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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN MAY 1969» ONE DOLLAR 


4 - 


KEN W. PURDY ON CLASSIC-CAR COLLECTING 
BILL COSBY RAPS IN AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW 
PLAYBOY'S FABULOUS LAKE GENEVA CLUB-HOTEL 
CAMILLE COMES ON KINKY IN A WILD NEW FILM 
WILLIAM F. BUCKLEY, JR.—GOD'S RIGHT HAND 
JULES FEIFFER'S HOSTILEMAN VERSUS MANLYWOMAN 


| / ART BUCHWALD TRIES TO WRITE A DIRTY BOOK 
ROMAIN GARY * ARTHUR KOESTLER * ALAN HARRINGTON 


A 


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KOESTLER HARRINGTON 
LORD BYRON wrote, 


PLAYBILL “she walks in sos 
like the night"; but PLAYBOY'S cover £ 
leue Lindberg, prefers to ride 
one of the ten vintage autos featured 
our concours d'élégance, Ken W. 
Purdy’s Glassic-Gar Collecting. He knows 
whereof he writes. “I've owned five of 
the ten cus 1 mention,” says Purdy. 
“Which means either Fm prejudiced or 
Гуе got very good judgment.” These 
splendid machines, which were so su: 
perbly made, are now so carefully tre; 
ured that they will probably survive 
their present. owners. 
In The Immortalist, 


as- 


Alan Harr 


gion 


envisions a time when man may outlive 
all of his creations, He calls on our 
advancing medical technology 10 outlaw 


death—the spiritual oppressor as well 
the C kind—and pro- 
jects the posibility of eternal life as a 
liberating scientific fact rather than an 
tide of as well into the ide 
ions about freezing 


rent," Harrington explains. Next month, 
a greatly expanded version of The Im- 
morlalist will be published by Random 
House. 

Less concerned with lengthening life- 
spans than with improving the quality of 
contemporary life, Romain Gary pens a 
compelling overview of the revolt of the 
young, the black and the poor against 
The Baiting Society, which he feels lures 
them with its riches yet denies many of 
them economic access to those riches. 
‘The increasing militancy with which 
they demand their equal share breeds 
institutional repression that Са 
escalate into “a kind of nonpo 
‘idom.” 

Despite Gore Vidal's televised accusa 
tions of Nazism during the Democrati 
Convention last August, William F 
Buckley, Jr—as эссп by George F. С 
der in God's Right Hand—comes olf less 
а storm trooper for the con: ive Right 
than a storm watcher and kibitzer, con- 
tent with his multiple roles of editor, 


PURDY сирек 


Жах 
GARY 


author, debater and asp-tongued scourge 
of the liberal establishment. “The article,” 
reports Gilder, “is the product of over 
two years of interviews with Buckley, 
whose charm and generosity pose a dire 
threat to the critical faculties of any 
writer without the calluses of am idco- 
logical bricklayer (or brick thrower)." 
A former Nixon speechwriter, Gilder is 
now preparing a book on the new Ad- 
ministration, his first since 1966s The 
Party That Lost Hs Head, a post-mortem 
of the Goldwater candidacy; he also plans 
n in-depth study on the crisis of the 
cities. No stranger to urban problems, 
comedian actor-entrepreneur Bill Gosby— 
а product of Philadelphia's black ghetto 
—sketches his own impressionistic por 
пай in a Playboy Interview conducted 
by Associate Editor Lawrence Lindern 
With bitterness as well as humor 
speaks out on a variety of explosive 
racial. political and social issues in the 
course of tracing his rise from poverty to 
supersolvency. 

Art Buchwald, the cclebrated satirist, 
bon vivant and part-time pop historian 
who contributed How Playboy Changed 


America 10 our Filteenth Anniversary 
Issue, reappears with a revealing apologia: 


Why I Can't Write а Оту Book. "Actu. 
alls," he admits, "I'd like to write a clean 
book without onc sex scene in it. It would 
be a challeng real tour de force— 
but I don't think the public is ready to 
accept a book like that.” 

When veteran movie and TV script- 
writer W: Law decided to “write 
something for the simple reason that I 
wanted something different and rather 
special ло read,” the result was The 
Thousand-Dollar Cup of Crazy G 
Coffee, this month's 1 
you'll enjoy reading 
id: It’s a potent literary brew, li 
with а leavening of comedy but Jeth 
the last Фор of suspense and 
darker mood prevails in our first short 
tory by Arthur Koestler, Hungary's dis- 
nguished author (Darkness at Noon) and 
critic. The Chimeras is a metaphysical 


ner 


DIXON 


BUCHWALD FEIFFER 


mystery in which the transformation of 
men into monsters becomes nothing more 
than a problem of social adjustment for a 
psychiatric patient. Koestler feels tha 
man’s latent monsterism threatens to trans- 
form his tale from a mere neurotic fantasy 
into a nightmarish reality. As a matter of 
fact, he told us, "Since writing this story 
my own symptoms have become more 
severe.” Spinning to the flip side of the 
same psychic coin, in his first PLAYBOY 
piece since The Young Man Who Read 
Brilliant Books (August 1968), Stephen 
Dixon indicts man's indifference to man 
and his sufferings in. Berry-Smashing Day 
at the C&L. 

Rounding out our Lucullan fiction fare 
is Thomas Livingston's The Arbitrator, а 
disturbingly believable prognostication of 
blacknationalist terrorism in the proxi- 
mate future. When Livingston returned 
to the United States after living in Paris 
from 1961 to 1966, he was shocked by the 
deepening disharmony of American race 
relations alter experiencing the casual 


color blind n intellectual 
community. 

For those who want a lighter look into 
the futu May issue ollers exclusive 


vant-garde erotica at the 
century in Camille 
nopean film 
that updates Dumas’ consumptive hero- 
ne into a promiscuous speed freak. We 
also invite you to join us on a grand 
picorial tour of Playboy's second Club- 
Hotel, at Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, an inn 
for all seasons that boasts lavish accom- 
modations, sports of all sorts, plus opu 
lent dining and drinking. Filling out this 
issue are Part I of another intrepid ad- 
ven with Jules Feiffer's Hostileman. 
highflying apparel and appurtenances 
for the man on the move in Travel Gear 
Takes Off and our own wi 
tempts at traffic engineering 
Erotica. So sit back, pour yourself one of 
‘Thomas Mario's white fruit brandies (in 
Captivatingly Clear). turn the page and 
E 


uncovi 
wm of 


the 
Turns On—a kinky 


next 


cw 


ing into spring à 


LAW 


vol. 16, по. 5—may, 1969 


PLAYBOY. 


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Classîc-Car Collecting P. 94 


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CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL...... — 5 Я = з 
DEAR PLAYBOY. — ssssssssss 9 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. Е 27 
THE PLAYBOY АРУ ОВ. x F = 57 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM... 2522 (63 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: BILL COSBY —condid conversation 73 


THE $1000 CUP OF CRAZY GERMAN COFFEE—i 
CLASSIC-CAR COLLECTING — article 
THE BAITING SOCIETY —e; 


WARNER LAW 90 
KEN W. PURDY 94 
ROMAIN GARY 102 

ART BUCHWALD 105 


WHY 1 CAN'T WRITE A DIRTY BOOK—humor. 
AUTO EROTICA — pictrial.... 109 
BERRY-SMASHING DAY AT THE Саі сноп STEPHEN DIXON 115 
THE IMMORTALIST—article. ALAN HARRINGTON 116 
BLUE-RIBBON BEAUTY —pleyboy's playmote of the month 120 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humer 128 
GOD'S RIGHT HAND—personality GEORGE F. GILDER 130 
CAPTIVATINGLY CLEAR—drink. с THOMAS MARIO 133 
THE LAKE GENEVA PLAYBOY CLUB-HOTEL—pictorial essay. 2 . 134 
THE CHIMERAS—fiction___. ARTHUR KOESTIER 145 
CAMILLE TURNS ON—ı 
THE ARBITRATOR fiction... 


ictorial 150 
THOMAS lIVINGSTON 157 


THE PIOUS MATCHMAKER—ribald classic... 159 
TRAVEL GEAR TAKES OFF —appurlenances €— 161 
HOSTILEMAN —зоһге......... JULES FEIFFER 164 


ON THE SCENE—persa 
SYMBOLIC SEX—humor DON ADDIS 207 
THE PLAYBOY ART GALLERY—humor. Е JIM ВЕАМАМ 241 


HUGH м. nener editor and publisher 


гстокѕку associate publisher and editorial director 


ARTHUR PAUL ан direclor 


JAGR J. KESSIE managing editor VINCENT т. taiki picture editor 


SHELDON WAX assistant managing editor; MURRAY FISHER, MICHAEL LAURENCE, NAT 
LEHRMAN senior editors; NOME MACAULEY fiction editor; JAMES Goone articles editor: 
ARTHUR KRETCHMER associate articles editor; том слух modern living editor; олуи» 
малата, HENRY FENWICK, LAWRENCE LINDERMAN, ROBERT J. SHEA, DAVID STEVENS, 
ROBERT ANTON WILSON associate edilors: ROBERT L скекк fashion director; DAVID 
TAYLOR fashion editor; LEN DEIGHTON travel editor; KEGINALD POTTERTON assistant 
travel editor: THOMAS MARIO food & drink editor; J. PAUL GETTY contribuling editor, 
business & finance; ARLENE BOURAS copy chief: KEN W. PUMDY, KENNETH TYNAN 
contributing editors; RICHARD KOFF administrative editor; ушла влхвки 
DURANT IMHODEN, HAROLD RAMIS, CARE SNYDER, DAVID STANDISH, ROGER WIDENER, RAY 
WILLIAMS assistant editors; BEV CHAMBERLAIN associate picture editor; MARILYN 
Guanowskt, TOM SAILING assistant picture editors; MARIO CASULLI, DAVID CHAN, DWIGHT 
HOOKER, POMPEO тозак, ALEXAS URBA slaf) photographers; RONALD BLUME associate 
art director; NORM SCHAEFER, ВОВ POST, GEORGE KENTON, KERIG POPE, TOM STAEDLER, 
төзімі raczek assistant art directors: LEN W LTER KRADENYCH, VICTOR 
HUBBARD art assistants; MICHELLE. ALTMAN assistant cartoon editor; JOHN. MASTRO. 
production manager; ALLEN VARGO assistant production manager; PAT PAPPAS 
rights and permissions = HOWARD w. LEDERER advertising direclor; JULES KASE, 
JOSEPH GUENTHER associate advertising managers; SHERMAN KEATS chicago ad- 
nerlising manager; ROWERY A. MCKENZIE detroit advertising manager; NELSON 
илен promotion director; mamur Loxsca publicity manager; MENNY DUNN 
public relations manager: ANSON Mount public affairs manager; rubo 
FREDERICK personnel director; JN моц» sub- 
scription manager; ковект s. PREUSS business manager and circulation. director 


пым reader service; ALVIN Wi 


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SERIOCOMIC 
The pleasure of encountering another 
person who shares so many of my 
thoughts, views, hopes and dreams urges 
me to send my thanks to rraveov for 
the February interview with Mort Sahl 
What he has to say about life in America 
is a bitter pill that few of us want to 
swallow—but that is exactly what we 
must do if we are ever to become well. 
He has been called Americas con 
science, and conscience most often mects 
resistance or disdain. 1 applaud him, 
1. Hinkley 
Sherman Oaks, Californi 


Sahl js what an American should be. 
One cannot accept the establishment and 
be an American; the Americans are the 
few who question, listen, digest and then 
their mind, even though what they 
say may fall on closed minds or deaf 
cars. To call Sahl a comedian sells him 
short. Although he makes one laugh, he 
also makes one think, 
Thomas L. Van Meter 
Grand Valley State College 
Allendale, Michigan 


speal 


Mort Sahl emerges ın your interview 
a genuine human being. Not only 
does he eschew the fascist line but he sees 
beyond the liberal and middle-of-the 
road phonies, also. He's funnier than 
Buckley, Vidal and the Pope put together 

€. M. Turner 

Corpus Christi, Texas 


Your interview with Mort Sahl speaks 
very well for my generation's views. It's 
comforting to know that someone besides 
us under-30s [eels that the war in Viet 
nam is both costly and senseless; and, 
above all, that politics in gencral stinks! 

Lamy R. Kurtz 
North. Kansas City, Missouri 


Alter reading Valley of the Dolls—and 
your recent interviews with Lee Marvin 
and Don Rickles—I was relieved to read 
your interview with Mort Sahl and dis- 
cover that all showbiz personalities don’t 
pepper their conversition with obscene 
language. Speaking as one who has never 
been able to identify with a single politi- 
J, religious or ethnic group, 1 think 
that Mort has come close to voicing шу 
personal philosophies on most subjec 


As a woman, I am not at all offended by 
his opinion of our sex; in fact, I consider 
adaptability onc of our best qualities. 
How else would the human race have 
survived all these changing cons? And as 
a wife, I am happy to consider being my 
husband's helpmate my sole career, with. 
out demeaning my intelligence. Thank 
you for providing your readers with a 
first-rate interview 

Wendy Best 

Gansevoort, New York 


Mort Sahl should talk about politics 
and the establishment—and keep his 
mouth shut about women, 
Jorge E. Estrada 
Lexington. Virgin 


І thought the interview with Мон 
Sahl was a disgrace to rravsov. I have 
enjoyed every interview T have e 
except this onc. Even Eldridge 
made more sense. | am under 25, but 
Mort Sahl is not my spokesman on any 
subject 


Dave Carr 
Lima, Ohio 


DECENT SOCIETY 
Tread the January issue of your maga- 
zine with great interest. This was my first 
exposure to your publication and I was 
deeply impressed by it. The articles com- 
prising The Decent Society symposium 
were both definitive and provocative. In 
sum, hearty congratulations for a su- 
perior production. 
Leonard F. Jansen 
Spokane, Washington 


As you know, actors rarely agree with 
critics, but I must admit that Kenneth 
Tynan's outspoken symposium contribu- 
tion on The Arts & Entertainment con- 
tains many valid suggestions. However, 
with the demand for subsidies coming 
fiom every needy group in the country, 
I see little hope of Government's. back- 
ing the theater. Maybe, when the V 
nam war finally comes to an end, there 
will be more funds for home use. Then 
we may, if we lobby loudly and per- 
sistently, prevail upon the holders of 
the purse strings, so we can repair our 
battered profession. 

A few years ago. 1 did а play on 
Second Avenue, at a time when everyone 


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was mournfully saying that Yiddish thea- 
ter was dying. But we sold out every 
night, One Sunday, a lady came to the 
box olfice and asked for two tickets 
“We're sold out,” the cashier replied. 
"What do you mean, sold out? І come 
all the way from the Bronx, and he’s sold 
out,” she cried. “Sorry, madam,” said the 
cashier, "but we're sold out every night.” 
To which the woman replied: "That's 
why the Yiddish theater is dying!” Aft- 
er 65 years in the theater, T still have 
faith in this fabulous invalid, and I'm 
sure that articles such as Tynan’s will 
help keep us a 


Molly Picon 

Mahopac, New York 

Something of a legend in Yiddish thea- 

ter, Miss Picon has also stared on 
Broadway and in films. 


With great interest, I read the high- 
level contributions The Decent Socie- 
ty symposium. The articles are extremely 
valuable and I missed only one point of 
importance; namely, the use of art as an 
educational medium. I consider an 
volvement with the visual arts—archi- 
tecture, painting, sculpture—to be the 
necessary balancing complement to the 
rapidly advancing sciences. In our edu- 
cational system, the arts are treated only 
t the margin, instead of in the center 
of the educational programs—trom the 
nursery on. A knowledgeable involve- 
ment with art should be a must for 
everyone throughout the entire edu 
al curriculum. With few exceptions 
in the lower levels, this most important 
icular discipline is missing. I do not 
art appreciation but, rather, the 
disciplines that can reawaken in every 
individual the lost ability to create and 
understand form and to use it for his 
own environment. 

Walter Gropi 
Professor Emeritus 
Harvard U i 
Cambridge, Massachusetts 

German-born architect Gropius was 
among the founders of the Bauhaus 
movement and has won countless inter 
national awards for his work. 


Iam happy to see you publishing such 
articles as Peter Matthiessen's The Phys- 
ical Environment, as the несі to dis 
tribute information on conservation is 
enormous. 


R. Marlin Perkins, Director 
St. Louis Zoological Park 
St. Louis, Missouri 
As armchair naturalists know, Perkins 
originated TV's “Zoo Parade” and cur. 
rently hosts “Wild Kingdom.” 


William Sloane Goffin, in Education, 
contends that if university professors are 
to make significant contributions in cre- 
ating a decent society, they must be 
Socratic gadilies. However, gadflies are 
threats to the power structure's vested 


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interests іп our universities and in the 
community. Profesor Leo Koch—who 
was fired from the University of Illinois 
in 1960 for condoning premarit 
is still unable to obtain a position as 
a college teacher. It is a high price to 
to continuously martyr oneself by 
being crushed by power groups in our 


al se 


universities. I don’t know whether 1 am 
any longer willing to pay the price. I 
suggest that professors use other means 
at their disposal in building a decent 
society. 


Professor Edward D'Angelo 

Coordinator, Cornell Critical 
Thinking Project 

Cornell University 

Ithaca, New York 


After reading The Decent Society and 
being quite impressed by the pragmatic 
quality of the various essays. I must add 
а Satanic comment to Harvey Cox’ con. 

Religion & Morality. I 
wholeheartedly agree with Cox in most 
of his observations. Man docs need reli- 
gion. its ceremonies, rituals and 
assorted trappings—but he needs а reli- 


tribution on 


with 


gion based on what he is, not on what he 
can never hope to be. Man being a 
predatory animal, there will always be 
conflict їп the world, whether it be on 
the battleficld or on the chessboard. I 
think if Gox were to marry Ayn Rand 
hey might produce some wonderfully 


Satanic children 
Amon Szandor LaVey, High Priest 
Church of Satan 
San Francisco, California 


Thank you for Justice Douglas 
s even daring interpretation of 
liberties more commonly regarded as 
conservative safeguards against the abuscs 
of power. Jt is a novel approach these 
days to forgotten origins and ideals. 
Roger Baldwin 
American Civil Liberties Union 
New York, New York 
Ап A.C.L. U. director for many years, 
Baldwin served as the organization’s na 
tional chairman from 1950 to 1955. 


Bravo! The symposium in your Fif- 
teenth Anniversary Issue, The Decent 
Society, is а milestone in leading Ameri- 
ca to а society in which a man can be 


man. One must answer Kenneth 
call for "leadership wise enough 
strong enough to generate a new 
compassion, a new commitment to d 
mocracy and equality transcending race 
A key way to express commitment to 
democracy and equality is in our housing 
choices. Both whites and blacks must 
choose to live their beliefs when they 
select their housing 

Morris Milgram, President 

Planned Communities, Inc. 
New York, New York 


In the same breath with which I con- 
gratulate riaynoy for publishing such 
important views as appear in The De. 
cent Society symposium, let me say that I 
sce them as middle class and over 50— 
quaint and already historical, We need 
to hear more from the young people— 
those who are still in the “indecent socie 
ty” trying to find the way ош. We 
haven't listened to nor learned from 
them yet, and we had better do so. 

John Money. Ph. D. 

Associate Professor of Medical 
Psychology and Pediatrics 

Johns Hopkins University School 
of Medicine 

Baltimore, Maryland 

Dr. Money is one of the world's lead- 
ing investigators of the psychology of sex. 


BEDLAM REIGNS 
I would like to commend your selec- 
tion of Whispers in Bedlam as lead fic- 
tion in the February mrAvnov. Irwin 
Shaw is one of America’s most unsung 
short-story writers, His most vital asset 
his ability to delve deep into the human 
psyche, in an eloquent, articulate and 
subtle way. The result is а smooth- 
flowing work that is a pleasure to read 
Han Bilu 
New York, New York 


1 can't tell you how much pleasure 
Whispers in Bedlam gave me. The fact 
that Гуе been а profootball Гап for the 
past 15 years made the story that much 
more enjoyable. 


P. Sturt 
Dayton, Ohio 


BRAINS VS. POLITICS 
Carey McWilliams The Intellectual as 
а Political Force (pLavuoy, February) is 
a timely analysis of the intellectual's 
increasing influence in shaping our polit- 
ical attitudes. The impact of the intel 
lectual on political thought is seen not 
only in our nation but all over the 
world. The establishment, existing in 
its microcosm of nine-to-fiye jobs, subur 
ban homes and status symbols, rebukes 
the intellectual for disrupting the status 
quo with questioning and dissent, At the 
same time, the intellectual endeavors 10 
reshape political and social thinking, in 
order to change conditions he believes 
are detrimental to society. If it were not 
for the dissent of these people, we would 
become a nation of mere puppets—with 

a puppeteer Government 

Ken Burbeson 
Chapel Hill, North Carolina 


McWilliams has keenly 
the role of the intellectual in our society 
‘The myriad problems the future will 
create will not be the problems of any 
particular group but, rather, will plague 
the entire society. They will not be 
difficulties that can be "solved" by 


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ng the operations of the welfare 
state. In order to control the system, we 
must first understand the process of per- 
petual change that will characteri 
"This is where the intellectual en 
picture. He must transcend the system in 
order to view the process objectively. 
The intellectuals must emerge as a group 
whose influence is pervasive; for, as 
мамі observes, “Postindustrial so- 
cieties, with their complex bureaucratic 
require constant scrutiny and 
The intellectual community 
will provide a focus for the dissemination 
of knowledge about the system. It will 
also provide an arena for the tossing out 
of new ideas and the synthesis of these 
id understand and 
possibly со technological so- 
ciety. McWilliams foresees the increased 
importance of the intellectual commu- 
nity in the future. I commend him for 
his enlightening article. 
L. D. Stern 
Houston, Texas 


The problem with today's intellectuals 
is a lack of concern for the individual— 
plus their notion that their status as 
intellectuals automatically places them a 
step higher than others. They are mem- 
bers of an elite group trying to tell the 
masses what is best for them. A nor 
lectual who tries to think for 
damned as one who just docsn't 
enough to make a sensible decision. Per- 
haps it is well that intellectuals, as de- 
scribed by McWilliams, have not become 
а decisive political force. 1. 
power to the politician 
ng to the intellectuals. At least 
then, more di jority will be 
listened to and moi 
will be . Let's not create 
class of narrow 


use they think they are the 
es who know enough to make 
a have enough 
g another group 
whose interests are supposedly the only 
ones that arc valid? Let us not drift any 
art. If we follow McWi 
се, the present crack in our socicty 
ll become a chasm that nothing can 
bridge. 


George Hathaway Ш 
Columbus, Georgia 


Intellectuals are ў 


ELBOW ROOM 
Let me sincerely congratulate Richard 
jour for his humorous article Look 


bit shocked to note, as Armour accu- 
rately points out, that I—along with 
Sigmund Freud, Havelock Ellis and 


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Krafft-Ebing—have completely ignored 
this singular female crogenous zone in 
my writings. How 1 could have made 
such a terrible blunder I hardly know. 

Armour, however. has his own regret 
table lap: expert. For nowh 
in his scholarly paper do 1 find mention 
of the male elbow which can beautiful 
lv be employed for purposes of sexual 
stimulation. Even more reprehensible. 
no doubt. is Armour's complete neglect 
of the male toe. But, alas, he has for 
gotten—or, worse yet, has never even 
known—about this highly eroticizing 
emity. 1 trust that he will 
хе us some words of wisdom about 
Sexy appendage in the not-too-dist 
future. 


азе 


Albert Ellis, Ph. D- 

Executive Director and 

inicil Supervisor 

сей Study in 
Rational Psychotherapy 

New York, New York. 


BUSINESSMEN 

I thoroughly enjoyed J. Paul G 
The Myth of the Organization Man in 
the February rLayvsoy. I had long con 
sidered business ay a career, but 1 did 
not definitely decide upon it until re- 
cently. Getty Паз convinced me of the 

dom of my choice. In his article, he 
ı exceptional job of showing that 


e. Reading 0 
с of the coundess c 
business has to offer. Th: 
Шу informative article. 

Ronald R. Honck 
Pennsylvania State University 
Univ 


you for th 


sity Park, Pennsylvania 


Сенуз article on The Myth of the 
Organization Man was excellent, 1 id 
hegun to think, as a result of experience. 
that the aggressive, creative individu: 
was doomed in the business world. Get- 
iYs commentary has given me а new 
reason to keep working, in spite of the 
knocks. 


les C. Moerdyk 


In the recent publication of my let 
bout J. Раш Geuy's. The Educated 
ecutive  (PLAvmOY, September 1968) 
hing got lost in the translation." 

when Getty asserts that the 
dder ло the upper echelons [of man 
agement] is based on the liberal arts.” 
he assumes thar the lower 
somehow bypassed, permiuing the tyro 
to commence hi from a middle. 
management position. This is rarely the 
case. The asp 


rungs аге 


ascen 


do so, he needs а specific area of techni 
cal competence, A company with which 
Getty is associated. for example, seeks 


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technically trained men during its cam- 
pus recruiting efforts 

Second, Getty concludes that the candi- 
date for a future executive position has 
wo choices of educational preparation— 
either to be trained "a rrow specia 
ist, little more than a technician, [or as] 
a well-rounded man of taste. discernment, 
understanding and intellectual versatil- 
This is a tempting simplification, 
but I think it is misleading to dichoto- 
mize students prerogatives. It is not 
merely one or the other. Why not expo- 
sure to both: a composite of humanities, 
arts and sciences plus professional edu. 

е both a prospective in- 

tellectual and a productive participant 
in society? Recognized schools of manage- 
insist on a balance between liberal- 
ng and professional development. 

Dr. Robert Wright 

Assistant Dean and Assistant 

Professor of Management 

College of Business Administration 

Arizona State University 

Tempe, Arizona 

As is customary in publishing, PLAYBOY 
occasionally edits letters for reasons of 
space and to eliminate duplication of 
points made and issues raised in other 
letters relating to the same subject. Dr. 
Wright feels that in our editing of his 
letter, his praise for Mr. Getly's basic 
theme was retained, while his exceptions 
were omitted. 


SEX IN CINEMA 
The concludi 


installment of Arthur 
Knight and Hollis Alpert’s The History 
of Sex in Cinema, in your January issue, 
was very enjoyable. I understand the 
British Central Office of Information is 
preparing a capsule to be opened some- 
time in the far future, and they have 
approached me regarding my suggestions 
for objects to be included. 1 feel it would 
be a great pity if all the isues of 
ayBoy in which this series has ap- 
peared were not among the items includ- 
ed. In my reply to them, I will me 
it. It would make such a refreshing 
change from such things as one Plastic 
Zulu Rest Camp. one Inflatable Under- 
water Bust of Anna M ї or one 
g with Nail in End. I heartily 
concur with what Winston Churchill 
fhe human mind is incapa- 
ble of rest; what it needs is change.” 
Peter Sellers 
London, England 


Your series The 
Cinema is an amusing and stimula 
appreciation of an interesting and im- 
portant subject. My thanks to writers 
Knight and Alpert. 


istory of Sex in 


Vittorio Gasman 
Rome, Italy 


Iam deeply impressed by the efforts of 
Knight and Alpert and equally disturbed 
by the lack of sex in cinema. I was most 


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interested in what they said about my 
wife, Ingrid Thulin, in the final install- 
ment. They wrote: “Miss Thulin once 
confessed privately that she thoroug 
enjoyed her sexual moments in film: 
always thought that she confessed 
public that she thoroughly enjoyed her 
sexual moments in private. Looking at 
the way you illustrate sex, I feel I should 
send some genuine and natural Swedish 
desiccated milk to you. Put it in some 
water, shake it and give it to your ріс- 
torial editor. He will be satisfied. 

Harry Schein, President 

Swedish Film Institute 

Stockholm, Sweden 

We tried the milk and it was lousy. 


CLIFFORD'S CLIFF-HANGER 

There's nothing more pleasantly ago- 
ng than reading a good suspense nov- 
ial form—and it was with great 
п your February issue 

the third and last installment of F 
cis Clifford's Another Way of Dying. It 
was well worth the wait. My hat is off 
to him for creating a fine action adven- 
ture and to PLaynoy for devoting the 
space to publishing it. 


Arthur Holmes 
London, England 


1 just finished reading the final install- 
ment of Francis Clifford's Another Way 
of Dying and enjoyed it quite a lot. 
Clifford is one of my favorite authors of 
wl ics 
sa pleasure to read him. The Brit- 
n to write these storics so much 
better than anyone else. 

1. J. MacDonald 
Long Beach, California 


SOUL SATISFYING? 

Congratulations to Thomas Mario. 
Soul Satisfying, his February article on 
Southern food, was excellent. Should he 
decide to compile his Cajun recipes in 
a cookbook, he'll have a best seller on. 
s hands, We were glad to discover that 
we have been living on soul food lor 
generations. We would like to add one 
note—the reason Southern recipes re- 
quire so much seasoning: Before the days 
of refrigeration. food (especially meat) 
was plentiful but not all of it could be 
consumed before it would begin to spoil 
Spices and herbs were used to disguise 
approaching spoilage. 

Mr. and Mrs. Richard Dayries 
Port Allen, Louisiana 


Thomas Mario, in Soul Satisfying, has 
inadvertently formulated an amazing hy- 
pothesis; that ten percent of Southern 
white families had huge kitchens—which 
they needed to prepare food to feed 
their brethren who owned no slaves at 
all. This exaggeration points up the ab: 
surdity of Mario's assertion that “most of 
the cooks in the pre-Civil War South 


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were Negro. . . ." Soul food is esse 
Southern food, A visit to a. Mississippi 
farm this past summer introduced me to 
the joys of collards, black-eyed peas and 
all, and they are delectable. No argu- 
ment | Bur the fact remains that 
only about ten percent of Southern fami- 
lies held slaves, and even fewer had 
kitchen help. There are soul-food arcas 
of the upper South that had no slavery. 
As for the implication that soul food 
Чун! out of discarded wastes— 
іш, Mr. in crror. Every agri- 
cultural Se has evolved its uses 
for the less desirable portions of 
tered ani з of 
Pennsylvania Dutch territory, for exa 
ple, I know that pigs’ intestines (chitter- 
lings) are used as sausage casing and that 
every other leftover (snouts, cars, etc) 
finds its way into souse or headcheese, 
And at calbcustrating time, mounta 
oysters are considered a gus 
Inwin Richman, Associate Professor 
of American Studies and History 
Pennsylvania State University 
University Park, Pennsylvania 


К 


DELAYED RESPONSE 
I should like very much to comment 
on Robert Morley's article іп your De- 
cember issue, In Defense of Indolence, at 
a later date, 
Don Rosenblit, Vice-President 
Procrastinators" Club of America 
Philadelphia, Pennsylv. 
We won't wait up. 


ECLECTIC TRAIN 

William Sansom’s article, The Orient 
Express (rtAvuoy, February), reminds me 
of the happy days of 1925, when I left 
Paris for a lecture tour in central Europe. 
1 boarded the train at the last minute 
: conductor told me: "Sorry, s 
no single left." Then he whis- 
pered into my ear: “I still have a cabin 
for two left, The lower berth is occupied 
by a lady: the upper berth is vacant, 
Although iti nst the rules, haye you 
ny objection if I ask the 
n to let you share her 
“Do, by all means!” 1 excl: 


si 


med. 
He returned with a broad smile and 


“This Hungarian lady does not 
object.” 

1 entered her cabin on tiptoes; she was 
already in bed; I promptly occupied my 
upper berth, after having noted that my 
traveling comp a spicy bru- 
nette. When the train was crossing the 
nch border, there was a sudden halt, 
which actually threw the lady out of her 
bed. 1 heard her groans from the Воо 
quickly jumped out of my berth to a 
her, pretending that I was a doctor. 

She moaned: “Oh, Doctor—my bi 
side hurts. Please, please massage me 

I placed her on the couch; and between 
the Bavarian border and Munich, 1 had 
the pleasure to massage the most fasc 
nating fanny I ever came across. After 
Munich, she begged me to Не by her 


10 prevent another fall. Between 
ich and Linz, she taught me to say 
in Hungarian, lips. nipples, bottom, etc. 
Between Linz and Vienna, 1 learned to 
say kiss, love, caress, Had the Orient 
Express gone on to Peking. I could have 
wriuen a book in Hungarian. 

Maurice Dekobra 

Paris, France 

Traveler Dekobra is а French author 

whose many novels and plays have been 
translated into 29 languages—including 
Hungarian, One of his novels, “Тһе Ма 
donna of the Sleeping Gars,” was situat 
ed on the Orient Express, as Sansom 
noted in his article. 


Sansom’s article is proof that old leg- 
ends never die. As an old Orient Express 
hand and an enthusiastic chronicler of à 
onceqneat. train, I want to congratulate 
ting the glory of the 
and not spoiling the game of the 
t. I would like to add that not 
only people who don't like to fly take 
that train, I still take a wagon-lit com- 
partment in Europe whenever possible. 
Next to a nice boat, it's the only civilized 
way of travel left. Not id not al- 
ways comfortable, but p and pri- 
vate—and you know that you will not 
wind up at Havana. x 
Joseph Wechsberg 
New York, New York 
Travel wriler Wechsberg will appreci- 
ale the following letter. 


PLAYBOY OLE! 

І was one of the passengers on a plane 
that was highjacked to Cuba on January 
second. I had bought the latest issue of 
PLAYBOY before boarding in New York 


and intended to read the magazine on 
the way to Miami. Halfway through, 1 

was interrupted by a man running down 
the aisle of the plane, yelling, "Havana! 


Havana!” and “Anyone moves, dies!” 
When he was in the cockpit of the jet, 
the passengers, predictably enough, start- 
ed getting nervous. After about 20 min- 
utes of discussing our fate, we calmed 
down and the man next to me asked me 
if he could read my magazine. | said 


yes, Ав soon as he gave it back, the man 
sitting in front of me asked the same. 
When he returned it, another man made 
the same request. As T handed it to him, 
his wife, who was very nervous, told him: 
"Read it, 


dear. I know it'll calm you 
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Robert Kaplan 
leah, Florida 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


here could hardly be ап American 
ware that a significant number of 
the nation’s college students аге engaged 
п a frontal assault on academic institu. 
tions and curricula they consider irrele- 
vant, outmoded and undemocratic. But 
суеп among those over-and-under 30 
types who sympathize with the rebels’ 


cause, many wonder what the dissidents 
have to offer in place of the traditions 
they're attempting to demolish. The cur- 


riculum catalog of the freeform, student- 
organized Midpeninsula Free University 
Palo Alto, California, should silence 
their skepticism, if not their misgivings. 
Their attention would be arrested, even 
riveted, as ours was, by an advertisement 
on the inside cover showing wo sullen 
young couples in somber commencement 
robes and morta nd a front 
view of a third couple, totally naked but 
for smiles, flowers and beads, over a 
caption reading, "Which university are 
you going to this fall?” Which, indeed? 

Reading on, we were struck by the 
down-to-carthness of many MFU under- 
graduate courses. as exemplified by such 
subjects he Womanly Art of Breast 
Feeding,” "Kayak Construction,” “Elec 
tronics and Practi House Wiring 
and even "Auto Eroticism,” which is 
not a study of masturbatory techniques 
but a coyly titled course e. In 
sharp contrast to such worldly studies are 
a mind-blowing, spaced-out assortment of 
seminars on the extrasensory and the 
occult—meditation, witchcraft, astrology, 
scientology. 1 Ching, tarot, the 
arious yoga disciplines, "Advanced Fan- 
агу.” "Advanced Dream Interpretation 
nd the attainment of natural highs. 
Excursions for Free Spirits" promises 
"group flights in astral. projection": and 
the Parapsychology Workshop is open to 
nyone with known or suspected gifts,” 
including “telepaths, poltergeists, medi- 
ums and prophets” Premetaphysicians 
may also sign up for such snap courses 
as "Man's Place іп the Cosmos” (which 
meets once a week) or study such con- 
structive subjects as “The Experience of 
Death,” which utilizes “psychodramatic 


rboards- 


s 


n car 


techniques to actualize the experience of 
dying.” 

Despite its interest in the other- 
worldly, MFU offers a notable number of 
courses on how to confront one's corpo- 
real contemporaries. Grouped together 
in a lengthy section titled "Encounter." 
the subjects under this heading range 
from “Competition.” in which partici 
pants act ош their aggressive impulses 
with verbal and physical games, to “Vo- 
cil Expressionism,” in which students 
tempt to communicate nonverbally v 
the “gutty, garrulous, garish cuols of 
heart sounds" Not surprisingly. many of 
the Encounter courses evoke the various 
forms of Fros: among them are “Ай 
vanced Group Loving” (which involves 
“touching exercises and acceptance of 
group nudity"), "Marriage Counseling 
for Multiple Mates" and "I—We. the 
Rhythm of Intimacy" (a weekend excur- 
sion for couples involving “trust-touch- 
intimacy games and a variety of group 
methods”). For those who have exhausted 
the possibilities of heterosexuality, MFU 
offers both “The Limits of Lesbos” and 
“From Narcissus to Elysium"; and for 
those who can't make up their minds, 
there's “Bisexuality: Why? And Why 
Not?” Parents of students enrolled in 
such courses needn't fret about vencreal 
disorders: the prerequisite for A. C./D. С. 
studies is that “you must be clean and 
have no diseases.” And “for those who 
do not bathe or brush their teeth before 
coming to human-contact classes," there 

а special program in “Personal Hy. 
giene for Touch Course Participants 
(The brochure notes, however, that “On 
second thought, this course will not 
meet, It would be too unpleasant.) 

MFU's involvement in the cultural 
revolution is manifestly evident іп the 
inclusion of such "Guerrilla 
Theater” (“How 10 act dirty on the 
street corner and get arrested in the 
name of art"). A somewhat overweening 
desire to cast off the last vestiges of 


courses as 


parental influence is detectable in "The 
Names, They Are A-Changing,” which 
ves classmates ап opportunity to dis- 


card their family handles in favor of 


appellations that 
personal karma 


better express their 
Pastoral utopianism, 
laced with politics and practicality. finds 
expression in "Survival Village” and 
"How to Set Up Revolutionary Com- 
munes." And the mechanics of revolu- 
tion, armed and unarmed, are covered 
by “Tactics and Strategies of Confronta- 
tion Politics" "Peace Games—an Exer- 
cise in Nonviolent Persuasion” and the 
provocative “Death to the Murderers of 
Che MFU's revolutionary 
commitments also include. participation 
in “the Ad Hoc Committee to Liberate 
Downtown Palo Alto"; and the school's 
extracurricular facilities boast a Legal 
Defense Guild, a Bail Fund and a Gen 
eration Gap Mediation Service. not to 
mention Abortion Counscling and a Bad 
Trip Intervention Center to protect stu 
denis from their own excesses. 
ions that life at 
MFU isnt all work and no play are 
evident іп such courses as “Ping Pong for 
the Proletariat” and “Creative Chicken 
Killing” (humanely performed, the bro. 
chure straight-facedly assures us). Nude 
costume parties arc held for couples over 
91. and the schedule also includes "An 
ening of Bawd,” a dirty-joke session at 
which perverts are welcome MFU also 
ап engagingly unorthodox art pro 
gram, incorporating such courses as 
"Listening to Rock," "Primitive Body 
Movement" (“with emphasis on the spine 
and pelvis and special attention given 
ng"), and a Poetry Workshop 
that sounds straight enough—until you 
read that at some point during the 
quarter, students will be asked to write 
under hypnosis 

Though MFU may be а harbinger of 
educational trends, there are some 
grounds for supposing that it may self 
destruct as a result of such courses as 
"Good Food Is Good Karma," which in 
dudes experimentation with macrobiotic 
dicts (an Oriental form of self-starvation 
that can cleanse the body). And there 
may be a contradiction between the 
school’s espousal of creative anarchy and 
its students’ apparent need for certain 


evara. 


Additional indica 


27 


PLAYBOY 


basic forms of leadership: the catalog 
states that “a significant portion of the 
male Free University population has 
issued an impassioned plea for their 
mothers,” thereby inspiring a far-flung 
"the Free U Mother'’—a mysti- 
that could have the same 
effect on MFU that the 
pursuit of the Holy Grail had on the 
Knights of the Round Table. When 
finally installed, she may prove 
to be more of а smotherloving yenta 
than her scholastic offspring might expect. 


While MFU is striving toward aca- 
ме note that other en- 
terprising Californians are diligently 
preparing for Armageddon. Geologists 
(and clairvoyants such as Edgar Cayce) 
have long noted that the San Andreas 
Fault—which opened up in 1906 and de- 
stroyed most of San Francisco—is overdue 
for another giant temblor, In anticipation 
of this event, a group of Golden State 
estate speculators is buying up land 
along the eastern perimeter of the fault 
and planning to resell it as “a choice 
selection of future occan-front property.” 


Our Humanitarian of the Month 
Award goes to the New York Times 
writer who, in an article on Tanz 
plan to shoot and market game animals 
lor food. reported: "Ihe . . . main ob- 
jective is to provide relatively cheap 
meat for protein-starved Africans Some 
of the game meat will also be exported 
for human consumption. 


An anticancer campaign raffle was 
held not long ago at Salisbury, England, 
The prize: cigarettes. 

Incidental Intelligence, Gourmet Di- 
vision: Chapter two of the book Edible 
Native Plants of the Rocky Mountains is 
devoted to “Poisonous Plants." 

Medical note to ponder: The Jour- 
nal of Urology calls itself the “Official 
Organ" of the American Urological As- 
sociation. 


In Spanish, that most lyrical of all 
Romance languages, esposa means both 
wile and handcuffs, 

Peerless Logic Department: According 
to The Cleveland Press, police prosecu- 
tor Clarence Rogers of that city has 
ordered that prostitutes’ clients be ar- 
rested and thrown in jail. In explaining 
the move, Rogers flatly asserted: “It is 
my belief that without the participation 
of men, there would be much less prosti- 
tution activity in the streets.” 

A recent Earl Wilson column in the 
Chicago Daily News contained this eye 
opener about a Christmas show in which 


singer Barbara McNair performed before 
an Army audience in Viet ‘She was 
singing Silent Night to the Gls, often 
numbering 25.000 and sitting on their 
handbags and their helmets, wanting to 
cry, just out of their homesickness 


Softcore pornography is where you 
find it: In National Geographic. Franc 
Shor wrote, "Lake Como, its shore dwell- 


striding westward, his front foot in Como 
and the other in Leeco. Between the two 
legs is a promontory of great beauty.” 
The New York Daily News reports 
^ karate school owner is goin; 
out of business because, he says, "Th 
neighborhood is getting so tough that my 
karate instructors are afraid to come to 
work.” 


Our Feelthy Peccture Award this 
month goes to the Chicago Tribune for 
a movie review stating that J Love You, 
Alice В. Toklas! "is the story of a 
square peg (Peter Sellers) who tries to 
fit into a round Whole. and a hippie 

morsel (Leigh Taylor Young) who de- 
cides that grass is gas, but Peter's neater.” 


BOOKS 


First it had to happen, he said; and, 
second, the man to whom it happened 
had to “make it all come true.” But since 
nest Hemingway's in Чоп was 
ike a muscle that he had to keep in 
shape even when he wasn’t writing 
fiction, Papa often made what hadn't 
really happened seem to come true, too, 
so that by the end, his life was entangled 
with his legend and the boundaries be- 
tween fact and imagination were hope- 
lessly booby-trapped by his overwhelming 
but disintegrating personality. Numer- 
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than-life life have attempted to set those 
len guideposts straight, but the book 


most aficionados е been awaiting is 
Carlos Baker's Ernest Hemingway: A life 
Story (Scribner's). Well, it’s here; and 


if you want to know the complete con- 
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matches, safety pins and salt) as he set 
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day, June 10, 1915, or the color of the 

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Since it was Hemingway's tragedy to die 
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Life is so ca 


y to describe, so hard to 
imagine. Nabokov some- 
place weitdly evocative, mysteri- 
ous, touching and evasive new major 
novel, Ada (McGraw-Hill). Ш Pale Fire 
was Nabokovs Finnegans Wake, then 
Ada is his Finnegan reawakened "The 
master of nostalgia and paradox is at 
work here on a complex brew of styles, 
languages, geographies and times, all 
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downy and pubescent body of Ada her- 
self—a monster, near genius, vivisection 
ist, labeler, talker and witty cousin to 
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Nabokov remarks, as near beer is to 
beer.) Though the narrative is less grip- 
ping than those of such masterpieces 
Lolita, Bend Sinister and the autobio- 
graphical Speak, Memory, the ferocious 
game player of these earlier books has 
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strolling and philosophic Nabokov. Must 


the action be sorted out? There are the 


nd M 


swcet sister witches, Aqua 
and the incestuous lovers Van Veen and 
Ada, and horny Lucette and the paternal 
rake Dementiy "Demon" Veen, and 
the Franco-Russian-Anglo-American fam- 
ily retainers and restrainers who succeed 
not at all at their tasks, and the elegant 
duels and nostalgic voyages and space- 
time twistings through punning territo- 
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Old Russia. Old masters and young mis- 
tresses abound; even the word “rikehell’” 
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"The story (excerpted in last month's 
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PLAYBOY 


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that the clear roadmarks and abominable 
wordplays await solemn scholarly exe- 
gesis. The delights of wit and fantasy 
amount to overfecding. The passion is 
atrocious and comic. The elephantine 
weight of genius (not near genius in 
Nabokov's case) will make the reader's 
mind reel with thought beyond thought, 
worlds beyond worlds. metathought, meta- 
worlds. A picareque pastiche of idyllic 
vacations, 19th Century motorcars, mad 
journeys and letters and languors, spies, 
captains, blackmailers, _ whoremongers. 
scholars, тоо 


c» botanical rapes 
and pedantic the book is 2 
parod filled with exploding sym- 
hols oddly reconstituted. It’s a sieve that 
holds water. It is concerned with "the 
dubious reality of the present" and “the 
unquestionable one of remembrance.” 
t and future are raveled together, 
rtly unraveled; the future is teased 
nd assaulted; and while the author 
aces Jumberingly on his hands, the 


pages of Ada and then to applaud. It is 
unnecessary to ask if Nabokov, who has 
aid that he tra 
space helmet, is one of the immor 
He zigs and zags in his own с 
nary orbit through the literature of our 
lime and discovers new worlds for those 
who can follow. 


Gore Vidal began exploring and exco- 
riating our society in print at age 19. 
Now, approaching his midaus, with 
Reflections Upon а Sinking Ship (Little, 
Brown), he finds that his works h: 
rocked the boat very much, after all. and 
that, in fact, the ship of fools is in some 
danger of going under. Vidal has arrived 
ng but a plateau of resigned, 
aged tranquillity; these rellec- 
ns are written from a peak of near 
desperation over the human condition 
ins in command of his dour 
ns; his angers are channeled 
and his arguments disciplined су 
their fiercest. In these essays, he manages 
to bring off that neatest 
the stiletto that pricks the mind 
ues unaccustomed thinking, 
On American novels: “It has been ob 
served that American men do not read 
novels because they feel guilty when they 
read books which do not have facts 
them. Made-up stories аге for women 
and children; facts are for men." On 
"dirty books"; “The worst that can be 
said of pornography is that it leads not 
to ‘antisocial’ sexual acts but to the read 
ing of more pornography." And an ex 
planation of why he chose to reprint a 
biting criticism of Bobby Kennedy 
7... partly for what it has to say about 
that doomed family, partly for what it 
has to бау about the way in which our 
political system has become a game for 
the very rich.” Finally, however, Vidal 
commits а woeful excess in considering 
the peril of overpopulation and world 


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PLAYBOY 


34 


famine proposes a dictatorial “au. 
thority” to conuol births and arrange for 
"desirable" generic selection. Well, it 
would be remarkable if à man of such 
iconoclastic perception. were not pos- 
sessed of at least one irrational notion. 
1С Calder Willingh: 
Providence Island (Van 
ed to be à. parody, гу success 
If it’s intended to be a literary success. 
it’s a parody. Willingham tells us that 
the book is an attempt to deal with the 
“elementals and fundamentals" of love. 
Judged seriously on those terms, Provi- 
dence Island sullers from delusions of 
grandeur and a little schizophrenia to 
boot, Willingham a curious style 
that combines a lusty vocabulary wi 
geewhiz tone. example, 
executive hero (scheduled to be played 
on the sereen by Paul Newman) remem 
bers an early sex experience, and then: 
“Jim put a hand over his eyes, а blush 
of embarrassment on his face and his 
smile of pained fondness turned into a 
wince.” Or, “Gently, taking care not to 
hurt her, Jim squeezed [her breasts] in 
such а way that he could feel the mass of 
veins or gristle or whatever it was deep 
inside them, the part he supposed pro- 
duced milk when а woman had a baby.” 
As pure ратойу of sexual swashbuckling, 
however, the hero's hapless pursuit. of 
the inhibited wife of a missio 
an ugly Lesbian as referee, is h 
uded о 
island. Willing. 

m puts his sex vehicle into high gear. It 
careens wildly for 950 pages—only to 
run out of gas and bump along to a 
dreary end. Forewarned readers, how 
cam concentrate on the shipwreck 
ection (chapters 13 through 25) and 
I probably enjoy it as a tale of a 
perverse pilgtim’s progress from individ- 
1 seduction to ménage à trois to orgy. 


new novel, 
is intend- 


Are these statements true or false? (1) 
Utility companies now building nuclear 
reactors have great concern for public 
safety and are fully insured against 
largescale loss of life due to a nuclear 
accident. (2) Adequate research and test- 

ng assure safe operation of the new 
st reactors.” (3) The Atomic Energy 
Commission safeguards the public from 
nuclear-reactor accidents by the rigid 
safety requirements they lay down for 
the utility companies that build them 
False—according to The Careless Atom 
(Houghton Mifflin), іп which author 
Sheldon Novick provides plenty of facts 
to bolster his argument, Accidents can 
and have happened to nuclear reactors 
at Chalk River, Ontario; Windscale Pile 
Sumber One, England: Hanford, Wash. 
ngton; and Lagoona Beach, Michigan. 
То date,” writes Novick, "nine [reactor 
fuel] cores have been destroyed or seri 
ously damaged... . Three reactors have 
been put out of action and never re 


vived." 
has gone so fa 


Luckily. none of these mishaps 
to “disassemble thc 
machine"—technician’s jargon for “blow 
up.” Private insurance companies believe 
the possible scale of disaster is so la. 
that they've refused to insure atomic 
nts for anything close to the full 
amount of the risk. Hope for the future 
seems to lie in public protest and de- 
mand for scientific evidence about a 
ic safety, honestly presented. The world's 
largest utility. Pacif 
already atiest to the power of an aro 
public. Novick relates how, after spend 
ing $4,000,000 on a proposed reactor 
plant near San Francisco, P. С. E. with 
drew its plans. in the face of widespread 
local opposition. The publics most tell. 
ng argument? The proposed site was a 
mere 1000 feet from the San Andreas 
Fault, the most active source of eari 
quakes in the country. This report 
stringent antidote to the utilities public 
relations comic books featuring lovable 
characters such as izen Atom and 
Reddy Kilowatt. 


ge 


Frank O'Coi 


пог was à genuine artist 
who wrote well and copiously. Not on 
of the 27 stories in A Set of Variations 
(Knopf) is bad or even mediocre. But to 
judge the stories individually is 10 miss 
the point—which is easy 10 do when one 
first reads O'Connor. As tale follows 
tale, the speed reader may well miss the 
artfulness of the sequence. supposing 
w be one of simple before amd after, 
whereas it is 2 skillful ing of one 
part io the other and of cach part to 1 
whole. The present volume evokes Irish 
life, particularly that of the smaller cities 
and towns, with a rare blend of preci- 
sion, compassion and camaraderie. From 
the first story, in which O'Connor writes 
of a ilu tic widow who takes in foster 
lren "of good family" as a way of 
ning independent of her married 
iphters, to the last, in which a priest 
е center of several stories) 
ed, against his next of 
kin's wishes, in the place he had chosen, 
O'Connor's dissection is alv 
good-humored and severely just. It is an 
act of charity to fabricate a letter so 
that a priest can be buried where he 
wants; but is it also an act of charity to 
falsify a death certificate so that another 
priests suicide сап be passed off as a 
death due to natural causes, thus avoid- 
ing scandal and unnecessary suffering for 
the deceased's family? The line between 
| charity and misgui 
passion is sometimes hard to s 
O'Connor has made it a bit morc visible. 
nd Céline's scathingly 
scatological vision, La Belle France was 
the anus of the earth—and when history 
gave the world an enema, the result was 
the 20th Century. His early novels be. 
spattered polite literature with sewer 


In Louis-Ferdin 


language, putrefied subject matter and 
bitter vomit prophesying the horrors soon 
to come—which he greeted with mad 
black Laughter, Swiftian comic fury and 
hallucinatory madhouse shrick indi 
the direction of much of the literature to 
follow. In the late Thirties, when the 
centrifugal force of his wildly spinning 
rage carried him close to insanity, Céline 
published a series of virulent anti-Semitic 
tracts; some have atiributed these to in- 
a World War One and 
his subsequent trepanation, while othe: 
have suggested that he shouldn't be 
called anti-Semitic. since he hated ever 
one, regardless of race. religion or color. 


In any case, he was widely regarded as a 
collaborator during the Navi Occupation 
and, 
опей 


after the Liberation, was impris 
for treason. In Castle to Castle 
. first published іп 1957 (and 
nslated with great power by 


ph Manheim), Céline writes with 
turbulent genius of those War ye: 
“the document.” he calls his barely 
fictionalized account—and in the fever 


of his indignation, he sees himself as а 
kind of Fifth Horseman of the Apoca- 
lypse—called Vengeance. The first 100 
pages seem like nothing but paranoid 

i he regards himself as 
the most unjustly hounded pariah in his 
tory, actually, he was treated more fairly 

п most suspe 
ally hoping his ene 
so he cam get in rhe last won 
digubal Je. 
vote five 
malignant tumors between the esophagus 
and the pancr And. considering the 
invective he hurls at his own publisher 
wishing he could sce him skinned alive, 
his head split open, and hanged (for 
openers), it's amazing that the book was 
even put into print. But in the fin: 
two thirds of the novel, Céline transcends 
hysterical selfjustification nsfiguring 
his sense of person: ge into an 
eloquent eyewitness chronide of inhu 


manity. Gathered together at the Hohen- 
zollern castle on the Danube are the 
: Pétain 


l, collaborators and lunatics. 
wb Vichy offici: 
of European culture, the g 
holocaust 
way between qua 
From his office, across the ly 
constantly overllowing toilet, 
examines the scabs of others, rather than 
picking at his own (he was the offi 
Vichy doctor); and though his vol 
emains as great a leveler as de: 
ing no опе escape his la 
eruptions—he creates a tortured test 
nt to man's stubborn endurance 
n Guignol of contempor 
wry. To Céline, the proper study of 
nd is his own bestia the 
nd, victims and executioners become 
one. stinking corpses at the last damn: 
tion. He stood in the ропот сігае of 


the debris 


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our modern hell. in d: 
nights without daw: 
him no consoling philosoph: 
any medicine—only а vial of cyanide. 
Michael Holroyd, author of the widely 
acclaimed biography of Lytt 
has turned his attention to fictio: 
result is А Dog's Life (Holt, Rinehart & 
Winston), in which Holroyd has dreamed 
up with fine economy а memorable cast 


of odd English d 
me. Mathilda, George and Kenneth 
arquhar, who live together in a house 


with their dog. Smith. АП of them range 
from dotty to doddering. If occasionally 
there is a slight sense of strain in laying 
their barminess on the reader. it is rcla- 
tively minor. A worse problem is that 
after having created what appears to be 
a highly individualized and thoroughly 
musing assortment of card-carrying cc- 
centries, Holroyd suddenly chooses at the 
end to go dead serious on us. The shock 
of this draws one up short. as is intend- 
ed: but at the same time. it gives vise to 
a dreadful thought: Could (would?) Mr. 
g that we are all, at 
nd that their particu 


say й?—шап self? One hopes not. 
‘True, the family is worse than everyone. 
elses family degree only, but the 
book just will not support any such 
grand. extensions. better to view it 
simply as a shrewd, gentle, bittersweet, 
ic slice of Ше, with many telling 
points to make about us all. 

e sort-of-hero of Kingsley Amis 
1 Want It Now (Harcourt, Brace & World), 
Ronnie Appleyard, is a TV programmer 


on the crest of youthfully making it 
nd money with a giant helping 
is what he id by a bril- 
liant deployment of “si he is hap- 


pily getting plenty of Then he 
meets Simon, à 26-year-old nymphet of 
bizarre charm and frozen heart. Her 
mother is Lady Baldock. prime villainess 
among a choice selection of nastics, who 
satisfies her real feeling for her daughter 
which is hatred—by supplying her 
with a string of unpleasant, even loath- 
some, lovers. Ronnie follows his mistress 
and her entourage from London to ап 
isle in Greece to Negro-baiting Dixie and 
back to London—experiencing. analyz- 
nd eschewing the foibles of the very 
g gradually that a sour 
sweet со: or his 
lusting after Simon's money gives way to 
the more human pursuit of t ng her 
he; The И of the tide, the reader 


discovers, doesn't really mean sex 
means what the Baldocks 
tole 


nd their ilk 
nce, fair play and de- 
з, Amis displays a sharp- 
ness of perception and a certainty of aim 
that call to mind other masters of the 

of making us laugh long and deep, like 


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MOVIES 


Jeanne Morcau's chemistry, combined 
with the unpredictable brilliance of 
writer-director Orson Welles, graces The 
Immortal Story, the bewitching better Е 
of a double bill of two shorter-than- 
average films (the other one is reviewed 
below). Welles’ meticulous adaptation in 
English of exotic tale by Denmark's 
late great Isak Dinesen is a Wellesian 
triumph of old-fashioned cinematic story- 
telling. “In China, at the end of the last 
century,” begins Welles the storyteller, 
who also generously fills the pivotal role 
of a strange old million: with an even 
stranger obsession. He has heard the 
he ilors’ tale of being picked up in 
a faraway port by a rich, impotent mer- 
chant, then being wined, dined and paid 
in gold for bedding the merchant's beau- 
tiful young wile: and the wheezing 
eccentric wants to make the story come 
true, whatever the cost. Welles has the 
audacity to reveal the middle and end of 
Dinesen's story at the outset. Thus hay- 
ing scorned any conventional tricks of 
suspense, he creates а film full of uncom: 
mon f ation—subtle in mood, rich, 
evocative, blindingly beautiful and al- 
ways alive, as the narrator says of the old 
$ disquieting Jewish derk (Roger 
ggio), with “things that move like big 
deep-water fish in the depths of his dark 
" Moreau plays the disillusioned 
girl hired for the evening's charade; Nor- 
man Ashley, the fortunate blond sailor 
in her bed. The acting throughout is 
flawles, as is everything else on this 
unique and compelling occasion. 

Less can be said for the film's compan- 
ion piece, Simon of the Desert, a 45-minute 
orgy of sin, symbolism and antiChrist 
imagery by the formidable Luis (Belle 
de Jour) Buñuel, who seems pretty up 
ht about getting his message across 
hout any frills that might be mistaken 
for entertainment. Though drawn fron 
the saga of Simon, one of the ascetic 
“pillar saints” of centuries ago, who 
spent some 68 years resisting temptation 
in his acrie atop a series of high stone 
columns, Bunucls irreverent catechism 
seldom gets olf the ground. Simon the 
wretched (Claudio — Brook)—endlessly 
mocked, taunted and tempted by bare- 
breasted manifestations of his own pri- 
vate devil—is at last lured away to a 
so-called Black Mass. We are sorry to 
report that Buiuel’s climactic, perhaps 
facetious, metaphor for transcendent evil 
transports the holy man and his shapely 
nemesis (via a 20th Century jet, by gol- 
ly) to a Manhat discotheque filled 
with dancers in full cry. 

The trouble with making sci-fi movies 
from the books of Ray Bradbury is that 


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PLAYBOY 


42 


the screenplays are usually written by 
people less perceptive. In Rays cele- 
Lrated The Mustrated Men, the tale spinner 
‘ounters a stranger whose body is 
covered with remarkable tattooing; and 
the tattoos yield 18 separate stories unit- 
ed only by a common vision of fallible 
nkind groping its way through a tech- 
al wonder world to come. The 
conjured up Әу writer-producer 
Howard B. Kreitsek seeks to mystify 
where Bradbury clarified, and thc results 
pretty messy. Kreitsek has Rod Stei- 
beautifully decorated from stem. to 
stern in a kind of anatomic art nouveau, 
but he sheds his scenery ro play hero in 
a trio of the book's tales—chosen ent 

ly at random, as far as we can tell. One 
deals with two tykes who sacrifice their 
ents to a pack of lions іп a wish- 
fulfilling [utu another, 
with members ol 


y the last, with a 
g to face the end of the 


mily prey 


world. In striving to link the episodes, 
Kreitsek hints at a spooky but inscruta- 
ble pr mong the illus- 


са man, the time leaping tattoo artist 
ге Bloom, otherwise known as Mrs. 
Steiger) whom he vows to kill and a 
youthful vagrant (Robert Drivas) who 
becomes his reluctant confidant. Thus 
propelled into a Geld of unidentified 
flying fiction, the actors do what they 
ke sense of their several as: 
nd Stciger's rockslide energy 
often st ев cool, 
self-possessed b п Drivas’ solid 
yal of a character as insubstanti: 
as à shadow. Sad to sav, though, the 
ysteries they evoke with the muddled 
help of director Jack Smight are only 
conundrums that exploit Bradbury and 
body painting but finally say almost 
nothing at all 


to 
signments: 


Bringing The Prime of Miss Joan Brodie 
mixed 


to life on the screen proves a 
blessing for Maggie Smith, a 
comedienne who captures 
humor and p: 


issues of a 
triumph for Var Redgrave 
de Zoe Caldwell a Broadway star. But 
the fault lies less with Maggie than with 
director kl Neame, for his slick 

as removed the fangs 
c of Muriel Spark's novel 
nd screen by 


spinster-teacher, raising all kinds of hell 
staid Scottish girls’ school during 
the early Thirties, The Brodie girls—all 
nurtured by her own q romantic 
fancies—tend to view Renaissance art as 
а backdrop for Miss Brodic’s presumably 
reckless holiday in Italy: and the history 
of World War One serves merely as an 
introduction to a long-lost love named 
Hugh, who “fell like an autumn leaf" on 
Flanders Field. She endures a dull affair 


with a bachelor in 
ment, but subtly encourages two impre- 
sionable girls to take her place in the 


* instructor 
Smith's of- 


bed of a lusty, 
(Robert Steph 
screen husband). 


married 


ng ch: port it 
Miss Brodie where she started, as 

silly emancipated spinster who meant 
well and deemphasizes her ultimate 
ence as а near monster—a vain, 
neurotic but indomi mchair fas- 


cist who calls Mussolini a great man and 
ships one of her stuttering schoolgirls ой 
to die in Spain for Franco. Perhaps the 


original Miss Brodie seemed much too 
severe to the moviemakers. Evidently, 
they preferred to send the audience 


home smiling instead of swallowing the 
Jumps in their throats. 

Maximilian Schell 
Castle and financed it mostly with his 
own money. In this version of Kalka's 
unfinished novel. 


coproduced 


turn. Messages are exc 
made and broke: 
hostile town 
plight, of cour 
gory: He becomes 
mplacable state authority, Eve 
subject to д ble God. Uir- 
happily. there 
ka's mordant humor or felicity of style 
п this philosophical Schell game. Though 
the star backs his investment wi 
adequate monochromatic perform 
idapier«director Rudolf Noclte has u 
formed the tale into а so; 
all brown, blucgray 
held to such a soporific pace that a scene 
in which Schell merely sits down on a 
bed because he's tired of standing be- 
comes a dramatic highlight. The Castle 
is dubbed; and dubbing, ev when 
reasonably well done, widens the psy- 
chological moat between audience and 
play. Only in The Trial, filmed by Orson 
Welles, has the camera thus far found 
a feasible way into the world of Kalk; 
A young heiress (Pamela Franklin) is 
kidnaped as The Night of the Following Doy 
begins, and it soon becomes dear that 
wi producer-director Hubert Cornfield 
has something in mind quite apart from 
the common run of thriller, Briefly put, 
his experiment aims to study the psy 
chopathology of the crim 
bothering 
thei in why he 
was able to enlist Marlon Brando and 
Richard Boone to portray а couple of 
crooks afflicted with hypertension. Both 
ve by any 

standard—Brando mouthing hip jargon 
under а long blond wig. Boone cooing 


he 


are oddly cest but distinct 


gentle reass 
his taste for sadism. 
the characters 


ances that never quite m 
Though most of 
are without given names 
(a due, no doubt, to the films deep 
intentions). partial anonymity doen't 
handicap Rita Moreno. who delive 
woundingly true performance as a 
line stewardess hung up on drugs and 
Brando. Following Day is weak as melo 
drama—teisurely, introspective and all 
but wrecked by a preposterous climax in 
which the author tries to wrap up a host 
of inconsistencies by suggesting that some- 
may have dreamed the whole thing. 
Not bloody likely. But all that splashy 


talent Кез this bold failure more in- 
teresting to watch than many formula 
successes, 

Boby Love is the story of a successful 


London doctor who creates havoc by 
bringing home the predatory teenaged 
daughter of a strumpet he knew in his 
youth, Since the child doesn’t belong to 
him, and since he is a shallow social 
dimber, his charitable response to her 
mother’s suicide serves mostly as а con- 
venient twist of plot. Freshman director 
Alastair Reid. making his feature-film 
hout a single big-name star to 
у. shows flashes of precocity 
suggest talent worthy of a much 

ipt. Meanwhile, he docs well 
series of ишу 
ions, as the gil (15- 
Linda Hayden, persuasively playi 
nastiest, nymphet this side of Lolita) 
begins to scratch the varnish oll her 
welbbred benefactors. She excites the 
doctor's interest ав cunningly as she са 
teases his stripling son into a fit of 
hypertension and strikes а rich. vein of 
Lesbianism the doctors neglected 
wile; her leisure hours are enlivened by 
potheads, would-be карім and theater 


debut м 
light the 
that 


mashers. АП this graphic hanky-panky— 
g 


self-consciously depicted as the act 
out of repressed infantile pleasures—i 
apparently intended to validae Baby 
Love's credentials as а serious film. Sure. 

Greater Los Angeles inspires love at 
first sight in France's Jacques (The Um- 
brellas of Cherbourg) Demy, а director 
whose films invariably seem to be the 
tua a 
aphy 
rentagirl c 


ch gec 
Model Shop refers 10 


studio in 1. A. where y Lockwood, as 
a disalfected young architect anticipating 
bad news from his draft board, hires a 


twinlens reflex to snap some art poses of 
Anouk Aimée. as a tired French divorcée 
who has just about had it in the States. 
Demy's tolerant view of the West Cc 
car culture results in a bright and swingy 
paean to romance on wheels. The film 
also makes a bizare visual metaphor of 
the pad Lockwood shares with his some- 
time mistress (Alexandra. seedy 
Dut sunlit shack situated next to a 
perpetually sucking oil pump and shaded 


sts 


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PLAYBOY 


44 


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only by the wings of arriving and depart- 
ing jet liners. The dialog supplied by 
writer-producerdirector Demy sounds 
literal translation from the author's 
basic English-French phrase book. Which 
may explain such philosophica 
wanted to bı 
ing possession 
stroy.” "The script is an embarrassment 
to put it kindly, and the actors throw 
away lines as though it's just something 
for them to do while waiting to have 
their gas and oil checked. 


When a team of independent young 


dience can guess that the preoccupations 
of contemporary youth are about to be 
recataloged. Greetings begins touching 


Ше usual bases, from the antid| 
screw-the-Army sentiments mocked in its 
tile to the ritual gags about computer 
dating, pop art, political assassinations 
and pornography. Though the amateur 
performers are mostly atrocious and the 
Gamerawork resembles a student direc 
tors homage to 4 Hard Day's Night, 
many of the ideas half developed by 
Hirsch and De Palma show a smoldering 
talent for satire. Greetings’ ribbing of 
the Warren Report is a drag, but there 
ire several freshly funny episodes about 
three mockheroic draft dodgers. The 
brightest of the lot (Robert De Niro) 
creates his own. v m of pop art, or 
peep art, an environmental study of sorts 
that involves persuading gullible birds to 
share their pristine “private moments” 
with him and his camera, The experi- 
ment is more amusing than it sounds, 
р ly when the U. S. Army—undis- 
mayed by evidence of psychopathy—al- 
lows him to continue his basic research 
jong the scrutable girls of the Viet 
Cong. 


The woman is a busy. beautiful doc 
tor. bored with her work, her life and 
her lover. The boy is her wealthy 
brother's adolescent son, a cunning sadist 


ge the world from his whe 
When two such characters are i 
troduced under the ironic title Grexie, Zia 
(Thank You, Auntie), one anticipates an 
steamy Italian sex drama 
ing bosoms and fe 
ely, 24 
amperi, in his precocious film debut, 
tries a good deal more than that. Con 


ndscapes where 
etches 

d. the subtle 
ed hang-ups by 
principal actors 


eroticism as a state of n 


exploitation of middle 
rebellious youth; and h 
(Sweden's Lou Castel 
a lush mantrap born to elicit lon; 
low whistles on the Via Veneto) mak 
the way of all flesh look unnervingly 


inevitable. "Don't you want to drink 
Coca-Cola? Don't you want a Ford in 
your future?" snéers the boy, while 
с broods over the fact that her 
amour of long standing 
a stolid bourgeois cipher. 
Made on a minuscule budget of $78,000, 
a has some rough edges, but its pas de 
deux of malicious childish gamesman- 
ship, with a deadly bout of eut a 
on tap for the chilling climax, is always 
intelligent. 


“Your body is like a violin in a velvet 
case,” whispers Alain Delon, while help- 
ing tawny Marianne Faithfull out of a 
skintight leather suit by Lanvin. As The 
Gil on а Motorcycle, Ма e wers only 
her perfume under her riding clothes; 


and whenever she removes them, she is 
subjected to such questionable si 
i 


iles, 
luding several real stoppers (exam 
ple: “Your toes are like tombstones”). 
Director Jack Cardiff has an odd thing 
going here, with a bike used as a vehicle 
to introduce a sensuouslooking young 
beauty who seems to have taken smilin 
lessons from Julie Christie. Through the 
glaze of special effects, it is impossible 10 
judge Marianne’s acting ability. She 
plays a young modern of German or 
Swiss extraction, newly wedded to a doh- 
кт (ап actor named, no kid- 
Roger Mutton) and enamored of 
Delon, аз a sure-footed stud working the 
ski resorts, Delon gives her a motorbike 
for a weddir so shi 
town as the need arise 
regularly, The movie covers just 


nip—the last. fateful one, during which 
Marianne in tless fash- 
- laughing into 


ng intern 


he vill, 
ance from h 
ines devotion to her whecling dildo: 
1 her nude interludes with Delon, 
staged like art poses from Photography 
Annual, are pretty pointless, too. 


1 Ат Curious (Yellow), the controver 
Swedish film by Vilgot Sjóma 
of 491 and My Sister, My Love, has at 
last been freed for distribution, after a 
yearlong court battle with U.S. Cus- 
toms. By now. the censors have decried 
the movie's obscenity so loudly and so 
olten that a stampede to the box of 
fice appears inevitable. The first ques- 
tion is, will the paying customer with a 
“prurient interest in sex" (the Govern- 
men's legal catch phrase) be satisfied? 
Well, the answer is yes, if such interest 
embraces frequent male and female nu- 
d at least seven explicit instances 
al intercourse, not count what 

mam I! “oral-genital contact." 
Though Ше urge to make love comes 
upon the hero and heroine in the 
damnedest places—in a dusty driveway, 


For the money you spend 


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45 


Atire Atire 
forthe front forthe rear 
of the car. of the car. 


"t 
ISLEY 


V 
^ 
M. 


Because your front wheels 
do different things 
than your rear wheels do. 


Your front wheels steer the car. Your rear 
wheels push the car. 

The way we see it, having different tires 
specifically designed for both places makes 
a lot of sense. 

Which is why we at Uniroyal created a 
new tire especially for the front of the car 
and another one especially for the rear of 
the car. 

We call these tires The Uniroyal Masters: 
And now wed like to tell you a little about 
them. 

First of all, what makes our front tire so 
right for the front of your car? 

Well, to begin with, it has nine tread rows 
(count them) as opposed to the five tread 
rows that most of the tires on the road today 
have. So you always have an enormous 
amount of biting edges lihey're the litile slits 
in the tread rows! in contact with the road. 

This obviously leads to excellent steering 
control. 

Also, see how the groove between the 
last two tread rows on either side of the tire 
is straight (the rest of the grooves, youll 
notice, are kind of zigzag). This makes cor- 
nering just about as smooth as it can be 

Now for the rear tire. 

This is а wider tire than the 
front. So right off the bat, you 
have the benefit of more rubber 
on the road. 

Plus, the combination of the 
regular tread pattern and the 
deep-lug tread pattern gives 


UNIRDYAL 


you superb traction on any kind of sur- 
face: smooth, dirt, mud, even snow. 

(Although our rear tires can function as 
snow tires, theyre not noisy like snow tires. 
That's because the deep-lug tread is on the 
inside of the tire, so that the noise factor is 
dissipated underneath the car.) 

By the way, see how the biting edges 
on the tread of both tires—front and rear 
(except for the deep-lug section)—are at 
ninety-degree angles from side to side. Well, 
this results in excellent road bite when you 
hit the brakes. Even on wet roads. 

Both tires also have steel-reinforced tread 
— und u belt underneath the tread —for 
hazard protection {as well as extra mileage). 
And if, through some incredible feat of 
strength, а nail does manage to get through 
all that, theres a special liner underneath 
which will strangle the nail and cut off virtu- 
ally all air leakage. 

If you're beginning to think we haven't 
missed o trick with these tires, you're right. 
We believe that The Uniroyal Masters are the 
most advanced tires being made today. 

The funny thing is, when you think about 
it, this front-rear concept is really a very ob- 
vious idea. 

But then, aren't the best 

ideas usually the most obvious 
ones? 
For the name and address ofthe 
Uniroyal decler nearest you, just 
call 800-243-0355 free. {In 
Conn., dial 853-3600 collect.) 


The Uniroyal Masters 


from the people who brought you The Roin Tire" & Tiger Pow" 


PLAYBOY 


48 


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on a balustrade in front of Stockholm's 
royal palace, halfway up a huge tree 
identified as thc oldest in Furope, 
underwater in a lily pond—director 5 
man’s intentions arc much too crusading 
to be suspect. He is consciously commit- 
ted to spearheading a breakthrough, the 
aim of which is to depict (or at least 
simulate) sex on film with healthy lust, 
| humor and spontaneity as ап honest 
ternative to what he calls “all this fuss 
with sheets" His success on that score 
| can be measured by the storm of protest 
| Curious has aroused; but the movie is 
| not. primarily concerned. with sex, and 
often makes the action look sad and 
desperate, rather than erotic, The way- 
wardness of Sjóman's lusting couple 
finally leads them, in fact, to a state 
medical clinic, where romance withers as 
they suffer the сше for a suspicious 
that turns out to be nonvenereal. Graph- 
ic as it is, the scene at the clinic points 
| up the deeper concerns of Sjöman, а 
| former assistant to Ingmar Bergman and 
a man with many long dark thoughts of 

his own about the quality of life in 
| socialist Sweden. The parenthetical Yel- 
| low of the title conveys a wry half salute 
| 
| 


ТІ 


to the Swedish flag, with mare to come 
in Z Am Curious (Шис), a companion 
film still awaiting export. Sjóman's hero- 
ine (Lena Nyman, alo the mudh- 
handled heroine of 491) is hardly a sex 
goddess bur, rather, a plump, potato- 
shaped rebel whose romantic illusions 
trip her up in both public and private 
alfairs. She's not sure wh 


t she believes 
in or where she’s at, so she drifts around 
Stockholm, picketing embassies, inter- 
iewing passers-by and politicians about 
п, class barriers, birth control and 
Franco Spain. Meanwhile, she gives hei 
self to a horny young auto salesman 
(Börje Ahlstedt), her 24th lover, with 
whom she hopes to make order out of 
chaos—until she discovers he is a faith 
less stud. Highly moral in its attitude 
toward human relationships, Ciaious ha 
a great deal of style and spirit, though 
Sjöman complicates an already complex 
| theme by indulging  film-within-: 
conceits, showing off his camer 
and muttering irrelevant 1 


film 
and crew 
ides about 
reality, There is no reason to remind us 
that а fallible artist has contrived all this 
remarkable fiction. for that’s the name 
of the game, isn't it? 


RECORDINGS 


Nina Simone and Piono! (RCA) has the 
eminent songstress forgoing all outside 
assistance, but Miss Simones formidable 
alents are really all tha ed for a 
stunning session. Seems I’m Never Tired 
Lovin’ You, Nobody's Fault but Mine, 
Who Ат 1 and even the oldie / Get 
Along Without You Very Well pulsate 


ESE 


We don’t have to start from scratch each year. 


We've been moking the some bosic 
VW for so long now, you'd think we'd be 
bored with the whole thing. 

But the foctis, we're still learning. 

For no motter how perfect we think one 
year's model is, there's always on en 
neer who wants to moke it more perfect. 

You see, at the Volkswogen foctory we 
spend 100% of our time making our cor 


work better and 0% mating it look better. 

Any change is an improvement. 

And when we do moke new parts we 
try to make them fit older models. So 
there's nothing to stop a Volkswagen 
from running forever. 

(Which may explain why Volkswagens 
ore worth so much of trade-in time.) 

Starting from scratch each yeor con 


getin the way of all that. 

Just when they've ironed out the kinks 
in the current model, they have to face 
the kinks in the next. 

We'll never understand all the hoopla 
over the "big chonges" for 
next year's model: 

Weren't they proud of this 
year's? 


PLAYBOY 


50 


Bold new 
Brut for men. 


By Fabergé. 


If you have 
any doubts 
about yourself, 
try something else. 


For after shave, after shower, 
after anything! Brut, 


with the highly personal intonation and 
raw emotion that mark a Simone per- 
formance. 

The soft electric sound of Spi is 
heard to good advantage on The Family 
That Plays Together (Ode; also available 
on stereo tape). The California quintet 
eflectively combines elements of jazz, rock 
and baroque on Jt Shall Be and Dream 
Within a Dream; Silky Sam gets into 
some Debussy-ish harmonies, and Jewish 
is the first recorded instance, to our 
knowledge, of rock music sung in Hebrew. 

Challenging and varied vehicles, plus 
articulate vocal arrangements, pay off 
for Spanky & Our Gang on Anything You 
Choose / Without Rhyme or Reason (Mer- 
cury; also available on stereo tape). 
Spanky takes the lead on Yesterday's 
Rain and the stomping Mecca Flat 
Blues, which is enhanced by Little 
Brother Montgomery's New Orleans 
o. The whimsical 7-3-5-8 and the 
socially oriented Give a Damn brilliantly 
display the group's contrapuntal and 
homophonic «kills. 


Archie Shepp shows, on The Way 
Ahecd (Impulse!), that he's getting him- 
self together, without losing any of his 
eral urgency. The — polyrhythmic 
Frankenstein is a confusing venture, but 
Sophisticated Lady is a technical tour de 
force for Shepp (who, at times, sounds 
very much like Ben Webster; and 
Damn If I Know (The Stroller) indi- 
cates that the роз es inherent in 
the 12-bar blues, even for the most fu- 
turistic of musicians, are far from ex: 
usted. 


We have long considered the Staple 
Singers the best there is in the soul- 
Gospel bag and Soul Folk in Action (Stax) 
firmly bolsters our conviction. "The 
ples haven't got a false note in their 
collective body. Even the intrusion of 
lackluster orchestrations cluttering up 
the background can't. diminish their ac 
complishments—We've Got to Get Our- 
selues Together, Top of the Mountain, 
Got to Be Some Changes Made are su- 
perb and the other eight songs on the LP 
are not far behind. 


