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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN MARCH 1967 +75 CENTS 


PLAYBOY 


THE BUNNIES OF THE 
SHOW-ME STATE 
SHOW OFF IN A 
TEN-PAGE PICTORIAL 


#0 AND 100 PROOF. DISTILLED FROM GRAIN. STE PIERRE SMIRNOFF FLS. (DIVISION DF HEUBLEIN), HARTFORD, CONN. 


ZSA ZSA GABOR, STAR OF STAGE, SCREEN & TELEVISION 


“DON'T DARLING ME IF IT'S NOT SMIRNOFF” 


s expect Smirnoff Vodka just as Zsa is dryer in a Martini, smoother on-the-rocks, 
nple reason. It makes a blends more perfectly in a Screwdriver, іп a 
through 14,000 pounds Bloody Mary or in a Mule. So always put out 
of activated charcoal, crystal-clear Smirnoff the Smirnoff... anything less reflects оп you! 


г e 
Alweys ask for Smirnoff oo It leaves you breathless? 


There’s a bit of the beast in every bug. 


И doesn't take much ta unleash the sav- 
age fury of a Volkswagen. 

Take almost any old VW, replace the 
body, make a few simple adjustments, and 
you've got a Formula Vee racer. 

How can a mild-mannered, practical, 
everyday Volkswagen convert so easily 
into something so delighifully impractical? 

In the words of the Formula Vee Inter- 
national Manual: “Volkswagen components 


seem to have been made expressly for use 
in a racing car. 

"The engine, air-cooled and mostly 
aluminum, is light for its power output and 
already adapted to the reor-engine con- 
cept of modern racing cars.” 

"lis rugged construction provides а 
power plant which seems to be practically 
indestructible, even at racing speeds.” 

“Operating costs are amazingly low. 


One set of tires will ordinarily last more 
thon a season and one oil change a year 
is sufficient. 

It seems that the same things that make 
the VW a sensible car for people who 
aren't in any particular hurry to get some- 

<= where also make the Formula 
Vee a sensible car for people 
who are in а big hurry to get 
nowhere. 


BEES SSS SS == 


The tire shape of the future—a new concept of tire safety. 


The New Super Sports 


WIDE 
TIRE 


Built wide like a race tire. 
To grip better. Corner easier. 


Run cooler. Stop quicker. 


Its not what we get out of racing 
Its what you get. 


The new Super Sports Wide Oval tire. 
Sefest tire we've ever built. Actually 
developed out of our racing research. 


It's a passenger-car tire, but built 
wide. Nearly two inches wider than 
your present tire. To start faster. 
Corner easier. Run cooler. Stop 
quicker. 25% quicker. 


It even takes less horsepower to 
move than ordinary tires. 


The new 1967 high-performance cars 
are оп Firestone Wide Oval tires. You 
can get them for your present car at 
any Firestone Dealer or Store, 


The Super Sports Wide Oval. Another 
first in ше safety engineering—from 
Firestone. Wide Oval-ı 4 


Your safety is our business 


Jeans from h.i.s 


We designed these jeans to give you a minimum 
of wind-resistance. Or any kind of resistance. $6 
in softly sueded extra-wide-wale cord. Other fab- 
rics $4.50 to $8. Talon zipper. Poor Boy cotton 
knit shirt, $3.50. Prices slightly higher in the 
West. For names of nearby retailers please write: 
h.i.s, 16 East 34th Street, New York, N.Y. 10016. 


Ride a pair of 


TOMKINS 


PACKARD 


POLANSKI 
PLAYBILL AMONG the distinc- 
tions of the issue at 
ally notable, we think, 
id pictorial delights— 
in The Tate Galler 
i, of the special talents 
cameraman behind 
PLAYBOY'S photographic ess on the 
Gnemattractive Miss Sharon Tate. Po- 
Hiant Polish film author 
nd director (Knife in the Water, Repul- 
sion) Taureled in last October's On the 
Scene—directed Miss Tate in his just 
completed horror spoof, The Vampire 
Killers. Not long ago he was chosen to 
be a guest director at London's Old Vic, 
and he is currently at work on a fifth 
ing capital use of his tons 
term loan to the West. 
Ray Russell's 


nd—one espec 
for its fictional 

is its demonstration 
Pictures by Polansk 
of Roman Pol 


‘austian Comet Wine, 
which leads off this month's fiction, 
numbers among its characters such real- 
life figures as Rimsky-Korsakov, Mous- 
sorgsky and Balakirev, and reintroduces 
PLAYBOY readers 10 a couple of old ас: 
quaintances, Lord Henry Stanton and 
Sir Robert Cargrave, those elegant cro- 
of Russell's Sardonicus (PLAYBOY, 
January 1961). From Beverly Hills, Ray 
reports that he has finished his Hth 
filmwriting assignment and is now deep 
imo a new novel. 

The old man in Harry Mark Petrakis' 
The Witness attracted. the burly Chicago 
writer “because nearly everyone faces 
the problem of the aging parent and be- 
cause the emotions the situation involves 
are completely universal.” — Petrakis' 
search for themes found full 
expression most recently in A Dream of 
Kings, part of which appeared as a short 
story in рглувоу last September under 
the title The Gold of Troy. Subsequently, 


universal 


GOODMAN 


PETRAKIS 


David McKay published the novel to 
enthusiastic reviews and heavy sale 

In this issue, rLavnoy concludes its 
four-part serialization of An Expensive 
Place 10 Die. Len Deighton's new novel 
of i ntrigue and perverse 
prepublication | appearance 
here of Deighton's filth novel coincides 
with the opening in theaters around the 
country of the film version of his third, 
Funeral in Berlin, reviewed by вслувох 
this month. No details of Deighton's 
current fiction projects have been forth- 
coming from his supersccret lairs—a Geor- 
gian house in London's East. End and a 
villa in Portugal—bur we do know the 
F-yearold master chef and storyteller 
is continui 


g his researches for a factual 
world history of warfare. Pun 
ishes An Expensive Place to Die in book 
form later th 

Calvin also combines the 
skills of an indepth researcher with 
the talent of a storyteller: Elements of 
the New York popart scene in Tomki 
wryly horr Virginia, were picked 
up during his researches on the artists 
themselves, for a number of articles and 
for The Bride and the Bachelors, pub- 
lished by Viking in 1965. 

March articles by noted educator- 
author (Growing Up Absurd, Compul- 
sary Mis-Education, Five Years) Paul 
Goodman and popular sociologist Vance 
kard present twin faces of Amer 
life today. Packard's Executive Salaries 
ys it on the line about who gets the top 
dollar—and why—in the middle and 
upper echelons of the country's corporate 
structure. Accompanying it are two 
unique rrAvnoy charts, on опе of which 
you can pinpoint your present progr 
and future prospects: the second shows 
you where you should stand on the wage- 


m pub- 


c stos 


PLAYBOY, MARCH. 1967, VOLUME та 


SECOND CLASS POSTACE FAID Ат CHICAGO, 


AMD AT ADU TIORAL MAILING. OFTICES. 


age scale. Packard, of course, is the writer 
whose book titles (The Status Seekers, 
The Waste Makers) have become parts 
of the English language. Packard's article 
(his fourth for pravnoy) dovetails yet 
contrasts with The New Aristocrats, ап 
account by Goodm: hose September 
1964 PLAvmov piece, The Deadly Halls 
of Ivy, took our colleges to task—of the 
radically different values of a large pro: 
portion of the sons and daughters of the 
ation man. 

“Despite the downward trend of the 
market in recent months, my Red port- 
folio has remained steady, proving the 
basic soundness of my ideas." So says 
Mar Kitman, author of The First 
National Fiduciary Imperialist Trust Syn- 
dicate Cartel Pool Combine, а tongu 
in-checkily unorthodox scheme for the 
capture of the still-verymuch-alive mar- 
ket in garist Russian securities. Кітап”. 
ideas, while not always noted for their 
soundness, are wont to be original: As 
news-managing editor of Monocle maga- 
zine, he ran for President in 1964 on 
the 1864 Republican platform and was 
the author last year of The Number One 
Best Seller, 

Our Playboy Interview with Orson 
Welles was conducted by London critic 
Kenneth Tynan. who not long ago told 
one reporter that he once regarded 
Welles as a father figure when he, like 
Welles before him, was an intellectual 
boy wonder. Also herein to increase the 
pleasures of the year's gustiest month is 
ап extr ıt supply of March hares — 
led by the hutch honeys of the two 
(count "em, two) Playboy Clubs in the 
Show-Me State (The Bunnies of Missouri) 


—as well as a host of welcome PLAYBOY 
features, including a voluptuous Vargas 
girl and a Midwesterner's: exotically 


sumptuous Playboy Pad. Come on in 


IM TME U.S. зз FOR ONE YEAR. 


5 


vol. 14, no. 3—march, 1967 


PLAYBOY. 


GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N 
POSTAGE MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS: 
ANE TO BE RETURNED AND NO RESPONSIBILITY CAN 
TENIS COPYRIGHTED © 1967 ву нин PUSLISHING 
сен THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THE FICTION, 
AND SEMIFICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY REAL 
PEOPLE AND PLACES IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. 
CREDITS: COVER: MODEL NANCY CHAMBERLAIN, 
паа на MARVIN KONER. F 3: STAN МА. 


PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY нын PUBLISHING со. 
үнс, IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. 


ILL. вон. SECOND CLASS POSTAGE PAID AT CMI- 
Caco. н, AND AT ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: IM THE U, S., $8 FOR ONE YEAR. 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL. >= 5 
DEAR PLAYBOY... Е. 286 ИЕР — А} 

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS... s. Базе t 2619 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR E сок met eas ae |) 
PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK —travi ~ PATRICK CHASE 43 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM 45 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: ORSON WELLES—candid conversation See В 


COMET WINE—fiction...... — z RAY RUSSELL 66 


THE TATE GALLERY: PICTURES BY POLANSKI 


pictorial „то 
EXECUTIVE SALARIES—article ...... - VANCE PACKARD 75 


THE WITNESS —В 


ion. = HARRY MARK PETRAKIS 79 


А PLAYBOY PAD: EXOTICA IN EXURBIA—modern living. = зо 
THE FIRST NATIONAL FIDUCIARY CARTEL—humor.... MARVIN KITMAN 87 
THE NEW EDWARDIAN—sttire. se ROBERT L. GREEN 8 


STARS IN HER EYES—ployboy’s playmate of the month URL Ира: 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor...... Е ا‎ 96 
LEN DEIGHTON 100 
CALVIN TOMKINS 103 


AN EXPENSIVE PLACE TO DIE—fiction ооо 
VIRGINIA—fiction. т 

THE GROOMING GAME—accouterments 104 
THE LANGUAGE OF GALLIC GOURMANDISE—food ... THOMAS MARIO 109 
THE NEW ARISTOCRATS—opinion PAUL GOODMAN 110 
THE BUNNIES OF MISSOURI—pictorial essay z 4 112 
THE LADY'S TALE— 


ROOMS salire. 


ibald classic 123 


JULES FEIFFER 130 
142 


ON THE SCENE—porsonal 


HUGH м. HEFNER editor and publisher 
A. С. SPECTORSKY associate publisher and editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 


JACK J. KESSIE managing editor VINCENT T. TAJIRI picture editor 


SHILDON WAX assistant managing editor; MURRAY FISHER, NAT LEHRMAN senior 
editors; ROME MACAULEY fiction editor; JA: GOODE, ARTHUR  KRETCHMIR, 
MICHAEL LAURENCE associate edilors: KOBERT L- GREEN fashion directos AVID. TAYLOR 
associate fashion editor; THOMAS Manio food & drink editor; PATRICK CHASE travel 
editor; J. PAUL GETTY contributing editor, business & finance; CHARLES BEAUMONT, 
KEN w. PURDY contributing editors; ARLENE BOURAS сору chief: DAVID BUTLER, JONN 
GANREE, LAWRENCE LINDERMAN, CARL SNYDER, DAVID STEVENS, ROGER WIDENER, ROBERT 
WISON assistant edilors; REV CHAMBERLAIN associate picture editor; MARILYN 
Granowski assistant picture cdilor; MARIO CASILLI, LARRY CORDON, J. BARRY 
O'ROURKE, POMPEO POSAR, ALEXAS URIA, JERRY YULSMAN staff photographers; 
STAN MALINOWSKE contributing photographer; кома» BLUME associate art 
direclor; NORM SCHAEFER, JOSEPH PACZEK assisianl arl directors; WALTER 
KRADENVEH ан assistant; JOUN мазо production manager; ALLEN VARGO 
assistant production manager; vat PAPPAS rights and permissions + HOWARD 
w. Leener advertising director; JULES KASE asociate advertising manager; 
SHERMAN KEATS chicago advertising manager; josten GUENTHER detroit adver- 
tising manager: NELSON ruten promotion director; ивъмето vous pub- 
icity manager; вехху puss public relations manager; ANSON MoUXT public 
affairs manager; THEO FREDERICK personnel director; JANET MLERM reader 
service; ммм WIEMOLD subscription fulfillment manager; ELDON SVLLERS spe- 
cial projects; ROBERT s. rREUss business manager and circulation director, 


zt 


Photo by Ardean R. Miller Ш 


One suggested daytime zetivity on Rose Island. 


Is this any way for a grown man to spend a vacation 


Yes. But not the only way. Not when 
you can see Paradise Island from water skis 
or Nassau from a motor scooter. Not when 
you can explore the ocean floor scuba 
diving. Or fish where world records are 
broken each year. Why, island-hopping 
alone could be worth all your time. And 
Bahama weather is sailing weather twelve 
months of the year. 

At night you might indulge in some 
adult games. Go “over the hill” after hours 
to a native club. Fall into a limbo line. 
Dance to goombay drums. Empty a mug of 
rum punch as you watch a barefooted dance 


Bahama & Islands 


in the Bahamas? 


on hot coals, Warning: you may not get 
home until morning. But you can sleep late. 
Ormakeit back to thebeach to finish that tan. 
Why wait for a vacation like this? The 
Bahamas are 2% air hours from New York. 
Passports? Visas? Who needs them? Not 
USS. citizens. Just some proof of citizen- 
ship. Your Travel Agent knows. Mail us the 
coupon and we'll send you a booklet full of 
grown-up ideas for a Bahama vacation. 


BY SEA: From New Yor! 
cruises from S210. Home 
N.Y. From Miami—S.S. E 


5.5. Oceanic sails Sats. 7-day 
New York. 


J. Box 598. Biscayne Е 


Please sord free vacation 
literature to: 


Name 


Street. 


City. 


State. Zip Code. 


РТ 


Mercury announces a royal 
E J 


This is America’s newest car—Mercury Cougar XR-7. See it at your Mercury dealer's today. 


new Си called the XR- 7! 


Just arrived! Euro; тыт elegance comes to Cougar Country in Mercury's 

ft glove leather! Walnut-grained vinyl panels. Dials 
you can read! ( Ove d console! Hidden headlights! Powerful V-8 
engine. And а// as standard equipment. Come drive Cougar XR-7— 
the first popular-priced luxury sports car that's customized for you. 


] 


Walker’s DeLuxe Bourbon 


THE ELEGANT 8 YEAR OLD 


Featured bourbon т famous clubs around the world STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY + 86.8 PROOF + HIRAM WALKER & SONS INC., PEORIA, ILL. 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


E] ioosess РЦУВОУ MAGAZINE + PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


CHRISTMAS SPIRIT 
Your Christmas issue was out of sight. 
Keep it up. 
George V. Courtney П 
Indiana State University 
Terre Haute, Indiana 


Because of a сепа restricted Boston- 
kedbean'seye view of the world, I 
had always dismissed PrAvnoy as an ab- 
surd porpourri of booze, broads and bally 
hoo, thrown together for a fast buck, 
Imagine my surprise and. pleasure to find 
you as alive in the library as in the 
bedroom! In your Christmas issue. 1 expe 


cally liked the Baldwin-Schulberg dia- 
log, the Sammy Davis interview and. 
the lener from Barry Goldwater (and. 


your answer) in the Dear Playboy col- 
umn. Barrys honesty about enjoying 
PLAYBOY appeals to me as much as 
PLAYBOY's honesty in setting the record 
straight оп Barry 

Clyde Martin 

Chelmsford, Massachusetts 


GOLDEN WORDS 

Hany Golden's God Bless the Gentile 
(December) was one of the best articles 
PLAVBOY has ever published. It said more 
than 1 ever expected to see printed in 
society. E certainly admire 
тийп to pub 


a "gentile 


PLAY Boy's Courage in cont 
lish controversial material. 

Anthony Marks 

La Grande, Oregon 


Thank you very much for Hany Gold. 
en's God Bless the Gentile. The article 
was blunt and honest and a great service 
to both Jew and gentile. 

I have only Anti. 
Semitism—both ancient and modern—has 
specific roots in the educational materials 
generally available to the reading public. 
That there is a Jewish history from 70 
A.D. 10 the present is barely conceded by 
most histories of Western civilization; 
this despite the labors of severa 
standing Jewish historians, Even Arnold 
Toynbee was unable to overcome what 
seems to be a builtin academic resist- 
ance to Jewish history. From this flows 
Golden's observation that Jews are “таг: 
ginal.” My point is that Jews аге mar- 
ginal only theoretically: in reality, they 


one criticism: 


1 out 


have always participated in the life ol 
whatever country in which they happened 
10 be living. 
Jonathan P. Siegel 
Department of Near Eastern 
and Judaic Studies 
Brandeis University 
Waltham, Massachusetts 


BALDWIN-SCHULBERG DIALOG 
James Baldwin and Budd Schulberg’s 
Dialog in Black and White (December) 
was the best discussion of civil. rights 
that гелувоу has ever published. 
Robert Ahlstrom 
Tempe, Arizona 


As long as our economy continues to 
grow as rapidly as it has, the American 
Negro has little hope of gaining his just 
rights as a citizen. He is today, as he was 
originally, a source of cheap, unskilled 
labor. As Baldwin said, the situation is 
not only a social dilemma but onc of vast 
economic implications. 

John Merrill 

San Francisco, California 


The December dialog between James 
Baldwin and Budd Schulberg was one of 
the finest велувоу pieces of 1966. I have 
only one criticism: Baldwin stated that 
the Jewish people were the only immi 
grants to preserve their old heritage in 
their new surroundings. It seems 10 me 
that Baldwin has considered Judaism as 


a race rather than as a religion. Judaism. 
ay defined by Webster, is the Jewish reli 


ion. While most immigrant groups did 
not retain their original racial customs 
many did keep their religions. 

Bob Goldman 
Culver, Indiana 


The 


was a 


entire Baldwin-Schulbag dialog 
muddle of dialectic nonsense, 1 
was impressed thar so little could be 
stretched out 10 fill eight pages. 

Chris Vidnjevich, Captain 
American Nazi 

Chicago, Illinois 


1 have just finished reading Dialog in 
Black and White. Y sums up in an clo 
quent manner the basic issues dividing 
all Americans today. The further I read 
the article, the more convinced I. became 


AND CANADA, $20 FOR THALE YEARS, $15 FOR TWO YEAR 


MY SIN 


...а Most 


provocative perfume ! 


LANVIN 


the bat Faris has to offer 


bottled and packaged in France 


11 


PLAYBOY 


12 


We sailed the seven seas to 
bring you this swashbuckling 
new scent. What else could we 
eall it? SEVEN SEAS. 


brisk and buoyant cologne — 
cool-as-the-ocean after shave lotion 
all-purpose tale 

deodorant shower bar soap. 


©1966 Seven Seas Division — Fabergé Inc. 


that this was “must” reading for my stu- 
dents in introductory sociology here at 
Stephens College. 
Dr. Larry M. Perkins 
Department of Social Science 
Stephens College 
Columbia, Missouri 


FERRARI FAN 

Stirling Moss’ detailed and colorful 
description of Henri Baigen's model 
cu (The Incredible Shrinking Ferrari, 
December) was very impres- 
sive. Even knowing nothing about auto 
mechanics. one couldn't help but admire 
igent’s talent. His only mistake was in 
charging 512,600 for the model. That was 
much too cheap. 


PLAYBOY, 


Stephen Smith 
‘Tempe, Arizona 


BUCKING THE MACHINE 
Brooks Айк The IBM and I 
(December) has struck а responsive note 


son's 


—at least among Atkinson’s human com- 
Atkinson may appreciate а 
custom my husband and I inaugurated a 
few years back. When ап IBM card 
commands: "Do not write in this space,” 
we always add—in the designated space 
—the gentle reminder, “please.” 

Mrs. Donna Martin 

Williamsport, Pennsylvania 


municants. 


I have just finished folding, stapling. 
spindling and mutilating the phony IBM 
card that accompanied Brooks Atkinson's 
fine article. It was wonderful therapy. 

Mrs. Donald Gatzke 
Aberdeen, South Dakota 


POLYNESIAN PLAUDITS 

Your pictorial essay The Girls of Tahiti 
(December) reinforced the memories of 
perhaps the fincst time of my life. 1 was 
luck 


enough to spend three passionate 
weeks in Tahiti—and the surrounding 
isles—during the summer of 1964. No 
photographs (not even yours!) could do 
justice to the wild, natural beauties of this 
South Sea paradise. Everything is refresh- 
ingly delicious about the archipel 
—from the Hinano beer and parsley 
buuered tournedos to the seductively 
curved honcy-brown flesh of the Poly- 
Your 
and honest attitudes 
toward sex that permeate French Poly- 
nesia, Alas, the Sexual Freedom League 
is 4100 miles behind the times. 

Paul Е. Perret 
Northwestern Univer 
Evanston, Illinois 


hesian women. article justly em- 


phasized the casui 


ity 


"The article on The Girls of Tahiti was 
a bit of the greatest—a thousand times 
better than Г ever thought someone who 
had not lived here for several years could 
do. How in hell your writer did it ГП 
never know. I had been under the impres- 


sion that you had to live with the uahines 
to figure them out—dodging flying scissors 
nd taking К. O. punches 
night. PLAYnoY 


every mornin 


at parties every Frid, 

has published what I consider a classic 

article on the girls here. Congratulations. 
E. Buzz Miller, Editor 
Echoes of Polynesia 


Papcete, i 
L PRAISE 
taken the rhyme pattern of 


Silversu 


Shel 


пә Jaded to express my 
response го Silverstein’s Songbook in your 
December issue: 


1 lwe magazines and read them all 

Some are deadly and some just pall 

But “Silverstein’s Songbook” is al 
ways a ball 

He may be hirsute but he's sure not 
Jaded! 


My thanks and my high hopes for all 
that is rrAvBoY! 
Sammy Cahn 
Beverly Hills, California 
Lyricist Cahn is the co-author (with 
Jimmy Van Heusen) of such Academy 
ard—winning songs as “All the Way” 
(1957), “High Hopes” (1959) and “Call 
Me Irresponsible” (1963). 


FANNY FA 
We've just finished laughing our way 
through the December Little Annie Fan 


ny, and we've got to admit that she's 
now our favorite cartoon character 
However, we think you should not pub 
lish her during final exams. After all, if 
there's a choice to be made between 
studying the history of architecture and 
reading Annies satirical shenanigans, 
she wins hands down. 
Dale Leichsenring 
Mike Meier 
State University 
‚ Iowa 


low 


Am 


SUPREME COURT VERDICT 

While Nat Hentoffs article (The Su- 
preme Court, pLaynoy, November) con- 
cerned the decisions of the Warren 
it wisely related them to Ше 
stream of constitutional de- 
velopment. There is a myth that we have 
а judgment of laws and not of men. But 
any tyro law student knows that law 
fashioned by a Holmes or a Brandeis is 
quite different from law fashioned by a 
McReynolds or a Sutherland, 

Hentoffs article should be required 
reading for those who are not afraid to 
live in a free society. 

Morris Ploscowe 
New York, New York 

Former judge Ploscowe, currently Ad- 
junct Associate Professor of Law at New 
York University, and the author of nu- 
merous legal texts, has been quoted. fre- 
quently in “The Playboy Philosophy. 


Court, 
American 


IN BEER, 
GOING FIRST CLASS 
IS | B. 


© MICHELOB 


BEER 


u 
cologne 
uncorks 


е 
lusty life. 


Pub cologne and after-shave. 


Created for men by Revlon. 


I received а copy of the issue of 
PLAYBOY containing your article about 
the Supreme Court, which I read with 
interest 

Justice Hugo L. Black 
Supreme Court of the United States 
Washington, D. C. 


Nat Hentoff is to be commended for 
his probing artide on the Supreme 
Court. Never have J read a piece on the 
Warren Court that went into such depth 


and that gave such clear explanations. 

By the time I finished reading и. I felt as 

if I knew each of the Justices personally. 
Richard Tate, Jr. 


Memphis, Tennessee 


FAVORITE SLEUTHS 
1 have read in your December issue 
the article My Favorite Sleuths, by 
Kingsley Amis, Who is Kingsley Amis? 
Manfred B. Lee 
Roxbury, Connecticut 
For readers wondering, "Who is Man. 
fred В. Lec": He is half of the Ellery 
Queen collaboration. As those of you 
who haven't read the December article 
may have guessed, Ellery Queen wasn't 
one of the “Favorite Sleuths” to whom 
Kingsley (“The James Bond Dossier") 
Amis devoted most of his space. 


Kingsley Amis tells us Dashiell Ham 
men ladled out low-budget 
this the same Hammett whom André 
Gide praised in his journals, saying 
Hemingway and Faulkner would be 
hard put to write better dialog than was 
contained in Red Harvest, The Thin 
Man and The Maltese Falcon? 15 this the 
same Hammett who prompted. Raymond 
Chandler to enthuse: “He did what 
every first-rate novelist tries 10 do: He 
wrote scenes that seemed never to have 
been writen before”? 

Poor Hammeu. Few writers could 


dialog. Is 


words together as well as Ве 
could. 

M. J. Gregory 

Los Angeles, California 


PEARL BUCK AS ANGEL 

Many thanks for the interesting arti 
cles and stories published in your 
splendid December — issue—especially 
Women as Angels, by Pearl Buck, 10 
whom I raise my glass in apprec 
her courageous a 


tion of 


kl humorous presenta- 
tion of the truth, 
Fred W. Hemsley 
Long Beach, California 


God bless Pearl Buck—she solved a 
problem for me. 1 was going to get a di- 
vore because 1 could not please my 
husband, no matter how hard T tried; 
and believe me, 1 tried. 1 thought every 
man needed an ar 


el, a subbuman 
creature to cater to his every whim, 


instantly and completely. This, in my 
mind, was what made the perfect mar 
ri id that was all 1 wanted. Pearl 
Buck's Women as Angels showed me 
y be able to handle 
n't live with her. A blood 


that while a man m 


an angel, he с 


and-guts woman, yes, but not an an 
To live with an 
to become God—and much as I dig 
them, I don’t think they're ready for that 
You should see my husband now that 
I've become me. He can't understand it 
but he loves it. 
Muriel Price 
Albuquerque, New Mexico 


sel, man would have 


MUGGERIDGE MUGGED 

L sincerely believe that almost no 
one reads Muggeridge (December). Other- 
wise, how could he perpetrate such pro- 
vocative, early—18th Century euphemisms 
in print and get away with it? Blithely 
tossing off nonenlightening self-illumina 
tions, he curmudgconly hobbles his 
lonely way down the up escalator 

The “explosion” that Muggeridge 
senses but can't quite pinpoint is simply 


а shattering of the myths that have 
kept the human mind locked in fear for 


so long. Man now realizes that there is 


no purpose, no grand design and utterly 
no r He is now totally 
are of the fact that еар best— 
must be described as а crude and cruel 
hoax. The best we can do is to put off the 
pain for as long as possible. 

Miss Toni Holmstock 

New York, New York 


son for be 


WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS 

Thank you for using Herbert D; 

son's illustration of Don Tomas with 

Robert Ruark’s fine December story, Яс 

a 

1 

ly captures man in hîs constant search 

for identity, for freedom and for peace. 
Jon Todd 

Gainesville, Florida 


id 


cidentally Good. Never have 1 зо 


picture that so completely and graphi 


WHAT SORT OF MAN? 

You might be interested in learning 
just how widely read pLaysoy is: While 
on “Operation Thayer” in the central 
highlands of South Vietnam, a platoon 
from A Company, ?nd P 
Cavalry, Ist Cavalry Divisio 


nalion, 5th 


(airmobile) 
was going through and destroying some 
Viet Cong bunkers. What do you think 

That's right—a September 
praywoy. And this was before most of us 
Yanks had received our copies. I guess 
you should add a picture of “Charlie” to 
vour ads about what sort of man reads 


PLAYBOY. 


they found 


William C. Eddins 
FPO San Francisco, California 


What a catch! 

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Sweet for captivating Manhattans. 
Extra Dry for prize Martinis. 


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MINE) GILL BAILEY 
TOO MANY HIVERS 


(2. Denpet OF Raves, 
Gandy Kisses, | Can't 
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TEL Меза sarai im 
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00. Wine, Woman And 
Song. Loose Тай, This 
Haunted House, ete. 


38. Vintage Heifetz, 
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Now you can choose from this greatest array of hit 
records in Club history? Not only outstanding albums 
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have a really tremendous choice of albums from all 
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хо join! Enjoy sensational hits straight from the best- 
seller charts! Right now, you can take any FOUR: 
ALL FOR ONLY 99¢! What's more, you can start 
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You Choose Every THIRO Record FREE! 


As an active member, you continually get FREE 
RECOKDS-ore free tor every iwo you buy after 

filing iral membership. Plus а FREE” SUB- 
CRIPTION по the Musie Guide, the Club's Tas- 
inating monthly magazine Jor members only? Plus 
2 big extra benefit: the opportunity to order best. 


You Need NOT Buy a Record Every Month! 


With trial membership, you merely agree to buy as 
few as four more records within a year at regular 
Club prices: usually $3.79 or $4.79; $1 more for 
Stereo: with a small shipping-service charge added to 
each order. You need NOT accept a record every 
month, Choose the Club selection, any one of more 
than 250 alternates—or no record at all that month! 
Take your pick of RCA Victor, Decca, Coral. Lon- 
don, Atlantic, Atco, Deutsche Grammophon and 
mary other world-famed labels! Choose records in 
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chargc- but only ajter you receive your records. after 


selling "GUEST STAR" ALBUMS . . - featuring vou start enoying them. Absolutely no risk! if not 
headline artists of other record clubs. other record delighted, return the records within 10 days. and 
labels. These great albums are yours, if you wish, [orget the matter. You'll pay us nothing, you'll owe 


Jor as little as $2.39 vith а regular Club purchase 
Plus exciting special sales and extra bargains 
throughout the year! 


us nothing! YOU decide! Pick your FOUR records 
пом, write their numbers on the postpaid card, de- 
tach it and mail without money TODAY! 


TMKIS) © RADIO CORPORATION OF AMERICA 


THE BEST OF 


170,Bestothebest Be 


Сага Choosing, 
Tango Warsaw Concerta, 


5 
Broadway cast sing Helo 
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gems lor 
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RECORD 

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Kate Smith 
ааш ар 
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TIS reattronpet shen 
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Той Never Ком. не. 


71. ман And Oy, дн 
umo Leaves, Deep Par- 
bie As Tima Goes By et. 


STEREO or Regular Hi-Fi 


Worth up to $23.16 at regular Club prices. 
You merely agree to buy as few as four more records 
within a year at regular Club prices. 


Records marked © are electronically reprocessed lor stereo, 


ЗИ, Lonely Carner, Only 
foung. Since I Don't 
Have You, more, 


B61. Tile hit, 1 Missed 
ме в N Really Over, Los- 
img Your Love et, 


NEIL ВЕАКА 5 


‘GREATEST 
P 

тешу м 

[7 

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768. T melodies d ro. 
mance: Fly Me To The 
Moon, P Get By, ee, 


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Angel, Oh cara, Little 
Вей, ant others. 


35), SSA. Mata, Day 
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otters. counts as 2 


дан 
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TOOTSIE 
BABY FACE СШ 

603. My Gal Sal, lsbany 
Souad, You Made Me 
иелш € 


214 Her bestselling at 
dun! Thou Swell, The 
Lady ts ATrom, е. 


58. From A hack To A 
King, Happiness, Best 
less ond others. 


i=" 
868, Title song, Would 
You Hold It Against Ме. 
Fai Weather Lover, ete. 


798. County star sings 
Enpty Ата, Love В Na 
Excuse, others. 


ТВ. bit interpre 
{ation by Lespald Sto- 
kowski. Vibrant sound! 


EDDY ARNOLD 
My 
Worl 


365, Tos Many Rivers, m. 
Letting ou Ga, What's He 
Diing и My World, te, 


RCA VICTOR 
Record Club 


...top stars...top hits 
top tabels! 


‘860, Тор collection of 
sov songs sung bysit of 
the greatest. 


76), Hotstar sings 123, 
Yon Baby, Wi You Lowe 
Me Tonetrow te, 


PLAYBOY 


18 


You don’t have to own a 
hunk of Fort Knox to af- 

ford a GT that will turn 
heads wherever you go. Not any 
more. Not when you can have the 
MGB/GT with all its trappings for 
even less than you'd pay for a domes- 
tic fat-cat medium-size. 

But make no mistake. This British- 
bred GT is more than just a show- 
piece. Its dual-carb 1798 cc. engine 
can deliver smooth power to keep you 
cruising all day at 70 (plus enough 
reserve to top 105 if need be). 


The new MGB/GT looks and handles 


like a $6,000 machine. 
At $4,000 it would be a real buy. 


With competition-proved suspen- 
sion, rack-and-pinion steering, and 
self-adjusting disc brakes to help. 
you handle any situation as if you 
were part professional driver. 

And, to top it off, the new MGB/GT 
acts as though “luxury” and "stand- 
ard" were synonymous. Standard 
bits include leather-upholstered 
bucket seats (plus occasional rear 
seats). Full instrumentation includ- 
ing tachometer. Padded, no-glare 
dash with map reading light. Elec- 
tric windshield wipers. Windshield 


washer. 60 spoke wire wheels. 
Enough carpeted luggage space for 
a year's supply of champagne for you 
and your favorite lady. And sound- 
proofing so you can practically hear 
her heart flutter. 

So, if you want to turn heads in 
general (or one in particular), the new 
MGB/GT is for you. Get MG magic in 
this exciting new shape at your near- 
est MG/Austin-Healey dealer. 

And don't tell any of your friends 
itcost you just $3,095.* 

They'll never guess. 


"EAST COAST P.0.E. FOR OVERSEAS DELIVERY AND OTHER INFORWATICN. WRITE: THE BRITISH MOTOR CORP. / HAMBRO, INC., DEPT. ле, 734 GRAND AYENUE, RIOGEFIELD, NEW JERSEY 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


ther journals have commented on 
spread suspiciousness that conspiracies— 
local, national and international—are all 
about us, and that no action, however 
simpleseeming or staightlorward in its 
announced or apparent iment, may be 
ken at face valuc, Partly а reflection 
of general anxiety, partly the cynicism 
of the frightened and ignorant, who 
explain the world to themselves in terms 
of dark plots, this paranoid posture leads 
to some quite ingenious mythmaki 
such as the now-famous Birchite 
tion that Dwight Eisenhower, as Presi- 
«lent, was a conscious tool of international 


communism. 

For those who may be feeling abnor 
mally normal; ie., left out of things by 
dint of not being able to subscribe to 
most of the conspiracy myths in current 
circulation, we ойсг the solace of a new 


game, which is to make up myths all 
own, not in terms of credibility (we 
hear there's a gap in that department 
anyway) but as illustrative examples of 
that special brand of ingeniousness that 
fits the paranoid pattern. As a starter, 
here are ten: 

1. Freedom marches are not just one 
aspect of the civil rights movement, nor 
are they part of the Communist conspir- 
acy (that’s not an original myth, so it's 
disallowed by the rules of the game). 
They are the nefarious work of the Shoe 
Manufacturers’ Association plotting to 


one’ 


increase shoe sales to the underprivi- 
leged. That's why they hired some red- 
necks to shoot Mrs. Liuzzo—she was 
driving. 

2. The same group, through its Wash- 
ington lobby, is trying to legislate sit-ins 
out of existence. 

8. Ralph Nader has no interest what- 
ever in auto safety; he was subsidized by 
a vicious cabal of automobile manufac- 
turers, oil companies and tire manufac- 
turers to write a book ostensibly against 
them, which would distract the public's 
attention from the fact th. 


t this group is 
responsible for airports’ being so far away 
from major cities in the United States. 


4. The candle and kerosene interests, 
in their desperate and losing battle with 
the electric power cartel, foisted daylight 
saving time on an unsuspecting public, 
under the secret slogan “By God, if we 
go under, we'll take the electric compa- 
nies with us by depriving them daily, 
all summer long, of the profits from one 


zillion kilowatt hours of electric light 
usage.” 
5. They also worked behind the 


scenes with the previously named auto. 
motive conspirators to subvert municipal 
officials into dispensing with electric trol 
ley cars in favor of buses, unaware of the 
public backlash that finds its expression 
in the turning on of electric lights when 
the busproduccd smog gets thick. 

6. Credit cards were invented by 
the International Association of Bill 
Collectors. 

7. As is well known, all big-city news- 
papers feature lurid crime news not just 
to build circula but to stimulate 
budding criminals to "go thou and do 
likewise," so as to kecp the raw materi- 
circulation-building crime 


ion, 


als for 
flowing 

8. The movie industry apparat annual 
ly bribes TV networks to broadcast such 
atrocious programs that old movies will 
be the best [are offered and the price for 
them will go up accordingly 

9. William F. Buckley, Jr. is secretly 
paid vast sums of tax-free cash by the 
Democratic National Committee to con- 
tinue with his TV show and thus pre 


news 


vent oth 


intellectuals from supporting 
conservative candidates. 

10. Finally 
the foregoing is that we've been bribed 
by the National Association of Psychi 
atrists to keep paranoia alive. 


Our reason for printing 


Kinky classified ad 
England. newspaper 
typist measuring 42. 


from a Suffolk, 
Wanted: desk for 
By 


New York's junior Senator may lose 
the state's vote if he 


doesn’t Iearn the difference between рог 


entire 


hippie 


and acid. Commenting on a New Yor 
World Journal Tribune article concern 
ing "В.Е. КА Takeover of New York,” 
Senator Kennedy remarked, “Someone 
must have been smoking LSD. 


Sign of the times spotted outside San 
Francisco's Christian Yoga Church and 
Himalayan Academy reads: CHARGEA- 
TIPHE-—YOUR BANKAMERICA CARD WEL- 
COME HERE. 

Gourmet teat from Binghamton, New 
York's Evening Press, recommended for 
mornings when your head is larger than 
your appetite: “Using back of a large 
spoon, press spaghetti into cup; break a 


fresh egg imo the indention; sprinkle 
with grated oven until egg is done as de- 
sired and cheese slightly melted. Serve 
not." 


The Village Voice reports that МОС 
is distributing bumper stickers through: 
out the Cotton State that contain a dou 
ble of wath: тик 


s GOVERNOR OF 
ALABAMA IS A MOTHER: 
According to Appliance Manufac- 


turers, a Chicago trade journal, the sales 
department of a local housewares com- 
pany “had great qualms about filling a 
special order that came from New Guinea 
for a dozen ‘man-sized rotisscries. ™ 


Shocking news: Infidelity is curable, 
according to British psychiatrists 
who tried our an electrifying new kind of 
therapy оп: thful husband and 
published their findings in Pulse, a Brit 
ish medical journal. The husband was 
shown alternating pictures of his wile 
and his mistress, 30 minutes a day for six 
days. Each time the picture of his mis 
tress appeared, he was zapped with a 70- 
volt electric shock, and cach time his 
wile’s picture appeared, he was advised 
of the harm his illic 
Six 


two 


| има 


v 


tape recorde 
affair was doing the poor woman 


19 


PLAYBOY 


20 


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after shave... 
after shower... 
after hours... 
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а 


ALL-PURPOSE 
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GIFT SETS in authentic redwood boxes, 
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€ MEM COMPANY, INC., NORTHVALE, N.J. 


“Leather: 


(ЕНИ n vesso 


we uncovered a 
Deep in Dixie мещ 


playboy pastime— The Bac 


4 the essence of simplic 
ns ша 


RIPPED FROM 
PLAYBOY. APRIL 1959 


raro 
This Bacardi Party is something else. Seven years old, and 
it’s still the biggest thing since the hula hoop! Why not? 
As you old timers know, a Bacardi Party is a piece of cake. 
You supply all the mixes you can dream up. And guests 


Sound 


Just send $1.25 for the official Bacardi 
Party record (mono or stereo). It swings! 


The One Brand Party 


©ВАСАВО! IMPORTS, INC., 2100 BISCAYNE BLVD,, MIAMI, FLA. RUM BO PROOF 


Tlasbos" is trademark of, awd used with permission of. HL M. Н. Publishing Co.. Ine. 


the HAIR DRESSING, $1.50 


brilliant appearance as С 
—when all the principals jell so well into 


months later, the psychiatrists found that 
the man was “completely indifferent” to 
the woman who had been his mistress 


Confirming our deepest 


incss s 


suspicions 
les, a Times 
are store placed in its window a sign 
reading: OUR GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALI 
WILL RESUME AFTER VACATION. 


about going out of bu 


Ask a Silly Question Department: In 
his reply to а probation officer's demand 
for a written explanation of his delin 
quency, a precocious Seattle teenager 
wrote, "In any given set of circum 
stances, our actual behavior is represented 
hy the diagonal of a parallelogram of 
forces having our more elemental cmo- 
tions as a base and, as its upright, our 
ethical or moral ideals When І was 
arrested. for car prowling, the ethical 
upright was so short that the angle be- 
tween the long base and the di 


al of 
manifested behavior was of only a very 
few degrees.” 


One of the selections on a jukebox in a 
Hibbing. Minnesota, restaurant a few 
months ago, claims a local informant, 
was Love Position Number Nine, 


Plum job offer Irom the classified 
pages of the Chicago Tribune: “вугиилз 
ERADICATION FROGKAM. We need people 
who want immediate job involvement, 
unique and difficult assignments. 
This is nor a desk job. 
A University of Miami student was 
recendy reclassified БА by his local 
draft board with the explanation that “to 
keep your deferment, you must bc 
ranked in the top two thirds of your 


class, 
fourth. 


ad you are only in the top one 


MOVIES 


A Man for All Seasons was a fine play. It 
is, if anything. a better movie. For 
producerdirector Fred Zinnemann has 
lleshed out the Tudor setting but has let 
Robert Boll's play. adapted by the play 
wright, survive. In the part of Sir Thom 
as More, “A 
singular learning 
mirth and pastimes, and sometimes of as 


man of angel's wit and 


. a man of marvelous 


sad gravity—a. man for all seasons,” is 
that magical wedding of actor and role 


that won Р; 


ıl Scofield so many plaudits 


on the boards. His perlormance is a dra 


matic event ol the [ust magnitude—but 
when enhanced by Wendy Hiller as his 


wile, by Susannah York as his daughter 
by Robert Shaw 


s Henry УШ, by Leo 
McKern ах Thomas Cromwell and 
notably. by Orson Welles in his brief and 
rdinal Wolsey 


most 


зь 


` COLUMBIAT | 


STEREO TAPE 


$ 


FOR 
ONLY 


FREE поток 


SELF-THREADING TAKE-UP REEL 


now offers you 


ANY 5 


STEREO TAPES 


097 


if you join the Club now and agree to purchase 
as few as 5 selections in the next 12 months 
from the more than 200 to be offered 


Ti You Can Believe. 
Your Eyes and Ears 
THE MAMAS AND 
THE PAPAS 


CLUB 


HAPPINESS 15 
RAY СОНМ | 
Ta SINGERS 

ara ORCHESTRA 
‘Blue Moon 


г Day, АМ 


e 


EUGENE OF 


2505. Alse: Do You 
Wanna Dance, Span- 
иһ Harlem, 


2:07. Where Am 1 
Сап, C'est Se Bor. 
Yesterdays. etc. 


бау 
oy, 


2398. Also. Melodie 
D'Amour, 
Farewell, ele. 


THE SUPREMES 


{ear A Symptom 
Plus му Worlds Enets 


2417. Aiso: Yester- 


2217. Glittering per- 
formances of these 
ео charming works 


2225. Also: Jane 
Tone: The Rising ol 
The moon; ete 


2077. sso. Willow 
Weep ForMe,Frenesi, 
TryTo Remersher, ete. 


Jamaica 


Todays Golden Nits 
ANDRE KOSTELANETZ 


нивоа You 


1037. “The most ad. 
venturaus musical 
ever табе" Lite 


335. Plus: A Taste 
ОГ Honey. Unchained 
Melody, Mame, ete. 


MY FAIR LADY 


"perce impact 
momentum." 
World-Telegram 


‘One Stormy Night 


THE MYSTIC MOODS 
ORCHESTRA 


Unchained Мей 


ane 
12 узи, NY. 


THE 
IMPOSSIBLE 
OREAM 
AUDREY 

ГИ EEG 


2411. "WM is a bril 
Mant. composition. 


=St. touis Globe cus, 


Aa 


Just drop the end of the tape 
over the reel, start your record- 
er. and watch it thread itself! 
Unique Scoich® process auto- 
matically threads up tape of any 
thickness, releases freely on re- 
wind, 


Are Made 
{or Walkie! 


p] 
2462. iso: We can 


Work И Dui, Dance. 
Wat Me, 8 more 


3559 Alga: А Corner 


in The Sun, Kome- 
ward Bound, 8 more 


HERE'S A FABULOUS OFFER from the 
world-famous Columbia Stereo Tape 
Club. . . an exceptional offer that allows 
you to build an outstanding collection of 
‘superb steren tapes at great savings! 
Yes, by joining now you may have 
ANY FIVE of the magnificently recorded 
Atrack stereo tapes described here — 
sold regularly by the Club for up to 
$46.75 — for only $2.97! 
TO RECEIVE YOUR 5 PRE-RECORDED 
STEREO TAPES FOR ONLY $2.97 — simply 
fill in and mail the coupon at the right, 
Be sure to indicate the type of music 
in which you are mainly interested: 
Classical or Popular. 
HOW THE CLUB OPERATES: Each month 
the Club's staff of music experts chooses 
a wide variety of outstanding selections. 
These selections are described in the 
entertaining and informative Club maga- 
zine which you receive free each month. 
You may accept the monthly selec- 
tion for the field of music in which you 
аге primarily interested. . . ог take any 
of the wide variety of other tapes of- 
fered by the Club . . . or take NO tape 
in any particular month. 


uoo Serien 
RICHARD. 
RILEY 


T 


2635 "The best mu: 2159. Also: The 
sical score of "8$. Night We Called It 
Am. Record Gude A Day, ett. 


JAMES BROWN 
Plays New Breed 


OSCAR PETERSON 
» ES ione 


2661 
Walk, Jabo, Hooks, 
Fat Fag. 5 mere 


Also: Slow 2405 Also. Walkin" 


My Baby Back Home, 


Untorgettabie, etr. tion: 


Your only membership obligation is to 
purchase 5 additional tapes from the 
more than 200 to be offered in the com- 
ing 12 months. Thereafter, you have по 
further obligation to buy any additional 
tapes . . . and you may discontinue your 
membership at any time. 


FREE TAPES GIVEN REGULARLY. If you 
wish to continue as a member after ful- 
filling your membership agreement, you 
will receive — FREE — а 4-track stereo 
tape of your choice for every two addi- 
tional tapes you buy from the Club. 

The tapes you want are mailed and 
billed to you al the regular Club price 
of $7.95 (occasional Original Cast re- 
cordings somewhat higher), plus a small 
nailing and handling charge. 


SEND NO MONEY —Just mail the coupon 
today to receive your self-threading take- 
up reel free, and your five pre-recorded 
Atrack stereo tapes for only $2.97! 


Note. 
си 


M tapes offered by the 
st be played back on 
stereo equipment. 


COLUMBIA STEREO TAPE CLUB - Terre Haute, Indiana 


2435. Also: Since 1 
Feil For vou, Sparta: 


ete Smile, 12 in all Acadeny Awards tence awaits you. 
ГУИ (тне нит souno оғ] | TCHAIKOVSKY: 
GOLDEN HITS DEAN THE NUTCRACKER 
MARTIN SWAN LAKE (Suites 
те A milion ORMANDY 
xt and Ore 
Shades 


2276. Also: Kansas 
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the quiet precision of the total work. it is 
impossible to know whom to credit most 
Unless, perhaps. it be Sir Thomas More 
himself, who has been the perplexir 
subject of historians, philosophers and 
theologians for more than four centuries 
More's dispute with Henry involved. по 
clash of swords, no martial music. Henry 
was determined to divorce Catherine of 
Aragon, his first wile, to marry Anne Во: 
Icyn. Not ошу lust but dynasty was а 

issue, and if the Pope would not divorce 
him. Henry was resolved to eres 
English Church to do it. More. Lord 
Chancellor of England, could not accept 
this device. And although far from a 
willing martyr, he could not be swayed 
from his silent opposition—not by the 
pressure of the 


nor by the loss of 
d power noi 


of those who loved h 
s abstruse and quicksilverish 
as More could make it, and Zinnemann 
was hard put to accommodate such cere 
bral stuff lo the camera’s demands. He is 
not always successlul. A speech. delivered 
into pelting rain against a background 


of stom-tossed tees is not а better 
speech for its agitated setting What 
were they all doing outside on a night 
like that anyway? Bur such lapses are 
rare, noticeable only because they con- 
trast so sharply with the success of the 
whole. The regal quality of the photog 
raphy is enough to turn General De 
aulle into ап Anglophile. There ts a 


ogress of royal barges, at first seen 
BEOR в: 


only as reflections in the water, a dance 
of golden lights and diamond points in 
the ripples of the Thames. which ex 
preses in one stroke the full extent of 
the earthly pomp More was willing to 
forgo for the sake of the private con 
science. In all the solemn considerations, 
ver pulled a long face 


however, More 


Approaching the scaffold. he asked for 
help climbing up the rickety stairs, but 
assured his escort that he would look out 
for himself on the way down. 

Funeral in Berlin, a sequel to The Ip 
cress File, aciually improves upon the 
first spygoround lifted from a Len 
Deighton thriller (Deighton’s latest sus 
pense novel, An Expensive Place to Die 
concludes in this issue). Armed with his 
considerable histrionic gilts—and the as 
surance natural to any actor with a half 
dozen hits playing ihe circuits (see the 
following 1eview)—-Michael С 
turns as unflappable Harry Palmer of 
British Intelligence. Caine, looking 
ucely like a store dummy, somehow 
iges to suggest through the gleam 
in his homrimmed blinkers that he 
doesn't really turn on until all the 
shades are drawn and he has sent his 


(e re 


crumpled scruples out to be pressed 
Winging to East Berlin to set up the de 
fection of a Russian Intelligence bigwig 
(Oscar Homolka) who is in charge of 
The Wall and supposedly yearns to get 


over it, Caine risks security with an 
Israeli agent (Eva Renzi) on the prow! 
for а Nazi war criminal. The script, for а 
wonder digs hardest into the hides of 
West German fascists, then and now, It's 
our lad and the Russians having all the 
fun (a trend?) particularly when they 
nip at the crispy dialog provided by sce 
narist Evan Jones. “I know everything 
about you from the size of your refriger 
ator to the cubic capacity of your mis 
ures,” says Caine ıo Homolka. The pace 
is slick, and the camera subtly wedges in 
a sardonic comment on the contrast be 
tween the dull gray masonry of East 
Berlin and its better Вай in the West. all 
glittery and gay (yes. in every sense) and 
corrupt. Though it lacks the 1 
of classics in the genre, this Berlin looks 
ike a fun city for any escapist, particu- 
larly on a cold amd ла 


The gambit of Gambit is the theft of 
1 priceless Oriental sculpture from the. 
richest man in the world—but don't start 
counting the crinkles in this plot before 
it's hatched just because nine movies in 
ten start these days with exactly the 
ame premise. In this version, we have 
опе rale twice told: In the first tel 
t faultlessly executed, the 
y it usually happens in the movies: in 
the second, something new is added — 
something called the human cleme 
ıd Charles Mastersnatch of «һе first 
turns out to be Joe Zilch in re 
in), the fumbl 
a “loolproof plan." He 
bert Lom, oil-rich n 
potewtate of some mythical Lev 
sheikdom, owns а 2300- 


we see the hei 
w 


te and effective 


Cherry Bar in Hong Kong, who happens 
10 be Shirley MacLaine. As a further co 
incidence. MacLaine and the head are 
both dead ringers for Lom's late wile. 
Caine figures to Пу into Топу home 
town with MacLaine all gussied прот 
a succession of glittering cheong samy. 
Word gets to Lom; he invites them over 
10 his place and is so entranced by Мас 
Laine that he docsirt notice Cai 
the joint, Caine effortlessly ste: 
head, and all get home free. In this ver 
sion, Lom is befezzed, bemonacled and 
befuddled, MacLaine із as exotic 
Madame Nhu and Caine is the flinty-eyed 
hero of modern fiction, The second. 
applied, version of the gambit is, of 
course, а major disaster. From the mo 
ment little Shirley opens her lovely 
mouth, she is death to devious deeds and 
deals, too dumb and honest. 100 incom 
fortable in a cheong sam, to simulate 
femme fatale—but in every lifted eyelid 
and reedy exclam; she’s the best 
comedienne in American movies since 
Judy Holliday was Born Yesterday 


casin 
the 


“Now 1o b; 
says to the thin 


te the pig.” Per Oscarsson 
ner of two whores at one 


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point in My Sister, My Love, and proceeds 
to dribble wine on the gross, oblivious 
third party in the bed. But he does so 
with his teeth clenched, for it is his sis- 
ter's wedding night, and the love in the 
tide of this brilliant Swedish film is more 
than brotherly. The subject is incest, the 
seting 18th Century Sweden and the 
social level a cut below the king. From 
these elements, authordirector Vilgot 
Sjöman has forged a Bergmanesque mo- 
ташу play—and one of the most graphi- 
cally erotic films ever made lor public 
showing. Oscarsson returns from 
Continental education to the discovery 
that he and his sister (Bibi Andersson, 
whose liquid beauty is familiar to Ing- 
mar Bergman fans) are “alive” only with 
cach other. Yet he's speechless with fear 
when she proposes fleeing Sweden w 
him. Rebuffed, the sister proceeds with 
the marriage (to Dear John's Jarl Kulle) 
10 which she had acquiesced before her 
brother's return, leaving the siblings 
frustrated in a swarm of Sjö 
bols for their wans 
in script, director 
performances—works multiple wonders: 
Sjóman's period costumes, for example, 
go virtually unnoticed—the viewer al- 
most forgets that they are costumes— 
and the fact that the anatomies of the 
brother and his whores are shown more 
frankly than in any legitimate film in 
memory only reinforces the sense of tru 
ly classical, objective lucidity that per- 
vades My Sister, Aly Love. 


an sym- 
Inte; 
ue and 


ession. 
l techy 


John Frankenheimer, who loves auto 
racing enough to own his own Ferrari 
and to mount ап 58.000.000. production 
celebrating Grond Prix Formula I racing, 
has made an incredibly boring movie 
about that which he loves so well, For 
anyone who has aspired to be the hood 
ornament on a racing саг, there are rich 
doses of Cinerama hysteria in store— 
Frankenheimer resist skidding 
the viewers nose about three inches off 
the tarmac at 125 mph, and a lot of that 
goes a long way fast. The racing footage 
15 terrific. technical marvel that re- 
ed imagination, resourcefulness and 
ical daring. And for aficionados who 
revel in the whine of powerful engines, 
the sheen of steel tubing and the texture 
of tires, there is a lot of authenticity to 
indulge in. But if you're in the market 
for a story to hang it all on, or a strong 
performance or two. look clewhere. 
There are not more than 20 regulars on 
the Grand Prix circuit, and alter some 
races, fewer than that. They are a 
strange, driven, n ick lot, and 
they are very colorful people. But Robert 
Alan Aurthur’s script has nowhere cap- 
tured the atmosphere in which they liv 
and James Garner is hardly the actor to 
manage it on his own. Yves Montand 
and Brian Bedford, both sturdy proles- 


annot 


aybe even s 


sionals, carry such dramatic burdens as 
they can, but the parts are for puppets 
ard they are both unstrung. Toshiro 
Mifune, in his first English-language film, 
is a one-man disaster. Frankenheimer 
could have taken this three hours of 
footage and cut it down to an hour's 
fine documentary that would grab the 
track fans where they live and leave the 
rest of the public alone. Instead, there's 
not enough vroom-vroom for some, two 
vrooms too many for others. 


There are two stories going on at once 
in The Deedly Afoir. That they are of 
equal interest and. strength, though oni 
is a private tragedy and the other a spy 
thriller, is one measure of the sareenwrit- 
er's art. The sacenwriter is Paul Dehn, 
who first translated John Le Carré into 
film with The Spy Who Came in from 
the Gold. His dialog in that chilly, ascet 
ic story was unimpeachable. Now, with 
Le Cané's Call for the Dead, Dehn has, 
if anything. improved his grasp of the 
novelist’s world of colorless internatio 
inuigue and futile private passion. The 
entwining of these two terrible tales is 
played out by a superb cast—James Ma 
son, Simone Signoret, Maximilian Schell 
Harriet Andersson, Harry Andrews and 
Lynn Redgrave—under the consummate 
direction of Sidney Lumet. Mason is at 
the top of his form as a British Secret 
Service functionary stymied in his work 
and paralyzed emotionally by a loving 
wife (Andersson) who happens also to be 
a helpless nymphomaniac, She tells him 
he is too forgiving. “I always thought.” 
he replies. in the throes of an unde 
standable quandary. “that being aggres 
sive was the way to keep my job. and 
being gentle was the way to keep yo 
Well. I've lost my job, haven't 1?” Work 
ing largely on location, in the sterile 
London suburbs and out along lonely 
dockside roads, Lumet gives а grubby 
convincing air to the proceedings. Diver 
sions are provided along the way by the 
Royal Shakespeare Company. David 
(Morgan!) Warner, being pressed to 
death on stage in a performance of Mar- 
lowe's Edward H, lends his Elizabetha 
sc mporary murder being 
effected silently in the stalls section of 
the Aldwych Theater. It’s 

diabolical wick, and it exposes, in a 
bloodthumping climax, the identity of 
the villain of the piece. Like all that hay 
led up to this crescendo and the brief 
sad resolution that follows it, it's terrific. 

5 


cams to а со 


а cu 


The star of Murderers’ Row is a big fat 
hovercraft. It inflates, it whines, it shim 
mies itself over land and sea with talent 
and enthusiasm—and thus be: 
semblance at all to Dean M 
body else in this second film 
of the adventures of Matt. Helm, li 
ious leg-art photographer and invincible 
secret agent. This Мац Helm shtick is a 


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priceless property for Dino, all part of 
overblown, often tasteless productions in 
h nobody is really trying to do any 
thing well. Some audiences like that sort 
of casual contempt: They are delighted to 
accept any inadvertent blink or burp or 
drunken lurch as the funniest take since 
Punch sapped Judy with a bladder. But 
from all appearances, Martin will need a 
face lift and a 12-month course with Vic 
“Tanny to keep it up into the next install 
nt, which is already readying omi. 
nously on the back. lot and is to be called 
The Ambushers. Not that the role is аг 
duous: Martin seems to get tired just 
from standing there. The physical ener 
gy in the present film is provided by 
Ann-Margret, whose job is to provide 
incessant exertions as a frug and monkey 
enthusiast in residence on the French 
Riviera, Martin's job is to put the kibosh 
on a leering, snecring, archetypal arch- 
villain (played by Karl Malden), who 
intends to scorch Washi . to 
the ground with some sort of solar beam 
invented by Aun-Margret’s father, whom 
alden has captured and put to elec 
iu order to extract “the 
" from him, We're getting drowsy 
nking about it. 


Don't stay away from Antonioni's 
Blow-Up because you're afraid it’s going 
to be another moody meander. It's 
masterful movie, full of social and sexual 
satire, humor and suspense—and when 
you leave the theater disappointed, 
you'll know it's no accident, but because 
Michelangelo Antonioni wants you to be 
disappointed, He uses all the conve 
tions of cinematic storytelling better 
than you've ever seen them used—and 
then he drops the whole matter for a res- 
olution that has litle по do with any of 
the working plots, yet is a more pro 
found comment than an 
stuff. might have been. Thomas (David 
Hemmings) is an ultrasuccssful Lon 
don fashion photographer of the David 
Bailey genre. He has а bruised, petulant 
sort of face, tousled golden locks about 
his ear lobes and а Rolls Royce convert 
ble. He photographs half-naked women 
in incredible clothes. But he is bored, 
bored, bored. Life intrudes on his ennui 
one day in the park, where he stalks a 
pair of lovers to get lyrical shots for a 
book he's doing. The girl (Vanessa Red- 


of the other 


grave) spies him spying, pursues him to 
his studio and readily climbs ont of her 


оез to trade her all for the negatives. 
The deal is never consummated, perhaps 
because she always keeps her elbows in 
front of her nipples; but Thomas gives 
her a phony roll of film and she goes 
away happy. Then he develops the take 
and, with a series of. blow-ups, discovers 
that—well, suffice it to say that murder 
has been done. Thomas ical 
efforts to thrust this disturbing news on 
somebody. anybody, is what the mov 
about, sort of. With all tlie diversions in 


the way of purposeful action. however, 
it’s no wonder he has trouble getting 
through. Giggling girls are always drop- 
ping by to get naked with him for three- 
way wrestling (c 

Tor a drink with the couple across the 
alley and. they're balling on the living- 
room floor; he goes to a party and every- 
body's smoking pot and practically flying 
through the windows, So with all this 
happening, asks Antonioni, who cares 
about one stone-cold stil in the park? 


bows akimbo); he stops 


THEATER 


Walking Happy is a musical version of 
Hobson's Choice, the old Harold Brig. 
house play (and Charles Laughton movic) 
about a shoemaker's spinstery daughter 
who chooses hi fathers. lowliest ap. 
prentice and lifts him by his own boot- 
aps She marries him and they beat 
her father in business, to boot. The time 
is 1880, the place an industrial town in 
england, Set designer Robert Randolph 
ingenious storybook con- 
struction that swings apart, shifts swiltly 
from neighborhood pub to narrow, hilly 
streets. The actors are in keeping with 
the surroundings: Louise Troy as the 
pushy daughter; George Rose, 
Laughtonish girth, as the autoc 
ther; and, particularly, Norman Wisdom 
as the purupon cobbler. Ап English 
music-hall comedian in his American stage 
debut, Wisdom is woefully ugly, with a 
badly whittled face, a Бар-обЬопез 
body, knobby knees and big feet. He 
acts with his feet—shuflling, tripping, 
colliding. sliding. Forced by bullies to 


с of th 
ing and 


fully as his feet assum 
own. Tapping and clogging 
clowning, Wisdom walks away with the 
show, but his load is heayy—about one 
hour and six songs too heavy. Adapters 
Roger О. Hirson and Ketti Frings have 
retained solid chunks of Hobson's 
Choice, which are colorful cnough to 
make one want to see the whole play. 
but pop tunesmiths Sammy Cahn and 
Jimmy Van Heusen have spliced the 
scenes together with a spiritless score 
Steadfastly  wn-English and unwitty 
(You're always bacchanalian/You make 
Nero scem Episcopalian”), their songs 
quite literally stop the show—dead in its 
tracks. At the Lunt-F 205 West 
16th. Street. 


