men who have cowlicks, the part
might have to be raised or lowered a bit
according to the location of the cowlick.
While parting, you must always be con
cerned with the cowlick in the back, on
the crown of the head. If it's on the left
ide of the head and grows clockwise,
s no problem. The hair is merely
parted on the left side of the head. If
the cowlick is located on the left side of
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se, there may be some difficulty
getting the left side to lie flat. The
best procedure for fattening a cowlick
located ter of the head is to
comb th without a part, Lice struc
ture pe r can always be
combed without a part, no matter how
many cowlicks exist (some men have
two or three) or where theyre located.

A further consideration is the texture
of the hair itself. If it’s fine, it will lie
closer to the head. Fine hair has a tend-
ency to flatten out, but body can be
built into it with a hair conditioner and
a daily washing. The proper shampoo

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and hair conditioner will also soften
coarse hair.

Many men have been going to the
same barber for years, just as their fathers
did. Often it is difficult to suggest new
methods to this barber or to break a
from him, even though he may be in-
fcrior. Machinery tends to make the hai
cut go faster for this man. Speed is his
main consideration; but. machines
accomplish. satisfactory work. They
incapable of rounding thi s that.
comb and scissors can. Machines also
cause ingrown hairs and skin irritations
on the necks of many men, but most
barbers blithely continue using them.

Thinning scissors should not be used,
either. This leaves stubble underneath
that eventually grows and pushes up the
other hair. Thus thinning scissors ac-
complish nothing more than making the
head feel lighter.

An increasing number of barbers also
cut hair with razors, a technique some-
times inappropriately known as “the
Hollywood Cut." Razor cutting endeav-
ors to slither

the ends should not be tapered. Tt is al-
most impossible to cut short hair with
nd have it look like

ner of cutting. When
a razor cut grows back, it looks bulky in
are likely to

longer if it is bluntcut with a pair of
scissor

In short, you should look for a barber
who will provide a natural neckline and
natural sideburns, and will usc a comb
and scissors rather than clippers or other
machinery. If your barber doesn't wash
hair, it would be advisable for you to
wash your own hair before you go to the
shop—and afterward. The hair should
also be damp when cut. This keeps the

comb from sticking in the hair and en
ables the barber to find the hair's
natural placement.

The customer should also
the barber cut the hair all over
of just in the back and on the sides. It
should be cut evenly, with comb and
scissors, 10 avoid creating crevices and
potholes where the hair will suddenly
drop off into nothingness. Probably as
clo s the local barber can come to a
Fox Cut is a crew-style cut twice as long.
as a normal crewcut. This would be a
least some improvement over many ex
ing hair styles,

So much for the
about yours? If you do
daily washing and brush
scribed
gra to be well groomed
be well dressed.

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177

MAELSTROM II (continued from page 90) where no stus could possibly h

ed at them in astonishment for

the brightest of the planets were hard to weightlessness. produced a result he seconds, then realized he was ps
find in that blaze of light. would hardly have believed possible. hove one of the Farside settlements-
The dark disk of the lunar. md Lulled by the gentle susurration of the Down there beneath the pressure domes
across the star field like an cclipsing inlets, floating lighter than any feath- Gr heir dw, men were w sit the
shadow, and it was slowly growing as he — er as he turned beneath the si T SERIES Sarki RE
fell toward it. At every instant some star, imo a dreamless. sleep, CRISP

resting, qui
that he was speeding like an invisible
metcor through their sky, racing above

PLAYBOY

hi or faint, would pass behind When he awoke at some promp
edge and wink out of exist li was bis subconscious, the Earth was ne:
almost as if a hole were growing of the Moon, The sight almost B >
space, g up the heavens. brought on another wave of sel-pity, Weir heads at 4000 miles an how? Al-
There was no other indication of his and for a moment he had to fight for MOst certainly, for by now the whole
movement, or of the passage of time—ex rol of his emotions. This was the Moon. and the whole Earth, must know
nent. Perhaps they were

the cdg

cept for his regular tensecond spin. very list he see of Earth, as Ol his predic 1

When Cliff looked at his watch, he was his orbit took him back over Farside, s&wching for him with r and tele-
astonished to sce that he had left the — into the land where the Earthlighi never scope, but they would have litle time to
capsule half an hour ago. He searched shone. ‘The brilliant antarctic ice caps, find him. Within seconds, the unknown
lor it among the stars, without success. the equ al doud belts, the scintilla city had dropped out of sight, and he

once more alone above Farside.

By now, would be several miles be- ti

the Sun upon the Pacific—all w
hind—bu presently it would draw ahead were sinking swiftly behi

d he lunar Te was impossible 10 judge his altitude

of hin s it moved on its lower orbit, mounctins. Then they were gone: he above the blink emptiness speeding be-

and would be the fist to reach die had neither Sun nor Earth t0 low. for there was no sense of scale or

Moon. now, and the invisible kmd below w perspective. But he knew that he was
Gtit was still puzzling over this para- — black that it hurt his eyes. still descending, and that at any mome

dox when the strain of the last few Unbelievably, a cluster. of stars GARDE Gales

hows, combined with the cuphori of appeared inside the darkened disk, peaks that strained
might claw him from the sky

For in the darkness somewhere ahead

izard he

walls or

was the final obstacle—the |
feared most of all. Across the heart of
Furside, sp the equ
north to south in a wall more than a
thousand miles long, lay the Soviet
Range. He had be

tor from

| à boy when it was
discovered, back in 1959, and could still
remember his excitement when he had
seen the fist smudged photographs trom
Lunik HL. He could never have denned

that oi he would be flying toward
those same mountains, waiting for them
to decide his fate,

The first eruption of dawn took him
completely by surprise. Light exploded
ahead of him, leaping from peak to peak
until the whole arc of the horizon was
limued with fame. He was hurtlin:
of the lunar night, dircetly into the face
ol the Sun. At deat he would not die in

cr was yet
to come. For now he was almost. back
where he had started, nearing the lowest

darkness, but the greatest d

point of his orbit. He glanced at the suit
chronometer, and saw that five full
hours had now. passed. Within minutes,

he would have hit the Moon—or
skimmed it and passed safely out into

space.