Pierre Boulez is the very model of a 
modern orchestra. conductor—rigorously 
precise, tautly objective, wholly commit- 
ted to the music of his own century. 
These qualities pay off handsomely in 
Béla Bartok’s Music for Strings, Percus 
end Celeste. (Columbia). At first, Boulez’ 
deliberate approach шау seem too tame, 
but the tensions build inexorably as his 
supercontrolled reading gathers momen- 
tum, and the end effect is shatteringly 
powerful, On side two, the meticulous 
Boulez talents are applied to a rousing 


rendition of Stravinsky's original Fire- 
bird Suite. In both works, the BBC 5уш- 
phony Orchestra collaborates. 

Blood, Sweat and Tears (Columbia; also 
available on stereo tape)—which opens 

d closes with variations on a theme by 
Satic—establishes the rock- 
supergroup. Between the sorties into. 
tic are some engaging рор ids 
(Sometimes in Winter) and some robust 
rhythi xLblues cfforts led by ger 
Da yton-Thomas. Dick Halligan's 
organwork and Fred Lipsius alto-saxo- 
phonics make Blues—Part 1I а memora- 
ble experience. 


In this age of electronically tricked-up 
vocalise, it's always a pleasure to dig the 
htforward and stylish sound ol 
Cormé, There are mo frills or 
fancy stuff on Eydie (RCA; also avail- 
able on stereo tape), just beautiful tunes 
(By the Time I Get to Phoenix, It Had 
to Be You, What Ат 1 Doing Here, 
This Girl's in Love with You), class 
ngements by Peter Matz, Marty Man 
ning and Pat Williams, and the Gorme 
pipes pitched to perfection. 

On For Once in My Life (Columbia; 
also available on stereo tape), O. C. 
Smith proves that а jazz singer can some- 
times profit artistically by going pop. 
With his controlled baritone enhanced 
by Н. B. Barnum’s charts, Smith wails on 
such worthy vehicles as Stormy, Sounds 
of Goodbye, Isn't It Lonely Together 
and the title tune. In fact, there's no 
point in picking out examples; every 
track is a gas. 


Booker T. makes his 
debut on the score from U; 
and that's just one highlight of a thor- 
oughly satisfying soul session. Fhe 
sounds range from straight-ahead rock 
(Run Tank Run) to authentic Gospel 
(Children, Don't Get Weary, sung by 
Judy Clay) to the mournful Blues in the 
Gutter. Two surprising entries arc Dead- 
wood Dick, a whimsical waltz, and 
Tank's Lament, dclincated by Booker Т. 
alone, on organ and piano. 


the flying orchestra, has 
another. fas psule, Autumn 
(Columbia). This goround, Ellis turns 
back in timc on Scrait and Fluges (a 
banjo-pickin’ hoedown), the Thirties-ish 
C. Blues and the funky-Gospel Pussy 
іше Stomp. all of which are done to 
tive turn by the most exci 


Four sides of Bob Dylan's composi- 
tions, performed by Joan Baez with some 
of Nashville's best, sounds like a collec 
tor’s dream. However, Any Day Now (Van 
also available on stereo tape) is 


guard; 


beset with problems. One is that Dylan's 
overlong ditties are often musically vapid 
Шу obscure; another is that 
ivery, while clear and uplifting 
often at odds with the groove 
set down by her accompanists. The 16- 
song set, while consistently unexciting, 
will still be a must for Dylan or Baez 
fanatics. 


A black country-and-western маг 
seems gimmicky, indeed, but Charley 
Pride's music is right from thc heart, 
as he demonstrates on Charley Pride in 
Person (RCA; also available on stereo 
tape). Punctuating his ballads of loves 
Jost or hoped for with some forthright 
bamer, Charley delights his Fort Worth 
audience with a program of rural classi 
such as Lovesick Blucs, Kaw-Liga and 
Streets of Baltimore. 

The fine vibist Roy Ayers has himself 
a winner in Stened Soul Picnic (Atlanti 
also ble on stereo tape). He's gat 


ered about him a crew of superlative 
peter 
rts), 


sidemen—altoist Gary Bartz, t 
Charles Tolliver (who did the ch 
flutist Hubert Laws, pianist Herbi 
cock and drummer Grady Tate, 
Ron Carter and Miroslav Vitous shar 
the bass chores. In additi 
ode, there arc the moving Wave by An- 
los Jobim, For Once in My Life 
ral originals by Ayers and Tol- 
^r. The group can be funky or cere- 
Vial, dependi 
way. they're a joy to the ear, especially 
Ayers’ malletwork and Laws’ fluting. 


THEATER 


Elaine May is alive and well and off- 
Broadway. She has directed two one-act 
plays, Adaprotion by herself and Next by 
ice McNally. Both bear her lunatic 


hops and bounces through encounters, 
problems and. puzzles in search of secu- 
rity. The format enables Miss May 10 
comment with wit and insight on con- 
temporary clichés, drives, goals and 
hang-ups. She is very much up to her 
times, whether she’s talking about men, 
women (mosi of whom sound like her in 
hols and May routine), children, 

st children are activists, most. 


white relations (a lib 
out of a mecting for 
Amcrican brother аз Blackie). Adaptation 
is the key to success, which makes it 
the contestant realizes, "a hard 
‘The play's a winner. Credit М 
and actor James Сосо for what's best 
about Next. McNally writes whatif 
plays. This time, he poses two hypoth- 
езе What if а 48-year-old sissy were 
drafted, and what if the sergeant giving 
him his medical once-over were а 


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51 


PLAYBOY 


woman? In the evenings best perform- 
ance, the flabby, fleshy Coco is marvelous 


= | as he tries all possible maneuvers to 
АСТ avoi ig off his clothes and to flunk 
(he even tries to flunk the 
eyechart and word-association tests): 
when he fails to fail. he dissolves into а 
quivering mass of jelly. Then McNally 
attempts to turn his little comedy into 
something important: Of course, the 
Army doesn’t want him, and Сосо sud- 
denly is furious. He demands retribu- 
оп. The play falls apart. By not taking 
itself so seriously, Miss May's play makes 
a much more g statement. At the 
Greenwich Mews, 141 West 13th Street. 


Geese is the show that may kill the 
Theater of the Nude. Actors, put your 
clothes on! Theatergcers, run for cover! 
Everybody connected with this play, get 
lost! It is a completely crass, shoddy, 
shabby, meretricious (choose any three) 
ріссе of claptrap, with no redeeming 
value even as pornography, let alone as 
art. In fact, after enduring this execrable 
excretion of Gus Weill, one longs for the 
artistry of burlesque, nudie movies, dirty 
comic books, French postcards and mud 
wrestling, all of which, in comparison. 


While: 
“It's a pity your husband doesn't have a Minolta SR-T 101. 
He could have taken that shot and been back in the tree by now.” 
te 


You can catch your shot in time to catch the game with 


52 


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Inbetweenwear 


om 
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Charge them on 

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And it has its own through the lens meter. The Minolta SR-T 101 


are the soul of sophistication, the epitome 
of wit, the height of theatricality and the 
acme of titillation. In the first of Weill's 
act plays (which are related only 
in their abject banality), while a dreary 

xchange sappy lines 
ry of their marriage (“The 
great python of our beginning became a 
fishing worm"), their drippy postadoles 
cent son, Little Bill, swings gay in his 
upstairs bedroom. In a series of creepy. 
рееру blackouts, he and his friend shuck 
their jeans, drop each other's drawers 
and confess undying love for each other 
п the soggiest, most purply sentimental 
dialog imaginable. For the second play, 
Mommy and Daddy spar upstairs while 
daughter and dyke strip in the li 
room—only to the waist, since this 
basically a swishy stag show—and hug 
each other a lot. Daddy bumbles in. 
wagglcs a finger maniacally and intones, 
“Perversity!” The ter is played by 
an actress who calls herself Ma Anto: 
isn't a pseudonym, it should 
tire cast, clothed and ed, 
is strictly amateur night, which means 
about on the level of the direct- 
ing and the writing, This tacky, tawdry, 
abysmal, vacuous (choose three more) 
production has the gall to advertise 
“Come and see love. " Call the Better 
Business Bureau and duck Geese at all 
costs. At the Players, 115 MacDougal 
Suet. 


If nudity is threatened by Geese, Сеп 
terbury Toles proves that ribaldry із dead— 
at least when it's left in the hands of 
Oxford dons. СІ an scholar Nev 
ill Coghill has attempted to pay homage 


10 his favorite storyteller, and has quite 
Canterburied him. Can Chaucer really 
be this dull, this devoid. of wit (unless 
one has а taste for Matulence as a sub- 
ject for humor)? Сап the Wife of Bath 
led bore? Coghill 
has given Chaucer a singsongy t 
tion. then attempted to soup up the old 
boy with rock'n'roll songs. With lyrics 
by Coghill. music by Richard Hill and 
John Hawkins, the score is both stand- 
and and superimposed. Recast, the show 
is at least livelier than it was in London, 
where the travelers slogged from tale to 
tale. Bruce Hyde is self mocking 
al of the insistent young men 
Rose is joyously clownish as a dirty old 
man: and Sandy 1 delightful as 
most of the dirty уош іс is full 
of s ss and style—both of which ате 
conspicuous by their absence from thc 
тем of the show. At the Eugene O'Neill, 
230 West 49th Strect. 


be such а long-wii 


nsla- 


аз sevi 


George 


ncan 


Gambler. fighter, swaggerer, soldier of 
fort sex symbol. sensualist. one of 
the world’s great lovers, Woody Allen 


has made а career out of fantasizing 
about worlds he can't conquer and girls 
he can't topple. In Play ІН Again, Sam, he 
expands his put-upon puton into a pl 
—well, not so much а play as а monolog 
with walkons; but ifs one hell of a 
monolog. For his Broadway acting debut 
Allen calls himself Allan Felix (а code 
name for Woody the pussy 
about cinema for an obscure movie jour 
nal and a notorious nonlover. When his 
wife ditches him, he surveys the prospect 
of interminable celibacy and realizes, 
“When I was in practice, I was out of 
practice.” He lets his best friend, Antho- 
ny Roberts, and his best friend's wife, 
Diane Keaton, lix him up. To guide him 
through the pitfalls of romance, he con 
jures up an imaginary fiend, Humphrey 
Bogart, who strolls across the stage like 
а lisping fugitive hom the late show 
(‘Lithen, thweetheart")—a very amus 
ing conception. Even with such high- 
powered help, Woody stumbles and 
fumbles. He knocks over coffee tables, 
faints when he should feint. Longingly 
he dreams about seductions that might 
have been; and since he wote this play 
for himself, he gets to act out some of 
them with an assortment of succulent 
young actreses (think of those audi 
tions). Finally, egged on by Bogey, he 
nd’s wile while 
the friend is in Cleveland, When Roberts 
returns, he suspects am affair but not 
buddy Woody as the cuckolder. “I've 
lected her,” he confesses to Woody, 
and now shes involved with some 
stud.” Woody bursts into ccstasy. That 
look! That glow! This is what the play 
is all about. Woody has written three 
apcutic acts of wish fulfillment t 
you're likely to enjoy as much as he does 
At the Broadhurst, 235 West 44th Street, 
E 


1s love with the best I 
ігі 


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53 


Duncan Andrews is doing 
everything for his thinning hair. 


Everything wrong. 


First, he shampoos every other 
day or so. Drying. Uses bar soap, or 
whatever's handy. Also drying. And 
dry hair can be brittle. Breakable. 
(And the more his hair breaks, the 
less he's got.) 

And thar's only the beginning. 
Because all that shampooing makes 
hair uncooperative, Duncan uses a 
grooming agent. A good one, sure. 
One that keeps his hair from danc- 
ing all over his head. By squashing 
it. Making it look even thinner. Be- 
sides, it only glosses over the dry- 
ness problem, and makes hair dirty 
all over again. So, back to another 
drying shampoo. 

What's a man to do? Here's 
what. Shampoo once a weck. 

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PLAYBOY 


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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


И have always believed that women feet 
the actual flow of semen at the moment 
of male ejaculation. My girl denies this. 
She claims this notion is a fantasy-wish 
projection, which I probably picked up 
from pornography. She says that in the 
warmth, wetness and exci 
own sexual fervor, the spurt of fluid is 
ng. Is she unusuali— 
mbridge, Massachusetts, 

According to Masters and Johnson, she 
is not unusual, and her description is 
accurate. 


ement of her 


AAS an American of Dutch descent, I'm 
curious why my forebears get short shrift 
with expressions such Dutch” 
nd “Dutch treat."—L. 
Indiana. 

In their "Dictionary of Word and 
Phrase Origins," etymologists William 
and Mary Morris state that until well 
after Shakespeare's time, British authors 
displayed high regard Jor the Dutch in 
their literary references. However, dur- 
ing the 17th Century, England and Hol- 
land became rivals in commerce and 
colonial expansion. Admiration turned 
into opprobrium, and disrespectful rej- 
erences (such as those depicting the Dutch 
as penny pinchers) were launched and 
have persisted 10 this day. 


M. һу opinion, some beers labeled 
are temible in taste. Just 
is a premium beer and are 
there any special requirements for so la- 
belir ‘J W., Houghton, Michigan. 

A premium beer is one that heads the 
list of brews made by a specific compa- 
пу. Since it’s their opinion against yours, 
one man's premium beer is anothers 
dud suds. 


Suddenly, the wonderful gil I've been 
big problem, She 
says she feels we are becoming 100 seri- 
ous and thinks we should stop seeing 
cach other. Her reason is that the last 
guy she became involved with stopped 
dating ber abruptly and she was enor 
mously hurt. I really enjoy being with 
this girl and I am not going to let her 
get away. What can I say or do to d 
her mind?—B. A.. Columl 

Point out that if she stops scing you 
because she is afraid you will stop seeing 
her, she'll have created a self-fulfilling 
Prophecy, producing precisely what she 
Claims to fear. If she still indicates that 
she really doos want what sho says she 
does not want, then her peculiar hang- 
up is designed to exclude you under any 


circumstance; so you'd be better off not 
wasting too much time over her. Look 
around. 


Oc as 


-month period, my girl has 
been responding to me with increasing 
passion. She's a voluptuous beauty and 
really seems to get involved when мет 
alone; but whenever my hand ncars the 

aed" area, she gently removes 
This stops me, because on a few occ 
sions, I thought she was re 
on. Which should 1 dot 
sex and its importance to love, 
anything and keep trying, or just cool 
it lor a while? Е. G., Harrisburg, Penn- 
sylvania. 

Try to increase your understanding of 
her feelings about sex and (сис. while 
letting her know yours, too. If you 
haven't discussed this in six months, you 
certainly ought to begin, It is tremen- 
dously important to develop a sense of 
shared direction in lovemaking, so that 
you are both moving aloug the same 
track. Once you and your girl are able 
to express yourselves in a mutually satis- 
factory way, perhaps you can eliminate 
the local stops. 


How co you keep a steel tennis racket 
in good condition? Does it require a press, 
as the wooden ones do?—A. M., Ki 
City. Missouri. 

No special care is required nor is a 
press nceded. Be sure, however, that your 
racket remains tightly strung. Should it 
begin to loosen, return it to the manu- 
facturer for а restringing job. 


А friend of mine 


told her that having 
shorten her life. Is thi 
Seatle, Washington 
What your friend's doctor likely had 
in mind were abortions performed un 
der furtive and unsanitary conditions by 
quack practitioners. Such operations 
sometimes shorten lives to the extent of 
ending them abrupily. However, an abor- 
tion conducted under proper conditions, 
by a licensed surgeon, is а relatively 
simple operation and should have по 
long-term efjects оп а woman's. health. 
There are, of course, complications that 
сап occur with any surgical process. 


паз 


ys that her doctor 
п abortion could 
true?—M М.Р. 


How should 1 refer to my wife when 


ordering for her in a restaurant? “She 
will have 


sounds rather curt and ir 
while “My wife will have . . 
y.—R. C., Syracuse, New York. 
Since your wife is presumably a lady, 


If your wife 

says she 

doesn't go 

for the great 
autumn day 
aroma of 

Field & Stream... 


= 
| Field 


Ex 


Stre amj 


send 
her 
home to 


Mother. 


A quality prodictot Philip Morris U.S.A 


57 


PLAYBOY 


58 


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Set the E.T.I. (elapsed time indi- 
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we suggest yon say, “The lady will have 

. 2 or "For the lady... 7 The same 
holds true, of course, if the lady isn’t 
your wife. 


A few years ago, The Playboy Advisor 
stated that Spanish fly was a dangerous 
drug and did not recommend its use, 
Now I've received a pamphlet and a 
mailorder form from a firm outside of 
the They claim that as a result of 
clinical research, they've developed а 
Spanish-Hly serum that is both safe and 
effective. Have you heard about this, 
and do you agree that it can be used 
without any harmful eflectse—L. W., 
Portland, Maine. 

In February 1965, we quoted from 
“Aphrodisiacs,” by Alan Hull. Walton: 
Spanish fly's “sexually exciting effects 
are merely an accidental result of its 
action in causing inflammation of the 
Genitourinary passage, and it is both an 
uncertain and a dangerous result, except 
іп skillful hands.” We've shown the 
pamphlet you mention to medical ex- 
perts, who reject its claims of safety 
and maintain that Spanish fly in any 
shape or form is dangerous. The use of 
cantharides—and ils devivatives—may te- 
sult im vomiting. purging, abdominal 
pain, shock and even death 


Ы. been told thar the reason for the 
dentation at the base of a wine bottle 
to strengthen it. I was under the 
impression that the function of the in- 
dentation was to trap sediment. What's 
your opinion?—P. H., Ottawa, Ontario. 
Both theories are correct. According to 
the Wine Institute, the pushed-up bot- 
tom fast appeared in champagne bottles 
to make them less subject to a blowup 
by the bubbly. The indentation also helps 
collect sediment deposited by some des- 
sert wines, although those produced in 
the U.S. are generally sediment free, 
since they are clarified and stabilized. 


[| don't like the way my boyfriend kisses 
It's gotten so that I dread his taking 
me home, because I know he will kiss 
me, and his technique puts me off just 
thinking about it. I don’t want to stop 
dating him, so what should I do?—Miss 
K. R., Tulsa, Oklahoma 

Next time, beat him to the draw; kiss 
him first and show him what you want. 
If he doesn’t pick mp your pointers 
quickly, talk to him, not in terms of his 
lack of ability but in terms of the pleas- 
ure of hissing as you see it 


ММ... been on a karate kick at my 
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the highest rank in the sport is the 


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who can dig it. Hang Ten can 
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n champion, 
Paull, wears 
the foot shirt, 36, 
J and beach trunks, $8. 


Hang-Ten 
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red belt, while others insist it’s the 
black belt. Who wins?—R. L, Galien, 
Michigan. 

It’s a draw, Ranking systems vary 
with the school and the style of karate. 
For most purposes, the black belt is con- 
sidered the smashing lop. However, for 
ceremonial occasions 


such as contests, 
examinations and promotions, red belts 
gamer the kudos. 


Shyness is not a paralyzing problem 
Tor me; I can make passes and approach 
strange girls without undue trepidation. 
Bur I do feel a bit uncomfortable. 
Friends try to reassure me by tell 
it’s natural, even desirable, to feel 
ious when starting someth 
somebody: if 1 went about it wilh m: 
chinelike саш, they say, 1 
know 1 was alive, I agree bur am look- 
ing for reassurance than my 
friends can provide. Docs rrAvnov feel 
they're on the right track?—H. I. Cas- 
per. Wyoni 
We do, opinion is sub- 
slantiated by psychologist Rollo May's 
explanation (in “Psychology and the Ни- 
man Dilemma") thal a certam healthy. 
“Granted that 
shyness сап be pretty painful (surely neu- 
rolic shyness should be gotten over) and 
that everyone no doubt feels himself too 
shy, yet is it so good that normal shyness 
should be entirely erased? Is nol shynes 
the growing edge of new relationship? 
Ind 
constructive function, to be sure possibly 
painful om oue side, but земні and 
exhilarating ou the other. of opening up 
arcas of experience? Indeed, is not 
shyness in its normal degree the most 
personal of all emotions? 1 for one 
wauld be very dubious about the pleas 
ure of spending many evenings in circles 
where no one was euer shy. 


g new with 


wouldn't 


more 


and their 


shyness has greet. value: “ 


ges shyness nol have ils 


пе 


V plan to enter college and would like 
to apply for a student loan. 1 believe T 
read abou nd 
has a low interest rate, w 
ment not due until some ycars after 
graduation. Could you tell me more 
about й#—М. D., Great Falls, Montan: 
You're probably referring to the Na- 
tional Defense Student Loan 
carried on a simple thice-percent interest 
rate. Payments can be spread over a len- 
year period. and the first one does not 
become due until a full year after grad- 
nation. Furthermore, payments may be 
deferred during any period in which you 
take at least one halj the normal full- 
lime academic work load at a college or 
university. Also, 10 percent of the loan 
(up to a total of 50 percent) is deduct- 
ed for each усаг of teaching in a public 


one that is long term 
th the first pay- 


which is 


institution. This means that if you teach 
for as long as five years, you will have lo 
repay only half of Ше loan. Your school 
undoubtedly has a department that han. 
dles loans and. scholarships and. should 
be able 10 give you additional informa 
tion and the forms you'll need. 


Wil, roommate claims that syphilis 
started in ancient Egypt and spread 
through the Mediterranean region in 
medieval times. I believe. however, that 
it arose in the Western Hemisphere 
was spread ло Europe. Africa and Asia 
by European explorers. Who's right@— 
R. B.. Huntington, West Virgin 

You are. According to б. Rattray Тау. 
lors "Sex іп History”: "Some of the 
credit for the decline of the ше of 
brothels must be given . . . lo the arrival 
in Europe of syphilis, brought back 
from Haiti to Portugal by Columbus’ 
sailors in 1494. The new disease spread 
ever Europe with rapidity, 
reaching France. Germany and Swilzer 
land in 1495, Scotland in 1497, Hungary 
and Russia in 1499—carried by the dis- 
persing armies of Charles VHI. Vasco da 
Сата" vessels took il to India іп 1498 
and it reached China іп 1505. In. 1506 
we find the Archbishop of Crete dying 
of it” 


nd 


immense 


Having end and reread every Playboy 
Advisor column since its inception, I've 
ross many letters 
dealing with women, sex and sexual rela- 
lions—the right way. the wrong 
doctors’ reports, etc. But ГИ be damned 
il I can find out how long the average 
sexual act lasts, not counting foreplay. 
break with some kind of 


come а and answers 


жау, 


Give me 

norm, will you, so TI know how Im 

doing?—L. L. Birmingham, Michigan. 
The best way to find out how 


doing is to ask the person you're doing it 
with. Kinsey did report, some time ago, 
that the average time between mounting 
and orgasm is two minutes; but research 


also indicates that the variations are so 
great among individuals that this statistic 
has a mathematical significance only and 
is of no meaningful aid іп measuring 
personal staying power. 

AIL reasonable questions—from_ fash- 
ion, food and drink, hi-fi and sports cars 
lo dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette 
will be personally answered if the 
writer includes а stamped. self-addressed 
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
Advisor. Playboy Building, 919 М. Michi 
gan Avenue, Chicago. Ilinois 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages each month. 


Celebrate 


I Ing 
with it. 

New Year’s Day. 

St. Valentine’s Day. 
Ground Hog's Day. 
St. Patrick's Day. 
Mother's Day. 
Arbor Day. . 
Father's Day. 
Graduation Day. 
Flag Day. 
Independence Day.Bastille Day. Labor 
Day.Columbus Day. Election Day. 
Thanksgiving Day.Christmas Day.Etc. 


(With JeB Rare Scotch, the 
rest of everything is up to you.) 


Cheers. Qe 


sxoous v 


DISCOVER FREEDOM. 

You're heading off on your own. 

Cross-country. Away. 

А cloud of dust boiling out your rear tire. 
Chuckholes, ditches, ruts and rocks. 

The DT-1B makes its own trail. 

250cc with 5-port power. 

And the 5-speed, all-synchromesh transmission 
doesn't let the engine lug. Or over-rev. 

The frame is extra light. Rear shocks are 
adjustable. And check the front forks. 

No springs showing. No rubber boots. 

Enduro forks. They take all the pounding you 
can give. And bounce back. 

Separate tach and speedometer. 

(The speedometer can be reset for Enduro racing.) 
Detachable lights. Spring-loaded foot pegs. 
You're running easy now. Hitting out 

across a flat. See that hill over there? 

I wonder what's on the other side? 


250 Single Enduro DT-1B 

Ө Yamaha International Corporation, 
P.O. Box 54540, 
Los Angeles, California 90054. 


> „ YAMAHA 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy" 


RANDY RIFLEMEN 

It was with great amusement 0 
read the chest thumpings of Ame 
sportsmen. offering to display sexual 
prodigies to Barbara Rurik to disprove 
her comention that “gun nuts 
lousy lovers" (The Playboy Forum, Feb- 
тиагу). What 1 find laughable is th 
none of these gentlemen has ever 
Miss Rurik. Is the rifle-toting Am: 
so insecure that he is prepared to pe 
form the sex act with any unseen, un- 
known woman who writes letters to the 
press attacking his virility? It would 
serve these noble savages right if Miss 
Rurik turned out to be а 40-ish, dumpy. 
thindipped, bespectacled, sex-starved 
spinster (as, unfortunately. women de- 
voted to good causes 100 often are), who 
will now go about the country taking 
cach and every one of these men up on 
invitation. 


Alexandre LaSalle 
Paris, France 
With the flood of gun nuts volunteer- 
ing to prove their virility to Barbara 
Rurik, I am nearly tempted to offer my- 
sell for the control group; 1 am a con- 
firmed pacifist and haven't handled a 
un for about seven years. But ГИ rc- 
П у sex life is quite adequate а 
ready and 1 don't feel a need to “prov 
nything. What I'm wondering is: I 
the me 
Rurik 


who felt moved to answer Miss 


really v 
ke Tove 


„ why are they so 
a? 
Why has th led to provide 
them with outlets in their own back 
yards? 


David М. Cohen 
Boston, Massachusctts 


He ement to ponder for the 
thin-brained ninnies who tried 10 r 
sure themselves of their virility by pro- 
posing sex ло Barbara Rurik via The 
Playboy Forum. Ws from Arthur Schles- 
inger, Jr's Violence: America in the 
sixties: “The hysteria expressed by some 
at the thought that guns should be 
censed, like automobiles, dogs and mar- 
viages, only strengthens the psychiatric 
suspicion that men doubtful of their own 
virility cling to the gun. .. as a symbolic 
phallus and unconsciously fear gun con- 
trol as the equivalent of castration.” 
Charles Т. Siewart, Jr. 
Colum! Missouri 


"s a sti 


It came as no surprise that a horde of 
gun collectors would write to you deny 
ing the allegation of Barbara Rurik that 
pistol and hisms are symptoms 
оГ misdir ual impulses. As the 
long-suffering wife of one of these char 
acters, let me state that Barbara Rurik 
may be wrong in asserting that they all 
have "pathetic, malfunctioning penise: 
probably they could perform quite well 
with a woman, if they wanted to. The 
problem is that they are more interested 
in their guns. 

My husband spends long, dreamy ses- 
sions taking his gun apart: lovingly, slow: 
ly, gently. carefully it is examined, oiled, 
rubbed, polished, caressed and, above 
all, cated with the utmost respect 
at all times. But how about me—his 
wife? Well, Т guarantee that 1 don't get 
rubbed and tickled and caressed with 
love and tenderness and respect for three 
hours at a time. Quite the contrary: 
He ds the original minuteman in bed. 
ng notes with the wives of 
ийсин, bas I fud they 
uniformly have the same complaint. И 
these guys spent as much time with their 
wives as they spend with their silly pop- 
guns, thcir marriages would be much 
happier. 


(Name withheld by request) 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


According to Freud, all weapons that 
һе a projectile have а phallic meaning 
for the unconscious mind. The weapon 
represents the penis, the firing is a sub 
stitute orgasm and the projected objec 
(bullet, arrow or whatever) is a substi 
tute for spermatozoa. Elsewhere, Freud 
that paranoia is often based on 
d homosexuality. The paranoid's 
unconscious is physically attracted to an. 
other male; the ego rejects conscious 
recognition of this desire; what emerges 
is a compulsion to attack the other m 
rat ranoid 


ispirin 


“conspir: 
noid’s own 
tack is a symbolic 
has also analyzed the “anal persona 
ће person whose libido is cathect 
more in the anus than in the genitals— 
as one who collects or hoards symbolic 
objects and also one who seeks authori 
tarian domination over others, a form of 
always disguised with 
tionalizations, 

In this light, gun collectors are not 


. Freud 


"moralis 


If you're about 
to buy a watch, 
why not make 
sure it's a 


1 stop watch 


2 


ime out stop watch 
3 doctor's watch 

4 yachting timer 

Б tachometer 


6 aviators watch 


ime zone watch 
8 skin diver's watch 


9 regular watch 


Why not make sure it's the 
Chronomaster by Croton, $100. 
Write for free fact book: 

Dept. P-5, Croton Watch Co., 
Croton-On-Hudson, N. Y. 10520 


OTON 


ONOMASTER 


SINCE 1878 


CHR 


PLAYBOY 


64 


necessarily impotent, as Barbara Ruri 
suggests; but they are very likely, at least 
on the unconscious level, anal-homosexua 
types with paranoid delusions. This diag- 
nosis is confirmed by their fetishistic 
d compulsive hoarding of large num- 
bers of weapons and munitions, their 
tendency to hang out in all-male clubs, 
their paranoid idea that any attempt to 
license and regulate their bizarre hobby 
is really a “Communist plot," and the 
hysterical way droves of them ne run- 
ning to defend their masculinity when. 
Miss Rurik cast doubt upon it. 

W. C. Phillips 

Providence, Rhode Island 


Wow! I have been propositioned in 
my life, but how many women can say 
they've had sexual offers from over а 

illion men (counting the members! 
of the National Rifle Association)? My 
ego would be as big as the Goody 
blimp, were it not for the sobering fact 
at not one of these guys knows me or 
knows what I look like, which means 
at they're not after my body but a 
nce to confirm their own masculinity. 
ttitude toward sex 
confirmation of my ori 
Gun nuts make lousy lovers. 

t know what kind of sexual 
fantasies you've been ha 
fellas, but for the record, I a 
housewife, aged 34, with two young chi 
dren and a husband who Пали Juoked 
t a gun since he got out of the Army 
and who takes good cue of me in every 
way. So, to all your offers to let me be 
the medium for your pseudomasculine 
message: "Thanks, but no thanks. 

Barbara Rurik 

Chicago, Illinois 


LIMITING POLICE ARMAMENTS 

Both as a gun owner and as a 
concerned citizen, 1 strongly support 
PLAYBOY S position on gun control. Т 
would, however, like to add something. 
In view of the shooting to death of an 
innocent teenager by a policeman in 
ago, the Algiers Motel incident in 
Detroit, the arming of police with high- 
powered weapons in Cleveland, the 
old-time shoot-out between two off-duty 
policemen in New York and a number 
of other ming incidents in which citi- 
zens have been fatally shot in ambigu- 
ous situations, it seems to me that we 
should direct attention to police as well 
as to civilians who own and сату arm: 

The suggestion has often been raised 
that our policemen would do well to emu- 
c the British bobby, who does not carry 
rearms except under certain limited cir- 
cumstances. In the past, I would have re- 
sponded to that suggestion by saying 
that it would be impossible to win sup- 
for the idea in this country, 
minuteman-frontier marshal mentality 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


а survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philosophy” 


SEX, SCIENCE AND SANITY 

Sexual activity is a healthy occupation, 
but it is not so healthy when it becomes 
an obsession, according to recent opinions 
voiced by social scientists, Dr. O. Spur- 
соп English, а prominent psychiatrist 
(see his letter, page 185), declared, 
а good thing. ... The earlier you are in- 
troduced to sex, the тоте you think 
about it the longer you'll carry that 
sexual interest into later years. You don't 
wear it out or deplete it.” Sex is so good 
that it might distract teenagers from 
drugs, says Dr. Sidney L. Werkman of 
Ше George Washington Uniwersity 
School of Medicine: “Early, uncompü- 
cated helerosexual experience between 
teenagers may well absorb much of the 
energy thal now goes into drug experti- 
mentation.” Dr. Gerhard Neubeck, a 
University of Minnesota psychologist, 
charged that one complication in Ameri- 
can sexual experience is an inability to 
use terms referring to the body or to sex 
ual acls. He called this “а typical middle- 
class hang-up” and said, “You have been 
brainwashed with the idea that even by 
looking at your own body you are already 
committing a sin.” 

To appreciate sex, however, does not 
mean to make it the be-all and end-all of 
life, Dr. Rollo May warns, The well- 
known psychiatrist and author cited 
nest Hemingway and Marilyn Monroc 
as examples of his theory thal when a 
sex symbol reaches the point where he 
feels sexually impotent, he may believe he 
has nothing left to live for: “Sexual ac- 
tivity is the most ready way to silence the 
inner dread of death. When that is over, 
some people sce no reason for living.” 


SWEDISH SEX STANDARDS 

STOCKHOIM—A | goveynment-sponsored. 
survey of Swedish sexual attitudes hos 
painted a more precise picture of Scan- 
dinavian sexual liberalism, These dis- 
coveries emerged: (1) Almost half of all 
brides ave pregnant at their weddings; 
(2) Contraception is practiced as a malter 
of duty unless both partners want a child; 
G) Ninely percent of all Swedes are 
against adultery and against “cheating” 
on one's partner in а stable unmarried 
relationship—this altitude is based on the 
belief that it is wrong to betray а part- 
mers trust; (4) Ninety-cight percent of 
all Swedes have experienced intercourse 
before marriage. 

Dr. Phyllis Kronhausen, who, with her 
husband Eberhard, presented an erotic- 
art show in Sweden and Denmark last year 
(see “A Portfolio of Erotica,” rLaynoy, 
December 1968) and is currently copro- 
ducing another, at Liljevalchs Museum, 
Stockholm (April through mid-May 1969). 
told the Chicago Sun-Times that Swedes 


worry too much about sex. They are “very 
honest” and "very introspective” people, 
she said, and are always afraid of hurling 
someone. She and her husband found 
that their exhibit of erotica had a thera- 
peutic effect on the melancholy Swedes: 
“They admitted that they had fantasies 
about different things that they had never 
expressed before and they became able 
to use a more emotionally toned sex 
language.” 


LIBERAL JUSTICES 

Judge Ben Edelstein о) the Cook 
County (Illinois) Women's Court has 
suggested legalizing prostitution to сш 
down sex crimes, venereal disease and the 
power of the aime syndicate. After point- 
ing out that the court had heard 42,500 
cases in 1968, he said, “Prostitution is the 
oldest profession in the world and I can- 
not curtail or stop it.” The magistrate 
proposed a Governmentsupercised sys- 
tem in which licensed prostitutes would 
receive periodic medical examinations. 
Sending them to jail, he added, is not a 
deterrent. 

In Honolulu, Judge Samuel Р. King of 
the Family Court has advocated removing 
from the books certain “crimes without 
victims" such as fornication, adultery 
und houwscxual ucts between consenting 
adults in private. “In effect.” he said, 
“most of these crimes have been repealed 
by public opinion in Hawaii." 


TO PRINT THE UNPRINTABLE WORD 

Repression against hippie and college 
newspapers. for alleged obscenity, con- 
tinues to accelerate. Among many recent 
incidents: 

+The Chicago Seed was hauled into 
court after printing a center spread that 
included drawings of male and female 
genitals, sex acts, flowers, Joseph Stalin, 
Adolf Hitler, Richard J. Daley, a club- 
swinging Chicago policeman and the 
words “God Bless America.” Arrested for 
selling that issue to members of the vice 
squad was Mis. Barbara Kahn, proprie- 
tress of a well-known Chicago bookstore. 
Presenting herself voluntarily at a local 
police station, Mrs. Kahn was verbally 
abused and jailed for several hours. “One 
police officer asked me what I consider 
obscene,” Mrs. Kahn told viaynoy. “I 
replied that the police are obscene, being 
fingerprinted and photographed is ob- 
scene and being jailed for selling a news- 
paper is obscene.” 

+ James Wasserman, editor of the Lan- 
thorn, published at Grand Valley State 
College, Allendale, Michigan, was slapped 
wilh an injunction for publishing a 
“lewd, obscene, indecent, filthy news- 
paper.” Unable to raise $5000 бай, 
Wasserman was remanded to jail; the 


A. C. L. U. immediately announced that 
it would provide legal aid. 

*Membeis of the Illinois House of 
Representatives called for an investiga- 
tion of a University of Ilinois Chicago 
Circle campus publication, the Chic 
Mini. “The dirty-word crisis,” as the Chi 
cago Sun-Times called it, was prompted 
by an article on why black people use 
so-called obscenities; it gave examples of 
taboo words uttered. One representative 
asserted that “we will have more riots” 
unless student. dissent—including such 
articles—is curtailed. Learning that the 
paper is not supported by public funds, 
the solons dropped the issue. 


SHAME AT NOTRE DAME 

SOUTH BEND, INDIANA— Detectives seized 
an allegedly pornographic [Ит оп the 
Notre Dame campus, causing the cancel- 
lation of a six-day conference on por- 
nograpiry and censorship sponsored by а 
student organization, After the lcaders 
of the conference had accepted an admin- 
istration ban on showing any blue movics, 
а rump session decided to go ahead and 
screen one such film. Local police sud- 
denly appeared on the campus, grabbed 
the movie—using Mace to fend off stu 
dent resistance—and тап of] under a hail 
of snowballs. The sponsors promptly 
called ofj the remainder of the confer- 
ence, saying that continuing it would 
probably “be a catalyst for further vio- 
lence.” The prohibition order touching 
off the fracas came from the Reverend 
Theodore M. Hesburgh, president of the 
university, who made a statement imply- 
ing that pornography is best examined 
with one's eyes firmly shut. “This uni- 
versity has no intention to be used for 
the showing of hard-core pornography, 
although we certainly have no objection 
10 a serious discussion of pornography, 
which is а great problem in our day." 


ABORTION-LAW CHALLENGE 

Los ANGELES—The American Civil Lib- 
erties Union of Southern California has 
са a bric{ with the state supreme court 
declaring that laws against abortion ате 
based on Roman Catholic dogma and 
are, therefore, an unconstitutional estab- 
lishment of religion, The brief was filed 
on behalf of Dr. Leon Belous, who has 
campaigned publicly against abortion 
laws and who was placed on probation 
after being convicted of conspiring to per- 
form an abortion. The A. C. L. 07-5 argu- 
ment stated: “I is of the very essence of 
our constitutional system thal an ecclesi- 
astical proposition should not constitu- 
tionally be supported by а civil law for 
which the perpetuation of a religiou 
dogma is the primary purpose or effect. 


TRAVELERS AID VETOED 
pALTIMorr—Bars, taverns and other 

places dispensing liquor may sell con- 

traceptives in Maryland via vending ma- 


chines, but it’s taboo for those in the 
business of selling gasoline. Because of 
this seldom-invoked law. the operator of 
a filling station was arrested by plain- 
clothesmen for having such a machine on 
his premises. Taking strong exception, 
Dr. Frances H. Trimble, medical director 
of Maryland's Planned Parenthood Fed- 
cration, said service stations ате logical 
places for such machines, which should 
be distributed as widely as possible in lo- 
cations “where they are conspicuously 
brought to the attention of the youth of 
the state with the purpose of encouraging 
their purchase and tse...” 


VOTES FOR YOUTH 

A nationwide campaign to lower the 
voting age from 21 lo 18 is gaining 
momentum, Following a December 1968 
speech at the University of the Pacific by 
Senator Birch Bayh, LUV (Let Us Vote) 
was founded by Dennis Warren, a 20- 
year-old student, Since then, over 200 
college and 1500 high school chapters 
have been founded. In Washington, 
D. C., a coalition of youth groups, includ- 
ing the National Education Association, 
the National Student Association, the 
Youth Division of the NAACP, the U.S. 
Youth Council and the Young Democrat 
and Young Republican clubs, announced 
plans to lobby for the necessary constitu- 
tional amendment. The proposal is also 
supported by President Nixon and hey 
Congressional lawmakers, 


WHEN THE DOOR LOCKS 

PHILADELPHIA—Two psychologists who 
decided ta see what it feels like to be 
mental patients had themselves com- 
mitled to Philadelphia State Hospital; 
they reported that they began experienc- 
ing paranoid feelings as soon аз they 
were locked up. Both described an irra- 
tional fear that their friends on the out- 
side would forget about them or that the 
experiment “was just a ploy they're us 
ing to get us in here.” These delusions 
did not recede until they discovered ways 
of escaping—even though all they really 
had to do any time they wanted to call 
the experiment off was notify an attend- 
ant that they wanted to see the head 
psychiatrist (the only one aware of their 
seal identities). 

The psychologists, Dr. Ronald Н. Bohr 
and Әу. Thomas A. Steinberg, told The 
New York Times that, after the initial 
stage of anxiety passed, the chief prob- 
lem they faced was acute boredom. This 
became so intense, Dr. Bohr said, that he 
found himself seeking any stimulus to 
relieve it, even looking at the Iowa corn 
exchange pices on early-morning tele- 
vision, 

Drs. Bohr and Stcinberg said that thesc 
experiences “leach” the new arrivals to 
stay sick and turn them into “the chron- 
ic, dependent people we sce all too often 
іп even our best mental facilities?" 


being so ingrained in our culture. Now 
1 feel that such a position is no longer 
valid; it was, if you'll excuse the expres- 
sion, а cop-ou 
We must take steps to limit the use of 
firearms by police. The greater part of 
police work is not directly involved with 
serious crimes such as homicide. Why 
should every policeman, without regard 
to training or ability, carry the power of 
life and death on his hip? Usually, a 
judge has had years of education be- 
fore he is given the power of life and 
death, and the man convicted court 
has the right of appeal. There is no 
appeal from a fatal bullet—it is a death 
sentence delivered on the basis of a 
splitsecond reaction by а man who may 
have had the benefit of only three 
months’ training in a police academy. 
Modern communications and t 
portation should end the need of cach 
police officer acting as а law unto him- 
self. A beat cop armed with a billy club. 
and a walkie-talkie should be able to 
mobilize as much force as he might need 
in an emergency within seconds. We 
specialize all our endeavors because it is 
more effici so. Why not special- 
i police forces as well? Not so 
lized as to introduce bureaucratic 
paralysis, but specialized enough so that 
the guns are in the hands of men fully 
aware of thcir potential and able to use 
them effectively. specialized enough to 
keep the capricious and slow-witted at 
far from the awesome power that 
nates from a loaded pistol. 
H. Randall Webb 
Cambridge, Massachusetts. 


GUN LICENSES 
People on both sides of the gun-control 


question are ultimately maintaining ex- 
. Exponents of guns scem 
nt them to be available to anyone 
and everyone, while those who favor 
gum control want them a 
onc. Is there no middle ground? What 
we need is a calm approach to an i 
that has provoked both sides to an al- 
most maniacal state of mind. Education 
is what is needed most. 

What is also needed is a license, j 
аз one needs a license to drive a car. 
Granted, in spite of this requirement, 
we still have a ridiculously large number 
of highway deaths, but think what the 
figures would be if anyone at all were 
allowed to get behind a wheel. Similarly, 
any honest citizen who wishes to pur- 
chase and use firearms should have to 
state tests and show he is capable of 
dling these potentially dangerous de- 
ез with good sense. This kind of licens- 
ing would automatically rule out the 
criminal and the 1 - I can't believe 
re levelheaded gum owners 
would oppose such a requirement. We 
must educate everyone so that the gun 
owner is aware of his responsibilities 


PLAYBOY 


and the nonowner need по longer be 
ightened at the mere mention of a gun 
Allan C. Kimball 
Washington, D. C 


MEDIEVALISM AT MANKATO 

I have been the editor of Plaintiff, the 
literary magazine of Mankato State Col- 
lege, for a litle more than two years. 
During that time, Plaintiff has won four 
rds and a rating of excel- 
a journalism. fiction, nonfiction 
I scheduled for 


" which aroused the ire of 
s printer. Regarding the 
a tempest in a teapot, I tried 

ед, tolerant and gentleman- 
ly about it. I agreed to have the college 
president halt distribution until he had 
checked with the state attorney gene 
ofice and received an official ор 


that the story was not obscene. On my 
own, I had several lawyers check out the 
story and they gave the same opinion. 

I also allowed the printer to add an 
“Herbie 


imer preceding 
ng that the ma 


nd it "vulgar and not in good 
(He later stated, on public record, 
‘Herbie and I” offended his polit- 
ical and religious views.) 

Various state legislators then be; 
denouncing the college and isu 
threats about cutting the appropri 
lor this year, ‘Lhe Student Senate decid- 
ed to counterattack the source of the 
trouble and voted $50 to start a legal 
fund to investigate just investigate— 
the printer's actions, The administration 
promptly voided the funds, and—still 
trying to be a “good guy —1 agreed not 
to protest publicly, on the grounds that 
such protest would “hurt the image of 
the college." The administration then 
conducted a special audit of the maga- 
zine's funds (apparently looking lor some 
way to discredit me) but found nothing. 
Once , I was asked not to raise a 
public Outcry against this; and, once 
I submitted—for the sake of the 


schon! 


Now the president has halted the 


printing and distribution of the current 
issue of Plaintiff because the state college 
1, reacting to presure from the leg- 


ands the right to exercise prior 
censorship. ovi ication. Sensi- 


the impression th a 
of vulgarity and the school 
hotbed of licentiousness; іп most of 
state, our side of the story isn't being 
heard at all. The students are angry and 
disgusted with this whole speaacle of 
organized hypocrisy and bigotry, and 
only constant argument by the cooler 
heads among us prevents an outbreak of 
the kind of disruption and violence that 
has occurred at other colleges. 


All this has happened becuse of а 


and political views—exactly the 
expression the First Amendment 
written to protect. 

Incidentally, the violent opinions ex- 
pressed by Herbie in my story were not, 
and are not, my own; I was just trying 
to explain, through a fictitious character, 
why so many of today's youth are in 
angry rebellion against the establishment 
‘Thanks to the medieval response of the 
establishment, there are now more ex- 
Herbie around here than 
existed before his creation. 

Todd 5, Т. Lawson 
Mankato State College 
Mankato, Minnesota 


GUARDING THE GUARDIANS 

п article in The Milwaukee Journal 
revealed the hypocrisy of those who would 
protect us from naughtiness. Police in 
La Crosse, Wisconsin, had seized materi- 
als that were later judged obscene. Soon, 
it was discovered that the search warrant 
used by the police was based on hearsay 
testimony and, therefore, the charges 
were dropped. The police, however, re 
tained the materials that were seized. As 
а result, the who had owned the 
materials sued. The state supreme court 
ruled that pornography is contraband 
and may be destroyed by the police. But 
t the end of 
the police were busy 
¢ public from the corrupting 
¢ of all this material by carefully 
guarding it in a safe in the police station, 
about 15 of the films disapp Either 
a thief managed to get into the police sta- 
tion and crack the safe or the police of 
La Crosse are busy indulging in some- 
thing they don’t want the public doing. 
So the agelong censorship question ari 
—who will guard the gı 


Stevens Point, Wisconsin 


GOD AND IOWA 

Here in the heart of the Bible Belt, 
a group of lobbyists (most of whom а 
registered as members of the American 
Independent у) has just brought 
the Word of the Lord to the legislators 
in Des Moines. The Lord, it seems, 
wants а law passed that would deny 
state aid to any school including sex 
education in its curriculum. 

The Rev il Waters, one of 
the group's 


"embryo" in school. When 
е "embryo," the Reverend 
aers said he had been planning to 
look the word up in the dictionary ever 
since a reporter in Des Moines inquired 
if he objected to it. When confronted 
with the favorable view of sex education 


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Canada—Amherst, М. S. /D. A. Casey, Ltd., 
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wall Ford Sales, Ltd., 6333 Tecumseh E., 
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Colorado—Colorado Springs/Phil Long Ford, 
Inc., 1212 Fountain Creek Blvd., Littleton/ 
Courtesy Motors, Inc., 5850 S. Broadway. 

Idaho— Boise /Bob Rice Ford, Inc., 3150 Main. 

Montana— Great Falls/Bison Motor Co., 500 
10th Ave. 5. 

New Mexico—Albuquerque/Richardson 
Ford Sales, Inc., 8601 Lomas, М.Е. 

Oregon— Portland/Marv Tonkin Ford Sales 
Inc., 1313 М.Е. 122nd Ave. 

Washington—Bellevue/Metke Ford Motors, 
Inc., 10641 МЕ. 8th St, Dishman/McCol- 
lum Motors, Inc. 8323 E. Sprague, Seattle/ 
Tallakson Ford, 811 N.E. 45th St, 

Wyoming—Casper/Spaniol Ford, Inc, 333 
Cy Ave. 

EUROPEAN DEALERS 


Madrid, Spain— Albion, 5.А., Modesto La- 
guento 88 

Genève, Svitzerland— Performance Cars Ltd., 
Chemin de la Vendee 27 

Paris, France— Inter Sport SA. 43 quai André 
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Düsseldorf, Germany—A. Regehr KG., 
4 D'dorf Burgunderstr 19-25 

Brussels, Belgium—Claude DuBois, 380 Rue 
Vanderkindere 

Write for specifications and literature to Sholby 

Automotive Inc., Dept. A-1, Box 7390, North End 

‘Station, Detroit, Mich. 48202 


People will talk... 


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a Shelby GT. After all, this is a car with a reputation. 
And the wherewithal to back it up. Your choice of 351 
or 428 Ram-Air V-8 heads the list, followed swiftly by 
front disc brakes, built in roll bar, air-ducts for brake 
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side of Daytona, and your choice of a 4-speed manual 
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held by the National Council of Churches, 


the Reverend Waters replied that the 


N.C. "Communist controlled.” 
Raymond D. Perry 


Davenport, Iowa 


IGNORANCE IS FUNNY 

“Сара Fenwick’s Mailbox," a col- 
in the State Press of Arizona State 
University, recently acquired a windfall 
of humorous items when a number of 
parents in a Phoenix school district at- 
tacked a sex-educition program lor their 
children, Noting that classrooms full of 
studenis at the university were breaking 
up with laughter when specimens of the 
parental protests were read to them, the 
column reprinted a whole slew of cx- 
cerpts from the letters section of a local 
paper. Here are some samples, for the 
amusement ol PLAYBOY. readers: 


+ My husband had a sex dass in 
high school . . . He found it hard 
to control his feelings after he found 


out what they were. 
* God says the teaching of sex is 
the right of the parent. . . . We feel 


this is another wedge the Godless 
Communists are using to separate 
the family unity. 

* If we endorse such a program, 
[we] o be 
prostitutes and homosexuals. 

= Alter having an hour in sex- 


not likely to spend the rest of the da 
ingon math. etc. His y 
will dwell on one thing—scs. 
* 1 definitely do not think the ma- 
of the sex-education program 

is fit for open discussion among 
mixed adults, much less on the grade 
school level. 

+ Also, once established im the 
schools, who's to keep it from be- 
nt instead of a 
selective [sic]? 1 believe this is the 
way communism works isn't it? 

* Children should learn about sex 
step by step at mother's Кпес, Really, 
Karl Marx outlined how America 
would fall from within. 
ad of our chiklren talking 
Christmas this year, they'll be ask- 
"Mother amd Dad, what is sex 


his sex training that has su 
denly become so important . . . is 
по more or less Шап the diabolical 
of Communists to destroy our 
. It was planned years ago to 
troduced after they got our 
country, parents and youth degen- 
erated то a ca ge to receive it. 


Hardy Landskoy 
Arizona State University 
"Tempe, Arizona 


SEX AT AN EARLY AGE 
A most courageous, uncompromis- 
ing and commonsensical lady recently 


i» 
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PLAYBOY 


70 


astounded a gathering of churchgoing 
people in this area with her views on sex 
education. Dr. Eleanor Hamilton, а 
Sheffield, Massachusetts, psychologist and 
marriage counselor, forthrightly told a 
meeting of the Pittsfield Area Council of 
Churches that certain sexual behavior 
should be countenanced for children and 
teenagers. Here are some of the thingy 
The Berkshire Eagle said in an article 
about Dr. Hamilton's speech: 


In short, Dr. оп... be- 
lieves in educating children to enjoy 
their sexuality froi ancy without 
feeling of guilt. 
not unusual for 


n 
young as three weeks old to experi 
ence an "orgasm rellex," she said. 


n infant as 


She also told of a woman aged 70 
who when asked "at what age does 
sexual interest decline," re- 
"Il let you know." 

She told of her son who asked, 
Mommy, I touch myself all over. 
е feel the best of 
After congratulating him on 


the discovery, she said, “You're 
going to have a lot of fun with that 
in your life. 


Women, she said, are “sexually 
crippled” by our moral law. “The so- 
called moral law . . . is one of the 
most immoral laws that we have ever 


promulgated on mankind," she said. 
She 


should Ье 


says teenagers 


by “enjoy 


She says, when a teenager, 14, 15 
or 16, feels he or she “really loves 
another person,” he should be er 
couraged to practice sexuality in a 
noncoital way. 


should not 


к s at th: 
are not physically or emotio 
prepared for it. 

"Boys have been taught that the 
y to have sex is to "put it 
in, " she said. But added that many 
of the greatest lovers have made love 
in “noncoital ways.” 

Sexual intercourse should start be- 
tween consenting lovers at ages 17, 
18 or 19, she said. Accompanying all 
of this should be а full education on 
sex and vener 

Among her sugges 
ital sex 


age 
ally 


ions for pre- 


теле should be free 


the gil should love and 
trust the boy. Sex before love is not 
necessarily harmful, she says, but it 
can be meaningful only if it comes 
alter love is established first. 

That the partners must be “well 
prepared” on the topic of birth 
control. 

That the partners must have a 


motel оға 
joy their 


sale place “other than 
parked car" in which to 
ionshi 
She said she provided a “safe 
place" and birth-control information 
for her own children 


Dr. Hamilton's ideas sound like 21st 
Century thinking in contrast to the su- 


perstitious nonsense that passes for opin- 


з on sex training in most circles tod. 
She's a brave, intelligent woman, and 1 
salute her! 


Charles Reagan 
Boston, Massachusetts 


FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE 

A while back, my 12-year-old son be- 
gan removing the Playmate [oldouts 
from my husband's rravsoy and hang- 
ing them on the wall of his room. Since 
this scemed perfectly natural at his age, 
І wasn't disturbed. However, many of 
the other neighborhood boys started 
coming around to look at my son's 
collection and would giggle over them 
in а way indicating how drastically se: 
ual curiosity had been suppressed in 
their own homes. Finally, one boy, who 
had merely come to visit, looked 
the room, saw the pictures, turned pale 
and ran home to tell his mother. Hi 
parents forbade him to come to our house 
after that and we became the subject of 
gosip for months 

Here's the joke: My children are not 
afraid to discuss anything, with me and 
as a result, many of their friends also 
come to me with their problems. Most 
of these discussions begin, "I wouldn't 
dare say this to my own parents...” 
What follows is always perfectly natural 
and healthy adolescent sex talk. None of 
t seems abnormal to me; but the par- 
ents of these children, who think they 
have raised sexless little robots, would 
have heart attacks or fits if they ever 
heard one tenth of it! 

Mrs. Beverly Dilz 

aville, Californi: 


CHARITY AND SOCIAL JUSTICE 

I was most interested іп the letter 
from Sun Bear in the February Playboy 
Forum. He made a salient poi 
constantly needs reemphasis toda! 
help contributes to pride and progress 
in a way that charity cannot and this is 
what really builds communi 

This has also been the tradition of my 
own people. The Jewish responsibility 
for one's neighbor is expressed in the 
Hebrew word "tzedakah," which does not 
mean “charity” but “social justice.” For 
example, the Bible forbade the Jews to 
harvest the corners of the fields, so that 
the poor might later take what was left. 
nd Naomi tells 


—setting aside ten percent of one’s in- 
come for the poor—ilso has a Biblical 


Sun Bear's description of the masked 
charity giver was especially interesting, 
with its concept that the generosity of the 
Great Spirit must be shared anonymously. 
In the 12th Century, Moses Maimonides, 
a great teacher and writer, defined eight 
levels of charity. Among the lowest is 
the outright gift of alms to the needy 
Somewhere along the line is the dona- 
tion so given that the recipient and 
the donor do not know each other. But 
the highest level of giving is to extend the 
opportunity for the needy to help them- 
selves out of their trouble. 

The same lessons are there іп the 
traditions of many ethnic groups, but 
people must translate those words into 
action 


Julian N. Jablin 
Skokie, Illinois. 


А NORMAL PREGNANT 12-YEAR-OLD 
I must express both my gra to 
Captain Peter T. Koch-Weser, M.D., for 
his letter in the January Playboy Forum 
and my concurrence with his view 1 
the concept of mental illness should 
not be abused as a means of circumyent 
g legal processes. Many people may 
have misconstrued my letter in the July 
1968 Playboy Forum castigation of 
preg 
nant arold girl was normal and 
not entitled to an abortion under the 
laws of the state of North Carolina. 1 
certainly did not mean th 1. The 
psychiatrist who examined the gm] was 
asked to determine whether or not the 
emotional impact of a pregnancy on her 
would be so severe as to make it delete 
rious to her health. He was of the op 
ion that it would not be. Therefor 
under the laws of our state, there was no 


psychiauiss for deciding that 
Е 


legal way for the girl to obtain an 
abortion. 

The purpose of my letter was to poi 
out the existent weak and loop- 
holes in the North Jaw that 
should be corrected. 

Robert C. Powell 
Attomey at Law 
Dallas, North. Caroli 


ABORTION AND CATHOLICISM 
Why does the Catholic Ghurch feel it 


must force its beliels regarding abortion 


on all persons, regardless of th 
gion? 1 have heard it argued that 
Church believes that abort i 
and that no one can stand by 
human beings to be murdered. But 
people other than Catholics contend thar 
the embryo is human. Catholic theologi- 
ans affirm this because they believe tha 
a soul is the distinguishing feature of a 
human being and that this soul is im- 
planted. in the organism at the moment 
of conception. If they want to believe 
that, fine. Bur legal systems should not 
be based on religious beliefs. What if the 
Pope were to declare that flies have 

(continued on page 185) 


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PANASONIC. 


200 Park Avenue New York 10017 


we. BILL COSBY 


a candid conversation with the kinetic comedian-actor-singer-enirepreneur 


During this decade, по comedian— 
black or white—has come close to асһіси- 
ing the superstardom Bill Cosby has jash- 
ioned for himself in the short space of 
seven years. At 31, he commands a fee of 
$50,000 a week for nightclub dates; and 
on concert tours, he often earns. three 
times that figure. Cosby has also vaulted 
to Ше top of two industries: He шоп 
four consecutive Grammys for his come- 
dy albums and three Emmys in a row 
for his co-starring role as secret agent 
Alexander Scott on NBC's “1 Spy,” his 
first attempt at acting. In 1967, Cosby 
recorded two albums of rhythm-and. 
blues vocals, with the perhaps predicta- 
ble result that one of his cuts, “Little 
Old Man,” was а top pop hit for more 
than two months. And in April of this 
year, Gosby began filming his first movie, 
а remake oj “Here Comes Mr. Jordan.” 
in which he enacts the comic gangster 
role originally played by Robert Mont- 
gomery. So great is the demand for his 
services that NBG recently signed him to 
а five-year contract that will net him any- 
where from $15,000,000 to $50,000,000; 
it calls for, amang other things an annu- 
al Cosby TV spectal, two cartoon specials 
based on his subteen superheroes, Fat 
Albert and Old Weird Harold, and “The 
Bill Cosby Show.” beginning next fall, 
in which he will be featured each weck 
as a San Francisco schoolteacher who 
moonlights as a detective. 

Speaking of moonlighting, Созу is 
also becoming as adepl an executive as 
he is an entertainer. He and business 


al 


“The fact that I’m по! trying 10 win con- 
verts bugs some people, but 1 don't think 
an enterlamer can. I've never known any 
white bigot to рау to scc a black man, 
unless the black man was being hung." 


partners Roy Silver and Bruce Campbell 
ате assembling an entertainment con- 
glomerate, based in Beverly Hills, whose 
net worth has already approached the 
$50,000,000 mark. Among their proper- 
ties: a record company (Tetragramma- 
ton. which released the controversial 
John Lennon-Yoko Ono LP “Two Vir- 
gins,” featuring a frontal nude photo of 
the loving couple), a cartoon-animation 
studio, a public-relations firm, a talent- 
management corporation, а projected 
chain ој Fat Albert hamburger stands 
and a motion-picture-production. compa- 
ny that already has а fice-film, $12,000,000 
contract with Warner Bios.-Scven Aris. 

To everyone's surprise but his own, 
Cosby's emergence аз а one-man indus- 
trial giant has had no adverse effect on 
his personality. On stage and off, he is 
informal, unpretentious and, to use his 
favorite adjective, cool. Married, the fa- 
ther of two daughters and with another 
child on the way, Cosby maintains that 
he's perfectly willing to sire as many as 
20 girls before he stops trying for a son. 
The Cosbys live in a huge Spanish-style 
home іп Beverly Hills, where Bill spends 
а good deal of time informally entertain- 
ing friends, most of whom, like trumpeter 
Miles Davis and Boston Celtic. player- 
coach Bill Russell, are either black enter- 
tainers or black athletes. 

Sports are a prime passion of his: 
Cosby watches as many televised football 
games as his wife will pul up with and, 
during the year, plays charity exhibitions 
with a pickup basketball team—oflen on 


“I was hoping to become a schoolteacher. 
Chicks would put that down. There's 
probably girls today think. ‘I sold Bill 
Cosby short at $12, and now he’s §132 a 


share. Damn. 


behalf of local black groups—throughout 
the Los Angeles area. No stranger to 
ghetto residents, Cosby gets a special 
kick out of working with youth, He 
sponsored a group of young Watts musi- 
cians in 1967, called them the Watts 
13rd Street Rhythm. Band and featured 
them as accompanists өп а couple of his 
TV guest shots. To Cosby, it represents 
the шау he can—and docs—help other 
black people. His prospects in life not 
too many years ago, as he himself is the 
first to point ont, were een dimmer 
than those of the Watts group before he 
aided them. 

The eldest of three sons, Bill was born 
оп July 12, 1937, іт an arca of Philadel- 
phia that Time magazine once chris- 
tened The Jungle. Bill's boyhood was 
typical of many a black youth's: He 
shined shoes, played street football and 
schoolyard basketball, took pait in t 
gang wars and compiled a lackluster aca- 
demic record from the moment he set 
foot in school (“William would rather 
clown than study,” his sixth-grade teach- 
er noted on a report card Cosby now 
herps framed in his home) At German. 
town High School, he was captain of the 
track and football teams, which took up 
most of his time; after he had to repeat 
his tenth year because of poor grades, 
Bill dropped out of school to join the 
Navy as а medical corpsman. “1 read 
the Geneva convention and it says you 
can't shoot а medic,” he explained later. 
“And we were very popular—first thing 
wounded guys in the field would shout 


“Rap Brown and all the other militants 
speak the truth when they tell America 
that the black man is not going to take 
any more bullshit; we've been here 300 
years and we've had it with waiting” 


73 


PLAYBOY 


74 


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was ‘Medic!’ ‘What do you want?’ I'd 
ask. “Му leg! My leg!" ‘Sorry, but I don't 
make house calls?” 

All his kidding aside, Cosby felt that 
the military life was largely а waste of 
lime. “The thing T really hated” he 
recently recalled, “is that a guy with one 
stripe more than another cat thinks he 
has the power of God over him—and he 
does. After my first few days іп the Navy, 
1 knew Га have to make it as a civilian, 
And for that, І needed an education.” 
Accordingly, Cosby enrolled іп corre- 
spondence courses conducted by the 
Navy and soon camed а high school 
diploma. Just before his tour of duty was 
completed, he competed for the Navy in 
а back meet at Villanova University. 
Gavin White, at that time the track 
coach of Villanove's city rival, Temple 
University, was in the stands that after- 
noon. Cosby was introduced to White 
and asked if Temple would consider 
offering him a track scholarship when he 
gol out of the Navy. White replied that 
it could be arranged, and it was. 

A versatile college athlete, Cosby par- 
сірісі in more than a half-dozen 
events for Temple's track team, winning 
the Middle Atlantic Conference's high- 
jump competition with a leap of 6 fect 
and running the 100-yard dash in 10.2 
seconds, Ау a second-string fullback on 
the varsity football squad, he was scouted 
for the New York Giants by Emlen Tun- 
nell, who rated him as having a good 
chance to make the Nationai Football 
League as a defensive safety. 

Cosby decided to earn spending money 
by taking a job tending bar іп а small 
Downtown Philly cocktail lounge, where 
his comedy career began—inaduertently 
—when he found himself entertaining 
customers to pass the lime. After trying 
оша few bits at campus parties, Bill did 
occasional stand-up routines in other 
bars and, on weekends, would journey 
up to New York's Greenwich Village 
in search of beller-paying gigs, where 
he finally landed a $60-e-weck job at the 
Gaslight Club in the summer of 1962. By 
autumn, Cosby was commuting regularly 
from Philadelphia to New York for 
weekend appearances in Village clubs. It 
wasn't long before comedy and college 
became incompatible. "Bill. wanted. to 
travel to a football game in Ohio by 
himself,” recalls Temple athletic director 
Ernie Casale. "He couldn't make the 
team flight because of a show-business 
commitment. 1 told him that, realistical- 
by, he'd soon have to choose between 
Temple and show business. He made the 
choice right there and then. 

Though he made the right decision, he 
wasn’t too sure at the lime; his mother 
didn't want him to leave college, and 
neither did he. “But I was making as 
much as $300 on weekends,” he remem- 
bers, “and even though I wasn't sure 
how long it would last, 1 was determined 


to sce it out.” Ву 1963, Cosby had gradu- 
ated to top Village spots such as The 
Bitter End; and that summer, Allan 
Sherman, who was guest-hosting the “To- 
night” show for vacationing Johnny Car- 
son, caught his act and put him on 
network ТУ for the first time. A few 
weeks after that, Sherman coproduced 
Cosby's first album, “Bill Cosby Is a Very 
Funny Fellow . . . Right!” His carcer 
has been straight up ever since. 

Over the years, Bill has been the sub- 
ject of a series of limpid interviews; 
perhaps with the misguided intention of 
boosting a black comic who wasn't skew- 
ering whites on stage, writers and editors 
have often deleted his more trenchant off- 
stage observations about the black man's 
place in America—almost to the point of 
making him seem an Uncle Tom. As a 
result, he roundly dislikes the press. “One 
magazine sent a guy out to spend three or 
four days with me. That cat and 1 talked 
for hours about what's happening to 
black people in this country, and I 
couldn't wait to see the issue. But it was 
really stupid, man. They were more in- 
terested in showing me playing basket 
ball with my press agent than in what 1 
had to say.” 

In an effort to reveal the real Cosby, 
PLAYBOY dispatched Associate Editor 
Lawrence Linderman to accompany him 
on a series of one-night stands in the 
Midwest. Reports Linderman: “ 
life is incredibly departacntalize 
jrom Ins personal appearances, he’s con: 
stantly hopping across the country to 
show up for business conferences, TV 
guest shots, his friends? first nights and 
assorted film commitments. This schedule 
literally knocks him out. It isn't unusual 
to walk into Cosby's dressing тоот бе. 
tween performances and find him dozing 
in a straight-backed chair, a long-dead 
cigar propped between his lips. He stays 
that way until it’s time to go on, then 
snaps awake instantly and gets himself 
‘up’ on the way to the stage. Once there, 
he tums оп and works as hard—physically 
--аз any comedian Гое ever seen. But 
the most impressive thing about watching 
Cosby perform is 10 realize how wide the 
appeal of his humor has become: Th 
same routines that make him a hit in 
Harlem's Apollo go over just as big with 
all-white crowds in Las Vegas and Des 
Moines" The universality of Cosby's 
comedy provided the opening for our 
interview. 


PLAYBOY: Both fans and critics often 
your humor "color-blind." Do you think 
that’s an accurate description? 

cossv Well, I think there are some 
people who are disappointed when I 
don't tell my audiences that white people 
are mistreating black people. White 
critics will write about Cosby not doi 
any racial material, because they think 
that now is the time for me to stand 
up and tell adiences what color I am 


Playboy Club News | 


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PLAYBOY 


76 


and what's going on in America. But I 
don't see these people knocking the 
black elevator man in their building just 
because he isn't doing anything for civil 
rights by running that elevator; it 
wouldn't sell newspapers or magazines. 
The fact that I'm not trying to wi 
converts on stage bugs some people, but 
I don't think an entertainer сап м 
converts. I've never known any kind of 
white bigot to pay to see a black man, 
unless the black man was being hung. So 
1 don't spend my hours worrying how to 
p а social message into my act; 1 just 
go out and do my thing. 
PLAYBOY: How would you describe it? 
совву: My humor isn't jokes as much as 
situations, I tell storis and the 
characters in those stories, like the one 
I wrote for you guys. This isn’t some- 
thing that came to me overnight. I don’t 
think I le until my third 
album; up until then, I'd been doing 
what amounted 10 cartoon ideas. Some 
of my humor comes straight out of the 
newspapers, in а way. Take Noah and 


the ark. I once read about a mass mur- 
dei 


id when they captured the guy 
d asked him why he did it, he said, 
“The voice told me to do it.” You'd be 
surprised at how many killings there are 
where a guy hears a voice that says, 
rifle, go out and sla 
is а country built on Christi 
f a guy sees a bolt of lightning. 
rs a crack of thunder and then a 
voice saying, and smite thine ene- 
mics!"—which was always happening 
n the Bible—how many cats do you 
know who wouldn't go along with it? So 
I started to think about what would 
happen today if a guy was told by the 
voice to go build an ark. First of all. he'd 
doubt that the voice was real. So there's 
got to be conversation between him and 
the voice. Second, what arc the neighbors 
going to think? 2 . no rain has 
been falling and 


n. 


going to be thinking, 1 am 
I building an ark for?” 

PLAYBOY: ‘The recorded version of your 
Noah story is a tightly constructed апа 
highly polished comedy routine; yet dur 
ing nightclub performances—as with so 
much of your material—you yary the 
dialog and often the plot from night to 
night. Why? 

cosey: Well, I think I'm 
comedy to the way jazz musicians work. 
After you play а song through once, the 
solos start. | treat each of my character 
as a song, and I start soloing when the 
character comes into the plot. I have 
ccr s to follow, but 1 can do 
differ things with them—like chord 
changes. For instance, іп my LP То 
Russell, My Brother, Whom 1 Slept 
With, there's a scene where the kid lies 
to his father about how his bed broke. 


milar in my 


n 


On the record, the kid cries when he 
docs it, But there are nights when the 
id doesn't cry. № all depends on how 1 
want the kid to explain it to his old 
man. And also, to an extent. I want my 
live performances to be different from. 
my records. I can't stand 10 have some- 
body sitting out there with his lips 
moving with mine. 

PLAYBOY: Most of your humor has to do 
with your childhood. Was it as happy as 
you make it scem? 

COSBY: Are you kidding? The thing 1 
most remember about being а kid was 
being poor. | remember the eviction 
signs, especially; they were doubly hard 
to rake. D had buddies who'd tell me, 
“Hey, man, like, уоште really poor; you 

n't pay your rent" Now, I'm not 
ying my life was harder than anybody 
else's; I'm just telling you the way it was. 
I remember а Chrisumas when we had no 
Christmas tree, and you just can't get 
lower than that, We had an orange tree 
and there weren't any presents. And I 
remember tiking a girl to the junior 
h school prom and 1 didn't have 
money to cover cab fare; 1 was hoping 
she'd ride the trolley car with me, in her 
gown. But somethi ppened: 
Her mother gave rs to help 
with the cab fare, because somehow she 
new I didn't have any money. Maybe it 
wasn't all that tough to guess; | was 
wearing a blue double-breasted suit coat 
and a pair of black slacks, I wanted to 
keep my raincoat on, because I knew 
when 1 took it off, I'd be the only guy 
there who hadn't been able to come up 
with the bread to rent a tux. One house 
we lived in had no bathtub: my mother 
used to take out this big tub, put water 
in it and put it on top of the stove to 
heat up. 

But when you're young. you have all 
is of energy and you forget the bad 
things and get on with the good: p 
ag ball, going downtown with your 
Friends to shine shoes and sell shopping 
bags, making two dollars and coming 
back home. In that neighborhood, we 
never had an image to look up to. aside 
Irom a minister. Anybody ele who 
came around was either the white 
ance man or the white bill collector who: 
was looking for his two dollars for the 
plastic lamp he sold that was shaped like 
a cat with sparkling тей eyes and a pink 
bottom. I know / didn’t look up to any 
grownups. I would envy certain guys 
whose fathers had a sense of humor, 
whose fathers showed they cared for 
them. 

PLAYBOY: What about your own father? 

cossy: Well, I love my father and he 
loves me, but the old man wasn’t the 
outstanding part of my life. My parents 
got married in Philadelphia and my fa- 
ther started out with a middle-class pay- 
ng job. But he was a heavy drinker 
when they married, and through booze 


sur- 


and his own particular personality, he 
cared more about his buddies and what 
they thought of him than about taking 
e of his wife and kids. Somebody 
always seemed to rob my father on pay 
ys between work and the house. So 
when he got home, I heard these terrible 
arguments between my mother and my 
ere the money was, He'd 
Well, you better take this, because 
that's all T have.” And my mother would 
say, “But, Bill, you got paid today.” And 
then he'd say, “Well, this is all T have, so 
don't ask ше for any more.” Then there 
were times when he'd come back the 
next day and say, “Gimme ten dollars.” 
And Mom would tell him she needed the 
money to buy food. And then an argu- 
ment and maybe a fight. J remember my 
her beating my mother up three times. 
I was too small to do anything about it. 
These things are very, very painful to 
think about today. 
PLAYBOY: Do you have any pleasant mem- 
ories of those years? 
cosy: Well, I dug cars, and still do. But 
1 didn't actually have one unt 
years old, when I bought 
for $75, and I loved it, loved 
the baldest tires in the world. A cue ball 
has more grip than those tires did. 1 
called it the Black Phantom. I did every- 
thing with that car! When I was a 
teenager, it was a big thing when one of 
the guys іп the neighborhood got a set 
of wheels. There was a guy named Char- 
ley Wades, whose father gave him a car 
Now, Charley almost like а cib- 
driver; if you wanted to go to a party 
im, you had to have some money 
to chip in for gas. Charley would say. 
"You can bitch about me charging yo 
for the gas. but that’s the only thing I'm 
charging you for. You're only giving me 
a quarter for gas, but what about my 
tires and my sparkplug? What about 
my scars that you're rubbing your ass 
оп? Where were you when I had to 
тейле my seats? І didn't d 
nothing for that, So you're getting away 
clean, man.” 

And then there was the time Andy 
Patterson's father gave him a 1946 Olds, 
which, by the time Andy got it, was the 
saddest and slowest thing in north Phil- 
ly. One night we double«lated and Andy 
had put old Army blankets over the са 
seats. I don't know what kind of rodent 
eats foam rubber, but Andy had two of 
the biggest holes 1 ever saw in his [ront 
seat; and when he forgot to tell a chick 
about them, she just about disappeared 
when she sat down, The covers went 
over her head and her can hit the bot 
tom of the car. We all laughed about it, 
pulled her out and then drove into a gas 
station. It’s raining and cold and the 
gasstation guy is sitting in his little office 
when Andy bonks the horn. The guy 
gets up, puts on his ra nd hat and. 
comes around the car, slips and falls flat 


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PLAYBOY 


78 


on his behind. And we start laughing 
again. The guy gets up, soaking wet, and 
limps up to the window. Andy rolls it 
down and says, “Gimme nineteen cents! 
worth of regular.” And the guy walks 
away, goes back into his office and just 
sits there, shaking his head, just shaking 
head. Those were the days when, to 
us, almost nothing mattered except cars. 
PLAYBOY: Did you continue your romance 
with cars when you became successful? 
cosey: Three years alter I bought the 
Black Phantom, I started appearing in 
night clubs and оп TV shows, and 
the first thing I did was go out and buy 
а 1955 Mercedes-Benz 30051. for $5000. I 
put a down payment on it and drove 
across country, from Philadelphia to 
Francisco. I figure I p: 
е bills to keep 
ich mechanic I met would зау, "Umm, 
the car don't sound right, Bill,” and I'd 
say, "OK, fix it.” And I would ride the 
buses again, waiting for the car to be 
fixed, because parts had to be flown in 
from places like Egypt and San Diego 
and Mars 

One пірім, I was playing the Crescen- 
do in Los Angeles and Theodore Bikel 
came to see me—we'd been good friends 
in Greenwich Village—and he invited 
те to go out for coffee. So "Theodore's 
car comes up and it’s a Corvette with 
WE SHALL OVERCOME and FREEDOM NOW 
bumper stickers plastered all over it—so 
you couldn't even sce the chrome. 
Then up comes my Mercedes and he says 
to me: “What the hell did the Nazis ever 
do for you?" The next day, I sold it for 


$2500 and bought a Chrysler Imperial. 
But that was too heavy a car, so I went 
io a Chrysler station wagon, then a 


Plymouth station. wagon, and I didn't 
like either of them. Finally, I said to my 
wife, Camille: "Every car we get, we're 
trying to get away from the stereotype of 
the Negro with the lillac: but I don't 
care what anybody says the Cadillac is 
the best car in the world, and I'm buy- 
ing one." So I went and bought an El- 
dorado and it was gr 
appens that most of my 
ners or ath- 
letes, and Bill Russell came to the house 
when we had this two-door Fldorado, a 
$7500 car. My wife and I are up front 
and Russell and his girl are like two 
preuels in the back. So we decided to get 
rid of it and 1 bought a Rover. which 
has a little more room іп the back. 
Later, 1 owned a Rolls-Royce limousine 
for a while and drove it myself; but I got 
rid of it pretty quick, because а Rolls 
looks weird without a chauffeur front 
and I didn’t want anybody driving me 
around. I've always loved Ferraris, so 1 
have one of those now. I gave my wile 
Excalibur, and I also have a 1934 
Aston Martin, but I wouldn't take that 
car out on the road, 1 got rid of the 
Rover, so now I own only three cars; 1 
think I'm starting to come out of it. 


PLAYBOY: Your success came quickly. Did 
you spend the bread as fast as it came 
in? 

соѕвү: When I really started making it, 
I did. Everything had to be gold—tie 
clips, cuff links; 1 even went through the 
diamond-ring bit—the whole thing, but 
only for а couple of months. That's all it 
takes to take the edge off your desire to 
own things. I don't think this is necessar- 
ily a phase for most people who start 
lot of money; but if you've 
come from a poor neighborhood, you 
tend to start buying like there's no to- 
morrow. "There are stores that thrive on 
that kind of thing, stores that challenge 
you to walk in. It's almost like that store 
is saying, “I don't think you can afford 
it” So а guy goes in and he says, "I can 
100 afford nd оГ 
store. I bought ice buckets, all kinds of 
expensive ashtrays, a humidor, lighters 
and a clock that tells the time all over 
the world; it takes me about an hour to 
find out what time it is in California, I 
most of that stuff one room, 
h my wife calls Cosby's Dunhill. 
PLAYBOY: Is being rich as much fun as 
you thought it would be? 

COSBY: I don't really think of myself as 
being rich. To me, a some 
body who can retire and live off his 
money any time he wants to, and I can't. 
Fd like to wind up with an income of 
$50,000 a year when I retire; but with 
the cure the way it is, that's 
posible to do, unless I make 
investments in things like land that over 
a long peri 
of my money. I wouldn't blame you, 
though, if you said, "What's he com 
plaining for? He's a millionaire.” 
PLAYBOY: Are you? 

