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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN OCTOBER 1968 • 75 CENTS 


HOW TO MEASURE YOUR S.Q.* 
AN EXPLOSIVE INTERV 
WITH CONSUMER CRL 
RALPH NADER 


"RITE OF LOVE" BY 
J. P. DONLEAVY, 
AUTHOR OF “THE GINGER MAN” 


SITAR VIRTUOS 
ON HIS LIFE А 


RAVI SHANKAR 
D HIS MUSIC 
LEN. DEIGHTON 
GUIDE TO MEXICO 


SINGER BAI 
IN A NU 
FROM HER F 


FALL & WINTE 
FASHION FO C 


YOUR 
POLI 


HOW THE 
NEATNIKS GOT 
THEIR STRIPES 


є; 


й 

4 
> 
: 


One trip to Sears did it! For wide 
stripes, skinny stripes, even dash- 
ing two-tone stripes. All at Sears, 
Roebuck and Co.—where style is 
in and wrinkles are out! 

Perma-Prest* is the secret. 
Shirts just tumble dry and never 
need ironing. No puckery seams, 
nowilted collars, no wrinkled cuffs. 
It's the Neatnik shirt. At Sears. 


(C c 


Note to Neatniks: Only 


has the Perma-Prest 


shirts you like. 


/ 


\ | THE WATERPROOF 
A ' 
> Ж ) \ à 1 " É - 
cs v. BOURBON 
s Soda, water or ice cant drown Antiques clean, nutty aroma. 
And mixing wont dampen the pleasure of its rich, rare flavor. 

А „This is bourbon as it was always meant to be! 4 
N } ANTIQUE...undiluted pleasure y^ ast 
` \ х 3 


( 27] 
ад, a ht 
Uy rag! 
Bourton Wiskey 


i'illed in the Slow О) 
ed Way For hd 42 |) 


PLAYBILL o оох 

ой calls ир such 
bucolic images as fat harvest moons and 
romantic hay r 
this усаг have taken on a sunny, 
flavor for millions of spectator sports- 
men. From the 12th through the 27th, 
the wide world of sports will be cen- 
tered on the Olympic in Mexico 
City: and as a fact-filled complement to 
the event, Tr: ditor Len Deighton 
presents jM selective Baedek 
1's capital city and 
wise words plus a detailed chart di 
signed especially for aficionados of the 


DONLEAV 


nde. 
Games of another sort—the psycho- 
mes we all play and their 
influence on all aspects of 
our lives—come under analytic scrutiny 
this month. If you've ever wondered 
xactly where you stand in the spectrum 
of sexual types that range from Don 
Juan to Walter Mitty, What's Your SQ. 
(Sexual Quotient)? will satisfy your 
y about the matter, After taking 
this indepth, psychometric test, com- 
pare your results with the accompany- 


pervasive 


DEIGHTON 


g analyses for an illuni 


into your libi 

A good p 
budding affair with E; 
be traced. directly 


1 person 


of the Western world’s 
ern culture may 
fluence of 


to the 
India's master. 


one 


ma 
ionally 


demonstr: 
My Music, My Life—a backward glance 
t his demanding apprenticeship and an 
‘nt musical scene, 
which will be part of bis forthcoming 
Simon & Schuster book of the sam 
title. Founder of the Kinnara School of 
Music, Ravi now divides his 
time between frequent concert dates 
and teaching im the school's Los Angeles 
branch (the other is in Bombay). A tull- 
length documentary movie about him—called Messenger Qut. 
of the East—is duc Гог release сапу next ye; 

Ralph Nader tells it like it is—as he sees it—in Осо! 
Playboy Interview. In outspoken conversation with inter- 


KELLEY 


viewer Eric Norden, the author of Unsafe at Any Speed con- 
tinues his single-minded, singlehanded consumer crusade against 
the industrial establishment and the culpable Government 


agencies it manipulates 

A tender evocation of a French boy's amorous initiation into 
manhood by his English governess, Rite of Love—this month's 
lead fiction—is stated to become part of J. P. Donleavy's 
sixth work, The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B. Due for 
publication by Delacorie Press/A Seymour Lawrence Book, we 
believe Beatitudes rivals—il it does not surpass—his previ 
works, including The Ginger Man. A rollicking, ribald sequel, 
featuring Balthazar as an undergrad, will lead off next month's 
issue. Brought up in New York City and educated at Dublin's 


Trinity College, Donleavy now lives 
with his family on the Isle of Man. 
October fiction’s varied fare also 
Ken М. Purdy's Shall 1 
Go Under the Ice Together?, the 


includes 


on 


tale of a traumatic night shared by two 
college students and remembered in 
Jeremiah McMahon 
gives a funny and fantastic twist to the 
suburban problem of oddball neighbors 
when he pits a respectable hippie fam- 
ily against Mr. Swift and His Remark- 
able Thing. McMahon reports that he 
spent 15 years in the theater (once 
ring the stage with a young unknown 
named Julie nd another ten 
years painting before he turned to writ- 
ing. Right now, he's putting the finish- 
ing touches on a novel called Not in 
Our Stars and has several more stories 
about his hippie brood in the wor 
fanciful but no less risible is 
m Melvin Kelley's The Dentist's 
Wife, an unheroic saga of a smalltime 
hood n 
D. D. S. who's ured of filling the 
old cavity. Kelley, author of four books 
—dem, A Drop of Patience, Danc- 
em on the Shore and 4 Different 
Drunmer— 
e-incomplete big book, 
France, “I'm learning 
and the French,” he says. "At the 
time, I'm trying hard to learn English 

Situation ethics ranks as 


their maturity. 


TURDY 


red to help out a 


hich he calls "chapters in 
now 


a popu- 


la al gambit these. days, but 
cult to select the ethic 
that best marches the situation. In 


The Perilous Plight of Sir George, Kan- 
dron the Dragon and the Twenty De- 
lectable Virgins, Alexis Gilliland takes. 
a lighthearted whack at the problem 
and shows how we can stay on the 
angels’ side of the wobbly moral Г 
is is Gilliland's first s 


arti- 
ppeared in The National Bu- 
andards Journal of Research. 

Also on hand in this bright autumn issue: Fashion Director 
Robert L. Green previews avant seasonal attire in our Fall è 
Winter Fashion Forecast; singer Barbara McNair makes her 
debut as a sex star in nude scenes from If He Hollers Let Him 
Go—her first film—and as a model in a special rLavnoy shoot- 
ng; Dutch treat Phil Bloom, who achieved ion first 
t year by appearing on screen in the altogether, thereby add. 
ng a new dimension to the term boob tube, is presented here 
id in the same costume; we travel to Sun Valley for a glimpse 
t High Life in the Round, a multileveled Playboy Pad and 
ski lodge that's rugged stone on the outside but solid comfort 
within; Food and Drink Editor Thomas Mario looks at the 
eggsotic side of gourm 1 Egespo "63; and the ballot for 
our annual Jazz & Pop Poll once again gives you a chance to 
name the best in the business. All of which—plus а most 
unmelancholy Dane, Playmate Majken Haugedal—makes for a 
sure winner of an entertainment package in this Olympic month. 


MC MAHON 


telev 


vol. 15, no. 10—october, 1968 


PLAYBOY. 


Ravi Shankar. 


Reel McNair 


Forecast 


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PHOTOGRAPHY DY: GAIL ANDERSCH. тон 
BRONSTEIN, P. 125 (2); MARIO CASILLE, Р. 3; DAVID 
CHAN, P 3 (2): ALAN CLIFTON, P. 3« DWIGHT 


MODKER, P. 124; MARVIN KONER, P. 127-111 (33 
WILLIAM FIERCE, Р. 134; POMPEO POSAR, Р. 109: VERN. 
т. 131. ILLUSTRATION P. 109 BY KIM WHITESIDES. 


PLAYBOY, OCTOOER, 1968, VoL. 15, WO. 10. 
PUBLISHED момтнат ay Нин PUBLISHING Co: 
INC, MM NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS 
PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO. 
CAGO, itt., AND AT ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. 
aUDiCRITIONS: M THE U. з., $9 гоп ONE YEAR. 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL s 
DEAR PLAYBOY 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS... 25 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR.. gue cf] 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM. - с= : 67 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: RALPH NADER—candid conversation. 73 


RITE OF LOVE—fiction : 5 J.P. DONLEAVY 86 
PLAYBOY'S FALL & WINTER FASHION FORECAST— — ROBERT L GREEN 91 
ALEXIS A. GILILAND 99 
—— THOMAS MARIO 100 
MR. SWIFT AND HIS REMARKABLE THING fiction... JEREMIAH MCMAHON 103 
TV'S FIRST NUDE—pictorial... 105 
THE DENTIST'S WIFE—fiction 109 


THE PERILOUS PLIGHT OF SIR GEORGE—article 
EGGSPO '68—food . 


MY MUSIC, MY ШЕЕ тето! 


au RAVI SHANKAR 110 
DANISH IMPORT—playboy's playmate of the month o... 114 
LAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor 2. 122 
SHALL WE GO UNDER THE ICE TOGETHER?—Í —— -KEN W. PURDY 124 


iMEXICO!—travel c4 EN DEIGHTON 127 


THE 1969 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL—jazz/pop —— 33 
ALVAREZ —arlicle. ооо HERBERTA НШМСКЕ 141 
THE REEL MCNAIR—; vez 143 
WHAT'S YOUR SEXUAL QUOTIENT?—quiz mue __ M9 
THE MYSTERIOUS LOVER—ribald classic... с 151 
A PLAYBOY PAD: HIGH LIFE IN THE ROUND—modern living... E53 


HUGH M. HEFS 


EK editor and publisher 
A. С. SPECTORSKY associate publisher and editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL art direclor 


JACK J. KESSIE managing editor VINCENT T, TAJIRI picture editor 
SHELDON wax assistant managing edilor; MURRAY FISHER, MICHAEL LAURENCE, NAT 
LEHRMAN senior editors; ROBIE MACAULEY fiction editor; JAMES GOODE articles editor; 
ARTHUK RRETCHAIER associate articles editor; зом OWEN modern living editor; pavio 
BUTLER, HENRY FENWICK, LAWRENCE LINDERMAN, ROBERT. J. SHEA, DAVID STEVENS, ROBERT 
ANTON WILSON associate cdilors; ROBERT L. GREEN fashion director; DAVID TAYLOR. 
fashion editor; LEN DEIGIION travel editor; REGINALD POTTERTON. travel reporter; 
THOMAS MARIO food @ drink editor; J. raut GETTY contributing editor, business © 
finance; ARLENE BOURAS copy chief; KEN W. PURDY, KENNETH TYNAN contributing 
editors; RICHARD Kore administrative edilor; JULIA BAINBRIDGE, DURANT IMBODEN, 
ALAN RAVAGE, DAVID STANDISH, ROGER WIDENER, RAY WILLIAMS assistant edilors; BEV 
CHAMBERLAIN associate picture editor; MARILYN GRABOWSKI, TOM SALLING assistant 
picture editors: MARIO CASILLI, DAVID CHAN, DWIGHT HOOKER, POMPEO POSAR, ALEXAS 
ава staf} photographers; RONALD BLUME associate art director; NORM SCHAEFER, ВОВ 
POST, GEORGE KENTON, RERIG POPE, ALFRED ZELCER, TOM STAEWLER, JOSEPH PACI 
assistant art directors; WALTER KKADESYCH, LEN WILLIS, BOBDIE SHONTLIDGE ак 
assistants; MICHELLE ALTMAN assistant cartoon editor; лонх MASTRO production 
manager; ALLEN VARGO assistant production manager; PAT PAPAS rights and per- 
‘missions ® HOWARD W. LEDERER advertising director; JULES KASE, JOSEPH GUENTHER 
associate advertising managers; SHERMAN KEATS chicago advertising manager; 
ROBERT A. MC KENZIE detroit advertising manager; NELSON FUTCH promotion direc- 
tor; WELMUT Lomcn publicity manager; BENNY DUNN public relations manager; 
ANSON MOUNT public affairs manager; THEO FREDERICK personnel director; JANET 
ачылам reader service; ALVIN WIEMOLD subscriplion manager; ELDON SELLERS 
Special projects: mower s. vREUss business manager and circulation director. 


t icl ү е „Апа women start turning 
up in COLI ТЕШЕП SERN to I Bloods Mary Red. Blizzard Lime. 
Screwdriver Orange. Mule Copper. And Martini Silver. 

Pick your favorite Smirnoff drink.Then pick a woman to match. 


Harle 
avidson 
rmers 


Bo 


The new Rapido explodes into 1969! 
Here's a 125 cc stick of dynamite that 
weighs in with the 80's ond 90's, but 
accelerates post the 175's. This yeor, 
Rapido comes in two models — a swing- 
ing street version and this hot new 
scrambler with high pipe, perforated 
heat shield, large sprocket and special 
off-the-road tire. Either way, Rapido 


will turn out the crowd and turn in the 
winning performance. Low end torque, 
wheelies and effortless top speed — 
$400 in the street version. This is the 


onethey'll be talking about all year long. 
Getinon the conversation. Your Harley- 


Davidson dealer has the cycle, low- 


cost financing and insurance. Harley- 


Davidson Motor Co., Milwaukee, Wis. 


„outperform 


everything 


on two W 


h 


eels, 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


ЕЗ sooncss rover MAGAZINE - PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 н. MICHIGAN AVE, CWICACO, ILUNDIS 60611 


FULBRIGHT'S NEW ORDER 

Senator Fulbrights extremely impor- 
tant artide (For à New Order of Priori- 
ties at Home and Abroad, т\лүзоу, 
July) revealed in detail the dilemma 
facing our nation both at home and 
abroad. His arguments are beautifully 
his logic is irrefutable. The article 
leads to the inescapable conclusion that 
the United States, once the most revolu- 
tionary nation in the world, is now the 
most unrevolutionary. Unless we dearly 
define our national priorities, abandon 
the arrogance of our power and the 
present betrayal of our cherished ideals, 
our nation will become an empire of the 


traditional kind, destined to leave what. 
Fulbright calls "a legacy of dust." 
Even if strength of numbers and fire- 
power finally were to overcome the Viet 
Cong. and even if Ho Chi Minh would 
surrender or die, our American commit- 
ment, as secn by President Johnson, 
would not be ended. We would still be 


the sole military and economic support 
of a weak Saigon regime (probably 
суеп weaker than the present militarist 
regime) cost of from 10 billion to 
15 billion dollars a year—for many, 
many years to come. 
rLAYBOY has performed a real and 
needed public service in publishing Ful- 
bright's outstanding article. Let us hope 
that dramatic changes in our national 
commitments will be made next ycar. 
Even then, it may be too late. 
Senator Stephen M. Young 
United States Senate 
Washington, D. C. 


After reading the artide by Senator 
Fulbright, I can only wonder why morc 
of our leaders do not share his views. His 
was a most eloquent statement of what 
America should strive to be. 

Charles C. Naddeo 
Chambersburg, Pennsyl 


nia 


How strange to read an article by a 
politician and find oneself agreeing with 
every word. Senator Fulbright’s article 
on new priorities was moving and im- 
pressive. Stranger yet, how is it possible 
that we do not heed his advice? When 
will we realize that our greatest potenti 
for constructive influence in for 
fairs lies in the principle of democracy 


and the practice of it here at home? 1 
hope your thoughtful, superb mag: 
zine is being read where it will do the 
most good: in the homes of middle-class 
America. This is where the thinking 
must change if we are to fulfill Ameri- 
ca's promise. 


Robert J. Bevans 
Unalakleet, Alaska 


Senator Fulbright’s article on the new 
priorities needed in this country is а 
masterly summation. I would add only 
one point: It isn't that the problems we 
face are so mysterious—many are per- 
fectly open to rational attack. The 
difficulty at this moment in our history 
is that both political parties have be- 
come hermetically sealed off from the 
common sense of the people. The par- 
ties are the property of professionals 
hangers-on, gravel merchants, 
ambitious courtroom loyalists, ctc. 

Of the close to 6,500,000 Democrats who 
voted in the recent primaries, the 80 per- 
cent who voted for McCarthy and Ken 
nedy chose programs for change. Yet the 
remaining 20 percent seem to control 
the party apparatus. Anyone desiring 
to change the things are—both in 
our cities and in our foreign policy— 
can no longer avoid facing the greatest 
ingle barrier to change: party control 
by political bosses. The very least that we 
had hoped for was an open Democratic 
Convention, at which challenges to Ad 
ministration policies would be debated. 
I hope Senator Fulbright will begin a 
movement in the Senate to support Mc- 
thy's demand for just such an open- 
ing for a new politics. 

We will breathe a little hope when 
the political system begins to reflect the 
realities that the controllers of both 
parties are resolved to keep to themselves. 


Fulbright is a great public servant. 

Arthur Mille 

Roxbury, Connecticut 

Best known for his “Death of a Sales- 

man,” playwright Miller recently added 

“The Price” to his impressive list of 
credits, and campaigned for McCarthy 


I agree with Senator Fulbright, but I 
cannot help holding him—and others 
like him—responsible for most of the 
social ills he describes. His article sold 


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Remember, there's a new Garrard 
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For complimentary Comparator 
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PLAYBOY 


10 


FLAMING DUCK 


Grand Marnier 


Select a large Long Island 
duckling to serve 4 people. 
Salt and pepper, and place 
one-half an orange and a sprig 
of parsley in the cavity. 


1 


Roast in 
325 degree 


GR oven for 


н #) 2 hours. 
ЛЬ ZA) Baste with 
ESP IP uem 

Гена быс 
Ü D OZQD. «ste 
cooking. 


Place under a medium flame for 
the last 15 to 20 minutes to get 
a good brown crust. 
Put the cooked 
duck on a hot 
platter; garnish 
with orange 
set 
Heat % cup 
of Grand 
Marnier slightly, 

pour over duck 

and set it aflame Gy 
just as you AN 
bring it to 
the table, 


ns. 


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me on practically every solution he came 
up with; why couldn't he sell the Presi- 
dent and his Cabinet? 
Hedley S. Berger 
Corpus Christi, Texas 


J. William Fulbright’ bril- 
liant, low-key, persuasive diagnosis of the 
mental ills that afflict our. Government 
and our society. He is not a carping 
ic nor a pessimist. His is a construc 
tive image, and his vision of a return to 
noblest American traditions—updated 
for contemporary application—is the sole 
guaranıce that we will have a future. 
David Schoenbrun 
New York, New York 
Author of the award-winning “The 
Three Lives of Charles de Gaulle,” 
Schoenbrun is a correspondent for CBS. 


Senator Fulbi 
umber of subtile 
Am 


rticle contained 
Innuendoes about 
ad policies that 
Stalin, Мао Tse- 
tung and Ho Chi Minh proud of him. 
His claim that the Armed Services and 
the defense industries form a giant so- 
cialist concentration is grossly deceiving. 
Fulbright is pointing the “Red” finger at 
the one segment of our society that will 
prevent communism from gaining a 
suong foothold in our country. At the 
same time, he asks the legislature to 
promote huge soc programs under 
the guise of the ci rights movement— 
and aid for the poor. It is obvious that 
the Senator knows little of military life 
and even less of the American skills re- 
quired in the defense industries. Не 
sounds a great deal like Sovict Commu- 
nist Party chief Leonid І. Brezhnev, 
who was quoted by The New York 
Times News Service as follows: "Mo 
nopolist America is decaying, but it in- 
evitably will be replaced by another 
America, ап Americi of the working 
people. We see 
We sce the grow 
ment. We hear the voice of the working 
class, the future. master of the United. 
States, which is sounding ever louder.” 
Ts this Fulbright's new order of priorities? 
David W. Kelley 
Framingham, Massachusetts 
The Senator is probably closer in his 
views to those expressed by former Presi- 
dent Eisenhower when he publicly 
warned the nalion against the military- 
industrial complex. 


our 


I was shocked to hear that an oppo- 
nent of Senator Fulbright in his race for 
re-election condemned the nguished. 
Senator for his article in the July 
»rAvnov. Opponent Bobby Hayes said 
he didn't think Fulbright should have 
been associated with rLAvBov, because 
“That magazine makes me sick to my 

Because of this statement, 
y capitalize on the votes of a 
few narrow-minded people who believe 


that PLAYBOY is pornographic—people 
who are too busy condemning it to ever 
bother to read it. 

Robert Smith 

State Univer 


„ Arkansas 


doubt gain votes for Fulbright—instead 
of having the reverse effect desired by 
the assailant. The deplorable thing is 
that the Hayes blast will travel out of 
the state and reinforce the old ignorant 
fundamentalist /hillbilly image that Ar- 
have come so close to overcom- 
n recent ycars—thanks largely to 
Fulbright and certain other members of 
our Congressional delegation. If would- 
be Senator Hayes could forget his ob. 
vious prejudices and examine the real 
nature of rrAvnov, he would, of course, 
discover what informed, open-minded 
people already know: that PLAYnov is a 
sophisticated and intellectual 


Reuben R. Thomas 
ayetteville, Arkansas 
Apparently, there are more informed, 
open-minded voters than Hayes im 
agined: Fulbright easily won the Demo- 
cratic primary, polling 208,882 votes to 
Hayes! 18,664, an unexpectedly vigorous 
vole of confidence. However, in the gen- 
eral election next month, the Senator 
faces stifj opposition from Republican 
Earl Bernard, who has the support of 
Governor Winthrop Rockefeller. 


HAVENLY DAYS 
I have just finished readi 
Hopnoodle’s Haven of Bliss, 
Shepherd (rrAvnov, July). The т 
Clear Lake with the delightful Shepherd 
troop was both witty and down to earth. 
It brought back fond memories of vaca- 
tions past, right down to the chicken 
trucks and crippled Oldsmobile. 
Nancy Williams 
Portland, Oregon. 


TELEVISIONARY 

In his illuminating article Must the 
Тейит Be the Message? (PLavnoy, 
July), Newton Minow has ably and im- 

inatively assayed the promise of public 
n and put its role in perspective. 
Public television, as Minow so rightly 
puts it, has a brilliant potential—and one 
thoroughly compatible with commercial 
telev ices need not and 


plement the other. That is why CBS is 

а firm supporter of public television. 
Frank Stanton, President 
Columbia Broadcasting System 
New York, New York 


І was fascinated by Newton Minow's 
Must the Tedium Be the Message?. He 
observed that a major project for TV 


m Do 
Sportcoats тесеп 
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plaid on a predominantly burnt grass 
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About sixty dollars. 


Where-To-Buy-li? Use REACTS Card— 


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for men 
uncorks 


A rousing new fragrance 
that stays with you. 


After Shave, Cologne 
and other essentials 
for the lusty life. 


Created for men by Revlon. 


should be a scrics on American history, 


substantial "dramatic productions por 
traying America's past—the most defini 
tive, honest history ever produced.— 
using the best writers, historians, direc- 
nd film crews.” Quite a coincidence 
—that exactly describes a series I am 
now working on. 1 couldn't have de- 
scribed it better. 


tors а 


Walter. Schwimmer 
Chicago, Hlinois 
Producer Schwimmer is the man be- 
hind such television series as the "World. 
Series of Golf.” “The Gisco Kid" and 
“Championship Bridge.” 


I stand to applaud Newton Minow's 
article. A deep examination. of our so- 
Ciety's basic roots is desperately required 
—and an honest, televised American 
history is а vital first step. 

Ted Ball 
Richmond, California 


As has been proved so often in the 
past, no one has a greater sensitivity to 
the total role of broadcasting than New- 
ton Minow. More than that, he has the 
capacity to point the way for the future. 
Must the Тейит Be the Messag 
makes this clear—and should encourage 
discussion and then action 

Louis G. Cowan 
New York, New York 

Mr. Cowan was president of CBS 

from 1958 to 1959, 


PLAYING FOR KEEPS 

The generation gap seems to 
permanent piece of psychological 
raphy, but I'm certain John Cheever's 
Playing Fields (rtAvnov, July) short- 
ened the distance a bit. His story of a 
young man's frustrations and rebellion 
inst the adult world was a fine piece 
and reaflirms that Cheever is 


of writin 


among the best authors around today. 
Jim Fe 


New Orleans, Louisiana 


guson 


FAR RIGHT OR WRONG? 

1 just finished reading Ralph Schoen- 
stein's brilliant Ary Country, Far Right 
or Wrong in the July pLaynoy, The 
ire in this account of the Second Consti- 
tutional Convention was excellent and 
pointed up with painful cloquence one 
of our greatest contemporary political 
tragedies: the frenzied anticommunism 
that has thrived in America, in various 
forms, since the Bolshevik revolution. 
The greatest irony is that anticommu- 
nism has proved to be a most ineffectual 
means of dealing with our adversaries. 
An old piece of advice is, “Know thy 
enemy”; but at the slightest mention of 
Red,” many Americans will 
aming in the opposite direction. 


the word 
run sc 


Hiding from communism is hardly a 


sensible way to combat it I hope 


Schoenstein's article alleviates this state 
of alfairs, and I thank you for publish- 


ing 


Steven Shabad 
New York, New York 


Alter reading Ralph Schoenstein’s My 
Country, Far Right or Wrong, 1 found 
myself going into hysterics—all the while 
agreeing quite vehemently with him 
The article is a satirical masterpiece 

Sp/4 William Noccker 
Hanksville, Utah 


All Ralph Schoenstein left out was 
Lester Maddox opening the parley by 
reading the Pickrick Papers, then club. 
bing the waiter 
Otherwise, hi 


with an ax handle. 


Sol Weinstein 
Levitiown, Pennsylvania 


А tip о" the hat to Ralph Schoen 
мейш witty insights into tight wing 
America, Extreme conservatism, to be 
sure, is suffering from acute par 
Тау deportment seems endemic to the 


поа. 


movement. 
Terry M. Lerman 
"Toronto, Ontario 


My Country, Far Right or Wrong 
really made me sad. I am a conservative 
who spends half his time trying to 


convince fellow “right-wingers” thi 
PLAYBOY, The New York Times and E 
gene McCarthy are not all part of some 
tanic plot on the part of international 
Jewish bankers to pollute the white race 
—and then you have to go and publish 
an irresponsible smear like that. 
Scriously 


how would you like an arti- 
cle that put eravuov in the same bag as 
the hard-core, sadomasochistic pornos 
raphy mags; that lumped you with the 
heroin pushers and the gang rapists? 
You'd resent it, right? And yet, that's 
just what Schoenstein's article amounts 
to: implying, even in jest, that Senator 
Dirksen, William Buckley. Ayn Rand 
tes of the Liberty Amend 


and айо; 


ment are of the same stripe as the neo 
Nazis. the “nigger stompers" and the 
Dr. Strangelove types. Admittedly, some 
of the irresponsible characters on the 
outermost fringe of the right wing make 
equally ridiculous allegations, but two 
wrongs don't make a right. The tee 
nique they are practicing, however, is 


usually decricd as guilt by association 


аъ well it should be. And by using the 
same techniques, Schoenstein lowers hi 
self lo the level of these characters 
further weakens the chance for mean- 
ful debate between liberals and sin. 
cere conservatives—a debate this country 
desperately needs, if we are to unite and 
pull ourselves out of the mess we're in. 

The typical younger conservative 
shares many concerns with PLaynoy 


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Granted, when they're brand new, 
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Government. encroachment on our indi- 
vidual rights, censorship. conscription. 
ire tapping and totalitarianism. The 
ative has simply chosen a dif- 
t way to confront. these. problems, 
By implying that anyone who opposes 
socialism and communism ог favors 
Laissez-faire capitalism is à racist, a mad 
bomber or а fascist. Schoeustein becomes 
an apologist for the lunatic Left. 

David F. Associate Editor 

Freedom Magazine 

Winchester, Massachusetts. 


Schoenstein's article reflected an atti 
tude shared by many people today—that 
all "rightwingers" are so ridiculous 
that they сап be dismissed as а group 
without further consideration. 1 am à 
student and admirer of the philosophy 
of Object ed by Ayn Rand 
and Natha . Their political 
ideals are total, principled respect. for 
individual rights and pure laissezfaire 
п. What these particular an 
thors advocue is different in form 
and in content from every statement 
suggestively attributed to them in Scho 
enstei tide, Such careless misrep. 
resentation makes Schoenstein's. already 
leecble humor no laughing mattei 
Jonathan Carriel, Jr- 
ewood, New Jersey 


cap 


Any author who associates Ayn Rand 
el 
ism shouldn't be allowed pen and 
paper—or sharp instruments. Happily. it 
docs not matter that Schocnstein de- 
spises irrefutable logic—it will exist quite 
well without him. 

Frank Toplitsky 

Willowdale, Ontario 


алып or 


randen with 


and 


KNIGHT PEOPLE 

Damon Knight's July story, Masks, 
was the most chilling work of science 
fiction Гуе read in a 1 We 
seem on the verge of creating people 
that have more artificial organs than 
real ones, and Knights probing of the 
psychological problems involved is impor 
tant—and. darn good reading, 


Masks is splendid—hecause, damn it, 
it's а theme Гуе had in my notebooks 
for about five years. It's a very serious 
опе and not just fantasy. Good for 
Damon—he saved me die trouble and 
probably did a bett 


job of 
Arthur С. Clarke 
Colombo. Ceylon 


SHEL'S А STONE GAS 

Shel Silverstein rules supreme among 
satirical artists. I particularly like his 
wacky looks at various cults and crazes— 
and July's Silverstein Among thc 


Should a gentleman offer a Tiparillo to a librarian? 


She'll read anything shecan get her 
hands on. From Medieval History 
to How-To-Build-a-24 Foot-Iceboat. 
Loves books. Loves new ideas. 

Okay. No doubt, she's seen the 
unusual, slim Tiparillo shape: 

She's been intrigued by the neat, 
white tip. She may even know that 
there are two Tiparillos. Regular, for 
a mild smoke. And new Tiparillo M 
with menthol, for a cold smoke. 

Your only problem is which to offer. 

P.S. If she accepts your Tiparillo* 
remernber to fumble with the 
matches until she decides to 
lightit herself. 
That way, she'll have to 
put down the book. 


PLAYBOY 


16 


Jack 
inthe 
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Hippies is the best to date. Shel has an 
unsurpassed ability to find the true color 
and humor of any way of life. 

James B. Burton 

FPO San Francisco, California 


Even though Silverstein must be too 
old to be trusted, you'd never know it 
from reading his cartoon bestiary of life 
in hippieland. His humor homed in on 
every quirk and eccentricity in Hashbury. 
The piece was a stone gas. 

Ingrid Miller 
San Francisco, California 


KECIAN KUDOS 
Bravo! The Gover Girl Uncovered 
pictorial in the July PLayuoy was stun 
ning. Kecia is an elegant, sophisticated 
girl and Bruno Bernard’s photography 
was great. A winning combi; 
Peter Morgan 
Baltimore, Maryland 


ion 


It's good to sce а small-bosomed gi 
Kecia—in your July issue. And Em glad 
you picked a Cosmo cover girl as your 
model. 

Helen Gurley Brown, Editor 
Cosmopolitan 
New York, New York 


GOSPEL ACCORDING TO PAUL 
Your July interview with Paul New 
man showed him to be а sincere and 
dedicated person, whether he's acting, 
directing or campaigning. He is not 
afraid to voice his opinions, even though 
advanced" society may frown on 
. Its a shame that so many respon 
sible adults don't have Newman's open 
mind. And, contrary to what Newman 
says, I think he'd be a good man in 
office. рілувоү is to be applauded for 
providing such a provocative interview 
Jellrev W. Bersh 
Wilson, North Carolina 


Paul Newman 
g- Certainly, he 


Your interview with 
was vital and refres 


deserves respect as an actor and also as 
an individual deeply involved in the 
theater of humanity. His diligent and 
time-consuming activities in civil rights, 
and his campaign work for Senator Mc 
Carthy, show this clearly. I think New 
man will be 


embered just as he 


wants to be remembered: as a hum 
being who tried. 
Matthew K. Gwynne III 
South Boston, Virginia 


Since Paul Newman mentions the 
somewhat disappointing trip he made to 
adsden, Alabama, several years back— 


з an attempt to help local people fight 
for their civil rights—I thought your 
readers would like to know that the 
journey wasn't in vain. His stimulus for 
us to keep pushing was like a bolt of 
beneficent lightning. 

My office and the Negro-owned motel 


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PLAYBOY 


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WHICH OF THESE BOOKS HAVE YOU 


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at which he stayed are no longer sur- 
rounded by the 50 state patrol cars— 
they are now busy trying to help our 
former governor dispense his "racist ton- 
in the North and the West. The 
schools, hospitals, hotels, motels, swim- 
ming pools and buses are fully integrat- 
ed, and Negroes even have beter jobs 
at the steel and rubber plants (hand Ja- 
bor, of course). We can even hear an 
occasional “Mr.” and “Mrs.” And, be- 
lieve it or not, a Negro can actually sit 
at a lunch counter in the dime store and 
eat a hamburger and drink a Coke (that 
started the whole thing, you know). To 
top it off, we can sce the latest movies 
on the main floor of the theaters, Of 
course, the church and minister situation 
is УШ ay Mr. Newman stated—no 


change, no hope for change. I enjoyed 
reading the interview, Mr. Newman— 
you all come again 
J. W- Stewart, M. D. 
Gadsden, Alal 


ma 


Newman says: "Now it's a popular 
position to be a dove, to oppose our 
Vietnam policy. Suddenly we're consid- 
cred patriots and humanitarians." Might 
I inquire on what he bases that conclu- 
sion? Certainly, he does not speak for 
me. To me, Newman, Spock, Kennedy, 
McCarthy, Соп, et al. will alwajs be 
remembered аз traitors. 

William F. Smith 
Temple, Pennsylvania. 


As faithful followers of Senator Eu- 
gene McCarthy and longtime admirers of 
Paul Newman's acting, we feel that New- 
man has betrayed us. In his and Martin 
Balsam's analysis of types of sexual inter- 
course, they have dishonored a noble 
and juicy profession. To class librarians 
with spinsters as appropriate recipients 
of "mercy fucking,” we find insulting. 

Newman, Mr. Balsam and Governor 
Wallace think in stereotypes that could 
lead to serious civil disorders. Newman's 
remarks may force the American Li- 
brary Association into organizing a 
sleepin on the White House lawn. At 
any rate, librarians, their husbands, 
wives and sweethearts are not going to 


mass 


take this sort of thing standing up (ex- 
cept for the sake of variety)! Newman 
should know that an intimate relation- 
ship with books does not preclude other 
delectable intimaci 
Mildred Sutton, Fay Davis 
Librarians 
John F. Kennedy College 
Wahoo, Nebraska 


I thought the interview with Paul 
Newman was the most lewd, licentious, 
lascivious, filthy, dissolute, obscene in- 


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terview Рт.Аүроү has ever published. But 
it sure as hell was good reading 
Robert W. Ruble 
Stewartville, Minnesota 


COMPUTER DATING 

The Fully Automated Love Life of 
Henry Keanridge (erAvnov, July) by 
n Dryer gave me new hope, I'd just 
about given up having several simulta. 
neous girlfriends, because it always gets 
too damned complicated —it's impossible 
to keep that many versions of reality 
straight in your head. But now—thanks 
to Dryers short story—I'm going to 
take a course in Computer programing. 
Thanks for the tip. 


Tom Corcoran 
Cleveland, Ohio 


CARTOONIC COINCIDENCE 

1 was amused by the Interlandi car- 
toon in your July issue depicting a guy 
carving his and his paramour's initials 
and a drawing of their recent activities 
—on a rock. I immediately spotted the 
initials "B. C." and, endowed as I am 


“Couldn't you just let it go at initials?” 


with lightning reasoning, I figured out 
who that could be (although the possi- 
bilities of Bennett Сеп or Bing Crosby 
are not to be discounted). But the other 

l—"M. S'"—whe did they repre- 
Tran through virtually every actress 


initi 


sent 


and every girl I've known over the past 
three decades. Couldn't think of a single 


one who fit. It was only an hour later, 
when my gorgeous wife called me to 
dinner. 1 remembered that when I n 
ried her, six years ago. her name wi 
Mary Slater. 1 intend to sue you and the 
artist, if сап stop laughing long enough. 
Barnaby Conrad 
San Francisco, California 
Among many other works, author- 
artist Conrad, a onetime matador, wrote 
the wellknown “Encyclopedia of Bull- 


fighting.” 
Ba 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


n the interest of setting before our 
I readers a viable alternative to the Re- 
publican and Democratic Parties’ nomi- 
nees lor the Presidency, we contribute 
this editorial space, as a public service, 
to a mini-Jnterview with the darkest of 
dark-horse candidates—Pat Paulsen. He 
is a man whose fearless Sunday-night 
editorials on The Smothers Brothers 
Comedy Hour have opened the door to a 
grass-roots Presidential draft; a man who 
has dared to tell the voters, “I never met 
a bigot I didn't like"; a man about whom 
the term “credibility gap” could be ap- 
plied only to the space between his cars 
Competing against such formidable op- 
position as Snoopy (the World War One 
flying ace), the ever-popular Mrs. Yetta 
Bronstein, Lar (“America Ей 
Mrs. Lucy Mayberry (a 62-year-old great- 
grandmother from Sacramento) and 
Louis Abolafia (the Love Party candi- 
date), among others, Paulsen—nominated 
by acclamation at the recent Stag Party 
convention in Tijuana, Mexico—has far 
outdistanced his advers ng 
willing to meet "any time, anyplace" 
with the press. 

Taking him at his word, we asked 
Paulsen to meet us at 4:25 A.M. in the 
stock room of a Chicken Delight shop in 
beautiful downtown Burbank. Entering 
the service entrance precisely on time, 
we found the candidate ready for us— 
surrounded by c 


ries by b 


n placards and 
standing behind a flag-d 
Licking his fingers, he swept a mound 
of chicken bones onto the floor, took a 
swig of Diet Dr Pepper from a bottle 
on the lectern, bent over to release a 
few balloons, tapped one of the micro- 
phones in front of him to make sure it 
was "live" and, without any further ado, 
invited. us to “fire away.” 

PLAYBOY: As a show-business personality 
entering the political arena, do you want 
to be thought of as something more than 
just another pretty face? 

PAULSEN: Not really. With my kind of 
drag-em-under-the-sheets animal magnet- 
ism, it would be pointless to fight nature. 
PLAYBOY: During the campaign, how do 


ped lectern 


you intend to handle the issue of your 
notoriously promiscuous sex life? 
PAULSEN: lil carry a purse, mince and 
talk with a lisp—but it probably won't 
work. I'm on Governor Reagan's black 
list of known heterosexuals. 

PLAYBOY: How is it that an ultramascu 
line stud such as you has a first name of 
such unspecific gender? 

PAULSEN. How would you like a slap in 
your face? 

PLAYBOY: In a speech at Yal 
Reagan said. "Anyone would 
out of his skull to nt to be Pres 
Do you feel Reagan's assessment of a 
Presidential aspirants mental qualifice 
tions is accurate? 


„ Governor 


AT TS COUNTRY WEEDS 
аыл 


‘BETTER RACK 
iurc eerop HAN BLUE 


PAULSEN: Yes, particularly in his case. 
PLAYBOY: Why do you want to be Presi- 
deni? 

PAULSEN: Because I want to alleviate the 
suffering of the poor, strengthen the dol- 
lar and curtail inflation, improve foreign 


relations, beef up our balance of pay- 
d because my daughter wants 
a date with George Hamilton. 
PLAYBOY: Doesn't your inexpei 
public life place you at а disad 
over some of the other candidates? 
PAULSEN: Well, I've never been a song- 
and-dance man or a romantic lead, but, 
hell, I'm a television star. I think I could 


ments 


bc our greatest President since Millard 
Fillmore. 

PLAYBOY: From what voting blocs have 
you received the most support? 
PAULSEN: White racists, big money, the 
military-industrial complex, the К. К. K., 
the Mafia and a smattering of Birchers. 
I also got $1.65 from Mergenthaler 
Waisleywillow of Walla Walla, Wash- 
ington. 

PLAYBOY: Don't you think you might 
have a better chance of winning the Nc- 
gro vote if you didn't keep referring to 
them in your speeches as "dirkies" 
PAUISEN: Thosc are just ethnic slips of 
the tongue. Actually, Negroes are more 
brown than black, so 1 really think they 
should be called “brownies.” 1 can't call 
them “blackies" because that reminds 
me of those chewy licorice drops I used 
to cat when I was a kid. 

PLAYBOY: How do you feel about the 
black militants who label ай Caucasians 
“whitey”? 

PAULSEN: I deplore it. If you want to be ac- 
curate, whitey should be called “pinkie.” 
PLAYBOY: Do you agree with those who 
feel that “uppity” Negroes should be 
shot to maim and rude ones shot to kill? 
PAULSEN: No. I'm for sending all the Ne- 
groes back to Africa and all the whites 
back to Europe; then we should start 
over and make this place into a state 
park. АП of the problems we face today 
сап be traced to an unenlightened im- 
migration policy on the part of the 
American Indian. 

PLAYBOY: Do you feel that recent Su- 
preme Court decisions have rendered 
law-enforcement ollicers helpless in their 
never-ending war on crime? 

PAULSEN: No. | agree who 
have been applauding these new restric 
tions. If you haven't heard the applause, 
jt might be because the applauders are 
1 wearing handculls. 

PLAYBOY: If elected, how do you plan to 
handle crime in the streets? 

PAULSEN: We've got to bring it back into 
the home, where it belongs. 

PLAYBOY: Let's turn to foreign policy. Do 
you pledge to go to Vietnam to end the 


with those 


25 


PLAYBOY 


26 


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пом 
rean War campa 
PAULSEN. Gosh, I'd 


war, as did during his Ko- 


ke to go, but 


room yesterday, so I сап 
our boys all the way. 
PLAYBOY: How would you handle the 
gold crisis? 

PAULSEN: Bring in some alchemists and 
go on a lead standard. 

PLAYBOY: Are you in favor of fluorida- 
tion? 

PAULSEN: Let me say thi: 


veland, Ohio, put fluoride їп their 
ter and not one of them is 


ide: If it is poisonous. 
all the garbage in the wa 
really need it, though; our lakes 
streams have never been fluoridated 
I've never yet seen a herring with a cavity. 
PLAYBOY: Do you feel that n 
should remain illegal, so that it will be 
kept out of the hands of teenagers? 

PAULSEN: Yes. Is too good for them, 

PLAYBOY: Do you take drugs yourself? 

PAULSEN: No, not unless you count the 
five pound bag of salpeter I mix into 
my food every day to curb my sexi 


appetite. 

PLAYBOY: How do you keep yourself in 
such incredible physical sh despite 
the vigorous nonstop campaign you've 


been conducting? 

PAULSEN: I watch dirty movies. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think the stag reels 
you're reputed to hi made will haye 
ny effect on your candidacy? 

PAULSEN: That's a vile aspersion, I've 
never st n a stag movie. My part 
was alw; on-usually wearing 
a black mas 

PLAYBOY: Do vou agree with those con- 
servatives who feel that the Jaw should 
crack down on pornography for pro 
PAULSEN: Yes, І do. 1 think pornograpliy 
should be strictly for fun, 

PLAYBOY: What's your position on free 
love? 
PAULSI 


we get. 
programs y 
PLAYBOY: How do you account for the 
fact that your wife supports Louis Abo- 
Таба, the Love Party candidate? 

PAULSEN: Well, we've been married a 
long time. 

PLAYBOY: Whom would you consider for 
a running mate on your ticket? 
PAUISEN: Possibly Jim Ryun. Or maybe 
Dr. Roger Bannister—hes older and 
more experienced. 

PLAYBOY: Ryun was recently scen run- 
ning in a Paulsen sweat shirt. Is 
fact that you own the companies that ni 
ufacture Paulsen sweat shirts, buttons, 


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PLAYBOY 


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stickers and other campaign items? 
PAULSEN: I would never stoop so low a: 
to profiteer off of my own candidacy. I 
will retain only a 51-percent interest in 
these by-products. The rest will be sold 
in single shares to those who vote for me 
—first come, first served. 

PLAYBOY: Is there any truth to the rumor 
that you plan, if elected, to appoint 
Tommy Smothers to your Cabinei? 
PAULSEN: No. And I'd like to go on 
record right now as stating that if 
elected, ГИ drop Tommy Smothers like 
a hot potato. I don't trust entertainers in 
politics. 

PLAYBOY: Are there any Cabinet appoint 
ments you'd care to reveal? 

PAULSEN: Yes. Because of my concern for 
the beautification of America, I'm going 
to appoint one swish to a new position 
I'm creating—Secretary of Interior Deco- 
ration. 

PLAYBOY: How do you plan to deal with 
graft and corruption in Government? 
PAULSEN: 1 plan to stamp it out—by set- 
ting an example of personal integrity 
that will inspire others to follow suit. 
PLAYBOY: Toward that end, what will be 
your first official act? 

PAULSEN: To impeach myself. 

PLAYBOY: Thank you, Mr. Candidate. 


Elsewhere on the campaign trail, our 
man in Montana writes that the list of 
Presidential electors for the Prohibi 
Party on his state's ballot is headed by 


Harry Boozer. 

Truth in Advertising Department, Sex- 
ual Revolution Division: Av ad in The 
Wall Street Journal's Southwest edition 
offered a special for “weekend lovers” a 
the Hilton Inn in Dallas, adding 
sporting proposition—If love doesn't 
bloom in your Hilton Inn room, we de- 
duct 13 percent from bill" In а second 
ad, the Hilton listed the names of some 
recent guests who asked for a refund, in- 
cluding a couple named Mr. and Mis. 
John Doe. 


A hand-lettered w 
ed on the Yorkshire, 


ing notice post- 
agland. moors— 
prodlai IT 15 FORMIDDEN TO THROW 
STONES AT THis stcN—topped our list of 
whimsical public prohibitions by private 
pranksters, until we came across one 
that demanded: ро Nor READ ти si 


He Said It, We Didn't, Department: 
In H. L. Mencken's A New Dictionary 
of Quotations, the entry under “Ph.D.” 
5, in its entirety, "See Quac 


rea 


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PLAYBOY 


32 


best exemplifying the qualities of Ernest 
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The trend toward corporative con- 
glomerates appears to be getting out of 
hand, to judge from this financial note in 
the New Rochelle, New York, Standard- 
Star: “Republic Corporation said it has 
signed an agreement to acquire Calif 


Red power: Bumper sticker seen in 
Phoenix on a car driven by American 
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BOOKS 


Che Guevara, 39 when killed in Bo- 
livia, has become an icon for the rebel 
lious young throughout the world—not 
only as а bearded face on a poster but 
also as a symbol of the revolutionary bu 
manist who would and did commit vio 
lence to make possible a new liberated 
society. For all the books and articles 
that are being rushed into print by and 
about Guevara—including his diaries of 
the [atal Bolivian gueni 
the man himself has not yet been fully 
revealed. Venceremos!: The Speeches ond Writ- 
ings of Ernesto "Che" Guevara (Macmillan). 
edited and with an introduction by John 
Gerassi, is the most comprehensive collec 
tion in English (so far) of Che's own 
works; but while it may be useful for spe- 
cialists in the Cuban Revolution, it re- 
veals little of his private doubts, anxieties, 
uiumphs and frusaations. Таас is a 
short biography by Gerassi of this son of 
stocrats who became a destroyer of 
the established order—but it is only a 
slight prolog to the still unwritten story 
of Guevara's turbulent odyssey. The 35 
pieces by Che himself comprise articles 
and speeches on guerrilla w 
italism and imperialism, human 
economic theory and economic polic 
Ihoug 

dinary charm and wit in conversation, 
he was hardly а di 
it requires the dedication of a Ger 
to absorb the more than 400 pages 
in this textbookish assemblage, There 
are sections, however, as in the essays 
On Revolutionary Medicine and Man 
and Socialism in Cuba, in which Gue- 
vara's vision of a new socialist man— 
powered by an organic sense of commu- 
nity, freely engaged in work that simul- 
taneously fulfills his own needs and 
humanizes his sociey—comes through 
with messianic force. Much more readable 
and considerably more revealing of 


la campaign— 


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Guevara the man is My Friend Che (Dial), 
by Ricardo Rojo, an Argentine lawyer, 
who first met him in 1953. Rojo de- 
s Che's restless search as а youth 
for a vocation that would help him end 
the misery of the Latin-American mass- 
es; his initial skepticism about and then 
total commitment to Castro; and his 
subsequent discovery of the complexi- 
tics of assuring that power, once gained, 
remains both revolutionary and humanis- 
tic. In the process, Rojo also provides an 
instructive overview of Latin-American 
s in the past two decades, par 
ly in terms of the drives and 
pointments of such radical sons 
of the middle class as himself and Che. 
Rojo's account begins and ends in 
. When he and Che were there in 
they found the peasants hostile 
and uncommunicative, Che found them 
the same 14 years later as head of a 
guerilla band, betrayed by peasants 
who felt no bond with this outsider, fi 
eign by nationality and by class. Can 
the Castro-Guevara kind of revolution 
rooted in both violence and vision 
sm, be exported? The question 
s open; but howev iswered, 
Che himself has become a revolutionary 
legend. 


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history of "the vice-society movement THE PETERS SPORTSWEAR CO., 
and book censorship in America" from 2243 W. Allegheny Ave., Philadelphia, Po. 19132. 
the 1870s through the 1930s, author 8 ES x 
Paul S, Boyer foresees "an unending 
struggle between willing and well- 
intentioned censors and those who pre- 
fer . . . to defend full and untrammeled 
freedom for the printed page" The 
same note is struck at the conclusion 
of another book on the same subject, 
Tropic of Cancer on Trial (Grove), an 
equally earnest, equally pedestrian “case 
history of censorship.” Author E. R. 
Hutchison quotes Henry Milles 
battle with negative forces 
perpetually. You win here and lose 
there, After a few years it starts up 
again, on some other level!" In sharp 
disagreement is lawyer Charles Rembar, 
the author of yet a third book on the 
subject, The End of Obscenity (Random 
House). In his final paragraph, he states 
that “obscenity, as the term has been 
commonly understood—the impermissi- 
ble description of sex in literature—ap 
proaches its end. .. . I would go farther 
and add, so far as writing is concerned, 
that not only in our law but in our cul- 
ture, obscenity will soon be gone.” If 
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ity, it is hardly surprising. He is the law- 
yer who fought in the courtroom to 
secure the right to publish Lady Chatter- 
ley’s Lover, Tropic of Cancer and Fan- 
ny Hill. Rather than attempting to 
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PLAYBOY 


36 


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opposite tack. He argued that the books 
were, in fact, sexually stimulating and 
that such а reaction by the reader 
natural, healthy, human response to the 
creative act of the literary artist. More- 
over, Rembar reasoned, the books had so- 
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printed page. In The End of Obscenity, 
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book is too long for what it has to say. 
While other lawyers may quarrel with 
some of Rembar's opinions, his lucid ex- 
planations of legal principles make The 
End of Obscenity instructive for laymen, 


в 


The end of obscenity may well mean 
unsluicing the floodgates for what a cer- 
tain element will certainly call hard- 
cover pornography. But if Billy & Betty 
(Grove), a new novel by Twiggs Jame- 
son, is any example of the genre to come, 
we're in for some hot and uproarious 
times, Obviously, this is the stuff for 
which the Olympia Press of Paris was 
founded. Billy and Betty are a brother- 


1 penis (“no bigger than a cigarette 
filter”) and Betty has a large desire that 
is largely frustrated by a promise she 
made to their late mother never to mar- 
ry until Billy's social future was assured. 
But, alas, underendowed Billy seems to 
have no future socially; and Betty's 
fiancé has threatened to give up the 
wait and, indeed, has vetoed sex until 
Betty is free of Billy. Author Jameson 
uses this Tillie the Toiler situation as a 
springboard from which to launch satiric 
barbs at a gamut of institutions and 
ideas ranging from Alcoholics Anony- 
mous to Norman Mailer and his famous 
essay on “Fhe White Negro.” But what is 
most fun about this zestful book is the 
comic inventiveness Jameson displays in 
creating a completely new and vivid vo- 
cabulary with which to describe both 
xual organs and their coupling rela- 
tionships. Even a hard-core prude will 
have to fight back a smile at the fresh 
Jamesonian prose. 


ses 


Black Rege (Basic Books) penetrates 
the grief, anger and rising pride of 
being black in America, Written by wo 
black psychiatrists, William Н. Grier and 
Price M. Cobbs, it explores the massive 
obstacles that Ameri 
the way of the а 
and wom 
the adaptive mechanisms, many of them 
torturously self-destructive, that blacks 
have created in order to survive. Black 


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Rage, as the title aptly indicates, is no 
dispassionate, academic study. This is 
advocacy psychiatry, intended to provide 
support for black selLassertion and to 
make it viscerally dear to whites that 
there is not very much time before black 
rage becomes apocalyptic —if the treat- 
ment of blacks as colonials continues. 
Grier and Cobbs focus primarily on pre 
scribing for black mental health in what 
they feel is a deeply sick society: “A black 
man’s soul can live only if it is oriented 
toward a change of the social order. A 
good therapist helps a man change his 
inner life so that he can more effectively 
change his outer world." A good therapist 
they continue, must also recognize—and 
this may shock many white psychiatrists— 
that a black man, for his survival, “must 
develop a cultural paranoia in which 


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American has been grief and sorrow.” If 3 

the rage that rises from such grief is no 
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his oppressor, they conclude, the black 
man is moving toward health. 

In The Pump House Gang (Farrar, 
Straus & Giroux), Tom Wolle joyfully 
soars through the "statuspheres" of cy 
clists, surfers, Mods, McLuhanites, m: 
liners, mainstreamers and Hugh M. 
Hefner. Statuspheres, says Wolfe, arc 
what people live in who “feel uncom. 
fortible with the old! status system, 
inherited from Europe.” Instead of play- 
ing the game of rank and snobbery, 
they prefer the game of sports cars, mo. 
torcycles, hi-fis and other gifts of a noisy 
technology. What they're alter, says 
Tom, is “blissful liberation!" Our chron 
icler is indefatigable in his search 
for a subject sufficiently grand or gro- 
tesque to invite his hyperbolic talents 
(If you organize a group of nude guitar 
players in Kalamazoo, the Wolfe will 
soon be at your door) But few things 
in this world Hy as high as Wolfe's en 
thusiayms; as a result, his style often 
overwhelms his subject. In The Electric 
Kool-Aid Acid Test (Farrar, Straus & Gi 
), however, he has found the right 
subject, playing a dizzy Boswell to Ken 
Kesey's psychedelic Dr. Johnson. It а 
sometimes brilliant account of how 
Kesey and his Merry Pranksters make 
LSD a household acidnym throughout 
America, In recent years, Kesey has de 
voted most of his time to being guru to a 
band of pioneer acidheads disporting 
among the redwoods of northern Califor- 
nia. These folks think they have dis- 
covered something very special and they 
set out to bring the whole damn world А i WS a AT 
"into their movie.” They gel à TRIE ДҮҮ, е SS 

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PLAYBOY 


38 


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bus, which they festoon with cameras, 
loudspeakers, microphones, tape record- 
ers and a fantastic tangle of wires. Then 
they all pile in and head hippily for the 
East Coast. The bus’ destination sign 
says FURTHER. The film footage, like the 
book, keeps uncoiling and flashing gray 
images of American squarehood: con- 
fused cops, irate gasstation atrendants, 
gaping pedestrians in their buttondown 
shirts. It’s funny at times; Wolfe is fasci- 
nated by the weird mystique that per 
vades the atmosphere. “How to tell it! 

. the current fantasy . . . I never 
heard any of the Pranksters use the 
word religious to describe the mental 
atmosphere they shared after the bus 
trip... and yet” And yet there is 
little doubt that Kesey thinks he's Christ 


or Gautama Buddha or Robin Hood, 
and the Merry Pranksters his faithful 
disciples. As for Tom Wolfe, he has cast 
himself here as apostle to the infidels. 
David Wagoner is a leading American 
poet whose ventures into fiction have 
met with indifferent critical and com- 
mercial success. In his fifth novel, Baby, 
Come On Inside (Farrar, Straus & Giroux), 
Wagoner comes face to face with a sub 
ject that can fully engage his poet’s im- 
agination—the world of show busines. 
His protagonist is Popsy Meadows— 
crooner, much married, turning 50—who 
awakes in an alcoholic haze one day in a 
strange horel in a strange city that tums 
out to be his home town. Peeling 20s 


off an endless roll of bills, he bribes and 


drinks his way thro ау 
val, convoyed by an entourage of girls, 
stooges and has-beens. Popsys voice is 
gone, victim of a lifetime of selt 
indulgence, and he is pursued by his 
own private furies, represented larger 
than life-size by his aging parents, who 
are authentic Grand Guignol American 
Gothic. It is a monstrous and at times 
monstrously funny novel that is not so 
much read as inhaled, like cigarette 
smoke. The poet's skills are put to good 
cile ambiance of 


we in conveying the 
show busines. Wa 
senses, inflames the nerve ends and, in 
so doing, has produced a book that 
defies rational criticism. Baby, Come On 
Inside gives one an acute sense of being 
hung over, but not drunk enough to 
stop drinking; of feeling that one's body 
is infested with strange b 
ing a shower and a shay 
ing they will be a long time in coming 
It is a cheap, nasty, unpleasant book, 
but such is its impact that these are 
terms of high praise, admiration and 
respect 


oner assaults the 


gs; of need. 


but know- 


In The Lost Landscape (Doubleday), V 
liam H. Whyte, who wrote himself a 
reputation for perceptive thinking with 
The Organization Man, has closed in on 
the struggle to prevent American cities 
and suburbias from choking on human 


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PLAYBOY 


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sardines and to save rural America from 
a fate of gas stations and crummy sub- 
divisions. Not the least of Whyte’s skills 
is his ability to demonstrate factually 
why plans to prevent choke-up 25 years 
from now had better begin gestating 
more or less instantly. And being the 
type who plunges brain-deep into his 
subjects, he has come up with a scheme 
that could well preserve some stretches 
of green and waterrich turf for our 
children's children to relax on and avoid 
going cuckoo. The idea, which with a 
number of variations is the kernel of a 
comprehensive review of people-and-space 
problems, centers on the ancient and 
often misunderstood legal device of the 
easement. Putting the proposition most 
simply, the public acquires from a prop- 
erty owner his assurance that his land 
ill remain untrammeled. For money, 
we buy “his right to louse it up.” Valleys 
and meadows do not become scarred by 
grubby developments and, together with 
adjacent streams and ridges, they remain 
available for the use and enjoyment of 
all We gain because easements are 
cheaper than land purchases and, be- 
sides, the altected land remains on local 
tax rolls. And the landowner benefits 
because he continues to farm the prop- 
erty instead of watching automobiles 
and trucks roar over it. Turning from 
country to city, Whyte seems on weaker 
ground as he argues for more density— 
more imaginative packing—in city hous- 
ing; it is not that the idea is necessarily 
frightening but that its benefits are not 
as well documented as its dangers have 
been by others. All in all, however, he 
has given practical dreamers a view of 
the possible and some indications of 
how it might be achieved. 


James Gould Cozzens has never been 
easy to read: but in his better books 
(Guard of Honor), he has generally 
proved rewarding in one way or anoth- 
er. Unfortunately, Morning Noon and Night 
(Harcourt, Brace & World), his first 
novel in ten years, is not one of his bet- 
ter books. The involuted story centers 
on Henry Worthington, a 60-year-old 
management consultant and writer 
manqué who retraces the twists and 
turns of his life in an attempt to discov- 
cr its ultimate meaning. But belore he 
суеп begins to get down to specifics, he 
ruminates at length about the general 
nature of memory, the importance of 
work, the influence of environment and 
the characters of some of his ancestors, 
Finally, he manages to examine two au- 
cial incidents in his boyhood: one in- 
volving theft, the other sex; to recall a 
first wife who cheated on him and a sec 
fe by acci 
dentally on purpose committing suicide; 
and to deal with a daughter who has 
reacted so traumatically to watching his 
first wife cheat that she herself feels for- 
ever cheated as she runs through three 


ond wife who cheated on 


husbands. In the end, it is the reader 
who is cheated. For all of these skele- 
tons in Henry's closet are as dry as 
old bones, and the New England-type 
morality-and-manners chowder Cozens 
tries to cook out of them lacks all pun- 
gency. He argues for tradition and the 
old verities, but the effect is one of un- 
redeemed irrelevancy. 

The season brings us generous sam- 
plers of two of PLAYBOY's most esteemed 
contributors. With Nabekov's Congeries 
(Viking), editor Page Stegner serves his 
author loyally and his audience su 
perlatively. He gives us some 30,000 
words from Vladimir's memorable mem: 
oir, Speak Memory; the entire delightful 
Pnin; excerpts from other novels; and 
selection of short stories, essays, cri- 
tiques, translations and poems. It’s a 
bounteous introduction to the ле 
oeuvres for those who have somehow 
mised making his acquaintance, and 
a surpassing treat for those who ap- 
preciate his worth. Welcome fo the Mon- 
key House (Delacorte) brings together 
some of the best and best-known stories 
and essays of Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. In- 
cluded are the title story, originally pub- 
lished in PLaysoy; his takeoff on The 
Random House Dictionary; his celebrated 
fictional look into the future, Tomorrow 
and Tomorrow and Tomorrow; and the 
tale of a chess game in which humans 
are the pieces and lost pieces are shot. 


MOVIES 


The title role of Isobel is a triumph 
for Genevieve Bujold, the bobbed and 
buoyant French-Canadian beauty who 
captivated Yves Montand in La Guerre 
Est Finie. Called upon to portray the 
most luminous movie heroine since Elvi- 
ra Madigan, Сепеміё liates vibrant 
warmth and assurance as a girl haunted 
by the enigmas of her family tree. Much 
of her easy way with this complex role 
could stem from the fact that Isabel was 
produced, written and directed by her 
husband, Paul Almond, a former TV di- 
recor making а feature-film debut that 
is superior on all counts: cool, fresh, 
searching, suspenseful and rich in psy- 
chological nuance. The story was filmed 
in color on the raw Atlantic coast line of 
Quebec's Gaspé Peninsula, where Al- 
mond passed his boyhood summers ob- 
serving the lolkways of farmers and 
fishermen. In effect, Isabel is a ghost 
story, though the ghosts Almond sum- 
mons chielly inhabit the mind of his 
heroine, à crisp Montreal office clerk 
who travels home for her mother's fu- 
neral and reluctantly stays on to settle 
the future of an aged uncle. She doesn't 
yet know it, but her unnerving hiatus in 
the bleak farmhouse where she was 
born is also a struggle to find her own 


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PLAYBOY 


42 


Most home movies put people to sleep. 
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identity amid the clutter of ancient bric 
-brac and faded family portraits—mem- 
oirs of a troubled Catholic girlhood. The 
long-ago deaths of her father and 
younger brother at sea obsess her, and 
she broods about rumors of “a phantom 
light” around the house, of skeletons in 
dosets. Yet the mysterious face at the 
window and the footstep on the stair are 
Isabel’s own inventions, like the name- 
less evil she perceives in the appearance 
of a virile, intuitive stranger (effectively 
played by Mark Strange). who bears a 
startling resemblance to pictures of her 
grandfather. Almond’s use of natural 
sound and light are always strongly mo 
tivated rather than merely flashy or 
fashionable, while his shrewd handling 
of local folk as actors adds а dimension 
of truth that seems to affect even the 
professionals in the cast. The usual se- 
quence of events takes a refreshing turn, 
for example, when the hero and heroine 
inexplicably start giggling a moment aft- 
er she has been molested, and he has 
been badly clobbered, by a trio of rapi 
cious drunks. This surprising little film is 
а big first—a cerebral thriller with sou 


Another husband-and-wife team shires 
the honors of Rachel, Rachel, produced 
and directed by Paul Newman, with 
Joanne Woodward in the starring role 
This is my last ascending summer,’ 
says Rachel, a small-town schoolteacher 
of 35, still a virgin and afraid— 
but mostly of herself. Her spinsterish 
tale, adapted from a novel by Margaret 
Laurence, oozes the kind of anguish 
that keeps confession magazines solvent, 
and might be subtitled “She was only an 
undertaker's daughter, buc oh, how she 
came to * Rachel is stifled by s 
vitude to her widowed mother in an 
apartment upstairs from the funeral par- 
lor. She seeks relief through her work at 
school, through imagined sexual encoun- 
ters or masturbation and by attending a 
revival meeting with a colleague (Es- 
telle Parsons), whose chummy eccentric 
ity smacks of Lesbianism. The experience 
that hastens Rachel's emancipation, how- 
tentatively, is her affair with 
ting teacher (James Olson) whom 
she’s known since childhood—a callow 
stud home for a holiday and itchy to 
score. We'd rather not say where it all 
ends, but you can bet it ends sadder but 
wiser. That anyone cares does great 
credit to J 
portrayal п 
id funny—whether she's primly getting 
stoned, daydreaming an overdose of 
sleepybye pills for Momma or awkward- 
ly thanking her would-be seducer for his 
thoughtfulness in having a blanket in 
the car. While Newman's modest film- 
making debut Ы no new trails in 
cinema, he avoids sclf-consciousness most 
of the time—the most dangerous pitfall 
for a freshman loyally 


anne, whose precisely shaded 


es Rachel both vulnerable 


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At last,a tax break for 
millionaires. 


Until now, anybody with a millionaire’s taste 
for Scotch has had to pay the price for it. 

Now, Passport takes pity on you, the over- 
privileged class. 

With careless abandon, we blended the most 
outrageously expensive whiskies that Scotland had 
to offer. And came out with just what we 
expected for our money. 

A great light Scotch. But at the same time one 
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character. | 

If we bottled it in Scotland, we would have to 
charge a premium price, as we do in other 
countries throughout the world. 

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to save you money on taxes. 

Tf no one else wants to look out for the rich, 
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PassportScotch 


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wields his megaphone to see that. noth- 
ing gets between Joanne and the choic- 
est part she's had in years. 

Sophoclean tragedy is served up in a 
whole range of styles in Oedipus the 
King, directed by Philip Saville with 
i is on the sonorities 
al Roche's new translation. Earnest 
d well spoken, but otherwise undistin- 
guished, the movie comes off as the sort 
nmcertime classic encountered in a 
rsity arts festival. It was filmed in 
id around the amphitheater of Dodona 
in northern Greece, with the action on- 
stage spreading out past tiers of empty 
seats, only Zeus knows why, and occa- 
sionally spilling into the surrounding 
countryside- method well calculated 
10 kecp a company of splendid actors as 
confused as its audience. The male cho- 
rus, intoning in unison, 
Lilli Palmer, as the wretched queen Jo- 

а, plays it for reel in а very low key 
—like any worldly upper-class matron 
who finds out she has married her own 
е Christopher Plummer renders 
z style that is always 
threatens to spatter 
blood and tears upon the 
stones of ancient Thebes. This Oedipus 
suffers the symptoms of incipient para- 
rather than the agony of a ruler 
ing his city from pestilence, 
fate; and though the inter- 
pretation is original, it finally reduces 
epic tragedy to case history Ошу 
Richard Johnson as Creon, and Orson 
Welles, with an impressively restrained. 
bit of hamming as the blind seer Tiresi- 
perform Sophodes in proper size. 
Hollywood conducted one of its peri- 
odic talent searches prior to the filming 
of The Heart Is а Lonely Hunter, and the 
movie versi of the late Carson. Mc 
Cullers' sensitive first novel consequent- 
ly introduces one genuine talent— 
newcomer Sondra Locke. Her perform- 
ance as Mick, the scrawny teenaged pullet 
whose growing pains are eased by the 
discovery of classical music and sex, al- 
most atones for the fact that nearly 
everything else about the movie has 
gone awry. Though the book—a minor 
classic in the Southern Gothic mode— 
dealt primarily with the bizarre and ten- 
der relatioi between a deaf-mute 
and a half-wit, miscasting renders that 
i t duo dramatically null and 
void. The gross posturing of TV co- 
median Chuck McCann, as the feeble- 
minded Antonapoulos, passes description 
and Alan Arkin, as Singer the deaf- 
mute, appears for the first time to һе 
working far beyond his depth. Without 
à line to utter, Arkin devotes himself to 
the mastery of sign language and brings 
litle more than bemused mechanical 
proficiency to a role demanding intensi- 
ty, stunted passion and agonizing in- 
sights into one man's frighteningly silent 


a RADLEY METZGER 
Production. 


Б 


starring 
ESSY PERSSON ("I, A Woman") as Therese 
and Anna Gael as Isabelle 
with Barbara Laage / Anne Vernon / Maurice Teynac 
Based on the novel by Violette Leduc 
Screenplay by Jesse Vogel 
Produced and Directed by RADLEY METZGER 
A production of Amsterdam Film Corporation / Filmed in ULTRASCOPE 


Released through A AUDUBON FILMS 


[Persons UNDER 18 CAN NOT BE ADMITTI ED | 45 


PLAYBOY 


46 


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world. The actors are handicapped 
throughout by Thomas C. Ryan's diffuse 
script, which attempts to dovetail all the 
town's hardship cases—the suicidal alco- 
holic trying to straighten himself out, 
the proud Negro doctor dying of lung 
cancer—into a sprawling slice of life 
scarcely more subtle than Peyton Place. 
Photography by James Wong Howe is a 
wasted asset, because Hunter is ineptly 
cut and edited, as if some panicky trou- 
ble shooter had pulled it all apart and 
tried to put it back together again with 
a semblance of form, Whatever went 
wrong can be traced to the sudsy hand 
of director Robert Ellis Miller, whose 
last orgy of bathos was Sweet November. 

The Death of the Ape Man expands its 
noble-savage theme into some highly 
original variations on the me-Tarzan- 
you-Jane movies. Made six years ago 
by Czech writer-director Jaroslav Balil 
Tarzan is set in Germany during the 
early Thirties—and the time and place 
dd a hemlock flavor to the film's spi 
balls of satire aimed at that battered tar- 
get, man's inhumanity. Tarzan, played 
with touching Neanderthal innocence by 
Rudolf Hrusinsky, finds that the law 
of the jungle works with pitiless efficiency 
in civilization. Reared by apes in dark- 
est Africa, this German nobleman is 
shorn of his estates, his mate and his 
idealism, packed off to a circus freak 
show, where he ultimately freaks out 
and commits suicide, Though the come- 
dy becomes rather attenuated in the un- 
folding, director Balik swings over the 
weak spots as airily as his daring young 
hero swings aloft on crystal chandeliers 
There is a st ic ease and lightness 
here that seem to characterize all the 
best films from Czechoslov A prolog 
and an epilog sung by a philosophical 
clown are bold in the Fell тап: 
ner, while another memorable sequence 
—a horde of villains in top hats and 
flying tail coats ludicrously pursuing their 
prey through a sculptured garden— 
somehow suggests that Balik has brought 
out the beast in the Keystone Cops. 


One's willing suspension of disbelief 
in that world of film fantasy that 
been created to support the biological 
drives of private cyes remains intact un- 
til about halfway through A Lovely Way 
to Die, when it dies of plot failure, As 
this potboiler wheezes to a climax, the 
only workable equipment on view is a 
rescue helicopter and Sylva Koscina, a 
sex machine of striking design, as read- 
crs of this journal well know (see Syl- 
van Sylva, May 1967) Sylva plays a 
widow accused of shooting her million- 
aire husband, and the tough guy who 
thinks she probably did it is Ki 
Douglas an ex-cop resigned from the 
force to defend his stubborn faith in 
police brutality. Opportunity knocks 
when a trial lawyer named Tennessee 


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(Eli Wallach, drawling like a Bronx 
cabdriver who tells dialect jokes) calls 
Kirk away from his beds and broads— 
we lost count of both—to a very special 
assignment. Somehow, the details of the 
case are less easy to recall than the 
swimming pools and limousines, though. 
memory lingers over a parlormaid in a 
iskirt, a gang of unfriendly neigh- 
bors quick-freezing corpses in the man- 
sion down the road and Sylva enjoying 
police protection on a bearskin rug. 
Inasmuch as The Story of a Three-Day 
Pass is the first feature-length movie 
written and directed by an American 
Negro, Melvin Van Peebles, it’s too bad 
that Pass turns out to be so square. 
Worse yet, if we may say so, the one 
thing the film hasn't got is rhythm. Van 
Peebles uses split-screen techniques and. 
some tricks with mirrors (a hero talking 
out problems vis alter ego)— 
both. awkwardly. Hi 


embarrassed by the progress of ап ad- 
venture with a plain French girl (the 
lue Nicole Berger), whom he meets, 
makes and loses after an idyllic weekend 


on the coast of Normandy. At mom 
the film's sweetly sad artlessness, 
even some of its artiness, is appeal 
as when the loving couple try to express 
what they [eel about the color of each 
other's bodies, or when they abandon 
themselves to fantasies—he seeing him- 
self as a plumed French gallant, she i 
ing herself being taken by a painted 
Promising but only semi- 
ional in achievement, Pass also 
expresses attitudes that lack cogency to- 
day: a black man wooing a white maid 
does not, ipso facto, have to be trans- 
ported all the way to Paris. 

The Strange Affair locuses оп a rookie 
British bobby named Strange (Michael 
York), whose bright fucure is destroyed 
during one hectic year in uniform. 
Turned on by a psychedelically painted 
teenager (Susan George), Strange is en- 
ticed into a luxurious bed strategically 
placed under a secret camera loaded for 
live-action pornography. Though such 
healthy heterosexual drives become him, 
that misstep leaves him vulnerable to 
some convoluted twists of plot involving 
thieves, murderers, sadists, drunks, on-the- 
take police and a Scotland Yard det 
(played with fine ulcerous intensi 

тешу Kemp) whose zeal for 
g wrongdoers is positively psy- 
Though Afjair's behind-the 
scenes melodrama veers toward flagrant 
sensationalism now and then, it never 
quite falls into the trap. And it has the 
advantage of pounding a fresh beat; 
London's cops don't get worked over on 
film all that often. It also has a sy 
pathetic protagonist in Yi 
conscious actor with a hump on his 
nose, more than the usual number of 


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49 


LIFT HIS HOLIDAY SPIRITS ond keep 
them soaring all yeor long. For the mon who 
enjoys the good things in life, nothing matches 
о gift of PLAYBOY. Each issue sparkles with 
fact and fiction, masculine fashions, business 
ond finonce, travel, hi-fi, jazz, food and drink 
— plus all the other ingredients that make up 
the good life. There'll be o toost to you, too, 
for your good taste in giving PLAYBOY. And 
you couldn't be smarter. Starting in Februory 
1969, PLAYBOY's cover price goes to $1.00— 
and gift rotes go up accordingly. 


BEAUTIFUL PLAYMATE GIFT CARD. 
Angela Dorion, PLAYBOY's Playmate of the 
Year, onnaunces the cheerful yeor-full ahead 
via the full-color cord you see below. We 
sign it os you wish or send it along to you for 
personol presentotion. Just tell us. Then glom- 
orous gotefold girls, like Playmate De De Lind 
at the left, bedozzle and bewitch in each and 
every gift issue. 


YOUR SPECIAL BRAND of gift giving 
starts with the double-size Jonuary issue, timed 
to arrive for Christmas opening. Then on to с 
vintage year of big $1 issues ending with o 
dozzling December '69 issue (a $1.50 value). 


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First 1-Year Gift 


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As connoisseurs of good taste, your 

friends will savor: 

e superb fact and fiction by eminent outhors 
like Stirling Moss, Normon Mailer, Irwin 
Shaw, Arthur C. Clarke, Soul Bellow, Ray 
Bradbury, Ken W. Purdy and Herbert Gold, 
to name a few. 

© spirited PLAYBOY interviews with today's 
Prominent personalities. 

€ success ideas, business tips and trends from 
financier J. Paul Geity. 

e hilarious humor from Silverstein, Gohan 
Wilson, Interlondi, Erich Sokol, ond Dedini, 
plus Little Annie Fanny. 

e film, play, book and record reviews plus 
all the other features thot blend to make 
PLAYBOY's own special brand of man- 
pleosing entertainment. 


AVOID THE CHRISTMAS CRUSH. Mail 
your order today. The gifts you give this yeor 
will be worth more next yeor. Just $8 for your 
first one-year gift (next year, $10). Only $6 
for each additional one-yeor gift ($8 next 
season). With the single-copy price going to 
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your gift is worth more to him, too. Send us 
your list and we'll do the rest. Don't worry 
about a check. We'll bill you in January. 


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teeth and а homely-handsome that 
movie cameras can make a lot of. The 
man bears watching 


The fin 
Lylah Clore 
domi 


1 sequence of The Legend of 
^ a gaudy world premiere 
ated by a TV emcee who burbles 
about “how Hollywood carries on in the 
face of tragedy.” then creamily segnes 
into а dog-food commercial. Except lor 
the tremendous putdown implied reel 
by reel, Lylah Clare resembles а dozen 
other big bad movies about movie stars 
It is lurid and garish and frequently 
quite silly, but for oi 


PLAYBOY 


€ the silliness 
ries a sting of truth. Working with the 
sual set of preposterous characters, 
producer-director Robert (Whatever Hap. 
pened to Baby Jane?) Aldrich appears 
to look upon movie st piu 
máché dragons, all screaming and spit 
ting fire and arching their backs against 
the specter of imminent extinction 
Qucening it on that lost continent called 
Hollywood, Kim Novak has a dual role 
as the mythic Lylah. a German-born 
superstar (Harlow, with a dash of Di 
iridh), whose tragic lile and death may 
or may not become the subject of a 
movie biography, and as the upcoming 
starlet who дез the part and goes to 
pieces in the same tinselly style. The 


plot, which hangs mainly on the making 
of a big-money deal in Tinseltown, un. 
derscores the meanness and. cynicism of 
all concerned, particularly where the 
issues are trivial ones such as art, от 
honesty—or the quality of the acting, 
On this Killing ground, both good guys 
and bad guys are just out to make a 
buck. Lylal's Lesbian dialog couch 
(Rossella Falk) and onetime husband 
Svengali (Peter Finch) face a piddling 
crisis of integrity against some colorful 
opposition. The most gloriously vulgar 
prototypes introduced are Ernest Borg 
nine as a studio chief, Coral Browne as 


а venomous lady journalist with a game 


leg, and Valentina Cortese, who etches 
an exceptionally sly, sharp caricature of 
a jaded costume designer. Too һай Ly- 
lah Clave as a whole never measures up 
to its cutting bits and pieces. 
Purists are undoubtedly going to coi 
plain that Italian director Franco (The 
Taming of the Shrew) Zellielli wreaks 
havoc with Shakespearean verse in his 
breath-taking production of Romeo and 
Juliet. Those Bardolaters who criticize 
the cutting, rearrangement and reassign 
ment of specches—not to mention omis- 


arly the whole celebrated 
potion scene. 


sion of m 


are also apt to point out 
that Zeffielli's young British stus (Ro 
meo is 17-year-old. Leonard Whiting: Ju 
liet, 16-year-old Olivia Hussey) look the 
parts but cant master the poetry. Yet 


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Where-To-Buy-t? Use REACTS Card— Page 35. 


However she takes her music, Orrtronics brings it to her 
all dressed up...in its clearest, finest fidelity. Clean, un- 
interrupted, static-free tape recorded Orrtronic Sound. 
It turns your car into a music den on wheels. 

The Ontronics 8-track Stereo Tape Player has slim 
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See an Ontronics Stereo Tape Player today at leading 
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PLAYBOY 


54 


advent of talking pictures. Blazing 
to life amid the antiquities of several 
timeless Italian towns, this R. and J. 
may claim poetic license because the 
talents in charge rarely lose sight of the 
fact that а movie camera is capable of 
its own inimitable poetry. The entire 
film is a poem of youth, love and vio- 
lence in old Verona—reeled off at so 
headstrong a pace that young audiences 
may take Shakespeare's classic for a Ren- 
nce recapitulation of West Side 
Story. Zefivelli begins with a wild rum- 
ble between some feisty young Mon- 
ng of Capulets led by 
d Tybalt (Michael York). 
Romeo's friend, the doomed Mercutio, 
scinatingly played (by John Mc 
s à neurotic troublemaker who 
cannot keep his mouth shut or his sword 
sheathed for five minutes. The long, hot 
Verona summer reaches а climax. when 
Romeo slays Tybalt during a sponta- 
ncous clash of fists, feet and flying steel 
that ranks with the best scenes of 
swordsmanship ever filmed. Pat Hey- 
wood, as the а nurse, and Milo 
O'Shea, as bungling Friar Laurence, head 
a supporting cast that speaks the play's 
language without a hint of affectation, 
while Zeffirelli’s nubile Juliet and her 
Romco exude an cloquence all their 
own. Both are beautiful, lyr npetu 
ous and irrepressibly romantic—from 
their first encounter at the. 
to an exquisite, hard-breathing balc 
scene played with pure  circa-1068 
passion. 


You'd take 
a dozen shots 
to get this picture 


RECORDINGS 


The death of Bill Strayho the 
Duke's good right arm, has undoubtedly 
left a vast void in the Ellington organi- 
jon. “ . . And His Mother Called Him 
Bill” (Victor; also available on stereo tape) 
is an inspired reprise of Strayhorn com- 
positions, some never before recorded. 
They indicate the scope of his talent. 
Rain Check and Day-Dream are most 
familiar, but the other less-well-known 

cover photographer Charles Varon | 1165 are mo less rewarding, Strayhorn 
made only one exposure for this pic- will be sorely missed. 
ture, Without flash. He used a AES . 
picio boring AO fave Joan Boptism (Vanguard; also 
shots. Bul he knows the radically dif available on sterco tape) looks at the 
human condition through the eyes of 


Rn CERE. Suede the Electro 

automatically selects the precise ex- ‹ 

ЫЙ а ү poets from Donne to Evtushenko. Miss 
Baez reads and sings passages from 


posure in a range of 1/500th through 
30 full seconds. 
Whitman, Lorca and others to illustrate 
man's follies (war, etc) and his re 


He also knows the camera will 
sultant suffering; she also offers evoca- 


take hard knocks, since ils unique 
solid state computer is cased in epoxy. 
tions of childhood and youth from such 
as Joyce and Rimbaud. While her read- 


Get the picture? 
With Yashinon f/1.7 lens, under 
ings, abetted by Peter Schickele's music, 
are always measured and cl 


$100 plus case. 
Complete kit, 
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a memorable peak in reciting the open- 
ing lines from Joyce's Portrait of the 
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tape), Phil Ochs ako tries to view 
war, etc, from a poetic perch. but he 
sings only his own creations, which don't 
make it. Now Left ideology claims to be 
rational, while surrealism is antirational; 
hence, the two do not readily mix in sor 
Of the nine selections, the panoramic 
When in Rome (18 minutes plus) has the 
most interesting content and receives the 
most careful treatment 

ist Keith Jarrett, who has helped 
make the Charles Lloyd Quartet the for- 
midable foursome it is, heads his own 
tio on Life Between the Exit Signs (Vor- 
tex). Aided by bassist Charlie Haden 
and drummer Paul Motian, Jarrett is 
often avantgarde but always intelligible 
as he performs seven originals and the 
Cole Porter perennial Everything I Love 
with noteworthy sensitivity. 

erstwhile trombone confreres 
nd J. J. Johnson have re: 
newed musical acquaintances on К. & J. J. 
Israel (АКМ) and its a happy re- 
union. The cast varies throughout, as the 
bone men font a rhythm section, a 
suing quartet and a full orchestra. We 
especially like the two items done with 
the string quartet—Catherines. Theme 
from Live for Life and a splendidly rc- 
furbished St. James Infirmary. 


"Those 
Kai Winding 


With Wheels of Fie (Atco: also 
available on stereo tape), Cream moves 
out in front of just about every pop 
group functioning today. One LP of this 
double set is а masterful studio produc- 
tion; its triumphs include the expressive 
structure of Passing the Time, the 

set by White Room, and As You Said, 
on which Jack Bruce plays everything 
but the percussion. The second LP, 
etched live at San Francisco's Fillmore 
Auditorium, contains an almost-17-minute 
version of Willie Dixon's Spoonful, on 


which the trios togetherness is little 
short of amazing. 
We've never heard Frank D'Rone in 


better voice, or showing more enthusi- 
asm for his work, than on Brand New 
Morning (Cadet; also available on stereo 
tape). Maybe it’s the charts of Richard 
Evans and Johnny Pate, who turned out 
the bulk of the arrangements, but what- 
ever the cause, the effect is smashing. Dig 
the uptempo Up. Up and Ашту and 
Bluesette, the lovely Somewhere and 
Lonely Girl. Dig it all; it’s fine. 


A pair of boss country-and-western 
sessions are preserved in Chet Atkins’ 
Hometown Guitar amd Don Gibson's The 
King of Country Soul (both on Victor; also 
available on stereo tape). Atkins virtu- 
osity comes to the fore in his gusty chord: 
ing on Sweet Georgia Brown and hi: 
cascading arpeggios on Gel On with It; 
Gibson offers swinging What Now My 


How to get 
Wanda Landowska 


to play in your car. 


Just slip an eight-track cartridge 
into a Lear Jet stereo eight car unit 
*. and turn her on. Landow 
or Lena, whomever your heart 
desires. That's one of the beauties 
of a Lear Jet stereo eight car unit. 
No news, no noise, no nonsensc. 
Just the music you want to hear, 
when you want 
to hear it, for 


as long as you want to hear it. Un- 
interrupted. 

