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PLAYBILL 99" ап кмс
sunny as the season
is Connie Kreski—whose appearance on
this month's cover heralds her selection
iymate of the Year, A reg
photographic portfolio of Connie aw
within—along with a kingly abundance
of entertainment for men, as befits the
th that boasts the year’s longest day.
Leading off the issue's fiction—with an
ie tale of an extraordinary assassina-
lion—is master fantasist Ray Bradbury.
“Downwind from Gettysburg” he says,
grew out of a visit to а Disney robot
Glendale. As 1 watched the
ag together the Lincoln. robor, the
factory
"i
aught of Booth and the
that April night in 1865 came to m
nd 1 wrote this story. It is very personal
My hero speaks for me in the midst of
the emotions and confusions that fol
lowed the King and Kennedy asasina
tions.” Upcoming from the Bradbury
pen are an anthology of ste
the Body Electric, and
phants Last in the Dooryard. Bloomed,
his first book of poems.
Ray Russell's tale, Gemini, is a story
of ultimate sibling rivalry. His шем
novel, The Colony (reviewed on page 34)
has just hit the bookstores; and Naked
т Xanadu, his November 1961 ч.лувоу
story, has been acquired for feature
filming—his third rrAvsov. effort to be
adapted lor the screen. At the moment,
Ray is well into his sixth book, a novel
with a subject he describes as top secret
A satirical story of medical intrigue
and a comic glimpse at West Coast hip
le round out this month's fiction. In J
Do Not Like Thee, Dr. Feldman, Henry
Slesar posits the predicument of a well
liked. surgeon whose s inexplicably
threatened: and in A Life in the Day OF.
Frank M. Robinson wittily dramatizes the
cultural shock that occurs when pseudo-
hip meets superhip. Slesar is president
of his own advertising agency but moon-
ights regularly as chief writer for TV's
suspense daytimer Edge of Night. He
ew mystery novel forthcom-
short fiction is included in
е than 75 anthologies. А есап
writer and managing e of the news
magazine Censorship Today, Robinson
lives in San Francisco, where his contact
with the Bay Area underground led to
1 Life. "b was impressed,” he told us,
with the dillerences between those who
are supercool and those merely acting а
vole. With the latter, it's the thing to do:
if wearing lamp shades and swallowing
goldfish were considered hip, the unsure
ones would be doing that.”
Fresh from a one-man comedy triumph
at New York's Town Hall, Jean Shep-
herd returns to with Wanda
Hicheys Night of Golden Memories, a
bittersweet paean to that glorious teen-
institution, the junior prom. Jean
as recenily been hitting the college ta
S. R. O. around
givin performances
the country—and between trips he's fur
thered his love of flying by working
for his instrument rating as а private
pilot. His novel /n. God We Trust, АП
Others Pay Cash, much of which ap-
ared first in these pages, is now under
tion by a major moviemaker
е dismissed by the liberal com
nity as rmless side show of oddi
huwing hatemongers, groups such as
the Minutemen are currently changing
that opinion by entering а new рак
of virulence and violence, In The. Para-
military. Right. reporter Eric Norden ob-
jectively examines the growth and goals
of these sell appointed saviors of liberty—
and his exe
Minutemen to blow up a bunker: we are
also privy to an exclusive interview with
Minutemen chief Robert Bolivar De-
Pugh. hours before he disappeared. 10
avoid а jail term. A frequent. PLAYBOY
aerviewer 1 free-lance writer, Norden
scarching a new book
edge of Gore Vidal's cele
n with several
relates
is in London r
The kee
brated. wit—applied ruthlessly то every-
one hom Bill Buckley to Ted Kennedy
is vividly evident in this month's
Playboy Iutersiew with the author. critic,
politician and polemicist. But the central
focus of the arranging discussion is on
Vidal's fears for the social drift of 4
meri-
al proposals to reverse it.
Little. Brown published Vidal's latest col-
lection of essays, Reflections upon a Sink
ing Ship, in March, andthe writer promises
another novel aher three new Hollywood
projects, inciuding film versions of his
own Julian and Myra Breckinridge.
In Playboy's Guide to Mutual Funds.
Senior itor Michael Laurence, ou
prizewinning investment w
chy the complex. threads of. investme
company finance y that renders it
mot опу comprehensible but. eminently
useful and rewarding as well. Although
this is only Mike's third financial article
for us (the two others: Playboy Plays the
Commodities Market in August 1967 and
Heating Inflation: A Playboy Primer in
March 1968). he's already winning an en-
viable reputation (ог incisive lucidity
combined with a delightfully sprightly
style—a feat that might well make Mike
unique among today's financial scribes
were pleased to report that more such
icles are in the works. He also m
ca. and his radi
yarn involving international monetary
skulduggery and some ghostly goings on
(The Legacy, November 1968).
Alo on hand this month
Seymour Krim, author of N
s ofa
Nemsighted Gannoneer, discusses the in
Писисе of Thirties fiction on his gener:
tion in The American Novel Made Us:
Robert Morley and Robert Daley opt for
the non 1 the daredevil life, re-
spectively: in The Grand Hotels, Morley
pays homage to his favorie lodgings the
BRADBURY
LAURENCE
RUSSELL, ROBINSON
The Risk Takers, D;
ley presents а coterie of men whe repeat-
edly pur their lives on the line—and
alyzes their motivation. LeRoy Neiman
—who's been in the pits at countless in
ternational races—takes an artist's look
п the automotive sporting lile in Le
Mans; and Robert L. Green dips into the
ishionable subject of swim- and après
s. With
world over; and
n-
3
vol. 16, no. 6—june, 1969
PLAYBOY.
Minutemen
Ploymole Winner
Swimwear Р. 115
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CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
PLAYBILL..
DEAR PLAYBOY. е 9
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. - 25
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR... 59
THE PLAYBOY FORUM... T өз
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: GORE VIDAL —candid conversation... 77
DOWNWIND FROM GETTYSBURG —fi -RAY BRADBURY 98
THE PARAMILITARY Е1©НТ—о! ............ ERC NORDEN 102
DE SADE—pictoriol.
THE GRAND HOTELS—arlicle....
HIGH WATER MARKS—attire
THE AMERICAN NOVEL MADE US—erticl
— ROBERT MORIEY 113
5 ROBERT 1. GREEN 115
SEYMOUR KRIM 123
LE MANS— mon at his leisure... cess ДЕВОҮ NEIMAN 124
1 DO NOT LIKE THEE, DR. FELDMAN—ficion. HENRY SLESAR 127
HARE APPARENT —playboy's playmate of the month... 7 _ 128
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor — " 136
THOMAS MARIO 138
ROBERT DALEY 141
RAY RUSSELL 143
PAELLA Y SANGRIA —food and drink
THE RISK TAKERS —arlicle =
PLAYBOY'S GIFTS FOR DADS AND GRADS—sifts_
PLAYBOY'S GUIDE TO MUTUAL FUNDS—ariicle
MICHAEL LAURENCE 151
FRANK M. ROBINSON 153
ROBERT CAROLA 155
A LIFE IN THE DAY OF—fiction
WORD PLAY — satire... ени
PLAYMATE OF THE ҮЕАЕ —рїс!огїа!.........
WANDA HICKEY'S NIGHT OF GOLDEN MEMORIES—humor.. JEAN SHEPHERD 165
...RESTIF DE LA BRETONNE 167
ROBERT |. GREEN 169
JULES FEIFFER 170
THE LADY IN GREEN SLIPPERS—ribald classic...
BREEZY DOES IT—atlire
HOSTILEMAN—satire. 0...
ОМ THE SCENE—person:
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HUGH л
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DEAR PLAYBOY
EJ лон млүвоү масале - PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611
LIBERTARIANISM
Highest praise to Karl Hes for com-
эр back from the left to write The Death
of Politics (prAYmOY, March)—a fresh
bree of reason for the smoke-filled
rooms, Highest praise as well to rivnov
for braving the fury of the power holders
amd power seekers by publ i
Morgan. F
Los Angeles, Californi
The Death of Politics was the best
antide I have ever read in PLAYBOY and I
hope to see more like it. The libert:
with the
consent between individuals.
Bill Sheppard
ty of Arizona
Arizona.
лувоу philosophy of mutual
1 found Karl Hess’ anicle interesting,
but 1 also found myself disagreeing with
most of what he said. His reassertion of
the traditional
ideals of individu
capitalism, which ns
only truly revolut d th:
can take, seems simply reaction
and outmoded American
nd
lism laissez
he m
»nary si
May-
diction of how
line separates revolution from re
mental
orm
but it also reveals а func
Hess’ thinki All sincere
nts in American history have suc
ceeded only to the extent that they have
atiempted to break free of the old ideals
—such as laissez faire and individualism
—to substitute more contemporary doc
trines, such ve responsibility
and governi ion. The mod
industrial economy h
dependent thar the old
economics—free competition, for instance
—no longer work. 1 think Hess could
spend his time more profitably if he
worked to improve politics, instead ol
out on
ter
соте so
aws of classi,
contradictions
Douglas F. Watt
Harvard University
Cambridge. Massachuseus
You've really done it. In The Death of
Politics, by Karl. Hess, the one idea that
rks has been put into the most
potent magazine article ever published
For a number of years, 1 have respected
really w
simil:
aine
ideas of Ludwig Von Mises. Tom
1 others: but never before have
the ideas of archaic modern go
heen
so thoroughly put dow
article. Even the interesting con-
temporary penonalities—the Kennedys,
Goldwaters and Mc saddled
with their own political lameness. Th
are hung up. ma politics. And
as Hess says, just like Linus, they don't
want to give up their blanket. The blan-
ket of politics has, throughout our mod-
n history, been destroying society,
despite the positiveness, creativity and
productiveness of most human beings.
Peter Fleming
Los Angeles, Californ:
con
Thanks for the article by Karl Hess, It
put into р any of us have
been think for years. A few
ilifomians y attempted to make
the principles of libertarianism a reality
by form completely new political
party called the Peace and Freedom Par-
ty. Sad to say, radicals from the New
Left soon took control and mismanaged
the party Our republic
seems to be h rd disaster. One
alternative might be the formation of а
new national political party based on the
concepts of libertarianism and laisser
faire. Д m. new movement
¢ one of the two exist
take your pick.
1o oblivion.
at Berkeley and the. Harvard
law School 1 have been exposed to
what Karl Hess would call the politics of
both the radical and the reactionary
Like Hes, I have developed a philoso-
phy that draws from the thinking ol
Barry Goklw Ayn Rand, Norman
Bruce. Unfortunately.
ckground, which
ble. has left me isolated
ied, confused and abused.
h the political Teftand-right
polarization so socially acceptable in 10
day's America, I have found myself. in.
philosophy
Моге, been strewn im bits
hin my mind. I cannot
my educatioi
would find
capable of bringing together
that has, he
and pieces wi
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truly say that either Berkeley or Harvard
has prepared me to communicate the
ideas I have developed. Fortunately,
Hess has now done so for me. So, to all
my friends on both the right and the
left: Read Hess. Then come and let us
reason together.
Hess ma а
at least he has declared his independence
of the hypocritical clichés, both left and
right, that have long made me become
almost physically ill every time | read
the dates. rehash by a William. Buckley
or а Tom Hayden. The world would
benefit if Hess and others of "
thinking were to become the basis of a
new political movement,
John J. Pierce
The Daily Advance
Dover, New Jersey
j { a steady stream of collec
tivist writing in PLAYBOY, I found The
Death of Politics by Karl Hess а refresh.
i gree with many points in
uments, but I
n of poli
is I do in а
government,
is the unique role of providing
the orderly эптеп within. which
s able enthu-
siasm for liberty, looks for allies where
He finds hope for
SDS does not
sm but posits
iations of socialism. In addition to
key difference between SDS and
Hess the organization, as demonstrated
4 conclusively on the na-
s on coering
ations with whom
In his disenchantment with
iment, a fee
libertarian and notsolibertari
Hess looks for
ng found them
happy. But SDS is not really revolution
ary at all. It proposes, explicitly or in
er government action: an ad-
y liberalism. the
at Hess found so objectionable.
As editor of The New Guard, the
magazine of You
dom, I am in co contact
ves whom Hess finds so hypo:
а authoritarian, Bill Buckley.
gled out in the
alt on the nt 90 years
ago. The phony businessman conserva
nd the WASPish anti con.
servative exist; but from Hes article,
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PLAYBOY
12
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one would conclude that they dominate.
Their influence within the conservative
movement is minuscule. A poll of YAF's
membership, for example, showed almost
по support for George Wallace. YAF
not have a revolutionary image,
because we do not engage in destroying
private property (as SDS does) nor in
otherwise engaging in violent or coercive
activities. But to а pronouncec
lishmentarian like Karl Hess, T suggest
that YAF is, indeed, the revolutionary
wave of the future. › not SDS,
th rs has favored a volunteer
is YAF's "Sharon Statement,
ort Huron. Statement,” that
issez-faire capitalism
Arnold Steinberg, Editor
The w Guard.
Washington, D. C.
for
tary.
t SDS
embraces
Karl Hes tells us that “ultimately
politics denies the rational nature of man
Nonsense. n rational men revered
aged in politics, societies four-
Greece for а time and in th
we period of our own countr
The problems we face today will not be
solved by the abolition of politics. They
can be solved only by recognizing the
overriding importance of politics in this
era of ultima Hess is v
when he says: “Man can survive in an
inclement universe only through the use
in not recog-
nizing that survival depends upon the
best minds! addressing themselves to the
nprovement rather than the destruction
of politics.
Harold Willens, President
Factory Equipment
Supply Corporation
Los Angeles, California
Willens is cochairman of the Business
Executives Move for Vietnam Peace. a
group credited with influencing Lyndon
Johnson's decision to de-escalate the war
and nol to seek re-clection.
Hess is suspect in his assumptions
about human aggression. Perhaps he
would do well to recall the words of the
French anarchist Proudhon: “Liberty
the mother, not the daughter, of order
If Hess ants a free world, he
must stop pussyfooting around with
“governments for defense only," After
all, to carry his reasoning a step further,
gh to defend
our faith entirely in the hands of man.
Lowell Ponte
Los Angeles, California
Ponte is а libertarian-anarchist radio
commentator in Los Angeles.
PILLOW TALK
1 think it was irresponsible of you
to publish Woody Allen's piece on the
delights of shindai, the Japanese wt
of pillow fighting (Shindait, pLaywoy.
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Are you ashamed
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nto the same hotel
as your suitcase?
Febr
the concomitant dangers. P
without a nose guard le:
vulnerable to a feather ием;
ry) without warning the reader of
illow fighting
the novice
of the
nasal ра: cause discomfort
or even temporary ty. The pres
ence of a little foreign body (1 am
not to Woody
the nostril, in at least onc
nce on record, caused the collapse of
berserk shin-
but
ish. such. scan.
aps we should not no
dal by repetition.
1 Routh
London, England
Author Routh speaks with some au
thority, as he wrote "Shindai: the Art of
Japanese Bed-Fighting,” a Dell. paper-
back and the only published source of
information on shindai
DOOR MEN
What would America do without writ-
ers like Robert McNear and short stories
like Deatlrs Door (etaywoy, Minch)? And
what would we do without а ma
like rtaywoy that has the space and the
taste to publish a true literary tour de
force such as this? It's encouragii
in the most contemporary of ma
recognition of the literary values of yes
olay and tomorrow.
Bernard Geis
New York, New York
A former editor of Coronet and edi-
lor in chief at Grosset & Dunlap, Geis
now heads his own highly successful pub.
lishing house.
n in speeches, 1 mention the
there are two important outlets
al short-story w today:
rrAvBoOY and The New Yorker. You are
ing the banner high, giving lot of
ne needed exposure, and. producing
some wonderful short stories їп the
process. 1 do not consider Death's Door
successful as a short story, but I do think
that MeNear develops an eerie quality
at lends а wonderful sense of forcbod
io the tale he tells. 1 feel that after
marvelous sc much
of the rest is cont
ills onto р
y that is too artificial, What the story's
about is grim and t The mood is
preity well sustained throughout, but
what really bothers me is the Гай that
the mechanics of the story аге w
Fortunately for the author, one can
t one саша learn
ner elfort from. Mc
learn mechanics 1
mood. T predict a
iter in Chiel
ny
Ken McCormick,
Doubleday & Comp:
New York, New York
MARSHALL PLAN
Your March interview with Marshall
McLuhan was impressive, His theories
@ 1963 эн. Schn Өтөт Се. Мами and ober ути с.
120 years ago, it took Joseph Schlitz months
aste t e to brew and age his golden mellow beer.
It still takes us months. The golden age is
golden age lb a ыды America’s choicest
e.
of Schlitz * When youre out of Schlitz, you're out of beer.”
PLAYBOY
“йш;
Revelation һа?
changed since
Uncle Charlie
wowed the g
at Coney Island.
Revelation's not
made of sugar
and spice. boys.
dust tobacco:
5 great tobaccos.
Revelatior's for
the experienced
pipe smoker.
^ quality product of Philip Morris U.S.A.
16
iding the commu media
more olten. fascinat under-
ndable-—but interviewer Eric Norden
aged to ask him questions that. pro-
voked some very nd the
Cogent responses,
ary of the media
Anyone the
am will thank
result was а ludd sum
mastermind's
maj
sted in McLul
you for publishing it
Bruce Baker
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
For а periodical that has achieved nota
ble success because of "hor". photographs,
your publication of a splendidly "cool"
interview. with Marshall McLuhan could
be considered a pa atulations.
Thank vou very much for the inter-
view with Marshall McLuhan. Prayvsoy
1 the dav before 1 was to write a
ination for my college com-
position clas, Included in our studies
this term was the work of Marshall
McLuhan, During the final exam, we
were able ло use reference materials, The
students, and especially the instructor.
were surprised to sec, among my relerence
citations, the March issue of PLAYBOY
Terry W. Tihon
Anamosa, Towi
PLAYBOY S interview was
ide ng collection of data
The mountain quakes and out comes the
Tittle mouselike revelations: So McLuhan
joined the Roman Catholic Church, so
McLuhan’s eldest son is becoming a
literary critic. . .. 1 think FI join the
Church and become a literary critic,
icad of following the t m
given in Understanding Media.
Eric Bentley
New York, New York
iv n of thor
CHEERS FOR UNCLE CLAUDE
Jan Kindler's personality sketch. Ely-
sian Fields (ptAYuOY, March). was the
most interesting aud enjoyable агае
about a film or stage personality that 1
have ever read. | n ainly
that W. C F ar outrlasscd
comedians of his time and will continue
to do so as long as his filmy are viewed
Although Fields died 22 years ago, his
popularity is great aud seems to be
increasing. | hope the sponsors of tele
Y ike heed of "Fd rather be in
Philadelphia" and "Who put pineapple
juice in my р and pre
ıt us with a special about the great
misanthrope.
Ost се
се
elds other
ion
»capple juice?
s
Fred Hahne
Warren, Ohio
of accolades should be
besowed upon Jan Kiudler for en
lightening the our idol,
W. C. Fields. Without the comedy filins
^ cornucop
masses abou
of Uncle Claude, this mundane sphere of
ours would be barren, bleak and dank
But amid all his presentalay popularity,
old Willie is still being slighted. 1 urge
every Fields fan 1o write his
television stations and demand that they
show more of his movies. Let us all lift a
martini and drink à toast to the memory
of the funniest man who ever lived:
W. C. Fields, Pardon my redundancy.
Andrew [aysnovitch
W. C. Fields Fan Club
South River, New Jersey
PLANETARY MOVEMENT
My gratitude to PLAyboy for again
exposing its readers to the thought
provoking, mind-blowing experience of
Avihur C. Clarke. His March article,
Next—the Planets, was a masterpicce.
Гапу Milo
Manchester, Connection
Arthur Clarkes article on the future
promise of planetary exploration was
most eloquent affirmation of the direc
tion American space efforts ought to be
taking. 1 say "ought" because it seems
that NASA has no solid plans beyond
the soontoex pire Apollo lunar. pic
am
that
потр
while the Russians, perhaps sensin
simply 1
bout the barren lunar sur
beall and end-all of space exploration,
ing concerted ellorts to get on to
where the action is: the other planets in
a human being
avin
s not the
our solar system.
Harold Stonc
Chicago. Minois
Arthur Clarke neglected to mention a
speculation. perhaps more important. than
the possibility of lile on Jupiter, That
speculation is а hypothesis, first advanced
by Russian astrophysicist Dr. 1, 5. Shklov
sky. that one of the moons of Mars is of
rüficial origin, In 1919, American
omer B. P. Sharpless dereced what
ners call a secular change in the orbit
ti
Phobos is less than 12 miles in diameter
sirom:
stron
‹
of Phobos, the nearer Martian moon.
and circles Mars once every 7 hours, 39
minutes at an altitude of а mere 3700
miles. Sharpless noticed а very small but
discernible acceleration in Phobos’ orbit,
This spece-up is simply not assignable 10
natural cause. unless, as Shklovsky
supposes, the satellite is hollow (and
therelore artificial). Hi
dead, since it is rather quiet as а radio
s also probably
source, Shklovsky’s hypothesis may be
playing ficant pint in the Soviet
Union's continuing commitment to plan
etary probes. Conlirmation of the hy-
pothesis would certainly be а discovery
without precedent, amd direct human
study of Phobos might be comparable,
in the level of excitement generated, 10
turning Aristotle loose in the Sm
nian. If Shklovsky is right and if the
hso-
Johnny Carson. star cf NBC's “Tonight” Show
Smirnoff makes the Blizzard howl.
Smirnoff comes to the rescue of hum-drum summer drinking with the
Smirnoff Blizzard: An avalanche of Smirnoff over packed ice. А.
wag of lime. Then a frigid blast of Fresca? But unless you insist on Smirnoff,
your Blizzard could fizzle into just another summer downpour.
. *
© nir по. you breathless.
Vodka
Photographed at the Jamaica Playboy Club-Hotel
The wet-set is making waves in the
Kings Road Collection.
Out with trunks. In with swinging swimstuff. That's
what’s making waves right now. In The-Men’s-Store.
The truth of the matter is, we still have boxer-type
swim trunks for guys who like to play it safe.
But if you’d rather play it for style, we have
the belted one-piece (looks like two) tank suit. The
28-inch calf length Long John with belt. And the great
John L. suit, belted and 17-invincible-inches long.
The material is cool, fast-drying nylon.
The colors are red, white and blue. And
as for the prices, they’re each under $10.
Add an extra long beach shirt in cotton
Jersey, under $6. And join the swinging wet-set
now. In The-Men’s-Store.
P.S. Charge all your swimstuff on Sears
Revolving Charge.
When you want
to see
as well as you look
PLAYBOY
—the serious sun-
glasses. Many sunglasses are only
dark glasses that shut out light. SUN-
VOGUES filter out harmful infrared
and ultraviolet rays. The lenses are
ground optically correct to prevent
distortion. Over thirty designs for
men and women. Through the Eye
Care professions and at finer stores.
From eight to twenty-five dollars.
UNVOGU
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MNE
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CORPORATION
20
Russians get there first, they might end
up with the whole pie in a shorter time
than we can imagine.
Jerome Sullivan
Dothan, Alabama
In reading Arthur С. Clarke's lucid
article, I took exception only to the
superoptimistic editorial blurb that in-
troduced Clarke's excellent account. The
blurb began: “With conquest of the
moon virtually accomplished. . . .
е to be picayune, but in one
clause of one sentence wis encompassed
—by a ry of the New
in the Ith Ce
a thousand voyages of explo
first, second and umpteenth labo:
crossings of North and South Americ
trepid explorers, and who knows how
лу skirmishes and battles between and.
mong competing great powers.
Clarke protected himself with a few
well-chosen, hedging remarks. But. your
editors should be more tious. For
Arthur C. Clarke: four stars. And for
that blurb writer: one day on a black
sun.
A. E. van Vogt
Hollywood, Califor
Van Vogt is the creator of such scifi
s as “Slan” and "The World of
Nulla.”
GREAT GUNS?
Thank you for publishing Senator Jo-
seph Tydings article, Americans and the
Let's hope his
aches our
Gun, in your March issue.
dear amd rational message т
ators and Congressmen, so that strong
gun-conuol legiskition—registration and
licensing of all guns—will soon be passed.
Karen Turnbull
Lahaina, Hawaii
Senator Tydings has clearly spelled
out the issue
statement of the facts—is thev
the gun lobbyist imagines them. As for-
mer commissioner of Internal Revenue
1 proud to have played a part in
з Control Act of 1968,
with Tydings tremendous help.
heldon $. Cohen
Washington, D. C.
ciate full well Senator Tydings
frustrations over the defeat of
eure that would have required
of gun owners and the
n of firearms. In October 1
n work on a bill to control
Il firearms in the state of
After an extremely difficult
«victorious in June
1966, with the passage of that
has been hailed as the best gun-control
law in the Tt docs not appear
likely, however, that many other states
will overcome the pressure of the Na
tional Rille Association and enact con-
trols such as we have in New Jersey. This
registrat
my office be
the sile of
New Jersey
effort, we emer
a law
ation.
ig the case—i
control,
I have to с
the public desires gun
nd I believe it does—Congress
ict a program of Federal
licensing and registration. The concept
of gun control is regulatory, not con-
fiscatory. We believe that the sanest ap-
proach to preventing gun crimes is to
prevent guns from falling into the hands
of undesirable persons. With all of the
fear about crime and violence today, one
would think that every American would
be willing to bear the slight inconven-
ience involved in a gun-control program.
The proliferation of guns may not be
desirable, but at least the law-abiding
citizen who thought he needed a gun
would know that he could get one legally,
while those with the obvious propensity
for crime and violence could not. If this
society must have guns, then let us en-
sure that only decent pcople can get
them.
Arthur J. Sills
Attorne:
Trenton,
I consider myself a concerned and
devoted. sportsman-hunter, like Senator
Tydings. | am also а member of the
condemned National Rifle Association.
However, I agree with the Senator on
the need for effective gun-control legis
lation. Registration of firearms seems. to
me and to other members I have spoken
to, a reasonable answer.
The good Senator says that no reg-
istration fee would be charged. Мапу
INew York sportsmen find this laughable.
We were fed the same line last year in
New York. Many of us supported the
gun-registration bill—not realizing that
the money-hungry administration would
slap a registration fee on us. The fee
is only three dollars, and this isn't bad.
Tor the average gun owner. But for
the collector, it is a real burden. There
is now talk of gradually increasing the
fee— perl per gun
Looking to New York as an example,
how can Senator Tydings expect support
from a group of people being so tyran-
nized?
ps to as much as S25
Frank Joy
Uniondak
; New York
Tydings glosses over the importance of
enforcing existing laws. I doubt
ing another gainst breaking the law
would be an effective solution to the
crime problem. Gun control alone would
probably have little effect on the increas-
ing crime rate in the U.S. Permissive
court decisions favoring the rights of the
criminal over those of the victim do
more damage. And the lack of law en
forcement most assuredly is an important
factor. How many unenforced laws did
Sirhan Sirhan violate in Californi
he used a concealed handgun to kill
Senator Robert F. Kennedy? Two, three.
five, ten? How much beter would
E pass
w
when
Like getting two tires in one.
New Firestone
Sup RBelt
Wide Oval.
Twice the mileage.
Because it's twice the
tire. Polyester cord body.
Reinforced with two fiber-
glass Sup-R-Belts. Belts
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found a way to add more
protective coating. Result:
Cord stays strong.
The Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. 1968.
B
x
М
)
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the situation be if two, three, five or ten
add
onal unenforced laws were added
to the existing body of unenforced laws.
T am not gun nut. Г am not even a
gun buff. I am just sick and tired of
proliferating. ineffective and expensive
overnmental controls. Let's kick this
little-old-Tady hysteria. remove the crim
inal from his privileged pedestal and
preserve а touch of “live-and-let-live” for
the law-abidi
majority.
L D. Quill
Camp Spr
s. Maryland
Your article on gun controls was the
final impetus to set me doing something
I've been meaning по do for a long tim
Today 1 sent in my application to the
National Rifle Association
Robert W. Mausolf
Salt Point, New York
OVERWHELMED
1 wish to thank you for publishing
Gahan Wilson's March cartoon. feature.
Overkill. Wilson's olfbeat humor is the
first thing I look for in your magazine
W. Scott Thornsley
Harrisburg, Pennsylvan
Gahan Wilson's Overkill transforms
the cartoon into eloquent. trenchant so
cial satire. His portrayal of the violence-
loving American society is as revealing
(and humorous) as it is frightening.
Harry Agensky
McGill University
Montreal. Quebec
KOOK'S TOUR
C. Robert Jennings’ Cultwille U.S. А.
in the March rtAYBoY was so penetrating
wb convincing that any hopes I ever
harbored about moving my family to the
Golden State were shattered. E previously
thought that the genuinely sick, schizo-
phrenic lunatics in this country were
those students who were demonstratin
or protesting. or whatever, at our Uni-
versity of Wisconsin. But after |
of Californias pathetic psychopathic
weirdos, practicers, Satanic
Masses, Ката Sutra. posters, Mephisto-
phelean beards, dirty-white loincloths,
spontaneous prajna, Esoteric Qabalistic
Healin
Astarianry and their
and practices, I have firmly resolved to
intelligent and normal
family right here.
arning
kinhin
Services. Vedanta. Zen, Sufism,
ludicrous beliefs
raise my sane,
John Gueinzius
Appleton, Wisconsin
Do you realize that you are practically
the first publication to even mention the
existence of Sufis? There are more Sufis
in the world than all other mystical
groups presidents of
both. Pakistan and India, not necessarily
friendly toward each other, have both
been involved in this movement, The
combined. The
country of Iraq, now in turmoil, was
organized largely by Sufis.
The fact that you have mentioned
Sufism (and me) at all is to me so impor
tant that I can overlook Jennings
ing the field of medical diagnosis to say
T wheeze when I talk. J do mot recall
having wheezed once since infancy. I can
also overlook Jennings saying that a
beautiful blonde lady who was attracted
то me was ап
enter
idhead. Did he пу
Kissing her to find ош? This is а lan-
m
stand. But mystics don't neces
humor: We are far from being dualistic
puritans, Thanks and God bless you.
Samuel Lewis
Sufi Ahmed Murad Christi
Los Angeles, California
lers of praynoy could under-
rily decry
ge re:
d that а certain
I was appalled to r
bald-headed man claimed that I
Satanist. | know that when onc is а
public ligure, one's name is used without
veracity by various groups to lend cre-
dence to their causes; and generally, said
causes are innocuous enough to require
no rebuttal. However, being labeled a
Satanist is а degrading accusation, as this
am a
cult represents the opposite of my belief.
I want to state here that 1 have never
considered being, nor ever
would consider being, part of a Satanist
cult. My bag is love, not hate
Barbara McNair
Los Angeles, California
been, nor
1 am saddened that Jennings failed
to mention the Paratheo:Anametimys-
tikhood of Eris Esoteric (POEE). About
а decade ago. the goddess Eris revealed
herself to the Keepers of the Sacred
Chao (namely, Lord Omar Khayyam
Ravenhurst and myself) and it that
time, she explained tha
not everybody
would understand her glory at first
glimpse. But she did not prepare me for
the disappointment I encountered in
Jennings’ article. Your hopefully inad-
vertent omission of the world's first true
religion has only succeeded in furth
popular ignorance of the mos. profound
metaphysical revelation to hit the holy
market since the Bo Tree Episode. Please
iake amends by printing this leer and
disclosing that the world could not be so
messed up without a reason. Somebody
had to put all this confusion here. Her
name is Eris (known to the Greeks as
the goddess of strife and renamed Dis-
by the Romans) and she did it
because she likes it this way. Understand-
ng
cordi;
ing this simple fact is absolutely all any-
one has to understand about. anything.
Don't let those Fanatic nuts mislead you.
Just beware: Big Mother is watching
Malaclypse the Younger. K. S.
Omnibenevolent Polyfather
of Virginity in Gold
Fullerton, California
When it’ time
to stop playing
a round.
` In beer, going first class is MICHELOB.Period.
ANHEUSER-BUSCH, INC. « ST. LOUIS
[ДЕА
WOMEN
AROUND BY
THE, NOSE.
So
N HOLLAND
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS
n April of 1966, we took note in these
I pages of the trend toward exotica in
the naming of rock groups and predicted
that future pop charts might well list
such odd aggregations as Thom McAn
nd the Loafers, Jack Daniels and the
Four Roses or Judas and the Shekels.
Fhe unchecked proliferation of rock
groups in the three years since then,
we're happy to report, has spawned a
flock of names even farther out than
those we conjured up. While this bizarre
nomenclature initially seems to defy cate-
gorization, exhaustive study reveals sever
al common formulas for rubbing rock
fans thc Onc of the most
popular ploys is an appeal to infantilism
ie., the subliminal suggestion that the
item on sale is not merely a group of
musicians bur also something good to
chew, cuddle or suck. Hence, we have
Bubble Puppy, Lollipop Shoppe, The
Candymen, the Apple Pie Motherhood
па. the Peanut Butter Conspiracy
Peppermint Trolley Company. the M
mallow Highway, the Chocolate Waich-
band, the Cake, the 1910 Fruit Gum
Company, Ultimate Spinach and. Vanilla
Fudge. Other group names employ im.
y reminiscent of childhood fables, such
the Tuneful Trolly and the Wozud
of Iz, Yet others try to capitalize on the en-
during allure of the traveling side show:
this tinsel-bedecked genre includes. Dr.
West's Medicine Show and Junk Band,
Circus. Maximus, Captain. Beefheart and
his Magic Band and the Salvation
Gypsy Carnival C;
In stark. contrast to such lighthearted
cognomens are the names used by those
groups who elea to put on the establish-
ment by seeming to represent it. Such
ensembles include the National Gallery,
the Corporate Body, the American Revo-
lution, Mount Rushmore, Mother Love,
Big Brother and the Holding Company,
the Sound Investment, the Brooklyn
Bridge, the Status. Cymbal, the Electric
Flag. the GTA. (Chicago Transit Au-
thority), the King James Version and even
the United States of America. As о
might expect, there is also a sizable cote
of combos who prefer to advertise th
right wa
agi
avan.
n
alienation and aberration: the Velvet
Underground, the Deviants, the Petal
Pushers and the Asylum Choir. Some.
like the Churls, the Fugs and the Outlaw
Blues Band, are manifestly bellicose in
proclaiming their antiestablishmentarian-
ism. Other groups, weary of earthly trib-
ulation, are apparently looking forward
to the new millennium: the Godz, the
Act of Creation, the Mighty Redeemers,
Salvation and Tomorrow
Since not everyone is content 10 wait
for divine deliverance, it's not surprising
that mysticism, the occult and the vari
ous symbols of offbeat religious lactions
abo have prominent places in the rock
lexico
‚ us the Sacred Mushroom, Nir-
vana, the Druids of Stonehenge, the
Devil's Anvil. the Prophets, the Pen-
tangle and the Seventh Sons can at-
test. Not all mystical quests end up in the
stratosphere, however; others focus on the
fertile soil of our planet, and groups such
as Mother Earth, the Nitty Gritty Dirt
Band and the Grateful Dead appear to
be as groundbound as rock "n roll can
get An even larger percentage of rock
groups have followed the example of the
Beatles by toremistically decl their
affinity with particular animal species:
the Tron Butterfly, the Moray Eels, RI
noeros, the Yardbirds, the Elephants
Memory, the Insect Trust, Steppenwolf
and Serpent Power, among many others.
Some especially antisocial assemblages,
such as Pearls Before Swine, even go
far as to hang the animal imagery on
their potential patrons. A few vegetar
groups eschew animals entirely in favor
of plants, especially those with
the Gi
p powers:
flower. the Swamp Seeds, Morn
the Flower Pot Men and the Grass
Roots
While rock groups depend on audible
auli to move their audiences,
few aggregations of this post-
age whose names—such as the
t Edition, the Graffiti and Rainbow
Press—emphasize the reluctance of print
culture to roll over and play dead. One
group has even seen fit to use as their
own, in lolo and without modification,
or visual sti
there are
liter
the name of author Н. Р. Lovec
And there's а separate stratum of groups
whose appellations have been culled
from the vocabulary of William Bur-
roughs; foremost among them are Canned
Heat and the Soft Machine.
In light of our 1966 predictions and
the subsequent avalanche of even more
improbable group names, wed т
not risk predicting the top rock attrac-
tions of 1970. It seems safe to say, how.
ever, that the basic formulas will not
change substantially; indeed, they seem
to have been handed down intact from
the ancients, who organized such weirdly
named musical groups as the Ink Spots,
the Cliquot Club Eskimos, Harry Horlick
and the AXP Gypsies, Fred Waring and
His Pennsylvanians and Phil Spitalny
and His All-Girl Orchestra
ther
To Whom It May Concern: RCA has
developed а kind of intra-uterine carly-
warning system for ladies who don't
want babies. It’s a contraceptive coil, with
electronic components built in, that re-
sponds to the waves of a nearby tr
miter by resonating and giving off a
signal of its own. When in proper posi-
tion, the coil broadcasts an electronic all
clear; if it's dislodged or misshapen,
however, the wireless operator gets an
electromagnetic 5 О S. The от rec-
ommends monthly checkups; but to be
completely secure, the cautious swain
ıt be well advised to have one of the
transmitters built into his mattress and
the receiver hooked up 10 a siren. Or
better yet, have her take a pill
ay
Unewrthir able treasure chest,
the Chicago Tribune reports that "Cus-
toms ollicials at Djakarta's Kemayora
rport became suspicious of а woman
because of the extraordinary size of her
bust. In fact, she was so top heavy she
tattered when she walked. They searched
her and found 62 pounds of gold hidde
in her bra. She was held for smuggling.
Herb Caen notes in his Sam Francis-
co Chronicle column that “Target Smut,
ап antismut film made by а Los Angeles
25
PLAYBOY
26
Wevebeen +
worthy
of your trust
for 174 years.
+
BEAM
Jim Beam.
World's finest Bourbon since 1795.
86 PROOF KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY
DISTILLED AND BOTTLED BY THE JAMES B. BEAM DISTILLING CO., CLERMONT, BEAM, KENTUCKY
‘dean literature’ group, has been banned
in Minneapolis as too smutty for audi-
ences the
rably subjective item on the
chair, the London Tim
Lewis, the poet laur
to nominate Roy Fuller, the much re-
spected poet . . . whose recent slimy
volume New Pocms was received with
something approaching rapture.”
the question
fornia’s Piece
asked by neon signs for Ca
О' Pizza chain.
The Boston. Globe vecently published
a recipe for French dressing that was
omitted somehow from the Alice B. Tok-
Jas cookbook; among other ingredients,
it called for "V, cup acid."
Sexual Revolution, Department of
Motor Vehicle An ad in the Florida
Ste University student newspaper of
fered for sale a “1965 Honda 50. el-
lent running condition—just overhauled.
Must sell —I'm. preg (You meet the
nicest people on a Honda.)"
The last word on equality for women
comes to us from Ontario, where Mrs.
ava Sabia, alderwoman and outspoken
mpion of women's rights, told the
Federation of Women Teachers Assoc
ing comes out of the Roy
sion on the Status of Wi
ray to God and hope She will
al Comm
then lei
help us
The following graffito was spotted in
а New York subway station scrawled—
perhaps by the dirty old man fom Lang
In—on an ad for the film Chitty Chitty
Bang Bang: IT'S NOT As GOOD AS А NITIY-
GRITTY GANG DANG.
Department of Jurisprudence, Evolu-
tion Division: An article in The Phila-
delphia Inquirer read, in part: "Under
challenge was а aw which
forbids teaching ankind ascended
or de fi -
mals
of
The
out
ly next fall, then rule whether
such а man is constitutional."
imes seen in the window
t board: WE HONOR
Sign of the
of a Chicago d
ALL DRAFT CARDS.
That Ought to Teach "Em: Until 175
years ago in England. anybody convicted
of attempting suicide was hanged.
We applaud the candor of the frustrat-
cd fellow who placed the following ad in
the Bartlesville, Oklahon Examiner-
Enterprise: “Part—full ti I need three
Express
Yourself.
Do it. Take off down the road to Freedom.
Alone. Or with someone else who wants to go
someplace else as much as you do.
Suzuki can take you there.
Eight new sportcycles. Eight new ways to
get you where you're going, fast.
Take a look at our Т-50011 Titan. A top
speed range of 110-120 mph. 47 blazing-fast hp.
High-speed red-lined tires. Colors that jump.
amous Dual-Stroke
speedo /tach panel.
d more. A lot more. And of course,
the Suzuki 12 month /12,000 mile Warranty
for added protection.
The Suzuki Titan. Big, fast, stable, powerful.
Get on it. It's the most exciting
new form of expression 5
you'll find. A
PLAYBOY
28
for a man's cologne end
with Numero Uno:
In all the world there are only four basic
masculine scents. With the Searcher Kit; you get the best
of each—all different, all wild.
‘Try all four. Then get a full-sized bottle of the one
that makes itfor you.
(€) Le Mans Inc. 1969
girls who will to replace three girls who
won't Call Mr. Vermillion, Room D.”
Unnecessary Footnotes Department:
On Route 17 between New Bern and
Jacksonville, North Carolina, а sign
stuck in a field prodaimed, UNITED kiss
OF AMERICA—MEETING —-TONIGHT—s-10
PAL—PUnG wrrcowr. Underneath,
squeezed in as an afterthought, were the
words wire ONLY
A men's outfitic
is apily off
the Man Who Has Everyili
Greenwich Village
"For
BOOKS
Cuban dictator Fulgencio Batista in-
sisted that Fidel Castro was dead and
that his guerrilla force in the Sierra
Maestra. had heen wiped out. But in
Herbert Matthews of
Times published an in-
terview with Castro, He was not only
alive and well but quite for lable, as
Senor Batista w soon to discover.
Matthews has visited Cuba and Castro
often since then, and he has г widely
about the Cuban Revolution. In Fidel
imon & Schuster), he ha
a history and analysis of that revo-
lution and a study of the complicated
man responsible for initiating and sus-
taining it. An experienced, empirical
ist—he was 57 when he met the
-old Castro—Mauthews is no prop-
agandis He docs not attempt 10 еш
phemize the absence of [ree speech and
a free press astro’s Cuba, nor does
he agree with all the works of the revo-
lution. On the other band, Matthews
makes dear what the | fts of the
revolution have been to the mass of
Cubans and rebus several prevailing
written
The country 1
Communist, for example, but it is Cas-
по who remains in charge; as both the
Russians and the Chinese have found
out, Cuban communism is bristlingly na
Hionalistic, exploratory and self-defining
To consider Castro а pawn of
[e
misconception of the man
revolution that, Matthews feels, cannot
be reversed, no matter what happens to
Castro. It is deeply rooted in Cuba not
because the masses have become ardent
MarxiscLet ists but because. this ha:
been а radic
the most rem
ing the odd
more than
mmunist bloc shows a funds
social revolution, one of
rkable in history, consider
: Castro never һай
is before coming
9: and his worst
enemy, the most powerful nation on
earth, is only 90 miles away. This is a
lucid guide to Castro’s decade; and, along
with Lee Lockwood's 1967 book. Castro's
Cuba, Cuba's Fidel, it is essential reading,
for those who would understand this
DEWARS PROFILES
(Pronounced Do-ers “White Label")
RON BUCK
HOME: Malibu, California
AGE: 39
PROFESSION: Lawyer, writer, entrepreneur.
HOBBIES: Painting, writing screen plays.
LAST BOOK READ: A Lost King.
LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Brought The
Factory into being, Hollywood's discothéque for
the important people who like to swing.
QUOTE: “Frankly, Е hate the snobbery and the
pretense; it’s how to lose friends and not influence
people. But if you're going to be in the game you
might as well play as best you can.”
PROFILE: Confident, successful, but still
struggling for an important way to express his
feelings about a. frail world and its people.
SCOTCH: Dewar's "White Label"
BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY - В.Е PROOF - © SCHENLEY IMPORTS CO.. К.Ү. К.Ү.
Dewar’s never varies
Forty fine whiskies from the hills and glens
of Scotland are blended into every drop of
Dewar's "White Label."
Then, one by one, they're brought together
by the skilled hand of the master blender
of Perth. 29
D /
N
The 28051. is the grand total
of everything Mercedes-Benz
engineers have learned
about high-performance
sporting machinery.
Mercedes-Benz— greatest name in
autoracing.
Tosomeinthe younger
generation, that may seem a put-on.
It'snot. No other car maker
has come close to the Mercedes-Benz
record of over 4,400 competition
victories—a glittering heritage
thatstretches back to the winner of
history's first auto race in 1894.
Mercedes-Benz sped to
supremacy through the decades
witha variety of mighty machines.
The Blitzenbenz— record holder
for 24 years. The immortal SSK.
The W125, awesome 646-horsepower
Grand Prix car.
In the background, you see a
Mercedes-Benz standard-bearer of
the 50's: theinvincible "Gull Wing."
Like Mercedes-Benz cars before
and since, it bristled with sophisti-
cated engineering innovations. First
tubular-frame chassis. First
fuel-injection engine.
The Gull Wing soared to
legendary triumphs, sometimes
obliterating the checkered flag in
ablur of silver three cars deep.
Close descendant of the Gull
Wing, the 280SL possesses an almost
identical snout—and similarly shat-
tering abilities. Yet many experts
balk at calling it a true sports car.
“It's just too comfortable," they say.
And that’s the genius of this
aristocrat. It’s the one thoroughbred
sporting machine that isn't cramped
or hard-riding. That doesn't make you
pay with ringing ears for a driving
experience that can stiryour soul.
(Price: $7,000 to $9,000,
depending on options, taxes, etc.)
When Mercedes-Benz retired
from competition in 1955 on the heels
of two World Championships,
American auto makers were growing
more active in racing.
The results are ironic. Many
U.S. cars now sport the trappings of
racers—the stripes, the contours,
the names— but little of the basic
engineering. And today's Mercedes-
Benz cars, though classically simple
on the outside, are endowed with
the hearts of champions.
Where no domestic sedan has
the tenacious road-holding of a racer's
all-independent suspension, every
Mercedes-Benz does. Where no
domestic sedan has the heroic stopping
power of a racer's 4-wheel disc
brakes, every Mercedes-Benz does.
If you appreciate the joys—
and safety—of superb handling,
arrange to test a Mercedes-Benz.
Whichever of 15 models
you choose, from $4,500 to $27,000,
pause as you slip inside. Grasp the
wheel.Listen.
Seeifthe whisper
doesn't come: "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
Background: 30051, "Сш Wing." Foreground: new 280SL, its descendant.
For a free, 2' x 3' wall poster of this photograph in full color, visit your nearest Mercedes-Benz showroom.
соруп 1341 Mensedcetena а Noch Amarica tn,
PLAYHBO!Y
32
to capture your approaching vision."
You could even backwards, from а 50mm telephoto
shot to B. ¢ angle, and keep the vision away for awhile. Ҹ
The Rokkor lens power zooms in 4 to 8 seconds. And the super-8
Minolta Autopak®-8 КІ has an automatic electric eye and а
power film drive from regular speed to extra slow motion. It’s
under о plus case. (Other Autopak-'s start at under $120
plus cas
TN
keep their
gin up!
°
Let down on the
distinctive dryness,
the delicate flavour of
Gordon's Gin? Never!
Every bottle is based
on Mr. Gordon's original
1769 formula. So you
pour a drier drink
in 1969, our 200th
Anniversary year.
A fanatic devotion to
our discoverer?
Perhaps.
But then any other
way just wouldn't be
cricket!
ETRE
EO
ЕХ
PROOUCT OF U.S.A, 1005: NEUTRAL SPIRITS DISTILLED FROM GRAIN. S0 PROOF. GORDON'S ORY GIN C0., LTD., LINDEN, N.J,
singular man and the portents of his
revolution for the rest of Latin America
—and for the United States.
n Genet, so the story goes, wrote
his first and perhaps greatest novel, Our
Lady of the Flowers, on brown paper
supplied p inmates in France to
make b: i ” time, His latest
book to be published here, actually
written 25 years ago, Funeral Rites (Grove).
ems to have been inscribed on a flim-
пасс. Genet's usually powerful
combination of intense homosexual-
inal gossip, exacerbated Catholic
nd existential
set forth in a poetic rhetoric that never
loses touch with a weird psychological
truth—somehow doesn’t ignite in u
novel. Ostensibly а lament оте
death of а young lover killed fight
the Resistance battle for Paris, it is v
an exploration of power
fold corruptions and betra
ic world of the prison—magical at
least in Genet's imagination—has here
been replaced by the very real world of
rench polit nch patriots of
s were united in
aation,
Genets hangup with bourgeois hypoc-
risy leads him into elaborately absurd
ellorts to shock his countrymen by de-
picting Joan of Arc (symbolically,
Charles de Gaulle) as a bedraggled slut
and by hailing Hitler the master
queer who gets his kicks by sending
handsome young men to the slaughter,
What is often intriguing in Genet sud-
denly becomes callous and, more fatally,
йу, such ty of Nazi
power and its criminal abuses, cannot be
fitted into Genet's p юп of the
tortured dialectic between brute strength
and compliant passivity. Funeral Riles
was written in 1944, in the heat of the
moment; by 1958, when he completed
his play The Blacky, Genet had found a
way to deal with a highly charged politi
al question that was moving and true 10
both himself and histo
The Tragedy of Lyndon Johnson (Knopl),
according to historian Eric Goldman, is
that of “the strong man overwhelmed
by fores from within and without”
Goldman ought to know. He spent
ee years in the White House
llectual in residence, а
position that seems to have yielded few
rewards beyond the material һе col-
fe with L.B. J.
was always chaotic and
sometimes humiliating. Goldman is not
ely clear as to which forces from
in finally defeated the President.
it his mania for secrecy? His sus-
verging on paranoia, of all criti-
picio
cism, even when it was friendly and
constructive? His spread-eagle patriot-
ism, which caused him to leap before he
|| [Г] year at $10 (save $3.00 off $13 single-copy price)
In this fast-charging, fast-changing
world, you can rely on it: PLAYBOY
is always good news. And the good
word, too. Our beat is the man’s
world — and we cover it on the up-
beat all year long.
IN PLAYBOY the accent's оп enter-
tainment — that happy blend of the
fun and the fascinating, the new
and the noteworthy, fiction ond fact
— to make every page, every pic-
torial, worth a discerning man's time
and attention.
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WHY MISS SELLOUTS? Why miss
anything? There's a whole wonder-
ful world of ond in PLAYBOY, the
magazine for, by and about men
in the know. You!
THE UPBEAT — the funniest fiction
now being written by such sages of
satire as Art Buchwold, Jean Shep-
herd, Bill Cosby, Roger Price, P. G.
Wodehouse. Cartoonery and fool-
ery from the riotous PLAYBOY regu-
lars: Silverstein, Gahan Wilson, Erich
Sokol, Interlandi, Dedini and the
rest of the best. THE CLEAR BEAT—
exclusive interviews to entertain and
enlighten: fact, fun and even furor
from newsnotables like Gore Vidol,
Ralph Nader, Don Rickles, Stanley
Kubrick—and whoever's new next.
EDITORIAL EXPEDITIONS — into the
colorful, еуеп the controversial. It
was PLAYBOY who first presented
Rep. Thomos B. Curtis’ revolutionary
plan to end the draft; Justice Wil-
liam О. Douglas’ wornings about
invasion of privacy in the U.S.;
Bishop James A. Pike's olternative to
income tax — taxing organized reli-
gion. PICTURE PORTFOLIOS—those
glamorous girls, those leading ladies
from the near and far corners of
the world. JAZZ with Not Hentoff.
TRAVEL with Len (Ipcress File) Deigh-
ton. RACING with Ken W. Purdy.
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Г] payment enclosed
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y ———— a | 33
PLAYBOY
34
Any car wax
will bead water.
Swell, but water isn’t what ruins
your car’s paint. What will ruin it
is bad stuff like industrial smog,
road tar, tree sap, and you-know-
what. To keep bad stuff from your
car's paint, give it the protection
of the hardest, most durable wax
known, carnauba wax, the secret
of Classic Wax.
Just rub on Classic Wax with
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Classic Wax. The good stuff
that keeps off the bad stuff.
CLASSIC PRODUCTS,LTD.,
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looked wherever some small. benighted
fronted the American flag (in
n the Dominican Republic, in
Vietnam)? Mainly, Goldman seems to be
ying, it was L. B.J.'s failure to under-
stand the manners and motivations of
Metroamericins,” Goldman's compound
ge for that rising class of suburban-
ites who cherish style, status and the
memory of John Е. Kennedy. The Metro-
american, he s “liberal without
ideology . . . flexible. р ic and a
devotee of the ironic edg The ill-
starred. White House Festival of the Arts,
which Goldman organized, was in ta
device to enthrall Metroamerici. Begin-
ning as а pseudo event, it grew into an
unmitigated disaster when Robert. Low-
ell refused а White House invitation on
the grounds that his presence would im-
ply an endorsement of the war in Viet-
nam. Other luminaries followed suit. and
some of those who showed up circulated
antiwar petitions. The futility of thc
festival seems symbolic, Despite his loyal-
ty and forbearance—until the pul
поп of this book-—Goldman himself
never won the President's confidence.
L. В. J's suspicion of Eastern intellectu-
als was lodged deep in his Texas heart.
These people.” he kept muttering
“What do they want from me?” He never
found out.
idelman, a self-confessed failure as a
painter, came to Italy to prepare a criti-
cd study of Giono. .. ." Thus begins
Pictures of Fidelman (Farrar, Straus & Gi-
roux). Fidelman, born in the Bronx,
ing a pair of oxblood shocs. o:
much to an archetypal sister by the n
of Bessie, come pilgrim, expe
у and defeat, undergoes metamot
phosis, gives up art and emerges the mas-
terpiece of his creator. Bernard Malamud.
An Exhibition. the subtitle, is perfect for
this work, а portion of which has illum
nated PLAYBOY'S pages. It doesn't have the
construction that а novel is supposed to
have but is, rather, a series of vivid fres
coes. Part real. part allegorical, the ex-
hibition depicts. man—Fidel-man. the
thful one—who begins his pilgrimage
{айу pure in heart and ends blasted and
betrayed, but still faithful in his fashion.
During the journey. Fidelman learns
humility through Shimon Susskind, а con-
stipated prophet who sells religi
trinkets in Roman. plazas and embodies
more Giotto in a shrug than
manages to incorporate into his entire
manuscript. Everybody puts Fidelman
down—an Italian girl painter with whom
he lives and sometimes loves: pimps and
prostitutes; the public
himself, who knows in hi:
we
pus
delman
ma
que
comes to the т g in art. he is a
schlimazel. Malamud. however, is the
real thing. To take one's gilt to the
borders of the possible, and then beyond,
courting absurdity in the abstractions of
the spirit, is a risk few dare to take.
Malamud dares, And here he succeeds
Hilariowsly funny. colorful as Chagall.
sad as history. profound as art, and al
s with irs tenacious roots decp in
Jewish soil, Pictures of Fidelman fulfills
ihe dream of every artist: by his art, to
transform man into myth,
There have been many bad novels
about Hollywood. but Ray Russell's The
Colony (Sherbourne) is not one of them.
A bristly black comedy of the movie biz,
it is, by turns, funny, erotic, tragic and
macabre. Although Russell denies that
the novel is autobiographical, he cannot
deny that it is about an es
editor from Chicago who defects to Hol-
lywood to pursue a writing carcer and
that its author ine editor
Гот Chicago—rtaysoy's former Ex.
ecutive itor, as а matter ol fact—
who defected to Hollywood for the same
purpose. It is a reasonable assump
that the book is based, at least in part,
on personal experience, and truth is
proverbially stranger than fiction. Con
structed like a mosaic, of many colorful
tesserae, the book tells not one могу
but several: that of Rudy Smith, for
example, who harbors а vendetta against
a Rolls-Royce; of Robin Craig, а super-
star bizarrely done in by a vengeful
woman; of Lovey Dovey, the beautiful,
bed-hopping young actress who rises
from total obscurity to stardom in the
course of the book
and resilience make her one of the novel's
able and engaging characters
ny other dram personae populate
the novel, and though some of them
come dangerously close to being stock
types, they are saved from this fate by
Russell's unflagging humor and 20-20 in
sights. Several chapters first appeared, in
somewhat dillerent form, in rLAvnov.
nd whose frankness
Somewhere between pulp and Proust,
in the transient land. of Bestsellerdom,
there's a 5100.000 gold mine. It belongs
10 Mario Риго. who has hit the mother
lode on his third novel, The Godfather
(Putnam), a swift, sure narrative about
rise, fall amd recovery of а Mafia
ily in New York. In one blow, the
book establishes Puzo
a caliber big shot,
MacInnes and
who are тоо good to be put down but
not good enough 10 be put up for the
National Book Award. Puzo's talent is
for pacing aud authenticity. Assembling,
a cast of characters as large as Cosa
Nostra informer Joe Valachi's (several, in
fact, хе s) he leads them
through labyrinthine intrigues. lucrative
rackets and bloody wars, without pausing
for breath. No matter that the characters
(including a popular male singer who
loses his voice, wins the Academy Award
sa pexonovante,
ng with Helen
writers
outright ste
И
Theicedman cometh &
tothe М
Kings Road Collection. 4
As you can see, we know what frosts
most guys. It's trying to look cool in clothes
thar look hot. Which is why we've come up
with cooler than cool sportstuf in colors to
match—iced lemon, iced watermelon, iced
coffee and iced blue.
Forinstance, white striped Ban-Lon?
mock turtles of Textralized? nylon that
won't lose theircool orshapeeven when
machine washed and tumble dried.
They're under $11. Then ther:
valking shorts, under $
our
ither solid
orpicka pattern. Traditionally styled
with plain front and belt loops and
Perma-Prest®, of course.
Cometh to The-Men's-
Store and charge them on Sears
Revolving Charge.
PLAYBOY
A front tire designed for steering.
A rear tire designed for traction.
KSQ OOOO
Because your front wheels steer
the car and your rear wheels push it.
So simple, irs hard to believe nobody
ever thought of it before, isn't it?
Well, that's the way it is with the truly great
ideas. They usually have that “why-didn't-l-
think-of-thaf ring to them. Simply because
they make so much sense.
And now we'd like to tell you just how
much sense our new tires, The Uniroyal
Masters? do make.
Let's start with the front tire.
It has nine tread rows (count them) as op-
posed to the five tread rows that most of the
tires on the road today have. Which means
you always have an enormous amount of
biting edges (they re the little slits in the tread
rows) in contact with the road.
This leads to excellent steering control.
And, if you'll look closely at the groove
between the last two tread rows on either
side of the tire, you'll see that it's straight.
(The rest of the grooves, you'll notice, are
kind of zigzag.) This makes cornering just
about as smooth as it can be.
Now let's go to the rear tire.
First of all, it's a wider tire than the front.
So to start out with, you have
the benefit of more rubber on
the road.
Also, the combination of the
regular tread pattern and the
deep-lug tread pattern gives
you superb traction on any
UNIROYAL
kind of surface: smooth, dirt, mud, even snow.
(We'd like to mention that although our
rear tires can function as snow tires, they're
not noisy like snow tires. That's because the
deep-lug tread is on the inside of the tire, so
that the noise factor is dissipated underneath
the car.)
Incidentally, see how the biting edges
on the tread of both tires (except for the
deep-lug section of the rear tire] are at
ninety-degree angles from side to side. Well,
this results in excellent road bite when you
hit the brakes. Even on wet roads.
Both front and rear tires also have steel-
reinforced tread— and a belt underneath
the tread—for hazard protection (as well as
exira mileage). And if, through some incred-
ible feat of strength, a nail does manage to
get through all that, theres a special liner
underneath which will strangle the nail and
cut off virtually all air leakage.
The Uniroyal Masters seem almost too
good to be true, don't they? In fact, they
sound like such a revclutionary tire concept,
you're a little hesistant to try them.
We understand. Not very
long ago, people felt the same
way about tires with air in them.
For the name and address of the
Uniroyal dealer nearest you, just
call 800-243-0355 free. (In
Conn., dial 853-3600 collect.)
The Uniroyal Masters
From the people who brought you The Rain Tire" & Tiger Pow"
37
AO0oHaAVId
ique experience.
Take off on a completely un
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and goes on to become а producer) never
quite make it off the printed page. Nev-
er mind that the godfather himself, Don
Vito Corleone—a combination of the
more warmly remembered qualities of
Vito Genovese and Joe Profaci, the olive
oil king of Brooklyn—comes across as
а man whose persuasive reasonableness
1 probity might be favorably compared
with the nine Justices of the U.S. Su
preme Court, Be grateful that Puzo is
dy knowledgeable about the workings
of the Ma d writes of his conspirators
con spirito.
One day Jast August, а Democratic
county chairman in Pennsylvania called
up the alorementioned best-selling author
James Michener and asked if he would
ike to be a Presidential elector from th
state. When Michener апуу
he ked on an eye-opening joum:
into an electoral wonderland, a politic
delic trip that has left him convinced tha
the American method of electing Presi
dents is a “time bomb lodged. near the
of the nation.” In Presidential Lottery
dom House), Michener combines his
personal experience as а member of the
archaic elecioral college with a histori
cal overview to produce a surprisingly
fascin 8 report on
the complex subject of electoral reform.
Members of the electoral college, selecied
by aonyism or chance and legally free to
cast their vores for whomever they wish,
regardless of how the people of their
маке vote, have the capabilities of turning
any close election into a horse-trading
shambles. The system of passing the deci
sion to the House of Representatives il
no candidate wins the majority of the
ges votes—the upshot that Georg
Wallace so desperately hoped for list
November—holds the potential for a
host of unpredictable possibilities. It w
quite possible last November, for exam
ple, by a series of adroit moves, for
Muskie or Rockefeller (or even. Miche
ner, for that matter) to have wound up
as Chief Executive. Michener surveys al-
tern, might defuse the
electoral time bomb—such as cha
the w take-all aspect of state-by-state
voting to а form of proportional weight
ing. or instituting a direct popular vote
for the Presidency. His personalized han.
ting and disqui
coll
vas
ive syste
ng
dling of this usually dry subject brings
the seriousness of the problem home
g elleet
Some years
» a young writer made
а surprise success with ovel called
Mos. Bridye—a scrubbed mowic of wry
and touching episodes about a Midwestern
lawyer's wife. Since then, Evan S. Connell,
Jr., has written other novels (The Patriot,
Diary of а Rapist), prize-winning stories
and curiosities such as Notes from a Bol-
tle Found on the Beach at Carmel, а sort
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maa same |
of Zen incrustation of thoughts and quo
tations. and / Am a Lover, an effulgently
romantic collectable item saved from
creamy saccharinity by the author's astrin
gent wit. Now, with a most impromising
subject. Connell has come up with his
most succesful novel, Me. Bridge (Knopl).
which tells the other side of the story in
his first. book, the wry and touching his
tory of Mrs, Bridge's husband. Again. he
uses the mosaic method.—rapidly accumu
lating vignettes that masterfully surround
the subject. the hero and the world, With
admirable contol he ans the comic cpi
sodes just short of the stylish punch line.
and therefore aces out the reader. [t's a
peculiar and idiosyneratic technique but
more important, an absolutely appropri
ше one. An unlikely sympathy for Mr
Bridge is the styles secret weapon. If
Connell insisted on his fondness. the read
er would hate Mr. Bridge: but what he
does not ask is therefore freely given. The
reminder that hu exists in odd
у one, and the reader's
discovery that he shares. this recognition
is one of the deep and disturbing satisfac-
tions of this book. Besides, there is no
better recent text about what it was like
to own stocks dislike Jews, fret about
bohemians, noncommunicate with chil-
dren, practice law in a small town, resent
the big ctv, distrust foreigners, repres
sexuality. buy property and fret about the
neighborhood. ignore history and own the
world in the ше Thirties and early For
ties. In other words, Connell's Mr. Bridge
is а brilliant dissection of the quintesse
tial small-town WASP—performed under
the light of high art, with irony, insight
and a bleak pity
places is a nevess
The annual mass migration of Ате
cans to the Continent is about to begin
И you decide to pick up a guidebook
before you embark—and we so recom:
mend—here are four of the best and
most popular to consider
Fielding's Travel Guide to Europe (Morrow)
is America’s most painstakingly prepa
consistently accurate and enthusiastically
written European. travel tome. A chap
with demanding taste, Temple Fieldi
is superb when the subject is great hotels
and restaurants, which he describes lov
ingly: when they're not up to his con
siderable м
ndards, he strikes while his
ire is hot. The book's only minor fault
w dearth of sighraecing: infor
mation, which Fielding apparently feels
the reader сап get elsewhere and which
happens to be correct
Now in its tenth year of publication,
Let's Go: The Student Guide to Europe (Нат
1 Student Agencies), researched, writ
ten and edited by Harvard University
Чиге». is by far the best Euro.
pean guidebook [or the under-30 genera
underg
tion. The emphasis is on budget. value
In addition to a solid base of student
PE
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CIRL WATCHERS
PRIZE DRINK RECIPES
made with all types of liquor
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SEND FOR YOURS TODAY!
Print your name and address. Order tems desired
by letter and send check or money order to:
Dept. 69P
Southern Comfort Corp.
P.O. Box 12430
St. Louis, Mo. 63132
Prices include shipping costs.
Offer void in Georgia, New Hampshire,
Tennessee, Texas, and Canada.
SOUTHERN COMFORT CORPORATION.
100 PROOF LIQUEUR, ST. LOUIS, MO. 63132
CIRL WATCHERS
\ SABPy.
oe
how to be a great
happy hour
mixer—
from an expert's
point of view
An inside look at what top bartenders do!
There’s no more enjoyable hobby than girl-watching
... and no better time for pursuing it than the Happy
Hour. The observant host knows the Happy Hour is at its
best when favorite drinks are expertly mixed. So read this
new barguide carefully. It will make mixing time far happier!
This guide shows you how to mix luscious tall coolers and smooth
cocktails . . . the way they make them at famous hotels and restaurants.
It has easy-to-follow recipes for well-known drinks made with all
of the popular basic liquors: Bourbon, Scotch, gin, vodka, rum,
Southern Comfort. There’s more to mixing than meets the eye. But
once you learn the basic principle of drink mixing, you'll even be
able to improve many drinks. Just remember this: (1) Most drinks are
based on a single liquor: (2) other ingredients are added to enhance
that base. (3) But, no matter what you add . . . the taste of the basic
liquor srill comes through! Because this is so, it’s easy for you to
improve a wide variety of drinks . . .
Just learn the experts' secret for improving drinks
Knowledgeable barmen simply "switch" the basic liquor called for
in the recipe . . . to one with a more satisfying taste. A perfect example
is their use of Southern Comfort instead of ordinary liquor as a
smoother, tastier base for Manhattans, Old-Fashioneds, Sours, etc.
The same switch improves the taste of tall drinks like the Collins
and Tonic, too. The difference, of course, is in the unique flavor of
Southern Comfort. It adds a deliciousness no other basic liquor can.
Mix опе of these drinks the usual way; then mix the same drink with
Southern Comfort. Compare them. The improvement is remarkable.
But to understand why this is true, make the taste test in this guide.
© SOUTHERN COMFORT CORPORATION 1969
Ш -—— .
Tips for better drinks
Don't quess: Measure! Thc
best drinks are made by exact
measurements of the finest
ingredients, Basic measures are
pony = I oz.; jigger = 1% oz.
dash — 4 to 6 drops.
Shake or stir? In general, stir
drinks made with clear liquors.
Shake those with hard-to-blend
ingredients like fruit juice. For a
“frothy collar,” add а tablespoon
egg white before shaking.
Ice is important! Always use
freshly made ice. Change for cach
round, and don't skimp. Nothing's
worse than a lukewarm cold drink.
For best results, buy packaged
ice. It's free of chemicals, air
bubbles, impurities. It's crystal
clear. slower melting. Makes
drinks taste and look better.
What is Southern Comfort?
Although it's used like an ordinary
whiskey, Southern Comfort tastes
much different than any other basic
liquor. It actually tastes good. right
out of the bottle! And there's a
reason. In the days of old New
Orleans, one talented gentleman was
disturbed by the taste of even the
finest whiskeys of his day. So he
combined rare and delicious ingredi-
ents, to create this superb. unusually
smooth, special kind of basic liquor.
Thus Southern Comfort was born!
Its formula is still a family secret . . .
its delicious taste still unmatched by
any other liquor, Try it on-the-rocks
~~» then you'll understand why it
improves most mixed drinks, too.
You furnish the liquor
and friends ; we furnish
everything else . . .
SEND FOR THIS KIT!
INCLUDES
HAPPY HOUR FLAG
Large (12°x18") Пар of gay blue
and red on white cloth. Fly it
outside the house or at the bar—
to greet Happy Hour guests.
(Pole and cord not included.)
24 INVITATIONS
Tells friends: "You are invited
the Happy Hour flag will be
fying at (you write in time and
place)" Flag decor. Personal
note size ; envelopes included,
80 NAPKINS
Quality cocktail napkins with
Happy Hour fag. They give
drinks а decorative note, add to
atmosphere, as guests mingle.
$450
Yours
for just
ORDER YOURS TODAY!
Print name and address.
Send check or money order to
Dept SHP Happy Hour Enterprises
P. O. Box IMR,
St. Louis, Mo. 63132
Price includes shipping costs.
Offer void in Canada and in any
state where prohibited by law
LEARN HOW
TO IMPROVE
MOST DRINKS
Make this simple "on-the-rocks" test
Your choice of a basic liquor influences
the taste of any drink vou mix. Prove it to
yourself with this test . . . and learn the
real secret of making better drinks. Fill
three short glasses with cracked ice. Pour
jigger of Scotch or Bourbon into one, a
ger of gin into another, and a jigger of
Southern Comfort into the third, Then. . .
First — sip the whiskey, then the gin. Now do the same with Southern
Comfort. Sip іг, and you've found a completely different basic liquor
one that actually tastes good with nothing added. No wonder so
many experts use it instead of the conventional whiskey called for in
many recipes . . . this “switch” improves most drinks tremendously.
Incidentally, on-the-rocks is among the most popular ways to drink
all liquors today. Southern Comfort is at its best this way (add twist
of lemon peel). It has a deliciousness no other liquor can match.
But the amazing thing about Southern Comfort is its mixing ability.
It improves not only drinks traditionally made with whiskey, but even
tall coolers usually using gin, vodka, etc. This guide shows you how
to mix many drinks both w: Select one. Compare both recipes.
See how Southern Comfort gives the same drink a far better taste.
First, try the best — and easiest - of all Collinses
Comfort Ct
Cool companion of champion girl-gazers
at Hotel Fontainebleau, Miami Beach
Try it See how а simple switch in basic liquors makes
this the best-tasling, easiest-to-mix Collins by far.
Jigger (1% oz.) Southern Comfort: juice % lime-7-UP.
Мих Southern. Comfort and lime juice in a tall glass.
Add ice cubes and fill with 7-UP. Its delicious!
* Southern Comfort®
See-worthy mate of skippers who land
at Anthony's Pier 4, Boston
Tall. smooth. and ternfic! Make it with Southern
Comfort. and you'll hoist the best tonic drink of all
1 pigger (1% 02) Southern Comfort
Juice, tind ‘á lime (optional) • Quinine water (tonic)
Squeeze lime over ice cubes in tall glass. add rind.
Pour in Southern Comfort: fill with tonic and sur.
"Southern Comfort®
Play it cool with Happy Hour drinks like these!
GIN 'N TONIC
Juice, nnd % lime • 1 jigger gin + Quinine water (tonic)
Squeeze lime over ice cubes in a tall glass and add
rind. Pour in gin; fill with tonic and stir
1 TOM COLLINS
1 tspn. sugar - % jigger fresh lemon juice
4 1 jigger (1% oz) gin + sparkling water
= Use tall glass; dissolve sugar in juice: add ice
cubes and gin. Fill with sparkling water. Sur.
John Collins: Use Bourbon or rye instead ol gin
RUM 'N COLA
Juice, rind % lime + 1 jigger light rum + cola
Squeeze lime over ice cubes in a tall glass
Add rind and rum. Fill with cola and stir.
Instead of rum, see what а comlor S. C. is to cola.
LEMON COOLER
As served at EI Mirador Hilton, Palm Springs
1 jigger (1% ог.) Southern Comfort
Schweppes Bitter Lemon
Pour Southern Comfort over ice cubes in
à tall glass. Fill with Bitter Lemon and sur.
PLANTER'S PUNCH
Juice of ' lemon - juice of % orange
4 dashes Curacao - 1 jigger (1% ог.) Jamaica rum
Shake: pour into tall glass filled with cracked
Ice; sur. Decorate with fruit; add straws.
WHISKEY SOUR ;
1 jigger (1% oz.) Bourbon or rye
% jigger fresh lemon juice + 1 tspn. sugar
Shake with cracked ice: strain into glass.
Add orange slice on rim of glass and a cherry. ў
The smoother Sour, as mixed at Hotel Mark Hopkins, San Francisco
Comfort Julep
Eyed with pleasure when they gather
at the Brown Hotel. Louisville
Here are the perfect measurements for the perfected
julep, as mixed in the city where juleps were born
4 sprigs mint + dash water „ 2 oz. Southern Comfort
Use a tall glass; crush mint in water. Pack with
cracked ice; pour in S.C. and sur until frosted.
Bourbon julep- Add 1 tspn. sugar to mint, Bourbon replaces S. C.
* Southern Comfort*
Perfect measurements for swinging favorites!
r BLOODY MARY
2 jiggers tomato juice + 1 jigger (1% oz.) vodka
¥ jigger fresh lemon juice
Dash of Worcestershire sauce
Salt. pepper to taste. Shake with cracked ice
until chilled, and strain into 6-02. glass.
1 MARGARITA
1 jigger (1% oz.) white Cuervo tequila
¥ oz Triple Sec- 1 oz fresh lime or lemon juice
Moisten cocktail glass rim with fruit rind: spin
1 1 nm in salt. Shake ingredients with cracked
ice. Stram into glass. Sip over salted rim.
SCREWDRIVER
1 jigger (1% oz) vodka - orange juice
Put ice cubes into a 6-oz. glass. Add vodka;
fill with orange juice and stir.
А new twist: Use Southern Comtor instead of vodka.
GIN RICKEY
Т jigger gin • juice. rind У lime - sparkling water
Squeeze lime over ice cubes in 8-02. glass.
Add rind. gin: fill with sparkling water; stir.
To really “rev up" а nckey, use Southern Color instead of gn.
MANHATTAN
Jigger Bourbon or rye • % oz. sweet vermouth
Dash of Angostura bitters (optional)
Stir with cracked ice and strain; add cherry.
Dry Manhattan, Use dry vermouth and a twist af lemon peel.
Rab Roy (Scorch Manhattan): 1% cz Scotch % oz sweer
vermouth, bitters; mix as above. Serve with a twist ol lemon peel.
Improved recipe used at The Mayflower's Town & Country Room, Washington, D.C.
Comfort*
Manhattan
Bikini-watchers' delight at Sheraton's
Royal Hawaiian Hotel in Honolulu
Natch this exotic drink become your great summer love !
It's the most refreshing cooler under the sur
Juice % lime» 172 ог. Southern Comforts pineapple juice
Pack tall glass with crushed ice. Add lime juice and
Southern Comfort. Fill with pineapple juice. stir
*Southern Comfort"
Easily mixed drinks for guys and their dolls...
DRY MARTINI
4 parts gin or vodka + 1 part dry vermouth
Sur with cracked ice; strain into chilled cocktail glass.
Serve with a green olive or twist of lemon peel.
For a Gibson. use 5 parts gin to 1 pant vermouth, serve with pearl onion.
SCARLETT O'HARA
This famous drink's as intriguing as its namesake
1 figger (1% oz.) Southern Comfort - juice % fresh lime
1 jigger Ocean Spray cranberry juice cocktail
Shake with cracked ice and strain into cocktail glass.
COMFORT’ OLD-FASHIONED
A favorite at the Hotels Ambassador. Chicago
Dash Angostura bitters - ¥ oz. sparkling water
М tspr. sugar (optional) • 1 jigger Southern Comfort
Sur bitters. sugar. water in glass; add ice cubes. S.C.
Top with twist of lernon peel. orange slice. and cherry.
Regular Old Fashioned. Str 1 tspn. sugar with water and bitters,
and replace Southern Comfon with Bourbon or rye.
DAIQUIRI
Juice % lime or % lemon < 1 tspn. sugar
1 jigger (1% oz.) light rum
Shake with cracked ice until the shaker
frosts. Strain into cocktail glass.
То gwe your Üaiqum а new accent, use Southern
Comfort instead of rum, only У tspn. sugar.
GIMLET
4 parts gin or vodka
1 part Rose's sweetened lime juice
Shake with cracked ice: strain into glass.
ALEXANDER
% oz. fresh cream
% oz. creme de cacao
1 pgger (1% oz.) Southern Comfort
Or gin or brandy
Shake with cracked ice and strain.
GRASSHOPPER
% ог. fresh cream
1 oz white creme de cacao
1 oz. green creme de menthe
Shake with cracked ice or mix in
electric blender. strain into glass.
That's all, men... now watch yourself
become the best mixer in your crowd!
Want to join the American Society of Girl Watchers?
To get complete Girl Watcher's Membership Kit—lapel emblem, wallet
card, and 96 -раде Girl Watcher s Guide —send your name and address
with 52.50 to: ASGW. 250 Fifth Avenue, New York, N. Y. 10001.
accommodations, Let's Go also offers ап
excellent list of inexpensive, friendly
hotels. The book's prime asset is its night-
life coverage, for ıd kids drift into
Е! looking as do most
young Americans—for informal evening
action. Regardless of how much bread you
have to spend. if you're young, Let's Go
is worth a long look.
Fodor's Guide to Europe (McKay), the
heart of Eugene Fodor's travel-publishing
empire, unfortunately has no soul: Em
ploying 140 "area specialists" as contrib
wors, Fodor edits their copy into leaden
prose even weightier than the 1045-page
book. But if Fodor is а yawn to read, he
does see fit to supply the reader with
more comprehensive sightseeing informa
tion than anyone else in the European-
lebook game today. And unlike his
competitors, Fodor covers eastern. Europe
in detail.
Aboard ond Abroad: Olson's Complete Travel
Guide to Evrope (Lippincott) is an amiably
written. useful guide to the Continents
pleasures. Harvey Olson is far from com-
ive in his touring information
^d unspecific as to which hotels and
restaurants in his lists are the best to
patronize. Yet, the. volume (now in its
13th revised edition) is the most literate
of popular guidebooks. and Olson's chap-
ters on suggested itineraries. travel hints
and wines make it worth the 57.95 price
tag.
cities
pean
For a number of years, former Univer-
sity of Chicago prexy Robert Maynard
Hutchins (now head of California's Cen-
ter for the Study of Democratic Institu
tions) has amused himself and befuddled
the more gullible members of his lecture
audiences by expounding on the imagi-
пагу Ше and work of one Alexander
Zuckerkandl, M.D. Ph.D. The lecture
is a wickedly straight-faced puton of all
the philosophical dissertations ever con
ceived to befog the mind of man. Lest
Hutchins’ scholarly joke be lost to pos-
terity, а taped version of it was lifted out
of the think tank and cut down to size
as the basis for a whimsical animated
film short by the team of John and
Faith Hubley. Under the sime tinle,
Zuckerkend (Grove). the text has now
been pressed between hard and soft
covers, along with the Hubleys' witty illus-
trations, and makes wonderful nonsense
из a kind of children's book for апу
postgrad grownup who has а tongue
in his check
According 1o Hutchins,
he first encountered the great. Zucker-
kind! behind goatee in Baden-
Baden, learned that he was a onetime
student of
Austrian
h
ing without guilt
Zuckerkandlism, which me:
little as posible.
must avoid questions of conscience and
such outdated concepts as the doctrine of
Freud and a native ol thc
age of Adi (populated by a
rdy breed known as Adlescenis). Liv
s ihe stated goal of
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It has a first name:
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origimal sin, or what Freud called the
superego: "Тһе superego turns out to be
nothing but Adam and Eve in costumes
from Die Fledermaus.” Sprinkled with
pearls of wit and provocitive inversions
—not to mention sly references to such
thinkers as son, Aristotle and Alfred
North Whitehead—the professor's spoof
has an air of easy intellectual authority
and should be required bedside reading
Tor all those ossified educators who habit-
ually put young minds to sleep.
The Love Machine (Simon & Schuster).
Jacqueline Susann’s latest gift to the
world of letters. is ап item of such
vapid vulgarity as to cast discredit imme-
tely and forever on anyone and every-
who had anything to do with ir.
iduding the printer, his apprentice
nd the boy who went for coffee. If only
Amanda 1 beautifully of leukemia in
ms of her husband while calling
ame of her real lover in her final
th, it would be enough. If Robin
те the supersuccessful ruthless tycoon
head of a TV empire without knowing
anything about the business, it would be
enough. If Maggie set the apartment on
fire when she caught Robin in the living
room with Diana, it would be enough. If
Judith were beaten up by two homo
Sexuals in the presence of her lover. it
would be enough. If Robin went to Ham-
burg, Germany. and had а sexual e
counter with a girl who used to be a boy,
it would be enough. If M; "s society
husband knocked her down Ше stairs
after she refused to go to P: h him
to buy a baby so they could inherit
money, it would be enough. If Ethel. . . .
But that's enough.
DINING-DRINKING
The women of the Greek island of
Mykonos. you may not kno imous
for their cultivation of domestic virtues
So determined are these gritty ladies to
preserve hearth and home that, legend
has it, they once sent letters to Napoleon
demanding that should he or his randy
troops chance through Mykonos in their
pursuit of empire, there were to be no
гарез терели, no rapes—either of them
or of their beautiful dark daughters. Dal
liance, perhaps, but no rape. When they
were not writing antirape letters to dic
tators or weaving bright tapestries, the
mykonaitis developed a native cuisine
that contains probably the most tastefully
elabor iations ever turned out on
the s Creek theme of limb
Mykonos, estucco taverna that you
might expect to find on а sunny quay on
that fabled isle instead of at 349 West
16: Street іп Manhattan, has a varied
menu that boasts lamb in nearly ten
ohiko—"country style" lamb
obably the most popular. It is
cubes of lamb mixed with cheese, eggs,
carrots, peas, celery and olives and
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Wear with everything casual.
Under the sign of the Rabbit:
=
incased in feather-light pastry. Arni Sauté
à la Mykonos are medallions of rack of
lamb sautéed with Greek port wine. The
lamb itself is very tender and obviously
has never had to suffer the indignity of
waiting on a steam table in the kitchen.
Mykonos is one of the few foreign restau
New York that preserves its
ctlnicism from top to bottom: Even the
bus boys are Greek, and the waiters in
white turtlenecks look like male extras
from Never on Sunday. The smashing,
movieset decor is by Vassilis Photo
poulos, who won an Oscar for his art di
rection of Zorba the Greek. The tables
and dhairs are artfully "rustic
the proper complement for glasses of the
resinous native wine. retsina, which, de-
pending on your taste, can smack of
either paregoric or nectar of the gods.
This is not to say that. Mykonos is too
homespun for the eleganti, Greek. ship-
owners are frequent diners at Mykonos
Niarchos has been known to dance with
ouzo-oiled abandon in the aisles to Myk
onos’ exciting bouzouki orchestra. Onas-
sis has made the Mykonos scene with
the missus, and Ari and. Jackie aren't in
the habit of dropping in on mere joints,
Those who would rather leave their lamb
than take it will find that the Mykonos
menu stands ready to please them, too.
Hellenized beef and far
delicious. The hot appetizers аге а
hearty meal in themselves; а combina.
tion platter of these includes country
sausage, tiny meat balls. mousaka (cgg-
plant) and light litle cheese pies. The
postprandial star is galactoboureko, a
magnificent milk, buter and farina cus-
tard in а strudebleal pastry roll (filo)
covered with honey and chopped pis
tachio nuts. Mykonos is at its most lively
and interesting after theater,
should, of course, make re:
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Saturday.
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nd seem
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MOVIES
Ten years ago. Philip Roth's novella
Goodbye, Columbus won a National Book
Award and established its authors lit
erary reputation. A film version should
have been made then, not now, for the
movie faithfully adapted (by Arnold
Schulman) from Roth's first best seller
somehow looks like what it is—one of
the ten best of another decade. While
the music, the dances, the advertisements
and the skirt lengths that flash across the
screen tell us the time is today, Colum-
bus seems dated in several crucial ways
larly in the hero's deep concern
over his girl's being fitted for a dia
phragm, an important point of the plot
but a point made obsolete by changing
sexual attitudes and the prevalence of
the pill, no matter how adroitly scenarist
Schulman tries to side-step it. So all right
Grant that young people today swing to
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ant,
ary Peere, in his
ng One Potato, Two
nd The Incident), makes a few
heavy-handed attempts to update Roth
with fashionable camera gimmickry.
Peerce also flagrantly sentimentalizes the
rel
to figure out which
job at a public
y in the Bronx, and a liule Negro
kid who appears to represent the au
thor's instinctive identification with los
ers. Notwithstanding those considerable
objections, Columbus sill works as a
movie about 80 percent of the time. It
has the wit, spirit and pungency of
Roth's original and preserves much of
his dialog, which is savagely funny ethnic
comedy lifted from the mouths of mod-
ern, upwardly mobile Jewisl-Amer
e the nomeanx riches who occupy
1 homes on expensive acreage in
thousands to have
their children's noses bobbed and who
otherwise aspire to all the trappings of
white-Protestant snobbism. Into the heart
of this social milieu comes а perfect Roth
hero, the quizzical Bronx bookwor
whose steaming loins and sarcism capti-
vate the daughter of a prosperous sin
manufacturer. They are а terrifically
bright and believable romantic couple,
as played by Richard Benjamin (of the
TV siteom He & She) so wry and
Rothlike that he seems to be secretly
using himself with the substance of a
enchantment destined one day to be
пе Portnoy’s Complaint; and movie
newconi mer model Ali MacGraw,
provocative as a Botticelli angel who h
picked up some four-letter words at Rad-
cliffe. The acting is superior throughout,
Nan Martin and Jack Klugman as
of eternally watchful Jewish p
ents, to Michael Meyers as the gi
schnooky brother, an Ohio State baske
ball star with a record collection. that
includes all the works of André Kostela
nerz and Mantovani. The film's put-
down of middle-class manners, dimaxed
by a Jewish wedding scene to end them.