As far as he could jud
than 20

was still descendi

e. he was less
bove the surface, and he
though very slowly
now. Beneath him, the long shadows of
the lunar dawn were daggers of darkness
stabbing into the nighiland. TI
ly slanting sunlight exaggerated. every
rie in the ground, making even the
smallest bills appear to be moun
And now, d ahead
wrinkling into the foothills of

les

steep-

mistakably, the

was risin

178

The letter was from Leopold Schmidt. It was sent November 9, 1895, to Wahl and
Henius in Chicago. The purpose? To confirm by laboratory analysis Leopold Schmidt's
belief that the water he tasted from a pump in the little town of Tumwater, Washing-
ton, was equal in character to the rarest brewing waters of Europe. The answer made
brewing history. Today, the same naturally perfect brewing water for making Olympia
Beer continues to flow from deep artesian wells. And. because this water never changes,
the refreshing taste of Olympia is always just the same

Visitors are always welcome at the Olympia Brewing Company, Tumwater, near Olympia, Washington, 8:00 to 4:30 every day. *Oly *&

179

PLAYBOY

180

“Did you guys ever play King of the Mountain?"

the Soviet R
away, but approad
ond
the [ace of the Moon. There was noth-
1g he could do to avoid it; his path was
fixed and unalterable. AIT that could be
done had already been donc, two and a
half hours ago.

It was not enough. He was not going
bove these mountains; they were
rising above him.

Now he regretted his failure to make
that second call to tie woman who was
still waiting. a quarter of a million miles
away. Yet perhaps it was just as well, for
there B nothing more to

Othe
d him, as he

age. More than 100 miles
le
wave of rock was climbing from

bee

voices were calling in the space
: once more with-
in range of Launch Conuol. They
waxed and waned as he hed through
the radio shadow of the mountains; they
were talking about him, but the fact
scarcely registered on his emotions. He
tened with an impersonal interest, as

aou

if to messages from some remote point
ol sp
Once he h

or time, of no concern to him.
d Van Kesel's voice sa
quite distinctly: “Tell Callisto's skipper
we'll give him an intercept orbit, as soon
as we know that Leyland's past perigee.
Rendezvous time should be one hour,
five minutes from now." 1 hate to dis
appoint you, thought Cliff, but that's
one appoinment FIL never keep.
‘or now the wall of rock was only 50
miles away, and each time he spun help:
lessly in space it came 10 miles closer.
There was no room for optimism now,
s he sped more swiftly than a rifle bul-
let toward that implacable This
was the end, and suddenly it became of
great importance to know whether he
would meet it face first, with open eyes,
or with his back turned, like a coward.
No memories of his past life flashed
through Cliff's mind as he counted the
seconds that remained. The swiftly un-
rolling Moonscape rotated beneath him.
every detail sharp and clear in the harsh

light of dawn. Now he was turned away
from the onrushing mountains, looking
back on the path he had traveled, the
path that should have led to Earth. Ne

mote than three of his ten-second days
were left to him.

And then the Moonscape exploded
into silent flame. A light as fierce as that
of the Sun banished the long shadows,
struck fire from the peaks and craters
spread below. Jt lasted for only a frac-
tion of a second, and l faded com-
pletely before he had turned toward its
source.

Directly ahead of him, only 20 miles
away, a vast doud of dust was expanding
toward the stars. It was as if a volcano
had erupted in the Soviet Range—but

that, of course, was impossible. Equally
that

absurd was Cliffs second thought
by some fantastic feat of org
and logistics the
Division had blasted aw
in his path.
For it was gone. A huge, crescent-
shaped bite had been taken out of the
approaching skyline; rocks and debris
were still rising from a crater that had
not existed five seconds ago. Only dh
energy of an atomic bomb, exploded at
precisely the right moment in his path,
could have wrought such a miracle, And.
Cliff did not believe in mi
He had made another complete revo-
lution and was almost upon thc moun
s when he remembered that all this
while there 1 a cosmic bulldozer
moving invisibly ahead of him. The ki-
netic energy of the abandoned capsule—
a thousand tons, t
second

y the obstacle

cles.

now racing. “Ihe impact of the man-
made meteor must have jolted the whole

of Farside.

His luck held to the very end. Th
was a brief pitter-patter of dust particles
against his suit, and he caught a blurred.
glimpse of glowing rocks and swiftly dis-
persing smoke clouds flashing beneath
him. (How strange to see a cloud upon
the Moon!) Then he was through the
mounta ahead but

ns, with nothing
blessed, empty sky.
Somewhere up there, an hour in the
future along his second orbit, Callisto
would be moving io meet him, But there
was no hurry now; he had escaped fom
the maclwom. For bener or for worse,
had been granted the gilt of life.
‘There was the launching track, a [ew
es to the right of his path; it looked
like a hairline scribed across the face of
the Moon. In a few moments he would
be within radio range; now, with thank-
fulness and joy, he could make that sec-
ond call to Earth, to the woman who was
sull waiting in the African night.