Another beauty of the Lear Jet 
stereo eight is the way it works. 
With eight-track cartridges. 
"There'sno butter-fingering around 
with reels, threading, or rewinding. 

And when you get out of your 

ır, the same eight ack cartridge 
1 work in our other systems, too. 
The home stereo eight system, our 
stereo eight portables, or our sterco 
eight tape deck that plugs into 
your own home console. 

If you've got the courage of your 
onvictions, wouldn't a Lear 
Jet stereo eight system be great in 
your car? 

Or your home? 

Or at the beach? 

Wanda would like it. 


Where-To-Buy-It? Use REACTS Card—Page 35. 


‘Jet 


stereo 8 


You only hear 
what you want to hear. 


55 


PLAYBOY 


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This great '68 example of The American Way with Wool 
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Where-To-Buy-I Use REACTS Card —Page 35. 


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With Woot 


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you could use some help in 
dealing with him. To get it, 
go to a good men’s shop. Tell 
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Where-To-Buy-It? Use REACTS Card— Page 35. 


57 


PLAYBOY 


58 


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plenty of soul on ballads 
such as You've Still Got a Place in My 
Heart. Two ckw releases that are some- 
what off the beaten track are Bul 
I'm Gonna Be а Country Girl Again 
; also available on sterco tape) 
and sends and Breakdowns of the Golden Era 
(Columbia) Backed by some of Nash- 
villes best, Miss $ gs 11 
original and two traditional songs: the 
collaboration, especially on He's a Pretty 
Good Man if You 4s nd A soulful 
Shade of Blue, is an inspired one. The 
Columbia anthology contains 16 unin 
hibited recordings, circa Prohibition, by 
such rustic figures a» Charlie Bowman 
and His Brothers, Charlie Poole and The 
North Carolina Ramblers, and Gi 
ner and His Skillet Lickers 

If your sterco rig can use a good work 
out, the Венок Requiem (Deutsche Gram- 
mophon; also available on stereo tape) 
—newly recorded in Munich under the 
direction of Charles Munch—is strongly 
recommended sheer splendor and 
weight of sound. there’s no other piece 
quite like it. This German set succeeds 
in capturing the oversize chorus and 
orchestra with minimal distortion and 
keeps the vast forces cleanly separated— 
most notably, in the “Tuba mirum" sec 
tion, where the “stereo minded” com poser 
has contingents of brass braying lust 
fanfares from the four corners of the hall 
Since retiring from the Boston Symphony, 
veteran conductor Munch has been frec- 
lancing in Europe. This performance with 
the Bavarian Radio Orchestra and Chorus 
shows that he is still a highly persuz 
advocate of Berlioz majesty and poetry. 


On Waiting for the Sun (Elektr also 
available on sterco tape), The Doors 
eschew the extended freak-outs that 

terized their earlier effor in- 


1, they present 11 well-knit numbers 
offering а variety of sounds, On My 
Wild Love, they chant like a chain gang; 
Spanish Caravan employs а flamenco- 
tinged guitar; Five fo One finds the 
foursome in its heavy-heavy bag. How- 
ever, its when The Doors’ touch is 
lightest, as on Love Street, Summer's 
Almost Gone and Wintertime Love, that 
they produce their heaviest music. 


That wonderfully successful firm of 
Cain & Kral has done it again. The Elec 
tric Jackie & Roy/ Grass (Capitol) is опе 
of the best things the dynamic duo has 
ever put on vinyl. IVs a beautifully engi- 
neered package, with Roy charting the 
way through such modern objets d'art as 
Winds of Heaven, Someone Singing, 
Lady Madonna and Most Peculiar Man. 
The effects achieved by the six 
crew working behind C & К are startling 
both in scope and in imagination. A 


musthear LP. 


nan 


ROBERTS HIS ‘N HERS 
ТАРЕ RECORDER. IN ONE UNIT 


Model 172 
Records and Plays Tape Cartridges and Reels 
He says: “Ч really go for the reel/cart- She says: "I love having my own cart 


ridge feature of the ROBERTS. It's like ridges made from the ROBERTS for 
having my own recording studio; | can our car stereo and to enjoy at home. 
тре Pack саплдез of eels от [ез so easy to play, АП! dois pop the 
r t Я or micro- " 

phone, and play them back, too. We carridee. шр 803 and m all oe 
Essi hae ID REET н ear my favorite music whenever 1 like. 
ridges and get exactly the music we And cartridges are a great way to 
want” ‘write! the folks back home.” 

- > the Pro Line. 


B ERTS £z 


Los Angeles, Calif. 90016 


or write us 
for information. 


You should see the trouble we go to 
to uncomplicate your clothing 


It's part of = and tailors go to 
the Madisonair = a great deal 
philosophy of trouble 
that a man Eby and expense. 
should be able Then stand over 
to put on his suit thousands of men, 
in the morning, and women to see 
shrug his shoulders that many complicated 
once, and then forget about operations are carried 
it for the rest of the day. out to keep things simple. 
The suit should take over So if you buy a Madisonaire 
on its own to present a suit or sport coat, be 
serene and well-pressed prepared to follow the rules 
facade—fighting off every of the game. Just shrug 
impulse to wrinkle, buckle once a day. 
or flap. That sounds simple Varsity Town's. 
enough, but to achieve it 
Madisonaire designers MADISONAIRE 
natural shoulder clothing 


THE H. A. SEINSHEIMER CO. CINCINNATI, OHIO 45202 


For your free copy of Little Blue Book of sport information and schedules and the name of Madisonaire dealer nearest you, 
Check REACTS card in the front of this magazine or write The H. A. Seinsheimer Co,, 400 Pike Street, Cincinnati, Ohio 45202. 


Where-To-Buy-It? Use KEACTS Card—Page 35. 


59 


PLAYBOY 


60 


A clever little maneuver from TWA 
to save you a nice pile of dollars 


when you cross the River this fall. 


The Old Way $440" 
Lj Ж; This is about what it 
4 


would cost you for two 
weeks in, let's say, Paris 
ATLANTIC  $ and Londonif you go 
the old way—booking 
OCEAN plane, hotels, everything 


j individually. 

What you'd be pay- 
ing for is your round-trip 
air farc, your hotcl, your 
meals, your transfers and 

x 


your sightsccing. 

The old way gives 
you the independence to see Europe the way you 
want to. The old way lets you pay for that 
independence, too. 


{Based on 14/21 day round-trip Jet Economy Excursion fare between 
New York and Paris. 


Service mark owned exclusively by Trans World Airlines, Inc. 


The TWA No-Tour Tour $352! 


TA: | "This is what you рау 
| for the same two weeks in 
Paris and London if you 
go our way—on a TWA 
no-tour tour. Our secret is 
so simple it isn't even a 

| secret. You fly at group. 
je tour rates, but when you 
get there you're free to 
s» do what you want. On 
your own. 

You get a room with 

Ete bath and breakfast in the 
same hotel as if you'd gone the old way, thc samc 
transfers and even a little sightseeing. You're not 
tied down to anything. It's all there if you want it. 

Our way gives you the same freedom to 
discover Europe as if you'd gone the old way. 

Our way also saves you $88. 

Besides the London/Paris tour, there are 16 
other no-tour tours. All simple. All money saving. 

$3551 for two weeks of wandering through 
Lisbon and Madrid. 

$4391 for two weeks of discovering Madrid 
and Torremolinos, 

$4421 for three weeks of freedom in Rome, 
Paris and London. 

$5881 for three weeks of roaming around 
Athens, Rome, Paris and London. 

If you want all the particulars on our way to 
see Europe this fall, call Mr. Information (your 
travel agent). Or call us. Better yet, why don't you 
send for our free Bonus Adventures booklet. 

It's got pictures. 


Includes 14/21 day G.I.T. economy air fare from New York. Tours are 
slightly higher before November 1. 


TWA, Dept. 263, PO. Box 25 
Grand Central Station, New York, N.Y. 10017 


Name. 
Address. 
City. State. Zip. 


My travel agent ` apspandasay 


Use REACTS Card—Page 35. 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


Thanks for dearing up the record оп 
John Dillinger's penis (The Playboy Fo 
yum, April and August). Now would you 
straighten us out on his criminal record? 
Did he really rob hundreds of banks or 
only three or four?—R. S, New York, 
New York. 

After his release from Michigan City 
Prison in May 1933, where he had 
served nine years for a stick-up, John 
Herbert Dillinger successfully robbed 20 
banks, several stores and three police 
stations before he was shot dead in July 
1934. Although the profit motive was 
undoubtedly behind the bank and store 
jobs, the police stations appear to have 
been art for art's sake. 


For almost three years, I've dated a 
wonderful girl and we intend to be 
married on my return from Vietnam. 
In a recent letter, she told me of her 
plans to drive to Nogales, Mexico, for 
a weekend. She's going with her girl- 
friend who also lives in Phoenix, Arizo- 
na, and that’s OK. But her girlfriend 
invited two guys along to share driving 
expenses, My girl said she doesn't like it, 
but she's going anyway. I can't under- 
stand how a girl intelligent in every oth- 
cr way would agree to a thing like this so 
dow to her wedding, and it bugs me. 
Should it, or have I just been away too 
long?—Sp/4 B. С., APO San Francisco, 
Califor 

We think her gesture imprudent, but 
if you have confidence in her ability to 
deal with the situation, you shouldn't 
sweat over it. On the other hand, if you 
continuously feel suspicious and untrust- 
ing of her conduct, you might have a 
rocky marriage ahead. We suggest you 
plan some additional time after your re- 
turn to reaffirm, or reassess, your rela- 
tionship with your girl. 


WV recently noticed that some of my LP 
record jackets carry this phrase: "For best 
results, observe the R.I A. A. high- 
frequency roll-off characteristic with a 500- 
cycle crossover.” Frankly, the records sound 
fine to me, but I've begun to wonder if 
there's something I should do to get the 
best possible sound out of my new—and 
expensive—sterco outfit. Just what do 
these instructions mean?—G, W., San 
Francisco, California. 

Some years ago, hi-fi systems incorpo- 
rated low- and high-frequency equaliza- 
tion controls so the listener could tailor 
his set's frequency response to the char- 
acteristics of the record being played. 
Since not all recording studios m the 
early days of hifi used the same fre- 
quency-response curves, album jackets 
had to specify which control settings to 


use. Nowadays, virtually all U.S. record 
companies and hifi manufacturers fol- 
low a standard curve set by the 
Record Industry Association of America 
(К.І. А. А.), making such instructions— 
and. controls—unnecessary. 


Though I'm only in my late 20s, Tm 
rapidly growing bald. I'm intelligent and 
sociable, but girls tend to like me as a 
friend or a brother. I get into relation- 
ships in which I sense the girl doesn't 
want a pass from me, and so 1 never 
make passes and never get past the pla- 
tonic stage. I have conduded that my 
dates aren't falling because my hair is 
Should I buy a toupec?—J. S. L., Brook- 
lyn, New York. 

If you think it will make a difference, 
sure. But the man who tries 10 "sense" 
whether or not a girl wants a pass, rather 
than finding out what she wants by 
actually throwing one, is usually simply 
afraid to act. Don't blame your problem 
on externals; give some thought to the 
possibility of excessive timidity on your 
part and try overcoming it with direct 
action. Even if you can’t prevent bald- 
ness, you can develop a bit more boldness. 


AA fter the first few months of marriage, 
my husband seemed to lose interest in 
our sex life, limiting his activity to once 
every six weeks or so. For a long time, I 
felt there was something wrong with me 
and then I began to suspect he had a 
girl on the side. Every attempt to dis- 
cuss my fears and concerns met with an 
outburst so violent that I no longer dare 
raise the question and the subject has 
become taboo in our home, I discussed 
our problem with a doctor, who suggest 
ed that we try to work it out together 
with competent psychiatric help. But 
my husband refuses to see a doctor of 
any kind. What do І do nowi—Mis. 
P. D.. Winnetka, Illinois. 

Your marriage being what it is, you 
have little to lose by putting it on the 
line, Tell your husband either he sees a 
doctor or you'll see a lawyer. 


W plan о buy a set of wineglasses soon. 
Price is no object but quality is. Do you 
know of any reliable way of testing crys 
tal, short of chemical analysist—H. M. 
Freedom, Pennsylvania. 

One common test consists of tapping 
a glass and listening to the ring. The 
more bellLlike the tone, the betler the 
crystal. Weight and color, however, are 
better indicators. Fine crystal, which con- 
tains at least 19 percent lead, is heavier 
than standard glass; furthermore, it should 
be “crystal clear,” with a brilliance lack- 
ing in ordinary glass and with no bubbles 


_ Give her Tigress- 
if shes wild enough 


to wear її. 


Impulsive. 
Unpredictable. 
Uninhibited. 
Always different. 
Never tame. 
Give her Tigress— 
when life gets 
too civilized. 


Aig 


PARFUM EXTRAORDINAIRE 
COLOGNE EXTRAORDINAIRE 


PLAYBOY 


62 


or other imperfections. In judging cut 
crystal, one should look for a slight prism 
effect and a uniformity in the cutting 
(allowing for hand-blown variations, of 
course), though the best glass for wine is 
a simple, uncut vessel, since the wine— 
not the container—should be the center 
of attention, 


WI, roommate and 1 frequently double- 
date in his car. We both have steady girls 
and we all have a good time together, but 
a problem is growing that threatens 
n end to the fun. Neither he nor his 
date drinks; and while they may oc- 
casionally neck a little, they are inclined 
to engage in intellectual discussion as 
a means of keeping themselves physical- 
ly away from temptation. Inasmuch as 
it is my buddy's car, and my gal and 
I have no driving responsibi we 
see nothing wrong with a few drinks and 
some back-seat groping. My roommate is 
getting quite vocal about his objections 
to our back-seat s. He feels that 
a5 long as we are in his car, we should. 
conform to his standards to avoid em- 
b ng him and his date. I'm looking 
for a solution that will enable us to con- 
tinue to enjoy the doubledating. Can 
you help?—H. B., Charlevoix, Michigan. 

As long as your host and his date 
make automatic transmission of intellect, 
with no clutching, standard. equipment, 
it seems ungracious of you to try to con- 
vert it into four-on-the-floor. We suggest 
that after your programed evening of fun 
for a quartet, you make another arrange- 
ment to be alone with your girl. 


ads do the hands 
t to approx 20: Doesn't 
this have something to do with the hour 
of Lincoln's assassination?—A. H., Cham- 
paign, Illinois. 

A popular U.S. legend holds that this 
commemorates the moment of Lincoln's 
death, while English clock watchers 
have been led to believe that it was the 
time when the explosive Guy Fawkes 
planned to blow up King James 1. Both 
tales are interesting but apocryphal. At 
8:20 (as at 10:10), the hands of a clock 
form a symmetry that is not only pleas- 
ing but offers an unobstructed view of 
the brand name, 


Coan you tell me if it is physically pos 
sible for a man living a normal worka- 
day life to ejaculate during intercourse 
three or more times а day for 30 consec 
utive days? If it is, are the glands able 
to function to produce semen at a con- 
sistent rate?—J. R., Adanta, Georgia. 
While it is not common, there are 
case histories of individuals who have 
performed at this frequency or higher 
for more than five years. The testes con- 
tinue to develop sperm and the prostate 
continues to produce seminal fluid, 


though the sperm count is low and the 
volume of fluid is reduced to 1.5cc to 2cc, 
as opposed to the usual 3.5ce lo See. 


©: ту, somebody mentioned that 
1969 would be the Chinese Year of the 
Rooster. What's the origin of these 
nual animal monikers?—T. C, Barstow, 
California 

An honorable Chinese zodiacologist 
created the Chinese zodiac in 2637 в. 
it contains a dozen animal symbols, each 
Of which repeats itself every 12 years. For 
your information, 1970 will be the Year 
of the Dog, follawed by the Pig, Rat, Ox, 
Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, 
Ram and Monkey. Then, back to the 
Rooster in 1981. 


КМ, friends and I date girls from а 


neighboring college, but my behavior is 
very different from that of the other 
guys. They seem to have no compunc- 
tion about having sexual intercourse 
with their dates, while I rigorously 
stain from it. In my view, their behavior 
is very immature, since the mature per- 


son recognizes that love is a onceina- 


and will not allow his enjoyment to incur 
costs that the one he loves may have to 
bear. My friends say I'm all wet and that 
I'm wasting the best years of my life. I 
know rLaynoy has a permissive attitude 
toward premarital sex, but don't you 
think, in view of the fact that I have my 
own philosophy on the subject, that J 
should stick to my guns?—]. К. P., New 
Brunswick, New Jersey. 

Essentially, we agree with your friends 
that you're all wet. But if your personal 
philosophy makes you feel more comfort- 
able with abstention than with fulfill- 
ment, then, by all means, stick to your 
guns. (As Warren Beatty demonstrated in 
“Bonnie and Clyde," they sometimes work 
as a substitute for sex.) 


The other night, a group of us were 
playing blackjack, and since I was sitting 
to the right of the dealer, 1 was offered 
the cut before the deal. The first time I 
cut the cards, an ace was the top card, 
which was to be buried; the cards were 
reshuffled and I was given the cut again. 
Another ace! Next came another shuflle 
and yet another ace. This occurred seven 
times in . What are the odds of 
this ocan nd how dos one go 
about figuring these odds?—B. S., Seattle, 
Washington. 

Your initials notwithstanding, the 
odds of your picking an ace on the first 
cut are I in 13, or 4 in 52. The odds of a 
second ace being cut after a reshuffle are 
1, X lg. Seven in a row would be calcu- 
lated as (4J, resulting in odds of 1 т 
62,748,517—somewhat on the long side. 
Hope you won the hand. 


Bam attending a university on the West 
Coast and my boyfriend (my relations 
with whom are friendly but not serious) 
i versity on the East Co: 
ts me to come and spend a weekend 
with him. 1 can afford to pay my way 
and would be happy to; but does proto. 
col demand that he foot the bill for the 
air fare? Miss C. V., Berkeley, Califor- 
nia, 

If he сап afford to, its the proper 
thing lo do. Practicality, however, should 
take precedence over protocol in shaping 
your plans. If paying for your trip would 
reduce your friend to living on bread and 
water for the rest of the semester, there is 
no reason why you couldn't pick up part 
—or even all—of the travel cost. 


WI, current girl is lovely in all respects 
but one—her choice of friends. The one 
ally bugs me is her closest friend, 
who has been competing with me for my 

s time ever since we began dating 
steadily eight months ago. She always 
wants to go out with her on weekends, 
which is the only time I, as a college 
student, сап move away from the books. 
Further competition is shown by her 
showering my girl with gifts (two dozen 
roses, a gold I.D. bracelet, etc). She is 
constantly complimenting my girl on he 
good looks on the way she smells, and 
everything! $ | says she'd like to 
hold my girl's hands because “they're so 
cut" What 1 found most offensive was 
when this girl boasted to me that she 
had scen more of my gal's body than 1 


have. A few muwal friends agree that 
there is something unnatural this 
friendship. 1 hope I'm not blowing it up 


out of proportion, and I wonder if you 
think there's something I should say or do 
about i?—K. L., Philadelphia, Pennsyl- 
vania. 

We sure do. Have a talk with your girl 
and tell her you think her friend's ob- 
sessive interest in her is something more 
than platonic, and that there's a risk of 
contagion in a close relationship. 1f her 
response is not reassuring and she makes 
no move to change the basis of friend- 
ship with the girl, then do yourself a 
favor and look for a new girlfriend. But 
do your girl a favor, too, and quit dis- 
cussing her with “friends.” 


All reasonable questions—from fash- 
ion, food and drink, hi-fi and sports cars 
to dating dilemmas, taste and ctiquette 
—will be personally answered if the 
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed 
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi- 
gan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages cach month. 


Why did over 34 million record 


collectors pay *5 to join 


Record Club of America 


when other record or tape clubs 
would have accepted them free? 


Compare 
the “Big 4” 


Record Club 
advertised 

in TV GUIDE 

Mar. 30, 1968) 


CAN YOU. 
CHOOSE FROM 
ALLLABELS? 


REA VICTOR 
Recerd Club 
өз advertised 
in THIS WEEK 
Feb. 25, 1968) 


RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA 


Se 
шайин биг edna 

YES Fee nee 
Viera ENNER HEA 
VE ANGEL, LONGO, i 


DF RECORDS 
HOW MANY? 


HOW MUCH 
MUST YOU SPEND 
TD FULFILL YOUR 
LEGAL OBLIGATION? 


CAN YOU BUY 
ANY RECORD. 
YOU WANT AY 
А DISCDUNT? 


ор YOU EVER 
RECEIVE 
UNORDEREO 
RECORDS? 


* or mo records al all if you sû 
[5^ 


VERD Е Е 


DOLLARS эшш tore 


ALWAYS ss 


NEVER! faite ate 


HOW LONG MUST 
YOU WAIT FoR 
SELECTIONS 

To ARRIVE? 


CAN YOU BUY 
ANY TAPE 

YOU WANT AT 
A DISCOUNT? 


AT LAST A RECORD CLUB WITH NO “ 


NO LONG pn., ене 


ШШЕ 


IBLIGATIONS"—ONLY BENEFIT: 


BEWARE... 


This is the way YOU want it-a 
record club with mo strings at- 
tached! Ordinary record clubs 
make you choose from just a few 
Jabels— usually their own! They 
make you buy up to 12 records a 
year—at full to fulfill your 
“obligation.” And if you forget to 
return their monthly card—they 
send you a record you don't want 
and a bill for $5.00 or $6.00! In 
effect, you are charged almost dou- 
ble for your records. 


But Record Club of America Ends All That! 
We're the largest ALL: LABEL record club in 
the world. Choose any LP...on any label... 
including new releases. No exceptions! Tapes 
included (cartridge, cassettes, recl-to-recl, ec.) 
without the “extra” membership fee other clubs 
demand, Take as many, or as few, or no selec- 
tions at all if you so decide. Discounts are 
GUAKANTEED AS HIGH AS 19% OFF! 
You never pay full-price—and never pay $1 
extra for stereo! You get best-sellers for as low 
25990, plus a small handling and mailing charge. 


How Can We Break АП Record Club “Rules”? 


"ipaste 


CONTROLLED... NOT 
by any record manufacturer 
c we are never obliged by 
‘company policy” to push any one label, or 
honor the list price of any manufacturer. Nor 
are we prevented by distribution commitments, 
as are Other major record clubs, from offering 
the very newest records. Only Record Club of 
America offers records as low ax 994. (You 
Can't expect "conventional" clubs to be inter- 
ested in keeping record prices down when 
they are manipulated by the very manufac- 
turers who want to keep record prices up?) 


Of "initation" ыан clubs. 
Tor example, RECOROS Urt IM. 
VEO is Setretiy owned ty. 
ftum Recordi thsi: 
catalog аз only 
Si. record albums (almost 
CSS. are Columbia pr 
ucts!) бог Master Catalog 
Фет 15,000 LPs, ot ай tels? 
Discounts? We oft 
al 98¢ but they oer no LPs 
31 65€. So Deware of 
Weare: stil the onh 
record сий Wor OWNED Он 
CONTROLLEO by any record 
manulscturee! 


Join Record Club of America now 
and take advantage of this spe- 
cial INTRODUCTORY HALF 
PRICE membership offer. Mail 
coupon with check or money or- 
der—NOT for regular $5.00 fe 
but only HALF THAT PRICE 
just $2.50. You SAVE $2.50. 
This entities you to LIFETIME 
MEMBERSHIP —and you never 
Fay another club fee. 
Look What You Get 

* Lifetime Membership Card 
uaranices you brand new LP's at dealer cost. 

iscounts up to 79% 
+ Free Giant Master Catalog lists available 
LP's of all labels! Over 15,000 listings! 
Ж Dise, the Club's FREE magazine, and spe- 

ial Club Sales Announcements which update 
the Master Catalog with extra discount specials, 

Guaranteed Same-Day Service 
Record Club's own computer system, ships 
order same day received! Every record brand 
new, fully guaranteed. 
Money Back Guarantee. 

If you aren't absolutely delighted with our 
discounts (up 10 79%) —retorn items within 
10 days and membership fee will be refunded 
AT ONCE! Join nearly one million budget- 
Wise record collectors now, mail coupon 10: 
Record Club of America, Club Headquarters, 


new LPS 
ists, 


major 


Your membership entitles you to buy or offer 


bors for only $1.00 each with full privileges. 
You can split the total between you — The 
more gift members you get— the more you 
save! See coupon for your big savings. 


ISBZR (01968 RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA, INC. 


York. Pa. 17405. | 


ft memberships to frends, relatives, neigh | | 


ANNOUNCING... 


SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY 
HALF-PRICE MEMBERSHIP. 


OFFER... 


ONLY $2.50 


MAIL COUPON BELOW TODAY! 


DISCOUNTS To 79% —PRICES As 


Low as 99¢ PER RECORD! 
TYPICAL ALL-LABEL “EXTRA DISCOUNT” SALE 


BUDGET SERIES АТ 72 PRICE..... $ .99 
Frank Sinatra » Petula Clark - Nat Cole - Dean Martin 
Dave Brubeck • Woodie Guthrie • Jack Jones • Pete Seeger 

John Gary and others... 


BUDGET SERIES AT %4 PRICE..... $1.25 


Oistrakh » Richter + Callas e Tebaldi Casals « Krips 
Boult » Dorati and others... 


BEST SELLERS АТ 72 PRICE. ..... $2.49 


Herb Alpert « Simon & Garfunkel « Ramsey Lewis 
Belafonte • Supremes • Mamas & Papas • Otis Redding 
Eddie Arnold « Monkees, and others... 


Ж Np “hold-back" on ex- 
citing new records! 


Ж AIl orders shipped same 
day received—no long waits! 


X Choose any LP on any 
label! Mono and Stereo! 
No exceptions! 


X Nb “quotas” to buy. 
Take 0 records—or 100! 


X SAVE! Discounts up to 
79%! Prices as low as 99¢ 
per LP! 


* Every record brand new, 
first quality, factory fresh 
— and guaranteed fully re- 
штабе! 


World's largest Master Catalog of 
Е available LP's to choose from when 


you join Record Club of America 

Lists over 15,000 available LPS оп all labels! DIS- 
COUNTS UP TO 709% Classical. Popular--Jaz2- Folk 
“Broadway & Hollywood sound tracks Spoken Word 
Rock & Roll Comedy Rhythm & Blues Country Е 
Western Dancing- Lislening Mood! PRICES AS LOW 
AS 996. No exceptions! You never pay lull price— 

* ever! Aiso available—FREE- Master Tape Catalog. SUb- 
stantial discounts on oll available tapes (cartridge, 
Cassette, reel-to-reel, etc.) at no extra membership fee. 


RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA xor. | 
Club Headquarters • York, Pennsylvania 17405 | 


YES—rush me LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP CARD, FREE Giant Master | 
Catalog, DISC®, and Special Sales Announcements at this lim- 
ied SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY HALF-PRICE membership offer. 1 
1 enclose — NOT the regular $5.00 membership fee— but only 
$250. (Never another club fee for the rest of my life.) This en- | 
tities me to buy any LPS at discounts up to 79%, plus a small 
handling and mailing charge, | am not obligated to buy any | 
records—no yearly “quota.” If not completely delighted, | may 
return items above within 10 days for immediate refund of 
membership fee, 1 


© Aso sent. Gift Memberships) at $1.00 each to names | 
оп attached sheet, Alone I pay $2.50; if 1 join with one friend 
and Split the totai, cost is only $1.75 each; with two friends, | 
$1.50 each; with three friends, $1.38 each; with four friends; 
Only $1.30 each. 1 


1 ENCLOSE TOTAL OF $. covering one $2.50 
Lifetime Membership plus ary Gift Memberships at §1.00 each, 


Print Nam 


Cut out grease. 


Put your hair on a low calorie diet. 


BOTTLE 


У? 

c. Most hair grooms аге rich in grease or fat. 
d or a dirty look. Vitalis is nice and clean and clear 
laybe you won't lose any weight. But you'll feel better. 


©1948. Bristol Mrers Company 


Vitalis introduces the first рай 
Vitalis doesn't havea single drop. You 
and liquid. Put your hair on a fat-free diet o 


Volkswagen doesnt do it again. 


Beautiful. It's по! any longer. 
Is no! any lower. And it's пої 
ony wider. The 1969 Volkswagen. 
13 improvements. Ugly сз ever 
Beautiful. Just beautiful. 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 


on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy" 


MARITAL SODOMY 
My hat’s off to you in the matter of 
‘harles О. Cotner (The Playboy Forum, 
July. You couldn't be more blessed 
than you already are, but I'll guarantee 
that fate has to be more than kind to you 
for your intervention. The original verdict 
in this case was absolutely astounding. 
Rudy Vallée 
Hollywood, California 


SEX LAWS 

Recently, Time magazine, in its sec- 
tion on he Law," recounted the 
Charles O. Cotner case. Time described 
Cotner's arrest, conviction and two-to- 
fourteen-year sentence for having had 
l intercourse with his wife, and it 
pointed out that "the same thing could 
have happened to Cotner in most other 
The Playboy Foundation was 
credited with helping underwrite Cot- 
ner's habeas-corpus petition. 

1 am pleased to sce this coverage of 
the Cotner case, because it indicates 
not only that pLAynoy is making a dent 
in such undesirable laws as the sodomy 
statutes but also that other major U.S. 
publications are discovering this area, 
where playboy led the way. Another 
hopeful sign of the times is a recent dis- 
cussion in The Wall Street Journal of 
the inequitable, archaic and downright 
silly persecution of individuals under 
ancient statutes governing sexual behavior. 
The front-page story prominently refers 
to an artide by Hugh Hefner—"The 
Legal Enforcement of Sexual Morality” 
—in the Colorado Law Review. Thus, 
the public beyond рт.лувоу' enlightened 
readership is being made aware of the 
way antiquated sex laws invade personal 
liberty. In addition, it’s a sign of incre: 
ing intelligence in American attitudes 
toward sexual subjects when such rela- 
tively conservative periodicals feel they 
can discuss sodomy with their readers. To- 
day, Time and the Journal march on. 
Tomorrow, Reader's Digest? 

Lee Rubini 
New York, New York 


states," 


LASCIVIOUS CARRIAGE 

I can testify from personal experience 
that Hugh Hefner is correct in de- 
scribing the sex laws of many of our 
states as ludicrous and archaic. About 
two years ago, my boyfriend and I were 
arrested in New Haven, Connecticut. 
Ihe police burst into the room about 


опе minute after we had finished sexual 
intercourse and demanded to see our mar- 
riage license. Having none, we were 
driven to the police station, where we 
were charged with “lascivious carriage.” 
(At first, I thought the policeman said 
“lascivious characters. wo Yale law 
students got us out on bail and—since 
we were technically guilty of the crime 
in question—we forfeited our bond. 

After escaping, we concluded that the 
only way the detectives could have 
aght us was for them to have been on 
their hands and knees looking under the 
window shade while we made love. 

I wonder how many New Haven tax- 
payers realize that they are paying to 
have these men wander the streets at 
night and snoop into bedrooms. Also, 
since my boyfriend and I were not 
dressed as hippies and were not drunk 
or boisterous on the street but, rather, 
looked and behaved very circumspectly, 1 
wonder how and why we were singled out 
as victims. Is it possible that the fuzz up. 
there make random fishing expeditions 
into random windows? Or was it just that 
the rooming house we went 10 was "on 
the wrong side of the tracks"? 

By the way, what is “lascivious car- 
riage’? I never did find out. 

T. Britton 
Los Angeles, California 

According to Connecticut Statute 53- 
219, “lascivious carriage” is "carriage or 
behavior between persons of different 
sexes” when such conduct “is wanton, 
lewd, lustful and tending to produce 
voluptuous or lewd emotions and in- 
cludes wanton acts between. persons of 
different sexes flowing from lustful 
passions, which ате grossly indecent and 
unchaste, which are lewd and lustful 
and which tend to produce lustful emo- 
tions and desires.” The penalty is a fine 
of no more than $100 or imprisonment 
for not more than six months, or both. 

We reported in “Forum Newsfront” 
last month that the Connecticut leg- 
islature is considering a revision of the 
state's criminal code, including those 
laws that forbid “private sexual behavior 
between consenting adults.” With stat- 


ca 


ules such as this on the books, the reform 
is obviously long overdue. 


PRURIENT INTEREST 

praynoy has printed some good discus- 
sions of the U.S. Supreme Court ruling 
that obscenity must appeal to “prurient 


nothing 


about 


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IS 
ordinary 


Precious aged briar, hand 
picked from hundreds of burls 
is hand-worked, coddled and 
caressed to the rich perfection 
that makes it Kaywoodie. 

A comfortable bit is hand fit- 
ted to each bowl. Note how it 
feels just right in your mouth. 
Then the Drinkless Fitment that 
condenses moisture, traps tars 
and irritants is added. 

Small wonder Kaywoodie 
smokes mild, dry, full flavored. 
Looks like no ordinary pipe. 
Smokes like no ordinary pipe. 
There's just no other вро а) 
quite like Kaywoodie. 


KAYWOODIE | 


‘Send 25е for complete catalog. Tells how to smoke a 
Pipe; shows pipes from $5.95 to $250.00; other prod- 
ucts: write Kaywoodie, N. Y. 10022, Dept. D20. 67 


PLAYBOY 


68 


interest," 
wrong with prurient interest. 

The dictionary defines prurient as 
clined to or characterized by lasci 
thought.” It defines lascivious as e 
clined to lust, wanton or lewd.” The last 
three, when defined, lead on: a circle 
rience. When disentangled, 
language merely scems to con- 
nd the pleasure it affords, 

t those who di . or can't, 
think pruriently when the occasion calls 
for it sick. Instead of encouraging 
these up-tight characters to legislate their 
illness into a law for the rest of us, 
the Government should try to cure them. 
‘The size of the job calls for a large effort, 
possibly under the Health, Education 
and Welfare Department. The mildly 
disabled who are under 30 would prob- 
ably respond to re-education. Hard-core 
cases, with more complex hang-ups, would 
probably need a full i 
services. We treat. parapicgics humanely; 
not do the same lor the sexual 
4 cases? 


why 


R. M. B 
Signal 


ntley 


SIN IN ST. PAUL 

Your readers might be amused, and 
appalled, by the outbreak of morality 
that our city government has been under- 
going for more than ar. According 
to St. Paul's Assistant 
l Daniel Klas, 
ceived a complaint from a won 
alleged pornography for sale at the lo- 
cal Wabasha bookstore. That was in 
April 1967. In July, the police raided 
the store and carried away cight large 
bags full of books and magazines. The 
store's co-owner. Robert Carlson, was 
subsequently indicted for selling six ob- 
scene photographs to a plainclothesman 
two days before the raid. Carlson’s trial 
was set for August 21; but without wait- 
ing for the trial, the police raided the 
store again on August 3, once more seiz- 
i ht bags of literary matter, When 
on the original obscene-photo 
charge came to a close in Octobe 
judge ruled that the photos were not 
obscene by U.S. Supreme Court stand- 
ards; therefore, Carlson was found not 
guilty. A few weeks later, his second trial 
again ended in victory for the bookstore, 
when the court ruled that police had 
entered the premises illegally. The po- 
lice thereupon arrested Carlson's partner, 
Joseph 5. Lec, for selling an obscene book 
ло a detective, And so it has gone: arrest 
court dismissal after court. 
Finally, after no fewer than 
sts, the city scored four 
obscenity convictions (two currently be- 
ing appealed). 

God knows how many tons of books 
and magazines have been seized in 
these raids, how much money in legal 
feces this has cost the store's owners and. 
how many man-hours of policework and 


but no one has asked whats 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


a survey of events related to issues raised by "the playboy philosophy" 


JAIL FOR BLASPHEMY 

WESTMINSTER, MARYLAND—A 20-year- 
old Army veteran with a wife and infant 
daughter served а 30-day jail term for 
“taking the Lord's name in vain in a 
public place.” Police officers testified that 
when they approached the young man 
after a scuffle to arrest him for dis- 
orderly conduct, he yelled, “Take your 
goddamn hands off me.” He was charged 
with "shouting profanities and using the 
Lord's name in vain.” The sentence was 
meted out under a Maryland blasphemy 
law that predates the U.S. Constitution, 
having been enacted by the Lord Pro- 
prictor of Maryland in 1723. Originally 
the law called for a first offender to be 
“bored through the tongue,” a second 
offender to be branded on the forehead 
with the leter "B" and a third of- 
fender to be “put to death without bene- 
fit of clergy.” In 1819, the Maryland 
legislature softened the penalties but let 
the law stand. Offering a justification. 
even more obscure than the statute itself, 
the judge said: “Sometimes an obscure 
law like this is the only way we have to 
solve some of these problems." 


TAKE A CIANT STEP. 

nowr—The Roman Catholic Church 
is considering а reversal of its condem- 
nation of the astronomer Galileo Galilei, 
found guilty of heresy by the Holy In- 
quisition in 1633. Although Galileo's 
teachings were specifically declared false 
in the strongest language  possiblc— 
the Inquisitors stating that “the first 
proposition, that the sun is the center 
and does not revolve about the earth, is 
foolish, absurd, false in theology and 
heretical, because expressly contrary to 
Holy Scripture” and that “the second 
proposition, that the earth is not the 
center but revolves about the sun, is ab- 
surd, false in philosophy and, from a 
theological point of view at least, op- 
posed to the true faith” —the Church re- 
canted in 1520 and accepted the new 
astronomy. Galileo himself, however, 
has remained under a cloud for his sins 
of arrogance and disobedience. А new 
trial for the archheretic will take place 
soon, and hints dropped by the Vatican 
indicate that the stubborn old scientist 
might finally be forgiven for believing 
what he saw in his telescope rather than 
what he read in the Holy Scripture. 


'ORDCRIME 

WELLESLEY, — MASSACHUSETTS — English 
anthropologist Sir James Frazer—who 
once explained the belief in magic spells 
and curses by asserting that “savages” 
are “unable to discriminate clearly be- 
tween words and things’—would have 


been amused, and perhaps amazed, at 
the uproar in Wellesley when high 
school officials and the Wellesley Com- 
mittee on Racism staged “The Slave,” 
a drama of racial tensions by black poet 
LeRoi Jones. Eight faculty members 
were arrested by the police after the per- 
formance of the play, which contained 
several words under taboo by local 
shamans; and a school meeting, called to 
discuss the case, broke up in shambles 
when а 17-year-old student who uttered 
one of the forbidden words in a speech 
opposing censorship was — promptly. 
busted himself. A subsequent attempt to 
restage the play at the Wellesley library 
was prevented by the board of selectmen, 
who voted unanimously to ban the pro- 
duction or reading of the drama in any 
Wellesley public building. The select- 
men said they acted in the interest of 
“public safety and welfare.” 


UP WITH MINISKIRTS 

That short shift, the miniskirt, is giv- 
ing short shrift to a рат of highly dis- 
similar laws. In Britain, girls who buy 
minis don't have to pay а 12% percent 
purchase tax imposed on skirts by Brit- 
ish law. The regulations define a shirt 
less than 24 inches in length as а child's 
garment, not taxable; and as anyone 
with an eye for measurements can see, 
the anything-but-childish minis fall into 
that tax-free category, In New Jersey, a 
county court judge ruled unconstitution- 
al an ordinance under which a man was 
arrested for wearing a miniskirt on the 
main street of an oceanside resort town. 
The law prohibited a person's wearing 
clothing “not belonging to his or her 
sex,” but the judge agreed with the de- 
fense lawyer's contention that “the city 
cannot dictate what a person can or can- 
not wear. . . . There are a substantial 
[number] of women wearing men's 
clothes and dungarecs." 


STRIP TEACH 

FLINT, MICHIGAN— Tte. board. of edu- 
cation of a Flint suburb ruled that it 
would not fire a young lady who report- 
edly removed all her clothing before an 
all-girl junior high school sex-education 
class. The action, intended to illustrate a 
point under discussion, provoked some 
parents to demand that the girl and her 
principal be fired. However, the school- 
board president declared that the teach- 
er's intentions were “in the best interests 
of her students,” and the case, not the 
teacher, was dismissed. 


NUDISM FS. PRUDISM 

NEW yorkK—Anthropologist’ Margaret 
Mead has endorsed limited nudism as a 
possible antidote to the shame and anx- 


iety that characterize American attitudes 
toward the body. In an article in Red- 
book, Miss Mead suggests that the ac- 
ceptance of nudity in appropriate social 
situations such as swimming and sun- 
bathing might be a means by which 
"everyone could learn relaxed accept- 
ance of the human body as it really 
is" She said that "this could mean a 
reduction in puritanism and prudery that 
would ultimately lead to a decrease in 
neuroses and certain kinds of crime.” 
Al the same time, Miss Mead noted 
that nudism as “officially” practiced in 
this country generally involves very ex- 
plicit rules and taboos; eg, against 
touching and body contact; thus, free- 
dom is purchased at the expense of the 
ability to express affection in public, She 
also pointed out that in place of Vic- 
torian obsessive prudery, today's culture 
has substituted an emphasis on exhibi- 


tionism and transparency that goes 
beyond dress to such manifestations as 
picture windows, transparent office- 


building walls, plastic chairs and the view 
of inner organs given us in museum- 
exhibit transparent women. In her 
opinion, the ideal society would be one in 
which the body was neither hidden nor 
flaunted, simply accepted, and in which 
we had “both freedom from prudery and. 
the freedom to express our feelings.” 


FAILURE OF FORCED MARRIAGES 

LOS ANGELES—Psychiatrist В. T. Mead. 
urges that single girls who get pregnant 
should not marry the father, on the 
grounds that such marriages usually fail. 
Quoted in the New York Post, Dr. Mead 
slates that forced marriages seldom last 
longer than “two or three or four years” 
and that the baby has a much better 
chance of happiness if the mother 
bears him out of wedlock ond offers him 
for adoption. “A family that wants a 
child,” Mead stated, “is much more likely 
to give it what it needs than a family that 
was created just because the baby was on 
the way.” Since the onus of having a 
child out of wedlock has decreased in 
recent decades, Dr. Mead suggests that 
young women "in trouble” should seri- 
ously consider this alternative. 


POLICE WITHOUT GUNS 

woston—Sheriff John Sears of Suffolk 
County has ordered his 200 deputies to 
lay down their guns in the hope of 
creating an American "prototype of a 
peacekeeping force that relies on any- 
thing but weapons.” Following the prac- 
lice of the English police, Sheriff Sears 
says that his men will be allowed to go 
armed only on “rare” occasions. “Frank- 
ly, 1 don't believe that weapons are nec- 
essary,” he told the press, adding that 
the deputies will spend enough time on 
the shooting range to be expert marks- 
men in the special cases when they need 
pistols. 


VIOLENCE IN AMERICA 

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Uniled States 
ranks 40th in the world on a collective 
violence scale developed by Dr. Ted R. 
Gurr, an assistant professor of politics at 
Princeton University. Dr. Gurr’s scale 
measures such variables as the propor- 
tion of the population taking part in the 
violence, the number of casualties and 
the relative duration of the conflict. The 
nations of Latin America, Asia and Afri- 
ca lead the world in all these respects; 
the United States does, however, rank 
first in collective violence among the 
world’s most economically advanced na- 
tions. Dr. Gurr added that a common 
factor in violence-prone nations “is the 
existence of minority groups or the 
presence of a class society.” 


ALCOHOL AND ACCIDENTS 

NEW BRUNSWICK, NEW  JERsEY—Rul- 
gers University’s Center of Alcohol 
Studies has published a report on drink- 
ing and driving that indicates that a 
person who drinks moderately is no 
more likely to get involved in an acci- 
dent than is a sober driver. The real 
danger of accidents caused by drinking, 
the report states, arises in the case of 
alcoholics. A five-year study of drinking 
and highway accidents showed that liq- 
uor causes accidents only when it reach- 
es a concentration in the blood of one 
tenth of one percent—a level that would 
require at least one drink every ten min- 
utes for an hour. These facts suggest, 
the report concluded, that campaigns to 
end alcohol-caused accidents should be 
aimed at the “problem” rather than the 
social drinker. 


ROCKY VETOES POT BILL 

ALBANY, NEW YORK—Reversing his 
previous tendency to escalate the penal- 
ties for use of marijuana, Governor Nel 
son Rockefeller has vetoed the harshest 
antipot bill ever passed by the New 
York legislature. In 1966, it was Rocke- 
feller himself who recommended raising 
the maximum penalty for selling grass to 
minors from 15 years’ imprisonment to 
20 years; and in 1967, the governor 
approved the legislature’s further increase 
of the maximum penalty to 25 years. 
This year, however, the solons in Alba- 
my decided to raise the maximum to life 
imprisonment. Rockefeller balked, quot- 
ing opposition to the bill by various law- 
enforcement officials, including New York 
City District Attomey Frank Hogan, 
and pronounced the new law “ab- 
surd.” Since “sale” in the New York nar- 
cotic laws means to “sell, exchange, give 
or dispose of,” the bill could have re- 
sulted in life imprisonment for a college 
student who gave a single marijuana 
cigarette to a friend. Apparently, the 
governor felt that 25 years is sufficient 
for such a heinous crime. 


of couruoom time have been wasted. 
‘Three books have been found obscene; 
the store still has thousands of others i 
“Calculating roughly.” Dave Hill. 
reporter, wrote, “it will take about 


suggested editorially that police time 
might better be devoted to the 4000 
burglaries that occurred in St. Paul last 
year, an irate clergyman wrote to them: 
“These other crimes be small, indeed, 
in comparison with the huge destruction 
that this smut literature will cause over a 
long period of time.” Recently, a local 
eccentric entered the long-suffering book- 
store and began disrupting business by 
throwing the books off the tables onto the 
floor. Now the Y.M.C.A., which holds the 
lease on the store, has announced that the 
Tease is terminated and the premises will 
have to be vacated, “because of circum- 
stances which have recently come to the 
attention of the Y.M.C.: d the city 
is attempting to have the store closed 
permanently as “а public nuisance." 

If Saint Paul was actually the first 
Puritan, as historians suggest, then this 
town is well named. 

(Name withheld by request) 
St. Paul, Minncsota 


SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE 

The following is an excerpt of an 
article that appeared in the San Diego 
Evening Tribune: 


Three strippers from the Holly: 
wood Theater, 314 F Street, told 
police a partially undressed man ap- 
proached them at 1:10 Ам. yester- 
day as they were window-shopping 
on their way home from work. They 
said the suspect approached them 
as they wcre standing on the sidc- 
walk in the 1300 block of Fifth 
Avenue. They called police, who ar- 
rested the man, 25, in the 500 block 
of Ash Street. He was taken to city 
jail in connection with indecent cx- 
posure, a violation of the state Penal 
Code. 


‘The moral of this story is that if you 
show it off for pay on a lighted stage, it is 
legal; but if you show it off for free, you 
get arrested. Apparently, turnabout is not 
fair play. 
Robert G. Kap! 
Consulting Psychologist 
San Diego, California 


SINE QUA NON 

I find it increasingly dificult to 
preach meaningful scrmons to my con- 
gregation, to prepare relevant lectures 
for my college students or to write on 
contemporary issues without reference to 
PLAYBOY. 


Rabbi Reeve R. Brenner 
Princeton, New Jersey 


69 


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AGAINST RELIGION 

rrAYhOY has done a magnificent job in 
liberating America from superstitious 
and degrading puritanism, in freeing 
man to look honestly at his true nature 
and, especially, in emancipating woman. 
No longer "the vessel of sin" and "the 
tempter of man," the modern Eve is a 
warm human creature to be wanted, cud- 
dled, pampered and loved. As PLaynoy’s 
influence spreads, women become com- 
panions with whom men can share their 
intimate thoughts and pleasures. No 
longer will they be trolls for use in the 
hot kitchen, to spin and sew or to repro- 
duce new hands for work in the fields. 
"Today, females are becoming women. 

PLAYBOY'S influence, however, is spread- 
ing rather slowly and will continue to 
do so, because you attack only the 
symptoms and neglect the disease, The 
disease is religion. Supernatural beliefs 
have been the cause of many wars and 
presently remain a major obstacle to 
East-West reconciliation; they have re- 
tarded science, education and the full 
development of man; they require us to 
reproduce more babies than we can 
feed; they spread hate instead of love. 

PLAYBOY will make its most progressive 
assertion when it “exposes” religion, the 
greatest fraud ever perpetrated. 

Gerard Martin 
Forestville, Maryland 


“CHRISTIAN” COLLEGES 

lam a minister at a secular universi- 
ty, Purdue, where I find the atmosphere 
much more honest and congenial than 
at the socalled Christian college where 
I formerly served as chaplain. My ex- 
perience there confirmed the impres- 
sions of the unfortunate girl whose dean 
virtually consigned her to hell without a 
hearing, on the basis of rumors that the 
girl was a Lesbian (The Playboy Fo- 
тит, July). That such a place can cloak 
bigotry, hostility toward sex, contempt 
and injustice for the accused and a total 
k of respect fo idual freedom 
under the label “CI is appalling, 
if not incomprehensible. 
The Rey. H. Richard Rasmusson 

University Presbyterian 

Church (АП Student) 

West Lafayette, Indiana 


ANOTHER OTHER WOMAN 

Three cheers for the “other woman” 
who replied in the June Playboy Forum 
to the injured wives of America. I, too, 
am an other woman and 1 know that my 
man's wile тезеги» me. But 1 would like 
her to try to put herself in my place for 
a minute. 

l am not really very different. from 
her. But has she ever really been lone- 
some for him? Has she ever waited for 
the phone to ring, though it didn't be- 
cause he couldn't get away? (1 worry 
about him as much as she docs, when 
he is away from me) Has she ever been 


awake at two a.m. feeling so alone that 
she ached inside? Has she ever consid- 
ered how little of him I actually have? 
My life consists of a daily phone call 
and a few hours a week with him. How 
does that compare with what she has? 
Has she ever considered what 1 must 
give up in this situation? I have sac 
rificed the right to a home and a family 
and the right to turn to him for comfort. 
when I'm upset or sick. I cannot express 
any personal needs nor make any claims 
on him, nor even expect him to acknowl- 
edge me in public with more than a nod. 
I would gladly give half my re- 
maining life to trade places with her. 
But if things were turned around, would 
she play my role? I think not; she could 
never put his needs and desires ahead of 
her own. She is too busy pushing him 
and planning his life to consider what 
goes on inside him or to listen to his 
problems and dreams. I am far less de- 
manding and much more willing to put 
his happiness first. I will give him all that 
1 can, in all ways, without the luxury of 
a wedding ring. And for this I am con- 
demned by society. 
(Name withheld by request) 
St. Louis, Missouri 


I have just read "The Other Woman 
Speaks” (The Playboy Forum, June) 
and I feel the necd to say one word to 
the woman who wrote it: Baloney! 

Having been both the offended and 
the offending party more than once, I 
feel qualified to speak on this subject. 
The first time I became pregnant, my 
husband started cheating immediately. 1 
tried being all the things “the other 
woman” says American wives are not— 
“patient, understanding, loyal, devoted, 
affectionate, available and grateful.” It 
didn't work. He didn't dig pregnant wom- 
en. Alas, he also didn't dig contracep- 

s (this was before the pill). Result: 
I became virtually a brood sow, being 
impregnated time ime and then 
rejected. for some slim young thing as 
soon as I began physically to show the 
pregnancy. After several years of t 
decided that as a person in my own 
right, I could use some extracurricular 
activities myself. There was a shortage 
of single men in our suburb, so my 
affairs were with married men. I heard 
the same story from all of them—the sto- 
ry that other woman repeats. I began to 
wonder if there were that many selfish 
and stu es in the world or if this 
was just the standard line all philander- 
ing husbands use. 

Somehow, our marriage staggers along, 
although we have been on the verge of 
divorce countless times. Meanwhile, the 
chief victims are our innocent children. 
І am trying to hold the family together 
for their sake, not for the "consumer 
goodies” that the other woman claims 
hypnotize us. And, unlike her, I am not 
proud of my adulterous carryingson; I 


be faithful and mo- 
not going to sit home 


would much rathe 
nogamous. But I 
biting my nails in frustration while my 
ng some young 


(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


OTHER WOMAN'S COMPENSATION 
The June Playboy Forum letter fom 
“the other woman” was very moving 
Bur without being patronizing or ex 
pressing moralistic disapproval. I would 
like to know what she gains from wh 
must be one of the most seli-destructive 
of human relationships. How can she 
tolerate such a relationship, knowing that 
it must end unhappily? How does she put 
up with the lack of freedom resulting 
from the constant need for secrecy? In 
short, she makes it clear in her letter what 
she gives to the relationship, but how can 
a woman as intelligent and as articulate 
ay she seems to be dedicate а large part 
of her life to masochism 


Mis. Fay Cooper 
London, England 


SEX AS COMMUNICATION 
As а Methodist pastor. 1 am constantly 
expected to uphold the present moral sys- 
which. I feel, prescribes stercotyped 
behavior, labels conduct mechanically and 
is motivated by fear, unnecessary guilt and 
conformism. Our concept of sexuality 
15 to be redefined; I believe that sex is 
an instrument for communication, What is 
communicated is worth, sensitivity, айсс 
tion and approval; these things add up to 
love. Sex is a dialog in which a male and 
a female exalt each other's person to the 
maximum. It is most enjoyed when it is 
sponta 1 coercion, smooth talk 
id guilt are absent, when there is only 
the feeling of joyful fulfillment. So under 
stood, this relationship can be universi 
ly approved for all who want to express 
love: with our contraceptive devices, there 
is no reason why its premarital or extra 
marital forms should be disapproved. Re 
nding extramarital sex, it is wrong to 
think that going 10 bed with someone 
other than one's spouse in any way dam. 
ages the marital relationship; this would 
be the same as saying that a man should 
not talk to any woman other than his wile 
Extramarital sexual communication harms 
marriage no more than does extramarital 
verbal communication. It is time we freed 
our understanding of marriage from its 
property-rights attitude. It is time 
ber of our penal laws were revised. It is 
ne we updated our sexual ethics to a 
Jevel that enriches human life. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Syracuse, New York 


num. 


TRIAL MARRIAGE PLAN 
Vhe high number of divorces in this 
county is a national tragedy and some 
thing ought to be done about it, The 
surest way to cur down the number of 
(continued on page 180) 


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THE INTERNATIONAL ONE 


es RALPH NADER 


a candid conversation with the zealous consumer crusader and waze-imaking author of “unsafe at any speed” 


Ralph Nader, whose headline-making 
indictments of auto safety angered De- 
troit, prompted one car company's abor- 
live investigation of his private life and 
finally spurred passage of the 1966 Traj- 
fic Safety Act, would seem at first glance 
an unlikely nemesis [or the auto—or any 
other—industry. Nader's parents emi- 
grated from Lebanon to the United 
States їп 1925 and gravitated to the small 
town of Winsted, Connecticut, a WASP- 
ishly conservative community of 10,000, 
where Ralph was born in 1934, His 
father, Nathra, transformed a seedy din 
er inio a prosperous restaurant, the 
Highland Arms, and with Shaf. Ralph's 
40-year-old brother, th himself into 
local politics and such civic issues ns ban- 
ning parking meters from Main Street 
and creating a community college. Nader's 
parents also imbued him with a deep sense 
of the individual's responsibility to im- 
prove society. Ralph learned this lesson 
well, and a pattern of passionate idealism 
and uncompromising individualism was 
ingrained in him at an early аре; by the 
time he was admitted to Princeton Uni- 
versity in 195], Nader was already a 
dropout from his “silent generation." 

His first brush with Princetonian shib- 
boleths came when he refused to suc- 
cumb to what he called “white buckism 
—the unspoken rule that everybody has 
to wear while-buck shoes, white tennis 
socks, khaki slacks, etc., all of which are 
really just a symbol of Princeton's rigidly 
conformist behavioral code.” Nader also 
opposed the inflexibility of the Prince- 
ton curriculum and the administration's 


“A safety car would not be a lumbering 
monster with a top speed of 30 mph, fit 


only for 80-year-old grandmothers; it 
would be just as sleck, just as handsome 
and just as fast as current models.” 


right to arbitrary suspension and expul- 
sion of students; but when he attempted 
to involve his classmates in a struggle for 
student rights, he was met with indiffer- 
ence; in 1953, as he puts it, “Berkeley was 
not even a gleam in Mario Savio's eye.” 
While tilting at such academic windmills, 
Nader majored in Oriental studies and 
now speaks fluent Chinese, as well as 
Spanish, Russian, Portuguese and the 
Arabic he learned in childhood. 

While at Princeton, Nader engaged in 
his first public controversy, a campaign 
to end the spraying of trees with DDT, 
which was killing off the campus son 
birds—but Nader was dismissed by fac- 
ulity and students alike as а harmless 
crank; this was eight years before the na- 
tional furor over insecticides sparked by 
Rachel Garson's “Silent Spring.” It was 
also at Princeton that Nader grew inter- 
ested in a problem that still absorbs him 
—the dehumanization and exploitation 
of the American Indian. On his vaca- 
lions, he traveled to Indian reservations 
in Moniana, New Mexico, Arizona and. 
California and wrote a long paper con- 
demning the Department of the Interior, 
stale governments and. private industry 
for ignoring the Indian's problems "when 
they did not act in collusion to steal his 
land." Nader gradunted Phi Bela Kappa 
from Princeton in 1955 and entered 
Harvard Law School, which he found 
“just a high-priced tool factory.” He be- 
lieved the institution's main function was 
to produce “cogs for the corporate legal 
machinery.” But it was at Harvard Law 
that Nader first became absorbed in the 


issue of auto safety that would subse- 
quently propel him to national promi- 
nence. It was also at this time that Nader 
disposed of the only car he has ever 
owned, because of ils sajety defects. 
After receiving his LL.B. degree [тот 
Harvard in 1958, he stayed on as a re- 
search assistant, then served a six-month 
t on active duty in the Army (most of 
it as a cook at Fort Dix), and left the 
Service to take a budget version of the 
grand tour, traveling from the U.S. to 
Ethiopia, eastern. Europe and across 
Latin America before returning home to 
join a private law firm in Hartford. 
Nader handled accident-claim cascs in 
court, continued his research on auto 
safety, wrote magazine articles and indig- 
nant letters to the editor, addressed civic 
and professional groups and testified— 
with little cffect—before Connecticut, 
New York and Massachusetts state senate 
committees on auto safety. He suc- 
ceeded in winning the support of some 
voluntary organizations—junior cham- 
bers of commerce and women’s groups 
—but their resolutions were not fol- 
lowed up by action and had no impact. 
In 1961, despairing of progress on the 
local level, Nader decided to move to 
Washington and apply his efjoris at 
the heart of what he terms “the power 
complex.” “1 had watched years go by 
and nothing happened,” he explains. 
“Before that, decades had gone by. 1 
decided that it took total commitment.” 
Nader's campaign against the auto in- 
dustry began quietly and, at first, inaus- 
piciously. Urban-affairs authority Daniel 


“I place the needs of our society above 
my own ambitions; this seems to baffle 
people. Is it so implausible, so distasteful, 
that а man would believe deeply enough 
in his work to dedicate his life to it?” 


“Ethical standards in industry are dis- 
tressingly low. We're always hearing 
about ‘crime in the streets’ today, but 
crime in the executive conference room 
affects far more Americans.” 


73 


PLAYBOY 


74 


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it belongs in the States, too. In fact, 
AMPHORAis the largest selling imported 
pipe tobacco in the U.S.A. Don't despair, 
America, we'll get AMPHORA to you. 
Somehow. 


Che A e» 


Superb Dutch tobacco shipped here 
++. cautiously, 


AMPHORA Brown-Regular; 
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AMPHORA Blue-Mild Aromatic. 


A blend of Douwe Egberts Koninklijke Tabalstabriek, 
Uteetent Holland 


P. Moynihan, then serving as Assistant 
Secretary of Labor, had corresponded 
with Nader ever since the two men wrote 
almost simultancous articles on auto safe- 
ty in 1959—Nader’s in The Nation, Moy- 
nihan’s in The Reporter—and he gave his 
young ally a job as consultant on traffic 
safety in the Labor Department's. Office 
of Planning and Research. Nader con- 
tinued writing and lobbying from his 
Washington beachhead, but made little 
headway until one of his letters reached 
Senator Abraham Ribicoff, chairman of 
the Senate Subcommittee on Executive 
Reorganization, who invited him to serve 
as an unpaid consultant on auto safety. 
Nader cagerly resigned his position in 
the Labor Department to prepare well- 
reasoned and exhaustively researched po 
silion papers for subcommittee members 
and worked tirelessly to initiate hear- 
ings on auto safely. Finally, Ribicoff 
announced an investigation of the “fan- 
tastic carnage” on the nation's highways, 
and extensive hearings began im the 
summer of 1965. The fast salvo in Nader's 
against Detroit had been fired. 
In late 1965, he issued his second 
blast: “Unsafe at Any Speed," a carefully 
documented exposé castivating Detroit. for 
building “deathtraps” that kill 50,000 
people annually and maim or injure 
4,500,000 more, It was instantly hailed 
as a major contribution to auto safe- 
ty. The Wall Street Journal called it 
powerful and persua. and Road 
Test magazine termed it "required tead- 
ing.” “Unsafe” hit the best-seller lists and 
stayed there for 15 weeks; it has since 
sold over 150,000 copies in hardcover und 
paperback editions, been translated. into 
Dutch, French, Spanish, Italian, Swedish, 
Danish and Japanese, and carned Nader 
$53,000 before taxes—money that he 
promptly poured back into his fight for 
aulo safety. The book also won Nader a 
citation from the ultraprestigious Nieman 
fellows at Harvard, and even inspired a 
cartoon in The New Yorker, depicting a 
used-car salesman zeroing in on a buyer 
with the caption, “I happen to know 
Ralph Nader's mother drives this model.” 
The commercial success of “Unsafe at 
Any Speed" had an instant and pro- 
Joundly traumatic impact on the ашо 
industry, "In. Detroit," Life reported in 
сапу 1966, “practically every auto exec- 
ulive has a copy of Ralph Nader's book 
on his desk [and] when they discuss it 
they сап rarely avoid raising their 
voices.” But Detroit's anger was not re- 
stricted to executive board rooms. With 
new hearings on auto safely coming up, 
General Motors hired a small army of 
private detectives, led by ex-FBI agent 
Vincent Gillen, to dig deeply into Na- 
ders background. Gillen's. investigators 
interviewed 60 of Nader's friends and 
relatives, always under the pretext of a 
pre-employment investigation, and in- 
quired ij he were a homosexual, an alco- 
holic, a drug addict or an anti Semite. 


barrag 


Gillen was also ordered to keep Nader 
under surveillance—a move that even- 
tually blew the whistle on the entire 
operation when two of Gillen's agents 
lost track of Nader in the New Senate 
Office Building and incurred the sus- 
picion of guards, who took their names 
and asked them to leave. News of the 
incident reached Congress and Senator 
Ribicoff instructed GM officials to ap- 
pear before his subcommittee to explain 
their actions. Under Senatorial cross- 
examination, GM President (now board 
chairman) James Roche made his famous 
public apology to Nader and pledged 
that “It will not be our policy in the 
Juture to underlake investigation of those 
who speak or write critically of our prod- 
ucts.” One Senator expressed an opinion 
prevalent on Capitol Hill when he told a 
New York Times reporter: rybody 
was oulraged that a great corporation was 
out to clobber a guy because he wrote 
critically about them. At that point 
everybody said, "The hell with them!” 
The resultant Traffic Safety Act required 


the establishment of Federal safety 
standards for all vehicles sold after 
January 31, 1968. President Johnson 


termed the act “landmark legislation,” 
adding that “for the first time in our his- 
tory we can mount a truly comprehensive 
attack on the rising toll of death and 
destruction on the nation's highways.” 

Nader has not been content to rest on 
the laurels won in his auto-safety crusade. 
While he still keeps Detroit under close 
critical scrutiny, he has added a number 
of other consumer issues to his list, 
including sanitary conditions in the 
meat and fish industries, the dangers of 
radiation overexposure in the cowse of 
medical and dental X rays, industrial 
safety conditions, gas-pipeline sajety and 
environmental hazards such as air and 
water pollution. Nader's corporate ene- 
mies, along with their Congressional and 
journalistic allies, have multiplied com- 
mensuralely with the widening of his 
own horizons. Syndicated columnist John 
Chamberlain, writing in the conservative 
National Review, has charged that “Mr. 
Nader's anticapitalist. bias is apparent 
when he urges a general encroachment of 
government on the old managerial pre- 
rogalives of big corporations," and warns 
that “Naderism . . . could turn out to be 
а positive dan; And another critic, 
talking to a reporter [or the New York 
Daily News, characterized. Nader as “an 
egghead, even a fuss-budget. 

When Nader testified on auto safety 
before the House Interstate and Fore 
Commerce Committee, pro-Detroit Rep 
resentative Glenn Cunningham chal- 
lenged his qualifications and charged 
he was engaged in “a clever way of 
representing trial lawyers, so-called ambu- 
lance chasers, by picking on big indus- 
by.” (Nader replied quietly: “1 am not 
concerned with ambulance chasers. I am. 
concerned with the people in the ambu- 


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76 


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lances") Rumors are continuously floated 
in Washington that Nader is salting away 
fat profils by referring accident-clain 
cases to a private law firm or is being 
secretly subsidized by labor unions. The 
lobbyists are particularly incensed by 
Nader's personal asceticism. “That $8 
a-month тоот of his must be just a front,” 
one lobbyist grumbled. “He's got to have 
a deluxe hideaway somewhere." Almost 
plaintively he added, “Doesn't he?" 

He doesn't. Nader lives monklike in 
his drab furnished room in a boarding- 
house on a tree-lined street near Wash- 
ington's Dupont Circle, surrounded by 
magazines, newspapers 


Government re- 
ports. technical and legal journals and 
copies of the Congressional Record. 
Working 20 hours a day, he also main- 
tains a dingy $97-a-month office in down- 
town Washington, but keeps the address 
and telephone number a closely guarded 
secret. (“If people knew where to find 
me, I'd never get апу work done?) 
Nader's efforts ave underwritten solely 
by his own earnings—which, in News- 
week's words, “by the standards of most 
of Washington's lobbyists . would 
support perhaps one medium-sized cock- 
tail party at the Shoreham.” Royal- 
ties from “Unsafe at Any Speed" ave 
now petering out and the main sources 


of Nader's income are speaking engage 
ments and an occasional article for The 
New Republic. His biggest expense is 
his telephone bill. which runs an ате 
age of $250 to $350 a month; to meet it, 
he cats in cheap cafeterias, wears inex- 
pensive off-he-rack clothes and often 
walks long distances to save on cab and 
bus fare, 

This ascetic way of life—which Nader's 
critics explain as a deep-seated disap 
proval and mistrust of nffluence—jits in 
with their view of him as a puritan whose 
self-righteous conscience will not let him 
or his corporate enemies rest. They label 
him a zealot deluded into believing that 
his reformatory motives are purely altru- 
istic, Nader sees himself, according to 
one industry spokesman, “as a lone Saint 
George protecting the lamblike consumer 
from the ravening dragon of big busi- 
ness” What his admirers consider cru- 
sades, his detractors call vendettas: in 
either case, both concede that his effec- 
liveness in waging them is remarkable, 
indeed. Seldom, if ever, in official Wash- 
ington has one man done so much with 
so little, “Many others have shared his 
dim view of corporate America,” com- 
ments The New York Times, “and have 
expressed their doubts in more detail and 
more persuasively. What sets Nader 
apart is that he has moved beyond social 
criticism to effective political action” 
One secret of Nader's success lies in his 
ability to work smoothly with such in- 
fluential Senators as Ribicoff of Con- 
necticut and Magnuson of Washington— 
often behind the scenes. Nader frequent- 


ly digs up the information on a соп- 
sumer issue and then allows a particular 
Congressman to take all the credit. “A 
reformer can't afford to have an ego.” he 
says. “That's not modesty, just tactics. If 
I can get three Senators to say something. 
it's better than Jor me to say it." Nader 
has also. developed a good working re- 
lationship with the press; and when he 
feeds a newsman a story. it is almost al 
ways printed. One reason is that Nader 
has established an untarnished credibil- 
ity record. “When I get a story from 
Ralph,” one reporter says. “1 don't have 
to double-check his facts.” 
nation, concedes The New 


Upon exami- 
York Times, 
‘Nader's allegations almost always prove 
to be based on Government reports. . . 
or on expert opinion." 

As a. result. when. Nader speaks, Con- 
gress listens. Almost singlehandedly, he 
has induced а new Congressional тесер 
tivity to consumer issues. When President 
Johnson signed the Flammable Fabrics 
Act al the White House in 1967, he ex 
hosted the assembled Congressmen: “You 
better get with it, because women ave 
tired of meat with worms in it, blouses 
that burn and pipelines that blow up nn- 
der their houses.” It could have been 
Ralph Nader speaking—and perhaps it 
was, The New York Times Magazine re- 
cently summarized Nader's career as 
super-Ombudsman: “When Ralph Nader 
came to Washington in 1961 and began а 
one-man crusade jor automobile safety, he 
was widely regarded as a high-minded 
crack pol. . .. Today, as he moves quietly 
about town as a self-appointed lobbyist 


for the public interest, he shows signs of 


becoming an institution 

In order to explore his motivations 
and aspirations, and probe more deeply 
into the issues he has articulated in the 
past and plans to raise in the future, 
PLAYHOY interviewed Nader in his fur- 
nished room in Washington. The inter- 
view, conducted by Eric Norden, began 
with a question about the results of Nu- 
der’s crusade for safer cars. 


PLAYBOY: How effective has the 1966 
Traffic Safety Act been—and how much 
real progress there been in anto 
safety since the Congressional hearings? 
NADER: There has been genuine prog- 
res. The passage of the Traffic Safety 
law has created the scaffolding within 
which a truly safe car can be built. Bas- 
ic safety features that have been techno- 
logically and economically f 
several decades have finally been tal 
off the shelf by the industry and added 
to г safer windshields, collapsible 
steering columns, scat belts and safer 
dashboards, shorn of many hazardous 
knobs and sharp edges. The basic pr 
ress, however, is that auto-safety 
are now public issues and not the pri- 
vate domain of the auto manu 
there is now research and development 


issues 


icturers, 


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outside the industry by Government, 
universities and institutes. The forth- 
coming establishment of Federal vehicle 
inspection standards and the reporting 
of defects to the Government by the in- 
dustry are similar forward steps, which 
mean that issues affecting millions of 
Americans ate no longer decided behind 
closed doors in a Detroit board room. 
This is all good, but it isn't nearly 
enough. We will have to allocate far 
more resources to traffic safety—at least 
several hundred million dollars а year 
in the immediate future. In this fiscal 
year, the Government is spending only 
$46,000,000 on traffic safety—a virtual pit- 
tance in light of the gravity of the prob- 
lem and its billion-dollar-a-month. cost. 
So there has been limited progress, but 
there’s a long way yct to go. There is 
still a level of slaughter on our highways 
that strains credulity; if it continues at 
the present rate, one out of every two 
Am пз will be either killed or hospi- 
talized by auto crashes. So this is a 
problem that obviously touches all of us 
and cannot simply be delegated to a few 
timid bureaucrats and then forgotten, 
The fight doesn’t end with the passage 
just begins there. Without 
ete support from the private 
sector, the law could be rendered a 
dead letter. 
PLAYBOY. Until recent years, the auto 
industry did not disclose to the public 
its recall of cars discovered after sale to 
be defecti but the Trafic Safery Act 
requires the manufacturer to notify the 
National Motor Vehicle Safety Bureau 
whenever a recall campaign is initiated, 
thus subjecting the repairs and the origi- 
nal hazard to Federal supervision. Does 
the act place an obligation on the buyer 
to return his car to Detroit once he h 
been notified of the defect? 
NADER: No, it doesn't. In fact, the recall 
law doesn't even require the са 
to the automobile dealer for correction — 
and if the defect is complex, a local 
franchised dealer may not do the job 
adequately or receive the parts from the 
turer without long delays. Un- 
fortunately, many motor 
gent and do not return their vehicles to 
their dealers after the manufacturer sends 
them a certified notification of the de- 
fect. Therefore, we should amend the 
w to provide penalties for noncompli 
ance, either by fining the owner or by 
deregistering the car until it’s repaired. 
PLAYBOY: Lets take a look at some spe- 
cific vehicle features. The 1968 standards 
issued by the National Traffic Safety 
Bureau require Detroit to improve the 
crashworthiness of windshields, Is wind- 


of a la 


manufa 


re negli- 


sh 
NADER: No, but its substantially im- 


ЛА glass now shatierproof 


proved. Windshiclds now have a doublc 
vinyl layer between the glass ti 
stretches on impact and thus attenuates 
energy force and lessens the chance of 
the glass smashing if you hit ir with 
your head. But if hit with sufficient 
force, the windshield will still shatter 
and in such a jagged manner around the 
edges that it can severely cut the occu 
pant around the neck as his head re 
tracts, once the collision force subsides- 


the so-called windshield collar. So the 
situation is far from perfect; but I'm 


l im- 


hopeful that we will sec substan 
provements in the next few years. 
PLAYBOY: You've alo been critical of 
tinted windshields. Why? 

NADER: Because while ordinary glass re- 
duces light transmittance by rough 
12 percent, fully tinted windshields re 
duce it by 30 percent or more. The driv- 
er faces enough problems on the road 
without such a reduction of his visibil 
ty, which is particularly serious at dusk 
and night or in bad weather or in thc 
case of older drivers. Of course. no 
salesman ever mentions reduced visibili- 
ty when he makes his pitch for a tinted 


windshield; he peddles it because it gives 
that cool, soothing greenhouse аша, He 
also claims it's an adjunct to air condi- 


tioning, since it allegedly reduces In 
absorption, although the preponderant 


amount of heat i: 


actually absorbed 


through the roof of the car. It's become 


almost impossible to buy an 
tioned car without a tinted wi 
The dealer frequently tells 
unless he accepts a tinted windshield, he 
will have to wait several weeks or 
months for his car to come through. The 
ironic twist to all this is that, since 
nted windshields are sold as extr 
the consumer is paying more for less 
visibility—and thus less safety. 
PLAYBOY: You've said that power windows 
are still a safety hazard. In what way? 
NADER: When power windows first ca 
on the market, they operated with 
excessive force. This force has been re 
duced 


n most models, but the power is 
I've 
оп of 


still sufficient to cause s 
had cases brought 10 my 
children who would be play 
parked in the driveway or 
the ignition turned off, and a playmate 
presses the power button while another 
child looking out the window; the 
child w be hoisted up. strangled and 
left hanging out of the car. In carly 
April ol this year, 
was strangled in West Los Ang 
he played with his oney 
father’s 1967 


ngulatioi 


sister 
the 
was off and the boy had his 


head out the window when his sister 
accidentally pressed the button. In late 


Seagram's 
(00 PIPERS 


Scorn wis 


PLAYBOY 


82 


Actual Size 


3 for 50c 
In individual Flavor-Gard tubes 


the idea * 
> 
—fs- 


“~ 


April, an eight-year-old boy in Dunsmuir, 
California, was strangled when one of 
his playmates accidentally pushed the 
button activating the rear window of his 


family's station wagon. I know of one 


сазе where a woman was sitting 
front scat smoking and rcached out the 
window to tap away some ash just as 
her husband hit the power button; the 


the 


window snapped shut and chopped her 
finger off. These are hazards that can 
be remedied by a simple engineering 


modification that will stop a window 
whenever it encounters an obstruction, 
such as an arm or a hand. But that hasn't 
been done, And ny models still allow 
such windows to be operated on the 
drivers side with the ignition off, and 
the rest of the windows can be operated 
by turning a special switch. The Na- 
tional Highway Safety Bureau recently 
warned the public about power-window 
dangers and urged moto 
“mechanic or dealer adjust the wiring so 
that the windows cannot operate unless 
the ignition switch is on.” This is a 
fairly simple 
tion, yet the manufacturers а 
lowed to produce cars without it. 
PLAYBOY: Ате you satisfied with the 
padded dashboards added to all the new 
models? 

NADER: This is one area where im- 
provement has been encouraging. There 
are still, however, dangerous interior 
features in many c 
numerous models, the ion key still 
juts out at knee level, and upon even 
low-speed impact, can stab through the 
driver's kneecap. Many cars also have 
hooks that can cause serious 


For exampl 


sharp coa 
injuries in a crash. And the ove 
ergy absorption or yielding qu 
dash panels could be much more ellec- 
tive in diminishing the severity of inju- 
ries. The 1969-model standards will offer 
little new, except for head supports to 
inish neck injuries in rear-end col- 
also know of one case—a 25- 
hour collision—in which a little 
girl was virtually decapitated when the 
glove compartment sprung open on im- 
t and, in elect, guillotined her. This 
type of hazard is easily avoidable by the 
simplest and least expensive alterati 
of engincering desigu—a change the auto 
companies have never bothered to mak 
PLAYBOY: A crucial clc n any cars 
handling is its suspension. How good—or 
bad—is suspension in American cars? 
NADER: A car's suspension system, which 
determines how the vehicle interacts with 
the shocks produced by road travel, has a 
twofold function: directional and shock- 
absorbing. As you point out, it performs 
aitical role in the car’s handling and is 
thus an important [actor in auto salety. 


1 en 
lities of 


nent 


Unfortunately, suspension in American 
cars is still quite poor and not as stable 
as in many European cars; compare the 
handling of a better European car with 
an American station wagon and you'll 
feel the difference. American auto manu- 
facturers have opted for the soft, squishy 
ride, as exemplified by advertising that 
promises that driving a particular car is 
1 ir. This type of suspen- 
sion is associated with serious handling 
and highspeed cornering problems for 
drivers, particularly іп quasi-emergency 
situations. Suspension must be improved, 
and I hope sufficient research and devel 
opment will be done in this area so that 
by 1970, the first Federal 
ards on suspension can be issued. 

PLAYBOY: Do sporis cars tend 10 be less 
safe than standard four-door models? 

NADER: Well, you certainly wouldn't 
want to be driving one in a collision; the 
smaller the car—and this applies to the 
smaller European sedans as well as ta 
sports cars—the less the protection for 
the driver on impact. And even apart 
from size, they're pretty low on the scale 
аз far as general crashworthiness goes. 
But some sports cars handle very well 
and have the added advantage of ma 
neuverability, which is the one plus fac- 
tor for a small car. In a collision between 
a small car and a heavicr car, the gen- 
erally larger, heavier Americ 
prove considerably safer 
features—dashboard de: 
are better in some models 


than in 
others; tires and braking systems on 


for 


sample, are gen- 
erally superior, relative to the demands 
made on them. But about the only way 
formed of the superiority or 
rity of such feature: J thus to 
make an over-all decision on any car, 
to read the test studies and commer 
published in Consumer Reports or 
independent auto magazine called Road 
Test. But this is far from enough. Even 
tually. the Federal Government is going 
to have to institute а computerized auto- 
ng system under which cach model is 
exhaustively tested, a comparative 
ysis made and the public then told which 
is the best and which is the worst. Dr. 
William Haddon, head of the 
Highway Safety Bureau, has said tt 
is the ultimate objective of the Federal 
Sovernment. 

PLAYBOY: Some auto-industry critics have 
alleged that Detroit's resistance to safety 
innovations stems from the fact that ob- 
solescence is built into cars and that a 
truly safe car would ako be a longer- 
lasting one. Do you agree? 

NADER: The primary reason the industry 
has been against safety is that it has 
always ound it ea: to sell visible style 
than engineering substance. But there is 


mal- 


the 
thirst slaker 


Falstaff—brewed clear 
to drink fresh. 

'The one that 

wets down a thirst 
with cold, 

foaming flavor. 


CORP ST 1005 MO 


Falstaff м 


PLAYBOY 


a correlation between safety and dura- 
bil d there's no doubt that the 
mi nufactuers build their cars to deteri- 
c after three or four years and thus 
arket turnover. The cur- 
pate of safety accouterments—seat 
padded dashboards, etc.—hasn't 
yet affected. durability; this will be the 
case, however, when real brake, han- 
dling, tire and structural crashworthi- 
ness standards are mandated. But to 
really understand why the industry nev- 
er voluntarily introduced safety features 
such as collapsible steering wheels and 
shatterproof windshields. you've got to 
ask the question: From their perspec- 
tive, why should they? WI incentive. 
did they have to change? Only an ethi 
cal incentive. Big corporations seldom, if 
ever, act out of altruism. 

PLAYBOY: Of the 53.000 people who die 
in auto accidents cach year, has it been 
possible to break down the percentage 
who die from vehicle defects, as op- 
posed to carelessness, drunken. driving, 
bad weather conditions or poor roads? 
NADER: No, we don’t have that kind of 
precise statistical analysis and perhaps 
we never will, since there are so many 
contributing factors leading to accidents, 
hs and injuries. You should also re- 
member that not only are the occupants 
buried in the wreckage but evidence of 
the specific vehicle defect is hidden or 
destroyed. Of course, the problem is 
compounded by thi that in the past 
40 years, nobody has pored over the re- 
mains to determine if or how faulty con- 
struction caused the accident, unlike the 
situation in aviation, where Government. 
and company investigators sift through 
every bit of debris to see if mechanical 
malfunctions were responsible, There 
have been some studies in this arca re- 
cently; a report from a research team at 
the d Medical School concluded 
that vehicle defects and deteriorations 
were the number-one cause of deaths in 
the accidents that they investigated over 
a бусусаг period. However, drunken 
driving is definitely a very serious prob- 
lem; an exhaustive study by a professor 
at Indiana University reveals that if you 
eliminated all drunken driving, you'd 
reduce fatalities by at least 13 percent 
which is a very significant. figure. So 
would appear that better detection of 
and harsher penalties for drunks behind 
the wheel are also needed. But control- 
ling drunks is much more difficult than 
controlling the sale design of vehicles, 
which will protect you and your family 
against drunks or any other cause of 
vehicles going out of control. 

PLAYBOY: You appear, hei 
where, to place what many consider a 
disproportionate emphasis on vehicle as 
opposed to driver safety. Why do you 
stress the necessity of so-called safety 
cars but virtually ignore the problem 
of the driver? Couldn't much tougher 


and else- 


ts, perhaps Federal- 
cross the coun- 


licensing requiremei 
ized and made uni 
try, ensure that potentially lethal cars 
are more expertly and soberly driven? 
NADER: I'm all in favor of tougher licen: 
ing tests and imp lls; 
the concepts of driver and veh 
ty, far from being mutually exclu 
are actually complementary. But for 40 
years, all the emphasis in the arca of 
auto safety has been placed on the 
dri nd still the death and injury 
rate spirals upward every year. At our 
present level of technological proficiency 
it’s much easier to make a safe car than 
it to create a safe driver, and it's 
far more feasible to change the engi 
neering to adapt to the needs of vehicle 
safety than to expect drivers to behave 
properly at all times and under all 
conditions particularly when operating 
a vehicle t is often unstable and un- 
safe. I certainly don't mean to mi 
the very real problem of poor d 
but if your objective is to reduce deaths 
and injuries on the highways, then we 
must develop the most practica 
effective remedy. Whatever c 
dents and casualties, vehicle safety 
the most sensible and efficient means of 
preventing them. If you wish to avoid 
the locking of brakes, for example, you 
could subject 95,000,000 drivers to t 
ing courses that would teach them how 
not to lock their brakes, particularly 
in emergency stops on wet and slip- 
pery pavement. And after they have 
learned all this in a special driving 
school, you can hope that they will re- 
member it five weeks or five years in the 
future. But if you take the engincering 
approach, you coukl easily build 
ntilocking brake system into the vel 
so that the driver can't lock his brakes. 
even if he passionately desires to do so. 
I also can't stress enough that with 
ign, accidents сап be safe. A 
h head on 
tree and be constructed in such a 
way that the occupants are not injured. 
What we are confrouting in this area is 
Pavlovian-type advertising indoctrina- 
tion over the past two generations that 
has b hed the public into be- 
lieving it is the driver who must adapt 
to the vehicle and not the vehicle tha 
must adapt to the driver. I'm all in favor 
of good driving, but even a race driver 
like Graham Hill couldn't escape un- 
scathed if his bi 5 failed at high 
speeds because of an enginccring or struc- 
tural defect. Let's have good drivers —but 
above all, let's have good cars for them 
to drive. We'll always have accidents 
and, human nature being what it is, 
we'll always have bad dri j—but with 
a safer car, there is no reason the two 
must converge in the death or maiming 
of the driver or of those in another car. 
PLAYBOY: New York State has subsidized 


form 


ain- 


ar 


nw 


the feasibility study of a prototype safety 
car, How successful has this effort been? 
NADER: The progress has been very en- 
couraging—but it has largely stopped. 
The subcontractor, Republic Aviation, 
has completed two engincering feasi- 
bility studies that conclude that a sale, 
attractive and reasonably priced car sui 
able for mass production cam be Че 
veloped—one that would protect the 

iver from almost any injuries at colli- 
трасі speeds of up to 50 mile: 
hour and make higher-speed col 
at least survivable. Just how significant 
this is can be seen by the fact that 
about 70 percent ol all motorist deaths 
and serious injuries occur at impact 
speeds of 55 mph or less So this is ex- 
tremely good news. What is rather dis 
couraging is that New York State will no 
longer fund the project, which was orig- 
inally planned to cost $5,000.000 for 
research, development, construction and 
testing of about 15 prototype safety ve- 
hicles, and the Federal Government has 
granted only $70,000 for its continua 
tion. This particularly ur 
ause New York authorities 
such a research project could have been 
completed in 18 months if the $5,000,000 
l lable from the outset. 
And yet the U.S. Government, which 
spends three billion dollars every month 


in Vieu which spends $120,000,000 
for an atomic submarine, which spends 
$6,000,000 for one F111 jet plane, 


which spends at least $200,000.000 a 
year for a civilian supersonic-aircralt 
project. which spends $100.000.000 to 
$150,000,000 a year for highway beauti- 
fication, which spends $40,000,000 a year 
for the safety of migratory birds, cannot 
invest $5,000,000 in a vehicle vaccine that 
could prevent the deaths and inju 
of millions of Americans every yi 
many times the number of those killed 
ny of our wars. What а tragic distor- 


control of automotive technology by the 
auto companies is nevertheless being 
gradually broken down, and the future 


funding of m; п safe- 
ty by the Federal nent may 
speed up the arrival of an age of excit 


ng automot novation—and safety- 
PLAYBOY: Despite your claim that сот. 
plete automobile safety would not be 
inconsistent with good design and high 
performance, many of your critics suspect 
that your proposed safety car would have 
all the style, speed and maneuverability 
of a tank. How would you answer them? 
NADER: The concept of attractive design 
and good performance and the concept 
of a safety саг are far from incompati- 
ble. Various prototype feasibility stud 
on a safety car show that it can be every 
bit as attractive stylistically and have 
just us smooth performance as the cur- 
rent models "There isn't an automotive 

(continued on page 196) 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


An insider. The kind of guy who knows where to find what he wants—from the loveliest playmates 
to the liveliest parties. And PLAYBOY is his guide to the good life. Facts: PLAYBOY leads the maga- 
zine field as the most avidly read publication among young men today. More than 7,000,000 of 
them spend five days reading a typical issue with an average of three hours in reading time. To 
turn the insider out, look into PLAYBOY. He does—and often. (Source: 1967 W. R. Simmons Report.) 