Occasionally leans toward. outright
cruelty. But his unfailing humor and
compassion add up to a belated triumph
for Roth, who can hardly be blamed that
tlie movies took so long to discover him.
libra
эз.
ca
s
To be young, hip and Indian in mod-
em Bombay means swinging with the
rhythms of Western pop culture, fron
Beatlesong to Home on the Range. To
be a young Westerner in search of spirit-
wal satisfaction or sitar lessons means
finding oneself learning strange ways in
m ble places. From that poter
tial conflict of cultures, The Gre flings
out filaments of sill-spun sitire, as deli-
cate in texture as that of The House-
holder and Shakespeare Wallah, two
earlier films by the producer-director team
of Ismail Merchant and James Ivory in
collaboration with novelist Ruth Prawer
Jhabvala. Thi
ing in a style uniquely balanced between
the sensibilities of East and West, tipped
Westward this time by the presence of
Britain's plucky Rita Tushingham, а
Bombay, and Michael Yor
singing idol taking time out (haven't
they all?) to learn the sitar from a
master. Authentic backgrounds in Bom-
bay, Benares and Bikaner are ап inesti-
mable asset to The Guru, beca
Ivory—an American with a sensitive eye
for discovering the points at which Mod
and ancient civilizations intersect rely
lets the dusty beauty of travelog cities
becloud his view of the human comedy.
lvory's India has room for hysterical au-
tograph hunters port, the sari-
clad smart set grooving at а party, the
bizarre spectacle of a Miss Teen Queen
contest in downtown Benares. As а com-
plement to low-key performances by Mi-
chael and Rita, the film is enhanced by a
skilled native cast representing various
defenses of trad particularly fine is
the guru himself (Utpal Dutt, а ringer
for Ravi Shankar), torn. between imp.
tience with his celebrated disciple's undi
ciplined life and scarcely concealed envy
of the rewards that mare deca-
dence can bring, The guru's two wives
(played with lilting discord by Madhur
Jaffrey and delectable Aparna Sen) seem
amusingly attuned to the ambivalence of
their roles—in the context of
comedy that explores ambiv
way of life today.
». аз а pop
sc director
Fight fans will stand up and cheer.
and even nonenthusiasts will applaud
The Legendary Champions, 4 documentary
about boxing that compresses а concise
history of the American ting imo 77
unforgettable minutes of manpower, guts
and glory. Praise is richly deserved for
producers William Cayton and Jim Ja
cobs, the latter chielly responsible. for
assembling a weastny of rare stills, en
gravings and seldom-i-eyerscen movie
footage into one of the finest sport films
anyone has ever made. Th
or Harry Chapin, it is also а com
pelling slice of social history from the
1882, when mighty John L. Sullivan
n his decadelong reign as world
heavyweight champ. until 1928, when
Gene Tunney (looking amazingly like
New York's Mayor Lindsay) went into
retirement undefeated
between, Champions bring
score of legendary figures and revives a
couple of arguments that have troubled
boxing fans for decades—such as the
famous "long count" of the second
Dempsey- Tunney march, which. may
cost Dempsey his chance to regain the
title im 1927. Still "EN
a filmed sequence of the controversi
26-round ише between Jess Willard and
defeated black champion Jack Johnson,
to wri
ave
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who later claimed to have dumped the
fight as part of a deal to clear up his
debis and a bad jail rap. The pictorial
evidence suggests a clean win for “Great
White Hope" Willard, though Johnson's
entire story remains a shameful episode
in the history of racism in America
Cham pions also offers such rarities as the
first known fight movie—filmed in 1801
by Thomas Edison himself, who hired
Gentleman Jim Corbett for а display of
the manly art—and а much later, delight-
fully irrelevant snippet of silent-movic
slapstick starring Den lie Chap
lin and Douglas Fairbanks, Sr. On all
counts, а knockout.
Whips and chains аге omitted from 2,
but they've got a little of everything else
in this rank slice of cheese Danish, a
sequel to Z, а Woman and subtitled I, a
Woman, Part 11. The heroine, Siv Holm.
bears the name of the authoress on
whose novels both films are based, and is
played by sultry Gio Peire. Poor Siv is
married to a cultivated, sadistic antique
dealer (Lars Lunde) who worships oh
jets darl, uses nude photographs of his
wile to peddle her favors to his clients,
then, as an after-dinner diversion, likes to
watch while wife and client couple. That
sort of thing soon drives Siv to resume
her nursing carcer and her affair with a
married doctor, leaving hubby to his
own peculiar pleasures, which are apt to
fasten upon anything from Chinese vases
to nude Lesbi
n wrestlers. Why would a
man behave so shamefully? According to
2. it's because he's a fascist who collabo-
rated with the Nazis during the War and
has a locked trunk full of flags and
swastikas to prove it, Such a heavy-hand-
ed political note rather takes the steam
out of the explicit sex that is often
thought to be Scandinavia's contribution
to joie de vivre. But 2, when it isn't
merely Laughable, smacks less of freedom
than of gothic sexual
and made ıo measure for either snicker
ing subteens or old men who sit at
movies with coats on their laps.
100 Rifes is climaxed by a big, bare
blackonwhite bedroom scene between
costars Jim Brown and Raquel Welch
in which Hollywood finally allows that
there's more to integration than drink
ing out of the same cup. Otherwise
Rifles vakes Title time off for love, be
cause the outdoor action is sizzling, spec
tacular and nonstop, once Brown rides
into town as a black gringo whose mis-
sion to Mexico in the early 19005 is to
bring back a halfbreed bank robber
(Burt Reynolds). He finds that his pris
oner has robbed banks only to buy
guns for a minor revolution, and. Brown
himself reluctantly becomes its leader,
fighting beside the beleaguered Yaqui In
dians against the government's mounted
uilt—cold as ісе
Jederales, who are ruthlessly carrying
ош a policy of genocide. Echocs of cor
temporary events are ated rather
dy— particularly in the portrait of
U.S. railroad represi (Dan
O' Herlihy) who suffers mi omfort
at wil
nessing the massacre of helpless
п but feels terrible in the presence
damaged train. It's clear by now that
director Tom Gries knows how to make
movies; his Will Penny was last year's
finest Western. and a long shot beuer
than Rifles, which will undoubtedly
‘ove a bigger financial success. Here,
the characters writen by Gries (with
coxcenarist Clair Hullaker) have lite
depth and the hero's clothes hardly ever
look soiled, because he’s big Jim Brown
and born to be beautiful. But even in an
otherwise quite conventional shoot-em-
up. Gries gets actors to act and works in
some lively surprises en route to а wham
тар finish. One of his liveliest is Raquel,
as а vol revolutionary. full of fire
and feeling, looking very dirty, indeed.
and giving the first altogether admirable
performance of her career.
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The love-hate triangle of ta Prisonnière
is occupied by a lusty young pop artist
(Bemard Freson), his livein mistress
beth Wiener) and a perverse Pari
t exhibitor (Laurent Теле
who spends his spare time paying girls 10
act out his sadomasochistic fantasies in
front of a camera, “Ihe shame is part of
the pleasure,” says the amateur pornog-
vapher as he ruthlessly explores his con-
viction that most people are
voyeurs as well as hypocrites, secretly
getting their kicks from bizarre tales in
the daily press of lechery, violence and
bestiality. While clearly questioning where
the line should be drawn between nor
and abnormal beh La Prison-
is no case study. lt is, in fact.
what used to be called а wom:
ture, here given а diabolical new twist
by French writeralirecior Henri-Georges
Clouzot, creator of such psychological
clitl-hangers Wages of Fear and
Diabolique. Behind the darkly gliuering
surfaces of Clouzot's first film in eight
ars lies a clasic female dilemma, lor
his heroine—sevually straight and seem-
ingly well satisiicd—struggles with the
ambivalent desires shared by millions of
women, On the one hand, she wants a
fairly convention
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puppes lost іп a maze of their own
design. АП experience somehow looks
fragmented. kaleidoscopic—whether it's
a feverish nightmare. an electronic gal-
levy display or the bizarre sight of
photographer laying out the tools of his
Trade with surgical precision. Where
Clouzot falters, at last, is in coaxing his
audience to respond emotionally to his
mismatched lovers. However much the
ad Mlle. Wiener, who looks like
aged Je finally. suf-
quite a lor). they don't inspire deep
ne Moreau
ahy, becuse the tone from. the
very start has been almost too coldly
detached. the sense of alienmion too
total. The shocks of La Prisonniére are
Hectuitlized, vet there hasn't been a
more hypnotic portrait of wickedness on
film since Belle de Jour.
Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy
Humppe and Find True Happiness? is an all-
butindescribable movie musical. Call it
gogo and you wont be far
for Anthony Newley's semi
al one-man show deid
«Шу owes something to 814. “А really
erotic romantic movie.” is Newley's own
description of his work (the trath of
ement was voluptuously. illus-
ch issue of rrAvnov):
so happens to
üt of the artist looking at
iliry re
а totally theatrical bend of
. gall. girls and loads of spir
ited showmanship. As producer. director
and star, the protean Newley (with out-
side help from Herman icher on the
script and Herbert Kretzmer on the
score) has his head in the clouds and his
art forever tied to Mother England's
raffish music halls, His hero, Merk
«тай thia Life itself must be a musi
comedy-fantasy, is a [amous singing st
age 40, who gathers his children, his old
mum, his wives, countless mistresses and
artifacts on а splendid beach in
whore they are joined by à
but Heironymus Merkin
be a port
crew, writers, producers and а tr
savage movie critics. Savagely satirizing
the last (“We've seen all this before—
the pathetic search for identity, wrapped
pseudo pomography,” sueers one)
and indulging his own enormous vanity
Newley makes the picture's faults pracu
ly inseparable Irom its impudent
ms, "ht isn’t the best thing ever
written,” he cracks. “Birth of a Nation
was beter . . . but сап you. remember
опе good song?" Heironymus has several
good ones, notably ОЛ, What а Sonofa-
bitch I Am
inspired. notions als
and abo boasts some oddly
ıt casting —G
Jessel under a white umbrella, as a kind
of deathly Presence barking out old
comedy routines; and Milton Berle, as а
flesh-peddling devil named Good Time
Eddie Filth, both grandly at ease in
their roles. Joan Collins (Mrs. Newley)
as one of two wives, ydept Polyester
te of the Ycar Con-
56) as Heironymus
»nocence, Miss Humppe, com
plement the film's eye filling decor. Those
improper nouns should clue you, however
that there's litte subtlety afoot. Newley
even inclines to such excesses as а talkin
тобо! scene and a literal Lifeisa-game-ol
chess bit. Not everyone admired the
tragicosmic pretensions of Newley's stage
musicals. Roar of the Greasepaint and
Stop the World! Want to Get Off.
«| not everyone will warm 10 Merkin
But it is one of a kind—a razzlelazzle
musical, as well as an authentic personal
statement. by a formidably gifted fellow
Poontang, and Playm
nic Kresk
ideal of
RECORDINGS
The Jefferson Airplane really socks it
to an appreciative audience—at the Fill
mores, East and West—on Bless Its Pointed
Little Head (RCA: also available on sterco
tape), The 50-minute program consists
mainly of up-tempo, raucous rhythm
numbers that generate lots of vitality: ош
only complaints are that the Airplane’
group vocals g and
Grace Slick—who is in fine form—gets to
do her thing on only Somebody to L
nd the suspenseful Bear Мей.
Astrology and witchcraft may be bur
geoning, but the cults worshiping Bobby
Short and. Mabel. Merce
have bee он. The troops got togerh
er lor Mabel Mercer and Bobby Short ot
Town Hall (Atco: also available on sieico
tape), now a two-LP vinylizing of that
historic concert. Bobby is a master of the
songs everyone seems to have forgotten,
ior no good reason, apparently—/'m
Throwing a Ball Tonight, That Black
and White Baby of Mine, Bojan
Harlem—while Mabel is the high pries
єз of the fey and the sophisticatedly
sentimental, with a penchant for Cy
Coleman ditties. As the capper to the
concert, Miss Mercer апа Mr. Short i
up for The 59h Street Bridge Song
Here's to Us, which ranks
t two-for-one b;
scem always to
s one of the
gains of the day
Recorded in Nashville under Chet At
kins’ supervision, Guitar Sounds from Lenny
Breau (КСА) is nonetheless а jazz set all
the way—and а sup
‘Tastefully echoing vat jazz
tarists from Django 10 Wes. Breau swi
lightly on King of the Road and Cold,
Cold Heart, shows his mastery of har-
monics on My Funny Valentine and
oflers some classically inllucnced mus-
ings on Taranta, As the accompaniment
was wisely limited ıo
bass el drums,
ones and cleanly
mpeded by estra-
Brean's cascading. ove
picked arpeggios are u
neous sounds,
Themes Like Old Times (Vivit) overcomes
the atrocious pun in the tite by the
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sheer weight of i
most famous original radio themes. Nos-
talgianiks will bathe in a sea of
e—tiny bits and pieces from th
of Easy Aces, Life Сап Be Beautiful.
Stella Dallas, Chandu the Magician,
Gang Busters, First Nighter, Lum and
Abner, and on and on, Oh, frabjous joy!
The Thorn in Mrs. Rose's Side (Tetragram:
maton; also available on stereo tape)
is her highspirited son Bill. who can't
really sing but proves himself artful at
socking home his satiric fables ol the
hip life. such as Buzz the Fuzz and It's
Happening. The syrupy string arrange
ments aren't on Rose's wave length, and
their inclusion is incomprehensible, be-
cause he accompanies himself ably at
the рі
This year's anv
Berlioz, who died in
Philips
rently recording most of the composer's
major works. British conductor Colin
Davis—generally considered the world’s
leading Berliozian—has been tapped for
the assignment. For openers, he leads the
London Symphony Orchestra and as
sorted choristers and soloists in Roméo et
Juliette, а longish "dramatic symphony"
brim full of passionate yearnings and
mercurial fantasy. It easily supersedes all
previous recorded versions of this fragile,
rapturous music. Despite the stormy
course of his personal life, Berlioz was
essentially à cool composer, and. Davis
rightfully plays him with an appropriate
blend of intensity and understatement.
Soul '69 (Atlan also available on
stereo tape) finds Aretha Franklin. bow-
g slightly in the direction of jazz. with
the ince of an allstar cast led by
and David “Fathead” New
ma he blues on Ramblin’
and River's Invitation. changes the pace
with a rellective Crazy He Calls Ме, then
puts several pop tunes—such as. Elusive
Buller{ly—through some stunningly soul-
ful changes.
ack:
just possible that George Benson
will pick up the mantle dropped by the
Montgomery as the
tarist. Shape of Things to Come
able on stereo tape), an
nds Wes’ old recording com
that lush backup
doxicil counterpoint Ior Benson's
basic soul approach. The tour de force
of the sesion is Benson & Co. turning
Chattanooga Choo Choo into a rocker
that really moves, "That's talent
The Versatile Impressions (ABC: also avail
able on stereo tape) is, perhaps, the last
joint venture. by arranger Johnny Pate
and the mellifluous trio, who are now
operating their own record label. This Is
the Life, Oo You're a Livin’ Doll and
Sermonette have plenty of spring
swing: and Pate provides suitably lush
settings for Curtis Mayfield’s soaring
countertenor on Just Before Sunrise and
The Look of Love.
in their
James Cotton and Buddy Guy аге
both gifted blues men, but Cotten in Your
Ears (Verve
stereo tape) has a definite ed
Forecast; abo available on
on But
Чуз Left My Blues in San Frenciseo (Ches:
also available on stereo tape). Guy is
in good vocal form on Keep. H to Му
self. When My Left Eye Jumps and
Mother-in-Law Blues, but. his guitar
doesn't ger enough exposure and his ac
companists sound. uninspired. Cotton's
charts leave plenty of space for his ener-
monica, and his band is always
s on The Mule, an uptempo
irm ol rock
with it-
ditty that exemplifies the c
^n roll at its unpretentious best.
There are no Beatles songs on the
M. J. Q's first Apple release, Under the
Jasmin Tree. All Jour compositions are,
Happily, by John Lewis, and the predom.
inant fluence is Oriental; th
numerous passages in which Percy Heath
lays down a chamlike founda
Connie Kay adds Near Eastern percus
sive effects while Lewis and Milt Jackson
exchange. melodic. ideas with their cus
ле and precision. Three Little
lings, а wiptyeh of balladic themes
that are given brief but exhaustive de
lar more jazz than
re
ШЕШ
velopment, cont
jasmin
Electric acid-rock has lost its shock and
seems to be at a musical impasse, as
shown by ted Zeppelin (Atlantic; also
available on месо tape). the Cream’s
Goodbye and the Iron Butterily’s Boll
(both Atco; also available on
tape). Zeppelin, the much-heralded new
group from Britain, has a fine guitarist
in Jimmy Page, but the compositions are
musically vacuous and singer Robert
Plant tries too hard to sound black. The
C
displays the group's spirited interaction
but also highlights their ineusitivity to
dynamics and tone colors. The Butterlly
is the least ambitious group of the three,
but as In the Crowds and Beldu-beast
show, they are also Ше most musically
articulate.
stereo
am LP, which has little new material.
lenny Bruce/ The Berkeley Concert (Re-
prise; also available on stereo tape) fills
two LPs with the rev
the late comic turned social conscience
‘The liner notes proudly announce that
there has been no editing, which means
that the producers probably ¢
ing with censoring. The two. of course,
аге not synonymous and the album
could have profited from а judicious
pruning of a number of ofl-target
PJ. is Paul Jones. And smooth.
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PLAYBOY
54
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segments, As has been said before, Bruce,
in his last years, was shedding more and
more of his comedic skin in order to
hold up a melancholy mirror to the
foibles of an America mired in а morass
of moralistic hypocrisy. From this poign-
antly perceptive album alone, it should
be abundantly clear to any but the most
udiced that Lenny fervently believed
the basic legal structure of America;
his attacks were always directed at those
who had debased it.
THEATER
Sherman Edwards, a high school histo-
ry teacher turned songwriter, gets this
season's prize for nerviness. He has had
the effrontery to write 1776, a musical
comedy about the signing of the Declara
tion of Independence, in which the hero
is a stulfy prig named John Adams, the
heroine the United States of America and
the climactic scene—the closest this mod
est show comes to a production number
—is devoted to the line-by-line signing of
the document itself. Amazingly, Edwards,
helped enormously by Peter Stone's in
telligent book and a strong, in-character
cast, actually brings off that last moment
which is blatantly, outrageously patri-
otic but undeniably stirring. Even more
amazingly. Edwards and his collaborators
almost bring the whole show off. Impos
ble as it sounds, this is a likable little
musical about an enormous subject, as
admirable for what it doesn't do (no
brassy overture, Broadway chorus line
obvious anachronisms and few melodia
matics) as for what it does do. By plac
ing America’s founding in perspective
1776 makes a credible case for Adams?
being the real father and Benjamin
Franklin the foxy unde of their country
As played by William Danicls and How
ard da Silva, the “obnoxious and dis-
liked” Adams and the charming but
self-satisfied Franklin are not comic cut
outs from an 1 Am an American Day
pageant but very human, flawed individ-
uals. The characters testify to the truth of
one of the many aphorisms delivered by
Franklin: “Revolutions come into the
world like bastard children. Half com
promised. half improvised.” But for all
its merits, 1776 does have its silly side.
Sample sillies: Piddle, Twiddle and Re-
solve (not Walt Disney animals but an
Adams ditty describing the inaction of the
Continual Congress) and another num
ber in which Adams tries to convince
someone, anyone, finally even that Linky
Virginian named Thomas Jellerson, to
write the Dedaration for him, with each
candidate dancing out of Adams reach
and singing, "But, Mr. Adams,” a repar-
tee that rings of Gallagher and Shean
ı some of the Lapses into corn, how-
e ingratiating. Try to keep a
ght face when John Hancock, the
president of the Congress, writes his
name first on the Declaration and an old
E
TH
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~
PLAYBOY
56
OVER?»
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When nothing lights up, shoot
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codger from Rhode Island cackles like
Granny Frickert, “That's a pretty
signature, Johnny!” At the 46th Street,
226 West 46th Street.
Why do Hamlet? There are at least two
good reasons: to give a great actor a
crack at the part and to give a g
director a chance to discover some new
relevance in the old play. But Ellis
Rabb, the artistic head of the APA Rep-
епогу Company, as both Hamler
director, offers more of а non
tion dan a new
his head
neurasthenically
breaks lines into harsh rhythms (“Get
thee! To a nunnery!"): he collapses on
his knees doll: he races
through soliloquies. He is athletic; he is
whimsical; and in the Osric xene, he
outlops Osric. One novel touch: Polo
nius is in front of the stag
he is stabbed. so thar rhe
watch him dic. Since this is the first
Hamlet on Broadway since Rosencran.
and Guildenstern Ave Dead, those two
school chums are greeted by laughter of
recognition from the audience when they
first wander out on stage. They are now
fully enshrined, like & as David
Merrick characters
from
audience can
the weak
arkly
contrasted. blacks and whites,
Tihon's scenery and lighting
k [or more. Strongest of
the actors is Richard Easton as Claudius,
noble part that emphasizes the ver-
v of Easton, who also plays the lead.
in The Misanthrope, AP Vs most uniform-
lv enjoyable production of the season.
"This is not sparkling Molière. but it is
quite funny, a Misanthrope for those
who have mo beuer Misanthrope with
The APA is still
n ensemble company. just a group
of actors, some very good (Easton, In
Bedford. Donald Mollat and. usually.
lis Rabb). some less good. The success of
cach production depends on the choice
of play. The better the play, it appears,
the less effective the company, and vice
versa. How else can one explain the
disaster of Hamlet and the surprise suc
cess of CodeA-Doodle Dandy? Generally
considered one of Sean O'Cascy's distinct
ures, Dandy proves to have some
charming assets im the hands of the
APA. The ingrown backbiting and tight
es of a small
shly revealed
which to compare it
not
sexual repress
community arc h:
with
nts of humor. The use of a
ical giant cock as provocaleur is
idv metaphoric. The chick
is struttingly essayed by Barry Bostwick,
the APA's odd-bird specialist this year
exceedingly creepy.
Hamlet's father). Best
Lorcleem, Easton's judicious Messenger
and the animated scenery contrived by
James Tilton. As the cock stirs up the
town's passions, trees twist, а fence
writhes, а house quakes. The scenery,
literally, takes a bow at the final curtain
and earns йз most well-deserved ap
plause. At the Lyceum, 149 West 45th
Street.
Successful musicals often have peculiar
ancestry, being adapted from novels,
plays. movies,
shirts; but San F
has behind it one of
tales of all. A th
he most convoluted
ter workshop in Watts
improvised an enraged play on the theme
of a ghetto те (imagine
Beckett plus Brecht plus the corner-boy
humor of insult); then Joseph Tuoni. a
white man. put the text together. The
Watts and off Broadway New York pro-
èwed in the March
PLaynoy) provided ferocious theater, ap-
з equal measure to experimi
theater bulls and white-guilt bulls
The
new San Етапсімо producer hired a new
director, Oscar Brown, Jr, a gen
Sammy Davis Jr., who says he has grown
weary of playing Tonto in the wi
man's world. He narrowed his eyes and
decided the play needed songs, and he
wrote some kicky, clever and bitter music
with such titles as Mighty Whitey, Head
Nigger in Charge and We Came in
Chains. In some of the music there aic
also hints of show tunes and one fine old-
fashioned hymn. Result? A less ferocious,
move bittersweet and com experi-
ence that has attracted both the black and
the white communities of the Bay Area.
An analogy in the tradition is the evolu-
tion ol Bredus Three-Penny Novel,
stutled with murder, cime, extortion
pimpery and greed, into a Threepenny
Oper characterized by grace and even a
Kind of romance. Oscar Brown here per
forms the task that Kurt Weill performed
for Brecht, but the evening is still hardly
a loving, nostalgic tour of Ye Aulde Race
Hauel White guilt and black self
hatred might become а little icky on the
prosy naked stage, but Brow iming.
words and music add the leaven of wit
that gives coherence to а powerful expe-
rience and, therefore, staying power. The
actor calls himself Big Black,
imous as а conga drummer with Dizzy
lcspie. endows Big Time himself with
а sleepy, sad, generous soul. He has the
stage miracle known as presence—style,
size, helt and reserves of power
опе else could do the subtle things he
docs with his deft and discreet drums.
Now this musical version will eventually
go on the road and to Broadway, and
then to an original-cast album, a movie
nd—who knows?—maybe even onto
Watts sweat shirt. the Committee, 836
Montgomery.
"s
who
nd no
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But men аге men.
And they need what we can give them.
They need love,
they need understanding,
and they need English Leathers.
All my men wear English Leather
or they wear nothing at all?’
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Is
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR
Vii now, Гуе been in complete control
of every relationship Гуе had with wom-
cn; but, at 26, I find myself deeply
volved n girl of an entirely ФЕ
ferent background than my own and it
ng wocful problems. She comes
from a family that feels that, with matu-
ty, one must break away from close
ental ties, and she objects to my liv-
ing at home and main ng a close
relationship with my parents and sib-
lings. I don't sec it that way, so she cries
whenever we discuss it and urges me to
move out on my own. We are deeply in
love, but our engagement has been put
oll several times over this conflict. 1 was
away from home for two years—in the
Army—which proves 1 сап manage with-
out my parents, and I do not intend to
give them up merely to prove my love. I
feel the problem is of her creation and
is, therefore, hers and not mine. I des-
perately need your advice.—M. K., New-
ark, New Jersey.
We don’t think your fiancée expects
you lo give up your family as proof of
love, but she has every right to expect
you, at the age of 26, to cut the cord and
begin structuring your own life, In other
words, if keeping your family requires
both your physical presence and your
emotional dependence, then they are
keeping you. In mast successful mar-
riages, the man stops identifying as a
son before he becomes a husband.
The other day, some friends and I
were discussing the bottles in which al-
coholic beverages are sold. We wondered
why distillers commonty use fifths instead
of quarts, the more usual liquid measur-
ing unit.
B. T, Mer
Quarts predominated in the U.S. un-
til World War Two, when new taxes
were levied on distilled spirits. Then,
fifths (one fifth of a gallon, that is)—
which ате smaller—were used in order to
stretch. available stocks and to make the
price rise seem less painful. Nonetheless,
quarts are widely used today.
After you've decided on the barome-
ters location, call the Weather Bureau
for the precise atmospheric pressure and
then adjust your instrument accordingly.
No further correction is necessary unless
you change locales. Also, before reading,
lap the glass once or twice, to make sure
the needle isn’t stuck.
Wil fiance is а oneman antitipping
gue. When he takes me out to dinner.
percent to a good waiter or waitress.
day now, I expect to have coffee “acci-
dentally” spilled on my dress. How can I
make him stop with this nonsense?—
Miss B. J., Cleveland, Ohio.
Tell him what you told us.
key" was а word for a
pimple or similar skin invitation, but my
teenage children seem to have а
different—and secret—meaning for it
Can you make me hep?—B. W., New
By my youn.
We'll do our best, old fellow. A hick
€y is also a red blossom on the
caused by suction from ап
source (usually a mouth). This concen
trates blood in the intercellular spaces of
the area and enlarges the capillaries of
the skin.
skin
outside
Please settle an argument between а
1d and me. He says th:
was a giant machine with five
side it; but | say that the bi
was actually an ordinary gorilla suit,
with one n inside, and that trick
photography was used io make him ap-
pear gigantic. Who's rightz—H. P. L,
New York, New York.
Neither of you. For a few special
shots, с gigantic mechanical gorilla head
was used. which had three men inside it,
operating the eyes, nose and mouth; and
a huge imitation foot was created for
one or two scenes. But almost all the
time he was on camera, the hero of the
greatest love story of the 1930s was noth-
ing but a hand puppet, not much bigger
than a fist. Ingenious camerawork by
cinemagician Merian С. Cooper turned
this mobile molehill into the mountain-
ous monster on the screen.
fellow
nd I have all but signed the
aration for the trip to the
But before I take the final
there is one change I would like to m:
otherwise near-perfect person.
What can 1 do about her snoring?—
J. S. Portland. Oregon.
Assuming you don't want to begin
your married life in separate rooms,
there are various expedients that either
silence the offender or temporarily deaf-
en the victim. Since sleeping on the back
is generally the cause of snoring, an
AnteSnore Ball (attached to the pajama
in this
FLAMING DUCK
Select a large Long Island
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Salt and pepper, and place
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325 degree
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ZIP “the рой
during the
cooking.
Place under a medium flame for
the last 15 to 20 minutes to get
а good brown crust,
Put the cooked
us ona hot cà
platter; garnish ef
with orange
sections.
Marnier slightly,
pour over duck
just as you
bring it to
the table.
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59
PLAYBOY
60
top below the shoulder blade) restores
quiet by making the supine sleeper turn
ta one side. If she sleeps in the таш and
is nonclaustrophobic, an Anti-Snore Cuff
(linking one wrist to a cord tied to the
bed) serves the same purpose. For the
vilim, there's a Noise Neutralizer, a
device that produces a lulling sound.
Finally, a Nowe Muf] can be worn over
the ems. or earplugs may be inserted.
Or, you сап garrote her,
W know that the chesterfield coat was
named for the famous 19th Century сагі.
Did the blazer also get ity name from a
notable person?—R. L., P.
forn
No. But the captain of the British ship
H. M. S. Blazer gets the credit. This sar-
torial salt inadvertently brought about a
new fashion wave when he ordered his
crew to spruce up their appearance by
weming blue jackets with metal buttons.
Because 1 am shy. every date of mine
turns into а silent stare-out-of-the-window
match. Would you please give me some
g to the point where E
ihe tion or myself
much longer —B. L- St. Louis, Missouri.
Youve got to work with what you
have. so take your adversary, shyness, and
use it as a lool to defeat itself. You
might try something like, "Let's. talk
about the difficulties of being shy, then
we can gel to the things we'd be saying
to cach other if [ weren't so shy." The
important thing is that talking about it
helps and, once you do this, you'll find
the problem less and less difficult to deal
with. In addition. there are obvious ice-
breakers—such as plays and movies—that
give you a chance to spend a large part
of your date silently yel provide some-
thing to talk about toward the end of
the evening.
Lloyd's of London reputedly is unique
n the field of insu
d t from other compa
5. D, Su Paul, Minnesota.
Founded in the 17th Century, Lloyd's
is game to insure almost everything from
sailing boats to salient bosoms.
„it ds а world center for shipping
information, The corporation. does not
itself transact insurance business bul acts
аха governing body. The actual coverage
is provided by “underwriting members,"
individuals who accept а portion of the
risk for their personal account. They are
formed into syndicates composed of from
а few to several hundred members. Thus,
large sums ате available and the risk is
spread. Candidate underwriters must be
Sponsored by six members and are elect-
ed only after they have proved they can
mect their liabilities. They must also
deposit approximately $50,000 т cash or
den.
More-
D
seenvities with the company and are sub-
ject (a strict regulation, Although mem-
bership has heretofore been restricted to
British subjects, Lloyd's rules have re-
cently been relaxed to enable citizens of
other nations to participate.
ІМІ. other will soon be со
me. Гуе arranged to have her meet my
latest girlfriend by acquiring three tick.
ets to a local concert. My spo
the ır .
pact accommodations. in the rear, Who
the front seatz—M. H., Lincoln
m.
ing to vi
Your mother, of course. Good manners
dictate that any older person be offered
the front seat, so that he or she can avoid
the task of serunching into the cramped
back one. But why not take a cub, so
you'll all be more comfortable?
Bd tier 23 years of marriage and two sons
(Гап 17 and my brother is 19). I think
my Father is having ai th anoth-
er woman. I’m pretty sure my mother
doesn't know about it, IF my thoughts
arc right, what should 1 do?—M. $., San
adro. C
Nothing. Plan your own life so that
you profit from the mistakes you think
аге being made around you.
oruia.
MM ics checking into a hotel without
luggage. should T tip the bellboy who
shows me to my room? If so. how
much?—P. P., Baltimore, Maryland,
Yes—al least a half dollar.
ve been told that theres some signifi-
cance in the placement of horses’ hooves
in equestrian statues. Is this so]. R,
Dayton. Ohio.
lecording to the Infantry Journal
traditional that “when all four [hoov
1
are on the ground. which is rare in
statues commemorating a hero, the vider
died a normal death. One hoof in the
air signifies that he died of wounds
sustained in action. Bul if two are
mised, it means that the vider was killed
on the field of battle.”
Мег my husband nor I is a prude
regarding nudity and small children, but
we totally di
running
front of our two sons
1 feel that one should not
but ought to be natural about it in c
cumstances where it is normal to be
mude. Would you be kind enough to
give us your opinionz—Mss, L. G., Syra-
ound the house st
five and seven.
le the body
cuse. New Vork.
What makes nudity natural or unnatu-
тїї in the privacy of the home is the
attiinde of the people who practice it.
Thus, if you felt uncomfortable exposing
your body to your children and acted
self-consciously abont it. nudity would be
unnatural for you, even if the kids saw
you coming out of the shower, Yonr
husband, on the other hand, may be
unself-conscious enough lo have his na-
kedness seem nalural even at the dinner
table; and particularly since ihe poten-
tial audience consists of his own sons,
we'd suggest that you settle lhe argument
in his Javor.
V. it possible for me to attend the deliv-
baby? Im the father, not the
mother —W. D., New York. New York.
That makes it a bit more difficult; but
some piogressive hospitals do allow a
husband to be present during childbirth,
depending upon state or bourd-of-heulth
regulations in the area, Consult your
wife's obstetrician,
which were
g my fiancée,
lot since 1
WMI; sexua experience
merous prior to meet
on my mind
aged. 1 love her very mudi
and don't parti ant to tell her
t if it would upset her or
ge our relationship. Do you think
honesty demands that E bare all£—G. L.,
Cleveland. Ohio.
If you think your sexual past reveals
anything about your present character
that your fiancée ought to know, then
tell her. If you feel the past is inelevant
and you'd rather not muddy the waters
by stirring them up, you're not obliged
to say anything.
Sou а uda
ide or outside Маска. D.,
Seattle, Washington.
Outside, just like other
xk sweater be wom
APO
ииет».
it eoe chat the druidic religion of an-
cient Ireland. still exists and ew
ers in the United. States?—s. M.,
Cambridge, Massachusetts.
Yes. The United. Ancient. Order of
Druids exists as а secret society in our
country and claims that its teachings
embody the mystical. knowledge of Mer-
lin and the other great Celtic
Like all such brotherhoods, they claim
that their hidden wisdom is astral; but
outsiders tend to regard it as mostly
half-astral.
has
wizards.
IN reasonable questions—from fash-
ion, food and drink, hij and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette
will be personally answered if the
writer includes a stamped, selfaddressed
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi-
gan Avenue, Chicago, Ilinois 60611. The
most provocative, perlinent queries will
be presented on these pages each month.
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THE PLAYBOY FORUM
an interchange of ideas between reader and editor
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy
PENAL-CODE REFORM
Texas is in the process of revising its
penal code and materials ave being gath-
ered to be used in drafting the new
atutes. One of my areas of responsibil-
Would you please for-
installments of The
nd The Playboy
is obscei
1 approp:
Playboy Philosophy
Forum?
Cameron М. Сип
е Council
Done.
12 PLAYMATES FOR THE VICAR
A friend sent me your 1969 PI.
Calendar with this note on the envelope:
I dare you to put this on your wall.
And that’s where it is. which may sur-
prise—to put it mildly—certain of my
shioners, should they drop in on
their vicar.
I lost onc member of my congregation
not long after
whol
ate
I objected to her
ation of er Avnoy.
any of my regular pa-
those who
and at
tend church services are the older genera-
"LAYnoY's world seems remote from
"The young leave home,
nd church life and
ling the Bible.
ing to their lives, more power
ne B. Botelho
Clear Lake, Wisconsin
PRAISE FOR PLAYBOY
а psychologist and teacher. I must
expres my great appreciation ol
PLAYBOY. lt has been an invaluable aid
my classes in psychology and in mar-
d the f: lv at Sullolk Co:
Community College. where I try t0 use
its liberating sexual attitudes as an
dote to the often stilling conservatism ol
some of my middle-aged students I
think Hugh Hefner deserves honorary
degrees from every psychology depart
ment in the country.
Thanks, and keep up the terrific
work.
чу
Araoz.
yde Park. New York
PLAYBOY IN THE CLASSROOM
1 recently obtained copies of The
Playboy Panel: Religion and the New
Morality and Harvey Cox’ aride God
and the Hippies for usc in my American
social history class. 1 now need 50 more
copies of each: the enrollment is almost
double what we had anticipated. 1 sup-
pose the word got around that we have
been dealing frankly with many current
issues and utilizing much of The Playboy
Philosophy mater
I want to express my appre
only for these classroom aids but also for
the continuing excellence of pLavuoy. For
the first time, many of the girly here have
been able to explore current. problems
fully.
Edward D. Jervey
Professor of History
Radford Со!
DEVOUT CRITIC
Being a devout Christian, T seldom
agree with The Playboy Philosophy or
with the attitudes of most of your con-
wibutors. But 1 read rrAvBOY because it
expresses ideas directly oppo:
opinion, to the traditional Christian phi
losophy. It thus helps me in my attempts
10 think. objective!
The February Playmate, by the way,
is the most attractive you have presented
in some time. Let's sce more like her in
the future,
Michael W. McClintock
Waco, Te
GUARDIANS OF MORALITY
I felt like throwing пр after т T
tide the Brevard County, Flori-
da, edition of the Orlando Sentinel: ^
woman reporter described her part
n the police harassment of а man
whose only offense was a desire to take
female-nade photographs. This happened
near the nation’s space center, where one
would think relatively intelligent’ and
forward-looking views would prevail. Not
so. The journalist answered a classified ad
in another newspaper, which read, “Ama-
teur photographer wants amateur model.
Your picture Iree.” The police had inve
пей the ad and found out the man's
and his job. When the reporter
went to meet. him in a hotel room, the
cops ha id the Eau
Gallic chi € and the
security chief from the amateur photog
rapher’s company were in the room next
door.
The man took a few pictures of the
dothed woman and made some feeble
wuempts to persuade her to pose in the
nude, Then the guardians of morality
If you're about.
to buy a watch,
why not make
sure it's a
1 stop watch
2 time out stop watch
3 doctor's watch
4 yachting timer
5 tachometer
6 aviator's watch
те zone watch
8 skin diver's watch
9 regular watch
Why not make sure it's the
Chronomaster by Croton, $100.
Write for free fact book:
Dept. P-6, Croton Watch Co.,
Croton-On-Hudson, N. Y. 10520
CROTON
CHRONOMASTER
SINCE 1878
63
PLAYBOY
64
burst in like the Gestapo and collared
the photographer. What crime had he
committed? The article read, "The only
ge that could be placed
ist "Johnson" was that he rented a
l Post Office box to receive answers
ads under a fa
If he committed no serious crime, why
did the police bother him? Apparently.
they think a desire to photograph female
nudes is evidence that a man is capable
of anything, “ "What if he got with some
he end justifies the means in
Even if we can't press
Furthermore, criminal or not, the ama-
teur photographer's activities cost him
his $10,000-a-year job. That was why the
security chiel participated in the т.
to tell him he was fired.
АП this was presented as perfe:
boveboard. unexceptionable conduct by
the girl who helped in the persecu
ion of this man. In t iccount
ng, bi „ spying and deg
ing a man of his livelihood, the only
indic t any of the participants
momentary pang of conscience
occurred when the reporter admitted she
couldn't look the unfortunate man in
the face. What convincing proof that the
conventional notion of morality is totally
ick! The st kind of immoral beh
is that which is committed in the
of decency.
Unfortunately, I require a security clear-
ance to hold my job and I must ask that
you withhold my name to protect me from
reprisals.
(Name withheld by request)
Satellite Beach, Florida
THERAPY AND MORALITY
We wish to respond to some of the
comments made by Larry R. Littlejohn
1 Dr. Franklin E. Kameny in the March
Playboy Forum. Mr. Littlejohn is incor-
a accusing behavior therapists of
making value judgments with respect to
heterosexual and homosex
It is not our opinion, nor is it that of
any other behavior therapist we know,
that there is anything wrong with being
a homosexual, Mr. Littlejohn and Dr.
Kameny should be aware that a minority
of homosexuals do not want to remain
seems inappropriate to
desire to change as im
Dr. Kameny suggests. This
seless as characterizing homosexual
moral. If, indeed, it
ogative of the homosexual to
sexual, it is equally his right
rect
тас
remain hom
with respect to Mr. Little-
john’s question about the behavior thera-
pists responsibility when confronted
with a client told by a court that he
must change his sexual proclivitics or
Tace imprisonment, we can speak only
for ourselves, We would exercise our
FORUM NEWSFRONT
a survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philosophy”
RELIGION AND EMOTIONAL PLAGUE
Ecclesiogenic neurosis—a form of men-
tal disturbance caused by certain kinds
of religious upbringing—is so wide-
spread in our sociely that two of its
principal forms, frigidity and impotence,
can be called “emotional plagues,” ac-
cording to psychiatrist William S. Kro-
ger. Writing in The Journal of Sex
Research, Dr. Kroger reports that in one
study of 186 neurotic clergymen, 90 per-
ceni of them were found ta be suffering
from the ceclesiogenic neurosis, whereas
only 27 percent of the representatives of
other professions suffered similar emo-
tional illnesses. In another study, 39 per-
cent of the first 1000 patients reporting
to а suicide-prevention center had the
specific symptoms of the ecclesiogenic
form of mental instability. These symp-
toms usually include chronic depression,
guilt feelings, insomnia, loneliness and
—in women—such psychosomatic physi-
cal dysfunctions as menstrual abnormali-
lies, severe pelvic congestion, vaginismus
and frigidity, In many cases, the religion-
induced neurosis can also take the form of
fetishism or perversion; the patient gei
erally fecls utterly helpless and typically
seeks hypnosis, believing that no other
method can relieve his compulsions,
This disease, says Dr. Kroger, is most
prevalent where children “are subject to
the ‘fire-and-brimstone’ type of strict reli-
gious upbringing,” and the cure seems to
require a barrage of different therapeutic
techniques ranging from behavior. ther-
apy, tranquilizers, yoga and orthodox psy-
choanalysis to the hypnotic suggestion the
patient craves,
SEX-LAW REFORM
Efforts are under way in three states to
modernize criminal laws involving pri-
uate moral offenses. In Connecticut, a
sweeping revision of the criminal code
Leing presented to the general assembly
will scrap such charges as lascivious сат-
riage, fornication, seduction and adultery.
In New York, the Correctional Associa-
tion of New York, a private agency au-
thorized by the state to examine prisons,
has recommended that the state legisla-
ture abolish the abortion law and the
criminal statutes against prostitution and
homosexual conduct between consenting
adults. The association's: secretary de-
dared that government power should
concern itself not with “moral or reli-
gious standards” but with “matters of
public order, public safety and public
law” In California, Assemblyman Willie
Brown, Jr, is sponsoring a bill to
egalize certain homosexual acts between
consenting adults in private, oral copula-
tion between men and women and sexual
intercourse between unmarried adults.
“What I'm attempting to do,” said Brown,
“is knock out the blackmail and the public
condemnation, and free the cops [vom
being Peeping Toms in rest rooms, so
they can go ош! and do some honest
criminal investigation.”
PUTTING UP WITH THE JONESES
POUGHKEEPSIE, NEW YORK— jut can't
see why an unmarried girl would want
to have а male guest all night," Mrs.
Edna Jones of Poughkeepsie told the
press, explaining why she and her hus-
band Robert had filed suit against Vassar
College to prevent a new “open visiting
policy from going into effect. The Jones-
es, parents of a sophomore at the coed
college, sought to overrule a student vote
that had abolished the old 11 тм. cur-
few for male visitors and allowed them
to stay the whole night through; but
Vassar officials quickly worked out a com-
promise with the Joneses, before the case
came to court. Under the new new rule,
each corridor im each dorm will vote
individually whether it will keep the old
11 vw. curfew or accept the new all-
night visitation system. Left unanswer
What happens to a boy who gets into
the wrong corridor by mistake?
NEW YORK TV CENSORSHIP
new yorkK—Local television station
WCBS canceled a part of “The Mike
Douglas Show” in which William R.
Baird, crusader for birth control. ap-
peared as а guest. During the progran
Baird briefly displayed a plastic model
of a uterus and а coat hanger to illus-
trate the lengths to which present abortion
laws drive desperate women. The segment
was aired in many other cities across the
country, including Boston, where Baird
is currently fighting а ten-year sentence
for displaying a birth-control pill and
handing out contraceptive samples dur-
ing а lecture.
Baird challenged. WCBS ruling that
his exhibit was not in good taste for an
carly viewing hour by pointing out that
much more grisly material is shown regn
larly on the six o'clock news. He told
rravpov that a WCBS official replied,
“Any parent who is responsible would
not let his kid watch the six o'clock
news.”
ARIABLE OBSCENITY
st, Lotis—4À person's opinions about
obscenity are often determined Ьу his
occupational, educational and economic
background, says Marshall. В. Katzman,
an instructor іп psychiatry at St. Louis
University. As part of а test, Katzman
showed photographs of women in varying
poses and degrees of nudity to 3H
persons, 29 of them women. Policemen
and psychiatrists labeled the fewest num-
ber of pictures as obscene, while small
businessmen, laborers and probationary
policemen produced the highest number о]
obscene ratings, Pictures usually regarded
as obscene. tended to be black and white,
of poor quality, possesed little artistic
value, had less attractive models and
showed а greater degree of nudity. In
general, the study indicated that those in
the higher socioeconomic groups declared
fewer pictures obscene than did the less
economically and educationally privileged
persons in the lest group.
CITIZENSHIP FOR В! XUALS
BROOKLYN, NEW YORK—A Federal Court
judge granted U.S. citizenship to ап im-
migrant who described himself as “bie
sexual with homosexual tendencies.” The
judge declared that the man’s “private
deviate sexual practices with consenting
adults” did not prevent him from being
“of good moral character" under the Im-
migration and Nationality Act. "The
court may not function as a freewheeling
censor over public morality,” the judge
went on. "True, petitioner is an individ-
ual whose secret actions are unpleasantly
peculiar when measured. against what is
incompletely known of conduct generally,
but he would not be fairly dealt with were
there added to the burden of his invol-
untary sickness the characterization that
he lacks the good moral character the
statute demands.” The ruling defies
numerous precedents in which persons
have been denied citizenship оп moral
grounds because of their sexual. propensi-
ties, and the Immigration and Naturaliza-
tion Service announced it would appeal
the decision,
WHAT TREES DO THEY PLANT?
SAN rRANCISCO— The Trees for the City
committee organized a “Plant-a-Tree
Week” including a poster contest—then
recoiled in anguish when they discov-
ered that one of the winning posters,
which they had taken for a picture of
а palm tree, was actually a depiction
of a pothead's dream: a super, king-size
marijuana plant. Removing the poster
from us place of honor with the other
winners, officials tersely 1014 the San Fran-
co Chronide, "They're not the sort
of trees we recommend for street plant-
ing.” Disqualified winner Alex Allen, 17,
interviewed by the newspaper, comment-
ed, “I did it to find ош where people are
а... I wanted everybody to enjoy it.”
TEXAS JUSTICE VS. CANDY BARR
BROWNSWOOD, TENAS—Stripper Candy
Ватт has been arrested for possession of
marijuana, with bail set at $25,000. In
Dallas in 1959, Miss Barr was hit with а
15-year sentence for a first conviction of
pol possession, San Antonio News col-
“This
umnist Paul Thompson wrote:
enormous rap [Candy got out after ser-
ing three years at бос] is still dis-
cussed in hushed tones among students,
here and abroad. of anomalies and
hideous flukes in the administration of
Texas justice” Thompson compared
Miss Barr's huge bail in her latest. case
with the few thousands of dollars nor-
mally required of persons accused of
anything from burglary and robbery to
murder and rape and concluded, "Candy
Barr never has professed to be a lady.
But at the rate some law-enforcement
agencies are going, they'll make something
Digger out of hera martyr.”
MONSTER FACTORIES
PHILADELPIA—Judge Raymond Pace
Alexander says that it would be highly
desivable for wives to pay conjugal visits
to their husbands in jail “and would
make a comvict's future life worth living.
Otherwise, a prisoner won't be worth a
damn. We'll be sending monsters out
into the community.” Judge Alexander
occupies the bench in a community seri-
ously disturbed by the problem of sex in
prisons; according to the district attor-
ney's office, homosexual rapes are "epi-
demic? in the jails of the City of Brotherly
Love. The judge would also permit sex
for unwed inmates “if they have legiti-
mate long-term common-law relation-
ships.” He thinks that “in five years,
normal sexual relations in prisons, prop-
erly supervised, will be the practice in
many states.”
THE DYING DEATH PENALTY
The mounting assault against the
death penalty continues to gather mo-
mentum, In recent events:
* Conservative William F. Buckley, Jr.,
blew the minds of some of his followers
by coming out squarely jor abolition of
capital punishment.
* The National Urban League called
for abolition of the death penalty, on the
grounds that it has manifestly failed to
deter criminals and is discriminately af-
plied against. blacks and the poor.
* The NAACP Legal Defense and Ed-
ucational Fund, Inc—whith last year won
the Supreme Court decision abolishing the
prosecutors. traditional right to dismiss
jurors who have qualms about the death
penalty—is now preparing a new case for
the highest court, which challenges the
death penalty оп three technical constitu-
tional grounds. If successful, this will fur-
ther impede capital punishment and
necessilale new legislation in all states,
But the fund intends to continue the
fight even. then, secking “total abolition
of capital punishment їп the United
States,” according to a spokesman.
The effectiveness of the campaign
against the death penalty can already be
measured: 1968 was the first year in which
no person was executed in this country.
professional privilege of refusing the case
for therapy. We feel that other beha
therapists, in keeping with the standards
typical of professional conduct, would
concur.
David C. Rimm, Ph. D.
Richard J. Morris
Department of Psychology
Arizona State University
Tempe, Arizona
BIOLOGICAL PREDESTINATION
Your editorial reply to Dr. Kameny
states that “the available evidence indi-
ies" that homosexuals show “a com-
pulsion based on phobic reactions to
heterosexual stimuli." This is open to
question. While one is always unhappy
at having to contradict so sexually lib-
1 à public. your state-
“The sexually inverted m
himself rejecting his biological role"—
is so wrong that it must not go uncha
lenged. Neither males nor fem
bly programed to follow pa
roles. What can safely be
les do have
but to be-
lieve that nature has purposes of some sort
would be to fall into the trap of teleology
that every freshman philosophy student
learns to avoid like the plague. Biologists
report observed behavior: they do not im-
pute purposes to the phenomen:
tins for the sociologist,
terpret such behavior in its
nplications. Today we are giving
careful study to the ambiguous "vast
ues and so-
structures” that, despite your deni-
al of its existence, does, in fact, make of
the homophile population а true minor
y Tt thei
single attribute"—their emotional orien-
tion toward members of their own sex
—that homosexuals
community of sorts,
pressure
result.
Let us drop unscientific legacies from
the past that would insist men and wor
en must be shackled to some sort of bi
logical predestination, and let us accept
ad thc picture of multiple potenti
ics that modern research is revealing,
W. Dorr Legg, Director
One Institute
Los Angeles, California
mong
HOMOSEXUALITY AS A COMPULSION
I was elated by Dr. Kameny's letter
and depressed by your answer to it, һе
use you spoke the tragic wuth 1 have
to live with. I am a 20-year-old homosex-
al who was introduced to this way of
ile when I was seduced in the rest room
ion at the age of ten. 1 had
my first real affair two years ago with a
man old enough to be my father. We
truly loved cach other, but 1 had to
leave him in order to continue my edu-
ion. At times I do not feel I will be
65
Some people like it for what it is.
We think the Javelin SST manages to
doonevery important thing more success-
fully than any other sporty car,
It unites the two worlds of speed and
comfort without allowing one to com-
pletely dominate the other.
Yet it lists for less money than any
other American made sporty car.
We give you a bigger standard engine
and a bigger trunk than Mustang and
Camaro.
We scoop out a little more room for
legs in the front than our competitors do.
We include reclining bucket seats as
standard equipment and a nylon carpet
nice enough to have impressed Motor
Trend magazine (see March issue).
Of course, you can get options like the
390 engine, a 4-speed transmission with
Hurst shifter, disc brakes and mag wheels.
But even without a single option the
Javelin is very easy to like.
Just the way it is.
Recently, however, word has gotten
back to us that some people are making
our hot sporty Javelin even hotter.
That comes as no surprise. We've
been doing the same thing ourselves.
Some like it for what itcan be.
In last season's Trans-Am road races,
specially prepared and modified Javelins
often outran far more seasoned competi-
tion.
And in our first year, we were the
only factory team who never failed to
finish a race.
'This year, in addition to SCCA Trans-
Am, we'll be represented by two factory
sponsored teams on the NASCARGT circuit.
But you don't have to be a pro to be
competitive in a Javelin, because pros are
making custom parts specifically for it.
Here are just a few: Hurst shifters.
Doug'sheaders."Isky"cams.Edlebrock and
Offenhauser intake manifolds. Schiefer
clutches and flywheels.
Order them through your American
Motors dealer or your favorite speed shop
...and who knows?
Driving the Javelin could becomea
career.
American Motors’
Javelin
*T.M. G. С. Co., Inc.
The new Tiparillo LP.
Should you share it with a friend?
The new Tiparillo* LPs* are milder,
slimmer. And longer.
165 millimeters.long, to be precise.
iz] Almost too long for a single man.
Almost long enough for two.
able to live
ib stresses
ШЕП
living hell
1 have succeeded in e
tonic
thousand times over I could be a
sexual. Г envy every happy straight couple
1 see. Dam willing to undergo a
10 become straight.
ny longer with my emotion-
І sce for myself a Ше of
airs loneliness ап i
des)
PENALIZING HETEROSEXUALS
1 feel that your answer to the le
from Dr. Franklin E. Kameny gives an
excellent and complete exposition of the
point of view of the most liberal. and
progressive thinkers now working in this
field. However, there is onc point 1 would
like to-emphasize in regard то you
the homosexual
er good through his relations with
les than the heterosexual gains i
lations with females.” Intrinsically. this
is certainly true: but in our sexually fru
tating society, the homosexual must be,
of all groups, the least sexually frustrated
ge city
separated fiom his sex partner with the
heterosexual away from his wile or gi
friend. ‘The latter has much more trouble
making а casual pickup than the for
The homosexual knows fom the grape
vine the bars where he can make on-
if he uses the Turkish baths or
lin ast
Compare the homosex
tacts;
1 sex rel
s he can
the spor. These pi
perlecidy sale and provide partners of a
very dillerent type from the women the
heterosexual can. find commercially. Thi
is a great practical advantage of the gay
life and I think it faced
squarely, 1 would go i
the ar
society seriously реп
Myra А. Josephs, Ph. D.
New York, New York
x pensive,
should be
5 is one of
COMPULSIVE HETEROSEXUALS
As a woman and a Lesl
with your reply
ny's Іепег. You assume, without prool or
. that homose:
compulsion to engage in sexu
their own kind. Haven't you
that so-called normal people are in the
grip of phobic reactions to homosexual
fact, this is a serious neurotic symp
suffered by nearly all heterosex
evidences the sexual immaturity
security of most of them,
Are you confusing love with compul-
sive sexual atu i
heterosexual males love and
people but sexual stimuli
from females? Does love, i
involve phobic reactions ю one or the
other sex?
When you say the homosexual rejects
"his biological role," 1 presume you
action
your view,
mean reproduction. My conservative
guess is that 95 percent of sexual y
has nothing to do with reproduction and
half of what does is 100 much, If. Mrs.
Stimulus is on the pill. where is the
biological role for her or Mr. Stimulus?
As human beings, it is time we got away
from our fixation on imitati
We can do much bener
love сап transform mere lustful compul-
ake of sexual intimacy
experience of lasting beauty.
1 am surprised at your advocacy of
1 conformity. 1, for one, do not care
to inhabit the belly of the bellsl
curve where the great, dull ave
arn 10 delight in diversi-
male, black and whi
and n
sion
sex
ty: male and f
old and young, heterosexual and homo-
sexual.
Rita
E ali
We don't assume that all homosexuals
are under a compulsion lo engage in
sexual acts with their own kind; our
answer to Dr. Kameny referred only to
the exclusive homosexual. Obviously, a
person who can respond to both hetero-
sexual and homosexual stimuli does not
feel compelled to have relations solely
with his own sex, nor is he phobic to-
ward the opposite sex. H is true that
some—bul not “nearly all.’ as you claim
— heterosexuals have strong phobic reac-
tions toward homosexuals; however, such
Jeclings of revulsion avc in no way intrin-
sic to heterosexuality.
Sexual love, in our view, involves more
than a simple neurological response to
stimuli, and и does not necessitate phobic
reaclons lo either sex. Helerosexuals
often respond positively, occasionally
even erotically, to the attractiveness of
members of their awn sex.
Our remark about the “biological vole"
ol heterosexuality did nol refer to repro-
duction necessarily, but to the simpli
animal, if you will—fact that the male
and female bodies have been structurally
adapted to cach other by millions of years
of evolution and (for all the delights of
warietism) heterosexual. coitus still is onc
of the fundamental satisfactions of a full
human life. The exclus
who does himself the disservice of never
homosexual,
experiencing this kind of satisfaction. is
practicing self-deception, we think, if he
argues that this avoidance is something he
prefers rather than something he feels
rom pelled to do.
We feel that possession of a heterosexual
capacity is "average" in the same sense as
posesing two eyes, say, or four limbs or
a funchoning sel of genitals. There is
nothing dull about having. the ability
to participate in the full range of human
experience. However, let us be absolutely
clear once again that we raise these points
only to defend those homosexuals who
seek psychotherapy and were condemned
as “immoral” by Dr. Kameny for violat-
ing the group solidarity he feels homo-
sexuals should share. We are not pressing
therapy upon anybody, male or female
homosexual or heterosexual, if they
happy in their present circumstances. But
we suspect thal those who are secure in
their happiness would not be so quick
Jo. misunderstand our neutral words as
a threat lo Ihem or a put-down of their
personal. dignity.
are
PSYCHIATRIC INJUSTICE
I read with interest the leuer of Wil
liam McDonough (The Playboy Fornm
February) on psychiatric injustice and
as а student of psychology, ] feel Т
should point out a lew things you over
looked,
И you would consult any competent
psychologist, you would soon learn that
so are
delusions of. persecut
ciousness
1 might add that compulsive letter wı
may show itself as a neurotic symptom.
IL is, of co ficult to tell from so
little evidence, but if Mr. McDonough"
letter is any indica i
thought processes, he del
¢ of the symptoms of p:
. choi
suspi
nd long tales of mistreatment
ng
some of the symptoms of ps
Do not forget that Mr. McDonough
has not been commi
for a simple
L psychiatric obser
apparently the deci:
professional psychi
well
ugh to conduc a
within our soci
ve bec
п by a typical letter from an
moid.
Em afraid that rather than pass new
s to protect people like McDonough,
we'll just have cept the judgments
of profes 1 of patie
God shows us а way to really c
mentally ill.
Kenaid B. French
Summerville, South Carolina
While God will certainly get around
10 solving this problem eventually, He
has not been in any particular hurry
about it: such
reform is the responsibility of man him-
self.
The need for such laws should be
evident from a simple fact: If you are
accused of stealing from a store, the opm-
ion of one supposed expert from the
police department (on fingerprints, lel us
say) іх nol enough lo cominci you. You
have а right to counsel: to produce oppos
ing experts to testify on your behalf; and
to have your вий demonstrated beyond a
reasonable doubt before you can be sen-
1enced. Those accused of the "crine" of
mental illness have, in most states, none
of these тї из and сап be locked up for
lije on the testimony of two individuals
pa
ts, until
e the
and, in the meantime,
69
PLAYBOY
70
who are not challenged or contested by
opposing authorities in the same field.
This is manifestly unfair, especially since
psychology and psychiatry ате not yet
exact sciences like mathematics and
physics.
As for your perceptive diagnosis of the
paranoid symptoms of McDonough, he
frankly admitted in his February “Playboy
Forum" letter that this was the official
diagnosis of himself (“paranoid schizo-
phrenic with a sociopathic reaction”
Whether these symptoms—or those of any
inmate—are necessarily indicative of
mental illness, however, is disputed by
Dr. Thomas Szasz in his book “Law, Lib-
erty and Psychiatry":
Inasmuch as there ате no clear or
generally accepted criteria of mental
illness, looking for evidence of such
illness is like searching for evidence
of heresy [during the Inquisition):
once the investigator gets into the
proper frame of mind, anything may
seem to him to be a symplom of
mental illness.
A тап who is locked up against his
will generally feels persecuted, frequent.
ly is suspicious of those who locked him
up and often writes numerous letters to
those he thinks may help him get out,
Sometimes, such a man is paranoid.
Sometimes, he is just reacting normally
10 a horrible situation—you might de-
velop all of Mr. McDonough’s “para
noid” symploms if you were indefinitely
sentenced to а prison-hospital. (See the
account of two psychologists who volun-
tarily underwent this experience, in the
May “Forum Newsfront.") If you haven't
yet learned how difficult it is to distin-
guish between the normal resentment of
the involuntarily imprisoned and the com-
plicated delusions of the true paranoid,
you've been dozing in class,
PSYCHIATRIC POLITICS
The February Playboy Forum letter
from William L. McDonough brings to
mind a related situation that occurred in
y family. My older brother. now 29, be-
came ill with what was eventually diag-
nosed as pa nd, after
a series of d
local dinics over
voluntarily comm
1e Hay
Hospital conditions then, as now, were
deplorable: crowded wards, often sadistic
attendants, lack of adequate medi
Май, low budgets by the state govern-
ent. Му brother's ward, for example,
had a single psychi who had time
to see each patient about once a month.
Patients also were counseled by psych
atric social workers, each of whom had
about. 75 cases.
My brother was fortunate. A psychiat-
ric social worker took an interest in him
and devoted considerable time to working
with him. Eventually, the social worker
helped him to a point where my brother
felt he was ready to leave Мара and
attempt an adjustment to normal life.
The social worker, therefore, recom-
sed.
. my brother's
ime a political issue. The
ge of the ward, who
a
mended that he be rclea
At this point, howev
freedom bei
trist
had seen my
dozen times dw
recommended ар;
"The social worker, who had less authori-
ty but had worked with my brother
nearly every day for a year, argued for
release. The social worker suggested that
I join the conflict; I did, by writing a
leier suggesting that Т would attempt to
publicize the board's procedures if some
shortly after that, my
thing was not doni
brother was released.
This occurred over two years ago, and
my brother has made а successful—
though, at times, of couse, difficult—ad-
justment to society. He has suffered at
least one relapse; but through the help
of state aid and outpatient clinics, he
now ive house with
other ex-mental patients and plans even-
tually to finish his schooling and seek a
was the right thing, the decision could
have easily gone the other way two years
ago. As with thousinds of other mental
ents, he had virtually nothing to sty
about his future at a crucial point in his
. Legal safeguards are needed for all
of the mentally ill, including those in
Mr. McDonough's situation.
James К. Willwerth
Novato, California
MILITARY INJUSTICE
Men in this nation's Armed Forces
losc their rights as human beings and
tutional rights to fair treat-
ment when they enter the Service.
In October 1968, 27 men at the Presid-
io stockade staged a sit-down strike and
refused to obey an order to go to wor
They were protesting the fatal shooting
of a fellow inmate who had tried to
escape. When they refused to obey
ders, they were arrested, but they offered
по resistance to arresting оћсег
They were then charged with mutiny
instead of the usual charge of disobeying
an order. Lieutenant General Stanley R.
Larsen, Sixth Army comma
garded the pleas of other hi
ollicials and Army counsel and refused to
lower the charges, although he kindly
eded that the maximum penalty of
h would not be sought upon convi
tion. The first three men convicted have
received sentences of 14, 15 and 16 years
at hard labor, forfeiture of all pay and
dishonorable discharges.
These men showed great courage in
their display of conscience; they deserve
a much better fate.
Henry Jensen
Ferndale, California
When 27 young men at the Presidio
stockade were charged with n the
North American Broadcasting. Corpo
tion, a nonprofit educational radio asso-
ciation of some 800 stations, attempted
to cover their courts-n 1. We were
prevented from doing so. Everyone in the
media r became aware that the
U.S. Sixth Army—from the commanding
officer of the Presidio and the inspector
general down to the stockade guards—
was making an example of these 27 men.
The prisoners allege that they have been
intimidated by the guards; certainly,
these guards have been uncooperative in
helping us to gather the news. The
NABC decided to devote its attention
to the background of the case and to the
prison conditions themselves
What we uncovered at the Presidio
could not be conveyed in one or even
roadcasts. Private Richard
apparently killed without
ion. When we examined the of
ficial Army records, we found that Bunch
was of unsound mind and had no busi-
ness being put into the stockade. The
officers at the Presidio tried. as best the:
could, to cover up the case. Fortunately
for our Government, the public and the
press, the 27 men in the stockade put the
potlight on the situation.
Our taped interviews with prisoners
make it clear that the facts in the Pre-
sidio mutiny are being cone: .Hi
are excerpts from a statement by an
eyewitness to the kill
Bunch
PRISONER: I was with Bunch the day
he was murdered, and I saw exactly
what happened, and to my eyes it
was murder . . . | was standing
there when it actually happened,
and he was in the middle of the
street, and I was about ten feet
away, and I heard the footsteps and
heard the gun click as the rounds
were chambered and the sound of
the shot; and I saw exactly what
happened, and there was no call of
“Halt” given, and there was none of
the procedure that they are sup-
posed to follow, The guard cracked
up after he did it. He started having
the shakes and saying, "Oh, God,
what did I do?" and things like
tha
axnouxcer: It was declared justi-
fiable homicide immediarely after-
ward?
prisoner: Yes, as far as I know, it
was declared so two hours alter-
ward that they had said "Halt" and
they had done all those things that
they hadn't.
ANNOUNCER: What was this young
man, Rich: Bunch, like?
prisoner: Well, I only knew him the
one day. I had just met him that
day, but as far as f could tell, he was
very unlike many of the prisoners
that I have been with on details,
like myself. He didn't seem scared
and withdrawn, and he had some
d of purpose, He was bothering
the guard constantly, like, “If I run,
will you shoot me?” And just before
he d I heard him say, "И you
shoot, aim for the back of my head.
Besides the shooting of Private Bunch,
the 27 men who staged the sit-down were
protesting conditions in the stockade.
Here is what a prisoner had to say about
the
ANNOUNCER: What are the conditions
there like in terms of crowding, food,
ion, toilet facilities, these mat-
ters?
PRISONER: When
I was in the stock-
ade, it was inadequate completely.
The toilet situation was ridiculous
and the whole bathroom situation
sit was unsanitary—it really was
rd.
ANNOUNCER: How would you describe
this?
Prisoner: Well, there were four toi-
lets for almost a hundred prisoners.
The toilets didn't have toilet seats
and they leaked. When we flushed
them they leaked all over the floor.
"They were constantly stopped up—
at least one of them, usually two or
three—and quite а few times there
was stuff from the toilets all over the
floor.
ANNOUNCER: Woukl this include hu-
man excreme
PRISONER: Yes, and there was aly
a few inches of water on the floor.
And the food was completely inade-
quate. A few weeks before the muti-
ny, it had been geuing worse and
worse, until we were getting hardly
nything to eat, And what there was
tasted shitty.
Another prisoner, asked to describe
the stockade, said:
PRISONER: The food problem was
really bad, nobody was getting
enough to cat, and everybody was
always left hungry, and we were
really crowded. We didn't. really
have room to breathe. The air seemed
ys stuffy, and you ak
ways had to wait in line for a couple
of hours to take a shower... .
ANNOUNCER: Were you ever in one
of the disciplinary or administrative
segregation cells?
prisoner: Yes, I was. They are about
six feet Jong, just room enough for
you to lay down, and about nine
feet tall and four
wide. There is а чес!
on, and there's nothing else to sit
down on besides the floor or
rack.
ANNOUNCER: Are there any toilets in
these cells?
PRISONER: No, there's not. You |
to call the guard.
ve
Do the guards always
respond to the call?
prisoner: Not always. They sort of
get tired of oper
ng doors.
ANNOUNCER: What do you do when
the guards won't respoi
PRISONER: Just suffer, mostly
As for the mutiny itself, here's
one of the participants described
PRISONER: In the morning as ever
body was getting ready to get
formation, a group of us, actually 28
of us, ked over and sat down in a
4 оГ а bunch of people, supposed
to be a circle, but it
bunch of people. We started singing
stuff like We Shall Overcome, Free-
dom. This Land Is Your Land,
things like th a fellow
who had made up a list of griev-
ances, there were six altogether, The
whole idea was just to get these
grievances across to somebody. It
doesn’t take very long in the Army
before you realize that the system
works best when somebody's watch
; you, especially like a
We were kind of hoping that may
somebody would notice and may
put a bug into the Arn
things like they were supposed to һе
doing, anyway. Maybe clean up the
scene ttle And so this fellow
stood up, and when Captain
mont, the correction officer, the guy
who's in charge of the stockade,
came over, we stopped singing and
grievances and
things. The сар
which was really frustrating, and we
really didn't know what to do, so we
just started singing again, and pretty
soon Captain Lamont came back.
They brought a fire wack and we
while they were going
nd we were really kind
of scared, and they brought over all
these MPs, and we were still si
We didn't know what to do. So the
MPs came in, and they all had gas
masks оп. We were scared for a
while they were going to try to ga
us; we didn't know. Pretty soon, they
just came over and picked us up,
carried us inside and that was it.
ANNOUNC ter Captain
Lamont had read Article 94 of the
Military Code, which defines muti-
ny, to you?
PRISONER: Well, I guess he did. We
were sitting there, not looking any-
where, and he сате back and they
daim he read Article 94. I guess he
tried
did. I don't know, I didn't hear it.
ANNOUNCER: Did anybody have any
that what they were
doing there might possibly consti-
tute a capital offense?
PRISONER: Oh, no. I guess nonc of us
how
knew what we were geuing into
when we walked out there, One guy
got scared, Т guess, and just left, We
just knew something had to be
done. Nobody even thought of that
"That's just too insane. 1 mean, this
s America, and things like that are
supposed to happen in Russia or
some bad place like that. So when
we walked out there, we really
didn't know what to expec, We
didn't know what to do. We really
hadn't thought out this situation,
other than to figure t 5
down, and surely somcbody would
come over and listen to us, because
that's such ап u I thing for a
bundi of prisoners to do. Unfortu
nately, nobody listened to us, nobody
did anything too much, except try
and screw us, I guess.
We have got our teeth firmly into this
matter, and despite the harassment,
threats, intimidations and MP escorts
provided every time one of our vehicles
enters the Presidio, we are going to take
this case to its conclusion and report o
t until we get the kind of action needed
iti шоп. I
ted States, there is no
on why we should afford one or two
men the power of life and death over
our youngsters by virtue of having
separate system of judicial procedure for
the Army. We feel that if the Army
unable to conduc itself properly, then
those judicial rights should revert to the
civil courts supervised by the civili.
1 want it plainly understood th
not out to hurt the Army, which
great number of conscientious and dedi
cated men in its ranks. The people we
must weed out, so that the Army can
once more become a proud Service,
the people who abuse their authority
and neglect their du d their re-
sponsibilitics to thc enlisted men in their
charge. What is being fought is injustice,
not a branch of the Armed Forces, 1 feel,
s I'm sure others do, that we can give
the 27 men the exoneration they deserve
pting the stability of the
est Army in the world.
Michacl Erickson, Cl
North American
Broadcasting Corporat
San Francisco, California
As we go lo press, the sentence of the
first soldier convicted of mutiny at the
Presidio, Private Nesrey D. Sood, has
been reduced on review from 15 years at
hard labor to two years. Other
are pending.
without. di:
bi
rman
reviews
THE OLEO STRUT
Justice, small-town Texas style, is illus-
trated by th aces of the stall of
the Oleo Strut coffeehouse during the
past eight months. Some of their troubles
were reported by Thomas M. Cleaver
in the February Playboy Forum. The
experi
л
PLAYBOY
72
collechouse is one block south of the city
d police station and half a block
the main fire stat ite its
location on the main street of town, the
been brok
and civilians have been physically at-
tacked inside and outside the premises
nd sangs of local toughs known as
cowboys" have ripped plumbing from the
walls, broken furniture, glasses and dishes
aside the building and (some
1 sometimes anonymously) ih
death to persons connected with the colfee-
se. Members of the staff have been
followed home by local citizens waving
chets and other weapons, аге contin-
uously threatened with violence and have
been arrested and jailed for minor viola-
tions of the aw (for which others are
петеву warned), such as dr
g ап auto-
The local police department has been
unable to solve and prosecute one single
crime committed against the Oleo Strut's
than-aver.
department and сап perform an excel-
lent professional job im other meas of
ction. The 10-
» sons of the
vea, openly boast
that they have heen encouraged in their
is by certain police offi-
ve promised them immunity
from prosecution.
The manager of the coffeehouse was
sted and held on $50,000 bail for
posesion of marijuana after 002 of an
found (under curious circum-
the front se the
bonds for murder
tent to Kill were set at 51500 in
this county. The ci nees surround-
aedy of
nember of the city
sell a jud,
ıl ceremonies. А
semblance of sanity retur
grand jury decided not to indict the man-
ager on the possession charge.
arly 20 years of law 1
have not seen our double standard е
difference between what we say we be-
tually do—practiced
locality. I only hope
-lorm results, in the long run.
€ wa
jeve and what we a
so obviou
that some
from the abuse of law, utter hypocrisy
criminal conduct of local citi-
the past months.
Davis Br
Attorney
Killeen, Texas
and actu:
zens dur
goes on. yet few people a
ce to the red man. Of course,
td man is scattered all over the
country and numbers only about 500,000
to 1,000,000—the much-documented. poli-
ion took cure of that.
But who can tell you more about the
ethical system of the white man than
the Indian? Не the enti ne-
let of justice a pplied by
soldiers, pol
су of exterm
n Affairs. Lucky for the
grants who came to this country that
they didn't have а Bureau of Immigrant
Affairs to help them *
we might still have 1
Jewish reservati
Here in Ok’ though the ma-
jority of whites claim Indian blood and
profess respect for the Indian, the whites
ctually own everything: and the Indian
suffers from lack of education, is racked
by disease and has seen his culture vir-
tually wiped owi—he is а strang
land.
nd
MARIJUANA MARTYR
Having been convicted of selling five
dollars’ worth of marij sceds and
stems to informer, 1 am currently
serving а sentence in the
Sune P
Jackson
My case is ui
ty, the mandatory legal minimum sen-
tence in Michigan, is generally regarded.
as too harsh even by judges. The custom-
ary practice is to allow the accused to
Пу to а lesser ch Further-
bail was set at $45,000—an
le sum foi aise—so I sat
for four before being
tried. There were ju
rand Ti му in the
s, but 1 an ошу one
who h sent to the peniten
Why this special treatment for
The authorities will prol
i Tam а "1
Actually, 1 have опе pr
(for unarmed robbery when 1 was very
young) and пем (which did not
lead to a trial) for being house
where pot was being smoked. Is t
habitual criminality? 1 believe that my
al a I wrote for a De-
troit underground newspaper, the Warren
Forest’ Sun. The col was called
"Dope-O-&ope," amd in it I presented
ci а to coun-
ulated by the nar-
сос b ngered the local
olhicials, and 1 g punished as
symbol of the Detroit hippie community
and of others who urge more realistic
ДЕ tion
Incidentally, the Michigan. House of
an
was а colui
міс facts about mariju:
mythology cii
an
Representatives. rece ceived а Te
port from a subcommittee formed to
study the use of drugs among youth in
the g the report was a
letter from subcommittee chairman. Rep-
resentative Dale Warner, which stated,
“The key implication from this study for
te. Accompan
wmakers is that а total re-evaluation
and velom of our drug-control laws is
«аса
Larry L. Belch
State Prison of Southern Michigan
Jackson, Michig:
MARIJUANAPHOBIA
The Akron Beacon Journal reports
the case of a gogo girl who was sen.
tenced to a term of two to fifte
for the possession of m.
judge imposed this stiff
though two courtappo
and the assistant county prosecut
self had urged clemency.
The article goes on to state that:
[Mr] баһа
ion
ded guilty to two
counts of possessing marijuana. He
said that he was satisfied by the
up dr
and w:
res.
[She] even volunteered to work
h the prosecutor
talks to students about the dangers
of drugs. It's extremely hard to find
ex-addicis in this town who are will-
ing to talk about this problem.
"But everybody was willing to co-
operate on this except the judge.
с declared. . . .
What also is puzzi
s lor the past eight months
is showing rehal с prog-
wi
ny to court
the court's past record
ting probation. Court records
show that no less than on 51 occa-
sions did [Judge] Reed д
Dation in 1968. The c
shooting with intent
shooting to kill, stabbi
possession of narcotics
other felonies.
эӊ to wou
d a host of
Is ch
e such a th n the
icc
ag as ju
United States today when people who
shoot to kill
be released on proba-
I gets up to 15 years for
merely possessing (not selling) marijuana?
Robert A. Blunk
'etsboro, Ohio
A careful reading of the news story
indicates that even the enlightened pros
ecutoy—and, apparently. the indignant
reporter. who wrote up this travesty of
justice—belicued that marijuana is ad.
dicting and that the girl is an “ex-ad-
dict." With such misinformation in the
minds of those who were in favor oj
clemency, we can only wonder what
weird beliefs about marijuana may have
inspired the judge.
THE HAPPY WARRIORS
1 ol a communications outfit,
of the various support units
ajority of our troops
Vietnam. Ours is quite an elite group,
by Marine Corps standards, being select-
ed for training from the top ten percent
ll M ruis based om gen-
ptitude tests administered. during
basic training. АП аге planning to work
for at least а B. A. Many of us come
from upper-middle-class families and are
known as respectable citizens in our
home towns. By all rights, we should be
classed as all-American boys—but our
preference for marijuana brands us as
x under constant threat of
prison sentence.
Every month, we sec the local mom.
masan and pay her 5150 for ten pounds
of pot. Day in and day ош, we sit
around stoned, but we still maintain
righer efficiency rate than most of. the
socially acceptable booze drinkers around
here, We smoke upon awakening. on
watch, before bed and during off hours.
To add a touch of civilization, we've
turned our hut into a home that now
serves as a meeting place for all the
the атса. Here, we listen to
а а lot and discuss politics
We've even gone Communist, sharing all
expenses, dothes and miscellancous ge:
For this type of living to work, every
man must do his share; but for us, it has
worked, without straining relationships
and creating h
We prefer to alcohol. because
pot induces а subtle relaxed state from
which one can effectively come down on
short notice то play soldier. if necessary
—a feat not posible if you're drunk. Al-
though we don't claim that pot smoking
gives one an infallible insight, were
convinced that it can open your mind
10 new points of view, heighten your
awareness and. appreciation of aesthetics
and bring to prominence some of the
more peaceful aspects of man's nature
(Name withheld by request)
FPO San Francisco, Californi:
A REAL MORAL ISSUE
Late last year, а 2l-yearold student
at Oakland. University gave a lecture on
poer William Butler Yeats’ concept of
freedom: he stripped naked to dr
Yeats’ meaning. As a result of this event
(and of the current unrest on à number
of starecollege campuses), the Michigan
senate, led by state senator Robert J.
Huber, decided to undertake а HUAC-
like probe into education in Michigan
An editorial then appeared in the Za
peer County. Press, addressed to the in
vestigation in general and to Senator
Huber in particular. The conclusion of
that editorial is quoted below
said.
community is tolerati
mding up in open
= it and not
м ndignation
Fhere are so many priests in the
area who are quick to stand up with
open-housing placards, but they're
silent on a real moral issue like
this."
Fond of things Italiano?
Try these new recipes
from Galliano.
ET IST
س س ت ت س ت ت ا ت ت ا i ت ت ا ا ن ت ت ==
New and ultra-sophisticated Galliano recipes
to add to your collection. Each one a
prize-winner. But you’d expect that from апу
mixed drink made with Galliano. The fine
Italian liqueur that has conquered America.
Let a Galliano cocktail win you over.
Perhaps tonight?
BOSSA NOVA
cI
| |
SPECIAL
JUMP UP
(Prize Winning
AND KISS ME
Recipe—Notrou Beech Hotel
Competition. Bakomes)
{speciolty of Buccaneer
Hotel, St. Creix, V-I)
1 oz. Golliono
les. Golliono
Voz. Light Rum
lor. Pineapple Juice
Ya ez. Apricot
Flavored Brondv
lox. Barbodes Rum
Ya oz. Apricot
2 ог. Pineapple Juice
Ya oz. White af Eaa
Va or. Lemon Juice
Shoke well, pour into
© fall gloss with ice cubes
Flovered Brordy
Ya oz. Lemon Juice
Legg white or
Vz or. Frethy
Add crushed ice ond
Sad decorate with Irast.
put in blender lor 30
fo 60 seconds, Serve in 10
1o 12 oz. brandy элй.
ROMAN COFFEE
{Aibine Covette, =
New Oriento! Hotel,
Melbourne, Australio)
In eoch torge cup.
pour 1 oz. meosure
ol Goalline.
add ane tecspoon.
ol suger. odd
hol strong block
calles іо opproximotely
Уз inch trom top ol сыр,
swiazle, then odd cream
GALLIANO
SCREWDRIVER
(Created by
C. Charles Fiore
Boston. Mossochosetis]
1 or. Colliono
3 ог. Orange Juice.
Ya tsp. Lemon Juice.
Pour over ice ord stir,
YELLOW BIRD
Vs iiager Gallieno
Vilager White Rum
Vs legas Triple Sec
Juice ol 1 lime
Shoke with crocked ice end pour
unstroired into stemmed gloss
with lime slice es garnish.
80 PROOF LIQUEUR, IMPORTED BY McKESSON LIQUOR CO., NEW YORK, N.Y. © McKLIQCO, 1968
ITALIAN STINGER
TA ог. Galliano
Loz. White
Creme de Merthe
Shoke well with
crocked ice. Sirain
іча cocktail gloss,
GALLIANO MIST
Fal ofd-foshiored gloss
with crocked ice. Four
Т oz. Galliano over ice
ord squeeze ond diop
Ya section fresh time
into gloss. Stir end зеле.
T LE LE TER ECCE EA کے کک E E I کے کک کے کک کت
73
PLAYBOY
74
Yeah, take that you stupid priests.
You're wasting time demanding such
lly things as an end to discrimina-
tion in housing. Who cares if a
black man’s money won't buy the
same house a white man's money
will buy? Forget it and join with
Senator Huber in debating this real
moral issue, . <
Bur seriously, folks, Senator Hu-
ber obviously wouldn't recognize a
real moral isue if he woke up in
bed with it.
The Rev. Earle R. Ramsdell
The Rev. Thomas E. Sagendorf
The Rev. David Yord
Interfaith Action Council
ter Flint
n
COLORADO SPRINGS FACES LIFE
Reality c to Colorado
Springs
s annual
symposium. Last у was the
Presidency; this y the students chose
to study violence. Various persons cime
to expound on the subject: Michael
Klonsky, national secretary of SDS; Ivan-
hoe Donaldson, cofounder of SNCC
John Sack, war correspondent for Es-
quire; amd comedia
Other events included a Black Pa
film titled Huey and a presenta
Euripides’ The Bacchae called Dionysus
in '69.
Klonsky began the week by expla
t he thought was wrong with
society; he made some very valid
points. Colorado ings’ contribu
to American journalism. the Colorado
Springs Gazette Telegraph, covered the
event and criticized Klonsky for employ-
if the most. impor-
tant thing about his speedi was the
fact that he used words such as “bastard”
Throughout the week, the
w
wh
с
reports stuck to the trivialities,
d and
whatever the speakers s
the sw
making
of cach account. The Ga
te lifted sen-
tences out of context in Dick Gregory's
speech, leaving out his thoughts, concen-
cating on his "bad words"
cases, entirely misquotin
The climax of this local idiocy fol-
lowed a presentition of Dionysus in '69
in which cight cast members were nude
during two scenes. The play was a mov-
ing, perplexing portrayal of the human
condition, the violence inherent in
people, the questions of justice and venge-
nd the type of mind that has built
sick, racist society. The newspaper,
of course, fixed its attention on the nudi.
ance
our
ty. The Gazette managed to find a girl
who said, as the most immoral,
completely insane thing I've ever scen in
my life... . I bawled. 1 was physically
sick.” Despite the implication that this
was a typicil reaction, when the play
ended, the sull filed with
les were
people who had по scats. One minister
exhorted his congregation to punish the
college by withdrawing their accounts
from a bank owned by a member of the
college's board of trustees. He called
Colorado Springs a modern Sodom and
Gomorrah. Our enlightened mayor is
sued a statement that read, in part, “I
id will not condone, under any
у y of any kind. . . .
There аге two sides to all questions; but
when one side becomes distorted and dis
figured to the point that only with ob-
nd filth can. it be described, I
ht to be heard.
Colorado Springs 1969, popu-
lated by men and women who are er
slaved by the unrealistic morality that
has destroyed so many lives in the past,
perverted our nation and caused untold
frustration, impotence and guilt. The
whole episode served to remind me how
very badly rLavuoy is needed.
Mike Delong
Colorado Sp
ngs, Colorado
REASON FOR PORNOGRAPHY
Would-be censors do not understand
that much of the demand for pornogra-
phy springs from its being forbidden.
gives it а scarcity value that it
wouldn't possess if it were freely avail-
Much pornography is low in a
ality, and if the [alse impor:
has acquired by being suppressed were
removed. the poor quality of this ma-
terial would immediately become appar-
ent. This has been the experience of the
Danes.
In any case, what right does anyone
€ to stop an adult from choosing his
own entertainment. so long as this ente
iment docs not infringe on the rights
of others? If the individual had an un-
restricted right to make [ree decisions in
this area, I'm sure his conscience would
answer for his own behavior.
Joseph Kulik, Jr.
Chicopee, Massachusetts
SHAME AT NOTRE DAME
A violation of my human rights oc-
curred during the ill-fated Pornography
and Censorship Conference at tlic Uni-
versity of Notre Dame, where 1 am a
student. The conference was planned as
an demic discussion by a legitimate
student group. The administration pres-
sured the student. leaders of the confer-
ence i nceling the screening of a
film dat had been labeled hard-core
pornography by the New York State Su-
preme . When it developed. that
the film would be shown on campus һу
group that would not
admini
for Decent Literature dem
county prosecutor swear out а warrant to
confiscate the movie. The film was seized
by a dozen officers using physical
lence and chemical Mace.
I am disgusted with administrative,
udent and civil authorities for their
lack of regard for the right of students to
view this film, a right supported by any
number of established schools of thought
from the Bill of Rights to the existential
t philosophers. The arbit
tic decision to confiscate the film was
exactly the sort of travesty on justice our
conference was set up to investigate. Aft
er a private screening, the county prose-
cutor solemnly asserted that the film was
definitely pornographic.” Amazing! Did
he expect us to ventilate the issues of
pornography and censorship with Walt
Disney travelog:
Any justification for this act of repres-
sion, especially within the context of an
academic. conference, ly ques-
tionable. A callow minority has used
brute force to impose its verdict. And
now, to make the situation even sicker,
several students are awaiting a grand
jury decision about. prosecution for their
part in the conflict. The diarge will be
showing a pornographic film at а por-
nography conference!
James E. Metzger
University of Notre Dame
Notre Damce, Indiana
JINGLING JUDGE
“Malice in Maryland,” a letter in the
February Playboy Forum, told of several
people arrested in Baltimore because ac
tor Mark Isherwood was allegedly nude
during one scene while making ап un-
derground film. I am their lawyer. After
reviewing other films made by these young
people. our state's attorney. Charles Moy-
an. decided not to press charges. However,
before they could be dropped. permission
had to be obtained from a judge of the
supreme bench of Baltimore. The case
came up before Judge Solomon Liss, who
dismissed the charges with an artwork of
his own in three stanzas:
Old Baltimore is in а spin
Because of Isherwood's. display of
skin,
She cannot bear the shame and
cracks
Brought on by showing the “bare”
facts.