Robert Preston is an actor of infinite 
vitality, a big, booming stage presence 
He never runs out of fuel. Mary Martin 
is an actress of infinite vivacity; she is 
virtue resplendent. They are ап unbeat 
able combination: all they need is a stage 
and some musicians and the show is in 
business. Witness | Do! | Dot, their new 
vehicle, which they ride for all it is 
worth—and then some. It’s based оп Jan 
de Hartog’s two-character play The 


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Fourposter. and author-lyricist Tom 
Jones and composer Harvey Schmidt 
have had the novel notion of keeping it 
to two characters. I Do! eschews the 
stagelul of choruses, subplots, produc- 
tion numbers, leaves the action to just 
Agnes and Michael, and 50 years of 
their married life, sliced into an attenu 
ated series of sentimental black-outs: 
wedding night, first fight, first birth, etc 
She wants that tacky pillow titled “God 
Is Love" to stay on the bed. The situ 
tions are, to be kind, trite; but blame 
that mostly on the source. Jones and 
Schmidt's songs never impede the action 
or distort the characters. Still, there is а 
limit to the number of love ditties one 
can take straight, without a shot of wry 
What saves the show from being love 
sick are its stars. Singing singly and in 
duet, dancing barefoot around the mari- 
tal bed, quick-changing costumes (from 
nightshirt to tie and tails), shifting the 
scenery and playing the violin, saxo 
phone and ukulele, they are the produc- 
tion. Director Gower Champion keeps 
things fluid yet not too busy. The truth 
is, however, that without the dynamic 
duo, I Do! I Do! would merely be much 
ado. At the 46th Str 226 West 46th 
5те 


BOOKS 


As a leaf falls into a river. its reflection 
rises to meet it. Vladi Nabokov's re- 
vised autobiography, Speak, Memory (Put- 
nam), captures this “delicate union,” the 
“magic precision” with which memory 
meets Ше. The мий of these memoirs 
consists of tutors and governesses. youth 
ful poems and love alfairs, chess and 
butterflies, pet dogs and family walks— 
the 20 years of warm security in his aris 
tocratic Russian family, the 20 years of 
cold exile in Western Europe before 
coming to America in 1940, But he holds 
the lamp of art to "life's foolscap," and 
his true subjects are the shadows it casts: 
the prison of time, the key of conscious- 
ness, the escape into the timelessness of 
i 1 . the loss of childhood. the 
ty and the transforma- 
tion of nostalgia into art. As a child he 
pursues а butterfly—and captures it, 40 
years later. in Colorado. As an artist he 
pursues beauty—and captures it, sur- 
mounting time, in words. This book is 
marred by the familiar Nabokov postur- 
ing: the peevish invective, the haughty 
disdain, the occasionally pedantic vocab- 
ulary graying his otherwise lustrous 
prose. Having lived through two of the 
greatest upheavals of the 20th Century— 
the Bolshevik Revolution and the rise of 
Nazism—he seems to regard them as 
merely vulgar interruptions of his delicate 
preoccupations, Yet this is the most 


tender and radiant of his books. After 
staring fervently at the incandescent light 
of his childhood, he is suddenly plunged 
into darkness—and the afterimage glows 


luminously in his inner суе. With the 
precision of an ашы, the passion of a 
scientist, he evokes “wisps of iridescence" 
with dazzling exactness, with loving 
delight. 


When the talk gets around to the new 
morality in our sod lly 
think of students frugging to the beat of 
the Animals or marching for peace or 
ig 150 tri ps—-bi there is another 
Ire that has to be considered, and it 
а hearse of a dilferent color. Thanks 
to Hunter 5. Thompson's Hell's Angels 
(Random House). the world of the out 
law motorcyclist. comes into terrifying 
focus. What a world it is: а roaring pit of 
gangbangs, stompings and catatonic 
ү beer and bennies, Seconal 

эЧ а scaring hatred 
for a society in which they are sure 
losers. Thompson, who lived with the 
Oakland Hell's Angels for over a year 
until he was literally stomped out of the 
club, starts by correcting the press’ vision 
of the Hell's Angels as savage rapists and 
destroyers of property. Exit ed, he 
says, But the truth, as Thompson cap- 
tures it, is not much milder: The Hell's 
Angels are "tough, mean amd potential- 
ly dangerous as packs of wild boar 
The telling is far from boring. There are 
vivid vignettes of individual Angels: 
“Buzzard, а porcupine among men, with 
his quills always flared. . . . If he won a 
new car with a raffle ucket bought in his 
name by some momentary girlfriend, he 
would recog at once as a trick to 
con him out of a license fee. He would 
denounce the girl as a hired slut, beat up 
the raffle sponsor and trade off the car 
for 500 Seconals and а gold-handled cait- 
ile prod." Who are the Angels? Thomp- 
son reports that they come from good 
old pioneer stock—sons and 
of Okies, Arkies and hillbi 
"made the long trek to the Gold 
and found it wa 
la." For a while they д 


just another hard dol 
с wooed by the 
t. Members of the Oakland An- 
с the pot and LSD parties pre- 
sided over by the medicine men of the 
movement, novelist Ken Kesey and poet 
Allen Ginsberg. But it can't last, because 
the Angels are essentially fascistic, their 
swastikas not mere embroidery. They 
break up a couple of peace marches and, 
suddenly, in the right-wing press, they 
arc no longer rapists but "misunderstood. 
patriots,” It is all 100 much for the au- 
thor. whose final vision in this otherwise 
revealing book is that the Hell's Angels 
are only “the first wave of a future that 
nothing in our history has prepared us to 


cope with.” We've coped with worse. 


The hero of Elia Kazam's novel The 
Arrangement (Stein and Day) is а 45-ycar- 
old Greek-American boy named Eddie 
Anderson, an advertising-agency account 
executive and magazine writer who is 


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PLAYBOY 


34 


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But here, it is the only ‘top 12’ you can buy 


for about 55.00 


The Scots produce it, we bottle it...and 
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adept at making deals, His deal with his 
WASP wife, for example, is that he flits 
about as much as he likes as long as he 
finally flies back to their Beverly Hills 
nest. But after he delves deeply into the 
facts of life with a pneumatic researcher 
at assorted motels and hotels and even 
on public beaches in broad daylight. he 
finds he just can't go home again. So he 
heads his car into an onrushing truck. 
Unfortunately. he survives the accident, 
and the burden of this book revolves 
around his repeated attempts not 10 те 
solve the problem of wife vs. mistress. 
He flies a Cesna dangerously, 
himself beat up a few times, sets fire 10 
his fathers house. urinates on a bill 
board. suffers a nervous breakdown and 
continues to couple in various states with 
the researcher, who turns out to be an 
ex-hooker with—you guessed it—a heart 
of 24.4. gold. And ошу when his father, 
а patriarchal rug dealer, dics, docs he 
become man enough to decide that his 
girlfriend is, after all. a girl for all sea- 
sons, and. that—somehow tangentially— 
writing, real writing, is his true calling. 
The question is whether writing is Elia 
Kazan’s true calling. This narrative, 
encased in thick layers of artificially 
rendered advertising and magazine back- 
grounds, shows few si 


gets 


ıs of promise. 


A migratory worker and longshoreman 
for most of his life, Eric Holfer is an 
autodidact who writes essays more insight- 
fully than many pundits festooned with 
graduate degrees. His newest collection, 
The Temper of Our Time (Harper & Row), is 
concerned primarily with aspects of 
change. Holter begins by supplying his 
torical illustrations of the "family like- 
ness between adolescents and people 
who migrate from one country to an- 
other, or are converted from one faith to 
another, or pass from one way of life to 
another—as when peasants are turned 
into industrial workers, serfs into free 
men, civilians into soldiers, and people 
in undeveloped countries are subject to 
Our cra of un. 


rapid modernization.” 


precedented, world-wide social change 
he maintains, is “A Time of Juveniles.” 


Looking ahead in “Automation, Leisure 
and the Masses,” Holler sees eyberna 
tion leaving millions unemployed in the 
current sense of the term “work.” and he 
proposes that society become a school. 
The alternative might be catastrophe, for 
“there is nothing more explosive than a 


skilled population condemned to inac- 
tion." In “The Negro Revolution," Hof- 
fer focuses on that segment of the present 
population that is now showing signs of 
exploding. His basic conclusions are si 
lar to those of Black Power advocates: 
Negroes should organize themselves into 
genuine communities 


“with organs for 
self help." 
"only when the Negro community 
whole performs something that will win 


cooperation and because 


a 


Why did half a million 
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оа. 22, 1965) 


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Jan. 16, 1966) 


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35 


PLAYBOY 


36 


Whatever you add to your 
vodka martinis, start with 
the patent on smoothness. 


for it the admiration of the world will 
the Negro individual be completely him. 
self.” Holler notes, however, that so far 
the Black Power spokesmen are still only 
e is still a shying aw: 
from quiet, patient organization and a 
penchant for showy, quick results, and 
for tame enemies and tame 
grounds.” His final essay. 
Thoughts on the Present.” is generally 
optimistic about what lies ahead, for rea 
sons that have to be taken on faith, even 
though Hoffer insists he is a r 
He is not always consistent—but he is 
consistently stimulating. 


RECORDINGS 


England's premier balladeer is in fine 
vocal fettle on Ман Monroe / Here's to My 
lady (Capitol). The Monroe musical doc 
tine is devoid of frills and fancy stuff as 
he straightforwardly gets to the heart of 
matters such as When Sunny Gets Blue 
Nina Never Knew and When Joanna 
Loved Me. 


“Gingerbread Men" / Clark Terry-Bob Brook- 
meyer Quintet (Mainstream) is another gen 


erous 


nd joyous helping of one of the 
г ant. Тату on Flügel 
and trumpet and vocals, Brook 
meyer on trombone and Hank Jones on 
no, assisted by bassist Bob Cranshaw 
and drummer Dave Bailey, cook piquant- 
ly throughout a sesion replete 
revivihed standards and — car-catch 
origin 


Sammy Davis Jr. Sings / Laurindo Almeida 
Plays (Reprise) is absolutely the best 
thing we've ever hı ammy do. Gui- 
tarist Almeida provides the perfect coun 
terpoint to the Davis songstering and the 
recording includes a whole slew of our 
lavorite tunes—Speak Low: The Fol 
Who Live on the Hill; Joey, Joey, Joc 
Where Is Love—all top-drawer mat 
made more so by Sammy and Laurindo. 


Lock, the Fox/Eddie Lockjaw“ Davis 
(Victor) presents the big sound of the 
longtime tenor man fro а sm 
group whose sole purpose is to provide a 
showcase for his musical thoughts on 
such diverse subjects as On Green Dol- 
phin Street and Days of Wine and Roses 
"Throughout, “Jaws” is superb. 


из been many years since she sang in 
front of the Ellington orchestra, but 
Maria Cole, Nat's widow, impressively 
demonstrates on Love Is a Special Feeling 
pitol) that she’s lost none of her voc [ 
ked by one of Nat’ 

ite arrangers, Gordon Jenk 
softly persuasive as she delineates such 
splendid items zs А Blues Serenade, 


Mau Dennis’ ageless Violets for Your 
Furs and On а Clear Day, Welcome 
back, Maria. 

Sonny Stitt, who has, of late, taken to 
the electronic alto, is heard to excellent 
advantage on his plain, old-fashioned, 
unamplified instrument оп Pow! (Pres- 
tige). Уши quintet includes the exem- 
plary bone man Benny Green, who 
works hand in glove with Sonny en the 
familiar / Want to Be Happy and а 
half-dozen new jazz items 


We strongly recommend а beautiful 
of two of Bela Bartók's major 
Compositions—the Concerto for Orchestra, 
perlormed by the Bamberg Symphony 
under Heinrich. Hollreiser, and ше Con- 
certo No. 3 for Piano and Orchestra (Turn- 
about), featuring Gyorgy Sandor as soloist 
with the Pro Musica Orchestra of Vienna 
conducted by Michael Gielen, Hungari- 
ап Sandor's close association with Bartok 
ay both student and interpreter makes 
him ideally suited for the piano concerto, 
a work he performed, with the Philadel 
phia Orchestra under Eugene Ormandy, 


at its world premiere. The Concerto for 
Orchestra is filled with Hung: 
themes stamped indelibly with the 
of Bartók. 


Jack Jones Sings (Kapp) should be all 
the invitation necessary 10 get опе to 
hear this LP. But there's more to it than 
4 
are, in almost all instances, frst rank 
4 Day in the Life of a Fool (an Angli- 
ized version of Manha de Carnival) and 
the 


м. The songs covered by Mr. Jones 


wl oldie Street of Dreams, а song 


rarely reprised these да 
of the highlights 


s, are a couple 


Ahmed Jamal / Heat Wave (Cadet) is an 
amalgam of evergreens, jazz originals 
amd offthe-beaten-track tone poems. 
With bassist Jamil 
Frank Gant providing able as 
pianist Jamal communicates his spec 
musical message admirably on the tide 
ditty. the Duke-Harburg classic April in 
Paris and a varied assortment of tasteful 
goodies. It is, in all respects, easy listeni 


asser апа drummer 


ice, 


Frank Sinatra's elfervescent, hard 
run-through of the title tune on 
Ther's Life (Reprise) just about takes it off 
the market for any other singer By and 
large, the rest of the Ernie Freeman- 
conducted and charted session is up то 
the standards set by the opener—especial- 
ly the swinging Winchester Cathedral and 
the hauntmg The Imposible Dream 
from Man of La Mancha—but it was а 


mistake to лаке Somewhere My Love 


(1 


bouncy tempo. Outside of that, no com 


plaints. 


ıs theme from Dr, Zhivago) at a 


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PLAYBOY 


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PLAYBOY BOOK OF CRIME AND SUSPENSE promises 
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Every page alive with intrigue, written by such weavers 
of mystery as lan Fleming, Ken W. Purdy, Herbert Gold, 
Fredric Brown, Henry Slesar and 21 other suspense 
spinners. Hard cover, 416 pages, $5.95. 


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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


Dining the summer, E am able to see 
my fiancée on two or three weekends 
only. Lam faithful to her but puzzled by 
the fact that during the long drives to 
her town, I am constantly distracted by 
the girls I see—so much so that Гус 
come close to picking up some of them. I 
forget all about this when I'm with my 


fiancée and back home (during the 
school year we're at col- 
leges). Do you think my en 
route mean the relationship is shallow? 


—] W.. Flushing. New York. 

It scems natural to из that your gen- 
eral girlconsciousness should be height- 
ened afler a few weeks without female 
companionship. Don't start worrying 
about your depth of feeling for the girl 
until the same impulses hil you on the 
пу home. 


н. anyone ever attempted to compute 
how many different cocktails can be mixed 
from all the ndard ingredients used for 
that purpose? My bet is that it's in the 
millions.—C. L., Tacoma, Washington. 
The late H. L. Menchen was inty 
by the He wrole: "A 
friend and I once employed a mathema- 
tician to figure out how many cocktails 
could be fashioned of the materia bibu- 
lica ordinarily available at a first-class 
bar. He reported thal Ше number was 
17,861 ,392,788. We tried 273 at random 
and found them all good, though some, 
better than others.” 


same question. 


of course, were 


Pave a lovely wife who, though raised 
by sternly Victorian parents, seemed 10 
have no sex hang-ups during the early 
months of our marriage 
gave birth to a girl d 
she now reveals that she “hates sex." She 
states that she has felt this way since our 
daughter was born and that she dreads 
soing 10 bed at night. My main problem 
is this: My wife knows that the way she 
{eels about sex В making me unhappy, 
bun she abo feels that it hay gone past 
the wage where we can work this prob- 
Та together. I have suggested 10 
her that we sec a m selor or a 
doctor, but she doesn't seem по be will- 
She says that she would rather nor 
a divorce, because of the hardships 
Meme placed on our daughter. 
› be quite wuthful, it would hurt like 
HL if T were ко lose both my wife and 
nd yer we can't go on like 
thi. —M.. L., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 

You may have become trapped in a 
situation well known in psychiatric liter- 
ите. Certain women who were reared 

puritanical environments, and who 
wem at first to make a successful adjust- 


However. she 


y 


ar ago 


riage со 


ment to marriage, suddenly revert to anti- 
sexual feelings after giving birth; other 
women from such backgrounds sink into 
profound depressions after childbirth, 
and may even become suicidal. In such 
cases, according lo psychiatric authori- 
ties, the unconscious mind, conditioned 
in childhood to associate sex with guilt, 
ards the birth of a baby аз public cvi- 
dence that Ше “sin” of intercourse. has 
been L Obuionsly, your wife 
needs professional help and you should 
do your best to convince her of that fact. 
Without it, she is unfit for marriage or 
for motherhood. 


committe: 


Bish co сай your attention to a mistake 
the January 1967 Advisor column. A 
letter from C. R.. Chicago. Illinois, stat- 
ed that the maximum amount that’s in- 
sured by the Federal Deposit Insurance 
Corporation is $10,000. In answering his 
question as to whether or not more than 
account in the same bank is covered 
separately or only in total. you confirmed 


on 


the 510.000 figure. This amount is 
wrong. The FDIC now insures accounts 
up to $15,.000—D. W. New York. 


New York 

The amount insured by the FDIC— 
$10,000—was raised to $15,000 after 
our January issue had gone lo press. 


А 57. Im very active 


dancing, conversation and, 


enjoy 
n fact, 


musi 
life in 


general. I'm hopelessly in love with a 
lovely neighbor of mi ingle lady of 
19 who's а successlul. cares wd not 
interested in marriage. We enjoy cach 
other very much and have a great time 
marred by only one thing. Although we 


see cach other steadily, she refuses to 
give up a long-standing Sarurday-night 
nother man she's known for 
some 25 years. Since we do have an inti- 
mate onship. do vou think this is 
fain? Tve told her my Saturday ni 
are just hell. I can't help being jealou 
and hitting the boule every time she 
goes out. Aren't 1 within my rights to in- 
sit that she stop this practice if she real 
me, which she says she 
Akron, Olio. 


describe, 


ly cues about 
«оер. B.. 
In the you 
Saturday nights must, indeed. be hel 
if you insist on your so-called 
you may force the lady to mak 


situation your 
; but 


rights: 


a decision 
that wil cause all your cvenings to be 
hell. We suggest That you give up your 
il-adviwd attempts at emotional black 
mail wia the bottle. Instead, spend your 
Saturday nights dating others; this will 
not only lighten your weekend load of 


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PLAYBOY 


40 


loncliness but it might help persuade her 
that she is taking your attentions for 
granted. Given time—and less pressure — 
she may decide that hey relationship with 
you is important enough to become а one- 
and-only affair. 


F have often wondered how I could find 
out the history of my family name. Can 
you give me the address of someone who 
does this type of work?—A. B., Milwau- 
kee, Wisconsin. 

There ave many individuals who spe- 
cialize in tracing family names, For a 
complete list, write to The National 
Genealogical Society, 1921 Sunderland 
Place N.W., Washington, D. C. 


©у‹уста! bachelor friends and myself 
will shortly be flying down to the Biha- 
mas for two weeks of fun in the sui 
ake in the way 
of clothingz—T. S. Louisville, Kentucky. 

You'll want to pack light; air baggage 
allowances are 66 pounds in fast class, 
44 pounds in tourist. Depending on your 
itinerary, include: one dark tropical 
worsted suit (wear it on the plane), two 
sports coals (a madras and a blazer), two 
wash-and-wear business shirts, two pairs 
of slacks color-coordinated with your 
jackets, a black-to-brown reversible belt, 
an ample supply of wash-and-wear 
underwear, handkerchiefs, four short- 
sleeved sport shirts in polo and button- 
up styles, two pairs of Bermuda shorts, 
two or three pairs of shoes (include a 
pair of sneakers), six pairs of socks, two 
bathing suits and a lightweight sweater. 
Skip the tropical dinner clothes unless 
formal functions are on your agenda. 
The Bahamas ave, of course, a crown 
colony; therefore, you can pick up excel- 
lent British wearables—not to mention a 
select assortment of other English ex 
ports—at below Stateside prices, (И ad- 
ditions to your wardrobe put you over 
the baggage limit, simply mail your used 
clothes home.) 


$... time ago my husband asked me 
how much it would bother me if he oc 
casionally went to bed with someone 
eke. He said he loved. me and our chil- 
1 and wouldn't want to hurt me but 
imes attracted to other women 
та purely sexual way. He said he still 
found me stimulating but that he wanted 
some variety, So far, nothing has hap- 
pened. I told him I understood the 
difference салс sex and love, and 
asked him to elllme if he went to bed 
But I said I had to have 
The thought of my 
infidelity hurts him, so although he flirts 
with other women at parties, he never 
gocs any further. I could forgive him if 


What do you suggest we 


he docs have ап adventure. But how 
might this affect our marriage?—Mrs. 
M. Г. Buffalo, New York. 

You've virtually answered your own 
question: If the thought of your infidelity 
hurts him—and vice versa—then the effect 
оп your marriage could only be negative. 
You didn't ask us, but if you spent less 
effort trying to understand the “difference 
between sex and love" and more effort 
toward combining the two, your marital 
relationship would be immeasurably 
enhanced. 


Е mer a girl on a blind date some 
months ago and have been seeing her 
regularly ever since. I think she’s great 
and have broached the subject of a seri- 
ous relationship, with the possibility of 
eventually getting married. 1 feel the 
matter deserves consideration, since we've 
heen seeing so much of cach other. 
Here's Ше rouble: She's a teacher and 
has two months off in the summer. She 
has made plans for a vacation trip. I'm 
in the process of changing jobs and 
won't be getting any time off. Im not 
happy about her being away that long 
and I've told her so, but she insists she’s 
ays she wants to "live and do 
ce that’s her attitude, do you 
k I should keep seeing her till she 


goes away or just cool it right пом? 


B.L n Francisco, Calilorn 

Her plans for a summer interlude don't 
sound unsound to us. She obviously en- 
joys your company but just as obviously 
is not as ready as you ате for a permanent 
one-to-one relationship. Let her go with 
по reproaches and utilize the time to play 
the field while you give your feelings 
about the marriage a thoughtful apprais- 
al. You'll both be a lot more certain 
about the big decision when she returns 
in the fall. 


Tam thinking of buying some very ex- 
pensive stationery with my name and 
address on it. My problem is that а 
friend said the word "Mr." should pre- 
cede my name on the station and 1 
don't agree. He also said that only white 

is acceptable for men, while I [eel 


OK. What's 
Hewett, New 


the letterhead 
your opinion?—W. M.. 
York. 

Your friend is wrong on both counts. 
Including “Mr.” on letterhead stationery 
went out with quill pens and sleeve gar- 
teys. Stick to your пате. Tan is fine for 
the paper's color, as is white, cream, gray 
or dark blue. The engraving ov printing 
should be dark: black, blue or gray. 


о. the first or second date with a 


Im always very  sell-conscious abo 
kissing her good. night. Is there any way 
10 make sure a girl won't think you're 


attacking her when you go for that first 
kiss? R. $.. Shaker Heights. Ohio. 
Rather than leave all physical con- 
tact 10 a goodnight kiss, you should take 
the opportunity during the course of the 
evening to familiarize her with your 
touch—by helping her on with her coat, 
taking her arm as you're going up or 
down steps, crossing streets, getting into 
а car, etc. By the time you're ready to 
say good night, you won't seem like such 
physical strangers to each. other and a 
kiss will be a perfectly appropriate clase 
to the evenin; 


Tha the course of my work, T do a great 
deal of business-oriented wining and din- 
ing on expense account. I use credit cards 
—induding my Playboy Club key card— 
extensively. When I’m presented the bill 
to sign, I (есі like a fool sitting there 
figuring out the amount of tip to write 
in—and wondering whether to round it 
off to Ше пе: dollar or calculate the 
exact percentage. The result is that Г of- 
ten think I oventip or undertip, or tl 
Im being petty about pennies. And Im 
not a whiz at mental arithmetic, which 
means I take too long over what should 
be a simple matter. Have you a sugges- 
tion?—B. P., Hartford, Connecticut 

Sure. In а restaurant, at lunchtime, 
simply write on the check, “Add tip 15 
percent”; at a night club or tony dinner 
spot, make it, “Add tip 20 percent.” Then 
let the cashier do the arithmetic. 


A girl 1 like fairly well and have be 
seeing dates one other guy—a 27-ye: 
old English insuuctor we both had last 
nally involved 
ims that she 
considers both of us enjoyable dates but 
no more Шап that. She and I are junior 
English majors and the school is small, 
so I'm sure each of us will take mc 
courses from my "rival" It seems to me 
that there are obvious dangers in her re 
lationship with the instructor. Do you 
think I should try to explain them to her? 
—R. E. Boston, Massachusetts. 

Our guess в that а lecture [rom you on 
the uses and abuses of power in campus 
relationships won't do much to swing the 
girl to your side; in fact, if you convince 
her that she’s involved т something 
“dangerous,” you may only succeed in 
adding to the appeal of the other rela- 
tionship. 


with her (yet) and she с 


All reasonable questions—from fash- 
ion, food and drink, hi-fi and sports cars 
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette 
—awill be personally answered if the 
writer includes а stamped, self-addressed 
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Mich- 
igan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611. The 
most. provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages each month. 


Seagram's 7 Crown made this big name for itself 
just by making better drinks. 
That's why people like it more than any other whiskey 
in the whole wide world. 
Say Seagram’s and be Sure. 


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PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL DATEBOOK 


BY PATRICK CHASE 


TIRED OF RESORTS? Try a private cruise. 
You and a few convivial companions 
can charter а luxurious yacht —complete 
with captain and crew—for les moncy 
than you might imagine. There's 
unusual variety to choose from: Chinese 
junks are available in Hong Koug for 
short excursions; schooners can be rent 
ed in South Sea ports; sleek sloops offer 
the opportunity to isand-hop in the 
Caribbean; and, if you so choose, а luxuri- 


ine. an 


ous motor yacht will whisk you and your 
friends from one Greek island to another. 
Costs per day per person start at $3.50 


for the Chinese junk and continue up 
to 510 for the 147-Го0г Greece-based 
motor yacht Daska. It comes with a 
uniformed crew of nine who will arrange 
everything from buffet lunches complete 
with taped music and chilled wine on 
secluded beaches to candiclit dinners 
while the boat is anchored close by the 
resort town of your choice. 

For $828 per person (including air 
fare from New York) for a party of six 
(thee double cabins), your group сап 
charter the 70-foot motor yacht Trollun. 
gen for a 15-day cruise out of Cannes 
along the French and halian Rivier 
On Ше trip you'll anchor overnight at 
Monte Carlo and Alassio, then head 
south to Portofino, Viareggio and the 
islands of Elba, Corsica and Sardinia be 


fore returning to Cannes by way of St- 
Tropez. If you'd rather do your cruising 
doser to home, the 56foot schooner Te 
Hongi takes a 15-day run from Mar 


nique through the Caribbean's idyllic 
Windward Islands. The cost per person 
for a party of five (two twin-berth cabins 
and a single) is 5777. Ports of сай may 
include St. Lucia, Pigeon Island, St. Vin- 
cent, Bequia, the Tobago cays, Prune 
and Union islands in the Lesser 
dines, Chatham, Carriacou and Сте 


but each party can arrange its own 
itinera 
May is the perfect time to try skin 


ing near Cartagena in Colombia, South 
America, which is sill uncrowded and 
easily accessible (fly Avianca from Miami). 
You'll not only sce plenty of unusual 
fish but you may also discover an ancient 
souvenir or two on the ocean bottom: 
This area was once a convoy mustering 
point for 16th Century Spanish galleons 
bound for home the Atlantic 
with the loot of the conquistadors. It is 
rich in wrecks—espedally among the 
Rosario Islands. called Sub- 
Aqua at the Club de Pesca in Cartagena 
is fully equipped with guides, boats, scu- 
а equipment, etc, to help you explore 
reefs near Grande and Pirate islands, as 
well as to hunt for booty off Treasure 


across 


An outfit 


Island and n Beach. Underwater 
photography excursions can also be ar- 
ranged—many of the galleons lie in 
clear, warm waters at depths of only 30 
or 40 feet. If you stay in Cartagena, plan 
to stop at the Hotel del Caribe or the 
Hotel Americano-Casino. Both offer a 
chance for you to try your luck at the 
ming tables. All rooms in the Del 
ribe overlook the ocean and, for a 
ing break from your skindiving ad- 
ventures, you can sun and soak in the 
flower-framed swimming pool. 

We suggest a trip to Montreal's Е 
67. the biggest world's fair since Brus- 
sels. But while you're there, don't over- 
look Montreal itself—now a city that 
attracts а bright young crowd of swingers. 
The attractions of Montreal include 
an experimental theater group, disco- 
fhéques, op and pop art galleries, jazz 
joints and outstanding restaurants. 

Montreal also boasts a dozen perma- 
nent drama companies that stage а varie- 
ty of plays. At the Théâtre de la Place, 
for example, original one-act dramas are 
put on daily at noon. Also walk through 
the old section of the city. Around the 
Bon Secours Market, ancient homes are 
being turned. into smart boutiques and 
luxurious little bars and vestaurants such 
as Le Fournil and Les Filles du В. 
The French-Canadian specialties they 
serve include the caribou, a potent po- 
able composed of red wine and white 
whiskey. For the best French food in 
town, пу Au Pierret Gourmet, Сас 
Martin, Castel du Rey or Chez Stien. 
Chez Pauzė is tops for seafood. 

For latehour nights on the town, be 


po 


sure to make the scene at Pasquale's, а 
spot that starts jumping shortly after 


midnight. Professional jazz musicians 
working in Montreal hang out here and, 
almost invariably, there'll be an im 
promptu jam session. On Sundays, the 
sounds begin at three эм. 

If you want to get away from the 
ighis and sounds of Montreal for а few 
days, take a drive into the nearby Lau- 
rentian St. Hippolyte 
you'll find a tiny lakeside lodge named La 
Chaumine. There you can relax in cozy 
comfort. The meals and wine cellar may 
well justify the boast that here is a “cor 
ner of France.” Farther on into the Lau- 
rentians is the resort La Sapinière, which 
offers fine French cuisine at reasonable 
rates. The basement. bistro, aptly named 
La Cave, is perfect for a nightcap or 
two. 

For further information rite to Playboy 

Reader Service, Playboy Building, 919 
N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Il. 60611. ÈD 


Mountains. At 


If you’re about 
to buy a watch, 
why not make 
sure it’s a 

1 


stop watch 
2 time out stop watch 
3 doctor's watch 
4 yachting timer 
5 tachometer 
6 aviator's watch 


ime zone watch 


8 skin diver's watch 


9 regular watch 


Why not make sure it's the 
Chronomaster by Croton, $100. 
Write for free fact boo 
Dept. P-3, Croton Watch Co., 
Croton-On-Hudson, N. Y. 


CROTON 


CHRONOMASTER 
GOES STEADY GOES STEADY 
GOES STEADY GOES STEADY 


43 


PLAYBOY 


44 


т, 
е np — 
Tt 
A, 
» мр. 
You can crush it, stamp on if, pack it or squeeze it. showerproof. Most other raincoats are. But Rainfair ol- 
Roinfair isn't ofraid. И tokes it all in style. Showerproof ways remembers whot shape it should be in. And most 
and rinkle-free. That makes Roinfair the perfect coat other raincoats don't. Roinfair rinkleproof raincoats 
for guys who want thot permanently neat look, but get priced from $29.95 to $50.00. At Carson, Pirie Scott & 


themselves into rinkleable situations. Like heavily- 
populated block parties, crowded subwoys, or adoring 
women. You see, Rainfoir is unusual. Not because it's 


Co., Chicago; Shillito's, Cincinnati; L. S. Ayres, Indian- 
орой; John Wanamaker (University Shop), Philadel- 
phia;TheEmporium, Son Froncisco, ond other fine stores 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy" 


PLAYBOY IN 1985 

There is no publication today offering 
more courageous or needed wisdom in 
the service of human liberty than 
тглупоу. Obviously, it is published for 
men, but it would be most fortunate if 
the millions of unmarried women in this 
country could be informed of its philoso- 
phy. Why not carry on an intensive cam- 
рап to have all men who read it r 
their wives and girlfriends to its contents 
cach month? The more women who be- 
come aware of the wider 
your circulatio d the gr 
er your inllu mong those 
who will soon be the opinion makcrs in 
this nation. By 1970, over half the popu- 
lation will be under 30, and by 19 
these people will be in the "driver's ч 
of Government and business as well as 
the der 


its contents, 
will grow 
ce will be 


Elizabeth and Leonard Hizer 
Chamblee, Georgia 
OMBUDSMAN 
Iam intrigued by the idea of an Om- 


budsman—a public ofheial who repre- 
sents the rights of the citizen against the 
government (The Playboy Forum, De 
cember). Perhaps there should be an 
Ombudsman for every large for 
every state and one for the entire 
I would be interested to know more 
about how the system actually мон 
and about how people feel toward their 
Ombudsman. Arc there РЕАУВОУ readers 
in the counties that have ап Ombuds- 
man who have had personal experience 
with him? Are there some who have 
been dissatisfied with their contacts with 
him? Do they really feel that he stands 
up for their problems, or, because he is 
paid by the government, is he likely to 
become part of that same bureaucracy? 
Freda Wallis 
Fort Bragg, California 


DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR 

subscribe to вглувоу, as do 
ners in the church. I do 
with all of your Philosophy. 


1 now 


и 1 will defend to the 
death your right to say it.” 


The following is from a recent sermon 
с: 


The censor is saying, "Г am moral- 
Ју perfect, you are not; therefore E 
will tell you what you may read, 
and sec, and say, and what you may 


not." Of such is the basis for almost. 
all movements to destroy freedom. 
Give these self-appointed gods and 
goddesses a chance and there is 
no stopping them. Much better to 
never censor. Not anywhere, or 
n any way. My 1 freedon 
and in this n: h was born 
with the quest of freedom in its 
breast and faith in God, who created 
man. One cannot believe in free 
man and believe also in censorship. 
Even mor 
life and his economic 
sonal life must be fre 
his taste and sexua 
expression, For those whom we may 
call sick there is psychiatry that can 
. But the censor only 
the illness and reflects the cesspools 
of his own mind. People were often 
motivated in the slaying of heretics 
by the fact that the heret 
pressed. ideas that had been re- 
pressed in the minds of those doing 
the killing. Need one n 
more about the censor? I ask, * 
delusion of grandeur is there in the 
mind of he who would allow him- 
sell да be the censor for anotl 
Such admission of bel 
tence escapes description 


The Rev. Vance E. Frank 
First Universalist Chureh 
Lyons, Ohio 


say 


ved on 


THE GINZBURG CASE 

1 was amused 10 read in Censorship (а 
quarterly journal reporting on "censor 
ship of ideas and the ars" around the 
world) that even a Justice Department 
lawyer was dismayed by the G 
decision. I refer to ра 
mer 1966 issu: 
ernment attorney is quoted as saying. " 
aghast at the importance piven 
something that really was not covered by 
the case, argued by the lawyers or 
charged in the indictment.” He refers 10 
the “pandering in advertising" gimmick, 
which the Warren Court pulled out of 
their hat at the last minute to justify 
zbur's sentence. The Justice De 
partment man is quite right. This issue 
was not argued by the lawyers ог 
charged in the indictment. Justice Black 
said of this gimmick, remember: “The 
fact is that Ginzburg . . . is now finally 
and authoritatively condemned to serve 


where the ui 


was 


THE NEW TASTE IN SMOKING 


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mild and flavorful you'll have | 
trouble keeping it from “her 


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Changeable bowl. 
Metal grate suspends 

tobacco, $3.95. 


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$4.95. 


Duo-Lined 
Double lining 
of reat honey. 
$5.95. 


Yello Bole is made for men who like their smoking 
rich and full flavored. To create this unique taste 
the bowl is pre-caked with a new-formula honey 
lining. This gentles the smoke. Smooths the taste. 
Enriches the flavor. So effective—the imported 
briar bowl is guaranteed against burn-out. 

Available in a variety of shapes, $2.50 to $7.50. 


45 


PLAYBOY 


46 


five years in prison for distributing mat- 
ter about sex which neither Ginsburg 
nor anyone cle could possibly have 
known to be criminal.” 

Jim Smith 

Los Angeles, California 


A VOYEUR'S STORY 

Iam a voyeur. A Pceping "Tom, if you 
will. I do not understand the comp 
sion that draws me to a lighted bedroom 
window. Perhaps once, long ago, it was 
no more than childish curiosity concern- 
& the mysteries of sex. I suppose 1 
should seek psychiatric help, but I have 
no wish to expose my shameful behavior 
to a stringer who may not really be able 
to help me at ай. 

On four occasions І have been arrest- 
са Гог window-peeping in this country. 
Alter three arrests I went to Latin Amer. 
ica. Throughout six years in Mexico a 
Pan 
peep. Hard-core pornography was read 
ly available in the form of movies, books 
and photos. Му voycuristic tendencies 
were satisfied and my sex life became 
normal and well adjusted. Shortly after 
my return home, I was arrested for the 
fourth time. A voyeur will find an ow 


d 
ma, not once did I [eel an urge to 


let. Pornography is extremely difficult to 
| America. Daily we are tor- 
the 


obtain 
mented by 


jon in 


aal impli 


advertising field through all commun 
ions medi: 


At the same time, we are 
denied access to any “sight” fulfillment 
to this tremendous yolume of implied 
sexuality 
Contrary to censorial opinion, voyeur- 
ism is not a result of pornography. The 
mind of the voyeur is already malad- 
justed. On the other hand, pornography 
is an adequate substitute for the bed- 
room window for various reasons: (1) No 
waiting is involved: (2) There is no ті 
(3) There is no possibility of disappoint- 
ment: (4) Shame is greatly reduced. 
lowing for better social adjustment 
Laws cannot change the basi 
of the voyeur. He realizes he 
al. Pornography can contain his sexual 
deviation. His desire for pornography is 
n no way harmful to other people. On 
the contrary, they no longer have to wor- 
ry about him. A Peeping Tom with a 
pornographic outlet ceases to be a Реер- 
ig Tom. The censor should stop kid- 
ding himself that prohibition is а cure, 
(Name withheld by request) 
Columbia, South Carolin 


ANTHROPOLOGIST'S VIEW 
Dr. M. F. Ashley Montagu—one of 
the most respected anthropologists in the 
world—has recently endorsed the healthi- 
ness and goodness of premarital sex. I 
quote Dr. Montagu's own words from the 
December 1960 issue of Sexology: 


The “facts” about the bees, the 
birds and the beasts may be very 
teresting, as may those about hu- 


man beings, but they are p 
of no value in helping anyone to 
learn the skills and techniques of 
sex, in the only way in which 
such techniques and skills сап be 
learned. 

In Scandinavia, and particularly 
in Sweden, this has long been rec- 
ognized and young people are 
encouraged to acquire the practical 
experience of sex 
healthy manner. 
strongly 
tween steady friends, who т, 
off together for the weckend or 
longer with the blessings of th 
parents, has long been customary, 
without causing cither the collapse 
of these societies or having any- 
thing but the most beneficial effects 
upon everyone concerned . . . 

It would, Г am convinced, greatly 
contribute to the mental health and 
stability of our society were adoles- 
cents permitted the self-development 


tically 


and self-discipline of premarital 
sex. Not the encouragement ОГ 
licent or promiscuity, but 


the encouragement in the growth 
and development of a mature and 
healthy personality. A growth and 
devdopment in which the experi- 
ence of sex as the beautiful and 
greatly humanizing event it can 
be plays its necessary and proper 
тое... 


58 


One remembers, with some pain, that 
this opinion was expressed by Dr. Leo 
Koch a few years ago, and all hell broke 
loose. Driven out of his job the Un 
versity of Illinois, Dr. Koch was reduced 
to poverty for a few years, at one point 
supporting himself and his family as a 
gardener, and he only made a comeback 
when he founded his own school in 
Stony Brook, New York. If less fire-and- 
brimstone descends on Dr. Montagu, it 
will be, in my opinion, only partly due to 
his world-y ntific reputation. 
ol the credit will have to go to the new 
climate of tolerance aeated by Hugh 
Hefner and The Playboy Philosophy. 

Ben Schwartz 
New York, New York 


Е PLURIBUS EUNUCH 

Thomas Carter, the FBI clerk who 
was fired for having a girl in his ap: 
ment overnight (The Playboy Forum, 
August), has lost the first round of his 
battle for reinstatement. You might find 
Washington Post account of his 
ring rather amusing, in an ironic sort 
of way: 


A lawyer in District Court ripped 
into the FBI yesterday for firing a 
fingerprint clerk because he spent 
two nights with his d 
little premarital necking.” 

Thomas H. Carter “lost his job 
for doing what 90 percent of the 


population does." argued attorney 
hard M. Millman, citing the 
Kinsey Report n impassioned 
but unsuccessful plea belore Judge 


Alexander — Holuoll to reinste 
Carter. 
Holtzoff dismissed the Carter 


complaint in its entirety. Millman 
said he would appcal. 

Сох nt attorney Joseph M 
Hannon rose to the FBI's defense: 

"When the mothers of America 
read that Mr, Millman and Dr, Kin 
sey believe irs all for their 
daughters t0 spend two nights in 
the same bed with a man, I'm 
afraid ай the doors throughout. the 
nation are going to be locked." 

The from 
admission 10 the 
FBI that his fiancée from Texas had 
spent two nights in his Oxon Hill 
partment last summer. He denied 
g sexual relations with her. 

The FBI first learned of the 
dent when it received an 
mous letter. accu 
g with gi 
tment.” Hanon said . 

“I don't know whether it was im- 
moral" observed Judge  Holtzolf, 
“but it was highly indiscreet. . . . 
Two people were sleeping in a 
room. They were apparently observed 
by someone who was scandalized by 
it" and wrote the anonymous letter. 


ige stemmed 


Where does this leave us? McCarthy 


chased out the homosexuals; now, it 
seems, the heterosexuals are next to go. 
Who does that leave to maintain the 


helm of our gallant ship of state? The 


eunuchs? 
(Name withheld by request) 
Washington, D. C. 


PRIMATE “PROSTITUTION” 

In considering the question of prosti- 
tution, it is essential that we grasp Ше 
ificance of its origins. To do this, we 
r deeper than Babylonian or 
gies or ancient fertility rites. Prostitution 
(the offering of sexual favors in retum 
for material benefits) exists in the ani 
world among the Primates. Since ma 
Primate, we must therefore recognize 
that prostitution is а part of our overall 
inheritance from our Питу ancestors. Аз 
such, it can never be discarded as long 
as our species survives, no matter how 
much wishful thinking we indulgi 

When a modern girl marries for 
wealth and/or status, malicious tongues 
re apt to say that she is prostituting hi 
Г, probably unaware how near the 
truth they are. For, let's not kid ou 
selves, that if exactly what she is doing 
and there ural or surpris- 
ing about it. She is simply obeying a 
powerful female instinct shared by our 
cousins the gibbons and monkeys and 
baboons for many millions of years. We 


nis 


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сап по more suppress prostitution than 
we cin any of our other inherited 
instincts. 


С. N. Cleaver 
Panis, France 

Although the monkey business 4 
describe is confirmed by specialists in 
Primate behavior, it is incorrect to de- 
clare that the human prostitute is “obey- 
ing a powerful female instinct” that is 
“part of our over-all inheritance from our 
furry ancestors.” An instinct is a native 
or hereditary factor in behavior. Among 
the Primates, including humans, the raw 
sex drive itself is instinctive, but те 
trading of sex for favors is an acquired, 
not a hereditary, form of conduct. Dr. 
John Carpenter, of the Primate Labora- 
tory and Research Genter at the Unio 
suy of Wisconsin, explained to us that it 
is standard practice to consider any kind 
of animal behavior instinctive only if it 
cannot be explained in any other way. 
In the behavior described here, accord- 
ing to Dr. Carpenter, there ате so many 
obvious rewards to be gained by the fe- 
male—betler food, escape from punish- 
ment, etc—by offermg herself to the. 
male at appropriate times that there is 
ту reason to believe that the behavior 
is learned. 

Homosexuality has also been observed 
among the apes, but we can hardly rea- 
son from this that human homosexuals 
are obeying an ancient Primate instinct. 
Such an explanation would not account 
for nonhomosexual humans (and non- 
homosexual apes). The same objection 
arises against your theory of prostitution. 
The form that the inherited sex drive 
takes depends on learning experience, 
and since man has the largest forebrain 
among the Primates, the role of learning 
is correspondingly that much greater т 
determining his sexual. behavior. 

We do agree, however, that prostitu- 
поп will always exist among humans— 
but for reasons not related to 


genetics. 
As Benjamin and Masters point out in 
their authoritative “Prostitution and Mo- 
rality," No punishment—not even tor- 
fure. or death—has banished Ше 
whore [rom human society. Most men, 
some of the time, and some men. most of 
the ите, will find other sexual outlets 
unavailable or unsatisfactory and will 
seck prostilules. And there will always 
be women, who from need or from 
greed, will answer the demand, 


ever 


GOD IS DEAD 
I am in subst 


tial di 


igrecment with 


the school of theologians who espouse 
the “dea 
ti: 


God" theology and Chris- 
п atheism, but I was glad to sce Wil- 
m Hamilton's article in the pages of 
praynoy (August), because I believe it 
will prompt discussion among a broad 
spectrum than might be reached through 
urch publications or the more esoteric 
magazines. It should get people to talk 


about God and Hamilton's ideas, which 
I thi good thing. no matter what 
side readers emerge on! 
The Rev. Walter D. Dennis 
The Cathedral Church of St. 
John the Divine 
Cathedral Heights, New York 


TT those who think the “death-ofGod” 
theology is a threa igion would 
read Hamilton's article, they might find 
the movement to be a call for the re 
newal of religion rather than for its 
destruction 

To Unitarians there is nothing new 
about a sense of the sacred in life with: 
out God, nor of a focus of inspiration in 
the ethical teachings of Jesus of Naza- 
reth, But for most Christian theologians 
this is new. I hope they can exercise the 

Mluence for good that is inherent in 
thcir posi However, the general 
popular rea Милет 
nd the rest 
teristic pessimi 
Christianity. 

Robert C. Р: 
First Unit 
Nashville, Tennessee 


I have trouble understanding the ar 
gument of the so-called “death-ofGod” 
theologians, because 1 am not sure that 
we the same thing by "God." This 
semantic difficulty is perhaps at the root 
of much of the misunderstanding. Bishop 
Jobn Robinson, in his book Honest 
to God, has urged that we drop the u: 
of the word "God" for a few gene 
rediscover its 


in order to 
heartily agri 


Charles B. Gompertz, Vicar 
The Church in Ignacio 
Novato, Californ 


GOD 15 DRUNK 
Г was pleased to see the Reverend Wil 
liam Hamilton's article on the death of 
Cod, but I am almost embarrased to 
have to inform the good Reverend and 
Ш other unenlightened individuals that 
‘death of God" is now a very "oui 
thing. 1 personally have conversed with 
the Deity and found out to my surprise 
that He is not dead at all: He 
After this personal revelation 
sufficiently inspired to spread the truth 
in the form of a new religion called 
Incbredeism. 

This new faith is not ло be confused 
with Inebreism, another fervent 
gious group. It is not necessary to be 
alcoholic to be an Inebredeist; it is, how- 
ever, extremely helpful. 

Unlike other faiths, Incbrede 
based on logic and concre 
An Inebredeist is never asked to take 
anything on faith. Well, almost never. 
Proof is presented in the Timov, our 
holy book. "Observe the pimple! Is that 
the work of a sober deity? Contemplate 


m is 
evidence. 


the result. of a 


that 


the dandruff! Is 
clearheaded. Jehon 


John Parker 
Gainesville, Florida 


WHO SPEAKS FOR THE FETUS? 
You Ксер giving abortion advocates like 

icia Magi space in your Playboy 
Forum (January). but I see little printed 
on the other side. Г was the sole picket 
yester Jolla, California, when 
Miss Maginnis held one of her “do-it- 
yourself abortion classes" in the Quakers’ 
meeting hall. 

Although many representatives of the 
news media covered the affair and had 
nounced it in advance, Miss Maginnis 
was not arrested. Advocating abortion is 
a felony, according to the California 
Penal Code. She admitted she was look- 
ing forward 10 a test case. To me, ше 
penal code is in violation of our consi 
tutional guarantee of free speech, but 
this is not what Г was protesting. One of 
my picket signs read: 1 DEFEND ТО ТНЕ 
DEATH 1) YOUR RIGHT TO SPEAK; (2) THE 
EMBRYO'S IT TO LIVE. 

Other signs I carried read: rwmavos 
OF THE WORLD—HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE 
HERE COMES PAT MAGINNIS; also: PAT 
MAGINNIS: SUPPOSE YOUR MOTHER HAD 
BELIEVED IN ABORTION? 

Du * one of these “lib 
als" defensively shouted: "A fetus is not 
а human being.” At that instant, a small 
infant in iis mother’s arms let out a оці 
"Ahhhh!" That baby typifies my view, 
which is “Wha speaks for the fetus?” 
Who consults it, asks its permission to 
intrude on its Ше? The: 
continually avoid the basic issue. They 
believe life does not begin at conception: 
or if they concede that it does, they still 
judge that Ше to be worth removing! 
"They have long explanations of how the 
want to solve all that embryo's problems 
in this “miserable” world before those 
s have a chance to get started. 
oble! Rather than act on the basis 
of overwhelming. evidence, the way 
sonable people act, they want to act on 
the basi of their belief and judgment. 
‘They are certain they have the right to 
assume the greatest responsibility in this 
world (one that many theologians will 
argue is not ours)—to Create or to destroy 
life. 

Miss Maginnis and her pals constantly 
dwell on the imperfect methods of illegal 


ng the “class, 


abortions and harp on nice, neat ways of 
doing 


the job. This reminds me ol 
dean" H-bombs. What re- 
ionalizations and defense 
people will go through 
10 avoid responsibility and to condone de- 
These irresponsible creeps are 
our national policy—int 
1 violence. VIL fight them all 
the way, in the name of every embryo 
torn out of this world, In 1927, my 
mother rejected an abortion; so I'm here 
(continued on page H1) 


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а candid conversation with the protean actor-writer-producer-director and falstaffian bon vivant 


Our interviewer is England’s eminent 


drama critic Kenneth Tynan, whom 
readers will remember ах the author 
of previous rLAYmov interviews wilh 


Richard Burton and Peter O'Toole, as 
well as several trenchant PLAYBOY arti- 
cles. Of this month's larger-than-life: sub- 
ject, Tynan writes: 
The performing arts have now cn- 
joyed the professional services of George 
Orson Welles for 33 years—ever since 
1931, when he arrived at the Gate Thea- 
ter in Dublin, passed himself off as а 
known actor from the New York 
heater Guild and began playing leads 
at the age of 16. The previous year, just 
before graduating from а pro, 
boys school in Woodstock, Ilinois, he 
had pul an ad in an American trade pa- 
per. 4t read, in part: "ORSON WELLES— 
Stock, Characters, Heavies, Juveniles or 
as сам... . Lots of pep, experience and 
ability. Already George Welles пай be- 
gun to behave as if he were Orson Welles. 

“He was born in Kenosha, Wisconsin, 
im 1915. Both his parenis were then 
approaching middle age. Through his 
mother—an aesthete, a beauty and a tal- 
ented musician—he met Ravel and 
Stravinsky. Through his father—a globe- 
trotting gambler who loved siar quality 
—he met numerous actors, magicians 
and circus performers, The milestones of 
Welles’ career aye. dotted all over the 
landscape of show business in the middle 
decades of the 20ih Century. 

“He had only to train his sights on an 
ан for it to capitulate. Theater fell first. 
Just 30 years ago, he directed a famous 


забие 


all-Negro ‘Macbeth’ in Harlem. Moving 
downtown, he launched the Mercury 
Theater with his modern-dress. produc- 
tion of ‘Julius Caesar, in which Caesar 
was а bald-paled replica of Mussolini. 
Almost in passing, he conquered radio: 
Blood froze all over America when he 
celebrated. Halloween in 1938 with a 
broadcast version of H. С. Wells’ ‘War 
of the Worlds’ The movie industry was 
the next lo surrender. A quarter of a сеп. 
tury has passed since the premiere of 
Citizen Kane! Welles first film; but 
Hollywood seismographs still record the 
tremors left by its impact. Ht gave the 
American cinema an adult vocabulary, 
and in a recent poll of international crit 
ics, it was voted the finest film exer 
made. "The Magnificent Ambersons! 
which followed in 1912. confirmed the ar 
vival of a revolutionary virtuoso. In every 
art he touched, Welles started ai the top. 
That was his trium ph. and also his prob- 
lem. Whenever his name appeared on 
anything less than a masterpiece, people 
instantly said he was slipping 

“During the past 20 years, living 
mainly in Ewope, Welles has been а 
rogue elephant at large in most of the 
performing media. He may turn up in 
Morocco. filming "Othello! on а frayed 
shoestring; in London, directing his own 
brilliant stage adaptation of ‘Moby Dick: 
in Paris. shooting Kafka's "The Tria? in 
a derelict railway station; in Spain, mak- 
ing а still-unfinished movie of ‘Don 
Quixote’; in Yugoslavia or Haly, ham- 
ming away for money im other people's 
bad epics; and cven in Hollywood, where 


in 1958 he made a startling and under 
vated thriller called “Touch of Fvil’ You 
can never tell how or where he will mani- 
fest himself next. In the course of his 
career—apart from writing and directing 
films and plays, and acting in both—he 
has been a novelist, a painter, a ballet sce- 
narist, a conjurer, a. columnist, a televi- 
sion pundit and an amateur bullfighter. 
There's symbolic if not literal truth in the 
story about how he once addressed a thin- 
ly attended meeting of admirers with the 
words: “Isn't it a shame thal there ате so 
many of me and so few of you?” 

“He has grown fat spreading himself 
thin. A passive Прие sculpted in foam 
rubber, he is preceded wherever he goes 


by his belly and an oversized cigar; and 
his presence is immediately signaled, 
even to the blind. by the Bacchic earth- 
quake of his laughter. His first European 
Базе was a villa near Rome, but nowa- 
days he lives with his Hakan wife and 
their daughter Beatrice in an expensive 
suburb of Madrid. Т го be an 
Amevican émigré in Haly’ he says. 
Fm an Malian émigré in Spain? At 51, he 
has long since joined the select group of 
international celebrities whose fame is 
self-sustaining, no matter how widely 
opinions of their work may vary. and no 
matter how much the work itself may 
fluctuate in quality. (Other members of 
the club in recent times have been Chap- 


used. 


lin, Ellington, Cocteau, Picasso and 
Hemingway.) 
“My interview with him took place 


last spring in London. Welles was ap- 
pearing with Peter Sellers and David 


“The theater, like ballet and grand 
Hi still g 
us joy and stimulation, but it isn't an 
institution that belongs to our times, and 
it cannot expect a long ите,” 


opera, is an anachronism 


ves 


“A lot of vices are secret, but not glut- 
fony—it shows. 14 certainly shows on me. 
But 1 feel that it must be less deadly 
than the other sins. At least it celebrates 
some of the good things of life. 


“H takes a big effort for те to persuade 
myself that anything bad 1 read about 
myself isn't true. J have a primitive re- 
spect for the printed word as it applies 
to те. especially if it's negative.” 


53 


PLAYBOY 


54 


Niven in ‘Casino Royale’ [see last 
month's PLavwoy), the James Bond film 
that has evcrything but Sean Connery. 
Chavacteristically, Welles had insisted оп 
living in a furnished apartment directly 
over the Mirabelle, one of the most ex- 
pensive and arguably the best yestaurant 
т London. Thus, he could be sure of 
gourmet room service, Empty caviar 
pots adorned every table. Imposingly 
swathed in the robes of a Buddhist 
priest, he sipped Dom Pérignon cham 
pagne and talked far into the night. 

“Shortly afterward, Welles took his 
Falstaff film, ‘Chimes at Midnight’ [ve- 
leased in the U. S. as “Falstaff"], to the 
Cannes Festival. Nol all the critics were 
ecstatic; one said that Welles was the 
only actor who ever had to slim down to 
play Falstaff. But the jury reacted warm- 
ly; and so did the audience at the prize 
giving ceremony, which began with the 
announcement of a special award lo ‘M. 
Orson Welles, for his contribution to 
world cinema.’ Jeers and whistles greet- 
ed many of the other prizes; but for this 
one, everybody rose—avant-garde critics 
and commercial producers alike—and 
clapped with their hands held over their 
heads. The ovation lasted for minutes, 
Welles beamed and sweated on the 
stage of the Festival Palace, looking like 
a melting iceberg and occasionally tilting 
forward in something that approximated 
a Бош. 

“Later, at his hotel, he talked with me 
about his next production— Treasure 
Island} im which he would play Long 
John Silver. Then he would complete 
“Don Quixote’ and make a film of ‘King 
Lear? After that, there were plenty of 
other projects in hand. ‘The bee, he said 
happily, ‘is always making honey. 


PLAYBOY: You've been a celebrity now for 
30 years. In all that time, whar's the 
most accurate description anyone has 
given of you? 
WELLES: I don't want any description of me 
ccurate; I want it to be flattering, 
I don't think people who have to sing for 
their supper ever like to be described 
wuthfully—not in print, anyway. We 
need to sell tickets, so we need good 
reviews, 
PLAYBOY: ln р 
the pleasintest tl 
about yourself 
WELLES: Roosevelt ing that I would 
have been a great politician. Barrymore 
saying that Chaplin and myself were the 
two finest living actors. I don't mean that 
I believe those things, but you used the 
word “pleasant.” What I really enjoy is 
fanery in the suburbs of my work— 
about things I'm not mainly or even 
professionally occupied with. When an 
old bullfighter tells me I'm one of the 
few people who understand the bulls, or 
when a magician says I'm a good п 
that tickles the ego without having 
anything to do with the box office. 
PLAYBOY: Of all the comm written or 


what's 
heard 


с conversatio! 
you ever 


spoken, that have been made about you, 
which has displeased you the most? 

wenes: Nothing spoken. It’s only written 
things 1 mind—for example, everything 
Walter Kerr ever wrote about me. It takes 
a big effort for me to persuade myself that 
d I read about myself i 


ve a primitive respect for the 


pplics to me, espe- 


being described in Denver, when I was 
playing Marchbanks in Candida at thc 
ge of 18, ning in a 
basso profundo." "That was more than 30 
years ago, and I can still quote the review 
verbatim. I can never remember the 
good ones. Probably the bad ones hurt 
so much and so morbidly because I've 


тип the store so long. I've been ап actor- 
manager in radio, films and the theater; 
nd in a very immediate way, Гус been 


economically dependent on what's written 
about me, so that I worry about how 
much it's going to affect the gross. Or 
maybe that’s just a justification Гог 
hypersensitivity. 
PLAYBOY: Talking about critics, you once 
complained: “They don't review my 
, they review me." Do you feel that's 
5 
WELLES: Yes—but I suppose I shouldn't 
kick about it. I earn a good livi 
get a lot of work because of this 
lous myth about me. But the price of it is 
that when I try to do something serious, 
something 1 care about, a great many 
critics don't review that particular work, 
but me in general They write their 
standard Welles piece. Its either the 
good piece or the bad piece, but they're 
both fairly standard. 
PLAYBOY: In an cra of increasing speciali- 
zation, you've expressed yourself in almost 
every artistic medium. Haye you never 
wanted 10 specialize? 
WELLES: No, I can't imagine limiting my 
self. It's a great shame that we live in an 
of specialists, and I think we give 
them too much respect. I've known four 
or five great doctors in my id they 
have always told me that medicine is still 
primitive state and that they know 
hardly anything about it. I've known only 
пе great cameraman—Gregg Toland, 
who photographed Citizen Kane. He 
said he could teach me everything about 
the came four hours—and he did. I 
don't believe the specialist is all that our 
epoch cracks him up to be 
PLAYBOY: Is it possible nowa 
Rena an—someone who's equally 
at home in the arts and the sciences? 
nd it’s also necessary. 
problem ahead of us to- 
- We have то get all these 


ance и: 


of them. The wildest kind of lunacy is to 
go wandering up some single street. It's 
better not only for the individual but for 


society that our personal horizons should 
be as wide as possible. What а normally 
intelligent person can’t learn—if he's 


genuinely alive and honestly curious— 
ally worth learning. For instance, 
des knowing something about Eliza- 
bethan drama, I think I could also make 
ab at explaining the basic principles 
of nucli fission—a fair enough stab to 
be living in the world today. I don't just 
say: "That's a mystery that ought to bc 
left to the scientists." Of course, I don't 
mean that I'm ready to accept a key post 
in national defense. 

PLAYBOY: Since World War Two, you've 
lived and worked mostly outside the 
United States. Would you call yourself 
ап expatriate? 

WELLES: I don't like that word. Since child- 
hood, I've always regarded myself as an 
American who happens to live all over 
the place, “Expatriate” is a dated word 
that relates to a particular 1920ish gc 
eration and to a romantic attitude 
living abroad. I'm prejudiced against the 
word rather than the fact. I might very 


well cease 10 be an American citizen 
someday, but simply because, if you're 
forming a production company in E 


s economically helpful to be 
T'm not young enough to bcar 


rope, i 
Europe. 


arms for my country, so why shouldn't I 


live where I like and where I get the 
most work? After all, London is full of 
Hungarians and Germans 
men, and America is full of everybody— 
and they aren't called expatriates. 
PLAYBOY: Isn't it шие that you chose to 
live in Europe because the U.S. Govan- 
ment refused to allow you tax deduction: 
on Ше losses you suffered in your 1946 
Broadway production of Around the 
World in Righty Days? 

WELLES: My tax problems began at that 
time, but that wasn't why I went to E 
rope. I spent many of these years in Ew 
rope paying the Government back 
T lost. which they wouldn't 
а loss because of some 
g in Europe; 


that mone 
let me write off 
bad bookkeeping. I like livi 


Im not a refugee. 
PLAYBOY: You aren't a Catholic, yet you 
decided to live in two intenscly Catholic 
countries—first Italy and now Spain 
Why? 

WELLES: This has nothing to do with ге! 
gion. The Meditei in culture is more 
generous, less guiltridden. Any society 
that exists without natural gaiety, with 
ош some sense of case in the presence ol 
death, is one in which I am not im. 


menscly comfortable. I don't condemn 
that very northern, very Protestant world 
of artists like Ingmar Bergman; it’s just 


not where I live. The Sweden I like to 
visit is a lot of fun. But Bergman's Swe- 
den always reminds me of something 
Henry James said about Ibsen's Norway 
—that it was full of “the odor of spiritual 
paraffin.” How I sympathize with that! 

PLAYBOY: If you could have picked any 
country and period in which to be born, 
would you have chosen America in 19152 
WELLES: И wouldn't have been all that low 
on my list, but anyone in their senses 


T —— 
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would have wanted to live in the golden 
age of Greece, in 15 Century Italy ог 
Elizabethan England. And there were 
other golden ages. Persia had one and 
China 1 four or five. Ours is an ех 
traordinary age, but it doesn't even look 
very silver to me. I think I might have 
been happier and more fulfilled in other 
jods and places—including Ате: 
at about the time when we started 
putting up roofs instead of tents. 
PLAYBOY: Arc there any figures in Ameri 
can history you identify with? 

ost Americans, I wish I had 
but 1 don't. I can't. 
imagine myself being capable of any 
such goodness or compassion. I guess 
the only great American whose role 1 
might conceivably have occupied is Tom 
ic. Hc was a radi а uuc le- 
xdent—not in the comfortable, present 
day liberal sense, but in the good, tough 
sense that he was prepared то go to jail 
for it. 105 been my luck, good or bad, not 
to have been faced with that choice. 
PLAYBOY: Your parents separated when 
you were six, but you traveled widely 
with yom mother, who died two years 
later. You then went arou па 
with your father you 
were fifteen, What places do you remem- 
ber most vividly from this early globe 
trotting period? 