New York . Chioago • Detroit - Los Angeles • San Francisco + Atlanta * London + Tokyo 


=т= 


| 
| 


o 


x 


Fiction Wy J.P DONLEY 


малик sauutazan’s father died his mother 
moved from the big house off Avenue Foch 
to a sprawling apartment overlooking the 
gardens of the Palais Royal. Miss Hortense 
the English governess with her tall flow 
ay willing way came each istmas, 
aster and summer holiday. Taking Ваа 
rar back and forth to Paris Irom the green 
low hills of England and the echoing class 
rooms of school. While his mother went 
hither and thither to Baden Baden, Liechten- 
stein and Biarritz, to one for a cure, to the 
next for taxes and to the last to swim. 

And this summer now hot and dry. A 
White dust rising to whiten leaves im the 
Tuileries. Balhazars mother asleep till 
late afternoons. At nights to dinners and 

and weekends away from Gare St 
с to the country. А Czechoslor 
Woman came to cook and a Russian to 
dean, They had their Junch in the big 
Kitchen with the high walls hung with pots 
and pans. 

Mornings Miss Hortense would sit doing 
the English paper cossword puzzle and 
ply dominoes between the plates with 
Balthazar. And in the warm cool at night, 
hand in hand icy sat on the balcony 
Above the garden. "The shadowy stone urns 


JLLUSTRATION. BY MARVIN HAYES 


PLAYBOY 


88 


with upturned 17 spears, and four fish 
hook prongs to keep out intruders. And 
one year ago Miss Hortense said 1 think 
it’s time you called me Bella. 

Each day to laugh down the steps and 
out across the gardens. To sit a while 
where the solemn little children played 
under the thick chestnut trees. Or watch 
the marionettes in the Tuileries. And the 
favorite hours to quietly read away an 

fernoon on the sentinel pale grec 
chairs. Miss Hortense to be seated with 
her pillow, her elegant long legs crossed 
in the hot sunshine. By a bed of pink 
roses while the sparrows pecked and 
scratched and bathed. 

The mornings at dawn Balthazar 
heard the keeper open the gates. And 
sometimes alone and dressed, Bella asleep, 
10 go down and skip along the brown and 
black tiles of the arcade and pirouette on 
cach four leaved shamrock. Bella said it 
was good for Irish Juck. Then pause to 
read the garden rules which said no wri 
ing on the walls, no sound instruments 
and no games which can bring trouble to 
the tranquillity of the pedestrian. 

And on this soft summer Saturday 
night. As Balthazar and Bella walked 
hand in hand past the black fence bars 
topped with golden spears. By the stamp 
shop and where the old strange watches 
stood in the window with colored pic- 
tures on their faces. And near to me Was 
Bella. The dose up of her gray eyes was 
green. And her breath as sweet as roses. 
When she told her secrets in wide eyed 
words. And whispered dreams. And 
laughed when she lost at chess. 
althazar. 
їсз my Bell 
You know something. 
“What.” 

“1 am going away. 
“Where. What do vou mean. 
“I am going away from vou. 
"Why 
“It is too complicated. to explai 
“Has my mother told you to. 

No not ye 
“Then why. Don't you enjoy coming 


"Yes. 
"Then wh 
"Because this is all very foolish.” 
is foolish.” 
е growing up. You're getting. 
tall. A full inch above my shoulder last 
year. And now, see. You come right to 
the top of my ear. When first we met 
you were only up to here. Soon you will 
be thirteen. You don't need me any- 
more.” 
“Thats rather an unfortunate thing 
for you to say Bella. I don't understand 
why you've chosen to discuss this at 


ause it is ruining my life co 
here three times а year.' 

Passing the windows of the red car- 
peted theater. And into the peristyle 
courtyard, Crossing between the stone 


ng 


pillars, they stood ni 
with the golden walls and carved 
painted ceilings and the mirror 


you 
could look up at from the courtyard and 


see down from the restaura 
to tables where customers were lei 
lavishly eati 
а gentleman's hand with gold rings, his 
fingers opening and closing upon a glass 
stem which he raised to swirl a wine 
bencath his nose. On the restaurant. win- 
dow it said Sherry Goblers and. Lemon 
Squash. Miss Hortense took a deep 
breath and raised her eyebrows and 
bent forward as she walked. 

“Bella, I did not know 1 was ruining 
your Ше. 

"It was unfair of me to say.” 

"You told me it was nice these holi- 
days like this. And you could give all 
the gentlemen about Kensington a mer- 
ry dance. And you had your nice little 
change of situations, 

“O God what a mess. Don't you sec I 
love you. And you are far too old to be 
loved 

A strange shiver comes upon the back 
of th nd goes down the spine 
nd lingers between the legs. The sound 
of our slow feet passing over the w 
the tiles. The Тасе shop. Rooms 
ight behind curved shiny windows above 
under the roof of the arcade. And through 
all the black muddy months there loomed 
her n 
how she bent cach thumb backward оп 
her wrist and could spin her skirt high 
up over her knees and always forgot to 
castle her ki 

To come now through to the empt 
street and back to the litte bell and 
mel door. Clim! 


great dark green en: 
up these stairs. The incense smelling 
vestibule, 


Bella I am fond of you too. 
“Don't you see that is the trouble 
Feeling a tender trembling and shak- 

ing. Her summer tanned back and the 

cool brown across her shoulders. The 
white skin under the straps of her light 
blue summer frock. My breath seems 
ist the back of my eyes. 
into the salon 
and went quickly from table to table to 
turn on all the blazing lights. 

Why have you done that, Bel 

“I don't know. I think it’s as well. 

Your mother is away. There’s no one 

here the whole weekend. I've turned on 

the lights that's all. 

“You're awfully upset.” 

“The fact of the matter is I'm twenty 
four and should be married.” 

But every man will have you 
"That docs not mean 1 want one of 

them. There's little to choose between 

a amning solicitor and а rich dunce. 

cept my choice would be neither of 

them 
“If you marry the cunt 
he’s sure to be very rich one d 


ig solicitor 


"And his heart and soul completely 
poor. 

"But Bella you said yourself that only 
moncy matters, amd for a woman its 
better even to have her own.” 

"Yes. I said t and its true. ГЇЇ be 
cured next week when I buy а new hat. 

"Shall we play chess.” 
don't feel like it tonight." 

t is not too late to go to the theater. 
“No 

"Do you w: 
e you alone. 
For heaven's sake no." 

“I am awfully sorry that E have made 
you so unhappy. 

Miss Hortense against the edge of the 
high gray marble table where she put 
back her arms and pressed the heels of 
her hands. And her fingers whitening as 
they tightened around the cold hard 
stone. 

^O God it's crazy. I's c In fact 
it’s far too funny. Here T am. good Lord, 
in love with a twelve year old boy.” 

Miss Hortense turned from where she 
leaned and slowly rolled herself over the 
rm rest and fell deep into the green 
brocided sofa of eider down. This still 
night the end of June. Faint horns honk- 
ing along Rue Honoré and thc mem- 
ory of an afternoon three years ago 
when I went down into the Métro of 
the Palais Royal. past the blue smocked 
woman at a desk with her plateful of 
centimes and stood to wee wee elbow 
high to a nearby man. Upon whose 
gleaming patent leather shoe I peed. 
And he reared backward stamping h 
foot, his own pee crazily sprinkling h 
trousers and tiled floor. I quickly bur 
toned up and ran. Out past the phalanx 
of dark brown cubicles and up into the 
street into Miss Hortense’s arms. And 
when she asked what did you do I said 
I peed on a m nd there he is now 
with his black briefcase shaking his um- 
brella. And Miss Hortense turned and 
smiled and made him a fluttering curtsy. 
Bella why do you say this when I 
е told you that I love you too." 
Balthazar it's пог your fault. I can't 
expect you to understand. What could 
you ever know about women." 
I want to learn. I have read some 
most unseemly books.” 

"God you're so sweet. And 1 mustn't 
say I could kiss you.” 

The tinkling 8:30 chime of the gold 
mantel clock. Miss Hortense’s brown 
long legs shooting akimbo on the gleam 
ing parquet. Her big toes upturned from 
her sandals. A great heaving sigh whis- 
pering out her lips. 

“I don't like you staring at me like 
that Balthazar. Do you think you should 
go and find something to do. 

“Why.” 
“Because I thi 
Why." 
"Don't ask me why." 

(continued. overleaf) 


nt те to go away and 


k it would be propa 


“Well now, that's the kind of art form I'd like to get into!” 


PLAYBOY 


90 


“Then I will not go and find some 
thing to do." 

"Don't 

"I won 

“I don't care if you don't. 

“And I don't care that you don't care 
that I don't 

“Then don't." 


“Then I am going to go and sew.” 
Miss Hortense standing. Her sandals 
g a flapping noise on the floor. 
Passing by Balthazar as he stood n 
the door. His blue jacket closed and his 
incl trousers long and white. Miss 
Hortense went by the fruit basket on 
the dining table and snatched out a 
pear. The strong muscles in the backs of 
her legs. And the thin tapering ankle 
and tendon down into her heels. Н 
bedroom door closing. I wemble and my 
heart thumps. Tight and hot in my hcad 
above the eves. 

Balthazar turned off the lights of the 
salon, save one by the window and 
bookcase where he knelt and pulled vol- 
umes from the shelves. A faded green 


spine which faintly read The Neighbor- 
hood of Dublin. His fathers large 
scrawled signature i the cover. 


Tales Uncle Edouard told. Of the noble 
and splendid blood of the Celt flowing 
through our veins. Alter the battle of 


of the Wild Geese from Ireland to 
. They were brave men of ur 
quenchable principle. And he was one 
iant fellow, a Royal Astronomer of 
l. He knew much of ether and 
even electricity. And from this great 
house he watched by telescope out into 
the solar system. It was only because of 
the clouds that he did not get much 
chance to see the stars. Remember al- 
ways you arc of Irish kings as well as of 
France, and all Irishmen are kings but 
not all kings are Irishme 

With four tomes under arm and Paris 
bells tolling 11 o'clock Balthazar passed 
along the dark hallway to his room. The 
dry creaking of the boards beneath the 
fect. Miss Hortense's door with a bright 
dot of keyhole. ‘To pause to knock. And 
no. She may never like me anymore. 
And tomorrow we were going to go to 
Sèvres. To see the porcelain in the mu- 
жип. All our splendid days we wan- 
dered here and there, Along the banks 
and bookstalls of the Seine. In and out 
the alley darkened streets, Huchette, 
Suger, St. André des Arts, passing under 
gray peeling walls, buildings like full 
old bellies, buttons bursting and washer- 
women's eyes staring sullenly down. Of- 
ten they stopped at St. Germain des 
Prés for citron. pressé and all the young 
gentlemen giggled at Miss Hortense's 
horsy elegant beaut 
shoulders as they went by and laughing 
in their litle groups to catch Bella's 
cool gray green eye. She would rise up 
tall between the café tables. Her white 


beaded summer bag tucked neatly be- 
neath a breast. And with the other cool 
hand to throw her hair back upon her 
shoulder and purting aloft her head, the 
tiniest smile across her lips, she stepped 
out on the boulevard, her hips gently 
shiftng to and fro. A grin on her face 
as a ау went up from the café table, 
long live mademoiselle so magnificently 
callipyge. 

Balthazar bent an eye to the keyhole, 
A yellow light and golden drapes at the 
cnd of the room. To be shut out from 
all her warmth 


a ags her 
light blue dressing gown from a chair. 
And a night three summers ago I awoke 
to rumbling thunder to stumble afeared 
out into the corridor. To 
door. Nannie, о dear I а 
ened, But not loud enough. for her to 
hear. Too shy to knock and too shy to 
show my fear. And suddenly her door 
opened and lightning whitened her win- 


dow and flashed behind her. Her body 
so long and slender and outlined against. 


the light through her sleeping gown. 
She held me there and then said come, 
get into bed with me, put your head on 
my pillow and I will tell you why there 
is no need to be afraid. Because they 
are playing skittles in the sky and when 
they want to throw a ball, it's only that 
God puts on the lightning so that they 
can see. And then there's the big boom 
X the rain comes down to wash away 
all the mess. And in sleep 1 snuggled 
and clutched to her and dreamt I flew 
оп a white horse up steps right into the 
sky and jumped over clouds 
fingers into solt crushed 
cream. And at morn to wake 
her brown long hair streaming across 
the pillow. As the triangle of sunlight 
sc up the green wall. And the clutch 
of deep dark small freckles on her back 
and I put a finger there to rub one away 
ad she rolled over and smiled, her eyes 
so gaily alight and sparkling and she 
slowly withdrew one of her long long 
arms from under the covers and reached 
out and pushed me on the nose and said 
hey you, you must get out of here now. 
“Balthazar. Is that you out there 
ag 
“What are you doing there.” 
“Looking through your keyhole. 
“What can you see.” 
“Nothing.” 
‘Come 


then. 
ing down the handle on 


and blinking h Hortense 
The blue linen counterpane 
awn to the bottom and up into the 
soft peach blanket stuck her knees and 
toes. The pillows piled high, a book 
clipped open by her elbow and shiny 
needle in her hand. 

“Goodness Balthazar what are you 
doing with that awful pile of books." 

"Reading. 


it down. Reading what." 
“This one is about tunnels and rail- 
ways. And this, it’s a book about Dub- 
Have you ever been there." 


“Тһаг a city in the north of Ireland. 
Where they march and beat great drums 
and say they are up to their knees 
Catholic blood and up to their necks in 
slaughter." 

That's not awfully nice 
No. It's not 


talk of Dublin.” 

“Yes he liked it there. And the pints 
of stout and chunks of cheese that he 
had in the momings in a pub. He read 
Divinity at Trinity College. He said 
was the happiest time of his life. And he 
always said, that there in Dublin, the 
sun shone in on our lives. 

"Bella, you're not cross at me are 
you.” 
'No. Of course not, why should I be. 

“I don't know. I feel awfully badly 
when I think you're cross with me. And 
now I [eel much worse that perhaps you 
might be going to go away. 

“You're such a silly boy.” 

"You know I'm not silly.” 

“Yes 1 know you're not silly. I'm silly 
I suppose. And really you're old enough 
to know. That I am going to have to go. 
Aren't you. But it's not that T want to. 
It is nice to be with you. And we do like 
so many things together. And so you 
know don't you that it's nor that I want 
to. And that it has bcen the happicst 
time of my whole life. "That I've ever. 
had. Don't hang your face down like 
that, 

"Fm not." 

“You are. Come sit over here on the 
bed." 

Balthazar put his tomes оп the floor. 
And crossed о M Hortense's bed. 
Where the light shone down on the 
white folded sheet and her slender arms 
sat in cushioned little white cloth val- 
leys. She lifted up an embroidery frame. 
Its streaming blue and green and yellow 
thread: 

“Do you think this 

“It looks such a hore to do 

"Alter all my work that's what you 
say. Any) nt to tell 
you. That this is not good for cither of 
us. Soon you will want to be with girls 
your own age, And God knows I ought 
to be putting a rope around some gen- 
tleman and tying his ankle to my stove. 
You see Balthazar when I'm not with 
you. Well I don't know what I'm going 
to say. Many men have asked me to 
marry. It may be me or my litle money. 
They all seem to get to know rather too 


quickly for my liking that 1 have a small 
income. But each time something al- 
ways goes wrong and either I hate them 


or they hate me 


(continued on page 98) 


PLAYBOY'S FALL G&. WINTER 
FASHION FORECAST 


the definitive statement on new directions in 


garb and gear for the man on the go 


attire BY ROBERT LGREEN ronay, as readers of 


pLaynoy know, the well-dressed American male is по 
longer a sartorial conservative; the ultranarrow tie and 
the natural-shoulder suit have been elegantly eclipsed 
by a host of turned-on togs that are fashionable without 
being faddist or far out. Epitomizing the new "now" look, 
say we, the latest in outerwear will go to great lengths to 
emphasize its long, lean line, fitted tailoring, wider lapels 
and higher Edwardian collars; and rain capes styled after 


donned b 
suede, fur and poli 


those worn by London bobbies will be 
garb minority. Also expect to se 
outerwear in trim waist-length and trench-coat model 

Last April, we р the Mao coat—with its stand-up 
collar and Lapelless front—would open new fashion directions and 
strongly influence suits, sports apparel and formalwear. Judging 
from the revolutionary array of tunictype innovations that has, 
indeed, appeared in the past six months, our prognostication was 
right on the button. For the months ahead, we aver, you'll be able 
to choose from an increasing abundance of tunicinspired items, 
ranging from pajamas and bathrobes to overcoats and rainw 

While making your fall and winter selection of shaped suits and 
sports jackets, consider acquiring at least one or two with wide 


an avant 


ar. 


pels, to be worn with a wide, Windsor-knotted tie and a mediu 
spread or long-pointed-collar shirt, in such shades as pumpkin, 
apricot, chocolate or navy blue. We also predict that suit and 
ats with greatcoat and pointedstyle collars will gain in- 
(text concluded on page 96) 


sports 


creasing acceptance during the next 


To copture the switched-on look of todoy’s pacesetting fashions, we've 
focused our comeres on men in motion, fast movers who've donned on 
elegant orroy of supercontemporary attire. Opening page: Shipshope 
bootswain maintains his military bearing in an oye-catching ontiqued- 
leother belted trench coat, by Cortefiel, $175. These pages, left: Well- 
shoded hot-shot responds to four firehouse belles who ore turned on by 
his wool twill belted suit with pointed collar, by Pierre Cardin U. S. A., 
$175, worn with mesh cotton shirt, by Lew Wold, $18, and woven silk tie, 
by Rolph Lauren for Polo, $10. Sportive swinger is pushed to the fashion 
foreground weoring c cotton voile fiy-front shirt, by Anthony Calardo 
for Clotheshorse, $20, textured topestry cotton slacks, $35, and velvet 
sash, $3, both by Dunlee. Trofficstopping skateboard champion makes 
his move in c worsted rib twill suit with grectcoot collar, by John Homp- 
ton Ltd., $150, Docron and cotton spread-collor shirt, by Van Heusen, $8, 
ond wide silk tie, by Rolph Lauren for Polo, $12.50. High-stepping 
gentlemon is heod and shoulders cbove the modding crowd in o brood- 
toil evening jocket, by Allen Case, $850, crepe shirt with front ruffle, by 
Palacio, $40, ond worsted broodcloth stocks, by Poul Ressler, $19. 


Three high-flying tripsters aboard an Oriental airliner take to the wild blue yonder togged in far-aut apparel. Below, left ta right: Male mocha 
drinker gets service with o smile attired in an imported cotton floral-print shirt with balloon sleeves, $39.95, and wool twill slacks, $55, both by Jox. 


Hookah holder is hooked on his French cottan tapestry tunic jocket with fabriccovered butions, stand-up collar ond deep center vent, $165, worn 
aver polyester and wool whipcard slacks with wide-cut legs, $27, both by Europhilio. Casual gentleman maintains scholarly interests while wear- 
ing an English worsted and silk belted floor-length robe with trumpet sleeves, by Turnbull & Asser, $125. A trio of fashionable frontiersmen has 
no reservations about sartorially upstaging a band of hard-charging Annie Ockleys and sweet Sioux. Take-charge chap with the reins comes оп 


strong in а worsted twill suit with windowpane overplaid that features a greatcoat collar and angled flap pockets, by John Hampton Lid., $150, 
minicheck Dacron ond cotton permanent-press shirt with pointed collar and barrel cuffs, by Creighton, $B.50, and wide silk grenadine tie, by 
Ralph Lauren for Polo, $12.50. Lad at center stage goes for a Tetron and viscose twill six-button double-breasted suit with greatcoat collar and flared 
leg bottoms, by Franklin Bober far Clinton Swan, $80, striped cotton broadclath pointed-collar shirt with French cuffs, by Gant, $12, and Italian 
pebble-weave silk tie, by Oleg Cassini, $8.50. End man keeps his cool in a wool herringbone tweed suit with no-vent jacket, $450, topped off 
with a matching fly-front outercoat with Mao collar, $300, both by Guy LaRoche, and silk neck scarf, by Jean Casanave, $8. Adventuresome 
execs head officeward in first-rate gear. Running-boord chairman up front prefers а Trevira and wool twill four-button double-breasted suit with 
peck lapels, by Oleg Cassini, $165, striped cotton broadcloth spread-collar shirt, by Gant, $12, wide silk twill tie, by Hut, $4, and Italian silk 
pocket square, by Handcraft, $3. He's backed up by a buddy who wears o cavalry wool twill sixbutton double-breasted suit with deep side vents, 
by Hardy Amies U.S. A, $150, striped Dacron and cotton broadcloth shirt, by Creighton, $8.50, and wide silk tie, by Turnbull & Asser, $15. 


PHOTOGRAPHY HY ALFENAS URRA 


h Norfolk and modified-Norfolk belted jackets 
with suppressed waists and roomy patch pockets. And while you're 
buying, also look for both single- and double-breasted woven kni 
a great wrinkle-free traveling companion, even 
when packed into an overcrowded suitcase. 
Regardless of the fashion direction you take, remember that per- 
1 style is of paramount importance. If you're under five feet, 
for example, think twice before purchasing an ultralong over 
coat, despite the fact that it's making fashion h lines And 
you're losing the battle of the bulge, cross both tight-fitting double- 
breasted suits and stovepipe slacks off your list and round out your 
wardrobe by concentrating on clothes that will flatter your physique. 
All in all, the fashion prospects for the coming fall and winter 
are alive with dash and flair: Tired sartorial clichés are giving way 
to bold new combinations of colors and fabrics, and such classics 
belted leather coats are enjoying a comeback. For an illustrative 
look at what on-the-go urbanites with a gift of garb will be wear- 
on, check the action on these and the preceding pages. 


six months, along w 


ing this sea 


Sidecar suitor favors waol and polyester chalk stripes. by Elegantissimo, 
$115, wom with cotton broadcloth shirt, by Schiaparelli, $20, and 
velvet bow tie, by Turnbull & Asser, $7.50. Three dressed-right urbanites 
make graund contact with a comely oviatrix. Chop closest to cockpit 
likes a buffalohide jacket, by Ericson af Sweden, $120, and Shetland 
turtleneck, by Drummond, $17, over plaid wool slacks, by Contact, $12. 
Guy in the possenger seot prefers on ontiqued-calf jacket, by Cortefiel, 
$100, and plaid wool slacks, by Carbet, $22. Traveling man digs o 
corduroy Norfolk suit, by Stanley Blacker, $B0, bulky-weave cotton shirt, 
$11, and matching tie, $4, both by Creighton. Good skate sprints in а 
Shetland cardigan, $50, and matching muffler, $30, worn with cotton 
turtleneck, $25, and corduroy slacks, $45, all by Bill Blass for PBM. 
Handcor-riding get-out-of-tawnsmen are on the right track with, left ta 
right: Cotton corduray tunic-type jacket, by D'Avenza Roma, $110, wor- 
sted and mohair evening trousers, by After Six, $45, ond silk ascot, by 
Palacio, $10; velvet evening suit, by Stanley Blacker, $95, worn with 
ruffled silk shirt, by Meledandri, $65; ond sari silk evening suit with fly- 
front snap closures and a deep center vent, by Lino Lentini, $350. 


PLAYBOY 


98 


RITE OF LOVE „ао page 90) 


“I want to marry you.” 
Balthazar. 

You mustn't laugh. You are only 
twelve years older.” 

“But your whole life, what you are 
going to do, where you are going to go. 

1 think I am going to go to Dublin 

“Ah, that is something nice." 

Miss Hortense's arm fell slowly and 
her hand touched Balthazar's blue serge 
sleeve. As she always did when she was 
pleased, reach out and touch me gently. 
h a closed mouth smile. 

‘And you know Bella how awfully 
ich I am. And when 1 am of age I can 
go where I want and you can come 


To Africa and 
America. Will you wait for me to grow 
up. Will you please, Bella." 
"That is the most wonderful. proposal 
I have ever had." 
"Will you then, Will you please. 
When I finish school before I go to col- 
lege we could be married." 
“You're so serious aren't you. And I 
will then be over thirty." 
"| would not care.” 
Yes you would. Your cye would be 
seeking out the young ladies." 
“I would never want anyone else.” 
“Heavens, heavens. And what am I to 
do then from now till you become of 
age. 
“Three times a year you would be 
here with me in Paris. We could go to 
Bucharest and from there to St. Peters- 
burg, We could go to Dublin, And have 
cheese like your father did and the sun 
would shine in on us.” 
l. You are. You have more 
daring than on a trapeze. God how girls 
are going to waste their tears on you. 
Balthazar slowly stood up from the 
bed. Miss Hortense laid her embroidery 
away at her side. Her dressing table 
with her ivory brush and mirror and 
comb. The crimson lining of her open 
pigskin writing case with envelopes blue 
and pink. A lone bottle of scent and toi- 
let water. Where his mother's bath was 
shelved high with colognes and sweet 
essences of faint colors and perfumes in 
all their tall fat crystal bottles. To bend 
now to pick up these tomes. 
“О please don’t go away like that. 
"I will. Because at least I have told 
you of what is in my heart.” 
"Don't go away like this Balthazar.” 
“I am. Why should 1 not.” 
"No. Don't. Come back here.” 
Balthazar turned and laid the books 
on the chair. He walked back to the 
bed. And as his knees touched the edge, 
Bella's hand reached out and switched 
off the table light. And her hand felt 
and took his hand and she pulled him 
gently down. Her fingers up through the 


short hairs on the back of my head, and. 
cool they touch in behind my ear. Tum- 
bling down into her arms she whispers 
out O God come to me. Her kisses over 
my mouth. On the cheeks and eyes. Her 
tongue along the side of my neck and 
deep into my ringing ear. АП the bells 
of Paris. And stormy choirs sing when it 
is not yet Mass or Sunday but her silky 
long slender arms, smooth wrists, and 
soft slim hands, She breathed her breath 
catching in her lungs. And I can hardly 
breathe at all. Her hard teeth as she 
bites into my mouth. Her hand at my 
throat to undo my tie. Pulling herself up 
out of the sheets. Hair strings of shadow 
hanging round her head. I watched in 
the gardens once her fingernails as she 
sat and scratched her thigh and they 
made big long white marks on her sun- 
ny skin. Distant fingers unbuttoning my 
shirt one by one. And close by lips kiss- 
ing me upon the breasts. Bella tell me 
what to do. Nothing nothing. Just take 
off your clothes. And so strange to won- 
der. Of all these years of dreams. To 
reach one day in the laundry room to 
secretly touch her drying underthings 
more close to her than I ever hoped to 
be. And now lie side by side all along 
her body and feel it pressed to mine, 
like two bodies all of your own. One 
here and one you reach around. Bella is 
what we're doing love. Yes yes. Hurry 
tell me how. You'll see you'll see. And I 
see. Bella on top of my mind chewing a 
cashew nut. Bella what do І do. Noth- 
ig nothing now. Like that flush of jeal- 
ous courage two days ago. Waiting for a 
seat on the back of the bus to Place du 
Pont Neuf. When the conductor pinched 
her on the bottom and Miss Hortense 
widened her eyes, squared her shoul- 
ders, raised her brows and parasol and 
said in English keep your hands to your- 
self you miserable lile man and the 
conductor laughed and as they returned. 
once more to alight, he reached to pinch 
again and her parasol came slashing 
down across his wrist. It was an 
friendly time. To reach and gouge out 
grinning eyes. Or wait one day till I 
was big enough to slap his cheek and 
shake his molars. For now I touch. All 
of this most precious prize, Here from 


un- 


the top of her head to the tip of her big 
toes. Can I touch and put my hand ru 


g over you you're so smooth. Yes you 
you сап and come on top of me 
Bella Bella it's coming out of me. It 
won't stop. All over you. O darling you 
mustn't mind, sweetest and dearest, let 
it come out over me, you must not 
mind. Bella tell me what did I do. It’s 
all right now. It should have been inside 
you. Yes but it's all right, you mustn't 
mind. I know it means you'll never mar- 
ry me. And I hope I haven't been vile. 


cai 


althazar it’s really all right, really it is. 
I feel all ashamed and all awful inside 
You must tell me, Balthazar, tell me if 
you do. All around in me it's going very 
strange indeed, you're not a servant or a 
town girl in the street but if I've done 
this I can't be in love. O God what are 
you talking about, love is for everybody 
wherever it may be no matter what you 
are. You're so young you see, full of all 
those tall tales of all those little boys. 
It's not vile, it's not that at all, but what 
I'm doing to you is so wrong. Why do 
you say it's wrong. Because it's my duty 
to take care of you. But isn’t this the 
best care there could be then. Balthazar 
you're asking such damn questions and 
knowing answers too damn fast, bu 

nothing can be answered here. just lie 
now with your silly sad little face. and 
maybe a devil too, you know don't you 
that we should never do this again. If 
anyone found us I would be in an awful 
mess. 

“But there’s no one here but us. And 
if we never do it again you'll never 
teach me.” 

“You know enough already you little 
rabbit.” 

What have you done with men Bell 
‘And what have you done with girls 
Balthazar.” 

“Please Bella, what have you done.” 

"You mustn't ask me questions like 
that.” 

“1 must know.” 
“Why must you know.” 


“Because if you did 1 may never 
speak to you again. 
“O dear Turn around your head. 


Come on. Turn around. You're quite 
spoiled you know. Look at me. Are you 
jealous. A little aren't you.” 

I'm not discussing it. Do you do this. 
Without your clothes and be bed 
with other men.” 

‘And I'm not discussing it 

If you've been like this with other 
men I will kill myself. With arsenic.” 

О Lord." 

I will. 

“Snuggle up close and comly to me. 
Don't let me hear you say that again. Or 
I will be off to Bristol or something like 
that and go on a ship. To the south 
Seas." 

“Bella I love you so much. So awfully 
awfully much." 

"There you mustn't ay. You really 
mustn't. 
“And I never want you to go away for 
ever and ever.” 

m here now. You crazy little rabbit. 
Ym here." 

“If you don't stay wi 
want to grow up at all. 

“But you little rabbit you can't stop 
growing up. You'll know all sorts of 
girls. Through a whole bunch of years. 
Innocent and smiling ones who would 

(continued on page 187) 


ith me 1 don't 


THE PERILOUS PLIGHT OF SIR GEORGE, 
KANDRON THE DRAGON AND THE TWENTY DELECTABLE VIRGINS 


article By ALEXIS A. GILLILAIND a miniguide to ethical relativism, replete with lessons and in- 
structive microfables, to help you tread the good-guy side of the line between moral behavior and that other kind 


uL cume to behavior; and, like the law, it consists of principles that must perforce be illustrated 


examples. Some of the cases in law are pretty farfetched, such as who owns a dead whale that A found 
B's harpoon in him. Nevertheless, these cases—dead whales, escaped foxes and reasonable men—form 
the basis on which the law rests. Observe that the English separated law from equity at a fairly early date, since it 
was obvious that the proper working of the law excluded equity. 

Now, law is to equity as morality is to practicality; and while moral behavior should ideally be practical as well, 
logic demands the separation of the two—particularly since practical behavior has very little to do with morality. 

Much of this trouble derives from the very root source of morality, which is, of course, the moral class. The moral 
class being a set of people who loudly respect one another's good judgment and who, for a fee, will extol your neces- 
virtues. Moral behavior therefore comes to be of advantage to the rich. To illustrate this point, let us examine 


a few cases. Answer true or false. 


1. It is wrong to steal bread if you are starving. 4 
2. It is wrong to steal bread if your children are starving. г 
З. It is wrong to steal caviar if you are starving. (continued on page 184) (f 


fresh ideas for transforming 
nature's most perfect shape into 
man-made culinary delights 


EGGSP0 '68 


food By THOMAS MARIO 


TALENTED EGG CHEFS who've mastered 
and outstripped such breakfast click 
ham and eggs or bacon and eggs, 
who've graduated to eggs at night rath 
er than in the morning, take pride in 
owing allegiance to no pat formula. 
Every man whose culinary hobby is egg 
dishes scems compelled to draw up his 
own rules, to use or to cast aside as he 
pleases poultry or seafood, 


any sauce, garnish or spice within arm's 
reach. 

Egg dishes are especially apropos for 
bachelors entertaining before or after 
the game, the theater, the movies or the 
concert. All bachelors have an appetite 
for improvising or they wouldn't be 
bachelors. Like Louis XIII, whose histor- 
ical claim to fame was that he could 
cook eggs in a hundred different ways 


the man who can compose novel egg 
dishes will be able to keep both himself 
and his guests in fine fettle. 

In this country, hard-boiled eggs are 
normally oval. In Japan, they're tr 
ar, as in the recipe below that calls for 
poached eggs cooked in water. In the 
first dated cookery book, De Honesta 
Voluptate (Venice, 1475), a description is 
given of eggs poached in wine rathe 


than in water, as they still are in the 
Burgundy region of Е cook, 
Alexandre. Dumas, who wrote the Dic- 
tionary of Cuisine, у adventurous as 
some of the heroes in his novels, He 
must have encountered the Italian fritta- 
ta, an omelet folded not into the con- 
ventional pocketbook shape but flat like 
a sumptuous pie, tender as an angel's 
breath, chock full of purple onions. 


spinach, potatoes, grated cheese 

or dried herbs, chopped fillets of ancho- 
vies or anything else edible and suitable 
at the moment to the frittata chef rang- 
ing uninhibited through his larder. The 
frittaia is cut imo big pieshaped 
wedges at the table; and though it takes 
no time to make, it’s notorious for taking 


en less time to disappear after it's 


served. Talk about throwing rules to the 


PLAYBOY 


wind, there's the French omelet pana- 
chée, in which a modest two. or threc- 
egg omelet, colored either red or 
green with the addition of tomatoes or 
tucked inside a big six-egg 
omelet, the whole production sur- 
rounded by a rich ribbon of brown, 
ог tomato sauce. 

ny an egg dish not always listed 
in the egg repertoire turns out to be 
wonderful grist for midnight feasting 
For instance, the great but dated food 
philosopher Brillat-Savarin is credited 
with a fonduc. It contains Swiss cheese 
listed as a cheese dish in cheese 


and 
cookbooks, It's voluptuously rich, and one 
can't imagine anything smoother coming 
out of a chafing dish. But when Brillat- 
Savarin's recipe is examined, it turns out. 
ly a cheese dish so much as 
n egg dish; the weight of the eggs is 
three times that of the cheese. Unlike the 
standard Swiss-cheese fondue that bubbles. 
on and on till the last molecule of cheese 
is wiped up with the last chunk of French 
bread, Savarin's fondue must be snatched 
off the flame as soon as the eggs arc 
‚ the egg dish lends 


nending variations. 


cooked. Herc ag 


sell to delicious 
It may be spooned onto fried bread, 
split toasted brioche or tartlet shells, 
onto plain buttered toast or toast spread 
with anchovy butter. It may be ladled 
over grilled thin ham slices, grilled 
Canadian bacon or crisp bacon slices, or 
over grilled tomatoes, fried eggplant or 
tichoke bottoms. It may be mixed with 
sautéed minced mushrooms, shallots, 
black or white truflles. It can be cate 
cold the next day during the cockta 
hour d on melba t 

Another French dish, called. pipérad 
for some reason or another finds its way 
into the vegetable sections of cooking 
tomes. A pipérade is essentially a scram- 
bled-egg dish; and for its lightness, it de- 
pends upon adding the eggs to the pan 
in a small quantity at a time, while b 
ing constantly, until each new batch 
scrambled. Generally, it’s scented with 
garlic and peppers or pimientos, along 
with other vegetables, and is made айу 
with eggs; but the fluff turns out to be 
its delicious substance rather 1 


icc 


shadow. 

Even quiches, such as quiche Loi 
although rich with cream, flavored with 
bacon or cheese or crab meat, are really 
dependent on eggs for their personality. 
take away the bacon or cheese 
1 still have a quiche; 
у t take away the eggs. In the 
land of the franc and the home of the 
quiche, the pastry shell in which the egg 
mixture is poured has straight sides and 
is Called a Пап. In this country, the 
rim of the dough, for greater conv 
baking and serving, is spread 


out just like a pic shell; the flan is 
flanged. The number of prepared p 
shells ready for the oven that are now 
n food shops is increasing all 
the time. Many are unexpectedly tender 
and delicate in flavor. Quiche fillings 
may contain anything from cooked 
squid to snail to smoked turkey. 

No man is a host unto himself. One 
of the best ways to make guests feel at 
home is to invite them 10 join you at the 
Egg cookery is perfect for play- 
; this seemingly reverschospitality 
game. Do you need some cream for the 
sauce, someone to drai 


snippets? Invite a congenial companion 
to share in the fun 
‘The flavors of both table wines and 


made on. With almost all egg dishes, the 
most likely of all wines to serve is 
the driest of dry champagnes—the blanc 
de blancs of either France or Cali- 
fornia. Ш this seems like flying too high, 
rench graves or a carefully cho- 
iot blanc, chilled but. 
«old, works beautifully. 
Another key to the problem is to think 
not of the eggs but of the garnish that 
goes with them. If, for instance, you 
were serving omelets with creamed- 
chicken hash, glasses of young Pouilly- 
Fuissé would be right on target at the 
table. With poached eggs in red 

beaujolais would be very congeni 
the garnish were lamb kidneys or chick 
з livers in a rich brown sauce, beaujo- 
luis, ара Napa Valley rosé would 
ast a proper spell over the table. 1 
some cases, you might pass up the wi 

entirely. If, for instance, in the wee 
hours of the morning, you were serving 
a platter of scrambled eggs with ancho- 
vies or grilled salt mackerel, a perfect 
ibation would be glasses of ice-cold 
aquavit taken neat, Scand 


n, or a 


е 


тесїре calls for two tablespoons of flour 


n a сир of medium sauce, you must use 
two and not four, or you'll face а minor 
disaster in your saucepan. But there 
other options without end: You can sub- 
stitute zucchini for spinach, yellow pep- 
pers for green, seafood for poultry. 
chives for lions, basil for tarragon, 
white wine for red and, in cach case, 
you'll be creating rather than merely 
copying. The following dishes are de- 
signed to egg you on to culinary heights. 


BRILLAT-SAVARIN'S. FONDUE 
(Serves four) 
6 extra-large eggs 
14 lb, natural gruyère cheese or nat- 
ural Swiss emmentaler cheese 
2 ог. butter 
„ freshly ground pepper 


For this preparation, be sure to use a 
chafing dish over simmering water or 
the top section of a double boile 
not the conventional fondue dish over a 
direct flame. Beat eggs until whites are 
no longer visible as whites. Force cheese 
through large holes of metal grater or 
cut into extremely small dice. Put but 
ter, cheese and eggs in top part of 
chafing dish. Cook over barely simmer. 
ing water, stirring constantly with spoon, 
until fondue is thickened but creamy. 
Add salt to taste and season generously 
with pepper. Remove from heat. Makes 
fine midnight collation with white wine 
or champa; 


SPINACH ERITTATA 
(Serves four) 


6 eggs 

10-02. package frozen leaf spinach, 
cooked 

3 tablespoons olive oil 

yo cup 


% cup diced cclery 

1 large clove garlic, very finely minced 

Y, teaspoon dried basil 

4, teaspoon oregano 

2 medium-size boiled potatoes, small 
dice 

Salt, pepper 


3 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese 


3 tablespoons butter 

Preheat broiler. Drain spinach wcll 
and chop coarsely. Heat oil in a sauce- 
pan, add onion, celery, garlic, basil and 
oregano and sauté over low flame until 
onion is yellow. Add spinach and po- 
atoes and sauté only until all vege 
tables are heated through, Season with 
salt and pepper. Remove from fire. 
Beat eggs with 3 tablespoons cold water 
1 parmesan cheese. Season with salt 
nd pepper. Add vegetables to eggs. 
Heat butter in а lin. heavy iron pan 
or omelet pan. When butter is hot, 
pour egg mixture into pan. As egg cooks 
on bottom, lift sides from time to time 
to let uncooked eggs flow to bottom. 
When bottom is brown but top still un. 
cooked, place pan under broiler flame 
until top of frittata is cooked. Avoi 
browning egg under broiler. Remo 
from broiler and invert frittata onto 
serving platter. 


TRIANGULAR ECG AND SHRIM 
(Serves four) 


SALAD 


4 eggs 
1 Ib. (Cooked weight) boiled shrimps, 
peeled and deveined 
%4 cup water chestnuts, sliced thin 
14 cup sliced pimiento-stufled olives 
1 tablespoon minced fresh chives 
% cup mayonnaise 
1 teaspoon lemon juice 
Salt, pepper 
4 long strips pimiento, 14 in. wide 
% cup canned consommé madrilene, 
cold but not jelled 
(concluded on page 108) 


MR. SWIFT 
AND HIS 
REMARKABLE 
THING 


mommababy and daddybaby 

were psychedillies, but little 
frankiebaby achieved 
the ultimate freak-out 


fiction By JEREMIAH McMAHON 


МОММАВАВҮ WAS IN THE KITCHEN making 
another version of psychedelic stew. “Be 
inventive," urged the author of the rec- 
ipe. The creative cook had responded to. 
an advertisement in Hallucination, a West 
Coast periodical. “PsYCHEDELIC stew and 
OTHER WAY-OUT ITEMS! Send 98 cents in 
stamps. NO BEADS!” The recipe and extras 
arrived in a plain brown wrapper; the 
latter included seeds for AN INDOOR MARI- 
JUANA PATCH, plans for A LOVEIN BASH 
and a photograph of Doctor Timothy 
Leary IN THE NUDE. 

Daddybaby was in town making 
scratch, without which no one can cook 
anything—not even an ordinary, square, 
$35-to-the-ounce golden layer cake. Fre- 
quently, he brooded on the good old 
days at Haight-Ashbury, where first he 
had made it big with Mommababy. 
That was the scene belore she mis- 
placed her pills. в.с., as they referred to 
the time before copout. 

Frankiebaby, their five-yearold son 
and the result of Mommababy's absent- 
mindedness, was floating on a striped 
mat at the far end of the swimming 
pool He was well within the orbit of 
Mommababy's eye. 

“Frankiebaby,” his mother shouted, 
“stay away from that end of the pool. 
Play over here. I don't want you sneak- 
ing into Mr. Swift's pad again—d'you 
hear?" 

IE only she'd leave the kitchen, he 
could slip through the thick wall of hol- 
lyhocks. Then he and the old man could 
finish the project on which they had 
been intently working for almost six 
"weeks. 

The boy aimed his Anti-Establishment 
Laser Ray at his mother. “POO. . . . 
WOW. . . . Pfitsing!” he muttered. He 
slipped into the blue-green water and 
dove to the bonom to think about things. 

Mommababy noticed this adorable little 
hostile gesture. She rushed to the slate 
blackboard over the stove and erased her 
shopping list. REBELLION 1s MATURING, she 


ILLUSTRATION BY ROBERT LOSTUTTER 


PLAYBOY 


wrote in large bold letters. Yes, indeed! 
Frankiebaby was expressing exactly the 
proper amount of hostility and she was 
determined to balance it with well- 
calculated permissiveness. Not too much, 
though! Erwin, her unfortunate little 
brother, had been a victim of that sort 
ОЁ excess. 

“Don't think of nasty things. Think of 
flowers,” she trilled aloud. However, just 
one peep at those hollyhocks jolted her 
back into cruel reality. How much they 
bugged her! Such a loathsome pink! 
The color ruined the effect of the 
black-and-orange-tiled walk around the 
swimming pool. Much worse was the gid- 
dy, towering contraption behind them. 
She found herself staring at Mr. Swift's 
"thing." When she and Daddybaby had 
moved into their brand-new, completely 
decorated, splitlevel, ranch-type Coloni- 
al, there had not been a trace of this 
scabrous tower of junk. 

On that very afternoon, three months 
ago, Mommababy had sauntered down 
to the rickety fence now so resplendent 
with sissy-faced, grinning pink blos- 
soms. She had wanted to be friendly. 
She waved to her neighbor. Mr. Swift 
маз much too engrossed to notice her. 
Не stood in the center of what appeared 
to be an octagonal plot of ground, pipes, 
planks, orange crates, small rocks and 
garlands of string indicating this pecul- 
iar shape. The eight corners were 
marked by rusted pikes driven into the 
hard earth, cach one covered with tat- 
tered red, white and blue bunting. Mr. 
Swift walked along the borders, stopped 
occasionally to look at the sky or to 
scratch either his bare pate or his covered 
bottom. Mommababy called again. He 
looked up, gave her a blank stare and 
continued his computations. She heard 
him say, “Is the missing factor X2" This 
query was addressed to the big toe of hi 
left foot, which, after wiggling and dig- 
Bing in the ground, came up at last, 
apparently without the answer, for the 
old man uttered, "Damnation!" He began 
hopping around on his right leg with 
surprising agility for such an old bird. 
Really quite a sight! His clothes hung on 
his slender frame. He wore an antiquated 
cutaway, no longer black but rather irides- 
cent. Around his waist there hung a silver 
chain and hooked to this odd belt were 
hammers, chisels, a screwdriver, a bat- 
tered copper kettle and an empty bottle 
of Dr Pepper. Bare fect at right angles 
to torn striped trousers seemed down- 
white against the dark earth. The shiny 
top of his head reflected the bright sun- 
shine and a tiny doud of pink hair 
nestled over cach car. 

The house behind him was a sagging 
waterfall of Victoriana. Gingerbread mold- 
ings swooped and sagged; cupolas tilted 
and leaned into the April wind; dormers 
toppled and chimney pots blackened by 
time huddled together like old hobos along 


104 the track of the spiked roof. The back 


porch groaned under piles of papers and 
magazines; enormous stacks of them rose 
up over broken railings and spilled into 
the yard. Three refrigerators, an old ice- 
box and a moosehead clothes rack sat 
beside the Model T under the porte- 
cochere. A row of earlyvintage radios 
littered the back steps. As for the windows, 
every single one was crammed and packed. 
In one, a mannequin wearing a lavender 
boa, a lace shawl and a huge, flowered hat 
surveyed with hauteur and elegance the 
antics of the old man. In another, an old 
Victrola with a fluted flowerlike speaker 
sat surrounded by stacks of warped 
records. Bird cages, hatboxes, bouquets 
of faded silk flowers, fringed and bead- 
ed lamp shades, bicycle wheels, handle 
bars and thousands of empty cartons of 
Baby Ruths, Hershey bars and Jujubes 
threatened to burst through the glass of 
other windows. The whole house seemed 
ready to explode at the seams and the 
shingles ached from the inner pressure. 

“Up, up and away . . . how beeoo- 
tiful, how bee-oo-tiful,” Mommababy 
sang in a high soprano. She checked the 
oven temperature and saw that her stew 
was bubbling away. She tried mot to 
look at the weird assemblage that hov- 
ered over the pool. It was fascinating. 
What in the name of the Maharishi was 
it supposed to be? 

This companion piece of Mr. Swift's 
Victorian Gothic house was nearly 20 
feet high. Struts, old rusted pipes, stacks 
of books, umbrellas and bits of wood 
and gingerbread molding had been 
stuck together to form an appalling, oc- 
tagonal edifice. On the top, the old man 
was completing what looked like a bird's 
nest made of old clothing, straw and 
candy wrappers. Over this, metal hangers 
had been straightened out and intertwined 
to form a dome over which plastic sheets 
were stretched. Yesterday, he'd hauled up 
an incredibly heavy, battered Stromberg- 
Carlson Superheterodyne radio cabinet 
to the aerie. Earlier this morning, he'd 
ascended the peculiar scaffolding 
archaic gramophone strapped to his back. 

The strains of ГЇЇ Take You Home 
Again, Kathleen sung by John McCor- 
mack scratched over the flower fence, 
across the pool and sent Mommababy 
fleeing from the kitchen. She hurried 
into the living room and turned up a 
longplaying record of Sounds to Freak 
Out By. She did a few steps of the new 
Dahomey Dig, the latest dance craze, 
Feeling less up tight than she had all 
morning, she sat on the floor and prac- 
ticed her yoga exercises. 

Frankiebaby rushed through the fence 
the minute his mother ran out of the 
kitchen. He stood in front of his own 
smaller version of the octagonal tower. 
It was not as high zs the hollyhocks, 
therefore not visible unless one were 
actually in Mr. Swift's yard. 

The old man climbed down to greet 
him. "The missing factor is Y." 


“Did you say "why?" asked the child. 

"No, laddiebuck, I said "Y," Mr. 
Swift corrected him. 

Frankiebaby continued to stuff small 
pieces of wool and straw into the small- 
er bird's nest atop the miniature replica 
of Mr. Swift's creation. “What happened 
to X?” 

Mr. Swift picked up an empty box 
labeled снем1со ser. "Old buckaroo, І 
found X in this box. In fact, we're all set 
here, old pal, old kid, 
ghten out these hangers.” Mr. Swift 
tidied up one side of Frankiebaby's 
dome-shaped plastic cover. "Be certain 
that everything is scientifically sound— 
we don't want any trouble with this, my 
last and most ingenious invention.” 

“Is this old thing any good?” The 
child offered a dead mouse to Mr. Swift. 

“Most remarkable! Nothing is wasted. 
Not one thing. Science does not allow 
for a vacuum. Don't ever forget N—the 
nitrogen factor. For what other reason 
have I saved everything? The accumula- 
tion of a lifetime now ready for utiliza- 
tion. You've seen it all kiddo. From 
the first issue of Popular Mechanics 
to the latest, my erector set given to 
me fifty-five years ago by my great-aunt 
Matilda, sixty years of Colliers, not 
one issue missing, and a kitchen full of 
Blue Stamps . . . my house a treasure- 
trove of priceless objects . . . now finally 
assembled and ready. Aha, yes! Utilize, 
that's the U factor.” 

“But I like to know why,” the boy 
persisted. 

The old man scratched his head. 
“Buddyboy, that makes two of us.” 

“My mother’s calling me. I gotta go 
now." Frankicbaby looked up at the old 
man. "When are we going to try . - . 
our... you know.” He put his finger 
to his lips. 

Mr. Swift patted the child's head. 
“Tonight is Z. . . .” Then he whispered, 
“Zero hour.” 

Mommababy had almost reached the 
far end of the pool as her son came 
scrambling through the low shrubs un- 
der the hollyhocks. 

“Frankiebaby, I tol’ you, and I tol 
you. There's something funny going on 
in there! Now you've asked for it. This 
time, I mean business. Go right to your 
room and get into bed. No supper for 
you tonight, Mr. Smartass!” 

"Thats OK by me, if you're making 
that crazy stew again.” 

She smoothed out her miniskirt, “Cool 
it, baby. You go to your room. Do you 
understand what the doctor is saying?’ 

“Oh, man, are you going to blow your 
mind again?” He dodged the blow his 
mother aimed at him and ran into the 
house. 

Mommababy tingled with irritation. 
She must reread the Reverend Flonk's 
little pamphlet titled “Bringing Up Your 
Child in the Space Age." No one knew 

(concluded on page 186) 


at 
saucy hollandaise phil bloom—pursuing her favorite 
sport—set off a shock wave of delight on the continent 


| EA 
TV'S FIRST NUDE 


PHIL BLOOM is a name to reckon with—not 
only because its unlikely owner is a girl 
but because of her favorite pastime: shed- 
ding her clothes in public. Shown on the 
preceding page in her least and most fa- 
miliar guises (dressed and undressed), Phil 
appeared nude last season on Dutch tele- 
vision—a video first. But she's equally fa- 
mous for a photo showing her all in front 
of Het Lieverdje—Amsterdam’s statue of 
an urchin where the Provos (Holland's hip- 
pies) frequently hold Happenings. А part- 
time Provo herself, acires-model Phil staged 
her own Happening at the City Theater 
of Eindhoven when, in the buff, she played 
a few notes on a grand piano. This Dutch 
doll’s ambition is "to spread happiness." 


The naked truth is, she's off to a good start. 


PHOTOGRAPHY By EO VAN OER ELSKEN 


postbus 11. Hilver: 


Left: Holland's Protestant Broad- 
casting Company highlighted a 
televised Happening with this 
unexpected Dutch treat: Phil 
lounging au naturel behind the 
network's call letters and address. 
Right: A believer in "natural 
nakedness,” she relaxes with the 
photographer's children. At his 
studio, Phil tries her hair up, jet- 
tisons the jewelry for a boa and 
finally setiles for a fun fur and 
jeans. Below left: In a friend's 
apartment, she looks at TV from 
the other side of the screen. 


PLAYBOY 


108 


EGGSPU' 


Fold 4 sheets regulars er 
paper in half. Fold in half again. Hold- 
ing open ends to top and left, fold the 


е typew 


st facing sheet diagonally to make а 
ngular pocket in front. Balance of 


tr 


paper behind pocket may be stapled to 
hold pocket in place. Place 4 narrow 
custard cups in a large pot. Place paper 
pockets їп cups, point down. Break ai 

CHE into each pocket. Fill pot to rim 
of custard cups with boiling water. 
Cover pot with tight lid and boil 8 to 10 
minutes or until eggs are firm. Remove 
eggs, still in paper, to refrigerator and 
chill. Cut shrimps crosswise into diago: 
slices about y in. thick. Combine 
shrimps with water chestnuts, olives, 
chives, mayonnaise and lemon juice. 
Toss thoroughly, seasoning to taste with 
salt and pepper. Spoon shrimps onto 4 
coquille shells or onto 4 lettuce cups 
placed on serving plates, Remove eggs 
from paper. Trim edges to make as sym- 
metrical as possible. Place eggs topside 
down on salad. Place a pimiento strip 
lengthwise on top of each egg. Spoon just 
enough madrilene on top to coat eggs 
lightly. Place in refrigerator until madri 

lene is jelled. 


РІРЁКАрЕ WITH HAM 
(Serves four) 
З eggs 
4 round slices ham, м in. 
to 5 ins. in d 
ge fresh beelstea 
2 tablespoons salad oil 
1 large sweet red, green ог 
pepper, small dice 
2 large cloves garlic, very finely minced 
1 teaspoon sugar 
3 tablespoons butter 
Salt, pepper 
8 slices French bread, fried ii 
butter 
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley 
ҮШ or fry ham. Set aside: keep 
warm. Lower tomatoes into boiling wa- 
ter for 20 seconds. Hold tomatoes under 
cold running water and remove skins 
with paring knile. Remove stem ends 
and cut tomatoes into quarters; press 
to remove seeds and juice. Cut tomatoes 
into small dicc. Heat salad oil in heavy 
saucepan, Add tomatoes, diced pepper 
garlic and sugar. Sauté slowly, stirring 
frequently, until juice in pan has evap- 
orated. Add butter. When butter melts, 
remove pan from fire. Beat eggs in mix- 
g bowl Add 14 cup cold water (not 
milk or cream) to eggs. Season with salt 
and pepper. Add a small quantity of 
beaten egg (equivalent to about | egg) 
to the pan containing the tomatocs and 
pepper. Return pan to low flame and 
stir until egg is scrambled. Continue to 
add eggs in this manner, si 


thick, 4 


meter 
tom 


toes 


эт 
yellow 


or 


(continued from page 102) 


standy, ший all are scrambled. Place 
fried bread on platter or serving plates. 
Place ham on bread, spoon eggs on top 
and sprinkle with parsley. 


s I 


RED WE 


POACHED к 
(Serves. two) 


4 eggs 


2% cups dry red wine 

14 cup very finely minced onion 

2 large doves garlic, very finely minced 

1 small bay leaf 

V4 teaspoon dried thyme 

1 packet instant bouillon powder 

3 tablespoons butter at room temper- 
ature 
tablespoons flour 

Salt, pepper 


4 slices French bread, fried in olive 
ог toasted 


about 8 or 9 
wide. onion, garlic, 
caf, thyme and bouillon powder for 
about 5 minutes. Open each egg into a 
saucer (to make sure yolk 
lower eggs one by one into pan. Cover 
pan with tight lid and simmer 8 to 
3Y% minutes, or until eggs are poached. 
Remove eggs from pan with slotted spoon 
or skimmer and keep them warm until 
serving time by placing them in а pan 
or bowl of very hot water (not over 
ne). Strain red-wine mixture and re 
n to saucepan. Mix buuer and flour 
to а smooth paste. Bring wine to a boil, 
add buuerflour mixture and simmer 2 
to 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Season 
with salt and pepper. Drain eggs and 
place on French bread on serving plates. 
If sauce seems too thick to flow easily, 
be thinned with additional wine. 
Pour sauce over eggs. If desired, they m 
be served with grilled ham, bacon or 
small link sausages. (The first time you 
try this dish, there may be a natural de- 
lay between steps; the second or third 
time, the routine will be smooth and 
brief.) 


intact) and 


BREADED EGGS, CURRY SAUCE 
(Serves four) 


8 hard-boiled eggs, shelled 

Salt, pepper 

1 raw egg 

Salad oil 

1 tablespoon lemon juice 

Flour 

Bread crumbs 

3 tablespoons butter 

1 medium-size onion, 

minced 

1 tablespoon curry powder 

11% cups hot milk 

2 tablespoons green Chartreuse 

y teaspoon Tabasco 

Cut hard boiled eggs in half lengthwise. 
Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Beat raw 


very finely 


egg with 1 tablespoon salad oil and lem- 
on juice. Dip hard egg halves in flour, 
coating thoroughly. Dip in raw-epg mix- 
ture, then in bread crumbs. Pat crumbs 
onto eggs to coat thoroughly. Melt but- 
ter in saucepan over very low flame. 
Add onion and curry powder and saut 


until onion is soft Stir in 3 table. 
spoons flour. Slowly add hot milk, 
stirring constantly. Simmer slowly 5 
minutes. Add Chartreuse and Tabasco 


and stir well. Add salt and pepper to 
taste. Keep sauce warm until serving 
time or reheat just before serving. In a 
large skillet, heat %4 in. oil until it 
begins to smoke. Fry breaded eggs 
turning to brown on each side. Pour 
sauce onto serving plates. Place 4 egg 
halves on each plate. Serve with rice 
nd chilled chutney, passed separately 
at table. 


CANADIAN BACON AND EGG QUICHE 
(Serves six). 

in. prepared piecrust, unbaked 

1 hard-boiled egg 

14 db. sliced Canadian bacon 

2 om. cheddar cheese 

1 cup light cream 

2 egg yolks 

1 raw egg 

% teaspoon salt 

4 teaspoon white pepper 


Paprika 
Preheat oven at 400°. Thaw pie 
crust, if frozen. Pierce sides and bot 


tom of crust with fork at l-in. in а 
Bake shell 15 to 20 minutes or until light 
brown. H dough "bubbles" at any spot 
during baking (check it several times) 
pierce the bubble with a fork. Remove 
crust from oven. While dough is bak- 
ing, cut hard-boiled egg into М 
dice. Cut bacon into Win. squares. 
Force cheese through large holes of 
metal grater. Beat cream, egg yolks, 
whole egg, salt and pepper. Strain 
into top of double boiler. Cook ov 
simmering water, stirring frequently, 
especially in corners of pan, until mix- 
ture coats the k of the spoon. 
diced egg, bacon and cheese into 
shell. Pour egg-cream mixture into 
pie shell. Sprinkle with paprika. Bake 
15 io 20 minutes or until top of 
quiche feels firm when lightly touched 
with fingers. Serve warm. If quiche is 
made beforehand, it may be reheated 
slow oven just before serving. Quiche 
may be cut into 12 portions as an hors 
d'oeuvre rather than a supper item. 

There's an ancient and somewhat 
scurtilous gag line to the effect that all 
Romanian recipes begin with "Steal two 
eggs.” We recommend no such dr 
measures. But with eggs as your | 
ingredient and the preceding recipes as 
springboards for your imagination, you'll 
be able to steal the culinary show. 


n 


THE: 
———— 


a thousand bucks and free dentalwork for an easy roll in the hay—it 
should have been a good deal, but seduction really wasn't his racket 


een 


t 


fiction By WILLIAM MELVIN KELLEY in HARLEM, there once lived a 
dentist who didn't love his wife. In fact, he was sure she was insane. Even 
though he'd given her a fantastic wardrobe, a brownstone on the Hill and 
a cottage on Long Island, she still wasn’t satisfied. She wanted one more 
thing—to cruise around the world. And so he asked her for a divorce, 

She refused to give it to him. 

He kept asking; she kept refusing; he began to feel trapped. He 
imagined himself cutting her face up or pouring lye under each eyelid 
while she slept. He imagined ridding himself of her in many ways, but 
realized finally only one way was open: He (continued on page 140) 


| india’s sitar virtuoso recalls 

his arduous apprenticeship and 
appraises the current western 
involvement with castern culture 


ш 
lif 
my ü p... 


By Raui Shankar 


TWO INDIAN ARTIsIs made me 
what I am. These were my older 
brother, Uday, one of the greatest 
is of all things Indian and 
assical dance; 
and Allauddin Khan, called Baba, 
the master mus who became 
my риги. When I was ten, in 1930, I 
joined a troupe of dancers and mu 
sicians that Uday had just formed. 
I was to dance in Paris and then 
around the world—including the 
United States—for the next eight 
years; but my progression to the 
sitar did not begin in earnest until 
I was 15, when Baba joined the 
troupe. 

Our father bad just died and 
re back in India at 
himself decided at 
the last moment not to take his 
son, Ali Akbar, with him on the 
next tour. The day came that we 
were due to sail. My mother was 
going to remain in India and she 
and 1 both had the premonition 
that we might not see cach other 
again. While we stood on the pier 
in Bombay, she took my hand, put 
it in Baba's and told him, "I'm not 
going with you, and I don't know 
if TI ever sce my child aga 
please take him and con 
Ë as your own son." W ars 
in our eyes as we said goodbye. As 


1 


PLAYBOY 


112 thought 


it happened, it was the last time I saw 
my mother. 

Baba stayed with our troupe for near- 
ly a year. During all those months, I 
was his guide, helper and special com- 
panion. I suppose he missed Ali Akbar 
very much, and so he gave me all the 
love and affection that would have gone 
to his son. While we were traveling, 
especially, I used to take care of Baba, 
finding the right restaurants and the 
raz kind of food for him. One day, 

emember, I wanted to do something 
ВН 1 to please him and, recalling that 
he occasionally enjoyed smoking, I went 
out and bought him a pipe, a pouch for 
tobacco and a lighter. When I presented 
the gifts to him. instead of being pleased, 
he flared up in one of his unreasonable, 
furious angers. “I'm not one of those 
gurus you cin buy," he stormed at me. 

But most of the time, he was very 
gentle with me. He knew how interested 
I was in seriously learning instrumental 
„ and I got him to begin teaching 
me the basics of sitar and voice. Some- 
times, he would become upset and grow 
angry when I was learning, because, 
although I was a good student, he felt 
that dance was uppermost in my thoughts. 
lt angered and hurt that 1 should 
be “wasting my musical talent” and living 
in glitter and luxury. Baba insisted that 
this was no way to learn music from him, 
not in these surroundings, and he swore I 
would never go through the discipline re- 
quired to master the technique of the sitar. 
He made some very cruel remarks about 
my constant girl chasing, my dandy’s 
tastes in clothing and all my other inter- 
ests outside music—painting, writing and 
reading. He often said that if you do 
one thing properly and very well, all 
other things will come easily later; but if. 
you start with too much, you will end 
up with nothing. 
In the summer of 1936, we spent a 
few months at Dartington Hall in Dev- 
onshire, England, a beantiful, open place, 
where Uday planned to work on a few 
new billes. I had a great deal of time 
to practice on the sitar and have lessons 
with Baba. This was the first time 1 
played. scales and exercises and not just 
whatever pleasing melodies came into my 
head. All summer I worked on the exer- 
cises and fixed compositions and learned 
many songs. Inside me, I sensed something 
new and very exciting; 1 felt 1 was coming 
close to real music and that this music 
was what I was meant to devote my life 
to. But then in the fall, Baba had to leave 
us a bit earlier than expected and go 
back to India. 

It was a year and a half before I saw 
him in. Throughout that time, 1 
was filled with worries and questions 
and indecision, and there was really no 
опе I could talk to about it, Uday was 
quite convinced that I should keep up 
dancing as my primary interest, but he 
a few months with Baba 


wouldn't do me any harm. At that time, 
Uday was planning to disband the 
troupe and establish a center for the 
performing arts in India. He thought 1 
could get a solid musical background 
with Baba, then come back and assist 
him at the center. 

We finished our last tour and the 
troupe returned to India in May of 
1938. I went immediately to а house 
that had been built for my mother just 
before her death, There I thought of a 
religious event І had neglected for many 
years and decided that was the time to 
go through it. This is the sacred-thread 
ceremony that initiates a young Brah- 
man boy into the religion. Usually, it is 
performed between the ages of 7 and 12. 
Although I had turned 18, 1 wanted 
to have the ceremony performed. In 
the month of June, | had my head 
shaved and prepared for the initiation 
imo Brahmanism, Each initiate must 
spend a few months living like a monk, 
eating special food and abstaining from 
all material things. I spent nearly two 
months living this way, free of worldly 
matters, before I returned to my family. 

When my religious duties were over, 
I prepared to leave for an indefinite stay 
with Baba in the little village of Maihar, 
about a day's journey away. My brother 
Rajendra accompanied me to the village 
day in July. As we traveled, I was 
all in a turmoil inside. I felt as though I 
were committing suicide. I knew that ] 
would be reborn, but had no way of 
knowing how the new life would be. 

When I arrived, Baba was shocked to 
scc me so transformed. My head was 
still shaved and I wore simple clothes of 
very coarse material. I had brought one 
tin suitcase with a few belongings and 
two blankets with a pillow rolled up in. 
side them. 1 had changed myself to the 
opposite extreme from the boy Baba 
had known in Europe, partly because 1 
cerely felt that I had to give up a 
great deal if 1 wanted to devote myself 
to music and partly because I felt this 
new self would please Baba. In a way, 
there was some play acting on my part, 
leaving behind my dandy's habits and liv- 
ng as I thought I should, But I could see 
right away that Baba was pleased with me, 

I stayed in a little house next to Baba’s 
In the beginning, it was very difficult for 
me. Alone at night in my house, I was 
frightened when 1 heard the howling of 
the jackals and wolves nearby and the 
deep croaking of the frogs and all the 
ket of the crickets. After eight years of 
urious living in Europe, it took me 
months to accustom myself to sleeping on 
а cot made of four pieces of bamboo tied 
together with coconut rope. Every morn- 
ing, I remember, a maidservant used to 
come in very early to tidy up, put the 
water on for tea and prepare a little 
breakfast. After I'd been in Maihar for 
time, another student came and 
stayed with me, but Baba beat him on 


some 


the second or third day and he ran 
away. At least 30 boys came to share 
the little house with me, but попе 
of them ever stayed longer than a week 
or ten days, because they could not bear 
Baba's temper and strict discipline. 

I was quite lucky to have already 
spent a year with Baba when he was 
traveling with Uday's troupe. In that 
time, I had gotten to know him quite 
well—all his little weaknesses and the 
peculiarities of his nature. Normally, he 
was the most humble and gentle person 
imaginable, filled with the spirit we call 
Vinaya. But often, when he started 
teaching, he became violent and 
ble and would not tolerate one little slip 


from the student. He even used to beat 
the maharaja who employed him in his 
service! 

But Baba has never once struck me or 
just 


even raised his voice to me. Well, 
one time: When I had first gone to 
and he was tcaching me an exercie, | 
was not able to play it correctly. “На!” 
he exclaimed. "You have no strength in 
those wrists. Da, da, da," he cried, as 
he smacked my hands. I was trying my 
best and felt terrible that he should be 
angry with me. From my childhood, 
one had ever spoken angrily to me, al- 
though I was quite spoiled and some- 
cs behaved badly. So when Baba 
raised his voice to me. I began to get 
angry myself, rather than frightened. 
Со," he taunted me, “go, go and buy 
some bangles to wear on your wrists. 
You are like a weak little girl! You 
have no strength. You can’t even do this 
exercise!” That was enough for me. 1 
got up, went next door, packed my bed- 
ding and belongings, marched off to the 
railroad station and bought a ticket 
home. I had just missed a train and had 
to wait awhile for the next one. 

In the meantime, Ali Akbar came 
running up and, seeing my bags, asked 
what had happened. "I won't s 
told him. "He scolded me today. 

Ali Akbar looked at me incredulously 
and asked if I were mad. "You are the 
only person he has never laid a hand on. 
We're all amazed by it. Why, do you 
know what he's done to me? He's tied 
me to a tree every day for a week and 
beaten me and even refused me food. 
And you run away because he gives you 
a litle scolding.” Ali Akbar persuaded 
me to go back to the house with him 
and 1 temporarily set my bags down 
again in my room. 

By then, he had told his mother wh. 
had happened and she had told Baba. Ali 
Akbar came to tell me they wanted me 
to have lunch with them. and when 1 
went into the house, Ali Akbar's mother 
said to me, "Come. You are leaving 
soon, but just come in and sit with Baba 
for a few minutes.” I wen 
and saw that he was cutting ош а pho- 
tograph of me and putting it into a 

(continued on page 142) 


over to hiin 


“At one time this airline was noted for its friendly stewardesses.” 


113 


DANISH IMPORT 


october playmate majken haugedal makes 
t of her scandinavian beauty by bunnying and modeling in montreal 


TWHILE IMAGE THIS SIDE OF THE border as a land of few surprises—a notion once and for all contradicted 
by ‘the success of its swinging Expo he ol new prime minister—should be put to by Montreal 
Bunny Majken Haugedal, a tr T ty whose current lile epitomizes the international Sixties’ style. 
much le: › amine with her [йу to an exurb of Mon 
s demonstrator 

most popu and 

ys seem about five hours too short,” Mike says, “the two 


Montreal Bunny and model Majken ("Mike") Hougedol storts her 
day with o midmorning visit, below, to her parents’ nearby apart- 
ment for on hour of play with her five-year-old brother, Lars. “First, 
Lars had to try out his new toy stethoscope; we wound up having a 
“ she recalls. “It was all sup- 


good old-fashioned rib-tickling session,’ 
posed to be a plot to get him in a good mood for a haircut, but he 
still had enough spunk ta put up a struggle at the door of the shop.” 


3 
| 
| 


careers have been wonderfully compatible. The sort of 
outgoing personality you have to develop to be a really 
good Bunny has helped me project myself in ads, too.” 
Montreal lensmen have been concentrating on Mike's 
face, which in at least one case has proved almost too 
picture perfect to be true: “The art director for Avon 
here,” Mike recalls, “sent my agent a photo of a green 


115 


"Once he got in the chair ond had a few reassuring wards 
from the barber, Lars was more like the goad-natured kid he 
usually is,” Mike continues. “So after the haircut, | rewarded 
him—and myself—with a French pastry from a little grocery store 
around the corner.” After dropping Lors off at home, Mike 
calls on her madeling agent, Canstance Brown, to display some 
additions to her partfolio and ta consider possible assignments. 


eyed, blonde, sweet-and-innocent type, saying that 
she had the look he wanted. It was uncanny how 
much she looked like me; my agent said it was the 
easiest request she ever filled.” As the modeling jobs 
have become more frequent, Miss October has cut 
back to just two or three nights of Bunnying a week. 

I'd be too tired to be my best self at the Club if 1 


HOTOCRAD 


POSAR 


Another of Miss October's typical stops—even on a day without any assignments—is at the sclon of Montreal becuty consultant Corrado Di 
Genova. "I think the best thing about my current life,” says Mike, in o voice engagingly accented with both her native Donish and Montreal's 
second language, French, “is the incredible variety of roles I’m csked to play. As a Bunny, I’m pretty much myself—c girl everyone but my very 
closest friends considers a real kook—but cs a model, | have to be everything from the sweetest teenager to a sultry sexpot. It’s a lot of fun 
as long as you keep й in perspective." After Corrado rearranges Mike's own hair, she tries on three new wigs: "Like most models, I’m a natural 
ham at heart; give me a wig and | just have to mug. That hamminess makes me wonder if | could moke it in films—but | don't want to jinx it by 
talking about ii!” During the afternoon, still another appointment finds Mike dashing through Montreal's skyscraper-crowded downtown. 


worked more than that,” Mike says. “Tt’s not so much the photo sessions themselves that make modeling so hectic, 
but all the preparations, like test shots and hair appointments.” Headquarters for Mike's two careers—and for her 
dinner-and-dancing social life—is a slice-of-pie apartment in a cylindrical Montreal high-rise. When not plying guests 
there with a favorite fondue or smørrebrød, she's apt to be found on off- evenings at the ballet in Montreal's gleam- 
ing new Place des Arts or dancing herself i in an out-of-the-way discothèque. “I think it’s part of the city's Frenchness," 
says Mike, “that our discos are tii and much more intimate than those i in New York or Chicago. Even on a night 
when you know no one but your date, it seems like a private party.” Miss October plans to satisfy her admitted 


The first home-grown Bunny to earn a place in the gallery of color transparencies 
adorning the wall behind the Montreal Club's Playmate Bar, Mike—who started os a 
Gift Shop and Daor Bunny—now works most often in the Club's Living Room (below). 
Dressing for work one evening following a few days aff, she discovers tangible evi- 
dence thet she's no Twiggy when the Club's wardrobe mistress tries ta help her into 
one of her older costumes. ("Too many of those French pastries, | guess!” Mike lo- 
ments) But then she tries on a new psychedelic costume thet fits her, obviously, just fine. 


penchant for things Parisian witha leisurely European trip this winter. 
She'll start with a visit to relatives in Denmark, fly south—"probably 
to Greece"— for a rest and then alight in the City of Light, where she 
hopes to keep in posing practice. “I've never seriously considered 
uying my luck in New York, where the girls are all тайча,” says our 
5'5" Miss October, “but I think there's a chance I'll have good luck in 
Paris." Chances are it's the Parisians who'll consider themselves lucky. 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


You certainly have to hand it to the American 
woman, which is why so many guys prefer 
European girls 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines motel as a 
love inn. 


Gimme a double whiskey!” the little boy yelled 
to the barmaid as he entered the saloon. 

“Do you want to get me in trouble?” she 
asked. 


The lad replied: "Maybe later; but right 


now, I just want a drink.” 


Then there was the lady barrister іп London 
who dropped her briefs апа became a solicitor. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines virgin 
bride as a right-ring extremist. 


Have faith and ye shall be healed!" intoned 
the evangelist at the revival meeting. A wom- 
an on crutches and a man came forward. The 
evangelist asked, "What is your name, my 
good woman?" 

“I'm Mrs. Smith," she answered, "and 1 
haven't been able to walk without crutches 
for twenty years.” 

“Well, Mrs. Smith,” he said, 
that screen and pray. 

Tuming to the mai 
what is your name?’ 
"My name ith Thamualth,” he answered, 
nd I have alwayth thpoken with a lithp.” 

АШ right, Mr. Samuals" the evangelist 
„ "go behind that screen with Mrs. Smith 
pray." After several minutes had passed, 
the revivalist announced: “I think the time has 
come. Witness these miracles. Mrs. Smith, 
throw your left crutch over the screen.” The 
audience gasped as it sailed over. "Mrs. S 
throw your right crutch over the screen. 
crowd cheered as the second crutch appeared. 

Encouraged, the evangelist commanded: “Mr. 
Samuals, say something in a loud, clear voice, 
so we can all hear yo 

Samuals answered: “ 
fell on her ath!" 


"go behind 


he asked, "Now, sir, 


thuth Thmith jutht 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines bigamist as 
a man who has loved not wisely but two well. 


You should be ashamed of yourself,” the re- 
proachful mother told her daughter. "All your 
girlfriends are divorced already and you're not 
even married.” 


The sweet young thing and her handsome es- 
cort for the evening became embroiled in a 
heated discussion on the subject of rape. The 
young man contended that any normal male 
could win a girl's favors by assault, whether 
she was willing or not, The young lady was 
equally certain that no woman could be won 


*without her consent. 


То setle the argument, they decided to 
conduct an experiment. They began to wrestle 
and, though the girl fought valiantly for her 
cause, the young man eventually proved his 
point. 

Although conquered, the girl was undaunted. 
“You didn't win fairly," she exclaimed. “I lost 
my footing on the carpet. Let’s try again.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines puritan as 
а man who noes what he likes. 


Im in love with my horse,” the nervous young 
man told his psychiatrist. 

“Nothing to worry about,” the psychiatrist 
consoled. “Many people are fond of animals. As 
a matter of fact, my wife and I have a dog 
we're very attached to.” 

“But, doctor, continued the troubled pa- 
tient, “I feel physically attracted to my horse.” 

"Hmmm," observed the doctor. “Is it male 
or female?” 

“Female, of course!” the man replied curtly. 
“What do you think I am, queer?” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines immaturity 
as knowing where it’s at—but not what it's for. 


Have you heard about the girl who was so 
ugly that Peeping Toms would reach in and 
pull down her shades? 


Xo єз weet tty, аме letal ecd cape P 
the chick who lost her bra in your car. 


А hippie news dealer was questioned by one of 
New York's finest for peddling dirty pictures. 


"But you're mistaken,” said the hippie. “These 
pictures aren’t dirty. 
Selecting one, the policeman sai you 


mean to tell me this isn't a dirty picture?” 

The hippie shrugged. “Don’t be square, 
officer. Haven't you ever seen five people in 
love?" 


Heard a good one lately? Send it on a post- 
card to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, Playboy 
Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
Ill, 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


^ 
a 


“I feel that our fundamental democratic institutions 
and faith are on trial in the world today. T hat's why I'm 
here vesting up for the supreme test." 


123 


TOGETHER? 


after all the long years, each was still haunted by the memory of that one traumatic night 


fiction By KEN W PURDY 


THE 
plane; Wengell caught his elbow, held 
him up. 
Thanks,” he said. “Damned bifocals.” 
Wengell said don't mention it or 
something of the sort, Afterward it came 


MAN srUMPLED boarding the air 


to him that he knew the man, the idea 
seeping, drifting into his mind, tantaliz- 
ingly, in the way many memories, many 
ideas had begun to do in the past few 
years. When the stewardess had finished 


the oxygen-mask demonstration, Wen 


gell leaned into the aisle and caught her 


She came to him, a child of 

so, flat-bellicd, 

No, she was terribly sorry, there was 
no passenger list aboard 

The man in B2,” Wengell said 

"m next to positive he's an old friend, 

someone J haven't seen in years. Bur I 

need to be sure, before I speak to him. 


? or 
tanncd, cool. 


Would you just check his ticket? If I'm. 
right, the name will be Samuel Cole. 
owre right" she said. “W 
Mr. 5. T. Cole. Cambridge, Mas 
He smiled his thanks. When she came 
back with the drink wagon, he asked for 
bourbon and water. He took half the 
drink in two slow swallows, placed the 
glass carefully in the middle of the tray, 


know 
him. 


мей a cigarette. He waited in con- 
tented patience for the 


down, the balancing. H 


the slow- 
looked at the 
tall glass, the whiskey. dark-brown here, 
tea-tan there against the ice lumps, the 
surface shimmering in microwaves un 
der the infinitesimal vibrations of the 
engines. The window scat beside him was 
empty. An ocean of cloud, snow-bright 


сазе, 


in the sun, and, a long way off, a con- 


trail quartering their course. 


Short Fatter, but 
when he'd са his elbow, 
t his for and beefy 
still. Sam Cole. He has as much to do 
with my being alive today. Wengell 
thought, as my mother. Ah, an exa; 
ation, but not by much. There was a 


Sam Cole. sull 


WOOD FIGURES BY RICHARD E. EEHNER 


PLAYBOY 


story in his family, going to Billy Wen- 
gell's curiosity, so marked, his mother 
had always said, even. when he was six 
months, а story that he'd leaned from a 
window of the apartment on Belmont 
Sweet, ten floors up, to sce his father 
park the car, leaned to wave, standing 
on the window seat, his mother had 
caught him by an ankle—"a pitcher of 
martinis in the other hand,” she always 
finished, “and I never spilled a drop.” 
Sam Cole had done that much. No, he'd 
done more. 

Wengell took another drink. The ic- 
cold of the glass delighted his finger tips, 
as the stuff it held was delighting his 
mind and his body. Watching a film, 
a Western, some unremembered hit, 
the scene, regular in the folk dra 
as the shoot-out, two cowpunchers in off 
the trail, six weeks from the last drink, 
grabbing the bottle of white mule, up 
ended, shuddering, gasping, eye-popping, 
what does it taste like? the other one 
said and his buddy, Damned if J know, 
and in the row behind someone saying, 
ГЇ never understand why a man would 
drink something that does that to I 
No, Wengell thought, you never will, a 
good thing or a bad, damned if J know. 

Sam Cole. Staring at the seat back 
ahcad of him, Wengell saw thc frozen. 
lake again, the narrow sheet of blue wa 
ter 30 feet from shore, the little brown 
dog. It was a Satu morning, very 
cold, bright sun. crystal Minnesota air. 
Behind him, up the long slope, the 
house, red brick and white wood trim, a 
big house, fat and solid on the ground, 
seven chimneys sprouting off the roof. It 
had been built 40-odd years before, 
around 1900, built for what it was, a 
fraternity housc, dormitory on top, 15 
bedrooms, complete to the chapter room 
opening secretly behind the canned- 
goods shelves in the basement. "The dog, 
puppy. the cook's dog, Mrs. Melvin's, had 
followed Wengell down the lawn, shak- 
ing its paws in the snow, and it was 
nosing now along the pebbled shore. 
Ears up, sniffing, it padded onto the ice, 
skidded, sat down, levered itself up 
again. Wengell smiled. He made a little 
snowball, bowled it down the hill. It 
rolled three or four feet onto thi 
puppy ran for it, skidded again. Wen- 
gell rolled another, bigger; and perhaps 
because it was bigger, it ran the whole 
way, all the way to the open water. 
Four or five feet away, the puppy saw 
the water, braced his legs, locked every- 
thing up and slid, slowly, most comical- 
ly, into it. He came up immediately, 
turned himself, hooked his front feet 
over the ice. No good. He wasn't strong 
enough, the water weighed him do 
whatever, clearly he could never make 

. He was for drowning. Run back to 


12g the hous? Rope? Ladder? The dog 


wouldn't last that long. Yell? Who'd 
hear, through double windows and over 
the radio, volume knob up against the 
stop as always? Wengell edged out on 
the ice. Halfway, it popped, a sharp 
snapping sound. He stood rock still, 
holding a big breath, but it held. He 
went flat and crawled to the puppy, 
crawled halfway back, shoving the shiv- 
ering, skinny-looking thing ahead of 

ed it up, wrapped it 


room. 