Charlie Moylan was in a sweat.
O'er his decision, he did fret.
On the judge's discretion—should he
bei?
No! Instead he entered а “stet.”
And so—go thou and sin no more.
Disrobe, if need be, behind the door;
And if again, you heed Ше сай ој
art,
Rest assured, the judge will do his
part.
There may be malice in Maryland, but
there's benevolence in Baltimor
Fred E. Weisgal
Attorney аг
Baltimore, Maryl;
aw
REDS AND BEDS
А neighbor has given me а pamphlet
titled "Is the School House the Proper
Place to Teach Raw Sex?”
Dr. Gordon V. Drake and distributed by
Christian Crusade Publications of Tulsa
Oklahoma. Т copied down the adjectives
and descriptive phrases used by Dr.
Drake to describe sex educators. and I
think readers of The Playboy Е
might find the list amusing. This is what
sex educators are. and do, according то
Dr. Drake:
They “wallow in sexsationalism" and
in the mire"; they “reclassify forbidden
fruits of the past into juicy sex
; they may eith
or admit а fra
they “peddle Fre
warped logic” and contribute
but sheer degeneracy to the
education of our youth”; they remind
Dr. Drake “of Karl. Marx, who declared
that ‘religion is the opiate of ihe
rum
for today
people" and who knew “that religion had
10 be destroyed before communism could
hope to maintain control ol tion by
1
reducing it 10 slavery and dumb obedi-
they promote “
liuic
supposed dignity of the classroom, is
i] sin jist plain dirty talk"; they
xologists—who
Ne: shade of muddy
nisters colored athei
camp followers of every persuasion:
beat psychiatrists to ruthless. publishers
of pornography"; and, of course, they
are “degenerar
docs PLAYBOY know about this
Hermosa
Chicago, IHlinois
See the answer to the following letter
y came across an attack on sex
a group called MOTOREDE
(Movement to Restore Decency). Among
other things, MOTOREDE says:
ion in time to do
I on
ese forces of e
every front, But our first concern is
з our school ildren. For
is a mater of record that the Com-
munists are. behind a massive effort
to destroy the m
to
make us helpless against their strate
gy of congu
By far the most dangerous and
disastrous step in this whole pro-
gram 10 promote degeneracy is the
present increas
to invioduce con
imo our schools, all the
av from kindergarten. through high
school.
[We] do not believe that the cur-
rent drive [oi
ious "sex. educa:
(concluded on page 783)
„е ت مت م
Put this A
in your washer
and smoke it!
A pipe, in a dishwasher? "That's enough to make a guy leave home.
But wait. That pipe is The Pipe, the first pipe to break with tradition
and find something better for its bowl. Pyrolytic Graphite. That's space age
missile material. Onc of its many wonders is the way it cornes clean. A wipe
with Kleenex or a dash of water does it—leaves the bowl clean-as-new, no
hangover odors (the one thing gals hate about pipes).
But men don't choose their pipes just because they clean so simply.
Men like pipes because they smoke good. And The Pipe's wonder- UE
bowl smokes better than good. 10 to 20% cooler, with 84% less tar, 71%
less nicotine.
Break-in? None of that with a pure carbon liner. The Pipe smokes mel-
low from the first puff, and there's none of the other fuss that causes so _
тапу men to give up on pipes. The Pipe lights up in two puffs and
keeps smoking the whole bow] through. "There's no drying-out,
no bitterness.
Dandy Dad's Day or Grad's Gift. He'll feel better, do
better and look better with The Pipe leading the way.
$12.50 in Ebony, $15 in Burnt Orange and seven other
tie and shirt-matching hues. Rally
Stripes too. The Pipe for him.
lu.W ү T
| ҮЧҮ, 6WUt CLL
(0 Y4Y VIL
| SEUL AY
DADA NA pu р P ББ
Gard/ Venturi Companies, Н
94103. Member of The Pipe and Tobacco Council cf Am:
For “The Story of The Pipe" write
Californi
t Bldg, San Francisco,
. U.S. Patent 3,420,244.
75
Can you spot the druggist from Toledo?
Of course not.
That's the point.
Somewhere in our picture is what
appears іо be just another Italian
playboy sitting in his expensive Italian
sports car.
But somewhere up there is a very
dependable druggist in his very de-
pendable Karmann Ghia.
It looks like a racy sports job be-
cause it was designed by the Ghia
Studios of Turin, Italy.
It runs like a Volkswagen because,
underneath, that's exactly what it is
Complete with4-wheel independent
suspension, front disc brakes, 4-speed
synchronized gear-box, oil cooler and
rear-mounted air-cooled engine.
To put an end to the suspense, the
Karmann Ghia is the snappy number
just left of center.
Andforasnappy$2,575* it'syours.
So yov can look like the kind of
person to whom price is
no object.
And with the money
you save, it won't be.
‘SYOLNSWAGEN OF AMERICA, INC. SUGGESTED RETAIL PRICE, EAST COAST Р.о. (52,67? WEST COAST P.O.E.) LOCAL TAXES AND OTHER DEALER DELIVERY CHARGES, IF ANY, ADDITIONAL, WHITCWALLS OPTIONAL AT ETRA COST.
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: GORE VIDAL
а candid conversation with the acerbic social commentalor, political
polemicist, playwright, producer and author of “тута breckinridge’
One of the few happy developments of
1968—a year disfigured by police riots,
student rebellions, political awassinations
and а rancorous Presidential campaign
—was the emergence into the national
consciousness of Gore Vidal. “Myra Breck-
midge,” Vidal's controversial 11th novel,
which appeared in February of last year,
has sold some 1,500,000 copies—an almost
unheard-of success for a serious literary
And Vidal reached an
work in America.
even larger audience six months later. At
Loth political conventions and on election
night, he appeared. opposite William F.
Buckley, Jr.. às а commentator jor ABC.
Except for one viluperative exchange bi
tween the two authors on the bloodiest
night of the disturbances at the Demo-
«тапс Convention т Chicago—an e:
neither really
many observers agreed that the pugnacious
polemicist and editor of the National Re-
view had finally met his caustic match in
Vidal. At least the television. audience
discovered that there was someone on the
left with a tongue and a mind as sharp as
Buckley's on the right.
Vidal's mixed-media breakthrough as а
firstmagnitude celebrity was neither a
surprise nor an overnight success. Though
he's only 43, he has been excelling in a
remarkably disparate number of careers
for close lo a quarter of a century. Often
concurrently, he has been a novelist, a
writer of television dramas, a Hollywood
scenarist, a theater critic, a playwright, a
member of inner White House social
circles, a political columnist, а television
personality and even a political candidate.
change that man ion
“If we survive long enough to evolve a
rational society. there will be a trend
loward bisexuality. For one thing, bisex-
uality is, quite simply, more interesting
than monosexualit
Literary success came carly. Graduated
from Philips Exeter Academy in 1943,
Vidal served ош the War on а ship
transporting men and supplies from is-
land to island in the Aleutians. His first
novel, “Williwaw,” was based on these
Wartime experiences. Written when he
was 19, it was followed in 1947 by "In a
Yellow Wood.” and Vidal found himself
in contention with Truman Capote for
lionization as America’s brightest young
literary light. But both books ате marred
by a tendency to mime the styles of
Stephen Crane and Ernest. Hemingway.
Vidal conceded later, “easily the
cleoerest young fox ever to know how to
disguise his ignorance and make а virtue
of his limitations.” In his third novel,
“The City and the Pillar.” Vidal wisely
forsook the flat realism of the first uo
but he also abandoned convention. A
frank and sympathetic homosexual. ro-
mance, И cast him out of. literary. favor
with readers and critics alike.
Ете more novels followed in quick
succession. About three of them—"Search
for the King? “The Judgment of Paris”
and "Messiah" —Vidal says, somewhat bit-
terly. “These works resembled hardly at
all the books that had gone before. but
unfortunately, 1 was by then so entirely
әш of fashion that they were ignored.”
In 1954, thoroughly discouraged and in
need of money, Vidal turned. to writing
was.”
for television. A score of sevipts through
the next two years—some originals, some
adaplations—earned him аз much money
as had the previous near decade of
novel writing. The most successful of his
“The people recognized themselves in
1. B. J. and recoiled. He was the snake-
oil salesman, just as Nixon is the realtor
intent upon selling us that nice develop-
ment land that turns out to be swamp.”
pi
television plays, “Visit to a Small Planet,”
presaged Vidal's deepening political con-
cerns. The visitor of the title—a sophisti-
cate from outer space—comes to earth to
see a war, even if he has to start one him
self, because, he explains, "Its the one
thing you people down here do really
well” Vidal adapted the show for Broad-
way, where it enjoyed a twoscason run. In
the late Fifties, he wrote two more plays
for the tube (in one of which he played
a minor vole) and worked on a number
of filmscripts, including “Ben-Hur” and
Tennessee Williamy "Suddenly, Last Sum-
mer.” His second Broadway play, “The
Best Man,” followed in 1960—and also
тап [or two seasons
By 1960, in fact, it began to seem as if
Gore Vidal was the collect nom de
plume of a halfdown equally gifted
men. Three movies written or inspired
by Vidal, as well as the play, were ap-
pearing simultaneously in New York;
Jack Paar and David Susskind had. dis-
covered in him a provocative new guest;
and his theater criticism was appearing
regularly in The Reporter. To top it off.
Vidal was the Democratic candidate for
Congress т New York's 29th District.
The writer's active interest in politics
came even earher than his commitment
to writing. (71 have, since childhood,”
Vidal told The New Yorker, “said that 1
would rather be President than write”)
His parents were divorced when he was
ten, and his mother married Hugh D.
Auchincloss, who is also the stepfather,
through another marriage, of the present
Mrs. Aristotle Onassts—the link that was
“tt is quite true that "Мута Breckin-
has earned те а great deal of
money. Jf 1 e lo say that I1 had writ-
ten il in order to make money, I would
be understood and absolved of sin.”
7
PLAYBOY
78
to make Vidal a frequent White House
visitor in Camelot's first years. Vidal spent
much of his childhood in the company
of his maternal grandfather, Thomas
Pryor Gore, the blind Senator from Okla-
пота, guiding the fervidly isolationist old
man around the Capitol and reading
newspaper editorials, the Congressional
Record and works on monetary theory to
him. At Exeter, still very much under
his grandfather's influence, he organized
а group that propagandized against Amer-
ican participation in World War Two. By
the time he decided to run for Congress
in 1960, the conservatism of his youth had
evolved into a tough, if not radical, liber-
alism—favoving recognition of Communist
China, Federal aid to education and a
decrease in defense spending. Vidal lost
the race but garnered more votes than
had any Democratic candidate in the
district since 1910.
Committing himself again to writing
—and to the novel, with “Julian,” a
fictionalized biography of the Fourth Cen-
tury Roman emperor who tried in vain
to turn back the tide of Christianity—
Vidal rejected two subsequent offers to
run for office in New York. And in
March 1963, he broke his links with the
Kennedy White House in a magazine
article called “The Best. Man—1968."
“There ave flaws in his persona hard to
disguise." he wrote of then-Attorney Gen-
eral Robert F. Kennedy. "For one thing,
it will take a public-relations genius to
make him appear lovable, He is not. . .
He has none of his brother's human eas
or charity.” Vidal's opinion of Robert
Kennedy changed as Kennedy himself did
in the following years, but the possibility
of a conventional political carcer for the
writer was closed,
His fascination with the ways of pow-
ev, however, remained very much alive,
In “Washington, D. C." which was pub-
lished in 1967, Vidal shifted novelistically
from Roman to American imperial poli-
tics, tracing the fortunes of a number of
archetypal figures who, in the years from
1937 to 1952, helped transform the Ameri-
сип republic into what Vidal calls “pos-
sibly the last empire on earth” Like
“Julian” before it, the book was ап in-
stant best seller.
In “Myra Breckinridge,” Vidal moved
from the surgical dissection of political
venery lo a broader and bloodier attack
on America's social and sexual mores.
The book's title character participates in
orgies, an interminable anal rape and
а sadomasochistic coupling that ends ina
broken neck [or one ecstatic partner, all
їп the course of what Vidal considers “a
mad hymn to bisexuality.” Most critics
found the book's theme less affirmative.
In the words of The Reporter. “Others,
including . . . Mailer and Albee, have
declared war on the American. Dream,
but по опе so far has disposed of it in
quite such a nightmare fashion.”
With his fiction becoming increasingly
polemical, Vidal has often turned to the
critical essay in recent years to promote his
T About “Rocking the Boat,” the first
hardcover collections of nonfiction,
New York's Mayor John V. Lindsay wrote;
“Vidal is the most ingratiating of icono-
clasts. For while he is leveling the house-
hold gods with a devastating sally, he has
disarmed you with the sliest grins.” The
second anthology—and Vidal's most recent
book—is “Reflections upon а Sinking
Ship," published this spring by Little,
Brown. Hs 25 pieces of literary and social
comment fully justify the Manchester
Guardi pronouncement that "Vidal
has an acute and impish intelligence
which makes him the nearest thing im-
aginable to a new-model Bernard Shaw.”
Vidal divides his time between homes
in Rome, where he does most of his
writing, and їп New York Gity—al-
though a number of projects have made
him a frequent Hollywood visitor. this
year. Shooting began a few weeks ago on
his adaptation of Tennessee Williams’
“The Seven Descents ef Myrile;" and he
is both writing and producing big-budget
film versions of “Julian” and "Myra." He
satisfies his interest in politics by working
for the New Party, which he helped found
after the defeat of Senator Eugene Mc-
Carthy and the bloodshed of the Demo-
cratic Convention, Our interview began
with the political turmoil of the past
year and a half—and the outlook for the
new Administration.
PLAYBOY: As one who was intimately in-
volved in last year's electoral process—
first as ап carly supporter of Senator
Eugene McCarthy's c then as a
political commentator for ABC at the
Republican and Democratic Conventions
—what do you see as the prob:
pact of the Nixon Administration on
this country and on the world?
VIDAL: “People arc what they
Eleanor Roosevelt used to say,
sorrow than in triumph. Nixon is wl
he is and—again, Mrs. Roosevelt.
can't change people." There is, of course,
a popular myth that people do change:
but in real life, they don't. With age and
experience, they simply become morc
adroit at selling themselves. Nixon has
never been interested in issues or ideas,
only in self-promotion. His Congression-
career was а perfect. blank—nothing
accomplished, no one represented except
T r for those who con-
tributed to his famous slush fund. He
did fight the Commies, however, and so
became known. Reports on his Vicc-
Presidential years show that at Cal
meetings, he seldom had апу
about issues but
promoting the party.
PLAYBOY: Soon after the election, News-
week suggested that Nixon's quilifi
tions us а complete political tech
are among his redeeming Presidential
assets Do you feel there's any truth to
tha?
VIDAL If the technician were interested
in solving real problems, we would all be
his debt. But if Nixon has ever had
ту ideas about the American empire or
the situation of the blacks. he has been
careful not to confide them 10 us. More
to the point, since he is imerested only
in self promotion, he is not about to
j irc The Career by taking a strong
n on any issue. The ghettos wi
be "solved," he tells us. by giving tax cuts
10 private industry for doing business with
the blacks. Well. it doesn’t take a pro-
found student of the human heart to know
that the tax cuts will be accepted gladly
nd that the ghettos will be no better
off. It is a proof of his banality not only
that he thinks we don't know how inade
quate what he proposes is but that the
very way he puts his “solution” shows
that to him the ghetto is something
inaurable—to be improved, mot elim
ed. But then. of course, he is а con
servative as well as ап opportunist, and
conservatives believe that the poor are
ys with us, that the human heart is
ly. we're all rascals,
Шу, that should
masters. It is the liberal dis
things can be п
m liberal, and so un
present.
PLAYBOY: Wh
are in power?
VIDAL: Yes, and because they m to do
nothing, while the lively new radicals of
aves
the left have given up. The only thing
left
and right have in common is a dis-
n for the liberals. The conservatives
are now tending toward fascism—cack
down on dissent, support your local police.
disobey the Supreme Court—while the
New Left wants to destroy the entire sys-
tem. Emotionally. I'm drawn to the Nc
Left. 1 would certainly go to the bar
cades for апу movement that wants to
sweep away the Pentagon, Time magi
zine and frozen ch fried potatoe!
But what is to take its place? The New
Left not only have no blueprint, they
don't want a blueprint. Lets just sce
what happens, they say. Well. I can tell
them what will happen: first chy,
then dictatorship. They are rich in Tom
Paines, but they have no Thomas Jel-
ferson.
PLAYBOY: Nixon has announced that after
an ега of confrontation, we must now
begin an era of negotiation. Do you sce
this as a hopeful si
VIDAL: He enjoys taking trips abroad and
thinks himself ional expert
because. over tl ars, he has met a
h whom he ha
interpreter for as long
I think he'll do a lot of
ng, but nothing much wil
You know, empires have thei
namic, and individuals don't much
ern
у
as 30 minutes.
their progress. Take the American empire.
Up until the end of the 19th Century, we
confined to our own continent, sc
ing land from Mexico. uying to invade
nd. of course, breaking every
ade with the indigenous
population, the Ind
for slaughtering them
priating their land. By 1
tinent was full up. We were at the edge
of the Pacific Ocean, dressed to kill, with
no place to go. The result was a serious
ional depresion—emotional as well as
economic. Fortunately, that master ther;
pist. Teddy Roosevelt. was able to contrive
а war with Spain that put us into the
empire business in a big way: Not only
we "free" Cuba but we took on Puerto
Rico and. most significant, the Philip
pines, Westward the course of empire
flowed and still Hows. When Teddy's
in Franklin maneuvered the Japanese
s expro-
the con-
excuse to go 10. England's
inst Hitler—we became the gr
est power in the Pacific. Now Amer
white hordes are on the mainland of Asi
sustaining а much-deserved defeat.
PLAYBOY: Obviously, you feel that the
U.S. should withdraw from its commit
ments in
VIDAL: If we continue, not only shall we
ро bankrupt. we me quite apt to be
destroyed in а nuclear war with Chi
But сап we stop? 1 doubt it. Empires are
ps there will be а remis-
but it's not very likel
Meanwhile, the biopsy report is malig
Happily. we w least have been the
shortesi-lived. empire in histor
PLAYBOY: Do you think public sentiment
for peace is sufficiently strong to influence
the new Administration in the direction
of à negotiated settlement іп Vietnam?
VIDAL: Certainly the war is hurting the
econo 1 the people don't like that.
But at a deeper level. 1 think our people
revel in war and blood. particularly if
the victims belong to "inferior" races.
PLAYBOY: That doesn't sound like the
ма.
statement of a man who identifies him-
self as а liberal.
Vipat: The sad paradox of liberalism is to
want majority rule while realizing that
the majority is instinaively illiberal. The
Bill of Rights was the creation of the
educated few, not of the ignorant many
who would have rejected it—and i
tice do reject it, quite as firmly as Mayor
Daley did last A
ing the police
odd. the nobly
myself admiting—if only brielly—
treatment of his kulaks. The police rep-
resent the same class in this country, as
. M Chicago,
l, the
1 found
its most bitter and igne
they had a chance to revenge themselves
on their economic and intellectual bet-
‘The result, as the Walker Report
| was "a police riot.” At the moment,
the real danger to America is not anarchy
but repressive police. power. The fact
that we recruit our police from the
class that provides us with o
makes them even more d
because the
their respect: he is their brother, while
the college professor тер
erous to us,
criminal at
Ts there such a great difference
the values of
and the "kulaks" of this countr
The dilterence
tion and the Dark Ages. One Chicago
n? They want to show
people fucking. They want everybody to
Alter some
that he'd d
ers say in an
those hippies v
the place."
I discovered
one of the dissen
that there was something si
society that preferred its d
watch people |
instead of mak
ig love. 1 sai
sonable point of view. Sex is
good, Murder is bad. Wouldn't he prefer
jds to watch love being made to
i? Voice shaking with
LI thought
iolence and killi
degenerates. fucki
kill them all!”
and Dr. Rose Franzbl
The cops should
It was as il M
ч had never live
its certainly
itle really new about the
tolerance you abhor, and
has survived periods of even
right-wing hyster
the Joe McCarthy era i
point. Is there
the usual deg
current prospects?
VIDAL: Yes.
more intense
use for more than
ee of pessimism about our
The strain. of violence that
always run deep in our society
ted by two race w:
inst the blacks and
t the yellows. It is
been. exacerl
onc abroad
series of. showdow
course, ever since the Puritans.
these shores. Incidentally
bal lore that
here to esc
fact, they м
it is part of
driven first out of Eng-
n out of Holland, because of
secution of others We ha
. But then things
tury, and we
inning as а nation, with a
the 18th С
n intolerance of other
races and cultures, combined with
tional ethos based entirel
roduced an Amer
“ugly” but, worse, unable to
understand why he is so hated in the
world. The soc
Tace the. prospect. of
fare in the cities, institutiot
sassinations in our poli
our Chicagos
y moment turn nucle-
Yet the white major
у upon human
al fabric is di
ics, suppression
d 10 all that is happen
lence is still our greatest pleasure, w
er on television or in the 1
PLAYBOY: Speaking of violence on tele
ion, one of the most memorable moments
in kıst увагу Presidential campaign was
your shouting match with William Buck
ley оп ABC during the Democratic Con-
vention. In retrospect, how do you feel
about that episode?
VIDAL: Т was reluctant to appear with
him at all. For one thing, I knew it
would reduce me to his Теке Га look
like a left-wing entertainer, balancing his
right-wing clown act. But the size of the
audience finally tempted me: as a polem
cist, it was too good an opportunity to
miss.
PLAYBOY: Fro
tes а success?
As debates, yes—though poor Bill
not at his best. I've never seen any-
one sweat as much as he did on camera.
Finally, on electi е refused
together to debate me—or even meet
me—and so we
curtain between us, answer
K. Smith's questions sepa
think where Bill got such a reputatio
а debater. I found him a bit of a bird-
unable t0 pursue any train of
hi logically, no doubt. because he
doesn’t want to let on to what extent
he really is fascist-minded.
was on the ai cist,” by the way, is
nor a word I use often—and is therefore
even to Nixon's White
House. Unable to be honest, he is forced
to be personal, accusing Norman Mailer
of wile stabbing and so on. Needless to
say, this sort of ad hominem attack is
very much admired by the kulaks.
Remember his response t0 my sugges-
tion that he a "erypto-Nari? He
was no Nazi, he shrieked, because he
had been in the infantry—non. sequitur
dl he would punch me in the nose:
hubris! Tt was a fascinating display of
sh temper, with eyes rolling, tongue
ad, as always, the
ion: The only ac-
ssroom, teach,
ing Spanish. For the record, I way in the
Pacific with the Army during the W
Thus. 10 make—or avoid—a point
will say anything. Cont
billing. Buckley is not an
your point of view, were
as T implied he
itellectu
one they dare display in public. he has
be able to make а nice niche for him-
self as а sort of epicene Joe McCarthy
PLAYBOY: Though you say you don't
usually use the word “fascist,” you've
already used it twice.
vipat: It's on my mind, obviously. Pres
sures from students, New Left and mi
int blacks could cause the conse
majority of the country to counterattack,
то create what would be. in elect. a fas-
cist society behind а democi
PLAYBOY: Do you think America
ive
PLAYBOY
80
me, are more susceptible to
other people?
But we
Century.
ble.
18th
100 Century waves
slave societies like
nd Sicily have not yet
absorbed, and these new Ameri-
‚ by and large, do not take easily to
the old American values. It is unkind to
mention this, but nonetheless true.
ar the success of George Wallace
id, Poland
Irish and Polish comi
North, Our new Americans are pr
foundly illiberal. They hate the poo
the black, the strange. To them, life's
purpose is to conform to rigid tribal law.
А conception like the Bill of Rights is
alien to them. Until they've been here а
while longer, they will always be suscep-
le to Wallace-style demagogs—unless,
of course, they change ws, which is al
ways а possibi
PLAYBOY: ЇЇ you really believe а f
takeover is in the works, what do you
propose to do about it? Do you intend
to continue living abroad, as you have
Jor several years, or have you considered
staying in this country to help organize а
beral opposition?
VIDAL | am ol iwo minds my usual
Tate. For some years I've divided my time
between Rome, where I write, and New
York, where [—what's the wordz—poli-
tick? Dissent? But I'm losing heart. For
one thing, Fm convinced that man is
biologically prog and now
that we have the m
e on the pl
our past reco
optimi
we avoid tori
to as "nuclear holoca
vc on an ov
у
rd ta ause for
give one
ming I'm wrong and
l writers
what ed
тей
resources— including; sea [arm
develop ellective and equitable
ional systems of distribution
won't be possible to feed the
generations. So there will be [amine and
disorder, Meanwhile, we are destroying
our environment. Water, carth
re being poisoned. Climate is be
1. Yet we go on breeding, creating an.
15 more and more
consumers to buy заасан end-
less, self-destructive cycle. But though
thoughtful people ar
what we are doing to ourselves, nothing
is being done to restore the planet's
ecological balance, to limit human popu-
lation, to create social and political and
omic institutions capable of coping
let alone solving—such relatively
s as poverty and ra-
Ш tell Detroit that
mst abandon the fossil fuel-burn-
ing combustion engine? No onc. And so
the air goes bad, cancers proliferate, di-
mate changes.
PLAYBOY: Do you think drastic reform is
coming
aware of
likely to be effected by our present sys-
tem of government?
vipat: No. And I find that hard to
lmit, because for all of my adult life
I've р t we call the
democr t no longer
works. ess. Last year, Bl
percent of the people wanted strong
gun-control le
al the € ss did not, on instructions
from the Rifle Association.
Congress, President, courts are not able
to keep industry from poisoning Lake
Erie, or Detroit from making cus that,
Че from the carbon monoxide they
create, are murderous weapons, To this
degree, at least, the New Left is right:
‘The system cannot be reformed. 1 part
company with them оп how its to be
replaced. They are vague. I would like
lo be specific" programmatic,” to use a
word they like even less than "lil
PLAYBOY: And what is your progra
= 1 would like to replace our pres
tem with an Authority—with a
3 A—that would have total con-
trol over environment. And environment
means not only air, carth and water but
of services and products,
and the limita . Where the
Authority would no jurisdiction
would be over the privare lives of the
citizens. Whatever. people said, wrote,
ate, drank, made love to—as long as it did
n0 harm to others
a?
would be allowed.
the pri
our citizen allowing any entre
preneur the right to poison a river
order to make mon
: Isn't wha
proposing—a
bsolute control
reas of our lives and
1 and political
liction in terms? Isn't
that the Í your
Authority would sooner or later circu
ribe the private Ше of every сийе
bsolute soc
ower
its own sphere, be absolute, it would
never be the i
There would be
should
s hotel,
anonymous specialists going about their
business under constant review by a
council of scientists, poets, butchers, poli-
tcians, teachers—the best group one
could assemble. No doubt my Venetian
ancestry makes me prone to this sort of
government, because the Most Serene
Republic was run rather like that and
no cult of personality сусг disturbed
those committees that managed the state
with great success. It can be done.
PLAYBOY: Would you explain what you
mean when you say the Authority would
be able to limit births?
I п just that, Only ce
people would be allowed to have ch
Nor is this the hardsh that
first appear. Most. people have
be ran
no talent for bringing up children and
they usually admit it—once the damage
tely, our tribal props
y woman think her life
aplete unless she has made a replica
of herself and her loved one. But tribal
propaganda be changed. One can
just as casily convince people that 10
bring ап unwanted child into the world
is а social crime as grave as murder
Through pr the Japanese made
it unfashion місу after
the War and so—alone of the Asian
countries—kept their population viable.
PLAYBOY: Your ends may be commend-
able, but let's discuss the means. What
would happen to the citizen who didn't
wish to live in your brave new world
—to the devout Roman Catholic, for
example, who refused 10 accept your
populationcontrol. measure
VIDAL If he didn't want to en
he'd simply have to accept the Auth
уз restrictions. The right to unlimited
breeding is not а constitution ran-
тее. If education and propaganda failed,
those who violated. the birth-control те
strictions would have 10 r their act
as for any other c ıl offense,
PLAYBOY: With imprisonment?
vipat. 1 don't believe in prisons, but
there would have to be some sort ol
punishment. Incontinent breeding en-
dangers the human race. That is a [act
with which we now live. If we don't
limit our numbers through planned
breeding, they will be limited for us i
the natural way - and war. I think
it more civilized to be unnatural and
it popu
would beco
family if only a few people w
10 have children?
VIDAL: The family п economic, not a
unit; and once the econom
t is gone—when
able to get jobs and suppor
he unit ceases to have à
In today’s cities, it is not
rican
ily—which was, esse
al group wor
ation.
of the
re allowed
аге
nselves
to
food. For better or worse, we arc now
Our own, and attempts to revive the
ly ideal—like Daniel Moyni
s proposal for the blacks; apparently
he wants to make Trish villagers of them
will fail. As for the children that. we
. Id like to sce them brought up
coi lly, the way they are in сенай
of the Israeli kibbutzim. I suspect that
eventually, the whole idea of parenthood
will vanish, when children are made
impersonally by laboratory insemination
of ova. To forestall the usual outraged
leners declaring that I am against the
“normal” sexual act, consider what Fm
talk the creation of citizens,
not se e, which will conti
s always. Further, I would favor an
telligent program of cugenics that would
decide which genetic types should be
do wir
ag аром
val pl
BOTTLED IN SCOTLAND. BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY. 85 PROOF IMPORTED Bv^21" BRANDS, INC, N.Y. C.
Mother
knows
Scotch.
Eod
Ballantine's: what Scotch is all about.
81
PLAYBOY
82
continued and which allowed to die off.
It's within the range of our science to
create, very simply. new people physi
ly healthier and intellectually more com-
petent than ourselves. After all. we do
regularly in agriculture and in the breed-
ig of livestock. so why not with the
ce? According to the somber
the Nobel Prize-
‘ist who once contravened
al doctrine by suggesting that we
should look for genetic diflerences among
the races—our preservation, through ad-
vanced medicine, of physically and men-
now making the race
ation.
PLAYBOY: Your critics would charge that
the utopia you propose is actually a
nightmarish world reminiscent of Nazi
Germany and of George Orwell's 1984,
How would vou answer the
VIDAL: Most th human wrong. The
Authority would probably be no excep-
tion. But consider the alternatives. Nu-
clear to reduce population. World
nine. The comi i
10 power of
dictatorships. The crushing of
freedom. At least the Authority would
antee more private freedom to its
citizens than they now enjoy.
PLAYBOY: Realistically. do you see any
chance of such an “enlightened” dicta-
torship coming to power?
VIDAL: Dictatorship. по; enlightened, yes.
Could it happen? Probably not. It takes
100 long to change tribal thinking. The
majority will always prefer a бегу death,
howling tribal slogans. A pity—but then,
it is not written in the stars that this pecul-
iar race endure forever. Now may be a
good time for us to stop. However, since
Т believe that one must always act as
though our affairs were manageable. T
should like to sce a Party for Human
Su al started on an international
scale, 10 try to persuade people to vote
willingly for a life-enhancing as well as
“preserving syste
PLAYBOY: Your detractors, on both right
and left, would argue that the proposals
ade reflect a characteristic
Vidal trait: intellectual arrogance and а
ic elitist contempt for the people and
to govern themselves, Do
you think they have a point?
VIDAL: I do not admire “ihe people," as
such. No one really does.
wisdom is usually false, their instincts
predatory. Even their sense of survival—
so highly developed in the individual—
goes berserk in the mass, A crowd is a
fool. But then, crowds don't govern. In
fact. only in America do we pretend to
worship the majority, reverently
ing to the herd as it Gallups this w
nd that. A socialist nd of mine
island, a Labor M. P., once said. "You
Americans are mad on the subject of
democracy. But we aren't. because we
know if the people were given their
head, they would bring b
the birch and, of course, th
‘Their folk
ggers out of the count unately.
the Labor Party has no traffic with de-
mocracv." I want the people to be hap-
py. but more than that, I want them to
be humane—something they are not, as
everyone from Jesus to Karl Marx has
о notice,
your cynicism
had occasion
PLAYBOY. Desp
VIDAL Realism is always called суп
I am a pessimist—who tries to act like an
optimist.
AYBOY: All right—despite your pessi-
mism about the furure of America and
the world, and your disenchantment
with the democratic process, уоп cam-
paigned actively last year on behalf of
Senator McCarihys nomination and.
were subsequently active in the move-
ment to Launch a fourth party, the New
Party. If everything is so bleak and hope-
less—short of the accession to power of
the Authority—why did you bother?
VIDAL: [t's better to be futile than. pas-
sive. I supported McCarthy because he
mobilized the youth of the country
acted as if the national institu
might still be made to work. Bur he
iled. The next move. to my
was the New Party, which came
ing at Chicago. It is a place for the
Oung. an alternative to the sys-
activist
tem that has made Richard Nixon em-
at
peror of the West.
PLAYBOY: Despite your longsta
mosity toward the late Senator Kennedy,
you were ready тө support him for the
Presidency before McCarthy announced
his nomination. Supporters of Kennedy
Still argue that, despite the tardiness of
his entry into the race after. McCarthy's
New Hampshire primary victory, Kenne-
dy was the only peace candidate with a
al chance of victory, and that Mc-
thy's failure to withdraw in his favor
—allegedly prompted by personal pique
—merely played into the hands of Hu-
bert Humphrey and made his nomina-
ion inevitable. If Kennedy had lived,
do you believe that McCarthy's role
would have been that of a spoiler?
VIDAL: I believe just the opposite. 1 think
Kennedy the spoiler and that he
should have withdrawn in favor of Mc-
Carthy. After all, it was McCarthy who
went imo New Hampshire and destroyed
L. B. J., something Bobby did not have
the courage to do. For all of Bobby's
renowned toughness and abrasiveness, he
was politically conventional and timid.
He wanted to be President in the “nor-
mal” way. He wanted “to put it to-
gether.” Well, it isn’t together anymore.
Jt was his bad luck to be caught in а
revolution he didn't understand. though
he did like its rhetoric. Yet the conserv-
ative majority of the country hated him
and thought п à revolutionary. I won-
der what will happen when the real
thing comes along. The two Kennedys
were cl rvative politicians,
nicely su litional game but
hardly revolutionaries or innovators.
PLAYBOY: Would you have preferred Ken.
nedy to Johnson?
VIDAL: Certainly. Although Bobby had
been very much involved in getting us
mo Viemam—he once said we had
every moral right" 10 be there—toward
the end, he saw the light, or the votes
and became а peace candidate. Abo.
though 1 believe in character
changes. ] do have a theory that if vou
keep giving a conservative politician lib
eral speeches to read, he will eventualls
become a liberal, and vice versa. Friends
of mine who were close to Kennedy tell
me that in the last months of his life, hc
really seemed to believe his own rhetoric.
had come to identify with the poor and
the dispossesed. If so, good. Strangely
enough. T always found him a touching
figure under the bad manners. He was
obsessed bv his relative inferiority to his
older brothers. As a result. he had to be
twice as tough as everyone eke, have
twice as many children. What a tense life
it must have been—and, finally, sad.
PLAYBOY: How did you feel when you
learned of his assassination?
VIDAL: Depressed. In а str
you come to like vour mies rather
better than. your av]
wasn't surprised. It seemed inevitable. Noi
long ago. something like 30 percent of
those living in one Manhattan neighbor
hood were found to be in need of psy
chiatric help. At the same time, there arc
200,000,000 guns in private hands in the
United States: that's one for every citi
zen. Were it not for fear of J. Edgar
Hoover, we would all be dead.
PLAYBOY: In this kind of society—with
that many guns—do you think that pub
men can cflectively be protected from
tion?
Anybody can murder а Presi-
dent. Once. sitting next to Jack Kennedy
at a horse show, I remarked how easy it
would be for someone to shoot him.
"Only," I said, "they'd probably miss
and hit me" "No great los," he ob
served cheerfully and then, beaming ar
the crowd and tr
don't
пре way
me the plot of an Edgar Wallace thriller
called Twenty-Four Hours, in which
a British Prime Minister is informed
that at midnight he will be assassinated
Scotland Yard takes every precaution:
10 Downing Street is ringed by guards
midnight comes and goes. Then, the
telephone rings. Relieved. the Prime Min
ister picks up the receiver—and is electro
cuted, The President chuckled. He often
spoke of the risk of assassination, but I
doubt he thought it would ever hap-
pen to him. His virrne—and weakness—
was his rationality, He had no sense of
nan affairs,
T think so. But then, the artist is
always more concerned with the moon's
а side than the man of acti
However, I am not prone to mysticism
L
tine*
Menthol
C fitva
*Accordiug to latest U.S. Government figures
Silva Thins—
nicoi
of all 100%,
lower than most Kings.
Thin
The one thats in
HINS
MENTHO
lowest in ‘tar’ and
Yet better taste.
S
=
=
=
о
=
3
c
PLAYBOY
84
or Yeatsian magic. Only once have I ever
had what's the word?—presentiment,
In 1961 I dicimced, in full color, tl I
was in the White House with Jackie.
Dress soaked h blood, she was sob-
bin What will become of me now?"
Yet І don't “believe in" dreams, and I
certainly would not believe in this dream
if someone else told it to me
PLAYBOY: Do you believe that the assassi-
nations of John and Robert Kennedy
wi he work of lone lunatics—or of a
well-organized conspiracy?
VIDAL: 1 tend to the lone-lunatic theory.
Oswald. Sirhan. They arc so typical, as
anyone who ever served in the Army
knows. We are a violent country with a
high rate of mental illness, much of it
the result of overcrowding in the cities,
Wwherc—like rats under similar conditions
in а laboratory experiment—we go
ane. То allow any nut to buy a gun is
folly no other country in the world
permits. During year’s French revo-
lution, involving millions of people,
there were fewer casualties in two weeks
than there were in the first hour of New-
ark's ghetto. riot
PLAYBOY: To return to the Kennedy assas-
sinations, don't you feel there may be
some evidence 10 support the conspi
theory. particularly in the Oswald case?
VIDAL: Like everyone else, I believe the
last book I read: apruder Frame 313,
J. F. K. pitches backward, not forward." It
does seem as if Oswald might have had
help; and if he did, then there was,
indeed. а conspiracy. I realize that a
generation brought up on horror comics
and Gunsmoke convinced that thc
Machiirds did in our Prince, just so they
у
could make the White House their
aviary; but T think it not very likely.
The villains, if they exist, are prob
‘Texas ойтеп, fearing а Kennedy repeal
of the oildepletion allowance: in othe
words. a conspiracy as unserious politi-
cally as the John Wilkes Booth caper.
Nevertheless, just as a phenomenon, it is
that a nation that has never
experience
obsessed by co
of “them” is a symptom. of р
Look at Joe McCarthy's great success.
Look at Mr. Garrison in New Orleans. In-
cidentally, 1 used to know Clay Shaw;
and if there is anyone less likely to have
wwolved in a political murder, it is
harming apolitical
dicted, My. Garrison's case
was nonsense.
PLAYBOY: Whoev tal John Ken-
nedy, and for whatever reasons, do you
believe that if Kennedy had lived, he
could have reversed, or at least arrested,
i y you decry?
But then, no опе could—or
an. "These things are cyclic. By and
arge, Kennedy drifted. When he did act,
the results were disastrous. Consider the
Bay of Pigs, which took for granted that
the United States has the right to inter
coup d'état. should be so
been
Shaw
the social dec
VIDAL: No.
vene militarily in the affairs of other
nations; and Vietnam, where he—not
Eisenhower—commitied us to active mil
ary support of a corrupt regime. There
are those who believe that had he lived,
he would have got us out of Asia. But I
doubt it. The week before his assassina-
‚ he told an associate, “I have t0 go
the way with this one"—mcaning
ter Cuba, he did not dare look
on communism, particularly with
an election coming up.
PLAYBOY: Apart fiom forcig ‚ how
would you assess the Kennedy Adminis-
Mediocre. Presidents are supposed
to be made in their first 18 months,
TI те able to push
through ms. Kennedy’s first
18 months were a blank. Nothing hap:
pened. And by his third summer, it was
in even to him that he was botching
the job. In private. he was full of com.
plaints and excuses. He felt that he
could do nothing with the Congress, and
so he did nothing with the Congress.
Re-elected in 1961 with a proper. major-
ity, however, he thought he would do
„ І doubt For
onc thing, he would have been holding
the franchise for his brother and thar
would have meant a second Administr:
tion as cautious as the first. More to the
point, the quality that gave him his great
mm was пог of much use to him as
EE ronic detachment
about him: 1 remember.
once he was complaining about how the
“ throws money around,
ol stopping them." It
didn't seem to occur to him that even at
this late date in the reign of the military-
industrial complex, the Administration
was his. not theirs.
PLAYBOY: Don't you thi
the groundwork for genu
ress by giving the nation a new momen-
tum in peace and c rights that could
have come to fruition in his second term?
VIDAL: On almost every subject, he made
at least one splendid speech, and left it
at that. Domestically, he was simply
carrying forward the program of the
New Deal It was left ta Johnson to
complete the New Deal. He rounded out
not only Kennedy's interrupted first term
but Roosevelt's fourth.
PLAYBOY: In the foreign-policy area, many
ny cite Kennedy's ha
n missile айыз as
major accomplishment
— perhaps the greatest of his carcer, They
point out that set the stage for a
subsequent thaw in the U. S. Soviet rela-
tions and thus substantially reduced the
danger of nuclear war. Do you agrec?
VIDAL: In 1965 asked whether or
not Sovier missiles in Cuba really jcop-
ardized the security of the United States,
Kennedy said, “Not really. But it would
have changed the balance of political
power. Or it would have appeared to,
nk Kennedy laid
е social prog-
dling of the Cul
undeniable
whe:
and appearances contribute to rea
Kennedy's handling of the crisis was
asterpiece, which
g at all except his own
id made himself scem force
the mauer ended, the
Cuba, 90 miles away
and we were neither stronger nor weaker,
despite all dhe theater
Is your hastility to the Kennedy
г prompted exclusively by political
ilerations, or is there an clement of
ion?
animus in your opposi
VIDAL: Personally, I didn't like Bobby
bur I did like Jack. The others don't
interest. me. As for my opposition—is it
likely that, with my view of what needs
doing in the country, I would ever be
much pleased with the works of such
conservative and conventional politicians?
PLAYBOY: What wi you liked personal-
ly about President Kenned:
VIDAL: He had a fine dry kind of humor,
not very American, coupled with a sort
of preppish toughness that was engaging.
I remember once giving to а particularly
bright magazine writer a very guarded
report about my childhood, which was
much the same as Jackie's. We were both
brought up in Hugh Auchindoss'—our
stepfather's—house in Virginia. I lived
there from 10 to 16. Then Jackie's moth-
er married Mr. Auchincloss and Jackie
moved into my room, inheriting several
shirts of mine, which she used to w
riding. 1 don't remember her in those
days—I enlisted in the Army at I7—but
our lives overlapped: We have а һай
brother and a half in common.
I was un ате of her. however, until
the Forties, when I began to get reports
from friends visiting Washington that
she had introduced herself to them
my sister: 1 was, pre-Kennedy, the fam-
ily notable. In 1949, we finally met and
I allowed her claim to be my sister to
stand. Anyway, 1 certainly know what
her childhood was like, since it was
pretty much the one 1 had endured. So
told the interviewer something about
life in that world, described how seques-
tered it was, how remote Пош any re-
sister
s.
During the Depression, which was un
known то us the Roosevelts seemed
Lucifer’s own family loose among, us; the
American gentry liked to call them the
Rosenfelds, on the fragile ground that they
were really Dutch Jews and, therefore,
Communist. since all. Jews were Commu
nists except the Rothschilds, who didn't
look Jewish. You have no idea wh:
muddled v of things the American
мосгасу had in those days, with their
ferou anti-Semi hated of the
lower orders and fierce will to protect their
property from any encroachment, Liberal
hagiographers will always have a difficult
time recording the actual background of
our Republics Gracchian princes.
Anyway, not wanting to give the game
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PLAYBOY
86
away, I made а vague reference in that
interview to what I thought was an ui
real "golden season" and let it go аг
that. One nig] i
mon at Hyann
"Gore, what's all this golden season shit
you've been peddi about life at Mer-
rywood?” I thought him ungrateful.
“You hardly expect me to tell the truth,
do you He ignored that and chose
ascad to mount, as Jackie listened, а
fine Grade against our family, how each
of us was a disaster, ending with, “Mer
rywood wasn't golden at all. It was . . .
it was . . ." he searched for a simile,
found one and said t phantly, “Tt
was the little foxes!” But, of course, he
was a cheerful snob who took a delight
a having married into what he regarded
as the American old guard—another
badge for the Kennedys, those very big
foxes who have done their share of spoil-
ing in the vineyard. But the Kennedy
story is finished. The age of Nixon has
begun.
PLAYBOY: Edw
d Kennedy might not
agree that the Kennedy era is over,
VIDAL: When Teddy Kennedy fist ran
for the Senate, there was a great cackling
from even the most devoted of the Ken-
nedy capons: He was too young, too
dumb—in fact, they were so upset that a
number of them openly supported his
opponent in the primary, Speaker Me
Cormack's nephew. At about that time, E
asked a member of the Holy Family why
the President had allowed his brother to
run, The member of the Н. F. admitted
that it was embarrassing for the Presi-
dent, even admitted that Teddy was not
exactly brilliant. but added, “He'll have
wonderful advisors and that’s all that
is big money. X can be
stupid or a drunk or a religious man
but if he has the money for a ma
political carecr and enough pol
jor
ical flair
to make a good public impression, he
will automatically attract to himself quite
a number of political adventurers, some
talented, With luck. he will become the
nucleus of a political team that then
creates his speeches, his positions, his
deeds, if any—Presidential hopefuls sel-
dom do апу finally, X is
entirely the team’s creation, ipulated
rather than manipulating, in much the
same way that the queen bee is powerless
in relation to the dron nd workers.
At the moment, the Teddy Kennedy
hive is buzzing happily. There's honey in
the comb and perhaps one day the
swarm will move down Pennsylvania
Avenue to occupy the White House. But,
once again, I doubt it. For one thing,
there are too other swarms at work
—Humphrey, Muskie, McCarthy, not to
mention the possibility of a Nixon sec
ond tenn, followed by а good bee like
Lindsay, or a bad bee like Agnew. The
future is obscure. Rut one thing is cer-
п: The magic of the Kennedy name
will have faded in four years, be gone in
eight years, By 1972, E. M. K., as he's now
being touted, will no longer be a Ken-
nedy as we have come to think of that
splendid band of brothers. Rather, he
will be just another politician whom we
have seen too much of, no doubt useful
in the Senate but noth
amili stodgy, us, trying to
evoke memories that have faded, he will
have to yield to new stars, to a politically
i ronaut or to some bright tele-
vision personality like Trudeau. By 1976,
Camelot will be not only forgot but
storable, if for no other reason than
Arthur's heir will by then be—
cruclest [ate of all—unmistakably fat.
PLAYBOY: How do you feel about the Age
of Johnson?
ad. He did so much in his first
18 months. He was able to force through
the Congress all sorts of constructive
ion, ranging from public health
ighis. He was something of a
wonder, in marked contrast to his prede-
cessor, who treated him with contempt;
the Kennedy courtiers, in fact, fled at his
approach. He had every reason to dislike
them. It’s been argued that Johnson's pro-
grams were inadequate, but then, w
adequate in times like these? At 1
did what he could do, given the kind of
Government we have, and that is the
most any conventional party politician
can be expected to do.
PLAYBOY: What might a radical politi
accomplish?
ViDAL: The word "radical" comes from
the Latin word meaning “root.”
cal politician could go to the root of
things—something no conventional poli-
tician dares do, for fear of what he'll
find. But, of course, there are no radical
politicians close to the top of our system
nor are there apt to be until—a para-
dox—it's changed. Our politicians—like
our people—are about equally divided
between conservatives and reactionaries,
with very few radicals of any kind.
PLAYBOY: Would the leadership of your
Party for Human Survival be radical?
VIDAL: By definition, yes. After all, they
would be creating a new social order to
save our old race.
+ Since the idea for such a party
do you sce yourself as a radical
In thought, certainly. I'm not so
sure in deed, С the power, would 1
also have the faith in my own rightness
to pull down the house and dieu die
energy, as well as the wisdom, to build
anothe But then, Voltaire,
sale among his Swiss lakes, made possible
the French Revolution—and Bonaparte—
just as Bernard Shaw prepared the way for
Harold Wilson. Analogies are pointless,
thank God, Each case is different, Each
life is different. All that cin be said of
this time is that radical action is necessary
if we are to survive.
PLAYBOY. In your opinion, did L. R. J—
though by your definition a convention
П orde
politician—have any sense of what the
times required? Or was he merely shor-
g up what you consider the old, out
moded social and political institutions?
vipat: Like Kennedy, he simply contin
ued the New Deal—which, in his youth,
had all the glamor of radicalism, without
its substance. Roosevelt saved capitalism
by accepting a degree of welfarísm. John-
son applied the same formulas, with less
dramatic results. When Roosevelt's ex-
per Second
World War disguised their inadequacy.
I've often wondered if Johnson instinc-
tively hoped to repeat the Roosevelt
reer: domestic reform, followed by the
triumphant prosecution of a war. Poor
man! He was doomed from the begin-
ning. After Kennedy, he was the wrong
age, the wrong class. from the wrong re
gion. І always thought the fact that he
wasn't a bogus Whig nobleman was a
point in his favor—but his public man.
ner gave offense, and 1 could never
derstand why, since his sort of folksy
hypocrisy is the national style. But per-
haps that was why: The people recog-
nized themselves in him and recoiled, He
was the snake-oil salesman, just as Nixon
is the Midwestern realtor, gravely intent
upon selling us that nice acre of develop-
ment land called Shady Elms that turns
out to be a swamp. We're used to these
types and prefer something grander as
our chief of state, a superior con m:
preferably of patrician origin, who
disguise With noble phrases who and
what we are; to euphemize, that is the
Presidential task. God knows they all do
it Take Latin America, In that sad
continent, we support a wide range of
military dictatorships that our Presidents,
invariably, refer to as necessary links in
the bright chain of freedom with which
we are manacling the world, In our way,
we are as predatory as the Russians, and
every bit as maniacal in our confusing—
and debasing—o[ language: Free means
ге, democratic means oligarchic, lib-
erated means slaughtered. А fine pair
of superpowers, suitable for history's
wastebasket!
PLAYBOY: Do you think the various supe
power confrontations in Asia or the
Middle East might lead to a nuch
showdown that would end just that w.
VIDAL: It certainly would seem so,
though 1 personally see the last struggle
for men's minds, the ultimate blow for
freedom, struck in Latin America, with
us confronting the Soviet in the harbor
of Rio de Janeiro, while the Chinese
hover in nearby Montevideo. Brazil is
much too important to lose, the way we
os" China. Finders keepers, as they
say. But since I'd like to see the world’s
people survive the destruction of these
two political systems, 1 don't look. with
much pleasure on what will probabl
be a war only а few survive, their genes
significantly altered by radiation. Tt could
very well be that intense atomic radi
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PLAYBOY
se the remaining human sur-
vivors to mutate, to change biologically.
"There is now a theory that the various
radical changes that have occurred on
earth—the extinction of dinosaurs, the evo-
lution of man from ape—were the result
of shifts in the magnetic pole that mo-
ily removed our usual outer en
һ to be exposed
то intense Bur to strike а
cheerful note— is my constant de-
sire to make happy my fellow gibbons
the handful of survivors of an atomic
war would be so irradiated that their.
ollspring. though perhaps rather odd-
looking. might make possible the next
great twist in that biological spiral that
has brought us from amoeba to Spiro
Agnew. I find the thought of a dramatic
change in our physical and intellectual
structure most exciting. Certainly we've
е about as far as we can with these
ugly, weak boc lorned with feathery
tentacles and soft. protuberances; as for
our minds—well, the less said about
those primitive instruments. the better
PLAYBOY: То get back to politic——
VIDAL: A subject I've yet to stray from.
Shaw said that the only topics worthy of
am adults attention were politics and
ion, both in the largest sense.
PLAYBOY: Do you believe it matters mud
who the President is? You seen
to take the Spenglerian view that indi-
vidual men don't really alfect history.
VIDAL: A good ruler in a falling time
falls, too, while a bad
national ascendancy rises. That
long view. But, men certainly
events. In physics, there is no action
without reaction. Therefore, any act
matters. And that is why the only moral
life is to act whatever one does is of
great moment. Though the American
empire may be collapsing and попе can
stop its fall, І would still rather have
seen McCarthy ау President than Nixon
or Humphrey. Yet even in McCarthy
case, one cannot be certain how effective
he might've been. I suppose the most we
сап demand of а conventional President
is that he have some understanding of
what is going on and a willingness to
confide in us. Johnson was а compulsive
ather like Roosevelt, but without
леге High Episcopal charm.
Worse, Johnson did not, does not and
never will understand the nature of the
American. empir its consequences to
us and to tlie wor
might c:
ment
velope
about
ndicated in his
that he understood
trial complex,
Eisenhower? He
rewell speech
the mil
which many people now
tes our foreign. policy.
Eisenhower understood the m
tary-industrial complex better than any
other min for the simple reason that he
was its chairman of the board for eight
years and а loyal branch manager before
that. What is puzzling is that he decided
to bring up the subject just as he was
ry-indus-
VIDAL
retiring. Ва
know? All
a master politic
1 conscience? Who will ever
inating man, and
n. Гуе heard а good
deal about him over the years: My father
t West Point a few years alter
Eisenhower and they shared mam friends.
a fact, Eisenhowers doctor, General
Snyder, delivered me some 43 yews ago
in the cadet hospital at West Point,
when a маг shone over the Hudson
Palisades, and shepherds quaked.
Eisenhower's career demonstrated how
it is possible to fool all the people all the
time. He was a highly imelligent, cold-
'ooded. careerist who was determined—
much like a Stendhal hero—to rise to
the top, and did. "I may be stupid," he
а press conference, "hi
least I'm sincere!” Actually, he was nei
ther, but it suited his purpose to play
the part of the bumbling man of good
will who was "not an expert in these
matters? but somehow would do his best.
‘The people loved the performance aud,
of course, The Smile. Intimates report
that until the great promotion, he was a
gloomy, scowling officer who was m
lousty transformed when he arrived in
nd where, sid an adm
he learned to sm
The proof of his political genius is
that he left the White House almost as
popular as when he entered it. His se-
cre? He never committed himself to any
cause or to any person. All that mattered
the single-minded conserving of his
own popularity. I once asked Gener:
Snyder if he thought Eisenhower would
i ively for Nixon in 1960. He
others was never his weakn
ws
Nor d of selfishness à bad
quality other Gen-
лей in а simi-
lar way. But then, army staffs are the
same everywhere, and those who rise to
the top, particularly in peacetime, are
usually master politici yzantine
ci It is true that a lifetime spent
in the military hierarchy makes one to-
tally unfit to respond to the needs of a
n population, but that is
problem. Even so, had
less lazy
us, he regarded the Presidency as a ki
of brevet rank, a sign of the nation's
gratitude, involving no fixed duties to
disturb his golf game.
PLAYBOY: You. in dorcign affairs, Eis:
hower managed to keep the pe:
effectively than his two Democratic pred-
ecessors.
VIDAL: Political generals hate real wars.
That is an axiom. Or, as the laundry-
minded General Powers says in Visit to a
Small Planet, “IL there is one thing that
destroys an army's morale and discipline,
i jor war. Everything goes to hell,
iore damned sheets and pillow-
cases" Although John Foster Dulles
pursued what seemed to be a militant for
cign policy, full of massive retaliations,
agonizing reappraisals and calls for cap-
tive nations to throw off the Red yoke,
in actual fact, Dulles was just another
"good American": that is to say. а sponta-
cous hypocrite who was able to sty one
thing, mean another
genuinely be ind if he was thought
inconsistent. or сеге. While Dulles
spouted Scripture to the heathens, Fisen-
hower resolved to do nothing—and I must
say, those years look. positively golden in
retrospea. A State Department f
mine once gave
subject wa
where it looked as if one of our military
juntas was about to be replaced by a libe
al non-Communist regime. Johnson
distraught. "What, what." he cried,
To which one of his advisors
ust be suppressed. though
his wisdom ought to be carved over the
White House door—replied, “Mr. Presi-
dent. why not do nothing?" "That was the
nhower genius, When come such
Or has one come already?
PLAYBOY: You feel it better for our Prosi-
dents to do nothing, yet your Authoi
would do everything.
vipat: Let us say that,
probably better for conve
d do a third, vet
cians to do as little as possible, since
ad
their actions tend to make worse what
ever it is they're dealing with. Even Fise
hower managed to begin the Vietnam
war by not following his normal instinct
of staying out of mischief. In his memoirs,
he tells us why we didnt honor the
Geneva accords and hold elections in
tnam: because some 80 percent of the
e vored for Ho Chi
This is very candid. The son of
ht have found in Stalin's
memoirs, had he not made ghosts even of
ghosts. But at least Eisenhower did not
commit the troops. That was for K
to do, acting on the best mili
e. Eisenhower at |
generals are not warriors but bureau-
is, dreaming of expanded T, Os, pro-
motions, graft—all things that small wars
e possible. Getting back to your
question, the Authority would be activist,
Minh
thing one m
"y
knew that
in those areas of crisis that conventional
politicians refuse to face
PLAYBOY: Do vou think that under your
Authority. the average citizen would find
himself more or less happy?
VIDAL: Моге. Alter all, he would be de-
nied only one “pleasure”—the un
thorized bringing into society of а new
citizen, Otherwise, he would be freer in
his private life than he is now. At p
ent, nearly every form of sexual activity
i ise is forbidden him by laws
that vary in their medie
dary cunnilinguist in California di
covered when he was sent to Alcatraz for
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PLAYBOY
92
an act of extreme—indeed. positively
Christian—unselfishness performed upon
his legal mate. Of the countries of the
West, the United States is the only one
to have m as such.
Though thes
they still exist—a joy for blackmailers,
particularly those who are entrusted with
the power to enforce them: the police.
One of the reasons for the great rise in
crime in recent years is that most police
departments ате more concerned with
cracking down on prostitutes, gamblers
and homosexualists than they are with
what should be their proper function:
the protection of life and property. The
Authority would make it very clear that
morals are not the business of the state.
Tf a woman can get 5100 from а man for
giving him an hours pleasure, more
power to them both, She is a free agent
under the Authority and so is he. In any
case, she is no worse than the childless
fe who insists upon alimony once a
marriage ends.
"That various ге
ious establishments
kinds of bel
or sin-
ss, not the state's. Nor
n
will that Baptist. minister or Christi
brother be allowed to impose his prim
live superstitions upon a secular society,
unlike the past—and even the present—
when whatever the churches thought to
be sin was promptly made illegal by state
legislatures: whiskey, gambling, sex. The
result has been a society of peculiar cor-
ruption im which the police, more than
any other group, have been literally de-
moralized. The Authority would guar-
мес everyone the right to do as he
pleases, as long as his activities are not
harmful to the general welfar
PLAYBOY: And who will interpret “the
general welfare"?
VIDAL: The Authority. I don't think it
will be a particularly difficult task. Take
cigarette smoking. Cigarettes kill and
cripple many of those who smoke them.
That is a fact. Yet cii te advertise
are allowed to spend millions of dollars a
year to convince young people that cig
теце smoking is a glamorous, status
enhancing thing to do—and so the young
are hooked early and made addicts. I
think this sort of advertising is against
the general welfare and should be for-
Iden. After all, the survival of the race
is slightly more important than the mar-
ket listing of the Ameri "Tobacco
Company. But since the Authority gu
antees personal freedom, anyone who
wants to smoke сап. He will be duly
warned on the cigarette package, how
s to the lethal dangers of smoking.
turally, I realize it will be difficult to
convince the average American of the
ty of this. From childhood we
have been taught that whatever makes
money must be good. Further, whatever
is expensively and ingeniously advertised
ble and worthy. And, of course,
to the consumer Amcrican, immorality
means just one thing: sex. I suspect we
in for a drastic uphea
overdue revision of the nation's etl
standards, and that would be the Au-
thority's work.
PLAYBOY: Could it succeed?
VIDAL: Why not? The worst sort of dicta-
torships now have the means to mainta
themselves im power as a result of ad.
vanced communicat 5o why nor use
those s ans toward good ends?
The preserving of the human race. the
hammering out of a new code of ethics.
PLAYBOY: Would your Authority legalize
pow?
wat: Certainly. In the private spher
everyone has а perfect right to kill him-
self in any way he chooses—gin, cig:
ettes, heroin, а bullet through the head.
As Т said before, it is not for the state to
decide whether or not he is to live or
die, what he to eat, drink, smoke,
make love to. Obviously, it would be
inconvenient if everyone decided to
drunk or stoned; but the point is, cvery-
the Wolf-
опе won't. І remember wh
enden Report first
nd proposed that homosex:
tween consenting adults be m
"There was an enormous outcry.
by supply would be endangered, the
bric of society disrupted, the streets
crowded with young men selling thei
bodies. There was a marvelously insane
premise at work here: И homosexu
legal, heterosexuality would wither
A state of affairs t not even
the most militant pederast has ever
dreamed of. Since England finally made
ever consenting adults choose
to do, not only has the oversupply of
babies continued, as usual, but there has
been no noticeable decline in heterosex-
ual relationships.
In the debate before the laws were
changed, however, one heard the tribal
voices loud and clear, calling to us from
the Stone Age, when our lives were short
па our natural enemies m; and, to
protect the tribe, it was a duty to breed.
Now, 50.000 ye т, the tribal mind
is still programed in the same way: Make
as many babies as possible and try to
any sort of behavior that
might curtail the supply, Yet we live
with daily evidence that the human race
ne out ii
is committing suicide through overpopu-
lation. This sort of doub'e-think is usual
with us. A perfect examp!e was the astro-
ut who saw fit to read to us from the
moon a barbarous re.igious test, d
proved by the very fact it was being read
from the moon,
PLAYBOY: Do you foresee a dr
if everyone is free to turn on in any
way he pleases?
VIDAL: We a drug culture alr
Sleeping pills, aspirins, the nightcap th:
too olen becomes an Indian war bon-
net. Ideally, reality should be so interest-
ag that we don't need tranquilizers and
stimulants. But since there ате too many
culture
people in the world and not enough for
them to do—certainly very little that is
interesting—the American majority serve
their 40 hours a week in order to stun
themselves with beer, television, whatever,
come the weekend. Fewer people with
more interesting things to do is as good
n aim as any for a soci
PLAYBOY: Do you spe
with drugs?
VIDAL: Yes, and mostly from unplea
experience. M а has по effect on
me, possibly because I've never smoked
cigarettes. But I've tried hashish and
mescaline and found the results phy
ly depressing. One attempt to
opium made me ill. But I'm fortunate;
my life is sufficiently interesting to make
me want to keep alert what senses I
have. That's why I gave up whiskey two
years ago and now drink only wine, a
slower and more graceful way of height-
ening and then pleasantly losing reality.
But if 1 had to choose between the ag-
gressive drunk who smashes up a car and
the passive marijuana smoker who bores
me to death ty, Td take the pot-
head any day. Incidentally, those who
oppose drugs because they breed crime
should realize that if all drugs were
made legal s
be done under the
would be no criminal trafficking
and, hence, no desperate hophi
mitting murders in order to get
for the next fix
р:
noney
ely. this
solution is much too intelligent for our
people ever to accept. Punishing others
is one of the great pleasures of the tribe,
not casily relinquished.
PLAYBOY: What ncw horizons do you fore-
see for that oth. t tribal. pleasure,
sex? Under the Authority, do you be-
licve the trend would be toward the type
of polymorphous transsexuality you ex-
alted in Myra Breckinridge?
VIDAL: I exalted neither Myra пог her
views. But J do think that if we survive
long enough to evolve a rational society,
there will be a trend toward Бехи.
For one thing, bisexuality
ply. more interesting than monosexu:
ity. And we are bisexual by mature. The
tribe, however, has done its best to legis-
late our behavior, and this has done an
enormous amount of damage. Homosex
ual behin ural as heterosexual
behavior. That it is not the norm is
irrelevant. Bluc eves not the norm in
Mexico. If we really insisted that every-
one try to conform to that sexual activity
that is most practiced at any given. mo-
t, then we should have to ad that
the statistical norm is neither hetero- nor
homosexual but onanistic. Myra found
group sexuality int ‚ and so do 1
Tt was something our pre-Christian ances
tors recognized as a part of man's reli-
gious lile, as well as a means of pleasure.
PLAYBOY: So far, you've ned more than
$1,000,000 from Myra——almost as much as
cqueline Su n and Harold Robbins
have ma
de from the sexy soap operas
you satirize in your book. Some critics
have charged that you have emulated
and exploited that which you purport to
condemn. Is there any validity to that?
VibAL Te is quite иие that Myra has
earned me a great deal of money. If I
were to sav that I had written it in order
to make money, I would be immediately
understood and absolved of every si
But at the risk of shocking everyone, 1
must point out that if 1 wanted to use
g for making money, I would have
sctled in Hollywood long ago and
bought a chain of Encino supermarkets
I write to make art and change sactery.
That 1 do either is certainly arguable,
but money is not an interest
PLAYBOY: Your late father reportedly told
you that with Myra Breckinridge you
had gone “too far.” How did you answer
h
viar: My father did wonder if. perhaps
I had gone too far, to which I replied
that only by constant skirmishing on the
ntier are new territories opened up.
Being an inventor and an aviation pio
neer, hesaw the point to that. Twenty-one
years ago, The City and the Pillar acted
much larger scandal than Myra. Now
fully alluded to as a delicate,
sensitive book. The scandal of 148 has
become the worthy book of 1969. But the
judgments of those who write Гог news-
papers are generally worthless, becius
journalists ше paid to ipate and
exploit the moral pre judices of their read-
ers. H you want to know what ihe stu-
members of the tribe are thinking,
d the Chicago Tribune or the
York Dui) News. Their attitudes reflect
every sort of ancient superstition and bear
no relevance to the world we live in.
That's why 1 enjoy the various undo
ground newspapers. They are dizzy and
often dullwitted, but they reflect the
living aspeeis of our civilizatioi op-
posed to our tribalism, which is decadent
nd hopefully. dying.
PLAYBOY: Newsweek charges that Mysa
By ‘becomes, in the end, a kind
of erotic propagate” Гог homosexu:
Is this true —and, if so, is it intentic
VIDAL: Mira. favors anything that would
limit population, but there is consider
able evidence that she dislikes homosex
тїйє
uality. Why else would she have become
а woman and fallen in love with Mary
Ann? Ci ly her depressing reporis
on the activities of Myron. her
n hardly be called ero
Despite her temporary. vi
Myra was never strict;
as a messiah,
anything goes. she maintained, as long
as it doesn't further crowd the world
PLAYBOY: In Oscar Wilde's day, homosex-
wality was known as "the love that dare
not speak its name," but today it has
become, in Mike Nichols’ words, "the
vice that won't shut up." Do you consid-
er the growing candor of homosexual
1 homophile organizations
a healthy sign, or the price one pays for
social progress?
VIDAL: I'm in favor of any form of sexual
relationship that gives pleasure to those
And
I have never heard a
convincing ent to the contrary.
Our. problem is semantic. Tribalisis have
ight us to view male and female homo-
sexuality as а form of disease, instead of
what it is: a term used to describe not
personality but a specific sexual act.
Properly speaking, the word is an adjec-
tive and ought not to be used as a noun
at all. To say that Richard Nixon
heterosexu
about him as a politician or even—
nating thought—as a lover. Since there is
no such thing as a heterosexual personal-
ity, there сап be no such thing as a
homosexual. personality—though it's cer
tainly true that homosexualists often de-
velop a rich variety of neuroses as a
result of persecution; but then, хо do Ne
involved.
groes. Jews and—in some cules
women. In any сазе, to try to alter the
sexual nature of an adu at
and hopcless—business. Unfortunately
it is also a very profitable one for quacks
like the late Dr. Bergler.
PLAYBOY: The charge was recently made
by Ram paris magazine and critic Stanley
g others, that а homo-
coterie—the "Homintern
melodramaticilly term it—has а strat
hold on American culture and advance:
own values, and the fortunes of its fellows,
the expense of the heterosexual artist.
Do you believe there's any substance to
As lar as I know, there exist
no protocols of Sodom. All that matters
п the arts is excellenc
sex life of the а
work must be judged as a thing
Do Saul Be lows hererosexual. preoccu-
pations undermine his considerable ап?
The question sounds silly, because it is
silly. True art is rooted in the common
human condition.
PLAYBOY: After your first two novels, Iil-
liwaw and Ina Yellow Wood, you were
ied. with Truman Capote. Norma
nd John Horne Burns, as one of
e brightest ary lights of the post-
War ста. But in 1948, your third book,
The City and the Pillay, created a literary
scandal. as you pointed ош. because of
5 explicit account of a young man's
homosexual disintegration, and you
abruptly consigned to literary lim-
emotional effect did this
ve
ortunately, even at 22. I thought
that what mattered most was not the
world’s view of me but my view of the
world, and so I survived. Others did not
—like Burns, the best of u War novel-
ists.” After the press attacked his. Lucifer
with а Book—in much the same way as
they ed The City and the Pillar—
Burns fled to Europe and deliberately
drank himself to death at 36. One must
be very tough to endure as a writer in
America, Since Гуе endured for almost a
quarter century, I must be tough.
PLAYBOY: You wrote once th
sense, Im not an ‘Ame
whole attack—my wit
tasteful to Americans.” Would you elab-
te?
VIDAL: Wit and irony are distasteful to
Americans, who believe that 10 be seri-
ous is to be solemn. This is not only a
hangover from our Puritan beginnings
but also a stage through which second-
and sometimes third-generation Amer
cans go as they try to make their own the
language and the customs of a country
still somewhat alien to them but to
whose Ila 1 prejudices they feel they
оме а passionate commitment. In absorb-
i new culture, the ironies are the last.
thing to be noted, and those who in-
dutge in them are the first to be con-
demned.
PLAYBOY: You
8
Ж
have wi TI
yard of stillborn talents which con-
ms «o much of the brief ignoble history
of American letters is a tribute to the
power of a democracy to destroy its crit-
ics, brave fools and passionate men.”
How is this done?
vivat: De Tocqueville predicted that a
society organized like ours would prove
to be hostile to the original man. He
believed that a terror of publ'c opinion
ic of democ-
те not truly а democracy
have we entirely fulfilled De
grim proznosis—but no
t we are not resourceful
уз of dealing with dissidents.
n them into show business cha
The clum-
ns of Paul Goodman, the
shrill d of Dwight MacDonald.
the visceral rhetoric of Norman Mailer
re al! rendered small by television, by
ine profiles and—yes!—by imer-
ss. But that is no reason to stop.
Something is bound to break eventually
—other than one's self or art.
PLAYBOY: You have admitted that, as а
young writer, your “competitive in-
stina” were very intense and you deeply
resented the success of other м re
these competitive instincts still strong—
€ you mellowed over the ye
VIDAL: Does one mellow or does one rot?
The two processes are perhaps the same,
Unlike most writers, my competitive
nstinct—though highly developed —dwas
never personal. "That yy 1 have
never begrudged another writer his
cess, but I have sometimes deplored the
taste of the moment th s made wha
I thought bad work successful. Happi
since injustice is the rule, one is quite
apt to be its beneficiary as its victim,
PLAYBOY: You have characterized Norman
Mailers The Naked and the Dead а
“a dever, talented, admirably executed
fake” and said of his subsequent work,
We tu
ters, not to be taken seriousl
sy exhortat
`
Ts.
93
Thomas Jefferson spent years
trying to brew a great beer.
If wed come to America sooner,
we could have saved him a lot of trouble.
At Monticello, new kind of beer came Today, Schaefer is still
Thomas Jefferson had his along. A beer that was unique. With flavor that
own private brewery. far lighter. And brighter. never fades. Glass after
But, like all the other Because it was aged, or glass after glass.
beers of the early 1800's, 1адегей, far longer. Maybe Jefferson couldn’t
the beer he brewed was The beer was Schaefer discover a truly great beer.
dark. And cloudy. lager beer. And it was But you will. When you
Then, in 1842, a whole entirely unique. discover Schaefer.
when you're
having more
Т than one
PLAYBOY
96
"pam
а novelist
iot sure, finally, that he should be
I, or even a writer, despite
formidable gifts. He is too much of a
demagog.” Are the roles of writer and
demagog really mutually exclusive?
VIDAL I think in the ten years since T
wrote that piece, Mailer has borne me
out: He lias almost ceased to be а novel-
ist and has become a superb journalist,
with himself as subject, pluckily taking
on the various occupants of the Amer
can pantheon, from
Pentagon. Yet to be
be more worthy than a pere of the
highest order, particularly one with a
messianic desire to change soc
may
time, but we cer
PLAYBOY: l i
сега of wr
nly
1 con-
American letters?
VIDAL: Yes and no. In the Thirtic:
ers were much involved w
there has always been a
view of the serious, dedicated
being a sort of divine idiot
liam Faulkner mumbling he was just a
farmer and didn’t know much about
them things. For most of the country’s
history, our serious—as well as our sol-
ters were terrified of being
thought politically engaged. For one
thing, few of them knew much about
politics, ideas or even the actual every-
day life of the country. For another, in
century, they were much attracted to
the Flaubert-Joyce-Eliot sacerdotal tradi-
tion: the writer as holy man, too pure
for the agora. This attitude was useful
to Flaubert, who was not all
th; . but I don't think it has
done M cr much good. Of
course, if political novels mean Alle
Drury and social engagement means Dal-
ton Trumbo—in other words, artless
work—then one сап see why the ambi
tious writer would steer clear of that sor
of co or genre. He would be
mistake, however; much of th
ag hus been passionate and
ad most of the worst, in our
time, private and proud—those dread
exercises, usually taking place on cam-
pus, where last summer's adultery turns
nmiunen
g
best wri
worldly,
out to have be a reenactment ol
А!сезих.
PLAYBOY: You acted оп your
concern in perhaps the most d
lc in 1960 by running for Congress
v York's 290. Congressional. Dis-
t. Do you still have political ambi-
„ despite your defeat?
VIDAL: No. But in that election, T took
some pleasure in carrying the cities of
Poughkeepsie, Beacon, Hudson and King-
ston, and getting the most votes of an
s. Two years later,
1 the nomination for
we against. Javits, I was then
lı the sort of choice that seems
10 have haunted me all my Ше. I I were
to be a serious politician. it was quite
plain that І could not be a serious wi
er. Not only is there not enough energy
for the two carcer, they аге incompati-
Ме. The writer is forever trying to sa
exactly wl he means and the politici;
is forever uying to avoid saying what he
- In 1962, I had returned to novel
le's absenci
and so the specific choice for me tha
was between writing Julian a
ing a race for the
novelist. In 1964,
lor Congress, For the last
nd with very lide
t watched the man I had selected to
take my place win the election in the
Johnson landslide.
Also, to be practical, if one wishes to
influence events, the Congress is hardly
the place to do an
audience has more power most
Congressmen. If he is also able to use
television, he is in a splendid position to
say what id. Best of all,
anting nothing for himself, he is more
pt to be listened to th: who
lusts for office. But no m:
to rationalize my situation, I am split
between а te and а public self. 1
d
пе. 1 chose to
I was asked once
was tr m childhood to be a poli-
tician, but I was born a writer. From
time to time, I have tried to bring to-
gether the two selves, but it has not been
‚ something every
politician longs to possess and few d
yet I am compelled to candor of a kind
that ble in a conventional
politician. So 1 constantly undo myself,
making impossible that golden age. the
Vidal Admini on. No doubt just as
well For пм
PLAYBOY. Looking
you've writte
your career,
Sometimes I
How?
speaking ironically. I simply
meant that by doing all the things I do,
T have avoided being taken scriously by
idemics. I don't
known category. so the un
make judgment. But, slowly, it is begin-
ning to seep down that there may be
neone quite different on the scene
whose career can eventually be made а
touchstone for others. Not that what 1
what | do will ever be very
attractive—or easy to imitate. Mailer is
more in the main tradition than I; any
young man who wants to be a writer can
m than with
p м who
sold out and took it hard:
ny P jor can Tive out
thal legend. But cach of us is what he is,
and the only sin is to pretend to be what
one is not.
am or
iler nor Capote nor myself
riters of very different
gifts—came into his own until he found
his proper voice. M
ler spent y
cles masterpieces, and
trying to write
the time of that time was disastrous for
him. Capote was not quite so ambitious
—or literary. He simply wanted to be
famous through writing, and so he copied
the works of writers who were currently
in fashion. He plundered Carson. Mc-
Cullers for Other. Voices, Other
Rooms,
abducted Isherwood’s Sally Bowles for
Breakfast at Tiffany's: in short, was ruth-
lesly ned to
reportage those
without creative i nd began
other words.
id that is
to do interesting work. 1
he'd found his own voice,
ng is all about.
PLAYBOY: Reviewing yo
writer, do vou think vou've re;
VIDAL: 1 have sometimes wondered. what
would have happened if, in 1954—hav-
ng just published The Judgment of
Pars amd Messiah, iwo books that T
u mong my best—1 had had the
money 10 continue writing novels. But
those books failed and I was forced to do
other things; contrary to legend. I have
no income: I've supported myself since I
was 17. And so, from 1954 to 1964. T
worked in theater, television, movies,
criticism and politics. It was a very inter-
esting time and I dont in the least
t
regret it. Nevertheless, with Julian, I had
to begin all over а But had I spent
those ten years after Messiah just writing
novels, [ sometimes wonder what the
result would have been.
PLAYBOY: You seem to feel that in Mail-
er's and Capote's case, the novel wasn't
really for them. Perhaps it’s not for you
either.
VIDAL: Perl
»s it's not for anyone. It is
certainly no longer the regnant art form.
Films occupy the attention of the young.
The day of the important audience for
the riovelist is past—and before anyone
writes in to say what a large audience
the Book-of-the-Month Club. nd
look at all those paperbacks.” may I say,
having had three best sellers in a
tha very small. percentage of the
country reads novels, and that
age is declining. Twemy years ago. there
was great excitement when a new book
by Hemin or Faulkner was pub.
hed. 7 there is little general i
i s new novel, outside of
the world of publish: where best sell
ers continue to be qufactured in a
dispirited, mechanical way
PLAYBOY. One of best
your Julian. ig it did you dis-
cover any similarities between Rome's
decline and fall and contemporary Ameri-
сап soc
VIDAL: No. But some of the problems the
book poses are relevant to both t
For instance, Christianity, with its hatred
of the flesh, was repulsive to the civilized
(concluded on page 27
row,
only
percent-
tho: sellers was
In wri
WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY?
He's upbeat and upward bound. А man who puts his money to work today for a life of ease tomor-
row. Facts: PLAYBOY brings you a giant market of securities-minded men—3,733,000 readers
under 50 who own stocks, bonds or mutual funds; 2,779,000 who have purchased securities in the
past two years. And they invest well. One out of two men in the U. S. under 50 with securities currently
valued over $50,000 is a PLAYBOY reader, a capital investment for you. (Source: 1968 Simmons.)
New York + Chicago - Detroit - Los Angeles - San Francisco - Atlante - London - Tokyo
98
fiction By RAY BRADBURY | some boys don't dream of grow-
ing up to be president— they dream of pulling the trigger
DOWNWIND FROM GETTYSBURG =
AT 1015 THAT монт. he heard the
sharp crack from the theater down
the hall.
Backfire, he thought. No. Gun.
A moment later, he heard the
great lift and drop of voices, like
an ocean surprised by a landfall
that stopped it dead. A door
banged. Feet ran.
An usher burst through his of-
fice door, glanced swiftly about,
asif blind, his face pale, his mouth
trying words that would not come.
"Lincoln . . . Lincoln.
Bayes glanced up from hi 5 s desk.
"What about Lincoln?"
"He... he's been shol
“Good joke. Now——"
"Shot. Don't you understand?
Shot. Really shot. For the second
time, shot!"
The usher wandered out, hold-
ing to the wall
Bayes felt himself rise. “Oh. for
Christ——*
And he was tunning and passed
the usher, who, feeling him pass,
began to run with him.
“No, no," said Bayes. “It didn't
happen. It didn't. It couldn't. It
didnt, couldnt. . . .”
"Shot," said the usher.
As they made the corridor turn,
the theater doors exploded wide
and a crowd that had turned mob
shouted or yelled or screamed
or, stunned, simply said, "Where
is he?" "There!" "Is that him?"
"Who did it?" "He did?
old him!" "Watch out!"
"Stop!"
Two security guards stumbled
into view, pushed, pulled, twisted
now this way and that, and be-
tween them a man who struggled
to heave back from the bodies, the
grasping hands and now the up-
flung and downfallen fists. People
snatched, pecked, pummeled, beat
at him with packages or frail sun
parasols that splintered like kites
in a great storm. Women turned in
dazed circles seeking lost friends.
whimpering. Men, crying out,
shoved them aside to squirm
through to the center of the push
and thrust and backward-pump-
ing guards and the assaulted man,
who now masked his cut face
with splayed fingers.
"Oh. God, God." Bayes froze,
beginning to believe. He stared
upon the scene. Then he sprang
forward. "This way! Back inside!
Clear off! Here! Here!"
And somehow the mob was
breached, a door cracked wide
to shove flesh through, then
slammed.
Outside, the mob hammered,
threatening damnations and
scourges unheard of by living
men. The whole theater structure
quaked with their muted wails,
cries and estimates of doom.
Bayes stared a long moment at
ILLUSTRATION BY JAMES HILL
PLAYBOY
100
the shaken and twisted doorknobs, the
chattering locks, then over to the guards
nd the man slumped between them.
Bayes leaped back suddenly, as if an
even fresher truth had exploded there in
the aisle.
Dimly, he felt his left shoe kick some-
ng that spun, skitte: like a rat
chasing its tail, along the carpeti
торе, find the still half-warm
pistol, wi but disbelieved,
backed down the aisle. It was a full half
minute before he forced himself to turn
and face the inevitable stage and that
figure in the center of the stage.
сон sat in his carved
his head bent forward.
an unfamiliar angle. Eyes flexed wide,
he gazed upon nothing. His large hands
rested gently on the chair arms, as if he
might momentarily shift weight, rise and
declare this sad emergency at an end.
Moving as under a tide of cold water,
Bayes mounted the steps.
“Lights, damn it G
light:
Somewhere, an unseen technician re-
membered what switches were for, A
kind of dawn grew in the dim place.
Bayes, on the platform, circled the
occupant of the chair and stopped.
Yes. There it was. A neat buller hole at
the base of the skull, behind the left ear.
“Sic semper tyrannis," a voice mur-
mured somewhere.
Bayes jerked his head up.
The assassin, seated now in the last
row of the theater, face down but sens-
ng Bayes’ preoccupation with Lincoln,
spoke to the floor, to himself
“si”
He stopped. For there w:
stir above him. One security g
flew up, as if the man had noth
with ii
its way down to sil
“Stop!” said Bayes.
The fist paused halfway, then. with-
drew to be nursed by the guard with
mixtures of anger and frustration.
None, thought Bayes, I believe none
of it. Not that man, not the guards and
not . . . he turned to in the
bullet hole in the skull of the slain
leader.
From the hole, a slow trickle of ma-
chinery oil dripped.
From Mr. Lincoln's mouth, а simi
slow juid moved down
over the chin and whiskers to rain drop
by drop upon and shirt.
Bayes knelt and put his car to the
figure's chest.
Faintly within there was the whine
and hum of wheels, cogs and circuitries
still intact but malfunctioning.
For some reason, this sound reared
him to his fect in alarm.
“Phipps ... 1?"
е ns more
ng to do
The fist, urgent to itself, was on
nce the killer when:
аг
on of
exud
The guards blinked with incompre-
hension.
s snapped his fingers. “Is Phipps
coming in tonight? Oh, God, he mustn't
see this! Head him oll! Tell him
there's ап emergency, yes, emergency ас
the machine plant in Glendale! Move!
One of the guards hurried out the
door
And watching him run, Bayes thought,
se, God, keep Phipps home, keep h
Strange, at such a time, not your own
lile but the lives of others flashed by.
Remember . . . that day five years
past, when Phipps first slung his blue
prints, his paintings, his water colors out
on a table and announced his grand
plan? And how they had all stared at the
plans and then up at him and gasped:
Lincoln?
Yes! Phipps had laughed like a fa-
ther just come from a church where
some sweet high vision in some strange
ciation had promised him a most
peculiar so
Lincoln. That was the id
born again.
And Phipps? He would both engender
and nurture this fabulous ever-teady
giant robot child.
Wouldn't it be fine . . . if we could
stand in the meadow fields of Gettysburg,
listen. learn. see, hone the edge of our
zor souls
Bayes circled the slumped figure in the
chair and, circling, numbered the days
and remembered years.
Phipps, holding up a cocktail glass one
night, like a lens that simultancously
proportions out the light of che past and
the illumination of the future:
*] have always wanted to do a film on
Gettysburg and the vast crowd there and
far away out at the edge of that sun-
drowsed impatient lost thick crowd, a
farmer and his son trying so hard to
hear, not hearing, trying to catch the
wind-blown words from the tall speaker
there on the distant stand, that. gaunt
man in the stovepipe hat who now takes
oll hat, looks into it as into his soul
rummaged the on scribbled lener
backs and begins to speak.
“And this farmer, in order to get his
son up out of the crush, why. he hefts
the boy up to sit upon his shoulders.
There the boy, nine. years old, a frail
encumbrance, becomes ears to the man,
for the man indeed cannot hear nor sec
but only guess what the President is
speaking far across а sca of people th
at Gettysburg and the President ice is
high and drifts now clear, now gone,
seized and dispersed by contesting breeze
and wind. And there have been too
лу speakers before him and the crowd.
all crumpled wool and sweat, all mind-
less stockyard squirm and jostled elbow,
and the farmer talks up to his son on hr
should whisper; What?
And the boy, tilting hi
Lincoln
c
m
sin
What's he хау;
yearning
head, leaning his peach-fuzz ear to the
d, replies:
"Fourscor
es?"
nd seven years:
“'—ago our fathers brought forth
s, yes!
“on this continent ES
"Eh?
“Continent! A new nation. conceived
in liberty, and dedicated to the propo-
sition that. all men art
“And so it goes, the wind leaning
against the frail words, the far man ut
tering, the farmer never tiring of his
burden of son and the son, obedient
cupping and catching and telling it all
down in a fierce good whisper and the
father hearing the broken bits and some
parts missing and some whole but all
fine somehow to the end. . . .
““. . . ol the people, by the people,
for the people . . .
+... shall not perish from the carth.’
"The boy stops whispering.
“Tr is done.
And the crowd disperses in the four
directions. And Gettysburg is history.
nd for a long time the father can
not bring himself to ease his translator-
of-the-wind down to set him on the
carth, but the boy, changed, comes down
at last.
Bayes sat looking at Phipps.