WELLES: Berlin had about three good years, 


id the wi 
who died when 


from 1926 onward, and so did Chicago 
bout the same time. Buc the best cities 
were certainly Budapest and Peking. 


They had the best talk and the most ас 
tion right up to the end, But I can't for- 
get a party I attended somewhere in the 
‘Tyrol some time in the mid Twenties. I 
was on a walking tour with several oth 
little boys, and our tutor took us to cat at 
a big openair beer garden. We sat at a 
table with a lot of Nazis, who wer 
then a little-known bunch of cranks, and 
placed next to a small man with 
a very dim personality. He made по 

presion on me at the time, but later, 
I saw his pictures, I realized that I 
had lunched with Adolf Hitler. 
PLAYBOY: In many of the films you've writ- 
ten and directed, the hero has no father. 
We know nothing about Citizen Капез 
father: and George, in The Magnificent 
Ambersons, ruins the life of his widowed 
mother by forbiddi 


her to remarry. 1 


ло ds 
legitimate father, 
Henry IV of England, is a murderous 
usurper: but his spiritual father, whom 
you play yousele 
WELLES: Is Falstaff. 

PLAYBOY: Righi. Does this atitude toward. 
fathers reflect anything in your own life? 
k so. I had а father 
enormously likable 
tive. He was а gambler, 
playboy who may have been getting a 
bit old for it when I knew n, but he 
a rvelous fellow, and it was a 
great sorrow to me when he died. No, a 


story interests me on its own merits, not 
because it's autobiographical. The Fal- 
stalt story is the best in Shakespeare— 
not the best play, but the best story. The 
richness of the triangle between the fa 
ther and Falstaff and the son is without 
parallel: it's a complete Shakespearean 
creation. The other plays are good sto 
ries borrowed from other sources 
made great because of what Shakesp 
breathed into them. But there's nothing 
in the medieval chronicles that even 
hints at the Falstafl-Hal-King story. 
That's Shakespeare's story. and Falstaff 
is entirely his creation. He’s the only 
great character in dramatic literature 
who is also good. 

PLAYBOY: Do you agree with W. H. Au- 
den, who once likened him to а Christ 
figure 
WELLES: 1 won't argue with t 
my flesh always creeps when people use 
the word "Christ" I th fE is like 
a Christmas tree decorated with vices. 
The wee itself is total innocence and 
love. By contrast, the king is decorated 


„ although 


only with kingliness. He's a pure 
Machiavellian, And there's something 
beady-eyed and selEregarding about his 


son—even when he reaches his apothe- 
osis as Henry V. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think Falstaff is likely 
to outrage Shakespeare lovers? 

WELLES: Well, I've always edited Shake- 
speare, and my other Shakespearean 
films have sullered critically for just that 
reason. Cod knows what will happen 
with this one. In the case of Macbeth or 
Othello. Y tried to make a single play 
nto a filmscript. In Falstaff, Гус taken 
five plays—Richard 11, the two parts of 


Henry IV, Hemy V and The Merry 
Wives of Windsor—and turned them 
into an entertainment lasting less. than 


two hours. Naturally, I'm going to offend 
the kind of Shakespeare lover whose main 
concern is the sacredness of the text, But 
with people who are willing to concede 
that movies are a separate art form, Ihave 
some hopes of succes. After all, when 
Verdi wrote Falstaff and Otello, nobody 
criticized him for radically changin, 
Shakespeare. Larry Olivier has made fin 
Shakespearean movies that are essent 
ly filmed Shakespearean plays; I 
Shakespea 

make motion pictures. 
tions on his themes. In Falstaff, I've gon 
much further than ever before, but not 
willfully, not for the fun of chopping 
and dabbling, If you see the history plays 


1 
usc 
words and characters to 
They are varia 


съ 


night after night in the theater, you 
discover a continuing story about 
delinquent prince who turns into a grea 


military capta p. and 
alstalf, the prince's spiritual father, who. 
isa kind of secular saint. It finally culmi: 
nates in the rejection of Falstaff by the 
prince. My film is entirely truc to that 
story, although it sacrifices great parts of 
the plays from which the story is mined 
PLAYBOY: Does the film have a "messa 


a usurping К 


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58 


WELLES: It laments the death of chivalry 
and the rejection of merry England. 
Even in Shakespeare's day, the old Eng 
land of the greenwood and Maytime was 
already a myth, but a very real опе. The 
rejection of Falstaff by the pi 
the rejection of that England by a new 
kind of England that Shakespeare de- 
plored—an England that ended up аз 


по excuse for the betrayal of a fri 
ship. It’s the liberation of that story th 
justifies my surgical approach to the text. 
PLAYBOY: May we check on a few of the 
popular rumors about you? It's been said 
that your picuures always go over the 
budget. True or fals 
WELLES: False. I'm mot an overspender, 
though I've sometimes been a delayed 
earner, Citizen Kane, for instance, cost 
about $850,000. I've no idea how much 
profit it’s made by now, but it must be 
plenty. That profit took time, and it 
didn't go to me. All the pictures I've d 
rected have been made within their 
budgets. The only exception was a docu- 
mentary about South America that I 
started in 1942, just after I finished 
shooting The Magnificent Ambersons. I 
was asked to do it by the Government 
for no salary but with 51,000,000 to 
spend. But it was the studio’s топсу. not 
and the studio fired 
when I'd spent $600,000, on the 
is that I was throwing money away. 
when the legend started. "The stu- 
ма lot of dough and a lot of 


the Governme 
me 


Another pre 
you have Ше power 
that true? 

WELLES: Well, if it exists, I s ave 
if it dosn't exist, I have the thing 
thats mistaken for it. I've told people 


their futures in a terrifying way some- 
times—and please understand that 1 
hae fortunetelling. 105 meddlesome, 


dangerous and a mockery of free will— 
the most important doctrine man has 
teller once in 


in the theater. As a 
tume magician, I'd met a lot of semi- 
i racketeers and learned Ше 
tricks of the professional seers. I took an 
apartment in а cheap district and put up 

keapINes—and every day I 
went there, put on a turban and told for- 
tunes. At first I used. what are called 
“cold readings"; that's a technical term 
for things you say to people that are 
bound to impress them and put them ой 
their guard, so that they start telling you 
things about themselves. A typical cold 
а 


ng is to say that you have a scar on 
your knee. Everybody has a scar on their 
knee, because everybody fell down as a 
child. Another one is to say that a big 
change took place in your attitude to- 
d life between the ages of 12 and 14 
But in the last two or three days, 1 
stopped doing the wicks and just talked. 


А woman came in wearing a bright 
dress. As soon as she sat down, I said, 
“You've just lost your husband"; and she 
burst into tears. I believe that I saw and 
deduced things that my conscious mind 
not record. But consciously, I just 
said the first thing that came into my 
head, and it was true. So I was well оп 
the way to contracting the fortuneteller's 
occupational disease, which is to start 


believing elf; to become what 
they call a And that's 
dangerous. 

PLAYBOY: A third charge often leveled 


gainst you is that you dissipate too 
much energy in talk. The English critic 
ай Connolly once said that conversa- 
tion, for an artist, was “a ceremony of 
self-wastage.” Does that phrase give you 
а pang? 

WELLES: No, but it reminds me of Thorn- 
ton Wilder and his theory of “capsule 
conversations.” He used to say to me: 
“You must stop wasting your energy, Ог- 
son. You must do what 1 do—have capsule 
conversations.” Just as a comic can do 
мес minutes of his mother-in-la: 
Thornton could do three minutes on 
Gertrude Stein or Lope de Vega. That's 
how he saved his energy. But 1 don't be- 
lieve that you have more energy if you 
save it. It isn't a priceless juice that has 
to be kept in a secret bottle. We're social 
mals, and good conversation—not 
just рапойпа slogans and vogue words 
—is an essential part of good livi 
doesn't behoove any artist to 
what Ве has to oller as somet 
aluable that not a second of it should 
be fritered away in talking to his chums. 
PLAYBOY: It's also been said th 
spend 100 much time in the com 
ski bums and pretenders to Middle 
:uropean thrones. Do you agree? 
WELLES: I don't know many people 
either of those categories. Those that Г 
do know are all right, but they're cer- 
tainly not my constant companion 
However, | have nothing against being 
known as а friend of алу sort of person. 
PLAYBOY: A good deal of space and ус 
eration is lavished on you in such avant- 
garde movie magazines as Cahiers du 
Cinéma. What do yo k of the New 
Wave French directors so admired by 
these journals? 

WELLES: I'm longing to see their work! I've 
missed most of it because I'm afraid it 
might inhibit my own. When I make a 
picture, I don’t like it to refer to other 
tures; I like to think I'm inventing 
everything lor the first time. I talk 10 
Cahiers du Cinéma about movies in gen- 
eral because Em so pleased that they like 
ıe. When they want long hi 
interviews, Г haven't the heart to refuse 
them. Bur irs a complere act. Im a 
fraud: 1 even talk about “the art of the 
nema.” І would talk to my friends 
about the art of the cinema—I'd rather 
be caught without my pants in thc 
middle of Times Square. 


PLAYBOY: How do you feel about the films 
of Antonioni? 

WELLES: According to a young American 
critic, one of the great discoveries of our 
age is the value of boredom as an artistic 
subject. If that is so, Antonioni deserves 
to be counted as a pioncer and founding 
ather. His movies are perfect back- 
grounds for fashion models. Maybe there 
aren't backgrounds that good in Vogue, 
but there ought to be. They ought to get 
Antonioni to design them. 

PLAYBOY: And what about Fellini? 
WELLES: He's as gifted as anyone making 
pictures today. His limitation—which is 
also the source of his charm—is that he’s 
fundamentally very prov films 
al small-town boy's dream of the big 
city. His sophistication works because it's 
the creation of someone who docsn't have 
it. But he shows dangerous signs of being 
a superlative artist with little to say. 
PLAYBOY: Ingmar Bergman? 

WELLES: As I suggested а while ago, I share 
neither his interests nor his obsessions. 
He's far more foreign to me than the 
J 
PLAYBOY: How about contemporary Amer- 
i rectors? 

Stanley Kubrick and Richard Les- 
ter are the only ones that appeal to mc— 
except for the old masters. By which 1 
mean John Ford, John Ford and John 
Ford. 1 don't regard. Alfred Hitchcock 
as an American director, tho he's 
worked in Hollywood for all these years. 
He seems to me tremendously Engli: 
the best Edgar Wallace tradition 
more. There's always something 
dotal about his work; his con aces 
теш contrivances, matter how mar- 
velously the ed and executed. 
honestly believe that Hitchcock 
is a director whose pictures will be of 
ny interest a hundred years from now. 
With Ford at his best, you feel that the 
movie lived and breathed in a real 
world, even though it тау have been 
by Mother Machrec. With 


wood in 1940, the big studios were still 
omnipotent. Do you think you'd have 


fared better if you'd arrived 20 years 
luer, in the era of independent 
productions? 

wettes: The very opposite. Hollywood 
died on me as soon as I got there. I wish 
to God I'd gone there sooner. It was the 
rise of the independents that was my 
ruin as a director. The old studio bosses 
ck Warner, Sam Goldwyn, Darryl 
Zanuck, Harry Cohn—3were all friends, 
ог friendly enemics I knew how to deal 
with. They all offered me work. Louis B. 
Mayer even wanted me to be the pro- 
duction chief of his studio—the job Dore 
Scharv took. I was in great shape with 
those boys. The minute the independ 
ents got in, I never directed another 
American picture except. by acadent. If 
Id gone to Hollywood in the last five 


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years, virgin and unknown, I could have 
written my own ticket. But I'm not a vir- 
gin; I drag my myth around with me, 
and Гус had much more trouble with the 
independents than I сусг had with 
the big studios. | was a maverick, but 
the studios understood what that meant, 
and if there was a light, we both enjoyed 
it. With an annual output of 40 pictures 
per studio, there would probably Бе 
room for one Orson Welles picture. But 
an independent is a fellow whose work is 
centered around his own particular gilts. 
In that setup, there's по place for me. 
PLAYBOY: ls it possible to learn how to 
direct movies? 

WELES: Oli, the various technical jobs can 
be taught, just as you can teach the prin- 
ciples of grammar and rhetoric. But you 
can't teach w nd directing а pic 
ture is very much like writing, except 
that it involves 300 people and a great 
many more skills. A director has to func- 
tion like a commander in the field in 
time of battle. You need the same ability 
to inspire, terrify, encourage, reinforce 
and generally dominate. So it’s partly a 
question of personality, which isn't so 
easy to acquire as а skill. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think it would help if 
there were a Federally subsidized film 
school in the United State: 
Weles: If they made movies instead. of 
talking about making movies, and if all 
classes on theory were rigorously forbid- 
den, I could imagine a film school being 
very valuable, indeed. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think mo 
ought to be aided by public money, as it 
is in many Furopean countries: 
WELLES: If it is truc—and 1 believe it is— 
that the theater and opera and music 
should be subsidized by the state, then 
it's equally true of the cinema, only more 
so. Films are more potent socially and 
have more to do with this particular mo- 
ment in world history. The biggest 
moncy should go to the cinema. It needs 
more and has more to say. 
PLAYBOY: What do you sce 
development in the cinema? 
WELLES: I hope it does develop, that's all. 
There hasn't been any major revolution 
in films in more than 20 years, and with- 
out a revolution, stagnation sets in and 
decay is just around the corner. 1 hope 
some brand-new kind of moviemaking 
will arise. But before that happens, some 
form of making films more cheaply and 
showing them more cheaply will have to 
be evolved. Otherwise, the big revolu- 
tion won't take place and the film artist 
will never be free, 

PLAYBOY: Given world-wide distribution, 
do you think any film could change the 
course of history? 

WELLES: Yes. And it might be a very bad 
film. 

PLAYBOY: Let's turn to the theater. Five 
years ago vou said, "London is the 
lors city, Paris is the playwright's city 
and New York is the director's city." Do 


ie production 


as the next 


you sull agree with that judgment? 
WELLES: Today, ГА say that New York is 
David Merrick’s city. Paris has ceased to 
be interesting at all as far as theater is 
concerned. London is still the great 
place for actors—but not for actresses. 
The English theater is a man's world. 
“London is a man’s town, there’s power 
in the And Paris is a woman's town, 
with flowers in her hair." I don't know 
who wrote that terrible old poem, but It 
continues to be truc. Nobody in England 
writes great parts for women. 

PLAYBOY: Have you any unfulfilled theat 
rical ambitions? 

WELLES: I'd like to run a theater school, but 
not—and it makes me very sad to say 
this—not in America. Especially not in 
New York. Two generations of American 
actors have been so besoucd by Ше 
Method that they have a builtin re 
ance to any other approach to theater. T 
don't want to drive the Method out of 
New York, but I wish it would move 
over and leave room for a few other 
ideas about acting. The last time I tried 
to work in New York, I found no one 
who wasn't touched by it 
PLAYBOY: Do you think American 
are equipped to play the classics? 
WELLES: They should be, but they're less 
able to than they were when we were 
running the Mercury Theater around a 
quarter of a century ago. Part of the rea 
son is that New York was a much more 
cosmopolitan city in those days. We 
were still within speaking distance of the 
age when it was called the melting pot. 
People were still first- and second gencr- 
tion Europeans, and there was a genu 
ine internationalism that did not come 
from the mass media. It just came from 
Unde Joc having been born in a Warsaw 
suburb, and. there were foreign-language 
theaters and I don't know how many 
foreign-language newspapers. All this 
gave a fertilizing richness to the earth 
that has now gone, New York has become 
much more standardized. Nowadays i 
a sort of premixed manhattan cocktail, 
with a jigger of Irishness, Jewishness, 
WASP, and so forth. And that’s your 
modern New Yorker, no matter. where 
his grandfather came from. He may be 
just as nice a guy, but he isn’ 
PLAYBOY: Have you any predictions about 
the future of the theater in gene 
weues: I believe that the theater, like 
ballet and grand opera, is already an 
achronism. It still gives us joy and 
stimulation; it sull offers the artist 
chance to do important work—quali 
tively, perhaps, work as good as has ever 
been done, Bur it isn’t an institution that 
and it cannot сх 
a long future, It's not true that we've 
s had the theater. "That's a dream 
We've had it for only a few periods of 
history, no matter what its partisans say 
to the contrary. And the theater as we 
know it is now in its last stages. 
PLAYBOY: Looking back on your career in 


tors 


" 


belongs to our time 


What gives 
Tareyton the 
taste worth 
fighting for ? 


rather fight U 
than switch!” 


PLAYBOY 


62 


the performing arts, do you ever regret 
that you didn't go into politics? 
WELLES: Sometimes very bitterly. There was 
a time when I considered running as a 
junior Senator from Wisconsin; my орро- 
nent would have been a fellow called Joe 
McCarthy. If you feel that vou might 
have been useful and effective in public 
office, you can't help being disappointed 
in yourself for never having tried it. And 
I Пацег myself Изи I might have been. I 
think I am—at least potentially—a bet- 
ter public speaker than an actor, and I 
might have been able to reach people. to 
move and convince them. Oratory today 
is an almost nonexistent art, but if we 
lived in a society where rhetoric sc- 
iously considered as an art—as it has 
been at many periods in world history— 
then [ would have been an orator. 
PLAYBOY. What are your politics—and 
have they changed in the last 25 years? 
WELLES: Everyon politics have changed 
in the last 25 years. You can't have a po- 
itical opinion in a vacuum; it has to be a 
ion. I've always been 
n independent radical, Бис with wide 
streaks of emotional and cultural old- 
lashionedness. I have enormous respect 
for many human institutions that are 
in serious decay and likely never to 
ed. Although I'm w! is called 
а progressive, it isn't out of dislike for 
the past. 1 don't reject our yesterdays. 1 


wish that paris of our dead past were 


morc alive. И Ги 


capable of originality, 
it’s not because Г want to knock down 
idols or be 1 of the times. If there's 
vthing rigid about me, it's a distaste 
for being in vogue. I would much rather 
be thought old-fashioned than “with it” 
But in g I still belong to the liber- 
al leftist world as it exists the West. 
I vote that way and stand with those 
people. We may disagree on one issue or 
nother, but that is where 1 belong. 
PLAYBOY: Where do you stand on the 
Vietnam war? 

WELLES: There's a newspaper i ıt of 
me right now that s: , according to 
а poll, popular support for Johnson's 
Vietnam program is going down. By the 
time this appears in print, anything 1 
will probably be shared by many moi 
people. America doesn't have a history 
of losing wars and it has only a few bad. 
wars on its conscience; this is one of 
ther 
PLAYBOY: You've met many of the gre: 
ind women of your time. Is there 
any living person you'd still like to meet? 
WELLES: Mrs. Sukarno, for obvious reason: 
nd Chou mostly out of curiosity 
—I don't know if he'd be as interesting 
now as | always heard he used to be. 
He might be old and stiff and sad. I wish 
I'd known George Marshall, Winston 
Churchill and Wilson Mizner [an carly- 
20th Century American playwright] bet- 
ter than I did. I never knew Pope John 
nd that’s a real regret, And although 
may sound a little demagogic, I'd love to 


men 


talk to an old lady named Elizabeth Al- 
Jen: she’s English, she’s been living in a 
tin but in a forest for about 80 years and 
she makes the most beautiful pictures 
you ever saw out of rags. She's just had 
her first exhibition in London and she is 
superlative. But above everybody else, 
I'd like to meet Robert Graves. Not only 
because I think he's the greatest living 
poet, but because he has given me 
through the years the kind of pleasure 
that you get from close friends. I'd like 
to have some more of that stuff, only 
sthand. 
PLAYBOY: Is there anyone, living or dead, 
with whom you'd like to change place 
you've had as much luck as 1 
have, it would be a sort of treachery to 
want to be anyone but yourself, 
PLAYBOY: What is your major vice? 
WELLES: Accidia—the medieval L 


tin word 


for melancholy, and sloth, I don't give 
way to it for long, but it still comes 
lurching at me out of the shadows. I 


have most of the accepted sins—envy, 
perhaps, the least of all. And pride. Im 
not sure that is а sin; it’s the only place 
where I quarrel with the Christian list. If 
irtue, 1 don't recognize much of it 
in myself: the same is true if it’s a vice. 
PLAYBOY: Do you consider gluttony a bad 
vice? 

WELLES: АП vice is bad. A lot of vices are 
secret, but not gluttony—it shows. It 
certainly shows on me. But I feel that 
gluttony must be a good deal less deadly 
than some of the other sins. Because 
affirmative, isn't it? Ar least it celebrate: 
some of the good things of life. Gluttony 
may be a sin, but an awful lot of fun 
goes into committing it. On the othe 
hand, it's wrong for a man to make a 
mess of himself. Dm fat, and people 
shouldn't be fat. 
PLAYBOY: What is your 
pornography and the lite 
letter words? 
WELLES: Four-letter words are useful tools, 
but when they cease to be more or less 
forbidden, they lose their cutting edge. 
When we wish to shock, we must have 
something left in our verbal quiver that 
will actually do the job. As for pornogra- 
phy, I don’t agree with the present per 
missiveness in publishing it. By this I 
don't mean Lady Chatlerley's Lover— 
the sort of book about physical love that 
used to be banned. I à hard-core 
pornography—the blue novel 
blue movie. "The differenc 
it becomes blurred only when vou have 
to testify in a court. We all know per- 
Гесйу well what we mean by what the 
French call cochon. It’s not only piggish 
but lonely. Hard-core pornography may 
begin as a fairly benign sexual stimul: 
but it ends up prety vi 
‘Then it isn't a harmless 


its a 


titude toward 
ry use of four- 


release for that 


which is sick in us; it excites and encour- 
ages the sickness, particularly in young 
people who have yet to learn about sex 


in terms ol love and shared joy. The sex- 


ual habits of consenting adults are their 
own business. It’s the secondhandedness 
of the printed thing that I don't like; not 
the fact that people do it, but that other 
people sit alone and read about it. 
PLAYBOY: If the de 
you censor anything in films or the 
theater? 

WELLES: I am so opposed to censorship that 
I must answer no—nothing. But if there 
were no censorship, Г have a little list of 
the things I would prefer not to have 


ion were yours, would 


shown, Not too often, anyway. Heavy 
spice Кил good for the palate: and in the 
theater when there's too much 


w tends to 


license, what is mi 
Gowd out almost everything else, and 
our dramatic vocabulary is impover 
ished, If you show the act of copulation 
сусту time you do a love scene, both the 
producers and the public get to feel that 
no other kind of love scene is worth 
doing, and that the only vari 
the theme are variations of physical posi 
tion. No, artists should not be censored, 
but I do think they should restrain them: 
selves, in order not to weaken the lan 
guage of their arı- Take the old Roman 
comedies; Once you bring out those 
at leather phalluses, you get so there 
1 any other sort of joke you can do. 
It's the same with violence, or any theat- 
tical extreme. If it’s pushed too far, it 
tends to crode the middle register of hu 
man feeling. However, propagand: 
against any kind of loving hun 
tionship is despicable and 
ought to be censored. 

PLAYBOY: But how do you reconcile that 
with 

WELLES: For 30 years people have bees 


probably 


ask. 


ing me how I reconcile X with Y! The 
Every. 


truthful answer is that 1 don't 
thing about me is а contradiction 
is everything about everybody 
We are made out of oppo 
between two poles. There's 
and an aesthete in all of us, and a mur- 
acile 


derer and a saint. You don't rec 
the pole: 


You just recognize them. 
Did you have a religious up- 


WELLES: Quite the contrary. My mother was 
born a Catholic but then became a stu- 
dent of Oriental religions, in which she 
later lost interest. She taught me to 
the Bible as а wonderful piece of li 
ture. My father м 1 agnostic, and 
Dr. Bernstein—the guardi: 
fter me when my parents died—always 
made fun of the Bible stories. That 
shocked me as a child. 1 have a п 
sense of veneration for what man has as- 
pired to beyond himself, in East ог 
West. It comes easily and instinctively to 
me to feel reverence rather than а glee 
ful skepticism. I read the mystics, though 
I'm not a mystic myself. 

PLAYBOY: Do you believe in God? 
WELLES: My feclings on that subject are a 
constant interior dialog that I haven't 
sufficiently resolved to be sure that I 


s a tol 


Convertibl айаш. 


le are also V 


The new Sports Barracuda, А Hardtop: and 


Is even prettier underneath. 
aptly describes Barracuda's unseen ani 
h the new 383 cu. in. у-в and Formula 5 package. 

the 383, aside from brandishing chromed valve covers 
cleaner, generates а walloping 400 Ibs.-ft. of torque, 
t through cast headers and dual low-restriction 
becomes motion; not to mention sound. 

f course, is the Formula S package, which takes the 
383'5 thrust and glues it to the road. The contents of the package are no 
secret—stiffer torsion bars, springs, shocks, anti-sway bar, wide oval tires, 
eic.—and they're not exactly sensuous to the eye. But they really make 
Barracuda handle. And that is one of its most beautiful qualities. 


atomy, especially 


Which, we think, 
when equipped wit 
One reason is that 
and a crackle-painted air 
and announces the faci 
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The other reason, О 


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64 


have anything worth communicating to 
people I don't know. I may not be a be 
liever, but I'm certainly religious. In a 
strange w iv 

of Christ. 


I even accept the 
The accumulation of 


faith 
creates its own veracity. It does this in a 
sort of Jungian sense, because it’s been 


made true in a way that’s almost as real 
as life. И you ask me whether the rabbi 
who was crucified was God, the answer 
no. But the great. irresistible thing 
about the Judaco-Christian idea is that 
man—no matter what his ancestry, no 
matter how close he is to any murderous 
ape—really is unique. If we are capable 
of unselfishly loving one another, we 
absolutely alone, as а species, on 

planet, There isn’t another ar 


this 
nal that 
remotely resembles us. The notion of 


Christ's divinity is a way of saying that 
Thats why the myth is nue. In Ше 
highest tragic sense, it dramatizes the 
idea that man is divine. 

PLAYBOY: Docs your idealization of man 
apply equally to womanz Are there any 
limitations on what a woman can 
achieve? 
wettes: No. There's a limitation оп what 
she is likely to do, but not on what she 
can do. Women have managed to Яс 
everything: but the likelihood that they're 
going 10 do it often is statistically small. 
10% improbable that they will ever be 
as numerous as men in the ans. Г be 
lieve. d if th had never been. men, 
there would never have been art—but if 
there had never been women, men 
would never have made art. 

PLAYBOY: Whom would you choose as а 
model of the way men ought to behave 
toward women? 

WELLES. Robert Graves. In other words, to- 
tal adoration. Mine is less toral than it 
ought to be. Fm crazy about the girls, 
but I do like to sit around the port with 
the boys. Г recognize in myself that old 
fashioned Edwardian tendency—shared 
by many other socicties in other epochs 
—to let the ladies leave us for a while 
after dinner, so the men can talk. We'll 
in them later. I've talked endlessly to 
women for sexual purposes—years of my 
life have been given up to it. But women 
usually depress or dominate а conversa 
tion to its detriment—though, of course 
there are brilliant and unnerving excep- 
tions. In a sense, every woman is an ex. 
ception. It's the generality thar makes a 
le chauvinist like me. 

PLAYBOY: In the opinion of some, the 
frontiers of анапа aeality—may soon 
be pushed back by the usc of hallucino 
genic dru What do you think about 
these so-called aids to perception? 

WELLES: The use of drugs is a perverse 
expression of individu social 
ad life-denvii les all t of a gre 
reaction—especially the Wes 
against the inevitably collective nature 
of society in the future. Let me put it 
discursively. European women are paint- 
ing their eyelids to look Chinese. Japa 


ism, 


nese women are having operations to 
look American; white people are getting 
sun-tanned and Negroes are having their 
hair dekinked. We are ur T 
as much like one 
And with this great mass movement— 
which is both good and bad, both a 
denial of cultural. heri id an affir- 
mation of hum s 
a retreat from the crowd into one’s lonc- 
ly self. And that’s what this drug busi 
ness is all about. It isn't an assertion of 
individuality; its a substitute for it. It's 
not an attempt to be different when ev- 
yone else is becoming more alike; it's a 
way of copping out. And that's the worst 
thing you can do. 1 much prefer people 
who rock the boat to people who jump 
out. 
PLAYBOY: If art is an expression of protest, 
some philosophers have felt, do you 
think its possible that in an automated. 
world of abundance, devoid of frustra 
tions and pressures, nobody would feel 
compelled to create art? 
WELLES: I don't believe that, even in a per- 
feet oyster shell, there will never be an- 
other grain of sand, and therefore never 
nother pearl. And I don't accept that 
t is necessarily based on unhappiness. 
It's often serene and joyous and a kind of 
celebration, That Бил to deny the vast 
body of work thar has been created in 
conditions of spiritual 
wretchedness and even 
see no reason to thi that culture will 
be poorer because people are happier. 
PLAYBOY: Some critics assert that. mod 
ї can be produced by accident—as in 
aion painting, aleatory music and 
theatrical Happenings. Do you think it's 
possible to create a work of art without 
intending to? 
WELLES: Categorically no. You may create 
something that will give some of the 
pleasures and emotions that a work of 
art may give, just as а microscopic study 
ol a snowllake or a tapeworm or à cancer 
cell be a beautiful object. But a 
rt is a conscious human effort 


ng to become 


and economic 
torment, bur 1 


that or it is nothing. When an accident is 
applauded as a work of art. when a cult 
grows up around the deliciousness of in- 
advertent beauty, we are in the presence 
of the greatest decadence the West has 
known in its history. 

agree with those modem 
artists who say: “I don't care what hap- 
pens 10 my work tomorrow—it's only 
meant for toda 
WELLES: No, because an artist shouldn't 
care what happens today, either. To care 
about today to the exclusion of any other 
time, to be self-consciously contempo- 


PLAYBOY: Do you 


is wrong about the artist's assoc 
tion with the huckster. Today has been 
canonized, beatified, But today is just 
one day in the history of our planet. It's 
the be-all and the end-all only for some- 


body who is selling something. 


PLAYBOY: What elect do you feel the 
ing on artists 


advert; 
—on 


dustry is 
well 


writers as and 
designers? 
WELLES: The advertisers are а disa 
trous effect on every art they touch. 
They are not only seducing the artist. 
they are drafting him. They are not only 
drawing on him, they are sucking the 
soul out of him. And the artist has goi 
over to the advertiser far more than he 
ever did to the merchant. The classic ei 
emy of art has always been the mar 
place. There you find the merchant 
the charlatan—the man with goods to 
sell and the man with the snake oil. In 
the old days you had merchant. princes, 
cx-pushcart. peddlers turned. into Holly 
wood moguls but by and large honest 
salesmen, trying то give the public what 
they believed was good—even il it 
жазп d пог seriously invading the 
rtist’s Ше unless the artist was willing to 
make that concession. But now we're in 
the hands of the snakeoil boys. Among 
the advertisers, you find artists who have 
betrayed their kind and are busy getting 
their brethren hooked on the same drug. 
The advertising profession is largely 
made up of unlrocked. poets, disappoir 
ed novelists, frustrated actors and unsuc 
cessful producers with splitlevel homes 
They've somehow managed to pervade 
the whole universe of art, so that the art- 
mselí now thinks and functions as 
n advertising man. He makes expend- 
able objects, deals in the immediate gut 
kick, revels in the Jack of true content. 
He paints a soup can and calls it art. A 
сап of soup, well enough designed, 
could be a work of art; but a painting of 
it, never. 
PLAYBOY: Have you 
t will happen to 
WELLES: I don't know about my soul. but 
my body will be sent to the White 
House. American passports ask you 10 
state the name and address of the person 
10 whom your remains should be deliv- 
ered in the event of your death, I discov 
cred п 15 ago that there 
inst puting down the name ar 
address of the President. This 
powerful effect on the borders of many 
countries and 
visa. During the long Eisenhower 
would almost have been willing 
in order to have my coffin turn up some 
evening in front of his television set 
PLAYBOY: How would you like the world 
to remember you 
WEES: I've set myself against being con- 
cerned with worldly success 
than E need to function with. Thats an 
honest statement and not a picce of atti- 
tudinizing. Up to a point, 1 have to be 
successul in order to operate. But I 
think it’s corrupting to about suc 
cess; and nothing could be more vul 
than to worry abour post 


аз painters 


theories about 
ter death? 


s по law 


has 


any more 


arc 


ty- 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


A seeker of contemporary ideas and information, the PLAYBOY reader understands the pleasure 
in both fiction and fact. And his enjoyment of good books is surpassed only by his appreciation of 
feminine good looks. Facts: PLAYBOY readers purchased nearly 2,000,000 hardcover books within 
the last month—23,000,000 within the last year. Want to broaden your sales scope? Use his maga- 
zine—PLAYBOY. It carries the best authors of the day. Advertisers, too. (Source: 1966 Starch.) 


New York - Chicago - Detroit - Los Angeles - San Francisco + Atlanta - London + Tokyo 


fiction By RAY RUSSELL 


гм л BLOODHOUND. Ask anyone who knows me and 
they'll tell you I'm a meticulous researcher, 
an untiring zealot, a ruthless bloodhound when 
pursuing facts. I'm not a professional musician, 
granted; not even a gifted amateur; but my 
fondness for music can't be disputed and my 
personal fund of musical and musicological 
knowledge happens to be huge. All the more 
remarkable (wouldn't you say?) that no catalog, 
по concert program, по newspaper file, no 
encyclopedia, no dictionary, no memoir, no inter- 
view, no history of music, no grave marker has 
rewarded my efforts by surrendering the name 
V. 1. Cholodenko. 

Such a person, it would scem, never existed. 
Or, if he did exist, became an Orwellian unperson 


COOK 
pu 


did the heavenly wanderer for which it was 
named imbue it with astral powers? 


who was whisked from this world as completely 

as were Ambrose Bierce, Judge Crater, or the 
passengers and crew of the Marie Celeste. I'm well 
aware of the transliteration problems regarding 
nd I've doggedly searched under 
the spellings Tcholodenko, ‘Tscholodenko, 
Shcholodenko and even Zholodenko, but to по 
avail. True, I haven't had access to archives within 
the Soviet Union (my letters to Shostakovich 

and Khachaturian appear to haye gone astray), 
but I've queried Russian musicians on tour in the 
United States, and to none of them is it a 

familiar name. 

Its exclusive appearance is in a ribbon-tied 
bunch of old letters, crisp and desiccated, 
purchased last year by me, along with items of 
furniture and art, at a private auction of the effects 
of the late Beverly Hills attorney Francis Cargrave. 
They had belonged to his grandlather, Sir Robert 
Cargrave, an eminent London physician, to 
whom they are addressed, and all were written, 
in elegant if somewhat epicene prose, by Lord 
Henry Stanton, a fashionable beau and minor 
poet of the period. 

The curiosity, the enigma, lies in the fact that 
all the people mentioned in the three pertinent 
letters are real people, who lived, whose names and 
achievements are well-known—all, that is, but 
the name and achievements of Cholodenko. 

Even the briefly mentioned Colonel Spalding 
existed, as will be noted later. Down to the most 
insignificant details—such as the color of his 


67 


PLAYBOY 


68 


famous host's eyeglasses—Lord Stanton's 
leuers can be substantiated (the only ex- 
ceptions, again, being the references to 
the elusive Cholodenko). 

Is the man a fabrication? Was Stanton 
the perpetrator of an elaborate hoax? If 
so, I can't in all honesty understand why. 
The leners were written to his closest 
friend. a presumably sober pillar of the 
medical profession and knight of the 
British Empire. Both men were no longer 
youngsters, and undergraduate pranks 
Strike me as uncharacteristic of them. 
But if it was not a prank, how can we 
plain the way Gholodenko has been 
ripped from history, his music not eve 
a fading echo but a silence. a vacuum, 
completely forgotten, as totally unknown 
as the song the Sirens sang? 

I don't presume to solve the mystery. 
I merely present the three letters “for 
what theyre worth,” and invite other 
bloodhounds to make what they will of 
them, Such bloodhounds will sniff out, 
s 1 did, a glaring discrepancy, for the 
very survival of these letters seems to dis. 
credit Lord Henry's colorful insinuations 
—but he would probably counter our in- 
credulity, if he were here, by urbanely 
pointing out that if God proverbially 
moves in mysterious ways His wonders 10 
perform, might not His Adversary do the 
same? For reasons of scholarship and 
curacy, I haven't condensed or edited the 
letters in any way (except to climinate 
the redundant addresses in all but the 
first), preferring to let even irrelevant or 


E 


trivial observations stand, in the hope 
that they may contain clues that cluded 


me, I've also kept Stanton's not always 
standard, though phonetically accurate, 
transliterations. In a few places, Гус in 
serted short bracketed notes of my own, 
in italics. The letters bear month and 
dates, but no year. Stanton being English, 
I asume these dites conform to the 
to us, rathe 
r, which 
was still in use in Russia at the time. On 
the basis of internal evidence, such as 
the first performance of Eugene Onegin, 
I believe the letters to have been written 


in 1879. 

5 April 
Sir Robert Cargrave 
Harley Street 


London, England 


My dear Bobbie, 

No, do not scold me! I know full well 
that P have been a renegade and most 
delinquent comrade. If 1 seem to have 
avoided your home these many months: 
if I have neglected you, your dear 
Maude and your brood of cherubim— 
one of whom, young Jamey, must be 
quite ripe for Oxford by now!—then 
asaibe it, I pray you, not to a cooling 
of our friendships fires nor to a bache- 
lor's disdain for the familial hearthstone, 
but, rather, to my persistent vice, travel. 


I have set foot on divers shores since 
last I sipped your sherry, old cohort, and 
I write to you from St. Petersburg. Yes, I 
am cosily hugged by “the rugged Rus- 
sian bear.” а cryptic creature, I assure 
you, warm and greathcarted, quick to 
laugh, and just as quick to plunge into 
pits of black toská—a word that haugh- 
tily defies translation, hovering mysti- 
Пу, as does, somewhere betwe 
melancholy and despair. Neither melan 
choly nor despair, however, have dogged 
my steps here in this strange land 
І have been most cheerful. There ar 
wondrous sights to bend one's gaze 
upon: exotic food and drink to quicken 
nd quench the appetite: fascinating 
people with whom to talk. To your sly 
nd silent question, my reply is Yes! 
there are indeed ladies here, lov 
with flared bright eyes and sable voices; 
lambent ladies, recondite and rare. There 
are amusing soirees, as well (I will tell 
you of one in а moment), and there are 
evenings of brilliance at the ballet and 
the opera. 

The opera here would partic 
captivate both you and your Maude, 
am certain, for 1 know of your deep love 
of the form. How enviously, then, will 
you receive the news that just last 
month, in Moscow, Г attended the pre- 
miere of a dazzling new opus theatricum. 
by the composer Pyotr Chaikovsky. It 
was a work of lapidary excellence, enti 
ded Yevgeny Onyégin (1 transliterate 
best I can from the spiky Cyrillic origi 
nal), derived from a роста of that name 
a prosodist now 
4 for decades, who—my friend. Colo- 
nel Spalding, tells me—enjoys a classi- 
cal reputation here, but of whom 1 had 
not hitherto heard. since his works have 
not been translated into English, an error 


ly 


the colonel is now busy putting righ 


[Lieutenant Colonel Henry Spalding's 
English translation, transliterated as 
“Eugene Onéguine,” was published in 
London in 1881.] The opera is a shim- 
mering tapestry of sound, brocaded with 
waltzes and_polonaises. 

But St. Petersburg, I find, is richer i 
cultural Ше than even Moscow: I have 
been awed by the art treasures of The 
Hermitage, humbled by the baroque 
majesty of the Aleksandr Nevsky Cathe- 
dral, chastened by the mighty gloom of 
the Peter Paul fortress and properly im- 
presed by the Smolny monastery and 
the Winter с. Apropos of winter, I 
have also been chilled to the marrow by 
he fiercest cold I have ever know 
“Winter in April?” I can hear you sa 
Yes, the severe season stretches from 
November to April in this place, and the 
River Neva, which I can see, moo 
from my window as I write, is frozen 
over, and has been thus, Г am told, for 


the past six months! Jt is a great gleam- 
cleaving the city 

in two. 
As for music: Just last night, thanks to 


a letter of introduction from Spalding, 

as received at а famous apartment in 
the Zagoredny Prospekt—nothing osten- 
tatious, а small drawing room, a few 
chai grand piano, a table in the 
room loaded with the simplest 
and drink . . . but what excep 


food 
tional people were crowded, shoulder to 


shoulder. in that place. It was the apart- 
ment of Rimsky-Korsakov, who, I was 
pleased to discover, is not only a gifted 

ad amiable gentleman but speaks cx- 
cellent English—an accomplishment not 
shared by m of his compatriots, 
whose social conversations are custom 
ly couched in (or, at least, liberally 
ced with) French. The guests, myself 
excluded, werc, to a man, composers and 
performers, some (I later learned) being 
members of a koochka, or clan, of musi- 
ians of which Rimsky-Korsakov is the 
nucleus. 

You will laugh when I tell you that, 
not five minutes after. being welcomed 
nto the salon, I commitied a faux pas. 
Wishing to take part in the musical dis 
cussion, I minutely described and lavish- 
ly praised the Chaikovsky opera 1 had 


Enjoyed so recently at the Moscow Con- 
all host's gentle сус 


servatorium, My 
grew cold behind his blue-tinted spec 
ades (which he wears because of ailing 
sight) and I felt a distinct frost. The 
wwkward moment soon passed. however, 
and a dark young man took me aside to 
dryly inform me that "Our esteemed Ni- 
Којаї Andreyvich considers Chaikovsky's 
music to be in abominable taste. 
"Do vou share that opinionz" I ask 
"Not precisely. but Т do feel Chai- 
kowsky is not a truly Russian composer. 
He has let himself be influenced. by 
bad French models—Masenet, Bizet, 
Gounod, and so on." 

We were joined by a bloated, wild- 
ired, red.nosed, blearyeyed but very 
courteous fellow who, after addressing 
me most delcrentially, asked eagerly 
bout the Chaikovsky work: "It is good, 
then, you think? Ah! Splendid! An excel- 
lent subject, Onyégin. I once thought of 
setting it myself, but it’s not my sort of 
thing—Pyotr Ilyich is the man for 
there's no doubt. Don't you agree, Vassi- 
ly Ivanovich?” he added, turning to my 
companion. 

"That intense young man shrugged. 
suppose so—but to tell the truth, 1 am 
growing weary of these operatic obei- 
sances to Pushkin. One cannot blame a 
composer of the old school, such as 
for setting Ruslan and Lyudmila, 
but what are we to think when Dargo- 
mizhsky sets not one but three Pushkin 
subjects—Russalha, The Triumph of 
Bacchus and The Stone Guest; when 
you joined the cortege five years 
with your own opera; and when Ci 
kowsky now follows the pattern with 
Onyégin?" He threw up his hands. "Ma 
that be the last!” he sighed. 

(continued on page 128) 


ago 


j 
on 
3 
1 
| 
» 
1 
4 
1 


and an ingenious American invention called a “quickte’!” 


“All I could get out of him was his name, rank, serial number, 


fledgling film beauty 
Sharon tate is caught by 
the still camera of her 

director on the set of 
their horror-movie spoof, 
“the vampire killers? 


‘This is the year Sharon Tate 
happ A screen newcomer 
with three films to be released 
in 1967, Sharon shows best in 
Roman Polanski's The Vam 
pire Killers, а slap-sick unreel 
ing of macabre carryingson. 
Says director Polanski, who 
last year shocked movie 
goers with Repulsion, "What 
kind of film is The Vampire 
Killers? W's funny!" A man of 
many talents, Polanski, who 
costars in his new movie, per 
sonally photographed Sha 
for the pages of PLaynoy. 
Depicted here is her sudsy 
têteà Tate with a frightening 
film ghoul who, like us, finds 
Sharon a tasty dish, indeed. 


(7* 


1е 


Cale 


са ery: 


PICTURES BY POLANSKI 


"The Vampire Killers" displays 
Sharon's formidable form in 
Gto Ca a саатар 
Signed by Martin Ransoboff to 
DE A e conte four 
Dres оа e aa а КЁ 
million-dollar Hollywood 
non-buildup: continuous 
старо ба еи ала ела 
diction to dancing to dress— 
even bodybuilding, Says 
Miss Tate, “Му. Ransohoff 
didn’t want the audience to see 
me till I was ready.” As 
Polanski's photos reveal, 
ЖР секира 


Cast as an innkeepers 
daughter, Sharon proves too 
tempting a bathing beauty for 

vampire Count Krolock 
(Ferdy Mayne) to bypass. The 
no-count villain quickly turns 

Sharon into a fellow vamp, 


and together, the gruesome 
twosome terrorize the 
citizenry of—where else? — 
Transylvania. 


“You're a disgrace to the uniform!” 


пн THe MARKET for executives churning these days, on- 
lookers and managers alike are understandably curious 
about who is getting the top dollar and why. 

The demand for good men is high not only because of the 
explosive growth of businesses to be managed but because of 
the shortage of qualified men in the 35—44 age group. ordi- 
у the reservoir from which top men are selected. (During 
the Depression, people just weren't having many babies.) One 
result is that businesses increasingly are reaching down Ино 
the younger 25-to-34 age group to locate and earmark men of 
promise. and then groom and guide them. These are the men 
who will gradually move into positions from which they can 
have a clear shot at the top. 

‘The demand for good men is such that, 
ago a newly minted master of business administration would 
be offered $7500 to $8000, today the M. B. A. will have little 
difficulty getting 59500 to мап and, if he looks really hot, 
$11.300. And, to move up a bit, the seasoned man who is on 
the threshold of achievement as а full-fledged manager can 
usually command 520,000 to $25,000. 

agement has become quite age-conscious in assessing 


Ithough three years 


69 varieties of middle er, including such jobs as chief 
engineer, plant manager, traffic manager, and so on, It has 
released data indicating the following, for example, as prob 
able maximums for typical middle-management jobs: 

General accounting executive of a company with assets 


of $20,000,000 to $50,000,000 . cm 315,000 
Regional sales director supervising sales of $10,000,000 10 
920,000 E E E dec. Teano 74 1:151 


Plant manager with раса of 510.000.000 to 
$20.000000 .. .822,100 
Rescarch and development executive with a budget of 
between $500,000 and $900,000 . T 525.000 
It might be added, however, that in most companies, research 
and development is not considered one of the more promising, 
тошу t0 the top—or to the really big pay checks. 
ng management ranks as а whole—and 1 
(the. best-paying functional area, Sibson 
after making an extensive survey. clearly is 
ending order by finance, 


and Co. 
marketing. This is followed in de 
ufacturing and research. 


report 


who gets top dollar 
—and why— 
in today's corporate complexes 


Pay то 
THE ORDER OF 


EXECUTIVE SALARIES 


DOLLARS 


MAMMOTH GIANT 
INTERNATIONAL STATUS COMPANY 
Inc. and Ltd. 


article by 


МАВОВАТАВАЯ: 


They examine the m: 
"old and a 35-ycarold 
being considered for the same managerial job, then if othe: 
things are reasonably equal, the 30-yearold will ga the nod. 
more continuity and growth potential. One leading 
live recruiter, John Handy, says: “If you have a man of 


g ones. 


By the age of 30, a man of promise headed toward top. 
management (where the true executive jobs lie) should be 
making at least 510,000 by the age of 40, hc should be 
ound $25,000. This span of the man's 30s, accord- 
nagement consultant Robert Sibson, is the greatest 
period for leaps in pay. A really good man in his 305 will be 
increasing his compensation by at least 15 percent a year. 

Some executive recruiters talk of the importance of a man's 
“age-to-carnings ratio" in assessing his growth potential. On 
the basis of information supplied by one leading recruiting 
firm, Г find that the agetocarnings ratio for "topdrawcr" 
men would look something like this: 


tom 


$10,500-$11,000 
-.514.000-520,500 
«+ . 20,000598.750. 
-.823,000-535.000 
..826,500-540.000 
-..532,500-$57.500. 
a manager has growth potential, he 
blished a foothold in middle manage. 
nagement Association has identified 


e 40-45 


late 30s, if 
nly have esi 


By the 
will cer 
тем. The American M 


ү that money is allot- 
if you know the pay of any one 
of the top ten men, you can make an enlightened guess about 
the pay of any of his nine colleagues. If it is known, for 
example, that the chief executive ollicer is making а modest 
5100.000, then ne closest subordinates will probably be 
earning: 
?nd highest 
3rd highest 
4th. highest. 
5th highest 
6th highest 
Tth highest 


find a clear hierarchal pattern 
ted to the top ten men. Thu: 


+». -$70.000 

- 560,000 
-555.000 
- $50,000 


. $35,000 


fth. highest . 
9th highest . «$82,000 
10th highest . A . $30,000 


An АМА. roughly comparable 
descending scale indicated that the jobs im a hypothetical 
company might, in desa order, be: president, executive 

1, marketing vice-president, financial vice president. 
manufacturing vice-president. treasurer, controller, industrial 
relations or personnel director 

Then, lower down—and with increasingly. small 
ences in salaries—there might be the риге 
engineering executive. research and development director and 
public relations direct The lauter might be making $25,000 
if the president is at 5100.000, 

Up through middle manageme: 
sure chat his will be (fex! continued оп pai 


vice presid 


„а man can be reasonably 
86) 


75 


Certain executive 
functions are essen- 

ally the same no matter what the industry. Here, seven such representative functions general management. staff management, 
financial, engineering, manufacturing, marketing, creative—are compared, Each of these major functions is subdivided into two 


KEY EXECUTIVES AND WHAT THEY EAR 


FIRST-LEVEL EXECUTIVE USUALLY REPORTS OR ASPIRES TO 


FUNCTIONS 


RESPONSIBILITY 


3 TO 5 YEARS’ EXPERIENCE 


PLANT PERSONNEL MANAGER 
PERSONNEL (GEO $12,000 
STAFF MANAGEMENT NUN 
COUNSEL COMPANY SALES, $75,000,000 $17,000 
PLANT CONTROLLER 
CONTRDLLER cz EDU oo $11,000 
FINANCIAL 
CHIEF COST ACCOUNTANT 
ACCOUNTING PRODUCTION VOLUME, $75,000,000 $13,000 
+ SUPERVISES. 15 EMPLOYEES 
SECTION MANAGER 
MANAGEMENT SUPERVISES. 5 OR 6 ENGINEERS ABO 
ENGI N EE R 1 NG MECHANICAL- OR ELECTRICAL- 
PROFESSIONAL ENGINEERING GRADUATE $11,000 


SALES DISTRICT SALES MANAGER $11,000 
MANAGER SALES VOLUME, $1,000,000 
MARKETING STAFF E saan M $14,000 
ADVERTISING | „шү вини $1,000 000 то $5,000,000 $ 6,200 
NEWSPAPER г vius OU $10,000 
CREATIVE MAGAZINE EEN y | mw 
ИНЕП EDOM SES CIT STATION $ 9,300 
MEDICINE Pan E SESS $ 6,500 
PROFESSIONAL LAW UD eos We 7,000 
EDUCATION COLLEGE INSTRUCTOR $ 6,000 
HOW INDUSTRIES | HIGH Business Machinery — Television HIGH—AVERAGE Leather 
PAY THEIR Advertising Publishing Tobacco Automobile Pharmaceutical 
KEY EXECUTIVES Aerospace Radio Tools and Hardware Electronic Textile 


management, etc. 
salarics. Onl 
here are for a 


or more narrower specialties or levels (presidents and division managers for general management; personnel and counsel for staff 

‘The chart shows, from left to right, three levels of responsibility for each specialty, giving typical job titles and 
a limited number of jobs could be listed within the available space, but these are representative. The salaries listed 
age industries. Three professional categories have been added at the bottom of the chart as a basis for comparison. 


MIDDLE MANAGER SUPERVISES SEVERAL FIRST-LEVEL EXECUTIVES 
REPORTS OR ASPIRES T0—- 


TOP MANAGEMENT 


RESPONSIBILITY 


DIVISION PERSONNEL MANAGER. 
1500 EMPLOYEES $18,000 


RESPONSIBILITY 


CORPORATE OIRECTOR OF PERSONNEL 
12,000 EMPLOYEES 


GENERAL COUNSEL 


COMPANY SALES, $100,000,000 $33,000 


V.P. AND GENERAL COUNSEL 
COMPANY SALES, $50,000,000 


DIVISION CONTROLLER 


V.P. AND CORPORATE CONTROLLER 


REGIONAL SALES MANAGER 
‘SALES VOLUME, $4,000,000 


9 TO 15 YEARS’ EXPERIENCE 


V.P_—SALES 
SALES VOLUME, $200,000,000 


OMNES SOLO 00 $21,000 сому ано, o | $ 31,000 
coment Sie oo suam COMPANY AST sin to 
эйи 30 ENGINES $20.00 Wee BCA 

O, SENET $13,000 M ENGINEERING GRADUATE C 


$ 42,000 


AOVERTISING MANAGER MANAGER—MARKET RESEARCH 
AOV. BUDGET, $1,000,000 $16,000 SALES, $150,000,000 $ 18,000 
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE ACCOUNT SUPERVISOR 
AGENCY BILLING, $20,000,000 aU AGENCY BILLING, $20,000,000 TO $40,000,000 $ 29500 
CITY EDITOR EDITOR IN CHIEF 
MAJOR. CITY NEWSPAPER $15,000 MAJOR CITY NEWSPAPER $ 75,000 
SENIOR EDITOR OR ASSISTANT EDITORIAL DIRECTOR OR 
MANAGING EDITOR $30,000 MANAGING EDITOR $ 90,000 
NATIONAL MAGAZINE NATIONAL MAGAZINE 
MANAGER 
LARGE LOCAL NETWORK AFFILIATE $40,000 NETWORK MANAGER $200,000 
GENERAL PRACTITIONER SURGEON 
10 YEARS! PRACTICE $28,500 20 TEMS PRACTICE + #0000 
LAW. PARTNER PRIVATE PRACTICE 
5 ТО 7 YEARS’ EXPERIENCE $15,000 15 YEARS" EXPERIENCE $ 24000 
ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR 
MEDIUM SIZE UNIVERSITY 9,000 eda 1 
6 TO 8 YEARS’ EXPERIENCE Pu EDI ied 
AVERAGE Building Supplies LOW—AVERAGE Machinery Low Hospitals 
Banking Furniture ‘Chemicals Rubber Casualty Insurance Utilities 
Beverages Food Government Wholesale and Retail 


Transportation 


“Believe me, the State will take your cooperation 
into consideration, Miss Hollingsworth . . .” 


when his father talked about the old 
days at the mill, the son listened— 
and heard the echo of his future self 


ШАШ 


‘fiction By Harry Mark Petrakis 


THAT WINTER seemed to last forever. At 
the end of March the ground was still 
frozen. Walking home from a night shift 
at the mill, I huddled my head into the 
collar of my jacket to shelter my checks 
and ears from the biting cold. 

By the time 1 reached home the first 
traces of daylight had broken the rim of 
the dark sky. I went in the back door 
and found Pa in his bathrobe in the 
kitchen with a pot of fresh coffee brew- 
ing on the stove. 

In the past weeks he had been having 
trouble sleeping. Even after taking the 
pills the doctor had given him, he lay 
awake through most of the night. Just 
before dawn he would come quietly 
downstairs. He would light the oven to 
warm the kitchen and put on a pot of 
coffee and wait for me. 

1 came in cold and tired with the dust 
of the mill on my checks. I wanted only 
to wash, peck in on my sleeping son and 
then climb into bed beside my wife, be- 
tween the sheets that would be warm 
with her body. Buc Pa waited for me 
h a pot of coffee and Т had to sit with 
him for a while. 

“Didn't you get any sleep again, Pa?" 

Не pulled the cord of his robe tighter 
and turned his face slightly away, be- 
cause he was no good at deception. 

"Better than I have slept in weel 
he said. "Maybe those damn pills are 
beginning to work." 

He poured me a cup of steaming 
coffee and the sharp aroma pulled at my 
we: “Pa, you made it too strong 
again,” I said, sitting down. "I can tell 
by the look of it.” I was sorry the mo- 
ment the words were out of my mouth. 

“I only put in six scoops,” he за 
“You told me six scoops was just right. 

“Sure, Pa," I said. “Six scoops is right. 
I just remembered Ethel saying she was 
going to switch to another brand. Maybe 
she got one that is stronger.” 

He walked to the pantry and brought 
down the canister of coffee. He raised 
and stared intently at the beans. 

I said. “Sit 
If.” 

He came to sit down at the table. He 
dropped two slices of bread into the 
toaster. Then he raised the pot and 
poured himself a cup of coffee. His hand 
trembled slightly because he was old 
and not well, But his hand still looked 


big and strong, with the large powerful 
fingers I remembered as a child. 1 would 
get out of school in the afternoon and 
run to wait for him at the north gate. He 
would come across the bridge with his 
crew from the plate mill at the end of 
the turn. He would see me waiting out 
е the fence and holler and wave. 
He would swing me to his shoulder 
and the men would laugh and slap my 
lef 1 would ride home high on his 
back, his hands hokling me securely, 
proud of his strength and his love. 
"How did it go last Pa asked 
as | sipped slowly at the сойес. 
"We beat the other two turns by 
cleven ton," I 
"No fooling! 
pleasure for me. 


"He must have been going like hell!" 
ghed and his pale and tigh- 
fleshed face seemed to flood suddenly 
with color. Whenever we spoke of the 
mills he seemed to feel the heat of the 
furnaces, the glowing slabs bobbing on 
the rolls. 

“You boys can’t touch our rec 
ГИ never forget 
. Bungo on the furnaces shooting 
the slabs like shells from a cannon. 
Montana on the crane over the hookers. 
Fuller thinking we were nuts when we 
gave him Ше tonnage at four.” 
his chair with 
eyes. The doc 
xcited, because of 
his heart and, besides, I had heard the 
story of that night a hundred times. The 
stocker with a smashed hand who cried 
when they took him to the hospital be- 
cause he didn't want to leave the crew. 
The way old steel men who had been 
there swore the crane was а bird snatch- 
ing up the slabs like а crust of bread. 
And Pa up and down the length of the 
mill hu is crew in a voice tl 
could be heard above the thunder of th 
roughers and the shrill whistles and bells 
of the cranes. 

7... And that fool, Barney,” Ра was 
saying, "getting his hand pulped and re- 
fusing to go to the hospital. Even taking 
a poke with the other hand at one ol 
the plant cops who tried to force him 
off the line. 

“Pa, listen," I said. “We both enjoy 
talking about the mills, but this morning 
I'm really beat. I run myself crazy trying 
to keep up with the records set by my 
old man." I laughed as I stood up and 
gave his shoulder a slight. punch. 
few days a damn foreman asks me when 
youre coming back, so they can start 
breaking tonnage records again.” 

He smiled up at me then and I saw 
the thin clean line of scalp under his 
thick gray hai e a damn good 
etter than I ever 
was, bigger,and | (continued on page 160) 


He sat up straight и 


79 


The domed roofs of Don Devine's retreot rise beside Illinois’ Fox river. The front of the house (left) 
hos guest parking orea by the goroge. The rear (below) foces the river ond o privote boot londing. 


A PLAYBOY PAD: 


EXOTICA 
IN EXURBIA 


young midwest exec creates his own tropical paradise in Illinois 


Racing buff Devine stonds by his Ferrori 275 / GTB. The Scorob onthe right hod been severely damoged. 
ond wos completely rebuilt by Devine. Porked in the goroge is a Honda Super Howk motorcycle. 81 


FOR DON DEVINE, a 26-year-old Illinois bachelor, the topics are but 

n hour's drive from Chicago. Here, on the banks of the placid Fox 
river, Don has decreed and erected а multidomed paradisiacal 
pleasure palace complete with an abundance of flowing water— 
two interior cascading waterfalls plus a swimming pool, plus a fine 


view of the river. 

A land developer with an avocational bent toward sports«ar 

designing and racing, Devine has two favorite places in the world 
-the Middle West and Jamaica. In order to bring together the 
best of both worlds, the young business entrepreneur has come up 
with a house that is architecturally unique and totally suited to 
him. He has the convenience of living near one of the largest cities 
in the world and the relaxed holiday atmosphere of a tropical home. 

‘The house wraps itself around a gently graded hillock and was 
designed to Devine's specifications by architect Dennis Stevens. It 
is basically three cedar-shingle-sheathed domes that are supported 
by large curved laminated beams and are capped with transparent 
plastic bubbles. 

"The interior of the house, which has an open plan with one area 
flowing into another, is on three levels, and is extravagantly 
paneled with natural cedar. Many of the interior materials were 
imported from Hawaii, Tahiti, Haiti and Jamaica. The extralarge 
boulders used in the waterfall construction were trucked in from 
New Mexico lava beds. Furnishings are simple but colorful and 
enhance the tropical mood. Thanks to a special air-conditioning 
system, a lush planting of tropical flora Hourishes luxuriously year 
round inside the house. 

Certainly not a budget or a quickie job, the house cost approxi- 
mately $150,000 and took a year to construct. Happy owner Don 
Devine thinks his posh pad by the Fox river is well worth every 
penny and minute of it. And why not? He has the best of all worlds. 


The entrance to the house [obove] is reached by steppingstones set in o free-form 
pool. One of the lushly planted waterfalls (righ!) sorts in the living room ond pours 
inta o shallow pool on the floor below. The bridge an which owner Devine leons 
connects the entrance Бой with the living room ond hos locquered bomboo soils. 


RAPHY RY LARRY GORDON 


The living room (above), with its sooring domed ceiling, is completely carpeted with а cotton shag rug. The majority of the furnishings, 
including the metol-framed Von Keppel-Green furniture, ore from John Strauss Showroom. The pedestal-bosed packaged stereo system is 
Бу KLH. The leather-covered stools at the bar ore offen used by guests for informal dining. Yellow predominates in the sunny master 
bedroom (below), which has a balcony overlooking the river. The international aspects of the house ore reflected in o Spanish bedcover 
ond Oriental chair and lamp. A narrow band of clerestory windows with regularly spaced vertical frosted-glass lights runs around the tops af 
all the walls in the house. Pompered guests luxuriate in the souna and resting room that is conveniently located on the lower level of Ihe house. 


MHULILILI: 


The logoonlike swimming pool has one of the domed structures all to itself and is immediately adjacent to ond a few steps dawn from the 
living roam. Thickly planted with tropical vegetotion, the pool hos а bavider-studded waterfall at one end ond o fireplace ond seating area at 
the other. The temperature in the pool room is kept at o higher level than the rest of the house far the benefit сЕ both bothers ond plants. The 
kitchen (below) is open to the living room and hos a serving and dining Бог that facilitates easy entertaining. Functionol ond decorctive features 
include а wraughtiran pot rack hung with copper vessels, o professional chopping block ond а floor of teak loid in с herringbone pattern. 