COSBY: Last year, | earned $2,000,000— 
but that isn't $2,000,000 in the pocket. 
There's an agent fee, а man. 
a building for my corporation. 
accountant [rom whom vou learn you're 
really broke; that now, in fact, you're 
worse off, in a way, than if you'd just 
taken a gig as a schoolteacher. Almost 
every cent is spent; and every penny you 
make, you got Uncle Sam taking ош 70 
percent after expenses. And now there's 
cats coming to me because they've read 
some bullsl article about me, 
Newsweek's, saying I'm going to get 
$50,000,000 from CBS for 20 years and 
that my record albums have earned, like, 
$8,000,000. So, аз soon as cats hear this, 
they all got business deals to propose. 
PLAYBOY: Do many of them try to put the 
touch on you? 

COSBY: All of them—and they don't just 
ask for five bucks, either. They want it 
all. First time a guy says to me, “Hey, 
you got a minute?,” right away I know 
I'm being hit for bread. It used to take 
me a while to get up the nerve to say it, 
but now 1 can do it automatically 
Here's my card. See me at the office and 


put 


Ill listen to you." I usually have to 
shout this over the sound of the band at 
some jazz joint, because that's wh 
they've decided I've got to hear th 


plan, Well, 90 percent of these cats, 
when you say that to them, come back 
with, "If you don't want to hear it now, 
man, then forget it, ‘cause I got a good 


thing going. 
something legi 


But let's say а cat has 
imate; if I tell him the 


bread isn't there—which it isn't—he. 
t believe me, and he's going to wind 
up putting me down. But let me tell you 


that in 1968, I had ro scrape up—and 
get a loan from the bank for—$833,000 
in taxes. 

PLAYBOY: In spite of the tax bite, you still 
have what most people would consider a 
lot of money at your disposal. How do 
you spend it? 
CosBY: Quickly. My home cost $250,000, 
plus $100,000 worth of furniture. But it's 
a home, not a palace with chandeliers 
hanging and white rugs and things you 
can't walk on or sit on. You come into 
my house and you can sit on my sofa 
and take your shoes off and plop your 


feet up on the table. People live there, 
not a m. 


d and a butler people. 
le; nothing is closed ой. 1 
cost $17,000, and ir's air condi- 
tioned, because I remember Philly sum- 
mers riding around with friends of mine 
in an old 1946 Chevy: we would be 
sweating and we'd have to drive fast to 
make some breeze. І like groovy steaks; I 
like to serve a great wine to my fricnds 
when they come by, even though 1 don't 
drink. I remember one time when I was 
a kid and read that Mitzi Gaynor was 
going to get $50,000 for playing a week 
п Las Vegas and saying to myself, “God, 
that's a lot of bread." Tt was so totally 
out of proportion to what I dreamed of, 
even when I started making $400 a week. 
There's a tremendous gap between where 
I used to live and what I used to do and 
where I am now. And I dig it. 

PLAYBOY: In the midst of your own luxu- 
ry. do you ever feel guilty when you 
think about the poverty in which most 
black Americans arc forced to live? 

соѕвү: When I first started making big 
money, I felt guilty, I guess. But now I 
feel that I've really put together a hell of 
а oneman antipoverty program. I took 
my talent and I put it to work, 
today, Гус brought up, by the hootst 
the economic conditions of a mother, 
father, two brothers, aunts, uncles, grand- 
fathers and other family members, and 
then reached out to help close friends. 
The next step is to help out other black 
people. This doesn’t simply mean givi 
them $500,000—although I give plenty. 
But to me, reaching out to black people 
means to open up my particular part of 
the industry. My production companies 
will have black apprenticeship programs 
vill use black actors, directors and 
nds. After they've demonstrated, 


PLAYBOY 


80 


their talents and people dig ‘em, they can 
h is why I 
lented black perforiners like 
<traordinaire and Leon Bibb. 
шесі my audience, the 


names. So I don't 


then go on their own. wh 
tour with t 


feel guily about having bread. Now, 
when ] meet a guy in the ghetto, of 
couse he’s going to be envious, but ће 
doesn't necessarily resent me for i 


there's a whole lot of cats in the ghetto 
to whom / Spy was something to be proud 
of, in а way. I certainly was, and I ca 
only thank one man for making it ha 
pen: Sheldon Leonard. 

PLAYBOY: How did vou meet h 
cosey: It was really funny, man, and it 
1 funny. T went into this business 
Mel Brooks and Сап 


act that any se 
ness could suddenly 
be created. So I decided to go into show 
business to do this kind of comedy. I fig- 
ured I'd ev ly need a partner. but 
then 1 go on television, do two or three 
guest shots, and suddenly I'm playing at 
the Crescendo in Los Angeles. Remember, 
now, I'm in show business for two years, 
and Carl Reiner comes by to scc the 
show and afterward he says, "I loved 
your show, man." Well, of course, I'm 
stunned. Like, Carl Ri —one half of 
the 2000-ycar-old-man thing—came to sce 
me! Now. this militancy and 
Witus and Deuroit, was still 
something else for a white star to come 
see а black шап. And he says “My 
producer, Sheldon Leonard, wants to see 
you. He couldn't be here tonight, but he 
loves your work.” 

The next morning, I went to Shel- 
don's office, hoping that perhaps he 
would give me a guest shot on The Dick 
Van Dyke Show. Now, mind you, І 
couldn't act at all; I'd never done any 
acting, except а couple of lies to my 
moth I walked into Sheldon's office 
and he talks to me, not about doing a 
Van Dyke Show but about a new serics 
that would co-star a black man and 
white man. They're going to be spies 
and theyre going to travel to Hong 
Kong. Now, here I am, my first time in 
. only the third time I’ve ever 
been out of Pennsy and this guy is 
talking about Hong Kong. That knocked 
me out of my chair more than the serie 
1 said. “Travel to Hong Kong? This 
program is going to pay my way to Hong 
Kong?" And Sheldon is telling me һе 
thinks I've got the particular personality 
that will work for his show and that all I 
have to do is put the same thing on TV 
that I do in my stand-up act, and that'll 
be my job. Then he says. like, "Can you 
" And I say, “You must be high. You 
didn't scc me when 1 did Othello i 
Central Park last year, did 


na sce the original Chinese people. the 
ones I've read about.” So I get back to 
my manager, Roy Silver, and I tell him, 
Don't let this cat olf the hook, "cause il 
hes blowing smoke, were not letting 
him get out of it” Well, Sheldon said 
he'd get in touch with mc а year later. 
And he did. 

PLAYBOY: Before the show actually 
ler it reported thi 
didn't want to play a hip valet, since no 
matter how hip you were, you'd still be 
a white man's servant. Was this trucz 
COSBY: I had to find out a lot of things 
from Sheldon before I signed. Like. was 
I going to carry a gun? І wanted to 


you 


make sure that I didn't have to go off 
into the bushes when an I Spy fight 
started. They said I didn't. So Bob Culp 


1 1 fought the international Commi 
nist conspiracy on an equal basis. I must 
tell you, though, that the show wouldn't 


have been what it was if it hadn't. been 
for Bob. 

PLAYBOY: Had you met him before you 
started working together? 


cossy: No. I met him when the show 
began filming. But he did send me a 
letter not too long after Sheldon had 
first talked to me, when 1 was playing 
Mister Kelly's in Chicago. The letter said 
that two guys going to do a series must 
at they are married. Right 
k, and I had only 
been in the business around three years. 
Here w ctor telling me 1 have to 
marry hım. That upset me a luk 
PLAYBOY: How did it go when you finally 
got together with Culp? 

Cossy: The first time I saw Bob was the 
first day we read for the series; I walked 
in and we shook hands, but we didn't 
really have a chance to talk before they 
gave us scripts. Then it was the moment 
of truth for me: АЙ of the fears, anxi- 
сиез and apprehensions were bubbling 
and boiling, because now I had to prove 
myself, Although the producers were 
me, they w 
Т could act. Vd never read а sin 
for Sheldon Leonard—and 
th 
ing half a million dollars on a guy whose 
comedy routine he liked, it becomes a 
hell of a gamble. Well, they listened, and 
I was embarrassed, because ] was no 
good—really no good. I fumbled and 
mumbled and couldn't concentrate or do 
g right. 

frerward, Bob and I got together 
and talked and, at Bob's suggestion, we 
agreed to make the rclagonship between 
the white character, Kelly Robinson, and 
the black man, Alexander Scott, a beau- 
tiful relationship, so that people could 
sce what it would be like if two cats like 
that could get along. Bob's a fine actor 
and a fine human being. He could have 
made it rough for me: he could have 
mace me paranoid with criticism, because 
my ego came into play. At the time, I was 


when 


you 
k about that, about a producer bank- 


a pretty well-known, up-and-coming com- 
іс and if he'd been rough on ше, 
would haye becn too сазу for me to say 
to myself, "What do I need all this for?" 
In other words, if Bob hadn't been th 
great guy he is. I might have copped out 
PLAYBOY: Were you still nervous when 
the filming actually began? 
СОЅВҮ: It was really weird, n 
comedian, I can walk out in front of 
5000 people and not worry about a thing. 
Not a thing, believe me. But 10 stand up 
and face a camera and crew of maybe 15 
guys and get up tight about it—to me. 
that's weird. It took a lot of weeks before 
І felt relaxed and able to do my ıl 
without being self-conscious. 
PLAYBOY: How did you feel about playing 
d. in a real sense, glamorizing а CLA 
agent? 

COSBY: Well, actually, the CIA never let 
us say we were CIA agents. 

PLAYBOY: But, in сНесі, you werc, weren't 
you? 

cossy: In effect, yes. But the important 
thing to me, man, was to pet а black face 
on the screen and let him be a hero. I 
would have done it regardless of what the 
CIA's image was at the tini id the 
series was conceived and d p well 
before the CIA got to be a heavy. I 
very, very happy—forget the CIA—that 
a black man was able to be on an equal 
basis with the show's white he 
PLAYBOY: One continuing criticism of the 
show's stories was that Bob Culp always 
got the girls, which seemed to таке him 
Пе more equal than you. Did you 
resent that? 

COSBY: If you weren't a steady viewer, 
you might have missed some of Scouy’s 
love stories. But that concerned me less 
than the fact that Sheldon Leonard 
didn't hire me as a tol He said he 
wanted to use a Negro. Now, at that 
particular time, how was the black man 
accepted by the public ГИ tell you: 
Before we even got the first show on the 
air, writers and poll takers had picked us 
to wind up 97th out of 100 shows. We 
ally were going to work J Spy li 
a funny Lone Ranger and Tonto, where- 
in I would supply the humor. I accepted 
that, man, because that’s the way it w: 
there was nothing dsc going. I felt I 
could surely bring some things out in 


an, As a 


awn 


this character, because here was a guy 
who carried а gun and knew karate, so 


at least he was going to be able to shoot 
and fight. As long as Scotty wasn't going 
to let the other cat beat up the bad guys 
alter he got knocked out, as long as he 
wasn’t going to be carried home so he 
could do the paperwork, I felt it would 
be OK. Bob. by the way, wrote the first 
1 Spy script іп which 1 was interested 
n a woman—who turned out to be 
Eartha Кіп. 

PLAYBOY: How did you develop the char- 
acter of Scout? 

COSBY: Well, the first thing I decided 


ч 
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a 


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PLAYBOY 


was to make this guy, who was so intelli- 
gent on paper, a real human being. If 
you know a guy who has a Ph.D. or a 
master’s, you know he kind of respects 
what he has, but he doesn't talk as if he’s 
always conscious of the degrec. He'll say 
E and "got" and "Im gonna,” all 
the time knowing technically, gramm; 
cally what's going on. So 1 decided to 
make Alexander Scott this kind of guy— 
a guy who grew up in the ghetto, who 
went ro school and took on middle-class 
values, who was trying to live like the 
white middle class. But he always knew 
he was black, with a real degree of blick 


you feel you had 
Scott really pegged? 

cosey: After about the seventh story, I 
felt I could kind of walk into it. Tt was 


PLAYBOY: Did you feel, as many critics 
did, that I Spy's scripts were often sec 
ondary to the banter between you and 
Culp? 

соѕвү: Bob and I—and the producers— 
wanted the shows to һауе stronger sto- 
ries, but we never really got them. They 
became watered-down mystery plots. And 
our third year, a couple of the shows 
turned out to be walking National Geo- 
graphic magazines; our backs would be to 
the camera and you could sce the Асы 


over the edge of a 
Mediterranean. 
PLAYBOY: Were you relieved or d 
pointed when the show was canceled 
after its third season? 

COSBY: Both. When I first got the news, 
1 felt, like, “I'm free"; but after a few 
minutes, 1 started thinking about all 
those hours І would have oll. 1 started 
thinking about our producers—Sheldon 
Leonard, Morton Fine and David Fried- 
kin—and how unhappy they had 10 һе, 
About all the grips and people who 
from the show. And then I 
d about all the things we could 
wb should have—done on Ше 
show. Bu t isn't the way TV is set 
up. We were there to make the dollar. 
The only way I can look at it is that we 
were in 74th place after three years and 
to go into a fourth season wouldn't have 
made much sense. So NBC decided to 
shoot a brand-new show that went 
hour and cost only half as much as 1 Spy. 
inally. it was just a matter of eco- 
nomics. But we had some new things in 
mind for the fourth year, and I'm kind 
we didn't get a chance to do 


What were they? 

COSBY: Well, our producers had opened 
their eyes and ears to us. It was easier for 
Bob and me to kidnap a producer and 
lock him up for Colum- 
bia studenis to get their grievances taken 
care of, We got Sheldon to agree to more 
love stories for me in the fourth season, 


also to more scripts for Bob carrying a 
whole show by himself. And, for dessert, 
we wanted to bring the boys together in 
a couple of stories where there'd be по 
script, no nothing; they'd just walk 
around kind of improvising. So it would 
have been а new show. 

PLAYBOY: To а very real extent, your role 
in 1 Spy helped open up the television 
industry to black performers Do you 
think the representation of Negroes on 
TV has improved enough since you began 
the series іп 196: 
cosay: Well, we've certainly come a long 
way from black cats who were bug-eyed, 
afraid of ghosts and always saying things 
like “Feet, don't leave me now." Guys 
like Mantan Moreland. Step Fetchit 
and Willie Best never hit anybody, never 
fought back and were always scared 
vhite, And we don’t see the mass stu 
ity of Amos "n' Andy anymore. That 
show still gets to me, man. Each time 1 
name an Amos "n Andy character, try to 
imagine these guys as white, and you 
won't be able to: You had Lightnin’, who 
was slow in every possible way; Calhoun, 
the lawyer who never got anybody out of 
rouble and never went into court pre- 
1; Kingfish, the conniver, who was 
always saying, "Yeah, but brother Andy 
ind Andy himself, who w "t too 
bright, either. Like, nobody оп that show 
was bright except Amos, the cabdriver, 
who we hardly ever heard from. And then 
there was Kingfish’s wife, Sapphire: every 
time he came through t door, she'd be 
chewing him out for something. Now, 
audiences weren't supposed to laugh 
with these people; they were supposed to 
laugh at them, because they were so 
dumb. And while that show was on, 
there was nothing clse on the air to 
counterbalance these stereotypes. It was 
most as if Poles were exclusively pre- 
sented as characte Polish jokes. Well, 
you're just not going to believe that all 
Polish people are really dumb; but if 
that's all you got to sce about ‘em, you 


thing about Jewish people hoarding 
money. You have to show things besides 
stereotypes. 

PLAYBOY: Do vou think that a series 
a nonstereotyped all-black cast could be 
successful on TV toda 
COSBY: Probably not. The kind of show 
you mean would have to bc about the 
life of a black family, with all its strug- 
gles. But if you're really going to do a 
series about a black family, you're going 
to have to bring ош the h ad who 
is the heavy but the white bigot? This 
would be very painful for most whites to 
see, a show tha bout the white 
man and puts h . It would strike 
indifferent whites would 


bly wouldn't want to tune in. But when 
there's a right and a wrong, where's the 
controversy? The white bigot is wrong. 


The indifferent person sitting on the fence 
is wrong. Instead of having occasional 
shows that present the black viewpoint on 
educational channels, the networks should 
there pitching now 
PLAYBOY: Isn't the widening employ 
of black actors in featured roles on 
hopeful sign that tele 
racial stereotyping is coming to an cnd? 
COSBY: I think it’s a positive thing that 
most of the new shows have a black 
member of the cast; when I started f 
Уру, about the only blacks on TV were 
maids and butlers. It’s still tokenism, bui 
I would rather see a cat who is standing 
tall as a token than nobody at all. And 
the acceptance of black people on televi- 
sion means that when enough shows are 
seen by enough whites, they'll get used 
to it, with the result that black people 
will be able to do more things in this 
society. There's also the important mat- 
ter of black identification. Let's forget 
hatred and bigotry for the moment; let's 
pretend. they don't exist, Now, I have 
black sl When I look at TV, I have to 
identify with what I sec, and all I saw 
when I was growing up was the white 
upper class or white middle class or 
white lower class. So it was white Ameri 
ca that I identified with, that I studied 
and tried to emulate as 1 grew up. Now, 
a black kid can try to act like a white 
but there's just no way he can. 
white American. So when TV begins 
black people, it’s performing 
service to the black community; 
that’s the way I felt about being in Z Spy. 
PLAYBOY: You won three consecutive Em- 
mys for I Spy, and your comedy LPs won 
vou four consecutive Grammys. Which 
meant more to you? 

cosBY: They all mean the same to me: 
that I'm a winner; that I've been chosen 
by the people of my profesion, regard- 
less of who they are, as the best. I think 
if 1 could take the awards and do what 
I really wanted with them, I'd probably 
Scotch-tape them onto the hood of 
car and kind of drive around with a 
itle smile on my face, Because Em really 
proud of them, man. But you're supposed 
to be very cool about these things and 
tuck the Emmys and the Grammys away 
in the corner of some room, so that no- 
body will think you're vain and con- 
ceited. The greatest moment of an award, 
though. is when they announce your 
name, the moment when you're expected 
to say thank you. Then it's on to the next 
thing; you can't hang around bathing 
your body in the reflection of a trophy. 
PLAYBOY: Onc of. the things you seem to 
be going on to next is singing. You have 
two vocal and one of your 
ingles. Litlle Old Man, was a pop hit 
two years ago. Arc you going to try to 
make it as big in singing as you have in 
comedy? 

COSBY: No; singing is just something I 
like to do. 1 like rhythm and blues and 
I'm thinking about cutting another blues 


With Yashica's Electro 35 
one's enough 


Examine this subtle Charles Varon shot critically. It's а 
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in the dress that mustn't get lost. 

How would cover photographer Varon take it? With the 
remarkable Yashica Electro 35, whose radically different 
electronic shutter gets it perfectly in any light, the first time, 
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You can do it too, at a very unprofessional $115 plus case 
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83 


PLAYBOY 


B4 


album, but I don't even come close to 
having any kind of a voice. ИЗ just a 
hobby-—like some guys like to golf. They 
don't play a good game, but they're out 
on the course every morning. I don't 
shoot a good game of rhythm and blues, 
but I got my cap and clubs and shoes, 
and I go sing. 

PLAYBOY: Your first film—a remake of 
Here Comes Mr. Jordan—will be re- 
leased sometime this fall. Do you have 
the same trepidations about going into 
movies that you did before you became 
а television star? 

COSBY: Not as many as then, but I'm 
entering a new field, and that means I've 
got a new audience to win oven it 
doesn’t matter about past awards or that 
when you play a city, you draw 17,000 
people for a one-night stand. This is a 
new thing and you've got to make a new 
impression. But I hope to have better 
scripts than I did on TV, and I hope to 
do things that have broader scope. 
PLAYBOY: At this point, how would you 
assess yourself as an actor? 

cosay: I think I have a personality tal 
ent. 1 can play a sensitive guy and also a 
funny guy, caught in a funny situation. 
You won't see me going into Brandoish 
depths or trying to compete with Sir 
Laurence Olivier on Shakespeare. But I 
feel I have the intelligence and the tal- 
ent to be a big star: I really believe that. 
This isn't conceit; it’s just that 1 know 
I can do and, by this time, 1 also 
know that by doing things the way I 
want to do them, people will be for me. 
PLAYBOY: Do you ever worry that your 
popularity will wane and that you'll no 
longer be able to c; the kind of moncy 
you're presently pulling inz 

совву: І have a great fear of winding up 
broke; I guess that would be about the 
most embarrassing thing that could һар 
pen to me. Because, if I do wind up 
broke, my moth ill blame it all on 
the cigars I smoke; my father will 
because of all the expens 
bought at Dunhill’s; and my wife will 
say it's from all Ше charitable organiza- 
tions I've given to. So to avoid all th 
S 1 said before, I'm involved in long- 
range investments—like land—that will 
eventually bring me an income of about 
550,000 а усаг. Maybe onc day, ГИ have 
made such heavy bread that even Sam 
won't be able to penetrate it, and then 
1 hope I'I be set for the rest of my life. 
Because I really do plan to get out of 
show business within five years or so. 
PLAYBOY: Completely? 

cosay: No. I'm not going to make a 
total break with show business. because, 
to me. that would almost be | 
tion. I think ГЇЇ be doing occasional TV 
specials and appearances, a little less 
than the kind of thing Bob Hope does. 
I'm going to just take my liile bundle 
nd let all those handshaking, graft- 
330,000-a-year politicians know 


they won't have to worry about me stand- 
ing in any unemployment line. 
PLAYBOY: What will you do with yourself? 
COSBY: | plan to teach in a junior high 
school, which is where kids become glan- 
dularly aware of being male and female. 
Early adolescence is a very dificult time 
of life for ghetto kids, because people to 
look up to, like I said earlier, are scarce 
in a poor neighborhood. In middle- and 
upper-middle-dass neighborhoods, kids 
have their fathers to look up to—college 
graduates or skilled workmen. In lower- 
class neighborhoods, kids look up to the 
gambler's skills—skills that work openly 
against the law. Poor kids have no image 
that teaches them the value of educa- 
tion. It has to do with what they're 
taught in history classes, too; I'd want to 
show kids there are black heroes to be 
proud of, so they have a different kind 
of cat to look up to. Because, let's face 
most of the black people we admire are 
running that race or hitting that ball or 
dribbling it down-court. And so black 
girls hope to marry a guy who'll become 
a professional athlete, And the guy hopes 
10 become a pro, gocs to college without 
knowing about or being ready for college, 
ys ball and often never graduates. 
Without teaching а subject in particular, 
I want to help put those kids on to find- 
ing out what they really want to do in 
lit 
PLAYBOY; But schools aren't set up for 
classes without any particular subject. 
созвү: No, they're not—but that doesn't 
mean they won't be. In small towns, the 
church and the school are the center of 
things; functions are held at both and 
the pastor and the teacher know all the 
parents. No school is like that in the big 
cit Instead, school is the building 
whose windows you break in the sum- 
mertime; its the building with the yard 
where you play penny poker games. It 
isn't the connecting ground it should be 
for kids. Children grow up thinking that 
all teachers are Ichabod nes but 
teachers are just underpaid human beings 
who aren't supposed 10 strike. For every 
successful human being, there are at least 
three or four teachers who inspired them 
10 become what they are today; but the 
teachers never get any of the credit. When 
I was in school, I remember a teacher 
telling те Га better study or else I'd 
grow up to be a garbage man. I you 
look at what the ave: ige collector 
makes and what the average schoolteacher 
makes, I think the garbage man is prob- 
ably telling his kids thevd better not 
study or else they're going to 
schoolteachers, 

PLAYBOY: In last December's Playboy In- 
terview, Black Panther leader Eldridge 
1 that unless black demands. 
y the result 
second Civil War . . . plunging 
о the depths of its most des 
himare." In view of your р 


d up as 


Clcaver 


регине 


to teach black children, form black pro- 
duction companies and continue your 
entertainment career, it would seem that 
you don't agree with Cleaver’s evaluation 
of America’s future. 

cossy: I'm not in favor of raising guns, 
but I don't think Cleaver would be, 
either, if he thought there was any other 
way to solve the racial situation in this 
country. A lot of black men feel that 
way. and I can't say they're wrong, be- 
cause America's resistance to giving the 
black man a fair shake is almost unbe- 
lievably strong. And when black people 
keep butting their heads against the 
stone wall of racism, there are those who 
feel they have to become violent. 

Look, there can’t be an argument over 
the fact that we should have equality in 
America. But the white man doesn't 
want us to have it. because then he'll be 
giving up a freedom of his—to reject us 
because of color. I really believe that 
black people could march until the end 
of the world and the majority of whites 
still wouldn't want to give up what they 
see as their precious right to be racists 
Whites should realize t, under these 
conditions, it’s only natural for some of 
those marchers to finally say. “Shit, man, 
this ain't gettin’ us nowhere. The best 
thing to do is throw a goddamn bomb 
into the building.” When Martin Luther 
King was murdered, 1 felt that his death 
Je the nonviolent approach appear 
у black people. 

PLAYBOY: Stokely Carmichael and others 
id that Dr. King's murder marked the 
asing of nonviolence. Do you agree 
with them? 

соѕвү: Martin Luther King was a good 
teacher of the nonviolent philosophy 
and a great leader. I think his philoso- 
phy is still as nx ngful today as when 
he live. It was well before his death 
broke away from попі 
well before his death 


being. But I don't think people ca 
bitrarily be put into neat categories of 
jolent or nonviolent. I can tell you that 
I don't believe in kuing black people 
get pushed around when they're in the 
Tight. If a lot of black people no long 
er believe in nonviolence, it’s because 
they've lost all faith and trust in white 
men. Black people have lain in the streets 
and theyve let whites hit them in the 
head with everything from clubs to ketch: 
wp boules They've ler themselves bc 
called niggers and have still somehow 
managed to walk tall and show that they 
still believe in nonviolence, that this 
them better than those 

But they've ta 
this abuse, and for what? How far ha 
it really gotten them? Many intelligent 
and educated black people are tired. just 
plain tired, of being noble, of not strik- 
g back. And I think that a lot of white 


England is 
And“London 


“London Dry” is a type of gin. It 
means the gin contains no sweetness. 

It doesn’t necessarily mean that / 
it’s made in London. A “London Dry" 
gin can come from Cincinnati, Peoria or 
even Linden, New Jersey. 

However, there is quite a bit of dif- 
ference between an English-sounding 
gin and a gin actually distilled and bot- 
tled in London, England. 

Consider if you will, the most fa- 
mous of all imported gins. Beefeater. 

Since 1820, Beefeater has been 
noted for its delicate and distinguished 
taste. To the fastidious, Beefeater is the 
first name for the martini. 

Beefeater's identifiable excellence 
is due in no small part to the personal 
supervision of the Burrough family. 
Beefeater is the only gin in London pro- 
duced by the family of the original foun- 
der. To this day, eacli distillation must 
be sampled and approved by a family 
member. Each bottle is numbered and 
recorded. 

Taste a Beefeater yourself. You'll 
find it a charming geography lesson. 


DISTIL 


PLAYBOY 


86 


people secretly hope that the Negro will 
renounce nonviolence. 

PLAYBOY: Why? 

cossy: Because it would give whites 
excellent reason to go ahead and striki 
they think force is the сазісі way to 
solve the problem. Not necessarily a war, 
but some Jaw that would quietly march 
us off into concentration camps until we 
learned that this is (Лей country 
PLAYBOY: As you know, most whites think 
the concentration-camp theory is а myt 
COSBY: Look, it’s possible to have cor 
centration camps іп Chicago—or іш al- 


n 


most any large city—by simply blocking 
off the ghetto, putting barbed wire 
around it and not letting anybody in or 


out. This isn’t going to happen until we 
give the whites le more of a reason 
for putting us in a concentration camp, 
but it isn't too far away. Black people 
are not going to stop burning their own 
neighborhoods for a while, but if noth- 
ing is accomplished as a result of this, 
they'll become even more desperate; and 
when there's nothing left to burn in 
black neighborhoods, they're going to 
spread out—into white neighborhoods, 
into downtown districts, to hit those 
stores. Farfetched as it may sound, black 
people will actually go to war if they're 
driven to it. Not all black people, but 
the ones who feel they're willing to give 
up their lives 
country, to bring America to 
Tm not talking about just burn 
buildings but about black gue 
ting wires, darkening the cities, ending 
as. All-out war. 

PLAYBOY: Of course, black people couldn't 
possibly win such a war. Don't you think 
it could result only in massive repression 
and bloodshed? 

cosy: Yes, I do, and there's just no 
arguing that point. The terrible thing is 
that there's no way the troops are going 
to be able to distinguish between the 
bomb throwers and people who are 
peacefully sitting in their homes. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think this war can be 
averted? 

соввү: "That's up to the white man. He's 
at the point now where he will either 
have to allow the black man his civil 
rights or ty to wipe him out. History 
has shown, I think, that in order for the 
black man to achieve a positive response 
to his protests, he has to keep escalating 
his methods of dissent, not because he 
nts to but because the white cstab- 


Is knees. 


lishment forces him to. We have been 


forced to go from singing to sitins to 
marching to letting them beat us up, to 
watching them burn and bomb our 
churches and assassinate our leaders and, 
now, into being cocrced into burning 
our own neighborhoods. The next step із 
to start slaughtering us en masse, and the 
step after that is out-and-out war. 

PLAYBOY: Malcolm X often claimed that 
“the squeaky hinge gets the oil”. 


"—that 


America redresses black grievances only 
in response to violence, Вас if shooting 
were to break out tomorrow on а nation: 
al scale, do you think it’s likely that the 
white establishment, with its domestic 
order threatened, would respond by en- 
suring equality for black people? 
cossy: Well, this much is certain 
be the hinge's loudest possible squ 
But I really chink that, all along, the 
е man has been oiling the hinge with 
the secret intention of slamming the door. 
And when he finally slams it shut for 
good—and has his genocidal war—he 
won't have to worry about the squeak 
anymore, What will be left won't exacily 
be a country, but at least the place will 
be well run. Except that America will 
have to find someone else to dance to its 
music. The Mexicans will folk-dance for 
a while, id then there's the Puerto 
Ricans, and then the Chinese people 
will be dancing; but soon enough, that 
squeaky-hinged door will be slammed 
shut, too—and. padlockcd. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think the world will sit 
by and quietly watch while all this js 
ppening? 

COSBY: As long as most of the world 
powers are white, why no? When the 
French, Poles and Czechs come oft 
the boat, they're welcomed to America, 
“the land of the free, the home of the 
brave.” The Statue of Liberty welcomes 
them, but it doesn’t welcome the т 
who was born here—the black man. 
There's no lamp lit for him; so the black 
man has to climb up there and light it 
himself. World opinion? If all these 
European countries are so groovy, then 
how come when their guys get off the 
boat, they turn out to be bigors? 
PLAYBOY: If the world is ready to passive- 
ly witness genocide in the U. S, doesn’t 
black violence, as preached by militants 
like Rap Brown, strike you as ill advised, 
to say the least? 

cossy: Rap and the other militants all 
speak the truth when they let America 
now that the black man is not going to 
take any more bullshit; we've been here 
for 300 years and we've had it with 
waiting. But when Rap makes a speech 
nd says we should get guns and use 
them on Whitey, it doesn’t strike me as 
а cool move tactically. I, for one, would 
never let people know I was planning to 
shoot at them. If you mean it, you just 
don't talk about it. This gocs back to my 
street-corner days. Unless he's got anoth- 
er card to pull out, it’s not the brightest 
cat in the world who stands around 
telling a guy, "I'm gonna get a gun and 
blow your head off.” When the guy sees 
you don't have that gun yet, he pops you 
right in the teeth or, if he's got a gun, he 
uses it on you. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think the easy accessi- 
bility of firearms in America heightens 
racial tensions? 


cossy: The way I look at it is that guns 
are sold to protect whites against blacks. 
The leaders of bigotry have got to keep 
the poor, ignorant white cat really upset 
and nervous, so that their friends the 
gun manufacturers can sell him some 
guns and maybe even some bazookas as 
well. 

LAYBOY: But you'd h to admit that 
the blick militants’ threats are at least 
one of the reasons whites are buying 
guns. 

COSBY: Yes, and you have to admit that 
every time the black man has made a 
nonviolent move to gain acceptance. he's 
been laughed at or cursed or hosed down 
or killed. 

PLAYBOY: You secm 10 be saying that race 
war is inevitable. Is that what you be- 
ve? 

CosBY: I hope it’s not inevitable, but I 
t know. I think if we really want to 
make sure noth 
we have to get on the si 
maybe it can be avoided. 
know the answers. 

PLAYBOY: What arc they? 
cossy: Well, if it’s not too late already, 
one answer is through black political 
power, such as what happened in Cleve- 
nd with Carl Stokes and in Gary with 
Richard Hatcher being elected mayor. 
But that doesn't solve the problems even 
in those cities, becuse if the administra 
tion doesn’t have black people on its 
board of directors or as city planners, 
there's very little that a mayor сап ac 
tually do. Supposedly, the mayor has 
power, but he's only as powerful as the 
various city boards that go along with 
hin 
PLAYBOY: Do you think that clected 
officials such as Stokes and Hatcher. will 


doi 


ing like it ever happens, 


k now, and just. 
Because we 


be able to persuade white city board 
members to go along with them on plans 


for improving black. hborhoods? 
COSBY: If they're not able to, it won't be 
because they haven't tried. They were 
elected by black people; and if they 
want to be reelected, theyll have to 
produce, But the black politician of to- 
day knows that his people don't really 
trust him. Especially if he has a white 
man over him, in which case he'll be 
called the white man’s pol 
PLAYBOY: Do you think that many black 
legislators are white men's politicians? 
COsBY: It used to be like that because of 
a policy that dates back to the days of 
slavery, when one black man on a plan- 
tation would be allowed to wi \doors. 
He was called the house nigger and lived 
and ate well, and wouldn't do anything 
to make the boss angry, or else he'd wind 
up in the fields pickin’ that cotton, Black 
politics has always had a little of this 
house-nigger mentality, but now it's 
changing. You can see it in a cat like 
Julian Bond, who could have been a 


en you come on in a Yan Heusen shirt 


і NOR 


the rest come off like a bunch of stiffs. 


7 
SSeS 1 Kodel* 


The people who unstuffed the shirt 


PLAYBOY 


88 


house nigger but who, in effect, said, 
“Now, look, I don't mind working in the 
house, but I just want you to know a 
couple of things,” for which they tried to. 
throw him out of the house—Georgia’s 
Statehouse, But there's still a lot of re- 
sentment and envy of the black politi 
, because the guys working in the 
fields know that the in the house is 
eating real good. They know hes not 
getting chitlins or the last part of the pig 
thrown to him. 
PLAYBOY: Do you feel that the majority of 
recently elected black Congressmen are 
working as hard as they сап to advance 
the cause of black equality? 
COSBY: I'd rather see guys like S. C. L. C.'s 
Jesse Jackson or even Rap Brown in 
Congress than some of the black cats 
who are there now. I think Rap would 
make one hell of а Vice-President; to use 
Dick Gregory's line, nobody would shoot 
the President then. Most black Congress 
men seem like they're just trying to 
belong. But here again, what they may 
be doing is walking that tightrope to 
prove it can be done, to make it casier 
for other black men to get elected. You 
can never tell what a guys philosophy 
may really be, because while we're put- 
ting him down, he might just be quietly 
paving the way for other black legisla- 
tors. That's sometimes in the nature of a 
great sacrifice, especially when we, as sell- 
ish individuals, tend to look only at im- 
mediate results. So Га really like to 
believe that a man like Senator Brooke is 
ng the cats in the Senate a fast shuffle, 
so that he can clear a path for more 
black Senators. If he’s doing that, then 
beautiful. But if he's really into the 
whole Republican thing, if he was genu- 
ne during his campaign for Nixon and 
for that great friend of the black man, 
Spiro Т. Agnew, then Brooke hasn't 
done a thing for us. 
PLAYBOY: What do you think is the single 
most imperative issue that should receive 
top priority from black legislators? 
COSBY: Justice. Police forces and the 
courts have to be overhauled and im- 
proved—really improved. I no longer 
expect a white policeman to jump in 
and protect a black man from being 
struck by a white, because I think their 
sense of white brotherhood—another way 
of saying racism—prevents them from 
identifying with the black or from just 
remaining objective. Police will turn 
their heads away when bricks. rocks or 
fists arc at a black man by 
whites. Not long ago, a white Chicago 
woman kicked a black man in the be- 
hind and punched him in the neck be- 
cause he wanted Negro kids bused to 
school; when the guy defended himself 
against her, the cops arrested him. In 
that case, as in so many others, law and 
order protected the white aggressor. 


thrown 


PLAYBOY: Surely you don't think all white 
cops 
COSBY: Look, let's first talk about what a 
very difficult thing it is to be a police- 
man. And lets talk about a policeman 
who is straight, who gocs about his job 
with an open mind. But because he's a 
cop, he’s got a problem, because he is 
being judged the way we black people 
don't like to be judged; in other words, 
when you sce a policeman, he's a cop. 
And if he’s a white cop, he has a white 
family and he identifies with white 
people; cops aren't machines, you know, 
when it comes to race relations. 

PLAYBOY: Is there any way you see that 
white cops and black people could begin 
getting along better? 

COSBY: I think relations would improve 
ifa міз could invent a mechanized 
helmet cops could wear, which would see 
to it that they enforced the law equally 
for all and which would get them work- 
ing to wipe out crime and corruption i 
every part of society. Then the police- 
man would really be the upholder of law 
and order; he'd be a fighter for justice; 
he'd be what we want him to be—Bat- 
шап, But a cop can't command а neigh- 
borhood's respect when he accepts bribes 
that range from petty cash to some fairly 
heavy bread. 

PLAYBOY: Wouldn't police forgo bribes if 
cities raised their salaries; and wouldn't 
they be better equipped to deal with 
black people if they were also required 
to have special schooling in community 
relations? 

соѕвү; Sure, but a better answer for mc 
is to put black cops in black neighbor- 
hoods. Black cops may be hated as much 
оғ even more than white cops by a lot of 
people in the ghetto, but 1 still think it's 
advisable for at least two reasons: Kids 
could grow up seeing black men in posi- 
tions of authority, and ghetto streets 
wouldn't wind up in charge of а scared 
white cat who thinks the answer to prob- 
lems is to hit people in the head because 
he’s “tired of Jetting them get away with 
.” which is how white cops talk among 
themselves. Listen, if a guy doesn’t want 
to be arrested by the police, it's easy for 
two cops to get the cat into a car without 
punching and beating on him with a 
night stick. 1 once saw a policeman stop 
a harmless old black drunk who was 
mouthing off at him, and the cop just 
punched him out. Now, this to me is not 
Jaw enforcement, because I don't think 
guy learns anything when he’s beaten 
up—except to hate. He certainly doesn't 
learn respect for the law; and when he 
gets to court, if he has any respect for 
the law left, the judges finish that off, 
PLAYBOY. Are you saying that the courts 
are prejudiced? 

cosBv: Cats with dough don't commit 
armed robbery or most of the crimes 


poor people commit. Yet rich guys’ 
crimes—like embezzling а bank or mov. 
g a million dollars’ worth of heroin а 
year hurt a hell of a lot more people 
than some guy who sticks up a candy 
store and gets away with $12; so I think 
something's a little wrong there. When 


the rich man comes to court, he’s got the 
best Lawyers moncy can buy. But the 
poor man, the black man, gets a lawyer 


who's not necessarily interested in the 
азе and may even consider it a pain in 
the ass. And then there's the whole thing 
about underthe-table рауоНв to judges, 
which 1 won't attempt to document but 
h exist, What Fm saying is that 
there are two kinds of justice in this 
country: one for the rich and onc for 
the poor—and blacks are poor. When 
the black people keep getting shafted by 
cops and courts, how can they have re- 
spect for people who arc supposed to 
represent the law? So justice is first on 
my list. After that, I think white people 
will have to show us they believe that 
а policy of segregation is wrong—and 
that'll mean giving the black man an 
equal shot at decent housing, jobs and 
education. 
PLAYBOY: You say segregation is wrong, 
yet many civil rights groups now restrict 
their membership to blacks only. If whites 
want to help and аге rejected by Negroes, 
where do you suggest they go? 
COSBY: Into their own communities to 
teach Шей own people what they fetl. 
PLAYBOY: Doesn't that still add up to 
turning away committed whites? 
COSBY: All the unkept promises and 
half-truths of whites to blacks have re- 
sulted in a great deal of justifiable dis 
trust. I think it's right for the black man 
to be in charge of his own organizations, 
even at the risk of alienating white 
friends; if those white friends resent that, 
1 wonder about the sincerity of those 
friendships. But I'm not really worried 
about black bigotry, because it started 
only recently, when we finally under- 
stood that it was impossible to live any- 
where in America without encountering 
racism. As soon as some real progress is 
made, it'll be hard to find a black bigot, 
because the black man won't have the 
time to be hating anyone. He'll he too 
busy going after that trade apprentice: 
ship or skilled job. 
PLAYBOY: Do you fæl that the present 
generation of young whites is at odds 
with its parents on the race issue? 
СОЅВҮ: I think that the white college 
radicals we read so much about are a 
very tiny percentage of the young people. 
Most white kids grow up listening to 
their parents call black kids niggers, and 
they learn to do the same thing, and 
quickly. Which is why I think white kids 
who want to help black people should 
work their own communities. Blacks 
(continued on page 170) 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


Aman at his happiest when things run smoothly. And to make sure they do, he depends on premium 
rather than price. Facts: PLAYBOY is read by 6,620,000 men 18-34 who purchased gasoline within 
the past three months, 5,760,000 who bought motor oil within the same period—more than any 
other magazine. Looking for high performance? Test the power of PLAYBOY. Nothing else comes 
close in delivering young motorists who call for the premium brands. (Source: 1968 Simmons.) 


New York - Chicago - Detroit - Los Angeles - San Francisco + Atlanta · London + Tokyo 


THE 
UR EAN TE EONAR CUP 
CRAZY GERMAN COFFEE 


it was a rare, remarkable 
and murderously potent brew—in 
more ways than one 


fiction BY WARNER LAW 


381 Monta Lane 
Bel Air, Los Angeles 
California 90024 


January 17, 1968 


Dr. Roberto Cajiao-Cigliuti 
Calle 13 Norte No. 27 
Cali, Colombia 


Dear Sir: 

Your name has been given me by the Person-to-Person 
Magazine Exchange Committee as one who would like to 
receive used magazines from the U.S, I think this is а fine 
idea, since 1 only throw my ma; way, and you might 
as well enjoy them down there im Colombia—a country 
which I'm sorry to say I've never visited. So I am today 
sending you current copies of Life, Look, The Saturday 
Evening Post and югАупоу. 

1 am told by the committee that you ar physician of 
26 years of age who knows English and would appreciate 
magazines of general interest.” 

From my atlas, I learn that Cali is а city of some 815,000, 
is situated at an elevation of 3140 fect in the valley of the 
Cauca river, not lar from some of the coffee plantations. 

As it happens, I am a great lover of coffees, and I use the 
dvisedly. I roast and blend my own, using coffees 
eties from 


ines 


ріш 
Пот all over the world, induding four 
Colombia 

I am 61. retired from business and a widower. Т would 
enjoy corresponding with you about your country and your 
life, and thereby broaden my knowledge of the world and its 
people. In any case, L would like to hear from you when the 
magazines arrive, so | can be sure I have your correct 
address 


Sincerely yours, 
Faubus К. Brofiman 


January 23, 1968 


Faubus R, Broffman, Esq. 
381 Monta Lane 

Bel Air. Los Angeles 
California 90024 

U.S.A. 


Distinguished Sirt 

I hasten to reply to your letter by return of the post. I 
will await the arrivals of the magazines with interest. 

Also awaiting these periodicals will be my fiancée, Maria 
Valenzuela, who hus the most acute avidity to read of life 
in the United States and all its goings on of glamor and 
exciting doings. Maria is very beautiful and my joy in life 
and we will be martied when next I obtain a promotion, 


91 


PLAYBOY 


for you see 1 am a physician in the Co 
Jombia Public Health Service! I would 
never wish a “society medical practice on 
Park Avenue” as I have witnessed in the 
U.S. films with the rich flocking with 
their ailments, you see, but I am a fine 
physician none the least and have dc- 
voted my life to the public weal. I will 
never be wealthy and rich but I will 
never be poor at the other hand! 

Your name struck a gong with me and 
T hastened to the public library and saw 
an article about you in the magazine of 
Time of April 24, 1964. Which I had 
remembered reading at that time as we 
have many Germans in Colombia from 
carly times and among them is the prom- 
inent Broffman family. 

The article as I am sure you know 
deals with your life as beginning with 
the capital of $500 and building same 
to a fortune of some $36,000,000, when. 
you sold your interests out and retired to 
a life of luxury and case at the mere age 
of 571 My congratulations to you, sir! 
Tell me please how you managed this 
grand success, and of the living of your 
life at this present time. 
cy that you are a lover of coffees. 
I too! I must go now to take Maria to 
the films, 


Yours sincerely, 
Roberto Cajiao-Cigl 


ti, M. D. 


381 Monta Lane 
Bel Air, Los Angeles 
California 90024 


February 2, 1968 


Dear Dr. Cajiao-Cigliu 

Thank you for your letter, in which 
you ask about my “grand success,” and 
about my Ше now. 

There arc often in the U.S. corpora- 
tions with hidden or undervalued. assets, 
in cash on hand, real estate, patents, 
tax-loss carry-overs, etc. Sometimes, these 
corporations simply lack forward looking 
management. One looks for these comp: 
nics and then one buys their stock 
gains control. Then, one can liqu 
date and realize these assets, or теогр; 
the operations of the company on a more 
profitable The value of the compa 
пуз stock will then rise, sometimes fan- 
ally. One then sells out and uses the 
1 therefrom derived to buy into 
another and usually * compan 
And so on. It is a simple process of 
pyramiding one's holdings. But a good 
deal of hard work is required, as well as 
a willingness to risk all nes. 

Now, I live in a comfortable, rambling 
house in Bel Air, which is in the hills 
bove West Los Angeles, and UCLA ur 
versity. I have many mov 
bors, and know a few of them slightly, 

1 have never remarried since my wife 
died ten years ago, because, quite frankly, 
I enjoy “playing the field” with younger 
ladies, even at the advanced old age of 
61! Los Angeles is, happily, quite full of 


capi 


unattached and attractive young women. 

I һауе managed to retain my teeth 
and my hair, and keep my body fit with 
tennis, golf, swimming in my pool and 
sailing my yacht. 

A few years back, I had a heart attack, 
which almost killed me, but now, with 
lots of exercise, I feel better than ever. 1 
neither smoke nor drink, for Y don't 
want to shorten my life. 

I have servants who look after me very 
well. A Negro named Hawkins is my 
butler, and his wife Cleo is my excellent 
chef. Also, I have a chauffeur and man 
of all work named Carlo. He is a hand- 
some young satyr of Italian origin whose 
prowess with the ladies is astounding, if 
he is to be believed. 

Congratulations on your lovely fiancée, 
Mania. Marry her soon and start a fam- 
ily. My wife and I never had children, to 
our regret. 

Do tell me about your own life and 
work. Where do you live? What does 
your daily work consist of? 

By the way—would you happen to 
know anything about "crazy German 
coffee”? Ir was mentioned once in a 
novel I read, years ago. It is a coffee that 
is supposed 10 come from Colombia, and 
(in the book) is the most 
unique coffee in the world. 

I am off soon to Punta 
the Film Fes L A cha 
actress has asked me to escort her! 1 
suspect she has marriage in her mind. 
1 have something else in mine. 

Sincerely, 
Faubus Broffman 


fabulous 


del Este and 
ming young 


March 2, 1968 


My dear Mr. Broffman: 

How modest you атс! “It is a simple 
process of pyramiding one’s holdings,” 
you say! Indeed! Time magazine тє 
fers to yourself as a “financial genius.” 
"Ehe article also describes you аз one who 
is compelled to be the winner at the cost 
of all. A business conflictor (obvious) is 
quoted saying you are ruthless and heart- 
les. 15 this not a prejudiced comment, 
sir, do you think? 

The magazines ved! I was delighted 
as 1 devoured their contents! Interesting, 
there is an article in The Saturday Eve- 
ning Post magazine about the actress 
Raquel Welch, who is a dead ringer 
to my Maria, instead that she (Miss 
Welch) is not so ample in the bosoms. 
To proof, | am sending you a "snap" 
of Мана and myself. Maria is on the 
left in the g dress with the long 
hair and without the spectacles! На, һа! 
1 hope you have had good fun in 
Punta del Este with the actress! I have 
never been to Uruguay, but then T have 
never deserted Golombia except for Pan- 
ama for a weck, because it takes money 
to travell 


Your friend, 
Roberto С. 


Р. S. I have never learned of this “crazy 
German coffee”; neither has my friends. 
But I will ask my cousin in Bogota who 
is a wealthy coffee broker and drives a 
1066 green Buick sedan. 


March 11, 1068 


Dear friend Roberto: 

I'm happy you received the magazines. 
Carlo has mailed you other shipments of 
magazines, since the first. 

Your Maria is indeed a “delectable 
dish." Were I you, I wouldn't let her out 
of my sight! 

You mention that I was described as 
one who had to be a winner at all costs. 
I suppose there is some truth in it. I 

ame from a very poor family, and early 
on I rcsolved to be first in all things, and 
this has influenced my life in many areas. 

‘The charge that I have been “ruthless 
and heartless” came not from a “соп- 
flictor" but from the son of a man who 
had built up his own business. When 
І took control, 1 had to the old 
man ош, for he was growing senile. 
The man took his own life, which sad- 
dened me greatly, but you һауе to be up 
to the mark in business or make way for 
those who are. It is sad but it is true. 

I am enclosing а photo of myself and 
my actress friend, taken at the beach in 
Punta del Este. The young lady was 
unfaithful to me four times (to my 
knowledge) during the time we were in 
Punta del Este. When I chided her aboi 
this, she claimed it was necessary for 
"public relations" J would have called 
them “private relations"! Actually, E 
did not mind too much, so you see 1 am 
not really ruthless. Our great financier 
Bernard Baruch once said, “It is better to 
have ten percent of a good investment 
n a hundred percent of a bad опе!” It 
applies to women as well as stocks and 
bonds, especially when you are 61. 

I have chartered а 150-foot power 
yacht out of. Honolulu. It has a crew of 
and a French chef and I am taking 
six guests all around the Hawaiian Is- 
lands for two weeks of relaxation. 

You have yet to tell me about your 
life and work. 

Don't put yourself to any uouble 
about "crazy German coffee," whatever it 
is and if it is. It might well һауе been 
an invention of the novelist. 

Sincerely, 
aubus Broffman 


March 21, 1968 


Sir Faubus R. Brofiman 
381 Monta Lane 

Bel Air, Los Angeles 
California 90024 

U.S. America 


Dear Mr. Broffman: 
Do not read onc other word in this 
letter unless you promise to me that you 
(continued on page 210) 


dear.” 


in, my 


“You have such beautiful sk 


94 


a burgeoning hobby and a sterling investment 


CLASSIC-CAR 
EOELECIING 


article BY КЕМ W. PURDY  avrowosne collecting 
passed out of the stringsaving category some time ago. The 
international auction house of Parke-Bernet, a legend-draped 
eminence in the art world, now regularly conducts automobile 
sales; in a recent one, a Mercer brought 545,000. There are 79 
major automobile collections in Europe, including one in the 
Soviet Union and one in Israel; many of these are museums 
exhibiting only the automobile and artifacts related to it. The 
Montagu Motor Museum in England and the Museo dell- 


Automobile Carlo Biscaretti di Rutha in Italy are two such, and 


world famous. In this country, the Harrah, Clark and Cunning- 
ham collections, in Reno, Southampton and Costa Mesa, Cali 
fornia, are housed in museums. The automobile's standing as 
an object of art, formally attested in 1951, in the famous 
Museum of Modern Art show in New York (and again in 
1953 
argue the point on aesthetic grounds must concede instantly 
on the other standard by which, like it or not, art has always 
been assayed: value appreciation, Some automobiles 
20 times their original value and, while сус 


1066 and 1969), is firm today, and critics disposed. to 


re worth 


y indicator sug: 


gests that prices will continue to rise, it is still possible to 


assemble a worthwhile personal collection. Money governs 
1t can be a collection ol established classics, or of less valuable 
specialties, or of near-current models shrewdly chosen as pos- 
sible rarities tomorrow 


small classic collection— each car compellingly inter- 
esting itself, created by men of taste and talent and individu- 
ality, certain 10 increase іп value year alter year—I would 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALEXAS URIA 


Е COLLECTION 


Doble 1925 Series E. This best of oll 
steomers would move in 22 seconds ot n 
below zero; it ron silently, would go 9 
plus mph. At left is Abner Doble’s own cor 


[LANCHESTER 
Lonchester 1908. A bench-mork design reflecting the 
intelligence спа ге rkoble originolity of British en- 


gineer Frederick Lanchester, it hod vibrotion-free en 
gine, independent wheel suspension—ond 


Rolls-Royce 1910 Silver Ghost. For elegonce 
silence, longevity, moterials ond workmonship, 
the Silver Ghost R-R models hove probobly no 
been equoled by any oulomobile built since 


Mercer Raceobaut 1912 
There ore 33 of these 
rugged four-cylinder New 
Jersey-buill cors still in 

istence. Originol cost wos 
$2500; the present valuation 
соп run upwords of $45,000. 


CUNNINGHAM AUTOMOTIVE MUSEUM 


Bentley 1931, 4V/ ‘iter. The 
Bentley, о most revered Brit- 
ish sports cor, wos five times 
а winner ot Le Mons. This, 
the “blower Bentley" (su 


charged), is o notable rarity. 


HARRAH'S AUTOMOBILE COLLECTION 


HARRAH'S AUTOMOBILE COLLECTION 


choose ten cars. Incidentally, but importantly, each would be thoroughly enjoyable to drive. This condition would 
exclude many historically notable vehicles, simply because they're slow or unwieldy or unreliable. I think every 
thing should run, and reasonably quickly, too. In this, if not in all else, 1 am a partisan of the F 


itish discipline 
in collecting, which holds it offensive to keep an old motorcar, even a valuable one, squirreled away and not run 


it. British sportsmen run racing cars of the 1920s, 1930s and earlier in earnest competitions, accepting the risk ol 
wiping out an uninsured $15,000 antique in а race for a fivexlollar silver mug. A leader of this shortfused pack 
is a charming mad Welshman, Hamish Moffatt, who runs а 1926 Grand Prix Bugatti in flatout races on original. 
narrow-section, hard-rubber tires, and in the rain. He wins, too. 


To begin arbitrarily with a pair of two-seater sports cars: a Frazer Nash and a Morgan. These also have in 
Bugatti 1931 Type 41. The king-emperar of production motorcors, it was usually colled The Golden Bug or The Bugatti 
Royale. It is huge: 4/2 feet longer than о Cadillac Eldorado, far exomple, ond с faot langer fram nase ta windshield 
than a Pontiac Grand Prix, The bare chassis price olane wes $20,000. This sedonco de ville is the most elegant of the 415 


common that they are chain-driven, British, distinguished in competition history, delightful to drive and cult objects 
The Frazer Nash was designed by Captain Archibald Frazer-Nash initially 
were made: probably 348. I һауе seen only three in this country 


ind built from 1924 to 1938. Not many 


The British regard the surviving “Nash cars 
there are about 150 of them—on the level of national treasure, and the Frazer Nash section of the Vintage Sports 


Car Club effectively conuols their disposition. Perhaps half-a-dozen chain-driven Frazer Nashes appear on the British 
market in a given y 


т, and it's usual to find their sale conditional on a promise not to export, although this can 
sometimes be overcome. J think the Frazer Nash is heavily underpriced in the current market at around $5000 and 
I expect to see it pulling $10,000 or so within the next few years. 


А good "Nash is recognizable as a thing worth owning at first sight: Like the TC MG, which it somewhar 


resembles, it's a fortunate design, а happy one, everything falling properly together. The 


front axle is bare, well 


out ahead of the stone-guarded radiator, with its quick-release cam-type cap; hood length is right, body length 


ccess among the 
many ottempls ct о three- 
wheel cor. Some 40,000 
were buit, mostly two- 
seaters, from 1911 to 1952 


Frazer Nosh 1935 Shelsley. 
A legendary spertstouring 
car driven by с unique four- 


choin system. This model 
(right) wos superchorced. 


Duesenberg 1933 SJ [for 

ht). The costliest Amer- 
icon production cors ever, 
ot $14750-$25000, were 
the Indionopolismode SJ. 


COLLECTION 


HARRAH'S AUTOMOBILE COLLECTION 


HARRAH'S 


AUTOMOBILE CC 


LECTION 


right, nothing out in back but a saddlebag gas tank; leather hold-down strap on the hood, outside exhaust pipes, 
le gearshift, brake and spark lever, fold-down windshield, double aeroscreens behind it. 


strap-held spare, outs 
alnut and leather—nothing extra, nothing missing. 
The Frazer Nash is absolutely unique and therefore most rare in one particular: Its chain-drive system was 
used on no other automobile ever built, save its own immediate ancestor, the Godfrey-Nash cyclecar. Strange, 
because it's a good system; and in the usage for which it was designed—competition /everyday normal—it had 
marked advantages. It's simple: The drive shaft runs straight from the clutch to a rightangle gearbox that sprouts 
two half-shafts; these carry four sprocket wheels and from cach of them a chain runs to a corresponding wheel on the 


quire 1925. А two-seoter by Vonden Plos, on eminent coochbuilder of the 1930s. Its young British designer, Adi 
Squire, wos ottemplina to estoblish o cost-no-obiect sports-cor monufactory. The lofty price toa |57500) defeoted him 


JTOMOBILE с 


PLAYBOY 


100 good sportsmodel Mog would d 


solid back axle. АШ the sprocket wheels 
vun all the time, and gear selection is by 
dog Clutches on the hall-shafts: easy, in- 
stantancous, silent. This system delivered 
two dividends: Changing gear ratios 10 
fit varying circuits was only а matter of 


one sprocket per change, and 
Je gave superior accelera- 
tion, (Absence of а differential also 


ant that im cornering, with the right 
and left rear wheels traveling diflerent 
arcs and so different distances, a certain 
amount of slippage on the road was in- 
evitable; this is one of the factors in the 
markedly individual and endearing way 
the Frazer Nash handles.) 

Most numerous of Frazer Махсу are 
Tourist Trophy Replicas, named alter a 
now-defunct road race on the Isle of 
Man. There are many other model des 
ignations: Byfleet, Nürburg, Colmore, 
Exeter, Shelsley, Falcon, Ulster, Bou 
logne. The Colmore is the only four- 
passenger the company made; the Shelsley 
is supercharged—by fwo superchargers. 
Four proprietary engines меге used— 
Anzani, Blackburne, Gough and Mead 
ows, Almost every "Nash was built to 
order, and the customer was free to spec 
ify instyument-panel layout, the kind of 
steering wheel he liked, and so on 

After World War Two, the Aldington 
brothers of London, who'd bought the 
company from Captain FrazerNash in 
1928, put on the market a shaftdriven 
azer Nash running a BMW (В: 
rische Motoren Werke) engine, a good- 
looking car and a successful competitor 
on the long-distance circuits. It E 
panache of the chain cars, and few seri 
ous antophilists are passionate about it. 

The Morgan ‘Three-Wheeler, often 
called a Mog. or a Morgan Trike. is 
chaindriven, but in a simpler fashion 
1t has one wheel in the rear, and a single 
lat chain drives it, The Trike and the 
fourwheeler that is still being made 
were the а s of one H. F. 5. Mor- 
gan, an Eng n of notable eccen 
tricity and purpose. A whimsy of British 
tax law that fell with most force on the 
poor man encouraged the Three-Wheeler: 
Tricyeles, described as chain«lriven. ve 
les of 806. pounds running on three 
wheels were taxed a straight. rate annu- 
ally, whereas automobiles paid a much 
higher rate. figured on horsepower. This 
law, pre Morgan. restricted the working 
classes pretty much to bikes, until H. F. S. 
thought to make a threcwheel chain- 
driven car, in 1911. From then until 
1952, 40,000 came out of the tiny Mor 
gan works in Malvern Link 

"The desirable Mogs arc those of the pre 
War period. particularly Super Sports 
and Acos powered by big two-cylinder 
motorcycle engines by Matchless. J. A 
Prestwich. Anzini and Blackburn 
which hung out in front of the 
They were brisk on getawa 


ator. 


store: 


as dt 


came from the they were 
lv susceptible to tuning and 
8 м needed 10 work them up 
to 100 mph or better. They were brutes 
to drive; but once tamed, the charac 
teristics that made them difficult changed 
them to challenging. The steering was 
heavy but very quick, the suspension 
rock hard, the brakes negligible; yet, 
Trike experts could make them go very 
fast in what looked to be comparative 
safety. An Englishwoman, Gwenda Stew 
drove one at 72 mph for 12 consec 
tive hours, and took the  three-wheel 
world speed record at 116 and a fracti 
а figure that stood for many y 
took а hot lactory-run. BMW motorcycle 
sidecar rig to lift it, finally. 

"The Morgan had its little eccentricities: 
No doors were cut into the stark, ope 
body, but it did сапу a hood and side 


curtains, so that in a fall of rain or snow. 
the inhabitants were sealed up like a 
tank crew. This was acceptable, and even 


pleasant, unless the engine stalled. as 
high-output two-cylinder engines some- 
times do, because it had 10 be cranked, 
which meant unbuttoning everything in 
order to get out. an annoyance if ten 
cars behind were blowing their horns. It 
was for a long time held to be gospel 
that a starter wouldn't work on a two- 
cylinder Morgan: The engine would 
kick back and tear things up. This isn 
truc, although the starter does need 
to be a sturdy one. Another Morgan 
oddity as the accelerator, a lever work- 
ing oll one of the steering-wheel spokes. 
It has no return spring; if the driver 
shoves it to wide open, it stays the 
until it is pulled back: and when the 
wheel is turned, it is important to re 
member. since the gas lever turns with 
t. thar down is now on and up is now 
ofl. ad of the oth 
‘There are two other levers on the wheel 


one lor spark. one for mixture control. 


п looks decidedly п 
sy, and when, at around 70 mph, run- 
ning on anything but plate glass, it 
begins to buck and leap about, lilting 
the inside front wheel in the corners. it 
feels hazardous, A sense of some security 
comes in time, bred of the high power 
to weight ratio and the very quick steer 
ing, I its true that the Morgan is 
nothing for crashing. The chassis is basi- 
cally а couple of pieces of pipe. the floor 
tank is hung 


An early Mor 


is wood and the gasoline 
in the scuttle over your knees. To exit 
on the drivers side is something of 
п exercise, even when the car is stand 
still, and hot exhaust pipes run 
along both sides of the body. just under 
elbow height. Tire failure in the rear 
single wheel usually 1 least 
У 


means a 


nout 
In the 1930s. 


Morgan began. propel 
ling the tricycl h softer and more 
civilized engines, four-cylinder British 
Fords. tucked out of sight in the star 
d fashion. € 10 the big 


motorcycle twins: and after the War. they 
were standard. Cutoff date for the Ford 
Three Wheelers is usually stated as 1 
but a few were made in 
perhaps later, as favors for friends. 7 
Morgan factory. a complex of seven 
small buildings. was run on an informal 
basis when the founder was in char 
and still is under his son, Peer. It 
му а limited production operation 
A legend that is apparently immortal 
holds that one 


sufficed, periods when a production r 
of one car a day or so was held to be 
ample, In 1965, for exa the 
people on the Morgan payroll w 
turning out nine cars a week, all sold 
long in advance. of course. The rule is 
the same today: everything presold. 
'ord-engined Mogs can be lound occa- 
sionally in England for 5750 and up and 
for around 51200 here. The twins run 
higher and a fine onc in original shape. 
or restored, сап go to 59500. They are 
good buys now at any reasonable figure 
А Morgan is easily broken up: their 
in demand. Two 
a serious depression 
ngland. Mor 
ys be in short sup- 
4 only. 


junked m 
gan Trikes will alw 
ply and their prices сап go пру 
1 mentioned earlier that the last. pur- 
chase of a T-head Mercer Raceabout had 
been at the Parke-Bernet sale in Brook. 
at 545,000. It асйесіз the rarity of 
this model of Mercer (there are lewer 
than 30 known to be nice) and 
its undisputed place at the top of the 
an built cars. The 


е 


last “new 
o. Tht 
village 
written, 


med up 
a result of 
ind 1 bought i 
restored. for $1250, a price 
at the time. It's now in the Josiah К. 
Lilly collection in Massachusetts, 
There are cus much sought after to 
y that didn't amount to а great deal 
their own time, but the Mercer w 
exciting from the beginning. It 
nearly unique in its tripleuse сара 
ty: a good passenger, sports and racing 
сат. The Mercer Raceabout was sturdy 
liable and unfussy; on the road, it 
would outperform almost anything else. 
of its time, 1911-1914, and you could 
ghi to а race track 
a lor of automo- 


reasonable 


way 
i 


ily (he same 
Brooklyn Bridge) 
nd the factory 


Ihe Roebling 
people who built the 
was behind the Mercer 
was in Trenton (Mercer County), New 
Jersey. Finley Robertson Porter designed 
ihe "I-head (so called because of the 
configuration of the cylinder head) and 
his was the rare satisfaction of living 
long enough to sce his car selling lor ten 
mes its first price. Like the Frazer 

(continued. on page 108) 


“He said he wanted to ma 


Ке love to те in the worst way, and he did.” 


101 


| 


|" ў ШШ! 


М 
Т 


AS 1 sar in front of my television set 
watching the second invasion of Czecho- 
slovakia, this time by the Communist 
storm troopers. resentment and des 
shame, indignation and the frustrated 
awareness of my total impotence were 
acing wildly through the corridors of my 
mind. like the “hounds of heaven" in the 
mous Housman poem. | was trying to 
control my breathing and to clear my 
throat; my whole body was tense, and in 
my hands there was a kind of. physical 
longing for the controls of the bomber 1 
ad flown against the other Nazis dur- 
ing the War. Then, out of some even 
darker corner of my psyche, there sud- 
ilv arose a monstrous thought: ‘This 
if ever. was a case for the use of the atom 
b. Under the impact of intolerable 

ion, faced with this cynical bait- 
ing of my helplessness and weak 
through a combination of total frustra 
tion and powerless sense of injustice, 1 
was c the border of sanity and 
falling prey to the obscure forces within 
a Lee Harvey Oswald, a Hitler or 
Sirhan Sirhan, 

My own reaction is the a 
those who wonder how violence h 
come our daily companion, why stude 
are running amuck in every сиу of the 
world, Our consciousness and conscience, 
inbred belief іп the existence of 

kind of honor among men are 
reilessly teased. baited, provoked day 
by day, hour by hour, through the ir 
stant au ual contact with the world 
we live in. This world may be no more 
ugly than it was 50 years ago. but 


be. 


nswer to a 


our 
some 
m 


ILLUSTRATION BY DON FUNCHATZ 


beastliness was then ignored or unknown 
10 a colossal degree, and this ignorance 
protected our psyche. But two. genera- 
lions of mass media and communications 
have exposed both the world to us and 
us to the world in such a brutal way that 
our conscience has become ап exposed 
nerve. An adjustment to such a situation 
becomes not only impossible but im- 
that is why Freud and psycho- 
ysis are more and more rejected by 
the young, as Miss Anna Freud herself 
so courageously pointed out some time 
аро. In tlie world of Prague. Biafra, Viet 
m and Harlem, can anyone tell me 
could possibly be meant by an 
adjusted man? Brainwashed at best; more 
likely, a passive accomplice. For the 
youth of today. to be ill adjusted is a 
term of praise. a hrst necessity in terms of 
nity, of moral and psychological s 
vival, as well as the Inst prerequisite to а 
radical change of the total environment 
Not long ago, I heard an I&-yearold 
boy say ly. looking at his father 
with an u able expression of scorn: 


wh. 


YOUNG PEOPLE, 
FEELING TRAPPED BY A 
SEDUCTIVE WORLD 
THEY NEVER MADE, ARE 
APPROACHING THE EXPLOSIVE 
CRITICAL MASS—BUT 
RUN THE RISK 
THAT THEIR IDEALS 
OF CHANGE MAY DEGENERATE 
INTO POWER-STRUGGLE 
CONFRONTATIONS 


“Yeah. he's always been well adjusted. 
the most absurd arguments 


One of 


“We are feeding them, clothing th 
are g them all the opport 
keam and to occupy а рше › 
then they до and throw stones at us" It 
is uue that 90 percent of the rioters were 
fils à papa. W is, however, the most 
stupidly selfish argument ever employed 
by the French bourgeoisie in blind self- 
defi . For the so-called French revolu- 
tion of 1968 had its roots precisely in the 
fact that the young intellectuals of Na 
terre and Paris could no longer stand to 
be well fed, well Clothed, well educated 
and settled jobs in а world where 
700,000,000 people are suffering from 
malnutrition. It was said that the rioting 
students had no purpose in sight. True 
enough, they were merely vomiting the 


а violent person myself, 1 am no 
less aware than other observers of the 
pathological character of all violence 
I would be the last to defend it c 
sing its praise. But, on the other hi 
we cannot drive people mad and then 
condemn them for bemg insane. I am 


e that violence derives either 
from our own self-righteous conviction 
that we are absolutely right or from our 


tion to others who feel and be 
ight. Such a 
1 margin of tolerance. 
n one's cause becomes so 
that all other moral considera 
are swept aside, usually together 


y are 


The 
strong: 
tion 


PLAYBOY 


104 


with some butchered or burned bodies of 
men, women and children. My moral 
convictions become so overwhelming that 
1 no longer let ordinary morality stand 
in my way. For the holder of absolute 
tuth, everything else ceases to matter. 
During the last War, 1 spent five years 
more or less continuously at the controls 
of a bomber іп England, Abyss 
Libya, Syria, France and Germany. In 
1943, 1 dive-bombed and missed ап cne- 
my submarine. 1 have often heard of 
bomber pilots who, years later, experi- 
ence a recurrent nightmare: They see the 
victims of their bombing. I suffer from 
an even more terrible recurrent 
mare: Twenty-six years later, 1 still 
dream that 1 miss that submarine. I wake 
up screaming in а cold sweat because I 
have not killed. My anti-Nazi convictions 
and my belief in what 1 was fighting for 
were so absolute that 1 had become a 


highly decorated killing machine. Even 
today, my painfully abstract remorse 
stems from the fact that I feel no 
remorse. 


Albert Camus has written what to me 
is one of the two key sentences of our or 
for that matter, any other time: "I am 
nst all those who think they are 
absolutely right.” And I may as well 
quote the other key sentence in the same 
context: "You condemn to the death 
penalty a guilty man, but you always 
carry out the sentence on an innocent 
one.” І know of no greater truth; and 
yet, as 1 was watching the rape of Czecho- 
slovakia, 1 felt so absolutely right in my 
indignation that 1 caught myself longing 
for the absolute weapon. 

1 do not believe that this is a time 
when one can have a conscience and be 
entirely sane. Brutality is merely the op- 
posite pole of this escape from reality; 
the oversensitive individual always dreams 
of toughness, of virility, and can become 
a pathological killer merely to escape 
from his own feeling of impotence. 

My contention is that we are in the 
midst of the greatest psychological. moral 
nd spiritual crisis that our civilization 
has ever known. Ideology has become 
associated with mass murder. Materialis- 
тіс society finds nowhere 10 go, except to 
more of the same, and there is neither 
n in sight any longer. Hu- 
manism is dead and Man, with a capital 
M, died with it. 1 myself believe іп an 


God nor m 


extraordimary spiritual revolution. and 
renaissance in the next century, a 
probably will be of a scientific origin or. 


if you prefer, a revelation. Man cannot 
live by man alone. Tl 
will have to find outside help. 1 do. how- 
ever, feel that our traditional. religions 
are all deeply associated with our fiasco 
and that our spiritual rebirth will have 
very little to do with them. 


One of the most obvious reasons for 
our angst is, of course, the fact that we 
are truly opening our eyes for the first 
time. For thousands of years, civilizations 
prospered оп a happy mixture of limit- 
ed Knowledge and unlimited igno 
“Тһе most frightening, shocki 
event in Voltaire's life and time w: 
Calcutta earthquake. Today, an earth- 
quake is a reassuring thing: At least 
there is one horror for which we are not 
responsible. We are living in a state ol 
папі and constant awareness Let me 
give you an example of the power of the 
mass media. Last May, in Paris, a few 
hundred students occupied the Sor 
bonne. It so happened that while Dean 
Roche, Chief of Police Grimaud and 
Sauvageot—the handsome Ché Guevar: 
of the students’ revolt—were negotiating 
inside the building, unknown to them, 
Radio Luxembourg had its mikes there 
d every word of the angry discussion 
was on the air. Within a mater of 
hours, the 400 students were 16,000 and 
the May revolution began. 

It would, of course, be absurd 
totally unacceptable that the realities of 
the world we live in should be deliber- 
ately hidden from us, But it is no less 
true that we are overexposed. By 
very nature, television dwells on d 
events. There is no show eleme! 
peace. Nondrama, the nonhappening, is 
not something upon which movies, т: 
and television can feed and prosper. Our 
conscience and consciousness are there- 
fore constantly bombarded with the 
worst: The very nature of showmanship, 
of the spectacular, of the arresting, of the 
dramatic, is shock. Overemphasis sets іп 
with the neces 
ences and to fight the competition of 
other media. All those who listened to 
the hysterical radio report on the assassi 
nation of Senator Robert Kennedy soon 
found themselves reacting hysterically 
to the tragedy. Superevents provoke over. 
reactions. Even the voices of the n 
of news commentators in the 
States are almost constantly keyed up 
they tend to overplay the drama alr 
emphatic enough in itself. The accen 
is always on tragedy, and the more 
peaceful and happy aspects of life are 
Lugely ignored. There is an old saying 
in France: "Happy people have no histo- 
y.” There is no story in the absence of 
drama. We are, therefore, being served 
-by-day overdoses of tragedy and we 
like, through mass media, a permanent 
show, with the consequence that a la 
of entertainment, which was our norn 
way of life for thousands of years, 1 
cuum. [tis not so much the 
violence on the television screen or 
the movies, as is too often said, that 
leads to crime and violence; it is a стау 


ty to conquer new audi- 


us in a у, 


the condi 


for a constant happeni 
tioning by the constant. dramatic vibra 
tion on the screen, which, in the end, 
equates nondrama with a feeling of non 
existence. As often as not, violence i 
the streets is a form of self-provided 
entertainment 

1 understand t 


ter the assina- 
tion of Robert Kennedy, many Holly 
wood personalities took an oath 10 
renounce violence in the movies in which 
they star. It may be a valid personal те 
action against our gun society, but 
has no relevance to the murder of Rob- 
ert Kennedy. The young Senator was 
assassinated— probably as was his brother 
—because his glamorous personality. 
wealth, power, good looks and unlimited 
prospects had been overdramatized by 
mass media to the point that they were 
beginning to act as provocation on 
paranoid personality with an inherent 
fecling of inferiority and frustration, a 
ways on the lookout for dramatic self- 
assertion. In such a situation, the assassi 
feels that he has avenged himself and h: 
achieved greatness by his act, and that he 
has risen above the status of his vic 

As for violence in films, 
is probably highly overestimated, 
can anyone tell me what effect Bonnie 
and Clyde had on the sadistic behavior 
of the Chicago police during the con- 
vention? 

During last spring’s riots in. Washing. 
ton, I was fortunate enough to be able 
to witness an example of a truly curious 
pport between the television addicts 
and the magical box. Several houses were 
burning around [th Street. A few 
blocks from the nearest and clearly v 
ble fre, I saw a crowd in front of a store. 
The crowd was watching a television set 
n the window, and do you know wh: 
they were looking at? They were looking 
at a house burning in the neighborhood. 
hey had only to turn their heads to sce 
the fire live, but they obviously preferred 
to watch it on ТҮ. Maybe they were con- 
fident that the network had picked the 
best fire for them. Or maybe they wanted 
to see the commercial that would follo 
J do not pretend to be able to expl 
this phenomenon. At one moment, 1 
even began to suspect that the crowd was 
not watching the fire on the screen but 
the TV set itself. Or perhaps they were 
just waiting lor someone to break the 
window, so that they could take the set 
and the fire home with them. 

The power of the transistor radio 
the underdeveloped countries is fantas- 
tic. 1t can be argued that Egypt and the 
whole Amb Middle East are held годе 
er only by transistor radio. A few words 
can throw millions of people into thc 
s happened in Cairo during Na 
speech, and in Faris, in 
(continued on page 111) 


WHY | CANT 
WRITE A 
DIRTY BOOK 


humor By ART BUCHWALD there’s gold in them thar thrills, 
but even an author wrth the best of venal intentions may find it just doesn’t pan out 


JT 15 ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL that anyone today who claims to be a writer must produce a pornographic book. It is 
a status symbol comparable with that of the Hemingway era, when, in order to be a writer, you had to bag a lion. 

You would think writing a pornographic book would be one of the easiest things in the world. Well, it isn’t. 1 
know, because I've been trying to write one for two years. 

I think one of my problems is that I've been doing too much research. I like to be well versed in any subject 
I attack, so I spend hours upon hours reading other pornographic books; and by the time I get my reading done, 
I'm so excited 1 can't write myself. 

Another thing that seems to have me stymied is that I don't know what kind of pornography to specialize 
in. I'm not sure whether I want to appeal to the flagellation-sadomasochistic school of writing, which has a limited 
but devoted audience: 

“You're not going to whip me with that?” she cried hopefully. 

"That's not all I'm going to do with you, you bitch," һе chortled. 

Or go commercial and write а wifeswapping novel: 

“I've never done it with anyone but Fred,” she cried, as she took off her slip. 

“Рис never done it with anyone but Suc," he said nervously, as he hung up his pants on a chair. 

She gasped as she gazed ai his power, and suddenly Fred was the furthest thing from her mind. 

But then I say to myself, “Everyone is writing wife-swapping books these days and I'm not going to sell out for 
a Book-of-the-Month Club selection, no matter how much money there is in it.” 

So the thought occurs that maybe I should write a story of a woman who, because of a gang rape or some other 
beastly act, turns to another woman or women for consolation and love: 

She sat in the chair, her shirt raised above her thighs, and looked into my face. My heart leaped as I saw 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY BOB POST 


her wet lips open and heard her voice say, “You know why I'm here.” I fought back the impulse to drop to my knees 
апа hiss those long beautiful white legs, but suddenly she rose from her chair, took my hand and placed it on her 
breast. The room started spinning. . . . 

I guess there's a need for this type of book and I should be fulfilling it, but I've always believed thai 
going to write a novel, it should have social significance. And 1 keep thinking I could strike a blow for сі 
if T could just find some way of dealing with a racial situation in a pornographic way: 

She stared at the ebony face of her giant chauffeur and snarled, "Don't ever put your nigger hands on me, or my 
husband will kill you." The chauffeur tried to back out of the room in fear, but she blocked his way. Her negligee fell 
open and her snow-white breasts popped out. “Rape те)” she cried, as she tore at his shirt. "Hurry, Hurry, Hurry.” 

1 keep saying to myself, “If I do write a book like that, will I change anybody's mind about race relations, or 
will it just be another hopeless exercise in the white man patronizing the black?” 

Besides, perhaps it is more important to write about big business and expose the brutal methods used to achieve 
power and wealth: 

“Mrs. McCarthy, you realize, of course, that if you don't take off your clothes, your husband will lose his job and 
T will sce that he never works in the advertising business again.” 

“But, Mr, Ryerson,” she pleaded, knowing it was futile, “don’t make me do this. There must be some other 
way of saving George for losing the Soft-As-Sheep Carpet account.” 

Ryerson laughed, his beady eyes glinted. Then he got up from behind his desk and walked over to her. “Do you 
want to start unbuttoning your blouse, or do you want me to call Personnel?” 

“No,” she said, as she unzipped her skirt, trembling. “I have to do it for George.” 

As you can see, there are so many directions to go in these days when you want to write a pornographic book 
that it's almost impossible to stick with one theme. I imagine I could combine the themes, as many writers do, but 
the question I then have to ask myself is, “Is it literature?” 

I keep struggling with the problem every day; and the more pornographic books I read, the more Y realize how 
inadequate I am to write something that will last. 