Phipps slugged down his drink, sud.
denly chagrined at his own expansive-
ness, then snorted:
ГИ never make that film. But I w
And that was the moment he pulled
forth and unfolded the blueprints of the
Phipps Eveready Salem, Illinois, and
Springfield Ghost Machine, the Lincoln
mechanical, the electro-oil-lubricited plas
tic India-rubber perfect-motioned and
outspoken dream.
Phipps and his born-full-tallat-birth
Lincoln, Lincoln. Summoned live from
the grave of technology, fathered by a
romantic, drawn by need, Маррей to life
by small lightnings, given voice by an
unknown actor, to be placed, there to
live forever, in this larsouthwest. comer
of oldnew America! Lincoln and Phipps!
“We must stand, all of us, downwind
from Gettysburg. It’s the only hearing
place.”
And he shared out his pride among
them. To this man he gave armat
to that, the skeleton; another must trap
the ouijasspirit voice and sounding word:
yet others must
ir and fingerpr
touch must be bo
ie!
Derision then was their style of 1
Abe woukl never really speak, they
knew that, nor move. It would all be
summed and written off with taxes as а
loss.
But as the months lengthened into
(continued on page 110)
row the pre
Yes, even Lincoln
vowed, copied, the
us sl
re doing?
хасу
«See Uie ld man at the comer
c you buy your papers? He may
ave a silencerequipped: pistol un-
ias gun. What айош your
Arsenic works slow but
а cyanide
m
These patriots are not going to 1а,
зей. take their freedom ашау from
them. hey have learned the silent
Khije, the strangler's cord, tlie tinget
тийс; that hits sparrows at 200 yards.
Only their leaders restrain them.
Traitors hewaye! Even now the cross
hairs ате on the back of your necks,”
MULTILITH LEVTER, bordered in
К and headed “In Memoriam,"
dressed to a small group of
liberal Congressmen who had voted
to deny appropriations ro the House
Comm n American. Acivi
ties for the fiscal year 1904-1965. It
was one of thousands ‘run off by
triots accusing HUAC's foes
ш and abetting “the interna
tional Communist conspiracy"; but
few of the letter’s recipients were
inclined 10 dismiss it as the work of
tee on t
paramilitary org:
x extremists heavily armed a
tion. One Congressman
on the Minutemen bate list, Repre-
sentative Henry. Gonzalez of Texas,
100k the threat seriously enough. to
torney General Robert
urge then?
cle By ERIC NORDEN
т his -coaj. -That extra. Jountam,
ет an the pocket of the* insurance
salesmanthat calls on you might be z
т au(omobile meckanic may ,
AME А booby ran.
Kennt
рагипе!
шешеп. ,
"ef recent
ó "I håve be
Lis 30
By recent. de-
velopments, Gonzalez expla
he meant the assassination
Чу. А week later,
Gonzalez formally urged the War-
‘Yen Commission, then initiating
‘probe Of ue Presidents death, to
nation, Attorney General. Kennedy
replied that he could find, no proof
the Minutemen had viol
Federa
quently, nó action the Department
оГ Justice’ could take, “unless there
is sufficient evidence to establish
that these acts are beyond the pro-
arcas of speech, pres and
assembly guarantees of the F
Amendment то the Constitution
Kennedy's position failed to mollify
Minuteman) “maximum” leader
Robert Bolivar DePugh, who charged
that the Attorney. General had, in
fact, been covertly harassing the or
Г. Robert
nything и
ganization. since 1961
Kennedy: can't. find
we've done illegal," said DePugh, *
certainly is not because he
L" DePugh subsequently
Kennedy “the most dangerous trai
tor im American public Ше.
Despite their early public
as gun-happy buv relatively]
kooks—"the first. World War Three
buffs, as one observer dubbed them
=the Minutemen: in recent y
have evinced a tendency to transl
their threats into action. Senator J
THE
PARAMILITARY
RIGHT
those paranoid patriots
—the minutemen—plot
to save america by
ue Le thein
ned ioa ~
=
PLAYBO
William Fulbright, the bête noire of the
ultraright ever since his exposure o
neral Edwin A, Walkers indoctrin:
of his troops with Birchite prop:
adit in 1901, has received hundreds of
Min
s from
ers. In
side his pen
rille, The plor to
was the brain child of “Jolin Morris.” the
nom de guerre of a Dallas Minuteman
activist and form er lor George
Lincoln Rockwell's American Nazi Party,
who was convinced that the systematic
juidation of lea berals
the coi огге the oppo-
able the paramilitary right
rol of the Government."
amber of fellow
Min n Kansas City that Ful
bright would make an ideal first. victim
\ former aide io DePugh, Jerry Milion
Brooks nicknamed “the Rabbi” because
of his virulent ms that
could
“pur
sition
10
during one of his speaking tours in Ar
kansas, One Kansas City Mi
up the money for Mo
loaned him а 1952 Buick to get to Little
Rod. A Texas man was supposed to
hive a private plane and fly him out of
the state after Fulbright was zapped.
According 10 Brooks, “Morris pur
chased a rifle with a telescopic sight: but
on the day he was to depart for Little
Rock, news of the plot leaked to De
Pugh. who blew his top. At this stage, he
was still preaching his principle of delib-
erate delay, which means all the empha-
^d propaganda and
stockpiling arms, so you don't zap any
body till the outfits. ready to function
fully underground. DePugh met. Morris
on а bridge in Lexington, Missouri, and
told him he had to call oll the plan
because, succeeded. or f.
all that would happen was that the a
thorities would be sicked onto the Min
memen. DePugh made it clear th
Morris went ahead, he'd be the
who'd end up six feet under. The poor
guy panicked and it out 10 Okla-
he 3
sis is on recruit
whether
one
beat
DePugh ha
was ever a serions pl
life, but admits having "talked" with
Morris. “The whole thing was blown up
out of all. proportion,” he asserts, add.
ing: "But Just because Tve exercised. а
restraining influence in the рам, 1
doen't mean FI always do so. Tl
is no aa doo brutal or illegal for us
ke if it will help save this country
from communism—including assi
tion. Thorell be a lot of dead sobs
belore this fight is over."
Minuteman wrath is nor
“subversive” tors. In
Мини
wh
10
restricted to
the fall of
men, led by a
Ж
n's politi
sel as a loca
of ihe organizari al
ına arm, the Patriotic Party, hatched a plot
to assassinate Stanley Marcus, millionaire
owner of ihe Neiman-Marcus depan-
ment store and one ol the city's few
outspoken liberals, An informer prese
planning sessions told journalist
п W. Turner, an. ex-EBI. agent
pers intended to ambush Marcus
e of his out-of-town ice "an
ps. si
assination in Dallas would be too
much.” Once more, however, DePugh sot
wind of the plot and aboried it at the
last moment.
А more grandiose and
Minuteman effort was the
introduce cyanide pas
ming system of the N
Building during а Ge Assembly ses-
sion. Minuteman defector Brooks claims
that ihe plan was initially approved by
DePugh, who then developed cold feet
and backed out. "He got the idea at our
other a
ions
training session im Independence, Mis
souri, in rhe summer of says
Brooks. "A bunch of us sitting
around in а bull session and. somebody
wondered how you could wipe out every-
body in the UN all at once, and опе of
the guys suggested mortars. but 1 said.
"No, even with a direct hit, you'd only
гар а few, despite those glass walls” And
then Bob [DePugh] siis to me, ‘Do you
think you could get hold of a
nide?’ He asked me because 1 was work
ing for an extermination outfit at the
time, and D said. "Sure, as much as you
want’ So he told me 10 get him some,
d T bought twenty gallons and took it
ack to headquarters. Some of it went out
to ken Goll [the Reverend Kenneth Goll,
leader of an alfiliated p i
the Soldiers of the Cros] an
1 we'd keep the rest for the UN
He told me he'd select one of our New
пу cya
York guys to put it imo the air-condi
tioning ducts, and 1 found out kiter
they'd picked а membe h the
New York state police and whe could
use his credentials to get. into the UN
basement. Bur then Bob decided h
wanted то wait, and some of the guys
who'd
t,
шеп all excited about the ide
were really pissed off and decided to go
ahead on their ow
This activist
ti De-
Pugh's eed. the суа
nide and prepared to act independently
in defiance of DePugh's instructions. Ac
ıo political historian. Geor
yer, who scrutinized the Minutemen
closely in his book The Farther Shores of
Politics: “Del аз were outraged
at this developm
faction. ch
oderation,” sec
h lovali
t and made plans 10
shoor the ^s leader in а room lined
with butcher. paper. To obliterate any
trace of the crime, the bloody paper was
to be burned, the body buried in a deep
grave somewhere in Missouri and the
gun smehed down, Both the plot and
rplor fell apart when the
s got wind of t d stepped into
tid
coi thor
i
the pict
Brooks, who blew the whistle on
the
cya
ide plor in Kansas Citv's U. S. Dis
nia Court during DePugh’s trial. dor
violation of the National. Firearms Aci
—and who is now hiding out in the
Alaskan undra do escape bis former
des! reiribition—bcelieves that the
ng their time for a
fresh attack on the UN. with or wite
cyanide gas. “That place is a symbol of
everthing they hate.” he explained to a
“Vhey're bound 10 take an
ack at it someday.’
Real or im aed Ci
com
Minutemen arc. bid
munis in
terrorist
t years. In the predawn
October 30, 1966, 19 heavily arn
шешеп, divided imo three bands, were
intercepted by staked.out. police (tipped
by an FBI informant) as they zeroed
in on leftwing camps in a threestare
rea. Targets of the coordinated. forays
were Camp Webatuck at Wingdale, New
York. where fire bombs with detonators
had already been set i
place; Camp
Midvale in New Jersey: and а pacifist
community at Voluntown. Connecticut.
established by the New England Com
mittee for Nonviolent Action. According
to Queens district attorney Nat Hemel
who helped coordinate the roundup
Minutemen, disguised as бип
ed to bum the camps to the gron
along with their inhabitant, А
police official added. "E don't know what
they thought they were
plish, bur they had plenty of hardwi
ible 10 get the job done.
As the Minutemen were being herded
imo custody, raids on secret munitions
and basement arms caches by
y and city police ollicers
senal of Minuteman
1.000.000 rounds of rille
munition. chemicals
ng bomb detonators, consid:
io c Sinduding 30
al shortwave sets tuned
bunkers
neued a
comba
to police bands—125 single shor
villes. 10 dyn:
12 30-caliber machi
m
bombs, 5
guns, 25
g. throwing
1 bazooka. 3 gre
d grenades and 50
meter monar shells. For good
there was even a crossbow re
plete with curare-tipped arrows.
Wrested in the roundup was the man
nortan,
pistols, 240. knives. (huntis
nd machete),
de launchers, O lı
measure
Disirii Atiorney Hemel identified as the
Fast Coast coordinator of the Minute
nen: Milton Kellogg, a wealthy Upstate
busines Poli meed 1 1
Es Iwo homes. in Syracuse
they һай confiscaied —
I hypodermic needles. 6
syringes, 4 handguns, 1 rifles, 2 shotgun
gunpowder and 5000 rounds of amn
tîon—files disclosing, that the extent ol
Minuremen activities in the New York
New England area was far greater than
local authorities had hitheno suspected,
(continued on page 146)
that long-haired whippie is now a movie marqu a flesh-colored film
based on the 18th century's classic eroticist and his kinky pastimes
© KIND of sensation is keener or n
active than that of pain,” wrote Ce
Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade. who
chose to call himself the Marquis de Sude
“hi is simply а matter of jangling all ou
nerves with the most violent possible
shock." Born in 1740 to titled. parents
then educated in the spirit of the liber
tine by his uncle, a profligate Beneilic
tine abbot, the Marquis cime to believe
in the right of the individual to abuse
and exploit any privilege. without regard
to moral or legal restrictions. "Crime is
the soul of lust,” he hypothesized. "lt is
not the object of debauchery that excites
us but, rather, the idea of evil” Conse
quently, from 1763 to the French Revo
lution. his Ше was plagued by an almost
uninterrupted series of arrests, prosecu
tions and incarcerations for ойе
ranging from logging and sodomy to
aphrodisiac poisoning. His bizarre co
pulsions also inspired the seduction of his
wife's sister and а number of household
orgies with а bisexual harem of servants
While in prison 1782. he turned
10 writing, lor want of other diversions
the wildly imaginative sexual atrocities
that fil his works ave testimony to his
bestial appetites. “Every man wants to
be а yam when he fornicate.” he
claimed. But while he favored all forms
of personal violence, he was repelled by
the impersonal mass cruelty of the Reve:
lution. Ironically. ir was not his sen
sational sexuality but his criticisms of
Napoleon that finally confined him to an
asylum in 1803, where he remained un
til his death in ISH. Now, in De Sade
an American International film starving
Keir Dulles, director Су Endheld offers
а surrealistic chronicle of the personal
excesses and public disgraces of the man
who gave sadism a bad name: his own
In Richard Motheson's original screenplay, reality and illusion fight for control of Sode's deranged mind—represented cinematically through
impressionistic fantasies. In prison, he is tortured by a hallucination (opposite, top) of his sister inlaw, Anne (Senta Berger), being seduced
by his uncle, the dissipated abbot (John Huston). The scene is an agonizing parody of ће Marquis’ own carnal cravings for her (opposite, center)
In another bizarre episode iobove), he relives an orgy in his baronial home with a mole secretary (Rolf Eden! and four cooperative house:
maids—a riot of sexual vandalism that climaxes in his wife's bedroom. Recalling an almost legendary orgiastic exploit (sequences below),
the Marquis is surrounded by costumed prostitutes and midgets—whipping ond then begging to be whipped by the company to whom he
has proffered condy treated with Spanish fly. This outrageous incident in Marseilles in 1772 resulted in the death penalty for poisoning
and sodomy; though the sentence wos overruled in 1778, he was returned to jail again that same year for yet another sexual offense
Sade's grotesque recallections also include a Rabelaisian ramp in a theater (cbove), where the arnately attired and revealingly unaired
guests gorge themselves on the myriad pleasures of libertinage. Scenes of the Marquis in one of his tamer brothel escapades reveal his
Peculiar fandness for strawberry jam (above, center), as well os his awn unique version of blindman’s buff (below, left) and some rather
untidy but exuberant drinking habits. When other, more violent goings on were reported to the gendormes, the luckless Morquis was not
only arrested ond imprisoned but barred from the nation’s brothels for топу years by official edict. While his woy-out proclivities never
equaled the abuses recounted in his copious writings, the screen life of the infomous Sade more thon justifies his claim to erotic notoriety.
PLAYBOY
no
DOWNWIND FROM GETTYSBURG
cries of hi
years. their ou
accepting smiles and st
They were a gang of boys caught up in
some furtive | ply joyous mor-
Iuary society who met midnights in n
ble vaults to disperse through. graves
ds
T
The Lincoln Resurrection Brigade
prospered. Instead of. one mad. fool, a
dozen. maniacs fell to villing old mummy
dust news files, begging and then pillering
death masks, burying and then digging
p new plistic bones.
Se toured the Civil War battlefields
| hopes that history, borne on some
morning wind, might whip their coats
like flags. Some prowled the October
fields of Salem, starched brown with
rewell summer. snilhing airs, pricking
cars, alert for some lank lawyers un-
ixious for echoes, plead
recorded voice.
ig their case.
And пове more anxious nor paternal
proud worrying than Phipps until the
mouth when the robot was spread out on
delivery tables, there to be ball-and-sod
cied, voice box locked in. rubber eyelids
peeled back to sink therein the decp sad
eyes ıl ad seen too much.
The e appended ti
might hear time lost. The large.
knuckled hands were hung like pendu-
lums to guess that time. And then upo
1 man’s nakedness they shucked on
suiting, buttoned buttons, fixed his tie,
gathering of tailors, no, disciples now on
а bright and glorious Easter morn,
And in the last hour of the Там day
Phipps had locked them all out as he
finished the final touches on the recum-
bent flesh and s d at last opened
the door and, not literally, no, but in
some metaphoric sense, asked them 10
hoist him onto their shoulders а last
tme.
Amd in silence watched as Phipps
called across the old battlefield and be
ig the tomb was not his place:
irit
youd, say
arise.
And Lincoln, deep in his cool Spring-
field marbled keep. turned in his shim-
bers and dreamed himself awake.
And rose up.
And spoke.
A phone rang.
jes fell away.
heater phone on one far stage
Oh, God, he thought, d
“Bayes? This is
nd told me to
Said. something about
ioi
The
I buzzed
К
ran to lift the phone.
Phipps. Buck just called
there!
ove
gel
L
“You know Buck.
Must have called from the nearest bar
Tm here thi
line. One of the generators acted up. We
just finished repairs
He's all vight. then?
етупи
n the
(continued from page 100)
"He's gr He could not take his
eyes off the slumped body. Oh, Christ
Oh, God. Absurd.
coming over.
"No, don't!"
why
ve you shouting?”
his tongue, took a deep
breath, shut his eyes so he could not see
the thing in the chair and said, slowly
Phipps, l'm not shouting. There. The
lights just came back on. I can't keep the
crowd wi to You—
“You've Lying.”
“Phipps!”
But Phipps had hung up
{ utes, thought B
Oh, God, he'll be here in te
Ten minutes before the n
brought Lincoln out of the g
the man who put him back in.
He moved. A mad impulse
wish to run backstage, start the tapes, see
how much of the Fallen creature would
motivate, which limbs jerk, which lie
numb. Mor i for that
norrow.
wildly.
minutes.
ayes
n who
уе meets
[
There was only i ow for
mystery.
And the mystery was enclosed in the
an who sat in the third seat over in the
last row back from the stage.
Th wwin—he was an assassin,
wasn't he? The assassin, what did he
look like?
He had seen his face, some few mo
ments ago, hadn't he? And wasn't it a
face from an old, a familiar, a faded and
putaway daguerreotype? Was there a
full Were
ошм. eyes?
Slowly Bayes stepped down from the
stage. Slowly he moved up the aisle and
stopped. looking in at that man with his
head bent into clutching fingers.
Bayes inhaled, then slowly exhaled
question in two words:
“Mr. 2 Booth
The
then shudder
whisper:
mustache? there dark and
still
terrible
y m;
d let forth
ned
"Үе..."
Bayes waited. Then he dared
“Mr. .. - John Wilkes Booth?”
To this the assassin laughed. quietly
agh faded into a kind of dry
rman Llewellyn Boot
tn: the s
Thank God, thought E
have stood the other.
Bayes spun and p.
- Only the
nc is-
e.
yes. 1 couldn't
No time. Phipps was on the freeway
Any moment, he'd be hammering at the
Bayes spoke rigidly to the theater
wall directly in front of hi
Why?”
And it wa
Чоо
echo of the alfrighted
had sat there not
1 jumped to terror
300 people wh
cried. Booth.
Bayes. in the sime
“Too good a chance to miss
“What!” Bayes w
Nothing.”
You don't dare say that a
"Because," said Booth, head down
hid, now light, now dark, jerking
into ond ош of emotions he only sensed
as al t roe, faded with
hier and then silenc
its the auth.”
whispered, stroking h
1 actually did it”
yes had to keep walking up.
the aisles, circling, айай! to мор
id he might rush and strike and keep
on striking this kill
Booth saw this and said:
“What are you waiting for? Get it
over."
“1 will not" Bayes forced his yell
down to a st Imness. “I will not be
есине 1 killed а m:
all
to figure a н who kills
because a humanoid computer was sh
lity
“Pity,” mourned the man
Booth: and, saying it, the light w
of his face
“Talk,” said Bayes
named
wing throw
wall, 4 the night roads, Phipps
in his car and time running out. “You've
got five minutes, maybe more, maybe
1
1 you're a
less. Why did you do it, why 5
somewhere. Start with the fa
d w
ly
ited
(d
He waited, The security gi
nd h, creaking une:
bel
ard, yes,” said Booth, “How did
you know?"
s me. AL
said Booth. "Th
c it. Things. People.
Places. Afraid. People 1 wanted to hit
but never bit. Things 1 always wanted
never had. Places 1 wanted to go, never
went, Always wanted to be big, famous
why That didn't work, So.
1 thought, if you can't find. something
to be glad about, find something to be
sad. Lots of ways to enjoy being sid. Why?
Who knows? E just had to find something
awful to do and then cry about what I
had done. ‘That way, you felt you had
accomplished something. So. I set out to
do someth
now her.
“You've succeeded.
Booth gazed dow his hands hung
between his knees as il they hell an old
“Hey, it's bad luck to see your bride just before the ceremony."
11
PLAYBOY
12
дену remembered and simple
pon
“Did you ever kill a turtle?”
What?
"When I was ten, 1 found out about
death. 1 found out that the turtle, that
big dumb rocklike thing, was going to
live long after 1 was dead. 1 figured if I
had to go, the turtle went first. So 1 took
а brick and hit him on the back until I
broke his shell and he died.
Bayes slowed in his constant. pacing
and said, "For the same reason, 1 once
let a butterlly live.
No." said Booth, quickly, then added,
"no. Not for the same reason. A butter-
fly lit on my hand once. The butterfly
opened and shut its wings, just resting
there. I knew I could crush it. But T
n't, because I knew t ten min-
utes or an hour, some bird would eat it.
So 1 let it just fly away. But turtles?!
They lie around back yards and live
forever. So 1 went and got a brick and I
was sorry for mouths after. Maybe I still
am. Look. i
His hands trembled before him.
And what," all this
to do with your being here tonight?”
“Do? What?" cried Booth, looking at
if ke were mad. “Haven't you
been listening? Do? Here? Great God, I'm
jealous! Jealous of anything that works
right, anything thats perfect, anything
that's b ul all to itself, anything that
e what it is! Jealous!
“You can't be jealous of machines."
"Why not, damn it?” Booth clutched
the back of the seat in front of him and
slowly pulled himself forward, staring at
the slumped figure in that high-backed
chair in the center of the stage. "Aren't
machines more perfect, ninety-nine times
out of a ed, than most people
you've ever known? I mean really? Don't
they do things right? How many people
can you name do things right one third,
one half the time? "That damned thing
up there, that machine, not only looks
perfection but speaks and acts реест
Чоп. More, if you keep it oiled and
wound and fixed, it'll be looking, speak
ng, acting right and grand and beautiful
a hundred, two hundred years after I'm
in the earth! Jealous? Damn right 1
am!
"But a mach
4
hund
ne doesn't know what it
1 know. | feel!" said Booth. “I'm
outside it looking in. I'm always outside
ws like that, I've never been in. The
hine has it. I don't. h was built to
do опе or two things exactly on the nose
No matter how much I learned ог knew
or d the rest of my life, no matter
what I did, I could never be as perfect,
ıs fine, as madde s deserving ol
destruction ng up there, that
man, that t ure, that Presi
ает"
Не was on his feet
stage BÜ feet away
1 nothing. Machinery oil
. on the floor under
now, shouting at
President," murmured Booth, as
if he had come upon the real truth at
. Yes. Lincoln. Don't
you se Jong time apo. He
can't be alive. He just can’t be. Из not
right. A hundred years аро and yet here
he is. He was shot once, buried once, yet
here he is going on and on and on.
Tomorrow and the day after that and
all the days. So, his name being Lincoln
and mine Booth . . . | just had to
come. 2
His voice
over.
aded. His eyes had glazed
Sit down
Booth sat,
said Bayes, quietly.
and Bayes nodded to the
. "Wait outside,
When the guard was gone and there
was only Booth and himself and the quiet
ig waiting up there in the chair, Bayes
turned t lust and looked at the
assassi words carefully
and said:
"Good but not good enough."
"What?
“You lI the reasons why
you came here tonight."
You just think you have. You're kid-
ding yourself. MI romantics do. One way
or the other. Phipps when he invented
this machine. You when you destroyed it.
But it all comes down to this, Very plain
and very simple, you'd love to have your
picture in the papers, wouldn't you
Booth did not answer, but his shoul
der straightened. imperceptibly
"Like to be seen coast
ne covers?"
to coast on
No.
Get free time on TV?"
"No."
“Be inter
Ni
Like to have trials and. lawyers
'wed on radio?
rgu-
ing whether а mau can be tried for
proxy murder — 7"
“No!
“That is, attacking, shooting a human-
oid machine”
No!
Bayes waited. Booth was breathing fast
now, i and ош, in and out, his eyes
face. Bayes let more
ndred. million
you
мі month, next
talking about
hg, next week, n
people
tomorrow
the comer of Воо
mouth. He must have felt it. He r
1
d to touch it a
true real
es lor a
“Fine to sell your perso
story to ional syndi
fine chun!
Sweat moved down Booth's face and
itched in his palms
"Shall I give you the
questions I have just asked
Bayes wai
more push
tions, mor
Well."
swer to all the
? Eh? Eh?
а. Booth waited for m
p. more driving, more ques
shouts.
id Bayes.
"The
answer
rapped on a far theater door
Bayes jumped. Booth turned to stare
The knock came, louder.
es, this is Phipps! Let me in
a voice cried outside in the night.
Hammering, pounding, then. silence.
Booth and each
like conspir
"Let me ‚ Christ, let me in!
More үсе а crazy drum and
tattoo, then silence again, the man out
side panting, circling, pe
another ent
“Wher
other
J" said Bayes
ked:
Do you get worldwide TV-radio-hlm-
newspaper gossip-broadcast pub-
Booth held his breath.
“No,” said Bayes.
Bootlrs mouth broke open but stayed
silent.
N." Bayes spelled it simply, "O."
He reached in, found Booths wall
snapped out all the identity cards and
handed the empty wallet back.
No?" asked Booth, stunned.
Booth. No pictures. No
No col-
umns, No papers, No advertisement, No
glory. No fame. No fun, No self-pity. No
resignation. No immortality. No nonsense
about tiumphing over the dehumaniza
tion of man by machines. No martyrdom
No respite from your own mediocrity. No
splendid sull No maudlin tears. No
renunciation of possible futures. No trial
No lawyer. No analysts speechir
up this month, this year. thirty
sixty years, ninety years after, no stories
with double spreads, no
Booth rose а rope had hauled
him tall and stretched him gauni and
"No, Mr.
y you
your,
ү. no.
pas
"I don't understand. 1——
"You went to all this trouble? Yes.
And Pm ruining U me. For, when all
is said done, Mr. Booth, all the
reasons md all the sums summed,
you're sheen that never was, And
you're going to stay that way, spoiled
and marisistic and small and mem
and rotten. You're a short man and 1
miend to squash and squeeze and. press
and batter you an inch shorter instead
of forcegrowing you, helping, you gloat
nine feet tall.”
You can't)
cried Booth.
(concluded on page 241)
THE GRAND HOTELS
WHEN 1 me, I should like to do so in the
foyer of the best hotel in the w
one thing, 1 feel most confident in hotel
foyers; and for another, disposing of my
corpse would be a final test for the hall
porter. I have always been
hotels—about people, тоо. 1 suppos
but that need not concern us. For me,
the best hotel in whatever place I hap-
реп to be is a must. Ensconced in any
other establishment, 1 tend to sulk
Once, on a steamer to Сарп. 1 was
examining the luggage tags of опе of the
most beautiful girls 1 have eve
snob about
хе
he
t hotel from the
I decided there and
to stay
where she Yet it not the
child's bı prompted my
but the obvious wealth of her con
jon. He was, I decided, an Indian prince
ling and, as such, could be relied upon
When we landed. 1 followed hard on
шег heels. up the mountain to Ana
capri and through the revolving doors ol
igri-La. only to be dismissed by
obdurate reception clerk. Forced to
when I discovered to my dismay th
bound for a differ
¢ 1 had selected
n to adjust my
stayed.
not one to suffer lightly the
bitter with the suite, our
globular globe girdler raps
on the myriad pleasures and
occasional pitfalls of the
worlds best caravansaries
article By ROBERT MORLEY
return to the hotel of my original choice.
Г spent my holiday in jealous despair.
Each new hotel has for me the excite
ment of an untried mistress, | am impi-
tient with the p laris, eager to
register and afterward to rid myself of
the atten ns of the bellhop who has
preceded me with my key along the
corridor and unlocked my room. I watch
him demonstr heating,
the coset light, vision. remote
controls, and long for the moment when
he will withdraw and leave me in posses
sion. 1 know from experience it will be
considera
time before my luggage
arrives; and meanwhile, my room and I
will be getting t0 know each other. As
soon as the bellhop collects his fee and
withdraws, 1 hurry into the bathroom to
spect the plumbing, to admire the
tumblers wrapped in cellophane and th
lavatory pan decorated as if for a mar-
riage. Is there a bidet? How large arc
the soap bi How many towels? 1
listen to the noise of the toilet flush,
make sure I understand how the lavatory
taps function. These grow more compli
cated with every year. I hurry back imo
the bedroom to inspect the thickness of
the drapes. the pile of the carpet. I
adjust the lights, toy with the television.
take in the view. ‘This is the moment of
truth, and E must ask myself whether this
is really the best bedroom I can expect
—for the price. Am I on the right side of
the building at the right height? Do I
want to look out over the swimming
pool or the garage? Now is the time for
action, if I decide to ch. T must pick
up the phone and demand to be con-
nected with the desk clerk: get into the
poker game amd be prepared, il neves-
have him call my blut. My
sary, to
из
PLAYBOY
114
decision as to whether to accept the
commodation proffered ог to
mprove on my hand depends
dy
nd
gely on the ambiance 1 have al
countered at the reception desk. 1 can
пу
usually tell whether 1 am being given
the bunrs 1 day, 1 will
small back room over the dusil
ı penthouse suite is
another, eve
quate, Having decided to stay ри
то explore the closets, paying
attention to the way the doors
writing paper, read the breakfast menu
and the other brochures provided. I like
to know that I can write letters on all
there
cereals, bars and re
ready to sample Grape-Nuts Flakes, to
plan an evening in their Sapphire Room
or the House of Genji. to have a cocktail
in the Eagles Nest or the Imperial. Vik-
ng, a nightcap in Nero's Nook. 1 avoid
believing that
en the trouble to find а
re, he may also have
taken the trouble to find а decent chef.
1 have always believed in myself as a
world jurist where hotels are concerned.
L still hope that even now, in the after
noon, the early afternoon, of my life, 1
may be invited to serve. How pleasant it
would be to travel the world in the
company of a few others like myself,
ampling the delights of extravagances
provided by great hoteliers and to award
the annual Alerts "There would have
to bc several, naturally: for the hotel
that had the best wine cellar, the hotel
with the best plumbing, the one with the
best hall porter, the best hotel built in
the past year, the hotel with the most
beautiful setting, or simply the most beau-
tiful hotel. If actresses are entitled to Os-
is, why not hotels? The latter аге more
exciting, more unpredictable and, with
notable exceptions, better behaved. More-
over, hotels, except those in the very top
class, have to show oll. | am never intim
dated by ostentation: being in the enter
tainment business myself, 1 understand it.
Once, while staying at а hotel in Fez
where the uniforms of the staff were the
most magnificent 1 have ever encoun-
tered, 1 approached a lackey even more
gorgeously auired thin the bellboys,
ined 10 be the hall porter,
and made some trivial request about
procuring a fleet of camels for the after-
noon. "I think you are making a mis
if а man has t
name, however bi:
take," remarked my accosted. "I have the
honor to be the personal aide«decamp to
His Majesty the King of Libya." I shook
him warmly by the hand but did not
apologize. In selecting what are, in my
opinion, the seven great hotels of the
world, I am tempted to indude this
beautiful Moroccan caravansary; but
things have changed in Morocco since 1
was there; besides, a simultaneous. visit
of myself and the King of Libya may
have ensured an unnatural and tempo-
rary standard of excellence. An ev
more potent reason for not including it
in my list is that I have forgotten. its
in favor of the Roberts
Award Committee, when it is formed,
arriving anywhere incognito. Let us sce
the best you can do—not the worst—
should be our admonition. Personally, 1
m careful, when arriving at any hotel
where I suspect I may ally, at least.
—be unrecognized, 10 employ a games-
manship ploy of which I and not Ste-
Potter am the inventor. “I think,
rk casually, leaning across the
ception desk and addressing the clerk,
"you may be expecting me. My secretary
has made the reservation: Robert Mor-
ley." I speak the last two words slowly
and loudly. The impression | wish to
give is that I am far too modest to
believe that my name will mean any-
thing to him; and if, as sometimes hap-
pens, the idiot hasn't, in fact, heard of
me, he will begin to check his list.
Nothing here," he will remark after he
has done so. I take care to appear thun-
derstruck. "Are you quite certain? My
scaetary has been with me a number ol
years and this is the first time anything
like this has happened.”
After this, I play it by ear. I, as
sometimes, there is plenty of accommoda-
tion available, I like to believe thar 1
will be offered something a little better
than would have been the case if I had
not established that I had a secretary. If
the hotel is full, well, the reception clerk
may feel a little uneasy and manage to
find me а niche, providing that 1 am not
traveling with my mother-in-law, Dame
Gladys Coope
We were in Las Vegas together the last
time I employed my gambit and had the
clerk on the ropes and about to produce
the accommodation. Suddenly, Gladys
spoke. "You know perlectly wall, Robert,
you haven't reserved anything. You are
only confusing the poor young mi
and, in any cas, 1 don't want to stay
here. 1 am sure we shall be much hap-
pier in that nice motel next door." That
would have been the end of that, except
that the nice motel next door was full
and we were obliged to crawl back ten
minutes later. "Another time, perhaps
you'll leave it to me," I told her, survey-
ing the inadequate accommodation. with
which I had eventually been provided.
Another time,” replied Gladys, "I will
have ту seaetary handle the reserva-
tions. We stand а better chance. with
her; at least she exists!"
The re fed to
serve on the Roberts Committee is that I
have a nose for good restaurants. Put me
down anywhere in a strange city and,
like truffle hound straining at the
leash, I will lead my party to the most
delectable morsels. Where hotels are con-
cerned, my perception is equally uncanr
son I am so well qu
Halla-dozen steps across the threshold
ond I can tell whether a hotel is fully
adjusted. If not, then 1 prefer to put my
polo sticks back into the boot of the
Rolls-Royce and drive on. However im-
posing the façade, splendid the foyer,
exuavagant the furnishing, gorgeously
costumed the bellboys and luxurious the
beds, unless a hotel is "adjusted," neither
you nor I will be happy there. In a
restaurant, опе can return. the beef Stro-
апо to the chef with a courteous re-
quest that he try again and, while he is
doing so, continue to toy with the caviar.
The meal can be salvaged. But there is
nothing to be done with a hotel that is
Ш adjusted except pack and leave. It
won't be difficult for you to do so carly
on your first morning, because the cham-
bermaid will already have made an en
trance, or at least knocked loudly on your
door, demanding to know if you rang.
She does this to ensure that you will not
oversicep and fail to give her а chance to
do your room when it suits her fancy. In
on illadjusted hotel, you will not be
able to enjoy breakfast in bed. If you
persevere with the telephone, you vill
eventually be able to contact room serv-
ice; but, having done so, you will be well
advised to allow for the inevitable time
Jag and order Juncheon. ‘The last time 1
sayed at a hotel in New York, I was
amazed to find the breakfast t being
trundled to my bedside a bare 20 min-
utes after D had put down the phone.
“This can't possibly be my breakfast," I
told the waiter. “I ordered it under
hour ago.” The waiter shrugged 1
shoulders sympathetically and started. to
wheel the individually gathered, sun-
drenched blueberries with pasteurized
double cream and thin hot cakes out of
the door and back along the corridor.
After a struggle, I regained possession.
“Finders keepers!" I told him.
The best room service in the world is
enjoyed by guests of the Westminster
Hotel in Le Touquet-Paris-Plage. There,
опе can reach out and press the bell push
ably decorated with a picture of a
er) and, within two minutes, the
breakfast tray is resting lightly on one's
stomach. The Westminster i: I have
noted, а supreme example of efficiency in
this respect; but all over Europe, unlike
the U.S. A., there are hotels that expect
their guests to order breakfast around п
o'clock and are pre i
in five minutes of their having done so.
"The simple secret is to have а kitchen on
each floor; it is а secret that, except. in
rare instances, you Americans have not yet
discovered.
For my money, and I a good
deal of it is required whenever 1 am
а guest there, the greatest hotel in
the world is the Ritz in Paris. It is really
two hotels, опе situated in the Place
Vendome and the other in the Rue Cam-
bon. 1 have never quite understood. the
(continued on page 122
adm
attire By ROBERT L. GREEN
inis year's long hor
ми sports and able
bodied shoremen cooling
it in see-worthy beach
garb. Such bold
styles as tank-type опе
piece suits and
vertical striped
dahigh trunks. by Oleg
assini lor Sea Mark.
512 (shown below),
are making fresh fashion
mer will find water wise
waves. Broad self-pattern
or solid-color web belis
keep the suit not the
wearer—up tight. From
Malibu to Miami Beach,
aprés-sea aquaneats are
donning pullover caftans.
velour shirts and raja robes,
In short, its a buyer's
market for the sand-and
sun хело deep-six ou-
dated duds and hit the
beach in high style.
fresh ideas for making
а fashion splash
af pool or beach
Clockwise from opposite poge,
top: Attentive wader likes
а colton ond stretch-nylon
terry tank suit with a zip
front, by McGregor, $25.
Brawny mon prefers
floral-patterned cotton
trunks, by Brentwood, $6.
Sportive sun bather keeps
his monekinied mermaid
close at hand while basking
їп horizontal-striped
stretch-nylon: mid-thigh
trunks, by Brentwood, $12
Poolside player relaxes in a
cotton terry jacket,
by Jones, $22, worn
with terry knit trunks, by
McGregor, $7. Great
outdoorsman goes for stretch-
nylon knit below-the-knee
trunks, by Himalaya, $7.
Romontically entwined chap
wears stretch-Lastex. belted
trunks, by Oleg Cassini
for Sea Mark, $12
Below: Dashing young
beochnik, with his date in
tow, is turned on by
a multicolor striped
cotton velour
hooded санап with
а rawhide neck closure,
by Oleg Cassini
for Sea Mark, $75. Above
center: Stylish overseer
keeps casual in striped
cotton duck beach pants, by
Poul Ressler, $7.
Below center: Cool, clearly
contemporary fellow
in see-through choir
wears а cotton knit
tank top, $5, over stretch-
nylon knit horizontal
striped trunks, $7, both
by Cotalino-Mertin. Opposite
page: Fashion man of leisure
cottons to a Roman-
striped full-length raja
robe with bution front, by
Alexander Shields, $50.
‘Kuowa ay) dn роу 1,изәор 11
sp Buoj sv ‘xas pramuaid
ynm Buom Sunpjou s a434 yp,
PLAYBOY
122
GRAND HOTELS
geography of this beautiful building. To
walk from the Place Vendóme to the
Rue Cambon takes me at least five min-
utes and I have to cross several streets in
order to do so: and yet if I make the
ime journey through the Ritz itself,
along the elegant arcade, with its show-
cases pli With diamonds and brode-
ric anglaise, | am there in half the time.
А simple explanation occur to the
reader—one way is circuitous, the other
direct—but what happens to the streets?
They certainly don't run through the
Ritz itself; indeed, in the center of the
hotel, there are only а number of mys-
terious secret gardens, gravel-pathed and
silent, 1 haven't the least idea how many
bedrooms there are in the Ritz, only that
in proportion to its size, there are very
few. lı is the extravagance of the build-
ing that attracts me; I do not care for
hotels that conserve space. I do not ap-
prove of batteries for hens or humans.
I am essentially a Rue Cambon man
myself. although I often enter the hotel
from the Place Vendome and admire the
1 foyer, peopled at teatime by clabo-
rately bewigged archduchesses and ex-
jonarchs waiting with well-bred boredom
for their cucumber sandwiches. In the
evening, a small string orchestra plays in
the restaurant and an indescribable and
ssuring melancholy hangs in the air.
‘The diners have, for the most part, eaten
all the caviar they are ever likely to active-
ly enjoy on this carth, but the spoon still
travels to the mouth loaded with the litle
black grains and returns stained to the
plate.
In the Espadon, which is the restau
t on my side of the hotel, the pace is
together brisker is caen, but
on toast. There is no vast entrance hall
nd a comparatively narrow passage
ds from the Rue Cambon up а short
flight of steps to the reception desk im-
mediately opposite the hall porter’s. Far-
ther on, where the passage ends and the
glass doors of the Espadon open invit-
ingly, is a small foyer usually cluttered
with tables overflowing, from the restau-
int, and with French windows opening
onto one of the gardens where, on sum-
mer evenings. it is also possible to dine.
But it is with its bedrooms t the
Ritz really sores. The timeless elegance
of the furnishings, the gilt and the glit-
ter. the huge wardrobes, the small sofas,
the brass bedsteads—and the golden
docks. 1 can never look at the last
without a twinge ol conscience; for once,
long ago, I stopped all the clocks in the
Riz by yanking out a wire from one
my daughter's bed when she com-
ned the ticking was too loud and kept
ГИ won fix that,” 1 told her.
and Т did. The trouble was that the next
£, по one would believe I was the
prit. In vain, I telephoned the hall
porter to confess my guilt. "Impossible,
(continued from page 114)
to blame" he
ching for the
the same in all the rooms
“At least,” 1 begged him.
“send someone up to my suite to investi
." "Useless, cher monsieur," he pr
tested, “the fault is with the elecuicity
supply. Our engineers are in conference
h the minister.” In the end, 1 climbed
onto a chair and poked the wire back into
its socket. At once, my clock. like all the
others in the Ritz that morning, started
again. But, for me, the Ritz is the best
hotel in the world not because of its
electric clocks, or even despite them, but
simply because it is the most comfortable
to stay in. A guest in the Ritz is a guest
of the Ritz, and no member of the stall
ever forgets this simple fact for a single
moment.
If you walk out of the Ritz into the
Place Vendóme and turn left into the
Rue de Rivoli, you will come in a mo.
ment to a teushop. Last summer, seated
inside, 1 found an old friend and joined
her for is sad how байз
anished from the
youth, they were obl
ion and visiting cards.
In any case, my friend. у
th, was lamenting the passin
“It is something 1 miss,
ke Baden-Baden."
“Baden-Baden
monsieur, you are not
assured me. “We are sea
“Not for me,” she replied. “And even
if you were right, I don't suppose I
should care Гог it nowadays. 1 used to go
there when 1 was a little girl, and what 1
remember most about Baden-Baden is
the grand dukes and their enormous
trunks. The porters at the Baden-Baden
lway station were the strongest porters
in the world: they had to be
my friend continued, “one
trunk as large as those: and
опе has to be on one's
guard. year, 1 saw one at the Ritz,
of all places. И was Late at night
they were wheeling it along the р
1 happened to open my bedroom door
ad there it was. Behind walked the
owner. 1 am certain he wasnt а grand
duke. He looked.” she stabbed ihe air
thoughtfully with her fork, he
might have been a traveling
One couldn't be sure, naturally.
know. Robert, dear. | am not
moreover, I am a very simple won
have a suite of room the Ritz,
er at the Hótel de Paris in Monte Carlo.
and a small house in London. With
these, unlike most women J know, I am
content, Bur if 1 am right about t
nd 1 hope very much 1
not right—why, then, 1 may have to
consider reopening my apartment i
Versailles: at any rate, during the sum
mer months The danger, I
would hardly arise in the wine
time of the year, I prefer Monte Carlo.”
do L" E told her; and. indeed, 1
do. 1 am drawn to Monte Carlo. like a
pilgrim to Mecca or an art lov
Florence, because. Monte Carlo still rep
resents, for me. r ol gambling,
the world. In the cemer of a whirlwind.
although 1 have never proved this theory
personally, there is said to be a vacuum.
I can prove, however, that at the heart
of Monte Carlo, in the great entrance
hall of the Hotel de Pari ag Stins,
There in the entrance h
sibly by some fabulous interior decorator,
sit the ladies and gentlemen in wait
піс hats and wearing great
ies of jewelry and eye shadow, or
Шалта and occisionally toupeed.
they sit in the hotel as to the manner
born. Elegant, resourceful, infinitely ра
tient, they neither fidget nor fuss Their
purpose is to reassure the ordinary tray
cler that he, too. has arrived. Every now
and then, one of them will risc and
make his or her way to the elevator or
ош onto the terrace. Ht is not lor us 10
inquire where they are. going. They aic
going off duty, and that must suffice us.
The Hotel de ıs more to offer
even than i It moves with the
a superb rool res
rant and am indoor swimming pool. It
Iso has the prettiest breakfast chi
Europe and the unique advantage that
people never stay there on business or
because they want to look at churches or
trudge round picture galleries. ‘The
to put their feet up and to enjoy the
selves. There are not nearly
places where one cin simply рш о
feet up in Europe: but just on the edge
of it, just before you cross the Bosporus
and find yourself in A: i
Ш Turkish village called Ye
20 miles from Istanbul on the Sea
„пой
IL, arranged pos
times
There is somet
bout the Sea of M
бше to sı
surpi
very attractive
Т would not
ay on the Bosporus, which is
ngly narrow, so thar the Russian
т way up the channel
last in some unlortu
nate Тшту front. parlor. No such d.
presents itself to guests of the i
which passed all the tests to which I
subjected. it and one that 1 nor oc
curred ro mean carthquakc. 1 am not
fond of earthquakes, and this onc ¢
s is their custom, unawares
about to мер into а bath. 1 draped
myself in а towel and hurried into the
A few doors opened and one or
two guests made for the elev
others returned to their
tremors subsided. 1 hesita
which course 10. pursue, and then 1 hap:
Hors, while
rooms as th
pened ло ghince out of low. Whi
Т saw persuaded. me to hiny down the
irway and msh pell to the gar.
den, where 1 joined the dozen or so chefs
(continued on page 218)
o wasitive \
he America
THOSE LITERARY GIANTS WHO TURNED OUT THE LANDMARK FICTION
OF THE THIRTIES HELPED MOLD THE LIVES OF YOUNG PEOPLE SEN-
SITIVE TO ITS MESSAGE, BUT THE WRITERS MOST RELEVANT TO OUR
CURRENT GENERATION ARE THE CHRONICLERS AND CRITICS WHO
DEAL WITH REALTY THE AMERICAN NOVEL MADE US
article By SEYMOUR KRIM 1 was еми stane, shaped, wherted and given a world with a purpose by the American realistic
novel of the mid- to Пало 19305. From the ege of 14 to 17, I gorged myself on the wor g with Of
rue and th ; caching up with Angel and. then keeping pace till. Big Tom's stu end). Ernest Hemingway, William
rell; Joli Steinbeck, John O Hara: James Gain, Richard Wright. Jolin Dos Passos, Erskine Caldwell, Jerome
E that E wanted to be such а novelist, To me, an isolated. super
Thomas Wolle (be
"кЇн me about
ety of human
beings whe c bourbon and
S s
“brinch water, Gloria Wandrous. juke joints, ИИИ speeding trucks and big highways. Bigger. continued on page 125)
124
LE MANS, а smail French town nestled
about 200 kilometers southwest of Paris,
each spring explodes with a roar as
400,000 auto-racing enthusiasts come to
watch the grueling 24-hour test of stamina
and skill officially titled Le Grand Prix
Endurance, Begun in 1923, the Le Mans
e to the famous
(safety experts call it mous) running
мап. At Le Mans, half-a-hundred. drivers
sprint to their cars and take off in a
cacophonous symphony of shifting gears
and howling exhausts (right). Top speeds
around the 8.3-mile course are reached on
the threemile Mulsanne Straight, where
Mario Апіеці Mark IV Ford topped
211 mph in 1967
poned until late September because of
race has also given its n
year's race, post
the French student riots, was won by the
team of Pedro Rodriguez and Lucien
Bianchi piloting a privateentry Ford
СТЧО. In overcoming an early lead set by
four hard-charging Porsches, Rodriguez
Bianchi made it three in a row for Fords
at (Endurance. “Le Mans off-track area,"
says peripatetic artist. LeRoy Neiman,
is as colorful as the French flag. Music
blaring from loud-speakers mixes with
the drone of the racing cars. Long-haired
girls emulating Françoise Hardy's laconic
look crowd around Coney Island-type
stands offering Grand Marnier crepes
suzette, soupe de poisson. parfum, ver-
mouth and brut champagne. The race
starts in the late afternoon, and as the
Monetblue sky turns black and the
lights of the race cars blink on, the ex-
citement mounis. To enjoy the page:
of Le Mans knowledgeable spectators
check into а nearby hotel a da
in advance, so that they can м
time trials, mingle with dri
mechanics at an outdoor café а the
prerace tension that develops as the start
ing hour draws near. The true devotee of
the vingt-quatre heures stays tr
and awake—for the entire event:
ping breaks the mood and lessens the
flavor. The box seats over the pits are the
int. bur a blanket by
the course shared. with a jolie fille—can
мгу
ог two
ideal vantage p
be exciting and perhaps more rewarding,
leisure
leroy neiman captures
the carnival color and epic
competition of le mans—the
world’s hairiest 24-hour race
PLAYBOY
126
Thomas, U.S.A., U.S.A! Nothing to
me in those crucial, irredeemable years
was as glamorous as the unofficial seamy
side of American life, the smack. brutal
ity and cynical truth of it, all of which
I learned from the dynamic novels that
appeared in Manhattan between 1936
and 1939.
They were my high school, my reli-
sion, my major fa
escaping
; instead of
adventure or detective
were no groovy comic
Рае Hamill wrote
into
fiction—there
books then, su
out ten yea
mto his head over in Brooklyn; or, if
there were, | was alr а kid snob
tucked into my literary American dream
escaped into the vision of reali
these fresh sh pioneering
ging 10 print from all
corners of the country. In an odd
even thou
bitterly or without faith, they were p
triotic in a style that deeply impressed
my being without my being able to
break down why: They had integrity to
things that people did or said,
ha
s
were all wuthful in 1er
life. This was a naked free show about
my те jonal environment that I
damn well did not receive at home—a
home full of euphemisms and. conceal-
ments, typi ih the death of one
parent and the breakdownsuicide of the
other hanging over the charade of good
manners—or in the newspapers, on the
radio or at the movies. Except for the
fairy tales read to me as a big-eyed child
and an occasional boy's classic such as
Robinson Crusoe or Treasure Island or
the Tom Swift books, this was the first
body of writing that had ever really pos-
sessed me: and apparently 1 was never
to (and will never) get over it.
How can | communicate the savage
ess of the American. novel of 30
as it was felt by a keenly
teen , 1 guess,
although it was primarily a man’s novel,
а certainly not totally, Land the other
members of my generation who were
given eyes and ears and genuine U.S. life
style by it knew nothing about Theodore
Dreiser and Sherwood Anderson— its
d his beautifully pensive younger
intellectually
ge boy?—or gi
al present created by those men
ed in the first paragraph and were in
spired to become prose writers because of
them. It wasn't really a question of talent
il you responded to the leaping portrait
these craftloving
realists (superrealists. in actuality) were
showing with professionally curved words,
ed the talent out of yourself: at
t you creamed
(continued from page 123)
over in their style, point of view and
impact; then, later, in painful effort to
do equal justice to your own personal
test tube of experience
The deservedly legendary American
novelists of this raw-knuckled period be
fore the War (they were our celebrities,
on high!) encouraged an untested, un
formed young guy to dig into his own
worst personal experience and make
something exciting out of it in the form
of a моту. The whole movement was, in
the finest and least self-conscious sense,
the story of myriad personal lives in th
country: it encouraged everyone caught
its momentum to look hard at the
unique grain of his or her lile and
interweave with other lives. None of us.
who in the late Thirties were swept up
into the romanticheroic fantasied career
of wanting to be novelists were in any
sense fated for this role, in my opinion;
we were baited beautifully by the gusher
of skilled novels—Maritta Мо, John
Fante, Dorothy Baker, Bessie Bre
el Fuchs, Pietro di Donato,
phine Herbst, the early Robert Paul
Smith, Tess Slesinger, Frederic Prokosch,
ladys Schmiu, Irving Fineman,
Albert Halper, Nathanael
y Hall—that seemed to be
goosing each other to shine more truly
than the next, To a young, hungering
mind once hooked by the constantly
fresh stream of national lives th
their debut in these novels—characters
from all parts of the country, waitresses,
niac, juzmei
thing—it wa
once the “real” American scene entered
your imagination through the eyes of
i idual recorders and
consciences who seemed to loom
up, suddenly, hotly, with a rush before
the Th s decade ended in World Wai
Two, there was nowhere else for the
youthful truth maniac to go but 10 the
new novels hurrying each other out of
the New York publishing womb. New
fiction was the hot form, contested, a
gued, encouraged from Story to the
Masses to Esquire to the (then) Satur-
day Review of Literature to The New
Yorker; the city buzzed with the maga-
zine unveiling of any new talent: i
news that traveled. with enthusi
win Shaw in The New Yorker, Di Dona
to in Esquire, James Laughlin telli
like it down at his family's. Pitts
burgh steelworks in Story, before he be-
came publisher of New Directions).
It is very true that as the Thirties
drew to а vicious close with the Spanish
Civil War and Hitler's preparations for
the new blood-and-iron stom,
rope, the politicalization of
novel became е е and the bleak
international scene seemed to throw its
native
ew
cu
heavy shadow over our comparatively
virginal literary pine thrust and make it
suddenly wearier. But all of this is seen
from the cool view of later years; where-
as if you were just comi а
human being in the :
seemed like one nonstop fiction:
As a high school boy, although 1 boug
my New Masses every week. because the
Communists were truly involved. with
fresh fiction (O Meridel Le Sueur, where
are you now?) no mauer how slanted
their typewriters, | found the political
propagandistic implications of the new
novels much less important than
powerful concrete punch they delivered
the
ies novelists. it
seemed to me inside my comer-shooting
young head, was a pioneer: they were
ickling unrecorded experience in each
hidden alley and cove of the county
that 1 wanted to be a part of, bringing
to ground for the first time, binding
up and sending it East for exhibition
before the rest Certainly
their moral fla nd burn
ing steadily or they would not have gone
to the huge
entire country and its people accessible
to fiction; but apart from the explicitly
political base of men like Farrell and
hant Odets in dra-
although his politics was a
artoon strip compared to the flash
originality of his voice), this Паше w
used to warm their faith
writing truly rather th:
defiant gesture.
Their moral integrity—Weidman to
his New York garment center, Sarovan to
Fresno pool
hg cottonwood swamps (of
is more concerned with how
knowledged truth, that
smelled and suf
writen. They
were to my imagi outriders, ad-
vance scouts; and what they brought
back from the contemporary American
frontier was and precious to
all of us who were waiting as the infor-
mation now hugged to earth by
astronaut,
1 saw
ion
more private te
As а boy of ten or eleven, 1 had wanted
to be an explorer, my fani
oll in the
Robert Peary and F. А. Cook, who
fought over discovering the North Pole
and Robert Falcon Scout a
Amundsen, who jointly hed the
Souther one. It was no accident, 1 be
lieve, that the American novelists of the
‘Thirties took over the explorer's role in
my mind after the merely geographical
aspects of exploration had faded into the
bottom drawer of childhood. Who elsc
but these self-clected. self-taught, self
starting, gutsy men and women with th
in their proud nostrils were
(continued on page 202)
sniff of glor
DR. HORACE FELDMAN arrived at Ponchawee Manor with every expectation of being liked. The boy who handled his
luggage liked him and admired the Feldman Mercedes. The lady in Registration beamed the moment the Feldman
paunch touched the front desk. The resort manager, Mr. Glassmacher, shook the Feldman hand, but gently, gently, in
consideration of those surgeon fingers. A gratifying entrance, but no surprise to Dr. Feldman, a man accustomed to
admiration, liking and respect.
"There were two married couples and a widow lady at his assigned table in the d
г, and 60 isn't so old when an unmarried 50-ish doctor with a healthy round face and a cute mustache breaks
ad beside you. “So you're a surgeon, Dr. Feldman?" she said coyly and nudged Stanley, the bus boy, in the ribs.
inley, tell the cook he don't have to carve the roast beef tonight, we got an expert." Dr. Feldman chuckled and
I DO NOT LIKE THEE,
DR.FELDMAN
fiction By HENRY SLESAR
ng room. Her name was Mrs.
he was a fine human being
with a golden heart—a regular
albert schweitzer—so
who would want to kill him?
, performing the only operation of its kind on the
ested his soup. Before the coffee, he admitted to being
iliolumbar artery, on cases that would otherwise prove fatal.
“Fortunately,” he said, “not many people need the operatioi
Mis. Shear clapped her hands ‘A monopoly! monopolist said, didn't v
his patients were char surance, cveryone liked Dr. Feldr even morc. Not only was he a li
surgeon with golden g with a golden heart. And a fine gin-rummy player. Later that eve-
ning, he won $14 from Mrs. Shear, her friend Mrs. Elkins and two men, both named Harry. Everybody liked him. It
looked like a good week at Ponchawee Manor.
Th
but when they do, they come to ine.
ed at the
ble (it quickly became known (continued on page 216)
"ins
| АДС"
АТАМ"
since starting bunny |
training, this once-shy
miss from the |
garden state
js blooming
with new-found
WHEN you meet Helena Antonaccio
for the first time, she has a charming-
ly modest habit of lowering her eve-
lashes—a persistent. holdover from
her bashful teens. “I was always a shy
type,” she admits, “but since becom
ing a Bunny, Гуе learned to be more
outgoing. Looking back on it, though,
I don't know how I ever got up the
courage even to apply for the job."
Our New Jersey miss had gone to New
York to try out for а wig-modeling
assignment. “I'd done some face mod
cling,” she says, "so T had a little
confidence in myself. But when I
didn't get picked lor the wig layout,
I was really depressed. Not ready to
go home and admit defeat, I just
started walking around—and 1 found
t of The Р
wondered. wh
like, so I went i
asked the Door Bunny what it took
to qualify. She directed me to the
Bunny Morher, who interviewed me,
nd then—
boy Club.
Lit was
and, on an impulse
had me try on à costume,
just like that—told me E was accepted
lor training. So instead of being a
failure, I went home with an exciting
new career. My folks were as happy
as Twas. And now to be a Playmate,
too—I'm sure glad I didn’t get
that wigmodeling job.” So are we.
After visiling briefly with her stuffed.
animal menagerie, Helena readjusts her
eyelashes for the first day of Bunny training. 129
P
Top, left to right: Mrs. Antonaccio drives her daughter to work. "I get nervous about new things," Helena says, "but
talking to Mom always manages to calm me down." At the Club, Helena is greeted by the experienced Bunny who
will guide her through the training session. Opposite page, top: While her new friend shows her how to comb ond
fluff the cottontail, Helena tries on her costume and (above) receives an official welcome from the Bunny Mother.
PHOTOGRAPHY ту POMPEO FOSAR
Above: Bunny ears securely in place, Helena reports to the Training Bunny for her first class. “There's so much to
leon," our trainee says. “Which glasses for which drinks, how to set up the tray, how to serve, moking out bar checks
—it's hard to keep everything straight." Below, left to right: Heleno pouses for some last-minute advice from her
Bunny buddy, then practices her lesson (with her Room Director ploying the customer) and proves to be quick study.
Bock home, Helena uses her father's wineglass to demonstrate the famous Bunny Dip. “'It's nat that dificul," she says, "but
if you do it wrong, it looks pretty silly." Below: With the Bunny Manual clase at hand, our fledgling Bunny takes to bed.
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES
1 always worry when you leave on a business
trip," sobbed the salesman's lovely young wile.
Don't worry about me, honey,” he answered
soothingly. “I'll be back before you know i
“L know," she said. “That's what worr
me."
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines hula as а
shake in the grass.
CE
ASE
x
During her annual checkup, the wellcon-
structed miss was ed to disrobe and climb
onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't
undress right in front of you.”
“All right,” said the physician, “I'll flick off
the lights. You undress and tell me when
you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the
darkness: “Doctor, I've undressed. What should
I do with my clothes?”
"Your clothes?” answered the doctor. "Put
them over here, on top of mine."
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines sex survey
as а pubicopinion poll.
Then there was the neophyte nudist who,
despite his efforts to appear inconspicuous,
stuck out like a sore thumb.
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines centaur as
the world’s cheapest hooker.
The precocious teenager returned late from
school one afternoon and confessed to his
mother that he made love to his girlfriend on
the way home. “I'm disappointed in you," his
mother scolded. “But for telling the truth, you
may go to the corner for a milk shake.
“fhe next day, the boy came home latc
again, and this time he confessed to making
love to one of the neighbors’ wives. “Well, at
least you're still honest,” he was told, and
again he was rewarded with a milk shake.
On the third day. the boy strode into the
house and proudly announced to both of his
parents that he had stayed after school to
make love to his teacher. As his mother began
to scold him, the father picked up a frying
pan. "Don't hit him," she pleaded. “At least
he told the truth.
“Hit him, hell.” his father exci
going to cook him a steak. How long do you
expect him to keep this up on those lousy
milk shakes?”
Twas the night before the nuptials and the
brideto-be's father was unmercifully teasing
his future son-in-law. “Are you going to be a
man and do it tonight, or are you going to be a
mouse and wait until tomorrow night?" he
smirked.
Before he could stop himself, the nervous
young man blurted out, "I guess I'm a rat, sir
—1 did it last night!
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines asphyxia-
tion as a fanny fetish,
Young lady,” the football coach asked, “what
are you doing with that varsity letter оп your
sweater? Don't you know that it's against
campus rules to wear a letter unless you've
made the team?”
"Yes, sir," she said.
Our Unabashed Dictionary defines orgasm. as
the gland. finale.
А fat man was seated on his front steps drink-
ing a can of becr when a busybody spinster
from down the street began to berate him for
his appearance.
"What a disgusting sight," she said. “If
that belly was оп a woman, Td swear she was
pregnant.”
To which the man simply smiled and re-
plied, “Madam, it was and she is.”
lop hian
Grrr,” said the wolf, leaping ас Litle Red
Ridinghood. “I'm going to eat you.
“For God's sake," Red replied. "Doesn't any-
body screw anymore?"
The draft-boar wes eyed Ше swishy
young man with suspicion. They had orders
to watch out for potential draft evaders feign
ing homosexuality. After subjecting the chap
10 an extensive physical and psychological
examination, one of the board members de-
clared: "Well, fella, it looks to me like you're
going to make a good little sold
abulous," replied the young man. "When
сап I meet him?"
Heard а good one lately? Send it on а post-
card to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, Playboy
Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave, Chicago,
Ill. 60611. 850 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.
sorry, but I just don't happen to [eel like it anymore."
“Well, Pm
137
food and drink By THOMAS MARIO this simpatico spanish pairing of a
savory casserole with a piquant wine punch rates a rousing round of olés
CERTAIN FOOD-AND-DRINK COMBINATIDNS—such as cheese and port, curry and beer or
caviar and champagne—have never become clichés, because their ensemble chords
twang so beautifully that you can barely think of the one without the other. In the
summertime, the most delicious of the Damon and Pythias partnerships is paella and
sangria, the rice casserole and the wine punch, both imports from Spain.
Many a Spanish professional chef exuberantly hails the fact that his paella is never
the same twice. Among the uninhibited recipes, you'll find paellas with mussels, tiny
artichoke hearts and spicy garlic sausages; others with shrimps, chicken livers, whiting
— Paella у
Sangria
PLAYBOY
140
m, chicken, quail
nch side of the Spai
arc even more unrestrained, offering
paellas studded with veal, partridge, eggs,
mushrooms, salt pork and tongue and, as
though these weren't enough, a rare filet
mignon or two tossed atop the whole
voluptuous pile.
Undoubtedly, the first paellas were
cooked up by peasants who, haying rice
and little else to eat, gathered into the
pan scraps of pork, bits of onion, a wild
mushroom or two and any stray pimien-
to that could be obtained. But today's
paella masters—individualists to their
core—follow a more advanced guideline:
Every morsel of flesh or fish that goes
into the pan must be supremely delicious
in its own right. In Valencia, you may
find your paella chock-full of fresh
mountain snails and baby eels thinner
than your finger. But if you live in an
area where fresh snails and eels are
hard to come by, you shouldn't be con-
tent to settle for such carbon copies as
frozen eels or canned snails. Certainly, in
this country, it makes sense to include in
the paella the tenderest of baby broiler
breasts and the tightest hard-shell clams
from the nearest shore. Giant Spanish
onions should be used, for their sweet
and mellow flavor. Your garlic, even
though you may not buy it by the yard,
as they do i
Spain, should be stony hard
and fresh, spurting juice the first mo-
ment the point of your knife penetrates
it. Your olive oil must be virgin or first
pressing; it may come from France or
Italy, but if you're going to strive for
authenticity, you'll want to use the best
Spanish olive oil obtainable
You can make paclla in a huge restau-
t-size skillet or saucepa i
Dutch oven. But the particula
sists on the authentic Spanish paella pan,
sometimes called a paellera—a shallow
utensil at least 14 inches across, with two
short handles on opposite sides. Don't
buy one made of tin; it will tend to
scorch the food quickly. The heavier
minum р more practical and
available in American gourmet
kitchen shops. Incidentally, it has many
other uses: for browning or glazing fish or
eggs or crepes at a party buffet, for m:
ing kingsize omelets at party brunches or
for serving huge summer seafood salads.
There's no lid on a paella pan, and
this is the key to perfection. From the
cook's viewpoint, paella is a horizontal
her than ical creation. Unlike a
deep stewpot built for long slow simmer-
nd the smallest possible evapora-
п, the рас п permits the cook to
work quickly in his wide shallow crater,
where heat hits every ingredient almost.
instantly. Оп a small studio stove, two
flames may be necessary to keep the
paclla simmering,
all n
now
"The first cooking step is to gener.
coat the bottom of the pan with olive
oil. It may seem like a lot of oil, but in
the finished paella, with its wealth of
solid food, there will be no hint of an
oilladen dish. Meat and poultry are
quickly sautéed and then set aside.
Chopped onion, garlic and rice spring
to action only long enough to make
the rice opalescent when stock is poured
into the pan. Meat, poultry and seafood
are plunged into the bubbling lake while
the rice slowly swallows the liquid—and
the medley in full view reaches its sump-
tuous finale. When the paella is done,
the rice should be half dry, half dewy,
ither desiccated like Chinese rice пог
buttery-wet like risotio alla milanese.
The entire performance moves in such
double time that occasionally the rice
ill become tender while a small pool of
liquid still lingers in the pan. If this oc-
curs, the paella should be gently stirred
and allowed to rest over a low flame until
the rice soaks up the remaining stock.
There are partisans who the
best paclla is опе that is made one day
and reheated the next; y violate the
puris's code, but the rich marriage of
flavors, after a days living together
not only consummated but sanctified.
The ingredient that gives rice its lus-
cious Iemon color and its herb flavor,
both faintly bitter and sweet, is saffron
—current American price, $407 рег
pound, a highflying figure until you real-
c that saffron is simply another word
for the dried stigmas of the flower known
as the Crocus satwus and that it takcs ap-
proximately 225,000 of these individually
handpicked stigmas to make a single
pound of saffron. But a sixth of an ounce
of sallron threads will provide enough
of the golden stigmas to flavor at least
four pacllas. The unpulverized saffron
Spain is usually heated in the oven for a
few minutes to release its aroma and
then. pounded in a mortar before it goes
into the paella. Saffron. powder, a morc
convenient form and one that can be
sured, is available on
most gourmet spice shelves
Like the matador and his bull, every
paella must have its sangria. A good
angria goes down so easily and in such
healthy quantities that even. the most
fastidious chiteau-wine specialists. find
themselves taking long draughts rather
than sips. Spanish hosts like to marinate
the wine and the fruit peel at least an
hour before serving, to give the sangria its
fruit-flavored overtones. But its basic wine
taste shouldn't be awash with notice-
ble quantities of other fruit juices; even
the brandy and liqueurs that. sometimes
go into sangrias must not be overpoured.
"Ehe best Spanish red wine is rioja, a
frequently heavy-bodied red table wine;
mount of rioja that flows into.
es is rather limited. Actually,
sist 0
any good dry red wine with a light
ў iforn
jolais—will help
White sangria
ine seems like a
gamay or a
make a sup
made with dry white
contradiction in terms, since the word
sangria means bloodletting. But white
sangria appears frequently at. parties, and
it's beautiful for recharging the flamenco
spirit with each swallow.
Speaking of words, etymologists be-
lieve that the Spanish word paella was
derived from the Latin patella, a planter
which food offerings were once pre-
sented to the gods. We prefer the Sj
iards own explanation ich tells how
I the effort is really directed toward a
certain doncella (Spanish for maiden)
and how the finished dish is therefore
pa-ella—for her.
The word for the following paella and
sangria recipes is delicious. Each will
serve six to eight.
PLAYBOY PAELLA
14 Ibs. pork loin, center cut
2 chicken breasts (4 halves), boneless
and skinless
1⁄4 Ib. chorizo sausage, 14-in. slices
1 Ib. sliced leg of veal, pounded thin, as
for scaloppine
14 Ib. chicken livers
14 Ib. bay scallops
Olive oil
2 sweet red peppersorcanned pimie
2 green peppers
14 Ib. fresh mushrooms, sliced thin
1 Ib. raw shrimps
tos
1 Ib. fresh peas or 10-07. package frozen
peas
3 large doves garlic, minced extr
fine
ely
nish onion, minced extreme
ly fine
14 teaspoon saffron powder
Ya teaspoon oregano
2 cups long grain rice
4-5 cups chicken broth, canned or fresh
Salt. pepper
Remove bone and fat from pork. Cut
into Lin. squares, 14 in. thick. Cut chick
en crosswise into l-in. chunks. Cut. veal
into Lin. squa
into halves. Cut peppers
squares, discarding stem ends, sceds
membranes. Using a scissors, cut shi
shells through
ing shells on shrimps
peas.
Shell fresh cup oil in
pork until deep brown;
an. Sauté chicken. chorizo,
n if necessary; remove
nd dry pan, Add %4
ever low flam Add
saffron, oregano rice
(continued on page 214)
cup oi
garli and
WATCH THE pranioervise highdiving
daredevil clinging to his tiny platlorm
near the ceiling of the arena. His ioes
grip the edge. Drums roll, He dives into
the void. The mob gasps.
He plunges five stories before the
торе around his ankle stops him short
d yanks him back part of the way he
has come. Upside down, he swings back
and forth, his head only eight feet from
the ground. He then unhitches himsell
stands and accepts the crowd's tumultu
ous applause. He is a grinning 24-year
old Pole named Sitkiewicz. and he is
the featured. aeríalist with this year's
Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey
Circus. He is a very amiable chap. al
ways laughing. He says good morning to
people, even at n
guage
Там word in alienated man. By learning
onc trick no one else will try, he has set
himself apart Irom the rest of the world;
and for performing this trick 13 times a
week, he carns something over $200. The
elephants are not the only circus perform-
1. He speaks no Гап
anyone else around speaks, the
ers who work for peanuts. Sitkicwicz: са
reer is good for about ten years, if the
rope doesn't break. After ten years, if he
wants to stay employed, he had better find
а new and more dangerous trick
Watch the death-delyng, snake-wres
Hing daredevil. His name is Kurt Sever
in. He calls himself "author . . . world
traveler photo journalist ad
venturer." His specialty is snakes. In rhe
past, it has also been sharks, crocodiles
and the puberty rites of Latin-American
jungle tribes, Today, wading through
the Amazon jungle, he comes upon an
conda thicker through the middle
n a man’s thigh. About 18 feet long
the anaconda dangles from a tree Severin
decides to grab it by the head while
his guide photographs him and it, both
grinning.
An instant later, the huge constrictor
has flung Severin to the ground and is
coiled around him, crushing the life out
ol him.
"Keep snapping,” gasps Severin, who
sees a great series of photos in this.
He has the anaconda by the throat
with both hands, but the anaconda has
him by the throat, too. Jis tail is
wrapped around Severin's windpipe and
is sliding aroumd in
Severin, contemplating how long the series
of photos should be, fights for time. But
soon his face goes red. He can't breathe
or talk. He manages to pry the anacon
Ча loose enough so ihat he cam зау
“Remove the necklace
Three men. struggling, at Last get the
snake oll Sever
"Did you get
Severin, fingeri
Yes
Severin is happy. “Tve had much clos
а second loop.
lot of photos?” gasps
his swollen throat
er calls than that with cobras.” he says
Watch the death-defying daredevil Josè
Meillret pedaling а spec in a wind
RISK
TAKERS
Ts it the wish for fame,
fortune or death that drives
men to seek danger and
lay their lives on the line?
article
By ROBERT DALEY
break behind a racing car at speeds of
over 108 miles per hour, the former world
record, which was set in 1941. In ihe
Sixties. Meitlrer first raised the record to
109.6, then to 115.9. These are records no
one gives а damn about. They
re worth.
absolutely nothing commercially, Fach
atiempt costs Me
reta short, bald, 50ish
gardener with a concave dent in his skull
Irom an earlier crash—thousinds of dol
kus of his own money
Now watch Meiffret оп an autobahn
in Germany leaning forward over the
handle bi ning to make the over
siw sprocket go around.
dose to 60 miles an hour, һе
behind the windbreak jutting upward
from the rear of ihe racing car. The
mob tensely leans forward along both
sides of the measured kilometer. “The
spectators stare down from the over
Somewhere
ducks in
passes, Now the racing car, with
Meiffret tucked into the windbreak. is
speeding along at 100 miles per hour
115... 125. Inside the wind
break, Мейе is straining to keep his
front wheel one inch [rom a roller bar
If he touches the roller bar, he knows it
won't roll, it will fling him off his bike
and kill him. If he drops back out of the
windbreak through loss of a pedal. or
fatigue or a heart spasm, the wind will
throw him off the bike and kill him. If
he hits a crack in the road, or a pebble,
he is a dead man
Out of the measured. kilometer rock
ets the racing саг. Josè Мейес is still
in the windbreak, upright. alive. Ladies
and gentlemen, а new absolute speed
record for miles per hour pedaled in a
windbreak behind a racing Gu: 127.98
mph, by the death-defying José Moitlret,
daredevil of international cycling!
This article is concerned with death
and with those who risk it deliberately
gratuitously and perhaps compulsively
But that's not fair. you say. Each of
the three men mentioned so far sounds
like some kind of nur. The Pole is in a
ciraus, exactly where he belongs. indis
tinguish ks ther
Severin has gone to the Far East to see
some snakes. Good. because we don't
want him around here. Мете is Iranti
Gilly and unsuccessfully trying to find
backers for a new record attempt, for he
has no money left to pay for it himself
Glad t0 hear it, We are not interested in
crackpots acting ош death wishes
But wait. 1 have some more daredevils
for you. The boundary line gets fuzzy
Watch the war photographer at Khe
sinh. His пате is David Douglas Dun.
nd he is famous for photographing
the art treasures of the Kreml
Picasso's secret hoard of his own work
Duncan docs not have to go to war. He
is over 50 years old and he has been to
too many wars already: World War
Two. Palestine, Greece, Korea, Indo
But he recently went into the
able from the other frez
di
141
Marine outpost at Con Thien, got his
ve. Now he flies
Xd came out
runs from
which is being bombarded on the land-
bping a grim
day terror and death, A
skids the length of
blows up. Юшкап, r
PLAYBO
p. braves the
g explosions, and. pho-
ng charred
blaze. A direct hit
tographs I
dead ones out of th
p part of the m
leaving hundreds of scorched but unex-
ploded artillery shells to be disposed of.
phs Marines gingerly
ag scores of live, d
ged shells
to be buried.
rocket explodes fuel hoses that lead. like
n gasoline dump. М
cameras click, A
d they will all be
stantly immolated. Duncan, at
knows the da
nc days, Duncan flies out of
‚ he shepherds his
fuses to the ma
€; Duncan":
Khesanh. In. New Yor
i › Life maga
Then he turns
and flies back to Vietnam, ba
ag shells, terror and
death. He might be photographing artsy
scenery for McCall's, which o
550.000 for some shots of
chooses to go back into combat, Why?
“Death wish?
no death wish
for me. But it’s the most i
of our time, perhaps in the е
of our country
1 television.
paid him
псап. "I have
е too much
onworker fastening ribs
to the skeleton of a skyscraper 30 or
street. His name
is Edward 1
across the void on an сїрїн.
to get to а cup of collec someone has
sent up on an exposed dumb-waiter.
across the
ach beam while studying the coffee
s not to spill it, Listen to
carefully so
"You're mor zy тап up there
then it gets to be habit. You
only focus оп you
ground. You have to |
speed. You always start out on a b
same speed. you"
ve a sense of
Of comse, big beams vou €
1 to yourself you c
and climbed i
nally, I'm оң
steel beam w
id looking a
looking out and seeing v
the top. sta
ay up there, ;
1 around up there,
ad as I stood there
a sudden I am thinking to myself, "This
is what D want to do!" Eddie
then 13 or М.
When he was an apprentice, climbing
a ladder while balancing about 20 cups
of cofice for the men, he fell
two flights, Landed on so
got scalded and nearly drowned by the
coffee. Working on the Firs National
Gity Bank Building in New York, he fell
into the void but landed on a be
three stories down amd. though hurt
held on. The older workers told him
he'd never live to sec 30.
was
Working on the Verrazano-Narrows
bridge approach, he got one ling
crushed and another amputated—ih
surgeon r
sewed the
ved the crushed finger but
putated опе back on i
crooked position, so Eddie could use
to hold onto beams, One day, high on
bridge, he turned to find а buddy
re. feet dangling into
emptiness, voice pleading, "Help me,
Edd
Eddie had a grip on the man's clothes
but couldn't hold him. » fell 350
feet to his death watched h
fall, naked back showing as the shirt
flapped in the wind.
1 nearly got killed three times
the bridge," says Eddie. "Sure,
heen thinking about it, But 1 couldn't
I love it too much. 1 wake up
aking today might be my last day.
But that doesn’t mean I'm going to stay
I've
xh the diver 140 miles of
id 432 feet below the surface of
His name is Robert Stenuit. In
side the capsule that has taken him to
the bonom, he takes а deep breath of
pressurized gas, holds ii
down into the water. Ac him in
the gloom is the rubber house in which
he will live for two days. Above him is
feet of water. Wearing only a swim
suit, holding his breath, he pauses to
look straight up toward the sun he can-
mot sce and to realize that, at
depth, if anything goes wrong. he will
have no chance of reaching the surface —
nonc.
So he swims over to the rubber house
and climbs in. The gas in there tastes to
him as fresh as mountain air. "What
Im in this other world,” he thinks.
What silence. What
He hurries to со ge
Ibergh, swims ii
dehumid
doesn't Their
ag slivers of
walls. In dark and cold, they wrestle
into place the four-foot
ders that will purify their rubber house
of the rapidly accumulating carbon
dioxide. But one cylinder is flooded and
the other has the wrong cover on it and
is useless. They аге panting from exer
tion dioxide level in the
rubber house is grous.
and swims
ss fron
work,
lights
d the c.
So they wait while а new cyhnder is
sent down, When it comes. they wrestle
the rubber house. They work
Шу. At Fast they hear it workin
gis rushes in the way it is supposed to.
They are, momentarily, safe. That nigh
on the boom of they eat corned
beef, drink canned water and carrot
In the they work outside ot
bottom.
After 49 hours on the bottom—the
longest deep dive ever—and four days
decompressing, they come out into th
с sca
ice.
sunlight. again
“Our succesors." exults Stenuit, "will
the depths that long or longer
hey will colonize th
ing its resources instead of pill
them.”
You are against
you tend to be f
ironworkers and divers,
take too тапу chances.
bravery. where it sec
though not c
wh:
but
war photographers,
Я nuts,
you say,
if they doni
You arc lor
S to pay oll,
clear €
bravery is or how much рау-ой is
aybe you would like to
daredevils you approve ol
quality of bravery th
the ones you don’t. or that you
ng of risk i
the good it may do—for someone else.
you
necessary
You arc against the death wish, what
ever that is. You think nobody has a right
to risk his life very much. We have a lot
nd that kind of
thing.
So let us see what you think ab
certain athletes,
Waich daredevil bulllight El
Cordobés, in Madrid. His first ll ol
the day gore
der the
both his own
homs
him three inches deep un
rm. He springs up, ignores
wound and the bulls
s and. Kills it so skillfully
that, in the general delirium. he is
warded both cars
Ducking into the infirmary, he allows
his armpit to be sewed up without any
utside to lace
This one hooks him at
k
Уму
anesthetic, th
second bull.
once. He springs to his feet. runs b;
to it and it spears him again, th
him, wheels and is on top of him. Its
horn rips part of his costume off, he lies
with his back bloody and exposed and
the horn digs for him. His men drag
him free and wy to carry him off, but he
breaks loose, scoops up his bloody ck
and gives the bull a hair-raising series of
molinetes, passing the animal behind his
back. His costume is half gone, he is
covered with blood, his eyes are
fanatics and he
again and again bel
Pcople are эсге: no, no
me is shouting, "Get h
He doesn’t know what he's
out of there.
doing." El Cordobés is being р
1 over
€ us thrills, but such
516,000 today to gi
(continued on page 150)
gemini
PLAYBOY
144
they stared at us. They always
us. When we were very little, we
Later, we hated it. Now they
don't stare . beca we're never
together anymore. We put space between
us. Miles and miles of geography. We
in two different cities,
Who's older, you or him?
Me! I'm older! He was bom at three in
the afternoon and I was born ten minutes
before three.
He was so glad to get rid of you, he
shoved you out!
Or: He w
wanted the whole place to himself.
Some teachers thought. it was funny to
h our names. Why not?
Iways good for a laugh. Now, let
. How will 1 tell you apart? I can
put you in the jist row and your brother
in the last row, but then 1 might forget
who 1 put where, 1 mean whom 1 put
where. Class, any suggestions?
Teacher? Why doesn't one wear a warf
around his neck every day and the other
docsi't, and that way we'd always know
which is which.
Class, if you keep оп laughing while
someone is veciting, how do you expect
те to hear that person recite?
We tried getting i ferent classes
1t couldn't be done. Everything was alpha-
betical. Once, опе m al time, the class
list actually split between our names.
But: Oh, no. I'm sure you boys want
to be together. 1 don't think anybody
together.
stared а
liked that
s greedy even then, He
will skin me alive Jor putting one extra
in a class this time.
hat time we took a stand. Right up
to the principal.
But: What's the matter with you fel-
lows? Ave you antisocial with cach other
or something?
How do you exp!
that you'd like to be in
than your own God given identical twin?
ally when they've already kindly
rule to keep you together?
We did wha For instance,
we never walked to school together
So: Where's your twin brother?
We never walked home togeth
So: Why didn't you wait for him?
Clothes. After a certain age, we never
in to a principal
different class
we could.
lc salespeople se
their stocks for two alike (imagine,
your own house, having to look for a
a clothing). But. that
didn't wor There we
ments as to who should get wl
when; and if I got red last time, I got
blue this time. And: What ave you guys
trying to do, be different? Who es
twins who weren't dressed alike?
Or: You guys could really wok a
racket. One of you stays home and the
she'll
difference, beenuse there
Y saw
other answers the roll twice and
never know th
aren't two guys dressed alike anymor
Who hasn't lived for the first pair of
long pants? But long р: us
more twins than we alr My
brother had this birthmark, sort of, above
his right knee. I didn't. As long as we
wore short pants, you could tell us apart.
But when we got our first longies. .. .
How the heck do you expect us to tell
you apart пош?
Roll up your pants and prove it. Roll
up the underwear, too.
Wi to get u
street
I's no [ип being with someone when
you don't know who И is.
And always, of course, there was: Do it
like your brother did it. Or else: Don't
do it like your brother did и
We had the best luck with our friends.
Our close friendships were with dillerent
people, we didit share our fiends; per-
haps it was the only freedom, the only
i lity we ever had. We
d the word “identity”
dressed in the
ever
prolog, they say-
I me J
redhead, а
aî
ural redhea
v. She
d, ] found out
laer, and she was very feminine, she
glowed with femi nd yet she had
this almost masculine directness that 1
admired. 1 went to the party looking for
someone like Joan. I've been looking for
someone like Joan all my lite, and there
she жаз. Jt sounds corny when I say it,
but from the first moment Î saw her, 1
w I would love her to the
She had these big green
pale, milkwhite face, a real
of face, th so vulnerable one touch
of the sun would burn it. And all this
red, red hair а wilderness of
it, crashing down her shoulders |
1 of molten copper. Finely chis
res, delicately modeled nostrils.
But, with all this delicacy.
Imost mgh
when shi ely amused, Not a
phony girlish giggle. Not an inhibited
tuer. A big, loud Laugh! I loved that.
1 loved her
And, what was really wonderful, she
loved me. How lucky сап a g
ask you
We
which helped instance
liked Japanese food, hated Chinese food,
and our first real “date” (funny, old-
Lashioned-sounding word) started. with
dinner in a J We
shaved dislikes, too, such as an aversion
to strenuous sports, a tendency to physi
cal la Iwe
both detested Liszt, лой. Anto
ad Utrillo; n we knew
each other heuer, we ally confessed
was a
redhead sort
a mass of
а refreshing,
lor of the sa
For
ed me things,
that, no matter how hı
were bored with Mo;
We ate sashimi and teriyaki and dr
sake.
We listened to Bach, Verd
Ellington,
We went to Kubrick
met movies, and we ave
Antonioni and by Losey.
We went for long dri ad those
were the only occasions on which we had
1 minor difference of opinion: 1 liked то
drive with the top down, but 1 had to
dose it because of the sun and what the
sun does to redheads.
Yowre the only man i
could ever love,” she wa
She would say, “I can't even remember
what the oth e like, it’s so wonder-
ful with you
Darling," she would say, “you're so
different from other meu. I didn't ki
it could be such [un just sittin
talking 10 someone.
1y wonderful
would say.
And опе day she said, “Tell me about
your family
d we tried, we
k
Mahler,
novies and Lu
led movies by
the world I
1 say.
s we
itlerem darling,
ich to tell P said
ot My moth.
er and father died years ago. 1 h
sister and three brothers who don't live
One of them is my twin brother.
Really? Your twin? Tell me
him.”
еа
1g to tell. He lives there
are really two of you?
ical twins?"
“Yes, identical.
That m ı look exactly alike?”
“Well, it doesn't mea really:
biologically, the word " simply
ins—but, yes, in our case, we look
alike.
E
аспу alike?”
Ike.
so fascinating! And you
“But tha
never told m
“Why should I
have told you? I's
nothing.
How marvelous! To be а twin! Опе
hall of a pair! Tell me, what does i
feel like:
“Look, honey, not from you. I've had
that every day of my life, 1
sorry,
see how t
world as sweet
nary with me:
“Ко. Of course not.”
We dropped the subject.
‘That is, we dropped the subject, but I
didn't; my own mind kept bringing up
the subject. 1 kept hearing the voices ol
those kids at school, years before
Here comes the Gold Dust Twins.
Mike and He, they look ali
(continued оп page 200)
n be two in thi
е. You
can
ге not
I| there are по
PLAYBOY
146
PARAMILITARY RIGHT (continued from page 104)
and that the paramilitary activists had
even succeeded in infiltrating the state
police. Hentel announced in the aler
math of the raids that for two years, an
named state policeman—one of three
te troopers comprising a Minutei
ction squad”—had looted heavy w
ons from armories for the organization
and had tipped off Minuteman leaders on
pending state and Federal investigations.