It was a party night, that Saturday. 
Late in the afternoon, in the big living 
room, a couple of freshmen rolling two 
gallon jugs of gin and vermouth back 
and forth from one couch to the other, 
Tradition, running back to the years be 
fore Roosevelt killed Prohibition—1932? 
— when the jugs held straight A, distilled 
water, juniper essence, Four-foot logs in 
the fireplace. A cribbage game, louder 
than usual, in the cardroom, Petey Jen- 
sen, half-stoned already, winning as usu- 
al, easily, negligently, never counting 
the holes as he pegged, just dropping it 
in, no one ever challenged him any- 
more, or counted after him, Bing Crosby 
on the box, where the blue of the night 
meets the gold of the serene and 
liquid over the frying-pan crackle of the 
record, probably 500 plays behind it. At 
the window—it must have been 20 feet 
long, that window, Wengell thought— 
Tony Braccio, blue-black and square- 
looking, silhouetted against the orange 
sunset glowing on the lake, dusk sifting 
down like blue sand to snuff it out. 
Braccio was not, Wengell knew, watch- 
ing the sunset. He was thinking tha 
a couple of hours he'd have to go to a 
sorority house, pick up a blind date, 
bring her here and, у. 
push her around the floor, dancing like 
a bear, the lumps of muscle оп his back 
tensed stone hard under her hand. Well, 
it had been like that, Wengell remem- 
bered, a whiff of roast beef from the 
basement kitchen, somebody bragging 
how much date dope—vanilla ice cream 
and gin beat up on a malted mixer—he 
g to pour into his girl, and then 
ing, 19 times in 20, in those 


n cold sobi 


days. 

The party, when it came on the 
screen of his mind, was vague and edge- 
less for Wengell. Black tie, pastel, shi 
ing, silky evening gowns, beautiful girls, 
they really would be beautiful or at any 
rate terribly good-looking, maybe two 
semipigs in the whole crowd, blinds, or 
somebody's sister. Kappas, most of the 
rest. or Gamma Phis. If you were a 
sophomore, as Wengell was then, and 
you brought a girl from outside the cir- 
cle, from one of the dormitories, God for- 
bid, or even from a fringe sorority like 
Sig Delt, an upperclassman, or maybe a 


couple of them, would have a little chat 
with you next day. Nothing would be 
said directly, you'd just be offered help. 
‘There'd be someone for you to meet, that 
sort of thing. 

At the window end of the room, 
grouped around the big Bechstein, a 
five-piece band, skinny-looking jokers, 
working their way through school on the 
sax or whatever, 
somewhere. A chaperone couple, usually 
old Something Thompson, a professional 
alumnus, the kind who knew all the 
words to all the verses of all the songs, 
red-faced and happy, and his wife, 
worrying behind him, smiling, when he 
hit the punch bowl. Noise. Seventeen 
kinds of tremendous noise, it seemed to 
Wengell. Everybody smashed. That was 
the lea. You took a run at the 
evening like someone going for the 
broad jump, the whole point and pu 
pose was to get smashed and have it to 
brag about in the morning. Maybe three 
wouldn't: Braccio, who lived for his 
muscles, Pete Elsworth, who genuinely 
hated the stuff, and Mike Down, ulcer. 

Wengell’s date bored him and he 
bored her. She had been set up for him, 
as in a brokered marriage. She was a 
Gamma Phi, like him a sophomore, and 
she was his date because she'd been told 
to be. Two times was the deal, maybe 
three, and then she'd be free to turn 
him down and say yes to somebody who 
rated her: white-blonde, violet eyes, a 
great shape—well, a little flat, but that 
was before big ones counted so much. 
The thing to do was dance a lot and, if 
you had to talk, get into a group and 
shout at each other, and drop a few 
martinis or whatever was going. It 
wasn't that Wengell didn't have a girl of 
his own, he did; and not only that, he 
was laying her, which was more, he 
knew well, than most of these aces were 
doing with theirs; but she was a barb— 
barbarian—and she lived in a dorm, so 
she might as well have been a Zulu 
a chicken bone in her nose. For lower- 
classmen, a formal party was a must: 
You could be in the infirmary or you 
could be at the party. And he had 
brought her to the fall formal, and next 
day he'd had the word. Still. . . - 

Sam Cole had been a junior that year. 
Wengell didn't know much about him, 
He laughed a lot, he kept himself in 
shape, he drank only on parties, an odd 
beer other times. He got good grades, 
stylish, say Bs and —Bs. A practical, solid 
man. Plainly, much money; for one 
thing, he drove a Chrysler roadster. He 
seemed to be kind, and not abrasively 
(| condescendingly, as was the form 
with some upperclassmen. Wengell had 
thought, as a freshman, that he owed 
Sam Cole a great deal, owed him his 
membership in the fraternity. At the 

(continued on page 148) 


travel By LEN DEIGHTON 


playboys guide to the 
capital of the october 


olympiad and the 


surrounding sybaritic 
resorts that beckon 


south of the no grande 


MEXICO crry is a world apart, a world 
unto itself. Never mind that the map 
locates it on the North American conti 
nent; the rules that govern the progres 
sion of daily urban life elsewhere simply 
do not apply to this huge and exuberant 
metropolis. Other cities lend themselves 
to generalities—they are sophisticated, 
brash, aloof or warm; but the capital 
of Mexico refuses to take a label, for 
it is all these and more. Like its elec- 
tric power supply, which ebbs and flows 
» an irregularity that suggests a de- 
mented gnome is manning the master 
switch, Mexico City swoops from peak to 
abyss, playful one moment, sullen the 
next, often outrageous but always en- 
gaging. It is seldom the same city two 
days in a row, its mood being one of 
kaleidoscopic, even manic unpredictabil- 
ity, not to be trusted for any consistency 
save that of a sort of pulsating delirium, 
which gives the impression that somehow 
everything has gotten delightfully or 
dreadfully out of control—a notion re- 
inforced by the knowledge that year by 
ar, inch by inch, the city itself sinks 
Jower and lower into the lake basin on 
which it was founded centuries ago. 
It is a storehouse of extremes; and as 


The Teotihvocón pyramids, neor the copital, 
recall Mexico's post; Mexico City's Osteria Ro- 
mana café evokes the nation's stylish present. 


127 


Mexico City's innovative architecture hos long made it an olluring metropolis; above, the copper-domed Olympic Sports Palace. Below left, 
ofter visiting the Pyramid of the Sun, two turistos rest nearby in an excavated amphitheater. Just outside the capital, the Cortijo La Morena 
restaurant features a miniature bull ring, where patrons receive instruction in the taurine art before facing a cape-able baby bull 


a market place in which to browse, buy or just ogle, it is beyond comparison 
with any American ci ps. New York. Added to these permanent 
enticements and distractions is а month. Mexico City is host 
to the Olympic games. No amount of foreknowledge can adequately prepare 
the visitor for what he will find, for he will find much that wasn’t there yester- 
day and won't be there tomorrow. A restaurant that might be excellent at 
lunchtime becomes lethal for dinner. A hotel that provides an hour's dry 
cleaning service on Monday will take a pair of socks on Tuesday and return 
them a week later with the toes still damp. There are scheduled events that 
do not take place, unscheduled ones that do. It is a form of nonfatal Russian 
played on a s at defies understanding or logic. Mexico 
México, D.F., for Federal Distric, like your ow 
t can never borc. 


and Puerto Vallarta—can all be reached by direct jet service from the United 
States. (To enter the country. American citizens need only a tourist card, which 
will be issued when you present proof of citizenship—birth certificate, 

port or voter-registration card. All the major airlines flying to Me: 

American, Braniff, Eastern, Air France, Pan-Am, Aeronaves—as well as local 
Mexican tourist offices, issue tourist cards good for a 180-day stay.) This 
region represents only a small part of the country; but, like every other 
corner of Mexico, it is an area prolific in sights and experiences, from the 
futuristic skyscrapers whose shadows fall across (text continued on page 132) 


Action-oriented Acapulca likes its sports wet and wild: Para-sailing across Acapulco Bay 
is the resort town’s latest turn-on. At Teddy Staufier's exclusive Villa Vera Racquet Club, 
below, Mexican singer Joy Ribera moves while TY's Tommy Smothers grooves on guitar. 


MEXICO CITY 


ACAPULCO 


CUERNAVACA 


GUADALAJARA 


PUERTO VALLARTA, 


TAXCO 


Playboy's Capsule Guide to a Wexican q(elidag 


WHERE TO STAY 


Alameda: efficient and 
bustling; rooftop росі. 
Ask for suite 
overlooking park 
‘opened 
July. Mexico's biggest— 
720 rooms, five pools, 
several bars, restaurants, 
tennis, riding stables. 
De Cortes: converted 
18th Century convent in 
the heart of town. 
El Presidente: fast, 
attentive service; 
centrally situated. Try 
to reserve a corner suite 
with balcony, 
Maria Isabel: poshest 
glass skyscraper in town: 
Central location for smart 
shops and night life 
Tecali: 26 duplex 
suites, each with bar, 
dressing room, two 
baths; handsomely 
appointed, masterfully 
managed. 


Acapulco Towers: 21 
exclusive and expensive 
apartment hotel suites. 
Hollywood jet set likes 
the away.from-the-beach 
location. Garden, 
hammocks, pool 
EI Presidente: balcony 
suites overlooking the 
bay are best. Private 
pool; top service 
wo big 
salt-water pools, plus 200 
minipools for its 250 
5. Spectacular 
Views of the bay, attrac: 
tive accommodations, 
illa Vera Racquet Ciub: 


WHERE TO DINE 


Ambassadeurs: fine 
French food, regal 
ambiance; a favorite 
with Seasoned visitors. 
Circulo del Sureste: 
exotic Yucatecan 
cuisine in unpretentious 
Surroundings; the | 


succulent. 
La Cava: mainly French, 
‘good and 


Meson el Caballo Bayo: 

Gud | 

town to magnifico 

‘Mexican fare. 

Muralto: international 
dishes on 41st floor of 

erican Tower. 
pero Andai: music 


Park. International 
menu, dancing. 


Akv-Tiki: Polynesian 
and Oriental cuisine, 
SES se 

cat be " 
specialties; Acapulco's 
most attractive. 
restaurant. 
Chez Guillaume: French 
dining ico. 
Elegant newcomer, | 
Dino's: Acapulco’s | 
opulent ossis for Italian 

Opposite La 

Condesa Beach. 
Picalagua: muy informal | 
‘spot for seafood. 
Rivoli: open-air dining 
with a French accent. 


small, select and quietly 
lavish. It swings. | | 
‘Casa de Piedra: reserve | Casa de Piedra: chicken 
gre of the luxurious | mele! Ся | 
duplex cottages. litas: Mexican 
Casino de la Seh оп а lawn 


Сиегпауаса'з resort 
minicity; shops, three 
pools, tennis courts. 
Posada Jacarandas: its | 
treehouse, Nido de | 
Amor, makes for а | 


memorable love-in. 


Camino Real: a motel 
with the mostest 
gardens, tennis, two 
pools, night club, etc. 
Fenix: Spanish decor; 
rooftop suites are 
superb. 

Guadalajara Hilton: 
extremely comfortable, 
if a bit impersonal. 
Roma: friendly and 
informal, centrally 
situated. 


Dceano: bright and 
cheery gathering place | 
for dining and cocktails. | 
Playa de la Gloria: 
beach-front bungalows 
with kitchenettes; pool, 
tennis court. 

Posada Vallarta: 
ultremedern suites and 
cottages; fine seashore 
location. 


Hotel de la Borda: town's 
biggest; terraced rooms 
have great views of city. 
Posada de la Mision: 
huge suites; O'Gorman's 
stone mural makes the 
pool one of the city's 
must-see sights. 

Rancho Taxco-Victoria: 
adjoining "hotels with 
top-rated facilities, 
cliffside gardens. 


айта with peacocks, | 
parrots and flamingos. 
Posada Arcadi 
‘Sunday buffets are 
Spicurean extravaganzas. 
fertazas Majestic: | 
would you believe | 
Japanese specialties? 


Tampicostyle sieak—in 
particular. 
Focolare: plushest. 
Continental dining in 
town. Superior service. 
MR E 

led: seafood from. 

'azatiói 


Mi n flown in dally. 
Parador Germano: 
a ttti 


classical guitar mu: 


La Iguana: Chinese 
food, dancing to 
Yucatán ensemble. 


Mexican speci 
mariachi band. 
Los Cuatros Vientos: 
Continental dining 
‘overlooking the ocean. 


| La Cumbre Sofiada: | 


morthern-European. | 
specialties; you'll be the | 
only gringo present. 

‘Santa Prisca: American- | 
‘owned, mostly American | 
focd—a pleasant | 
change of pace. 


1 


WHERE TO PLAY 


Belvedere and Maya Bar, 
Continental Hilton: two 
orchestras. city- 
views from Bel re; 
Maya Bar number-one 
cocktail stop-off. 
Сап-Сап: boisterous 
revue, Gay 90s style, 
tots of high kicking 

and garters. 
‘Champagne A Go-Go: 
rock groups lay on ап 
electronic avalanche in a 
blacklight environment. 
El Camichin and 

La Diligencio, Alameda: 
featuring, respectively, 
рор groups and 
exuberant mariachis. 

EI Señorial: three rooms. 
of best dance music in 
town, from hard-driving 
rock to Latin. 

Las Musas: small 
coffeehouse, university 
students, Music ranges 
from Peruvian folk songs 
to American jazz, 
according to who's in 
town. Informal. 


ku-Tiki: Spectacular. 
ht show, go-go girls, 
nudie flicks. 
Armando's Le Club: 


| beautiful disco for the 


beautiful people. 
Dali Bar: paintings. 
muris by 


Where the girls are. 


Palacio Tropical: 
nightclub revue 
features unique “ 
pole” dancers. 
Tiberio's: offers . 
Acapulco's best live 
rock music for disco 
dancing. 


Papa's Mustache: 
Cuernavaca's action- 
central; disco during the 
week, rock groups 

on weekends. 


Belvedere and Rondalla 
Rooms, Guadalajara 
Hilton: cabaret and 
dancing. 

Mariachis Plaza: for a 
late nightcap and brassy 
Serenade. 


La Isla: Polynesian, 
mood; music and cabaret. 
Margaritas Disco: the 
only опе in town; no 
Arthur, but packed solid 
every night in season. 
Piano Bar Colonial: noisy 
and cheerful, good 
company. 


Berto's, Paco's: alfresco 
headquarters for 
cocktails and mariachi 
music; an the Plaza, 
Cantaranas: music tor 
relaxed dancing, 
intimate atmosphere. 
Rancho Taxco-Victoria, 
Hotel de la Borda: the 
best hotel entertainment. 
(Mexican style) in 

town, 


WHAT TO BUY 


Nearly everything, 
especially silver, feather, 
menswear, liquor, 
watches, jewelry and 
handerafts. Established 
stores charge set prices, 
but bargaining is. 
recommended elsewhere 
and in markets; beware 
‘of guides who offer to 
get you anything you're 
interested in at a lower 
rate— they're usually 
Working en commission 


Resoriwear for her at 
Emi Fors, Lila Bath and 
Vicki's; for you at 
Royer and Jaime's; silver 
at Antonio Pineda; 
jewelry at Los Castillo. 
Traditional hanócrafts 
are generally overpriced 
in Acapulco--buy them 
elsewhere 


Lacquerwork, serapes 
and rebozos (knitted 
scarves) at Tianguis: 
straw crafts and pottery 
at Trini-Artes Populares 
and Artesanias Casino 
de la Selva. 


Huaraches (distinctly 
Mexican sancals) at 
Huaraches Gualo; 
leather goods, pottery 
and handcrafts at Casa 
de las Artesanias de 
Jalisco; just about any- 
thing you can think of at 
the enormous 

Mercado Libertad. 


Paintings by focal 
artists at reasonable 
prices—at La Fuente, 
Galeria Pepe. Felipe 
Sanchez Gallery. 


Siiver—at William 
Spratling (ten miles out. 
Side of town), Antonio 
Pineda, Los Castillos, 
Emma, Sigi, Casa Borda 
Margot de Taxco, Hector 
Aguilar and Uxmal, to 
name just a few. 


Mexico—beyond os well as within its most sophisticated cities—is olive with alfresco adventure. Just minutes away by automobile from 


Acapulco’s urbane pleasures, the beach browser will discover miles of unspoiled Pacific Ocean shore line. In Mexico City, below left, amorous 


PLAYBOY 


the crumbling pyramids of dead cultures 
to the ghost towns left from the silver 
booms of more recent days. It is an area 
that provides comparatively casy access, 
and sharp contrast to scenes, scenery, 
people and modes of living. The traveler 
passes from arid plains to dense jungles, 
from snow-capped volcanoes to blinding- 
white beaches, along mountain highways 
that are rarely free from clouds and be- 
side broad lakes in which men fish with 
nets like the wings of monstrous dragon-. 
flics. 

"There are small towns where the only 
form of transport is the horse, and South 
Pacific-style villages from which тез 
sages are pounded on drums made from 
hollow trees. There are markets that 
need a week of exploration—and there 
is Acapulco, which for variety of vacation 
activity, excitement, climate, beauty and 
luxury has few rivals anywhere in the 
world. Acapulco is like no other resort, 
certainly not like Puerto Vallarta, which 
was, until the filming of The Night of 
the Iguana, an isolated fishing village. It 
has since been incorporated as a city, a 
premature promotion, since Vallarta, as 
the locals call it, is still little more than 
a rudely awakened hamlet, and not a 
particularly tidy one. There are no mas- 
sive hotels there; there are only four 
telephones in town and the one dis- 
cothéque has a sound system that might 
have been cobbled up from a small 
transistor radio—but Vallarta grows fast. 
By contrast, Acapuko is а boomtown; 
and if it is sometimes known by the 
cynics as Sodom and Gomorrah, it is not 
an entirely perverted paradise. The coast 
road from Acapulco winds northward 
and southward over a suicidal and spec- 
tacular route that no practical engineer 
would tolerate. At the highest point on 
this road, people sometimes stop their 
cars to look our across Acapulco Bay, 
preferably on a fine evening. when the 
dying sun casts a blanket of red and pur- 
ple across the sky and voluminous clouds 
hang low on the Pacific, a pale gray 
tinged with blood. This is the most 
silent time of day. The sea lies still and 
dark; a white cruise liner with yellow 
lights from stem to stern slips into the 
evening haze. Tiny figures can be seen 
under the edge of the afterdeck's cano- 
py and there is a faint tinkle of music 
from the ship's orchestra. 

At night, a line of lights marks the 
wide main boulevard, and about half- 
way along this, the hotels begin. Their 
architectural flavor is Miami Beach, but 
they are spaced much farther apart, so 
that great patches of darkness lie be- 
tween each vertical slab of brilliant 
light. About a mile or so beyond is the 
town proper—turbulent, vigorous and 
seething with a life that many rubber- 
neck tourists would neither comprehend. 
nor wish to experience. Not many stran- 


132 gers wander unescorted away from the 


town's main streets; and at night, the 
toads that lead up into the hills are de- 
serted, except for the taxis that carry 
parties of men from their hotels to the 
big brothels, Beyond the town is the rest 
of the state in which Acapulco lies, Guer- 
rero. It is still fittingly described as the 
last real frontier of the wild West. 

“He who tells the truth doesn't sin, 
but he causes inconvenience,” declares 
an old Mexican proverb. Truth, along 
with time, geography and urgency, are 
all concepts that must be abandoned or 
at least drastically re-evaluated when 
traveling in Mexico. 

1 told a hotel clerk in Mexico City 
that I wanted a direct, nonstop flight to 
New York, the first available. He picked 
up the telephone and dialed a number. 
I have a very important friend at Aero- 
naves, señor; he will take care of every- 
thing: don't worry.” There was а 
lengthy burst of Spanish; the clerk 
wrote the name of his important friend 
on a piece of paper and banged down 
the phone. “You are very lucky, senor. 
Everything was booked, but my friend 
fix for you, Three o'clock this afternoon, 
nonstop to New York." 

Arriving at the airport, I found that 
the important friend was a baggage 
handler who had never heard of the ho- 
tel clerk and that no such flight existed. 
It is this sort of trivial fantasia that 
lends an air of nightmarish farce to 
Mexican travel, a sense that one is being 
drawn into a play written by Kafka and 
Graham Greene and performed by the 
Marx Brothers and innocent bystanders. 
The adventurous traveler in Mexico—by 
which I mean the visitor who prefers to 
delve below the surface of what he sees, 
rather than skim along from one luxury 
hotel to another, cocooned in taxis, 
nourished by familiar comforts and insu- 
lated from the everyday life that goes 
on about him—will be alternately hor- 
rified and enchanted by the encounters 
that are the inevitable surprise and re- 
ward of traveling around Mexico. He 
will be bewildered by the people— 
broody and silently hostile one moment, 
overflowing with warmth and hospitality 
the next, with only the subtlest signals 
to indicate which mood may be immi 
nent at a given time. 

Mexico is an unusually violent coun- 
try, as a quick scan of its tabloid press 
will confirm. In his excellent personal 
narrative, One Man's Mexico, John Lin 
coln tells of a man who shot a friend in 
a bar. Both men were sober. After the 
murderer had pulled the trigger, he fell 
sobbing across the body. Asked why he 
had done it, he said it was because of 
the expression on his friend's face. 

At this point, the ordinary traveler, 
the man whose sense of adventure is 
tempered by prudence and a strong in- 
stinct for survival, might wonder wheth- 
er he should go. Yes. Foreigners rarely 


get mixed up in violent crimes in Mexi 
со, unless they are very careless or they 
go out of their way to look for trouble. 
A tourist has the formidable protection 
of the Mexican government: with it, the 
law-abiding foreigner is virtually an un- 
touchable. 

But why visit Mexico? For a hundred 
reasons, any one of which would justify 
the effort. То see the old churches that 
squat in the corners of broad, sun-baked 
plazas; for the wildly exotic landscapes, 
the shapes, sights and sounds of the jun- 
gle. the raucous shriek of parrots that 
swoop through the shadows and the 
heavy plop of an alligator as it drops 
from the riverbank; for the markets, 
ablaze with florid colors and filled with 
new smells for stalls and blankets 
heaped with strange foods and unfamil- 
iar fruit; for pottery in a thousand 
styles, crude, simple and miraculous in 
conception; for walls adorned with sad- 
dies and spurs, and cases of silver and 
gold, hammered and carved into the 
most delicate jewelry; for the sight of a 
somnolent colonial town, lying between 
a cleft in bare mountains and ap- 
proached during the early evening, 
when an oncoming storm casts a filigree 
of lightning across the darkening sky; 
and for the fiestas that abound through- 
out the year, transforming torpor into 
turmoil. To gape at the soaring archi- 
tecture of the new, modern capital and 
to sit at one of its bustling open-air café 
ig a traffic cop throw a spectacular 
tantrum in the middle of the street. To 
marvel at the epic murals and the treas- 
ures of the museums and art galleries, to 
bargain for an antique that may or may 
not be worthless, and to bask in the 
steady warmth and intoxicating luxury 
of the beach resorts, watching the talent 
that came in on the morning plane. 

Sport and gambling? Everything from 
cockfighting to soccer, race track and 
bull ring; and if you don't like blood, 
you can always buy a ticket for che na- 
tional lottery. There's hunting for big 
game, from the afterdeck of an ocean- 
going sport fisherman rigged for sailfish, 
or on horseback in the Coastal jungles 
by the Pacific. 1t can all be found in the 
area covered by this report; and even if 
the skipper of the cruiser turns out. to 
be a boozy con man or the hunting 
guide is afraid of jaguars, there is always 
the prospect of a new journcy tomorrow 
and a different set of surprises to com- 
pensate. 


When planning your trip, it would be 
wise to work out your itinerary to avoid 
carrying purchases from city to city, 
which can run into considerable expense 
in excess-baggage charges and porters’ 
tips. If possible, confine all bulky shop- 
ping to one or two cities (Mexico City 
and the Guadalajara market should pro- 
vide everything you'll want) and try to 

(continued on page 226) 


ШЕ 
1969 


vote for 

your favorites 
for the thirteenth 
all-star band 


THE BOUNDARY LINES separating the vari- 
ous forms of contemporary music continue 
to fade as jazz, rock, folk, country-and- 
western and pop meet and merge in the 
musical mainstream to form an eclectic 
whole. Last year, PLAvBoy recognized the 
rapidly accelerating fusion and broadened 
the scope of its poll to encompass as many 
facets of this emergent art form as possible. 
The response from readers was enthusias- 
tically approving. 

To yote in the 1969 Playboy Jazz & 
Pop Poll, all you have to do is read the 
simple instructions below, check off your 
favorite artists and fill in your choices for 
The Playboy Jazz Hall of Fame and for 
Playboy's Records of the Year, where in- 
dicated, and make sure you forward the 
ballot to us. The musicians chosen by 
the readers to make up the 1969 All-Star 
Band will each receive the coveted 
Playboy Medal. Results of our thirteenth 
annual Playboy Jazz & Pop Poll will ap- 
pear in qur February 1969 issue. 

1, Your official ballot is on the foldout 
facing this page. A Nominating Board 
composed of music editors, critics, repre- 
sentatives of the major recording com- 


panies and winners of last year's poll has 
selected the artists it considers to be the 
most outstanding and/or popular of the 
year. These nominations for the Playboy 
AllStar Band should serve solely as an 
aid to your recollection of artists and per- 
formances, not as a guide on how to vote, 
You may vote for any living artist. 

2. The artists have been divided into 
categories to form the Playboy All-Star 
Band, so in some categories you should 
vote for more than one musician (eig. 
four trombones, two alto saxes, two tenor 
saxes), because a big band normally has 
more than one of these instruments play- 
ing in it. Be sure to cast the correct 
number of votes, as designated on the 
ballot, because too many votes in any 
category will disqualify all of your votes 
in that category. 

3. f you wish to vote for an artist who 
has been nominated, simply place an X 
in the box before his name on the ballot; 
if you wish to vote for an artist who has 
not been nominated, write his name on 
one of the lines provided at the bottom 
of the category and place an X in the 
box before it. 


4. For leader of the 1969 Playboy All- 
Star Band, limit your choice to the men 
who have led a big band (eight or more 
musicians) during the past 12 months; 
for instrumental combo, limit your choice 
to groups of seven or fewer musicians. 

5. Please print your name and address 
in the space at the bottom of the last 
page of the ballot. You may cast only one 
complete ballot in the poll, and that must 
carry your name and address if your vote 
is to be counted. 

6. Any instrumentalist or vocalist, liv- 
ing or dead, is eligible for the Jazz Hall of 
Fame, except those previously elected: 
Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Dave Bru- 
beck, R'ay Charles, John Coltrane, Duke 
Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Benny Good. 
man and Frank Sinatra. The top three 
choices of our readers will be installed in 
PLAYBOY's music pantheon, 

7. Cut your ballot along the dotted 
line and mail it to PLAYBOY JAZZ & 
POP POLL, Playboy Building, 919 
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. 
Ballots must be postmarked before mid- 
night, October 15, 1968, in order to be 
counted, so mail yours today. 


NOMINATING BOARD: Cannanball Adderley, Herb Alpert, Louis Armstrong, Chet Atkins, Dan Barbour (Faur Freshmen), Bob Brookmeyer, 
Ray Brawn, Dave Brubeck, Petula Clark, Miles Davis, Buddy DeFranco, Paul Desmond, Duke Ellingtan, Ella Fitzgerald, Pete Fountain, 
Stan Getz, Dizzy Gillespie, Al Hirt, Milt Jackson, J. J. Johnsan, Henry Mancini, Paul McCartney (Beatles), Charles Mingus, Gerry Mulligan, 


Oscar Peterson, Boots Randolph, Buddy Rich, Ravi Shankar, Frank Sinatra, Kai Winding, Si Zentner; Not Hentaff, Jazz Critic; Dan Morgon- 
stern, Editor, Down Beat; George Wein, Independent Record Producer; Michael Zwerin, Jazz Critie; Nesuhi Ertegun, Atlontic; David Axelrod, 
Capitol; Tea Macera, Calumbio; Lester Koenig, Cantemperary; МІН Gabler, Decca; Bernard Stollman, ESP-Disk; Robert Thiele, Impulsel; 


Alan Mink, Mercury; Don Schlitten, Prestige; Brad McCuen, RCA Victor; Richard Perry, Reprise; Stan Cornyn, Warner Bros.-Seven Arts. 


LEADER © Jonah Jones O Hank Crawford O John Klemmer 


1 
H 
H 
1 (Please check one.) O Thad Jones E] Sonny Criss O Harold Land 
| O Count Basie O Hugh Masekela О Раш Desmond O Yusef Lateef 
i E] Louis Bellson O Howard McGhee O Lou Donaldson E] Charles Lloyd 
H E] James Brown E] Blue Mitchell O Bunky Green 0 Steve Marcus 
Н E] Les Brown 0 Lee Morgan Dj John Handy O Eddie Miller 
H O Ray Charles O Ray Nance O Joe Harriott O Hank Mobley 
Н О Ray Conniff O Joe Newman E] Johnny Hodges 0 James Moody 
Н E] King Curtis E] Jimmy Owens E] Paul Horn O Brew Moore 
H O Johnny Dankworth E] Shorty Rogers E] Robin Kenyatta E] Vido Musso 
1 07 Buddy DeFranco E] Emie Royal O Eric Kloss E] “Fathead” Newman 
H О Les and Larry Elgart O Doc Severinsen O Lee Konitz E] Sal Nistico 
i O Duke Ellington E] Charlie Shayers O Byard Lancaster 0 Art Pepper 
H O Don Ellis E] Jack Sheldon E] Amic Lawrence O Bill Perkins 
1 0 Gil Evans E] Alan Shorter O Walt Levinsky O Boots Randolph 
H E] Richard Evans О Marvin Stamm E] Fred Lipsius O Sonny Rollins 
i O Dizzy Gillespie O Clark Terry 0 Charlie Mariano L] Pharoah Sanders 
1 D) Benny Goodman E] Joe Wilder E] Jackie McLean O Tom Scott 
1 E] Lionel Hampton o С Charles McPherson E] Archie Shepp 
H O Lennie Hayton n E] James Moody П Wayne Shorter 
H O Ted Heath Bü 0 Ted Nash Г] Zoot Sims 
1 E] Skitch Henderson o O Anthony Ortega E] Sonny Stitt 
1 O Woody Herman O Art Pepper О Buddy Tate 
1 O Harry James TROMBONE E] Gene Quill O Lucky Thompson 
H E] Quincy Jones (Please check four.) L] Jerome Richardson O Stanley Turrentine 
H 0 Thad Jones/Mel Lewis — [] Milt Bernhart E] Marshall Royal E] Harold Vick 
1 0 Stan Kenton Г] Harold Betters [ПП Bud Shank E] Ben Webster 
1 О Rod Levitt E] Bob Brookmeyer E] Sonny Simmons E] Frank Wess 
H Г] Henry Mancini E] Garnett Brown Zoot Sims B" 
H E] Charles Mingus 0 Lawrence Brown E] James Spaulding п 
1 O Oliver Nelson O Georg Brunis O Sonny Stitt 
g E] Duke Pearson E] Jimmy Cleveland E] Frank Strozier BARITONE SAX 
О Sun Ra 0 Buster Cooper O Paul Winter (Please check one.) 
0) Buddy Rich O Cutty Cutshall E] Jimmy Woods E] Pepper Adams 
Г] Johnny Richards E] Vic Dickenson E] Phil Woods Lj Erie Caceres 
E] Nelson Riddle 0 Bob Fitzpatrick. О Leo Wright O Jay Cameron 
О Eddie Sauter Г] Сап Fontana Г шыт juger 
О Doc Severinsen E] Curtis Fuller E e reac Camcy, 
O Clark Terry O Tyree Glenn O Ronnie Cuber 
ПП Tommy Vig E] Bennie Green TENOR SAX O Charles Davis 
E] Gerald Wilson E] Urbie Green (Please check two.) Chuck Gentry 
O Si Zentner O Al Grey O Georgie Auld O Jimmy Giuffre 
oS П Slide Hampton E] Albert. Ayler [ Frank Hittner 
E] Bill Harris O Gato Barbieri O Bill Hood 
1 TRUMPET E] Wayne Henderson E] Don Вуз E] Artie Kaplan 
H (Please check four.) O J. C. Higginbotham E] Al Cohn O Gerry Mulligan 
Н E] Nat Adderley E] Quentin Jackson П George Coleman E] Jack Nimitz 
i О Herb Alpert O J. J. Johnson E] Bob Cooper O Cecil Payne 
Н E] Louis Armstrong E] Rod Levitt E] Corky Corcoran O Jerome Richardson 
1 О Don Ayler O Melba Liston О Jay Core O Ronnie Ross 
H О Chet Baker O Albert Mangelsdorff О King Curtis E] Clifford Scott 
H O Dud Bascomb E] Grachan Moncur Ш D Eddie Daniels O Lonnie Shaw 
H [] Ruby Braff Г] Turk Murphy O Eddie Davis E] Sahib Shihab 
H O Billy Butterfield O Dick Nash E] Sam Donahue E] Butch Stone 
H L] Donald Byrd E] Benny Powell E] Teddy Edwards Bn 
1 E] Conte Candoli [ Frank Rosolino E] Booker Ervin 
E] Pete Candoli O Roswell Rudd E] Frank Foster CLARINET 
О Don Cherry g Dickie Wells O Jimmy Foster (Please check one.) 
0 Buck Clayton O Kai Winding O Bud Freeman O Alvin Batiste 
1 Г] Jacques Coursil O Trummy Young П Stan Сеш O Barney Bigard 
Н O Miles Davis О Si Zentner [] Benny Golson O Acker Bilk 
Н [Г] Wild Bill Davison B" [O Раш Gonsalves O Buddy Collette 
H 0 Kenny Dorham [uj E] Dexter Gordon D Eddie Daniels 
H О Harry Edison o E] John Griffin O Kenny Davern 
c О Roy Eldridge [n] О Eddie Harris O Buddy DeFranco 
Н O Don Ellis O Coleman Hawkins O Pete Fountain 
Н O Art Farmer ALTO SAX O Jimmy Heath 0 Jimmy Сїшїте 
1 C] Maynard Ferguson (Please check two.) E] Joc Henderson П Benny Goodman 
i O Dizzy Gillespie E] Cannonball Adderley O Bill Holman D Jimmy Hamilton 
H C] Bobby Hackett E] Al Belletto E] Illinois Jacquet E] Woody Herman 
Н O Al Hirt O Marion Brown 0 Plas Johnson [ПП Paul Hom 
Н [O Freddie Hubbard E] Benny Carter E] Richie Kamuca О Peanuts Ниско 
H O Harry James E] Ornette Coleman O Roland Kirk O Rolf Kuhn 
H 
H 


YOUR 1969 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL BALLOT 


O George Lewis 
E] Herbie Mann. 

E] Joe Muranyi 

E] Dave Pell 

П) Art Pepper 

Г] Russell Procope 
E] Perry Robinson 
[Г] Pee Wee Russell 
O Tony Scott 

E] Bill Smith 

E] Phil Woods 

E] Sol Yaged 

3 


PIANO 

(Please check one.) 
O Monty Alexander 
E] Mose Allison 
Г] Count Basie 
E] Paul Bley 
[Г] Dollar Brand 
E] Dave Brubeck 
E] Jaki Byard 
E] Barbara Carroll 
[J Ray Charles 
O Cy Coleman 
0 Chick Corca 
E] Duke Ellington 
Г] Bill Evans 
0 Gil Evans 
O Don Ewell 
E] Victor Feldman 
O Clare Fischer 
E] Tommy Flanagan 
Г] Russ Freeman 
0 Don Friedman 
0 Red Garland 
E] Eroll Garner 
0 Dave Grusin 
E] Vince Guaraldi 
0 Herbie Hancock 
O Roland Hanna 
[] Hampton Hawes 
[D Skitch Henderson 
O Eddie Heywood 
0 Earl "Fatha" Hines 
0 Dick Hyman 
O Ahmed Jamal 
O Keith Jarrett 
П Pete Jolly 
O Hank Jones 
O Roger Kellaway 
Г] Wynton Kelly 
E] Steve Kuhn 
John Lewis 
O Ramsey Lewis 
O Mike Longo 
Г] Junior Марсо 
O Toshiko Mariano 
O Les McCann 
D Marian McPartland 
0 Sergio Mendes 
D Dwike Mitchell 
E] Thelonious Monk 
O Bud Montgomery 
O Marty Napoleon 
O Peter Nero 
0 Phineas Newborn, Jr. 
O Bernard Peiffer 
E] Oscar Peterson 
O André Previn 
О Sun Ra 


Dj Jimmy Rowles 
0 George Shearing 
Г] Horace Silver 
E] Martial Solal 

0 Otis Spann 

0 Jess Stacy 

D Billy Taylor 

0 Cecil Taylor 

J Bobby Timmons 
0 Ross Tompkins 
0 Lennie Tristano 
O McCoy Tyner 
0 Mal Waldron 

O Cedar Walton 
O Randy Weston 
E) Mary Lou Williams 
O Roger Williams 
O Valdo Williams 
O Jack Wilson 

O Teddy Wilson 
0 Mike Wofford 
O Joe Zawinul 

[] Denny Zeitlin 
a 


GUITAR 
(Please check one.) 

D Laurindo Almeida 
D Chet Atkins 
O Billy Bauer 
O George Benson 
0 Mike Bloomficld 
O Luiz Bonfá 
O Sandy Bull 
O Kenny Burrell 
O Charlie Byrd 
0 Eric Clapton 
O Eddie Condon 
0 Larry Coryell 
O Duane Eddy 
O Herb Ellis 
I] Tal Farlow 
0 Barry Galbraith 
[O Joao Gilberto 
0 Freddie Green 
0 Grant Green 
O Buddy Guy 
O Jerry Hahn 
O Jim Hall 
D) Bill Harris 
0 George Harrison 
Al Hendrickson 
O Jimi Hendrix 
O Lonnie Johnson 
O Danny Kalb 
0 Barney Kessel 
O Albert. King 
О B. B. King 
O Robby Krieger 
O Mundell Lowe 
O Pat Martino 
J Oscar Moore 
O Tony Mottola 
O Joc Pass 
O Les Paul 
D] Joe Puma 
O Jimmy Raney 
0 Howard Roberts 
E] Sal Salvador 
О Bola Sete 
Г] Sonny Sharrock 
Johnny smith 


E] Les Spann 

E] Gabor Szabo 

O George Van Eps 
О Al Viola 

O Muddy waters 
0 Doc Watson 

O Chuck Wayne 
E] Zalman Yanovsky 
D Attila Zoller 

o 


BASS 
(Please check one.) 


E] Joe Benjamin 
0 Kerer Beus 

O Ray Brown 

0 Monty Budwig 
E] Joe Byrd 

D Red Callender 
O Ron Carter 

0 Buddy Catlett 
O Paul Chambers 
D] Gene Cherico 
E] Buddy Clark 

O Joe Comfort 

O Bob Cranshaw 
O Bill Crow 

0 Art. Davis 

E] Richard Davis 
0 George Duvivier 
D] Richard Evans 
E] Pops Foster 

Г] Johnny Frigo 
E] Jimmy Garrison 
E] Eddie Gomez 
O Charlie Haden 
0 Bob Haggart 
O Percy Heath 

O Milt Hinton 

O Major Holley 
0 Chuck Israels 
E] Chubby Jackson 
Sam Jones 

О John Lamb 

D Bill Lee 

0 Cecil McBee 

oO Ron McClure 
[] Al McKibbon 
2 Charles Mingus 
О Red Mitchell 
O Monk Montgomery 
Г] Sebastian Neto 
Г] Gary Peacock 

O N. H. Pedersen 
0 Howard Rumsey 
E] Eddie Safranski 
Г] Arvell shaw 

E] Andy Simpkins 
0 Slam Stewart 
О AL Stinson 

0 Steve Swallow 
E] Steve Tintweiss 
E] Leroy Vinnegar 
o Miroslav Vitous 
O Wilbur Ware 
O Chris White 

O Reggie Workman 
O Gene Wright 
[] El Dee Young 


DRUMS 
(Please check onc.) 

D) Rashied Ali 
O Dave Bailey 
O Donald Bailey 
0 Ginger Baker 
П Danny Вагссјопа 
O Louis Bellson 
О Han Bennink 
О Dick Berk 
O Art Blakey 
O Willie Bobo 
0 Larry Bunker 
O Frank Butler 
O Frank Capp 
Г] Kenny Clarke 
E] Cory Cole 
0 Bobby Colomby 
0 Joe Cusatis 
O Alan Dawson 
O Jack De Johnette 
O Frankie Dunlop 
O Bobby Durham 
О Al Foster 
O Vernel Fournier 
O Jimmy Gordon 
O Milford Graves 
O Sonny Greer 
0 Chico Hamilton 
O Jake Hanna 
E] Louis Hayes 
E] Roy Haynes 
O Billy Higgins 
O Red Holt 
О Stix Hooper 
0 Phil Humphries 
O AL Jackson, Jr. 
O Oliver Jackson 
E] Ron Jefferson 
О Elvin Jones 
O Jo Jones 
O Philly Joc Jones 
0 Rufus Jones 
O Connic Kay 
O Gene Krupa 
О Don Lamond 
[] Pete LaRoca 
D Stan Levey 
0 Mel Lewis 
0 Shelly Manne 
E] Mitch Mitchell 
O Charles Moffett 
O Joe Morello 
E] Sunny Murray 
E] Sandy Nelson 
O Sonny Payne 
O Walter Perkins 
O Charlie Persip 
E] Bill Quinn 
0 Buddy Rich 
[J Max Roach 
E] Mickey Roker 
0 Zutty Singleton 
O Jack Sperling 
0 Ringo Starr 
[J Bob Stone 
[O Grady Tate 
O Ed Thigpen 
O Charlie Watts 
0 Tony Williams 
J Sam Woodyard 
[а] 


o 


YOUR 1969 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL BALLOT 


MISC. INSTRUMENT 
(Please check one.) 

O Roy Ayers, vibes 

€ Dave Baker, cello 

C] Раш Beaver, Moog 
synthesizer 

O Booker T. organ 

Г] Ray Brown, cello 

O Jack Bruce, electric bass 

C] Larry Bunker, vibes 

0 Gary Burton, vibes 

E] Don Butterfield, tuba 

Paul Butterfield, harmonica 

E] Candido, bongos 

O Omette Coleman, violin 

Г] Buddy Collette, flute 

EJ Miles Davis, Flügelhorn 

E] Buddy DeFranco, bass 
clarinet 

Г] Bill Doggett, organ 

Г] Bob Dylan, harmonica 

0 Don ЕШон, vibes, 
mellophone 

O Art Farmer, Fliigethorn 

E] Victor Feldman, vibes 


E] Denny Gerrard, electric bass 


Г] Terry Gibbs, vibes 

0 Вапу Goldberg, organ 

П Earl Grant, organ 

E] Tommy Gumina, accordion 

E] Lionel Hampton, vibes 

Г] Rufus Harley, bagpipes 

Г] George Harrison, sitar 

Г] Groove Holmes, organ 

Г] Paul Horn, flute 

O Bobby Hutcherson, vibes 

Г] Milt Jackson, vibes 

Г] Ali Akbar Khan, sarod 

Г] Roland Kirk, manzello, 
stritch, flute 

[J Al Kooper, organ 

Г] Steve Lacy, soprano sax 

O Yusef Lateef, flute, oboe 

E] Hubert Laws, flute 

Г] Charles Lloyd, flute 

E] Johnny Lytle, vibes 

E] Mike Mainicri, vibes 

Г] Herbie Mann, flute 

Г] Ray Manzarek, organ 


E) Paul McCartney, electric bass 


[3 Gary McFarland, vibes 
O Jimmy McGriff, organ 

E] Bud Montgomery, vibes 
[J James Moody, flute 

CJ Joe Mooney, accordion 
O Ray Nance, violin 

[ Red. Norvo, vibes 

E] Don Patterson, organ 

Г] Dave Pike, vibes 

0 Jean-Luc Ponty, violin 

Г] Noel Redding, electric bass 
Г] Emil Richards, vibes 

Г] Jerome Richardson, flute 
O Shorty Rogers, Flügelhorn 
O Willie Ruff, French horn 
Г] Mongo Santamaria, conga 
E] Shirley Scott, organ 

О Earl Scruggs, banjo 

E] Bud Shank, flute 

O Ravi Shankar, sitar 


Sonny Simmons, English hom 


Г] Jimmy Smith, organ 
Г] Lonnie Smith, organ 


O Jeremy Steig. flute 
O Clark Terry, Flügelhorn 


E] Jean Thielemans, harmonica 


E] Cal Tjader, vibes 
O Art Van Damme, accordion 
Г] Tommy Vig. vibes 

0 Walter Wanderley, organ 


O Julius Watkins, French horn 


O Mike White, violin 
O Larry Young, organ 
n 


MALE VOCALIST 
(Please check one.) 

O David Allen 
Г] Mose Allison 
O Herb Alpert 
O Ed Ames 
Г) Eric Anderson 
Г] Louis Armstrong 
[ Charles Aznavour 
E] Harry Belafonte 
O Tony Bennett 
[] Brook Benton 
Г] Chuck Berry 
O Bobby Bland 
O David Blue 
Pat Boone 
[Г] Richard Boone 
O James Brown 
D Oscar Brown, Jr. 
E] Tim Buckley 
D Eric Burdon 
E] Glen Campbell 
[O Johnny Cash 
[] Ray Charles 
[] Wayne Cochran 
E] Leonard Cohen 
Г] Earl Coleman 
[] Ferry Como 
D Arthur Conley 
O James Cotton 
Г] Vic Damone 
Г] Bobby Darin 
O Sammy Davis Jr. 
[O Johnny Desmond 
Г] Fats Domino 
E] Donovan 
Г] Frank D'Rone 
O Bob Dylan 
O Billy Eckstine 
Г] Fddie Fisher 
O John Gary 
D Marvin Gaye 
Г] João Gilberto 
Г] Robby Goldsboro 
Г] Buddy Greco 
O Апо Guthrie 
[] Roy Hamilton 
O Tim Hardin 
[D Richard Harris 
[Г] Johnny Hartman 
[] Richie Havens 
O Clancy Hayes 
[] Bill Henderson 
Г] Jon Hendricks 
[] Jimi Hendrix 
0) Woody Herman 
O Al Hibbler 
[J John Lee Hooker 
O Lightnin’ Hopkins 
Г] Engelbert Humperdinck 


YOUR 1969 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL BALLOT 


E] Bernard Ito 

[ Walter Jackson 
O Mick Jagger 

O Johnny Janis 
[O Antonio Carlos Jobim 
O Lonnie Johnson 
Г] Jack Jones 

J Tom Jones 

O Todd Kelley 
O B. B. King 

Г] Frankie Laine 
E] Steve Lawrence 
E] Julius Lester 
Trini Lopez 

O Dean Martin 
Г] Al Martino 

E] Hugh Masekela 
Ò Johnny Mathis 
Г] John Mayall 
E] Paul McCartney 
[ Scott McKenzie 
O Rod McKuen 
D Roger Miller 
[ Chad Mitchell 
E] Matt Monro 

C Jim Morrison 
E] Mark Murphy 
E] Johnny Nash 
гп Fred Neil 

Г1 Anthony Newley 
E] Phil Ochs 

O Roy Orbison 
Г] Jackie Paris 

[O Wilson Pickett 
Г] Gene Pitney 

[J King Pleasure 
[0 Elvis Presley 

[] Arthur Prysock 
[ Lou Rawls 

L] Jimmy Rced 

O Little Richard 
[3 Johnny Rivers 
[ Smokey Robinson 
O Tom Rush 

Г] Jimmy Rushing 
[ Mitch Ryder 

Г] Crispian St. Peters 
E] Joe Simon 

[Г] Frank Sinatra 
Г] Pat Sky 

[ Percy Sledge 

O 0. C. Smith 

Г] Otis Spann 

E] Billy Stewart 

O Joe Tex. 

Г] Tiny Tim 

E] Mel Tormé 

C Bobby Troup 
E] Joc Turner 

[J Jerry Vale 

Г] Frankie Valli 

E] Adam Wade 

[1 Muddy Waters 
E] Junior Wells 

[J Andy Williams 
EJ Joe Williams 
[J Jackie Wilson 
E] Steve Winwood 
E] Jimmy Witherspoon 
O Howlin Wolf 
E] Stevie Wonder 
D Glenn Yarbrough 
п 


FEMALE VOCALIST 
(Please check one.) 

E] Lorez Alexandria 

Г] Amanda Ambrose 

Г] Nancy Ames 

Г] Ernestine Anderson 

Г] Joan Baez 

0 Pearl Bailey 

Г] La Vern Baker 

П Mae Barnes 

O Clea Bradford 

O Joy Bryan 

O Jackie Cain 

Г] Lana Cantrell 

O Vikki Carr 

[] Diahann Carroll 

Г] Betty Carter 

D Chér 

Г] June Christy 

Г] Petula Clark 

Г] Chris Connor 

Г Damita Jo 

D Jackie De Shannon 

E] Cass Elliott 

Г] Ethel Ennis 

O Marianne Faithfull 

O Ella Fitzgerald 

0) Connie Francis 

O Aretha Franklin 

Г] Judy Garland 

О Gale Gamett 

[] Bobbie Gentry 

O Astrud Gilberto 

Г] Lesley Gore 

D Eydie Gormé 

Lj Lena Horne 

[] Helen Humes 

[] Lurlean Hunter 

D Janis Ian 

O Mahalia Jackson, 

Г] Fita James 

O Janis Joplin 

D Sheila Jordan 

Г] Laimic Kazan 

O Beverly Kelly 

O Morgana King 

O Teddi King 

E] Eartha Kitt 

О Peggy Lee 

O Abbey Lincoln 

D Julie London 

O Lulu 

O Gloria Lynne 

[ Miriam Makeba 

Г] Grace Markay 

O Big Maybelle 

D Marilyn Maye 

Г] Spanky McFarlane 

O Barbara McNair 

D Cmar McRae 

СЇ Liza Minnelli 

П Anita O'Day 

O Odeua 

О Patti Page 

Г] Sandy Posey 

O Sue Raney 

Г] Della Reese 

O Ann Richards 

[] Mavis Rivers 

[] Annie Ross 

L] Diana Ross 

O Buffy Sainte-Marie 


E] Nina Simone 

E] Nancy Sinatra 

E] Grace Slick 

E) Carol Sloane 

E] Jennie Smith 

E] Keely Smith 

E] Joanie Sommers 
El Jeri Southern 

E] Dusty Springficld 
D Jo Stafford 

E] Dakota Staton 
Г] Barbra Streisand 
O Carla Thomas 
O Big Mama Thornton 
D Teri Thomton 
E] Diana Trask 

E] Leslie Uggains 
[O Sarah Vaughan 
© Carol Ventura 
D Dionne Warwick 
O Patty Waters 

E] Mary Wells 

[ Kim Weston 

© Margaret. Whiting 
D Lee Wiley 

O Nancy Wilson 

Hu 


INSTRUMENTAL COMBO 
(Please check one.) 

O Cannonball Adderley Quintet 

E] Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass 

[ Louis Armstrong All-Stars 

E] Albert Ayler Trio 

D Al Belletto Quartet. 

O Art Blakey and the Jazz 

Messengers 

0 Booker T. and the MG's 

0 Gary Burton Quartet 

O Charlie Byrd Trio 

O Barbara Carroll Trio 

E] Al Cohn-Zoot Sims Quintet 

0 Cy Coleman Trio 

[ Ornette Coleman Quartet 

ГЇ Miles Davis Quintet 

O Bill Doggett and Combo 

L] Dukes of Dixieland 

E] Bill Evans Trio 

O Art. Farmer Quintet 

0 Erroll Garner Quartet 

0 Stan Getz Quartet 

Г] Dizy Gillespie Quintet 

O Jimmy Giuffre Quartet 

O Benny Goodman Sextet 

O Urbie Green Septet 

E] Al Grey-Billy Mitchell Sextet 

[] Vince Guaraldi Trio 

[O Chico Hamilton Combo 

O John Handy Quintet 

[] Hampton Hawes Trio 

Г] Earl Hines Quartet 

O Al Hirt's New Orleans Sextet 

Г] Groove Holmes Trio 

E] Freddie Hubbard Quintet 

[O Bobby Hutcherson / Harold 

Land Quintet 

O Illinois Jacquet Trio 

Ahmad Jamal Trio 

E] Jazz Crusaders 

[1 Elvin Jones Trio 

O Wynton Kelly Trio 

O Bamey Kessel Quartet 

O Roland Kirk Quartet 


O Lee Konitz-Marshall Brown 
Quartet. 

O Gene Krupa Quartet 

0 Ramsey Lewis Trio 

0 Lighthouse All-Stars 

E] Charles Lloyd Quartet 

O Herbie Mann Quintet 

0 Shelly Manne and his Men 

O Toshiko Mariano Quartet 

O Hugh Masekela Quintet 

O Les McCann Ltd. 

0 Jack McDuff Combo 

Г] Marian McPartland Trio 

O Charles Mingus Jazz 
Workshop. 

[ Mitchell-Ruff ‘Trio 

O Modern Jazz Quartet 

O Thelonious Monk Quartet 

O Peter Nero Trio 

L] Red Norvo Quintet. 

O Oscar Peterson Trio 

O Quartette Très Bien 

O Max Roach Quintet 

L] Sonny Rollins Trio 

D) George Russell Sextet 

D Pee Wee Russell All-Stars 

О Saints & Sinners 

[O Pharoah Sanders Quartet 

D) Tony Scott Quartet 

ПП Bola Sete Trio 

О Bud Shank Quartet 

0 George Shearing Quintet 

O Archie Shepp Quartet 

O Horace Silver Quintet 

O Jimmy smith Trio 

Jeremy Steig and the Satyrs 

0 Cecil Taylor Quintet 

E] Terry-Brookmeyer Quintet 

D Three Sounds 

0 Cal Tjader Quintet 

D Ventures 

Г] Jr. Walker and the All-Stars 

[] Teddy Wilson Trio 

D Kai Winding Quartet 

O Paul Winter Sextet 

0 Denny Zeitlin Trio 


VOCAL GROUP 

(Please check ene.) 
D Association 
O Beach Boys 
D Beatles 
[] Bee Gees 
Big Brother and the 
Holding Company 
Blood, Sweat and Tears 
Blossoms 
Brothers Four 
Buckinghams 
Buffalo Springfield. 
Paul Butterficld Blues Band 
Byrds 
Jackie Cain & Roy Kral 
Chad and Jeremy 
Chambers Bros. 
D Ray Charles Singers 
[] Clancy Bros. & 

Tommy Makem 

D Dave Clark Five 
[Г] Country Joc and the Fish 
O Cowsills 
D Cream 


üupggudgugmgg d 


YOUR 1959 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL BALLOT 


[O Spencer Davis Group 
[а Doors 

Г] Double Six of Paris 
E] Electric Flag 

[O Everly Brothers 

[1 Fifth Dimension 

D Five Stairsteps 

[O Four Freshmen 

O Four Lads 


Г] Manin Gaye & 
Tammi Terrell 

D Grateful Dead 

0 Jimi Hendrix Experience 

O Herman's Hermits 

Г] Hollies 

E] Ian & Sylvia 

O Ike & Tina Turner 

07 Impressions 

Incredible String Band 

[J Ink Spots 

O Tommy James and the 
Shondells 

D Jay and the Americans 

E] Jefferson Airplane 

O Anita Kerr Singers 

[1 King Sisters 

ingston Trio 

D Kinks 

E] Gladys Knight and the Pips 

E] Lettermen 

0 Love Generation 

[D Lovin Spoonful 

O Mamas and the Papas 

E] Johnny Mann Singers 

E] Martha and the Vandellas 

O Marvelettes 


D Sergio Mendes and Brasil '66 [Г] 


E] Mills Brothers 

C] Moby Grape 

0 Monkees 

O Mothers of Invention 

E] New Christy Minstrels 

( Peaches and Herb 

[] Peter, Paul & Mary 

O Platters 

O Procol Harum 

П Raelets 

[] Paul Revere and the Raiders 

[] Smokey Robinson and the 
Miracles 

O Rolling Stones 

0 Diana Ross & the Supremes 

E] Rotary Connection 

[J Sam and Dave 

O Seekers 

[] Seventh Sons 

0 Simon and Garfunkel 

[ Sly and the Family Stone 


` O Sonny and Chér 


0 Spanky and Our Gang 
0 Staple Singers 

D Kirby Stone Four 
O Sweet Inspirations 
O Swingle Singers 

[] Temptations 

O Trafic 

E] Tremelocs 

O Turtles 

O Ultimate Spinach 

[] Union Gap 

O Vanilla Fudge 

O Clara Ward Singers 
O Who 

[ПП Yardbirds 

O Youngbloods 

ПП Young Rascals 


THE PLAYBOY JAZZ HALL OF FAME 

(Instrumentalists and vocalists, living or dead, are eligible. Artists 
previously elected—Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Dave Brubeck, 
Ray Charles, John Coltrane, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, 
Benny Goodman, Frank Sinatra—are not eligible.) 


PLAYBOY’S RECORDS OF THE YEAR 
BEST INSTRUMENTAL LP (BIG BAND) 


BEST INSTRUMENTAL LP (FEWER THAN EIGHT PIECES) 


BEST VOCAL LP 


Name and address must be printed here to authenticate ballot. 


Name 


Address, 


City 


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“My, but it's good to get away from those smoke-filled rooms for 
a while and back to the old grass roots." 


139 


PLAYBOY 


140 


PERT 


would have to catch her committing 


FEES 
уе 


adultery, 
Not that he was certain she was 
cheating on him. But he was certain she 


might be; long before he asked for his 
divorce, he'd stopped making love to 
her. Common sense told him that if he 
was not between her legs, then some 
other black man could be. 

But he could not catch her at it and 
зо decided to hire someone to get under 
his wife's clothes and to have pictures 
taken of the event. Someone was Carlyle 
Bedlow. 

Carlyle was sitting in the dentist's 
chair—two small leather pillows messing, 
his straightened hair—when the dentist 
made his proposal. Carlyle's mind said 
yes immediately, but he wanted to see if 
the dentist was serious and just how 
much he was offering. He pretended re- 
luctance and also that such a job was 
DL ath him. "Man, you must bc crazy. 
I don't do no shit like that." He pretend. 
ed to be someone else so well that, for 
a moment, he forgot the dentist had just 
pulled his tooth 

"You didn't let me finish.” The dentist 
stood over him, Carlyles molar clamped 
between the prongs of his silver pliers. 
He pected the tooth, held it so Car- 
lyle could look into its black hole. “You 
got to take better care of your mouth, 
Carlyle" He shook his head. “This 
disgrace.” He put the pliers and 
tooth into а metal dish. "Look, I'm i 
spot and it's my only ex-cape. Besides, 1 
Yt mentioned money yet." 

"You're hurting me, man, but don't 
mention it, I don't go in for that kind of 
stuff. T stick to numbers and warm fur 
coats.” He leaned forward. as if to get 
up, but the dentist pushed him deeper 
into his great chair, fingered Carlyle's 
wound and inserted fresh cotton. be- 
tween cheek and gum. 

“The bleeding's stopping." He paused. 
“Did you ever realize I ain't asking you 
to do nothing illegal?” He smiled now; 
the dentist himself had a good dentist. 
“It's got to be done by somebody and I 
was just throwing the money your м 
АП you do is get her clothes off and some- 
one to break in and take pictures. 

"Why don't you just ask her for a 
divorce?" Of course, Carlyle knew, the 
dentist had already done that. 

"You think T mt? She won't hear 
nothing like that. Look, man, Fm in 
prison with a crazy warden, trying to 
get me to do all kinds of crazy things." 
"Then he told about his wife's obsession 
with sailing all around the world. 

Carlyle agreed. That did sound crazy. 
But he still qua hesitation. “Sup: 
pose she really ain't got nobody els 
Some women wait. I heard about them. 
Besides. it ain't my thing. 


g some 
from somewhere. You don't understand 


(continued from page 109) 


how bad it is" He w 
door and opened it. “ 
will you, baby?" 
Emering the office, hand against 
Carlyle had noticed Jean's legs ev 
through his pain. He had tried his smile 
on her. but her lips had not softened, 


t to the glass 
‘Jean, come in here, 


had remained stretched across her teeth, 
Now she came in almost suspiciously, 
but smiled at the dentist after she'd 
closed the door. 

"This is my girl.” 

“Pleased to meet you.” Her сус» w 


black. She was younger. 
much better built up than the dentist's 
wife. whom Carlyle had seen once or 
twice, with the dentist, in Jack O'Gce's 
Silver Goose Bar and. Restaurant. 

“I want to marry Jean.” The dentist 
sat down. “And 1 thought you might 
help me, out of friendship. 

Carlyle nodded, leaned imo the small 
basin beside him and spat. He did not 
consider the dentist his friend. He did 
not even have his home phone number. 
And if he'd had it, Carlyle would never 
have listed it among his first five choices 
as a number to call when he was being 
ed. He and the dentist met two or 
three times a month, by accident only, 
in the Silver Goose 

The dentist waited for Carlyle to 
straighten up before he continued. “Now 
I found me a sane woman and can't live 
опе no more. I need those 


Carlyle glanced at Jean to see if the 
scheme was new to her. She leaned 
st the wall near the door, her face 
empty except for make-up, which was 
lighter than her skin. "How much you 


"We ain't got no kids" The dentist 
hesitated and Carlyle knew this, too, 
was part of the trouble. Carlyle wasi 
married, but already he had two chil 
dren and visited their mothers when he 
had some money. "That means no sup 
port,” the dentist hadn't stopped, 
I get her on adultery, T can cut the ali 
mony down low. So it's worth a thou- 
sand if I get my pictures." 

It was a better offer than he had ex- 
pected, but he didn't tell that to the 
dentist. "Will you throw in my teeth?" 
The dentist agreed. 

Carlyle dimbed ош of 
leather chair, “Then, 1 guess 
legal for a while.” 

They agreed to meet tl 
Silver Goose. The dentist would bring 
his wife. Carlyle would sit at their table. 
After that, they could only hope that the 
dentists wile was ready for another new 
m 


and i 


the dentist's 
PU wi 


night in the 


Carlyle was sanding at the bar, over 
his second drink, when they came in, He 
had seen her onl mes before and 


few 


his memory had been kind: She looked 
even less appetizing than he remembered 
her—in a dull pink dress that hung loose 
ly from narrow shoulders, drowned high, 
hard breasts and sharp-edged hips. Her 
face was the color of milk mixed with 
orange juice, the features squeezed into 
its center. 

Passing by him on the way to the booths 
at the rear of the Goose, the dentist had 
not spoken or nodded. But after helping 
her into a seat and ordering her drink, he 
returned to the bar and Carlyle. “Bitch 
didn't want to come, but I told her 1 sure 
didn't want to stare ar her all night." 

Carlyle looked beyond the dentist at his 
wife. The glass in front of her, a brandy 

lexander, was already half empty. “What 
happens to her when she gets d 

"She cries.” 

Carlyle told the dentist the truth: It 
couldn't hurt him. “I like your money, 
but we'll never make it. 

"Well, go ahead and tr 

à lot of money 
You're right.” He push 
the bar, leaving his drink, which 
stinging the dentist’s work, and started 
toward the booth, the dentist close be- 
hind him. 

She looked up at them, light-brown 
eyes in her light-orange face, but she did 


One thousand 


this nigger years, 
Robena.” The dentist suddenly pretended 
great excitement. “We was in the Army 
together, introduced them. 
Carlyle smiled. “Pleased to meet you. 
Her hand was cold, filled with tiny bones. 
“Have a The dentist motioned 
him into the booth, next to his wife. As 
nished 


Carlyle was geting settled, she 


few 


her drink, pushed the foamed glass 
inches across the table 

“You want another?” After she nodded, 
the dentist went on selling Carlyle. "We 
was in Asia, Right, Carlyle?” 

“That's right.” But so far, Carlyle had 
been lucky enough to avoid wearing any 
uniforms. 

She looked at him now, seemed not to 
jeve him. 

o how you been, Carly 
dentist did not let him answer. 
ıt another drink, don't you? 

She nodded, continuing to study 
lyle. 

"What you been doing, man?" 

“A Не of a lor of th 
reached 
had smoked for this meeting, tr 
decide what to say if she wanted a 
precise definition of his livelihood. Bu 
then she turned away. 

The dentist did not give up. “Carlyle 
was a male muse in the dental corps. 
even pulled some teeth when we had lots 
of work. He was preuy good at it. I re 
member the first time I asked him to swing 
the hammer while 1 held the chisel. 

(continued on page 170) 


bel 


for 


тоте 


M as 1 climbed into the 
He was sitting well to- 
1 drawn up into a tight 
knot—head sunk between his shoulders, 
arms wrapped around his body. knees 
pressed together and pulled up toward 
his chin. He was wearing a trench coat 
sizes too large that hung in loose 
id him, the bottom dragging 
on the floor, and a misshapen black felt 
hat with a wide brim pulled down over 
his forehead. He was thin—almost skele: 
ilice yellow color 
His face was skullike, with enor 
cye sockets. The eyes were 
black brown, glazed and staring straight 


1 FIRST SAW d 
patrol wagon. 
ward the back, 


ahead. He was shivering and as I settled 


into my scat, he began shaking and 
shuddering, while his whole body jerked 


«d at the сог 
running, a 


ш from the 


nose 
drop of mucus ha 
He was emitting a 
ke sound, oc 
то himseif 


could understand. Suddenly, hc vomited, 
regurgitating globs of green bile, falling 
back. afterward onto the seat, moaning. 


We were going down to police head. 
quarters to be fingerprinted, photo- 
graphed, put through the showup, 


lormally booked and charged with our 
respective cimes, examined and thor- 
oughly frisked, interviewed, sent through 
a cold shower and finally assigned to a 
floor and a cell in the city prison to 
await trial. I couldn't help but speculate 
about how they expected to get the man 
through the entire procedure—which is 
an ordeal when one is in good health— 
without his collapsing completely. 

We were the only prisoners in the 
wagon. The cop who was sitting guard 
over us kept making remarks to me 
about how disgusting it was to see any- 
one in such a condition. “The poor son 
of a bitch would bc better off dead. 1 
ain't got no sympathy for you 
Why do you do it? There a 
worse than junk. How come you 
like him? You're a junkie, too, ain't you? 
Oh, well—you'll probably get like that 
later" 

The ride downtown seemed intermi 
d I was glad when we stopped 
nd the cop said, "End of the line, let's 
go. Come on, no stalling.” I was still 
feeling fairly good and had no trouble 
g down from the wagon, but my 
nion had to be dragged and 
culled alongside the head before he 
could manage to stagger and hall fall 
ош of the wagon down the stairs, past 
the newspaper reporters and photogr; 
phers, into headquarters, where we were 


ALVAREZ 


separated. Ат headquarte move 
slowly, and it wasn't until much later in 
the day that I saw him again. 

І was assigned to a temporary cell, 


where 1 waited until they called me out 
10 be printed and photographed, after 
which I was taken upstairs to the showup 
and then down to the courtroom, where 1 
appeared before a judge who decided 
what bail was to be set; then over to the 
city prison. 

metimes, if a junkie is very sick, or 
il the detective handling the case 
alraid the junkie is apt to get sick in the 
courtroom (something the judges frown 
ngements are made for the 
junkie to have a shot. Such must have 
happened with the fellow who had rid- 
den down with me, because he was cer 
ly in much better shape when they 
led him into the bull pen, where we 
were to wait un ignment to 
regular cells. Finally, our names were 
called and we were led over to the 
shower room, where we stripped, our 
clothes left in a pile, each piece closely 
examined seams carefully felt for con- 
cealed needles or stashes of junk. the 
shoes banged on the floor and inspected 
for false heels or sole: 
of cold water or 


our 


vhile we stood 
waited, 


n a shower 


an eyewitness 
account of 


a junkie’s cold-turkey battle 
against addiction 


article 
By HERBERT HUNCEE 


ILLUSTRATION BY BERNARD MCDONALD 


was over, After 


shivering, until the fr 
dressing, we were led before a doctor 
and given a cursory examination. We 
asked how long we had used junk 
and what kind. The sick man be 
hind me in line and while talking to the 
doctor, бх. He was told, 
"There will be no fix for you. This is 
jail, not a sanitarium. You kick—cold 
turke 

We were both sent to the cighth 
floor; they try to keep the ju 1 to 
gether and his cell was two dow! 
mine 

The cells in the city prison were o 
nally designed to accommodate one, but 
in the past few years have been used to 
hold two. Each cell now contains an up- 
per and a lower bunk, a toilet, a small 
washbasin, a stool or scat that lets down 
from the wall and a small square metal 
shelf or ledge that serves as a table. 
Each prisoner is issued three blankets— 
not always clean—a sheet, a pillowc 
and a towel. The bunks consist of a set 
ol springs. There are no mattresses. or 
and sometimes no pillows; there- 
necessary to use at least one of 
kets sort of pad over the 
gs. Before there were two springs 
ch cell, when it became necessary 
to put two men together, one or the 
other was forced to sleep on the foor. 

Each floor is broken up into four sec 
tions, alphabetically designated A, В, € 
and D. In each section there is what is 
ed a flats, the mainfloor row of cells, 
and a tier, or the row of cells immedi 
ately There are 
approximately 50 cells to cach section. 
The cells face a sort of well that runs 
the full length of cach row, extending 
as far over as a catwalk surrounding 
the entire lloor. Panels of small. opaque 
glass run around the perimeter of cach 


from 


са 


bove those on the flats. 


floor; one can see daylight but never a 
glimpse of the outside. The cells arc 
opened early in the moi usually 
shortly after breakfast, w s served 


on trays and brought to the cells by trus- 
toes, Regardless of how one feels, it is 
required that they gather ош on the 
flats and remain there until it is time for 
the midday meal, when they return to 
the cell for an hour, coming out 
for what is termed afternoon recre: 
This routine never v 
t for addicts who 
sick and weak, most instances unable 


discomfort 


are 


to stand for loi who must sit with 
head bowed over a long table flanking 
the side of the catwalk—if lucky—or end 
up sitting on the floor. The cells are 


closed and one can't get back in to lie 
down until the next lockup. 


I had (concluded on 


page 179) 


141 


PLAYBOY 


my music, my life consinued from page 112) 


frame. Neither of us said а word, but I 
saw that he was moved. 

Alter a little while, I finally said, "1 
am going today." 

Slowly, he looked over at me and 
asked, “Is that all? 1 mean, I just told 
you to wear bangle bracelets and it has 
hurt you so much that you are going to 
leave?" I had tears in my eyes. 1 had 
never seen him like this. He stood up 
and came over to me and said, “You 
remember at the pier in Bombay how 
your mother put your hand in mine and 
asked me to look after you as my own 
son? Since then, I have accepted you as 
my son, and this is how you want to 
break it?” 

Naturally, I didn't leave Baba after 
this scene. And after that, whenever he 
felt angry because of something I had 
done, he would get up and go beat 
someone else. 

It took a few months, but I got used 
to the quiet, i ed life with Baba, 
Usually, 1 would wake up about four 
o'clock in the morning and have a quick. 
wash, not the regular bath, and fix a 
cup of tea. I took my sitar and. practiced 
the basic scales as I drank my tea until 
six o'clock or so. Then I had my bath, 
did the morning worship that we are 
taught. from our childhood and ate two 
boiled eggs and a piece of Indian bread. 
After the little meal, 1 practiced the 
exercises or whatever I had learned the 
previous day so I could play it well 
when I went to Baba later on. Every- 
thing had to be memorized, of course, 
becuse we don't write anything down 
—not the notes or any of the formal in- 
struction, except for some small remind- 
ers for ourselves about the music. It 
must all be absorbed right away by the 
hands and the mind. A little after seven, 
І took my sitar, trembling and appre- 
hensive, and crossed the garden to 
Baba's house, where we would work for 
two or three hours. Sometimes he gave 
me a very difficult thing to learn. Then 
the lesson would take only half an hour 
and I would go sit for another hour or 
two, practicing and trying to learn it. 
Baba realized immediately that, mental- 
ly, I was quite advanced іп the music. 
But my bands were far behind, because. 
I had spent so little time learning the 
basics. І used to hate the scales and ex- 
ercises, it was a spiritual torture to me, 
because my hands could never catch ир 
with the idea of the music inside my 
head. | went through months of depres- 
sion, when I felt I was getting nowhere; 
but when my technique improved, I 
leamed extremely quickly. Then Baba 
would be inspired and a half-hour lesson 
often lasted three or four hours. Al- 
though Baba knew all the techniques of 
playing sitar, he did not play the instru- 


142 ment himself. He therefore taught me 


mostly by singing what he wanted me to 
play and learn. This is often done with 
our music, because by imitating the voice, 
one can get a deep insight into the raga 
and a better understanding. Often, too, 
Baba sat with his sarod and played what 
he wanted to teach me; but this was diffi- 
cult, because the sitar and sarod are 
tuned to different keys. Eventually, I de- 
vised a way of adjusting my tuning so 
that the two instruments could work 
together. 

In the beginning, although 1 had 
great respect for Baba, I didn't com- 
pletely understand what he wanted 
from his disciples. He is a teacher in the 
old style, demanding total humility and 
surrendering to the guru on the 
the student—a complete shedding of the 
ego. The disciple is only the receiver 
and what he is being taught is all he 
should consider; he must make no judg- 
ments of the guru and no criticisms. 
Sadly, this feeling of Vinaya is lacking 
today in many young people, in the 
East and West alike. The Western stu- 
dent, especially, seems to have an exces- 
ely casual attitude toward his teachers 
and toward the process of learning. 
The teacherstudent association 15 no 
longer patterned after the old father-son 
relationship. The two now are encour- 
aged by prevailing attitudes to act as 
friends and to consider each other on an 
equal level. This system, of course, has 
its benefits, but it is far from ideal for 
studying Indian music and for under- 
standing our traditions. The Indian 
teacher finds this casualness disturbing, 
even in so small а thing as the position 
the student takes when he sits. Often 
the student will try to sit on the floor 
like an Indian; but since he is not accus 
tomed to this (poor thing!), sooner or 
later he stretches out his legs and shows 
the soles of his feet to the guru. To us 
Indians, the feet are considered the 
most ignoble part of the body, and this 
position is one of extreme irreverence. 

Among our legends, there is a story 
that illustrates very well this quality of 
Vinaya. Long ago, it is said, the great 
rishi (saintsage) Narada was convinced 
that he had gained complete mastery of 
the art of music—in both theory and 
performance. The wise Vishnu decided 
to teach Narada a lesson to shauer his 
pride. So he took him to the dwelling 
place of the gods; and as they entered 
one building, they saw many men and 
women with broken limbs, all weeping 
over their condition. Vishnu went up to 
them and asked what was the matter. 
They told him they were the spirits of 
ragas and raginis created by Shiva. 
They said a certain rishi named Narada, 
who could neither perform nor under- 
stand music properly, had twisted and 
broken their limbs through his singing. 


And they said that unless some great 
and skilled musician could sing them 
again correctly, they would never гер 
th unmarred wholeness. When he 
heard this, Narada was deeply ashamed 
and, in all humility, knelt before Vishnu 
and begged forgiveness. 

Most often, Baba taught me alone 
but later, Ali Akbar and sometimes his 
sister Annapurna would join me for the 
sessions. Ali Akbar and I became very 
close, even though I was two years older 
than he. When I went to Maihar and 
saw him after nearly three years (he 
had been in Bombay with us before we 
left for Europe in 1935), I was greatly 
surprised and pleased at the progress he 
had made in his music, Before, he did 
not seem to me to have much enthusi- 
asm for playing the sarod, and 1 knew 
the almost incredible degree to which 
Baba carried his strictness with him. Ali 
Akbar told me he had been compelled 
to practice for 14 to 16 hours every day. 
Ali Akbar was born with music in his 
veins, but it was this constant rigorous 
discipline and riaz (Urdu for “practice”) 
that Baba set for him that has made 
Ali Akbar one of the greatest instrumen- 
talists alive. 


Early in 1945, I left Baba after seven 
years and went to Bombay. Although my 
intense training was finished, 1 returned 
to Maihar for two or three months a year 
until 1949 and, after that, went to see him 
as often as an increasingly busy schedule 
permitted. In Bombay, I entered a period 
of private study, composition and increas- 
ing recital work. One of the accomplish. 
ments from that period of which I am 
most proud is my scores for the films 
that make up Satyajit Rays Pather 
Panchali film trilogy. I also composed 
several hundred classical and folk pieces 
for the All-In Radio du a long 
stretch as its musical director, All through 
the period, my urge to spread Indian 
music to the West was growing, as were 
the audiences during my more-and-more- 
frequent Western tours. One of my closest 
helpers in this mission was the great vio- 
linist Yehudi Menuhin. 

Yehudi went to India for the first 
time in 1951. Soon after his arrival, a 
friend of mine held a musical soiree for 
him and asked me to play. I had seen 
Yehudi in Paris in the carly Thirties, at 
his rehearsals, but had never met him. 

I had never before seen a Western 
classical musician respond as emotional- 
ly to our music as Yehudi did that ni 
in Delhi. And the response was emotion- 
al, not just a matter of interest in the 
music’s technical aspects, His reaction to 
the music and my own reacuon to his 
personality formed the basis for a beau- 
tiful friendship. While hc was still in 
India, | heard him give a concert of 

(continued on page 236) 


Р THE 
REEL 
MCNAIR 


hitherto hidden talents—anatomic 
and histrionic—are unveiled 

in singer barbara mc nar 
auspicious screen debut 


144 іп the counuy, 


IT's NOT UNCOMMON these days for 
performers to reach the room at the 
top by express elevator; but for Bar- 
bara McNair, the trip has been any- 
thing but fast or smooth. Though 
she’s now established as one of the 
most sought-after nightclub singers 
and has just launched 


A 


/ 


f J 

a new career as a film star in Jf He 
Hollers Let Him Go, Barbara has 
more than paid her dues on the long 
way up. Starling out in Racine, Wis- 
consin, she got her first break from 
her parents—a foundry worker and a 


housekeeper at a retarded-children's 
institute—who saved their money and 


j 

-4 
sent her to study music at UCLA. 
But alter a year there, Barbara de- 
cided she needed experience more 
than theory and headed for New 
York, where countless auditions led 
finally to a monthlong singing stint 
at the Village Vanguard and a book. 
ing on the Arthur Godfrey Show. 


à 


After that, and a brief go at a Broad- 
way show, she began crisscrossing. the 
country on the nightclub circuit, 
worked in the national company of 
No Strings and interspersed frequent 
television appearances with dramatic 
roles in such shows as / Spy and The 
Eleventh Hour. But making If He 


Hollers, due for release later this 
month, has turned her on more than 
anything she's done. "Ym hooked," 
e explains. "I love singing, but 
it’s hard to really develop a mood 
in a song; it's too short. Somehow, 
І feel freer in front of a movie сат- 
era; I can get down to the bottom 


pit of emotion.” We couldn't agree 
more, as her nude love scene for If 
He ‘Hollers—exclusively previewed 
on the following pages—amply dem- 
onstrates. We asked Barbara, as a bo- 
nus, to further mix her media credits 
by posing for a special PLAYBOY 


shooting, above, off the set. Barbara 145 


146 


sees If He Hollers Let Him Go—a 
tense account of the escape and cap- 
ture of a Southern Negro convict— 
as an important advance in the civil 
rights of film making. After finally 
dumping the Stepin’ Fetchit. sterco- 
type, she feels, Hollywood. create 
an equally false and condescendin; 


image: the Negro as an asexual au 
tomaton, virtually devoid of romance 
“Negroes never seemed to kiss and 
hug,” says Barbara. But /f He Hollers 
changes all that—and then some. As 
the fugitive condemned murder 

Raymond St. Jacques is not just black 
but human; during the relentless 


chase, his mind flashes back to happier 


nd more amorous—times with his 
inger girlfriend, played by 
This picture really socks it 

to all those other film makers who 

wouldn't allow love between 

man and woman,” she declares.“ 

Indians win this time, baby." Barbara 


admits having had some reservations 
about doing the erotically explicit 
love scene shown on these pages: “I 
had already experienced public nudity 
at Esalen Institute's sulphur baths in 
Big Sur. It was there that 1 realized 
1 had kind of been brainwashed, and 
I was mad at myself for being hung 


up about it. But I had to consider 
the possibility of sensationalism in the 
movie. Then the director explained 
that he wanted to contrast the tender- 
ness of the remembered love scene with 
the brutality of the present, and 1 for 
got my objections. Besides, screen 
nudity goes along with a lot of other 


GRAPHY BY WILLIAM GREENSLADE 


things that are happening today. ‘This 
country is finally coming around to the 
sort of freedom Europe's had for a long 
time. Things are opening up, in films, 


music, politics—everywhere. People 
are looking fora more honest approach 
to life, and that includes a more 


honest approach to the body." 


BJ 147 


PLAYBOY 


UNDER THE ICE TOGETHER? 


end of ation, three days and nights 
of it, no sleep and some quite unpleas 
ant happenings, the pledges were taken, 
singly, blindfold, into the chapter room, 
for, they were told, the final ceremony. 
In candlelight, and in the buzzing reci. 
tation of much Greck ritual, the pin was 
fastened to whatever the pledge was 
ring—a shirt, usually. He was called 
rother, and brothers sw: 
to congratulate him. And just then, one, 
shouting No. by God. he was goddamned 
if he would stand for it, this son of a 
bitch was going to be sworn over his 
dead body, this one would rush the 
pledge, grab the pin and tear it off, the 
front of the shirt with it. General horror 
and dismay. A fight would start, three 
or four brothers would hustle the poor 
pledge out, give him a drink, console 
him, put him in a room alone while 
they hurried back to the basement to 
ngs out. It had been Cole 
who'd fought for Wengell, and until h 
sophomore year, when he'd been told, 
of course, that the pin-ripping happened 
to every pledge, was merely the final 
refinement of Hell Week, he had truly 
thought of him as brother. He knew 
they couldn't be friends. Money stood in 
the way, for one thing, and politics for 
another. Gole, like practically everybody 
else in the house, htup 
Hoover Republican. Anyone for. Roose- 
velt—in his view, New Dealer—was 
even money io be С.Р. So. you didn't 
talk about it. The fraternity code of 
courtesy was iron-hard. An occasional 
сга What's the late word from Mos- 
cow, Billy?" —vas OK, but anything seri- 
ous was dead out, Wengell might be a 
longhair, oddball, but he wore the pin, 
is father had worn the pin, and 
was that. Still, and knowing all this, 
Wengell sometimes wondered what he 
was doing there, much as he liked the 
place, much as it meant to him, an oasis 
of security for him, a stranger among 
people who believed utterly in every- 
thing he did not, people he was meant 
to love and who were meant to love 
him. 

Looking back, Wengell could remem- 
ber Cole taking over the drums for a 
set, and he could remember bumping 
into him at the bar, making room for 
him to come out with three glasses 
cach hand, but that was all. Everything 
happened afterward. It was the thing, 
after a party, to go to a bar, Terry's, а 
famous speak-casy in the old days and 
in time for the 
girls was 12:30, so it would be around 
one when everybody had got to Terry's 
and sunk a couple of her beers. (For good 
friends, she'd still drop in an ounce of A, 


rmed around 


was a strai 


and 


still run like one. Sig 


142 scooping it out of a round-bottomed bowl 


(continued [rom page 126) 


next to the sink.) Saturdays, the place 
was solid, practically back to back, a tight 
mix of the fraternity crowd, barbs, town 
people, an occasional instructor, usually 
economics, truck drivers, cops off duty, a 
few hustlers and a few more who might be. 
^ As nearly as he could remember alter 


ward, Wengell had been standing some- 
where around the middle of the room, 
his back to the bar, half а beer in 


his right hand, talking to no one, look 
ing at nothing in particular, when he 
felt a hand jammed inside his starched 
tight collar; instantly he was swung so 
hard the beer glass flew out of his hand, 
the collar popped, he spun, slid along 
the floor, turning, until he thumped 
against someone's knees. He got up fast, 


halfsobered by fear and fury. Sam 
Cole, glass of beer in his left hand, the 
collar in the other. They told Wengell, 


next day, that he'd gone out of control 
on the street, while they were trying to 
put him into the саг; but he knew it had 
happened then, when he saw the collar, 
because that was when the blackout 
ted. What happened then, they said, 
he ran at Cole, yelling, hit him twice, 
got knocked down instantly and was 
getting up when everybody swarmed in 
to stop it. It took four of them to get 
him into the car, a green Plymouth tour 
ing car with side curtains up. They car 


ried him into the house, undressed him, 
shoved him into a shower—he slumped 
in a corner of it—and turned it on full 


cold. When he began to shiver, they 
took him out, rubbed h dry, put hin 
pajamas and bathrobe. Halfway 
through this process, he tried to dive 
over the railing into the stair well. He 
didn't remember any of When he 
picked up the thread, he was sitt 
the couch in the music room and 
Cole was sitting at the other end. Sam 
talking. He seemed stone sober. He 
was speaking softly, placatingly. persua- 
sively, he was saying, “Look, Billy, I'm 
sorry, but you can sce how it happened, 
can't you? because after all . . . look, 
I'm really sorry...” After a bit, Billy 
began to think about the dog, Mrs. Mel 

vs dog. He turned off Sam Cole en 
trying to remember when 


g on 


am 


he'd gone out on the ice for the dog. 
how many days ago. When he had 
worked it out, one day, that day, that 


morning, he turned toward Sam Cole, 
who was looking down at his bare feet, 
and jumped for the door, the far side of 
the living room, just past the piano. He 
hit it running, it opened out, and he was 
on the porch. A hard tum left, and he 
came out from under the roof, there was 
ice on the floor there, he fell, crashed. 
the railings, but caught one of them, 
pulled hard, and was on the steps with- 


nto 


ll. He fel 


out having stopped 
velously strong and quick. At the bottom 
of the six steps. another turn, he fell 
again, up in the same motion, bouncing 
almost, jumped the other three steps and 
was on the lawn, the downslope straight 
to the lake, maybe 100 feet. Не half- 
turned for one look, Cole was six or seven 
feet behind him, he'd known somebody 
п fall twice, b 
rm, reach nowhere near 
getting him, and the others, behind Cole 
were hardly on the lawn. He could see the 
e now, and the strip of open water, black 
coal in the moonlight; he was going to 
e it, he knew just where he was going 
to leave his feet and dive, flat, he'd come 
up 20 feet out, under solid ice and 
snow, theyd mill around, yelling for 
shovels, but no hope, all done, and that 

seemed at the 
st he remembered. 


w 


there, he'd. heard hi 


a's was 


instant, was the 


He woke on a bottom bunk in the 
dormitory. It was morning, early, pale 
light. He was lying on his back. He 


raised his right hand to his face, or tried 
to: a loop of clothesline around it, under 
the bed, to his left wrist. A big без 
man, John Mellaston, sat on the next 
bunk, looking at him gravely, blankly. 

“Good morning, John,” Wengell said. 
‘Good morning, Billy.” 
You can untie me now, John. Fm all 
right now 

Mellaston shook his head, “I'm sorry, 
I can't,” he said. "We have to wait for 
one of the seniors to get up. Seven 
o'dock, Joel Kellogg said hed be up. 
Can I get you some orange juice or any- 
thing?" 

No, thanks." 

Joel Kellogg came around at seve 
ng, tying a bow in the 
bathrobe 


he 


"Are you all right now, Billy? 
said. 
I've got a hangover that would kill 


d, “but Fm 


Siberian goat,” Wengell 
all right.” 

“No more of this foolishness?” Kel- 
logg said. “I've got your word? Because 
Tm responsible. 

Мо more," Wengell said. “1 
have been out of my mind. 

Kellogg nodded gravely to Mellaston. 
He couldn't untie the knots. He went off 
and found a knife somewhere. 

"Do you know what happened 
Wengell asked him. 

“Well, just at the end 1 do," Mellas- 
ton said. "Sam saw he wasn't going to 
catch you, so he dove for your knees, a 
real old-fashioned fying tackle; d 
when you hit the ground, you were 
knocked out cold. You never did come 
to, but they got some med student. from 
next door to look at you. He said you 
were OK, so they tied you in bed. Jerry 

(continued on page 176) 


must 


whats your 


ж 


? 


* (sexual quotient) 


a TESI KIM р test to help you assess your libidinal personality 


Be of (Ml 
whe 4 d © 


эрер. 
—- E f E E Ê o 
| LLLI LCR Ti 


2m 
тт 


а 


SEX IS NOT ONLY тик MOTOR but also the 
navigator of the human psyche. A man's 
love life—whether he be single or mar- 
ried—is intimately related to his business. 
career, to his social pastimes and even 
to the car he drives. In the current jar- 
gon of the social sciences, it can be said 
that the games you play in bed are 
structurally similar to the games you 
play in every arena of your life. Thus, 
your profile approximates the 
contours of your entire personality. The 
purpose of this self scoring questionnaire 
is to give you a better knowledge of your 


sexual 


sexual self and, through that, a deeper 
ht into your toral self. 

These questions set up what are tech- 
nically known as interpersonal transac- 
tions, In every case, you are given three 
choices, and cach choice can be consid- 
ered a move in the game of your life. 
The types of choices you make will indi- 
cate the kind of "game" you are playing 
most of the time. 

Be sure to answer every one of the 54 
multiple-choice questions by checking 
one of the answers, and ignore the 
apparently inconsistent order of a's, b's 
and c's that precede the choices; their 


Zam 


85 | 
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BGR BIN el BE 
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PHOTOGRAPHIC ILLUSTRATION BY WILLIAM LARSON 


significance will be explained at the end 
of the questions in a series of three pro- 
files, which should not be looked at before 
you complete the test. The reason for the 
seemingly random order of questions, 
which jump back and forth among vari 
ous subjects (such as job. sex, money, єгє.), 
is to keep you just а bit off balance, so 
that your responses will have a spon- 
tancity they might lack if you were "pre- 
ser" for a batch of questions on a single 
topic. OF course, as in all such tests, you 
will often find that none of the three 
choices seems (continued on page 152) 349 


THERE WAS ONCE a young woman whose 
generous nature caused her to be more 
loving than discreet. 

She was also very beautiful, and this 
fact was observed one day by a hand- 
some stranger, who came upon her as 
she was bending over to lift her brim- 
ming pitcher from the well. 

The sight of her charms inflamed 
him, but he spoke softly and insisted оп 
helping her with her load, which sur- 
prised her greatly, since it was not the 
custom of her country for men to help 
women with their burdens, but rather to 
strive to give them a new burden to carry 
that no man can bear for them. 

This, too, the stranger in due course 
contrived to do—but only after dalliance 
of such pleasure that she asked herself if 
he were, indeed, a man or a god. 

Then he disappeared, as if by magic: 
but whether this proved him to be a 
spirit is open to question, for it is true 
that ordinary men have also disappeared 
swiftly, le: maiden in just 
such 2 plight. 

Be that as it may, when she bore a 
son, she proudly set out to bring him up 
by herself, telling him only that his fa- 
ther was no ordinary man, and he, there- 
fore, no ordinary boy. Nevertheless, she 
was surprised and dismayed when he 
proved to her how far from ordinary he 
wis 


Now, many men came to court her 
because of her beauty. And the woman, 
whose name was Hripsima. greeted them 
with eagerness. "I have slept alone too 
Jong!" she thought. 

One man was greatly entranced by 
the curve of her full hips as she bent to 
tuck the boy in his bed. When she 
turned, he placed a pendant around her 
neck and gazed at the spot where it 
swayed between her snowy breast 

“As soon as the boy is asleep,” he 
thought, "L will put my lips where the 
pendant hangs" And the swift rise 
and fall of Hripsima's bosom told him 
that surely he would not be forbidde 

But the boys voice came from his 
trundle bed. “Why do you not give my 
mother the matching ring you took from 
the goldsmith's daughter?" 

“What ring?" blustered the man, but 
so much discomfited was he by the 
question that he rode away and never 
came back. 

‘The next man who came was tall and. 
lusty and. claimed to have eyes for no 
опе but Hripsima. Hripsima's breath 
came quickly, for she remembered. the 
delight she had known with the man 
who had seemed like a god. “This man 
is built in the same way," she thought, 

ind il I do not test his powers, I will 
surely die!" 

But the boy refused to go to sleep. 
"Why do you visit the baker's wife 
when the baker is away?” he asked the 
Is it not dangerous? For one 
the baker will return home and catch you 
in bed and he will be very angry." 

"This boy knows too much!" thought 
the шап, “Не would always give me 
away!” And deflated in spirit al in 
fact, he rode away, never to return. 

Then Hripsima suffered as a young 


Ribald Classic 
the mysterious lover 


from an Armenian folk tale 


have been aroused and the rem 
hand has been snatched away. ^ 
have to lie alone forever?" she wor 
dered, tossing in hed; bur to the boy she 
said only, “Am I never to have a hus 
band? Alis, you know too much! 

"Then the boy tried to comfort her. "I 
can't help it, Mother,” he said. “Just 
be patient and one day there will be a 
man who is not afraid 

One day the Lord Chamberlain himself 
came to woo her. He was almost as rich 
and as handsome as the king himself, 
and the mother thought, “Оһ, be silent 
my son! For perhaps this is the one for 
me! 


n, for he believed no one sus- 
pected his liaison. The lady had retired 
to the home of her parents. 

"The one who will bear a son in three 
weeks,” said the boy, “with a crooked 
toe just like yours.” 

Now, the Chamberlain knew the boy 
had never seen him with his shoes off. 
so he was much perplexed. “This is no 
stepson for me!" he thought. “Though 
he longed to hold the beautiful Hripsi- 


ma in his arms and could sce how she 
longed to be held, he, too, was afraid 
nd returned to the palace. But he 


could not stop thinking of the boy's 
words. "We shall see," he said. 

Sure enough, in three weeks’ time his 
former mistress bore a son; and when he 
stole to her house at night to see the 
baby, he saw that the child had one 
crooked toe just like his. He went back 
to the palace filled with "meni 

"How could the boy know that?” he 
marveled. 

Now, that day a fisherman in the 
town caught a very beautiful fish and, 
because it was so unusual, decided to 
take it to the king. The king. seeing the 
fins like golden wings, ordered his serv- 
ams to tke it to the queen. So the fish 
was placed on a golden platter, and the 
servants knocked on the queen's door 


1 said. "We have a fish the king has 
sked us to bring to yo 

The queen, who was not ready to 
open her door, sought delay. “Is it a 
male or a female?” she asked. 

Then the servants were amazed to see 
the fish jump up and down on the 
platter and roll with laughter. They ran 
with it to the king, who called in all his 
wise men and asked them what this 
meant. “Tell me why that fish is jump- 
ng up and down and rolling with 
laughter!" he demanded. 

The wise men had no answer, but the 
Lord Chamberlain stepped Ѓогу 
said. “Your Majesty. 1 know of so 
who might answer your question 
he said he knew of a young boy who 
seemed to possess rare knowledge—but 
he did not say what that knowledge 
w. 


‘Send for him at once!" ordered the 
ing. 

"The boy walked boldly into the king's 
throne room, but his mother, hearin 
where he had been taken, came rushing 
[ter him, terrified that his strange gilt 
about to bring doom upon him, She 
looked so beautiful, with her scarf pulled 
too hastily across her heaving bosom, that 
the king almost forgot about the antics of 
the fish 

The kings Chamberlain stepped for 

ward. “Tell us why this fish is acting so 
strangely,” he demanded. 
I will certainly tell you 
Cis ien i Des xp бу, adios vb d 
tressed, for fear you may become angry 
with mc. Can you promise not to get 
angry, no matter what I do or say?” 

The mother fixed her melting eyes 
эп the king and he agreed. 

Very well, the boy. 
Send guards to the queen's room and 
bring forth the queen's forty maids: 

This was done. “Now unclothe them.” 
said the boy. The guards hesitated, for 
surely they had never before been told 
to disrobe 40 maidens in public. But the 
king nodded and they began to unclothe 
the maids. All the people of the court 
gasped and watched cagerly. What w 
their dismay when they saw that the 
maids were not maids at all but hand- 
some young men! Then the anger of 
the king was a terrible thing to behold. 

“Your Majesty,” the boy said calmly. 

“the fish laughed and rolled from side to 
side because it is only a fish and it does 
really matter which sex it is. But the 
already had forty males in her 
aud this being so. was it not ridic- 
ulous for her to be concerned with the 
x o a fish? 
The mother trembled, for fear the 
king's anger would turn on her son. But 
his rage lasted only while the queen was 
led away to meet the fate ordained by 
custom for an unfaithful royal wile 
Then he turned to the boy's mother. 

The gods are good,” he said, "that 
they deprive me of а false woman only 
when they have brought a true and 
beautiful one before me." 

Then he made Hripsima his queen 
and proved to her many times over, to 
her ever-increasing delight, that he, too, 
could play the par of a god 


u 


queen 


—Retold by Kenneth Marcuse Ж) 151 


PLAYBOY 


152 


sexual GULEN (continued from page 119) 


suitable to you. The reason is simple: 
We are all, in the final analysis, indi 
uals; and a test of this sort is only capable 
of pinpointing psychosexual prototypes. 
When you encounter such a question, 
accept the answer that seems least un- 
likely. If all three still seem unacceptable, 
look at them again; you'll probably find 
that one is a little less alien to you than. 
the two others. Choose it by checking its 


letter designation. 


1. You generally think that sex: 

a. Is for enjoyment, and there is no 
reason to deny i 

b. Is like playing with dynamite, and 
you have to be careful. 

с. Is a sacred act that should be re- 
served primarily for procreation. 


2. Yo 


e just lost your job, and the 


morgage on your condominium will be 
foreclosed if you don't find another job 


salary and interest. In choosing between 
them, your chief concern would be: 

a. Which one offers more power and 
prestige. 

b. Which one is more compatible with 
your personal abilities, so that you could 
fit into it snugly for long-term securit 

c, Whether one of them 
promise important moral pi 


3. You have been hired and now you 
must submit your first important picce 
of work to your supervisor. While you 
wait for his response: 

c. You feel some resentment that you 
are being judged by a man who might 
be, in fact, less capable than you. 

b. You are afraid that he isn’t go 
to be very satisfied with what you have 
offered. 

a. You wait for him 

ised with the outs 


to be pleasantly 
anding job you 


4. You've been on your new jeb for about 
a month but you haven't yet been invited 
to lunch by your co-workers, You find 
yourself think 

b. “What have I done wrong? I must 
have gooled somewhere.” 

a. "They're probably afraid of me. My 
abilities and accomplishments threaten 
them." 

c. "I should 
anyway?" 


е. Who needs them, 


5. At home alone, you turn on your FM 


set and hear a love ballad by a sultry 
female singer. 
a. You imagine that she is singing to 


you and think happily of the times 
women have becn in love with you. 

c. You hardly listen to it, because this 
kind of sentimentality is a little tco syr- 
upy to be palatabl 

b. You feel an inexplicable sense of 
loneliness and sadness. 


6. You've just gotten home from work 
and have a half hour to get ready to 
k up your date for dinner. You look 
the bathroom mirror and: 

c. You do whatever has to be done 
(wash up, comb your hair, shave, etc.), 
without thinking much about your basic 
appearance. 


b. You wish you were more hand- 


some and a little thinner (or heavier). 
а. You are satisfied that you're better- 
looking than most guys. 


7. You are attending a reception at the 
opening of 2 modern art gallery, where 
most of the guests are prominent mem- 
bers of local society or strangers to you. 

b. You try not to appear pushy or 
conspicuous. 

a. You are eager to make a good 
impression and show them what a witty 
and brilliant conversationalist you are. 

c. You feel that these people are rath- 
er shallow and not really very interesting. 


h а mem- 


8. When you share a bed w 
ber of the opposite sex: 

a. You sleep in the nude, because this 
maximizes the possibility of repeated 
coitus. Besides, the body is not meant to 
be covered up all the time. 

b. You wear paja You always 
have and you always will. Don't most 
people? 

c. You sleep in your underwear. This 
way, it is easier to get going the next 
morning. 


mas, 


9. You are at a party and your date 
walks out on the balcony with a male 
guest. You sce her mated conver- 
sation for a long period of time. 
You wonder what she sees in 


the 


clod. 

c. It doesn’t bother you too much, 

b. You feel somewhat deserted and 
console yourself with a few extra drinks. 


10. when another man backs his bi 
sedan imo the space where you had 
planned io slip your sports car: 

c You are disturbed by the injustice, 
but refuse to make a public spectacle by 
reling about 

b. You move on, because he may 
have started turning in before you did. 
You immediately protest and de- 
mand that he move on. 


qu 


11. Modern sex manuals emphasize the 
importance of foreplay i 
the woman's sexual pleasure: 

a. You consider this a challenge and 
look forward to further elaborations in 
your sexual repertoire. 


what anxious, since it places tremendous 
responsibility on the male partner. 

c. Yon sometimes resent this kind of 
pressure, convinced that the capacity of 
а woman to reach orgasm has as much 
to do with her as with you. 


12. You're in an automobile showroom, 
trying to make up your mind about buy- 
ing a new car. Your primary concern is: 

a. How smart and sporty the car 
looks. 

b. How much it costs. 

с. Whether or not you really need a 
new car, 


13. When you're ready to settle down, 
you will pick your wife primarily on the 
basis of: 

a. How well she stands out in the 
crowd and can rise with you as you 
climb the ladder of success. 

b. Whether you think she will take 
good care of you and your children. 

c. Whether she thinks seriously about 
the important issues of our time. 


14. It's your first date with an attractive 
girl, When you take her back to her 
apartment, she invites you in and then 
changes into “something more comfort- 
able," making it very clear what she has 
in mind. Your first thought i 

b. You are pleased but wonder if she’s 
really a sincere person. 

a. You are delighted at this proof of 
your own sex appeal. 
c. You feel a little uncomfortable, be- 
use a woman shouldn't make the first 
overture. 


ca 


15. When you think of your childhood, 
1y у 

you find it most pleasing to remember 

th: 


b. Your parents usually let you have 
your own way if you insisted. 

c. You were always appropriately re- 
warded by your parents when you were 
a good boy. 

a. You were usually the center of at- 
tention at home. 


16. On the night before an examination, 
there is a power failure throughout your 
‘There is no way in whidi you can 
finish preparing for the exam, but the 
next day you take it anyway. You don't do 
а very good job. Afterward, you think to 
yoursel 

c. “The power failure is no excuse. I 
should have studied harder throughout 
the semester.” 
‘Obviously, I would have done much 
better if it hadn't been for circumstances 
that were beyond my control.” 

b. "Even if there had been no power 
failure, I don't suppose I would have 
done that much better.” 


an 


Eh 


17. During sexual intercourse, уо! 
concerned that: 


are 


(continued on page 158) 


A PLAYBOY PAD: 


HIGH LIFE IN THE ROUND 


perched midst sun valleys slopes, this skiers minicastle also serves as a summertime retreat 


modern living кок MOST ski ENTHUSIASTS, a trek to their favorite slope is an undertaking that should be planned 
weeks or months in advance; for bachelor John Koppes, the lifts are but à two-minute walk from his front door. Koppes, 
who is president of the Precision Ski Pole Manufacturing Corporation, tried most of the major runs in Europe and 
North and South America before deciding to build his dream pad in Sun Valley, Idaho, at the base of Baldy Mountain, 
Seen from nearby Warm Springs Road, Koppes’ rock-bound domain has the formidable look of a medieval keep; seen 
from inside, it's a masculine, five-level hideaway that houses a surprise at every turn of its spiral staircase. The front door 
is at the second level; inside, one sees three pie-shaped tiers, separated by low built-in storage units, winding skyward to 
a Plexiglas dome that floods the tower with light during the day and becomes a romantic focal point at night. Additional 
light filters through 26 fortressstyle window slits set at random heights in the wall. 

Skis, poles, coats and boots are stashed in compartments by the front door. "I keep the place a no-shoes house,” 
says Koppes, who has carpeted the rooms above with thick, white pile [rom wall to wall. At the bottom of Koppes’ cas- 
tle is а ground-floor study with double doors that can be left open in summer to catch the mountain breezes. But the 
heart of the house is the fourth-level living room, with its adjoining cantilevered sun deck, which offers a spectacular view 
of the Sawtooth Range. Up three steps from here is the bedroom and down three steps is the kitchen, “I designed the 
house so that builtins would serve a dual purpose,” Koppes points out, “Cabinets in the kitchen are just the right 


Koppes' pad winds upward 
through five levels to a 
domed Plexiglas skylight. 
Mounted in it is a rheostat- 
operated indirect light con- 
trolled from a bedside 
switch. The house's heating 
system is as unique as ils 
shape. Hot water, piped 
in from a nearby natural 
spring, runs through a net- 
work of tubes embedded in 
the walls, roof and ground 
floor—radiating warmth 
throughout all the levels — 
thus eliminating any cold 
spots. The hot-water pipes 
in the roof also melt snow. 
A Marimekko fabric has 
been mounted on the wall 
over the bed as a color 
accent, A world traveler, 
Koppes installed а lighted 
globe in the living room's 
bookcase. At the base of 
the case, he stores cushions 
that guests use in place 
of chairs. Draftsman-type 
lamps are mounted to bı 
ins, eliminating the need 
for unsightly electric cords. 
Housekeeping is super- 
simple; the tower has an 
in-the-wall vacuum-cleaner 
systemthat empties intoa bin 
located on the ground level. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY FLETCHER м 


ЇШП WT d 


|" 
Ш 
i 


height to be used as the back of a living-room couch, one flight up; 
and there's storage space [or magazines below the couch seats, so I 
don't need a coffee table. 


Most of the furnishings were custom-made 
to fit the unique dimensions of his compact kingdom in the round, 
which is 26 feet high and 24 feet in diameter. Even the interior side 
of the foot-thick wall required a novel finishing touch: It was 
sprayed with polyurethane foam—to keep out the cold—and then 
painted white. After furnishing his digs, Koppes discovered that when 
hi-fi speakers in the bedroom and living room are switched on, the 
insulated. walls plus the pad's silo shape turn the tower into a 
sound chamber and all levels of the house are filled with music. 

Apiésski parties find Koppes loading up the bedside turntable 
with LPs and then moving to the kitchen, where there's a built-in 
bar at the back of the dining nook. He can pass drinks up from the 
kitchen to the living room—where guests invariably congregate 
around an old mining boiler that's been converted into a fireplace. 
or step down to the entranceway to greet more merrymakers as they 
arrive. 

Since Koppes’ ski-pole business is seasonal, he spends part of the 
spring and summer traveling, using the house then as a weekend 
retreat before taking off again in either his Porsche 911 or his Mini- 
Cooper S. While he’s away, his Sun Valley minicastle stands solid 
as a rock, waiting for the high times the next snow season will bring. 


Above: А dome's-eye view of Koppes’ multilevel kingdom. The bedroom, 
living room, kitchen and entrance foyer all share the same ceiling; other 
areas, including a darkroom, are separate and enclesed. Right: A 
floor plan of the five tiers, showing their position around a central pole, 


й 


3" = Mo - 


155 


156 


Above: A well-tanned visitor takes an au naturel dip in Koppes' five-foot-deep sunken tub in the second-level bath- 
room. After emerging, she can lower a slat trap door across the water surface; the space can then be used for toweling 
off or as a shower stall. Below: An early arrival at a Koppes party languidly watches him finish dressing for the eve- 
ning's festivities. Koppes can regulate the lights and hi-fi as well as keep tabs on the time and weather and answer 
the phone from the handy control panel by the bed. He stores his hi-fi components and record collection in a custom- 
made built-in cabinet that fits the curvature of the wall. Opposite, top: With the lights turned low, Koppes and guests 
relax in the living room. Logs for the old mining boiler that's been converted to a fireplace are stashed out of the 
way in a special compartment next to the bookcase. Bottom: At sundown, light from the 26 window slits—some of 
which are casements—glistens on freshly fallen snow. The double doors at ground-floor level open into Koppes' study. 


PLAYBOY 


Ise cult for you to и 


sexual ОШОН continued from page 152) 


a. You are performing as well as oth- 
ers your partner has known. 


b. You do not have a premature 
ejaculation. 
c. You not be able to maintain 


your erection. 


18. You were planning to play golf. ta- 
day, but your wife reminds you that 
you've promised ta babysit while she 
attends her drama dass. You give in, 
because: 

a. You want to show her what a good 
guy you are. 

c. A promise is a promise. 

b. You don't want to start an argu- 
ment. 


19. You think you've found a way to 
save your company hundreds of tho 
sands of dollars a year. When you sul 
mit the plan to your supervisor, he says 
curtly that it can't work. Your immedi- 
ate reaction i: 

b. Humiliation for a 
fool of yourself; obviously, he wouldn't 
be your supervisor if he didn't know the 
company's problems beter than you 

c. А quict determination to take the 
plan to a higher level of adminis 
tion, where it will be considered more 
objectively. 

a. Anger because he is obvi 
pid and incompetent. 


usly stu- 


20. Over lunch, your friends start talk- 
ing excitedly about a асди: 
ance who has been nominated to the city 


reminded of your own com- 
paratively insig x kved of achieve- 
ment. 
. You feel you have as much on the 
ball as he does. 

c. You feel constrained to point out 
certain defects in this man, who is al- 
most certainly a bit of an opportunist. 


21. Your main reason for having chosen 
your current girlfriend is: 

a. People are impressed when you 
appear in public with such a beautiful 
girl. 

c. She makes few demands on you 
and doesn't get you too involved. 

b. She is very loyal to vou and builds 
you up when you're feeling low. 


22. Ог the following values, the most 
important to you is: 
nd simple, and why 


a. Success, pure 


b. The lave and friendship of people 
you care about. 
. Maintaining your integrity in this 


unscrupulous age. 


пе that sexual interest 
iage. This is not difi- 
derstand, because: 


23. It's often п 


wanes during ma 


а. Familiarity tends to breed indiffer- 
ence. 
b. In time, all energies, including the 


sexual, diminish, 
c. There is much more to ma 
than sex. 


jed life 


24. In a discussion of the upcoming 
Presidential election, you reveal your 
preference for a particular candidate. To 
your surprise, none of your friends agree 
with you; several of them look as if they 
have just revised their opinion of your 
intelligence several notches downward. 

b. You wish you had kept your 
mouth shut and vow that in the future, 
you will remember the old saying about 
never discussing politics or religion. 

с. You summon up a string of very 
strong points, enumerating them on 
your fngers and crush their point of 
view thoroughly. 

a. You think you are a Jot hipper 
than these people. 


25. Your fiancée informs you that she'd 
like to continue her professional carcer 
alter е. 

с. You are not entirely pleased, but 
you go along with her decision, because 
you believe in fairness and equality for 
women. 

a. You like the idea, because it will 
show everybody that vour wife is a mast 
unusual and talented girl. 

b. You feel that this may rellect oi 
your ability as а breadwinner, but you 
go along with it, because two salaries 
are obviously better than one. 


mania 


26. Right alter sexual intercourse, you 
reach reflexively for your cigarettes on 
the bedside table. Your partner, a non- 
smoker, rebukes you with, "Do you really 
need that? 

с. You accept the rebuke, reminding 
yourself of how many times you have 
vowed to give up smoking, 

b. You accept the rebuke and wonder 
further if the sudden criticism reflects 
an unspoken dissatisfaction with your 
sexual performance. 

a. You wonder if your breath is both- 
ering her and decide to buy a breath 
sweetener. 


27. After a full day on the slopes, you 
put on a brand-new aprésski outfit and 
enter the lodge's crowded cocktail lounge. 

b. You find yourself wondering im- 
mediately if the new outfit makes you 
stand out too much. 

a. You feel pretty sure that several of 
the women are immediately interested 
in you 

c. You find most of the people drunk 
and noisy and wish you were back on 
the slopes perfecting your form. 


28. After going with a girl for several 
months, you sense that she's lost interest 
and hear that she's been making it with 
another guy. 

b. You feel deserted. 

с. You hope people won't think she 
dropped you because of some hidden 
flaw in vour character. 

a. You are sure that sooner or later, 
she'll rue the da 


29. Your girl tells you, at length, that 
she thinks the only men who get ahead 
n the world are those who aren't afraid 
to be aggressive and pushy. 

a. You agree and admit that you act 
that way a good deal of the time. 

b. You're repelled at the idea and 
wonder if her remarks are an implied 
put-down of your cwn considerate, lair- 
minded behavior. 

с. You tend to agree, but explain that 
a man has to be careful not to acquire a 
reputation for this kind of behavior. 


30. A Iittletheater group has been 
formed in your community. You're asked 
to join and you reflect: 

c You might do rather well as a 
director. 

a. It would be fun to try your hand 
at acting. 

b. You could help behind the scenes. 


31, After intercourse, you generall 

а. Roll over and fall asleep. 

b. Have a cigarette or raid the refrig- 
erator. 

с. Open a book and read until you fall 
asleep. 


32. You want to make a favorable im- 
pression on a young lovely in your office. 
The qualities you try to project are: 

b. Friendliness and helpfulness. 

c. Integrity and sincerity. 

a. Virility and charm. 


33. Your dosest friends and associates, if 
ing choices, would de 


minded. 
a. A born leader and a real nice guy. 
b. A good guy who lets himself be 
pushed around by other people. 


34. You receive a letter. from the IRS 


enter the office, you notice that your hi 
is beating faster and your palms are 


sweaty. 
a. This is a natural reaction, you 
figure, but you most certainly aren't 


gaing to let them notice it. 

b. You hope that the official you deal 
with will notice this distress and be as 
easy as possible on you. 

€. You're furious with yourself for this 


“Relax, folks—I don’t work for anybody's 
husband, I just do it for kicks.” 


159 


PLAYEROY 


160 


infantile reaction and determine 10 keep 
yourself under icy control while you prove 
that the mistake was made by the tax 
people, not by you. 


35. You feel most unhappy when you're 
forced into a situation where: 

a. You're alone in a new environment 
and nobody is paying any attention to 
you. 

c. You've done something you know is 
reprehensible and selfish. 

b. You are expected to perform above 
the capacities you actually possess. 


36. Your fiancée insists that you wear a 
wedding ring after you're married. 

b. You like the idea and suggest 
matching wedding bands for both of you. 

a. You begin looking around for an 
unusual wedding band that will catch 
people's attention. 

c. You rebel inwardly and probably 
will end up bluntly refusing. 


37. You and your new wife are about to 
move into your first apartment, In think- 
ing about the kind of bed to purchase, 
you find that you would much prefer: 

a. One that is king-size, because you 
like doing everything in an wninhibited 
way and you would like this reflected in 
your bedroom furnishings. 

b. А regular-size double bed, because 
you enjoy the feeling of closeness and 
contact. 

с. Any bed whose construction will 
guarantee a good night's slecp. 


38. You would preler to have an affair 
with a girl who: 

a. Never seemed to find any faults to 
criticize in you. 

b. Never caused you to find any scri- 
ous faults in her. 

c. Had some faults but was wil 
be changed by you. 


ing to 


39. Somebody who dislikes you has said. 
an unkind thing about you that had a 
small clement of truth in it. It could 
have been: 

a. You are extremely conceited and 
act like a know-itall. 

c. You are a thoroughly humorless 
stuffed. shirt. 

b. Yowre always asking other people 
to make your decisions for you. 


40. At lunchtime, your co-workers get 
ated discussion about the war 
Vietnam. 

b. You wait to see which way the 
wind is blowing before venturing an 
nion of your own, since you would 
rather not antagonize anyone. 

a, You express your own opinion very 
strongly and try to take over the conver- 
sation in order to straighten out the 
misunderstandings. 

c You have mixed feelings about 


the issue, but mainly you are 
ful of the fact that everybody is talking 
emotionally rather than reasonably. 


41. After an office party, you took home 
a girl you don't care much about, who 
was quite stoned. You had intercourse, 
but have ignored her ever since, and 
you are feeling guilty whenever she 
looks longingly at you. 

b. This guilt occasionally becomes 
almost intolerable and you finally take 
the girl to lunch, so she won't feel quite 
so rejected. 

a. You can handle the guilt, but you 
hope that others at the office don’t find 
out what you've done 

c. You decide that guilt is just the price. 
you have to pay for being a generally 
scrupulous and sensitive person. 


42. If your marriage is a failure, it will 
be because: 

a. Sexually, one wor 
enough for you. 

b. Your wife will eventually tire of 
you. 

с. Modern women are flighty and un- 
dependable. 


n won't be 


43. 1f your marriage is a success, it will 
be because: 

b. You're big enough to compromise 
in order to maintain a loving relation- 
ship. 

c. You ick a wife who has the 
qualities you demand in a mate; and, in 
turn, you will never let her down in any 
way. 

a. A reasonable guy 
way to patch up a conflict 
charm and keeps his head. 


an always find a 
he uses his 


44, After a party, you find that the host 
is rather cool whenever you meet, and 
you don't know why. 

c. You're peeved, feeling that it's his 
move; he should either confront you 
with a complaint or stop sulking. 

b. You imagine that you must have 
done something very foolish. 

a. You confont him and say, "Tli 
apologize, if you really have some legiti- 
mate beef against me. Let's hear it.” 


45. You have received a card from your 
dentist, notifying you that you are due 
for your regular checkup. 

. You make an appointment, be- 
cause you don’t want to be like those 
people who start losing their teeth dur- 
ing middle age. 

с. You make an appointment, because 
you want to be a good example to your 
children. 

b. You promise yourself that you'll call 
for an appointment, but somchow it keeps 
pping your mind. 


46. During the first six months of an 
айай 

a. You and your girl try all the Kama 
Sutra ions. 

b. You try sexual experimentation only 
if the girl hints strongly that she wants 
such diversity. 

c. You never deviate from the normal 
and proper coital position. 


47. You have been admitted to a top- 
drawer fraternity and, in thinking about 
the impression you will make on your 
fellow Greeks, you are most concerned 
with projecting: 

c. Sincerity and integrity. 

а. Leadership qualities, together with 
good sportsmanship. 

b. Friendliness 


affability. 


48. You have moved into a new high- 
rise aparument. As you become ас 
quainied with your neighbors, you [eel 
that most of them: 

b. Have more on the ball than you, 
and know it. 

a. Are favorably impressed with your 
good qualities. 

с. Are not really serious or sincere. 


49. You've charmed your best fricnd's 
girl away. In retrospect: 

b. You feel guilty. even though you 
couldn't help it. 

с. You blame yourself, sometimes un- 
mercifully. 

а. You try to make sure everybody 
knows jou acted fairly and weren't 
underhanded. 


50. A dose friend has done something 
to make you angry and you want to tell 
him so. 

à. You do it without hesitation but 
leave a bridge over which a reconcilia- 
tion can later be forged. 

c. You make sure before you act that 
your anger is justified by your principles 
rather than mere selfishness, 

b. You try to avoid the confrontation; 
but if you can't, you make sure the oth- 
er person realizes that he has hurt you 
badly and that you're легу sony that 
you have tu act the sume way in self- 
defense, 


51. Your girlfriend expresses great ad- 
miration for a virile movie star. 

a. You tell her that everybody knows 
he's actually a homosexual in real life. 

b. You wish you had the same kind 
of magnetic personality he has. 

c. You think she's just a little bit silly 
to be impressed by a man whose real 
character she doesn't even know. 


52. If you chose a career in the sciences, 
you would most likely prefer: 

a. An admi ive post in a scien- 
tific foundation, dealing mostly with 
management. personnel. 

b. Medicine, social work or some other 


PLAYBOY 


162 and sod 


profession in which you can help people. 
с. The hard sciences (such as phys- 
in which you deal with facts. 


Your attitude toward hippies i 
а. Tolerant but a little amused. 
b. Sympathetic; the poor kids are just 

reacting to an inhuman world, 

c Critical; a good talkingto and a 
bath would probably straighten them 
out. 


54. Some of your neighbors engage in 
mate swapping. You know you can get 
in on the action any time by drop] 
hii 


t. 
а. You're tempted; and if you refra 
ngers of a scandal 
that might hurt your business carcer. 

b. You're tempted, but refrain because 
it would threaten the stability of your 
current relationship. 

c. You refrain, because that type of 
behavior is sick 


Now add up the number of a's, b's 
and cs and plot them on the following 


graph. 


For instance, if you score 37 a's, 11 
b's and 6 cs, your graph will look like 
this: 


Any such lopsided personality profile 
means that you are in a bag. You are 
overly committed to one set of attitudes 
sexual “games.” An ideally 


flexible and self-aware personality would 
tend to have a more rounded and sym- 
metrical profile, such as this: 


a 


Few people are this well balanced; so 
you needn't run to a shrink if your pro- 
file is lopsided. But life presents us with 
a continuous series of challenges, cach 
requiring its own solution; and any one- 
sided individual will tend unconsciously 
to react to each situation with the same 
basic strategy, thereby making 
sponses inappropriate much of the time. 
A rounded personality profile indicates 
the flexi ty to deal realistically with a 
wider variety of psychosexual situations, 
rather than falling back on a patterned, 
rigid response that may not apply. Con- 
fucius and Aristotle described such a 
man as following “the middle path” or 
“the golden mean." Modem psychology 
describes him as the “self-actualizing: 
personality." 

If you are hung up in a particular 
area of the circular graph, the following 
yses will tell you a great deal about 
yourself, OF course, you will reject much 
of this information; and partly, you will 
be right—you are an individual, not a 
category. But partly, you will be kidding 
yourscli, since мете all reluctant or 


unable to recognize our own hang-ups. 
The value of this text to you will depend 
entirely on your ability to ask yourself 


honestly—when you rebel against a state- 
ment in the following profiles—whether 
your disbelief is genuine rather than 
merely an evasion of an unpleasant real- 
ity. Finally, bear in mind that if these 
profiles seem unduly judgmental, 
Decause they emphasize the 
spects of cach type. 


‘TYPE A 

Freudians describe this type of man 
as a Don Ju 
In mare popul 
lady-killer, the fellow cnviously known 
among his friends as “the makeout art- 
i ngly, many women find 
his charm imesistible—not that he was 
born an Adonis but because he works at 
it, and his machinations can be Machia- 
vellian. To further enhance his image as 


a great lover, he consciously seeks clues 
to improved sexual performance in mar- 
riage manuals and erotica. 

Nevertheless, he has a basic problem 
with women (and with his male friends: 
and co-workers, too). His perspective is 
godlike and it causes him to sce other 
people as satellites of himself. Probably, 
many women from his past remember 
this aspect of him and say bitterly, “Be- 
hind all that charm, he's the world's 
most self-centered son of a bitch.” "They 
don't realize that his egoism is really а 
manifestation of basic inner insccurity. 
His is not a normal wish to be loved 
and admired; he compulsively needs 
these responses. This is the spark that 
starts his motor and, lacking it, he tends 
to stall and become unproductive. mean- 
while achieving glory in the substitute 
world of fantasies and daydreams—which 
may become more important to him than 
reality. 

‘This need for admiration colors every 
aspect of his life. Moreover, he is as 
comfortable with leadership as fish are 
with water; under the best of circum- 
stances, he can rise to heroic stature. 
Even in more mundane situations, he 
tends 10 take charge, and others expect 
of him. Unfortunately, this tendency 
I'm the king of the castle” can 
nd he might be 
found, like Achilles, sulking in his tent 
on the eve of battle because he hasn't 

ated. Or he can 


sccking adulation through all mcans, fair 
and foul—just as long as the reward is 
immediate, for postponed gratification is 
intolerable to hi 

Thus, he has the potential to rise rap- 
idly in the corporate structure of modern 
America, eagerly accepting new responsi 
bilities and performing very creditably as 
long as his superiors reward him with 
raises and praises and his subordinates 
seem genuinely convinced of his excel- 
lence. But he can also lead his depart- 
ment, or his whole company, into a fiasco, 
because those under hím will be exuemely 
reluctant to pass on bad news when it 
reflects on his previous judgments: "They 
are much more aware of his sensitivity to 
aiticism than he himself is. 

He will be loath to recognize these 
weaknesses, for he is the man who never 
admits to having any neurotic clements 
in his personality. If he ever lands on 
the psychiatrist's couch, it will happen 
in middle age—probably because his 
anxieties have manifested themselves phys- 
ically, causing some stubborn symptom 
that his medical doctor recognizes as 
psychosomatic. Migraine headache is th 
most common route by which Type A 
individuals arrive in psychotherapy; but 
they usually quit before any great insight 
gained, convinced that their shrinks 
don't know what they're talking about 
This is a typical Type A defense against 
anybody who ties to make him take a 


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honest look at himself. 
ial climbing is functionally re- 
lated to his sexual bed hopping. Just as 
success in a given job immediately turns 
his mind to seeking a better posi 
with still more power and pre: 
excitement of sexual pursuit 
much to hi he is likely to feel let 
down alter each conquest and quickly 
seek a new challenge. He is, therefore, 
the bachelor par excellence, Sex to him 
is more the search for a better orgasm 
than the search for a better sexual part- 
ner, He will seek multiorgasmic women 
and will take great delight in the num- 
ber of times he can bring them to cli- 
max, since this proves his manl 
prowess. (Oddly enough, were he a homo- 
sexual, he would be the sw 
of all, turning y in 
kind of fetish he now makes of 
In both cases, what is being acted 
out is not so much a gender role as just 

ain exhibitionism.) Type A tends to 
ndulge in sexual athleticism—especially 
in his youth—and, characeristically, 
boasts about this to the envy of his 
ids. Because of his need to 
s sexual exploits, Kiss and. 
Tell is one of his favorite games. 

For the same exhibitionistic reasons, 
he prefers to have sex with the lights 
on. Similarly, he would be the first one 

n the office to wear the latest. styles in 
clothing; his beachwear exposes as much 
skin the law allows; and if he had 
been interviewed for the Kinsey Report, 
he would ve hidden nothing and per- 
haps even exaggerated the number and 
ty of his erotic experiences, Although 
he is less likely to become an alcoholic 
than Type B, he might become excessively 
nebriatcd at times, to prove “how much 
e." He would also be less hesi- 
bout smoking pot than would Type 
B or Type C. Because of his delight in 
fantasy, he might continue masturbation 
after adolescence, in spite ol his active sc 
ual life; and there's a good chance he has 
n extensive collection of pornography. 

If he hires a prostitute, he will take 
full advantage of the fact that “He who 
pays the piper can call the tune”: He'll 
act out some of hi ler fant 
haps even experimenting with mild forms 
ny inhibitions 
IB sex 
and will especially enjoy the passive role 
which might be accompanied with 
fa ies 

Since his is Шу an ambiguous 
d ter, he can, at worst, become socio- 
pathic—the moral imbecile who tram- 
ples on everybody else in his quest for 
self-gratifi At best, he might dc- 
velop into the classic solid citizen—wise 
her, loyal husband, good provider 
and Jeader of the tribe. The key to these 
contradictions goes back to h 
when he was conditioned to inord 


g elfem: 


he can 


164 praise from others. Ever since, he has 


been seeking such praise as the supreme 
goal in lile and dheading the day 
when he might do something considered 
second- or third-rate. Perhaps he was an 
only child and his parents lavished too 
much attention on him—but it is also 
possible that he grew up in a Large fami. 
ly or in an orphanage where he was 
starved for айесіоп. In case, he 
always feels anxiety in a situation 
which he ticized—even merely ig 
nored. If, as some psychologists believe 
every neuros ng out of a p 
adox, his inner contradiction is that he is 
an individualist heavily dependent upon 
others. He ma 
called the “zero-sum illusion": Believing 
that happiness in this world is exuemely 
rare and strictly rationed, he feels every 


is c 


y even embrace what is 


gain for another is a loss for himself. He 
probably believes. in the words of 
Broadway producer David Merrick, “It 


is not enough for me to succeed. It is also 
necessary for others to f: 

In spite of his pronnscuous tendencies, 
he will mary eventually, because his 
strong drive for success, coupled with a 
keen reality sense, recognizes that in 
most business situations a man is not 
promoted to a position of. major impor 
tance until he has proved his stability һу 
“settling down.” But his r roving 
eye may make his marriage(s) rocky. Yet 
he m happy monogamy. 
if he receives from his wife and children 
the kind of adulation he has alway 
needed. Ther 
ness that proceeds not only from th 
respect for his accomplishments but also 
from their intimate knowledge and tol 
erance of his weaknesses, he might be 
to relax a little. He could even become 
less neurotically attached то projecting 
an image of perfection. In this event, 
he'll start to see people as people rather 
than as living te: is 
godlike superiority. He'll then outgrow 
his one upmanship games and 
not a cardboard sup 


having a sense of worthi 
r 


become 


ivre в 
as a greater need for Listing 
with women than does ‘Type A, 
because his sense of security is strongly 
dependent upon being loved, cared for 
and emotionally supported by others. At 


the same time, he feels undeserving of 
this 


ves in fear that it 
No matter how regu- 
be, he ers each 
g that it may be 


tention and 
be withdrawn. 
lar his sex life n 
bedroom session fea 


ously, love is "food" 10 him. 
ne cases, Type B gets hung up 
on cunnilingus to the virtual exclusion of 
coitus. This is not just because he is what 
the Freudians call an oral personality (his 
mouth is always busy, nibbling sni 
smoking, biting his finger 
on pencils, etc) but also be 
compulsive about symboli 


his women on a pedestal. Although his 
type doesn't necessarily have real poten- 
cy problems, he will worry a great deal 
about this possibility. During the sex act, 
he seeks evidence that his partner cares 
for him much more than he seeks physi- 
cal pleasure; indeed, 1 m tends 10 
be tame, compared with that of Type A, 

d he feels depleted after the act. But 


he empathizes with the woman more 
than docs Type A—sometimes excessive- 
Iy—and, if this can make him a very sat- 


isfactory lover, it can also lead him to 
undervalue his own gratification in favor 
of his partner's. Like Type A, he proba 
bly asks alterward. "Was it good?” But 
there is a sharp difference in his reac 
tions to the answer, Type A will accept 
a yes as tue and due, but Type B will 
suspect that his partner is merely being 
kind: if the answer is no. Type A will 
diagnose the woman as Irigid and reject 
the implied criticism, but Type B will 
accept it as a reflection of his own in 
adequacy, not hers. 


As Mike Nichols said in a Playboy 
Interview 1966), some people 
win by winning (Туре A) and some 


people win by losing (Type B) The 
sel-concept of Type B is that he is 
somehow irrevocably handicapped in the 
struggle for existence, and he seeks to 
make everybody aware of this so that 
hc will be treated. with the considerit- 
tion and sympathy due a cripple. Dr. 
ic Berne describes this as the “Wood- 
cn Leg" game. Type В is always commu- 
nicating the same message, verbally and 
nonverbally: “Don't expect me to keep 
up with the rest of you guys—remember 
my wooden leg." Hence, he scldom works 
up to his capacities 


1 brutal, but 
Туре B p йу wont 
mind reading it. Unlike Type A, he 
doesn't deny his neurotic tendencies; on 
the contrary, he is rather attached to 
them. ‘They provide the symbolic wood- 
en leg that is his excuse for failure. 
The paradox of winning by losing 
manifes itself in every area of his 
behavior. He seeks to be inconspicuous 
and is always embarrased when made 
the center of attention: this “psychologi 
cal invisibility” (which Type A would 
find intolerable) saves him from being 
confronted with challenges that he 
fears would overwhelm him. But his 
incompetence is as strategic as Type A's 
competence; both are acting out lile 
scripts they have writen for themselves, 
Any Type A can be thrown into 
with which he is unable to cope; but he 
will pretend to be on top of the situ 
tion, however baflled and frightened he 
may feel. Type Bs, on the other hand, 
though not necessarily below азе 


nal 


ability (they are often above average), 
tend to shun test situations, because 
they are convinced of in ad. 
vance. Thus, by avoiding the anxiety of 


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166 


ng, which he finds pa 
scores a psychological 
iety) and succeeds in the contradic- 
tory achievement of winning by losing. 
An extreme case will even allow him- 
self 10 be cheated and exploited by oth- 
em without protesting. When he does 
express n the form of a 
temper tantrum, but only in cases where 
he knows, unconsciously, that the other 
party is really innocent and meant no 
harm. In this way, he guarantees that 
his outburst will accomplish nothing 
and, once again, he wins by losing. 
His sexual behavior, of course, mani- 
fests the same tendencies. Since failure 
fy a woman will appear to be his 
. no matter how much evidence 
there may be that the hang-up is hers, he 
inevitably seek women who are easily 


turned on. Were he to visit a prostitute, 
he would not see the occasion as a 
chance to have everything his own way, 


as Type A would. More likely, he would 
attempt to make friends with her; he'd 


try to convince her he's a good guy and 
might even ask, "What's a nice girl like 
you doing in a place like thi 

И persuaded 10 participate in a Kin- 


sey type of survey, he would tend to 
interview the interviewer, secking to dis- 
cover how his behavior compared with 
the norm and looking for reassurance 
that he is not in any way deviant 
Typically, the Type B personality was 
formed in carly infancy by a mother 
who coldly rejected his dependency 
needs, which were normal at that age. 
Some Type Bs had the opposite kind of 
pfancy, overindulged by a neurotic 
mother, who anticipated all their wishes 
and thus conditioned them to per- 
реша! attitude of dependence. In either 
case, B is always trying to manipulate 
people into mothering him, and he 
projects this need onto men as well 
as onto women. He is the first to be- 
come an ardent disciple of a Type A, 
who, being flattered, ges the 
Type B. The relationship breaks off 
when Type A becomes tired of solving 
all of B's problems for hi nd then B 
feels betrayed. (This overdependency has 
ап element of masochism in it, and were 
Type B a homosexual, he and his Type 
A partner would play out this drama of 
trust and betrayal with even greater emo- 
tional intensity.) If the Type A is a 
distant authority—a Führer of some sort 
—B can go on adoring him forever. 
He would be more about 
i na than Type А; but if he 
he might well become a daily 
more likely, though, to be- 
If a cured alco- 


hesitant 


user, He 
come a problem drinke 
holic, he would be a very enthusiastic 


А.А. manber, delighting in the chance to 
give unselfishly of himself and to help 
others still struggling with their problem. 

If he discovered some talent for 
painting, music or writing, he would be 
especially happy; for in creating his own 


symbolic world, he would be free of the 
anxieties that haunt his interpersonal 
relations. However, he might be reluctant 
to submit his work to the public and he 
would accept every criticism as evidence 
that he has no real talent. By contrast, 
rejection for a Type A would prove that 
he is “ahead of his time,” only to be 
recognized alter death, or that his criti 
a hostile idiot. Many successful Type B 
erally pushed into success 
by their friends, Even then, their self- 
doubt never left them and they rem: 
bered unfavorable reviews of their work 
much longer than favorable ones. 

In marriage, B is likely to become 
the archetypal Dagwood Bumstead; his 
wife will probably ke his pay check, 
рау the bills and allocate the money in 
the household. She will also call the 
shots in bed—for instance, whether the 
lights are on or off will be her deci 
not his. With a sullidendy a 
woman, exasperated by his ti 
Type B's marriage cam degenerate into 
а rerun of Who's Afraid of Virginia 
Woolf? Yet he can achieve a very suc- 
cessful marriage if he chooses a Type B. 
woman. Then he and she can take turns 
playing mother and wooden leg; and 
quarrels will not likely arise unless they 
both want to play the dependent role 
simultancously. 

ВУ ability to switch from the infantile 
posture to the parent posture, їп fact, 
extends outside marriage, i00, His most 
attractive quality. his friends will agree, 
is his genuine concen for others. Some 
might even say of him, “He'd give you 
the shirt off his back." The fact is, he 
identifies with others in trouble; he knows 
how it feels to be helpless. In fact, 
empathy is so highly developed that some- 
times it appears to be mind 
if he has some Type A exhibitior 
his personality, he might—inspired, per- 
haps, by alcohol—come on as a parlor 
psychos ‚ astonishing his friends with 
his penetrating insights into their psyches 
But ite generally keeps this talent to him- 
self, ls his other abilities. 
he cm be characterized as a 
in hiding, alraid to 
stick his head above water, for fear that 
somebody is waiting to push it back 
under. 


TYPE c 

Sex is more problematic for Type C 
than it is for Type A and Type B per- 
sonalities, because С is dedicated to 
fighting intemperance and immorality in 
all its forms—and sex to him is one of 
them, Some women will unconsciously 
recognize this and avoid him without 
quite knowing why: but others will be 
drawn to him magnetically. These are 
timid Type B birds, with a mild tenden 
cy toward masochism; ‘Type C will be 
the righteous and stable father figure 
they are seeking, But—like a good father 
—he will not let them become too 


dependent. He will try to force them to 
grow up and stand on their own feet— 
as he himself does. 

He is the most likely of the three 
types to have problems of potency or 
premature 
physical weakness (which is wha 


his rigidity of character. He is the man 
who is inflexible in both body and mind, 
and the convulsive and involuntary move 
ments of orgasm either cannot br 
through his armor at all or he uncon 
sciously evades this shattering experience 
by a premature (and puny) climax—the 
“sneeze in the genitals"—to prevent his 
body fom being swept up in the act 
He cannot just relax and Jet it happen. 
This adds to his potency problems by 
giving him a burden of unconscious re 
entment and anger toward the woma 
for whom he must “perform.” similarly 
he would never ask after sex. "Was it 
досі," because speaking of such matters 
is distasteful to him; he'd rather not 
even think of them. He doesn't want a 
woman to become too attached to him. He 
is, in short, like a creature that has grown 
а shell and now has to live inside it, what- 
ever pain this may occasion. The psycho: 
logical component of this thinolike armor 
plate is а deep conviction that all “use- 
Jess” pleasure is self-indulgent, and there 
fore wrong. Whenever he 
that other people conside; 
or recreation, he ba 
it. If he or skiing, it’s “to 
get in shape"; if he happens to buy 

stylish item of apparel, irs not because 
he likes it or hopes it will impress other 

bur because it is practical for the cli 
mate in which he lives; if he wied non- 
coital sex, it would be because a marriage 
manual, preferably introduced by a clergy: 


just plain fun 


id an excuse for 


man, convinced him that из a man's 
"duty" to gratify his sexual partner by 


utilizing a variety of techniques. 
It is characteristic of him to present 
is ideas in series of numerical “points,” 
just like an outline of a college term pa 
per. If he were to become a scien 
(which is one of his probable ca 
choices, considering his fascination with 
number and measurement). his wor 
would be notable for its rigorous 
precise research but not for its o 
of hypotheses. He is usually incapable of 
understanding Type А and Type B indi 
viduals and might go out of his way to 
punish them for their “misdeeds”—that is, 
Type A's impulsiveness and Type B's 
timidity, which prevent them from stand- 
ing firm on a bedrock of unshakable 
principles, as he docs. Because of 
conviction that his is the only way to do 
unsuited to career positions 
requiring v but he is 
the ideal person to be appointed comp- 
troller of a corporation, where he will 
hold back the Type A execurives when 
their high-risk ideas seem unsound. 


and crea 


He 167 


PLAYBOY 


158 favorite suategies in d 


will also help the company by pitilessly 
weeding out the most infantile and 
unproductive Type B employees. 

In all probability, his parents were 
even more inflexible and authoritarian 
than he. In psychoanalytic terms, his 
is an anal personality: Most of his up- 
tightness derives from the toilet-training 
period of infancy. His parents may have 
begun training him at too carly an age, 
before he had sphincter control, or else 
they reacted with such moralistic horror 
—"Oh, you made dirty-dirty again 
that he has never since really liked 
body or its natural functions. His ener- 
gy is largely devoted to maintaining 
self-control and trying to impose a s 
lar posture on others. People who have 
known him from birth will say that he 
“never was a «hill, that hc secmed 
very grown up in comparison with his 
schoolmates, an impression reinforced by 
his lack of spontan and his self- 
conscious attitude in periods of “free” 
in school. 

When not headed for a career in the 
sciences or in the financial departments 
of a business, С may become a policc- 
man, clergyman or organizer of a political 
reform group. He might even go into 
education (where he'll achieve, and enjoy, 
a reputation for flunking more students 
than anybody else). The harshness of his 
judgments often makes him unpopular 
and he can be a public nuisance at 
yet he might also be a public 
ability to stand by his 
се. no matter what the cost, 
se him to a heroism like that of 
the Quakers who ran the Underground 
Railroad before the Civil War. He could 
also be a revolutionary tyrant, like Marat 
or Lenin, or a puritanical book bun 
like Anthony Comstock. 

Because he is committed to both ri 
son and morality, as he conceives them, 
he may become a religious fundamen- 
talist, a dogmatic believer in any politi- 
cal system from Far Ri ar Lelt, or 
merely a man “who knows his own 
mind.” He might follow the philosophy 
of his parents; or he might rebel against 
it, only to espouse any equally 
system at the opposite 
basic content of his beliefs is irrele 
here; what makes a Type C is the rigidly 


extreme. 


let, he feels intensely that the world “is 


out of joint” and that he “was born 10 
set it right.” Bur while Hamlet, esen- 
tially а Type В, regretted this situation 
ind піса to escape it, Type С accepts 
it manfully. Others may regard this as pre- 
sumption on his part, but he feels that 
it’s simply his duty. He is, therefore, en- 
meshed in a neuroti 
always at decency 

succeeds all too often in being indecent 
and irrational. This is because one of hi 
g with his 


own unwanted sensuality is to project i 
outward upon others and fight it in 
them instead of in himself—the classic 
scapegoat mechanism. His morality then 
becomes a weapon, a form of sadism, 
and he uses it often, unaware that his 
victims are just symbolic figures repre- 
senting his own unconscious drives. 
‘Thus, the medieval witch-hunter is 
his archetype, and the image of woman 
as the sorceress is deeply embedded in 
his sexual attitudes. Whereas Type A, 
for instance, could not abide a frigid 
wife, since she would not respond with 
admiration to his sexual prowess, and 
Type B would be thrown into panic by 
such à we п, blaming himself for her 
lack of orgasm, Type G might actually 
prefer such a partner. If he became in- 
volved with a multiorgasmic female, he 
would probably break off the relation- 
ship. regarding her as unbalanced, nym- 
phom cal or “possessed.” Part of his 
hostility to the current sexual revolution 
is due to his honest puzzlement over 
why people make such a fuss about a 
pleasure that is, in his experience, very 
brief, very miner and perhaps quite sin- 
ful. Jf he visited a prostitute, he would 
probably not engage in extensive experi 
mentation, like Type A, nor try to make 
friends with her, pe B. but 
would almost certainly find a rationali- 
zation, such as, "Well, it’s better than 
ruining a good On the other hand, 
employment of a. prostitute would be, in 
certain ways, most congenial to him, be- 
cause he welcomes а sil ion in which 
no emotional involvement or genuine 
response is required. He is also likely to 
shower compulsively after sex, to 
away the "sin" and “filth. 
Naturally, he is more squea 
guiltridden about receiving ora 
other men. if he did 
would be likely to restrict this activity 
10 foreplay, feeling that "going all the 
way" would be improper. He would also 
prefer to keep the lights off during inter- 
course; and if he found himself con- 
versation about sex, he would contribute 
little. He would not want to purchase 
Candy or Valley of the Dolls at a book 
store, but might have them sent to his 
home in plain brown wrappers. And 
if asked to participate in а Kinsey type 
оГ survey, he would most likely refuse, 
claiming that the time and money could 
be better spent on more important 
Kinds of research, such as getting to 
the moon before the Russians. Were 
homosexual, he seek a 
ous relationship, to prove that 


sex than 
permit it. he 


he a 


would 


Is are as "moral" as hetero- 
sexuals; and he would probably involve 
himself, secretly, in a group working lor 


greater civil liberties for homosexuals. He 
almost gives others the impression that he 
is a celibate, tending also to be a non- 
drinker and a nonsmoker; and even in 
a happy marriage, he would be very 


parsimonious about expressing affection 
Small children—because of the sponta- 
neous and open nature of their affection 
and their anger—tend to make him 
uncomfortable. 

Upon reaching middle age, C may 
begin to question himself scriously and 
become aware, in ways he can scarcely 
verbalize, that he has lived most of his 
life in a self-built cage. When this hap- 
pens, unless he is able to ruthlessly sup: 
press this dawning awareness of how he 
has cheated himself of life, he will either 
be beset by eruptions from the unco 
scious that will send him to a psycho- 
therapist or he will break out of his shell 
in an explosive way that, at worst, can 
destroy him, his family and everything 
he struggled so single-mindedly to build. 
He will attempt to scize all the pleasures 
and live out all the irresponsibility that 
he repressed in childhood, adolescence and 
сапу adulthood. His wife will say, com 
pletely bafiled, “This isn’t the man I 
married.” However, it’s the other side of 
the very same man she thought she knew 
so well. 

Unlike Type A, who denies any 
weakness in himself, and Type B, who 
feels that every defect he has is incur- 
able, Type С both recognizes and fights 
against his frailties. In fact, he spends а 
good deal of time fighting blemishes 
ї exist only in his own imagination; 
't for this overdeveloped coi 
science (superego), he might be consid. 
егей the most stable of the three types. 
As it is, he is unable to recognize that he, 
too, is human; he wears himself out in 
an irrational pursuit of some ¢ of 
perfection so ill defined and so unrealis 
tic that, like the horizon, it recedes with 
cach step he takes toward it. 


As you evaluate the self-portra 
emerges from this questionnaire, remem- 
ber that even the healthiest of us have 
neurotic tendenci d it is the ability 
to cope with them, not their absence, 
that permits us to function normally. 
Since the “profiles” described as Types A, 
В and C are prototypes of the three most 
common neurotic personalities in Amer- 
ica today, you would be a rare person 
if your hang-ups didn't lean more toward 
one than toward the two others. 

A neurotic personality is one with an 
excessive tendency to play a socially 
learned and stereotyped role—it has son 
the same cflect on one's. social life 
that being “typecast” has on an actor's 
cue ysis of. your sex quotient 
will help you uncover the roles, rules and 
rituals you learned when your personality 
was being molded and which you there. 
fore habitually follow. There is another 
part of you—more intrinsic and. perhaps 
greater—that is unique and spontaneous; 
it is always processing new data, learning, 
growing and developing in unpredictably 
individualistic ways. As you mature and 


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170 


acquire selfinsight. you can certainly 
le give y chance— 
10 break away from the less desirable 
(because least serviceable to vou) fixed 
terns of psychosexual behavior you've 


0—1 you urself 


acquired while growing up. 


Incident 
people play 
of ingenuity can turn this quiz i 
number of emertaining and 
parlor games. For instance, have 
friend answer the questions as she thinks 
you would, and se 


ly. 


how close she comes 
At the 


to your own answers least, th 
will give you some insight into the degree 
10 which you project your true psycho- 
sexual personality—or the one you'd like 
to project. 

A twist—which may uncover a girl's 
own private games or fantasies—is to 
ave her answer the questions, imagin- 
ing, for the purpose, that she herself is 
а man. 


You and a group of friends might fill 
e while role playing 
a colleague or as an 


out the qu 


as your bos 


sent acq 
А group variation that only be 
played once within the same group. before 
it's spoiled by everyone knowing the gim- 


сар 


mick, works like this: By lot or some 
other random (or apparently random) 
means, one person is selected as “I.” It is 


told that while he is out of the room, 


the rest of the group will select 
son to be the “Subject” of wt 
psychometric quiz. When It comes back, 
he will ask the questions one at a time, 
in rotation, around the room. All re- 
sponses, he is told, will represent the 
respondents best efforts to answer pre- 
cisely as the Subject would do. Its up 
to It to decide, from the answers given, 
which person in the group is the Subject. 
He just may wig to the fact that he, 
himself, is the Subject before the exam 
is completed. But be prepared for a bit 
of heated discussion debate il he 
doesn't twig and has to be told. 


пе per- 
ynoy's 


and 


nally, separare the men and the girls, 
iswer the questions as 
a ideal man would (in the 
case of the girls 
mind the ideal mate: 
men, they should have 
of man they'd like to bO. W 
reassemble, the host те 
tions and answers to reveal similari 
and differences of the two ideals. 
Winners? Suitable prizes? In each of 
these parlor games and other variations 
you may invent, rhe prize is that kind of 


they should have in 
з the case of the 
mind the kind 
n all 


ls aloud all ques- 


intimate and. deeply involved. conversa- 
id 


tion that is sometimes the rich rew 
lor playing "Truth or Consequences f 
into the night, when everybody wins in 
some 


nner, 


“This one has an unlisted number!” 


(continued from page 10) 


Cats tooth'd broken off at the root.” 
He started to laugh. “I had to keep tell- 
ing Carlyle to hit harder. Finally got 
that sucker out, though. Right, Carlyle?” 

That's right. 

The waiter came with her drink. She 
dra hall right away 

"She drinks that like lemonade, huh, 
Carlyle 

He did not know what to answer, The 
dentist had been stupid to ask it. But he 
forced himself to speak. watching her 
сусу. "some people take it better than 
others." 

"And 
drunk. 

She snorted. 
Carlyle with 
don't look like th: 
broad. smile. 

ў The dentist finished his drink, 
put ten dollars on the table and stood 
up. "ЕЦ be right back." He went toward 
the rest rooms; but whe minutes 
er. he had nor returned, Carlyle re 
ized he was on his ow 

Weather did not interest her, nor Asia, 
nor even hemlines. She would not speak. 

ve him no handle. When the ten-dollar 
bill had dwindicd to seven pennies and 
а dime. he helped her out of the booth, 
up the stairs vo the street and into a taxi 

On the Hill, she handed him 
nd he opened her door. He 
aside, knowing in this 
would have to ask him inside. 
make it all right?" 

She nodded and started imo the dark 
house, with his $1000. Then her heels 
stopped and turned back, but he could 
not see her pinched face. “You seem too 
hice to be his frieud. Mr. Bedlow." She 
closed the door in his face, 


some get falling-down 


му 


a short 


laugh, leaving 
“Your wife 
He tried a 


The next day, he paid the dentist a 
it “Man, that was the wrongest thing 
you could've did, leaving like that. I got 
to sell myself under yor 


i 


nose. 


Bent over his worktable, the dentist 
was inspecting his tools. “What hap- 
pened? 


“Nothing. She just sat there and filled 
up on that ten you left" He was in the 
dentist's ch wl his 
ing. began to throb. 
when we started. 
“How you figure that? 
Because now she connects me with 
an unhappy time. I got to have a chance 
to sympathize with her. But she didn't 


w, remember- 
We worse off than 


tell me nothing. I didn't have the 
ance to call vou a bastard,” 
The dentist turned around, а small 


knife in his hand. “I couldn't sit there 
with that crazy bitch по more. I went to 
Jea 

"You have to hold that back if you 
want this to work. You educated and all, 
but that was dumb. 


“J couldn't help it.” He looked unhap- 
py. “So you didn’t make progress?” 

“Nothing, man. As a matter of fact, I 
think she knows we ain't Army buddies, 
because at the end, she sticks her head 
out the door and tells me I'm too nice to 
be your friend—Mr. Bedlow." 

"She did?" 'The dentist brightened. 
“Goddamn! You made it, Carlyle.” Н 
jumped, the knife shining in his fist. 
“Why didn't you tell me that before?” 

Carlyle cleared his throat. "Remem- 
ber you said you wanted to get out be- 
fore you got crazy, too?" He shook his 
head. “You too late. 
The de t came tor 
wing the knife. "You're too nice 
to be my friend. That's a compliment." 

Just then, Carlyle very much wished 
he was on his way to a steady customer 
with a fur coat fresh from some white 
woman's unlocked car, perfume still 
strong in its silk lining. “That ain't no 
compliment, Not the way she said it. 
She was just getting you." 

"You're wrong. I know my wife, man. 
I'm a bad guy. But you're too nice to be 
my friend. She's going for it. Time for 
stage number two.” The weekend w; 
coming, he went on. Friday night, Car- 
lyle, Jean, the dentist and wife 
would go down to the cottage at the end 
of Long Island. Jean would pret 
Carlyle's date. But once they һа 


Jean and the dentist would have lots of 
paperwork. Carlyle would be free to 
seduce the dentist's wife, He was so sure 
it would work that he told Carlyle to 
arrange to have someone there to take 
pictures on Saturday night. He would 
put the photographer up at a small motel 
nearby. 

There was no arguing with him, Car- 
lyle agreed to come to the office at si 
that Friday with a suitcase full of at- 
tractive sports clothes, the better to trap 
the dentist's wife. 


"The dentist owned a very big auto- 
mobile. Carlyle and Jean—her big, beau- 
tiful thighs crossed—sat in the back. The 
dentist's wife stared out of the open 
right front window at cemeteries, a 
ports, rows of pink and gray houses and, 
finally, sandy hills covered with stubby 
Christmas wees and hard, dull-green 
bushes. Two hours from Harlem, they 
turned onto a dirt road. Then, even over 
the engine, Carlyle heard the music, as 
if they had made a giant circle and re- 
turned to the summer jukeboxes of the 
Avenue, 

The community was crowded in the 
dusk light around a small, bright bay. It 
did not look like Harlem, but if he 
had come on it by accident, Carlyle 
would've known that black people lived 
there. The music was loud and there 


was the smell of good food, barbecuing 
ribs, frying chickens, Carlyle had always 
believed that black people like the den- 
tist and his wife tried very hard to act 
white. If so, their music and food gave 
them away. 

The dentist's house was glass and lac 
quered wood, 30 yards from the beach. 
They sat around an empty yellow-brick 
fireplace, flicking their ashes into ceram- 
ic trays, while the dentist's wife fixed 
dimer. Behind her back, the dentist 
winked, smiled, waved at Jean. Carlyle 
read a magazine, trying to give them 
privacy—and wondered if the dentist's 
wife actually did not know about Jean 
and the dentist. They ate, drank two or 
three Scotches apiece, tried to talk and, 
at 11, gave up and went to bed. 

Carlyle had not been in bed at 11 in 
years, and he awoke in the middle of 
the night. Listening to the waves, he 
missed Harlem: cars racing lights on the 
Avenue, drunks ng the white man, 
someone still up and playing music. Un- 
able to get sleep back, he climbed out of 
bed, removed his black pressing rag and 
went out into the front yard. Something 
made him look up and he discovered the 
stars. In Harlem, he could see only the 
brightest, strongest ones. But now he saw 
more stars than sequins on а barmaid's 
dress, and liked them. He sat, then lay 


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172 


down, careful to keep his hands between 
the wet grass and his hair. 

At first he did not hear her thumping 
toward him. Then her pinched orange- 
gray face was peering down at him, her 
hair wrapped around tiny spiked metal 
rollers. "You didn't like your bed?” She 
wore only a nightgown, drab in the sta 
light. 

He sat up quickly. "I couldn't sleep, 
not enough noise.” That sounded funny 
to him and he laughed. quietly. 

"I know what you mean." She hesi- 
tated for a moment, then sat down next 
to him. It was going to work, after all. 
The man did know his wife. Maybe she 
had some men but was very careful 
about it. 

Lowering herself down beside him, 
shed gathered up the nightgown to 
show him knecs as square and hard as 
fistsized ivory dice, “It's a nice night, 
though.” 

“Yeah.” 
her legs. 


He had not finished judging 


“They're not much, are they? Maybe 
that’s why——" She stopped. “No, that's 
not why." Then she looked at him. "Mr. 
Bedlow- 

He did not let her finish, had pushed 
her onto her back while his name was 
still soft in the air. It was business, like 
opening a car door, going through a 
glove compartment, tossing the road 
maps aside, hoping to find a portable 
radio or a wallet. She wrapped her thin 
ams and legs around him, gasping as if 
in pain. 
On hands and knees, he pulled away 
from her and discovered she had begun 
to cry. "Oh, this is bad. This is bad. But 

. . I was so hot!" She rolled onto her 
stomach, muflling sobs in the grass. “This 
is really bad. I сапт do this.” 

He patted her shoulder blades, pulled 
her nightgown over her buttocks, realiz- 
ing, as he tricd to comfort her, that the 
dentist had lied to him. If she had been 
cheating, Carlyle could hope to be Pres- 
ident of the United States. Of course, it 


Qi ` as TES 


“Bad news on that new brightening formula, chief.” 


did not matter, only that he did not 
want it known that he believed every- 
thing people told him. 

Finally, he got her to stop crying and 
sit up. She would not look at him but 
huddled on the grass, her back to him. 
"Em sorry, Mr. Bedlow. I guess you 
could tell we was having troubles. But 1 
didn't mean to bring vou into 

"Come on, Robena, the sky won't fall 
down. And call me Carlyle. Mr. Bedlow 
don't make it now." He moved closer to 
her, spoke over her shoulder. "What 
kind of trouble уоп people got? You 
озуп everything, two houses, a big car 
and all that. So it can't be money.” He 
believed what he said but had asked 
because now he wanted to know the 
dentist's weaknesses. 

She lowered her chin to her chest. “No, 
it’s not money. Yes, it’s money.” She 
raised her head and turned toward him. 
“How old are you?” 

He gave himself a few 

“I'm thirty-six." She w let the 
number die. "Me and my husband, when 
we went to school, in Washington, it 
different, even from your time. We always 
thought, at least I did—1 mean, now I 
don’t know what he really thought—I 
mean, we thought it was enough for him 
to be a dentist. You know what I mean?" 

AIL this had little to do with marriage, 
the kind he knew. He had expected the 
usual story, the dentist in the street, run- 
ning after the many Jeans he'd had before 
this one. Or pets aps she would think the 
. He waited. 

“But "s not enough anymore, I 
mean, he’s а good dentist, he really is, 
but they don't care good or not. I 
alw: 

They? Carlyle thought. Then he real- 
ized she was talking about white people. 

“But they don't. It took me a long time 

5; and after, I dii 
e paused. "We was raised 
to believe we had to be best. My momma 
was always telling me, you got to be best 
in your dass.” 

Carlyle, too, remembered those words. 

"But I was a girl and was only sup- 
posed to be the best wife I could be. So 
when we got manied, I worked so he 
could go to school full time. He's a good 
deni but it didn't do any good. When 
he should've been on the staff of a good 
Clinic, he ended up in Harlem. And when 
he should’y She stopped, shook her 
head. t very interesting, is it 

One quality Carlyle had developed in 
his work was patience; he told her to go 
on. still hoping she would give him some- 
thing important. 

The point is, when I saw they was 
lying about caring, 1 looked into every- 
thing they said, and you know what? 
‘They lied about everything.” She spoke 
as if still bewildered by her discovery. 
“Hell, I known that since I was sew 
She shook her head several times. “Ni 


o. 
listen, everything. Even about food. You 


ever read the small print on a box of 
ice cream? It’s not even ice cream.” 

“You sound like my little brother." He 
started to laugh. "He's a Black Jesuit. 
And you know they crazy.” 

She ignored him. “What I want is for 
him to stop working for a year and go 
around the world. I want to see if what 
I think is true really is. And I want him 
to sce it. And if it is, maybe we can do 
just something small. It's not enough for 
us to sit out here on а lite pile of 
moncy. I mean, we was supposed to do 
something good [or our She 
stopped ng then, sat with her chin 
on her knees, her nightgown bunched 
around her thighs, leaving Carlyle dis- 
appointed. 

Then she stood up. "Well, that's my 
sad tale. Maybe you'll tell me yours one 
time.” She smiled, for the first time. 

In the kitchen, she gave him a cup of 
instant coffee. He read the label and 
wondered what kind of chemicals the Xs 
and Ys were, and what they did to his 
stomach. When he had finished the 
coffee, he returned to his room, retied 
his head and climbed into bed. 

The dentist knocked at his door at 
nine the next morning but did not wait 
for Carlyle to ask him in. “You made it, 
didn’t you? I knew you could crack it 
open. Been done before. I hope your 
man is a good picture taker. My prints 
got to come out clear! 

Carlyle propped himself against the 
bed's headboard. “She may not do it 
again.” He had decided he would let 
the dentist think himself still in charge. 

“Go on, man. Everybody knows the 
first nut is the hardest.” 
laybe so. How you know, anyway?" 
woke up at three and she wasn't in 
bed. And neither was you. 1 figured you 

vas together someplace. What'd you 
think of it?” 

"Ain't the best I ever had." 

"Me, too.” The dentist came to the 
bed's foot. "But with the money, you 
buy something better." The dentist 
smiled, good, even white teeth, one gold 
covered—then closed his lips. "You bet- 
ter drive over to that motel and tell your 
friend to load his camera 

Carlyle nodded. “What's your plan 
for today?” 

“We're invited to a party. In the late 
afternoon. We get her drunk, you bring 
her home, naked, and in bed. ГЇ make 
sure you got the house to yourselves." 
He smiled again. "Me and my Jean'll 
mike sure, someplace.” He laughed, 
turning to the door. “Get your hook in 
deep. 

“I might toss this one back.” 

He opened the door. “Not in my 
creck, you won't," 

But Carlyle was not so sure. 

As he dressed—in short-sleeved pink 
silk shirt, white bell-bottoms—he tried to 


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PLAYBOY 


decide exactly what to do. Obviously, 
he wanted to come out the other end 
with the dentist's $1000. But then the 
dentist would have to get his pictures. 
What Carlyle most wanted was to get 
his money but leave the dentist married 
to his crazy wife. That would sound 
good when told in the bars. “That den 
tist thought he had Carlyle, but then 
Carlyle Bedlow got down to business. 
do you hear, business!” "That meant he 
had to get the moncy before the dentist 
saw the pictures, bad ones. Pictures in 
which the woman's face was not quite 
clear. When he paid the money, the 
dentist would have to believe the pi 
ires were good. Carlyle heard himself 
talking: "She passed out, man. 1 just sat 
there beside her in my shorts; we pulled 
back the covers and Hondo snapped 
away. They so good we might even sell 
some.” But the pictures wouldn't show a 
thing. He rehearsed his speech while he 


ting the 
dentist to suffer through a morning with 
both of his women, imagining that as he 
drove between the trees on his way to 
see his friend, the photographer, Hondo 
Johnson. 

“Wait a minute. You saying you don't 
want the pictures to come out?” 
Right.” 

"Well, why don't you just give him a 
blank roll?” Hondo was still in his p 
mas, a pullover top, shorts. They were 
lemon yellow and his legs were brown 
and shiny. He was sitting on the cdge of 
his motel bed. 

cause, if he ever finds me, 1 can 
tell him it was a surprise to me, too. PI 
ofer 10 do it again.” He was looking 
to Hondo's mirror, checking his h 
“But he won't go for it, because no 
could do it two times to the same wom- 
an. And I'm sorry, Doc, but I already 
spent that money, He ain't got no boys 
to send after mc. 

“Come on, man. Why can't we just do 
it simple? Take the pictures and get the 
money.” Once Hondo thought it was 
going one way, he did not like to 
change his plans. He couldn't improvise. 
But if he knew exactly what to do, it 
was done. "Well mess up, man, And 1 
could've used the moncy. 

“We won't lose the money. We'll take 
insurance pictures. Good ones, with her 
legs open and all. I know a n 
town'll buy them” And it would be 
good to have the pictures, just im case 
the dentist did have some boys. “You 
sfied now?" 

Hondo nodded but did not look hap- 
py. His lips were poked out under his 
mustache. "Fell me the signal. 

“When I turn out the lights. 
hadn't really thought about it. 

Hondo started to hugh, "And how'm 


n down- 


5а! 


Carlyle 


174 | supposed to shoot pictures їп the 


dark?" He was pleased to have caught 


оште all right, man.” He adjusted 
his shirt, turned from the mirror, “What 
about the blinds" 
“That's good. Pull down the blinds, 
nd if they already down, pull them up. 
Just do something with them blinds." 
He stood up. “You got that 
"OK." He liked Hondo, "But I'll try 
to get her falling-down, so we'll have 
plenty of time and she won't know noth- 
ing. Then we leave. I don't 
drunken broads, anyway." 


Tt was working. She might сус) 


pass 
out before he got her off the dirt road, 


nto the house and out of her clothes. 
The party had started at five and now, 
at ten, was still going. They had eaten— 
to salad, fried chicken and greens, 
tes—drinking steadily. The 
awyers, dentists, big-time hus- 
ders got very loud about baseball, the 
white man, Harlem after the War, when 
they were all starting Their 
children, teenagers, had finally gained 
control of the phonograph and were 
dancing hard on the lawn. Carlyle had 
filled her empty glases Finally, he 
asked her if she wanted to go home. 
Winking at the dentist, he led her out of 
the house. 

In the moonlight, the dirt of the road, 
half sand, shone gray. He was support- 
ing her with a hand on her bony rib 
cage. “How you «di " He did not 
really want her to 
herself. 

“Fm doing fine. What did you 

“Nothing.” They were on the dentist's 
gras now, circling a clump of lawn 
chairs and an umbrella table, a few 
steps from the porch. He saw the bushes 
move and waved at Hondo. 

Taking her suaight to her bedroom, 
he unned on the dim table lamp and 
to undress her, She did not resist 
but was so still that he was not sure she 
was awake. He put her clothes onto 2 
chair, returned to the bed and pulled 
the bedcovers from under her. “Thanks, 
baby." It sounded strange the way she 
said it. It was meant not for him but for 
the dentist. 

He undressed to his shorts, went to 
the window and pulled down the blinds. 

“What's that?" She raised her head, 
bur it weighed too much, 

He tried to imitate the dentist. “Noth- 
ing, baby. We need some is all.” 

Hondo was coming. He had banged 
open the front door, was making his 
way through the living room, bumping 
into things. He slid the coffee table out 
of his way. Carlyle went to the bedroom 
door, “Hey, ‚ quict down. Follow 
my voice.” 

"Why didn't you turn on some lights, 
nigger?” He had almost reached the 


careers. 


hallway. Carlyle was at the other end. 
“Follow my voice, man. 
Now Hondo ran toward him, ap- 
peared, in Bermuda shorts and sneakers. 
Carlyle backed into the room, 
Hondo popped into the doorway, 
stopped. “You expect me to take pic 


tures in this light?" He was disgusted. 
“Quiet down, man," Carlyle whis- 


pered. "She ain't out yet. 

"I got to have more light. I ain't got 
no infrared attachment," He began to 
focus his camera on the dentist's naked 


"t nobody. Close Im 
turning on the top light 

She did not answer. He waited, then. 
switched it on. It was very bright. For a 
few seconds, he could not see Hondo. 
"OK now?" 

"Lu ." He put the camera to his 
face again. "But I can't be sure until I 
read the meter." 

‘Come on, man. We ain't got time for 
that" She was going to wake up. Some- 
how he knew i 

"Always got time. W] if we ain't 
got our insurance pictures?" He took a 
light meter from his pocket, advanced 
on her, held over her navel 

Carlyle sat down on the bed. “How you 
doing, baby?” He patted her shoulder. 

Her eyes were closed. “Who wis thar 
just now?" 

“Just a guy.” 
her cheek. 
got it now, man.” Hondo had 
moved to the foot of the bed. “One 
point four. But 1 got to do it in seconds, 
so you can't move.” 

“Who's that voice?" She raised herself 
to her elbows, looked up into Hondo's 
lens. “Who! 

"OK, now hold it." 

But she was already moving, realizing. 
she was with Carlyle, scrambling to the 
edge of the bcd. "He got you to do 
this. 

Carlyle reached out for her, but she 
broke away and jumped for the closet. 
“He'll never get one now.” She pulled 
the door behind her, 

Carlyle did not follow her. He could 
easily open the closet door, but that 
would be useless. She had to be in bed 


your eyes. 


with a man, looking either surprised or 


happy, but nor snuggling. "You better 
come out of there, Robena;" He put a 
threat into his voice but did not mean 
it. She had to imprison herself while he 
thought. He knew what he had to do 
now: convince her to pose for the 
pictures. 

He looked at Hondo, still busy with 
final adjustments, then stood up. “Lis 
baby, you can't stay in there all 

And nobody's coming to rescue 
His mouth was close to the door. 
“And nobody's getting a divorce, 


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176 


either." She started to scold him. “1 
thought you was nice.” 

“Lam. We ain't even into how nice I 
really am. Come on out. 

Hondo sat down on the bed, camera 
waiu 


sed, cleared 
her noe. “You make love to women for 
money.” She sniffled aga 

“That ain't the way it is. I came out 
here with Jean. Your husband's nurse?” 

“I know her. She got a crush on him 

"No, she don’t.” He waited; she did 
not speak. "She's with me, bur then last 
night you and me got into something 
special. But your husband found out. 
And he said he'd make a lot of trouble 
for me if I didn't get his pictures. He 
got me in a terrible spot." 

She paused for a moment. "First of 
all, you didn't even talk to Jean all the 
way out in the car. And second, where 
did you get а cameraman so fast?" 

The dentist's wife was very smart. 
“You being real stupid. What you want 
with a man who don't want vou 

so want me." She did not 


"No, he don't. He wants Jean. He 
wants (o marry Jean.” His voice was 
cold, the way he talked to whit 
men as Jong as their 
under blue winter coats. "And he's paying 
me lots of money to get him a divorce.” 

She waited again, crying behind the 
closet door. “Well, he's not getting one.” 

“Listen to me, Robena.” He bent clos- 


er, softened his tone. "Face it, baby. He 
don't want you. He don't want anything 
about you. He don't want to go around 
the world with you. He thinks you're 
crazy to want to do that. Give the man 
his picture: 

And she did. 


They were the dearest pictures any 
judge would ever see. The woman sat on 
the bed. bare to the waist. She looked sad, 
her infidelity uncovered. The young black 
hoodlum, his hair shiny and slightly 
waved, was certainly not her husband. 

Hondo took no others Carlyle had 
decided inst trying for the extra 
money. One thousand was enough. The 
dentist paid him, in cash, the following 
Monday evening. 

Carlyle had long since tumed the 
money into clothes, а good camel's-hair 
overcoat, shoes, a few suits. en next 
he heard from e. She 


wh 
the dentist's wi 
1 mailed a postcard to him, care of 


the Silver Goose. It ne from. 


шоре: 


Hello. Мете here on our honey- 
My husband is а dentist 
from [the ink had been smudged] 
in Africa. Best wishes, Robena (the 
dentists wile, remember2). 


moon. 


At first Carlyle did not remember. 
When he did, he thought about it for a 
while... . 


“No, thank you, I'm trying to дий...” 


UNDER THE ICE TOGETHER? 


(continued [rom page 148) 


Smith watched you till four, then he 
woke me up. Thats about it. 