At the same time, I know that if I ever hope to be taken seriously as a writer; I must get down to work on my 
book. But my problem is that every time I start a paragraph: 

Harry looked at the two girls in his bed and shook his head. How could he ever satisfy both of them and still 
make the 7:10 for Scarsdale? 

I say to myself, “Is this something the Supreme Court would want to read?” a 


“Could you put your clothes on, ma'am? You're scaring the horses!” 


PLAYBOY 


108 presumes a close acquain 


CLASSIC-CAR COLLECTING 


Nash, the Mercer is excellently propor- 
tioned; and although there's nothing 
much to it—hood, gas tank, fenders, t 
little seats and a steering post stick 

ощ of a bare floor—it looks light, 
ad lively. Its famous rival, the 
seems pushy and 


out of balance beside it. 

A factory guarantee of 75 mph came 
with the Mercer, and a modest amount 
of tuning would take it well over that. 
Mercers ran up а big racing record: In 
1913, a good year, 15 first places 12 
seconds and 6 thirds. In ordinary use, 
the car is fun to drive, the big four. 
cylinder engine always rumning slowly 
(2000 rpm at 75 mph!) the steering 
fast, if very heavy, and the suspension 
taut. Beginning in 1915, the company 
built a somewhat more conventional car 
designed by Erik Delling around a softer 
engine. These, also designated Race- 
abouts, are called L-heads. There were 
touring cars, too. 

Any Mercer, dated 1911 to the year 
the company gave up, 1925, is valuable; 
but, of course, the T-head is the prize, 
and Mr. Harry Reznick, who took the 
$45,000 car, was probably well advised. 
Barring catastrophe, 1 see no reason not 
to believe his car will be worth, in 2000, 
twice its present value. Its a rule of 
collecting that really sound merchandise 
appreciates steadily up through the years, 
come hell or high water, war or deflation. 

Certainly as rock-solid in value as the 
Mercer is the Silver Ghost Rolls-Royce. 
"The Ghost was the first long-run produc- 
tion car of the Derby-based firm: indeed, 
it had one of the longest model runs of 
all time—19 years, from 1906 to 1925— 
and, consequently, is оп a lower rarity 
level than the Mercer. It was a better and 
a costlier car to lx; h, however, 
and is now under such stringent demand 
that a totally unrestored 1911 brought 
$20,800 in a recent British auction, even 
though it was wearing a fussy and 
nly looking landaulet body. То 
extrapolate from that figure, a fine, pre- 
Kaiser War Silver Ghost touring car 
would have made $35,000 at the same 
sale, or ten times its worth 20 years ago. 
The highest known price for a Rolls- 
Royce is the $65,000 paid a few months 
до for a four-cylinder of 1905 vintage. 
Frederick Henry Royce made his first 
1905 and ran the company with an 
iron hand until his death three decades 
later. His partnership with С. S. Rolls 
began in 1904 and ended with Rolls 
n airplane accident in 1910. 
Шу, the car was called the Royce 
and probably should have been 

but Rolls wanted to see his 
ing up the 
money. "The usage “Rolls” has always 
been held a vulparism, but to call the 
Royce" is permitted. although it 
nce. (Factory 


always, 
name first and he was 


car 


(continued from page 100) 


people have from the beginning said 
they were working at Royces.) lt was 
Royce, a born mechanic and a man 
obsessed with unattainable perfection, 
who created the car; and the British Em- 
pirc, gratefully, made him a baronet for 
it. The combination of elegance, silence, 
speed and longevity achieved in the 
Silver Ghost Rolls-Royce has probably 
never been equaled. From the beginning, 
the car was guaranteed for three years 
uncondit 
some particu т was less than 
geniusstruck, but the quality of the ma- 
terial that went into it and the care its 
builders lavished upon it had not been 
seen before and probably have been 
equaled since only in the Mercedes- 
Benz shops. For example, for years, 
Rolls-Royce procedure in assembling the 
chassis frame called for tapered bolts 
fitted into hand-reamed holes and tight- 
ened to a precise torque figure; the 
radiator shell was then and is now hand- 
soldered, the main plates infinitesimally 
curved so as to appear perfectly flat—a 
trick borrowed from the Parthenon. 

If you can’t find a Ghost within the 
extreme range of your bank account, 
there are valuable successor models. The 
Phantom 1 is a splendid car and the 
only Rolls-Royce besides the Silver Ghost 
made in the United States (іп Spring- 
field, Massachuscus, briefly) as well as i 
nd. The Р-П. Continental, a rar 
an 325 were шайе- 
tely costly, is one of the 
most capable fast touring motor- 


commensu: 
doze 


cars that ever ran. The smaller Royces, 
the 20-hp, the 20-25 and 25-30, low on 


most autophilists’ want lists up to the 
present, have been good buys for some 
time as the available stock of the bigger 
cars was draincd a 
possession in collections and museums. 
A coupe de ville on a 20-hp chassis makes 
a lovely miniature. Coupe bodies were 
often mounted on the light Royces, the 
ensemble meant to appeal to doctors, 
and these are useful and pretty still 

In the 1930s, the New York carriage 
er Brewster bought up limousines 
and hearses and mounted more desirable 
bodies on them; notably, a stylish road- 
мет. A British firm is currently р 
to make replica Phantom I touring cars 
in the same way. To prevent deception 
(could there be anything lower than a 
larcenous used-car salesman specializing 
in Rolls Royces?), they will be discreetly 
and permanently marked as попогір- 
s but otherwise indistinguishable 
from the real thing. They will be excel- 
lent long-term investments; I certainly 
intend to buy one. 

England has known automobiles of 
reputation so puissant that one would 
bc justified in thinking they'd bee 
built in thousands. The Marendaz comes 
to mind, and the Leyland Eight and the 


Invicta, all cars famous in the соппоік- 
seurs memory and all made 
short runs. The most exi у 
the lot may be the Squire, a potent 
sports car first dated 1934. Every refer- 
ence book on high-performance cars lists 
the Squire, and many who've known 
al about the car for years have been 
staggered to learn, finally, that the 
total production was seven units. Tru 
though. Only a dozen һай been 
planned, and when the company, ош of 
money, closed down in 1036, it had built 
twelve chassis and seven complete cars. 
‘The extra chassis and parts were bought 
up by the owner of one of the original 
eight, a Val Zethrin, and in the next 
three years, he slowly built three units, 
properly called Squire-Zethrin types. 

Gregor Grant's British Sports Cars 
says of the Squire, “The late А. M 
Squire was by way of being a ge 
and there is no doubt that the 1/-liter 
Squire was one of the most attractive 
sports cars ever built . . one of the most 
talked-about cars of the time. It bristled 
ith interesting features developed from 
ng practice. ..." 

Adrian Squire, designer and builder, 
was а short, intenselooking man, dap- 
per, wearing a big R. A. F. mustache. He 
was a draftsman and engineer at the 
MC factory, and long remembered as a 
good one. His purpose in the Squire was 
straightforward: He wanted to build the 
best possible sports car, cost no objec 
He consequently had to price the vehi 
cle at 57500, a stiff бриге at any time 
nd seriously high іп a period of eco- 
nomic spin like the 1930s. In two years, 
he did push the price down to $4000, 
still a lot, when MGs were going for less 
than $1000. Of course, the Squire offered 
a firmer base for the mechanical one 
upmanship that has always marked 
sports-car people: a supercharged double- 
overheadcam Anzani engine with a 
finned oil cooler out in front of the rad 
tor, a Wilson рге-сіссіот gearbox 
signed statement that the car hı 


1 lapped 
the Brooklands track at 100-plus mph. 
When he saw he couldn't keep the 


company afloat any longer, Adrian 
Squire went back to the drafting table, 
this time for an aircraft firm. He was 
killed in а 1940 air raid. 1 know of three 
Squires in this country. Although it is 
ve the Squire has almost 
none of the glamorous history—competi 
ivilian—that attends some ot 
es, and the cars 
worth is accordingly lower 1 would 
think $10,000 a fair figure for a Squire 
im good to fine condition. Fair is one 
thing. though, and persuading a reluc 
tant owner to give one up is something 
else. Still. one ought never to go over the 
market. A collector | know who hi 
almost unlimited resources abides rigor 
ously by a selffixed rule never to go 
over the market, by which he means his 
(continued on page 201) 


pictortal 


AUTO EROTICA 


with our own highway-beautification program, you 
don’t have to be a roads scholar to get the message 
from these travelers! aides to happier motoring 


LEFT TURN RIGHT TURN 


SLIPPERY WHEN WET 


YIELD HOSPITAL ZONE 


ROAD NARROWS 


MERGING TRAFFIC 


BUMP AHEAD 


WRONG WAY ROAD CLOSED 


STOP 


PLAYBOY 


114 to follow the changes of i 


BAITING SOCIETY ........ from page 101) 


the Champs Elysées, during De Gaulle's 
challenging speech against the Commu- 
Party. 

"The power of the mass media is snow. 
balling through the democratic explosion 
and coincides with the appearance on 
the social scene of a completely new and 
extremely receptive dlass—youth, with 
its own economic power and leadership, 
its own mechanized transport, vocabu- 
lary, heroes and tribal organizations, 
ith its more sensitive and militant ele- 
ments refusing any form of integration. 
Youth power is in the process of radical- 
ly changing the patterns of behavior in 
our society; and the adults are simply 
unable to meet the challenge of the 
young and to compete with them, if only 
because they are almost physiologically 
incapable of the same reflexes, vitality, 
eagerness and freshness of outlook. All 
they seem able to do is to call the police. 
In such a situation, mass reactions are 
bound to become endemic and explosive, 
unpredictable and beyond the grasp of 
traditional reason. In France, the average 
age at a mass mccting $5 years ago 
was 42. Today, it is 24. A huge tumour 
s ago meant 100,000 people; to- 
means nearly 1,000,000. A large 
minority of this new class, youth, seeks 
a deliberate alienation from the rest of 
society. develops new codes of behavior 
and reinvents something akin to tribal- 
ism. The recourse to tribalism—hippies, 
black angels, psychedelic clans, gangs, 
sects, each with its own way of living, 
of dressing, cach with its own customs, 
language, signs and symbols—is a re- 
action of the individual against the 
sucking.in pressures of a homogenized 
society endowed with unlimited power 
and authority over him. The individual 
regroups himself within the tribe and 
tries to create a world of his own. This 
form of retreat will be prevalent as long 
as a prosperous society permits such mar- 
ginal living, which is feeding essentially 
on surplus and offal: The same forces 
will become revolutionary when marginal 
forms of escape living become econom- 
ically impossible. Add to this the demo- 
graphic congestion in urban areas and 
the evidence that our unreconstructed 
society is largely incapable of coping 
with the growth of its own birth rate, and 
it becomes apparent that we will either 
have to reconstruct the society entirely 
or establish a police state. Our civiliza- 
tion remains static and clings to sameness, 
while all its components, from tech- 
nology to communications media, are 
in constant change, which can only 
mean an explosion, a breakdown or rap- 
id, deliberate progress. The whole refuses 
components. 


Within the U.S. A., the combined psy- 
chological pressures of advertising and of 
the constant show of wealth surround- 
ing the poor are so strong that thcy 
amount to an invitation to looting or to 
robbery. Thc baiting never stops. Buy! 
Consume! You cannot do without this; 
Т the newest and the best and you 
must have it! Come on, it's waiting for 
you! How can we act indignant after 
that when the ghetto kid, submitted to 
such a teasing, at the first opportu: 
gocs on a looting spree? America has 
out the rule for the successful consumers’ 
society: Get rich. Yet it refuses both with- 
in its national boundaries and through- 
out the world to play its own game. 
Willing or not, it finds itself, therefore, 
constantly baiting, taunting and pro- 
voking millions of its own €conomically 
abandoned nonconsumers, as well as all 
the underdeveloped countries. The aui- 
tude of the destitute masses of South 
America, Asia and Africa toward the 
U.S.A. is that of the average looter 
toward a Fifth Avenue store. 

The alternative to crime would bc 
revolutionary, it would consist of ап 
attempt to overthrow a society that at 
the same time baits you with its riches 
and denies you economic access to them. 
Crime is a form of adjustment to societ 
It’s a pathological way of accepting this 
society and of answering to its pressures. 
Crime is not. as is often said. the left 
hand of idealism: It is the right hand of 
ignorance. 

Each of us can compose his own list 
of overwhelming forces active as a tease 

ithin our baiting society. Authority, for 
instance, has become a dirty word be- 
cause of the sheer exhibitionistic, over- 


active and ever-present aspects of it. For 
young рсөріс everywhere, revolutionary 
and nonrevolutionary alike, from Mos- 
cow to Belgrade, from Prague to Paris, 
from Chicago to Montreal, authority is 
the number-one enemy. No wonder: 
Living has become an exercise іп bu- 


Don't Walk. During the students’ May 
revolt, when spring in Paris was blossom- 
ing with slogans on all walls in the flick- 
cring light of burning cars, onc of the 
graffiti I read was: "Down with the bu- 
reaucracy of living!" It was impossible to 
find out what the students were fighting 
for, in terms of actual pol Шу con- 


lization, reaching for an overexposed and 
unacceptable reality; and they reminded 
me once more of Kafka’s most moving 
prophecy, those few words that have been 
my greatest inspiration as a writer and 


whose echo can be heard in all my books: 
“The power of the human scream is so 
great that it will smash all the iron laws 
decreed against man.” 

“La puissance, voilà l'ennemi!” ("Pow- 
єт, that’s the enemy!") тап another bit 
of writing on the wall. The individual 
is surrounded by the evidence of too 
much implacable power around him— 
nuclear, economic, military, industrial, 
mechanized, organized, anonymous, im- 
pudent power, The individual either 
capitulates to the power machine and 
becomes a kind of "insert one" coin in 
its entrails or tries to destroy the machine 
itself, with nothing in mind to replace 
it. Violence, then, becomes a kind of 
groping for self-respect, а self-assertion, 
a proclamation of independence. Victory 
becomes irrelevant; what counts is the 
old-fashioned, seldomheardtoday word 
The rebellious Jews of the 
Warsaw ghetto could not hope for any 
victory over the German war machine. 
But they attained dignity and honor. 

Fach of us is exposed day by day to 
increasing doses of historical fallout. Aft- 
er all, there is no reason a French stu 
dent should feel guilty and responsible 
for what happens, let us say, in Biafra 
But when a masscrculation magazine 
prints on its cover the picture of а tiny 
skeleton still stirring and staring at you 
under che caption, “Within two hours 
this child will be dead,” unless you have 
become completely amorphous, with your 
sensitivity killed by overexposure and 
you no longer care or react (which is the 
first step toward a police state), any 
human being, and particularly the young. 
feels like smashing something, a typic 
reaction of frustration and impotence. 

I vividly remember other slogans scrib. 
bled on the dirty old walls of Pari 
"The word is a born lian" which is 
an approximate translation of "Le mot 
ment comme il respite.” "The word 
comes with police protection and tear 
gas.” “Truth cannot be expressed іп 
words without lying" "Unleam the 
words: Go back to before ABC." "Stop 
the word before it makes another million 
dead.” As I write this, I wonder how 
the politicians and the warmakers every- 
where would feel about this. The dis 
illusionment of the young is entircly 
justified, and the indisputable fact is tha 
the Communists and the capitalists, all 
the democrats and nondemocrats, all the 
revolutionaries and conservatives alike 
have betrayed their beautiful words and 
promises. Remember “Freedom from 
fear, freedom from want"? I wonder 
what happened to them. 

To many people, this verbal aggression 

(concluded on page 200) 


BERRY-SMASHING DAY AT THE C&L 


50 what can you do when a fire bomb comes through the front window? 
fiction By STEPHEN DIXON c one of ше front windows broke and a fire 


Started at number-three cash register and I knew right away what had happened. Someone had thrown 
a Molotov cocktail through the window; because just before the smell of fire and smoke had covered 
over every single smell in the store, there was this smell of kerosene that had flashed in and out of my 
nose. “Hey, I'm burning, I'm burning up," Nelson Forman said, first very surprised to sce his own 
clothes on fire, then running away from his post at number three with flames coming out of his back. 
"Get a blanket,” a woman customer said; and when I yelled, “Where in hell "m I going to get a bl. 
ket in а supermarket?" she said, "Get a coat, then, something to wrap around him, at least"; but i 
was a hot, sticky August day and not a person in the store had even a jacket on, not even the regis- 
ter clerks, though it was compulsory. Nelson ran up aisle A and disappeared for a second before I saw 
him rounding the imported-cheese section and coming down aisle B, flames still sticking out of his 
back. Everyone, including a dozen or so customers and the delivery boys and all the clerks except the 
two who were using the store's only working fire extinguisher to put out the small blaze at number 
three, just sort of looked dumfounded and helpless at Nelson running up and around and down the 
aisles, wailing his head off, till I tackled him from in front, a perfect tackle (continued on page 156) 


15 


“The ‘problem’ derives from 
а single cause —that we grow old and die.” 


me - 


article By ALAN HARRINGTON Death is an imposition on the human race, and no longer acceptable. 
Man has all but lost his ability to accommodate himself to person: 


extinction; he must now proceed physically to overcome 


it. In short, to kill death: to put an end to his own mortality as a certain consequence of being born. f Our survival without the 


in or conviction that God is dead has lately struck home 
not merely to a few hundred thousand freethinkers but to masses of the unprepared. Ancient orthodoxies may linger. but the 
116 content of worship has begun to collapse. Th 


God we once knew comes down now to a race against time. The susp 


is what makes our situation urgent: Around the world. people are becoming 


"Today. if you can buy 50 years, “After each life cycle and period 
you may have а fair chance to buy eternity." of sleep, look forward to beginning again.” 


increasingly less inclined to pray to a force that kills them. f The most imaginative philosophical and religious answers to the 


"problem" of death have become irrelevant to the fact that we die. Humanity’s powers of self-deception scem to be running 
out. Modern theological word games may be pleasing to seminarians, Let jazz be permitted in the old spiritual gathering places. 
Such developments must be understood as gallant but altogether pathetic holding operations. f| Emotionally, growing millions 
of us are in crisis, “Men are so necessarily mad," wrote Pascal, “that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness.” 


Three hundred years later, with the mass communication of anxiety, and new weaponry and drugs in our possession, we need 117 


ILLUSTRATION BY KERIG POPE 


PLAYBOY 


18 


only open the morning paper or sit 
down to television, or look into our 
own lives, to observe signs of a growing 
ual insurrection. Life as it used 
to be seems in the process of slowly 
exploding, We wonder at the bursts of 
senseless” violence that scem likely at 
any moment to invade our days and 
nights. Yet is this sort of behavior neces- 
sarily irrational? If sanity now calls 
upon us to accept death without hope, 
perhaps such recent ceremonials as 
smashing pianos and guitars on stage 
may be viewed as expressions of mad- 
dened realism. 

We ought to say immediately that 
these outbreaks of distress, lor the most 
‚ afflict those who have time to think 
iere the problem of barely staying 
alive. When economic misery exhausts 
the psyche, horizons draw in. The mcan- 
ing of existence? God. as Gandhi pointed 
out, must reveal Himself to the destitute 
in the form of food. 

Nor will oppressed people who have 
yet to win or regain their dignity suffer 
overly much from thoughts of death and 
meaninglessness, since for them death 
lives, remains present everywhere: and, 
therefore, speculation about it is redun- 
dant. In particular, the revolutionaries 
of today or any time, while the revolu- 
tion is in prospect or actually going on, 
rise above this condition, 

Who, then, has come to live fear 
and trembling”? I am talking about the 
great bulk of the rest not actively at war, 
the reach of print and television; 
people of city, town and suburb getting 
along reasonably well, who, except dur- 
vacations, walk оп pavement. Among 
this currently decisive majority, ап 
unmistakable phenomenon тау be ob- 
served taking place. 

Civilized humanity is signaling. It 
seems to be both an nd a warning. 
1 many languages and forms, the coded 
sign repeats: "Change this scene or we 
!" The message by no means 
gone unnoticed. Governments, the pro- 
fessions, universities, the clergy and social 
ies of every description have paid 
Mention to the semaphore. (When 
they don't, their sanct € frequently 
invaded by large crowds carrying signs 
and shouting obscenities.) 

What does this violent mood portend? 
A revolution of some kind would seem 
already to be under way. Young people 
carry most of the signs, “The new major- 
ity,” they seem to be taking over every- 
thing. They appear determined to seize 
the day, and posibly the world. But 
there is something desperate as well as 
knowing in the way they are going about 
1. for theirs has really been a revolt 
against meaninglessness—which, at the 
present time, they are attempting to 


ns 


cover up by mass action, but which they 
covertly fear will outlast that action. 
And this mood is not confined to the 
young. Mature, wearying, old—so many 
of us are conducting our affairs in a 
peculiarly nervous fashion, as though 
Time were short 

Quite evidently, the people of our 
time are reporting an emotional dis 
placement: 
some say. 
ties of modern life." 
roughly speaking: angst, а 
? Any publiclibrary 
assortment of prescri 
Also a host of new preachers and mes- 
siahs, Their 
one or 


a condition not new but, 
‘aggravated by the complexi 
The diagnosis, 


choices: 
в ЕН consultation; 


group drunkenness; embracing 


action; 
the outdoors; making love as often as 
possible to the very edge of consciousness 


and forgetting about anything else; bury 
ing oneself in work, games or large fami 
lies: trying to follow the complicated 
religio-philosophical excuses for what 
Niebuhr described as man's 
“natural contingency"; and, in more ré- 
cent years, the skillful employment of 
narcotics, blowing your mind and seek- 
ing rebirth in the psychedelic voyage. 

Unfortunately, these panaceas have а 
single fault in common: They are all 
varieties of self-rypnosis. Without excep. 
tion, they aim to cover up our condition, 
п change it. Tiptoeing around 

ke the old man with a young bride, they 
dare not come чо grips—because the 
bride is death. 

The "problem," expressed in whatever 
form—feclings of isol aggressive 
behavior toward one another, massive 
paranoia and the common inability to be- 
lieve, commit or care—derives from а 
single cause, which must be identified, 
simply and without sham, as the fact 
that we grow old and die. The fear of 


aging and death, and in the long гип 
nothing else, 


at the heart of our dis- 


tress. All else is peripheral and finally 
Hence, mo therapeutic 
eatment, however inspirational, can do 


more than apply a coating of salve to 
our concern. The problem is neither 
social nor philosophical, not religious 
nor even psychiatric. Rather, it is based 
solidly on an intolerable recognition 
only now emerging to gencral conscious- 
ness: not merely the knowledge but the 
gut realization that the void is waiting 
for everybody and that each of us is 


y thar life can be 
sunny and lusty, packed with fascinating 
hours; that everybody has the chance to 
turn his span into an adventure filled 
with achievement and lovemaking; and 
that we dance, sky-dive, float in space. 
build marvelous computers and climb 
mountains under the sea. Admit. too. 
that we have never had such music, and 


proliferating excitement, and varieties of 
challenge. Yet, . . 

After the exuberance of being young, 
as young men and women grow only a 
little older, there begins to intrude о 
all our lives a faint disquiet. At first, it 
visits intermittently. The occasional feel- 
ing of a shadow scems not too important, 
perhaps an illusion. Then it reappears. 
In the beginning. the shadow may be 
mistaken for doubt about certai 
such as justice; about the prosperity of 
brutes: a child with leukemia: death to 
the volunteer, safety for the malingerer 
But then the uneasiness grows into some- 
thing more important than doubt. 

An old Marxist cartoon showed lan- 
guid dancers at a ball. A great worker 
fist had rammed up through the dance 
floor. Death to the aristocrats! Bue 
there has always been this larger fist 
bringing death to all classes. The great 
fist of death appears sooner or later to 
everyone, at hist in dim outline, nor 
necessarily brandished in our direction, 
often in repose, but still there. 

We do our best to put the vision off 
somewhere, make it remote. Or close it 
off with black jokes. Any new religion is 
eagerly grasped for a little while. We 
must kick the vision by whatever means. 
The members of our species have neve 
been reconciled to the brutal circum- 
stance that we must die. Through the 
centuries, we have invented an incredi- 
ble number of explanations to account 
for our individual forms decomposing in 
agony and returning to the earth, Hope 
of setting things right with the gods has 
driven us to lunacies of self-denial, cruel- 
ties, persecutions, elaborate ceremonies 


with incense and smoke, dancing around 
totem poles, the thumbscrewing of here- 


s; from Mexico to India, the casting of 
shrieking innocents into pits, and all 
kinds of psychotic, shameful and ludi 
crous practices such as would make wh: 
ever gods might be watching hide thi 
eyes. 

In the East, we have been more subtle, 
attempting to placate destiny by ап elab- 
orate pretense of not wanting to sui 
or preferring nirvana to the etern: 
turn, But elsewhere, listen to the wails, 
songs, shouts, hymns and cha ‘The 
voices of Islam, Judaism, Christianity 
and atheism join as one. Massed units in 


Red Square as well as Vatican City com 
bine their energies in a single mighty 
appeal: Save us. For the beauty and the 


cruelty in the world; the kindness and 
the murder; our art trying to illuminate 
this wilderness; speculations of philoso 
phers; the descent into drugs and drunk 
enness; today's wildly emotional crowds 
rushing around the world's streets—all 
are organized around death 
to protect each of us from 

here or elsewhere. 
Dostoievsky penetrates our situation 
(continued on page 220) 


“Like hell I imagined it. She pinched my ass.” 


gifted playmate sally sheffield Er FACING 
proves that looks and brains can mix 


Before starting a fully scheduled day, sloe-eyed May Playmate Sally Sheffield lounges op- 
peclingly in the buf, then settles down ta some serious piano practice. Sally sees double оз 
she indulges in a quick manicure, and after jumping into her riding breeches and boots, she 
adjusts her fie for a trip ta see Eddie Time, her own registered American quarter horse. 


SY 


WHEN ASKED why she wanted to be a Playmate, brown-haired 
Sally Sheffield candidly replied: "It would be a monetarily 
rewarding way to build up my ego." But even a cursory ex 
amination of Sally's variegated curriculum vitae shows that 
this talented New Yorker hardly requires such psychic ther- 
apy. A dedicated horsewoman since childhood, she has won 
an апау of awards for her equestrian ability—including 
being judged one of the top ten riders in Manhattan's pres 
tigious National Horse Show at a precocious 16. Sally, who 
is аз accomplished on the piano as she is in the show ring, 
minored in music at Massachusetts’ Wellesley College (where 
she took her bachelor’s degree in psychology), then went on 
to Boston's New England Conservatory of M earning 
both a master's degree in musicology and a teaching fellow- 
ship in English literature, "Though I love books," she say 
1 love music even more. The piano is my serious instru- 
ment; but for fun, and to learn folk songs, I also play the 
guitar and the autoharp.” (For our less musicologically ori- 
ented readers, the latter is a zitherlike instrument that pro- 
duces chords rather than individual notes.) Her musical 
inclinations helped prepare her for a parttime career as a 
folk singer in Boston coffeehouses and landed her a leading 
role in an NBC television series for children titled The First 
Look, for which she also co-authored the music. "Although 
I'm a dropout from the Ph. D. program at the conservatory, 
lly says, “I'll probably wind up teaching music history at 
some point." Her goals for the immediate future arc far 
from professorial, however: "I suppose my ambitions are 
not really unique—to enjoy good health, happiness, a solid 
marriage and a career to keep me from stagnating. I try 
hard to guard against mental laziness, because I'm con. 

my mind will wither if I don't keep it exercised.” 
wishes she had more spare time to globe-trot ("I did spend 
ight months working in ап Israeli kibbutz—artificially 


inseminating hens, of all things—but next time, I'd like to be a camera-toting tourist"); to learn another language (she's already 
fluent in French and Hebrew); and to consume more books. Her literary tastes range from Joseph Conrad and Т. S. Eliot to her 
alltime favorite story, The Wizard of Oz. “But as fond as I am of fictional wizards,” she says, “I want my reallife hero to be 
flexible and fun-loving, though he should be stronger willed than I am—to keep me in line. What 1 look for most in a man is 
personal integrity; Moshe Dayan and Adlai Stevenson earned my admiration because of their courage and their honesty.” When 
not daydreaming about her ideal man and freelancing as an actress-folk singer, Miss May divides her time between the riding 
academy and her West Side pad—writing music, catching up on her reading and sharpening her culinary skills. Her idea of a 
perfect evening at home is an elegant French dinner à deux (from escargots bourguignon through crepes suzette) followed by 
lazing cozily before an open fire. With Sally Sheffield аз а companion, that would approximate our idea of a perfect evening, too. 


On her way to Ryon's School of Equitation in Brooklyn for its annual horse show, Sally plans her strategy for the upcoming competition; 
сп reaching the stable, she breaks into o confident grin. "| suppose my med love of riding just comes naturally from my mother's 
having bı 9 instructress,"’ Sally says. Putting Eddie through his paces, our equestrienne extraordinaire tokes him easily over а 
hurdle—ultimotely winning с trophy and a blue ribbon for first place in the pleasure-horse closs. To celebrate her victory, e small group 
of Sally's friends gathers afterward in her Centrol Park West apartment for a demonstration of her equally prizeworthy culinary arts. 


Attending an exhibitian of vintage American furniture at Madison Avenue’s Parke-Bernet Gal- 
leries, Sally fingers the keyboard of an antique harpsichord. After testing it, she's soon so 
thoroughly engrossed in her playing that she doesn't notice the crawd she has attracted until her 
audience shows its appreciation by spontaneously applauding after she’s completed a Bach 
fugue. A weekend theater date leads to а postcuriain promenade down the Great White Way 
and an animated discussion of the show's merits; later, Miss May happily accepts some monly 
support оз she watches the bright lights af Manhattan from the vantage point of Times Square. 


GATEFOLO PHOTOGRAPH EY POMPEO POSAR 


PLAY BOY’S PARTY JOKES 


l have a friend who thinks he may have a 
venereal disease,” said the embarrassed young 
man to his doctor. 

“Well,” replied the physician, “take him out 
and let's have a look at him.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines music lover 
as a girl who'll do it for a song. 


lifting two 
опе on each arm. “Wow,” said a nearby girl 
watcher to his crony, "look at the dolls on that 
boob!” 


The bartender presented the conventioneer 
with the bill, and the customer was outraged. 
“New York is the most expensive place in the 
world,” he complained. “Why, back in Sioux 
City, you can drink as much as you want 
without paying, sleep in a fancy hotel for free 
and wake up and find fifty dollars on your 
pillow.” 

“Come on, now,” questioned the bartender. 
“Нав that ever happened to you?” 

"No," the man admitted, “But it happens to 
my wife all the time. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines bigotry as 
an Italian redwood, 


Lecturing a class of coeds on the anatomical 
intricacies of the male reproductive organ, the 
exasperated professor finally declared: “I don't 
know why you girls can't grasp this subject. 
You've had it pounded into you all semester.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines Mother's 
Day as nine months after Father's Day. 


The wealthy financier was sitting in his study 
when his eldest son came to him. “Dad,” the 
boy stammered, “I got a girl in trouble and 
she wants two thousand dollars to keep quiet 
about it.” 

‘The father reluctantly wrote a check for the 
amount; but just as he finished signing it, his 
second son burst in with the same bad news, 
only this time the amount requested was $3000. 
While he was writing the second check, his 
youngest daughter appeared at the door of the 
study, weeping. 

"Daddy she sobbed uncontrollably, “I 
think I'm pregnant.” 

"Aha," the financier exclaimed gleefully. 
“Now we collect. 


In the darkness of the allbutempty theater 
balcony, the couple embraced so passionately 
that the man’s toupee slid from his head. 
Guoping to find it іп the darkness, he reached 
under his date's 

“That's it, that’s it,” she gasped. 

"It can't be," the fellow retorted. “I part 
mine on the side. 


Then there was the secretary who was so 
dumb she thought a penal colony was an all- 
male nudist camp. 


Do you really think I can be a star?" coced the 
young actress, snuggling closer to the famous 
producer. 

“1 certainl 


do," replied the showman. 
"You're already starting to make it bi 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines wife 
swapping as a type of sexual fourplay. 


The devastating blonde was arrested for prosti- 
tution and taken to court. "Have you any- 
thing to offer the gentlemen of the jury on 
your own behalf?" asked the judge. 

“Oh, no, your Honor,” she answered. “I've 
learned my lesson.” 


According to a middleaged soothsayer we 
know, anyone who can still do at 60 what he 
did at 20 probably wasn't doing much at 20. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines mistress as 
halfway between a mister and a mattress. 


The father was distressed by his 13-year-old 
son's preoccupation with breasts. The boy 
would repeatedly point to attractive girls and 
whisper: "Hey, Dad, look at the knockers on 
that опе!” 

"The father finally took the boy to a psychia- 
trist, who assured him that just ome day's 
intensive therapy could cure the boy. When 
the session was over, father and son walked 
several blocks to a bus stop. The boy remained 
silent as they passed a number of pretty 3 
As they boarded the bus, the father was in- 
wardly complimenting the psychiatrist. Then 
his son tugged at his sleeve and whispered: 
“Hey, Dad, look at the ass on that bus driver!” 


Heard a good one lately? Send it on a post- 
card to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, Playboy 
Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave, Chicago, 
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


"I don't feel like it now that youre up here—I’ve got a headache." 


personality By GEORGE F. GILDER тнлт кір over there, 
creeping up to Mrs, Jones’ hammock with a jar of water, 
is William F. Buckley, Jr. Watch him. He will be a 
legend in his own time, He lives with his family i 
Sharon, Connecticut, and is very conservative. He is 
about to pour the water on Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Jones will 
shortly realize—in the idiom to be popularized by Bob 
Dylan some 35 years later—that something is happening; 
but she won't know what it is. She will not appreciate, 
as she feels the water run through her hair and down her 
hack, that it is holy water and good for her atheist soul. 
She will not recognize the Roman Catholic ritual of 
Asperges, being performed, on an emergency basis in the 
absence of a priest, by the little catechumen from the 


, aSp-tongued scourge 


mansion next door, She will not immediately grasp her 
role in Bill Buckley's novitiate in conservative evangelism. 
Like v ic Dwight MacDonald, she will think Bill 
is a spoiled brat; and when—as a result of the brat’s min- 
istrations—she goes to heaven, she will be very surprised. 

Some three and a half decades later, Buckley still suf- 
fers from such hasty misjudgments. From timc to time, for 
example, he urges that the United States contemplate 
dropping bombs on such threats to the free world as Com- 
munist China, Castro Cuba and the editorial room of The 
New York Times. But it is a e to call him а 
monger. Buckley would emphasize they are holy bombs, 
issuing from a righteous power, the United States, at a 
time of desperate emergency for the cause of freedom. He 


ILLUSTRATION BY MARTIN HOFFMAN 


of the left and the liberal establishment, author, editor and debater who drives his adversaries to distraction and the dictionary 


might suggest that the bombs would be good for the 
people, if not the leaders, of the recipient states, and that 
the survivors would be gratefully surprised when, as a 
result of our aerial ministrations, they found themselves 
free. Since he has been mellowing in recent years, he 
would also point out his use of the word “contemplate”; 
Buckley is prone to bombadocio, but he is not sure we 
should actually drop unwarranted bombs. All we should 
do is publicly think about it, 

Buckley is also thought in some circles—such as Gore 
Vidal's mind—to be a racist or a Nazi. Vidal made the 
charge of Nazism on national television during conven- 
tion week last summer. Moreover, when Buckley's maga- 
zine, National Review, titled a story on Adam Clayton 


Powell The Jig Is Up, Baby, a great many observers over- 
looked the fact that Buckley was raised as a gentleman 
and attended private schools where “jig” would refer 
only to song and dance, but never to race. Buckley detests 
racism. He resigned indignantly from the American Mer- 
cury magazine when it began to take an anti-Semitic 
course; and in 1968, he bitterly opposed George Wallace. 

So our subject is nothing so dreary as a racist or a war- 
monger, though his enemies wish he were so vulnerably 
predictable. Buckley is not easy to anticipate. Follow him 
as he drives his car through New York. He is turning the 
wrong way down a one-way street. Is he a nut? No, he is 
a distinguished citizen of this town and a few years back 
he ran for mayor. It figures—one-way streets, mayoralty 


campaigns—a suicidal nut. But before 
you dismiss him, you should hear what 
he has to say, for he is a marvel with 
words. The traffic piles up in the other 
direction, the drivers tooting their horns, 
yelling obscenities and waving their 
hands in protest—behaving, in fact, 
a crowd of average New Yorkers at a 
Buckley speech. (Watch; The black m 
tants are rising to leave, the Students for 
a Democratic Society are booing, the 
Young Americans for Freedom are on 
their feet waving flags, students from 
Bronx High School of Science are bronx 
cheering) Coolly viewing the scene, 
Buckley turns to his companion and 
says, "Look—all the cars are going the 
wrong way. 

Buckley long has been prone to as 
sume that other people are going the 
wrong way, particularly if they are New 
Yorkers blowing horns. He is founder 
and editor of National Review, a maga- 
zine pledged to "stand athwart history 
yelling stop.” He is married to an ele- 
gant brunette, Patricia, whose loftily cool 
assurance rivals that of Sky Pilot Moun- 
tain, the snow-capped peak that over- 
looks her home town of Vancouver, 
British Columbia. He is an honors grad 
uate of Yale, where he was anointed by its 
most snow-capped club, the Fence, and 
was editor of the college newspaper, 
during Buckley's tenure regarded by the 
faculty as the Yale Daily Nuisance. 

Excluding the nuclear threats, the holy 
water and a hypotheucal punch m the 
nose for Gore Vidal, the chief weapons 
of the Buckley rebellion have always 
been words, preferably of polysyllables 
unknown to his auditors. At 43, he is 
author of eight books full of them, rang 
ing from a defense of Senator Joseph 
McCarthy to The Unmaking of a Mayor, 
his charming account of his own mayor- 
alty caper. His latest effort, a collection 
of columns and articles titled The Jewel- 
er's Bye, has gone through seven print- 
ings and has sold over 40,000 copies. Last 
year, reluctantly contemplating a рої 
cal campaign against liberal Republican 
Senator Jacob Javits, he wondered “if it 
would be legiti to win the primary 
and then re (presumably—since 
Buckley із becoming the George Plimp- 
ton of the political scene—to write an- 
other book, perhaps to be called Paper 
Politician). 

Finally, Buckley deferred in the Senate 
race to his brother James, who declined 
to enter the Republican prin 
in the election as а Conservative 
to help the Democrats unseat Javits. 
Javits did better than ever, as James 
Buckley, like William before him, was 
trampled in the one-way traffic of New 
York establishment. politics. Meanwhile, 
the Buckleys continue to consider them- 
selves Republicans, and William often 
uses his newspaper column to lecture New 
York Republicans оп party loyalty. 
132 column does not seem to suffer any ге 


PLAYBOY 


ership loss from such inconsistencies. It is 
carried by over 280 papers, second only 
to Drew Pearson's column, despite its 
elevated style, claborate ironies and can- 
tankerous views. Buckleys success has 
almost always come without pandering 
(ie, making himself consistently intelli 
gible or conceptually ingratiating) to the 
Targer public. As he told a student inter- 
viewer, “From the time 1 was in school, I 
have always tried to avoid being one of 
the boys. And I have succeeded, don't 
you think?” 

His rebellion presumably began with a 
congenital cry. and he has been continu- 
ing it ever since. At the age of six, 
he wrote an unavailing letter to King 
George VI, demanding immediate repay 
ment of the British war debt. Following 
the premiere of the movie The Taming 
of the Shrew, Buckley recalled that he 
had enjoyed acting a part in the play аз 
a child because “I got the chance to sling 
my governess over my shoulder.” While a 
student at an English prep school, he 
asserted the chauvinism that has become 
a theme of his career by replacing his 
bedspread with a giant American flag. 

Other inst ons that evoked Buck 
ley's displeasure soon after he joined 
them were Millbrook School, Yale Uni- 
versity and the United States Army. He 
entered the Army toward the end of 
World War Two. Having just graduated 
from prep school, Buckley had an idea 
or two about military organization, and 
his Army base just didn't measure up. So 
he wrote the commanding officer a re- 
spectful but firm memorandum pointing 
out his mistakes. Unfortunately, how- 
ever, the advice was intercepted and the 
Army never got the benefit of Buckley's 
criticisms. 

This setback taught the fu 
of going through a chain of command 
and it is not recorded that he ever made 
the mistake again. To voice his dissatis- 
faction with what he felt was a faculty 
bias at Yale in favor of atheism and 
socialism, he used еуегу available forum, 
from the college пем" er to an alumn 
day speech. After graduation, he even 
wrote a best-selling book on the subject, 
God and Man at Yale. “The duel be- 
tween Christianity and 
wrote, "is the most impor 
world . . . the struggle between individu- 
alism and collectivism is the same strug- 
produced on ther level" Yale, 
he insisted, could not evade the struggle 
under what he regarded as the specious 
pretext of "academic freedom.” Continu- 
for his alma mater, 
ar ran for the university 
'd of trustees, He lost to Cyrus Vance, 
Deputy Secretary of Defense under Lyn- 
don Johnson. 

Although Buckley has not been insti 
tutionalized again since his eruption 
from the Army (he was a first licutenant 
when he was discharged 1946). he 
feels similarly oppressed by the informal- 


ly organized but everywhere influential 
“American liberal establishment.” Thi 
authority prevails, rather like a univer- 
aculty, one gathers from Buckley, 
in the intellectual world where he lives 
much of his life. His subsequent publi 
cations, speeches and campaigns thus cin 
be seen as а continuation—on another 
level—of his earlier struggles against edu- 
cational and military authorities. 

Like George VI, the American liberal 
establishment in general has managed to 
retain its sovereign composure. In fact, 
many of Buckley's opponents are be 
coming increasingly appreciative of his 
charms. His Pied.Piping rhetoric and wit 
have assembled a considerable following: 
among modes d liberals, particu 
larly on campus. But a great many of 
Buckley's most ard. admirers would 
never dream of voting for him. They 
regard him, according to one of his Yale 
associates, as "the perfect cocktail-party 
ntellectual" Although his television 
program, Firing Line, his column, maga- 
zine articles and political campaign all 
мезі that he has transcended the cock- 
tailparty medium, it is still true that 
Buckley's message is sometimes more ap- 
pealing if one has had a drink: for 
example, his notion that the United 
States should stop treating low-level nu- 
clear explosives as if they were some- 
thing special. 

Provocation is an essential instrument 
of Buckley's and of his attraction. He 
ıs the man who manages to summon up 
on the spot the crushing retort or mor- 
dant jape that occurs to the rest of us on 
the way home—or occurs to the rest of 
us and is tactfully repressed. And he 
accompanies his wit with any of a huge 
repertory of facial expressions and vocal 
inflections. “He could make a fortune on 
Broadway,” reporter Robert J. Donovan 
has observed. 

Buckley's instant reaction last year to 
an explosion in the street was, “Uh-oh, 
someone must have shown Lyndon a 
other portrait" Moderate Republic: 
fare no better than Democrats. George 
Romney, Buckley said, must learn to 
speak "in a way which docs not require а 
battery of scholars to situate u. But 
perhaps he is just receiving ambiguous 
signals from the other world." He calls 
John Lindsay an oxymoron (the prefix 
“oxy” means "brighi"—so, presumably. 
Buckley regards. Lind: 
selí-contradiction). 

W.F. В.з charms are not entirely 
intellectual, Tall and athletic, cas 
dress, graceful in movement, he conveys 
to a large number of his youthful ad 
ers the impression that he is, secretly, 
swinger. Although Buckley does not 
flaunt his private life, is clearly not 
austere. He is an active skier, sailor and 
т. Asked what kind of people he 
likes. he answers, “I like my friends. 
These are not named. though he does 

(continued on page 236) 


exis By THOMAS MARIO 


| CAPTIVATINGLY CLEAR 


from a rich harvest of raspberries, cherries, 
plums and pears come those distillates of 


pure delight; the “white” fruit brandies 


nosis faced with the question of м 
rinks to pour before and after their 
dinner parties should never forget the 
noted English food-and-drink luminary 
Winston Churchill. At a sumptuous polit- 


ical luncheon, he once bowled over both 
top-echelon guests and stunned май by 
suddenly commanding, “Take away this 
pudding: it has no theme. 

The great European. white [ruit b 


ап- 


PHOTOGRAPH BY DWIGHT HOOKER 


dies do һауе a theme, replete with excit- 
ing prospects for both getting a party 
going and concluding it. The theme із 
Blakelike in its liquid simplicity: Certain 
fruits, when (continued on page 247) 


The lake Geneva playboy club-horel 


nifold pleasures abound 


wHAT is rr about the Playboy Club. 
Hotel in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, that 
unches normally levelheaded people on 
flights of poetic fancy? Henry Kisor, тє 
porting in the Chicago Daily News on 
а weekend spent at the luxury resort 
wrote: "When all the reviewers called 
this place ‘Xanadu’ after that pleasure 
dome Coleridge built in his mind, they 
weren't doing it justic 

is wildest hashish trip, could never have 
imagined the Playboy Glub-Hotel. 
editors of Institutions, the restaurant. 
industry magazine, headlined а 16-page 
feature on Playboy's Lake Geneva oper- 
ation “EVERYMAN’s EDEN.” And synd 
cated columnist Irv Kupcinet 
the Chicago Sun-Times: 
boggle the mind 

Arnold J. Morton, Executive Vice-Pres- 
ent of Playboy Clubs International 
and the man who masterminded the de- 
velopment of this 1000-acre pleasure 
preserve—an arca that could contain the 
principality of Monaco almost three 
times ova—explains its otherworldly ap- 
peal: “We've created a total environment 
here. You have the feeling that even i 
you're from Chicago or Milwaukee or 
right down the road, you're very, very 
far from home the moment you drive 
through the gates.” The opportur 
feel luxuriously at home a 
home has drawn to Lake Gene 
sands of golfers, armchair sportsmen, 
equestrians, night people, day people, 
skeet shooters, gourmets, boaters, bons 
vivanis, swimmers, skiers (snow and 
water, (text continued on page 144) 


Playboy's 1000-осге wonderland, the sumpru- 
aus new Club-Hatel ot Lake Geneva, Wiscon- 
sin, as seen fram the air. This opproach is 
becoming increasingly popular since Playbay's 
private airport added facilities to handle 
everything from Fiper Cubs to executive jets. 


135 


The good life, оз it's lived ot Playboy's Loke 
Genevo Club-Hotel, begins os you enter the 
lush lobby (ей) of the Main Lodge. The trop- 
icol plontings, pebbled surfaces ond rough- 
hewn redwood beams seem !o drow the 
outdoors within the wolls of the building 
Warm colors, nubby-textured fobrics ond 
polished metols creote on oir of masculine 
comfort in the suites (юр left), several of which 
feoture round beds, bors ond fireplaces. The 
recreotional focilities ovoiloble outside ore 
no less lavish. Lovers of reloxation may choose 
to reconnoiter the grounds in a horse-drown 
surrey or do a bit of ди! watching on the 
sun deck by the terroce pool—where bikinied 
Bunnies stond by to provide thirst quenchers 
on request. Energetic types moy elect to im. 
prove their diving form or to try their luck 
on one of РЮуЬоуз two chompionship golf 
courses, both of which will be open for play 
lore this summer. The resort's first 1B-hole loy- 
out, designed by golf architect Robert Bruce 
Horris, debuted lost yeor and hos thus for de- 
feoted most attempts—both professionol and 
‘omoteur—at brecking its por of 72. The sec- 
ond course wos blueprinted by Jock Nick- 
lous and architect Pete Dye to resemble the 
rolling links of venerable Scottish courses 


Cocktails ond dinner at dusk on the terrace 
autside the Playmate Bor {apposite poge), with 
its view of Playboy's 25-ccre lake, provide с 
prelude ta on eventful evening at the Lake 
Geneva Club-Hotel. The next day's fun cauld 
include o turn at such popular pastimes os 
shooting on on elaborately equipped trap and 
skeet range; pool in the Cortoon Corner game 
roam of the Main Lodge; tennis on one of four 
courts adjoining the golf driving range; er rid- 
ing through the “bock country,’ deliberately 
left in its postaral stote by the planners of 
Floyboy’s inn tor all seasons. Lessons іп horse- 
menship—English or Western style—ore avail- 
able ta Club-Holel guests; instruction is alsa 
offered in a wide range of activities, from golf 
to flying. The heorty appetites induced by this 
sporting life can be ossucged |below} ct the 
Lucullon buffer in the Living Каст. Seen in 
the background із LeRay Meimon's panaramic 
72-aot mural, The Hunt of the Unicorn, which 
was commissioned especially for this roam. 


Winter offers on exhiloroling arroy of sports 
ot the Lake Genevo Club-Holel. Swimmers 
[obove) move to the lavishly landscoped in 
door pool. Skiers toke to the hills beside the 
picturesque Ski Lodge, designed in the shope 
of joined snow/lokes by Alexonder Mcllvaine, 
the orchitect who created the Squow Volley 
complex for the 1960 Winter Olympics. А! the 
foot of the slopes, ski-uiled Snow Bunnies ply 
schussers with mugs of hot wossoil. Meon- 
while, back at the Moin Lodge, о quintet of 
toboggoners races down the run to the lake 
side, The frozen surfoce of the lake is cleared 
for skoting; ond snowmobiling enthusiosts 
stage impromptu gymkhonos. The oprés-ski 
crowd congregates in the Jug of Wine bor 
for hot buttered rum, while ployful couples 
hend out far an nle-foxhioned sleigh ride 


After-dark entertainment at Lake Geneva is 
diversified to suit every maad. The VIP Roam 
(above) offers gourmet repasts in on otmo: 

phere of quiet elegance. Liza Minnelli (right) 
typifies the stor performers who headline 
shows in the luxuriaus Penthause. The Bunny 
Hutch disco (opposite poge) cambines a 
spoced-aut light shaw and hard-rock beot, and 
such groovy combos as The New Zealand Trad- 


ing Company (below) swing in the Playmate Bor 


PLAYBOY 


14 


billiard players, fishermen, showbiz buffs, 
business tycoons, girl watchers, girls to 
watch, cyclists, lovers and other wor- 
shipers of the good life in all of its mani- 
festations. Toward that end, Playboy 
has called its second Club-Hotel (the 
first is the lush tropical resort at Ocho. 
) the inn for all sea 
There's something going for you, 
whatever your bag may be, around the 
clock and throughout the year. If you 
haven't yet savored the Lake Geneva 
experience, journey along with prayRoy 
on a vicarious visit to our unique Wis- 
consin resort. 

That faraway feeling begins to assert 
itself as you near the area, whether 
you're driving through the rolling Wis 
consin countryside or flying over it on 
your approach to Playboy's private air- 
port on the grounds (the field, with its 
4100-foot landing strip, is large enough 
to accommodate executive jet planes). 
The gendy contoured landscape could 
have been lifted from a European travel 
poster. If you can imagine the Swiss 
foothills without the sharp pinnacles of 
the Alps for background, you have south- 
eastern Wisconsin and the environs of 
the Playboy Club-Hotel. 

‘As you approach, and set back from the 
highway, is the entrance to the Playboy 
Club-Hotel grounds, on Cottontail Trail. 
Fluttering colorfully from tall flagstafis 
are Playboy's Rabbit banner and the flags 
of the United States. Canada, Jamaica 
and Great Britain—countries in which 
Playboy Clubs flourish. If you're arriving 
by car, you're welcomed by the gatehouse 
guard, to whom you present your Playboy 
Key-Card. Beyond, the drive winds up 
and downhill through lanes of trees, 
illuminated at night by wroughtiron gas 
lanterns. This time of year, you may be 
surrounded by pink clouds of flowering 
crabapple tees, In summer, you'll see 
the delicate green and white of slender 
birches; in fall, flaming crimson maples; 
and in winter, bushy Chrisumas-tree 
Douglas firs. The landscaping, like every- 
thing else at Playboy's Lake Geneva re- 
sort, is designed to call attention to the 
Club-Hotel's four-season attractions. 

Ranged along the crest of a hill over- 
looking the 25-acre Playboy lake arc 
seven interconnected buildings that 
make up the central complex of the 
Club-Hotel. Spreading over the length of 
five football fields, the structures give the 
impression of rugged strength wedded to 
luxurious comfort. Searching for archi- 
tectural comparisons, many observers 
have come up with the name of Frank 
Lloyd Wright in his Taliesin period. 
Powerful horizon lines are created 
by great beams of dark-stained, rough- 
sawn redwood, which set off the paler, 
variegated hues of the pebble-textured 
concrete-aggregate walls. Wide expanses 
of bronze tinted solar glass expand the 
vistas of those inside, enhancing the vis- 


ual effect of unity with the surroundings. 
As you approach the Main Lodge, which 
is flanked by three residential wings. 
you pass beneath a canopy hewn from 
giant redwoods. There, a bellman takes 
your bags and ushers you into the lobby. 

On your left is the registration desk; 
to your right, the sunken entrance 
lounge, with its enormous open-hearth 
fireplace, in which low gas flames create 
the illusion of a bed of stones on fire. 
The fireplace із glassbacked; and if 
you've arrived at night, you can look 
through it into the action scene at the 
psychedelic Bunny Hutch discotheque— 
about which, more later. Directly ahead. 
as you enter the Club-Hotel are multi- 
mpscs of shops and 
rs that appear to be 
rising out of a wall of greenery. Day- 
light filters down from unseen skylights: 
at might, hidden spotlights outline the 
tracery of leaves. These are living trees, 
vines, shrubs—part of а $20,000 annual 
investment in rare plants—growing in 
terraces of the same rough-textured con- 
crete and stone that makes up the out- 
side walls of the Club-Hotel. 

A temperature diflerential tells you 
you're indoors; your eyes aren't so sure. 
"The architecture. of the Lake Geneva 
Club-Hotel represents а blending of the 
talents of Playboy's interior-design staff 
with those of architects Robert L. Taege 
and Paul Magierek of Taege's firm, who 
developed the total design concept. 

"People who go to a resort want to 
feel that they're part of the countryside, 
not enclosed in a glass ball" says Ma- 
gierek. “These bu Igs ате not а state- 
ment of man's superiority over nature 
but of man's ability to enjoy nature by 
becoming part of 

Here's what some observers have said 
about 

Institutions magazine: "Like something 
you never saw before . . . what might be 
called. distinctive rustic opulence. 

Actor Tony Randall, appearing on 
Jack Eigen's radio show broadcast from 
the resort: “Breath-taking. Conceivably 
the handsomest hotel I've ever seen.” 

Eigen himself: “Fabulous—a tremen- 
dous place, I’ve becn around for many 
years, in Las Vegas, California, Europe 
—but I don't think I've scen anything 
that can compare with tl 

Chicago's American columnist Maggie 
Daly: “Incredibly beautiful. It just lifts 
you out in space, like a dream." 

And reporter Bill Porterfield, іп а 
page-one article in Chicago's Daily News, 
described Playboy's yearround play 
ground as “а paradise.” 

Playboy's Lake Geneva ClubHotel is 
so conveniently located (а 90-minute 
drive from Chicago, 45 minutes from Mil. 
waukee) that many fun lovers drop 
just for a day's golfing or an evening's 
nightclubbing. The best way to get in 
the swing, however, is t0 check. into one 


of its 300 rooms for a luxurious and 
axi "П have your choice of 
celebrity 
nd wet bar; 
€ suite with fireplace and color 
VIP suite with parlor and 
connecting bedroom; hospitality suite 
suitable for partics or small business 
gatherings; or, if you really want to 
splurge, reserve the superopulent, soon- 
to-be-completed Hugh M. Hefner Pi 
housc, where you'll be able to entertain 
as many as 200 guests at cocktails and 
buffet in the 50-by-40-foot living room. 

The living accommodations were de- 
signed by Richard Himmel, a noted 
Chicago decorator, whose previous work 
has included the remodeling of the Am 
bassador East and West hotels in С 
and the Georgetown Inn іп Washing- 
ton, D.C. There are three color 
schemes—red, blue and gokl—and th 
feeling ік thoroughly masculine, 
rough and casual fabrics contrasting with 
leathery vinyls and polished metals. “De 
a room for a man," says Himmel, 
ind the girls will be crazy about it, too. 
They love the feeling of being in the 
environment of a man's world." 

Once you've settled into your room 
and checked the view from your balcony, 
you'll be ready for a Playboy-sized drink 
and possibly a bite to eat. Your problem? 
Which one of ten strategically located 
watering spots shall you try first? Or 
do you wish prompt room service? lt 
all depends on your mood, rhe hour and 
your plans for the rest of the day or 
evening. Chances are you'll want to start 
out Playmate Bar on the main 
level: it’s probably the best spot for get 
ting into the spirit of thi with 
beautiful Bunnies (live) to serve you 
and beautiful Playmates (on film) to 
delight the eye. The view through a 
panoramic expanse of bronze-tinted glass 
allords, in daytime, a view of lake and 
golf course; at night, a fantastic trompe 
l'oeil, in which likenesses of lush nudes 
appear to be suspended from invisible 
wires strung between the birch trees. 
Pure serendipity, according to the archi 
tects; nobody realized what would happen 
when the illuminated Playma 
parencies behind the bar were reflected 
off the mirrorlike sheen of the windows. 


which is 
appropriate, since an outstanding feature 
of this room is the loaf of home-baked 
bread thats served with your dinner. 
Petite ladies have been known to m 
a meal of the generous pink shrimp 
cocktail, but you'll probably want to or 
der a steak. The sirloin strip is firstchair. 
Those with truly ravenous appetites 
would do well to head for the buffet in 
the Living Room. There, the talents of de- 
signer Himmel and artist LeRoy Neiman 
(continued on page 148) 


a plot by legendary beasts 
to take over the world? 
the patient was obviously out of his mind 


cbe CHIMERAS 


fiction BY ARTHUR KOESTLER 


“RELAX,” said Dr. Grob. 

"How can a man relax when the chimeras are after him?" 
complained Anderson, fidgeting on the couch. 

“Relax, relax," said Dr. Grob. “Close your eyes. Tell me the 
first word that comes into your head.” 

“Chimera,” said Anderson 
fou are not properly relaxed," 
patient, hardly audible yawn. “Try again. 

“Chimeras,” said Anderson. “They are after me. They are 
after you, too. Only you don't realize it, because you yourself 
suffer from a low-grade chimeric infection—grade three, 1 
should say, or maybe grade four. The infection produces a 
blind spot, so you cannot sce them.” 

Look," said Dr. Grob. “Who is the patient here, and who 
is the doctor?" 

“That is what I don't know," Anderson said doubtfully. 

“Then why do you come to me and pay me a hundred 
dollars an hour?" 

“То talk about chimera: 
while. then nodded. that is the purpose." 

"АП right, then," said Dr. Grob. He stopped taking notes, 
put his pen away and leaned back in his chair. "What is a 
chimera? Animal, vegetable or mineral 

"It is difficult to decide," said Anderson. "Everybody knows 
that the Greek chimeras had lions’ heads, goats’ bodies and 
serpents’ tails. But they are also in the brain.” 

“In whose brain?” 

“Іп yours, for instance. [ believe it is only a low-grade 
infection, but if you don't take care, it will spread and 
eventually you will turn into a full-blown chimera yourself. 
Anyway, you need a haircut," 

Dr. Grob looked furtively into the mirror concealed in the 
top drawer of his desk and for a moment tried to visualize 
himself with a lion's head. The idea was not unpleasant: 
whatever people say, a lion is а noble animal. Ас for the goat 
and the serpents tail, they were obviously products ol his 
patient's sick imagination. 

“Can't you think of anything | (continued on page 235) 


Dr. Grob with a 


" said Anderson. He thought for a 


PLAYBOY 


148 


playboy club-Horel кы пон page 144) 


have combined to create the atmosphere 
of a modernized medieval hunting lodge. 
Gucsts seated at trestled tables may view 
Neiman's impressive mural, The Hunt 
of the Unicorn, which covers two walls 
of the large room. The bullet itself is 
spread out on a giant burnished-copper 
table, which you're expected to visit at 
least three times—for appetizers, hot 
dishes and desserts. The selection is near 
stupcfying and offerings vary daily, but 
don't miss the broiled tomatoes, the 
artichoke hearts, the pickled fish, the can- 
nelloni, the blueberry tarts, the cheese- 
cake, the. . . . Enough, Just go to the 
Living Room hungry. (The same advice 
applies for breakfast and lunch in this 
room.) If your taste for the moment runs 
more to a beer and a hamburger, drop 
in at the Sidewalk Café, where you can 
watch passing Bunnies, as well as bathers 
en route to the indoor and outdoor 
pools. It's alo a prime location for 
windowshopping, since it's situated at 
one end of the indoor avenue of shops 
lining the main level of the Lodge. 
Perhaps what you have in mind is 
а multicourse gourmet repast, or dinner 
and а show. Make your way up the 
grand staircase to the upper level. To 
your right is the VIP Room, one of the 
country's outstanding restaurants; to your 
left is the luxurious Penthouse show- 
room, headquarters lor top talent. The 
VIP Room's cpicurcan cuisine is matched 
only by its elegant atmosphere (gentle 
cascades of water in reflecting pools, 
gleaming silverware, brilliant crystal, 
elegant blue decor, soft candlelight, and 
irreproachable service from a full stafi of 
Bunnies liveried butlers and attentive 
maitres d'hótel). Spécialités de la maison 
indude oysters Rockefeller as prepared 
by Chef Michel Cipolla (who came to 
Lake Geneva from the London Playboy 
Club and the Hôtel de Paris in Monte 
entrecáte hand de win; 


mar 


fruits—and v 
Room's distinguished. cellar. 

The green-and.gold, 400.seat Penthouse 
is the home of star-studded  showtim 
You'll want to reserve a table for th 
nights entertainment—either following. 
your VIP Room feast or after dinner 
right there in the Penthouse. The show- 
room menu's offerings come from the 
same kitchen as those of the VIP Room 
and its quality meets those lofty stand- 
ards. On stage, there arc name stars every 
night. Featured to date have been such 
ers as Bill Cosby, Julie London, 
MacRae, Sa 


Mimi Hines, Tony М hann 
Carroll and Liza Minnelli, Among those 
immediately upcoming: The Checkmates, 
Мір Wilson, Barb: McNair and Lainie 


Kazan. Wherever you sit, you'll enjoy the 
artistry of these and other performers 
from a ringside seat. Chicago Daily News 
critic Sam Lesner called the Penthouse 
masterfully arranged . . . superb light- 
ing and perlect visibility, А  12-piece 
orchestra, under the direction of pianist 
George Gatiney. is опе ol the best 
this part of the country. . . . The Lake 
Geneva Playboy Club's Penthouse will 
become a great magnet for Chicago-area 
entertainment seckers.” Institutions com- 
mented that the Penthouse provides " 
considered elegance—like extra space 
etween the tables—just to avoid being 
even the most popular night clubs 
are: hectic. The excellence of the Pent 
house sound system plays a role, too, in 
creating this excitement. 

As you leave the showroom, you'll see 
several other rooms on the upper level. 
The Milwaukee, Madison, Lake Geneva 
and Chicago Rooms are only four of 
the ten meeting rooms, seating from 40 
to 480 persons, available at the Playboy 
Club-Hotel in Lake Geneva. These have 
proved particularly popular for organ 
zational gatherings. Also on the upper 
level is the Playboy Forum, an clectroni 
cally equipped 80-seat theater equally in 
demand by business groups. This doubles 
on occasion as a movichouse; there have 
been badweather showings of feature 
films, a summer series of comedy classics 
arring W. С. Fields and Laurel and 
Hardy, and Saturday-afternoon cartoon 
shows for the small fry. 
tertainment holds forth nightly, too, 
the Playmate Bar, which you might 
like to revisit after dinner to catch the 
musical combo. It’s a groovy scene. But 
the really late show at Lake Geneva is 
the Bunny Hutch discothèque, where 
the lights Hash, the images burst on 
screen, the drinks flow and the bard rock 
rocks till two aM., Wisconsin's summer 
closing hour. The Bunny Hutch shines 
the watering spot for the younger set, 
and the scene is strictly from psychedeli 
Dancers on the polishedsteel floor 
bathed in wildly colored nbows, as 
Bunnies in psychedelic costumes synchro- 
nize the projection of farout slides with 
the musical beat. Flames from the see 
through fireplace are reflected from hun- 
dreds of mirrored disks on the ceiling. 
єп the most stalwart fun-and-games- 
ime, and at Lake 
boy сез to it that you rest 
well when the last light goes out. All the 
furnishings in your room are man-sized, 
ith an cye for sumptuous com- 
fort. In several of the suites, you can 
even make like Hugh Hefner in a round 
bed (not, however, motorized, like the fa- 
mous original in the Playboy Mansion). 

Morning finds you refreshed and 
ready for more extensive explorations of 
Playboy's superspa. И you prefer a lig 
breakfast, stop at the Sidewalk Cafe for 


a Continental repast of juice, rolls 
Heartier appetite? Stoke up 
g Room, where you 
breakfast from the bullet or order your 
favorite specialties—perhaps buuermilk. 
pancakes or eggs Benedict—a la carte. 

Before going out, you may want to 
take a closer look at the shops whose 
windows you found so inwiguing last 
night. You can find anything from cigars 
and paperbacks at Thingsville 10 Wi 
consin cheeses and sausages at L' Epicure. 
to the latest in men’s apparel at the 
Country Gentlemen; or pick up a pres 

nt for your comp: nging from a 
bagatelle to a once-in-alifetime gift, at 
The Clothes Horse boutique (everything 
from beach bags to Dior originals), Har 
пей» Imperial Furs (Ricky lapel pins, 
jasmine mink bikinis and fulllength 
evening wraps) or the House of Domi 
nic, Ltd. (exclusive imports, from paper- 

hs to works of ап). "The Man at 
His Leisure Shop offers barware. crystal 
nd cutlery of the patterns used in the 
VIP Room and elsewhere, and other 
accessories for the well-appointed pad. 
"There are toys at Thingsville Jr. and 
the popular Rabbitbranded items arc 
on sale at the Playboy Gift Shop. Take 
note of the fact that downstairs are a 
barbershop, where you can get the latest 
in masculine hairstyling, and a men-only 
health club, where you can work out on 
exercise equipment or relax in a sauna 
For your lady, there's a smart beauty 
salon next door. 

Also on the avenue are a haven for 
card and billiard bulfs—the Cartoon 
Comer game room, adjacent to the Plav- 
mate Bar—and the (wo swimming pools, 
next to the Living Room, at the other 


ready to take the orders of guests re 
laxing on deeply cushioned lounges as 
they soak up the sunshine. Through a 
glass door is the lavishly landscaped in- 
door pool, with a waterfall cascading 
down a silver sheet on the west wall of 
the building. The sound of rushing water 
provides а muted musical. background 
for patrons seated at the nearby Side 
walk Café. 

You now have a pretty good idea of 
У inside the Main Lodge. Th 
leaves 900-ріше acres to explore, Some 
320 of them are devoted to goli—and il 
you're a real links enthusiast, that may 
be as far as you get in your peregrina: 
tions, Last summer saw the opening of the 

lub-Hotel's first 18-hole championship 
course, designed by Robert Bruce Harris 
very golfer who's played this course 
has praised it; some have damned it as 
well, depending on the altitude of the 
scores. After the Pro-Am Invitational 
inaugurating the course, in which partis 
ipating pros averaged a horrendous 74 
strokes, Golf Digest editor. Howard R 
Gill, Jr. said: “I think the word ths 

(continued on page 20! 


“OK, Hercules, for your next labor we've thought 
up a really tough опе...” 


BA WILLE 
IBS (2 


ova, playing her as a vamp. 
е Valentino in а 1921 
; Norma Talmadge іп 


“Camille 2000's" carnival of concupiscence becomes bizarrely gala when 
the heroine's friend Olympe (Silvana Venturelli, below) redecorates her 
villa in а surrealistic jail motif and stages an undraped prison party of 
orgy proportions (left). Camille's short but stormy affair with Armand 
(Nino Castelnuovo) has already blown over when both of them show up— 
separately—at Olympe's bash, and he is in the mood for revenge. Bottom, 
left to right: After observing such diversions as the courting games of 
two Lesbians and a pilloried centerpiece au naturel, Armand repairs with 
Olympe to a cell, where they provide spectator sport for the assembled 
guests— including Camille. A couple in another cell tries to whip up 
enthusiasm of a different stripe among the S.&M. set, but Olympe 
and Armand steal the show. Next morning, however, as he wanders 
among the debris, Armand realizes that his revenge was bitter, not sweet. 


Ever the avant courtesan, Camille boasts a bedroom equipped with such sci-fi accouterments as a transparent plastic bed 
and a network of mirrors that permits bedmates to quadruple their pleasure—as voyeurs as well as participants. 


“I like life better loud," says Camille, when Armand offers home and hearth in exchange for her life of self-destructive 
sensuality. "It's only the pace at which 1 live that keeps me alive." And, as Armand discovers, that pace is frenetic. 


PLAYBOY 


156 


BERRY-SMASHING DA 


t below the knees, so his whole body 
would buckle and fall backward and 
lose an extra yard and maybe even loosen 
the ball from his. nds, and rolled him 
on the floor on his back till most of the 
flames went out. Then I flipped open 
five quart bottles of cranberry juice, the 
nearest liquid 1 could reach, and poured 
them over Nelson till the fire was doused. 
and relaxed from the ordeal, with m 
breath coming on hard, while all three 
delivery boys uncapped quart and half 
quart bottles of tomato and pineapple 
and apricotorange juice and spilled the 
contents over Nelson, even alter his body 
had stopped smoking, 

“Anyone call the police for ап ambu- 
ance" [ said to the manager, and һе 
repeated the question to the customers 
nd stall surrounding Nelson and me 
nd they just looked at опе anoth 
some shook their heads, one man spex 
ing for his wife, and he said, 
didn’t, nobody said anythin 

"Well. someone call the police for 


k: 
“We 


nce," the manager said. 
nt me to do it. boss?” Richard, 
the food bagger, said. 


“Dial nine one one, Richie.” 

"Nine eleven, right. that new police 
emergency number, right away. Which 
phone should [ wse—the one in the 


осе or the pay one in back?” 
“The office, and quick. now, Nelson's 
hurt.” 
"What I do, what D do for this 
Nelson asked, his eyelids and nostrils 
fluttering, and just my trying to 


blow 


away the ashes on his chest that were 
the remains of his short-sleeve white 
shirt caused him great pain. He seemed 


r smelled 
thers and 


10 be going crazy and h 
si ned chicken Ге 


of juice. Nobody seemed to want to get 

near us or even ger their shoes wet. 
“How do 1 keep him from going into 

shock?" I ed the mari 


there 
"No. 


down." 
“Which do I do?” E 
“Lers keep him fl 
will be here 


asked the manager. 
. th The police 


а sec 
on of diffe 
few minutes 
o the market 


nt sirens was 
nd then the 
and the fire 


masks. 


ble extinguishers 
e from the local city hospi 
son was given oxygen and treated briefly 
for his burns and was being cuvied out 
of the market on а stretcher when he 
yelled, “Boom. damn bomb went boom, 
and 1 saw the man who threw it, saw the 
bum who went boom. 


(continued from page 115) 


“Hold him there for a moment,” a 
police officer yelled to the bearers, but 
said that he'd have to insist 
iot be detained. 

“нм one quick question, please.” And 
to Nelson: “Who'd you sce throw the 
bomb. son? I'm saying.” when Nelson 
looked up at him blankly, "the person 
who threw it, І mean, You know him? 
Could give me а description of h 

“The person was a man,” Nelson said. 
“Tinew it right through it, right at me, 
right through the window at the Heinz 
beans I was ringing up, the catsup, right 
me, went boom, that man went boom, 
id ihe boom went olf like a bomb and 
«| my back, the bum, my back.” 

"Is that what happened? Well, you'll 
be fine and dandy in a few days, son. 
and take 

"Good luck to you, Nelly 
other register clerks said. “Safe recovery." 
"Now, whit happened?" the police 
officer said to me. "And ple it 
ice and slow and suzight. Shorthand's 
not my profession." 


" one of the 


ase os 


My wife asked 
pened ar work that 
just about every n 


ad hap: 
ed 


nd some 
and 1 said. 


e and hands 
shower: 
nothing much.” 


о. 


She said. “Oh, well, it's because you 
look more tired, that's why. Like a 
beer? 


“Veal 


an ale, Tm dying 
ice-cold.” 
bring home 
"No. 1 didn't even bring home a beer. 
I didn't even bring any groceries. Th 
маза fire at work, that’s the reason 
¢2 Well, that's going 10 do great 
chicken 
from you, Kev. Why didn't you stop in 
another market or. better yet, phone me 
so 1 could shop somewhere near herc? 
1 would've. even though we don't get the 
discount like at your C & L. 

one threw a Molotov. cocktail 
hrough the window and Nelson For 
n nearly gor burned to death." She 
ked who Nelson was and when I told 
her, she said, "Was he seriously hurt?” 
ned to death, 

burned 10 
al Û phoned said he has 
second d-degree burns on about 
fifty percent of hi: 
still critical and probably lucky to be 
alive.” 

"Which is worse. second or third?” 

"I don't know I don't even know if 
first is worse or better than second. All 1 
know is that fifty percent body burns is 
very bad, very critical.” 

“You should've phoned 


“A 
for supper. 1 was counting on a 


€, Kev. You 


phoned the hospital: 1 admit that’s 
more important, but you should've also 
phoned me. Now we have по lood for 
supper except eges. ‘less you want to go 
and walk the t to the 


15 that the closest?” 


“And the only one. It's seven o'clock 
and thats it in t a squ; 
around here that stays open. 1 


they're worried about robberies and such. 
but some enterprising chain should open 
a store nearer the project, stick an armed 
guard in it and stay open till nine or ten 
at night and make а fortune. You ought 
to suggest it to CRL” 

The phone rang a few minutes before 


the time we normally sit down for sup 
per. "Who is it?” | said, angry, as if 
everyone ¢ zone should know 
most people have supper 
round this hour. but the man said, 
"Wimer, Kevin Wimer, you're in charge 
of the C & L produce line at Bainbridge, 
correct. 
“Sort of assistant in charge. Finer 


man’s head. 
perman, that's 


ight. Well, there 
was a fire іп your store today, caused by 
a particular labor trouble reason Ill dis 
close this very minute, if you're not in а 
rush. There's a movement going on for 
better wages and working conditions by 
the ras, black and loganberry pickers o 
this nation. And your food chain has 
continued to sell these products. even 
though we've expressly requested it to 
boycott all the growers of these products 
till they've fallen in line with the few 
smaller growers who've raised pickers’ 
wages to the l minimum and 
improved the pickers’ living and work- 
ing conditions while they're on the job 
Were you aware your store was fire 
bombed today?" 

“Yes. And опе of the clerks got fifty 
percent of his body burned, both second 
and third degree. 

“I heard, And it's terrible. But if its 
only five percent second and forty-five 
percent third, it wouldn't be thar bad. 
am I righ 
You are il second. 

it could be 
around. 

"Fm ver 


nation 


third, 
other w 


worse 
the 


bu 


sorry about this clerk. but 


if I related to vou some of the living 


and wor 
and their 


ing conditions these pickers 
families must endure, you'd 


think they'd be bener off dead than 
al 

“The pickers can ys get oth 
jobs. can't they? 1 meam, theres no 


Government law saying they c 
"Are voi Mr. Wimer, 1 
mean а good onc? Then you, of course, 


a un 


know you can't be fired from y 
present position without an exceptionally 
good cause, correct? And if you'y 


complaints that can't be settled by you 
(continued on page 178) 


he had come a long way for the final hit—the suicide mission that would tear whitey apart 


clon BY THOMAS LIVINGSTON wnes тик arsrrearor in / he usually slept with her, 

inst her open mouth. When he awoke, he would have a faint taste of solvent on the tip ol his tongue, а 
slight scent ol oil in his es. The taste and the scent would stay with him until the third sip of his morning 
coffee, 

But this morning, because he was in Paris, where things weren't tight, because he'd taken a sleeping pill 
before retiring, he awoke without her ау perfectly still, keeping his eyes closed for ten seconds, until 
his senses were functioning in the precise manner he desired them to function. Then his left arm shot into 
the air, flipping sheet and blanket from his body, and he sprang lightly to the floor. Two steps took him 
to the side of the wardrobe, which stood almost flush against the wall. He cocked his head, peered into the 
shadows between wardrobe and wall. 

She was there, sitting in her holster, the т ic disk on the back of the holster sticking to the magnetic 
disk whose three razor-sharp prongs were lodged in the wardrobe's wooden back. (continued on page 160) 


“What І asked you 
was how you 
liked my asp, silly.” 


the pious matchmaker 


THERE LIVED IN FLORENCE a lady of high 
estate who valued her beauty as greatly 
as her noble blood. Thus, she surprised 
no one in despising her aging husband, 
whose immense wealth did not compen- 
sate her for his extreme vulgarity and 
waning vigor. Promise of some solace 
appeared one day in the form of a young 
man who, though penniless, was appro- 
priately endowed with lusty manhood 
and refinement of manner. 

The young man had come to the city 
to see an old friend of his family, a 
monk of the Dominican order who was a 
famous scholar of the Holy Scriptures 
па а man of great piety and justice. 
The lady noticed that the young man 
visited the monk almost daily and 
around this she built her cunning plan. 

On the first day of Lent, she went to 
the monk and asked him to hear her 
confession. Sighing deeply and affecting 
tears, she procecded to tell the monk of 
her daily thoughts and deeds, revealing 
little that was not praiseworthy and 
nothing that might betray her most sin- 
ful intentions. The monk asked her 
whether she had observed the fast, faith- 
fully attended Mass and generously. con- 
tributed alms; and in none of these 
could she bc ted. Yet she continued 
to sigh and still the tears flowed. 

“Му lady," the monk said, “in all that 
ju have told me, there has been noth- 
ng to causc this decp cmotion. What із 
it that still oppresses your heart?” 

Composing herself, she responded: 
"Sir, you have a young friend—at least, I 
asume he is your friend, since I have 
often seen the two of you together. On 
his account, my acquaintances are begi 
ning to gossip about me, They are much 
annoyed by his irrational behavior to- 
ward me. These are the kinds of letters 
he has tossed onto my balcony in the 
large house beyond the market place. 


With that, she showed the monk three 
letters she had, in fact, written. herself, 
1 adde "See, sir; what does this 


disgraceful scoundrel take me for? You 
must talk 1 him and, for God's sake, 
stop him writing such things, if you don't 
want to get into difficulties yourself." 
When she had left, the monk sent for 
the young man at once and berated him. 
"You shall be cursed! What is to be 
come of you? Гей me where you have 
learned such things. God will surely pun- 
ish you belore you can sink lowe 
The young man, who had heard of the 
lady but knew nothing of her interest in 
him, protested vehemently against the 
accusations. “I only hope,” replied the 
man of God, "that you are not com 
pounding your sins by suggesting that E 
am lying to you. Can you deny that you 
threw these letters, filled with words of 
lust and license, onto the balcony of the 
large house beyond the market place? 
The exactness of the monk's accusa- 


tion struck a chord in the young man's 
mind. Пе made no further effort to 
defend himself, pausing only to beg for- 
giveness before rushing off to the large 
house beyond the market place, where he 
spicd the lovely lady sitting on her bal- 
cony. She stared down at him, her cyes 
full uf luve. Пе returned her gaze with 
like fervor. Remembering what she had 
accused him of, he hastily wrote a letter, 
ting in every word her passion for 
him, and tossed it up to her balcony. 

In the course of the next seven days, 
the lady purchased rings, precious stones 
and jewelry and a finely sewn purse, into 
which she put some money. She took 
everything to her father-confessor at the 
Dominican monastery and told him: 
"Look, sir. You were, no doubt, of the 
opinion that you had taken care of my 
matter in such a way that I would no 
longer be troubled by your friend in so 
lamentable a fashion. But look at these 
does he really believe that I have no 
precious stones and rings of my own that 
suit me much better than these? My hus- 
band does not neglect me when it comes 
to jewelry. In addition, the young idiot 
has the effrontery to throw а purse of 
gold coins through my window. Does he 
think I am povertystricken? Sir, please 
save me further pain and give back these 
no-doubt ill-gotten gains of his. 