According to Hentel, the trooper
also served as an organizer for the Min-
шешеп and had recruited ional
Guardsme possible leaders of M
utemen cells, The three state policemen
were subsequently cashiered, but mo
criminal action was taken against them.
The Minutemen the raids
were drawn from a cross section of lower-
middle-class America; in addition to the
state troopers, there were a cabdriver, а
gardener, a subway conductor. a fireman,
a mechanic. a plasterer, a truck driver,
а licavy-equipinent operator, a draftsman,
several small businessmen, horse groom
and two milkmen. Most were respectable
family men in their late 20s or early 30s,
known to their neighbors as solid, church:
going pillars of the community—but they
inhabited a world removed from the
P. T. A. and the Rotary Club. One of the
milkmen, nicknamed “Nathan Hale” be-
cause of the inscription LIBERTY OR DEATH
оп the stock of one of his semiautomatic
rifles, carefully stored highly volatile plas-
tic bombs in the refrigerator. One of the
leaders of the group, Jack Lynn Boyce
of Katonah, New York, a former Madi-
son Avenue copywriter and more recently
a sophomore at Danbury State College
in Connecticut, stockpiled his own pri
vate arsenal; in а six-A.M. raid on his
home, police seized an undetermined
number of bazookas, 10 machine guns,
3 mortars, several handguns, an antitank
missile launcher, 12 walkie-talkie sets, а
sawed-off shotgun, automatic. rifles and
a large quantity of ammu n. Out-
side Boyce's spacious twostory farm-
house, a Betsy Ross flag with 13 stars
fluttered proudly in the breeze, and
his porch door was flanked by two up-
right howitzers. Buried in the back of a
behind his house was the neighbor-
hood's only fallout. shelter; Boyce was
a regional Civil Defense officer. In his
spare time, he sharpened hi
ship by lobbing cans of peas from a
modified mortar at cows grazing in a near-
by pasture, while his brother, equipped
with a walkie-talkie, served as forward
illery observer. Bemused neighbors re-
marksman-
corded no direct hits. Another of the
band. a Long Island gardener, held те
cruiting sessions for the Ku Klux Klan in
his greenhouse; and one of the most dedi
cated members, a Reserve master sergeant
in the Green Berets, taught unseasoned
recruits the rudiments of jungle warfare
in his back yard.
Despite appearances, this group маз
viewed by New York authorities as any-
thing but ludicrous. "Kooks they are,
harmless they're not," said one officer of
the Bureau of Special Services, the un-
dercover intelligence unit of the New
York City police force. “It's only due to
their own incompetence, and not any
lack of motivation, that they haven't left
a trail of corpses in their wake."
In the aftermath of the roundup, а
high New York City official revealed to
The Washington Post that if the orches-
trated raids on the leftist camps had
proved successful, the Minutemen's next
move was to have been an assas tion
attempt on former CORE leader James
Farmer, marked for death as а “top
black Red." Hentel adds that during the
raids, hundreds of copies of a forged
pamphlet, purportedly issued by a black
nationalist group, were discovered in the
Bellmore, Long Island, home of Minute-
man leader William Garrett. The leaflets
—which Hentel characterized as part of a
plot to foment racial violence—had been
thrown Irom speeding cars in racially
tense areas of Queens and Long Island,
urging Negroes “to kill white devils and
have the white women for our pleasure.
Hemel feels that a racial conflict was
only narrowly averted through the coop-
eration of local newspapers and radio
stations, which clamped a news blackout
on William H. Booth,
ch;
sion on Human Rights, contends that
there was a "ticin" between the Minute-
men and rumored a
Negroes that led to racial disturbances in
the East New York, Bushwick, Lafa
BensonhurstGravesend and South Ozone
Park areas of the city in 1966.
The raids put a temporary crimp in
Minuteman plans, but they failed to
break the back of the organization, even
the New York/New England area. In
June 1967, five New York City Minute-
men organized an assassination attempt
inst Herbert Aptheker, director of the
American Institute of Marxist Studies
nd a member of the national commitice
of the U.S. Co ty, whose
Brooklyn camp: had
been the a abortive
this ti
pipe bomb on the roof of the Allerton
tors ne planted a homemade
ity and So. mer in the
Bronx, directly n upstairs room
where Aptheker was scheduled to ad-
dress an audience on Marxist dialectics.
Duc to a defective n. the
bomb exploded after the shatter
a skylight above the spe
nd causing considerable бата
empty auditorium. The Minutemen plot
g mechan
ting
&
ters were swiftly apprehended and their
leader was sentenced to two years in pris
on; his four codetendants—one of them
the owner of a Bronx sporting goods shop
—were let off with lighter sentences.
The six Minutemen who launched а
second attack on the pacifist encamp
ment at Voluntown late last summer
fared no better. Once again, FBI infiltr
tors in their ranks had tipped off local
authorities—but this time the warning
almost came too late, State troopers,
alerted by Federal agents to the impend-
ing raid, had stationed themselves in force
t the entrance to the 40-acre farm two
miles north on Route 165. but the Min-
utemen slipped through the cordon and
surprised two women residents of the
camp outside ihe main farmhouse
(None of the pacifists had been apprised
by police of their danger.) According to
igues a
h fixed bayonets, "spoke
quietly, moved quietly and seemed. very
self-assured.” The Minutemen shoved the
women inside the farmhouse, bound them
securely and taped their eyes and mouths,
before setting forth to ransack the ground
floor
‘The scenario was abruptly interrupted
by the belated arrival of the state troop
ers. The Minutemen opened fire and а
brief gun battle ensued before they
threw down their weapons and surren-
dered. Six people were shot in the melee
—one state trooper, four raiders and one
of the women residents, who was wound.
ed in the hip when a trooper's shotgun
discharged as he side-stepped a Minute
man's bayonet thrust. The six men wer
charged with conspiracy to commit arson
and assault with intent to Kill. One of
them was identified as chairman of his
home town's Wallace for President org:
i another served as cociairm
of the Wallace campaign in
Connecticut.
Minuteman chief DePugh invariably
denies responsibility for such terrorist
raids and claims they are carried out by
local leaders without his approval. But
in recent years, DePugh has encountered
own share of difhculties with the law
He was sentenced to four years’ imprison
ient for violations between. May 1963
and August 1966 of the National Fire
ms Act, wh es it illegal to possess
red automatic weapons; he is
appealing the conviction, And on March
4, 1968, a Federal С
dicted DePugh and his chief a
ter Patri
minding a conspiracy to dynamite the
police and power stations in Redmond,
Washington, diversionary tactic
preparatory to robbing the town’s thre
banks—all р
Minuteman coffers ii
the са
n
Norwich,
ich mal
unre;
le, Wal
k Peyson, on charges of таче
ıt of a bizarre plan to swell
the tradition of
rly Bolshevik terrorists. Redmond's
(continued on page 242)
Систан fiberglass һудгоріапе
that's steered by body
English. from Hana. $550, is
‘shown with а 20-hp
outboard, by Kiekhaeter
Mercury, $480.
Studio 11 battery
powered head
phone set houses an FN radio.
by Panasonc, $99 95.
Gyroscopic binoculars can
be used at 10 ог 20 power,
image is stabilized
despite holder's
erratic motion, by
Math Systems, $4500.
Gut-strung tennis rackets
in brass over steel, $60,
and all steel, $52.
both by Tensor.
Elmo Super 104 толе camera
accepts all standard super-8 Мт
cartridges, has 85mm to 34mm
тоот lens. by Honeywell. $169.50
Maverick. a
peppy six cylinder
7 newcomer to the
эта! саг market
sports а 105-hp е
comes with three-speed
manual gearbox or optional
semiautomatic or Cruise-O-Matic
transmission. by Ford, about $2000
Eternal Calendar comes with
blocks that are turned
to correct date, from
Edwin Jay, $5.
Swinger portable Smokeless and
typewriter comes with а spatterproo! vertical
transistor radio broiler with dual heating
cuted и ы шү elements, by Presto, $30
case, earphone jack, by
Royal, $69.95.
Swiss-made watch
with 17-jewel movement has
a nylon sail-line band,
from Destino, $40.
Booze Buoy plastic
floating bar comes with glasses,
ice bucket and metal stand
(not shown),
by Red Coat, $128.95.
‘Sea-Doo propeltertess
Jet-stream aqua-scooler that's
Powered by an air-cooled engine, will
do up to 25 mph. operates in a minimum of
three inches of water, by Bombardier, $995.
Bookshell miniature
railroad trom West Germany
includes cars, locomotive and oval
track, trom Rockefeller Solid-state AM/FM
Industries, $33. clock radio with
five-inch speaker,
by Arvin, $6455.
Acetate gol! umbrella houses a glass
flask lor a linksman's favorite
beverage, from Rigaud, $10.
Bridgeveryone game can
be used by bridge
players at all levels of proficiency,
by Robert Н. Hallowell I
Industries, $24.95. E UN 1
148
Taperllex psychedelic slalom water ski
of redwood has hard. gloss
Melamine coating, from Superior
Sports Specialties, $79.95.
Gerald McCabe—designed
glass and steel
20-inch cube table, by Eon,
about $160.
Electric clock
with rotating decorative
sundial, from Ted
Arnold Ltd., $27.50.
Super-8 and 8mm
silent and sound
reprints of Hollywood
film classics.
from Sears, Roebuck,
ranging from $5 to $100
Groove Tube solid-state
portable TV with
seven-inch screen operates on
A.C., 12-volt
system ог optional
battery pack, by Emerson, $125.
А Psychedelic strobe
Honda Mini Trail motorcycle light puts out one to
that's designed lor off-the-road roughriding fifteen flashes per
Teatures a three-speed transmission. second, by Polymedia
telescopic front suspension and Group. 3125.
large knobby tires, folds to fit
in trunk of car, by
American Honda Motor Со.
about $250.
Swilch-Able surglasses
tome with four pairs of
interchangeable lenses, by
Rayer. $5.
Board Chairman, а
chessboard.
topped walnut
record cabinet filled Cotton robe that's
with tins of caviar, pheasant pàlé, ideal for late-
smoked trout, elc, Irom ~ evening lounging,
S. S. Pierce, $100 from Alexander Shields, $50.
149
PLAYBOY
150
RISK TAKERS
insane bravery as this is not pretty to
watch, "Get him out of there,” we scream.
At last the fearful passes end. He kills
the bull with a stroke. Now we cheer
ourselves hoarse for him and award him
p down to parade him.
1 the ue on their shoulders.
Watch ghe daredevil racing driver,
Jackie Stewart, on the LHmile, 175-curve
Nürburgring. Listen to his reaction to the
Fuchsrdhre, а windy downhill plunge into
а dip. then a steep uphill climb. imo a
sharp dell 1, followed by a right,
felt and another right.
Stewart says: “The fist time you go
down that hill, youre in fourth ge:
and you decide you should be able to
ake it in sixth gear Hat ош. So the
next time around, tha at you try:
you go downhill in sixth g а hundred
and sixty-thr c» an hour, switching
w
an ear, Men ju
"na
nd t
hack and forth from one side of the road
to the other, the tees and hedges going by
You can't see anything but greenery and
you think: ‘Christ, I'm going тоо fist. It's
bloody terrifying” You think: Tm not
going to have enough time to do every-
thing’ In the dip at the bottom of thy
hill. the g forces are tremendous; you're
squashed down in your seat, the suspen
sion isn't working and you realize you
can't contol the car You
think: ‘Ie is going to 1 line up
the hill, whatever that be.’ You
€ foot off the accelerator
onto the brake accurately—you only get
comer of it, and the car is going up
the hill like on tram tracks. You're strug:
gling to steer it and. at the same time,
you're trying to come down Iwo gears
and get it slowed enough lor the lefi-
hander, and then there is a right, left,
right coming—I tell you, its bloody
terrifying-
But the second time you do it, you
nd body are synchronized to the
ments you're competing against, and
like in slow motion.
ify you again until next
ave been some
id
n't ger your
"It won't te
year, when there will
improvements to the car and tires,
эп go down there a Little bit faster."
Or watch the daredevil moun
aber, Walter. Bonari, the Superman
8
h faces in winter—alone. See
him on the north face of the
horn, climbing without gloves for
ter grip, while the helicopters and light
planes buzz about him all day. Every
year or so up to now, he has made one
of these fantastic climbs, selling his sto-
and photos in advance to various Eu-
ropean may: very climb is mudi
the same. Leaving his 70 pounds of gea
behind, he climbs а little way up some
sheer rock wall, hammering in pitons
Then he climbs down to get his gear
of the Alps, whose specialty is climbi
sheer not
5
(continued from page 14
and climbs up again, removing the pi-
tons as he goes, lor he will need the same
pitons again higher v
Each night, he
sack to pitons pl:
hooks his sleeping
«І more or less solid.
ly in a fissure in the rock, curls himself
into it in a letal position, lights his spirit
heater on his knees and cooks himsell
some bouillon or tea out of chunks of ice
broken oll the wall. He
cats some dried
gat candy
ss there all night. trying to
sleep but kept ама
I terror
Meanwhile, back in their warm, sale
homes, Europeans watch that day's part
of the climb on television, thank God
they are not Walter Bonati and ask
themselves what the hell he ts doing up
there alone.
He has been up there as long as sev-
һ days in the рам. The Matterhorn
mb takes only four. There is a huge
Gross atop the Matterhorn. raised there
long ago by climbers who came up the
asy way; and on the final afternoon,
Bonatti at list spies the cross, with
halo of sewing sun behind it. The cess
seems incandescent and miraculous all at
nd Bonatti feels blinded. He climbs
1 meters be
and approaches the cros with open
arms. When he feels it against his chest
he embraces it, falls on his knees and
begins to weep.
Do these people have a vision ol Ше
that is denicd to most of us? Or аге they
al «талу? And w г
spectators killed by stray racing cars or
rescuers killed trying to get climbers olf
mount; walls? We also don't want to
pay for any of the risk taking via tax
dollars. When а guy puts to sea in a
ten-foot canoe, we don't want the Coast
Guard going alter him on our money.
Should they be stopped? I don't know
how you сап stop most of them: you can't
put police lines around every mountain
or every sea. But would you want to stop
them, if you could?
And let's look at this so-called death
wish. Is there such a thing and, if хо, is
it everywhere and always deplorable?
Or do we me sy Label
(because we do not understand) on
Шу something else: Be,
ıd technique of such awc-
some perfection that it removes most of
the danger we. (то nce, think
there? 15 it possible, most of the time.
that most of these people are saler than
you and I a king to work? Is it I
ther possible that they have а perfect
righ псу of society's approval or
disapproval, to risk their lives as much
as they please? Is it also possible that
you and 1 absolute need of
such men around us, the useless as
much as the useful, those who pet away
‚ usually, by cold
ali
once,
ween himself and s
the fin
fety
about the lives
cour
mbition
ad
have an
with it as much as those who, misjudg
ing the length of the rope, regale us
with brains upon the floor?
Let us look more closely.
You ask what kind of
who regularly choose to risk their
these
men are
A few of the ones 1 have known
tthe world calls weirdos 1
think José Мейит. the speed сусам, is
a bit strange, and 1 think this principally
because his insanely dangerous record
tempts are worth nothi
ebe and nothing to him coi
to be wha
anyone
пу
He docs it strictly for glory: “At such
speeds. 1 belong по longer to the earth
amd not yet to death. Av such speeds 1
am—me!” Meillret, small, poor, stepped
on all his lile, suddenly found a
to make people take notice. In
windbreak, crossing into the
kilometer at 127 miles per hou
his head filled
thought: “Twenty seconds more aud the
goo
way
the
measured
he says
only onc
Wils with
record is mine anew, The record will be
my revenge on life, revenge on the mis
ery 1 have sullered.” To get to that mo
nt, he practiced strict chastity. slept
on a board, ше only health loads. Ee
had written hundreds of letters, trying
10 line up backers and cooperation. and
he had speni every sou he owned. His
fe w
as not important to him, compared
the record.
I think Donald Campbell. the former
land- and waterspeed record holder,
was a bit strange. Campbell had all
soris ol fetishes and superstitions and
also believed he could comn
with the dead. Just before setting. his
final reco
with
as he sat d
quiveri r. his
went calm, and in а moment, he rocket
ed safely down the run at 403 miles per
his cockpit
ly
е suddo:
g with fe
hour. He explained that his dead La
thers face had appeared lo him.
reflected in the windscreen. his dead
"s voice had assured him he would
оп
bell reeked of death. Stirling Moss once
ng drivers claimed. G
mp
told me he was absolutely certain
Campbell would shortly. kill himsell.
Moss was right. Campbell's boat blew up
as he tried lor the water speed record.
And talking t0 Floribebased Kure
bout snakes and about fear is
ainly an unsettling experience. “1
he says. “И is one
thing 1 am not acquainted with. I get an
uncomfortable feeling at t
he not frightened. with
coiled around him? "No.
e three people around 10 get
L only wanted 10 have
es, but il is
it oll me
ture of myself with ihe
send to my wile.”
Severin. has been in the wat with
th crocodiles. He has heen
nd about 20 revolu
as to have been the first
(continued on. раҳе 176)
sharks and w
in three w
tions. He сї,
"s
PLAYBOY'S |
| М
PLAYBOY
152
tion can be as low as one fifth of
trans
onc percent.
Of couse, professional n
1 investors, even if they
are paid six-figure salaries for devoting
ecessarily better inves
tors than anyone else. And to the extent
that diversification reduces risk, it also
lessens the chances of large profit. But
professional investors do, in th
gate, perform better than
the people who invest
in the aggregate, are not out to make a
Killing. They just want to sce their mon
ey grow: slowly, perhaps, but steadily
di ive salety, year after year.
For this type of person. mutual funds
over the years have proved ап excellent
investment. For the man who couldn't
care less about the intricacies of high
finance but still appreciates wealth and
all the freedom it implies, mutual funds
reports, аге not
may be the best investment of all. And
even the markerwise young pro, con
fid а few thousand into a
small fortune without the aid of outside
се, might do well to sink a small
п of his hard-earned specu
profits into а well-chosen fund; it won't
provide him many thrills, but neither
will it break him.
Until a few years ago. a strong recom-
investment
vutual-fund
was its convenience. There were so many
stocks that the chap who was unwill
10 spend more than five minutes cach
Sunday with the financial. pages couldn't
hope to make an intelligent choice. In-
in a mutual fund. on the other
mplicity. All
mendation for
was
para
one had to do was fill out а coupon
na
пе or newspaper and a salesman
would soon be calling to talk about the
fund he represented. Often it wasn't even
iccessary to fill out the coupon. Especial-
ly for the youngish investor—or anyone
cbse seeking large but relatively distant
s—the funds were all vagu
ly similar,
Bi
making the decision even easier. You just
bought one and forgot about it.
But nowadays. picking a fund seems
almost as dilficult as selecting a first-class
stock, In fact, the number of funds is
Teasing faster than the number of
listed stocks. In 1968, owing mainly to
the astonishing rate of corporate disap-
pearance through mergers, the number
of different sha Че on the New
York Stock Exchange actu
ished. Mutual funds, which are not sold
on the stock exchanges, increased in
number by about 100. Fund assets have
multiplied a hundredfold since 1910 and
now total some 53 billion dollars. Within
the past decade, the number of mutual
funds hay almost doubled: there are now
over 500 active and readily available
funds, which means that the investor's
choice is anything but
limited.
There's a fund for doctors and dentists
(Pro Fund): for farmers (Farm Bureau
1 Fund); for teachers (N. E. A. Mu.
und): for airline pilots (Contrails
Growth Fund); and even for cemetery
c Investment Fund)
e funds it invest only in other
funds (Pooled Funds, and First Multi
fund of America) and funds that invest
only in specific industries, Oceanographic
Fund and Ocean Technology Fund, for
example, are pledged to invest almost
exclusively underwater; International In
vestors, among others, keeps а fixed. per-
e of its assets in gold-mining stocks:
Life & Growth Stock Fund ollers a
portfolio of growth stocks and lifein
surance companies; Century Shares Trust
«oncenuates on insurance and bank stocks:
id. Conglomei nd
Convertible Securities Fund concentrate on
— you guessed it—corporate conglomerates
and convertible bonds. Corporate Leaders
Trust holds only the biggest and best-
known companies, making it similar to
Founders Mutual. Fund, wh
rrogantly pledged to “full
all times in 40 common stocks selected be
cause of dom nce in their own industrial
classification." There's а fund that spe-
dializes im the sophisticated. investment
technique called arbitrage (Fürst Pruden-
tial ge Fund), а fund open only
to $20.000-aycar-and-over employees of
| Electric (it's called Ellun Trust
s 10,000 shareholders): and there's
a fund for German subscribers to The
Reader's Digest. Since this is available only
in Germany, American Digest fans might
want to investigate Vanderbilt Mutual
d, which "does not invest in liquor,
tobacco or drug stocks" -or Provident
Fund for Income, which "does not in
vest in liquor. tobacco, gambling, drug
or foreign securities.” Mates. Fund. the
top performer for most of 1968, shuns
tobacco and booze, and also avoids
firms пу way connected with the
munit industry; it may or may
not be the fund found
ate Fund of Ame
vesime
M was forced to
tions. Followers of Jeremy
hams economics will be delighted
the
Fund,
old
ance: the fund is barely a
nd alr
year
ly one underachieving manage
ment team has been thrown out of the
ing. Among the 175-odd funds awaiting
EC clearance at this writing was one
ibat would enjoy all the usual fund
prerogatives, as well as the ability to buy
contiolling interest in other businesses,
al estate and to speculate in
ul yer another fund. now
nis to concentrate solely
s im the environs of Roch
New York.
to develop re
ester
Besides the bewildering ar
tual funds, each fund oflers
s in which the investor ¢
to be played with the profits whenever
they arrive, and a surprisingly broad
spectrum of charges that the investor
year and—in some cases—for ultimately
getting out, The annual management
charge and the getting-out cost
terribly significant to the small investor
(în the mutual-fund dictio: thats
anyone with under 510,000 invested). but
the entry fees which consist largely of
s be formida
ble. Most funds charge an initiation fec
amounting to 9.3 percent of your invest
ment; some charge less (between one and
tight percent) and around 60 funds
charge nothing at all. (Examples will be
discussed later) The funds that charge
decisions; but. it
self-ser
ns that these
е funds are more difficult. to
extra effort
To invest in a fund, you c
put up as much cash as you care to
(though most funds demand a minimum);
you Gin put up some money and declare
your intention to pay more
relatively short time; or you can sign a
contract committing yourself to fixed
payments over а much longer period,
perhaps five or ten years, sometimes with
the fillip of an elaborate insurance pro
m to assure that the money will be
c even if you There are
п such contra
few people for whe
tual agreements may be a good bet, but
most
them.
investors would do well to avoid
The funds themselves like to er
€ that the future is unpredictable,
and such contract pl. penalize the
investor if, the time comes, he
doesn't саге to fulfill his commitments.
And по matter what the funds say, no
investor should sign a mutual-fund pur
chase contract in which most of the sales
man’s commissions for the entire term of
the contract will be extracted from the
first year’s payments, In such arrange.
ments, about half the first year's “inves
gocs not but into a
salesmun's pocket: the SEC with. some
justification is trying to make such deals
illegal.
If this range of choices doesn't se
wide enough, there's also a broad |
ply of fundlike institutions—discussed in
detail later—that serve the same ge
eral purposes but can’t call themselves
atual funds because they are differently
constituted; u 1 funds, these
are sold on the stock exchanges, just like
(continued on page 161)
when
into
п
ano-
everything was changing so fast, you
had to be a real phony to keep up
fiction By FRANK M. ROBINSON
A LIFE IN THE DAY OF
LB
YT WAS GOING TO BE A GREAT PARTY, Је thought, inspecting himself in the bathroom mirror, even if it had been a pain
in the ass to get ready for. He'd had his sideburns professionally trimmed, but the mustache and beard he'd had to
do himself, shaping the beard carefully so it curled under just so and working on the mustache literally hair by hair,
to get it to lie right. But the effect was worth itlar out, but not too far.
He smiled at the mirror and his image smiled back: long brown hair I
his forehead cui
say what you wanted to about WASPs, man, but they weren't h:
him and he tried а lew other expressions, The Since
the living room into the bedroom: the youthful Anything Is Possible IF You Only Believe look; the Help Me! look,
lor the older cr d, finally, the turn-off one of Irritated Uninterest. Not bad, not bad at all.
One last smile and he shook his h in pleased amazement. Damn, he was a good-looking bastard! God bless
genetics or whatever.
He stepped back from the mirror and smoothed his toga arment, carefully draped over his left shoulder
and caught just above the ankle, Great, just great! He'd picked it up from the Hare Krishna people, but in another
month or so it'd be the * thing, Xis thing. He splashed a little lime lotion on his face, flashed a congratulatory look
ling to his shoulders, with the bangs oyer
h even and white, skin a smooth healthy
at the mirror, then padded into the
room for a final check.
The stereo had been programed for
early Glenn Miller at the start—good for
mood music as well as а Laugh—thi
old Beatles tape, plus some country rock
around midnight, when everybody was
stoned out of his gourd on grass or wine
and to finish up with some harpsichord
tracks when people wanted to make out.
Chips and dip, salami and cheese on
B
the coffee table under the Saran Wrap
(risky, but a great ploy— Its just to
remind us, man"—and he could get away
with it). The new Barb, an old copy of
Crawdaddy and especially Tuesday's is
sue of the Times. The one with the
photograph showing him clutching his
STUDENTS FOR FREEDOM sign just before
the pigs waded in, The photographer
had caugh him just right—nobody
could look at it without feeling for him
—but he liked the caption суеп better.
Youth in anguish.” Youthful innocence.
the hope of tomorrow (all summed up
in himself) being crushed by the fascist
state. What was the name of the kid who
had really been hit? The ugly kid with
glasses? He couldn't remember, but it
really didn't matter.
And then the frontdoor buzzer was
blasting away and he straightened up.
smoothed the wrinkles from his toga and
ler The Smile flood face like lı
from the morning su
By ten o'dock, the party was going
full blast. the sterco blaring, couples
sprawling out on the rugs and couches.
people rapping in little groups, а few
huddling turning on—only
God kn А brought what, but
there were а lot of glazed looks float
around. Politically, it was prety well
balanced. A few old-line activists, but
mostly second. echelon. all of whom had
seen the Times and really fell out when
he flashed on them.
Some over-30s, but that
only made for contrast,
sow the hell.
And then a chick was
plastered up against
him and it took him a
scond to place her.
How long had it been
since he had done a
number with Suc? Jesus,
she had bæn forget-
table. He wondered
who she had come with;
he sure as hell hadn't
invited her.
It's a great party,
Jeff, really great," she
breathed, and he felt
like telling her to go
brush her teeth. There
was a brief lull in the
music and for a mo-
ment, the background
noises came crashing
through—cubes tinkling
in glasses, a chick gig
pling, some kid cough-
ing, who hadn't been
able to hold in thc
smoke. the overloud
talking of people not
yet adjusted to the sud-
den silence.
There had been а
sticky moment carlier
in the evening, when
an older type had shown up, with a gu
yet: there was nothing for it but to
company the square on a battered 12-
string Jeff kept hidden in the doset, then
do a solo number before flashing а smile
and saying, “This is a party, not a per
formance,” and turning the stereo back
on. Mr. Man was pretty well out of
it by then and was now sitting on the big
beat-up couch by the window, staring
moodily out at the night.
. Been so long,” Sue was s
iying to sock it in. He
aware of her; all he wanted to do was
get away, get a drink and rap with the
little blonde in the living room who had
been so awed by him earlier.
Accusingly: “You're not listening!”
Oh, God. . . . He peeled her hand off
his shoulder and felt her stiffen. The
ht from the kitchen pale, but he
could make out the faint veins pulsing
in her neck and the fine network of lines
starting to firm up around her eyes, “I'm
ILLUSTRATIONS BY GENE SZAFRAN
sorry, Sue, you were saying something?”
Messy bit, but if he didn’t let her know
the score, somebody else would—you get
to be 25, man, you're a stone drag. Phen
he had pulled loose, mumbling а bland
use. Suc, gotta fill my cup.” and she
fled past him into the living room. to
fold up on the couch next to Mr. Guitar
Man. Maybe they deserved each other,
he thought. American Gothic, up to
date.
And then he had refilled hy
paper cup
from the jug of rosé on the coffee table
nd
nd the party was picking up a
it was great, just great.
“Gee, Mr, Beall, I saw your picture
the Times with the pig clubbing you."
A freshman, the warm wine sweat glis-
tening on his smooth cheeks— Jeff had
seen him hanging around the edges of
the sitin at the Poly Sci lecture hall. "It
didn't hurt—the pigs are all queer, they
don't too hard.”
"It must've been а really inside trip,”
the kid said sympathetically, then drifted
off, while Jeff frowned after him and
wondered uneasily just what the hell the
kid had meant to say, and reflected, but
only for a moment, how great it would
be to be 17 again. Then he started
ping at the wine and let the conversa-
ns in the room close over n like
soapy water over dishes in a sink.
M The synthetics are really a bum-
айй; eee
". . . Trustees are out to kill the third
world. ... ."
“. . . Sure, but Dylan copped out,
man.
Soul food, that's an issue. . . 7
“Fuck the estab Jef said
miably to nobody in particular, "then
ducked into the kitchen for a refill on
the salami. The blonde was in a corner
with a shorthaired squeaky«lean wear-
ing a Nehru jacket and beads—the poor
slob had been stuck with hand-medo
He was also very stoned and the chick
looked like she badly needed rescuing.
He picked up a couple of plates of
lunch meat and said, "Hey, chickie, how
about a hand?" and she slipped away
and flashed him a grateful smile, She was
maybe 17, with waistlong hair and green
cyes—she definitely made the other
chicks at the party look like old hags-
"Look, man, she came with me, she's
The Level. Reserved look, eyes slightly
narrowed. “You some sort of react
man? You dont own anybod
then he had shoved the chick into the
living room and he was dumping the
plates onto the table. Somebody offered
n a joint and he took a toke and
passed the roach on to the girl, Always
take a puff for social standing, but never
get stoned; too easy to let down the old
eyed and he nodded 10
the one, all (continued on page 212)
ае аот ee
ATTENTION
та@' ну SC) ss
OARCLE
STOWAWAY
МАВВІТ DETONATE
detache d
millioooooonaire .
JANUARY'S CURVACEOUS CONINIE KRESKI,
WELL ON HER WAY TO CINEMATIC STARDOM,
NOW REIGNS AS THE PREMIER GATEFOLD GIRL OF
THE PAST TWELVEMONTH
BEAUTY AND TALENT, particularly of the cinematic variety
abounded among 1968's delightful dozen Playmates. But editors
unanimously concurred that. our first was also foremost and
hailed January's Connie Kreski as undisputed Playmate of the
Year. Her ingenuous freshness and femininity. so apparent
в. was immediately recog
in PLAYBOYS photographic uncoveragi
nized by England's Anthony Newley
producer-dircctor literally bumped into her in the eleva
our London Club a little more than a year ago: he screen
tested her the next day and signed her within the week for a titk
role in Сап Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget. Mercy Humppy
and Find True Happines?—the Freud- and fun-filled fantasy
previewed in rLaysoy last March. Connie remained in London
after her debut before the cameras on the island of Майа. “I
should have been born in London,” says 1908's choicest center
fold. “I love the people and especially the feeling of openness
and space. There's grass all (text continued on page 160)
s well, The actor-author
“CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE PUSHED ME INTO ACTING NOW AND
| LOVE IT," CONNIE TELLS US. HER NEW PLAYMATE PINK
SHELBY GT 500 SHOULD PROVIDE ATTENTION-GETTING TRANS
PORTATION TO AND FROM THE UNIVERSAL SOUND STAGES.
"THE BEST PART OF FILM WORK IS MEETING REALLY CREATIVE PEOPLE," CONNIE SAYS, RELAXING BEFORE A STUDIO САЦ.
TOO MANY PRODUCERS EMPHASIZE LOOKS OVER ACTING ABILITY," SAYS CONNIE, “1 HOPE TO COMBINE BOTH IN MY CAREER."
> MUTUAL FUNDS „сарон page 152)
PLAYBO
164
common stocks. You incur ordinary stock-
broker costs to buy or sell them, but mar-
ket fluctuations sometimes make these
special shares a t bargain-base
Like their no-comm
cousins, these outfits also lack salesmen, so
they. too, arc more difficult to learn about,
Somewhere in this forest of alteri
tives, there's a fund for almost every type
of investor and for almost every invest-
iment goal, but. the search isn't made any
er by the fact that most information
bout f and ob-
"mutual
fund” itself is part of the and in
ne ways it's an unfortunate term. since
excludes а whole class of. investment
compames t shouldn't: be excluded.
“Mutual fund" is the popular term for
what are properly called open-end invest-
ment com i asted with closed-
end investment companies (the ones sold
оп the exchanges. just like stocks). From
the investor's point of view, there are
two types of openend investment. com-
panies: those that charge commissions
and those that don’t. The commission
the noncommission
nd the two comprise а
percent of the :
ness. Mutual funds are “open-ended” be-
cause they create. new shares оп demand
for any investor who is willing 10 pay
for them; then they use this money io
make more investments. They will с:
in shares (redeem them, in financial. jar
gon) whenever shareholders request it
The shares that are turned in simply cease
to exist, and the fund's capitalization
shrinks accordingly. In. other. words, the
number of shares in an open-end invest-
ment company is not fixed: it rises as new
shares are sold and diminishes as unwanted.
re redeemed.
гу corporations could never get
ase they cut place
curate value on many of their assets
such as real estate, whose worth de-
pends largely on how someone
might be to buy it, or
about as tangible as
corporate shares are sold in the v
stock markets. The markets permi
investing public to set ity own value on
at it thinks cach sl
ever tual funds’
solely of stocks and bonds (and um
some cash), and since all these invest-
ments have a specific stockmarket. value
at any given moment, mutual funds can
compute their net ast value instantly,
right down to the last penny. Usually,
the funds make these computations once
or twice each business day, and the
figures are published in most daily news-
papers. On one afternoon, for example,
I the investments and cash in a fund's
portfolio might be worth 510.000.000—
ment prices
So
соп!
eaper
e is worth. How-
since m consist
quite modest for a fund these davs—and
the fund might have 2,000,000 shares in
the hands of the public. The net asset
fund
has paid all its bills) would then be
precisely five dollars. Any of the fund's
investors could redeem his shares and
receive five dollars for each
who м
purchase sh
(in most cases) the con
doubtless because of its size, is called a
The funds that charge com
at or near the lega ximum rate of
9.580 percent are called load funds.
Those that charge somewhat less than
the full rate are called lowdoad funds,
and those especially interesting ones tha
charge noth t all are called no-load
funds.
A good knowledge of how mutua
fund commissions actually work
tremely useful to anyone who hopes to
make an intelli, . Unfortu.
nately, a discussion of commissions touch
so closely on the funds’ self-interest. t
reliable information extremely hard
to come by. We will consider the co
mission question at some length: but
for the nonce, it's sufficient for th
ader to understand that the comm
sion money he pays when he buys
fund does not go to the people who run it.
1t goes to those who sell the shares, usu-
ally stockbrokers or salem
have no comection with the fund itself.
The people who run the fund are paid
not from commissions but from the
fund's investment income. Typically, the
fund management takes an annual fee
equal to one-half percent of the fund's
total asset value. That doesn't sound like
much. and for most investors it isn't. If
you own 35000 worth of a fund. for
instance ged about $25
а year for all that div tion and pro-
fessional gement, For smallish
tors, this is certainly a bargain—less, in
fact, than the cost of a year's subscrip-
tion to The Wall Street Journal. But if
the fund has assets totaling one billion
dollars (there are currently ten funds
Over that k). management fees c
come to $5,000,000 a year—which ought
most of the experts in the со
e belatedly recog:
ement costs do not rise
directly with the size of the assets super
vised. and these enlightened funds ге
duce the management percentage as the
load.
ission
is ex
who often
you're bein
ave:
9
fund grows. Other funds reward manage-
ment not just according to size but on
the basis of how well the fund. performs;
is commendable
such an arrangement
not only because it re
hut because it provides the fu
ers with an incentive to do more than
just lure in new shareholders.
Mutual funds make money for their
shareholders in two ways: from dividends
(or other income from their invest
ments) and from selling their invest
ments
t а profit, Like most companies.
funds pay dividends to their stockhold
ers usually quarterly. Each investor i
the fund gets his portion of all the
dividends the fund receives from. the
various investments in its portfolio. after
operating expenses (including manage
ments ан) have been deduced. Гах
law all bur compels ihe funds 10 pass
such dividend income along u
holders. The fund pays no taxes on th
money, because it simply acs as a pipe
line channeling the dividends to its in
vestors, who then pay taxes on it. (Under
curent лах Там, however, eadh tax
payers first S100 in dividends—indud-
ing dividends passed on by mutual funds
free, a point well worth the
ideration of those who doi сш
ппу receive dividend income. Interest
income—such as the interest [rom sax
bank
—is tà
со!
bonds or
taxable.)
From time to time, a mutual fund will
also run up profits or losses when it sells
investments from its portfolio. If th
acounts—is ful
fund has held such investments for more
than six months, the profits are long
term capital gains, Long-term capital
gains, as every investor should. know.
мі at lower rates than ordinary
at half the taxpayers ordinary
- whichever is les The
sharcholde pay this
ax en his portion of the fund's
Though
ining the
mutual fund
must
lower
capital-gains profits each. year
the fund has the option of те
profits (and paying the tax on the inves
tor's. behalf), it usually returns the mon
ey to the shareholders in what is called a
capital gains distribution, which is made
nually.
However, funds strongly urge sh
holders to accept capital gains. dis
tions—and even dividends—not in cash
but in additional shares of the fund. This
provides the fund managers with more
money with which to make new invest
ments, and it also gives them an ever
larger pie from which to extract
cut. More important, however, are the
advantages that reinvest
for the shareholders ihi
usually permit sharcholders
all their profits without. рауй
al commissions. Mutual-fund profits can
thus compound nosi riding
manner. and the fund share owner who
reinvests all his profits is reasonably as
sured that not erode the
value of his original investment. More
than 70 percent of all tund shareholders
elect to take their capital g
tional shares; the percentage of investors
taking their dividends in 4
(continued on page 186)
1 provides
Funds
selves.
rew
s in addi
os is lowe
WANDA HICKEY'S NIGHT Or GOL
PUBERTY RITES more pr
most invariably
ul traumatic experiences
ГУ set as
in his high. nasal
might a week,
к sch Ediscipli
nitive
tribal
painful
1 hall dozed in front of my
the speaker droned o
One
societies ше
voice as a form of
1 sentence my
mum of three hours viewing
on. Like so many othe:
educitional TV is a great
bul a miserable reality: murky films
ol home Ше Kurdistan, jowly English
thors being interviewed by jowly Eng.
in lile
lish literary critics, pinehed-faced ladics
humor
EAN SHEPHERD
ich the proust of the indiana
plains recalls a heart-rending
celebration of that most american
f adolescent rituals,
the junior prom
EN MEMORIES
demonstrat
But I watch
because it is there
А classic ex
ribe of lower Micron
continued, tapping a pointer on the map
behind hı
1 ol
appeared. on the
misery,
forward
familiar.
When an Ugga Buggah reaches pu
bey. the page 168)
hniques.
wsly—l suppose
an t
rolling in
bathed in sweat. |
His expression
face leaned
was strangely
(continued. on
PLAYBOY
^ Some
"Why don't you bug out now and ГЇЇ call you Friday."
the lady in green slippers
IN THE YEAR 1756, I was living in Paris and working as a
journeyman at the printing house of Claude Hérissant in the
Rue Notre-Dame. I was just 22, bold, good-looking and
attractive to the fair sex—or so I thought. It was May 27,
on which a humiliating adventure befell me.
With my friend Boudard, I had gone out one morning to
ings of another friend, Renaud. Just as we
were crossing the Pont Saint-Michel, we met a very pretty
» her husband, a man dressed in black, wearing а
square wig with three bobs, who looked like a lawyer. 1 had
never seen a lovelier of the lady, a more
provocative and elegant dress Шап the one she wore, but
most particularly—never more charming feet, shod in a beau-
tiful pair of green slippers. I thought I would never stop
looking, and Boudard had to call те several times.
During dinner, I could think of nothing but this encounter,
and I spoke about it a great deal. Afterward, we walked in
the Tuileries gardens and I was far from calm. I was inflamed
by a restless desire and passion aroused by the sight of that
delicate nymph in the green slippers. Finally, I made my
excuses to the others and went away. About eight o'clock in
the evening, I found myself in my own district and, in fact,
near the end of the litle Rue des Prêtres, where lived La
Macé, one of my compatriots from Nitry. She was a fairly
well-known procures.
She was stationed on her doorstep; when she caught sight of
me, she threw up her hands with joy and asked me how I was
keeping, “Very well,” I said.
“What brings you here?” she said.
“Oh, just strolling,” I s
“How long has it been since you had a girl?” she said.
“A long, long time!” I said
“Good. I am in a position to provide you with a delightful
adv
she
Twas i
since midday, when, crossing the Pont
prettiest woman а man ever set eyes on."
“Whoever she із, even Madame de Pompadour herself, the
one 1 have for you is her equal. Come in and I'll give you а
book with some very clever pictures to amuse you while you
enture, a unique adventure that won't cost you a penny,’
said.
trigued. "Gladly—because I have been on fire ever
int-Michel, I met the
It was rather cold that evening. I settled down on a sofa by
a blazing fire and picked up the book. It was Dom Bougre
and I had just reached the part where Saturnin and little
Suzette are looking through a crack to sce what is going on in
"Toineue's bedroom when the door opened and La Mac came
in with a torch. A young nymph was following her. To my
utmost astonishment, it was my beautiful lady of the Pont
nt-Michel, dressed in the same clothes, even down to the
dainty green slippers!
Without ado, she threw her arms about my neck and began
to play the whore to the best of her ability. Ac 11 o'clock, La
Macé cune in with a tasty supper and some liqueur that
inflamed me even more. The lady was so ravishing that she
was ravished many times. I had never seen such nobility,
assurance and passionate wantonness before. At one o'clock, I
could plow no more and I fell asleep,
I woke in bed with one of La Mace's prettiest whores beside
ше. "Where is the lady?" I shouted to La Macé,
Right beside you,” she said, “It is the 19
It is not the same,” I said. “This is Spirette Laval, one of
your prettiest whores,
“You drank too much wine and liqueur last n
©. "It is the same.”
Exhausted and depressed, 1 went out and wandered to the
Pont-Neuf, where I sat down on a stone bench, After a long
time, 1 raised my head to watch а large carriage full of ladics
going by. They were gaily dressed and seemed to be returning
from some ball. Then, to my great bewilderment, I saw my
lovely companion of the night before sitting in a place of
ght,” said La
from “Monsieur Nicholas” by Restif de la Bretonne
Ribald Classic
honor among them. She did not notice me. I ran after the
carriage, hoping that fate would permit me to discover the
identity of the lady; but my strength failed me and at last I
had to stop.
and entered the box of the Gentlemen of the Chamber. 1
inquired her name and was told it—a name of such exalted
rank that the thought took my breath away. I was afraid to
pursue any further. Shortly after this, I pointed out to
Boudard—who knew all the Paris gossip—that gentleman in
the square wig who had accompanied the lady on the Pont
Saint-Michel. Boudard assured me that he was not the lady's
husband but a lawyer employed by her; he often served as her
escort when she made trips to various parts of the city.
Still the anguish of that mystery remained. I could never
forget the astonishment of those circumstances on the night of
тау life's greatest pleasure,
It was nearly twee years after this that the revelation, in all
its horror, came to me. I was drinking wine with a company
of acquaintances in a house in the Rue de la Harpe when a
certain gentleman happened to mention the name of the
Comtesse d'E— This was the вате mysterious lady. “And
BRAD HOLLAND
what do you know of her?" I asked.
“It а most curious story,” he said. "The lady has an
unfortunate history, though she is at heart a person of modest
ighier of a duke and was
ma
excesses are notorious—not only did he betray his wife many
but he actually refused to sleep with her. The poor
given over to a mania for revenge, conceived the idea of
g with another man, then getting Monsieur le Comte
runk and into her bed for once—which would explain the
child that ensued nine months later. It was a matter of con-
tempt repaying contempt, injustice for injustice.
"But" I protested, "if the comte were really under the
impression that the child was his own, how, then, would he
feel the sting of the lady's revenge?”
“Ah.” said the lawyer's clerk in the square wig imitated
from that of his master, “that is very simple. The comte. for
the rest of his life, must lam: the shortcomings of ‘his’ son.
So, to accomplish this, the lady went God knows where and
found some wretch to serve as the real father. His only
qualification, in the lady's eyes, was that he be
crookfaced, illfavored, ignorant and degen
man who had been hanged on the gallows and left seven days
in the sun, Somewhere she found such a man.
—Retold by Jonah Crai
PLAYBOY
NIGHT OF GOLDEN MEMORIES
nd unvarving for both
aces are performed and
adulthood must eat a
meal during the post-
rites are rigoron
sexes. Difficult d.
the candidate fo
sickening rit
1. the top.
sping his A pple like an iron
tongue lolling out in pain.
“The adults attend these tribal rituals
perones and observers. and
look upon the ceremony with indulgence.
Here we see the 1 dance in progress."
A heavy rumble of dr then a
moiling herd of sweati her-clad.
dancers of both sexes appeared on screen
amid a great cloud of dust.
ОГ course, we in more sophisticated
socicties no longer observe these rites.”
Somehow. the scene was 100 painful
lor me to con ng. Somethin
dark and lurk awakened i
my breast.
“What the hell do vou mean we don't
observe. puberty ries?" 1 mumbled rhe-
torically as 1 got up aud switched off the
set. Reaching up to the top bookshelf. T
took down a leatherete-covered. volume.
my high school class yearbook. I
afed through the pages of photographs:
biology teachers, pimply-faced
lantern ll coaches.
Suddenly, there it was—a sharply etched
photographic record of a true pube
the primitive tribes of north-
ng had been
"The Junior Prom
ved by one and all. The
annual event was held this year at the
Cherrywood Country. Club. Mickey be
ley and his Magic Music. Makers. pro-
vided the romantic rhythms. АП agreed
s an unforgettable evening. the
True enough. In the
of my Manhattan a
back
"You going to ihe prom?" asked
Schwartz, as we chewed on our salami
sandwiches under the stands of tlic foot-
ball field, where we preferred for. some
reason to take lunch at that period of
our lives.
"Yep. 1 guess во,
as E could.
“Who ya
discusion.
on
T answered as coolly
takin’?
king
Flick joined the
t à bottle of Neh
orange.
"1 don't know. I was thinking of
Daphne Bigelow.” 1 had dropped the
of the most spectacular girl in the
re high school, if not in the state of
a itself.
name
ted
in a
(continued from page 165)
tone of proper awe and respect. tinged
with disbelief.
"Yep. E figure I'd give her
Flick snorted, the казу orange pop
going down the wrong pipe. He coughed
and wheezed brokenly for
ments.
I had once dated Daphne Bigelow
and, although the occasion, as faithful
readers will recall, was not it riotous suc
cess, E felt that I was still in the runni
Several occasions in the past. month ha
led me to believe that I king a
comeback wii
disinaly acknowledged my presence in
the halls between dasses, once actually
speaking to me.
“Oh, hi th
that mu
hi. D.
ph,” I had replied
witily. The fact that my name is not
Fred is neither here nor there: she had
spoken ло me. She had remembered. my
face from somewl
go formal.” said Schw
read on the bulletin board where
уа gotta we; г formal to the
prom."
“No kiddin?” Flick had finished off
the orange and was now fully with us.
“What's a summer formal?”
“That's where you wear
white coats,” T explained. I was known
as the resident expert in our group on
all forms of high life. This was because
my mother was a fanatical Fred Astaire
ariz. "T
said
"Ya gort
т а sumni
г of those
h опе of
ceived a prim white envelope cont
an engraved invitation
us re-
ng
The Junior Class is proud to in-
wite you lo the Junior Prom, to be
held al the Cherrywood Country
Club beginning eight em. June
fifth. Dance to the music of Mickey
Iseley and Ins Magic Music Makers,
Summer formal required.
The Committee
tion I
wed, The puberty rites had
1 the supper
k was of nothing else.
gonna take?" my old man
Tight to the heart of the
maner. Who vou were taking to the
prom was considered a highly sign
decision. possibly affecting. your whole
life, which. in some tragic cases, it did.
‘Oh, I don't know. 1 was t
couple of girls.” 1 replied in ;
manner, as though this slight
didn't concern me at all. My ki
who was takin
interest, sneered derisively and went
back to shoveling in his red cbl He
had not yet discovered girls. My mother
the me
Tt was the first engraved invit
had ever rec
paused while slic
“Why take that nice Wanda
Hickey?"
w, come on, Ma. Thi
This is important. You don't take Y
da Hickey to the prom.
Wanda Hickey was the only girl who I
knew for an absolute fact liked me. Ever
since we had been in third grade, Wanda
not
s the prom.
m
soci:
jokes and once, wher
ly sent me a valenti
loitering around the tennis courts, the
ball diamonds, the alleys where on long
summer nights we played kick the can
or siphoned gas to keep Flick's Chevy
running, In Lact. there were times. whi
I couldn't shake her.
Nah, I haven't decided who I'm gon-
па take. 1 was kind of thinking of
Daphne Bigelow.”
The old man set his boule of Pabst
Blue Ribbon down carefully on the ta-
ble. Daphne Bigelow was the daughter of
of the lager men in town. There
in truth, a street named after her
ош
ton for punishment,
The old man licked
m off the table. He was referring
unforgettable evening I had once
thar
spent with Daphne in my callow youth.
"Oh, well, you might as well lean
Jewon once and for all.”
He was in one of |
The White Sox had
ight, and а los
that usually brought ou
de. He 1
some smoke toward the ceiling and w
п: "Yep. Too many guys seule for the
fist skit that shows up. And re
the rest of their lives.
Ignoring the innuendo, my mother set
the mashed potatoes down on the table
1 said, “Well, [think Wanda is а very
nice girl. But then, what 1 think doesn’t
your
is philosophical
moods. dr
1 the practiced. turn of
е veteran martyr, whose role
s publicly as posible.
summer formal 1
rent а
1 wear one a’ them
the old chuckled.
wledge, worn
monkey suits?
He had never, to
nore formal th
er in his life.
“Tm going down to that place on Hoh-
n Avenue tomorrow with Schwartz and
about it.”
“Oh, boy! Ladida” said my kid
brother with churacteristically eloquent
understatement. Like Lather, like son.
The next day, aher school, Schwartz
and I went downtown to a place we both
| passed countless times in our daily
meanderings. Hanging out over tl
sucer was the cutout of а tall, cream.
faced man dressed 10 the nines in high
silk hat, stiff starched shirt, swallow-tailed
(continued on page 220)
attire By ROBERT L. GREEN
see the shirt. see the man under the shirt. cool, man, cool
HEAT-REATING SEE-THROUGH SHIRTS with tapered body and full sleeves are shaping up
as this warm-weather season's aitiest attraction. To succeed with this adventuresome
fashion—a look that’s right out of a 19th Century romantic novel—the wearer
should be а bit of a sartorial grandee, preferably with the lean build of a first-rate
fencing master. И you fill the bill, try an elegant combination of a comfortable and
contemporary white, black or brown open-weave shirt with a pair of velvet or tricot
flared slacks and a loosely tied scarf. The man here keeps matters well in hand while
making the most of a delightfully ticklish situation; he's donned a cotton lace shirt
that features a long-pointed collar and button culls, by Mike Weber for Boutique
Sportswear, $16, with an art nouveau-patterned silk neck scarf, by Handcraft, $8. 169
PHOTOGRAPH BY ALEXAS URBA
170
Ё YNOPSIS:
QostLEMAN, сот
TO DESTROY LYDIA
¢ YOUNG SOCIALITE BRUCE MAIM WED
CENT АЙА COUPLAND Е МММ HAS OUST
SORRY LYDIA, THE HONEYMOON
WILL HAVE TO WAIT. ROBERT HY
VALE SECRETARY, AND Т HAVE,
i
EVERY, МТ,
1и. (N
Te MORNING 4
[s THE YEARS mes LYDIA
` CROWS EMBITTERED. . -
LPS
OH, HOW Т DESPISE ALL HER!
I WOULDN'T ONC FOR
Grow ER
OE NER т т
LYDIA, THIS Б
BRUCE. ROBERT
AND I ARE
171
PLAYBOY
172
AX NOW Roonn f N TE TLE OF THE CENTURY!
HOSTILEMAN vs. MANLYWOMAN: / 1022
<\ > у
ZUG ROUND Z
AA AAA
YOU CLOSET QUEENS
ARE ALWAYS NOS-
(06 AROUND
DMIUAUT „
WOMEN!
UNDERNEATH ALL THAT Y
COOL, YOURE SCARED
TO ATH OF PENG
SWALLOWED ALIVE.
ADMIT IT! і
۸ IT MUST BE
QUITE A NUISAUCE
To YOU АМ? THE
OTHER LESBIANS!
You ramenc, P3
M FRUSTRATED,
WER- 4
WHAT Т I WNT Ha S
ү
ШЕ MANS ROUNDIA
ОРОЛУ ROUND 5 Zl i ROY
ооа | i,
ID кте, Ў гр TAKE %0
< №
Ір BRENK
OU IW BED!
(Ap: on
\
IF YOUD LET
GO OF
baa
SMALL, YOURSELF
FIND «00 ЖУЛ
HAVE ANY
TROUBLE.
PLAYBOY
SANG ems
HEAVENLY!
ABSOLUTELY TOO MUCH } IVE BEEN AT || BESIDES WHAT Ў (т woop
HEAVENLY! OF M4 HOSTILITY FOR] | RT OF HAVE O
TCO MANY RELATIONSHIP ( BE SICK.
INVESTED IN \ YEARS TO COULD WE
SELL OUT AT | | POSSIBLY
BUILD ?
DATE FOR
UP JUST Fil T
Ee SEX. FULFILLMEM
DESPISING
MEN To
DN OUR
PATHS NEVER
CROSS AGAIN.
PLAYEOY
176
RISK TAKERS
parachutist to photograph himself in
flight. He did that in 1934
But 1 do not know if I believe him
about Lack of fear. To get a photo of a
«obra striking, he decided, he would
have to give it something to strike. Why
not himself? Why not, indeed. He built
a plastic shield around his camera, pro-
voked the cobra and it came right through
the shield and hit his hand, missing a
grip on the hand but pumping out enough
venom to kill approximately 22 people.
Severin dropped the camera, which
broke open, spoiling the film. Another,
stronger shield w: time,
Severin got the shot h
“Tm not afraid of snakes or sharks or
als. I'm afraid of bugs, though. I'm
afraid of d 1 once slept in the bed
of y 1 just died of yellow
fever. I didn't know it at the time,
course. Later, 1 was scared for eight
days. It is not a funny feeling to think
be encroaching on
something might
уо
Severin speaks five languages, pla
the violin and is interested in painting,
ballet and classical music. When he
talks, he makes excellent sense; it is only
when vou mull over, later, what he has
said that you become awed, or appalled.
Fear of snakes is all in the mind,” he
says. "Snakes are not slimy. As a matter
of fact, they have a very pleasant touch
I's like plastic, Its really quite nice.”
tever Severin may think about
; most other habitual risk takers are
olten terrified, and they admit it. In
fact, what most separates them from the
rest of us is not that they risk death but
that they subject themselves to frequent
terror, an emotion most of us struggle to
avoid at all costs.
Every racing driver, every time he
loses control ol a car and waits lor it to
bit wh going to hit, is ter-
fied. Every matador, when be is down
d the bull is on him, is terrified, EL
Cordobés, gored by the first bull he ever
faced in Madrid, lay on the sand with
the horn rooting about in his intestines:
“It wasn't the pain D was worried abo
it was the fear. When 1 felt the horn in-
me, 1 was so scared 1 thought my
nd J would dic of the
ever it
sic
heart would мор
L
José Meiffret on his record bike is
scared —he carries his last will and tes
ment in his jersey pocket. The ironwork-
cr. Eddie Lannielli, is scared by every
accident: "When something happ 1
your fear comes back. but you suppress
и. You just put it ош of your mind." He
talks about his most recent accident. He
g on top of a beam about wo
p. and the bolis at the base of
the uprights broke or pulled out
whole thing fell over sideways. Eddie
suffered a back injury that kept him out
ns,
was
stories
nd the
(continued from pas
e 150)
of work for m o matter
how much youre pre] lor some-
thing like that to happen, it happens so
fast you're not prepared for it. A lot of
guys get killed, and I'm still alive and
I'm very grateful.”
The climber, Bonati
much terror
more. Climbing
unable to find two other climbers
higher up, as night fell. At 27,000 feet,
unable in the darkness to go up or
down, without any food, heat or shelter
has known as
of any kind, he was forced to spend the
ight in the open on an ice shelf, be
ing himself with his arms all night to
keep himself awake and alive. That w
prolonged terror.
Innumerable times, Bonatti has found
himself clinging to some sheer wall, cer-
tain (for the moment) there was no
possible way to go either up or down.
On die Lavaredo in Italy, һе had ıo
inch across a ledge of snow. On
the Dru ‚ he had to lasso a jut-
ng projection and swing across the
void like Tarzan, while wondering if the
торе would slip olf or rhe. projection
snap. Once, he was caught in a storm
with six other men on a narrow ledge on
Mont Blanc. Lightning was attracted
by the group's sick of pitons, ice
and such. Bolt after bolt blasted
Kled around the group. The
ated with electricity
was
They could
not get rid of the cursed sacks of steel—
satu
hout them, they could get neither up
nor down the mountain. They simply
had to huddle there, terrified, wait
«d or blasted off the ledge. 2
in, lightning crashed
iti found himself screamin
screaming.
known good many people
abitually take risks; and although
d a number of them say they
enjoy the danger. I have never heard
опе sty he enjoyed the terror.
Hab risk takers are able to do
be fri
what they do. first because they sup-
press (or. in some cases, eliminate) cer-
fears that * normal in all of us:
of height, fear of the depths of ihe
fear of excessive speed. fear of bullets
d bombs. fear of wild beasts, fear of
snakes. АП of these fears. in them as in
us, are basically fear of the unknown.
Once all the facts and details are ki
the [ears become much less fearsome
a says, snakes
¢ you know that,
raid. In fact. he
almost all feared creates “will sc
out of there at the approach of v
sharks were as dangerous as write
of our beaches would be un:
In other words, at least p Е
in's bravery is only knowledge. Similar-
ly. the bullfighier is not norma
of the bull, be
learning how to hi
spent у
adle bulls, just as the
racing driver has spent years learning
how to control speed that would fright-
en most of us. The mountaineer knows
rocks, knows which fissures will hold a
piton and which won't; and hc
knows that once anchored io а piton, he
is absolutely safe. по matter what the
height. David Douglas Duncan goes in
to photograph wars knowing in advance
nately what he will find there—
once a U.S. М пе trained for
combat, He knows he won't be surprised
by anything, he knows he won't panic
nd he knows instinctively now how to
recognize places and moments that. hc
judges overly dangerous: these he avoids
In other words. he knows when to stick
his head up and when not to; he obeys
ules, and these rules keep him
live. Occasionally, he will expose him-
self to get a picture; but by moving
fast, he cuts the risk to a minimum. He
is, of course, a brave man, but he is nor
a foolish one, and he accepts risk on|
when certain he understands it exactly
and has put all odds in his favor. I once
heard h tell Guy Lombardo that he
would never drive one of. Lombardo's
speedboats: "I would be terrified. Im
not trained for that. I don't know a
thing about it.” In combat, Du
obviously as vulnerable
some stray shell; but while in combat.
he runs no risk of being sideswiped by a
taxicab, or mugged in the park, or hir
on the head by a suicide on his way
down from the roof. The odds can bc
said to come out almost the same, once
you realize, as Duncan does, that life is
mot very safe.
In addition to possessing knowledge
and technique, most of these risk takers
bproach each dangerous place only
alter having taken every posible pre
caution in advance. Bullfüghters alw
have a surgeon present in the arena
infirmary (indeed, surgeons are required
by law in Spain) and the richer bullfight
ers often travel with their own personal
horn-wound specialists—just in case.
kiewicz hangs around for an hour after
his act; then, when the show ends and
the audience empties out, he goes up
and rerigs his rope himself for his next
dive. No one else is allowed to toucn it.
The racing driver, Jackie Stewart,
feels that the modern,
Grand Prix car is so strong that the driv
er can survive almost any crash. The
only danger then is fire.
wears fireproof long underwear, герт
coveralls, fireproof gloves, socks and shoes
ad a fireproof bandanna covering. all
face except his eyes. Inside all this in
hour race he nearly sullocates.
m very safety cor
scious, as perhaps you've noticed," he
told me once. "But in a fire, а man
ought to be safe for thirty seconds, dressed
monocoque
"Td walk a mile
for a Camel?
This message is strictly for smokers who never tasted a Camel cigarette.
Camel smokers, you know what we mean.You other guys, start walking.
PLAYBOY
ume, somebody
Thirty
that way; and by tha
ought to be able to get
seconds is quite a long tim
That was the day of the 1966 Belgi:
Grand Prix, Stewart crashed
storm and the car crumpled aro
so tight it was 15 minutes before they
got him out. The fire suit wouldn't have
saved him. The next year, he turned up
for the same race wearing, in addition to
his fire suit, a patch over his breast, giv-
ing any eventual surgeons his blood
Pre art [ecls—all. risk
portant.
Why do men such as these seem to
search out danger?
Psychologists will rell you that each
of them first selects a difficult profession
order to separate himself from the
mass of men. Later, each raises his stake
up to and beyond the danger line. in
order 1o sepa h er from
ч nc professi
hologists will give you many such
ations, overlooking what are, in
cases, the Most
who ch out danger do it lor
n.
expl
most
mei
(wo basic ones:
joney and for the pure pleasure of it.
comes
For the standouts, the money
only one wa The pleasure
comes big, too. sometimes even oi
stupendous.
Sturt with mone
n motive. C n
more so. bullfighters carn fantastic sums
Sitkiewicz may earn only а bit over
S200 а week, but what else could he do,
id. to carn so much? Some pho-
earn good pay also; but Da-
vid Douglas Du having taken the
precaution (that word again) of selling
his photos in advance to both Life and
ABC television. will earn ten times as
much. by going into sticky combat zones
most others want по part. of.
By working high up on narrow beams
where not many other men will go. Ed-
die lannielli carns (counting bonuses
nd extra vacation time) roughly $20,000
ost twice what laborers like
himself earn below. He
death. yes, but his special skill is so rare
isky being out of work, a
lies—
the si
plest of all
and. evi
r racers
1 the time.
in шом danger and
sometimes, ly, even a little
And there are plea
Start with the
пас of m
Пее
security
pleasures.
these.
To control anything—anything at all
delights man. He is delighted to con-
tol the way а plaut. grows or the shape
ol a bush or a dart thrown ri
board, or a car driven fast
Чо not be surprised to he:
ad:
nd well. So
п that there is
pleasure in controlling a very hot car,
ng bull or
The controlled. forces. are
ple. and therefore
one's feet
ideed, or
оп a beam.
tremendous. unpredict.
17g the pleasure of control is that much
greater. А man thinks: "Look at me, fr:
ile and puny human being that | am!
Look wi T am controlling!" This is
never said aloud. because the fragile and
puny human being im question. would
much rather have уоп believe him a hero.
But this is the way he feel. He gets a
kick out of controlling something hardly
ybody else сап control. It's nice that
you down there are watching him and
control. but he would feel
whether you were there or not.
the principal applause he is listening
to is his own,
lenge. At a world convention held
London, on u s the
ventat iwin Link о of sending
man to live at a depth of 400 feet. Li»
ten to the diver Robert Stenuit: “All
heads turned to Four hundred
feet! The very idea made my insides
ich. Did 1 really want to descend to
that awful depth, ıo shiver night and
day and perhaps to furnish headlines Гог
the journals ths ze in
trophe?
1 really did. Always 1 have found joy
in danger lucidly accepred and prudent
ly overcome. And when a reporter put
the question to me, 1 heard myself answ
ОТ course. Yes."
То me, it was the most extraordi
dventure of which a diver
ım
There is pleasure in provoking terror
in others, too. The gasp Sitkiewicz hi
when he dives from the roof is pure
pleasure to him. Most of the risk takers
1 have known delight in talking about
danger, delight
atas-
spec
ary
might
d
ing list
lannielli: says
е the hardest.
King acros an
inch balancing yourself.
wind. al ога sudde
wind stops—and vou 1
your b Its some feeling
that happens" Eddie always enjoys the
admiration, the near wonhip. wh
he talks like this. All of these men are
aware fom such reactions, from the
questions they are constantly
(But why do you do it. why
from the hyporhesizi
the background id
people don't understand wl
how they can accept such risk. and this
is very pleasant. H is nice to feel so sin-
gular. The desire to feel singular is basic
10 the human personality; but the timid
derk at his desk may have to do without
fulfilling this basic need every day of his
long. sale life, subsisting on his Mitty-
esque Г
There is
psychologists in
normal
so-called
nasies,
bo the simple pl
ity. All of the risk takers
They go crazy in static
ns and. normally they go оп tak-
ing risks however long they may live
physio act
re casily bored.
situa
on a trip. as has bee
East t0 see more snakes:
had an urge to do thin
sorts of funny situations,
it's dont know.
others | n't see!
danger se one goes
known. Fm a senior citizen. People tell
mc | should sit оп my big fat ass and
digest what | have seen and not expose
myself оге. But 1 can't do it. Т
have to go out.”
There is pleasure as well in the belief
of most risk takers that they are con-
ng to the world by doing some-
ing dangerous that has to be done
Stenuit believes one day men will colo-
nental shelf. thanks to hi
pioneering dives. И he is wrong, he may
be accused of having risked his life for
nothing. Nonetheless, rime, hı
believed һе was contributing his best
and most important talent to the world.
Duncan believe he is
€ always
to be in
It's curiosity
t to see thi
t involves
Towa
^
beca o the un-
tribut
So does
con
у throw some light on the awlul
struggle in Vietnam. So does Walter Bo-
naui believe that he and all mountai
“We d
the most stunning way of
of a
effort
т lives—th;
n c d of himsell.
come to pleasures that a
dema
to describe.
“1 think we appreciate life better. be-
cause we live doser to death." the 1
Marquis de Portago once wrote ої
drivers. Does this make any sense lo
you? Danger heightens all the senses. A
man feels extraordin alert and alive.
Up to a certain point. alcohol does this,
too. and T suppose drugs do. although 1
do not know this personally. Bur I firmly
believe that nothing simu
much as danger
е
docs а
have to be very much danger.
One extremely hor day list January, 1
was hunting quail on the King Randh in
south T There were other shooters.
most of whom T did nor know. and I
was worried about possibly getting my
head blown off by accident, or blowing
off someone ches, and this m
alert Powas watching everybody
fully. and then the girl ne:
jumped back and blasted à
She stood. there пену
move. The rattler, t
brokenly near her leet,
and shot its head oll.
At lunchtime, we gathered in a
very
ci
rove
of oaks and dined on a мех made Irom
kid дош and on broiled baby lamb
chops and drank cold Rhine wine, and
talked of
of us shoot
aulesnakes. There were nine
s in all, hunting in groups
d the total score in rattlesnakes so far
was four. Much of the King Ranch was
“There's a moral here—never heckle a flamenco dancer."
179
PLAYBOY
still under water from the fall hurricanes
and the rattlers seemed to have come up
ото the higher ground from all over: the
sun had brought them out of their holes
стой» to con
and it was plainly very Чап
e shooting, But nobody wanted to до
home yet. Our excitement was too high
In the hunting through a
grove of mesquite trees. Т did not sce
turned ош to be the biggest rattler
day. a six-footer, until I was with-
The diamondback rat-
of country is almos
frernoon
wh,
of th
in a stride of it
kind
ipossible 1o see
both
der in thar
I gave it barrels, This disturb-
ance set off a bevy of quail, which flew
all abou me. People were shouting
“Shoot!” but 1 was quivering too much
even to reload.
But this emotion passed and we went
on hunting, often through high. hum
"Some chance ol
I thought. bu
anyway working
over every blade, every shadow. I have
never felt so alert in my life. presumably
because my life depended on my alert
nes. 1 have never felt so keenly
back. or the
color of
mocky grass
rattler in here."
seeing а
1 plowed
through it eyeballs
also
aware of the sun on my
smell of gunpowder, or the
birds. or the buzzing of insects. I felt
nd thirsty and tired in a
pleasant way. enjoying food and drink
d rest in advance. while still slo:
through fields, trying to flush. quail
very
hungry
When п
gether at
and drank gin and tonic mixed out of
ht fell, the groups came 10
dirt crossroads in the dark
the mmks of the shooting cars. The
total score was seven каше We all
agreed it was madness to have hunted
in there that day. We were all glad we
had done it. Ice tinkled in glasses. They
were the best gin and tonics 1 have ever
tasted. 1 was excited. alert. aware of all
of the sights. sounds and. smells of the
night. This lasted until E fell asleep later
back ar the til the
inch. and even u
next morning, when I lay awake in bed,
tening to the dew drip off the roof
ng good all over
This is level of the excitement
that exists in danger. There is another
that is perhaps imposible to describe to
someone who hasn't experienced it
Years ago. in the streets of Jerusalem,
Jewish terrorists waved David Duncan
to take then mowed down the
three Arabs he w Duncan raced
after the photographing
the whole as police and bullets
one
cover
s with
terrorists’ car
show
came from all directions. Later, Duncan
cabled Life: “WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO
пк STILL ALIVE
Now. some will assert that danger is a
drug. that
it alone: and this is truc, though not in
the way the speaker usually means. 1
have never heard a habitual risk taker
а man gets so he can't leave
articulate what the "drug" is or what
the sensation feels like; but to me. it is
purely and simply the extraondinary ex
hilaration a man feels to find the danger
isclf still alive, 1 have felt
this exhilaration.
gone and hi
For many years, ] have gone to the
fiesta at Pamplona each July
the streets with the bulls most mornings.
md this js not particularly dangerous.
There are many tricks for keeping well
clear of the horns. and normally thc
bulls. obeying their strong herd instinct
vun think to flank and
and run in
gnore the runners
completely. The only real danger is
bull separated from the herd. A bull
alone will gore anything it secs
There was one morning 1 ran in [ront
of the bully and. when they were close
1 leaped high up onto a window grating
hoisting my Чегпёге out of danger
When the herd had gone by. 1 dropped
into the i and siun
n the barrie
arena into which the herd
peared. There were other
street with me and mobs of people crowd
ing the barriers along both sides of the
ramp that goes down to the tunnel under
down street aga
tered betwe х toward the
had di
ap
men in the
the stands.
Suddenly, the men on the fences
started shouting: “Falta uno!” There
was one bull still loose in the street
The men in the street scattered. and
there I stood. face to face with the bull.
who. for a moment, could not decide
what to do.
I searched for an empty spot on the
fence. There was none. What to do?
Where to run? I remember thinkin;
calm. Think it out carefully, If you pan-
ic, you are lost. I saw 1 was the only
man in the street. The bull was ten
yards away. In the other direction. was
the ramp under the stands and the arc-
na floor beyond. I thought: Can I beat
the bull into the arena? If 1 could get
into the arena, 1 could perhaps hurdle
the barrera to safety. But I saw that the
bull would catch me in the tunnel or
before. I thought: It's the only chance
you have; start running.
І ran.
The tunnel was 20 yards away . . .
ten. І could hear the bull.
Suddenly I spied a gap atop the
fence. I leaped up there. The bull
rushed by under my feet. A moment lat-
er, the wooden door slammed behind it.
І was safe.
1 felt none of the quivering one feels
after losing control of a car or nearly
stepping on a rattlesnake. Instead, I felt
a flood of exhilaration. 1 did it! Look
at me, I'm still alive!
lt was one of the most stupendous
feclings of my life, accompanied by
much of the wonder of first sexual inter-
course: So this is what all the talk has
been about.
It wasn't a fecling of relicf nor of
gratitude. It was exhilaration. 1 had faced
real danger and got out of it on my own
two feet and I was still alive and 1 felt
great, absolutely great.
Then 1 thought: This must be the
drug they speak of. It is a sensation I
could get to love entirely too much; and
the next day, I was afraid to run with
the bulls (though I have run many times
since), fearing that I might go for that
extraordinary exhilaration again and this
time, possibly, do something really stupid.
And so some of the habitual risk ta
ers go for this feeling sometimes and
some of them find it occasionally, but it
must be rare. A feeling as glorious as
that can't be common, and I suppose
you can call it a drug, if you want to.
On a more practical level, you can't
have a safe world and a progressive one.
(Probably you can't have а safe world
under any circumstances, so you might as
well try for the progress, whatever the
cost.) And you must admit that most
progress comes from risk. This has always
been the case. Five hundred years ago.
Columbus risked his life and his ships
and crews to discover a new world he
didn't know was there, and that's why all
of us are where we are today. The men
of his time later called Columbus a hero.
But there must have been a hundred other
captains who never found the new
world, because they looked in the wrong
place; and some of them didn't come
back, and no doubt “normal” people of
the time called daredevils
obeying some stupid death wish.
Or think of Edison fooling around
with high voltage he didn't understand,
high voltage that had killed several men
before him and would kill many after
him. Edison was obviously a daredevil.
Was he acting out а death wish as well?
All of progress comes from pushing a
little closer to the edge than the guy before
you, and this involves risk. The world
needs risk takers, needs an oversupply of
them, and the spillover becomes the circus
performers and daredevil athletes, all of
whom have the same temperaments, basi-
cally, as all explorers and most inventors.
Cut off the right to risk one's Ше, and
progress would end and society would
atrophy and die, The right to watch
men risk their lives on mountains, in car
races, bullfights and circuses is equally
important. We need to know where
death is, if only to avoid it; and such
men show us that and much more. Of-
ten accused of having a death wish,
they make careers out of staying alive.
And that is the simplest, most singular
thing about them. It should not be over-
looked.
[Y]
such men
Taste
that beats
PEPSI-COLA ANO “PERS
the others
cold!
ARE REGISTERED TRADEMARKS OF PepsiCo, INC-
Meet the man who makes
an honest bourbon-
but with manners.
PLAYBOY
Bourbon came out of the hill country.
fi) Honest but unmannered.
E] How to make an aristocrat
231 out of it was a challenge to
I. W. Harper. He started
D by keeping the true
honest taste of
bourbon but polishing
off the rough edges.
_ Which explains why
| Mr. Harper’s
whiskey is
A known as
honest bourbon-
And which explains,
too, why winning medals all
over the world got to bea
habit with I. W. Harper.
PROOF AND 100 PROOF BOTTLED IN BOWO -BOTH KINTLOKY STRAIGHT BOUA
182
VABONWMSILY -© L W HARPER DISTILLING CO. LOUSVALLE, KENTUCKY
PLAYBOY FORUM (continued from page 75)
intended by its originators and pro-
їз to provide a needed and
objective, instead, to
reate an unceasing and dangerous
obsession with sex in the minds of
our children.
As a psychologist, I have long admired
PLAYBOY'S cllorts to combat some of the
genuine ills of our sociery—such as the
ignorance and neurotic sell-righteousness
expressed in the above passage. I hope
you will see fit to comment on the
MOTOREDE movement
Virginia Lee Bender, Ph. D.
San Francisco, California
The quality of Dr. Drake's allegations
Speaks for itself. It might add. perspective
if we pointed out thai the publishers of
Christian. Crusade Publications had а rec-
ord of finding a Communist under every
bed, long before they began to discover
that there was a Communist in состу
bed: Two of their previous publications,
Communism, Hypnotism and the
Beatles” and “Rhythm, Riots and Revolu-
tions,” are attempts to prove that rock
music is a Communist plot.
MOTOREDE is а front for the John
Bich Society, which every sane conserv-
ative [rom William Buckley, Jr., to Barry
Goldwater has by now repudiated. It was
the Birch Society that for several
circulated а book, "The Politician,”
which declared, without a shred of evi-
dence, that former President Dwight
Eisenhower was а “conscious agent of
the Communist conspiracy." After Eisen-
howers departure from office, the
Bnchers spread other fairy tales, like the
following (from the Birch magazine,
American Opinion):
ears
In the mid-1930s . . . there were
reports that experimental stations in
Asiatic Russia had pens of human
women whom the research workers
were trying to breed with male apes
in the hope oj producing a species
better adapted to life under social-
ism than human beings.
As columnist Frank Meyer pointed out
in the conservative National Review:
The false analysis and. conspira-
torial mania of the John Birch Soci-
cty has moved beyond diversion and
wasle of the devotion of its members
to the mobilization of that devotion
in ways directly anticonseroatiue and
dangerous. . . . However worthy the
original motivations of those who
have joined it and who apologize for
il, it is time for them to recognize
that the John Birch Society is rapid-
ly losing whatever it has in common
with patriolism or conservatism—
and to do so before their own minds
become warped by adherence to its
unrolling psychoses of conspiracy.
The Bircher “unrolling psychoses”
have advanced quite far since then.
Many Birch-run bookstores are now
carrying two books, “World Revolution”
and “The Federal Reserve Hoax,” which
claim that the Communist conspiracy is
only a front for another, even more
diabolical conspiracy—the Bavarian Illu-
minati. (See the April “Playboy Advisor”
for details about this fantasy.) According
to the Los Angeles Free Press, some of
the California Birchers believe that there
is yel an older, and even worse, conspir-
acy behind the supposed Hluminati—a
conspiracy of snake men who pass as hu-
mans but are actually descendants of
Cain, who was unnaturally conceived by
we and the serpent. These chimeras
involving cros-fertilizalions between wom-
en and apes or snakes are a telling com-
ment on the kind of sex education the
Birchers themselves have received.
In announcing the formation of
MOTOREDE to из members, the Birch
Society declared, according to The Re-
view of the New
Estimating from past experience,
some ten percent oj the membership
of these committees will be members
of the [John Birch) Society. The
remaining 90 percent will consist of
good citizens, drawn from every level
and division of American life, who
are seriously concerned about the fu-
ture of their children and of their
country.
Parents who are, indeed, concerned
about the future of their children and
their country will welcome honest criticism
and discussion of sex education, which is
still in its infancy and, admittedly, im per-
fect. But irresponsible charges of subver-
sion hurled at those members of the
community who are sincerely bying to
develop programs in the schools contribute
only to an atmosphere of fear and igno-
rance. The professional demonologists
who use the magic word “communism”
are engaged in a medieval witch-hunt,
the only motive of which is to destroy
not lo correct. A precise picture of their
tactics, in context with another group,
was given in The Sacramento Bee.
A group of 110 persons gathering
here from 42 California localities
has vowed to fight sex education in
schools and has formed a new organ-
ization, California Families United,
to tackle the issue.
James Townsend, who described
himself as a “professional fighter"
against communism since 1934 and
as founder of the Citizens Committee.
of California, offered tips to the
group on how members could be
most effective in heading off school
classes in sex education,
“When you go back to your com-
munities, f you're not already a
member of an organization, start
one—and don’t hesitate to join ten
more. Со to school-bourd meetings
in your town and in other town:
applaud and groan at the right
limes and, if necessary, stomp your
feet and scream. . . . The more bra
zen you ave, the more attention
you'll get.
“Our main objective is to stop sex
education throughout the state of
California—and 1 don't mean change
it, 1 mean stop it completely," he
declared.
The following letter, from another
community, indicates additional press
x posure of those who confuse sex educa-
tion with subversion.
Congressman Larry Winn, Jr. asked
the House Un-American Activities Com.
mince for information about the mem-
bership of the Sex Information and
Education Council of the United States.
thereby implying that he thought sex ed
ucation might be some sort of subversive
plot. Here is what The Kansas City Star
had to say:
From what we have heard, [SIE-
CUS] is composed of responsible,
concerned individuals. Certainly the
people in the Kansas City area who
have been interested in sex educa-
tion in the schools could never be
char;
undermine the morals of America.
But however you quibble over
words, the damage has been done.
We are not sure how the term "un-
Ame can be applied to
education. Sex is a function of exist-
ence that. concerns organisms Irom
the amoeba to mankind, and. wheth-
er it can be defined in terms of
Americanism scems doubtful
And most certainly the answers are
not likely to be found in a Congres
1 committee that is supposed to
deal with subversion and sabotage.
tees that are concerned with
nd health would seem
ate. Unless you happen
to believe that sex is a diabolical plot
invented by the Commu
ppy
Berkeley, Missouri
“The Playboy Forum” offers the oppor-
tunity for an extended dialog between
readers and editors of this publication
on subjects and issues raised in Hugh
M. Hefner's continuing editorial seri
“The Playboy Philosophy.” Four booklet
reprints of “The Playboy Philosophy."
including installments 1-7, 8-12, 13-18
and 19-27, are available at 504 per book-
let. Address all correspondence on both
"Philosophy" and "Forum" 10: The
Playboy Forum, Playboy Building, 919 М.
Michigan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60611.
183
184
TOM JONES
prince of wails
iT's A LONG way from the Welsh
coakmining town of Pontypridd
to the ABC-TV studios in Los An.
geles; but Tom Jones, 29, has gone
the distance, selling 24.000.000
records en route and signing the
biggest nightclub and telev
contracts ever offered to а British
entertainer. The Flamingo in La
Vegas will pay him 5810,000 for
опе month's work: and ABC, in
combination with England's ATV,
will 1elevise five у s boom-
ing baritone and high-powered
hip swinging at a total package
price of S21.500.000—a safe in-
yestment, considering the popu-
larity of his current АВС variety
series. To avoid the unusually
burdensome English income t
Jones recently became a corpora-
tion—Management Agency and
Music—sharing control with pop
singer Engelbert Humperdinck. "
really don't take much notice of
the money part of it,” Tom say
but his 5150.000 home in Surrey,
long with the Bentley Gontinen-
l and the Rolls-Royce limousine
represents a noticeable change
from his far less affluent days in
Wales. Inspired by such Stateside
balladcers as Billy Eckstine, Billy
Daniels and Ernie Ford, Tom
sang for years im church choirs,
then graduated at 16 to singing in
the local pubs. Working days as а
building laborer and performing
wherever he could, he finally was
heard by Gordon Mills, a hit song-
writer, who decided on the spot
to manage his career. Tom's first
international hit, It's Not Un-
usual, was recorded іп London
in 1965, and such subsequent
smashes as What's New, Pussycat?,
Green, Green Grass of Home and
Delilah have earned him a variety
of honors—including a Grammy
nd a Royal Command Perform-
ance. Now, four years and eight
Ed Sullivan ater, he
looks forward to stints at New
York's Copacabana and the Fla-
mingo. concerts from Australia to
Hawaii and renewed production
of his TV series in Los Angeles
Laer this summer. “It's fine once
you've made it in America,” Jones
reflects. “But it's difficult to main-
tain staying power." In his case,
we doubt it. With a yearly income
that should soon reach £ 1,000,000
and with the promise of contin-
ucd video and record success, Tom.
Jones has more than enough go-
ing for him to guarantee a long
and lucrative stay in the limelight.
ARTHUR ASHE courting success
of poise under pressure plus а demoralizing serve
have made 25-yearold Arthur Ashe the nation's top-ranked tennis
yer—and the only black star in an otherwise lily-white sport.
Ashe's celebrated cool reflects the steadi, her, who
was caretaker of the Richmond, Virginia, playground where Ar-
thur first swung a tennis racket. The eldi
th and а . wept with pride
List year as his son whipped Tom Okker in the U.S. Open finals
at Forest Hills. There had been liule opportunity for Ashe, Jr
10 master his game in segregated Richmond, but seven scasons
under the tutelage of R. Walter Johnson, a Lynchburg doctor
who guides young black tennis hopefuls, helped him develop a
serve powerful enough to win several major tournaments and a
scholarship to UCLA. Though the Dallas Country Club canceled
its 1966 invitational tournament rather than let Ashe compete,
he found himself accepted—indeed, lionized—throughout the сіг
cuit. It was during his two-year Army hitch, as а systems analyst
at West Point, that Ashe—conditioned in childhood to maint
nsult—began to speak out against disci
nation. As his social consciousness matured, so did his court style:
the previously mercurial Ashe, whose inconsistency had been at-
tributed by critics to lack of the killer instinct, won more than 30
straight matches and, last December, helped the U.S. win the
Davis cup for the first time since 1963. Recently sprung from
the Service. he can now envision a well-paid pro career, pos-
sible film roles, additional business affiliations (he already
represents Philip Morris, Coca-Cola and Wilson Sporting Goods,
nong others) and a continued assault on. American apartheid.
Ashe considered leaving the cup team in sympathy with the
Olympic boycott but decided that “People don't listen to losers.
Now working for the Urban League, he favors ап approach
to equality that is “admittedly slow, but coordinated and sure.”
Militants may disagree—but everybody listens to a winner.
sil
BUCK HENRY irit
Tse pays, Buck Henry enters laughing. In the wake of The
Graduate—which he scripted—he suddenly became one of
Hollywood's hottest screenwriters. “The Graduate,” he says,
“was one long ball to work on. Mike Nichols is a hell of a
director.” Candy, Henry's next effort as scenarist, was a different
story, however. ng the film as it was being shot,” the
New York-born writer recalls. "I was also writing to accommo-
date actors who would suddenly appear and be put in the pic-
ture. Which is all right, 1 suppose, but it’s not the way to make
а film,” Henry, 39, has just completed his most difficult screen
assignment to date—an adaptation of Joseph Heller's antic
World War Two novel, Catch-22, in which he again teams up
with Nichols. “It was quite a challenge to rework Hellers sense
of structure without о do so. T also had to cut down
the number of characters, from about 75—too many for a film
—io 30." Henry said upon returning to his home in Hollywood
Hills after nearly three months near mas, Mexico. where
part of Catch-22 was filmed, In addition to writing the script,
Henry (who played the hotel desk clerk in The Graduate) por-
ways Caich-22's Colonel Korn. “I started out in show business as
n actor.” he says. “Just after I was graduated from Dartmouth,
the producers of ап ill fated off Broadway play needed а уо
man who could conve ruption, handsomeness
and sexual appeal. Instead, they got me.” A busy—if little-known
—actor during the ies, Нешу uh
he cos
Smart, which soon led to his carcer as а filmwr ‘ve only
adapted novels so far," "but next у intend to
te my first o Judging from his satiric
hus far. it se that rival screenwriters will
aluily, I they intend to pass the Buck.
success
have to strive
MUTUAL FUNDS (continued from page 161)
. Fund shares, incidentally,
are not purchased in round numbers,
nor even in whole numbers, but in dol-
lar amounts, After deducting the applica
ble commission (if any), the fund simply
adits the investor with however. many
shares the remaining money will buy—
computed down to four decimal places. If
the shareholder elects to reinvest his div-
idends and capital gains. these, too, will be
converted into shares to the nearest ten
thousandth, guaranteeing that every penny
of the investor's money is always working
for him.