Behind the swimming-poo! waterfall is o secret cave 
with stone bar ond bor stools. Host Devine brails steaks in 
the fireplace af the swimming-pool room ta the delectatian 
of his guests, wha recline on a fur-cavered bonquette. Other 
furs ore draped aver boulders and scattered an the floor. 


PLAYBOY 


86 


EXECUTIVE SALARIES (continued from page 75) 


z 
any or 
At least this is an 


commensurate with his responsibiliti 
regardless of the size of the com 
the industry he is 
АМА. finding. 
But as a man moves up into general 
management  responsibilitie—and he 
should by his carly 40s if he is going to 
make it—he starts finding important dif- 
ferences in compensation, depen 
what company he is with. This becomes 
increasingly true the higher he gocs. 
For example, look at some of the eye- 
popping compensation packages handed 
out in the automobile-making industry. 
Motorcar officials may fret from time to 
time about their tribulations, but they do 
not customarily fret about their pay, and 
for good reason. Take the case of Ed- 
ward D. Rollert, who in 1965 was sey- 
enth vice-president, оп the basis of pay, 
at General Motors. His compensation 
package came to approximately $525,000. 
This seventh vice-president at GM re- 
ceived more remuneration in 1965 than 
any tycoon in a publicly held corpora- 
le the motorear industry. Thi 
included presidents and chairmen. His 
pay, for cxample, was almost twice that 
of Roger M. Blough, the chairman of 
United States Steel Corporation. 
neral Motors had at least nine exec- 
utives 1965 who made more than a 
half million dollars. It had six who 
made morc than $600,000. Its chairman, 


Frederic G. Donner. made more than 
$800,000. 
At Ford Motor Company, three men 


also were awarded more than a half 
million dollars, including a i 
dent. The 12 highest-paid 
America's thousands of publicly owned 
corporations were all in these two 
motorcar companies. 

It is only when we drop down to the 
$440,000 level that we come to our first 
nonmotorce man. He was Lammot du 
P. Copeland, president of E. I. du Pont 
de Nemours & Co. But again there is 
perplexity. His chemical compa 
about on a par in s 
ith Swift & Compan 


men in 


the meat packer, 
and yet the top man at Swift was paid 
or credited. with considerably less than 
half as much ($156,000) as Du Роп top 


man. Ог note another seeming anomaly. 
A.T.&T. five times the assets 
of General Motors and 60.000 more 
employees. Yet the head of A. T. & T.. 
Frederick Kappel, received only a little 
more than a third of the pay of GM's 
Frederic Donner. 

Why? Is there any pattem 10 account 
Лу large discrepancies in 
arded to the higher ex- 

enterprise? What is 
ambitious young men may properly 
wonder, that с hes the price а cor- 
poration is willing to pay the man who 
rises above the general run of managers? 
How is a top managers contribution 


measured? And does the pay match the 
contribution? 

There are, indeed, some yardsticks used 
by the world of business for measuring 
what rewards a particular job should 
command. Normally, it should be noted, 
the chief executive officer is awarded the 
largest compensation package, whatever 
his title. Today i тре corporations, 
this is usually the chairman. A few years 
ago it was the president. 

Incomes of many Jeaders in the busi 
ness world can be found by examining 
official proxies that publicly owned com- 
panies are required by law до file each 
h the Sccuritics and Exchange 
ission. These must detail the com- 
pensation of certain top officers. 1 have 
scrutinized a few dozen of these. Most are, 
I assume, deliberately prepared by experts 
in obscurantism. To add to the confu- 
sion, an executive's "compensation pack- 
age" often involves several components. 

Salaries alone usually count for only a 
part and often a small part—of a man's 
annual compensation. There may also 
be incentive payments in the form of bo- 
nuses, deferred-compensation awards (to 
be spread over several years to ease the 
tax burden) and contingent awards of 
tock. There is a great sca 
ways “to inject more motivation into the 
executive payroll doll 
consultant's phrase. At Zenith Radio 
Corporation, for example, president. Jo- 
seph Wright's salary is listed at a mere 
$60,000. But in 1965, when his company 
had а fine year, thanks in part to the 
booming market for color TV, he also 
received $308,000 in additional forms of 
compensation, to bring his total reward 
to a very respectable $368,000. 

As for deciding a man’s total compen- 
sation package—whatever the compo- 
nents—in a quite general way, sheer size 
of the company as revealed in total sales 
s is one widely used yardstick. 
ncy—but only a tendency 
— for bigger companies to pay more than 
those somewhat smaller. 

Among the really big companies, the 
average top pay is likely 10 be above 
$200,000. By my computations, the aver- 
age total compensation of the first 50 
chief executives listed Business 
Week's survey of executive compensation 
was approximately $235,000 in 1965. 
maller companies, as measured by 
their à 1 sales, move down from this 
level in a more or less regular way, ac- 
cording to Arch Patton of McKinsey 
Company, management consultants. A 
couple of years ago, he listed the average 
compensation of chief executives of com- 
panies in 21 industries where sales were 
at three levels: 

At $400,000,000 a year sales, the chief- 
executive salaries ranged from $106,000 
to 5183.000. depending on the industry. 

At 5100,000,000 а year sales, the chief- 


executive salaries ranged from $68,000 to 
$120,000. 

At $80,000,000 a year sales, the chief 
executive salaries ranged from $46,000 to 
$84,000. 

Mr. Patton has contended, in Harvard 
Business Review, that there has been a 
deterioration in top-executive pay dur 
ing the last decade or so. He noted that 
the pay for the chicf executives of 420 
companies he had studied rose only 25 
percent, while the size of the companies, 
as measured by sales, rose 76 percent 


(and by profits, 102 percent). 
Another and more frequently used 
ing the pay of a 
of 


yardstick for determi 
top business executive is the апош 
profit the company makes while he is 
command. That, after all, is primarily 
what interests the board of directors. 
Today at most large companies, а man 
near the top 
annual earnings in the form of a 
that is somewhat linked to the company’s 
profits during the year. 

Several of Ford's top men got pay in- 
creases of more than $100,000 in 1965, 
almost all of the ases in the form of 
“supplemental compensation.” During 
the year, Ford's net profits had jumped 
nearly $200,000,000. At smaller Martin 
Marietta, on the other hand, profits 
dropped by $7,000,000 from 1964 10 1965 
and the compensation of its president 
dropped by $50,000. 

The top executives who are at the 
helm when their companies enjoy a sen- 
sational growth in sales, accompanied by 
good profits, are even more likely to be 
rewarded bountifully, Thus. Joseph C. 
Wilson, president of the relatively tiny 
Xerox Corporation, outdrew chairman 
Albert L. Nickerson of Socony Mobil 
(now Mobil Oil Co) with а compensa 
tion package of $203,000, even though 
his company’s profits were only one sixth 
those of Socony Mobil. Corporate growth 
is a major explanation. Xerox in 1963 
was 294th on Fortune's list of the nation's 
ing industrial corporations, while 
fifth. In two years. Mr. Wil 
у, thanks in part lo the 
boom in photocopying, Ieapfrogged over 

122 other companies to become 171м on 
. Meanwhile, Mobil had dropped 
с spot to sixth 


jon to the yardsticks of sales vol- 
ume and profits that influence the set- 
ting of top compensation in busine 
То mention a few: 

The degree to which acratic 
thinking has с 1o с the 
company. The extent to which the top 
officers can feather their nests without 
undue worry about protests from “out 
side" directors and shareholders. The 
degree to which the company wishes to 
keep its leaders contented and securely 
anchored to the company. The extent of 
family domination in the company's 
(continued on page 165) 


THE FIRST NATIONAL FIDUCIARY IMPERIALIST 
TRUST SYNDICATE CARTEL POOL COMBINE 


a wizard capitalist plot to corner the market in iron-curtain red-chip securities 


humor By MARVIN KITMAN 


THE AVERAGE PERSON who owns a share of American business—Wall Street jargon for “playing 
the market"—is either a bull or a bear. He buys and sells haphazardly for the short or long run, 
depending on the way the market looks. But the really smart investors are in a third group of 
ultraconservatives called chickens. We never make a move in the market unless we are covered 
for every contingency. I had the opportunity to explain this theory to a customers’ man at Mer- 
rill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith who had been calling me for a yea sking to handle my 
brokerage account. “Do you have any special investment problems I can help you solve?” he 
finally asked on the phone one day. “No.” I explained, “I'm just afraid of being wiped out by 
peace." “Your fears are premature,” he said confidently. “You haven't bought any stocks yet." 

Account executives are not supposed to talk politics with their customers. So I assumed this 
was his nonpolitical way of attacking the sincerity of President Johnson's peace offensive, then 
roaring full blast. The White House had just announced it was resuming the bombing of North 
Vietnam and considering sending 25,000 fresh troops to South (continued on page 90) 


87 


THE NEW 
EDWARDIAN 


the pierre cardin look in 
an elegant ensemble for 
well-dressed occasions 


attire BY ROBERT L. GREEN 


rr was just six years ago that Pier 

ardin introduced his first collection of 
dothes for men, in Paris. Since then, 
the Cardin look has grown in world 
wide acceptance and importance, so that 
today, here at home, it poses a very 
real threat 10 the supremacy of the 
ubiquitous [vy look. 

What is the Cardin look? First of all. 
it is not Mod. In suits, it can probs 
best described as an up-to- 
of dothes worn by Edwardian dandies. 
This does not mean that it is necessa 
English, foppish or formidably fo 
does owe a great deal to the tradition of 

c Row fine tailoring, but it has а 

flair that makes it very much a part of 
the present day. The suit comes in either 
a high-buttoncd single-breasted or double- 
breasted model. The arm is cut rather 

igh on the chest and the jacket falls 
naturally from this high cut over the 
body. The trousers are marrow, with a 
slight bell at the ankle. The suit is more 
fitted than suits have been in a long time, 
and it is, finally, robustly elegant 

The total Cardin look includes shirts 
with longer collar points, wide ti 
and shoes of soft kid leather that buckle. 


The collor of the Cardin suit hos sharply notched lapels 
and closes to show only part of the shirt collor. Other dis- 
tinctive features of the Cardin look include stroight-cut 
flaps on oll pockets, including o watch pocket, six buttons 
оп the double-breasted model and deep side vents on 
the jacket. The Cardin shoe shown below is made of soft 


black French kid with an off-center metol buckle. Made 
in France for Florsheim, it sells for about $25 а pair. Prices 
оп the Cardin suit begin ot $200, depending on the fabric. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY LARRY GORDON 


PLAYBOY 


90 


THE FIRST NATIONAL 


Vietnam. But 1 knew this was only a 
smoke screen for the President's peace 
effort. 

My customers’ man assured me it was 
always smart to own a share of American 
ness. J asked if he had heard Pope 
iul's depressing speech at the UN. “The 
Pontiff predicted, ‘War no more; war 
in." Gan Merrill Lynch give me 
peace won't be hell?” 
He explained that the research depart- 
ment felt there was absolutely no chance 
there would be peace in our time. Ap- 
parently it was Merrill Lynch's view that 
vestor I had nothing to fear but 
fear itself. I had heard from other usually 
reliably informed sources, however, that 
the Pope was infallibl 

President Johnson's peace objective 
was for capitalism to triumph all over 
the world. thus creating а great society 
of peacefully competing rival capitalist 
economies, a kind of big ranch system in 
the sky. It finally occurred to me that I 
could have a hedge against peace, while 
supporting the Presidents program, by 
becoming the first person on my block in 
Leonia, New Jersey, to own a share of 
Russi business. 

]. Paul Getty once said the only way 
10 make money in the market is to buy 
when everybody else is selling. Every- 
body had been selling czarist securities 
since 1917 for a sound reason. Investors" 


loss of confidence, I read in Sylvia Por- 
influential. syndicated column, had 
caused by a decree issued by the 


All-Union га! Executive Committee. 
in 1918 and later ratified by the Council 
of People's Commissars in 1920: “Abso- 
lutely, and without exception, all foreign 
loans are annulled.” 

But every American schoolboy knew 
you couldn't trust anything the Russians 
said, especially now that they 
seemed to be losing some of that old rev- 
it. An obscure Russian 
economics professor, 1 read in the news- 
papers, had just discovered the pi 
motive. The Supreme Soviet at its 
session ratified the law of supply and de- 
mand. It was only a short dialectical leap 
forward to project which further contra- 
dictions in Marxist-Leninist doctrine al- 
ready might be in the works: 

4968. Annulment of foreign loans 
unannulled. According to Sylvia Porter, 
Marshal Tito in 1957 resumed’ partial 
debt payments on the Yugoslavian Roy- 
al Family's bonds, in default 27 years, to 
smooth the way for U.S. aid. A similar 
rapprochement might take place when 
the U.S. resumed lend-lease shipments 
to Moscow for use in its coming war 
with Cl 

1969. Foreign bondholders invited 
back to Russia to help current manage- 
ment squeeze a little extra. profit out of 
workers. 
1970. Leningrad Stock Exchange re- 


(continued from page 87) 


opens. State Exchange Commission grants 
franchise to Merrill 1; to open 
branch customers’ rooms in factories and 
communes. 

1971. Mero of Soviet Union medal 
goes to first American investor. The Wall 
Street Journal wins the Lenin Prize for 
business literature. 

1972. Chamber of Deputies votes to 
change name to Chamber of Commerce. 

1973. Communism itself wither: 

1 began my crash program by gi 
a bank to raise the necessary working 
tal. An обсег of the high-prestige 
Morgan Guaranty Trust Company's 
Fifth Avenue branch listened to a few 
of my ant-Roosevelt remarks desi 
to soften him up. "This isn't 
bank that lends money to anybody who 
walks in off -the street". the investment- 
banking-house executive finally sa 
“But we do make exceptions. What is 
your occupation?" 

“I guess you 
industrialist.” 
"Do you work for anybody?” 

Т explained that I had just quit my job 
as a writer to play the market full time. 
“That's what I need the money for. I'm 
taking a little Шег in a real growth situa- 
tion—the Russian bond market" Не 
looked a little concerned, so 1 assured 
him I wasn't expecting to make a quick 

ip on czuist bonds; they were 
strictly a longterm invesument, ог “red 
chips.” "As a conservative investor," 1 
added, "I'm going to limit my 
to only those czarist issues recommended 
by a reputable banker." 

He asked for an example. Fortunately, 
I had found an old brochure in my 
grandmother's house urging Americans 
10 buy Russian war bonds in 1916. The 
Imperial Russian Government Short 
"Term War Loan Бур percent of 1916 
had been highly touted by both J. Р. 
Morgan and Company and the Guaranty 
‘Trust Company; before they merged, the 
two banking houses were the cars 
fiscal agents in the U.S. The banker 
coldly studied the glowing praise his 
predecessors had heaped on the war 
bonds. "Do you mind telling me what 
kind of collateral you're planning to 
use?" he asked. 

“Well, 1 have an unpublished п 
ipt on how to make money in the 
ket.” 

There was an embarrassing silence. Г 
guessed he had seen some of my work as 
a writer and didn’t like my style. "I'll 
pass your application on to the board,” 
he said. "I'm sure they'll give it the full 
consideration it deserves 

As a hedge, I also approached a 
ng investment Бати 
bring you fraternal greetings from the 
capitalisis of Leonia, New Jersey,” I 
wrote to the smallloan manager of the 
State Bank of the U. S. S. R. in Moscow. 


would call me an 


anu- 


len 


Aher listing my financial requirements, I 
explained that the money would be used 
for the purchase of government bonds, 
not to feed my polo ponies. “As for refer 
ences, our FBI has a complere dossier on 
all Americans who may someday do 
business with your government. 1 sug 
gest one of your agenis check my file on 
his regular weekly visit to FBI head- 
quarters in Washington. My credit can 
also be established at the Russian Te 
Room in New York City, where 1 h; 
charge. account.” 

I quietly moved imo the market by 
opening an account with the Merrill 
Lynch customers’ man who had first 
en me the tip to buy Russian bonds. “T'I 
start off with railroads.” I said, remem- 
bering all the time 1 had spent on woop 
trains in the peacetime Army. 

Fm glad you realize defense spend- 
ng is bound to continue," the account ex- 
ecutive said optimistically in the crowded. 
Wall Street board room. “American rail- 
roads arc always а sound investment.” 

"You don't understand. I want to buy 
Grand Russian Railroad Company ihr 
percent of 1869,” 

1 had been tipped off about the G 
Russian while reading Tolstoy's Anna 
Karenina. The novel ends with the her 
oine throwing herself in front of one of 
the Grand Russian’s crack trains. But 1 
wasn't buying into the company because 
of the romance of Russian railroad 
mbing through a book in the 
library on the world’s gre: 
roads, I discovered Grand Russian Rail- 
road still had 103 years remaining on its 
franchise 10 operate the Nicholas Line 
(now the October Line), the main trunk 
between Moscow and Leningrad. Bi 
the issue didn't seem to be my account 
executive's glass of vodka. 

"Stay away from Grand Russian 
threes,” he was shouting. | promptly 
assured him 1 was going to diversify my 
portfolio with other stocks. "Buy East- 
Ural Railroad Comp: four and а half 
percent of 1912 and Trans-Caspian Rail- 
way three and a half percent of 1879." 
My broker's face turned borscht red. He 
obviously hadn't done his homework 
here, either. The three railroads were 
key links in the Trans-Siberian network. 
East-Ural held the franchise for the 
Bardyaush-Lysva section: Trans-Gaspian 
owned the right of way farther down the 
line, between Tashkent and Samarkand. 
Steppe by steppe, 1 planned to buy 
all the ad hoc corporations the cza 
tablished by ukase to build and operate 
the world’s largest railway. 

“The way you said you were worried 
about the market," he was yelling, “I 
thought you were a cautious investor. 
Everybody on the Street knows that stuff 
the worst junk.” 

“Wall Street has been wrong before." 
1 said, proving that 1 had done my cco: 
nomic homework by giving him the first 

(continued on page 168) 


ea 


па 


m 


“Pity your husband doesn't play cards, Mrs. Cartwright . . . ! 


з 
ao 


STARS IN HER EYES 


(Gly configured Fran Gerard 
is a ginl for the stars. She works 
with them—as an astrologer's assist- 
ant in sunny Southern Cal—and 
lives by them. Born under the sign 
of Aries, Fran should be warm, 
outgoing, charming and  strong- 
willed—and she is. And, living as 
she does under her planet, Mars, she 
has been instilled with “a great deal 
of natural courage, a love of pi 
ing, testing, experimenting, 
gatin according to her 
sign s why I've always 
liked the science," says the pretty as- 
sistant stargazer who tends the office 
for a. Hollywood. astrology teacher. 
"We're lorever searching the cosmos 
for new meanings." Our plenipotent 
Playmate is as versant. with combos 
as with cosmos: “Charlie Parker's 
Ornithology was the greatest single 
ever made,” says Fran, "and I think 
E.S.P. by Miles the best 


LP. ata is her c sing 
"e on Cottage for Sale 
s she says, “I have lots of 


favorites, like artists Marc Chagall 
and Salvador Dali. They capture so 
much of the glory of the universe 
in their work, but dont think I'm 
being stuffy; I like Batman, too." 
Fran credits another favorite, a book, 
with being the source of all this 
happiness and satisfaction, “It's The 
Magic of Believing by C. M. Bristol. 
И helps you to think positively." 
The positively smashing Miss Ge- 
тага idea of a perfect man? Clark 
Gable. “Remember him as Rheu 
Butler in Gone with the Wind? He 
Was too much." says Fran appreci- 
atively. In an athletic mood, she is 
apt to try her hand at skiing or 
swimming. “I think you have to 
kcep fit," she says. Our agile astrol- 
oger tends to put mind over matter, 
even though in this case the latter 
(39 6) must be described аз 
heavenly: “I like to think the stars 
are right about me,” says Fran, ges- 
turing toward the mystic chart. “It 
tells me here. for instance, ‘Much 
of your beauty is centered in your 
natural poise, in the way you hold 
your head, sometimes tossing it high 
in defiance, at other times bringing 
your piercing gaze to bear on the 
speaker. You are а natural-born 
leader, work well with other people 

a ys know how to achieve 
group ends.’ I hope I don't sound too 
immodest if I say I think that's true.” 


we predict a sparkling 
future for our heaventy 
bodied miss march 


А top, Fron hosts fellow storgozers in her mountointop home in Southern Colifornia. In touch 
by той with mony like-minded persons, Fran owaits the mailman (ей). Planning her first trip to ski 
country, Miss March peruses the locol newspoper for her horoscope and the lotest reports on ski 
conditions (middle right), then tries on snow glosses. "Ве prepored, | alwoys soy," smiles Fron. 


КО. 


el 


California girls like the outdoors and Fran is no exception. “I think 1 had tried everything but skiing when the man at the Viking Ski 
Shop offered to teach me ta ski. Well, everything but faciball ond boxing maybe. Anyway, it turned aut to be а lat of fun," says 


aur pretty Playmate wha is delightfully girlish despite her Rubensesque figure. "The ‘slope’ turned aut ta be а big piece of canvas,” 
she added. “I'm really locking farward to trying the real thing. И must be an incredibly thrilling feeling ta sweep down a snowy mountain- 
side, air whistling in yaur ears: You must feel like the wind. And, later, ot night, it must be wonderful та be that clase ta the stars. 


Dorothy Parker may have had something when she wrate "Men seldom make posses at girls wha wear glosses," but she certainly 
never hod а glimpse of Miss March. "Actually," smiles Fron, “I don't believe it's true. Most men 1 know don't seem to care. Even 


if they did, though, I'm just nat a person wha маша rather be blind as а bat than be seen with glasses an. It just isn’t worth i 
offirms aur lovely Playmate, less thon convincing as she says she guesses she'll "just have to ga through life looking like o schaalmorm.” 


COLOR FHOTOGRAPHY EY MARIO CASILLI BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY BY GENE TRINDL 


PLAY BOY’S PARTY JOKES 


The prof was telling his eight-:w. class, “I've 
found that the best way to start the day is to 
exercise for five minutes, take а deep breath of 
air and then finish with a cold shower. Then I 
feel rosy all over.” 

A slecpy voice from the back of the room 
responded: “Tell us more about Rosy.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines Lesbians 


as bosom buddies. 


Shortly after his spaceship landed оп the 
moon, the astronaut debarked and began ex- 
ploring the strange new terrain. He had 
walked for only 15 minutcs when he came 
upon a lovely young moon girl, wlio was busily 
stirring an empty pot with a stick. 

"Hi," he said, introducing himself, "I'm an 
astronaut here to discover things about the 
moon." 

"The moon girl stopped stirring long enough 
to throw him quite a pleasant smile. "How nice 
it is that you are formed just like our moon 
men," she observed. Throwing off her clothes, 
she asked, "And am I structured as are carth 
women?” 

Yes, vou are" answered the now: 


cited 


she said. And sure 


the pot. 
Now would you like to see how we make 
babies оп earth?” asked the astronaut. The girl 
agreed and the astronaut proceeded with his 
passionate demonstration. 

‘That was enjoyable,” she said afterward, 
"but where is the baby?" 

“Oh, that takes nine months," explained the 
astronaut 

“Nine months: 
you stop stirring? 


Our Unabashed Diction 
serew ball. 


she asked. “Then why did 


ry defines orgy as a 


Two young Atlanta engineers were reminiscing 
college days when one of them re- 
Т sure wish I could have gone to 
Georgia Tech.” 

Said his friend, "Oh, hell, you wouldn't have 
liked Tech too much. The only graduates they 
have are football p and whores.” 

Ic just so happens that my wife graduated 
from Georgia Tech,” the first man snapped. 

“Oh, really?” answered the friend, realizing 
his faux pas. “Yell me, what position did she 
play?” 


Our Unabashed Dictio 
as a splitting headache. 


marked, 


y defines alimony 


At his Sunday sermon, the local preacher lec 
tured his congregation on the evils of sex and 
iow planned to dramatically demonstrate thc 
laxness of their morals. “Brothers and sisters, 
he exhorted, “upon pain of providential wrath, 
1 want you all to consider your sinfulness. If 
there be any female virgins among this gather- 
ing, let them stand up now, so that we may 
honor them! 

At first, not a single female arose, but then a 
young woman, holding her small child, stood 
up in the back row. 

"You?" shouted the incredulous cleric. “1. 
it true that you're an unwed mother?" 

“Right, preacher.” the young woman re- 
plied. "But did you expect my six-month-old 
daughter to stand up all ype 


Ї was late afternoon in a small Nevada town 
ner of the local beer parlor, 
y ng glassware when his friend 
Mike, obviously agitated, came running in. 

“Joe, baby," he shouted, "get over to your 
house quick. I just stopped off to see if you 
were home and I heard a strangers voice i 
your bedroom. So I looked in the window and 
there—well. I hate to tell you, but your wile is 
in bed with another mai 

“Is that so?" Joe replied calmly. "What does 
this guy look like? 

“Oh, I don't know he’s tall and completely 
bald.” 

“And did he have a thick red mustach 
asked Joc. 

“Right, right!” Mike yelled. 

“And did you notice if he had a gold fro 
tooth?" 

“Damnit, man, you're right!" 

Pouring his friend a beer, Joc remarked 
philosophically, "Must be that jackass Cal 
Thompson—helll make love to anything!" 


a a 


A lovely young thing decided to confide in 
her roommate. “The strangest thing has been 
happening io me,” she said. “Every time 1 
sneeze. I’m overtaken by an unbelievable sen. 
n of wild. passion." 
T've never heard of such a strange illness,” 
her friend answered. “What do vou take 
for 
Came the smiling reply: “Black peppe! 


Heard a good one lately? Send й on а post- 
card to Party Jokes Editor, rLaysoy, Playboy 
Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
Ill. 60611, and earn 850 for each joke used. 
In case of duplicates, payment is made for 
first card received. Jokes cannot be returned. 


--- 


99 


AN EXPENSIVE 


PLAGE 
TU DIE 


Conclusion of a new novel 


By LEN DEIGHTON 


SYNOPSIS: It began on one of those 
bright spring days in Paris. London had a 
job for me, the Embassy courier ex- 
plained, and it involved two things. First, 
1 had to do a little inquiring into the 
affairs of a certain Monsieur Dati, who 
operated а fashionable psychiatric clinic 
in the Avenue Foch. Second, 1 was to 
make sure that some highly secret docu- 
ments on nuclear fallout got stolen from 
me. So, there were two moves—but I 
didn’t know the rules of the game or 
even the names of the other players. 

1 began to find out. As soon as I start- 
ed to ask questions about Datt, a num- 
ber of people developed an interest in 
me. There was Süreté Chief Inspector 
Loiseau, who gave me a stiff hands-off 
warning; there was Maria Chauvet, the 
girl with the green eye shadow, who 
took me to a party at the clinic. There 
was Datt himself, who trapped me, then 
had me drugged and interrogated—a 
disaster retrieved only when Maria pur- 
posely mistranslated my answers. There 
was Jean-Paul, the painter, who stole the 
secret papers I'd planted; there was 
Annie Couzins, the model who stumbled 
out of the clinic nude and bleeding one 
day to die in the street from a score of 
stab wounds. Finally, there was my Епр- 
lish friend Byrd, who, according to the 
police, was her murderer. 

The complex game seemed 10 be 
heading [or one sort of climax when the 
police dug a tunnel from the street into 
the cellars of Datt's clinic—with me, un- 
willingly, leading the way in. The place 
was deserted—bul we did come across 


100 the murder weapon, an Iron Maiden, 


the kind you read about in stories of 
medieval torture chambers. 

When I met Inspector Loiseau again, 
he told me that his main objective was to 
get hold of a collection of film. Far a 
long time, Пай had been secretly pho- 
tographing the sexual activities m the 
clinics private rooms. It was a perfect 
blackmail weapon against some highly 
important people. But my immediate 
interest was in getting Byrd cleared of 
the murder charge—a job made no easier 
because the police weren't. telling where 
they'd put him. 

And then there was Hudson: accord- 
ing to the newspapers, an American 
tourist who had suddenly vanished in 
Paris—but he was far more than that. 
He was a top American nuclear sci- 
entist. I met him through Monique, one 
of the clinic girls, and T found him sit- 
ting in a sidewalk café. What he told me 
began to shed some light on the bigger 
strategy and the stakes of the game. 
American testing in the Pacific had 
shown an unexpectedly high level of fall- 
oul—it was a far dirtier bomb than ever 
reported by the AEC, whose understated 
public reports had given satisfaction to 
the belligerent wing of the Chinese 
Communist leadership. As they saw it, 
China could start а nuclear war, survive 
and win. Thus, the fallout documents 
with their gruesome facts had to be 
leaked to Peking. 

1 arranged to keep Hudson under 
cover; I got Maria to promise to bring 
him quietly to Райз country house for 
a meeting with the Chinese scientist 
Kuang-t'ien, I went on ahead by myself. 

When I inquired in the dusty шие 
village for the whereabouts of Datt's 
house, I got only a surly silence at first— 
but when I found it, Рай was waiting 
for те. Jean-Paul, driving an ambulance, 
arrived shortly thereafter. I got down to 
business by asking for Kuang and, when 
Datt produced him, I phoned Maria to 
bring Hudson round. In the meantime, 
Datt entertained me with a long discus 
sion of his motives and his philosophy— 
all of the films and recordings he’d made 
at the clinic were part of an attempt. to 
analyze human psychology through sex- 
ual behavior. 

After Maria arrived, Hudson went off 
for а private talk with Kuang. The rest 
of us sat down to a fairly elaborate din- 
ner. The food was good, but the conver 
sation turned ugly—Maria announced 
that she'd definitely fallen out of love 


he would have to make 
his final moves in the 
perilous same of nuclear 
intrigue aboard that pi- 
rate radio ship squatting 
ominously in the fog 


with Jean-Paul. He turned on Datt and 
began (0 threaten him. There were, he 
said, a few things about Datt and Annie 
Couns’ murder thal hadn't. been told 
yet. “You need me," Jean-Paul said. But 
he was exactly what Datt didn't need. 

One of Datt's handymen took Jean- 
Paul into the kitchen. They shot him 
there, after the fish course and before 
the meat. When he was hit, Jean-Paul 
pulled his white shirt from his trousers 
and began to stuff it into his mouth. It 
looked like а magician’s trick: how to 
swallow a white shirt; how to swallow a 
pink-dotted shirt; how to swallow a 
dark-red shirt, But he never finished the 
trick 

I had to leave. I had to get Hudson 
and Kuang out of France. 


FROM THE GARAGE we took the ca- 

іопеце—а tiny gray corrugated-metal 
van—because the roads of France are 
full of them. I had to change gear con- 
stantly for the small motor, and the tiny 
headlights did no more than probe the 
hedgerows. It was a cold night and I en- 
vied the warm grimdaced occupants of 
the big Mercs and Citroëns that roared 
past us with just a tiny peep of the horn 
to tell us they had done so. 

Kuang seemed perfectly content to 
rely upon my skill to get him out of 
France. He leaned well back in the hard 
upright seat, folded his arms and. closed 
his eyes, as though performing some 
Oricntal comemplative ritual. Now and 
again he spoke. Usually it was a request 
for a cigarette. 

The frontier was little more than a 
formality. The Paris office had donc us 
proud: three good British passports—al- 
though the photo of Hudson was a bit 
dodgy—over £25 in small notes (Bel- 
gian and French), and some bills and re- 
ceipts to correspond to each passport. 1 
breathed more easily after we were 
through. ГА made а deal with Loiseau, 
so he'd guarantecd no trouble, but 1 still 
breathed more easily after we'd gone 
through. 

Hudson lay flat upon some old blan- 
kets in the rear. Soon he began to snore. 
Kuang spok 

“Are we going to a hotel or are you 
going to blow one of your agents to 
shelter те?“ 

“This is Belgium," I said. "Going to a 


эз vico PATENTVERWERTUNGS- око VERRUGENSVERNALTUNGS єз. нов. H. 


PLAYBOY 


hotel is like going to a police station.” 
What will happen to him 
The agent?" | hesitated. 
pensioned off. Its bad Iud 
the next due to be blown.” 


"Hell be 
but he was 


“And you have someone better in the 
area 

You know we can't talk about that,” 
Г said. 

"Vm not interested professionally," 
Kuang. “I'm a scientist. What the 
British do in France or Belgium is noth- 
ing to do with me, but if we are blowing 
this man, 1 owe him his job." 

“You owe him nothing,” Е said. "What 
the hell do you think this is? He'll be 
blown because it’s his job, just as I'm 
conducting you because that’s my job. 
I'm not doing it as a favor. You owe no 
one anything, so forget it. As far as I'm 
concerned, you are а parcel.” 

Kuang inhaled deeply on his cigarette. 
then removed it from his mouth with his 
long, delicate fingers and stubbed it into 
the ashtray. I imagined him killing 
Annie Couzins. Passion or politics? He 
rubbed the tobacco shreds from his 
fingertips like a pianist practicing trills. 

As we passed through the tightly shut- 
tered „villages, the rough pavé hammered 
the ‘suspension and brighteyed cats 
ed into our lights and fled. One a lit 
slower than the others had been 
squashed as flat as an ink blot. Each suc- 
е set of wheels contributed а new 
pattern to the little tragedy that morning 
uld reveal. 

I had the camionette going at its top 
speed. The needles were still and the 
loud noise of the motor held a constant 
note. Everything was unchanging except 
a brief fusillade of loose gravel ог the 
sudden smell of tar or Ше beep of a 
t 


car. 
We are near Ypres,” said Kuang. 
“This was the Ypres salient," | said. 
Hudson asked for a cigarette. He must 
ave been awake for some time. “Ypres,” 
said Hudson as he lit the cigarette. 
that the site of a World War One 


"One of the biggest," I said. “There's 
scarcely an. Englishman that didn't have 
ive die here. Perhaps a piece of 
Britain died here, too.” 

Hudson looked out of the rear win- 
dows of the van. “из quite a place to 
die,” he said. 


Across the Ypres salient the dawn sky 
was black and getting lower and blacker, 
ike a Bulldog Drummond ceiling. It's a 
grim region, like a vast ША. military 
depot that goes on for miles. Across 
country go tlie roads; narrow slabs of 
concrete not much wider than a garden 
path. and you have the fceling that to go 
off the edge is to go into bottomless 
mud. It's easy to go around in circles and 


102 €ven easier to imagine that you are. 


Every few yards there are the beady- 
d-white notices that point 
the way to military cemeteries where 
of blancowhite headstones 
parade. Death pervades the topsoil, but 
little farms go on operating. 
planting their cabbages right up to 
PRIVATE OF THE WEST RIDINGC—KNOWN 
ONLY то cop. The living cows and dead 
soldiers share the land and there are no 
quarrels. Now in the hedges evergreen 
plants were laden with tiny red berries, 
as though the ground were sweating 
blood. I stopped the car. Ahead was Pas- 
schendaele, a gentle upward slope. 
Which way were your soldiers fac 
ing?” Kuang said. 

Up the slope," I said. “They ad- 
vanced up the slope, sixty pounds on 
their backs and mach guns down 
their throat: 
ng opened the window and threw 
his cigarette butt onto the road. "There 
was an icy gust of wind. 
ts cold," said Kuang. "When the 
wind drops, it will rain." 

Hudson leaned close to the window 
again. “Oh, boy,” he said, "trench war- 
fare here,” and shook his head when no 
word came. “For them it must 
seemed like forever.” 

“For a lot of them it was forever," I 
said. “They are sull here.” 

"In Hiroshima even more 
Kuang. 

“1 don’t measure death by numbers," 
I said. 

"Then it's a pity you were so careful 
not to use your atom bomb on the Ger- 
mans or Italians,” said Kuang. 

I started the motor again to get some 
heat in the car, but Kuang got out and 
stamped around on the concrete road- 
way. He did not seem to mind the cold 
wind. He picked up a chunk of the shi 
clay-heavy soil peculiar to this region, 
studied it and then broke it up and threw 
Jessly across the field of cabbages. 
‘Are we expecting to rendezvous with 
ther car?" he asked. 

Yes," I said. 

“You must have been very confident 
that I would come with you.” 

"Yes," 1 said. "E was. It was logical.” 

Kuang nodded. “Can I have another 
garette?" I gave him one. 

"We're early," complained Hudson. 
"That's a sure way to attract attention. 

“Hudson fancies his chances as a se- 
cret agent," I said to Kuang. 

"| don't take to your sarcasm,” said 
Hudsoi 

"Well, that's real old-fashioned bad 
* I said, "because you are 


Ku: 


have 


said 


an 


stuck with it’ 

Gray clouds rushed across the salient. 
Here and there old windmills—aatic in 
pite of the wind—stood across the sky- 
пе, like crosses waiting for someone to 
be nailed upon them. Over the hill came 
а car with its headlights on. 


They were 30 minutes late. Two men 
in a Renault 16, а man and his son. They 
didn't introduce themselves; in fact, they 
didn't seem keen to show their faces at 
Il. ‘The older man got out of the car and 
ame across to me. He spat üpon the 
road and cleared his throat. 

“You two get into the other car. The 
American stays in this one. Don't speak 
to the boy.” He smiled and gave a short, 
croaky, mirthless laugh. “In fact, don't 
speak to me, even. There's a largescale 
map in the dashboard. Make sure that's 
what you want" He gripped my arm 
as he said it. “The boy will take the ca- 
mionette and dump it somewhere near 
the Dutch border. The American stays in 
this car. Someone will meet them at the 
other end. Irs all arranged.” 

Hudson said to me, “Going with you 

is one thing, but taking off into the blue 
with this kid is another. I think I can 
find my own way . . ." 
"Don't think about it," I told him. 
We just follow the directions on the 
label. Hold your nose and swallow." 
Hudson nodded. 

We got out of the car and the boy 
came across, slowly detouring around us 
as though his father had told him to 
keep his face averted. The Renault was 
nice and warm inside. I felt in the glove 
compartment and found not only a map 
but a pistol. 

“No prints,” I called to the Fleming. 
"Make sure there's nothing else, no 
sweet wrappers or handkerchiefs.” 

"Yes,' said the man. "And none of 
those special cigarettes that are made 
specially for me in onc of those exclusive 
shops in Jermyn Street" He smiled 
sarcastically. "He knows all that 
cent was so thick as to be almost unintel- 
ligible. I guessed that normally he spoke 
Flemish and the French was not natural 
to him. The man spat again in the road- 
way before climbing into the driver's 
seat alongside us. "He's a good boy,” the 
man said. “НЕ knows what to do.” By 
the time he got the Renault started, the 
camionette was out of sight. 

4 reached the worrying stage of the 
journey. "Did you take notes?” I asked 
Kuang suddenly. He looked at me with- 
out answering. “Ве sensible,” I said. “1 
must know if you are carrying anything 
that would need to be destroyed. I know 
there's the box of stuff Hudson gave 
you." I drummed upon it. “Is there any- 
thing else’ 

“A small notebook taped to my leg. 
It’s a thin book. I could be searched and 
they would not find it” 

I nodded. It was something more to 
worry about. 

The car moved at high speed over the 
marrow concrete lanes. Soon we turned 
onto the wider main road that led north 

(continued on page 108) 


THE MC ELROYS were 
swingers. They lived on 
Fifth Avenue in a big new 
duplex full of long white sofas 
and pop paintings, and they adored 
the Beatles, bút they liked the Rolling 

Stones even better. They gave big parties 
that went on and on. Sometimes Andy 
Warhol and his friends came to the Mc- 
Flroys’ parties, although the times they did 
not come were more numerous than the times 
they did. Mr. McElroy had made a bundle in 

Long Island real estate, and the society colum- 
nists knew him as one of the zingy new art collec- 
tors. Mrs. McElroy wore her skirts well above the 


knee and had her hair cut like a boy's on one side and 
like a girl's on the other. Nobody could believe she 


had an 18-year-old son by a previous marriage. She 
did, though. 

Her son’s name was Paul, and he was graduating 
from the Archer School in June. The McElroys 
drove up to see him graduate. They had their jazzy 
dark-green Jag sent around from the garage at 11 
o'clock, and by a quarter to 12 they were winging. 
They took the Henry Hudson and the Saw Mill 
and the Taconic State Parkways, and several state and 


Й for the summer.” 


viui 


fiction By CALVIN TOMKINS 


the prospect of paul hanging 
around the house brought them no 
joy—they hadn't even considered 

the arrival of another 
singularly unwelcome guest 


local routes. During the 
they both wondered 
what it would be like having 
Paul around. For the last five 
years Paul had been spending vaca- 
tions with his own father, a psycho- 
analyst up in Boston, but Paul's 
father had recently married а 22- 
year-old dental technician and now 
Paul was coming to live with the 
McElroys for a while. “The kid bugs 

me, to tell you the honest truth,” Mrs. 

/ McElroy admitted. "He's so goddamn 


high-minded.” 
3 “Maybe hes changed,” Mr. McElroy 
said. He had just learned that the Archer 
School was coeducational. “Anyway, it’s only 


Mr. McElroy drove very fast and cornered 
skillfully, but they had not allowed cnough time. 
When they arrived, the commencement exercises 
were nearly over. They missed seeing Paul receive 
the Good Citizen Award and the prize for The 
Boy Who Has Done Most for Archer, but they 
did see him get his diploma. He looked very tall 
and stern in his dark (continued оп page 139) 


ILLUSTRATION. BY OBERT LOSTUTTER. 


104 


Around the board, from stort to finish: Top to bottom: Chin-up bor fits most 
door Натев, by Healthwoys, $8.95. Tensolator provides bodybuilding isotonic 
tension, by Thoylo, $24.50. Five-spring chest pull, $6.50, ond lightweight row- 
ing opporatus, $425, give your morning exercises оп odded boost, both by 
Heclthwoys. Verve unit reduces measurements of woist, hips, abdomen ond 
thighs without loss of weight, improves muscle tone while you rest, by Relox-o- 
cizor, $307. Souno-King portable steam both on wheels may be used in ony room, 
requires no additional plumbing or special electrical wiring, temperoture con be 
regulated from 150 to 400 degrees, seat is adjustoble, by Moster Distributors, $299. 


Below left, clockwise from 12: Lighted mirror, from Abercrombie & Fitch, $27.50. 
Clossic “shaver features four giant shoving heods, by Shovex, $19.95. Triple- 
header Speedshover con be used world-wide, by Norelco, under $35. 300 Selectro 
shover with dicl-controlled heads, by Remington, $32.95. Clockwise from one: 


Bodger-bristle shoving brush, $30, ond shaving mug with lemon-lime зоор, $10, 
both from Abercrombie & Fitch. Live-Blode razor eliminates short ond diogonol 
strokes, by Stahly, $24.50. Techmotic razor, by Gillette, $2.95. Travel shoving brush 
of badger bristles comes with base ond cose, from Hoffritz, $8.50. Hot-lother 
dispenser comes with three-months supply of стест lather, by Shane, $2495. 


You've now complere., 

Г Фе 
opening stretch of yp 
full steam ahead 2, 


Below right: Three grooming brushes (bocks up) of boor bristle include both brush, skin- 
toner foce brush and combination noil and hond-scrubber brush, all by Mohawk, $10 the 
set. Additional nail brush of bristle ond Duroton, $7.50, and animolhoir, Duroton and bristle 
both brush, $20.75, both by Kent of London. Automotic steom generotor transforms bath- 
room or shower stoll into steom bath in 20 minutes, has time ond temperoture control, by 
Thermasol, $395. Porloble whirlpool both fils in tub, relaxes ond gently soothes, by 
Jacuzzi Research, $285. Neptune oscillating sun lamp with duol-element quortz ultro- 
violet lomp includes seporote Nichrome lamp for infrared heot boths, comes with built-in 
timer, legs fold for easy storoge, goggles included, by Engelhard Hanovio, $149.95. 


Below, clockwise from one: Deluxe cordless electric shover has dual-volt charging stond, 
pistol grip ond micro-thin stoinless-steel shaving screen, by Ronson, $4495. Cordless Shave- 
moster 888 with six precision-honed surgicol-steel blades has built-in power supply or 
con be used on house current, by Sunbeom, $41.95. Super 3-speed medel 233 shaver ollows 
shoving depth to be adjusted to eight different positions, by Schick, $29.95. Accumen battery 
shover feotures "LumiRing" that spotlights orea to be shaved, four stoinless-stee! cutters 
осор! to fece contour, recharges directly from woll socket, from Hoverhill's, $24.95. 
Portable Sun Roy lamp weighs only 2/ Ibs., costs both ultraviolet ond infrared roys, 
comes with detachable cord and protective glosses, by Braun Electric America, $50. 


Bottom left, left to right: Persian Leother soap set, by Coswell-Massey, $475. Brut ofter- 
shave balm, А10, ozs., by Fobergé, $5. Allercreme shampoo for men, 4 ozs, by Texos 
Pharmacal Campary, $1.50. Broggi Face Bronzer gives outdoor laok, 3 ozs., by Charles 
Revson, $5. Jaguar deodorant stick, $2, and Jaguor All-Purpose Powder, 2/4 ozs., $2.50, 
both by Yardley. Clockwise from nine: Dark tanning oil, 4 azs., by Seo & Ski, $1.49. Canoe 
deodorant stick, by Dono, $2. Onyx ofter-shave ond cologne sel, 2/2 ozs. each, by 
Lentheric, $5. By Georgel hair control, 4 azs., by Согу! Richards, $2. Old Spice lime 
talc, 2/2 ozs, by Shultan, $1.50. T-Lok teeth-whitening toothpaste, o French export, by 
Laborotoires Coze, $2. High Sierra after-shave ice, 2/2 ozs., by Mennen, $1. Clockwise 


we 
oo w 
your E eS 


TN 
NI 


ling cologne and ofter-shove trovel kit, З ozs. eoch, by Speidel, $7.50. Койо 
lime cologne imported Кот the Virgin Islands, B ozs., by Huntley, Lid., $7.50. 
Grooming kit includes noil file, comb, military brush, by Kent of London, 
$14.50. ZP 11 anti-dondruff hairdressing, 31/2 ozs., by Revlon, $2. Infrored Vibro- 
Massage olso emits heot, by Oster, under $13. Club brush, $11, poir of militory 
brushes, $25, all by Kent of London. Left to right: Roto-Stroke electric hoirbrush 
ond scolp mossager, by Ronson, $26.95. Multi-use electric dryer, by Braun Electric 
America, $25. Hondy Comb п Go electric hoir comb, by Owen Fronks, $5.95. 


Top right: Water Pik for dentol hygiene, by Aquo Tec, оБом $30. Top to bot- 
tom: Manicure set, from Soks, $16. Mini-Shover, with blode supply, by Roller 
Mini-Shover, $6.95. Moni-Groom helps remove cuticles, by Revlon, $1.50. Dip- 
lomot shoe polisher, by Dremel, $29.95. Shoe polisher Model SP-1 plus ottach- 
ments ond storage chest, by Generol Electric, $26.98. Electric footwear dryer, 
from Max Schling Seedsmen, 57.98. Clockwise from ten: Nylon clothes brush, 
by Mohowk, $5. Rechorgeoble electric clothes brush, by Generol Electric, 
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by Kent of London, $8.50. Steam ond press volet, by Westinghouse, $19.95. 


PLAYBOY 


108 


EXPENSIVE PLACE TO ШЕ 


to Ostend. We had left the overfertilized 
salient behind us. The fearful names— 
‘Tyne Cot, St. Julien, Poelcapelle. Wester- 
hoek and Pilckem—faded behind us 
as they had faded from memory, for 50 
years had passed and the women who had 
wept for the countless dead were also 
dead. Time and TV, frozen food and 
transistor radios had healed the wounds 
and filled the places that once seemed 
unfillable. 

“What's happening?” I said to the 
driver. He was the sort of man who had 
to be questioned or else he would offer 
no information. 

“His people," he jerked his head to- 
ward Kuang, "want him in Ostend. 
‘Twenty-three hundred hours tonight at 
the harbor. I'll show you on the city 
plan." 
arbor? What's happening? Is he 
going aboard a boat tonight?" 
hey don't tell me things like that," 
said the man. "I'm just conducting you 
to my place to see your сазе officer, then 
оп to Ostend to see his case officer. It's 
all so bloody boring. My wife thinks 1 
get paid because it’s dangerous, but I'm 
always telling her: I get paid because it's 
so bloody boring. Tired?” I nodded. 
"We'll make good time, that's one ad- 
vantage; there's not much traffic about 
at this time of morning. There's not 
much commercial traffic if you avoid the 
intercity routes.” 

“Its quiet" Е said. Now and again 
small flocks of birds darted across the 
sky, their eyes secking food in the hard 
morning light, their bodies weakened by 
the cold night air. 

“Very few police,” said the man. “The 
cars keep to the main roads. It will rain 
soon and the cyclists don't move much 
when из raining. И be the first rain for 
two weeks.” 

“Stop worrying, 
will be all right.” 

“He knows what to do,” 
agreed. 


" I said. "Your boy 


the man 


The Fleming owned a hotel not far 
from Ostend. The car turned into a 
covered alley that led to a cobbled 
courtyard. A couple of hens squawked as 
we parked, and a dog howled. “It's 
" said the man, "to do anything 
clandestine around here." 

He was a small, broad man with sal- 
low skin that would always look dirty, no 
matter what he did to it. The bridge of 
his nose was large and formed a straight 
line with his forehead, like the nose 
metal of a medieval helmet. His mouth 
was small and he held his lips tight to 
conceal his bad teeth. Around his mouth 
were scars of the sort that you get when 


(continued from page 102) 


thrown through a windscreen. He s 
to show me it was a joke rather tha 
apology. and the scars made a pattern 
around his mouth like a tightened hair 
net. 

The door from the side entrance of the 
hotel opened and a woman in a black 
dress and white apron stared at us. 

“They have come,” said the man. 

"So 1 see,” she said. "No luggage?” 

“No luggage” said the man. She 
seemed по need some explanation, as 
though we were a man and a girl trying 
to book a double room. 

“They need to rest, ma jolie móme," 
said the man. She was no one's pretty 
child, but the compliment appeased her 
for a moment. 

"Room four," she said. 

“The police have been?” 

"Yes," she said. 

“They won't be back until night,” said 
the man to us. “Perhaps not then, even. 
‘They check the book. It’s for the taxes 
more than to find criminals.” 

“Don't usc all the hot water,” said the 
woman. We followed her through the 
yellow peeling side door Ино the hotel 
entrance hall. There was a counter made 
of carelessly painted hardboard and a 
rack with eight keys hanging from it. 
The lino had the large square pattern 
that's supposed to look like inlaid 
ble; it curled at the edges and something 
hot had indented a perfect cirde near 
the door. 

"Name?" said the woman grimly, as 
though she were about to enter us in the 
register. 

"Don't ask," said the man. "And they 
won't ask our name." He smiled as 
though he had made a joke and looked. 
anxiously at his wife, hoping that she 
would join in. She shrugged and reached 
behind her for the key. She put it down 
on the counter very gently, so she could 
not be accused of anger. 

“They'll need two keys, Sybil.” She 
scowled at him. “They'll pay for the 
rooms.” he said. 

“We'll pay,” I said. Outside, the rain 
began. It bombarded the window and 
rattled the door as though anxious to 
get in. 

She slammed the second key down 
upon the counter. “You should have tak- 
сп it and dum] said the woman 
angrily. “Rik could have driven these 
two back here." 

“This is the important stage," said the 
man. 

"You lazy pig," said the woman. “If 
the alarm is out for the car and Rik gets 
stopped driving it, then we'll sce which 
is the important stage.” 

"The man didn't answer, nor did he 
look at me. He picked up the keys and 


led the way up the creaky staircase. 
Mind the handrail,” he said. “It’s not 
fixed properly yet." 

othing is" called the woma 
The whole place is only half h 

He showed us into our rooms. They 
were cramped and rather sad, shining 
with yellow plastic and smelling of 
quick-drying paint. Through the wall 1 
heard Kuang swish back the curtain, put 
his jacket on a hanger and hang it up. 
There was the sudden chug-chug of the 
water pipe as he filled the washba 
The man was still behind me, h 
on as if waiting for something. Г put my 
finger to my суе and then pointed to- 
ward Kuar the man nodded. 
“ГІ have the car ready by twenty-two 
hundred hours. Ostend isn't far from 
hei 

"Good," I said. I hoped he would go, 
but he stayed there. 

"We used to live in Ostend,” he said. 
“My wile would like to go back there. 
There was life there, The counury is too 
quiet for her.” He fiddled with the bro 
ken bolt on the door. It had been paint 
ed over but not repaired. He held thc 
pieces together, then let them swin 
apart. 

I stared out of the window: it faced 
southwest, the way we had come, The 
rain continued and there were puddles 
in the roadway and the fields were mu 
dy and windswept. Sudden gusts 
knocked over the pots of flowers under 
the crucifix and the water running down 
the guuers was bright red with the soil it 
had carried Вот somewhere out of sight. 

“1 couldn't let the boy bring you,” 
the man said. “I'm conducting you. Г 
couldn't let someone else do that, not 
even family.” He rubbed his face hard, 
as if he hoped to stimulate his thought. 
“The other was less important to the suc 
cess of the job. This part is vital.” He 
looked out of the window. "We needed 
this rain," he said, anxious to have my 
agreement. 

“You did right,” I said. 

He nodded obsequiously, as if Га 
given him a ten-pound tip, then smiled 
and backed toward the door. “I know I 
did,” he said. 


alter 


/s room; 


My case officer arrived about 11 A-M; 
there were cooking smells. A large black 
Humber pulled into the courtyard and 
stopped. Byrd got out. “Wait,” he said to 
the driver. Byrd was wearing a short 
Harristweed overcoat and a matching 
сар. His boots were muddy and his trou 
ser bottoms tucked up to avoid being 
soiled. He clumped upstairs to my room, 
dismissing the Fleming with only a 
grunt. 

“You're my case officer?” 

(continued on page 173) 


J he Sanguage of 4 ес 9 оилид е, 
fa а Еа ОН 


INTERNATIONAL GASTRONOMISTS have unanimously crowned French cooking the king of cui- 
sines; for no matter where peripatetic food fanciers dine—be it Lisbon, London or New York 
—outstanding menus in the language of the land are interlaced with Gallic culinary terminol- 
ogy. Why French and not Flemish or Finnish or Fiji? Simply because France has contributed 
more to cooking in the past hundred years than any other country; therefore, many Gallic 
creations have no translatable equivalent in any other language. And great dishes deserve 
their native tongue. Chateaubriand by any other name would sound silly. 

When first pondering a massive carte du jour set before you in a French restaurant, 
don't panic. Immediately you'll recognize a few old friends, including hors d'oeuvre, con- 
sommé, croquette, soufflé, meringue, parfait and demitasse, Nor do you need a crash course in 
Romance languages to know that abricot is apricot, saumon is salmon, cótelette is cudet and 
boeuf is beef. But language hopping can take you only so far. For example, vol-au-vent tans- 
lates as "flown with the wind.” It sounds like an airy dessert that literally melts in your 
mouth. Actually, из a sumptuous pastry shell, light, to be sure, that may be filled with 
chunks of lobster or chicken in a smooth sherried sauce. French menuese, in other words, 
is a special department of the French tongue. Eyery professional chef worth his toque 
blanche keeps a French culinary dictionary in his kitchen desk. Every contemporary epicure 
should have access to an abbreviated one. 

By common agreement, epicureans divide fine cooking into three main types. First is la 
haute cuisine (in other words, “super cooking”), a category that contains those outstanding 
culinary creations served up in trés bons restaurants around the globe. The superb dishes in 
this division all have French names, regardless of their country of origin. For example, boeuf 
Stroganoff, a dish that obviously involves Russia, is known the world over—even in its home- 
land—by the French nomenclature. With few exceptions, there are no acceptable translations 
for the comestibles included in this category. Some of the outstanding fare that qualifies as 
haute cuisine contains the name of a specific individual (always capitalized) to whom the 
dish has been dedicated. Marguery, for example, was the owner of a turn-of-the-century 
Paris bistro. He was famed for a fish dish that now proudly bears his name—filets de soles 
Marguery. If you tried to replace Marguery with English, you'd have to say, “fillet of sole 
poached in a combination of fish stock, mussel stock and white wine, covered with a sauce 
made from the same stocks, plus egg yolks, grated cheese and hollandaise sauce [another 
French term], gamished with mussels and shrimp, and glazed under the broiler until 
brown.” Settle for the laconic Marguery—a single word for an exceptionally succulent serv- 
ing. (Sometimes the gastronomic immortalization comcs from the gourmet and sometimes 
it comes from the chef; either way, you're guaranteed excellent cating.) 

‘The second category is la cuisine régionale. Jt contains those creations that bear the 
names of the French districts in which they originated. Here, the tide is usually retained 
in the original tongue (such as filets de sole Normande) or, if that proves exceptionally 
awkward, it's translated into the language of the country in which the dish is being served. 
Madras curry in France, for example, would be le curry de Madras, but if you see it spelled 
this way while dining in America, beware! The proprietor may be attempting to pass off 
cuisine régionale at haute cuisine prices. 

When regional cooking for which nought but the full French name will suffice is served, 
the place of origin is used as either an adjective or a noun and is connected to the phrase 
à la mode. Therefore, pheasant cooked in the Alsacian manner (with sauerkraut) would be 
either le faisan à l'alsacienne or simply le faisan alsacien. When à la mode stands alone, 
it means “according to the manner" of the country you are in. (continued on page 124) 


109 


opinion By PAUL GOODMAN rrenicrions about the future of America / 
during the next generation are likely to be in one of two sharply contrasting moods. 

On the one hand, the orthodox liberals foresee a Great Society in which all will 4 
live in suburban comfort or the equivalent; given a Head Start and Job Train- 
ing, Negroes will go to college like everyone else, will be splendidly employed 
and live in integrated neighborhoods; billboards will be 200 yards off new 
highways, and the arts will flourish in many Lincoln Centers. On the other 
hand, gloomy social ct nd orthodox conservatives, see that we are 
headed straight for 1984, when everyone's life will be regimented from 

the cradle to the grave by the dictator in Washington; administrative 


today’s college students—disenchanted with 


a world they never made and more activist than ever 
before—are America’s emergent power elite 


double talk and Newspeak will be the only language; Negroes will be kept at 
bay by the police (according to the social critics) or will be the pampered 
shock troops of demagogs (according to the conservatives); we will all be 
serial numbers; civil liberties and independent enterprise will be no more. 
Yet these predictions have much in common. They assume the con- 
tinuation of the same trends and attitudes that are now in full sway. There 
will be increasing centralization in decision making, increasing mass educa- 
tion as we now know it, a stepped-up rate of technical growth and a grow- 
ing Gross National Product, and more use of a technological style—of 
“planning” or “social engineering,” depending (continued on page 152) 


THE BUNI 


OF 


1550108 


а words-and-pictures 
paean to the hutch honeys 
of the show-me state 


MissouRt may evoke images of 
Harry Truman to the historian, 
Stan Musial to the baseball fan, 
Mark Twain to the bibliophile, 
Charlie Parker to the jazz buff 
and even the Gateway Arch to 
the tourist; but to connoisseurs 
of female pulchritude, the 
Show-Me State has recently 
shown just one thing —beauti- 
ful Bunnies. The Playboy Club 
in St. Louis had been entertaii 
ing keyholders for almost tw 
years when the opening of the 
nsas City Club conferred on 
Missouri the distinction of being 
the first state in the Union with 
two links in the ever-expanding 
Playboy key chain. Two Playboy 
Clubs means two hutchfuls 
of cottontails, a fact of which 
swivel-necked Missouri males, 
from St. Louis’ Gaslight Square 
to К C's Baltimore Street, are 
joyfully and frequently aware. 
The Bunnies of Missouri are 
uniquely a product of the 
Show-Me State. In both bad 
ground and outlook, they reflect. 
the unique style of informal ur- 
banity that characterizes the 
Missouri yboy Clubs 
large р 
are local gir 
Kansas City Bunnies and 85 
percent of the St. Louis cotton 
tails grew up hardly a hop (rom 
the local hutch. Their familiari- 
ty with the manners and mores 
of the Midwest makes them 
right at home with indigenous 
keyholders and provides a local- 
ly colored slice of real Missouri 
for visitors from out of state. 
From the four corners of Mis- 
souri—from the boot-heel flat- 
land of Cape Girardeau and the 
Huckleberry Finn country of 
Hannibal; from places whose 
very names smack of American 
Gothic—West Plains, Sedalia, 
Independence and even (o 
help us!) Tightwad; in fact, 
from all over Mid-America, 
good-looking, brainy and talent 
ed young women have been 
drawn to Kansas City and St 
Louis by the excitement of cos- 
mopolitan life and the glamor 
that Playboy's satin ears bestow. 
Statistically, the Bunnies of 
Missouri are slightly more sym- 
meuical than the international 
Bunny average (36-93-35): K 
sas City's finest measure а Ru 
hensesque 950—which 
distills a shapely 35-23-35 


(text continued on page 146) 


Like mony Missouri cottontoils, blonde Brigitte Kecling—shown relaxing at home and toble- 
hopping at the К.С. Ployboy Club—boasts academic credentials ta match her physical endow- 
ments. A 38-24-36 Früuleinwunder wha come to America from Kirn, Germany, Brigitte graduated 
from the University of Oklahoma with an A-minus average. She speoks faur languages fluently, 
plans further study in London. Storr Scott, who hails fram Horry Truman's home town of Independ- 
ence, acts in K. C. Shakespeare productions ond hos big doe eyes for o drama career. Over in 


Si. Louis, redhead Brenda DouBrove is o part-time остоБо! and o prespeclive gym teacher. 


The mirror on the Bunny Room wall reveals Mary John as one of Kansas City’s foires 
Mary pens poetry in her spare time, awns a pet iguana. Among her hutchmates, demi- 
clod Bobbi Thompson wos once a telephone operator, while luscious Gina Lothrope, 


114 gracious greeter of К. C. keyhalders, isa homebody who hates sunlight, loves іо cook. 


Dollos 
come to Ployboy alter go-go don 


born Glenna Burch reloxes after ап evening s frugging at the К. С. Club. One of the most talented terpsichorines in the key choin, Glenno 
ing in New Orleans ond Konsos City. A self-proclaimed night person, she digs Mad clothes, new dances and poa- 

dles, dreams of awning her own dance studio. She often shores Konsos City Penthouse duties with Nancy Stephens, o droma graducte from the 

University of Kansas. Multilingual Nancy's background includes bath ocling and direcling; she hopes lo run a children's theoter next summer. 115 


Shutterbug Anne Wilson brings o camera-perfect 36-18-36 form to her duties оз 
Photo Bunny at the Kansas City Club. She first took up photography of college. 
Eloine Bergman's hobby—privote flying—is aptly symbolized by St. Louis" sooring 
Gateway Arch. When по! grocing the locol Club (facing page, top left), Eloine 
is likely to be winging cross-country—often ot the controls—in her fother's plane. 


Kansas City keyholders rate German-born Gigi McMillen [top right) one of Missouri's 
noturol wonders, She wos K. C.'s Best Bunny for 1964, boosts о 40-23-35 figure and o 
lorge following of robbitués. Poisley-shirted Noncy Gaines, another of Kansas Cily's 
finest, digs sporis cors and kookie clothes. Over in St. Louis, ort Бий Rito Lockette 


totes herself "o very serious person,” spends afternoons browsing а! local golleries. 


118 


When she's not on the telephone, K. C. Bunny Martie Roberts, а 
40-24-37 produc! of West Plains, Missouri, practices gourmet 
cooking. Blonde Bev Ringel, another К. C. cottontail, is an avid 
bowler who once broke 200. Hulchmate Terri Schmidt, a skillful 
and buoyant water skier, spends vacations hunting in Canada. 


Koy Clork (осме left) is onather Kansos City cattantail fram Independence. A quiet, soft-spoken girl, Коу enjoys folk singing ond modern 
she loves life, but 


sometimes fram a detached point of view—os а speclolor, os well os o participant." Whether spectotor or 
sant, blonde Bev Mosek is o robid ond outgoir 


sportnik. She's o fine softball ployer, o loyal fon of the boseboll Cardinals, even hos 
her awn box seat behind the firsi-bose dugout in St. Louis new Memorial Stadium. Back in Konsos City, artistically inclined Babette Scheideman, 


another folk-music buff, spends her free time doing chorcool sketches, woter colors ond o bit af sculpting—in Соу, bronze ond stainless steel 


119 


I'm the shortest Bunny anywhere,” says pint-sized Lucy Martin (top left) 

' keeps trim swimming ond woter-skiing, somelimes with on. 
other louis aquanetie, André Johnson, a Former surfer who frequently 
writes home to farawoy Honolulu. Outdoor girl June Hondy is one of the 
most proficient pool players in the Playboy choin; her St. Louis hutchmate, 
Nilo Rain, en indoor type, digs classical music and Jane Austen novels. 


Joyce Chadwick [left], proclaimed by columnist Ear! Wilson os "а great undiscovered American 
beauty,” won a trip to France when she was recently voted St. Louis’ Best Bunny. Over in 
Kansas City, Jone Schroeder breeds quorter horses as o hobby, has won prizes іп с bone- 
rolling rodeo event colled "Ihe cowgirl's barrel race.” She spends free afternoons cantering 
(ог just relaxing) in the woods. Raven-haired Brondi Christ, another K.C. animal lover, is 
Бой Cherokee, owns с роди of pets ond hopes to use her Bunny lettuce to open a pet shop. 


121 


Ribald Classic Hee Lady’s tale from а 16th Century French fable 


SOME. 50 YEARS after our dear master Rabelais passed from this 
earth, there lived in his town of Chinon the lady Diane de 
Montrouge, who had a secret that would have charmed him. 

Traveler, do you know Chinon? It is a pretty town in the 
province of Touraine and it lies on the river Vienne. Atop its 
hill rears the great castle of Henry H, where Joan the Maid, 
of blessed memory, first met the ugly Dauphin Charles and 
exposed his trick. Exactly beneath the hill runs а narrow 
cobbled street of shops and inns and houses where the dying 
Richard Coeur de Lion, legend says, was brought from the 
siege with) а Сини стоене HON Е shoulder: Buc none се 
these wonders is as astonishing as the story of the lady Dianc. 

She came as a suanger—her family demesne, it was said, 
someplace in the wild Dordogne. Only Cod knows how 
the Sieur de Montrouge met. wooed and married her. Не 
was a stern, laconic, shortiempered man. For 20 years he 
had been a soldier and his hair was the ashy color of one of 
the burned-out Huguenot castle keeps to which he had put 
the torch. He was very rich and, besides the lands of Mont- 
rouge. he owned a splendid hotel, or city mansion, in the 
street where the wounded Lionheart was borne long ago. 

The lady Diane was as lovely as the first bright April day; 
her hair way the color of harvest wheat: her form was supple. 
On Sundays all the young men jostled one another to get a 
glimpse of her at Mass. But, within a few months, her smile 
was gone. When she appeared in the street, which w 
seldom, people always had the impression that she had just 
dried her tears. Even De Montrouge servants talk—a_ little. 
On the second bottle at the inn, one of them might forget his 
trepidations just enough to mumble something about how his 
master had put the lady Diane in the old wing of the hotel 
where now she lived apart—or he might let drop а hint of 
screams they had heard at night behind closed doors, how 
his master had cursed and said "Devil!" more than once. But 
De Montrouge servants do not talk much. It is not very 
gratifying to go about Ше world with only one ear. 

It ned that Michel de Sancerre [ell in love with the 
lady. He was а young man of good family and he could have 
had for himself any one of the young ladies, fat and. pink as 
so many pastries, who would have brought him a fine dowry. 
Instead, he moped near the gate of the De Montrouge hotel, 
followed the lady Diane whenever she walked, and attended. 
Mass frequently enough to save his soul—il his thoughts had 
really been on heaven. Or, at least, what God-fearing folk like 
you and me mean by it. Michel attained near to his own kind 
of heaven one day—who knows behind what hedge, in what 
shady outskirt of Chinon? We can imagine that he spoke, that 
the lady answered, that eyes spoke again, that hands touched. 

Now, the Sieur de Montrouge owned а seldom-used hunt- 
ing lodge in the forest some five leagues from Chinon. One 
day the king, who was lying at Amboise, sent for him. That 
morning my lord of Montrouge could be seen riding through 
one gate in his usual proud and scornful way: that evening 
my lady of Montrouge could be seen, muffled and veiled, slip- 
ping through the other, with only her maid to accompany her. 

1 was dark when Michel reached the lodge. He found 
Diane prepared with cold roast fowl and a Боше of wine, 


and they supped together for the first time. But there were 
even finer delicacies—as he found when Diane blew out the 
candles; it was lovemaking such as he had never imagined. 
In the morning when he awoke, the lady Diane was gone. 

The second night passed in the same way. On the third 
morning, he awoke and found her still beside him. With a 
smile of pleasure, he turned to look at all those delightful 
things he had felt but never seen, They were as smooth and 
shapely as he had been led to expect—but suddenly, in horror, 
he realized that there was something additional he had mot 
expected. She had rolled on her right side. Just at the end of 
her spine, Michel saw a supple tail. It was about a yard long, 
slender. and covered with a soft down. It must have slipped 
out from beneath the extra sheet she had used to conceal it. 
Jesus save me! thought Michel, 1 have slept with the Devil's 
daughter! And he lunged for his clothes. 

The lady Diane awoke and instantly saw that he had scen. 
She burst into tears. “Now you will hate me,” she said, “but 
it isn't my fault! Fm not a devil or a monster, but poor, 
unlucky girl Oh, Michel!" Michel was too busy crossing 
himself with onc hand and tying to dress with the other to 
give her an answer. At that instant there came the sound of 
horses’ hools outside and a heavy blow on thc door 

In the voice that had launched a thousand horsemen into the 
charge, the Sieur de Montrouge shouted, “Devil, I know not 
who is with you, but both of you shall burn!” "There was a 
crackling sound outside and a little smoke came through around 
the door, Michel ran to the windows, but they were shuttered 
and bared Пот the outside. The fire grew fiercer: Michel 
grew frantic. He dropped to his knees and began to pray 

Bur the lady Diane arose from the bed, still in all her 
naked beauty and with the tail gently swaying as she 
ked. She went to Michel and took his dagger from his 
belt. At las! he thought, and prepared to die bravely. But 
she went quickly to the window on the far side of the lodge 
and with the dagger she made a small hole in the shutter, As 
Michel watched in amazement, she extended her тай through 
that hole and lifted the outside bar. In a few moments they 
had got through and into the forest. 

They rode all day into Brittany. At first they were silent, 
Michel still shaken by what had happened. But, as he looked. 
at her face, at her beauty and into her tearful eyes, he could 
not help falling in love again. "It is really not so bad, my 
love," she said. "You will get used to it. And, besides, it has 
certain advantages you cannot even guess 

He discovered them that night at the inn. Never before in 
his life had he imagined such caresses, such novelties or such 
refinements of lovemaking. And it does not behoove us 
sober, pious folk to try to imagine them for oursely 

The Sieur de Montrouge died in some forgotten battle. In 
time, Michel and his lady came back to live in Chinon. They 
had, in the course of things, four fine sons and four fine daugh 
ters. Their great.grandchildren live on in Chinon to this day 

Perhaps you have wondered why it is that the young men 
of Chinon have such a great curiosity to lift the skirts of a 
prety girl. And now you know. 

— Retold by Roderick Cameron ЕЙ 


PLAYBOY 


124 spinach dumpl 


Gallic Goursmmardise, (continued from page 109) 


Now, a few general tips. When orde 
bird such as duck (canard), 
that le canard means you are ordering 
the whole duck. cooked in the manner 
indicated; but the omission of le cou- 
pled with an adjective means that you'll 
get fowl served in some other form, such 
as in a casserole. (This rule has its ex- 
ceptions; egg dishes and most fish dishes 
have an article before them only when 
they are haute cuisine.) 

The French word au can convert a 
noun to an adjective, as in oeufs au plat 
(eggs broken onto a plate for cooking), or 
it can stand alone as an abbreviation for 
the phrases au parfum de ог аи saveur 
de (“with the flavor of"). Thus, оше au 
Madère is a cake flavored. with mad 

On all menus, in every 1 


can expect a certain amount. of hanky 
panky. In this respect, the French arc 
like all other chefs. If you sce le coq au 
Chambertin listed on a menu, the proper 
translation would be “whole chicken 
cooked with the burgundy wine Chamber- 
tin"—one of the greatest and most expe 
sive red wines in the world. In 
probability, what you'll actually get is 
the traditional coq au vin made with a 
good diy a red. French chefs 
above taking foreign foods and 
dubbing them with French terminology 
when they can get away with it. Thus, 
American wild rice appears in some Pari 
sian restaurants as riz sauvage; and the 

alian desert zabaglione, made of egg 
yolks, sugar and marsala wine, is cor- 
rupted into the French sabayon. But no 
Gallic chel would dream of listing spa- 
ghetti or ravioli by any other names, Also, 
French eateries have never taken spelling 
100 seriously. You'll see rice on one menu 
spelled pilaf. On others it’s pilau or pi- 
law, N'importe! The proof of the dish is 
in the cating. 

If le, la or les appears in front of most 
dishes and @ la mode keeps popping, up 
the way truflles should in а truffle omel 
is unnecessar- 
ily padding his bill of fare (also, perhaps, 
his table checks) in hopes of attracting 
linguistically uninformed customers who 
judge French cuisine by word count, not 
by how it tastes. Unless you know the food 
to be first-rate, pass the restaurant by. 

The following Gallic glossary is com- 
posed of basic foods (пийте is oyster, 
veau ) as well as Ше styles in 
which the ingredients appear (the à las, 
garnishes, sauces, proper etc). 
Florentine, for example, tells you that 
the dish contains spi 
Florentine 


are 


chances are the proprietor 


is уса 


names, 


h. Consommé 
is a consommé with light 
ngs. Oeufs à la florentine 


are poached eggs on a bed of spinach, 
covered with a light cheese sauce and 
browned in a hot oven. However, no 
glossary of French menu terms could 
possibly include the hundreds of sauce: 
and countless garnishes that have been 
served up at French—or Frenchtyled— 
restaurants everywhere. Occasionally you'll 
come across a dish that isn’t listed in this 
ог any other glossary, When you do, act 
like a native Frenchman on vacation 
ether dining in Tokyo. London o 
New York, he'll never hesitate to signa 
the headwaiter and ask for a brief explana 
tion of such menuisms as Perdreau à la 
Souvarof (partridge with goose liver and 
ШИШ 

Armed with this briel glossary of ma- 
jor foods, major sauces and major meth- 
ods of preparation. you should be able to 
wend your way through a Е 
with шие trouble and not feel like a 
square or а hick for asking the precise 
meaning of words and phrases on the 
menu that bafle you. 


nch menu 


MAJOR FOODS 


Ballottine—Boned, stuffed, rolled poul- 
try or meat, often lamb 
Ватоп- Той and leg of lamb or mutton, 
sometimes double loin of beef 
Bavarois—Dessert of сима gi 
whipped cream 
Beignet—Friuer. of cooked batter with 
pples, bananas, etc. 
Bisque—Purée shellfish soup 
Blanguetle—White stew usually of veal 
and mushrooms 
Boeu[—Bect 
Bouillabaisse—Fish stew of. 
garlic, parsley, saffron 
Canard or Caneton—Duck 
Carbonades—Beer-flavored beef stew 
Cassoulet de Castelnaudary—Stew of 
goose, mutton, pork, beans 
Cevise—Cherry 
Cham pignon- Mushroom. 
Chapon—Capon 
Chateaubviand—Double- or t 
tenderloin steak 
Chou—Cabbage. Choux de Bruxelles— 


shellfish, 


plethick 


Brussels sprouts. Chou-fleur—Cauli- 
flower. Chou rouge—Red cabbage. 
Chou vert—Green cabbage. Chou 


farci—Stulled cabbage 
Choucroute—Sauerkraut 
Citron—Lemon 
Civel—Game stew with onions, mush- 
rooms, red wine 
Contre filetSirloii 
Coq аи vin—Chicken stewed in wine 
Crépe—Thin pancake, often filled and 
rolled 
Cresson —Watercress 
Crevette—Shrimp 
Croustade—Fried hollowed bread ог pas- 
пу filled with food in sauce 


Daube—Meat braised in one piece, or 
large cubes, with wine 

Dinde, dindon, dindonneau—Vi 

crevisse—Crayfish 

Emincé—Thinly sliced small pieces of 
cooked meat or poultry in sauce 

Entrecóte— Thick sirloin (sometimes r 

steak. 

pinards—Spinach 

scar got—Sniail 

Faixan—Pheasant 

Farce—Siufling of ground meat, poultr 
fish, bread, ete. 

Filet—Narrow tender part of boneless 
meat, poultry or fish (latter skinless) 
Foie—Liver. Foie gras—Goose liver. Foie 

de veau—Call’s liver 
Fraise—Surawberry 
Framboise—Raspberry 
Fromage—Cheese 
Fruits de Mer—Mixed seafood 
Galantinc—Chicken and/or ше 
ground, in sausagelike roll, пас» 
2dteau— Сакс. 
ace—Ice cr 


су 


s. some 


ım or sherbet 
Grenouilles—Frogs’ legs 
Huvicots Verts—String beans 
Homard—Lobster 
Huitves—Oysters 
Jumbon—H. 
Jus—Meat drippings with meat stock, 


gravy 
Lait—Milk 

Langouste—Spiny lobster or rock lobster 
Lapin Rabbit 


Légumes—Vegetables 

Loup de Mer—Sea bass 

Macédoine—Medley. of 
tables, often diced 

Madriléne—Vomatodlavored. consommé 

Marrons—Chestnuts. Marrons 
Chestnuts in vanilla syrup 

Méduillon—Round or oval-shaped р 
of meat. poultry or foie gras 

Moules—Mussels 

Mousse—Rich, cold, molded dish coi 
taining cream 

Moutarde—Mustard 

Mouton—Mutton 


fruits or vege 


glacés— 


ce 


Oeufs—kgps. A la coque—Soltboiled. 
Brouillés—Scrambled. — Durs—Hard- 
boiled. Frits—Fried or deep-fried. 


Mollets—Medium-boiled, 
Poached. Sur le plat—shi 
Oie—Goose 
Palourde—Clam 
Pamplemousse—Grapelruit 
Páté—Smooth mixture ol meat. 
or seafood, ground, baked 
Paupiettes—Thin slices of meat, stuffed, 
rolled, braised 
Péche—Peach 
Perdreau—Paruidge 
Persillade—Chopped parsley 
Petite marmite—CGonsomm: 
ware pot, 1 
bles, 
cheese 
Petits fours—Small fancy cakes 


Pochés 
red 


poultry 


in carthen- 
a beef, chicken, veger 
bread croutons wi 


marrow, h 


TAT 
P. 


| | 


p^ 

NV? ow мали A а 
Ари 

ША 


“If their tails are wagging, does it mean they're cross от happy?” 


125 


PLAYBOY 


126 


Рейх pois—Peas 

Pilaf, pilau, pilaw—Rice, onions, often 
with meat, poultry, seafood 

Pipérade—Egg dish with tomatoes, pi- 
mientos, ham 

Plats {roids—Cold buffet or cold summer 
dishes 

Poisson—Fish 

Poitrine—Brisket 

Pomme—Apple 

Pommes de terre—Potataes 


Anna— 


w slices in mold, baked brown. 
Ти four Baked. Duchesse— Mashed 
with egg, mounds, baked. Frites— 


French fried. Lyonnaise—Sliced, tried, 
onions, Macaire—Pulp, baked pota- 
toes, buttered, browned. Minute— 
Thin suips, deep fried. Purée 
Mashed, Sautées—Boiled, sliced, fried 
in butter. Souffi- Raw slices fried 
twice until puffed 

Potage—Soup 

Potan-feu—Meat, poultry and vegeta- 
bles cooked in one pot 

Poularde—Roasting chicken or fat he 


Poulet—Spring chicken 

Profiteroles—Small_ pasty balls; Also 
soup croutons 

Quencile—Dumpling of egg. cream, 


ground meat, poultry or seafood 
Quiche Warm hors d'oeuvre 
tart with chees 
Ris—Swectbread 
Rissole—Meat turnover, fri 
Riz—Rice 
Rognon—Kidney 


custard 
ham or shellfish 


«d or baked 


Roulade—Rolled boned meat usually 
stuffed 

Salmis—Game or poulmy sew from 
previously roasted. birds 

Saucisse, Saucisson—Sausage 
Saumon—Salmon 

Savarin—Rumsoaked ring cake with 


fruit or cream filling 
Sorbet—Sherbet 
Supréme—Breast of chicken 
Tétras—Grouse 
Tortue— Turtle 
Tournedos—Small tenderloin steaks 
Trufjes—Trufles 
Truite—Trout 
Venu—Veal 
Vinaigrette—Salad dressing of oil, vine- 
‚ chopped herbs, seasoning 
Volaille—Chicken 
Vol-awvent—Light разпу case filled 
with meat, poultry or seafood in sauce 


MAJOR SAUCES 


Allemande—White sauce of chicken, 
veal or fish stock and egg yolks 
Aurore—Sauce of white stock, tom 


to 


duce of egg yolks, butter, 
gon, meat extract 

Bere icc or white fish sauce 
of shallots, white wine, parsley 

Bigarade—Brown sauce of orange juice 
and pecl orange liqueur 


Bordelaise—Brown sauce of red 
beef marrow 

Bowguignonne—Brown sauce of 
wine, salt pork, mushrooms, small 
onions 

Colbert —Butter sauce of parsley. lemon 
juice, meat glaze, tarragon 

Demi-deuil—White sauce of chicken 
stock, truffle: 

Diable—Brown sauce of wine, vine 

peppercorns, shallows 

rand. Vencur—Brown sauce of blood 

of game, red wine 

Gribiche—Cold sauce of egg yolks. oil, 
vinegar, mustard, capers, herbs 

Hollandaise—Sauce of egg yolks, lemon 
and butter 


wine, 


red 


Mariniéve—White sauce with mussel 
stock 
Meuniére—Brown buuer sauce with 


lemon juice, parsle: 


Mornay—White sauce of cheese, egg 
yolks 

Mousseline—Hollandaise sauce with 
whipped cream; Also, mold of sea- 
food, poultry, etc, with асат 
poached 

Piquante—Brown sauce with wine vine- 
Ба 


Poivrade—Brown sauce with ved wine, 
crushed. peppercorns 

Poulette—White 

sley, mushro 


sauce of 


egg yolks, 


ms, lemon juice 


Ranigote—Cold sauce of oil, vinegar, 
capers, herbs: Also. white sauce of 
wine, vinegar, shallots, pepper 


Reforme—Brown sauce of truflles, mush- 
rooms, carrots, tongue 


Robert—Brown sauce of vinegar, mus 
ard, wine, onions 

Talleyrand—White sauce of chicken 
stock, cream, madeira, truffies, tongue 

Tartare—Cold sauce with mayonnaise, 
chopped pickles, chives: Also, an un- 


cooked chopped beefsteak with raw 
cag yolk, capers, seasonings 

Veloute—White sauce of chick 
or fish stock 

Veronique—White sauce of fish stock, 
white grapes, white wine 


veal 


METHODS OF PREPARATION 


Alsacienne—With braised cabbage ог 
sauerkraut 
Américaine—With U 


mato sauce, fish 
stock, brandy, white wine, shallots 
Anglaise—Dipped in egg and bread 
crumbs before frying 
Au blen—Stewed in w Y and 


water 

Bonne femme—With mushrooms, white 
sauce 

Bretonne—With beans 

Cardinal—With diced shrimp. lobster, 
mushrooms, sometimes au gratin 

Chantilly—With whipped cream 

Сразент- Мив 
white wine 

Chiffonnade—With thin strips of let- 
tuce, sorrel, etc, in soups, salads 


mushrooms, shallots, 


Crécy—With carrots 

Dubarry—With white sauce, cheese 

Duxelles—With chopped | mushrooms, 
shallots, and sometimes ham 

Fines herbes. aux—With chopped pars 
ley. chervil, tarragon, chives, etc. 

Florentine With spinach 


Frangaise—With shredded lettuce and 
1 onions 

Impéraviice—With glazed fruit and 

Kirsch 

Halienne-—With finely diced mush 


rooms: or pasta with cheese and butter 

Tvoire—With chicken dumplings, mush- 
rooms, white sauce, chicken stock 

Javdiniéve With glazed. carrots, turnips, 
peas or beans 

Jubilée—Flamed with brandy or liqueurs 

Milanaise—With tomatoes, tongue, ha 
mushrooms 

Mirabeau—With anchovies, oli 
ragon 

Mode—Beef, marinated 
roasted, often cold in jellied gravy 

Montmorency—With cherri 


ves, tar- 


Nantua—With white sauce, crayfish, 
butter, brandy 
içoise—With tomatoes and garlic, some- 


time with olives, anchov 
Normande—With oysters, 
shrimps, crayfish, mushrooms 
Papillote, en—Meat or fish b 
heart-shaped paper casing 
Parisienne—With artichokes, pan gravy. 
white wine; potatoes cut into small 
balls 
Parmentière—With potatoes 
Paysanne—With carrots, turnips, oni 
celer 1 potatoe 
Périgourdine—With wufles and foie gras 
Polonaise—With chopped egg, parsley, 
bread crumbs 
Printaničre—W! 
beans 
Provencale—With tomatoes, дай 
ten with onion, parsley, white wine 
Reine—With chicken or chicken sauce 
Rémoulade—Mayonnaise with gherkins, 
. herbs 
stulfed 
potatoes 
Royale—With unsweetened custard 
Timbale—Cooked in — cylinder-shaped 
mold (with or without crust) of meat, 
poultry, seafood or vegetables 


s 


mussels, 


ed ii 


ns, 


В carrots, turnip 


capers, onion 
Richelicu—With 
braised lettuce, 


tomatocs, 


Valenciennes—With vice, pan gravy, 
white wine 
Vert-pré—With julienne potatoes, wa 


teraess, parsley butter 
Vichy—Cooked 
possible, usually wi 


h as little water as 


h carrots 


"Whene'er 1 hear French spoken as I 
approve,” penned the poet Owen Mere: 
dith, “I feel myself quietly falling i 
love.” Speak the preced 
to Gallic menuese as you approve 
sumptuous French bill of fare will be- 
come an Open sesame! to fine fare round 


ihe globe. 


The Good Guys are al 
| rapa i 


White Horse Scotch delivers the goods. Good taste. 
Good and smooth. Good on the rocks. Good in the tall 
ones. It's the Scotch that carries you lightly. Good guys 
on both sides of the bar take to it right away. 


ER LEGALLY PERMISSIBLE) SEND $3 
YOL/ALENDED SCOTCH WHISINY Ве PROOF — BROUNE VINTNERS СО, 


- 
| 


PLAYBOY 


128 


CO WINE (continued from page 68) 


“There is still The Queen of Spades.” 
aid the unkempt man, mischievously. 
Perhaps you will undertake that one 
yourself? 

“Thank you, no,” snapped the other 
(rather irritably, I thought). “I leave that 


“I may just do it,” was the smiling re- 
“unless Chaikovsky is too quick for 
[He was: Tchaikovsky's setting of 
Queen of Spades” ог “Pique- 
Dame” was presented in 1890. And, lat- 
er, Rimsky-Korsakov drew upon Pushkin 
for his operas “Le Coq d'Or" and “Mo- 
zart and Salieri”; and Rachmaninoff also 
tumed to Pushkin for his “Aleko.”] Elab- 
orately excusing himself, the wild-haired 
man left us and began chatting with 
another group. 

“Talented,” my young friend said па 
appraisal of him after he left, “bur he 
lacks technique. His scores are crude, 
grotesque, his instrumentation a dis- 
grace. ОГ course, he isn’t well. An epilep- 
tic. And, as you may have noted, he 
drinks heavily. Still, somehow, he goes 
on writing music. There is a tavern in 


ns of newspapers, 
feverishly, almost as ii" He broke 
off. 
“As if possessed?” 1 said. 
“A somewhat lurid allusion, don't you 
think? No, I was about to say, ‘almost 
if his life depended on it—as I suppose 


it docs, for his interest in music is proba- 
bly the only thing keeping him alive. To 


look at him now, Lord Henry, would 
you сусг guess he was once ап impcc- 
cably groomed С officer, of re- 


fined breeding, a wit, a ladies 
He shook his head dolorously. 
Mussorgsky,” he sighed. 
Looking slowly about the salon, he 
then said, “The koochka is not what it 
was, sir. Do you see that pathetic 
creature sitting in the corner?" The gen- 
tleman indicated was indeed pathetic, a 
wraith who looked with glazed eye upon 
all who passed before him, responding 
feebly and mechanically to greetings, 
like an old man (although he was not 
old), then sinking back into motionless 
thy. "That is, or was, the koochka's 
vital force, its spine. its heart, its tingling 
blood. It was in his apartment. we were 
wont to meet, he who held the group го- 
gether, h ly gripped the 
reins, his whi (ded us to fren 
zied сот. nore steeped i 
the classical scores, no memory was so 
vast as his. Now look at him. A coffin. 
His mind blighted by a mysterious 
malady. There he sits. His Tamara 
languishes unfinished. Music has ceased 
10 interest him, he who breathed exotic 
harmonies every minute of the da 
We had been walking toward this pitiful 
wreckage, and now my guide leaned close 
and spoke to him: “Mily Alckscycvich! 
How is it with you?” The man looked 
up and blinked vapidl quite 


“Judith tells me you write. Г read.” 


obvious he did not recognize the speaker. 
“It is 1, Vassily Ivanovich,” he was forced 
to add. 

"Vas .. . sily .. . Van... ovich 
A small, crooked smile of recogn 
twisted the poor n 
although the сус did not К 

'Allow present. an 
guest from England, Lord He 
ton. Lord Henry, Mily 

The wretched fellow 
limp, dead hand, which 1 bri 
and then we left him, staring nly 
into empty air again. my Virgil 
murmured; “and the final offense is that 
poor Mily, who once was the most vocil- 
crous of scoffers, now mumbles prayers 
and bends his knee to icons." 

"I hope you are not an unbeliever,” I 

lightly. 
1 believe," he said a reply that 
would have satisfied me, had it not been 
s dark color, which seemed to imply 
ings beyond the simple word: 
Surely, 1 him, "such ruin: 
of body or mind is not typical of your 
group?" 

Mussorgsky and Balakirev аге possi- 
bly extreme examples," he agreed. "But 
there, at the table, stuffing himself with 
zakuski," he said, indicating а man in the 
uniform of a licutenant gencral of en- 
is Cui, who suffers Пот the 
worst disease of all: poverty of talent 
And Rimsky, whose soul is corroded by 
his envy of Chaikovsky 

The music of Chaikovsky's Yevgeny 
Onyégin still rang in my memory and I 
was therefore reminded of the poet on 
whose work the opera was founde 
You spoke of Pushkin some moments 
ago," I said. "I have been told he was a 
extraordinary poet. Why do you hold 


пу face Гог а mom 
llc. 
honored. 


me to 


offered 


me a 
Пу shook: 


neers, 


him in low esteem?’ 

“I do nor," he replied. “Pushkin was a 
genius. But suppose your English musi- 
Gans persisted in setting only the plays 
espeare, ignoring to- 


and verses of Sha 
5 English writer: 
on with the past is stagnating most of 
Russian culture, and the music itself is as 
dated as its subject matter. Even. Mus- 
sorgsky, whose crudenes is sometimes 
redeemed by flashes of daring, is being 
obtunded and made ‘inoffensive’ by 
Rimsky—a pedant who gets sick to the 
h at the sound of a consecutive 


This preoccupa- 


Does it strike you. Bobbie, that this 
chap was annoyingly critical of his illus- 
trious colleagues? Ji so struck me, a 
ile lat ning I had an oppor 
n— but at this pre- 
we 


Ча 


in the су 


y 10 challenge hi 
ent in 
joined by our host. 

My 1 "offense" regarding the 
mu ikovsky was now, happily, 
forgotten, and Rimsky’s eyes were warm 
Dehind the blue lenses. “Ah, Lord Hen- 


mor our conversation, 


y,” he said, “I see you have met our 
young firebrand. Has he been telling you 
what old fogies we are, the slaves of tra- 
dition, and so on? Dear boy, for shame 
Our English visitor will carry away a 
bad impression of us." 


“his views are 
refreshing 
“He is our кайн 
with a diplomatic smile. "But we must 
all suspend our. conversations—refresh- 
ing though they may be—and turn our 
attenuon to some music a few of our 
friends have consented to play for us.” 

We all found chairs, and а feast of 
sound wa 
accompaniment for а song sung by a 
basso they called Fyodr [Not Chaliapin, 
of course, who was only six years old at 
the time; but possibly Fyodr Stravinsky, 
the singer-father of Igor]: alter which a 
chemist named Borodin played pungent 
excerpts from an uncompleted opera 
en at it for fifteen years,” whis- 
y young companion. "Keep: 
terrupting it to work on symplic 
chaotic man, disorganized. Bastard son 
of a prince"). Next, Rimsky-Korsakov 
himself. pla I found 
charming, but which my self-appointed 
commentator. deprecated as "convention- 
al, unadventurous." 

1 had, by this time, had a surfeit of his 
vicious carping. Taking a ge of a 
lull in the musical offerings, I now 
turned to him and, with as much courte- 
sy as I could summon and in a voice dis: 
tinct enough to be heard by all, d, 
"Surely a man of such austere judgment 
will condescend to provide an example 
of his ideal? Will you not take your place 
at the keyboard, sir, so that others may 
play at critic?" 

He proffered me a strange look and an 
ambiguous smile. A profound hush fell 
upon the room. Our host cleared his 
throat nervously sank as I 
realized that son way quite 
unknown to me, I had committed anoth- 
er and possibly more enormous faux pas! 

But I see the to tint 
the sky, and I have nor yet been to bed 
I will dispaich these pages to you at 
once, Bobbie, and resume my little 
chronicle at the very next opportunity. 

Your peripatetic friend, 
Harry 


Rimsky said, 


served. Mussorgsky provided 


ed a lyrical p 


My dear Bobbie 

I left off, ИГ remember rightl 
moment in Rimsky-Korsakov's 
when 1 committed some 
gauche blunder пи 


by 


that a rather unpl. 
who had b 


man, 
lof 
his colleagues, play something of his 
own composition for the assembled 

(continued on page 131) 


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PLAYBOY 


COREK XINE (continued from page 129) 


guests. The embarrassed silence that fell 
upon the room thoroughly discomfited 
me. What had 1 said? In what way was 
my suggestion awkward or indelicate? 
Was the young man bitterly hated by 
our famous host? Unlikely, for he was a 
guest. Did the poor fellow haye no 
hands? Not so; for, even now, he held 
wineglass and biscuit in long. slender 
fingers. I was bemused; I may have 
blushed. Only a moment passed, but it 
seemed an hour. Finall te young 
man, still wearing the smirk with which 
he had greeted my challenge, replied. 
"Thank you, Lord Henry. Г shall play 
something of my own, if our host 
gives me leave?" He cocked an eyebrow 
toward Rimsky. 

Recovering his aplomb, Rimsky said 
hurriedly, "My dear fellow, of course. 
The keyboard is yours.” And so, raking 
the rooms occupants with an arrogant 
look, the young man swaggered to the 
piano and was seated. 


He studied the keyboard for а mo- 
ment, then looked up at us. "I am in the 
midst of composing an opera,” he said. 


is source, you may be surprised to 
learn, is not a poem by the indispensable 
Pushkin or an old Slavonic tale. It is a 
modern novel, a book still in the writing, 
a work of revolutionary brilliance. It rips 
the mask of pretense and hypocrisy from 
our г societ nd will cause an 
is published. I was priv 
ianuscri pt—the author 
led 
he 


decade 
uproar when 
leged to sec it in m 
resides here in St. Petersburg. It is 
The Brothers Karamazov. And this, 
concluded, flexing his spidery fingers, 
the prelude to the first act of my оре 
ting." 
His hands fell upon the keys 
a dissonant chord impaled our cars. 
Rimsky-Korsakov winced. Mussorgsky's 
bleared eyes went suddenly wide. Boro- 
din's jaws, with a caviar savory half m 
ticated, stopped chewing. The chord 
hung in the air, its life prolonged by the 
pedal, then, as the long fingers moved 
among the keys, the dissonance was 
solved, am arresting modulation took 
place, а theme of great power was stated 
п octaves, and then that theme was 
developed, with а wealth of architec- 
ingenuity. The theme took wing. 
climbed, soared, was burnished with rich 
took on a glittering texture, yet 
not effete but with an underlying 
firmness and strength. The koochka and 
ed, myself 


sf 


the other guests were tra 
mong them v alone seemed 
unthrilled. Cascades of bracing sound 
poured from the piano. When the prel- 
ude reached its magnificent. conclusion 
and the last breathtaking chord thun- 
dered into eternity, there was an instant 
of profound silence—followed by a din 
of applause and congratulatory cries. 
The composer immediately en- 


134 gulfed by his colleagues, who shook his 


hand, slapped his shoulders, plied him 
with questions about the opera. If 1 were 
pressed to find one word to best describe 
the general feeling exuded by these men, 
the word would be surprise, 1t was plain 
to me that they were stunned not only 
by the vigor and beauty of the mus 
but by its source, the young gadfly 
wondered why. 

My unvoiced question must have been 
written on my face, for at that moment 
Rimsky-Korsakov drew me aside and 
said, “You appear to be puzzled, Lord 
Henry. Permit me to enlighten you—al- 
though, 1 confess, I am extremely puz 
Леа myself, The fact is, you sec, that 
this is the very first time young Cholo 
denko has shown even the dimmest 
glimmer of musical tale 

"What? But that pı 

“Astonishing, 1 agree, Da 
ng, soundly consuucted. A 1 
ue too dissonant for my taste, perhaps, 
but I have no hesitation in calling it a 
work of genius 

"Then how . . ." Incredulous, more 
ever, I stammered out my 
D „а man docs not 
become a genius overnight! His gilts 
must ripen and grow, his masterworks 
must be foreshadowed by smaller but 
promising efforts . . ." 

Rimsky nodded спу. That is why 
we are all so surprised. That is why 1 am 
so puzzled. And that, you see, is why we 
were so uncomfortable when you 
Cholodenko to play 
tempts have been painfully inept, devoid 
of any creative spark, colorless, deri 
ive, drab. And his piano playing! The 
awkward thumpings of an ape! 

"You exaggerate, surely. 

“Only a litte. The poor boy himself 
was aware of his shortcomings—sh 
fully aware. We tried to be polite, we 
tried to encourage him, we searched for 
compliments to pay him, but he saw 
through us and declined to play at these 
soirees.” 

"Yet he attends them.” 

"Yes although his very presence has 
been a discomfort to himself and the rest 
of us. Music has a kind of insidious at 
traction for him; he is goaded by it as by 
a demon; he behaves almost as И...” 
He searched for words. 

"As df possessed?” I said, 
second time that evening, 

“As if it were food and drink to him. 
And yet, for some time now, he h 


for the 


been 


merely an observ 

“And a ай!” 

A caustic critic He has been an 
embarrassment, an annoyance, but we 
tolerated him, we pitied him . . .” 

“And now, suddenly . . ." 

said Rimsky. “Suddenly.” The 
sowed behind their cool Мис 


panes as he gazed across the room at the 
triumphant Cholodenko. “Suddenly he 


irtuoso and the ercator of a 
There is a mystery here, 


masterpiece. 
Lord Henry.” 
And, at that, 1 burst out Iaughi 


Rimsky said. “You are amused? 
“Amused and appreciative,” 1 replied. 
“It is a very good joke—you have my 
admiration, sir- 


you had me completely gulled. 
absolutely inspired hoax!” 

Rimskys brow now creased 
Olympian frown. 
with hoaxes,” he said with digni 
walked stiffly away 

Determined not to be daunted by this, 
I pushed my way through to Cholodenko 

nd shook his hand. "I am only а pro- 
пе listener.” E said, "and have no real 
knowledge of music, but my congratula- 
lions are sincere. 

"Thank you, Lord Henry. You arc 
most kind." His demeanor had under- 
gone a subtle change: Victory and. praise 
had softened the prickly edges of his 
How wrong, Bobbie, is the 

xiom of our mutual [riend, Acton [Ob- 
viously, John Emerich Edward Dalberg- 
Acton hth Baronet and First Baron, 
1834-1902], "Power corrupts,” he saysi 

‘absolute power corrupts absolutely. 

This is bosh, and I've often told him so: 
It would be much truer to say “Lack of 
power corrupis; absolute lack of power 
corrupts absolutely." 
The soiree was nearing its end. As the 
guests began to leave, my curiosity im- 
pelled me to seek out. Cholodenko 1 
«company him into the street. 

The cold hit mc like a cannon ball 
Nevertheless, I strolled ас Cholodenk 
side. along the banks of the frozen Neva 
(the embankments, of h gray and 
pink marble, were iridescent under the 
moon). Both of us were buried in enor 
mous greatcoats of fur, but I was still 
cold. 

“Be patient but a few more days," said 
my companion. y 
split open the land. Our Russian spring is 
sudden, like a beautiful explosion. 

“I shall try to live that long," I said, 


an 
I do not waste time 


у, and 


shivering. 

"You need a fire and some wine.” he 
laughed. “Come—my apartment is only 
a few more steps . . . 

I was eager to learn more about this 


man, although custom urged me to make 

a token demur: "No, mo, it is late—l 

should. be returning to my quarters; 
“Please,” he said. “I 

from this evenings triumph—I should 

not like to celebrate it alone: 

m a stranger. Surely your 


iolodenko snarled bitterly, “Those 
vultures? They condescended to me when 
they felt me their inferior; soon they 
will hate me for being their superior. 
Here is my door—I entreat you—— 

My face felt brittle as glass from the 
cold. With chattering teeth, I replied. 


The Pacer costs about 
9 beers,maybe 10. 


Figure at 50¢ a beer, that's 
a fin. 

Of course, if you drink at 
one of those a-buck-for-a-bot- 
tle-of-beer joints, it's a few 
brews less. 

Either way, it's really not 
that much to give up. 


Now we're not saying The 
Pacer is going to do anything 
for your throat, but they'll 
make your feet a lot happier. 

Most guys buy them to knock 
round in. They look nice, like 
the old penny loafer. But 
they're a lot more comfortable. 

The Pacer's heels and soles 
are made of soft springy Air- 
Flite™ cushions to take the 
jars and jolts out of walking. 

(And for the guys who can't. 
restrain themselves, there's 13 
other Jiffies styles and colors.) 

But, here's our plan. 

One night this week, don’t 
go down to the corner “for a 
few.” Stick around the house. 
Keep the five bucks in your 
wallet. 

Next day, buy a pair of 
Pacers. 

That way, we won't have to 
cry in our beer, and the next 
time you stop off at the corner 
your feet will feel a lot better 
on the bar rail. 


The Pacer by 


'TEFIE 


PLAYBOY 


136 


“It's easy enough getting in to see him—it's the 
getting out that’s difficult!” 


“Very well, for a little while." We went 


His apartment was small. Dominating 
it was a grand piano of concert size 
Scores and manuscript paper were piled 
everywhere. Cholodenko built a fire. 
And now," he said, producing a dust- 
filmed bottle, "we will warm ourselves 
with comet wine. 

His strong thumbs deftly pushed out 
the cork and the frothing clixir spewed 
out into the goblets in a curving scintil 
lant jet, a white arc that brought to 
mind. indeed, a come 
Comet wine?” I repeated. 

He nodded. “A famed and heady vin- 
tage from the year of the comet, 1811. 
This is a very rare bottle, one of the last 
the world. Your health, Lord He 
We d 
have ever tasted—al 
but somehow spicy, richer: dry, 
with a honeyed aftertaste. I drained the 
goblet and he poured ag; 

“A potent poration, 
smile. 

“It makes the mind lum 
averred. 

I said, "That heavenly wanderer, for 
which it is named, imbued it with astral 
powers, perhaps?” 

"Perhaps. Dr 


I said with a 


ous,” he 


- And then I will 


tell you a little story, а flight of fancy of 
и 


which I would value your opinion 
you find it strange, so much the реце 
For, surely, onc must not tell mundane 
stories between draughts of comet wine?” 

ОГ that story, and of its effect on me, 1 


will write soon. 


Your friend, 


Hany 


12 April 


ied look of my hand 
І scribble this missive on the 
t carries me from St. Petersburg, 
and the jiggling motion of the conve 
nce is to blame. Yes, I take my leave of 
this vast country, will spend some time 
in Budapest, d will return to London 
in time to celebrate your birthday. 
Meanwhile, Г have a narrative to con- 
clude—if this confounded tain will let 
me! 

‘The scene, you may recall, was (he St. 
Petersburg apartment of Vassily Ivano- 
vi Cholodenko, The characters, that 
enigmatic young man and your faithful 
correspondent. My head was light and 
bright with comet wine, my perceptions 
sharpened, as my host lifted a thi 
of music manuscript from the piano and 
weighed it in his hands. “The score of 
The Brothers Karamazov,” he said. "It 
needs but the final When it is 
finished, Lord Henry, all the impresarios 
in the country, in the world, will beg me 
for the privilege of presenting it on their 
stages: 

"I can well believe it,” I rejoined. 

“After that, other operas, symphonies, 


concerti . . ." His voice glowed with en- 
имам. “There is a book that created 
scandal when it was published three 
years ago—Anna Karenyina—what an 
opera I will make of it! 

“Му dear Vassily,” Г said, only half 
in jest, “I see a receptacle for discarded 
paper there in the corner, May I not 
take away with me one of those aban- 
«опей scraps? In а few short years, ап 
authentic Cholodenko holograph may 
be priccle: 

He laughed. "I can do better than 
wastepaper,” he said, handing me a dou- 
ble sheet of music manuscript from a 
stack on the piano. It was sprinkled v 
black showers of notes in his bold call 
raphy. "This is Alyosha's aria from the 
second act of Karamazov. I have since 
transposed it to a more singable key— 
this is the old copy—I have no further 
use of it.” 

I thanked him, then said, “This story 
you wish to tell . .. what is it?" 

"No morc than a notion, 
something I may one day Газ 
uo—it would 1 
. I would like 
of letters, a poet 

“A vary minor poet, I fe: 
gladly listen.” 

He poured more wine, s; 
mind a Faustian theme. The Faust, in 
this case, would possibly be a painter. 
But it would be patently clear to the 
dience from the opening moments of the 
взе act—for his canvases would be 

bly deployed he 
is a painter without gift, a maker of 
wretched daubs. In a poignant aria— 
baritone, 1 think—he pours out his mis- 
ery and his yearnings. He а to 
greatness. but a cruel Deity let 
him be born bereft of greatness. He 
rails, curses God. the aria ends in a 
crashing blasphemy. Effective, yes?" 

“Please go on," I said, my curiosity 


libi 
I thi 
m 


your thoughts, 


, but I will 


quickened. 
“Enter Lucifer. And here I would 
smash tradition and make him not the 


usual booming basso but a lyric tenor 
with a seductive voice of refined gold— 
the Fallen Angel, you 
figure. A barg 
grant the painter the gilt of 
genius—for seven years, let us say, ог 
five, or ten ad then will claim both his 
body and his immortal soul. The painter 
agrees, the curtain falls, and when it 
rises on the next scene. we are immedi- 
rely of a startling transformation 
—the canvases in the painter's studio are 
stunning, masterful! A theatrical stroke, 
don't you agree 

1 nodded, and drank avidly from 
my goblet, for my throat was unaccount- 
ably dry. I felt somewhat dizzy 
only the heady wine?—and my В 
was beating faster. “Most theatrical, 
replied. “What follows: 

Cholodenko sighed. “That is my di- 
lemma, I do not know what follows. I had. 


hoped you could offer something . . .” 

My brain was ctowded with ques- 
tions, fears, wild conjectures. I told my 
self that a composer was merely secking 
my aid in devising an opera libretto— 
nothing more. Е said, “It is a fascinating 
premise, but of course it cannot end 
there. It needs complication, develop- 
ment, reversal. Possibly. a young lady? 
-.. No, that’s banal . 

Suddenly, a face was 
remembrance of it, and the new implica- 
tions it now carried, I found disturbing. 
The eyes in this face were dead, as blank 
as the brain behind them; the smile was 
vacuous and vapid: It was the face of 
ng corpse, В: v. My thoughts 
were racing, my head swam. I set down 
my goblet with a hand that, I now saw. 


voice reached 
‘Are you well, 


“You are so very pale! As if you had 
seen i 

I looked up at him. I peered deep into 
the cycs of this man. They were not dead, 
those eyes! They were dark, yes, the dari 
est eyes E have ever seen, and deepset in 
the gaunt face, but they were alive. they 
burned with fanatic бге. At length, I 
found my voice. “I am quite all right. A 
drop too much, I fear. . . 

s unpredictable, Are 


you sure 
Yes, yes. Don't concern yourself.” T 
aled deeply, "Now then, this opera 
story of yours...” 

You must not feel obligated to——" 

“Suppose,” I said guardedly, “that you 
invent another character. A fellow painter 
—but a man immensely gifted and ac- 
claimed. You introduce him in Act One. 
prior to the appearance of Lucifer . 
Yes?" said Cholodenko quickl 
As the opera progresses, we watch an 
uncanny transferal . . . we sce the gifts 
of this great painter dim, ‘ct pro- 
portion to the rate with which your 
Faustian painter is infused with talent, 
until the great artist is an empty shell 
and his opposite number is a man of 
refulgent geniu: 

Cholod 
Devil robs Peter to p 


ko smiled sardonically. “The 
ay Paul, is that it? 
Whar do you 


“That is precisely it 


nk of the id 
It is arousing,” he said, his dark eyes 
watching my face intently. "It is very 
dever." Then, waxing casual again, he 
asked, “But is it enough? 

Хо, of course not,” I said, rising and 
pacing. His eyes followed me, flickering 
from left to right and back again. “There 
must be the obligatory finale, whercin 
Lucifer returns after the stipulated t 
d drags the condemned painter to 
fiery perdition. Quite a scene, that! 
Think what you could make of it." 

“It's trite,” he snapped. "The weary 


th 


137 


PLAYBOY 


138 


bourgeois idea of retribution. I detest 

I stared at him, mouth agape. 
dear boy, you needn't bite my 1 
It's merely an opera . 

He mumbled, “I 
scene has been done 
Gounod, Dargomizhsky . . ~ 

I shrugged. “Then we will change it. 

Yes. ves,” he said, almost desperately. 
“We must... change it.” 

“What would you suggest? That your 
Faust be spared 

“Wh у he not 
be punished because he wish 
the world great an . 


My 


be spared? Must he 
d to bring 


"No," I said slowly, “not for that. 

“Then for what? Why must he be 
damned for ай eternity? Why, Lord 
Henry?" 

We were facing cach other across the 
piano. He was leaning forward, his 


hands gripping the insuuument’s lid, his 
nails digging into the very wood. Whe 
Т answered him, my voice was even and 
low: 

“Because,” 1 said, “ol the man who 
drained of his God-given genius to 
y the cravings of your Faust. The 
1 who was sucked dry and thrown 
aside. For that, someone must pay. For 
that. your Faust must burn in Hell: 

Хо! 

The syllable was torn from his depths. 
Tr rang in the room. “Why must he burn 
for that? He had no way of knowing 
whence that talent came! Even И, later, 
he began to suspect the truth, if he saw 
the great master wane as his own star 
ascended, there was nothing he could 
do, no way he could stop it, the pact had 
been sealed! The Fiend had tricked him 
Comprehend. if you ст, the horror he 


would Гей, the вий, the shame, as he 
watched that blazing talent become cold 
hes, sacrificed оп the altar of own 
mbition! He would h: and disgust 
himself, he would loathe himself far 
more than onc would lcathe а vampire— 
ns only the blood of 
ashe...” 

voice stopped, throttled 


shadow of a 


ugh. "But what a very 
good story this must be, indeed, to sting 
us to stich passion. I fear we are taking it 
too seriously.” 
“Are we?” 

‘OL course we 
your glass...” 

“I have had enough, uh 
haps we both have.” 

"You may be right. Tt has made us ir- 

table. I'm sorry 1 burdened vou with 
my problems. 

Nor at all. It is stimulati 
rate with a fellow artist 
very late, and I must go. 

I reached for my greatcoat, bur he 
gripped my arm. “No, please, Lord Не 
ту. Stay. 1 beseech you. Do not leave me 
here . . . alone.” 

I smiled courteously x 
cated my arm from his grasp. 1 put c 
со the door. 1 turned and 
spoke. 7 I scene; 1 said. ^Y 
wish something different from the usual 
plunge to Hell. Here is something th 
might prove piquant, and is cert 
the: 


are! Come, hand me 


you. Per- 


Е to collabo- 
But it is really 


2. And behind every man who's a 


failure d 


there's a woman, too!” 


The Pit, but the opera does not end, not 
quite. There is a little epilog. In it, those 
lusrous paintings fade before the au- 
dience's eyes and become empr 


vases—I suppose that might be done 
chemically, or by a trick of lighting? And 


the poor chap whose gifts were stolen is 
restored to his former glory. As for your 
Faust—it if he never lived; ev 
the memory of him is swallowed in Ней. 
How does that strike vou? 

I do not know if he heard mc. He was. 
staring into the fir ited for a reply, 
but he said nothing and did not look at 
me. After a moment, I left. 

Please pass on to Maude the enclosure 
you will find herein. It is the piece of 
music Cholodenko gave me—Alyosh 
ria from Karamazov. 
sure it is beautiful) 
the envy of London: the first of y 
cle to be granted a foretasie of a bold 
new opera that п to be greeted 
as а masterpicce. 


lw 


5 


Your friend 
Harry 


t of his 


on's 


ассо 


letter 


teresting 
enough to possibly justify future publica- 
tion, but all the material bearing upon 
what 1 may call The Great Cholodenko 
Mystery is contained in the three letters 
you have just read. To them, 1 can add 
nothing about Cholodenko, although Т 
can supply some peripheral data av 
ble to any researcher willing to spend a 
linde time digging into the history of 
Russian music: 

In the years following Lord Henry's 
visit to Russia, Mily Balakirev enjoyed a 
miraculous recovery. He returned to his 
abandoned Tamaya. completed it, and 
1882 saw it produced to acclaim so 
tremendous that it secured for him. in 
the following year, a coveted appoin 
ment as Director of the Court. Chapel. 
He again became am active host. filling 
his home with musicians and others ea- 
ger for his friendship and guidance. He 
composed his second nd 
worked on a р He con- 
ducted. He organized festivals in homage 
to Chopin and Glinka. He personally 
prepared a new edition of Glinka's works. 
He energetically composed and edited 
music even into his retirement years, 
outlived the me 
koochka (with the single exception of 
ying 

А final curiosity: A yellowing sheet of 
music paper, presumably the one Lord 
Henry mentioned, the page he said con- 
tained Alvosha's aria from The Brothers 
Karamazov in Cholodenko's own hand, 
actually is folded into his April 12th Jet- 
rebut, except for the primers mark 
and the orderly rows of staves, it is blank, 


symphony 


10 concerto. 


other abers of 


n 1910 at the age of 73. 


that Paul?” Mis. McElroy 
whispered. 
“Sut 
Followi 
refreshments 


of the headmaster's house. Mr 


Mr. McElroy whispered back 
com 
were served in 


exer 
the 


acncement 


що the 


iscs. 


arde: 


and. Mrs. McElroy introduced themselves 
to the headmaster, Mr. Cudlipp. who 
complimented Mis. McElroy for having a 


son whose outstanding moral qualities 
more than compensated for his C-plus 
average. "We expect great things of 
Paul" Mr. Cudlipp said. The McElroys 
thanked him and moved on. Mrs. Mc 
Elroy accepted a glass of fruit punch from 
а small student but refused а cupcake. 
They could. see P 
chatting with hi 

cian. After а while nade his way 
le, pulling beh 
in a white graduation 


over to thc id him a 
hig. 
gown. 

Glad you coukl make it," Paul said, 
using his free hand to grind one of N 
McElroys. ^I want you to meet Vir 
he added. Virginia was an unusuz 
big girl with skin blemishes and a 
smile, Beads of perspiration glistencd on 
her upper lip and in the deep wough of 
her bosom, and fat tears brimmed in her 
су Another girl ran up and threw her 
around Virg ig them 


arms а, cau 


(continued from page 103) 


both to weep aloud. Paul drew the Mc 
Elroys aside, "Look." he said, “Гуе in 
vited Virginia to come and stay with us 
Tor a few d 5 got problem at 
home and. well, to be [rank about it, she 
needs me. You don't mind. I 


sort of 
hope?" 
Why. по, not 
said. "Do you mind, Phil?” 
Fine with me.” Mr. McElroy said 
ч! t," said Paul. 


at all.” Mrs. McElroy 


com 
day following I inia's grad 
ion. It was a swinging party all the 
ne. By the time Paul 
back from seeing The Sound of Music, 
the Rolling Stones were going full blast 
on the record. player and people were 
frugging all over the place. Paul and 
sat down at one end of a long 
sola and discussed. The Sound of Music 
Mis. McElroy tried o 
lance, bur Paul said he thought that 
kind of dancin; ише. Virgin 
giggled and caught. Mrs, McElroy's eye. 
Mis. McElroy decided she liked Virg 
ter all. Pretty soon Paul went to bed. 
Virginia stayed up until ай hours and 
danced the jerk and the swim with a 
a that was quite surprising for 
ic her size. At about a quarter to 


t them to 


"10 


was inl 


stä 


one, Mrs. McElroy got the hiccups. She 
went to the kitchen for a glass of water 
wing voices in the maid's room 
peeked in and saw Mr. 
i ing on the bed 
left hand 
ls palms," Mr. McElroy ex 
plained when he heard his wife hiccup 
ing behind him. "She says my Ше is 
going to undergo a chai Mrs. Me 
Elroy went back to the living room with 
the glass of water. As the party was 
breaking up, one of the guests discov 
ered that she had lost her gold dip. The 
McElroys promised to look for it in the 
mornin 
The i 
the cleaning wom, 
the sofas and turned 
They found $1.65 
lighter, two high! 
handkerchi 


Mrs. McElroy and 
п looked under alt 
рай the cushions. 
ch Zippo 
I glasses, a key, a 
Гоа ballpoint pen. 
nine shrimp and a nail file, but no gold 
clip. Later in the though, wher 
Mrs. McElroy happened to pass through 
Virginia's room. she glanced into the 
ly open top drawer of the dreser 
and saw a gold clip sitting on a pile o 
ge bras. Right next to it was the 
sapphire pin that Mrs. McElroy had 
bought at Tiftany’'s in February, as her 
anniversary present from. Mi. McElroy 
She mentioned this to her husband 
when he came home from the office that 


ady's 


ik” MAURICE 
ден JARRE 


1E/S1E-8 ST 


Racing excitement sets a 
new sound track record! 


The roaring engines. 

The screaming crowds. 

The super-charged 

excitement of the world's 

greatest racing spectacle. 

This is the setting for a great 

new motion picture, with a driving 
musical score by Maurice Jarre, 
Academy Award-winning composer 
of DOCTOR ZHIVAGO. 


MGM Records is a division of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Inc. 


The original sound track of GRAND PRIX. 
Deluxe double-fold album. Stories about the picture 
and the race. Photos of the stars and the cars. 


© 


MGM 
RECORDS 


139 


PLAYBOY 


мо she started to scream. M. 


evening. "Are you sure?" he asked. 
"Of course I'm sure. I checked, and 
mine's gone.” 

“Good Lord.” Mr. McElroy said. 

When Paul and Virginia came back 
from visiting the United Nations, the 
McElroys waited until Virginia had gone 
to her room and then spoke to Paul 
about it. “I'm afraid that is one of her 
symptoms,” Paul said gravely. “АП the 
Kids at school were just great about it, 
but the trouble is, her mother gets so ter- 
rifically upset, and that makes it about а 
hundred percent worse." 

What а shame,” Mrs, McElroy said. 
“Well, but at least now we know where 
the things are, so perhaps you'd better 
suggest that she give them back.” 

"God, don't you people understand 
anything?" Paul said sternly. “That 
would be about the worst thing to do." 


and 1 are worl 
on the whole problem. 

Mr. and Mrs. McElroy agreed to leave 
it to Paul. He did scem to know a lot 
about Virginia's problem, and anyway, 
they had tickets to hear The Supremes 
that evening at Carnegie Hall. Two days 
passed. Paul said he was making good 
progress with Virginia's problem, but 
the gold clip and the sapphire pin re- 
mained in Virginia's top dresser drawe! 
They were joined on the third day by 
Mrs. McElroy’s diamond wrist watch. 
This was too much for Mrs. McElroy. 
She made Mr. McElroy са talk with 
Virginia in her room that evening, be- 
fore Paul returned from leading a boy- 
scout hike. Virginia screamed. When 
Mrs. McElroy looked in to see what was 
wrong, she saw Virginia standing on the 
bed without a suh of clothes oi 
screaming her head off. Mr. McElroy was 
very pale. Luckily, Paul came home just 
then. "Now you've done it," Paul said. 
He sent Mr. and Mrs. McElroy out of 
Virginia's room, but Virginia kept on 
screaming. After a while Paul opened 
the door and called for Mrs. McElroy. 
“We've got to feed her,” he shouted over 
dessert 
ог something. 105 the only way.” Mrs. 
McElroy nodded and went to the kitch- 
en. She found half а chocolate-cream pie 
and a quart of coffee ice cream in the 
icebox. When she returned with these, 
Paul took them from her and closed the 
door. ually Virginia's screams died 
down, and by two a.m. the apartment 
was quiet. 

Things were unsettled after that. Paul 
said the nt had undone all his 
work on Virgi s problem and that he 
would have to fall back temporarily on 
oral gratification. Virginia stayed in her 
room and ate quantities of sweet 
desserts. Whenever she saw Mr. McElroy, 
- McElroy or- 


the screams. "Something sweet— 


dered a big supply of frozen pastries and 
cream pics and ice cream, to keep on 
hand in the freezer, but Virginia got up 
in the middle of the night and finished 
them all off, not even bothering to thaw 
the pastries; so from then on, Mrs. Mc- 
Elroy had to get іп a fresh supply ever 
day. As long as Virginia had something 
sweet in her mouth, she did not scream 
at Mr. McElroy and she did not steal 
things. Mr. McElroy was ай for sending 
Virgi ti, but Paul 


explained that this was out of the ques- 


tion. Virginia kept insisting that Mr. Mc- 
Elroy had tried to rape her, Paul said, 
nd there mo telling what would 
pen if she left the apartment in thi 
state of mind. The McElroys friends all 
thought it was a very kicky scene. Some 
of them started bringing expensive des- 
serts and pastries for Virginia when they 
came 10 parties at the McElroys’ apart- 
ment, and this cheered Virginia up no 
end. Virginia could hardly wait to see 
what the guests were going to bring her 
next. Paul said they were undoing all his 
work. He was very depressed because his 
applications to Harvard, Columbia and 
Dartmouth had all been turned down, 
and he did not want to go to Tults. 

In July Mr. and Mrs. McElroy moved 
out то Southampton for the summer, 
ad Paul went to the Moral Re 
Armament congress оп Mackinac 15 
Michigan. Virginia stayed in the ара 
ment. Mrs. McEhoy had wied very hard 
to persuade her to go home, She 
even tried to telephone Virgin 
er in Cincinnati, Бос Virginia’s mother, 


when she would be back. Anyway, Virgin- 
ia still maintained that Mr. McElroy had 
пісі to rape her and, as Paul pointed 
out, this rather complicated matters. 
Virginia ate steadily all summer. 
When the McElroys returned to the city 
after Labor Day, she weighed close to 
300 pounds and could barely get out of 
bed. Mrs. McElroy said. "Really, Virgin- 
ia, this has got to stop." Virginia gave a 
particularly piercing scream. Mr. Mc 
Elroy ran down to the pastry shop and 
brought back a dozen mocha éclai 
scemed to be the only way. 
Paul came home for two days 


Instead of going to college, he 


ded to join the Peace Corps. He 


was being sent to а training camp in Ari 
zona, after which he hoped to go to an 
xtreme hardship post on the upper 
Amazon. On his last night home, Mrs. 
McElroy put it to him straight, "God- 
damnit," she said, "you brought her 
here, now it’s up to you to get her the 
hell out. 

“It might just possibly surprise you to 


Paul said, "that there are more 
important things in the world for me 
to do than attend to your personal 
problems.” 

“My personal problems! Listen, you 
high-minded fink ——" 

“This sort of discussion is futile,” Paul 
said. "No wonder the world's іп a mess. 
Why don't you people grow up?” Paul 
went upstairs to his room. The McElroys 
went out to a Beatles movie, which thcy 
joyed even more than the last time. 

In time, Mr. and Mis. McElroy grew 
accustomed to having Virginia around. 
Before each party they propped her up 
on one of the long white sofas in the liv- 
ing room, where she could receive the 
sugared offerings of the guests and watch 
the dancing, in which she was by now 
too immense to take part. She looked 
nice on the sofa, in one of the long, tent- 
like muslin garments that she had taken 
to wearing, putting down desserts and 


smiling her wagic smile, Andy Warhol 
made a movie of Virginia sitting on the 
sola a lemon«hiffon pie—he 


used the same closeup shot repeated 

and over for three and a half hours. 
People also discovered Virginia's clair- 
voyance. In addition to her being able 
to read palms, she could sense emana- 
tions from people. Just by sensing the 
emanations, Virginia could tell someone 
what he would be doing several hours 
later and, sure enough, when the time 
came around, he would find himself 
doing it. Once she told Dr. Strauss- 
Huppe, who lived downstairs in the 
same building and came to all the Me 
Elroy parties, that he was going to bed 
with Mrs. McElroy. Mr. Mc 
lot to drink that night and he nev 
find out whether Virginia's prediction 
came true, but he was bothered all the 
same. 

Soon Virginia began to reccive visitors 
even when the McElroys were not hav- 
ing a party. The number of her visitors 
grew larger and larger. They came at all 
hours of the day or night and they al- 
ways brought something delicious for 
Virginia to eat V joyed her 
new life, She seldom scr 1ymore, 
and when she did, it was usually just in 


ox 


smi Mr. and. 
n who had to take care of 
and get he of bed. 
and dressed and undressed, and so forth, 
because they could no longer keep any 
servants in the house, not even а clean- 
ing woman. Mr. and Mrs. McElroy 
found that they were spending all their 
time taking care of Virginia. Some morn- 
gs Mr. McElroy could not even get to 
his office. They hardly ever went out to 
a Beatles movie, or to other people's par- 
ties, or used their jazzy dark-green Jag, 


more a 
Mrs. Mc 


in and ou 


or even listened to the Rolling Stones 
fiıginîa had decided the 


on the radio— 
Rolling Stones were a drag. One night, 
after they had put Virginia to bed, Mr. 
and Mrs. McEhoy sat up for а long 
while talking. “We can't go on like this.” 
Mis. McElroy said. They decided to run 
away that very night, Each of them 
packed a suitcase, and very quietly they 
tiptoed to the front door and rang for 
the elevator. Just as they were getting 
into the clevator with their suitcases, 
Virginia started to scream. Luckily, the 
clevator was self-service. Mr. McElroy 
pushed the pooxcrose button and they 
went down, with Virginia's sc get 


ting fainter and fainter in their cars. 