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OLD MAN PULASKI
(continued from page 124)

salival juices, the lining of the mouth
puckering and retreating as the succu-
lent elixirs of layer upon layer of
breaker established a whole r:
attitudes of gustatorial appreciation. The
wbreaker revealed its endless subtletic:
yer by layer, holding back, suggesting.
ing, until finally, the inner core, the
pit, the mother lode was fi
Each layer of breaker was slighty
and subtly different in coloration from
the one that preceded it, After the in-
itial black or red coa had be

dead white; and then a few moments La
cr it would change imperceptibly to a
dull, mottled brown with overtones of
green, followed by a rich brick-red ve
Next, perhaps, a mocking, impudent on
ionyellow. Then white n' And
then a somber, morose purplish-gray,
and so on down, layer after layer, color
alter color, until finally, at about the size
of a tiny French pea, it would crumble
ard the aficionado with a minute
seed which crunched satislyingly and

vd. The jawbreake
ble of life itself, infinitely
varied, sweet, and always receding until,
Imally, only the seed is left; and then—
crunch!

The black jawbreaker unquestionably
was one of the major influences in the
formative years, the cellophane-wrapper
days of my budding youth. It was a black
jawbreaker that taught me the lesson of
man’s inhumanity to man. The black
jawbreaker got ahold of me the way
hashish gets a strangle hold on a Leba-
nese rug merchant in a Middle
den of vice and degradation, Di
day, with every last cent 1 could scrape
up, it was nothing but black juwbreakers
J became an evangelist, converting others
—Schwaru, Flick, Bruner—until one day
the inevitable finally happened

‘The store was full of steclworkers
kids. Pulaski's screen door was banging
continually. The flies were zooming in
ns around the light bulbs
€ tiny clusters of r
of flypaper that hung from

isins

n Pulaski was back of the
hand-operated lunch-meat slicer, and a
short, angry lady was leaning over the
Toledo scale, fixing him with a beady
ski was alone in the store that
d the tide was coming in. For at
lc; minutes he battled the mi
buyers and the guys who wanted work
gloves. The flics hummed; the heat came
in shimmering waves through the screen
door.

At least eight of us milled around the
glass case, jawbreaker fever hor on om
brows, Pu i

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181

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182 Playboy Club keyhclders may charge by enclosinghey no.

could, until finally he sashayed over be-
hind the case and opened negotiations.

"AMD right, what do you want?
Quick!"

Bruner led off: "Gimme some root
beer barrels."

"How many do you want!”

“Four—and one Mary Jane.”

Pulaski rushed back to the meat

counter, filled à cont
of s

ner with a pound
uerlraut, weighed it up, shoved it
across the counter (0. Mrs. Rutkowski,
said, "LII be right back,” and hurled
himself back into battle with us.

"Root beer barrels are six for a penny.
Mary Janes are two for a penny. D'ya
want Mary Janes or root beer barrels?”

“Gimme four barrels and one Mary
Jane.” i

Fer Chrissaket!"

Nine tin-mill workers came shambling
in, hollering for beer. Mrs. Rutkowski,
in broken English, said something about
pickled pigs’ feet.

Pulaski retreated and started handing
out boules of beer and Polish pickles.
Bruner hollered out:

“I only want four barrels.”

Pulaski, for the 63rd time that day,
weighed his left thumb, the heaviest
northern Indiana, along with a couple
of pork chops. Everything was on credit,
anyway, so it really didn't make much
difference. The Depression was like that.

The place was getting crowded. The
flies hummed on and the screen door
banged. Mis, Rutkowski angrily yelled
something that could have been Lithua-
nian, and Pulaski darted back to the
candy counter. Looking right at me and
completely ignoring Bruner, he said

“Awright, what do you want

He knew what I wanted very well, and
before 1 could even open my mouth, he
rocked me with this thunderdap:

“No more black jawbreakers unless ya
take one red one for every black.

They were two for a penny. 1 hated
red. jawbreakers.

m gettin’ stuck with too many red
jawbreakers,” said Pulaski.

‘This was the first time that the laws of
economics and human chi had im-
pinged on our tumbleweed, wind-blown
lives. For a second we said nothing,
stunned. Then:

“What?

“L said, no jawbreakers unless you buy
red and black." There wasn't a red-jaw
breaker man in the crowd.

“Make up your mind. D'ya want ‘em
or not?"

We looked in through the curving
glass case at that beautiful. tray of mag-
nificent jawbreakers, almost all red, the
[ew remaining blacks spotted here and
there like diamonds in a bank of South
African day “Red jaw-
breakers!

Schwartz said: "I'd rather eat a ronen
Tootsie Roll!”

I thought it over. For as long as 1
could remember, jawbreakers had been
two for a penny—black jawbreakers.
Now, in effect, the price had doubled. 1
thought about it. Finally Pulaski's face
loomed over the counter, scowling down
at all of us. I don't think he ever saw an
individual kid. We were always just that
jostling little knot of grubby litde hands
holding up hot, sweaty pennies.

“Awright, you guys. J don't have
more time to mess around. You want the
black jawbreakers or noi

The only other jawbreaker salesman
in town was a good 12 blocks away. I was
the first to sell out:

Gimme a penny's worth of jawbreak-
ers.

Pulaski reached into the case, carefu
ng one red jawbreaker and one
black jawbreaker, and handed them over
to me, picking up my penny from the
glass top of the case. One after the other
we gave in, until finally there was only
Bruner

“Awright, what do you want?”

"Four root beer barrels and a Mary
Jane.

“Fer Chrissake, awright!"

Pulaski grabbed a handful of root
beer barrels and a Mary Jane and
shoved them into Bruner's sticky hand.
Mrs. Rutkowski was asking for spareribs,
or something, im Croatian. More steel
workers surged through the door. The
screen door slammed. Pulaski ci
shut the sliding panels of his c:
counter, turned his back on us and scu
ted back behind the meat counte

It was the first jawbreaker blackmail
caper. To get the gold you must also
take the dross. The jawbrcaker ren

ned

tue to its spirit, a pure distillation of
life itself: give and take, good and evil.

Out on the street D stuck my black
beauty far back on the right side, right
where my wisdom teeth would eventual-
ly impact. The red monster 1 shoved
ato the pocket of my Levi's. I'll give it
to my kid brother, I figured. The great
jawbreaker pushed out my cheek until
the proper tension was reached, and the
first. soul-satisfying taste of that. dark.
rich, cbony masterpiece began to sink
into my veins.

I stood at the dentists window, look
ing out over the traficjammed metro-
politan street, the burning coals of my
aching tooth subsiding somewhat in the
tepid bath of nostalgia. Only a steady,
dull, thumping, subterranean pulse re-
ned, down in the tangled depths of
my root canals, [ was still paying Pi
laski. But it had been worth the price.

“Professor Merton — you promised!"

PLAYBOY

184

PLAYBOY BED

(continued [rom page 88)

for those briefcase chores more happily
accomplished at case than at the office.
Another Jüdegree turn and the bed
faces a convenient couch on the south
wall, transforming the between
into a conversation arca.

Another set of buttons within the con-
trol panel operates an ingenious thrce-
motor vibrator system that can. be
adjusted t0 one’s pleasure. At low speed,
the system sets off a gentle tremor that

fords a relaxing massage. When the
speed is changed. the bed vibrates to
produce a pleasing soporific motion that

hastens restful sleep. Its work as a me-
chanical steeping draught finished, the
bed can be preset to give à more vig-
orous shake in the morning, timed to
coincide with a hifi serenade,

The headboard is itself a separate
control center lor a host of electronic
exotics. Hinged into the cabinewy of
the superstructure is co taping
component. that offers elite way
ound the frusmating tendency of
val television networks to put on their
better shows in the me slots. A
tached to a single set, the taping devi
lets you cnjoy a Woody Allen spe
while it silently rec the sight
sound of a Shakespe:

ne t

and
for

Istening to music have not been forgot-
ten. The headboard is equipped with
headphone input connected 10 a hi
fidelity stereo rig, which allows one rest-

less occupant to listen 10 the full rang
of broadcast or recorded sounds while
peacefully dozes. Should she
awaken hungry, there is a small. refrig
tor in the back of the cabinet with
room for a cold bird and a boue of
champagne for a midnight snack.
1n a more businesslike vein, the head-
board also features enough filing cib-
inets in tamboured. walnut. shelving to
change the sleeping arca into a hom
oic. One buil nel and tele-
phone operates as a complete inte
y lor the entire
Mansion. For outside. calls we have in-
sulled a Rapidial telephone system.
With Rapid y as 200 of the
nostolten-cilled names and numbers
are recorded on a rotating file. To make
a call a reclining bedster need only
turn to the desired name, push a but
ton and the number is dialed automat-
ically. Next to the phone system is a row
of buttons that acts as the control unit
for all lighting fixtures in the room.
Even the most beautiful jewel must
have the right sewing t0 bring it off
properly. In our decor, we have adhered
to an almost severely austere approach
‘The only other furniture in the room i
the hi-fi stereo syst th
rug over deep-pile oll-white wall-to-wall
carpeting, a silent valet and a single
brown couch. In this uncluttered scene,

our bed, in a rounded, ribbed walnut
frame that belies its great size, seems
aost to float like an enticing island.

of indolent del
sweetest ol dre

—

uly a place for d

“Little lunchie again tomorrow?"

NEW BARBARY COAST

(continued from page 76)

node can be

all the best in
found eating the “special,” the steak, or
the lamb chops, and dri e 95e
house wine. There is a long table, known
s “the lonely table,” and a small but
illchosen library for those who come to
dine in privacy. And someone may sing
the song that stands as well as any for
the spirit of San. Francisco's bohemia:

The miners came in forty-nine,
The whores in fifty-one;

And when they got together
They produced the Native Son.

Those alone at the lonely table of the
Brighton Express often go out togethe
sometimes, less lonely, they must worry
about a means to prevent the creation of
another mative son.