Despite such
investors have tended to shun the
in the oft-mistaken belief that they сап
fare beter on their own, In the short
тип, they posibly сап. Given a pinch
of savvy, almost anyone could concei
ably pick a stock that would outshine
a mutualfund investment—lor a month,
a year or even longer. Not a single
mutual fund so much аз doubled its
investor money in 1968, but literally
hundreds of stocks did. In fact, on the
hecounter: market s not
ally a market but a collection of them,
where brokers buy and sell Tule known
stocks), 52 stocks advanced by more than
1000 percent in 1968. At least a few in
lvantages, many younger
ide.
alone
vestors must have been fortunate enough
to own the year's best performer, Dive
co Inc., a company so obscure th
research hus failed to unearth the. n
ol its operations, other than that
“formerly in the sw
The company doesn't seem to have so
much as a telephone, but it docs have
lots of tax losses, and these were suf-
ficient to propel it from 1 cent a share
(January 2, 1968) to 52.1? (December
for an impres of
31. 1968),
21.100 percent. The odds
a winner such as this
Who in his right mind would buy a
stock in а company that doesn't even
have a phone? And if the odds ag:
making one such investment are steep,
the odds against making a series of them
—tuking the profits Irom the first stock
sinking them all into a second, taking
the proceeds from the second and invest
ing them all in a third, and so on
impossible. It would be easier to pick a
IZhorse parlay. something no one
ever done. The problem with stock pyr-
inst
amids, as with 12-horse parlays, is that no
matter how lucky or perspiccions the
benor might be. sooner or later the
whole edifice is bound. to collapse. and
when it docs, the ultimate bad bet wipes
out the profits from all the previous
good ones.
But there is a sort of parlay that
investors can and do make money on,
technique that’s at once re
nd prosaic. The only require-
ment is patience and the leverage of
compound interest. For investors gifted
vith patience, funds can provide scads of
compounding, by virtue of the aforemen-
tioned commission-free reinvestment of
dividends and capital gains. Essentially,
compounding means that after the ini-
tial investment has produced dividends
of one sort or another, the investor then
begins receiving dividends on his divi-
dends, then dividends on the dividends
on the dividends, and so on, ad in-
finitum. How this actually works for the
fund investor is best understood through
an ancient and well known financial for-
cilled the rule of 79. a
that is knowable but not. worth
ing, the number 72. divided by the
prevailing rae of compound interes
will reveal the number of years required
for a sum of money to double. An invest-
ment that increases at 18 percent а year,
for instance, will double every four yc:
—because 72 divided by 18 cqualy 4
Fighteen percent may seem а bit steep,
but it’s theoretically quite achievable in
funds these days. In fact, it's very close to
the gain that the average mutual fund
racked up last year. In the рам decade,
top-performing funds cach. year,
with capital gains reinvested, have pro.
duced average annual returns as high as
percent, and never lower than 14
percent
The funds deserve credit for this. per
formance, but not quite as much credit
as one might think. An exhaustive com-
puter survey, conducted a few years ago
at the University of Chicago, showed
that the average annual profit (before
taxes) on any New York Stock Exchange
investment held for one month or longer
—regardless of what the company was,
when the shares were purchased or when
they were sold—was 9.3 percent. [fa ran-
dom investment іп stocks returns 9.3 per-
cent, п seems reasonable (o expect that
highly touted and highly paid fund man-
agers сап produce twice that Assuming
npound.inierest rate of 18 percent,
the rule of 72 reveals tl your
could invest a paltry $1000 in funds at
the age of 20 and at 60 emerge a million-
€. If he's not willing to sweat out 40
years, he сап up the initial ante to
550.000 and watch it run to almost
$1,000,000 in only two decades. Of course,
this example is wildly theoretical, in that
it makes several assumptions of a future-
predictive nature. The future, as we all
know, is never predictable. But still, the
example does emphasize a basic point:
that compound interest is not to be
derided
Given
to
the manifest adv:
Mages of
compound interest, the problem of pick-
to be s
estor should select w
ll give him the L
of rerum.
fund.
tually
osition,
investors (probably
newcomers) actu:
l: to make as
as short a ti
"
са
les to зау. а good n
sprung up to accommodate then
ars ayo, the SE
vatively, but it now
t conservative enou
ch: n Manuel F
expressed. his concern, in a
tional business magazine, about an
asingly speculative climate. that has
been enveloping the mutual fund. bu
s successor, Hamer Н.
ned to Congress last Fel
cult of performance among
o focus on shortterm
profits in order to make their shares more
salable:
The cult of performs
ists—not only am
fund
mer SEC
recently
y abour
aly ex-
but
investors. Investoms, like
ave no way to predict the
y on the evi-
"ce of the past when selecting the
they think will make the mox
ey for diem. In other words, they
buy funds that have a past or current
«ls periodically —
to how well they
performance derby—
never new ratings are published,
anked funds. Mates
one that refuses to
industry,
an
y just how
in а win-
other fund that it was lii
with investor moi
bile dictu, Mates Fund
$50,000,000
sions or a sales force), its size had grown
by a factor of ten in six dizzying months.
By the end of the y the fund was so
successful ue Imost forced out
of business; one of the socks in its
portfolio had gone from $3.25 10 $33,
and suddenly comprised about one fifth
of the fund's assets. As noted, the securi-
ties Jaws insist that no single investment
constitute е than. 1/20 of а fund's
assets, so. Mates Fund had to sell. Un-
fortunately, for reasons too complicated
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187
PLAYBOY
188
to discuss, the zooming stock was such
that it couldn't be sold on the open
market. Lacking a market.
possible to evaluate, As а consequence,
Mates was forced to stop redeeming its
own shares—almost unprecedented
event in the mutual-fund. business. The
fund now hopes to resume normal operz
ions shortly, though one is not entirely
1 this case
sparked all the initial
interest in Mates Fund a i
was im-
an
published. pe
riodically in some of the financi
zines. As published, however, they are
often incomprehensible, and a beter
source is usually а brokerage house, Any
reputable broker will be able to lend you
abu om Wiesenberger
and Comp New York firm that pub-
lishes à huge annual compilation of data
(including easy-to-read charts) about past
and current fund. performance. The best
of the rating services is probably the
Lipper list. published in various forms
(induding a weekly ranking of the hot-
test funds) by the Arthur Lipper Corpo-
ration, а brokerage house in New York.
You сап buy the big Wiesenberger book
for $40, but the Lipper service costs up
to $500 annually, so it's best to borrow a
broker's copy.
The unhappy experience of Mates
Fund notwithstanding, one of the imer-
esting aspects of the mutualfund per-
nce derby is that sucess breeds
Once
anks, it tends to
stay there for a while, The reasons for
this are obscure (for anyone who's inter-
ested, the subject is discussed in detail in
the June 1968 Fortune), but they def-
initely relate to the influx of Gish from
new investors that usually accompanies а
high position in the fund-performance
list. A high rank
1 new
Once а fund management
new money, it is free to buy good new
stocks whenever it finds them; it can buy
when the market goes down (obviously,
this is the best time to buy)
count on receiving useful rese
hot new stocks from brokerage houses
eager to get their hands on some of that
incoming cash. Funds not blessed with
new money, on the other hand, must dip
into their reserves to make new invest-
ments or to meet redemptions. I they
are fully invested and have no cash
(most funds try to keep some in re-
serve), they must sell old investments,
often at a loss, or at least at a time when
they should not be sold. To the extent
that a fund enjoys a steady stream of
new money, it will be able to make the
sort of good new investments that will
keep it high in the rankings; and
when a fund stays high in the rankings.
it keeps getting more new money. Por
folio managers—the men who actually
make the funds investment
ng means new
estos,
nvestors mean new
money.
blessed with
nd
"Boy! Mom's really stacked, isn't she?"
own well-being, financial as
chological. It's not simply tc
well as psy-
ppease their
- engaged in
red battle to get into the
t least into the top 25, on the
is.
top 10, or
aking
TO LFARN МОКЕ ABOUT
MUTUAL FUNDS
Ordinary sources of investment
formation are generally defici
their coverage of mutual funds
The Wall Street Journal and The New
York Times (available at any well
stocked newsstand) occasionally run
perceptive reports about funds, Bar-
‘lable cach Monday
WHERE,
ron’s (av at the
nd four times а year
d discusses what stocks they
re buying and selling.
Forbes (published twice a month by
Forbes, Inc, 60 Fifth Avenue, New
York, New York 10011: subscription
$8.50 annually) runs a regular column
about funds and a complicated rating
cach August.
An otherwise dull magazine called
Financial World (published weekly at
17 Baucry Place, New York, New
York 10004; $28 annually) features a
lar column, bylined by Edward
scusses the fund. business
with perception and intelligence.
n expensive monthly mag:
led Fundscope ($39 a year from
undscope Inc, 1800 Avenue of the
Stars. Los Angeles, California 90067)
publishes more statistics about mutual
funds than most. investors would ever
The jazziest, most candid and most
esting, of all the liter bout
mutual funds is ine
trolled-circulation periodical, for money
managers only; but if your broker gets
а copy, its well worth borrowing.
Watching.
obser
J this jockeying, the casual
whe guess that most funds
share the same objec to make as
much money as possible for their share-
holders. This, unfortunately, is just not
true. A great many funds, especially the
newer ones, and most especially the ones
that the reader will be looking for, do
uy to maximize profits—but by and large,
the scope of their investment goals is
rom
much broader. Some funds. for асс,
эте interested only in the preservation of
capital—10 accommodate investors who
have reached that lofty state where their
imary concern is simply keeping
what they ve. Other funds pur
sue the maximization of income—for
widow and orphan types who must live
on wl
a fixed sum ol
honey. Most other. funds
can generally be ranked according to their
willingness to take risks.
Since the funds с
two ways—from dividend income and
from сар ins—the most sensible
way to classify them would be to divide
them into two groups: income funds and
capitalgains funds, which might better
be called growth funds. But even here,
we're forced to add a third category,
special funds, to pick up everything that.
doesn't fall into the first two categories.
(Many of the funds listed earlier would
make money in
qualify as special funds) Income funds
are for anyone who has a specific sum of
cash and doesn’t want to risk di
ing it in the process of trying to make it
grow. But the lure of tax-favored capi-
ns profit is so great t even
income funds sometimes don't seem terri-
bly interested in income. Of 15 incor
oriented funds recently tabulated by
mes) and
ed 5.69 percent. Since ev
Treasury notes are
round six percent, the objective observ-
er condude that people solely in-
terested in income shouldn't be dabbling
in funds at all.
In fact, the straightincome funds have
a relatively small following: They ac-
count for less than five percent of the
mutual-fund business. One of the reasons
they attract even this much attention
that the conservative nature of their por
folios makes them relatively sale ine
vestments and sometimes, in periods
when speculators are disenchanted with
gh-llying growth stocks, makes them
good sources of capitil-gains profits as
well. The year 1968 was such a period,
and it embarrassed a great many funds
because their declared intentions simply
did not reconcile with their actual pes
formance. Funds that chimed to be
vesting primarily for growth wound uj
producing nothing but income—and not
much of that. And funds set up to invest
for income were beset with embarrassing-
ly large cap ins. Channing Growth
Fund, for example, "grew" a modest two
percent, while its conservative sister fund,
Cha Income Fund, grew about 13
u increasing the value of its
investo Vs percent, In
ow
mes fa
ouis like the Mg group. the
manages run different but
named funds designed to
ї results. (One of the happy aspects
of such multiple arrangements is that the
managements usually let their sharchold-
ers shift dy g from one fund in
the famil nother, without having to
repeat the helty com
disons) Of nine
such management groups this author
knows about—each offering one fund
dedicated to growth and another dedicat:
ed to income—the income funds outgrew
their growth counterparts last year in all
but one instance. Fundscope’s list of 15
income funds, which includes virtuall
Ш income funds of any consequence,
averaged 17.9 percent growth in 1968. А
ble group of 173 growth funds
compar
averaged just 12.3 percent
Bur at least they grew. While stocks
on the average went up four to eight
percent in 1968 (depending on which
lex you read and how you read it),
Manhatan Fund, one of the largest
апа bestkn of the growth funds,
declined. seven percent, As the fund's
president, ex-wizard Gerry Tsai. ] 1
mitted to his shareholders: “Our invest-
ment judgment on growth stocks was
faulty. Put simply, we tended to overstay
better-known growth stocks." In business,
as in life, faulty judgment hurt.
Manhattan's Hamletlike tendencies to
overstay lost it $134,000,000 in profits
that it could have taken but didn't. Tsai
may be more candid than most. growth
fund presidents, but hi
"n
s fund was not
its less-th: perform-
875 lished funds
tracked by Fundscope through 1968, 48
wound up trailing the Dow-Jones Indu
ial Av The D. J. I. A., as most in-
stors are well aware, is a widely followed
rket index comprised of 30 somewhat
stodgy blue-chip stocks not noted for
their volatility; last year, assuming rein-
vestment of dividends, the Average gained
7.3 percent. Of the 48
alone
did less well th T almost
two thirds—bi as growth
funds. Besides T: Fu
four other growth funds grew negatively.
In fairness to the growth funds, 1968
was а very peculiar year, and their
verage 18 percent increase is not to be
faulted, being precisely the figure needed
to compound $1000 into $1,000,000 (in
40 years) according to the rule of 72. How-
ever, before any readers rush out to
make $1,000,000, they must be cautioned
that it's highly unlikely that any growth
fund—even the best, whichever that
ight be—can sustain such a growth rate
for 10 or 20 years. The best-performing
funds each year will probably gain more
than 18 percent, but the ranks of the best
will change as time goes by. This is be
е success breeds success in the mu-
ness, it also ca ^
the seeds of ultimate failure. To the
extent that а fund's current. prosperi
lures money from new investors, the fund
itself must suffer sooner or later, because
it will someday be too larg n
bly. The Federal laws th
wh
‘ies
ni t govern
mutuakfund. activities assure this. Not
only can funds have по more tl five
percent of their money in
any one
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189
PLAYBOY
190
company but they also can't own more
than ten percent of any single company's
shares. These restri re designed to
keep funds from exercising а manage-
ment role in the companics in which
they invest (a role they often exercise
anyway), but their real effect is to cramp
the style of a fund once it has grown
beyond а certain size. Consider a hypo-
thetical billion-dollar fund. The five per-
cent rule says the fund may own up to
$50,000,000 worth of any one stock (five
percent of a billion). But most potential
investments, especially the smaller, more
promising companies, where the biggest
profits атс often to be made, have less than
350.000.000. in shares—and the fund is
imited ıo owning only ten percent of
them. The result, quite simply, is that
fund gets larger, it is forced to diversify
ngly or to invest more and more in
well-established firms with vast numbers of
shares outstanding—the very companies
that, because of their large size, usually pr
le the least . Common sense
dicates that the number of small,
companies is limited
cre;
hot
and even if а large
fund elects to confine itself to these. sooner
or later it will own as much as it can of
them and will have no place else t0 go. In
the process, it will also pick up a number
of small, promising companies that fail to
live up to their promise. The message
should be clear: Once a fund gets past a
certain size, its activities are increasingly
restricted, Jt can diversify by buyi
ап ever-larger number of smalkcomp:
stocks; n buy everbigger chunks of
«d companies: or it ca
ever it does,
mg the profits that
it
the well-establisl
do both. But wl
likely to keep m.
cied most of
ч у
1 only 6.5 percent, slightly less u
and Poors broad coi
average. Massachuscus Investors
"Frust, with assets over two billion dolla
has for years acted very much like the
Dow-Jones Industrial Avera
Perhaps the most interesting illustra
tion of the dilemma of success is pro-
vided by Enterprise Fund, a growth fund
headquartered in Los Angeles. With-
out qualification, Enterprise been
the most consistently successful of all
mutual funds in recent years, И has
been the only fund to rank among the
top 25 for each of the past six years. No
other Га hed this feat
10, when new legislation changed the
re of mutual funds and meaning-
ndard
stock.
ce
$10.000 investment
at the beginning of 196:
load and
quent pvestment of
distributions and dividends—was worth
close to $70,000 at the beginning of this
year. In the case of Enterprise, success
has assuredly bred success, The fund's
sets increased by а factor of several
hundred g the period discussed,
growing from $3,000,000 to almost one
billion dol new
money, attracted. by the fund's impres-
sive performance. Enterprise's philoso-
phy. as enundated by its portfolio
manager, Fred Carr, is to invest in “emerg-
ing growth situations" —small. companie
that promise great success. How many
such companies there are is open to
question: At Jast count, Enterprise had
some 350 stocks im its portfolio, which
surely makes it less flexible than when it
was a $6,000,000 fund and could invest
n the most promising 35 of those 350.
Carr, in fact, has recognized the prob-
lems of bigness has divided the
Enterprise portfolio internally into a num-
ber of different bundles, each tended by
а separate m wer. Whether this at-
tempt at self-imposed smallness will
work remains to be seen, for the five
and ten percent. rules still apply 10 the
fund as а whole, not to the individual
bundles. Yet the fund increased over 40
percent in per-share value last year—an
unprecedented gain for a fund so large.
In fact, Enterprise was outperformed by
only а few other funds, one of which was
the ill-starred Mates Fund. But no mat-
ter how well Enterprise does in years to
come, it will certainly not duplicate its
record of the past six years. If its size
were do increase much again.
it would wind up owning almost 80
billion dollars’ worth of securities, which
wouldn't leave much for the rest of us
The dilemma of Enterprise Fund is
Iso the dilemma of the man who wants
to invest in funds. Few people would
want to buy into a fund with
proven track record, but a fund with
good tack record may have grown too
large to sustain its pre rate of suc-
cess, Most printed information about
mutual funds will tell you, in one way
or another, that the only real measure of
value is how a fund has performed over
several years, Unfortunately, this just
isn't ‚ and most of rhe mutual-
fund rating services admit it. After arm-
ing the reader with endless pages of
statistics about past performance, the
services will note, with some coyness, that
past results should u stances
bc construed as an indication of future
duri
rs. Most of that was
and
п un-
der no circ
performance.
Despite contradictions
such as this,
there ате а few guidelines that would-be
mutualfund investors сап follow. First,
it never hints to know how a fund's
unagement is being compensated. Be-
les the growing number of funds with
sliding compensation schedules (which
agers get а smaller
cut as the pie expands), some funds,
especially newer ones, their man-
agement on the b
fund performs in comparison w
broad ket averages
In addition, the potential investor
should make sure that all the fine-print
terms of the fund—such as those relatin
reinvestment of profits, ultimate. with-
drawal of money, posible charges for
getting owt—are suitable. The fund's pro-
speetus—which by law must be given to
the potential investor before he commits
himseli—will yield all this information,
though in many cases only reluctantly.
The prospectus will also give the inves-
tor a relatively recent gl at the
fund's portfolio—for w that's
wonh. In a typical growth fund, many
stockholdings will mean nothing even to
the most sophisticated investor: beyond
that, the informati l probably be
stale, Funds are required to divulge the
make-up of their portfolios twice а у
and most funds do it quarterly: but this
information is usually months out of date
before the investor gets it. Anyway, the
law permits funds to hide five percent of
their investments; so if they're into some
thing really imeresing, you probably
won't find it.
AIL other things being equal, which the
never ave it is wise t0 pick a fund with a
good track record, though preferably one
that hasn't been so good for so long as to
bloat the fund то а point where it waddles
rather than runs. Most fund literature
tells the investor to p fund that's
performed well in both up and down
markets, but this advice is dubious, In
general, stocks have been rising for so
long that most funds h
experience in bad markets. Even if you
do find a fund that did well in 1929 or
in any of the more recent setbacks (1962
ar 1966. for instance), there's no
t the same canny men are still ar
the helm. Chances are they were so well
rewarded for their perspicacity that
they've now retired or gone on to better
jobs. So don't pay nearly as much anten-
tion to past performance as уоп pay to
present performance. That is, once you've
decided on а "ve bought
it, keep ап суе on if, over time, you
find it’s not doing as well as many other
funds, or if it's nor doi well
in general, then you should consider sell-
ns out. OF course, the commi
will have paid may make this more d
ficult. If you paid the typicil 9.3 percent,
for instance, unless the fund has iner
93 percent. by th
уса" had much
nce
fund, or once yc
sed
time you sell. you'll
take a loss.
Th one of the big problems in-
volved in investing in the load funds.
Not only is the price of admis
id, it tends to lock.
the investor is Iree to
if getting out
taking a loss duc solely to the
then the investor
but, once it's been
you m. OF course,
л our ar апу time: but
means
salesim.
would have done better not getting in at
all. m bornes to the load funds, they
do lower their commissions drastically
on Кине purchases. This partially accounts
for their increasing, ittractiveness to very
wealthy investors, but it's small consola
tion te the less affluent.
who generally
the rop rite. Here's a
mutualfund. commission
have 10 pay
sample of a
schedule. ls taken from the prospectus
of Feber Capital Fund (run. by the
Enterprise people), but similar rates ap-
ply to most others.
Sales
Amount of Investment Charge
5 300 bur under 5. 25.000, 8.50
S 25.000 but under S 50.000. 6.906%,
S 50,000 bur under 5125.000. . 1.9067,
25.000 bur under 5250.000, 2.90%,
50.000 but under $500,000. 180°,
5500.000 and mare ... -100%
The larger figures are especially inter-
esting m that they ше entirely hy.
ропе: Fleder wont allow апу
investor тө purchase more than 550,500
shares To get the lower
investors
worth of
lso buy
entages, must
other funds in the Enterprise group
Even the smaller figures in the table a
what mythical In a form of
maticil legerdemain peculiar to mutual
funds, the dead funds compute their
missions not оп the value of the
shares purchased but on the entire trans-
commission included, As ап ex-
ample, say you want to invest 51000 in a
fuad. The commission, a salesman tells
S85. So S85
athe.
со
actic
is Bro percer
goes to
the salesman. and related. middlemen,
and the гем. —S915—buys vour fund
shares, Suddenly, voi not investin:
1000 at all. You g 5915 and
paying S85 for the privilege. Long divi-
sion reveals that 585 iy 9.289 percent of
S915, and that’s the typical commission
Transaction: 93 percent. Thi
is a trivial point, to be sure: so trivial
thar the funds should consider comput-
4 1 ht-
forward manner, rather than making
potential customers resort to maihemat
ics they haven't used since high school.
Short of writing for a prospectus and
recomputing the figures, the easiest way
of determining a given fund's maximum
commission сом is to consult the mu-
the daily fi 1
ly papers are woefully
dons more str:
tualfunds ist
pages. Many €
skimpy in their mutualfund. statistics,
bur even the worst usually publish some
sort of listing. which might include sev-
eral hundred dilereni funds, arranged
in alphabetical order. with two prices
after cach name. In terminology mon
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PLAYBOY
192
appropriate to over-the-counter stocks,
the two prices are usually headed “Bid”
and “Asked.” The bid price isn’t really a
bid at all—iv's simply the net asset value
per share of the fund for that particular
oon. That's the price at which the
fund will redeem whatever shares it re-
ceives that day. The asked price is the
price at which it will sell shares, and
the difference between the two prices is the
amount the investor will have to pay in
commissions. From these figures, readers
сап compute precisely what commission
they'll have to pay to purchase а par
ticular fund. Nonmathematiians can
simply examine the two figures to see if
the dillerence (called the spread) is rela-
vely rge, then the
commission on that fund is high, and
vice versa. If the two figures are identi-
Gul, that means there's по сопи
all. In other words, the fund is
load, and you can buy into it at net
assct value, A recent mutual-fund list-
ing in The Wall Street. Journal, which
cach business day publishes onc of the
most comprehensive of all such listings,
showed 297 funds, of which 32 were in
the no-load category.
It’s almost incredible that so many
mutual funds can flourish while there is
their com-
actures. In any ordinary busi
ness, the firm that charged the lowest
commissions would very quickly garner
most of the trade. But in the mutual
fund business, the opposite holds true.
such a gross disparity amon;
mission st
The firms with the highest commission
съ as a group, account for a majority
of the business. One reason. for this is
that he 1 product
perfor unknowable, A fund
that you pay 9.3 percent to get into
adeed, outshine a similar one that
charges no commissions at all. There's no
way of telling until after the fact—when
the information is too late to act on.
mutual-fi future
co
may,
A simpler reason is that high commis.
sions attract good salesmen, and good
salesmen sell funds. In fact, it’s some-
thing of а cliché in the muual-fund
business that fund shares are not bought
—they are sold. This is by way of estab-
lishing the crucial role of the fund sales
man, and the equally crucial role of the
ample commissions that seem necessary
10 sust: him. Lower the commissions
and you will lower his incentive to sell
funds. Having reduced his incentive,
you will find new fund sales diminish
ing. We have seen how the absence of
new money c: а fund's growth,
but im extremis, it can do worse than
that. If sales of new shares diminish to a
point where redemptions exceed them
—that is, if more shares are being
cashed in than purchased—then a fund
is in bad trouble, because it’s forced to
sell some of its investments to r
to redeem its 5
forced liquid;
sell investments they'd prefer to keep, thus
forgoing future profits. Moreover, since
the redemption rate often rises when stock
values are declining, such forced sales
usually occur at just the wrong time,
making funds sell stocks at the very mo-
ment they should be buying more.
In fact, the redemption-sales ratio (re-
lating money going out to money com-
i in) is the Achilles’ heel of the
mutual-fund business. The danger of a
run on mutual funds, similar to the
bank rans that occurred with such dis-
turbing frequency in the Bonnie and
Clyde era, has never been real, be
continuing growth—and an ever-
expanding sales force—has enabled funds
to meet redemptions easily out of new
cash, That is, in the aggregate, they've
always had enough money from new
sales to redeem the shires of current
investors who, for various reasons, want
out. But as the fund industry matures,
it's at least possible to imagine a day
when a relatively large number of
tors, who might have purchased fund
shares long before for the kids’ college
or for retirement, decide to get out. If,
as seems most likely, this increased
desire to redeem comes at a time when
moncy is scarce, stock values arc declin-
ing and sales of new fund shares are off,
then the funds will be forced to sell
many of their investments to raise
enough cash to meet redemptions. A
wholesale liquidation of this sort—esy
cially nowadays, when monolithic ins
tutions of one stripe or another control
а sizable chunk of all common-stock in-
yestments—could cause а stock-market
Li
sell-off of major proportions, feeding on
itself in a snowball effect, as mor
more fundholders perceived ever
ishing stock prices and decided ih.
they, too, should unload. Such a situa
tion actually occurred in Japan in the
carly Sixties; there, however, the govern-
ment halted a potential snowball by
creating a state stock-buying company to
provide a stable market for shares that
the funds were forced to liquidate.
Obviously, а fund selloff of this mag-
nitude has never occurred in the U.S.
In a report to Congress 30 years ago, the
SEC examined the performance of 40
open-end investment. companies. (that’s
all there were back then) during the
boom-and-bust decade between 1927 and
1936. Those years were darkened by the
worst stock market in American fir
cial history; but yet, the SEC. discov-
ered, not a single fund went bankrupt,
nd funds sold $564,000,000 in new
shares and redeemed only $142.000,000
in old ones, In other words, sales outran
redemptions four to one, even during
the great crash of 1929 and the subse-
quent Depression. More recently, in the
brief market crash of Мау 19
the Dow-Jones Industrial Average fell
8.5 percent, fund values deteriorated.
drastically, but people kept buying more:
sales were $292.000.000 that month, and
redemptions only $122,000,000. Fund buy
ers also predominated in the stock-market
decline that began last December, though
the precise figures aren't yet available.
One reason for this unflappable inves-
tor behavior is that a market collapse
tends to lure new customers into the
funds: shrewd investors who know a
bargain when they see one, and less-
shrewd investors who have been chas-
tened in stocks and reach the belted
recognition that they can't do as well on
their own as they might have hoped.
Ultimately, the face that funds аге pur-
chased heavily even in bad t pe
ods is a great credit to the individual
investors responsible for the buyin
They are b nting, and doing it
¢ extent that they do
hunting without the aid of
a salesman, however, they are defeatin
the funds case high commission
rates. In fact, for the intelligent inves-
tor, the most pernicious thing about
mutuablund commissions is mot their
size but what they represent. In load
funds, as in life insurance, a salesman.
when
successfully. To tt
their b
lor
must be paid, whether or not the cus-
tomer needs to be sold. To the investor
us spent weeks or even months
E
g just tbe fund pundits tell
him to do—reading dreary prospeciuses.
deciphering arcane charts, siting in а
sy board room thumbing through the
senberyer books—and then, after all
this work, finally settles on the one fund
that js precisely right for him, it is
rather galling to be forced to give up 9.3
percent of his money to the salesman
who just happens to take his order. The
investor didn't need to be sold and the
salesman. didn't sell him: the fund sold
їе. П anyone is to be paid for the
sales job. it should be the hard-working
investor.
The load funds have an interesting
answer to this, (Actually, they have sev-
eral arguments to support their commis
sion structures, but none as engaging as
this one.) The notion is that a mutual
fund salesman must be compensated for
all his working time—not just the two
minutes he might spend writing the
telligent investors order, but all
the
hours he spends telephoning Young Re-
publican membership lists, attending Ki
wanis luncheons and making friends ас
suburban P. T. A.s The salesman, as the
n, is a valuable pillar in the
freeenterprise firmament, who spends
much of bis time praising the virtues
of capitalism 1o those — oft-negleaed
174,000,000 Americans who, lor various
reasons, do not спе to invest. To resist
the tide of revolution, the load funds may
be justified in taxing those who have the
funds see I
list propaganda effort directed
those who don't. But such а campaig
seems to frustrate the very elements of
choice that are so vital to our free
markets. Besides, mutual-fund salesmen
spend very little time with the people
who really need conversion, and—in this
writer's experience—fund salesmen are
not particularly ve defenders of
capitalism. anyway
One of the reasons for this is that
price competition, that bastion of free
enterprise, is simply legal in the mutual
fund business. Section 22(d) of the In
vestment Company Act of 1940, which
was written with the grateful cooperation
of the fund industry, makes it a Federal
crime to sell a mutual fund at a price less
than whatever the fund's distributor de-
cides it should be. Last year. both the
Justice Department and the. President's
Council of Economic Advisors urged re
peal of 22(d) and, more recently, Senator
John Sparkman of Alaba
that his powerlul Bani
Committee. intends to carefully consid-
er repeal. The load-fund lobbyists
strong and well entrenche
this sort of opposition, they
to capitulate sooner or later.
While load funds certainly provide
their salesmen with incentives to treat
potential responsively and
cordially, and while the constant influx
of new cash generated by these в
may help the load fund's performance
considerably, the would-be purchaser ol
load-fund shares must still include the
ission cost in his investment calcu
lus. Fund salesmen try to minimize the
difference between their funds and their
no-load brethren, In the long run, the
salesmen will say, it's not the 1 cost.
that counts but how well the fund per-
forms, By and 1 this is hogwash. As
а [amous economist once noted, in the
ne
announced.
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PLAYBOY
194
long run we arc all dead. In thc mcan-
time, the future performance of any
а cannot be known. But the
commission cost, since it is paid in ad-
vance, is manifestly knowable. Its the
only cost in а mutual-fund. investment.
that you can calculate precisely before
you commit yourself. To justify taking
the investors money, the load fund
should promise performance not just
comparable with а no-loxd's but Deiter,
so much better as to compensate for the
commission loss and what that would
grow to if it were [ree to compound ove
the years Certainly, many such load
funds exist: Load. funds outnumber the
no-loads by about ten to one, and by
twice that if you compare assets тае
than funds. But at the sta
one can tell which lo:
sufficiently in the forefront to justify their
commission charges. In terms of what
they oller the investor. most load funds
have а 9.3 percent handicap to overcome
and the would-be purchaser must weight
his bets accordingly.
Until a few у
ıd even the
services such a
that
, fund salesmen
vious statistical
perger—tried to
„ despite their
imply load
steep commissions, generally outperform
noloads. This is simply not trne, and
most likely never was. As а matter of
syndicated financial writer J. A. Living-
ston, in a long and perceptive series of
articles published last summer, advanced
impressive statistics—representing а ten-
year period—to show that the no-load
funds, mainly because they allow the in-
vestor to begin with his full capital rather
than with only 90.7 percent of it. gen-
erally make more money for their in-
vestors.
Fundscope tend to conti
perhaps the simplest affirmation of all is
that the best- performing fund in the past.
two years, Neuwirth Fund. is a no-load.
In fact, according to Forbes, four of the
top five performers in 1968 were n
(In the first two and a half months of
this year, however, only 1 of the top
25 funds were no-loads—which probably
proves nothing except the protean na
ture of mutual-fund statistics.)
Because the nodoads, at least in the
aggregate, do offer what se be
better value. and because. lacking а sales
force 10 beat the drums for them, they
re more difficult to learn about than
load. funds here an alpha-
betical list of well-established 1
mutual funds, All of them have been
around for at least eight years. which
gives them something of a track record.
All are dedicated to growth. which makes
them somewhat speculative and there-
fore meresting for the younger
investor, and all have performed. cred-
bly—or at least reasonably well in
the past few years. None charge redemp-
Recent statistics published in
m this, and
-loads.
ms to
we present
no-l
ore
Чоп fees and—except where noted—
they all permit automatic reinvestment
of both dividends and capital-gains
come. The list is not a recommendation,
in-
nd Ше reader might want to
ne some of these, or others not
listed. Addresses arc included. becausc—
on request—any fund will send a pro-
spectus.
merican Investors Fund, 8R Field
Point Road, Greenwich, Connecticut
06830, has been a top performer since
1962, and its assets аге now well over
11,000,000, Мапу of its investment de-
cisions are based on technical analysis—
which m. the fund's mana
preter d nee sheets.
De Vegh Mutual Fund Inc, 2
change Pla New York, New York
10005. is relatively small, with assets
around. $50,000,000, Especially consider-
ing its size, it has a commendably low
expense ratio, which means that its man-
agement is quite diligent їп keeping
costs down.
Drexel Equity Fund In
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
both relatively new (1961) and.
ively ound $42,000,000).
It's done quite well in recent years and,
like A. I. F., it often invests on the basis
of chart action.
Energy Fund, 55 Broad Street, New
York, New York 10004, has assets over
5100,000,000 and favors energy-related
stocks—oil, uranium and so on.
Ivy Fund, Inc, 155 Berkeley, Boston,
Massachusetts 02116, was founded in
1960 and been rated (by Fund-
scope) an above-average performer in
six of the past eight years; it all but
doubled its investors’ money in 1967
and showed a healthy 39 percent in-
crease last ye
Penn Square Mutual Fund, 451 Penn
Square, Reading, Pennsylvania 19603,
has a respectable long-term record and
is assets around $170,000,000
however, its
1500 Wal-
nut Street,
19101. is
rel.
has
now b
reinvestment program is
slightly restrictive, and the would-be
buver should check this carefully.
Scudder Special Fund, Inc.. 345 Park
Avenue, New York, New York 10022,
s been а top performer for the р
i
decade. though it has been. publicly avail-
able for only three years.
Would-be sw
vestigate the g three
funds as well. These are less seasoned
than the previous seven: all were formed
in the past few years and ай fall into
the gogo category: that is, they are
designed for investors who are willing to
entail substantial risk in hopes of sub-
stantially higher profits.
Hubshman Fund, In Filth Ave-
nuc, New York, New York 10019, em-
iques
no-load
ploys sophisticated investing tech
—short selling, leveraging its position by
investing with borrowed money, and
dabbling in sophisticated options called
puts and calls—in the pursuit of greater
profit. Results so far have been mixed:
the fund did fairly well in 1967 but
barely kept pace with the cost of in-
Ration in 1968. Hubshman Fund recently
declared its intention to become a load
fund. so that by the time you read th
it may по longer be ible without
commission. And two months ago, the
fund's chairman and president, Louis
Hubshman, Jr, was chastised by the SEC,
which charged that the fund had been
overgencrous im rewarding its manage-
ment.
Neuwirth Fund,
Building, Middletow
is only two years old and has so far com-
piled а record just short of incredible.
The value of each of its shares increased
300 percent in 1967 and another 72 per-
cent in 1968. As noted, this has made it
the top-performing fund for two straight
years, a feat accomplished by no other
tual fund of any description in mod-
ern memory. However, like most funds,
it has fared poorly so far this year,
g 8 percent in the first ren week:
Gibraltar Growth Fund, 24
rise Boulevard, Fort Lauderd
3304. is also quite new, and performed
just about as well as Neuwirth Fund
1968. In the first few months of 196
however, the fund showed a loss of about
2 percent.
Two of these ten representative. no-
load funds—Energy аза Hubshinan—
deserve special discussion, because each
of them exemplilics а particular. genre
of fund. Energy F the
very few no-loads that are n
purpose funds. The most attractive thing
bout special funds is that they are very
Middletown Bank
New Jersey 07718,
one of
nd is
so speci:
casy for salesmen to sell. A fund de-
ined especially for doctors is presum-
ably ваму sold to doctors. And the
salesmen of а fund pledged to specialize
in oceanography, for instance, can capital-
ize on the glamor and the prospective
riches of an industry that is just. begin-
ning to surface, But while these funds
© casy to sell (that's why almost all of
we Toad funds—they're а sort of
1's delight), they are hell to run,
ny portfolio. manager will
ine the frustration of super
fund pledged (as an improl
ple) to full investment in the fricd-
chicken business, and suddenly discove
а genuinely promising company bur
somewhere in the computer industry.
indusny from whidi you are exduded
by charter. The logic here should be clear:
Unless the investor has some unique in-
sight into the future of oceanography or
fried chicken, he shouldn't be committing
his money to a portfolio that is Largely
restricted to either. Generally speaki
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L
PLAYBOY
196
Put your favorite tobacco in
any Yello-Bole pipe. The new honey
lining in the imported briar bowl
gives you the mildest, most flavor-
ful smoke you've ever tasted.
If rot, return the pipe with
your sales slip to Yello-Bole, and
we'll refund your purchase price.
Free booklet shows how to
smoke a pipe; styles $2.50 to $5.95.
Write Yello-Bole Pipes, Inc.,
York, N.Y. 10022, Dept. уз.
We guarantee you'll like it.
we put honey in the bowl
the m ude a fund has, the better
off its investors are, When the time comes
to get into the ocean or the frying vats.
your fund will be free to do so; and when
both businesses begin to go dry, your
fund will be free to get out. On the
other hand, to the extent an investor
enuine insight imo some particu
dustry, he would be well advised to
individual stocks that he knows
about.
Hubshman Fund is a "hedge" fund.
Hedge funds, as a rule.
mi
re private invest-
nt pools in which wealthy investors
combine their cash and entrust it to a ho
shot ger, who can then play tricks
with it, Because hedge funds are private,
limited partnerships, they don't have to
follow the SEC rules. Th
comes from their habit of hed;
investment position: At any given ume,
a hedge fund not only will own stocks
but it will have sold other stocks short.
ng into the intricacies of
, lor the hedge
it Gan make a profit not only
when stocks go up but (assuming it has
chosen the right losers) when they
down as well Keeping a continuing
portfolio of both long and short po
tions has been a key to succesful specu-
lation in commodities lor generations,
but the technique has only recently
come to the stock market. In fact, the
of one m
hedge fund is the inventio
Alfred Winslow Jones, who is now ap-
proaching 70 but is sill quite active—
nd quite wealthy. One of the most
interesting. things about private hedge
funds—at least for those who run them
—is that the manager generally gets 20
percent of the profits. A hedge fund that
Jones runs has supposedly gained over
1000 percent in the past ten years; even
considering the gement fec,
would make it more successful th
publicly available mutual f
Because of performances like this, the
hedge-fund idea has spread rapidly in
the past few years. Hedge funds are
private operations, so mo onc really
knows how many there are; most. likely
there are hundreds, and they probably
account for 15 billion dollars in invest-
ment capital—five or six times more than
just three years ago. Rumor has
there under-30 m
running hedge funds than there are in
the entertainment industry. Given all
this action, it’s not surprising that a few
resourceful souls would try to translate
the hedge-fund ide mutual fund
Hubshman Fund is the first and—at least.
temporarily—the only one that's
no-load. It was followed by the H
Fund, which had
since 1951 but decided to transmogrifv
into a hedge fund two years аро; a third,
Hedge Fund of America. appeared last
year. The newer entries are both load
this
? any
мі.
тоге
also а
ctually been a
funds, so the small investor will have to
pay standard commissions to get into
them. However, Hedge Fund of America
lowers its commission bite to around
tight percent for investments over 51000,
and gives further breaks to investors
who go in over 51600, over 53300 and
so on. Hedge Fund of America has not
be ‘ound long enough for menin
Tul statistics to pile up. but of the two
that have, Heritage Fund-—the load
fund—has substantially outperformed
Hubshman Fund. no-k
is erstwhile
cousin, According to Fundscope’
ubsh wed 30.6 percent in 1967
and 5 percent in 1968. while Heritage was
racking up gains of 58.7 percent and
17.9 percent. So, in this сазе, the load
fond was the better buy, as its ga
more than compensated. for the ini
commission cost. Parenthetically, an ів.
teresting fact about Heritage Fund is
that its management is paid no annual
fee whatever unless the fund ошрег
forms Standard and Poor's broad stock
index: this is the som of meaningful
incentive that more fund managements
might emulate.
We noted earlier that the technical
meaning of the phrase “mutual fund
excludes а whole genre of fundlike insti
tutions that really shouldn't be exclud
ed. These are the closed-end investment
compat eglected elder brothers.
of the m Is. Like mutual funds,
they arc in the business of investing
other people's money, Unlike mutua
funds, they have a fixed. number of
shares outstandir 1 they neither is
sue new shares nor buy back old ones;
that’s why they're called closed-ends.
"The shares in these companies are trad-
ed on the various stock markets, just like
socks. Obviously, they don't have any
sılesmen: You buy them through your
stockbroker, and pay normal stockbroker
fees These fees, unlike mutual-fund
commissions, are extracted at both ends
of a transaction (you pay to buy and
then pay more to get out). but the com
mission cost of a closed-end fund is still
considerably cheaper than the cost of a
load fund, Moreover, because the market
itself determines the price of closed-end
sh sometimes sell at a discount
from the actual value of the investments
they own. Frequently. closed-end shares
representing $25 in assets will be selling
for 520. Such profits may be largely illu-
sory, however, because when the time
comes to sell, the discount may per
or even be greate
When the author first discussed these
wvesunent. companies, in an
article in these pages in March 1968
(Beating Inflation: A Playboy. Primer),
he listed half a dozen welLestablished
closed-end funds then selling at substan-
tial discounts from their net asset value
Alas, these discounts have now narrowed
three cases—turned.
drastically and—i
into premiums. When shares in these
companies sell at а premium, it means
that investors are willing to pay more
for them than their assets аге currently
worth—presumably in anticipation of
future profits. It also means that
tors who purchased those shares a
ago now have helty сар
should consider
seldom wise to pa
shares (sooner or 1
selling at a discount again), they are not
as attractive as they once were. Still.
Barron's and The Wall Street Journal
h Monday publish a table of closed-
cnd funds, the shares market
ue, their actual asset value and the
percentage. difference. At this writi
handful are selling at relatively small d
counts, and the potential investor might
do well to examine them. Three that have
been in business since 1929 or earlier,
that have assets over 5100,000,000, that
have more than doubled in value in
the past decade and that are currently
selling on the New York Stock Exchange
at a discount are: Surveyor Fund (for-
merly General Public Service Corpora-
tion), Tri-Continental Corporation, and
U.S. & Foreign Securities Corporation.
But before buying the closed-end funds,
aUs in
selling
а count because they're sitting on
bagful of pups. (А pup is the oppo
of
emerging dog.)
The most intei
end
er, they'll all be
ics а good idea to find out wi
their portfolio:
perhaps they
te
companies gencrally—are cur-
rently the dual-purpose funds. These arc
based on an idea that originated i
Great Britain, and they mighr better be
called two-for-one funds. The notion
is si nvesors are interested
in income and others solely in
capital gains, The dual-purpose funds
bring the two together and pool their
ney. When the investments from
the pool begin to run up profits, the
ors get all the income and
the сар Ivestors get all the
capital g simplified. example,
y that Widow A, who has $1000 and
wants all the income she can get from it,
wd Executive B, who also has $1000
id wants all the growth he can. get,
join forces, The result is 52000, which is
duly invested and, in а year's time, 1
prod not unreasonable five per
cent ten percent i
capital р ive percent of $2000 is
$100, and that would go to the widow,
who finds she has received a ten percent
return on her $1000 investment. The
ten percent in capital gains amounts 10
5200, and that goes to the executive,
who discovers he's blessed lia 20 pe
cent return, Almost lously, both
ties are mak uch as they
come
as
ed a
in dividends and
mi
p twice as
“Ts il tennis or surf? I know
would if the fund h
together.
The dual-purpose funds are obviously
more complicated, but that’s essentially
how they work. Each fund has two class-
dnt brought them
es of shares—income shares and
shares. When the funds were
(seven are readily available and
identic for
both classes of shares, But, as with other
closed-end companies, their
shit the stock ex-
changes. As noted, this means that vou
must pay stockbroker Гесу to buy them,
and the whimsy of the market place
determines the price. For some ultimate-
ly whimsical reason, the capital shares of
six of the seven dual-purpose funds are
are
you're some type of bum."
currently sel
Like their closed
at substantial discounts.
d cousins, the dual-
e tabulated
al shares
purpose сар
every Monday in the fi papers.
Below is a recent (March 10) listing of
cial
percentage d
The discounts, as the table shows,
nge from 7.7 to 21.2 percent, with one
nd—for no apparent reason—selling
t a slight premium. In the case of the
six discounted shares, the figures, as the
ying goes. only half the story.
Remember, the capital shares account
for only half the funds’ assets, and the
income shares take up the other half.
But capital shareholder. gers all
жа
the
Net Asset Value Difference
und Capital Share Price
» DualVest Fund sias
15.75
те Fund. RBR
4 Capital Shares 1137
Fund of Boston 11.50
Putnam Duolund 9.75
Scudder Duo-Vest 7.88
516.41
17.
9.00
15.57
11.60
9.63 +
9.41
1326
—166о,
197
PLAYBOY
198 Enjoy none of the dual fu
the gains from both. This means, in the
case of Leverage Fund of Boston in the.
table on page 197, that while the net asset
value of cach capital share is 514.60, the
capital shareholder also has another
$14.60 working for him, because he gets
all the capital gains from the related.
income share, which also is worth
314.60. In other words, on this pa
lar day, the investor could actually buy
1 the future capital gains from $29.20
in professionally managed stock for the
lordly sum of $11.50, plus broker fees.
€ put it a few months ago
Owning dual-fund capit
shares is just like operating on a 40 per-
cent margin—without having to worry
about margin calls from your broker."
It’s difficult to explain why these dis-
counts exist ar all. Given the leverage
or, one would expect that premiums
even substantial preminms—are in or-
der. Some observers—most of them asso-
imed with load funds—have chimed
that the dual funds are ineptly man-
aged, but this is dilicult claim to
sustain. For one thing, the dual-fund
rs are known quantities in the
fund business (most of them have been
successful running other funds); and. for
another, the record simply doesn't bear
this out. In terms of market the
l shares of the seven dual growth
sed an average of 35 perce
year—substantially outperforming
ny other group of funds one cares to fin
з well in terms of net
asset value, increasing around 30 percent.
Yet all seven. were selling at а dis
t from net asset value all last year,
то do so as of this writ-
this pe-
lue.
last
supposedly the gathering pl
ol informed buyers and sellers, is actually
peopled by boobs. A more charitable
nation is that anyone who inv
tively well off d
Mively conservative, and th
с for new intelligence t0 penetr
the consciv y The
funds old and,
f: avesting public, the di
counts on their capital shares narrowed
sharply during the month of February
(the average dropped from 17.6 percent
to 11.4 percent, and that’s when that
the
time this is read, the gap may have closed
further. 1n Great Brita
1 sh.
premium.
Equally
on
cresting is the fact i
discounts have persisted in U.S. du
fund capital shares at a time when they
лге rapidly disappearing from the oth
closed-end investment. companies. Log
cally, one would expect just the oppo-
site. Ordinary dosed-end companies
ads’ glamorous
twoforone potential. Moreover, ord
ry closed-end companies are set up to
endure forever, so that their sharchold-
ers will always have to go to the market
and find a buyer when they want out
The dual funds, however, have а built-
in expiration date (between 1979 and
. depending on the fund), after
come investors. get thei
money back (it ranges from
$9.15 to $19.75 a share, depending on
eholders
the fund)—and the capital sh
get all the rest.
‘or younger investors, the expiration
dates of the dual funds seem to с
most precisely with the dist
when they might most be needing the
money. And even if those discounts pe
sist for the next decade (assuredly, they
won't), the dual-fu vestor is guar
teed to get full asset. value—whateve
that might be—when the time comes. ОГ
course, he ways get out before-
hand, by selling his shares in the market
place. Putnam Duolund—the опе sell-
ing for a premium—trades over the
counter, and the rest are listed on
New York Stock. Exchange.
The six that are listed. on the
board seem especially attractive,
only because of their discounts bu
cause the N. Y. S E. offers а "Monthly
Investment. Program" that n
investors (or large ones, for that m
ter) to buy listed shares in fixed-dollar
mounts. The transaction must be ini
med through a broker, but
irs all done through the mails. The
investor simply sends whatever amount
he cares to whenever he fecls like it,
the stock he’s picked is bought for hi
at i се the d
check is rec
ownerhip of fractio
puted. as with funds, down to four deci-
places), so that, as with funds, every
penny he spends (less broker fees, of
course) goes to work for him. In all
Hows «
stock transactions, the brokerage cost
makes purchases of less than $200 or
$300 uneconomical, it
M. 1. P. investor doe self to
accumulate that much, the program ac-
cepts lesser amounts, down to $40 a shot.
The M. I. P. ako allows automatic rein-
vestment of dividend or other income,
though with the dualfund capital shares
there won't be amy, since the income
shareholders get all the dividends, and
capital gains keep piling up to the cred
it of the capital sh
ique сап be used to pm
ny doselend investment compi-
ny stock—as long as it’s listed
on the big board.)
Before the investor rushes out to buy
into the d s, however, he should
be aware th makeup pro-
a the event
ny—or
п, that the
become literally
А prior obliga-
es could
worthless, due to the fu
ion to give the income investors th
у back. The would-be investor
should also scrutinize the funds’ portfo-
lios to make sure that the funds are
investing in the sort of things he c
live with. The dual fu
to paying their income
minimal annual dividends;
this obligation, some of them have тє
tively I
ncome-prod
led conservat
these investments don't. promise capital
gains, the capital shareholders will
suffer. Most of the funds have resolved
their built
heavily in convertible bonds—a
mendably clever solution, even though
the bond market has been going to hell
as interest rates break through record
levels. The would-be investor should also
know that management fees for all dual
funds (except Hemisphere and С
from capital gai
vidend income, which
‚ thar the income sharcholders
re subsidizing the cost of m
nd the capital shareholders are
a free ride; bu
agement has an extra incentive 10 pic
duce lots of income, which, once a
may not work in the best interests of the
capital shareholder.
Both these problems should diminish
with time. Once. the dual funds have
grown to a point where they сап easily
meet their income obligations, which
fixed, they cin begin to cater to th
dreams of their capital | shareholders,
which are probably limitless. These
dreams might even approach fulfillment,
because over the years, the double lev
age elleci—magnified. even further
the i
could conceivably
ma
sare c
shaveholdeis
nd to meet
by investi
schizophreni
com.
lor
а discoun
into a m
of investment profits,
Jound exclusively to the
benefit of the capital sharcholders.
ОГ all the investmentcompany situ
ions currently available, the deeply dis-
counted dualfund capital shares seem
among the most promising. The y
estor, who's willing to accept
the possibility of total loss and the
im vagaries of market caprice, n
profit h from а w
wvestment—or investment. prom
these two-for-one shares. Or he
just as well (and incur less risk)
смог who gets in à
cuni
both
uer
ndsomely
n most
of the other funds discussed: closed-end
‚ nodoad or even full-load
which course the investor
assuming he chooses wisely and
ihe market holds up—he'll find, in the
near or di: re, that he has been
well rewarded for his foresight,
“Do you realize we haven't bailed since the vibrator blew out?”
199
PLAYBOY
200
PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR
(continued from page 160)
ski boots and PK poles, and she'll be
thed for the slopes in a
stylishly
rabbit jacket from Alper Furs and s
fashions from Peter Kennedy: for riding
back to the lodge. shell have an Arctic
Panther snowmobile and will be wearing
snowmobile suit lined in leopardskin,
with boots, from Arctic Enterprises. Con-
can also ther scene
swa
gun and Grisbi knile—all from
Divers. Should she encounter any sl
—pool sharks, that is—a Brunswick cus-
d cue with monogrammed case
should stand her in good stead, or she
n bowl them over with a new ball, also
from Brunswick. For her less strenuous
U.
ativil our winsome winner will be
dressed in a combination of Aris custom.
gloves, forward-looking fashions from
Walter Holmes’ Vibration collection and
imported shoes from Thayer McNeil. To
highlight Connie's on- or offcumcra ap-
pewancs, she'll receive a selection of
Saunda cosmetics and a wardrobe оГ
Brentwood Bellissima wigs, and she'll be
further adorned with a Lady Hamilton
diamond wrist watch, a gold Rabbit
with ruby eye from Maria Vogt and ап
Azalea Pink Linde starsapphire ring de-
signed especially for о y jewel.
out. Connie's gatefold grab bag
an AM/FM stereo auto unit. from
. W. Electronics, on which—if her vocal
attributes come anywhere near her visu
ones—she may soon hear the finished
products of her Monument Record Coi
poration contract. She can then toast her
success with a [ull case of Paul Masson.
Magnum brut champagne—or write home
bout it all on her new Smith-Corona
electric typewriter. With a nationwide
tour of Playboy Club cities in her future,
Connie now looks forward to the State-
wets missing in the
de of Detroit. I've only been
id Los Angeles," she says. “I
aven't seen much of Ameri
ig from public reacti
Playmate’s ma
pparent tha
ning
debuts, it’s
seen enough of Con
t America hasn't
ic, either.
“Already? I thought it would take them at
least a w
ek to build an ever-tightening net of
incriminating evidence.”
gemni
(continued [rom page 144)
You guys should have been named
Pete and Repeat.
And the salespeople. Well, we usually
get only one of cach size in the same
color, ma'am, I can see you have a prob-
lem when you have to dress two alike, so
1 can try to order another one for you
special.
And the teachers. Z don’t mind having
two students with the same last names,
or name, but when they also look as
alike as two peas in a pod—well, did you
ever try to tell the difference between
two identical peas?
1 tried not to let it spoil things.
We hated to be separated.
One time, I had to go out of town on
а business trip. Before E met Joan, I used
to like these trips on the expense ac-
count; T used to milk them, make them
last as long as I possibly could, get out
and see the sights, live it up. But now I
hated every minute of it. I wanted to be
with her. I finished my business in a
hurry, cut my trip short, rushed back.
“Oh, how I missed you,” she said.
“Don't ever go away again," she said.
I never did,
But then she went a
weeks of vacation coming, and I thou
she could arrange to take her vacation at
the same time and we'd go away togeth-
ег. Mexico, Hawaii, maybe even Europe,
it didn't matter; the main thing would
be to be together, for a lot of days, all
day long, from sunup to sundown, and
all through the night, the nights, the
delicious plurality of nights.
"Oh, my dear, my dear, І can't! I'd
love to, but I can't, not this time!” She
told me about the Iongawaited trip with
her girlfriends, something that had been
planned before she met me, and she just
couldn't let them down.
“It will just be two weeks, darling. Oh,
I know long time, and I'll ache for
you every minute, but in two weeks I'll
be back, and th
So I let her go.
The days were empty. Tt was worse
than the time I was out of town, because
then I had business, sales conferences,
packing and unpacking and packing
to keep me busy.
1 stayed late at the office, I killed time
at a doubledeature Bogart revival, I
watched a lot of stuff on television, any-
thing to fill up the hours, deaden the
pain. I didn’t see anybody. I didn't want
to see anybody. Only her. I used to th
ay. T had two
that "counting the d а
figure of speech. But I literally counted
the days. One day, two d ес days.
On the third day, the first letter came.
It was full of love, full of chatter. And,
somewhere in the middle, on the fourth
page (I should have realized it could
happen, knowing what city she went to),
she wrote:
Thad the strangest experience today. I
was walking down the street and I was
sure | saw you coming toward me, but 1
knew it couldn't be you. Because this
man walked right past me without recog-
nizing те. and he was wearing a cordu-
тоу car coal, and you don't have one.
Well, I stopped him and, sure enough,
he was your twin brother. I told him
who І was, Oh, darling, you two really
do look alike. We couldn't have lunch,
because he was busy, but he said he'd
call me, You know, though, you're better
looking.
T suppose it had to happen
The nest lener said. in part, He final-
ly called, end we had dinner together
last nighi. И was very nice of him, T
thought, and 1 didn’t think you'd mind.
T mean, it's not like he's a complete
stranger, is i? H's funny, 1 feel as if I
almost know him. But he's not as much
fun as уоп. even if he is just a little bit
better dances. My darling, 1 do miss you
Th was one more lener, and then
she returned.
І knew she was back.
phone kept ringing
wouldn't answer it. Later th
heard. her my door, ringing the bell
knocking. pounding, calling my name. I
sat there. silent. in the dark. After a
while, she went Some time passed
because
ringing. |
t evening. I
my
and
and then the phone started ringing
in. T let it ring.
Each shvilling of the telephone bell
long sharp icicle that stabbed my
heart. froze my hear ed me
and again and again.
After a while, it stopped.
Then it started again. the pointed
stick of ice. jabbing into my heart. time
after time after ti alier time.
I took the phone off the hook (think-
ш. wryly, as 1 did it, how odd it is thi
still that word "hook." even
though telephones haven't had hooks for
years).
Thad some Scotch. about half а bottle,
left over from the previous Christmas, a
gilt from someone. 1 don't know who. I
drank most of it. It took а long time. It
had no effect on me whatsoever
He was greedy even then. He wanted
the whole place to himself.
How does it go—"It is better t0 have
loved and lost than never to have"—but
that's nonsense. То have а love like ours
and then to lose it, that's like the story
we use
of two blind men someone told me a
long time ago. "| asked two blind men
how it felt 10 be blind. One said he
didn't know- he was born blind. The
other said miserable—he just got blinded.”
Sitting in the dark, in the silence that
was broken only by the hum of the
uncradled phone,
It's not that E hate her. E couldi't hate
I understand why she did
4 ness of it. the uniqueness,
the curiosity. In her place, I might have
done the same.
I don't even hate h Т used to think
I hated him. when we were kids, but
now I know that I can't hate him with
ош hating myself
But it can't go on lil . For his
sake, as well as lor mine and The
Pete and Repeat, the Gold Dust Twins,
It’s got to stop.
And it will stop.
Sweetheart she s in the last letter
you'll get a kick out of this. We played
tennis yesterday and | saw this mark he
has above his knee. It's kind of funny-
looking. and Im glad. youre the tem
I'm going to marry; | wouldn't want all
my kids to have knees like that. (Pim
only kidding: there me other reasons I
prefer you, too!)
uld have to do it when I
Tennis, And she hates
sports. hates the sun for wh:
redheads. ‘There was only опе way she
could have seen that mark on his knee
and I knew I would have to do what I'm
going to do tonight.
Гап going to toss a coin.
Heads I Kill him, tails Е Kill m
1t really doesn't matter, just a
опе of us is Lice,
her; 1 love her
he sir
I knew I w
it does to
sell.
long as
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201
PLAYBOY
THE AMERICAN NOVEL
the real explorers of this country's unad-
vertised life? The novelists who electrified
me and hundreds, perhaps thousands, of
young kids like myself between 1936
and the outbreak of the War were ideal-
ists in the most adventurous sense, no
matter how stained their material seemed
to be on the surface. И you s:
body, as I soon be
ing into print on the De Witt Clinton
High School s an
adult, “I wanted to write,” it could mean
only one thing: the novel. A bigness
impossible to recapture in 1969 attached
to those three power words “wanting to
write.” One had the image of climbing
the jaggedest of the Rockies alone. fly
ing solo like Lindbergh, pitting one’
ultimate stult against all the odds of
middle-class life and coming out of the
toughest kind of spiritual ordeal with
that book-that-was-more-th book, that
was the payoff on just about everything,
held in your hand, It was heavenly com-
bat, the way I pictured it, self-confronta-
tion of the most hallowed kind; and if
my vision of it was ultraultra, then the
legendary American novel itself at this
time was the most то! ichicvement
there was in U.S. life for the dreamer
who lived inside everybody with a taste
for language. style—and justice!
To have wanted to be a writer in this
country in the late Thirties had about it
gorgeous mystique that was inseparable
from the so-called American Dream on
which every last one of our good writers
Dream,
American
myth-hungry society had the option
to try to fly above the skyscrapers, then
t American nov-
$ not only an act of literature but
с allumation of the dream dust
coated ай of us born under the
АП the driving personal. ambitio
ergy, initiative, the prizing of individual
conscience and courage that operated or
was supposed to operate in every other
branch of national life entered strongly
о wanting to be а novelist—but with
a twist, The act of writing а novel made
use of all these widely broadcast qualities,
ус. but the reward one sought in it was
not palpable gold; best sellers as such
were sneered at unless they ocurred by
accident; the goal was one of absolute
truth to the material, to
on the unmapped moral and aesthe
landscape of huge America that would
somehow redeem the original intentions
of the country and the seles made by
nd represent the purest kind of success
story for the person who brought it olf
This meant that being а typical good
American novelist in the Thirties, even
202 wanting to be one, was not finally de-
(continued from page 126)
pendent on having an extraordinary gift
for telling a story in print. Certainly,
there were п: ive and stylist
cV" such Faulkner, Hemingw:
perhaps even the carly O'Hara, James
‚ Djuna Barnes—each buff and lover
of the period will name his or her own—
nd their overpowering skill with the
craft was ohen а virtuoso. performance
that set standards and became models to
aim at. But the American novel became
a great art only in its outward finish
nd skill, in the Thirties, because of the
notivation that made
perhaps the sweetest.
amble in n life, You might
most say that the romantic promise of
the country as a unique society of poten-
tial total justice for all, pegged on the
limitless possibilities of each individual
—all the raging hope that the American
Dream slogan meant to the imagination
of its most ardent dreamers—was all part
of the religion of wanting to be a novel-
ist when I got the call while in high
school. If the idea of the mystical
can novel had not been bou
all of these big national feelings and
aspirations that writhed around in the
direct center of one's being, that wa
more th. erature” and seemed to be
the most thrilling embodiment of one’s
destiny as а member of а making-the-
impossible-possible society, I doubt if 1
and so many prose writers my age would
have chosen the written word as our
badge.
It was the ambition (when the time
came at 15 or 16 to tell yourself w
you “wanted to be”) chosen in the pride
Of the secret imagination by rebel
s, now in their 40s, who bclieved the:
could rebuild reality closer to the Amer
сап soul's desire by writing in the light
faith that would transform
its of frustration о: justice
into the opposite. By this I mean that
because they wanted to believe in the
promise of the country, were inseparable
from its myth, were tied up emotionally
and psychologically and every other way
with Amer Imost as if it were a
person—with their own fulfillment as
human beings actually dependent upon
the fulfillment. of the nation at the
poetic height at which they conceived it
—they felt they could let go in the novel
to the full extent of their negative imagi-
nation. Everything bad, awful, unjust,
alul, stupid amd outrageous in thei
or theirs in relation. to the
nd them could be discharged at
nal form, with the
ion that st
and right to give such ferocious bite to
negative expression because it was all an
attempt to redeem an invisible. psychic
Bill of Rights. Tow
was ў
n
shown by the extent of the
dark "realism" in the characteristic novel
of the time, was the climate in which the
fictional life of the Thirties grew to
bursting; the more the novelist envi
sioned “the way things should be,
more he and his readers felt he had the
duty to show the ugly side of the land,
the failure of the ideal, the color of the
pus, the company goons beating down
the strikers.
We kids who wanted to write the
American novel knew without analysis,
responded totally with our sharpened
feelers to the unspoken values that lay
behind any particular book in questio
if Weidman's What's in It for Me? on
O'Hara's Hope of Heaven showed heels
and weaklings with special corrosiveness
of scene, dialog, action, nailing them to
the wall with the brilliance that comes
from a mixture of contempt апа pity. we
shared enthusiastically in the experience
we knew that in writers of
s stripe, the moral
t, rather than ех
teinbeck, Wolfe or Wright
implicit or explic-
doxically
beca sc
WES as in
It didn't matter to и:
it, because we were instinctively clued in
to the intention of all the late-Thirties
novelists just by wanting to make the
same nitty-gritty comment on our own
Ше; we knew by [eel that even if a
specific book bailled our haughty teen-
age heads, it contained a purposive
thrust about а segment of the country’s
аз Giticizing Americ
der the table in order to purge and lift
it: it was forever encroaching on the
most taboo, subtle and previously unde-
fined aspects of our mutual life to show
a truer picture of the way we lived.
Those of then, who couldn't forget
what we had already been through—who
remembered each hurt, black skin, Yid-
nk, wop ignorance,
too tall too poor. afraid of
girls, afraid of boys, queer, crippled, sis-
sies, young-bud neurotics/psychotics, the
most vulnerable and stung of the new
generation who could fight back with
words—it was we who thought th
being novelists would heroically тесі
oumelves by re-creating the bitter truth
about our perso
ronment. Obviousl tivity of
the most pierc ind to provide the
openings in the. personality where p
ful experience could lodge. and stick, so
that one day it would all be poured
forth in answer against frustration (both
personal and social) vou must never
forget that we who wanted lo be nove
not only thought it was the most [ree
and ultimately ethical means of Ameri-
can expression, we were abso squeezed by
un-
dish nos, Irish dr
too short,
the very existential nuts into needing
fiction in order to confess, absolve and
justify ош life. The majority of
us who wanted to write were already
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PLAYBOY
middle-dass losers who couldn't make it
nside the accepted framework, the thin-
skinned minority who were set apart in
our own psyches to observing when we
med 10 act and to thinking when we
wanted to participate—the kids who
were constitutionally unable to do the
suddle-shocd American thing during the
smoking acid bath of adolescence.
Do T therefore mean, to hit it square-
ly. that writing fiction for me and my
breed was a pimply kind of revenge on
life, an outcast tibe of young non-
Wheaties failures getting their own back,
all the shrimpy, titles. thick-lensed, crazy-
headed dropouts and sore losers of
American youth resolving in the utter
misery of the datcless Saturday night to
shoot down their better-favored. peers in
the pages of a novel? Yes, I flatly mean
u part; the mimetic ability, the gi
to recreate lifelike scenes and dialog, to
be good at acute descriptio
Lave one’s moral perceptions heightened,
is spiced and rehearsed by unhappiness.
Wasn't the novel, to those of us caught
in the emotional hell of American
teendom, а wish-fulfillment device for
would-be lovers banished from the sen-
d that tumed us via radio,
d, movie marquee and our own
unconscious? From (in my
case) the big, smooth, “in” gentile world
of blue eyes and blonde һай and supple
tennisracket bodies that I felt I could
ever be part of and that then seemed
like the top of the heap?
Yes, the American novel for those of
us who were precocious outsiders—and.
there were a thousand reasons why each
one of us failed to measure up to the
‚ lo even
afternoons amd made us silendy
nto the bathroom mirror on $
was a magic, lifelike
which we thought we could work off our
ме wicls, transform. them into mes
of hope and light and remake our
lives themselves by the very act of writ
ing a novel. This art form, then, for us,
was many things: the frest and most
1014] kind of expression for reality-lovir
sis; the place where truth could be
1 in real life
mind (psyche
ide,
told as it could n
place but one
was still a decade off for most of
and a form so close to living matter itself
that the illusion of personally control
ling experience instead of being its fall
uy or victim could not hav
sronger. Sure, the novel was а let
1 form, even for those of us who war
ed to use it for the rede
fication of self; bur it was
female art that was responsive lo the
most private subjective needs and it pro-
icd the only complete outlet for being
that was choked and distorted. in our
been
204 waking relationship to society. To us, it
was the golden cup of a modern fable
one that we could fill to overflowing
with alb the repressed hunger in our-
selves and also one that could announce
Our fame, toast us to the sky becuse of
our verbal triumph over the weights that
nearly crushed us, make come true
imagination what could not be realized
the bruising action of daily life
ОГ course. it was action on а
level, action with words; but in the fina
nies was
every
great real
documentar
ic style of the TI
. bangban
п our
bi
radio tube, driving as
the Salt Lake tats
s style is like the metal of
You can't lay his story
cw of Literaturc).
But this was only the outward enameling
that we swung with ly caressed
because it was «ll so new and fresh, a prose
like the artifacts of the country itself—
streamlined. Our stripped down, whipped-
down appreciation of. power loved it bul-
leting across the p-ge, Yet behind the lean,
aware, dirty knowingness we were stylis-
tically tuned in to was that assumption,
as if by divine right, of impossible frec-
most modern
plane, lit up like
а racing саг on
(James Са
an automa
down."
el me
dom—the novelist working out his total
hidden life before our eyes—that made
novel writing in America such а tremen-
dous adventure, no matter how pinching-
ly personal the original motives might be
that drove you to your desk
I am certain that those of you reading
this who came of age in the same Iate-
‘Thirties period recognize the excitement
bout the novel that I am пу
recapture because it made me what ] am,
їаПу. Can vo human
lly molded by something as
abstract as а literary form? Yet it was
quite real, not only in my case but in
that of the sensitive ci 1 of an entire
generation who graduated from high
S. novel һай grown
ally stretched us with
broad-shouldered possibilities. Our
ues, coloring and slant as people were
^d by the overwhelming idea of
being novelists, the beautiful. obsession
that kept us secretly. spiritually high like
arly Cl ns. It pulled us up with
humility, humbled us with pride, made
us into every character we imagined and
put us in every story we could cook up;
not outwardly as
d there we
g to
һе а
so big that it lite
but w
might express it
correspondences,
inembryo tough!
п actors as
coolly loved.
ourselves for the infinite т
thar easily gave itself to us
could be goddamned sure to no one else.
When T flunked out of college in 1940, a
year after finishing high school, for cx
ample, this was not even remotely see
as а failure by me and mine but, rather.
as a new and soon4o-bcsignificant. phe
nomenon that I would be able to write
about from firsthand experience. The
first time I got laid, drunk. smoked
“tea.” shipped out (and jumped ship
before we left Sandy Hook), saw death,
spent the night in а hospital-clean Pitts-
burgh jail, masturbated over the fantasy
of going to bed with my sister, put on
women's panties and silk stockings for
kicks, got into my first adult street. fight
and almost had the mortal shit kicked
out of me—all of these firsts and а
hundred others were special, fated, grand
experiences for me and for those like mi
because 1 was а novelist-to-be and I was
What
proof vest we all
ovel (which was another
ion or faith in the no
churchily modern sense).
ar with my output knows; but
І was made ind mind and
ier in thei newer
eration (and even my own exact со!
temporary, Tony Cu ce Bernard
Schwanz) has been created by the mov
ics. The reasons I never added my own
by-line to that passionate list are many
some perso: well as cultu y
not have had the “talent”—although 1
published my small share of vivid short
stories—or, what is more likely, the
needs of the post-World War Two per
od shifted їп my eyes and in those of my
friends and we put much more impor
one famil
tance on trying to understand a new
world zooming up around us than on
t we already knew. We
. in manner, crisply intellectual.
instead of openly lyrical; but much of
same apocalyptic sense of possibility
that we once felt in the U.S. novel now
went into ation (Ше name ol
the game was literary criticism), until
the work of became lor us a
means to examine life itself. Wasn't that
what all about, anyway?—at least,
sincere and often troubled
rationalization at the time. But even
though the form began to slowly cha
in the late Forties and сапу Filties tor
rada iti
tion instead of fiction, the goal rema
essentially the same: the
fiction
it wa
so ran ou
minority of us, to nonfic
ned
who
personally cared, because thei
s were so helplessly involved
in this newly shifting, remarkably unst:
ble. constantly selLanalyüng and self-
doubting society that had shot up alter
the War.
And I was
the same: I sweared the
“Look at it this way—your medium is your message!"
205
PLAYBOY
206
national anxiety out in myself (What
ction was | going to go in?) the
а of the novel sill h:
as a kind of star but get ther and
farther distant a other
15— politics, poetry, sociology, history,
inting, etc exposed and I u
powerfully to educate myself, now that,
s а nonnovelist, 1 was being challenged
socially and even in print. The dream of
being а novelist, the dream that bein,
novelist had been in this counuy,
me warm for 20 years: I had. put
lden hope eggs
w 1 was torn
fantasy by my fa
forced 10 fend. for
hard-boiled community (the
literary-politic: zines, where I pub-
lished) that had no sympathy for my
tle nal couplet of "What the
п Novel Me Me." They
thought it was either а put-on, because I
had wr none, or а sentimenta
dulgence. Therefore, whether it was be
cause D temporarily allied myself. with
the so-called new criticism in its more
cerebral search for reality—and there
were a number who had wanted to be
fictionists (even wrote their one or two
novels) who took this further crook in
the country’s prose road along with me
—or because basically I did not think
"noselistically; n all honesty, I
am forced to doubt, or else all my for-
mer covetous years were pitiably unreal
jeve, because truth no long-
er seemed to me to reside in my beloved
my voung
[ties to
ept
Ш my
from
lure to
act
regard the novel as a used-up medium.
For a person like myself, confessedly
t hope and direaion by this
tified in all my agon
n goofs by its very existence, be-
se 1 thought I could one day redeem
them through it, the beauty of knowing
the novel was there like a loving woman
for me to go to when beaten to my
knees, it wasn't an easy emotional matter
for me to say in my mind, “It doesnt
sing for my time the way it once did."
But 1 said it—at least for myself. What
had happened, not only to me but, I'm
to others who came from my
environment, was a fundamental
с in our perception of where the
significant action lay: The fictional real-
m on
seemed to lead almost log
which we had been shaped
Шу to that
it was now impossible to restrain our-
selves from wanting to go over the edge
mo autobiography, the confessional es
say, reportage, because in these forms we
could escape from the growing feeling
that fiction was artificial compared with
using novelistic sweep on the actual єх-
perience we lived through every d.
In other words, the very realistic Thir-
ties novel that had originally turned us
de us want to take that giant step
her into the smellable, libelous, un-
faked dimension of sheer torn-pocket
my actual goodbye-world flip-out
1955; James Agee actually pounding
on his small car in $ Monica а у
before he died and telling a friend. of
mine who had casually quoted a line
from Agee nd only book of
poe: low ! L should have
written only poetry!,” sobb
ged on the hood with
wan looming tight-faced over Paddy
Chayefsky and me at the Russian Tea
Room, saying moodily that he had to see
the isolated Сіон! Odets, Golden Boy
with cancer, who had crept back to New
York to sniff the ozone of dead triumphs
before perishing on the Соам: my те
membering while Kazan spoke with dis
embodied Haines how 1 had met Oders
ty of North Carolina
iken me for a drive in
lillac and switched me on so
I rapped pre-On the Road about
speed and how the strange iodine odor
body
once-
and wiry Brillo
reportorial facts now became the truer
story far those of us whose appet
what is had been built up to а point no
longer satisfied by fiction.
feeling of
gly had about the
pingful statement for the
nd Sixties, the audience for
In ad rele
vance th:
re firs mentally and emo-
ally bowled over by its momentum.
TV, movies, electroni
of every sort were cutting i time
people who were totally alive to
their era could spend on prose fiction; if
it was story you wanted, in the old
Saturday Evening Post sense, you could
ized for you on the late:
a multimedia
bed: and
to the
е show wi
g with you
it was only the specialists, criticteach
the people in the book u
seemed
le, who
ut strenuously
t the. novel's dash
was being ta way from it by the new
media. These electronic whispers of to-
morrow could in а momentary flash do
К прет. and Conrad spent their
lifetimes trying to achieve with words:
“Above all to make you sec.”
Of course, you can say that the post-
Faulkner U.S. novel по longer
sought out for story values per se but,
ather, for radical insight into existence;
that the form provided a framework for
attack from
surd” qua
the realistic Th
to hol
to me
was
1d also more than granted that extraoi
dinarily talented. writers. were. opening
up this form and g it as limitless
ocean which can only define it-
(Marguerite Young), writers such
as John Barth, Young herself, Ralph
Ellison, William Burroughs, Joseph Hel-
ler, Norman Mailer, Hubert Selby, Ken
Kesey, Donald Barthelme, etc; the list is
big because there were and ате that
many highly imaginative writers who
have been Ча
fiction du
cally, as the
[
its effec.
novel has shed
eness in our society, there has never
been since the Twenties such а yell of
native talent, wild originality. deadly
challenge.) But the basic fact 1 noticed
as the deluge of new fictional expres
sion increased ership became a
than the great th
1 been—and the practical im-
possibility of keeping up with the diver
sity of new books (new lives!) beca
obvious—was that the impact of the novel
on our beings, on my being, was no longer
as audial as it had been. From my ow
changing point of view, tremendous State-
side writers could still appear
loosely called а novel—and what forn
has become looser?—but I felt that the
entire role of dı
American novelist as 1
lly heroized it had to be wans-
ato something entirely dillerer
as to be as masterful to the imagi
nation of the Sixties as
me in the Thirties.
In this sense: For me and my breed,
writing fiction was not an entirely realis-
tic, naturalistic, rational һи ter
prise, in spite of the auth
imitation of reality оп which we were
nderneath the accurate
I bathed in dream or
myth; we who wanted to mythologize
ourselves and America (and they wer
inseparable) were tying to personally
had ori
formed
it м
docirinarad;
surlace, it w
lift the national life into the realm of
justice; we were auempting to
total
se the
freedom of our
icin experience imo th
itual payoll. We wanted to
salem" (Blake) out of Americ
green breast” (Scott Fitzge
and the novel was our transcendent, our
more-than-coukd-everbe vehicle for this
rocketing need toward fulfillment of
both ourselves and the national seed that
had begotten us. In other words, ош
novel was a form of imaginative action
Ш you, the novelist, couldn't make it to
the height of your vi led
straight or nonliterary life because of
one l p or another, then you did it
through your books even better; but the
goal was the same as the man of action's,
your books were decds that came out of
your mixture. of vision and moral com-
mitment (Hemingway, Farrell, Wolfe)
ion in
hei
3o:
PLAYBOY
208 own lik
Settle an argument, will you—is this the
Paris Hilton or the Lisbon Hilton?"
and they stood as the seal of where you
were humanly at as clearly as if you had
sewn your cardiogram into the binding.
"There could be no faking about taking a
stand and you were measured every step
of the way by readers who took your
fictions as acts that influenced the world
of the U.S. spirit until they were ошай
waned by new and more penetrating
fictional commitments. It wi soul con-
test of the keenest kind, with the country
as beneficiary.
But the effectiveness of such imagina
tive action today seems to have been
reduced (о mere toenail picking by the
tornado voices of the mass media,
Whether or not you and I like it, we
have all—novelists as well as readers—
become pawns in the newscast of cach
"s events. “Our” novel can no longer
lect these events in even an indirect
sense: Almost every ounce of my energy
(for example) is used in coping with my
; things happen too fast for me
nce of some
10 be affected by the
protagonist а fiction; I am spun
ound by cach latest threat to my sur-
vival; and what was once the charism:
lure of the American novel now becomes
for me and countless others an exi
gance instead of a necessity. But isn't
that what makes art forms change—when
life leaves them in the lurch? When
concern moves away from them. not by
design but by a gut barometer whereby
we seek out what is most vital to us and.
jettison the rest? Because of my existe
1: ience with fiction as it related
directly to my Tife—and 1 concede that
this could be a flaw of temperament,
although it is backed up by my profes-
work as an editor of new writing
and am forced to believe that i
for readers all over the country; and I
felt and feel that prose must find а form
that can meet this reality
excitement
when the novel was more than a novel
and evoked a mystic response that
molded being itself, as well as ап au-
thor's reputatioi
But what happens, then—I have had
to ask myscelí—to our significant writers
e still either in love or "impris
' in a traditional form that is losing
its cultural importance in spite of thcir
sonal flights? What happens
пиу: ask myself also—to that a
some authority of thc imagi m
encouraged, demanded. people who
themselves novelists to create human.
beings (like nature itself) and dictate their
lives and fate (like gods or supreme jus-
es of the universe)? What happ
further, to that great ton of submerged
American experience locked inside them
selves, more raw, subile, potential human
riches than the combined knowledge of
sociologist-psychiatrist, precisely because
it was garnered by their blood as well as
brain? What happens, in short, to il
special mission, what to me for many
years was almost a holy mission, of mak-
ing an imaginary American world that
would be more real than the actua
икен?
And where, as а final question, does
the legendary U.S. novelist go when,
except for a handful of individuals, he is
no longer a culture hero in a radically
new environment, when his mediun
passing into the void of time and when
he is still stuck with a roaring inner
need to speak, confess, design, shape,
record—the whole once-glorious shmear?
There is one drastic way out and суеп
up, as I personally see it now in 19
and that is for the American novelist to
abandon his imitation or caricature of a
reality that in sheer voluminosity has
dwarfed his importance and to become a
communicator directly to society, w
out hiding behind the mask of fiction
must
a
make it clear that what follows
represents my own need and desire imag-
ined out of the confusion of our time
and my unwill
prim
agness to accept а litera-
у a reflection of our
helplessness; commiued novelists,
and some very sharp oncs, too, will
doubtless block me out of their conscious-
ness and continue to make an ever wilder
rt of their materials to match the паці.
ness that fevers our days; I will always be
a sucker for their spirit and bow to the
new images they will oller us, but my
compelling feeling "that now as never
before is the time for writing to become
direct action and cause things to happen
kes even potentially great novels grow
I compared with what Т can envision
if the novelist puts his power into speak-
3 straight to his audience.)
The American novelistic imagination
as T received it with open hert and
mind 25 and 30 years ago was really the
most fully human expression of this
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nd it is the new
izing of American writing by the
boldness of direct communication, the
revolutionizing of the writers relation-
ship to his reader, that seems to me
tremendously needed right now
than the pale echo of fiction. Instead of
novelists. I believe we now actually have
only literary individuals themselves, men
and women struge h their own
destinies as people in relation to oth
people and with the problems that
thr swamp us all—emotional,
sexual, political. racial, artistic, philo-
sophical. financial—and that these should
be sined to the reader as candidly as
possible, so that һе, 100, сап be brought
imo the umial nonnovel of Ameri-
ife uly demo-
tion. that
y at that time;
more
меп do
w
can
nd make possible a t
ie
cratic prose of total comm
can lead то new action in society itself
I believe the ex-novelist, the new com-
municaor we can already sec in the
early and various stages of his making
(Mailer, again, with The Armies of the
Night, plus Miami and the Siege of Chi-
Wolle amd The Electric
Kool Aid Acid Test: Norman Podloreiz
Making И: Dan Wakeficld's Between the
Lines; Jan Cremers I Jan Cremer: Erje
Ayden’s The Legend of Exje Ayden:
Iding Dawson's An Emotional Mem-
oir of Franz Kline: Irving Rosenthal’s
Sheeper: Ned. Rorem's Paris Diary; Tay-
lor Meads Anonymous Diary oj a New
York Youth; Frederick Exleys A Fan's
Notes; my own Views of a Nearsighted
Cannoneer). should speak intimately to
cages Tom
а 5
sweat of his own inner
he (or she) will not have
ied the right to speak openly about
ything or to be trusted; he should
try to tell the blunt wud: a lever,
and this includes the risk of discussin
other individuals as well —no one should
be immune from the elfort to clea
house, undo bullshit, lay the entire busi-
ness of being an American right now оп
the public table without shame. So that
the new communicitor's — statement—
about himself, his friends. his women (or
if he's gay), people in public life,
cities, the war, his group therap:
ing secretly to be a star, wanting to
sleep with Mamie Van Doren (or Su:
Sontag), still hoping to love and be
loved, putting his being directly before
the reader, as if the page were a tele-
phone and asking for an answer—be
evidence of the reality in which we are
all implicated, without exception, and be
in itself а legitimization of this reality as
a first step to changing it
asi
1
men
the
Be
Mow can we suffer from too much
wuh? Who isn't heartened то see it
when an author respects us enough 10
tell us where he id by the
lly lives
very nature of his w us to
reciprocate? But there is а more sig-
nificant reason lor total leveling than
moral staigluforwardnes in а time
mous lor its credibility gaps. and. that
the power that can return to literature
а daring public aa that has to be
respected by even those pragmatists who
habitually reduce words to playthings. IF
I write about my own being in rclation-
ship to other, real, named, Social Secu
ty-numbered beings amd present it to
der, it is inevitable that you
100. will be pulled into the scene (at
leas а few hundred of you will know
cither me or one of my real-lile cast of
characters) and must up an in
volved position about what you're bei
told and experiencing, You are interact
with me and my interactions. with
others so closely—assuming Т have the
ability as well as the stomach for truth—
you, the r
that you have become part of the expe
ence, whether or not you seek it. You are
there. included in the network of
my life, as 1 am induded in yours, and
what vou have seen and heard and iden-
tified with will
not be put aside like a “story.” because it
is an extension of the same reality that
unites us both; I will have established a
sense of commur bout the
destiny of both our lives in this uncer-
tain time that becomes as real as if we
were communi 1 the flesh—and as
existentially suspenseful. Reading then
becomes a crucial event, because some-
thing is really happening i
and not in liter
I have written, our very lives will touch,
the reader is just as much а pa
as the writer, your isolation or
ference has been penetrated by reading,
just as mine has by writing, and the
alienation of our mutual situation has
been broken though by my need to
ne what I have and
re my consciousness.
In other words, I want Americ
10 again become
life of the individual in th
not just his novelty-secking mind; 1 want
it 10 be necessary and important once
in—even more important, since 1 see
purpose as having changed—as 1
knew it when it shaped me; t
this selfishly, because Т have devoted my
dreams to this business of words and m
own selfrespect as mere human. refuses
10 accept that what I once took vows for
can be written off as a second-rate art,
which “made-up” elevant writing
often seems like now, in the aftermath ol
the elecionicvisual explosion. But ap
from my own investment in lite
ч. rationalize and say that the
source of my ideas doesn't spring from
my own unappeasable imagination as a
would-be American novelist who was
once promised the world and shall never
now
) my communic
ion
existence
ture alone; due to what
make you expe
sh
n prose
potent force in the
country and
its
nd 1 wı
ature—
and Ic
forget that in deny that once
a gifted writer tells it to his equals
exactly like it is, we are moving into a
new dimension, where writing is used to
speak divectly to being? And where the
talents of reporter and. pamphletcer аге
ing those of novelist to awak-
en iduals to the fact that we all
share а common. bag as probably never
belore.