Again, the monk called his friend to 
him. "You have always been penniless; 
the monk said, “апа 1 cm only believe 
that you have come by this wealth through 
gambling or theft. Take back this bounty 
of sin. The lady will have none of it.” 

The young man again feigned re- 
morse, took the money and jewels with 
bowed head and went off to buy himself 
a horse and fine clothes, presenting an 


ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD HOLLAND 


from a German story of the 15th Century 


Ribald Classic 


aspect for his fast- 
ng hopes of happiness with the 
generous lady 

Her own hopes were spiced with the 
gentle but persistent torments of bodily 
yearning. It was with great difficulty that 
she waited out another seven days before 

i monastery a third time. In 
apparent pain, she addressed the monk: 
"Hear this sir, and you will judgc if I 
have cause for grief; I am fast losing my 
senses over this matter. What cruel pe 
son could have told the man that my 
husband rode out of town early yester- 
day on a journey of many weeks? Who 
could have betrayed the fact that there is 
a secet garden hidden behind my 
house? I cam only wonder with increas 
ing astonishment that somcone opened 
the door at the garden's corner, so that 
that frightful man was able to creep іп 
at midnight. And who let him know that 
he must cross a little stream and then 
turn left until he reaches a lime tree with 
spreading branches? What is there more 
to say? He dimbed up this tree and 
aawled onto a branch that reaches over 
to my window, so that the twigs of th 
branch blossom in my bedroom in sum- 
mer. Along this branch he came to reach 
my bed. Luckily, I had my wits about 
me and was able to scream before he 
could attack me. He disappeared just as 
my servants and dogs arrived on the scene 
to help mc. God save me frum another 
such night. Ihe villain cannot deny a 
single detail of what 1 have said." 

In the Lord's name,” said the monk, 
"Y shall try again with this most head. 
strong young man.” 

When the gallant came once more to 
the monastery, the monk was beside him 
self with rage. 

“sir,” said the young man gently, “do 
not let your anger get the better of you. 
It seems I have been slandered. What is 
it that T could possibly have done? 

Amazed that the young man could so 
coolly deny knowledge of his crime, the 
monk wasted no further time and те 
counted in minutest detail what the lady 
had told him. The youth lowered his 
eyes in humble contrition and said: “1 
promise you by all that is holy that I 
shall not commit so great a sin a second 
time.” 

The monk was satisfi was the 
young man. He hurried again to the 
lady's house and examined by daylight 
the route he must take, the garden, the 
door, the stream and the branch th; 
sprouted beautiful blossoms in the lady's 
bedioom in summer. At midnight, he 
brought her the flower of his love, though 
it was scarcely spring. Their pleasures 
were many that night. Forgotten was thc 
vulgar husband, but the lovers spoke with 
greatest joy of that good and godly man, 
their pious matchmaker. 

—Retold by Jack Altman 459 


ARBITRATOR (continued from page 157) 


= 
o 
ш In that shadowed space, her black buit 
reflected no light. 
#*™ Не returned to the bed, flopped back 
щ down upon it, his arms outstretched. 
yj Then. slowly, he turned his head to read 
the time, admiring the conwast of his 
A ^ black skin against the white sheet before 
he admired the contrast of his gold watch 
nst his black skin. It was 10:30. Once, 
he had wished his arm to be whiter Шап 
the sheet, but he had wished that before 
he had met The Chief, before he'd be- 
come The Arbitrator 

He found the room a trifle cool, un- 
like the room in New York in which 
he'd stifled for a week before flying to 
Rome, where, after assuring himself he 
was not being followed. he'd met his 
contact, who had rebriefed him on the 
ел Milan, a city less watched by the 
n Rome. to board the Simplon 
Orient Express for P: 

He left the bed nd put on a 
white terrydoth robe, thinking it ironic 
that he was to make his last hit in Paris, 
he liked, when, lying on the bed 
that airless room on Fast Tenth 
Street, he'd been positive that The Chief 
would confirm the plan to make the hi 
in New York, a city he hated. 

He'd waited a week for a phone call 
that never came. Instead, there'd been а 
knock at his door: The Chief. in person 

“You leavin’ tonight fo* Rome, Don't 
check out heah We роп зоот 
in youh name till afta de hit been made. 
е dis locker key at de airport. Dere's 
case packed and ready. Use youh 
an passport fo" Italian customs. 
You be given a Togolese one fo’ France. 
Youh contact gonna be in de little calé 
to de left of de Trevi Fountain between 
two and louh tomorrow altanoon." 

He'd taken the envelope with the tick- 
et and the money The Chief had held 
out, silently gone to the coset to get a 
shirt. 

‘The Chief 
ig him dress. “No questions? 
Chief had finally asked. 

"The Arbitrator had sl 

"The Chief had smiled. "I gonna miss 
you. You my man. We has to move 
everythin’ up by two days. Gallup Poll 
come out show he got de nomination in 
de bag. Secret Service gonna drop a 
covuh on him from de minute he come 
back. Infiltrator got word 10 us last 
night. De Senator, he gonna have his last. 
fling wid only two bodyguards in Paris. 
From den on, dat honkic, he gonna be 
covuhed like he was already de Pre 
dent. France is ouh place. You can move 
"bout dere like you was a honkie.” 

The Arbitrator had nodded. They'd 
shaken hands. He'd picked up his brief- 
case and left the hotel on East Tenth 
Street. 

The thought of that hotel made The 

160 Arbitrator tighten the belt of his robe 


ep à 


sat on the bed, watch- 
The 


экс. 


with a jerk. The corridors had smelled of 
piss and spilled booze; his room had 
smelled of dust and cooking oil and pot. 
The air conditioner hadn't worked, the 
windows didn't open and the red needle 
of the thermometer hadn't dropped be- 
low 95 during his entire stay. He hadn't 
even been able to finish his essay оп 
revolutionary assassins for Black Fist be- 
cause his hand had begun to sweat so 
much every time he'd closed it to hold 
the pen that he'd smudged ink all over 
the paper. And because he was The 
Arbitrator, a professional, he had not 
been able to leave the room until The 
Chief had contacted him. No, not quite 
true. He'd left it once to get a paper, 
when the quarter had jammed in the pay 
radio, and he'd been unable to get the 
news of what the paratroopers were 
doing uptown. He'd called the desk and 
told them to hold any calls, he'd be back 
in seven minutes, and then he'd left his 
room and suode quickly down the corri- 
dor to the elevator. Hed had to wait five 
minutes When the door had opened, 
he'd stepped into the cage to lind а 
black hippie who'd carried a 
sketchbook under his left arm and h 
had his right апи around the should 
of a litle Whitey dropout, a little Miss 
Whitey Professional Spade Lover. 

The Arbitrator, pushing the button м, 
had rested the back of his head against 
the wall of the cage, fixing black hipp 
d stare. 


ick hippie had given him a “Loo! 
at-me-man -1-got-me-a-Whitey “chick 
wink 
The Arbitrator had not blinked. Hed 


just continued staring. 

Black hippie had shuffled his feet, 

Black hippie had dropped his arm 
from the white chick’s shoulders. 
һе Arbitrator had continued to stare. 

Black hippie had nervoitly turned his 
eyes to the foor indicator of the cle 
tors control panel, But the light was 
out of order. 

When, at the ground floor, the ele 
tor door had opened, The Arbitrator 1 
not moved. Black hippie had waited an 
instant, then put his hand on the small 
of the white chick's back and propelled 
her toward the door. The Arbitrator had 
waited until her left foot had just 
cleared the two-inch step between cleva- 
tor and lobby before moving, His wide, 
heavy shoulders had caught her perfect- 
ly smashing her against the doorframe 
as he exited. He had whirled quickly. his 
powerful torso blocking the door. His 
long index finger had risen and fallen in 
a measured beat an inch from the black 
hippie's nose. "You keep making that 
scene, you gonna smell like sour milk, 
boy.” he'd snarled. 

But he hadn't left his room again. 
He'd been afraid he'd bust someone up, 


and he was too valuable to TAR to get 
into a stupid fight, to get into any fight, 
for that matter, 

The belt of his robe tied, The Arbitra- 
tor went to the phone. For this last job, 
ТАҚ, Inc, was sending him first-class, 
He was staying at the Georges М. 

“Give me coffee and a Herald Trib- 
une,” he said in English. "And 1 wants 
my coffee black! 

Only after he'd hung up did he realize 
that the French probably wouldn't dig 
that dig. But they'd dug it in Cleveland, 
He'd gotten a tiny female gasp, followed 
by dead silence. 

“I wants my coffee.” he repeated with 
а smile, The hardest thing for him to 
learn had been to use the third-person 
verb with the first-person pronoun, the 
fustpermon verb with the third-person 
pronoun, After all that nice Stanford 
education, he'd talked like the White 
Knight himself. But, as The Chief had 
said when hed recruited him, “We 
might use you, man. But if you gonna 
think black, you gonna talk black.” 

‘The bellboy who brought his breakfast 
мі gray hair, tired eyes He stood inside 
the door, waiting to be told where to put 
the tr 
You put it on the table, boy. 
But the Frenchman only looked at 


! La table!" The Arbitra- 
tor shouted. He walked to the wardrobe, 
took а fivefranc piece from ше panis 
ped it at the bell. 
dropped it. The 


boy. who juggled 
Arbitrator grinned as the white man 
went down on his hands and knees to 
retrieve it from under the bed. 

You look good down there, Whitey,” 
‘The Arbitrator said. 

The bellboy nodded, bowed, shut the 
door behind hin 

He propped the bolster against the 
headboard; sat on the bed; brought. the 
breakfast tray over onto his lap. As 
he sipped his coffee, he scanned the first 
page of the Trib, His man was there. 
Not his picture, but his name: 


SENATOR THOMAS STOPS IN PARIS ON 
WAY BACK FROM INTERNATIONAL. 
CONFERENCE IN BONN 

Senator George Thomas (R., New 
York) arrived here last night for 
two-day working vacation on his way 
back to Washington via New York 
from the Conference on Alrican 
Problems in Bonn. Senator Thomas, 
considered by most political experts 
as certain to gain his party's nomi- 
nation for President at its con- 
vention next month, is expected to 
confer with President Mendés-France 
about ways to improve Franco- 
American economic cooperation, 
which has ameliorated slowly but 

(continued on. page 191) 


highflying apparel and appurtenances for the man on the move 


Two urbane escape artists make a well-tailored getaway sporting (front): wrinkle-resistant knit jacket, by Clubman, $70, Dacron, rayon 
and Orlon slacks, by Coachman, $11, and sunglasses, by Renauld, $10; (back): silk and wool suit, $160, cotton shirt, $18.50, silk Не, $12.50, 
end printed silk scarf, $10, all by Bill Blass for PBM. They tote a zebraskin two-suiter, $69B, and a matching overnighter, $598, both from 
Hunting World. Other gear, counterclockwise from nine: Vectra fiber one-suiter, $80, and matching overnighter, $54, both from Aber. 
crombie & Fitch; “Тһе Smasher” aluminum tennis racket, by Spalding, $45; matched set of suede luggage that includes: “Male Bag," $30, 
one-suiter, $75, and four-sviter, $125, all by Harrisan Leather Gaods. Behind the foursviter, a Permanite carry-an, by American 
Tourister, $30. Near our leading man’s leg is a pigskin carry-on, from Gucci, $130, and а cowhide golf bag, from Brunswick-MacGregor, $200. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL PAREE 


Bottom row, left to right: Portoble Executive Telephone housed in leather case features self-contained antenno, quick-recharging power pack 
and o discreet light ond buzzer to signal incoming calls, by Portatronic Systems, $2260, or by lease. Port-A-Play language course includes 
battery-powered ployer, eight records and carrying case, from Hammacher Schlemmer, 512.95. Pipe smaker’s Nougchyde travel case, $5, 


contains pipe tool, $3, pipe knife, $3, and three hand-cut Celius pipes, $35 each, all from Pipe and Pauch. Ponyskin attaché case with leather 


lining, from Dinoffer, $150. Model 550 World-Wide cordless shaver comes with a compact recharging stond that adapts to domestic and 
foreign current, by Remington, $30. Battery-powered Foot-Brator massage unit, from Hammacher Schlemmer, $7.50, including batteries and 
cose. Pocket Memo dictating machine operates on minicasselles, by Norelca, $85. Steom/Press pants creaser, by Westinghouse, $19.95 


Aluminum camera case with individual shackproaf camportments, by Holliburtan, $74.95. Nordmende Glabetraveler 111 15-band portable 
radio, from Sterling Hi-Fidelily, $189.95. Fielding's Trove! Guide fo Europe, $7.95, and Fielding’s Guide fo the Caribbean, $7.50, bath by 
Fielding Publications. Top raw, left to right: Aluminum cube trunk contains a luxuriously equipped bar, fram Bloomingdale's, $85 (liquor not 
included). Battery-powered cassette tape recorder, by Panasonic, $125. Pigskin duffel bag with "Gucci Stripe,” from Gucci, $105. Nine 
Flags men's toiletries set, by Colton, $25. Radiolarm in morocco cose, from Mork Cross, $50. Electra 220 portable electric typewriter with 
carrying case, by SCM, $229, is atop a Skymate Jumba Foursame suitcase of natural rawhide, by Hortmann Luggage, $250. The zebraski 

luggage carried by aur peripatetic get-out-af-townsmen on the opening page houses two comely companions who obviously travel well. 


PLAYBOY 


Ў ELE-DEPRECATING BERNARD MERSEN- 
ILER, NEBULOUS MAN ABOUT TOWN, 
RECEINES A FRANTIC CALL FOR HELP 

10 THE МЕНТ... - 


164 


WE CA) HAVE SUCH A GOOD Z// LYDIA! 
RELATIONSHIP ABOVE AND Ж. PONT- 
BEYOND YOUR NEEDS, 

BERNARD -WHY [D VOU 


Кер WITH GUILT, BERNARD DASHES OUT INTO 
THE: 2 
TEE 67171 
Qe UMA S» E ЕЕ YOURSELF! 
КОЛЛ, LHATE YOu! 
I HATE 


NOTHING SERIOUS- 
IV OUST EEEN 


ГЕТА 
BAR? y DIDNT SHOW. T TOLD 
%0 I NEEDED «OU 


165 


IT 2 20р LYDA,L THUK WE V PERNARIDT 
ra MORIN... SUGAR... < HAVE TO HAVE А uod 2 im 
боор мент Y ФООР ; г BUT 
n RIGHT v4 BAR CLOSED 
WERE GOIN. ( HoURe А607 


PLAYBOY 


Үй) LET Cita IN Fl, Г АМО 1 PARED 
EA LOO PV MÀ O THC YOU 


TIS 
As you have told me 
many times my selfishness 
Eets in the way of my cb- 
jectivity. І now realize it 
15 T who set up all the situ- 
ations that we have our fights / 
М over. You are too good for ne, || 
| Lydia, and you have my promise 
that I will never bother you 


2 7 WHAT 20 You 
ee, l Tilik OF Те 
LETER ETS A Z3 


Ae 


166 


ІМ 50 GLAD 400 CALLED, BERNARD. 

NORM IS ALWAYS BROKE. КОЕМ, | JN 
157. (T SWEET OF BERNARD fo 
TAKE US O DVIER 4 


ШЕЕ einer 
ANÎ AND Т. NOL “А 
mo 


| 


UT I HATE THE 
ТАН T EY 
DISGUST MET 
I HAVE CON- 

TEMPT FOR Y 


| s&s 
YOU LOVE, FER- ‚ | ГЕР, vt DARLO- LXX. WILL 
КАК THATS WHY | YOU TAKE CARE OF HER BERNARD. 
I CAN NEIER GO | EXHAUST 
O ФЕР WH ж. ME. 
«QU / \ ocd 
p Б 

[> ( 
24 


PLAYBOY 


168 


at 


S 


you will become my wifel 


5 | 


eeel floated home lov- 


forgiving, despising my- 
self for being so demand- 


Accept me as your life's partner, 
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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


don't have chance to wipe out the 
ignorance that’s responsible for a lot of 
prejudice. 

PLAYBOY: In line with that thought, a 
recent poll indicated that most white 
people believe there's no real difference 
in the way they grow up and the way 
blacks grow up—and conclude that 
blacks themselves are totally responsible 
for all their social and economic prob 
lems. Do you think that if whites had 


PLAYBOY 


more information about actual ghetto 
conditions, racial harmony would im- 
prove? 


COSBY: It couldn't do any harm, but 1 
find it hard to believe that white people 
don't know what life is like for the 
average American black. If a white guy 
sat down and objectively thought about 
the situation for a minute, how could he 
possibly think that blacks are growing 
up the same way he grew up? Did his 
mother have to pay more than $200 for 
а couch that costs white people $125? A 
guy in the slums buys a car for $150 
has to pay $400 а year insurance on it. 
The ghetto supermarkets sell food you 
can't find anywhere else; did you ever 
eat green meat and green bread? How 
many winters have white people spent 
with rats scurrying around their apart- 
ments at night, with windows boarded 
up but пог keeping out the cold, and 
with no hear? Try to get a gheno slum- 
lord to fix np an apartment and you'll 
know what frustration and bitterness is. 
PLAYBOY: Haven't a number of city gov- 
crnments begun cracking down on sl 
lords? 
COSBY: Yes, but it doesn’t do any good. 
It’s fine to have a law on the books, bu 
what good is it if а slumlord can get 
around it? If he can pay a city official 
$150 or $500 a year о keep hi: 
shut when inspection time comes 
the law is worth noi And 
landlord is prosecuted, he'll hand money 
under the table to someone higher up 
than the city inspector, Or m 
won't even bother to bribe anyone; 
all, what difference will it make whether 
he spends 5200 bribing a cat or paying 
that amount in thc form of a fine? Herc, 
again, black people wind up powerless, 
because they have no capital. 
PLAYBOY: Then you advocate black capi 
talism? 
COSBY: Thats right. 1 think whites 
should begin to understand how рег 
sonally destructive poverty is. Drive 
through Harlem sometime; if a cat's got 
no bread, he's just not going to look 
good, He'll Took bad enough not having 
a job and having no money coming in; 
but if he comes out of a one-room apart- 
ment with three or four brothers, and his 
father has no job, how can he possibly 
look good? And when you're poor, no- 
170 body wants to have anything to do with 


mouth 
round, 


(continued from page 88) 


you, This used to happen to me, even 
among black people. Before I became 


“somebody,” I had my problems getting 
dates with girls. I had black girls reject 


me because I had only a glen-plaid suit 
and striped shirt and striped tie to wear 
оп a date; Шаг all I owned in the 
way of dressup clothing. That was all I 
could afford. There's a whole string of 
chicks in Philadelphia who are bread- 
conscious and turned me loose because I 
was hoping to become a schoolteacher, 
which would have given them a cat who 
was making $130 a weck—if he made it 
through college. Chicks would put that 
down: "Schooltcacher? Nope, you're not 
in my bracket.” There's probably girls 
today think, "Gec, I could have had 
him and I let him go. f sold Bill Cosby 
short at $12, and now he's 5192 a share. 
Damn!” The point is: The poorer you 
are, the uglier you are. And that poverty 
creeps into every part of black people's 
lives: poor education, poor housing, poor 
sanitation, poor medical care and, as a 
result of all these, poor jobs. When socie- 
ty keeps on sho 
ested in property 
rights. the result is looting a 
PLAYBOY: Do you think, 
enforcement officials have alleged, 
looting and rioting are ever planned, 
the same way that a civil rights march is 
planned, with the intention of forcing 
whites into remedi 
COSBY: Looting and rioting are sponta 
neous things that happen with a crowd. 
They're not planned, coordinated actions, 
It all boils down to the fact thar whe 
the opportunity comes to get a free pai 
of panis or a television set. people go 
along with the crowd. If you were walk- 
ing down a street and saw people run- 
ning in and out of stores, getting away 
with things vou never had— getting aw 
clean, too—why nof go in there and get 
that bicycle or sofa yourself? As far as 
rioting is concerned, let me put it to you 
this way: If a guy is walking along and 
all of a sudden a crowd of people comes 
up and they're shouting, the first thing 
he'll want to know is what they're yell- 
ing about—righ? Then he hears what 
they're yelling about; maybe а cop shot 
an unarmed black kid or police turned 
off fire hydrants black kids were using to 
beat 90-дергее heat in the gheuo. Thi 
like that have actually caused riots. The 
man may get pulled inio that mob and 
listen to their statements and he may 
well join them, Now, a mob is 
of animals, man, and things like sniping 
and arson are liable to happen when a 
bunch of people, who are justifiably bit- 
ter and frustrated, are set off by an 
incident that finally exhausts all of their 
patience. But in riots where there's snip- 
ing going on, how come the cats who 
wind up getting killed are all unarmed 
black bystanders? 


concessions? 


PLAYBOY: Do you think looting and riot- 
ing will stop as soon as black people 
acquire a fair share of America’s wealth? 
COSBY: Absolutely. You know, when doc- 
tors have to treat a wound, they don't 
heal it by putting bacteria on it or by 
pplying dirty bandages to it. The pow 
cts in this country know how to heal the 
race situation and thev also know that, 
by doing so, they'd be solving the prob- 
lems of our cities. When white people 
move ош of the city, they're moving to 
better homes, better schools. Cities have 
no attractions to make people change 
their minds and move back. And even if 
the people do move back, where do they 
ng? In a lower-class ghetto 
arca or next to one. So let's clean up the 
city's sores. And to clean them up, we 
need ro make jobs available 10 the people 
who live there, who suffer and die 
there, who, like the middle-class whites 
who leave, also want to get out and live 
іп beuer surroundings. If it means that 
we build factories in  ghettos—forget 
smog and air pollution and all that 
other crap for the moment—then that's 
what we'll have to do. We'll have to build 
more hospitals and schools to improve the 
quality of gheuo life. Thats the only way 
the city will he able to offer both its 
blacks and its whites che same things that 
are ilable in the suburbs; that's the 
only way people will stop leaving the city. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think urban-renewal 
programs can help? 

COSRY- Urban renewal usually means 
that buildings are torn down, people are 
moved to another area and then, for 
years, all you have are empty lots, "That's 
a fact. And black people ask themselves 
Ше sime questions whites would ask in 
the situation: Where are the homes we 
were promised? Why did you dhise us 
out of there in the first place? How can 
any neighborhood become stable with 
this kind of thing going on? 

PLAYBOY: But some new public housing 
does get built in ghettos. Aren't these 
suitable places to live? 

cossy: Well, a project is a little better 
Шап that apartment you've lived 
where the landlord won't fix апу 
But you can build Jow-rent housing with- 
out having it look and feel like a steel 
and-brick concentration camp. You can 
put more elevators in and make sure the 
elevators work, so that little kids playing 
in the street who have to go to the 
jobn don't have to wait ten minutes for 
an elevator and wind up urinating in 
the lobbies, 

PLAYBOY: As you know, there are millions 
of whites who can't understand why a 
jority of black neighborhoods аге so 
run-down and littered. 

cosay: Look, take a simple thing like 


once а one 
house—because rents are high 
and because the jobs available to ghetto 


c cud 
a $ x 
y "m 
JD o E \ № % "n 
» | {А | 
СУФ) 5" ) 


e luck of the Scotch. 


So smooth-world’ best selling Scotch 


PLAYBOY 


172 


blacks don't pay well. You're going to 
get an awful Jot of trash from this house, 
because all these people are living there. 
Each family goes out, does its shopping 
and contributes its share of garbage, so 
you'd expect there'd be at least twice as 
much collection as there was before. But 
there's usually half as much garbage 
collection and, at that, those eight fam 
lics have it good, compared with most of 
the people who live in black neighbor- 
hoods. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think these conditions 
can be corrected through the poverty 
program? 

COSBY: They could be, but they won't; I 
don't think that the poverty program can 
mean much when 70 percent of its bread 
goes into the pockets of the people who 


get paid to give it away. And now tha 
poverty program funds are under Tocil 
super it’s become just another 


ical patronage. That's almost. 


PLAYBOY: How do you think Federal 


funds should be used to help clean up 
nd eventually eliminate the ghettos? 

cosay: The first thing we should do is 
study the findings and recommendations 
of the Kerner Commission. I don't think 
y recent Government study has been 
more valid—or more ignored by the 
Government—than Шат report. "The fact 
is that if certain buildings went up in 
the ghetto, they would supply jobs for 
thousands of black men. The second 
move also has to do with jobs; I think 
we should discontinue the summer work 
ms for kids and concentrate on 


progi 
mi 
PLAYBOY: Why? 
соѕвү: White legislators think that as 
long as a kid's energy is spent and his 
time taken up, he'll be too tired to throw 
bomb. But that’s bullshit, because a 
kid's got more energy than а grownup. 
And I know, man. I used to play basket- 
ball from nine in the morning until the 
sun went down. But the truth of the 
matter is that no parent can command a 


"Wow! Has anyone ever told you you're 
extremely articulate! 


Kid's respect if the parent docsn't h 
strong game going Гог himsel{—if the 
father doesn't have a job, The kid will 
hear his mother chewing the old man 
out because he’s not working, Or he'll 
them both moaning and groaning 
because there's no money coming in. 
Listen, summertime should be when 
a kid can go out and hit that ball and 
swim and go hiking. Summertime is no 
books, no sitting in a classroom, and the 
biggest worry for parents is that their kid 
doesn’t knock up somebody's daughter. I 
see summer as a time to have a ball, not 
ason to burn off energy so that you 
won't burn up the city. If the kid's 
working and the old man isn’t, he’s not 
the father, man; he's just an older guy 
who сап beat you up. He cin beat you up 
because he's bigger and stronger, but he 
certainly isn't anybody you can use as an 
example of what you want to be when 

you grow up. 
So I believe all the job emphasis 
should be directed toward industrial cor- 
prog 


a 


to fathers who are out in the streets. If 
you take care of the father, then the kid 
has somebody to look up to. Black men 


don’t need those dumb civic programs 
that send entertainers to perform in the 
ghetto every summer. Maybe they expect 
the cat in the audience to say to himself, 
“I enjoyed that show so much I'm not 
going to be militant anymore. Аз а mat- 
ter ol fact. that was such a gnod program 
that I don't care if I'm poor and can't 
get a job for the rest of my life. I'm 
onna come early and get a better seat for 
next years show. That is, if I don't 
starve to death between now and then.” 
PLAYBOY: Do you think « guaranteed an 
nual income might be one answer to the 
poverty problem? 

совву: I'm in favor of a guaranteed job; 


bread or a book of stamps. Men want to 
work and they want to be paid decent 
salaries. When I look at myself as а 
young man who can retire in a few years 


nd receive an income from my invest- 
ments, I still know that I could no more 
sit on my ass and let that check come in 
than I could lie paralyzed in bed for the 
rest of my life. I've got to do something 
with my hands, my fect and my brain 
To me, it won't make any difference if 
it’s а job as a parttime schooltes 
paying $30 a week—hecause I'll 
have that big dividend check coming in 
every week. But ГИ be working. Jobs are 
at the black man wants. But if Im 
hing down hospital wards, or sweep 
ing floors in a restaurant, and if my pay 
check at the end of the month is smaller 
than a relict check, why work? When а 
guy on wellarc gets a job, he no longer 
gets welfare: would you work to lose 
money? We could set up better plins 


out of the 


country 
but... 


you can’t take the 
“country” out of Salem 


Try the menthol taste that's country soft, country 
fresh. Salem gently air-softens every puff. 


Take a puff...it is springtime! 


PLAYBOY 


174 


“Му insomnia got me started. I figured as long as I was 
lying there in bed awake all night anyway... 7 


ee т 


that would cost a lot less and be more 
helpful to this country if we really 
med to, 

PLAYBOY: Have you any in mind? 

cossy: Sure. Men on relief should be 
taught skilled jobs. That's only half of it, 
though, because it isn't enough just to 
teach skills. We must also make sure 
there are jobs available to use the skills. 
And all of us also have to be grown-up 
enough and intelligent enough to realize 
that all people are not the grooviest i 
the world and that even after you teach 
1 guy а skill, he may not be able to hold 
а job or really want it. We haye our con 
men and our criminals. No matter how 
cool your society is, you'll still have 
people who'll kill and rape and steal, 
regardless of color. 

PLAYBOY: While we're still on the subject 
Perhaps for the first time in 
eness of skin color is 
vely in the “black is 
cautiful” concept. What does that phrase 
represent to you? 
соѕвү: With me, it 
k is beau 


isn't a matter of 
ul as much as it is that 
beautiful which is 
what black men are taught, We necd a 
хе ос to throw off all that bullshit 
that's been laid on us for the past 300 
year this is a groovy way to teach 
our kids to be proud of what they are. 
We black people have our own culture, 
which has always been laughed at be- 
cause it's different from the white man's. 
1 remêmba when I was 

school at Christmastime, a 
allowed to bring records in. 1 never 
owned any, but a couple of colored girls 
brought Mahalia Jackson's version of Si- 
lent Night, while the white kids brought 
things like the Mormon ‘Tabernacle 
Choir singing Hallelujah and Bing Cros- 
hys White Christmas, Well, the black 
weatment of a Christmas carol was some- 
thing the white kids snickered at, be- 
cause of their own ignor and, at the 
sime time, we were embarrassed because 


it wasn't white. Mahalia just didn't 
sound like the Mormon T: 
Choir, and Clara Ward didn’: sound like 


Bing Crosby. But this no longer h: 
pens, because of the black-is-h 
education, because of the fact that our 
culture, our music is something to be 
proud of. We're into a different style. a 
different way of doing things, and we're 
not going to let anybody laugh at it just 
because his face is white. And we're not 
going to be ashamed of it. What wc are 
is beautiful —what we are is black. 
PLAYBOY: After centuries of being told 
they were inferior, have black people 
themselves had dilliculty in accepting thi 
new self pride? 

COSBY: It hasn't been easy to throw out 
all the brainwashing, but we're doing it. 
Let me give you a personal example: 
Black people from the South h: 
common accent; it's almost a foreign 
language. I can't speak it, but I unde 


stand it, because my 85-year-old grand- 
ather speaks it. Т remember hearing him 
use the word “jimmin” and I had to go 
up to my grandmother to find out what 


he ying. She told me he was saying 
“gentlemen.” That was black; it's the 
way my grandfather talks, the way my 
Aunt Min talks, because she was down 


South picking cotton while I was in 
Philadelphia picking up white middle. 
das values and feeling embarrassed 
about hearing people talk like that and 
wanting to send them to school to 
straighten them out. 1 now accept this as 
black, the same way 1 accept an Italian 
whose father from the old country h: 
a heavy accent, I accept it as black the 
same way chitlins and crab fingers and 
corn bread and collard greens and hush 
puppies and hog jaws and black-eyed 
peas and grits are black. This is what we 
were given to eat; this was our diet 
the South, and we've done some groovy 
things with it. Now even white people 
are talking about Uncle So-nd-So's spare- 
rib place. 
PLAYBOY: Why do you think black food 
nd black music have become so 
able in much of white society today? 
cossy; White people are trying to get a 
little soul—which has to do with sent 
ment nd guilt. 
Its like the hippies who go around 
dressed as if they're poor, although their 

ents live in big suburban homes. A 
lot of white people want soul and they 
think they can get it by eating the food, 
learning the dances, digging the mu: 
Many white chicks feel they'll get soul if 
they ball a black man they don't even 
care about, 

Do you think th 
ion for interracial sex? 
COSBY: 1 can’t really say. While soul is 
the attraction for the white person. I feel 
t the black goes to the white because 
of the white's status in this society; the 
black person is supposed to in some ж 
gain [rom making love to a white. And 
the white is giving up status to make 
love to a black. It's almost like a materi 
alistic thing now: If a 
a black guy, sh 
look what I'm giving up, look how 
going against society. Man, am I brav 
Now, I'm not talking about love, just 
balling. If he or she wants to have soul, 
like, go on ahead and ball, but that ain't. 
gonna make you soulful. I've been with 
white cats who've looked at black chicks 
І wouldn't be эсеп with anywhere and 
heard them say. “Man, she is fantastic. 
looking.” And, by the same token, I've 
seen white girls look at a black man and 
say, “That guys really beautiful.” But 
what they mean—and I'm talking about 
whites who have a desire to make love 
to а black—is that they dig that African 
or extra blackness that says this person 
is 100 percent black, To them, this blad 
ness represents soul. 


's a major 


PLAYBOY: Doesn't it represent the same 
thing to black people? 

COsBY: ОГ course nor. Ever since Ame 
was founded, we've been trying to 
overcome the dumb idea that skin color, 
of its own nature, determines the charac 
ter of the person who's inside it. After 
all that’s happened to the black man in 
this country, it would be even crazier for 
us to believe in racism than for whites 
to. Up until six years ago, black people 
because of their identification with white 
soc 
like Washington, D. C., in fact, there are 
many Negroes who still feel a great deal 
of resentment if a dark Negro comes to 
date a lightskinned girl. The parents of 
that girl want to keep breeding lighter. 
so they can finally get rid of that badge 
and walk free, But most black people 
е finally discovered they've been de- 
luding themselves. 

PLAYBOY: About what? 

соѕвү: Through the civil rights move- 
ment and through Martin Luther King, 
Jr. Amer ип was forced out into 
the open, so the world could see it. Black 
people found out that most whites just 
didn't want them to have a growing place 
in America’s future. Once we found that 
out, we turned to ourselves for help. as 
we had to. Its like when a cat leaves 
home to sce the world but gets robbed 
and can't find a job; the only place for 
him is back home. Well, we need to 
make a place for ourselves, a place where 
we can be received and accepted, and 
this is happening through black identi- 
fication—realizing that one із black, not 
white, and being proud of it. But many 
black people today go to extremes in 
their rejection of white power, white 
ism and white values. 

PLAYBOY: Which wh 
COSBY: The main white value—giced. 
Through greed, whites have been fooled 
into thinking that freedom for black 
people means they'll lose their jobs, their 
homes, even the clothes off their backs. 
ideas have been laid on the 
n to exploit his greed, and the 
se of greed, 


ty. didn't want to be black. In cities 


and everyil 


g else represented іп racist 
stereotyping. But this has all been the 
result of lics, and white people now have 
to listen to the truth: Freedom, for ату 
man, is a need like food and water. The 
black man needs his freedom and he is 
determined to get it—now. I white 
America chooses to withhold equality 
from the black man, the result is going 
to be disaster for this country. But if 
whites allow the black man the sime 
civil rights they themselves take for 
nted, then they're really in store for 
this country will turn into the 
coolest and groovicst society the world 
has ever se 


175 


176 


ROD McKUEN master of arts 


ONLY ONE MAN WE KNOW could claim truthfully that he's si- 
multaneously working on his first symphony, his fourth book 
of poems, an autobiography and a novel; that he has just 
finished the musical scores for several movies. including The 
Prime of Miss Jean Brodie and A Boy Named Charlie Brown; 
and that he is preparing the scrcenplay for Stanyan Street and 
Other Sorrows, а feature film based on his own writings. But 
Rod McKuen doesn’t bother to brag; he's too busy. The self- 
educated chansonnier acquired his Promethean work habits at 
the age of 11, when he started supporting his mother and 
brother as they drifted throughout the West. After a series of 


ing at 
acting in Hollywood, Mckuen went to New York to concen- 
trate on writing and performing his own songs. When RCA 
asked him the source of a ballad that his friend Glenn Ya 
brough had included 
a book he'd writen—thereby obligating himself to write the 
hook се then, he's become a one п cultural explosioi 
At last count, he had composed about 1000 songs and recorded 
about 10 albums. His schedule for 1969, in addition to morc 
movie scores and many concerts (onc of which was recorded last 
month at Carnegie Hall), includes a TV special on May tenth 
iother in November; and his own label, Stanyan Records, 
uc its first releases this fall, A solitary traveler for most 
б years, McKuen has mellowed to the point where he'd 
like to settle in California—with a wife—and spend his timc 
"just writing songs for Frank Sinatra, Pet Clark and myself” 
(Sinatra recently cut an LP of 14 McKuen songs). But so far, he 
hasn't found а woman who can accept his 16-hour worl 
or the increasing demands on his time from producers ii 
York and Hollywood. "I went so long without my telephone 
ringing" McKuen that now it’s difficult to say no." 


n an LP, McKuen lied that it was from 


ч 


WILLIAM WHITE, JR. compound interests 


rürpicrABLY, the 29-year-old president and board chairman 
of Great Western United Corporation, William White, Jr. 
bases his business philosophy on free-form managem 
giving opportunity and responsibility to young, creative people 
d letting them “do their own thing.” The formula obviously 
works: G. W. U. has grown into а $250.000.000 corporation, 
and Bill White has become a multimillionaire. He began late 
n 1964 by parlaying $100.000 of his own money (he's the 
fourth generation member of a Colorado banking family) into 
control of Colorado Milling & Elevator Company. an esta 
lished flour manufacturer. With the intention of building a 
multifaceted foods company, he subsequently took over Great 
Western Sugar, the largest U.S. bretsugar producer; 30 per- 
cent of the Gorton Corporation, a seafood pr 
percent of Shakey's, Inc, a large pizza-parlor franchising op- 
n. Merging these holdings into Great Western United in 
1968, White decided to diversify G. W. U. into a marketing 
amy. He sold his interest in Gorton, bought the rest ol 
Shakey's and acquired Emerald Christm: 
Californi: 
builds residential communities. Ground h: 
a chain of Great Western Steak Houses that he envis 
do for steaks what Shakey's did for pizza." The 
White's burgeoning empire is Denver, where he often шь 
nerves local businessmen by driving n a brightred 
Glassic Classic—an elegant fiberglass car modeled after the 
1939 Ford Phaeton (he keeps a Ferrari in the East). He also 
rains apartments in Aspen (he's an avid skier) and New 
York City and a summer home in East Hampton. Add to 
these a sizable art collection, and its easy to see why he 
thinks "bachelorhood is fun.” So is business: but heading 
a world-wide empire isn't his life's ambition, As White 
iving isn't nearly as much fun as getting there." 


u 


SHECKY GREENE 429 of clubs 


"LIKE MOST COMEDIANS, I'm à manicdepressive,” Shecky Greene 
admits. Happily, there is little room for depression in the 
torrent of comedic mania with which he inundates audiences 
— elaborate vignettes on everything from NASA to the Arab- 
Israeli conflict and devastating impressions of such unlikely 
luminaries as Sophie Tucker, Harry Belafonte and М; 
Ouspenskaya. In contrast with most of his fellow funnymen— 
who rely on written routines for their material —Shecky ad- 
libs and refines his improvisations on night-club stages in San 
Francisco, Miami and such intermediate points as Las Vegas, 
where he headlines 20 weeks a year at the Riviera. "Its 
like group therapy for me," he says in pr с 
action; but his television appearances on the Dean Martin 
and Johnny Carson shows, though well received, demonstrate 
that the camera is too impersonal and the time too short to 
threedimensionalize an act that usually г minutes and 


depends on his proven ability (о establish a close rapport with 


his audience. Born Sheldon Greenfield іп 1926 on Chicago's 
North Side, Shecky found that rapport even as a child enter- 
ning family and friends. After wartime service оп ап air- 
craft carrier, he returned home in 1916 and attended college 
and radio-broadcasting school, but finally won an amateur 
talent contest. He dropped out of school and graduated to 
‘esort engagements at Wisconsin's Oakton Manor, where his 
career was really launched. Today, at 42, despite his loyal 
supper-club following, regular TV guest shots and a feature 
role in Tony Rome with Frank Sinatra, he still hasn't at- 
tempted to capture mass attention, "I never wanted. 
my nature," the Sheck reflects. "I had more peace of mind work- 
ing a strip club in Milwaukee.” But his strip-joint days аге 
long gone: and after 20 years of nightclub work and the 
promise of many more to come, he finds all the satisfaction he 
needs in being widely recognized as the comcdian's comed 


PLAYBOY 


178 


BERRY-SMASHING DAY (continued from page 156) 


directly with management, then the un- 
ion settles them for you, correct? Well, 
the pickers formed a union, but the 
major growers won't recognize it, so no 


complaints are settled in any way except 
ihe way thc growers want, and that's 
always to the extreme disadvantage of 


the pickers. These pickers are relatively 
uneducated but very honest people, usu- 
ally from a forcign-speaking minority, 
good family men, they know how to 
pick fruit, like the outdoors and accept 
gladly their means of livelihood, and 
now all they want is for their legitimate- 
ly formed union to be recognized and 
honored by the growers, so the union 
can bargain directly and fairly for better 
wages, decent wages, the most minimum 
of national-minimum-wage-act wages, and 
for the most commonly accepted work- 
ing and living conditions, which means 
а portable privy near their work area and 
dormitories that weren't built ages ago 
for pigs. Now, is that asking for too 
much?’ 

“No. 

“Then support us by joining the boy- 
cou movement against the illegal grow- 
ers. We're asking you—and, incidentally, 
this is in full accordance and sympathy 
from your own union organizer, Mr. 


Felk. at Local Seventy-nine—to refuse to 
sell ras, black and loganberries in your 
store, And, in fact, tomorrow, in the 
street outside the supermarket, to pub- 
icly dump and destroy the berries you 
already have while TV cameras of two 
local stations here take pictures and do 
a story of you doing it, all of which we'll 
be instrumental in setting up.” 

I made a few whoos and good Gods 
into the phone and asked the man to 
repeat what he had just asked me to do, 
which he was doing when Jennie walked 
over with a blackboard that listed the 
ingredients that were going into her 
“New Superspecial Famous Northern 
California Egg Dish tonight, which in- 
cludes sweet cream, Swiss and. parmesan 
cheese, scallions, peppers, pimientos and 
fresh chopped oregano and parsley,” and 
id, "Who's on the phone?” 

I told her, "Union business.” And to 
What's your name, if I might 


is Blackspot. Now, what do you say?” 
why not ask the head of prod- 
uce, and he n was too 
old, besides being in complete agree- 
ment with the berry growers 
ment against the pickers. "Do what I 


erald , what do we сате what the Pope 
? We're Presbyterians." 


ask, Kevin, and it might be the spark we 
need io make our Eastern boycott suc- 
cessful. We don't want any more fire- 
bombing. Innocent people get hurt and 
it looks bad for us, besides. Just dump 
the berries at ten tomorrow, which the 
stations say is the latest they can cover 
the story, because of previous camera 
commitments, and we swear we'll use 
суау presure we have to keep you on 
at the store, if they decide to fire you, 
and if that’s impossible, then your un- 
ion has promised to place you at even a 
higher wage at a pro-picker store. You'll 
also be stamping your own special mark 
for the same things your own union 
fought for and won only twenty years 
ago; now, what do you say?” 

1 said I'd think it over, but he said I 
had no time. I said why didn't he get a 
produce head of one of the giant, more 
influential markets to do it and he said 
because my store was in the news now 
nd to gain back respect for the move- 
ment, that fire-bombing had to be white- 
washed from the public's mind. "What 
you'd do would mean that even though 
one of your favorite colleagues was se- 
verely burned, his fellow employees still 
thought so much of the movement that 
they forgave the fire-bombing and were, 
in fact, placing direct blame for it on 
the growers and indirect blame on the 
market owners for trying to sell those 
berries." 

1 


ıd, oh, what the hell, I'd do it and 
he said I'd see him in front of the store 
at ten, then. "You'll recognize me is ап 
ary pedestrian with the most un- 
ordinary happy grin an ordinary pedes- 
id. Pickers around the nation 
will never forget you for this. You're a 
credit to your profession and local.” 
t care about being a credit to 
my profession. I never had any illusions 
that my job was difficult or needed 
many physical or mental skills, though 1 
did have to use some better judgment 
and really strain a muscle or two when 1 
worked for a small market five years ago 
and had to get up before the pigeons to 
select and buy the store's produce line 
right off the trucks. Now I open crates 
that are delivered twice a week to the 
market, make sure the fruits and vegeta- 
Dies look appetizing and salable to the 
customers, which mostly means using the 
right fluorescent lights and straightening 
out the food and spraying it every other 
hour to give it that justpicked or 
nedon look and odor, put up the 
price signs that management directs us 
to from its offices im another city and 
occasionally use my own mind by writ- 
ing and installing cute and clever say 
ings on the more perishable items, such 
аз ACT LIKE THIS FRUIT 18 YOUR MOTHER- 
IN-LAW: PLEASE DO NOT SQUFEZE. But I 
agreed with just about everything that 
Blackspot about improving the lot 


of the pickers, was bored with C&L 
after three years and didn’t mind losing 
my job if I could get another one, 
though, with two weeks’ severance pay, 
and then it'd be a kick seeing myself on 
television, having my wife, friends and 
relatives all seeing me, which'd be the 
most exciting thing to happen to me 
since my plane came back with me and 
my National Guard unit in it from an 
overseas emergency Middle East crisis sev- 
eral years age and my crying wife and 
ly suffocated me to death at 
irport gate. 

How'd you like 10 өсе me on tele 
sion tomorrow night?” I said to Jennic 
when she set that superspecial northern- 
California egg dish in front of me: and 
nd how'd you like го sce me 
ino gown?” 

And she said, "And 
so am L Wouldn't I look spectacular? 
Now, eat up." And to that five-month- 
old thing in her belly: "You, too, mister, 
and don't be lening me know if you 
think the dish is too hot." 

The eggs weren't very good, too 
bland, which not even salt would im- 
prove, which surprised me, with all the 
different herbs, spices and ingredients 
she had in it, and when she asked how it 
was, T said, "Great, um, fine, though still 
not as good as one of your plain cheese 
omelets or fried egg marinara, so maybe 


Bur I'm serious. 


this ought to be the last time we have it, 
OK?" 

“J like it, The sautéed pepper I could 
do without, but I like it.” She ate all her 
eggs and, without asking me or any- 
thing, spooned half of my eggs onto her 
plate, while [ just sat there, daydream- 
ing about how I was going to get the 
berries to the street tomorrow before the 
manager or Finerman got wind of what 


I was doing. 


I got to work a little earlier than 
usual and cleaned up the produce sec 
tion a half hour before the store was to 
open at nine. The window from the 
bombing the day before still had wood- 
en planks and tape over it and the store 
still smelled some from the fire. even 
though we had used several cass of 
bathroom spray. One of the girl food 
Clerks said that just before she left the 
night before, thé manager told her the 
company wasn't going to repair the win- 
dow tll rhe weekend, just to show the 
gitators that we didn't think a broken 
window was going to lose us much bu 
ness and to also show the neighborhood 
how difficult it was providing them with 
the wide selection of food products we 
thought they wanted. I told her 1 
thought 2 broken window was definitely 
going to lose us trade, not only because 
it looked bad but also because it 


reminded customers that more agitation 
might come if the dispute wasn't settled 
and, worse than that, of Nelson's near 
death. 

“How is he, you know?" she said, and 
I told her I'd been thinking of calli 
the hospital: in fact, would do ir right 
now, since I had a few minutes before 
the store opened, and went to tlie office. 
sod morning, Kevin,” the manager 
d. "Everything straightened out up 
front?” He said this every time I saw 
him and he meant was the floor swept in 
my section and was I getting the more 
per ble items that wouldn't last the 
week right up on top for everyone to see 
or at least working with Finerman іп 
ordering replacement. produce, since the 
company prohibited markdowns on its 
fruits and vegetables. This was really his 
olfice, he made us very aware of that. 
made us feel uncomfortable whenever 
we had to use just one of the three desks 
in his office, and he red-circled the check- 
in numbers of our timecards if we 
punched in three minutes late more than 
once a week or two minutes late morc 
than twice а week and even complained 
to our department superiors if he thought 
we were spending too much time in the 
washroom, which happened to be within 
ig distance from his glass office over- 
looking the store, as I guess everythii 


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else was, except the stock room in bi 
where the staff took their breaks. That 
was why I was a little jittery and maybe 
foo hesitant when 1 asked if hed mind 
my using the phone to call about Nelson. 
He said 1 needn't bother, he had called 
himself last night and the hospital 
Nelson's doing satisfactorily and 
wouldn't know of any improvement in 
his condition for two days. "He has those 
ind of burns. 

Fd still like to call, if you don't 
mind, and find out if he just might have 
improved overnight.” 

I never knew you and Nelson were 
That close.” 

‘We weren't, exactly. Т mean, Nelson 
liked me and me, him and we had lots 
of respect for each other, as we were 
both on the company softball team that 
made the league play-offs two years ago. 
Nelly at short and me at second.” 

“It’s also that the company’s been 
complaining to me recently about the 
excess calls from this phone, and on 
both exchanges. They say it's completely 
out of proportion to the excess calls of 
the other stores, and even sent me a 
notice 10 post on the bulletin board, 
which I haven't done, because I thought 
a brief mention of it at our next staff 
conference might serve as well.” 

“Im sure they could make an excep- 
tion with t 

“I'm sure they could, too, if this were 
the only exception. But I can't be 


explaining to them why cach excess call 
of my employees, or at least the calls T 
find out about, is an exception—I'd be 
<plaining to them all week, if that 
were the case.” 

So he wasn't going to let me use the 
phone after all. He didn't care about 
Nelson, except that he had to be re- 
placed by а les efficient man at the 
register and that might lower the day's 
profit a fraction of a percentage point 
and, good God!, how was he ever going 
to explain that to the company. He 
didn't care about the pickers or even 
his own employees: and if it had been 
me burned and Nelson who wanted to 
call the hospital. it would've been the 
same excuse: excess calls. 1 said thank 
you. I don't know for what, and called 
ihe hospital frem the pay phone in 
back. Nelson was doing satisfactorily, a 
nurse said, though chances of his com- 
plete recovery wouldn't be known for at 
least another day. 

“You see the са 9” Mary Sarah, 
another food derk, said when I got 
back to my section. “They're setting up 
outside—two of them from different sta- 
tions. What you think they're for?" 

“Probably to photograph the scene of 
yesterday's bombing.” 

‘And the paper today? There was a 
picture of our market, real as life except 
for the boards, and another of Nelson 
waving from his bed in the hospit 
though he looked so grim and we: 


“1 don't care if you are tall, blond, well built, 
intelligent, witty, interested in sports, art and music. 


1 say the computer dating service goofed! 


seemed maybe suings were maki 
hand move. My hubby. Mike, and I 
talked about Nelson last night and 
couldn't decide what all that degree 
business meant. Though because third 
sounds so much the worse over second. 
we almost agreed it wasn't, simply be- 
cause it was too obyious, and so we 
wouldn't have even thought about the 
question in the first place. Do you have 
а due" 

The store bell rang, everyone got to 
his post, the doors opened and the usual 
early-morning surge of customers eager 
to get what they believed were daily. 
delivered fresh fruits. and vegetables 
bought grapefruits, oranges, peaches and 
tomatoes and raspberries that had been 
on the counter for a few days. 

“It's getting so exciting outside,” Mary 
Sarah sud, coming by alter the early 
rush had ended and squeezing and 
thumping a melon to see if it was ripe 
enough for that night. "Could you put 
this one away for me?" she said, which 
I did. "And the papers say it was all 
because of those things—those berrics 
there.” and she pointed to the four 
crates of berries that іп a half hour I 
was going to dump onto the street and 
destroy. I had already figured out how I 
was going to do it, T'd wait till Finer- 
man went in back for his every-half- 
houron-thehalfhour smoke, and then 
I'd simply stack the crates on one anoth- 
er and carry them outside. 

“Morning, Kc Tt was Mrs. Shape, 
another morning regular. For six months 
in the cold se: 
but anise, artichokes and apples; 
during the warmer months, it was plums, 
peaches and unpackaged carrots. "You 
shouldn't be selling those things" she 
said, meaning the berries. 

I know that, Mrs. Shape.” 
“I should be boycotting your store for 
selling them, because by having them, 


ag his 


Haven't you seen the telev 
I told her I hadn't and she sud that 
the educational network last week de- 
voted an entire hour to the plight of 
the berrypickers and the cynicism of 
the growers. “They're the most under- 
privileged and underpaid workers we 
; and because of it, they're forced to 
live in hovels and have too many chil- 
dren, thereby causing even more future 
problems for the world. 1 shouldn't even 
be in this store, do you realize that? 
And maybe I won't" and she put down 
the plums, peaches and carrots 1 had 
already weighed out for her and bagged, 
clipped and marked, and left the store. 
"Sce you tomorrow, Kevin,” were the 
last words she said. 

It was nearly ten. The cameras were 
set up and a couple of policemen were 
Keeping the pedestrians away from 
the equipment and the interviewer, whom 
1 recognized from an evening-news-report 
show as one of the most well-known 


television reporters on the city scene. 
People were trying to get his autograph 
while he held a few pieces of paper in his 
hand and was practicing his report to an 
unmanned camera. Suddenly, Mary Sarah 
was right on top of me. excited and 
ош of breath and saying, "You know 
what Mr. Dougherty of WNBT just 
d outside about you, Kev?” And 
Larry, the youngest food clerk. said, 
“What, Mary, what?" “He said that you, 
Kevin. have just smashed all the grower- 
grown berries that hadn't been picked by 
union-upporting pickers, an act of 
protest against the growers and as а 
form of allegiance or something to the 
boycott movement, though I don't know 
if he was talking about you or the 
pickers, now, Kev. 

“Whats that Finennan 
aid, his d match- 
es already out of his pocket and in his 
hands, as he was on his way to the stock 
room for a smoke. 

"What's what all about?" I said, stack- 
ing a crate of berries on another crate. 

“What Mary h said." 

“Mr. Dougherty said you smashed ber- 
ries onto the street and destroyed them, 
though you didn't do that, from what I 
could see, did you, Kev? I would've seen 
it from number six, or at least heard 
about it.” 

“That's true, you would've.” I had 
three crates stacked now, lifted them up, 
told Lary to place the fourth 
crate on top of the three I held, and 
started for the door. 

"Where you going with those?" Finer- 
mun said. "Now, put them down and 
explain to me, Kev." 

I would have, the situation was get- 
ting much too tight and a bir frightei 
ing for me now, but everything 
been ied. which T had 


bout?” 


5 ng had 
men set up their equipment for nothing, 
"I've got to put these berries away, un- 
der manager's orders," I said. 

“Well, you're going the wrong way, if 
that is what you're doing.” Finerman 
said. "Storeroom's in back. Kevin? Now, 
you come buck this instant, Kevin.” 

1 walking through the door. Fin- 
erman, as I had thought, didn't try to 
stop me physically, though by now he 
must have known what was happening. 
Larry, Mary Sarah and the delivery boys 
followed me outside, mumbling to one 
another that something fantastic was 
about to happen. "OK, fellas,” Mr. 
Dougherty said, and the cameras began 
taking film of me on thc street, Mr, 
Dougherty was reporting olf camera how 
1 was leaving the market to demonstrate 
my sympathy with the pickers’ movement 
her wages and better living 
working cond me, N 
Sarah said, “Now I know, now I under- 
stand.” And Larry said, "Oh, Jesus, and 
L was the one who put the last crate of 


Coco 


“I originally bought this car to compensate for my 
fears of sexual inadequacy; but since Гое had it, Гое 
found that I'm really not sexually inadequate!” 


I looked around for Blackspot, 
there a whole slew of ordina 
looking pedestrians grinning and smil 
ng as 1 never saw them do. I 
walked to the curb, set down the crates, 
lifted the top crate and was about to 
turn it over into the street, when a 
couple of boys standing beside me and 
hamming it up for the cuneras said, "As 
long as you're going to throw away those 
things, can we һауе some?" I said по, 
though T honestly didn't know what to 

I hadn't planned for anyone to 
g up what I could sce was a perfect- 
ly legitimate request, and when they 
said, “They're just going to go to waste, 
anyhow,” I told them, "Well, only one 
basket apiece, understand?” The boys 
took a basket each from one of the 
crates on the sidewalk and then it 
seemed that everybody in the crowd 
except my co-workers and the television 
people and one unhappy, ungrinning, 
very ordinarylooking man except for a 
purple birthmark the size of a gl 
coaster in the middle of his forehead 
began grabbing baskets of berrics out of 
the crates and stufling them into their 
shopping bags or just cating handfuls of 
berries right on the street, as the two 
boys were doing. The crowd emptied 
the three crates in а matter of seconds and 
were reaching for the berries in the 
crate D was holding away from their 
reach, when 1 threw that crate to the 
ground and quickly stepped on and 
smashed the berries rolling every which 
way and then almost everybody in the 
crowd joined in stepping on the berries 


mos 


with me. “We're pressing wine,” someone 
yelled. “Down with the illegal grow- 
ers,” Blackspot shouted at the сате 
“Up with C&L fruit men.” a man 
said, and that was the cheer the crowd 
liked best. "Up with C&L fruit men 
They give away free berries for noth- 
ing.” The cameras picked up on all of 
- Mr. Dougherty was reporting the 
story as if a last-second, game winning 
touchdown had just been scored. It was 
almost a surprise to me not to be hoist 
ed to someone's shoulders and hip-hip- 
hoorayed to. 


That evening, Jennie and 1 sit dow 
for the evening news. I told her some 
thing special was poing to he on that we 
ought to watch, as L hadn't mentioned 
what had happened at work that day. She 

she ought to sce how the chicke 
was doing in the oven, but I said, “ 
tight, just for a moment?" 

There were a lot of reports about 
Vietnam and Africa and the UN and 
our country’s gold crisis and the city's 
impending school crisis and then the 
story that I was in. “Oh, gosh, I can't 
believe it, you were right," Jennie said, 
and I told her to cin it, J couldn't 
hear; and off camera, Mr. Dougherty, 
while the screen showed me leaving the 
store, was telling a different story fom 
the one he'd begun to recite when the 
incident actually took place. Now he 
said that what had started out to be one 
individual's protest against the 
city supermarkets’ nonadherence 
ras, black and loganberry boycott 
into a major neighborhood [unin. 
“Kevin Wimer was the principal figure 


it 


major 
to thc 
turned 


181 


PLAYBOY 


182 


іп the demonstration, but the neigh- 
borhood, a polyglot of race, creed and 
culture, wouldn't let Мі. Wimer lı 
his protest without them eating it, too. 
The television showed that long mad 
loud scene of people stealing the baskets 
and popping berries into their mouths 
for the benefit of the cameras, and Mi 
Dougherty said it was like а “modern- 
dress Ceal В. De Mille presents scene 
of Bacchanalian Rome" The last shot 
on the screen showed me still holding 
the fourth cate and walking with my 
back to the cameras and Mr. Dougherty 
ying, “So what began as а brave indi 
vidual's protest against а segment of 
the giant corporate structure ended up 
as the best gesture of neighborhood good 
Ш and all the free publicity that ac- 
companies it that a supermarket chain 
could hope to gei 
Did they fire you?” Jennie asked. 

"The manager said he'd speak to up- 
gement about it, but in the 

I should stay on, they're 
short of help. But there are always other 
jobs." 

"We gor bills, you know. a baby а 
ing on, and chicken costs money, even il 
you do get it at two thirds the price.” 
She went to the kitchen, yelled out, 
"You're a fool and a show-off. Kevin 
Wi that ner 
would be ready in five minutes. 

Blackspot phoned. "You weren't a 
first forceful enough with those two 


“Easy, buster! Thai's my very best training bra 


boys, but thanks, anyway. Nobody won 
or lost, but it at least drew some mudh- 
needed nonviolent attention to the move- 
ment. ] was wondering if ус 
keı lines tomorrow aga 
grower Food-o-Rama on а Hundred 
xryeighth, We need marchers badly. 
Im still working.” T said. "But be- 
cause of my general allaround foul-up 
today and sympathy for the movement, 
Га like to give a few dollars to the 
pickers. Where do T send it то?” 
We're going to have a complete full 
ad in all the city’s newspapers on 
Sunday. ІСІ mention just that matter 
and ako the address of national head. 
quarters, where the donations should be 
sent." 

‘The phone т; 


ng again а few minutes 
ter. “Let ng.” Jennie said. bur I 
left the table and answered it and it was 
Nelson Forman's wife, Rita. She said she 
adn't scen the story on television herself. 
ast five friends had called to tell 
‘one of Nelson's colleagues had 
come on television to say that not only 
did Nelson deserve to get burned bur 
the whole city should go up in flames if 
the city and supermarkets and supermar- 
ket workers and shoppers didn't support 
the berry boycott. E told her that wasn't 
true, wondered out loud what show her 


nly wasn't the one Jennie 
saw, and the other station covering it 
shot the exact same scene.” Then T 


asked how Nelon was and she said, 
“Oh, fine, absolutely fine. 1 mean, how 
che would he be with half his body 
charred to shreds and all the pain 
goes with it, which no amount of drugs 
administered. seems to help?" 

“Is he improving any? 1 mean, Nel- 
son and | were friends, Тіп interested, 
everybody ar work is concerned," and 
she said, “Oh, yeah. a lot you care.” 

Vo, that's mot true, I care а lor that 
television report your friends р 
totally false," and she said, “Well. the 
doctors say he'll live, thank God, though 
with so much of his body burned. they 
say hell have to get skin grafts on the 
parts burned most,” and it occurred. 10 
me that she if anybody would know the 
answer as to which of the two degices 
was worse. I first said I'd be glad to give 
some of my skin to Nelson. if the doc 
tors thought the color was right and all, 
“ав I've big thighs and an even bigger 
behind and I Enow that's wh 
таке the donor's skin fro 
her about the question that had been 
bothering me for two days now and 

h was worse, if she didn't mind my 
ng, second- or third-degree burns? 
said, "Well, the main difference, 
cison's doctor toll me but then 
she broke down; it sounded as if she was 
allowing the mouthpiece whole. I felt 
very bad for her and said, “Now, come 
on, don't ay, iv be all r 
thing'll work out OK, Rita," but she 
“L cart go on, Гус been like this sin 
the fire-bombing, oh, what's wrong wi 
this would, anyway?" and hung up. 

I stood there a few seconds with Ri 
sobbing voice and those pleas of hers still 
in my head. then went to the dictio 
the living room while Jennie was call- 


every- 
id, 


ing me back to the table in the kitchen, 
but a 


it had i 
second" and “u 


were the words 
and "hr" and 
burn" and "s" for the plural, but no 
word “degree” after them, neither with 
hyphens, separated nor anything. 1 decid- 
ed Td never get to know the answer to 
this question. That none of my friends 
and nobody at work knew and 
ybe the only person who could 
tell me would be one of those great 
skin-doctor specialists like the one work- 
ing on Nelson, who wouldn't give me 


rd 


the time of day on the phone for less 
. Then 1 remembered my 


than а 550 
promise to Rita and І said out loud. 
"Good God, what the hell you get into 
ne?" and T suddenly felt stomach- 
sick and woozy, because just the thought 
of being operated on for skin for Nel- 
son's grafting scared me to no end now. 
1 hoped Rita would forget my sugges 
tion, or maybe in her condition she 
hadn't even heard my suggestion, but 1 
had promised her my skin and 1 knew 
Id have to go along with it if 1 was 


asked. 
a 


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(истяк Savia DON BACCEFONT COM, 


PLAYBOY FORUM 


souls? Would we all have to turn in our 
swatters? Since belief in the humanity of 
the embryo is a religious consideration, it 
should not, under the American system of 
separation of church and state, be im- 
posed on nonbelievers by legislation. 
Barton V 
Los Angeles, California 


RIGHT TO ABORTION 
Iam 18 years old, n 
ing my second child. When I discovered 
that I was pregnant, I considered having 
1 abortion, because my husband and I 
felt that another baby would cause con 
siderable financial hardship. But 1 found 
that 1 could not deliberately submit to an 
abortion without sincere regret and an- 
guish. Having made my decision, 1 look 
forward to giving birth. Despite financial 
hardship, my child will come into the 
world loved and wanted. Гао believe, how- 
ever, that the individual woman should 
have the right to decide whether or not to 
have an abortion. If a woman fecls that 
she does not want a child and that she 
iot love it, she should not be forced. 

to bring that child into the world. 
Mrs. Barbara Henderson 

Wheaton, Illinois 


MARRYING THE GIRL 

There may be a few rrAYmov readers 
who will be aided in future decision- 
y experience. Some years 
h whom 1 had broken up 
came to me with a proble ad gotten 
her pregnant. We decided to marry—even 
though we had not planned to sec cach 
other again—because we had a bas 
spect for cach other and for human bei 
general. We felt that we had created а 
human life and that it was our responsi- 
bility to preserve it. 

We are now, several years later, very 
happy we made that decision. Our son is 
the dearest person in the world to us. 
We fecl we've both been strengthened 
and ennobled by having faced and 
shouldered a responsibility instead of re- 
jecting it. And we find ourselves very 
much in уе with each other, because 
we accepted this adventure together. 

Obviously, І don't think marriage is 
the solution t0 every case of outof- 
wedlock pregnancy. I would like to offer 
one couple's personal testimony, however, 
that marrying under such circumstances 
need not be the end of the world—it can 
be 


(Name withheld by request) 
APO San Francisco, California 


ADMITTING ADULTERY 

An item in the January Forum. News- 
[ront gave the impresion that I advocate 
concealing an extramari 
one’s spouse. Since any discussion of 
adultery must be presented with the 
greatest clarity, I would like to make 


(continued from page 70) 


a small, but meaningful correction to 
this apparent conclusion. My reason for 
advising discretion is my belief that 
change in social attitudes comes about 
dually, particularly attitudes dealing 
with a matter as highly charged emotion- 
ally as an extramarital affair, First we 
must recognize and admit the frequency 
of this behavior. Sccondly, the positive 
value of it (for some people) must also 
be recognized and acknowledged. 1 would 
advocate complete honesty in the matter. 
only if I thought it possible to accomplish 
an extensive change in popular attitudes 
ht now. 

1 do not think an extramarital affair 


considered weak, neurotic, 
immature, undignified or rep- 
rchensible behavior. If an effort at 


thinking through the issues could lift the 
subject out of the realm of behavior 
viewed as inferior, immoral and socially 
unacceptable, it would then become pos- 
sible 10 admit an altair to a spouse. The 
need for secrecy at present is only to 
avoid the possible harm arising from a 
premature, indiscreet use of the truth. 

О. Spurgeon English, M. D. 

Narberth, Pennsylvania 


WHAT IS ADULTERY? 

In my leuer in the February Playboy. 
Forum, 1 pointed out that the modern 
interpretation of the commandment 
“Thou shalt not kill" has strayed far 
from its original, limited meaning for 
the ancient nomadic Hebrews. It may be 
of even greater interest to you that the 
me can be said of “Lo tinaf" ("Thou 
shalt not commit adultery”), the com- 
mandment upon which Judaco-Christian 
sexual morality is ultimately based. In 
modern usage, this commandment із in- 
terpreted as a prohibition of any sexual 
activity outside wedlock. Since Hebrews 
were, at the time, polygamous, it was 
actually a prohibition of sex for a mar- 
d woman with anyone other Шап 
her husband and for any married man 
in married to someone else. 
mot prohibit intercourse between. 
men and unmarried women, intercourse 
with prostitutes or the taking of more 

onc wile. 
Until 985 A, Jews in Europe were 
tcd to marry as many women 
chose: and, in fact, they are still 
permitted polygamy in parts of Asia and 
Africa. Yemenite Jews, who brought as 
many as five wives with them from their 
mother country. are common in Israel 
and are recognized by law. Polygamy for 
Asiatic Jews is now outlawed in Israel by 
secular-criminal law but not by any reli- 
gious prohibition. Polygamy was reli- 
giously outlawed for European Jews and 
their descendants (which would include 
most U.S. Jews) for "one thousand 
years.” Since this injunction pro- 
nounced by Rabbenu Gershom in 985, it 


will. therefore. be invalid after 1985. 
present, there is no Jewish authority 
who could renew that injunction and 
it will thus be religiously feasible for 
ry several wives in 


Michael Plashkes 
Tel Aviv, Israel 


ANOTHER OTHER WOMAN 
As an “other woman,” 1 have a mcs- 
sage for those in this position who have 
Leen cussing out the wives of America 
in The Playboy Forum: 
e the facts, gi 
really wants his wom 
divorce is hard but not impo: 
you meant as much to him as his wile 
does, you wouldn't be the other wom: 
you would be the woman. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Forest Hills, New York 


MATE SWAPPING 

The Playboy Forum letters about mate 
swapping have been very pertinent to 
my husband and myself. We had a very 
happy marriage of scveral years when he 
first suggested we try this scene for cxtra 
kicks. Coming from a rather strict fami- 
ly, I was shocked and upset—so much so 
that he didn’t mention the subject again 
for another year. When he did mention 
it again, I agreed, very nervously. It was 
an overwhelming success; we have gone 
to mateswapping parties ten times in 
the past two years and we arc happicr 
and more in love than ever. 

I don't doubt the people who ha 
reported domestic disasters resulting from 
their own mateswapping experiences, 
but I do know that in my case, the 
results have been entirely positive, en- 
riching and (to borrow an expression 
from the young) consciousness expanding- 

(Name withheld by request) 
Seaford, New York 


ve 


MARRIAGE AND OWNERSHIP 
1 read with interest the October and 
January Playboy Forum letters from а 


Methodist minister who is concerned 
with the ethics of sexual behavior. 1 


ud not only his iniellectual reason- 
nd psychological insight but also his 
morality. He secs the tue meaning of 
intercourse: the desire for love, 
ation and understanding that 
is in all of us. He sees also the fallacies 
in socictys standards of chastity and 
fidelity. | found it surprising, however, 
that he has overlooked the basic weak- 
ness of marriage and the fault that gives 
rise to so much misery and jealousy. 
The family unit came into being as 
the simplest, most casily regulated cco- 
nomic and sociologic unit. In a society 
where physical survival was the prime 
factor, the family working together. 
served its purpose; it succeeded and ha 
survived to this day with little chang 


Marriage at that time made the woman а 185 


PLAYBOY 


186 


chattel, a possesion of man. Modern 
women have reached, through struggle, a 
plateau almost equal to men. Yet what 
have they gained? They did not g 
their freedom. for man never rel 
quished his ownership. They have won 
only the right to possess equally. Mar- 
ge now makes cach the exclusive prop- 
erty of the other. It is this, accepted by 
society in the name of morality, that 
the faulty foundation for, and the cor- 
roding force in, marital relationships. 

The family unit, when it is healthy 
and productive, serves аз an example to 
the children of proper male-female roles 
and of social interaction. As such, it is 
worth while. As a unit of exclusivity. own 
ership and jealousy, it is neither healthy 
nor productive. 


Vivian Shaw 
Eatontown, New Jersey 


TESTIMONIAL TO ADULTERY 

My husband travels a lot and also 
works overtime quite often. As a result, 
we go three or four weeks without inter- 
course. I used to be irritable and tense, 
harsh with my children and quarrelsome 
with my husband, until 1 began having 


affairs while my husband was away. 
When some of the men I went to bed 
with offered me money, I took it. Final- 
ly, I confessed to my husband what [ 
was doing: he took it with surprising 
calm, especially after I bought him, 
with some of the money I'd made, an 
expensive suit һе had been raving about 
for months. 1 no longer feel unhappy. 
cooped up and frustrated and I function 
better as a wife and mother. | know 
some married women will find what 1 
do repulsive, but they shouldn't knock it 
until they've tried it, 

(Name withheld by request) 

Boston, Massachusetts. 


GIVING V.D. BAD NEWS 

In the November 1968 Playboy Ad- 
visor, C. H. told of the difficulty he en- 
countered telling his girlfriend that she 
needed an examination for venereal dis 
case. PLAvnoy replied, "You were right 
to do what you did and exactly as you 
did it.” 

There is another 


nd, in my opinion, 
better way of informing a person that 
he or she may have a venereal disca 
Leave the job to а V. D. epidemiologist. 


by coat 


SS 


| 


“ГИ tell you something е 


se. It's the brand that 


recent tests showed contained 
the most tar and nicotine.” 


V.D. "epi" men are a g 
known publichealth specialists who are 
highly skilled in performing just this 
function in society. 

Working mostly out of public-health 
rtm about 600 of these men 
ndle more than 400,000 reported cases 
n the greatest confidence, without 
ing sources of information, without 
legal tactics of any sort, without jeopard- 
izing one's job, family or social status. 
‘They preserve a maximum of respect for 
the dignity of the persons involved. “Con- 
tacts” named by military personnel arc 
handled in the same by the same 
man is on your 
He has one goal and only one: 
the world safe for rest and 
recreation. 

William F. Schwartz, Educational 
Consultant 

Southeastern Alliance for 
Eradication of Venereal Disease 

Atlanta, Gcor 


oup of little. 


people. The V. D. “epi 
side. 


THE FRUITS AND THE VEGETABLES 

David Crosby's statement. that people 
with long hair are all “fruits” (The 
Playboy Forum, February) is even more 
ridiculous than the old bigotries about 
all Negroes being lazy, all Jews crooked, 
all Frenchmen sex mad, etc. What next, 
Mr. Crosby: Will you start condemn 
people wholesale because of the kind of 
саг they drive or the decorative scheme 
of their apartments? 


Hammond 
as. Tes 


haired guy would rather be 
1 fruit than an apathetic yege- 
able. Think about it, Mr. Crosby. 

Jon Baggs 

Ursinus College 
Collegeville, Pennsylvania 


David Crosby's letter turned my stom- 

ach! When he says that “it is important 

for today's student to keep his mouth 

shut and he is sweeping his pride 
ibility under the barber's 

h his hair. 

Glenn Harbour 

University of New Hampshire 

Durham, New Hampsh 


didn't have a rewcut. 
Howard Lenard 

Wisconsin State University 
Oshkosh, Wisconsin 


We agree with David Crosby. The 
hippies drop out of society because they 
are childish and unable to live maturely 
in the modern world. They merely seck 
attention with their long hair, wild 
clothes and protest signs. There are 
other ways to deal with the controversial 
sues of the day 

Mike Williams 

George Vaporeai 

Southeast Missouri State College 

Cape Girardean, Missouri 


Mr. Crosby says some groups of mus 
cians have normal hair. What is nor- 
mal hair? Why should men be cut, 
trimmed and clipped like French poodlesz 

Olga F. Cannon 
Chino, California 


YELLOW-BACKED PACIFISTS 

In the February Playboy Forum, I no- 
ticed a deuer from Thomas М. Cleaver 
ng that the local authorities 
те in Killeen, Texas, have been har- 
assing the Oleo Strut coffeehouse because 
its owners are pacifists. 

This is to inform you that the only 
customers the Oleo Strut has ever been. 
able to attract are seven or eight soldiers 
of the undesirable variety, who should 
have received dishonorable discharges 
long ago. I it weren't for a few outor- 
town Communists and two local attor- 
neys, ihe coffechouse would have gone 
broke the first month. 

You would really have to sce these 
weirdos to believe them. They wear their 
hair in a strange way and, if you look 
close enough, you сап see a stripe of 
yellow up their backs. 

The Rev. Bob Johnson 
Killeen, Texas 


WHO KILLED FRANCONIA? 

I attended, endured and loved Fran- 
College (The Playboy Forum, 
у) for two years. Previous to 
tended a state college in Penn- 
nia that had а rule that women 
students could not wear pants off the 
campus; I won't bore you by telling you 
about the curriculum shoved at me. 

Franconia College was a good place, 
an active, self-sufficient community based 
on the ideal of cooperation. The state 
of New Hampshire and Franconia V 
lage just didn't understand; all they 
could sec when they glanced away from 
their TV tubes was "a bunch of dirty, 
long-haired peacenik bums.” They never 
bothered to look deeper than that. ` 
do and dope,” they said, and "W. 
gonna get those niggers and Jews up 
there.” A policeman on the campus once 
called a black friend of mine a nigger. 
Besides police harassment and public hu- 
miliation, we were discriminated against 
in restaurants and stores. I was spit on 
once by a middle-aged ma 

We kept our culture to ourselves and 
tried to help in community-service proj- 
ects. We did no harm to anyone and we 
offended their aesthetics по more than 
they did ours. Franconia College is dead 
now, and wc are widely scattered. 
Hypocrisy, stupidity and irrationality 
uiumphed in New Hampshire. 

Helen L. Chappell 
Kennett Square, Pennsylvania 


FREEDOM AT FRANCONIA 

‘There is a third side to the two-sided 
“hicks vs. students" picture of the de 
cline and fall of Franconia College as 


portrayed in the February Playboy Fo. 
Tum. | was an accepted member of the 
“freedom is paradise" club myself, but I 
gradually became aware that we were 
imposing on other peoples freedom so 
that we could be carefree and happy. 

1 remember coming into the dorm 
one night when the local band м: 
practicing full blast They could have 
used a vacant building in back just as 
easily. One student. finally complained, 
saying he wanted to study. The rest 
were quite put out by this "right-wing" 
idea. They were half-kidding, but their 
reaction illustrated а popular attitude, 
one that permeated the atmosphere of 
the whole college. 

Considering that this was a private 
school, formed by local people for local 
kids who otherwise would not have had 
a chance at education, the monster it 
grew into was so far removed from their 
intentions that they had a right to de 
mand their original idea be restored. It 
is their community and their school, and 
why should they fork over moncy to 
maintain in their midst something so 
opposed to their way of life? 

Most of the people who hated the 
college and brought about the drastic 
changes in its operation (not neatly as 
severe as the leiter in February's Forum 
implied) are rather dead in the imagi 
nation department, and you cin hardly 
call them liberals. But they are people 
and they should be described with some 
attempt to understand them. 

As for the great spring 1908 mari- 
juana bust, everyone knew about ten 
hours ahead of time that it was coming. 
‘The police didn't notify President Ruopp 
because they knew they would get no co- 
operation from him. The students who 
got caught simply sat waiting, instead of 
cleaning things up. A dear friend of mine 
just leaned his own room, sat down full 
of mescaline and watched, while others 
r nd hiding their stufl or just sat 
dreamily and let the police get them. My 
friend didn't have any trouble, and he 
would have been a pretty big catch if 
they had been able to get him. 

The local newspaper did dwell exces- 
sively on dog excrement, but. it always 
blows everything up out of proportion 
That is how papers are sold, but it does 
not represent the way the local people 
talked and thought. 

Regarding animals on campus, the 
Forum letter leaves out the droves of 
starving beasts that did indeed roam 
everywhere. In the name of fun, some 
stomach-turning things were done to 
those creatures, such as getting pets 
stoned and then laughing at their pitiful 
tempts to come to their senses, ‘The 
jority of pets were finally abandoned: 
some were found and put out of their 
misery, but others starved to death. Two 
kittens were kept with no litter pan and 
eventually died of starvation while un- 
der the care of ih - One of ош 


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187 


former friends had a horse that turned 

icious after being repeatedly given acid; 
one day, the beast was led into the 
woods and abandoned to its fate. To me, 
such cruel treatment of animals is un- 
forgivable. 

I enjoyed many of the freedoms of 
the college. Having Lesbian tendencies 
(though I'm now happily married), I 
found the college a most comfortable 
environment. But I am not going to 
fool myself into thinking "we" were all 
right and “they” were all wrong. There 
just ain't no such animal. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Bethlehem, New Hampshire 


PLAYBOY 


THE PERILS OF POT 
eas to 


^ causc postur: 
з. conjunctival congestion. mus 

inary frequency, 
a, vomiting and 
h is the first 


“depressed respiratio 
sign of impending death. 

Yesterday, I had all of these dreadful- 
ing symptoms, although I have 
never smoked pot in my life. 1 wa 
ting around with some Íriends, drink- 
ing beer and smoking (tobacco only), 
when 1 was struck with junctival 
congestion (bloodshot eyes) because of 
the smoke in the room. Having had a bit 
too much beer and only a little food, 1 
became nauseated and ran upstairs to the 
bathroom, threw open the door and 
walked into the dark—thus causing 
mydriasis (dilation of the eye pupils). 
There I vomited. 1 lit another cigarette 
(1 had been smoking heavily all eve- 
ning) but the tobacco left me with dry- 
nies of the mouth. The consumption of 
several quarts of beer had 
me urinary frequency (somehow it al 
ways does that to me), so I switched to 
hourbon, After a few shots, muscular 
incoordination set in, so 1 decided to ро 
yed 
that first sign of impending death in 
animals, depresed respiration. Feeling 
the need to get to the bathroom agai 
rose suddenly and experienced postu 
hypotension (dizziness resulting Irom 
age in blood pressure). 