The doorman fi: 
on Fifth Avenue and they told the driv- 
er to take them to the airport. On the 
way out, they discussed where they 
would go. Mr. McElroy wanted to go to 
Miami, but Mrs. McElroy had her heart 
set on Nassau. They decided to go to МЕ 
ami first and then to Nassau. As luck 
would have it, there was a midnight 
flight to Miami. Mr. McElroy bought the 
tickets, and they were just going down 
the ramp to the plane when the police 
moved in. "Mr. Philip McElroy? 
lieutenant asked. Mr. McElroy nodded. 
“Im afraid you're needed at home. It’s 
your daughter." 

"She's not my—— Oh, God," said Mr. 
McElroy. He considered making a break 
lor it, but decided it was no use. 

They went back to town in the squad 
Somebody in that kinda condi 
the licutenant said reproachfully, 
“you just can't go off and leave ‘em. It's 
lucky that doctor got hold of us.” The 
policen 
them. Dr. Strauss-Huppe from down 
stairs was waiting in the apartment. He 
said he had given Virginia a зе 
and an éclair and that she was sleeping 
quictly, and it did not take the Mcklroys 
more than а moment to realize that she 


рей а taxi for them 


the 


car 


n came up in the elevator. with 


was sleeping quietly in their own bed. 
room. The McElroys thanked the police- 
men and Dr. StraussHuppe and saw 
them to the door 

Mrs. McElroy needed something to 
calm her nerves, She felt sure Dr. 
Strauss-Huppe would have something 
and, to save him another wip upstairs in 
the middle of the night, she decided to 
1un downstairs to his apartment. As Mr 
McElroy stood in the hall wondering 
what to do with himself, he heard a 
noise in his former bedroom. It was his 
former bed groaning as Virginia turned 
over in it. Mr. McElroy tiptoed to the 
bedroom door amd peeped inside. 

“Tomorrow,” Virginia called out 


drowsily, “you're going to hear some real 


screaming.” 


‘Light up a 
taste of 
«adventure 


j 
ЕЯ 
@ 
5 
? 


141 


142 


A 
7 
= 
Е 
E 
0 

» 
a 
т 
г 
o 

4 

im 

т 
> 


UNIO SNA“ зад 
42121 


as 


JOHN BARTH goat-boy’s father 


SEVEN YEARS Aco, John Barth's The Sot Weed Factor, a kind 
of exuberant American Candide, gained a reputation as а 
“special” book, one of the most original novels to come along 
for some time. Giles Goat-Boy, Barth's latest, is ап even more 
improbable comedy—and a great popular success at the same 
time. It is the story of a world divided into East Campus and 
West Campus, both of which possess ultimate weapons in the 
form of giant computers. The hero is George, or Giles, who 
thinks he is a goat. In the course of ten years and four books, 
Barth, now 37 and a professor of English at Butfalo, has risen 
faster in the scale of literary ranking than any other American 
fiction writer. Book Week's poll of 200 prominent critics 
placed him among the 20 best novelists (0 appear since 1045 
and The New York Times recently called him "the best writer 
of fiction we have at present.” Barth likes living in Bulfalo, 
because, as he says, “The lake's polluted. The elms are 
blighted. The weather is gothic. The place is full of the phos- 
phorescence of decay.” He is brilliant in the classroom and he 
enjoys teaching, though he says, “Graduate students and critics 
unner 


e me; they are much more 1 


ed than I and they 
can't believe how much a writer operates by ‘hunch’ and 
feel." One of his constant questions to himself is, "How 
cm I turn literature upon its ear?” As a student, Barth 
worked in the Classics Library at Johns Hopkins, where he 
both Jost and found himself in the stacks. He describes them. 
а "splendrous labyrinth” where he could “intoxicate and 
gorge” himself with story. His favorite among the great 
“spellbinding liars” zade of the Arabian Nights, 
and what he saw in her stories was “dark, rich circumstances. 
mixing the subtle and the coarse, the comic and the grim, 
the realistic and the fantastic, the apocalyptic and the 
hopeful." That could also be a description of his own work. 


Scheher 


e 


JACK HANSON jax for openers 


POSED AFTER HOURS in The Daisy, his privatemembership Bev- 
erly Hills discothèque, among well-modeled examples of 
the dothes with which he has changed the American girlscape, 
Jack Hanson is allowed the hint of self-satistaction in his 
smile. With lite more than a sensible picce of masculine 
psychology ("Ifa girl has a cute fanny, she wants to show it 
off") as principal, the former 
models in tight-fitting dresses and in what he soon was 
calling Jax slacks, in a. Beverly Hills shopwindow in 1952. 
“Nobody was designing clothes for the kind of figure 1 like 
—long legs, tim hips and a small waist," Hanson told 
couldn't understand. why." Teenagers, though, 
nd then celebrities on the order of Audrey Hepburn and 
kie Kennedy understood the Hanson look perfectly, and 
soon the world at large did. too: A major retail league of 
ght Jax stores now stretches across the country for the 
slender fraction of the female population that can afford his 
few junior sizes of dresses, suits and ks. With that 
expansion still in progress, Hanson has built vertically in 
recent years, creating а West Coast glamor ficídom capped 
ts George Hamilton, Jane Fonda and 
п Martin on its Hanson-controlled roster. Martin's wife. 
Jeanne (in white boots), and daughters Claudia and Deana 
(second and third girls from right), Tina Sinatra (with cue) 
and three models surround him here, as the Hollywood 
hicrarchy has surrounded him for a decade, Owner also of the 
Icirculation, quality film mag Cinema, Hanson at 47 is 


bushleague ballplaver put 


PLAYBOY. 


by the club, which 1 


sm: 
soft-spoken, personable and—far fom being in awe of his 
customer-cronies—amused by the seriousness with which they 
sometimes treat him: “The three most important men in 
America,” ex-Jax salesgirl Nancy Sinatra told one writer 
recently, "are Hugh Hefner, my father and Jack Hanson." 


good show 


THE AVENGERS jolly 


IT HAS TAKEN AMERICA six years to discover The Avengers. 
Since 1961, Ше show's Mod mayhem has delighted a sophisti- 
cated British audience with its hip and slightly Гат-ош antics; 
but after importing the cloakand-robber series for am ab- 
breyiaied run last summer, АВС shelved it to unveil its new 
fall schedule. Now, with the anemia of that schedule firmly 
demonstrated, The Avengers has made a deserved return (in 
living color), because it is one of the small handful of con 
sistently inventive, offbeat and thoroughly entertaining pro- 
grams on television. The Avengers themselves are а rather 
insouciant duo who have a quite undefined but binding man 
date to protect the Empire in times of dire peril. They are sly, 
indomitable and eccentric—and the show is done with an au 
dacious flair and flippaney that make the U. N.C. L. E. crowd 
look like a bunch of dull coppers. Patrick Macnee as John 
Steed is a dapper, derbied courtier—veddy British—with no 
visible means of support and a slight propensity for stumbling 
at aucial moments. Вос the star is definitely Diana Rigg. 
who, as the widowed "Mrs. Emma Peel” (her husband was а 
test pilot), exudes more sheer sexuality than American ТУ has 
previously handled. (She has made British viewers all but 
forget the show's first female lead, Honor "Pussy С 

Blackman, who defected to play with the bad guys until James 
Bond straightened her out in Goldfinger.) “Mrs. Peel" is an 
erotic stylization, rather than a character, in pants suits, 
miniskirts and an incredibly kinky wardrobe. Her other 
great attribute is chat she is one of the neatest brawlers any- 
where: She karate-chops villains by the roomful, barely muss 
ing her leather fighting suit. There are по holds barred for 
Miss Rigg or for the show's uproarious style. It's all high-wire 
melodrama, good-humored fetishism and flamboyant self- 


mockery. We hopefully expect it to be with us fora long while. 143 


PLAYBOY 


144 


PLAYBOY FORUM 


today. Life was no picnic for anybody 
during Depression years. But I wish 
some of these selfish jerks would пуа 
litle hell and adversity. It might im- 
prove their characters. 
Helen McKenna, 
Sel Appointed Cha 
Fairplay for the Fetus 


man 


Committee 
San Dicgo, California 


DOCTORS FOR ABORTION 
The following clipping from the San 
Francisco. Chronicle 


should be of great 
interest to your readers. 


More than three fourths of Cali 
fornia's obstetricians favor perform- 
ing therapeutic abortions if there is 
a "material" risk of abnormal birth, 
a statewide poll disclosed last week. 

The poll also showed that 79 
percent of the 748 specialists who an. 


(continued from page 48) 


swered this questionnaire have per- 
formed therapeutic abortions and 
33.6 percent believe there should 
be no abortion law of any kind . . . 

The results showed that while 
the legality of performing the oper- 
ation because of impairment of the 
mother's physicil or mental health 
is questionable, dmit- 
ted to hay 


9 percent 


в done such operations. 
Sixtyfour percent admitted they 
have used risk of significant birth 
defects as а justificar and 10 
percent had allowed forcible rape 
or incest to be justification. 

Only 4 percent admitred to using 
sociocconomic reasons to justify op- 
erations they have performed, al. 
though 21 percent said they feel the 
law should be changed to allow the 
legality of therapeutic abortion Гог 
this reason. 

Eighty-three percent s 


rape or 


incest should be made valid reasons 
and 77 percent said risk of a sig- 
nificant birth defect should be a le- 
gal reason. On risk to the mother’s 
health, 72 percent said abortion 
should be allowed . . . 

A recent survey by the Californi: 
poll showed that 9 percent of the 
public favors abortion unrestricted 
by any laws, 10 percent is undecid- 
ed, 56 percent for liberalization and. 
25 percent for very restricted Laws. 


In the light of such figures, by what 
posible justification can our legislators 
continue to keep our archaic abortion 
laws on the books? If the public wants 
such operations, and doctors are willi 
10 perform them, what right does a legis- 
lator have to say no? 

Jack Laurence 

San Francisco, Cal 


ABORTION QUOTA 

lam a young wife from an educated 
uppermiddle-class background and, to 
put the “happy cadi t the begi 
ning, I have an cight-monthold son. But 
this is now, when the hurt has healed 
and the old scars are tender only in the 
bleak retrospective silence that some 
nes falls between myself and my hus 
band. 

Before we were we lived 
together for almost two years, and I be- 
came pregnant. Suddenly, our relation. 
ship was enlarged by the mutual joy, 
wonder and awe that only the concep- 
tion of а first child сап ассотрі 
1 two Naturally, we 
ht, we would be immediately 
ried and it would be a case of “happily 
ever after.” Unhappily, this was not 
the ca 

You sce, I was carrying twins (frater- 
nal), but spontancously and inexplicably 
aborted one while remaining pregnant 
with the other. Although my body dung 
stubbornly to the one life within it, I was 
bleeding frequently and that life, had i 
survived, would have been a mindless, 


peopl 


limbless tragedy. 
In the city where we then lived, the 
doctors associated with any опе hospital 


the predetermined. number. are. regarded 


with great suspicion by the st nd 
any doctor who requests perm m 
perform more than he is "allowed" is in 


danger of losing his hospital privileges. 
My pregnancy came, unfortunately, at the 
end of the fiscal year, when the quota 
had been filled. But, and here's the real 
kick in the head, my doctor intimated 
that the quota is usually reserved for 
the wealthy “society” patients who really 
"need" a “legal” abortion. 

That left us with the alternatives of 
finding a doctor to perform an illegal 
operation or giving birth to a dead or 


terribly malformed baby. We chose the 
former. At a "private sanitarium” I was 
aborted of a fetus that was not only life- 
less but that been "legally" dead at 
the time of my last examination. 

I mean this not as an indictment of 
the medical profession, because I realize 
that their hands are tied with miles of 
red tape. It is the Jaw that forces the 
physician into his inhumanitarian posi- 
tion. It is the law that must be changed 
in the interests of humanity and human 
decency. 


(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


COERCIVE CONTRACEPTION 

In its campaign against any Govern 
ment сога to uphold Christian prin- 
ciples, praynoy has continua ped 
on the idea of individual freedom, saying 
repeatedly that the state has no right to 
involve itself in the private sexual rela- 
tions of adults. I would like to know 
how consistently you stick to your own 
declared. standards. 

The Roman Catholic cardinals and 
bishops of the United States, in their 
recent meeting ar Catholic University 
in Washington, D.C., pointed out that 
“Government activities increasingly seek 
aggressively to persuade and even coerce 
the underprivileged” to practice contra- 
ception, The prelates went on: "No 


Government social worker or other rep- 
с of public power should in any 
judgment 


res 
way be permitied to impose hi 

- upon the family seeking 
neither should he be permitted tc 
suggestions placing, even by implication, 
public authority behind the recom- 
mendation that new life in a family 
should be prevented." 

If you really believe in 


personal 


freedom, unhampered by Governmental 
interference, you should support this 
hierarchy. 


statement of the Catholic 
Somehow, I doubt that you 
Franci 
New Yoi 
You are conect: We do not support 
the hievarchy's statement, for reasons 
similar to those given by The National 
Catholic Reporter in ils own dissent 
from the prelates’ declaration. According 
to The New York Times: 


The National Catholic Reporter 
has concluded that the statement of 
the National Conjerence of Catholic 
Bishops on the Government's role 
їп family planning “has to be 
described as a disaster.” 

The editorial attacked the bish- 

ops’ statement for offering по evi- 
dence to support their charge of 
iyrannizing over the poor. 
с can see no reason why clergy- 
men should be exempt from this 
requirement of honest political dis- 
course,” the newspaper said. 


The Times further quoted the follow- 


“Suppose your fellow surgeons found out you lost your 
nerve at the critical moment?” 


ing procedural criticism made by the 
Catholic newspaper: 


“First, the outgoing administra- 
tive board brought the statement 
10 a vole, though supposedly its 
only remaining function was to con- 
duct the elections. 

“Second, the bishops had scant 
time to study and discuss the state- 
ment. 

“Third, the decision was taken by 
а voice vole, with miniseconds per- 
mitted for the ‘nays to register 

“Fourth, the vole was first an- 
nounced—and therefore reported to 
the world—as unanimous, though in 
fact, some bishops abstained. (Later 
‘unanimous’ was revised to ‘without 
audible dissent?) 

“Fifth, it went unreported that 
after the vote, al least one bishop 
voiced vigorous protest against the 
procedure.” 


The Catholic magazine Commonweal 
made the further criticism: 


It was also disingenuous in pur- 
porting to be a simple expression of 
concern for the right of privacy, 


when the language and arguments 
made clear enough what the bish- 
ops declined to say directly, that 
they opposed birth-control pro- 
grams because they oppose birth 
control Ше... 


Since Government officials immediate 
ly and flatly denied the bishops’ accusa- 
tion, and since the bishops have по! 
brought. forth any actual cases to docu 
ment their char; 
only share Commonweal’s skepticism 
about the real meaning of the statement. 


^ of coercion, we can 


“The Playboy Forum" offers the oppor- 
tunity for an extended dialog between 
readers and editors of this publication 
on subjects and issues raised in Hugh 
M. Hefner's continuing editorial series, 
“The Playboy Philosophy.” Four booklet 
reprints of “The Playboy Philosophy,” 
including installments 1-7, 8-12, 13-18 
and 19-22, are available al 506 per book- 
let. Address all correspondence on both 
“Philosophy” and “Forum” to: The 
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Michigan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611. 


145 


PLAYBOY 


146 


BUNNIES ПЕ MISSOURI (uo поп page 112) 


т St. Louis sisters 
in at an imperceptibly fuller 351 
In height, both come up to the ave 
54”, and their weight—116 in К.С. 
St. Louis—doesn't depart apprecia 
‘om the world-wide norm. 

The warmth of the Missouri Clubs 
more than compensates for their not 
being the largest, the newest or the most 
exotic in the Playboy chain. As St. Louis 
Bunny Mother Alex Koch—whose petite 
frame belies her masculine name—says: 
“Almost everyone who comes to Missouri 
tells us the Clubs here are the friendliest 
they've been to. Take St. Louis, Its a big 
place, but not huge, and here we don't 
get as many transients as you'd find in 
larger cities. The Bunnies really get to 
know the keyholders, learn their names, 
what they like to drink, where they | 
to sit, what they want for lunch. Since 
many of the keyholders know one 
other outside the Club as well as inside, 
the atmosphere is relaxed, friendly and 
intimate. This is really like a private 


сш 


пос just а night spot.” 
ht spot or club, the Playboy opera- 
tion has certainly “shown” skeptical Mis- 
sourians. The Kansas City Playboy Club, 
which opened amid a barrage of somber 
newspaper warnings of the city's inabili- 
ty to support a topflight night club 
“Kansas City is a cheap town for night 
life": “Missouri will never stand $1.50 
drinks"). has been turning a tidy profit 
from the outset. The larger St. Louis op 
eration, whose opening was heralded by 
milar press rumblings, is doing equally 
well. 

One Ки 
put his 
success. 


s City entertainment. writer 
finger on the key to the Club's 
‘Though it may seem unfair to 
describe it as such." he wrote, "we are 
indined to feel that this is the citys 
first really professionally operated supper 
dub. The operation runs smoothly and 
on schedule, thanks 10 the experience 
gathered im similar Clubs in other cities. 
Ай of the employees, from the bus boys 
10 the Bunnies, are thoroughly indoctri 


“He was nothing to write home about.” 


nated in the Playboy way of doing 
things—and this includes even the way 
shtrays are emptied. The Bunnies, most 
famous aspect of the Club, live up to 
expectations. They're pert, attractive. 
well endowed—and well versed in ways 
of taming a wolf without losing a 
customer.” 

While the urban credentials of both 
souri Playboy cities are unimpeach- 
able—K. C. has long been recognized ак 
one of tlie swing small" cities in 
the U.S., and 50. Louis has been a mid- 
American entertainment mecca for al 
most a century—much of the remaining 
Missouri. scene is rural. As a conse 
quence, the Bunnies of the Show-Me 
atc exhibit a fine—if somewhat im 
probable—balance of urbane sophisti 
tion and pastoral ingenuousness, 

Jacque Burkhart, for instance, a talent- 
ed К. C. discothèque dancer who became 
a Bunny on a dare and now "wouldn't 
trade joby with any girl in Missou 
vides lier free time between racing her 
Sprite (last summer she won a first place 
trophy in time trials at nearby Riverside) 
and raising—you guessed it—rabbits. 
Her current favorite is a three-legged 
female who has the run of her pad. “The 
poor thing reminds me of my first night 
as a Bunny.” Jacque says. 

Petite Jackie Rosier grew up on a f 
im Chatham, Ilinois, and now lives 
Shawnee Mission, Missouri. She once won 
a Betty Crocker Award in home econom- 
ics, spent two years at Bradley University 
in Peoria, Minois. journeyed to Miami as 

stewardess for National Airlines and 
found a home in the Kansas 


m 


St. Louis, Bunny Starr Tirre 
commutes to her hutch from a tenand. 
halfacre farm, digs skeet shooting and 
hunting, boasts a small armory of shot- 
guns and rifles, Hutchmate Nancy Al- 
merigi, another outdoor type, who looks 
са grownup Shirley Temple, is a for 
mer Michigan soda jerk and was once 
chosen Miss All-American High School 
Beaury, in Grand Rapid lesgirl at 
a J. C. Penney store in St. Louis before 
she hit the Bunny tail, Sue Smith grew 
up on a hog fa 
boasts that she 
usually they don’t come.” 
Lynn Murphree, who doe 
cowslip that Kansas City law confines her 
iv duties until she reaches а 
g 21, hails from rural Sela- 
been known to spend fice week- 


10 Door Bu 


ends in N 
Husbandiy also means more than the fu- 
ture tense of "bachelorhood" to hutch 
mate Jane Schroeder, an accomplished 
equestrienne who fills out her hee time 
breeding quarter horses—and. racki 
up ribbons in а bone jarring rodeo evel 
known as the rel 
which she desar 


piglets. 


slalom on horsel After handing us a 


cigarillo to celebrate her latest stud Год 


Jane told us she’s owned horses since she 
was old enough to walk, rides every 
chance she gets, finds horse breeding a 
relaxing (and, needless по say, reward- 
ing) hobby. 

Indian reservations and enclaves still 
adjoin the Kansas City area, and on a 
busy night keyholders can find as many 
as three liule Indians—part Indians. 
any rate, in silk cars rather than eagle 
feathers—in the Playboy Club atop the 
Continental Hotel. Brandi Christ's jet 
black hair and high cheekbones clearly 
Indian ancestry—she’s half 


indicate hi 
Cherokee. A former realestate agent 
(she’s still trying to live down the sale of 
Manhattan Island), Brandi can't decide 
whether to use her Bunny money to 
open a realestate agency or a pet shop. 
We suspect that Ше Titer of Siamese 
wb the heifer she's 


cats she owns 
about to buy—will m. 
her. Another of Kansas City’s vanishing 
Americans—may their tribe iucrcase!— 
is Candy Akins. Despite blonde hair 
and blue eyes, Candy is one fourth 
Cherokee. She spent a year at the Univer- 
sity of Missouri, now passes her free time 
painting impressionistic portraits in wa 
ter colors and oils. Self-appointed. chief 
of the tribe is popular Judi Bradford, 
who proudly proclaims that she’s “an all- 
American girl—one fourth Blackfoot In- 
dian, one Вай Americin Negro and one 
fourth miscellaneous. Judi won her 
B.A. in sociology at Central Missouri 
at Warrensburg, plans to get 
|a thesis on 


ke the decision for 


State College 
her master’s in Denver, 
Playboy Club keyholders. “Bunnies have 
peculiar effects on different men.” Judi 
observed, with scholarly understatement. 
“I'm collecting data on all this and hope 
to get a master's thesis out of it.” With 
her masters in hand, Judi wants to go 
into: social work, sincerely hopes to use 

ta 


her growing rabbit's nest egg to 
charitable home for orphans. Everyone 
who knows her—and her admirers in 
Kansas City are legion—is certain she'll 
succeed. 

Judi is delightful proof of an observa- 
tion rabbitués have been making ever 
since cottontails first greeted keyholders: 
Ти Bu 
well as up front—that counts. In 
City, for instance, one third of the Bun- 
nies are former or current coeds, and the 
percentage in St. Louis is only slightly 
lower. As reporter Rich Meier observed 
in The Daily Nebraskan alter a visit to 
the К.С. Club; “You don't have to have 
a college education to be a Playboy 
Bunny, but it helps.” 

During a typical evening at the К.С 
Club, for instance, keyholders are likely 
10 encounter a startling array of brainy 
beauties. Nancy Stephens, a former "Army 
brat” as she puts it, is a sparkling non- 
conformist who wears her hair like 
Whistler's mother's. She has lived in 
tually every state in the Union and every 


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province in West Germany. Nancy trans- 
ferred to the University of Kansas from. 
Northwestern and was graduated in dra- 
matic. She came to the Playboy Club not 
as a Bunny but as a seamstress, but has 
been table-hopping ever since Club execs 
noted she could do more for a Bunny 
costume tli mend it. She still has 
theatrical aspirations, and hopes this 
summer to snag а part-time job dirccting 
a children's theater. Not surprisingly, con. 
sidering the years she spent in Germany, 
Nancy speaks fluent German. She can 
brush up her umlauts with several of the 
other Bunnies who comprise Kansas 
City's Deutscher Verein. 

One of them, Brig 


a—with an A-minus average. 
5 fluent French, Spanish 


and German—and perfect English, with 
а slight caramel drawl, reflecting the ten 
years she lived in Tulsa, "I've been read- 


ing psychology texts in my spare time 
Brigitte revealed. "You'd be surprised a 
/chology gives you—and 
as a Bunny, knowledge of people can't 
hurt you." She hopes soon to transfer to 
the London Playboy Club, as a part- 
time cottontail and fulltime graduate 
student. 

Bunny Marsha Combs, a slender, black- 
haired farmer's daughter from Gower, 
Missouri, won a B. S. from Northwest 
Missouri State College at Maryville with 


ıt business administration 
or college prior to donning 
Bunny bunting in К.С. Bunny Jaime 
John, a 5'8” blue-eyed blonde, has never 
been able to quell a penchant for travel 
sufficiently to settle down and finish her 
degree requirements. She studied language 
and literature at the University of Mis- 
souri, at Colorado and at Kansas. She 
hopes to finish her studies now that she's 
found a home in Kansas City. Hutchmate 
hman majored in commercial art 
at Joplin Junior College—and then be- 
came а go-go dancer. She and blue-eyed 
Glenna Burch were once twin-billed 
сусроррев at Marge's DiscA-Go-Go 
Kansas City. 

Ar а half inch over five feet, Bunny 
Bobbi Bouchier is К. C.'s tiniest cotton- 
tail, She spent two years at the University 
of Kansas, majoring in fine art, and 
has worked as ап ad-layout designer and 
as a surgical nurse. Bobbi loves to travel, 
has seen most of Europe and hopes to 
return soon to the Costa Brava, where 
she spent a swinging summer several 
years ago. 

Bunny-hopping back to St. Louis, the 
academically inclined keyholder couldn't 
fail to be impressed by ravendhaired 
Eunice Baumgartner, an indefatigable 
full-time Bunny and student, who just 
graduated from college with a resounding 
3.6 academic average (out of a possible 
4.0) and bas been accepted at medical 


school. She plans to continue to lead her 
two rewarding lives as long as dasswork 
permits. 

Staffing the Penthouse with Eunice 
is statuesque Angela Ashton, currently 
completing her master's degree in Eng. 
lish literature at St. Louis’ Washington 
University. Angela was Miss Miami Uni- 
versity in 1962, sp French and 
Greek and tentatively plans to continue 
on to a Ph. D. Downstairs in the Living 
Room there's brown-eyed Bunny André 
Johnson, a reformed surfnik who grew 
up in Honolulu, won her degree in den- 
tal hygiene from the University of Hawaii, 
still reads medical texts for kicks. Pacifi- 
cally oriented André lived in Ja 
three years, has traveled throughout Asia 
and plans to use her Bunny money to 
further assuage her wanderlust 

Petite Brenda DouBrava belies her 
five-foot size by a king-sized ambition to 
be a college gym teacher. A bright and 
vivadous redhead, Brenda put in two 
years at St. Louis’ Harris Teachers Col- 
lege, hopes to return shortly for her de- 
gree. She was voted St, Louis’ Best Bum 
for 1965 and says her two-week prize wip 
to Puerto Rico was “absolutely the best 
time of my life.” Along with Eunice, 
Brenda forms the Club's dynamic duo of 
public speakers: Both spend many а 
lunchtime over creamed. chicken ех 
plaining PLAYsov and its Clubs to local 
business groups. Brenda's cottontail co- 
hort in the Playmate Bar is often Kim 
Auzolina, a former stewardess who grad- 
uated in liberal arts from Marjorie Web- 
ster Junior College in Washington, D. C. 
Kim still digs travel, spends her free time 
waterskiing (on southern Missouri's Lake 
of the Ozarks) and snow-skiing (at Far- 
away Lake Placid), has no qualms about 
jet-setting to places like Paris, New York 
ог Miami on weekend larks. 

Another liberal-arts type is dark-haired 
Lyn Lanham, who majored in creative 
writing at Marshall College in her home 
town of Huntington, West Virginia. “1 
still write short stories,” Lyn says, “but 
not for publication—at least so far 
Maybe someday I'll write the great 
American Bunny novel.” Carol Hatcher, 
а jethaired, dimpled beauty from the 
downstate Missouri town of Cape Girar 
deau, majored in art at Southeast. Mis- 
souri State. She creditable oil 
landscapes and stills, regularly attends 
St. Louis’ renowned Municipal Opera, 
and has big brown eyes for a career in 
advertising art. 

No less impressive than their academ- 
ic and cultural qualifications are the Mis- 
sow Bunnies charitable endeavors. In 
St Louis many of the Bunnies have 
independently—and. until 
recently, unbeknownst to the Club man 
agement а nearby settlement 


paints 


by the Bunnies and sold at hefty prices 
to sweettoothed. keyholders, and Bunny 


ashes—with costumed Bunnies tak- 
ing a shine to a keyholder's car—have 
ed substantial quantities of cash for 
g local ch s. In addition, 
weekly contributions from cach Bunny 
now support six Asian children on the 
Foster Parents’ Plan. 

Bunny Mother Alex’ favorite story of 
Bunny charity work concerns a show 
Frank Sinatra put on a while back to 
ather Dismas’ Hallway House. 
billed ав the ‘Sinatra Spectac 
Alex told us. “OF course, the 
was there, and Kiel Audi- 
torium was a sellout. Well, fourteen of 
my girls—pardon the possessive—acted as 
hostesses, Бой the main cvent and at 
the celebrity cocktail party beforehand. 
They did so well, on stage and off, that 
when Sammy Davis came back in town 
on a one-nighter a few weeks later, he 
called us personally, at one in the morn- 
ing, w set up a cocktail party in the 
Bunnies’ honor 

Over in Kansas City, Ше girls are 
equally busy, with many working indi- 
vidually for charities that pa 
appeal to them. A Bunny softb 
regularly lends its services for charity cx- 
hibitions with the Optimist Club; and a 
group of Bunnies, led by native Kansas 
an Sharron Long, is just now coor- 
dinating Bunny services and cash for a 
Jocal orphanage, Sharron, incidentally, a 
willowy 5'9" sans rabbit cars, is the tallest 
girl in the К.С. hutch. А former tele- 
phone operator, she still salts away a tidy 
percentage of her Bunny lettuce in 
АТЕТ stock. 

The Club in which she work: pent- 
house layout atop the 22-story Continental 
Hotel, at llth and Baltimore, in the 
heart of downtown К. C. Passing through 
the Rabbit-cmblazoned elevator door, key- 
holders find themselves in the Lobby, fac- 
ing gorgeous Door Bu Lathrope 
and should they look farther—the Gift 
Shop beyond. Opening on the Lobby to 
the left is the combined Playmate Bar 
and Living Room; to the right, the Pent- 
house, which offers the only supper-club 
entertainment in К: 
straight ahead, the Playroon 
in the stained walnut, tri 
blackand-orange motif that has come to 
characterize Pl Jubs round 


of. intimacy —surpr 
establishment that can, and often does, 
seat 312. 

By comparison, the St. Louis Playboy 
Club, which accommodates half a 
many, seems very much larger—but no 
less intimate. Located at 3914 Lindell— 
behind a fountain and a Japanese stone 
garden in which blooms a classic birch 
tree—the St. Louis Club is a tastefully 
understated fourstory structure whose 


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150 


“1 say, Sir Reginald, have you noticed anything 
peculiar about this voyage?” 
уар 


exterior fagade of burnt, knotty walnut 
nd glass, set off by soaring white gird- 
ers, gives a foretaste of the elegance 
ithin, Door Bunny Marty Sparks—who 
gave up а career as a coiffeuse when she 
discovered that Bunnies have more fun— 
greets keyholders in the Lobby. Marty 
recently а local cause célebre, when 
nd her small cabin cruiser were 
nded for 35 hours—without food, 
ater or blankets—on а sand bar in the 
middle of the Mississippi. A river pa- 
ol boat finally rescued her, and after 
a days rest ck greeting 
keyholders. 

The keyholder who focuses beyond 
Мапуф ears will discover the Gilt Shop 
nd, down four steps to the left, the 
Playmate Bar. To the rear, a staircase 
spirals up to the Living Room, Cartoon 
Corner and Playpen, which seats a doz- 
suspension over the 

ме Bar. 


she 


she was Ба 


son, who amply serves as day- 
с Bumper-Pool Bunny. offers anothe 
tale of water woe. Kim rates herself “a 
pretty good sailor,” and crewed on a 38- 
foot schooner in the Caribbean last sui 
mer. She says: “We were caught in a bad 
storm between Bimini and Nassau. After 
being buffeted for two days, the ma 
mast broke. We finally made it to Nas 
siu, but all of us—ihere were сїрїн oi 
hoard—were pretty. frazzled." Not fraz- 
dled enough, however, to deter her from 
planning another stiling venture 
summer. 

Reluctantly leavin 


this 


Kim to her bump- 


er pool, the keyholder visiting the 
Louis Club can climb the plushly carpeted 


stairs up to the Playroom and Penthouse, 
where—as in all Playboy Clubs—some of 
best new acts in Ame 
ightly. The visitor to the Penthouse may 
find himself served by Penthouse Bunny 
Joyce Chadwick, charming proof that Mis- 
Sou: s are as diverting as they 
ave diverse. Breath-taking Joyce, voted St. 
Louis’ Best Bunny for 1963, so impressed 
ated columnist Earl Wilson (who 
peroned Joyce and six other top Bi 
through cognac country i 
southwestern France) that he described 
her as 9” Suzy Parker or P. 
Prentiss look-alike . . . a great undi 
covered American beauty." St. Louis 
keyholders, who had realized this soon 
after their Club opened, could only 


са entertain 


nod in agreement. 

Wilson also solved an undiscovered 
American mystery when he surprised 
Joyce puttering with a comb. As he 
tells it, tongueincheekly: " "What am 1 


doing? she echoed 
combing my Bunny t 
e verv proud of 
Bunny tails neatly combed.” 


“Lam а deep, profound thinker,” Wil 


quiry- 1 am 
In St. Louis we 


son mused, “but if you had asked me the 


day before yesterday whether a Bunny 


Vd e been 


was ever combed, 
stuck for an answer." 
Pint-sized Lucy Martin, whose 4/9" 
makes her Bunnydom's reigning petite 
laureate, boasts а 35-23-35 form to prove 
that good things still come in small. pack- 
ages. Though she occasionally dreams of 
inches taller, 
icebreaker, 
privately feels or the rest of the 
hutch because of her uniqueness. The 
only pra idvantape is her inabili- 
ty to reach tall glasses on the uppermost 
shelves behind standardized Playboy Club 
bars. Lucys Bunny earnings have fi- 
need a private Ova away 
miles southwest of St. Louis, where she 
is wont to repair during the summer for 
weekends of water-ski 
100-horsepower Mercury) 
in the buff (alonc). 
Margie Scheibel, who was once a part- 
me spotter for the St. Louis football 
Cardinals, recently graduated from Bun- 
nyhood to housewifery when she achieved 
must be a world-wide Bunny 
bition—to marry a Playboy Club ow 


an 


nd swimming 


(Unlike most links in the Playboy cha 
Louis Ба franchised operation, ru 
by Playboy Clubs International but 


owned by a group of lo. 
Bev Masek, one of the Club's regular 
Bumper-Pool Bunnies, 
the baseball 
box seat at our fabulous new stadiur 
Bey told us, "and there's nou 
better than a night ball game, followed 
by a drive around downtown in my new, 
white Mustang—and perhaps some late 
icing in Gaslight Square." There she 
night run into hutchmate Carol DeLay, 
the Club's most accomplished dancer, 
who played a bit role in Hush, Hush, 
Sweet Charlotte and was recently selected 
by admiring St. 


1 businessmen.) 


Anoth St. Loui: 
Jackson. digs wat 


sportnik, Sheila 
skiing so much that 
her commendable form can often be 
seen gliding across the sienna surface of 
Ole Man River. “The Mississippi isn't 
that bad, really. It has a muddy reputa- 
tion that it doesn’t quite deserve.” she 
told us, adding coyly that “it does help if 
you're а good skier. 

Three Bunnies, Sandy Li 
rt and Rosemary Highle 


„и 
have 


Stew- 


been 


with the St. Louis Club since it opened 
October 16, 


1962, Before donning her 
idy was ап executive secre- 
ir Force—and boasted “top 
But she makes no secret 
t she was SL Louis” 
ng а swingin 


of the 
Bunny lor 1964, winr 


fact ui 


to С: 


The most uptodate thing in К. 
y is Wanda Gaillia 
ged by careless door ор 


s new 


Bu; 


ping the British-racinggreen finish of 
her new XK-E roadster (bought with her 
Bunny earnings, of course), Wanda built 
a curtain-rod device that attaches to the 
car whenever she has to park in con- 
gested areas, Her paint job is now flaw- 
less, and several other local E-types have 
copied the gimmick. 

The story behind Kansas City Check- 
room Buuny Gandy Lobo is unique and 
touching. Candy was blind from age 4 to 
17, when an operation restored her sight. 
g able to see again was quite an 
с. of course,” Candy says non- 

“Му new world was very 
beautiful but very difficult to adjust to. 1 
had planned a career in teaching blind 
lren—in fact, this is what 1 was ac- 


L 
But somehow, І fel that 1 wa 
good a teacher after 1 could see ag 
and I bec Bui 

Last but certainl, 


ally doing before I regained my sight. 
їч as 


nc a 


our ré- 


gent is Ka 
whose b 


ny bunting an aura of 
i was born in Ger- 
, studied design three yea 
ks flawless German, good Spanish— 
and excellent English. She was K. C.'s 
Best Bunny for 1964. and used her Span- 


ish to good advantage on the prize trip to 
She's also the only Bunny 
Missouri 


Venezuela. 
who's worked Clubs, 
having ope n 16 
nd moved to K. С. for the opening there 
in 1964. As such, she's uniqu ибей 
to conclude our dissertation оп the Bun- 
nies of Missouri, and—in 
miniscent of Marlene Dit 


at both 


“Compare the girls at the two Clubs? 
Well, the Kansas City Club is well ap- 
pointed, but the St. Louis Club is cven 
prettier—and attractive — surroundi 
mean attractive Bunnies, Вш the Kansas 
City Club is better laid out from the 
Bunnies’ point of view, since there are по 
stairs to dimb, and it's smaller, which 
сапу less walking around and more 
contact with the keyholders. This means 
the К. С. Bunnies get to show more рег 


sonality, Bu the St. Louis Club, 
which is larger, does more business. The 
St. Lou b gave me my start; there's 


а great bunch. of girls in St. Louis, and 
ТИ always be attached 10 them. But now 
Im used to K.C, and I like the girls 
here just as well. 1 guess you'd have to 
say I just like the Bunnies at both places 
And so, needless to say, do we. 


Bunny applications may be obtained 
by writing Playboy Clubs International, 
Bunny Department. Playboy Building, 
919 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, 
Illinois 60611. 

Ba 


151 


PLAYBOY 


152 


NEW ARISTOCRATS 


оп one’s bias—with heavy use of com- 
puters. These same premises are seen by 
some as enriching and great, and by 
others as menacing and empty. 

Oddly, however, both ids of predic- 
tion describe the play and leave out 
Hamlet; namely, the next generation it- 
self, the young people who are going to 
be the heirs to all this greatness or the 
slaves of this social engineering. I have 
mot secn a single forecast that takes into 
account. that present high school and col- 
lege students will be of some importance 
in shaping society 20 years from now. 
Commencement speakers are eager to 
pass on the torch and they seem to be 
sure that there are ready hands to re- 
ceive it. Yet the evidence is that students 
are not at all happy with the present 
trends and attitudes, whether the predic- 
tion is gloomy or rosy. For instance, in 
1956, surveys showed that college stu 
dents admired and wanted to work in 
big corporations, but last year (at Har- 
vard) more seniors opted for the Peace 
Corps than for carcers in business. Allow 
me a small personal example: My book 
Growing Up Absurd sells 1000 copies a 
week, of which the majority, my pub- 
lisher guesses, are bought by high school 
students. This gives опе pause; I 
wouldn't have thought they could read 
the words. Maybe they can't, but they 
get the message, that the conditions of 
our society are too inhuman to grow up 
in. For collegians that message is dated; 
they take it for granted. 


(continued from page 111) 


I do not intend to predict what the 
future might look like if we take young 
people into account. І don't know (al- 
though 1 give plenty of advice, which 
they disregard). What I want to show, 
however, is that point by point, with 
remarkable precision, articulate. students 
—and an indeterminate number of 
others—live, feel and think in direct 
Opposition 10 the premises on which 
both the rosy and the gloomy predic- 
tions are based. Y is so in their commu- 
nity life, their ethics and their politics. 
If only because of sheer numbers, the 
temper of young people must make a 
difference for the future. And it is whis- 
ting in the dark to think that their oppo- 
sition is а “generational revolt” that will 
be absorbed as they grow older and wis- 
er, for it is endemic in our system of 
things. If the planners continue to treat 
this temper as if it did not exist, the re- 
sult will be still deeper aliena 
worse ultimate disruption. My experi 
ence in Washington, as a Fellow of the 
Institute of Policy Studies, is that social 
and educational planners have about as 
much information of what happens on 
college campuses as Ше State Depar- 


ment has about. Vietnam. 
соммохпу: About 50 percent of all 
Americans are now under 26, Of the 


college-age group, nearly 40 percent go 
to college—there are 6,000,000 in 2000 
institutions. Of the present collegians, it is 
estimated. that five percent are in some 
activity of the radical youth. movement, 
ly "left" but sometimes "right." Th 


“With my Harold, I'd welcome a response of any kind!!” 


docs not scem a big proportion, but it 
has increased at least tenfold in the last 
decade, and it and the number of its 
alumni will certainly increase even more 
rapidly in the next years. We are thus 
speaking of several million people. 

More important, they are the leaders. 
Radical collegians are not only middle 
class but they are also disproportionately 
the best academically and from the most 
prestigious schools. Unlike Negro youth, 
who are now causing such turmoi 
collegians are а major economic force, 
looming large among the indispensable 
inheritors of the dominant power in so- 
ciety. And although—or perhaps because 
—they do not share а common ideology 
but rather a common sentiment and 
style, in showdown situations like the 
troubles in Berkeley, they have shown a 
remarkable solidarity and a common de. 
testation for Ше liberal center, crossi 
even the apparent chasm between с: 
оете right and extreme left. 

A chief reason for their solidarity and. 
their increase in numbers is mass higher 
education itself. For most, going to 
college has little academic value—i 
deed, one of their shared sentiments is 
resistance to being academically proc- 
esed for the goals of the "system." In 
my opinion, about 15 percent, instead 
of 40 percent, ought to be in colleges: 
the тез, induding most of the bright, 
would be better educated in other envi- 
ronments. Nevertheless, the major col- 
leges and universities are, in fact, many 
hundreds of physical and social сотти- 
nities of young people, with populations 
of а few thousand to 25,000, sharing a 
subculture, propagandizimg one another 
and learning to distrust anybody over 
30. Such collections of youth are а 
phenomenon unique in hisiory. 

Consider some details from San Fran- 
cisco State College, where 1 was hired as 
а teacher by the Associated Students last 
ш. With 15,000 students, the Asso- 
ted Students collect $300,000 annually 
п half of which is free 
nd clear and which they use for untra- 
ditional purposes. These purposes include 


organizing a tenants’ league, helping de- 
linquents in а reformatory. running a 


To and Mexican 
in tutors), 5 
soring a weekly television program on 
KQED, running an “experimental col- 


with offbeat courses, and hiri 


tutorial program for 


their own professors. They apply on their 
for institutior nts from the Ford 


ow 


Foundation and the Poverty Program. In 
the fall of 1 


66, the experimental coll 
gistered 1600 students! 

Or consider the college press, with its 
fairly captive audience of a couple of 
million, many of them daily. In а few 
cases, eg, Harvard and Columbia, publi- 
cation has gone off campus and is not 
under the tutelage of “faculty advisors.” 
Increasingly. college papers subscribe to 


news services and print (and edit) nation- 
al and international news; and they also 
use syndicated material, like Art Buch- 
wald, Jules Feiffer, Russell Baker. Occa- 
sionally, the college paper is the chief 
daily of its town (eg., the Cornell Sun) 
More important, there is a national stu- 
dent press service that could be a power- 
fully eflective liaison [or mobilizing 
opinion on common issues. Last winter I 
wrote a fortnightly column on student 
mauers for a tiny college in Vermont, 
which the caterprising editor at once syn- 
dicated to 50 other college papers. On this 
model there could spring up a system of 
direct support, and control, of students 
"own" authors, just as, of course, they now 
indirectly support them through maga- 
zines whose main circulation is collegiate. 

Nor are these young people properly 
called “youth.” The exigencies of ше 
American system have kept them in tute- 
lage, doing lessons, till 23 and 24 years 
of age, years past when young industrial 
workers used to walk union picket lines 
or when farmers carried angry pitch- 
Iorks, or young men are now drafted into 
the Army. Thus, another cause of their 
shared resentment is the foolish attempt 
10 arrest their maturation and regulate 
their social, sexual and political activity. 

More than other middle-class genera- 
tions, these young live a good deal by 
“interpersonal rdations" and they are 
unusually careless, in their friendships, 
about status or getting ahead. I do not 
mean that they are especially affection 
ate or comp ate—they are average 
ly so—but they have been soaked in 
modern psychology. group therapy, sen 
sitivity training: and as а style they go in 
for direct confrontation and sometimes 
brutal frankness, Add to this the lack of 
embarrassment due 10 animally uninhib 
ited childhood, for their parents, by and 
large, were permissive about thumb 
sucking, toilet training, masturbation, 
informal dress, etc. They are the post 
Freudian generation in this country 
their parents were analyzed from 1920 
w 1940. The cieca of all this psychology 
—for example, long sessions of mutual 
s or jabber about LSD trips—can 
be tiresome, at least to me; but it is fatal 
to suburban squeamishness, race and 
moral prejudice, and to keeping up ap 
pcarances. Still another cause of resent- 
ment at the colleges is the impersonality 
and distance of the teachers and the big 
dasses that make dialog impossible, Stu- 
dents are avid for dialog. Sometimes this 
looks like clamoring for "attention," as 
our statesmen say about the demonstra- 
tors, but it is really insisting on being 
taken seriously as woubled human beings. 

Middleclass privacy also tends to 
vanish. An innovation of the Beats was 
the community use of one another's pads, 

nd this spirit of sharing has persisted 
in olfcampus university communities, 
| are very different from pater- 
nalistic dormitories or fraternity row. In 


ssio 


This is what tlie 
boss drinks. 


STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKY + Bb PROOF » DID HICKORY DISTLLERS CO., PHILA, 


: 
0 


AFTER SHAVE 


“When you use 007; 
-..be kind" 


Cologne, After Shave, Deodorants, and other 
grooming alds. © 1967, Colgate-Palmolive Company 


153 


PLAYBOY 


154 


big cities there are rapidly growing bo- 
hemian student neighborhoods, usually 
—if only for the cheaper rent—located 
n racially mixed sections. Such neigh- 
borhoods, with their own coffechouses 
and headquarters for student political 
clubs, cannot be сопиойед by campus 
administration, In the famous insurrec- 
tion of Berkeley, Telegraph Avenue 
could casily rally 3000 students, cx- 
students, wives and pals. (The response 
of the University of California adminis- 
uation has been. characteristically, to try 
10 root up the student neighborhood with 
Federally financed urban renewal.) 
Inevitably, sexual activity and 

drugs loom overlarge in the public pic 
ture: for, whereas unkempt hair, odd 
ad radical politics may be dis- 


а more animal reactic 
The statistics seem to show, however 
that quantitatively there are not many 


nore sexual goings on than since the 
Twenties. The difference is that the di 
become more honest 
Sexuality is affirmed 


s the 
raternity gang 


tur- 
bangs 


covered by be 
more community altogether, sex t 
revert to normalcy of back ru 
arcas, with the beautiful difference of 
middle-class prudence and contraceptives. 
(Probably, since there is less moralism, 
there are more homosexual acts, though 
not, of course, any increase of homosexu- 
ality аха trait of character.) In the more 
nest meaning of sex. love and mar- 
riage, however, the radical young still 
seem averagely messed up, mo better 
than their parents, There is no remark- 
able surge of joy or росу е chief 
progress of the sexual revolution, so far, 
n the freer treatment of small 
children thar I mentioned above. The 
conditions of American society do not 
encourage manly responsibility and 
moral courage in men, and we simply do 
not know how to use the tenderness and 
The present dis 


motherliness of wome 
оп of the radical young is to treat 
males and fe Ке: in my observa 
tion, this means that (Ве women become 
camp followers, the opposite of the 
suburban situation in which they are 
tyrannical dolls. 1 don't know the answer. 


рози 


les a les 


“Judge Rollins has yet to have a decision reversed.” 


ly the slogan “Make love, not 
war"—carried mainly by the girls—is 
political wisdom. if only because it costs 


les Taxes. 
The community meaning of the wide- 
spread use of hallucinogenic drugs is 


addic- 
ve 


mbiguous. (Few students use 
they are prudent.) E h: 
heard students hody defend the drugs 
s of spiritual and political fre 
dom, ог hotly condemn them as а quiet- 
opiate of the people, or indifferently 
miss them as a matter of ламе. I am 
myself not a hippie and I am unwilling 
10 judge. It seems clear that the more they 
с pot, the less they get drunk, but 1 
don’t know il this is an advantage ог 
disadvantage. (I don't get drunk, either.) 
Certainly there is a dillerence betwee 
the quiet socializing of marijuana and 
the alcoholic socializing of the frate 
nities, suburbs and Washington. Also, 
being illegal and hard to procure, the 
drugs create conspiracy and а chasm be- 
tween these who do and those who 
don’t. As usual, the drug laws, like other 
moral laws, fail to eradicate the vice 
they intend to eradicate, but they pro- 
duce disastrous secondary effects. 

The LSD cult, especially, must be un- 
derstood as part of a wave of religiosity 
in young persons that has included Ze 
Christa and Jewish existentialism, 
kind of psychoanalytic yoga, and 
magic of the Book of Changes. On the 
campus, a young Protestant chaplain—or 
even a Catholic—is often the center of 
radical activity, which may indude a 
forum for psychedelic theory as well as 
peace and Negro rights. Certainly the cal- 
ып of modern times is 
s selfevidence; and it is not th 
end of the world to flip. Personally, 1 
don't like it when people flip. it is eerie 
І like people to be in touch, and I thin 
the heads are mistaken when they think 
they are communicating. Also, in our 
overtechnological society, 1 am intensely 
suspicious of Dr. Tim Learys formula to 
"turn on, tune in and drop out" by diem- 
ical means. Yet by and large, the public 
repression in this field is grosly dispro- 
portionare to the occasional damage that 
has been proved; and frankly, the bur- 
den of proof is the other way: If we do 
not want young people to live in harm 
les dreams, we have to provide som. 
thing better than the settled arithune 
delusions of Mr. McNamara, mot to 
speak of Herman Kal thor of On 
Thermonuclear War. 

The shagginess and chosen poverty of 
student communities have nuances that 
might be immensely important for the 
Пише. We must remember that these 
е the young of the affluent societ 
used to a high standard of living and 


the 


confident that, И and when they want, 
they can fit in and make good money. 


Having suffered lite pressure of insecu. 
rity, they have little psychological need 


A 12-ınch TV set 
priced at 


OR another unit priced 


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А two-door 
refrigerator priced 
at an average of $244.85... 


another model 
priced at an 
average of $255.58? 


OR 


An AM 
table radio 


priced at 


another AM 
table radio 
priced at $2795? 


OR 


$11.98... 


An instant-load camera 
priced at $54.95... 


another model 
priced at $71.98? 


OR 


The answers below—from the 448-page CONSUMER REPORTS BUYING GUIDE issue—may surprise you! 


в YOU buy “blindfolded (as most con- 

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155 


PLAYBOY 


156 


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credit keyholders 
may charge to 
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to climb; just as, coming from respect- 
able homes, they feel no disgrace about 
sitting a few nights in jail. By confidence 
they are aristocrats—cn masse. This, too, 
is unique in history. At the sime time, 
the affluent standard of living that they 
have experienced at home is pretty syn- 
thetic and much of it useless and phony; 
whereas their chosen poverty is not de- 
graded but decent, natural and in many 
says more comfortable than their par- 
ents’ standard, especially if they can al- 
ways corral obvious goodies such as hi 
equipment and motorcycles Typically, 
they tour Europe on nothing, sleeping 
under bridges; but if they get really hun- 
gry, they cin drop in at American Ex- 
press to pick up their mail. Most of the 
major satisfactions of life—sex, paperback 
books, guitars, roaming, conversation, 
games and activist politis—in. fact, cost 
litde. 

Thus, this is the first generation in 
America selective of its standard of 
ing. If this attitude became gencral, it 
would be disistrous for the expanding 
Gross National Product. And there is ob- 
vious policy and defiance in their pov- 
ty and shagginess. They have been 
influenced by the voluntary poverty of 


the beat movement, which signified 
withdrawal from the wap of the affluent 
economy. Finally, by acquaintance they 
experience the ‘harsher tone of the 


involuntary poverty of the Negroes and 
Spanish Americans whose neighborhoods 
they visit and with whom they are 
friends. 

In a recent speech, Robert Hutchins 
pointed out that business can no longer 
recruit the bright young. He explained 
this by the fact that the universities are 
rich and сап offer competitive rewards. 
But I do not think this is the essence, for 
we have seen that at Harvard, business 
cannot compete even with the Peace 
Corps. The essence is that the old drive 
to make а lot of money has lost its mag- 
ism. Yet this docs not seem to mean 
ng for security, for the young are 
increasingly risky. The magnet is a way 
of life that has meaning. This is a luxury 
of an aristocratic community. 
mcs: The chiet (conscious) drive of 
the radical young is their morality. As 
Michael Harrington, author of The 
Other America, has put it, “They drive 
you crazy with their morality,” since for 
it they disregard prudence and politics, 
and they mercilessly condemn day-to-day 
casuistry as if it were all utterly phony. 
When politically minded student lead- 
ers, like the Students for a. Democratic 
Society, try to engage in "tactics" and 

the art of the possible,” they may tem- 
por n in numbers, but they swiftly 
lose influence and begin to disintegrate. 
Yet indignation or a point of honor will 
ally the young in drow 

Partly, the drive to morality is the nat- 
ural ingenuousness of youth, freed of the 


role playing and status secking of our 
society. As aristocrats, not driven by ma- 
terial or ulterior motives, they will budge 
for ideals or not at all. Partly their abso- 
Iutism is a disgusted reaction to cynicism 
and the prevalent adult conviction that 
Nothing can be done. You can't fight 
city hall. Modern life is too complex.” 
But mostly, I think, it is the self-right- 
cousness of an intelligent and innocent 
new gencration in а world where my 
own generation has been patendy stupid 
and incompetent. They have be 
brought up on a literature of devastating 
criticism that has gone 
because there is no answer. 
"The right comparison to them is the 
youth of the Reformation, of Sturm und 
Drang, and of Russia of the Seventies 
and Eighties, who were brought up оп 
their own dissenting theologians, philo- 
sophes and intelligentsia. Let us remem- 


ber that those students did, indeed, 
utely lead revolutions. 
The philosophical words are "authen- 


tment,” from the exis- 
кс vocabulary. And it cannot be 
denied that our dominant society is 
unusually inauthentic. Newspeak and 
double talk are the lingua franca of ad- 
ministrators, politicians, advertisers and 
the mass media. These official people are 
not even lying; rather, there is an шь 
bridgeable chasm between the statements 
made "on the record" for systemic reasons 
or the image of the corporation, and what 
is intended and actually performed. 1 have 
scen mature graduate students crack up 
giggles of anxiety listening to the Sec 
retary of State expound our foreign poli 
cy: when I questioned them afterward, 
some said that he was like a mechanical 
man, others that he was demented. And 
most campus blowups have been finally 
caused by admin nimal inabili- 
ty to speak plain. The students have 
faithfully observed due process and 
manfully stated their case, but the ad- 
ministrators simply cannot talk like hu 
man beings. At this point it suddenly 
becomes clear dat they are confronting 
not a few radical dissenters but a solid 
ass of the young, maybe a majority. 

Two things seem to solidify dissent: 
administrative double talk and the sin 
gling out of “ringleaders” for exemplary 
punishment. These make young people 


nd "comi 


feel that they are not being taken 
seriously, and they are пос 
In principle, “authenticity” is proved 


by “commitment.” You must not merely 
talk but organize, collect money, burn 
your draft card, go South and be shor at, 
go 10 jail. And the young eagerly commit 
themselves. However, а lasting commit- 
ment is hard to achieve, There are a cer- 
tain number of causes that are pretty 
authentic and warrant engaging in: Give 
Negroes the vote, descgrej hotel or 
a bus, commute Chessm: 
the gas chamber, abolish grading and 
get the CIA out of the university, abolish 


HUAC, 
mariju 
the grapep 


get out of Vietnam, legalize 
na and homosexuality, unionize 
kers. But it is rarcly the casc 
ticular authentic cause can 
really occupy the thought and energy of 
more than a few for more than a while. 
Students cool off and hop from issue to 
isuc. then some become angry at the 
backsliders; others foolishly try to prove 
that civil liberties, for instance, are not 
important" as Negro civil rights. for 
ance, or th ity reform is not 
so "important" as stopping the bombing. 
of Hanoi. Others, disillusioned, sink into 
г of human nature. And commit- 
distressingly h from 
the 


Shrewder 
young advocate 
what you "enjoy 


psychologists among the 
etting involved only in 
nd gravitate to—eg., 
don't tutor unless you like kids—but this 
з a weak motive compared with indig- 
tion or justice. 

"The bother is that, except with a few 
political or religious personali the 
stud commitments do по! i 
from their own vocations 
tions; and they are not related 
herent program for the reconstruction of 
society. This is not the fault of the siu- 
dents. Most of the present young h 
unusually little sense of vocation 


ous 


sons by compulsion has not been a good 
way to find one’s identity. And there i 
no acceptable program of reconstruction 
nobody has spelled it out—only vag 
criteria. Pathetically, much 
commitment” is a self-deceptive way of 
fill void of sense of vocation and 
с. Negroes, who are per 
force really committed. to their emanci 


pation, notice this and say that their 
white allies are spiritually exploiting 
them. 


It is a difficult period of history for the 
young to find vocation and identity. 
Most of the abiding human vocations 
and professions, arts and sciences, seem 
to them, and are (to ree) corrupt or 
corrupted: law. business, the physical 
sciences, social work—these constitute the 
hated System. And higher education, both 
curriculum and professors, which ought 
to be helping them find themselves, also 
seems bought out by the System, Students 
know that something is wrong in their 
schooling and they agitare for university 
reform; but since they do not know what 
world they want to make, they do пос 
know what 1o demand to be tugh 
vous: It is not the task of age 18 to 
to devise a coherent program of social 
reconstruction: for instance, to rethink 
our uses of technology, our methods of 
management, our city planning and in- 
ternational relations. They rightly accuse 
us of not providing them a program to 
work for. A small minority—I think in- 
creasing—t Marxism, as in Ше 


9: 


Thirties; but the Marxist theori 
also not thought of anything new 
evant to overripe soc 
students, in my observation, list 
Marxist ideological speeches with polite 
lack of interest—"they are empty, man, 
empty"—and they are appalled by Marx- 
ist political bullying. On the other hand, 
they are disgusted com- 
munism. By an inevitable backlash, since 
they think all American official speech is 
double talk, у disbelieve that Com- 
munis states are worse than our own. 
What the American. young do know, 
being themselves pushed around, item- 
ized and processed, is that they have a 
right (o a say in what aflects them. "They 
believe in democracy, which they have 
to call “participatory democra 
i from double-talk democrac: 

in their ignorance of Ameri 
. they do not recog 
they are Congregationalists, tow: 
ing democrats, Jeffersonians, populists. 
But they know they want the opportu- 
nity to be responsible, по initiate and 
decide, instead of being mere personnel 
Returning from their term overseas, the 
first thousand of the Peace Corps unani- 


to dis- 


ze that 


mously agreed that exercising respons 
bility and initiative had been the most 
hwhile part of their experience, and 
y complained that back home they 
did not have the opportunit 
The primary area for scel 
cy would be, one would i 
for that is where the stu 
dents are and are coerced. And the ra 
1 students, who, we have scc 
nong the best academically, have car 
paigned Гог Lernfreiheit—freedom. from 
grading, excessive examination, compu 
sory attendance at lectures and pri 
scribed subjects— lso for the ancii 
privilege of a say in designing th 
riculum and evaluating ihe u 
But unfortunately, as we have also 
the majority of students do not с 
igher сдиса 
willing to put up with it as it is. They 
college for а variety of extrinsic re 
sons, from earning the degree as a ui 
сага to ех: is 
mass base for university reform. 

So instead of working in their own 
bailiwick, activist students have mainly 
sought participatory democracy for poor 
people, organizing rent strikes, opposing 


те 


оп as such. 


“Now—who else doesn’t understand the annual report?" 


157 


PLAYBOY 


158 


bureaucratic welfare procedures, and so 
forth, But there is an inherent di- 
lemma in this. Negroes claim, perhaps 
correctly, that middle-class whites can- 
not understand their problems; if N 
groes are going to run their own show, 
they have to dispense with white help- 
ers, The present policy of the Student 
Nonviolent Coordinating Committee is 
that Negroes must solve their own pecul- 
iar problems, which are the only ones 
they care about and know anything 
about, and let their young white friends 
attend to changing the majority society. 
There is something, in this. Certainly one 
would have expected Northern students 
to get their heads broken in the cafeteria 
at Tulane or the University of Mississip- 
pi, where they could talk with their peers 
face to face, as well as on the streets of 
country towns. And white Southern lib- 
erals have desperately needed more sup- 
port than they have gotten. 

But pushed too far, the rift with the 
middle-class students consigns poor 
people to a second.class humanity. The 
young Negroes cannot do without the 
universities, for there, finally, is where 


the showdown, the reconstruction of so- 
ciety, will be—although that showdown 
is not yet. Consider: Some pressing prob- 
Jems are universal; the poor must care 
about them, c.g., the atom bomb. Many 
pressing problems are grossly miscon- 
ceived if looked at short range from а 
poor man's point of view; only a broad 
human point of view can save Negroes 


from agitating for exactly the wrong 
things, as they have agitated for educa- 
when what is needed in 


Also, 


tional parks, 
schooling is a small human scale. 
there s 
separatism, for a poor 
ly technological society will not engineer 
the housing and manufacture the cars 
that they intend to use. Finally, in fact, 
the Negroes are, perhaps unfortunately, 
much more American than Negro. Espe- 
cially in the No 
the whole American UNES though it 
makes even less sense for them than for 
anybody сїзє. The Negro subculture that 
talked up has about the same value as 
the adolescent subcultur 
and it does not add up to humanity. 

As in other periods of moral change, 


“But, Pop, after being trustworthy, loyal, 
helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, 
obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, 

clean and reverent, I need the relaxation.” 


only the young aristocrats and the intel- 
lectuals can afford to be disillusioned 
and profoundly radical. And in a high 
technology, only the students will be 
able to construct a program. 

In their own action organizations, the 
young are almost fanatically opposed to 
top-down direction. In several remark- 
able cass, eg, Tom Hayden, Bob 
Moses, Mario Savio, gifted and charis- 
matic leaders have stepped down be- 
causc their influence had become too 
strong. By disposition, without benefit of 
history, they are reinventing anarchist 
federation and a kind of Rosa Luxem- 
burgian belief in spontaneous insurrec- 
ion from below. In imitating Gandhian 
nonviolence, they do not like to submit 
to rigid pline, but each one wants to. 
make his own moral decision about get- 
ting his head broken. If the Aimy really 
geis around to drafting them, it will 


have its hands full 
All this, in my opinion, probably 
take-over by 


makes them immune to 
centralists с Ше Marxists. When 
Trotskyites, for instance, infiltrate an or- 
ganization and try to control it, the rest 
go home and activity ceases. When left 
to their own improvisation, however, the 
students seem surprisingly able to mount 
quite massive efforts, using elaborate 
techniques of communication and expert 
sociology. By such means they will never 
get power. But, indeed, they do not 
want power, they want meaning. 

PARALLEL INSTITUTIONS: The operative 
idea in participatory democracy is decen 
g. to multiply the number who are 
responsible, initiate and decide. In prin- 
ciple, there are two opposite ways of 
decentralizing: either by dividing overcen- 
tralized organizations where 
shown that decentral organization is more 
efficient in economic, social and human 
costs, or at least not too inefficient; or by 
creating new small enterprises to fill needs 
that big organizations neglect or only 
pretend. to fulfill. 

Obviously, the first of these, to cur the 
present structures down to human size, 
is not in the power of the young. But it 
happens that it docs require а vast 
nount of empirical research and ас 
demic analysis to find if, where and how 
decenwalizing is feasible; and in current 
academic style, there is no 
such research and analysis. So on 150 
campuses, I have urged students to work 
оп such problems. They seem fascinated. 
but I do not know if they are coming 
across. (To say it wryly, there is a fine 
organization called Students for a Demo- 
cratic Society, but it is not enough ev 


dent that they are scholars for a 
democratic society.) 
The other way of decentralizing, by 


creating parallel enterprises. better suits 
the student zeal for direct action, and 
they have applied it with energy and i 
ventiveness, They have set up a dozen 


ије “free universities" that I know 
about—probably there are many others 
—in or next to established institutions, 
to teach in a more personal way and to 
deal with contemporary subjects that are 
not yet standard curriculum, eg. Cas 
Cuba, Psychedelic Experience, 
Sensitivity Training, Theater of Par- 
ticipation. Some of these courses are 
action sociology, like organizing labor 
or community development. In poor 
neighborhoods, students have estab- 
lished a couple of radio stations, to 
broadcast local news and propaganda 
and to give poor people a chance to ralk 
into a microphone. They have sct up 
parallel community projects to combat 
the welfare bureaucracy and channelize 
needs and grievances. In the South. they 
have helped form "freedom" political 
machines, since the established machines 
are lily white. They have offered to organ- 
ize international service projects as an al- 
ternative to serving in the Army. (I have 
not heard of any feasible attempts at pro- 
ductive cooperatives or planned urban 
communities of their own, and students 
do not seem at all interested in rural 
reconstruction. though they should be.) 
Regarded coldly, such parallel projects 
are pitifully insignificant and doomed to 
pass away like so many little maga- 
zines. And, in fact, at present, the most 
intense discussions among student radi- 
cals, causing deep rifts, are on this 
theme. Some, following older thinkers 
like Michacl Harrington and Bayard Rus- 
tin (director of a civil rights and poverty 
research institute) want to engage i 
“coalition politics.” to become effective 
by combining with the labor unions and 
leftish liberals in the Democratic Party, 
to get control of some of the Feder: 
money and to campaign for A. Philip 
Randolph's (president of the Brothe 
hood of Sleeping Car Porters) 185 
billion-dollar budget to  climinate 
poverty, This involves, of course, soft- 
pedaling protests for peace, community 
action and university reform, Recent 
history, however, has certainly not fa 
vored this point of view. Federal money 
is dr 
who go to work for the Government get 
fired; nor is it evident that. if it 
spent for liberal social engineering, Ran 
dolph's budget would make a better 
world—even if the money were voted, 
Others, for example one wing of SDS, 
y that the use of participatory democ- 
тасу and parallel institutions is пос for 
themselves but to consolidate people into 
a political party: it is not to provide mod 
els for the reconstruction of society but, 
as a kind of ion rite, to get into the 
game of numbers and power. Th 
seems to me to give up on the authentic- 
ity, meaning and beautiful spontancous 
jon that have, so been the 
real power of the radical young and the 


tro's 


ig up and radical coalition people 


were 


source of what influence they have had. 
And it presupposes that the young know 
where they want to go as a party, rather 
in what direction they are going as 
a movement. But they don't know; they 
(and we) will have to find out by 
conflict. 

In my opinion. it is beuer to regard 
tutions as a remarkable 
classi 


the parallel in 


revival of a American. move- 
ment, populism, that scemed to have 
been dead. It is now reviving on the 
streets and among citizens who storm 
city hall because they feel they have 
been pushed around; in such а move 
the young atural leaders. The 
ple of populism, as in 1880, 
out from under the thumb of the 
barons and do it yourself. And perhaps 
the important step is the first опе, lo 
prove that self-help is possible at ай. 
There may be hope of bringing to life 
many of our routinized institutions if we 
surround them with humanly meaning- 
ful enterprises. The most telling criticism 
of an overgrown institution is a simpler 
one that works better. 

This was John Dewey's vision of the 
voung 60 years ago: He thought of an 
industrial society continually and demo 
cratically renewed by Из next genera- 
tion. freely educated and learning by 
doing. Progressive education, free-spirited 
but practical, was a тура] populist 
conception. And it is useful to regard the 
student movement as progiessive educa 
tion ar the college and graduate-school 
level: for at this level. learning by doing 
begins to be indistinguishable from vo- 
cation, profession and politics. It is the 
opposite of the mandarin establishment 
that now rules the country, and of the 


m, 5 10 


get 


social engineering that is called 
education. Maybe this time around, the 
populist movement will succeed and 
change what we mean by vocation, 
profession and. politi 

So, describing radical students—and 1 
do not know how many others—we have 
noticed their solidarity based on commu: 
nity rather than ideology, their style of 
direct frank confronta their 
democratic inclusiveness and 
carelessness of status, caste or getting 
ahead. their selectivity of the affluent 
standard of living, thei effort to be au 
епіс and committed to their causes 
rather than merely belonging, their de 
term n to have a say and their re- 
fusal to be processed as s d items, 
their extreme distrust of top down direc 
tion, their disposition to anarchist org 
zation and direct action, their disillusion 
with the system of institutions, and their 
belief that they on major 
social functions in improvised parallel 
enterprises. 

Some of these пай, in my 
natural to all чи 
АП of them 
diction to the tion of 
American society. By and large, this is as 
yet the disposition of a minority, but it is 
the only culate disposition that has 
emerged: and it has continually emerged 
for the past ten years. It is a response not 
merely to “issues,” such as civil rights or 
Vietnam, but to deeply rooted defects in 
our present system, and it will have an 
influence in the future. It will make for a 
more decent society than the Great Soci- 
ety and it may well save uy from 1984 


now 


and 


opinion, are 
people 
in conta 


159 


PLAYBOY 


160 


WITNESS (continued from page 79) 


a hell of a lot smarter.” 
‘Sure, Pa," I said. "Go tell that to 
some of the old-timers and they'll lock 
you up." I arched my shoulders and 
stretched. “Let's go up,” I said. “Maybe 
you cin get a couple of hours’ sleep 
before the kid gets up.” 

“You go ahead,” he said, “and I'll be 
along in a minute. ГИ just rinse the cups 
and make the kitchen look nice for Ethel 
when she comes down." 

He stopped me when I reached 
stairs. "Don't forget the kid's birthday 
tty,” he said, and all the love and de- 
votion he felt for Alex was in his warm 
wink of anticipation. "Tonight is the 
night. 

1 stopped for a moment in Alex’ room. 
He was asleep in his crib, looking like 
some kind of dark-haired angel. He was 
quick and bright and a joy to be near. 1 
spoiled him a little, but Pa was worse 
than me. When Ethel cracked Alex 
across the behind for something he had 
done wrong, Е 
could not bear to hi 

In the bathroom I stripped. and shiv- 
ered as Î washed. T went quickly into the 
bedroom and slid carefully between the 
sheets. Ethel stirred beside me and I 
kissed her soft warm cheek, She moved 


ft the room because he 
r the 


id сту. 


gently against me, warming my body 
with her own, until Г stopped shivering 
and fell asleep. 

woke me a little before one. His 
was to creep softly into the room 


and climb up on the bed. If this wasn't 
enough to wake me, he would bring his 
mouth to my car and, like a puppy, 
begin nibbling at my lobe. 

ing 10 the boy's 


There was a joy in w 
great brown eyes and clean 
would hug and tickle 
in delight. 
Afterward I showered dressed 
and went downstairs hungry. 1 kissed 
Ethel, standing before the stove, and 
gently stroked her swollen litte belly 


and 


that pressed up apron. 
1 said 
cheerfully. 
nything else?” 
"Egg 
d a cook,” I said. 
get what we deserve,” she said. 
“My mother used 10 hel, marry a 


rich man and keep off your fee 
“You didn't get that lite belly stand- 
ing up," I said. She took a swipe at 


me with her dish towel and we both 
laughed. 
Alex came into the kitchen with cooki 


crumbs around his mouth and w 


“I remember when the only thing he was 
against was boiled carrots!" 


another one. Ethel told him no and I 
winked at him and slipped him а choco 
с chip from the jar. He ran out of the 
tehen with his prize 

“Its his birthday." I said. 

You spoil him worse than Pa," she 
shook her head. 


"Where is the old m 
She motioned toward the back 
and the garage. “With Orchowski," she 
said quietly. 
l sat down at the table and she 
brought me the potato pancakes and 


several slices of sharp 

"They should play in the house,” I 
. "Find a place somewhere in the 
house. That small heater doesn't keep 
the garage nearly warm enough." 

She stared at me silently. I ate slowly, 
without looking up from my plate. We 
had covered this same ground often be- 
fore. I kept bringing it up, even when 1 
knew what she would say. 

“Mike,” she said wea 
what's the use of talki 

“I know, honey,” I said. “But he's not 
well.” 

She made a helpless gesture with her 

ds. In that moment I realized how 
much of her day was spent in the kitch- 
en cooking for us, washing the dishes, 
ironing the clothes. The potato pancakes 
stuck 


ly “Mike, 


id, and she spoke 
у. "I want to do right, but I want to 

too. Why don't they play 
in Orchowski’s house?” 

"You know why," I said. "His son-in- 
Jaw doesn’t like his cigars or his beer. 
They don't have a child like we do,” 
she said. “When they play inside here 1 
can’t keep Alex out of their room. Pa 
hasn't got the heart to lock him out. 1 
don't mind Orchowski’s ci 
they smell in the house, but I mind the 
ng and the cursing. Honest to 
Mike, you've heard them 
уте roosters with cut claws now,” 
I said, feeling my cheeks hot. “АП they 
can do i» swear and holler.” 

I know that" she s 
"But curses and hollering 
bring up a child." She tw 
towel uselessly in finge 
neighborhood is bad enough," she 
"They call it the bush and laugh at the 
number of bars. When Alex grows older 
he will need all the strength we can. pro 
vide him now, all the decency we 
give him now.” 

“АП right," I said. “All right, for God's 
sake, Ethel, let it alone.” There was a 
senseless anger in my throat, because 1 
felt she was right. 

She came over and stood for a sil 
moment beside my cha 
head against her brea 
her apron. 
she said genul il 
soft fingers rubbed my neck in a sooth 
ing caress. "Eat your food before it 
gets cold.” 


s, how bad 


can 


nd smelled the 


nd her s 


{ate а little more and left the table. I 
called Alex and got him ready for a 
walk. He rolled on the floor while I tried 
10 pull on his leggings. I crouched above 
him and he pressed his tiny hands 
against my chest, begging me to crush 
him. My chest dipped aga 
and he squealed with fear and deli 
got up and slipped on my jacket and tied 
а mulller around his throat. 

In the yard the ground felt cold and 
hard beneath my fecr. The dark gabled 
roofs of the mill loomed at the end of 
the block, throwing а shadow across the 
lr dosely side by side, The 
rang through 


houses b 
shrill whistle of a crane 
the clear cold air. 

We walked into the garage and Pa and 
Orchowski were bent over their chec 
board on a small table. Even though the 
small oil stove in the corner glowed with 
a steady Пате, Ра wore his coat and had 
а wool scarf wrapped around his throat 
Ordiowski was diessed in a sweater and 
jacket and а pilot's cap with the flaps 
pulled down over his big shapeless cars. 

Alex broke from my hand and made a 
dash for Pa, tumbling into his lap. Or- 
chowski grabbed the board and held it 
aloft while Pa wrestled with the kid. 
“If it ain't the steel man.” Orchowski 
smirked between his pitted checks. He 
was a bull of an old man, a roller and 
turn foreman in the old days, and a te 
ror on Saturday ell me, steel 


man,” he said. “You still picki 
slabs with bare hands and sw 
the crane like Tarzan?” 
"Leave the boy alone, you bastard 
Pa said. "Today they make steel with 
their heads, not their backs like we used. 


ig up hor 
ging on 


to do." 
“I know," Orchowski sneered. “Sure, 
sure.” He scratched his nose. "Play 


checkers. You're losing and you're trying 
10 turn over the goddamn board." 
The kid listened to them intently and 
I remembered what Ethel had said. 1 
ood there a moment and shivered in 
the chill of the garage 
"Why don't you guys play inside? 
burst out, “This place is an icebox,” 
Orchowski and Pa looked at me. 
Alex stopped wiggling between Pa 


5 legs 
and stared up at me as if he understood 


I had said something foolish. Orchowski 
looked at me with that smirk cracking 
his lips "Then he turned back to the 
board and waved impatiently to Pa to 
move. 

Pa kept watching me with concern. 
“This is fine, Mike.” He shook his head at 
me, slowly at first. then faster and begin- 
ning to grin. "Teddy and me like it fine 
out here.” 

For a moment Orchowski did not look 
up. Then he seemed 10 feel the waiting 
in the silence and raised his head. Some- 
thing in Pa's cheeks must have stung 
him. 


growled. "Out here we can 
Then he slapped his leg with his fist. 
“You gonna play checkers!" he yelled 
Pa. "If you don't make a move I'm 
gonna go get à goddamn beer!” 
"Shut up. you bastard!” Pa 
You're a poor loser and a scab!" 
I took Alex by the hand and we left 
the garage. We stood outside in the yard 
and the shifts had changed and the mill- 
men walked past our fence, Some called 
greetings to us and some walked tired 
nd silent with their heads bent against 
the cold. After a while Alex told me he 
was getting cold and I took him into the 
house. 


cried. 


After supper that night, while Ethel 
decorated the cake, I took. Alex upstairs 
and put him into the tub. While I soaped 
and rinsed him with the spray. Pa sat on 
the laundry hamper and laughed as he 
tched him splash. When I lifted hi 
dripping out of the tub, Pa caught him 
a big towel and began to rub him gently 
dry. Then he carried him into the bed- 
room and they tussled on the bed while 
Alex screamed. 
got to dress him, Pa," I said. 

"OK," Pa said, and he gave Alex a soft 
final swat across the fanny. "РИ go down 
and give Ethel a hand.” 

I finished dressing Alex 
his hair. He was a handsome boy w 


nd combed 
th 


IMPORTED RARE SCOTCH 


161 


PLAYBOY 


162 


Ethel’s fine features. I looked at him 
with pride and love, thinking of him 
as a part of my flesh. 

Ethel came upstairs and she smelled 
from the warm and fragrant kitchen, She 
gave Alex a kiss and waited until he left 
the room. When she turned to me there 
were bright spots in her checks and a 
weariness around her mouth. 

“Mike,” she said, “Pa wants to dec- 
orate the dining room and he's making a 
mess of it. I told bim Blanche was bring- 
а few Japanese lanterns to put over 
the lights, but he's found some old faded 
crepe paper in the basement.” She 
paused a moment, with her chee! с, 
and moved her fingers to tug helplessly 
at her apron. “I hate myself," she said, 
nd she spoke softly, almost in a whisper. 
e myself every time I complain. 
and 1 want him to 
know this is his house, too. But I 
help myself.” Her eyes became red 
could see her trying hard not to cry. 

“TU tell him "ll tell him I 
nt to fix it a certain. way. 

She shook her head, sorry suddenly 
that she had come upstairs, sorry that 
she had spoken. "Let him alone,” she 
said. "Don't tell him anything. Don’t 
make me feel more ashamed than I am 
already 

“И he would take а walk,” 1 said, “up 
to the corner or over to Orchowski's for a 
half hour, we could finish decorating the 
way you want.” I paused. "Orchowski is 
coming to the party, isn't he? You told 
Pa to ask him, didn't you?” 

I could see the misery wor 
her cheeks. Then it was my turn to feel 
ashamed, becuse T was glad she had 
not invited Orchowski, not for any other 
reason but that he made Pa seem worse 
than he w 

We did not speak again. There didn't 
seem to be anything either of us could 
say. I started down the stairs and Ра 
waited for me at the bottom. 1 muttered 
something about turning the thermostat 
higher to warm the house 

Ts Ethel all right?” he asked. I looked. 
away, because he seemed to sense quick 
when something was wrong. 
he's got a little headache,” I said. 
He turned and 1 looked down 


ny 
He's got no one but 


on his gray-haired and strong head and 
the slight slump that rounded his big 


shoulders. 

“If you think Ethel won't be needing 
me for anything special,” he said, “I 
might take a little walk. Maybe there's 
something she wants from the store.” He 
had to pass me to reach into the closet 
for his coat. I looked at him closely, but 
he only smiled. 

“That's OK, Р; 


I said. “ГИ sce И she 
needs anything.” I called up to Ethel 
and knew that she was standing silently 
the landing at the top of the stairs. 
or a long moment she did not answer, 
as if she were trying to compose her 
voice. 


No,” she said, “but tell Pa to hurry 
- He's sitting next to Alex at Ше 
head of the tabl 

Pa tugged on his coat and walked to 
the door and closed it behind him. 

In about an hour the dozen or so 
guests for the party arrived. Ethel's 
sister, Blanche, had come from the 
h Side with her husband, who was 
nce executive. He kept walking, 
fing the house. There were a 
couple of women Ethel had once taught 
school with and a couple of the tur 
foremen with their 
come back. 

We waited a while Jonger and Ethel 
passed around some more cheese and 
crackers and Г opened some more beer. 
Everybody was getting restless. Alex, 
becoming impatient, began to whine. I 
went next door finally, to Max” place, and 
asked to use their phone. I called the 
Burley Club. but the bartender hadn't 
seen Pa. 1 called Orchowski's brother.in: 

s house, but no one answered. On 
y back | peered into the garage, 
but it was dark. 

In the house I told Ейс to cut the 
cake. Alex was crabby and didn't want 
» blow out the candles. The insurance 
xecutive and Blanche had bought him a 
? dump truck and he didn't want to 
even open the other presents. I was an 
ery and suddenly sick with worry about 
ing might have Вар: 
to the kitchen to 
other pint of ice crcam and when I 
got back to the dining room everything 


wives. Pa had not 


Was st 


ngely qu 

Pa stood in the front hallway. His hair 
was mussed, his collar unbuttoned, and 
his eyes were bright and glistening in his 
face. Orchowski, an idiors grin on his 
pitted cheeks, stood behind him. "Ihe 
stink of whiskey covered them both like 
a doud and fell aaes them into the 
room. 

1 looked once at Ethel and her checks 
were the color of chalk. Pa took a step 
forward and stumbled and then braced 
himself against the doorway of the room. 

He swept his arm up recklessly in a 
swing that included everybody in the 
тоот. He kept staring at all of us and 
then he fumbled behind him, catching 
Orchowski by the coat and tugging him 
forward. 

“I brought my goddamn friend home 
for the party,” Pa said, and the words 
came slurred and thick from his tongue. 
“My goddamn friend who worked with 
me at the plate mill for thirty-six years.” 

у s Orchowski 5 
swaying and grinning beside him. 
lex yelped then for his grandpa and 
one of the foremen laughed and walked 
forward to greet them. Ethel moved then 
and smiled across the p 
checks, I helped Pa off with h 
Ethel took Orchowski's jacket, and for a 
moment in the closet I felt her hand, 


cold and trembling against my own. 
short while later I got Pa upstairs 
helped him undress. Не was sober- 
his eyes suddenly blurred and melt 
and he kept mumbling under his 
th. When he was under the covers, I 
at down on the edge of the bed near his 
head. I heard the last of the guests say- 
ing good night and the door dosed for 
the last time. Ethel brought the kid up- 
stairs and put him to bed. All the while, 
the old man lay there with his eyes wide 


open, staring up at the ceiling. 
Ethel came into the room. She stood 
for just a moment inside the door and 


then she walked to the bed and leaned 
down and put her check against Раз 
che 

“Its all right, Ра 


she said. and she 
was aying, the tears running silently 
down her cheeks. “It’s all right and I'm 
glad you brought Mr. Orchowski.” 

Pa touched her check with his fingers 
and moved his lips without making any 
sound. He touched her check that was 
wet with tears, in а kind of caress, and 
tried to smile to reassure her, and then 
tumed his head helplessly to the wall. I 
motioned to Ethel to leave the room. 

I sat for a while longer beside him. He 
twisted and threshed beneath the blankets. 
was drunk,” he said. "Honest to 
God, boy, if I hadn't been loaded 1 


wouldn't have come in like a goddamn 
fool. 1 wouldn't have hurt Ethel 
that. 

“Let it alone, Pa," I said. "What are 


you mak 
Ethel 
wrong." 

But he would not be comforted. He 
would lie still for a few moments with 
his eyes closed and 1 thought he had 
fallen asleep. Then he seemed to startle 
ad his fingers moved in restless 
ngs along the spread. 

I got scared and left the room and 
called the doctor, He came and gave Pa 
а shot. After a while Pa fell asleep, his 
rough breathing eased and. quieted. 

It was not very long after that night, 
only a couple of months later at the be- 
ginning of summer, that the old man 
died. In May we sowed a bed of colum- 
bines and Pa talked of seeing them flow 
and just a few days after that he wa: 
dead. 

When he died he had been in the hos 
pital two days with a hard and heavy 
pain in his chest. The second night a 
blood clot formed and he died in his 
sleep. We had seen him early in the 
afternoon of that day, and when they 
called us back to the hospital, ай I re 
member noticing was how really thin 
wrists had become, how slim and p: 
his strong fingers were. 

We buried him three da 
old rollers and tur 
still alive сите, and 
from my turn. It ra 


ag such a big thing of it for 
id it ] right. We were 


was 


е 


later, The 
foremen who were 
bunch of the men 
ined a little on our 


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163 


PLAYBOY 


164 


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way to the cemetery, the drops р 
on the bankings of flowers around the 
grave. Ethel cried a lot and she was near 
enough her time for giving birth that 1 
was scared for her and for the baby. 

On the way ош of the cemetery 1 saw 
Orchowski. He was dressed in a baggy 
gray suit, a stiff collar around his broad 
throat. I wanted to talk to him a few mo 
ments, there beside the old m 
but someone took my arm and I lost him. 

We stopped on the way home to pick 
up Alex from Mrs. Feldman, who had 
looked alter him. The rest of the way, 
Alex between us in the car, Ethel and 1 
didn't speak. 1 parked the car and car 
ried the Kid into the house because of 
the puddles that still gleamed in the gut 
ters and made small pools along the side 
of the walks. 

The house was damp and quiet I 
turned on some lights and put up the 
heat. Ethel came in behind me and we 
stood like that for moments, listening as 


"s grave, 


if there were sounds and noises we 
expected to hi 
m tired,” Ethel said. "Ive got a 


headache. ТЇЇ get Alex ready for bed and 
go to bed myself.” 

“ГП bring him up in a minute,” I said. 
“Let him play for a while.” 

She stood in the hall and slipped off 
her coat and the jacket of her suit. The 
light fell across her body and I could sce 
the great swell of her bel 
bored movement of her 
me watching her and сате ind 
kissed me on the cheek. I held her close 
in the circle of my arm. 

“We tried,” she said, and there was a 
thin tight edge to her voice, and she 
looked at me out of her weary and swol- 
len eyes. "We did w we could for 
him, didn't we, Mike? Didn't we?" 

I remembered the night of Alex’ birth- 
day and the way she cried the 
cheek. 
^ 1 said. "Sure, baby, you did.” 

I sat for back room 
watching Alex play with his toy cars on 


. the slow 


rms. She s: 
over 


against 


a while in the 


the floor. Outside, the cars passed in the 
twilight and from the mill I hea 
whistling of the slab-mill crane. 

I listened to the kid humming a fool- 
ish song as he played. I thought sudden- 
ly of Ethel dead, someday, like my ma 
and me having to live with the kid and 
his wife. 

I got up and went into the kitchen 
Through the window, night had fallen 
over the back yard. A few fireflies flick- 
ered over the garden. The outline of the 
garage loomed silent and dark against 
the lighter sky. I moved to the sink, feel 
ing a tightness breaking in my throat. 

When I began to ay, the water run- 
ning so the kid would not hear, I didn't 
know for a few moments who 1 
was really crying for—the lost old man 


or myself. 
a 


rd the 


crazy 


EXECUTIVE SALARIES 


ай: ally, and this often эссп» of 
major importance, the nature of the 
enterprise. If the company's affairs tend 
to be rather static, relatively unchalleng. 
ing or subject to outside controls, the 
pay tends to be low. On the other 
hand, if a highly competitive, beatlast- 
year, shoot-the-works-on-advertising, go- 
for-broke spirit prevails, rewards for good 
performance tend to be extra gencrous. 

A leading executive recruiter, E. R. 
Hergenrather of Los Angeles, recently 
conferred with four top executives in 
the West and advises that their gener 
impression was that leaders in industries 
such as cosmetics, where a great share of 
the selling price is spent in promoting 
the product. tend to be paid more than 
executives who work in less promotion- 
minded industries. 

In industries where there is a consid- 
erable amount of Government regula- 
tion or supervision, pay tends to be 
depressed. This includes such indu 
as utilities, railroads, banks and 
ance. There isa feeling that many of the 
really crucial decisions affecting the com 
panies ате made outside, by supervisory 
agencies. This helps explain why the 
utility that is the giant of 
corporate giants in assets, А. T. & T., pays 
chairman Frederick Kappel а seemingly 
modest $304,600. Iu contrast, Interna- 
tional Telephone and Telegraph, which 
is primarily engaged in manufacturing 
communications equipment. and which 
operates in many countries, felt free to 


insur- 


(continued from page 86) 


pay its chairman and president, Harold S. 
Geneen, $395,600, even though its assets 
were only one sixteenth of A. T. & T.'s. 

Also, the more competitive and vola 
tile the industry, the more likely is a 
sizable spread between the salary of the 
man at the top and those of his various 
vice-presidents. This is especially true of 
middlesized companies. If the president 
of a volatile company receives 5100.000 
in pay, then his executive vice-president 
is more likely to earn $65,000 than 
$70,000 or 575.000. 

It is often contended that it is decep- 
tive to cite $100,000 to $800,000 remu 
nerations paid to the princes of free 
enterprise, because the Federal Govern- 
ment takes most of it away in taxes. That 
ds truc to Some cxccui 
have contended that, after a certain point, 
Getting more money is not a prime 
incentive, because of the And 
many of the proxy statements defensively 
show an estimate of each top executive's 
pay after taxes. 

But despite the shrin aused by 
taxes, executives will still concede that it 
is important that their money “label” be 
right. If they are to keep face while con- 
with fellow tycoons, they want 
the proxy statements to show they arc 
wearing the right label, which should be 
up in the six figures 

The tax bite has never been a 
vere as executive groaning would m 
it seem, at least for most of them. During 


exter 


taxes. 


WAGE VS. AGE: HOW THREE ECHELONS FARE 


ANNUAL 
INCOME 


$50,000 


r 


THE 
TOP-DRAWER MAN 
WAY UP 


THE MAN WHO 
REACHES MIDDLE 
MANAGEMENT 


WHITE COLLAR 


the late Fifties and early Sixties, a vast 
amount of business ingenuity went into 
developing "compensation packages” 
that were designed to protect an execu- 
tive from having his earnings eroded by 
taxes. One executive recruiter boasted of 
ing 26 “shelter plans” to choose from 
for men he placed in high-level jobs. 
These included a variety of deferred- 
compensation plans, stock options, etc 

А more important reason the tax 
burden has become less severe is that the 
Revenue Act of 1964 greatly cased the tax 
on higher incomes (considerably moi 
than on low incomes). The much-decri 
91-percent tax bracket is no longer with 
The worst that even a highssix-figure 
automobile tycoon without any shelters 
whatever could expect on his 1965 income 
is а tax of somewhere between 65 and 
70 percent. Here, for example, is how 
the Federal income tax for a man with 
а taxable income of $300,000 has 
changed between 1963 and 1965 in terms 
of what he can keep, assuming he is 
married and files a joint returi 


1 


AMOUNT REMAINING AFTER TAX 


BRE а ксле SWORE 
1964 . Core $104,820 
1965 9119020 


In short, а тап with а taxable income 
of $300,000 can keep nearly $43,000 more 
of his 1965 income than he could have 
kept in 1963. And the man with a tay 
able income of $100,000 can now expect 
that по more than 45 percent of his carn- 
ings will go to pay his Federal income 
taxes, if he is married. 

Bachelors who е а substantial 
income from their jobs still find the Fed- 
ста! лах enormously depleting. even at 
the 525.000 level. One bachelor with 
promising job that was paying $27,000 
quit to get off a payroll and cstablish 
his business. The bachelor dis- 
covered that about 60 percent of cach 
ditional dollar he could e: 
job would go to taxes. 

One result of the охе 
tax ds that executives no longer as 
fascinated with stock options, deferred- 
compensation plans, etc; and they now 
increasingly want to get a larger portion 
of their compensation package in cash. 

This does not mean they have com- 
pletely lost interest in some of the 
perquisites of executive life, such ак 
company-paid $100,000 life-insurance pol- 
icies, generous expense accounts, free trips 
to a spa for a leisurely medical check-up 
between daily golfing matches, and ar- 
provide comfort afte 
retirement. (When the new chairman of 
Gulf Oil Corpoi mately теше», 
he will 1,000 а 
y 
of his life n of 
Schenley was assured in the 1965 proxy 
statement that he would never be fully 


own 


n from a 


1 easing of the 


tion 


estimated. 5 


receive 


The reti: 


165 


PLAYBOY 


166 


retired unless he desired, since there 
would always be advisory and consulting 
services to perform for the company. at 
$150,000 а year.) One expert estimates 
that extras beyond cash compensation 
are likely to add 30 to 50 percent to the 
value of the average top executive's com- 
pensation package. 
Though the попі 
of office are becomi 
ge com 


ncial perquisites 
ng of less interest in 
nies, the top man still may 
want his own private dining room with 
chef, his plane and car with chauffeur, 
and his sumptuous suite when business 
calls him to Washington or New York 

Some people may ask whether top 
U.S. busines executives are worth all 
the six-figure incomes that are awarded 
to them. What do they do to earn ай that 
money? 

"The good ones work far longer hows 
than most of us. The executives in great- 
est demand today are the rare general- 
ists who enjoy taking charge of very 
different projets one after another. 
They are coordinators of far-flung and 
widely diversified operations and proba- 
bly have picked up a good deal of in- 
sight about operating in Ше world 
market. A major factor contributing to 
the selection of James M. Roche as presi. 
dent of General Motors ($688,000 for a 
start in 1965) apparently was that he h: 
been over 


а 
ing the company's interna- 
tional operations. 

The top executive now im most de- 


al is at сам: in turbulent situa 
is а capacity to generate enthu 
“ами for, and confidence in, the goals he 
feels are best Гог his company. A top 
1 also must often be willing to put 
his dedication to company above dedica- 
tion to family, be willing to be a team 
player and be gifted at it, to live in the 
expectation that he may not have his 


m 
and 


ions 


six-figure income and leather swivel chair 
with neck rest for very long. 
But are his contributions of а special 


kind that call for greater rewards than. 
are given to other leaders of large organ- 
izations? This is somewhat less than 
clear. Business executives in Europe 
rarely are paid the foreign equivalent of 
six-figure incomes, Arch Patton, ап ех 
pert on corporate compensation, points 
out that chief executives abroad tend to 
be paid about one half the compensation 
of their U.S. counterparts, These Гог. 
cign executives, on the other hand, often 
have more perquisites of office—such a 
Bentleys, yacht 
and company-paid domestic staffs—tha 
executives in the U.S. A. 

The puzzle about the worth of an e 
ссайусъ contribution deepens when we 
look at the compen s paid to execu: 
tives in Government, In terms of the 
physical assets and employees they must 
manage. their responsibilities often would 
seem to be far greater than those of the 
business executive, and yet their com- 
pensation is usually a fraction of that of 


. company-owned homes 
n 


а top business executive of a là 
even. mediumsized. company. 
When Robert McNama 
suaded to lea 
to become the U. 


was 


per- 
ve the presidency of Ford 


. Secretary of Defense, 
he left a job paying $410,000 a year to 
take one paying $25,000. And his Federal 
responsibilities in terms of expenditure 
may well be nine or ten times as great 
as they were at Ford. Furthermore, he 
must still pay taxes. Although he is now 
in a lower bracket, the income he can 
keep from his job as Defense Secretary 
comes to less than $20,000. 

Another executive who more recently 
the financial sacrifice of moving 


from private enterprise 10 Government 
is John T 


. Connor. He resigned as pres 
етк & Company, where hi 
compensation in 1964 was running at 
about 5250,000, to become U. S. Secretary 
of Commence at $25,000. His responsi- 
bilities as U.S. Secretary of Commerce 
nvolve а concern for the effective opera 
tion of all the corporations in the 
U.S. Or, to give a reverse example, 
Jack Valenti's salary leaped from $30,000 
5,000 when he left his job 
as special assistant to President Johnson 
to become head of the Motion Picune 
Association of America. 

The state governor is another top ex- 
ecutive in government who would seem 
to be underpaid for his responsibilities. 
The highest paid of the governors of the 
50 states in 1965 were those in New York 
($50,000), California ($44,100), Mas: 
chusetts, New Jersey and Pennsylvania 
($35,000). In the state of Michigan— 
where at least а dozen auto executives 
cach earned more than $500,000 а усаг 
—the governor, George Romney, was 
paid 530,000. Among the lowest-paid 
governors were those of Arkansas а 
North Dakota ($10,000). These figur 
of course, are their incomes before taxes. 

Business consultants rationalize such 
tively low pay by suggesting that 


rel 


public servants are more interested in 
“psychic” rewards. But recruiter Hergen- 
rather offers this explanation 


"Executives in private companies or 
industries are judged by company stock- 
holders on profits the company makes 
and by its growth. If things are going 
well, no one bothers much about execu- 
However, uni- 
presidents, Government. officials 
itary officers are running institu 
tions owned by the people, and "it is 


and mi 


very difficult for taxpayers to justify 
г 


salaries considerably higher than th 
own earnings or earning capabilities. 
In short, a philosophy of egalitarianism 
is, apparently, more likely to influence 
the pay of leaders in situations where the 
people have an effective vote, with power 
of protest ог veto. 

When the profits of Large corporations 
are in good shape, the only realistic limi- 
tations on the pay that top executive 
arrange for themselves, through their 


boards, are posible squawks from (1) 
disgruntled stockholders, (2) Government 
agencies with which the company must 
cope and (3) company employees who 
тау feel they aren't gening their share 
of the pic. 

Officers of large U. S. corporations can 
point out—and they often do—that they 
accumulate from compensation only a 
fraction of the ша! increment in 
wealth of some of our entrepreneurs in 
privately held enterprises, A Texas oil 
di; а discount-di а 
shoppingcenter builder 
ol a tanker fleet, if lucky and if he has a 
pidly expandi 
millions of doll 
And when he sells his holdings, the 
profits he makes will be subject to the 
relatively low tax on са 

The top с officers at General Mo- 
tors, who have cach been making morc 
than $500,000, might also argue that the 
company got a good bargain in 1965 for 
the approxim aid to 
them for their total 
remuneration amounted to less than one 
fourth of one percent of the company's 
net profits. 

What it all comes down to, apparent- 
ly, is a question of values, In a society 
where moncy-makiug ability is esteemed 
as much as и is in the United States, and 
where leaders remain among 
our foremost social models, six-figure 
comes will presumably continue to be 
demanded and obtained by the leaders 
of our large corporations. 

Perhaps the picture of compensation 
presented here raises philosophic que 


tions about whether we have gone too 


far from an egalitarian ideal. But if 
there is a serious hazard to our present 
society situation, the hazard is 
not simply that some leaders make high- 
six-figure incomes. Rather, the hazard is 
the fact that many leaders—in Govern 
ment, universities and other public 
service institutions—make low-five-figure 
comes; skilled natural leaders are not 
available in abundance. If most of the 
ple supply gravitates to the private 
amas where we ойег the greatest material 
rewards, then the leaders who will help 
us face the urgent social challenges of 
the coming years will have to be тезро 
sive to y motivation includ- 
ing the indubitable appeal of public 
notice, prestige and. power 

Meanwhile, most Americans will co 
tinue to be upward strivers in a largely 
dollardominated society. How we fare 
in various enterprises, at various ages, in 
various job Classifications, may be graph 
cally gauged from the table on page 7 

nd the chart on page 165. From them 
you should be able to measure yourself 
ainst your peers, foresee your earning 
potential and—if you are young 
mobile enough—select your prefer 
area of endeavor. 

a 


avail 


167 


PLAYBOY 


168 


THE FIRST NATIONAL 


figures that came to mind. "Remember 
1929?” Then I headed over to the parlor 
section of the board room to watch my 
first transactions appear on the Transl x 
screen. 


(continue 


Il investor like you,” he called 
“should stick to Government 


sm 
afier me, 
bonds. 
"Buy Imperial Russian Government 
Three-Year Credit six and a half percent 
of 1916," Г ordered from my shopping 
list. "And now that you're finally recom- 
mending things. do you have 
good in a Russian gold-mi 
an investor, ГІ 
no labor costs in the m 
“Well, what quantity are we talking 
about in the Imperial sixanda-halfs? 
he asked. "Onc-hundred, five-hundred or 
one-thou 
Bonds 
lor 
dialed Merrill 1 
order one lot's w 
my account. “I 
added. "I want to buy everything oi 
* The account executive p 
ned th 
$2000 in 


с sold in $1000 (par value) 


the customers: man explained. Не 
nch’s bond trader 


to 


t a customer had to put 
cash securities a 


up 
deposit to open a margin account. So I 
ordered a second thousand of Imperial 
ös to cover the margin requirements. 


or 


‘And while you have the trader on the 
phone, І want 10 buy а few other red 


ed from page 90) 


chips for my portfolio: Lithuanian Match 
Mc 
Greater Pi 
Hungari. прие Iron 
percent of 1805. City of 
cent Loan of 1914 and Hungaria 
erative Society Established for F 
Liquidation of Land Reform Extern. 
Sinking Fund 515 percent of 1929.7 
My thinking 
of Lithuanian bu: 
business, Latvian busi 
an business was 
once predicted about the future for с 
talists in Russia, “The rich will get richer 
and the poor will get poorer.” But I 
wasn't so naive an investor io bank on 
anything Marx said. The Communist 
world had 
what he said 


out owning a share 
ss, Czechoslovakian 


ready split two for one on 
bout coexistence with the 
West. By diversifying my portfolio with 
securities from all the Ion Curtain coun 
tries, including Cuba and China, no fu 
ture ideological conflict would be a total 
loss 10 me as ап investor. 
But my customers! man 
down the phone 


slammed 
ecciver on из cradle. 
That's he hissed ап overheated 
smova 'm closing your account. It's 
for your own protection. You're going to 
lose your shirt.” 

“Your fears are premature," I said. 
“You haven't bought anything for me 
yet. But you did take my orders; com 


mision them. And be sure to check the 
latest quotes on the Imperial six-and- 
halfs. The price might have gone up. 
When he insisted it was bad business for 
Merrill Lynch to get involved in this 
kind of action, 1 began to suspect the 
on's largest brokerage house had a 
Trotskyite on its sales force. 

aded to sec one of Merrill 
91 vice-presidents, preferably 
one who wasn't soft on communism. He 
brought Ше branch manager instead. 
de told me to take my czarist 
speculations elsewhere. "Never sell the 
czar short partly 
by emotion and p; ton 


me from the premises 

L followed the manager's advice апу 
. by taking my business to another 
of Merrill Lynchs 165 brandi 
offices, There. а militantly anti-Commu 
nist account executive bought for my ac 
count S1000 worth of Imperial 6 
The price was $30. I immediately regi 
tered with the State Department as an 
imperialist agent. 
“Our foreign policy calls for tra 
ih Ше Communists,” 1 wrote Di 
п Washingtoi 


К 


Rusk 


^ who want to overthrow the 
ing economic system in the Soviet 
Union—can 1 be prosecuted. under the 
Trading with the Enemy 

State's Office of the Legal 


Advisor 


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answered, “Transactions with either the 
0.5.5. К. or opponents of Ше present 
government аге outside the scope of the 
act.” But I was warned not to buy North 
Vietnam or Chinese securities. 

Before increasing my holdings further, 
as a technical student of the market it 
was natural that I turn to ап investment 
consultant for some advice. I found a 
fortuneteller listed in the yellow pages of 
the phone book. “Many businessmen 
consult me about their investment. prob. 
lems," Madam Sorina said. “But I'm in a 
conference now. You'll have t0 make ап 
appoi 
I have to see you belore the market 
closes,” 1 said. "Money is no object.” She 
told me to come right over. 

The investment counselor was а dark- 
haired, beautiful career woman in her 
late 20s, She was sitting in the executive 
suite of a storefront оћсе on West 30th 
Street, reading The Wall Street. Journal 
by candlelight. “Are you Madam Sori 
na?” I asked, taking out my list of 
planned purchases. 

No.” she said in a thick Mitteleuropa 
accent. “Madam Sorina had to leave 
town unexpectedly.” 

“Bur 1 just made an appointment with 
her to discuss my portfolio.” 

“1 am qualified for this work," she 
said. "Sorina taught me everything she 
knows." 

Are you her daughtc 


is Marie. 
The investment counselor 
playing a game that looked like T 
vanian solitaire on her desk, a low tea 
ble next to a couch. “The cards say 
you are being followed by a myste 
rious blonde woman," she said, readir 


three cards. "You are very attractive to 
women . 
"Who told you that 
"God gave me my psychic powers.” 
“Look, I didnt come all the way up 
here from Wall Street то discuss my pri 
* Since she already had prove 
Шу, however, Т pave her the 
big question. "What do you recommend 
I buy next? 
Her brows knitted in. concentration, 
she played another hand with the cards. 
It was so quiet in the suite you could 
hear the market drop. “The cards say,” 
she whispered. “buy Government bonds 
—a sound investment market 
“Will I become rich in the market? 


today’ 


І asked. 

Five minutes later, she answered: 
The cards say ‘maybe. " I frowned 
“The cards never lie” she added. 1 


offered to pay her a little ехо 
more bullish pred 
cial “The 
speaking,” she said. “Please. Five dollars. 

“How would you like to make some 
really big money?" I said, "Tl give 
you a bond from my portfolio. You put it 
inside a chicken and double or triple my 


future cards have 


investment. Then we'll split seventy- 
thirty.” That was а financial trick man 
gypsy fortunetellers daim they can per- 


form with their clients’ valuables, But 
Madam Marie refused to handle my 
securities, because she didn't have 


brokers’ license 

Cheered by the prediction that pros- 
perity might be around the corner, I 
plunged back into the market, this time 
giving my business to a Wall Street 
brokerage house specializing in East Eu- 
ropean securities. Carl. Marks and. Com- 
pany eal directly with the 
public, but І managed to get inside with 
an introduction from Friedrich Engels. 
А sympathetic Marks executive found 
many of the mustbuy issues on my list 
at the bottom of the worthlessbond 
vault. At the end of frantic trading that 
week, my portfolio contained the follow- 
ing new securities: 

RAILROADS: ë Grand Russian, Trans- 
Caspian and EastUral; Trans-Caucasian 
Railroad 3 percent of 1879: Austro-Hun- 
garian Empire Staats Eiscnbahn-Gescll- 
schaft 314 percent of 1869; and Budapest 
Subway 4 percent of 1897. 

INDUSTRIALS: Wun 


doesnt di 


۷ 


aggon-und 


Maschinenbau Aktiengesellschaft Görlitz 
(Eas Germany); Galicia-Carpathian Oil 
Company (Poland); Cuban Cane Prod. 
ucts Company 20-Year Gold Deben 
tures of 1931; and Guantinamo Sugar 


Russian Gov- 
Short-Term War Loan 514 
percent of 1916; Lithuanian Liberty 
Loan of 1920; and Roumanie Tabac 
Monopoly 41/4 percent of 1937. 

MUNICIPALS: City of Odesa Electric 
Works 414 percent of 1917; City of 
Kershon (0.5.5. В.) Sewer Development 
Authority 414 percent of 1917; and Gity 
of Bucharest 5 percent of 1888. 

The prices at which I bought ranged 
from $1.50 to 53, the most costly issue 
being Guantinamo Sugar, an especially 
attractive security for the long haul. I 
the U.S. planned to destroy the market 
for Cuban sugar, they would have done 
it a long time ago by implementing 
CIA's scheme for bringing Са 
knees: flooding the world marker with 
surplus synthetic sugar substitutes, thus 
creating а taste for saccharin. 

The next few weeks I was busy man 
aging my portfolio in a businesslike 


ernment 


stro to his 


169 


PLAYBOY 


170 


manner. I sent registered letters to each 
of my companies, announcing the change 
n ownership of their bonds and stocks. 
"The previous owners "of bond No. 
396901," I reported to the chairman of 
the board of Galicia-Carpathian Oil 
Company, “claim they have not been 
receiving annual statements lately, Every 
body in New Jersey knows of Galicianas’ 
reputation for honesty, but 1 suggest you 
look into this oversight. It will firm up 
the market for our company's securitie 
I also used what little influence I had 
in Washington to help solve a small 
problem at Trans-Siberian. | appealed as 
Army veteran to Defense Secre- 
ara that he omit my railroad. 

ay a target in ture plan to escalate 
the Vietnam peace effort. His job 
protect American businessmen's interests 
abroad, I explained, not to bomb them. 
Let Russia's agents in the Pentagon 
report me to Moscow as another Lord 
Russell, I sent a carbon copy of my Me 
Namara letter to the Corporate Relations 
Department of the Ministry of Railroads, 
the announcing that I 
would be for the Tra 
Siberian board of directors in the next 
free elec don't want to seem like 
I'm telling you how to run the railroad," I 
added, "but what is current management 
doing to profit from the increasing rate 
of alcoholism in the Soviet Union? 
Couldn't we make a few kopecks by 
adding bar cars (0 our commuter trains? 
Just because 1 was now what есопо 
mists at the Jay Gould School of 
in Volgograd called a “millio: 
alist whose holdings added 
оп rubles, zlorys, florins, 


to 


up toa 
koruny, pesos. lei and Deutsche m; 
worth of securities—I didn't rest on my 
laurels. 1 soon found myself uying to 


ina 


ise the value of my portfolio by 
pipulating the market. 

I paid a business call to an agency 
whose primary function, many of its 
citis had been saying, is to promote 
capitalism behind the Iron Curtain. The 
receptionist at Radio Есе Europe head- 
quarters оп Park Avenue immediately 
summoned a май economist as soon as Г 
showed her some of my bonds. The 
Hung émigré studied the pieces in 
my portfolio for a long while. He mist 
enly thought 1 had come to him for ad- 
vice, "Sell." he said in broken English. 

"But wouldn't it give encouragement 
to the enslaved peoples behind the Iron 

n to know that an Ameri 
vesting in their futur 

“It would be good news.” he said. 
“The majority of people over there are 
anti-Communist.” 

Well, is there anything 
iles against your plugging some of my 
securities on one of your big-business 
shows, prelei g the prime 
tening time 2 Once the cap- 
tive peoples hh in 
Galicia-Carpathian Oil, the price would 
go up on the underground Prague Stock 
Exchange. And be sure 10 mention that 
my company still has offshore drilling 
rights in the Black Sea." 

The dollar-fed, revand 
emigré didn't seem to understand ihe 
principle of plugola. So 1 dipped a cou 
pon from the € n bond 
nd handed it (o him, murmuring that it 
was a little something for his trouble. He 
thanked me politely. “It's nothing,” I 
said, just as politely. 

He finally said, “Ahhh, you are talking 
about buying a commercial. You want to 
advertise your stocks and bonds.” 

1 took back the coupon and asked to see 


tw 


in the FC 


“We can definitely rule out an inferiority 


ра 


соп ех... ! 


ate card. In the 
id the Поп Cur- 
Cola and 


Radio Free. Furope's 
struggle for markets behi 
tain, he explained, both Coca 
Pepsi-Cola had already inquired about 
sponsoring programs to promote the 
products of their bottling plants in Bul 
4 Hungary. As soon as Radio Free 
urope’s director decided commerci 
would not affect the station's nonprofit 
educational status. he would call me. 
What I didn't tell the Hungarian, for 
fear he would steal my idea, is that 1 al- 
ready had decided to pyramid my hold- 
ings by using them as a nucleus fo 
mutual fund. It might be a crime against 
the state for enslaved peoples to ом 
ness, but. I was st 
по law against owning a share 
in my mutual fund, which would be sold 
under the counter to interested small in- 
vestors. 1 ly, everybody is a 
ist. For maximum sales appeal im the 
ds newly discovering the glories of 
ism. I named the fu 
National Fiduciary Imperialist 
syndicate Cartel Pool Combine.” 
Following is the long exchange of cor- 
respondence relevant то setting up a 
small business in the Sovict Union, 
ich I have sent along to the Secui 
nd Exel r approval 


Trust 


st Secretary of the fund, my first 
«t was to send out feelers to 
prominent executives who might be in- 
terested in aiding this high-minded е 
terprise. “Congratulations,” I wrote to 
Georgi Malenkov, c/o Personnel Office, 
the Kremlin, "You have been elected 10 
the board of directors of The First Na- 
tional Fiduciary Imperialist Trust Syndi 
tel Pool . Once your 
ides read about your new post in 
the world’s first mutual coexistence fund 
—a press release has been mailed to the 
financial editor of your hometown paper, 
Pravda—you may be asked a few qucs- 
tions. Here are some of the sales points: 
"Your mutual fund is an unbalanced 
open-end investment trust, whose shares 


ability to pay. Shares 
will be sold door to door. Is a knock at 
the door in the middle of the night 
elective way to get people in your s 
ory away from their TV sets? 1 look 
1 to discussing the hydroelectric 
plant busin 
of the Party 
to call it, the bondholders’ meeting. 

Similar invitations also went out to 
other men whose current jobs weren't 
fully wil their proven executive 
talents: Lazar Kaganovich, Vyacheslav 
M. Molotov, Nikolai Bulganin, Marshal 
Georgi Zhukov and Mrs. Nina Khru- 
shchey. As a special bonus incentive, all 
were invited to be my guests at the 
1 White Russian New Year's Ball at 
the Hotel Astor in New Yor! 

Not wanting anybody to think these 


s with you at the next session 
Marx meant 


8 


nu 


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172 


Bold new 
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By Faberge. 


If you have 
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men were guilty of plotting with the im- 
perialists, I explained everything in a 
covering letter to the public relations 
director of the NKVD at his office in Lu- 
bianka Prison, corner of Kirov Street and 
Dzhershinski Square, Moscow. “Since 
you've already read my letters,” I began, 
calming the NKVD man’s suspicions, 
“you must be curious to know more about 
. Laman ordinary legitimate American 
speculator currently engaged in rigging 
the foreign-securities market. In this so- 
dally useful work, it is necessary to offer 
bs and other valuable rewards in e 
change for cooperation. But these а 
the ordinary costs of doing business un- 
der the capitalist system, which your 
country invented. Are you available to 
become our mutual fund's public rela 
lions director? Incidentally, where do 
the commissars keep their yachts?" 

All of the Russians accepted the hon- 
t least, none of them said nyet. By 
not answering, they indicated they want 
ed to be silent partners. I next made sure 
the six Russians would always be the 
minority faction, or Mensheviks, by invi, 
ing seven Americans to act as the major 
ty, or Bolsheviks. The list of potential 
U.S. directors included а few leading 
ч ologists like Oleg and Igor Cas- 
„ Prince Serge Obolensky, Countess 
and Prince Radziw But it was 
also heavy with prominent antiCommu- 


nis military men, Retired generals 
traditionally welcome topmanagement 
positions, so I'm sure General LeMa 


General Wainwright and Ge 
will be amenable to a teleg ling: 
ELECTED, WILL YOU serve?” If they 


don't answer, the fund will draft them 
In identical letters to Aleksei Kosygin, 
First 


and Leonid Brezhnev, 
v's Central Com 


Premier, 
Secretary of the Par 
tee, the fund appealed for the monopoly 
concession in the Балое mutual 
fund business, Then I asked for som 
minor changes in the Soviet Union's po- 
litical structure. “Is there anything you 
can do about introducing а more peace- 
ful method of conducting your free elec 
tions? The Sov ity for violent 
change 
which tends to frighten American specu- 
lators and hurt our mutual fund. I know 
there is no unemployment in Russia, but 
when you step down because of 
health, would you be interested in 
sedentary posit age’ of my 
future estate in Russ 
I sent a routine note to the procurator- 
general (equivalent to the U.S. Attorney 
General) at the Ministry of Justice, Mos- 
cow: “Please send me copies of all the 
laws dealing with embezzlement, mail 
fraud and other economic crimes against 
the state. E fear my competitors will stop 
at nothing to drive me out of bu 
The bout in 
the bourgeois Western press are good— 
as far as they go. But they seem to be 
used discriminately against Jews. The 


ness. 
потам laws I have read 


Laws need stiffening. I plan to urge my 
representative in the Supreme Soviet— 
incidentally, who represents the Ameri- 
can imperialists?—to demand that the 

ws be amended to restrain all my 
competition, regardless of race, creed ог 
religion. In your reply, please give me as- 
surances The F nal duciary 


Combi 
rator general's E 
future date.” 

Once the mutual fund got off the 

ground, it would obviously have to re- 
vest in the Russian cconomy to protect 
interests. A Russian scholar at 
a University recommended that 
ct State Planning Commission 
. Dimshits. I wanted to write 
to Comrade Dimshits in his native lan- 
guage, but I knew how sensitive the 
Russians were about ethnic k 
grounds, “If the mutual fund's invest- 
ments would only affect the petty-cash 
column in the next Gosplan, landsman 
I finally wrote in English, “it wouldn't 
matter. Вш the fund is already in rail- 
roads, electricity and sewers. We also 
plan to buy into an electronics firm (one 
of those manufacturing the surveillance 
devices that are found in every Ameri 
can Government office), а red-tape facto- 
ry and a printing plant where dialectical 
matériels are processed. It would € 
hance your reputation as a sound eco 
nomic planner if you did not make any 
major investments in your next fi 
plan until you've checked with you 
coreligionist. 

"P. S. I could even triple the fund's in- 
vestments in the Soviet economy if you 
would use your influence at the state 
bank to help me hustle a loan. The bank 
still hasn't answered my request for a 
IL busi loan of 1,000,000 
imperial rubles. Can you ring them np 
and find out the reason for the dela 

I'm still waiting for his reply. 

Finally, however, on January 26, the 
Russian government recognized the mu 
tual fund. “In reply to all your letters of 
966," wrote the chief of the consu 
division, U.S.S. В. Embassy, in Wash- 
ington, "please be advised that foreigi 
loans, absolutely and. without exceptio 
re annulled, So your bonds are com 
pletely without value.” 
ns’ corporate double 
talk was the best news investors in Tron 
Curt ities had heard шоу 
Moscow was mouthing the Wall Street 
line. The future has never looked bright 
er for The First National Fiduciary Im- 
Trust Syndicate Cartel Pool 
пе. Naturally, there are still a few 
technical difficulties to be ironed out be- 
fore the fund's strategy will actually in- 
spire confidence, But if you want to get 
in on the ground Ноог of a good thing 
before total peace breaks out, now is the 


time to buy low. 


st at some 


с 
I coni 
Director 


ssman's 


EXPENSIVE PLACE TO ШЕ. (continued from page 105) 


White mist was rolling across the flat 


's the ticket.” He took oft his cap 
nd put it on the bed. His hair 
in a point. He lit his pipe. 

good to sce you," he said. His eyes were 
bright and his mouth firm, like а brush 


lesman sizing up a prospect. 
You've been making a fool of me" I 
complained. 


"Come, come, trim your yards, old 
boy. No question of that. No question of 
that at all. Thought you did well, actual- 
ly. Loiscau said you put in quite а plea 
for me.” Hc smiled again briefly, caught 
sight of himself in the mirror over the 
washbasin and pushed his disarranged 
hair into place. 

“1 told him you didi 
5 what you mean. 
Ah, well" he looked embarrassed. 
"Damned nice of you." He took the pipe 
from his mouth and searched around his 
teeth with his tongue. “Damned nice, 
bur to tell you the truth, old boy, I did.” 

1 must have looked surprised. 

"Shocking business, of course, but 
she'd opencd us right up. Every damned 
one of us. They got to her.” 

“With money?" 

'No, not money; a man." He put the 
pe into the ashtray. "She was vulner- 
able to men. Jean-Paul had her eating 
out of his hand. That's why they aren't 
ited to this sort of work, bless them. 
"Men were deceivers ever,’ ch? Gals get 
themselves involved, what? Still, who are 
we ro complain about that; wouldn't 
want them any other way myself. 

I didn't speak, so Byrd went on. 

“At first the whole plan was to fr: 
Kuang as some sort of Ori 
Ripper. To give us a chance to hold him, 
talk ro him, sentence him if necessry. 
But the plans changed. Plans often do; 
that's what gives us so much trouble, 


t kill the girl, if 


Jean-Paul won't give you any more 
trouble; he's dead." 


inge that, too: 
‘Come, come, don't be bitter. Still, 
know just how you feel. I mulled it, I'1 i 
admit. I intended it ıo be quick and 
clean and painless, but it's too late now 
to be sentimental or bitter." 
94. "IT you really killed the 
come you got out of prisor 
Setup job. French police. Gave 
Ik vo the Belgians. 
So they should be, 
with this damned boat these Chinese 
chappies have got anchored three miles 
out. Cant touch them legally, you sce. 
Pirate o station; think what it could 
do if the balloon went up. Doesn't bear 
thinking of. 
No. 1 see. What will happen?" 
zovernment level now, old chap. Out 
of the hands of blokes like you and me 
Не went to the window and stared 
across the mud and cabbage stumps. 


Look at that light,” sai 
at it. It's positively eth 
could pick it up and rap 
make you 


0 ‘Well, it does me. First of 
nter 
talk about at firs 
light falling on i 
no form, as I'm always saying; lights the 
only thing 


cesca, El G 
looking at the mist and tur 


he didn't stop looking at mc. 
no question, but he heard it just the ship. those 


thing just to have enough money Ku 
10 go on ра 

haps you wouldn't und 
an do to а person." 


Byrd 


ike а gas attack. 


Byrd. “Look 
eal, and yet you ship?” 
Doesn't it 
he to pick up a paintbrush?” 
4. 


15 


ll, а paint- here, bı 
ed in form: that’s all they 


painter should w 


glowi 


ig with pleasure. "Or rest of h 


He stopped talki 


ting is my Ше,” he said. "Fd K 


ng. It consumes 


“Га be careful if I were you, buddy—that’s 


the bartender s wife . 


He stopped them back. I 


stul 
: Turner most of all: take Turner brown envelope. 

g but “And you'll uy to мор her?" 
ked him “Not me, old boy. 


“I think I'm just beginning to,” I said. 
“Glad to hear it, 
: wn envelope out 
of his case and put it on the table. 
“You want me to take Kuang up to the 


ared me out. 
He took a bi 


But everything is the Фарр M jor Cha 


ughter—illegitimate—divided 
loyalties. Obsessed about these films of 
: Fran- her and Jean-Paul. Do anything to get 
ıt will usc that factor, mark 
ed back to my words. He'll use her to transport the 

' He ripped open the 


dossi y 
ag to Ostend, forget everything else. 
ag out to the ship. then we'll give 
He counted out 
ас me a Bel 


с. Per- you a spot of leave.” 
and what art some Belgian mone 
gian pres crd, a card of identification, 


Not my part of the 


173 


PLAYBOY 


14 


letter of credit and two phone numbers 
to ring in case of trouble. "Sign here,” he 
said. I signed the receipts. 

"Loiseau's pigeon, those dossiers,” he 
said. "Leave all that to him. Good fel- 
low, Loiseau.” 

Byrd kept moving like a flyweight i 
the first round. He picked up the re- 
ceipts, blew on them and waved them to 
dry the ink. 

“You used me, Byrd," 1 said. "You 
sent Hudson to me, complete with pre- 
fabricated hardluck story. You didn't 
bout blowing a hole in me as long 
the overall plan was OK." 

“London decided," Byrd corrected me 
gently. 

“All eight million of "ст? 

"Our department heads,” he said pa- 
tienüy. "I personally opposed it.” 

‘All over the world people are person- 
ly opposing things they t are bad, 
but they do them anyway, because a 
corporate decision can take the blame.” 

Byrd had half turned toward the w 
dow to see Ше mist. 

Т said, “The Nuremberg trials were 
held to decide that whether you work for 
Coca-Cola, Murder Inc. or ше Wehr- 
macht General Staff, you remain respon- 
sible for your own actions.” 

T must have missed that part of the 
Nuremberg trials,” said Byrd uncon 
cernedly. He put the receipts away in his 
wallet, picked up his hat and pipe and 
walked past me toward the door. 

"Well, let me jog your memory," I 
said as he came level, and I grabbed at 
his chest and tapped him gently with my 


сис 


Tc didn't hurt him, but it spoiled 
ity, and he backed away from 
me, smoothing his coat and pulling at 


the knot of his tie, which had disap- 
peared under his shirt colla 

Byrd had killed, perhaps many times. 
It leaves а blemish in the eyeballs, and 
Byrd had it. He passed his right hand 
round the back of his collar. I expected a 
throwing knife or a cheese wire to come 
‚ but he was merely straightening his 


You were too cynical,” said Byrd. “1 
should have expected. you to crack.” He 
stared ar mc. “Cynics are disappointed 
ics; they keep looking for some- 
one to admire and can never find any- 
one. You'll grow out of it.” 

“I don't want to grow out of it," I said. 

Byrd smiled grimly, He explored the 
skin where my hand had struck him. 
When he spoke, it was through hi 
fingers. "Nor did 
nodded and left. 

I found it difficult to get to sleep after 
Byrd had gone, and yet I was too com- 
fortable to make a move. I listened to 
the articulated trucks speeding through 
the village: a crunch of changing 2 
they reached the corner, а his of brakes 
at the crossroads and an ascending note 
as they saw the road dear and accelerat- 


ars as 


ed. Lastly, there was the splash as they 
hit the puddle near the DRIVE CAREFULLY 
OF OUR CHILDREN sign. Every 
tes another came down the 
a sinister alien force that never 
stopped and seemed not friendly toward 
the inhabitants. 1 looked at my watch 
Five-thirty. The hotel was still, but the 
rain hit the window lightly. The wind 
seemed to have dropped, but the fine 
rain continued relentlessly, like a long 
distance runner just getting his second 
breath. J stayed awake for a long time 
thinking about them all. Suddenly I 
ıd a soft footstep in the corridor. 
There was a pause and then I saw thc 
doorknob revolve silently. 
"Ки 
il my conversation with Byrd had awak- 
ened him, the walls were so thin, He 
came in 
“1 would like a cigarette. I can't sleep. 
I have been dows $, but no one is 
about. There is no machine, either." 1 
gave him a pack of Players. He opened it 
and lit one. He seemed in no hurry to go. 
“L can't sleep,” he said. Не st down 
in the plasticcovered easy chair and 
watched the rain on the window. Across 
the shiny landscape, nothing moved. 
We nt a long time, then 1 
“How did you first meet Datt 
He seemed glad to talk. “Vietnam, 
1954. Vietnam was a mess in those days. 
The French colons were still there, but 
they'd begun to realize the inevitability 
of losing. No matter how much practice 
they get, the French are not good at Io: 
ng. You British are skilled at losing. In 
India. you showed that you knew a thing 
ог two about the realities of compromise 
that the French w never learn. They 
knew they were going and they got more 
and more vicious, more and more de- 
mented. They were determined to leave 
nothing—not a hospital blanket nor a 
kind word. 
By the early Fifties, Vietnam м: 
China's Spain. The issues were clear, 
and for us party members, it was ап hon- 
or to go there. It meant that the party 
thought highly of us. I had grown up in 
Paris. I speak perfect French. I could 
move about freely, I was working for an 
old man named De Bois. He was pure 
Vietnamese. Most party members had 
acquired Vietnamese names, по mater 
what their origins, but De Bois couldn't 
bother with such niceties. That’s the sort 
of man he was. A member since he was a 
child. Gommunist Party advisor; purely 
political, nothing to do with the military. 
I was his searctary—it was something of 
an honor he used me as а messenger 
boy. Fm a scientist, I haven't got the 
right sort of mind for soldiering, but it 
was ап honor 
"Dat g in a small town. I 
was told to contact him. We wanted to 
make contact with the Buddhists in that 
region, They were well organized and 
we were told at that time that they were 


id, 


was li 


sympathetic to us. Later ће w 
more defined—the Viet Cong versus 
the Americans’ puppets—but then the 
whole country was a mess of diff 
factions, and we were trying to org; 
them. The only thing that they had 
common was that they were anticolo- 
nial—anti-French-colonial, that is: The 
French had done our work for us. 
was a sort of soft-minded liberal, but he 
had influence with the Buddhists—he 
was something of a Buddhist scholar and. 
they respected him for his learning 
and, more important, as far аз we were 
concerned, he wasn't a Catholic. 

“So I took my bicycle and cycled sixty 
kilometers to see Datt, but in the town it 
was not good to be seen with a rifle; so 
two miles from the town where Datt was 
to be found, I stopped in a small village. 
Te was so small, that village, that it had 
no name. Isn't it extraordinary that a 
village can be so small as to be without а 
name? I stopped and deposited my rifle 
with onc of the young men of the villag 
He was one of us: а Comm , insofar 
as a man who lives in a village without 
a name cin be a Communist. His sister 
was with him. A short girl—her skin 


bronze, almost red—she smiled con- 
stantly and hid behind her brother, рест 
ng out from behind him to study my 


features. Han Chinese® faces were un- 
common around there then. I gave him 
the rifle—an old one left over from the 
Japanese invasion; 1 never did fire а shot 
from it. They both waved as I cycled 
away. 

“I found Dat. 

“He gave me cheroots and brandy and 
a long lecture on the history of demo- 
cratic government. Then we found that 
we used to live near each other in Par 
and we talked about that for a while. I 
wanted him to come back and see De 
Bois. It had been a long journey for me, 


but I knew Date had an old car; and that 
meant that if I could ger him ro return 
with me, I'd get a ride back, too. Be- 


sides, I was tired of arguing with him. I 
wanted to let old De Bois have a go: 


they were more evenly matched. My 
training had been scientific; I wasn't 
much good at the sort of arguing that 


Datt was offeri 

“He came. We put the суйе in the 
back of his old Packard and drove west. 
It was a clear moonlit night, and soon 
we came to the village that was too small 
even to have a name. 

“I know this village; said Dat. 
"Sometimes I walk out as far 25 this. 
There are pheasants.’ 

“I told him that walking this far from 
the town was dangerous. He smiled and 


me. 


SA Chinese description to differentiate 
pure from minority 
groups in China or even Vietnamese, etc. 
Ninety-five percent of China’s popula- 
поп is Han Chinese. 


Chinese various 


сити, 


be 

p we 

9) { 
и 82 0 
Аара ( 


“Please, madam—you're disturbing the tourists.” 


H 
e 


EDS 


ES 


PLAYBOY 


SOSA 


“Happiness is a warm puppy - . - 


said there could be no danger то а man 
of good will. 

“I knew that something was wrong as 
soon as we stopped, for usually someone 
will run out and stare, if not smile. There 
was no sound, There was the usual smell 
of sour garbage and wood smoke that all 
the villages have, but no sound. Even 
the stream was silent, and beyond the 
ge the rice paddy shone in the 
moonlight like spilled milk. Not a dog, 
not a hen. Everyone had gone. There 
were only men from the Süreté there. The 
rifle had been found; an informer, an en- 
emy, the chief—who knows who found 
it? The smiling girl was there, dead, her 
nude body covered with the tiny burns 
that a lighted cigarette end can inflict. 
Two men beckoned Datt. He got out of 
the car. They didn't worry very much 
about me; they knocked me about with a 
pistol, but they kicked Datt, They kicked 
him and kicked him and kicked him, 
Then they rested and smoked Gauloises, 
and then they kicked him some more. 
They were both French, neither was 
more than twenty years old; and even 
then Datt wasn't young, but they kicked 
him mercilessly. He was screaming. I 
don’t think they thought that either of us 
was Viet Minh. They'd waited for a few 
hours for someone to claim that rifle: and 
when we stopped nearby, they grabbed 
us, They didn't even want to know 
whether we'd come for the rifle. They 
kicked him and then they urinated over 
n and then they laughed and they lit 
more cigarettes and got in their Citroën 
nd drove away. 

1 wasn't hurt much. ГА lived all my 
life with the wrong-colored skin. I knew 
a few things about how to be kicked 
without getting hurt, but Datt didn't. I 
got him back in the cax—he'd lost a lot 
of blood and he was a heavy man; even 


176 then he was heavy. "Which way do you 


want me to drive?’ T said. There was a 
hospital back in the town and I would 
have taken. . Datt said, "Take me 
to Comrade De Bois.’ I'd said ‘comrade’ 
all the time I'd spoken with Пан, but 
that was perhaps the first time Datt had 
used the word. A kick in the belly can 
show a man his comrades are. 

Datt was badly hurt.” 

“Не scems to have recovered now, 
aid, "apart from the limp." 

"He's recovered now, apart from the 
limp,” said Kuang. “And rt from the 
1 that he can have по relationships 
with women. 

Kuang examined me carefully and 
ited for me to answer. 

“Ic explains a lot,” I said. 
ir?” said Kuang mockingly. 

" I said. “What right does he 
have lo a eon thuggery with capital- 
ism?" Kuang didn't answer. The ash was 
long on his cigarewe and he walked 
across the room to tap it into the wash- 
basin. I said, "Why should he feel free to 
probe and pry into the people 
and put the results at your disposal 

"You fool, id Kuang. He leaned 
st the washbasin, smiling at me. 
“My grandfather was born in 1878. In 
that year, thirteen million Chinese died 
in the famine. My second brother was 
born in 1928. In that year, five million 
Chinese people died in the famine. We 
lost twenty million dead in the Sino- 
Japanese War, and the Long March 
meant the Nationalists killed two and a 
half million. But we are well over seven 
hundred million and increasing ас the 
rate of fourteen or fifteen million a year. 
We are not a country or a party, we are 
a whole ation, unified and moving 
forward at a speed that has never before 
been equaled in world history. Compare 
our industrial growth rate with India’s 


where 


es of 


agai 


We are unstoppable.” 1 waited for him 
to go on, but he didn't. 

"So what?” I said. 

"So we don't necd to set up clinics to 
study your foolishness and fraihy. We 
аге not interested in your minor psycho- 
logical failings. Рац amusing 
is of no interest to my people 

“Then why did you encourage him?” 

“We have done no such thing. He 
financed the whole business himself. We 
have never aided him or ordered him, 
nor have we taken from him any of his 
records. It doesn’t interest us. He 


been а good friend to us, but no Euro- 
pean can be very close to our problems.” 
“You just used him to make trouble 
for us." 
“That I will admit. We didn't stop him 


making trouble. Why should we? Per- 
haps we have used him rather heartless 
ly, but a revolution must use everyone 
so.” He returned my pack of cigarettes. 

“Keep the pack," 1 said. 

“You are very kind," he s: 
are ten left in 
"They won't go far among seve 

hundred million of you," I said. 

“That's true,” he said, and lit another. 

I was awakened at 9:30. It was la pa- 
tronne. “There is time for a bath and a 
meal," she said. “My husband prefers to 
ly, sometimes the policeman 
nk. Ir would be bes 
you were not here then.” 

I suppose she noticed me look tow 
the other room. “Your colleague is 
awake," she said. "Ihe bathroom is at 
the end of the corridor. Е have put soap 
there and there is plenty of hot water at 
this time of night.” 

“Thanks.” I said. She went out with- 
out answering. 

We ate most of the meal in silence. 
There was a plate of smoked ham, trout 
meunière and an open tart filled with 
rice pudding. The Fleming sat across the 
table and munched bread and drank 
glass of wine to keep us company 
through the meal. 

“I'm conducting tonight." 

“Good,” I said. Kuang nodded 

“You've no objection he asked me. 
He didn't want to show Kuang that I 
was senior man, so he put it as though it 
were a choice between fi 

It will suit me," I said. 

“Me, too," said Kuang. 

“Tve got a couple of scarves for you, 
and two heavy woolen sweaters. We are 
meeting his case officer right on the 
quayside, You are probably going out by 
boat.” 

"Not me," I 
straight back.” 

То," said the man. “Operations were 
quite clear about that." He rubbed his 
face in order to remember more clearly. 
You will come under his case officer, 
jor Chan, just as he takes orders from 
me at this moment.” 


“There 


aid. “ГИ be coming 


Kuang stared impassivey. The man 
said, “I suppose they'll need you if they 
run into a coastguard or fisheries protec 
tion vessel or something unexpected. It’s 


just for territorial waters. You'll soon 
know if their case officer tries somc- 
thing." 


“That sounds like going into а re- 
frigerator to check that the light goes 
out," I said. 

“They must have something 
Out," said the man. "London must 
He stopped and rubbed his [ace again 
Us OK," I said. "He knows we are 
London. 

“London seemed to think it’s ОК. 

"Thats really put my mind at re 
said. 

The man chuckled. "Yes," he 
“yes,” and rubbed his face until his eye 
watered. "I suppose I'm blown now,” 
he 5 


worked. 


“д 


said, 


so," Т agreed. “This will be 
the last job you'll do for us.” 

He nodded. "IIl miss the money,” he 
said sadly. “Just when we could most do 
with it, too. 


Maria kept thinking about Jean-Paul’s 
death. It had thrown her oft balanc 
id now she had то think lopsidedly, like 
а шап carrying a heavy suitcase; she had 
to compensate constantly for the distress 
in her head 

"What a 


she 


said 


terrible waste," 


loudly. 
Ever 


c she was a little girl, M 
1 the habit of speaking to herself. 
Many times she had been embarrassed. 
by someone coming close to her and 
he g her babbling on about her trivial 
troubles and wishes. Her mother had 
never minded. It doesn't matter, she had 
said, if you speak to yourself; irs what 
you say that matters. She wied to stand. 
back and see herself in the present di- 
lemma. Ridiculous, she pronounced; all 
her life had been something of a panto- 
mime, but driving a loaded ambulance 
across northern France was more than 
she could have bargained for even in her 
most imaginative moments. Ап ambu 
lance loaded with 800 dossiers and sex 
films; it made her want to laugh, almost. 
Almost. 

The road curved and she felt thc 
wheels start to slide and corrected for it, 
but onc of the boxes tumbled and 
brought another box down with it. She 
reached behind her and steadied the pile 
of tins The me boxes that were 
stacked along the neatly made bed jan- 
gled gently together, but none of them 
fell. She enjoyed driving, bur there w 
no fun in thrashing this heavy old blood 
wagon over the ill kept back roads of 
northern She must avoid the 
main roads; she knew—almost instinc- 
tively—which ones would be patrolled. 
She knew the way the road patrols 
would obey Loiscau's order to intercept 
Dat, Datt’s dossiers, tapes and films, 


France. 


Maria, Kuang or the Englishm: 
permutation of those that the 
come across. Her fingers groped along 
the dashboard for the third time. She 
switched on the wipers, cursed, switched 
them off, touched the choke and then 
the lighter. Somewhere there must be a 
switch that would extinguish that 
damned orange light that was reflecting 
the piled-up cases, boxes and tins in her 
windscreen. It was dangerous to drive 


or any 
might 


with that reflection in the screen, but she 
didn't want to stop. She could spare the 
asily, but she didn't want to stop. 


"t want to stop until she had com- 
pleted the whole business. Then she 
could stop, then she could rest, then per- 


haps she could be reunited with Loiscau 
again. She shook her head. She wasn't at 
all sure she wanted to be reunited with 
Loiseau again. It was all very well think 
ing of him now in the abstract like this. 
"Thinking of him surrounded by dirty 
dishes and with holes in his socks, think. 
ing of him sad and lonely. But if she 
faced the grim truth, he wasn't sad or 
lonely; he was self-contained, relentless 
and disuessingly complacent about being 
alone. It was unnatural; but then, so 
ing a policeman unnatural. 

She remembered the first time she'd 
met Loiseau. A village in Périgord. She 
was wearing a terrible pink cotton dress 
that a friend had sold her. She went 
back there again years later. You hope 
that the ghost of him will accompany 
you there and that some witcheraft. will 
reach out to him a 


was be 


nd he will come back 
adly in love, 
each with the other, as you were once 
before. But when you get there, you are 
a stranger; the people, the waitress, the 
music, the dances, all of them are new 
and you are unremembered. 

Heavy damned car; the suspension 
and steering were coarse, like а отту. It 
had been ill treated, she imagined, the 
tires were balding. When she entered 
the tiny villages, the ambulance slid on 
the pavé stones, The villages were old 
and gray, with just one or two brightly 
painted signs advertising beer or friture. 
In one village there were bright flashes 
of а welding torch as the village smith 
worked late into the night. Behind her, 
Maria heard the toot, toottoot of a fast 
car. She pulled over to the right and a 
blue Land Rover roared past, flashing its 
headlights and tooting imperious th 
The blue rooftop light flashed s 
over the dark landscape, then 
peared, Maria slowed down; she hadn't 
expected any police patrols on this road, 
and she was suddenly aware of the b 
ing of her heart, She reached for a ciga- 
теце in the deep, soft pockets of her 
suede coat, but as she brought the pack- 
et up to her face, they spilled across her 
lap. She rescued one and put it in h 
mouth. She was going slowly now, and 
only half her attention was on the road. 
The lighter flared and. trembled, and as 


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177 


PLAYBOY 


178 


she doused the flame, more flames grew 
across the horizon. There were six or 
seven of them, small flaring pots, like 
something marking an unknown war- 
riors tomb. The surface of the road was 
black and shiny like a deep lake; and yer 
it couldn't be water, for it hadn't rained 
for a weck. She fancied that the water 
would swallow the ambulance up if she 
didn't stop. But she didn't stop. Her 
front wheels splashes 
black water closing above her, 
cred. It made her feel claustrophobic. 
She lowered the window and recoiled at 
the overwhelming smell of vin rouge. 
Beyond the flares there were lamps flash- 
ing and of headligh ther still 
were meu around а small building that 
lad been built across the road. She 
thought at first that it was а Customs 
control hut, but then she saw 0 
wasn't a building at all. It w: 
wine tinker tipped ошо its side and 
askew across the road, ihe wine gushing 
from the split seams. The front part of 
the vehicle hung over the ditch. Lights 
flashed behind shattered glass ав men 
tried to extricate the driver. She slowed 
up. A policeman beckoned her to the 
side of the road, nodding frantically. 
“You made good time,” the policeman 
id. “There's four dead and one injured. 
He's complaining, but 1 think he's only 
scratched." 

Another policeman 
"Back up against the car 
him in. 

At first Maria was going to drive olf, 
but she managed to calm down а little. 
She took a drag the cigarette. 
Therell be another ambu she 


hurried over. 
d we'll lift 


on 


be 


ambulance ed. 
“Why's tha?” said the policeman. 
"How many casualties did they say on 


said the policem. 
. four dead. The 


“Just one 
driver 
died 
and 


jured, the four in the 
sandy. 


Two truck dri two 


the road 
shoes, a 


the policemen 
broken 


got out of the car. “Let me see 
the hitchhikers,” she said. 
“Dead,” said the policeman, 
d "un, believe me. 
Let me see them," said Maria. She 
looked up the dark road, fearful that the 
lights of an ambulance would appe: 
The policeman walked over to a heap 
in the center of the road. There from u 


know a 


especially for this purpose stuck three 


sets of fect, Не lifted the edge of the tar- 
stared down, т 
ns of the Englis! 
ng, bur they were youths 


ards and denim. One of them had a 


dy to see 


is 


fixed grin across his face. She drew oi 
the cigarette fiercely. “I told you," said 
the policeman. “Dead. 

“ГИ leave the injured man for the sec- 
ond ambulance,” said Maria. 

And have him ride with four stiffs? 
Not on your life," said the policema 
" The red 
lway was 
aring metal as the hydraulic 
jacks tore the cab open to release the 


driver's body. 
"Look," said Maria desperately. “из 
my early shift, I can get away if 1 don't 


have to book a casualty in. The othe 
ambulance won't mind.” 
nice little darling.” said the 


You don't believe in work at 


Please." M. 
him. 


o, I wouldn't, nd that's a 
id the policeman, "You arc tak- 
jured one with you. The stiffs I 
won't insist upon: and if you siy there's 
another ambulance coming, then PH wait 
here. But not with the injured one, 1 
won't" Не handed her a litle bundle. 
“His personal effects. His passport’s in 
there; don't lose it, now." 

1 don't parle,” said a loud Е 
Jish «c. "And let me down, I can 
toddle myself, thanks." 

The policeman who had tried to carry 
the bey released him and watched as he 
climbed cavelully through the ambu- 
lance rear doors. The other policeman 
had entered the ambulance before him 
and cleared the tins off the bed. “Full of 
junk,” said the policeman. He picked up 
а film tin and looked it 

“I's hospital records.” said Maria. 
“Patients transferred. Documents оп 
film. I'm taking them to the other hospi- 
tals in the morning 

The English tourist—a tall boy in a 
black woolen shirt and pink-linen 
trousers—stietched full length on the 
“Thats just the job," he said 
appreciatively. 

The a eman locked the rear doors 
carefully. Maria heard hi 
leave the us where they are. The other 
nbulance will find them. We'll get up 
10 the roadblocks. Everything is happen- 
ing tonight. Accident, roadblocks, con- 
traband search, and the next thing you 
know, we'll be asked to do a couple of 
hours! extra duty. 

"Let the get away id 
the second policeman. “We don't want 
her to report us leaving the scene before 
the second ambulance arrived. 

“That lazy bitch,” said the first police- 
п. He slammed his fist nst the 
rool of the ambulance and called loudly, 
“Right, off you ро; 

Maria turned around in her seat and 
looked fov switch for the 
light. She found it and switched off the 
orange lamp. The poli п leered 


fact 
ing the 


bed. 


imbulance 


the interior 


through the window. "Don't work 
ard," he said. 
“Policemen,” said Maria. She said it as 
if it were a dirty word, and the police- 
an flinched, He was surprised at the 
depth of her hatred. 

He spoke softly and angrily: “The 
trouble with you people from hospitals, 
he said, “you think you're the only 
normal people left alive 

Maria could think of no answer. She 


too 


drove forward. From behind her, the 
voice of the Englishman said, "Fm sorry 
to be causing you all this trouble.” He 


said it 


English, hoping that the tone of 
is voice would convey 
“I's all right 
You speak English!” 
“Thats wonderful.” 

Is your leg hurting you 
make it as profession: 
she knew how. 

nothin 


his meani 
ria. 
said the ma 


M 


She tried to 
nd clinical as 


I did it running down 
the road to find a telephone. It's hilar- 
ious, really: those four dead and me 
unscratched except for a strained knee 
from running down the road. 

“Your car?” 

"That's done for. Cheap car, Ford An- 
Crankcase sticking through the rcar 
axle the last I saw of it. Done for. It 
wasn't the lorry driver's fault. 
lt, either, except that I 


Poor sod. 


s going too fast. I always drive too 
fast. everyone tells me that. But 1 
couldn't oided this lot. He was 


right in the center of the road. You do 
that in a heavy truck on these high cam- 
ber roads. 1 don't blame him. 1 hope he 
doesn’t blame me too much, cither." 

Maria didn't answer: she hoped he'd 
go to sleep so she could think about this 
new situation. 

"Can you dose the window?" he 
asked. She rolled it up a Пие but kept it 
a trille open. The tension of her claustro- 
phobia returned and she knocked the 
window handle with her clbow, hoping 
to open it a little more without the boy's 
noticing. 


p with the police- 
- boy. Maria grunted an 


policemen 
“Toma 
"Go оп 

about it. 


пей one. 


^I never got married. I lived 


with a girl for a couple of y 
stopped. 

“What happened?” said Ма 
didn't care. Her worries were all upon 
the road ahead. How many roadblocks 
were out tonight? How thoroughly 
would they examine papers and саро? 

"She chucked me,” said the boy. 

Chucked? 
«аса me. What about you 
I suppose mine chucked me," s 
Maria 

"And 


йз... 


She 


id 


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те Code. 


h the terrible 


said the boy wi 
simplicity of youth. 
“Yes,” said Maria and laughed aloud. 
You all right?” asked the boy aux- 
ously 


all r id Maria. “But the 
nearest hospital th пу good is across 
the border, in Belgium. You Пе back and 


groan and behave like an emergency 
when we get to the frontier. Under- 
stand? 

aria deliberately drove Gisuward, 


g around the Forét de St. Michel, 
Wasigny and Signy-le-Petit. 
1 cross the border at Riez 
ippose they are all closed down at 
the frontier?” asked the boy. 

"Leave it with me," said Maria. She 
cut back through a narrow lane, offering 
thanks that it hadn't begun to rain, I 
this part of the world, the mud could be 
impassable after half an hour's rain. 

"You certainly know your way 
id." said the boy. “Do you live near 


aro 
he 


My mother still дос 

ог your father?" 
“Yes, he doe 

laughed. 

Are you all right?" the boy asked 


down 


nd sleep. 


“I'm sorry to be a bother," said the 
boy. 
Pardon те for breathing, thought 


Maria; the English were always apolo- 
gizing. 
Already the brief butterfly summer of 


the hotels is almost go! 
the shutters are locked and the waiters 
е scanning the ads for winterresort 
jobs. The road snakes past the golf club 
1d military hospital. Huge white duncs, 
ight like alabaster 
temples, lean against the gray Wehr- 
macht gun emplacements. Between the 
points of sand and the cubes of concrete, 
nightjars swoop openmouthed upon the 
moths and insects. The red glow of Os- 
tend is nearer now and yellow trams rat- 
tle alongside the motor road and over 
the bridge by the Royal Yacht Club, 
where white yachis—sails neatly rolled 
id tied—sleep, bobbing on the gr 
water like seagulls. 

"I'm sorry,” I said. "I thought they 
would be earlier than this." 

“A policeman gets used по standing 
around,” Loiscau answered. He moved 
back the cobbles and scrubby 
grass, stepping carefully over the rusty 
lway lines and around the shapeless 
debris and abandoned cables. When 1 
was sure he was out of sight, I walked 
back along the quay. Below me the sca 
made soft noises like a bathful of ser 
реш, and the joints of foi cient 
fishing boats creaked. 

I walked over to Kuang. "He's late," 1 
sid. Kuang said nothing. Behind him, 


shining in the moon 


across 


farther along the quay, a freighter wa 
being loaded by a huge traveling crane. 
Light spilled across the waterfront fom 
the spotlights on the crancs. Could their 
man have caught sight of Loiseau and 
been frightened away? Tt was 15 min 
utes later than rendezvous. The stand 
control procedure was to wait only four 
minutes, then com 


back 24 hours late 
but I hung оп. Control procedures were 
invented by diligent men in clean shirts 

wd» warm offices. I stayed. Kuang 
seemed not to notice the passage of time 
—or, more accurately, perhaps, ће rev- 
dled in it. He stood patiently- He hadn't 
stamped his feet, breathed into his hands 
or smoked a cigarette, When I neared 
him, he didn't raise а quizzical eyebrow, 
remark about the cold or even look at his 
watch. He stared across the water, 
glanced at me to be sure 1 was not about 
to speak again, and then resumed his 
pose. 

"We'll give him tei 
said. Kuang looked at me. I w' 
down the quayside 

The yellow headlight turned. off the 
main road а trifle too fast and there was 
а crunch аз the edge of an offside wing 
touched one of the oil drums piled out- 
side the Fina station. The lights kept 
coming, main beams. Kuang was illumi- 
nated as bright as а snowman, and there 
was only a couple of feet of space be 
tween him and the wire fence around 
the sand heap. Kuang leaped across the 
path of the car. His coat flapped across 
the headlight, momentarily eclipsing its 
beam. There was a scream as the brakes 
slammed on and the engine stalled. Sud- 
denly it was quiet. The sea splashed 
greedily against the jetty. Kuang was 
sucking his thumb as I got down from 
the oil drum. It was an. ambulance that 
had so nearly run us dow 

Ош of the ambulance stepped M 

“What's going on?" I said. 

“I'm Major Maria. 

“You are?” Kuang said. He obviously 
didn't believe her. 

"You're Major Chan, case officer for 
Kuang here?” I said. 

“For the purposes that we are ай 
vested. in, 1 am," she said. 

"What sort of answer is that?" I asked 

“Whatever sort of answer it is,” said 
Maria, “йз going to have to do." 

“Very well,” I said. "He's all yours.” 

“L won't go with her,” said Kuang. 
"She tried t0 run me down. You saw 
he 


more minutes, 
Ікеа back 


“1 know her well enough to know that 
she could have tried a lot harder," I said 

“You didn't show that sort of confi 
dence a couple of minutes ago," M. 
aid. "Scrambling out of the way when 
you thought I was going to run you 
down." 

“What's confidence?" T said. "Smiling 
as you fall off a cliff to prove that you've 
jumped?" 


"Thats what it is,” said Maria, and 
she leaned forward and gave me a tiny 
. but I refused to be placated. 

"Where's your contact?” I said. 

"This is it,” said Maria, playing for 
time. 

I grabbed her arm and clutched it 
tight. “Don't play for time,” I told her. 
"You said you're the case officer. So 
take Kuang and start to run him." She 
looked at me blankly. I si 

“They should be he 


boat." She pointed along the jeuy. We 
sued into the darkness. А small boat 
moved into the pool of light cast by the 


loading freighter. It turned toward us. 
‘They will want to load the boxes 
from the ambulance.” 

“Hold it,” 1 told her. “Take your pay- 
ment first. 

“How did you know?” 

“It’s obvious, isn't iv?” I said. “You 
bring Datt's dossier 
your ingenuity, your knowledge of po 
methods and routes, and if the worst 
comes to the worst, you use your influence 
with your ex-husband. For what? In re 
turn, Datt will give you your own do 
and film, ес. Am I right?” 

"Yes," she 

“Then let them worry about loa 
‘The motorboat was closer now. It w 
high-speed launch; four men in реа ja 
ets stood in the stern. They stared to- 
ward us but didn’t wave or call. As the 
boat got to the stone steps, one man 
jumped ashore. He took the rope and 
made it fast to a jetty ring. “The boxes,” 
I called to them. “Your papers are here 

“Load first," said the sailor who h: 

jumped ashore. 
“Give me the boxes,” I said. The sail- 
ors looked at me and at Kuang. One of 
the men in the boat made a motion with 
is hand and the others took two tin box- 
es, adorned with red seals, from the bot- 
tom of the boat and passed them to the 
first man, who carried them up the steps 
to us. 

"Help me with the boxes," said M. 
to the Chinese sailor. 

I still had hold of her arm. “Get back 
into the ambulance and lock the doors 
from inside," I said. 

“You аг 

I pushed her roughly toward the driv- 
er's door. 

I didn’t take my eyes off Maria, but on 
the periphery of my vision to the right, I 
could see a man edging along the side of 
the ambulance toward me. He kept one 
hand flat against the side of the vehicle, 
dabbing at the large scarlet cross as if 
testing to sce if the paint was wet. I let 
him come to within arm's length and, 
still without swiveling my 1 , I flicked 
out my hand so that my fingertips lashed 
his face, causing him to bl 
back. I leaned a few inches to 
while sweeping my hand back the way it 
had come, slapping him not very hard 
across the side of the check. 


ive over,” he shouted 
“What the hell are you оп? 

“Get back in the ambulance,” Maria 
called to him. "He's harmless,” she said. 
“A motor accident on the road. That's 
how I got through the blocks so easily.” 

“You said Ostend hospital,” said the 
boy. 

Stay out of this, sonny," I said. "You 
are im danger even if you keep your 
mouth shut. Open it and you're dead.” 

"Em the case officer,” she insisted. 

"You are what?" I said. I smiled one 
of my reassuring smiles, but I sce now 
that to Maria it must have seemed like 
; you've 
Get into 
the ambulance," I told her. "Your ex- 
husband. ing down the jetty. If 
you have this carload of documents with 
you when he arrests you, things might 


English. 


"Did you hear him?” Maria said to the 
sailor and Kuang. “Take the documents, 
е me with you—he's betrayed us 
all to the police." Her voice was quiet, 
but the note of hysteria was only one 
modulation away. 

The sailor remained impassive and 


Kuang didn’t even look toward her. 

"Did you hear him?" she said desper- 
ately. No one spoke. A rowboat was 
moving out around the far side of the 
yacht club. The flutter of dripping 
blades skidding upon the surface and the 
gasp of oars biting into the 
lonely rhythm, like a woman's sobs, 
followed by the sharp intake of breath. 

I said, “You don't know what it's all 
about. This man's job is to bring Kuang 
back to their ship. He's also instructed to 
take me. As well as that, he'll try to take 
the documents. But he doesn’t change 
plans because you shout news about Loi- 

iting to arrest you. In fact, thats 
ving right away, be- 
their big command is to stay out of 
trouble. This business doesn’t work like 
that.” 

Т signaled Kuang to go down to the 


I punched 
ГП knock you 


smiled, but 1 meant i 
a. Not with that 
She opened the 


insist I do it. 
"I can't face 
case, I can't face him. 


“My son told me what you said about me.” 


181 


PLAYBOY 


driver's door and got into the seat. She 
would rather face Dan than Loiscau. 
She shivered. 

The boy said, “1 feel I'm maki 
of trouble for you. I'm sorry. 

“Just don't say you're sorry once 
again,” I heard Maria say. 
ct," I called to the sailor 
lice will be here any moment. "There's no 
time to load boxes." He it the foot 
of the ladder and I had my heavy shoes 
on. He shrugged and stepped into the 
boat. I untied the rope and someone 
started the motor. There was a bright 
flurry of water and the boat moved 
quickly, zigzagging through the water as 
the helmsman got the feel of the rudder. 

At the end of the bridge, there was a 
flashlight І wondered if the 
whistles were going. I couldn't hear any- 
thing above the sound of the outboard 
motor. The flashlight was reflected sud- 
denly in the driver's door of Ше ambu- 
lance. The boat lurched violently as we 
left the harbor 
1 looked at the Chi Пог at the 
heim. He didn't seem frightened; but 
then, how would he Jook if he did? 1 
looked back. The figures on the qua 
and indistinct. I looked at my 
ch: It was 2:10 л.м. The Incredible 
Sount Szell had just killed another ca- 
y; they cost only three francs, four at. 
the very most. 


ng a dor 


moving 


nd entered the open sca. 


se 


were ti 


‘Three miles out from Ostend, the w. 
ter was still and a layer of mist hugged 
it; a bleak, bottomless caldron of broth 

182 cooling in the cold morning air. Out of 


the mist appea 
а xruffy vessel of 


ed M. Daws ship. Tt was 
out 10,000 tons, an 
old cargo boat, its rear derrick broken. 
One of the bridge wings had been m: 
gled in some long-forgotten mishap, and 
the gray hull, scabby and peeling, had 
long brown rusty stains dribbling from. 
the hawsepipes down the anchor fleets. 
It had been at anchor а long time out 
here in the Straits of Dover. The most 
unusual features of the ship were a main- 
mast about three times taller than usual 
and the words rapio JaxıxE newly 
painted in tenfoochigh white letters 
long the hull. 
‘The engines were silent, the ship still, 
but the current sucked around the draft 
figures on the stem and the anchor chain 
groaned as the ship tugged like а bored 
child upon its mother's hand. There was 
no movement on deck. but I sw a fl. 
of glass from the wheelhouse as we came 
close. Bolted to the hullside there was ап 
ugly metal accommodation ladder, rath- 
er like a fire escape. At water level the 
steps ended in a wide platform complete 
with stanchion and guest warp, to which 
we made fast. M. Datt wa 

As we went up the metal 
called to us, "Where are they?" No one 
nswered, no one even looked up at him. 
Where are the packets of documents— 
my work? Where is it? 

“There's just me," I said. 

“I told you . . ." Datt shouted to one 
of the sailors. 

"It was not possible," Kuang told him. 
“The police were right behind us, We 
were lucky to get 


«а us aboard. 


"The dossiers 
thing.” said Бан. 
for the gi о one spoke. 
you? 

“The police almost certainly got her,” 
Kuang said. “It was a close thing. 

"Aud my document?” said Рац. 

“These things happen,” said Ки 
showing little or no concern. 

"Poor María," said Dı 


were the importa 
Didn't you even w 
Well, didn't 


ng, 


My daugh- 


‘ou care only about your dossiers," 
said Kuang calmly. "You do not care for 
the girl. 

"I care Гог you all,” said Dau. "I care 
cven for the Englishman here. I care for 
you ан” 

"Yol 


are a 


asked Kuang. "You 
will tell them that you gave the docu- 
ments to the girl and put my safety into 
her hands because you were not brave 
enough to perform your duties as con- 
ducting officer. You let the girl masquer 
ade as Major Chan while you made a 
quick getaway, alone and unencum- 
bered. You gave her access to the code 
greeting and J can only guess what other 
secrets, and then you have the effrontery 
to complain that your stupid researches 
are not delivered safely to you aboard 
the ship here.” Kuang smiled. 

t turned away from us and walked 
rd, Inside, the ship was in bener 
condition and well lit. There was the 
nt hum of the generators, and 


sound of a metal door slamming. He 
Kicked a vent and smacked a deck light 
that miraculously lit. A man leaned over 
the bridge wing and looked down on us, 
but Datt waved him back to work. He 


walked up the lower b dder and 1 
followed him, but Kuang remained ar 
- foot of it. “I am hungry," Kuang 


said. 
below to cat 

"Very well," said Datt, without looking 
back. He opened the door of what had 
once been the саргай cabin and waved 
me to precede him. His cabin was warm 


have heard. enough 


I'm going 


nd comfortable. The small bcd was 
dented where someone had been lying. 
On the writing table there were а heap 


of papers, some envelopes, a tall pile of 
gramophone records and a vacuum flask. 
opened a cupboard above the desk 
and reached down two cups. He poured 
hot coffee from the flask and then two 
brandies into tulip glasses. I put two 
heaps of sugar into my coffee and poured 
the brandy after it; then 1 downed the 
hot mixture and felt it doing wonders 
for my arteries. 

Dait offered me his cigarettes, 
said, “A mistake. A silly mis 
ever make silly mistakes 

I said, "It's onc of my very few creative 
activities.” I waved away his cigarettes. 

“Droll,” said Dau. "I felt sure that 


He 
аке. Do you 


мо 


Loiscau would not act against me. I had 
fluence and a hold on his wife. I felt 
sure he wouldn't act against me.” 
Was that your sole reason for involv- 
ing Maria 

“To tell you the truth, yes.” 

“Then I'm sorry you guessed wrong, It 
would have been beuer to have left 
Maria ош of d 
work was 


My almost done. These 
things don't last forever." He brightened. 
"But within a year we'll do the same 
operation again." 

1 said, “Another psychological investi 
gation with hidden cameras and record- 
ers, and available women for influential 
Western men? Another large house with 
all the trimmings in a fashionable part of 
Paris?" 

Dau nodded. “Or a fashionable part 
of Buenos Aires, or Tokyo, ог Wa 
ton, or London.” 

“I don't think you are a true Marxist 
at all" I said. "You merely relish the 
downfall of the West. A Marxist at least 
comforts himself with the idea of the 
proletariat joining hands across national 


frontiers; but you Chinese Communists 
relish aggressive nationalism just at a 
time when the world mature 


enough to reject it 

“1 relish nothing. I just record,” said 
t "But it could be said that the 
ngs of western Europe that you are 
most anxious to preserve are beiter 
served by supporting the real, uncompro- 
mising power of Chinese communism 
by allowing the West to splinter 

nc warrior 


states. France, 
for example, g very nicely 
down that path: what will she preserve 
in the West if her atom bombs are 
launched? We will conquer, we will pre 
serve. Only we can create a truly world 
order based upon seven hundred million 
wue believers. 

“That's really 1984," I said. "Your 
whole setup is Orwell 

"Orwell," said Dau, ive sim- 
pleton. А middle-class weakling terrified 
by the realities of social revolution. He 
was a man of little talent and would 
nown had the reac- 
tionary press not seen in him a powerful 
weapon of propaganda. They made him 
guru, а pundit, a seer. But their ейо 
will rebound upon them, for Orwell in 
the long run will be the greatest ally 
the Commun 1. He 


wave 


was a 


t movement ever Па 


warned the bourgeoisie по watch for 
militancy, organization, fanaticism and 
thought planning, while all the time the 


seeds ol their destruction were being sown 
by their own inadequacy, apathy, aim- 
less violence and trivial titillation. Their 
destruction is in good hands: their own. 
The rebuilding will be ours. My own 
writings will be the basis of our control 
of Europe and America. Our control will 
rest upon the satisfaction of their own 


basest appetites, Eventually a new sort 
of European man will evolve.” 

“History.” Г said. “That's always the 
alibi.” 

“Progress is only possible if we learn 
from history. 

"Don't believe it. Progress is man's 
difference 10 the lessons of history." 
ou are cynical as well as ignorant," 
said Dau, as though making a discovery. 
“Get to know yourself, that's my advice. 
Get to know yourself” 

“L know enough 
ready.” I said. 

"You feel sorry for the people who 
came to my clinic. That's because you 
really feel sorry for yourself. But. these 
people do not deserve your sympathy. 
Rationalization is their destruction. Ra 
tionalization i» the aspirin of mental 
health and, as with aspirin, an overdose 

be fatal. 

They enslave themselves by dipping 
deeper and deeper into the iub of ta- 
boos. And yet each stage of their jou 


in- 


wful people al- 


ney is described as greater freedom.” 
He laughed grimly. "Permisivenes is 
slavery. But so has history always been. 
Your jaded. overfed section of the world 
is comparable to the ancient city-states 
of the Middle East. Outside the gates, 
the hard nomads waited their chance to 
plunder the rich, decadent city dwellers. 
Aud in their turn the nomads would con- 
quer. seule into the newly conquered 
city and grow soft, and new hard eyes 
ched the barren desert 
until their time was ripe. So the hard, 
strong, ambitious, idealistic peoples of 
China see the overripe condition of Eu- 
rope and the U.S. A. They sniff the ай 
and upon it floats the aroma of garbage 
cans overfilled. idle hands and warped 
minds seeking diversions bizarre and 
perverted; they smell violence, stemming 
пос Пот hunger but from boredom; they 
smell the corruption of government and 
the acrid flash of fascism. They sniff. my 
friend: 
I said noth 


from 


stom 


you 


ted while 


“What it comes down to is—if we don't 
put an end to all this *death-of-God' talk, 
we'll soon be out looking jor jobs." 


183 


PLAYBOY 


184 


sipped at his coffee and brandy. Не 
looked up. "Take off your coat.” 

“Ym пос staying.” 

“Not staying?” He chuckled. 
are you going? 

“Back to Ostend,” I said. “And you 
are going with me.” 

"More violence? 
in mock surrender. 

I shook my head. "You know you've 
Bot to go back," I said. "Or are you 
going to leave all your dossiers back 
there on the quayside, less than four 
miles away?" 

“You'll give them to me?” 

"Im promising nothing," I told him, 
"but I know that you have to go back 
there. There is no alternative." 

I poured myself more coffee and ges- 

tured to him with the pot. “Yes,” he said 
absentmindedly. “More.” 
"You are not the sort of man that 
leaves a. part of himself behind. I know 
you, Monsieur Datt. You could bear to 
have your documents on the way to Chi- 
a and yourself in the hands of Loiseau, 
but the converse you cannot. bear. 

“You expect me to go back there and 
give myself up to Loiscau? 

“I know you will,” I said. “Or 
rest of your life regretting 
recall all your work and records and you 
will relive this moment a million times. 
ОГ course you must return with me. Loi- 
seau is a human being, and human ac- 
tivities are your specialty. You have 
friends in high places; it will be hard to 
convict you of any crime on the statute 
book . . .” 

“That 
France." 

“Ostend is in Belgium,” I said. “Bel- 
m doesn't recognize Peking; Loiscau 
operates there only on sullerance. Loi- 
seau, too, will be amenable to any de- 
bating skill you can muster. Loiscau 
fears a political scandal that would in- 
volve taking a man forcibly from a 
foreign country . . 

"You are glib. Too glib,” said Пап. 
“The risk remains (oo great.” 

“Just as you wish,” 1 said. I drank the 
rest of my coffee and turned away from 
him. 

“I'd be a fool to go back for the docu- 
ments. Loiseau can't touch me here.” He 


‘Where 


He raised his hands 


very little protection in 


He said, * 


1 was my idea to make my 
control center а pirate radio boat. We 
are not open to inspection nor even un- 
der the jurisdiction of any government in 
the world. We are, in effect, a nation 
unto ourselves on this boat, just as all the 
other pirate radio ships are 
"Thats right" I said. “You're safe 
here.” I stood up. “I should have said 
nothing,” I said. “It is not my concern, 
My job is done.” I buttoned my coat 
tight and blessed the man from Ostend 
for providing the thick extra sweater. 
“You despise me?" said Пац. There 


was an angry note in his voice. 

I stepped toward him and took his 

hand in mine. "I don't," I said anxiously. 
Your judgment is as valid as minc. Bet 
ter, for only you are in a position to 
evaluate your work and your freedom.” I 
gripped his hand tight, in a stereotyped 
gesture of reassurance. 

He said, "My work is of immense val- 
че. A breakthrough, you might almost 
say. Some of the studies seemed to have 
15 Г Now he was anxious to convince 
me of the importance of his work. 

But I released his hand carefully. 1 
nodded and smiled. "I must go. I have 
brought Kuang here; my job is done. 
Perhaps one of your sailors would take 
me back to Ostend.” 

Datt nodded. I turned. away, tired of 
my game and wondering whether I real 
Ту wanted to take this sick old man and 
deliver him to the mercies of the French 
Government. They say a man’s resolu. 
tion shows in the set of his shoulders. 
Perhaps Datt saw my indifference in 
mine. “Wait,” he called. “I will take 
you." 

"Good," I said. “ 
to think.” 

Datt looked around the cabin fever- 
въ. He wet his lips and smoothed 
his hair with the flat of his hand. He 
flicked through a bundle of papers 
stuffed two of them in his pocket and 
gathered up a few possessions. 


t will give you time 


They were strange things that Dart 
took with him: an engraved paper- 
weight, a half bottle of brandy, а cheap 


notebook and, finally, an old fountain 
pen, which he inspected, wiped and 
carefully capped before pushing it into 
his waistcoat pocket. "Tl take you 
he said. "Do you think Loiseau 
will let me just look through my stuff? 

“I can't answer for Loiscau," I said. 
“But I know he fought for months to get 
permission то raid your house on the Av- 
enue Foch. He submitted report after 
report proving beyond all normal need 
that you were a threat to the security of 
France. Do you know what answer he 
got? They told him that you were an X, 
ancien X. You were a polytechnic 
man, one of the ruling class, the elite of 
France. You could tutoyer his Minister, 
call half the Cabinet cher camarade. You 
were a privileged person, inviolate and 
arrogant with him and his men. But he 
persisted, he showed them finally what 
you were, Monsieur Datt. And now рег 
haps he'll want them to pay their bill. I'd 
say Loiseau might see the advantage in 
letting a little of your poison into their 
blood stream. He might decide to give 
them something to remember the next 
time they are about to obstruct him and 
lecture him, and ask him for the fiftieth 
ime if he isn't mistaken. Permit you to 
retain the dossiers and tapes?" I smiled. 
"He might well insist upon it. 

Datt nodded, cranked the handle of 
an ancient wall phone and spoke some 


rapid Chinese dialect into it. I noticed 
his large white fingers, like the roots of 
some plant that had never been exposed 
to sunlight. 

He said, “You are right, no doubt 
about it. I must be where my rescarch is 
I should never have parted company 
from it.” 

He pottered about absentmindedly. 
He picked up his Monopoly board. “You 
must reassure me on one thing,” he said. 
He put the board down again. “The girl. 
You'll sce that the girl's all right?" 


She'll be all right.” 
“You'll 


attend to it? Гуе treated her 


ed her, you know. J threat- 
ened her about her file. About her pic 
tures, I shouldn't have done that, really, 
but I cared for my work. It's not a crime, 
is it, caring about your work?” 

"Depends upon the work.” 

“Mind you,” said Dart, "I have given 
her money. I gave her the car, too. 

“It’s easy to give away things you 
don't need," I said. "And rich people 
who give away money need to be quite 
sure they're not tying to buy some- 
thing. 

Туе treated her badly,” he noted to 
himself. “And there's the boy, my grand- 
son." 

I hurried down the iron steps. 1 want- 
ed to get away from the boat before 
Kuang saw what was happening, and yet 
I doubt if Kuang would have stopped us; 
with Datt out of the way, the only report 
going back would be Kuang's. 

You've done me a favor,” Datt pro- 
nounced as he started up the outboard 
motor. 

“That's 


ight,” I said. 

The Englishman had told her to lock 
the ambulance door. She tried to, but as 
her finger hovered over the catch, the 
nausea of fear broke over her. She imag- 
ined just for a moment the agony of 
being imprisoned. She shuddered and 
pushed the thought aside. She tried 
again, but it was no use; and while she 
was still trying to push the lock, the 
English boy with the injured knee 
leaned across her and locked the door. 
She wound the window down, urgently 
trying to still the claustrophobia. She 
leaned forward with her eyes closed and 
pressed her head against the cold wind- 
seres What had she done? It had 
seemed so right when Datt had put it to 
her: If she took the main bulk of the 
documents and tapes up to Ше rendez- 
vous for him, then he would be waiting 
there with her own film and dossier. A 
fair exchange, he had said. She touched 
the locks of the case that had come from 
the boat. She supposed her documents 
were inside, but suddenly she didn't 
care. Fine rain beaded the windscreen 
with litle lenses. The motorboat was 


All beers 


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PLAYBOY 


“What did we 
Sundays before we 


repeated a thous: 
“Are you all right 


mes upside down. 
" the boy asked. 


lou don't look well." 
She didn't answer. 
"Look here," hc said, 


I wish you'd 
bout. I know I’ve 


tell me what all this 


given you a lot of trouble and all that; 
you see. 
“Stay here in the car," Maria said. 


“Don't touch anything and don't let any- 
one else touch anything. Promise?” 
y well, I. promise.” 

She unlocked the door with a sigh of 
relief and got out into the cold, salty 
The car was on the very brink of the wa- 
terside and she stepped carefully across 
the wom stones, Along the whole quay- 


r. 


side, men were appearing out of door- 
ways and warehouse entrances 
ordinary men, but men berets 


klets, They moved quietly and most of 
them were curing automatic rifles. A 
group of them near to her stepped under 
the wharfside lights, and she saw the 
glitter of the paratroop badges, Maria 
186 was frightened of the men. She stopped 


do with our 
hated America?” 


ar the doors of the 
and looked back; the boy si 
across the metal boxes and fi 
smiled and nodded ıo rea 
he wouldn't touch а 
she care whether he touched. anything? 
One man broke away from the group of 

atroops near her. He was 
ое,  thigh-length black-leather coat 
nd an old-fashioned tilby hat, He had 
taken only one step when she recognized 
Loiseau. 

“Maria, is it you?” 

“Yes, it’s me” 

He hunied toward her, but when he 
was a pace away, he stopped. She had 
expected him to embrace her. She want 
ed to hang onto him and feel his hand 
slapping her awkwardly on the back, 
h was his inadequate attempt to 

nds. 


mbulance 
red at her 
ins. He 
sure her that 
nything. Why did 


she 


1 Loiseau, “А р 
walion. The Belgians gave me 
full cooperation.” 


Maria resented that. It was his way of 
t she had never given him 
Just to take me into 
she said, “a whole battalion 
parauoops? You must have 


custody, 

of Belgia 

exaggerated, 
“There isa sl 


ip out there. There is no 
telling how many men are aboard. Datt 
might have decided to take the docu- 
ments by force. 
He was anxious to justify himself, like 
а Tittle boy seeking an advance on his 
pocket money. She smiled and repeated, 
“You must have exaggerated. 
I did," said г. He did not 
smile. for distorting truth was nothing to 
be proud of. But in this case, he was 
anxious that there should be no mistakes. 
He would rather look a fool Гог over- 
preparation than be found inadequate. 
They stood there staring at each other 


in the ambu- 


‘The film of me is 


too.” 
ıt about the tape of the English- 
n? The questioning that you tans 
lated. when he was drugged?” 

“That's there, too: ИЗ a green tin; 
number B fourteen." She touched his 
n. “What will you do with the Eng- 
lishman's tape?" She could not ask about 
her own. 

"Destroy it,” said Loisca 
has come of 
harm him 

“Aud that's part of your agreement 
with Вип,” she accused. 

Loiseau nodded 

“And my tape 
will destroy that, too.” 

Doesn't that во against your princi- 
"destruction of evidence the 
for a policeman?” 
here is no rulebook that can be con- 
sulted in these matters, whatever the 
Church and the politicians and the law- 
yers tell us. Police forces, governments 
and armies are just groups of men, Each 
his conscience dictates. 

ithout question or 


"Nothing 
and I've no reason to 


he's not 
Maria gripped his arm with both 
hands and pretended just for a moment 
that she would never have to let go. 
“Lieutenant,” Loiseau called along the 
wharf. One of the paratroops slammed to 
mion and doubled along the water- 
"H have to take you into custo- 
Loisean said quietly to. Maria, 
"My documents are on the front 
of the ambulance," she told him hurr 
ly before the lieutenant reached them 
“Lieutenant,” Loiseau said, “I w 
10 take the boxes out of the amb 
асе and bring them along to the shed, 
By the way. you had better take an 
ventory of the tins and boxes; mark them 
with chalk. Keep an armed guard on the 
whole operation. There might be 
attempt to recover them.” 


The lieutenant saluted Loiscau warm 
ly and gave Мапа a passing glance of 
curiosity. 

Come along, Maria," said Loiscau. 
He turned and walked toward the shed. 

Maria patted her hair and followed. 

him. 


It was a wooden hut that had been 
put up for the du of World War 
Two. A long, badly lit corridor ran the 
whole length of the hut, and the rest was 
divided into four small, uncomfortable 
offices. Maria repaired her make-up for 
the third time. She decided to do one 
eye at а time and get them really right. 

“How much longer?” she asked. Her 
voice was distorted as she held her face 
taut to paint the line over her right сус. 

Another hour," said Loiseau. There 
was a knock at the door and the para- 
troop lieutenant came in. He looked 
briefly at Maria and then saluted 
Lois 


"re having a little trouble, sir, get- 
ting Ше boxes out of the ambulance 

“Trouble?” said Loiscau. 

“There's some madman with an 
jured leg. Нез roaring and raging and 
punching the soldiers who are trying to 
unload the vchicle. 

"Can't you deal with и? 

“OF course I can deal with it,” said the 
paratroop officer. Loiseau detected а note 
of imitation in his voice, "It's just that 
I don't know who the little squirt is.” 

“I picked him up on the road," said 
Maria. “He was injured in a road crash. I 
told him to look after the documents 
when I got out of the car. I didn't mean 
.-. hes nothing to do with . . . he's 
just a casualty.” 

“Just a casualty,” Loiseau repeated to 
the lieutenant. The lieutenant smiled, 
“Get him along to the hospital" said 
Loiseau. 

“The hospital,” repeated 
“Everything in its proper place.” 

“Very good, sir,” said the lieutenant. 
He saluted with an extra display of ener- 
to show that he disregarded the sar- 
of the woman. He gave the woman 
disapproving look as he turned. about 
and left. 
“You 
а 


in 


Maria. 


have another convert" said 
María. She chuckled as she surveyed. her 
painted cye, twisting her face slightly so 
that the unpainted eye was not visible 
the mirror. She tilted her head high to 
keep her chin line. She heard the soldiers 
piling the boxes in the corridor. ~ 
hungry,” she said after а while. 

“I can send out,” said Loiseau. “The 
soldiers have a lorry full of coffee and 
sausage and some awful fried th 

“Coffee and suusige.” 
зо and get two sweet coffees and 
some sausage sandwiches,” Loiscau said 
to the young sentry. 

“The corporal has gone for his coffee,” 
said the soldier. 


m 


“That's all right d Loiseau, “I'll 
look after the box 
“He'll look after the boxes, 
id flatly to the mirror. 

The soldier looked at her, but Loiseau 
nodded and the soldier turned to get the 
coffee. “You can leave your gun with 
me,” Loiscau said. “You'll not be able to 
carry the coffee with that slung round 
your neck, and I don't want guns left 
lying around in the corridor." 

"I'll manage the coffee and the gun," 
said the soldier. He said it defiantly, 
then he slung the strap of the gun 
around his neck to prove it was possible. 

“You're a good soldier,” said Loiscau. 

"It won't take a moment,” said the 
soldier. 

Loiseau swung around in the 
chair, drummed his fingers on the rick- 
ety desk and then swiveled back the other 
way. He leaned close to the window. 
The condensation was heavy on it and 
he wiped a peephole clear so that he 
could sce the waterfront. He had prom- 
ised the Englishman that he would wait. 
He wished he hadn't: It spoiled his 
schedule, and also it gave this awkward 
time of hanging about here with Maria. 
He couldn't have her held in the local 
police station, obviously she had to wait 
here with him; it was unavoidable, and 


" Maria 


vel 


yet it was а bad situation. He had been 
in no position to argue with the English- 
man. The Englishman had offered him 


the Red 


all the documents as well a 
Chinese conducting officer. WI 
he had said that if Loiseau would wait 
here, he would bring Datt off the ship 
and deliver him to the quayside. Loiscau 
snorted, There was no good reason for 
Datt to leave the pirate radio ship. He 
was safe out there beyond the three mile 
limit, and he knew it. All the other pirate 
radio ships were out there and safe. Datt 
had only to tune in to the other ships to 
confirm it. 

"Have you got a cold?" Maria asked 
him, still inspecting her painted су 

dat 

"It sounds like it. Your nose is stuffed 
up. You know ti Iways the first sign 
with those colds you get. It's having the 
bedroom window open; I've told you 
about that hundreds of times.” 

“And I wish you'd stop telling me." 

"Just as you like.” She scrubbed 
around in the tin of eye black and spat 
into it. She had smudged the left сус 
and now she wiped it clean so that she 
looked curiously lopsided: one eye dra 
matically painted and the other white 
and naked. “I'm sorry,” she said, “Really 
sorry." 

“It will be all right,” said Loiseau 
"Somehow I will find a way." 

“1 love you,” she said. 

"Perhaps." His face was gray and his 
eyes deepsunk, the way they always 
were when he had missed a lot of sleep. 

They had occupied the same place in 
her mind, Loiscu aud her father, but 


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PLAYBOY 


now she suddenly saw Loiseau as he 
Пу was. He was no superman; he was 
middle-aged and fallible and unrelaxing- 
ly hard upon himself. Maria put the eye- 
black tin down and walked across to the 
window near Loiscau. 

“I love you," she said again. 

I know you do," said Loiseau. “And T 
am а lucky man.” 

“Please help me,” said Maria, and Loi- 
sceau was amazed, [or he could never 
have imagined her asking for help: and 
amazed, for she could not 
agine herself asking for help. 
Loiscau put nose close to the 
window. It was hard to see through it be- 
cause of the reflections and condensa- 
tion. Again he rubbed a dear place to 
look through. 

I will help you, 

She cleared her ow 


his 


said Loiscau. 

a little portion of 
glass and peered along the wat 
long 


ront. 
that 


"Hes а damn time with 


coffee,” said Loi: 


sa 


Well, Um damned, wid Loiseau. 
"He's brought. him. 

Таш voice echoed down the corridor 
as the hut door swung ор 

“This is it,” he said excitedly. “АШ my 
documents. Color seals denote year, in- 
dex letters, code names.” He tapped the 
boxes proudly. “Where is Loiseau?” he 
asked the Englishman as he walked 
slowly down the rank of stacked tins and 
boxes, stroking them as he read the code 
letters. 

“The second door,” said the English- 
man, casing his way past the boxes. 

Maria knew exactly what she had to 
do. Jean-Paul said she'd never made one 
real decis her life. It was not 
hysteria nor heightened emotion. Her 
father stood in the doorway, tins of docu- 
menis in his arms, nursing them as 
though they w. newly born child. 
He smiled the smile she remembered 
from 1 
like that of a tightrope walker 
step off the platform. This time his pow- 
ers of persuasion and manipulation were 
about to be tried to the utmost, but she 
had no doubt that he would succeed. 
Not even Loiseau was proof against the 
smooth, cool method of Рац, her puppet- 
master. She knew Рац mind and could 
predict the weapons he would use: He 
would use the fact that he was her father 
and the grandfather of Loiscau's child. 
He would use the hold he had over so 
many important people. He would use 
everything he had and he would win. 

Паш smiled and extended a hand. 
"Chief Inspector Loiseau,” he said. “1 
think 1 can be of immeasurable help to 
you—and to France. 

She had her hand 
one looked at her. 
Loiscau motioned toward a chair. The 
Englishman moved aside and glanced 


open now. No 


188 quickly around the room. Her hand was 


around the butt by now, the safety catch 
slid down noisclessly. She let go of the 
andbag and it sat upon the gun I 
cory. 
“The ship's position,” said Dau, "is 
arly marked upon this char. It 
seemed my duty to pretend to help 
them.” 
“Just а moment," said Loiseau w 
The Englishman saw what was hi 
pening. He punched toward the 1 
ig. And then Бап realized, just as the 
pistol went ой. She pulled the trigger 
ain as fax as she could. Loiscau 
bbed her by the neck and the Eng 
lishman punched her arm. She d 
the bag. Dait was through the door 
fumbling with the lock to prevent them 
chasing him. He couldn't operate the 
lock and ran down the corridor, There 
was the sound of the outer door opening. 
Maria wrenched herself free and ran aft- 
cr Dau, the gun still in her hand. Every- 
опе was shouting. Behind her she heard 
сай, stop that 


man 

The soldier with the tray of coffee may 
е heard Loiseau's shout ог he may 
have seen Maria or the Englishman 
dishing a pistol. Whatever it was 
1 prompted him, he threw the way of 
ide. He swung the rifle around 
xk like a hula hoop. The stock 
mmed into his hands and a burst of 
¢ echoed across the waterfront almost 
simultancously with the sound of the 


coffee 
his 


coffee cups smashing. From all over the 
waterfront, shots were fired: Maria: 
bulles mus have made very little 
difference. 


You can recognize a head shot by a 
high-velocity wcapon; a cloud of blood 
particles appeared like vapor in the 
above him as Datt and his armlul of 
tapes, film and papers was punched olf 
the waterfront like a вой Бай. 

“Th called Loiseau. The high 
power lamps operated by the soldiers 
probed the spreading tangle of recording 
apes and films that covered the w 
like a < A great bubble of 
air rose to the surface and a duster of 
pornographic photos slid apart and drift: 
ed away. Datt was in there among it, and 
fora moment it looked as though he were 
still alive as he turned in the water very 
slowly and laboriously, his stiff arm 
dawing out through the c a swim 
mer doing thc crawl. For a moment it 
seemed as И he stared at us. The tapes 
aught in his fingers and Ше soldiers 
inched. "He's turning over, that's all." 
said Loiseau. “Men float face down, 
women face up. Get the hook under his 
collar. He's not a ghost man, just a 
corpse, a criminal corpse." 

A soldier піса to reach him with a 
fixed bayonet, but the lieutenant stopped. 
him. "They'll say we did it if the body is 
full of bayonet wounds. They'll say we 
tortured him. 


Loiseau turned to me and passed me a 
small reel of tape in a шъ “This is 
urs," he said. "Your confession, I be- 
ieve, although I haven't played it." 

“Thanks,” I said. 
was the 


agreement," sid 


“that was the 


agree- 


Datt's body floated deeper now, even 
more entangled in the endless tape and 
film. 

Maria had hidden the gun, or perhaps 
shed thrown it away. Loiscau didn't 
look at her. He was concerned with the 
body of Datt—too concerned with it, in 
t, to be convincing. 

d, "Is that your ambulance, 
She nodded; Loiseau was listen 
g, but he didn't turn round. 

Thats a silly place to leave it. Its a 
temible obswuction, youll have ıo 
move.” I tumed to the Belgian para 
officer. “Let her move it,” 1 said. 

Loiseau nodded. 

"How far?” said the officer. He had 
mind like Loiseau's, Perhaps Loiseau 
id my thoughts. He grinned. 
ght,” said Loiseau. “The 


ved to get a 
he said and silu- 


‘Yes, sir 
cd Loiseau gravely. He walked toward 


direct order. 


the ambulance, 

Maria touched Loiseau’s arm. “ГИ go 
to my mother’s. I'll go to the boy,” she 
said. He nodded. Her face looked strange, 
for only one eye was made up. She 
smiled and followed the offic 
Why did you do that 
asked. 

"I couldn't 


Loiseau 
isk you doing it,” I said. 
oud never forgive yourself.” 
It was light now. The sea had taken 
on a дами сув sparkle and the birds 
k food. Along the 
ng gulls probed for tiny 
shellfish left by the tide. They carried 
them high above the dunes and dropped 
them upon the concrete blockhouses. 
Some fell to safety in the sand, some 1 
the ancient gun emplacements 
n, some fell onto the con 
crete but did not crack: these last were 
retrieved by the having gulls and then 
dropped again and again. The tops of 
the blockhouses were covered with tiny 
fragments of shell, for eventually cadh 
shell cracked. Very high, one bird flew 
purposefully and alone on a course as 
ight as а light beam. Farther along 
the shore, in and ош of the dunes, a 
hedgehog wandered, aimlessly  snifhng 
d scratching at the colorless grass and 
tching the gulls at their game. The 
hedgehog would fly higher and strong- 
сг than any of the bitds, if only he 
knew how 


81 


This is the conclusion of a new novel 
by Len Deighton. 


“TU bet you it isn’t his navel he’s contemplating.” 


189 


PLAYBOY 


190 


PLAYBOY 
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