It seems plain to me that the man we
used to call the American creative writer
now beginning to express living histo-
ry through himself so urgently that he is
becoming its most genuine embodiment,
he imagination that once led h
build 10 the stars has been
forced into coping with his own imper-
ilad life on the sume quaking ground
that holds us all. Out of necessity, he is
being pushed toward a new art of per
sonal survival and, as a result, he must
move ever further into the centers. of
action to fight for his fate: if he left the
decisions of our time to the
while he concentrated his
in the old days, һе would be
stairway
crucial
others
on
y a pur of each day's events to
pretend they don't shake him and domi-
nate his existence. His only choice is to
insert himself into these events through
his writing upon
эмен of a helpless observer, to
wy to їое
itself with his art, so that he can save
himvell as а man. His driving песа for
direct participation in our national life
now makes the new communicator want
to change America in a pact with his
readers, and to begin by changing his
own life in the commitment of la
on th
or myself, time 1
vision I saw or read into the Amer
novel that immediately made me а char
acer in it, the hero who wants to be a
novelist, could be fulfilled only if the
novel was real and was aded out, Per-
haps—in the light of this late recogni-
tion of my own need 10 personify what
ny others existed. solely in the
to become an acor
them
ce the n
ine,
s shown
the
tha
to
magination—1 was scheduled all alon
hot to write novels, as E always thought,
but io try to pur their ess
action. If this is so, I embrace ii
as the more exciting and now ne
of the alternatives; for just as І once
believed that art was the highest condi
tion to which a person could П
now believe that if this is true, it is the
duty of those who conceive such an ideal
to use it on society itself and take their
literary lives in their hands, if need be,
in the dangerous gamble to make the
word deed. That's where the new prose
action is 30 years after I got hooked—for
‚ chums, for deadly r
21
> A LIFE IN THE DAY OF (continued from page 151)
PLAYBO
212
right. "Thanks" she said. There was
just the right amount of quiver in her
voice and he gave her the Sincere look
and said, "The means of production
belong to the state,” which wasn't a bad
line at all.
She sucked on the joi
held her breath for a long moment, Alter
Jet it out, she nodded toward. the
stereo and said, “The All for One are
ly be
Womb to Tomb," he couldn't help
correcting “On Walkin’. WSAN played
il th i
over the country
She shook her head
unds like but
's a dr
. coughed, then
nd looked serious.
—the lead cimba
* and just for a
second the world slipped. sideways, be-
cuse he suddenly wasn't sure.
Then he was off again, flashing her
The Smile and squeezing her hand, sty
ing, “Don't go home eaily—in fact, do
go home," and he knew she wouldn't.
ists had lined up against the Progressive
Leftists, and somebody shouted over to
him. do you think. Је
were respectfully silent and that was more
like i
"You work with the pi
matically, “youre just playing i
the hands of the estublishment.”
pproval and the confronuti
ed à differ
of
doz t ways, al
mber came up on the sereo and the
heavy beat rolled over the room like a
ide.
p." a voice said.
Old, middle-30s, baldi
fessor cras
Maybe а}
g the party to score on a
chick. “I's the all-purpose answer,” Jell
said easily.
"pm Jenk
picture of yd
А nod. W.
the Times.
t him out, see what he
Jenki: d him thoughtfully fo
ared his th
After clas, 1 run the Free. Tutorial
Studies. We need tutors for the ghetto
freshmen—I s 1.5. rally
Jast week and thought you might like to
help ou
There was no end to the freaky
people wanted you to do. “Sorry.
that's not my bag," he said coldly
started to move away. The bionde w
back in а corner with the Nehi
and it was time to break it up.
Jenkins smiled faintly down
drink. "Not
guarantee yor
paper
Why, the condescending old fart; you'd
think he had never тип into that onc
before! Jett whirled.
“Heavy, old man! Look, you sit in,
you сапу the signs, you get clubbed!
Think anybody's going to cry for you?
Get bid, will you! 1 ny thing, you
do yours!” Holier than thou, bullshit.
The mumble of the party again, some:
mudi
pres covera
I get your pictur
do
“Now that June is rolling around, let's promise to
keep in touch after graduation.
body being sick in the john, the click of
the lock on the bedroom door, a chick
n the Кисеп and somebody
hysterically in the living room,
and wine and
Лал inv
100 many people, Chris
ed half that number—a few more cigarette
burns on the window sill and spreading
puddles on the faded rug slowly seeping
into the wool. the sweet smell of pot and
he was getting а contact high
Somebody was clutcl
doing the heavy-brcathing
. see you alone, Jell.
Old women, dogs
loved him. Yesterday's radical, the pro-
fessional student. working for a Ph.D. in
sociology and she'd get it about the time
of the Second Coming. Drunk out of her
mind and probably feeling very sorry tor
herself because, at 30, she was the last of
the vestal vi love me, love my g
complex, and who wanted that kind o
package dea
“Damsel in distress in the kitchen and.
all that rot,” he said, trying to edge past.
“Be right back.”
She hung ото him a
nd vied to get the words out without
slurring them, and when they finally
ame, they were like. pearls strung о
тю
She closed her eyes and for a
panicky moment he was alraid she was
$ 10 vomit down his toga. Then she
ishing a damp strand of hair out of
eyes and tying hard ıo focus on
him. "Оона know . . . how you do i
Jal." she said, closing her eyes
»ldamm. generations
арат now . . сава figure out the
auitudes from one day то nex'—nest
< dunge, everything changes so da
ж то be a real phony i0 keep up
nd licked! her lips
her
two
with them.
He could feel the 1и
his neck. а
t at the back of
«| 90 pounds over
wouldr
not in a million y
ting him down.
id lightly. And
then she was holding onto him again
ıd it wasn't for support and he could
feel his skin crawl--hot and sweaty and
the monthly smell. Me forced himself to
hold her gently lor а moment and nuzzle
her neck, and when she was blinking
sudden hope, he murmured, 71 would like
I really would, but it
у own mother
king son of a bitch
to help you, At
would be like
"You're а s
she
s back in the Ii
id Ann was fadin:
ng room
into the back
‚апа
the room.
с could [cel
Kl, like roses on old wallpap
the in
were smotherii
and
13 him
noises heat
id
himself start to drown in his own party.
Out of
the со of his
пег һе
ich
eve,
glimpse of the huge old co
by the window. Mr. Gu
r Мап, toy
with a drink.
ince melted
Sue, sitting next to him,
looking 35 instead of 95. starting to
shrivel right before cyes; Jenkins
beside her, his face a remote mask; and
Aun at the far end, eyes closed, probably
passed out. АП of them with that odd,
frightening, glazed look about them, like
wax dummies in a muscu
He shivered, then was caught up in
the party once more. He was the guy
who made it tick, who made it go. the
one who was with it. He was the mirror
for people who wanted to check how the
mustache lay, how the toga fit, whether
the smile was right and the attitude was
"in." He was the hero, the star, the win-
ner, to be chaired through the market
He could feel his ego expanding and
filling the room like Styrofoam. and he
knew he was getting very stoned, but it
felt good. good. good—the music was as
sharp as diamonds and the food was
пома and everybody . . . everybody
ed him,
lov
It was two in the morning when,
suddenly. above the roar of the party,
he heard the door buzzer and instinc-
tively knew it wasn't the police and, just
as instinctively, that whoever it was
shouldn't bc let in. Then there was
laughter and shouting in the hallway
and а pounding on the door and the
party him frozc—it was like
watching a film where they end up on a
single frame and hold it. Dancing, laugh-
ig. shouting and then sudden silence
and the living room was filled with plaster
statues,
Somebody stepped to the door and he
wanted to shout Don't let them in! and
then the door was open and the laugh-
ing crowd outside tumbled in like a
bushel of leaves driven by the wind.
They pulled at his party like so many
human magnets and the movement in
the room started to quicken and, within
seconds, the party wits rearing aga
Jeff didn't any of them.
He was standing in a corner all
ound
never touching hi
around а rock, and then somebody w
standing in front of him.
]чйеу He hated the full name and he
hated the tone of condescensi
The stranger was dressed i
had à drooping bi
old-time cowboy vill
within Jeli whispered That's sharp, and
he way wearing а FREE LEONARD button
1 who the hell was Leonard, anyway?
Name's Lee." the si
nd
. and something
had really worked at it to pitch it that
low, and then he was fingering Jell's toga
ıd the people around them were sud-
dently silent and tense and the stranger
said, “Too bad it spots so easily." and
somebody laughed and Jeff couldn't
think of anything to say, and th
chick he didn't know came up and said,
“I saw your picture in the Times—you
looked cute," and a lot more people
laughed and then they all drifted away
and Jeff caught himself staring down at
the wine paper cup and noting
that the cube he had dropped in to cool
it had almost melted.
He fled into the kitchen and bumped
to the blonde and she dropped a plate
of sandwiches on the floor and he almost
skidded on them, then blurted, “You're
going to stay over, aren't you?” and she
looked at him as if she wasn't quite sure
who he was and said, "Did you ask?
and ducked under his arm into the living
room,
He turned back to the party, trying to
quiet his panic, and ran into the kid
who had been at the Poly Sci sit-in. The
goddamned toga, he was thinking fu-
riously, goddamned asshole toga. He tried
to start a conversation, but the kid snicl
ered and said, "Later. man," and wan
dered over to the group that had gathered
around the cowboy in black.
“You can't trust. the dogs,” the cowboy
was saying, “they'll gul the proles every
time, On the other hand, the police ате
predictable,” There was а chorus of agree
ment; the crowd grew. Jeff didn't have
the faintest idea what they were talking
about.
He reeled over to the open window
and tried to suck some fresh air and
stop the room from spinning. There was
singing and shouting in the street below
and he leaned out to see what was hap
pening. Some stoned students were lurch-
ing down the street, singing a pop song
—but he couldn't place the tune, he
couldn't place the tune, he couldn't re
member ever having heard it. Farther
down the street, beneath a street Limp, a
small army of workmen was painting
over storefronts and changing signs. He
squinted his eyes, but he couldn't find
the familiar Me and Thee colteeshop;
the sign that swung out over the side-
walk was gone
nd in its place was
something called THe RooKERY. He didn't
know the street anymore, he realized
suddenly; all the “їп” spots, his spots, were
gonc. and he had never heard the songs.
and he couldn't keep his groups straight,
and he didn't know the people, and . . .
who was Leonard, anyway?
Every two years, Ann had said. And
faster all the time. But you never noticed
the buds until the day they blossomed
And then he was sinking down imo
the sofa by the window, still clutching
his paper cup, to sit next to Mr. Guitar
Man and § nd Jenkins and Ann. He
could sense the glaze creeping over his
face and felt something very light and
feathery on his neck and shoulders,
Tt was, he imagined, the dust settling
gently down.
Shirt, shorts, hat, tie . . . you'll be labeled
coolest kitten and/or cat on the patio.
Colorful red & black labels. Choose up
singles or matchmates in shirts and shorts.
All easy-care Kodel® and cotton.
€ Budweiser — TM of Anheuser-Busch, Inc.
Ladies’ shorts — sizes 8 to 18— $8.00
Men's shorts — sizes 28 to 36 — $8.00
Ladies’ shirts — sizes 30 to 44 — $7.00
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I Station
213
Mix well. Shape into
thick, keeping hands wet to sh;
id stir well, Sauté, stirring constantly, 3 chicken breasts (6 halves). boneless easily. Set aside in refrigerator unt
minutes. Add chicken broth, pork. chick- and skinless CRIA Gu dicke дашат ROO
еп. chorizo, veal, chicken livers. scallops. 115 Ibs. lobster tails, thawed if frozen wise into Lin. chunks. Cut green peppe
aps. Bring 2 large green peppers lengthwise поз, Remove and dis
1 medium-size zucchini nes.
Paella y Sangria (continued [rom page 140)
peppers, mushrooms and sh
liquid to a boil. If chicken broth is ш mediu 1 stem ends, seeds
asoned, add 1 to 2 teaspoons salt. Olive oil Peel zucchini and cut
oc
па memi
half lengthwise,
PLAYBOY
s
Reduce heat; simmer 10 minutes. Add 3 large cloves garlic, minced extremely hen cut crosswise into Lin. chunk:
id simmer 15 to 25 minutes long, fin Heat 1 cup oil in paella pan. Sauté
stirring gently but as little as possible. o 802. can plum tomatoes, drained, meatballs until brown: remove from
keep ingredients from sticking to pan chopped finc pin, Sauté chicken until light, suc.
bottom. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. 2 cups longgrain rice brown: remove from pan. Sauté
1 teaspoon saffron powder peppers and zucchini, using more oil if
MEATBALL PAELLA
teaspoon. paprika
necessary, until just barely tender; re
14 1b. (cooked weight) boiled, shelled ® tablespoor moxe from pan. Wash and dry pan. Add
shrimps 5 cups chicken broth, cammed or fresh pe (up oil, Heat for à mine or two
54 Ib. lean chopped beef бог. can pitted black olives, drained ger low flame. Add remaining onion,
2 slices stale white bread А Soak bread im cold water а few min ши. tomatoes, rice, sallron and paprik
1 Lage Spanish onion, very finely wes, then press gently to remove excess isa stir well. Sauté, stirri ig constant!
: > 5 j "-— Б vm ng
поса денет, рит uh men chopper, ins 5 minutes. Add lemon juice, chick
E ine blade, the shrimps, previous! Г
| egg Mr ES ps previously broth, meatballs. chicken, lobster, green
Salt. pepper chopped beet, bread and 1⁄4 cup minced
minced’ peppers. zucchini and olives. 17 «ске
f teaspoon oregano onion. Add egg, 1 teaspoon salt, М н P
broth is unseasoned, add | to 9 te
no and cumin.
14 teaspoon ground cumin teaspoon pepper, or
spoons salt. Bring liquid to a boil. Re-
duce hear and simmer 20 to 30 minute
stirring gently from time to time. Sprin-
kle with salt and pepper.
ALLSEAFOOD РАКЫ.
2 live northern lobsters, 11/4 Ibs. cach
1 Ib. raw shrimps
2 doze
11b. 1
neck clam:
1 Ib. squid.
cup olive oi
1 green pepper,
1 sweet red pepper, large dice
3 lange cloves garlic. minced extremely
fine
1 large Spanish onion, m
lv fine
Wes
14 cup finely minced fresh parsley
? tablespoons finely minced culantro
3 large tomatoes, peeled, minced fine
2 cups long grain rice
1 large bay leaf
cups cam broth, f
Salt, pepper
Cur live lobsters i
ced extreme-
spoon salfron powder
‘esh or bottled
half (or have sea-
do this for you, if lobst
v). Ren
each Jobster cross.
re to be used at oi
hea
wise
ove sic і
rack claws;
nto 3 chunks, Using scissors,
shrimp shells through back
side, leaving shells on shrimps
intact. Scrub dams well, Cut halibut into
gin. chunks, discarding bone. Have
squid cleaned by fish dea Boil about
Ya hour or until tender, id cut
crosswise into 14-in. slices. Peel asparagus
with vegetable peeler. Discard hard. ends;
cur crosswise into Lin. pieces. Boil until
just tender, then drain. Heat oil
24 “Well, I guess that answers my next question." paella pan over low flame. Sauté peppers
IF YOULIKE
ANICE BLAND.
DELICATE
STAYAWAY
FROM
MYERS'S
RUM.
[WORLD FAMOUS
MPORTED ·
Myers's doesn’t make a nice,
bland, delicate little anything.
What it does make is a hearty, full-
flavored rum drink. That's be-
cause Myers's is dark Jamaican
rum. Апа people wha know rum will
tell you dark Jamaican rum is the
rummiest rum of all. So, naturally,
the Myers's Daiquiri isthe rum-
miest Daiquiri of all,
Use Myers's Rum every time the
drink calls for rum. You'll love it.
Providing you're ready for a good,
full-flavored rum.
For trce recip booklet, write General Wine & Spirits Co.
Dept. 419, 375 Park Avenue, New York, New York 10022
Myers's— the true Jamaican Rum. 84 Proof.
until just barely tender. Add garlic,
liron. parsley. culintro, to
tocs, rice and bay leaf, Sauté 5 minutes,
stirring frequently. Add clam broth and
10 а boil Reduce flame so that
merely simmers. If dam broth is
uiscasoned, add 1 teaspoon salt. PI.
in pan the lobster pieces, shrimps. clams,
halibut, squid and as
slowly. & pan frequently, checking
bottom to avoid scorching. Cook
i ad has absorbed all
salt and pepper. just
belore serving.
SANGRIA
1 fifth light dy 1 wine
peach, peeled and sliced
6 slices lemon
1% ozs. cognac
1 oz. triple sec
1 or. татахаа
1 tablespoon or more sugar to taste
6 ozs. iced club soda
Cut е
© peel of orange in a s
t. White part should be cut
with ower ресі, so that orange
exposed. Leave peel attached to orange
bottom, so that fruit may be suspended
in pitcher. Pour wine into glass pitcher.
ас, triple sec,
то dissolve
ice cubes to pitcher. Stir.
WINTE SANGRIA
| fifth dry white wine
| whole orange
2 slices lemon
slices lime
oz. cognac
blespooi
piece stick
¢ strawberries, stems removed,
ha
6 ozs. iced club soda
Cur. entire peel ol о
procedure in above recipe.
imo glass pitcher. Add lemon
gnac, su; i
Stir to
ed
Pour wine
peel over rim. Let mixtur
room temperature at least 1 hour. Add
and 1 tray of ice cubes to pitcher.
With paella and sangria gracing his
groaning board. the host is able to of
a feast that echoes the elegant simplicity
of its Iberian birthplace. Al that re
mains is to reap а harvest of bravos.
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PLAYBOY
216
DR. FELDMAN
as the Feldman table) and the doctor was
surprised to get a grunt instead of a how-
do-youdo when he introduced himself,
The man's name was Moritzer. He was
in his late 40s, sallow, thin and unhappy-
looking. A bad choice for the
table, the others agreed, sitting on the
porch after lunch.
Dr. Feldman submitted а defense.
Don't judge so quick.” he s Mo-
not be feeling so well.
y have business troubles.
Give Moritzer a chance.
He gave Moritzer a chance at the rec
hall. “Well, what's your pleasure" he
asked. rummy I'm
red of. Like to
shoot some pinodiez You play ping-
pong? How about pool?
“No, thanks,” )
came here to rest,
“Yeah, so what?
“Nothing, nothing,”
the doctor said.
"E don't think I heard your first name.
Mine
is Horace. D always hated that
They used to call me Horse. Th
so bad when I was a litle Y
but then I put on а few pounds.
chuckled and patted his solid midsection.
“What's yours?”
“My name is Moritzer
Later that evening, Dr. Feldman was
playing checkers, and winning. Then he
looked up and saw Moritzer in a rocker,
regarding him with eyes thar could cur-
dle sour aream. The Feldman hand shook
and he lost the game.
He was going into his room (the Feld-
man suite) when he saw Moritzer com-
g down the hall. slapping his thigh
with a rolled-up evening newsp:
“Good ni Mr. Morit
Moritzer didn't. answer.
the man said.
per.
т.” he said,
Didn't even
a had a little trouble get-
ting to slecp that night and he blamed
unt nothing
but
troubled. Could it be
Ily didn't like him?
mote as it seemed,
dinner the next day. Moritz-
ely surly; he was selec-
tually spoke a dew
to him, of course
Dr. Feldman wa
Moritzer ac
"That. possibility,
persisted а
Cr was not
tively surly.
words to the married couples. He ас
tually answered Mrs. Shems questions
about his marital status (he was married,
but his wife didn’t like the country).
But to Dr. Feldman: not a word.
А lesser man might have been comfort-
ed by indignation or contented with
indifference. Not Dr. Feldman. To ihe
Feldman psyche, Moritzcr's attitude wa
a challenge.
After dinner, the doctor said:
for a walk, Moritzer."
“I hate walks,” Moritzer said.
“Good for digestion. Doctor's orders.”
To his surprise, Moritzer grunted and
‘Come
(continued from page 127)
agreed. They walked down the main
road amd into the narrow. wooded road
that circled Ponehawee like a laso. By
mutual assent, they were silent. Here and
there, the path narrowed and grew rock
Now and then, one or the other
lose his [oot
‘Careful, careful,"
when Moriver stumbled against him.
"Careful yourself,” Moriuer said un-
pleasantly. A few steps later, he tripped
and almost knocked the doctor
"The Feldman temper was held. but then
it happened a third and a fourth time.
“Hey, careless.” he said, with a forced
smile. “Watch where you're sho
When they got back to the Manor, the
doctor was taking pine needles out of his
would
Dr. Feldman said
over,
ed, he invited Moritzer to mixed doubles
on the badminton court. The team of
Moriuer-Elkins os. Feldman-Shear, A top
attraction. Actually, Moritzer turned out
to be а gloomy but quickanoving op
ponent, and Mis. Elkins wasn't bad,
either. Feldman-Shear lost badly. The
the ladies sugges ion: the b
against the girls. That would have been
all right, but twice, lice Moritzer struck
the doctor on the back of the head with
his racket. Once was an accident, Dr.
1 told himself, But twic
t alternoon, Dr. Feldman м
his first dip in the Pond
setting an example for the timid. An
hour Later, one of the married couples,
Mis. Elkins. Mis. Shear and even Moritz
er turned up in swimsuits, It developed
that Moriver was a nifty swimmer. Un-
like the doctor, who required water
wings, he wore swim fins and a face mask
and spent a lot of ti the water.
The result was a lot of g from the
wom rks.
t for
wee pool,
ne under
Then
crawl, а di
was doing the Feldm
movement, slow but ellective, wh
felt a hand close about his ankle. It had
ty be а hand, he reasoned; there wasn't
aquatic lile in the Ponchawee swim
pool. And the hand seemed i
Dr. Feldman beneath
1
tent upon pulli
the surface. At fiet. he reacted. good
naturedly, calling ow merrily, “Hey,
cut it our. down theret; but when his
er, he
“Blub, glub!” Dr.
eldman cried and kicked out with his
other foot to str shoulder bone or
mething equally hard—a face mask.
Vhe hand let go and the docto
panting. paddled to the pool's edge.
That night, the Feldman sleep was
disturbed by а dream of drowning. It
was no wonder, then, that he hesitated at
Moriver’s very first overture of friend-
ship at breakfast.
nose filled up with chlorinated w
w
л ж» иис.
ybe
he said.
n said, thoughts
Come lor a ro!
of water.
On the lik
The lake," Dr.
then decided he wa
Look. let's
aid and
"Fine
Feldman
being silly
nvite the wome
“Pooey,” Moritzer said. “I'm a married
тап. Enough is enough. You want to go
for a row, OK. 1 not, OK.
"OK." Dr. Feldman said.
"They went down to the boathouse and
took out the soundest-looking том
It was a beautiful The Take was
glassy, except Гог a ripple here and there
that indicated the presence of a fi
warming itself near the surface. Whe
Dr. Feldman learned that tackle was also
ailable, he was suddenly enthused.
Moritzer didn't fish liked to row.
were fish-
rowing.
boat skimmed the water smoothly
under Moriters саку oar stroke. The
doctor was willing to fish in the middle
ol the lake. but Moritver wanted to round
the bend and head for a more distant
shore. After a while, they couldn't sce the
pink rool of Ponchawce Manor anymore.
For half an hour, Moriver napped in
the rowboat and Dr. Feldman fished. But
nothing nibbled on the
nd Moritzer started gett те
t up on the other side of the craft and
regarded the doctor with folded arms
and baleful eyes. Then he began a slow
rocking from side to side.
“Shush.” Dr. Feldman said.
scare the fish."
"What fish?" Moritzer said.
Soon the rocking became more violent
Могиле,” the doctor said, "what are
Moritzer didn't answer. He
nd rocked. "Moritzer, arc
у vy? You keep this up, you'll turn
the boat over.”
“You'll
to do.
do you want us
“sth
mi
maner, Feldman?” Mo-
astily. “You didn't bring your
er wings?
joke is a joke," the docior said
frostily. “Lers go back already
Unbelievably. Moriver stood up. He
planted his feet on both sides ol the
хеме and rocked so hard. that the boat
began shipping water.
Dr. Feldman looked incredulously at
the water stains on his whiteduck trou-
sers and cried ош: “Moriver, 1 believe
you're а cnuy ma
“Yeah, so learn how to swim, Feld-
Moriver sud, and the doctor
lize that maybe Moritzer
жет. dida't just dislike him,
ver really hated h
d him dead.
“Moritzer!” the doctor. screamed, as
he felt himself losing hi nce. He
grabbed the side of the boat for support
nd found himself clutching one of the
began to тє;
sullen Mor
ybe Moi
Moritzer w:
, maybe
ae
ba
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PLAYBOY
218
oars He slipped it out of the lock and
d to use it as а balancing pole. This
zer laugh. He sounded
one of those fiends in the old movies,
and Dr. Feldman was terrified. He didn't
have to think about hitting Moriver
with the oar, he just did it, He caught
Moritzer broadside on his left сат, and
Moritzcr went sleepy-looking and top-
the side and into the water
pled over
with nighty splash. The boat was cap-
sized a ater and, for а grim five
seconds, Dr. Feldman thought he was
underneath it. But, no—there was day
light and, gasp g. making all
kinds of heaving noises, he managed to
ding to the bottom. He didn't worry
Moritzer; he was too
ad yelling. It wouldn't
because Moriuer
to
Ponchawee Manor was less enjoyable.
There were policemen and а local re-
porter
the dini
l plenty of clucking tongues in
and the doctor was
al version of the
th culated J the
wd found its way onto the police
Jt was an accident, of course
o
story
resort
bloter.
“What I'm trying to tell you, Miss Jackson
me, youre not just another cog in a great big machine.
thought w
fully, maybe that’s all it was), and M.
ters drowning was explained by the
blow on the head he sustained when the
boat capsized. Dr. Feldman thought it
was permissible not to mention the busi-
ness with the oar, just as he didn't men-
tion Moriuers deliberate rocking. Fair
was fair, But he wasn't sorry 10 climb
behind the wheel of his Mercedes and
put Ponchawee Manor behind him. In
fact, he was actually happy to return to
the office Monday morning and see the
unlovely but not unwelcome face of
Hilda, his nurse.
“Well, doctor?
have a good
“Not bad, not bad." Dr. Feldm:
"Only, there was a little accident
You weren't hur?" Hilda asked with
quick concern,
No. no” Dr.
some poor man got drowned. Otherwise
I had a wonderful time. > he
rubbing his sur nds together in
anticipation of saving yet another life,
"who's our first patient this week?”
“Is а Mrs. Moriver,
she
d. "Did you
n said.
n said. "But
ow,
is that to
GRAND HOTELS
(continued from page 122
ad spied from the corridor.
y. I felt these were the men
to follow. They scemed content to stand.
around for a time, chatting, and so was
I. We were presently joined by an Amer-
icın professor who was, I had learned
previously, in Turkey to arrange a pro-
grim for а computer. It appeared that
the American Government had given the
Turkish government a computer, 1
which the latter was unable to find а use.
To help the Tu ir problem,
the Americans had now thrown in the
professor. whose task was to find a job
worthy of the computer's prowess. “L am
thi he had told п ting it
to work analyzing th
from various provinces. I
about the local authorities. but I
pretty sure the computer will get quite a
shock" On the occasion of the earth:
quake, I was delighted to sce him. “Is it
fc for me to return and have my bath
He consulted his watch and
ll to wait another four min-
utes. We should either have another quake
most i psisted, or we
shouldn't. I waited patiently, while
continued to observe the minute h
Eventually, he looked up. “Bathtime,
said reassuringly, and I and the chefs
returned to our tasks.
While still in this part of the world, а
I, perhaps, about the Hilton Hotel
Athens. Although not one for my list,
it stands head and shoulders above all
the other Hilton Hotels at which I have
ed, including the London Hilton
which stands head and shoulders above
ace. Ik would be foolish
ton or to deny that
Athens, he has im-
posed new standards of comfort and
d ess not only on the natives but
also on some of his guests. He reassures
the American traveler —alihough not. odil-
ly cnough, the British. Bur, then, docs
anything reassure us? For myself, it is thc
Hilton d m. А slow mover,
m frequently a
At the inaugu:
London Hilton, 1 was ret
duce the cabaret, which was perlormed
the courses and. was intended to
emphasize the international flavor ol the
feast. Japanese jugglers followed the bird's-
nest soup h singer, the poulet.
‘The waiter assigned t0 our table glanced
at the affluent. and dis
who included M
T
icked by the doors.
I party to launch the
ed ао intro-
becweci
ona
Ladies, will you please put. your "
in the center of the table, where we can
Ш keep our eyes on them."
American waiters are experts оп сш-
ting any proceedings down to size. How
often they demolish the elegant, sophisti
cated atmosphere so carefully built up
by host and. proprietor with that. honest
shout of “Who gets the consommé?” But
their English cousins are seldom far be-
hind, The best waiters, like the best
lovers, are Latins. What the Englishman
and the American lack. in technique in
both bedroom and banquet hall, they
attempt unsuccessfully to cover up with
Alas, there is more to laying
table or a lady than high spirits. Outside
of London, the traveler who stays in а
British-owned and -operated hotel must
not expect 10 be pampered. He will And
that meals are served when it suits the
Hotel Catering Act to do so. Bedrooms
are kept at a temperature that will en
the 10 spend money on
gas or electric fires 10 мор shivering.
Bathrooms are scarce, bleak and remote.
What I find most depressing about Brit
bonhomie.
cou
ish hotels is the display of literature in
their public rooms. A British hotelier
would rather shoot himself than buy a
paper or a book for his guests to read.
Such magazines as one finds in the smok
E The Crown, The Feathers
or The George must not only be at least
а year old and bereft of cover but must
also have been issued free, and deal
i such subjects as canoeing or topiary
gardening.
The more
Brita
longer the con
discipline. You are
pected to upset
Having done so
morning, I phoned for assistance. 1 was
prepared for the stall to remove the
sheets, but not the mattress. There was
nothing to do but get up—never a wise
thing to do in Manchester ший one is
tually required at the theater. I was
stepping imo the bath when the phone
rang. Big Brother had been info
We understand," a voice told me,
you have soiled your bed. There wi
an additional charge on your bill
‹
where, after
ii эт ol
modern the hotel in
the bedroom, the
The emphasis is on
ot, for instance, es-
out morning collec.
Manchester. опе
How
ferent from the hotel in New Orleans
мау of a fortnight, there
wasn't а bill ас all "We Tike actors,”
they told me, and diarged only for tele-
phone calls Were it not that any hotel
quite so recklessly conducted must have
long since gone out of business, I would
proudly in my list. On the
whole, the British find little pleasure in
staying in their own hotels, possibly be-
cause there is very little pleasure in doing
so, with the exception of my fourth
great hotel-—Claridae's in London. No
praise can be too high for this superb
annex to Buckingham Palace. It is the
refuge of monarchs and. presidents, pro-
tecting them while they reign and carin;
for them long after they have abdicated
or been deposed. Uneasy lies the head
that wears а crown, except on a Clar-
idge’s pillow slip. The management also
entertains film producers, landed gentry,
clude it
ambassadors, debu
cated by
actors intoxi-
1 sobe:
isely comfort-
ntes,
the
able. superbly intima y
tained, more of a club than a hotel and
more of a home than cither. Most sur-
prising of all, there are few foreigners on
s май.
Oddly
there was а Brit
my filth hotel,
а. Vien is
enough, "
waiter on the май of
the Imperial in Vie
city of make-believe. Where else would
you find the horn of a unicorn on dis-
play next to а golden rose? It is a city
where horses prance under the chande-
liers in the riding school and where the
Russians, g а bint [rom their hosts
stabled their own cavalry in the ball-
room of the Imperial and roasted an os
on its marble ase. Bur when they
left, their hosts. not а whit abashed by
such vandalism, managed to get every
thing back in place, along with the gilt
mirrors and the chandeliers, and re-
opened for business within a year. Very
comfortable it was when P was there
making a film called The Journey with
Yul Brynner and Deborah Kerr. Yul's
part in the picture demanded that he
should be constantly chewing on a wine
glass; but the rest of us sat around happi-
ly in the hotel dining room, munching
сау
wberries, and
red forth to the loca
d by а vast quantity of
rdboard on which cotton wool had
been affixed and which had to be sca
tered over the countryside to represent
the snows of yesteryear.
1 was accompanied by my wife and
children, who in those days were fasci-
nated with the enormous gas balloons
sold in the Prater just beside the Great
Wheel immortalized in The Third Man.
These they would bear back to the Impe-
rial in triumph and then, forgetful as
ever, release, whereupon the balloons
would sail upward and bump along the
ceiling. It seemed that there was alw:
| porter perched on а stephulder in ou
Wg room. "You really mustn't bother
1 would tell my son. "But he
likes it, Poppa, he really does.” would be
the reply. Not, of course, the only reason
for including the Imperial, but c
one of them.
А hotel is onl
my sixth among Uh
supreme folly of dressing
as if they wı
good as its staff. and
ıs persists in the
up its employees
bout to attend а children
costume party. Don’t be diss there
fo on arrival. the door of youn
is opened by a gentleman sweltering
in the guise of a becleater or when your
yed.
219
PLAYBOY
220
nother dressed
are not in
luggage is unloaded by
as if for the paddy fields. You
the Tower of London or Vietnam, you
are not even in Disneyland: you have
merely arrived at the Century. Рига in
Beverly Hills, California. There are vari
ous thee our the costumes. The hotel
is built on part of what used to be the
20th Century lot and some think the film
company threw in the wardrobe along
ies а
with the Land. sec a sinister
tempt to Jull the nation into a false sense
of security, so that when the threatened
Chinese invasion finally takes. place, the
Americam populace will be ciught un
awares. "Don't worry.” they will be tell
arc merely bellhops
ing one another, “they
from the Century Plaza.”
Once you have passed over the thresh-
old, however, you will be very comfort-
able, indeed, in this hotel. It has the
most cflicient elevators, the best room.
service and the most enjoyah'e beds ol
any hotel in America, It is beautifully
quiet and, except for the dressing. up
already noted, quictly beautiful.
Not as beautiful, of course, as my last
great hotel, the Grini Palace in Venice:
but then, the latter has the manifestly
unfair advantage of being on the Grand
Canal. No other hotel in the world са
setting, and one can
to the Grini than
10 note that it deserves ro be exactly where
it ds. It has the incomparable advantage
of not having been built as a hotel. It was
originally intended to be and, indeed,
still is, a palace. The corridors meander,
the bathrooms are never quite where you
pay
expect, the furniture not dreamed up by
т interior decorator but collected piece
by piece over the years, until at last
the room is complete and fit for a guest.
The last time 1 stayed there, 1 sent a
bedside lamp crashing onto the marble
floor. "If 1 can afford to pay for
will," I told the desk clerk. He dismissed
the suggestion with a chuckle
Jong way from Manchester
comfortable and. con-
ter п Hong Kong, the
Tokyo Ніко re Marques in
Acapulco, the Black Buck in Wiesbaden
and, surprisingly, the Europa in Len
grad. But the seven Т have written of are
the top. They have a reputation for
perfection that over the years they have
cherished and stiven successfully 10
maintain. Most of us go through lile
mied by a few anonymous, please
able scents: a Hower sniffed in childhood,
kind of wood fire, hops dry
ing shoed, furniture polish,
ickle, straight bourbon.
nd again, perhaps in a su
in the country
house, or wall er
sing
comes borne over the
fragrance, which delights. Thus, when 1
first cross the lobby of a new hotel, I w
pause for а moment with my nostri
hopefully flared. What is the scent. for
which I am patiently sniffing the air? It
is the smell of confidence that comes
from perfection.
ir a remembered
"Sure 1 knew you were a Communist. Why do you thin
I married you? I'm [rom the FBI.”
NIGHT OF GOLDEN MEMORIES
(continued from page 168)
trousers and an
stick held with
dove-gray gloved
coat, striped morning
ivory-headed walking
an салу grace by his
hand, In red. sputtering neon under-
neath: AUS SWANK FORMALWEAK Ri
HY THE DAY ок HOUR. FREE FITTINGS.
We climbed the narrow, dark wooden
steps to the second floor, Within a red
arrow painted on the wall were the
words SWANK FORMAL—TURN LEFT.
We went past a couple of dentists’
offices and а door marked nait. BONDSMAN
FREEDOM FOR YOU DAY OR SIGHT.
wonder if ed Astaire ever comes
7 Schwartz said.
Jh, come on, Schwartz. This is se
ous" J could feel excitement rising
deep inside me. The prom, the engraved
the summer lormal; it was all
starting то come topether.
Al's Sw wear turned out to
а countei
length mi
rors, Schwartz opened n
tions with a swarthy, bald, hawk-eved,
shirtsleeved man behind the counter.
Around his neck hung а yellow measur-
ing tape. He wore a worn vest with a
half-dozen chalk pencils sticking out of
the pocket.
“Uh... wed like to .
Schwartz began confidently.
“OK, boys. Ya wanna make it big at
the prom, am I right? Ya come to the
right place. Ya goin’ to that hop out at
. uh
errywood, right?"
"Ub . . . yeah." 1 replied.
“And ya wanna summah fa
right?
"HEY, MORTY!” he shouted out
"HERES TWO MOR
BASH AT CHERRYWOOD. ГЇ) SAY
ONE THIRTY-SIX) SHAWI ONE
FAWTY REGULAHL” His practiced eye
had immediately sized us correctly.
“COMIN’ UP!" Morty's voice echoed
from the bowels of the establishment.
Humming to himself, AI began 10 pile
and unpile boxes like we weren't even
there. 1 looked around the room at the
posters of various smartly turned out
men of the world. One in particular,
wearing a summer formal. had a siriking
Romero, his disti
sideburns and. bronze face
nicely with the snowy whit
jacket
There was another pictur
Martin, who was at that time at the peak
of his movie career, usually. porrrayin
Arab princes who disguised themselves as
beggars in order to make the scene at the
marker place. He was always falling
love with a slave girl who turned out to be
princess in disguise, played by somebody
like Paulette Goddard. Tony's roguish
“OR THA
resemblance to €
guished g
contrast
of Топ
“OK, kid, take it off, ТЇЇ have it ready
for you next week.
Schwartz disappeared
Al turned to me. “Here,
He held it out invit-
somewhat flyypecked, showed that he was
into Desert Son;
busily i
tion of bow ties disp
collec.
this coat
“OK ON . I plunged my arms into its volumi-
SHAWT, AL, BUT I'M OUTA nous folds. I felt 1 on my
TIES. HOW "BOUT. THAT. shoulder bla pward
TWO REGULAH THAT JUST CAM ng сус
BACK FROM THAT DAGO WED-
DING?" shouted Morty from the back
тооп
"CUT THE TALK АМ
THE GOODS!
мепїпд up. his
THE
CLEANED YET!" came from the back
тооп
ck. Could be beth. Fits
"Take it in a little here; pull
like а glove.
in the bias here.
He took out his chalk and made a few
BRING
back,
marks on m
through the
BRING IT OUT, AWREADY!"
barked Al. He turned to me.
“This suit just come in Irom anothah
job. Don't worry about how it looks.
We'll dean it up an’ take it in so's itll
ke new. An' doan worry
"bout the stain; we'll get it ош. Musta
been some party. Here, try on these
pams.”
He tosed
a pair of m
fit good. trousers over the counter at m
Morty the hot Tittle cubicle, as T ch
in a gray smock, 1 stroked the broad black-
апе! two suits on ре that lined. the outer seam. I
them over the count
look and stalked L
Шу in the big time now. They
rumpled, of course, and they
smelled strongly of some spilled bever-
brit they were truly magnificent.
* Al a dirty
e shadows,
to Schwartz.
behind the cu
ê De araia tle i
into my ear, An aromatic blast of p:
mi and pickled herr ade my head
ried, башы the green. curta
up the other suit. In the n
dark reddish-brown stain that covered
the entire breast pocket was a neat little
hole right through the jacket, Al turned
the hanger around and stuck his finger
through the hole.
IEY, MOR TY!" he shouted.
“WHAT NOW?”
“HOW 'BOUT THIS HOLE INNA
FAWTY-TWO? CAN YA FIX
“WADDAYA МАЛ
“Ah, Perfek. Jus. right
k in the w He gy
Put a бше
bbed sever-
ule in
in as he
m. Then it
tly measured the i
I over.
new со:
Schwartz emerged from the fitting
room shrouded in what looked like a
parachute with sle
“Perfick! Could shouted
А! exultantly, darting from behind the
«oui He grabbed Sdiwart by the
shoulders, spun him а nd and, wii
a his hand up
single movemen
Schwartz’ crotch, measured the ins
spun him arou in. made two сі
marks on. the sleeves—whidh came almost
10 his finger tips—yanked up the collar,
punched him ту in the kidn
the while murmuring in a hoarse st
whisper:
из
Couldn*
made for
be betuh, P
vou. Just perfick
Kk. Like tailor
made.”
Schwartz smiled weakly throughout the
ordeal.
back
"Now," he said, behind his
counter once
shi "em st
Or pleated, maybe? Very
indica ed several sli
We both peered down at the shirts.
The Monte Carlo number was, indeed,
spilly, its high. stiff, V-cut collar arching
over cascading ribbons of razor-sharp
pleats.
оу, now that’s a shirt!" Sdiwartz
breathed excitedly
“That's what Z want,”
other shirt would do.
I said aloud. No
уе for
knitted
brow. “But how did you
nd fifteen and а half,
for you. right
I nodded. wondering why he bothered
to wear round his neck
ued briskly, “how
thirty-four
ght me off guard, I had
heard the word "stud" before, but never
in a tailor shop.
"OK, I guess not. I'll throw
Maybe even some matchin' cuff links,
100. because you're such high-class cus-
tomers. Now. I suppose уа wanna go
first-class. right?”
Al directed this question at both of us,
his face assuming a look of concerned
Schwartz answered uncert
for both of u:
"p knew
Пу
that the minute you two
221
PLAYBOY
222
walked in. Now, Fm gonna show you
somepin that is exclus ho Ars
Swank Formalwear.”
rol
With an штер
he bent over, slid open
placed. atop. the. count
unfocused ту ey
ous mystery.
drawer and
n object that
s with its sheer kalei-
doscopic brilliance.
о place else in town. can supply you
sley cum-
with a genuwine Hollywood
mabund. It's our wademaurk.”
I stared at the
glowing, se g fabrie
ing myself a total smash on the dance
floor.
lv see-
only a buck extra. And worth five
times the price. Adolphe Menjou always
wears this model. How "bout it, men?”
We both agreed in After all,
you only live once.
ОГ course, included for on
dolla more is our fawmal bow
matchin’ booteneer. 1 would suggest the
гооп."
"Sounds great,” I answered.
ison,
пе
... And then he forced me to perform an unnatural act."
"Isn't that everything?” asked Schwartz
ı some concern.
Is that
sonny
light fantastic widout a p
eut-leathah dancin’ pumps?”
Dancin’ what?” T asked.
“Shoes, shoes,” he expla ably.
“Aw we throw in the socks for nuttin.
How "bout it?”
“Well, u
So that's it, boys, ГИ have
ing all ready the day before the
ally knock ‘em dead.”
other loud argument
nd Al. Their
down the long
Hight of narrow stairs and out into the
street.
Step by step,
the wil
The prom, which was now two weeks oll,
began to occupy our minds most of the
waking day. The semester had just about
ed ихе out; our junior year was
You gota be
How do you expect to
black.
As we left, a
broke out between Morty
voices accompanied u
the ancient tradition,
1 ritual was being acted ou
almost over. The trees and flowers were
п blosom, great white clouds drifted
across deep-blue skies and baseball prac-
Б —but somehow, this
m the rest. The
we һай heard.
па of
prom was something t
about since our e у
golden hung over the word itself.
Every couple of days, the bulletin bo:
school announced that the prom com-
mittee was meeting or requesting some-
thing.
There was only one thing wrong. As
each day ticked inexorably by toward
that magie ni t the Cherrywood
Country Club, I still could nor steel
myself то actually seek out Daphne Bi
and ask her the fatal question. Time
. I spotted her in the halls,
drifting by on gossamer wings, her ra-
diant complexion casing a glow on all
those around her her dazzling smile
lighting up the corners of the world.
But each time, Т broke into a fevered
sweat and chickened out at the last
stant.
The weekend before the prom w
sheer torture. Schwartz, always. ethcient
and methodical, had already made all his
$. We sat on the steps of my back
thing
nly to
Lud Kissel next door struggle v:
adjust the idling speed on |
ravaged carburetor so that the family №
didn't stall at 35 miles ап hour. He had
been drinking, of course, so it was quite
а show,
“How ya doin’ with Daphne Bige-
low?" asked Schwartz si
ing full well the
“Oh, that. T haven't had time to ask
her,” I lied.
“Ya better get on the stick. There's
only a week left."
“Who you got lined up?” I asked,
tossing a pebble at old Lud, who was
now asleep under his running board.
“Clara Mae Mattingly.” Schwartz. re
plied in a steady, expressionless voic
I was surprised. Clara Mae was one of
those shadow, quiet girls who rarely
were mentioned outside of honor rolls
donically, know-
nswei
БЕ
and чиш Tike that She wore gold-
rimmed glasses and still had pigtails.
“Yep.” Schwartz added smugly. gr
fied by my reaction.
“Boy, e cam spell" И was all
1 could to say that was good
bout her, other than the fact that she
was female.
"Sure can," Schwartz agreed. He, too,
had been quite a speller in our grade
and on more than one occa-
Mac
school day
sion, Cla
with a bril
school-w
Indian wrestling now almost extinct but
which at one time was a Waterloo for
many of us among the unleuered. С
Mae had acti
final
had demolished him
play of virtuosity in a
al
ra
Шу once gone to the state
d lost out to a gangly farm
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girl from downstate who apparently had.
nothing clse to do down there but read
ter nights
You gonna send her a corsage?" I
isked
Iready ordered it. At the Cupid
Florist" Schwartz’ self-satisfaction was
overflowing.
“An orchid
Yep. Cost cight bucks.”
“Holy God! Eight bucks!"
truly impressed
Webster's through the long
I was
“Thar includes а gold pin for it."
Our conversation trailed off as Lud
Kissel rolled ont from under the running
hoard. rose heavily to his knees and
crawled off down the driveway on all
fours, heading for the Bluebird Tavern,
which was closed on Sundays. Lud always
got restless in the spring,
А few hours later, after supper, I went
out gloomily to water the lawn, а job
that purportedly went toward earning
my allowance, which had reached an
alltime high that spring of three dollars
week. Fireflies played about the cotton-
woods in the hazy twilight. but I was
troubled. One week to go: less, now
of
because you couldn't count the da
the prom itself. In. the drawer where
I kept my socks and scout knife. buried
deep in the back, were 24 one-dollar
bills. which 1 had saved for the prom
Just as deep in my cowardly soul. I
knew I could never ask Daphne Bigelow
to be my dare.
Refusing to admit it 10 myself, I whis-
dled moodily as I sprayed the irises and
watched a couple of low-lying bats as
they skimmed over the lawn and up into
the poplars. Mis. Kissel, next door,
creaked back and forth on her porch
swing, a copy of True Romance open in
her lap. as she waited for Lud's return
with his usual snootful. My kid brother
сате out onto the porch and, from sheer
habit. 1 quickly shot a stream of water
over him, catching him in mid-air as he
leaped high to avoid the stream. It was a
superbly executed shot. 1 had led him
just right. He caught it full in the chest,
his yellow polo shirt clinging to his ribs
wetly, like a second skin. Bawling at the
top of his Iu
» he disappeared into the
house and slammed the screen door be
hind him. Ordinarily, this small triumph
would have cheered me up for hours
bat tonight, 1 tasted nothing but ashes.
Suddenly, his face reappeared in the
doorway.
“IM GONNA TELL MA
yelled.
Instantly, like a cobra, I struck. Sweep-
ing the stream quickly over the screen
door, I got him again, Another scream of
rage and he was gone. Again, I sank into
my moody sca of reflection. Was I goin
to boot the prom?
Flick had asked Janie Hutchinson, а
tall, funny girl who had been in our
class since kindergarten. And Schwartz
he
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IE: C State کے
ааа а
CL-337
Name.
pied]
was lined up with Clara Мас; all he
had talked about had been that crummy
orchid and how good a dance
Flick had stopped asking about
Daphne ever since the past Wednesday
when 1 had gotten mad because he'd
been needling me. All week, I had been
cleaning up my Ford for the big night.
he was.
me
went all the w
total love, it was my Ford V8, а con-
vertible that 1 had personally rebuilt
at least 35 times. I knew every valve
spring personally, had honed each valve,
burnished every nut and bolt she cam
‘Tuesday, J had Simonized her complete-
ly; Wednesday, I had repeated the job;
and Thursday. 1 had polished the chrome
until my knuckles ached and my back was
stiff. 1 had spent the past two days minut
ly cleaning the interior. using a full can
of saddle soap on the worn leather. Every
thing was set to go, except for опе thing—
no girl,
A feeling of helpless rage settled over
me as 1 continued spraying the lawn. I
flushed out а poor, hapless caterpill
from under a bush. squirting him merci-
lesly full blast until he washed down
the sidewalk and disappeared into the
weeds. I felt а twinge of evil satisfaction
as he rolled over and over helplessly. It
was getting dark. All that was left of the
un was д long purple-or streak
the weuem horizon. 7
alo
the secl mills to the north
began to light up the twilight sky. E had
worked my way down to the edge of our
weedy, pock-marked bed of sod when,
out of the corner of my eve, 1 noticed
something white approaching out of the
gloom. E sprinkled on, not knowing that
another piece was being fied. into the
intricate mosaic of adolescence. 1 kicked
absent-mindedly at a passing toad as 1
soaked down the dandelions.
"What ате you doing?
So deeply was I involved in self-pity
that at first my mind woulda
Startled, E swung my hose around, spray-
we on the sidewalk ten
focus,
ing the white fig
feet away.
Tm sorry!” I blunted out, seeing at
once that [ had washed down a girl
dressed in white tennis clothes.
“Oh, hi, Wanda. I didu't see you
there
She dried herself with a Kleenex.
What are you doing?” she asked
ag
"Um sprinkling the lawn.” The toad
hopped past. going the other way now
І squirted him briefly, out of general
inciples.
you been playing tei Since she
sw
ing a racket, it seemed the right thing to
чу.
“Me and Eileen Akers were playing.
Down at the park," she answered.
Eileen Akers was a sharp-faced, bespec
ticled girl I had, inexplicably, been
aring tennis clothes and was carry-
brielly in love with in the third grade. 1
had come t0 my senses by the time we
got into 4-B, It was a narrow escape. By
then, I had begun to dimly perceive that
there was more to women ihan bi
able to play a good game of run sheep
run.
“Tm sure glad school's almost over,
she went on, when I couldirt think of
ything to sav. "I cam hardly wait, 1
never thought ld be a senior.”
Yeah," I said.
“I'm going to camp this summer. Are
уо
Yeah,” 1 lied. I had а job already
lined up for the summer, working for
surveyor. The next camp 1 would see
would be in the Ozarks, and I'd be
ng an M-I.
Wanda swung her tenn ket at a
е bug that
Il speed. She missed. The bug soared
angrily up and whirred off into the dark-
ness
“Are you going to college when you
graduate next year?” she asked. For some
reason, I didnt like the drift of the
conversation,
“Yeah
pped by barely above
1 don't get drafted
rmy. He's in
Bud Hicke
1 guess so.
"My brother's in the
the artillery.” Her brother
. he doesn’t write much,” she
“But he's gonna ger а pass next
September, before he goes overseas.”
“How come hes in the artillery?
asked.
^P don't know. They jus put him
there. I guess because he's tall.
“What's that gotta do with it? Do they
© to throw the shells, or something?”
don't know. They just did it”
Then it happened. Without thinking.
without even a shadow of a suspicion of
planning. 1 heard. myself asking: "You
going to the prom?"
For à long inwant she said nothing,
just swung her tennis racket at the air
she finally answered,
1
hi
иез so,
nna be great" I said, trying ıo
e the subject
who are you going wit
She said it as if she really didi
way or the other
"Well, I haven't exactly made up my
mind yet" 1 bent down unconcernedly
and pulled a giam milkweed out by the
roots.
ier have Г” she sa
It was then that 1 realized there was
no sense fighting it. Some guys аге born
to dance forever w Daphne Bige-
п floors under
lows on shining 1
skies, Others—well, they
do the best they can. I didu’t know thar
yer, but 1 way beginning to suspect some-
thing.
Wanda?"
"Yes?"
endless starry
vould уоп... well... 1
you see, І was
Here I go, in over the horns: “Wanda,
uh . . how . <. going to the
prom with ше?”
She stopped twitching her ter k-
et. The crickets cheeped. the spring air
was filled with the sound of singing
froglets. А soft brecze carried with it the
promise of a rich summer and the vi-
brant aromas of а nearby refinery.
She began softly, "Of course, Гуе
a lot of invitations, but I. didn't say yes
to any of them yet, I guess it would be
fun to go with you,” she ended lamely.
"Yeah, well, naturally, I've had four or
five girls who wanted to go with me, but
T figured that they were mostly jer
@ as All wee
1 along.
e dic was
is т:
апуу . 1 meant to ask
st. There was no turn-
. Once a
asked to the prom, only а total
bounder would even consider ducking
out of it. There had been one or two
cases im the past, but the perpetrators
had become social j . driven from
the tribe 10 fend for themselves in the
unfriendly woods.
Later that night,
kitchen table, м
the une:
thoughifully on a р
sandwich while my mothe
the sin
hunched over the
hanging over
her rump-sprung Chinese-red
droned on monoto-
. t going to have to
мор squirting Randy.
“Yeah,” I answered, my mind three
light-years away.
"You got his new
shirt all wet.
“Sorry.” 1 said auomaticilly. Tt was а
phrase E used often in those days.
"B shrank. And now he can't wear ii
“Why not?” I asked.
"It comes up around his chest now.”
“Well, why can’t he stretch it?
“You just stop squirting him, th
You hear me?”
DEUS a sill
truculently.
“You heard
squirting.
Later,
sh Gordon T-
"s ull.
T-shirt,
nyway," I said
what 1 said. No more
That ended the conversa
bed, 1 thought briefly of
elow, but was interrupted by
the bed on the othe
Daphne H
a voice side of
the room.
“You rotten crumb, You squirted my
Tshirt!”
“Ah, shaddup."
“You wait, l'in gonna дет voi
1 lıughed raucously. My kid brother
wailed in ı
"SHUT UP, YOU TWO! CUT
OUT THE FIGHTING OR TLL
COME IN THERE AND DO SOME
HEAD KNOCKINC
The old n mca
nt what he said and.
we knew it. I promptly fell asleep. It had
been a long and tumultuous day.
I broke the news to Schwartz the next
morning, alter biology. We were hurry-
ш through the halls berween classes on
our way to our lockers, which were side
by side on the second floor
“Hey, Schwartz, how about double-
dating for the prom?" I asked, I knew he
had по car and 1 needed moral support,
nyway
u! FII help you clean up the
са
"Eve already Simonized her. She's all
set
Ave you gonna send Daphne
chid, or wh
“Well, no . .." 1 said, hoping he'd
forget what he asked.
"What do you mi
corsage.”
“Well, Lam going to send
“I thought you said you wer
"b never s
corsage.
“Are you nuts? You just s
weren't gonna."
" or-
1? Ya gotta send a
corsage.”
nuc"
a send a
you
send а corsage to
Daphne Bigelow. You asked me if I was
send a corsage to Daphne, and
he's gonna think you're a
real cheap
skate
It was gett
ridiculous. Schwartz, was
being even more of a numskull than
usual.
schwartz, I have decided not to ask
phne Bigelow to the prom.”
He looked directly at me, which
caused him to slam into two stol
n girls, Their hooks slid across
the floor. where they were trampled un-
derfoot by the thundering mob.
“Well, who are you taking:
oblivious to their shrieks of d
“Wan Hickey,”
“Wanda Hickey!"
Schwanz completely thrown by
this bit of news. Wanda H
never been what you could call a n
маг in our Milky Way. We walked on,
ying nothing, until finally, as we opened
our lockers, Schwartz Well. she sure
is good а
It was
fresh:
he asked,
ау.
an algebra
at Clara Mae
s a spelling nut. Maybe we both got
we deserved
ter that day, in the study hall, after
d polished off a history theme on
some stupid thing like the Punic Wars, 1
got to thinking about Wanda. I could
see her sitting way over on the other side
of the room, a dusty sunbeam filter
through the window shades and I
up her straw-colored. hair, She was kind
of cure, ГА never really no before.
Ever since second grade, Wanda had just
wh:
“Hey, Pop, when will I have hair on my chinny-chin-chin
225
PLAYBOY
225 fi
been there,
Helen Wca
anonymo
along with Eileen Akers,
hers and all the rest of that
throng of girls who formed
an erotic backdrop for the theater of
my mind. And here I was, at long last
taking Wanda Hickey—Ianda Hickey
—to the prom, the only junior prom 1
would ever attend in my life.
As I chewed on the end of my fake
marble Wearever pen, E watched Wanda
through half-closed eyes in the dusty
sunbeam as she read the Lady of the
Lake, Ahead of me, Schwartz dozed
fitfully, as he alw id in study hall,
his forehead. occa
desk, Flick, to my right, struggled sullen-
ly over his chemistry workbook. We both
Knew it was hopeless. Flick was the only
one in our crowd who consistently
flunked everything. In the end, he never
even graduated, but we didn't know that
then.
The prom was just five days away.
This was the last week of school. Ahead,
our Jong summer in the sun stretched
out like a lazy yellow road. For many of
us, it was the Jast peaceful summer we
were to know.
Mr. Wilson,
the study-hall teacher,
wandered aimlessly up and down the
isles, pretending he was interested in
we were pretending to be doing
From somewhere outside drifted the cries
of a girls’ volleyball game, while I drew
pictures of my Ford on the inside cover
of my three-ring notebook: front vie
rear view, outlining the di
ngs with ink.
"That morning, on my way to school, I
had gone down to the Cupid Florist
Shop and ordered an orchid. My 94
dollars were shrinking fast. The cipht-
dollar bite for the orchid didn't help.
Schwartz and T were going to split on
the gas, which would come to maybe а
buck apiece. After paying for the sum-
mer formal, I'd have а ten dollars left
lor the big night. As I sat in study hall, I
calculated, writing the figures down, add-
ng and subtracting. But it didn't come
out to much, no matter how I figured it,
Schwartz passed a note back to I
opened it: "How about the Red Rooster
afterward?"
І wrote underneath, "Where else?
1 passed it back. The Red Rooster was
part of the tribal ritual, It was the place
you went alter a big date, if you could
afford it.
nced over across the room at
and caught her looking at me.
She instantly buried her head in her
book. Good old Wanda.
On the way home from school every
day that weck, of course, all we talked
bout was the prom. Flick was doublc-
dating with Jossway and we were all
going to meet afterward at the Rooster
and roister until dawn, drinking deeply
of the sweet elixir of the good life. The
only thing that nagged me now was
ncial, Ten bucks didn't look as big
as it usually did. Ord . wn bucks
could have gotten me through a month
of just fooling around, but the prom was
the big time.
Friday night, as I sat in the kitchen
before going to bed, knocking down a
erwurst on whole wheat and drinking
a glass of chocolate milk, the back door
squeaked open and in breezed the old
man, carrying his bowling bag. Friday
night was his big night down at the
Bowl. He was a fanatical bowler, and.
a good onc, too. He slid the bag across
the floor, pretending to lay one down
i ht arm held out in a
graceful follow right leg trail
in the classic bowling stance.
“Right the pocket,” he вай
satisfactio
“How'd you do tonight?" I asked.
ot bad. Had a two-oh-seven game.
Damn near cracked six hundred."
He opened the refrigerator and fished
around for а beer, then sat down heav-
ily, downed two thirds of the bottle in a
mighty drag, burped loudly and said:
“Well, tomorrow's the big day, ain't
io"
“Yep,” I answered. “Sure i
"You takin' Daphne Bigelow?” he
ih. Wanda Hickey
“Oh, yeah? Well, you can't win ‘cm
all, nda's old man is some kind of a
“I guess so."
“He drives a Studebaker Champion,
don't he? The green two-door with the
whitewa
The old man had a fine eye for cars.
He judged all men by what they drove.
Apparently, а guy who drove а two«oor
Studebaker was not absolutely beyond
the pale.
“Not a bad car. Except they burn
afier a while," he mused, omitting no
aspects of the Studebaker.
hey used to have a weak fr
Bad kingpins.” He shook his Iu
ly, opening another beer and г
for the rye bread.
I said nothing lost in my own
thoughts. My mother and kid brother
had been in bed for an hour or so, We
were, for all practical purposes, alone in
the house. Next door, Mrs. Kissel threw
ош а pan of dishwater into the back
yard with a swoosh. Her screen door
slammed,
“How ya fixed for tomorrow night?”
the old man asked suddenly, swirling his
beer bottle around to ra he head.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, how arc ya fix
My father never talked money to me. I
got my allowance every Monday and that
was that.
“Well, I've got about ten bucks,”
“Hm.” That was all he said.
Alter sit in silence for a minute or
so, he said, “You know, I always wished 1
t end.
ad crit
ching
coulda gone to a proi
How can you answer something like
that? He had barely gotten out of eighth
grade when he had to go to work, and he
never stopped for the rest of his life.
“Oh, well, what the hell.” He finally
answered himself.
He cut himself a couple of slices of
boiled ham and made a sandwich.
“I was really hot tonight. Got a string
of six st
‘The old hook was mov
of wood."
He reached into his hip pocket, took
is wallet and said, “Look, don't tell
He handed me a $20 bill.
“I had a couple of bets going on the
second game, aud Fm a money bowler
t. No doubt of it. In his
ly teens, he had scrounged out a 1
ing as а pool shark, and he had never
lost the touch. 1 took the S20, glommed
onto it the way the proverbial drowning
man grabs at a straw. I was so astounded
at this unprecedented gesture that it
aight strikes in the second
getting а lot
never occurred to me 10 say thanks. He
Thad. A
would have been embarrassed.
miracle had come to pass. Th
doubt about it—the prom was goi
an unqualified blast.
"The next day dawned bright and sun-
perfect as а June day can be—in a
steel-mill town. Even the blast-furnace
dust that drifted aimlessly throu
soft air glowed with promise. I w
у, dusting off the car. It was goi
be a top. dow ht. If there is anythi
more romantic than a convertible wi
the top down in June g to à prom,
Td like to hear about it. Cleopatra's
barge couldn't have been much more
seductive.
My kid brother, his diminutive Flash
Gordon T-shirt showing a great expanse
of knobby backbone and skinny belly.
yapped around me as I toiled over the
Ford.
"Look what you done to my T-shirt!"
he whined, his runny nose atrickle. He
was in the midst of his annual spi
cold, which would be superseded by his
summer cold, which lasted nicely to the
whopper he got in the fall, which, of
course, was only a prelude to his winter
long monster cold.
“Stay away from the fender.
dripping on it!” I shouted
You're
angrily,
shoving him aw:
only about an inch
I couldn't help laughing. It was true
Flash had shrunk, along with the shirt,
which Randy had earned by doggedly
eating three boxes of Wheat
the box tops and mailing them ii
25 cents that he had, by dint of Гегосіс
l, saved from h
ce.
“Look, ГИ get you another Flash Gor-
don T-shirt.”
“You can't. They're not givin’ ‘em
no more, They're givin’
Jonathan Lawrence is doing
everything for his thinning hair.
Everything wrong.
Like shampooing too often.
And using bar soap or whatever"
handy. Both drying. And dry ha
tends to be brittle. Breakable. (And
the more his hair breaks, the less
he's got.)
Since all that shampooing
makes his hair uncooperative,
Jonathan uses a grooming agent.
Sure, it keeps his hair from dancing
all over his head. By squashing it.
Making it look even thinner. Be-
sides, it only glosses over the dry-
ness problem, and makes hair dirty
all over again. So, back to another
drying shampoo.
How to beat it? Shampoo once
a week. With Pantene® Shampoo
for Men. Does more than
simply wash dirt out.
Washesinbodyand shine. Whileour
famous Swiss conditioning formula
makes hair manageable. And undry.
Next: Pantene Hair Groom
Spray for Men. No kidding. Spray
helps keep hair in place lightly.
Gently. Undetectably. Hair looks
thicker, fuller. And t
a lot toa man who doesn't have a lot.
And, to keep hair fresh and
clean between shampoos, Pantene
Hair Lotion. A daily splash and a
scrub of the fingers does it. Keeps
hair healthier looking, too.
can mean
Everything from Pantene —
Shampoo, Hair Groom Spray, Hair
Lotion. AH made here with a
unique Swiss conditioning formula.
| All dogood while they
keep your hair
looking good.
Pantene.
Everything right for your hair.
PLAYBOY
230
Duck beanies with a propeller оп top
now,
“Well, then, stretch the one you got
now, stupid.”
“It wont stretch. It keeps getting
ler."
Не bounced up and down on a clothes
pole, joggling the clothesline and my
mother's wash. Within three seconds, she
was ont on the back porch.
CUT IT OUT WIIH THE
CLOTHES POLE!”
Sullenly, he slid off onto the ground.
I went back to work, until the Ford
med like some rare jewel. Then I
went into the house to begin the even
e laborious process of getting myself
п shape for the evening ahead. Locking
l took two showers,
ew bar of Lifebuoy
n to a nub. I knew what happened
10 people who didn't use it; every week,
litle comic strips underneath Moon
Mullins told endless tales of disastrous
promis due to dreaded b. o. It would not.
happen to me.
I theu shaved for the second time that
week, using a new Gillette Blue Blade.
As usual when an important shave was
executed, I nicked myself nastily in sev-
eral places.
"Son of a bitch," I muttered, plaster-
ing the wounds with little pieces of toilet
paper.
Carefully, I went over every inch of
my face, battling that age-old enemy, the
blackhead, and polished off the job with
ious application of stinging Aqua
icked my hair, combing
getting just the right
nsouciant pitch to my pride and јоу, my
d.a. cut. Tonight, I would be a truly
nt specimen of lusty manhood.
5 fast approaching when I
emerged from the bathroom, redolent of
re aromas, pink and svelte. But the
real battle had not yet begun. Laid out
on my bed was my beautiful summer
formal. Al was right: The clegant white
coat truly gleamed in virginal splendor.
Not a trace of the red stain nor the
sinister hole could be detected. The coat
was ready for another night of celebra-
tion, its lapels spotless, its sleeves smooth
and uncreased.
Carefully, 1 undid the ү
tooned ту pl lo shirt. It
was the damnedest thing I had ever see
once [ got it straightened out: long,
ug. gauzelike shirtails, a crinkly
front that thrummed like sheet metal
and а collar that seemed to be carved of
white rock. I slipped it on. Panic! It
had no buttous—just holes.
Rummaging around frantically in the
bos the tux came in, I found a cello-
phane bag containing little round black
things. Ripping the bag open, 1 poured
them out; there were five of them, two
of which immediately darted under the
bed. From the looks of the remaining
three, they certainly weren't. buttons;
but they'd have to do. Although I didn't
know it at the time. ] had observed a
classic maneuver executed by at least
one stud out of every set ever rented
with a tux. Down on my hands and
knees, already beginning to lose my
Lifebuoy sheen, sweat popping out here
and there, | scrambled around for the
missing culprits.
‘The ordeal was well under way. Seven
o'clock was approaching with such ra-
pidity аз to be almost unbelievable.
Schwartz, Clara Mac and Wanda would
already be waiting for me, and here 1
was in my drawers, crawling around on
my hands and knees. Finally, amid the
dust and dead spiders under my bed,
1 found the two studs cowering together
behind a hardball I'd lost three months
carlicr.
Back before the mirror, I struggled to
get them in place between the concrete
slits. Sweat was beginning to show under
my arms. l got two in over my breast-
bone and then I nied to get the one
at the collar over my Adam's apple. It
was impossible! I could feel from deep
within me several sobs beginning to
form. The more I struggled, the more
nvfisted I became. Oh. no! Two bla
ish thumb smudges appeared on my snow-
white collar.
“MA!” I screamed, “LOOK AT MY
SHIRT!
She rushed in from the kitchen, carry-
ing a paring knife and a pan of apples.
“What's the matter?”
I pointed at
the telltale
nts.
My kid brother cackled in delight
when he saw the trouble I was in,
"Don't touch it" she barked, taking
control immediately. Dirty collars were
her métier. She had fought them all her
life. She darted out of the room and
returned instantly with an artgum eraser.
“Now, hold still.”
I obeyed as she carefully worked the
stud in place and then artistically erased
the two monstrous thumbprints. Never
my life had I experienced a colla
remotely like the one that now camped
its grasp around my windpipe.
Hard and unyield dug mercilessly
into my throat—a mere sample of wi
10 come.
Where's your tie?" she asked. I had
forgotten about that detail.
“It... ack... must be... in the
box," I managed to gasp out. The collar
had almost paralyzed my voice box.
She rummaged around and cime up
with the bow tie. It was black and it had
two metal clips. She snapped it onto the
wing collar and stood back.
Now, look at yourself in the mirror.”
I didn't recognize. myself.
She picked up the midnight-blue trou-
sers and held them open, so that I could
slip into them without bending over,
True to his word, Al had, indeed,
nin the seat. The pants clamped me
n a viselike grip that was to damn near
emasculate me before the evening was
ош. I sucked in my stomach, buttoned
the waistband tight, zippered up the fiy
and stood straight as a ramrod before the
mirror. I had no other choice.
"Gimme your foot.”
My mother was down on all fours,
pulling the silky black socks onto my
feet. Then, out of a box on the bed, she
removed the gleaming pair of patent-
leather dancing pumps, grabbed my
ight foot and shoved it into one of
them, using her finger as a shochorn. 1
tromped down. She squealed in pain.
“1 can't get my finger out!”
I hobbled around, taking her finger
with me.
STAND STILL!" she screamed,
I stood like a crane, one foot in the
with her finger jammed deep into
the heel.
“RANDY! COME HERE!” she yelled.
My kid brother, who was sulking un-
der the day bed, ran into the room.
"PULL HIS SHOE OFF, RANDY!"
ntic.
She was fr
“What for?" he asked sullen
“DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS,
JUST DO WHAT I say!”
1 was getting an enormous cramp in
my right buttock.
“STAND STILL'" she yelled.
"YOU'RE BREAKING MY FINGER!”
Randy looked оп impassivel
a scene that he was
family legend. embroid
more as the years went by—making him-
self the hero, of course.
“RANDY! ТАКЕ OFF HIS SHOE!"
Her voice quavered with pain and exas-
peration.
“He squirted my T-shirt.”
"If you don't take off his shoe th
instant, you're gonna regret it" This
time, her voice was low and menacing
We both knew the tone. It was the end
of the line.
Randy bent over and tugged off the
shoe. My mother toppled backward in
relief, rubbing her index finger, which
was already blue,
“Go back under the day bed,” she
pped. He scurried out of the room. 1
straightened out my leg—the c
iding like a volcano in the m
my bones—and the gleaming pumps
were put in place without further inci-
dent. I stood encased as in armor.
Whats this thing?” she asked from
Ч me. I executed a careful 180-
“A cummerbund!" She had seen Fred
Astaire in many а cummerbund while he
spun down marble si ith Ginger
Rogers in his arms, but it was the first
actual specimen she had ever been close
to. She picked it up reverently, its paisley
Campus is a short story
with a happy end.
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PLAYBOY
232
"Now I understand, Professor Kirkbright—you
never intended to blast off!”
11
descent jewel.
“How does it work?
g it closely.
Before 1 could answer, she said, *
see, I has snaps on the back, Hold sil
She drew it
light. The snaps c no place. It
rode snugly halfway up my ches
She picked up the st
it ош. 1 lowered my arms
ened up and there I stood — Adonis!
Posing before the full-length mirror on
the bathroom door, I noted the rich
accent of my velvet stipes, the gle
my pumps, the da
sparkle of my high
What a sight! What a feel
the way life should be. This is what it's
all about.
I heard my mother call out пот the
ext room: “Hey, what's this thing?" She
came out holding a cellophane bag con-
да oon object.
dh, that’s my boutonniere.”
“Your what?”
“Ws a thing for the lapel. Like a fake
flower.”
It was the work of an instant to install
my elegant wool carnation. It was the
crowning touch, I was so overwhelmed
that I didn't care about the fact that it
didn't match my black tie, as Al had
promised. With the cummerbund 1 was
wearing, no one would notice, anyway.
Taking my leave as Cary Grant would
have done, | sauntered. out the front
door, turned to give my mother a jaunty
ice lighting up the room like an
she asked, exam-
wave—just in time for her to call me
back to pick up Wanda's corsage, w
Га left on the from-hall table.
Slipping carefully into the front 5
h the celluloid-topped box safely
beside me, I leaned forward slightly, to
avoid wrinkling the back of my coat,
started the motor up and shoxed off
the warm spring night. A soft
moon hung overhead. and the
purred like a kitten. When I pulled up
before Wanda's house, it was lit up from
top to bottom, Even belore my brakes һай
stopped squealing, she was out on the
porch, her mother Il bout her,
father lu the background,
1, I moved up the
walk; my pants wi i Td
taken one fuse step, God knows what
would have happened. In my sweaty,
Aqua Vely ‚1 dutdied the
al largess i
Wanda wore
gown, her milky
porch
da,
ght.
This was not the old W; For опе
thing. she didn't have her gl
id, the way the true myopia victim's
always are
“Gee, thanks for the orchid,” she whis-
pered. He e sounded strained. In
accordance with the tribal custom, she,
100, was being mercilessly clamped by
Her mother,
Wanda, only slightly puffy here
there, sa “You'll take care of her now,
won't you?”
“Now, Emily, don't start yapping,” her
old man mutter in the darkness,
“They're not kids anymore.”
They stood in the doorway as we
drove off through the soft night toward
Schwartz’ house, our conversation stilted,
our excitement almost at the boiling
point. Schwartz rushed out of his house,
his white c
ness, his h:
(d surrounded. by
Lifebuoy
Five minutes Inter. Clara Mae piled
into the back seat beside him, carefully
holding up her daffodil-vellow skirts, her
Jong slender neck arched. She, 100,
w ng her glasses, 1 had never
t a good speller could be so
v. a good half head short-
laughed. nervously as we tooled on
toward the Cherrywood Co
From all over town, other cars, polished
d waxed, carried the rest of the junior
ss to their great trial by fire.
The cub newled amid di
only barely detectable. Parking the car
in the lot, we threaded our way through
the starched and. crinolined crowd—the
girls’ girdles creaking in unison—to the
grand ballroom. Japanese lanterns danced
in the breeze through the open doors to
the garden, bathing the dance floor in a
fairytale glow.
I found myself sa
And, "Y I believe
perfect.” Only Flick
Philistine, failed to
Already rumpled in his summer
he made a few tasteless wisecracks as
Iseley and his Magic Music
struck up the sultry sounds that
had made them famous in every steel-mill
town that ringed Lake Michigan. Dark
and sensuous, the dance floor engulfed
us all. I felt tall, slim and beautiful, not
ig at the time that everybody feels
ented white coat and
black pants. T could see myself standing
on a mysterious balcony, a lonely, cle-
gant figure. looking out over the lights of
some exotic city, а scene of sophisticated
the
the
regenerate
ise to the occasion.
formal,
Mickey
ied moment when
Mickey Iscley stood in the baby spot. his
wp. before а microphone
shaped like a chromium bullet
AIL right. boys and gi
lic ring of feedback framed his words in
an echoing nimbus. "And now, some-
thing really romantic. A request: When
the Swallows Come Back to Capistrano.
We're going to turn the lights down for
this one.
wow! The lights faded even low
Only the Japanese lanterns glowed dimly
гей, green, yellow and blu п the
enchanted darkness. It was unquestionably
the high point of my existence.
Wanda and I began to maneuver
around the floor. My experience in danc-
ing had been gaincd almost entirely from
reading Arthur Mur nd prac-
ticing with a pillow for a partner behind
the locked door of the bathroom. As we
shuffled across the floor, 1 could sce the
black footprints before my eyes. march-
g on a white page: 1-23: then the
white one that sa Pause.
Back and forth, up and down, we
moved metronomically. My box step was
so square that 1 went le right
angles for weeks alterw: The wool
rode high up on my lapel and
inning to scratch my cheek, and
an insistent itch began to
right shoulder. There was some
wire or horschair or
shoulder pad that w:
its way into my flesh
shing concrete collar,
having wilted,
ads
s beginning to bore
had removed а
wide strip of skin encircling my neck. As
cessant abrasive action
nic м
now
for my voice—due to the
1 of the collar, i
more thi
"When the sv
little
-.. come baa
moocd
who doubled as the band's
aa
the drummer,
romantic voca
the most r € flower
ееп. At least 14 hes across, it looked
like some kind of overgrown Venus
flytrap waiting for the right moment. to
strike. Deep purple, with an obscene
yellow tongue that stuck straight out of
t, and greenish knobs on the end,
clashed almost audibly with her turquoise
dress. It looked like it was breath
and it clung to her shoulder as if with
claws.
As I glided back and forth in my
aceful box step, my left shoulder began.
itch that helped take my
4 off of the insane itch in my right
ich was beginning to feel
army of hungry soldier ants on
The contortions 1 made to
relieve the agony were camouflaged nice-
ing fit brought оп by
the orchid, which was exhaling directly
into my face, So with a
ly esence of Smith Brothers cough
drops and sauerkraut
“When the deceep papani ИИ
«+ Over slececepy gaaardennnn. wallllls
bled the vocalist. into. his mi-
crophone, with which he seemed to be
dancing the tango. The loudspeakers
rattled in thi er time as W:
started to sweat through her taffeta
felt it running down hı
back was alre
"Ж,
da
1
k. My own
sequar
Чу so wet you could read 233
PLAYBOY
234
the label on my undershirt right through
the dinner jacket.
Back and forth we trudged doggedly
across the crowded Ноо
Murray ad man, Schw:
actly the sime мер м
rectly behind me. We were all in a
four-part lock step. As I hit the lower
left-hand footprint in my squ
righthand corner of his square.
ic we did that, our elbows dug
nto each other's ribs.
gle fragrance of the orchid
per by the minute and the
ted my Jock-
upper
ch
smartly
The ju
жаз getting ri
sweat, which had now satura
ey shorts, was pouring down my legs in
rivulets. My soaked cummerbund had
turned two shades darker. So that she
shouldn't notice, 1 pulled Wanda doser
to me. Sighing, she hugged me back.
[апда was the vaguely chubby type of
girl that was so popular at the time. Like
Judy Garland, by whom she was heavily
influenced, she strongly resembled a pink
beach ball—but a cule beach ball, solt
and rubbery, 1 felt bumpy things under
her taffeta gown. with little hooks and
knobs. Schwartz caught me a nasty shot
in the rib cage just as 1 bent over to kiss
her lightly on the bridge of her позе. It
ted salty. She looked up at me, her
yopic eyes catching the
the red and green lanterns
great liquid
relleaion of
overhead.
During a brief intermissi nz
and I carried paper cups dripping syrupy
pundi back to the who had just
spent some time in the ladies room
struggling unsuccessfully to repair the
damage of the first half. As we were
a
sipping, a face from my dim past floated
by from out of nowhere—haughty, ala-
baster, green-eyed, dang.
“Hi, Daph,” I muuered, spilling a
little punch on my gleaming pumps,
which had turned during the past hour
nto a pair of iron maidens.
“Oh, Howard." She spoke in the
breathy, sexy way that such girls always
have at proms, "Id like you to meet
meron, He's at Prince-
gure, probably born in
loomed overhead.
s Howard."
the first time I
swinging-jaw
ceionian. It was
ous.
a summer form
“Budge. th
"Hi
not to be the last.
They were gone, Funny, I couldn't
even reme
rellected, as
again. We swüng back into action
opened with Sleepy Lagoon. 1-
in now. I had broken out
i. I felt it sp
lashed on
by the sweat. The horsehair, meanwhile
had penetrated my chest cavity and was
working its way toward а vital organ.
Trying manfully to ignore it, I stared
fixedly at the tiny turquoise ribbon that
held Wanda's golden ponytail in place.
With troubles of her own, she looked
with an equ t my ma-
roon-wool carnation, which by this time
had wilted into a dump of lim.
АП of a sudde The band
played Good Night, Sweetheart and we
were out—into a dri
“Do you think I like making passes at other men's
wives? You know that’s why Im seeing an analyst.”
the door. My poor little car,
joy of
the pride
y life, was outside in the
We stood under the canopy as the
ring thunderstorm raged on. It wasn’t
going to stop.
You guys stay here. ТЇЇ get the c
1 said ft ү. Alter all, E was in ch: 3
Plunging into the downpour, I sloshed
through the puddles and finally reached
the Ford. She st have had at least
а foot of water in ady. Hair
streaming down over my eyes, soaked to
the skin and muddied to the knees, I
bailed it out w collee сап from the
trunk, slid behind the wheel and. pressed
the automatictop lever. Smooth as silk,
1 to lift—and stuck halfway up.
п poured down in sheets and
ng Mashed, 1 pounded on the
ys. furiously switched the lever olf
and on. I could sce the country club
dimly through the downpour. Finally,
the top groaned and flapped into place.
1 threw down the snaps, rolled up the
windows and turned on the tion; the
battery. was dead. of hoisting
that goddamn top had
yelled out the wi
his Chevy
“GIMME A PUSH! MY BATTERY'S
DEAD!"
This had never, to my knowledge, hap-
pened to Fred Astaire.
Flick expertly swung his Chevy around
and slammed into my trunk as I eased
her into gear, and when she started to
roll, the Ford shuddered and hi.
Flick backed up and was gone, hollering
out the window:
"SEE YOU AT THE ROOSTER.”
Wanda, Schwartz and Clara Mae piled
in on the damp, soggy seats and we took
off. Do you know what happens to a
-wool carnation oi
1 heavy June dow!
Midwest, where it rains not water but
carbolic acid [rom the steel-mill fallou?
l had a dark, wide, spreading maroon
stripe that went all the way down to the
bottom of my white coat, My French
cuffs were covered with grease trom
fighting the top, and I had cracked a
пай, which was beginning to throb.
Undaunted, we slogged intrepidly
through the rain toward the Red Roost-
пу side, Wanda
ious to the ele
love eye
tic. Schwartz
seat and Clara.
ne. The savage
ng its final and most.
looked up at me—obli
ments—with luminou
truly an incurable
wisecracked.
giggled [rom time to ti
tribal rite was ne
al-
es for
with
a blue neon
down im the rain set the tone for this
glamorous establishment, A of
undefined sin was always connected with
the name Red Rooster. Sly winks, nudg.
ings and adolescent cacklings about what
purportedly went on at the Rooster
made it the "in" spot for such a momen-
tous revel. Its waiters were rumored real-
ly to be secret henchmen of the Mafia.
But the only thing we knew for sure
about the Rooster was that anybody on
the far side of seven years old could pro-
cure any known drink without question.
The decor ran heavily to red-check-
credoildoth table covers and. plastic vio-
Jes, and the musical background was
provided by a legendary jukebox that
stood а full seven [cet high, featuring
red and blue cascading waterfalls that
gushed endlessly trough its voluptuous
façade. In full 200awate operation, it
could be felt, if not clearly heard, as far
north as Gary and as far south as Kanka-
kee. A triumph of American aesthetics.
Surging with anticipation, 1 guided
Wanda through the uproarious throng of
my peers. Schwartz and Clara Mae trailed
g ribald remarks with
We occupied ining table.
ediately, iter sidled
over and hovered like a vulture. Distrib-
uting the famous Red Rooster Ala Carte
Deluxe Menu. һе stood. back, smirking,
and waited for us 10 impress our dates.
"Can E bring you к,
gentlemen?" he said, heavily accenting
the gentlemen,
My first impulse was to order my fa-
vorite drink of the period, a bottled
chocolate concoction called Kayo, the
Wonder Drink; but remembering that
better things were expected of me on
ijthing to dr
prom night, I said, in my deepest voice,
"Uh... make mine bourbon
Schwartz grunted in admiration. Wan-
da ogled me with great, swimming, love-
sick eyes. Bourbon was the only drink
that I had actually heard of. My old man
it often down at the Bluebird
ern. 1 had always wondered what it
tasted like. I was soon to find out.
How will you have it, sir?"
“Well, in a glass, I guess.” I had failed
10 grasp the subtlety of his question, but
the waiter snorted in appreciation of my
humorous sally.
“Rods?
Rocks? I
rocks, but
well, what the hell.
"Sure," I said. "Why пор"
АП around me, the merrymaking
throng was swinging into high gear. Ca
ried away by it all, I
bad heard my old man use oft
make it a triple.” I had some vagu
that this was a brand or something.
“A triple? Yes, sir.” His eves snapped
wide—in respect, I gathered. He knew
he was in the presence of a serious
drinker.
The waiter turned his gaze in Schwartz
ection. “And you, sir?”
he continued.
ad heard about getting your
never in a restaurant. Oh,
added а phrase 1
“And
dea
it the same.” Schwartz had never
been a leader.
The die was cast. Pink ladies, at the
waiter’s suggestion, were ordered for the
girls and we then proceeded to scan
the immense menu with feigned disinter-
est. When the waiter returned with ow
drinks, I ordered—for reasons that ev
today 1 am unable to explain—French
lamb chops. turnips, mashed potatoes
and gravy, а side dish of the famous Red
Rooster Roquelort Italian Cole Slaw and
strawberry shortcake. The others wisely
decided to stick with their drinks.
Munch sticks Wanda,
Clara, Schwartz ed sophis-
ticated postprom repartee. Moment. by
1. 1 felt my strength and matu
my dashing bonhomie, my
handsomeness enveloping my friends in
its benevolent warmth. Schwartz, too,
seemed to scintillate as never belore
Clara giggled and Wanda sighed, over
come by Ше romance of it all. Even
n Flick, siting dwee tables away
dipped Schwartz behind the lelt ear
with а poppyseed roll, our urbanity re
mained unrullled
Before me reposed a sparkling tumbler
of beautiful amber liquid, ice cubes
bobbing merrily on its surface, a swizzle
stick sport | enormous red rooster
sticking out at a jaunty angle. Schwart/
arly equipped. And the fully
pink ladies looked lovely in the reflected
light of the pulsating jukebox.
Thad seen my old man deal with just
this sort of situ: Raising my beaded
glass, 1 looked around at my companions
ind said suavely, “Well, here's mud in
yer eye.” Clara giggled; Wanda sighed
dreamily, now totally in love with this
man of the world who sat across from
her on tliis, our finest night.
Yep,” Schwartz partied wittily, hoist
ing his glass high and slopping a little
bourbon on his pants as he did so.
Swiltly, 1 brought the bourbon to my
lips, intending to down it in a sing!
dev care draught, the way Gary
Cooper used to do in the Silver Dollar
Saloon. I did, and Schwartz followed
sui. Down it went—a scr g 100.
proof rocket searing savagely down my
gullet, For an instant, Г sat stunned,
le to comprehend what had hap
pened. Eyes watering copiously, I had a
brief urge to sneeze, but my throat
seemed to be lyzed, Wanda and
Лага Mae swam belore my misted vi
sion; and Schwartz seemed to have disap
peared under the table. He popped up
again—face beet red, eyes bugging, jaw
k, tongue lollir
Isn't this ro c? Isn't this the
most wonderful night in all our lives? 1
will forever treasure the memories of this
wonderful night.” From far off, echoing
as from some subterranean tunnel, I
heard Wanda speaking
Deep down in the pit of my stomach.
1 felt crackling flames licking at
Keep it handy
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236
iun
my
rds. I struggled to reply, to maintain
clan. my Tabled savoir-jaire. “Urk
шк... yeah,” I finally mans
with superhuman effort.
Wanda swam havily
was gazing across the
adoring еуез.