Anyone who shares Mr. Stearn’s evi- 
dent awe at big words would 
thought I was on the edge of death, but, 
miraculously, I have survived. In short, 
Mr. Stearn has tricd to frighten his 
readers with the old and shabby trick of 
describing minor symptoms in language 
calculated to frighten the layman. Why 
did he leave out pyrosis (heartburn)? 

Robert Hunt 
Santa Ana, Califor 


to bed. There, as I dozed off, I displ: 
fi 


A CLEAN BUST 
A month ago, I was the vicim of what 
is known in the pot world as a clean 
bust In other words, my chances of 
188 escaping conviction for possession of 


re close to zero. I am facing 
possible sentence of ten years at hard 
bor. 

Such narcotic laws, when applied to 
the first offender, place а lifelong stigma 
of felony conviction upon someone who 
until 


quite often was, the bust, re- 
spected, successful and generally con- 
sidered a bright ex 


youth. In my 
ments in high school and college, along 
with dose friendships with adult 
iningless. In the space 
of 24 hours, T started to feel like crim- 
1l scum. It seemed as if cries of “How 
could you do such a thing?” were all 
nd, 10 which I could only reply, 
"Did 1 commit murder, rape. arson or 
Now 1 
retreating 


no longer bother to 
into a subtle 
compounded by a bitterness directed 
toward myself and the whole society in 
which I live. 

(Name withheld by requ 


nswer, 
noia toward all adults, 


MOBILIZING THE GUARD 

The foun thers of this nation 

were fearful of giving the power to т 
n army to one man, so they assigned 
the responsibility to Congress. In 198 
Congress delegated part of this power to 
the President, an act of self-abdica 
that may be unconstitutional. The First 
juadron, 18th Armored Cavalry (ап 
activated National Guard unit from 
Burbank. California) is challenging it 
in the courts. Under the terms of our 
enlistment contracts, we are subject to 
involuntary activation only in time of 
war (or national emergency) declared 
by Congress. If the Supreme Court does 
not hear our case, a dangerous prece- 
dent will be set, whereby the Govern- 
ment can invalidate contracts without 
the mutual consent of both parties, and 
the traditional doctrine of checks and 
lances will suffer another setback. 

Alter we were called up for duty in 
View nd stated our objections in a 
ion, Representative Mendel Rivers, 
ігшап of the House Armed Services 
Committee, disclosed after an investiga 
цоп that the records on our unit ha 
be falsified to show readiness for 
combat. wh п fact, we had not yet 
received such training. The Army there- 
pon assigned us to duty within the 
United States. This concession, however, 
docs not answer our constitutional chal- 
lenge, which remains that the Army 
cannot call us up, even by Presidential 
order, until Congress has declared war. 
Furthermore, the Army has seemingly 
begun a campaign to achieve its ends by 
devious means, without waiting for the 
results of our court casc. 

In the last ї days, 137 men have 
been levied out of our unit for Vietnam 
duty. Under the Army's levy system, 
IBM cards are supposed to be pro 


gramed to pick qualified persons with- 
out favor or prejudice, and the lev 
should not exceed ten percent of any 
unit in one month. Our levy now ex- 
ceeds 13 percent, with most of the month 
still ahead. 

By the time this letter appears in 
print, Lyndon Johnson will have left 
the White House and the levy system 
will have sent most of us to Vietnam (or 
the war may even be over). But the 
Supreme Court should still be made to 
confront the issue we have raised. As 
Justice Douglas said (after the Army 
spirited another National Guard unit to 
Vietnam, virtually overnight, before the 
Supreme Court could vote on whether 
or not it would hear their case), “No one 
not even the Department of Justice 
nor the military—is above the 
democracy, neither is the President. 

First Squadron, 18th Armored 

Fort Lewis, Washington 

This letler was accompanicd by the 
legal brief filed by the men of the 
squadron, signed by 194 enlisted men. 


DEAR OLD MOM 
Philip Wylie’ 
-neralion of Vi 
middle-cla Дес Алктїга TR 
lom") has now been confirmed, 
straight from the horse's mouth. In the 
February issue of Good Hous 
the editors report the results of = 

of 1000 women readers om the di 
‘Ihe results are truly appalli 
ladies were against g 
against alternati 
such as У 
and ist liberalizing the rules for 
con из objcetors. They believed t 
every young man, whether ablebodied 
or not, should give a prescribed period 
of service to the Army: those with handi 
caps should be assigned to ofice work. 
They allowed conscientious objectors to 
be given assignments that don't require 
killing, but wanted them to compen 
for this by serving longer. Sounds patr 
otic as all hell, doesn't 12 Well, read on 
When the question of drafting women 
arose, 89.9 percent voted absolutely no 
for peacetime service and 59.2 percent 
voted no for warti service. In short, 
dear old Mom would call up every young 
man—the blind, the halt, the lame, the 
religious or ethical objector, the mental 
Jy retarded—but she would not serve her 
self. And yet the editors that the 
readers are, as a group, “strongly ins 
ent that the privilege of living іп this 
country carries the responsibility of pro- 
ng it." 

Cadet Lt. John T. Grasso, R.O. T. C. 
Ohio State University 

Columbus, Ohio 


рой 
alt. 


WHOSE CHILD IS THIS? 

Docs the Government own a minor 
child. or dots a parent have final author- 
ity? This question is being analyzed 


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189 


legal case here in San Jose in which 1 
am acting as attorney for Mrs. Evelyn 
Whitehorn, who refused to give permis- 
sion for her son Erik, 18, to register for 
the U.S. draft. 

A boy Erik's age cannot own property, 
not vote, cannot get married, cannot 
contract and is by legal definition 
person, Mrs, Whitehorn contends. 
By the same legal reasoning, he cinnot 
be registered for Selective Service with- 
out her permission. Until now, draft 
resistance has been based on arguments 
ol conscience presented by the prospec 
tive draftees themselves. This is the first 

ase where parents have raised the ques- 
tion of whether the state owns their 
children and can dispose of them as it 
sees fit, or whether they, the parents, 
retain custody. 

Mrs. Whitehorn has two older sons, 
ne of whom has served three years in 
the Navy. Only in the last year has Mrs. 
come to question the validity 
of the Vietnam war, influenced by such 
critics as Eugene McCarthy, the Іше 
Robert Kennedy and the late Dr. Mar- 
tin Luther King 
In a letter 10 


PLAYBOY 


the draft board, Mrs. 
Whitehorn says, is still under 
legal age. I continue to be responsible. 
IL his opinions are cause for punitive 
action, let it be directed at me.” 

Mrs. Whitehorn also wrote in her let- 
тег: "E cannot cons th the Gov- 

ment in placing Erik in a position 
where he is threatened with criminal 
prosecution as а result of upholding 
his beliefs. Congress has not declared 
war The United States is not a pro 
aimed military state. I would like to 
think that events in our country have 
hot advanced, as yet, to the point where 
s à crime, punishable by imprisonment, 
to hold nonviolent beliefs." 
A. Grossman. 
Attorney at. Law 
San Jose, California 


PSYCHIATRIC INJUSTICE 

As а former inmate of Patuxent Insti- 
tution for Defective Delinquents, now on 
parole, | should like to comment on 
Wiliam L. McDonough's letter in the 
February Playboy Forum. Having spent 
time on the same tier with ВШ and 
ing talked with him for some ti 
1 feel I must say that he excluded certa 
[acts from his letter and that some of his 
other allegations were only half-truths. 
The institution developed from an ех 
perimental concept and. the laws imple 
menting it were untested innovations for 
their time. In my opinion, and in Bill's, 
these laws аге now in need of extensive 
change. They have been contested in 
courts by n inmates over а long 

period of time, but to no avail. 
Bill errs when he says he has been 
“confined against [his] will." He has, in 
190 «йесі, chosen to remain in Patuxent; his 


€. 


actions, or rather lack of action, have 
caused his continual recommitment. I 
have no doubt that Bill would have been 
released years аро if he had displayed a 
less hostile attitude toward the people at 
the institution. He repeated over and 
over to me that he would remain there 
for life, if necessary, belore he would 
bow to the law and spirit of Patuxent. 
Although I agree with his opi 
the Jaw as it reads now is wrong, 1 had 
no intention of contesting it while ser 
ng my term. In many ways. I admire 
respect Bill's courage, but 1 feel ıl 
there is a time for martyrdom and a time 
for intelligent action on the part of so- 
ciety in general. 

Much is being done for the prisoners 
at Patuxent. Mr. Joseph Whitehill, an 
tructor at Johns Hopkins University, 
has involved inmates in a Great Books 
study program, in correspondence with 
members of Mensa, a society whose mem- 
bers have exceptionally high 1.Qs, and 
іп making recordings for the blind. 
None of this work would have bee 
possible without the cooperation of pro- 
gressive and enlightencd members of the 
stalf. 

Many strict regulations within the in- 
stitution have been relaxed. Ману in- 
provements have been brought about 
ough the evolution of penology as 
practiced. by many of the doctors, social 
workers and guards. 

Having spent three yea Patuxent, 
T have shared with Bill McDonough the 
degradation of being defined delec- 
tive. I have felt the same sense of injus- 
tice at being sentenced, first to ten years, 
then to a potential life sentence—not for 
an additi imc but on the basis of a 
psychiatrist's report of what Т might do 
n the future. І. too, have faced the dull, 
inima е routine of prison, the 
stagnating and depressing sameness of 
h day. Though 1 was never treated 
brutally by any guard in Patuxent, such 
treatment could not have been as horri- 
ble as the mental anguish all men facing 
a life sentence must surely fee! 

Bill is correct in saying that there are 
thousands of men іп lar situations; 1 
feel. however. that legal changes are only 
рай of the solution. People must be 
made aware of inmates problems; the 
nates must be occupied in ways that 
re more worth while to themselves: and 
constructive and creative uses must be 
made of all means available 10 rchabili- 
tate the prisoners and. prepare them for 
normal lives. Otherwise the penal system 
will continue to be as bad as it has been. 
for the past hundred. years. 

William W. Beard 
Baltimore, Maryland 

Your letter stresses Ihe positive side of 
life at Patuxent, but, as you acknowl- 
edge, indefinite imprisonment, no matter 
how much it is ameliorated, is a dreadful 


fate. McDonough is being held on the 
basis of someone's judgment about an 
intangible—his “mental health." To con- 
ceal one's feeling of anger amd one's 
belief that the situation is unjust may be 
considered shrewd, but we doubt that it 
is healthy. Our democratic society values 
the open expression of dissent in publi 
life; why does such an expression become 
а mark of “mental illness” іп an insti- 
tution? McDonough, we're sure, із по 
would-be martyr; but it usually takes 
both enlightened social action and coura- 
geous individuals to get things done. 


‘The letter about the indefinite impris- 
onment of William McDonough will 
strike a responsive chord in some of the 
members of this and similar organiza 
tions. The laws that govern mental com 
mitments are a patchwork of pseudolegal 
procedures, under which all constit 
tional protections are summarily sus- 
pended and individuals are committed to 
а lifetime of brutal confinement on the 
s of opi у. gossip. bias, and 
the hopes and fears of social worker 

Eugene Austin, Chairman 
Missouri Coun: mily Law 
St. Louis, Missouri 


AROMINABLE AND DETESTABLE 
This letter is a bit belated, but I wish 


to thank the Playboy Found: for 
its help in providing legal aid when I 
was charged with the “abominable and 
detestable crime I wa 


enced го five years in p 
tunately, did not have to serve any time 
in the penitentiary. Under a legalistic 
device used in this state, the judge can 
hhold adjudication of guilt and order 
а period of probation, instead 

This next bit of news may surprise 
your readers: It was a female on whom I 
itempted” to commit this “abominable 
crime.” I am а male. And it happened 
in the 20th Century. But it happened in 
in which this "crime" —ihe statute 
n to defin is pun- 
hable by up to 20 years in prison. 
The troubles began when I, a journal- 
ist, criticized а state legislative comm 
tee, which w bly organized to 
investi but somehow ex 
panded its witch-hunting mandate to 
ity. Shortly there 
1 was invited by a woman 1 knew 
slightly to come to her motel room to 
discuss a drinking problem she claimed 
ve. When 1 found her wearing only 
a sheer negligee, and that open invit- 
gly, I was prepared to do what comes 
= but she suddenly grabbed my 
toward her pubic 


state. Im 
came a serge 
ad and a photog 
and I was arrested. 

with whom 1 


natural by the 
door opened and. 
the local vice sq 
Pictures were take 

The busty ex-barm 


191 


м 
© 
m 
= 
= 
ы 
Pu 


The sporting McGregors make the year’s biggest catch— 
the Sailfish Suit, and а whole schoo! of adventurous 

swim and beach looks of 100% Antron* nylon. “The 
Wave? is rocking the boat at fine stores, $10 to $25 

by McGregor-Doniger Inc., the makers of men's and 
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was caught flagrante delicto was, it turned 
out, an employce of the state committee 
I had been attacking. Her job? She was 
employed as а lure to wap Lesbians, She 
d the committee investigator and the 
police officers who lurked in the connect- 
ing motel room until they heard her 
signal testified at both my trials (he 
one ended in a hung jury) that she 
engaged in a Lesbian-trapping ші 
оп when I just "happened" to fall into 
her sı The people who prosecuted 
me seemed to think there was nothing 
wrong with the way 
as being us 
ation at the time the committee hired 
her; furthermore, she'd formerly dis- 
posed of one of her ex-husbands with a 
238 revolver (the court had ruled i 
fiable homi 
newspaper found it more than p 
strange that a reporter and longti 
of the committee just 

walk into a trap set for someone else. It 
commented that "Ihe ciran 
would lead any objective observer to 
conclude that the trap was indeed set for 
the newsman. . .. The fact that a com: 
mittee of the legislature was using public 
funds to hire а woman to engage in im- 
oral acts to obtain evidence fo 
known purposes is morally revolting 
ally frightening. For what purposes 
ch methods be employed? "The 
1 in the hands of unscrupulous 
persons is obvious." 

It was this sort of editorial exposure, 
widespread іп the major stue papers, 
that finally led to the abolition of the 
investigative commiuce. Unfortunately, 
my hometown paper took fewer pains 
with Ше story, it merely referred (o 
my being charged w 
iure," without bothering to mention 
that the “crime” took place with а con- 
senting adult female, rather than with a 
boy, man or goat. It doesn't take much 


ination to guess what most of the 
ives believed about mc. 


During both trials, 1 testified that if 1 
had been charged with intent to commit 
adultery or fornication, I would have 
been willing to plead guilty. But this law 
under which 1 wied, with ance 
on the connotation of queerness, tends 
to outrage people. The jury that heard 
my case was well intentioned, I guess, 
but the members were certainly not in 
tellectual giants, and one can't entircly 
о [rcc а man 
an "abor ble and de- 
Leven though this alleged 
act took place im private between con- 
senting adults and resulted in harm to 
no one. 
$o here I am today, probably the only 
man ín the world ever put on trial 
twice for allegedly having oral/genital 
contact with a consenting fcm 
then only found guilty of attempting it 
It brings to mind. the picture of a ter- 


“The sex scenes were wonderful, but 


the v 


ribly fumbling and inept sort of fellow, 
or felon, if you will, not even deft 
enough to complete this supposed cri 
inal act, 

Perhaps someday I will be able to do 
more than just say thanks to PLAYBOY. 
се my probation was terminated and 
I'm a completely free min once again, 
I've spent most of my efforts just trying 
to get back on my feet and, as much as 
possible, to forget the nightmare and the 
cflects it had on me and my family. 1 
would, incidentally, appreciate (for their 
sake more than my own) your withhold 
ing my name and address from thi 
letter, if you choose to print it. 

If I were some years younger, | mig 
be gutsicr and devote more of my life 
to fighting these outlandish and 
laws, as you are doing in ravpoy. It 
was only becuse of your efforts that 
I was able to carry my case through the 
regrettably, the Supreme 
felt there was no “substantial Federal 
question” involved and refused to hear 
the case. Most lawyers Гуе consulted 
agree that if the Court had heard the 


st of it was trash.” 


case, it would have had little choice but 
то rule the sodomy statute unconstitution- 
al. But legal battles aside, 1 do want to 
say that PLayboy’s support played a great 
part in my s I. T wish you well in 
your continued efforts to expose the hy 
pocrisy surro: 
tudes and Laws re x. Maybe my 
children’s children won't be so badly 
scarred as my children have been. 
(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


“The Playboy Forum" offers the oppor- 
tunity for an extended dialog between 
readers and editors of this publication 
on subjects and issues raised in Hugh 
М. Hefner's continuing editorial series, 
“The Playboy Philosophy." Four booklet 
reprints of “The Playboy Philosophy,” 
including installments 1-7, 8-12, 13-18 
and 19-22, ате available al 506 per book- 
let. Address all correspondence on both 
Philosophy" and "Forum" to: The 
Playboy Forum, Playboy Building, 919 М. 
Michigan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611. 


193 


ARBITRATOR 


steadily since the death of General 
de Gaulle two years ago. Senator 
"Thomas s 


PLAYBOY 


‘The Arbitrator said with а 
laugh. “Senator Thomas say, “As de lead- 
n' Republican liberal in de Senate, Ah 
is aginst dese retention camps bein’ set 
up by de Govumunt" Senator Thomas 
say. "Desc hcah retention camps, dey 
thin’ but concentra ' And 
de Senator Thoms 

The Arbitrator paged slowly through 
the first section. 

“But dey don't got nothin’ "bout de 
t dat De Arbitrator, he heal in Paris 
Dat ‘cause dey don't know he heah. Now, 
І gonna write dis Herald Tribune and 
зау. "You bettuh covuh De Arbitrator, 
baby, or you gonna go out of de bus 
ness, just like youh New York paper 
done a [ew ycars ago, yeah man. You 
bettuh write: 


DE ARBITRATOR IN PARIS TO HIT 
DE SENATOR THOMAS 

De Arbitrator (Nigger, New York) 
come to Paris ‘cause he gonna knock 
de head off de or "Thomas 
(Honkie, New York) rator 
work fo" TAR, Inc, one big Black 
Езген ization dat get its 
name from de memory of all doze 
le black boys got tarred. De In 
it pronounced in abbreviated form 
in memory of all doze white folks 
who done tell theah young'uns dat 
God, He take a big bottle of ink 
and He pour it ovah de nigger and 
dat's why de nigger, he black. 


But he stopped joking when his eycs 
caught а small squib on the entertain- 
ment page. 


JANSEY HERON TROUPE IN REHEARSAL 

The Jansey Heron Ice Ballet ar- 
rived here yesterday to begin re- 
тзайз for next week's engagement 
at the Palais des Sports. Miss Heron, 
a longtime favorite of Parisians, has 
put her troupe up at the Hôtel des 
Deux Mondes, a Left Bank hostelry. 
Miss Heron, a Negro, has not skated 
in America since the 1969 San Fran- 
cisco riots. She will skate the lead 
role in a new ballet here. 


He read the article twice, shook his 
head, tossed the paper on the floor. He'd 
not scen her for over ten years. Sudden- 
ly, he found himself wondering about 
the pictures that would go with tomor- 
row's headlines. He had по illusions 
about leaving The Ascot alive afer he 
made his hit. Since the hand grenade 
the House of Representatives, the FBI 
had taken charge of training Congres- 

194 sional bodyguards. They drew fast, and 


(continued from page 160) 


they t miss. If they got him in the 
face, like he was going to get Thomas, he 
knew no paper would print the picture. 
But if they shot bis guts out, there might 
he a picture of the upper half of his 
body. 

And if she recognized ? 

He got out of bed and carried the tray 
over to a table. If she recognized him, it 
would have to be by the picture, for the 
newspapers would not even have his 
current alias. His contact in Rome, а 
member of TAR’s political unit, had in- 
structed him to dump his fake Togolese 
passport in a sewer on Rue Pierre Ch 
ron before entering The Ascot. He would 
be without any identification when the 
police went over his dothes. He would 
eventually be identified when the desk 

k at the Georges V began to con 
nec the disappearance of the supposed 
al from the Togolese Ministry of 
Education, who had airmailed a M 
envelope to the United States, with the 
ination of Senator Thomas, and 
fied the police. The bellboy would 
remember his arrogance. Room service 
would remember he'd spoken English, 
her than the petit nègre he spoke 
when he really was playing an Afr 


as part of TAR's policy of 
nd terrify. It was important 
that white America spend a week 
why. Why Thomas? It 
that white Ame: 
spinning its eternal logical theories (all 
the time sensing that logic had become 
as obsolete as Martin Luther King)—it 


couldn't have been an American Ne- 
gro! Why, Thomas was the one man 
respected by black and white alike—be 


fore the truth was known and the white 
liberals, again robbed of their jewel, log- 
ic, began to turn, themselves, toward the 
goal of TAR, Inc. geographic separ: 

So, if she recognized him, it would. 
have to be by a picture that most likely 
would not be printed. He stood in the 
middle of the floor, undecided. She was 
the only chick he'd ever had the big 
heart for, the only person to whom he'd 
еп a part of himself before he'd met 
The Chief and given all of himself to 
TAR. His indecision lasted only a mo- 
ment. He was going to die that night. 
He walked to the phone and asked the 
desk clerk to get him the Hotel des Deux 
Mondes. 

When the voice said, “Hôtel des Deux 
Mondes" he asked for her, his hand 
tightening involuntarily on the receiver, 
but his voice calm. 

"Who's calling, pl 

“Tell her that . . . that Mr. James Lee 
Jackson is calling. 

It had been a long, long time since 
he'd given his own name. He'd traveled 
with so many passports h 
countries—eyen his Ameri 


which he'd given to his contact when 
they'd arrived in Milan, didn't have his 
real name. Among the revolutionary 
groups with which he'd worked 

a. Ghana and Venczuela, he 
Monsicur L'Arbitre or Señor El 


only 
Arbitro. 
“I'm sorry,” the voice said a moment 


later. “Mademoiselle Heron has already 
lelt for rehearsal, Will you leave а 
message?” 


"Where's she rehearsing’ 
‘The Palais des Sports." 

He hung up, stripped off his robe and 
went into the bathroom to shave. He 
lathered his face for five minutes, put 
a new blade in the razor. He had one 
phone call to receive, After that, he had 
nothing to do until seven o'clock. 

He'd shaved and showered and was 
taking his suit from the wardrobe when 
the phone rang. 

"Brother?" asked the voice. 

“The new day will be a sunny one, 
he replied. 

“Good. How are you? АП set?" The 
voice was indistinguishable from a white 
voice. Among the higher echelons of 
TAR. The Infilirator was one of the few 
who didn't talk black. He was special 
advisor on race relations to the President 
of the United States. 

та calm and set 

“As we knew you would be. The pro- 
gram is now confirmed and will tak 
place as planned. There will bé an О 
ental girl in your line of sight. We'd 
appreciate your skill.” 

"Don't worry.” 

“Goodbye, my friend. Your name will 
become а revered опе. 

The Arbitrator placed the receiver 
back in its cradle. The Infiltrator had 
always been above suspicion in the white 
аисгасу. He'd Jost an eye in а beat- 
nged by The Chief to ensure hi 
Uncle Tom reputation among the radi- 
cals, his moderate reputation among the 
Washington bigwigs. The smoked.gl 
lens in The Infiltrator’s glasses was а 
daily reminder to the President of his 
loyalty. It was also a reminder of his 
sacrifice for TAR, but only four people 
knew that. Now, accompanying Senator 
Thomas, he'd arranged the biggest hit to 
date, the assassination of the one man 
who moderate blacks and whites alike 
thought could put the country back to- 
gether. The Arbitrator thought of the 
Oriental girl and smiled. The liberal 
tor from New York would not rcal- 
plan for some liberal lovemaking 


The Arbitrator his hands over the 
cloth of the 1000-franc suit he'd bought 
at The Red and Black the day before. He 
loved good cloth. When he entered The 
Ascot, he'd be taken for a wealthy Afri- 
can, all tailored in European threads. The 
summer before he'd gone to Stanford, 
he'd unloaded crates at the Washington 
Market to buy a Brooks Brothers suit. 


“Perhaps you're looking for something 
in our three-forty-six linc?" the salesman 
һай murmured discreetly. 

“I guess so," he'd answered, confused. 

“Ies, аһ, more in your, ah, bracket,” 
the salesman had confided with a wink 

He'd bought the suit at Macy's. instead. 

“Humiliation, my Whitey friends, reaps 
undesired rewards,” he said aloud, as he 
shoved the wardrobe away from the wall 
He took the holster from the magnetic 
attachment, pushed the wardrobe back 
into position. He had designed the hol- 
ster himself, just as he had designed the 
magnetic attachment. It fitted against the 
small of his back, two inches above his 
right buttock. He'd designed it for maxi- 
mum concealment, not for a fist draw. 
He adjusted the strap, buckled it. He 
didn’t bother to check the revolver. Hed 
broken her down, oiled her, wiped her 
dean the night before. Each bullet in 
the cylinder had almost enough power to 
tear a man's head off. 

After knotting his tie, he opened Ше 
suit jacket on the bed. He slid his wallet 
into the jacket’s left inside breast pocket, 
his passport into the right. He slipped 
оп the jacket and buttoned it. With both 
the wallet and the passport so readily 
available, he'd have no need to unbutton 
the jacket again. Even when he drew the 
pistol, he'd come up under the jacket's 
back flap, Bodyguards watched for shoul- 


der holsters. He was too professional to 
use one 

He went into the bathroom, methodi- 
cally arranged his shaving brush, cream 
and razor on the shelf. He glanced about 
the room. Nine pages of yellow paper 
filled with neat, ballpoint print lay be- 
side an addressed Manila envelope on 
the desk. He went to the desk. reread the 
second paragraph of the first page: 


History has many examples of 
men willing to sacrifice. themselves 
for a cause, Those who die for reli 
gion are called saints and martyrs: 
those who dic for leve, heroes and 
tragic fools. We who will die for the 
dream of a new state and cconomic 
justice are called leaders of the 
masses and revolutionaries. Perhaps 
the most noble revolutionary is the 
assassin, Though usually not livin 
to see the fruition of his beliefs, he 
changes history with a single move- 
ment ol his finger. He is the neces- 
sary instrument of change, the tool 
that changes the functioning of the 
machine. He uses his life that his 
leaders may use their minds. 


He put the pages in the envelope and 
sealed it, He checked the room a final 
time, then shut the door behind him, the 
envelope in his hand, 

In the lobby, he gave the envelope to 
the desk clerk and impressed upon him 


the necessity of airmailing it to America 
immediately. He leaned across the count- 
cr and gave the clerk an appreciative 
slap on the shoulder. receiving with a 
smile the clerk's disdainful stare. The 
clerk would remember him. Then he 
walked out to Avenue Georges V. 

He stood for a moment, looking up 
and down the avenue, trying to remem- 
of the Palais des Sports 
ith his B.S. in math from St 
ford. hed gotten an R. O. T.C. commis- 
sion; and, in that time when he'd bee 
sure he'd crack Whiteys world, he'd 
served two years in France аз a demoli- 
tion expert with the Air Fore at 
Evreux; but now, for the life of him, he 
couldn't remember where the Palais des 
Sports was. 

Because, he thought with a prin, the 
ошу sporting I ever did was around the 
Opéra and Pigalle. 

He walked over to а taxi, dimbed in 
and told the driver to take him to the 
Palais des Sports. In the back seat, uying 
to imagine the way she would greet him 
he had a moment of une ‚ Maybe 
she'd refuse to talk to him. Or tum him 
off with the quiet sarcasm she used on 
Whitey when Whitey got too white. The 
thing about Janscy—she always made 
Whitey step over the fence into her 
world before she'd do battle with him. 
She seldom lost. 

She'd been a freshman his junior year 


No other distiller makes his whiskey 
the same way we make Seagram's 7 Crown. 
So no other whiskey has the same 


smooth taste. 


Or the same consistently fine quality. 


And guess what. 


No other brand of whiskey is 


asked for as often as 7 Crown. 
It figures, doesn't it? 
Say Seagram's and Be Sure. 


Seagram Distillers Co., N.Y.C. Blended Whiskey. 


86 Proof. 65% Grain Neutral Spirits. 


195 


at Stanford, had dropped out after her 
sophomore year to become America’s first 
Negro figure skater in the Olympics. And 
although she'd not won a medal, she'd. 
gained enough publicity to turn pro 
and go out on her own. They'd followed 
ich other for a while, had spent a glori- 
ous two weeks his last year at Evreux, her 
first time in Paris, and marriage had 
seemed their future scenc. 

Until he'd been discharged and run 
up against Whitey in New York. 

Until he'd been discharged and slowly 
realized that he wasn't going to crack 
Whitey's world, even though he thought 
hed already done so at Stanford and 
the Service. He learned, painfully, th 
getting good marks at Stanford and get- 
ting leuers of commendation in the Serv- 
ice didn't have much to do with the 
white world of finance, the world to 
which he'd expected admission, for the 
simple reason that he was better qu: 
fied—on his résumé—than most of hi 
white friends. When t i 
finally jelled, he was left with nothing 
but his own blackness. And after he met 
ief, his blackness became every- 


PLAYBOY 


After he'd met The Chief, he'd written 
her im Tokyo, where she was on tour 
He'd put it bluntly. Her troupe was 
integrated; she didnt dig the new day. 
re plans do not include a bla 
bourgeois wile.” he'd wrine 

He hadn't seen her again. 

He paid the driver, walked up the 
steps of the Palais des Sports, entered. 
Below him. past ће rows of empty seats, 
a honkie and two black chicks swept 
cross the ice, Two other honkie chicks 
sat at the edge of the rink, un 
their skates. He looked at his watch. It 
12:30. They'd be breaking for lunch. 

He stood for a moment, looking down 
at the ice. The honkie chick and one of 
the black ones skated over to a be 
Jansey was alone on the ice. Her w 
ater was speckled with red; her red 
t rose rhythmically to reveal red 
panties, then floated down like a collaps- 
ing parachute to cover her thighs, as her 
hips switched her gracefully toward 
greater speed. As he began down 


toward the rink’s edge, he had an instant 
of dizziness ul de him grab the arm 
of a seat, He n ered the incredibly 


smooth skin of her stomach against his 
cheek, the light, exquisite touch of her 
lingers moving through his hair. He had 
not thought of such things for years. Не 
sighed and hardened his hear 
he put his hands on th 
ng, she was moving faster, her 
masked in concentration. The ice mur- 
mured under her cold. slicing blades, as 
she went into a flying sit spin. came out 
of it, scemed to flow upright, her arms 
196 extended, the grace of a black crane 


er, the strokes of 
ndividual move- 
ments but a blur of speed and power as 
she went into а double axel, grace chang- 
ing to the elegance of perfection, and 
then she eased into a regular spin, doing 
the most difficult, the double axel, in the 
middle, so she did not appear to be 
building toward any special climax but 
merely slashing the ice into servitude 
with the mastery of her blades. Out of 
the spin, she began to circle the rink. 

When she saw him, she did not change 
pace. She went by him once, meeting his 
eyes; she seemed to soar again as she 
circled the rink, and then she came to 
where he was standing, checking her 
Might with a quick twist of he 
that sent glittering flakes of ice spraying 
ast the sideboards. 
you like this city, James Lee? Seems 
I've seen you here before.” 

As if they'd parted only the day before. 
lways Keep jour cool, don’t you, 


‘Its my constant proximity to the ісе, 
honey. You're looking well. 
king it, 


you not working for no ІВМ, 
` But there was a м 
nd no hostility in her 
and he remembered. that this was 


He grinned 

honey. What are you doit 
2 Did you come all the way over 
just to watch lite old me 

“Why else?” 

She laughed, a throaty, full laugh that 
reminded him of a time they had had 
lobster and two bottles of a blanc de 
blancs near the Gare azare and 
she'd laughed the same 

"I'm going to take off my skates and 
go change, James Lee. Will you be here 
when I come back? 

Lunch?" he asked. 

“But not much. Гус turned 
weight watcher. 

He stayed, leaning against the rink, 
while she unlaced her skates. But when 
she disappeared i 
he stepped. back 
where behind his forehead, the: 
һе. He put his hand on his coat, above 
his right buttock, and slowly massaged 
the bulge there until the ache in his 
head went away. 

When she returned, she wore a white 
linen jacket over a red print dress. Her 
eyes were clear, playful. He'd forgotte 
how really gorgeous she was. She took 1 
arm. 


into a 


“There's a nice place close by, where 
we can have a bite. I'm on steak and 
salad. But they have a marvelous со- 


quille St. Jacques. You still cat the way 
you used to, James Lee? 


"When Fm in America, I eat black- 
eyed peas and chitterlngs" he sa 
pointedly 

She rolled her cyes 
food, brother? 
Soul food, sister." But he felt guilty 
saying it like that, as if he were making 
light with The Cause. She gave off a 
intense gaiety that prevented him fom 
being solemn, cven when he tried. 

‘You're going to have 10 eat some- 
thing different today. I don't think Mon- 
sicur Pierre has even heard of black-eyed 
peas. Now, tell me, Mr. Phi Bete. What- 
ever became of that nice Stanford m 
matician?’ 

Her refusal to talk seriously i 
him. 

“Whitey put him down, 
puts down all darkies with a degree. He 
came out of the Air Force with four 
letters of commendation. But you know 
that. 


р at him, 


just like he 


ber he had a yearning 10 be 
the first Negro executive at IBM. He was 
going to break the ficld open. The Jackie 
Robinson of computers. That's what he 
wanted to b 
“Yeah,” he said bitterly. “Whitey 
trained me well. So I made the rounds. 
IBM was only the first of many. We like 
you, Mx. Jackson. We like you. But since 
you insist on meeting the public, we 
have no place for you right now. I'm 
sure а тап of your sensitvity can under- 
stand about our Southern accounts. We'd 
be happy lo bring you along, if you'll 
мау out of sight. The time surely can’t 
be far off when the public will be ready 
for Negro executives. But that time isn't. 
now. If you don't want what we offer, all 
I cam say is come back in a few years. 
Honkie executive don’t give you no dou- 
ble talk. 
"But you didn't go back. And now they 
must have twenty colored executives. 
Y he snapped. "Execu 
to the President. I dii 
cause after twenty-odd years, 1 fou 
who I was. A black black.” 
She took his hand, led him 
the restaurant to a table in the bà 
“Does your hate prevent you 
pulling out a lady's chair for her?" 
isked softly 
About to 
beside her, pulled out the ch 
beautiful suit, J 
t do you do that you 
beautiful suits?” 
bitration.” 


ve Toms 
be- 


from 
she 


down, he moved quickly 


ics Lee. 
buy such 


he said, watching 
her carefully. 
“I sce. Did you стег... mi 


Vo," he said, He wondered if she h; 


some reason for not questioning him 
further about his work 
“That's too bad. You were a beautif 


would have made some wor 
рру. There was so much of 


lover. Yo 
an very ha 


“What the hell, let him look. Most of ту paintings are 
for the man in the street anyway.” 


197 


PLAYBOY 


198 


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you that wanted love. There was so 
much of you that wanted to give yourself 
to someone. There was so much of you 
that wanted so much, 

"I never got what I wanted. Whitey 
saw to that. That's how Whitey doos it, 
baby. He accustoms you to caviar and 
then, when the chips are down, he offers 
you a hot dog. He builds you up till you 
think you're a m nd then he саз 
trates you." 

Her big сус stared at 
made no comment. His words 
he heard their echo, 


п, but she 
in the 
detected 
g at 


silence; 


ything to make her s 
ke him lose the feeling that he was 
at fault. Yet, glancing at her quickly. he 
saw her eyes were not accusing him. 

Why, yes. I married. 1 little 
boy. Didn't you know? Where were you 
in 19692 Tt was in all the papers.” 

1969. Three years ago. He'd been in 


Venezuela, He'd hit eight me 
Castro had asked to meet | 
him his work had brought down the 


oment two years ahead of schedule, 
out of the country that yea 
he said. “You mean all the papers gave it 
a big splash because you had а kid? 
What were the headlines? ‘SKATING NIG- 
GER UREEDS' 2" 

She shook her head; her eyes remained 
calm. "]t wasn 1 а boy, 
James Lee. It was because he died, He 
and my husband were shot to death. The 


read 


y didn't 
much about them. By the time I got 
back to America, it was New Orleans. I 
emember the Marines used hand gre- 
nades in Frisco.” 

"They did, indeed, James Lee. 
boy aud шу husb: 
TAR snipers." 

“TAR snipers? What kind of loose 
talk is that? How do you know they 
were TAR?” 

"I know. And I know they didn't do it 
on purpose. Our apartment wasn’t in the 
ghetto. But they did it just the same. 

He felt his strength, his certainty of 
purpose, flood through him. He leaned 
ss the table, reached out, took her 


But my 


hand. 

"Wi 1 got to make sacr an- 
sey. There's a new day coming. A day 
when blacks will rule blacks, when 


Whitey finally gets desperate and sur 
ders part of our country to us. I know 


hard, baby, but the new is closer 
than you think. And when we make it, it 
will really be the new day. That's what 


TAR is fighting for. Your boy and your 
husband died like all our martyrs—so 
that one day we can live in freedom, like 
man was meant to liv 


“I've heard that before, James Lee.” 
Her eyes looked beyond him. "Му brother 
died in Vietnam. Fighting for a new day 
for the South Vietnamese. People who 
want power are always promising new 
days to their followers. But too many 
of the followers don't live to sce the 
dawn. Let's not talk about it anymore. 
James Lec. I left America in Sixty-nine. 
I've never gone back. You see, our revolu- 
tionaries rejected everything about the 
white man except his capacity to abuse 
power. I don't care for power, 
Lec. It’s easier here in Europe. Nobody 
has to live up to the cowboy tradition, 
All these countries are small and tired, 
without hair on their chests, They know 
they can't have big power anymore. So 
they're а little more human—by default, 
maybe. Tell me about your mediation. 
What are you mediating? And why do 
you come to Europe to mediate? 

"No. Jansey.” he said, twisting the 
vy silver ring he wore on his right 
fourth finger. “Arbitrate. When you me- 
diate, both parties must 
trator has the 
the final dec cn as he used the 
word “power.” he knew he should have 
used another word, It merely supported 
her point. And her point was false. 

"So" she said, and she said it with 
sorrow and sympathy, her eyes shutting, 


opening, shutting, opening. as if she'd 
been stabbed by a migraine. "so that 
must make you The Arbitrator, James 


Lee Jackson. The Arbitrator 

He smiled with the full power of his 
fame, Even she, an expatriate, had heard 
of him. Yet, a moment later, he felt his 
power wane. There was a softness about 
her that decayed his strength, а softness 
that had never failed to fascinate him. 
The way he'd been fascinated by a viper 


Boumedienne had kept in a cage. He 
ware that his hand was in hers, 


became 
she was squeezing it, 

"James Lec," she said. "I remember 
how you used 10 go to the chapel services 
anford. You'd always bug me ‘cause 
I didn't have reli Il don't. But I 
remember that Christ had a few strikes 
against him. He was one boy out there 
alone in the desert, with no rifles and. 
the whole big establishment 
And he made it. He made it by choosing 
mediation. The Mediator. Let's you and I 
mediate, James Lee. Let's have a bottle of 
champagne and mediate. Because the 
James Lee Jackson I knew would 
have been a great mediator. He would 
have had a kind of greatness The Arbi- 
trator doesn’t have. And then we'll have 
another bottle of champagne and mediate 
a little more.” She stood. “I have to make 
a phone call, James Lee. You wait for 
me here. You wait for me like you didn't 
t for me when I м: 'okyo, w: 


at 


ast hi 


ing to finish up and come home to you 
in New York oh, oh so many years ago." 
She leaned across the table, brought the 
аск of his hand to her lips, then w 
to the stairs that led down to the tele 
phone and the rest rooms. 

Far «сер in him, a part long encased 
and guarded by the discipline of The 
Cause quivered slightly, threatened. to 
break into that empty place in his chest 
he was sometimes aware of. He brought 
his part of himself 
he closed his eyes and he clenched his 
al effort, he put 
things back in order. He knew now why 
he'd taken the taxi out here. He'd come 
seeing her would change any- 
ng. But what she had to offer was soft, 
soft like a sponge that absorbed a man's 
ideals and his courage. What he had 
wed was а word of solace because he 
was going to die. What he had wanted 
was to feel for а moment that he was 
loved by a single human, instead of 
respected by the members of TAR. Ii 

vas an understandable need but an in 
alid on 
He stood, dropped 100 francs on the 
table and left the restaurant. [t was a 
breezy, sunny Paris afternoon, and 
would take him two hours to walk back 
to the Champs. He would walk it be- 
se he loved breezy, sunny afternoons 
and because once he'd loved Paris and 
once he'd been in love in Paris. Funny 
about her bringing up Christ. He saw 
what she'd been trying to do, and he 
wondered. But then he laughed, stroking 
that place, that hard place, above his 
right buttock. 

Wondering now is like that story of 
Christ, he thought. Christ, with all his 
life behind him, climbing Calvary. 
lurching under the weight of the cross, 


2 


turning to а beggar by the roadside and. 


p: “Say, fella. You think I'm doing 
the right thing, don't you?” But Christ 
hadn't done that any more Шап he was 
wondering now. He guessed Ch 


tration. 
1 proved Christ wrong. Now, with a 
new hope before his people, the hope of 
their own country, it was time to learn 
from Christ's mistakes. 

When he got to the Champs, he would 
sit at a sidewalk café and read а newspa- 
per until it was time. Once more, he 
moved his hand behind him and felt the 
compact form of the revolver. It had a 
short barrel, and he would € to be 
very close to his man to render his 
decision. 

But he was an expert shot, and in the 
holster the instrument of his great- 
ness, the voice of The Arbitrator, the 
thing that gave him the absolute power 
to make the final decision. 


199 


PLAYBOY 


200 


BAITING SOCIETY continued pon page 114) 


against words may appear as mere liter- 
ature; but then, what they are really 
shrugging off is literature itself, which 
they cannot do without admiuing that 
they haye capitulated in their relation- 
ship with spiritual values and that those 
values arc in the process of rotting in 
the vast Marxist and non-Marxist ceme- 
tery of "cultu It is characteristic 
that the leaders of the Paris revolt and 
most of the rank and file were students 
of literature and philosophy. Unques- 
tionably, the revolution had 
the very dynamics of all artistic creatio 
the need for selGexpression under the 
onslaught, baiting and pressures by our 
unacceptable reality. All art and litera- 


ture is an answer to the taunting or 
challenge by reality. All craving for jus- 
tice is an artistic pursuit, a craving for 
beauty and harmony. Frustration and 
inability to change the real world can 
lead both to violence and to artistic cre- 
ation. This age will probably see more 
music, art and ure—and more 
young people, talented or not, devoted 
to those pursuits—than any other age, 
simply because there is no other way 
out From thc fu i 


aggression against reality, from the the- 
atrical Happening to the students’ riots 
in the streets, the means of self-defense 
and sell-ex pression may differ vastly, but 


the motivation is the same: a refusal to 
accept the taunting of our consciousness 
and of our consci 
environment. Psychodrama, Happening, 
Living Theater—the riots and violence 
in our citics were and will continue to 
be what art and literature have always 
been: an attempt at a rebirth, а spirit- 
al self-deansing, a deliberate alienation 
from the present-day social reality. Art 
is what is not there but should be there. 

To me, the most hopeful sign is that 
our generation of protest and of nega 
tion has outgrown national frontiers, 
races, creeds and ideologies. It’s nothing 
more than one great 
No! And it unites Christis 
ists alike. Not long ago, I stood 
midst of a crowd of Catholic 
near Notre Dame, the day after the 
Pope's ban on the contraceptive pill wa 
announced. As I stood pushing the mike 


nce by a monstrous 


ns and athc- 
the 


actly the words I heard: 
“The contraceptive pill means the re- 
h of man. It means resurrection. It 
means the end of genocide; of genocide 
through hunger, through oppression, 
through squalor, through ignorance. It 
means the reassurance that the reborn 
Jesus will not of hunger in some 
small corner of the world. The prohibi- 
tion of the contraceptive pill is gen 

My contention is that the rea 


youth, still a vocal minority n 
through the mass media, always on the 
watch for drama. The real danger is our 
indifferent masses. The pattern of vio- 
lence is, in my view, insufficient to force 
our society toward a real change; but 
its positive aspect is that it may awaken 
some stupeficd, apathetic people. Every 
Communist and every politician h: 
always and will always speak of the 
people with sobs of emotion im their 
voice, and the people 1 
with self-righteous self-cste 
the point of no return, This passive, 
cowed, hypnotized: majori still be 
awakened from its slumber by the so- 
called violent fringe. Up to now. both in 
Soviet slaveland and deep between the 
layers of our Western fat, the people 
have refused to budge. We hear every 
day about the rioters and killers in our 
midst, about the troublemakers, but we 
never hear a word about the 95 percent 
of the population who are merely for 
law and order. The question is: what law 
and what order? The same as before and 
more of the same? Then we will soon 
need a police state to protect our goodies 


and our rights. 


CLASSIC-CAR COLLECTING 
(continued from page 108) 
I of the 


own apprai ar's worth, weight 


ed in the second place, and I think 
slightly, by what it’s worth to h 
reason. For the 
come down. Oppositely 


"s diccum 


the con mai “А sucker 


wait.” 

The Chevrolet Corvette Stingray, as 
hot a vehicle as Detroit offers today. will 
get 10 100 mph from a standstill in 14.7 
seconds. Thirty-five years ago, а Model 5) 
Duesenberg would do the same thing in 
only 2.3 seconds more, which is one 
measure of the esteem іп which the car 
held. Tt was a low-production 
by American standards, 470 units, 
J and SJ. of which more than half are 
Sill in existence, an extremely high sur- 
vival vate. 
Most of the motorcars that 
having and worth remember 
creaied by single шеп, 


re wortlt 


тааш, Birkigt, Ford. Packard. Bentley, 
Royce, Lanchester—but_ two brothers, 
the German-born Frederick and August 
Duesenberg, made the Duesenberg. 


Са 


nted, most credit goes to the domi- 
Frederick, the older. Set- 
country as children, 
they were bicyde mechanic, moved 
to motorcycles and then to automobiles 
Their first-built car was a Mason, named 
after the man who financed it. There 
wasn't a Duesenberg company until 1913. 
‘The first model was tagged А. and it w 
a superior, if unexciting car, the first 
the world to have four-wheel hyd 


brakes. ОГ the 650 A's that were made, 
only about 50) survive. The Duesenbergs 


made engines for the Government during 
the 1914-1918 War, but came into the 
peacetime boom market in thin finan 
ing was never 
her of then 
г пате was a sports 
byword (a Duesenberg, in 1921, won the 
first Grand Prix race ever for an Ameri- 
can car, and seven of the first ten places 
at the 1922 Indianapolis 500 were filled 
by Duesenbergs), they were іп money 
trouble two years later. Erret Lobban 
Cord (Auburn-Cord-Duesenberg) set them 


lest, most power- 
1 most luxurious automobile the 
we of the art would allow. Work on. 
this satisfying project, which was to cul- 
ate in the model SJ. began in 1096 
and the first customers got cars in the 
spring of 1929. 
The Model J Duesenberg of 1929 and 
the companion SJ. which appeared in 
i зде from 
occ 


$11,750 to 
lliglus 10 
were by 
domestic ne; some of 
them are worth today twice what they 
cost new, because, with the exception of 


“Good afternoon. Гт doing a survey on the 
promiscuity of the American female.” 


a very few badly bodied aberra 
are stunningly good-looking, capable of 
blistering performances by even 1969 
standards and wreathed in an incompa- 
able glamor. An umestored sedan that 
was fairly scruflytooking in my view 
changed hands for $35,000 not too many 
months ago. 1 remarked to а man who 
had dropped out of the bidding at 
000 that 1 thought he'd been right, 
that the car was overpriced. Не was not 
ve gone 510.000 if I'd 
After all, it’s a Duesen 
berg, and it's original! 

In the span of the present car boom, 
Ducsenberg prices have climbed like 
something by Picasso. The j 
sic pricing is one I find 
member selling a very decent sedan- 
са on а РІ Royce for $150), but 1 will 
bring myself to dwell on it long enough 
to зше that D. Cameron Peck of Chi- 
go, the most formidable of U.S. auto- 
philists in the 19105 and 1950s, once 
offered a seven-passenger | Duesenberg 
sedan for $375. That was in the autumn 


d while Peck’s cataloging was 
ic (“A boxcar on wheels as far 
good ci 
ti] S875 did take the саг; I won- 
der if $13,750 would tod, 

Duesenbergs more de 
thought his was—roadsters, say, and tour- 
i nd phaetons—more often found 
кі 51500 20 years ago. I 
remember being unable 10 persuade a 
man who said he was in the market even 
to go look at a Model J offered for 
$2000, because it was bodied by Saout- 
ich coachmaker whose met 
beating ran to the bizarre, If it had been 
by Derham, Rollston or Hibbard & Dar- 
rin, he said, it might be worth a look. 

The Duesenberg factory originated no 
bodies, but delivered chassis to bespoke 
coachmakers, in the ancient tradition, to 
be finished to customer order; or, more 
usually. the factory bought bodies itself. 
Fourteen such firms furnished the facto- 
ry at Indianapolis with some 380 bodies 
down the yeus. Murphy of California 
did most, about 125 bodies. Others were 


201 


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Le Baron, Judkins, We 
Brunn, Dietrich. Holbrook. Bohman 
& Schwartz, Locke and La Grande. For- 
eign coachbuilders who rused bodies on 
Duesenberg chassis included Castagn 
Letourneur & Marchand, Figoni, Franay, 
Van den Plas, D'lteren Frères, Graber, 
Barker and Gurney Nutting. A Duesen 
berg could draw attention even 
palace couryad; and 
looking ar the bare chassis ($9500 for a J, 
511,750 for an SJ) made up their minds 
not to stint on material ine woods, 
leathers and fabrics were always used: 
silk, ebony and silver in one town car. 
for example. Today, Murphy roadsters 
and doublecowled phactons by various 
American makers are much sought alter 
Sometimes the extra windshield cr; 
down into the front seat back. 
sionally a rear cowl carried duplicate ir 
ents, The driver's instrumen 
complete, including a split-second 
chronograph, speedometer and tachome- 
‚ brakeline pressure gauge and four 
ghts that came on at certain milea 
Crvals: at BO miles, red to show chat 
the automatic chassis lubrication system 
ng: green to 
level of oil in the system's reservoi 
700 miles, тей for engine-oil change; at 
1400, green for battery-lluid inspection. 
The Duesenberg could not compete 
with the Rolls-Royce in the silence of its 
Boing; there was too much engine for 
that—265 to $20 horsepower—but noth- 
ing was spared to mask the brute force 
under the hood, including а mercury- 
filled vibration damper on the crank- 
shaft, and it ran very smoothly. For the 
period, the Duesenberg handled well 
and the brakes were adequate, Most 
buyers never used half its performance; 
it was a status symbol beyond compare, 
something that would, if it appeared 
today, drop a Cadillac into Volkswagen. 
nding. In fact, two attempts were 
made to revive the Duesenberg, the last 
in 1966, but both collapsed against eco- 
nomic reality, Built as the Duesenberg 
brothers did in an SJ Duesenberg 
bodied by, say, Hibbard & Darrin, would. 
have to cost $100,000 today. Frederick 
Duesenberg dicd in 1932 as the result of 
а crash in the Pennsylvani: n 
driving onc of his own cars, and his broth- 
er, August, in 1955. of a heart attack. 
As unlike Ducscnbe anything on. 
four wheels could Бе, but equally admi- 
rable as artifact and infinitely more 
blessed with originality is the Lanches- 
ter in its early, tiller-steered form. There 
were heretical Englishmen who, practi 
cally laying their heads on the block, 
argued that the Lanchester was decided- 
ly a better car than the Rolls-Royce, Per- 
haps not; although in the 1900s, there 
мее known connoisseurs, including 
people in the royal houschold, who did 
prefer ichesters to “Тһе Best Car in 
the World.” In any case, it was an extraor- 
dinary vehicle; even today, a Lanchester 


a 
coachbuilders, 


moun 


is most pleasant to drive—quiet, nimble 
and vibration-ree; in its own time, it 
must have seemed a miracle, Like the 
Duesenberg, it was born of a brother 
act: There were three Lanchesters, Fred- 
erick, George and Frank, with Frederick 
dominant. Frederick Lanchester was а 
kind of Renaissance man. universally 
accomplished. А practical engincer of the 
highest order, an inventor and innova- 
tor, he was a musician as well, а poct, 
a physicist, an aeronautical researcher, 
Builder, in 1895, of one of the carlics 
fine motorcars, he was publishing pa- 
pers, four decades later, on jet propul 
sion and relativity, He was probably a 
genius, and like many geniuses, he lived 
a long time, to be 78 and laden with 
honors, but fewer than he de 

Similarly, his brother George: 
¢ the first Lanchester car had 
been destroyed in a German air raid at 
Coventry, George Lanchester, at 83, and 
from memory, built а muscum-quality 
model of it. 

"The Lanchester was so far ahead of its 
time that much of it was reinvented, 
years and years later, and credited to 
Other names. First use of the disk brake 
usually, and wholly crroncously, as- 
signed to race cars and more correctly 
to airplanes, but indisputably, F. W. 
Lanchester had caliper-type disk brakes 
on his сау before racecar designers 
knew how to stop their front wheels and 
long before pilots could sce any point 
in brakes at all. 

Elegant was the word for the Lanches 
ier. The first ones had wwo-cylinder en- 
gines. As a rule, an automobile powered 
by a twocylinder engine 
vibrating half a city block 
Lanchester's ran like a sewing machine: 
Through a tour de force of sheer intel- 
lect, he had harnessed the cyl 
а system of six connecting rods and two 
crankshafts. instead of the two reds and 
onc crank that were usual. The result 
was a canceling out and containment of 
the violent out-of-phase poundings i 
herent in the engine. Originality and 
intelligence shone through the design 
everywhere: For instance, Lanchester 
dimensioned the car to place the driver's 
eyes at what would be the average level 
for a walking man, so that movement and 
direction would not seem stra 
er rose at the d ight side, the 
curved to fit the body, 
weighted, dynamically balanced, m 
steering into a driveway as natural 
pointing the hand at it. Drivers who be- 
came well used to Lanchester tiller steer- 
ing much preferred it to the wheel system. 
Lanchester never came up with a Scotch- 
tape-and-string solution to a problem, һе 
worked in basics. When the owners of the 
ordinary car expected to grind the valves 
every couple of hundred miles, Lanches- 
ter’s beautifully simple cooling system 
would let his go for 4000; the spark 


iver's 


plugs could be adjusted with the engine 
running; oiling was automatic; his 
system carburetor was indifferent to the 
dirty or mixed-strength gasoline of the 
day; the engine housing was between 
the two front seats, with all the hand 
controls mounted on a console over it, 
n arrangement that gave good balance 
to the car, amd hung no weight out 
beyond the axles; the chassis frame was 
igid and the suspension flexible—put- 
к one wheel on a foothigh block had 
no effect on the other three—with the 
resultant. superb the entire body 
could be removed іп five minutes with- 
out tools, and so on and on. 

Lanchesters had a remarkably squared 
and balanced look, seeming 
be firmly placed on the road, particular- 
ly эсеп head on, when the radi: 
the water-cooled models, looked almost 
exactly twice as wide as it was high. 
(There was no need to unscrew the cap 
and peer into the hole to see if the 
water was up, by the way: Lanchesters 
had round glass-framed ports cut through 
the radiator shell for that purpose.) The 
cas were as stable as they looked, and 
because of this sure-footed way of going, 
and the quick steering available through 
the tiller system, they were casy to man. 
age in the dreaded sideslip, or skid. Eng- 
lish roads іп the 1900s, often of stone 
or wood block and, of course, often wet 
and well dressed with horse manure, 


were wickedly slippery, and the versatile 
Dr. F. W. Lanchester included іп the 
owners manual that came with the car 


instructions on how to handle a skid, how 
to induce one for practice and even how 
to do а 180-degree spin in the width of 
n ordinary road, а useful maneuver that 
is not easy іп most modern cars—small 
front-whecldrive types excepted. 

Like most men of their turn of mind, 
the Landi brothers were пог bril- 
liant in business and they soon found 
themselves harnessed to play it-safe boards 
of directors who were frightened by origi 
nality and believed that the proven way 
was always the profitable way. In the 
Lanchesters’ pr ation, 
Frederick was design assistant 
designer and production m 
But the company h: 
atly funded 
was dironically in a short cash posi 
tion, despite ап excellent product and 
devoted customers, and in 1904, it went 
through a forced reorganization, in the 
course of which most of the Lanchesters? 


Around 1914, the Lanchester began to 
look more like other motorcars, with the 
engine out in front and wheel steering, 
(The tiller had been optional since 1907 
and was dropped in 1900; it was grcat 
for a light car but didn't have enough 
leverage for a big one) The 1919 


model, a remarkably lithe-loo! 
was a notable success and the 
pensive car in the London 
that year, at about 515000 (pa 
because the interior walls 
ing were of burr walnut, with an elabo- 
rate leafandflower pattern inlaid in 
lighter woods). This was on the 40- 


horsepower long-wheelbase chassis, also 
the base for a really startling motorcar 
built to the order of the Maharaja of 
Alwar. The driving seat was completely 
open—no doors, roof, windshield, body 
sides, nothing: behind it an open 


landau coach body, looking exactly as if 
horse-drawn 
ge, and suspended on fully ex- 
posed, curved, sled-runner springs, just as 
early coaches were. Upholstery was im 
blue silk and hardware in gold. 

The last of the "real" Lanchesters 


after that, and another reorgani 
the Lanchester name was tacked onto a 
cheap Daimler, 

The two-cylinder Lanchester remains 
an authentic marvel mark 
in the history of the automo! 
a true original, owing practically noth- 


ing to anything that had gone before it. 

Lanchesters rarely appear on the m. 
ket today. The biggest collection is in 
the hands of a Briton, the primary au- 
thority on the Francis Hutton- 
Stout. One major American collector told 
me he would cheerfully pay $15,000 for a 
tiller-steered Lanchester in good to fine 
order. 

A couple of years after the last Lan- 
chester Lanchester appeared, another tal- 
ented and unlucky Englishman, W. О. 
Bentley, announced his version of the 
very fast luxury touring automobile. The 
8liter Bentley chassis alone cost 59000, 
the complete car could go over £3000, or 
something like $30,000 in today's money. 
Tt would seem that, with the 1930-1931 
Depression in full crunch, Bentley could 
not possibly һауе chosen a worse time, 
but 100 titers were made and sold 
without extraordinary difhculty. Most of 
them still exist—huge brooding monsters 
from another age, a period that seems as 
remote as the Jurassic. 

Ettore Bugatti, who thought himself a 
figure of elegance, and was, and a wi 

and wasn't, said of Bentley, “He builds 
the fastest trucks in the world.” Others 


“I dig you part of the way, but I still think that 
Anaconda Steel shows better long-term growth potential.” 


203 


PLAYBOY 


said, small wonder some parts of Bent- 
ley's cars looked like castings for а loco- 
motive, since he'd begun his working life 
an apprentice in a roundhouse and 
did a full year as a fireman the old м 
the hard way, balancing with the big 
shovel in the open lurching cab, lelt 
hand covered with a cloth against the 
firebox heat. (For supper, he wrote long 
afterward, the thing was to rub the coal 
dust off the shovel and grill lamb chops 
on it) 
Bentley left 
years (ав soon 
never hope 10 
locomotive, his friends said). He took 
the agency for some French cars, one of 
which, a tourer called Бопе: Flandrin 
et Parant, he modified so effectively that 
he began to win sportscar races іп it. 
During the Kaiser War, he developed a 
superior aluminum piston for aircraft 
engines and designed two thoroughly 
good engines, the Bentley Rotary I and 
Tl. The British government ordered 


the railroads after six 
as he found he could 
ve his own 


30.000 of these engines; but, since Bent- 
ley was unhappily signed on with the 
Royal Naval Air Service, he profited 
only insignificantly. 

With next to no money of his own, and 
the help of friends no better off, Bent- 
ley, like hordes of ex-Forces people, set 
up a motorcar-manufacturing company 
in 1919. Unlike most of the others, he 
produced a car, due to be known, in the 
fullness of time, as the immortal 3- 
and began selling it in 1! 
Bentley into actual production was а 
feat of mind over matter; the company 
didn’t have a machine shop or a foundry 
or even a drafting room in the real sense 
of the word. Outside suppliers made the 
Bentley components and the Bentley 
work force put it together. It was а good 
car, very sturdy, dependable, run by а 
high-speed overhead-cam engine that w: 
essentially а racecar engine made reli- 
able. A 3liter won the 24-Hour Race at 
Le Mans in 1924, the first of five ti 
the make was to do it 


es 


“That poor horse ...1 know exactly what 
it's going through!” 


"There were 1639 3-liter Bentleys built. 
and S00-odd survive. The 3-liter begat 
the 41liter, which begat the Blower 
Bentley, which begat the Standard Six, 
which begat the Speed Six. which begat 
the 4liter, which begat the 8-liter. They 
were all remarkable cars, big, high-riding, 
some of them hairy іп the extreme, 
all of them fast and trustworthy, except 
the 50 Blower Bentleys, supercharged 
4Veliters, which looked and sounded 
wonderful but never won anything. (Sir 
Hemy Birkin, one of the legend-wreathed 
“Bentley Boys" — gentleman-amateur dri 
ers, most of them, who campaigned the 
cars for the great fun of it—did come 
second to а Type 35 Bugatti in the 1930 
French Grand Prix. This was a consid- 
erable feat, the Bentley being a big and 
heavy road car, after all, and the Раш 
ircuit on which the race was run that 
year a twisty one) The supercharger. 
mounted in front of the radiator, was 
huge and produced 110 extra horse 
power, of which it needed 35 to run 
itself, W. О. Bentley didn't like it, and 
properly so, but it did make the blown 
4/2 the sexiesi-looking car in the 1 
and a fine one today is certainly worth 
$15,000. 

Largely because of their record at 
Le Mans, unparalleled until the Jaguars 
came along in the 1950s, the Bentleys 
grabbed the British as no car except the 
RollsRoyce has ever done. The firm 
made motorcars for only ten years, at an 
erage rate of about one a day (3061 in 
all); but the name is immortal, neverthe- 
less. Financially, the company never re 
covered from its underfunding: 
and for five years, it was kept afloat by 
one man, who pumped probably $750,000 
into it: Woolf Barnato, heir to a huge 
share of the Kimberley diamond mines. 
Barnato was a Bentley team driver. Even 
he gave up finally, and Rolls-Royce 
bought everything. 

The Biter, if it had come earlier. 
ight have saved Bentley. It was а most 
»pressive motorcar, silent, by the stand- 
ards of the time, at 100 miles ап hour, 
and putting out so much torque that it 
would run in high year from 6 to 104 
mph. W. O. Bentley said, 
1930s, I think we could have made it 
into a very good car, with a speed of at 
least 115 to 120 miles an hour, with 
silence and safety. It would have been 

teresting to carry out 0 ad I 
am sorry 1 was not allowed to.” As it 
he &litcr was so strong that it 
t really matter what kind of coach- 
work was put on it. Light fabric bodics 


wo! 


by Weymann were stylish at the time, 
and an 8-liter would fly with one of the 
Dut it could move a seven-passenger lim- 
ousine almost as fast. (The engine was a 
bigger than today's Cadillac, presently 
the biggest passenger engine in produc- 
tion anywhere.) 

W. O. Bentley has lived to see his car 
become a cult object and more, one in 


the line of cts locked into the histo- 
ry of the Empire: the longbow, the kilt, 
Big Ben, the Spitfire, the cricket bat, the 
pub and the London bobby's hard hat. 
His last work. the Biter. was handsome, 
I think, as а short-bodied [our-passenger 
coupe with a blind rear quarter, and I 
would look for one of those if I were to 
begin looking today. Found. I think it 
would take 315,000 to movc nd th 
might not move it far. Incidentally, Bent- 
ley models were to be told apart, among 
other indications, by the color of the 
enamel in thc radiator bad which 
might be green, red. black or blue, ex- 
cept for the Speed Six model, normally 
green, but optionally anything the cus- 
tomer wanted. A Bentley was thus usu 
ally known as a Red Label or a Blue 
Label or whatever, although the factory 
intensely disliked the use of the word 
label" instead of “bad In any casc, 
a proper &liter carries green enamel 
around the big black B. 

(In 1933. the Rolls-Royce label was 
changed from red to black, presumably 
in mourning for Sir Henry Royce.) 

You had to make a really big fast car 
if you count in the major 
leagues in the 19305, and Euorc Bugatti, 
as was his wont, topped everybody with 
a thing that might have been called a 
I5-liter Bugatti if he hadn't chosen to 
call it a Type 41, or the Bugatti Royale. 
It was The End in almost every dimen- 


were to 


sion and every particular—sheer bigness 
(seven feet from radiator to windshield, 
for example). price ($20,000 for the bare 
chassis), guarantee (for life), and so on. 
Ettore Bugatti was a superlatively skill- 
ful image projector, and the Type 41, 
the Golden Bug, as the British called it, 
was probably his master stroke. Hugh 
Сопу ti authority, 
thinks it possibly (he most fantastic auto- 
mobile ever. Only six were built. 

Shortly after the War. ап English Bu- 
gattiste who had a 41 with a sedan body 
asked me if I could sell it for him. I 
circularived the entire membership of 
the Sports Саг Club of America without 
finding anyone who would get up 55000 
for it. That car is certainly worth $50,000 
today, but 1 doubt that an offer of twice 
that would move it, Because the number 
of 415 built is positively known, there's 
no chance that а "los" Royale will tura. 
up: the six are all held in permanent 
collections here and abroad (the Harrah 
Collection in Reno, the biggest and best 
in the world, has two), and so it seems 
hardly fair to include the car in а sug- 
gested collection. however hypothetical. 
Tt could happen. but it’s a 100-to-1 shot 
at the moment. That doesn't mean that 
а new collector can't aspire to a Bugatti. 
M. Bugatti did make berween 6000 and 
7500 automobiles, and at least 1500 of 
them still exist. They exist in wide varicty 
—some 50 models—because their creator 


was а restless, volatile, experimenting 
Kind of man. He just may have bcc 
too, the most interesting individual ever 
concerned with auto making. 

Ецоге Bugatti was an I 
lived nearly all his life in Fı 
was one of a kind, greatly 
tive, proud, unswervingly 
indifferent to any opinion but his own, 
amused, aristocratic, ical, prof- 
ligate, a connoisseur, a gourmet, a bon 
vivant. Не died in 1917. after 66 years of 
life full of creation and drama. Bugatti 
was a moody man, imperious and egois- 
tic. His father was a silversmith, a cabi- 
neunaker and furniture designer, and 
Ettore Bugatti had intended to be an 
artist; but he decided, before he was out 
of his teens, that his brother, Rem- 
brandt. had a superior talent: willingly 
to be second best was not his way, so 
he chose another métier. He was right 
about Rembrandt, who was, indeed, re- 
markably gifted. He was a sculptor, best 
known for animals. In 1966, a London 
gallery exhibited 21 of his bronzes, most 
of them sold the first day. Rembrandt 
Bugatti died young. a suicide. 

Ettore Bugatti had designed and built 
cars before he was 21; and by 1910, he 
had а factory іп Alsace Lorraine. He 
built five automobiles that year, and it 
can truly be said that except for a very 
short period in the 1940s, the Bugatti has 


alian who 
nce. He 
ified, inve: 
lependent, 


Tiesto. ie. fretum, ueniens аш 


ruling, tevent Kawula, Fiices anu speciicetions suo[ect ro crarge witout notice. 


Datsun/2 Door—a groovin’, movin’ machine! 
Neat looks. Underneath, more sophisticated 
stuff than a lot of $6000 types. Fully inde- 
pendent rear suspension for great handling. 
Sure-stopping front disc brakes. An over- 
head cam 96 HP mill that gets 25 miles- 
per-gallon. Inside—flow-thru fresh air. Cool! 
You'll love Datsun/2. Just $1896* with a 
stireasy 4-speed, buckets, whitewalls and 


` wji 


чэ FURIUS 


other no-cost extras. Car illustrated has 
dealer-installed extra-cost vinyl top, special 
wheels, racing stripes—fun flowers that 
grow on you! The Sound Move is to Datsu 
М 


been in demand from that day to 
Bugatti’s racing cars, his Grand Prix cars, 
were originals and, in some ways, the 
greatest of their time; his sports cars set 
standards that other makes were years in 
cqualing. He was eclectic in design: tiny 
battery-driven child's cars, 110-mph open 
four-seatcrs, Ише leather-bodied. coupes, 
touring limousines, race cars, town 
ars—all carried the 31-inch red-and- 
white Bugatti radiator badge. He made 
other things, too: boats, trains, airplane 
engines. 

Closest to the Royale is generally held 
to be the Type 46. It was one of Bugat- 
11% own favorites. Between 350 and 500 
of them were de; and although the 
model was introduced іп 1929, Bugatti 
kept protracted production. It was 
possible to buy a new 46 up to the 
outbreak of the Hitler War in 1939 and, 
indeed, even afterward; at least one and. 
possibly four unused chassis, оле of them 
crated, survived the shooting. 

The 46 ran an 8cylinder engine, 5.3 
liters (318 cubic inches) Тһе 12-foot 
wheelbase was designed to accommodate 
heavy, luxurious coachwork. 1t would do 
this with élan, offering a ride that was, 
by the standards of the time, more than 
rdinarily comfortable, with road hold. 
ing and steering at Bugatti levels, then 
the highest in the world, and а top speed 
around 95. There was опе difliculty not- 
ed by a few owners. As in the Royale, 
the Type 46 transmission is on the rear 
axle, which ns that the drive shaft 
spins at engine spee nd in the Type 
46, it had a tendency to vibrate a bit, 
French coachmakers, particularly Letou 
mcur сі Marchand and Million-Guict, 
erecied some splendid big, boxy gentle. 
man's coupes on the 46 chi 
ly huge leather trunks, bound 
with thick straps and brass buckles. 

In 1031, а Type 468 was offered, 
identical with the 1929 car except for 
a small Rootstype supercharger that 
smoothed out the engine noticeably and 
gave it some here were fewer 
4655, they cos the straight 46у 
and are consequently more desirable. I 
should very much like to hear of one at 
a па $7500, 

Another avenue of assault on the big, 
fast luxury car was Abner Doble 
Doble reminds one of Bugatt 
imperious, arrogant, aristocratic, obsessed 
with the attainment of ui ble 
perfection and, like Bugatti, he had first 
intended being an artist, a concert pian- 
ist. There is a fixed law at work here; 
almost every automobile that is rated 
today as an imperishable classic, supreme 
in beauty or function or both, was cre- 
ated by a man of notable intelligence, 
sophistication, eccentricity and civilit 
who was not motivated by money-making. 

After he had abandoned pianism and 
the ambition that succecded it, surgery, 

205 and had been schooled in engineering 


PLAYBOY 


me 


at the Massachusetts Institute of Tech- 
nology, Doble raised $500,000 and set up 
shop in Waltham. М 

built good steam automobiles, 
of them, but they were really only design 
exercises for his masterwork, the Models 
E and F Doble he built in Califo 
after his renun there (һе was bom in 
San Francisco) in 1920. Between then, 
when he set up а new company with his 
brothers John, Warren and William, and 
1932, Doble made 24 steamers. These 
were the best steam automobiles we have 
so far seen. Earlier steamers һай been 
dragged down by nuisance problems. It 
took 30 minutes of long, involved proce- 
dure and a blowtorch to start some of 
them. To shorten getaway time, it was 


usual to leave a pilot light burning un 
der the boiler; this annoyed age 
proprietors and ferryboat captains, and 


п some jurisdictions there were 
against it. The steam automobile engine 
could boil away 25 gallons of water sur- 
prisingly quickly, and it 1 to 
сапу a length of garden hose, in са 
there was nothing handier than a pond 
or a horse trough. when the tank went 
dry. Steamers like the famous Stanley 
would go very quickly, indeed, but only 
for a short distance, because the boilers 
couldn't make enough steam fast enough, 

Standing outdoors in the dead of a 
Minneapolis winter, a Doble would start 
and move а 22 seconds after the 
switch had been flipped; most 1969s 
won't do a lot better. The Doble carried 
a steam condenser where the gasoline car 
had its radiator; enough of the water 
that went through the boiler те- 
covered to make 30 gallons last for 750 
miles. It was fast enough: 95-plus mph. 
Like all steama the Doble was nearly 
silent, had ferocious accelei (a 
steam engine delivers maximum torque 
the instant the throttle is opened) and 
would climb the side of a house, if the 
wheels didn’t slip. Writer Griffith Borge: 
son, who lived near the Doble factory in 
neryville, Califor recalls a hill fa- 
vored by the firm's test drivers. It was 
two miles long and steep: rising one foot 
in four. Gasoline cars had to rush it 
Aatout and суеп then might not sec the 
top; the Dobles could start at the bottom 
from a standstil whistle on up, 
accelerating to the point of wheelspin, if 
they felt like it. 

Specifying material, components and 
work ship for his car, Doble named 
nothing but the best. He used chrome- 
nickel steel for chassis members, his ma- 
chining was to the highest standards and 
he liked steering wheels of ebony and 
nickel silver. Doble's standards and his 
limited production necessarily imposed 
high prices: $8000 and up—up to 
$11,200. There are 15 E Dobles known at 
the moment; prices as high as $15,000 
have been asked for unrestored, modified 
examples carrying nonoriginal parts. 
Doble Steam Motors went under in 


the 1932 Depression, but Doble was con- 
cemed with steam almost to his death in 
1961. Ten years before that, the Me 
Culloch company (chain saws, supercharz: 
ers) had mounted a serious and heavily 
financed approach to the steam automo- 
bile, with Doble leading, but it 
abandoned far short of production. 

So much for a collection restricted to 
ten automobiles, with the brutal omis- 
sions consequential to such limitation: 
the Alfa-Romeo 1750 Zagato, the 
Mercedes-Benz SSK, the Hispano-Suiza 
Boulogne classics that come instantly 
to mind. But if they would add luster, 
they would add dollars, too: the АН; 
with two-seater body by Zagato, first seen 
іп 1932, brings around $10,000 today. 
(A modern-engined factory-built replica 
offered a couple of years ago failed on 
the market.) The SSK Mercedes was a 
Ferdinand Porsche design built by the 
oldest and one of the most successful 
automobile constructor firms; it was 
much used by Rudolf Caracciola when 
he drove for the factory to win the Mille 
Miglia, the Tourist Trophy. the Euro- 
pean hill-climb championship. SSKs were 
costly new and are in the $10,000-$15,000 
area today. Hispano-Suizas run higher: 
818,000-525.000, justihable in a саг 
some authorities call truly the best car 
n the world; that's to say, better than 
the contemporary Rolls-Royce. The 
Hisso began as a collaboration between 
the Swiss designer Marc. Birkigt, one of 
the immortals of automobilism, and 
ars were made 
gts final triumphs. 
der Type 68, came 


out of France. 

As the classics disappear into perma- 
nent museum custody, autophilisis look 
in new directions and specialist collec- 
tions spring up: child size toy collections, 
for aple. The best-known toy is the 
miniature Grand Prix Ettore Bugatti 
built first for his son Roland and later 
for limited commercial sale, It was cata- 
loged at the factory as Type 52. А 1928 
odel of this car brought $3000 at a 
recent British auction. Many others were 
made around that time and they arc still 
being made; I have seen Ferrari, Mus- 
tang, СТАО Fords and Aston Martin toys 
recently. These cars are usually about 
two-fifths size, battery-driven. The finest 
collection of drivable toys belongs to 
Francis Mortarini of Paris. He has about 
50. Тоу-зіге cars attract many collectors. 
In the 1920s, some toys were elaborately 
detailed and up to 20 inches in length. 
Adam Pellicot of Stockholm has prob- 
ably the biggest collection of toy automo 
biles—2500 of them. 

Miniature road cars haven't caught on 
yet, but they will. Bugatti's Bébé Peu 
geot, the first practical small-automobile 
small automobile, would be the founda- 
поп of а miniature collection, with his 


IM AFRAID You 
SYMBOLIC SEX NEVER GET iT OFF 
THE GROUND 
more sprightly spoofings of the signs of our times (2) З 
humor Ву DON ADDIS 


OTHER THAN THAT, HON ARE GIRLS JUST CANT GET 
THE MONKEY GLANDS WORKING ол? ENOUGH OF ME 
‘ 
E 
© HELLO, HANDSOME о 2 
Ф МЕ NEVER MET A 


REAL ARTIST BEFORE 


Товт WORRY... неш. 
СомЕ AROUND 


Qo 


1 UNDERSTAND SHES А 
PuSHOVER 


CAN 502Ү 
CONE ху ANP 
PLAY? 
Ө: 


May іт PIEASE 
„+ THE CouRT 


207 


PLAYBOY 


4 22, the Au 
nose Morris, American 
лє Topolino, and so on. Al- 
most every automobile-producing coun- 
try made a mi 

Cleverest will be the new collectors 
who buy in 1969 the cars that will be 
ke-Bernet's catalogs for the Cause the 
le in 2000. I 1 knew what those 


cars would be 


anding on end. The best 
advice remains the art collector's rule: 
Buy what you like. Most crystal balls are 
douded. For example, on the ground of 
rarity, the Tucker ought to be a good 
seems to lack basic appeal. 
"The Edsel will be a rarity in 2000, but 
there may be little interest in it 


in Czechoslovakia, is ап interesting 
05 rare on this side of the 
* thousands of them in Shouldn't wy for 1500. 
Europe. The Mercedes Benz 


in Sev 


lature. 


be good, 


Td have a b: 


& Track. 


associ 


ause 
‚ and nobody loves a 


а, a rearengine УВ made ТОП will re: 
ment 


Collection, but 


ШІ) ر‎ 
m (ШИ 


able to collect it when you are thir 


in the opinion of the trustees, you 
have sold out to the establishment.” 


sonal, whatever 
least as minimum and, as maximum, 
whatever your interest 
The 
the 1500.004 
that's 


Bull 30051. ought to be a cla 
antam, Crosley breakthrough car and a success; enough 
were built to scatter the car around the 
world but not enough to ma 
; it is good-looking а 
ting history. 1 think the Ferrari will 
nd racing Ferraris, be- 
€ so few of them. 
good. But the best guideline remains 
ı stuffed one’s own taste—and it can’t hurt to 
watch the quotations in the Sunday New 
York Times and magazines such as Road 


How many cars make a collection? 1 
think that three docs it, if a 
tion—historical, 
nks them, 


"I've put some money in trust for you. You will be 


if, 


id has an in- 


nd your bank 
iling at the mo- 
n the Harrah 
no reason you 


playboy club-horel 


(continued from page 148) 
best describes it at the moment is ‘c 
troversial.’ " Milwaukee Sentinel colum- 
If you are 
planning an attack on the Playboy hilly, 
watery course, I suggest your equipment 
include а shovel, compass, water wings 
and a е іп goat. I needed 
them. But don't get me wrong. I's a 
beautiful layout.” Former football great 
Paul Hornung, now a sportscaster, said 
simply: “It’s а super golf course 

Harris himsclf, when asked if this was 
his toughest assignment in a career that 
has included design of such celebrated 
courses as the Tucson National Golf 
Club, replied: “I never think of it that 
way; I've tried to design it so it will be a 
pleasure for all classes of player. I think 
its going to work out to be about the 
most beautiful course іп America—but I 
am a modest man, and 1 would like to 
have the golfers give their evaluation. 