It was a standard Sunday morning, 
сусгуопе moaning hangover and scuffing 
down improbable quantities of corn flakes, 
sausage, eggs, quarts of milk, When Wen- 
gell came downstairs, everything that 
touched his senses was dead normal, 
Sunday-morningaftera-party breakfast 
noises, air, tone, colors, everything, and 
he knew instantly that the form had been 
laid down, and what it was: Nothing had 
happened. Brother had not raised hand 
ast brother. It had never happened. 
seemed eminently sensible and 
ized to him. He was grateful. He would go 
along with that, he would go along with 
all his heart. Later, of course, some 

ivately, maybe tomorrow. he would talk 
m Cole, and find out. But for now 

- . there was an empty chair next to 
Petey Je 

“How now, mate?" Jensen said. “You 
scored, last night, I hear? Did you i 
fact score on t lle blue-eyed pop- 
sy, and she so virginal? And you so vir- 
ginal, comes to that? You scored, in fact, 
ог not?” 

Wengell never had the talk wi 
Cole. It might have happened in the 
first week after the party, bur somehow 
it did not, there was no good chance, 
no reasonable opening. And then with 
ever mattered less. After all, last 
week was medieval history, last month 
almost onc with Nineveh and Туге. Bil 
ly Wengell didn't really think about that 
night again until a September day two 
years later, coming back to school, going 
into the house for the first time, know- 
ing that Sam Cole wouldn't be there, 
But he thought about it as time wore 
on, he thought about it quite a lot. It 
nagged at him. Why? And where had it 
started? 

Well. There he was, S. T. Cole, Cam 
bridge, Mass, in B2. The seat next to 
him was empty, the man was playing 
gin in the lounge up forward. Wengell's 
litle tenth-pint bourbon bottles rolled 
empty on the tray. Не got up. 


h Sam 


“Sam,” he said. Cole looked up, 
y Wengell.” 
sake!" Cole He 


stuck his hand up. "Come on in here, sit 
down. My God, it's been thirty bloody 
y 


don't want to know," Wengell said. 
"A long time, anyw 
"What are you drinking?” 
"Bourbon, but Гуе had mine. Two to 
a customer, you know. And L see you've 
had yours." 
‘m not a customer,” Cole said. "And 
no friend of mine is а customer" He 
punched the call button. He ordered 
four bourbons he didn't say "please" 
and the girl didn't even blink. 


An hour later, somewhere over Hoover 
m, they һай got through most of it, 
who was dead and who wasn't, who'd 
ied whom, and what a damned 
story apartment building 
where the house had stood, wiped olf 
the face of the earth, not a trace, might 
as well never have existed, too bad, too 
bad. 

"I wondered what had become of 
you, Billy," Sam Cole said. “I don't be- 
lieve I ever saw anything about you in 
the alumni magazine. Didn't expect to. 
You weren't the type, writes in saying I 
was just promoted to assistant manager 
at the widget works. 

"Not те," Wengell said. He sketched 
it in: the year on the freighter, France, 
the War, the piano-playing time, steam 
radio, TV, the studios, the weekly N. Y.— 


L. A. commute. 
“I've always wondered," Cole said. 


“When you're up there in Пош of an 
orchestra, waving that stick, are you 
really doing anything? Excuse me, I'm 
ignorant. But are you?’ 

Wengell laughed. “Keeping time,” he 
said. “Giving them the beat. Well, you 
see, the work has been done before, in 
rehearsal. You build the train in rehears- 
al; performance, you run it down the 
track and hope a wheel doesn’t fall off." 

“Does it give you a big feeling of ac- 
complishment? That you've done some- 
thing?" 

“I guess so. Some people more than 
other. For me, оп a free choice, I'd 
rather be playing. Not in the orchestra. 
I could do that any time. Alone. Con- 
certs. Thats what I wanted to do. But I 
was only very good, very competent; 
and for a pianist, that's nothing but a 
license to starve to death. 

“I'm tone deal,” Cole said. "It's just 
noise to me. I sometimes wonder what 
Fm missing.” He stared at Wengcll. a 
hard-looking man. "AL 
‚ Гуе been too busy. To 


notion I had to make as much money as 
my father left me, and that was quite a 
lot So I've been hustling. Dollar here, 
dollar there, Picking it up. When you 
know moncy, it's just a game. Like poker. 
And that’s about it, Except for fringe 
benefits, like 1 can get twenty drinks if I 
want them. The stewardess knows 1 have 
the idea I own thirty-five percent of this 
airplane. I pay thirty-five percent of her 
salary. Big deal. 

They were perhaps 5000 feet over the 
cloud level, there was little relative 
movement, the plane was floating there, 
lightly, magically held between the roll- 
ing floor of snow cloud and the illimit- 
able blue stratosphere. 

“Billy,” Cole said. “Do you remember 
that night at Terry's, after the party?" 

“I do, indeed,” Wengell said. 

“The next day. and the day after. and 
for a long time, I thought I ought to tell 


“You interested in a nooner? 


you I was sorry about that. Right chance 
never seemed to come, 

“I wanted to talk to you about it, too. 
At least I should have thanked you. Alt- 
er all. you did keep me out of the water. 
Not to put too fine a point on it, you did. 
save my life." 


saw you were too fast for me, I got 
scared. I knew about that open water, I 
knew what you were up to, and it 


would be my fault. So I took off and. 
dove for you. I remember thinking I 
might break your legs, that ground. was 
like concrete, but 1 didn't care, long as I 
stopped you. Thats the truth, 

"Why not?" Wengell said. "It was a 
bad time. It was a bad night. 
“Oh, I don't know," Cole said. 

“The part I never did understand, 
Wengell said. "was there at Terry's. 
when you hit me that shot from behind. 
What was bugging you? What had I 
done to you?" 

Cole twisted in the seat to look at 
him. He seemed to have to move his 
whole upper body in order to turn his 
head any distance. His eyes were a 


"Not a godd: ng that 7 know,” 
he said. "Maybe I'd have hit anybody 
who was standing where you were. 


ri 
“aan 


1 
tyr 


Maybe I was just sore that n 
Maybe it was you—I have to admit 
there were times, listening to you talk, 
Td say to myself, that son of a bitch. He 
knows things I don't know where to look 
up. And I figured you were a goddamn 
radical of some kind, fixing to burn 
down the country. 1 don't know. I was 
drunk. I smashed.’ 

“So was L” Wengell said. “What got 
me about it, I think, was the initiation 
bit, when you knocked Ally Manton on 
his ass, when he grabbed my рїп... 
even after I knew it was a puton, I 
wanted to believe it wasn't . . . I want- 
ed to believe 1 had one real home in my 
life finally and all that . . . still, there 
were times, as you say. when I'd look at 
you and think that bastard has more 
money than he knows what to do with, 
and I'm up against the wall. . . ." 

The engines came down, the airplane 
slowed against the soft the flaps 
crept out of their holes, the seat-belt 
sign lighted. 

“The real thing about the bit on the 
lawn, the real thing, to be honest," Cole 
d, "I was scared, as I said a minute 
go. you'd go in the water, and it would 
be my fault. But I was scared of more 
than that. I knew if you went in the wa- 
ter, I had to go in the water. I dealt the 


hand, and I had to play it out. And I 177 


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didn't think anybody, going under that 
ice, was coming up 

“L thought, if I made the water, you'd 
stop," Wengell said. 

"No. Aud that scared me. But, you 
know something? Looking back, I don't 
sce why it did. Or I wish it hadn't 

“You do?” Wengell said. "You mean 
that?” 

“1m "I mean 
Nothing's happened since, in these thirty 
years, to give me any different id 

"There's nobody holding you, 
gell said. “Is there?” 

Cole turned around again. He smiled, 
іп а way. 

“I figure there are about fifty people 
holding me," he said. "How many hold. 
ing you?" 

I don't know," Wengell said. "Thir- 


Wen- 


You sec? I'd have liked it better, un. 
der the ice, when I could have, than the 
y I've got to go now, and nothing to 
say about it.” 

[he no-smoking sign came on. The 
turbines dropped another few hundred 
turns, It was all spread out below now. 


greens, browns. pinhead cars creeping 
on the freeways. 
So don't thank me.” Cole said. “I 


didn't do vou any favor." 
his seat belt. "Did vou ever go bad 


He cinched up 
һе 


said, “after you graduated?" 
No." Wengell said. “I never did 
"I did." Cole said. "Bad mistake, of 


course. Nothing the same. Hell, those 
were good years. Good people. Remem: 
ber how it was, you'd come into the 
house, you'd know where you were 
good people, good place to be hell 


you know what I mean, remember 
tha 

‘Sure, I remember that," Wengell 
said. 


‘All downhill from there.” Cole said. 
“Ther nothing in thirty-five percent of 
this, twenty percent of that, and all that 
crap. to plug а hole like that hole. For 
me. You? Waving that stick up there?" 

“I don't know," Wengell 
vt thought a great deal about it, 


said. "I 


The pin player came down the aisle. 
Wengell stood. He gave Cole his hand 
See you again, maybe," he said 
Every good reason to doubt it,” Cole 
said. “Nice this time, anyway. Nice talk- 
ing with you." 

The stewardess came by, checking 
belts. 

"Was your friend glad to see you?" 
she said. "Did he tell you what you 
wanted to kno 
"No," Wengell said. “Turned out to 
be somebody else. Would you believe it, 
somebody else?" 

She smiled, shook her head in mock 
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ALVAREZ (continued from page 141) 


managed to get through my first day 
without getting sick. I had fixed only a 
short time before being arrested, so that 
it wasn't until the following day that the 
real misery began. I had been put into a 
cell with a fellow who had been there 
almost two weeks, who was over the worst 
of his kicking. Probably the worst thing 
about kicking a habit cold turkey is being 
unable to sleep. I have talked to men 
who have gone three to four weeks with- 
out sleep. Nothing is quite so agonizing 
zs lying on a set of springs, frequently 
broken, that cut into you no matter how 
you try to pad them, squeaking with each 
breath you take. 

The first night I had slept fitfully, be- 
coming familiar with the night sounds of 
2 prison. The guard passing with flash- 
light and jingling keys. Snoring, groan- 
ing, passing wind, sleep talk, flushing 
toilets, phone ringing, muffled com 
tions, closing doors, church chime: 
traffic, shouts on the streets below and 
the constant noise of people sick and 
unable to sleep, moving and adjust 
seeking a more comfortable position 

My companion in the patrol wagon, 
whose name I had learned was Alvarez, 
cried, groancd, stopped the guard, beg- 
ging to see a doctor, asking for some- 
thing to ease his pain, He called for 
Maria, Rita, Lola, then banged against 
the bars and was told to “Shut up, for 
Christ's sake" "Lay down, you bastard, 
there are others uying to sleep.” “Come 
out swinging in the morning, you punk 
bastard, you ain't any sicker than 1 am." 

When I saw him the following morn- 
ing, he looked like a zombi. He stag- 
gered out of the cell with a blanket 
wrapped shawlfashion around his shou 
ders, his hair hanging down over his 
forehead and eyes. He was shivering and 
ng and racked with dry heaving, 
nable to vomit anymore, because there 
was no longer even green bile in his 
stomach. He kind of collapsed into a 
heap on the floor. remaining there the 
entire morning, while prisoners simply 
stepped over him. Once he managed to 
get up long cnough to wander down to- 
ward the end of the flats and call to the 
guard on duty, g to see the doctor. 
The guard told him to get the hell back 
inside, the doctor wouldn't be around 
until later. 

This occurred on a Saturday. He did 
see a doctor in the afternoon. The doc- 
tor gave him a paper cup full of aspi 
—about ten—which he swallowed all at 
once, afterward setting fire to the paper 
cup, holding it straight out in front of 
him, staring intently at the flame, half 
g something in Span- 
me burned his fingers 
id he dropped the charred remains of 
the cup on the floor, while the smile left 


ish, until the fl. 


his face, replaced by a look of sadness, 
Other prisoners had gathered around 
him—sort of watching him in awe— 
talking among themselves, suggesting he 
was crazy, 

On Sunday, he remained alone in a 
corner, once again doubled up in a tight 
knot. sitting on the floor, resting his 
head on his knees. Several Spanish- 
speaking prisoners tried talking with 
him, but he wouldn't answer or would 
look at them out of tearfilled eyes. He 
would only say, “I'm sick—I'm sick." 
Once the guard. came down and spoke 
to him. Alvarez just looked at him, not 
answering, until the guard walked away. 
Late in the afternoon, just before lock- 
up, he soiled and wet usclf all over. 
His cellmate refused to go into the cell 
with him until the guard ordered a 
couple of prisoners to take him up to 
the shower and wash the stink off of 
. They put him under an ice-cold 
shower, He stood there with his arms 
hanging at his sides, crying. His flesh 
hung on his body, exposing each boi 


"They let him out and he groped his way 
back to the cell, where he fell, exhaust- 
ed, on his bunk, his whole being racked 
by sobbing. That night he kept every- 
one awake, calling for God. 

Monday and Friday are always busy, 
because the prisoners have to make 
court appearances. On this particula 
Monday, Alvarez cellmate had to ap- 
pear in court during the afternoon ses- 
sion, Hc was latc retu 
were all locked in for the night when 
he got back. He came walking down thc 
line of cells until he reached his ow 
Suddenly, he yelled, “Jesus Christ —the 
guy is dead." 

Alvarez had died up. When they 
opened the cell and carried him out to 
put him on the stretcher, they had to 
straighten him out. He had d all 
folded up, his hands and arms wrapped 
around his legs, which were drawn up 
so his head could rest on his knees. Once 
again, he had soiled and wet himself. 

He was already dying when I first 
saw him. 


“Did you ever have a date with Herbie Goodrich?” 


179 


PLAYBOY 


180 


PLAYBOY FORUM (continued from page 71) 


divorces is to reduce the number of 
marriages (since no unwed couple has 
ever succeeded іп obtaining а bona fide 
divorce). 

1 propose that a law be passed pre- 
yenting any couple from marrying be- 
fore living together for at least one усаг. 
As it is difficult to legislate mores, I pro- 
pose also that clergymen support such 
action by denouncing marriage prior to 
a year's cohabitation as a mortal sin. 


This solution not only would de- 
escalate divorce but also would radically 
reduce the disrespect of the sanctity of 


marriage exhibited whenever two virtual 
strangers are permitted to wed. For, re- 
gardless of how long the courtship. two 
people who wed prior to living together 
are, at the time of their marital union, 
little more than strangers. 

Before technological advances made 
possible adequate safeguards against un- 
wanted pregnancy and V. D.. there was 
some justification for premarital chastity. 
Today, however, thanks to the discoveries 


“Slowly she began to unbutton her blouse. . . . 


of science, no good excuse remains for 


permitting people who hardly know each 
other to wed. 
Now that sociologists justly worry 


about the world overpopulating itself, a 
further advantage of this new law bc- 
comes clear it would reduce the birth 
rate by delaying the date of, and reduc- 
ing the rate of, marriage: 
Lawrence La Fave, Ph.D. 
Associate Professor of Sociology. 
Indiana State University 
Terre Haute, Indiana 


CONTRACEPTION WITH ZIP 

A religious organization doesn't get to 
be one of the oldest in the world with- 
out a high degree of cleverness: and, 
despite the Pope's prohibitive attitude to- 
ward birth control, the Catholic Church 
is no exception. Witness this article ] read 
recently in the Jesuit magazine America: 


Royal Institute for the Study of Sex 
and Suicide (Gonadsbérge, Sweden) 


» 


—A final solution to the vexing 
problem of birth control among 
Catholics appeared imminent today 
with the announcement of the de- 
velopment, by two Swedish scientists, 
of à new pill called ZIP (short for 
Zipchloamoxylinic acid, the chemi- 
cal foundation of the drug). ZIP, ac- 
cording to its discoverers, replaces the 
normal sexual urge in human beings 
with an irresistible urge to indulge 
in violent exercise. It generally mani- 
fests itself in a desire to run around 
objects (eg, buildings, gymnasi- 
ums, ball diamonds, ctc.), although 
it may take a variety of mutant 
forms (c.g. the desire to do push- 
ups, chin oneself, chop wood, do 
somersaults or climb poles), depend- 
ing on the personality and back- 
ground of the individual. 

“The only contraindication so 


far,” said Dr. Lars Svetsaks, co- 
discoverer of the pill “is the 
culty in determining individual 

- The theory, of course, is 


that the person exercises until he 
loses all desire to do anything but 
drop over. Unfortunately, a few of 
our subjects with overdeveloped 
sexual appetites have dropped dead 
from overexertion. This, of course, 
is rather disconcerting to the rescarch- 
er. It is important, therefore, that 
ZIP be administered only under the 
watchful eye of the physician, Our 
control groups indicate not a single 
pregnancy among 1300 ZIP users 
over a period of a year. A side bene- 
ft is the development of several 
runners who should set new records 
i forthcoming Olympic games. 
Sweden will no doubt dominate all 
longdistance events. H's really too 
bad they don't have events in somer- 
saulting and pole climbing. We'd win 
those, too. . . - 

Catholic theologians 
been consulted 


have 
stated that they 
could see mo conilict between ZIP 
and traditional Catholic decırin 
“Weve always told young people 
to take а few turns around the gym 


who 


whenever they . . . ah . . . when- 
ever the . . . ah . . . pressure 
builds up," said one eminent 
spokesman. "As far as I can sec, 
this is just scientific verification of 
one of our basic teachings, One 
never ceases to m vel at how 


science ultimately verifies the an- 
cient truths. 

Swift approval of ZIP is expect- 
ed from the Vatican, although cer- 
tain conservati Catholic sources 
bave already labeled the use of the 
drug as ide" and a direct 
contradiction of the command to go 
forth, increase and multiply. 

One observer, however, 
ZIP as the final solution to 


асе эш 


hailed 
the 


problem of priests who want to get 
married, "Won't hurt their waist- 
lines, either," he winked. 


This highly amusing puton is the 
product of the satirical (dare I say fer- 
tile?) brain of P. J. Laux, director of 
the Canisius College library. 

Walter Fidman 
Wilmington, Delaware 


REPEAL ALL ABORTION LAWS 

We must put an end to all abortion 
laws. Liberalization is insufficient, espe- 
cially when onc considers that total re- 
peal of abortion laws would produce the 
following benefits: 

The increased number of abortion 
requests would make the medical commu- 
nity aware of the need for extensive con- 
uaception and sterilization programs, 
and this long-standing need would at 
last be responded to. 

Illegal abortions would almost disap- 
pear. Most abortions would be performed 
in hospitals that, by their standards of 
safety, show proper regard for “the 
sanctity of human life." 

‘The status of women would be im- 
proved, because each would be allowed 
to regulate her own bodily functions. 
(No woman should have to plead a case 
to obtain an abortion.) 

Mental health would improve, be- 
cause sane attitudes toward sex would 
evolve as a result of lessened anxiety 
about unwanted pregnancy. 

Poverty would diminish, since families 
would be smaller and better suited to 
their incomes. An important side benefit 
would be happier homes. 

The era of wanted children would ar- 
rive at last. Almost every child would be 
planned and joyfully anticipated. 

Appreciable amounts of public funds 
would be saved, because there would be 
less need to wage war on poverty and to 
provide welfare support. 

As these primary results spread. their 
beneficial eflect throughout our society, 
the general rise in happiness would be 
incalculable. Is it any wonder that so 
many physicians and clergymen favor 
the complete repeal of abortion laws? 

H. B. Munson, M. D. 
Rapid City, South Dakota 


CAPOTE AND THE WARREN REPORT 

Surprise, surprise! Just a few short 
months ago, in his March interview, Tru- 
man Capote told rrAvuov, “The Warren 
Report is correct. Oswald, acting alone, 
Killed the President. And that's it.” 
Capote, like Dwight MacDonald before 
him, inperiously said "the last word on 
ihe Warren Report" only to develop a 
bad case of hiccups upon suddenly 
swallowing his final verdict. 

Capote now acknowledges that the 
Dallas assassination may have been a 
conspiracy, after all. According to Jack 
Gould, who in June in his New York 


“God, Gloria! It's 


Times TV column described Capote's 
ce on the Johnny Carson show: 
“Mr, Capote adroitly argued that there 
was a possibility all three assassinations 
were part of one large conspiracy. 
Mr. Capote threw out the conspiratorial 
concept and then deftly backtracked 
that it might not be so.” He was moved 
to reverse himself as to the sacrosanctity 
of the Warren Report by the appalling 
of Dr. Martin Luther 


n пої by his examination of the official 
records of the Warren Commission. 


Capote's change of heart is uninformed, 
no less than was his е r orthodoxy, 
and evidences merely the same disdain for 
[а and evidence. I am therefore. not 


to the camp of the 
Report. Nor have I formed an opinion 
about the two latest assassinations, since 
the evidence remains fragmentary and 
uncer! 
I would only point out that it would 
be graceful if Mr. Capote, һа 
vanced to the point of conceding the 
ibility of conspiracy in the D: 
assination, would now retract his de- 
scription of some of the critics of the 
Warren Report a bunch of vultures 
[that] has discovered that pecking at the 
carrion of a dead President is an easy 
way to make a living,” Sauce for the goose 
is, after all, sauce for the vulture. 
Г Meagher 
New York, New York 
Mrs. Meagher is the author of “Sub- 
ject Index to the Warren Report and 


Hearings & Exhibits” and “Accessories 


my husband!” 


After the Fact: The Warren Gommis- 
sion, the Authorities and the Report; 
two widely acclaimed studies of the 
“Report of the President's Gommission 
on the Assassination of President. John 
F. Kennedy." 


COURT RULINGS AND THE POLICE 

We challenge the assertion of Police 
Chief Edward S. Kreins (The Playboy 
Forum, April) that U.S. Supreme Court 
decisions have shackled law enforcement 
Police authorities of several major cities 
agree that recent decisions of the Court 
have not reduced the conyiction rate. 
Note that the FBI, which had to work 
with these restrictive rules years before 
the states’ laws were changed, has a con 
viction rate of over 90 percent. 

Where Court decisions have had any 


been good. In Detre in 1966, the po- 
lice started warning murder suspects of 
their legal rights, as required by the Mi- 
randa decision. There were actually more 
confessions than before, but they were 
considered essential in only 9.3 percent of 
the homicide cases—all because of sharper 
sleuthing before arrest. Former Californi: 
Governor Edmund Brown states that po- 
lice are doing better work since the 
search-and-seizure decisions that in- 
vestigations are producing more guilty 
pleas as a result of this work. 

Those few police chiefs who still 
blame the Supreme Court for lack of 
police effectiveness are ignoring the real 
problems—their own inefficiency and 
their communi " indifference, The 


s 


policeman of today is often undertrained 181 


PLAYBOY 


182 


id for the skill required in 
profession: He spends two thirds of 
his time on noncrime duties and half of 
the arrests he makes each month are for 
minor crimes, such as drunkenness, va- 
grancy and loitering, or for harmless 
breaches of moral statutes against gam- 
bling, drug taking and various kinds of 
sexual activity mentioned in your reply 
to Chief Kreins, Investigation of major 
crime occupies few of the policeman's 
hours. 

Shouldn't our law-enforcanent lead- 
€rs contend with the real causes of 
incfüciency, rather than suggest that we 
sacrifice essential rights guarantecd by 
the Constitution? 


"Thomas МсА Пее 
Stephen Н. Snelgrove 
Salt Lake City, Utah. 


GUN CONTROL 

Because of the rash of assassinations 
and attempted killings not only of pub- 
lic officials but also of private citizens in 
the United $ the past five years, 
this country needs stronger, much strong- 
cr, measures for controlling firearms. 

Ultimately, the best idea would be to 
outlaw guns completely for all private 
dtizens. A gun is nothing but an instru- 
ment of death; it is made for nothing else, 
whether the object destroyed 
nonhuman. Gone are the times when 
man had to hunt wild animals for food. 
Now he hunts for sport, but what kind 
of sport is it to drop a deer at 500 yards 
with a high-powered, scope-equipped 
rifle? The days should also be gone when 
a man needs a gun to protect himself and 
his ily from enemies; they would be 
gone if firearms were not equally avail 
able to the enemies in question. 

By gathering up the mi of guns 
now held by private citizens in this 
country and by making the law so 
stringent as to prevent the acquisition of 
more firearms, we may possibly prevent 
ndreds of murders and accidental 
aths. 

Needless to say, the assassination of 
мог Robert F. Kennedy precipitates 
this plea for action. We did nothing but 
ieve when President John F. Kennedy 
was killed; we were shocked again when 
Malcolm X was killed; we wcre fright- 
ened when Dr. Martin Luther King was 
killed. Now Senator Kennedy is dead. 


long can thi 
With local and stau 
the Federal Government working to- 
gether, we must come up with the very 
best gun-control program possible. This 
must be one area in which lobbyists are 
not allowed to control legislators or to 
write bills to the detriment of the major- 
ity of Americans. 
anklin A. Weston 
C. Robert Morgan 
Rockaway Park, New York 


As a result of the assassination of Sen- 
ator Robert F. Kennedy, the press, the 
ral public and the Government are. 
calling for antigun legislation. Some has 
been passed and more may follow. This 
trend is based on blaming crime on the 
weapon rather than on the criminal who 
uses it. Guns ате merely convenient. If 
they were not available, the same sick 
element in our society could do the same 
tragic work with bombs, knives, poison 
or other lethal objects. 

Gun ownership is а serious crime in 
many countries. In New York City and 
in England, gun registration is in force. 
But has there been a decrease in violent 
crime in these and other places? No! 
tead of registration, therelore, I 
fecl it would be better to pass legislation 
declaring the use of any firearm in con- 
junction with the commission of a crime 
as an especially serious offense with, 
perhaps, an automatic doubling of nor- 
mal punishment. "The idea would be to 
make the criminal use of guns so "ex- 
pensive" to the c al that he would 
return to less lethal weapons, such as 
clubs, knives or perhaps the latest Brit- 
ish rage—acid throwing. Such legislation 
would get closer to the root of the prob- 
lem by striking at the one percent who 
use guns criminally, rather that at the 
99 percent of gun owners who are hon- 
est, law-abiding citizens. 

Dr. R. B. Sanders 
University of Nottingham 
Nottingham, England 

We don’t think proposals for firearms. 
control and registration are any more 
“ат ип” than laws requiring automo- 
bile registration are “anticar” These 
mild proposals attempt only to make it 
more difficult for the immature, deranged 
or criminal to oblain firearms. 

Moreover, we don’t agree that effective 
measures aimed at controlling the avail- 
ability of guns would fail to reduce the 
number of killings in America. To say 
that crime-prevention efforts should be 
directed not at the weapon but at the 
criminal who wields it overlooks the fact 
that the gun is the most effective all-round 
tool ever devised for individual killin, 
Bombs, knives, clubs, poison and the like 
are simply nol as easy 10 use mor as т 
liably lethal. Chicago police and hospital 
statistics reveal that an attack with intent 
to kill is five times more likely to cause 
death when a gun is used as compared 
with a knife. According to statistics com- 
piled by the U.S. Department of Health, 
Education and Welfare, between the 
years 1900 and 1966, guns were used in 
260436 murders (more than half the total 
murders during that period), 360,217 sui- 
cides and 138,265 accidental deaths—a 
grand and inglorious total of 767.918. 
Compare this with the 386,000 American 
troops killed. in battle during the same 
period—a period that included two world 
wars, the Korcan police action and the 
early part of the Vietnam conflict. 


Contrary to your assertions, statistics 
support the view that regulation of guns 
does correlate with a comparatively low 
rate of violent crime. For example, in 
countries with strict gun-control laws, the 
death rate from firearms (as well as the 
overall homicide rate) is only a fraction 
of that of the U.S. In England and 
Wales, the gun death rate is 1/55th of 
ours; West Germany's is 1/23rd; Japan's, 
1/65th; and the Netherlands’, 1/90th. 

As for New York City, where the state's 
Sullivan Law requires a police permit for 
anyone buying or owning a handgun, 
only 25 percent of homicides are com- 
mitted by gun, as compared with 72 per- 
cent in Dallas and 65.9 percent in Phoenix 
(where there ате virtually no regulations). 

You make the iffy assumption that 
people would turn to other weapons if 
deprived of guns. In all instances where 
gun control is strict, however, the over- 
all murder rate is comparatively low 
(New York's, for example, is lowest 
among the ten largest U. S. cities), indi- 
cating that there is no mass resort to other 
weapons when guns are unavailable. 

Your idea that penalties for crimes 
committed with firearms should be 
stiffer, with the accompanying implica- 
tion that the 99 percent of “honest” gun 
owners do not need regulations, reflects 
the myth circulated by organized oppo- 
nents of gun control—that most gun 
murders ave committed by armed crim- 
inals. The fact is that 80 percent of 
the murders committed in the U.S. are 
perpetrated by normally law-abiding 
citizens. These killings occur between 
friends, neighbors and family members. 
Thus, the type of legislation you propose 
would relate only to a relatively small 
percentage of potential homicides. And it 
might not have a great effect on them, at 
that, since—according to modern crimi- 
nologists—the threat of punishment does 
not significantly deter violent crimes. 

Those who support gun-control legisla- 
tion do not “blame” the weapon; they 
recognize that the easy availability of the 
weapon makes possible carnage in the 
U.S. on a scale unknown in other eco- 
nomically advanced countries. The blame 
for this slaughter lies with those whose 
shortsightedness puts this weapon into 
potentially homicidal hands. 

“The Playboy Forum” offers the oppor- 
tunity for an extended dialog between 
readers and editors of this publication 
on subjects and issues raised in Hugh 
M. Hefner's continuing editorial series, 
“The Playboy Philosophy." Four booklet 
reprints of “The Playboy Philosophy,” 
including installments 1-7, 8-12, 13-18 
and 19-22, are available at 50€ per book- 
let, Address all correspondence on both 
“Philosophy” and “Forum” to: The 
Playboy Forum, Playboy Building, 919 N. 
Michigan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611. 


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THE PERILOUS PLIGHT 


(continued from page 9) 


i. It is wrong to steal caviar if you 
are starving, when you could have stolen 
bread just as easily 

5. It is wrong to steal caviar when you 
are tired of bread. 

6. It is wrong to send vour children 
out to steal if you are all starving, even 
il they are better at stealing than you are. 

Let us now consider the answers to 
these questions. In France, before the 
Revolution, the answer was true in every 


case. At that time, law, morality, religion, 
the bureaucracy and the king were all at 
the service of the propertied classes. Never- 
theless, number two was regarded as a 
litle less wue than the others, because a 
man's love for his family was given by 
God so that the family might be a stable 
vehide for the orderly conveyance of 
property; and an attack on the family 
was Гей, indirectly, to be an attack on 
pioperty. 

In the United States, where food has 
always been abundant, number one and 
number two are false; but because of our 
Puritan heritage, number three is true, 
although now somewhat "sicklied o'er 
with doubt" and number four is un- 
doubtedly true. Stealing money to buy 
bread or caviar has always been frowned 
upon, Millers, bakers and wheat farmers 
argue, with some justice, that “Yeah, let 
‘em steal our bread . . . but don't let 
"em steal the money to buy it!” is unfair. 
Since all they can offer in return is "Let 
"em steal cake,” they сап be ignored, The 
real reason stealing money is 
upon is that it may be used to purchase 
luxuries, such as champagne to go with 
the caviar, rather than virtuous Spartan 
bread. Among the rich, number five is 
true; but among the poor, it tends to be 
an iffy proposition. How tired of bread 
are you? This is a reflection of the Puri- 
tan notion that God rewards the elect 
in this world and the next, so that a rich 
man has ап oddson chance to get into 
heaven, despite the New Testament. If 
vou are poor, it is God's will; and you 
shouldn't be enjoying yourself, especially 
at other people's expense. 

In the Orient, and generally wherever 
people expect to be supported by their 
children, number six is false. A trick que 
tion, it deals with the morality of theft 
and the morality of filial duty. The Fifth 
Commandment is: Honor thy father and 
thy mother. It is the children's duty to 
go out and steal for their parents. In the 
United States, however, number six is 
true. The parents are expected to go out 
and bring home the groceries until they 
are pensioned off. Filial duty is unheard 
of, and the children go through college 
monstrous expense and then complain 
because the old man left such a small 


frowned 


Let us now consider sexual morality 


and where one draws thc line between 
moral and immoral behavior. Since this 
comes at once to specific, if hypothetical, 
cases, we shall consider Sir George and 
the dragon. 

Briefly, the dragon (named Kandron) 
was about to make his annual meal of 20 
virgins gathered from around the country- 
side, when he was interrupted by Sir 
George coming to their rescue, Kandron 
and Sir George are a bit afraid of each 
other, despite the fact that the knight has 
slain other dragons and the dragon has 
devoured other knights. So they make ап 
agreement: Kandron will start eating at 
one end of the line, while Sir George will 
start defloration proceedings at the other 
end, and they will continue until no 
ns remain. 
questions involved are quite 
and leaving aside the question 
of the morality of the compromise, which 
is not heroic but not morally detestable 
either, we find that ordering the virgin 
line is a matter of some difficulty. Do we 
arrange them by weight, so that the drag- 
‘on stars on the fattest, or by beauty, so 
that the knight will be inspired to fan- 
tastic feats of arm? The tech: 
of the question depends upon. 
physical prowess and upon 
appetite and abilities as a trencher beast. 
Clearly, the dragon is interested in making 
the best meal possible, while the knight 
wishes to save the most maidens. The 
most moral virgin line would therefore 
appear to bc ordered by weight, with 
Kandron starting at the fat end, How- 
ever, the most moral arrangement is the 
‘one that will permit the knight to maxi- 
mize his score of virgins, so beauty must 
also be considered. This, of course, pre- 
sumes an honest bargain. Kandron may 
attack the knight at any time, just as Sir 
George may seck to slay the dragon, 
should he catch it off guard. Discounting 
the extreme cases where Sir George dallies 
with one while the dragon devours the 
others so that he might slay the engorged 
beast on its postprandial circumgyration, 
or where Kandron picks at his food until 
the knight comes to him, too feeble to 
stand erect, we find that the critical moral 
question for Sir George is where to stop. 

Consider: The virgin line has been 
arranged by Sir George so that he starts 
with the three thinnest virgins, followed 
by the four most beautiful, followed by 
the balance in decrea 
The k involved 
starts with the skinny virgins while he is 
fresh and switches to the pretty ones when 
he begins to flag. The fat virgins are to 
impede the dragon's progress as the end 
of the line is reached. We have assumed 
that no significant number of ns will 
literally preter de We 
have also discounted the Buddhist moral- 
ity that says: Do hann ю no living thing. 
By Buddha, it is more moral to deflower a 


single virgin than to slay the dragon and 
save all 20. 

In any event, the critical case comes 
when Sir George has finished number 
seven and the dragon is part way through 
number nine, leaving only number eight, 
the fattest virgin. Morality here fades into 
practicality, for if Kandron is well ad- 
vanced, it is time for Sir George to leave. 
It is а serious matter to attempt the def- 
Joration of your cighth virgin of the 
day with a stil-hungry dragon snufiling 
around your back. Still . . . what consti- 
tutes "well advanced"? If Kandron has 
rcached the armpits, why kiss number 
eight goodbye? If he is only at the knees, 
Sir George should rally his forces and 
“Once more unto the breach, good 
friends!” In both cases, his action is moral. 
However, what is to be done when the 
dragon is at number nine’s waist? In this 
case, the line that divides moral from 
immoral beha is the waistline; and 
when one stands at the border line, moral 
decisions are made for extraneous and 


frivolous reasons. In this case, like most 
others, morality will be judged by the 
outcome. If Sir George abandons number 
eight, he will always blame himself some- 
what. If he saves her but gets caten 
himself, he might as well have fought 
Kandron in the beginning. Only a totally 
actory outcome afford moral 
action, and the deci must be 
made at once. This is typical of morally 
ambiguous cases, and the correct response 

ination. Observe that if Sir 
a few minutes, the dragon. 
pits and the matter re- 
ly, if you can put off 


long 
matte 
out of your hands entirely. ‘The logical 
justification for procrastination is that it is 
better not to act than to act wrongly, and 
acting wrongly includes doing the wrong 
deed and doing the right decd for the 


‘wrong reason, 


185 


PLAYBOY 


186 


MR. SWIFT ‘continued тот page 101) 


that she had 
Presbyterian. 

Daddybaby got home, changed into his 
Nehru jacket and joined Mommababy on 
the terrace. 

“1 think the old geck's smoking pot,” 
he said, sniffing the a 

Mommababy handed him a sangria. 
"Nonsense! I don't want to think about 
him or that awful thing over there. 
Well, what did vou do today to change 
the shape of things?" She tickled Daddy- 
baby's chin. 

І got my tie caught in the Xerox 
machine and all the contracts came out 
covered with flowers.” 

“Groovy,” Mommababy sang out. 

"Where's. Frankiebaby?” 

"Don't mention him, cither. 1 am so 
. I lost my temper and sent him to 
hout supper." 

“Freud say 

Mommababy cast а scathing look at 
her spouse, "Freud is a square. Remem- 
ber, we learned that on Ше Coast." 
bout prepuberty repression 
rt help them! Anyway, look 
where permissiveness got my little brother 
Erwin. You haven't forgouen that, have 
уои? 

Не hadn't. 


remained ап undercover 


"To think that no onc stopped that 

poor child. For the love of Allen Gi 
berg, 1 only ten at the time and I 
could have told them it was all 
that the boy should have bcen stopped. 
Bur no! We sat around having dinner 
while Erwin sawed away at one leg of 
the table, There he was, buzzi 
hacking through the heavy 
"They all pretended that it w: 
pening. By the time we got through 
ith salad, the entire table was wob- 
bling. Not one word was said by Father 
or Mother. Just after dessert, the tra 
edy happened. The whole damn thir 
hed on top of him. Killed him 
ni Poor Erwin." Mommababy 
burst into tears. 
Now, that’s an old b 
Let's think about the good things—flow- 
beards, s Daddy. 
baby looked dreamy. 

"Yes," agreed Mommababy. “And trips 
апа pot—all those lovely things в.с." She 
felt better immediately, so proud that she 
had remembered to use the initials. 

Alter dinner, they popped into bed to 
watch television. Controversy proved to. 
be a re ing and stimulating hour. 
Gore Vidal and Jacqueline Susann dis- 
cused the literary merits of Myra 


now, 


leburns and beads. 


Ж Grown 


“Гое never seen greater rivalry 
between two schools!” 


Breckinridge and Valley of the Dolls. 
Before turning out the light, Momma- 
baby wanted to make sure F 
was tucked in for the night. 
"No. Don't be overprotective. 
baby was firm. 
The lights hadn't been e 
for more than 20 minutes when an 
shattering noise filled their room. A pen- 
etrating pounding began, as though 
thousands of pneumatic drills were work- 
g full blast outside the house. It was fol 
lowed by an enormous blast. Two flashes 
of light illuminated the room and another 
great explosion rocked the whole house. 
A smaller one ensued and set the bed to 
rocking back and forth. 
Mommababy and Daddybaby clutched 
each other in the darkness 
"Frankie!" shrieked the woman, bound- 
ing out of bed. She rushed into her son's 
room. 
"He's 
as on 


пе!” she called. Daddybaby 
y outdoors and they 
bumped into cach other as they scram 
bled out onto the terrace. 

At the far end of the pool, there was 
a great gaping hole in the fence. The 
hollyhocks were gone, the air stank of 
rotten eges and burning cloth. The pool 
was littered with straw, leaves of 
zines and a dead mouse. Two bicycle 
wheels rolled off the roof of the hou: 
and dattered to the ground behind 
them. When they reached the scorched, 
smoking remains of the fence that had 


his w 


separated the two properties, they looked 
up 


Two bright lights moved into th 
sky above them. Mommababy heard 
her son's voice yelling with d All 
circuits A-OK!" 

In the smoldering area that had been 
Mr. Swift's yard, they saw two burning 


patches, both octagonal in shape. Over- 
head, the two lights were getting smaller 


and smaller, as they soared upward 
Jo something!” screamed Momma- 
baby. “I did not bring up my boy to 
become an unidentified flying object.” 


“What a trip!" Daddybaby gasped. 
At Cape Kennedy, a messa 
through. “Ihe UFO and the baby satel 


lite have passed into outer space. 

"Did you make conc?" The q 
tion aackled in the supersonic fighter 
р! lot's ear 
Ve heard someone singing, ГИ Take 
You Home Again, Kathleen and the. . . ." 

There was some at the 
control center. 


ings. The first sound 
ed like an old man, Almost blasted шу 
cars He shouted, "TOM SWIFT AND 
THE REMARKABLE MOON PROJ 
ECT" ... then. ü 
There was more static. “Then wha 
“A kid yelled, ‘Over and out, ba 


RITE OF LOVE 


(continued from page 98) 
make you think butter would not melt 
in their mouths.” 

"I don't ca f there isn’t you I don't 
want anybody. No one could ever take 
your pli 
"O God 
Are you cross." 

“No no I'm not cross. Just cross eyed 
How are you to understand. For months 
«| months. I've wanted to just seize 
d hug you and hold you to me. And I 
ew, I knew this would happen. That 
we never should have been left alone. 
That all it needed was bumping into 
you at night in the hall or just the nosey 
moments in the evening when you get 
long faced when I tell you not to read 
my letters. And each time you sulked I 
had to do everything I could to stop 
myself hugging and kissing you. Don't 
you see how it's been for me. O but 
don't you get cross now." 

m not cross. 
"You are." 
"I'm not. 
“O Balthazar. Don't you sec. To you 

the world is just as you find it. Just as 

cach day it’s time to get up, to dress, to 
cat, to sleep. The trip to school. And to 

Paris. And here we kind of live in a lit- 

tle estate all of our own. Larking about 

in each other's hair. But the world is not 
like that. One day you'll see a creature 
without whom you think you cannot 
live. And she'll throw her arms up and 

5 about and raise her skirt on her 

legs. And. you'll like what you sce. And 

she'll look beautiful and flutter her eyes. 

Put rouge on her checks. And tell you 

nice little lies. And squeal when you feel 

her breast. And as she shrinks away 
she'll say come hither come thither and 
do not dither dear blond beautiful Bal- 

1 O God shell ger her bloody 

hands into your hair. And you'll marry 

her. And she will be up to her elbows 
ing in your fortune when she 


For soap and saddles and suits 
and rose. bouquets." 

*] would never marry a girl like that. 
And who would put rouge on her 
cheeks." 

“L hope when all the years have gone 
by. And I'm retired in my little country 
cottage somewhere in Devon. With all, 1 
hope. my many emoluments. That you'll 
come and see me. And put your hat on 
a hook and a cane against the wall. You 
may even be tall and straight and gray. 
And bow as I sit in black and lace near 
my fire. With probably the same old 
embroidery frame. And youll take up 
and kiss my hand. О God let me kiss 
you, kiss you. While you're still here 
here here 

The night hushed and still Faint 
breeze out on the garden tree leaves. 
Paris cools in darkness. The slow slow 


pillow talk 


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NAME 


ADDRESS. 


city STATE ZIP CODE 


Playboy Club Credit Key No. OOOO OOOO O 


Playboy Cl 
Boston, Ch 


are located in the following cites: Atlanta, Baltimore, 
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187 


PLAYBOY 


186 О it's just talk, men n 


sounds that transport over the city. A 
shout, And listen, a strange answer. 
Some nighttime philosopher advising 
himself. To avoid hunger perhaps and a 
veadmill day. Like the shadowy men 
sianding inside the cathedral doors in all 
their silent poverty. Where do they go 
at night. And Bella said there they are 
on the benches and in winter they will 
lie on the Métro grating. To curl up in 


wait for another day. And the day Bella 
said Jet's, when I said why don't we go 


оп a tr As we stood outside the 
building of the Légion d'Honneur as the 
sun shone down the Rue de Belle- 
chasse. She made big eyes on the street 
and made me laugh. And said maybe 
we should take a picnic and never come 
back again. We two. Go in search of 
the holy grail. And we go. Don't we go. 
Into the great Gare d'Orsay. And I 
looked up at her flowing hair as all the 
eyes watched her trotting by. Searching 
wide eyed between the wondering citi- 
zens. Under the darkened glass roof and 
monstrous tiled walls. First stop St. M 

chel and through e d'Austerlitz. And 
when we got off the train at a town, any 
town. Brétigny. There were kids with a 
flag marching through the street. Blow. 
ing bugles and workmen putting up col- 
cored lights for a fete. When it starred 
to rain. Houses shuttered up. Aud cur- 
tains elsewhere twitching. As we walked 
hand in hand down the street. And Bel- 
la said no holy grail Fm sure will be 
found, we are Balthazar in a most unin- 
viting town. Would we ever live here. 
Yes with you. With you I would too. 
And back on the train in a carriage with 
three. Of gentlemen. Who stood and 
turned and sat and sniffed as Bella 
crossed her legs. And they said ah we 
are well fixed, I have just come out of 
the hospital and I am very well placed, 
to live just far enough outside Paris 
where it is country and close enough 
too. Each of them their eyes dropping 
on Bella's knecs and looking when they 
could at her face. And when they left 
the carriage and in the corridor, one 
my God if I were a young man 
what I wouldn't give to do what I could 
do to that one, and I Monsieur would 
not need to be young to do what I 
would do to that one. And we came 
back through the station and the urine 
smell. A man passed and said to Bella 
ah up there the unmarried employees 
live. And she said why tell me. Ah 
Mademoiselle because to have such 
beauty passing so close by I feel some- 
how that it is justice you should know. 
And we went to a restaurant up through 
the streets. Where she sat and I thought 
and thought of the men on the train 
what did they mean what they would do 
to that one. What would they do. And 
Bella let me have a full glass of wine. 
What would they do to you those men, 
ver grow tired of 


flattering themselves. We raced and ran 
all the way back up the stairs and into 
her room. And Bella is this what they 
do. When 1 put my hand here and feel 
your breast the way it swells up from 
the rest of you. And I don't know yet 
what you've got down there in your 
secret hair. Yes dearest it's what they 
would do. They would kiss me only I'm 
kissing you. They would grab me tight 
only I'm grabbing you. And they would 
do what I'm telling you. Come Balt 
zur on top of me. On top. Like that. 
And never would I want you to be 
them. You're sweet and sweet. And my 
own loveliest litle man of mine. Get in 
between my legs. There. God it's so 
hard. ГШ guide you in. Don't worry don't 
worry. О God there you are, there you 
€. О God Balthazar. You have it up 
mc. And all the thoughts you never 

iew you'd know. Of some strange mir- 
ace happening to it there. In that part of 
her. Was it her. Like her face and teeth 
and hair. These speaking lips so close. 
Just step out of my brain and into hers. 
And hello where's the holy grail. Like 
rolling down in grass in D qns vun 
sweet smell of h 
up into a sky of chestnut blossoms. 
White white planets everywhe Bella. 
Have I donc it right. Yes yes. O Bella o. 
Bella please it's coming out of me, it 
coming out of me, hold me please. Yes 
yes my dearest let it come. Bella don't 
let me die. O please. And bleed away all 
my blood. O Balthazar 1 won't let you 
die or bleed away all your blood and 
God I'm dying too. In all the nooks and 
crannies and shadows of the sheets. 
Torn back from bodies one wild one 
pale. Her hand bumping and counting 
on my spine. And put my fingers on the 
hard bone behind her tiny ear. Your 
face Bella has your eyes closed. And 
you smile all around your mouth. Ever 
thing so still Save another long 
ry from the street philosopher. In search 
of the holy grail. And you went back 
up on your shoulders and groaned and 
groaned. Bella it wasn’t unhappy was it. 
No no not unhappy. you silly boy. 1 
worried you were in pain, you went all 
so stiff and shook. Sweet that’s the way 
itis when it happens, with happiness, 
happiness. Why then do you have tears 
your eyes. ] don't know why. Tell me 
why. Bella. You must. Tell me why 
you're crying and you are. And her el- 
bows pointed out into the dark as she 
held up hands. Tips of fingers across her 
brows, palms flat on her checks showing 
just her lips and nose. I know Fm 
crying. And uy to lift her fingers. О 
please what's the matter Bella, please 
tell me what's the matter. O Bella what 
has happened to you, what have I done. 
I love you so, I do I love you so dearly 
so and now I've done something, please 
speak and don't cry. Please speak. I 
can't I can't. The mattress trembling. 


ay and stop and stare 


now 


Her stuttering sobs. Bella you're fright- 
ening me, please whats the mauer 1 
won't be frightened if you tell me. О 
Balthazar I wish I were dead. I wish so 
desperately I were dead. О Bella you 
must not wish you were dead. You must 
be alive with me. Let me see under your 
hand. Bella. I always know what's in 
your eyes. Please let me sce under your 
hand. No. Please and then I can make 
you better again and dry up your tc 
Come you snuggle in Bella now, I'll take 
care of you and hold your head and 
ke you nice again. Maybe you have a 
little stomach ache. Little men with ham- 
mers who jump around in your belly 
tinkering and banging on your pipes 
that's what you used to say to me when 
I had a tummy pain. You see Bella I 
make a cozy corral of arms for you to be 
in with me. Don't you fecl safe. No 
harm will ever get you now. Balthazar T 
desperately wish it were so. I like you 
holding me and I know that everything. 
you say is real and is true and what you 
believe, you must know that I do. But it 
just cannot be. 

“Bella J love you and have told you 
everything in my heart.” 

“I know you have, I know you have." 

“I will love you through all of my 
life." 

“You can't Balthazar, you can’t.” 

"I can E can." 

"Ive got to give my notice to your 
mother. I'm twenty four, twenty four." 

“You'll not give й 

“I have to. We're sure to get caught 
at this 

“We won't we will go to hotels.” 

“O Chris 

“And I will go to my lawyers for the 
money. 1 like doing this to vou." 

^O Lord, But for God's sakes Baltha- 
must never never breathe a 
word of this. Never never no matter 
what happen: 

“Why not if we're in love.” 

“Now listen to me, people just won't 
understand. You would never be that 
foolish would you." 

"Yes 

"O God please now Balthazar Im 
very serious. This is no joke. You would 
not want to sce me ruined and that's 
what would happen if ever а word of 
this were breathed. To anyone. 

"Promise then you'll stay.’ 

T cane 

“Yes you can. 

“But what can we do together now. I 
mean you sce its all different now." 

“You can teach me more about 
antiques.” 

“You know more than I do.” 

“Well then I'll teach you. Bella I won't 
tell anyone. But you must not go. I want 
everything to stay just like today. 

"I know swect but dearest, things 
change. Everything will be different in 
just a very few years. And you'll not 


zar you 


“Personally, I think for a love seat it's awfully short.” 


PLAYBOY 


care at all that I'm gone. Now hush. 
Listen. Balthazar, nothing stays the same. 
I won't and you won't. Even a day can 
come when I really will be dead. Yes. I 
will" 

“If that day ever comes, all I will do 
as long as I live is remember you. I 
would build you a big monument too. 
In the Passy cemetery, I would have it 
have a big high roof. And it would be 
the grandest there was, With tall bronze 
doors. And inside І would have pictures 
of you and all your favorite flowers 
every day. I would come and sweep it 
out myself and. polish the way all those 
old ladies do. 


tie devil. I'm not dead 


“Only if you were.” 

“I should hope so. Now maybe it's a 

good idea if you get out of here." 
t's only just rung half past twelve. I 
heard it.” 
ather up all your 
Come on.” 

“No.” 

“You mischief." 

“Bella Bella I'm a mischief, 
what I am. A mischief.” 

“Push you out thei 

“Push, push.” 

“Stop stop get your hands away. Stop 
it Balthazar. O stop. O you've got to 
stop. O you really really must stop. You 
must, But o not yet. О God Balthazar. 
Not yet not yet.” 

Miss Hortense with her hard little 
knuckled fists dug into Balthazar's sides. 
Opened out her hands. And reached 
head to pull it smothering down upon 
her breasts. Cushion his silky blond face 
back and forth in all the milky softness. 
Her arms so tight around, And I press 
my sallow body to hers. To snake my 
own arms under and put them round 
her back. And I hold her now. More 
than she holds me. Why did God e 
her so much beauty and make her born 
before me. To give her years to flash 
teeth with love and laughter. And make 
me race and chase alter her and feel 
before she should go, her warm soft 
tongue in my mouth and whisper of rab- 
bit rabbit in my ear. I want to catch up. 
Ask you to wait for me. The most nicest 
people are always taken away. And Bel- 
la I feel I have climbed up on a dark 
and strange tree. Flowering dewy wet 
and new. Your bottom Bella turns up 
as you roll over on top of me. Down 
there on your big spacious mounds I can 
put my fingers pressing softly. Where 
the conductor tried to pinch. On that 
white bright sunny day under all the 
trees’ full greenery. And the hot silence 
against the stone walls along the Seine. 
Where we crossed the Pont Neuf and 
went down the dark stone steps to the 
Vert Galant and walked along the cob- 
bles and sandy path. The barges throb- 
bing by on the green gray river like 


that's 


190 your eyes. And we came to the point of 


this lide island land. Dark figures 
grouped together by the park wall. 
I said look Bella. A man and woman 
clutching a greasy gathering of belong- 
ings, lay next each other in rags. The 
sun burned down on their dirt and dust 
encrusted faces dried and cracking. 
"Foothless heads, lips drawn in over 
gums, strange purple swollen lips and 
mucous covered сусь. And before I 
could ask why. Were they so poor and 
why were they there. Bella said come 
along Balthazar we mustn't stay here. 
And I stood. Bella waiting. Three 
ragged men each with a bottle clutched 
in his blackened һм, me to stand 
over the sleeping couple. They began to 
kick them in the sides and head and 
bottom of their feet. And they awoke 
from sleep shielding their heads with 
raised tattered arms. And the kicks rained 
upon them and shouts, get out of our 
place. The man slowly struggled un- 
der the blows to his knees, his eyes 
blinking up into the sunshine. A foot 
smashed against his face and he fell for- 
ward as blood poured from both his 
eyes. "The woman clawed screaming at 
the striking feet. The dark legs closed in 
on her. They struck sending dust from. 
her ragged covered bosoms and she 
crumbled groaning to the ground. And 
as 1 stood there watching, the man and 
woman clutching at the sandy stony 
ground slowly began to crawl away. 
More blows raining on their backs and 
heads as they howled. Bella said you 
must not watch and pulled me by the 
апп. A day that grew gray and dark 
over Paris. And cast shadows through 
the museums, on the boats, and along 
ihe boulevards. In the passing Paris 
eyes were cunning monsters brooding. 
To lift aside some shallow gaiety and 
see all the writhing sewer fears. To wish 
to be back in England. Upon a green 
d day. The crack of a cricket 
bat, the choir voices of evensong. Prayer- 
ful hands and glowing altars. my 
head as it is now between Bellis soft 
neck and shoulder. Gone is my fever. I 
felt all these long days. And listen. An- 
other shout out on the streets. Hc looks 
for his mother. On a golden most nar- 
row day. To fit lips upon her breast. To 
lie quietly now on top of onc another. 
She's mine. No one will ever take her 
from me. The summer light comes up 
all over the sky. Bella it's morning. Yes 
dearest the sun came racing across the 
Ukraine over the Danube and valleys of 
the Rhone and Rhine. And it’s coming. 
in your window now. Yes. Up south 
over the Sei And Bella northward to 
Meu and Reims. And now across your 
naked golden legs. Do you hear the 
birds. I stayed h you the whole 
night. I'm glad you did. Hear the gar- 
denkeeper singing. Yes I do. Bella 
promise me you'll never forget this 
night. OF course 1 won't, go away now 
and brush your teeth. And I'll bring you 


breakfast. Bella I want to shout and sing 
and go dancing down the strect. Yes 1 
know, now really you must must go. But 
it’s nice. you were a boy when you came 
in last night. And I am happy for you. 

For 

Now 

Ош walks 

А man. 

And this waking and dying of all 
strange Sundays. Miss Hortense walking 
naked to the bath, barefoot on the par- 
quet. 

“Balthazar you're following me around 
like a litte dog and you must not do 
that after today. 
nd in the afternoon they went to 
Sèvres. Through all the rooms and gleam- 
ing cases of porc: And later by the 
Seine оп a grassy hill. Where fishermen 
sat with sleeves rolled up and elbows on 
their knees. Factory chimneys away on the 
sky. And back in Paris they walked up 
the steps across Rue Beaujolais and 
through the streets bchind the Bourse. 
They sat in a tiny Russian restaurant. 
And the wife cooked and the husband 
served and played the piano. And they 
had asparagus and steak tartar. 

Pushing shoving and peeking in and 
out they walized bick to the Palais Royal. 
And kissed behind the closed front door, 
And Bella lit а candle in her room and 
said you are getting your good innings 
Леса. And together they undressed. And 
danced and played. Bella did what she 
called the prismatic prance. And stood in 
front of her mirror as the candlelight 
shone, And said I dare you try and catch 
me. And I did. After all the games. And 
we lay locked and moist in bed. 

Until the sound of an opening door. 
Just before the chimes rang ten. And 
Pierre's voice and the scrape of bags 
sliding on the foyer floor. Bella sat 
upright drawing in her breath. 

“O my God I didn't bolt the door, get 
out of here. Pick up your clothes some- 
one is coming.” 

The light faint and flickering, Baltha- 
zar ran grabbing and tripping across the 
floor to get out the door. Fingers clutch- 
ing in a shoc, an arm squcezing together 
jacket and shirt. The click of his moth- 
er's heels in the foyer the end of the 
To close Bella's door and get be- 
nd one's own. Leave the clothes strewn 
or be [ound skipping nude. To run with 
jacket and trousers clutched ag the 
breast. And feel a faint sandy grit on 
the bottom of my fect. As a voice comes 
down from the dim light up the hall. 

s that you Balthazar. 

‘No. 
“What. 
Balthazar.” 

“I'm just going to my room.” 

“O. Well I'd thought I'd return and 
pack tonight and leave early tomorrow 
for Menton. Chantilly was such a bore. 
How are you getting on. Why don’t you 


Of course it is. Is it you 


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put on the light. That is you Balthazar.” 
e 
witch on, I can't see you. Is some- 
thing the matter." 
“No.” 
“Would you help Pierre, he h; 
fetch four more bags. Put on the 


“TI put it on. Irs irritating to speak 
to somcone in the dak. Good God 
What are you doing standing in the hall 
clutching your clothes like that.” 

“Nothing. I have come from 
bath.” 

“Well wear a robe. Wi 
in Miss Hortense's door. 

в: slowly stepping 
toward his door. His mothe 
blue flowered dies, its silky sheen 
gleaming in the chandelier light. Her 
blonde hair drawn tightly back on her 
head. The great diamonds on a finger 
flickering blue and pink as it pointed to 
the white cloth hanging from Miss Hor- 
tense's door. 

"pod 
curtain." 

‘A curtain. No it's not. Is she in there. 
Miss Hortense, are you in there.” 

Jn solemn dry history books Miss 
Hortense said. There are times of шешу 
d times of war. When no one is poor 
b there's nowhere to go and many 
guns to make. And people feel better 
because they don't always have to thin 
of themselves. And love is sidder and 
stronger then, Because you might be 


the 


at's that stuck 


backward 
n a dark 


it would appear to be a 


“Something is stuck in your door.” 

“Thank you Madam.” 

To stand so frozen here. Covering all 
this pain. Why dosn't she go away. 
De ever come close to me. 
оой God, your tie there Balt 
and this. This is your shirt. What is it 
doing here. May 1 In Miss Hor- 
tense’s door. What is going on." 

Miss Hortense was sewing my sock.” 
“And you have to take off your shirt 
d trousers and. underwear." 

I have been to the bath." 

“Yes and I think it is time you should 
go to your room. If it is not a little 
nudist colony here. And I think I should 
have perhaps a word with Miss Hortense.” 
Stay away from her 
What did you say. 

“I said to stay away from Bella." 

“I will do what I choose in my flat, 
my dear boy." 

"Do not open her door." 
And what if I do." 

I will not return here ever ag: 
"You are taking such a privilege 

What foolish talk. This ny 
. Miss Hortense is my employee.” 
She is paid with my money.” 

To be sure, We are suddenly so 
aware of our rights. She is still my 


employee. And if I choose to speak to an 
employee I shall." 

"You shan't refer to 
fashion." 

"And what fashion would you have 
me choose. To find your clothes strewn 
about. Stuck Hortense’s door. You 
have some other term for Miss Hortense 
perhaps. I think so. Miss Hortense, may 
I have your attention a moment please 

“Just а moment.” 

“I can wait. It is no trouble. Yes I 
think perhaps I ought to know more of 
what is taking place while I am away. 
Why don't you go to your room, Baltha- 
zar." 

Miss Hortense openi 
pale profile of her face. 

“It is just to ask, my dear, that I 
should Tike to chat with you tomorrow 
morning. About nine thirty. Sharp, 
k we may have some things 


her in that 


z her door. The 


“Very well Madam." 
His mother turning. Her eyes of cold 


blue steel. Her back stiff and straight. 
And legs long and elegant. Click click 
click like a soldier she away. 

"Bella please don't w 

"Balthazar please good night get your 
dothes and go to bed.” 

To fall down through white tumbling 
sheets in a night of dreaming. And wake 
wide суса to remember last morning 
Sunday, as Bella sat with breakfast tray 
and read the black headlines across the 
newspapers and said o Balthazar I think 
there is going to be war. It comes like 
that with photographs of men in high 
white collars with briefcases stepping 
from grand trains. They sit at great 
tables with glasses of water. Never any 
trust with treaties and someone will 
wield the sword. And that awful war 
there was before. My father said thc 
rats roamed and ate the bodies of the 
dead and the whole sky smelled for 
miles. Like a yellow suffocating dust 
And those horrid men with their black 
ties, smiling with their pens signing 


COCHRAN! 


“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this 
day in the presence of God to join together this 


man and this woman in holy matrimony. . . . 


193 


PLAYBOY 


ers. Dearest Balthazar if ever guns 
red and smoke and fire please be far 
y. Tears in Bella's eyes as she 
poured our coffee in our white cups and 
the sheet dropped down from her 
breasts. She clutched it up and let it 
drop again and smiled. Her bosoms so 
strange and big when she leaned that 
ay and nipples bright and hard. And 
then so tall and slender like a reed in 
the candlelight. aed her and her 
breasts bounced up and down. I caught 
her round the waist. She laughed to 
push down my arms. Her thighs so long 
d strong and so much bigger than 
mine. Just to know and know I could 
touch them and feel a long straight mus- 
de hardening there. And not be pushed 
away. Bully you without clothes she 
said and tickle. Everything's unfair in 
this game. Now Balthazar stand still. I 
want to see you. Like a little statue so 
white and thin. You are a fountain and 
water should come out of here. And 
now, o now, I turn it on. With her open 
palm to reach and touch me, stay still, 
so still, you tremble. Fingers touching 
so lightly there. АП along this funny lit- 
de line underneath, Balthazar my beau- 
ty. Your splendid flower, its pink rose 
tip. And white blue veined stem. And 
all its tiny blond new leaves of hair. Bel- 
la am I brave to stand still. Yes And 
And I closed. my eyes. 

and the ticking clock. Bella. 
ve me and аге you gone. Run 
to you out of my bed now. Clutch you. 
Bury my face in your soft welcoming 
breasts. Hold me away from all that 
darkness. Like the narrow Rue Allent. 
The notice up on the wall. URINATORS 
WILL BE PROSECUTED. And that day we 
went to the church of St. Louis where I 


ing of d 
Hortense 


Miss 
fast. Her eyes red and checks blotched. 
And put the tray on my bed. Opened 


ame in with break- 


my w and lowered the 


whing on 


she pulls my arms from around her 
And holds my face between her. 
nds and let me please cut a strand of 
your һай. It curled round her finger. 
And she tied it tight with a long strand 
of her own brown hair. And put it in the 
locket on top of my picture when I was 
i old and standing by the sca. 

what does it mea 
listen to me. Listen. I am 
going to have to go away. Just as I always 
knew J would. This evening on the пай. 
. No listen to me. I must. I 
is coming. And I some- 
how know it is when they say it isn't- 
You'll be gone to your new school.” 

"Will you visit me, 

“I will try.” 

“O Bella say you will" 

“I will 

“And write to me.” 

NERY 

“I don't want you to go. Or ever leave 
1 love you so dearly.” 

‘Then you would do one thing for me 
wouldn't you.” 

“Yes, what is it.” 

"Let me spcak to your mother alone. 
‘There are things 1 would like to say. 
That I would not like you to hear. And 
you mustn't mind too much when I go. 
We've had some awfully happy times. 
True love is always sure disaster.” 


“O please Bella, don't say such a 
harsh thing.” 

“I must go.” 

At 9:30 the salon doors closed. And 
Balthazar tiptoes there, He waved away 
the cook who lurked in the pantry hall. 
She wiped her hands in her apron and 
scurried when Balthazar said shoo. And 
on the silk soft carpet he stood in his 
bare feet and robe and pecked through 
the keyhole. 

His mother sat on a golden legged 
chair, In a white linen suit. String of 
pearls at her tan neck and her blonde 
hair brushed back from her temples. A 
great diamond pin stuck from the bun 
gently golden at the back of her head. 
And she tapped a small silver pencil on 
her engagement book. 

To se only Bellis legs and hands 
folded in her lap. And wish that my 
penis would not go hard and stiff. When 
anyone can look at you and вау you are 
a naughty boy. 

“Miss Hortense. I am a woman. It 
will be less painful if I do not beat 
around the bush. I will say what I have 
to say. I am, perhaps, not a good mother. 
I have no wish to make anyone unhappy. 
But I could not do otherwise than what 
I am doing now. I must give you your 
notice. That is understood." 

“Madam 1 love your son and want to 
marry him. 

"What. Do you want me to go and 
p olf the balcony. He is a child.” 

He is a man." 

‘ome come my dear girl, what do 
you take me for. We are grown people 
and he is but а boy. You should know 
what you are doing, Miss Hortense. It is 
far too easy to seduce such a sheltered 
litle creature as Balthazar. 1 would like 
to know before you leave that you shall 
not have contact with him again, That i: 
clear. 


j 


“And very wise of you. You are of 
good family. And 1 do not blame you or 
Balthazar as 1 should have seen what 
was happening myself, It is а trouble. 
some world. One does as one likes, if 
one can. There are rules. Be discreet 
and do not gct caught. But believe me 
Miss Hortense you were lucky 10 get 
caught. A beautiful girl like you should 
have better things to do. Balthazar will 
be a bit lovesick but he will get over it.” 

Miss Hortense standing. A white hand- 
hief clutched in her hand. 
ou awful awful woman. I love him. 
I lov 

"Your envelope Miss Hortense has 
been put under your door. Do not forget 
ic" 

“You're evil 

“You are wrong but also how sad you 
are my dear. How sad. Some thoughts 
are best unsaid. I don't suppose you will 


ies 


be foolish enough to try any tricks. I 
leave in half an hour. And you may stay 
it is time for your trai 
Hortense pulled open the salon 


door as Balthazar stepped quietly back 
against the wall. He followed her along 


the hall to her room. She said you 

mustn't come in. And he went to the 

bath, and came back and came in. Her 

case packed and open on her bed. 
“Balthazar you shouldn't have listened. 

That was a mean thing to do.” 

“Bella you said you wanted to marry 


m 


‘es, But it wasn't for you to hear.” 
“Why.” 
“Because we could never marry- 
God I'm going ош of my mind 

“I have a cold cloth here for your 


Gi 


‘outre sweet. I don't mean to be an- 
gry at you. But your mother thinks Гуе 
corrupted you. That I want to get you 
in my clutches. Get your money and рег 
your life. That's what she thinks. Maybe 
it's true. But I love you too.” 

"Bella, don't be sad and cr 

"I want to leave and go right away 
now." 

“Please wait till its time for your 


“Then I shall get dressed and go with 
you." 
"No." 


"Yes. I should be at your side. And 
please do not wear your hat and cover 
up your hair.” 

Miss Hortense stood, her knees against 
ihe blue linen coumerpane, Her hands 
hang down and the veins arc long and 
swollen blue. Her lips are open and her 
cyelids hang gently down. And under lurk 
her eyes with just their touch of laughter 
left in their gallant green. And she takes 
off her hat. 

“God what have you done to me 
Balthazar. What have you done to me.” 

At Gare St. Lazare. Ош on the wain 
quay at nearly six o'dock. They went 
that afternoon up to Sacré Coeur, climb- 
ing all the steps. And sat in the church 
while a procesion moved around the 
aisles. Sacristans with croses held high 
in their dark blue and red robes, Fol- 
lowed by women with empty married 
eyes. Their white pasty skins that held 
in their fat. And as they left the P 
Royal, his mother stood i 
waved her wrists and sniffed and shook 
her head slowly back and forth. 

The и: 


Heads 


doors slammin, 


sticking farewell from windows. A whis- 
tle blowing A green flag waving. A 


chug of steam. And the tall green c 
riage begins to move. I look up. The last 
thing we did together was to sit each 
with a sandwich jambon in a café 

the street, To say litte and then nothing 


at all. We were two lonely persons. Like 
we had never been before. And she put 
her hand across the table to me and 
bent her head. And the tears poured 
from her eyes. And I knew it was time 
just to touch her. And mot say we will 
meet again or write. Because she would 
never walk out of my mind. While there 
was a glowing light. I knew because I 
could see her sitting there. Just crossing 
her knees. Where my lamp was lit and 
other lamps were out And up in this 
window now. Her teeth over her lip. 
Her hand touching the blue ribbon she 
put in her hair. Choo choo choo. I can- 
1 stand. The train is 
1. Taking with it so many 
ig them. away. ез star- 
ing out the big glass windows. Wheels 
turning. Hard white steel on steel. 


Goodbye Miss Hortense, goodbye. 
And when 


And you slip out 
On the 

Gray and greeny 
White 

Whisper to it 
And say 

God love you 
Tonight. 


Copenhagen Tobacco 
isnt for smoking. 
Itisnt lit,isn't puffed, 
isnt inhaled. 


It’s too good to smoke. 


You don't burn tobacco this good. 
You put a pinch between your gum 
and cheek, and enjoy it. Without 
smoking, or even chewing. 
Copenhagen gives all the satisfac- 
tion of prime tobaccos—aged, 
hickory-smoked, blended. Packed in. 
dated cans, so you know it's fresh. 
Too good to smoke? Yes. And it 
costs less, too. Sure beats smoking! 


Gpenhagent 


Like wintergreen flavor? 
Try Skoal Tobacco. 


195 


PLAYBOY 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW (continued from page 81) 


stylist worth a dime who wouldn't agree 
that a safe car could be attractive and 
perform well. Why should enhanced 
aerodynamic characteristics, better bra 
better handling, better cornering ability 
adversely affect a cars performance? 
Quite the opposite; all these safety inno- 
vations would enhance performance. A 
safety car would not be a lumbering 
monster with a top speed of 30 miles 
per hour, fit only for 80-year-old grand- 
mothers; it would be just as sleek, just 
as handsome and just as fast as current 
models. And for the sports-car aficionado, 
driving would be just as thrilling—the 
only dilterence being that accidents would 
be far less likely, and when they did 
occur, the occupants of the car would be 
far less likely to end up in the hospital 
or the cemetery. 
PLAYBOY: Wouldn't the cost of incorpo- 
rating all the safety features you pro- 
pose necessarily inflate retail auto prices? 
NADER: The industry's claim that a safe 
car, in addition to being tanklike, would 
cost many thousands of dollars is as 
phony as the simulated air scoops on 
many American automobiles There is 
no reason why a safety car should cost 
any more than the present unsafe mod- 
els; it could, in fact, cost less. The manu- 
facturers would have to retool, of course 
—which is why they have resisted safety 
innovations—but their profits are already 
so astronomical, and their markups so 
high, that all the basic safety inno 
tions could be introduced without 
significantly denting their prosperity. Re- 
member, in each succeeding year, the 
productivity of the auto industry is in- 
€ decreasi 
unit, all of which will make it far easier 
to produce a safety car at minimal pro- 
duction cost. And let me stress here that 
production and labor costs are really far 
Jess than the industry has long claimed. 
Labor cost is actually a very minor com- 
ponent of overall retail cost; this year, 
for the first time in automotive history, 
опе major domestic manufacturer made 
public the basic raw cost of its cars and 
revealed that a model with a retail price 
g from $2500 to $3000 has a di- 
rect and indirect labor cost of no more 
than $300. On a conventional popul 
car, the engine will cost the manufa 
turer less than $70 to produce; a radio, 
less than $20; a seat belt with attached 
shoulder harnesses, less than three dol- 
lars at purchase price from the sup- 
pliers. When you add the cost of shect 
metals, glass, etc, that comes to a 
total labor, parts and production cost of 
less than 51300 for a standard four- 
door, fully equipped model now retail- 
ing for $2800. 

So the industry can easily afford to 
introduce safety innovations—some of 


lar 


196 which would actually reduce the cost of 


production. For example, if you е 
nate sharp ornaments in a car, or the 
type of chrome stripping over the back 
of the front seat thatgexposes a passen- 
ger to added probability of injury in a 
crash, you're saving money. There 
other measures, such as using nonglow 
paint instead of glow-producing body 
paint—which causes glare—that would 
neither add to nor detract from the pro- 
duction cost. And where safety innova- 
tions do add to the cost of production— 
head rests or an antilocking brake sys 
tem, for example—it would be possible 
to offset the cost by eliminating some ex- 
pensive and unnecessary stylistic changes 
intended only to differentiate this year’s 
model from last year’s. This is an im- 
portant point, because some years ago, 
a study by a team of Harvard and MIT 
economists estimated that out of the 
retail price of the average car, approxi- 
mately $700 is paid by the consumer for 
the annual style change—a change that 
is generally trivial and superficial. 

But even if the manufacturer does 
have to increase his production costs to 
increase safety, I see no reason why the 
cost should be passed on to the consum- 
er—as the industry, for obvious reasons, 
always warns will be the case. The auto 
industry, as I've already indicated, has 
such high markups and such huge profits 
—since World War Two, it has averaged 
approximately double the rate of return 
on investment received by American in- 
dustry in general—that it could easily 
afford to absorb the added costs of these 
long-overdue safety features. When con- 
sidering the cost of a safety car to the 
consumer, you must also remember that 
the over-all price of the vehicle includes 
insurance premiums; and if safer cars 
reduce accidents and deaths and injuries, 
thus leading to lower loss claims, the 
insurance companies should be required 
to reflect this lower loss incidence and 
commensurately lower their premiums. 
You сап just imagine what a one-third 
premium reduction would mean in а 
major city; it would involve a saving of 
anywhere from $400 to $1000 over a 
five-or-six-year life period for the car. 
PLAYBOY: If Detroit refused to absorb 
the cost of all the safety features you 
recommend, how much would they cost 
the car buyer? 

NADER: "That's hard to estimate, but let's 
say that a totally crashproof car might 
cost the consumer $1000 more than 
present models; that’s an extremely high 
figure, since Republic Aviation, the firm 
that did the feasibility studies for the 
New York State prototype safety car, 
concluded that a fully safe car could be 
sold within the price range of today’s 
models. But let's say that it did cost 
$1000 more; this would still amount to 
less than three dollars a day over a one- 


year period. If you ask yourself what 
you would pay to preserve your life or to 
keep from being crippled or maimed— 
not to mention the cost of hospitalization 
—this should strike you as a considerable 
bargain. Whoever pays the additional 
cost for a safe car, is there any price too 
high to pay to preserve life and limb m 
an auto accident? 

PLAYBOY: What specific features would 
your proposed safety car incorporate? 
NADER: There are literally hundreds of 
features in the automobile that can and 
should be improved for greater safety. It 
should have improved nonskid or anti- 
locking braking systems, with nonfade 
characteristics; Ford is offering its version 
of this on its 1969 Continentals and 
‘Thunderbirds. A safe car should also have 
improved tire performance to gi 
traction, durability, cornering. 
blowout resistance. It should have vastly 
improved suspension and handling, thus 
allowing the driver to make effective 
evasive maneuvers in an emergency. It 
should have improved visibility. The in- 
terior of the car should be designed to 
eliminate all sharp edges and protruding 
knobs; and all surfaces—not only dash- 
board but steering assembly, doors and 
windshield—should be yielding, in order 
to absorb an impact blow and attenuate 
or dissipate the energy forces. For ex- 
ample, the windshield could have an clas- 
tic characteristic and thus stretch before 
it begins to shatter, thus absorbing part 
of the collision forces that would nor- 
mally be absorbed by the head of the 
driver or occupant as it strikes the wind- 
shield. Some progress has been made in 
this area already—padded dashboards, 
improved windshield glass—but much 
remains to be donc. 

All seats in furthermore, 
should be fully integrated. systems. de- 
signed to forestall driver fatigue over 
long periods on the road and to protect 
the driver and occupants against side 
collision, prevent passengers from being 
thrown into the front of the cir as a 
result of seat uprooting, and give neck- 
and-head-restraint protection in the com- 
mon rear-end collision, Again, since the 
passage of the Traffic Safety Act, we've 
been moving in the right direction with 
headrests and seat belts, but the progress 
remains halting. The side structure of the 
car would be so designed as to reduce 
the penetrating probability of vehicles 
g at right angles—currently an 
extremely exposed arca in all foreign and 
domestic models. Various energy-absorb- 
ing characteristics would be built into 
the front and rear of the car; Ford says 
it plans to introduce these improvements 
on some 1969 models; and GM is putting 
a stecl band through the door structures 
of some 1969 models, which they claim 
provides protection in the event of a 
side collision. 

"Ehe fuel tank of a safety car should 


the car, 


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197 


PLAYBOY 


198 


be so designed and sit 
reduce the probability of rupturing and 
igniting upon impact, and the motor 
should be modified to prevent the intro- 
duction of deadly carbon monoxide into 
the passenger compartment, All carpeting 
and upholstery should be nonflammable 
and nonmeltable, in order to reduce the 
secondary fire characteristics that today 
burn or asphyxiate many occupants who 
survive the initial crash, These are all 
safety innovations that could be intro- 
duced immediately and at minimal cost. 

On the horizon within the next dec- 
ade, I can sce laser or radar detection 
systems built into the front of cars 
to detect impending collisions and auto: 
matically activate the brakes to avoid 
them, thus allowing crashes to be pre- 
vented independently of the driver's mo- 
tions. Another innovation that should be 
on the boards within three or four years 
is an automatic restraint system. Тһе 
most refined concept is а plasticair 
restraint system that was laughed at by 
the industry when it was first suggested 
some 15 years ago. Upon impact with 
another car—or with a wall or a tele- 
phone pole—the air bag is triggered 
within 20 milliseconds from its com- 
partment, which for the driver may be 
located in the steering assembly, for 
frontseat passengers in the dashboard 
area and for rear passengers in the back 
of the front seat. Once triggered, the air 
bag expands in front of each occupant 
and swells to about the size of a football 
dummy. The occupant will be thrust 


ated as to greatly 


forward into this air cushion, which will 
cover and protect him from head to 
foot. The moment the car is stationary, 
the air bags withdraw automatically into 
their compartments, This system, which 
was developed by Eaton Yale & Towne, 
is within the realm of ediate fail-safe 
practicality and is now being studied by 
the National Highway Safety Bureau 
with great interest. This would eliminate 
the necessity for individual compliance 
with seat belts and would be a far more 
elective protective device in case of a 
crash, There are scores of other ima 


tive safety plans already on the drawing 
boards; so there is practically nothing we 
cannot do in the safety arca at our 


present level of technological and en- 
gineering proficiency. 

PLAYBOY: One automotive innovation al- 
ready on the boards is the electric car. 
How far are we from developing a func- 
tional model? 

NADER: Not nearly so far away as the 
auto industry would like us to believe. 
Тһе auto and petroleum industries have 
delayed the technological inno 
that would lead to an effective electric 
car, because such a car would displace 
their tremendous capital investment in 
the internal-combustion engine. I think 


ns 


its time somebody blew the whistle on 
the vestigial  internal—or — infernal— 
combustion engine: It’s outdated and 


inefficient, a technological anachronism 
that should be replaced by either an clec 
tric or a steam engine. Such cars would 
also greatly reduce the air-pollution prob- 


"It's garbage, but not quite right for us." 


lem, since automotive pollution accounts 
for more than 50 percent of the total air 
pollution in the United States. 

Now, the main obstacle to getting the 
electric car into mass production has 
been the problem of recharging; but 
General Electric, which has been the 
leader in developing the electric car, has 
now developed a very advanced hybrid 
fuel cell that, within two or three years, 
allow the production of electric cars 
with a top speed of 80 miles an hour 
and a range of 200 miles without re- 
charging. The recharging process itself 
would take only ten minutes. Such a cer 
could, of course, displace many cars on 
the roads today because of its range, 
speed and recharging flexibility, as well 
the bonus of not having to buy gaso- 
line. There's nothing eternal about the 
internal-combustion engine. 

PLAYBOY: How close are we to a steamcar? 
NADER: Very close. Without in any way 
downgrading the clectric car, which is a 
big step forward, I believe that the car 
of the near future should have a steam 
engine. This is the ideal alternative to 
the internal-combustion engine, and the 
technology is so perfected that we could 
put a steamcar into mass production 
within two years. The steam engine in 
its current advanced form has a great 
many attributes: It is at least the eq 
of the internal-combustion engine 
sponse, acceleration and peak роме 
is almost noiscless; it emits less than one 
percent of the pollution; it burns kero 
sene—thereby cutting the motorist's fuel 
bill in half and totally eliminating the 
lead pollution inherent in leaded gaso- 
line—in a far more efficient manner than 
internal-combustion engines now burn 
gasoline; and it would be much cheaper 
to construct, since. you could eliminate 
the transmission, the clutch and all the 
other cumbersome components of the 
internal-combustion engine that add to 
the latter's complexity, weight, cost and 
ince. One additional attribute of 
the stcam engine is the fact that, since it 
burns kerosene or other fuels, it is 
less likely to incur bitter industrial op- 
position from the petroleum lobby, which 
is a very potent force in Washington 
Steam engines would permit the oil com- 
panies to recover more salable fuel per 
barrel of crude, duc to the absence of 
current refining complexities. What is 
most needed now is Government alloc: 
tion of funds to develop alternative 
automotive propulsion systems, steam or 
electric, by private industry. If rationality 
and efüdency prevail in the auto 
dustry, the last third of the 20th С 
tury can be the age of the steamcar— 
and cleaner 
PLAYBOY: When President Johnson 
named 17 members to the National Mo- 
tor Vehicle Safety Advisory Council in 
1967, your name was conspicuously ab- 
sent from the list, which contained 


many pro-industry names. Why do you 
think you weren't appointed? 

NADER: Because the Administration want 
cd to avoid the controversy of appoint 
ing consumer advocates to counteract 
the industry advocates on the Council. 
Of the 17 members appointed, a majority 
must, by law, be dr from the public; 
the rest are representatives of the indus- 
try and the dealers. As à. pro-consumer 
advocate, 1 was obviously deemed too 
controversial, but it was eminently prop- 
cr to appoint executives who support 
the auto industry. This is the basic prob- 
lem we have to solve before the Govern- 
ment will be an ally of the consumer 
rather than a toady of big business. 
PLAYBOY. Isn't that a rather sweeping 
generalization? 

NADER: Yes, but not an ui 
when you consider th; 
ulatory 


stificd one, 
the Federal reg- 


nd 


absidiring agencies that 
are charged with protecting the public 
interest have largely been taken over by 
the industries they are supposed to be 
supervising and/or subsidizing and are 
ignoring, or relegating to secondary sta- 
tus, the interests of the consum ‘The 
Interstate Commerce Commission, for 
example, has long appeared to be a pli- 
able instrument of the railroads, dv 
lines and the trucking industry. The De- 
partment of the Interior has ladled out 
at shockingly low prices rich leases of 
public land to the oi »dustries, 
which it further protects by imposing 
rigid quotas on cheap oil imports that 
could save homcowners and motorists 
billions of dollars every year. The De- 
partment of the Interior serves the oil 
and gas industries in a host of ways that 
shield them from public scrutiny and 
countability. The American Petroleun 

Institute, an industry organization, 1 
even hired professional writers to pre- 
pare promotional brochures for the in- 
dustry that are then printed fee of 
charge by the Department of the Interi 
or and distributed all across the country 
as if they were official Government pub- 
lications. “The Federal Communic 
Commission does little to cucourage the 
broadcasting industry to bring its per- 
formance up to its potential. The Atom. 
ic Energy Com: . subordinating its 
responsibility to set vigorous safety stand- 
ards over what could be America's most 
destructive domestic catastrophe, should 
there be a radioactive disaster in public 
or private atomicenergy plants, instead 
vigorously promotes and subsidizes pri- 
vare atomicenergy And the 
Department of Agriculture—better. re- 
named the Department of Agro-Business 
—is a faithful lap dog of the g 
meat and poultry interests; so it goes, 
all the way down the line. 

business has waxed fatter on Big 
Government. It’s not that the officials of 
Federal agencies have been bought olf 


bus 


and gas 


ions 


Crests. 


|Otympics 68] 


by industry—although 1 wouldn't entire- 
ly rule that out in some cases—but 
primarily that the agency becomes iden- 
tified with the interests of the industry it 
is supposed to be supervising and, in 
order to “bolster the economy" by in 
creasing that industry's profits, becomes 
litle more than a publicrelations agent 
for big business. Another problem 

that agency olficials often come from the 
very industries under purported regula- 
tion or leave the agency to take a job in 
that industry. Repeated shuttling back 
and forth between business and Govern- 
ment is not uncommon. Remember, a 
Government regulatory agency is really 
just a mediator, busi- 


a referee betwe 


ness and the consumer; it reacts to pres- 
sures brought to bear on ther th 
seizing the initiative. And most of the 


power comes from industry's side of the 
street. Inevitably, if industry is the only 
one knocking on the door, it will receive 
all the attention and deference, and the 
unorganized and unrepresented consum- 
er will be left out in the cold. That's 
why I spend so much of my time trying 


UE 


10 mobilize consumer pressure to bring 
the regulatory agencies closer to the 
people they are supposed to serve first. 

PLAYBOY: You seem to feel that all the 
Government's industrial regulatory agen 
cies arc corrupt and venal. 
NADER: Vei even with the agen 
cies that fail the public most egregious- 
ly. it’s not a problem of corruption or 
venality but of shortsightedness, weak. 
ness and a misconception of Govern 
ment’s responsibility to the consumer. In 
a way, this is even more serious th: 
venality, because corruption can be dis- 
covered and corrected; myopia and timid- 
ity can’t. The regulatory agencies are 
a pretty sorry state; one of the bette 
ones is the Sec nd Exchange Com- 
mission, which has taken positive steps 
to reduce the sharp practices of the stock- 
brokerage houses, despite the latter's 
strong and politically potent opposition 
But even the SEC's record is, Im sorry 
10 say, spotty. І originally came to Wash 
wton with a great deal of hope that 


y often 


n 


ties 


the regulator 
the 


ncies would champion 
interests, but it didn't 


consumers 


199 


PLAYBOY 


200 


take me very long to become disillu- 
sioned. Nobody seriously challenges the 
fact that thc regulatory agencies have 
made an accommodation with the busi- 
nesses they are supposed to regulate— 
and that they've done so at the expense 
of the public; every journalist, pol 
and Government official in Washington 
knows it. Only agency spokesmen deny 
the fact. You don't need to stay in Wash- 
ington more than one week to discover 
how apathetic, how bureaucratized, how 
chattcled to big business and how indif- 
ferent to the public these agencies are. 
But I don't despair of changing the 
agencies’ present anticonsumer bias and 
injecting them with new blood and new 
purpose. It’s fully understandable why 
the agencies act as they do; after all, 
for years thousands of lobbyists have 
manned the barricades of business in 
Washington, using their considerable 
fluence, by means of an assortment of 
quasilegal methods, to sway agency of- 
ficials and legislators to look favorably 
on the interests of their clients. The con- 
sumer's side of the fence, meanwhile, 
has been represented full time by vii 
tually nobody. This situation is now 
changing, and the Federal regulatory 
agencies will eventually change with it. 
PLAYBOY: Until the regulatory 
live up to your expectations, who are 
you proposing should assume their func- 
tions? Ralph Nader? 
NADER; The public must exercise its 
power and influence through its elected 
representatives in Wash 
consumer organizations and through pri- 
vate individuals, such as myself, who 
are able to generate political action. 
There is. of course, considerable public 
apathy, but I'm constantly heartened by 
the thousands of letters I get from con- 
cerned citizens—many of them including 
valuable, and sometimes confidential, in- 
formation. I've been particularly fortu- 
nate in having been able to develop 
sources of information within different 
dustries; where necessary, 1 protect 
their identity to avoid their being fired. 
Some people in the corporate machinery 
do, I'm happy to say, have 2 social co 
science and reject the notion that cor- 
porate loyalty encompasses all hum 
alues and responsibilit l think J 
if more people within industry would 
disclose material that is vital to public 
safety, we would be able to attack the 
specific problems before they reached crisis 
proportions. I'm not suggesting that an 
ployee subvert or be disloyal to his 
corporate employer; but if he brings a 
particular safety or health hazard to the 
tention of his superiors and they ignore 
it because they place profit above public 
safety, then I think it's his duty as a citi- 
zen to go outside the corporate structure 
and reveal it to the authorities, or to pri- 
vate citizens such as myself, who are in 
a position to expose the situation and 
to correct it. But to simply rationalize 


by ig that they just “took orders” 
is inexcusable. The code of professional 
ethics of the National Society of Prof 
nal Engineers, for example, specifically 
tells them that if sufficient attention isn't. 
being given by management to their dis- 
closures, then they must go outside the 
corporate structure and appeal to the 
public authorities, because human life is 
at stake. 
PLAYBOY: You mentioned the “methods” 
used by industry representatives and lob- 
byists to influence members of the regu- 
latory agencies and other Government 
officials. Would you be more specific? 
NADER: There are numerous means open 
to them: the implicit promise of jobs in 
industry when an official leaves Govern. 
ment, as I've indicated; leverage at the 
top of Governmental departments to 
turn the heat on a lower-level official 
who sticks his neck out for the public; 
donati ngressman's c 
fund or industry business for some who 
have law firms; and the forging of social 
friendships at the golf club, country 
club or professional organization. There 
are ny specific techniques tailored 
to specific industries. The auto compa- 
nies, for example, have “special plans" 
that allow important people to buy new 
cars at low prices. A manufacturer will 
select groups of influential pcople— 
newspaper editors and reporters, politi- 
cians, racing drivers, prominent clergy- 
men—who they believe could promote 
the image and interests of their corpora- 
n in one way or another; the particu- 
ar individual chosen is then given a 
new car at least 25 to 30 percent off the 
dealers list price. He receives even 
more than that, however; his has 
been given a particularly careful inspec- 
tion on the assembly line and a thorough 
road test, unlike the cars sold on the 
open market, which are driven about 
100 yards from the factory to the auto 
trailer in the parking lot. So this is just 
one elementary way that the manufac- 
turers make friends and influence opin- 
ion makers. 
PLAYBOY: Your opponents in Washing- 
ton have reportedly hinted to journalists 
that you've been receiving sizable ki 
backs by referring negligence cases to a 
private law firm. Is this true? 
NADER: It's demonstrably false, and cal- 
culatedly so. I have never accepted a 
referral fee. I provide а lot of free ad- 
се on auto safety and other consumer 
issues to anyone who asks me, but I do 
not receive remuneration of any kind. И 
my accusers can prove that I have ever 
received such a material reward, I'll 
gladly quadruple the sum and donate it 
10 their favorite charity, Let me empha- 
size that there is nothing even remotely 
wrong with a lawyer receiving compen- 
ion for such legal and technical serv- 
ices, any more than it's wrong for a 


doctor, an accountant or an engineer to 
receive compensation for his professional 
services. It’s just that 1 don't wish to do 
so. The industry rumormongers appar- 
ently believe that only material incen- 
tives motivate men, and they try vainly 
to spread that notion so as to reduce my 
effectiveness. But the more they wy, the 
more they have reduced their own cffec- 
tiveness with the Government officials 
they work to influence, 

PLAYBOY: Some of these same critics 
charge that you are basically opposed to 
the free-enterprise system and virulently 
hostile to business. Is it possible that 
your position might lead to Government 
intervention in every area of the econo- 
my—and inevitably to total socialism? 


NADER: No. There is still much that 
positive in a free-enterprise system, and 
І have litte faith in the automatic 
power of Government io right all 
wrongs; in any area of Government 
control, there is always the danger of 
inaction, overbureaucratization, under- 
imagination and surrender to special in- 
terests. Some form of socialism may very 
well be a solution for poverty-ridden 
countries of the "third world"; but in 
America, the answer is not to scrap the 
free-enterprise system but to reform it— 
by correcting the abuses committed in 
its name and ensuring that it operates 
responsibly and effectively. 

The two esential elements of any 
healthy capitalist system are the free 
market and competition, and I see value 
in both concepts: but too many of the 
huge corporations, while paying them 
tic service, are practice op- 
posed to the free market and competi- 
tion and seek a controlled market; they 
prefer closed enterprise 10 free enter- 
prise and price- and product-fixing to 
compctition. The essential prerequisites 
of the free-market system are that the 
consumer have a meaningful choice of 
products and that he be supplied the 
information on which to intelligently 
base that choice. But the consumer does 
not have access to such information; and 
in the highly concentrated industries, the 
top manufacturers deliberately produce 
products that are virtually identical, thus 
eliminating effective competition, In the 
auto industry, for example, the only 
fundamental distinction. between this 
year's model and last's is often whether 
or not a grille pattern grimaces or grins 
or whether there is a fake air scoop on 
the side of the car or a stip of chrome. 
What we need here, to quote from Barry 
Goldwater's 1964 campaign, is a choice 
and not ап echo—i choice that a healthy 
freemarket system should and must pro- 
vide. Unfortunately, the megacorpora- 
tions are basically anti-free market, and 
thus actually antithetical to capitalism, 
whereas 1 am all in favor of fostering 


genuine free enterprise and putting the 
people back into people's capitalism. 
Of course, I do believe that some de- 
gree of enlightened Government regula- 
tion is necessary in such a complex and 
interacting economy as ours. But the 
real question is not whether such a Gov- 
ernmental role is desirable—it is inevit 
ble—but whether the Government will 
intervene on the side of the public or, as 
is all too often the case tod on the side 
of big business, whenever the interests 
of each fail to coincide, Governmental 
control of industry—as opposed to pru- 
dent supervision—becomes necessary only 
when industry fails to respond to the 
public interest; drastic state interventions 
in the private sector, like revolutions, 
are precipitated by а public demand for 
the correction of long-standing abuses. 
Socialism will come to America onl: 
the huge corporati. 
ing the free market while extolling it at 
stockholder meetings. It is this kind 
of breakdown that consumer advocates 
such as myself are trying to prevent. 
PLAYBOY: Despite what you've said, some 
qitics feel that your. Governmentregu- 
lated approach to the protection of con- 
sumer interests is essentially coercive. 
"They accuse you of being contemptuous 
of the consumer's ability to discern good 
products and services from bad and to 
exerdse his free choice in the market 
place. Do you think that’s valid? 


NADER: As I've already indicated, before 
1he consumer can exercise an intelligent 
free choice and thus encourage more and 
better competition, he must be supplied 
with relevant information about the 
product he buys; unless there is a full di 
closure of this information, and a full 
disclosure of available alternatives, such 
free choice is only a sham—as it is today 
in many areas. The only way a consumer 
can now make a free choice without 
outside assistance— from consumer groups 
or Federal agencies—is to train him- 
self as a mechanic and structural en- 
gincer before he buys a cir, to carry a 
spectrograph when he buys home appli- 
ances or à Geiger counter when he buys 
а color-IV set. 1 don't want to force him 
to buy anything—but he can't make up 
his mind in а vacuum. Is coercion" if 
the Government sets standards to pre- 
vent the public from consuming disea 
or driving dangerous cars, or being 
overexposed to X radiation through med- 
l and dental X rays? I don't think s 
and if you have ever s 
horribly mutilated corpses of tho: 
have been struck down on the higl 
due to engineering defects in their cars, 
you would consider the question of 
“coercing” them into buying a safe car 
rather academic. 

PLAYBOY: If you realized all your aims, 
according to some of your opponents, 
we might find ourselves living in а 


dull, homogenized consumers’ utopia in 
which all products would be blandly 
standardized, all services uniform. Do you 
consider that a fanciful prediction? 

NADER: Totally. In a healthy free mar- 
ket system—which, as I've pointed ош, 
we don't have today—competition would 
be a vibrant reality instead of banquet 
rhetoi and manufacturers would vic 
with one another to produce new, better 
nd more exciting products. The whole 
point of consumer safety movements 
is to generate change, to stimulate 
innovation, which means more alterna- 
tives, not fewer. Cars don't all have 
10 look drably alike just because safety 
is engineered into them, any more U 
1 food products have to t 
simply because putrescent fish is out 
awed. Ts there anything exciting about 
being mutilated in to crash? 
Would it be е an to eat meat from 
diseased animals? Would it be boring to 


di 
fabri 
time when many people will be lament 
ing to their psychiatrists, “Doctor, there 
re no more unsafe diseased nx 
air and water pollution or radiation 
overexposure around. Life has lost all its 
тем!” 

PLAYBOY: You have recently widened 
your critical sights to include other 
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PLAYBOY 


besides the auto industry. Not long ago, 
for example. you criticized safety condi- 
tions on Grevhound buses, Why? 
NADER: Because Greyhound, which is 
the largest commercial bus company in 
the United States, has used regrooved 
tires on the rear of its buses. of 
à pattern and tread wear tl kes 
them extremely unreliable on wet, slip- 
pery pavements, Whenever the treads 
on а Greyhound rear tire wear down, they 
have been poorly regrooved—not just 
once but repeatedly—and replaced on the 
bus A UCLA rire specialist revealed 
recently that Greyhounds regrooving 
patterns give no more traction than if 
the tires were absolutely bald. Numer- 
ous accidents have resulted from this 
practice. A Greyhound bus will be round- 
ng à curve on a slightly wet highway, 
the driver will brake, the tires will fail 
to grip and the bus will go skidding 
right off the highway, Such c 
occurred in v ts of the country. 
In New Jersey in May 1967, a Grey- 
hound careened off a rainslicked high- 
way near Hackettstown and plunged 50 
feet down an embankment, killing one 
passenger, a 7i-yearold woman, and 
injuring 12 other. The state police 
found that the regrooved rear tires had 


shes have 


worn so thin that the canvas was show- 
ing through, The case was referred 


to the Departm ion, 


t of Transport 


which recommended criminal prosecution 
of Greyhound for knowingly violating 


the Motor Car safety Аа. Unfor- 
tunately, even if convicted. Greyhound 
is only subject to a $1000 fine, since 
there are no other penal provisions 
under the law—which is just опе more 
reason for making all knowing and 
willful violations of safety regulations 


rather than civil offenses. 
ticularly repugnant about 
is that Greyhound uses such 


ires for only one reason: to cut costs 
and swell profits. No one can ever say 
that Greyhound had its back up against 


al; this is а mammoth outfit that is im- 
mensely profitable and has so much 
apital that it owns 28 
г Boeing 707 and 797 jets for 
leasing to the commercial airlines. And 
vet, to save a few dollars on new tires. it 
ing 10 jeopardize the lives of its 
passengers. This provides quite an insight 
into the ethics of a modern corporation. 

But tires aren't the only area where 
Greyhound is at fault, Consider а recent 
jor Greyhound асс er, 
fornia, which took 20 lives. The bus 
k by a traveling in the 
wrong lane and flipped over on its door 
side. The fragile exposed fuel tank of 
the bus ruptured, the fuel ignited and 
incinerated 20 occupants trapped in а 


multimil- 


was sir 


202 bus with no emergency exits. The few 


who escaped were either ejected by the 
initial im, ged to climb out 
the shattered front windshield. Proper 
design of buses for safety would have 
saved many lives in such а collision. 
cyhound management poured pres- 
sure on the National Highway Safety 
Bureau and UCLA to keep a highly crit- 
iral report by UCLA specialists on 
Greyhound bus design from being made 
public. One reason for this is that 
Greyhound has a new bus design being 
examined by the Department of Trans- 
portation a design, incidentally, that 
shows virtually no safety improvements. 
Greyhound obviously fears that critiques 
ol its design and performance may 

pproval of this "new" design. 
, Greyhound's main 


а generally 
hound, 


lower accident record 
On the Washington-New York run, 
which I'm acquainted with. some Grey- 
hound drivers consistently violate the 
speed limits; their driving methods, par- 
исшапу in the early-morning hours, 
would tum your hair white. Ive been 
tying Гог over а year to get a precise 
statistical comparison of Greyhound and 
Trailways accidents made public, but 
the Bureau of Motor Carriers of the De- 
partment of Transportation has refused 
to release the comparative figures. Their 
explanation is that it would serve no 
useful purpose. Well. it might serve the 
purpose of informing the traveler which 
bus line he's less likely to get killed on— 
and rewarding the safer line fo 
centive and responsibility by giving it 
business. It’s quite obvious that the 
BMC is covering up for Greyhound, as 
it has done for years; the BMC h 
never released the full contents of its in- 
vestigations of accidents involving Grey- 
hound or other bus compai Phe 
BMC has also been sitting for three years 
оп a proposal to require sear belts in 
buses. 1 would urge a Congressional in- 
vestigation of the relationship between 
the BMC and Greyhound. which amounts 
to a merger of business and Government 
in a joint venture to protect each other 
and delude the public. Here again, we 
have the problem of a regulat 
whose duty is to protect the public de 
ciding that its first alleg the 
industry. 

PLAYBOY: How safe are the railroads? 
NADER: Railroad accidents are sharply 
increasing. If you read your newspapers 
carefully, you'll find that hardly a week 
goes by without some report of a rail- 
road crash, or derailment, or a hea 
collision between two trains somewhere 
in the country. As our railroad system 
continues to deteriorate, casualties and 
railroad accidents are rising, and efforts 
to strengthen railroad safety run into the 
same technological and bureaucratic ob- 
stacles that we find in the field of auto 


s in- 


У. 


псе ds to 


Чоп. 


safety. The Department of Transporta 
tion proposed the first railroad safety 
Dill in decades to Congress last May, 
but it hasn't been acted upon. 
PLAYBOY: What about airline safety? 
NADER: Commercial aviation faces a prob- 
lem, in the aggregate, that is not nearly 
as serious as auto safety—nor yet. any- 
way. But aviation safety will present 
serious challenges in the coming years 
because of the growing congestion not 
only in the skies but at our airports; so 
we had beter begin right now to allo- 
сис more resources and more public 
attention to this area, As it stands today. 
roughly 1200 people die in air accidents 
in this country each year, as compared 
with more than 50.000 in automobile 
accidents. But there is still considerable 
room for improvement. 

r one thing. our pl 
being as crashworthy as d 
much more 
the kind of engineering. improvements 
that would increase the likelihood of 
val after a crash landing by strength- 
ing the plane's structure so that it 
wouldn't always disintegrate on impact 
and would also reduce the energy forces 
before they ted to the pas 
sengers. In addi deal of work 
is needed to improve our jet [uel systems, 
in order to reduce the possibility of rup- 
tures and fire. One remarkably neglected 
area of aviation safety is this whole 
question of fire after a crash. Many a 
crash victims don't die from impact but 
are burned to death or asphyxiated be- 
fore they can escape the wreckage. Th 
is no r technologically or 
even economically, why this should hap- 
pen. It is now perfectly feasible to adopt 


s are far from 
v could be; 
tention should be given to 


the fucl from 

Additional lives could be saved by 
making stronger seats that are securely 
anchored 10 the body of the plane: to- 


propell and their sca 
ants through the compart 
t. Few people realize that airplane 
seats are even less adequately secured 
than automobile seats. Of course, as we 
go on to higher speeds and supersonic 
transports, the problems of safety will 
become even more urge less 
susceptible to simple solutions. I think 
the situation in general would be cou 
siderably improved, however, if the 
commercial airlines and the plane manu- 
facturers would channel some of their 
multimillion-dollar revenues into safety 
research and safer planes. 

PLAYBOY: Have the commercial carriers 
airplane manufacturers responded to 
demands for improved air safety? 
NADER: Let me give you a concrete ex 
ample, The Allison company, a major 
airplane manufacturer, discovered in 
1967 that a number ol Convair 580s it 


t—but far 


There are three kinds of leg fatigue. 
If you're over 21, you've got one of them. 
T2 


PLAYBOY 


un-tingle a tingling leg better than just about 
anything. It goes up over-your-calf, but it 


Ш 


My-Legs-Are-Killing-Me variety. 
It is commonly found in The third kind of leg fatigue is the 
the over 40 American Male and simplest, but the hardest to identify. 
can be observed running to get -n Because it occurs in the 20-ish year 
on commuter trains or running to get off old Male. (And what 20-ish year old Male 
commuter trains. admits his legs ever feel tired?) 
It was for this kind of man that the 
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invented. Eme 
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It has been said, and completely that famous f 
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MAS- without the support of Johnny Unitas 


this pair of socks, thou- and Willie Mays 
sands of men wouldn’t wear Supp-hose. 
walk home at night. Just be- 
They'd be carried. Cause Supp-hose is 
The second kindof good for men with 

leg fatigue is one that’s hig leg problems 


rapidly gaining in popu- doesn’t mean it can’t 
И larity: The Tingles. also be good for 1 
3 = The Tingles can men with little leg 4 
strike anywhere. Around the calf, the ankle, problems. aun. 
even a whole side of your leg. Maybe it's 
If you're over 30, one of these days, a run-down feeling around noon. 
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had sold to commercial airlines had de- 
fective engines. The specific defect was 
a soft piston, which leads to the separa- 
tion of the propeller, which will then cut 
into the fuselage and destroy the plane. 
This is such a serious problem that any 
aeronautical engincer would urge the 
immediate notification of the operators 
of such planes to ground, disassemble 
and repair them. Allison didn’t do this, 
nor did it inform the Federal Aviation 
Agency of the defect. Some time after 
Allison's discovery of the problem, one 
of the Convair 580s they had sold to 
Lakc-Central crashed in Ohio, killing all 
38 persons aboard. A subsequent inves- 
tigation proved beyond doubt that the 
plane crash was caused by a soft pistoi 
and as a result, the FAA fined Allison 
the staggering sum of S8000 which 
works out to approximately S200 per 
fatality, Allison fought valiantly to have 
the fine reduced to $4000, but it did not 
succeed. The 1 nature of this fine 
and of the deterrent proceeding from 
it is accentuated by the fact that 
the prior six years, Allison had been 
cited by the Federal Aviation Agency 
over 100 times for manufacturing irregu- 
larities іп propeller producti 
"There are, unfortunately, no criminal 
penalties regarding aircraft hazards in 
the Federal Aviation Act, not even for 
airlines or manufacturers that wi Ifulty 
and knowingly allow defective planes 
to be sent from their plants without 
warning the purchaser. If someone had 
planted a bomb on that plane to kill a 
relative and collect insurance money, he 
would have been sentenced to death or 
life imprisonment for the murder of 38 
people; Allison was fined $8000. Anoth- 
er long-standing violation on which the 
FAA has remained silent involves fire- 
detection systems on many aircraft, in 
duding many Boeing 707s and 7275, 
which have not met the FAA's require- 
ment of a fivesecond response time to 
warn the pilot of a fire in the power 
plant. These systems now take up to 15 
seconds to signal an alarm. which in 
modern aircraft is a critical delay. 
PLAYBOY: Are the legal penalties meted 
out to other firms that violate the 
lenient as the one levied on Allison? 
NADER: Lenient is hardly the wor 
we were as lenient toward individual 
crime as we are toward  big-business 
crime, we'd empty the prisons, dissolve 
the police forces and subsidize the crim- 
inals. The basic problem here is that we 
adopt a double standard in dealing with 
individual crime and business crime. 
Take two men, both criminals: One has 
stolen а car and the other is a dn 
company executive who has Knowingly 
failed to warn the Food and Drug Ad- 
ministration or the medical profession of 
serious health dangers from a particular 
drug product. The car thief, who hus 
caused no physical injury to anybody, 


will be dealt with severely by the 
courts; while the drug executive, whose 
illegal action may have resulted in many 
injuries and even death, is let off with a 
rap on the wrist—if he's reprimanded at 
all. Coal-mine companies, for example, 
have been cited for thousands of recur- 
ring safety violations by the U.S. Bu- 
reau of Mines; but with one minor 
exception, no penalties have ever been 
levied for such violations, which are kill- 
ing or injuring hundreds of miners. To 
correct this double standard, we've got 
to redefine and recodify criminal law, 
which is almost wholly oriented to acts 
of individual crime and rarely, if at all, 
addresses itself to corporate crime and 
corporate executives. The problem 

icularly severe today, because ethi- 
cal standards in industry аге. more often 
than not, distressingly low. A Harvard 
Business Review survey found that four 
out of every seven business executives 
pulled said they “would violate a code 
of ethics whenever they thought they 
could avoid detection We're always 
hearing about "crime in the streets” to- 
day, but crime in the executive confer- 
ence room affects far more Americans. 

Buried the most recent task-force 
report of the President's National Crime 
Commission is a brief section on bust 
ness crime, which reveals that every 
year, the public is mulcted of from 
$500.000,000 to one billion dollars by 

lone. Dishonest and 
in the arca of drugs, 
therapeutic aids and home repairs rob 
the consumer of even more untold hun- 
dreds of millions of dollars annuall 
"The automobile industry has knowing- 
ly permitted cars with safety defects 
to reach the market, th no effort 
to recall them or to inform the unwit- 
ing buyer. Irresponsible use of pesticides 
and chemicals poison and kill thousands 
of hum: gs every year. Yet willful 
i ions in all these ar € punished 
only by mild civil fines that will never 
deter corporate malpractice. The civil 
penalties generally meted out are so 
modest that the big corporation won't 
even blink an eye at them; and on the 
rare occasions when the fines are stiff, 
the corporations just pass the cost on to 
the consumer in the form of higher retail 
prices. 

In order to correct this situation, we 
must amend the laws so that all willful 
business violations of Federal safety codes 
come under criminal rather than civil 
law and convictions ble by 
imprisonment. Such penalties 
would pierce the corporate veil and reach 
the particular executive or official respon- 
sible for the violations and thus make 
the company more careful in the future. 
We already have criminal penalties in 
the area of price-fixing; as you may re- 
member, several GE and Westinghouse 
executives were subject to brief jail sen- 
tences in the early Sixties for systemat- 


illegal practices 


ically fixing prices over the period of 
a decade, a practice that led to over- 
charging consumers by hundreds of mil 
lions of dollars. So 1 see no reason why 
we should exempt the auto, gas-pipeline 
and electronics industries, or any other 
big corporation, from similar crimi 
penalties, when their illegal practices 
jeopardize the health and safety of the 
consuming public. In the case of General 
Electric, the deterrent to price-fixing ws 
not the fine but the sentence, and 
this is true in every industry. This is 
the one penalty that can reach the cul- 
ble executive. He cannot elude it by 
nierposing a buffer of corporate priv 
lege or by hiding behind some company 
bylaws th ndemnify him from any 
fines or liabilities, civil or criminal. 
PLAYBOY: Why arc economic crimes such 
ice-fixing more likely to be punished 
by criminal sanctions than violations of 
safety and health laws? 
NADER: Because the latter laws are of 
morc recent origin and industry lob. 
byistlawyers have been successful thus 
far in averting most proposed criminal 
alties in this field. As far as the law 
ned, we were much more 
stringent toward corporations at the turn 
of the century than we are today. I 
don't believe there will ever be real 
progress in corporate reform until we 
put tecth into legislation by providing 


for criminal sanctions whenever the law 
is deliberately violated to the detriment 


of human life. | can't overestimate the 


importance of this; not only are Ameri- 
cans being injured or falling ill because 
of business crime; not only are future 
generations being subjected to higher 
isks of physical and mental deformity 
and debilitation as a result of today's 
chemical and radiation hazards; but 
people are also being fleeced of millions 
and millions of dollars. 

One authority in the field, Professor 
Sanford Kadish, told the President's Na- 
tional Grime Commission that “It is pos- 
sible to reason convincingly that the 
harm done to economic order by viola- 
tions of . . . regulatory laws is of a 
magnitude that dwarfs into insignificance 
the lower-class property offenses.” If one 
Jooks at all the big corporations that are 
abusing the consumer and getting away 
with it, the bank robber who steals 
510,000 and is hunted down by the whole 
machinery of state, local and Federal po- 
lice and spends 20 years in prison looks 

Imost pathetic by comparison. Next to 
the executives of our large corporations, 
he is a pretty small fish, indeed, The 
same bank might have made more than 
that in the same day with concealed in- 
terest rates on its loans. 

PLAYBOY: Who are the “lobbyist-lawyers” 
you criticize for persuading Congress to 
go casy on corporate crime? 

NADER: First of all, let me explain that 
there are two basic strata in the legal 
profession in this country. On the one 
hand, you have a majority of lone lawyers 


ГА 
uut lh, 


“Sir, I'd like to request transfer out 
of the Light Brigade.” 


205 


PLAYBOY 


206 


who work with poor or middle-class 
dicnts; you can have serious ethical 
problems with this type of lawyer in the 
accident, estate or Joan area, but the 
abuses generally aflect only individual 
clients who are exploited in one way or 
another. This is the more petty type of 
legal chicanery, which, while it must be 
corrected, does not create a legitimizing 
legal framework for itself. But you also 
have the wealthy Wall Street-Washing- 
ton law firms that represent the huge 
corporations, and here the ethical prob- 
lems become really acute. The worst 
problem is at the top, not the bottom; 
the legal profession, like a fish, rots from 
the head down. My interest, conse- 
quently, is primarily focused on these 
mega-law firms, because they are among 
the strongest power brokers in our socie- 
ty, particularly between industry and 
Government; and they are also the least 
understood power elite in the natior 

‘These law firms, as the legal agents 
of the large corporations, arc involved 
directly in preserving and extending cor- 
porate exploitation of the consumer, of- 
ten under Government protection vi 
laws they draft. Such lawyers have ab- 
dicated or distorted their legal ethics 
and their responsibility to the public in- 
terest for million-dollar retainers. The 
behavior of these firms is particularly 
irresponsible because they also set the 
ethical tone for the litle lawyer who 
works with individual clients; as he 
gazes up at the Olympian peaks of the 
Wall Street- Washington law firms and 
witnesses the squalid blue-chip cavort- 
ing of the country’s best-paid and most 
respected lawyers, it's inevitable that he 
will want his slice of the pie, too. After 
all, he'll say to himself, if they're re- 
warded with $500,000 homes and invi- 


to the White House, why 
shouldn't he, in his own little practice, 
emulate their example? And so the 


whole sordid ethical code of these large 
firms filters down the linc and helps 
«eate the same kind of operational 
atmosphere for other lawyers. 

ethical acts do 
you claim these large law firms commit? 
NADER: Let me give you two examples, 
And let me stress at the outset that tli 
activities, while profoundly unethical, 
are rarely illegal; they stay within the 
strict letter of the law—which they or 
their predecessors often helped write. As 
а case in point, let's take the cigarette- 
labeling legislation. that passed. Congress 
in 1965. Here you had a question of great 
and lasting significance for public health: 
What should Congress do, if anything, 
in the light of the Surgeon General's re- 
port on the health hazards of smoking? 
‘There w: considerable demand, voiced 
by the public and echoed in Congress, 
that strict legislation be passed, warning 
the consumer of the dangers of smoking 
and initiating antismoking campaigns 
and research for safer cigarettes on a 


large scale. As this controversy got under 
way, the tobacco industry began marshal- 
ing its forces in Washington through its 
lobby, the Tobacco Institute, headed by 
ex-Senator Earle C. Clements, which mo- 
bilized legal support for the industry. 

Now, you've got to remember that 
whenever à major industry gets into real 
trouble, it doesn't go to its trade associ: 
оп or its house counsel, but to these 
Washington-Wall Street firms that are 
stalled by men who have served in 
Government, who have penctrated. the 
interstices of power and who are thus 
eminently qualified to mediate and re- 
solve problems—wlio are, in short, mas- 
ters of. preconflict resolution, or the art 
of settling problems in the back room 
before they burst into the public lime- 
light and generate democratizing pres- 
sures that cannot be controlled. In this 
case, the Tobacco Institute, the industry 
spokesman, enlisted a number of top 
Washington law firms, the most impor- 
tant of which were Arnold, Fortas & 
Porter—at which Abe Fortas, now a Su- 
preme Court Justice and a longtime 
friend of L. B. ] was a senior partner— 
and Covington & Burling, led by Thom: 
Austern, a veteran lawyer and backslap- 
ping Washington contact man. These 
lawyers, with the occasional help of Mr. 
Fortas, met daily to plot a strategy 
that would decide the Government's pub- 
ic policy on a major health problem for 
years to come, and they lobbied relent- 
lessly with Congressmen, bringing to 
bear all their influence and all the cco- 
nomic power of the tobacco industry, 

What was the result? Congress passed 
a Cigarette Labeling Bill—spearheaded 
by Dixiecrat legislators from tobacco 
сас completely without 
teeth; a bill, in fact, that the tobacco 
industry had desired desperately and 
which fulfilled its every corporate need. 
The bill did three major things for the 
industry. First, by requiring that each 
cigarette pack be labeled on the side 
with the messige “Smoking may be haz- 
ardous to your health,” it put the smok- 
cr on notice and gave the industry a 
persuasive defense against potential lia- 
bility suits. Now they can say to the 
pl court, “Since we wamed you 
before you assumed the risk, we are ab- 
solved of all responsibility.” Let me add 
parenthetically that even the wording of 
is warning was weak: "Smoking may be 
rdous 10 your health,” instead of, as 
the Surgeon General's report and every 
other serious study demonstrates, "Smok- 
i gerous to your health." The 
second boon the bill gave the industry 
was that it headed off the states from tak- 
ing any action to protect consumers from 
smoking hazards at least until 1969. This 
it to the industry, be- 
cause legislators in New York State, under 


was 


the leadership of state senator Edward 
Spino, were on the verge of passing very 


seemed ready to follow New York's 
lead. So the bill gave the industry а five- 
breathing space. during which time 
roducts could continue to be sold 


innovations such as the 100- 


its р 
while 


millimeter cigarette could be introduced. 
‘The third thing the bill did for the in- 
to preclude the Federal Trade 


dustry w 
Commission, which had just 
stringent proposed rules concerning 
cigarette advertising, from acting in any 
way again, at least until 1969. So this bill, 
which many naïve citizens viewed as a 
blow to the tobacco industry, actually con- 
stituted a Congressional surrender to the 
industry. And who were the architects 
of this remarkable tour de force? Wash- 
ington corporate attorneys who listen 
to after-dinner pontifications about law- 
yers’ being the soul and conscience of 
society. 

Let me give you just one more exam- 
ple of this type of thing. One of the 
smallest but most powerful Washing- 
ton law firms, which is also most adept 
at defeating the public interest, was 
Clifford & Miller, headed by the re- 
doubtable Clark Clifford, friend of Presi- 
dents and presently our Secretary of 
Defense. As a result of the conviction 
of General Electric, Westinghouse, Allis- 
Chalmers and other companies for viola- 
tion of the antitrust act by collusive 
long-term price-fixing, which was de 
signed to maintain high wholesale 
prices for GE's and other corporations’ 
electrical equipment, a number of mu- 
nicipalities and other customers demand- 
ed repayment of overcharges. After a 
good deal of grumbling, the companies 
agreed то pay out about 5500.000.000 


ued some 


in punitive damages. Prior to most 
of these settlements, GE called 
Clark Clifford, who knows his way 


around Washington, and asked him to 
use his considerable influence to per- 
suade the Internal Revenue Service to 
rule that the money GE and the other 
culpable companies had to pay out in 
damages was tax-deductible. Alter some 
persuasive representation by Clifford, 
believe it or the IRS ruled just 
that—which meant that the punitive 
damages GE and its price-fixing part- 
ners paid out as restitution for their own 
criminal activities were written off as 
"ordinary and necessary” business ex- 
penses; and as a result, the amounts 
were offset against profits and the Fed- 
eral Government got 50 percent less in 
tax payments from the electrical compa- 
volved—a difference ultimately 
underwritten by the American tax- 
payer. So Clark Clifford saved СЕ over 
$100,000,000; even a one-percent fee for 
such services would amount to $1,000,000. 
This is the kind of leverage—and 


not 


nics 


“Let me lake your things... . 


PLAYBOY 


208 


incentive —these top Washington lawyers 
have. Even if the pul i 

ced in the proces, no criticism is 
leveled at these attorneys. 

PLAYBOY: How do the top corporation 

» п such influence? 

By skillfully 
е of their corpora 
their own personal influence in Wash- 
ngton, They have done this in many 
ways, but the most important factor has 
been their ability to curry Presidential 
or Cabinetlevel favor—by helping the 
President, for example, get business sup- 
port for his ta: ion and balance- 
ments policies, by lobbying in 
ams, by 
ing lor the party organization and 
raising campaign funds, by setting up key 
task-force advisory committees, by per- 
suading prominent businessmen to accept 
high-level Government appointments 
and by frequently assisting the Chief 
Executive and other high officials on 
a wide range of ticklish policy m 
Now, all of these nonremunerative 
"publie services," of course, a 
implicit quid pro quo. The lawyer is 
vpaid with special early access to Gov- 
ernment information that will be of use 
to his corporate clients on rulings, regu- 
ations, licensing or quotas; or the Gov- 
ernment will take a stand favorably 
disposed to a particular economic inter- 
est represented by such a lawyer; or a 
Federal agency will delay in acting con- 
trary to that economic interest. 
PLAYBOY: Wouldn't lawyers such as Cl 
ford and Fortas 
ient that they are only serving their 
and that in a free society everyone 
has a right to legal representation? 
NADER: No one questions a company's 
or an industry's right to legal represen- 
ation. It’s how they're represented, 
for what purpose, that is the issue. 17 
there were law firms on the other side to 
ient the consumer, to make secret 
ion public, to engage in meticu- 
to expose pay-olls and 
ctiees, then lawyers 
like Clark Clifford would not be sudi 
influential industry lobbyists. "There's 
nothing reprehensible or unethical, lor 
example, about a criminal lawyer repre- 
senting a crime chieftain, because his 
efforts are countered and the public pro- 
tected by the 1 attorney's. office, 
the police and the whole prosecuting 
machinery of the state. There are, 
fortunately, no such countervailing forces 
ir Washington. 

It has to be driven home to the Amer- 
ican people that the relationship between 
big business and these top law firms i 
not а normal attorney-client опе but 
nership ext g far beyond the 
court process into legislation, administra- 
tion. political and diplomatic lobby 
business. 


the 


coordinating 
те client. with 


огра 


ters, 


have 


answer with the 


you 


dist 


un- 


m 


The American people must know how 
much power these lawyers have and 
how that power is frequently exercised 
to the public detriment, During the 


1966 zutosalety battle in Congress, for 
mple, the four U.S. auto companies 


ing the law from including ст 
penalties for willful and knowing v 
tions that would endanger human 


criminal sanctions for such acts 
knowingly putting defective vehicles 
on the market and not recalling them, 
watering down or adulterating 
fluids, etc, would be punitive, 
necessary and impossible to enforc 
lore Congress caved in to Cutler, who 
applied a good deal of pressure, Senator 
се Hartke, who had introduced the 
criminal-sanctions provision, asked why 
there was such desperate lobbying by the 
auto industry to forestall a sanction that 
would apply only to knowing and willful 
violations of the law and not to structural 
flaws or failure to innovate safety im- 
provements. He didn't get an 
Did Mr. Cutler have an ethic 
responsibility to consider the 
human and social effects of his services? 
Did he appreciate the fact that he was 
exempting from criminal penalties not 
only his four auto-company ci 
also thousands of suppliers and distribu- 
tors whose integrity Mr. Cutler might not 
so ea Apparently, he lost 
little sleep ove dilemm 
PLAYBOY: Which Congressmen do you 
feel are the most receptive to pressure 
Пот these lawyer-lobbyists? 

NADER: Well, by far the most dedicated 
anticonsumer legislator in Congress, and 
the one with the most power, is Everett 
McKinley Dirksen, the G. O. P. Minority 
Leader. The honey-lunged Senator has 
made quite a hit in pop music recently, 
but he the tune of the 
nd with consid- 
erable clout. is really a gi 
boon to every business lobbyist in 
Washingt His olhce is packed with 
them; he spends much of his time mi 
tering to their demands. And he is 
rect pipeline from the lobbyists to the 
Congressional. Record; he doesn't even 
bother to filter the speeches 
ments they write for him, but delivers 
them verbatim on the Senate floor, with 
all the power and prestige of his office 
behind them. ksen has been an er- 
vand boy for the auto industry, the rail- 
the private 
the atomic-power industry. the 
ndustry, the steel and aluminum 
the oil industry; you name 
ite interest and Everett 
hful emissary. 

other Senators do you 


nd stale- 


drug 
industries 
any large corpo 
Dirksen is its 


NADER: Some others are Senators Carl 
Curtis and Roman Hruska of Nebraska, 
Spessard Holland of Florida and Jack 
Miller of Iowa. But the blue-chip Senator 
whom many business interests are most 
anxious to win over is Jacob Javits of New 
York, His liberal image, secure electoral 
n within the n: 


posi ion's most. pow! 
ful state and his convincing advocacy of 
issue are all premium attributes. in thei 
eyes, And Senator Javits has not been 
reluctant to bend these talents in the 
interests of the big corporations to 
point that even some of his admirers bi 
lieve thwarts the public interest. Other 
Senators, while not across-the-board foes 
of the consumer, have vi y pro- 
moted the interests of specific industries 
that are impor and econom- 
ic factors within their own states, Senate. 
Majority Whip Russell Long of Louisi- 
ana, for example, who is strategically 
placed to influence legislation, proudly 
mits that he represents oil and other 
industries operating in his state. Гуе 
heard lobbyists wryly remark that. the 
way to neutralize Senator Long's opposi 
tion or even gain his support is to build 
a plant in Lo at the present rate 
of constructi will be in- 
dustrialized the next decade 
and the erstwhile populist Senator may 
have forgouen the consumer completely. 
A similar attitudinal evolution has oc- 
cuted, I'm sony to say, with other Se 
ators who initially championed con: 
issues but then “mellowed” 
PLAYBOY: In order to at least partially 
counteract the influence of the lawyers 
who work as lobbyists for the big corpo- 
ions, we understand you plan to or- 
publicinterest law firm. How 
will it operate? 

NADER: It will be exactly what its name 
implies: а law firm—the first of several, 1 
would hope—to represent the interests of 
the public whenever and wherever the 
are jeopardized by corporate irrespon: 
bility and Government inertia. The firm 
will be composed of attorneys but will 
also eventually encompass talents from 
the medical, scientific, engineering, eco- 
nomic and accounting professions. H 
will be based here in Washington, so 
that we сап keep our finger on the pulse 
bea nd will handle no indi- 
vidual cases but, instead, represent the 
consumer by unearthing evidence of 
corporate abuses, cooperating with Coi 
gressional committees and appearing 
before regulatory agencies, such as the 
Federal Trade Commission and the Na- 
tional Highway Safety Bureau. Whe: 
ever consum ed issues have been 
considered up till now, industry spoke 
men and lobbyists have turned up in 
droves and dominated. the proceedings, 
because there has респ no organized 
countervailing force representing the 
consumer. I hope that this public-interest 


within 


imer 
in office. 


of power, 


In co-operation with our governments request 
to limit overseas travel, 
we decided to bring this color over here. 


Time was, if you wanted a shoe this Our plan was simple. Then, having made it a domestic 
color, you had to go abroad. We would go. And bring the color color, we gave it a domestic name: 
- So every year thousands of Ameri- Баск with us. Thereby saving thou- — Char-tan. 
cans went abroad. With bulging bill. sands of Americans the trip. And You can have it right here, right 
folds. And half-empty suitcases. keeping all those dollars at home. now, in the shoe we show. Or in any 

And they bought shoes. Of the So we brought back samples. otherof yourfavorite Freeman styles. 
color we're talking about. And we reproduced that earthy, For several hundred dollars less 

ал we love pur, country. © stalliony, hand burnished color we'd than it would have cost you to get it 

And since we happen to be inthe only glimpsed on returning travelers before. CHAR-TAN BY „3, 
shoe business—andrecognizeagood (and some very distinguished visi- £g Fi 

tors) before. FR E E MAN di 


thing when we see it—we took steps. 
IBECTHAKER GUILD, FREE FLEX, CONTOUR CUSHION, NASTER-FITTER. $19.55 TO 316 00. FREENIN-TOOR CORPORATION, BELOIT, WISCONSIN $2511. ОМОН OF THE UNITEO STATES SHOE CORPORATION. 


PLAYBOY 


210 


law firm will start to fill that large gap. 
PLAYBOY: Isn't what you're proposing less. 
a law firm than a consumers’ lobby? 
NADER: You could call it that. Although 
there will be other skills supportive of 
the attorneys’, my emphasis will be on 
the legal aspect. I believe it is urgent to 
attract bright and idealistic young law 
graduates into the service ol the public 
before they are absorbed into establish- 
mentarian law firms. 1 believe the con- 
cept of a publicinterest law firm could 
add a new and positive dimension to the 
legal profession und help orient it to its 
i purpose of serving the public— 
for commercial inter- 
y nction 
п these publicinterest lawyers 
nd traditional lawyers is that these are 
‘yers without specific clients, without 
retainers. Their only client will be the 
American public. 
PLAYBOY: How much will it cost to estab 
lish such a law firm? 
NADER: To begin a firm at a modest level 
of 12 professional people. with secretarial 
and other overhead, I would estimate 
that the cost will run in the ncighbor- 
hood of $300,000 a ycar 
PLAYBOY: Where will you get the money? 
NADER: I hope it will come from publi 
spirited individuals or foundations. 
PLAYBOY: Along these lines, i 
two y broadened your ho 
rizons to encompass а w ange of iv- 
sues affecting the publics health and 
well-being, from conditions in meat- 
processing plants to radiation overexpo- 
sure during medical X rays, Taking 
them one at a time, why have you 
added sanitary conditions in the meat 
industry to your list of consumer causes? 
NADER: In 1906, Upton Sindair pub- 
lished The Jungle, a graphic novel about 


the past 
ars you ha 


bad health conditions in 
king houses. There was a 


were broadcast on the front page of 
every newspaper in the county; and 
Teddy Roosevelt invited him to the 

gy to correct 


one book, Congress passed the Meat 
Inspection Act of 1906, providing for 
Federal inspection of slaughterhouses en- 
aged in interstate commerce, and the 
nation heaved a collective sigh of relief 
Unit a glaring abuse was on the way to 
melioration. Civic textbooks still cite 
The Jungle as a classic case of a galva- 
nized publi g up to stamp out 
corporate abuse. But today, 62 years 
later, health conditions in much of the 


visi 


meat industry have actually deterio- 
rated. At the tum of the century, 


plants were undeniably foul, but it 
wasn't as cay to pass olf meat from 
ased pigs to the public; 
the stench of decay alone was a give- 
away to the buyer. Today, however, 
thanks to the marvels of chemical doc- 
toring and deep-frecze. storage, the con- 
sumer сап no longer depend on his 
sense of taste, smell or sight to warn 
him. As a result, the American public is 
consuming large quantities of putrescent. 
and disease 
PLAYBOY: Could you give us some exam- 
ples? 

NADER: You е to break the problem 
down into three distinct but interrelated 
areas. First, take the animal on the hoof. 
Are diseased animals utilized for hu- 
man consumption? The evidence is that 
hundreds of thousands of “4D" animals 
—"Dead, Dying, Diseased, abled"— 
| meat plants across the 


cancerous or di: 


idden m 


re processed 
country. There are “specialty buyers” of 


“All this bellyaching about organized crime gives 
me a pain. Law enforcement is organized, ain't it?” 


such 4D mals at livestock auctions, 
who buy them at low cost and then 
process them inexpensively in plants 
immune to Federal inspection. These 
buyers—who are mot just fly-by-night 
rators but often represent substantial 
ve, of course, а big competitive 
edge over the buyer of healthy me 
and a kind of Gresham's law comes into 
whereby diseased meat forces 
wholesome meat out of a market. Once 
they get these animals to the stock- 
yards, all they do is cane out the 
diseased portion of the steer and process 
the remains for your dining table—alter 
proper doctoring by artificial preser 
, seasoning agents, antibiotics and 
even detergents. So the 4D animal is one 
jor factor in the situation. 

The second area of importance is the 
sanitary condition of the slaughterhouse 
and packing house; here, a realistic de- 
scription becomes so 
in credulity. If you examine the re- 
ports of Federal or state inspectors— 
most of which are not acted upon by 
the relevant regulatory agency—you ll. 
read of plants where rats, roaches and 
other vermin have free run of the prem- 
ies; where paint flakes off ceiling and 
alls and falls into the processing vats; 
where conditions are so filthy that car- 
ted by cobwebs, 
nd decomposing fa 
caught in table crevices; where the m. 
chines ате unwashed and rusty; where 
workers with hairy for 
they mix the meat to scrape it off their 
arms and into the vat, with their hair 


nauscating as to 


casses 
worms, 


as a bonus to the consumer. 


and swe 

The Department of Agriculture re- 
cently supplied me—reluctandy—with 
п unpublished state-by-state study of 
intrastate meat-processing plants, which 
are not subject to Federal inspection. 
There are 15,000 such plants and they 
account. for 25 percent of all meat sold 
in the United States, or almost eight 
llion pounds—enough meat to [eed 
50,000,000 people annually. This study, 
prepared by Dr. M. R. Clarkson, had 
been gathering dust in the department's 
files—and it's not designed for bedi 
reading. Let me read you its conclusion 
which condemns the meat processors 
and packers for “allowing edible por- 
tions of carcasses to come in contact 
with manure, pus and other sources of 


ations; allowing m 
ing preparation 


food producis dui 
to become contami 
with filth from improperly cle 
equipment and facilities; fail 
procedures to detect or control pai 
transmitted to man that could lead to 
diseases such as trichinosis and cysticer 
cosis; failure to supervise destruction of 
obviously discascd issues and spoiled, 
putrid and filthy materials.” 

This report prepared in 1963, 
and recently, Representative Purcell re- 
quested the Department of Agriculture 


vated 


was 


to lundi а new study of 
plants to determine if there I 
any change in conditions. A Depi 
official subsequently confessed that there 
had, indeed, been changes: the rats and 
roaches of 1963 had shuffled off this 
mortal сой, but their descendants were 
carrying on business as usual. In 1966 
alone, Federal inspectors condemned 
250,000,000 pounds of diseased, decaying 
or contaminated meat, but it was only 
a drop in the vat. Parenthetically, let 
me add that while this type of meat is 
sold across the counter all over the coun- 
try, the most unwholesome meat of all 
way to the black ghettos, where 
sold at reduced rates to unscrupu: 
retailers, who then peddle it at 
inflated prices to the Negro slum dweller. 

But the third and final 
meat processing, the “ 
in some ways even more insidious thar 
the use of 4D animals and the prev 
of unsanitary health conditions. 
es are very convenient when you 
have a situation where diseased animals 
ng processed and even healthy 
re contaminated. by filthy con- 
nts. The consumer is 
obviously not going to be thrilled with 
maggoty or putrescent meat, so some- 
thing has to be done to mask its real 
state, Enter the add seasoning 
agents, preservatives, antibiotics, coloring 
agents and a supplementary baitery of 
chemical adulterants that cllectively рге 
vent the consumer's nose or eye from 
spotting the true condition of the meat 
sold to him. This is probably the most 
fundamental type of consumer deception 
prevalent in the market place. Not only 
do these additives neutralize our senses 
of detection, some of them are them- 
selves patently unsafe, and others present 
unknown risks. 

As a corollary to these three basic 
areas of abuse, there is also an addition- 
al health problem in the meat industry: 
the elect of the animal's own organic 
condition on our bodies. If too much 
fertilizer been used in growing the 
grain or grass eaten by a particular ani- 
mal, for example, we ingest inordinate 
amounts of nitrates when we eat a por- 
ion of that animal. And what of the 
nsecticides nal absorbs through 


а 


biotics tha 
while it's 
as additives while its being processed? 
Anyone on a steady diet of such m 
is, in elica, immunizing himself 
ntibiotice—so that they'll h 
effect on him when he really needs u 
—as well as absorbing whatever unde- 
le cumulative effects they may have 
on his system. The Food and Drug Ad- 

inistration is now proposing to tighten 
safeguards on antibiotic ingestion prior 
to slaughter. Basically, you see, the con- 
sumer is just not aware of what is really 


Sta- 


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Where-To-Buy-lt? Use REACTS Card—Page 35. 


211 


PLAYBOY 


212 


happening to him when he sits down to 
that juicy steak or munches on a ham- 
The more we find out about 

into our foods, the more con- 
cerned biologists and nutritionists are 


becoming. A recent conference of leadin 
geneticists and biologists brought forth 
expressions of deep concern about the 


effect of food additives on our chromo- 
some structure. But thanks to the meat 
industry's subordination of health to 
profits and the Government's indiffer- 
litle has been done to improve 
the situatio 


NADER; The worst 
burgers, hot dogs, sausages 
luncheon meats, such as bologna, salami 
and liverwurst. All these processed 
meats constitute an imaginative food in- 
novation; they ar 


ойеп used as a handy 
profitable dump that allows the 
packers to get vid of their scrap meat 
substandard or diseased meat and their 
less desirable cuts. All they do is 
douse all these inlerior leftovers with 
coloring and seasoning agents and mir- 
ket them to an unsuspecting public. 
Court evidence has shown that contam 
nated meat, horse meat and пи from 
diseased animals that were originally slat- 
ed for dog or cat food have often wound 
up as hamburgi while lungs. 
eyeballs, pig blood and chopped hides аге 
mixed into hot dogs and luncheon meats. 

To reduce the stench and foul taste, 
such hamburger is frequently i 


and 


gives old and de 
healthy pink blush; a recent survey 
New York discovered sulfite additives 
26 out of every 30 hamburgers sampled. 
Since the meat used is often filthy, de- 
tergents are frequently used to wash olf 
the dirt and, to stretch the profit, so- 
called binders are added to hold the 
shreds of meat. together—generally cere 
ils, bur occasionally sawdust. Not 
prisingly, I would personally never 
hamburger, a hot dog, a sausage or any 
luncheon meat: йз mot beyond the 
realm of possibility that you could get a 
good hamburger, hot dog or sausage, but 
why tike а chane 
PLAYBOY: Ате you saying that such well- 
known mcat procesors as Swift, Wilson 

nd Armour—and sı 
crs as Safeway, Kroger and А. & P.—sell 
contaminated meat to their customers? 
NADER: Yes. Surveys made by the U.S. 
Department of Agriculture indicate that 
even these large and well-known fi 
have often engaged in purchase and 
of contaminated meat products. 
must ascribe to these comps 
tain degree of awareness and knowledge 
bout the products they are selling to 
their customers—particularly when Gov- 
ernment reports have brought the situa- 
ion to their attention. 


sur- 
ata 


h well-known ret 


One 
cer 


nies 


PLAYBOY: Yet most of the abuses you've 
cited have occurred іп intrastate meat 
processing and packaging plants, which 
are immune to Federal inspection. How 
eflective has Federal inspection been i 
interstate plants? 

Naber: Federal inspection is certainly 
much better than state inspection, but 
that’s not really saying a great deal, be- 
cause most of the state inspectors are 
snugly in the pocket of th indus- 
try. State inspection agencies are heavily 
larded with patronage appointments who 
have political ambitioi the 
posts as and the industry 
handles them with the requisite. friend- 
ship, courtesy, persuasion and generosity 
ake the whole system an empty 
le. But there is a professional corps 
of veterinarians working as Federal in- 
spectors, and in general they do i 
bes: but there аге too few of them to 
adequately inspect the thousands of 
plants across the country. The inspec- 
tion agency cannot assemble an ellective 
E because it been undersub: 
dived by Congress, which in the past 
has been altogether too receptive to lob- 
byists for the meat industry. Not. only 
do we need more inspectors, we песа a 
better rotation system so they don't get 
too chummy with the industry and close 
their eyes to violations; and. above all. 
we need to train far more veterinarians 
s inspectors. But there will be no real 
»provement until all meatpacking and 
processing plants, intra as well as inter- 
state, are brought und 
supervision. The meat pa 
sors and state departments of ay 

‚ predictabl nst an 

inspection 
the consumer, they have 


jew 


sinecure 


ture, which has avoided voluntary r 
ol the evidence of nvestigators 
about conditions in the meat industry. 

PLAYBOY: Why? 

NADER: Because the Department. is pri- 
marily concerned with “helping the 
economy" by promoting meat sales and 
fears that any bad publicity would hurt 
business Of. course, the Department's. 
promotional and regulatory roles fre 
quently clash—but the regulatory role 
always scems to come out on the short 
end. Over the years, Congressional hear: 
ings on health conditions in the meat 
dustry could have been called at any 
time the Department requested them 
but it never did. And the Department is. 
now moving to let certified state inspec- 
tors approve meat shipped in interstate 
commerce, which could seriously crode 
the Federal inspection system, Here is a 
ituation where responsible Government 
could protect the health of n 
lions of citizens—yet the Government 
has chosen to sit on the facts, hold 
the hand of the meat industry and shud- 
der whenever the state commissioners. 
of agriculture bellow. Only continuous 


public vigilance by Congress and inte 
ested citizens will change this situation 
PLAYBOY: Your exposure of abuses in the 
industry over the past few years was 
largely responsible for the passage i 
1967 of toughened amendments to the 
Federal Meat Inspection Act. which com 
pels the states to enforce on intrast 
packers and processors the same hygien 
code imposed by Federa i 
standards. Have sanitary condi 
proved since thenz 

NADER: To some extent, 
n s» to be donc, Under the new 
the states have about two years to b 
their inspection. programs up to Fede 
standards or а Federal take-over. 
idy. hundreds of plants considered 
a threat to health have been closed down 
permanently or suspended pending clean- 
up. What is really needed now, however, 


but 


is to nize the Agriculture Depart- 
ment into enforcement and compel it to 
sever its Damion-Pythias relationship with 


the meat industry. The tragedy is that all 
we really need to develop а comprehen- 
sive nationwide inspection service t 
would ensure а wholesome meat supply 


is $35,000,000 more than we're now 

spending—roughly a third the cost of 
ic submarine. 

PLAYBOY: After unsanitary conditions in 

the meat industry were widely publi- 


cized, primarily due to your own efforts. 
many health-conscious consumers turned 
to fish ay am alternative. Are fish prod- 


ucts safer than meat? 

NADER: Fish we substantially less sus- 
ceptible 1o disease than animals; so in 
that respect, you start with a plus. Never- 


theless, millions of Americans are cating 
poor-quality and polluted fish. products 
today. Deterioration, lack of proper 

tion in the fisheries, contamination 
of shellfish by polluted waters and ap. 
plication of chemical additives affect the 
quality of all fish sold on the market to- 
day—cunned, jarred, frozen or fresh. One 
problem is the manner in which the 
fish are caught; fishing boats are fre- 
quently old and shockingly unsi 
and even on the most modern boats, 
deteriorate in "hold pens" for five 
fourteen days before they reach 
fishery, with no refrigeration other than 
а few blocks of ice. Any fish stored at a 
temperature above Псела begins to 
deteriorate almost immediately and pre- 
sents a health problem. 


sh 
to 
the 


nd very few 


boats have anywhere near ade- 
ate refrigeration. 
The second problem concerns the 


self. There are 2200 fish. 
ts selling interstate in the 
United States, and sanitary conditions i 
ny of them are bad. This si 
t changed since the days when 1 
saw some of these plants in New Eng 

boy. I've spent a good 
me studying surveys of fish 
processing plants by the Food and Drug 


ood 
Administration; here is a mild extract 


fishery plant i 


The beer taste for the champagne pocketbook. 


BOTTLED AND BARRELED IN MUNICH, WHERE IT HAS BEEN BREWED SINCE 1383, LOWENBRAU IS IMPORTED BY HANS HOLTERBOSCH, INC. OF NEW YORK. 


PLAYBOY 


214 


from some recent reports: "Ihe fish 
were hung on wooden sticks for the 
processing operation. The sticks and 
nails were encrusted with rotten fish 
scales and particles from previous batch- 
es. Debris from previous batches of fish 
was trapped in the nicked tabletop, 
since no attempt was made to clean and 
sanitize the table between operations. 
These residues served to contaminate all 
batches of fish that passed over the ta- 
ble. No attempt was made to clean the 
rusty wire dip nets that were used to 
remove the fish from the thawing and 
brining casks. The nets had build-ups of 
bits of rotten fish flesh and entrails. . . . 
A rusty perforated metal scoop was gen- 
erally used to mix the brine solutions, In 
one instance, an employee picked a stick 
off the floor and used 
... After smoking, the fish were allowed 
to stand at room temperature for ap- 
proximately four and one half hours be- 
fore they were placed in a refrigerator." 

Fish contaminated by such grossly 
unsanitary conditions have led to serious 
outbreaks of illness and disease; people 
have died from botulism, monello: 
and shigellosis caused by infected fish. 
products. During the 1966 Memorial 
Day weekend. for example, 400 people 
in New York City suffered Salmonella 
poisoning as a result of eating smoked 
fish processed in unsanitary fisheries; 
and in 1063, nine people died of botu- 
lism poisoning after eating canned tuna. 
Delectively sealed cans of salmon or 
tuna frequently cause secretion of the 
deadly botulism organism: in 1967, the 
Food and Drug Administration had to 
recall and test over 2.000.000 cases of 
Alaskan salmon before they detected sev- 
eral thousand cans with unsealed seams. 

A related but slightly different prob- 
lem is the rising incidence of infectious 
hepatiti h in significant measure is 
due to the consumption of shellfish from 
waters polluted by sewage, garbage and 
industrial waste. This last hazard is the 
responsibility of groups other than own- 
ers of the fishing vessels; but it could be 
voided, wherever possible, by alert fisher- 
Professor John Nickerson of MIT 
te com- 
mittee investigating sanitary conditions 
in the fisheries and recounted his experi- 
ences with a typical fishery owner who 
said flatly that he "could make just as 
much money selling bad fish as he could 
selling good fish.” This, unfortunately, 
appears to be too common an attitude 
in the industry, even when there is no 
problem of actual disease present. 

So much of the fish we eat is of sub- 
standard quality—as has been demon- 
strated by studies conducted by both 
the Department of the Interior and 
Consumers Union—that it’s perfectly ac- 
curate to say the public is being system- 
tically swindled. Fishery products are 
highly nutritious and tasty foods, but 


mi 
recently appeared before a Sen 


average consumption per capita is less 
than seven percent of meat consump- 
tion; cleaning up conditions in this in- 
dustry would serve not only to save lives 
but to increase fish consumption; so it 
would be in the industry's own self- 
interest. 

PLAYBOY: Alter your exposure of un- 
nitary conditions in the meat and fish 
s, Congress held hearings on 
ihe subject and the prospect for reme- 
dial action brightened. You had already 
turned your attention to safety condi: 
tions in natural-gas pipelines. Why did 
you become involved in what seems to 
be such a marginal issue? 

NADER: It's hardly marginal, when you 
consider that some 800,000 miles of gas 
оп and distribution pipelines 
г unobtrusive way under woods 
and fields, by schools, homes and busi 
nesses and right into the heart of our 
cities and towns. Corrosion, inadeq! 
welding, lack of sufficient installation 
depth, brittle and thin pipe—sometimes 
only one tenth of an inch thick— nd 
other deterioration have caused numer- 
ous leaks and ruptures and created the 
potential for catastrophes caused by ig- 
nition of this gas. which is propelled 
through these pipelines at extremely 
high pressures, ranging up to 1300 
pounds per square inch. Under such sub- 
stantial pressure, there is always the 
danger of leakages that lead to explo- 
sions and to a particularly dangerous 
nd of fire, one that feeds on itself a 
the gas mixes with oxygen and rages like 
a giant llame thrower. 

To prevent this, of course, you need 
to have extremely strong and durable 
pipe, properly installed and regularly 
inspected, to make sure it stays in good 
condition—neither of which universally 
obtains today. To give just one example, 
sections of pipe were recently dug up 
beneath St. Louis and taken to a Con- 
gressional hearing on the subject. They 
had deteriorated drastically; pockniarks 
and small holes abounded and many 
gaping fissures in the pipe had been 
wrapped around with cloth as a stopgap 
measure to prevent leakages. It's а mira- 
cle that with the pipes in such cond 
there has not been a major explosion 
and/or conflagration in St. Louis. 

But these conditions exist all over the 
country. Sources on the Federal Power 
Commission estimate that up to four 
percent of the gas transmitted regularly 
leaks out of pipelines underneath our 
major cities, which means that there are 
thousands of cubic feet of highly vola- 
tile р ng around waiting for 
somebody to strike a match. Actually, 
it's quite remarkable, considering condi 
tions in the pipelines, that there haven't. 
been more accidents. The Federal Pow- 
er Commission was told by the industry 


of only 64 deaths and 222 injuries from 
transmission pipeline blowouts and fire 
over the 15-year period ending in 1965. 


Other observers think these figures, par 
ticularly the injuries, are greatly under- 
stated. Casualties for the much larger 
distribution line mileage are not com- 
piled by the Government, astonishingly 
enough. But there have been too many 
close calls for comfort. A rural school 
was blown up by a gas explosion only 
a few hours before it would have been 
packed with children: and in Queen 
there was a tremendous pas explosion 
last year that totally destroyed nine 
homes and seriously damaged eight oth- 
ulously, there were no injuries 
anks to prompt evacuation. 

Others haven't been so lucky. In Nau- 
gaoutouches, Louisiana, last year, а 
pipeline fire incinerated 18 people 
homes. The total damage settle- 
s $750,000, which the industry 
considered a cheap price to pay when 
compared with the cost of replacing old 
pipe with new. Since January of this 
year, explosions have taken the lives of 
seven children Georgia nursery and 
seven people near Pittsburgh: gas was 
also critically involved in a Richmond, 
Indiana, blast that incinerated several 
city blocks, killing 43 and injuring scores 
more. Numerous other gas fires this year 
have destroyed property and injured 
people. We now have an opportunity, 
before the situation reaches crisis propor- 
tions, to develop the type of safety pro- 
cedures that will foresee and forestall such 
disasters. Must we, as in auto safety, point 
to a mountain of dead bodies before 
the Federal Government or industry 
takes even the most halting action? No 
industry should be granted the right to 
a [ree major disaster. The time to act is 
now. 

PLAYBOY. Another issue you have re- 
cently championed is health conditions 
in uranium mines. But the uranium- 
mine workers who are exposed to radia- 
tion constitute only a tiny percentage of 
the population. You have warned t 
much larger number of people are being 
overexposed to X radiation in the course 
of medical and dental X rays What 
led you into this area—and how serious 
is it? 

NADER: Early in 1967, I came across 
technical paper by Dr. Karl Z. Mor 


a 


gan, director of health physics at the 
Oak Ridge Nati Laboratory. that 
warned of dangers to patients from 


overexposure to X radiation in medical 
nosis. I began corresponding with 
Dr. Morgan good deal 
of data on the subject, most of it from 
Federal and state health bureaus, health 
physicists and radiologists. What I found 
was shocking. Dr. Morgan, an_acknowl- 
edged expert in the X-ray field, esti- 
es that there are approximately 
3600 deaths each year due to X radia- 
tion and, i own words, "probably 
thousands of injuries for every death. 
X radiation, of course, comes from our 
natural background— 


environmental 


as 


PLAYBOY 


from rocks and from cosmic rays filtered 
through the atmosphere—as well as from 
man-made sources. We can do little 
about natural radiation, but most of the 
man-made ation to which we're ex- 
posed comes from medical and dental X 
rays; in 1966 alone, 150,000,000 X rays 
апа 7,000,000 fluoroscope films were 
taken in U.S. hospitals and doctors’ and 
dentists’ offices. The fluoroscope, 
dentally, is a kind of X-ray movie cam- 
era that gives exposures of radi 
from 100 to 200 percent greater th: 
comparable radiographic X rays. Dr. 
Morgan points out that “no matter how 
great the medical benefits derived from 
X rays, this is no justification of thc face 
that because of poor techniques 
obsolete and improperly operated equip- 
ment, many X-ray exposures are ten or 
more times that needed for the best 
diagnostic results.” 

The problem is compounded by the 
fact that the radiation doses received 
during medical or dental diagnosis in 
America are far higher than those in 
other industrialized п; ns. "The consen- 
sus of scientific. opi y rejects 
the previously held belief that there is 
a limit beyond which ra ion is not 
harmful; it's now conceded that rad 
tion mage is cumulative, that the 
more X radiation you absorb, starting 
from point zero, the greater the deteri- 
orative effect on your physiology and 
genetic structure, It's only relatively re- 
cently that we've discovered how dan- 
gerous such X radiation can be; it can 
induce cataracts, leukemia, other forms 
of cancer and lesser symptoms, such 
the loss of hair—and we'i i 
ning to observe the results of overex- 
posure to radiation a 

You may remember that starting be- 
fore World War Two and continuing till 
the Fifties, many physicians tried to 
remove аспе with X rays—some derma- 
tologists still do—and it was a common 
practice to treat children’s tonsils with 
X radiation to avoid surgery. Doctors 
would subject a child’s thalamus gland 
to radiation, in the belief that its reduc- 
tion was necessary to relieve the child's 
respiratory problem. They profligately 
employed X rays to treat a wide range 
of problems, some of them quite trivial, 
without any concept of the long-term 
consequences of such treatments. А re- 
search group at the University of Cali 
lornia's Medical Center recently studied 
the medical records of patients over the 
past 45 years and found that incidence 
of thyroid cancer had grown “at an un- 
precedented rate,” from two percent in 
the Twenties to 15 percent for the 1955— 
1965 period. These findings have been 
echoed by studies conducted by the 
New York State Department of Health 
and appear related to indiscriminate use 
rays over the past 30 years. 


PLAYBOY; You also mentioned the genetic 
effects of X rays. 

NADER: I did, indeed. In addition to its 
somatic effects, X radiation can alter the 
genetic inheritance and increase the risk 
of mutations. A patient who gets his 
teeth. X-rayed in a dentist's chair often 
has other parts of his body irradiated. 
"The average dose of X radiation absorbed. 
by the gonads during medical diagnosis is 
100 times the dose from radioactive fall- 
out, A pregnant woman overexposed to 
X rays in a doctor's office may give birth 
to a deformed or retarded child; Dr. 
Morgan believes that X-ray overex po- 
sures cause “hundreds and perhaps 
thousands of children to be born each 
year with mental and physical handi- 
caps of varying degrees.” And the great 
majority of these defects go undetected 
throughout the child’s life. How, for ex- 
ample, do you measure a 10 or 15 per 
cent reduction in a child's potential 
mental acuity or physical coordination? 
Dr. Morgan warns that "there may be as 
many as 10,000 nonvisible mutations for 
cach of the visible variety [and] these 
more subtle forms of damage . . . may 
in the long run do greater damage and 
e a greater burden on our society 
than those forms of radiation damage 
that result in the death of the individu. 
al" We are living in ап increasingly 
radioactive environment—thanks to man 
—with emissions from many sources; 
omething has to be done about this 
ituation, and soon. 

PLAYBOY: What do you suggest? 

NADER: Well, since 90 percent of all 
man-made X radiation comes from med- 
ical and dental diagnosis, we obviously 
have to start in the office of the doctor 
or the dentist. Dr. Morgan has pointed 
out that by properly shielding the pa- 
tient and adding simple improyements 
to the machine, it is possible to receive 
even better diagnostic information from 
X rays with 90 percent less radia 
posure. He has prepared a de 
of 65 specific тел 
none of them 
'€—to reduce ra 
nd medical X rays. The 
usc of "slow" versus "fast" film is just 
mple; if you take fast film—at 
one-half or onequartersecond expo- 
sures—as opposed to slow four-second 
exposures, which are widely used today, 
there's a tremendous reduction й 
dose of radiation the 
Such new high-speed X-ray film is av. 
ble, but most doctors and dentists re- 
fuse to buy it because it’s a fraction 
more expensive and they would have to 
spend a few dollars to modify their ma- 
chine for its use. Proper shielding is also 
vital; Dr. Hanson Blatz of the New York 
City Office of Radiation Control recently 
reported knowing of instances when de- 
y shielded X-ray machines sprayed 


ures that can be tak- 
nduly complex or 
liation overexpo- 


en- 
expen: 
sure in dental 


doses of radiation not only on the ра 
tient but on pcople working in other 
offices of the same building. The en- 
bout this si 

t it is so easy to solve: 
nd inexpensive safety appli 
long with better tr 
technicians, which is presently superficial 
nd desultory—would markedly alleviate 
the problem. And yet the medical and 
dental professions remain unresponsive 
ad refuse to concede publicly that a 
problem exist 
PLAYBOY: Why, in your opinion? 

NADER: They are afraid that their public 
professional image will be tarnished if 
they suddenly admit that for years they 
have lacked competence in radiation 
safety —áand they view a tightening of 
fety procedures as a tacit admission of 


this failure, In addition, there is a basic 
problem of changing established wa 


ys 
of doing business. The other aspect of 
this is, of course, economic. Stricter 
safety standards would require dentists 
and doctors to hire proficient X-ray 
ans, which would add to their 
ad if a machine has to be 
modified, it 1 cost moncy. Though 
less than a day's revenue will add a 
timer for film speed to a dental X-ray 
machine that would substantially reduce 
radiation overexposure, many dentists 
don't want to make even that minimal 
investment; but, of course, everyone 
knows that doctors and dentists, next to 
Negroes, American Indians and а few 
pockets of Appalachi 
most impoverished economic groups 
America. So in order to preserve the sta- 
tus quo, leaders of the medical and der 
tal professions have just pooh poohed the 
dangers of radiation and they have got- 
ten away with it, because there is seldom 
a direct, dramatic, clearly demonstrable 
link between overexposure to radiation 
and subsequ nd genetic dam- 
age. And theyll continue to pet away 
with it until the public demands change. 
PLAYBOY: You have charged that another 
common source of radiation overex- 
posure is the color-TV set. How much 
radiation do such sets emit, and how 
dangerous is it? 

NADER: Color-television sets require high- 
er voltage than black and white, and 
unless the high-voltage tubes are ade- 
quately shielded, there will be an em 
sion of X radiation. The radiation. can 
come, depending on the defects of the 
particular set, from its sides, from its 
front or from its bottom. Now, the r: 
ation is not sufficiently strong to 
harmful effect on an average adult sit- 
ig ten or fifteen feet from the set; but 
children have the habit not only of 
watching many hours of TV each day 
but of sitting within two or three feet of 
the set—which exposes their eyes, a par- 
rly sensitive area, to a dangerous 


level of radiation from unshielded sets. 
Exposure to such radiation may not 
have immediate deleterious effects on 
the child, but it can induce cataracts in 
later and many scientists also fear 
that a child who suffers sustained bodily 
exposure to X radiation may suffer severe 
physical and genetic damage. 
PLAYBOY: Were the manufacturer: are 
of the danger before you pointed it out? 
NADER: Oh, they were awa 
danger, all right. But correcting it with 
protective shielding might cost approxi- 
mately a dollar per set, and we all know 
television manufacturers, 
like the medical profe: e walking 
fiscal tightrope over perennial b: 
ruptcy. This whole problem of radiation 
in color-TV sets came to public notice 
only after GE was forced to admit, after 
prodding by a newspaper and the U.S. 
Public Health Service, that 92,000 sets 
already in the hands of their customers 
emitted excessive X radiation and that 
some of these sets were irradiating the 
public at levels up to 100 or 1000 times 
higher than the safety levels established. 
by the National Coi on Radiation 
Protection and Measurement. As a result. 
of the publicity, GE was forced to dis 
patch r en to modify the dangerous 
sets. 
PLAYBOY: As things stand today, would 
you own a color-television set? 


йо: 


NADER: Only if a radiation check were 
made on the set—a very simple test. 

PLAYBOY: Наз thc deral Government 
enforced safety standards in tl rea? 

NADER: Not directly, but legislation has 
just been passed by Congress that author- 
izes the setting of Federal standards for 
all electronic components emitting X 
radiation. I just hope the lobbyists for 
the electronics industry won't succeed, 
with their customary finesse, in side- 
tracking or markedly weakening the en- 
forcement of the law. This is becoming 
an increasingly important problem, be- 
cause we're moving into an age when 


more and more of our working and 
household | environment—home micro- 
wave ovens, for example—will involve 


machinery and appliances that emit 
radiation. Unless we take stringent ас 
tion now to reduce the hazards of X 
radiation from all sources—including nu 
dear power plants, which should be bu 
below ground and away from metropoli 
eas, unlike the current. pr 
ions of people will suffer serious so- 
nd genetic damage in the future. 
PLAYBOY: Recently, you concerned. your- 
self wi ety issue—flamma- 
ble fabrics. Is this a serious problem? 

NADER: Well over 12000 people lose 
their lives in fires in this country every 
year and, according to insurance data, a 
substantial number of them die because 


t 


h anothe: 


various fabrics and materials in their 
homes catch on fire and are so flamma- 
ble that the fire quickly spreads. The 
clothes we wear and our household 
environment—drapes, slip covers, bed- 


nd rugs, among other things— 
amable but 
iate the vic 
= he has even been burned by 
ion has become 
acute with the mass та 
syntheticfiber products in both clothing 
and decorator items. This problem is also 
serious in auto safety, because over a 
le ago, the industry decided to cut 
a few corners and began switching its 


upholstery and coverings from wool, 
which is highly fireresistant, 10 synthet- 
ic materials that not only are flammable 


and emit gases but also melt, creating a 
molten liquid that produces the most 
rible kinds of burns. The Flammable 
s Act is so grossly ineffective— 
there were so many exemptions, indud- 
ing ашо and airplane fabrics—and so 
uncnforced that Congress this year was 
finally compelled to pass amendment 
that should force the textile manu! 
turers to reduce the flammability of their 
fabrics. 

PLAYEOY: Is industry pressure the only 
reason the Federal Government has tend. 
ed to resist corrective legisla and 
enforcement in the areas of health 


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and safety we've been discussing? Or— 
as some commentators have observed— 
doesn't Big Government also tend to de- 
velop a kind of bureaucratic inertia that 
causes it to act only after a situation has 
is proportions? 
NADER: That's part of it, but its also a 
basic misallocation of resources. and 
energy. Let me give you a specific e 
ample; Considering the billions of dol- 
lars the Federal Government is spending 
to protect and enlarge our defense 
t nuclear attack, one might think 
would spend a few million dollars 
ad detect the 
rthquakes in thi: 
articularly to the sit 
+ which in recent months h: 
been alarming earthquake specialists to 
п unprecedented degree. The problem 
which 
resulted in the great California earth- 
quakes in 1857 and 1906. It stems from 
the San Andreas Fault, which shows 
dangerous signs of increasing instabilit 
It the release of strain, through a 
slippage in this fault, that led to the 
crumbling of much of San Francisco in 
the carthquake of 1906; and recent meas- 
urements have indicated that in some 
south of San Francisco, the terrain 
is being seriously warped a 
lier this year, Dr. Peter A. Frank- 
еп, a physics professor at the University 
of Michigan and formerly special-proj- 
ects director at the Pentagon and direc 
tor of the Pentagon's Advanced Research 
Projects Agency, cautioned that the 
str long the faul probably 
exceeds that prior to the 1906 carth- 
quake, and warned of a catastrophe that 
could severely damage both San Francis- 
co and Los Angeles. And he's only one 
of many scientists who are predicting 
that some time m the next 30 ycars 
there will be a really serious earthquake 
California that could lead to the 
crumbling of the Golden Gate and Oa 
land Bay bridges, the disintegration of 
freeways and untold loss of life and d 
age to housing and other buildings. Such 
an earthquake could be so disastrous that 
it would render trivial by comparison 
any of the disasters that have hit the 
North American continent in the past 
two centuries. 

As an indication of the kind of de- 
struction that a sudden shift would en- 
tail, there are huge housing projects 
right over the fault. If such a quake 
came without any warning, it could eas- 
ily take the lives of 1,000,000 people. If 
it came with adequate warning, it’s not 
likely that there could be any substan- 
tial saving of property, but the fatality 
count could be ly cut. Unt 
recently, the Government has 
been deaf to pleas by seismologists and 
other earthquake specialists that there 


ined level 


drasti 
Federal 


bc greater financial support of. research 
n this area, so that carthquakes could 
be predicted and adv 
10 prepare for an emergency, But 
present time, less than 53.000.000 
ing spent on this entire project—a rela- 
live pittance, when you consider the 
gravity of the problem and the work that 
has to be done. Here is an cxample of 


e warnings given 
r the 
be- 


the really irrational, if not insane, allo- 
cation of resources in this country. 
PLAYBOY: All of these problems, from 


cv cars то prevention of loss of life in 
thquakes, are incontestably of social 
nportance. 

national order of priorities, couldn 
be accused of misallocating your 
priorities? Most of your consumer causes 
dress themselves to economic injustices 
directed against the affluent white middle 
class that can afford automobiles, color- 
TV sets, and the like. Don't the problems 
of the black ghetto—which are at the 
root of the explosive racial situation in 
this country today—scem to you more 
urgent than earthquakes and auto safety? 
NADER: The problems I deal with 
mately affect most Negroes, as well as the 
est of the population. As a matter of 
n many areas with which the con 
movement is concerned, Negroes 


e 


But while vou attack our 


t you 
a 


population. As I said earlier, the worst 
meat always finds its way into the 
ghettos; and Negroes аге systematically 
ged for a wide range of prod 
es. A poor ghetto dweller 
ford the exorbitant markup on a 


сап 
box of detergent or tooth paste or on 
container of milk far less than а white 
suburbanite; they're both being cheated, 
but the Negro feels it more, because he 
has les to spend and thus more to lose. 
The consumer movement in which I'm 
involved deals not only with the safety 
of the product, which affects rich and 
e, but with overcharging and 
lity merchandising, both of which 
involuntarily reduce a man's income and 
both of which are particularly flagrant 
and acute problems in the 
ghettos. The consumer protection 
ment also deals with the contamin 
of our environment—air and water pol 
lution, soil contamination, chemical and 
radiation hazards, etc—which obviously 
aflects Negroes as much as whites. All 
these points—product safety, reasonable 

i ality merchandising and er 
tal purity—are related as much 
to the quality of life in the ghetto as to 
the quality of life in Scarsdale or Grosse 
Pointe, 


nation's 


nove: 


ion. 


But the problems to which I've be 


addressing myself are related to the wel 
lare of the ghetto on a much deeper 
level. This is а corporate society, and the 
thrust of the consumer-protection move- 


ment is toward structural corporate re- 


form. It is such reform that must be 
undertaken if we are going to solve 
the basic problem of allocating our re- 


sources—which will determine how much 
money and effort we give to the grossly 
unde leged sectors of the econo- 
my, such as the urban slums; without 
this relorm, the Negros lot will never 
improve. As it stands today, 200 of the 
largest corporations in the land own ap- 
ately two thirds of the manufac- 
aser; they arc the ones who 
control our allocation of economic re- 
sources. To the degree that poverty is 
allowed to continue unchecked in this 
country: to the degree that huge pockets 
of unemployment remain; to the degree 
that regions like Appalachia are kept 
poor be the coal interests have 
i ged other diversified industries 
from entering and improving the re- 
gion's economy because they want to 
maintain their iron grip on the labor 
pool; to the degree that corporate power 
influences Federal, state and local gov- 
ernments to stand pat with the status 
quo and avoid necessary public invest- 
ment in the ghettos; to the degree to 
whi ial lobbyi: үс cultivated 
regulatory and enforcement offi 
enticed, bribed or ed them into 
not enforcing Gove 
codes—to this degree is cor- 
т directly responsible for the 
con g plight of the poor. Мо; 
any other single factor, corporate reform 
could contribute to the alleviation of 


5 


ls and 


ws, such as 


the consumer movement, in 
both its immediate and its long-range 
impacts, is intimately related to the 
problems ol the poor and to the prob. 
lem of the urban ghettos. I have not ad- 
dressed myself to specific arcas of the 
civil rights struggle, because there 
many people working in this ar 
ready, and with considerable ро 
muscle. My prime abilities are as a 
lawyer and as an investigative reporter, 
discovering new facis in areas in which 
no action is being taken and in generat- 
ing momentum for policy changes. In the 
area of civil rights, at least, no one denies 
the basic facts about poverty and exploi 
tation; but that’s cert 
n auto safety, overexposure to X radia- 
tion, health conditions in the meat and 
fish industries, worker safety conditions 
in the coal and uranium mines, and a 
host of other crises with which I'm con- 
cerned. The basic problem in civil rights 
is to create the volition and momentum 
to make life livable for the black popu- 
lation. The people in the slums arc as 
piring to a society that I would like to 
make worthy of their aspirations, 


are 


PLAYBOY: "Ihe problem of the American 
Indian is in many ways analogous to 
that of the Negro. You were concerned 
h the Indian's plight as early as your 
days at Princeton. Are you still? 

NADER: Yes. The plight of the Indian has 
become even more desperate than when 
I first became concerned about it, and 
public apathy and bureaucratic indiffer- 
ence and mismanagement are directly 
responsible for it, The American Indian 
is the most economically and culturally 
deprived minority group in the United 
States: The Indian has a life expectancy 
of 45, a tuberculosis incidence seven 
times the nationwide average, an annual 
family income one fourth that of the 
white majority—or about $1500—and 
a shockingly high infantmortality rate. 
The Indian population receives dismal 
health care, lives in substandard housing, 
has a 40-percent unemployment rate and 
а 30-percent illiteracy rate. The average 
Indian receives only five years of school- 
ing, and the high school dropout rate 
among Indian children is over 50 per- 
cent—and for good reason. Recent Sen- 
ate hearings have shown that reservation. 
schools are severely inadequate and nur- 


ture despair and psychologically corrosive 
feelings of cultural inferiority and aliena- 
tion; it’s no coincidence that Indians 
under 17 have the highest suicide rate of 
any group in America. 

The children who attend these insti- 
tutions are never taught anything about 
their own culture and heritage; when- 
ever Indians are discussed at all in 
classrooms, it's in terms of the stock 
Hollywood stereotype. And most Ameri- 
cans are unaware of the deep and bitter 
antiIndian prejudice among № 
areas surrounding the reservations; In- 
dians are despised as subhumans, denied 
jobs and thwarted at every conceivable 
step when they try to earn a decent liv- 
ing. As a result, 200,000 Indians have 
left the reservations and migrated to the 
urban slums—where, with inadequate 
education and no job training, and their 
cultural roots torn up, they are even 
worse off than before. All this is a graphic 
and depressing commentary on our un- 
willingness to deal humanely with the 
first Americ: 
PLAYBOY: Is the Bureau of Indian Affi 
doing anything about this situation? 
NADER: Yes. Perpetuating it. The Bure 


Way 


“Say, I wouldn't mind doing a little tampering 
with that jury myself... .” 


219 


PLAYBOY 


220 


“You gladden my heart, Tom. Too many sons behave 
indifferently toward their dads.” 


which has 15,000 employees, is one of 
the most moribund, unimaginative and 
ineffectual bureaucracies ever created 
by the Federal Government. The Indi- 
ans lot would improve vastly if the 
Bureau's annual appropriation of some 
$280,000,000 were paid directly to Indian 
headsof-family, instead of undergoing 
ts customary bureaucratic attrition. For 
public consumption, its mission is to im- 
prove conditions for the Indians; in 
reality, its task for 119 years has been to 
help private interests encroach on Indian 
territory and exploit their natural re- 
sources. As a result, since the Bureau's 
establishment, the total Indian land arca 
hed from 150,000,000 acres to 
53,000,000 he basic problem here 
is that the Bur t of the Depart- 
ment of the Interior, which has always 
viewed its primary mission 

m of the big mining, 
terests 
The President 


has dimin; 


тез. 


u is 


s Task Force on Ameri- 


ns issued a fine report in 1966 
Indian situation. but all its basic 
recommendations, including a call to 
transfer responsibility for Indian affairs 
from the Secre of the Interior to 
the Secretary of Health, Education and 
Welfare, were rejected by the White 
House, which still keeps secret the Task 
Fore's 104-page report. I have been 
able to sce the report, however, and it 
reflects the disgust with which many 
members viewed the Bureau of Indian 
Affairs’ treatment of its “wards.” The re- 
port revealed that everywhere they went, 
ns believed. with justification, that 
y BIA employees were simply 
timeservers of mediocre or poor compe- 
tence who remained indefinitely because 
they were willing to serve in unattrac- 
posts at low rates of pay for long 
periods of that many had uncon- 
sciously ian attitudes and are 
convinced that Indians are really hope- 
lessly incompetent; and their behavior 
reflects this assumption.” The overwhelm- 


ing majority of reservation Indians— 
nd Гуе traveled to many reservations 
since 1 wrote my first article on this sub- 
ject, "People Without a Future,” in 
1956—view the BIA with despair and 
contempt. At the same time, they feel it 
is a buffer against further encroachments 


on their tribal land base. Even so, only 
a few Indians on the reservations asso- 
ciate with the Bureau, cager for the 


material benefits deriving from it; mili 
Indians call them “Uncle 


t could the Government do 
to help the Indian? 

The awful thing about this sit 
t, like so many of the other 
Кей about, it could be so 
only 400,000 
s on the reservations and 200,000 
ny of them in Los 


wrongs I've 
easily improved. There 


India 
in the cities—ma 


Angeles, Denver and M 


opening up of only 45,000 new reserva- 
tion jobs could put the Indians on the 
road to economic self-sufficiency 

cial health. The Government could pro. 
vide some of these jobs, and othe: 
could be created by an imaginative 
program spearheaded by the Government 
and the private sector. The cost for one 
year would probably be no more than 
we spend in Vietnam in one week—and 
yet nothing is done. The Indian coi 
nues to live im squalor, his children 
continue to be robbed of their self-respect 

w 


ind. so- 


by smugly ignorant white teachers, and 
this shame of Amer nd it 
is our shame; we have left them to rot 
in camps of human degradation while 
our gross national product swells to 
astronomical heights year after year. 
Before it’s too late, we must have a 
ion of intelligently directed 
mprove education, health and 
housing on the reservations and, above 
all, to create jobs. The solution is not to 
get rid of the reserv: 
"absorb" the Indi: 


га continues. 


ind. 
life. 


ion system 


n into Americal 


because that would destroy his culture, 
which is 
tute 


nd based, and would consti- 
the ultimate annihilation of the 
an, even if his assimilated descend 
ved. It would be the final 
Another question here i 


oped areas of the world, much less 
comprehend their cultures, when we can- 
not even treat decently the first inhab- 
itants of our own land? The Indian, li 
the Negro, is a mirror for American 
society, and his despair is our guilt. 
PLAYBOY: You are working to generate 
Congressional action on behalf of the 
Indian. Isn't this a departure from your 
traditional consumer causes? 

NADER: No, because consumers are people, 
and helping people in any area of so- 
diety is the whole point of the consumer 


movement, Im working on the Indian 
question because, unlike civil rights or 
peace, it is an issue that has been neg- 
lected by reformers, and there has been 
little or no political muscle brought to 
bear in Washington on behalf of the 
Indian. I hope that situation will change 
within the next year. 

PLAYBOY: Because of your dc: ion to 
the exposure and correction of such soci 
problems, your press image has been that 
humorle: tic, a tireless crusader 
with liule or no е for other human 
beings. Do you think that describes you? 
NADER: No—but I do feel intensely 
about social issues and I tend to place 
the human needs of our society above 
my own particular needs and ambitions; 
lor some reason, that seems to Бае 
people. I'm afraid the public tends to 
have a greater tolerance for someone 
who utters ringing phrases but doesn’t 
follow through, someone who professes 
idealism but practices expediency. Per- 
haps, in a life where little compromises 
are the rule, it’s easier to understand 
such a peson and identify with him. 
But when somebody persistently pur 
sues a course of reform, an image of him 
crusader evolves. Is it so un- 
usual, so implausible, so distasteful, that 
a man would believe deeply enough in 
the worth-whileness of. work to dedi- 
cate his life to it? If it is, I think that's 
more of a commentary on the alienation 
ol our society than it is on the zeal of 
Ralph Nader. 

PLAYBOY: A great deal has been made in 
the press about your alleged asceticism. 
Are you as oblivious to creature comlorts 
as such. reports indicate? 

NADER: lt seems to amaze my critics— 
even to disappoint them—that I doi 
live in a palatial penthouse, wear $500 
custom suits or dine sumptuously in chic 
restaurants. 1 just prefer to utilize my 
resources, which aren't exactly endless, 
in such a manner as to maximize the 
clícctiveness of my work. For example, 
if I have a choice of eating an eight- 
dollar dinner or making a seven-dollar 
phone call to get ie information, Ull 
eat a one-dollar dinner and use the re- 
maining money to make the cxorbitandy 
priced. phone call. But I certainly don't 
believe I live an ascetic lile; at least, it 
certainly wouldn't be judged ascetic by 
97 percent of the world’s population, 
PLAYBOY: If you receive а substa 
amount in damages from your 
of-privacy suit against GM, will it change 
your mode of life? 

NADER: No, because anything I receive 
from General Motors I plan to put right 
back into the cause of consumer safety. 
PLAYBOY: How are your current eflorts 
financed? 

NADER: I'm self-financed; my sole in- 
come is from my book, my lectures and 
my magazine artides, and everything 1 


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221 


PLAYBOY 


222 humanizing corporate mach 


carn goes to support the consumer issues 
I'm espousing. 

PLAYBOY: Have there ever been mo- 
ments when you became discouraged by 
lack of progress and thought of retiring 
to a placid private law practice? 
NADER: Not even remotely. Of course, 
there are many times when you [ail to 
achieve anywhere near what you want 
to; but you've just got to adopt the atti 
tude that the tougher the going, the 
more you have to persevere. Once you 
come to look at things in that light, tem- 
porary defeats become nourishment for 
additional effort. The only real defeat is 
giving up, just as the only real aging is 
the crosion of one's ideals. 

PLAYEOY: You have a rough working 
schedule. When do you relax? 

NADER: Well, relaxing is a subjective 
term; to some people, it means lying on 
the beach, or getting drunk, or frugging 
in a discothèque, or sleeping 12 hours а 
day. But I don't create an artificial dis- 
tinction between work and leisure. 1 find 
my work so imperative, so stimulating, 
so demanding of those qualities within 
me that I value, that it’s really, in the 
deepest sense, fun. A love of labor pro- 
ceeds from a labor of love. I don't have 
any concept of vacation, of dividing my 
fe between tiresome periods of work 
and pleasant periods of relaxation. To 
me, writing, researching, unearthing in- 


formation and articulating and advocat- 
ing important issues constitutes a kind 
of laborious leisure. Perhaps it's this at 


tude toward my work that causes so 
many people to consider me a priggish 
puritan. I really feel sorry for sud 
people, because they must loathe their 
own work—and perhaps also thems 

for not having the guts or the motiv 
to find something more meaningful to do 
with their li: I just couldn't live that 
way. I would rather work 20 hours a 
day on something that absorbs me than 
three hours a day in а job that gives me 
No satisfaction. 

I think one of the things at fault here 
is the acculturation progress that brings 
young people into adulthood down rigid 
pathways over which they have no say 
and which propels them into carcer 
patterns almost automatically, without 
allowing them to ever really challenge 
the parental restrictions and socie 
sumptions that force them into jobs they 
have no feeling for. I think it’s tragic to 
see so many bright young people sign- 
ing away their lives by pursuing prede- 
termined career patterns without ever 
examining what kinds of lives they real- 
ly want to lead. Nobody can be creative 
and responsible and interested in what 
he's doing under these circumstances, 
and I think the way youngsters blindly 
Jet themselves be absorbed 


major reason for the malaise in our socie- 
ty. If you hate your work, you're bound 
to lead a life of quiet desperation. 
PLAYBOY: The New York Times has de- 
scribed you as existing “in a state of 
constant, barely controlled outrage." Is 
this accurate? 

NADER: It's an accurate partial descrip- 
tion. I do feel deeply about social issues 
and I am outraged when other human 
beings lose their lives or are permanent- 
ly maimed by the negligence of the 
auto, tobacco and drug industries: and 1 
find it repugnant that our food and our 
natural environment are poisoned by 
sewage, pesticides, chemical and radio- 
active pollutants, with the terminal ef 
fects being explained away by medical 
diagnoses such as cancer, heart dis 
ease and respiratory ailments; and I'm 
shocked at the institutionalized cruelty 
to which the American Negro and the 
Ameri e subjected; and I'm 
repelled by the conditions in which 
miners are forced to work. I don't pre- 
tend to be detached about these and 
other problems, but I do try to be ra- 
tional and objective in attempting to 
ameliorate them. Too many reformers 
become grim and humorless and allow 
the abuses they deal with daily to sour 
their outlook on the world and alienate 
them. 1 doi 
PLAYBOY: Many professional reformers 
are motivated at least partially by р 
sonal political ambition. Are you? 
NADER: No, I'm not. I've been 
proached to run for Congress from my 
native Connecticut, but I've declined. 
"There is, of course, a great deal a legis- 
lator can do for the cause of consumer 
safety, but I believe 1 can be most eflec- 
tive in the private sector, articulating 
the issues and helping create the kind of 
consumer constituency that will attract 
more good men to Government and 
keep Congress at the forefront of public 
needs, 

PLAYBOY: Do you resent being compared, 
as you have been, with the muckrakers 
of the саму 20th Century? 

NADER: No. In fact, 1 consider it a com- 
pliment. Many of the leading muck: 
Upton Sinclair, Ida Tarbell 
Stellens, were very effective 


n Indian a 


ap- 


stimuli for reform, and in a 
sense, I'm in their tradition. 
But I try to go further than they did. 


The muckraking tradition entailed in- 
vest specific a 
digging up the facts that h; 
pressed or ignored and the 
them to the 
mand remedial act I feel my re- 
sponsibilities go beyond this, because 
exposure is only the first step; next comes 
the hard job of persuading Congress to 
take remedial action, and then pursuing 
the problem from the legislative process 


presenting. 
public, which would de- 


to the administrative and enforcement 
stages and to the specific application of 
public policy at the grass-roots level. It's 
not enough just to unmask a nasty situ: 
tion and then sit back and wait for 
change. H. L. Mencken once described 
a reformer man who sails through 
a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat. What 
he те that too many commenta- 
tors sit smugly i 
joying the leisure of the theoried class. 
PLAYBOY: How do you feel about the 
“consumer crusader" label that's been 
applied to you? 

NADER: I don't mind it, long as it 
doesn’t interfere with my work; and it 
does have a certain rhythmic ring to 
it. But 1 dislike the tendency to encapsu- 
late a man by labcls—philosophical, po- 
itical, religious or otherwise. If pressed, 
however, I suppose 1 would call myself 
a humanist. І believe the emphasis of 
society must be on man, on man’s needs 
nd potentialities, on the means by 
which he can fulfill his individual role 
while remaining responsive to the re- 
quirements of а complex, interacting so- 
ciety. While we all pay lip service to 
this, of course, the tendency is to subor- 
dinate the individual to abstractions— 
the state, the ideology, the religion, the 
corporation—that render him expend- 
able or redundant, My mot g factor 
is respect for the individual—from the 
motorist whose life is sacrificed through 
corporate neglect to the sharecropper 
ground down by our oppressive heritage 
of racism and a plantation economy. 
PLAYBOY: Are you a Democrat or a Re- 
publican? 

NADER: Neither. I shun political ideolo- 
gies of all sorts, because they always 
reflect a rigidity, an inability to judge 
each issue on its own merits, irrespective 
of prior conditioning. The inherent a 
thoritarianism deriving from this infle 
bility inhibits our freedom of choice and 
blinkers our creative imagination. Be- 
sides, no extant ideology even comes 
close to fulfilling the needs and aspi 
tions of man today. So I approach a par- 
ticular issue from the perspective of my 
own ethical principles, but with open- 
ness and flexibility. 

My critics call me а radical, but I 
think the real radical the United 
States today is the corporation manager 
who. for all his facile prattle about free 
enterprise, has really helped create an 
creasingly controlled economy domi- 
nated by a few dozen giant corpora- 
tions. And yet the average citizen would 
tend to classify big-business executives 
as belonging, with a few isolated excep- 
tions, on the conservative right. What 
they fail to realize is that the concent 
and its 


nt у 


s, en- 


arbit 


tion of power ary use 
can occur їп corporate structures as 
well as Government agencies. This 


PUTER TIRO 


224 


pr 
alfects the ex of the land in pro- 
found way 

When it comes to American lives, to 
give one example, the war in Vietnam 
has not even closely approximated the 
carnage that occurs on our highways: 
28,000 American Servicemen have been 
killed in Vietnam since 1961; this is 
roughly the total that die on our high- 
ways in an average 27-weck period. I'm 
not saying this to mi nize in any way 
the terrible human suffering the war has 
caused, but to emphasize another kind 
of violence that is generally ignored by 


the public. As I've said, my mission has 
y efforts 


1 those 


being 


always been to apply 
areas where virtually nothing 
done at the public policy level. 

PLAYBOY: How do vou select these areas? 
NADER: I've developed three criteria to 
determine my selection of an issue; I ask 
myself first how important it is; second, 
what kind of contribusicn I can ma 
and third, how many people are already 
working in the area. It’s this last point 
that has kept me from throwing myself. 
into the antiwar struggle, because we 
have con rom students 
nd professo | leaders like 
Senators Fulbright and McCarthy—striv- 
ing to terminate this war. But when 
look around at such issues as auto safe- 
ty, the safety of our foods, the safety of 
our man-made environment from air 
and water pollution and soil contamina- 
tion, then I find very few people work- 
ing skillfully outside Government with 
the requisite independence to protect 
the consumers’ interests. So I have to 
make a choice of where 1 can mobilize 
my limited individual resources to the 
maximum on behalf of the public inter- 
est. And that means that I can only han- 
dle four, or, at the very most. five major 
issues at one time without dissipating: 
ay h: 


whatever effectiveness 1 m 
PLAYBOY: You've been extre 
of nearly every aspect of Am 
ety, from bu: 


icly critical 


сап soci- 


ess and Government. to 
the medical, dental and legal profes- 
sions. Are vou completely pessimistic 
about the prospects for this сошиту—ог 
do vou find. grounds. for optimism? 

NADER: Jm definitely not a. pessimist, or 
Iwouldn't be working in the areas I am. 
І wouldn't call myself ап optimist, ei- 
ther, but I am hopeful about this coun- 
try and 1 am encouraged that we will 
return someday to a positive and pro- 
ductive path. both socially and polit 
cally. There are still vast reservoirs of 
lism and commitment in this society 
icularly among our youth; and de- 
spite the terrible crises afflicting us—the 
unrest deriving from our exploita- 
n of the Negro, the uncons 
poverty, the dehumanizing trends w 
in big business and Big Gover 


that transfor n into automata 
still believe there is a genuine potent 
for constructive and redeeming change. 

Even after all the inequities I've seen 
in Washington, I know there are many 
public officials genuinely dedicated to 
the public service, and a growing num- 
ber of / re demanding basic 
reforms society. It would be а 
mistake to underestimate the intelli 
gence—or overestimate the patience—ol 
the American electorate; the people will 
stand just so much belore they take re 
at the polls and throw 
ations. So there 
many domestic areas that offer opt 
Tor progress and fundamental change. 
I'm less optimistic about our foreign 
policy, which shows little indication of 
being open and candid with the Ameri 
can people and every indication of con- 
tinuing to pursue an aggressive and 
alistic path in Latin America, South 
and other areas of the world. 
faith that the Americ 
people will ultimately find the will to 
overcome the grave ills in our society. 
most nations, we already have 


n mi 


the means. 

PLAYBOY: Would you elaborate on your 
much-publicized statement that your 
objective is “nothing less than the quali- 
tative reform of the Industrial Revolu- 
tion"? 

NADER: Well, it boils down to a single 
basic problem: We have failed to adapt 
our technological to our hu 
eeds, ized Wew- 
gan age of 
consider: in terms of the 
total aggregate of goods and services 
produced: our task now is not just 10 
increase the pile but to ensure а more 
equitable distribution of the goods we 
produce and to organize the allocation 
of our resources in such а way that they 
contribute 10 reducing and preventing 
the n-made en nmental ards 
that thre: th. Most of the 
progress chnology since 
World War Two has been in arcas re- 
mote from the average citizen: space. 
defense systems, computers and auto 
mated machinery. IVs time to 
science and technology to the immed 
needs of the public in transportation, 
. schools. 


the 


ern world. we are еме 


e redundancy 


aten life on €: 
nce and 


pply 


to 
avoid most air and water pollution and 
атаве on the highways. to cure the 
blight infecting our cities, to produce 
wholesome food for all the people. to 
provide adequate health care for eve 
one, to give real security and continuin 
cipation to the aged and incapaci- 
ed, to end unemployment and open 
1 unparalleled era of prosperity and 
We can do all these th 


а sufficient a 


and imagination—but we aren’ 
of the b; sons is that the huge cor- 
portions spawned by the Industrial 
Revolution have concentrated too much 
of the nation’s wealth and power in a 
manner that insulates them from real 
involvement in and responsibility for 
many of the great issues of our times. 
While cities burn, the large corporations 
reap record profits. The pain of the slums 
must become the pain of corporate Amer 
ica if this widening sore is to be removed. 
Congress fiddle long in 
appropriating funds for necessary pro- 
grams if it were given a "go" signal by 
determined corporate leadership. 

But beyond this, I'm concerned that 
uncontrolled and undirected technologi- 
cal development has served to retard 
rather than advance genuine human 
progress. Just look at the various ac- 
tions preindustrial man derived from his 
primitive environment: peace 
and quiet. fresh air, dean water, unpol- 
lured food—all ol h are now becom- 
ing rare in our society, so much so that 


ic ге: 


aw 


would not 


thcir provision commands extremely high 
prices, V 


ire now witnessing the com- 
n of the basic things that 
preindustrial man took Гог granted, but 
which modem man has so desecrated 
that they are now becoming luxuries. 
Seemingly human wants 
needs are on a collision course with the 
carth's finite al resources— particu- 
nd soil. The burgeoning 
ide the hi n bio- 
sphere result from. the contempt indus- 
tial man has shown toward nature. 
Unfortunately, this cumulative contempt 
is beginning to boomerang onto the 
people of this planet. Nature abused too 
much soon turns on its abusers. 

hat's why E plan to continue to pub- 
d 


itu 


larly er 


man ssaults on 


licize the facis about the problems 
s tha fect ev American int 
mately but over which he has too little 
decision-making power, in the hope that 
popular pressures and vigorous consum- 
er representation will transform industry 
and Government into expressions, rather 
than adversaries, of the public interest. 
Broad public participation in the deci- 
making process. both political and 
indispensable to a truly via 
ble democracy. But the fight doesn't end 
once the public is aware of the facts and 
involved in the issues; we must also 
forge new techniques and institutions to 
ensure that the publi ved 
as well as recognized. 

PLAYBOY: Adding up a box score of the 
causes you've championed and the battles 
you've won, lost or drawn, do you feel 
that your efforts have been successful? 
NADER: It's too carly to make such a tally. 
The struggle for consumer democracy 


just beginning. 


sion 


economie, is 


Bolder taste Ballantine Ale does more for you 


than any beer could. 
ll It's brewed with a little more courage 
rea y means for a taste you can feel. 
m" Astronger, bolder taste 
business { that really means business. 
a Let Ballantine 


make an ale man out of you. 


Ballantine Ále xxx has a taste you can feel. 


P. BALLANTINE & SO! IEW JERSEY. 


PLAYBOY 


226 


Mexico! (continued pon page 152) 


get it donc at the end of the trip. Noth- 

ing loses its appeal more rapidly than a 
ir that is lugged across country. 

especially when traveling by air. 

The only other piece of advice 1 
would offer is to plan your trip with 
twice as much care as usual. confirming 
all reservations, especially airline and 
hotel, and, when possible, keeping writ- 
ten copies. These might be useful at the 
ost effective court of ap- 
Mexico—the local office of the 
Mexican Tourist Department. 

Acapulco is where 1 would suggest 
beginning a Mexican trip, especially if 
arriving from a northern autumn. You 
could spend a few days 
fore tackling the capi 
town offers very little of souvenir value 
(the chief local products are overpriced 
straw baskets and a species of stuffed, 
emaciated rat), travel on unencumbered. 

Pick up a jeep at the airport as soon 
as you arrive; the gas gauge and hand 
brake probably won't work, but it's the 
best v ted transportation you'll find. 
You can rent a car. but be warned that 
some of the major rental companies in 
Mexico do not insure hubcaps and other 
remoyable fixtures; and since these seem 
to be regarded with extraordinary covet- 
ousness by a certain element in the pop- 
ulation, you may find yourself stuck 
with the bill when they va as they 
frequently do. You'll notice a large num- 
ber of hubcap shops in Mexican citi 

The drive from the airport to the cen- 
tral hotel section. takes no more than 
half an hour—tess, if you're booked into 


sh 


MARRIAGE 
«омада 


the Pierre Marqués, which is outside the 
town. It is unquestionably one of Аса- 
pulco's finest hotels, although it tends to 
attract a slightly older clientele than its 
leading rivals. My favorite is the Balsa- 
operated El Pi lente, which stands on 
one of the best swimming beaches in 
the bay and is only a five-minute drive 
from downtown. It also has а pool and, 
should you not want to stay in the m 
wing of the horel, lan. es that a 
just a few steps up from the beach. 

There are more exclusive hotels than 
El Presidente, such as the Acapulco 
Towers and the Villa Vera Racquet 
Club, and there are more dramatic on 
such as Las Brisas, which consists of 
cottages with private pools set in a stcep- 
ly terraced hillside; but they're rather 
removed from the beaches; and in Aca- 
pulco, that’s where it all goes on. Shell 
divers paddle along the coast on home- 
made surfboards loaded with conch and. 
abalone shells that they sell at bargain 
rates on the public beaches, announcing 
their a with a foghorn blast on 
a conch. vendors sell golden 
shrimps. pla 1 covered. with 
hot sauce, tacos filled with spicy meats, 
fresh coconut milk and mangoes. 

A Mexican guide told me (almost with 
ght face) that most of Acapulco's 
о stands are secretly owned by the 
Red Cros, for the express purpose of 
drumming up hosp business. E 
point was that if you'd like to avoid 
being kid up with what is popularly 
known as the Алес Two-Step, or Monte- 
zuma's Revenge, be careful. But no such 


su 


“We were computer matched, but we found out that both 
of us lied when making out our 1BM cards." 


caution need be exercised at Acapulco's 
many foreign restaurants. On most 
nights, Dino's prepares the best Ita 
food in Mexico: that's not saying a lot 
by gourmet standards, but it's more 
than merely palatable. The same applies 
to the Chesa Veglia, an elegant. two- 
tiered room that specializes in Swiss 

пе. And for decent, if unspectacu 
lar, French. food, try either Chez Gui 


h in Acapulco is 
between El Presidente and the 
Hilton, where you can rent a small 
open-sided thatched hut for about a 
dollar a day; the swimming isn't recom- 
mended, but most of the people on Con 
desa don't go there to get wet. This i 
the afternoon beach and it’s close 
couple of sidewalk с 
dise, which is à popular rendezvous wi 
the bikini set for afternoon dancing. 

At most of the larger beaches, you 
сап rent a powerboat and crew to take 
you beyond the town limits, up or down 
the coast, where you'll find deserted 
coves of white sand that are ideal for 
private swimming parties and picnics. 
Tourist facilities are nil, so take your 
food and drink. 

By contrast with the public beaches, 
Puerto Marquez, La Roqueta and Pie 
de la Cuesta are havens of rest. Puer- 
to Marquez is a beautifully protected 
beach in a small bay of dear, calm wi 
ter, ideal for swimming and boating; La 
Roqueta is on an island at the entrance 
to Acapulco Bay and is accessible only 
by boat; and Pie de la Cuesta is north- 
west of town, а long sand. bar with th 
Pacific on one side and a palm-fringed 
lagoon on the other. 11 offers one of the 
best vantage points for watching, those 

ivid Acapulco sunsets, and the facilities 
for tourists а 
charm; but doi 
idyllic scenery—the undertow in 
surf often treacherous. 

I know of few beach resorts 
so Many water sports can be enjoyed i 
such flawless surroundings. The water 
filled fist There is 
ig. deepsea fishing and 


Conde 


own 


c just primitive enough to 
be 100 beguiled by the 
the 


with 


and 


tropical lagoons whose only occupants 
are the sleek fish and bright water birds. 
"There's even a time that combine 
water and acrodynamies—y iling— 
in which the rider is strapped into a 
nd hoisted off thc 
powerboat that speeds 
round the bay, lifting parachute and 
passenger almost 200 feet in the air. 

If you plan to follow my Mexican 
itinerary, three days are the most you'll 
need for Acapulco, although I have 
friends who would find it no hardship to 
stay a couple of months. If you wanted 
to exhaust the town's. possibilities after 
rk, you could stay indefinitely, for it's 


parachute h: 
beach by 


ess 


at night that Acapulco works hardest. 
Every large hotel has entertainment, ci 
ther cabaret ог dancing and sometimes 
both, with an occasional act imported 
from the U.S. The best discothèques 
are Aku-Tiki—a Polynesian restaurant- 
ight club on the beach that features 
the most sensational light show I've ever 
seen; and Tiber which is currently 
the younger sers most popular haunt. 
Armando's Le Club is a society hangout; 
it has no live music and the atmosphere 
is unexciting. but in season, the jet set 
regards it as a temple of worship. 

After discothéques and hotel shows, 
the principal nighttime diversion is Aca- 
pulco’s numerous brothels, where one 
need feel no compulsion to participate 
and where, indeed, many visitors seem 
to go out of curiosity. Some men even 
take their wives or gi nds. While the 
Tourist Department does not go out of its 
way to recommend that visitors frequent 
brothels, it is in no way embarr. 


an law, incidentally, doesn't permi 
foreigners to own brothels or saloons, or 
to engage in politics.) The establ 
range in style from the Quinta Rebeca, 
which issues business cards ("You will 
find here the best-looking girls"), to El 
69, which doesn't. Quinta Rebeca is up 
in the hills above the city. It is a large 


building that looks like a country hotel 
and is reputedly much favored by the 
clientele of Le Club and visiting celeb- 
rities from Hollywood. It's run by a man 
with the compelling name of Jesus the 
Flame and, in addition to the more con- 
ventional aspects of commercialized sex, 
it offers special exhibitions for the jaded 
at $100 a show. This fall, Jesus is re- 
portedly introducing a special event in 
honor of the Olympic games and based 
on the design of the Olympic symbol 

I drove up to Rebeca's one evening 
shortly before midnight, accompanied 
by a reluctant hotel representative. He 
had been told that my interest was 
purely journalistic, which it was, but he 
seemed disgusted by it all and became 
сусп more morose when we arrived and 
found we were the only visitors in the 
place. Half a dozen girls sat at a small 
bar on a patio above an open-air dance 
floor, staring Jistlessly into space while a 
mariachi group played the Mexican ver- 
sion of Happy Birthday for а girl who 
sat in a corner, weeping happily into a 
handkerchief, 

As soon as we appeared, two of the 
girls ran over and pushed us into a cor- 
ner, barraging us with questions, prices 
and explicit details of special services. 
The only one who spoke English was a 
darkly attractive girl named Maria, who 
aid she was born in Israel and had 
been working at Rebeca’s for four years, 


with a short absence about a year ear- 
licr, when she marricd a customer and 
moved to Califor 

“Rig fucking rocky roll drummer,” she 
We live in fucking Sacramen- 
1 he always hitting me. So 1 fuck- 
ing hit him back and kick fuckin 
drums when he go out and then I get 
out fud е and come k to 
Rebecca's. leaned forward and 
plucked speculatively at а button on my 
shirt. "You want to come in the show- 
room and watch a Lesbian gig? No? 
Two guys and three chicks? One guy 
and two chicks? Two black faggots and 
a chick? Maybe a regular fuck? You 
want me to beat your ass with a whip? 
Tie you up with rope? Why you keep 
writing all the fucking time?" 

My hotel friend was getting progres- 
sively more uncomfortable and. was beg- 
ging me with mournful суса to finish my 
notes. His compai 
worked her bare foot 
was tickling his armpit with her big toc: 
so after politely declining the girls’ offers, 
We got up and took a tour of the main 
showroom, It contained a circular bed lit 
by blue and red lights and surrounded 
by a double row of chairs for the au- 
dience. A smaller room led off. 

“That's where guys wait,” Maria ex- 
plained. “Girls get on the bed first and 
make love and then guys jump through 


IMPORTED RARE SCOTCH 


100% BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY EIGHTY PROOF IMPORTEO BY INVER HOUSE OISTILLERS, LTD., PHILA. 


227 


PLAYBOY 


228 


the door onto girls. Lots of fucking but 
very clean," 

The shabbier establishments are in La 
Zona, a district full of bright lights and 
dust, benevolently supervised by police 
dressed in white, who spend much of 

time slouching on chairs tilted 
ngerously against the  policeshack. 
wall, reading comic books and hissing at 
the girls The blare of trumpets can be 
heard throu у of swinging 
doors and now and then there is a 
momentary lull, followed by a heavy 
thump and the sound of broken glas. 
A figure topples out onto the sidewal 
picks itself up. screams defiance at the 
doors and then staggers into the cantina 
across the street. 
La Huerta is the biggest whor 
n La Zona and consists of a dance floor. 
gallery of feelthy pictur 
parking lot surrounded by cabins. It looks 
ike a motel, except that every woman in 
ght—and there are a hundred or so— 
is half-naked. Whether you go out of 
curiosity or lust, do not go alone. 

Acapulco is not renowned for its his 
Toric Sures. 
the Spanish used it as a base to bı 
exploration ship the 16th Century, 

nd Sir Francis Drake conducted a few 
piratical forays into the bay when the 
town s 
route from the Orien 
modern resort started 


house 


ved as a terminus for the trade 


Its career as a 
n the late Twen- 
ties, after the government laid a паток 
paved road to the town from the capital. 
lt didn't become an international resort 
until the mid-Filties, when the toll road 
to Mexico City opened. 

You can fly from Acapulco to the cap- 
ital (jet service takes 45 minutes). but if 
you have the time. go by саг. The roud 
has an excellent surface and the views 
are magnificent, although in the rainy 
season, which lasts from spring to the 
end of summer, the highway is often 
washed out in the mountains just out 
side town. The route passes through а 
iety of landscapes. tropical and moun- 
inous near the coast, with deep valleys 

filled with palm and giant. fern—that 
gradually fhuten out ay you travel north. 
skirting wide viv sing into 
plains dotted with skeletal cactus. Along 
the entire route. you will sce the green 
tow trucks operated by the Mexican 
Tourist Department for the benefit of 
stranded motorists. There are two crew 
members to a truck and both of them usu- 
ly have а fluent command of English. 
The drive from Acapulco to Mexico 
City takes around six hours and can be 
broken at Iguala, wher 
house that serves simple but tasty Mexi- 
сап food. If you're passing through on a 
y to see the local market, 
which is notable for its gold jewelry and 
methysts. This is also the point at 


there's а road- 


which you can leave the main high- 
way for Taxco. It is the oldest. silver- 
mining town in the country, a national 


monument and a gem of colonial archi- 
tecture, with its narrow, picturesque 
streets set in the hillsides and its ornate 
church on the main plaza. Innumerable 
stores and stalls sell nothing but objects 
of silver; though many of the designs 
re ugly, as а result of misconceived no- 
tions of tourist taste, there is much that 
is simple and beautiful. Sunday is the 
local market day, and I would suggest 
ht at the delightful Po: 


rej 
Cuernavaca 
Cuemavact, about an hour's drive 
south of the capital. has been a week- 
end resort since the days of the Aztecs. 
Since it stands roughly in the center of 
region that is rapidly becoming one of 
the most booming inland resort areas in 
the country. ys crowded 
with visitors. who 
are drawn by such notable features as 
the Cortes PP h its Diego Rive 
murals, the nearby park and gardens 
and Guernavaca’s small but vivid mar- 
ket. Slick. summer homes for retired 
Ameri much of its old charm; 
but there are still quiet moments to be 
enjoyed here, especially in the streets of 
the old section. And Cuernavaca is an 
ideal jumping-off spot lor less crowded 
vets such as Teporthin, a lazy old 
village that holds an annual festival in 
honor of pulque, the potent national 
drink supplied by the versatile magucy 
cactus: Oaxtepec, where there are m 
eral springs: Cuautla, the country town 
outside of which Emiliano Zapata, the 
revolutionary leader. was assassinated; 
and Las Estacas, which has all the fla 
vor and atmosphere of a secluded jungle 
rencat without the presence ol snakes 
and other topical mei The most 
of the week for tourists is 


ty. 


Ces. 


popular d 


У 


wday: it is therefore the one day to 


void. The attraction Las Estacas is 
ity bubbling spring. which is the source 
of a «саг, cold river that follows a 
winding course over a rocky bed past 
steep banks of flowers and foliage. Yor 
couples park their cars on a grassy b: 
downstream a mile or so, strip down to 
s, walk to of the 
1 ler the current carry them back 
to their cars and picnic hampers. 
Just south of Oaxtepec is Cocoyoc, a 
ienda and sugar mill built 400 years 
ago and now a resort hotel of 150 rooms 
and suites, some with private pools. It is 
agnificent grounds, with golf and 
ilable, and guests 
ies for trotting. 

Each of the locations described above 
сап be reached within an hour's drive 
from Cuernavaca. If you visit any of 
them, don't try to return to the capital 
on a Sunday night: Youll be stuck in 
traffic for three hours. 

It takes a long time to reach the cen- 
ter of Mexico Ci 


the source 


set in 


n rent 


horses or sulki 


y. This is not surpri 


ing. since, with its population of n 
7,000,000, it ranks as one of the world's 
biggest cities and the second biggest 
the Western Hemisphere. To residents, 
it's known simply as Mexico: When they 
speak of the rest of the country, they 
refer to “the Republic" There's bee 
city on this site since the carly Hth 
Century; by the time the Spaniards ar- 
rived 200 years later, they found build- 
ngs of cement and stone, | 
pyramids and temples a 

als and wide boulevards—; 
of superior civilization on 


continent 
nhabited almost entirely by savages. 


confronted w 


h this magnificence and 
outraged by a religion that worshiped 

gods and practiced human sac 
rifce, the Spanish followed the same 
course that Liter colonialists were to fol- 
low when faced with a si 
They destroyed the empire 
every race of its existence. The popu 
tion divided into pro- and. anti-Spanish 
factions; and lor more than 200 ye: 
through intermittent. bouts of warfare 
ad rebellion, the city sank 
ad neglect. Throughout it 
Spanish hung on and were not fi 
driven out until three centu 
Even now, although both countries ex- 
change trade missions. it would be 
unwise Mexican president who appointed 
an ambasado Today, the city 
is probably Latin America’s liveliest me 
wopolis 


E 


e? culture 
New 
in my opinion as the only 
genuinely exciting city on the North 
American continent. 


If you haven't already made airline 
reservations to Mexico City for the 
Olympics, you can forget about it, be- 


Guse the last seat was sold or at least 
reserved carly last summer 
i 


Hotel space 


always heavily booked in the fall, the 
y. and 


most popular time to visit the 
this month they will be sleeping in the 
parks. Mexico is not a wealthy country 
and. quite sensibly, the gover 


ment did 
not think it reasonable to authorize con- 
struction of new hotels merely to absorb 
the abnormal crush of visitors who 
would be arriving during the two weeks 
of the Olympic games. There's even talk 
of accommoda 


some of the overflow 
Acapulco, but that, тоо, will be 
difficult. because October marks the be. 
ginning of the Acapulco season. If you 
can't find a room while (he games ате 
on, try to get something outside the city, 
even if it means going as far as Pucbla, 


Cuernavaca or Toluca; cach of these 
three towns is linked to the capital by 
little more than an hour's drive via ex- 


pressway. Should the hotels be filled even 
here. there are plenty of nearby smaller 
towns and villages that might still have 
space, The best plan would be to get 
road map hom the Mexican Tourist 
Deparment and pick your own spot. 
"Ehe choice of hotels in Mexico City is 


тате 


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enormous, but it can be simplified some- 
what by deciding whether one wants to 
live colonial style or in a skyscraper. My 
own favorite in the first category is the 
Cortes, a stately old caravansary with 
limited accommodation and superb serv- 
it's located across from Alameda 
just off the Paseo de la Reforma, 
the main thoroughfare. For more modern 


с tower of glass on 
. or El Presidente, which is in 
shopping district: Both a 
Balsa hotels and both are close to di 
offices of leading airlines and Ameri 
Express. Other recommendations can be 
found in the chart on page 130. which 
also lists restaurants. ent inment, 
shopping and sightseeing highlights 

Опсе settled your hotel in or 
around Mexico City, you will want to 
vestigate the local т ъа sub- 
ject 1 hesitate to introduce. Under 
“Where to Dine" on our chart. you'll 
tings of the better restaurantes 
шп bear in mind that “bette 
It is no insult— 
be something of an 
tutement—to asert that Mante 
cuisine is about as common as snow ii 
sunny Mexico: once fact, 


an food 
se or some other 
re fussy about the 


ус been known to 
ce in the kitchens of even the 
largest and most reputable foreign res- 
urants in Mexico: simple dishes assume 
flavors that defy simple definition. Coq 
ан vin, for example, may taste as thou 
it had been marinated in root beer and 
a strong detergent: and рама often Dbe- 
comes a palate-palpitating 
warm glue and та 
of fried shrimps is rendered 
because the oil in which they | 
cooked gives off aan 
unmentionable. origi 
I don't know why non-Mexican food 
should be so generally horrible, but I 
was told by a hotel manager that an e 
ay not bc dismissed in Mexico 
ary incompetence; he must 
most or crime before he 
cin be пози out, Perhaps the kitchens 
of Mexico have become a haven for the 
world's worst. or ost indifferent, 
itchen staffs. This indifference extends 
even to the phraseology of menus: A 
Chinese restaurant in Guadalajara lists 
such delicacies as "nylonlike vermicelli 
soup. mesrrom, chicken with banbo, surry, 
leo. fried fideo, scaldop and 
I don't know what any of these 
are, and 1 must confess that while 1 was 
in Gu , 1 didn't try to find out. 
This can all be pretty discouraging 
for the hungry gourmet. My only ad- 
vice, if he doesn’t fancy Mexican food. 
to eat fresh fish and fruit, which is 


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229 


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230 


about the most reliable meal available— 
Ithough one will often run across a fair 
steak and some excellent soups. By con- 
trast, basic Mexican food (much of 
which. I have to admit. 1 can forgo 
without any lasting regrets) is in a cate- 
gory of its own, simply because the 
nocent traveler doesnt know whethei 
the wide divergence in йу flavor—even 
such staples as tortillas never seem to 


-is account 
regional 


taste quite the same twice 
able to bad chelmansh 
cooking habits. 

In any other country, such conditions 
would soon become intolerable—at least 
they would for me—but in Mexico, other 
considerations make them seem trivial, 
At La Gruta, for example, a restaurant 
near the pyramids of Teotihuacán, the 
food is plain and listless, but the setting 
is unique: a huge vaulted cave set 
hillside. The cooking is done at one end 
of the cavern on а raised platlorm, and 
the smoke from the stoves drifts through 
apertures in the rock face into the sun- 


p от 


light outside. Musicians wander from 
table to table, rovising suggestive 
songs about the customers, so that one 


soon becomes more engrossed in the 
surroundings than in the food, which is 
just as well. under the circumstances. 
There is good food to be found in 
Mexico City. but, as with practically 
everything else in the country, the qual- 
ity and service vary from day to day 
and sometimes from hour to hour. One 
of the 


most consistent, however, for 


both high quality and speedy service, is 


the Circulo del Sureste, which serves 
Yucatecan dishes—rich and exotic con- 
coctions that. for my are far supe- 


rior to conventional Mexi 
Seafood is alwa 
La Pla 
though the decor is bare and functional, 
both restaurants are nearly always full 
of decent 
international cuisine served with gr 


ın cooking. 
ys fresh and delicious at 


€ customers. For 


" 
attentiveness in luxurious surroundings. 
you could try the Muralto, at the top of 
the Latin-American Tower, or Les Am- 
basadeurs on Reforma. The Restau 
rant del Lago is billed as one ol the 
best international restaurants in the ci 
but Û was more impressed by the view 
and the fountain than by the chef. If vou 
feel a sudden desire for Chinese food 
while you're in the capital, you'll find 
Cantonese food at Yi-Yen on Hambur 
ind at the Luau on Niza. 

1 wish I could say nicer things about 
Mexico City's restaurants. It seems 19 
tastic thar in the hundred or 
that cater to foreigners who 
don’t want to eat Mexican food at every 
meal, there are so few that have mas- 
tered the art In fairness, however, it 
must be acknowledged that a. Mexican 
tourist in London or Rome would prob- 
ably starve before finding а passable 
Mexican. restaurant. 

If you've thought about using your 
for sightsee 

the 


nore estab- 


lishiments 


Mexico 
n the 


rented car 
City. lorget 


idea. 


“It may have happened here, Miss Kingsley, but it 


doesn't qualify 


y as an ‘industrial’ accident.” 


capital is a form of guerrilla warfare 
fought without regard for cither safet 


or sanity, I still flinch from the memory 
of a bus that bore down on my car from 
nowhere, a тайпа pile of uncontrol- 
Table nuts and bolts with the name JAMES 
BOND painted on the side, and at the 
wheel а mouthful of glittering gold 
teeth, bared in a wild grin at the pros- 
pect of imminent collision. According to 
а Mexican friend, the driving population 
is composed entirely of assassins and 
terchangeable roles that are 
ed until the moment of truth. 
This can come at an intersection. when 
one driver will challenge another to stop 
Just simply by putting his foot on the 
gas and hoping for the best; or it can 
happen on the highway when a motorist 
rockets into another lane without giving 
any signal. Mexicans say irs all part of 
machismo, the masculinity cult that con- 
tinucs to guide the conduct of so many 
Mexican men, That's their story. 
Mexican cabdrivers are no exception 
10 this rule, but they seem to survive. 
Use tasis; they're cheap and plentiful in 


the city. So ave chauffeured cars; and il 
the driver knows the city. speaks Eng- 
lish and сап be trusted to steer you to 


stores not owned by relatives, so much 
the better. There are also excellent bus 
and limousine tours that cover every as- 
pect of the city, from museums to night 
dubs. If you're interested. in either of 
the latter (or need information of any 
sort about the city), call the official Tour- 
ist Department at 66-06-00. 

Your own taste will guide you to the 
kind of sights you like most; but lor 


basic appreciation of the city (and the 

county itself, don't leave without 

i the new Museum of 
pulrepec Par 


You'll find the famous Aztec calendar 
stone here (the onc that’s reproduced in 
countless Mexican. murals and jewelry 
designs), as well as Tlaloc, the Aztec 
god of r . whose l68-ton figure sits 
the museum entrance on Reform: 
Not too many ye: 
ernment moved Т! 
where he had lain for centuries, the lo- 
cal Indians staged a riot, predicting that. 
mities would result from the 
ion. И wasn't as bad as the propt 
but, as the truck currying Tlaloc 
pproached the outskirts of the drough 
stricken capital, a violent thunderstorm 
erupted, much to the awestruck delight 
of the Indians; it rained for three days 

You should also find time to see the 
Zócalo, Mexico Ciys main plaz 
around which are 


ссу, 


metropoli hedral 
a church more than 400 years ago; and 
the National Palace, which occupies an 


entire block and contains frescoes by 
Mexico's best-known muralist, Diego 
Rivera, and a gallery of portraits of na 


tional figures. Close by is the inu 
National Pawnshop, which holds auctions. 


for jewelry, antiques and works of art. 
^ little distance north of the plaza, 
on Republica del Brazil, you'll see a big 
lump under the street; it's the top of a 
pyramid, reputedly one of the biggest 
ever built by the Aztecs in the days 
when the city was 
and it stood on 
of a huge lake. 

If you're in town on a Sunday mom- 
ing, take a cab to La Lagunilla, thc 
‘Thieves’ Market, which extends for a 
block and occupies both sides of the 
street. One merchant will have a blanket 
on which lies a neat pattern of used nuts 
and bolts arranged around a two-inch 
length of copper tubing. here's also 
jewelry, mostly silver; coins and stamps 
and racks of secondhand comic books; 
old spurs and machetes; mass-produced 
authentic antiques, all fake, plus a few 
genuine pieces; and crates full of maga- 
Zines for automatic pistols. Most of La- 
gunilla is, in fact, devoted to weapons— 
pistols, revolvers, Hintlocks, brassbound 
Winchesters, many of them in advanced 
stages of d 

One of Lagunilla's chief attractions is 
a colorful old gun merchant who dresses 
in the dirty whites of the rebel forces 
of Mexico's last revolution, complete 
with bandoleers, two gun belts, a gun in 
each holster and another stuck in 
his waistband, boots and leggings, som- 
brero, droopy mustache and a voice like 
the bandit chief's in The Treasure of the 
Sierra Madre, 

“You like thees gon?” he rasps at a 
prospective client, dexterously spinning 
the cylinder of a battered revolver that 
looks as though it was picked up from a 
revolutionary battleground but was, in 
all likelihood, dragged backward and 
forward across the desert for a couple of 
miles behind the merchants truck. 

“Thees gon very famous. Kill a 
hondred federales. You take it and kill 
you wile’s mother.” A standard joke that 
gets a big laugh of recognition from the 
merchant's friends, who stand watching. 

"Ehe customer, a young American, 
knocks a hundred pesos off the asking 
price and moves off into the crowd with 
the gun in a paper bag. The old man 
dips into a box under a blanket and 
takes out another battered gun. “Hey, 
amigos," he bellows, pushing back the 
brim of his hat. “Get your famous gon, 
one of a kind, see the gon that kill the 
federales." 

If you bargain, you can usually get 
the object you want for well under the 
quoted price. I'm not the world’s lead- 
ing haggler, so 1 won't try to advise you 
on method; but it seems that the most 
established procedure is to look dis- 
interested, offer half of the demand, 
adopt an expression of contempt when 

"s refused and then walk away. At this 
point, the seller is supposed to run after 
you and add a third to your offer, thus 
completing the deal to the satisfaction 


island in the middle 


“What don't I know from a hole in the ground, dear?” 


of both parties. I tried it once when I 
was particularly anxious to buy a certain 
gift in Guadalajara, but the merchant 
just roared with laughter. 

Close to the city are numerous ar- 
chacological sites, the Teotihuacán pyr- 
amids being the biggest and most 
spectacular. These are seen at their most 
dramatic at night, when a magnificent 
lightand-sound show is staged, Anyone 
wishing to stay overnight in the area 
should check in at the Posada Piramides 
—a delightful hotel set in a vivid garden 
in the village of San Juan de Teotihua- 
cán—that started as an inn for mule 
drivers in the early 18th Century. It has 
only six rooms, with white-brick walls 
and red-brick ceilings, plainly furnished. 

When going to the pyramids, advise 
your girlfriend or wife to wear slacks, 
not a skirt. The last time I was there, a 
group of ingenious voyeurs equipped 
with binoculars and walkie-talkies was 
stationed halfway up the steep face of 
the sun pyramid, receiving information 
from friends at the top as to the quality 


of female legs that were about to em- 
bark on the descent. It's about the only 


place in the country where M 
women wear slacks. 

Most fore ors spend only a few 
days in Mexico City, using it either as a 
base for short trips into the surrounding. 
countryside—such as the one to Teoti- 
huacán—or merely as a stopover en 
route to other destinations in Mexico. So 
entertainment is designed for Mexicans 
rather than for tourists, which simply 
means that you should not expect to 
find wellknown American performers 
heading the bills at local night clubs. 
"There is more than enough after-hours 
excitement, however, the more sophisti- 
cated of which can be found in the vari- 
ous salons and lounges of the larger 
hotels, such as the Alameda, the Maria. 
Isabel, the Continental Hilton, the 


ican 


Reforma and El Presidente. Of these, the 
first three are among the most popular 
meeting places in town, especially the 
Maya Bar of the Hilton, whose clientele 
scems to consist almost equally of cruis- 
ing homosexuals and airline stewardesses, 
and a sprinkling of Mexicans who court 
both sides. The best non-Mexican music 
in the city is heard at Fl Señorial, a night 
club that has three rooms with different 
styles of pop music in each. The Muralto 
bar offers strolling violinists and the most 
stunning view of the city after dark. 
The Champagne A Go-Go bombards 
visitors with disco-rock at maximum dec- 
ibel level until the small hours. Fla- 
meno is performed at Vendimia every 
night at 11; Terraza has two orchestras 
for dancing and three nightly shows that 
fluctuate in quality, depending on the 
mood of the performers. Most night 
spots employ bilingual m.cs. 

И you want to avoid the hotel-night- 
club excursion route, you can take a taxi 
to Garibaldi square; but keep your win- 
dows rolled up if you're not going to get 
out of the car, because this is where thc 
city’s mariachi bands congregate, wait- 
ing to be employed to play at some- 
body's party or just to serenade passing 
tourists. The usual charge is around ten 
pesos (about 80 cents) a song. If you 
want to investigate some of the cantinas 
on the square, take someone who speaks 
Spanish. The main saloons here are the 
Tenampa and the Guadalajara de Noche, 
both rowdy and full of atmosphere and 
both more authentically Mexican than 
any hotel bar. Here, as everywhere in 
Mexico, it is regarded as an insult to re- 
fuse a drink offered by another customer, 
and no excuses on medical or any other 
grounds will get you off the hook. 

In the posh Niza district, known lo- 
cally as “the pink zone,” there are any 
number of restaurants and small cabarets 


231 


PLAYBOY 


for late-night dining and dancing. Мом 
of the luxury hotels and stores—such as 


acci for leather goods 
—are situated in this as well, along 
with the embassies of France, Britain and 
the United States. aytime strolling 
and browsing, there are sidewalk cafés, 
art gallerics, bookstores and men's bou- 
liques, and the department stores of 
Puerto de Liverpool and Palacio de 
Hierro, all offering top-quality merchan- 
dise at prices to match. 

Some visitors, it must be admitted, 
will take advantage of the Olympic fort- 
night to stay out of the city until itis all 
over and everyone has gone home. If 
you're not a sports fan—or not enough of 
one to fight the crowds will be 
thronging every available inch of space 
in every cab, hotel, restaurant, night 
club, park, museum, theater and side- 
walk in town—this would be an ideal 
time to pick up a rented car and head 
north on Route 57 for a long, looping 
asses through Querétaro, San 

„ the adjoining ghost town 
of Pozos, the former mining city of 
Guanajuato and then back to the capital 
ia the cities of Irapuato. Morelia and 
Toluca, Each of these stops has some- 
thing special to offer; the scenery en 
route is spectacularly rugged and the 
d is paved all the way (except for a 
very short stretch between San Luis de 

Paz and Pozos). 

Querétaro can be reached іп а couple 
of hours’ driving. It is one of the leading 
gem-cutting centers in Mexico and the 
biggest wading exchange for opals. If 
you want to buy, deal only with the rep- 
ble merchants the shops off the 
main plaza; the men who will accost 
you on the streets with imaginative 
hardship stories and. pocketfuls of glit- 
tering stones are not to be depended 
upon. Their “ора” are synthetics im- 
ported from the U.S. 

About an hour's drive farther north is 
San Luis de la Paz, a small adobe town 
that sees very few visitors. It has a small 
market, where you can stock up on fresh 
fruit, then stroll across the plaza for a 
cold beer at one of the numerous 
ems, Nothing much happens in San 
Luis, but I like its sleepy mood and rec- 
ommend a visit as a change of pace 
from the bustle of the bigger towns. The 
vendors in the tiny market sit in front of 
their well-stocked stalls, waiting for cus- 
tomers who wil] never arrive, and burros 

iove through the narrow surects, oblivi- 
ous to the cries of their drovers. 

A few miles south of San Luis is Po- 
vos, a crumbling ruin of a prosperous 
mining town that once had more than 
40,000 inhabitants. Now its population 
is а few hundred, but you'll rarely 
see more than a dozen of them. The 
side streets are choked with the nibble 
of once-regal homes; the walls of the 


232 haciendas outside the town have crum- 


bled over the years, and the semidesert 
beyond is slowly creeping into the ruins. 
Small flocks of goats graze in the shad- 
ow of toppled walls and the wind whips 
spirals of dust through gaping doorways 
and out onto the street. Last time I 
passed through, a brand-new Ford truck 
was parked outside the church gates. It 
belongs to the local priest, a tired, agi- 
tated n who, when I saw him, was 
either in the process of starting a beard 
or had not bothered to shave for a [ew 
days. He rents the truck out to local 
farmers, weary old men who trudge 
along the streets and respectfully re- 
move their sombreros and hold them 
against their chests when they hear an 
automobile approaching behind them 

l asked one resident, а girl of about 
18, whether she had lived in Pozos for 
long. All her life, she said. She had been 
born there. No. she had never been to 
Mexico City. She had never gone 
ther than San Luis de la Paz She UE 
Know why Pozos was so empty 


. Нег 
the street while I was talki 
she ducked back i 
of her house. The father looked about 
80; with his tiny goatee and Oriental- 
looking face, he seemed more like an 
old Vietnamese peasant than a Mexican, 
except that he wore a faded purple 
windbreaker several sizes too large, with 
the words BURLINGTON 
stitched across the 

From Pozos back through San Lui 

the road leads across highway 57 and on 
1o the town of Dolores Hidalgo, which, 
though its neglected appearance belies 
the significance, where the inde- 
pendence of Mexico was proclaimed in 
1810. Since accommodations for tourists 
are limited in Dolores, and since the 
town has little to detain the selective 
traveler, it’s best to travel on to Guana- 
juato, one of the most picturesque с 
c country, which is perfectly situ 
ated in a narrow mountain gorge. It is 
proached by precipitous roads that 
offer а score of panoramic views of the 
town before dropping down into the 
town itself. 

If Guanajuato i» not the most photo- 
genic town in Mexico, it must surely be 
in the running. It has a unique system 
of cobbled streets that swoop below 
ground level, forming tunnels under the 
old houses, many of which are built on 
graceful bridges that span the streets. 
Narrow alleys and long flights of steps 
spiral up the mountain face. There 
tiny, treeshaded plaza with a band. 
stand and an open café overlooked by 
two of the most pleasant small hotels in 
the region, the San Diego and the Posada 
Fe. The town makes no attempt to 
act the swingers and the big spenders. 
There onc discothéque—the С; 
combs—and the night I went there, it 
was temporarily silenced by a power 


was 


failure that struck in mid-chorus, leav- 
ng a hapless combo standing in the 
dark, plunking away on several hundred. 
dollars’ worth of dead instruments. 

People always reach for comparisons 
when talking about Guanajuato. They 
talk about Montmartre and Toledo, but 
the town’s character is neither French nor 
Spanish. It is wholly Mexican, with a 
bowlful of odd and. is often the case 
in Mexico—not always appetizing flavors 
It has a few grisly souvenirs of its past. 
too, such as the hooks on the four 
corners of a revolutionary shrine, the 
Alhóndiga, on which the heads of four 
of Mexico's most revered patriots were 
paled in the war against Spain. It i 
no surprise that the most popular tourist 
shrine in the region is the crypt at the 
Guanajuato cemetery, where the mummi- 
fied bodies of long-dead citizens are lined 
nst the walls on exhibition. 
се its history is so closely tied to 
mining, Guanajuato has never been 
пос for its markets or local. hand- 
crafts. "Fhe most ubiquitous products are 
walnuts that have been split into [our 
quarters, hinged at each section and 
fitted inside with four spectators, a mat- 
ador and a bull. They are sold by the 
handful, and if you should wonder what 
earthly use they arc, I can only say that 
none of your friends is likely to own 
one, which makes them perfect gifts. 

From Guanajuato, the road leads 
south to Irapuato, renowned for its deli- 
cious strawberries and site of a busy but 
not very interesting market, and then 
over a ciusew across Lake Cuitzeo 
before reaching Morelia, capital of the 
state of Michoacin and the logical basc 
for excursions into the magnificent coun- 
tryside that surrounds it, and into the 
home territory of the Tarascan Indians, 
who live among barely accessible moun- 
tains and isolated lakes and who have 
hardly been touched by the different 
waves of civilization that have swept 
across the country since the Aztecs first 
occupied it. Morelia is a trove of hi- 
tectural and ecclesiastical tr ure—or 
that's what it says in one of my guide- 
books—but after Guanajuato, whose 
charm is easily visible and readily en- 
joyed, 1 found it disappointing. 

The trip to Mor however, is well 
worth it, if only for the four-hour drive 
back to Mexico City. The route goes 
through a part of Michoacán that is usu 
ally known а the Mexican Switzerland; 
its steep тошт nd fertile valleys 
give it a certain resemblance. Apart 
from the scenery, however, which is 
breath-taking, there are few towns of 
interest and few reasons to interrupt 
your journey, if youre in a hurry to get 
back to the capital. The one stop I 
would recommend is thc market at To- 
luca, where you can buy bulky-knit 
sweaters that are ideal for skiing week- 
ends and cost less than ten dollars. After 


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PLAYBOY 


234 


Toluca, the road becomes an express 
way again and in less than an hour, 
you're back in the city. 

When I made this trip а couple of 
months ago, 1 turned in the car I had 
rented and traveled the next portion, 
from Mexico City northwest to Guadala- 
jara, by 55-minute hop. 

In Guadalajara, stay at the Fénix, but 
only if you can get one of the new 
panish suites with roof gardens. The 


other rooms look as though they were 
designed by a depressed hospital archi- 


tect. If the full, try the Roma in 
the next block; the food is about the 
best in town and the staff is congenial 
and helpful. You'll have no trouble 
finding the Hilton, since it’s the sec- 
ond biggest building in town; but if 
you want something a little more old- 
fashioned, there's the Morales, a family- 
run concern that, with the Fé 
the Roma, is most centrally located. 
for shops. market and the bull ring. If 
you're in the mood for a motel situated 
on spacious grounds, the Camino Real 
will be a pleasant stopover. 

The chart on page 130 gives a fairly 
comprehensive list of the best restau- 
rants in town, I've tried all of them ; 
Lm still alive and well, which is 
s good a recommendation as you can 
gel. 1 particularly liked La Red and 
El Tyrol (the one on Yucatán Street). 
g else, get the bus 
we ound 9:30 in the 
morning and takes you to every place of 
interest in and around the city, includ- 
ing the residential sections, the most 
important monuments, parks, glass, fur 
niture and pottery factories, a mui 


nix and 


But if you do not 
tour that le 


town 


that portrays Albe 
physique like Batman’s 
lajara Country Club. Aside from t 
tour, which last veral hours 
full of fascinating trivia, the chief day- 
time diversion is the city’s enormous 
market, in which you can buy every 
variety of handerafts—in. leather, silver 
and gold, as well as pottery. woven goods, 
clothing and even the ingredients for 
mixing black-magic potions. Except for 
expensive gilt items, which you can buy 
in Mexico City at New York prices, you 
can save all your shopping for La Li- 
спай, the Guadalajara market. A re- 
liable guide to the city can be obtained 
by calling 4-86-50 and g for Guil- 
lermo Garcia, who works for the Mexican 
Tourist Department. 

At night, the best enter 
the two rooftop rooms of the Hilton. 
Earlier in the evening, one of the more 
popular stops is Mariachis Plaza, where 


you'll find é that is be- 
ed by 1 bands, as in Mexico 
City, waiting under the les for 


somebody to hire them. The Plaza is on 
nge of Guadalajara's raunchy strip- 
tease district, where I was impressed by 
one establishment that advertised itself. 
"The Cathedral of Striptease," but 
not, however, sufficiently impressed to go 
in and worship. 

One of Cuadal ing func- 
tions, as far as tourists are concerned, is 
to serve as а transfer point for passen- 
gers traveling to and from Puerto Val- 
Tarta, which is less than an hour's light. 
away. You can drive to Vallarta, but the 
dirt road is unreliable; and you can also 
fly directly from Mexico City. Steal as 
many days as you can for Puerto Vallar- 


sd 


“Lands sake, child! Didn't anyone 
ever teach you to knock?" 


ta, because you won't find many resorts 
like this one. The town, small and 
blithely undignified community of cob- 
bled streets and red-roofed building: 

sits on the inside curve of Banderas Bay. 
against à background of steep green 
hills. It shows little evidence of the s€- 
vere trauma one might have expected i 
reaction to the filming of The Night of 
the Iguana, which took place just a few 
miles down the coast at Mismaloya and. 
overnight, hustled Vallarta into the pub: 
ic eye. The buildings used in the movie 
e still there, but no Mexican wants to 
call it home; some hippies moved in but 
were soon moved on. 

Women still bathe and wash the fai 
ily laundry in the Cuale river, 
flows into the Pacific and is said to di- 
vide the town into its old and new sec- 
tions, though a stranger could hardly 
distinguish one from the other. The 
town is quiet and drowsy; pelicans 
nd on the low rocks below the water 
пс, waiting for an incautious fish to 
come too close to the surface, and along 
the beach can be found the empty shells 
of huge turtles that have been washed 
up by the tide. 

The climate here is semitropical—hot 
and often sticky in the summer, warm, 
dry and dazzling bright the rest of the 
year. Vallar still relatively isolated 
from the outside; there is no easy access 
by road, and most of the town's visitors 
are young. although the average age 
expected to increase at a rate corre- 
sponding to the development of the 
hway and local hotels. At present, 
the biggest luxury hotel is the Posada 
Vallarta, which is a short d се out of 
town and ttle too close to the 
for comfort. But the 
ably relaxed; its low, white colon 
buildings are set in fine grounds, and 
also the scene of two of Puerto Va 
a's biggest weekend social events—the 
Mexican fiesta and polo played on burro 
back. My own choice of hotels is the 
Playa de la Gloria, which has small ci 
cular bungalows set among a grove of 
coconut palms on the beach; it also has 
a pool and a tennis court. 

On the other side of town is the Trop- 
icana, which commands just about the 
liveliest beach If you book 
here, make sure your room isn't located 
in what the desk staff cuphemistically 
describe as "the 2 
ted from the beachfront wings by a 
street and a steep dimb up seve 
Nights of stairs; it has no view of the sea 
and seems to have been built on top of 
a mosquito swamp. Since all beaches 
are open to everyone, however, it might 
be a wise idea to use the Tropicana’s by 
day and check into a better hotel, such 
as the Oceano, which is nearer the cen- 
ter of town and on the main promenade 
by the beach. If you want even more 
seclusion than Puerto Vallarta offers, 


whi 


there's the Lagunita in Yelapa, a tropical 
beach retreat of thatched cottages two 
hours down the coast by boat. 

For transportation, you'll have to rent 
a jeep, since there are no cars. The big- 
gest agency is just inside town opposite 
the Solorzano gas station; but be careful 
if you deal there, because they collect in 
advance, with a hefty deposit, and pe- 
nalize you itant rates, should the 
vehicle happen to be deficient of a nut 
or a bolt when you return it. If you sus- 
pect they're trying to put one over on 
you, go down to the official tourist bu- 
reau in the main plaza and raise hell. 

With a jeep, you can move from 
beach to beach and explore the country- 
side north and south of town. You'll find 
fishing villages that look as though they 
were removed intact from the South 
Seas, and jungles full of squawking par- 
rots and things that crash through the 
undergrowth. It's not necessary to travel 
far before you find a deserted cove of 
white sand. With a rented mask and 
speargun, all you need do for lunch is 
swim out a few feet to find the fish; and 
if you want something larger, there are 
day trips for sailfish, marlin and other 
gamefish. You can take your catch back 
to your hotel chef for dinner or, if you 
go after the plentiful red snapper, sierra, 
pompano or bonito, you can take it to 
the Tropicana beach, where you'll find 
a yendor who will grill it over a fire 
of palm kernels, If you're skindiving, 
watch out for sting rays and the giant 
mantas; the latter, though harmless, have 
caused many a swimmer to panic under- 
water. If all of this should seem too ener- 
getic, you can just sit in the shade of 
a thatched beach hut, sipping a coco-loco 
and watching the bikinis go by. 

Toward the end of the afternoon, the 
beaches begin to empty and people start 
moving into town for cocktails and din- 
ner. The town's restaurants are surpris- 
ingly good by national standards, the 
most outstanding being Los Cuatros 
Vientos, where you can order practically 
anything you want, provided you first 
drop in and make a reservation; it is 


not one of the four places in town that 
have phones. El Patio serves good plain 
steaks and a delicious lime pie; La Igua 


na 5] izes in Chinese food, but 
don't hold your breath waiting for it; 
and La Margarita, which houses the 
town's only discothèque, has a Mex 
international menu. The most app 
feature of La Margarita is its mariachi 
ind, which has two trumpeters, one of 
whom stands in the courtyard where the 
restaurant is located while the other 
goes out into the street and plays all the 
tricky bits. Fresh seafood is, of course, 
available at every restaurant in Puerto 
Vallarta. 

The most popular early-evening mcet- 
ing place is the bar of the Oceano hotel. 
Later on, it’s the Piano Bar Colonial, a. 
noisy and lively establishment just a short 


walk from the Oceano along the same 
street. La Isla, on the road to the airport, 
looks like a Polynesian village, set by a 
small lagoon behind the beach. It usually 
hasa singer and music for dancing. There 
is nothing big and elaborate about 
Puerto Vallarta night life, but the com- 
pany always scems to be in good spirits 
and the minor irritations caused by delay: 
in service seem quite unimportant when 
onc considers that there's nowhere to 
wway. There is no reason to hurry 
in Vallarta, so nobody doe: 

When I first went to Mexico, І ex- 
pected to find a cheaper version of 
America, a kind of Spanish-speaking 
Canada. I reasoned that since Canada 
shared a border with the United States 
and shared much of its culture, too, 
Mexico would be the same, only poorer. 
It may be poorer, but it is not the same. 
Mexico is not like any country on earth, 
not European, not North American, not 
even Li American. 

Nothing in or connected with Mexico 
is tangible; successive waves of invaders 
Алес, Spanish, French, British and 
Атпсгісап—һаус tricd to mold it into 
their own likenesses, but Mexico has re- 
sisted them all in the end, which is why 
it remains unique. It appears to be an 
unreal country only because it has such 
a firm understanding of reality. Its 
passions, which so often appear as bom- 
bast and cruelty, are real passions, 
whether they be proyoked by a fiesta ot 
by an old grudge. 

Greater and older-established nations 
grope around in the darkness for long- 
range panaceas and the magic formula 
for the enjoyment of life and liberty and 
for the successful pursuit of power. 
Mexico, which has scen it all befor 
stifles a yawn and busies ЛЕ with the 
urgent task of getting through the next 
24 hours, taking each of them minute 
by minute and squeezing life into cach 
second, always remembering to save a 
few moments for death, which is never 
far away, grinning ght. 

It docsn't pay to get worked up about 
anything in Mexico. You must be pa- 
tient when you feel impatient; you must 
be calm when your impulse is to run 
around and start kicking things. Mes 
cans are not impressed by loud and bel- 
ligerent voices; they do not like to hear 
them and they refuse to respond to 
them. И your plane leaves before it’s 
supposed to, your hotel reserva 
to be recorded and it takes three sepa- 
rate trips for a waiter to complete the 
order you placed with room service an 
hour earlier, you will just have to put up 
with it in silence. Go to Mexico. You 
won't understand it; no one docs. But 
you'll sce much you have never seen be- 
fore and you'll forget a lot of things that 
you thought were important, Go, and 
find out for yourself. 


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(continued from page 142) 


Bach and Dartók—a picce Bartok had 
composed especially for him. And he 
also had a chance to hear several other 
Indian musicians, from both north 
south, perform. Since that first trip, Ye- 
hudi has been so taken with Indian ти. 
sic that he is still writing 
of it, studying it and try 
stand it better. 

After our first meeting, I performed 
n the same stage as Yehudi many 
times, though not with him. There was 
the UNESCO celebration in 1958 and 
the Commonwealth Festival in 1966. 
And then at the Bath Festival in 1966, 
we pliyed our first duet. The festival 
had commissioned a young, a 
composer to do а piece based on Raga 
Tilang for us; but while we were re- 
hearsing it. the music did not seem sat- 
isfactory. We kept the beginning of the 
piece more or less as it was and I re 
wrote the rest completely, keeping only 
Raga Tilang as the base. This we did in 
just three days! And the piece ма 
immediate success. When we did 
recording of it soon afterward, 1 
rewrote it completely and called it 
Swara Kakali. I also composed a short 
solo piece for Yehudi based on the 
morning raga Gunakali and called it 
Prabhati, which means “of the mor 
ing.” Yehudi had never played Indian 
nusic before; and in this short time, his 
efforts to play with as much Indian sp 
it as he could were really praiseworthy. 
In the latest duet that I have composed 
for us, which we played at the United 
Nations Human Rights Day anniversary 
on December 10, 1967, he really grasped 
of the music, and I am sure 
dience was as aware of this as I 


ng to under 


was. 

1 find in Yehudi the inherent quality 
of Vinaya and the desire to search for 
knowledge; for besides his fascination 
with our music. he is deeply interested in 
Indian philosophy and yoga. I think 
he has done a great deal to awaken in 
Western classical musicians an intense 
curiosity about India's classical tradi- 
tions. He is an ideal example for music 
students all over the world. 


My frst tip to the United States 
since a tour with the dance troupe in 
the Thirties was arranged by friends i 
1956. | was excited, of course, about 
going to the States on my own. My 
first concert, the Young Men's 
Hebrew Association in New York, 
surprisingly successful and got quite 
good notices from the critics. There were 
a few other performances in New York 
during the next couple of months, includ- 
ing one at Town Hall u 
almost all my other ре 
ranged through friends without the help 


of a proper agent. Some Indian friends 
then set up a few programs for us in Los 
Angeles and San Francisco, and so we 
toured to the West Coast. None of these 
places was new to me: but still, going 
on my own alter such a long time and 
performing for such a different kind of 
audience, I saw things from a new per 
spective. I noticed quite a change in the 
country itsell—so much more affluence and 
self and the attitude of the 
young people seemed to have changed so 
much since the War. 

Though 1 always considered San Fran- 
cisco and the surrounding country as 
one of the most beautiful places in 


surance, 


the world, there was something about 
Los Angeles that I felt more in tune 
with and that appealed to me more. 


Maybe it was this love for Los Angeles 
that prompted me to choose this city 
for a branch of my school of music. 
Jn Bombay, I had already estab- 
lished my Ki School of Indian Mu- 
sic, and i ams D saw 


а school 
is of the old ashrams—a 
small but complete community some- 
where beyond the city, with some very 
talented disciples, not tco many, and a 
carefully chosen group of gurus to teach 
the different styles of singing and of 
instrumental music. 

In recent tours to the States, and par- 
ticularly to the West Coast, I found 
many young people with a great desire 
to learn the music of India. And even 
India, over the past five years or so, 1 
have seen many young people from the 
West who have come to study our mu- 
sic. Some of them come to study with 
the help of fellowships and others have 
saved up enough moncy to make the 
trip. But too often, these cager stu 
dents seule down in a city, find a 
teacher, start to assimilate the new at- 
mosphere—and discover their time is up. 
Most of them rerum to America поп 
the wiser, musically at least, Tt was after 
seeing all these young people that I 
thought of starting a branch of my Bom: 
bay school in Los Angeles. Cl 
opened at the end of May 1967, in 
quite modest quarters, |t has since 
Brown enough so that we have had to 
move to a э. On the school 
premises, no smoking is permitted and 
everyone is supposed to take off his 
shoes before entering the school. There 
are no chairs, so student ave to sit in 
the Indian manner, and the 
ngs il 
h the teacher. 
pose in starting the school was 
to give young men and women a chance 
to learn the foundations of our music 
before going to India for further study. 
part from the basic technical training, 
we also give the students a thorough 
knowledge of the history amd develop- 
ment of our music along with the 
legends, mythology, religion and the 
cultural heritage of the past and its link 


my dr 


run on the ba 


with the present. Americans, perhaps 
more than anyone celse, I think, are 
ready for these disciplines, for several 
reasons. First, after achieving temen- 
dous affluence, they have had more than. 
their fill of material things now. Then, 
most importantly, there is the problem 
of the young people and their search to 
find the way to peace, harmony and 
love. Theirs seems to be a revolt against 
the Western ways of life; but I find they 
are good at adapting to other customs, 
and the waditions of India sccm most 
aitractive to them now, in spite of the 
strictness and discipline they call for. 

What I call the great sitar explosion 
began in early 1966—at least, that is 
when I became aware of it, when I 
went to Britain. The special attraction 
to sitar suddenly came about when the 
Beatles and the Rolling Stones and some 
other pop groups used it in recordings 
of their songs. Until then, I had never 
heard any records of these groups, but 
only knew vaguely that they were young 
popular singers. 

Then I met George Harrison and Paul 
McCartney of the Beatles in June 1966, 
at a friend's house in London. 1 found 
them to be very charming and polite 
young men—not at all what I had es 
pected. George came and talked to me 
about sitar. He said that he had been 
very much impressed with the instru- 
ment and its sound and my playing of it 
since he first heard me. I told him that 
after hearing so much about his accom- 
plishments, I would like him to show me 
what he had done with the sitar, With 
an awkward and childlike expression, he 
said shyly that it was really not very 
much. And it was then that I was struck 
by his deep humility. George explained 
to me that he had had no real sitar 
training but had done some experiments 
with it on his own, using his knowledge 
of the guitar as a background. He ex- 
pressed, very sincerely, his desire to learn 
sitar from me, I carefully explained to 
him that one must undergo many lo 
years of study and. practice of the ba 
before one can play even a single note 
properly. He understood all this per- 
fectly and said he was prepared to go 
through the years of discipline, I invited 
him to come to India with his wife 
10 study and spend some time with me 
He accepted enthusiastically. He asked me 
to his be: ul house Esher, outside 
London; and in the few days before I 
had to leave England, I gave George his 
first lesson in In: i 

After 1 returned George 
wrote and said he would be able to 
come and spend six weeks with me. I 
was pleased and wrote back, telling him 
to grow a mustache and cut his hair a 
bit so that he would not be recognized 
immediately. When we went to pick up 
George and his wife at the airport, we 
found that the mustache trick worked— 


no one recognized either him or Pattie 
at first, although there had been a lot of 
publicity in the papers about their visit 
"They registercd for a suite at the Taj 
Mahal hotel under a false name. But 
one young Christian pageboy happened 
to recognize them and truly, within 24 
hours, almost all Bombay came to know 
that George Harrison was there. Huge 
crowds of teenagers gathered in front 
of the hotel, headlines appeared in the 
papers about George's arrival and my 
telephone started to ring nonstop. 

I could not believe it when I saw this 
mad frenzy of young people, mostly 
girls from 12 to about 17. I would have 
believed it in London or Tokyo or New 
York—but in India! And I realized. that. 
young people in our big cities like Bom- 
bay or Delhi are no different from any 
of the other young people of the world. 
Some of these girls stood for eight to ten 
hours outside the hotel, scrcaming at me 
to send George down and furiously yell- 
ing for him. After a few days, T knew 
the situation was going to get even 


worse, I couldn't teach and George 
couldn't practice with all those young 
people screaming down in the street. 
Things reached such a state that we had 
to call a press conference to explain that. 
George had not come as a Beatle but as 
my disciple, and he asked to be left in 
peace to work on his music with me. 
‘Then we went to Kashmir and Benares 
and a few other places and spent the 
rest of his visit in relative quiet. In his 
lessons, I had George practice all the 
correct positions of sitting and some of 
the basic exercises. This was the most 
that one could do in six weeks, consid- 
ering that a disciple usually spends 
years learning these basics. Even so, 
George came to understand the disc 
pline involved and since then, he has 
realized how difficult it is to play the 
sitar and has said that it would ta 
40 years to learn to play it properly. 
Many people these days think that 
Indian music is influencing pop musi 
h degree. Personally, 1 do not feel 
it is truly our music that one finds in 


“Thanks to you, there isn't a 
virgin around to sacrifice!” 


237 


PLAYBOY 


238 


pop songs bur just the sound of the 
i xcept for а few groups who arc 
creative and. adventurous, most 
extremely shallow way 
as à new sound or gimmick. Though the 
sitar is being exploited now by pop groups 
on both sides of the Atlantic and will no 
doubt continue to be used this way for 
some time, those who sincerely love In- 
dian music as classical music should not 
be upset by this. One instrument can serve 
many styles of music. The guitar, for in- 
stance, has been used in many types of 
music, including pop and rock, but that 
has not affected or modified the tradi- 
tions of playing the classical guitar. 
"The Beatles scene and the sitar explo- 
sion brought me immediately into a po- 
sition of immense popularity with young 
people, and now I find myself adored 
like a movie star or a young singer. But 
I have had to pay for this. On the one 
hand, I have been facing criticism from 
the very "traditional" people in India, 
who say that T am commercializing and 
cheapening шу music the рор 
influence and lowering my standards of 
playing sitar. These charges I have had 
to face mostly in my own country, but 
also to some extent from classical musi 
Gans abroad. On the other hand, I was 
confident about one thing—I knew I 
would be able to present the correct 
perspective of our music to young people 
all over the world, so that they would 
have a better understanding of it. 
Now, I am glad to say, this understand- 
ing is indeed growing, though few people 
are aware of what I have gone through 
for the past two or three years, trying to 
explain to my audiences that Indian mu- 
sic is not related to pop or rock music, 
and cannot be hailed with hooting, cat- 
calls and whisiles and a lot of frenzy, 
that it is classical in nature and must be 
listened to with the same atti- 
tude that one brings to а Bach concert 
or a program of Mozart or Beethoven. 
Along with the teenagers, there was 
another large group, widely known as 
hippies, who became my zealous admir- 
I found it even more difficult to 
bring them to an understanding and ap- 
preciation of our music from the correct 
viewpoint The reason for this was, I 
felt, that many of them were involved 
with various kinds of hallucinogenic 
drugs and were using our music as part 
of their drug experiences. Though in the 


with 


jous 


ers. 


beginning I was hurt by their approach 
to Indian music as a psychedelic, spirit- 
ual and erotic experience, I later realized 


that it was not wholly their fault. I 
discovered that a few self-appointed 
American “gurus” had been propagating 
misinformation over the past few years 
about India, saying that almost all our 


notable ascetics, thinkers and artists use 


drugs. These “gurus” went as far as say 
ing that опе cannot meditate properly, 
play music or even pronounce the sacred 


word OM unless one is under the in- 
fluence of such drug: 

It was, of course, gratifying to sce 
that many people loved India and all its 
culture, but their expression of this love 
was superficial and their understanding 
of India's ways was very shallow. Wear- 
ing beads and bells and flowers and 
camying joss sticks came across as a 
mimicry and a mockery of the real thing. 
India now is overrun by unwashed, гє 
bellious young people. Ir is really sad to 
see these young Americans and Euro- 
peans from good families and back 
grounds who are trying to find some kind 
of spirituality and peace of mind this 
y in India and its customs. They do 
not realize that it is not the true Indian 
n, philosophy or thinking they are 
following but that, because of the asso- 
ciation with drugs, they are drawn to 
perverted and degenerated schools of 
thought. 

On one of my recent visits to the 
States, several young men came to me 
to learn sitar, When 1 fast saw them, 
their appearance filled me with pity— 
they looked pale and anemic and had 
shiny, glazed eyes. Their hands shook 
before their dirty bodies and they showed 
a strange, unnatural nervousness. When I 
found later that they were quite talented, 
I felt even sadder. 1 learned then that 
apart from habitually smoking marijuana, 
these boys were also taking LSD, Methe- 
drine and heroin. I tried to be sympa- 
thetic and explained ıo them that first 
they had to get rid of these habits before 
I could consider teaching them, In return 
they answered me with the same words I 
have heard from hundreds of others since 
Шао they feel so much more aware 
tough drugs, that they are so much 
more spiritual, that the drugs have opened 


up something inside them rhat makes 
everything much more beautiful. The 
next phase of our conversation was, as I 


had expected, a criticism of their society. 
They expressed disgust with Government 
policies and with the war in Viet 
particular. 1 spoke with these boys for a 
long time, vying to have them see the 
situation from а of view. 
Over the р L have come 
to understand young people much bet- 
ter and have found some remarkable 
people among the somewhat more m 
twe hippies. These people, many of 
them with an excellent education or 
practicing knowledge of one of the arts, 
after of academic and disciplined 
lives, try to "expand th 
they put it, 10 find a more mean 
experience through. drugs. Personally, 1 
have never considered drugs to be 
help in understanding oneself 
world around one, but I can now accept 
many of these people because of th 
ty of their attitude and the aware- 
they are doing, Even so, it 
hurts me deeply to see young people 


n in 


years 


г minds," as 


take to this easy escape from any sadha- 
na, found in hard, iplined work. I 
have had a great deal of contact with 
such young people, especially among 
my students in the States at my own 
school in Los Angeles and in the music 
courses I taught at City College in New 
York during the fall of 1967. I have 
tried to make them understand through 
affectionate, loving but strict tea 
that their initial approach to Indian mu- 
sic, in many cases, was wrong, and that 
even their approach to Indian religion 
and thought and to the other disciplines 
of life was not altogether correct. The 
students listen to me with care and I have 
had good results with many of them. 

I faced a problem with some of my 
concert audiences from about 1965 unti! 
recently, especially in England. Many 
young people were high, and altogether 

п another world, and often sat there in 
front of me carrying on indecently with 
their girlfriends or boy! 
cigarettes, if that is all they were, when- 
ever they pleased. Their conduct di 
gusted mc. Too many people 
dazed stupor send ош bad v 
that are extremely upsetting- 

As in my young days in Indi: 
ed my own rebellion against these rebel- 
lious youths. I had to put down my 
tar and explain what the music stands 
for and wh: means to me and my 
guru, and what it meant to his guru and 
all the generations of musicians who have 
aded down these sacred tı ions to 
us. 1 told them how clean and solemn. 
one must be—in body and mind—to be 
able to produce this music, and insisted 
that one must be in the same frame of 
mind to listen to it. Then only can it 
work magic, without the need for 
ny outside stimulus. 

Now I am happy to know that things 
e changed to such an extent that this 
problem has practically disappeared. My 
audiences everywhere are much more 
clean and respectful, serious and recep- 
tive—particularly in the United State: 
I am pleased now when older men and 
women come to me after performances 
and thank me for helping their son or 
could be more satisfying? 

It that in these very same 
moments, I am criticized in my own 
country for "prostituting" my music and 
g a hero only 


n this 


to the hippies. for associar 
with drugs and for encouraging dissat- 
ised youths from the West to flock to 
India. But the hippies are dead, as they 
have officially declared, and I am con- 
vinced that young people all over the 
world, after generations of restriction 
and then years of abuse of their new 
freedom, are now slowly settling do! 
With their new, dear awareness, they 
will show us the way to attain peace, 
harmony and love. 


"I once said no to John Barrymore in that lift." 


239 


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