мо focus. She
ble at me with
The waiter was
Schwartz nodded dumbl
there, afraid to move. An
two more triple bourbons mate
Irom of us.
а raised her pink lady high
reverently, "Lets drink to
ht of our lives.
g back. Another
ich. For
I just sar
istant later,
lized in
nd
the
said
happiest п
There was no tu
screamer rocketed down the I
an instant, it seemed as though this one
wasn't going to be as lethal as the fist,
but then the room suddenly tiled sid
ways. 1 felt torrents of cold sweat po
ng from my forehead. Clinging to the
edge ol the table, 1 watched as Schwartz
gagged across from me. Flick, I noticed,
had just chugalugged his third rum and
Coke and was cating а cheeseburger.
"The con tion deep inside me was
now clearly out of control. My feet were
smoking: my diaphragm heaved convul-
sively, jigs my cummerbund: and
Schwartz began to shrink, his face alter-
nating between purple-red and chalk-
white, his eyes black holes staring fixedly
at the ketchup bottle. He sat stock-stil
awhile, cooed on eot:
s beyond understand
she was saying. Faster and
ever-widening circles, the room, the juke-
box, the crowd swirled diz
1n all the excitement of pre
the prom, I realized that I hadn't
gle thing, all d
Out of the maelstroi
ously appeared belore me: paper-pantied
lamb chops h n bubbling grease,
piled yellow t mashed pota
toes awash in rich brown gravy. Maybe
is would help, I thought incoherently.
sping my knife and fork as firmly
1 could, 1 poised to whack off a piece of
meat. Suddenly, the landscape listed 45
d the chop I was
attack. skidded off my plate—
swath through the mashed
aide.
mysteri-
ng
potitoes—and right into d
Pretending not to notice, | addressed
myself 10 the remaining chop, which slid
wound. eluding my grep. until I
managed to skewer it with my fork.
Hacking oll a chunk, I jammed it fiercely
mouthwi
ly. Suill
slithered ove
d, missing my target complete-
paled on my fork, the chop
checkbo
finally I man
down.
То my surprise, I didn't feel
ıer. Maybe the tur
thought. Lowe: у
inch of the plate, to prevent en
агтазу-
mishaps, I shoveled them in—but the
Hames within only fanned higher and
4 the potatoes and gravy.
My 5 began to turn cold. I wolled
the Red Rooster Roquefort Talian
Cole Slaw. My stomach began to rise like
a helium balloon, bobbing slowly up the
alimentary canal.
My nose low over the heaping dish of
strawberry shortcake, piled high with
whipped cream and running with juice,
I Knew at last for a dead certainty what 1
1 to do before it
Tront of everybody. 1
feet. A : y
ck my extremities, 1 tott
to chair, grasping for the wall.
seconds ater, I was on my
g the bowl of the john
weserver in pitching seas.
ting me as usual, lay al
most. prostrate on the tiles beside me, his
body wracked with heaving sobs. Lamb
chop, bourbon, turnips, m:
toes, cole saw—all of it
ош of me in a great roar
out of my mouth, my по
very soul. Then Schw
we took turns retel
ing. A head thrust itself
directly into the pot. It was Flick
g wretchedly. Up came the cheeseburg-
cr. the rum and Cokes, pretzels, ро
chips, punch, gumdrops, а corned-beef
sandwich, a fingernail or two—every-
x he'd eaten for the past week. For
minutes, the three of us lay there
ad quivering, smelling to
heaven, too weak to get up. It was the
absolute high point of the junior prom;
the rest was anticlima:
Finally, we returned 10 the
faced and shaking. Schwarz,
pled. sat жога
girls didn't say much. Pi
ight bourbon.
p played the scene
out bravely to the end. My dinner
was now even more redolent and dis-
reputable than when Fd first wen it on
the hanger at Al's, And my bow tie, which
had hung for a while by one clip, had
somehow disappeared completely, per
haps Hushed into eternity with all the
rest. But as time wore on, my hearing
and eyesight bes ‚ту
legs began to lose their rubbe
the room slowly resumed its even keel—
at least even enough to consider gening
up and leaving. The waiter seen
know. He returned as if on cue, bea
a slip of paper.
dow
пе rush
ng torrent,
‚ ту саг, my
12 opened up,
8
aded it to him with as much
of a Hourish as 1 could There
wouldn't have been any poi
over the check; I wouldn't have been
able to read it, anyway. In one last at
tempt to recoup my cosmopolitan image,
1 said olfhandedly, "keep the change.
Wanda beamed in u sled ecstasy.
conc
he drive home in the damp car was
not quite the same as the one that had
begun the evening so many weeks car-
lier, Our rapidly ferment
the enclosed air rich Р
Schwartz, who had stopped belch
with head pulled low between his s
der blades, s ıt ahead. Only
the girls preserved the joyousness of the
occasion. Women ahways survive.
In a daze, I dropped off Schwartz and
Мае and drove in silence toward
s home, the ght of dawn
шло sh the east
stood on her porch for the last
ritual encounter. A chill dawn wind rus-
ded the lilac bushes.
"This was the most wonderful, won-
derful night of my whole life. 1 always
dreamed the prom would be Tike this,"
breathed Wanda, ely up
watering
s all I could manage.
new what was expected of me
es closed dreamily. Swaying slight
ed forward—and the lint odor
of sauerkraut from her parted lips coiled
slowly up to my nosuils. This was not
the script. I knew Т had better ge
that porch fast, or else. Backpedaling
desperately down the stairs. I blurted,
“Bve” and—fighting down my rising
gorge—clamped my mouth tight, leaped
into the Ford, burned rubber and tore
olf into the dawn. Two blocks away,
I squealed 10 a stop alongside а vac
lot conti only a huge Sherwin
Williams WE covek THE
EARTH, it aptly read. In the blessed dark-
ness behind the sign, concealed from. pry
ng eyes, І completed the final rite ot
the tribal ceremony.
The sun was just r
the car up the driveway y
quictly imo the kitchen. The old man.
who was going fishing that morning. sat
the enamel table sipping black collec.
He looked up as I came
u look like you
prom," was all he said.
1 sure did.”
The yellow kitche
ly on my muddy pants, my maroon
streaked, vomitstained white coat, my
cracked fingernail, my greasy shirt.
"You want anything to eat?” he asked
lonically.
At the word my stomach heaved
1 shook my head num
КМГ thought,” he said. "Get
some sleep. You'll feel better in a couple
of days, when your head stops banging.”
nt back to reading his paper. I
staggered into my bedroom, dropping
bits of clothi My soggy
Hollywood paisley cummerbund, the vet
стап of another gala night, was flung
beneath my dresser as T toppled imo
bed. My brother muttered їп his steep
acros the room, He was still a kid, But
is time would come.
ng as | swung
xd cased myself
ıd a hell of
light glared hard
g as D went.
[thought I saw a Pussycat
-
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sour that mixes up about as quick as a cat. This national prize
winning drink is made with a packet of “Instant Pussycat Mix,”
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Ask for Instant Pussycat Mix at your favorite Food or Liquor Store.
86 PROOF — EARLY TIMES DISTILLERY CO., LOUISVILLE, KY. ФЕТОС, 1969.
27
PLAYBOY
238
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW
man of the Second and Third Centuries,
perhaps the most brilliant of Western
centuries. Bur then the Christians, those
ins, conquered the
lled them pagan and de-
it. Our р that we are
the children of the barbarians, not of the
civilized, and we have only just begun to
realize that there ave other values than
those preached by the sava
PLAYBOY: You've used the words
and “civilized” a number of times. What
do you mean by them?
ibal is what we were and to a
degree—vestigially—still arc. By wibal, I
an relationships
intellectual
zed and
hidden away im уа
earth, The Old 7 ment is a genuine
tribal document; the New Testament,
an abortive attempt to civilize the Old.
To civilize means, literally, to citify, Put
another way: bal versus civilized is
the village versus the city, To this day,
the villa actionary and noner
ious parts of the
that interplay of ideas that makes it pos-
sible ıo write King Lear or to put a man
(continued from page 96)
Пу. the village has
5 virtues—good manners. a degree of
kindness—and the city its demerits. too
easily named: but man's great advance
in the past 2000 years been the work
of those in s: after all, Shakespeare
left the village of Stratford 10 be gr
in the city of London, Or, to put the
larger frame, it was the city
of Rome that, for all its horrors, repre-
sented best, and the marauding
tribes north and cast, de.
stroyed it, man's worst. The of
course, is that culturally, in Americ:
we are descended from the tribesmen, not
the city men, and so it is hard for us to
make а ci n—but we are begin-
ing to.
PLAYBOY: Could this be
about. America?
VIDAL: If 1 dwell on our imperfections.
is to see them changed. As one who lives
in Europe as well as America, I can say
with some confidence that only thc
Amcricans save the world from
America; only our dissidents сап curb
the Pentagon, restore the plinet's ecolog-
ical balance. Oh, I'm very American in
my ambitions for our second-rate cultur
on the moon. Natu
man's
from
who
ony,
m optimistic nore
can
“You're leaning on my peephole!”
zed,
If we survive, we may yet be ci
nd that is something to work for
PLAYBOY: onc remarked of
Thoreau. "He has a military cast to him.
He feels himself only in opposi
tion.” You your liveliest on the
ttack. Would you say that you have an
Emerson
VIDAL: J wouldn't say it. but others do.
ally sets me off is injustice. In
defense of those I admire, Fm always
ready—eager?—to do battle, Although Т
have the killer instinct altogether too
well developed, I do пу to deploy it in
good causes. This pugnacity is inherited
from my mother's family, the Gores,
an Anglo-Irish dan of eloquent, t
tempered politicians, lawyers and preach-
ers. In me, their furious blood is only
tially diluted by a more genial Latin
PLAYBOY: Many men in hi
shared your moral indi ion and mili
tant iconoclasm have ре bitter and
lonely outsiders alienated not only from
society but from the warmth of hu
contact. 15 that true of you?
vipat: I think of myself as cheerful, even
on the attack, and though I am nor
gregarious nor anxious to be loved, T
have quite enough company out here on
the edge of things. For me. the only
danger is a tendency 10 drift toward the
cemter—which means that at some point,
I must make my getaway, whether it be
from the White House or from literary
respectability. At one time or another,
I've had a number of fine convention
my grasp: the
theater, Congress, telev
But
served my purpose—or perhaps once I
had got the range of it—t always found
some way of р ig ош. I'm not a
courtier; I'm a critic—something most
people who consider power exciting find
difficult. to understand. At the time of
break with the Kennedys, Arthur
Schlesinger told my sister that he feared
I had a death wish. To which 1 a
swered, "T have a life wish—and I can't
live vicariously.” But most people are
like Arthur. They want to belong—in
his case, to be a Kennedy: it is а touch-
ing. even sweet, instinct—but not for
пе. T can only breathe outside.
PLAYBOY: Is that the way you'd like
remembered? Outside?
tory who have
nan
careers. with
once each
my
be
VIDAL; 1 outside, certainly. and by
choice. As for being remembered —1I have
little interest in the idea of posterity.
Think of the thouxinds of years of
atirely lost. What
vives and what does not is simply а
matter of chance, and so incilculable.
All that matters to me is what I do this
morning, and that Т do it—and am here.
tian literatu
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DOWNWIND FROM GETTYSBURG
"Oh, Mr. Booth," said Bayes, on the
stant, almost happy. "I сап. I can do
ything with this case I wish, and I
vish not to press charges. More than
that, Mr. Booth, it never happened."
The hammering came aj this time
on a locked door up on the stige.
“Bayes, for God's sake, let me
is is Phippst Bayes!
at the trembling, the
Кеп, the rattling door, even
Imly and with
int
Just а moi
He knew tha
t in a few minutes this
calm would pass, some d
break; but for mow, there was this
splendidly serene thing he was doing; he
must play it out. He addressed the assas-
sin апа watched him dwindle, and spoke
further, and watched him shrink:
“It never happened, Mr. Booth. Tell
your story, but we'll deny it. You were
never here, no gun, no shot, no compu-
terized data-processed assassination, no
outrage, no shock, no panic, no mob.
Why, now, look at your face. Why are
you falling back? Why arc vou sitting
down? Why do you shake? [s it the
disappointment? Have I turned your fun
the wrong L" He nodded at
the ‘And now, Mr. Booth, get
out.
"You can't make”
Bayes took a soft step in, reached
down, took hold of the man's tie and
slowly pulled him to his feet so he was
breathing full in his face.
“IE jou ever tell your wife, any f
employer, child, man, won
uncle, aunt, cousin, if you ever tell ex
yourself out loud going to sleep s
night about this thing you did, do you
know what I am going to do to you, Mr.
Booth? I won't say, Mr. Booth, 1 ci
tell, But it will be awful and it will take
the better part of a da
Booth’s pale ook, his head
bobbed, his eyes peeled. wide, his mouth
open like one who walks in a heavy rai
"What did I just s
ше!”
He shook Booth until the words fell
out of his chattered teeth: "Kill me!"
He held tight ıd sha
man firmly у
massaging the shirt and the flesh beneath
the shirt, stirring up the panic beneath
the cloth.
“So long, Mr. Nobody, and no maga-
zine stories and no fun and no TV, no
celebrity, no games, no excitement, no
hi es; now, get out of here, get out,
run belore I Kill you.”
He shoved Booth. Booth ran, fell,
picked himself up and lunged toward а
theater door, which, on the insta from
outside, was shaken, pounded, riven,
(continued from page 112)
Phipps was there, calling in the dark-
ness.
The other door," said Bayes.
He ted and Booth wheeled to
stumble in a new direction to stand
swayed by yet another door, putting one
hand out
“Wait,” said Bayes.
He walked across the theater and,
when he reached Booth, raised his fa
hand up and hit Booth once, hard, a
slapping strike across the face. Sweat flew
їп à rain upon the
“I just had to do that,” said Bayes.
“Just once.”
He looked at his hand, then turned to
open the door.
They both looked out into a world of
night and cool stars and no mob.
Booth pulled back, his great dark liq-
uid eyes the eyes of an eternally wound-
ed and ild, with the look of
the seltshot deer that would go on
wounding, being shot by itself forever
jd Bayes.
rted. The door slammed shut.
yes stared at
that shuddering but remote door. Phipps
But Phipps would have to wait. Now...
The theater seemed as yast and empty
as the field of Gettysburg in the late
п the crowd gone home and the sun
set. Where the crowd had been and
no more, where the father had lifted the
boy high on his shoulders and where the
boy had spoken and said the words, but
the words now, also, доп
On the stage, i
reached out. H
coln’s shoulder.
And what he had come to find he
found. What he needed to do he did.
For tears were running down his face.
He wept. Sobs choked his mouth. He
could not stop them. They would not
E
ter a long moment, he
fingers brushed Li
Mr. Lincoln was dead. Mr. Lincoln
was dead!
And he had let hi
murderer go.
^I don't know about you, but for me, it makes it just
a little bit easier to know that there is someone
who cares about guys like us.”
241
PLAYBOY
242 litical vi
PARAMILITARY RIGHT
chief of police reports that the FBI knew
of the conspiracy in a and alerted
local officials.
Most such Minuteman plots have so
far been aborted—or so it seems. As one
Minuteman activist in Pennsylvania told
ure, some of the guys get
That's all in the game. But there
are a lot of bombings—and murders—i
is country that never get solved; and
after the first day, you never read any-
thing about it in the papers. We're not
happy about all these convictions, but it’s
still just the visible tip of the iccbe
In response to the burgeoning of Min-
iolence—reported and unre-
latures of New York and
California, two states that rank high in
Minuteman activity. have alrcady passed
legislation outlawing all pa
caugl
eman
New York Attorney Gencral Louis J.
Lefkowitz ted an intensive
to Minuteman activities in the state at
the request of Governor Rockefeller. In
his report to the governor, which galv;
nized the legislature into action. Lefko-
witz charged that his olhce's ten-month
probe had disclosed “shocking evidence
of violence and potential guerrilla war-
re” by Minutemen activists in 33 coun-
es: for one thing. Minutemen had told
ors they would not hesitate
“Communist sympa
as Earl Warren, Hubert Hum-
thizers”
phrey and Nelson Rockeleller. Lefkow
warned that the Minutem
, reading, thinking and
bombs and violence . . . actively prepar-
ing for a private war" New York State
Minutemen were not dismayed at being
outlawed. "This won't stop us,” one
Long Island Minuteman assured a re-
"We've always been underground;
we'll just burrow a little deeper now.
California proscribed the organization
the spring of 1965, after an Rl-page
vestigative report by Attorney General
"Thomas С. Lynch characterized the Min-
шешеп as а group “led by men who
have publicly stated: ‘When ou
tutional Government. is threatened, we
are morally justified
lence to discourage Communists
their fellow travelers’ Notice is
served that
Minuteman leadership as to what consti-
tutes а threat to our Government and
action the Minutemen will take to
counter such a thr
п were "train-
g guns,
and
thus
the decision rests with the
wi
That presents the
fantastic situation of a private citizen
raising a private mili force to accom-
plish by violence whatever objective the
citizen decides in his judgment is best
for the country. Such a military force is
improperly labeled guerrilla; the more
precise term is insurgent.
Other states, alarmed by i
creasing po-
tiated inves
(continued from page 146)
tigations of раг:
ad а number
strongly urged
ol Congressme
Federal probe. of the
tors have not escaped the wrath—
r only verbal—of the p litarists.
asey Representative Charles Joel-
ed a probe
ics, he was deluged
by thousands of letters accusing him not
only of bad judgment and nice but
of insanity and treason. From Cincinnati
сате one billet-doux indicting Joclon
for being
ymous letter from Colorado told him
simply: “We'll get you, Laddy Boy."
Perhaps because of, rather than despite
such threats, Congressional pressure for
Federal crackdown on the Minutemen
continued, with some effect. The
FBI and the Treasury Department have
stepped up their eflorts to infiltrate the
group and nip its lethal plots. Local,
ity and state police, who initially treated
the Minutemen as а bad joke, have also
increasingly concerned—as. dem-
onstrated by the spiraling arrest rate of
Minutemen for terrorist
al possession of weapons. The latter
charge constitutes the | Minutemen’s
Achilles hee! Пу Peyson. an ex-
Marine, was convicted of illegal. posses-
sion of an automatic weapon in 1966;
Rich Lauchh, Jr, a founding mem-
ber of the Minutemen, is now serving a
п a Federal penitentiary for at-
ng to sell 100 submachine guns,
ber machine guns, mortars, a
75-mm recoilless rifle and small arms to
Federal investigators posing as represen
atives of a Latin-American government;
nd а host of lesser Minutemen have also
allen victim to the Federal Firearms
Act
But despite the surveillance of Feder-
al, stare and local police, the Minute-
ional cflectiveness has not
Agents and
land the Treasury
we succeeded in penetrat-
emen cadres, but the
structured. according to
the пуз “cell” system.
Members of one unit do not know the
identity of any other Minutemen, even
though they might live hallway down the
block; hydralike, the group is thus able
to survive the lopping off of one or more
units. M emen аге also exhaus-
tively trained in the techniques of clandes.
tine intelligence and security. According
to the California attorney general's re-
"The Mineman org: i
term
under-
ground network, and its routine opera
tions in these times of peace are conducted
along the lines of a tra
for the hostilities to come. Each member
ssigned a number that becomes his
cation in all communications; he
amed about the use of the telephone
in contacting headquarters; he is ad-
vised in the use of mail drops; he is
warned to use two envelopes in or
tion correspondence and to place
opaque material between the inner and
ower envelopes, 10 prevent the letter
from being read by means of infrared
and he is instructed to employ
gems and devices
s security measures.” Secrecy, for the
Minuteman, is а way of life—to such
extent that even the national leadersh:
does not know the membership figures.
“I don't сусп know the members
names,” says DePugh.
Tiis сай Deja peudonym. Ù live nol Way
of knowing exactly how many members
we have, except that each group is sup-
posed to have a minimum of five and а
maximum of fifteen. So I strike an aver-
age of eight.” DePugh's most recent esti-
mate: 25.000 “hard-core” members, fully
trained and armed, plus approximately
65,000 supporters and recruits undergoing
instruction and indoctrination. “Only a
relatively small percentage of thoe will
ever become ‘secure’ members and be
corporated into the unit chain of com-
mand," DcPugh explains. "We make a
real effort to weed out all the weak links
п advance: we're looking for quality, not
quantity; one min ready to give his life
is worth fifty who'll crack when the heat
is on. Thats why I reject three out of
every four membership applica
very outset.” Other estimates rang
an improbable low of 500 (from J. Ed
Hoover, who derides the group às а “pa-
per organization,” despite the attention
it receives from his agents) to an equally
improba able high of 100.000 (by a fervent
Kansas City. Most
othcials апа informed
vc the organization has
between 5000 and 10,000
members and 30.000 to 40.000 supporters,
but the “activist” percentage remains in
doubt.
Whatever their actual number, there is
no doubt that the Minutemen have be-
come a potent force on the ultraright.
And there is no doubt that the founder
and national coordinator has traveled a
long way since the bucolic days when he
peddled vet ary medicines to Midwest
mers. Robert Bolivar DePugh wis
born 45 years ago in Independence, Mis-
souri, where his father served ший re-
cently as a deputy sheriff, (The elder
DePugh. his 70s. is a fervent
supporter of his son's political activities
nd a charter member of the Minutemen.)
now in
m Robert attended the University of
Missouri for three semesters and then
enlisted in the Army in 1942, serving as
а radar operator
until he was discharged
'ecommendati.
п the Signal Corps
1914 on the
a of a panel of medical
“We may already be too late, Mr. Parker."
—
pma
i
ML |
MUNERA
S
Ш
T
T
pm
243
PLAYBOY
244
examiners. who diagnosed him as suffer-
ing from a "psychoneurosis, mixed type.
severe, manifested by anxiety and depres-
sive features and schizoid personality
It was during his stint in the Service
politics w
‚ who
hold allegiance to th
I was really quite naive politically in
those days." he recalls. "I knew ther
an unbridgeable gulf between. our
ns, but | didnt suspect they
Communists or at the very least Comn
nistoriented, as I can now sec in retro-
spect was the case. It was just a kind of
visceral reaction; 1 knew in my guts that
these people weren't loyal Americans.
fier leaving the Service, DePugh r
turned to college,
the University of Colorado and Topeka's
Washburn University—all in rapid. suc-
ssion, He was а bright student but bad
silver attention span and didn't
ny one school long enough to
rn a degree. He was particularly inter
ested in chemisuy and genetics, however,
and during his days at Kansas State or
nized "The Society for the Advance.
emt ol Canine Genetics.” which in its
dissolution several years later had 2000
dog-breeding members across the country
and was afliliated with the International
Genetics Society.
In 1951, DePugh founded the Biolab
Corporation in Independence, a pharm:
ceutical supply house specializing in vit
min supplements for dog-food products:
it foundered in 195 ces of
opinion” among the stockholders, and
DePugh worked for а dog-food company
until 1959, when he revi
ipany headquarters to its pre
ent site in Norborne, Missouri. Within
а year, Biolib was a thriving venture,
producing dozens of veterinary-medicine
products and worth over $230,000, AU 35,
DePugh was Norborne's leading citizen
d à prototype small-town America suc
cess story. With a prosperous business.
devoted wife and six handsome childr
he appeared to have everything
wanted. But DePugh was
satisfied.
Until the late Fifties,” he remembers,
“L was so preoccupied with gening an
education and earn ng that 1
didn't have any opportunity to think
seriously about politis and fore’
lair. И way only after Biolab became
ı success and I found myself with some
leisure time on my hands that. I began to
really think а
heading—and I didn't like what I saw. I
began to study anti:
ture and, suddenly, I grasped the phe-
sucess of the international
Communist conspiracy. Within 50 years
aher the Rusian Revolution, it con-
һе
estless and dis
cl was
bout the wity the мо
commu
nomenal
tolled one third of the carth’s land sur-
е and population. I realized that i
this kept up. my children—or at the most
optimistic estimate, my grandchildren—
would be living under the Marxist boot.
1 decided that it was my duty to do som
thing about it. and stop sitting back on
my butt preoccupied with how much
more money | was going to make this
year over last."
DePugh
minded Пепа began discussing the sor
ry state of the world at weekly political
Birch Society. But by the beginning of
1960 disillusionment had set in and the
came to the reluctant conclusion that the
Birehers were “all talk and no action
d could. never be politically efective.
he idea of the Minutemen first came to
DePugh during а duckhunring expedi.
tion оп the shore of an isolated Missouri
lake with nine of his friends
in June 1960, at the height of the U-2
‹ As they crouched їп a muddy
duckblind, one of the party expressed
apprehension over the international situ-
ation and another jokingly reassured
him, “Well. if the Russians invade us. we
can always come up here and fight on as
i па." "There's no record of
ah's crying Eureka. but he began
discussing the idea seriously, and ducks
were soon Гог ot 10 talking
about how bad off the country would be
in case of invasion." he recalls, "and how
а group such as ours could become а
suenilla band, We were just talking at
first, kicking it around. But somehow the
idea caught on.”
One of the sportsmen, a veteran of the
U. S. Army Special Forces, dusted off his
instruction manuals and the group began
conducting twice-weekly se in
orilla warfare, with each inc as
Signed a particular feld of political
study and instrucied to prepare а posi
tion paper on its rekitionship 10 the
establishment of an "extralegal^ para-
military opposition to the awaited leftist
take-over of the nation. Alter several
months of study and research, DePugh
synthesized the results into the first
Minuteman manifesto. which postulated
cight key conclusions їп terms oddly
evocative of the current. revolutionary
jargon of the ultraleft:
1. Our diplomatic war against com-
munism has already been lost by
bunglers or traitors within our
own Government.
‘This diplomatic war has bee
continues to be lost by appointed
Government officials beyond the
reach of public opinion.
cannot win a diplomat
ast communism abroad until
we first establish a genuinely pro-
American Government at home
\ pro-American Government can
по longer be established by nor-
mat political means.
and
5. The minority-vote blocs, con-
trolled labor unions and corrupt
political machines, so completely
monopolize the American polit-
ical scene that there is no chance
for the average American citize
10 regain. control. of. his destiny
at the ballot box.
Any further effort, time or money
spent in trying to save our coun-
пу by political means would be
wasted.
The leaders of most other con-
servittive org; ons р
agree that it ically i
sible to elect conservative Gov-
ernment.
8. We condude that the American
people are moving inexorably to-
ward a time of total control and
frusrarion such as must have
been felt by the people of Bu
рем and East Germany when
they finally staged their suicidal
revolts. Therefore, the objectives
of the Minutemen are to abam-
don wasteful, useless efforts and
begin immediately to prepare
for the day when Americans will
fight in the streets for
ir liberty. We
once ag;
their |
feel there is overwhelming evi-
dence to prove that this day must
come.
es and th
At last. DePugh
I his rightthinking
ds were convinced. the only. elfec-
tive defense against “the Communist
menace” had been found: They would
fight fire with fire, In justification of his
decision to launch. the Minutemen, he
cites the 1960 Annual Report of idu
House Committee on. Un-American Ac
tivities, which concluded:
Events of the past year have pro-
vided convincing evidence that the
American. people cannot rely com-
pletely on. this. country's. Armed
Forces to protect themselves
Communist domination
This is not becuse
our
forces lack the power or the wil
def
but.
d th (ny uher
we the nature of the attacks be
made on the United States by its
major and only sig ny
are so designed as to render conven-
tional military forces as inellectiye
as possible for defense purposes.
cou
From the outset. DePugh ма
ed by the odds against him.
that the road
азу,” he
Edmund Burkes dictum that “The
only thing necessary for die triumph. of
evil is for good men to do nothing.” We
were pre]
freedom. our very lives on the I
we have.”
DePugh’s n
were transmog
s undaunt-
We knew
to be
red to put our businesses, ow
пе—азмі
duck
ight
hunters
nto the
e fellow
ed over
vive the insult of being
ina jelly jar. But we think
agree it's appropriate to ser
Tuborg ш our Viking-inspi
ors.
They are made of Iroqi
china. They come in Copen
gen blue or bone white.
They're, just like our be
sturdy, but quite civilized. y
ina Company, Box 626
, New York 14902
PLAYBOY
246
“Don't be a spoilsport, Chester. How can І go to
a spouse-swapping party without you?!”
National Coordinating Council of the
fledgling Minutemen of America, and
DePugh appointed himself national co-
ordinator. АЙ were rank amateurs at
political organization amd. at first. the
p's progress was h Dur own
nuveté was our biggest obstacle." De
Pugh remembers, “None of us had any
background in even local politics; 1 was
a chemist, another founder was a vereri-
nar d the rest were realest
agents, nce men and шоме
We would have had difficulty genin
new Kiwanis post off the ground. much
les organizing am elective dandestine
resistance movement,
As a result of their political inexperi-
ence, few on the ultravight fringe had.
heard of the Minutemen а y
its formation, and those who h:
sed the group as an ineffectual
cabal of crackpots issuing grandiose
pronunciamentos on guerilla warfare
from the padded comfon of their arm.
chairs. But slowly, а hard core of disci-
plined activists be to
DePugh: disgruntled anti-Semites chafing
at the Joh ch Society's *
tion om Jews. tigger happy
Nazis disgusted with George Lincoln
Rockwell's "do-nothing" approach and
disillusioned dropouts from “responsible
ош such as the Reverend Billy
Hargis Christian Crusade, Surrounded
by this handful of faithful apostles. the
paramilitary messiah spread his nets on
conse
ers. The catch. though
was promising. “We
ady to kill or be killed for
DePugh savs of the lean
т. "and we found them." De-
Pugh's life now had new direction and
purpose: һе had discovered the road for
which he'd searched and he was prepared
to travel it to the end.
Tris not an easy task for an outsider 10
ap that road, for DePugh had avoided
nent on the ultimate destina
rmed
sm
needed men г
their country
carly ye
E
and aspirations
nutemen, as set forth
Pugh's voluminous propa
simple: to prepare for
" or Uprising that
by an underground
Communist. in-
n be resisted
paramilitary
Minuteman leaders daim private:
at their aim is not to
selflefense" civilian au
ries to aid the Armed Forces in a n.
tional emergency but to overthrow and
replace tfe. United Stites Government
through insurrection: and the Minut
men confidently predict that the day
pproaching when they will be able to
come out of hiding and forcibly seize the
re wracked by
icial violence and economic. chaos, In
the ensuing struggle. Minutemen leaders
say they ате quite prepared to utilize all
the tools of subversion—sabota E i
acks—not
16 of power in a n
lion
nst (n own Government, which
consider riddled with card-carrying
nd fellow t
г poring over hundreds of pages
of Minuteman literature —including De-
Pugh's Blueprint for Victory. the
movement's Mein Kamp{—this reporter
the
avelers.
realized that little could be learned of
the о tegy or uhi-
mate a ganda and
even less through newspaper accounts of
ureman activity, which
le more than a running
ests and convictions,
skein of the
ount 10
(count. of
el the
cover how se menace
constitutes—as well as to find out what
dual Minutemen е1
phoned DePugh at Independ-
ence, Missouri (national headquarters of
his Patriotic Party), and requested ап
interview. Td been warned by several
journalists that as DePugh’s legal prob-
lems multiplied he had grow
chary of the press, which he
a "handmaiden of the Communist
spiracy.” But D was greeted with unex
pected cordiality n tied up for the
next five days, but ГЇЇ sce you
nd give you as much time as you need.”
he promised. “No later, though. After that
TI be—tied up."
In the interim, he suggested 1 speak to
Roy Frankhouser, Jr., in Reading. Pe
sylva nd Dragon of the Pennsylva-
nia Ku Klux K nal politics
coordinator of the Minutemen. He gave
me Frankhouscr's number a oll. T
reached Frankhouser that evening.
fter some initial sparring
convince him that I had no ideologi
ax to grind. We arranged to
ighis later; one of his men would pick
me up at Readings airport and drive
me to an un ied destination where
Frankhouser would be waiting. It sound-
ed mildly melodramatic, but 1 agreed.
We've got some that
1 Frankhouser
e lucky. we mi
5
con-
and regi
two
for
y ht even let you
in on it.
The Reading trip wasn't one I would
easily forget, I was met at the airport by
a smalleved man who identihed himself
as "Roger" Half an hour Imer aft
cars twice, we rendezvoused
pkhouser and hi le. Bob
Imperial Nighthawk of the
in the darkened parking lot
of a Pennsylvania roadhouse. As Frank-
houser and Richland. jackknifed into the
k scat beside me, Roger was restive
and impatient.
“You're twenty m
SU he said,
in а hoarse whisper Fd at first thought
was an
his normal speaking voice. “They're ex-
pecting us at cle
"There was а wreck down the road.”
ion ned was
said Richland. “They 1 some girl
aid out on the highway with her lace
bashed in. Her nose must have been
smashed all the way back into her skull;
the whole top of her head looked like
pink jelly." He was visibly upset. A well
groomed, lanky man in his late 30s, he
sat hunched over, tugging nervously at
the knot of his regimental-stripe tie—
I wondered how his Ivy League t
survived the change to Klan rega
and wiping a crumpled silk handkerchief
back and forth under his chin. “It was
terrible. They'll never her looks,
and she must have been а pretty girl,
too. White.” he added,
Obviously discomfited by his licuten-
ant’s squeamishness, Frankhouser reached
save
door shut and told
over to slam the c
Roger to get going. “We'll have to kill
lots of young girls belore this fight is
over" he grunted. "Black and white.”
ї young man of 29 with
pencil-thin
Articulate
and sophisticated, he was а type more
likely to be found debating Marcuse in
campus New Left salons than regaling
red-necks in the satin sheets of a К. К. К.
Grand Dragon.
Richland didn't reply апа Roger
pulled the car out onto the highway lead-
It was an overcast, bit-
nd we
He was a sli
dosecropped black |
mustache and one good сус
ir. а
ing to Pottsville
terly cold night in late February
headed for а
Minuteman man
were
1 asyerunexplained
in the Appalach
ian Mountains. I was to be the first jour-
iver
ch an “action
as opposed to standard training
drills, and Frankhouser cautioned me to
stay in the background.
me of the guys didn't want you
along,” he explained, “and they're liable
to be a little edgy.” He smiled and
added: “Some of them think it might be
а good idea if you didn't come back. It's
pretty wild country up there and you
can hide a lot of things—even nosy
reporters,”
His litle joke over. he slapped my
shoulder with bonhom Don't worry,”
he said heartily. “We don't mind publici-
ty this time.”
nalist included on
mission,”
As Rogers mud-spattered gray Ford
pulled into the snowy foothills, Frank-
houser finally explained the purpose of
the mission: “We've round
bunker up there we use for sioring heavy
arms and a printing press. We just found
out yesterday that some fink in another
unit tipped off the FBI, so we've been
deaning everything out of the place be.
fore they move in.” He lit a cigarette
and chuckled expansively. "Tonight we
blow the place up."
By now we had left the main highway
and were careening precipitously up the
mountainside. The Imperial Nighthawk,
ot an und
still shaken by his brush with nonide-
ological violence, stared out the sleet
laced window, but Frankhouser waxed
loquacious, studiously disregarding the
looks Roger occasionally
darted over one shoulder
“We've got hundreds of bunkers like
this all over the country,” he boasted,
“all of them packed with machine guns,
mortars and automatic weapons—and
that’s in addition to the caches of arms
we wrap in plastic and bury under
ground. Our men do twenty-fourhour
cautionary
guard duty in shifts over each bunker to
ensure security. When D day comes, we
won't be in the streets with popguns.”
“When will D day come?” I asked.
Frankhouser shrugged. "Who knows?"
he replied. “But one thing is certain:
For the first time since Hucy Long, the
stage is set for the rise of an American
brand of fascism. Not that right-wingers
can take any credit for it. The race riots
have work for the black
nationalists our biggest recruiting
ents; 1 wish there were a hundred
done our us;
arc
Stokely Carmichaels and Rap Browns,
After each Watts, each Detroit, we ¢
thousands of new backlash m.
and best of all, a big slice of them arc
disgruntled cops and National Guards
men. Multiply those figures in light of
what's going to happen in the big cities
over the next three or four
and you've really got the makings of a
revolutionary Under those
mbers—
summers
situation.
S. es
such a splash,
that now we're making a spray.
All over America, men are splashing on Nine Flags.
It'sa hit,
So now we're coming out with Nine Fisgs Aerosol.
It's a bomb.
We've taken the same nine exotic fragrances.
With essences imported from the same nine exciting countrie:
To make the зате nine great shaving colognes.
Convenient and handsome, they'll go anywhere in
the home. Unbreakable and gpiliproof,
they'll go anywhere In the world.
At just $3.50 each, no man should be without a country.
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247
248
cs. anything and everyth
is possible—including a right-wing tak
over.
involved in
lave Minutemen bes
inciting the i
"You т
heat things up?” He smiled. "Not vet.
ord to just stand
ès and pick up the
heritors of social
ht say. And the
ne holds true for the black national-
ists: after cach bloody rior they get a lot
of uncommitted niggers going over to
their side. It's sort of a symbiotic situa-
tion. Let them shoot the Jews on their
list, we'll shoot the Jews on ours, and
then we can shoot cach other
The idea amused him; he waved his
hand magnanimously when Richland
gestured suspiciously at the whirring
таре recorder balanced on my lap. “It's
all right. Let him print what he wants to.
1 don't have anything to hide—at least.
not anything I'd tell hin
Т asked Frankhouser how the Minute-
men planned to accomplish their seizure
of power.
"Look at Germany and Taly,” he said.
“When the people see their society dis-
solving into chaos, when they're thr
ened on every side by riots and violence
and economic convulsion, they'll turn to
fore tough enough and ruthless
“Take... good .. .care. . Of .. . yourself, .. you.
ic TAE Racin
belong ... lo
enough to impose order. That's what
nost people rcally want, vou know—or-
der, Not abstractions like freedom and
ity and justice. Thats all r
the fat times, but when the pinch is on,
they want their property and their lives
proveaed and thev don't give a damn
how it's done or who does it. That's why
мете working and organizing now—not
10 take over tomorrow or the nest day,
which would posible, bat to be
ready when the time comes. and even a
small. tight-knit and welltrsined nucle
of men can play s role all our of
proportion to its numbers. It only takes
one wolf to terrorize а herd of sheep,
you know. Cigarette?
I declined. “The first thing we've got
to do,” he continued, “is dissociate
ourselves from old-fogy conservatives
е the John Birch Society. We've got
to develop l revoluti pr
gram that will appeal ıo the working-
eq ıt for
be i
es—bread-and-butier. issues
We've got to convince the worker that
he’s being economically oppressed by the
powers-that-be and only we can save him,
It's the carrot and the stick. in a sense;
the niggers and the fear they breed arc
the stick. and the carrot is the pr
not only the
them but all the economic. advan
we can deliver. We're reall
nise of
v from
ges
entering а
ssurance of safer
fantastically exciting age— ре of
cc war, where the color of your ski
is vour uniform."
Roger interrupted to tell us we were
within a half mile of our destination,
and to speak softly. He had switched the
headlights off, and we now inched slong
at less th: n miles an hour. F
houser, п his vision of the future,
continued in muted tones.
"Hitler had the Jews; we've
niggers. We have to put our main stress
on the nigger question, of course, be-
cause that's what preoccupics the mi
—but мете not forgetting the Jew. If
the Jews knew what coming—
believe me, it's coming as surely as the
dawn—they'd realize that what's going to
happen in America will make N
Well build better gas d
more of them, and this time there won't
be any refugees. The average American
has only a thin vencer of civilization
separating him from the you
know—lar less of a veneer than the
Germans had. When tha's stripped
way and he really gocs wild, w i
thing really explodes, there'll be а rope
hanging over the lamppost for every Jew
ieser in America. Је
their shoes! But
Napoleon said about
revolution:
—you can't make an omelet
breaking eggs.”
He paused and seemed to brood for a
few seconds,
“OF couse, there are some good Jews,
you know. Jews like Dan Burros, who
was а friend of mine. Yeah, print that
some of my best friends are Jews. Dan
Burros one ol the most patriotic,
dedicated Americans you'll ever meet in
your life.
Frankhouser fell silent. Burros was a
fanatic American Nazi who served as
Rockwell's lieutenant for years, then re-
zine called
lan leader.
s house
issue of
‘exposed his
signed 962 to edit a maga
Kill! and. finally be
He had rushed into F
in October 1965 br
The New York Times tha
Jewish ancestry. snatched a loaded pistol
from the wall and blown his brains out.
Frankhouser's reverie was interrupted
as the car came to а stop. After turning
off the engine. Roger motioned the three
of us to remain in our seats while he
got out, holding what looked li
pair of cistinets, Two loud,
itched clicks resounded through the
thickly forested mountain slopes and
том instantly from up
both
were echoed a
the road. I didn't see the (wo men
dressed ino plaid hunting jackets
matching caps, until they were with
five feet of us. Both were young, w
healthy outdoor faces, and both cradled
12-gauge shotguns under their arms. They
said noth but Roger nodded to
g
fay,
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249
PLAYBOY
to us. We climbed out
ing in
them, and the
nd sood beside the car, shiv
the still, moonless night.
is is him," said Roger, jerking à
thumb in my direction. "He's got a tape
dor nt to say
w
recorder, so if you
hing, don’
One of the men didn't acknowledge
my presence, but his companion, a
tanned sis-Iooter in his early 20s, walked
forward and pumped my hand vigorous-
iroducing himself as Tom Jordan.
You just write the truth about us,
mister, that’s all, and we'll be real good
His smile was warm and open,
his eyes empty. “We just hate to make
enemies.
He turned and motioned us to follow
him off the road and into the tangled
derbrush. The snow was several
inches deep and the going was dificul,
Hash!
nutes,
doubly so since no oi
We walked for most
of the time in what appeared to be spirals
—evidently to ensure that 1 would never
be able to retrace our steps—and finally
halted in a small clearing sentried bv
used
about 20
snow-laden pines. Roger clacked his
noisemaker again: this time four men
eralized out of the shadows, all
identi ting outfits, all
limped up to the group а
ly for a mo
le.
There were no introductions this time.
He dug one booted foot into the ground
and sid, “Here it is. We've got every-
g out but the rockets. You
look before we set the fuse.
I glanced down, but could see пош
frozen. carth. Rog
d spoke quiet-
nent, then called me to his
bui
b ached
pried his fingers imo the ground and
pulled up a dirt-covered trap door. А
thieefoot square of light glowed at my
fee
over,
The Feds could be standing on it
and they'd never guess it was there,” he
s close to good humor as 1 ever
saw him. “Go down and sce for yourself.”
1 dimbed with dilliculty about 12
feet down а wooden li nd
narrow tunnel leading into а room ap-
proximately 22 feet long and 18 feet
wide. The air was dank, and light Nick-
cred from three kerosene lamps hanging
on the rooted dirt walls, The bunker
was equipped with electric light fixtures,
but tlic generator, also underground, had
been detonated е here were two
bunks built into a wall a number of
empty rille racks and several lethal-
looking red-finned rockets, each four feet
long. reclining on roughhewn pine
shelves.
Roger
Ader nto a
clambered down behind me,
250 followed by Frankhouser and the Impe-
and the others
ighthawk. Jorda
ed outside,
rockets arc
Roger told me, pick
right hand
nge of th
inching tube and carry one hell of a
pay load. You could sit on a roof in New
York and lob one of these on Newark
and wipe out half a city block with
wiser. It took us two years of
| a lot of close calls
them eperatio
now we're stockpiling them all
the country. Theyre light, portable
deadly—the ideal weapon for our kind
of resistance movement.”
Frankhouser called my attention to
small makeshift laboratory built into t
back wall. “This is the chemical closet,
he said, pointing to a jumble of Bunsen
burners beakers and empty test tubes.
“Every bunker is equipped with one, no
maner how rudimentary. W ly use
it for making nitroglycerin and nito-
glycol."
I asked if that wasn’t pretty vola
erial to play around with
Khouser appeared offended.
“We're not amateurs, you
Ever nit goes through
ig in the manufacture of
nitroglycerin. H you've got the right
chemicals amd the right measurements,
anybody with a [air degree of intelligence
lide beauties,”
his
c
ile
nd
know.
this
man in
1 over to а hall-empty steel
rifled through the draw
cted a sheaf of papers.
hese are a few of our confidential
" ls." he said, "but it won't
harm for you to take a look.” He
handed me a three-page mimeographed
phler tied “Nitroglycerin.” U be-
ically, the produ
ycerin involves the gradual addi
glycerol 10 а mixture of nitric
phuric acids, followed by sep:
the nitroglycerin from the waste products.
The following directions will serve for
the laboratory preparation of NG in small
amounts.” It concluded with the admon
tion 10 be careful in handling the solu
jon of n
from 30 to 60 t
than in dyn
Roger slumped on one bunk i
ent boredom, but F
г my shoulder. ca aing
other points of interest in Ше Minute-
nes more explosive power
te form.”
ı ordnance manuals.
“That one is about Molotov cock-
tails." the crudest com-
се , but
пе them on that
useful
They're sill damn
sucer fighting or in terror роті
aded me a bookler
the student that “The best setup for
g ‘Molotov cocktails’ is as follows:
ng the small disposable-type beer bot-
tles, filled with a homen
ture of two-thirds and one-third
Duz, fill the boules and cap them with
ап inexpensive bottle capper available a
res. Tape a rey
de
Je napalm mix-
Frankhouser laughed as I finished
reading it aloud. “Wi
up joint training sessions with the ni
gers, shouldn't we? A community of com-
mon interest, and all that shit.’
1 asked him what else was manufac
ured i “
“You'd be surprised
of killers you сап produce
tively unsophisticated equipmi
replied, referring me again to the M
wreman manual, where novitiates were
ructéd that “A good cheap explosive
n be made by distilling iodine crystals
When kept in ammonia. th
stable, but when
highly explosive. . .
while dry is pe
placed i
should really set
те very
become
Purc sodium me
dried o
пе gas (or nerve gus) is obtained
when small slivers of [a common com-
mercial plastic] are inserted i
. The results are
almost
lw
taken immedi
I asked Fı if these sorts of
weapons had been used by Minutei
in the terrorist attacks
that have plagued c
oups in recent years.
He grinned and said, "Let's just say
we're not doing all this for our own
amusement,”
Roger gl is watch and told
us the fuses were ready. As we tn
ankhouser gestured to
rel at the foot of one bunk, from wh
two wires extended out the tunnel and
up the ladder
“That's filled with hydrogen gas.” he
explained. “We use the wires to spark it
off clectrically, This whole place will
disappear without a trace. And the noise
of the explosion is a damn sight less
than dynamite, too; you won
to hear it more than a half mile
Lugging the last of their cached wes
ons, the three Minutemen led the way up
the ladder. E was the last to so.
houser turned to look back over his
shoulder at me as he reached the top
rung.
еп
id bombing:
1 rights and peace
need
go,
be able
АП we'd have to do is slam this
trap door shut and leave you here to g
up with the bunker" He smiled boy
hly. "Unless
where to look,
body in a thou
Forcing а smile, I climbed out into
somebody knew just
they'd never find. your
"Oh, sure, I've thought of marriage, but my career comes first."
251
252
icy might air. Roger led us back to
edge of the clearing, stopping on the
tch а cigarette from
the Imperial Nighthawk's mouth and
grind it out under his heel. Jordan w
crouched over the wires that snaked out
of the bunkers mouth. He looked up
at Roger, waited for his nod, and then
touched the two wires together. There
was a soft muffled bump and the carth
in the clearing rippled for a few seconds
and then ebbed to its familiar contour
In the silence that followed, three of the
men patted down the disturbed ground
ith spades while Jordan сш off the
wires with a pair of shears where they
extended from the earth.
Frankhouser, the Impe
and I turned to follow Roger
һе car.
^A shame that place was compro-
Frankhouser murmured аз we
d through the snow, “but we've
got plenty more."
As Left the car. back at my downtow
hotel, Frankhouser told те, "What
you've seen tonight may not seem too
impressive in a military sense. But re-
member, it only takes one match to
ignite a tinderbox.” With a sure flair for
melodrama, he lit a cigarette and flicked
the match into the gutter. Roger didn't
good night
Five days later, I took a plane for
wi
ial Nighthawk
k to
“As
Kansas City. When I checked in at the
rport motel, DePugh was waiting for
aged. Tall and heavyset. he
was dressed casually in kha ad
a red wool pullover. His jet-black hair
was receding, and he sported a luxuriant
beard, “for my home town's centennial
celebration” —an explanation 1 had no
reason to doubt at the time, although I
Tater discovered there w erent and
practical DePugh's
features were handsome uwboned
fashion. but his skin was unusually pale
п the muted light of the motel coffee
shop where we had an early lunch before
driving to his office in Norborne. His
dark eyes were deepset and commanding,
with a di ing habit of dancing
around and beyond mine as he spoke
and then suddenly fixing on me with a
baleful stare to punctuate а point. In the
ime I spent with him, DePugh was
friendly and accommoda
but Т never felt completely сото!
under that gaze.
Sipping a lemonade—he neither drinks
nor smokes, but sucks constantly on
medicated throat lozenges—DePugh went
out of his way to put me at case.
“From what the pres prints about
ly expected me to be
h a Thompson sub-
nc gun," he said, smi “But
Im glad you and I want you to
me а
ac
morc reason.
ably
à
e look back over the course of four
years, we realize that the university is a 1
entity—dnever stagnant, fore
ung, growing
er in transition 2:
be my guest while you're here, There's a
lot 1 have to say, and not much time to
say it
At the time, 1 missed the significance
of that lust remark, and merely won-
dered how he had earned his reputation
for taciturn hostility to the press.
DePugh ¢ ао Norborne in
on, crammed with
drove
nd cartons
stamped with the name of his veterinary-
medicine firm. He appeared preoccupied
on the ride and chatted desultorily
about his impending four-year sentence
for violation of the Federal ns
Act, ами me that the cache of ma-
chine guns discovered on his property
by Feder мей there as
part of ncup." I asked
him if he would peacefully surrender to
serve his sentence when and if his ap-
vals to the h courts were exhaust-
ed. “TI cross that bridge when I come
to it.” he replied.
DePugh’s spirits seemed. to lighten
n we left Highway 10 and pulled
into Norborne, a dusty farm community
of 950 people, most of whom seem not
to have decided whether their celebrated
neighbor has put the town on the map
or blackened its name with notoriety.
The Biolab Corporation, a seedy seve
room, one-story white stucco i
on Main Street, doubles as M
headquarters, and the front. room was
piled high with literature and back cop-
ies of the organization's house organ,
On Target. The sickly sweet smell of
i A preparation clung heavily in
k, veterinary med
ag mixed in two huge
s by whitesmocked lab technicians.
DePugh introduced me to his wife, a
small appledumpling woman with a
t smile amd haggard eyes, and to
ughter. Christi реп red-
ected high
and was now
w
his
head who had recently been cl
school homecoming, quee:
addressing envelopes at an overflowing
desk. He then ushered me into his private
office, a windowless room lined with floor-
to-cciling bookshelves. DePugh slumped
into the leather swivel chair behind his
desk—ornamented with an antiaircraft
shell and lincred with clips of 30-caliber
ammunition and unopened letters—and
shouted for coflee, which was served us
by a teenager with a soraggly beard whom
he proudly introduced as a Minuteman
iufilirator in the national headquarters
of the leftist W. E. B, DuBois Clubs.
As we sipped our coffee, I glanced at
some of the books on his shelves: Texts
on guerrilla warlare by Ché Guevara,
General Giap, Mao Tsetung and Gen-
eral Grivas of the Cypriot resistance
movement adjoined Н. C. Lea's three-
volume occult classic Materials Toward
a History of Witchcraft, the Dep: tment
of State's fourvolume Documents of
German Foreign Policy, 1915-1915, As-
sault Battle Drill by Major General J
DNE QUART
IMPORTED AND BOTTLED BY HEUBLEIN INC.
HARTFORD, CDNN. * MENLO PARK, CALIF
B6 PROOF. JOSE CUERVO TEQUILA. IMPORTED AND BOTTLED BY GHEUBLEIN, INC., HARTFORD, CONN.
Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got Cuervo in my tonic.
Cuervo is as light as vodka. Cuervo Poor vodka. Lucky Cuervo.
is the same proof as a lot of vodka. And lucky you, so press on. After
But Cuervo has a yummy taste. The — you'vehad a yummy, yummy Cuervo
law won't allow vodka to be yummy. in your tonic, you'll no doubt want a
yummy Bloody Mary, a yummy
Cuervo Martini, a yummy Cuervo
Sour, а yummy Cuervo Margarita,
etc. Go do it. It’s legal.
PLAYBOY
254
Fry, On War by Von Clausewitz and as-
sorted volumes of Kant. Nietzsche,
Schopenhauer, George Orwell and Boris
Pasternak. If nothing else, DePugh's
reading tastes were catholic.
He watched me cataloging his library
and then smiled indulgently. “If you're
looking for Mein Kampf. it’s noi there.”
he said. “I read and reread it when I
was a teenager. I could quote it to you
from memory.”
Vere vou impressed
"Fm a compulsive r
lot of things impress me.
I asked.
der,” he said, ^
As my tape recorder spun quietly on
the desk
between
y (ога
us, I toll рери
to the Appalachians
his “troops, sked how the
hes of arms they were stockpiling
cross the nation would ultimately be
used
"Those stockpiles are bei
for the time when the struggle reaches
the point of armed confrontation. In
the interim, we intend to continue our
campaign of overt political. propag
ad proselytizing.”
“Do you really believe а handful of
men with machine guns, mortars and
homemade bombs could ever overcome
the United States. Army, the National
Guard and local police forces?” 1 asked.
"First of all, well have a lot more
n a handful of men ready to fight
nda
when the time comes. Of course, we
could never overwhelm the Govern-
ments military power in conventional,
set-piece batt.es: but the whole purpose
of revolutionary guerrilla warfare is to
so terrorize and demoralize the state
ws that it'll collapse from iis own
I stresses and contradictions, €
по didn't conquer. Cuba mili at
the time Байма Hed into exile, the
government. forces still had overwhelm-
ing military superiority and could have
wiped out the rebels in а traditional
military batle—but Castro and Guevara
blended political persuasion and terror-
ism with guerr € so effectively
ih ed the state's morale
and to defend itself. Even
fter Phu. the French still
maintained. military supremacy in Indo-
china and could have fought on for years
the Vietminh: but Giap's bril
it use of insurgency tactics eroded the
French will to resist and they scuttled
nd ran. М the height of his elective:
ness on Cyprus, General Gri
one hundred fulltime terroriste—but by
selective ions and
nd dynamic use of psychological wa
e, he brought the British to thei
knees."
He steepled his fingers thoughtfully.
"The success of any guerrilla insurgency
is prelicued. оп two
among the population
as had only
terrorism:
sassi
the state
of those elements by even a tiny minority
pparatus. Ruthless exploitation
of insurgents
with
disposi
I listened, absorbed. Despite his fan
icism, and the patent absurdity of his
Weltanschauung. the man emanated а
disturbing aura of power and purpo:
wveled to Kansas City expec
counter -belt Robert Welch
untutored hick do
the tired nostr
leavened with a fillip of paramilitarism
to tiril'ate the lunatic fringe; instead, I
had fo n urbane, intelligent, even
mildly cynical political theorist who ap-
peared seriously до envisage the da
when his followers would seize power in
nation bled dry by foreign wars
t home by racial strife
п topple a government
the strongest. milit: ac its
“А key factor in the
in the crunch we could
count on support [rom sizable segments
of the Armed Forces and police; in fact,
if you break down Minute nber-
ship
m
to employment categories, you'll
find more cops tl ny other single
group."
"You
on as а
particularly effective method of terrori
ing the opposition,” I said. “Are the
Minutemen prepared to liquidate their
political enemies? Have they already be-
gun to do so"
DePugh seemed prepared for the
question. “You could hardly expect me
to tell vou if we'd removed anybody in
the past,” he said. "We don’t volunteer
that kind of information. In fact, up till
now the Minutemen have adhered to
what I call the principle of de
delay. The past eight years have been
used to marshal our strength, to tr
nd harden our cadres for the
when we'll be dealing in bullets inst
of pamphlets; any premature acion
such ats assassination could only give the
perfect excuse for cracking down
nd I've deliberately discouraged
state
on us,
"Then you've refrained from resorting
to assassination only lor strate
sons?” L asked.
“I have no moral qualms whatsoever
ical assassination, The stakes
gele are too high, lor both
America and all of Western civilization,
for us to forgo any means, however
brutal, that could Up the scales in our
favor. In fact, of course, we're сїнє
praew i
counterass pol
questions won't be decided by the q
ity of your argument, but by the quality
of your marksmanship,
He plucked the silver foil from a
throat lozenge and popped it into his
mouth. "You know," he went on, "one
with a telescopic rifle can have
more impact on the course of history
there are certain individuals who
the keystones of the state structure
—and if they're surgically removed, опе
by one, the whole edifice could collapse.
He smiled. "When vou really think
about it, assassination is a relatively hu-
ns of cllecting political change.
ıd of riots and revolutions and street
Darles that would kill hundreds of thou
in policy by
ating rchitects
gressive concept, actually."
Are vou training Minutemen as po-
litical assassins?” I asked.
He looked through
its Quite а pro-
mound of pa-
pers on his desk and tossed me a four
page mimeographed. pamphlet stamped
"When using telescop-
the paper began, “the
sniper aims his rifle by placing the top
of the post reticle (the cross hairs in
most civilian-type scope sights) on the
aiming point But the snipers final
concentration should be on the reticle
rather than target.” Every problem
conlront spiring from
adverse winds to crowds surrounding 1
victim, was covered: and particular at-
tention was given to targets in moving
vehicles: “At ап average speed. of 2100
feet per second. it will require one-half
sccond for the bullet to travel 350 yards.
During this half second an automobile
would move about seven feet for each
ten miles рег hour 1
50 miles per hour the vehicle would
travel 35 fect in this one-half. second.
Since the average passenger car is about
1 feet long. it will be necessary to lead.
the front edge of the car by three and
one half lengths for the bullet to strike
in the vicinity of the drive:
Two more pages of detailed instruc-
tions on firing distances and velocity
ensued. complete with diagra
lowed by exhortations on
sniping
finished reading, DePugh leaned back in
his chair, “That's just the basic instruc-
tions сусту one of our members starts
assassin.
* seat.
out with," he id. "We follow it up
with months of training and firing at
moving and station Мап lor
man, we probably have better marksmen
than the Army or Marine
I started to hand the document back
to him, but he waved it aside.
“Keep it souvenir,” he said
“Maybe some diy there'll be somebody
you want ont of the way, and iH come
in useful
He crunched his love ally,
you know, a rifle is a relatively crude
means of killing a man, We go throug!
damn thorough arms training, but guns
are only one small element in lly
modern resistance arsenal. All this stress
mirol and registration has а
me sort of a chuckle;
һа
жауз Ive
often thought of writing a book called
1001 Ways to Kill a Man Without
-
cÈ
fos
уз
$5
8
Ed
bos
FER
5 Е
„©
Tc
PLAYBOY
Using Firearms—dedicaed to Sen
Dodd, of course.”
“Would you care to name a fe
“Well, the most lethal we
disposal are chemic
cal-warfare agents. The m
ere they hold a regular job duri
the day and have an орропипйу 10
moonlight a few hours in the eveni
tor oo "Yes we've done it right here at Bio- wh
lab, and elsewhere across the country
DePugh s he added, “Thougl
ur o ial experiment got me into hot projects of their own. Fd suspect i
1 bacteriologi- — water with my kids, A few years ago. we some C BW.
n in the street developed our first batch of nerve gis ev
seems to believe there's something si- and decided to tv out а simple on the the Re Anmy has: we've gone into
ional about these devices—that Family pet, a one-hundred-eighty-pound — such advanced phases of biological war-
n only be manufactur ul ad. We dihued it down 10 Fare as the selective breeding ol various
sophisticated. top-secret Government lab- approximately one tenth of what we pathogens in order to or de
ornories. But the unique thing about aghi would trigger a noticeable physi crease their. virulence r
CBW. Бер al vespa gave him a whill: them r ant 1O ant
diced. with thoratory he walke bout six steps and fell over a knowledge of bacteriology coupled with
facilities, and at surprisingly low сом. Чен doornail, We tried. artificial tie can produce
АН that’s needed. is а certain level of respiration and gave him oxygen, but log cuts that are unique, tha
educuion and training amd reatively none of our ellorts could revive him and exist nowhere in nature: and a number
rudimentary equipment: almos amy my children didirt speak to me for a of these have qual
competent chemist, for example, could wee suited to the activities of
symhesize deadly nerve gases of various The smile faded, amd he stoked ihe movement. сутте portable
ис!
pons at
gents rese
rther deve'oped th
nder
пе д
genis is that they с
E
a ol
s
ticularly well
resistance
types.” raft shell on his desk pad ab sive to manufacture
I knew DePugh was a trained chemist, леу. опе man with a test tube
amd his Biol ics were far from. “OL course. our techniques are much — could wipe out a whole Army base. We
ated now. We have a wor pusly never unleash sach
Tasked number of our own physicians and bac agents among the general population.
k on the production This would only turn. public sentinu
ol biological agents and, just as impo unalterably against us. But by c
tant antitoxins to immunize our own — ling virulence and range. we've got
cv men. Most of this research goes on alter selective death-dealing weapon that. could
hours in public and private institutions — ellectivcly terrorize the opposition."
Mrs; DePuy ed the roi
form us that dinner would be at six and
that she was going home now to bake a
blueberry pie—" Bob's favorite dessert
DePugh tossed her the car keys.
With a deepening sense of unrcality, E
resumed our con “Whit spe
cific biological agents are the Minmene
currently working оп
“There are fiftv or sixty possibilities,
tid, “but we've narrowed our sights
down to seven that we lee are partic
lay well suited то guerrilla. activity.
Preamonic-plague | as is onc hell of
а killer. but. irs difficult to reduce the
plague’s virulence sulliciently to use it
ou specific targets without infecting the
innocent. We've had the most success to
dare with equine encephalitis virus
Weve developed three unique str
of it that we feel hold маман
promise and oller n
portunities, On
developed. by
Пу а honey,
When do you plan to put these bio
Is io usce?
y mol at this
gh repel. “We'd only
ploy CBW. when the struggle had
reached the final point ol armed. coi
frontation bewe us 1 һе мам
ht now were essentially still in
itary phase. а period where te
ЧЧ assassination шау
growing role, bur
one thing, the popu
irt ready to support ап undergrou
resistance movement уе: the economic
nd racial situations haven't det rated
А sulliciently. This is the time lor т
ds I understand it, the guaranteed annual income stiletto, пог the howiter. A poison that
would come to about a quart a duy. will Kill one key man is more valuable
rudimentary. "Have vou ever wiel 10 more sophisti
produce nerve gas yourself?”
Through the open door 1 could see — teriologists we
his pretty tenage daughter lau
coquettishly with the hippie-Minute
who had brought our collec. My 4
tion st
ck me as unre:
to in
ersati
ny ii
teresting op-
sirain in particular,
doc Oregon, is
risin
i oper
gle. Foi
The sparkling wines from Lejon Champagne Cellars, San Fran:
A Lejon Extra
у Dry Champagne.
a
Lejon
Cold Duck.
Lejon
Pink Champagne.
Lejon
Sparkling Burgundy. ?
PLAYBOY
258
to us now than a pathogen thar сап
neutralize five thousand,
“Are vou manufacturing poisons, ta
D asked.
Our inedicalrescarch tc ve
done exhaustive research ology,
wd have seleacd a number ol |
that could be quite productive: under
the proper circumstances. Theres really
h thing as a poison thar doesn’t
с, vou Know, but there are
to are extreme’y dillicult
erem Take insu
avaiable fu
по st
leave а
pe
detect in
in,
" any
the
is readily
acit and is a natural ingredient
of ihe body. A dose of insulin that
would have no cllect on
would kill a healthy hu
how would an autopsy ever be able to
iine tha
traces of insulin discovered in the system
could just as well belong there naturally?
Another dandy poison’ that's extreme:
ly dithcuh lor a pathologist 10 detect
succinytcholine, You may remember that
this is what the prosecution. claimed. Dr
Coppol but the
muiderer. mesel things up by. injec
it all in one place
dete was murder, since any
no usd то kill his wile
п rhe visible skin sur
face, If hed been more cautious and dis
persed it in two or three spots. prelerably
under the sc lp. bed would have been
the wiser, because the likelihood of detect
ing succinyleholine in а routi
is virtually nil.”
He fiddled with a dip of .80-caliber
munition, “But you don't even 1
ie amtopsy
to be (har sophisticated: there
number of common houschold
that make finc poison. T
icd a common autor
Der d.
seal bise Ethylene glycol ha
а pleasant, sweetish таме and сап easily
be added 1o a solt drink or a slice of
stard pie without vour victim ev
tecting it belore i
10 one C isa
s too late.
dose.
docs
e
no known antidote. N
ns ghat can
in а medical examin,
cial point to remember is th
cases of sudden death,
not performed. and death is attributed
to natural causes. There aren't enough
doaors in the country to ренот
on everybody who appea
sable lesio
autopsy. is
у to
heart failure or shock or
diabetic seizure or li
kidney disease €
es Let's кау you've slipped
ethylene glycol into some-
body's food. "Ehe average doctor would
examine the outward symptoms and
variably diagnose the cause. of death as
he: lure—which dn was, ol course,
but artificially induced. Even when vou
tem. i
er heme
а dose of
do have less the
ason to foul
thoriries have v suspect
play. is a pretty slipshod. pre forma
aair, Believe me, if you select the right
poison and go about it carefully, it’s the
1 ihe world to Kill а man.
for
head.
my
ol-
actly “I have а distiner. preference lar
nicotine sulphate. a common liquid alka-
loil that сап be administered orally
imravenously or through direct absorp-
m by the skin. Whats lovely about it
5 1 nox instantancously fatal
id leases no traces except in the blood
Personally.” he continued m
stream—and even in an шору. its
very rave do take а blood analysis, be-
liec it Nicotine sulphate is
a wide
all y
readily
range of
ud have то
Ж
ing solutions:
is €
your targer's beer. or
lotion wi It's absorbed quickly. par
ticularly if he's nicked himsell while shan-
ing. and unless it's washed oll with cold
sixty seconds. itd cause diz-
pse, respiratory. paralysis and
n. described
manufacture th.
ther poison. so
Lam unwilling
out it for a wide-circulation
After this I asked: “Do vou
ir Favorite poisons?
houghi а it. "Well. il
has done grear thi
eyanide gas gun. You may remembe
that one of their assassins whe defected
to the West in Berlin а few vears ago. a
guy named Bogdan Stashinsky, confessed
10 having liquidated iwo prominent
Ukrainian exiles with an ord water
pistol filled with cyanide. АН you have
to do is wait on well till. your
tim passes vc
mouth. with
y hin
слу d
vour nose and
and
cove
damp 1
in the face.
wdkerchiet
The fast. inl
and with «dy all
in the air will be disipat
get has died climb
1 sixty sec
ide sme
ce the t
«ht ol stai
nosed as hear
with the ıwo Uk
u actually. stockpiled
idv
uses
hosc—
expresionless,
do vow intend using them
es of this country,” he
ravely, pushing his chair back and
ng 10 my side. here, and
show you son haven't
showed а
y other jou
1 followed DePugh Irom his office
h a dusty storcroom heaped with
jus dabeled "Biolab. Vitami
Supplemenis" and imo a Lage room
Tintered with old newspapers and. mag
vines. There was no lurnilure other than
eight steel file cabinets, cach drawer se
сигу padlocked. He stood in the middle
of the к 1 gest
We're in the process of disper
»versive files,” he said. "What you
ved toward them.
sce here is only our California records
The master files—containing ever one
hundred thousand names [rom all fifty
Mateshave been buried underground
in seve nd
m
Al places across the country
ed I
v and ¢
crossinde:
s broken down by st:
v have gone out to local
branches, In recent months, we've totally
decentralized our intelligence sstem so
that if something should happen to me
or this headquarters, our records will still
(d
be intact.”
He wok а key from his pocket a
pened the top d,
awer on the ead ci
net. Te was packed with hundreds of
three-by h white Ше cards. ar
n alph order
д dossier in Califor
теты” He selected а cwd at
lere a Commie who lives
The card lists his
dress and. phone number,
hi
adquarters has а comprehensive port-
folio containing all he inlormat
we've gathered on his movements, his
ab, his personal. tastes—w quor,
boys, drugs. etc. When and il the time
comes to neutralize him, well have all
the information down pat.”
He renamed the card amd sammed
the drawer shut, locking it and Guetully
testing the handle
“We have eighteen thousand emes in
the Calilornia file alone. Now. needless to
гу. we've had to break these down acc
g (o the importance of the ind
ET
п rhe overall scheme оГ things and
сма а set of. priorities.” He tapped
the first drawer. “File A contains the
names of the runolthemill fellow
travelers and parlor pinks, the types who
join diferem Red fronts or show up on
picket lines but aren't full-time. opera-
tives and.
Hy dileru
hough they have тө be kepi under
They're ese
surveillance and som у deat with,
they dont constitute a really serious
threat.” He rapped his knuckles on the
second drawer. “File B here con is the
cards of those who are the next step up
the subversive Fadder—full-time Pary
members, draltcud bumers. civil rights
iator. Whenever we have the man
power, we trv to keep them under full-
time surveillance, but thevre still Di
Small fish” His eyes narrowed, d he
reached down ind unlocked the bonom
drawer, which cà ned fewer cards,
“Now this is file C—the really danger
ous types, the. bi tors, the
most dedicare
б ahis particula
bitches weg
“IE you're c
ave all traitors, wha
pose to take agii
He smiled enigmatically.
tion—when the rime comes.”
“Would that i
sked.
His voie was neutral
These son
state
ve special
"e
ced that these people
action do vou pio
Anyone
"No, Robert, please—not
PLAYBOY
260
2 has benaved his country to
the most ruthless enemies it has ever
known. The penalty for treason is
death, and if the execution of the sen-
tence is left to us .owe accept the
responsibility He smiled. “Don't wor-
y, Your name isn’t on the New York
lt. 1 checked before you сате out
here.”
М spare, апа
mustache whom 1
edo the
he said expressionlessls
“TH be right back,”
mured, his jaw tightening as he |
the other man ош
Alone for a momen
down some of the names i
C ме. Each card in
phorostatie copy, the i
wes triple spaced, D had ti
in file
wel
a wiih
ШОП
Seattle's
wiry
grizzled
before
the
seen
room. on
mur-
lowed
mes
di ne to jot
down 1| potential victims before. De
Pugh returned. Most of the. addresses
¢ in the Stanford area and none of
the n familiar. Û heard DePugh’s
Footsteps and slipped my pad and pencil
puds before he opened the door.
1
ce records,
"Lets go eat," he said, reruriin
file to the. drawer and. locking: it.
ade
As we left the building, 1 asked De-
Pugh how he could be certain that his
information on mere than 100,000
names across the country accu
"Suppose у ive the order to
liquid; ady in sour C file,” I
suggested, l it turned subse:
quently that he wasn't a s
all, How would you feel about sending
an innocent man to his death?”
He shrugged. “About as guilty as Lyn-
don Johnson feels sending thous
ids to die in. Vietnam," he replied in a
bored tone. “And anyway files are
tantly checked. and double-checked
M we y on the
ist, he belongs th
Are there amy prominent. names on
the lise" I asked ay we walked along
Norhorne’y streets toward his house.
He chuckled. “There are names. on
that dist that anybody who reads а n
paper would recognize.”
w
mes
« preoccupied. no longer avid
v his intelligi
the
“T's
he ig day
was
u were n
somel
out
уеге at
uly of
our
nebe
iccaracy
ews-
“Would you cue to name a few of
them?
Why not? Secretary Robert Spange
McNamara.” he replied. hissing the mid-
dle name sibilantly. “Hubert Humphrey.
William Fulbright, Bobby Kennedy and
Marin Luther Ring. [This was early
March 1908 —опе month before King's
i three months before Ken-
nedy's.] They're the most dan;
ous men
» God knows they're
His face suddenly. hardened. and he
hahed and gripped me by rhe anm.
"Remember what 1 told carlier
You
about the principle of deliberate delay
he asked. "Well. that phase of the struggle
iy just about over. The Minutemen are
now entering the revolutionary stage ol
ictivities, and from now on no holds
avrei." He released my arm abruptly
ad pulled the wrapper oll
wra nother
lozenge. “No holds at all. We're through
talking.
I askal him what had caused this
sudden ol tadics but he just
shook his head wordlessly and walked
on in silence. Suddenly, his eyes bright
ened, "Heres my place. You're going to
love the wiles blueberry. pic!
After DePugh dropped me olf at my
motel later. il
ї evening, I way unable
to sleep. Throughout dinner and during
the ride back from Norborne, he had
porated messianically on his hopes
future, occasionally ranging oll
to such disparate topics as the respon
sibility of the existential philosophers
(the сий of nausea,” as he characte
ized them) lor modern Weldschmerz, and
ol Keynesi
eco
ed, frequently
witty conversationalist, and only once
did the mask slip—when 1 asked him
how enduring he thought Martin. Lu
ther King’s nonviolent — philosophy
would prove in light of rising black
militancy. "Phat phony bastard!” His
knuckles on the sicerin were
е. "Неъ been а Red tor lor
years, And they give the Nobel Peace
Prize to that fraud, tl
Luther King
il it were
keep bis appointmemi at my motel, and
no one answered the phone at his home
or office. 1 learned
Associated Press
the
that a Seattle grand jury had issued a
warrant for his arrest on bank-robbing-
conspiracy charges the day before and,
one step ahead of the law, DePugh had
gone into hiding. I suddenly realized the
real reason for the beard and, more
Hy, for DePugh's uncharacte
knes with me: He viewed our
ince,
from a friend in
what he
ground: phase. of the
also have accounted
for his statement, shortly alter receiving
the phone call from. Seattle, that the
principle of deliberate delay was а
thing of the past and the Minun
men were now Entering a new phase of
Mcrrorism and assassination.
In the months since our final meetin:
marked bv the assassinations ol Dr
King and Senor Ke à
spate of terror attacks on peace and civil
rights advocates—DePugh has successful-
ho cluded the police,
ground bulletins to the Тайм
issuin;
news
with apparent. impunity, (Underground
Bulletin No. 2, issued tom “somewhere
in the United States” after the election.
that George Walks Ameri
can Independent Paty is Con
controlled. When th i.
gain control of his
Pugh wrote his followers, it turned 10
the ALP.. whieh today “is controlled at
the top by the same hidden hand that
controls the Democratic Party and. the
Republican Party.") His FBI “W i“
circular cautions that “DePu ed
ly carries а pistol and has access to other
types of weapons. including hand gre-
nades. Consider extremely dangerou
Even if DePugh is apprehended and
imprisoned, there is little doubt that the
Minutemen will continue to. [uncti
well before he went imo hiding, N
selected. а “second st ob dederis 10
tion in thi
run the organi event of his
death or incarceration. Bat the basi
question remains: Can DePugh and his
Minutemen really do what they. say?
The answer seems to be that they can-
not by themyelves—but they are not
alone. Other paramilitary groups are
burgeoning acros the country under the
stimulus of growing racial unrest. some
of these arc leftist, and some black, such
as the Black Panthers. But th ше
doubt hat the lars wd most. orga
ized groups cluster around DePugh's end
of the political spectrum. He is on par
ticularly close terms with the Reverend
Kenneth Goll of Englewood. Colorado,
leader of the Soldiers of the Cross. ап
organization of betw d 12.000
members. g pr у Са
Southwest. Сой, who
the Communist 1
e is
м
operat
fornia and the
aduated Irom
ty
to Gerald L. h's Christian Anti
Communist and went into the
witch hunting business on his own several
years ago. blends Protestant funda-
mentalism and Semitism (his olt
t The United
Jewish as Coney Island”
I і
repeated. theme is
Notions is a
with judo. ka torture. mu
lation and such desert survival techniques
s the eating of toads and.
asshoppets
Another group ou good fraternal
tems with the Minutemen—áand. with
Gols ошш— the Саона Rangers,
commanded by
Gale, U.S. Army (Ret), who org
Philippine guerrilla
Japanese in World W
10 General Dou;
views the Comin
international
got your
Ама
Colonel Wil
lorces à
Pwo is un
las MacArthur
sts as took of
Jewish
You
Jews, you got your
conspiracy:
nigger
Jews and you your white
Jews. Theyre all Jews and theyre all
the ollspring of the Devil.” The cole
nels favorite aphorism is, “Turn a n
got
sgor
aside out
nd you've got a Jew
ends th:
war
Adolf Hitlers repu
criminal is all a
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PLAYHBOY
262
misundersta
ding:
documents
million Jews Hitl
killed аге right here in America. And if
we тип them out of here, they'll go down — Party
about Rove we Warnell them in
hers. I've gor two ovens ready for them
The Rangers are one component of rel
ме networ
y groups operati,
the Southwest, A report by the Califor party w
genel
with the Ku Klux Klan, the N:
States Rights Party, the Christian Defense
League and the Church of Jesus Christ
Church of Jesus Christ—
m. founded in 1946, has bloss
into a sting of a
to Flo
Reverend Dr. Wesley Swift of L
а, reaches over 1.000.000 listen-
weekly radio broadcasts,
whieh artfully blend racism and evar
His subordinates
concept of the Christ
sion: The Reve
ol the sect’s St. Peter
пас
t the admission of James
Meredith to the Univ
police confisca
car. The church's most
ic preacher is the Reverend
а peripatetic anti-Nearo
agog who wears a Confede
а vest. Also a member of the Ku Klus
and the Minuteme
ıizer of the bloody
Connie Lynch
п show you top-
prove the six
r was supposed to have Inform
пч Negro оре
nd start screaming Сео
the Largest ра
every state of the
servative. estin
al reveals th:
timate connections viously initi;
addition to the Min-
edi
fluent parishes from
а. Its founder, the
aster,
ithfully
T wine hr
n Potito, minister
burg. Florida, parish
political і
local elections -r
af depo
е organizing demon-
sity of Mississip-
small c
ed
cons
cted the ра
ied. an
‚ Lynch. was
.R.P.
August
DePugh is the National St
with headqua
and, next to the Minutemen,
саме its membership f
ate is 2000 members
8000 то 12.000 active s
as formed in 1958 by Di. Edward
the R, Fields. a chiropractor who had pre-
ted an
ional Ше course of which he plastered the
windows of Jewish-owned shops with
nti Semitic stickers—and. Jesse B. Ston-
whose prior ventures
s klca
and founder of the
Christian. Anti-[ewish
dyocated mi
representation
Rays Uie convicted. Killer of Dr
A Luther King, Memb
NSRP. is predict
ih and Negro populations—in sev
Southern states. But by 1060. Fields re-
rty along p.
lines: A party uniform (white shirt,
- black. trousers а
d with a th
ne Ilag niscent of the Nazi SS e
is were stockpiled
ry discipline imposed on all mem-
Lincoln Rockwell whip up whites
housing demonstr
ly linked to both Swift and
lors.
es Rights
rers in Savannah,
wilitury organization in
the nation. The N.S.R
nion, but refuses to
ures; a con-
nd
mpthizers.
Jew Week" in
le of the K.K.K.
ing Judaism
of James
in the
«і oto
amd the
biy,
soup was initially
tion and contested
form
e Jew-
military
tivists have been involved
a number of terrorist attacks on Ne-
"I don't care what the vole was. Miss Finch—the
senior-class play will not be ‘Hair.
groes and Jews. The party broke
to the news on October 1 when
te blast destroyed a Jewish syn
п Atlanta; five men were arrest
ied for the crime, all of then
“Р. members, In 1963—the same
year the party Launched a “Fire Your
ager" campaign to drive more Negroes
out of the South—a scuflle erupted in
San Bernardino,
formed N.S.R.P. pickets and high school
students, during which one of the storm
troopers shot and wounded a student, On
September 15. rmingham's 16th
Street Baptist Church was shattered by a
dynamite blast dur y services,
amd four Negro children died. An
N.S.R.P. member was arrested in connec-
tion with the bombing, charged with il-
legal possession of dynamite and—in the
absence of conclusive eyewitness evidence
placing him at the scene—senteneed 10
nonths in prison. After an N.S.R.P.
lly in Anniston, А in late 1965.
in which speakers urged patriots to drive
‘the nigger out of the white m
street,” one of the galvanized party sym-
pathizers i се took off in his
car with two friends and fatally shot the
first Negro he saw.
In recent y
Rights Party has solidified irs links with
other i
та
urged its member to increase their
stockpiles of weapons. The N.SR.P. is
still relatively small. bur growing
is its potential for violence. Its member
ship reflects considerable cross-pollination
with the Klan and the Minutemen,
but its leaders Гай to exercise even the
comparative verbal restraint of the pre-
underground DePugh. The California
Fı iding Committee on U
Activities has warned ih.
ization is . .. more pote
zcrous than any of the Ame
avi groups.
The Ku Klux Klan, despite its long
record of violence, has not ший recently
become a genuine ary organiza-
tion. The Klan has tr
insirumemt of locil terrorism
than national revo' ution. Its murders,
beatings and tortures have generally
beca Guried o visae паз of
vengeance against “uppity” Negroes and
rel or imagined white wanoss to the
“Southern way of life," rather than
part of an orchestrated program of sub-
version. But all that is changing.
Today there
fu
can 5
dozen
the coun-
individuality most j
subordinate itself to any one man's
The current strength of all Klans to-
gether is estimated to be from 50,000
to 100.000, with an additional 1.000.000
sympathizers.” The Largest and most vio-
lent Klan—and the one most closely
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>
PLAYBO
264
linked to the Minutemen—is the United
Klans of Ame i
nd by Robert Shelton of Tuse
Alabama. Shelton's Klans have at
least
nates гип as
as $5,000—scattered
including Penn
‚ New Jersey. |
Ohio, Wisconsin, Nel:
(Pennsyly and Dragon Roy Fr
houser, J ms—possibly with some
there are currently more
in Wisconsin than in South
na)
der Shelton's leadership, the КІ
have adopted а distinctly paramilitary
orientation. Large caches of arms. includ-
ing automatic weapons, have been stock:
piled across the country; Klan “mi
committer have been established to
h members the techniques of guenil-
la warfare: "rifle clubs" and "sportsmen's
dubs” have been established as fronts;
€ instructed by Shelton
to join the National Rifle Association,
thus allowing them to buy Government-
subsidized ammunition at low prices
Klansmen have been holding more and
more field exercises, Minutemen. style,
where members are taught sniper and
rapid-fire shooting and instructed in
mortar firing and the construction and.
handling of dynamite, fuses, Molotov cock
nd booby traps. (A recent Klan
taught trainees how to sabotage
plants.) One
group—Nacirema, Inc.
even alleged to specialize in assassina-
Its members аге composed of the
elite of Klan toughs, and are exhaustively
uained in the tactics of terror and
sabotage. The “VIP Sean ›
48
New
through
tion.
lies, outfitted in white helmets and. gr
d slacks, is also reportedly being
enlarged into а well-armed р
shirts
lice force. In plain clothes, its mem-
bers served as bodyguards Гог George
Wallace at his American Independent
Party rallies; whe е са
1967, К.К.К, Grand
Minuteman chief. Frank-
Pennsylvania in
Dragon and
nkhouser es
means of ter-
s
local
fighting a futile rearguard action. and
nge with the times. We're not out to
conserve the system. now, but to change
it in ways that will protect the white
race—even if that means a revolution.
The Klin is a nationwide organi
today, not а regional defense force,
nd strategy are attuned to
the ‘Twentieth Century. Along with the
Minutemen, the Klan is developing
thousands of dedicated guerrilla fighters.
our tactics
If the niggers push us too far, we won't
But Frankhouser denies any formal
ational unity between
nd the Minutemen:
tion are always open between us,
Klan's military committees are doing ex-
the Minutemen are Чой
got the same enemies, the same friends
and the same goals, We're fightin
der different leadership, but
fighting together just the same.”
In addition to the major pa
ns, а host of lesser
appeared оп the national horizon
the past two years—pi
response to the deterior:
i a the ghettos of the major cit
the devastating Detroit riots, loi
right-wingers formed outfit called
Bi bers to
arm and organize uli
block by block into
force. In late 1967, Bre.
Donald Lobsinger orga
eral Douglas MacArthur Shooti
we're
military
groups
ad admonished his followers to join
the
N. R.A. in order to
receive arms training in anticipation of
the next racial holocaust. Lobsinger 1
айгасей thousands of Deiroiters to his
rallies, and recruited hundreds of mem-
a racially tense пе
the event of future disturbances in the
Negro areas of the city, Breakthiough’s
potential for violence is real and meu
ing.
In Newark, a similar armed vigilante
group was formed in
l rioting—the North W
Commiuce, led by a
named Anthony Imperiale. T
encourages all members to own fir
in the nd has ew
ens to patrol
both it und
bers
ishborhoods. In
zens
gle cruisers.” The committee has an esti-
ed membership of 1500, at 1 1000
of whom belong to a local gun dub.
Iso rumored to have b-
central cache of arms some-
ewark, but he denies the
ittee has been de-
"potential threat. to
nil order in New Jersey.”
With all its constituent organizations,
the paramilitary right in Americ
ally small. Including the К
the total membership. probably amo
to no more than 150,000 —and of
E
that
number only a minority of zealots will
ever be w
sol
ng to jeopardize the
security by engaging
violence. But with each new race riot.
with every deepening of the bitter divi
sions between black and white, left and
right. young and old, with cach new
economic convulsion and social upheaval.
their numbers and determi
almost ce
The parami
hope of ever seizing power in Ameri
—even an America convulsed by
war. H there is a right-wing take-over, it
will almost certainly be validated at the
polls, and ity leaders will be respectable
men of dle forced to uphold
“law and order” by curbing the tr
tional democratic liberties of freedom of
press. speech and assembly. Thus. the
Minutemen and their allies are outsi
crs, and will remain so. But the Minute-
man is very much a child of this society
nurtured ped by the political
demonology and hysterical anti-Commu-
nist rhetoric of the Cold War, shadowed
through life by the Bomb and squeezed
nly grow.
ary right has no rca
the n
t understand. It
atmosph
breeds paranoia—and elevates it into a
fe stvle. But the implications of the
Minuteman mentality transcend
noia, The Minuteman addresses himself
to very real problems—racial chaos, eco-
nomic unrest and
clusive war in
national ru:
litical di His
probiems may be irrational, violent and
vicious, but it is unquestionably а re-
flection of the extremity of the social
crises confronting us. If American cities
rn, our best leaders
йрету bullets, if
thousands of young men continue to die
ly as well as physically.
meless rice paddies, the sickness th:
spawned the Minutemen will
virulence, and may spread through
out society.
Philosopher Daniel Bell has wr
that ours “is a fragile system. H there is
a lesson to be learned from the downfall
of demoa government
et
Asi;
and exacerbates. po:
sponse to these
point comes
ies or social move-
blish ‘private
armies’ whose resort to violence—street
fighting, bombings. the breakup of
opponents! meetings, or simply i
i anot be controlled by the
elected. authorities, and
violence is justified or m
: respectable elements in society.
Minutemen nong the symp-
toms, not the causes, of the malaise t
the worst side of our society and ourselves
before it’s too late—if we care to look.
265
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266
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