A completely different type of course 
is scheduled to be ready for play in 
July, offering Club-Hotel v 


designed by Jack 
ite Pete Dye, whose idea 
was to leave the contours of the land. 
alone as much as possible—unlike the 
Harris course, which was literally carved 
out of the countryside. The Nicklaus-Dye 
1 lay 
уіс of the vener- 
ks. When 
nner 
n try all 36 holes dge for you 
which style you prefer. If you're not yet a 
police but would like to learn—or sharp- 
n up for private 
ident pro, the 
gregarious Ken Judd. Duflers have rated. 
the nuggets cast up Irom Ken's apparent- 
ly bottomless reservoir of jokes worth the 


der over the natura 
much in thc 


yo 


atch the. 


hip tennis 
es Professi al 
Lawn Tennis Asociation held its con- 
ntion and team matches there last 
fall); the stables, headquarters for horse- 
manship (English and Western), surres 
and trail rides: he offlimits Bunny 
Dorm; and the Ski Lodge. Hop off the 
bus at the Ski Lodge and have a second 
cup of coffee 


courts (the 1 


joy 
the view from the lodge, which is shaped 
like а pair of joined snowflakes with 
igh windows designed for 
xposure of the 
The lodge and the s 
lifts and many runs providing the 


the immediate 
architect Alexan- 


best skiing anywhere i 
a) were designed by 
der Mellvaine, who aw Valley, 
c c of the 1960 Winter Olym- 
auon Mountain, Vermont. 
The restaurant and The Jug of Wine 
bar operate year round. but you'll have 
to come back next winter to savor the 
excitement of schussing down the slopes 
or the kick of learning to ski the Art 
Furrer way. Furrer, Playboy's interna- 


tionally renowned Swiss-horn ski school 
chief, believes ski instruction should be 
fun—for pupil and teacher. 


Catch the bus again at the Ski Lodge 
and ride back to the Pro Shop, which, in 
addition to being the hub of golfing 
activities with its locker facilities, show- 
ers. sports shop and cari service, is 
good place to get a snack or a cool 
drink any time of the year. When winter 
arrives, the golf carts give way to snow- 
mobiles and the Pro 
tien centr 
Jake. You can ta 
Rawski, the eyedilling ex-Bunny who 
serves as ska nstructress, Other м 
ter divertissements at the Lake Ge 
resort include rides around the lake іп 
lrawn sleighs (reserve one at the 
Shop) and. of course. swinging ap: 
ski fun. Big attraction Гог pro-football. 
fans: Sunday-afternoon wide-screen tele- 
casts of Chicago Bears’ and Green Ba 
Packers" games, shown in the Penthouse. 

Now, however, it's spring at Lake 
Geneva and the pier at the shore of 
Playboy's 25-acre lake is headquarters not 
only for fishing (largemouth bass) but 
for canoeing, sailing. rowing and pedal 
ing along on Aqua-Bikes built for two. 
You can get instruction, by the way, in 
almost any of the activities offered at 
the Club-Hotel, That cludes flight 
training at the airstrip, where flyovers 
and cl r flights are also available. 

By this time, youll have decided to 
spend several days at Playboy's newest 
resort—and to make re: ions for re- 
turn visits later in the year. Even befor 
Playboy arrived on the scene, this part of 
Wisconsin was a famous resort area 
зау Nineties, Lake Genev 
re body of water located some 
two miles west of the Playboy Club-Hotel 
i nged by palatial estates. N. К. 
Fairbank of Ivory Soap fame frequently 
entertained 50 guests for dinner—and re- 
ail of 42, including 17 groom: 
commodate them. Another great 
house, Stone Manor, cost $2,000,000 
to build at turn-ofthe-ccntury prices, 
Playboy's $12,000,000 resort has almost 
singlehandedly revived that atmosphere 
of plush. luxury. 

Wiscon: 9 t Governor Jack 
B. Olson, whose family has for three 
generations been in the tourist business 
at scenic Wisconsin Dells, in the central 
pärt of the state, pur it this w 
Playboy Club-Hotel at Lake Gi 
ranks among the great resorts i 


€ lessons from. 


world. It is creating a desire among a 
great new group of people to sce why we 
like it here in Wisconsin—and we like to 
have them here, 

The Lake Geneva Club-Hotel opened 
just one year ago this month, Un 
most yearlings. it is not at the awkward 
age. Some peak-season weeks іп 1970 are 
already booked solid: plans for ex 
sion (additional restaurants, а conven- 
tion center) are under way. As one 
industry observer commented: “Anybody 
who plans to get into the resort business 
from now on is going to have to look 
long at what's going on in Lake Genev 
They're years ahead of everybody 
Already on the drawing boards is an 
Eastern year-round resort, the Playboy 
Club-Hotel at Great Gorge. New Jersey, 
and there are plans for others 

Lake Geneva's success is the result of 
delivering on a promise of quality, А 
nold Morton believes. “Resort hotel 
this country have a miserable image,” 
says. "You read the ads, you go there 
expecting to find Shangri-La, and what 
do you find: a little rinkydink golf 
course. some sway-backed old mares, а 
ny swimming pool and a volleyball net. 
bout the credibility gap! 
no credibility gap at Lake 


lio personality Jack Eigen 
said at the opening of the resort, “This is 
plicity told us it would 
‘We offer a guy 
two of the best golf courses in the coun- 
пу. something pretty 10 look at, name 
talent in the showrooms, a whole series 
of the finest restaurants—the kind of 
places he'd drive seventy-five miles to get 
to—a lake teeming with bass, skiing, with 
instruction by the finest acrobatic pro in 
the жопа. We're talking, really, in terms 
of a deluxe country club. Otherwise, it 
wouldn't be worth it.” 

It’s worth it. Visit Playboy at Lake 
Geneva and see for yourself. After all, 
even Hugh Hefner, a frequent guest 
of honor. admits: “I'm overwhelmed by 
it all myself.” 


The Lake Geneva Club-Hotel, which 
is open only to Playboy Club keyholders, 
their families and their guests, is now 
accepting reservations for summer, fall 
and winter. For information or reserva- 
lions, write to the Playboy Club-Hotel, 
Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Organizations 
тау inquire abont convention and group 
facilities from Sales Manager Jack Nitkey 
at the same address. 


"Sure, I hit him. How else can we stop 
violins in the street?” 


209 


PLAYBOY 


CRAZY GERMAN COFFEE (continued from page 92) 


will not tell Roberto that I have written 
to you! Because [ do not write English 
t all this letter is being writing by my 
female cousin Angelica for me as I tell 
her in Spanish. you se 
I want to come to the U, S. Aincrica so 
ly! I have read of this actress Ra- 
quel Welch who has so many millions of 
dollars and a Rolls-Royce auto. and Ro- 
berto says I am much more pretty than 
she is, you see. 

1 have seen your "snap" and you are a 
handsome and kindly man of generosity. 

Angelica knows an attorney who s 
that to enter Ше U.S. America I must 
need a vi nd also someone in the 
country who will make me not become a 
“public charge 
cost 5253 10 Пу from Cali to 
Los Angeles, stopping planes at Panama 
where it happen lives an aged aunt of 
ne I would like to see anyway. That 
economy one-way ticket 

1 of course do not haye any money. 

Please be of help to me, dear Mr. 


Broffman, but do not tell Roberto! I 
do not love him at all anymore. 
Yours most faithlul, 


ria Valenzucla 
9 


Calle 19 Sud No. 2 
Cali, Colombia 
P.S. I am bigger in the bosoms than. 
aquel Welch, you se 


Ар 


What а delight to crui 
of Hawaii! Did you have along a p 
female companion or two? 

Poor Maria! The film Fantastic Voy 
age (they go іп а tiny submarine through 
the blood vessels into the brain and it із 
highly educational) is now playing in 
Cali and she has gone five times to sec 
this Raquel Welch and she is full of 
«тагу ideas, and is mudi to be like a 
child with her silly dreams. 

I hope soon to marry her and settle 
her down with a baby. Now she works i 
a store in Cali where she sells dresses for 
ladies and can buy them herself for a 
percentage off and she does, spending all 
ol her money, alack! 

You have asked me twice about my life 
and my work and so I will tell you if you 
do not mind it dull 

1 do work in the field of nutrition and 
also toxicology, y 
The Indians of Colombia 
and also not nourished, their 


diet con- 
sists of mostly starches, sugar products 


and alcohol and also they chew the coca 

bean (not cocoa) which сонс to 

hide their hunger symptoms. 
Malnutrition and acute deficiency of 


mins is the fourth most important 


219 source of deaths here. 


Sad to we nutritionists of education 
that even when these sources of protein 
such as fish, milk, сару, soybeans and so 
forth are readily at hand the Indians 
will not eat them for they have prejud 
cial cultures from long past ages. 

These conditions result mot only in 
diseases but a lack of energy of the body 
and the mind, and those impulses to 
offset one's unfortunate lot are dissipated 
with the typical thought: "Para que?" 
(What for is the use?) 

We in the Public Health Service are 
dedicated to end this vicious circle 

I live alone in a small apartment on 
the third story of an old house which 
overlooks a quiet garden most luxuriant. 
Maria lives some streets away with her 
female cousin Angelica. 

I must make many arduous feld tcl 
on foot sometimes up into the mou 
ous Andes where live the Indians, which 
we examine and treat them with medi- 
cines and inoculate and try to teach them 
to grow and consume the more proper 
foods for their health 

As L wrote previous I will never know 
richness but at least 1 do not idle my 
precious time without helping the world 
into which I was born. 

My cousin who is the coffee broker in 
Bopotá writes to me that he has indeed 
heard of "crazy German coffee,” and will 
write to you care of me about this thing. 
He ıs amazed that you have heard of it 
and I still do not know what it is myself 

Sincerely, 
Roberto C.-C. 

Р. 5. More magazines have arrived for 

which I give you thanks. 


а 


381 Monta Lane 
Bel Air, Los Angeles 
Galifornia 90024 


April 2, 1968 


ss Maria Valenzuela 


21. By this I mean that you are a 
girl who should be spanked. 

Los Angeles is full of beautiful girls 
who would like to be mov but who 
must work lesgirls and waitresses, 
and sometimes with nothing on above 
their waists. 

Stay where you are in your own coun- 
try with a fine man who loves you. Do 
not write me again or I will tell Roberto. 

Sincerely, 
Faubus Broffman 


April 4, 1968. 


Dear friend Roberto: 
Your work docs пог sound at all 
"dull," but highly interesting. You should. 


be proud to be doing such 
work for your people. 

The Hawaii cruise was quite enjoy- 
ble. We fished and ate too much 
played cards and danced 
nd had à great time. Yes, we were not 
hout agreeable females. 

1 will be cager to hear from your 
cousin about "crazy German colfee.” I 
am particularly curious about why it is 
so сайса. 

Another shipment of magazines was 
mailed to you today, courtesy of Carlo. 
He runs down to the post ollice in West- 
wood Village with them in the Rolls. but 
without his chauffeur's uniform. He picks 
up young ladies that way, he says! They 
think it is his car. Too bad for them if 
they are so motivated, 1 say 

Your friend, 
aubus Broffman 


nportant 


wi 


April 6, 1968 


Mr 
ist not tui 


Broffman: 
down my pleadings 


for help! 
It is not only that I do not love 


Roberto but I do not like t all! 
Already he is losing at 26 his hair and is 
becoming fat in the belly and beside he 
is so grave and without jollity 
only of feeding soybeans to the Indianst 

I do not want to be his wife! Only 
because we have grown up together si 
ашалооа we are to be тәттісі. 

At the littlest, could I not have the 
briefest trip to the U.S, America 10 look 
around, before I marry Roberto and 
have his children? 

Then 1 will never leave Colombia 
again until I die and am old! 

Please assist me to make the briefest 
visit and 1 will be so greatful to you and 
1 will do anything, just to see the lovely 
Hollywood and the U.S. America for 
brief visit! 

Roberto banged me in the face last 
Sunday. 

Please 1 beg you to help me! 

Your servant, 
Maria Valenzucla 


April 9, 1968 


Dear Mr. Broffn 


Another packages of magazines has 


come by and are much appreciated by 
ne. 
1 have just returned from a trek into 


the Andes. It was very sad indeed for a 
child died in my arms of poverty and 
malnutrition of the worst nature 

Since you sign yourself my friend, 1 
thought more freely, 
which is thar it is a dramatic contrast 
from the lifes of these starving poor 
people and a life of indolence and luxu. 
ry and voyages to Punta del Este and 


can expres my 


Hawaii in a power yacht and a Rolls- 
Royce with a driver to run the errands. 
Pardon me if I speak my mind. 
Your friend, 
Roberto С. 


April 17, 1968 


Dear Miss Valenzuela: 
Jf you will go to the American consu- 
luc in Cali and ask for a Mr. J 
Harkins, you will find that my attor 
has sent all the necessary papers to en- 
able you to enter the U_S. America on а 
visitor's visa 
А round-trip 
nifi to Pa 
American, is 
American 
You wa 


first-class ticket on 
thence to L.A. via 
waiting you with the. 
xpress representative in Cali 
ned а brief visit here and that 
is what 1 will provide. You will stay here 
for a few wı 


B 


ecks only, as my hou: 
Alter you have seen the 
return to Colombia. Th 
stood before you leave 
Naturally, 1 will mention none of this 
to Roberto. Explaining this to him must 


мз. you will 
must be under- 


be your problem, without bringing me 
into it, I think you will be a contented 
wile for once you have got this 
travel bug out of your system, 

There will also be $500 for you with 
the American Express representative for 
expenses. Cable me your arrival date. 1 
will meet you. 


Faubus Broffman 


April 18, 1968 


Dear Doctor: 
Now, just a minute, please. 
I worked damn hard for 18 hours a 
day for over 30 vears to achieve fi 
rig 
of my toil, if you don't 


enjoy the fr 
d. sir. 


п 

То help the more unfortunate of the 
word. 1 long ago set up the Helen 
Тао пап Memorial Foundation, which 


has already given away to "good works" 
over $6,000,000. 

Is it that you are needling me in the 
hope of getting some moncy for your 
work? 

Very well, sir, If you have any specific 


tion сап help your poor Indians with 
financial grants, let me know them, to- 
gether with the names of the proper 
authorities to contact. 

5 please do not tell me how 
оша spend my days, if you don't 
d, and if you wish to remain шу 
ad. 


Yours, 
aubus R. Broffm: 


CALI COLOMBIA NL 8/2: XIA: 4:45 РМ AP 
26 08 
BROFFMAN 381 MONTA LANE BEL AIR LA 
C USA 


AFTER STAY OVER WITH AUNT PANAMA 
ARRIVE PAN AM FLIGHT 516 LA INTERNA 
TIONAL 10:30 PM AP 


IL 30. 1 LOVE YOU. 
MARIA 


AIRMAIL—SPECIAL DELIVERY 


April 97, 1968 


Dear friend! 
1 was writing to apologize for my latest 
letter to you and forgive ше for I was 211 


tired and bitter for the dying baby and I 
do not want a penny from you for the 
government pays for the work when I 
had the most terrible news! 
Which was from Angelica who is 
" 
away from Cali to 


There lives an aunt of her there but 
they do not answer the telephone I have 
called. 


пей thought Maria could 
be coming to Los Angeles to visit you— 
she is such a child! But where did she 
obtain the money for the ticket? She 
does not save. | fear she has stolen it 
from the store but T fear to ask because 
ol the police! Please Iet me know if she 
comes to L.A. by any chance! | am 
frantic from anxiety and worry about my 
beloved! 


Roberto 


LA C 11:30 PM 4xlQ: 897 DDY URG 4/30/68 
ROBERTO CAJIAO HYPHEN CIGLIUTI CALLE. 
13 NORTE NO 27 CALI COLOMBIA SA 

THIS HAS BEEN A COMPLETE SURPRISE TO. 
ME. YOUR LETTER ARRIVED THIS MORN- 
ING AND TONIGHT MARIA CALLED FROM 


AIRPORT AND I HAVE MET HER AND 
HAVE JUST RETURNED HERE TO MY 
HOME. SHE I$ FINE, SHE DID NOT STEAL 
ANY MONEY. SHE JUST WANTS TO SEE 
SOMETHING ОГ THE WORLD. 1 WILL SE 
HER HOME SAFELY AETER A BIT. WRITING. 
DO NOT WORRY. SHE IS IN GOOD HANDS. 

BROFFMAN 


у 2, 1968 


Dear Roberto: 

Maria is fine, as I said in my cable, 

It is a crazy thing she has done, but it 
is better I think that she does such a 
thing now. if she has to, than after she is 
married to you. 

She says she did not steal any moncy, 
and is shocked and angry that you would. 
have thought so. She says she paid for 
her flight ticket with some moncy from 
ritance from her grandmother 
never mentioned to you. 
rom what I learn from her, with the 
age barrier, 1 gather that she has 
the normal, understandable fears of any 
young woman about to embark upon 
marriage. Being only 19, she wants to 
"sow some wild oats” before she settles 
down for good. I will keep an eye on her 


“Are you publishing an underground 
newspaper in my air-raid shelter?” 


and make sure she behaves herself, if you 
know what I mean and I think you do. 

Meanwhile, she will be a guest here 
in my house. I have two servants for 
chaperones. 

As а courtesy to you, my friend, I will 
give her a whirl while she is here. I'm 
sure she'll soon tire of it and want to 
come home. 

Maria has had to buy some new 
clothes, for her skirts are too long for 

ent Fashions. I must admit that mini- 
skirts look very well on her. Also, it is a 
pleasure to have such a decorative pe 
son around my swimming pool. Maria 
been in every day. 
Don't worry. I will take good care of 


Your friend, 
Faubus 


(Translated from the Spanish) 


May 10, 1968 


My darling Roberto: 

Please forgive me, my beloved, for my 
foolishness, You are first in my heart and 
1 will be back with you soon, but first 1 
desired so desperately to see just a little 
of the world. 

Mr, Broffman lives in a big mansion. I 
ave a room on the second story which 
has a balcony which overlooks the spread- 
ing lawns and the huge swimming pool 
of таг 

Mr, Broffman gave a swimming party 
in my honor last Sunday and it was such 
fun! Think who came! Raquel Welch 
and her husband, who live not far 
away! She is very nice. Cary t the 
movie star also came by for a minute. He 
is so handsome? 

Next week we are flying to Las Vegas 
in а chartered plane with some of Mr 
Brolfman’s friends. Dean Martin is ap- 
pearing there now he is a golfing 
Iriend of Mr. Broffman. 

1 will return in only a few short wecks. 
1 love you. 


Your adoring 
Mar 


May 15, 1968 


Dear friend Faubus: 

1 have received a leter from M; 
which makes me feel full of fear, for 1 
anticipate with alarm that perhaps she 
will enjoy so this “whirl” you are gi 
her in the world of ease and luxury and 
famous persons that her future life with 
me in Colombia will be as nothing but 
dull to her їп the prospect, you sce. 

I trust you as a trusted friend to sce 
that this does not happen. 


‘Your friend, 
Roberto 

P.S. I enclose a translation from the 

Spanish of a letter from my cousin in 


Bogota who does not write English. It is 
a fascinating sag; 
interest for you. 


How interesting to me that your 
coffee enthusiast who is your Ameri- 
can rich friend did hear of "crazy 
German colec”! Fewest people have, 
even in Colombi 

Here is the story: It was in 1785 
ans came to Colom- 
nt coffee trees 
way high up in the Andes. They were 
called "crazy" for the altitude was 
too high and too frosty and also there 
were a forest of trees жо thick like a 
and you could not walk 
them, The “crazy Germans” 
thought Aha! we will burn the trees 
to clear the ground! And so they set 
fires which burned for a year over 
thousands of square kilometers! 
When the fires were cold there 
а meter of wood ashes on the soil, in 
which the “crazy Germans" planted 
Coffec trees which regardless to say 
soon died fr frost and insufficient 
аймай, and the "crazy Germans" 
gave up the venture and departed. 

Now passes 140 years or so, and 
in 1930 some government surveyors 
desolate area 
disbelief under tall 
few of these coffee trecs, 
still growing, although shaped badly 
and minuscule. The beans were tiny 
like peppercorns. Needing сойсе to 
drink, these men roasted the beans 


d u 
imaginable delight! This was the 
most ibulous and unusual and de 
cions coffee ever tasted by man! In 
Іші it was the most marvelous 
phrodisiacs!! 

Chemists 1 have chatted to about 
this phenomenon say it was ров 
a chemical or org; 
of the soil from the fire plus the 


of 


presence of potash and phosphate 
from the wood ashes which could 
produce such fantastic a colfec! 


These surveyors picked every bean 
from the only ten trees growing and 
brought these back to Bogovi, and 
guarded this coffee with their guns. 

1 was then only 30 years of age 
but I resolved to taste this coffee, and 
I am shamed to tell you the whereby 
but I obtained enough beans for only 
one cup which I drank in solitude. 

There resulted not only the most 
magnificent taste sensation of my 
Ше, but also the most marvelous 
feeling of well-being in all my body! 
Also, I have never had such a sexu 
appetite, nor а capacity, before or 
later in this Бет 

Alack, this was all the "crazy Ger 


“For the record, Senator, it would be helpful 
if you would agree to use the terminology ‘bilateral 
reduction of hallistic-missile systems,’ rather than 
‘catching Uncle Sam with his pants down.’ " 


coffee” there was, and if there із 
any ag. on these so distant trees 
1 do not know, and it would take a 
expedition to find out and this 
would cost 51000, which would be 
foolhardy for it is 38 years since and 
I doubt if anyone can find the trees 
if there are any extant there, 

But | thought your American 
friend could enjoy knowing the story 
of "crazy German collec." 


m 


Мау 20, 1908 


Dear friend Roberto: 

I have been very busy with Maria, but 
I have a few minutes now to write to 
you, for Carlo has driven her down to 
Beverly Hills to buy some shocs to match 
some evening gowns which she bought 
for our trip to New York next week. I 
thought she should see the 
of Broadway" before returning home. 

I was fascinated by your cou 
count of “crazy German coffe 
close 2 check made out to you for 51000, 
give to your cousin. for I 
m at his word about this 
1 want him to go ahead with 
t at once. I fully appreciate the gamble 
involved, but am willing to take it. 

1 am more than a coffec “enthu 
lam a cofite “nut.” I have green coffees 
flown to me from all over the world. T 
Keep them in a special freczer. I roast 
these beans myself, after blend 


then grind them, just before making my 
cofice, which 1 do in a special pantry 
forbidden 10 my servants, except to clean 
up. 

So now you will 
why I am willing to risk 
chance of getting some “ста 
coffee.” 

Maria is fine and enjoying herself. She 
has made а great hit with my friends. А 
motion-picture producer has shown some 
terest in her, but I suspect where his 
interest lies. and 1 have kept this from 
her, 1 have not allowed her to go out in 
the company of other men, though she 
has not lacked for offers. 

Soon I am sure she will become bored 
with this dizzying round of social affairs 
and will want to come home. 

Your frie 
Faubus 


understand better 
1000 on the 
zy German 


(From the Spa 


sh) 
May 30, 1968 


Darling Roberto: 
Here we are in New York City! It is 
just like the cinema! 
Every night we go to the theaters and 
the night clubs and dance, and in the day- 
ne we do sightseeing. We have flown 
to Boston for two days and also Wa g- 
ton, D.C. I went to the White House! 
m very tired and am longing soon 213 


to return to you, and lovely Cali. 1 have 
told Faubus that I must go home very 
soon. 

I danced with Dean Martin at a party 
in Las Vegas. He is so sweet but so is his 
wife! Ha, һа! 

I miss you, ny darling! 


Maria 


PLAYBOY 


June 5, 1968 


Dear friend Faubus: 
The expedition of several men have 
started off into the mountains some time 
ago. My cousin trusts these men, They 
must fly to a point and thence vis 
helicopter to a point and then by foot to 
Took for the wees of coffee. They cany а 
shortwave radio to communicate with 
Bogoti 
1 must be firm now and insist that you 
send Maria back to my arms, for I 
lonely. It has been зо much longer 
was said, and I must ask you that Maria 
be back in Cali by June 26 which will be 
two months from departure. 
You must keep your bargain, sir! 
Your friend, 
Roberto 


June 10, 1968 


Dear Roberto: 

This may well be the most difficult 
letter 1 will ever have to write. I will get 
directly to the point. 

1 have asked Maria to be my wife and 
she has accepted, We will be married 
here, in Bel Air, next week. 

I know how angry and upset you will 
and how faithless to you you will 
I am upset, too. 

But the truth, which may be hurtful to 
you, is that Maria docs not really love 
you, and would not be happy with you. 

But I am in love with Mari: T have 
never loved before. The thought of her 
leaving me forever was just too much lor 
me to be 

1 am not unaware of the problems 
that the disparity between our ages will 
cause. I know that my wealth is a highly 
important factor in her decision to mar- 
ry me. I do not fool myself that she has a 
nd passion for me. 

ІГ you truly love her, find it in your 
heart t0 wish us well in this marriage. 


abus 
сма COLOMBIA SM ххх м URGENT 
JUNE M 68 6:45 PM 

DROFFMAN 381 MONTA LANE BEL AIR LOS 
ANGELES CALIF. USA 

YOU CANNOT DO THIS: 1 FORBID її THIS 
15 PEREIDY! YOU HAVE NO HONOR AS A 
MAN TO THINK YOU CAN CORRUPT AND 
SEDUCE AND STEAL MY BELOVED WITH 
YOUR MILLIONS! 1 вес YOU TO RECON 


214 SIDER WHAT YOU DO! IF 1 TAKE MY LIFE 


IN MY OWN HANDS IT WILL BE ON YOUR 
SOUL FOREVER I AM IN UTTER DESPAIR! 
ROBERTO 


BEL AIR LOS ANGELES CAL XC 594 DL 10ХХ 
JUNE 18 68 

CAJIAO HYPHEN CIGLIUTI CALLE 13 NORTE 
NO 27 CALI COLOMBIA SA 
FAUBUS AND 1 MARRIED TODA! 


FORGIVE 


ME BUT 1 WOULD NEVER MAKE GOOD 
WIFE FOR YOU. PLEASE WE BEG YOU FOR 
YOUR BLESSING. LOVE. 


MARIA 


June 26, 1968 


Dear friends Faubus and М. 

I have written so many letters couched 
in anger and vituperation and hatred 
was like a poison in my system but I 
have torn them all into litle pieces and 
now the poison has gone I hope to the 
Almighty God! 

T had to make a medical trek into the 
Andes up high and there alone in the 
peaks and snow 1 was able to reflect 
in a philosophy that we are mortals only 
and so small like ants and so short 
time on this earth. I found f 
lying in my heart and I pour it forth to 
you. I think Maria is of a certainty tha 
she would not make the best wife for me, 
for as always since a child she has 
yearned and dreamed of princes and 
fairy castles and rich gowns and pearls! 
Such would never befall her lot 
so simply a lile. 


eness 


I give you my blessings and my hopes 
for lifes enriched with all happinesses! 
cerely, 
Roberto 


P. 5. I have just received this of interest 
from my cousin. 


Tell your fiend the coffee 
that 1 have heard vi 
radio from the expedi 
all this trudging of the Andes they 
have at last found the coffee incest 
But they are only numbering six at 
this present and very sparse of beans 
a all. But 1 will send all the coffee 
when the expedition returns, keep- 
ing only some [or two cups for my- 
self, and аЛ the rest to Mr. Broffman 
for his electability and joy! 


тн” 


(From the Spanish) 
July 2, 1968 


Dear Roberto: 

Bless you so much for your kind letter 
full of love and understanding, 

1 am so happy in the marriage and 
bus is so kind to me and so gentle. 

For a wedding present he gave me 
$25,000 for my very own. I have put it in 
a bank here. 

Our wedding was very small and sim- 


ple but afterward there was a grand gala 
here at the mansion, with 500 guests and 
Cary Grant and Dean Martin and the 
mayor of Los Angeles and the governor 
of California and also George Hamilton. 
And Paul Newman and his wife whom 
we have seen in the cinema. He is very 
handsome, with blue eyes. His wife 
Joanne Woodward. 
‘There were two orchestras. 
ubus talks of nothing but the arrival 
of this "crazy German coffee.” and he 
says I will enjoy it too in a way. 
My love to you, 
Mari 


July 7. 1968 


nds Faubus and Maria: 

ve the saddest of news to trans 
port! It comes from my cousin and will 
explain Ше Tittle packet I endose of 
which be careful for it is rare indeed! 


Tell Mr. Bioffman E am desolate 
hur the happening has been this: 
"The men of the expedition returned 
on their feet to the meeting place 
for the helicopter with seven pounds 

two 


copter and 
took into the air over the Andes. 
Bur some kilometers larer there was 
mechanical failure and the helicopt 
fell into the tall trees many times 
before going to pieces. The pilot wi 
Killed and two men badly damaged, 
By radio the news was sent to me 
and also that in the tragedy the bags 
of coffee had busted and from the 
helicopter had scattered for miles in 
the very high winds and there was 
not one bean to have, at all. 
Anothi 
n the injured men and the others. 
Bur all is not quite lost 
pens, for it has transpired that one 
of the injured men is religious, and 
also a thief. He had himself secreted 
little amount of coffee on his per- 
son for his secret delectation 
later time. After the tragedy, h 
fathomed that God had punished li 
thievery and caused the accident and. 
so he has given to me back the stolen 
coffee. Alack, it is barely two ounces 
in all—solely enough for one strong 
cup! 1 have had it roasted and 
ground myself and am enclosing it 
to you for Mr. Brollman, keeping 
по! one trace for m 
As said, I am des 
outcome, but 
knew the 
ticipate thi 


iring for this 

I know your friend 
able but he did not an- 
tragic accident to boot. 


And so, dear friend Faubus, I enclose 
this little envelope of coffee. No one 
will believe a man had to pay $1000 for 


"I said “putt out’—I didn't say ‘put out’... !” 


PLAYBOY 


216 


one cup onl 
but that is how it 

I know you would be preferring to 
d grind it yourself but my cousin 
did not know thi 

1 be awaiting with eagerness the 
news of how this colfee tastes and makes 
you feel in the bod 


Your friend. 
Roberto 


BEL AIR LOS ANGELES CAL 
П 68 URGENT 
CAJIAO HYPHEN CIGLIUTI CALLE 13 NORTE 
О 27 CALI COLOMBIA SA 
FAUBUS DIED SUDDENLY THIS MORNING 
OF A HEART ATTACK. 1 АМ WRITING. 
MARIA 


SC 4X80022 JUL 


CALI COLOMBIA 448XY УС URGENT: NN4 
UL 11 66 9:14 PM. 

MARIA BROFFMAN 381 MONTA LANE BEL 
MR LOS ANGELES CAL USA 

1 AM SHOCKED BEYOND WORDS WITH 
THIS TERRIBLE NEWS! MY HEART POURS 
OUT TO YOU MY SORROW AND SYMPATHY 


DEAR MARIA. 


ROBERTO 


(From the Sp. 


1) 
July 14. 1968 
D; 


ig Roberto: 

Thank you so much for your cable of 
sympathy. I am terribly upset still and 
Dr. Seller has had to give me something 
lor sleeping. 

It was carly in the morning. Faubus 
had risen at seven a.w. and told me to 
go back to sleep. He went downstairs, 
cager to have this coffee. 

A litile later, I heard a terrible scream 
from him from downs! nd I jumped 
out of bed and ran down to hear Cleo 
the cook screaming. too, and 1 heard 
bus shouting: "My heart! My heart 

I ran into the breakfast room where 
he had been drinking the coffee, and by 
this time he was dead on the floor. 

The police came and also Dr. Seller, 
who said that Faubus had had a heart 
attack before and had been “overdoing 
lately. 

The police were very kind and did not 
ask any questions 
aubus will 
There cannot be 


irs 


be buried tomorrow. 
y cremation because 
the attorney says that in his will Faubus 
said he wished to be buried beside his 
fe in a place called Forest Lawn Ceme- 
tery here, 

The attorney says I am the only heir- 
ess except for a charitable foundation, 
and that I will have around $7,000,000 


after the taxes will have been paid to the 
Government. 
Meanwhile, says the attorney, he 


thinks the court will let me have $6000 


a month to live and maintain the house. 
Dr, Seller has signed the certificate of 
death that it was a heart attack. 


P.S. 
Angelica Smith 

P.O. Box 8793 

Village Station P. O. 

922 Gayley Ave. 

Los Angeles, Calif. 90024 


(From the Spanish) 
July 18, 1968 


Miss Angelica Smith 
Р.О. Box 3793 


Los Angeles, Calif. 90024 
U.S. A. 


My darling: 

Vou must destroy this letter as soon as 
you have read i 

How 1 have missed you, and how I 
long to lie with you in my arms ag: 
You have been a brave girl and | am 
proud of you. I know it was not easy to 
n. But 
is all over and there will be 
ess for the two of us 


pretend to like this dirty old m 
now it 


Think—to never again have to worry 
about money! We can live anywhere in 
the world, just do as we please! 

I want to fly to Los Angeles to be with 
you. I am an old childhood friend, after 
ай, who has come to comfort you in your 
time of sorrow. 

You did not say that you had de 
stroyed my letters to Broffman. Please do 
so at once if you have not. 

Please send me at once $12,500, which 
is my half of the wedding present, vou 
see. 


All ту love my darling. 
Roberto 


(From the Spanish) 
July 31, 1968 


Miss Angelica Smith 
P.O. Box 3793 
Village Station P.O. 


922 Gayley Ave. 
Los Angeles, Calif. 90024 
U.S. A. 


My darling on 

Why have 1 not heard from you? Are 
you all right? Has anything gone wrong? 
It has been nearly two weeks since ] last 
wrote you at this address! 

I go every day to the American Ex- 
press representative, but you have not 
yet to uansfer me the 512,500 which is 
mine. 

Iam greatly worried 
let me hear from you 


nd upset. Please 
once! 


My love, 
Roberto 


CALI COLOMBIA URC 
LMI? AUG 3 08 5:12 PM 
MARIA BROFFMAN 381 
AIR LOS ANGELES CAL US 
PLEASE CABLE AT ONCE. 1 HAVE TELE 
PHONED YOU TO NO SUCCESS IT IS UR 
GENT THAT Т HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. 

ROBERTO 


NT ss) DDN: Pi 


MONTA LANE BEL 


(From the Spanish) 


August 9, 1968 


Dear Maria: 

You must write me at once by retum 
mail or you will be sorry indeed. I hope 
you are not trying to play any stupid 
tricks, for it will bring you great harm. 

We have always been partners 50-50) in 
this from the beginning and you cannot 
back out now. 

1 should not like to have to write to 
the Los Angeles police. 

1 will expect that you will send me bı 
cable the amount of 512,500 by August 
15 at the very latest or you will regret 
it very much for the rest of your life. 

Roberto 


(From the 


) 
August 13, 1968 


Dear Roberto: 

1 am sending you $12,500 to the Amer 
ican Express representative. But this is 
all you will ever receive from me. 

I would think very seriously before say 
ing anything to the Los Angeles police 
T have kept carefully all your enters to 
ubus, including the one in which you 
sent the coffee. Faubus also kept carbon 
copies of all letters to you, which 1 have. 

Also, I poured the remains of his 
coffee from his сар into a little medicine. 
bottle before I washed up the cup before 
the police and doctor came. And this 
sample 1 will always keep. for protection. 

So it is you who will be yery sorry 
indeed if you do not just keep this 
money and remain quiet. Do not be 
greedy. 

Do not ever write 10 me again. 1 am 
going to marry Carlo when ir is more 
seemly for а mourning widow, vou sce. 

Goodbye. 


м: 


URGENT—SPECIAL DELIVERY— 
ATTENTION! 


August 16, 1968 


Chief of the Police of Los Angeles 
Los Angel 


Distinguished Sirt 

You will be interested in hea 
murder which has been done 
bailiwick of yours only recently, namely 
the murder of Faubus R. Broffmant 

If you will exhume his body and 


Ulustrations and text from 


‘Cutty Sark 
first... the rest 
nowhere” 


1876. The annual wool race is over... 
and a reporter describes the finish. 

Once again CUTTY SARK had 
outrun the clipper fleet. Once again, 
CUTTY was the one to beat. As always, 
she was Number One, 


The golden cra of the clipper spanned 
only the kist twenty-five years of the 19th 
century. And in that time, all England 
watched the clipper 
races from China and 
Australia with more 
thansportinginterest. 

The clippers 
brought new tea for 
the table and wool for 
England's bourgeon- 
ing industries. And 
theship that captured 
the whole nation's 
imagination was the 
CUTTY SARK. 


Caps. Moodie 
commanded she CUTTY 
in ber тап famous rece. 


<2 


Lrom the 
CUTTY SARK's 
Log... 

With every cargo, 
CUTTY made remark- 
able voyages. Even 5 
Plimsoll Line-deep 
wich tons of rea, wool 
—or scrap iron, coal EE 
and palm sap syrup, CUTTY’ jury rudder. 
she challenged the cream of the clipper 
fleet...and won. Among her feats: 

1871. CUTTY leaves for the China tea 
ports two weeks after the speedy TITANIA 
and nearly a month after the even faster 
TAEPING...yet she beats both handily. 

1872. CUTTY vs. T 
most 
leading by 400 miles, loses her rudder in 
a gale. Her crew cannibalizes her spare 
spars and ironwork, and through 6 days 
of gale, makes and fits a jury rudder. The 
jury rudder snaps, so a second rig is fitted 
—this one inonly 24 hours. THERMOPYLAE 
docks first, but a special maritime com- 
mission declares СОТТУ the winner, based 
оп actual time under sail. 

1889. Enroute to Sydney, CUTTY passes 
the new P & О. steamer BRITANNIA. At 
the time, BRITANNIA (called “cock of che 
walk of the Pacific") was making 16 knots, 

CUTTY's log records dismastings, 
groundings, collisions but above all, vic- 
tories. Time and time again, it was “CUTTY 
SARK first...the rest, nowhere.” 


E EN 
Log of the Cutty Sark” reprinted with permission of Brown, Son б Ferguson, Lid., Publishers, 


The legacy of the CUTTY SARK 


Today, the legacy of the CUTTY SARK is 
held by the Scotch that took her name. 


CUTTY SARK is America’s best-selling 
Scotch. CUTTY is Number One. 


And the reason is Cutty's consistently 
distinguished taste. 

Gencration after generation, Cutty has 
blended only the finest of Scotland's best 
whiskies to create 
the uniquely reward- 
ing Cutty taste: the 
taste to be savored; 
the taste of excep- 
tional Scorch. 

Sooner or 
most people arrive ac 
Cutty. So come to 
Cutry tonight. You'll 
be in the best of 
company. 


DISTILLED AND BOTTLED IN SCOTLAND « BLENDED #6 PROOF 
THE BUCKINGHAM CORPORATION, IMPORTERS « NEW YORK, N.Y. 


217 


PLAYBOY 


218 


perform an autopsy, you will find much 
digitoxin in his system. This is a poison- 
ous crystalline glucoside which can be 
refined from digitalis. I am a toxicolo- 
gist, you see, and know this. Also, I 
myself put this digitoxin into some 
ground coffee which I sent Mr. Broffman 
to drink. It will produce an acute heart 
attack. 

Mis. Maria Broffman the widow was 
very much so a party to this plan, for 
she wished 10 inherit his millions of dol- 
lars when he was dead. 

For proof of this I enclose a letter of 
Mrs. Broffman to me of August 18, іп 
which she says she kept some of the poi- 
son coffee in a bottle! This you will 
find in her keeping! So she cannot very 
well lie to you that she was in ignorance! 

I myself first conceived this ingenious 
plan, writing piteous letters from Maria 
to Mr. Broffman via "cousin Angelica” 
who does not exist at all. 

Mr. Broffman then sent for Maria to 
enjoy her body, lying to me at the same 
time. 

When Mr. Broffman inquired from me 
of "crazy German coffee," which did 
once exist but not anymore, I then in- 
vented a cousin I do not have in Bogotá, 
and also а $1000 expedition to find ıl 
сөйсе! This made the poisoning so easy! 

Because Mr. Broffman was the manner 
of fellow who liked so much to take 
ruthlessly from others I of course played 


the angry jealous part to spur him into 
marriage with Maria, who was to give 
me half of the money when he died. 

Now the stupid, greedy child has 
changed her mind to divide the money, 
so I am telling you this so she will go to 
prison. instead of having all the millions 
of dollars and the body of the oversexual 
chauffeur, too. 

As for me. I now have $13,500 in cash, 
you see, and by the time you receive this 
ерше I will be far away in the world 
where I will never be wacked down by 
and order! Ha, hal 
all a quite clever notion 
of me! Do you not agree, sir? 

Sincerely, 
Roberto C 

P.S. I do not feel guilt for this deed 
for Mr. Brofiman was a greedy and dirty 
old man who lied to me and thought 
nothing of stealing from me my beloved 
fiancée or so he thought and he is just as 
well dead. 


CALI COLOMBIA INTERPOL TELEX CODE 
717 DDX МУ AUG 16 1968 6:18 PM 

CHIEF OF POLICE THOMAS REDDIN 105 
ANGELES F USA 

DR. САПАО HYPHEN CIGLIUTI ARRESTED. 
HERE AT AIRPORT WHILE ATTEMPTING 
TO ROARD PLANE FOR LIMA, PERU. AS 
PER YOUR REQUEST OF JULY Il, HE HAS. 
BEEN UNDER OUR CONSTANT SURVEIL- 
LANCE, SINCE DIGITOXIN WAS INSERTED 


“Of course we spend a lot of time 


How many other parents do you know who take 


such an interest in their son's work?" 


IN COFFEE HERE, CRIME 15 UNDER СО- 
LOMBIA JURISDICTION. REGARDS, 
TOMAS HERNANDES-MENDEZ 
CHIEF-CALI POLICE 


OFICINA DEL JEFE DE POLICIA 
CASA CONSISTORIAL 
CALI, COLOMBIA 


JEFE DE POLICIA: Tomas Hernandes- 
Mendez 


August 20, 1968 


Chief of Police Thomas Reddin 
Los Angeles 

Californ 
U.S. А. 


My dear Chief: 

This should be considered a personal 
letter, now that our two offices have 
taken care of the necessaries of the Dr. 
Cajiao-Cigliuti matter on the official level. 

I greatly appreciate your having tele- 
phoned me personally about this matter, 
first on July 11 and, of course, several 
times since then. 

Because of our phone conversations, 1 
write to you iend. I write іп Eng- 
lish, bec: ‘cond 
ly intercepted Dr. C; 
at the Cali airport, with two of 
my officers. I have known the doctor 
slightly for some years, and had always 
considered him а man of honor and a 
sincerely dedicated public servant. 

When I told him that I was arrest 
him on the basis of information 1 һа 
received from the Los Angeles police, he 
appeared shocked and sarprised, 
then his face filled with fury. In Sp: 
he said, “The little bitch! The idiot! 
Has she lost her mind? She is just as 
guilty of this murder as I!” 

I then told him that there had been 
no murder, and that Mr. Broffman was 
very much alive, because Maria had 
warned him that the coffee would be 
poisoned. 

His eyes widened in disbelief, and his 
mouth fell open, and he cried out: “But 
the cable! Maria's letters! The money 
she sent mel” 

1 told the poor man that all these had 
merely been part of Mr. Brofiman's plan 
to entrap the doctor, for attempted. 
murder. 

He stared at me for close to ten sec 
onds without speaking, as the truth sank 
nto his mind, Then he emitted a brief 
fainted and fell to the floor. 1 
never before in my life seen a man faint, 
lt was an unsettling experience. 

1 thought you would be interested 
this firsthand account, 

1 will always be happy to be of service 
to you in any way that I can. 

Cordially, 
"Tomas Hernandes-Mend@ 


ise 


TIR Think of us first 
i кйш because we аге. 


Jim Beam. 


; World's finest 
Bourbon 
since1795. 


86 PROOF KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY DISTILLED AND BOTTLED BY THE JAMES В. BEAM DISTILLING CO., CLERMONT, BEAM, KENTUCKY 


his own god by committing suicide, says: 
“Man simply invented God in order not 
10 kill himself. That is the sum of uni- 
versal history down to this moment.” 

Tracking our spiritual history, we can 
follow this path: From the beginning, 
human consciousness longs and plans to 
perpetuate itself, Man craves personal 
»mortality but observes that everyone 
dies. He creates gods. and worships and. 
placates them. Assuming that "we must 
have done something wrong." he con- 
structs systems of self punishment, an 
emotional mathematics of retribution, to 
pay for our primal crime: the impudence 
of being human. Still. everybody dies. 
Then, since placating divine authority 
hasn't worked, he more or less unkno 
ingly resolves to knock down the gods or 
replace them—to steal divinity and ever- 
lasting life. 

This must be done warily. We must 
take care not to excite the anger of the 
gods who inflict mortality on us until we 
are strong enough to overthrow them. 
Hence, men alternate between abject 
surrender and assertiveness, and we ii 
form ourselves of what we are doing 
through myths. In these dream projec- 
tions, the Promethean and satanic types, 
or the “foolish women" such as E 
always undergo a chastising, but the idea 
of rebellion 15 thereby 
Above all, we must conceal from our- 
selves the existence of our underground 
drive a ist the cosmic establishment. 
Only by means of this functional hypoc- 
risy has our species been able to keep the 
revolutionary program going. It has cn- 
abled man to plot against his gods as he 
worshiped them, 

A disguised drive toward divinity, the 
creation of our own divinity, carries us 
forward. At certain times, we advance 
too quickly and the gods in our heads 
inflict a terrible revenge—sometimes оп 
ourselves, more often on others. Galileo 
and Bruno move out too far in front of 
their day and cut down. But in 
another country, in Jung's phrase, "the 
godly sense of curiosity strives for birth." 
Man, in the person of Francis Bacon, 


PLAYBOY 


ment, to remove 

(divine property), im order to discover 

the base Archimedes sought, the place to 

stand from which he could move the 
world, and ultimately remove death. 

Having lost faith, a great many men 

and women have returned to old super- 

stitions now cloaked in new disguises. 

God may have retreated, but the gods 

today are by no means dead. Though dis- 

posed to destroy them, we simultaneously 

bow down to the weirdest assortment of 

deities ever known, such as History, Suc 

ces and Statistics, We worship purveyors 

229 of Luck, Fashion and Publicity. We fol- 


IMMORTALIST (continued from page 118) 


low shifting gospels based on journalistic 
graffiti passing for honest news. We hum- 
bly receive the word from makeshift di- 
ited at the heads of couches, 
sexual statisticians, psychological testers, 
poll takers, various merchants of para- 
noia, the manipulators of public rel 
television — personalities—the multiple 
gods of our quickening century. 

This is to say that increasing numbers 
of civilized men and women are progres- 
ing. or retrogressing. to a pagan state of 
mind. The most sophisticated as well as 
humble people—and atheists most of all 
—live in fear of these gods and are 
guided by the need either to live up to 
their examples or to compete for their 
approval. What emerges, astonishingly, is 
that the old gods in new forms live on in 
our heads, not metaphorically but, for 
all practical purposes, alive, and that 
they exert а dominating influence over 
great bulk of modern affairs. One 


velopment is new here. For want of 
any other way, the publicizing of one's 
excellence (fitness for survival beyond 


and sm 
amortality. The 


Il—has. 


death}—publicity great 
become the path to 
lust for do-it-yourself immortality has 
produced an emotional transformation 
in which the ideal of right conduct (for- 
merly the passport to heaven) is being 
replaced everywhere by the ideal of print- 
ng one's image on all things. 

Among the middle-class masses, God, 
supposedly dead, has reappeared in the. 
form of a gigantic Computer of Excel- 
Тепсе. The faith of the anxious, climbing 
mortal is that degrees of excellence, or at 
Teast public visibility, are somehow cali- 
ied in the stars. If we are pers 
enough. our presence сап Ье Xeroxed 
over heaven. Our scores are being tibu- 
ted and processed by а master calcula- 
tor. Imaginary keepers of immortality 
pass our data into this system. By some 
nameless procedure, cach of us will bc 
tested out. Our reward. а passing grade, 
will be that of life beyond death; our. 
punishment for failure, annihilation. 
This accounts for the intensified pub- 
licity hunting and status seeking we see 
around us today. The only way to make 
sense out of the immortality hunters in 
the crowd (to a varying degree, nearly 
everyone) is to understand that they аге 
trying to post scores on an imaginary 
record. 

Yet. sec 


ng to remedy his condition, 
Шу contradicts him- 
self. Expending his energies at one and 
the same time to placate, impress, de- 
stroy and replace his gods, he also es! 


all other beings, 
The attempt at spiritual fusion with 
others ke many forms—desiructive, 
saintly (that is to say, charitable) and 
quiescent. Consider some recent effects. 
Writing in the context of Nazism, 


Jacques Maritain heard “the voices of 
а base multitude whose baseness itself 
appears as an apocalyptic sign.” These 
voices cry out: "We have had enough of 
lying optimism and illusory moralit 
enough of freedom and personal dign 
and justice and peace and faithfulness 
and goodness which make us mad with 
distress. Let us give ground to the in- 
finite promises of evil. and of swarming 
death. and of blessed enslavement, and 
of triumphant despai 

In contrast—growing ош of 
ncisco and New York and өрі 
cross the coumtry—we have hi 
hippie subculture, originally based 
ideal of natural saindiness or, at 
rate, of free-form liv 
made possible by a union bringing to- 
gether the wisdom of the East and West- 
ern pharmacology, with LSD and other 
substances providing the means for pro- 
longed and repeated escapes fron 
(which s the minutes le: 
extinction), The 


any 
This has been 


ng to 
ovement should be 
understood—and generally is not—as an 
tempt to achieve immortality now: 
freedom from time, money, history and 
death. It also attempts to realize a gen- 
eral sharing of consciousness; in other 
words, collective immortality. 

“The basic unit of the culture.” one 
young man calling himself Billy Digger 
says, “would be the commune, 
house with one man and one woman 
in it. The commune would not be 
owned by one person or one group but 
would be open to all people at all 
times, to do whatever they wish to do in 
it" (In a different way, searching for 
communal immortality through violence, 
California's Hell's Angels and the Red 
Guards of Chi have been into the 
same thing: knocking down the uncles of 


the world and putting dunce caps on 
them.) 

If such movements appe: 
old-fashioned responsibility а 


tional modes of achievement, it is not 
surprising. The ideal of achievement has. 
to do with a reach for immortality. 
which, if you feel already in that state, 
even in simulation, is obviously no long- 
er necessary 

Yet, these starts at 
duding, glibly, sainuiness through vio- 
lence), whether genuine or make-believe, 
fail to hide the phenomenon of flight. 
Saintliness in our time will пог be able 
to generate corective measures against 
our one long-range problem, wl 


atly living (in- 


forms, it can only turn into 
short-term holding operation. Saintliness 
can further charity, farming and simple 
craftsmanship. It can create motorcycles 
for the road to nowhere. It can promote 
measures to 


another 


з 


The next step. 


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PLAYBOY 


create sweet afternoons with flowers, bal- 
loons and kites; and encourage people to 
draw closer to one another, But finally, 
the uses of saintliness are defensive, Re- 


technological inroads on the soul, 
they represent an attempt to deal with a 


neurotic industrial society by dropping 
өш of it. Possibly the goal of all these 
efforts is that of agrarian return, or re- 
turn to the small machine shop. 

But with all the love and kindness 
n the world, no agrarian retreat or 
machineshop rendezvous can prevail for 
long against the thought of death, except 
by encouraging the participants to ig- 
nore it—and as the body grows older, 
this cannot be done. The enlarged fami- 
lies of the "now" people will grow older. 
‘The measures they have undertaken аге 
not wrong but right before their time. 
They must be reserved for the day when 
we gain utopia beyond time. They are 
ciernally right but temporally inade- 
quate. For the near futur, dropout 
brotherhood will not be good enough, 
because the struggle against real death— 
аз opposed to the simulated death and 
rebirth experienced under LSD and the 
other psychedelics—requires training and 
must be fought out industrially and 
the laboratory. 

As for the psychedelic trip, no one 
should doubt that it can prove reward- 
ing, if it is not taken too far and too 
often. But resorted to as a complete way 
of life, it may hurt you in mysterious 
ways and achieve not much more than a 
temporarily helpful, and perhaps cow- 

rly, cracking of identity. What makes 
widespread psychedelic dropping out as 
alarming as it can be ік that—if the 
substances are used improperly—after а 
point, with each new voyage, return to 
the old identity and earthly purpose 
tends to seem increasingly less worth 
while, Tr identity can become a cross 
when it is formed too rigidly; but ego 
identity is also our main source of power 
in the world—and only by organizing 
the power of our protesting intelligence 
can we hope to bring about the death- 
free life man must have. 

Finally, by blowing their minds, young 
men and women hide from death. 


10 go through simulated death 
birth now and then, But too m 
ndiscriminately taken, сап lead to an 
unearned passivity, If passivity takes 
hold, this society, undesirable as it may 
em, will become far worse. Extremes of 
violence and mass passivity will build up, 
and when these two forces are polarized, 
violence nearly always wins. 

It has already started to win again. 
"The finest among us аге shot in the head 
by half-crazed and, above all, lonely indi- 
viduals. Not only assassins but the most 
idvanced elements of our younger socie- 
ty can no longer stand being alone. 
Youth's quiescent and largely drug- 
few years ago has 


quickly given to the New Lelt’s 
allout freedom through violence, But 
quite аран from the justice of its causes, 

5 evidenced by its massive 
cs, its theater, its enlarged 
formations, is moving toward 
ictly the same goal as that of the psy- 
chedelic muramıs—a collective and com- 
al escape from time and death. 

What happened is this: In the p 
quarter century. the public relations of 
death, as managed by theologians of all 
nd every secular orthodoxy, all 
exhausted the ancient excuses for 
t Miguel de Unamuno called “the 
running away of life like water.” Inter- 
estingly, the atomic bomb, LSD and the 
pill were developed at about the same 
time. Could this be the evolutionary cri- 
sis of our species? For centuries, men 
were able 10 hold omo their peace 
of mind by repetitive prayers, chants, 
rhythms and pstlms set to music. But 
repetition, beauty and music no longer 
possess the force to distract us from mean- 
inglessness. 

Today. we are in а race against time 

ing. as Maritain suggests, our own 
apocalypse. Ma exorable though 
hardly remorseless drive to divinity 
taking new, noninstitutionalized forms, 
This comes down to the simplest of 
propositions: The species must solve the 
problem of death very soon, blow itself 
up or blow its mind. 

Medical help is on the way, But so, 
too, are firepower and despair. АЙ have 
computer technology behind them, Any 
one of the three might win. Will medical 
advances to ате the aging of human 
tissues prevail over weaponry and mass 
psychosis? That has become the question 
of our time, and conceivably of all time. 

The immortalis position is that the 
usefulness of philosophy has come to an 
end, because all philosophy teaches ас 
commodation to death and grants it stat- 
ic finality as “the human condition." Ar 
too, insofar as it celebrates or merely 
bemoans our helplessness, has gone as far 
as it can, The beautiful device of tragedy 
ending in helplessness has become out 
moded in our absurd time, no longer 
lamorized. The 
ath with visual 
шу and celebrates it in music belongs 
to other centuries. 

It comes as по surprise that traditional 
forms of art are being shattered, with the 
editing and fixing of life no longer al- 
lowed. Our participation is demanded in 
these works; we cannot be spectators. 
The discotheque takes its place as an 
electric art form. We loosen our anxie 
ties with the help of enormous guitars in 
a temple of fragmentation. Kinetic and 
luminous forms that reach out and bring 
us into the action, declaimed poetry now 
so often set to music. multiple screens, 
Happenings that frequently involve orgy 
and obscenity—all have one purpose: to 


smash the separateness of everyone pres 


ent; to expose feeling and break through 
thinking, to make us live. in the phrase 
Watts has quoted from Ananda Қ. 
ту. "a perpetual uncalculat 
the present.” And all this, too, 
amounts 10 опе төге attempt to hide 
from the end—this time by substituting. 
Dionysian togetherness for romance. and 
a bombardment of the senses. lightworks 
of the soul, a sort of electronic Bud. 
dhism in place of sequential perception. 
In this environment, the lost self finds a 
comfort nd protective. nonexistence 
—if the self docs not really exist, it 
cannot be led. The use of егіс 
environment as an art form thus removes 
death, creating the illusion of an eternal 
now—an illusion in that it seems to 
uarantee eternal youth, which, of 
course, is what this generation is really 
alter. 

‘The immortalist thesis is that the time 
has come for man to get of the 
own head. It is 
time for him to grow up out of his 
cosmic inferiority complex (no more 
"dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou 
return"). bring his disguised desire into 
the open and go after what he wants, 
the only state of being he will settle for 
which is divinity. 

"The moment has come also to stop 
yielding to hysteria, or to its opposite 
extreme, sinking into indifference and 
ishionable despair. Action, not passion. 
is called lor to lift humanity out of this 
mortal predicament. 

We have circled the moon, harnessed 
nuclear energy, and now have the bio 
chemical means to control birth; why 
must death itself, called іп Z Corinthians 
“the last enemy," be considered sacred 
nd beyond conquest? A new act of faith 
is required of us: the kind of faith we 
might have had a few decades ago, and 
did not, when Dr. R. H. Goddard was 
bravely projecting his rockets into the 
atmosphere and a band of futurists was 
insisting that not just in comic strips bur 
in reality we could lift ourselves beyond 
any space that could be seen Irom the 
earth. This new faith we must havc is 
that with the technology at our disposal 
in the near future, death can be con- 
quered. This h must also weld salva 
tion to medical enginecring. We must 
drive away the gods of doubt and selt- 
punishment. 

Our new faith must accept as gospel 
that salvation belongs to medical engi 
neering and nothing else; that man's fate 
depends first on the proper management 
of his techi proficiency; that we cin 
only engineer our freedom from death, 
not pray for it; that our only messiahs 
will be wearing white coats, not in asy- 
lums but in chemical and biological lab- 
oratories. 


Man, it has been said, is DNA’s way 
of understanding itself, DNA, the 
deoxyribonudeicacid molecule whose 


“Miss Morgan, Га like you to know I'm not taking 
these cold showers because I'm dirty.” 


“Since Harry gave up smoking, he doesn't know 
what to do with his hands.” 


coiled threads, it appears, control not 
only all of us but all of Ше: We ош- 
selves have now reproduced it. In the 
words of biophysics professor Robert L. 
Sinsheimer of the California Institute of 
Technology: “We had made then in a 
test tube the DNA which could serve as 
the progenitor of an indefinitely long 
chain of progeny virus from this day on 
throughout time." In other words, the 
human race has at last performed the feat 
of reproducing its own substance. Or, in 
terms of our theme, the pretender to the 
throne of the gods has moved toward ge- 
netic control over his own future divinity. 

Has DNA planned its own transforma- 
поп all along? 1f our species has evolved 
from some such mysterious project, then 
energy must bc judged to have played a 
trick on its own naturc, and for all timc 
we have been the victims of this game. 

At some point. energy cither sur passed 
itself or possibly made a mistake by 
separating out and spinning off lide 
subcreations. Practically forever after, 
these varied units rhythmically assem- 
bled and fell apart—we now say "lived' 
and "died"—knowing nothing. All this 
was evidently not pointless. Whatever 
created life seems to haye improved its 
Capability through the living and dying 
of its separated forms. 

Thus, ме may sce ourselves as a fairly 
Іше development in energy's sell-improve- 
ment program. By way of consolation, 
some biologists believe death to have been 
an evolutionary device. Energy's differ- 
entiated little subcreations could not re- 
main immortal or there would have been 
no advance toward our present condition. 
Carrying this one step more, we may then 


224 bc programed to dic so that our descend- 


ants will eventually escape mortality and 
become gods. 

Such rangement may be conven- 
ient for DNA, but, unfortunately, the 
master plan must һауе gone awry as far 
as we are concerned. There has been a 
serious error in scheduling: We who 
live now have come down to the end of 
the river and find ourselves genetically 
deposited here before our intended time 
of arrival. This could be DNA's misc; 
culation: It carried us to the edge of 
lity too swiftly. And now the old. 
gods are gone. Technological- 

we haye been taken down to 

a wilderness surrounded by death. M: 
hers of the rebel species, refusing too 
soon to scrve any longer as evolution 
fodder, back up like a lost wagon train 
in a small clearing, with nowhere to go 
and with no weapons powerful enough 
to accomplish anything more than a de 
laying action against the end 

The error in programing occurred 
when DNA apparently lost control over 
the nice balance between man's supersti- 
tion and his scientific capability. If these 
forces had been brought down to the 
latc 20th Century more or less evenly, 
the species could triumphantly have 
thrown away its protective myths at pre- 
cisely the time it learned. how to arrest 
the aging of its own cells. 

The problem becomes one of negotiat- 
ing the hazardous years between now 
and the time when indefinite living— 
freedom from inevitably growing old— 
will be made possible. How to manage it, 
with the race's powers of self-deception 
critically impaired? DNA has chosen to 
put the idea of the deepfreeze into our 
heads. This conception, identified particu- 
larly with Professor Robert С, W. Ettin- 


ger and promoted by recently emerging 
cryonics societies in the United States 
and France, calls for freczing the newly 
dead (and later on, when humanity gets 
used to it, freezing people about to die), 
rather than burying or incinerating 
them, in order that these ind ls may 
be revived at some time in the future, as 
soon as technological means to do so have 
been developed and, of course, when a 
cure for the fatal disease has been found. 
The prospect of cryonic suspension 
has been covered by rrAvnov (especially 
in Intimations of Immortality, by Fred- 
erik Pohl, June 1964) and by Ettinger in 
numerous television appearances. But 
odds in favor of survival by this means 
remain, for the time being, very long. 
Ettinger himself has declared that frcez- 
ing oflers “а chance of debatable magni 
tude, but nevertheless some chance. 
More important, the surfacing of such 
an idea at a critical time іп history 
reveals the tremendous force of our de- 
jon somehow to become gods. 
h probably trapped, we ought. 
never to underestimate ourselves. The 
itional gen- 


about a gung-ho 
arge into oblivion. We will be ingen- 
ious. What we are about to do, as soon 
as we assemble our talent and plan prop- 
erly, is, first of all, to mount a cont 
ing research assault on the processes th 
cause us to grow old and dic. The fol- 
lowing is from the June 9, 1907, New 
York Post 


SCIENTIST SEES AN END 10 NATURAL 
DEATH 

(&P)—A much- 
honored engineer predicts that by 
1980 man may be able to choose in 
advance the sex of his children and 


slow down his own aging. 
in the future, writes 


Still further 
Dr. Augustus B. Kinzel in the 
current issue of Science magazine, 
man may, by controlling hereditary 
factors, create supermen and abol- 
ish death from natural causes en- 
Urb. 

After a long career in applied 
engineering, Kinzel now is president 
of the Salk Institute for Biologi 
Studies, San Diego. . 

Looking into the long-term fu- 
une, Kinzel predicts that “we will 
be really able to manipulate the 
DNA molecule and predetermine 
hered 

“We will lick the problem of ag- 
ing completely, so that accidents will 
be essentially the only cause of 
death..." 


Can such optimism be just 
arroll Williams, professor of 
Harvard, famous for developing a "juve- 
nile hormone" that has prolonged the 
life of American Polyphemus moths, is 


quoted by Robert Prehoda in Designing 
the Future as believing that “the day is 
not too far distant when we will be able 
to treat senescence as we now know how 
to treat pneumonia.” 

Prehoda also offers the meticulously 
qualified prophecy of an eminent author- 
ity o ng, Dr. Alex Comfort, director 
of the Medical Research Council at Uni- 
versity College in London: 


Once we get moving, the rate of 
scientific progress in life extension 
might conceivably become so rapid 
that, provided one was young 
enough lor treatment, one might 
hope for a series of life-extending 
bonuses 


The study of aging (for some reason, 
many specialists prefer the Latin form 
senescence) goes back to alchemy. It is 
also one of our newer, leastorganized 
sciences. Gerontology has become its 
proper name, with geriatrics referring to 
the treatment of debilitating symptoms 
common 10 old people. Currently, the 
field—hardly yet a discipline—finds itself 
in a state of enlightened confusion. The 
enlightenment, of a negative sort, arises 
from the awareness that we do not really 
know our enemy, һауе not even agreed 
upon a definition of senescence and have 
only the vaguest understanding of its 
underlying processes. 

Part of the difficulty has stemmed from 


а dearth of support. The most gi 
estimates, according to Prehod: 
that only one percent of the 
research funds available in the United 
States been allocated to aging 
studies. As of January 1967. he reported 
in Designing the Future that the Child 
Health and Human Development Inst 
tute of the National Institutes of Health, 
the Government agency responsible for 
funding gerontological research, was sup- 
porting grants explicitly for fundamental 
studies on biological aging totaling about 
$8,000,000 per year. (During 1967, the 
three leading producers of canned and 
packaged dog food in the United States 
—General Foods, Ralston Purina and 
together spent $19,700,000 
advertising in all media for this ргой- 
uct alone) 

There are now a few signs of change. 
In June 1968, for example, a $7,500,000 
Gerontology Research Center was opened 
in Baltimore by the Child Health and 
Human Development Institute. The re- 
search center—under the direction of the 
man who has been called the dean of 
aging research, Dr. Nathan W. Shock— 
was designed for a staff of 300 researchers 
and an attached 38-bed research dini 

The processes of development and aj 
ing remain mysterious, but by no me 
hopelessly so. For instance, in à 1 
way. we already know how to 


with them 


The life span of Laboratory 


nimals can be extended by four 
methods; (1) underfeeding, (2) the in- 
hibition of “free radicals" (oxidizing 


agents in the body), (8) immunosup- 
pression (inhibiting the destructive ac 
tivities of antibodies), (4) poikilothermy 
(cooling of body temperature). 
‘The classic experiment disproving the 
bility of a fixed life span was 
performed in 1034 by Dr. Clive M 
McCay at Cornell. By subjecting rats to 
tional deprivation—feeding them a 
proper amount of vitamins, minerals and 


proteins but a greatly reduced number 
of calories—he slowed down their rate of 
maturing and also extended their life 
spans. In some instances, rats whose 


growth had been retarded lived twice as 
long as those maturing on a standard 
diet. According to Chemical and Engi- 
neering News: 


After 1000 days, the underfed rats 
still looked young, while the normal- 
ly fed ones seldom lived more than 
965 days. Some of the starved rats 
lived as long as 1400 days. . . . As 
one of his prime contributions, Dr. 
McCay showed that the known max- 
imum life span of rats was not the 
upper limit rigidly set by heredity. 

Other research workers have 
found that the lives of silkworms, 


IMPORTED RARE SCOTCH 


BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY EIGHTY PROOF IMPORTED BY WIR HOUSE DISTALERS. LTO, РАА. 


225 


PLAYBOY 


226 


fruit flies, bees. chickens and other 

animals can be prolonged by under- 

feeding. 

What may be a remarkable develop- 
ment along the same line of research was 


nounced оп Oaober 27, 1961, by the 
into Company. Dr. Richard 5 


t was disclosed. succeeded in 
nd 


resting the growth of baby chicks 

e altogether, suspending their physi 

al maturation over a period of from 
10 nine months. When the amino 
acid, tryptophan, was reduced to 15-25 
percent of the normal daily require- 
ment, baby chicks and newly weaned 
mice simply stopped developing. As soon 
as the imbalance was corrected, they r 
turned to normal growth processes, ma- 
turing without ill effects. 

"The Gordon experiments bear out an 
observation by Dr. McCay following 
earlier study with brook trout in 1097 
‘something was consumed in growth 
is essential for the maintenance of 
life.” That something, whatever it may 


be, evidently disappears. Tryptophan 
deprivation in the Monsanto laboratory. 
prolonged life only insofar as it delayed 


maturity. This avenue of research does 
allow us to entertain one fantasy. If 
underfeeding of опе kind or another can 


also somedity indefinitely delay the physi- 
cal maturing of human  beings—while 
the accumulation of experience and 
formation continues—we might conceiv- 
ably produce a grouping of “immortal” 
boy-men and girlwomen. held inde 
initely in early childhood or on the 
brink of adolescence, with formidable, 
ever-growing intelligences and the bedies 
of children. For such an clite group, of 
course, once its members chose to release 
themselves from the biological suspen- 
sion, the onset of maturity would m 
rejoining the human race and ап irrevo- 
cable commitment to the mortal life span. 

Biochemist Denham Harman of the 
University of Nebraska Medical School 
has called attention to a “striking” pro- 
longation of life among male mice fed 
with diet including an antioxi- 
dant chemical, butylated hydroxytoluene 
(BHT). The median life span of a short- 
lived strain of mice was extended over 50 
percent by this diet. Harman thinks that 
oxidizing agents in the body t 
such aging changes as harder 
arteries. The addition of similar chemi- 
cals to а man's diet, he believes, may 
become "am acceptable, practical means 
of significantly asing his useful life." 
mising experiment in immuno- 


"You may wonder why I'm demanding money from 
you under the threat of violence. Perhaps a few 
words about myself will help explain matters. 1 was 
born to a middle-class family forty-two years аса... г 


suppression. conducted by Dr. Roy 1. 
Walford, professor of pathology at 
UCLA, has resulted so far in a 20-30 per 
cent prolongation of life in longer-lived 
mouse strains. An older line of research, 
that of poikilothermy. has demonstrated 
many times that the life span сап be ex- 
tended at lower temperatures. Animals 
that hibernate, in cool sleep, live longer 
than related groups. Annual fish kept 
16 degrees centigrade live about twice as 
long as those kept at 22 degrees centi- 
grade. Fence rds of New England live 
two years; in Florida, one year. It has 
been suggested that a drug to lower sleep- 
ing temperature by two degrees might 
extend the human life span; by how 
much is not certain. 

Today, gerontology appears to be a 
science waiting for its Einstein, someone 
who will establish a structure of agreed. 
upon first principles. Or possibly, even 
more important, a sudden advance will 
be achieved in the study of aging by a 
researcher like Sir Alexander Fleming, 
happening to notice mold growing in а 
contamer on the window sill or labora- 
tory shelf. Perhaps, too, a young Kor 
zybski will be needed to help pin down 
the essence of each new theory, to deter 
mine how much it really differs from all 
the others. 

The student of aging, engaged in a 
combined fight for life and bounty hunt, 
will find good reasons to become discour 
aged. The human body turns out to be 
such an unstable 1cpusitur y of ills. Muv- 
ing out from what he imagines to be 
secure base of understanding, he cnco 
ters one mystery after another. Every- 
where he finds impossibilities. From all 
sides voices warn, caution and discourage 
him. Now and then he passes by the en- 
campments of older specialists, who ai 
ng their heads in bafflement. All over 
the jungle, blind men seem to be fecling 
an elephant, and this immense mystery 
of the slowly dying body endures. 

Yet he will keep on. In „ he will 
have new weapons more powerful and 
precise than the laser or the electron 
microscope. Sooner or later, with persist- 
ence, he can practically count on luc) 
Somewhere inside the tangle of specul: 
tion and error researcher is going to 
stumble across a clue. 

The young gerontologist must not let 
himself be int lated. He will of 
course, listen to his seniors, and learn 
from them, but he will also find that 
they contradict one another, have not 
discovered very much and need him. As 
Dr. Comlort observed 12 years ago, dui 
ing a symposium on aging held at Gatlin- 
burg, Tennessee: “The more we beat the 
drums of senescence to students, the more 
we will find out.” 

Even though emergency action is nced- 


ed—for the races emotional health 
depends on it—advances toward the ulti- 
mate prevention of death are bound to 


be tentative and slow. Help will almost 


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surely arrive too late for everyone now 
alive. 

The frozen casket does hold out a 
faint promise, and curently the only 
promise, of survival. Another hope might 
be that of regenerating a person someday 
from the preserved snipping of his own 
flesh. But these offer faraway prospects. 
with the present chance of our returning 
to consciousness seemingly quite remote. 
In the face of unadorned death, now or 
tomorrow, how will we content our- 
selves? 

First, we must live one day at a time 
and hope for one piece of good luck at a 
time. This means looking forward to the 
prolongation of life. someday to become 
the prelude to indefi 
mortality itself, It means going after— 
perhaps for peace of mind even count 

"series of lifeextending bonus- 


PLAYBOY 


on—the “se 
cited by Dr. Comfort. These се 
ly are not out of reach; some, 
crude form, we already have with u 
such as the implanting of new hei 
and, in time, all of the body's j 
organs—eventually without fear of tissue 
rejection. Progress in this ficld has al- 
ly moved beyond the most cuphoric 
expectations of, say, five years ago. For 
се, the recent recommendation by 
а special faculty committee at Harvard 
that the medical community redefine 
death in terms of irreversible brain dam- 
age, even though the heart continues to 
beat, will undoubtedly help clear the 
10 the көшіне transplanuion of 
" organ: 
By such means—the ual growing 
of duplicate organs for cach of us in 
ination of substances that 
ken aging. such as Harman's free 
als, [rom the everyday diet; and by 
other measures that. if the past is any 
indication, will unexpectedly be revealed 
at some forthcoming medical conference 
—we may arrive at a legitimate hope. 
Intensified research сап prolong life 
Wl buy time for everyone. Whenever 
you buy time, you buy a new geometric 
progression of medical advances, The 
prolongation of life buys discoveries not 
yet known. Over two or three decades, in 
fact, you will probably find yourself liv- 
ing in an entirely new medical frame of 
се. In successive decades, your life 
have been saved by sulfanilamide. 
cortisone, reserpine. Today, if 
y п buy 50 years, you may look for- 
ward to more than a prayer of buyi 
eternity, Even 15 to 25 years, with good 
luck, could provide booster shots well into 
the 21st Century. And at some just 
beyond a horizon that is no longer re 
ceding, extensions of life will, with luck, 
merge into an immortal present. 

Then we will have nothing less than 
the self-created mutation of a species 
achieved by its own members, who re- 
fused to be victims of a master design. 
Man's disguised drive to immort. 

228 at last have prev 


destiny. Born to die, the rebel will have 
aken a stand against his own nature, 
said "No!" to his own faulty cells and 
intermanded the lower-level evolu- 
ary orders that consigned him (0 
oblivion. The simulated death and re- 
birth rhythms moving through all the 
life we know may be scen in retrospect 
as those of a species in labor, giving 
birth to a divine form of itself. 

Our conception of immortality now 
requires precise definition. What must 
be eliminated from the human situation 
is the mevitability of death as a result 
nd natural end of the aging process. 
I am speaking of the inescapable para- 
bolic arching from birth to death. We 
must clearly understand that any given 
ol life—my individual istence 
and yours—can never be guaranteed cter- 

ity. Our special idem lways be 
ject to being hit by a truck or dying 
e crash; a sudden virus or heart 
seizure, even in the body's newly re- 
gained youth, may carry us off. But the 
important thing will be to free ourselves 
not from the random chance of dying. 
which is fair enough, but from the cer- 
inty of death. Experi 
immortality is the state of being alive 
now, ungoverned by span, cycle or 
inevitability 

This pursuit of death's secret should 
not be undertaken glumly, We will press 
on but avoid crabbed fanaticism, hunting 
down the quarry with exuberance and, 
pove all, with relief that our disguised 
desire has come out in the open, The 
primary source of our fears, and of all 
evil and meanness afflicting the human 
spirit, has been acknowledged and pub- 
licly identified. It was death all the time, 
ad nothing else. What a fabulous liber- 
ion not merely to know but to realize 
that! Anxiety falls ам The main 
point is that in understanding what we 
fear, we may perhaps act less violently 
ainst one another and direct our ag- 
pressions against death itself. 

‘The false gods to whom the immortal- 
ity hunter formerly bowed down will be 
reduced to artifacts, He no longer 
injure his fellow men in the struggle for 
the gods imaginary favors. The Comput 
er of Excellence will have vanished and 
the pathetic and vainglorious competi- 
tion to ring up scores for the record will 
come to an end. The old mathematics of 
retribution will stand exposed as an 
empty threat of our own making. 

Meaninglessness—the state of mind 
that currently renders humanity either 
inert or vicious—will make no more 
trouble. We will have something to do. 
Our mission will be simply, first, to at 
tack death and all of its natural causes 
re for immortality, 
or the state of indefinite living. which is 
the divine state. To become divine will 
mea Tast the freedom to play етеп 
ly beyond death's shadow. 

But there remains the catch: Members 


and, second, to prepa 


of the transitional generations will al- 
most surely not live to experience the 
immortal state. Knowing this, we will 
have to psych ourselves, like athletes, 
into a superior performance. This could 
begin with a self-congratulatory religion, 
her th humbling one. We may 
spread abroad a new faith honoring our 
e instead of punishing it for an imagi 
nary primal crime. Through our efforts, 
we honor the human species by helping 
to turn it into the divine species. 

We may fairly consider ourselves the 
heroes and heroines of the evolutionary 
proces. Our grandchildren and great- 
grandchildren will look back and know 
that we, the last of the old mortals, held 
the world together even in the full 
knowledge that death was waiting for us. 
We did not blow our minds after all, 
nor. out of frustration and forsakenness 
blow up the planet, destroying their in 
heritance We showed the grace not to 
take revenge for our own permanent loss 
Бу imposing snicide on mankind. These 
will be reasonable enough grounds for 
self-worship, and will permit us all indul- 
genecs, so that during the final hours of 
the hunt, we may enjoy every pleasure 
that mortal life has to offer. 

What we are hunting, and hope to 
secure for our grandchildren, is really 
nothing less than the longpromised 
kingdom ol heaven, The Gospel Accord- 
ing lo Matthew—which may be accepted 
as an evolutionary foretelling warns 
that the Kingdom of God will come as а 
“Watch therefore, 
Matthew counsels us, "for ye know not 
what hour your Lord doth come.” 

He will a caravan with cer 
precious medicines. Meanwhile, we 
у at least start planning the utopia 
to follow. 


1t is said that men and women will go 
mad in the face of eternity and—with 
infinite time ahead of them—lie around 
like lowis-caters, succumb to indolence 
and despair, give up work projects, сез 
to love because there is no urgency, and 
finally kill each other through sheer 
boredom. 

Alan Watts has bemoaned the "terri- 
ble monotony of everlasting pleasure” 
nd conjectured that “there would be no 
joy in being alive save in relation to the 
awesome prospect of death.” The Russi 
Orthodox philosopher Nikolai Berdyaev 
refers 10 “evil infinity.” These fears 
are understandable but based on old. 
style temporal thinking. They arise from 
the surprisingly Western assumption, for 
Watts, that scarcity and urgency are re 
quired to make people do 
True, with death the fact, 
organized their activities to race the su 
set, hoping to rise above the human 
condition and escape judgment. But 
with death no longer the fact, another 
kind of man will cvolve—a man whose 
nervous system (after a period of 


PLAYBOY 


230 


adjustment) will have been freed of 
anxiety. Having no clock to race and 
nothing to prove, ne man will 
be free to play, with no more fear of 
football or base- 
lamb or a puppy. 
Besides, in the immortalist state, the 
us of eternity will be living on 
different levels of time, taking part in 
one historical game or another as they 
please, Since endless existence on а sin- 
gle plane would, indeed, be a bore, the 
utopia beyond time will extend the Hin 
du conception so beautifully adapted to 
Western concerns in Hermann Hesse's 
Steppenwolf: that each of us can, if we 
try, lead many lives in one. Most men, 
like the Steppenwolf of the novel, live 
out only a tiny portion of their potential 
existence, The Hindu model, following 
Buddha's journey, provides for a life in 
which the traveler plays successive roles: 
that of student, youthful explorer in the 
wilderness, rake and wastrel, merchant, 
family man, hermit and, finally, beggar 
and holy man. Through these stages, the 
soul progresses toward the unknowable 


and one day (it is pretended), with luck, 
will escape the eternal return. 