The above-cited ballad
pect of San. Francisco high life
c which provides one of the continu
w special elements of both North
ach. bohemia and Pacific Heights soci-
on of i
Franciso. Unlike most cities. $ Fran-
cisco simply burst into existence
the gold rush around. 1850. The prim.
itive Spanish settlement of Yerba
good herb—was as vague and
rhs on the

eveals an as:
ad low

Be
cty—the peculiar. phenome

with

Buen

escent as the good hi
shifting dunes for which the settlement
was named, There was no steady growth
of San Francisco. ‘There was gold, and
then bang it was there. It also exploded
t earthquake

out of bei
a

and rebuilding helped. pres
provisational character of the ci
with the climate, which seems alway
be April, and the gratifying slope of the
hills, and the clement views of bay and
ocean, the spirit of the city is based
upon the fact that the gold seckers
rushed across in caravans, cating one an
other at the Donner Pass only when ab
solutely the sailors, bringin
supplies, deserted ship and built their
houses of ravenously dismantled schoon-
the Chinese were teased
masse to work on the railroads; the
French and the Spanish and the Jews
aud the Negroes and the Russi
nost everybod: ed at
almost the same time. The tide of a
book on the freeand-easy charact
> street life should be:
‘ume First. The vigilantes and the
criminals were cousins, and both spoke
with Dish brogues or in the rhyming
slang of iets. The lor
shoremen have traditionally been among
the most cultured. of workers; and it
often seems, as if to make a balance,
that the girls who fill the society pages
of the San Francisco Comical, as the
Chronicle is sometimes irreverently de-
scribed, the souls of longshoremen.
That is, they love backbreaking wor

spi

necessary:

en «ross cn

everybody,

San Frane
body

Austr

n con

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‘Thus, with the entire city a kind of
loosely structured bohemia, North Beach
became a min
instant n
folks, fishermen and such, plus the free-
living and high-spending scrapings from
the gold fields or the high seas, plus the
occasional writers who are the mild glory
of San Francisco's history in the arts—
Jack London, George Sterling, Joaquin
Miller—and on to contemporary times,
with such artists as William | Saroya
Benny Bul rnaby Conrad, Alle
Ginsberg a K briefly. The
host of would-bes, sometimes-weres
and mighthave-beens give body to the
mixture. North Beach may not have pro-
duced a Dostoievsky or a Modigl
but it had its Paddy O'Sullivan, who
wore velvet and gave great parties

Nobody Came First would be one ex-
planatory title. Forever April would be
another. In other American climates,
spring is the season that brings out
young lovers and fresh vegetables, a sur-
prised burgeoning of the senses, even in
an epoch when vitamin pills and rapid
interstate trucks, continual titillation
and fertilizer tend to destroy
circularity of time. But in San F
forever-April land, the place where it is
always April, dhe restaurants of North
Beach are continually stocked with crisp
greens and fresh girls, hopeful men
languorous moods: the paperback libra-

ry of the Brighton Express, the guitars of
La Bodega, the open terrace at Enrico's.

modern
nce, the

Like San Francisco's great
contribution to the art of the d
swim, San Francisco bohemia tradi
tionally paddles a great deal, not getting
too far, and does much hip-and-pelvis
wor
somewhere,
charms. The sw
takes its place,
cial Commen

and Blabbermouth Night
the Anxious Asp. But there is a persist-

ence in the tradition, and Enrico Ban-
dueci’s hungry i, cradle to Mort Sahl,
still has the sharpest traveling comics. A
younger generation has created the
Commitee, a group doing social satire
and jazz clowning at its highly fashion-
able locale on Broadway between a Gre-
co-Turkish lunch counter and a recently
defunct bookshop. One night the Com
mitec’s crew of wandering zanies might
come up with a new org: on. the
t Boy Fascists for Christ, to de-
idience that loves to sce anoth.
k put in already-battered icons.

they may campaign
ng, capital punish-
y toward Cuba and
frigidity in women. What they some-
times miss in originality, they make up
i rgy and wacky enthusiasm. And
ay, who can discover a great new
use or philosophy nightly except Mon
days on the stage of an improvisational
theater? It is only the sour old sentimen-

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185

PLAYBOY

186,

ist who thinks things were better with
Aristophanes in the great days of Athens.

The graffiti on the walls of the Brigh-
ton Express tell this story of the tad
onal and the new, the artistic and the
pretentious, the modest and San

nciscanz

the

Long live Fogliatti*
All the World Who Is Anybody
Loves William Saroyan:

This seems to be the product of an
evening last year when Saroyan went in
10 discuss the casting of God in a new
play with the owners, the other diners
and the waiters.

Perversion is My G:
Pi equals 31415926:
Happiness is an

mpty Bladder

And. perhaps the most darkly myster
ous, Nouvelle Tague, suggestive, cool
and hip inscription of all:

Ihe U.S. is OR.

As North Beach iwelf is OK, super-
OK, necessary. At one time it seemed to
be a haven for misfits, bounded by w
on the north. opium on the south
heroin and whiskey in between. Now the
drug of choice iy Methedrine, a. decep
tively dangerous stimulant which tends
to cause brain damage in users who
ot necessarily spare much of their
gets its effect by constrict-
also tends to
cause impotence: annot go
where it is needed, Impotence is a de-
pressing condition. Most men may lead

cani
by

ins. Since i

g the blood vessels.
the

blood

lives of quiet desperation, as Thoreau
said, but impotence causes them to make
noise, Under Methedrine the b

keeps on sending erotic signals, so that
Methedrine users leon. toward special

es. “If you ireak out, man," ex-
s one poet. "why, then your mighty
a just gives the blood a push. Drs

niifically so, buddy. Wanna play?
drine suits the period —a jumpi,
nervous, knocks

© in the career of North Bi
all viole
give their tone to the arca: the quieter
poets and the more contemplative paint-
ers show themselves as. passers-by, wh
the girl who moves only in right a
jerk-jerk, jerk-jerk—makes herself visible
as she leaves the Hotdog Palace, pro-
pelled by chemistry, blinking. |
feeling mighty 3
peddler, Hube the Cube, has faded
legend: he still strolls like an honored
relic with hi
Mills College
n in 1965.

ach.
ones, the Methheads seem to

but she is more
And a strict eye

nurse

than vict
kept on. everything.
The cops keep order, with clubs.
The sociologists and psychiatrists keep.
| foundation grants.
rnalists keep in touch, with

je
dick. surveys.
The cops

p order again

An item [rom recent history can give a
notion of the complexity of forces now

at work in the cultural ch of
North Beach. Allen Ginsberg, back from
Ind was making a sentimental visit to

this turf which he, Jack Kerouac and
others caused 1o become hallowed

ground circa 1956-1958. Now the. poc
forever youthful, was weari full
beard, his hair down t0 h
blue jeans, T-shirt, tennis shoes,

own natural sweetness compounded with
the Hindu generosity acquired in the
distant East. What was he thinking of?
The beauties of the day, the ease of th
air. But then he came upon a gang fight.
a white gang against a Negro gang. Nat-
urally, being a peace-loving soul. he
leaped into the fray on the side of the
Negroes, Soon the police arrived, swi
ing their clubs. Since they, too. love peace
and justice, in ihe immemorial fashion
of cops. they immediately swung the
clubs upon the Negroes. Its not that they
take sides unfairly: it's just that they have
to swing their clubs at somebody.

Ginsberg leaped upon the biggest.
brawniest sergeant and fell to kissing
him on the checks and neck. saving.
“You must try to love these colored boys
After all. they are lonesome in Ameri
ca" (Smack, smack: great wet kisses)
“After all, these colored boys are lone-
some in San Francisco and North Beach
When you hit them with your dubs, that
doesn’t ameliorate their lonesomeness
You must oy to love them mor

The other brawlers split. Ginsberg
stood alom we the air with kindness
ind. kisses
Without stopping to define the word
ameliorate." the cop threw Ginsberg
mo the patrol car: two others got in
with him; they drove off toward the sta
tion. Silence for a moment, Then the
cop spoke: “What's your name?

Allen Ginsberg.

Pause. It should be recalled here th
the famous trial of How! took place in
San Francisco. and poetry won a mighty
victory against the police censors.

“You the writer?
es" said Allen. Ginsberg.

The cop looked at him pleadingly.
“Aw. Aw. Listen, what's a nice Jewish
boy like you running around necding a
hairan?’

They stopped the car and Jet him go.
Ginsberg stepped out of that black Ford.
He disconsolate. What is North
Beach
Allen Ginsberg is
Shortly after this di

was

ind the world coming to when

o longer an outside
essing experience,

he returned to less affable climes. North
Beach now seems decadent to him. Aft-
erward, word came that he had shaved

ad mailed it to Gove

off his beard. nor

Rockefeller of New York as a love offer-
ing, together with
ki

to be more

n app
diy to the lonesome
It is true that many past epochs of

rth Beach and the Barbary Coast

arts.

d. The day of the Syd-

have disappes
ney Ducks and the vigilance co
Australian toughs and mothers uprisen
il ihe days of their violence and muv-
have faded. The day of the tong
» nearby Chinatown has gone,
occasional arrest for o
still mars the steady progress of
reakestate values; the Chinese busi
is engaged in die importexpor
business, not smuggling. The fine pot of
the beat movement has gone to flower,
though a few nearsighted beatniks still
wander the Beach, not seeing that the
former colleagues have exchanged their
bongos for washer«lriers. The cheap liv-
ing in fishermen’s shacks on the slopes of

tees,

smok

ess-

Telegraph Hill has given way to expen-
sive living in those same fishermen’s

shacks, now called “view studios,” or to
uppermiddleincome living in the new
aluminum-glass<and-redwood apartments
springing up where once red wine w:
guzzled by fierce, runny-eyed artists who
would not compromise with conjunctiv
tis. A wonderful all-night Italian grocery
vields its space to the Galaxie—swim
dancers. The Chowder Shop and the Co-
ney Island. Red Hots give way to swim
dancers. Poetry t0 jazz gives wa

y to sick
comedy. which to the
which gives way to the swim.
But still, but still, each cartier
leaves its residue, marking North Be;
with evidence for the amateur archacolo-
gist. The environs of the Barbary Coast
still nourish far-out bays, quiet and noisy
ones, like Gold Street, where it is al-
ways New Year's Eve, or Scrooge's, where
it is always Christmas Eve, cerie lighting
from strunground colored bulbs. (This
led a Jewish schoolteacher to complain
because there is no Yeshibah West,
where it's Yom Kippur every night, and
» drinking or smoking.) Plus the Moi
e (berets and Edith Piaf), and. the
Moulin Rouge (Patti White, the Uninhib-
ited Schoolteacher, strips from her cap
and gown and horn-rimmed glasses) and
Mr. Wonderful (“Live Stereo Music"),
and the Off Broadway (Deedee tikes an
actual shower while dancing—wears a
purple bikini), and EL Matador (the
story of Barnaby Conrad's literary suc-
cess is told in framed telegrams), and the
Chi Chi (“Saucy Nevada Review"—wh
not?), and Carol Doda, swimming from a
raised piano in her topless chinchilla
suit, her protein tablets and her hormone

ves way twist,

njections, and the Howy Totsy and Bi
Als (regular stick-ups im guaranteed
Warner Brothers speak-casy mood), and

the Red Garter (banjos, beer and com-
munity singing—fch), and the Red Bab
loon (the entrance is a child's slide into
adult Park). and the Jazz
Workshop, where Lenny Bruce explored
the language and suffered the conse-
quences of using hyphenated epithets,
and the Roaring Twenties (the girls on

eis

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PLAYBOY

188 their V.

the red-velvet swings take Dramamine
gainst seasickness), and the just plain
Admiral Duncan again, where ex-college
boys hang out over [ormer college girls,
even if these college boys now work
n the brokerage firms of Montgomery
Street and the girls are not acquainted
with their wives. Ben Franklin may have
discovered. electricity near. Philadelphia,
but the Galaxie invented the swim and
sull has wall-to-wall swim girls.

The b world still survives in the
Coffee Gallery (interracial chess, jazz,
folk music, old mo!

s). the City Lights
Books, Collee & Confusion, Clown Al
ley, the Vesuvio Bar, and the. Anxious

Asp. which periodically revives Blabber
mouth Night, when anyone with a
tongue in his head can make a speech on

ny subject before audience that
s both distraction and the Truth.
The Jaz Workshop and Basin Street
West still import the best jazz
still makes it
Trieste C:

rtists.
mong
the Italians of the fè or the
Fosca Café, and on upper Grant, and in
the park. The Italian and the Chinese
children now play together

ton Park, near St. Pete
Church, although u

Broadway was a st

tween the two n

the beatniks helped break the barriers.
The neighborhoods sill have their
sey ies, but there is an i

d the Negroes have a
rived, giving a new uneasy live
this world. The Japanese have arrived
So have the Mexicans, Everyone is there
In other words, the old incvitably
passes, but it incluctably remains. Th
t still fishermen, piano tunc
thugs, gangsters, poets, painters, you
ue neighborhood frame maker, tai
nd a shop making leather clothes for
leather-wearing men). gaslights h
ing posts, cafés, colfechouses, Hawai
bars, Japanese bars, Chinese bars (one
with an entrance shaped like female gen-
italia, and ivs dark inside). English pubs
amd stakand-kiduey-pie. cmpori,
heat mission or two, pool halls, improv

verfiltrati

ess to

isttional theaters, clegant ald-
epoch saloons like the Roaring Twenties,
all spangles and d weaving.
bow-ticd tourists; there is almost every

thing that there has eve
the marvelous old Seawall warchouse on
Sansome Street, which was built from

the timbers of schooners that once
rounded the Horn for the gokl rush.
The Seawall now houses Syn: a

addicti

method of curing

acteristic of the appe:
this branch of Synanon is its c
s— jazz combos. painters and. pho-
tographers, mov ers, writers and
dancers under these salty beams flung up
100 years ago by men determined to find
halla in San Francisco, fresh

nd immoral exhibitions, a new
ice im the newest part of the New
World. These men called cach other
Slim or Pardner because their old names
did not matter.

In Synanon, too, a de
carded and the cha
free and better lile
the

ed style is dis-
ice to make a new.

The old
; the old

s olfered.

w crowds

Whatever happened to the Barbary
Coast?

Ask the bo
rent

Whatever happened to the old bohe-
mia?

Ask the sculptors of upper Grant, the
wine-drinking poets who picnic in Wash-
ington Park, the roaring pranksters un-
der the fig wee at the Old Spaghetti
Factory Café & Coffee House.

Whatever happened to the beat para-
dise?

Ask the chicks who finger the books at
the Discovery or City Lights. w for
either tue love, the connection
something-todo to come

for h

the girls for

In fact, what has happened
one period of North Beach replaces
another without a replacing it,

d in geological
simultancously.

The cool yellow-gray sky of 5:
cisco, that aslant city, foreve
sheher everyone within its
past and ng future.
came fist," as the philosopher s
it abo seems that nobody w
it. they ca
of Broadway
of nude modeling for painters succeeds
the epoch of the swim, well, the Coast
and the Beach will sur it, t0. As
long as there is good food in the family
style restaurants, good liquor in the fam-
ilvstyle bars, and expensive food in the
nous resta € liquor in
the famous bars, a bit of Emperor Nor-
ton’s and Mark Twain's oddball san
Francisco will survive.

In the spirit of the Barbary Coast is
the ancient lady with a robust past, 87
s old now, who lives alone with
t on an elegant slope of Nob Hill
just up from the sunny hollow of North
Beach. She is so old and grizzled by the
years that they didn't want to let her
down from the roof of Notre Dame last
time she visited Paris, She has hemor
h occasionally give her trou
asked the doctor
nurred, stating 0
operation should be
age. and besides, with drugs

ers, all history exists

ser

She
them. He de
minor
her
careful control of dict, she should have

to remove

t even a
voided at
and

"but I want
nd pasta! I

no trouble. “Ah,” she cried
to be able to cat Chinese
to be perfect!

At night, after two o'dock, when the
bars close and the cocktail waitr
swim dancers come off work, su

ghosts of the dear departed Sydney
Ducks see their lovely pretty waiter gi
wipping home in their net stockings,
their piled-up hair and their hormonc-
nereased curves, wanting to be perfect.
The contemporary Am need
consume bohemias, leisure and the per
fections of art may force the curves a
little, but there are those curves any
They get medical help. perhaps. but
those girls do curve. Ogling and tumes
cence and the light fantastic remain in
style. "Goodbye. Charley, I've done all T
could," says Belle Cora. “Oh God! Oh
God! 1 am shot!" says Mr. King. “I
wed to know a girl in exactly that spot,
just that spot there,” says Enrico !
ducci, former concert violinist, survivi
n of the beat revolution, honored
founder of the hungry i and Enrico’s
Coffeehouse, honored owner of Mike’
Pool Hall and over 20 berets, plus pieces
of fighters and films, plus plane.
ranch. a meat-packing pl
a alimony for a
te number of former w
ppened to that there gi
Tell you what happened, Bandooch.
For the boys from across the Bay and
from the Fillmore, for the boys from
across the continent in the Midwest and
New York, and for the boys merely itch-
g to get away from Portland, Oregon
es. She is born every minute.
h is her domain. And for the
girls who yearn for the salty, sloping,
masculine grace of old-time San Francis-
ching
e bounded
n Hills, by
v. by the limits
of pride, lust and wallet. Those search
id. They seek to be

indetermi
cs. "Wonder

vestment

whatever.

ers want to be fou
reformed. They di

houses through
alternoon of San F
fully, like A they tur

their eyes upward, toward the biza
blue dome of the Columbus Towers,
once the headquarters for gangsters and
panders, now an office building owned by
the Kingston Trio, Not the muczzin
peeks out from the sharp edge of the
tower to chant at dusk, but rather, Ray
Lopez the hip barber, who alfers his
diens The Hudson Review and Réali-
tës, comes to his window to oller a mild
blessing to the worshipers gathered be
low. A blessing, a discussion of new
trends in the theater of the absurd, and
an expert haircut

What has happened to the Bar
Coast is t

y
ns, the

colors swirl, age comes and gocs—as does
youth, as do time and history. Implausi
ble, incredible, impractical, impossible,
it offers but one incontrovertible bit of
evidence for its existence. It survives, it
is there.

PLAYBOY

190

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and drink, hi-fi, etc. If your

question involves items you saw
in PLAYBOY, please spe

page number and issue of the

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THE VISITOR CLASSIC REVIVALS, STELLA STEVENS

“THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN"'—PART TWO OF SECRET
AGENT JAMES BOND'S FINAL ADVENTURE—BY IAN FLEMING
"THE VISITOR"—A SUSPENSEFUL TALE OF A DESERT TRAV-
ELER, A MYSTERIOUSLY BENIGN BENEFACTOR, HIS BEAUTIFUL
WIFE AND RECEPTIVE DAUGHTER—BY ROALD DAHL

A CANDID CONVERSATION WITH JEAN-PAUL SARTRE—THE
CODIFIER OF EXISTENTIALISM AND RECENT REJECTOR OF THE
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IN AN EXCLUSIVE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW

“THE LIBERAL DILEMMA"—A POLITICAL COMMENTATOR'S
COGENT VIEW OF THE IMMOBILIZING PREDICAMENT FACING
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“MOTORING’S CLASSIC REVIVALS"—THREE GRAND OLD
NAMES FROM THE GOLDEN AGE OF CARS ARE RETURNING TO
THE CONTEMPORARY SCENE—BY KEN W. PURDY

“THE HISTORY OF SEX IN CINEMA"—PART TWO IN A DE-
FINITIVE STUDY OF THE EROTIC CONTENT OF FILMS—BY NOTED
CRITICS ARTHUR KNIGHT AND HOLLIS ALPERT
*SOUVENIR"—A WILD AND MELANCHOLIC GROTESQUERIE
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CALL ON OUR ERSTWHILE PLAYMATE, FINDS HOLLYWOOD'S
NEWEST STAR AS FETCHINGLY PHOTOGENIC AS EVER

“PROOFS POSITIVE"—A TRANSATLANTIC TAKEOUT ON THOSE
‘SPIRITED WHISKIES AND WHISKEYS FROM SCOTLAND, IRELAND,
CANADA AND THE UNITED STATES—BY THOMAS MARIO
"PLAYBOY CLUB PREMIERES—LOS ANGELES AND JAMAI-
CA"—FROM CALIFORNIA TO THE CARIBBEAN, PLAYBOY TAKES
YOU TO THE SWINGING DEBUTS OF OUR HOLLYWOOD HUTCH
AND OUR COCONUT-PALMED OCHO RIOS CLUB-RESORT
“BEING REFINED"—A WELL-MEANING FATHER SUFFERS FROM
ARMENIAN FOOT-IN-MOUTH DISEASE~BY WILLIAM SAROYAN
4THE HOWS AND WHYS OF THE PERFECT MURDER"—AN
ABSORBING INSPECTION OF CERTAIN SELECT UNSOLVED HOMI-
CIDES OF THE PAST AND TODAY'S MOST UNDETECTABLE AVE-
NUES OF DISPATCH—BY MURRAY TEIGH ELOOM

RULES OF LONDON BIDS YOU WELCOME WITH
JUGGED HARE AND CANADIAN CLUB

Bowlers and umbrellas hang from ancient hatracks. Secret nooks are named
for historical patrons. There’s a Dickens corner and a King Edward VII corner.
The Jugged Hare, served on Wednesdays, comes with Red Currant Jelly.

On Tuesdays enjoy Boiled Silverside with dumplings.

Stilton cheese is always on hand. And so is your old friend, Canadian Club,
awaiting your pleasure in short ones before dinner, and tall ones after.

Why this whisky’s universal popularity? It has the
lightness of Scotch and the smooth satisfaction of
Bourbon. No other whisky tastes quite like it. Try
Canadian Club—the world’s lightest whisky—this very
evening, It's "The Best In The House"* in 87 lands.

He's witty, he’s charming,
he drinks Schlitz.
I think il marry him.

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