In the immortalis view, 
elaborate fake: The eternal return is 
desperately wanted. It can be made pos 
sible in our world beyond death and 
time by a system of designed sleeps and 
programed reincamations. Techniques of 
freezing or administered hibernation wi 
permit us to тем for designated periods 
in between an endless variety of lives 
and careers. In eternity—always except 
ing the possibility of accident—men and 
women will have Ше chance to live out 
all the unlived lives and travel the un- 
traveled paths that they wish they had 


this is an 


ng that the aging of cells and 
has been arrested and can һе 


tissues 
reversed during the period of sleep, 


the body may be returned to whatever 
ge the person desires—presumably, this 
side of puberty, since a return to physical 
childhood might well prove to be impos- 
sible, The individual may rest in peace 


for 10, 20, 75 years, or for centuries, 


“Most men lead lives of quiet 
desperation, but not my Oliver.” 


ned to his new exist- 


before being 
enc 

By such means, each of us may pursue 
lost dreams and careers, becoming doc- 
tor, space explorer, artist, athlete, scien- 
tist—fleshing out in free play all of the 
myths that have ever occurred to man- 
kind, bı Apollo. Diony- 
sius, Loki, Gilgamesh, Helen, the Wife 
of Bath and Isadora Duncan. And if we 
lack the talent to carry off one role or 
the other—being, say, a mediocre athlete 
or actor 100 years from now as well as 
today—well, then, we will have had our 
шу, and perhaps failed; but the penalty 
for failure will not be annihilation from 
the world’s memory, as we now fear. 
‘There will always be fresh chances to 
project our being in new ways 

There will no longer be one linear 
istory of the species. History will not be 
going anywhere in particular. Instead, 
we ve in a mosaic of histories, 
crossing over from one to another in 
each incarnation, “Side-by-side” lives will 


go on in separate frames of reference, 
like circus acts under the same tent 
Executing their mythic patierns, people 


will be in different phases of exploration 
and different blocks of time. Imagine a 
group of friends—one in his уошршагу 
stage, another scientifically obsessed, a 
mystical and contemplative, 
fourth all business. A century later, they 
might шесі and find their roles 
changed. Or an individual dedi 
exploits in his last incarnation might 
seck to rest and reflect, Arising from his 


cool sleep, he might then enjoy an inter- 
lude as teacher and scholar, and devote 
imself for the next 50 years to tending, 


watching over and guiding the life lines 
of others. 

Part of the population will be playing. 
these varied world games, another part 
hibernating and a third part engaged in 
ing, briefing or debrief- 
i in between lives. The one who has 
just “waked up" will not, of course, be a 
child, but in his new surroundings—dec- 
des or centuries later—he will be as a 
child, requiring re-education for the new 
scene into which he has been reborn, The 
reorientation will not only acquaint him 
with utopia’s current ground rules, cul- 
tural and scientific developments that 
have taken place since he went to sleep, 
nd news of this sort; it will also be 
designed to prepare him for new emo- 
tional settings in the lifetime to come. 
Eternity will nds of ti 
nd possibi as cach 
jirth confronts the traveler with dif- 
ferent game values. Each time, he will 
haye to care about new things; even if 
there is no death, he should not feel 
completely secure. For men turned into 
gods, stress and anxiety in reasonable 
nounts must be provided— 
ficial gravity in a spaceship. 

Our present-day faith in games should 
carry us through. For divine people, the 


some sort of trai 


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questions of why we are here, why we 
exist, will he unimportant. Once we have 
learned to move in and out of different 
kinds of time at will, the “meaning of 
life" becomes our business, not that of a 
cosmic authority that has refused to re- 
veal itself. As gods, we no longer ask 
ibout meaning; we determine it. We 
make the rules and are meaning. Life 
has become our sport, like football, 
which simply is and has no reason why. 
In their ontological significance, comets, 
rocks, dust and solar flares do not concern 
us, except as matter to be controlled. We, 
the individual forms through which the 
river of energy passes, are responsible for 
our own significance. With the conquest 
of aging to death, we will have qualified 
10 become our awn deities, lords of crea- 
tion by default, fully able to dictate life's 
meaning as we sce fit. 

Yet, without the pressure of time pass 
ing (and the idea that we have only one 
life to live), might not our drive to create, 
learn and explore wither for lack of 
urgency? Perhaps. Conceivably, with life 
ending in a temporary slumber rather 
than in death, we would not try as hard 

5 so many of us do now—pushing for 
salvation achieved by scores registered 


PLAYBOY 


оп the imaginary cosmic machine, But 
trying hard, in itself, is not an absolute 
Іше, nor progress an eternal ideal. Im- 


К 
mortality has always been the ultimate 
goal of progress. Once death has been 
rendered obsolete for our species, the 
journey along that old road will be un- 
necessary, except for pleasure. Beyond 
time and death, all creative play will be 
gratuitous and accomplishment 
field, or in any game, an act of exuber- 
ance, rather than a duty. There will be 
no moral need to create, learn or explore, 
ny more than we need to go skiing or 
skindiving. Yet think how many make a 
virtual religion out of these forms of free 
play. 

It true that we could eventually 
grow tired of our games, but not for 
many lifetimes, Meanwhile, a greater 
danger to the utopia beyond time will be 
likely to come from a lingering physio- 
logical disorientation: For many cen- 
turies, the body may not realize that 
parabolic aging to death is no longer 
threat, It may continue reacting to the 
human condition that doesn't exist any 
longer. During this period, liberation 
from death may make our nervous sys- 
tems uncasy, Vestigial fears and reactive 
ressions may contend in the individ- 
ms. Under this kind of stress, 
quents may go as lar as to 

attempt a disruption of paradise and 
even try to bring back death, perhaps by 
means of random murders. 

‘The immortalist view is that the ear- 
ly feeling of disorientation in eternity 
would not Jead to such evil extremes or, 
in any event, that incidents of this kind 
would probably be rare. Since, as far 

232 we know, the desire to injure others 


relates to onc's own fear of death, most 
rebels beyond time would stop short of 
killing. (By this time, of course, chemical 
control of personality [as detailed іп 
Psychochemistry: Personality by Pre- 
scription, hy Ernest Havemann, PLAYBOY, 
November 1968] will be possible, but we 
are assuming, or hoping, that in the im- 
mortalist state such control would be 
used sparingly, only to upgrade intelli- 
gence or, as st resort, to prevent 
psychopathic violence.) 

To be on the safe side, facsimiles of 
conflict must be devised for nervous 
systems temporarily disoriented by the 
bolition of death. Nervously aggressive 
Is should be encouraged to com- 
pete in tournaments, offered dangerous 
assignments, for example, in exploration 
and permitted to take part in institution- 
ed bloodletting. If the x 
attracts these people, so be it, Let there 
be chivalric games with artificial dragons. 

For less extreme but still normally 
competitive men and women, the illu- 
sion of ratings will continue to be esse 
tial Reflexively showing off before the 
old gods, even though immortality has 
been won, they may come back in all 
their incarnations— playing a succession 
of human seasons within the divine 
framework. as athletes return year after 
усаг to play in the National and Ameri- 
can leagues, with the ups and downs of 
their career averages and their standings 
in the sky recorded. through eternity by 
our utopian statisticians. 
rdinators of the world societies 
will be restricted to one term, one life- 
time of authority, so that a self-perpei 
ating bureaucracy can make no bid for 
eternal power. The trust assigned to 
them will be to kcep watch over all 
wheels of being. They will make sure 
that the interests of the basket weavers 
and the atomic scientists do not interfere 
with one another, and that space rugby 
teams do not drop the ball amid flocks 
of sheep. The governing cadres must 
serve as spiritual traffic consultants and 
guardians of the eternal return, as edu 
tors and. keepers of every history. They 
will maintain a record of all develop- 
ments, advances and setbacks. Most im- 
portant, they are to be charged with 
creating simulations of bygone events 
that the newly awakened voyager might 
want to reexper part of his edu- 
ion the nest time around. 

In a world beyond death, there will 
probably be more nonconformists than 
ever before. Great numbers of such people 
тау choose to live outside of history 
together and spend their days garden- 
ing, nd tending 
Others will reject eternal life, preferring 
to mature and die in the old way; and 
certainly no attempt will be made to 
change their minds. With severe over- 
population problems likely in the earlicr 
years, the more citizens who opt for 
mortality, the easier it will be for every- 


one else. (By the time physical immortal- 
ity is possible, in those underdeveloped 
nations where overpopulation was still a 
very real problem in the Sixties, survival 
will have necessitated a total attack on 
its root causes: ignorance, religion and 
superstition, nationalist political doc- 
trine and machismo, the need to prove 
manhood. In the United States, Japan 
and parts of Europe, where such causes 
are on their way to being overcome, 
birth rates have already started to de- 
dine. Besides, not every savant detects 
an overwhelming emergency in this re- 
gard. “Fortunately,” R. Buckminster 
Fuller observed a few years ago, "popula- 
tion explosion is only the momentary 
social hysteria’s cocktail conversation 
game. Real population crisis is [unda 
mentally remote. There is room enough 
indoors in New York City for the whole 
1963 world's population to enter, with 
oom enough inside for all hands to 
dance the wist in average nightclub 
proximity. There is ample room in the 
New York streets for one half of the 
world’s population to amble about in, 
leaving room enough inside buildings 


for the other half to lie down and 
sleep. . - 7) 
Children in the immortalist state wi 


be treated as immigrants, requiring vis 
to be admitted to the new society. This 
should cause no great hardship for any- 
опе. After all, we have children mainly 
to perpetuate genetic repetitions of our 
selves in eternity, to "keep the family 
going." Now, when we can move into an 
indefinitely extended future ourselves, im 
person, the longing to have child 
may, for many couples, be moderated. 
And if the aging process has been stal 
lized, why hurry? With indefinite time 
ahead, the parentsto-be can well afford 
to wait until the attrition of the acci- 
dental dead leaves an opening. 

In these circumstances, children will 
become a welcome and beloved minority 
treated with great tenderness by every 
one. Born free of time and death, the 
newcomers will probably form а slightly 
different class, having no memory of the 
old days, when people fell sick and died. 
The veterans who knew time and death 
and barely escaped it will regale these 
beautiful and fortunate young people 
with tales of that bygone purgatory. 

i ist state, the nature of 
love as we know it will almost necessarily 
change. Already in transition today, love 
will have nothing much to do with social 
contracts nor have a form supposed to 
last forever. All erotic events сап take 
place free of time and can last indef 
initely. In fact, some people might choose 
to spend an entire incarnation in onc 
stupendous erotic event. Andrew Mar- 
vell's vision summoned up for his coy 
mistress—" Had we but world enough and 
time, this coyness, lady, were no crime’ 
—will suddenly come true, und it will be 


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PLAYBOY 


234 


possible for our love to grow 
empires, and more slow. 

If love—especially romantic love—has 
been attempting to share consciousness 
in a simulated eternity, what will hap- 
pen to it in real eternity? If love now 
serves to stop time, what will be its role 
when time and aging have. in fact, been 
stopped? If Jove has conveyed a longing 
for rebirth our of time, how will it 
when rebirth into many successive lives 
is routinely guaranteed? More often 
than not, the individual will probably 
pursue а new way of loving. Hence, if 
marriage in its present form should sur- 
e the conquest of death (which it very 
well may not), the best arrangement will 
probably be for the contract between 
husband and wife to terminate automat- 
ically after each existence. This offers no 
problem to the couple who have been 
happy together in their last incarnation: 
A simple renewal of marriage vows can 
unite them as young man and woman 
together again a lifetime later. 


The young man coming down the 
road may be one’s grandfather, and the 
old man nearing his time of sleep one’s 
son. In ctcrnity—assuming that members 
of the family still want to communi 
with one another—the son and the grand- 
son will sometimes be "older" than the 
reborn father. With reference to a given 
incarnation, they may be more experi- 
enced and wiser and, therefore, unhesi- 
tatingly counsel the fledgling parent. 
‘The old lament “If youth knew, if age 
could . . .” will be forgotten and, since 
no man or woman will rcally be older 
than another, traditional authority, in 
and ош of the family, will give way to 
brotherhood. But sooner or later, the 
small unit that we know now will be 
likely to break apart. Expanded familics 
of 20 or more, increasingly common 
among younger people, may become the 
rule, Yet, though we go on to live in dif- 
ferent blocks of time, family records will 
arefully maintained through the cen- 


“Whatever it is, they've stocked this 


pond with some fighters 


turies—to avoid an orphaned feeling and 
to prevent inbreeding. 

Even when we no longer age and die, 
the need to worship some sort of myster 
will undoubtedly remain. What symbols 
then will represent the essential mystery? 
This is impossible to forecast, but the 
children of eternity may worship vari 
tions of luck, or that which cannot be 
controlled. There will be no point in 
worshiping anything else, since they w 
have everything else. Or, if they do not 
possess it, they will have endless time to 
пу for it, But luck—the only thing that 
can kill them—will be different; and for 
this reason, they may go down on their 
knees belore it. 

‘The philosopher will revere rhe prin- 
сіре of indeterminacy, Others ma 
conduct ceremonies before the future 
lent of a giant slot mac 
roulette wheel. This curious and enigmat- 
ic element, the mystery of luck containing 
through all eternity the chance of death 
—perhaps, beyond time, offering the 
hematical certainty of a terminal ac 
cident—will probably, as suggested саг. 
lier, fascinate many members of the race 
and tempt them into strange deeds dar 
ing annihilation. This in no way con- 
travencs immortzdist. principles, since it 
is the onccamavoidable passage through 
aging and illness into oblivion that will 
have been rendered obsolete, not the 
voluntary risking of death if the spirit so 


pleases. 
Berdyaev has suggested that “the 
crowning point of world creation is 


the end of this world. The world must 
be turned into an image of beauty, it 
must be dissolved in creative ecstasy.” 


This hardly seems desirable or neces 
sary. Why should the world be dissolved 


at all? Because the writer himself is 
going to die—for no other reason. Göt- 
lerddmmerungs need not be invoked, no 
matter how beautiful, True, in thc im- 
mortalist stare, death might occasionally 
be summoned. It is conceivable that an 
older traveler, tired of his divinity—aft 
having lived out dozens of lives and 
explored. every desire—could slip from 
personal to general consciousness and 
drift into his longsought nirvana with 
eyes. The individual would give h 
up and simply rest. He would not be a 
fixed person anymore and he would cai 
only to sleep. A sweet weariness might 
pervade his being. Then his eyes would 
Close, not in forced death but in volun. 
tary leave-taking, because he had lived 
enough. 

Such an ending gives mystical satisfac 
tion. But the prospect is also that th 
sweet suicide might never appeal to him. 
He could perfectly well 
without apology or cont 
ment of himself—and, after cach life 
cycle and period of sleep, look forward 
to beginning again, always to begin 


the Chimeras 


(continued from page 146) 
but the chimeras? It 
know,” he said gently. 

‘Of course it is," Anderson said. "How 
can you not be obsessed with chimeras 
when they arc after your blood?" 

‘Well. that doesn't get us anywhere, 
Dr. Grob said, wondering whether he 
should continue with this patient. But 
most patients nowadays were obsessed 
with chimeras, and he had to make а 
living. His parlor was full of beautiful 
stuffed lions, and they cost a lot of 
money. 

“No, it doesn't,” said Anderson. “Not 
until [ succeed in convincing you that in 
world that is being taken over by the 
chimeras. to be obsessed with chimer: 
a healthy, normal state of mind. 

n obsession can never be called 
normal," said Dr, Grob. 

“Do you deny that the chimeras exist?" 
asked Anderson. 
yes and no," Dr. Grob said 
patiently. “I do not question the facts, 
We are faced with a genetic mutation on 
a statistically significant scale, which has 
produced some of the phenomena to 
which you refer in such unscientific and 
wildly exaggerated terms. It is further 
admitted that some of the mutants seem 
to be carriers of an unusual type of virus 
that effects similar transformations in the 


n obsession, you 


ut you yourself have caught the 
infection." Anderson repeated. stubborn- 


“All right, then, I am infected," said 
Dr. Grob quictly. “Tell mc who, in your 


"Everybody is. Only the grades vary. 
There are seventeen grades. In thc 
higher grades, the blind spot expands 
and the infectee сап по longer sec the 
changes in himself and in others. A chi- 
mera looks to another chimera like a 
normal person. 

“АП right, you have explained ай u 
to me before. Who, in your opinion, is 
fected 
am no 
s it not rather strange that you are 
the only опе?” 

“It is a tragedy. I would be much 
happier if I developed a blind spot." 

“But if you are the only sane person, 
why do you want treatment? 

Anderson looked at the doctor slyly. 

told you I would be much happier 
if J, too, had a blind spot. Just a tiny 
опе. Life would be much pleasanter’ 
ic to me, not to be 
cured, but to be made insane?” 


“Youre rubbing me the wrong way again.” 


Not exactly insane. Just a tiny blind 
spot. Life is unbearable when you sec 
ly what's going on around you." 


tation. “Supposing that time were speed- 
ing up in our part of the universe by 
some relativistic quirk. Then all the 
clocks would be ticking faster and faster 
and our pulses would quicken at the 
same rate, so no clockmaker or physician 
would be aware of whats happening. 
ӛсе?" 

No. I don't," said Dr. Grob gruffly. 
But how can you help me, if you 
t understand?" Anderson shouted. 
“The infection is spreading faster and 
faster. What do you intend to do?” 

“I intend to cure you," said Grob, 
“because that is my job. Integration of 
the personality. Adjustment 10 society. 
Accept your fellow beings and they will 
cept you. Cooperate. Learn to respond. 
in a positive way.” 

“What is the positive 


doi 


“The opposite of the negative 
Dr. Grob said, and rose awkwardly from 
his chair. His head, with the tumbled 
mane, seemed top-heavy. "I am afraid 
the hour is up; but before you go, 1 
want you to meet my assistant. He 
over when I am on vacation." 

He pressed a bell and a blond young 
man with a pleasant smile came in. 
"This is Dr. Miller, 
"One of the most promi 
the younger generation 

Dr. Miller advanced to shake hands 
with the patient. Anderson took a quick 
jump. cowered behi 
m and looked at Dr. Miller with 
ng eyes. The two doctors ex- 
changed a glance and Dr, Miller quietly 
left the room. 

“Well, well," said Dr. Grob. "I am 
sorry I upset you. Did you see anything 
unusual in Dr. Miller?" 

“But of course," said Anderson, refus- 
ing to emerge from his shelter. behind 
the couch. “How can you not sce that he 235 


es 


ing ther 


PLAYBOY 


236 


is almast а full-blown chimera? You 
must have a grade-ten infection, after 
alll 

Dr. Grob laughed reassuringly. “I must. 
confes 1 never saw his serpent’s tail. 
Does it come out through a hole in his 
flannels?” 

“ОГ course not. They all wear it coiled 
round their stomachs, like a cummer- 
bund.” 

“Well, maybe next time we'll кес Dr. 
Miller to undress before us. Would that 
convince you?” 

“You will never make him.” 

“We'll see. But, as I said, the hour is 
up, and so goodbye for today." 

Make him now.” 

“Тһе hour is up," Dr. Grob repeated 
for the third time, giving out a noise 
that sounded like a growl. At that very 
moment, like a responding echo, they 
heard an inarticulate damor coming 
from the street, getting louder and loud- 
er. Curiosity triumphing over fear, An- 
derson behind the couch, 
dusting his trousers, and took up his 
position next to the doctor at the win- 
dow. Across the whole width of the street, 
à horde of chimeras was advancing, roar- 
ing some leonine war song, smashing 
mpposts with their scaly 
ils, while their goaty paris erupted in 
rts that turned into a poisonous, sw 
ing cloud. rising ever higher. 


cunc from 


thought so.” said Dr. Grob, noddi: 
benignly. “A demonstration of the Peace 
Scouts’ Love Brigade. Nice kids, full of 
vitality.” 

"But don't you see . . .” cried Ander- 
son, glancing sideways at the doctor and 
hurriedly averting his cyes from what he 
saw. 

"You seem frightened," Dr. Grob re- 
marked solicitously. “What's the matter 
with you?” 

Instead of a reply, Anderson made 
for the door. As a farewell greeting, Dr. 
Grob rose on his hind legs and gave 
Anderson ап encouraging lick on the 
check. He was seen out by smiling Dr. 
Miller, who, having іп the meantime 
unzipped his hip pocket, smartly opened 
the door with his tail. “He looks already 
much improved.” Grob remarked to his 
colleagu 

On his way down in the elevator, 
Anderson no longer knew whether he 
was boy or girl, man or chimera. Tt was 
already dark when he got out into the 
fogbound street, and he could sce only 
vague shapes, neither real nor unreal, 
like a face in a tree, open to different 
nterpretations. 

He shuddered at the thought of going 
k to Dr. Grob next Friday at six P.M. 
1 wondered whether it was worth the 
$100. But what else could he do? 


“Head down and keep slithering. This is an 
opportunity that may never come again.” 


COD’S RICHT HAND 
(continued from page 132) 


not deny that they include Norman 
Mailer, the more public swinger who 
esteems Buckley as "wonderful compa- 
ny.” Buckley once wrote to a reporter 
who was attempting to discover intima- 
cies: “Do tell me if you find out any- 
thing interesting about my sex life. I'd 
love to know." A writer from Harper's, 
a bearded leftist, was diverted from sig- 
ifcant di by being taken by 
Buckley on a wild Honda ride through 
the streets of New York. 

His apartment in New York, purchased 
two years ago from the estate of Dag 
Hammarskjöld, is more revealing than his 
conversation. It is decorated h diverse 
and arresting art—moder and impres- 

istic—furnished with large and com- 
fortable furniture and stocked with a 
morethan-dequate supply of potables. 
(On the morning after a dinner part 
for six, the living-room coflee table bore 
seven different liqueurs) It is a haven 
for a life graceful and devoted to pleas- 
ure. Buckley says he has recently become 
quite a gourmet, particularly French. 
“Good food is the only sensual treat that 
сап be enjoyed three times a day for а 
lifetime," he says, offering the names 
of restaurants that have pleased him in 
several countries and recommending, as 
а cook, his wife. National Review. more- 
over, must be the only pol 
to contain a column called 
ns." 
His wife, too, fits the pattern of ele- 
gant fulfillment. Asked to describe her in 


а few words, he replied, “witty, beauti- 
ful, cantankerous—and. all 
mine a's wit resembles and com- 


plements her husband's: her bi 
imperial and she is unapologe! 
lect tall. Her passion is most strongly. 
conveyed to the visitor through her great 
umbrageous eyes, which she superfluously 
enhances with mascara, end her expres- 
sively full lips—a weakness їп her armor 
of reserve occasionally betraying a tremu- 
Jous impatience or a withering scorn, She 
is not the wife of an ascetic missio 
mor a wife that one can neglect. If, 
Buckley says, she is all his, one supposes 
that he is necessarily all hers. 

She is a warm and attentive mother to 
their son, Christopher, а 16-year-old, gui- 
tarplaying student at the Catholic prep 
school Portsmouth Priory. Christopher 
shares the patrimonial charm without, 
the superficial observer suspects, the 
mordancy and iconoclasm. It is altogether 

t does not suffer any еуі 


a brilliant and evange- 
е, but not to the point 
of foregoing domestic cnjoyments. Or 
perhaps it would be more correct to say 
that he is a conservative precisely to the 


point of living а life of aristocratic grace 
and gaiety. 

Buckley has refused to implicate him: 
self in the pandemonium of modern 
society, which, as defined by liberal soci 
ologists, is increasingly interdependent, 
unitary. He will have none of it. He is 
not a part of Harlem, not responsible for 
the horrors of the modern world; most of 
them, he feels, are caused by a collectiv- 
ist trend—abetted by contemporary lib- 
cralism—that he has devoted. his life to 
combating 

Perhaps the most eloquent voice of 
pandemonium is Norman Mailer, his 
friend and debating opponent. Mailer's 
book Cannibals and Christians ends with 
a piece of “prophetic fiction" in which 
the carth suffers its terminal agony. Man, 
following roughly the military and nude- 
ar policies advocated by William F 
Buckley. Jr., has polluted his environ- 
ment to lethal uninhabitability. The 
President of the United States reaches an 
apocalyptic greatness by declaring that 
no one is innocent—we are all guilty— 
and then destroys the world, in order to 
propel a rocket containing 100 humans 
beyond the infected solar system, where 
they can start anew. 

This, Buckley would recognize as a 
"liberal" eschatology, Майсгъ fantasy 
suggests an urge to abolish history and to 
see greatness in a proclamation of uni- 
versal guilt. As a conservative, Buckley 
tends to believe in individual but not 
collective or sociological guilt. One of his 
favorite books is Pictures from an Insti- 
tution, a satire by the late Randall Jarrell 
of a liberal girls’ college: Its appropri 
ate motto might be, said Jarrell, "Ye 
shall know the truth, and the truth shall 
make you feel guilty." Mailer’s truths are 
all freighted with macrocosmic guilt 
Buckley thinks he knows the wuth and 
he does not feel guilty. Nor will he be 
made to feel guilty by collectivist moral- 
izers, not about injustice in the South, 
poverty in Harlem or napalm іп Viet 
nam; and he finds hope in man's past 
and hell in the liberal impulse to abolish 
it and start anew. 

Buckley's message to those whom 
Mailer would inculpate is exculpation. 
To those fed up to the craw with liberal 
guilt—who balk at last, for example, 
at the idea that crime itself, violent 
crime, is а sociogenic illness—William Е 
Buckley, Jr., offers amnesty. Forget the 
guilt. Remember Ше Alamo—as the 
Buckley blood, transfused in s re 
members the Alamo, remembers the 
frontier, remembers an Ameri 
fest destiny. Remember wl 
country рг 


а of mani- 
at made this 
at (and the Buckley family 
rich): the patriotic individual, guilde: 
killing Indians, cle. 
factories, finding oi 


ly 
ing land, building 
st as William F. 
Buckley, Sr., found oil and pumped it 


Robert Bruce is using a famous fabric 
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collaborates with man for smartness. 
It's called COTTON 


.. Cool, fresh, light, comfortable cotton for him and for her. Demonstrating its 

E talent for color, texturo and pattern. She's wearing his hi-crewneck string 
E jG герр stripe sweater shirt; crew blue, hickory, navy; s,mJl; about $11. He's 
a Jii wearing Grubb pants; 28-38: about $10; no-iron Grubb knit shirt in ten colors 

s,m,lxl; about $5. Cotton Producers Institute, Box 12253, Memphis, Тепп.38112. 

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237 


2 


PLAYBOY 


ХІ 


8 


where others failed—and made а for- 
tune. William F. Buckley. Jr., does not 
feel guilty because of his father's good 
fortune; he does not feel guilty because 
others failed, because others fail yet, in 
the local depressions of the American 
economy and in the massive depression 
of the underdeveloped world (the “pri 
itive regions" he would say) Buckley 
is as sure of the rectitude of his father 
as he is of his country 

At the age of 35, Buckley senior 
married a Southern girl. 
tholic—Miss Aloise 
Orleans. Because the 


mily was clearly 


dominated by the father, she is often 
looked by those who write about 
the 


ov 
Buckley, |і. Howev resonant 
Southern strains in the family's outlook 
are predominantly hers: she made her 
ark deeply in her children. 

It is ironic that today it is in the 
North that the Old South can best bc 
regained—at least for the Buckleys. 
Elm, the Buckley estate in Sh 
Connecticut, Southern 
spiritual stone's throw from the M 
sippi. Fronted with great white columns 
(added by the Buckley family). attended 
by deferential Negro servants and scep- 
tered by William F. Buckley, Sr.’ widow 


(her husband died in 1958). there is 
about it the grace of the manorial South. 
And there is about Mrs. Buckley the 
graciousness of a Southern hospitality 
totally alien to the “Y'all come in and 
eat” that until recently prevailed in that 
benighted White House farther South 


and in a thousand white homes in the 
New South. 
Mrs Buckley, though enormously 


proud of her famous son, is not at all 
submissive 10 his specific political in 
sights. One of Buckley's principal cru- 
des over the past several years and a 
ading concern of his magazine has 
been to save the right from the lunacies 
of the John Birch Society. His mothei 
however, remains unapologetically a sym 
pathizer. She taught "Billy" much of h 
patriotism and she feels she knows its 
imperatives as well as he does. The coun- 
пу is beleaguered (“Things are деші 
worse, of course; they always do”) 
in such a crisis, Robert Welch's extremi- 
ties can be indulged. 

In his family's Southem ambiance, 
William, Jr. is a racial moderate, with 
pronounced Northern. prodivities. After 
listening to his novelist brother Reid, 
who has preserved. his Southe 
tions by spending much of his adult lile 


nd, 


п intoi 


Surely, Miss Carling, yowre nol. going 


10 ignore an opportunity to create a little happiness 
on this tortured planet.” 


in Spain, one can detect Southern reso- 
nances іп William's accent—particularly 
its public registers of irony and scorn, 
seldom reached in casual conversation. 
But he remains in spirit a Northerner. 
He has not suffered the great wound 
of los that gives edge to his mother 
ions: the loss of the Sonth, registered 
in her face and only partly redeemed in 
the Southern spirit of Great Elm. The im- 
portant Southern animus in his thinking 
is as much inherited as is the combative 
lvocacy of free-enterprise capitalism. 
Thus originated Buckley's conserva- 
tism—this parental mixture of ой and 
holy water, washed down with Southe 
The fact that some of his 
crited, however, has not inhibited 
n of them. Buckley bı 


jews 


boundless 
brought, «o profitably, to the oil busi 


confidence that his father 


ness. 


\ Buckley associate on National 
Review tells of picking up the telephone 
in the office and overhearing Buckley in 
the midst of what was for him—as the 
proud expositor of one of America’s 
leading vocabuliries—a moment of al 
most unique verbal discomfiture: "What," 
asked Buckley, "is the common English 
noun—l'm sure there is onc—meaning 
self-doubt?” The editor of National Re- 
view must be one of the few in his pro- 
fession who had never heard of diffiden 

On the other end of the phone w: 
Buckley's older sister Priscilla, the man- 
aging editor of National Review. Rack in 
1956. as the magazine staggered through 
its first year, Buckley summoned Priscilla 
from Paris, where she was serving as U. P. 
correspondent, and put her in charge of 
ng the thing out, In itself. this was a 
g act for editor Buckley, Paris! Who 
could guess his associates wondered 
what тасу ideological she 
ght have contracted im that sinful 
iv. But Buckley knew what he was 
doing. The Buckley parents had ten chil- 
dren without breaking the ideological 
mold; even the inlaws are rock bound 
conservatives (perhaps out of pure fear, 
Mrs. Buckley, Sr. suggested); and the 
have been some 50 grandchildren with- 
out an evident deviation, Paris was noth- 
ing for a girl who had dined at the very 
right hand of Poppa Buckley. Dinner at 
Great Elm was a didactic ceremony, and 
Priscilla, sitting prettily, demurcly there, 
did not miss a lesson. Morcover. the 
Buckleys had all endured Europe pre- 
viously. Disgusted with American educa- 
tion, the father had sent several of the 
children to European schools and the 
entire family had stayed overseas alter 
the 1929 stock-market crash, Mrs. Buck- 
ley explains, because it was cheaper there 

Priscilla has been managing National 
Review—superbly, by all accounts ever 
since her return in 1956. On the occasion 


infections 


of the inquiry on “self-doubt,” she prob- 
ably disposed of the problem as expedi- 
ly as she does the thousands of others 
posed by her problematical brother. The 
ine has been growing steadily since 
t that it now 
boasts about 100,000 circulation. 

National Review reflects both the 
strengths a aknesses of its edi. 
overwhelming li 
ecological assurance and 
nal failure to see the need for 
rescarch and documentation. It is € 
ceedingly well written and entert Е 
but, like other of Buckley's political 
capers, it is half in fun. Early in the 
career of the magazine, there was а 
pute on the staff between the Buckleys 
and some of the editors inherited from 
the defunct Freeman—notably, Suzanne 
La Follette and John Chamberlain—over 
the question of printing long, substantive 
essays. The Buckleys were a 
though they were quite possibly right 
about the articles at issue, their victory 
over the older generation was rather too. 
complete. 

The result is a magazine that shares 
many of the weaknesses of its left-wing 
competitor, the New Republic. There is 
little of original substance in National 
Review. Liberals don't risk ignorance by 
neglecting to read it. Moreover, even a 
ng material of value for 
ack on liberalism will find little of 
value in National Review. He will find 
polemics masterfully deploying the im- 
lable information. He will 
tly devised posturings; but 
unless he wishes to plagiarize specific 
phrases or the lineaments of specific 
arguments, he won't find much useful 
іше original research, report- 
s or documentation for anti 
positions. Buckley excels in debate 
rticularly if the topic is broad—by 
ng chiefly on his own extempor 
tions. The magazine does less well with 
its own, The content of the opening 
edi for instance, is decided in a 
ма conference the day before the issue 
goes to press. If the facts are not at 
hand, ideology and rhetoric—projected 
by boundless sell-assurance—always are. 

Thus, National Review, though often 
the best writen and most entertaining 
of American journals of opinion, is also 
one of the inlluen This is so 
en on issucs that arouse the editors. 
For ance, William F. Виски 
is one of the nation’s leading 
cates of the view that local police are 
being “handculfed” by Supreme Court 
decisions on confessions and by the 
mobilization of black pressure groups 

inst alleged police brutality. Buckley, 
in fact, was so sure of himself on this 
point that he led the referendum cam- 
paign that repealed New York City's 


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CACTUS CASUALS. 


239 


PLAYBOY 


240 


Civilian Review Board. It was Buckley 
who personally delivered the requisite 
signatures to the city derk to put the 
issue on the ballot. 

Yet his magazine shows no awareness 
of the statistical case against the police: 
the fact, for instance, that the decisions 
on confessions have had virtually no 
effect on the number of guilty pleas, 
which run around 90 percent in most 
areas. Instead. the magazine has pro- 
vided a series of ringing editorials and 
an article sensationally titled (Cam the 
Police Protect Themselves?) and деу 
of factual corroboration. 

Buckley's mayoralty campaign position 
paper on crime showed all the legal 
sophistication of an off-duty cop 
saloon. “Crime.” Buckley wrote. 
been encouraged . . . by the policies and 
practices of the cou He further 
traced “much of the trouble , . . to deci- 
sions of the U.S. Supreme Court—for 
instance, the Afallory, Марр and Escobe- 
do cases." To support this charge 
(these decisions, regardless of their mer- 
its, ve nothing to do with the alleged 
crime wave), Mr. Buckley offered former 
New York police commissioner. Michael 
J. Murphy in one of his weaker moments 
“We.” Murphy said, “are forced to fight 
by Marquis of Queensberry rules” (he 
means the Constitution: In the U.S, 
to the discomfiture of Messrs. Murphy 
and Buckley, the police operate under 
law); “while the criminals” (he meant 
the suspects) “are allowed to gouge and 
bite" (gouge and bite being Murphy's 
code name for the presumption of inno- 
cence and derivative constitutional pro- 
tections). Otherwise, Buckley offered no 
cvidence at all for ihe fundamental con 
tentions of his position paper on crime, 
the issue on which he claimed perhaps 
the greatest superiority over the other 
сап 

National Review—and Buckley as 
mayoralty candidate—shared а similar 
vacuity on the issue of education. Fully 
two thirds of his position paper on the 
subject was devoted to what one gathers 
is the prime threat to New York educa- 
tion, responsible for its 
drums and for incalculable horrors to 
come; the school bus. Except for rit 
appeals for a little more spending and 
a demand (also made by Nelson Rocke- 
feller) for ending free tuition at City 
College, Buckley could only call for 
quarantine of those insidious yellow 
bearers of miscegenation 

The rice issue has occasioned almost 
all of the serious lapses of taste and 
proportion exhibited by Buckley and his 
magazine. The attitude of the Buckley 
family toward Congressman Powell, for 
example, is obsessive. A reporter tells of 
William dancing about at а party, smiling 
th feline glee, exclaiming: "They got 


present dol- 


someone asked. “The 
“Adam Clayton Powell, 
replied Buckley. Of course, the 


of course, 
courts had not “got” him then; nor had 


they got him last year, when Reid Buck- 
ley expressed similar cxultation, But 
with N. R.'s fervent encouragement and 
"s relentless cooperation, they ma 
finally succeed. As Buckley put it, Na- 
tional Review first exposed Powell in 
1955, “and he has never let us down. In 
the course of time, even Congress no- 
ticed him." (In fairness to Buckley and 
as testimony to his charming unpredict- 
bility, when Congress finally excluded 
Powell, Buckley reproached it, in his col- 
umn, as an impetuous disregard of consti- 
tutional procedures.) 

It is symptomatic, too, that, groping 
for an example of the full depravity of 
Ralph Ginzburg's Eros, Buckley had to 
k а sequence of rather arresting—but 
ely obscene—photographs of the na- 
and a white 
woman. Antimiscege! prevalent 
phobia on the right, despite the fact that 
objectively, it poses little threat to the 
prevailing social order. And what is it 
that leads Buckley and М. К. to believe 
that cannibalism is ап inexhaustible 
source of humor? One issue of N. R. con- 
tained three separate jocular references 
to the subject. and Lumumba's death in 

Congo provided for a general, if 
arious. editorial licking of chops. 

Buckley's exploitation of the somewhat 
morbid humor of the race issue is, to be 
sure, 
his total inability to revere the сопуеп- 
tional liberal posture on the subject. He 
should recognize, however, that there is 
no aspect of his public approx 
compromises his influence 

In addition to editing his n 
and running for political office, one of 
Buckley's principal over the 
t few years has been debating. Here, 
he dominates his competition in as 
crowd-pleasing а manner, with as many 
feints and cuts and with as much flaunt- 

ng of the chin—and even, almost, with 
as much. physical movement—as former 
boxing champion Muhammad Ali. Buck- 
ley paces back and forth, rises to his 
tocs, shadowboxes, darts out his tongu 
and then, in an eyebrow movement as 
deft and as demoralizing as Ali's left — 
for Bill's eyebrows are the debater's 
qquivalent of a defensive jab—he super- 
ciliates. Buckley has far and away the 
most communicative eyebrows іп politi- 
cal journalism. Even before he opens his 
mouth, he is far ahead of most of his 
liberal opposition. 

‘Then his voice: Buckley would be amus- 
ing to listen to even reciting the п 
of the first 2000 people in ih 
hattan telephone d 
he says, he would sooner be gov 


Man- 
eciory (by whom, 


ied 


than by the Harvard University faculty). 
In the range and subtlety of its rhythins 
and inflections, his voice is an unexcelled 
polemical instrument: an Everett Me 
Dirksen without the gargling 
vibrato in the lower registers and with a 


strong resonance from W 
ley. Sr.'s compulsory elocution classes. Ву 
the simple intonat 
Clayton Powell, Jr.. Buckley сап com- 
municate all his obsessive scorn and dep- 
recation of the Harlem Congressman. 

Then, 100, there is Buckley's language. 
‘There is no one in the country who on 
his feet can frame such elegant sentences 
and interject such stiletto quips. He 
"floats like a butterfly and stings like a 
D might put it. If Buckley i 
the most effective in per 
ing an audience, he is certainly the best 
at exciting, regaling, provoking and en- 
tertaining it. 

On one occasion, he even ma 
lose a debate to James Baldwin before 
the Cambridge (England) University 

i the obviously absurd. proposi- 
tion. defended by Baldwin, that Western 
civilization could not survive without 
racism. Buckley diverted himself in word- 
¢ Baldwin eloquently fathomed. 
rings as a Negro. Western civili- 
zation awaited its defense, while Buckley 
inally. he argued that the 
civil rights movement will prevail in its 
legi ns precisely because Western 
civilization, particularly in its Christian 
provenance, has not been abandoned. 
Here is the point, belatedly made and. 
inadequately inculcated. but nonetheless 


aged to 


i 
enough to give Buckley the objective 
victory. 

At that moment, however, Buckley was 
interrupted by a student. The compul- 
sion to outrage seized him 
sipated all his gains. Agreeing 
Negroes should be given the vote, һе 
added, "Except, lest I appear too ingri- 
tating, I think actually what is wrong 
in Mississippi is not that not enough 
Negroes have the vote but that too many 
white people are voting.” After making 
statement (which casually 
jeuisons an essential safeguard of demo- 
cratic politics) and hurling it at a hostile 
псе without explanation or sub- 
tiation, he lost the vote—544 to 164 
—and, perhaps deservedly, the debate. 

On his weekly television program, Fir- 
ing Line, begun after his mayoralty 
paign and now carried by approximately 
70 stations across the country, Buckley 
shows a similar disposition to outrage 
rather than engage. Dressed in а mono- 
grammed buttondown s p tie, 
Buckley slouches in а director's chair and 
exhibits his impertinence. 
There have been a few balmy evenings 
with congenial conservatives such as 


nd 


charming 


THE PLAYBOY ART GALLERY 


-— © ON 


PUIAY E OSY 


242 


Barry Goldwater, Clare Boothe Luce and 
Senator Thomas Dodd, and а few pleas- 
antly nonpolitical evenings with men 
such as Editor-Publisher Hugh М. Hef- 
пег. But, in general, Buckley takes on 
the enemy: povertarian Michael Harring- 
ton, liberal churchman James Pike, Ne- 
gro militants Eldridge Cleaver and Floyd 
MeKissick, New Fronuersman Richard 
Goodwin, liberal entertainer Steve Allen 
and pacifist history professor Staughton 
Lynd. 

"You don't seriously believe 
brc 


Mr. Lynd 
ached Buckley, with conver- 
gent superciliations, lelt and right, and a 
flash of the incisors; and we were off. 
Profesor Lynd, who had recently gone 
10 Hanoi to console Ho Chi Minh about 
American bombings, rides а mor 
horse, leftside saddle, and was an 
target for Buckley's joustings. 

suffered. stoically through 
g around. desultory quotation: 
“Aesopian prose" and "wal. 
lowing in . . . a syndrome of umeality.” 
Tt was not until Buckley blandly called 
him an idiot that the profesor took 
offense. Buckley, however, always the 
us host, amiably took it back: “I 
idiot,” he said, “in the 


Lynd 
charges of 


throw 


Greek sense; 

Here he exhibited onc of his two key 
debating techniques: ad hominem 
tack; the other із reductio ad absurdum, 
Both have the effect of removing the 
debate from the issues at hand—on 
which Buckley, with his weekly regimen, 
may be at a disadvantage—to the realm 
of verbal p which he is the 


ALLA 


SALL 


world's champion. Although he docs not 
win popularity contests, neither does 
Muhammad Ali. The pursuit of arete— 
excellence, in the Greek sense—does not 
allow pandering to the mob. 

Still, Buckley has by now broken out 
of the coterie into the crowd. Though he 
is determined not to pander, it is fair to 
say that his mayoralty campa not 
entirely escape politics and its attendant 
abasements. There was a synthetic qual- 
ity to both his throbbing empathy for 
the police and antipathy for the 
school bus. With the increasing success 
of his national television program, his 
renown is rapidly growing. He is a p 
lic figure and he is likely to influence the 
public and to continue to be influenced 
by his public contacts. 

From what we can judge of his earlier 
following, this new influence may be a 
heavily mixed blessing, Buckley's disci. 


ples, to a degree matched only by the 
more devout Beatle fans, imitate the 
gestures, facial expressions and, especial- 


ly, the hair style of their hero. To those 
millions, going well beyond the right 
who regard the long hair of Amer 
can youth as а portent of Spenglerian 
decay (or nostalgic R. F. K.), Buckley's 
influence is welcome. His hair 
э brushed neatly to the side, with 
downward cant over the right eye. This 
did lend an unfortunate Hideria 
suggestiveness to mustachiced versions of 
his campaign poster. Nonetheless, the 
style seems 
Buckley. It is on his 
becomes T 


atural а 


downward cant, 


“This place is a good buy if you don't mind 
having a beautiful but eccentric blonde neighbor." 


especially, is a litle oppressive when 
oiled to the brows of three young Ameri- 
s for Freedom denouncing the Su- 
preme Court with the ensemble precision 
of Huey, Dewey and Louic. These types, 
encountered with disturbing frequency 
in conservative political circles, use what 
they regard as Buckleyesque svllogisms, 
misuse the Buckley vocabulary, stress 
their arguments with Bucklevesque super- 
iliations and, as an almost intolerable 
affront, punctuate them with an occasion 
Buckleyesque protrusion of the tongue 
Buckley has the misfortune of leaving 
parodies of himself wherever he pros 
elytizes. 

Buckleys vocabulary is an especially 
ignificant index of his political i 
fluence. Whenever vou meet a young 
» Brooklyn denouncing “the ера 
iological conceits of them N 


his eschaton 
Buckley in а 
sequently appe; on subway 
throughout New York City; 
roughly, to realize in nature man’s tran. 
scendental purposes—create heaven on 
carth). And on the race issue, Buckley's 
followers are completely incapable of 
the tightrope-walking distinctions, the 
brinksmanship provocations, the high 
grade ironies that are the usual medium 
of the Buckley wit, even on this delicate 
subject. If Buckley's supporters get face- 
tious about blacks in Brooklyn, you could 
conceivably have a (iot om your hand: 

‘The gap between Buckley 
lowbrow followers yawns like a city po- 
liceman at a Buckley speech. The сор 
wns widely but not in hostility: he is 


ies to see wh 
moron means. But chances are his own 
dictionary does nor even include some of 
the words that Buckley most cherishes 
Until recently, his Webster's Collegiate 
was entirely mute on the mea 
Stakhanovite (a hyperkinetic worker) 
and if the policeman ever met an energu 
men (another Buckley favorite, mean 
extreme fanatic). he might even im 
him to address the Communion breakfast 
of the departm 


Вис 
n be found 


ley and the policem. 


in another word, and another world, 
ed by Buckley—almost in coun- 

to the Stakhinovites and 
energumens that harass the liberal m 


tropolis. The word is "eudaemon 
Happiness informed by reason, eudaemo- 
nia is that blessed state that Buckley does 
not find in New York City, Cuba, Poland, 
Moscow or at a convention of SDS. 
Eudacmonia is Sharon, Connecticut. It 
sorely beleaguered 
by restive Negroes in Los Angeles, by 
Soviet soldiers in Czechoslovakia, by the 
Viet Cong is and, as the embod 
ment of all the rest, by Dutch elm 


disease, Against such threats. the Buck- 
leys feel they need all the support they 
can get. So their cudacmonia becomes а 
mighty fortress, defended—at a discreet 
distance from Sharon—by the House 
Committee оп Un-American Activiti 
by J. Edgar Hoover and by all the asso- 
ciated constabulary of the military- 
industrial complex. Local security is 
nutined by a score of resident Buck- 
leys and scores of weekend reserves. 

Indeed, anyone who lived іп a town as 
lovely as Sharon would want to keep out 
the rest of the world, A drive through its 
bowered streets, а walk through its quiet 
pastures, unfurling from the southern 
Berkshire Hills. will explain and forgive 

1 of the Buckley; political obsessions. 
The cleanliness of the air; the hills re 
signed gracefully to the sky; the houses, 
triumphs of American Colonial architec- 
ture, humble to defer to the trees; and 
Sharon's trees, lush, elegant, undaunted 
—all this is enough to make Madalyn 
give thanks to Our Lord. 
And yet the foreign threat is real—Dutch 
elm disease, It creeps, like socialism, 
through the green pastures of Sharon 
and by its still waters, and strikes at the 
very columns of the Buckley firmament 
Dutch elm disease is communism in cu- 
daemonia, and Buckley's mother regards 
them both with the same soul dread. 

Wherever they go, Sharon is the 
home for the Buckleys—a family 
nine. talking mostly to Buckleys а 
God. They эсс one 
nd perhaps it is there that Wil- 
Buckley, Jr. should have stayed, 
writing eclogues, painting landscapes and. 
playing Bach—as he does quite well— 
on the clavichord he was given at his 
request upon graduation from college. 

But the need for moredistant. barri- 
cades drew him away, and—in 1954—he 
bought a seafront house in Stamford, 
Connecticut, within commuting distance 
of New York. The Dutch elm disease 
spoke a deeper problem: it could not 
be resisted in Sharon alone. The aggres- 
sion would have to be attacked at its 
source—the city—and so Buckley made 
his descent into pandemonium. But there 
was still something Arcadian in Buckley's 
philosophy that he did not leave behind, 
even running for mayor of New York. 
Those born and raised in the city become 
resigned to a pandemonium; the energu- 
mens and the ulcerating Stakhanovism 
are taken lor granted, or they lead to 
lunacy. The city dwellers rage all too 
often curdles and sours into bigotry 
Buckley's has not, It is still a pure and 
eudaemonie rage, which is why he is so 
charming and innocent a spirit and why 
he is so woefully misunderstood. 

His brilliant book on the New York 
Campaign would have us believe that 
the city 
take him seriously, пу 
true. But it is no less true that he failed 
10 understand the city or to take it 


scriously. And it is especially ironic that 
those New Yorkers he least understood 


and who least understood him were 
those who took him most seriously, who, 
indeed, voted for him. Settle any random 


his New York supporters in 
and within a decade, the old 
Colonial houses would be replaced by 
go-go bars, pizza parlors and stucco 
ranch homes; the elms would be razed 
to widen the streets; and Democrats 
would be elected to town offices—perhaps 
by exploiting class resentment а) 
the patrician Buckleys and their quaint 
aestheticism. 

The smog of bitter controversy. van- 
ishes—over drinks at the New York 


ainst 


Yacht Club in mid-Manhattan—and 
Buckley converses wittily, attentively, 
laughing openly, affectionately. One сез 


why he is so dauntlessly liked. even by 
some of his most intransigent opponents. 
They relish him even if he threatens the 
ideals they most cherish. They like him 
even when he derides the guilts thar 
make them rightcous—living on upper 
Park Avenue under the dark glower of 
Harlem, for instance. Yes, one thinks. 
perhaps Buckley offers a corrective. Then 
ks with him among the exquisite 
models of yachts. listening to his appre 
ciative commentary, longing with him 
for the amnesty of the sea 

But outside there is no amnesty. Out 
side is not the sea, nor Sharon, but New 
York during the summer swelter. "Sure is 
a hot one,” one sighs afterward to the 
cabdriver. The cabby responds, as if there 
were nothing else to say: “The niggers 
like i." One remembers then the open 
war in the city and the guerrilla spirit 
of its streets. If liberalism is hypocrisy. 
ad if it is only Buckley and. in a 
cruder idiom, the cabby, who under- 
stand the city—then hypocrisy is the 
city’s only hope for peace. Buckley might 
be right about welfare, about neighbor 
hood schools, about crime. He might be 
more brilliant, articulate and _honesi— 
but that cabby, and thousands like him 
igoted and hateful and all of them [or 
Buckley for mayor. should not be en 
couraged. They must be beaten; and. 
because of them, Buckley had to lose 


one w. 


Of course, he did lose. But, in losing, 
he charmed the city. And now a celebrity 
on the national scene, he emerges as a 
spokesman for yet another style of con- 
servatism, almost entircly unrelated to 
the New York City variety—commercial 
frontier Americanism. This strain is a 
mutation of the authentic frontier сар 
talism of his father, which was animated 
by a deep religious з Amerika 
über alles patriotism. commer 
‚ by contrast, ntly mate 
rialist and is symbolized by its Neon über 
alles architecture. Once a the aes 
thate. traditionalist and spiritualist, the 
Buckley whose carly childhood memories 


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include the repeated whitewashing of the 
first billboard erected in Sharon, is dis- 
comfited by new allies. 

These new allies grected him during a 
visit some months ago to Phoenix, Ari- 
zona. As the plane descended toward 
the airport, Buckley was discussing The 
Revolt of the Masses, the prophetic mas- 
terpiece of the great Spanish philosophe: 
Ortega у Gasset. Another of Buckley's 
favorite books and the subject of a forth- 
coming book of his own, Ortega's work 
is a profound and passionate t 
the derogation of spiritual tradi- 
nal values in mass society. Phoenix 
stretched below. If there were churches, 
they were not distinguishable from the 
factories, schools, bungalows and service 
stations glistening amorphously in the 
morning sun. 

The plane landed. Buckley and his 
wife were told to wait while the other 
passengers disembarked. In the plane. 
old men accosted him, referring to com- 
mon acquaintances and thanking him 
with desperate fervor for his good work 
for the cause; he flashed a smile you 
could read by and moved toward the 
front of the plane and to the ramp. 
There to meet him was the 1961 Repub 
lican Presidential nominee 
Senator, Barry Goldwate 
ten photographers and а crowd of 
gawking admirers. Newspaper and tele- 
vision representatives pressed forward 10 
arrange interviews with Buckley and his 
wife. It was a greeting ordinarily re 
served for triumphal politicians or movie 
stars, not magazine editors. 

That evening, Buckley held a press 
conference at the Phoenix Press Club. 
drawing а crowd that would have flat 
tered Jimi Hendrix. His introduction by 
Goldwater biographer Edwin McDowell 
would have commended Abraham Lin 
со. And the fist question, inevitably 
revealed the gap between himself and his 
new disciples. A stocky, ruddy-faced man 
stood up and asked, breathlessly sur- 
mounting the word. why Buckley used so 
many “polysyllabies.” "Wouldn't conserv- 
atism be helped more if you . . . you 
ulilized . . . simpler language? 

Buckley asi "What are vou going to 
do with complicated thoughts?” and 
then began a long defense of “our rich 
intellectual patrimony" of linguistic dis 
tinctions that nearly anesthetized his 
audience on revived it. 
however, with a 
lectual patrimony of 
McCarthy and the mistake 
тезропзе to the question of whether 
President Johnson would run again, that 
“It is my opinion that Lyndon Johnson 
will run for the Presidency of any coun- 
ау that will nominate him 

There followed pugnacious questions 
about that rightwing siren known as 
the Liberty Amendment, which would, 
among other manumissions, abolish the 
Federal income tax and the Supreme 


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Court; and about the John Birch Socie- 
ty. which would abolish anything else 
that got in the way of the anti-Commu- 
i L Buckley responded that the 
Liberty Amendment is a romantic dis- 
atives and that Birch 
Robert Welch, іп im- 
ial and seditious mo- 
tives to the s objective softness 
on communism, was “missing the main 
point . . . the conspiracy view is not 


puting conspi 


aditors sccmed sullenly 
unconvinced by Buckley's cogent rejec- 
tion of the preposterous. But this should 
not have been surprising. The disproot 
repeated a case that Buckley had felt 
constrained to make earlier in the pages 
ne. There it caused a wide- 
spread rebellion among those far 
subscribers and financial supporters who 
had not resigned previously in protest 
gainst other National Review affronts. 
The subscription list had already been 
ае ted, for instance, by N. R.'s revela- 
tion that the Federal Government was 
ng concentration camps іп 
the incarceration of anti- 
- This N. R. misunderstand- 
ing of what the far right knew to be 
"Washington's intentions was the top 
protest-mail getter in the magazine's his- 
tory and had precipitated several thou- 
sand cancellations. 

That mght, Buckley delivered a dinner 
address that, at 550 а plate, drew the 
largest audience ın the history of the 
Phoen Repul: Trunk and Tusk 
Club. Buckley's speech was not one of his 
hes performances; at times, he seemed 
ill at ease, and so did much of his audi- 
ence. They laughed nervously when- 
ever he stressed a word they did not 
undertand—on the assumption that it 
concealed some sophisticated Eastern 
icism. Since Buckley's subject was the 
“epistemological relativism” and "philo- 
sophical egalitarianism that leads to the 
loss of the capacity to discriminate be- 
tween freedom and slavery,” the moments 
of myst n were frequent. 

The speech was really directed toward 
those Eastern erals with whom he 
spends so much of his time. He attacked. 
the liberal reticence toward the mass 
exterminations in Communist China, 
which he estimates have killed some 
25,000,000 people, and he derided the 
Jiberal notion that the lesson of the М; 
period is best observed by endless indi 
nation toward the Pope's failure to co 
demn Hitler 25 years ago. The problem 
was that anyone in Arizona still indig- 
nant about Pope Pius was probably not 
a member of the Trunk and Tusk; and 
the only advocates of appeasement were 
Birchers who regard the Vietnam war as 
a liberal plot to divert attention from the 
real threat poscd by domestic Commu- 
nists. So, as in the mayoralty campaigi 
Buckley id his audience established 
only the most intermittent communica- 


“A bird in the hand, Julius, . . . 


tion. But, a» usual, it did not matter, 
at least to them. 
In the crowd of bashfully effusive and 


grateful autograph seekers who pressed 
forward afterward, ignoring Sen 
Goldwater, to approach Buckle: 


nearly impossible for а reporter to 
anyone who could roughly define episte- 
mological relativism or who, when asked 
why he liked the speech, remembered 
anything Buckley had said in it His 
television program was repeatedly praised 
and his brilliance continually celebrated. 
“He's Hiant he frightens me—but I 
love 
had finally managed to persuade her 
daughter to enter the fray for an auto- 
graph. The important thing 
Buckley was a star, he was brilli 
he said he was one of them, Wasn't that 
enough? 

Buckley's face glistened with sweat as 
he made his way toward the door. signing 
the endless stream of tremulously prot 
fered programs. "We watch you every 
Sunday." "Never miss your program." “I 


want you to meet my son: he watches, 
too. He is starting a Young Conservative 
Club at his high school." Buckley lis 
tened politely, responded graciously and 
smiled fluorescently. He had arrived, 
there was no doubt about that, in Phoe- 
nix as well as New York. He would be 
leaving soon for a visit to Saigon as a 
reporter. Perhaps some of his dazzled 
admirers would read his dispatches; 
ps а few, eventually, would learn 
the difference between eudaemonia and 
pandemonium. 

It was the next night and William F. 
Buckley, Jr., was being discreetly silent. 
For he was sitting next to perhaps the 
only conservativ the world with 
les by conversational juxta- 
re Boothe Luce—and she 
was arguing with his host, Barry Goldwa- 
ter. Mrs. Luce and her husband, Henry, 
the founder of the Time-Life empire 
who was to die a month later, were 
a dinner party for Buckley at 
their winter home in Phoenix. A close 


245 


PLAYBOY 


246 


friend of Buckleys—pcrhaps as close 
philosophically as anyone—and an осса- 
sional contributor to National Review, 
Mrs. Luce brings to her conservatism a 
religious passion. а Spenglerian pessi- 
mism and a powerful theatrical sense. 
That night, she spoke with a wounded 
cloquence and a tragic resonance about 
what she felt was the increasing spiritual 
barrenness of modem American life. 
This display of the conservative sensibili- 
ty—aching at the loss of the past—en- 
thralled the mind and seized the heart, 
nd was putting the leading conservative 
citizens of Phoenix to sleep. Senator 
Goldwater was strongly resisting Mrs. 
Luce’s notion that the world is оуегрор 
ulated; the comments of the others who 
responded—except for Buckley, who in 
general agreed with Mrs, Luce—showed 
no comprehension at all of her view of 
the world. The divergence scemed total 
and unnegotiable. In fact. it is negotiat- 
ed only through а militantly shared anti- 
communism. If the Cold War should 
end, Buckley and Mrs. Luce would have 
litle to discuss with these conservatives 
of the commercial frontier. 


Despite the excesses of his supporters 
and his own occasional sallies into ex- 
temism, Buckley is perceptibly mellow- 
ing. The sour grapes of a wrathful youth 
have been trampled in endless controver- 
sy; he offers himself now as a fine wine 
from the Filties, and it is reassuring for 
liberals to taste, in the daily drafts of his 


column, the flavor of a cool wit and a 
mature reflective intelligence. Although 
he retains the sharp bite of a systematic 
conservative, he rarely mentions his pre 
vious defenses of segregation in the South 
and of Senator Joseph McCarthy's despo- 
liation of the Bill of Rights. Buckley has 
even seemed to make his support for the 
Conservative Party of New York contin- 
gent on the continued existence of the 
Libe and the Liberals, whose 
strength Buckley bas always preposterous- 
ly overstated, are now suffering а termi- 
nal schism, Nor has he recently discovered 
y political figure as unsavory as the 
e Senator McCarthy with whom he 
could bear to identify himself. Buckley's 
incteasing exposure to political realities 
has clearly edified him. 

One must be grateful for Buckley's 
descent to pandemonium, The alten 
tive. one supposes. was belletristic essay- 
ing from Sharon. Опе hopes, however, 
that someday he will return, somewl 
chastened, somewhat deepened, and w 
free from political exigencies, the book 
of political philosophy of which he is 
uniquely cupable—a conservative afirma- 
tion in the tradition of Burke's Rejlec- 
lions on the French Revolution and of 
Ortega's Revolt of the Masses. 

Such а eudaemonic service would not 
please most of his present fans, and the 
American liberal establishment would 
probably attack the book. But with the 
cultural, aesthetic and political values of 
atism increasingly impe 
«olleciivist modern uends, it is ironic 


conser 


“My husband thinks I'm frigid 
just because I don't like sex.” 


to find the most cloquent conservative 
spokesman in a dalliance with a revolt of 
asses. Just because they share with 
? aversion for the Eastern liberal 
establishment, Buckley should not as- 
sume that the masses are truly on his 
side. 

For he is clearly not on their side. 
From his devastating attacks on the lead- 
ers the masses have, in fact, elected; and 
from his advocacy of a contracted suf- 
frage, one might conclude that Buckley 
shares the view of H. L. Mencken that 
the American electorate consists prim: 
ly of "boobs" who seck “boobissimus’ 
for a leader. This theory may be reassur- 
ing to a candidate who won only 13 
percent of the vore in a New York may- 
oralty election, but it does not well pre- 
pare him for the ordeal of m: i 


Buckley is dearly not boobissimus, and 
his chosen compromise—adldress 


political gatherings оп epistemologi 
relativism, after regaling them with jok 
—leaves him impotently suspended be- 
tween the world of the mind and the 
struggle for power. Unable or unwilling 
to communicate successfully with the 
mass of Americans, he finds himself in- 
crcasingly inclined to entertain them 
and increasingly acclaimed as an enter- 
tainer. Burt he wins neither power for 
himself nor acceptance for his views. 

The way out of Duckley's dilemma is 
for him to recognize that his talents best 
qualify him not for mass communic 
tion—which, in his case, is usually mis: 
communication—but for communication 
with the very establishment that he used 
to spend so much of his time attacking. 
Buckley has much to say that the lib- 
s badly need to hear. Their unc 
al acceptance of the concept of progress 
at а time when advancing technology 
holds as much threat ay promise; their 
faith in the Federal Government as an 
ustrument. of social improvement at a 
time when it is increasingly engaged in 
servicing its own wars and bureaucracies; 
their d idividual respons 
bility at a time of mass irresponsibility: 
and their indulgence of Marxist myths 
about the innate oppressiveness of capi- 
talism, all invite the kind of sustained 
conservative critique that Buckley has 
shown he can provide. Buckley's hope 
for greatness—a greatness that he шау 
well attain- lies not in affirming and 
refining the prejudices of the right. It 
lies in reanimating the conservative con- 
science of an American leadership that is 
losing faith in liberalism but sees no- 
where сіне to go for its ideologi 
sions. To do this, Buckley may have 10 
forget about converting his mother, but 
he might have more success with the 


country at large. 


al vi- 


CAPTIVATINGLY CLEAR 
(continued from page 133) 


converted into brandies, become more 
vividly fragrant and scemingly more real 
than in their solid state, A single sip of 
one of the dry white brandies leaves an 
incredibly luscious memory in the mouth. 
The fruit may be tiny black mountain 
cherries or heavy ripe pluins, or wood- 
land raspberries or the rich Williams 
pears that the Alsatians insist can only 
be compared to the thigh of a beautiful 
woman. 

Anyone who's ever dipped his chunk of 
bread into a fondue pot knows that melt- 
ed Swiss checse doesn't become fondue 
unless it’s blessed with its all-important 
splash of kirsch. Kirsch is only опе 
tributary of a whole river of spirits 
known in Europe as alcools blancs or 
white eaux de vie. Actually, eau, rather 
than blane, more accurately describes the 
fiery water of life. Vodka, too, is eauish- 
looking, but here the two rivers part 
company. The neutraLfiavored vodka 
dedicated to the proposition that liquor 
shall taste as Jitie like liquor as possible, 
blends like a chameleon with anything 
from mild apple juice wo the delicate 
herb known as Zubrovka pras. The 
flavors of the white brandies are so 
juiced up, their potential so richly bump- 
tious, that they must be taken cither 
straight or compounded with other 
ingredients—such as lime juice, bitters 
nd heavy black rum—that set the taste 
buds singing. 

Since fruits flourish all over the world, 
cau de vie men are often asked why the 
rare white fruit brandies seem to come 
only from a relatively small stamping 
ground in Europe—that chunk of land 
that includes the Alsace, the Black Forest 
of Germany and Swiuerland. Their an- 
swer is that brandies made from the fruit 
grown in that part of the world are the 
end products of a fortunate combination 
of soil and climate, in the sume way that 
cognac can be produced only in Cha- 
rente and Spain's magnificent sherries 
only in Jerez. The white fruit brandy 
makers give the fruit the pampering 
visited upon а lovely but spoiled child 
Mirabelle, for example, is an exquisite 
French white brandy made from the yel- 
low plum of the same name. Although the 
golden plums must be ripe before they 
go into anything from tarts to conserves, 
just ripe isn’t enough for the brandy- 
In the Dopff orchards in the Al- 
се, not a single mirabelle plum is ever 
picked for brandy making. The only 
mirabelle plums used by Dopff are those 
so richly ripe and heavy that they fall 
10 the ground. Naturally, the riper the 
the more sugar it contains and the 
more alcohol in the still But the real 
son the fruit is left to drop of its own 
ight is that the brandy in the bottle 
will carry a suave fragrance so penetrat- 
ing, it makes the fresh fruit pale by com- 


mar 


parison. In the same way, the small black 
cherries for kirsch must be wrinkly ripe 
from the sun, Between 40 and 60 pounds 
of deeply mellow red raspberries are need- 
ed for a single bottle of framboise. 

An alcool blanc is colorless because it 
never touches wood. Any alcohol trick 
ling out of a still becomes yellow or 
brown only when it's aged in a cask. The 
more deeply it’s colored. the less it tastes 
like the fresh fruit on the tree. Thus, 
slivovitz, an aged-in-the-wood plum bran- 
dy from central Europe, bears only the 
faintest resemblance to fresh plums. Age 
fetishists who often prejudge liquor by 
the layers of cobwebs on the bottle 
should know that the precocious white 
fruit brandies need only one to two 
years’ aging. During that brief period, 
the white eaux de vie are held in straw- 
covered 30- or 50-liter glass flasks. It's a 
brief. youth; but in that interval, they 
lose the initial harshness they had when 
they came from the still and tum satiny 
smooth. Some Swiss brandymen keep 
their kirsch in flasks from 10 to 20 years, 
on the theory that the alternate buf 
feting of cold and heat in the warehouse 
will make the brandy even smoother 
A myopic U. S. Federal regulation, how- 
ever, prevents such brandies from being 
marked aged. 

In this country, we accept the fact that 
any brandy, white or brown, unites per- 
fectly with demitasse or espresso as а 
postprandial offering. But in the Frendi- 
rman-Swiss kirsch belt, the white eaux 
de vie are just as likely to be poured 


before the breakfast croissant and coffee 


as after lunch or dinner. On a Coni 
nental rail trip or motor hop, a ski party 
or swimming party, a walk through the 
mountains or picnic beside a trout 
strcam, thc fifth or flask of eau de vic is 
its own portable bar in a bottle. At the 
dinner table, flavoring a hot turtle soup. 
trickling down the sides of а rich coupe 
or setting a pan of crepes ablaze, the 
alcools blancs light up both table and 
guests, Ruddy townsmen in Zug, Switzer 
Jand, where kirsch cin do no wrong, 
have been to dip small cotton 
wads into kirsch and inhale it like snull, 
to ward off the agues of winter. 
A botde of Williams pear brandy is 
tion piece in its own right. 
s the plump yellow pear, content- 
edly submerged inside the bottle whose 
neck seems impassably narrow. How the 
pear made that journey is a tale of skill 
and patience akin to that of building a 
tall schooner in a bottle. Right after the 
blossoms have disappeared from the pear 
tree and the fist tiny fruit appears, it's 
inserted, along with its stem, deep into a 
bottle, which is then anchored to a limb. 
Thereafter, the pear grows, on the brink 
of disaster every day. If the bottle isn't 
placed at just the right angle, rain water 
will slosh in and the game will have to 
be called before the pear's fully grown. 
A howling storm may send the bottle 


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PLAYBOY 
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247 


PLAYBOY 


crashing to the ground. IF the pear 
receives too much sunlight, the conver- 
gence of light through the glass results in 
a burnt offering without benefit of bran- 
dy. Generally, if one out of four or five 
pears in bottles attains adulthood, the 
brandyman feels happier than a par- 
tridge in a pear tree. When the ripe pear 
is eventually removed from the tree, safe 
in its glass house, the bottle is immedi- 
ately filled with alcohol, to preserve the 
pear. Later, the alcohol is withdrawn 
and replaced with fragrant Williams 
pear brandy. 

Its important to note that American 
bottles with the labels reading FRUIT- 
LAVORED BRANDY bear practically по re- 
semblance to the European white emus 
de vie. A fruitflavored brandy made in 
country is à liqueur with a brandy 
base but not quite as sweet as one that 
bears the simple word LIQUEUR. You ma 
run across kirsch liqueur, a white, syrupy 
concoction that shouldn't be confused 
with the dry kirsch imported from Eu 
rope. Europeans have white eaux de vi 
made from the second pressing of the 
grapes, called marc in France and grappa 
in Italy, Both are usually rough enough 
to make the fur fi Шу, in many 
European countries, the word. schnapps 
or schnaps or snaps, however you spell it, 
is used to include all strong liquors, from 
the smoothest cau de vie to the most 
skull-splitting of gins, The bilingual Al- 
satians, whose words tumble from French 
to German, olten turn to a bit of Ger- 
man verse to celebrate their white bran- 
dies: “Schnapps das war sein letztes 
Wort | Dann trugen ihn die Engelein 
fort.” Any student majoring in German 
will tell you the lines mean that schnapps 
was his last word before the angels car- 
ried him away, presumably to heaven. 

All of the following recipes make one 
drink and have been tested for their out- 
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AND Toxic 


34 or. mirabelle or quetsch 
1 oz gi 


¥ oz. lemon juice 

Iced quinine water 

1 slice lemon 

Mirabelle, that white brandy made 
from yellow plums; quetsch, from а 
fragrant red plum. Both are equally 
smooth.) Pour mirabelle, gin and lemon 
juice over 3 ice cubes in a tall 10-02, 
glass, Add enough quinine water to fill 
glass and stir lightly. Add lemon slice. 
Even though there's less eau de vie than 
gin, the plum flavor dominates this cool 
terrace dri 


MANHATTAN. MILA 


1 oz. kirsch 


248 tail mixing glass with ice. Stir well. Strain 


into prechilled oversize cocktail glass. 
Lower cherry into glass. Offer a dish of 
warm salted almonds. 


KIRSCH NIGHTCAP 


1 oz. kirsch 

3 ozs. ginger wine 

4 ozs. wi 

1 piece cinnamon stick. 

2 whole doves 

1 teaspoon sugar 

Lemon peel 

Slowly heat ginger wine and water 
to boiling point but do not boil. Pour 
into mug. Add kirsch, cinnamon stick, 
cloves and sugar. Stir well. Twist lemon 
peel over drink and add to mug. A pleas 
ant late-night relaxer any season of the 
year. 


FAUX DE VIE C; 


¥ or. framboise 

14 or. kirsch 

1 oz. Campari 

16 or. lemon | 

V teaspoon grenadine 

Iced dub soda 

Orange peel 

Pour framboise, kirsch, Campari, lem- 
on juice and grenadine into cocktail 
ng glass with ice. Stir well, Strain 
into tall 8.0, glass with 1 or 2 ice cubes. 
Add a splash of soda. Twist orange ресі 
over drink and drop into glass. An 
aperitif to be savored when the slowly 
ig sun and the rising appetite bal 
ance cach other. 


DUTCH PFAR FRAPPÉ 


ndy 


br 
шеше 


114 ozs. Williams pe: 
м, or. Vandermint 
12 or. heavy cream 
15 cup finely crushed ісе 

Sweetened whipped cream 

ndermint, heavy 
cream and to electric blender. Blend 
at low speed about 30 seconds. Pour into 
prechilled old fashioned glass. Add ice 
cubes, if necessary, to fill glass to ri 
Top with dollop of whipped crea 
A dessert cocktail designed to take the 
place of the usual sweet at the end of 
the dinner. The chocolate flavor of the 
Vandermint should satisfy even the most 
fanatic chocomaniacs in your party. 


EGGNOG FRAMBOISE 


6 ozs. milk 

1 egg 

1 oz. framboise 

1 oz. cognac 

Ys or. Jamaica rum. 

2 level teaspoons sugar 

Freshly grated nutmeg 

Pour milk, egg, framboise, cognac, rum 
and sugar into соскі 
ble the usual amount of ice. Sh. 
vishly. Strain into tall 16-02. glass, or into 
two 8-02. glasses if there are two of you. 
Sprinkle with nutmeg. The best possible 
inducement for bringing one willingly to 
the hangover brunch table. 


FRAMBOISE SOUR 


34 or. framboi 
54 ot. fresh lime juice 

2 level teaspoons sugar 

Few dashes bar foam 

1 wedge cocktail orange 

1 frozen or fresh raspberry 

Pour framboise, lime juice, sugar and 
foam into cocktail shaker with ice 
Shake about double the usual time for 
proper dilution. Pour into prechilled 
y-sour glass. Garnish with cocktail 
nge and raspberry. Gives the word 
imy" new and invigorating connota- 
tions. 


CHERRY PLANTER's PUNCH. 


% or. dark Jamaica rum 
% oz. fresh lime jı 
1 generous dash Angostura bitters 
1 teaspoon sugar 
Freshly grated 
1 slice lime 
16 slice orange 
Pour kirsch, rum, lime juice, bitters 
and sugar into 8-02. ned glass. 
Stir until sugar dissolves. Fill glass with 
arcly cracked ice, Stir well. Sprinkle 
h nutmeg. Garnish with lime slice and 
orange slice. A Caribbean eau de vie. 


SOUTHERN RASPBERRY 


34 or. framboise 

34 ог. Southern Comfort 

14 or. lemon juice 

1 teaspoon sugar 

Teed club soda 

1 slice lemon 

Pour framboise, Southern Comfort, 
lemon juice and sugar into cocktail shak- 
er with ісе, Shake well. Strain into tall 
ог squat 8-07. glass. Add a splash of soda 
and enough icc cubes or cracked ice to 
fill glass. Float slice of lemon on top. A 
drink to celebrate the springtime. 


SWEET WILLIAM. 


У oz, Williams pear brandy 

34 от. apricot liqueur or apricot-flavored 
brandy 

34 ог. heavy cream 

ound cinnamon 

Pour pear brandy, apricot liqueur and 
cream into cocktail shaker with ice. 
Shake very well. Pour into prechilled 
cocktail glass. Sprinkle lightly with cin 
namon. For men, an after-dinner dessert 
cocktail. For women, а drink before or 
alter anything. 

Dr. Johnson, an uncquivocating chap, 
once noted that "he who aspires to be. 
a hero must drink brandy." White fruit 
brandies, both in their pristine state 
and as the prime components in mixed 
drinks, may not serve as the true me 
ure of a man, but they certainly provide 
curate barometer of his knowledge- 


ty as а host. 


“Frankly, I'm beginning to think I liked him better 
when he was a ыу 


249 


PLAYBOY 


250 


PLAYBOY 
READER SERVICE 


Write to Janet Pilgrim for the an- 
swers to your shopping questions. 
She will provide you with the name 
of a retail store in or near your city 
where you can buy any of the spe- 
cialized items advertised or edito- 
rially featured in pLaypoy. For 
example, where-to-buy information is 
available for the merchandise of the 
advertisers in this issue listed below. 


же lines for 


other featured merchandise. 


Miss Pilgrim will be happy to answer 
any of your other questions on fash- 
ion, travel, food and drink, hi-fi, etc. 
If your question involves items you 
saw in PLAYBOY, please specify page 
number and issue of the magazine as 
well as a brief description of the items 
when you write, 


PLAYBOY READER SERVICE 


Playboy Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave. 
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А TOP PLAYMATE 


DESADE GRAND HOTELS DR. FELDMAN 


“PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR"—PLAYBOY'S ANNUAL PICTORIAL 
TRIBUTE TO THE TOP PLAYMATE OF THE PAST TWELVEMONTH 


GORE VIDAL, POLITICAL POLEMICIST, PLAYWRIGHT AND AU- 
THOR, SPEAKS OUT ON FASCISM IN AMERICA, MAN'S NATURAL 
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L.B.J. AND R.F.K. IN AN EXCLUSIVE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


“DOWNWIND FROM GETTYSRURG" —A PROVOCATIVE STORY 
IN WHICH ABE LINCOLN IS REBORN ONLY TO DIE AGAIN AT THE 
HANDS OF A NEW JOHN WILKES BOOTH—BY RAY BRADBURY 


“WANDA HICKEY'S NIGHT OF GOLDEN МЕМОН1Е5”--Д 
RIB-ACHING RECOLLECTION OF THAT MOST AMERICAN OF ADO- 
LESCENT RITUALS: THE JUNIOR PROM—BY JEAN SHEPHERD 


“THE ANTI-COMMUNIST CONSPIRACY"'—HOW THOSE PARA- 
NOID PATRIOTS, THE MINUTEMEN, PLOT TO "SAVE" AMERICA BY 
ASSASSINATION AND INSURRECTION—BY ERIC NORDEN 


“DE SADE''—PLAYBOY'S ON-THE-SET UNCOVERAGE OF A FLESH- 
FILLED FILM BASED ON THE MARQUIS’ KINKY PROCLIVITIES 


“А LIFE IN THE DAY OF'"—A NOW TALE OF A FIRST-CLASS 
PHONY'S FLAGGING STRUGGLE TO KEEP ONE STEP AHEAD ОҒ 
THE CHANGING SCENE—BY FRANK M. ROBINSON 


“JULIAN BOND: BLACK KNIGHT"—A REVELATORY LOOK АТ 
A FAST-RISING PUBLIC FIGURE AND AN OUTCAST MEMBER OF 
THE GEORGIA LEGISLATURE—BY DOUGLAS KIKER 


“PLAYBOY'S GUIDE TO MUTUAL FUNDS” —OWNING SHARES 
IN AN INVESTMENT COMPANY CAN PROVE AN UNCOMPLICATED 
AND ENRICHING EXPERIENCE—BY MICHAEL LAURENCE 


“THE GRAND HOTELS’'—A GLOBULAR GLOBE GIRDLER EX- 
POUNDS ON THE PLEASURES AND PITFALLS OF THE WORLD'S 
MOST LUXE CARAVANSARIES—BY ROBERT MORLEY 


“THE AMERICAN NOVEL MADE US"—ALTHOUGH FICTION IN- 
SPIRED НІМ IN THE THIRTIES, AN EMINENT ESSAYIST CONTENDS 
THAT TODAY'S YOUNG CAN BE MOVED ONLY BY WRITERS WHO 
DEAL IN AND WITH REALITY—BY SEYMOUR KRIM 


“l DO NOT LIKE THEE, DR. FELDMAN"—A SERIOCOMIC YARN 
ABOUT A SAINTLY SURGEON WHO RUBS A FELLOW VACATIONER 
THE WRONG WAY—BY HENRY SLESAR 


“PLAYBOY’S GIFTS FOR DADS AND GRADS''—A HOST OF 
RICH REWARDS FOR PATRESFAMILIAS AND BACCALAUREATES 


Harlev- 
Davidson y 
oul-performers 


The new Sprint 350! The world's fastesr 
250 is now 100 cc's faster! Toke all the 
engineering, style, stamino, and speed 
that made Sprint the record-shattering 
250. Lay оп 100 сс of extra power. 
Add c high performance center-bowl 
carb, New mufflers and pipes. A new, 
dry clutch. Now, shorten the wheelbase 


and lower the profile. You've got a hot, 
lean middleweight that makes the 4505 
look over-fed. See the street scrambler, 
Sprint SS or the ultimate scrambling 
machine, Sprint ERS, at your Horley- 
Davidson dealer. He's got the right 
cycle and the right financing. Harley- 
Dovidson Motor Co., Milwaukee, Wis. 


Outperform 
everything 
on two wheels 


“You Americans may have invented 
the dry martini. 


Fortunately, we English gave you 
the Gordon’s Gin for it” 


Miss Tessa Kennedy, London Designer. 


Miss Kennedy’s national pride is understandable. 
Especially in this 200th Anniversary year 
Alexander Gordon’s triumphantly dry discovery. 
It takes Mr. Gordon's g ow you what the “dry” 
in “dry marti 


No wonder Gordon's is the biggest-selling 
gin in England, America, the world! 


PRODUETOFUSA, 100% NEUTRAL SPIRITS DISTILLED FROM GRAIN $0 PROOF SGORDONS ORY O(N CO. LTD, LINDEN; N: