PLAYBOY

ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN JANUARY 1970 + $1.50

PLAYBOY

EES
ri nid

HOLIDAY ANNIVERSARY ISSUE FEATURING SENATOR
GEORGE McGOVERN * TENNESSEE WILLIAMS * THE HONORABLE
ARTHUR 1. GOLDBERG * IRWIN SHAW * BRUCE JAY FRIEDMAN
JUSTICE WILLIAM 0. DOUGLAS * GRAHAM GREENE * DAVID
HALBERSTAM * ART BUCHWALD * HARVEY COX * JULIAN

BOND = MORT SAHL “ROBERT MORLEY.” CESAR CHAVEZ

JEAN SHEPHERD * TOM WICKER-* PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE
REVIEW * AN INTERVIEW WITH RAQUEL WELCH * PLANS

FOR A POSH NEW PLAYBOY PENTHOUSE * HOW TO THROW

A WILD ROMAN REVEL * VARGAS REVISITED * AND MUCH MORE

Sêran Distillers Co., N. Y. C. Blended Whiskey.86 Proof. 65% Grain Neutral Spirits.

Seagram's 7 Crown
for Christmas.

Beautiful.

(Decanter and regular bottle gift-packaged at no extra charge.)

You don't have to pay through
the nose to make your ears happy.

There is a myth that great stereo has to consist Our FM tuner pulls in the weakest stations
of a lot of expensive components all over the place. clearly, has greater selectivity, and contains the
That's nonsense. easiest pushbutton controls.
After all, it's what you hear that counts, not how Our rugged amplifier gives you a full 100 watts
many pieces you have. And what you hear depends of EIA rated power so you don't lose any high or
on how good the pieces are, not how much you pay. low sound levels.
We'll stack our CS15W against anybody's And the Dual 1015 automatic turntable with
System. the Pickering magnetic cartridge gives you
Because our air suspension speakers are as smooth, distortion-free sound.
good as standard speakers two sizes larger. And The big difference between our system and
with our wide-angle sound уси don't have to sit in alot of components is that we put it all together for
one spot to get the full stereoeffect. you. So you don't have to worry about mismatching

one unit to another.
Oh yes, there's another difference. Our system
costs a lot less.

SYLVANIA М

GENERAL TELEPHONE & ELECTRONICS

һояхлчла

GOLDBERG

FRIEDMAN

BUCHWALD

PLAY BILL ^om a two-digit change in the calendar and move

мо the eighth decade of the century, we find that no
matter where we Jook on the glob
spectacle of men in conllict: in the М
Europe, in Northern Ireland, i
most critical questions that must be resolved in the next few years is whether
this pluralistic nation we call the United States of America can complete the
task of molding its diverse components into a true union. With dissatished
and ever more distrustful groups of citizens squaring off across numerous lines
of demarcation, it appears that we are at a political crossroads: Will the div
gent factions continue to pull farther and farther apart?

At this juncture in history, rLaynoy presents a four part. symposium on
the multiple divisions with which the country is alllicted. Tiled Brin
Together, it advances concrete proposals that concerned President. might
adopt in order to reconcile America’s polarized elements. Senator George
McGovern, who holds a Ph.D. in history and government from Northwestern
and who gained the natio war stand
аг the 968 Democratic Nation al Conve bes therapy for the gener-

on gap: Georgia's black state representative Julian Bond who has so
captivated the political pundits that he wryly asserts he can’t decide whether
he wants to become Congressman or King—considers ways to achieve harmony
among the races; Cesar Chavez, director of the Un
der of the California grape pickers’ strike, offers perti
ng the ominous gulf between the haves and the have-nots: and
ker of The New York Times, whose commentary on
the radicalization of the United States in the Sixties earned him appl:
one of the nation’s foremost social analysts, tells how the left
ol the grounded Amer ¢ can once again be coordin

Yet another polarity in American society is the one between the politicians
and the people they claim to represent. In Points of Rebellion, Supreme Court
Justice William O. De
the problems thar contin
done lile or nothing to alleviate them: mil
pollution and neglect of the poor. And in Our Besieged Bill of Rights, Rei
J. Goldberg—former Supreme Court Justice, Secretary of Labor and U.S.
Ambassador to the United Natiens—zeroes in or
on our individual freedoms by those who feel that stability с
ned by the enforcement of what they call “law and order" Justice Cold-
begs article developed from the Owen J. Roberts Memorial Lecture he
delivered last February at the University of Pennsylvania Law School.

i athe destructive and d effects our war
ellort has had on the South Vietnamese—receives compassionate scrutiny in
expert David Halberstam's The Americanization of Vietnam, Halberstam first
visited. Vietnan New York Times correspondent in 1062 and 1963: his
ge won him the Puliver Prize a year шет. In. 1967, he returned to that
ged country on behalf ol Harper's, which he serves as a contributing
ilberstum's books ou Vietnam include The Making of a Quagmire
and a novel, One Very Hot Day; he recently completed а brief biography of
Ho Chi Minh for nd is working—for Random House—on a volume
dealing with the politics of escalation. His latest book is on a subject lar re
moved from V The Unfinished Odyssey of Robert Kennedy.

As the nation continues on its own odyssey, the question
fects will the аске ace of life in our technological soc
e nt generation
1 Nonlinear Probe, а wr
relives the

we behold the Гап 1d distressing
iddle East, in Southeast Asia, in central
n Africa. And one of the

е to plagne Americ

ses: What ef
ty have on the

n the next decide—imd beyond? In The Past as Future:

er of tl

ider-30 generation—Jacob Brackman—
atic Sixties and projects himself into the onrushing decide
Brackman ic trip is complemented by artist Harry Bouras” kaleido
scopic collage of the multitudinous images and events of the volcanic Sixti

One moment during the year when men theoretically pause in their pur
suit of folly is Christmas—bur the celebration of Christ's nativity has become
з. In For Christ's Sake, Dr

jux so much humbug for 100 many Americ

Harvey Cox decries the transformation of Jesus from a joyous revolutionary
1

martyr into a meck and aset im. The article was written in a two-day

burst of energy after the author 1
published theological csay on fes
ular post as prolessor of divinity independent
research о t he calls the y recreations of Jesus.” While we're
ibject of Christmas, it might be well to point out that we also have on

r nature. For those who tend to let the

uide to
ps on à way-out way to celebrate the
1 soulful holiday feel free to consult

ul finished The Feast of Fools, a recently
ical from his reg

‚ Cox is conduc

а lastminute gifts. And for t
ys a more sybaritic «

's end—al

fete worthy of the Caesars,

Roman Revel, a wordsand-pictures formula for a
complete with eight pages of color uncoverage, fun and games to enter
your guests and master chef Thomas Mario's accompanying bill of fair partic-
libles and potables to suit the uninhibited jollification.

эп to the serious and the serviceable, there is an abundance of
aerial on hand as well. An Asian traveler with a vastly different per-
spective from David Halberstam's is Robert Morley, the character actor and
raconteur extraordinaire, who—in Marco Roly-Poly Meets the Mysterious
Easi—vecounts al adventures in the Soviet Union and sundry Or
1 settings. Morley has prominent parts in two new motion pictures, Song of
Norway and Oliver Cromwell, and at presstime was about to hic himself to
the Isle of Mull “and spend three weeks risking my life in an Alistair M.
Lean picture which necessitates my jumping from one boa

Morley added that he didn’t feel up to such derring-do, "for
in Cromwell and 1 am not sure that either of us has fully recovered.
notable contributors to the antic side of this issue аге Art Buchwald, who
reveals the secrets of an unprepossessing make-out artist in The Most Unfor-
gettable Swordsman 1 Ever Mel: Mort Sahl, who chronicles his ongoing ro-
nice with a Cobra (automotive variety) in Charmed by a Snake; and Jean
Shepherd, who unravels another Army yarn in Zinsmeister and the Treacher
ous Fighter from Decatur. For humor with visual appeal, we have The Good.
the Rad and the Garlic, a comic fumetio directed by Harvey Kurtzman and WICKER
Tony Randall, with photography by Mario Сак and a Sol

MORLEY

Weinstein-Dick. Mathews script: a sardonic collection of Alphabétes Noires,
by cutoonist J. B. Handelsman; and Thar Was the Year That Was, with
Judith Мх verses invoking—and provoking—the newsmakers of 1060

ad fiction this month, Irwin Shaw's Thomas in Elysium, is about a
tke amd his eventual comeuppance: a portrait of Thomas better-behaved
brother will appear in the March PLayoy. Both tales were adapted from a
novel in progress, slated for September release by Delacorte. Shaw, who lives
in Klosters, Switzerland, is currently on page 1002 of the as-yet-untitied manu-
script and expects to spend most of this year editing it. Another excellent
example of the storyteller’s art is 4 Recluse and His Guest, which brings to us,
for the first time, the by-line of Tennessee Williams. Williams is now at work
on a pair of plays. His most recent book is a collection of one-acters called
In the Bay of a Tokyo Hotel (New Directions).

The Mourner—a provocative tale of a man who butts into the funeral of
is the work of Bruce who at last noi ul-
neously working on а novel and prepar play, Steambath, for production
on Broadway. Prior to that, he had completed the book version of his play
Scuba Duba—olt-Broadway's longest-running comedy—and Black Angels, a
collection of short stories. Our January fiction also includes the final install-
ment of Graham Greene's tale of inte intrigue, Crook's Tour (тот
new novel, Travels with My Aunt, Vi ch presents us with an unusual
coincidence, since David Halberstanrs article on Vietnam begins with a quo-

m from Greene's book The Quiet Amertcan—a reminder of the brillian
versatility that Greene his shown throughout his career.

Ravishing Raquel Welch, Hollywood's hottest. property and the hero(ine)
ol Myra Breckinridge, speaks out on the mixed blessing of sex stardom in an
exclusive Playboy Interview conducted by Richard Warren Lewis, Heavenly
bodies ol a more mechanical nature are surveyed in Chassie Comebacks, a look
at two sporting high-powered cars that re-create the elegance of vesteryear’s most
fondly remembered roadcratt Playboy Plans a Duplex Penthouse transports
us to a coolly contemporary Xanadu of our own design: and European Fashion
Dateline finds our ector Robert L. Green, report-
ing on the newest trends from the Old World, Actressmodelwriter Jeanne
Rejaunier, author of The Beauty Trap, unveils her own beauty in an eye-
opening pictorial: artist LeRoy Neiman takes us on a colorsplashed, vibrantly
visual trip across the exotic expanse of Morocco, to which we append a travel
ide to the attractions of that sun-baked land: and first of the-decade Playmate
es us along on a unfilled weekend in Palm Springs

spirit of Auld Lang Syne, we cast several glances over our
shoulder: first, our annual photographic review of the delightful girls who
tcfold during the vear that's past: then, a gallery of glamor gi
nd-present master of the pinup, Alberto Vargas, a romantic
af his рам ten. years with d—to cap а many-splendored
issue with suitable ceremony—a spread announcing and hon the writers
who we feel contributed the best essays, articles, f ire and humor to
LAynoy during 1969, each the recipient of a Lucite-mounted silver medallion
1 a $1000 prize, So much for what's behind us. “The present hour alone is

Our 1

NEIMAN

И

graced our

К
man's," wrote Samuel Johnson: we concur, and trust that there's enough enter- \ i

ua

m.

ny more

at within to occupy not only the present hour but well. RUKTZMAN CASILLE

PLAYBOY, JANUARY, 1970, VOLUME (7. NUMPER 1 PUBLISHED MONTHLY вт MMH PUBLISHING CO. INC. IN WATIONAL AND REGIONAL ERITIONS. PLAYBOY BUILDING
Michigan AVENUE, CHICAGO, дүш» эше. SECOND CLASS FUSIAGE PAID AT CHICAGE, ILLINOIS, AND AT AUCITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. SUPSCRIPTIONS.: IN THE U. $., 310 TOR

This is a love story.

The year was 1948.

In a rented building outside of
Stuttgart, Germany, an old man,
his son and a dozen workers began
building an automobile.

After a lifetime of designing cars
for other people, this one would
be the first to bear his name.

Three years later Professor
Ferdinand Porsche was dead. But

he'd left behind, in his son, the
determination to build great cars.

Today, Porsches are still made
in Stuttgart. And Porsches are still
made by Porsches.

Ferry, the son who worked on
the 1948 car with his father, works
on the 1970 cars with his sons.

Butzi, who designs them. Peter,
who's in charge of production.

For the Porsche dealer nearest you call 800-553-0550, free in th» continental U 8. In lows call collect 319-242-1887)

And Wolfgang, who'll learn the

business from the bottom up.
The generations have changed.

And so have the cars. But one thing

has stayed the same.

The love that went into the first
Porsche over 21 years ago goes into
every Porsche that's made today.

PORSCHE’

vol. 17, no. I—january, 1970

PLAYBOY.

Bring Us Together

Ploymote Review

Post os Future

(CITED MATERIALS. ALL AIGHTS IN LETTERS SENT та
FUAYOOY WILL ег TREATED AS UNCONDITIONALLY AS-

вешаю тїлїёпү® ano RABBIT HEAD BESIGHE ntis

з. 238; WASSM. OTTAMA, P. э; DON KLUWER, F. ет:
PARSIN KONEN, P з, 215, STANLEY ким, P. Ha.
AY з. LEVITON. P. ма JAMES макау, P. 3 (29, ыс

CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE

PLAYBILL — ^ з
DEAR PLAYBOY н .n
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 27
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR By eS E
THE PLAYBOY FORUM 57
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: RAQUEL WELCH—candid conversation 75

THOMAS IN ELYSIUM —fiction
CLASSIC COMEBACKS— modern
A RECLUSE AND HIS GUEST—

IRWIN SHAW 92
ing 98
on ~. TENNESSEE WILLIAMS 101
THE MOST UNFORGETTABLE SWCRDSMAN—humor ART BUCHWALD 103
THE AMERICANIZATION OF VIETNAM— DAVID HALBERSTAM 105
ROMAN REVEL— modern living ... 5 106
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE—opinion HARVEY COX 117
EUROPEAN FASHION DATELINE—attire ROBERT 1. GREEN 118
THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS—humor JUDITH WAK 123
BRING US TOGETHER —orticles s 125

RECONCILING THE GENERATIONS U.S. SENATOR GEORGE McGOVERN 126

SHARING THE WEALTH. CESAR CHAVEZ 127

UNITING THE RACES JUUAN BOND 128

FORGING A LEFT-RIGHT COALITION TOM WICKER 129
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE GARLIC—setire HARVEY KURTZMAN 133

CHARMED BY А SNAKE—humor... MORT SAHL
CROOK'S TOUR —fiction GRAHAM GREENE 142
SUNNY GIRL—ployboy's playmate of the month . M4
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES —humor 152
PLAYBOY PLANS A DUPLEX PENTHOUSE— modern living 155
POINTS OF REBELLION erticle. JUSTICE WILIAM O. DOUGIAS 163
"BEAUTY TRAP" BEAUTY pictorial. 165

THE PAST AS FUTURE: A NONLINEAR PROBE—opinion.._ JACOB BRACKMAN 169
THE MOURNER- fiction = BRUCE JAY FRIEDMAN 177
ZINSMEISTER AND THE EIGHTER FROM DECATUR —humor.... JEAN SHEPHERD 178
PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW — pictorial
MARCO ROLY-POLY MEETS THE EAST—humor. — ROBERT MORIEY 191
OUR BESIEGED BILL OF RIGHTS —orüicle THE HON. ARTHUR J. GOLDBERG 193

VARGAS REVISITED—nostelgia 195
MOROCCO —man ot his leisure... LEROY NEIMAN 203
THE GIRL AND THE SHARK—ribald classic 209
THE ELEVENTH-HOUR SANTA —gift« 21
PLAYBOY'S ANNUAL WRITING AWARDS. 214

1. в. HANDELSMAN 217
s . 236
tire HARVEY KURTZMAN ond WILL ELDER 299

ALPHABÉTES NOIRES—humor __
ON THE SCENE—personali
LITTLE ANNIE FANNY—:

ниси м. HEFNER editor and publisher
A. с. SPECTORSRY associate publisher and editorial director
ARTHUR PAUL ari director

JACK J kesse managing editor VINCENT r rapi picture editor

SHELDON wax assistant managing editor; MURRAY. FISHER, MICHAEL LAURENCE, NAT
LEWRMAN senior editors; ROME MACAULEY fiction edita: JAMES GOODE articles editor;
ARTHUR RRETCHMER associate arlicles editor; том OWEN modern living editor; Dav
BUTLER, HENRY FENW JAM |. HELMER, LAWRENCE

МОНЕ ар J. SHEA, DAVID STEVENS, JULIA TRELEASE, CRAIG VELTER, ROBERT ANTON WILSON
asociate edilors; ROBERT L. GREEN fashion director; DAVID TAYLOR fashion editor:
LEN prmarrox [ravel editor; RENA ortos. assistant Iravel editor; THOMAS
Manto food è drink editor; J. vravi «втту contributing editar, business c finance:
ARLENE BOURAS сору chief: KEN W. PURDY, KENNETH TYNAN contribuling editors;
menawn korr. administrative edilor; SVEVEN М. 1- ARONSON, GEOFFREY NORMAN
MLL QUINN, CARL SNYDER, JAMES SPURLOCK, ROGER WIENER, KAY WILLIAMS assistant
editors; BEY CHAMBERLAIN asociile picture edior: MARIO CASILLI, DAVID. CHAN
DWIGHT HOOKER, POMPEO Posar, ALEXAS URNA staff photographers; MIRE сотилио
photo lab chief; WAN sooi executive ari assistant; коха» WLUME associate
art direclor: WOW VOST, GEORGE KENTON, RERIG POPE, TOM SIMENLER, HOY MOODY
LES WILLIS, CHET SUSKI, JOSEPH PACZEK assislanl art directors; WALTER киләкмүси,
VICTOR HUBBARD art assistant MELLE ALIMAN asociale cartoon editor; Jon
MASTRO production manager; ALLEN VARGO assistant production manager: vt
mapras sights and Permissions = ertising director; jours
KASE, JOSEPH. GUENTHER asociate advertising managers; SHERMAN KEATS chicago
advertising manager; WoRFRY A. MCKENZIE detroit advertising manager: NE
sox ruten promotion director; navut toca. publicity manager; BENNY DUNN
public relations manager; ANSON MOUNT Public аай manager; THEO FRED-
маск personnel director; JANET MEM reader service: ANIN WiEMOLD sub
scription manager; ROBERT s. PREUSS business manager and circulation. director

AWARD W. L

RER а

Is your gift as good as Grants?

This year, give your favorite people a gift

you know they'll open and enjoy—Grant's 8 Scotch. It’s aged for
8 full year: rimming with rich, smooth, honest Scotch flavor.
And while atit, enjoy a little of the holida irit yourself.

Grants 8 Scotch...as long as you're up.

PLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY ва TIN. NICHOLS & CO. INC. WY. TLED IN SCOTLAND.

Reach out forsomeone.

Т communicate is the beginning of understanding. G)ATST

Youd feel better
if it cost $100 more.

Anyone who tells you he can save
you money on stereo isn't doing you any
favors. Because when you save yourself.
some money, you lose yourself some stereo.

Thats why the price of ournew
compact system is going to leave you feeling
alittle bit queasy. Is it too low? How can
we doit? Where'd we cut corners? What'd
we cut out?

Nota thing.

So even if you don’t feel good about the
price, feel good about the elevator that
raises the turntable when you raise the lid.
‘And hides it away when you lower it. Dust-
proof. And compact.

So уоп оп have to put out an extra
$15 or so ona dust cover.

Feel good about the visual meters that
let you see where you're setting the treble,
bass and volume controls for FMand AM
radioor phonograph.

Check out a gizmo called FET found
only in the most expensive high-fidelity
instruments. It pulls in distant stations and
makes sure you get only one at a time.

That should lift your spirits a bit.

And the speaker system. Two beautiful
walnut cabinets with 4 acoustic speakers,
Two 7-inch woofers and two 2%-inch
tweeters.

You'll see how much better you feel
when you examine the balance control that.
lets you adjust the amount of sound in each
speaker for stereo perfection. And the FM

stereo selector that automatically selects
only stereo stations. And the AFC switch
that gives you drift-free reception on FM.
And the Stereo Eye that tells you whether
you're listening to stereo or not. And the
jacks that let you play vour tape recorder,
TY, short-wave tuner or movie projector
through the high-fidelity system.

See how you feel about the receiver.
Even the back is finished. And the black-out
glass that hides all the dial numbers when
the set's not in use.

Ask any dealer we permit to carry
the Panasonic line to show you the
Princeton, Model SG-999. Now that you
know what you're buying, it won't take
courage to pay less.

ЫРА E
ASONIC.

__ 200 PARK AVENUE, NEW YORK 10017
For your nearest Panasonic dealer, call (800) 243-0355,
In Conn., 853-3600. We pay for the call,

DEAR PLAYBOY

ЕЗ оша» ruaveor MAGAZINE - PLAYEOY BUILDING, втв N. MICHIGAN AVE, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

MELTING POT
The extent to which Dr. Fort has re
Searched his subject is quite evident in
Pot: A Rational. Approach (wuavnov,
October). While 1 cannot. presently sup-
port Dr. Forts view that the distribution
and use of marijuana should be fully
legalized, particularly in view of the
inadequately documented. long-term cf-
fects of the drug, 1 certainly share his
conviction that existing Federal and
маше penalties for ils posession are
surely in need of revision. 1 hope this
will be accomplished in the present ses
sion of Con:
Roger O. Egeberg. M. D.
Assistant Secretary for
Health and Scientific
Department of Health,
Education and Wellare
Washington, D. С.

Airs

I found Dr
тегей

Joel Forts article to De
most imd provocative, As а
member of the House Select Committee
report that the Congress
is acutely aware ol the many contentions
ig marijuana elfects, the laws
д 1 the penalties pro-
vided by those laws, The dı 1 of the
crime committee, Congressman: Claude
Pepper of Florida, called on the
Surgeon General to conduct a thorough
study of the use of marijuana, а study
r to the one conducted by the Sur
General several years ago on the
use of tobacco. 1 am hopeful that this
study will help clear up the varied con-
ceptions of marijuana use and the even

on Crime, 1 ¢

has

more varied conceptions of how the law

should govern or restrict its use
Representative Jerome R. Waldie
U, S. House of Representatives
Washington, D. C.

Dr. For's reference to the "vicious
circle" operating in relation to the use of
marijuana is an accurate one and sadly
so. Research into the relatively unknown
world of pot has been blocked for years
by sciemilic and Government administ
themselves its
moral wrongness. It is physically danger-
‚ they
say, and therefore. undeserving of intel-
lectual analysis and scientific: research.

tors who conclude for

ly wron

ous because it is spiritu

Shrouded by uncertainties, it remains
sinfully da We have suffered
such logic for too long. I improvement
in the law is necessary, it should come
from the nation’s legislatures. 1 there is
a pressing need for objective scientific
judgments concerning the harm and/or
henefit of pot, then research toward that
end should be undertaken as soon a
possible and legislatures should begin to
pave the way now. Our society should
not be forced to wait upon the ponder
ing proclivities of the national judiciary.
Liberalized laws and creative research
efforts are already too long overdue
There is recent evidence that Congress is
on ity way toward raising the marijuana

The first giant step was
taken in September, when a bipartisan
group of 35 Congressmen, including my
self, joined Representative Edward. I.
Koch in sponsoring legislation to estab
lish а Presidential commission to consid-
er pots legal, medical and sociological
aspects. H approved by both Houses, the
commission would work to
ly establish how many
ma

erous.

smoke screen

uthoritative
Americans smoke
ijuana, how cllective the laws against.
it me, its personal and social effects, its
relationship to crime and its possible
role as a threshold to the use of other
drugs. We make no pretensions about

the commission concept—it is assuredly
noi the answer to the marijuana contro-
What it is, is the first
real attempt to pose the right questions.
The rational approach must be the only
approach to pot. Aud it appears that, at
least in Congress, the rational approach
has begun.

Repres

very however

ive William D. Hathaway
U.S. House of Representatives
Washington, D. C.

Since 1 have been concerned with the
narcoticaddicnon and drugabuse prob.
Jem for some time, 1 read Dr. Fort's opin-
ion with special interest. [agree with the
implicit criticism of the Nixon. Adminis-
tration's initial approach to the problem.
Immediately aher the Nixon-Mitchell.
law-enforcementoriented message was de
livered to Congress, 1 introduced in the
Howse of Representatives and Ralph Y
borough of Texas introduced in the Si
ме a ЫШ that would provide for a

prehensive and coordinated attack on

«

For the man
with a lot

“COLOGNE

REVLON

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Created for men by Revlo

PLAYBOY

12

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For example, the new Wollensak
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The exceptional amplifier has а
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And it has all the “extras” for

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In fact, Wollensak delivers a full
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the narco
proble:

addiction and drugabuse
u «Готе, 1 must take excep
tion with Dr. Fort's statement, “IL is ironic
our present pot are upheld
Hy by the older generation, and fout-
d condemned by the young.” While

people flout and condemn
juana statutes, neither do all
в of the older generation support
aded laws thai

existing ma
membe

mally. progressively
intelligently. Rather than venting angi
our proposed legislation offers both ba
ly needed help and posible solutions to
a problem rhat must be resolved and
resolved quickly

nitive Charles H. Wilson
оше of. Repres
Washington, D. C.

Dr. Joel Fort correctly states that in
1968, North Dakota maintained the high-
est maximum sentence (99 years) for first-
offense a possession in the entire
country. However, he inconectly indi.
cates that this is still the case. On July 1,
1969, marijuana possession legally be
came IC Carry i ў
emtence of 30 da
North Dakota is the first state to
possession of grass from felony to
misdemeanor status North Dakota leg
islators, however conservative, cannot be

"und
orks, North Dakota

I would t on the dis
torted, inaccurate and misleading article
by Dr. Joel Forti—Pot: A Rational Ap
proach. In regard to the La Guardia
Report, the Americ: Associ
tion urged its members to disregard the
findings of this report as being
ae. Dr Jules Bouquet of Tun
worlds greatest expert on n
having conducted research on users for
many years, commented that the doctors
who signed the report were very bokl to
say that they observed no antisocial acts
that all subjects under observation were
confined 10 а prison. Then, in reference
to the Marijuana Act of 1937, Dr. Fort
states that no experts testified as to the
elects of marijuana, He omitted the pro-
found testimony of Dr
professor of ph:
Unive

James Munch,
macology at 1
who had long experie
this area, The act was passed as a result
of repeated requests from Western and
Southern states, wh marijuana
become a serious cri

At a hearing before the New York
Joint Legislative Committee on Grime
nd Narcotics, nine professors refused to
testify and took the Filth Amendment
D: t, Professor Timothy L
other college professors give

lectures,

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PLAYBOY

14

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throughout the United States to college
students, expounding on their ignorance,
saying that marijuana is harmless and
expands outer consciousness. Another
professor, from Indiana University, like
wise preaches the glory of mariju
These men have caused the use of dru
on campus. Every nation in the world
has a strong law to control marijuana
There are 1800 papers in the bibliog:
phy of marijuana—only five consider it
harmless. Legalizing marijuana is absurd
and academic. The Narcotic Convention
of 1961 obligates the United States to
control marijuana. The Supreme Court
has ruled, in the case of Missouri vs
Holland, that а law to carry out a treaty
is constitutional

Harry J. Anslinger

U.S. Commissioner of

Narcotics, 1930-1962
Hollidaysburg, Pennsylvania
Fort and Anslinger debate, and are

joined by other experts, in vr Av wo;
February panel, "The Drug Revolution."

While E disagree with Dr. Fort’s evalu
ation of much of the research that has
been done on marij while I dis
agree with his opinion that we know a
lor about marijuana (a lot of research
has to be done before we know the “risk
factor" from pot) and while I disagree
with his conclusion that the drug should
be legalized now, nevertheless, the article
is superb, for it graphically illustrates the
tragedy of the present mariju:
There is now a disrespect for law
order never before witnessed. The com.
mon practice is, “If you don't like a law,
then break in" and the destruction of
many of our college campuses and the
impending ruin of much of our educa
tional system are the by-products. How
ever, to legalize marijuana now would be
а disaster. We woukl soon have several
million marijuanaholics, because when
we legalize anything, the message is ас
ceptance. To give marijuana cultural ac
ceptance would "turn. on” millions of
our teenagers to this drug, and few 13-
l6-ycarolds use marijuana successfully
In addition, to legalize and thus control
only weak forms of marijuana would
only result in huge amounts of the po
tent forms of the Cannabis sativa (ie,
hashish, tetrabydiocmnabinol, etc) being
smuggled into the country for a bett
high. It would be like legalizing only
beer and wine, which would result in
a black market for whiskey. With the
recent marijuana shortage in California
regular users of grass are dividing into
two groups—one group has decided to
wait until marijuana becomes more
able to resume u the other
group, a sizable one, has gone on to the
amphetamines and. barbiturates, beca
they have to have a chemical high and
cannot жай for marijuana (o become

more available, Certainly, each gener
tion gets the drugs it deserves. Perl

p

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“OR TE WORLU'S TOP 12 8

18

we adults deserve this "pot, acid and
speed" g ion, which so often re
minds us that “the words of the llariy
vs have turned milli we of
us onto drugs than those of the T
1

зуу

J. Thomas t
Department of. Psychiatry
University of Calilomia
Los Angeles, California

I have
Forts view

my of the stud
completely uncontrolled affairs, even 10
the point of neglecting to record dos

or usage schedules of the subjects. And
sociologist Howard Becker, whose re.
best return
for he
dle re
1 or

search is cited by Fort, һа
and review the literature. a
missed a number of readily ауа
ports of ma duced p:
піс delusions, gross confusion and
ion, depersonalization, hall
and psychosis. He abo proba
mised the controlled experiments
| Cannabis мийа resin has been

shown to produce a phenomenally 1
incidence of abortions and/or fetal ma

ms in experimental animals
let me say that T agree with the
mise that the present n
ve absurd. I also tend to support the
that the
“choose

mental à
human l;

ble co hi
he makes his
and 1 feel that grossly incomplete.
ether unbiased
г. Fort's should not be allowed to go
record as portraying the opinions of
the entire medical community

Asi L. Godbey, M.D.

Chief Resident, College of Medi

Department of Psychiatry

University of Flori

Gainesville, Florida

individu:
nll pex
«hoic

ne

At an ungodly dangerous moment in
history, with the blind i
average, red-blooded Americ
such unenlightened, ixrespon
bly leads to heroin" and “АП
«| political radicals me Con
." 1 would like to express my grati
tude to Dr, Joel Fort for a rational,
well-documented is holy,
honest piece on the
Play on, brother.

«c of our
1 subject to
le jive as

Mike Bourne
Bloomington, Indiana

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PLAYBOY

20

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© 1969, Yardley of London, Inc.

BRIDGE BUILDING

1 read Saul Braun's Alice and Кау and
s (pLavnoy, October)
and it struck me that something radical
is happening. Without pot, without sc
sitivity sessions, without beads and blue
jcans, my generation is turning on! How
else can you explain the popular success
of a movie like Alice's Restaurant or
show like Hair? Isn't it absolutely a
tounding that we, the over 40 generation,
will pay 515 a seat to sce a plotless mi
sical about pot, rock, wa tio, mixed
couples and masturbation—and be
thoroughly delighted? Years ago, 1 read
а book titled The Lonely Crowd, by Da-
vid Riesman. I felt, then, that it ended
poorly, with a frail statement about the
future. Now I see his conclusion as a
revelation and minor prophecy

Js it conceivable that . . . Ameri-
cans will somediy wake up to the
fact that they overconform . . . dis-
cover how much needless work they
do, discover that their own thoughts
and their own lives are quite as
interesting as other peoples . . .
then we might expect them to be-
come more attentive to their own
[eelings and aspirations.

Mrs. J. Kramer
Chicigo, Ilinois

LONESOME ROAD

I have just read Revelations, by Asa
Baber (PLavnoy, October), and I'm com-
pletely devastated. 1 don't know where
or how Baber acquired his insights into
the trucker's mentality, but the portrait
of Oswald is incredibly lifelike, More
than that, 1 can't help but think that

а portrait of contemporary man—driven
by his work past the limits of body and
mind to the point at which the monsters

in the sky become heralds of his death.
Hopefully, we can learn something from
her's perceptions and realize that the
time may come when it makes better
sense to pull off the road and relax.
John Whitney
Nashville, Tennessee

‘Thanks to rravnoy and Asa Baber lor
Revelations, а truly overpowering picce
of fiction. Despite the snotty intellectual
stercotype of truck drivers as violent,
pillpopping rednecks, Baber makes it
that they are neither more nor Jess

n.

Richard Stein

pages next month.

SISTER JEAN

Hallelujah, glory
is Iree at last! Thanks so very much fo
admitting that black is beautiful. You
October Playmate, Texas lass Jean Bell,

lelujah, rLavnoy

is lovely, sexy. lively, smooth and, of
course, colorful.

Venice, California

Barbara McNair, Paula Kelly
Jean Bell, your October Playmate. Im
happy to sec that rravnov, always in the
vanguard of liberal progress, is mak
an cllort to show its readers that sex-
and beauty have nothing to do
with the color of one’s skin. Jean Bell
is absolutely out of sight.

Ronald М

Detroit, Michig:

nd now

FORWARD MARCH

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed
The Truth, by Harry your
October issue. While comparisons with
Joe Hellers Catch-22 are obvious, Brown
must be included among those writers,
both serious and comic, who realize the
inanity and absurdity of military life and
thought, His hero says it best himself
with the last semence of The Truth:
“There's something malevolently wrong
and rapaciously rouen in the Land of
the Pilgrims’ Pride, and it could be
the fault of its funny little cutrate,
сотісорега Army.”

Bernard Larner
Chicago, Illinois

TROUBLE IN MIND

Morton Hunt's October article, Crisis
in Psychoanalysis, i$ a compreh
and readable presentation of our present
situation. If psychoanalysis is treating
patients three to five times a week by
Freudian analysts according to the classi-
cal model, then it is on the w But
psychoanalysis is far more. It is psy-
choanalytic concepts and. principles that
have deeply influenced. many aspects. of
20th Century life. Not у have all
disciplines. in the humanities and the
sciences, behavioral and otherwise, been
influenced but, throw media,
psychoanalyt ing and terminology
have entered into the minds and speech
of the lowest socioeconomic groups. In
short, psychoanalysis remains the most
versatile tool for the investigation of the
human psyche and for refining our un-
derstanding of those factors that make
psychotherapy possible and effective.

Harold Kelman, M. D.
New York, New York

Dr. Kelman, past president of the
American Academy of Psychoanalysis, is
currently the dean of the Program for
Psychoanalytic Medicine at the Postgrad-
uate Genter for Mental Health and is a
former dean of the American Institute
for Psychoanalysis.

Morton Hunt describes some of the
methods of what I have called behavior
therapy and then asserts that “no matter
what the anti-analysts claim, and no mat
ter what the analysts claim, there are no

The first car stereo that lets you
park in your living room.

Now you can bring some of the
comforts of your car into your home.
With the Panasonic "Monte Carlo."
An 8-track, 4-channel stereo tape
player. That converts toan FM
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And moves from your car to your.
home as fast as you do.

Just turn the key and pull the
unit out of the ingenious Lock-Tight
bracket that fits under the dash.

(Stereo thieves will be very
disappointed. But your date won't.)
And your ^Monte Carlo" is ready
toroam.

То your den. To your boat. Or
wherever you keep the stay-home
part of this system, the Panasonic
С]-858. A walnut grain cabinet that
our hero below is slipping the “Monte
Carlo” into to convert the unit from
12-volt battery operation to house

current, For use with your
own speakers, or our two-
speaker system, CJ-218U,
shown on the shelves,

By just slipping a tape
cartridge in, you can listen
to 80 minutes of music.

;, Uninterrupted. Or if you're
just in the mood for part of.
the tape, the unit’s
automatic channel changer

lets you select the part that
you want.

Slide out the tape cartridge.
Slip in an FM stereo pack. And you
convert your tape player to an FM
stereo radio. Automatically. The
same with an AM radio pack. Even
if your mind's on other things, the
whole works is easy to handle.
Because Panasonic engineers used
Solid-State devices to make them
powerful, yet compact.

They're also easy to enjoy.
Because a dual channel amplifier
delivers clean separation and
amazing depth. So drums sound like
drums, And strings like strings.

Drive over to any dealer we
permit to carry the Panasonic line
and listen to the “Monte Carlo.”

А сат stereo that’s great for
home entertainment.

ASONIC.

ahead of our time.

PLAYROY

2

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reliable comparisons of effectiveness, no
controlled studies of matched groups of
neuroties, no belore, during and after
studies in depth. Indeed, there are no
scientifically adequate studies within any
one type of therapy, let alone compara
tive studies." These finc. rolling phrases
would be appropriate if the facts were a
stated; unfortunately, the claims made
are simply inconea. In my recent ad
dress to the International Congress in
Psychology, I was able to cite about 20
well-controlled studies comparing beh
ior therapy with psychotherapy; the ou
come in nearly every case was that
behavior therapy produced better effects in
much less time. Under no circumstances
behavior therapy found to be infer
огап astonishing result, as beluwi
therapy in many cases was done by ps
chologists with litle experience and
nt training in behavior therapy. The
ts are that psychoanalysis has made
tremendous claims and has been ove
sold; slowly, the pigeons are coming
home to roost. More amd more psychia-
wrists аге beginning to realize that, as а
therapeutic technique, psychoanalysis. is
a failure. They can also sce, unless they
have been sufficiently brainwashed to turn
ay their eyes, that with all its crudity
and youthfulness, behavior therapy
works. "These are the [acts that in the
long run will determine whidi of these
two approaches will survive. I have little
doubt about the outcome.
Н. J. Eysenck
Department of Psychology
University of London
London,
Hans Jigen Eysenck is one of the
pioneers in the development of behavior
therapy.

I enjoyed reading Morton Hunt's per-
ceptive and informative article Crisis in
Psychoanalysis, but perhaps the best com-
ment on the incut death of psy-
choanalysis is still Freud's own, made in
At least a dozen times in recent
. in reports of proceedings of cer-
iti »blies
п reviews of certain publications, 1
have read, ‘Psychoanalysis is dead, at Last
defeated and finally abolished!“ The
answer to might be like that of
Mark Twain in his telegram to Ше news-
papers that falsely reported his death:
Report of my death grossly exaggerated,
Leon Waldoft
Urbana, Minois

or

Much that appears in Crisis in Psy-
choanalysis, by Morton Hunt, is quite
relevant. The emphasis and focus, how-
ever, might create false impressi
Looking at the same set of facts, 1 find
no significant crisis in psychoanalysis
but, rather, the labor pains leading to a
new growth and а new direction. It is,
like other sciences, changing its theory
and practice, The crisis, il it exists, is in

ns,

thodox" Freudian lysis, which was
opposed by Freud himself, Fortunately,
many medical analysts have broken with
orthodoxy. The “Freudista,” as Theodor
Reik characterized them, those more
Freudian than Freud, who insist that
only medical doctors сап practice and
that analysis exists only when a pa
is seen four, five or
deserve to be in a
tune of all creative gei
and crucified during their lives
to be mummified, deified and
alized. Such has been the lot of Freud,
whose lile and work exemplified a grow
ing science and art and bean little re-
semblance to the rigid, doctrinaire body
of knowledge and practice used as the
authoritarian, unalterable word of truth
for all time. Were he alive, he would
welcome many of the newer theories and
practices stemming from his discoveries.
Matthew Besdine
New York, New York
Psychoanalyst Besdine is clinical. pro
fessor of psychology and supervisor of
Adelphi University’s postdoctoral pro-
gram in psychotherapy, supervising psy-
cholozist of the Metropolitan Genter [or
Mental Health, a staff member of the
Institute of Practicing Psychotherapists
and а charter member and president of
Reik's National Psychological Associa-
tion for Psychoanalysis.

А Liter

HOME RUN

No doubt about it; Baseball Joc in the
World Series, by Larry Siegel (PLAvBoy,
October), was tops. There was only one
other time I can remember that might
rival it, but certainly not tie it. In a
game in which 1 played against the Yan-
Kees at old Sportsman's Park in S.
Louis, we had a pitcher named Shux
Profit, who had a peculiar pitch that he
called “the delayed screwball,” He was
pitching against Babe Root one time
when he threw him this pitch. The Babe
swung four times, each time with pro-
grossing velocity while the ball was com-
ing up to the plat, and the last time
with such vigor that 8000 fans in right
field wound up in a mess in front of the
Y. M. C. A. building across Grand Avenu

The Damn Yankees should have be
called the Dumb Yankees, because they
failed to fathom the one way Baseball
Joe could have been defeated. All they
had to do was to put three kernels of
corn on the fat part of their bat and
when his "chicken bali" stopped in mi
to peck, it would have caused contact
and no doubt produced a

ай
with the
home run,

Te was
very much.

bai

nd 1 enjoyed it

George Sisler
St. Louis, Missouri
A great defensive first baseman for St.
Louis (1915-1927) and Boston (1928-
1930), George Sisler was elected to the

Photo-surrealism

Raindrops on a window, inches from the camera. A girl on a beach, a hundred
feet away Both exquisitely sharp, which gives the picture its special quality.
But. how to do it without special equipment?

In theory, you'd first shoot the beach scene, focusing on the girl. Moments
later, alter rewinding the film one frame, you d focus on the rain spattered window
and make a second exposure. Quite simple, really Except that it's impossible
with most cameras because their lenses can't provide the tremendous focusing
range required.

With the Nikkormat FTN it was as simple as it sounds. This 35mm single
lens reflex is mace by Nikon end accepts the same interchangeable lenses as
the famous Nikon F. It was used here with the 55mm Micro Auto-Nikkor 13.5,
an unusual lens that can be focused for any distance from 2.3 inches all the
way to infinity (Imagine being able to use the same lens for life-size closeups
of flowers or insects as well as for portraits, kids, parties and the like!)

This is only one example of the uncommon — even "impossible — pictures
the Nikkormat FTN brings within your reach. Yet, for all its capabilities, it is
remarkably uncomplicated. Its unique thru-the-lens meter system, for instance,
gives you correct exposure instantly, for unusual pictures like this. And it’s yours
for under $270, including50mm Auto-Nikkor{2 lens. See your Nikon/Nikkormat
dealer. Or write for details.

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Nikkormat FTN byNikon

23

PLAYBOY

24

...and to all
d

THE TRUE OLD-STYLE KENTUCKY BOURBON

KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKY - БЕ PROOF -
EARLY TINES DISTILLERY CO., LOUISVILLE, KY. Октос vos

Baseball Hall of Fame in 1939 with a life-
time batting average of 341.

MEN BEHIND THE MAN
D have jus fi Experts
and Expertise, by Eliot Janeway, in du

October vi хуну. It is undoubtedly one
of the most fascinating insights that I
have ever read into the relationship of a
President to his economic advisors. It is
absolutely required reading for anyone
who is concerned with or interested in
our economic past, present and future.
To rtavwoy and to Eliot Janeway, my
compliments and congratulations.
Pierre André Rinfret
New York, New York
Dr. Rinfret, president of Rin[ret-Bos-
ton Associates, is a political economist
and financial analyst.

stated by Eliot

Contrary (0 what

ner price index was rising
about four percent a year and wage costs
were rising twice as fast as productivity
жаз improving, Admittedly, the situation
not as bad as it is now, but it was bad
enough to warrant firm count
d that is precisely what it got. Whether
recession in 19
in 1960 and 1961 was

voidable, while

still overcoming inflation, is too com-
plicated a question to discuss here;

but let me point out that our policies in
the second half of the Fifties succeeded
in (1) stabilizing the cost of living: (2)
bringing labor cos increases into line
with productivity improvements; (3)
restoring the country’s merchandise wade
balance to a healthy six billion dollars;
and (1) putting an end to the in-
Hlationary psychology. In this way, the
ge was set for expansionism and vig-
Orous growth without inflation in the
Sixties. Moreover contrary to fairly wide-
spread misapprehension—an. ex ansion-
ist policy was already under way in Lue
1959, as an examination of the relevant
figures on monetary expenditure
policies will show. The economy re-

sponded well to ex m and we
had good growth with litle or no in-
Пабот until 1065 Vr that point, the

emie legacy of sibility and balance
that was left by President Eisenhower
had been used up. Properly handled, th
stability could have lasted ind
and we would not today he faced with
wage and cost-of-living inlla far

the legacy w
er the Seventies in a thoroughly
ible posture for meeting the na-
mous problems and necds.
Raymond J. Saulnier
Professor of Economics
Barnard College
New York, New York
Professor Saulnier has written exten-
on economic policy and, as a

sively

Jormer member of the Federal Reserve
Board and chairman of President Fisen-
hower's Council o| Economic Advisors,

helped formulate the policies he de
scribes.
RING MY CHIMES
The October interview Rowan
and Martin is crammed with insights
for the student, as when. Martin
ys "We're mot se we're

selling а gay, freewheeling attitude," to
which Rowan adds: "We're telling a
new one before you have time to real
cady heard the last on
Mat “In essence, what we're
doing is cartoon humor.” The power of
TY to retrieve ancient forms and аці
tudes has only begun to be grasped

re

ginning of the dive into role pla
and costumes. Even Rowan and Mart
have just begun to tap the real enter
tainment resources of TV. They have
tured the iconic cartoon quality of
the scanning finger and the iconoscopc
tube. The theme of sex happens to be
at the moment because sex is
Т
fore, it is not funny. The real Rowan
and Martin hang-up, as in all TV pro-
graming, is the inability to take in the

audience as the main actor. The
andicuce is still treated as the d
of the movie and the radio. This is

where the Smothers brothers got tripped
up. They were still trying to package
their show. TV is not a medium for
packages nor for participants, There arc
no shows that recognize this fact yet. One
ght except football and sports in gen
1 where, without the audience, there
would be no game о broadcast
Personally, 1 ulate
LAYHOY for doing this sort of inquiry
into the act
ness. Perhaps it would be possible to
take a similar look at the huge
art” enterprise of our age: n
jroumenc of advertisi
2 and bigger budg
groups of talent than all the shows on
the air. This great art form is classified
“not dor inspectio 1 the
ecological world, it cannot es
longer. The aesthetes will soon n
Marshall MeLuhan
Director, Center for Culture
and Technology

University of Toronto
Toronto, Ontario

wish to

processes of show busi

awe
the

еу

ets and bigger

new
pe much
ove in.

1 enjoyed your interview with those
iwo great and
Martin. 1 used to know
show business by that. nam
they're any relation?
Henny Youn
New York, New York

philowpheis—Rows
two comics in
. L wonder if

one out
of four people
into our music
IS onto our
Stereo 8 Tapes.

0 >
They go on any trip youre on.

Whether your mind's on your playmate or the
Airplane or the Original Broadway Cast of
“Hair,” our Stereo 8 Cartridge Tapes get it right
on—with up to 80 minutes of uninterrupted
music and instant, push-pull operation.

Stereo 8 Tapes go where you go. A half-dozen
cartridges fit in your surplus jacket, her over-
night case. And the sound—well, it’s almost like
you're sitting in the studio at the original session.

Good reasons why one out of four people
listening to our music today is listening to the
Stereo 8 Tape. Shouldn't you be the one?
REA — Sueos

y boue Past Guat

Hand Ал

Tha Tct E Ciest

(non Sees
ITUR
FELICIANO 1070.23 | THN PAE f

GREGOR:
Î THE LGA sine: THe arn sme

Jh)

ributed by/RCA вес |

л
`

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

here's one on every Christmas list: a
jaded type who's been everywhere,
bought everything and still expects а
yuletide token of your esteem come De
cember 25. H the nifty gift items prof
fered in our Eleventh-Hour Santa on page
211 don't fill the bill, this annua supple
mentary selection of grandiose goodies is
guaranteed to blow the recipients mind
and, possibly, a bank balance or two.

Deep in the heart of Texas, diamond.
encrusted Neiman-Marcus—Dallay fore
most purveyor of fantastic lolderol—this

year is showcasing an item that's clearly
designed for someone who's stinking
rich: 100,000 gallons ol a giltee’s favorite
men’s cologne, toted to his doorstep
several shipments of 50 fivegallon ju
The price is only $5,000,000, including
delivery charge. Chances are that this
sweet smell of excess will be just enough
to offser the odor of another N
Marcus gilt selection—a. private peni
zoo that includes two. North American
burros, two New Zealand rabbits, two

iman

goats (a billy and a nanny), two long
haired Shetland ponies and two white
ducks, The entire menagerie goes for a

mere $1750, not including ark. As а
more modest alternative, you might pre
fer a Galápagos ture perhaps 10 be
used as a Freaky, peripatetic foorstool—
Tor only 51200; but allow five weeks for
Neiman-Marcus to locate the gilt. For
insecure salesmen who feel the need to
impress, Neiman-Marcus is aho offering
gold ca си (and 50 parch:

shaykskin case. Only

12 solid li
ment ones) in a
51500, engraving included.

Landlocked big businessmen. with lit-
de time to loll by the sca will dig a
1inchsquare Executive Sand Box of
teak, rosewood or walnut vencer that
comes complete with their choice of sand
from any beach in the world. About $556

j
(not including shipping charges) Irom

Opus International, Lad., 7 Ou-
tario. Or, ib you've a s friend
who really wams to ger away from it all,

sign him up for a transSahara expedi-
tion—via camel, jackass and Land Rover
—courtesy of Lindblad Travel, the same
band of happy New York-based wander-
ers who conduct tours to such [un spots

as the Galápagos Islands (possibly search
ing for Neiman-Marcus gilt items). Mon
golia, Antarctica and that idyllic watering
hole yer до be discovered by the jet set.
Easter Hand. The сом of the S;
sojourn is $2700, sunglasses not included.

Before the recipient hoifoors it for the
Sahara, make sure the girl he leaves
behind has buckled up lor safety by
equipping her with a fomrpound, hinged.
hand-lorged iron chastity belt that comes
with a padlock ап two keys—one 10 be
deposited with à trustworthy bank official
just in case ihe guy docsn'r ictum. Only
S60. plus S240 postage. sent to Ridgeway
Forge. Sheffield. England.

For svbaritie hippies who'd like to
drop out in groovy style, New York Iur-
rier Georges Kaplan has created an e
foot trampolinaype communal hammock
made of shaggy lambskin bordered with
stainless месі. The 55000 tag is really
something up your heels over

hara

to kick
Another Kaplan. furbelow is a macaroni
shaped, cowhidecoverad fur womb for
two, whieh iscight fect long and four and
one hall feet wide. the inside of which is
lined with long-haired fox. It’s the per
fect place to cuddle on at rainy afternoon
Гог only $4500. Lest we be accused of
pushing only Kapkun's costliest creations,
let us hasten to add that he abo markets
castonemade mink pants for men at

S2500 a pair. Someone you know may
wish to wear them with an equally ele-
gant. рай of black-suede ev slip-ons

with solid-gold buckles Irom the New York
shoe salon of Whitehouse È Hardy. At
S850. they're а shoc-in то sell fist, so step
lively; the limited supply is matched only
by the demand. Then complete the en-
semble by giving a Lucitesand-gold $750
wa ion)

Iking stick (perhaps for self-protec
from Keith, Lid., also in. Manhattan.

Diryminded. chess bulls on your. gift
list will be able to indulge both. avoca-
tional interests with a ceramic chess set
that's made to order from New York's
Gallery of Erotic Art. Each piece is хуше
bolically shaped: The king resembles a
phallus, the queen а vagina, prurient
pawns are puckered for a kiss, castles are
molded in the

sis, bishops are on their knees (not
ying) and knights are hugetongued
Pony up S750 without further
кейе
hoard) and then гу ло keep your mind
on the game.
H there are any spaced-out sky watchers
in your life, theyll flip when they un
wrap a bantery-powered GEOS3 Flying
Saucer Detector that, according to ihe
marketer—Sammy Paradice of Vidor,
Texas —buzzes when an unidentified fy
ing object is hovering зош. Only 510
(battery and postage included) sent то
Sammy, Or, if you'd like to launch vour
own UFO. Pacific Test Lab in Baldwin
Park, California, is peddling л gennine
NASAssurplus Mariner A Venus space
craft for $1,700,000 (not inchiding de
cry charges). The windmillahaped. ship
is only 80 percent assembled, but for an
additional $750,000, P. T. L. will put it
in perfect working order. ready for blast
oll. H's а oncolirkind item. however, so
order now to avoid disippointment
Should you know a lile of the рану
who has exhausted the possibilities of
lamp shades and lingerie, surprise him
with a Галілеа gorilla suit made of
symthetic black fur. Or he cam play with
his favorite goldilocks garbed in а life
like bear costume of the sume material
Roth hairy put-ons are from Morris Mag,

pr
horses.
foreplay (the price includes а

ic Co, Charlotte, North Carolina, at
S135 and $335, respectively. Budding bi
ologiss, on the other hand, will fall

hook. line and sinker for a res
shark permanently preserved. with form
aldehyde in a clearplawic tube. ust
55.08 (plus 55 cents for postage) from
Greenland Studios, Miami, Florida, And
ultrasensitive ladies on your list will love
a powder pull that’s made of genuine
beaver fur; it's for the face, in case you
жете wondering, Price: 5375. from
Caswell Massey, New York City.

N. R.A. types will get a kick out of a
bayoneted minirille letter opener, which
actually fires 2mm blank cartridges. Pre
sumably, it’s to be used only on regis
tered mail. Just $6.98 sent to J. P. Darby,
Esquire, New Hyde Park, New York
Peacemakers of it different sort may be
ppy to hear that the Church of

27

PLAYHBOY

28

Universal Brotherhood in Hollywood.
а, is ollering a mailorder doctor
ofdivinity degree that supposedly enti
tes the newly ordained man of the cloth

to conduct wedding ceremonies and visit
hospitals and prisons, Two requirements
are called for: The prospective. pastor

must be able 10 type or prim his name
exactly as he wishes it 10 appear on his
degree and he must contribute 512.
the Brotherbood's. coffer. Merry С
„ brother—and happy shoppi

Judging a book by its cover, censors in
Caperown, South Africa, have banned
the paperback edition of Free Gils
volume of photographic nude studies
Asked why the hardcover edition is still
tion, a bookshop manage
blinkingly explained: “The type ol per-
son who buys the softcover editions is
more likely 10 be corrupted.

If they were still around, the founding
fathers might be a bit unsettled by the
results of à poll in which some 250 U.S.
sold юпей in West Germany were
read the following sentence and instruct-
ed to sign the statement if they agreed
with it and nor to sign if they didn't:
“We hold these truths to be sell evident,
that all men are created equal, that they
< endowed by their Creator. with ce
tain unalienable rights, that among these
ve life, liberty and the pursuit of hap.
pines.” Three fourths of the Gls relused
to sign.

Our very own Business Ma
Preuss, obviously in a playful mood,
issued the following interoffice memo
“Please note that in accordance with the
wishes of the Federal Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission, so as not to
discriminate against either men or wom
en as a group. the newly darified compa-
ny regulations about pregnancy leaves
of absence apply to male as well as fe-

je employees”

cr, Bob

narcotics raid on a
ke Tahoe, California,
not long ago, police came across а stoned
mouse lying on its back, glissv-eved, with
its feet in the air. Investigation showed
that the rodent
imo a bag conta
olficer in charge of the bust dutifully
reported that the suspect was picked up
for further questioning but responded
only by wiggling its feet when its stom-
ach was tickled,

While conduct
house in South L

Sign of the times scrawled in a femi-

nine hand in a Chicago el station: war-
TER BLACK'S ty BEAUTIE
Our Humanitarian of the Month

Award goes to Admiral Donald C. Davis,
who banned am auto from Pearl E
bor's 0 rd because the car carried
a peace symbol on the windshield. Peace

avy

ited, he said, "because
re a cause of possible violence.”

La Guardia Airport is sporting a Mad-
ison

stickers are prol
they

Square Carden hockey ad that
shows a Canadien and a Ranger embrac-

ш. Underneath them is
DO YOU WANT TO SEE

e inscription:
SOME GAY BLADES?

Froton
api

Among the

al con-

es, take note:
s discussed at the Tast
vention of rhe Pacific branch of the
Luromologicil Society of America was
the role of a volatile female sex phero-
mone in simulating male courtship be
havior in the Drosophila melanogaster.”

So There Department: Understand
ably offended by Тома decision to clas-
sify the sunflower, Kansas’ stare flower,
as а noxious weed, Kansas legislators
have struck back by declaring the East
ern goldfinch, the lowa state bird,
public nuisance.

Florida's Fort Lauderdale News carried
this suggestive listing lor the Thunderbird
Drive-In Theater: "The Game Is Over u
8:15; Girly That Do at 9:45: The Spy
Who me at M.

"Neither snow nor rain nor gloom of

night According to U P.I. a business
mau in Wellington, England, received а
letter with а note on the envelope from

the pow. office т
Snails.”

en by

The world’s first nude ski resort was
scheduled 10 open this winter at Naked
ma nudist colony. Ir w:

turally—Sec and Ski.

is 10

be called.

ACTS AND
ENTERTAINMENTS

is а hexagonal stump of a
platform, surrounded on three sides by
ly colored. benches for speaators;
niervening space—which becomes
азу rial or undersea setting at the
lick of a light switch—the gods of antiq.
uiy indulge in their favorite pastimes:
Jove dellawers lo. who is transformed
imo а heifer by jealous Juno and guard-
ed by Argus of the thousand eyes; Vul-
can caches Mars making it with his wife,
Venus, whom he has neglected in order
10. provide the wargod with suitable ar
mor; and so on. The place is storefront
at 2259 North Lincoln Avenue in Chi
cigo, which Paul Silly—first director of

Second Cic converted last October
into it baret theater called The Body
Politic (with backing Irom Mike Nichols

and Elaine May). The production is a
robust rendering оГ seven erotic tales
adapted from Ovid's Metamorphoses by
Arnold Weinstein. Under Sills's direc
the show maintains what poet Ch
Olson would call

charge" at all points: it's a no-bullshit
celebration ol lile and the forces that per
petuate it. In a risky maneuver that comes
ой well, the players substitute third-person
ration for dialog most of the way, re
ng the lines that describe their actions
as they perform them: much of the total
due to the excellent pacing, s
and movement (the latter comes dose
10 being choreography); and the energetic
happenings are augmented by
Olympian offstage voices, suikingly suit
able rock songs and a more-than-incidental
score composed by Bill Russo and a pair
of youthful Qoubadours—Chr
and John Guth—who get a st
range of sounds from their electric gui
The use of elearicity for aural and visual
emphasis reinforces the sexual
that animates the production
leaves the theater with juices allow: al
though the actors dont really make it,
they mime it with enough soulful cony
tion so that it's all believable and beauti-
ful. And that—for gods or hu
ntiquity ог poserity—is where its at
The scantily dad cast of six Chuck Bart
let. Cortis Геје. Jim Keach.
McKeson, Bernadine Rid
Towles—swings into action at 8:30 p.
with add
Friday and

shows

the experience is pure jov
Books

Once ure 10 direc:

in, it is our pl

vour attention to an array of impressive
gilts designed io stir the mind and jog
the spirit. From the publishing field this
season, we reaped a choice harvest,
guaranteed to satisfy readers (and even
some nonraders) of the most diverse
predilections

Evidence that a gift book can be both
sumptuous and substantive is available
iu the form of Quolity: Its Imoge in the Arts
(Atheneum), Editor Louis Kronenbe
has collected an estimable company to
deal with such enduring conund
aesthetics as whether artistic
ibjective or objective, and each
is accompanied. by illu i
tions, The quality of Quality is i
in the list of contributors, wh
Bentley on theater, Walker
on photography, Joseph W
gastronomy, Richard Ebel
L
old Rosenberg on
our hat to Marshall Lee, who conceived
of the project and oversaw its production
10 а gratilying conch

In The Lives of the Pointers (Norton).
New York Times critic John Canaday
applies а broad brush to the history of
Western art. The hrs three volumes ot
this handsome four-velume set are devot
ed to essays on some 450 painters, hom
Cimabue to Cézanne, and the

is of

values arc
essay

Evans
on

fourth

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PLAYBOY

30

offers a generous sampling of their work
—more than 500 reproductions, 176 ol
them in full color. All in all, a pleasur
able introduction to a pleasurable subject.

American Painting (Skira) is proudly
served by the two splendidly illustrated
volumes of that title, Volume one, w
ten by Yale professor Jules David Prown.
takes us [rom the beginnings of port
ture in the Colonies ("The most obvious
fact about Early American painting is
that there was so little of to the
Armory show, that surpassingly impos
tant succès de scandale of 1913. Volume
two, by Sarah Lawrence profesor Bar
bara Rose, carries us on through the
1960s, right up to op, pop and other
offshoots of abstract. expressionism, De-
spite all reservations about the direction
taken by American painters of recent
years, these volumes leave no doubt of
the vitality of our nation's art, yesterda
and today.

Rembrandt: His Life, His Work,
(Abrams) is an impressive tribute to
that g timed for the 300th
anniversary of his death. In addition to
the masters paintings, drawings and
sketches, this hefty volume contains per
tinent prints of other artists of 17th
Century Holland —612. illustration all
told, including 109 hand-tipped plates in
full color. Along with the astutely select
ed and tastefully displayed pictures goes
a lengthy commentary by Bob Hiak.
former curator of Amsterdam's famed
Rijksmuseum, full of insights into. the.
anti and the nation and age that he
adorned.

Shortly before he died im 141
celebrated French patrou of the
Jean, Duke of Berry, commissioned a
Book of Hours for his personal use. The
resultant masterpiece, The Trés Riches Heures
(Braziller) was not completed until 70
rs after his death, and it has take
rly 500 years more lor a publisher to
we us the full, cxact-size reproductio
in four colors and brilliant gold. Con:
ing of a calendar with scenes of daily lile
during each month of the year, as well as
illustrated texts of Biblical passages, the
Très Riches Heures is to be richly tr
ured both as а superlative work ol
and for what it tells us of 15th Century
France.

Tomi Ungerer, whose artwork has ap
pened in rrAvmov, makes a powerlul
editorial statement in his Fornicon (Khi-

is Time

noceros Pres). Through a series of
bizarrely erotic drawings, the sex act is
machine-domi-

prese
nated ritual wherein technology triumphs
over humanity; it's as though Rube
Goldberg had been invested with the
spirit of the Marquis de Sade. Fornicon
is available both in a signed, limited
edition of 500 and in a regular edition.
For just $375, you can pick up a copy
of The Doli Alice (Random House), which,
as the name suggests, is Alice's Adven-
dures in Wonderland enhanced. һу 13

“mixed media original" of Salvador Dali.
Only 2500 copies arc being printed, and
your own copy will be signed in pencil by
Dali, whose contributions include а fou
color etching of Alice, as well as 12 11147
x 17” woodcuts—one for each chapter of
the book. This unique creation comes in
а case-poitfolio— 1814" x 1234” x 234"—
made of linen and leather over heavy
board. Alice will survive it, but we do
gret that Lewis Carroll
give his opinion of the project.
Commissioning Leonard Baskin to do
justrations for a new three-volume
translation of The Divine Comedy (Gross-
min)—by Yale University Dame scholar
a apt idea
Baskin's work has always suggested that
the artist had some acquaintance with
the denizens of the пейит world. Now,
а 115 washed line drawings, the winner
of the National Institute of Ans and
Letters gold medal takes full advantage
of the opportunity to exorcise some ol
the nightmares that evidently crowd his
brain, as they did that of Italy's greatest
poet.
la the memorable summer of 1968, the
celebrated photographer David Douglas
Duncan focused in on the two national
political conventions for NBC News. His
wor а. Now he puts uy
doubly in his debt with Self-Portrait: U. S. A.
(Abrams), a collection of 325 exceptional
blackand-white photographs drawn from
that assignment. Among the Republi
in M i and the Democrats in
cago, Duncan tells us, he sought ou
best, worst, most mediocre, uptight . .
Nixon, Rockefeller, McCarthy, Hun
phrey, hippies, paraders, protesters, pro-
fessors, Negroes, delegates, dreamers, cops
and their killer dogs, wounded Vietnam
veterans, wounded McCarthyites, wound-
ed spirits along the side lines—pictu
almost all of us Americans of one breed
or another. . .." Duncan has captured the
in a troubled hou
Chicago photog:
apher with am international following
aud a gilt f ng the human
figure with infin wd dignity. А
collection of black-and-white figure studies
4 that applies to both the subjects
ad the photos), suctinaly labeled
Skrebneski, has just been published by
Ridge Press in a slipceed edition. In
uded is the now-famous shot of Va
Redgrave used to promote. The Loves of
Isadora
View a pop-culture
decade and concentrating on its London
popping. Cockney photographer David
Bailey and showbiz reporter Peter Evans
have put together a large volume that is
very much of a piece with the phenome
non it purports to be studying. Goodbye
ВсЬу & Amen: A Saraband for the Sixties
(Goward McCann) offers tricky shots of
Christine Keeler, Twiggy, Malcolm Mug-
gcridge, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones,

Cni-

es ol

ng the Sixties
ti

Andy Warhol, the Earl of Snowdon and
a batch of other in-today, where-tomorrow
people, along with some harmless com.
ments about them.

Christopher Hibbert makes a lively
guide for The Grand Tour (Putnam). which
attracted generations of rich and lively
young Englishmen in the 18th and early
19th Centuries. They were, we suppose,
precursors of today's jet set—but consider-
ably more interesting and more advent
ous. As the selections offered by historian
Hibbert attest, there were some exceed
ngly bright literary lighis among the
Grand Tourists—Gibbon, Boswell d
Wordsworth, to name but a few. Their
nees and rellections, se in an
ormative narrative and adorned by
uncommon illustrations, add up to a most
satisfying volume.

Lure of the Caribbean (Rand McNally).
which features 270 tush color photos by
Ted Crolowski, with "me
by Donald Stainsby, takes the reader on
a erescentshaped. tour from the Virgin
Islands to Trinidad. I's no substitute for
making the scene in person. bur irs
guaranteed 10 stir up whatever wand
lust ome has Lurking within h

For nearly 200 ye, Baron. Munchau.
sen has held title to the role of the most
engaging liar in European storytelling.
Created in 1785 bv R. E. Raspe, the
dashing Munchausen, who could relate
in matter-of-fact fashion how he kelped
several thousand sailors of all nations
escape from the belly of a large dish by
erting the mast of а ship between ity
palate and tongue, has been an inter
national favorite. Now, in The Adventures
of Baron Munchausen (Pantheon), British
illustrator Ronald Searle added a
generous supply of lus own brand ol
lunacy to that of the worthy Baron. A
hearty welcome to them both.

John Masters! Casanova (Geis) is a lively
retelling of the amours and adventures of
that most dventurist, Masters,
a British anny ofhcer turned American

has

amorous

writer, conveys the affection and admin)
tion he obviously feels for the 18th Cen
tury master of many trades; the tales of

his connings and consonings make easy
reading. Unfortunately. the production oi
the book is not up to its subjea; €
nova, a gentleman of good taste and bad
temper, would probably have stabbed the
publisher.

The nevernever world of filmdom's
moguls has been invaded by Arthur
Knight and Eliot Elisofon. In The Holly-
wood Style (Macmillan). film critic Knight,
co-author of rrsvnov's The History ol
Sex im Cinema series, supplies the com
ments to go with photographer Elisolon's
photographs of the mansions, hotels, clubs
d theaters created to the tastes of Holly
wood greats, from Cecil B. De Mille 19
Charlton Heston, from Mary Picklord to
Steve McQueen. Whatever one's opinion
of these tastes, which have often run to
overstuffed furniture and potted palms,

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PLAYBOY

32

The Hollywood Style captures
traordinary piece of the Ame

The Blues Line (Grossman / Mushinsha), a
collection of blues lyrics gathered together
by Eric Sackheim and interspersed with
blackandwhite and sepia drawings by
Jonathan Shahn, is a moving and monu-
mental elfort. It is, in effect. a body of
folk poetry encapsulating the lile and
times of the American Negro. The 400-
plus pages cover the words of such leg-
cndary musicians as Ma Rainey, Blind
Lemon Jefferson, Leadbelly, Big
Broonzy and Besie Smith in a work of
еріс dimensions.

The 1904 Hendbook of Gasoline Autemo-
biles (Chelsea House) is ostensibly a re-
production of a catalog published by the
Association of Licensed Automobi
ufacturers, a group that p
George Selden because he held a patent

that named him the inventor of the gaso-
utomobile. PLAYBOY Contributing
lior Ken W. Purdy. in а Газа

introduction, outlines Selden’s temporary
hold on the industry, which ended with
Henry Ford's cowtroom triumph in 1911.
The cars are elegant, for the most part,
and the book is a tempting slice of auto-
motive history of interest to both buff
nd beginner
Foods of the World (Time-l
cook's tour of cooking here,
everywhere. Each volume of
sive series celebrates the cu
single find. complete with histo
trations and more than. 100 recipes cho-
sen by those knights of the dining table,
James Beard and Michael Field. Here
gift that ought to guarantee the giver an
vitation to dinner—and the dinner
ought to be interestin
The Pipe Book (Macmillan) is a complete-
ly updated version of Allred Dunhill's
notable history of stems
the makeshift clay creations of Africa
India to the sophisticited. European mod-
els of today. Cigar fanciers, for their part,
have availuble The Connoisseur's Book of the
igar (McGraw-Hill), an almanac of stogie
lore by Geneva tobacconist Zino Davi-
doll. Davidolf proves himself a
n ol wit and sensibility as well
expertise. He writes: “Never under a
circumstances light up another cig
fore ten or fifteen minutes have g
two cigars one after another show
cither obsessed or base.

) offers a

Except for a brief introduction by the
author, Tom Hayden's Rebellion and Re-
pression (World) is not a book by this
embauled radical but, rather, а tran-
script of his appearances before the Na-
tional Commission on Violence and the
House Internal Security Committee (nee
the House Committee on Un-Amer
Activities). The witness is very much
himself—candid but careful not ío be
trapped, unintimidated, self-assured
Hayden, who is by no means а pacifist,
makes provocative distinctions between

civil disobedience (which
йу' right to punish) and outright oppo-
sition to illegitimate authority. He finds
violence generally counterproductive in
American society and advocates, instead,
the creation of “a movement of political
guerrillas,” people who “use the political
concepts of guerrilla warfare without the
weapons or the guns. The political con-
cept of guerrilla warfare is to make your-
self at one with the people you are
trying to organize, be among them, go
day-to-day existence, live
on the same budget they do. and organ-
ize them imo а political force.” A main
source of interest in Rebellion and Re-
pression is Hayden's ability to keep his
onem, especially on the House
iuec, off balance. Parts of the tran-
pt suggest the theater of the absurd:
1 Ichord: “Let there be order
Hayden: “There is no order-
is what 1 am getting at, Mr. Chairma
The witness keeps his cool until, fi
he is asked: “Don't you think that the
young people who follow you in these
various movements should take a second.
look. at you, before they place their lives
nd their responsibilities in [your] hands?”
His reply: "Shit." Ar the end of his testi-
mony, uying to get in the last word,
Hayden declares: "You exist only formal-
ly: you exist officially, but you have lost
ill authority, amd when a group of people
who have power lose their authority, then
they have lost. You have lost, period." But

cepts author-

ivs not that simple. Hayden himself spent
ago as one of

ast fall bei
cight delend:
connect

g tried in Ch
s accused of conspiracy
n with the violence at the 1968

Democratic Convention. The power Д
which America's. “revolutionaries” have
to contend is, to say the least, formidable,

whether or not its authority is legitimate.
‘The winner has not yet been declared.
In an age of literary specialization
(Cheever om suburbia, Updike on cou-
ples Roth on Roth), it’s remarkable to
see a threedeter man di
jeld. John Fowles—who m
with The Collector. that sullocatingly
authentic study of a lower-middleclass
psychotic, and followed that with his
high-scoring tour de force, The Magus—
establishes his versatility in spades with
his latest and best novel, The French Liev-
tenont's Woman (Little, Brown). Th
ious undertaking. Fowles
no less than to invade the historical he:
of Victorian England with pos Beatle
sensibilities. What is more, the author lets
his 20th Century hand show several times
during the telling, even to the point of
addressing the reader in а consultative
way about the possible progress of his
моу. The chief dd Charles
Smithson. a very fine upperckiss chap,
whose propensities and position would
scarcely seem to lead toward tragedy. Yet
that ds where the author takes him.
Charles is not only of the socially elite but

aml

acter is

of the spiritually elite as well. Blessed with
. with his class freedoms, a good
ad a fatal curio»
1 lands
outside the hermetic world of Victorian
ism. Endowed as he is, Charles has m
ther artistic nor scientific genius, and the
beautiful point made by the author is
that only genius could guide such a man
safely out of his time. The catalyst of
Charles's undoing is Sarah Emily Wood.
ruff, an enigmatic female who emerges
almost dangerously as a symbol rather
than a woman. She is the underworld
itgeist of Viciorianism, the spirit that
informs Charles of the essentially anti-
human modalities of his day. Because of
her. Charles breaks his engagement, a
break not only of the heart but of the
most sacrosanct codes of Victorian Eng
land, а break that makes him an ouicast.
Irs difficult to believe in a woman like
Sarah, but then, its dificult to believe
that men could have laced themselves
into the strait jacket of Victorian th
ing and behavior. But the two anomalies
balance out, and the result is a compel
ling novel

A revolution has taken place in money
management in (he past ten years. Bonds
are out; stocks are in, Banks, insurance
companies, universities, trusis and funds
are paying upward of $1,000,000 a year
to men who know which way the birds
going to fly before it leaves the nest
Prudence in the preservation of capital
(plenty of bonds, and stocks only in the
top 100 companies) has given way to
“total performance," whereby the port
folio you manage must outperform all
others (which means going with comp:
nies such as Natomas, Mohawk Data, Gull
and. Western, Zimmer Homes). The Money
Managers (Random House) offers profiles
of 19 of today's hottest investment. ex-
pens, drawn by Gilbert Kaplan (see On
the Scene, rx Ynov, July 1969) and Chris
Welles from the pages of The Institution
al Investor, the magazine for pros. They
are young, 30 to 10, live modestly and are
completely and irrevocably dedicued to
the growth of capital. Typical of the breed
is 5d:earold David Meid, who runs the
Francisco-based Winfield Growth
n 1967, Winheld gained 100 per-
. not far behind Fred Cam's Enter
prise Fund, though last year [1908] it did
slump down the list to а mere 164 per
cent. Still. his performance has consistently
far outstripped the Dow-Jones Industrial
Average amd, as of the end of 1965,
Winficld’s assets were $230,000,000, a six-
fold increase im the рам 12 months.
Meid reveals something about his invest
ment attitude that applies to most ol the
other gogo managers: “I am basically
buy-oriented. The good managers are al-
5 great bulls becuse they are the
the potential, . . - Really
I'm a fantastic optimist. I'm all offense.”
He points out that during bad times,

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was originally published over a three-year period. That is why the publishers |
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May we send you our special new
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33

PLAYBOY

34

most funds are bunched together, be-
tween 5 and 20 percent down, but that
during good timcs, the top managers
step way out ahead of the mediocre ones.
Te will be interesting to see how these
fierce optimists come out of the 1969
down market. As of presstime: badly.

With his first foray into fiction, y
Breslin is going to get himself in hot
water with defensive Italian-Americans
in general and maybe Frank Sinana in
particular. Lets hope that members of
the Майа, the subject of The Gang Thor
Couldn't Shoot Straight (Viking), don't h
out in bookstores. The most unusual
thing about this terribly funny book is
its authors candor about $ n foibles
ае frenzied religious superstition, the
tremendous egotism of the preening
males, the crude treatment of women
and the tendency toward verbal violence
—here couched in Tony-the-ba
dialect (“Shut up

› ) аз well
as the other kind. Although his charac-

ters are portrayed as pigs throughout—
по Runyonesque sentimentality here—
Breslin wisely confines them to the more
acceptable outrages such as larceny and
murder, skirting Mafia involvement with
heroin and whores and the like. His
arrogantly bumbling mobsters, while not
exactly lovable, are appealing in a way,
it you don't think about it too hard.
And this is definitely not a thinkin
man's book but onc for belly laughers.
resin may get away with all this under
the cover of art—plus his longtime ma
tal association with the former Rosemary
Datiolico. Better let your wife мап the
car in the morning, Jimmy.

Now that the baile over premarital
sex has been relegated to history books,
the battle over extramarital sex giv
every sign of escalating into the major
moral issue of the new decade. Two new
books signal the turn: The Affair (World),
by Morton M. Hunt, and Extromoritol
Relations (Prentice Hall), edited by €
hard Neubeck. rrAvnov contributor Hunt
looks at the conu y sene with
d 91 per.
ned various letters
s, conferred with marriage spe
nd utilized the findings of
specially designed questions
tape-recorded interviews spill over wi
там truthfulness that destroys the sterco-
types of unla thful husbands and wives.
Here is a promiscuous wife who breaks
up her home when she learns of her hus-
and's infidelity;
who ends a sordid affair and then discov-
ers that he is content—but never happy;
ad a genuine love affair that shatters two
empty marr nd leads to the lovers’
viage—which promptly blows up in
their faces, Such recognizable human
beings are nowhere to be found in the
potpourri of essays collected by sociolo-
gist Neubeck in Extramarital. Relations.

It belongs under dust on library shelves
—except for two contributions. One is а
tape-recorded discussion of infidelity by
several academics, which Neubeck makes
the mistake of presenting verbatim. The
aimless crossdiscussion is a fine carica-
ture of intellectuals talking about ses
Ihe other noteworthy contribution is
also full of academic jargon but despite
that, it is а research jewel. Over а period
of five years, sociologist Stephen E. Belz
studied the interlocking lives of five cou-
ples who were involved in extramarital
sexual relationships and, on the basis of
the results, he flatly contradicts the prev-
alent notion that infidelity can improve

isting marriages. Others can, and doubt-
less will, contest. Вени conclusions, but
at least they now have some solid evidence
10 consider.

Veteran mewspaperman and ошу
novelist Hoke Nor written a sharp,
short and unpretentious novel about love
lost and found. Ms Not For, but | Don't
Know the Wey (Swallow), a section of wl:
first appeared in PLAvnoy, is the stor
David Elliot and Joyce Harper, who
meet again in Chicago alter long sepin
tion, Joyce is now doomed, though she
does not yet know it, by breast cancer.
In the unexpectedly short time that re-
mains to them, David and Joyce become
lovers the joys and sub-
terluges of their first union. Norris writes
simply but evocatively: Even the minor
Characters seem truthlully observed. Al-
h the dialog is occasionally bookish
and stiff, Norris shows that he is a master
of the flashback: David's troubled South-
ern childhood and the lovers’ first poign-
ant night together xdled skillfully.
At the end, there's an ironic sadness in
store for David. What Norris has done
is give us a plain old-fashioned love story,
story also about time and memory that,
п this day of gaudy writing and gaudier
plot, goes down uncommonly well.

In his new book, Leve and Will
ton), existential psychotherapist Rollo
May comes on like Don Quixote. After
setting up his own particular windmills—
that intercourse today is all technique and
no feeling, that dillerences between the
sexes have been almost obliterated, th
men and women no longer believ
can control their own destini
doctor staris tilting psy-
choanalytic lances. Since he addresses him-
self primarily 10 fellow professionals,
who spend most of their waking hours

r around the di s their
May's rediscovery
and reformulation of such human
tues as love could prove instructive. But
to men and women who live out their
lives in the real world, it may seem odd
to be told that passion does not exist in
their lives, d they do not feel the fire
of love, that they have lost the аспу
to wish, to yearn, to will—in briel, that

psychotherapists must teach th
come human beings again. A cl
ture of man and modern society is
presented by theologian Harvey Cox (hi
latet article for rtavnoy, For Christ's
Sake, appears on page 117). In The Feast of
Fools (Harvard), Cox asserts that the
world, having "nearly lost its capacity for
either festivity or fantasy - . . is now begin-
ning to reclaim these neglected. dimen-
sions of life.” But in doing th n
finds Christianity an obstacle in his path.
“a relic of the past and an enemy of the
present.” With a cogent argument that
illuminates the relations ong re-
ligion, improvisation,
Cox pleads for the church to lead the way
back to an acceptance of life's disorderl
ness, ап acknowledgment of its ridicu-
lousness and a celebration of its jays. In
a world that lives under threat of cxtinc-
tion, no reasonable man is likely to a
with Cox when he concludes, "Lat
is hopes last weapon.” He who
lasts best.

In telling the story of an idealist in a
world of cynicism, Budd Schulberg tends
to load his liberal deck—but the game
he deals is still an exciting one. The
idealist іп Sesdeary V (New American
Library) is Justo Moreno Suarez, provi-
sional president of the Cuban revolu-
ry regime of Angel Bello (read Fidel
alter one daiquiri too
any. he publicly questions Bello's fir
tanon with the Communists. Bello pays

mistress, the Revolu-
ds amd

on with bodyg
прет

judging you.) Sensing that the Revolu-
tion is after his hide for daring to doubt
her virtue. our hero scinries into asylum.
in an unidentified Havana embassy, only
to be engulfed hothouse atmosphere
of corruption and machismo madness
more threatening than the one he lelt
behind. (Not the least of his problems
is protecting his ninny of a teenaged
daughter from A Fate Worse Than)
Other сам members include ап outra-
geously queer but gutsy poet, x white
ng, voodoo-motivated. peasant eade:
nd a former police chief who, in pre
revolutionary days, liked t turn. loose
genitalsearing dwarf on selected. prison-
ers. Schulberg, as we all know, knows
how to write a readable novel. If his
morality play has a Пам, it is that Mo
reno Suarez is 100 naively liberal for us u
swallow, Or is it just that in сапу 1970,
good old-fashioned idealism seems em-
Darrassingly anachronistic?

The heroine of John O'Hara's i
book, Lovey Childs, a Philadelphian’s Story
(Random House), was born Charloue

Le: and nicknamed Lovey by her
mother. From her childhood, it is clear
that Love a mind of her own,

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PLAYBOY

36

which, like the minds of her family and
friends, remains vacant as she grows. Her
father dies when she is 16 and, soon after,
a schoolgirl friend of Loveys seduces
Loveys mother, who likes it so much
she dykes and dipsos along until they
à her to the loony bin. Lovey then
arries Sky Childs and they live high in
New York

until Sky is involved in a
paternity sui Mier divorcing Sky in

is—what else?
a sob sister who's covering

Lovey likes it but not as a way of life
and. out of а yeu for men, she seduces а

Reno, Love -seduced by

+ the story.

priest who—whiar else?—goes back 10 hi
chapel and hangs himself, Then Lovey

meets her cousin Francis, who hay just
heen jilted by his cousin Rose. Lovey
and Francis ger married and live togeth-
er for the next 40 yea a team—out
of habit. Writing this sort of book, as
t, has become a habit with
O'Hara. Its time he broke it.

At 45, Malcolm Boyd, an Episcopal
priest who forsook the traditional minis-
try to bring the message of man's hu-
manity до man, has felt the need по catch
his spiritual breath after his recent years
of running with Jesus, As ! Live end
Breathe (Random House) is in Boyd's
aply a look at, and into, а
27 Because the facts of Boyd's
TV producer in Hol
lywood, his entrance into the seminary,
his forsaking of the formal pulpit for the
person-to-person encounters ol collechouse
confrontations and social activism—are
irly well known by now, it might seem
that am autobiography is overkill, But
this impressionistic self nation is
not only the perspective-giver that Boyd
perhaps needed; it is alo а no-holds-
barred glimpse into the mind and soul of
a most unusual man. Because Boyd be-
eves that а man's relationship to God
is wrapped up in, and illuminated. by,
his lile experiences with fellow human
beings, the book is built on a succession
of hundreds of such experiencescomi,
tragic, frightening, ennobling, edifying,
puzzling. Narrative is intercut with
mailed leue" w friends, fragments of
Boyd's poetry. Protestant hymns, vividly
etched vignettes of people and places. Ex-
i onized, joyful, ques

years as

but to make it better.

DINING-DRINKING

North Side, underwent a met
n which it acquired a new name
Cheminée (1161 North Dearborn
Suec)—new decor, а lot more foor
space and an ambiance that makes di
ag a delight. The red-brick walls and
the red tablecloths аге warm and invit-

ing: the personnel, most of
wonder of wonders—are French,
ecient and friendly (but not overly
familiar); and the luncheon and dinner
menus arc abrim with dishes to warm
the cockles of a gourmet’s heart. Dinner

à prix fixe and includes superbly
prepared main dishes such as Steak au
Poivre in flaming cognac, Poached Tu
bot with a Hollandaise Sauce that's ex-
ceptionally good, Roast Duckling with
Orange Sauce and Beef Wellington. For
openers, you can choose from among а
piquant pité, avocado stulled with king
crab and onion soup that’s several cuts
above the ordinary, The mixed-green
salad offered with the meal has а vina
grene sauce designed to turn on the taste
buds. The luncheon menu is nearly as
aried but more modestly priced,
with most courses under 54. lt was
our good fortune to be there when the
al was Vol-au-Vent, which was
less than splendid: preceded by
а superior Quiche Lorraine and accom-
panied by а small carale of entirely
satisfactory white wine, it made for a
first-rate luncheon, marred only by omni
present canned music completely out of
keeping with the surroundings Опе
other quibble: We wish the restaurant
were a little less diffident in lening the
public know where it is—the sig
side is minuscule and badly placed. As
n added dividend, La Cheminée oper-
tes Le Crenier, a piano bar located above
the restaur: featured, at this writ-
the piano and songs of Bobby H:
rison until 2 A.M. La Cheminée is open
for luncheon during the week from 11:30
to 2:30 and for dinner bom 5
11. Closed Sunday. For reservations, call
642-6654.

MOVIES

NO NAME CITY (POPULATION: DRUNK).
Under that disarmingly wicked legend,
scrawled on the gates to a goldrush
town, Point Your Wagon seis 3 new style
in $20,000,000 Hollywood musicals, which
re customarily geared to the family
uade. Not u wd. Produced
Lerner fom
ilies, with
André Pre g additional music
for Frederick Loewes original score,
Wagon has a new lightweight plot and
a nosethumbing attitude toward moral
conventions. While gold dust is plentiful,
there's hardly an ounce of propriety to
be found in No Name City, where Lee
Marvin and Clint Eastwood extend thei
partnership as prospectors by settling
down in a log hut with one wife between
them—winsome Jean Seberg, playing a
sexual pioneer gal who has been pur-
chased from a Mormon for $800. Their
easygoing ménage à Irois causes nary a
pple of outrage in a community of sa-
loons, bordellos and roughshod brawlers,

who tend to look upon the town's brim-
stone preacher as a kind of freak. In
this moral climate, small wonder that
the populace bursts into enthusiastic song
at intervals, or that the three principals
look so relaxed while overturning some
of the wholesome traditions of horse
opera. The only real voice to be heard
above the corn-pone beat of The Nitty
Gritty Dirt Band is that of Harve Pres-
nell, who handles the show stopping They
Call the Wind Maria, Jean amd C
sync their songs competently and Marvin
talks his—pretty well, too, for an actor,
who hus plenty of vitality bur very little
natural charm 10 take the rough edges
off a role made to order lor the late
Walter Huston, While its offhanded affa-
bility keeps Paini Your Wagon rolling
along, the bane of the enterprise is big-
ness as usual. Director Joshua Logan,
who abhors subtlety, seldom uses just two
horses or just one harlot when he can
have them cheaper by the dozen.

Ralph Richardson plays the wallto-
wall title sole of The Bed Sitting Room—
and literally changes into one by а
process of mutation following a nuclear
war that has lasted exactly two minutes
4 28 seconds. London is now a surrcal
postatomic trash heap, with the dome of
St. Paul's poking through the rubble,
While a pregnant girl (Rita Tushing-

a I7-month gestatie

Lowe,

as endea here'll Always Be
land types) аге also about to assume new
forms. Mum becomes а chest of drawers,
Dad a glum parrot. Scot

two Beyond the Fringe
Cook and Dudley Moore. who do th
gumshocing aloft in a wrecked touring car
slung under a gas balloon. Verbal puns,
sight gags and snatches of old musichall
routines abound, but only one in ten is
intrinsically funny: the rest seems rather
pointless and superimposed upon this
apocalyptic comedy by director Richard
still stumbling about, trying to
find a style of his own. How 1 Won the
War was the opening gun in Lester's
campaign to bring back the mad vitality
of the Marx. brothers and the timing of
Buster Keaton in a socially significant
cinema of the absurd. But the many
dichés about the insanity of war don't
really become more ful when
they're batted out of left held with
slapstick.

Take away the specious social and
psychological pretensions of Coming Apert
and almost nothing remains but a large
white sofa occupied by Rip Torn, your
not-very-cheerful host for an evening of
shionable sex. The game turns out
to be fitfully fascinating, thanks in large
part to the presence of Sally Kirkland,
n actress previously celebrated for her

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PLAYBOY

38

nude appearances in such off-Broadway
gambols as Sweet Eras and Tom Paine,
With and withour clothes. Sally leads
the procession of sexmiks mustered for
action on Torn's couch, not only spewing
Tourletter words but acting them out
s well without a tace of inhibition.
nd she is simultancously sad, [ui
vulnerable and obscene
psychoanalyst) who is liv
rowed apartment under
and appears to be coming apart, psychi
irically speaking. Estranged hom h
wile, he entertains hookers, his friend
wives, former p: ind. bright eyed
volunteers lor. MC while he ya
mers away about. truth
to persiade us that wei
Moses Ginsberg has something impori
to say on the subject of ton
America or lile itself. Forget it. Coming
{part is a sexploitation flick dressed up
in pos-Freudian jabberwocky, as poorly
lit as a 1932 stag film. with a scratchy
sound track 10 match. From time to time.
though, when the camera is in toas—
nd when Ginsberg isn't Haunting his
imateurism—some amusing sexual foibles
are rellected in the mirrored wall behind
the sofa. where absolutely all of the ac
unfolds. After Sally, the best of show
пе Viveca Lindfors, woman of the
world whose passion has cooled 10 the
point where she can verbalize it; Lynn
Swann, as a pintsize swinger who shows
up pushing a baby curiage; and Mega
McCormick, as a hilariously eager sa
ist who is turned on by

v.
"Torn plays a
in bor-

nt

-night fun and games for mar-
ried swingers in exotic California brings
oul AH the Loving Couples, the kind of
skin show that would have played in
cheap grindhouses before X. ratings gave
sex a fierun for its money. Though
made on the cheap, Couples delivers
suburban wifeswapping orgy as adver-
tised—with no copping out as in the
glossier world of Bob è Carol & Ted &
Hice, and with а fillip of honest insight
raunchy humor as well A tiny
moral leson—make of it what you will
—is tucked. quietly imo the bedclothes
by tagging one male among the four
funsccking couples as a Birchite. How
ever, little of the evening is wasted talk
politics, since all concerned seem
keenly aware that Friday comes but once
cach week, There ly time enough.
as it is for the group to indoctrinate а
new young couple (Barbara Blake and
Scott. Graham) who have just moved to
town and aren't quite sure whether they
want to social climb or just climb into
the sack. Apologizing for his kite arrival,
the new chap quips, “Is there а door
prize?” To which his snake-eyed hostess
answers, "You may be it.” That passes
for repartee in this fast co i

ryone nips over to
4 Johnson's for coffee, Not the

nearly dawn, when evi
How:

nicest people, but if
cnough to drop in, don't
warm you.

youre curious
y they didn't

Z is a first-rate political thriller. filmed
in French yet profoundly rooted in the
troubled history of modern Greece.
Based on the semidocumemary novel by
Greek expatriate Vassili Vassilikos, the
plot pointedly fictionalzes a real inci-
t brought about the fall of the

s government in 1963—when
mbrakis, a leftist Greek phy
nd activist. who opposed the es-
tablishment of American missile sites in
Greece, was run down by a delivery truck
as he left a protest meeting in Salonica.
Subsequent investigation proved.
Lambrakis “accidental” death w

army and the judiciary, Yves Montand
as the victimized mam. [rene Papas a
his widow and Jean-Louis Frintignant
in a brilliantly underplayed performance

as the cool Young magistrate whose
sleuthing brings hi st, to a show
down with his rm superiors

headli stellar n which per
sonalities are subordinate to the inevi-
table flow of events. The story is told
with the urgency of a newsbreak by
director Costa-Gavras, another displaced
Greek, who crowns his achievement. by
scrupulously avoiding every temptation
to preach. While irs leftist sympathies
re seldom in doubt, Z plainly concludes
that the ground rules are the same for
East and West—under capitalists, Com
munists or military dictators such as those
now in control of. Greece, Costa-Gavras
harshly authentic fiction is neither
pure example of film journalism nor
complete as a work of art. Yet with
enough intrigue and. excitement. reel b:
reel to eclipse. James Bond, Z takes its
place as one of the significant films of
this era.

e a

The 1930 Goodbye, Mr
Chips inched an Oscar for Robert Do-
nat and made Greer Ga a star. Bu
iu MGM's expensive remake of James
Hilton's sentimental novel about a rigid
English schoolmaster who is humanized
by the love of a good wo Peter
O'Toole and songstress Petula € k
plod along to no avail, finding cold
comfort in the Mickey Mouse words and
music that have been added to the story
by composer Leslie Bricuse. Terence
Kauigan's scenario is approximately ап
hour longer than the original and looks
and sounds а good decade older, as well.
The piece shows its age partly because
former choreographer Herbert Ross, in
his directorial debut, appears to believe
that he em modernize pe tear
jerker simply by redoing it with lows of
tricky zoom shots--Geodbye, Mr. Chips ri
visited by a helicopier-borne camera, P

version. of

son

а are sorely miscast and

big numbers as voice
nd music while strolling
«mv. panoramic views of the
ns at Pompeii or portions of English
coun Which may be as good a
way as апу for performers to keep the
distance from lyrics that distill the bitter
а quality of life in such lines
What a lot of lovely, preity lowers,

ухас,

References to William Burroughs, Dan

ny Cohn-Bendit, Chairman Мао, Viet.
nam. Cuba, Cahiers du Cinéma and free
Quebec liner the sound track of te Gai

Savoir (Joyful Wisdom) like the
lor shock troops besieging 1
dormitory. It should surprise no one that
this new foray into anti-cinema is the baby
emily
ven up all semblance of form and de-
cided t0 issue kinky philosophical tracts
from time to the spiri
him. Which would be all very

t moves
well if

running on an
couple (Juliette Berio and Jean-Pierre
ıd) who sit or stand or shuffle or
strike n an inky-black limbo while
they discuss the meaninglessness of lan
and the need for de-«cducuion.
у. Godard cuts 10 cartoon
s, pop posters and street scenes, as il
» illustrate—though. not. intentionally —
that images can be pretty meaningless.
too. Communication with his audience is
minimal, to say the most. As spokesman
for a generation in revolt, Godard is an
nelleaual washou He casts his ner
upon the contemporary world's troubled
wines, drags in a few fashionable clichés
of protest and mounts. them as if they
were trophies honorably won.

At best, the images of consummare evil
collected. in De Sade turn out to be amus-
ingly naive on film, despite a promising
array of production shots previewed Lus
June in eLavwoy. To frame a biography
of the infamous Marquis de Sade as a sir
istic play with play sounds feasible

h. except for one major drawback
the dogged medivaity of Cy Endfickt’s
direction and Matheson's «e
so expensively packaged
that an umwary customer might, at бам
glance, mistake it for onc of Fellini's sleek
and shimmering Gnematic sex lantasies,
this is litle more than dimenovel deca
dence. Keir Dullea. in the title role. runs
the gamut from dreamy perulance t0 boy
h exuberance—whether lapping straw
berry jam from the breast of a tasty harlot
or indulging in a thousand and one other
sexcesses, lew of which even remotely sug
gest the complexity of a man whose lurid
life and work not only reflected the vio
lence of his time (Europe before, during
d after the French Revolution) but also
profoundly warmed the di-
te of the Western world for

А Perfect Christmas Presence.

Our Scotch is quite a gift
at anytime. And now we've dressed it
in full holiday regalia.
(Our extravagant new Christmas package.
At no extra cost.)

100

le " B
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А YEARLONG CELEBRATION. The
mood is bright . . . because the gift is right.
PLAYBOY captures the spirit of the season—
keeps it glowing all year with:

* high-powered fact and fiction by eminent
writers like Arthur С. Clarke, Kenneth
Tynan, Irwin Shaw, Jules Feiffer and U.S.
Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas.
* Arresting interviews with men and women
in the limelight.

+ Financial finesse fram J. Pau! Getty.

* The cartoonery ond foalery of Erich Sokal,
Dedini, Gahan Wilson, Silverstein ond
Interlandi—plus Little Annie Fanny.

* The fine ort af living—PLAYBOY style—in
terms of food, drink and male fashions;
the latest in jazz and pop; film, play, book
and record reviews AND much more.

STILL TIME . . . to place your gift
EN at PEAYBOY S apu Sasa YES
holiday gift rotes. Just $10 for your first one-
year gift (c $3.00 saving off single-copy
price). Only $8 for each additional one-year
gift [o big $5.00 saving). Send us your. list
today and we'll da the rest. Don't worry
abaut o check . , . we'll bill you later.

SWING WITH THE HOLIDAYS . . .
in a relaxed mood ... knowing you've chosen
the smartest way to entertain the important
men on your gift list. PLAYBOY really knows
how to treat a mon—all year long—to the
finest in masculine entertainment. Make this
Christmas date for him with PLAYBOY now
before time runs out.

TWELVE REASONS NOT TO BE
LATE. From the first glittering issue until the
festive finale, you have given your friends a
year-round package of fun, fact and fictian,
a dazzling dozen of provocative Playmates
plus much mare that makes PLAYBOY's big $1
issues fascinating opening all year. And his
gift includes the $1.50 December and January
Holiday Issues.

SHE LL BE THERE. Just before Christ-
mas, lovely Connie Kreski, Playmate of the
Yeor, announces your gift vio the colorful
gift card shown. Gives a glimpse of what he
con expect in each issue when twelve other
beautiful Playmates, like Shay Knuth ct left,
unfold throughout his gift year. We'll sign it
as you wish or send the card along to you to
deliver your own glad tidings. Just fell us.

Its not too late to
make a Christmas date

| with PLAYBOY

10 First 1-Year Gift Each Add'l 1-Year Gift
(Save $3.00)* (Save $5.00)*
PLAYBOY, 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ш. 60611 This handsome card
E аса will onnounce your
To: neme 1 ' gift of PLAYBOY magazine... nome
{please print) (pleose print)
Е c eS address.
Ту EET Ades e =, prse n stote zip.

gilt cord from PLEASE COMPLETE

C Enter or Ü] renew my own subscription.

To: nome. - -
ТЕЙ Send gift cord: Г] to recipient [Î to me personolly
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PLAYBOY

42

t ruon t

[C

...@ tradition with a special
meaning for the storm-tossed,
sea-weary men of the CUTTY SARK.
And today, by tradition,

more Americans welcome

the Christmas Season with

Curry Sark than with

any other Scotch,

Make it a Cutty Christmas.

You'll be in the best of company.

T

j 355 Wx == d
P Si and in Scolar
- ati eit Grid cemen Suena
йй
PT,

BLENDED,
OTS Nis

10 3
ка? Scotch whiskies,
ellan gy best Diti

ound in
and fl.

who slops a good deal of wine
bedchambers, breaks furnitur
the bare buttocks of prostitutes, pre

m-

lt of а mother hangup
wels more than she
7). Married. off against his wishes
ly young woman of noble birth
эсу), he elopes with her beauti-

nd apparently
1 to wreak revenge
е mother-in-law (Lilli
ous drcam and

adism

arn to make th
10 an art film with the ra

he were s orgies add up

v materials at

hand. His most visible
ubiquitous strumpets who come on
а corps de ballet of spaced-out Rockettes,
and, of course, dircaor-ham John Huston,
picking up some easy coin with his outra-
gcously broad stunt work as the Marquis
de Sade's uncle, a randy okl abb and
master of revels who instructs his neph-
ments of pornography. As
jade, the course is strictly

d on the Abe Bur
rows adaptation of a French comedy that
survived. for [our seasons on. Broadway,
offers few surprises but frequent delights.
Deep in the toils of a totally predictable

u, co-starring
tan dentist who
preserves Ins bachelorhood. by pretending
to be ЧЇ man on the make and
fails to notice for s that the
crisply efficient. recep
his appoi
man. It’s the old met
which a dazzlin
her spinsterish cocoon
boss on il dl. Find
such formula. high-jinks would be easy,
but when the performers are well above
and the lines wired for constant
yet just to relax and
enjoy them. This kind of slickly com-
mercial Am. ie, the. epitome of
ly lilts escap-
pment into the realm of art,
е Saks, every second
N helping high
light the stus! charisma. Yet Cactus Flo;
er may one day be remembered. chielly
wees to Goldie
kereye sprite of. Rowi
tin's Laugh-In, funnier th
and oddly touching, too, in her
debur as a Greenwich Villa
who refuses to many Matthau until she
cin clear her conscience of his nonexistent
wile and three children.

how, very ne

i ever

Limpid color photography enhances
the fey beauty of Viva, Andy Warhol's
weary superstar, who obviously sprang
whole out of a drawing by Aubrey Beards
ley. Viva is just one of the found

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168 Glen Cove Road,
Carle Place. N Y 11514.
Chicago; Dallas; Glendale,
Calif. in Canada: Kingsway
Film Equipment Lid., Ontano,

One listen is worth

a thousand

Therefore, we'll just give you the
facts you may want before listening:

This is the Fisher 125 compact stereo
system. Itfeatures AM, FM, automatic switching
between FM того and FM stereo, 4-speed automi
turntable with cue control, high-compliance
magnetic cartridge with diamond stylus, plus full
tape and phono facilities. Power output is
SO май. IL comes with a pair of Fisher XP-55B
two-way speaker systems, all for $329 95.

With built-in cassette tape recorder.
but without AM, it's called the Fisher 127
and costs $449.95.

Without tape recorder and without AM,
it's the Fisher 120, at $299.95.

Now listen carefully. And for a free
copy of The Fisher Handbook, the 1970
edition of our 72-page full-color reference
Buide, write to Fisher Radio, 11-38 45th
Road, Long Island City, N.Y. 11101.

The Fisher

ads.

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43

PLAYBOY

44

objects wrested from the underground by
French writer-director Agnés (Le Bon-
heur) V:
lions Love, which
sute authors of Hair, Jerome Ragni and
James Rado, and independent movie-
maker Shirley Clarke, not to mention an
excerpt from Michael McClure’s off-
Broadway hit, The Beard. Miss Varda
casts Shirley Clarke as Shirley Clarke,
who goes to Hollywood to join a ménage
4 trois in a rented house occupied by
Viva, Rado and Ragni, three stray lambs
whose improvised dialog consists almost
entirely of non sequiturs. Some of Viva's
lines are wryly amusing, particularly
when she muses about the unlikely joys
of motherhood and wonders aloud, “Do
you think I could go through nine
months of it and only come out with
one?” Lions Love is mostly an inside
joke, so committed to the movie-bulf
mentality that Miss Varda herself steps
before the camera on several occasions,
even donning Shirley Clarke's blouse to
play out a suicide scene that Shirley finds
distasteful—wit Shirley is sup-
posed to be killing herself because a
oup of dense majorstudio executives
e given her such a hard time about
ing a movie in Hollywood. Director
Varda bumps into numerous obstacles,
100, in uying to chew on more random
cana than she can easily digest.
Despite bricf Mires of verbal and visual
fireworks, Lions Love i r example
of the хіп
when a film

la for her first American film,
Бо features the hi

Notable for one reason or another
mong the recent deluge of sex epics is
y dewy-eyed Swed-

modern Stockholm, is so cleaned
up that her best beaux wouldn't recog-
nire her. As essayed by kittenish redhead
Diana Kjaer, y's adventures in the
city are more lyrical than sensual. She
outers a rich young blade (Hans
Ernback) whose father discreetly packs
him off to faraway places, but the boy at
last returns, still in love and happy to
find that his Fanny has been well kept
by several other men about town. Except
for some artful nude shows, Miss Hill of
Stockholm has little in common with her
bawdy English namesake.

АП the films of 1
ficult in some respe
dom pretentious, and a Viridiana or a
Belle de [our more than rewards the
movicgocr who will give it а second
thought, perhaps even a second viewing.
The Milky Way belongs to the best Buñucl
tradition—dark, elliptical, philosophically
rich, doggedly anti-church in outlook,
ely confident in style and touched
dry, cerebral humor. Taken on its
simplest level, the movie is a stunningly

argument about religious
faith, Buñuels lifelong argument with
himself was, perhaps, ultimately summed
up in the musing of a cha who says,
My hatred of science and my horror of
technology will lead me one day to the
absurdity of believing in God.” The chief
dramatis personae
20th Century pilgrims (Lau
and Paul Frankeur), making their way to
the Spanish city of Santiago de Compos-
tela to visit the tomb of Saint James, the
Apostle whose body has been interred,
disinterred, mutilated, sanctified, desancti-

fied and otherwise bandied about since
the Huh. Century, according to changing
i religious dogma. Buñuel's pil-

grims travel through time as well as space,
meeting priests, martyrs, a sect of Hth
Century heretics about to launch an orgy,
the Marquis de Sade midway through a
session of torture, а whore. the Virgin

Mary and Jesus Christ himself, behaving
rather like a shrewd young politician on
whistle-stop tour. Bunucl's is a world in

which commonplace scenes unexpectedly
assume an aura of mysticism and ritual,
nd here he projects the сос of
Everyman as а series of vivid confronta-
tions—between a Jesuit and a Jansenist
who conduct a lively theological debate
le dueling, or between a priest and a
arist discussing transubstantiation at
country inn (whether the body of
Christ in а wafer can be likened t0 the
hare in а pûlê), until two burly attend-
white come and dia;
d back to his padded cell. Milky Way
has the resonance of ап ageold cuc-
chism, charged with life by one of the
least compromising masters of modern
cinema

the шан of

RECORDINGS

There's a mother lode of listening
pleasure to graciously give or joyously
receive this yule. The Boston Symphony
Chamber Players (КСА) perform works that
nclude Schubert's Piano Quintet in A,
Brahms's Piano Trio in B, Ор. 8 and
Webern's Concerto, Op. 21, lor flute,
oboe, clarinet, horn, trumpet, trombone,
violin, viola and piano (played by guest
artist Richard Goode). All thor-
oughly rewarding recording. The Liule
Orchestra of London, under the baton of
Leslie Jones, may be heard to excellent
ad age in а six-LP album of Haydn's
12 Londen Symphonies (93 through 101)
and a three LP. package of his Six “Paris”
Symphonies (82 through 87), both sets on
the Nonesuch I; The Liule Orchestra
is perfectly suited to the task and the
over-all results are a delight, Music for Lute,
Guitar, Mandolin (Turnabout) may lack an
Andrés Segovia or a Julian Bream, but
there isn't much else missing from this
fiveLP pacan to those instruments. On
hand аге works by Vivaldi, Boccherini,
Haydn, Beethoven, Schubert and Pagani-

ni, Particularly interesting are the pieces
for mandolin, an instrument long relc-
gated to an inferior status. A beautifully
packaged offering of Johann Sebast
Bach's Harpsichord Concertos has been put
together for Telefunken’s Das Alte Werk
з. Gustav Leonhardt, the featured
rpsichordist, performs with the Leon-
rdt-Consort and the Concentus Musicus.
The sound reproduction is splendid and
the instruments are from Bach's own €
‘The seasonal goodies naturally include
some opulent operatic loot. Top honors
go to Richard Strauss’s luscious, exube
nt Der Rosenkavalier (London; also av
able on stereo tape). performed by
choice cast, under Georg Solti’s enihu-
siastic direction and recorded in Vienna,
with truly clectrifying brilliance. Verdi's
tempestuous Otelo (Angel) is another
high contender, especially as illumined
by Sir John Barbirolli’s insightful con-
ducting and by James McCracken
powerful portrayal of the mistrustful
Moor. Those ardent Wagnerites who al-
ready have the first two volumes of Her-

bert von Karajan's recording in progress
of the “Ring” cycle will almost certainly
want to acquire the latest installment,

Siegfried (Deutsche Grammophon), which
features American tenor Jess Thomas in
the title role. And admirers of soprano
Montserrat Gaballe’s considerable art w
find her hard то resist as Strauss’s voluptu-
ous Salome (RCA; also available on sterco
tape). Among the reissues, there's a splen-

did Aido (Victrola, also available оп stereo
tape), presided over by Zinka Milanov,
Jussi Bjoerling and Leonard Warren, as

Well as an equally impressive Manon (Serit-
phim), starring Victoria de los Angeles as
the hapless heroine.

A pair of widely disparate packages
combining books and recordings make
excellent Christmas booty. Te the Moon
(Time-Lile Records) chronicles, by writ
ten word, Deautiful photos and a half
dozen LPs, the events leading up to and
culminating in the Armstrong Aldrir
Collins moon voyage. As a keepsake of a
unique and incredible adventure, its
well worth the price. A keepsake of a
completely different nature is a book
andalbum tribute to Benny Goodman,
wherein the Columbia Special Products
division of Columbia Records has teamed
up BG on the Record—A Bio-Discography of
Benny Goodman (Arlington House) with a
b hag of recorded performances on the
Igia label by the King of Swing
covers the per iod [rom 1999 to 1045
АН but one have never before made it to
LPs; the reasons are obvious with many
of them; but for the Goodman fan, theres
enough gold among the dross to make it
all worth. while.

Of all the predominantly jazz labels,
none has had a more illustr i
than Blue Note;
have always been extremely high. So
no wonder that a six-LP, three-album
olfering, Blue Note's Three Decades of Jazz

COLUMBIA STEREO TAPE CLUB now offers you

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COLUMBIA STEREO TAPE CLUB, Terre Haute, Indiona 47808
Please enroll me аз а member of the Club. T've indicated
below the 5 tapes I wish to receive for only $100 each,
plus postage and bandling. Include the selr-tnreading
takeup reel FREE.
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two years, under the terms outlined in this ndvertlse-
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thereafter. If I continue, for every tape I purchese I
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45

PLAYBOY

46

(also available on stereo tape), should
be filled with superlative examples of the
a in tolo, it becomes quite
clear that the pacesetters, the pioneers,
were on Blue Note—Monk, Dameron,
Moody, Rollins, Coltrane, Davis, Bud
Powell, Ornette, Silver, Dolphy—all are
on hand in this $0th-anniversary reprise.
Chuck Berry's Golden Decade (Chess; also
ailable on stereo
Berry's original two albums under one
cover. Included are some of the ground-
breaking rock stars most memorable
presings—Maybellene, Roll Over Bee-
thoven, Rock and Roll Music and Sweet
Little Sixteen.

Caedmon, that citadel of the spoken
word, continues its winning ways. Welt
Whitman: Eyewitness to the Civil War—Read
by Ed Begley (also available on stereo tape)
is brimming with the poet's total immer-
sion in that horrendous conflict. Begley
supplies the power to match Whitman's
sweeping word images. The Peetry of
Langston Hughes, read by Ossie Davis and
Ruby Dee, the theater's superb black
husband-wife team, offers a saga of
Harlem as only Hughes could tell it—the
good and the evil, the crushed hopes and
the shattered dreams, the bravura facade
and the violent explosions. A total ex-
perience.

Verily, the Beatles have been touched
by the Lord. On Abbey Road (Apple: also
available on stcicu tape)—possibly th
best LP 10 date—they demonstrate un-
pected vocal and instrumental virtu-
osity as they deliver some of their toughest
hard rock (Come Together, 1 Want You),
mellowest melodies (Something. Because)
nd kecnest satire (Maxwell's Silver Ham-
mer, Polythene Pam). Anothe nge
nd groovy fruit from Apple, also av
able on stereo tape, is Billy Preston's That's
the Way God Planned h, on which the singer-

ianistorganist, formerly Ray Charles's
k, gets the benefit of George Har-
rison's production. Preston offers tender
vocalizing on Let Us All Get Together
Now, puts power into the funky What
About You? and revitalizes Dylan's She
Belongs to Me with his good-timy piano;
the charts, [ull of Beatlesque tums, pro-
vide proper support for the honest Afro-
“American soul that's out. front.

"The sounds that ei
Mitchell's Soul Bag (Hi: also available on
stereo tape) don't pretend to be art musi
—hey're just bright, danceable instru-
mentals with a big Memphis beat. Apollo
X, Cherry Tree, Young People and the
nine other tunes are all simple but per-
suasive exercises in funk.

That dynamic, diminutive tornado
Sammy Davis Jr. has filled up yet
another LP—The Goin's Great (Reprise; al-
so available on stereo tape)—with пой
but top-drawer tone poems. Producer Jin
my Bowen conducts the orchestra and

nd Sam, who crowds a life-
time of living onto the ten tracks that
include This Guys in Love with You,
The Impossible Dream and a cutie called
Break My Mind, by tl noble Nashville
spirit, John D. Loudermilk.

Soul music isn't dominating the charts
as it did a year ago, but that's not Jerry
singer, who
gets better all the time, is warmth per-
fied on Ice on fce (Mercury: also avail-
able on stereo tape) as hc delivers 11
rhythmic love stories; what's cool are the
defily charted and precisely played back-
grounds, A welcome newcomer to the
soul ranks is Lorraine Ellison, who rc-
veals a vital, church-hued style on Stay
with Me (Warner Bros.; also available on
stereo tape); outstanding are the slow-
moving ballads, such as No Matter How
Ji All Turns Out, and the title tune (not
the Jerome Moross-Carolyn Leigh item of
a few years buck).

son

Marlene Ver Planck is one helluva sing-
ег. Nothing wend, nothing kinky, just
righton-thebutton pitch, a lovely sound
and material—at least the stuff she does
on This Happy Feeling (Mounted)—that lets
you know words mean as much to her as
laly. She has a large assortment of
high-caliber studio musicians backing her
as she puts her signature to the likes of
Down Here on the Ground, 1 Have
Dreamed, V 1 The More 1 Scc You,
Let's have more.

Any protégé of Johnny Cash has got to
have something: and on The Cajun Wey
(Warner Brothers: also available on stereo
tape). Doug Kershaw proves himself to be
a compelling troubadour in the J. C.
mold, except that he's generally in bette
humor and plays the fiddle instead of the
guitar. Buddy Killen's production is a bit
too slick, but Kershaw's unvarnished vo-
cals—and a rock-solid beat give Come
Kiss Your Man, Feed It to the Fish and.
they

Groen River (Fantasy able on
stereo tape) is another generous help
of cathy images and rhythms served up
by the popular Creedence Clearwater Re-
vival, who evidently have no desire to
“go commercial"; this set, like their first
Quee, is delivered without brass and
strings to obscure the vital elements—a
repetitive beat, down-home guitar sounds

and John Fogerty's gutsy sing

Since Nilson sang Fred Neil’
Everybody's Talkin’ (Capitol; also availa le
n stereo tape) in Midnight Cowboy,
people have finally begun talking about
Mr. Neil—and this set, previously issued
under another title, may win him the
wide audience he deserves, It indudes
some of Neil's best ballads, such as the

tune

wistful The Dolphins and That's the Bog
I'm In; and his deep-reaching voice, set
against shimmering clectric backgrounds,
is a gas throughout.

The Association (Warner Bros; also avail-
able on stereo tape) is further proof that
sevew's a lucky number, as the voices of
the sitin-smooth sepret—one of the most
consistent pop groups around —are umerr
ingly together on Lave Affair, Dubuque
Blues, Broccoli and nine other original
tunes,

THEATER

From the Second City, brought to New
York by producer Bernard. Sahlins, fea-
tures the best material developed by the
company in the past two or three years
at its Chicago headquarters. While the
show evokes a considerable amount of
nostalgia for the Second City of old, the
present cast ollers a wide range of credit-

a literally spineless old priest: J. J. Barry
is best as a doddering blues singer named
Dirty Puddle; and Martin Harvey Fried-
berg provides a zany bit of pathos in
his portrayal of а wacky, back-talking
draltee. Along with Murphy Dunn
Miller, ol Robinson and Pamela
Miller, it is an engaging group, but
something of the spontaneous Second
City espr seems to have disappeared.
There is a certain stodginess to their
irreverence, and the company pointedly
avoids satiric comment on the really
pressing political and social crises of our
time. The total effect is one of restrained
good humor, but the show clearly lacks
the sense of urgency and importance that
makes theater live. From the Second
City, in short, is for people who simply
int to laugh, Those who seck some
form of enlightenment in satire may pr
fer to go elsewhere. At the Eastside Play-
house, 334 Fast 74th Street.

In Indions, Arthur Kopit looks deeply
into America’s past, re-evaluates а tradi-
tional American hero. Buffalo Bill, and
rediscovers an American tragedy—the
massacre of the Indians by the white
man. The point, especially with its i
tended reverberations of the battle be-
tween blacks and whites and the war
Vietnam, is not only pertinent but ur-
gent. And, for once, а playwright with a
purpose delivers. Indians is not, at least
verbally, a great play, but it is a great
piece of theater and, оп imagi

ve terms, it is a successful, significant
event. As Kopit sees Bill Cody, he is
something of ап ancestral WASP liberal,
who says (and would seem to believe)
опе thing and does another. Some of his
best friends are Indians, sure, but he
slaughters their provender, the buffalo
way of helping Sitting Bull is to

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have him join his wild West show, in
which the Indian chief humiliates h
own "glory"—and, sadly, even gets some
pleasure from it (remembered glory
being better than none at all), Eventu-
ally, Kopit’s Cody awakens to а sense of
moral responsibility and tries to mediate
between the reds and the whites. but he
is helpless and a little foolish. He feels
his failure but refuses to confront him-
self full face. Kopit’s method, with а
strong collaboration from director Gene
Frankel. is not realistic but ritualistic.
The framework, Cody's mediation, is
interspliced with stylized, strobe-tighted,
choreographed Dlashibacks h are at
various times wildly farcical, terribly sad,
nightmarish aud, on at least o
sion—an Indian dance—st
tiful. The Гоа
Richard Peastee’s cerily cllective elec
ironic music envelop and involve the
ence. The acting—particularly that
of Stacy Keach as the sell-deluding Cody
and Manu Tupou as the sell-deitying
Sitting Bull—is splendid, cuch
the message and the madness of Arthur
Kopit's dazzling wild West show. At the
Brooks Atkinson, 256 West 47th Street.

е occi-
ngely be

g both

John Osborne writes two kinds of plays.
The first, and more cl (Look
Bu Inger, Inadmissible Evidence).
me deeply feli, self-
excoriat dramas about a man in con-
Miet with himself. and the world around
him. The second (Luther and A Patriot for
Me) ave sprawling. intellectual, historical
plays in which the workd is at Teast as
The di in the
second category is that will
piove too w m his subject, In
Luthe ided that pitfall
(probably because. Luther. was something
Osbornean rebel himself); but in
Patriot, the plavwrisht is hoist on his
Own rese; The facts of the case are
that in the early 1900s, Allred Redi
homosexual officer in the Austro-Hungar-
n army. is blackmailed by the Russians
into becomii double ag
10 commit s

teristic

k in

ely personal,

important as the man

the
moved [

Osborne av

ch.

м, is discov-
de. AL
though in outline this sounds like a h
spy movie, Redl. an
class man im am upperaus army. is a
promising subject for iheanrical analysis.
But it is never clear from Patriot whether
Redl is, in Tact, Osborne's major concern.
The 20 quick-moving scenes deltly sketch
the baekground—but what is the fore
ground? [s this a play about Redl, homo
sexuality, militrism, political intrigue. а
decadent society? Or is it, as Osborne
suddenly dedares in ап epilog, about
the decline of Europe? Actually, it is a
little of each and not enough of any, Redl
himself remains fuzzy. n the play's most
celebrated scene, a military drag ball,
bur an observer: campily funny

ered a forced

gressive workü

ат

he
though the ball is, it comes off more like

a production number
advances the action, Ev
however, Patriot is continually compel
ling: and in several scenes, Osborne
strikes verbal fire, Ir is opulently mount-
ed and extremely well acted, particularly

nything that
a in its failure,

in the leads. Salome Jens is beautifully
devious as a plotting countess and Masi
milian Schell is commanding as Redl

There are indications that Schell could
have given his character even more dr
mension if Osborne had given him a bit
more help. At the Imperial, 249 West
45th Street

Salvation is called “the new rock mwi
cal” presumably to distinguish ii [rom
that hairy “oll” onc. Actually. there is
little chance of confusing them. Salvation
иез hard to be daring —someti
hard—áand entertaining, but
mou g enough; its rewards
are intermittent. V couple of the songs—
If You Let Me Make Love to You Then
Why Can't 1 Touch You and Tomariow
ds the First Day of the Rest of My Life
—have titles that smack of Anthony New-
ley: but they're really song, driving rock.
The electrilied combo (on stige. of course),
which calls itsell Nobody Else, plays more
like Everyone Else, but it has a good beat

сз 000
is neither

nor amus

(although in the beginning, the beat is vo
loud it obl ates all lyrics). The cast of
eight. which clurches hand microphones a

if they
two

were

Meday suckers, includes the
thors, Peter Link and C. C. Coun
ney, and all sing and move well. The
idea behind the show is provocative and
ginal. Salvation is intended as
ning of sacrilege, anti Gospel. anti church
church. Certainly, the subjects
worthy one lor spoofing, particularly whe
one considers the areas in which organized
xci is most vulnerable today: the war,
the black revolution. birth contol. But

these important issues are either ignored

or

an eve-

or slighted (there is. however, one
plaintive song about a gitl whose love
died in Vietnam). Link and Courtney
most interested in the confessional booth,
sex as sin and Bible-thumping preachers
(the evening's leader, Courtney, begins as
a thumper, ends as a Learvish hippie, and
that is the nonplot). The stage is filled
with constantly changing projecti
enlarged. amoebas, finger paining,

ed glass —whose focus

The

wing

stractions, sti
sharp bur whose purpose is fuzzy.

in a night
ew up to

ис. then р
кау. Possibly

oil Bro. a dub, in an
t be eflective:

stage, with

abbreviated form, it m
Dur splashed on a prosce
actors ining up and d
it proves not so much a worthy heir 1
Hair as а mere pretender to the ihi

At the Jan Hus, 351 East 74th Sue

" the aisles,

7m hese ihe ес»,
F =O flat ола 2

{ :

You take it from

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On the Hawaiian island of Maui, there's a dor- However, Leilani does cost a little more. That
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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

А. aride recently said that the Amer-
ican male performs the se average
of 5000 times during his n, While
this figure scems a bit modest
terms, Í consider it an exces
when applicd to the entire male popula-
ion of the country. What do you know
about il alatine, Illinois.

We don't know of any creditable sur-
vey on this subject, However, by taking a
Kinsey statistic as а basis—that most men
have intercourse about twice а weck—
and applying this to the span between the
age of 16 and the age of 50 (which is
conservative), one could roughly approxi
mate а total of 3336 ach. Bui who's
counting?

Fm planning to buy а tape deck. Is there
any advantage of a three-head model
over one that has only two heads?—K, T.,
East Orange, New Jersey.

In а tworhead recorder, one head erases
the tape, while the second is used both
10 record and to play back. А three-head
machine has separate recording and play
monitor

back heads, enabling you to
what's actually going ото the tape (as
opposed to what's simply going into
the microphone) and to produce “sound
on sound” (new material added to old),
as well as various special effects. The dif-
ference is in convenience and versatility.

«олау, my Army husband is st
I cannot be with him.

nd even dreaming about it,
feel horribly guilty, as
the people who taught me my religion
believe that thinking about it is almost
the same as doing it—Mrs. 5. P., Mil

thinking
This makes me

waukec, Wisconsin.

Those same religious enthusiasts would
not have easily accepted thoughts of put-
ting money into the collection plate as

are quite natural and your upbringing is
exacting an unfair toll of guil, ах you
seem to be aware. Perhaps this advice
from psychoanalyst Judd Marmor will
help have long jelt that the Biblical
injunction that placed coveting one's
neighbor's wife on the same moral level
as actual adultery is one of the psycho-
logically destructive heirlooms that the
Judaco-Christian moral tradition has be-
queathed us." Dr. Marmor points out
that daydreaming about sexual infidelity
is commonplace and injurions only to
people who cannot tell the difference
between thought and action and who

to repress awareness of their natural de-
sires. Even when luo people remain ex
clusively and permanently faithful to
each other, Dr. Marmor concludes, “A
thought of infidelity а day (without guilt)
keeps the psychoanalyst away.” In a light-
er vein, finally, think of the late Clarence
Darrow's comment: “I've never killed a
man, but Гуе read many ап obituary
with a great deal of pleasure.”

How do you make a dr
and go naked?—L. B.,
New York.

Mix ome tablespoon of sugar syrup,
the juice of one lemon and two jiggers
of gin or vodka in a collins glass. Stir;
add ice cubes and fill with beer. Stir
again and imbibe teistrely.

nk called
resh M

AR young lady and 1 have been enjoying
sexual relations in her pad for a couple
of months. Last weekend, she visited my

tment for the first time and became
quite upset by the pinups in my bedroom
Whar emerged from a long discussion
was her feeling that if our arrangement
were truly satisfactory, 1 wouldn't need
these “extras,” and my feeling that the
pict ^ unrelated 10 the meaning of
our relationship. Will you help clarify
the issue for us—M. E, Hyausville,
Maryland.

Having a tree that gives you apples
doesn’t negate the desire to look at ved-
woods. Awareness of lhe redwoods, like
wise, need not affect your enjoyment of

apples.

©)

—

Revelation hasn't
changed since
Uncle Ced

Пею with the
Lafayette
Esceadrille.

Revelation’s not
made of sugar
and spice, boys.
Just tobacco:

» | | 5 great tobaccos..
Revelation’s for
the experienced
pipe smoker.

ИМ, girlfriend discusses everything with
her mother, including, 1 just learned, the
extent of our personal relations, While
we have just scratched the surface, so to
k, I'm still a believer in intimacies
£ kept private. The very thought of
facing her mother the next time I pick
up my es me tremble
with fear and dread, and I'm very ani
about it. | do love this girl, but it's l
мете making out on closed-circuit TV,
and 1 don't care for th:
Florid:

You mistakenly view the confidential
honesty of a good parent-child relation-
ship as an invasion of your privacy.
What yon haven't realized is that yon are
the beneficiary of a situation in which
sex is properly regarded as a normal life
activity and опе in which guilt has по
place. Whatever your fears, they do not
spring from the circumstances but from
your awn background, which apparently
was not as healthy as your girls. Be
concerned only with your own attitude

REVELATION

5

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PLAYBOY

52

and try to learn from your friend that
е " there is no need to consider sex a dark
ICO 4 mystery wilh unsavory overtones:

ММ... teaving aher a .

dinner р:

е е | Û always thank my hosts. However, T
r t | | been told thar this isn't enough а
1 should write а note to thank them amin
| Ë ç 0 | | after а day or two. What's the drill

J| I W. South Bend, Indiana.

After u formal occasion, your hosts
will welome a short byead-and-bulter.
mole. For close friends, regardless of
the affair, a telephoned thank you ix
sufficient.

give pleasure and peace of mind

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En a biology
students (osten
project) recently asked me what living
creature has the largest penis in relation
to its body size. "That wasn't brought up
in teacher's college,

nd one of my
n a science

id. I'm wondering
if you could help.—A, H., Portland,
Oregon.

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completely unrelated to the action. Am 1
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Yes. In the silent eva, the scenario did
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Keyholders may charge io their Keys.

The Playboy Interview with Masters
Johnson (May 1968) related
dote concerning a couple unable to con
ceive be made love three u
which reduced the males sperm
t. This made me wondi
bation prior to intercourse would consti
tute an effective means of birth control
—T. D., Wilmette, Illinois.
Prior to, no; instead of, yes.

Wien 1 о ‹

boy, who had been with her for
some time, dropped her completely and
now seems to dislike both of us. I've

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really fallen for this chick and we go out
a lot Because our circles overlap, we
ofien run into this other fellow. When-
ever we do, my gal becomes very nervous
па upset and it spoils much of our fw
What can I, or should J, tell herz—
D. S., Del Mar, ifornia.

Since il seems clear that she has unre-
solved feelings for the guy, you ave the
last person whose words will help resolve
them. Let her deal with the conflicts
herself, unless she asks your counsel. You
should, of course, try to avoid this sort of
thing by taking your date out into a new
social environment, insofar as possible,
where the experiences you have will be
uniquely your own.

Why are men’s dothes buttoned left
over right, when the reverse is true
of women's outft?—H. B, Lincoln,
Nebrask

Buttoning started as a unisex arrange
ment, with both men's and women's gar-
ments having holes on the right. During
the Middle Ages, butions on male cloih-
ing were swilched to Ше other side so
that a man could, in an emergency,
swiftly unfasten his coal with the lejt hand
while drawing his sword with the right.

Mies three years of going steady, my

1 and I have re; i
ad ouicr
simply aren't firm
believer in prem. se, but
continually Drings up her fear of
ancy, refusing to believe in the
traceptive techniques.
She's expressed great eagerness to partici-
pate fully in a wide variety of sexual act
ities once we ried, and I'd hate to
risk this promising future by doing the
g now. Yet, my close friends
think I'm foolish not to coerce her (sub-
tly, of course) into my bed. I love her
very much and I'm uncertain as to wh
course I ought to take —N. D., Derr
Michigan.

Coercion should be the last thing on
your mind. What you should consider is
how long you expect to wait before
marrying. If it's only a brief period, try
to be sutisfied with your “other noncoital
sexual activities”; you'll be bedding your
bride soon enough and, presumably,
what you're doing now at least provides
physical release. 1] i's more like a year
or two, we suggest that you and she go
to a marriage counselor who is qualified
to give premarital advice and 10 suggest
reliable methods of contraception

Do you know the derivation of the
word hoosegow as а synonym for jail?
—L. Y., Dayton, Ohio.

In the carly West, when cowbe
exposed to Spanish, they often

nounced words and thereby coined new
ones. Hoosegow is a corruption of juzga
do, or court of justice. By extension, the
word has come to mean jail, since one
frequently led to the other.

Some mate employees i
building where 1 work seem to
guided ideas about elevator. etiqu
Even when the car is jammed, they w
for the girls to get olf first, though this
forces the females to fight their way past
men who ате blocking the exit
to talk my friends into bei
tional by getting off first in such circum
stances, but they claim that isn't good
manners. Are they corvect?—E. 8. St
Louis, Missouri.

No. Etiquette is generally based on
common sense, and it’s absurd to adhere
fo the ladies first rule when it runs
to an orderly flow of traffic.

the office

I've mied

more ra

counter

a lady physician and have been
үтїс for more than 15 years. How
ever, this hasn't kept me from falling in
love with a colleague, and my desire to
have an affair with him has continued
unabated for a five-year period. While
this man never seeks me out, he seems
willing to spend time with me when I'm
able to arrange things: but. unfortunate
ly. he has refused to take adv
the several subtle overtures ub
made, In fact, when T finally came out
and suggested an alfair, he became visi
bly disturbed 1 he would never
risk hurting his wife or jeopardizing his
Career. if my
ination has endowed him w
sexuality than he really possesses a
if my lion is really a lamb, What do
you think?—Mrs. D. T. Los Angeles
Californ

Your diagnostic powers ате faulty if
yon believe everyone shares your willing-
ness to risk а sound marriage for an
intimate liaison that, in all likelihood,
would be temporary and clandestine. In
any case, it's obvious that your colleague

I'm beginning to wond

is either not turned on by your sexual
attractions or he’s simply happy with his
life as it is; хо you'd better vesign yourself
to Platonic friendship rather than Hippo-
cratic passion.

11 reasonable questions—from fash
ion, food and drink, hi-fi and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette
—will be personally answered if the
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi-
gan Avenue, Chicago, Hlinois 60611. The
mosi provocative, pertinent queries will
be presented on these pages each month.

ат ҮТҮ у Le |

DISTI irc

Authentic.

M Christmas bere. And Iwill

tell you the cold of a Scottish
winter is a nasty affair in the
Highlands. But weve made a
Scotch that's warmed many
a man. And with it we send
good cheer.”

Jobn Dewar

Dewars
never
varies,
©1969

А man's world. Shiny wood, smoke, pretzels,
good conversation, and best of all, the best of all,
Miller High Life. For over six generations ,

the great premium beer. Š

Miller makes it right!

(C MILLE BREWING со, MILWAUKEE

THE PLAYBOY FORUM

an interchange of ideas between reader and editor
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy”

SHOCK THERAPY
As а student who was privileged 10
spend à sum with mental
patients, T wish to comment on electro-
convulsive therapy. T heartily agree with
Charles S. Pennewell, Jr, who spoke out
m the October
Playboy Forum пе adm
tration of shock is an absurdly archaic
method of dealing with mental disorder.
I should have been abolished years ago,
along with the strait j nd the lo-
botomy. When 1 witnessed shock the "py
id was involved with longterm patients
received this treatment, |
palled at the extent of th а
tion after these sessions. Shock is still
used in many institutions and yet, when
you confront a psych nd ask for
ihe rationale behind this therapy, the
answer will probably be, “We don't un-
derstand what happens but sometimes it
helps." Witchaaft! As a wry doctor once
shile demonstrating his art on a
schizophrenic. “When the stall is depressed
about a patient, they jolt him with a series
of ECT sessions." ECT is not only deg
ing for the patient but reduces psychology
from science to superstition
Jo Friedlund
Colorado State University
Fort Collins. Colorado

st (his treaunent in
T feel that

wl

m a nonpsychiatric physician, but I
feel compelled to correct a misconception
that appeared in a letter from Charles 5.

therapeutic regimen. that I had hoped

was no longer im use anywhere in the
United States. The use of electrocon-
vubive therapy without some level of
anesthe: his case, is, indeed, a
"terri nd onc that

might,
than good over a prolonged period. But
most institutions today are combining
ECT with a hypnotic medication given
intravenously shortly before the shock is
ered. In this way, the entire proce
dure is completely without trauma for the
patient, who is asleep throushoni

Howard A. Wexler, M. D.

APO San Fra co, Califor

complish more harm

de

ism the letter from
Il, Jr, describing his
ents. While
ptist
Memphis, Tennes-

1 read with skey
Charles S. Penne
experience with shock tr
s a psychia

1 wa

ed 12 shock treatments
they in no way resembled the horrible
experiences described by Pennewell. At
this hospital, the psychiatrist
ment gives the patient two
hypodermics, one to stop his saliva and
the other to put him to sleep. About two
hours later, the patient wakes up and the
ment is finished.

As for the forgetfulness Pennewell
described, 1 must point out that the
purpose of shock treatment is to make
the patient forget the disturl
that have made him sick
would be impossible for ihe treatments
to have affected Pennewell’s intellectual
ability as he daims. He may have forgot-

ten much that he had learned, but he
can return to college, if he wishes, and
achieve his former good grades. 1 am a
junior at Arkans:
joing in engineering, my fist
yen, ] attained a В but when 1
became ill, шу grades dropped until L was
placed on probation. Now that 1 have
returned to college, my grades have risen
to the B level again

David Shaver

Arkansas State Ur

St:

versity
e College, Arkansas

As а nurse, D wish to add my own
comment to the discussion of shock
therapy. This form of treatment began
when it was observed that epileptic,
after a convulsion, usually experienced a
short-term memory Joss and a sense of
calm and serenity. It was decided 10
induce convulsions in psychiatri
tients, using electricity, оп the
tion that the me:
imness afterward would give them res-
pite from the ideas or delusions that
were agitating them,
ut how painful the procedure is, I
cannot say, having only observed it and.
not experienced it. However, even if it
were physically painless, as my psychi
ric instructors claimed, it is certainly
ally terrifying when adminis
ental hospi-
The p rubber gag
forced into his mouth, to prevent him
from g his tongue while in convul-
sion. Th one attendant holds the
patient's legs and another, his arms, to
ensure that he does
fall off the

à most state

"t injure himself or
the shock hits. The

Mr Hicks slacks are

VVILD!

They've got that gutsy look that
means business! Try a pair soon at
your Favorite store. You'll like
the shape you're in!
Hicks-Ponder Co./El Paso, Texas 79999

PLATS30T

58

temples are lubricated and electrodes
attached: then the current is adminis
tered. Although the patient is disoriented
Kl cannot recall what has happened
when he wakes up, he still shows symp-
toms ol fright.

Not being a psychiatrist myself, I can
not say that this procedure is not, in the
long run, beneficial to most patients. 1
can say. however, hom my own experi
ence, that the method of administration
usually unnecessarily cruel. Properly
done, elearoconvulsive therapy should
include а careful explanation to the pa-
tient io alleviate his alarm in advance
There should also be an injection of
Sodium Penctothal or another esthetic,
to render him unconscious beloi
actual electrical shock. And when he re-
ıs consciousness, the doctor should be
ar his side im and comfort
him during the init od of disoricn.
Unfortun: takes more
ioney

ave at their dis
t procedures. as
аз those described. by Pennewell
not uncommon.
Kathryn Jewett. R. N
Wheaton, Maryland

POSTAL SNOOPING
Enclosed is à copy of a letter I sent to
my two Senators regarding postal suoop-

r Senin
recently. received d hom
the pow office locared in Tenally,
New Jeney. which contained the tol
lowing message: “Please call at the
above post alice regarding an air
mail leer from Sweden,” The fol-
lowing conversation ensued between
my wife and the postal employees
upon her visit to the post office.

Mrs, Kaps: “You sent me а post-
сані. something about an airmail
letter from Swed,

Postal clerk (Шимегей and tum
ing lour shades of red): “You'll have
to see the superintendent about that.”

Mrs. Kaps to superintendent: “I'm
here about the айтпай letter [rom
Sweden.”

Superintendent (equally flustered
“Well, we can't deliver that letter.

Mrs, Kaps: “Why not?

Superintendents "It. contains ob
scene material."

Mrs, Кары “How do you
that the letter has obscene mate
in i

Superintendent
to the light and we could se

Mrs Kaps “What right do you
10 hold my mail up to the

now

“We held it up

tendent: “We do dat all
ihe time.”

Mrs. Kaps: “Fine, now that you've
looked at my mail through the fight

can 1 please hane it to take home

FORUM NEWSFRONT

a survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philos

ophy"

WORLD'S OLDEST PROFESSIONAL
COLUMBUS, ошоло on com plaints
by neighbors, vicesquad. officers arrested
а 69-year-old. woman and charged. her
with prostitution, but not before the
undercover cops obligingly went ont for
groceries—the cost. of which was to be
deducted from her five-dollay fee. The
lady. whom officers said looked 20 years
younger than her age. confessed lo Iun-
ing ay many as 10 tricks a day to supple
ment her retirement income. She claimed.
however, that while her days were sinful,
her nights were pure: She thought prosti
tution was illegal only in the corning,

SATIRISTS 1, GIRL SCOUTS 0

Girl Scouts of the US. A
failed to enjoin the distribution of a
satirical poster depicting a pregnant Girl
Scout and the famous motio, “Be Pre-
pared" (see "Forum Newsfront,” Novem-
ber 1969). In rejecting the petition, which
accompanied a S1 000000 damage suit
against the poster maker, Federal Count
Judge Morris E. Lasker said: “Perhaps
it is because the reputation of the plaintil]
is so secure against the wry assault of the
defendant that no such damage has been
demonstrated.”

NEW VORE

HOMOSEX UALS SEEK CIVIL SERVICE
WASHINGTON. D. c.—Honosevunhs are
vill waiting for new Civil Service Commis-
sion guidelines embodying the 1969 U. S.
Court of Appeals decision (see “Forum
Newsfront.” October 1909) acknowledg-
ing their right to work for the Federal
Government, According to a spokesman
for the commission's General Counsel's
office, the agency is holding off, pending
the outcome of a petition fora rehearing
Meanwhile, the Department of Defense
has met determined resistance in ent
attempts to revoke employees’ security
clearances on the grounds that they me
homosexual, In Jour cases now before the
Pentagon's Industrial Sreurily Clearances
Review Division, the Mattachine Society
of Washington, D. С.. has publicized the
identities of Ihe employees, to refute the
objection that homovexnals are хим ерине
ta Blackmail, and is prepared to go to
court if the Jour clearances ave revoked.

A NOBLE EXPERIMENT.

WASHINGTON, b. СЙ great. fervor
and fanfare, the U.S. G
launched. Operation Diteicept, a classic

rnment

border squeeze aimed at smugglers and
at the Mexican. governments mañana

attitude in the “war against pol." The
smugglers, of course, “lid low,” but dur-
ing its first day, the tight Customs dragnet
snared and searched over 418000 hapless

motorists whose radiators and tempers
boiled over im massive horn-honking
traffic jams, Some got into fistfights or
keeled over from the heat and exhaust
fumes, and U.S. Customs last what
friends it may have hud on either side of
the border.

As ils tourist trade shriveled, the Mexi
can government protested 1o Washington
and rejected a U.S. proposal to spray
marijuana and poppy ficlds with airborne
chemicals that might have damaged
other crops. Mexican professional and
lobor groups devounced the U.S. action
for its effect, on border-town economics
and on Mexican workers who could not
reach their jobs on the American side.
Mexican chambers of commerce counter
attacked with Operation Dignity—a boy
roll of American products
wenty days after i started, Operation
Intewept was replaced by Operation Co-
operation and more conventional border
inspection procedures. Mexico. im return,
promised to by a tittle harder,

WHAT SORT OF MAN SMOKES GRAS:
nariioge—(olleue pot smoker as a
group tend о be “socially pobed,
“vhilled in interpersonal relations" and
have “a wide range of interesis” al-
though they abo lean toward “micis
sim” and “selfaggrandizement.’ while
nonusers appeny ta be “pleasant,” "duti-
Jul! “rather conventional,’
their interests” and somewhat “too def-
erential lo external authority." These
conclusions emerged from a study of HS
students by four psychologists on the
sally of Johns Hopkins and Lehigh nni-
versitirs, Two fairly unsurprising results:
Frequent marijuana users are “careless of
rules and conventions, but disposed. to
consider the implications of their
actions for the welfare of others," and
those nonusers with strong moral obje
tions do pat were “wellsocialized vule
Jollowers but somewhat deficient in
charitable or benevolent tendencies.” On
the other haud. both orcasional users and
those who had never used grass but had
no strong objections to it were more
“morally mature” than eilher of these
extreme groups. Two surprising results:
Heavy smokers were more likely to be
fraternity men than the occasional users
or the nonusers; and they generally ex-

“narine in

hibited “the sort of achievement moli
lion necessary for success in graduate
school

One conclusion marijnanaphobes
will be glad to quote: There
some connection between smoking mart
juana and using other drags” (62 percent
of the mers had abo tried hashish; 30
рене, amphetamines: and 25 percent.

seems la be

LSD). One conclusion marijuanaphiles
will certainly quote: "No evidence" was
Jound “that marijuana users frequently
experiment with heroin.”

ECONOMICS OF LOVE

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FLORIDA—IN a
panel discussion on oral contraceptives
and youth, Lynda Bird Johnson Robb
complained of the pills inflationary effect
en love: “One oj the things that upsets
me most abont people of my generation
is that they can take the pill and feel free
to change partners all the time, IL used
to be i| someone really cared about one
person, then they might take the visk.
Now that there is no risk involved, it
cheapens the currency.”

HIPPIES, JEWS AND WITCHES

Persecution of persons identified as
“hippies,” far from being a random e;
pression of contemporary American
prejudice, is becoming institutionalized
in ways similar to the opening stages
of the 17th Century witch-hunt and the
Мазі» efforts to exterminate European
Jewry, according to Queen's College
sociologist Michael E. Brown. Writing
іп Transaction magazine, Professor
Brown finds that (1) hippies have be-
come identified as symbols of “danger”
rather than аз human beings; (2) an
ideology justifying their persecution has
been created; and (3) otherwise conflict:
ing, agencies of social control are united
in opposing this group—and all three
of these processes work 10 institutional-
ise their persecution. In turn, such so
cially sanctioned re pression of a minority
“usually transcends itself both in its
selection of targets and in its organiza-
lion"'—in other words, it often snowballs
into vigorous suppression of all forms of
deviance or difference. Brown points out
that psychiatrists have provided much o|
the rationale for the war against hippies,
which ts being waged “in the name of
mental health rather than moral values
or social or political interest” Defining
“normality and health in terms of cach
other," psychiatry more and more identi
fies any form of alienation as a “sickness
which invites the forcible altering of
the dissenter’s behavior on humanitarian
grounds, Brown concludes ominously that
Пих process has “begun to place all d
ance in the category of heresy. This pat
may soon become endemic to the
society”

lern

THE RIGHT OF ABORTION

sew vork—Encowaged by a vecent
California supreme-court decision, the
York Lawyers Commune and the
American Civil Liberties Union have
launched simultaneous legal attacks on
New York's strict abortion law. The
4. C.L. U. suit charges that the state law

is unconstitutionally vague and violates
the rights of doctors, patients and mar-
ried couples. The Lawyers Commune
suit, filed on behalf of over 125 lawyers,
physicians and other professionals, charges
similar violations of individual rights as
well as the abridgment of the freedom of
speech and freedom from religious coer
cion.

Lending moral support to the chal-
lengers, 280 members of the Group for
the Advancement of Psychiatry, includ
ing some of the most respected names in
the field, issued а report upholding “the
right of a woman to control her own re
productive lie" and recommending that
“abortion when performed by а licensed
physician should be entirely. removed
from the domain of criminal law.”

A PRAYER IS A PRAYER 15 А PRAYER

NETCONG, NEW JERSEY—In their un-
flagging efforts to evade the Supreme
Conrt’s 1963 ruling against prayers in
public schools, the Netcong borough
council and beard of education voted to
reinstate school prayers regardless of the
law and appointed a panel of local
clergymen to supply a non-denomina-
tional prayer. While the clergymen
wrangled over a suitable prayer, the
board substituted a 30-second period. of
“voluntary meditation?" The solution,
finally, was to abandon the clergymen as
well as the Bible in favor of the Congres
sional Record, which contains a prayer
read by the official chaplain at the open-
ing of cach day’s session. Whereupon the
American Civil Libertirs Union pointed
out that a prayer is a prayer, no matter
from where, and readied its case for court.

THOUGHTCRIME

LONDON: 0.000. people
are in jails throughout the world [or
what George Orwell called “though
crime" —political dissent of a nonviolent
naturc—accovding to Amnesty Interna-
tional, a nonpartisan organization working
Jor the release of political prisoners every-
where. These “criminals” have been ime
prisoned for such offenses as practicing а
banned religion, writing something that
offended a person in power, refusing 10
go lo war, organizing a peaceful strike or
merely holding dissident political inews.

Amnesty, organized in 1961, has 550
active chapters in 19 countries. It has
handled some 4,000 cases and secured the
release of 2.000 persons. Each chapter
takes three cases а! a time—one from an
Don Curtain country, one from the
“free” world and one [rom the non-
aligned nations, The organization is cur-
rently working for the release of various
heretics in Rhodesia, South Africa, Greece,
Spain, Portugal, Russia and the United
Slates.

As many as 2

Superintendent: “Oh, we can't do
that. If you want the letter you have
10 open it here in front of us.”

Mis. Карк “I will not. ИУ pri-
vare correspondence and not your
business!”

Supe

tendent: “Well. if you
don't want to open it in front of us,
we can't give it to you.”

Mrs. Kaps: "Fine, then you keep
the letter.”

| have some questions. Why is it
wincs sent (O us on sul
scription are delivered hve to ten
days alter they are on the news
stand? Why is it that first-class spe-
ibdelivery leuers mailed ш the
Grand Central post office im. New
York City frequently take two or
three days to be delivered 10 my
office? Why is it that. leuers sent
from nearby towns sometimes take
two or three days? Why is it that we
get only one mail delivery a day,
and in most less advantaged coun-
wies like England, Germany, etc,
they have two deliveries a day? Could
be that the postal employees are
100 busy looking at everybody's mail
through the light

nford

Dr.
Tenally, New Jersey

PRINTER'S ORDEAL

1 was happy to see the item in the
Oaober Forum Newsfront on printer
William F. Schanen, Jr, who refused to
knuckle under to pressure aimed at forc-
ing him to мор printing an underground
newspaper. To those of us who know this
man, пош more welcome than
tional coverage of this issue. People who
arc concerned with freedom ol the press
re responding, Life magazine also carried
article on Schanen and the advertising
boycott organized against him.

Freedom of the press is being tested in
Port Washington, Wisconsin. А man may
lose his life's work because he will not
bow to presure, but the people who
would put Bill Schanen out of business

have forgotten about these of us who
value our freedom 10 read
Marlyce A. Christianson, Chairman

Commi!
w.

ce for Free Press in Wisconsin

ikesha, Wisconsin

COMMUNITY MORALS

The mayor of Miami Beach, Jay
Dermer, recently announced, “Smut and
pornography will be el
this community,” and appointed a nin
member Advisory Committee to Combat
Pornography. A local columnist, Jack
Roberts, thereupon rushed into print with
an enthusiastic pacan for Mayor Dermer's
concern about community morals.
the same Miami Beach
es ло restawran

ed fron

y

at
and horel

workers.
This

ise

the city that allows hig!

59

PLAYBOY

60

apartment builders to build ri
nto the ocean, expropriating
beaches.

This is the city that has poll
swimming waters until they are а stink-
ing mess.

This is the city where high priced call-
girls work all the conventions without
any harassment, but a few cheap whores
are arrested occasionally to make the
police look as if they are on the job.

This is the city where a councilman is
dicrment for influence peddling
of zoning and licensing.

Community morals? A better term, I
think, would be community hypocrisy.

George Guye
North Mia

i, Florida

THE MIND OF THE CENSOR
Psychounalysts talk about a phenome-
non known as “superego lacuna," a kind
ol blind spot that allows a person to do
what he wants even though he has been
conditioned 10 have strong guilt or anxi-
сту feelings about that act. Th nk,

phy for pleur
nt rationalization, he discovers
has а moral duty to protect

that he
others against pornography, Presto: He

is now justified in spending endless hours
poring over sexually stimulating material
—in order to get it banned. The superego
lacuna keeps him ham he
unconsciously, he is enjoyi

ute of it.

David Guzman
Mountain View, California

PORNOGRAPHY AND SEX CRIMES

lam interested in the newspaper re-
ports on the President's Commission on
Obscenity and Pornography, which was
tablished to investigate the саҹ of
such material and, depending on what
these effects were, to recommend appro-
priate legislation regulating disseminztion.
1 note that one of the commissioners. the
Reverend Morton А. Hill, has rebuked
the commission for spending time inve
Sing elles, Reverend Hill. assumes he
knows what the effects. are—presumably
bad ones. This was the attitude of the
dlevies who refused to look through Gali-
leo's telescope: "I'm a true believer; don’t
confuse me with the facts”

Speaking of facts, 1 read an item about
a survey of psychiatrists conducted by the
University of Chicago indicating that
pornography is apparently harmless, Can
you give me more information on that
study?

Sark

ad, Ohio
The study, which was mentioned in the

November "Forum. Newsfront,” queried

psychiatrists and psychologists on what

link, if any, they had found between

pornography and antisocial sexual be-
havior. The research, conducted by Dr.
K. Michael Lipkin, assistant professor of
psychiatry at the University of Chicago,
and Dr. Donald E. Carns, assistant pro-
fessor of sociology af Northwestern Uni-
versity, focused on the observations and
opinions of clinicians who daily teat
behavioral disorders. The questionnaire
pointed out that virtually no direct evi-
dence exists on the effects of pornography
because of the difficulty of setting up valid
experimental situations to measure. the
longterm results of exposure and be-
cause there is a “growing conviction
among mentalhealth experts ihat the
effects. of exposure. to pornography are
too insignificant or sporadic to be readily
measured." Questionnaires went to 7500
psychiatrists and psychoanalysis, about
half of those listed. in the directory of
the American Psychiatric Association, and
1o more than 3000 psychologists, whose
listing in the directory o| the American
Psychological Association indicated clin-
ical experience. Over 3100 of these pro-
Jessionals responded.

The results of the poll will not com-
fort anyone who believes there should
be laws preventing the dissemination of
pornography. Only 74 percent. of the
pryehiatrisis and psychologists had cases
in which they were convinced that po
nogmphy was a caused factor in an
social sexual behawar; an additional 94
percent were suspicious: 3.2 percent did
nal respond and NO. percent stated they
had no cases in which a causal connec
dion was suspected. When asked thei
opinion about the effects of pornography
on the behavior of normal adolescenis—
а hey question, since а good deal of
censorship is predicated оп the basis
that the young are being pratected—mare
Шан jour out of five of the mental-health
experts felt that persons exposed ате nol
mow арі to engage in antisocial sexual
acts than those nol exposed.

Other results give even less aid and
comfort 10 advocates of censorship: 64.9
percent declared censorship socially harur-
ful because. it contributes to a climate
of oppression and inhibition within which
creative indinduals cannot adequately ex-
press themselves; 70.3 percent believed the
real problem in censorship is to find per-
sons qualified to exercise their judgment
over the reading and viewing matenals
of others; 72.4 percent believed that there
is danger that censorship will suppiess true
art along with trash; 86.4. percent agreed
that people who vigorously try 10 suppress
pornagiaphy ave often motivated by unte-
solved sexual problems in their own
characters.

Further responses 10 the questions
show: 57.9 percent did not believe ex-
posure to pornography tends to act аз а
safety valve for antisocial sexual im pulses,
However, 38.9 percent believed pornog-
raphy does help decrease the likelihood
of antisocial sexual behavior. Sixty-two

percent did not believe thal pornogiaphy
that includes violence is more likely to
lead to such behavior; 76.2 percent did not
believe watching violence on TY or in
movies tends to excite some people and
lead frequently to violent behavior; 63.5
percent did not feel that eliminating
censorship would reduce the desire for
pornographic materials; 55.7 percent be
lieved some form of censorship should be
applied lo pornography, but nearly half
of this group fell that the major respon
sibility for censorship should lie with the
family and a fourth, with Federal courts
and laws rather than with local or state
groups: 53.7 percent felt censorship
should be applied to the depiction of
olence, but 004 percent thought it
should not be imposed on erotically arous-
ing materials exclusive of pornography.

Dr. Danicl X. Freedman, chairman of
the department of psychiatry at the Uni-
versity of Chicago, in commenting on
the results, said:

While the results do not show if
the cdimaans had, т fact, systemali-
cally probed the subject of pornogra-
phy, it is clear that the great majority
arc not in pressed with an important
role oj pornography т the develop-
ment of illnesses or antisocial sexual
Behavior.

THE BOOB-TUBE BLUES
Anyone who sill believes there is no
politicians just hasn't been
n Nar long aga the com
any subcommittce of the Senate
tee launched an inves
ation into sex amd violence on televi-
sion and, 10 its own horrified amazement,
exposed an unsuspected cesspool of bot
For example, one outraged legislator re
vealed hat а W
unblushingly bro:
movie titled La Doke
[essed that his mo
promised repeatedly by a “suggestive”
commercial for shaving cream. To answer
for these and similar “violations” of
taste, several network executives were sum-
moned to Capitol Hill. Before being ch:
tened, chastised and shouted down with
the usual genteel Senatorial courtesy, each
was permitted 10 read a statement apolo-
gizing for the corruption of children, Con-
gresmen and other sensitive spe
Ever responsive to jackhammer subtle
ty, АВС and NBC to sub
questionable programs for prev
National Association of Brod:

ious foreign
Vila; another con
had been com-

good

w by the

dent Frank. Stanton.
policy was. "dangerous,"
nificantly ominous rui from
Senators. To the comp "s delight.
CBS promptly consented to submit its
shows—questionable and otherwise—lor

iew by the critics. Somewhere, an

iioi

Meanwhile, National Educa
ision quictly spent the last of its Ford

At the risk of seeming immodest,
we've had a smashing success in the
United States.

There are more Garrards being
used in component stereo systems here
than all other makes combined.

Even we find this a curious fact.

But the die was cast thirty-odd
years ago.

Not parity, but superiority

H. V. Slade, then Managing Di
rector of Garrard Limited, decreed,
"We will sell a Garrard in the U.S. only

when it is more ad-
vanced than any ma-
chine made there."

Acommitment

to, not parity, but ab-
solute superiority.
Spurred by it,
nv saae ioo) pa peen гелип
ble for every major innovation in auto-
matic turntables.

In the thirties, Garrard pioneered
the principle of two-point record sup-
port. Still the safest known method of
record handling. Oddly, still a Garrard
exclusive.

In the forties, we introduced the
aluminum tone arm. Today, widely used
by makers of fine equipment.

By 1961, increasingly sensitive
cartridges had led us to adapt a feature
originally developed for professional
turntables: the dynamically balanced
tone arm, with a movable counter-

Why an
automatic turntable
from Swindon, England
has made it big
inthe States.

weight to neutralize the arm and an ad-
justment to add precisely the correct
stylus tracking force.

In 1964, we added an anti-skat-
ing control, and patented the sliding
weight design that makes it perma
nently accurate.

Then, in 1967, Garrard engineers
perfected the Synchro-Lab motor, a
revolutionary two-stage synchronous
motor.

The induction portion supplies
the power to reach playing speed in
stantly. The synchronous section then
“locks in" to the 60-cycle frequency of
the current to give unvarying speed de-
spite variations in voltage.

"We're bloody flattered”

This year one of cur competitors
has introduced a copy of our Synchro-
Lab motor on its most expensive model.

To quote Alan Say, our Head of
Engineering, “We're bloody flattered.

“After all, being imitated is a
rather good measure of how significant
an innovation really is.”

The new Garrard SL95B features
Still another development we expect
will become an industry standard.

Garrard’s viscous damped tone
arm descent—originally offered to pro-
vide gentler, safer cueing—now oper-
ates in automatic cycle as well.

It seems only logical. Yet, for the

present at least, it is another Garrard
exclusive.

Other 1970 Garrard refinements
include a counterweight adjustment
screw for balancing the tone arm to
within a hundredth of a gram. A win-
dow scale on the tone arm for the stylus
force gauge. Anda larger, more precise
version of our anti-skating control,

Un-innovating

At the same time, we've elimi-
nated a feature we once pioneered. A
bit of un-innovating, you might say.

Garrard's disappearing record
platform is disappearing for good.

We've replaced it with а non-
disappearing record platform. A larger,
stronger support with an easy-to-grasp
Clip that fits surely over the stack.

A small thing, perhaps.

But another indication that H.V.'s
commitment remains with us.

$44.50to $129.50

Garrard standards do not vary
with price. Only the degree of refine-
ment possible for the money.

There are six Garrard component
models from the SL95B automatic
turntable (above) for $129.50 to the
40B at $44.50.

Your dealer can help you arrive
at the optimum choice for your system.

Garrard

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Foundation lunes and applied to Con-
gress for S90.000.000 to meet expenses in
1970. Since legislators. are notoriously
crotchety about dollars donated to any
body below Joint Chiefs of Staff,
naturally occurred а lot of ritual chant
ing over a pitifully shabby fetish called
freedom from Federal control. Most every-
body agreed that education was absolutely
and thar the Government should.
e im this area, lest censorship

sacred
not intery
rise,
As I saîd, anyone who still believes
there is no honor among politicians just
hasn't been paying attention.
A. Peter Hollis
Wilson, North Carolina

THE SINS CONSPIRACY

Last year, the right-wingers in North
Dakota organized against sex education
and began filling the letters columns of
the local papers with their usual rantings
about it gigantic Communist conspiracy.
In response, a group of us created a
fictitious organization, Sex Is Not Sinful
(SINS). and began writing absurd and
satirical lerters of our own. We soon had
requests for membership and the
s on— with great joy and enthusi

iz:

fight w
asm.

Soon we were delighted to hear a Iocal
hairdresser announce, with great solem-
nity, that SINS was a well-known Califor-
sed Communist front devoted to
aphic films,

pro sex
ks with

schools was won by our side.
b we hear that the "Communist
under every bed" gang is regrouping to
munch an attack on the high school
sexed program—and we are looking for-
ward to more fun and lots of laughs
We'd be glad if other rtynov readers
organized local SINS groups. АЙ you
ormal people with a
certain weird sense of humor who are
interested in the complete education of
their children, You'll enjoy the fight, but
don't be surprised if you actually have to
print membership rules, forms, cards,
pins and ev
Pat Crawford
Presi

oup of

Denver, Colorado

ENLIGHTENED SEXUALITY

In the light of all the controversy in
the U.S. about whether sexeducation
courses should be offered in the schools,
мей to read in The Ollawa
Citizen about the enlightened views of
Catholic family-tife expert who vigorous-
ly supports sex education and is sharply

of parental failures in this arca.
ing to the stor

ents should begin sex educa-
even before their children beg
those ticklish questions, says а
leading Roman Catholic family life
specialist

Mrs. Mary Sue McCarthy, а To-
тото mother of seven, believes in
stimulating children's interest in sex.

‘We prepare them for life in
every other way,” she said.

Mrs. McCarthy was interviewed in
Onawa at the Catholic
Conference's family-lile conference,
where she presented national com
mittee’s brief supporting sex eduta-
tion

ad

Later in the interview, she notes the
problems teenagers encounter because ol
the failure of those who should have
taught them «bout

Some young girls recount taking a
birth-control pill just before making
love. “Н ses fertility,” gri
maced Mrs. McCarthy.

Young girls admit to her that they
are not prepared to make the cold
blooded decisions necessary 10 make
efective use of birth-control aids.

One girl felt she was safe because
her boyhri
Their ignora seed is present
from the moment the boy is ready
got her pregnant.

“These are simple lite facts, but
the kids have to know them.

"They're bitter that so few adults
will discuss sexuality honestly with
the

Mrs. Met
for praynov:

thy also had a good word

riayuoy's influence had the good
elfect even the
Roman C. ca new
look reject the idea thar sex
is “concupiscence,” a weakness, а
endency toward evil. or. i E
dhi's view, a draining of cr
energy

Sex with love should m
cativel more ct

“This means a whole new switch
to a positive attitude toward
fulfilling, enriching thing.”

аза

Edward King
Ottawa, Ontario

FIGHTING BACK

тїлүноу his performed a notable
public service in exposing the Aust
lopithecine mentalities who launched the
current attack on sex education. You
have also refured some of their outstand-
ies, misquotations and distortions,
here is one thing, however, that you
haven't told us, and that is what we
need to know most; How can we fight

ез

PLAYBOY

64

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back? What can a concerned parent do
when these baboons descend on his com-
and begin beat Y ribal
drums for a ritual book-I
James O'Malley
Brooklyn, New York.

Most boards of education will defend
themselves against the initial assault. of
extremists, Contact your local board at
this point and lel them know they have
your support—and encourage your friends
to do the хате. This will stiffen. the
boards’ backbones and decrease the likeli-
hood that they will be terrorized into
retreating under attack.

Next, obtain firsthand knowledge of
your district's sex-education program;
learn what films, books and other materi-
als ave actually used. Again, encourage
your friends and neighbors 10 acquire
this knowledge, also. The favorite device
of the extremists іх to circulate near.
pornographic materials, which they claim
are being wed in the local schools. An
informed community will recognize such
forgeries and will not be mobilized into
a panic by them.

Do nol be lulled into a false sense of
security just because the witch-hunters
are a minority. The sex-education pro-
gram of Anaheim, California, frequently
lauded as one of the finest in the nation,
was sabotaged when three opponents of
sex education were elected lo a [ice mem-
her board. Subsequent analysis disclosed
that only 14 percent of the eligible par-
ents had voted—most people had stayed
home, convinced that a small band of
eccentrics could not overturn the school
district. They were wrong.

To avoid a similar mistake, you should
ту to organize a committee of liberal
and libertarian community people to
support the board as soon as it is al-
tacked. The Anaheim experience shows
that an organized minority сап ride
roughshod unorganized (und
apathetic) majority; obviously, they сап.
not do this to a majority that is itself
organized and prepared. Your committee
should include as many well-known com-
munity leaders as possible, so that the
inevitable charges of communism against
them will quickly be spiked

Above all, your committee should keep
im constant communication with the
school board. Yarns about "obscene" in
cidents alleged to have occurred in sex
education classes can easily be checked
by the board with a call to the school
district where the events supposedly oc-
еттей. Then, by rapidly circulating the
correct. facts, the absurd gossip is quashed.
(For instance. the female teacher who
allegedly stripped naked before a coed
class in Michigan is 99 and 41/100 per-
myth. The teacher did not strip
the students were not coed but
all girls; aud the teacher me:

over an

cent

ly changed
dresses behind a screen to show how dif-
ferent garments alter people's perceptions
of the wearer.)

THE OPPRESSED MAJORITY

sa mi reader of your magazine,
I notice that you devote а commendable
amount of space to airing liberal opin-
ions and to pleading the causes of op-
pressed minorities. I1 surprises me a little.
therefore, that you t published more
discussion of t oppressed majorite
who make up 51 percent of the human
race—women.

Since the early explosions of female

iround the end of the last
century, the cause of sexual equality has
definitely flagged. Woman is put on a
pedestal, but that is а narrow place to
stand and it gives one no room to move
or develop independence: Every pedestal
is a trap. Advertising has cast a patina of
gkimor over the facts and women are
Brainwashed into thi
traps are ti
they are equipped with the
nological gadgets.
women are beginn
rebel against this situation and 1 believe
that intel men must support their
cause,

I suspect that a lot of women read
PLAYBOY and I would like to hear their
Opinions on this issue. 1 hope you pul,
lish this and (hat it will daw an in
teresting group of responses After all,
everything else about women is fascinat
ing, so why don't we find ош what is
going on in their brain

Michael Sharwood Smith
Goteborg, Sweden

SEX AND THE CATHOLIC PRIEST

The mere mention of sexuality in
connection with the Catholic priesthood
distresses people who prefer to deny that
priests are sexual beings. In the past. we
glorified men and women who repressed
their sex drives. but it is generally те
nized today that sexual repression is not

. What, then. i
need for

g wih a

wio!

priest's femin flection?
esly sexuality is one of the subjects
ut with in my recently published
book, These Questions Mock Me; here
is а case for sexual love on the par of
priests and it must he stated.

The changing relationship between
priests and women is part of the total
revolution in our thinking about human
relations. The human heart was m
y could be a
great creative force for priests. Our task

for human love. and sexual

not to suppress the body's energies but
to cherish and tend (hem.

Why does sexual behav
of a priest incur the wrath of reli
people? Why should the relationship be
tween a priest and а woman be viewed
they were both immoral, self
indulgent people sacrificing higher ideals
for base self gratification? Would. it not
be more Christian to acknowledge that
the priest is ju need of truc, human

on the part

as thoug

love?

y of communica-
t we have been

only muster
10 use then
The Rev. Pat Murphy
Annunciation Cli
New Orleans, Loui

THE OLD MORALITY
1 quote from an anice in The Wash-
ington Post:

Harry A. Hanuman, the George:
town University student accused of
the rape and murder of an 11-усат-
old girl, was ruled

IDr.
fered

mman gave
xtremely religious upbringing to
such an extent he felt that God and
angels were look: him."
Another psychiatrist, Dr. Brian
said Hantman suffered from
à "very severe obsessive-compulsive
neurosis that deteriorated into psy
chotic schizophra

MHantman's re
Dr. Crowley said, w
"he came to fear ev
mortal sin. He lived in [car
trembling of hell. A cer
of aggression and sexual thought is
allowable in our society, but he
didn’t have those pathways.”

As a result, the doctor said, the boy
о appeared 10 be well behaved was
ke Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”

Another triumphant case of the bene-
ficial cllecis of the old morality.
Homer Ravenhurst
Washington, D. C.

DETENTION CAMPS

While you do not state the source of
your news story entitled "America's Con
centration Camps” (Forum Newsfront,
October). I submit that it is this type of
incomple g reporting,
the provisions of the statute in ques
that creates the “widespread rumors.”

As noted, the statute (Title I1 of the
Internal Seanity Act of 1950, 50 U.S. C.
section BIL and folle ive
only upon the F

noted. th
issued only event of (1) invasions
| States or
ion of war

the United States in aid of a forcign

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the shutter speed and lens opening indicators right in the viewfinder.
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PLAYBOY

66

у. The act can only be applied to an
dual about whom there is reason-
ble cause to believe that he will engage
in acts of espionage or sabotage.

Again, in view of your news item’
statement that a person “charged” unde
the act will not be given a trial, ic

should be noted that the act requires
that each detained person be arresied on
ant specifying his name and stat-
ing the Government's belief, in terms of
probable cause, that he may engape or
conspire 10 engage in sabotage or expio-
ge. In addition, the act provides for a
preliminary hearing on sudi а warrant,
ippeal to a Detention Review Board
judicial review by the courts, and the
right of any individual detained to apply
for а writ of habeas corpus.
These provisions. expressly stated. in
the act, are in keeping with the intent of
Congress:

It is... essential that such deten-
tion . . - shall be so authorized, exe-
cured, restricted and reviewed as to
prevent any interference with the
constitutional rights and privileges
of any person, and at the same time
shall be sufliciently effective to per-
mit the performance by the Congress
ıl the President of their constitu-
nal duties.

In short, a basic purpose of the act is
to provide methods (consistent with due
process) t protect our national defense
during the specified emergencies and 10
aion on an individ-

ual’s actual potential for espionage and
sibonige rather than on his membership
thin a cert i This

oup
ast with (he procedures
were sanctioned by the courts and
the days following the out

wrong co

th
utilized in

br of World War Two.
Whether or not this stati
sary or wise of course,

and [offer here only
pretation of the law. My point is
iar such debares should be based on
torrea and complete information.
Robert L. Keuch
Attorney at Law
Department of Justice
Internal Security Division
Washington, D.C.

The more complete the information,
the move dangerous appears the Internal
Security Act, which permits the Govern
ment a good deal more discretion—and
power—than Mr. Keuch acknowledges.
Tine, the act may be invoked only under
certain conditions; but the important
qnestion is who defines an “insurrection”
or determines it to be “in aid of а for-
cign enemy.” А substantial number of
people їп and ош of the Government
appear already 10 believe that student
disorders and antidralt demonstrations
amount to “insurrection” and ave “in
aid” of a foreign enemy, whether or not

te

ay personal

a foreign government has planned or
financed them.

In his references to persons subject to
detention under the act, Keuch makes no
distinction between those who probably
“will engage їп” espionage от sabotage
and (in the language of the statute) per-
sons "as lo whom there is reasonable.
ground to believe . . . will conspire with
others.” Not only does this language
subily shift the inquiry fram the consti-
tulionally established standard of “prob-
able cause,” with its long history of
judicial interpretation, but it includes
the legal rubric of “conspiracy.” How far
this ill-conceived legal doctrine сап be
stretched has been recently demonstrated
in the Boston iral of Dr. Benjamin
Spock and others, where the defendants
re charged with “conspiracy” even
though they had never met as a group.

Despite Keuch’s detailed. description
of the procedures thal must be followed
to effect detention, the fact remains that
the procedures da not provide for trial.
v is the warrant, which Kench men-
tions, a judicial warrant. as many would
assume, but rather a special. Attorney
General's warrant, which is issued not by
a judicial officer on the basis of “probable
cause" to bring an individual to trial but
issued by a Government agency on its
n "reasonable belief" to effect his de-
tention. This procedure bypasses tradi-
tional and important legal safeguards of
the accused: it also substitutes presump-
tion of guile for [nesumptivn of inne
сепсе.

The other safeguards described by
Kench are more illusory than real. For
example, the preliminary-hearing officer
may be anyone outside the Justice Depart-
ment whom the Attorney General chooses
la appoint—a Federal security agent, a
local police official, a military officer.
Moreover, the Internal Security Ad does.
not limit the amount of time the Deten-
tion Review Board may delay in deciding
a given case and it authorises this board
to hear secret evidence, which the de-
taince docs not hear and lo which no
reference need be made in the board's
final des

WHITE PARENTS, BLACK CHILD

1 read a newspaper story that illus-
trated for me what compassion and
tne Americanism mean and abo cx-

posed the racism that is infecting this
country. À white couple in Michigan
dopt a three-year-old boy whose
mother is the man’s ex-wife. The child
was conceived after the mother was com-

is a Negro who was also a patient.
The couple obtained temporary custody of

the child when he was three months old.
So far, their efforts to ol pennanent
custody have been refused by а judge

who, according to newspap
bases his decision on the simple
the child appears to be black.

accounts,
t that

“He looks black to me. He obviously is

a Negro," the judge is quoted as si
"There is no question about it. This child
obviously is a Negro," he added. Later
the newspaper account, the judge argued
that a Negro child can't be raised by a
white famil n't vou see, if this child
grows up with his family, whe
to be 16 or 17, who will he
to school with only whit
he have the s
to school in [the local
How cm a judge dec
annot have his child in his home, re-
gardless of whether that child is black or
white? Doa black America
proud of it. At present, my wile
with the consent of our daughter
keep her children from a previous mir-
riage. Physically, the children appear to
be white. We live in a racially mixed
hborhood: the childr
gh my wile and Id
hear snide and ugly remarks hom b
people, as well as white. We
ly happy with these youngsters in our
home.

We old-timers ask ourselves nowadays
why young Americans are so rebellions,
wer is that they are rebel-
system that permits racism,

TE he goes
‚коша

e extreme-

is judge is helping to perpetu-
man

ме. | always thonght the right of
to stand npa
good Chri
part of democracy. И not, m
a like myself sı
in the past World W
people keep irving 10 di
mo two societies, one bh

James Pinkney
New York, New York

LAW AND ORDER

An ad originated by the Contine
ak, which appeared
d commented on

in several newspa
Law Day, read:

Because from the simplest trallic
rule to the most complex. corporate
regulation, it all adds up to the
same thing. Laws tell people how to
act, so they can get along and be
nice to cach other.

Find a law that doesn't. do this,
nd you've found a bad onc. But
there aren't many. And they don't

ts anot!
about on Law Day.

This pious passage describes what
might be, and should be, but certainly
not what is. The bad laws far outnumber
the good ones on our statute books
Besides the basic minimum rules on how
to be піссе rules that say if a man
conks his neighbor on the head or steals
his money. society will step in before he
cm similarly assault the rest of е
have two other classes of laws, and they

thing to think

Why did over 3⁄4 million record and
tape collectors pay 55 to join

Record Club of America

when other record or tape clubs
would have accepted them free?

Columbia
Record Club.
(as advertised

Capitol
Record Club.

n Lock.
Feb. 4, 1969)

Columbia
RCA Victor | Stereo Tape

Record Club.

me:
Feb. 16. 1965) | in Playboy

May 19691

ee | ү RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA

CAN vou
CHOOSE FRON

KL LABELS?”

ҮР OR TAPES,

INCLUDING NO
CARTRIDGE.

CASSETTE ANO

ВЕР TO REEL

TAPES”

Cnoose any LP or tape
©л eny lebel!No excep
ons? Over 300 бй

YES! ent manuiseturers

eluding Colum
BCA Viclor, Capitol:
Boel, London, ete

ANNOUNCING...
SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY
HALF-PRICE MEMBERSHIP

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MAIL COUPON BELOW TODA
COMPLETE TAPE SERVICE AT NO
EXTRA MEMBERSHIP

LP DISCOUNTS то [9% —PRICES AS
Low as 996 реп nEcoRD!

Typical alrlabel "Extra Discount” sale
BUDGET SERIES AT Y? PRICE ... $ .99

Frank Sinatra = Petula Clark • Glen Campbell
Nat Cole = Dean Marlin * Dave Brubeck

"UST YOU BUY
A MINIMUM
NUMBER OF
RECORDS OR
TAPES”

HOW Ману?

No obligations! No
| Yearly quota! Take as
NONE! many, as few, or none
al all if you so decide!

Jack Jones * John Gary and others

BUDGET SERIES AT Y2 PRICE. $1.25
Woodie Guthrie = Distrakh = Richter = Callas
Rod McKuen * Tebaldi * Steinberg * Krips

HOW NUCH
MUST YOU
SPEND TO.
FULFILL YOUR
LEGAL
OBLIGATION?

$43.18
16

CAN you BUY
ANY RECORD
OR TAPE YOU
WANT AT A
UISLUUNI

You don't have to spend
ZERO 27 21, ci ente

DOLLARS '« bur even е single

record or tape!

You get discounts up
OFF. Cuaran.

ALWAYS! teed never less tran a

third! No exceptions!

Peter Seeger * Munch * Casals and others.
BEST SELLERS AT 72 PRICE $2.49
Herb Alpert = Simon & Garfunkel * Ramsey Lewis.

Belafonte • Supremes • Mamas & Papas
The Cream ,* Eddie Arnold • Monkees and others...
ples. «Hon 0% го аз high ca 79%, discount om
{ото lobels- RCA Victor, Cogilcl, Columbia, Decco,
Liberty, Motown, Elektre, Vonguord, ord others.

00 vou гун
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UNOROEREO
RECOROS OR
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[Row tone
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WAIT FOR
SELECTIONS
TO ARRIVE?

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yOu gel he more you saw

38 R-2 © 1969 RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA, INC.

There are no cards
winch you must гейш,
Оту the records ond
NEVER! pes you want are sent
3nd only when You ask

us to send them

INO LONG Your order me

same day recewed No

WAITS! Зоте on cycle

TAPE DISCOUNTS— 331376 Ац LABELS
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RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA
Club Headquarters, York, Pa. 17405

Yes-Rush me lifetime Membership Card, Free Giant Master
LP Catalog (check box below if you also wish Naster Tape
Catalog) and Disc and Tape Guide at this limited Special
Introductory Half Price membership offer. 1 enclose-NOT
the regular $5.00 membership fee- but $2.50. (Never another
club fee for the rest of my life.) This entities me to buy any
LP's and Tapes at discounts up to 79% plus a small mailing
and handling charge. 1 ат not obliged to buy any records or
lapes-no yearly quota, | not completely delighted | may
turn items above within 10 days for immediate refund of
membership fee. [J Send Master Tape Catalog
Also send. Giff Nembershipis) at $1.00 each to the
names on allached sheet. Indicate master catalogs required.
1 enclose Total of $__ covering one $2.50 Lifetime
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ship fee.
x9701 1

Print Name.
Address

city —

67

PLAYBOY

68

make up the majority of our statutes.
The second, and largest, group comprises
those laws passed at the behest of lobby
ists for the one hall of one percent ol
the population that owns most of the
property of the country, These laws are
there lor one purpose only: to stack
the deck and load the dice in such a way
that the game of free enterprise never
becomes really free and so that the present
ig class will remain in power forever
Ї these laws are just, or Т
ісе. Their Created
New Lelt
те cadis of Mar wb anarchists
currently in rebellion in our stre
он our campuses. The third class of laws
compr
out vict
I the moralistic
oses and оше
rest of us what intoxicants we may
what harmless pleasures we may enjoy
and even what positions we may use
while making love in our own bedrooms.
This group ol laws has created ihe hip.
pics. the Yippies and rhe entire youth
rebellion, which started as merely an
assertion of what Herbert Spencer called
the tight to ignore the state and has
moved, under police persecution, into a
position almost as rebellious and. mili
tant ay the New Left, In boil cases, the
revolutionary mood—and disrespect for
law and order—was «тесу caused by
laws that had no right to exist in the
Inst plac
Tam not y [or the frequent
stupiditics, indccencies and coercive be
havior of the New Lelt and the hippies:
1 pointing out how they were
created. 1 would also like то point out
that il laws were reduced to the m
mum necessary 1o dell people how 10
ict, so they con get along and be
one smother, there would be no contempt
lor the police, no widespread and org:
ized resistance to government and no
need for the Continental Hlinois Na-
tional Bank to preach to us abont how
we should Iecl on Law Day.
Simon
Chica

blu

ice LO

Moon
ШШЩ

EQUAL MARTYRDOM FOR МЕМ

In response то Mis, Hickey's objection
10 women being drafted into the military
(The Playboy Forum, September), 1 no-
tice that she considers “women” as
mothers” and defends their exemption
on the basis of motherhood. Yet, when
she coutemplites а man being diafied.
she relers 10 “boy.” rather than
lici" Now, if women should be
spared because they are potential moth
ers, then men should be spared because
they are potential Fathers

Meanwhile, to restore some historical
and ¢ their due, 1
propose an international agreement that
during the next 50 years all wars be
conducted and fought exclusively by

n as
as

balance ve women

women. For too long, women have been
denied the glory of fighting for their
countries. Mrs. Hickey tells it like it is

when she says, "lt is not that mothe
will not serve in the military: it is that
ot. They have already given all
their country—sometinics. а
nal brothers." My propos-
automatically eliminate these
cod. women's sacrifices by keeping their
husbands, sons d brothers at home
where they belong. This would nor only
Tree women for the battlefields but would
ce to make their own
men must discover wh:
nes, а wile, si
ters or daughters—for their countries.

Nor should disabled women be denied
the pride of wearing a military uniform.
As Mrs. Hickey would say: Just think
how proud a handicapped girl would be,
if allowed to wear the uniform of the
United States Army. She could do office
work and still be part of this wonderful
country.

al would

Camon Mawab
Las Vegas, Nev

REFORMING THE ARMY

The Army has been the subject of
many literary fusillades in The Playboy
Forum, and, до be sure, many of them
were deserved. However, 1 feel that it is
specific people within the Army, nor the
Army itself. who should come under
verbal fire

Having served in six enlisted amd
three commissioned: grades. T have һай
the opportunity 10 observe the Army
from. varying perspectives. including that
of а civilian (during fiveyeay break in
service). It has been my observation that

most of the olficers who deserve criticism
are from the group in our society aptly
m

dubbed by one Forum. leer. writer
“good old clean-cut, politically ас
uiernity oriented, beer-drinking crowd."
Stag Dars in olhicers clubs aye dunered
with them. Many of these types are at-
tracted to the R. O. T. C. because it beats
privare, and those who aren't
weeded out by the program ріп on sold
bars and become Army ollicers though
they may not have developed the neces
sary qualities of maturity and judgment.
The demand lor good officers [ar exceeds
the supply

The Army cannot be changed by writ
ing new rules and regulations. B is the
people who fuultily interpret these rules
and regulations whe must be changed.
The Uniform Code of Мату Justice is
not unjust, but
plied. Army regulations do not seek to
deprive a soldier of his individuality, but
shortsighted and ruthless interpretation
of them makes it appear as such.

As commander of a basic-traming com-
pany. 1 ran it the way I wished my
company had been run when 1 was a
trainee. Hopefully, the men under mc
finished their eight weeks wi

i ca

be unjustly ap.

hou. d

veloping a dislike for the Army.
stall olbice
huma

Аз a
. 1 regard my subordinates as
beings: the rank on their sleeve
title by which to address
ı indication of their

" in and rise to a position
where they сап do something besides
complain.*Let those outside who are se
vere critics join the Army and also work
to change its auitudes. D have
known the Army to be reluctant to ei

a man because he is 100 enlightened, too
intelligent or too judicious. The Army
needs such. qualiti its officers а
N.C. Os and I'm sure it would welcome

A SIMULATED ATOMIC WARHEAD

L have just lost my job as a civilian
on t Kw
ppened alter I wrote
al nore to rhe comm
range, in which I described
on observing the recniy of a
atomic warhead fired from. V.
Air Force Base. The note read

ny feelings
О
ndenberg

Has this society, as a whole, for-
gouen the horrors of Nagasaki and
Hiroshima?

If the individual conscience in
position of authority does not speak
out. for tear of humi per-
sonal los. the collective conscience
ol the civilization will continue 10
spiral downward toward total disin-
tegration.

law nights mission made a pro-
found impression—I just had to get
this off my chest.

ation. or

The nest day, 1 was called on the

carpet, told that the Anny could. not

employ a man with my views and fied
B. G. Wallace

Honolulu, Hawaii

THE HEAD HUNTERS
Mns

The
bad th everybody
example r being in the Army fo
three years including Vietnam and Fort

a
for

Take me

tery commander had
nspection and ound a roller.
strawberrydlavored. papers. ch clip.
and a booklet extolling the joys of pot in
locker. The Amys Са
Division (known to us
the “head hunters”) was called in imme
The man from C. 1. D. looked in
my panel tuck dor my stash, bu
couldn't find it. He finally searched my
Gvilianshirt pockets with microscope in
hand and came up with lour типше
fragments of grass that totaled less than
half a seed. ‘This made it à legal bust

My d ler wanted me
to get a general court-martial, but the

our ba

diately

n comm;

staff judge advocate said no—insufficient
evidence. This left the career
only one alternative: an r:
discharge. Since I had reenlisted for six
years (being a damn fool at the time),
this meant Í cleared out five years caly.
H's great to be free
(Name and address

withheld by request)

MARIJUANA AND JUSTICE
Thank you for publishing my letter
about the girl who received a sentence of
two ro fifteen years for posesion of
marijuana, even though two psych
and the prosecutor himself had urged
probation (The Playboy Forum, June).
Your readers might be interested 10
know later developments in this case.
According to the Akron Beacon Journal

Ninth District Court of Appeals
threw out the prison term imposed
by the Summit County Common
Pleas Judge Evan J. Reed.

‘The court sent the сазе back to
Judge Reed for [the defendant] to
be sentenced again, this time accord-
ing to “due process of law.

Defense Attorney Donald А. Pow-
ell argued to the appeals court that
[the defendant] had been deprived
of due process and that Reed had
“abused the court's discretio

‘The appeals court ignored the
abuse
of due
psychiatrie reports.

[Prosecutor] Gal

ioi
in the handling of

ас stid he would
make a strong recommendation for
probation, amd added, “It can't be
any stronger than it was last time."

Robert A. Blunk
Streetsboro, Ohio

CONJUGAL VISITATION
Trecently inquired about the conjugal-
wrer-

Institution chachapi, and
received the following гері

Since our two family v
apartments were activated on
1968, throu December 31, 1
ys with a total of 357 people oc
cupying the units during that six-

the six-month period,

(mates took e ol
the program, with several havi
or more two-day visiting per
with the wives
mbers following
ly limit
ed, there has been some feedback,
Ш of which has been overwhelm
ly in favor of the program, with one
wile commenting that it not
been for the visit and the und
standing she received
quence, she would h:

s has been understands

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Brandy end the peel of bitter oranges... c delightful drink in a snifter...or
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IMPORTED FROM FRANCE / WADE FROM FINE COGNAC BRANDY / 80 PROOF /CARILLON IMPORTERS, LTD.

the

bare
essential

In essence: the perfect gift.
This is the fragrance that
brings out the playmate in her,
turns on the playboy in you. A
half ounce of Playboy's pro-
vocative perfume, beautifully
gifl boxed, $15. Use order no.
TB20001. Please add 50€ for
handling.

Shall we send a gift card in your name?
Sond check or money order to: Playboy
Products, The Playboy Building, 99 N.
Michigan Ave., Chicage, Hl. 60611. Playboy
Club credit Keyholders may charge.

P=

59

PLAYBOY

70

rejected him upon his arrival home
following. p:
The program has cost nothing in
май and prob-

terms of material,

apart
only cost in day-to-day operation of
the units is changing supplies and
which is most likely offset
vings in feeding cost for the
te occupying the ап
ng food pro
rather than his institutional ration
g the visiting period.

It is anticipated that the rate of
occupancy of the apartments will
i е during the succeeding s
month period due to favorable report-
i he n by partici

1 hope you will publish this. to en-
¢ extension of the program and
(hopefully) ion of similar pro-
grams elsewhere.

Russell Henly
Los Angeles, California

AFTER PRISON
The leners in The Playboy Forum
erning the failures of our prisons
are true. It is not only stupid but
economically unsound to have a pen
system that leads to more crimes.
Even worse, however, is the way we
treat onr crimin:
prison, If any convict, miraculously, 1
been rehabilitated in prison and. genu-
incly wants to lead a noncriminal lile, we
then erect an obstacle course for him. He
will find it hard to get a decent job.
Many employers who do hire ex-cons are
ot idealists but actually have ulterior
motives: They pay the lowest possible
wages, knowing that these men have Hit-
the chance of finding a better position
jobs require bond-

ly

«

frer

cluded.

If we want any of our criminals to be
bilitared, we will eventually have to
do something about all these problems,
especially the bonding pitfall, Ie is ridic-
ms to release а man from prison
when he is unable to get a fairly good
job outside and then pretend. astonish-
ment il he falls into crime again.

Kenneth H. R. Sim
Nanaimo, British Columbia

u

SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN
When

I was 17 years old, I made a
y friends and 1 took a joy
a stolen car. We were subsequent
ly caught and convicted, and 1 was given
two years’ probation

T am now 22 and I am still paying for
my mistake. | have been sentenced to
never having а good, responsible job.
Not long ago, 1 had an opportunity to
work for one of the largest insurance

companies in the nation. I took а battery
of aptitude tests, on which 1 did extreme-
ly well. I was given every indication that
I was the man they were looking for.
They then investigated my background
and suddenly started acting as il I had
the plague. More recently, I was inter-
viewed for a job in the insurance division
of one of the largest trucking companies
in New England. I spoke with the
president, who told me that 1 w.
man lor the position
morning, I called them

ter checking

I have tried telling about my past
when interviewed, receiving everythi
from the bum’s rush to a polite brush-off.
Tm not asking 1 favors. m
young, fairly intelligent and ambitious. I
will soon be married and I would like a
good life for us. All I want is a chance,
which, so far, I have been denied.

How much longer am J. and others
like me, going to bc damned Гог mis-
takes we made as adolescents? The black.
people have also been denied, but society
is now trying to help them. Who is trying
10 help people like Who is con-
cerned? Who even gives а damn?

Bob Burrell
Easton, Massachusetts

B

ABORTION REFORM

From reading rLayboy's news and Iet-
ters columns. one would think that the
United Sunes is still in the siip of hupe-
lessly restrictive abortion laws. and that
every ellort to improve the situation is
quickly defeated. by puritanical legisla
tors. While this may too often be thc
case, I think it unfair to suggest that no
progress is bein As a premed
student, 1 am rather familiar with the
subject and know that quite a few states
ve recently passed laws that could рет-
mit legal abortions, in some cases, sin
ply on “psvchologicil” grounds. PLAYBOY
should point this out.

mrington,

Since 1967, ten states have liberalized
their abortion laws to include preserving
the woman's mental or physical health, the
possibility of fetal deformity, cases of
таре or incest, or all of these, as grounds
for therapeutic nbortion. Com pared with
most slates, which still prohibit abor-
tion except to preserve the lije of the
woman, the new laws may be considered
liberal, but, in actual. practice, they do
not remotely approach the “abortion-on-
demand” laws of some foreign countries.
They are neither as lenient as their op-
ponents generally claim nor do they
necessarily benefit the average woman,
married or single, who may desperately
wish to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.

Often this is due not to the strictness
of the law but to its narrow interpreta-
tion by conservative medical boards or
cautious physicians who must authorize

therapeutic abortions. For example, the
“mental-health” clause may be applied
only in cases of conspicuous mental ill
ness or when a woman has altempted or
convincingly threatened suicide. Similarly,
the “Jetal-dejormity” clause тау require
medical proof of rubella (“German or
“three-day” measles), a relatively mild dis-
ease that frequently goes unrecorded if
a woman is unaware of her pregnancy
and does not seek medical treatment. In
either case, the laws work to the advantage
of the higher socioeconomic classes, who
have access to physicians and psychia-
trits willing to interpret a statute. as
liberally as possible. In a jew states,
authorization may be granted more or
less automatically upon certification by
one or more consulting physicians. Other
states require affirmative action [rom
either a hospital review "board" (defined
by the statule) or from a hospital review
“authority” (required by law but defined
by the hospital). Such action may take
several days от weeks, but most states
waive some or all of these requirements,
including residency requirements (if any).
where the mother’s life is in imminent
danger.

The most liberal of the new laws is
Oregon's, which permis two. physicians
fone personal and опе consulting) to
judge the danger lo a woman's physical
or mental health on the basis of her
“total environment, actual or reasonably
foreseeable.

UNWED MOTHER'S OPINION

I am 29, unmarried and have h
baby whom I gave up for adoption. 1
ruled out abortion, mostly for fin:
reasons. "The people who loved
cared for me were willing to stand by
me: thus, the experience of having a
baby out of wedlock and giving it up lor
adoption did not hurt me emotionally;
but not everyone is so lucky.

Im in favor of more liberal abortion
aws. Too many girls аге hurt, mentally
and physically, by the present system. IF
a girl can't cope with unwed pregnancy
1 childbirth, she should be able to
k help that is legal апа reasonably.
priced. The result would be fewer girls
destroyed. by unwanted. pregnancy and
more girls wlio are happy, healthy wives
and mothe

sc

Sue Johnson
Playa del Rey, California

TWO PREGNANT GIRLS

A girl 1 knew becime pregn
17 and for nime months she
through hell. She was afraid 10 be seen
in public and quit high school, though
she had а B+ average and a college
acceptance. The baby's father neglected
her completely, aside from one attempt
to take her io court to prove that the
child wasn’t his. Her parents were un-
ble to pay any of her medical bills and
she had to accept all the financial

at age
went

Avisn Andy

n

how

A lot of important people lend
their names to corporations without
ever lending their skills.
Avis has asked STP’s Andy
Granatelli — one of the world's
foremost auto experts — to help
write a check-out manual for all of our
mechanics to follow.
Soeverything Andy Granatelli
would do to check-out our cars,
Avis' mechanics will do.

If theres a faulty fan belt on an Avis
car in San Francisco, it will be replaced
the way our check-out manual says it
should be replaced.

When a car goes through a bumper
to bumper check in New York, it should
be doneas our check-out manual says it
should be done.

Avis has distributed this manual to
its mechanics throughout the country.

It will help insure that the Plymouth you
rent from Avis runs like a dream.

It also could help to insure the
greatest road show ever.

The Avis `n Andy Show.

H youthink Avis tries harder,
you аіпїѕееп nothing yet.

CAVIS RENTA CAR SYSTEM, INC, AWORLDWIDE SERVICE OF ТТТ

PLAYBOY

72

responsibilities herself. When she finally
gave birth and signed the papers giving
the baby up for adoption, she had
changed from а happy, friendly, ambi
tious, normal teenager into a hard, cold,
unsmiling, unhappy woman. No опе
should be put through this.
A second girl who was the same age,
tended the same school and had the
same friends fell i same situation
This girl, however, had a quick and safe
abortion, She stayed in school and went
on to college, where she is doing well.
There i» no question in my mind
which path is best.

Mrs. Sharon Prasser
San Diego, California

ABORTION AND THE CONSTITUTION
Like Dr. Leon Belous, whose convic-
tion under a California abortion law
recently overturned by that state's su-
preme court (Forum Newsfront, Decem-
ber), I am contesting abortion laws in
New York and Washington, D.C. I
hope, through the Federal courts, to 1:
all the abortion laws in the Ur
es declared unconstitutional. During
my professional life, 1 have been arrested
seven times as an abortionist and have
served nine years and three months in
prison for my civil disobedience. | am
gratified to see that Dr. Belous appeal
was supported by 179 professors. and
deans of medical schools and 17 Cal
lawyers. They, as friends of the
reed with my longheld view
legislation infringes
«eral Constitutional pro.
inst deprivation of liberty
t due process of law and violates
the physician's fundamental duty t0 pr
rice medicine in his parent best
terests.
I believe that if the precedent set by
the California supreme court's decision is
applied to other cases, it won't be long
before abortion is generally recognized as
purely a medical matter between a wom-
nd her doctor.
Nathan Н. Rappaport, M. D.
Miami Beach, Florida

PSYCHOSEXUAL DISTURBANCE

The Playboy Forum publishes a great
deal of opinion about whether or not
preferential homosexuality is a disturb-
ance of psychosexual development, but
little or nothing definitive that might
tend 10 take the issue out of the realm
of pure opinion. In an article for Science
and Psychoanalysis, titled “Homosexual
Activity and Homosexuality in Adole
cence.” D addressed mysell to that que
Чоп

This author sides wi
ty in considerin

h the majori.
preferential homo-
sexuality to be a sign of disordered
development, Gershman states
premise clearly: “It is in
ure of the male and female

to develop. function and relate as
such, provided that the necessary
healthy components of growth are
made available in the formative
years If that does not obtain, then
the assumption Че that psycho-
logical obstructions to such m.
tion have occurred." This does not
mean that homosexual experiences
—perhaps repeated. experiences—
may not occur in development. 10-
ward normal heterosexuality, but it
does mean that homosexuality
preferred mode of sexual gra
fication is pathognomonic of dis-
turbed development.

Tt may be asked, if preferential homo-
sexuality is gratifying to the individual,
in what sense is it a disturbance? Pro-
ceeding on the premise that the individ-

|. by the time he has reached full
reproductive capacity, is biologically pre-
disposed to ultimate heterosexual prefer-
ence, 1 see adaptation 10 adult sexuality
as a major psychosexual task of adoles
cence. И the eyo, as developed in child-
hood, is not equal to this task (which is
perhaps made more difficult for the ado-
lexent in this culture than in some
other), it will be unable to integrate
the new

rs can lead to preferential homo-
sexuality in adulthood:

Regardless ol the rationalizations
of homosexuals themselves, and the
confusion of the cultural relativists,
homoerotic object choice by preler-
ence is a confession of the inability
to be competitively and reproduc-
tively heterosexual. Homosexuality
relinquishment. of the task
posed by puberty and a return to
genetically earlier, nonreproductive
sexual gratification

Warren J. Gadpaille. M. D.
Denver, Colorado

HOMOSEXUALS' RIGHT TO WORK

"The October Forum Newsfront report-
ed the U.S. Court of ruling
that Federal Civil Service employees may
not be fired merely because they are
homosexual. As a former Civil Service
mployee who served over six years with
the Department of the Navy and over
five years with the Department of De
feme, this news comes 100 late to be of
any comfort to me. 1 was honorably
discharged from the Army alter serving

in World War Two and alo from
the Air Force Reserve in 1965. In my
111 years of Federal employment, 1

ned three awards for work perform-
ice and made rapid progress. The first
black mark on my record on my
final-separation papers, which read:
Employee resigned after being told of
proposed removal action for admired

homosexual acts.” This occurred because
a supposed friend had tried to get out of
serious trouble by implicating almost
every acquaintance in his address book
and this "information" counted for more
than my record of service. At the age of
39, 1 was forced to begin a new life
new place and, because of the stated
reason for my res n, with no
chance for a decent job. | have been
forced into bankruptcy and now face
life with little prospect of improvement
I am glad to hear that the Government
can по longer treat others as it has
treated me. I hope the ruling will help
me im my fight for reinstatement—but
nothing can wndo the harm that has
ady bcen done.

me and address
withheld by request)

HOMOSEXUALS AND THE LAW

As a homosexual, my rights as a citi
zen have been ignored both by law
enforcement officers and by the Justices
of the U. S. Supreme Court. Í have been
arrested twice during raids on gay bars.
Zach time the charges were dropped for
lack of evidence of any crime. During
one of these arrests. 1 refused to employ
the bondsman who was provided by the
ollicer in charge of the raid. As a result, I
was beaten,

1 myself owned а gay bar for a while
and was continually harassed by the
police, because 1 refused to pay them olf.
Vice squad decoys will go as far as kissing
homosexuals in order to tempt them into
making sexual advances, A Miami ordi
nance reinforces the attitude that homo-
sexuals have no rights as citizens or,
indeed, as people by forbiddir
owner to serve or to employ homosexuals
How them to gather in his bar. T
have unsuccessfully fought this ordinance
the courts, firmly believing that it is a
gross violation of the constitutional right
to associate freely. The U, S. Supreme
Court has refused to examine the ordi-
nance. My expe
solute

bar

or tà

ences lead me into ab-
ement with Dr. Alan Watts,
that “There will be respect for
ty only when authority itself is
respectable.”

Richard Inman

jami, Florida

“The Playboy Forum” offers the oppor
tunity Jor an extended dialog, between
readers and editors of this publication
on subjects and issues raised їп Hugh
M. Hefner's continuing editorial series,
“The Playboy Philosophy.” Four booklet
reprints of “The Playboy Philosophy

including installments 1-7, 8-12, 13-19
and 19-22, ате available at 50€ per bouk-
let. Address all correspondence on both
“Philosophy” and "Forum" to: The
Playboy Forum, Playboy Building, 919 N.
Michigan Ave., Chicago, Hlinois 60611.

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in seven generations.
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N

os. RAQUEL WELCH

a candid conversation with hollywood's hottest sex symbol—
and the improbable star of “myra breckinridge"

Since the Twenties, when Theda Bava
became America's. first female sex sym
bol, Hollywood has seaiched unceasingly
for young beauties who could jan the
American males erotic fantasies. In. the
Thirties, il was Jean Harlow: during the
Forties, Belly Grable and Rita Hayworth
look turns turning on film audiences;
and in the Fifties and Sexties, respec-
tively, Marilyn Monroe and beth
Taylor personified the U.S. sexual deity.
ds we head into the Seventies, à new cine-
ma siren in the old tradition has emerged

browneyed, chestnuthaived, spectacn-
larly structned Raquel Welch. H has
laken the ear-old actress little more
than four years lo eclipse a multitude of
puldwitudinous pretenders to the throne.
Raquel’s revealing photographs—the most
famous displaying her 37-2235 form
swathed skintight in a doeskin bikini

can be seen not only in GI barracks
but in captured Viet Cong bunkers as
well. And comedian Johnny Carson has
accurately called her “the kind of girt
you'd take home to Mother and Dad—if
they were gone for the weekend"
û a great extent, Raquel’s va pid rise
from $2350-a-week billboard girl on the
“Hollywood Palace” television show to
$325,000-a-film superstar (her salary far
playing the title vole in “Myra Brechin.

ridge”) can be attributed [0 the acumen
of Patrick Синіх, initially her manager
and currently her second husband. A
onetime child actor, Curtis quit his job
as a press agent three weeks after meel-

ing Raquel at a Sunset Boulevard coffee
shop and formed a joint business part-
ЦІ

nership— е1 Productions —of which
Miss Welch was the sale asset.

Like thousands of movie hopefuls who
migrate lo Hollywood cach year, her
credentials rather nebulous. She
was bom Raquel Tejada to Castilian
Spanish and EnglishScattish parents,
who moved from Chicago to La Jolla,
California, when she was two. Raquel's
uneventful teenage years at La Jolla
High School—highlighted by nothing
more impressive than a summer-stack
role as an Indian maiden—ended in
marriage to James Welch, who fathered
her eo children, Damon and Tahnee.
Following thew 1903. divorce, she sup-
ported herself for the next two years by
‚ working as a cocktail waitress
and making occasional appearances on
San Diego TV talk shows. Soon ajter, she
met Curtis, who immediately proved to
be the perfect catalyst for her career.
Mep number one of his plan was to
make her known to Hollywood. execu-
tives in a position to offer her employ-

were

modelin

ment. A bil part as a hooker in “A
Hone Is Not a Home" was followed hy
the lend in a low-budget beach movie,
“A Swingin’ Summer,” in which she per-
formed a highly sensual striptease

But Raquel’s first measurable impact
on the film industry came not on the
sewen but at the 1965 Hollywood Deb
Star Ball, a hokey beauty pageant spon
sored by movie hairdressers, at which she
so outshone the other starlets in attend-
ance that a 20th Century-Fox producer
who was introduced lo her that night
arranged a sereen test on the spot. H led
to Raquel’y vole in “Fantastic Voyage,”
one of the better science-fiction films in
recent. years, Although Miss Welch's ex-
ploitable assets were concealed. through
onl the proceedings in а cumbersome
iret хий, this oversight was immediately
corrected in “One Million Years B.C.”
a monstrous prehistoric saga shot in the
Canary Islands. Playing an Amazonian
ewe woman, Raquel pranced around
grassy landseapes and talked to the plero-
daciyls white attired in little more than
tattered animal shins.

Shortly theyeafler began мер two of
the big һийфир: Christmas cards de-
picting a skimpily clothed Raquel stand-
ing on a mountaintop were dispatched
around the world to move than 10,000

“The label sex goddess somehow eclipses
ything else about you. A sex goddess
isn’t a veal living thing. She's a plastic
lady. She's Superwoman, She has no intel-
lect, no emotions, no anything.”

“There's beauty in every part of the body
—aracefully curving shonlders, a flat, firm
tummy, the shape of the buttocks and the
way it moves, the softness of the pubic
area. All that is tremendously sensual.”

"There's no one who's liberated to the
point the American woman is and yet
handles it worse. She holds her freedom
like a club and beats the guy with it until
he's gol stars coming out of his head.”

75

PLAYBOY

76

film exhibitors, magazine editors and
newspaper veporters. Within 18 months,
European periodicals were calling her
“The Most Beautiful Girl in the World”
and her unforgettable body and toothy
smile had appeared on nearly 200 magn-
zine covers, Moviegoers flocked to her
next four films, all of them somewhat
unfortunate: “The Biggest Bundle of
Them АЙ”; “The Lovely Ladies"; “Shoot
Loud, Louder . . . I Don’t Understand";
and “Fathom” Raquel's appearance in
“Bedazzled” (which cast her, appropri-
ately enough, in the role of Lust), plus
her reputation as the darling of the
paparazzi, finally led to step three in her
development: more prestigious parts op-
posite celebrated American actors. Soon
she was Sinatra’s leading lady in “Lady
in Cement” and the window dressing for
Jimmy Stewart in “Bandolero!” And in
1968, she and ex—pro footballer Jim
Brown were teamed in a shoot’em-up
еріс, “100 Rifles,” that turned out to be
less memorable for what happened on
screen than off. The filming had hardly
begun when news media throughout the
Continent and the U.S. carried stories
about a private feud between the co-
stars, reportedly over malters sexual. By
the lime Raquel finished the film—and
a cameo role in "The Magic Christian,”
as the whip-carrying overseer of 91 top-
less slave girls—her sex-star status was
firmly established.

Late last summer, while Raquel was
completing her first television special—to
be aired April 26 on CBS—and prepar-
ing to film “Myra Breckinridge,” she met
on five separate occasions with ът лува
interviewer Richard Warren. Lewis. for
this exclusive conversation. The setting
was her newly acquired seven-bedroom,
eight-bathroom Beverly Hills home, once
ned by Jeff Chandler and later by
Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh.

Reports Lewis: “The first thing a visi-
tor notices while walking up the brick
pathway leading to the house is the his.
andhers Rolls-Royce convertibles resting
side by side in an open garage. А very
British secretary opened the heavy,
caved front door and led me into a
living room decorated with ferns, still-
life paintings and plush white carpeting.
Many of the volumes visible m the
room's built-in bookcases reflected the
occupants’ occupational interests. Among
the more prominent titles: show-business
biographies of Frank Sinatra and film
mogul Harry Cohn, ‘An Hlustratea His-
tory of the Horror Film? ‘The Films of
Jean Harlow, ‘The Films of Marilyn
Monroe! and ‘The Studio? Neatly ar-
ranged on an antique coffee table were
several high-fashion magazines containing
photographs of Raquel—many of them
shot by Justin de Villeneuve, Twiggy's
mentor.

“When Raquel descended the circular

staircase [ron an upstairs game room, she
shook hands firmly and flopped her long-
linbed, 118-pound body into a Queen
Anne wing chair whose brown-velvet up-
holstery, I noticed, matched the color of
her eyes. She wore zippered white pants,
leather sandals and n transparent paisley
blouse over a white bra. The emerald-
shaped, ten-cavat diamond on her ring
finger reflected the light filtering through
leaded-glass windows—beyond which one
could occasionally glimpse busloads of
passing tourists or her two school-age chil-
dren (legally adopted in 1968 by Curtis)
playing on the lawn.

“T wanted to accomplish two things at
our first meeting: set а date for our first
taping session and establish a degree of
rapport with my subject. 1 needn't have
worried on either count: Raquel loves to
talk. There me frequent traces of an
English affectation in her voice, and oc-
casionally she lapses into an unintention-
al yet uncannily accurate impersonation
of Katharine Hepburn, of whom she is
an unabashed admirer.

“In our subsequent talks, I found Ra-
quel to be a witty, gutsy lady. I also
found her absolutely fascinated by cer
tain subjects—such as her career and sex,
acting and sex, men and sex, marriage
and sex and just plain old-fashioned
sex. The day we began taping—beside
her Olympic-sized swimming pool—Ra-
quel wore a suede bolero vest that left
exposed the undersides of her celebrated
breasts. Confronted with this appetizing
sight, I thought it seemed eminently sen-
sible to start our interview by discussing
her penchant for exposing strategic—but
not vital—arcas of her epidermis.”

PLAYBOY: Many of the movies’ biggest sex
stars—among them, Ursula Andress, Kim
Novak, Marilyn Monroe, Carroll Baker,
Jane Fonda, Ann-Margret, Susannah York
and Brigitte Bardot—have appeared nude
in PLAYBOY. Why have you refused our
invitations?

WELCH: It’s just been done too often, and
now everyone seems to be hopping on
the band wagon because it’s the thing to
do. A long time ago, I promised mysell
never to be photographed nude. Why
should 1 show all my cards at the begin-
ning of the game? If 1 did that, what
could 1 do for an encore? 1 have a very
good figure and it shows up plenty good
in a bathing suit, so ГЇЇ wear a bikini
any day of the week, But if someone
started telling me, "Well, just take off
nd sort of do the three quarter
“Td tell him to forget it.

As far as I'm concerned, 90 percent of
the girls who've taken off their clothes
should've left them on, any th

figures just aren't good enough. If they
were, they wouldn't have to prove it that
жау. Sexiness doesn't come from expos-
yourself nude; it comes from some-
g you are. Carroll Baker ties to be

if she poses
I be.

tain kind of piquant sexual
Zo Lynley conveys, but it's

not the kind that’s enhanced. by remoy-
ing her clothes. And Kim Novak is way
past the age to be doing that sort of
thing. She's huge and she looks awful.
"There's only one instance in which I
saw nudity in rrAYnoy that I could ap-
preciate. That was Ursula Andres pho-
tographed by John Derek. I felt as if 1
was seeing а lovely woman of flesh. and
blood reveal all the lovely things about
herself—her purity, her freshness, her
vitality and, of course, the classic look of
her body. And I saw it through the eyes
of a man who loved her and was, in fact.
turned on by her, not by somebody who
had perfunctorily snapped a picture. I
simply don't intend to cver walk into a
studio with some strang remove
my clothes and be photographed naked
I would agree to а
nt in front of a motion-picrure
camera. І don't know anybody at this
moment with whom I could comfortably
pose nude and. produce something lovely
and complete.
PLAYBOY: The that you'd
consider pos there were some
kindred soul behind the cime:
WELCH: Yes. The attitude of the photog.
rapher is the important thing to me; and
when I look at a picture, its rather
obvious to me whether that rapport was
there or not. I can't believe, however,
that an actress or a model will bump
into that many photographers who
capture something real about her insides
—her guts or lack of same. For me, this
hypothetical man would have 10 be мау
gentle, yet very much in control. Then
maybe he could catch my vitality, my
tremendous energy, my dominance and
my coolness, as well as my vulnerability.
my romanticism and all the other soft,
conquerable ties that a lot af people
have never seen in me.
PLAYBOY: Would this hypothetical. pho-

WELCH: | think that would be essential
whether 1 was posing nude or
it, and that’s precisely what I try 10
project whenever I'm being photographed
Т think of someone looking zt me and
admiring what he secs. In fact, 1 practice
that in front of à mi by making faces
at myself, by making love to my own
image. While I'm doing this, 1 notice
attractive things about myself and practice
them—like how to walk gracefully, so that
my legs will show to best advantage
oneself photogenic is really a
but it's a very boring one. I don't
want to talk anymore about posing for
praynoy, though. If 1 wanted to do it,
I'd do it; then everyone would see what-
ever there is to be seen.
PLAYBOY: Since you haven't yet given the

n а snow-

у, would you de-
"

public that oppor
scribe low you look in the nud
месн. How do you think ГА look in the
nude?

PLAYBOY: We can only speculate.

WELCH: I'm splendid in the nude, but
you'll have to use your own imagination

Mier all, sexuality isn't. something that
can bc talked about. It's not on the
surface of the body and, contrary to
current fashion, it has nothing to do
with the size of one's breasts; il exists in
the mind and spirit. There's ап unfor-
m ion in this country with
the mammary glands—these cye-stopping
році ап isolated symbol of
sex. They're the softest, most vulnerable
rt of a woman and. because they stick
out the farthest, they're the easiest part
to grab. And the American male is too
quick to do just that. He makes them.
synonymous with sex, which they're not.
Don't get me wrong, though. Nice knock.
ers are great, but they're only one com-
ponent ol total sexuality. They're not the

end-all. As а maner ol fact when all
the machinery swings into high gear,
they kind of get lost in the shufllc. So no

matter how fantastic a girl's breasts are,
if she spreads sloppily at the bottom and
she's got a lousy face and. bad hair and
she dresses terribly and walks badly, she's
still hopeless, isn’t she? 1f that's all she
got, they just hang there like two worth-
less tits and don't me: .CThs
why 1 think the fascination with them
is absurd. But comedians still make jokes
boobs; they say things like, “I

about
bumped into Raquel Welch E E
as if the ultin
from fondling these two protrusions.
PLAYBOY: There is a story circu
Hollywood—one that is substan
several of your past acquaintance
Jolla and San Diego—that your breasts
have been enlarged by surgery. True?
WELCH: Thats all bunch of bunk. I
take it as a compliment, though, that
some people think I'm too perfect to
have occurred naturally. But w can 1
say? И that’s their opinion, they're wel-
come to it.

PLAYBOY: What are the other components
of the total sexuality you mentioned a
moment ago?

WELCH: Theres beauty in every part of
the body: delicate fingers, slender arms,
gracefully curving shoulders, a well-formed
rib cage. a Mat, firm tummy, a supple
back, with the smooth valley that runs
down the middle of it, the shape of the
buttocks and die way the soft-
ness of the pubic ar

Combine these things with the tilt and
roundness of the eyes, the fullness of the
lips and the way the hair is worn, and
it all makes а beautiful total picture.
How can anyone deny that boobs are
just a small part of iz

Are her breasts all we remember about
Marilyn

Monroe? Of course not. We
her white skin and couol
hair; her sleepy eyes and her soft, moist,
constantly moving lips. She was strong
and formidable, yet sleek and catlike.
rdoUs another example. She’
a kinky child with those long lean legs
and that little-girl body: but just men-
tion Brigitte Bardot to most men and.
the first thing that pops into their heads
is boobs. Marilyn Monroe and boobs.
Raquel Welch and boobs. I's just ridicu-
lous. But 1 think we may be beginning
to grow up a lite, Who knows —ome-
day men may come to appreciate, say,
the teeth and the lips and the back of the
neck as erogenous zones, 100; because
that's what they are, at least to me.
PLAYBOY: In a recent issue of Life, Jim
Brown described the way he psyched vou
out in one of your love scenes for 100
Rifles: “The camera was on her face, and
so I had my head on the other side of
her head. |. 1 stuck my tongue in her
ear. She jumped. . .. 1 came off that bed
laughing because . . . I had discovered
that she weak in the Is that
another one of your erogenous zones?
WELCH: That whole story is a fabrication.
It wasn't just my car; he licked the
whole side of my face. And he didn't
psyche me out. In fact, all I could think
at that moment was, “Holy Christ, wh:
the fuck does he think he's doi
Afterward, 1 realized that he'd done it
because his face was offcamera in th;
shot and, knowing the way that mar

mind works, the way he has to constantly
feed his ego, I suppose it really irked
1

з. 1 personally couldn't have cared less
ho was on top and who was on the
bottom, but he was extremely rude aud.
tried very hard to mess me up during
that scene. I was angry because we wast-
ed two days on that scene and people
were spending a lot of time and effort
and moncy to finish it.

In a situation like that, no real actor
would play some little onc-upmanship
me just to let the crew know he was
really the biggest stud that ever lived. If
Jim Brown was the big stud he likes to
think he is, then why couldn't he really
ng
opposite him, instead of trying to pull
some kind of powcr play? Obviously, he
thought the point of the entire film was
whether or nor he w спо!
tromp on me. He was extremely
ing to a number of people, and particu-
larly to several women on the set, myself
cluded. As ап ex-foothall player, he's
been trained to kill, kill. kill, break d
line, crush heads—and that's just how he
treats women. Unfortunately, some of us
n't a bit titillated by that approach.
His whole attitude reminded me of the
pubescent boys in grade schol, who
cd to run around pulling up the girls

communicate with the woman play

dresses. T can just imagine how he would
have acted if Yd agreed 10 appear the
way the scriptwriters wanted me to. There
was one scene in the oripi
h, as a member of the Ѕрапі
1 was supposed to run around a battle-
field stark-naked, shooting people with a
pump-action shotgun. That would have
been a great scene, I suppose, but I
couldn't do it. It wasn't the nudity that
bugged me: it was the stupidity. A script-
iter will usually try to get away with as
in а film as he can, but my big
to most of the bizarre scenes

w

no real function in the script, The
obviously thrown in for exploi
uc alone.

PLAYBOY: Given the increasingly expli
sexual activity in films today, couldn't
your reluctance to participate in such
scenes be considered a bit prudish?
WELCH: I'd rather begin by examining
this sexual revolution we've all heard so
much about. When it first started, it was
obviously something spontancous and
fresh, but, like the original hippie move-
ment, the media began to exploit it and
turned it fad. And since most
people are engaged in a frantic effort to
be just like everybody else, they're
trying to get into the act, So the media
keep pushing it, because
seem trendy, and the public keeps bu
ing it, because they've been told it's die
thing to do. am individual

мо а

"Then
people will think he or she doesn't like
fucking: God forbid.

So sex is shoved down our throats and,
more and more, ns to look like a
commodity, a product—like Campbell's
soup or underarm deodorants. It's be-
come one of the status goodies that
people use to convince themselves that
theyre part of the generation.
But that presents problems, The implica-
tion is that a girl should screw a dit-
ferent guy every hour on the hour, 365
ys a year. Well, even though ihat
e for a while, it’s obvi
1 it could ger ro be more than slightly
fact, it might complere-
реке. The other
ngerous implication is that people be-
to apply to themselves what they sce
in the media. “Jesus,” a guy says to
himself. "There's Sean Connery in the
tub with eight naked broads. Why can't
I do thai? Whats the matter with mc?"
Obviously, it doesn't take the American
male very long to realize that he can't
possibly emulate this masculine paragon
—and his lady is afraid as hell that she

an't fulfill her fantasy role otic

zon. How can anyone live with those
pressures? 1 think it’s about time we all

пом”

us

77

PLAYBOY

78

relaxed and let sex return to its beautiful,
natural place in our lives.

PLAYBOY: Do you object to watching es
plicit sex scenes in movies as much as
you object to appearing in them?

WELCH: It depends on the scene. But most
оГ those I've seen have been tawdry and
distasteful. And you don't find it only in
movies. I saw something in a recent issue
of а popular national magazine that T
thought was obscene. There were lots of
nude people lying around on the floor,
covered with a ne that looked like
blood and they were doing grotesque
things to one another-—very sadistic and
perverse Marat/Sade-type behavior. I
went “Yuk” and didn't bother to read
the article. Also, one scene in The Killing
of Sister George, in which Coral Browne
wnzips Sustmah York's dress, gave me
the same uk" reaction, At first, I
t they were just going to kiss. I'd
1 that happen in The Fox and wasn't
offended by it. It was done beautifully.
But the scene in Sister George was like
a slap in the face. 1 couldn't believe T
was really going to sit there and watch
this lady do what she did to the other
lady. ‘There was a murmur throughout
the audience. 1 just looked down and
a ion, “Is it over уе?”
at was happening,
but I couldn't believe it. It was obviously
stuck in just to be titillating and to boost
the box office, Lt certainly wasn't enter-
ining. 1 embarrassed not only by
my own reaction but by the audience's
to sec two

nd I don't think the audience did, either.
PLAYBOY: Hive you ever been confronted
n advances in your private lile?
Well, Ive been mecting morc
strange women lately than ever before,
and occasionally I really can't tell if
some o[ these ladies with the low voices
e men or women. They give me the
aceps. We may be talking and then, all
of a sudden, something strikes an ofl-key
note and L think: "Wait a minute. I'd
better make tracks.” But when I hear
that someone's a dyke or that she gocs
both ways, it doesn’t seem so important
to me. Thats her life. Why should I
bother with her problems or her private
conduci? That has nothing to do with
me. If it’s something they want to do,
fine; but I'm not interested in doing it
or watching it myself, any more than I'm
interested in seeing any number of other
things go on.

PLAYBOY: Like what?

WELCH: Would you w: to watch some-
body killed in front of you or see some-
body run over? Some people cannot
draw themselves away from the sight of
gore. They're fascinated by it. The
bloody violence in The Wild Bunch, for
example, disturbed me immensely. The
director may have been trying to make a

moral statement about how awful vio-
Jence is, but 1 was at the breaking point
by the end of the massacre scene. They
did it very stylishly, in slow motion, with
big blood packs bursting. It was incred
ibly brutal. 1 simply couldn't bear to see
апу more blood, no matter what he was
trying to prove. It was the bottom line
for me; 1 couldn't have stood to see one
more person blown apart and flying
through the air, to sec one more child
stamped by a horse. to see all of the
people who, during the course of the pic
ture, Td grown to sympathize with and
like for their own idiosyncrasies, get
blown to bits. It was more than I could
ike and I broke down. Wanton violence
is an obscenity that I object to even more
than exploitive s
PLAYBOY: If this wend toward ever more
explicit in films continues, can. you
think of any kind of erotic scene that
might excite you as a moviegoer?

WELCH: ] thought Anne Heywood and
Keir Dullea's love scene in The Fox was
quite erotic. But if we're really going to
get down to it, I figure that since Pm
continually asked to show my stuff on
the screen, Pd like to see some
show his. Maybe that's ап exaggerat
I guess Td really just as soon not go any
further than seeing an actors rump. But
if an actress has to run around doing
crotch shots with her boobs bouncing,
why shouldn't we make the men turn
around? Thai would bc the logical cun-
clusion. Along these lines, Гус heard
that one of the very popular glossy wom-
en's magazines is considering а monthly
e pinup personality
v wouldn't want it, because I
don't care that much about looking at it,
but I suppose it might find an audience.
PLAYBOY: Do you think these pinups might.
ppeal more to Шс male homosexual
reader than to the female reader?
WELCH: Well, right at this moment, I
suppose so. But women are rapidly
changing their ideas and becomi auch
kink
tures of Rudolf Nureyev posing in the
nude for a women's magazine not long
ago, because he has a really fabulous
body. When I sce him, 1 think of the
wonderful artistry he's capable of pro-
ducing as а dancer. I'm struck by the
strength of his body, by its movement.
Ws so much more to me than just а
famtastic male body. Women appreciate
good tone in a man’s body as much as a
man appreciates it in а woman. But I
don't care for those muscleheads with
the tremendously thick necks who can't
even walk properly because their thighs
are disproportionately developed. Their
muscles are so pumped up they can
hardly move. Having been a dancer for
so many years I much prefer to see a
man who's stretched his muscles rather
than one who's obviously spent all his

ictor

on:

. For instance, I adored the pic-

ime pumping them up. When it comes
ıt down to it, though, ГИ settle for
Steve McQueen dressed. I think he's an
extremely attractive, sexy m; не
doesn't need to make blue movies in
order to be a great big movie star
PLAYBOY: Have you ever seen any blue
movies?

WELCH: The House on Bare Mountain is
the only film like that I've seen. It shows
a number of very buxom girls all taking
showers and ruba«ub«lubbing. Then
they all come down the stairs in
long line—ka-bong, ka-bong, ka-bong—
and run out and play volleyball. lc.
really so funny that I don't see how it
could be erotic, Can you laugh and have
an orgasm at the same tim
PLAYBOY: The eroticism in Z Am Curious
— Yellow was played for laughs. What
did you think of it?

WELCH: [ haven't seen Z Am Curious —
Yellow, although it’s been described. to
me in graphic detail. But there's always
some little underground movie where
somcone's copuliting or masturbating or
practicing various positions of sodomy.
Since only a minority of people actually
involve themselves in this kind of beha
ior. producers can put it on the screen
nd still reach those lo 1 105
unique. But I'm tired of everyone airing
their dirty laundry in front of me, and
that’s why L haven't gone to see many of
these films. ‘They make me feel uncom-
fortable, they threaten me in some w
PLAYBOY: Why?

WELCH: Because I'm sit
actress and thinking:

one

wh

ing there as an
“IE someone asked

me. would | do that?" I just wonder
what effect it’s going to have on me and

my work. Will I have to do a nude scene
in every picture with some man who
means nothing to me? Someday, I'm
going to have to make that kind of
decision and maybe lose a great part.
PLAYBOY: Will you eventually capitulate?
WELCH: | couldn't begin to answer such a
question, because 1 just don't know. But
the idea of getting imo bed with a m
1 don't know is tervifying to m
PLAYBOY: You're not afraid tha
you'd lose all your inhibitions?

WELCH: No, I just don't do those things
for money, and I prefer to get my kicks
olfcamcra.

PLAYBOY: How do you get your kicks?
WELCH: I don't think 1 have any now
tricks. I'm not a contortionist. I've never
swung from a trapeze or anything like
that. In fact, 1 definitely have a mid-
Victorian streak that runs through mc.
Queen Victoria had quite а sexy little
mind, but she thought that a woman
should handle her private life discreetly.
She thought a woman should embody
the old axiom: a whore in the bedroom
and the absolute epitome of a lady at all
other times. It’s this duality that makes
any woman an attractive mystery. So T

t perhaps

Make everyone feel hes first on your list.

е

Canadian Whisky—A blend of selected whiskies. 6 years old. 86.8 proof. Seagram Distillers Со, N. Y. C. Gift-wrapped at no extra charge.

PLAYBOY

80

don't intend to share my private rela-
tions with the entire world. This facet of
my life is definitely personal and I will
not exchange notes about it.
Besides, Y could never understand why
people think its necessary to impress
others with tales of their sexual exploits.
А guy goes out and gets himself three
girls, then comes k from a weekend
and says: "I had such a scene down at
the beach house. First we had a little pot
and then everyone took off their clothes.
And there was this onc chick; wow, was
she cver great, And then there was an
other one and then another. 1 don't
know what's the matter with chicks late-
ly, but they just love me to death." Well,
Warren Beatty, to паше one grown-up
man, does not discuss his sexual exploits,
nor does anyone else who's confident of
his sexuality. They don't r around de-
claring their potency like it was a banner
worn on their sleeves or like they had a
new trophy to show. I would never dream
of telling any of my friends what my
husband and I do in the bedroom. That's
nobody's business but ours,
joyment of it isn't increased by telling it
to Mabel while we're chatting over the
back-yard fence.
PLAYBOY: Considering your mid-Victoi
bent, docs prudishness inhibit you
life? How do you feet about mak
with the lights on, for example?
WELCH: You're prying: but as
concerned, you can sec better with the
lights on. There are some people, of
‚ who can fantasize better with the
lights off, and others like darkness be-
ase it protects them from facing what's
there—as if it weren't really happening.
But thats all right, too. Some people
jump off a diving board with their eyes
closed, but they still hit the water. There
are degrees of light—different intensities
for different moods—just as there are
different strokes for «егеп folks. If a
girl's got a great face and a terrible
body, she should turn out the lights
entirely and just go to bed. If she's got a
great body. on the other hand, and she
thinks he's pleased with it, then there's
no reason for her to do а cover-up num-
ber. In fact, she's probably the sort of
woman that many men enjoy displaying
iu public while they think t0 themselves:
Look. everybody, this is a reflection of
what kind of m Тат. All you have to
do is look at her" But that's where it
ends. He doesn't really want everyone's
hands all over her. At least my husband
surely doesn’t. And I personally don't
want anyone's hands on me, either, One
is enough.
Аз long as we're on the subject,

ul my en-

sex

PLAYBO'
have you ever attended an orgy?

WELCH: 1 don't know, what is an orgy? Is
an orgy morc than onc, more than two
people? Or what I've never been in-
volved in any group efforts, I guess the

opportunity just never arose. IIl have to
cross that bridge when I get to it
PLAYBOY: Do the prospects seem appeal-
ing to you?

WELCH: Depends on who the participants
were. If an invitation were delivered, I'd
have to consider it: but orgies really have
no great appeal to me, even if the partic-
ipants were Steve McQueen, Warren
Beatty and Paul Newman, all together in
the altogether. m just not. particularly
enchanted by the idea of simultaneous
sexual relationships, although 1 suppose
that some people could function very
well in an orgy situation,

PLAYBOY: Helen Gurley Brown, editor of
Cosmopolitan, recently conducted ап
editorial survey among her female stalf
members to determine how they liked
their breasts fondled, 15 a man's tech-
nique in this area important to you?
WELCH; Well, tactile stimulation of the
breasts is as important as anything else,
and 1 suppose many people fall short of
their purely technical responsibilities m
Jove There are a lot of bad lov
ers around. But apparently, most women
don't know how to tell their men that
they're performing badly. So maybe Hel-
cn Gurley Brown thinks that all a girl
has to do is leave the magazine open to
the right page for her husband, and that
he'll read it and realize his mistakes. 1
don’t know why people demand pat solu
tions to sexual problems. ‘There aren't
any pat answers for anything clsc in life.
But everyone has such overly romantic
ideas about scx—that it’s always sup-
posed to be perfect, that it cant ever
fail. Ultimately, they grow intolerant of
anything that falls short of their erotic
ions. It's like being told а thou-
sand times how great a particular movie
is, and then, when you finally get to see
it, you're disappointed be isn’t
good as you were told. But you still sit
there, wondering if it’s the film or your
nt.
PLAYBOY: Do you have se
like everyone dse?

WELCH: Í have had, yes. 1 wasn't very
happy with my first husband. 1 was wild-
ly auracied to him physically; he had
lots of curly hair, his eyes tilted just
right, his teeth were white and he was
s beautifully tanned. But in spite
of having a fair amount of elegance and
charm, he was hardly the Prince Charm
ing type. In fact, he was the kind of guy
who ueats women terribly. He was al-
ys late, never very nice and he
couldn't care less about anything 1 had
to say. But he was gorgeous and I was
terribly unhappy every minute we were
apart. 1 had married. him solely on the
basis of my emotions—on impulse. Nei-
ther of us had reached our full develop-
ment as people, and I learned that it's
impossible ro match two. people pu
on th 1 physical attraction and
expect the relationship to last The

ке

al failures,

wa

physical aspects, therefore, soon became
secondary to our emotional difficulties
and sex didn't work out too well for u:
it was very clumsy and awkward in every
respect. In fact, it was just bo
PLAYBOY: How often do a man
whom you'd consider a suitable sex part-
ner?

WECH: Well,
personal relationships. I c
on by just any guy 1 happ
into on the street
because [ can't be

when it comes to ишу
"t get t

ned

turn

truth for all women
women have be
lieving that a full-scale relationship is
required to make the sexual experience
acceptable or enjoyable. Now they real-
ize that they cam have sex without rhe
relationship. because the widespread. use
of female contraceptives has given them
ihe freedom. A woman no longer has to
think of her bed pariner as someone
she'll have to spend her life with or as
the guy who may be the father of her
child. But personally, I don't think I
could get any kind of real sexual satistac-
tion from a relationship if it was such
a throwaway thing. I don't believe that
one brief moment—or even lots of brief
moments —can make up for the lack of a
decper relationship with another person
PLAYBOY: Doris Lessing, an acknowledged
heroine of the feminist movement. who
writes extensively about the emancipated
woman, recently noted: “The only rea-
son to get married is having children.
Otherwise, men aud women should just
live together.” Do you agree?

WELCH:
people,
be so dogmatic about
to be an option in our society. Some
relationships may last only a very short
ic others—those in which the

complemen cach other and
Brow together—may last a lifetime. In
either case, why must such a relationship

be officially documented with a piece of
paper? 105 this compulsory piece of pa-
per that destroys people. 1 like it for

myself, but it can take all the magic out of
а personal relationship lor many people.
Personally, 1 wouldn't want to grab ап
body by the neck and say. "You have
to stay with me or else ЇЇ sue you for
every cent you have” 1E 1 thought I
needed that kind of guarantee, then the
whole thing would be shot right from
the start. The marriage contract was nec
essary in the past to protect women who
were incapable of making their own way
in the world. But today, the situation
has changed for most women, though I
can still sympathize with women who
have children by a man who later walks
out on them.

PLAYBOY: In a recent Gallup Poll, two
out of three college students interviewed
condoned premarital sex. Do you?
WELCH: | have no objections, but | do

AN
Ui |
AM, М
PLAYMATE Ё

CALENDAR DAMNAR

NW

_ if 2
Connie Kreski Maiken Haugedal

КУ

SCA.

Lorrie Menconi

Paige Young ` DeDe Lind

PLAYBOY

82

think the doctrine of sexual permisive-
ness is being forced. upon many young
girls today. Too often, because a girl
Wants to be with it, she thinks it's neces-
sary to loe her virginity. Thars just as
stupid as keeping it in order to remain
инеп.
PLAYBOY. W

re you а virgin when you

were married the first ti

ves, At that point, my decency
syndrome was а thread that ran through
my e eter. 1 was just a 16-year
oll dinga-ing determined not to de
bauch myself. I never even considered

aving an affair, because at that time, il
you slept with someone, you
him. And that was that.

PLAYBOY: How do you feel about livi
with someone belore getting married
WELCH: For one thing, it gives you some
idea of what you're getting into. In liv-
ig together, you have an opportunity to
learn much more about your pariner
When your sexual appetites arc satisfied
right from the beginning. you begin to
more important things about a
at he's really like as а person.
t и» like to be around him.
1 genius
10 make a mariage work. Cohabitation
and premarital sex give you some indica

married

person—w

on of wherher or not the relationship

cm succeed as a marriage. 1С not vou

los anything and, as а well
adjusted modern lady. you can just hop
i twoplustwo with the wp
down and drive away into ihe sunset.
People must learn to admit and allow

» d

for the possibility of hun
personal relationships.

PLAYBOY: Do you think marriage as a
legal contract may be supplanted by co-
habitation in our society?
WELCH: 1 don't know, but many young
people are beginning to recognize
hypocrisy of their parents! mar
The kids sce their parents strugalin
bad relationship and
themselves: "Why should 1 waste tw

the

sustain

or twenty-five years of my life, my energies
and my talent on a relationship that, day

and day out, breeds nothing but hate
and discontent? I won't do it" As I said

earlier, the birth.
10 live togethe
consequence of par
baby could make a bad scene even
worse; but with effective birth control, а
couple is les likely to be
choosing between keer
having an abortion. Nowadays, onc can
have an allair without the fear of preg:
nancy, bur that in itself presents other
problems—like promiscuity

However pei c and enlightened
» may profess to be, I think he
mtually loses respect for a promis
uous woman; and she’s bound to lose
respect for herself. It's just not a very
realistic pattern of life. She can do what

control pill allows them
without the in
uthood. Having а

table

forced

imo
ng the baby or

ever she pleases as a young woman, but
what happens when she gets to be 36
and she's no longer interested in carving
notches on her gun? When you get down
10 the nitty-gritty—inside somebody's
guis—gun notching can't go on forever.
When she examines herself seriously, she
sees that her promiscuity has been noth
ing but an attempt to escape from the
frustration of not knowing who she is or
why she’s alive. Because she's failed 10
h a set of values for herself, she
selEesteem and compensates for her
imlesness with a se
ries of indiscriminate sexual escapades. 1
think its fine for a girl to have a num.
ber of sexual experiences, but that’s d
ferent from promiscuity, which 1 cor
to be indiscriminate fucking with ev
body in sight. Promiscuity isn't a via
life style: its an attempt to deal with i
seanity by going through the motions
that are usually associated with love
alfection.
PLAYBOY: Are you equally opposed io extra-
marital sex?
WELCH: 1 don't think that it's necessarily
bad behavior for a man to break awa
once in a while. But while 1 can certain-
Ty understand it in his nature, the wom
ап gut reaction is still to hate it with a
But I would uy to be tolerant
and understanding, An emancipated wom-
an accepts the fac that her husband
il around. now and then,
because she knows that she is still the
only woman in his life who's tuned in to
what he feels and thinks, and is capable
of catering to those things. 1 would only
К that if extracurricular activities were
oing on with the man in my Шс. I'd
just as soon he not let me know about
them. H it was flaunted in my face, I
couldn't take it. Nor could 1 reciprocate
just to show him.
PLAYBOY: Aren't you ever tempted to pur-
suc extramarital affairs when youre sepa
rated from your husband by professional
commitment:
WELCH: On 100 Rifles, it was obvious t
members of the crew were pairing oll. In
fact, it sc

nd

ned as if they'd just discov
ered fucking when they got to Spa
But when Em working 16 hours a day on
location, I don't lie awake pining for
romance—1 just work hard. And. [rank
ly, Patrick and 1 haven't been apart from
other for very Jong periods of time.
He alw ys comes. ad visits. ] think El
beth Taylor has stipulated that she won't
ake a picture unless Richard B
going to be nearby

her. You're really asking for it the oth
way. H you're separated from a dishy guy
or a dishy lady for three months or

more, he might really fall for somebody
else. And if that happens, irs the ball
game. He may come home when the pic-
ture’s over and say, ^I want a divorce."
PLAYBOY. Despite your fidelity, why

rumors circulate indicat
ing otherwise?

WELCH: It’s an expression of jealousy di
rected at people who look like they have
more than their share of the goodies in
life: b fame or money. People can't
bear the fact that Liz Taylor his wo
much, can they? They really sock it 10
her, as if to say: “How dare she be that
wealthy and that beautiful and, on top
of that, have love, children and a happy
marriage?” Obviously, I'm also going 10
be suspect. so they say that. Pm promis
cuous and that Pm doing vari
bers. No one believes that an
«ban attractive

n Hollywood

woman ca

1 gee
together on location or on a sound stage

for the time it takes to make a movie,
without having all hell break loose sex
ually. Considering the number of people
who are playing around, the skeptics
can’t fathom that someone ches Dead
may he in a different place than theirs.
Irs taken for granted by the public uat

because you do a love scene with some
one, you're balling him оймасеп. To
them, all actresses get screwed left, right

and center, front and раска the way
to the top and then all the way back to
the bottom, ‘That may be the way a lot of
actresses play it, and T don't really give a
damn, but E hate to get junked in with
all the rest. These girls get the mistaken

idea that the only way to succeed in this
town is to ball the right people; w me
that seems like а pretty bleak way (o
live. Is it really worth it to bang a bunch

of people you're not int
et your face on the sere
night chart a path to d
the w

with

sted in, just 10
n? An actress
° top, marking
with people she ought to sleep
but if she's that cold and calculat
ing about sex, she's not really having
sex; she’s just doing business, I sce it
happening all around me—people prosti
tuting their minds and their bodies just
to get ahead. But it really his nothing 10
do with me. I couldn't ever bring myself
to ball someone for a job. BO would be
too demeaning,
PLAYBOY: But many p
tom is as much a pa
the footprints at G
Theater.

ople think this cus-
t of Hollywood as
auman’s Chinese

WELCH: Perhaps. But I don’t think Holly
wood is all that dirty. It has its share of
lechers but no more than any other

place of extreme wealth and glamor. You
inb the same thing going on at апу
number of resort arcas, probably in most
major industries and undoubtedly in
politics There are simply a lot ol
important men iw high places knocking
off a Jot of ladies, and you cant blame
them. Is not their fault that women a
throwing themselves at their feet. every
minute. The Hollywood lecher is n
dlillerent from any other. 1 should know.
Ive had three separate experiences with
some of the biggest people in the indus-
uy. Before 1 came w this town,

100.

Meet the man who made
bourbon worth wrapping up
in a Holiday decanter

Almost а hundred years ago,
Mr. I. W. Harper took his honest bourbon—
but with manners, and
^| wrapped it in a handsome
Hehsay decanter. He gave
‚аза gift to а few
special friends, and ever
since then his decanters
have been a Christmas
tradition. This year
I.W. Harper mellow Gold
Medal and Bottled in
Bond bourbons
both come in their
\ own classic
d crystal-cut decan-
ters and Holiday
cartons.

Why not start a tradition of
yourown by putting Mr. Harper's
bourbon on your gift list?

And don't forget yourself.

86 FROOF AND 100 PROOF BCTTLED IN BONO = BOTH KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY = © 1. W. HARPER DISTILLING CO., LOUISVILLE, KY,

PLAYBOY

“You're going to Holly
Take this copy of The Copet-
You'll see what you're letting
yourself in for." So when 1 arrived here
in 1964. I was traumatized by my fears:
How would I act? Would I tuin into the
slut of all time? Would I become nen-
? Would 1 end up committing sui-
L took ай these hypothetical
situations and built a solid philosopl

с Í was tested, T stuck by
my guns. À well-known producer saw me
on The Hollywood Palace when 1 was
just getting started and said: “Kid, you've
got а семай quality, Why don't you
come to my office on Monday?" 1 was
really excited by the prospect, so 1 fixed
myself up, wondering all the time what
part it might be. 1 went through my pho-
tos and picked ont the ones that Í thought
might apply and 1 walked into his office
with a lile briefcase under my arm. He
greeted me, shut the door and whispered:
“I think we should go to my house. Do
you want to take your car or miw
said, "I just have a Volkswagen.” He s
“Well, well take my car
Meanwhile, I thought he was whisper
g because he had some secret television
project he didn't want anybody else 10
know about. So, аз we walked out the
door, I said, "You know, ever since you
talked t0 me three days ago, Гуе been
ing about what this big. mysterious
ng could be. Why are you keeping it
such a secret?” He said, "Oh, come
now. From the way you look, 1 know
you've been propositioned before” T
really hadn't expected chat. I just hadn't
been around long enough to know. 1
said, "No, I haven't, 1 thought you had a
part for me.” He said, "Well, we can
write you a little part. I'm going to be
producing a television show this season,
and I also have a nightclub act," 1 said,
"Well, thank you very much, but I'm nor
interested." At that point, the tens stunt.
ed rolling down my checks.

Don't cry," he pleaded. "For God's
sake, don't ay. And don't tell anybody.
Do you need some money? Here, take
some.” “You think I'd tell anybody that
I was stupid enough to come up to your
office on а deal like this,” 1 told him,
“thinking all the time that it was [or a

on

I used to watch you on telev
used to laugh at you. 1 just can't believe
this is really happening." As he opened
my car door, he said, “I didn't know.
You're just a young kid. I didn’t mean
it The way you were dresed on that
show, with your legs showing and every:
thing, and the kind of [ace you have—
you looked so sensuous. Just don’t tell
anybody. I'm awful sorr

Several months later, Í did an expen-
sive Cinemascope studio screen test, For
rt of the test, I wore a bikini and, for
another part, only а towel. I guess this

studio executive found me attractive, be-
we after he saw the test, he called and
d me to have dinner and screen а
m with him and a producer. I went
there thinking it might be some kind of
n opportunity: but in the middle of the
. the producer got а mysterious
phone сай from his wife—something
drastic had happened—and he left. So
alone with the studio execu-
: a obvious setup. Since Pat-
rick had dropped me off, 1 didn’t have
car and I wanted to call him and tell
him to come take me home. But no, this

inv

guy wouldn't let me make the call, He
insisted on driving me home һе
after he "checked a couple of things in

his office.” So we went into his office, he
looked at me and said, "You are the most
fantastically exciting creature Tve ever
seen.” He also said he'd seen my test and
thought I was a good actress.

"Then he started. He took me into
room adjoining his office that contained
а sofa and а television set and suddenly
remembered a program he had to watch.

So he laid down, started patting the sofa
and said, “Lers watch television.” 1 said,
"E can see fine [rom here.” Naturally, Т

him,

spent the next three hours ñghtin
ing every ounce of agility and ph
dexterity I had to ward him oll. 1 also had
to exercise some pretty коой mental gym-
astics to protect myself without getung
E sult him,
1 figured the best thing to do was to
laugh it off. "You don't trust me," he
said. "Thats not true at all” 1 said,
running around the table. "I just thin
youre trying to take advantage of the
situation, and 1 want you to know how 1

feel, so there won't be any unnecessary
ips and disappointments
Then I went into a real filibuster.

knowing that if I stopped talking, I'd
have to physically fight him off. 1 really
wanted to take off my shoe and hit him
or start screaming, but one doesn't do
that to a studio executive. 1 kept trying
tO stress the fact that we'd have to have
either a business relationship or none at
I. I told him thar I wanted a part in
his film not because I was a good lay but
because I could do the job. Finally 1 told
him, "Fm very flattered by your interest
in me, because I think you're an attrac
ive person, But even though you've got
a lot of power and prestige, 1
compromise: myself.
King it on your ter
Eventually,
apologized just like a child. But when 1
closed. the door, so help me God, I burst
into tears, thinking that Га just ruined
. I knew that if Pd hurt

see, his epo problems were comp! icated
by the fact that he was a tiny in
хо trying hard
п the business. But

to prove himself

three weeks later, 1 was working for him
in another film; 1 suppose even though
I'd refused to make it with him, he must
have thought I was worth something
PLAYBOY: You mentioned third. encoun.
ter. Did you manage to escape that one,
too?
WELCH: You're damn right. 1 was doing a
one-day job at a studio and this producer
saw me outside his office. He came to the
set and talked to me for hours about
rebuilding my im sed on what
he called my "inner glow." Since, at the
time, 1 was just somebody who wanted to
be a film star, that sounded all right to
me, so 1 accepted his offer to мап by
doing some sunset shots in silhouette аз
a standin for this big star in a picture
he was making. He toll me, "Wee
going to shoot this up at Big Sur and,
while we're up there, we'll have a pho-
tographer take some pictures of you
inst that beautiful countryside, so 1
can find your real soul.” And all that
time, he kept assuring me that he wasn't
interested in my body
Of course, when we got there, the
entire crew that had flown up there with
ned to vanish. But the room I had
was a single, with no connecting door

us xci

and I trusted. him enough to accept bis
invitation to dinner. Unfortunately, he
got sidetracked while we were driving to

the restaurant and his next line was,
“Гус got this marvelous
you've just gor то see in” *
last straw,” D said to myself. “I'm the
stupidest girl alive." But what could
do? Jump out of the car, into the ocean?
We finally came to the cabin, which was
out on a cliff, and it really was lovely. 1
enjoyed the sound of the surf and the
ht of the mist rolling in; but when I
finally realized that it was three o'clock
in the morning, I told him that I w
awfully hungry and that we should be
getting back. But he insisted th
have dinner there, so 1 opened some
and cooked, knowing that it could have
been a very bad scene if he decided to
get rough with me.

I started reminding him about his
wife, bur, like everybody else in Holly
wood, 1 they had an un-

nding. Since we had to get up
early for the shooting the next day, 1
told him that D absolutely had to
back, and that's when he suggested that 1
sleep there. Predictably, there was only
one bed in the place, so when he retired
to the bedroom, 1 started climbing the
ladder ıo the hayloft. “\уһагте you
doing up there?" he asked. "I'm going to
sleep up here. Good night.” "That's ridic
ulous,” he said. "You don't trust me.”
"Thats right, I don't. Im not going to
pay you for a contract in bed. Either T
going to do this job tomorrow morning
or I'm going back to Los Angeles.” Well,
he said every ugly word in the book, and
I really expected him to get rough, but
he finally took me back to the motel. He

PLAYBOY

86

kept calling me. even after I got back to
Los Angeles, but I swore then that I'd
never again walk into that man's office
alone. He's just too hung up. He's a
de, vulgar, despicable man—the all-
ime letch, Each of these men I've de-
scribed was like a high school kid begging
for a piece of ass. It amazes me that men
of their stature could get down and heg
like that. They suddenly became so puny
that it almost made me sick to my stom-
ach. And they seemed surprised by the
fact that I had the common sense not to
capitulate to them. I suppose they usu-
ally get what they want, but I stood up
to these guys and they still wanted to
hire me.

AYBOY: Why? Since you've had little or
no opportunity to display your acting
ability, isn't your success so far attribut-
able almost entirely to publicity ballyhoo
about your face and figure?

месн: Well, I've had enough attention
century, but I'm not

to last me for
responsible for most of that publi
Reporters say that 1 own 23 cantilevered
is, cach in a different color, and
that at the click of a llashbulb, I do any
of 39 different stock poses. 1 hate the girl
they're writing about. She's rinky«link.
shallow and horrible, and if I didn't
have a sense of humor about it, I'd go
sane. The skeptics have always said
that I was Mrs. Shrewd and that my
husband and I just walked in with a lot
of know-how and enough good old-fash-
ioned dollars to buy off the entire world.
That's not true. Maybe we knew а few
things about this business, but we didn't
know all the right people and we cer-
inly didn't have a lot of money behind
us. It might have been partly timing—
bcing in the right place at the right
moment—but it was also because I'm
slightly out of the ordinary, even in
Hollywood. Still, I'm mystified to this
day how and why it happened.
our years ago, I was having a very
difficult time in Hollywood, I was just a
nonentity—a dot in a sca of dots. Before
that, I had tried to make it in modeling,
but they thought I was just too much in
every way. Patrick and I were trying to
generate interest in me, but what hap-
pened to me eventually was completely
beyond our elforts—or even our day-
dreams. After things started rolling, I
did five pictures in one year, most of
them on location in Europe; and, in
addition to working six days a week, I
spent every single Sunday for 18 months
on publicity photo layouts. Everybody
vanted to see me and everybody had to
have exclusive pictures. I appeared in
tons and tons of magazines, with names 1
can't remember, and 1 was on the cover
of every one of them, It scemed very
important for me at that moment, but it
became incredibly tedious, terribly bor-
ing and very taxing for me.

What really рот me started was the
remake of One Million Years В. C., shot

off the coast of Africa, on top of a
volcano in the Canary Islands, There we
were in this really Godforsaken place
led Tenerife. There was only one build-
ing, a government-run pension, located
on the very top of (his volcano, and
there was no telephone or post office.
According to the natives, it hadn't rained
there in 87 years, but the minute we
got to the Canary Islands, it snowed.
Then it started raining and it nev
stopped. During the shooting, I was
practically naked, while everybody be-
hind the cameras stood around their
fires, wearing big warm coats. I had just
recovered from a bout with tonsillitis,
but 1 sort of dragged myself out of bed
and went up onto the roof of this pen-
n to have a couple of pictures taken. I
was a blonde at the time and I was
wearing a docskin bikini that I helped
design. It was the photographs in that
bikini that generated all the interest. h:
was one of those pictures that really did
it. One was sent to every theater owner
and film distributor in the world.
Meanwhile, a few photogra
gone down the mountain and
“Hey, there's this girl up there on top of
the volcano and she's so extraordina
you won't believe it." By that time, we
had moved to Lanzarote, another God-
forsaken island, and, all of a sudden,
thousands of photographers came out to
sce this girl. "I must liat de exclusive,"
they were all saying. It was obvious th
something was happening, but I wa
quite sure what it meant. Tr was truly
spontaneous thing, a lot more real than
something contrived. Everybody was say-
ing, "Who is this girl?” and I kept
gaining momentum. When 1 got back to
lon—pow!'—all the newspapers and
ines were running pictures of me
day. And then the interviews
I was hanged Тог
many of the innocent things I said, the
things that weren't properly guarded.
PLAYBOY: What kind of questions were
you asked?
WELCH: The question that really stumped
“What's it like to be a sex
iddenly, everyone was saying
1 was a sex goddess, 1 really don't know
what it's like. I'm not that person
PLAYBOY: To the public, nevertheless, that
your image. What do you think
L label means to the man in the street,
to those who see your movie:
WELCH: 1 suppose the word goddess im-
plies some power over men; in real
terms, that means Im someone most men
would very much like to go to bed with.
Unfortunately, all sex goddesses end up
being one-dimensional comicstrip char-
acters whom people lust alter but never
cally get to know as a human being.
Not only was I stifled by this image but
I thought I was misunderstood. Nobody
took me seriously. 1 wanted desperately
to get away from it, but to do that
seemed to be an impossibility. Regardless

every
began. I hated them

of what I did, I knew I was going to
look like Raquel Welch doing it. With
or without my help, a monster had been
created, and Fm still trying to find out
how to escape i
PLAYBOY: Is being a sex goddess really as
trau s all that?

WELCH; Well, it does have its advantages.
It's better than being labeled a washer-
woman. I was also tagged the most beau-
tiful woman in the world, and how can
any woman resist that kind of tery?
But the disadvantages far outweigh the
advantages. The label sex goddess some-
how eclipses everything else about you. A
sex goddess isn't a real living thing. She
a plastic lady. She's Superwoman. But
she has no intellect, no emotions, no an
thing. She's just a man-eater, the domi
nant woman. I don't happen to be any
of those things, especially not the new
Contemporary woman who verges on
dominance, No onc can tell her what
10 do. She gets everything she wants by
being as aggressive as her male counte
part. Women are becoming so dominant
now that I wonder if а lot of men arc
up to the challenge.

PLAYBOY: Some people think the Ame
ican male actually ger of being
emasculated.

WELCH: Absolutely. ‘The times have caught
up with men and really done away with
many of the things that were once regard-
ed as exclusively masculine. The man used
to be the head of the household: but now,
with so many women working, he's often
not the sole provider anymore. That's a
«вае thing for many men to handle
He has to be very secure in his own man-
hood to be able to live with that. Another
threat to the male sexual role is that
women are waking up to new kinds of
realities. Traditionally, а woman was а
delicate creature, who sat home doing em.
broidery. having children and generally
making a home for her husband as a cook
and helpmate—but not as an equal, She
had no way to divorce herself from those
duties to carry on an extramarital affair
It took all of her energy and cre y
just to keep her husband happy when he
came home, The man, meanwhile, was
out in the world, with the freedom to go
out and experiment. He had a broad
spectrum of experience, and when h
came home, his wife couldn't communi-
cate with him, because she knew nothing
about his life. Yet she was supposed to
sit there and take it, sacrificing her own
interests for her home and family.

Then she began feeling jealous be-
cause many men took advantage of this
self-sacrifice titude, and, little by lit-
tle, she became increasingly involved in
the outside world. Soon she found that
other people could take care of her chil-
dren and house. Then she discovered
that she had the time to work and carn
money. She became independent and
free—to dress the way she pleased, smoke
а man's cigarette, get on a horse, handle

ng

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87

PLAYBOY

88

a gun, do the whole thing. The logical
conclusion was that the woman told her
"Look, you have a double stand-
ег. You can go out and screw
you like, but don't expect me
10 sit home and be happy about it any-
more. H you screw around, I screw
around." A lot of women are turning to
that and. as a result of this new aggres-
siveness, I think their lovers are begi:
ning to say, "Wait a minute! АП my
life I wanted an easy but now Í wish
she'd just leave her clothes on and let
mne take them off of her. For C sake,
Im not even the instigator! She's ball-
ing me!" In all areas, somehow she’s be-
come the aggressor.
PLAYBOY: Do you think many women are
suited to handle that role?
WELCH: No. There's no one who's liberat
ed to the point the American woman
and yet handles it worse. She holds her
freedom like a club and beats the guy
over the head with it until he's abso-
lutely got stars coming out of his head.
he’s become so overdominant that she's
sed the point of equality and is now
sledge-hammering the poor American male
into the pavement. 1 can't imagine why
women want то do that, particularly radi
cal groups like S. C. U. M.—the Society
for Cutting Up Men. These women are
а bunch of real hags. They literally hate
men to the point of physical violence.
S.C. U. M—that’s a perfect name, isn't
it? They're urying to tell us that females
don't have a sex dr all, that we don't
need men, that sex is just an inconven-
ence—a chore that we're obliged to per-
form, in order to keep the rent paid and
а roof over our heads. They think they've
been mistreated and want to retaliate by
socking someone in the teeth. It's lunacy.
PLAYBOY: This question of sexual domi-
nance figures prominently in Myra Breck-
invidge—your next starring role. How did
you feel about competing with the several
transvestites who were also being con-
sidered for the part?
WELCH: I was frightened to death, Know-
ing that they tested all those transves-
titles made me feel really creepy. But
when J tested for the part. 1 played the
character as а woman, even though My
is actually a man who's undergone a
sex-change oper I think of Myra in
terms of how a girl would act if she had
а lot of balls and could use them to get
what she wanted. Let's face it, the kind
of a man who'd change himself into a
woman is already thinking like а female.
So why should 1 screw my head up by
trying to think like a man? The test was
a five-minute dialog in the office of Buck
Loner, the old-time movie idol who runs
a talent school for children.

Carrymg a black briefcase, I kicked
open the door and said, "Stand up when
a lady comes into the office, you son of a
bitch!" And then I asked him why he
cheated those poor provincial children,
bleeding them white for a chance at

eal

immortal stardom, when he knew they
were all doomed to an eternity of dish
washing. I tell him that Гуе got a certifi-
cate that proves I'm onc of his partners
and that I want exactly $500,000 for my
shure of the school. Myra comes on very
strong and butch; then she turns quite
coy, but you know she’s just being coy so
u She can crown it with the ni
tough blow. And yet there's a certain
fragility about it all. What comes across
is a very desirable creature—a really gut-
sy, ballsy chick. But she tosses so many
numbers at him that he doesn't know
which end is up. By the time she leaves,
she's done him up and down, She's made
him both fancy and fear her. And she's
in control. That's the main thing. She
uses every device at her command and
she's so blatant about it that it’s camp.
PLAYBOY: How were you able to identily
with this manipulative characier?

WELCH: I didn't ever think about it in
terms of this guy being a freak. I
thought of Муга as a person who lives
im a kind of fantasy world, and he/she
wants desperately to make that fantasy
come true. It will be great fun for me to
play her—as well as a great opportunity
for me as an acuesw—as long as she's
good time. She wants to make
come alive own life, to
play one part after but she's
looking for something that can never be
| Consequently, she's plagued by ter-
rible insecurities.
PLAYBOY: Couldn't that description of
Myra abo be applied to Raquel Welch
—a woman committed 10 competing
the fantasy world of the actress and sub-
ject to the same insecurities that. plague
so many in show busines
WELCH: Yes. Т obviously operate from
great insecurity. We all do. H you di
admit that, you'd be in worse trouble. If
I were completely right in the head,
were really well adjusted, 1 wouldn't be
an actress. But I'm really not equipped
to do anything else.

PLAYBOY: There are those who insist you're
not even equipped to do that: they claim
that your beauty is all you have to offer
WELCH: If it is, I'm in pretty bad shap
aren't I? But if I'm not capable of doi
anything more substantial than display-
myself, Id like to find out about. it

now, rather than continue to function at

what I consider to be 40 percent of my
ability. I can't negate the fact that Im
physically attractive, but 1 don't want lo
be pigeonholed by it. I have à need to
express myself. I want to be an actress.
PLAYBOY: Isn't the public getting tired
of hearing that cliché?

WELCH: Yes, but it happens to be the
truth, I haven't said these things for a
long time, because they do sound like an
embarrassing cliché, I realize that after
ng stardom, most actresses suddenly
pull this serious-actress bit and. renounce
their image. Well, I'm very grateful for
the success my attributes have brought

me, but J cant be a decorative phe-
nomenon for the rest of my career. I's

terribly destructive image: 1 know,
because at one point, 1 began believing
in it myself. 1 was totally convinced that
І was a complete nit, that everyone else
was far more cultured than 1. If enough
people tell you that you don't have any
ability or creativity or that your work
has no artistic merit, you begin to be
lieve them. To counteract that impres-

sion, | vowed to broaden my artistic
sensibilities. Marilyn Monroe went
through the same process. She married

Arthur Miller and studied with Lee
Strasberg, thinking these people could
give her what she needed. But you can't
get it from other people, really. It has to
come [rom yourself, When I began to
realize that, 1 decided that I'm just not
going to commit my entire life to the
shit I've been doing.

PLAYBOY: If you want to be appreciated
for your acti y, rather than for
your anatomy. why don't you wear
clothes that conceal rather than reveal?
WELCH: The reason you don't sce mc in
Mother Hubbards is that I'm just not
given those kinds of parts. I'm obviously
cast for certain roles because 1 have а
nice body and photograph well, and my
presence on the screen adds some flavor
to a movie. Of course, ГА like to play
roles, but most directors and. pro-
don't believe I have the ability to
at the nuances of warmth or depth into
a character. They asociate my image
with a lack of intelligence and skill. Ics
definitely а struggle, and I'm trying very
hard to convince industry people that 1
have the ability. but it's almost impossi-
ble to distinguish oneself in a very shal
low part. How do you tread water and at
the same time accomplish somethin,
Though 1 have to give them what they
expect, 1 ny to elaborate on the part as
much as possible—but I've yet to prove
myself. Maybe I never will, but I think I
ave Emotions and experiences to bring
to a characterization that Hollywood has
yet to tap. One of my problems is that
I've been badly directed and I've had
bad scripts to begin with.

AYBOY: How did you respond to re-
ws of One Million Years B. C. that

said such things as, "Her acting conveys
all the emot

ns of Mt. Rushmore
WELCH- Neither the producers nor 1 exer
pretended that Опе Million Years В. С
was going to be an art film, The audi
ence bought а very lovely girl, a
looking guy and a lot of prehistoric
monsters, Furthermore, I'm grateful for
having had the opporiunity to appear in
the film, because that was the real be
ing of my career. Without the status it

п
brought me, Га be in no position now to
stand up and say, "I want to be an
actress.
PLAYBOY: Did you attempt a credible per-
formance in the film?
weich: What do you

at from me?

alog consisted of words like ‘Tu
and “Seron.” Tumak was
nt bird we
called Seron was sup
posed to mean help. “ |" was my
big word. The producers also dubbed in
a number of grunts and groans for me.
The rest of the picture 1 spent running
away from monsters. When 1 see myself
in movies like that. 1 see that my cha
ters aren't projecting the things I 1
le me. Perhaps in the beginning, 1
was too scared and inept to bring some
kind of warmth or reality to a film.
PLAYBOY. That may be true, but voi
reviews were litle better for 100 Rifles,
released only а year ago.

WELCH: 1 agree that it was one of the
worst films ever made. When I saw 100
Rifles, it threw me into a depression that
lasted for a couple of weeks. It seemed to
me that ай the good moments in my
performance had been edited out, Dur
ing the sneak preview at a lo
1 just kept sinking lower in my seat. No
one even knew | was there. I wore a wig,
so that people wouldn't look at me. The
whole movie turned out to be high
camp. But it was a huge commercial
success, anyway.

PLAYBOY: As your husband once put it,
the studio hard-sell emphasized the с
dysmic meeting of “Superwoman” and
Superspade.” Do you consider this cim-
f rother example of the way you've
been exploi
wech No doubt about it. I cnn" tell
you how much 1 hated that whole cam-
paign. It undermined every bit of self
respect I have. Even while we were
filming, the pul mill was turning it
imo a circus because somebody taste
suggested to the press that the r
ship between Jim Brown and myself was
kin to “he mating of two bea
animals" 1 pleaded with the producers
and the publicists: "Don't make it а big
deal. Just portray us as two people who
are attracted to each other, so that when
we eventually get into the sack together
on film, it will be teal,
believable. Don't turn it
just because he's black and Im
But, no! The next thing 1
knew, the press started asking questions
about what it's like doing a love scene
with a black man. And that’s what the
public responded to. I never got any
diny mail before I did 100 Rifles. Then
ally devastat-
му, terrible lener. J
said that I was а filthy lide tart bees
I was acting in a film with a black man
Enclosed im the letter was a nice litle
prop—t wooden ruler.

PLAYBOY: Why did this particular letter
upset you so much?

WELCH: Because | couldn't believe that
some people still consider contact be
tween the races dirty. Things like that
hurt me deeply. But it gets to a point
where you've got to stop crying. J can't

86 PROOF - 100%

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in the U.S.A. That
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flavor of Scotland
without the price
of a trip.

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89

PLAYBOY

90

nge some people's attitudes, so fu
ot my problem anymore.
got tomorrow to look forward to and
I've got my self-respect to think of. I
һер: to learn how to deal with my
entity problem after I returned from
Europe two years ago. But that whole
iod was very distressing for me, be-
cause L had just been married in Paris
and the wedding was an incredible side
show. It really left me sh
PLAYBOY: From thc newsp: accounts,
one would assume that your wedding was
staged for the publicity. Is that true?
WELCH: No. I didn't plan it. I didn't go
here as a press gimmick, I went there to
get married. Why should I be criticized
just because it turned out to be a fantas-
ic. cl We just ne
er had a moment to ourselves from the
time we got off that plane. Photogra.
phers and reporters. followed. us every
place we went. They even had w
talkies. They trailed us to our hotel and
waited outside the door until we came
out. They slept in their cars in front of
the hotel. They went to every restaurant
we went to. They went to the Lid
us. Patrick hi three
cars to decoy would di
down the Ch

them, We
mps Elysees, change са

rs tt
a given point and then drive off in the
opposite direction. It was like a military
operat h complicated plans—but
none of it worked. 1 went into Yves Saint
Laurents salon to buy a wedding dress
and 95 photographers poked their lenses
through (he curtain in the changing
room. There wa isfy them.
1 bought a white crocheted wedding
ess that caused even more of a flurry
when we arrived for the ceremony. There
were 300 photographers waiting at the
mayor's office and we could hardly get
through the door. They were pushing
and shov nd grabbing us, yelling,
“Tum 1, Miss Welch," and “Th
s Welch,” and forcing us адай

fied. It was like

t
bad

movie.
PLAYBOY:
return to the U. 5.2

After that, was it a relief to

WELCH: from it. We'd been away so
long that we literally had no home to
ck to. On top of that, I wasn't
ith my career, I'd been to Eu-
le five movies, yet 1 knew
nothing about the countries Pd visited
or the people I'd worked with. It was all
just nothing to me. 1 felt not like a hu-
man being but like a puppet who'd just
been manipulated. Then, too, | was
frightened about married life and about
my whole identity. That’s when paranoia
took over. I felt that people were alter me,
that they were standing around corners
with their stilettos, just aching to slit my
throat, that everybody was trying to
choke me to death because they didn't
like me—that whole scene. I couldn't
deal with it I thought 1 was being
victimized by all the people who propa-

gated my sex-goddess image; that people
in the industry considered me a sub-
standard actress; that 1 was trapped in-
side this terrible plastic lady, screaming
to get ош. I obviously wasn't prepared
for the kinds of pressures and responsi-
bilities that were being forced on me.
The inhuman aspect of show business is
that even though the pressures have
pushed you over the border of sanity, you
must continue to function and deliver,
Irs a mental crippler.
PLAYBOY: Did you sec an
timc?

WELCH: No, I didn't. I've never been to
an analyst, but I've considered it. 1 sup-

malyst at that

pose I've been my ov
ways. Soon alter t
lude, 1 n

nosty toward people, which led to
overy that it wast that. people
didn't like me but that I didn't like
myself. Finally, 1 decided to stop judging
myself every minute. I realized that if I
didn’t like who I was Га better start
making a few changes. Supposedly, 1 was
this indestructible six-foot Barbie doll;
but D finally comprehended that there
mythical Tady in
1 am five foot, six, symmetrical-
ly built, analytical in mind, passionate i
impulse. I'm not a female Jobn Wayne.
Most ol the men I know were truly
relieved when they found out that Fm
not a m: 1
PLAYBOY: Do you u the public will
accept the real Raquel Welch?
WELCH: Today, we can and do accept real
people оп the screen—people with nor-
mal dimensions of perso
an audience can relate to
Thirties and Forties are gone now and
the public isn't as turned on by рата
as it used to be. No one goes around
today singing, “Аһ, sweet mystery of life
at last I've found you." The old film
s had a certain kind of charisma, but
they rarely went before the public olf-
camera, lest they damage their caretully
constructed images. Stars today are far
more down to earth and olten say very
provocative things in public; they don't
confine their relationship with the audi
ence to signing autographs or answering

п ma

What's happening
people in the film industry are being
forced to explore their imaginations more
id more, and producers and directors ате
discovering that they can often make a
better film for less money, using un-
known actors, Take Dustin Hoffman or
Woody Allen. Theyre not your every-
day, garden-variety matinee idols, but
they've got fabulous heads and I per-
sonally find such comedic
erotic. Both Holfn
ing big box-office movies, yet neither has
the romantic appeal of the past. Ob-
jously, what they've got comes from

ier. So w:

ity— because
them. The

PLAYBOY: Do you think your own roman
ic appeal is likely to endure as the years
pus, even if you're successful in estib-
lishing yourself as an actress rather than
a sex star?

WELCH: I don't think real beauty can
ever wither. I've never believed some.
body's bone structure tomy makes
him what he is. Physical equipment is
secondary to something that comes from
inside. J don't believe the face and figur
have anything to do with being an en-
during artist in films. Look at Barbara
Stanwyck and Katharine Hepburn, who
were great beauties in their day. Jeanne
Moreau is an older woman who appears
to know everything about life and love.
She looks slightly dissipated, but still
comes off as very єз also
the tremendous spirit a iant quality
of Marlene Dietrich, who has taken great
спе to preserve herself. 1 don’t know how
they do it, but Гуе seen too many attrac
tive women between the ages of 10 and
60 to believe that getting old is such a
hard rap.

PLAYBOY: You feel, then, that you're only
at the beginning of a long career.
WELCH: Well I'm not as frightened or
pressured by the pace of things as 1 w
when 1 first began. T understand now
that Fm my own worst enemy and that
when I do something wrong or stupid, I
mustn't knock myself down for it. I
know that I can't bat 1000
and that Tm bound to do and say some
dumb things bur u's nut che cnd of
the world. If 1 keep working hard
enough and if I'm able to reveal myself

ll the time

in my work, then I'm bound to start
m from acting.

getting what I wa
PLAYBOY. And what's th;
WELCH: 1 don't know yet. 1 haven't found
the single aspect within me that suits me
best or that I'm most happy with. Im
still in a quandary as to which lady 1
want to be. But when I find that. out,
people will realize that I deserve to be
regarded as an actress of st

longevity. I've been exploited in the past
but 1

wont be
Fm not
wp attractive
and for getting started that way. What
really matters to me пом is having the
deiermination to be myself. But it takes
a considerable amount of experi
find out who you
haven't been able to get that yet. 1 know
that I'm on the right track, though. My
me is а household word: everybody
knows who 1 am and they stand in linc
to see my movies. Now, if only the
people in the industry would stop ma

ing me as Holly

for the way I look,
wicked into that
bout 10 apolo

ligning me. stop typeca:
ry gland and give
ice to asert myself, they п
not xe a Duse or а Bernhardt,

they'll discover a damn good actress.

WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY?

A man who entertains with imagination. A hospitable young host, his guests are always greeted
and treated with the best. From the delectable buffet to the well-balanced bar, his frequent soirees
are always party perfect. And his inclination for upbeat entertaining is matched by his upscale
income. Fact: PLAYBOY is read by one out of every three men 18—34 who earn $15,000 and over.
Want your product on his guest list? Let PLAYBOY handle the introduction. (Source: 1969 Simmons.)

New York + Chicago + Detroit + Los Angeles + San Francisco + Atlanta . London - Tokyo

A HORN Brew outside the garage and Tom climbed out
from under the Ford on which he was working in the
grease pit and, wiping his hands on a rag, went out to
where the Oldsmobile was standing, next to one of the
pumps.

ЕШ "er up." Mr. Herbert said. He was a steady
customer, a realestate man who had taken options on

outlying properties near the garage at low, wartime
prices, lying in wait for the posi-War boom. Now that
the Japanese had surrendered, his car passed the
gurage frequently. He bought all his gas at the Jordache

station, using the Ы arket
Jordache sold to the more discreet
Thomas unscrewed the tank
cap and ran the gasoline in,
holding omo the trigger of the
hose nozzle. It was a hot alter
noon and the fumes from the
ng gasoline rose in vi
ves from the tank. Thomas
turned his head, trying to
avoid breathing im the vapor.
He had a headache every night
from this job. The Ce
g cher

n stamps Harold
mong hiis customers.

way that
he didn't think of his father as
German. There was the accent,
of course, and the two pale-
blonde Mers who we
dressed uely Bavarian

dl the heavy meals of sausage and
ind the constant sound of people
er and Schubert lieder on the phonograph
in the house, because Mrs. Jordache loved music. Tante

was alone in the garage. Coyne, the mechanic,
k this week and the second man was out on a
It was two o'dod. in the afternoon and Harold

call.
Jordache was still home at lunch. Sauerbraien mit Spätzle

and three bottles of Miller High
on the big bed upstairs with his fat wile, to
they didn't overwork and have premature heart
Thomas was just as glad that the maid gave him two
sandwiches and some fruit in a bag for his lunch to eat
at the garage. The less he saw of his uncle and his family,
the better he liked it. It was enough he had to live in
the house, in the minuscule room in the attic, where he
lay sweating all night in the heat that had collected there
under the roof in the summer sun during the day. Fif-
teen dollars а week. le Harold had made a good
thing out of the act that Thomas had been exiled from
home and Port Philip.

"The tank overflowed a little and Thomas hung up the
hose and put on the cap and wiped away the splash of
gasoline on the rear fender. He washed the windshield

and a nice snooze

there's no telling what trouble you may get into if you land in a sleepy little whistle
stop that turns out to have more girls on the loose than one stranger can handle

х THOMAS
IN
ELYSIUM

fiction By IRWIN SHAW

down and collected $4.30 and the black-market stamps
from Mr. Herbert, who gave him a dime tip.
“Thanks,” Thomas said, with a good facsimile of grati-
tude, and watched the Oldsmobile drive off into town
The Jordache garage was on the outskirts of town, so
they got a lot of transient traffic, too. Thomas went
the office and charged. up the sale on the register
put the money into the till and threw the ration tickets
into the carton on the desk. He had finished the grease
job on the Ford and, for the moment, he had nothing
do, although if his uncle were there, he would have no
trouble finding work for him. Probably cleaning out the
toilets or polishing the chrome of the shining hulks in the
bcar lot. Thomas thought
idly of cleaning out the cash
register. instead, and taking off
somewhere, He rang the xo
sate key and looked in. Wi
Mr. Herbert's $4.30, there was
exactly 510.30 in the drawer
Unde Harold had lifted the
mornings receipts whe:
went home for lunch. just 1
ing five one-dollur da
dollar in silve
body had to have change. Uncle
Harold hadn't become the ow
cr of a ga
lot and a filling station and an
automobile agency in town by
being careless with his money.

"Thomas hadn't eaten yet, so
he picked up his lunch bag and
went out of the office and sat tilted on the cracked

wooden cha inst the wall of the garage, in the shade,
watching the trafic go by. The view was not unpleasant.
‘There was something n; al and regattalike about the
cars in diagonal lines in the lot, with gaily colored ban
ners overhead, announcing bargains. There was a lumber-
ard diagonally across the road, but there was the
ocher and green of patches of farmland all around
a roadhouse that was dosed now but advertised dancing
on Saturday nights. H you sat still, the heat wasn't too
bad and just the absence of Uncle Harold gave "Thomas
a sense of well-being.

and pulled out a
ed paper. It was а bacon, lettuce
with a lot of mayonnaise, on fresh,
Recently, Clothilde, the Jordaches
maid, had begun to i cy sandwiches, different
ones every day, instead of the unrelieved dict of balone
on thick hunks of bread that he had h
the first few weeks. Tom
his grease- nds with the black nails on the
elaborate, teashoppe sandwich. It was just as well that
Clothilde couldn't see him as he ate her offerings. She
was nice, Clothilde, a quiet French.
of about 25, who worked from sew

indwich. It w:

ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES SCHORFE

until nine at

ight. with every other Sunday afternoon
off. 5 1 black hair and this uni-
form somberness of coloring set her olf as being ineluc-
tably lower in the social scale than the aggressively
blonde Jordaches, as though she had been born and
marked specifically to be their servant.

She had taken to leaving a piece of pie out on the
kitchen table for him, too, at night, when he left the
house after dinner to wander around the town. Uncle
Harold and Tante Elsa couldn't keep him in the house

night any more than his own parents used to He
had to wander, Nighttime made him restless. He didn't
do much—sometimes he'd play in a pickup softball
game under the lights in the town park or he'd go to
a movie and have a soda afterward and he'd found some
girls. He had made no friends who might ask embar-
sing questions about Port Philip and he'd been care-
ful 10 be civil to everyone and he hadn't had a fi;
nee he'd come to town. He'd had enough trouble for
the time being. Actually, he wasn't unhappy. Being out
from under his mother and father was а blessing and
not living in the same house and sharing the same bed
with his brother Rudolph was soothing to the nerves.
And not having to go to school was а big improvement.
He didn't mind the work at the garage, although Uncle
Harold was a nuisance, always fussing and worrying.
Тате Elsa clucked over him and kept giving him
glasses of orange juice under the impression th
lean fitness was a sign of malnutrition. They meant
well enough, even if they were slobs, The two little
girls stayed out of his way.

Neither of the senior Jordaches knew why he had
been sent away from home. Uncle Harold had pried,
but Thomas had been vague and had merely said that

as doing hadly at school, which was true enough,
and that his father had thought it would be good for

s character to get away from home and earn some
money on his own. Uncle Harold was not one to under-
estimate the moral beauties of sending a boy out to

п money on his own. Не was surprised, though, th
Thomas never got any mail from his family and that
after that first Sunday-afternoon telephone call from
Axel, telling him that Thomas was on his way, there
had been no further communication from Port Philip.
himself, extrava-
nd lavish
with gilts for his wife, whose money it had been in the
first place that had enabled him to take his comfortable
place in Elysium, In talking about Axel Jordache to
"Tom, Uncle Harold had sighed over the differences in
temperament between the brothers. “I think, Tom,"
Unde Harold bad said, "it was because of his war
wound. He took it very hard, your father. It brought
ош the dark side in him, As though nobody ever was
wounded before

Harold shared one conception with Axel Jordache.
The German people, he believed, had a streak of child-
ess in them, which drove them ino ap war.
"Play a band and they march, What's so attractive about
it?” he said. "Clumping around in the rain, with a
sergeant yelling at you, sleeping in the mud, instead of

in а пісе warm bed with your wife, being shot at by
people you don't know, and then, if you're lucky,
winding up in an old uniform without a pot to piss in.
It's all right for a big industrialist, the Krupps, making
саппоп» and battleships, but for the small man"—he
shrugged. "Stalingrad—who needs it?” With all his
Germanness, he ar of all German-American
he was
and he was not to be lured into any associations that
might compromise him. "I got nothing against any-
body,” was one of the foundations of his policy. “Not
against the Poles, or the French, or the English, or the
Jews or anybody. Not even the Russians, Anybody who
wants can come in and buy a car or ten gallons of gas
from me and if he pays in good American money, he's
my friend.”

Thomas lived placidly enough in Unde Harold's
house, observing the rules, going his own way, occasion-
ally annoyed at his uncle's reluctance to see him sitting
down for а few minutes during the working day but,
by and large, more grateful than not for the sanctuary
that was being offered him. It only temporary.
Sooner or later, he knew he w; ng to break away.
Bur there was no hurry.

He was just about to dig into the bag for the second
sandwich when he saw the twins 1938 Chevy approach-
ing. Tt curved in toward the filling station and Tom
saw that there was only one of the twins in it, He didn’t
know which one it was, Ethel or Edna, He had screwed
them both, as had most of the boys in town, but he
couldn't tell them apart.

The Chevy stopped, gurgling and creaking. The
twins’ parents were loaded with money, but they said
the old good enough for two 16-yearold
girls who had never earned a cent in their lives.

“Hi, twin,” Tom , to be on the safe side.

Hi, Tom.” The twins were nice-looking girls, well
tanned, with straight brown hair and skin that always
looked they had just come out of a mountain
spring, and plump little tight asses. If you didn't know
that they had laid every boy in town, you'd be pleased
to be seen with them anywhere.

"Tell me my name,” the twin said.

Aw. come on,” "Tom said.

“If you don't tell me my name," the twin said, "TII

goi

unce's money."
е you to a party," the twin said.
ing some hot dogs down at the lake tonight
е three cases of beer. I won't invite you if
you don't tell me my name."

Tom grinned at her, stalling for time. He looked into

had a white ba
only kidd
bathing
you all the time.”
Give me three gallons,” Ethel said. "Forguessing right.”
“I wasn't guessing,” he said, taking down the hose.
“You're printed on my memory.”
“1 bet,” Ethel said. She looked

hing suit on the scat beside her. "I was
ag you, he said. Ethel had a white

round at the garage

PLAYBOY

96

and wrinkled her nose. “This is a dumb
old place to work. I bet a fellow like
you could get something a lot better if
he looked around. At least in an office."

He had told her, as he had told others
in Elysium, that he was 19 years old and
graduated from high school She had
come over 10 talk to ter he had
spent 15 minutes one Saturday afternoon
down at the lake, showing off on the
diving board. "I like it here," he said.
m an outdoor man."
she said, chuckli
They had screwed out in the woods on а
blanket that she kept in the rumble seat
of the car. He had screwed her sister
dna in the same place on the s
ket, although on
The twins had an easygoing family spirit
of share and share alike. The twins did a
lot toward making Tom willing 10 stay
умит and work in his uncle's
rage. He didn’t know what he was goin
to do in the winter, though, when the
woods were covered with snow.

He put the cap back on the
racked up the hose, Ethel gave him a
dollar bill but no
he said, “where're th
urprise, surprise,
"Im all out."

“You got to

She pouted. “After everything you
I are to cach other. Do you think An
tony asked Cleopatra for ration. tickets?”
e didn't have to buy gas from
him,” Tom said.

“What's the difference?” Ethel said.
“My old man buys the coupons from
your uncle, In one pocket and out the
other. "There's a war on.

“Ivy ov

“Only

“OK.” Tom said.
beautiful.”

“Do you think
Edna?" she asked.

"One hundred percent."

“T'I tell her you

е 'em.”

“Just because you're

Im prettier than

didn’t relish the idea of cutting his ha-

rem down by half by any unnecessary

exchange of informa
Ethel peered into the empty garage.

"Do you think people ever do it in a

garage?”

ave it for tonight, Cleopatra

said.
She giggled. "It's nice to try cvery-
thing once. Do you have the key?"
"I'll get it sometime.” Now he
what to do in the winter.
Why don't you just leave this dump
and come on down to the lake with me?
L know a place we can go skinny-bath-
" She wriggled desirably on the
cracked leather of the front seat. It was
funny how two girls in the
could be such hot numb
dered what their father and

w

mother

thought when they started out to church
h their d day morning.

essential to industry. That's why I'm not
in the Army.”

"E wish you were a captain,” Ethel
said. "I'd love to undress a captain. One
brass button alter another. Ud unbuckle
your sword.

"Get out of here,” Tom said, “before
my uncle comes back and asks me if 1
collected your п tickets.

“Where should I meet you tonight?”
ked. starting the motor.

"In front of the library. Eight-thirty
OK?

“Fight-thirty, lover boy," she said. “TI
lay out in the sun and think about you
all afternoon and pant.” She waved and
went off.

‘Tom sat down in the shade on the
broken chair. He reached into the lunch
bag amd took out the second sandwich
and unwrapped it. There was a piece of
paper, folded in two, on the sandwich.
He opened up the paper. There

iting on it in pencil. “I love you,” in
l, schoolgirlish script. Tom squint
the message. He recognized the
ndwriting. Clothilde wrote out the list
of things she had to phone the market
for every day and the list was always in
Ше same place on a shelf in the Kitchei

‘Tom whistled softly. He read aloud.
“I love you." His voice was sull adoles-
cently high, nearly soprano. A 2
old woman to whom he'd hardly ever
spoken more than (wo words. He folded
the paper carefully and put it in his
pocket and stared out at the wallic
sweeping along the road toward Cleve-
land for a long time before he began
eating the оп, lettuce and tomato
sandwich, soaked in mayonnaise,

He knew he wasn't going out to the
lake tonight for any old wienie roast.

He sat in Uncle Harold and Tanie
Elsa's big bathtub, steaming in the hot
water, his eyes closed, drowsing, like an
animal sunning himself on a rock, as
Clothilde washed his hair. le Harold.
and Tante nd the two girls were at
Saratoga for their annual two-wt
day and Tom and Clothilde
house to themselves. It was Sunda
the garage closed.
tance, а church bell was

The deft fingers massaged his scalp,
caressed the back of his neck through
foaming perfumed suds. Clothilde had
bought a special soap for him in the
drugstore with her own money. Sand
wood. When Unde Harold came back,
he'd have 10 go back to good old Ivory,
eight cents a cake. Uncle Harold would.
suspect something was up if he smelled
the sandalwood. Caught by a nose. 99
and 4{/100ths percent pure.

Tom lay back in the water and stayed
under as her fingers worked vigorously

sh

through his hair, гй
He came up blow

"Now your nails" Clothilde said. She
kneeled beside the tub and scrubbed
with the nailbrush at the black grease
ground into the skin of his hands and
under bis nails. Clothilde was naked and
her dark hair was down, falling in
cascade over her low, full breasts. Eve
humbly kneeling, she didn't look like
anybody's servant with her hair down.

His hands were pink, his nails rosy, as
Clothilde scrubbed away. He looked
down at her wedding ring, glistening in
foam.

Clothilde put the brush on the rim of
the tub, after a Tast meticulous examina-
tion, “Now the rest,” she said.

He stood up in the bath, She got off
her knees and began 10 soap him down
She had wide firm hips and strong legs.
Her skin was dark and with her flattish
nose and wide cheekbones and lon
straight hair, she looked like pictures he
had seen in history books of Indian girls
greeting the first white sewers in the
forests. There was a scar on her right
arm, a jagged crescent of white. H
husband had hit her with a piece of
kindling. Long ago, she said. In Cana
She didn’t want to talk about her |
band. When he looked at her, sometl
funny happened in his throat
didn’t know whether he wanted to
or cry.

Motherly hands touched him lightly.
gly, doing unmotherly things. Be
en his buttocks, slipperiness of scent-
«а soap; between his thighs, promises
An orchestra in his һай. Woodwinds
and flutes. Hearing Tante Elsa's phono-
graph blaring all the timc, he had come
10 love Wagner. "We are finally civiliz
the litde fox," Tante Elsa had said
proud of her unexpected cultural i
fluence.

“Now the feet," Clothilde said.

He obediently put a foot up on the
rim of the tub, like a horse being shod.
Bending, careless of her hair, she soaped
between his wes amd used a washcloth
devotedly, as though she were bun
dhuich silver, He leaned that even his

ag out the suds.

toes could give him pleasure

She finished with his other foot and he
stood there, glistening in the steam. She
looked at him, studying him. `
she said.

body,” “You look
Sebastia the arrows."
wasn't joking. She never joked. It was
the first п of his life that his

tions. He knew that he was strong
quick and that his body was good for
nes and fighting, but it had never
occurred to him that it would delight
anybody just to look at it. He wouldn't
know what the word aesthetic meant if
he came across it in a book. He was a
Tittle ashamed that he had no hair yet on

(continued on page 100)

“Му God, this has been an erotic year."

RUGER SPORTS TOURER: Unlike some skin-deep
attempts at re-creating the icons of the classic-cor era,
the Ruger—fashioned after a Van den Plas—bodied
AV,-liter Bentley Tourer—is about as honest on
evacation of the Twenties as today's standards of
safety and performance will allow. From ils rugged
X frame to its Navgahyde-covered fiberglass

body, the Ruger—brain child of William

B. Ruger, the famed Connecticut firearms maker—is
a suitable successor to yesteryeor's land yachts. With
its windscreen folded flat and the cloth top tucked
into the boot, the no-nonsense lines of the Ruger are
dramatically apparent. A chrome-plated exterior
hand brake, functional radiator cap, ploted-bross
hardware and a stainless-steel exhaust system are
examples af Ruger's meticulous detailing. The only
significant departure from the ariginal is found under
the polished-cluminum bannet. Instead of the aesthetic
but archaic long-stroked Bentley engine, there is a
429-cubic-inch Ford V8. Production plans: 200 of

the lovely brutes a year at $13,000 each.

CLASSIC
COMEBACKS

A CONTEMPORARY. VARIATION ON A
VINTAGE BENTLEY THEMEAND A FAITHFULLY
REPRODUCED BOATTAILED AUBURN

OFFER THE INDIVIDUALITY OF TRADITIONAL
ELEGANCE: IN AN ASSEMBLY-LINE AGE

MODEL 866 AUBURN SPEEDSTER: Faithfully dupli-
cating the legendary Model 851 /2 Auburn Speedster in
almost every detail, this contemporary version has
been mistaken for one of the original boattailed
beauties by some members of the Auburn-Cord-
Duesenberg Club. its chromed exhaust headers coil into
the still-glomorous "teardrop fenders with the same
sex appeal that they possessed in 1935, when Gordon
Buehrig's design was fresh from the styling board. This
hand-rubbed fiberglass replica has a wheelbase of
127 inches, exactly that of the criginal; but, becouse

it is three inches lower and two inches wider, the 866
is even more rakish than its predecessor—and hotter :
the supercharged Lycoming straight-eight engine has
been replaced with o 428-cubic-inch Ford V8. The
newer version alsa has independent front suspension
опа o limited-slip differential. Braking is commensurcte
with the added power: Bendix extra-service drums ore
fitted all around. All this and а golf-bag doar, tco.
Price: $9450 F.O.8. Broken Arrow, Oklahoma.

FHOTOGRAPHY BY J. BARRY O'ROURKE

ames
mi

PLAYBOY

THOMAS IN ELYSIUM (continued from page 96)

his chest and that it was so sparse down
below.

With a quick motion of her hands, she
did her hair up in а knot on top of her
head. Then she stepped into the bath-
tub, too. She took the bar of soap and
the suds began to glisten on her skin.
She soaped herself all over methodically,
without coquetry. Then they slid down
nto the tub together and lay quietly,
with their arms around each other.

1f Uncle Harold and Tante Elsa and
the two girls fell sick and died in Sarato-
ga, he would stay in this house in Ely-
sium forever.

When the water began to cool, they
got out of the tub and Clothilde took
опе of the big special towels of Tante
Elst and dried him off. While she was
scrubbing out the tub,
housewife, he went into the Jordache?
bedroom and lay down on the freshly
made crisp bed. This was a lot better
than the hard pallet in the little maid's
room behind the kitchen that he had to
sneak into late at night, when the family
was home.

Bees buzzed outside the screened win-
dows, green shades against the sun made
a grotto of the bedroom, the bureau
against the wall was a ship on a green
sca.

She came padding i
now, for another occasion. On her [ace
the soft, darkly
expression he had come to look for,
yearn for.

She lay down beside him, Wave of
sandalwood. Her hand reached out for
him, carefully. The touch of love, cher-
ishing him, an act apart from all other
acts, profoundly apart from the giggly
high school of the twins and Ше
al excitement of the woman on
lev Street back in Port Philip. It
was incredible to him that anyone could
want ло touch him like tha

Sweetly, gently, he took her, while the
bees foraged the window boxes outside
the screens. He waited for her, adept
now, taught, well and quickly taught, by
that wide Indian body; and when it was
over and they lay side by side, he
knew that he would do anything for her,
anything. any time she asked.

She slipped out of the bed and he
heard her in the bathroom, dressing,
then going softly down the stairs toward

distant, concentrated

the kitchen. He lay there, staring up at the
ceiling, all gratitude, and all bitterness

He hated being [6 years old. He could
do nothing for her. He could accept
her rich offering of herself, he could sneak
into her room at night, but he couldn't
even take her for a walk in the park or
give her а scarf аз а gift, because а tongue
might wag, or Tante Elsa's sharp eye
might search out the new color in the
warped bureau drawer in the room behind

100 the kitchen. He couldn't take her away

from this grinding house in which she
slaved. If only he were 20... .

She came silently into the room
"Come cat," she said.

He spoke from the bed. "When I'm
twenty," he said, "I'm coming here and

jg you away."

She smiled. “My man," she said. She
fingered her wedding ring absently.
Don't take long. The food is hot."

He went into the bathroom and dressed
and went on down to the kitchen.

There were flowers on the kitchen
table, between the two places laid out
there. Phlox. Deep blue. She did the
gardening, too. She had a knowing hand
with flowers. "Shes a pearl, my Clo-
thilde,” he had heard Tante Elsa say.
“The roses're twice as big this year.”

"You should have your own garden,"
Tom said, as he sat before his place.
What he could not give her in reality he
offered in intention. He was barefooted
and the linoleum felt cool and smooth
against his soles. His hair, still damp, was
neatly combed, the blond tight curls glis-
tening darkly. She liked everything neat
and shining clean, pots and pans, mahog-
лу, front halls, boys. It was the least he
could do for her.

She put a bowl of fish chowder in
front of him.

"I said you should have your own
rden," he repeated.

Drink your soup," she said, and sat
down at her own place across from him.

A leg of lamb, small, tender and rare,
came next, served with parsleyed new
potatoes, roasted in the same pan with
the lamb. There was a heaped bowl ol
buttered young string beans and a salad
of crisp romaine and tomatoes. À plate
of fresh hot biscuits stood to one side
ad a big slab of sweet butter, next to
frosted pitcher of milk.

Gravely, she watched him eat, smiled
when he offered his plate again, During
the family’s holiday, she got on the bus
every morning to go to the next town to
do her shopping, using her own money.
‘The shopkeepers of Elysium would have
been sure to report back to Mrs. Jor
dache about the fine meats and carefully
chosen first fruits for the feasts prepared
in her kitchen in her absence.

For dessert, there was vanilla ice cream
that Clothilde had made that morning,
ıd hor chocolate sauce. She knew her
lover's appetites. She had announced her
love with two bacon, lettuce and tomato
sandwiches. Its consummation demanded
richer fare.

“Clothilde,
work here?

“Where should | work?” She was sur-
d. She spoke in a low voice, always,
without inflection, There was a hint of
something a little foreign in her speech.
She almost said V for W. French С:

Tom said, “why do you

“Anyplace. In a store. In a factory
Not as a servant

“I like being in a house. Cooking
meals,” she said. “It is not so bad. Your
aunt is proper with me. She appreciates
me. It was kind of her to take me in. 1
came here, two years ago, I didn't know
a soul, I didn't have a penny. I like the
little girls very much. They are alwa
clean. What could I do in a store or a
factory? 1 am very slow at adding and

btracting, I am frightened of machi
Llike being in a house.”

"Somebody else’s house,” Tom said. It
was intolerable that those two fat slobs
could order Clothilde around.

“This week," she said, touching his
hand on the table, “it is our house.”

“We can never go out with each
other.”

“So?” She shrugged. "What are we
missing?

"We have to sneak around," he cried.
He was growing angry with her.

"So?" She shrugged again. "There are
many things worth sneaking around for.
Not everything good is out in the open.
Maybe І like secrets.” Her face gleamed
with one of her rare soft smiles.

"This afternoon . . ." he said stub
bornly, trying to plant the seed of revolt,
arouse that placid peasant docility. "After
a... a banquel like this. . . ." He waved
his hand over the table. “Its not right.
We should go out, do something, not
just sit around.

“What is there to do?" she
ously.
“There's a band concert
“A baseball game.”

^I get enough music from Tante Elsi's
phonograph," she said. "You go to the
baseball game for me and tell me who
won. I will be very happy here, cleaning
up and waiting for vou to come home.
s long as you come home, | do not
want anything else, Tommy."

"m not going anywhere without you
today," he said. giving up. He stood up.
“TIl wipe the dishes."

"There's no need,” she said.

“TI wipe the dishes,” he said with
great authority.

“My man," she
beyond ambition,
plicities.

asked sei

the park,

. She smiled again,
confident in her sim-

The next evening after work, on his
way home from the garage on his wobbly
Ivar Johnson, he was passing the town
npulse, he stopped.
ned the bike against а railing and went
п. He hardly read anything at all, not
even the sports pages of the newspapers,
and he was not a frequenter of libraries.
Perhaps in reaction to his
sister, always with their ni
nd full of fancy sneering ideas
The hush of the library and the un-
welcoming examination of his grease
stained clothes by the lady librarian
(continued оп page 244)

library. On a sudde
le

А
RECLUSE
AND
HIS GUEST

in coming unbidden
to his house, she had
brought with her the one
thing he feared most
fiction
By TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

тне TALL and angular person—man or woman?—had come

into town not by the road (which the winter had made

nearly impassable for months) but northward through

the Midnight Forest, which was still more impassable.
id that you came here through the forest.

‘ou weren't afraid of being attacked by wolves”

se, you see, I had smeared my leather

wrappings with an oil that is repellent to wolves. They

smell this oil and go in other directions without looking
back.

“You were coming from—"

“Vladnik.”

"Oh, from Vladnik. That explains why you—

“Couldnt come by the road but had to struggle
through the Midnight Forest, Josing my way several
times. Oh, I doubt that ever in my travels I've had a
worse time o!

“Why did you leave Vladnikz"

"En Viadnik I was the guest of a tradesman who
suddenly found it inconvenient for me to stay with hi
any longer.

(This is part of a conversation that the woman had
with someone a few weeks after she arrived in the icy
scaport of Staad.)

"Ehe woman had eyes the color of the ice in the harbor
and her hair, closccropped, was so fair that it seemed to
be gray.

An carlier conversation that she had with a baker—he
gave her a loaf of bread—should not be omitted.

“Do you know of a man in Staad, I mean a man who's
unmarried, of course, who might take me in for a while?

“Well, now, I don't know," said the baker. "No, J
don’t know of any, unless you'd stay with a recluse.”

"I never turn back," said the woman, "and before me
in Staad, what is there but the ice in the harbor?”

"This recluse is not much different from the ice in the
harbor.”

“Thank you for the bread. 1 was very hungry. Now
would you please tell me how 1 can find the house of this
recluse?

"Lct's see, where is it? 1 think if you go down the road
and take the second turn to the left, you'll find the house
of the recluse. You'll recognize it by the windows; he
keeps them boarded up in winter. But as for your luck
there, don't count on it much or even a little. He hasn't
let anyone in since the death of his mother and he goes
out only now and then to buy necessary provi

“Thank you. DH try my luck there.
1t takes a great deal of patience to enter the home ot

MLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES BRAGS

a recluse. The тесе did not admit the woman that
morning, but she w ient. She stayed on his porch
till evening, and during the time between morning and
evening, she swept the snow off his porch with birch
branches; and. from time to time, during her wait for a
meeting with the recluse and a possible acceptance, she
sang loudly in a hoarse voice that could have been the

e of a man or a woman.

Evening came on, as bitterly cold as a heart that h;
never felt love nor суеп friendship. Them, surprisingly.
the recluse opened his door an inch or two and the
woman addressed him with a torrent of words.

‘This went on for an hour before the recuse admitted
her into his house,

At the Black Crown tavern that night, the matter was
mentioned and discussed a bit.

"L understand that the recluse has taken in somebody
who crossed the Midnight Forest from Vladnik."

"А тап or a woman?”

а woman."
an adult human being, it must be one or the
other, unless it's an apparition,"

"Is a woman who seems like an apparition because
she's so tall and she moves without bending her knees."

You mean she stalks?"
s, T would say she stalks.

“This apparition (hat you say is а woman swept th
snow off the porch of the recluse with birch branches and
she waited all day for the recluse to let her in."

"Perhaps the recluse has taken sick and sent for a
relative to care for him."

Yes, well, personally, 1"

"You say she did get in?”

"Finally.

"Stange things happen sometimes, and sometimes they

ppen as often as things that aren't strange at all.”

Now a few days had passed and the stalking wor
seemed to have settled in with the recluse, at least for a
while,

Changes began to take place in the house of the
recluse. The windows were unboarded and the glass
panes were washed

Snow was swept off the stone walk between the porch

nd the side road.

А wash line was strung between two birch trees and
washed garments were hung along it

The recluse was seen moving about the yard of hi
house as if he had never looked at it from the outside
before.

After some days, the senior councilor of the town paid
an official visit to the recluse and his mysterious visitor.

At the Black Crown tavern that night, it was said that
the councilor had asked the stalking молла ‘What is
your occupation; that is, if you have any?" And the
woman had replied that she was a traveler.

“Yes, 1 heard about that, and I also heard that the
woman gave the councilor а cup of good coffee and a
piece of freshly baked bread with butter and honey on
w”

“Is it true that the recluse was taken with a serious
illness and sent for a relative to nurse him?”

“That I don't know.”

“Who cares?”

A few days later, the reduse came out of his house
in an old leather suit and old boots brightly polished.
Then people remembered that (continued on page 124)

HE MOST
ШЕЕ AE
IEVER MET

humor By ART BUCHWALD his acne was rampant and his uniform

a mess, but this swinger had a secret ploy that made the girls surrender

AS ^ MAN who lives his sexual fantasies through his
friends, I have made a lifelong study of the tech
niques of others in the pursuit of ultimate physical
happiness.

The prize after all these years still goes to a
friend I served with in the United States Marine
Corps during World War Two. His name was
Dooley and we were stationed together at the Fl
Toro Air Base in Santa Ana, California.

Dooley was as unlikely a Marine or a swordsman
as you could find in the Corps. He was 19 years

old, suffered from an acne condition, was thin as
a rail, walked with a slouch and his uniform made
him look like a scarecrow.

We spent most of our liberty in Los Angeles,
with side excursions to Newport Beach, Hollywood
and Santa Monica. These trips in search of female
companionship and liquid refreshment proved
almost always productive for Dooley and almost
always unproductive for me. Inevitably, Dooley
wound up in the hay with a girl, while [ usually
found myself hitchhiking back to El Toro by

myself at three o’clock in the morning, trying to
figure out what the hell I had done wrong.

Except for admitting that he had scored, Dooley
never talked too much about his successes; and
after ten liberties, I was going out of my mind,
uying to discover what Dooley had that I didn't.
I will say right here, without bragging, that in
those days, I looked like a Marine, talked like
a Marine and, by all the laws of nature, it should
have been Dooley rather than me who kept
striking out.

One day I couldn't take it anymore and I said
to Dooley while we were g on the flight line
waiting for our planes to come back, “Goddamn it,
Dooley, how do you do it?”

"How do you do what?" Doolcy asked. rubbing
grease all over his trousers.

“How do you make it with the broads?”

Dooley stared down at his dirty fingernails and
said nothing.

"Come on. Dooley. Гт your buddy. Tell me
your secret. Last night, we both walked into the

MEDAILIDN BY BILL BRYAN

103

PLAYBOY

104

ar together, we met two girls together.
we both bought them drinks, 1 was twice
us amusing as you were, and yet at the
end of the evening. your girl wok you
wouldn't even let me
hell do

you tell them?
lay down outstretched on the
crete and shielded his eyes from the
sun. "You really want to know?"
You're damn right | want to know.”

"OK." said Dooley. "I'll tell you, but
only on the condition you never tell
anyone my secret. Do you promise?”

1 promise! 1 promise

1 tell them Im queer.
"What?
1 tell them I'm queer. 1 tell them 1
can't make it with them sexually."
How can you do that? You're a Ma-

ine.”

“That's just the point. 1 tell them it's
a secret. That I lied to get into the
Marine Corps.

“I still don't get it. Why would you
a stupid thing like that.

“Because almost every woman takes
pity оп a queer and decides its her
personal mission in life 10 make him go
straight.

"Oh, my God!" 1 cried. "I don't believe

“It’s (rue. I read it in a book once.
Some guy thought he was queer and this
older woman decided to prove to
that he wasn't, so she started taking her
dodies ull and, bam!”

"You couldn't get away with it,” 1
protested. "You just couldn't.”

“Well. 1 do.

"I don't believe you.”

"OK," Dooley said, "I'll tell you what
ГИ do. One of these nights, when we go
out, I'll take you along with me and you

Three weeks later, Dooley and 1 were
їп a bar in Santa Monica and before the
evening was out, we were sitting with two
secretaries from Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

Tc turned out that one of them had an

partment a few blocks away and Dooley
told the girls we had no more money to
spend. His girl suggested we go up to the
partment, which E, of course, seconded
were leaving the bar, Dooley
whispered, “Now, w:

Ti was а пісе or
with a large
facing cach other

Dooley's girl brought out the ice and
produced a boule of Scotch. Then she
turned on the record machine.

1 wied w kiss my girl, but she pushed
me away. "None of that stuft,” she said.
“We've only invited you up for a drink.
Then you have to leave."

Dooley just sat on the couch, staring at
his h

aparument,
nd two couches

the matter?”
nk 1 better tell you something,

hefore we get to be good friends,” he
said, biting his lip. “You sce, I like you
lot, but . . . but. . . .” He put his head
п his hands.

Dooley’s girl sat down next to him.
“Whats wrong?

He looked at her with large basset
eyes. “1 can't make it with a girl.”

"Were you hurt in the War
asked.

"No, its not that,” Dooley gulped
Christ, 1 wish it was. 105 just that I've
never heen able to make it with a girl.
Please, I better go.

His girl and my girl st Dooley.
My girl said, "You mean youre . .
you're... 2

"Yes" Dooley said. "You can say it
He hid his face in his hand
girl put her arm around his
shoulder. "Hare you ever tried?"

Dooley nodded his head. “Many times.
just no good. Maybe it has something
to do with my mother, She always
dressed me in girls’ clothes. I don't know
why. Nobody can help me."
poor kid,” my girl said.
be 1 could help you," Dooley’s
girl said.

Dooley tried to push her away. “It's no
good. Believe me. Let me go home. I'm
so ashamed."

Dooleys girl said. "Look at me. Just
look at me. Do you find me pretty?

“Yes, you're beautiful.”

“Do you find me sexually attractive?

^I don’t know. Oh, why are you asking
me all these questions?” Dooley cried,
trying to turn away from her

she

"I can

help you."

"t know whether to laugh or cry
as 1 watched Dooleys Academy Award
performance.

his girl said, "kiss me."

She put her lips
id held ther there

" she asked.

Dooley said.

“ALL right,” she said, "the next thing I
want you to do is open your mouth
when I kiss you
Why?" Dooley asked.

Don't ask questions. Just do as 1 tell

you.
Dooley opened his mouth and
kissed him. only this time, much longer.
1 was getting pretty excited and 1 put
my hand on my girl's thigh. She immedi-
atcly brushed it olf

blouse.
“Now,” she said, “put your hands on
my breast.”
No." Dooley said.
"Do as I tell you.
‘Then she took his h
her breast and held

No.
* his girl whispered.
| and put it on.
there.

“Does that feel nice? е asked.
“Yes, It does.”
“Now I'm going to release my hand

and 1 want you to r a p

Do you understand?”

"You want me to rub your breast
gently?”
“Ке, 1 kiss me at the same time

1м: berserk on my couch and 1

goin;

made a grab for my girl, who whispered
angrily.
thing.

Dooley’s girl had now unbuttoned her
ove her bra

‘Stop it. You'll spoil every

nd had ге
she

Dooley looked up at her. "Do 1 have

"Yes. vou do." She started shovi
Doolcy's head down to her breast

Dooley tried to fight it, but soon he
was kissing her breast.

"Now the other one.”

with you. Why is it different with you?
u're not queer, Dooley.” his girl
id. “Youre just afraid. Lets go into

«пей Dooley. “1 couldn't do
‚ Not the bedroom.
won't hurt you, Dooley. 1 promi
She lifted him olf the couch. lt will be
beautiful experience.
lead him into the bed-
ve right.
“I know I'm right,” she said. “Believe
in me.”

They disappeared i
and shut the door.

io the bedroom

пъ the

most moving thing 1 ever saw.
I said, trying to

pin her against the couch.
away from me. you animal." she
i both elbows into my face.
Why can't we do

jetting up from the

couch, “that’s from me.”
1 could hear т the
bedroom.
What's that to
They're doing it.”
Yes, but only because she's trying to

1 would have

c a man ош of him.
done the same thing.”

1 put on my jacket and grabbed. my
hat.

“Aren't you going to
she asked.
No.” 1 said. “Let the queer son of a

ай for Doo
le

bitch find his own way home.
s have gone by since
still

Twenty-five y
that excrudating evening. but it
remains vivid im my mind and 1
help thinking every time 1 drive through
Southern Califo that those
houses and apartments must be at least
200 middle aged housewives, all of whom
seaely believe that their ultimate
fice made a man ont of Dooley

article By DAVID HALBERSTAM

THE AMERICANIZATION
OF VIETNAM

a pulitzer prize-winning foreign correspondent’s eyewitness report on the disastrous side effects of our undeclared war
= —

says the narrator of Grah
Greene's novel about Vietnam, The Quiet American. " "You and your like are trying to make а war with the help
of people who just aren't interested."
“They don't want communism,’ Pyle, the American, answers
hey want enough rice; ” the “They don't want to be shot at. They want one day to be much
the same as another. They don't want our white skins around telling them what they want.
“H Indochina goes——
1 know thal . Siam goes. Malaya goes. Indonesia goes. What does go mean? II 1 believed in your God
and another life, Fd bet my future harp against your golden crown that in five hundred (continued on pag

PAINTING BY ED PASCHKE

hail the new year MCMLXX by turning your pad into a villa replete with provender, potables, costumes and decor

RUR

у 77 аа)

hm meme VESES

modern living want то меко iN on a
fresh idea for a year ? Then we
have just the thing, by Jupiter: ап an
tic take-off on Roma Antica, that swing:
ing citadel of the Caesars. Ancient Rome
of course, the center of Western
civilization some 2000 years ago and even
its most august citizens were noted for
throwing bacchanalian bashes that lasted
far into a fortnight. WI you'll prob.
ably want to limit your fete to one night
of uninhibited merrymaking, that's no
reason to cramp your Roman-style ban-
quet giving—as the photos on these
pages attest
So that your phalanx of fum seekers
will show up in appropriately wanton

moods—and costumes—begin by sending
out scroll-style invitation jouncing
the date and hour in Roman numerals
and stressing that mini- rather than
axi- togas and tunics, worn with lace up
sandals, are the order of the evening
(Give a prize for the miniest) Such
Augustan accessories as plumed army
helmets, gladiatortype broadswords aud
shields rented from a theatrical. supply
house will make your party look like a
Legion (Roman, that is) conven
However, if your guests have kinkier
tastes when it comes to costumes or
wish to put in an appearance dressed as
famous historical (wosomes—so much the
better. A topless Cleopatra borne aloft
in her sedan chair by four muscular
bodyguards would be accompanied by

Left: Its conspicuous-consumption fime, Ro-
mon style, os а gala crowd of revelers gathers
round the festive board to somple such
delicacies as roast pig and squabs with

herb sauce. Top: Two turned-on Neo-Etruscans
share their fruitful pickings with aplum.

APHY BY DON ORNITZ

A poir of conquering heroes soon forsake the
foodstufls and partake of more comely wores.

пу. Romulus, of course, would
team up with a girl garbed as Remus (the
wolf is an optional accessory), A saty

sponting fur slacks and ing pipes of
Pan. would undoubtedly insist that his

wood-nymph date wear nought but a sec

through gown.
Roman gods, 100, can be easily sum
wd up, A bearded, spear
ерине could be
а mermaid: and Mercury, the messenger
god of science and commerce (not to
mention rogues, vagabonds and thieves),
would wear al shoes and hat (and
perhaps make ой with someone's date).
In any evem, it’s doubuful that you'll
find it ext continued on page 240)

es the perfect ploy to keep her own co
about to render unto Caesar whot is С;

The unfozed loser of a fig4hrowing contest A horizontal hedonist pays homage to

makes the best of a ticklish situotion. Bocchus—with o little help from o friend.

A tempororily tuckered-out worrior is careful not to rest on his lourels
оз he enjoys some of the fruits of the evening's entertainment.
Two high-spirited hondmoidens ore making sure he gets the massage.

\

N Nh iim u No A

PLAYBOY

114

AMERICANIZATION (continued [rom page 105)

years there may be no New York or
London, but they'll be growing paddy
these fields. they'll be carrying produce
to market on long poles. wearing their
pointed hats. The small boys will be
ting on the buffaloes. I like the buffaloes,
they don't like our smell. the smell of
Europeans. And remember—from а buf-
falo’s point of view you are a European
too."

“They'll be forced to believe what
they are told; they won't be allowed to
think for themselves”

“ “Thoughts are a luxury. Do you think
the peasant sits and thinks of God and
democracy when he gets inside his mud
hut at night?

"You talk as if the whole country
were peasant. Whitt about the educate
Ате they going to be happy?

"Oh no, we've brought them up in
our ideas. We've taught them dangerous
games and that’s why we are waiting

here, hoping we don't get our throats
cut. We deserve to have them cut. I wish
your friend York was here too. I wonder
how he'd relish it”

There were not many reporters there
in the late summer of 1962, still just a

pdful of us (a few years later, there
would be 500, in true battalion strength),
we used to sit in the small French caf
and talk about Greene's book. It seemed
at that ne, and now more than ever.
the best novel about Vietnam. There
was little disagreement about his fine
sense of the tropics his knowledge of
the war, his intuition of the Viemam.
ese toughness and resilience. particularly
of the peasant and the enemy. Greene
seemed then to possess a far greater sense
than any French от American general. It
was only his portrait of the sinister in-
nocence of the American that caused
some doubt, that made us a little uneasy.
Greene inscribed his book with a quota-
ion from Byron: “This is the patent age
of new inventions / For killing bodies
nd saving souls / All propagated with
the best intentions.” Wasn't it too vulgar
а stereotype? Wasn't he too harsh? The
American Embassy publicaffairs ofhcer
was particularly bitter about Greene's
American: He called it an evil book.
made worse, he said, because it was so
effective, so slick. We were not like the
he said. We were there to help
namese: we would talk to them,
respect their decisions and their judg
ment.

That was not very long ago, but it
seems like light-years. It was the early

ties, and we had a handsome young
President and a Peace Corps: we were
proud of omselves and our egalitarian
tradition and we were ready to inflict
that tradition on the entire world. Tru-
ly, the eagle held both the olive branch
and the arrows: we were a great super-

power turning our good intentions and
our virtue toward the world. British
Power was slipping, French power
ready had been eroded by a decade of
honorable colonial adventures. This
was the American century. The old or
der. white master and colored servant,
would be replaced by a new one, Ameri-
ed, a partnership led by а great
power. at once sensitive to indigenous
drives and anti-Communist. Some of us
had worked in other arcas of the under-
developed world and we had
what we had seen. The Bel
raped the Congo and then, afier
pendence, had fled, leaving their dogs
behind. (Later. when the Bel һай
slowly begun to straggle back. one of us
1 said, “This is the first time 1 remem-
ber the rats coming back to the sinking
ship.") We knew the French had fought
two senseless wars with their colonies, and
we had seen Guinea, where in anger they
1 torn out all the telephones, let the
prisoners out of the jails and destroyed
all jail records. The British, of course,
measured up better by our standards
They had behaved better, had not fled
from any country, had left the natives
better institutions, armies, police forces
and telephone systems that almost
worked. But they had left behind no
love for the British or things British. We
cans were different; we were not
ist. we came not to stay but to
go. The Vietnamese would scc this and
recognize it. and. indeed, they did. "They

told us we were diferent from the
French ("Never believe anything any
Vietnamese tells you, includi

Nguyen Cao Ky, in one of his more
candid moments, once told American re-
porters). "There were only 15.000 Ameri
Servicemen in Vietnam in those days
and we identified with them. admired
their bravery and their idealism, their
courage and dedication in the face of
endless problems. We believed that they
represemed the best of Атас сап society
"They were intelligent, tough, idealist
Of course, we did not realize where it
was all heading, how short a trip it
would be from the jokes of those days—
Don't knock the war, it may not be
much, but it's the only one we've got —
to, a few years later, a stunned American
major looking at Bentre alter the Tet

ollensive and saying, "We had to destroy
the town to save it.” The French were
our particular target im those days. We

mocked them constantly, saying they had
managed to give the V the
worst of two cultures, laughing at how
they had taught the Vietnamese corrup-
tion and bureaucracy, joking about the
noon siesta, when everything stopped,
һе shops closed. the war came to a halt
Who had taught whom? we laughed. We
were pleased when the Viet

whores began to learn English instead of
French. We took the best girls in town,

i was happe
б were nicer tha

tench (and also had access to the PX
and the hair sprays). No wonder we
sensed in ihe local French a certain

distaste for us; indeed, a certain unex
pressed sympathy for the enemy. Alier
all, the Frenchmen who remained had
ties to the land; they had learned to
respect the enemy and his right to the
soil, But at the time, we mocked the
demeaned their military mis
ғ outpost system, the Maginot
line mentality, while every day repeating
their mistakes ourselves. Several years lat
er, it would come as no surpi
the American military commitment had
ed down and an American corre
Paris, asking a French for-
eign olhcial the unofficial view of the
r, received the reply, И is very much
like the divorced man who hears that his
lormer vile and her second husband are
about to get a divorce." Yet, if we knew
all the political failings of Saigon. all the
frustrat nd official mendacity, if we
admired the tenacity and the courage of
the enemy, we sill held out the hope,
sometimes a slim one. that we had some
thing to offer, that somchow a viable and
decent noi Vietnam could
be built, that namese in the
South could be spared the gray uniforms
and the rigidity of living in the toralitar
an North. We held to a basic belief in
American society, that the problems
could be solved. that our good intentions
could overcome Vietnamese duplicity,
French failures.

e wh

ns

Now we are both the initiator and the
victin of a hopeless, bitter war that has
le so many of our more com
fortable illusions about ourselves. We are
shorter of slogans now, less quick, Т
think, to mock the French or even the
is. Where once we had few doubis

tentions, American achievement, n
have more doubts about that capacity
with social problems, not just
America
Would you.” asks
one counterinsurgency expert who spent
five years in Vietnam, “want to hire ihe
United States as a consulting, firm
counterinsurgency anywhere else?” Са
ham Greene's book, now almost 15 vea
old. no longer looks like à caricature of
ourselves. We have become the carita
ture, not the book: rather, the book
abounds with a prophetic sense. WI
would guess that Pyle (the quier Ameri-
сап). in the book unable to cat Vietnan
ese food and preferring ап American
sandwich spread called Vit- Health ( ihe
meat—you have to eat carefully in this
. would be followed one day to

(continued overleaf)

at home

“Then one cold winter's night I said to myself,
‘What the hell am 1 doing up here at the North Pole with a bunch
of dumb-looking elves?” “

PLAYBOY

16

Vietnam by an American general named
Westmoreland, whose relationship. with
Vietnamese troops, according to his staff,
would be somewhat limited in part be-
cause his stomach was weak and he had
trouble eating their food? And who was
Pyle, the bad American, with his dreams
of decency? We all tried to guess his iden-
tity. Was he young Colonel E
dale, the CIA man who had starred in
The Ugly American by saving the Phili
pine? No, Lansdale was too minor
figure. How about Dean Rusk: no. Ме
George Bundy; no, Walt Whitman Ros-
tow; not even close. But here we have it
—Robert S McNamara, symbolizing at
once the decency, arrogance and naïveté
of the Americans. What could be more
arrogant, after all, than to commit thou-
ands upon thousands of Ameri
country whose name you cant even
pronounce? For McNamara is, above all,
decent; what more natural job for him
after the Pentagon than the World
Bank? Greene wrote of Pyle: "He didn't
even hear what I said; he xorhed
Jready in the dilemmas of democracy
nd the responsibilities of the West; he
was determined—I learned that very
soon to do good not to any individual
person, but 10 a country, a continent, a
world. Well he was in his element now,
with the whole universe to improve."
‘That was a very long time ago, Now
we have blanketed the country with our
men, our idc stitutions
failures. We have learned, 1 think, more
bout ourselves than about the Vietnam-
ese: it has been a dark journey, indeed.
iling to offer viable political ideas and
alternatives, we have continued to talk
of political possibilities, paciheatio
tion building, winning hearts
But we have responded in our |
bankruptcy with the most awesome fire-
power in the history of war: not just the
bombing of the North but, more horrible,
the regular bombing of the South, the
destruction of villages and hamlets, the
chasing of Vietnamese peasants from
their beloved land to detested urban
relocation centers (an encouraging sign.
noted one Ame political scientist,
for perhaps we can handle the politic
problem, all, we Americans are
urban society and we know something
about cities), We have talked about
tion building, but we have torn the
fabric of this society apart, created a new
s of the newly corrupt: “The moral
degeneration caused by the CI culture
that has mushroomed in the cities and
the towns is another malady,” wrote Neil
Sheehan of The New York Times late
in 1966. "Bars and bordellos, thousands
of young Vietnamese women degrading
themselves as bar girls and prostitutes,
ws of beggars and hoodlums and
children selling their older sisters and
picking pockets have become ubiquitous
features of urban life. 1 have sometimes
thought when a street urchin with sores

ind our

our

an

a-

covering his legs stopped me and begged
lor a few cents worth of Vieinames
piasters, that he might be better olf
growing up as a political commissar. He
would then, at least, have some self-
respect." The few genuine patriots on our
side watch the destruction of the city,
the escalation of corruption, with horror:
and, numbed by w taking place
before their eyes. they slowly withdraw
from the country. "Wi the
words of Professor Stanley Hoffmann of
1, 73 ig desolation and calling
it pacification.” Now we have replaced the
ench, created a new Americanized Viet
am in our image, Who was the political
figure we created and wanted to win the
election, who had served as our head of
n Cao Ky, whose
pan for an operation so
she would look less Asian, who would
meet with the elders of Vietnam and ga
their distrust by wearing а Westerner's
dark glasses—what, they wondered, was
he hiding? And how did he come to power
in Vietnam? Astride a water bulfalo By
ties to the peasants? By some great n
base in the countryside? No: because he
was the head of the air force and was
inty, young and proud and spoke good
English. We have remade Saigon in our
t even has its own little Penta-
s own heliport so that em-
bassy officials and military olhcials can
get back and forth as quickly as possible,
as few of the Vietnamese as possi-
ble). We have our own currency, our
own corruption, our own race problem,
our own drug problem, even our own
new technocratic scholarship, linked half
to the Pentagon and half to the campuses
(one of the new scholas. in a study
made for the Air Force, found that, yes,
the Vietnamese peasants liked being
bombed, didn't blame us at all, blamed
the Viet Cong for jt). We escalated the
prostitution in Vietnam, too. And what
did the Vietnamese call the little. road-
side whorehouses? Car Washes. Come,
wash your car, GI. ^ generation of Vict-
namese airborne and marine officers
bursting out of their tight uniforms,
speaking good English, verily good
American, “No sweat," they would say,
we kill Viet Cong bastards good" A
friend of mine, а very tough-minded
American who had been in Vietnam for
five years and spoke fluent. Vietnamese,
caught the local district chief stealing
thousands of dollars а month and. had
him transferred, much to the annoyance
f the newer American brigade com-
mander. The brigade commander com-
plained. The conversation went like this:

“How could you do this: how could
you criticize Captain Thung?”

“Because he's a crook and we proved
it

“But he spoke such good Fnglish. . . .

Over all these long years, we talked
our speeches not just of killing the ene-

my but of reclaiming the nation. But our
ive infusion of goods and products
clogging the ports did not create

new

dan of patriots, mot in Viemamese
terms, but created, instead. a generation
of cynical Vietnamese who smelled where

ihe money the ports. in the
construction business, im the sel
draft deferm

а province chi 000,000. pistes

а drivers license, 5000. It was not just
in was
uitionalized, a system that worked

from the top down. if not from the gen
erals themselves, then from their wives for
them. It was hopeless to punish the small
offender; he was a very small operator. а
peuy product of the systc
punish the corps comm indecd.
one honored them—corps commanders
controlled the opium trade and collected
from the bars in their area and sold the
division commanders their jobs; division

commanders shined the profits on tax
collections with the landlords. trucked
beer and supplies in and, of course, sold

the province chiefs their jobs and the
district chiefs their jobs. each of them
taking a rakeoff from the bars The
Americans udked about corruption but
could do nothing. Their presence, after
all had created it; their goods their
incompetence, their presentation of Halse
values had made it virtually mandatory
for Vietnamese to steal. If the Americans
cither had so much money or were fool
h enough to seem like they 1

so
much, the not oblige them and
ke it? It was, after all, preferable to be

ich and alive than to be poor and dead.
In late 1967, 1 asked one old friend how
, particularly for the
re they. what
This was basic to the
Vietnamese
al tainted,
ew Vietnam

like?
hopes—the old
were French tainted, cole
tired and corrupt: but the
exe would be Americanized, more egali
+: modern and ted. “The sons,”
re more corrupt than th
And the Americans,
were corrupt, too: It
ality of corruption. For the Viet
namese, it was a simpler and cleaner
kind of corruption, stealing а few goods
here and there, lying to the Americans,
abusing the countryman one notch f
ther down. For the Americ
subile and ins
They sat around and watched а
ated it; more often, they tried not to see
it. as if what they did not see did not
xis. They did not
pened only at the very lowest le

few young people im the International

more

Voluntary Services who knew too much
and e would resign
bur at the higher levels, the levels where

where
268)

have known more
(continued on pas

they should

КӨП (ИШИ SVIH

ug

EUROPEAN FASHION DAT ime

attire By ROBERT L. GREEN playdoy’s fashion director scouts ра

parts, st.- tropez, london and rome to report on new trends from the old world

PARIS: Near the Arc de Triomphe, two stylish boulevardiers make the balcony scene with a chic Parisienne. The elegonily
clad fellow at left wears o sueded-pigskin suit that features a four-bution tunic jacket with shirt-type collar, $315, worn over
a wool turtleneck, $24, both by Pierre Cardin. Our debonair strong-arm guy at right comes on in a ribbed wool knit zip.
front jump suit with convertible zip turtleneck and wide leg bottoms, $195, plus polished metal belt, $65, both by Christian Dior

of Euro

P

EARLY IN THE SIXTIES, а con
designers—Ied by F
fashioned the explosive styles
tually jolted American males out
of torial slumber. Today, of
course, Stateside clothing trends are still
strongly influenced by what's being show
cased in European boutiques and design

that ev

ard our shores we
recently took off for a fact-finding tour
ol the Continent ul England that
included extensive stopovers aris.
St-Tropez, London and Rom

Checking out areliers in the French

since
Dior, for
to the real knitts-

tty with a knit jump su «an be
worn with a polished. pelt. Yves
Saint Laur

a on the other hand, has
° from the armed forces

ST.-TROPEZ: On the French Riviera, fashion informality is the order of the day—and evening—for both sportive sun wor-
shipers and dedicated night people. The lucky lad above enjoying a position of eye-catching importance previews next sum-
mer's resort look; he's sporting an embroidered cotton tunic shirt with eyelet neck, $35, worn loose over crushed cotton
velvet flared-leg slacks, $30, and morocco-leather wide belt with brass eyelets, $14, all by Mayfair of Paris ond St.-Tropez. 119

ket Next summ, at St-Tropez and other on au courant sons of beaches over here
strands in the south of France. expect — In London, the best single style to catch
sualwear to reflect an increased air of our eve was the fresh. use of madras-
Cardin, continues to create attention- studied insouciance, Indian silk tunics, terial that garnered collegiate kudos in
geting attire that ranges from zippered crushed.velvet slacks and tight body our country a decade ago and then gradu
and belted outerspace tunics to con- shirts open to the waist will be the ally faded aw We predict that an
servative single brea flannels and coming sun season's fashion filips—and increasing number of colorful and con
tweeds m both suits and sports jackets. expect that similar gear will show up temporary madras suits will be worn

with a cotton duck belted bush je
suit à la the French Foreign L
France's emperor of elegance

Pierre

LONDON: Close by Grosvenor Square, o brace of unsquare bird fanciers boast o far-from-pedestrian look. The man at
left has on a two-button double-breasted twill suit with peaked lapels, $100, warn aver satin-striped cotton voile shirt with
double cuffs, $17, and woven-patterned wide silk tie, $10, all by Mr. Fish. His friend favors a madras two-button suil with
120 high-waisted trousers, $55, and datted cotton voile shirt with pointed callor and button cuffs, $10, both by Peter Golding.

throughout the United Kingdom as well shade of a suit or combines matehi a flattering long, narrow look that im
as in the colonies; England, it seems, shirt and slacks with a differenthued paris a sense of increased height

lost India but has regained madras. jacket. Fellow counnyman Valentino Now that you've got the word on whit
Three Malian designers —Massimo chooses t0 create suits, tunics and over- U. 5, boutiques will soon be stocking, take
i, Brun elli and Carlo Palazzi coats (some of the last trimmed h “айс at some of ihe

єп ой in a totally different d fur) tailored along stim uncluttered lines, specific patte loring de
ed at a coordinated look that All Italian designers, incidentally, have tails by pe tion. photos
les the shirt color with the been influenced by the “tube” silhouette on (his and the preceding pages.

ROME: Jus! a lion's throw from the Colosseum, two fashionable men go to bold new lengths as a means of weathering the
chilly Italion winter. The noble Roman at left prefers a dark-colored wool double-breasted maxicoat thot features a greot-
coat collar and sleeve cuffs of seal, patch pockets and deep center vent, by Valentino, $150. His compare digs a wool gab-

ardine fly-front maxicoat with shirt-style collar, slanted-flap pockets and deep inverted center pleat, by Carlo Palazzi, $200. 121
PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARV KONER

FOR CHEISTS SABE

done to Christmas.
Who is responsible [or ruining Christmas?

Religious people. of course. have an in-
мат. pop-up answer to that question.
Chrisimas was ruined by its "commercial-
ization.” By now. this argument is very
Christmas

not because of it.

PLAYBOY

Once upon a time.

hucksers admen
Then came the spoilers. Like Kin
ad's villainous soldiers, the sions of œm-
merce debauched everything. Driving the
vist child out of his manger, the greedy
moncy-ch sped. Christm
superheated) buying orgy. They
gooned people into stores. bl

things they didn't need,
drowned out the angel songs with shrill
ales pitches and completely took over
tended solely for prayer and

ng.

first. place.
ly drama

the Тапа. Ecclesi calcd
assets run into. the tens of. billions of

gest hucksters i

dollars—in buildin
gilvedged stocks
someone else of comme

Second, the

stale yarn of

removers eye.

the Christian goodies amd the pagan
baddies bears so lide resemblune t
the real history of Christmas it is sur
prising it has lasted as long as it has.

‘The truth is that the last week in De-
cember, the winter solstice was а pagan
festival time before Christ was born.
long before Christians decided to use it
Christ's birth. For most of
history, Christmas was a minor
id for a while, after the Refor
mation, it was not celebrated at all
Scotland and the New England Colonies,
The Plymouth i y
to work on December 25 10 demonstrate
their freedom from popish superstition.
Ever since it really achieved popularity,
in medieval Europe and 19th Century
America, Christmas has be
of disparate ingredie
churchgoing, wassailing, revelry,
i Ti has never been
c religious holy day the preach-
True, many pe E feel

to celebrate

Christ
holiday:

us
ich there occur more murders, su
«ides, personal assaults and psychotic
breakdowns than on any other. Christmas
ауз been a glorious admixture of
religion, paganism, hucksterism and con-
liy. That is not what's wrong with
c purely a reli
it would probably be worse.

No. The blame for despoili

mas lies nor with the hucksters, however
boorish they be. Christmas was

122 mesed up before they ever got hold of

тау

(continued рот page 117)
it. Ии was ruined. not Dy the cannibals
bu by th s the churches

that mu main responsibility
for the truth of Scrooge’s apt epithet
The churches are the ni
the rui ion ol Chri
churches, 1 do nor mean the ordin
churchgoers: I mean the people who
have led, or misled, organized Cl
ity during its rwo-millenninm4
The very fact that Christiani
survived is something of ade,
view of the way ecclesiastics have abused,
distorted, twisted and diluted the story
of Jesus for 2000 years. Only the persist-
emt power of his personality, which still
has а strange attraction. for us after all
these years of obfuscation, has prevented
Chri following Zoroa

n-

for religions that 1 to зау
to their cultures
The fraud, sham he pre-

Imes have made out of Christmas is, 1
init, only a symptom of the mockery
they have made out of Christianity as a
whole, m not saying every к
leader in the neatly 2000 years since
Christ's bith is culpable, Nor am I
Claiming that the churches alone are to
blame for reducing the birthday of Jesus
10 its present miserable state. What ] am
saying is that Christians bear the main
runt of the responsibility and, since 1
am a son of Christian myself, I think we
should be honest about it and not put
the finger on someone else.

How have the churches mutilated
ity amd, in the process, reduced
ber of

Christi
ristmas to humbug? In a nu
ways:

L. They have tried to make the story
of Jesus over imo a legend about an
eviscerated, bloodless ascetic and Christi-
anity isel imo а dreary lifcdenying
phi lespising abstemious-
ness. this has often been
linde ge in view of the
Biblical portrait of Jesus, On at least two
ону, the Gospels report that his

interest.

amd a winebibber." He frequented pa
jes, kept comp with notoriously
shady characters applied some
booze when an embarrassed wedi

reception host found he was running low.
1 wonder who drew those countless pic

schools of a pale, effete Jesus:
pictures have done more to destroy Jesus
than 100 of Herod's legions.

Someday, theologians may even have
the courage to speculate openly on an
aspect of Jesus Life th il now, has
remained strictly sub rosa: his rel
ship to women. If Je: s fully
well as fully God (which
an doctrine), then how did Jesus

ma

is orthodox

the man relate to women? As far as Т
know, only one contemporary theolo
an, Tom Driver of Union Theol:
у. has ever risked writing a
cle on this delicate, if nor taboo. subject
‘The speculation has been left to writ
such as D. Н. Lawrence and. playw
such as the contemporary Ве! dian
tist Michel de Ghelderode. Lawrence, i

his story The Man Who Died. equates
the Resurrection with the awakening in
Jesus of sensual desire. This loads entire:
ly too much symbolic significance on sex,
but it does help somewhat by taking
Jesus out of the eunuchs union, Chel

erode, in his play The Women at the
Tomb, has all the women Jesus met
during his lifetime—Mary Magdalene,
the woman taken in adultery, the woman
at the well, Mary and Martha and others
her in а shack near the site of the
Crucifixion and jealously rail at one ar
other about what he had meant to each
of them, The sensual aspect of many of
these relationships is made quite dea

and, furthermore. seems very natural,

OF course, Lawrence and Ghelderode
are merely guessing. The Bible itself says
nothing about the sexual aspects of Je-
it also says noth-
ing at all about what Jesus did between
the ages of 12 and 30, So storytellers rush
in where theologians fear to tread. And
the spirit of what they say may be closer
to the truth than the embarrassed eva-
sions of the theologians. In any case,
Jesus explicitly rejected the way of the
anchorite or the takir. He did
the desert with Joh ptist (though
he apparently toyed with the idea
time) nor did he join the puritanical
Essenes on the shores of the Dead к
Jesus was nol an ascetic. And the centu-
rievold effort of clerics, especially celi-
hate ones, to geld Jesus into а prissy
androgyne is one of the reasons Christ-
as today is a bamboozle. Who wants to
celebrate the birthday of a Fir Century
teetotaling Myra Breckinridge? š

The churches have also helped de-
stroy Christmas by turning С ity
> а peuyrule system and picturing
Jesus as a finicky moralizer who spent his
life telling people what not 10 do. This
clerical casting of Jesus as
cubmasier is an even w
the record than dressing him in the hair
shirt of an ascetic. Jesus came
world in some ways like ours, where, for
most people, religion had been reduc
10 a set of rigid rules to worry about and
а bag of ritwal Ilipfops to break open
when you transgressed them. Jesus him-
self spem his life breaking most of those

rapping

“impure” men and women, wand
and with no visible means of
support, sharply ridiculing the righteous
prudes of the day. When people did come
to him with moral dilemmas, he invari
ably tossed the qı
(continued on page 238)

`
lus

se v

sboos—violating the Sabbath,
with

THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS

tongue-in-cheek remembrances of sundry news makers who—in word or deed—made the headlines in’

By JUDITH WAX

Though docs said Buzz and Neil ond Mike
The moon trip made with ease,

There’s been one long-range side effect:
They hate the sight of cheese!

When it comes to showmanship
Thot Streisand’s an uncanny girl.
Her Oscar outfit wos so sheer

She could hove won for Fanny Girl.

John and Yoko's famous pose
Should faze no music lover,

For, naked though the Lennons ore,
The record's got o cover.

Said Prez to Secretary Finch:
“Look North, East, West and South, Bob,
And find a plastic surgeon who

Will take on Spiro's mouth job.”

Jumping boil's а big no-no.

Eldridge Cleaver, where'd you go?
North Africa or Cuba? Nice!

{Since Chino'd put your soul on rice)

Mrs, Meir’s ot the ready

When her country calls;

She's working on some homemade bombs
(They're Goldo's matzoh balls).

How ‘bout this for mind exponsion:
Hearth-bound Hef hos left his mansion.
What could make him face old Sol?
Would you believe o Barbi doll?

Strom Thurmond wed a sweet young thing,
Now life's not cold ond hugless.

He says, “Why not December-May?”
(Except for Justice Douglas.)

Tom and Dickie's TV scripts

The censor's nerves did shatter;

Which goes to prove, beyond а doubt,
A joke's no laughing motter!

She gove us Valley of Ihe Dolls

And though her fons salute her,

The Love Machine proved Miss Susonn
Is really o computer.

ILLUSTRATION BY BILL UTTERBACK

О. 1. Simpson got on offer,
Then the decl was sealed.
Now his pockets are so stuffed
He can't run down the field.

The queen, she loves her first-born prince,
Just like in foiry toles.

So when young Charles turned 21,

Mum up and gave him Wales.

Cesar Chavez led the strike,

And, though some called him brazen,
So bitter were the graping gripes,
We wouldn't buy o raisin,

Normon Mailer, gifted scribe,
Ron for moyor, and then,
Procaccino proved the pol
15 mightier than the pen.

De Gaulle insisted on a vote

And pulled his well-known rank;
But when the ballots all wero tolled,
Не was a fallen Frank.

When Hoyokowa faced the rebs
Fresh from his ivory tower,

He added some karate chops
To tamo'-shanter power.

They couldn't lock up Dr. Spock
For practicing his craft,

Since doctors everywhere agree
H's wise to shun o draft.

A mighty Fortas, thot was Abe,

In better days, before;

Like Riding Hood, he did misjudge
The Wolfson at his door.

Michael Buller, born to wealth,
Through Hair got rich-quick solo.
Some say his next hirsute pursuit
Is staging naked polo.

First Namath quit, then sold, then played
(And shed a tear or two).

It really mokes you wonder,

What's a working boy to do!

123

PLAYBOY

124

A RECLUSE (continued pon page 102)

his name Klaus. He was with
elderly dog, which he led on a piece of
rope. They entered the tavern, where
the recluse had (wo skis of mulled
cherry wine and the elderly dog sat by
him, looking astonished.

“Its the woman. said the tavern
keeper, and no one disagreed with him

How old was the woman?

She was not really so old, Dit years of
wandering through northern countries
look of age in her
ar, now that she had

settled comfortably into a place.
Every morning she said
"Мау I sta

to the гесине:
here, or must 1 continue my

travel
He would say: “Stay awhile longer."
She washed his dog, which was 12

years old and һай never been washed.

She persuaded the recluse to buy a
lively young hen that would soon gi
them eggs.

Not long after, she persuaded the re-
cluse to buy a she-goat that gave them
milk

She knew the fear that the recluse had
of change; but gradually, she began to
en and brighten things up.

H was а great for the woman
when the hen laid its first egg. She
brought it into the living room, where
the reduse was sitting,

ook. Klaus! The hen is laying!”

After a month or хо, eight furious
rdly visible through the frost of
ath, hauled sledge-
load of merci from th
capital, and а letter was delivered 10 the
house of the recluse.

"b have happened to hear that the
woman > t your house.
Tell her that 1 am willing to let her
come back to mine.”

To this invitation of limited cordia
the woman shook her head.
^I know the man who wrote this. He
s nor kind as you are and certainly
not so handsome. Besides, in my travels,
I never return to a place I have been
before

Well, then, under the circumstances,
1 would say it’s better for you to stay
here awhile.”

She said simply: “Thank you,” but her
voice was very definitely the voice of a
woman and she went directly into the
kitchen and brought him out several
thick slices of blood sausage.

The next day, she persuaded the re-
cluse to have his stove repaired, since it
ked nearly enough to suffocate them.

A Jew days later. she persuaded the
recluse 10 buy checkered curtains, red
and white, for the u

"Appearances are
Черге

He began to call her Nevrika, instead

of woman, and when he did that firs

led windows.

In her
Imost

her face turned almost. young
throat, there was a quiet sound,
like weeping.

A few days Euer, she wi ош onto
the streets with him and she walked with
her arm through his, nodding
to strangers but. making it ele:
was the woman of Klaus, who was no
longer a recluse.

Some days later. when she opened the
back door to call the goat in [or mi
a goose with its feathers glittering with
ice Hew into the house. Klaus killed
She plucked and stuffed and cooked ii,
and the meal was delicious and they
smiled at each other. shyly.

а yearly festival to
welcome the spring season was given at
the city hall

Nevrika urged Klaus to attend it.

He said to Nevrika: “You would have
to go, 100. and you haven't the proper
clothes for it, since all the dothes you
have are strips of cloth and Jeather that
you wind about yourself.

“It doesn't matter,” she said, “they
will understand.

And it seemed that they did.

‘At the festival, he drank several glasses
of fuming dark wine and when they went
home, she had to hold him straight
dissuade him from shouting,

On the way back to the house, a loose
tile fell from the projecting roof of a
twostory building and struck Klaus on
the head

“This is my end,” he shouted, but she
held him upright until his terror of the
injury, which wasn't at all important,
had passed away and they could go on to
the house.

Still, every morning. she would ask
May 1 stay here, or must 1 continue
my travels?

He never
said, "Stay awhile longe
Now, by this time. it was spring,
the solid. thick ice in the harbor, great
slabs of it, gray hifall, began to
move out to sea

Klaus 1 to the woman one mor
“L want to continue my life as it
before you came here

Her face turned old again. She was

as n

silent for a while. and then she asked.
n a whisper: “Have E done something
wrong?

He said; "You persuaded me to go out

to the festival and on the way back, 1
was hit on the head by a tile from the
roof of a building,

“Oh.” she cried
ile had st

how 1 wish the
1, not yours. ]

out,

yours, even il it had broken my skull like
the shell of an egg.”
The recluse interpreted this outcry as
a trick.
“Be tha
man, "it

as it may" he said 10 the
у head that it struck:

w

as

"Klaus, don't you remember it only
gave you a little cut, like а scratch, and 1
rubbed it with oim took the

ing out of it?
When accidents мап to Һарре
said the recluse, “there is no end to
One comes after another, till the

rool tall on vou
would take
you the accidents 1 1
travels”

“L don't want to hear
they're no concern of mine.”

She got up from her ch.
mouth open, as if to speak.

‘The recluse said: "Close your mouth.
There's nothing to discuss.”

She didn't sit back down. She put hi
collee cup back in the kitchen, and
when she returned 10 the livin
she circled about it, wringing her large
knuckled hands, now and then stopping

а day to tell
ve had in my

about ui

1 moment to look at his face, which
showed no alteration.
She staggered against the furniture

and once tell ro the Door, but the look
of his Lace remained as it was.
You'll think this over, won't vou?

“I have thought it over,” said the re
duse,
my life as it
Won't you have some more colle
I want nothing that you've prepare
in my kitchen; 1 want you to stay ont of
my kitchen today and I want you out of
my house by this evening.”

‘The room was dim, She leaned toward
the recluse to peer at his face with he
great bluish gray eyes.

No change in the set look of his face,
the face of a recluse.

She went on circling about the room,
her mouth op

If your mouth is open to speak, 1
advise you t0 close it, and you would
also oblige me if you wouldn't stalk
about the room, stari things w
atural eye

and 1 am determined to continue
before vou came here.”

a mandarin-nut

bake you
€ with sugar and cinn
on it^
lw

t you to stay out of my kitchen
with your pa ices.”
She sat dow

“Farther from mine.
he moved her chair twice before he
atished with its position.

Now and then, she would unn her
head a little to look at the lace ol (he

sc мор looking at me

arural eyes?”

plete the sentence and
(concluded on page 244)

BRING US TOGETHER

four concerned americans propose presidential initiatives
to heal the polar divisions between young and old, rich and poor,
left and right, white and nonwhite

ON NOVEMBER 7. 1968, the then President-elect paused in his victory statement to recall a campaign vignette
that he said had touched him. At the end of a long day of whistle stopping in Ohio, Richard Nixon said. he
had seen a teenager holding up a sign bearing the legend Brine us rocerHER. “That will be the great objective
of this Administration at the outset," he announced, “to bring the American people together." Reporters sub
sequently discovered that the girl with the sign had picked it up more or less to have something to carry. And
now, one year after his inauguration, many thoughtful Americans are wondering if the President didn't do
much the same with his slogan. In the four essays that follow, three dynamic leaders and one of the country's
most respected opinion makers assess the small progress Nixon has made toward the accomplishment of what
he said would be his first goal—healing the profound divisions of the American people—and suggest bold
ways in which he still might do so. Senator George McGovern, in Reconciling the Generations, outlines the
steps that the establishment must take if it is to recapture the respect of the young and calls for a renewed
dedication on the part of young idealists to the possibility of meaningful change within the democratic sys-
tem. In Sharing the Wealth, Cesar Chavez, the head ot the United Farmworkers Union, maintains that any
government will exploit its poor until they assert their humanity by developing economic and political inde
pendence. In Uniting the Races, Julian Bond—the charismatic young G: 1 legislator and civil rights lead-
er—focuses on the same concept: He insists that our varied minority groups must amass some of the power that
white America has monopolized for so long. and that the Federal Government must begin enforcing existing
egalitarian legislation if there is to be rz peace in this country. Finally, New York Times political analyst
Tom Wicker, in Forging a Left-Right Coalition. examines the social ideals that this country’s conservatives
and progressives hold in common and suggests that Presidential initiatives might swell this rivulet of shared
beliefs into a libertarian political mainstream. Together, the four articles comprise a blueprint for recon
ation. Translated into action by the Administration and the Congress, their recommendations would
enable the President, however belatedly, to make good on his pious victory promise to the American people.

RECONCILING
THE
GENERATIONS

By US. SENATOR GEORGE McGOVERN

WHEN 1 WAS TEACHING at Dakota Wesleyan University 15 years ago. the country w disturbed by “the silent
ation" of college students. Young Americans seemed to be fitting too easily into lives of personal gain
while ignoring the deprivations sullered by their fellow man abroad and at home. In the carly Sixties, these
misgivings turned to enthusiasm for the new activism of the you by an appealing young
President, youthful idealists seemed more moved by causes than by careers, more interested in the Peace
Corps than in the stock market, more attracted to adventure than to sell-aggrandizement.

Now the country is again in anguish over the conduct of its youth. The leaders of our Government
have branded some of the young as “new barbarian: tyrants” and “ideological criminals.” Those univer
sity officials who lay down a tough line on student disorder have emerged as minor political heroes. And
many Congressmen, especially those once concerned that Government would be too heavily involved m edu-
cation, now support legislation that would make university discipline a function of the Federal Government.

Explanations for the disenchantment of the young are sought everywhere. Psychiatrists and sociologists
are summoned regularly to Washington to explain the depredations of the morc demonsuative college stu
dents. We hear variously that the young are engaged in a subconscious search for authority or that they are

rioting because they hate themselves or their parents. I believe that the causes and complaints of most of our
younger citizens are neither so complicated nor incomprehensible. The majority of those young Ame
who are seriously at odds with our politics and our policies are moved by the same idealism that we hailed at
the | ing of the past decade. There is, of course, a small percentage who seem bent only upon an irvespon
sible rejection of all authority and discipline, including the discipline of personal elfort. This group includes
those who have been spoiled by affluence and permissiveness, who lack the strength to cope creatively with
the frustration that is inevitable in a pluralistic society. It also includes those so bitterly angered by the out
rages of our national life that they can по longer muster the patience to work within an ofttimes slow po-
litical and social process

Most importantly, however, there is а large group of young people who protest our present values
because they earnestly seek an improved world. They call not for the destruction of America but lor its
redemption. They reject violence as a tool of national policy abroad or as a means of bringing about chang
in our own society. They seek to square the practices of the nation with its ideals. Consider these words from
а young man facing jail for draft resistance: “Freedom is a heavy responsibility, which says to me that 1 must
actively oppose that which is destructive around me and at the same time build that which I feel is needed
I couldn't live with myself if I didn't live my beliefs.” Those are hardly the words of a barbarian or an
ideological criminal.

The new generation scorns hypocrisy and sham. Freed from many of the demands and trials endured
by their parents, the youth of this generation insist that the promise of America be fulfilled for all citizens
that we worry less about the ¢ tional product and more about the quality of our society. These young

yg Americans do not accept а scale of values that permits millions of Americans to (conlinued on page 1521

SHARING
THE
WEALTH

By CESAR CHAVEZ

HOW CAN WE NARROW the gap between the wealthy and the poor in this country? What concrete steps can be
taken now to abolish poverty in America? There are a number of things that President Nixon could do im-
mediately, if he wanted to. In terms of our own grape pickers' strike, he could tell the Pentagon to stop
shipping extraordinary amounts of grapes to Vietnam—the Government's most obvious tool in its attempt to
break our strike. And he could improve the lot of all the farmworkers in the Southwest—easily, under exist
ing legislation—by putting an end to the importing and exploitation of cheap foreign labor. The Immigra-
tion Service has allowed almost 500,000 poor Mexicans to flood across the border since 1965. Absorbing this
number of resident aliens would not be detrimental if they actually became residents, but most of these
workers return to Mexico after each harvest season, since their American wages go much farther there than
they would in this country. They have no stake in either economic or political advances here; it is the domes-
tic farmworker who wants our union, who wants better schools, who wants to participate in the political sys-
tem. Our poor Mexican brothers who are allowed to come across the border for the harvest are tools in the
Government's and the growers’ attempts to break our strike.

In the still larger framework of all the country's poor, President Nixon should acknowledge that the

War on Poverty programs of the Sixties have failed. The Office of Economic Opportunity pumped out
propaganda about "community action programs" through which the poor were supposedly going to have a
say in the solution of their own problems. Then, just as the communitics were organizing for meaningful
change through these programs, the money was suddenly yanked away. Washington seemed to realize that if
it lived up to its rhetoric, it would actually be encouraging real political participation and building real
economic power among the poor, and got cold feet. The Government and the power class will never allow
their money to be used to build another power class—especially if they are convinced, however wrongly, that
their own economic security and self-interest would be jeopardized.

It might be expected for me to propose that the anti-poverty programs be continued—but with better
financing and with complete control over them given to representatives of the communities and the people
involved. I could also plead for the money that has been spent in the past few ycars on anti-poverty programs
to be simply distributed among the poor. But neither of these sensible alternatives is going to come to pass
under ап Administration that made it perfectly clcar last fall that it intended to channel all Federal funds
through local governments, no matter how corrupt.

Nothing is going to happen until we, the poor, can generate our own political and economie power.
Such a statement sounds radical to many middle-class Americans, but it should not. Though many of the poor
have come to sec the affluent middle class as its enemy, that class actually stands between the poor and the
real powers in this society—the administrative octopus with its head in Washington, the conglomerates, the
military complex. It's like a camel train: The herder, way up in front, leads one camel and all the other cam-
els follow. We happen to be the last camel, trudging along through the leavings of the whole train. We see
only the camel in front of us and make him the target of our anger, but that solves (continued on page 252)

127

128

UNITING
THE
RACES

By JULIAN BOND

THIS COUNTRY, which was "discovered" by white men over 400 years ago and "founded" by them in 1776,
always was and still is, in the eyes of most of its citizens and rulers, a white man's heaven. In The Federalist
papers, John Jay wrote, "Providence has been pleased to give this one connected country to one united
people . . . a people descended from the same ancestors, speaking the same language, professing the same
religion, attached to the same principles of government, very similar in their manners and customs." Under
Jay's philosophy, black men were designed by Providence to work for white men; Indians, who were un
suited by Providence to be slaves, had to be exterminated; апа Mexicans, being neither Indian nor black,
became cultural enemies holding territory that the expansionist white man coveted. America gave birth to
the rhetoric of democracy while it breathed life into what became institutionalized racism. European immi-
grants came here to escape oppression and their young became oppressors.

"The record of domestic imperialism waged by white America is matched by a history of varied response
from its nonwhite victims—a history of militant resistance, of separatist movements and of quiet. heroic
struggle—all aimed at getting the white man’s foot off the nonwhite's neck, the white man's noose off the red
or black or brown throat. That rebellion has been bloody, as were the uprisings of Denmark Vesey and Nat

"Turner; and it has been nonviolent—employing oratory, petition, marches, the ballot, the courts and civil
disobedience. Now, as we enter the Seventies, it has returned to violence and to blood.

‘The history of that rebellion is not exclusively black. "Are we not being stripped, day by day, of the
ittle that remains of our ancient liberty?" challenged Tecumseh, a Shawnee Indian. “Do they not even now
Kick and strike us as they do their blackfaces? How long will it be before they tie us to a post and whip us
and make us work in a cornfield as they do them? Shall we wait for that moment or shall we die fighting
before we submit to such?" As usual, a moderate in the crowd answered Tecumseh by saying, "Let us sub-
mit our grievances, whatever they may be, to the Congress of the United States." This debate took place in
1812. Whichever side prevailed in that particular dispute, the cause of justice did not—if the present condi-
tion of American Indians is an indication.

Today, those same rebels—blacks, Spanish-speaking people, Indians—still fight against white provi
dence. Tecumseh’s call to violence still rings out in modern ghettos, barrios and reservations. It is heard be-
cause nearly 200 years after the “founding fathers" proposed to dissolve Americans’ differences in a melting
pot, the only thing that remains unabsorbed is us—and our skins. So we no longer wish to melt, to be
absorbed, to fit in, to join up, to swim in the mainstream. What black people—and Spanish Americans and
the original Americans—do want is a share of the goodies they see so abundantly spread around them. We
want to have the opportunity to live a decent life. That means a life supported by a family income that
more than barely at the poverty level. It means a life in which education and jobs are guaranteed. It means
a Ше in which police are compassionate public servants, in which storekeepers are not avaricious, in which
politicians at least approach honesty.

We have won some small victories. We now have free access to restaurants (concluded on page 154)

FORGING
R LEFT-RIGHT
COALITION

By TOM WICKER

IF ISN'T EASY TO KNOW, these days, just what is happening in American politics. This dawned on me as early
as 1966, when I covered the campaign of Robert Scheer, the New Leftish Ramparis magazine editor, who
was then running for Congress—in the Democratic primary—from the Oakland-Berkeley district of Califor-
nia. Scheer, an outspoken anti-war candidate, was not running against some right-winger nor cven against a
Republican Babbitt but against Representative Jeffery Cohelan, a liberal New Dealer who had had a 95 per-
cent voting record in the ratings of the Americans for Democratic Action.

In those days, like almost everyone else, I thought left was left and right was right, and the center got
clected. So I was surprised, the first time I heard Scheer speak, to hear him deride Hubert Humphrey and,
when I talked to him privately, to find him express admiration for Barry Goldwater—who, as hc put it, was
“at least an activist." But as I became more accustomed to the New Left, I found that it had a strong rhe-
torical resemblance to that radical right with which the nation had become acquainted in 1964. Both flaunted
moral appeals, denounced liberalism, constantly alluded to patriots and traitors and held the passionate con-
viction that they, and not the parties in power, were the true guardians of “the American dream."

Goldwater and the right-wingers, everybody used to say, “oversimplified the issues.” But here was the

New Left with such slogans as “Withdraw troops—end poverty." Goldwater set off a national spasm when he
declared that ‘extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice and moderation in the pursuit of justice is no
virtue.” But six years and a lot of riots and demonstrations later, it is perfectly obvious that the New Left,
the militant blacks, the SDS and thousands of unaffiliated but “radical” youngsters all over the country agree
with Barry, no doubt to dismay.

What links the New Left and the radical right more than rhetorically is the genuine revulsion of each,
on differing grounds, against the post-Depression, post War order of things in America—against what each
calls, with unlimited contempt, “the liberal establishment.” And since the Federal Government is both the
heart and the good right arm of the liberal establishment, in all its works from civil rights to “world respon-
sibility,” it is more nearly the Government than any other single force that unites—in opposition—the ex-
tremes of American politics. Whether, on the onc hand, it is the war in Victnam, the military-industrial
complex and J. Edgar Hoover, or, on the other, high taxes, Government spending and a no-win policy
abroad, it is the Devil's doing, and the Devil lives in Washington.

What is most interesting about this is that it is beginning visibly to affect the center, which really does
live in Washington. Analyze, for instance, the substance and origins of the Nixon Administration: Its obvi-
ous, isn't it, that the instrument that returned the Republican Party to power after eight years of John Ken-
nedy and Lyndon Johnson, the New Frontier and the Great Society, is bound to be the darling of the
Republican establishment, the creature of Wall Street and “the interests”? But the Nixon Administration is
by no means establishmentarian, in the sense that an Administration headed by Nelson Rockefeller or even
Humphrey would have been. It has little truck with Ivy League businessmen, the big Wall Strect law firms
(other than Mr. Nixon's own), the New York Council on Foreign Relations, Philadelphia's main line or even

129

130

the kind of respectable civil rights organizations that
used to have white presidents. Mr. Nixon's Admin-
istration is more nearly a product of the new revul-
inst that kind of establishment; it is an
tration of Midwestern bankers and manu-
facturers, West Coast advertising executives, new-
rich Southern construction magnates, managerial
types and ex-gubernatorial politicians. The major
object of its concern is the middle-class, middle-
income suburbanite. Mr. Nixon himself—nondescript
college, Western origins, sports jargon, middle-class
manner, earned wealth of recent origin—is its per-
fect symbol. Yet this Administration, product though
it may partially be of the new politics of revulsion,
is also staunchly and traditionally Republican in its
defense of free enterprise and the value of the dol-
lar, апа it maintains tenaciously the basic post-War
liberal-establishment doctrine of a powerful military
stance and а hard line against communism. All the
lines seem to be crossed nowadays.

Nor is it only the Nixon Administration that ex-
hibits a split—or at least uncertain—personality in
the new political atmos-
phere. Eugene McCar-
thy ran for President
with the avid support
of thousands of young
people like those who
turned out for Bob
Scheer in 1966. Yet in
recoiling from any low
attempt to woo partic-
ular groups of voters—
blacks, for example—
with tailored appeals
to their interests. and
passions, and in dis-
daining the clichés of
mainstream politics, McCarthy resembled Goldwater
in style more closely than any other recent Presiden-
tial candidate, despite their substantive differences
on issues and even though Goldwater fulminated
against intellectuals while McCarthy, in Oregon,
claimed that the better-educated people were voting
for him. There is some evidence to suggest that Mc-
Carthy's romantic appeal as an individualist unafraid
to challenge big institutions such as the Democratic
Party and the Kennedy family brought him some
support {тот those who had previously found such
qualities only in Goldwater. And where Goldwater
openly attacked the Governinent, save the Pentagon,
from stem to stern, McCarthy's subtler criticisms of
the Government, including the Pentagon, brought
from Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr., the ultimate indict-
ment that he was running against that establishment-
liberal icon, the powcrs of the Presidency.

Robert Kennedy, on the other hand, took the
establishment-liberal line on Presidential activism,
wooed the ghetto madly and, in his own inimitable
style, sought the support of illiterates and intellec-

tuals alikc. But he, too, was revulsionist in his attacks
on thc welfare system, in his calls for greater com-
munity responsibility and local self government, in
his recognition that the big labor unions are no
longer engines of reform, in his apparently growing.
mistrust of overbureaucratized and underfunded
Federal programs, no matter how worthy of purpose.
Mr. Nixon's campaign exhibited about the same
proportion of revulsion and tradition that his Ad-
ministration now displays. George Wallace was, of
course, the most outspoken revulsionist of the cam-
paign, although his focus was far narrower than Mc-
Carthy's or Kennedy's, or even Nixon's. Of all the
major 1968 contenders, Rockefeller and Humphrey
seemed most nearly tied to the liberal-establishment
line, which suggests its essentially bipartisan nature.

To some extent, the new revulsionism has been
complicated by the semantic confusion of American
political history. In the post-Rooscvelt period, a
"liberal" came to mean one who was in favor of
strong Federal action to achieve desirable ends—say,
the minimum wage—that didn't seem attainable
by any other means.
But over the years, this
once-pragmatic attitude
hardened into dogma;
Federal action became
the accepted—al most the
only acceptable—means
of proceeding, a devel-
opment that was sped
along in an ascending
spiral by the consequent
atrophy of state and lo-
cal government and by
Washington's swift prc-
emption of the major
sources of revenue. Lib-
erals of this breed became, all too often, dictionary
conservatives with a philosophy actually based on a
new kind of traditional and social stability, stressing
established institutions and preferring gradual devel-
opment to abrupt change. The New Dcal, in short,
became orthodox, and the New Dealers became the
dominant center of American politics, rcaching
their peak of power in the Johnson landslide of 1964.

On the other hand, those who came to political
activity long after the Depression-ridden Thirties
and World War Two, and who found in the liberal
establishment not only an outdated political ethic
for automated and affluent post War America, not
smothering intellectual orthodoxy but also
a dangerously autonomous and unresponsive bu-
reaucracy, were often textbook liberals. "That is,
they were open-minded in the observance of tradi-
tional forms and concerned about the autonomy of
the individual. But many people who had, for large-
ly selfish economic reasons, opposed those errone-
ously known as liberals had pre-empted the term
"conservatives," so that (continued on page 140)

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BILL ARSENALLT

“Well, 1, for one, like to think that Christmas still has
some redeeming social importance.”

131

PLAYBOY

132

suffer malnutrition while we spend bil-
lions of dollars on an ill-conceived new
ballistic missile system. They find it
derstandably irrational to ofer their
lives to save a political regime in Saigon
that does not have the respect of its own
people.

In the best sense, the values of our
young people are still the values of their
parents. They have, however, the free-
dom of the young to press for those
values without diluting or compromising
them. The constraints of age, of job, of
family do not weigh so heavily upon
them. Recognizing that an age of rapid
change is even more painful for parents
n for their children, we ^ 5
perately need to hear the frank, some-
times harsh but usually honest
of our young people.

Unfortunately, adult America seems
increasingly baffled by its young—by
their hair styles. their loud. music, their
willingness to take grievances into the
streets, their refusal to be wedged into
roles they don't believe jn. Frank-
ly. I am not yet prepared 10 accept all of
the youth rebellion, nor am I sure that
its end product will be totally construc-
tive, that its final influ
tional policies will be entirely beneficial.
But 1 believe 1 understand some of th
things that are bothering young Ameri
cans today—because they are bothering
me. The causes and complaints of most
young dissidents are just. We would do
well to heed their pleas, to listen to what
they are saying and to remedy the injus-
tices they are pointing out so vehemently.
We can hardly profit from the idcalism of
the young if we systematically exdude
their views from our political life and our
national policies. And we must avoid at
all costs what one writer has called “a war
against the young.” For, as Fred Dutton
of the California Board of Regents has
correctly observed, “A society that hates
its young people has no future.”

In the developing discontent of the
young, no factor has been more impor
tant than the war in Vietnam, It is no
coincidence that the age group most
strongly resisting the war—an estimated
25,000 young men are now actively re-
fusing induction and some 5000 have
virtually renounced citizenship to seek
sanctuary abroad—is the same age group
that is sustaining the heaviest casualties
in the war, More than 40,000 have died
over 200,000 have been wounded: m
lions of others are racked by doubts and
fears about the validity of our war policy
and about what it holds for them.

The draft is a further focus of discon
tent. As now structured, it excuses those
who can afford higher edu ly
for a period long enough to allow 1
group to opt out of a particular conflict
Ihe students themselves recognize the
inequitable burden this places upon the

(continued from page 126)

poor and the less academically able. And
they recognize that local boards adminis
ter the draft according 10 their own

whims; the Selective Service regulations
are too often used as a means of punish-
ing dissent.

"The arms race is another cause of
student unrest. This generation has been
reared through the years of the Cold
War. They have seen the splitting of the
Communist world; they have endured
the “balance of terror” and they now
wish to turn away from an international
situation in which stability is maintained
by threats of mutual annihilation. They
understand that we haye reached a point
at which the simple addition of arms and
bombs no longer guarantees security
that such mindless escalation of the arms
race means only the loss of security. The
young people of this country feel that
the ume has come for public dollars to
be spent on crying domestic needs, rath
er than on foreign intervention and oí
new methods of destruction. They under-
stand that only by strengthening the
fabric of our own society will we increase
‘our ultimate national security.

‘These perceptions are, of course, not
limited to the young But the young,
especially during the national elections
of 1968, provided much of the cnergy
necessary to spread these ideas through-
out the national electorate. It has become
obvious to nearly everyone by now that
political and social reforms are necessary,
But the longer needed reform is delayed,
the longer we turn away from our young
people and their concerns, the greater
the chance that their idealism and act
ism will turn to cynicism and hate.

Students themselves, however, must
Dear a share of the blame for the growing
alienation of the older generation. It is
the naïve assumption of some young radi-
cals that а flamboyant, if not violent, con-
frontation with authority will somehow
destroy that authority. But as the news
pictures of confrontation at Cornell and
elsewhere have gone across the nation, the
fear and anger of adults have served only
w harden the insensitive authoritarianism
that student radicals hoped to destroy. Аз
the publics hostile reaction to student
takeovers spreads, the willingness to re-
form diminishes. The use of violence by
either side in а confrontation is seized
upon by the other as the justification for
counterviolence. "Together, they divert
attention to violence rather than.
to its causes. Most tragically, the univer-
sity. which should be a dynamic commu-
y of scholars and a testing place for
ideas. becomes paralyzed.
mar Myrdal, the Swedish social sci-
entist whose early diagnosis of America's
racial problems is still among the most
warned: "Phe danger in
iolence is that after
for law and order, And throughout histo

ry, law and order has been a pretext for
not making the fundamental reforms
needed.” In the early stages of urban
ghetto rioting, it was thought by some
that such disorders, despite their ugliness
and destruction, would awaken America
10 the needs of the cities. While the riots
did produce a commission that recom
mended a massive national commitment
to eradicate urban blight and racism, the
country's answer to Watts, Harlem, De.
пой and Newark has been continued
The swiftest response to
urban riots has come from the Pentagon,
which, without public debate and vir
tually without public notice,
more than $300,000 10 monitor ur
irouble spots. Army counterintelligence
personnel collect inforn n our cit
ies to support contingency plans aimed
andling simultaneous riots in as many as
25 cities. Intelligence surveys have already
been made on college campuses. Congres
sional committees have conducted stre
ous investigations of student organizations
they suspect of being subversive.

The lesson of the nation’s response to
urban disorder should not be ignored by
students who believe that force will
bring an end to the ailments of our soci-
ety. Young Americans should recognize
that it makes little sense to condemn
violence in Asia while precipitating, it
on campus. It makes no sense to chal
lenge the political demonology of Amer
ican leaders who believe in a monolithic
Jommunist conspiracy while construct:
ing an equally simplistic demonology
of American politics. It is simply untrue
that all our institutions are evil, that all
adults are unsympathetic, that all politi-
ns are mere opportunists, that all as
pects of university life are corrupt. Having
discovered an illness, it’
ful to prescribe death as a cure

Unfortunately, students and you
tivists have learned a good deal from the
example of their elders. What are we ıo
say about the importance of restraint
and the peaceful resolution of differences
chen we have unleashed unspeakable
jolence and horror on the people of
Vietnam? Or, again, we condemn
is disorder, but what of the authorities
who have retaliated
lence? We saw this
summer of 1968
the University of California. Over the
»nocent issue of a park, a young m
in Berkeley, and others were in
jured by shotguns, beaten in the streets.
sprayed with toxic gas from military heli-
copters. The rampage of official violence
demonstrates that many of our leaders
do not believe in the peaceful democrat
process: rather, they see the resolution
of dispute turning on who has the most
troops and guns and is most ready to use
them.

The question we must ай
whether there will be а revolution among

{continued on page 266)

lace is not

AN ITALIAN WESTERN FILMED IN SPAIN WITH AN OUT-
THE TEE OF-PAWN JAPANESE CAMERA USING SUBSTANDARD
EXPOSED POLISH FILM, PROCESSED AND EDITED COUR-

TESY OF A REXALL DRUGSTORE IN POUGHKEEPSIE, NEW

l YORK, BASED ON A LUKE SHORT SHORT STORY FROM

THE ANNUAL LUKE SHORT SHORT STORY ANNUAL AND
AND THE PRODUCED BY THE UNITED STATES TREASURY DEPART-

ll MENT AS A TAX LOSS.
CAR C PEPPERONI, NEW MEXICO, A TYPICAL LITTLE WESTERN

STARRING FRONTIER TOWN THAT HAS ALL THE CHARACTERISTICS
OF ANY TYPICAL WESTERN FRONTIER TOWN ... THE
BLACKSMITH SHOP, THE LIVERY STABLE, THE WELLS
FARGO OFFICE AND THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA.

RIGATONI

HAS TAKEN

OVER THE
GARLIC
MINE,

GARLIC ON YOUR
BREATH, YOUR
KISSES MOVE

MORE.

DIRECTED BY HARVEY KURTZMAN * PHOTOGRAPHED BY MARIO CASILLI • SCREENPLAY BY SOL WEINSTEIN AND DICK MATHEWS

GENOCIOE AIN'T MY BAG, BUT
NEVERTHELESS, IT BEHOOVES ME,
AS А MORALISTICALLY MOTIVATE
ANTI-HERO. TO BLAST ALL OF YOU
GARLIC JUNKIES TO THAT BIG
PIZZERIA IN THE SKY.

THE LICE-
RIDDEN
PONCHO,
NOW THAT
YOU'VE
DONE YOUR
BEST TO
STOP THE
POPULATION
EXPLOSION,
TURN
AROUND.
SLOW AND
REACH
FOR THE

-SO THEY MADE YOU
SHERIFF BECAUSE YOU'RE THE
ONLY ONE LEFT WHO CAN КЕЕР
THE EVIL BRUTES OF PEPPERONI
IN LINE, EH?

GOOD TOWN’. . . BAD PEOPLE, >.

HMMMM, 'PEARS ТО BE А

BASICALLY A GOOD TOWN.

SORRY,
SHERIFF, MA'AM.
I'D LIKE TO
OBLIGE, BUT NOT
ONLY AM | ANTI
HERO, I'M ALSO

ANTI-SEXUAL?
IN AN ITALIAN WESTERN?
GALLOPING GNOCCHI, FOLLOW
ME INTO THE BARN, YOU
BOTCHED-UP BOCCIE BALL.
IT'S TIME THE LAW WAS
LAID DOWN FOR
YOU.

CUT THE PALAVER
ANO DO YOUR THING, YOU
MANGY MANICOTTI! LIFT
ME TO THE FEAK OF VESUVIAN
VOLUPTUCUSNESS! IN OTHER
WORDS, LET'S MAKE
LAVA!

BUT FIRST,
LET ME RIP
AWAY THAT

PONCHO FROM
YOUR FREAKY
FRAME,

DONT TOUCH
MY PONCH—

POOR GAL. qu

SHE DIED O' CURIOSITY. ia
WELL... THAT'S THE WAY k:
THE STELLA-D'ORO b

CRUMBLES.

" WHAT'S
ч АМ HOMBRE
1 / LIKE YOU DOING
Up ШЕ NA WESTERN
FIREWATER? M LIKE THIS?

ME WANTUM
^ ROB ROY,
STRAIGHT UP,

WITH À
TWIST OF
LEMON,

А BUCKET OF WATER
FOR MY HORSE, A BOTTLE OF
CELLA LAMBRUSCO FOR ME AND A
DOZEN LICE FOR MY PONCHO.

YOU'RE
NEW HERE,
STRANGER. IF | WERE
YOU, l'D HIGH-TAIL IT
OUT OF TOWN

THE JUKE-
BOX AND

THE CIGA- š
RETTE MA- \
CHINE.
A,
T
| /
4 A

—WESTERN?
HEAVENS! I THOUGHT THIS.
WAS WHERE THEY WERE FILMING
MY LATEST FLICK-HERCULES
GOES HONO. BY THE WAY, CAN
I BUY YOU A PINK LADY?

THIS JOINT
IS CRAWLING
WITH HOTTEN
RIGATONI'S MEN
AND THEY KILL
AT THE DROP
OF A HAT.

LETS
JUST SEE
WHAT
HAPPENS,

LOOK, SANTOS. SOME STRANGER
DROPPED HIS HAT. | RECKON WE'D
BETTER START SHOOTIN’!

HERE COMES
EXCEDRIN HEADACHE
NUMBER 28!

MAH-RONE! YOU'RE NOT GOIN
TO SHOOT IT OUT WITH HIM?
| @1 HE'S FASTER ON THE DRAW

TARNATION,
GARAGIOLA . . HOW MANY
TIMES HAVE ! TOLD YOU TO BANG
FIRST WHILE I'M KNOCKING . . . UH,
1 MEAN, KNOCK FIRST WHILE
I'M BANGING! WHAT
IS IT?

| THAN SAMMY DAVIS JR.

Y ў I'M TOO
[id SMART FOR THAT,

NAMELESS EMO
MAN IS IN
TOWN! WHY
HAS HE BEEN
TRAILING YOU
FOR 20 YEARS?
IS |T BECAUSE
YOU KILLED
HIS МА AND
PA AND
RAPED HIS
OLD
GRAND-
MADRE?

JOB FOR YOU. ¥
LURE THE NAMELESS
MAN UP TO YOUR

WORK
THE VIA
VENETO
SIX
YEARS
FOR
NOTH-
ING!

"DEAR ABBY:

WHY IS IT THAT EVERY TIME

I'M ON THE VERGE OF SEXUAL
FULFILLMENT—

WORSE
THAN THAT,
GARAGIOLA.
YOU SEE, | ALSO
TOOK THE
FAMILY'S RIGHT
GUARD. .LEFT
THEM DEFENSE-
Li

1
APPRECIATE
THE LASCIVIOUS-

NESS OF YOUR

KNOW HOW TO
HANDLE YOUR-
SELF, HANDSOME :

ee OFFER: MAAM, BUT
TRANGER, BUT
БЛ, RIGATONI IS DEAD,
WHY DO ALL YOUR
I VE SWORN TO
GUNSLINGING
й CURTAIL ALL TAIL
SALES WHILE ON THE
BETTA WITH

CONCETTA? TAIL.

s Era

TA De OH, SOCK IT TO ME, YOU

D Lp? LANKY LINGUINE. ...BUT WHY DO YO!

WEAR YOUR PONCHO, YOU MALODOROUS MOUND OF

MUSCULATURE? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING UNDER

THAT LICE-RIDDEN PONCHO? YOU BLUSH
FOR CONCETTA TO OBSERVE HOW

YOU ARE APPOINTED?

MAW ДОЛЕ

PIZZA STAND

PIZZAS. PLAIN — 100 LIRE
WITH EVERYTHING ——75 LIRE

NO, NO,
YOU STACKED
SICILIAN
SPUMONI...
DONT
TOUCH MY
PONCH—

VIOLENCE SHORE

DO WHET A MAN'S

APPETITE. BUT THIS

PIZZA JUST DON'T

MAKE IT. WHAT'S
ON IT?

SORRY.
CONCETTA,
BUT ALL
MY
APPOINT-
MENTS
ARE
PRIVATE.

"ОО NOT FORSAKE МЕ,

MAYONNAISE? OH, MY DARLIN

THAT'S 50...50
GOYISH! RECKON
IF THIS TOWN'S GONNA
HAVE LAW AND ORDER AND
GARLIC AGAIN, IT'S TIME
FOR MY SHOWDOWN
WITH ROTTEN
RIGATONI.

You
CAN
BET.
YOUR
COJONES
THERE'LL
BEA
KILLING
BEFORE
HIGH
NOON,

ALL RIGHT, YOU N
DIRTY GARLIC PUSHER, MY) d НА, HA, HA, NOT
20-ҮЕАН ODYSSEY OF REVENGE TO MENTION THE MINDLESS
/ !S OVER. NOW I'M GOING TO SETTLE ANARCHISM OF THE NEW LEFT.
ALL OF SOCIETY'S SCORES AGAINST _ V THE REVANCHIST TENDENCY OF THI
YOU. .. THE INCREASED INCIDENCE OF NEO-NAZIS IN GERMANY, THE POOR
CRIME IN THE URBAN GHETTO, THE | GROSSES FROM DORIS DAY'S LAST
GENERATION GAP. THE POLLUTION OF OUR | THREE PICTURES AND, LAST BUT NOT
SKIES AND STREAMS, THE LABOR / LEAST, THE DEFEAT OF BOB GIBSON
DEFECTION TO WALLACE, THE IN THE SEVENTH GAME OF THE
LIBERALIZATION OF THE CATHO- 68 SERIES" NOW—SLAP
LIC CHURCH IN REGARD TO LEATHER!
BIRTH CONTROL—

TARNATION, MIAI |
MY GUNS ARE
STUCK!

A BUT
HA, НА! Н ONE FINAL
YES, _ HUMILIATION.
THEY ARE, YOU SEEM TO
THANKS TO 2 HAVE А $ЕСНЕТ,
EXTRA-THICK AND NOW WE'RÉ
CONTADINA ALL GOING TO
TOMATO PASTE, SEE WHAT YOU'RE
WHICH MY DOXY, š HIDING UNDER
СОНСЕТТА, POURÉD К ТНАТ FILTHY,
INTO YOUR HOLSTERS.
NOW, HANDS UP! PONCHO!
I'VE GOT A SPECIAL à d STRIP!
DEATH PLANNED FOR
YOU, BOUNTY HUNTER!
YOU SEE, EVERY
BULLET IN MY GUN
HAS BEEN RUBBED.
WITH GARLIC,
YOU ARE GOING

TO DIE AN
EXCRUCIATING-
LY SMELLY
DEATH.

RIGATONI! YOU ASKED _

FOR IT!

WHY, YOU SNEAKY SCALOPPINE
А GUN UNDER YOUR PONCHO! SO THAT'S WHY YOU
NEVER SHOWERED AT THE Y... ARGH!

YOU MAY THINK IT
A BIT WEIRD OF ME TO HAVE
INSTALLED THIS MECHANISM IN THIS
PARTICULAR ANATOMICAL LOCATION. FOR
^ FULLER CLINICAL EXPLANATION, MAY

1 REFER YOU TO CHAPTER SIX OF FREUD'S

MONUMENTAL WORK PHALLIC SYM-
BOLS AND OTHER MUSICAL
INSTRUMENTS.

You

7 VALE,
SAVED US, AMETI

SHAMELESS коеп
x HUSSIES!

AU BEST RE-
REVOIR, GARDS, NOISY
HYPO- NEWSBOY! =

CRITICAL. ——

NC CLERGY! fum e
po RT 58
‘GOODBYE,
ONE AND f
ii ли! A
ITS TIME
TO SAY
соор

BEEN SAYING
ALL ALONG,
PEPPERONI iS.
BASICALLY A GOOD
TOWN. IT JUST
HAD BAD
PEOPLE.

BUT NOW
THAT ALL
THE PEOPLE ARE
DEAD, IT'S A
GOOD TOWN
AGAIN.

ies, the degradation of Amer-
ican political nomenclature left nothing
for the new revulsionists but imprecisions
such as “radical,” “militant,” “acti
or "revulsionist.'

"This confusion aside, root causes have
been at work, the most basic of which is
simply the passage of time, the coming
on of a new generation. The Cold War,
the Communist menace, the leson of
Munich—it all had a faintly historical
g. suddenly, and what did it have to
do with the world of jet excursions
abroad, John XXIII and astronauts to
the moon? Was not communism Evtu-
shenko as well as Brezhney—Tito, Mao
and Ho as well as Stalin? Missiles, nu-
dear bombs, napalm, aircraft carriers,
the draft. huge ry appropriations,
starving American children, the Strategic
Air Command and decaying American
aties—none of this could make as much
sense in 1966 as it had in 1956, if for
no other reason than that the experience
of many of those who thought about it in
1966 included little of the historical ori-
gins of the Cold War. The world had
turned.

As for domestic affairs, somewhere in
the post-War era, it now seems clear, the
basic substance of American pol
changed almost imperceptibly. In the ris-
ig affluence, when facto
ry workers moved to the middle-class
suburbs, played golf on weekends and
sent their kids to college, the New Deal's
gut issue—the old reliable pocketbook
appeal, the question of the standard of
living—slipped down the scale of values.
Poverty had become, Kennedy and John-
son were forced to recognize, merely an
erest-group problem, like farm income
or textile quotas. At the heart of Ameri-
can politics, suddenly, there was some-
thing else, something not quite definable
but having to do with the quality of
American life. For some, it involved the
kids schools and who auended them,
w and order,” job security, taxes for
programs and all sorts of tricky,
alarming questions such as sex educa-
tion, prayer in the schools, hard drugs
d pot. student unrest, long hair on boys
id short skirts on girls. For others, the

new gut issue of life quality meant the
military-industrial complex, racism, liber-
ating new styles in music, attire, sex,
оссц “Relevance” in education,
“participation” in politics the right to
"do your own thing”—all became part of
the larger issue of the quality of life, And
if the one group concerned about this
issue was frequently at odds with the other
—aalll it the generation gap, the education
gap, square us. hip—the one thing that
most nearly united them was the appre
140 hensive and angry conviction that the

PLAYBOY

(continued from page 130)

individual 'n could not make his
voice heard, his presence felt, his views
heeded, in 20th Century America.

For, above all, the massive era had
arrived, borne on the twin carriers of
affluence and technology. Now each of us
right and center—feels threatened
antic, faceless institutions that rise
like the Rockies from American soil: the
Government, first and most Ше of all,
but also the cities, the universities, the
corporations, the unions. These tangible
entities are powerful and real to үй
ly all of us: to Americans stacked hi
their beehive apartment buildings or
scattered for aimless miles in their end-
less suburbs; to housewives pushing
through the impersonal aisles of the
supermarket; to husbands driving anony-
mously to work on vast, eight-lane, roar-
ing rivers of concrete; to students sitting
in the 50th row of a 1000-seat amphithe-
ater while a graduate assistant reads the
lecture notes of a well-known professor,
who is in Washington advising the Gov-
ernment or in New York consulting with
Chase Manhattan or the Ford Founda-
tion, both of which—along with the pro-
fessor—are part of the new interlocking
directorate of the liberal establishment.
But how much more menacing are those
intangible, even legendary, forces that
have acquired institutional status: the
liberal establishment itself, the Eastern
internationalists, the military-industrial
complex, the white backlash, the sensa-
tionalist press, the ghetto—or just “the
system." Who can reach or influence
them?

Add to these the continuing nightmare
of Vietnam—the first American war so
widely believed to be unjust and unwar-
ranted, so strenuously opposed at so many
levels and for so many reasons, generally
considered lost, yet so single-mindedly
pursued by a Government so apparent-
ly beyond control. Coming almost simulta-
neously with the revelation, in Watts
and Newark and Detroit, of the desper-
ate and terrifying underside of American
life, the war has shaken lifelong assump-
tions, cast the nation and the world in
which it exists in а new and unsparing
light and raised questions about all kinds
of institutional functions—Selective Serv-
ice, the President's foreign-policy powers,
the setting of priorities, the elections
system—that were once thought beyond
icism. The war has shaken Presidents,
universities, churches, the dollar, even the
United States Senate. Is it any wonder
that it has shaken Americans in general?
Morcover, since the Vietnam enterprise
failed, as most saw it, the question “How
did it happen?” inevitably arose. The
search for an answer to that question Jed
unerringly to a re-examination of political

procedures and beliefs taken as gospel
since the dawn of the Cold War; it led
unerringly. that is, to а new and skeptical
way of looking at and challenging the
Government, state power, the established
order of things—again, the liberal estab-
lishment.

So, amid changing generations. rising
affluence and the resulting new political
concerns, shocked by Vietnam from their
old passivity, Americans of all politic
persuasions—notably, radical right and
New Left, as the sensitive extremes—are
in revulsion. If the most visible evidence
of that feeling is the student revolt against
the university, the most widespread se
ment, coming from all directions,
against the gigantic Governmental е
created by and sustaining the liberal
establishment. As Karl Hess, once Barry
Goldwater's speechwriter and now a prac
ticing New Leftist, wrote his former boss
in an open letter printed
what has come about is a
the som of broken faith in state power
that you have urged, the sharp awareness
of the meaning of political power as the
power of people against the power of
overriding institutions.

Hess was urging Goldwater to follow
him into the New Left, which is politi.
cally unlikely but does have a cer
logic; after all, Hess reminded the Arizo-
n a historical sense, you were a
nent leftist when you attacked es
ей power, as you used to attack
But few Americans including Barry
Goldwater, have that kind of historical
sense; not many recognize or accept the
ant left and radical right
m revulsion against state
di-
vidual, Jet alone in constructive pol 1
action. This is why it is so difficult to
predict what might come of the new
revulsionism, whether it is anything more
than a momentary upsurge inst ulti-
mately irresistible pressures. The Ameri
сап center appears now to be doing what

sually does under well-founded chal-

, even
and institutional dominance of the

isin—accom.
modating no more than it has to in order
to shape the trend, accommodating prob-
ably not so much as it ultimately may
have to in order to contain it, The Nixon
Administration, half rcvulsionist, half
traditionalist, is the primary result of the
accommodation, as its two. principal do
mestic programs su
The first of these,
Federal revenues with smaller un
government, if carried out successfully
and on a large scale, could make the
Federal Government a giant. tax collec
tor, the purpose of which would be to
finance state and local governments. as
they develop into the major social and
(continued on page 282)

CHARIVIED
BY A
SNAKE

humor By MIORT SAHL
being the stirring saga

of a sometimes-requited love
affair with a cobra

IF SOMEONE WERE TO ASK ME for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-
Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that out of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back
to women. The 427 is probably the fastest production car in the world and it will always keep you interested, be-
cause unless you own real estate near the Bonneville salt flats, you'll never see the top end. In 1951, when Tom Mc-
shill broke 100 miles per hour in a Jaguar XK-120, motor-racing fans were so excited they were running up and
down the Venetian blinds. But the Cobra is an honest 180-mph production car. It's not сусп production—it's
immaculate conception.

Today, sports cars are plentiful. One of the unnoticed highlights of The Graduate (a picture about а Jewish
kid with gentile parents) was an Alfa Romeo Duetto. In act, the only way you can attract attention nowadays is to
drive a London taxicab or a double-decker bus. It was not ever thus. In the early Fifties, a chosen few drove sports
cars—mostly MGs or Austin-Healeys. These cars were about as successful as everybody's marriage, but you could pedal
real hard and try to balance the wire wheels—and at least you were in the field. You could compound this fantasy
by reading rrAvnov, which was embryonic in its efforts but much overdue in community | (continued on page 254) уа

ILLUSTRATION BY HY ROTH

142

shortly after the
orient. express
deposited us in
istanbul, the
turkish police
came to call—
causing a sudden
change in plans

wks

Concluding a new
suspense comedy

B
rhon

Greene

SYNOPSIS: Retired London bank man
ager Henry Pulling, attending the cre
mation of his mother, was surprised
to encounter his aunt Augusta, whom he
hadn't seen in over half a century. When
she took him back to her flat to share
some sherry, they were greeted by Words-
worth, his aunt's very large black "valet,"
who, il soon became obvious, took care
of mare thun the housekeeping. On leme
ing the flat, Henry discovered that he
had left behind a package containing
the wm holding his mothers ashes
When Wordsworth returned it to him,
Pulling noted it had been tampered
with. The next day, Henry discovered
why: the police called on him and he
learned that over half the wm's contents
had been replaced by pot. Later, his aunt
informed him that Wordsworth had dis-
appeared and she was enlisting Henry to
accompany her to Istanbul, firt stop
Paris. She did not reveal her reasons [or
going, but he was led to believe they
involved a certain Mr. Visconti, who
ed to have figured prominently in
his aunt's past. On the way to Paris, Aunt

According to Aunt Augusta,
Mr. Visconti, disguised as a cleric

to escape the Nazis occupying Rome,
found himself in the Excelsior bar, being
asked to hear a whore's confession

Augusta exhibited an amazing knowledge
of sex practices in every corner of the
globe and ап uncommon concern over
getting through customs, arranging for
Henry to take her ved suitcase through
customs for her. When someone whom
Aunt Augusta called her banker showed
up at their Paris hotel rooms, she had
Henry fetch her ved case and then leave
the room—bul not before he noticed (hat
the bag was crammed with ten-pound
notes. Henry, pondering the situation as
he strolled along the Boulevard des Сари
cines, was taken aback to come upon
Wordsworth. It was a most unsatisfactory
meeting, with accusations being hurled.
Henry was glad to get away and more
than astonished to have Wordsworth pop
up again at the Gave de Lyon, just as he
was boarding the Orient Express to join
his aunt and continue their mysterious
journey. To Hénry's relief, Wordsworth
did not accompany them, As the train
pulled out, Pulling discovered that his
aunt had a new friend—a very young lady
with the improbable name of Tooley,
who was also on her way to Istanbul. It
was while they were passing [ram Swilzer-
land into Haly that Tooley told Henry
what amounted to а short life siory—a
father in the CIA, a boyfriend she hoped
was waiting for her in Istanbul, a feeling
that she was pregnant and the [act that
the strange-smelling, strange-looking ciga
ith him were
pot and had been sold to her in Paris by
а fellow who could haze been none other
than Wordsworth. On arriving in Milan,
Aunt Augusta was met by one Mario, a
white-haired chap who called her Mother
and proved to be Mr. Visconti’s sou; he
gave her а parcel in a plain brown wap.
per just before the train pulled out. Remi-
nücing about her life in Rome and Milan
wilh Mr. Visconti, Henry's aunt made it
perfectly clear (although Henry had an
extraordinarily dificult time getting the
message) that she had once been a part

rettes she was sharing

time prostitute. When Henry remon-
strated with her about her “sordid”
past, Aunt Augusta took the offense

and denigyated him for leading a mean,
purposeless life. Pulling left his aunt's
compartment in а daze

1 FELT GLAD t|
but nonetheless, I
needed a liule time for reflection, so
1 climbed down onto the platform and
began to look around me for food. [t
was the last chance before Belgrade next
morning. D Dou x ham rolls off a
trolley and a bottle of chianti and some
sweet cakes—it was not so good a meal
as а restaurant would have provided. I
thought sadly, and what a dreary staton
it was, Travel could be a great waste of
of the carly
evening when the sun had lost its heat
and the shadows fell small
lawn, the hour when I would take my
yellow watering сап and fill it from the
garden tap.

1 had not lost my temper.
shocked and

was

time. This was the hour

across my

Tooley's voice said, "Would you mind
getting me some more Coke?
here’s nowhere on the train to keep
it cold."
don't mind warm Coke.”

Ob, the absurdity of it all. 1 could
have cried aloud, for now the man with
the trolley wouldn't take a pound note
and I had to give him two of the dollars
that 1 was carrying in my pocketbook

against emergencies, and he refused any
change, though 1 knew the exact
and told him the lire required.

We sat and talked as Tooley drank
her warm Coke. At Venice, the uain wait
ed nearly an hour, and dark was falling
when we pulled out. I saw nothing at all
—we might have been leaving Clapham
for Victoria.

It was ni

ме

arly 9:30 in the evening when
we arrived at Sezana. A surly passport
man looked at us as though we were
imperialist spies. Old women heavily lad
en with small parcels came down the

unplatformed track making for the third
class. They emerged from everywhere,
like a migration, even from between the
goods trucks that stood uncoupled all
along the line, looking as though they
would never be linked together. No one
ele joined the train; no one got off
There were no lights, no waiting room
in sight; it was cold and the heating ha
not been turned on. On the road beyond
if there was a road—no cars passed
No railway hotel ollered a welcome.

"Em cold." Tooley said. Im
bed." She offered to leave me a cigarette
but E refused. 1. didn't want to be com
promised on this cold frontier. Another
uniformed man looked in and regarded
case on the rack with hatred

At moments during the night, 1 woke

in Ljubljana, in Zagreb
was nothing to be scen except the lines
of stationary rolling stock that looked
abandoned, as though nothing was left
the trucks, no onc

my new sui

but there

anywhere to put i
had the energy anymore to roll them and
чай that steamed o
impelled by a foolish driver who hadn't
realized that the world had stopped aud
there was nowhere for us to go.

At Belgrade. Tooley and I had break
fast in the station hotel
jam and bad collec—and we bought a
bottle of sweet white wine for lunch, but
they had no sandwiches, 1 let my aunt
sleep on; it was not a meal worth wak
her to share.

In the fields,
along, dragging h
in ihe. preindustri

it was only our

dry bread and

slowly
We were back
Tooley and 1
were both depressed, yet it was
lowest point of our journey; that came as
evening fell in Sofi

horses moved

rows

t the

and we tried to buy
something to eat, but no one would take
any money but Bulgar
exorbitant rat
to that

n except at an

and even when I agreed

here were only tepid sausa
sale made of

son
(continued on page 162)

143

not one to
the past or to wort;
blithe-s
digs līvi

Vo aca Ml cant w
T~ -
ET

\
А

Л Дш _
#
67
y~
E

SINGE "1

OWAN AND MAKTIN'S LAUG
ratings, "beautiful downtown Burk
olis is sarc

took firm hold of the Nielsen
nk"—as that California теор
ically referred to on the show—has become the butt of
countless quips by people who have never even approached the city's
limits. Indeed, Burbank was strictly a laughing matter for us (condi
tioned reflex) until we met honey-haired Jill Taylor, at which point
our respect for the place increased a hundredfold. For Jill, however,

LI

i

H
|

It's Soturday morning and Jill awakens (top left) in on unfamiliar place:
the luxurious Palm Springs home of o family friend, where she and four
other girls have been invited to spend the weekend. Jill wastes no time
rausing the occupant of the bunk opposite her own—ond her roommate re-
spond: by tossing the pillow that gets the day officially, and riotously, started.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY GILL FIGGE AND ED DELONG

145

is proof that not all of America's young people

Midmorning finds the girls ot poolside. А collopsed rub-
ber гой proves more difficult to inflate than Jill had
expected (top), but the effort seems worth while later.

are clawing at the social structure or trying to find their own bag—and then crawl into it. She's in no hurry to commit herself
to а course of action, be it employment or further schooling: she's convinced that our present nation in flux will straighten itself
out in due time: and, while she admits the possibility is ever-present, she doesn't believe that California is about to tumble into
the ocean. However, Jill would never daim to be an authority on politics—nor geology. Her thing is having fun in the sun
with her friends and, in moments of solitude, amusing herself by sketching fanciful outfits: “If I ever do settle on a career, itll
have to be designing or modeling fashions—or maybe both. But for now, I'm more interested in having a good time.” One

Top: Time posses quickly—to the occomponiment of splashes and giggles—os the mermaids indulge in a variety of improvised water sports, such
os racing ocross the pool and tussling for possession of the raft. Above: Having soled their oppetites for aquotic horseplay, the girls move
indoors for o heorthside marshmallow roast, ard Jill gets her hair braided, then digs into the sticky delicacies os hunger overrules finesse.

ТЕП

son that Jill isn't in a hurry to become a
professional designer i
sex craze turns her off

Jill didn't prove to be old-f
we asked her to grace our January

In the evening, having ingested all the marsh-
mallows they could handle, Jill and the gang
appropriate a piano, a drum set and assorted
rhythm instruments that belong to the absent hosts.
ll sees to it that the beat goes on as the girls,
an admittedly amateurish {от session, sing a
xed-up medley of Top 40 favorites. “I'm sure
glad there's no tope recorder here," says Jill.

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

ng that her husband's relationship with
g miss across the street was becoming
mate, the suspicious wile awoke onc
morning to find herself alone in bed. Angered,
aled her attractive neighbor and bel
lowed into the phone, "Tell my husband to
get his ass across the street

Ma'am,” a soft, sexy voice replied, “that's

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines marijuana
as the only kind of grass capable of mowing
down the gardener.

As the end of the day drew near, the handsome
executive summoned the newly hired secretary
to his office. “Ро you know what time we quit
round here?" he asked, glancing at the clock
he wall
“Sure,” the girl nervously giggled.
ever somebody knocks on the door.”

When

Then there was the aging alumnus who
mented that when he went to college, it was
only a lot of fun, but now it’s a riot.

The recently married gentleman came home
after а day at the office to find his young wife
stretched languorously on the sofa, dressed in a
ing, negligee. “Guess what I've got planned
for dinner?” she cooed seductively. “And don't
tell me you had it for lunch!”

We know an octogenarian who n
woman in her late 70s—they spent their honey-
moon trying to get out of the саг.

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines parlay as
one that is just average.

On a southbound train a few months after the
Civil War, a young belle suddenly moved from
her scat next to a businessman and sat beside a
Confederate veteran who was on his way home
from the battle lines. "That carpetbagger offered
me ten dollars to spend the night with him,”
the offended girl indignantly told the soldier.

The Southerner immediately drew his gun
and shot the man, “Let that be a lesson 10 any
other damn Yankees,” he proclaimed in а loud
voice. "Don't come down here and try to double
the price of everything.

Upon finishing examining his cute new pa-
tient quite thoroughly, the obstetrician smiled
and said, “I've got good news for you, Mrs.
Smi i

Pardon me,” interrupted the young lady,
"but its Miss Smith.”

“Oh, I sec," gulped the physici
Miss Smith, I've got bad news for you.

"Well,

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines Navaho
ereclion as a scrotum pole.

Then there was the amorous actor who tried
out for a part in the latest nude play only to
find that the position he wanted had already
been taken.

Seeing her brother undressed for the first
ime, the little girl questioned her mother:
“Why haven't I got one of thosei

“Be patient, dear" the mother answered
knowingly. “If you're good, you'll get one
when you grow up. And if you're very good,
you'll get quite a few."

The highway patrolman stopped a speeding car
and, noticing the motorist's inebriated condition,
delivered a stern lecture on the dangers of
drunken drivin "Do you realize that you
were going over seventy miles an hour?” the
officer demanded.

“I know," the driver explained. “I want to
get home before I have an accident. ^

After uying to fix a Hat tire during а raging
blizzard, the young man jumped back into the
car with his date and began rubbing his nearl

frozen hands. "Let me warm them for you,
she offered, placing his 1
thighs.

When his fingers had thawed out, the chap
rushed back 10 continue working on the tire,
but he quickly returned a complaining
that his hands were numb with cold, As he
reached under her skir., «ie slid forward and
whispered ecstatically, ° Darling, aren't your
сагу cold, too?”

Heard а good one lately? Send it on a post-
card to Party Jokes Editor, ғълувох, Playboy
Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave, Chicago,
TIL. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor
whose card ts selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

“Nothing like chestnuts roasting on an open fire, eh, Miss Blythdale?

PLAYBOY

154

UNITING THE RACES

—which is fine, except that most of us
can still allord to cat only at the five-and-
ten-cencstore. lunch counters where we
originally made our stand; and some
of us are literally starving. The system
conceded to black people the right to
sit in the front of the bus—a hollow
victory when one’s longest trip is likely to
be from the feudal South to the mecha-
nized poverty of the North. It has legi
lated the right to vote for people who
seldom see candidates in whom they
put their trust, And this system in. 1968.
selected as President of the United States
a man who, clearly. was not our choice.
Although unemployment and unde
employment are among our most crucial
problems, this man's Government. gives
nearly 510.000.000 in Federal conti
three textile firms in the Carolinas with
proven records of discrimination—on the
oral promise that they will “do better";
even. Nixon's equal-opportunity bureau-
h that onc. Here is a
man who cannot help but know that
capitalism has yct to solve the problems
of white poverty, yet he offers a pitifully
underfinanced public-relations gimmick
called black capitalism as an answer to
our needs. And while black, brown and
red Americans suffer more than whites
from du п Vietnam—in terms of
both ii nd deaths—this man
has yet to reveal any viable plan for end-
ing the war, the secret plan he said he
had more than 2 year ago. But the war
does more. of course, than kill our young
men, The 30-billion-dollar annual drain
on the Treasury for this conflict and the
emire inflated military budget arc tcs

monies to us that America is more inter-
ested in killing di n exalting life
To discuss what could or should be

done by any American President or
merican Congress to include nonwhite
Americans as recipients of the supposed
benefits of the American way of lile is to
discuss an endless list of existing but

unenforced Executive orders and Presi-

dential promises. It has been over 15
years, for instance, since the United
s Supreme Court, in Brown ws.

Board of Education of Topeka. dedared
that segregation in public schools was il
The next year, Southern schools

were ordered to desegre “all de-
e speed.” Yet, a decade and a half
every American Gty—North, South,

East and West—still m:
segregated school system.

Time has demonstrated that cutting
off Federal funds has been the single
most elective method of enforcing the
Court's ruling: yet a combination of
racist Southern Federal judges, a policy of
appeasement practiced by Democratic
nd Republican. administrations and
ck of national interest in this crucial
question have conspired to hold tlie per-
gc of integrated black schoolchildren

racially

ce

(continued from page 128)

in the South to 40 percent. Indecd—
until they were stopped in October 1969
by a Supreme Court headed by his own
ppointee—the Nixon Administration
was committing the most bestial sort of
political fornication with its political
bedfellows, the mew Republicans of the
South. Together, they instituted court
action when other available methods
promised to be too speedy. They relaxed
Federal pressure at the (th hour, givi
id and comfort to every segregation.
minded school board and superintendent
in the South.

The only just course of action for the
Government is to insist that “all deliber-
ate speed” h to immedi-
ately cut off all Federal funds to any
school district that practices discrimi
s in Chatham
County . or Cook County. Ш
nois; to insist that existing black princ
pals and schoolteachers in integrated
seu their seniority and job
level st the use of culturally biased
tests to assign. pupils to honors programs
or grade levels.

But education alonc docs not solve
problems of poverty and unemployment
lor a pcople with high social visibility.
Something more revolutionary is re-
quired. The Congress should declare that
those farmers in the South and South
ve built fortunes by collect-
ng Federal monies for mot grow
crops have forfeited the rij
that land. The land, in tu
redistributed to the 1

w In the South, this type of H
reform would mean important progress

property ownership for poor black—
nd many white—sharecroppers. In the
Southwest, it would mean the chicanos
would have a chance to control the land
whose soil their sweat has made fertile
over so many years.

President Nixon has begun what no
other President in recent years has dared
to do—tamper with ihe outmoded and
dependence-fostering welfare system. His
proposed reforms, however, would ас
lly work to penalize the large indus
| states and would subsidize cheap
bor in the South. And his pro

ional floor of 51600 a year for a

posed
family of four would be amusing if there

were not real people involved with real
mouths to feed. The п.
blish a workable wel
of four at 55500 a year.

The
Congress ought to insist on retaining the

nd commodities distribution
bandon the no-
tion of indiscriminately forcing welfare
recipients to work. Since no опе remains
poor by choice in this country, no one
should be required to take an unaccept

food-stamp
programs

able job simply because he is poor.
A mation
ownership and establishing susti
welfare standards, if implemented by
every state in the union, would begin to
halt the flow of poor, unskilled Ameri
cans from [arm to city. Such а program,
would beg
сйс Шоу temporarily and belatedly,
the problems of America's overburdened
Cities. Federal and state governments,
while, should become the employers

st resort by providing jobs for low
ticularly men, while
these same men participate in training
t them for today's

to

If the American minorities—the Mesi
Puerto Rican, Indian and black
Ames and the slowly vanishing
poor-white Americans—have the guaran
teed opportunity for income. then the
pathologies that distort their lives will
begin to disappear. At the same time, the
minorities. America must
ize the desperate need for the cul
ivation, singly and collectively, of the
ad of power whites have monopolized

1

evil men and an evil system now crush
our every aspiration, that no question of
education or job u tegration
of jobs ated
without ated grasp of power by
= powerless One simple way that the
vernmeni—il it wanted to—could lit
ме this bid for legitimate power
1 regis
tars to the numerous Southern counties
where voting figures demonstrate that
intimidation and fear still prevent black
people from voting

Finally, white America is going to
have to accept the judgment of the Ker
ner Commission report that the fragmen
ion of the races in this country is its

cilii
would be by dispatching Feder

problem, and an explosive one. If pro.
grams and cures а not advanced and
enforced, then no one can hope that life

in America will grow less violent or
tense, or that other Watts and Detroits
nd Newarks will not occur а h
greater intensity and greater sophisti
tion. Neither white nor black capit
is guaranteed by our Constitution, but
the Mth, Ith and loth amendments do
guarantee the right of all men to cat,
breathe and dives White providence
should want it no other way. The non
whites of America will struggle to have

no other way. As an old black аро
Frederick Douglass, said over 100
go. "We сап be remoiified,

lated, but never ext
is our country

| assi

Th Р
her die out пог be drives
I go with [white] people.

We shall nc
out; but sh
cither testimony
as evidence in their

as a goinst them or

or, throughout

PLAYBOY PLANS
A DUPLEX PENTHOUSE

modern. living

a coolly elegant urban
haven that combines the intimate privacy

of a roman atrium with architectonic spaciousness

WAY BACK IN THE FALL of 1956, we presented Playboy’s Penthouse Apartment, by far the most successful
ga ing modern-living feature we had ever published, and the first in a series of Playboy Pads
projected. Although we have featured a great variety of dwellings, they all have had the
pose: to appeal to the urban bachelor who believes a man’s home is not only his castle but also an outward reflection
of his inner self; a place where he can live, love and be merry, entertain his friends with parties big and small, play
poker with cronies from the office or relax alone with a fond companion. Now, 13 years alter our first penthouse de
sign appeared, and with a new decade dawning, we are again projecting our concept of the pinnacle of urban
living, this time a duplex penthouse that combines the latest technological and architectural adv; а
that's as old as the hills—the Roman hills, that is. Houses in ancient Rome were often built around an atrium, a
central courtyard, that provided air and sun, and could yet be enjoyed in privacy. Our duplex penthouse uses the
ium concept but is otherwise a model of modernity. Its first level provides for the more gre

d mail-

actual and
me specific design pur-

privare activities, and provides him with unrooled patio-terraces Irom which he may enjoy the sun and stars, the

155

— t

Above, left to right: In front of the multipaneled abstract painting are four Walian-designed spun-aluminum enameled Torino chairs uphol-
stered in patent vinyl, $500 each, and a matching Torino table, $800, both from Stendig. A lacquer-finished cocktail table that features a
156 stainless-steel top with builtin magazine rack plus side storage compartments for books, etc., from Knoll, $560, dominates the sunken talk рй.

ARCHITECTURAL RENDERINGS NY RORERT BRAY

Above, left to right: Around the sunken tolk pit ore leather-covered Domino Chairs of
polyurethane foom, from Stendig, $500 each. Molded foom-rubber and tubular-steel benches,
covered with stretch zip-on wool jersey, from Tumer-T, $190 each, overlook the reflecting pool.

surrounding urban scene and seasons
Both first and second levels are oriented

around the two-story atrium.

Our duplex penthouse is, as we said,
comtemporary—as our first one was in

its day, And, like our first penthouse, it

combination of projected design and
actual (that is, purchasable) elements

is

Now, as then, we have started with a
realistic urban premise: There are ter
raced penthouses for rent, Toda
ever, more duplexes are available, not
only on lease but for co-op ownership
1 as condominiums, and—at some cost
—they may be modified to suit one's per
sonal needs and preference
require remodeling, to be sure, but value
is thus enhanced, No alteration is ге
quired for most of the available furnish
nents of

y, how

his may

ings and appliances, and е
decor, which we would recommend be
considered as suitable to this penthouse
and the life style it affords, though some
customization—and custom installation—
is often desirable.

^ large part of this new urban way
of life is responsive to architectural seren
ity and spatial sculpturing, to gain a

sense of quite-private interior vistas,
ther than focusing on or relying upon
w from the penthouse
windows, garden and patio-terraces.
Ihe contemporary architect's feel for
cleanliness of line and absence of dutter

the outward

is apparent in this new penthouse, not
only in terms of what one sees but in
what one does not. Thus, unless it makes
no utilitarian sense at all, the mechanical
and electronic accouterments are cun
ningly concealed in cabinetwork and be.
Ws

all, drive their cars with the hood ope
to reveal the engine, and the novelty of
electronic, transistorized and semiauto-
mated aids tO easy living has sufficiently
ake their displa
tentatious, as well as decoratively obtru
sive, You will see that the atrium not only
is two levels but is roofed with a motor
ized skylight and bridged by two bal
ustraded (text continued on page 161)

d motorized panels: few people, after

orn off 10 n rather os-

Top left; You're stonding in the foyer of our
duplex penthouse, looking toword the living-
room Grea—os the floor-plon pointer above
indicates. In front of the fireplace woll ore
leather Domino Chairs; behind them, o
muhiponeled ebrosionproof pointing covers
оп отоу of audio ond video equipage.
TOR DETAILED FLOOR PLANS, SEE РАСЕ 234

157

”

Numbers are keyed to floor plans. 1. In the Orientalinfluenced dining
area seen at left, guests may dine Japanese style in complete com-
fort: The floor cushions feature lift-up back rests ond o leg well hos
been built in below the table. However, should о farmol dinner be
in the affing, the tabletop can be hydraulically raised to the standard
30inch height (closing aff the leg well), the cushions removed and

chairs provided. 2. The multimirrored master bath, above, lacated an
the second level, features a sunken soak tub set in a radiant-heated
black-slate floor. Area beyond is o terrace; others house sauna,

shower and lavatory. 3. The penthouse kitchen, helow, features the

ultimate in culinary conveniences. Foodstuffs not needing refrigeration
ore stored in the wall by means af the vertical conveyor belt seen
through the apen cabinet doar. Above the digital clock is the push-
button-cperated screen onto which recipes con be rear-projected

3. Above: Built айо оне wull of the moste: bedioom ore color TV, tope, cosette ond LP
geor, videotape recorder and o two-way audio-visual closed-circuit hookup that enables
nslon! communication with опуапе, anywhere in the pod. All the bedroom’s electronic
wizardry con be controlled from o panel located between the bed's adjustable podded
headrests. 2, Below: When our man about town wishes to leave the comfortable confines
of his kinetic bedchamber, he can stroll onto his private patio-terrace, kindle а blaze
in the fireplace and listen to his choice of sounds on his Holion-designed stereo set

A castered Brionvega stereo rig thot features
о four-speed record changer, AM/FM radio
end detachable speakers, from Beylerion,
$1000, stonds on the master patic-terrace.

catwalks that join the private chambers
on the second level and provide vaulted
vistas for the more gregarious activities
for which the first level is reserved.

In both architecture and decor, we
have striven to give this penthouse the

[cel of a proper house —as opposed 10 an
apartment, however luxurious it might
be. (For example, the building's elevator
opens not on an apartmenthouse hall
but directly into the penthouses en-
trance foyer; the solid elevator door may
"s key or remote-
ly, from within.) The individualization
that is е

he opened by the owne

er more important in today’

world is most readily achieved, we believe,

by working from a validly conceived and
pleasingly proportioned architectural
matrix for living, to be imprinted with
each owner's choice of colors, textures,
works of art and personal bibelots, be
they heirlooms or recent acquisitions.
What you see here are our suggestions;
cach man will have his own preferences,
but may find ours to his liking or simu-
lating to his imagination. Now—in imag

ination—we invite you to tour the

proposed premises, as a prospective own-
cr would do.
You leave your car with the doorman

or parking (continued on page 233)

1. Above: The focal point of the master bed
room is a sunken king-sized bed with molded
fiberglass frame. Behind the abstract panel
is а battery of projectors thot can turn the
raam into on electric circus of colors either
for ovt or romantic. Wardrabe needs ore
stored nearby in dustproof closets. The
remote-control sliding glass doors open onto
the potio-erroce. A bedside high-intensity
lamp provides illumination for reading

161

PLAYBOY

162

2
Crooks tOUr кен from page 143)

some coarse unrecognizable mcat and
chocolate cake made of a chocolate sub-
stitute and pink fizzy wine. I hadn't seen
my aunt all day except once, when she
looked in on us and refused Тоосуз
last bar of chocolate and said sadly and
unexpectedly, “I loved chocolate once.
I am growing old.” Eventually, 1 went
down the corridor to find her.

I found her with a Baedeker opened
nbul spread over her
knee. She looked like a general plannin
а campaign.

“I'm sorry about yesterday afternoon,

Aunt Augusta," 1 said. “I really didn't
anything against Mr. Viscon-
II, I don't know the circum-
more about him."
He was a quite impossible man." my
aunt said, "but I loved him and what he
did with my money was the least of his
faults. For example, he was what they
call a collaborator. During the German
occupation, he acted as advisor to the
German authorities on. questions of art,
and he had to get out of Italy very
quickly after the death of Mussolini,
Goring had been making a big collection
of pictures, but even he couldn't easily
steal pictures from places like the Uffizi,
where the collection was properly regis-
tered; but Mr. Visconti knew a lot about
the unregistered—all sorts of treasures
hidden away in palazzos almost as crum.
bling as your uncle Jos. OL course, lus
part got to be known and there'd be
quite а panic in a country place when
Mr. Visconti appeared, taking lunch
in the local Lerma. The trouble was
he wouldn't play even a crooked game
straight or the Germans might have
helped him escape. He began to take mon-
ey from this marchesa and that not to
tip off he Germans—this gave him
liquid

ash or sometimes a picture he
fancied for himself, but it didn't make

him friends and the Germans soon sus-
ресей what was going om. Poor old
dev n't а friend he

could trust. Mario was still at school
with the Jesuits and | had gone back to
England when the War began

“What happened to him in the ead?"

“I thought for a long time he'd been
liquidated by the partisans. Mr. Visconti,
as 1 told you, was not a man for fighting
with knives or fists. A man who fights
never survives long, and Mr, Visconti
great at survival. Why, the old sod," she
id with tender delight, "he survives to
this moment. He must be eighty-four, if
he's a day. He wrote to Mario and Mario
wrote to me, and that's why you and I
have taken the train to Istanbul. T
couldn't expl | that in London, it
was too complicated, and anyway, I hard-
ly knew you. Thank goodness for the
gold brick, that’s all 1 сап say."

The gold brick?”

Newer mind. "That's чийе another

thing.”
“You told me about a gold brick at Lon
don Airport, Aunt Augusta; surely .. . ?”

Of course not. It's not that one. That
quite a Ше one. Don't interrupt.
telling you now about poor Mr.
Visconti. It seems he's fallen on very
lean times."

“Where is he? In Istanbul

“It's better you shouldn't know, for
there are people still after him. Oh, dear,
he certainly escaped the hard way. Mr.
Visconti was 2 good Catholic, but he was
very, very anticlerical; and yet, in the
end, it was the priesthood that saved him.
He went to a clerical store in Rome,
when the Allies were coming close, and
he paid a fortune to be fitted out like a
monsignor, even to the purple socks. He
said that a friend of his had lost all his
clothes in a bombing raid and they pre-
tended to believe him. Then he went
with a suitcase to the lavatory in the
Excelsior Hotel, where we had given all
those cocktail parties for the cardinals,
and changed. He kept away from the
reception desk, but he was unwise
enough to look in at the bar—the bar-
an, he knew, was very old and short-
ted. Well, you know, in those days, а
lot of girls used to come to the bar to
pick up German officers. One of these
girls suppose it was the approach of
the Allied troops tut did it—was having
а crise de conscience. She wouldn't go to
her friend's bedroom, she regretted her
lost purity, she would never si
The officer plied her with more and
more cocktails, but with every drink, she
becune morc religious. Then she spied
Mr. Visconti, who was having a quick
whiskey in а shady corner. "Father, she
cried to him. ‘hear my confession.” You
can imagine the tension in the bar, the
noise outside as the evacuation got under
way, the crying children, people drink-

ing up what there was in the bar, the
Allied planes overhead. . .
“How did you hear the story, Aunt

Augusta?”

т. Visconti told Mario the essentials
when he got to Milan, and I can imagine
the гем. Especially, I can picture poor
Mr. Visconti in his purple socks. "My

child. he said, ‘this is no fit place for a
confession."

"'Never mind the place. What does
the place matter? We are all about to

dic and 1 am in

portal sin. Please, please,
iced his socks by
worried Mr. Vi
ion she was provol
he told her, ‘in this sune

ion
enough.’ But oh, no, she wasn't going
to be fobbed olf with something cheap
like that— Bargain sale, owing to closing
down of premises.’ She went and knelt at
his knees. "Your Grace,’ she exclaimed.

teen

most was the
"My child,’
of emergency, a simple act of contr

She was used to giving officers a superior
rank—it nearly always pleased а captain
to be called a major

1 am not a bishop,’ Mr. Vises
aid. "I am only а humble monsignor.
Mario pen his father closely about
this ep ly invented
nothing. If anyone has invented a detail.

it is Mario. You have to remember that
he writes verse plays.

her, the girl implored, taking
the hint, "help me."

"The secrecy of the confessional,’ Mr
Visconti pleaded back—they were now.
you see, pleading to each other, and she
pawed Mr. Visconti’s knee, while he
рамей the top of her head in an eccle-
siastical way. Perhaps it was the pawingy
that made the German officer interrupt
with impatience.

“For God's sake," he said, ЧЕ she wants
to confess, Monsignor, let her. Here's the
key to my room, just down the passage,
past the lavatory.”

“So off went Mr, Visconti with the
al girl—he remembered just in
ne to put down his whiskey. He had
no choice, though he hadn't been to
confession himself for thirty years and he
had never learned the priests part. Luck-

s an air conditioner in the
room breathing heavily, and that ob-
scured his whispers, and the girl was too
much concerned with her role to pay
much attention to his. She began right
away; Mr. Visconti had hardly time to sit
оп the bed, pushing aside a
and a bottle of schnapps, before sh
getting down to details. He h:
the whole thing finished
possible, but he told М
couldn't help becoming a little
ed, now she had got started, and wanting
to know a bit more, Айег all, he was a
novice though not in the ecclesiastical
sense

“How man

times, my chill? That
was a phrase he remembered. very well
from his adolescence

"How can you ask that, Father? I've
been at it all the time ever since the
occupation. After all, they were our al-
lies, Father."

“Yes, yes my child.’ | can just see
him enjoying the chance he had of learn
g a thing or two, even though his lile
was in danger. Mr. Visconti was a very
ledherous man. said, "Always the

me thing, my child?

She regarded him with astonishn
"Of course not, Father. Who on earth do
you think 1 am?

“He looked at her kneeling in front of
him and I am sure he longed to pinch

her. Mr. Visconti was
pincher. ‘Any а
"What do you me.
ather?”

Mr. Visconti ex lai
"Surely that's not
(continue

herz
on page 221)

Ape
CONGLOMERA

article By JUSTICE WILLIAM O. DOUGLAS

residual problems of disastrous proportions plague the nation on the threshold of a new decade; it is
precisely those who now feel most frustrated who can summon up the cleansing winds of change

^ l-yeAaR-oLD nov in Tokyo is symbolic of the dissent th
sweeping Japan. Japan has become identified with U. S. mi
tarism, and some say J 5 now thoroughly subdued by the
U. S. military approach to world problems, J s a huge
U.S. Air Force base. It is also the only me i the
Seventh. Fleet replenishes its supplies and is able to continue
its operations in Far Eastern waters.

What worries the 10-yearold from "Tokyo? The U.S. fear
of Peking is the on or reason for our conversion of
Japan into a military b: neither the youth of Japan
nor the older generation fears China. “We are blood brothers
and have lived side by

Why, then, does Jap S. military bases in her
country? The answer is an overwhelming fear of Russia.

Thar fear of the Japanese is as senseless as our own fear of
wr. Each senseless fear feeds the other, Whatever the
apanese youth he sees the American
military pre 1 ly involving Japan in a
conflict with Our presence there |
consequences, the inten .

a step
young and old—deem morally wrong.
For the real Cl a is mainland China, with her 800,000,000
people. Peking, not "Taipch, is the mirror of the 21st Century,
with all of its troublesome problems. The Japanese—espe
ly the young—want to get on those problems, so tha
they will not fester

The youthful dissent
the Asian situation as de
he ges to V

is

that

probably does not see
apanese dissenter, unless
y. Yet more and more of the

youth of America are instinctively horrified at the way John-
son avoided all constitutional procedures and slyly mancu
vered uy into an Asian war. There was no national debate
The lies and half-truths they were
told and the phony excuses adyanced gradually made most
Americans dubious of the integrity of our ship.
Moreover, the lack of any apparent threat to American
interests, whether Vietnam was Communi
erned in the ancient tradition (as it was
for years). compounded the American doubis concerning our
Vietnam venture. And the youth rebelled violently when
Johnson used his long arm to try to get colleges to discip!
the dissenters and when he turned the Selecti
System into vindictive weapon for use against the prote:
Various aspects of militarism have produced kindred pro-
tests among the youth both here and in Japan. There is, I
believe, a common suspicion among youth around the world
that the design for living, fashioned for them by their
icr 10 the nuclear
t fear of i
‘The Japanese say that the most dreadful time in history
was the period when only one nation (the U.S.) had the aromic
bomb. Then that bomb was used, and Hiroshima is not for-
gouen, To the Japanese, a sense of security came when Russia
red the same bomb. They reason that that created a
deterrent to the use of nuclear force by any of the great. powers
But we know that preparedness and the armament race
tably lead to war. Thus it ever has been and ever will be.
аге no more of a deterrent to war than the death
€ is to murder. We know from our own experience

ILLUSTRATION FOR PLAYBOY BY BILL MAULOIN

163

PLAYBOY

164

that among felonies, the incidence of
murder is no higher in Michigan and
Minnesota. (where the death. penalty was
bolished years ago) than im California
nd New York. Moreover, when Dela-
ware restored the death penalty eight
ago, there was an increase, not a
decrease, in the rate of homicides.

1f the war that comes is а nuclear
conflict, the end of planetary life is prob-
able. If it is a war with conventional
weapons, bankruptcy is inevitable. Mod-
ern technological war is much too expen-
sive to fight. Vietnam has bled our
country at the rate of two and a half
billion dollars a month.

We still have the Pentagon, with a
antastic budget that enables it to dream
of putting down the much-needed revo
lutions that will arrive in Peru, in the
Philippines and in other benighted
countries, Where is the force that will
restrain the Pentagon? Would a
dent dare face it down?

“The strength of a center of power such
as the Pentagon is measured im part by
the billions of dollars it commands. Its
budget is greater than the total Federal
budget in 1957. Beyond that is the self-
perpetuating character of the Pentagon.
Its officer elite is. of course. subject to
some controls, but those controls are
mostly formal.

It has a magnetism and an energy of
its own. И exercises, moreover, а power-
ful impact on the public mind. Its pub-
ic representatives are numerous and а
phone call or a personal visit propels the
spokesman into action. It has on the Hill
one public-relations man for every two
or three Congressmen and Senators. The
mass media—esentially the voice of the
establishment—reflect mostly the mood
of the Pentagon and the causes the mil
tary-industrial complex espouses. So ме,
the people, are relentlessly pushed in the
direction that the Pentagon a

‘The push in that direction is increased
by powerful foreign interests. The China
lobby, financed by the millions of dollars
extorted and extracted from America by
the Kuomintang, uses vast sums to brai
wash us about Asia. The Shah of Iran
hires Madison Avenue houses to give a
democratic luster to his military, repres-
sive dictatorship. And so it goes.

1 have, perhaps, put into sophisticated
words the worries and cor
em youth, Their wisdon
с, or they may acquire a revealing
insight from a gross statement. made by
their elders But part of their over-
whelming fear is the prospect of dhe
military regime that has ruled us since
Truman amd the ominous threat that
the picture holds. Is it our destiny to kill
Russians? To kill Chinese? Why can’t
we work at cooperative schemes and search
for the common ground binding all man-
kind together?

We seem to be going in the other
direction. This уса, we will spend

s

5891,500,000 for developing the ABM,
which is almost as much as we will allo-
cate to community-action and model-cities
programs combined: we will spend 17
billion dollars on new Navy ships, which
is close to what we will spend on edu-
cation for the poor; we will spend 8 bil
lion dollars on new-weapons research,
which is more than the current cost of the
Medicare program; and so on and so on.

Race is another source of dissent. Ne-
Broes want parity as respects human
dign rity as respects equal justice
and in economic opportuniti

Police practices are anti-Negro. Unem-
ployment is anti Negro. Housing is anti
Negro. Education is anti-Negro.

Almost 50 percent of the Negroes live in
a state of poverty. Over half of the
6,500,000 Americans of. Mexican descent
in the Southwest also live in poverty. Our
food program is another cause of dissent
Millions upon millions of dollars go to
corporate and other farmers to restrict
production and to guarantee profits for
the producers. Only meager amount:
made available to the poor.

Thus, in one year, Te
(who constitute .02 percent of the Texas
population) received 5250,000,000 in sub
sidies, while the Texas poor (who cons
tute 28.8 percent of the Te:
received $7,500,000 in food assistance.

Of the 50,000,000 poor at the national
level, fewer than 6.000000 participate in
either the foodstamp program or the
surplus-commodities program.

Bias in the laws against the poor is an-
other source of disent. Vagrancy laws are
one example. Many cities make being
poor a crime. A man who wanders, look-
mg for a job. is suspect, and he and
kind are arrested by the thousands each
year. The police use vagrancy as an ex-
сизе for arresting people on suspicion—
a wholly unconstitutional procedure in
our country.

Bias against the poor is present in the
usury laws and in the practices of con-
umer credit There are some credit
transactions where the monthly payment
is so restricted and the accumulation of
st so rapid that one who makes
time payments for ten years will owe
more at the end than at the beginning.

For the poor, the interest rates often rise
10 1000 percent a year.
We got rid of our debtors’ prisons in

the last century. But today's garnishment
proceedings are as destructive and as
vicious as the debtors dungeon
ployers have commonly discharged work-
ers whose wages are garnisheed, and the

has been so higt

that a family is often
reduced to a starvation level.
Congress іп 1908 passed а law requir-

ing full disclosure of all consumer-credit
charges. It also banned the discharge of
employees whose wages аге garnishoed

and it reduced the percentage of the

But the charges for cor
are governed almost entirely by state
law; and in 1969, practically all the
states (at least 48) were asked to adopt а
so-called model code, fashioned by the
nce-company lobby, that increases
permissible charges and makes the hold
of the lender even tighter on the poor.

Needless to say, the finance-company
lobby did not recommend the introduc
tion of neighborhood credit unions

whose interest is low.

Landlord-tenant laws are also filled w
bias against the poor. They have bee
writen by the landlords’ lobby, making
the tenant's duty to pay rent absolute and
the landlord’s duty to make repairs prac
ically nonexistent.

Disemployment due го technological
advances is becoming endemic. Private
dustry will not be able to take care of
the employment needs of our mounting
population. Yet no public sector of con
sequence is provided. Only the welfare
system is offered and in the eyes of the
poor, it pays the poor to be poor.

Another main source of disaffection
among our youth stems from the reckless
way in which the establishment has de
spoiled the earth. The matter was put
recently by a 16-year-old boy, who asked
his father, "Why did you let me be
born?” His father, taken aback, asked
the reason for the silly question. The
question turned out to be relevant.

At the present rate of the use of
oxygen in the air, it may not be long
before there is not enough for people to
breathe. The percentage of carbon diox-
ide in some areas is already d:
high. Sunshine and green leaves may
be able to make up the growing defi
су of oxygen that exists onl
belt around the earth,

Everyone knows—indluding the youth-
ful dissenters—that Lake Erie is now
only a tub filled with stinking, sev
and wastes. Many of our rivers
sewers, Our estuarics—essential breedii
grounds for ma
either destroyed by construction projects
or poisoned by pollution. The virgin
stands of timber arc virtually gone. Only
remnants of the onceimmortal redwoods
remain. Pesticides have killed millions of
birds, putting some of them in line
extinction. Hundreds of trout streams
have been destroyed by highway engi-
rs and their faulty plans. The wilder

ness disappears each year under (he
ravages of bulldozers. highway builders
and men in search of metals that will

make them rich. Our coast lines are being
ruined by men who look for oil yet have
not mastered the technology enough to
know how to protect the public interest in

the process.
The youthful dissenters arc ex-
perts in these matters. But when they see
(concluded оп page 257)

not

“BEAUTY TRAP"
BEAUTY

actress, model and now author, jeanne rejaunier
has concocted a sexpourri of life among the mannequins
thats spiked with all the ingredients of a best seller

166

A COMMODITY that is used and Шеп thrown

BEAUTY
е long.” declares

y when something better comes
lovely Jeanne Rejaunier, who lived through ten years of
oncaméra commercials before quitting to write The
Beauty Trap. Broadly based on her modeling experi
s novel both reflects and denounces what
she calls "the American dream—a culture which places
a premium on beauty, success and status, and which lives
by the images Madison Avenue dictates.” Jeanne, who
refuses to be caught in the trap, has never relied solely
on her looks: She mastered three languages as a child,
studied piano, violin and voice, and won her share of
ribbons in equitation. A Vassar graduate, she also attended
the Sorbonne, the University of Pisa and Rome's Goethe-
schule. After leaving the modeling scene, Jeanne moved
to Hollywood, landed several movie and television roles
nd enrolled in a cri writing workshop at UCLA.
Now worki on four more books, she has been asked
to war in the film version of The Beauty Trap, but
says, "I haven't made а decision. Anything that
away from writing has to be carefully weighed." He

the bridal path, she feels that “the conventional typ
ge, for the sake of society, is not for me. All too
often, women forfeit their individualism. | won't do
that.” Whatever her future holds is certain to be founded
on more than pulchritude. As Jeanne put it when she
posed for us among some auto wrecks, “Beauty be
comes tacky if there's nothing behind it but junk, and
ends up—like all material things—in the junk yard.

Predictably, there's no such fate in store for this beauty

AOHAVTd

“Happy New Year, Herbie, dear—wherever you are."

168

THE PAST AS FUTURE:
A NONLINEAR PROBE

the torrent of mind-blowing images and events that was the sixties is visualized by

an artist in his thi

the life-style explosion of the generation imprinted in

that decade is projected for the seventies and beyond by a writer in his twenties

opinion By JACOB BRACKMAN
collage By HARRY BOURAS

Looking at the decade that has just passed,
even from close range. no one could fail to sense
that there was something very special —and
terrible—about it. The Sixties weren't just an-
other ten years of our lives. Generational conti-
nuity vanished, the quality of behavior was
radically altered. This alteration showed itself
most dramatically, most beautifully and most
brutally in the children of the decade, those who
were in their teens at its inception and came
of age toward its close. They were different.
perhaps fundamentally, from all the generations
that preceded them: and it is by watching them
that their elders are beginning to realize how
really different the world is—and will be.

There has always been conflict between gen-
erations—more so as the rate of change has
accelerated. But those who see the present split
as only quantitatively greater than that between
the Beats and the pre-Beats, for example, are
sorely self-deceived. What we may discern today
is not the high point in an evolutionary graph,
it is a revolutionary quantum leap. The line
graph no longer applies: The growing edge of
the new generation that is emerging from the
Sixties does not constitute merely a new line; it
coníronts a geometrically expanding cluster of
lines, of myriad options freed from the clutches
of the past.

Clearly, there are those of the new generation,
perhaps a numerical majority, who are ernulative
of their elders, whose goal is to find a niche
within the establishment, from which some of
them may strive to improve it. But early in the
Sixties, the direction of emulation was reversed.
Not only did Junior stop looking up to Dad, the
generation in power began looking down to its
children as the sources of ideas and attitudes,
and as models for action and participation a
world away from the anomie, disaffiliation and
passivity of the Forties and Fifties. In the Sixties.
youth became the model for age in everything
from fashions in cars and clothing to idiomatic
speech: New words in hipster patois were barely
coined before being adapted by Madison Avenue.
Today. the aim of many parents, consciously or
not, is to be chips off the new block.

Meanwhile, we continue to hear much—
mainly from the obsolescent generation—about

the “noisy minority” that distracts our attention
from the “good” mainstream of young straights.
But the magnetism of the avant-garde is working
its way on the majority. The depth of the resulting
schism between the generations may be meas-
ured by the fact that the activists of earlier “new”
generations castigated their elders for a betrayal
of shared ideals, whereas today the ideals, the
assumptions concerning desirable goals, are no
longer the same. The new life style and world
view are not bred of disillusionment; rather, they
reflect outright rejection—and the will to totally
restructure society.

A year ago, Fortune magazine published the
results of an intensive survey it had conducted
with 718 young people between the ages of
18 and 24. Among its key findings was the
fact that a full 50 percent of those whom
Fortune called “the forerunner group’’—students,
mostly in the humanities, who said that they had
gone to college primarily for other than practical
reasons—thought that the American society was
sick. There is no evidence to suggest that a clear
majority of under-30-year-old Americans are rad-
ically at odds with adult society; but there is
evidence on every hand—the Fortune survey,
the Woodstock rock festival, the extent of the
participation in the October 15, 1969, Vietnam
moratorium—to support the assertion that the
current genetation gap is unique in our history.

We are speaking of a group that has little past
reference beyond the generally bland Fifties—
and the youngest dont even have that—with
which to compare and put in perspective the in
credible input of the Sixties. They have grown
up with careening technology, racial tension,
ecological suicide, nuclear terror, affluence, assas-
sination, tiot—and a war that fills most of them
with shame and loathing. And what they didn't
see of all this out of their front windows, they
watched on television. When the radicals in
Chicago shouted at police, “The whole world is
watching,” they might just as weil have added.
“And we have been watching everything.”

Not only TV but all of the media proliferated
explosively. Even ten years ago, intelligent fathers
and sons—no matter how violently they dis-
agreed—could enter into a dialog from an over-
lapping corpus of books read, movies seen, music

listened to. Today's youth has its own books.
movies, music—a music that is privately, fiercely
regarded as its own.

Further, the young people find themselves with
a power their age group never had before: the
power of numbers. There are simply more of
them than anyone else. Suddenly, they are no
longer a subculture; they are emerging as a
counterculture—not just nationally but world-
wide. Beyond finding new ways to do old things.
a large slice of this generation is finding new
things to do. They dorrt argue with or just sneer
at their parents, the way most generations before
did; they ignore or attack them. They have
stopped drinking and started using drugs. They
have let their hair grow and they dress in funky
clothes—or not at all. They have turned their
backs on furtive and guilt-ridden coupling in
favor of sexual honesty and freedom. Thousands
of them went off to Dad's alma mater not to
reform it but to revolutionize it, even at the cost
of burning it down. And, finally, when the estab-
lishment gave them the biggest gift it could
conceive—a moon landing —a lot of them didn't
care. Indeed, for many in this generation, espe-
cially for the spearhead group. the space program
comes not too far after the ABM as a prime

symbol of the crazily skewed priorities of a society
that they want to transform, not merely to reform,
as generations before them had wished to do.

Jacob Brackman is a young writer who grew
up with this generation. His writing style—
personal, nonlinear, disjunct—is very much a
product of what he's seen and the way he's seen
it through these years. In “The Past As Future,”
he plays his impressions of the Sixties against
one another in order to project something of
what the years ahead may bring. He makes no
pretense of speaking for his generation; the very
thought of spokesmanship often seems irrelevant
to a generation questing for individualism. If
anything about Brackman's words may be said
to typify his peers, it is that he is speaking for
himself. that he is holding an internal dialog
wherein he proposes questions and examines
possibilities, rather than codifying conclusions.
Brackman’s probe is complemented visually by
artist Harry Bouras“ four-page foldout collage,
in which a juxtaposition of faces, objects and
events from the Sixties predict as much as they
recall. Both words and pictures make it clear
that only man's knowledge of inner space—
his own— will see him through the Seventies
and beyond.

A. THE BEGINNING. of the decade now

ended, | was 16 years old. marginally adjusted.
It seemed no sign of precocity then to be just
barely making it through my days. | was, after
all. adolescent. | believed my condition biological,
not historical

1 believed being lost led. in due course, to
getting found. Certainly, | never envisioned a
career of being lost.

In periods of hopefulness, | conceived my
confusion as a prelude to some state of ma-
turity Seeing no maturity around | could
emulate, I'd have to invent that for myself. I'd
not choose Richard Nixon for my model, not
Ken Kesey—not anyone visible. Me and my
friends. We would redefine adulthood

I'd heard terrible tales of the struggle for sur-
vival. Meanwhile, freed from that, my own
struggle— more awful for its puniness—was to
hold myself together. Resist consciousness, not
let it overwhelm me. Brush my teeth. Comb
my hair.

Now it seems that anyone | meet who is not
completely lost is completely lost. Conversely.
anyone who seems to the least degree found
now seems lost. Otherwise, 1 would test for
something peculiar in my chemistry.

1 abandoned waiting for the bottom to drop
out of my bewilderment, gave myself up to the
currents of the decade. | repeated to myself,
"Float downstream," at times too frightened to

understand the words. | could not believe in any
Pilgrim's Prayer. “OM” never succeeded in
calming me.

After a rash of senseless multiple murders, 1
stayed indoors for some days. l lost all empathy
with people who felt they could continue walking
in the streets, going to the grocery. Most likely,
some guy in Food Fair would tell them to lie on
the floor, feet together to form an asterisk, and
then shoot them to death one by one, with a
sawed-off shotgun.

Each scene of my mind's movie contained its
unmistakable portents of catastrophe. When the
telephone rang, my camera zoomed in and
framed it in sinister close-up. Knocks on my
door came amplified through echo chambers.

Was | merely madder those several days or
closer to awareness? Afterward. thinking back
on them, | kept changing my mind. One mo-
ments paranoia became the next moment's
sure premonition. Sometimes | would realize
with ephemeral conviction that the future would
be like that. For long periods, one would not
venture out of doors. Later, one would be unable
to say for certain why one had stayed inside.

What would "inside," then. be like? More
comfortable, to reckon euphemistically Tiny.
space-capsule- inspired, supercontrolled environ-
ments. Not only the seasons but day and night
grown arbitrary. Built-in stimulation for every
sense, ingestible mood rectifiers, direct ticklings

In this retrospective overview of the Sixties, artist На!

у Bouras has distilled into a single panoramic collage the input overload

of images and events that traumatized and transformed those who grew !

ibsurd—and idealistic—during that unforgettable decade.

of the brain. Who could say exactly why we'd
find ourselves not going out much anymore? Our
reach hasn't got longer. It's just that everything's
being moved into reach.

Q. if you really want to know the truth

All remarks about the future are at best remarks
about the present—at worst. about one's own
temperament. You can now predict а comparably
wide range of futures for an individual, a nation,
the planet.

Our dispositions fluctuate. The scenarios of
our personal futures metamorphose in an hour's
daydreaming.

We sce ourselves enlightened: working, groov-
ing. intimate. potent. Laughing at the funny stuff.
Actively alive and celebrative—yes, even while
hosing down the conflagration that rages
around us.

We see ourselves diminished: puttering, dispir-
ited. Lolling anxiously in leisure that seems a
calm before the storm. Purchasing potions for
bed, potions we would not need if they could
help us. Exciting ourselves with spoon-fed fan-
tasies of other places and other, more excessive
mates.

We see ourselves destroyed: numbered, com-
puterized. propagandized, spied on. tapped,
hounded, busted, lobotomized, big-brothered to
smithereens.

Similarly, the grand scenario of our collective
future revises itself according to the disposition
of the moment. It undulates, soars or plunges.

One uses the future as a metaphor. By pre-
tending to forecast. one responds to the present
moment, brings certain of its features into relief.
Prediction turns into a stylistic convention.

Generations to come will be no better able to
measure the "truth" of our divinations than we.
Suppose none of сиг fantasies come to pass—
what could. matter less? What counts, and will
count whenever they're disproved. is simply that
they were our fantasies.

We had hallucinations of Eden at the end of
the tunnel and hallucinations of torment, of
abyss. But because we could do no more than
fumble through our particular lives, each vision
produced its own paralysis in us. Each had a way
of sapping our most present energies

The unsettling Sixties: | could not possibly
have imagined that magical mystery tour. There
was no way to get from Port Huron to the
Pentagon, from Birmingham to Memphis, from
Tonkin to Khe Sanh, from the West Village to the
Haight, from Berkeley to Cornell—no way to get
from then and there to now and here: none.
anyhow, that | can reconstruct. The Sixties put
me through the soak-churn-wash-rinse cycles.

Yes, there were months flecking the decade

when | burned with one salvation or another.
That happened to many of us.

The uncertainty around us was often so intense
that scarcely had we begun to rap out our manic
niffs—our answer or attitude—when crowds
would gather. By the ring of our conviction, by
the fire in our eyes, we would gain disciples.

Before long, we would return to them apolo-
getically. "Back to Go," we would say, with
evanescent wisdom. "We must have been crazy
back then. We were а little stoned out. It's back
to Go for all of us.”

What was the decade to the children who
knew no other? It sent us (we in our 20s now)
into aberrant stratospheric orbits. We'd absorbed
ideas of continuity in the late Forties and Fifties.
The Sixties played havoc with them. But what
were the Sixties as a launching pad?

Can | decipher that from the babble of some
11-year-old amphetamine freaks | know? If |
listen as hard as can be?

W have reached that moment in human

history when our capacity to alter our environ-
ments and selves no longer has any foreseeable
limit. Once prediction would concern itself with
gadgetry. Now that сайае1$ are all in the cards.
prediction must deal with adaptation, with social
stress, With mountainous confusion and over-
whelming choice.

Those of us who postponed the irrevocable
decisions could never tell for sure. for long, what
was coming off. At the end of the decade now
beginning. | will be 36. Can I flow with changes
around the bend?

Will the Seventies put me through spin-dry?
Will they petch up my outlook for the Eighties?
Will there be well-oiled institutions to cope with
my kind of uncertainty?

| understand. | must let the times massage me.
| must lie loose and flabby, etherized. Mustn't
think so goddamn much. “Every time the train
of history goes around a corner. the thinkers fall
off,” Marx said.

How can we dwell upon probability, anyhow?
Won't a dozen more nuclear capacities arise in
the next so-many years? Rocket megatons will
be aimed from here to there to here, crisscrossing
the globe like tourist routes. Each season will
bring its cacophony of international crises,
threats, counterultimatums, rattled warheads. We
citizens will wait dumbly, fingers crossed, never
knowing what may arrive out of tomorrow s
skies, what contretemps has our number on it.

That situation will not persist indefinitely.
Perhaps not for long at all, in the scheme of
human time. What smart money will make book
оп your dying of natural causes?

So shall we march and join? Found impotent

disarmament cells? Draw up imposing documents
for world confederation? Work toward a whispery
voice within the system? Or shall we simply give
а nod devastation's way, exclude her from our
talk of what's in store? All prediction rests upon
one unspcken absurdity: Let's assume nothing
terrible happens.

Light-years more than any previous future, ours
remains a future that has to be, and will be, made.
And we will make it, surely, though we may do
so with such paucity of insight that it will seem,
like futures past, simply to have happened to us.

We moved the plenet so close to the brink
that forestalling apocalypse became an hour-by-
hour affair. We were under pressure. No breather
for long-renge plens. Anyway. for years we'd
harbored, half consciously, the suspicion that
apocalypse was already upon us.

Waiting for the climactic nuclear attack—
under polluted skies. euthanasia to our jammed
cities—we would not notice an apocalypse as
obvious and acceptable as the traffic lights.

Do we correctly imagine that the planet itself
has been extended the chance for conclusive
failure within the span of a single human life?
That the best we can do is hang on for a bit?
We have never felt nearer to hell—or heaven.

The variables—for good. for ill—have grown
imponderable. Chances for our degradation mix
in each fine option. Catastrophe and utopia
locked everywhere in double strangle holds. Can
we picture, say, an intolerably controlled, syn-
thetic scene in which everyone feels terrific,
"fulfilled"?

The future? A matter of mood. You can now
read any future in the present, so tell us first how
you've been feeling.

There will be no respite, no deceleration.
Forget about the isolated breakthrough. Rather.
on all technofronts: collectively facilitating “ad-
vances." Their cumulation has become not merely
inexorable. It has become ordinary. What obvious
capabilities the next decades will usher in!

We've passed utterly out of the era when you
got Eli Whitney so you got the cotton gin, you
got Tom Edison so you got the light bulb
Revolutionary momentum no longer comes about
discretely, by particular leaps and bounds. The
very process of progress snowballs.

Dream something up. Mobilize the necessery
competencies. Presently have it on the table
before you. realized.

Oh, we're talking about revolutionary stuff, all
right. But if | listed several score imminent bold-
faced breakthroughs, there'd be nothing terribly
alarming among my items. If only because they
seem, en masse, to follow so inevitably. Even
what you've never imagined sounds logical,
familiar.

The stars of each breakthrough, heroic figures
that we fasten to a feat. will be accidental. They

* will be elevated arbitrarily; their visibility will
satisfy an old need of ours. They will be inter-

changeable with others. More surprising, we will
apprehend their interchangeability.

How, precisely, did the moon shot inspire kids?
Perhaps it showed them that even the most
spectacular feats will succumb to dull teamwork

Henceforth, our greatest possible triumphs
will be associated with regimented insipidity.
Who wants the giant leap when it depends on
crewcut aggregates?

W.. through “generations” in a fort-

night now. But though we are already half a
dozen different species, all of us now alive and
young—from parents born as we exploded bombs
on Japan to infants born after men romped upon
the lunar surface— participate in a single, numb-
ing generation as well. We are the touchstone.
By a hairsbreadth, we precede the future.

Taunted our whole lives with promises of
wellness to come. In every sense, we will be the
age that barely missed the boat. Missed not only
its material. medical, informational advantages
but its unconsciousness as well.

Are new sorts of humans in the womb, or born
already? Our children, who experience such
changes, will themselves be different. They will
be accommodated to change. Change will de-
fine them

With no capacity to share the nostalgia anc
regret that we feel in advance, how they will ter-
rify us! How they will fail to appreciate our terror.

What wes it we found to resent in our
parents? Not their treatment of us. We'd been
conscientiously, superbly Vaselined. No, we bris-
tled at their distraction from us, their distraction
from any trenchant nitty-gritty.

For much of their lives, scrambling, they'd had
no time for consciousness. Now. never having
cultivated the habit of it—having ruminated in-
sufficiently about what games might be worth
the effort—they fill their vacancy with compul-
sive rituals.

Yet however we ridiculed them, we must have
introjected those rituals of expectation for our-
selves, their children. How else did we come to
expect so unreasonably much of ourselves? And
for such slight exertion!

Our parents cautioned us not to look for
trouble, not to scrounge too avidly for life's red
meat. They told us we would come round in a
few years’ time. They did, though they were once
as boneheaded as we.

We imagined we, too, would get to occupy all
the usual positions in the immemorial cycle of
generations. Wouldn't our children, in tum, half
envy. half despise our blindness? And yet, by
what eternal rules would they be hipper than we?

Suppose we find ourselves, many years after
having begrudged our (continued on page 216)

THE MOURNER

he told the rabbi to take a good look at the corpse so hed know who he was talking about
fiction By BRUCE JAY FRIEDMAN ох: vav, Martin Eas Coast r

ms found himself driving out to the Long Island funeral of the Coast Gu
a total stranger. A habit of his was to take a
quick check of the obit section in The New York Times each suddenly found his interest stirred
day, concentrating on the important deaths. then se ng out ent source, Was it the sheer

of the alsorans. The listing — innocuousness of the item? OL Mandel's life? He traveled on
that caught his eye on this particular day was that of Norbert — to other sec . sports and сусп maritime.
Mandel, although Gans did not have the faintest idea why he but (he Mandel story now began to prick at him in a way
should be interested in the passing of this obsc fellow. Thy that he could not ignore; he turned back to the modest
item said that Mandel, of Syosset, Long Island. had died ofa paragraph and read it again and again. until he knew it
heart leaving behind (wo sisters, Rose by heart and fel a sweeping compulsion (o race out to
and Sylvia, also one son, a Brooklyn optometrist named — Mandel’s funeral, which was being held in a memorial chapel
Phillip. It said, additionally. that Mandel had served on an — on the south shore of Long Island. (continued on page 190)

Lestate board and m
An ordinary life,

y years back had been i
sod knows, with noii
е. Gans read the item

bout

gihe a fire bre

m-famous ones and som

LUUSTRATION BY PAUL GIOVANOPOULOS

177

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— 7 7 К
4 { M

B JEAN SHEPHERD 7INGMEISTER
and the TREACHEROUS
EIGHTER FROM DECATUR

the motley crew of company k gets a weekend pass to town,
where it tastes the forbidden fruits of passion, the heady pleasures
of the gaming arena and the bitter dregs of human chicanery

like sergeant behind the desk
ago induction center-—where
L stood naked in a line of naked men
that must have stretched for two miles—
hunched over my Yellow Form.
“You Jewish?"
‘Nope
JK. Yer Protestant.” He stamped
with a heavy hand on my form
Weakly, | protested, “Nope.”
"Whadd i t no
Catholic or Jew." His BB-shot eyes tried
to focus on me. It wasn't casy. He had

the look of a man who had been sitting
at a desk with naked bodies moving past
him for maybe a hundred years. Is
almost impossible to see onc body after
that

ү gotta be Protestant,"

Actually, if s anything in those
days, I was closer to a druid.

Move on, Mack.”

I became a Protestant by default

Iw

Several months and countless indigni-
ties later, I sat on my footlocker, sucking
on one of the two aluminum dog tags
that hung from my neck. They

stamped P (lor Protestant) and sroon

were

ТУРЕ o. Life in Company K was moving
at its usual oozing pace

Stretched out full length on the next
bunk. Gasser—weating only rumpled
o.d though dead, his
staring glassily ar
the rough board ceiling of our leaky
barracks. The bunk
beneath the weight of Pfc
our ranking who

tench
across the

socks—lay as
mouth open, his ey
above me

Zinsmcister,
laboriously
knife.
aisle.

noncom
pared his toenails with
Roswell T. Edwards,

bent over а pair of GI shoes and rubbed

with manic intensi
didn't know it

a job—although we
the time—he was to

work at u
years, Big

on h
space,

eminingly for four long
at Goldberg, squatting, heavily

foodocker, just stared up into
the rich folds of his belly exuding
sweat and profound boredom.

This was a representative cross section
of Company K, а hapless band of Signal
Corps technicians thar formed the very
bouom of the immense heap of the
Armed Forces. Armed with oscilloscope.

avithm tables and soldering iron, we

sed upon the barricades of democrit
cy, nervous, and ited
nervous because we knew that the Signal
Corps had a fantastically high casualty

hungry near

179

PLAYBOY

180

te, hungry because of the mess hall and
shted because we were born that
ny K, recently formed, had
pped by sealed troop train to
of the most infamous hellholes ever
d nature. The camp,
in of red mud and
Is of the Ozark
that even the
desnakes considered

local skunks
Godforsaken.

Gaser heaved himself upright and
brushed frantically at his chest, dog tags
clanki

“Your goddamn toen:
over me!”

Gasser,” said Zinsmeister with p:
condescension, “those will one day be
priceless relics and the devout will pil-
observe

grimage many miles to them
when they are ned.”
“Oh, Chris!” Gasser snorted,

res, that is true, They may even say
that.” Zinsmeister returned to his surgery.

For 13 weeks—13 endless, backbrcak-
nched weeks-
ied то the company area, awaiting
orders. From time to time, we heard
rumors that an outside world existed
beyond the borders of the camp. But no
one ever actually talked to a GE who had
gotten out. One hundred thirty-five thou
sand enlisted men marched, squatted,
crawled, wallowed, cursed, plotted. and
mildewed in the constant, drizzling Mis
souri rain,

It was Thursday night; not that il
made much difference, except that "Thurs
day was the day belore Friday and Friday
was the day of the dreaded “GI part
an insane orgy of crawling атом
barracks floor with brushes
and hot water that

ight, getting ready for the Sa
spection. Men at other camps, we heard.
got weekend passes; we got V. D. lectures
—а great way to spend a Sunday, espe-

There wasn't а man in the entire coi
pany who wouldn't have given his eye-
teeth for a good case of V. D. Or at least
the opportunity to get one.

the bulge that Zinsmeister made in (he
one above me,

"Give the bastard one for m
tered Gasser.

mut-

If hour or so before lights
t magic moment in barracks life
L E. M. instinctively contemplate

navels. The rain roared down on
the roof. The yellow light from the na
ked bulbs was just bright enough to keep
you but not bright enough to
read by. At the far end of the barracks.
a much older, grayish sort of GI hunched
over the endless letter he was
writing. He never spoke to any of us. He
just wrote on and on. One day. he disap
peared from the barracks and we never

awake

jain. We never even knew his

hed behind my bunk, wok dow
and squeezed off a few dry
dls, carefully sighting at the li
bulbs. Goldberg opened his heavy-lidded
eyes sleepily.

in drenched Roswell T. Edwards.
“Close the god door!” he yelled.
> our company driver, his por
ping, slammed the door shut, tin
hat pulled low over his red-rimmed eyes

He yanked off one soggy leather driving
it at

glove, wadded and threw
Edwards.

‘Screw you."

Ah. Elkins. Our winged couri
intrepid jeep pilot, you are i
mood.”

Zinsmeister spoke the truth
like the rest of us, really didn't know
why he was there. A ycar before, seduced
by a Preston Foster Air Cadet movie, he
had rushed down to the recruiting sta-
tion with visions of silver wings, а 50-
and

up

mission crush cap 10 confirmed
bogeys. Shortly after the papers were
signed and the die was cast, it was di:
covered that Elkins’ depth perception.
made him about as safe in the air as a
һай imes, he would
sit on his bunk, brooding, tying to
touch his extended index fingers togeth-
E g softly as, time after time,

they passed each other three inches
part. He drove as he imagined a fighter
pilot would dive into combs

‘Tonight, hi
touched with just the suggestion of sadis-
tic gaiety. He clumped over to his bunk
and stripped off his poncho, spraying the
surrounding sacks with icy Missouri rain
water. A few hnddled figures stirred and

“I don't know whether 1 ought to tell
you guys or not... .”

He continued tugging at the laces with
exaggerated concentration. After three
months of total isolation from the out
le world, Company K gobbled up ai
scrap of rumor or even innu
pack of maddened pi
the ba

“Tell us what?"

Our end of the barracks was suddenly
alert, Even Zinsmeister stopped. paving
Elkins had something to say

“The way you guys pile the crap on
пе, | don't know whether you deserve
1" His voice was mufled as he pulled
the top half of his long johns over his
head.

“C'mon, Elkins. Don't put us thro
that routine again.” Edwards spoke in
low, anxious voice, Our official company
wortier, Edwards supplied us with a mini.

mum of two dozen d
Every company has a soothsayer. one who
s the function of the Greek ch
always predicting ultimate. disaster
lwards turned to the rest of
es blank and fearful. "I told. you

а send us to Bı That guy
1 know in Headquarters Company was

prophecies a day

They got malaria there dat"
ou know what just come in to the

the ass end
triers from the

terrupted Elk
of one a” them weapon
motor pool?”

We leaned forward expe
lowered his voice to a hoarse.
torial whisper:

“They just got а
Cases of Milky-Ways.”

The elicet was electric, Instantly, the

y. Elkins

conspira

nt of four

ship

arracks was in an nproar—guys leaping
out of bed, others struggling into fa-

tigues, while those still
dered through the
door. The sight of E
of stolen. Milky-Ways
proved that thi
X, a dreary b
had anything wor
collection of shiny goldfringed
shaped pillows with blinding purple let
TO MY DARLING SW ART or 10
MY DEAR HEART MOIIIER—and the hated
crossed-flag insignia of the Signal Corps
I they regularly sold at the
PX. They also had a display case full of
way up to battal
which, of course,
of us. Sitting i
k GI beer—when
they had it—looking at other Gls and
at the two acneencrusted hillbilly girls
who worked the cash register, represented
the total social life open to Company К

Already, a di u rın halfway
around the building had formed. We
stood in the drenching downpour, inch.
ing forward in fits and starts, like some
arthritic caterpillar. We were used 10
lines, We were used 10 тай were
used to waiting. Minutes before the bi
gray bullhorns blew taps for lights out,
we began the half k back to the
company area, each of us carrying the
legal maximum two precious Milky
Way bars io. away
from the rain. Later, I lay under my
blanket, listening to the rain and gnaw-
ng frugally on a Milky-Way. 1 had
stashed the other in а safe place in one
of my barracks bags for emergency use
Above me. Zinsmeister shifted position.
causing the bunk to creak and groan. I
d him peeling his Milky Way in the
dark. Silently, Company K chewed and
pondered the rain on the roof. Life was
complete.

At chow just befor
licvable bomb hit. W just after
five AM. when the rain was at its

(continued on page 281)

nto his footlocker
anor, Qu

was no idle r

n; а
һе;

noncom stripes all the
ion sergeant major.
meant nothing to an
the PX, d

deep under his ponc

the unbe

past delightful dozen

Nancy McNeil MISS JULY

PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW

ASTROLOGERS are in strong disagreement over whether or
not we are yet living in the Age of Aquarius. The PI

mates of 1969, along with so many of those who graced
centerfolds of years past, seem to lend themselves strongly
p that believes we are well into Aquarius, with
its incumbent freedoms of expression and life style or,
in other words, a period of 20 centuries or so in which
the thing to do is—your own thing. For many of last
year's girls, being a Playmate has opened up fresh vistas.
July's Nancy McNeil, who just turned 22 under the sign

to the c

of Sagittarius (frank, honest and gregarious), was
bridesmaid when she agged as a most likely Play-
nce Nancy appeared in the gatefold, she's dis-
covered that she has а 1 talent for dealing with
people and is now on her way toward a promising
eer in promotion. Nancy also found that small planes
are her She was up in a single-engine job for the

first time recently and says, “It was the wildest expe
ence of my life.” For a look at last year's other high

flying Playmates, let your radar scan the following pag,

181

Lorrie Menconi
MISS FEBRUARY

Since she appeared as our Playmate
for February, lovely Lorrie has
been lured from her home in San
Diego to Hollywood, with its end
ofthe-rainbow promise of a career
in movies and television. Twenty
one-year-old Lorrie already misses
her regular visits to the famous San
Diego Zoo—she's totally hooked on
animals—and the surf scene she
made so often around Del Mar and
La Jolla, Meanwhile, until she gets
a foot in the studio door, Lorrie's
working for a Hollywood veterinar-
ian. Even though Miss February's
only a receptionist, the job pays a
bonus in keeping her near animals—
something she used to do for free.

Shay Knuth
MISS SEPTEMBER

This past year, the golden-tressed
native of Milwaukee left the city
that made beer famous far behind.
While a Bunny the Lake Geneva

boy Club-Hotel, Shay took a
leave of absence and drove several
thousand miles to Mexico City.
Enrolled at the University of the
Americas, Miss September studied
Spanish, philosophy, international
relations, and was a onegirl good-
will mission. But, at the end of last
summer's term, she hopped a jet for
а quick visit home and then on to
London, where she’s a Bunny again.
Shay and London are hitting it off
famously. She only one com
plaint: Mexican food is hard to find

orna Hopper
MISS APRIL

New Orleans, which lays claim to
all sorts of attractions—the French
Quarter, the birthplace of jazz, Cre
ole cooking—has something new to
brag about: rtaynoy’s 19-year-old
Miss April, who is currently bright
ening the scene as a Bunny in the
New Orleans Club, The much
traveled Lorna started as a Bunny in
Chicago and, after becoming April’s
Playmate, took a long vacation in
Mexico before going to the Crescent
City. Her ‘Texasborn folks moved
to Los Angeles (which Lorna quickly
learned to love) after spending two
years in Manchester, England. As @
for New Orleans, Lorna is em.
Every day is Mardi Gras.

SUE

Debbie Hooper
MISS AUGUST

Debbie, our Southern California
flower child, has turned into а ca-
reer woman working both sides of a
television camera. Soon after her
Playmate bow, she broke in as an
sistant in the production of tele.
sion commercials. Now Debbie's
in front of the cameras in a movie
being readied for a world television
premiere. Although production is
her forte, Miss August feels th
ing experience can only enl
her chances for success. Debbie es
capes her new pressure filled world
in her Laurel Canyon high on
a Hollywood hill. "In the unlikely
event of a clear day," she says, “I
can sce all the way to Griffith Park.”

Claudia Jennings
MISS NOVEMBER

From Milwaukee to Chi

Iywood, theater audiences have been
seeing Clandia since she was ten.
But her acting career took its big-
gest upturn after she appeared in
the gatefold two months ago. Bill
Cosby picked her to do a comedy
record with comedian Sandy Baron
and Susan St, James. Released on
the Decca label, the record, what
with Cosby having written the ma
terial, promised to be a smash and
a big boost for Claudia. After a suc-
cessful engagement as the female
lead in The Tender Trap in a Little
Rock theater, Claudia’s back in
Hollywood. With her is faithful Sam-
oyed, Latcho. Oh, for a dog's

Sally Sheffield
MISS MAY

To enjoy good health, happiness.
a solid marriage and a career to
keep me from stagnating.” Those
re the ambitions of our Miss M

who usually gets what she starts
afier. One of New York's better
horsewomen, Sally also is a pian.
ist, actress and guitarstrumming
folk singer. An inclination to globe
trot led her to spend eight months
on an Israeli kibbutz, Always on
guard against mental laziness, Miss
Sheffield is learning additional kan
guages, although she is already fluent
in French and Hebrew. And when
the ane, dark-eyed Sally is
sure to be out collecting more blue
ribbons for equestrian excellence.

Jean Вей
MISS OCTOBER

Are people friendlier in Houston or
Los Angeles? Having just moved
from her Texas home town to that
sprawling coastal metropolis, Jean
is far from making up her mind.
Her Playmate debut made the
black and beautiful Miss Bell an in
stant celebrity in Houston, where
The Houston Ром yan an interview
and her picture on the front page of
йу women’s section. On the other
hand, Hollywood has her up for а
role in a movie titled Dial the
Wrong Number. She's also appeared
at Chicago's Black Expo irade fair
in PrAvBOY'S booth and in Gary
for Mayor Hatcher Night. Jean
finds friendly people everywhere

Lestie Bianchini
MISS JANUARY

Alas, Leslie, the Bunny by ше Bay,
has deserted those hilltops of San
Francisco—tor the cool, crisp air of
Denver and its panoramic scenery.
where for the moment she's revel
ing in a familiar rustic life (she
grew up on her father's turkey
[arm in Ilinois). Among the bucolic
pleasures Miss January is enjoying
around Denver is fishing the many
secluded trout s ans in the г:
rounding mountains. Although the
lithe miss is considering several
lucrative modelagency assignments
in New York—and Manhattan's
lofty stone canyons may lure her
away yet—it will take a lot to uproot
Leslie from her pastoral pursuits

Helena Antonaccio
MISS JUNE

All kinds of ideas are buzzing around
in the head of this twinkle-cyed
miss from New Jersey. With

ings from her Playm

bought a yellow Must

planning а trip to Florida. Becom
ing a stewardess is a possibility, but
Helena is pleased about an offer for
a speaking part in a movie that will
star either Steve McQueen or Mar
lon Brando. Meanwhile, she is a
standout Bunny in the Living Room
of New York's Playboy Club and at
the same time is studying astrology
Miss June’s trying to decide whether
she's Pisces or Aries—March 21, her

birth date, could go either way

Helena favors funsecking Pisces

Kathy MacDonald
MISS MARCH
Kathy received more than 2000 ler.

ters from Ameri Servicemen in
Vietnam and ‘Thailand after she

made her way in to the pages of
PLAvBOY. As а result, the blue-eyed
blonde was booked for a meet-the-
troops tour of the front lines Last
fall

ith actor
in Beverly Hi

n Tully. Now liv
s, Kathy is busy
breaking into television. Miss March
has already appeared in a pilot va.
riety show tied Meet Me at Mar-
ad on Playboy After Dark
Kathy, who became our

Club, finds herself
demand for video commercials. 1
reasons are

Gloria Root
MISS DECEMBER

Our Miss December is an activist in

the politics of the New Left. "Young
people,” says Gloria, “aren't push-
ing any particular life style—just the
freedom to choose. The youth revo-
lution bridges all boundari
became an activist after fleeing the
inactivity of being a telephone op-
erator in Chicago and has been liv
ing her convictions ever since. Gloria
first crisscrossed the U. ü

ht after her sarring role in
last month's centerfold, Gloria took
off for a long stay in Europe, where
she plans to groove in such Old
World headquarters of radical fer-
ment as London and Amsterdam.

PLAYBOY

190

THEMOURNER se ron pa 1777

had happened at some idle
к in his Ше, it might have made
some sense. But Gans was busier tha
in the middle of moving his ce
ics plant to 2 new location on Lower
fth. Avenue, after 20 years of being in
the same place. It was aggravat
even after the move, it would
months before Gans really settled in to
the new quarters. Yet you could hardly
call Mandel’s funeral a diversi
to Puerto Rico would h
Nor was Gans the type of fellow who
particularly enjoyed funerals, His moth
er and father were still living. No on
terribly close to him had died up to now,
just some aunts and uncles and a couple
of nice friends whose deaths annoyed
rather than grieved him. Gans had prob-
ably contributed to one aunts death,
come to think of i. A woman in the
hospital bed next wo Aunt Edna had
attacked а book the ш Gans held
ler his arm. Gans struck back. defend-
ig the volume, and а debate began over
poor Aunt Edna's head, as she fought a
tattered intravenous battle for life

The day of Mandel's funeral, Gans
took a slow drive to the memorial chap-
el, allowing an extra half hour for possi
ble traffic problems and in case he lost
way on the south shore, which had
always been tricky going for him. On the
way, he thought a little about Mandel
ed him n avercoat, also
rd, although a totally nonrakish
one. Mandel struck him as being a tea
drinker and somcone who dressed care
fully against the cold. owning a good
stock of mufflers and galoshes. Gans did
not particularly like Mandel's association
with the East Coast real-estate board, but
at the same time, he saw him as а small
property owner, not really that much at
home with the big boys and actually
decent fellow who was a good touch.
particularly where Negroes were con
cerned, as long as they didn't overdo it
He liked the sound of Mandel's two
siters, Rose and Sylvia, envision
them as buxom, good-natured, wonderful
cooks, enjoying а good pinch on the ass,
provided it remained on the hearty and
noncrotic side. Phillip, the optometrist,
struck as being a momma's boy,
into a bit of a ball.breaking marriage, bur
not too bad a fellow; the Army, Gans
felt. had probably tough
bit. There was a chance. of course,
sans was completely wide of the mark,
but these were his speculations as he
breezed out to the chapel to get in on the
funeral of Norbert Mandel, a fellow
he didn't know from Adam

The chapel was part of an emporium
that lay just outside a shopping center
nd was used as well for bar mitzvahs
and catered alfairs of all kinds. A colored
anendant. in a chauffeu orm took
his car, saying, "No sweat, PH sce she

don't get wet." Inside the Gupeted chap-
fancral-parlor employee asked
if he were there, perchance, for Be
min Siegal. "No, Norbert Mandel,”
Gans. The attendant said they had N
del on the second floor

Before climbing
the stairs, Gans stopped to relieve him-
self in the chapel john and realized he

always did that before going in to watch
funeral services. Did this have some si
nificance, he wondered, a quick expul-
sion of guilt, а swift return to a pure
state? Or was it just the long dr
There was only а small turn
Mandel. Those on hand had not even
bothered. to spre: nd make the
place seem a Mandel's
friends and relatives were all gathered
together in the first half-dozen rows, giv
ing the chapel the look of an off-Broad
way show that had opened to generally
poor notices. Gans estimated that he was
about 15 minutes early, but he had the
feeling few additional mourners
were going to turn up and he was right
bout that. Somehow he had sensed that
Mandel was not going to draw much of а
crowd. Was that why he had come? To
help the box office? Come to think of it,
funeral attendance had been on his
mind for some time. He had been par-
ularly worried, for example. that his
her, once the old man went under,
would draw only a meager crowd. His
father kept to himself. had only a sprin
kling of friends. If Gans had to make up
a list of mourners for his dad, he was
sure he would not be able to go beyond
a dozen the old man could count on to
turn up, rain or shine. Thi
bling to Gans: in addition
what there was a rabbi could actu
about his dad. ‘That he was
kept his nose clean.
that nice. People sec an old grandmother
crossing а street and assume she's а saint.
She might have been a triple ax murder-
er as a young girl in Poland and gotten
away with it, thanks to lax Polish law
enforcement, Who said old was autom:
ically good and kind? Who said old and
short meant gente and well-meaning?
Gans's own funeral was an entirely dif-
ferent story. He wasn't worried much
about that one. At least not about the
turnout, He had a million friends and
they would be sure to pack the place. His
mother, too, could be counted on to fill
и least three quarters of any house: if
you got a good rabbi. who knew some
thing about her. who could really get her
essence, there wouldn't be much of a
problem in coming up with sendoff
ecdotes. She didn't belong to any organ-
ions but she had handed ош plenty
of laughs in her time. И would be a
tremendous shame if she were handled by
some rabbi who didn't know the frst
g about her. He had often thought of
doing his mothers eulogy himself; bi

was uou
he wondered

wouldn't that be like a playwright com
posing his own notices

Gams felt a little conspicuous, sitting
n the back by himself, and didn’t relax
until three middle-aged ladies cime
and took seats a row in front of him, He

had diem figured for cousins from out ol
town who had taken a train in from
Philadelphia. They did not seem deeply

pained by the loss of Mandel and might
have been preparing io sec à. Wednesday
matinee on Broadway. Their combined
mood seemed to range from айоо! 1
ams guessed they were
s with the family. probably over

ile difheuly picking €
and Sylvia. Norberts sisters, who
were seated їп the front row, wi
black veils and black coa. They
wept and blew their
deeply troubled by
had come out of the blue. P
only son. was a complete surprise to
Gans assumed he was the one who w
wedged between Rose
front row. He was се
boy. He was every bit of six. three
you could see beneath his clothes th
he was a bodybuilder. His jaw was tight.
his features absolut
simply wouldn't wa

fur

Let а woman get smart with this

in the next county. W
want to pet smart with
through a few hoops is what
prefer doing tor this customer

‘The rabbi came out at a little trot, a
slender fellow witi brow

girl would

inconspicuous. Gans did
rabbis, but wher

his was the ,
mboyant. low-pressure, v
modes, very Nixon Administration i
his approach to the pulpit. As he spoke,
one of the sisters, cither Rose or Sylvia
cried in the background, the bursts ot
tears and pity coming at random, not
ly coinciding with any particularly
poignant sections in the rabbi's addres.
“I regret to say that 1 did not know the
departed one very well." he began. "How
ever. those close to him assure me that
deed, my great loss. The hate
Norbert Mandel, whom we are here to
send to his well.carned rest u
bv all accounts. a decent,

kind.
te.
tally exemplary life.” He went on to say
that death, sorrowful as it must seem 10
those left behind in the valley of the

fair.
ritable man who led

living, was nor a tragedy when onc
looked upon it as a lifcfiled bata
being passed from one generation

а

ov perd

ps. as the satisfying
¢ drama, fully and
(continued on. page 276,

8 )

MARCO ROLY-POLY MEETS THE MYSTERIOUS FAST

humor By ROBERT MORLEY in which our intrepid explorer quenclus.

his thirst for adventure on a one-man tour de farce of mother russia and the inscrutable orient

ı was FIVE VEARS OLD when I volunteered
to stooge for the local conjurer at a
Christmas party. "What a nice litle
chap," he said. taking me on knee.
“But 1 think he needs oiling.” He pro-
duced a mammoth oilcan and threatened
me with it. I screamed and screamed and
screamed and screamed. Never again
have 1 screamed so loudly or so continu-
ously. The magic show had to be aban
doned, then the party. 1 screamed all the

pa

T

1
І

Wi
ZE NM

way home: I screamed when they were
putting me to bed; and I screamed in my
sleep for several nights to come. Was I,
Г ask myself, a normal child? Certainly.
1 have a natural horror of stooging.
“You will" said the rravsov editor,
“try sleeping on the lloor in Japan.”
“Naturally,” 1 replied, “I shall do
nothing of the kind. 1 am not a tourist.”
The tourist is the perpetual stooge.
Uhere is no activity that offers him more

opportunity to make a fool of himself.
The assumption is there almost. before
а man buys a plane ticket. By the time
he reaches the airport, the process is in
full swing

Most airports, and certainly all Euro.
pean ones, have been built and are
still operated as caule markets. How
long will it be before mankind is actu
ally marshaled to the plane by dogs,
cach country patriotically displaying its

PLAYBOY

192

land will have its bull-
dogs, slobbering and waddling threaten-
ingly behind us: France her poodles,
snapping at our heels; Germany Alsatians,
crouching menacingly: America—a pack
of various breeds. In a successful attempt
to break the tourist's spirit long before he
is airborne, the terminal authorities have
devised their fiendish drill. The loud-
speaker systems, adjusted every morning
by skilled engineers so that the an-
nouncer can just be heard but not un-
derstood, croak their instructions, One
inquires nervously of one's neighbor
whether he has received the message.
“Loud,” he replies, "but mot clear. 1
think passengers for Moscow on Flight
SUR 950 should proceed to gate 12 for
mediate embarkation.”

Now ensues the customary tug of war
with my nerves, already stretched to the
breaking point for fear of a last-moment
customs raid and the discovery of an
illegal seven pounds, 15 shillings in my
trouser pocket. I know if 1 comply, I
shall soon find myself tightly wedged on
a loading ramp, exits to which are guard-
cd by young women of ferocious mien,
whose regulation costumes inchide an
Edwardian motor veil knotted tightly
under their assertive chins. They will
€ no effort to open the gates for at
ther ten minutes. There is little
their so doing. The bus that is
ne ds still

preference? Engl

in

limbo. ‘The arms of my fellow passengers
are beginning to throb painfully under
the weight of the personal luggage they
e planned to cheat aboard. Shall 1

1
humiliate myself by joining the melee?
Dare 1 wait and risk being left behind?

Eventually, the bus arrives, the gates
open and the passengers surge toward
it. If anything could be less attractive
than the behavior of the ground май, it
is that of the passengers themselves. Each
is determined to secure a favorable place
on the plane and just sufficiently cun-
ning to realize that this can be achieved
only by being first off the bus. They
stand as near the door as possible, refus-
ing to move along and making it im-
possible for those who follow to enter.
ally, everyone is aboard save the one
dispensable, the bus driver himself.
When he puts in an appearance and
drives us away, the expression on his face
mirrors the contempt he rightly feels for
so craven a load.
Released from the hus, we push one
rather up the steps, squeeze ourselves
10 miniature seats and, if they are long
enough, which in my case they seldom
seem to be, adjust our seat belts and wait
for the stewardess insincere
able welcome. Why do we h
told the name of the capt
is a matter of supreme indifference (о
y of rail travel,

us

which far more was achieved in the
direction of passenger comfort, it was
never thought necessary to acquaint all
and sundry with the identity of the engi-
neer.

The credibility gap between airline
advertisements and airline performance
has a growth rate that must be the envy
of all economic experts. It isn't only that
the food is of increasingly poor quality
and that there is less and less room to
cat in, that the stewardesses become more
and more ungracious and the lavatories
smaller and fewer in relation to the pas-
senger load. It is that we tourists. by
being so cowardly and supine, have
brought it all on ourselves. Hence, my
resolve to defy the PLAYBOY editor when
Japan and sleep soundly on an inner-
spring matuess.

In point of fact, Japan was not my
iginal destination. I had intended to
explore China; but on presenting myself
at the Chinese embassy, 1 was rebuffed,
first by being directed to a side entrance,
and then, having been cautiously admit
ted to what must have been, in happier
days, the butler's pantry, by having my
request for a visa turned down, either by
the same embassy official three times or
once each by three different. embassy
officials. In Mao land, they not only look
alike, they dress alike. For am English-
шап to visit China, it was necessary,
apparently, to write to Peking. A letter
posted anywhere іп England would
reach their capital in two days. They
shrugged off my disbelief, courteously
refused my handshake and showed me to
the door. 1 no longer believe war with

s such a remote possibility. А

about global postage n
about global warfare. In any case, 1 hate
writing letters. 1 decided that if Chi
wouldn't haxe me, Russia probably would.
Intourist welcomed me with open
arms. There was no problem, they as-
sured me. about visiting the U.S.S.R. I
asked their advice on how I was to pay
for the journey, in view of the British
currency regulations, which allow a citi-
žen to take no more than the Bs
equivalent of $120 out of the cow
"They laughed uproariously. "You are an
artist,” they told me. "You will do an
іс wangle.” The only things they
dle were money and tickets.
The travel agent to whom they recom:
mended me had stepped straight from
the pages of a Len Deighton novel
There was am indefinable air of guilt
about him. He arranged everything: m
ht to Moscow and on to Leningrad,
the journey to Bukhara, Tashkent, Ir
Lutsk, from where he routed me on the
"rameSiberian Railway to Khabarovsk
‘And then?” 1 asked him.
“You can either come back or go on to
he told me. “There is a boat

ikhodka, easy to reach from Kha
k- but they don't like you hanging
round. You'd better leave it to me.” He
was a patient, friendly man with a hack
ing cough. 1 never saw him again. On
subsequent occasions, when 1 called
pick up the tickets, or my visa, or to
make further inquirics he was unavail
able. It fitted, 1 decided. His mission
accomplished, he had been withdrawn.
Perhaps somewhere behind the Iron Cur
tain ] might meet up with him again.
When at length 1 boarded the Acroftot
plane for Moscow at London Airport, 1
had a curious sensation of having done it
all before, on television.

Im a man who can't tell a Trident
from a Caravelle. The larger the plane,
the safer it is, as [ar as Lin concerned.
Nevertheless, on my flight to Moscow,
it was not the size of the Ilyushin but that
of the air hostesses that assuaged my
fears. Never before nor since have L own
with air hostesses heavier than 1.

In all other respects, the plane was
standard, even slightly substandard. The
interior decorations did mot include
painted-on starry skies nor terrestrial wall
paper. The caviar, when it appeared, wi
served in glass bowls. 1 do so prefer
straight (rom the

1n Moscow I played. possum, adjusting
myself to a small back bedroom in thc
Metropole, making no protest at the
plumbing, and fulfilling a minimum ol
engagements with Intourist: а quick run
round the Kremlin, a shuttle through
GUM, a scurry on the underground and,
for the rest, determining when in Rome
to uy to do what the Romans do. In
Rome itself, this presents few difficulties
but in Moscow, I found it almost impos
sible. What do the Muscovites do? 1
joined the crowds in Red Square and
milled around aimlessly. 1 joined the
queues and found myself rewarded w
unlikely treasures—teacups, watermelons,
pink woolen knickers and, on one occa
sion, a live mackerel їп a paper bag. 1
learned to accept and pay for all these
by the ritual prescribed in the U. 5. S. R.
Money is never handed over the counter,
chis must always be obtained for the
goods. 1 loiered in bookshops, walked
briskly through the parks, sat around in
cafés and bars.

Moscow is not a comfortable city. The
hotel bath towels are the skimpiest 1
have cver encountered, the soap mi
cule and of poor quality. the bed
course, the tiling cracked, the drapes
thin, the chairs poorly covered, the bed
side lamps faulty. There are nor enough
iters and (hey do their best not to
serve you. As soon as you alight at his
table, the waiter, with fury in his eyes
and a violent wave of his hand, indicates
that you are to take yourself off. The tech
nique is similar to that employed by bird
(continued on page 262)

i

wi

The Bill of Rights
Article 1.

Article 2.
A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people
to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.

Article 3.
No soldier shall. in time of peace, be quartered in any bouse without the consent of the
owner, nor in time of war but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Artide
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against
unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants sball issue but
upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place
to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Artide 5.
"No person shall be held to answer for a capital or other infamous crime unless оп a present-
1 ment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in
the е

without just compensation.
Article б.

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy tbe right to a speedy and public trial, by
an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, wbicb

Jn suits at common law, where tbe value in controversy shall exceed $20, the right of trial
by jury sball be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury sball be otberwise re-examined in any £
court of the United States than according to tbe rules of tbe common law.

Article 8.
Excessive Бай shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual
punishments inflicted.

Article 9.
‘The enumeration m the Constitution of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or dis-
parage others retained by the people.

Article 10.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to
the States, are reserved to the States resbectively, or to the people.

OUR BESIEGED BILL OF RIGHTS

the basic tenets of individual freedom are under attack by those
who would sacrifice these freedoms at the altar of law and order

sophisticated suggestions are based on the idea of “liber

article By THE HONORABLE ARTHUR J. GOLDBERG

THERE г

А controversy in American law that reflects the
ind division ol contemporary American soci
1

ing rate ol crime has led tc rch for solutions.
The frustration has bred drastic and desperate demands,
among them, various proposals to alter the Constitution

or recent Supreme Court interpretations of it—in the
hope that, thereby. law and order may be “restored.”
Some of the proposals have been made into slogans; for
example. “Take the handculls off the police." Even morc

aung” officials from constitutional restraints. These critics
do not put forth merely new and much-needed devices
lor the prevention of crime. such as better training and
higher pay lor the police. sufficient manpower for eflec
live patrol or improved techniques and equipment. ‘They
propose to alter the fundamental balance established in
the Bill of Rights between the power of government and
the autonomy of the individual. The Bill of Rights is to
be adjusted to meet our concern over crime. In par
lar, the Amendment has been attacked as a luxury

we cannot afford in the current crisis. Even such an 193

eminent. jurist as Henry Friendly of the
Federal Court of Appeals, Second Circuit,
has gone so far as to propose a consti-
mendment to reverse recent
tions of the self-ineri
provisions of the Fifth Amendment
Judge Friendly has been joined in this
demand by others in the judic
enforcement professions. One of the most
outspoken is former governor of New
York Thomas E. Dewey, who has said,
"We could ger along just as well if we
repealed the Fifth Amendment.” In a
ime of such panicinspired rhetoric, it is
necessary to examine the reasons for our
constitutional protections
A Bill of Rights reflects wisdom. Its
limits are based on the knowledge that
society may take hasty action that it will
later come to regret. Thus, a wise society
provides itself wich parchment counsel
fended to prevent those actions that
огу teaches us аге most often lame
ed. A Bill of Rights also expresses the
essential optimisin of a people, for it is
based upon a belief that there will be a
future worth aiming the nation toward.
It is a glory of the United States that
it has maintained a Bill of Rights for
almost two centuries. This is not an easy
thing. for it icit assumption of
constitutional limitations that they will
frequendy be unpopular in specific ap-
plication. If the Government and the
people could be counted on always to act
ccording to the principles of the Bill of
Rights, there would be no need for the
document. But it was recognized by the
people of this new nation, who would
hot accept a Constitution without a Bill
of Rights, that there would be temporary
passions, passing emergencies, apparent-
ly changed circumstances—all of which
to justify abridgment of
liberty. It seems intrinsic to human па-
ture that the closer we are to an event,
the less reliable is our judgment. The
Bill of Rights provides the detached wis
dom that we require when basic free-
doms seem to block the path of necessity.
The general value of constitutional
freedoms is illustrated by the First
Amendments provision for freedom of
speech. This freedom has been constant-
ly under attack from the days of the
discredited Alien and Sedition Laws.
Comstockian censors rallied against the
amendment when it protected some of
the world’s great
position of their narrow
First Amendment always has rough going
when it protects war dissenters, at least
until the war is over. And it has done
extraordinary service in protecting the
rights of peaceful civil-rights demonstra-
fact, whenever there are two
issue, the minority depends
on the First Amendment for the right to
present its side. We all have at least one
opinion that someone, somewhere, thinks
194 We should not express. Knowing this, we

PLAYBOY

vision.

value the amendment that protects those
with whom we disagree.

We easily see that the freedom of the
First Amendment protects us; but the
ights of criminal suspects seem less per-
sonal. They are often presented as limi
tations that the law-abiding society adopts
only out of an exaggerated sense of
play. And when a confession or ill
ly seized evidence is excluded from a
criminal trial, we hear that we cannot
ford to give such an advantage to the
adversary. But it is not someone else
whom the Fourth, Filth ixth
amendments protect. Especially, it is not
only someone eke who will lose if the
proposals against the Fifth Amendment
succeed. For to trim the privilege against
selfincrimination will also wim the au
tonomy of every individual. which is the
esence of the Bill of Rights.

The autonomy of the individual com-
prises freedom of thought. speech and
association. Necessary at times to all of
these acy. Privacy exists not as an
absolute concept but as a relationship
with other entities. One may maintain
physical privacy against the world with a
wall, even though a mailman, milkman
and salesman regularly come through
one's gate. Passersby may peer through
the chinks and children may scale one’s
wall in search of errant balls. Yet there is
privacy in the enclosure, in the sense that
опе can act with reasonable assurance
that he is not, in fact, being observed.

Privacy visa-vis the Government is

milarly incomplete and erratic. But it
must have the quality that allows the
feeling that one is unnoticed, at least
some of the time. The Government natu-
rally requires information of various
types, and there will be occasions when
almost a total account of one's life may
be required. But to preserve dhe feeling
of autonomy. those occasions must be
rare, like the breaches of a solid wall.
Ihe individual must know that, in the
wsual case, his life is his own, not his

су has
invasion in those sections ol
ne Act that authorize wire
and electronic surveillance. Under these
s. the Attorney General or апу
Г prosecutor may seek ап order
allowing the interception of any conver-
n of а person suspected of any of a
long list of crimes, some of them q

ready suffered a major
the 1968

phone or eavesdrop. electron
even if they only suspect that one ^
about to” commit a crime without inform-
ag the person spied upon until long aft-
er the event, Thus, we may be overheard
in the supposed privacy of our homes,
without a re: chance to protest.
The Attorney General has said he will
use the wiretapping authority to protect
us from threats to n
from organized crime only. But there are
not even these restrictions on local police.

‘They may listen for any crime carrying
a penalty of over one year. This means
that, for example, whenever one were
suspected of allowing his teenage chil
dren to sip beer or wine on a festive or
sacramental occasion, the police could
spy on his bedroom. (The act allows
interception of oral, as well as telephonic,
communications.) Of course, n ria
attorney is likely to sanction the use of
so awesome a weapon for so minor a
transgression. But small crimes may be
used as a pretext to eavesdrop (ог suy
pected evidence of larger ones, as those
who have traced judicial efforts to b
exploratory searches know
"Ihe problem here is d
knows for what reason electr
etry—such as the device widely adver-
tised as The Snooper—will be used
Even if you act in accord with comi
nity mores today, you cannot predict
when a new district attorney will attempt
to build his reputation on your supposed
transgressions. Can we afford to main
n the privacy of the home against such
a variety of intrusions by the inquisitive
state? This question—as well as “Will it
help catch criminals?’ —must be

too well

an
swered, And my answer is that we must
afford privacy. It is the principal distinc
tion between a free society and the sul
len tyranny of Big Brother.

The most vocal of today's attacks on
the Bill of Rights are directed against
the Fifth Amendment. A rising crime
€ is associated with Supreme Court
rulings dealing with the privilege against
selfincrimination. Critics seem to believe
that if chat privilege were eliminated or
weakened, there would be more contes
sions, and that if there were more confes
sions, there would be less crime and we
would all be better off. But they offer no
evidence that limiting the Fifth Amend
ment would substantially limit crime.
They really propose that we experiment
with the liberty we enjoy. in order to
receive a benefit that may not exist

“The privilege not to “be compelled

any criminal case (o be а
against" oneself derives from an earlier,
crucler age than ours. Then, people did

not wonder at the necessity of the pi
lege to remain silent in the face of
criminal accusation. They were too la-
miliar with torture and long impriso
ment as means of acquiring information.
But the Middle Ages are gone, Why do
we still have the Fifth Amendment? One
reason is fear that without it, the brutal
ity of the extorted confession con.
tinue t0 plague us. Forty years ago was
not the Middle Ages, yet the Wickersham
Commission, appointed by President Her
bert Hoover in 1929 to investigate law
enforcement procedures, discovered that
police still uscd torture to gain admissions
. Today is not the Middle Ages.
yet the crew of the Pueblo discovered that
the need for the Fifth Amendment has
(continued on page 274)

mn

as

“I don’t mind if a man loves me
and leaves me—as long as he
Leaves me enough.”

encoring a curvaceous gallery of favorites created by playboy's
unsurpassed portrayer of quip-equipped lovelies

THE HUMAN BODY has appeared throughout modern times in the visuəl arts
primarily in abstract forms. Some avow that representational art is now on
its way back; but it seems hung up for the moment on soup cans, soft
watches, plaster of Paris and pseudo-psychedelic effects. Which makes the
continuing career of Alberto Vargas all the more remarkable: Over the past
five decades, his straightforward renderings have unflinchingly asserted the
natural beauty of the human figure— specifically, the female. Vargas’ women
have always been irresistibly real, from the desirable, dissolute flappers he
painted in 1920 to the liberated lovelies he portrays today. The life story of
the Peruvian-born painter is by now familiar: He honed his skills during 15
years of painting posters with painstakingly wrought impressions of Flo
Ziegfeld's showgirls, an abbreviated stint as a star sketcher in Hollywood and
an especially productive period—cut short by legal hassles—as a regular
contributor to "Esquire" before his work first adorned these pages in March
1957. It didn't take long for Vargas and PLAYBOY to realize their mutual
admiration, and the artist's relationship with the magazine quickly became a
permanent one. Now in his eighth decade—like the turbulent century to
which he has given a small but valuable note of stability —Vargas shows no
signs of slackening production; and as the accompanying illustrations,
which span the past decade, indicate, he remains as sure-handed as ever.

“Bur aren't you the gentleman
who asked Santa for the life-size doll?”

“Or do you like it better
as a one-piece, darling?”

“Mirror, mirror, in my hand,
This coat was priced at fourteen grand.
What I paid could be shown clearer,

If I but had a full-length mirror.”

“Well, you know what they зау:
If we don’t go to bed, Santa will never arrive.”

N W

“Well, ундес finally
convinced me.

Pm ready to

throw in the towel."

“1 just can't understand why I keep having trouble
with the same New Tear s resolution every January."

“Pm a little tired this evening—
mind if I dor’t play hard to gel?”

“Mother was so pleased
when she learned

Mr. Hefner would be
using only my face on
the cover of PLAYBOY.”

“You must have been born in March—
aou come in like a lion and go oul like a lamb."

М? M s

man at his leisure

leroy neiman, playboy's peripatetic artist,
limns a vibrant north african odyssey

MOROCCO has, in the course of the past decade,
become a buzzing mecca for visitors who want to
experience the Arabian nights (and days) in
a western-flavored and dazzlingly beautiful
setting. Its biggest cities—Casablanca, Marra-
kesh and Tangier—all have distinctly differ-
ent characteristics yet retain the singular
mystique and aura of intrigue that has
been associated with Arabic lands since
time immemorial. The country’s beaches,
meanwhile, have won to Morocco's side
a new generation of sun worshipers
who have only recently discovered
the nation’s magnificent strands.
The novice or to Morocco is
instantly and rewardingly jolted by
the culture collision he observes: Morocco's society

and customs, from its veiled women to its extraordinary cuisine down to its tolerance of kif smoking, are experiences

“Morocco is a beautiful, beautiful land, in almost every respect. I've been to beaches all over the wc
—particularly in the confines of the Club Méditerranée, the mostly French vacation club—the beaches are sensa-

tional. Moroccans themselves are fascinating; Шете'з a keenness, a superalert intelligence always operating when you
talk to them. And they are classically attractive: Arab women have the same look of exotic allure that caught the
fancy of Van Dongen in his paintings at the begin-
ning of the century; the men still possess those
proud, fiercely untamed qualities that inspired
Delacroix 150 years ago. Of the c I visited, I
liked Tangier best; it's hilly, scenic, on the Medi-
terranean and is also the epitome ol everything
gocs. Casablanca—fascinating during the day—
seemed ominous at night: One constantly hears
tales of travelers being waylaid in this flat, sprawl-
ing city. Marrakesh is а delight, because its mar-
ket place is probably the world's most exciting and.
unusual. But so many things I encountered in
Morocco seemed new and unusual; I think it may
be one of the last places in the world where one
can experience true adventure.”

Neiman's impressions—and_ portraits—of Mo-
rocco accurately depict a nation steeped in a

In Morocco, nearly all encounters represent exotic
—ond sometimes erotic—adventures. Gatefold, op-
posite: At the Katoubia Palace in Tangier, lithe danc-
ing girls from all over the Arab world have established
the night club-restaurant as an evening imperative.
Above: In a Marrakesh street market, Arabs and hip-
pies alike stock up an pot smakers' accessories; the
long wooden pipes are hand-carved, lacquered and
sell for 20 cents. Left: Two French tourists cross paths
with a couple riding donkeys on the road to Agadir. 205

Although most urban Moroccans still dress traditionally, many have acquired western tastes. Above, left to right: A veiled
swinger frugs at a Casablanca disco; in Tangier, motorcycles are the mass transport medium for young couples; a miniskirted
Moroccan bird chats with a girlfriend wearing a jellaba. Says Neiman, "Just because her clothing is old-fashioned doesn't
mean she is." Below: At Agadir's Club Méditerranée, members make amorous alliances at the swimming-pool steps.

historic past yet quickly turning on to
a modern future. But abundant evi-
dence of the nation's primitive yes-
terdays js still proudly present:

Zagora, which sits just above the
hara Desert at the southern center of
Morocco, a hand-painted sign in
French and Ara notes that Tim-
buktu is 52 days away by camel. Oc-
casionally, carloads of foreigners pull

o this barren, hot and silent town

and can't resist bouncing onto the

desert tra cloud of dust;
but they rarely follow it very far

1 beyond

Most of the tourists who pass this
way content themselves with a photo-
graph ot the Timbuktu sign and then
hurry off to the Grand Hótel du Sud,
a four-star hotel at the other end of
town, for а cocktail in the quiet bar
and a cooling splash in the pool. It is
cnough to have followed this beck-

oning highway to its end, to have

п
for onesclf thc remote fortress towns
huddling (continued on page 210)

A memorable venture for any Morocco-bound visitor is a daytime stroll through
Marrakesh's Djemaa-el-Fna square. Eorly in the morning, it's a mammoth flea
market: Almast every conceivable type of merchandise is sald by hundreds of
vendars. In the late afternaon, mast of the merchants pack up their wares and
in their places come magicians, snake charmers, fire-ecters, contortianists,
dancers—and thousands af spectatars. Befare Neiman left Morocca, he attempt-
ed а camel ride, and notes: "Camels may be durable, but they're very mangy.”

the girl and the sharli from “Tales in a tahitian Village”

ur ans from the waterfall spray hung,
lazy in the air; caught fire; settled gently
on her dark hair, bronze shoulders and
breasts; finally, тап in drops like small
tears and fell from her nipples. Laka
was sid. She knew that her parents were
right to scold and the village was right to
mock her. Most of the other girls her age
had already borne a child; she alone was
a virgin. They did not understand, but
Lakat could not tell them without bring-
ing death to herself and shame to all her
people.

The place beneath the waterfall was
her refuge, but from it she could often
see the other young women and
when two of them would come to the
edge of the stream. There, where the
mountain fell backward behind them
апа the water boiled in the shallow:
they would lie together. Only а few
minutes ago, she had seen her friend

Taluu on the ground, with Mapil be-
tw

her legs.
Once not long ago, Lakat and Taluu
d been girls together, learning to
ake tapa baskets, to pound out taro, 10
ake fires, They had often slept with
their arms around each other and ¿hey
had laughed at the same things. Lakat
loved Taluu. But, as they became wom-
en, Taluu began to go her own way.
Now she laughed. with Mapil or another
boy.
As twilight began to darken the air
beneath the mountain, Lakat saw. Ro-mi
approaching. "Come, Lakat," he said in
a pleasant voice, "everyone else is at the
lodge house. Do you wait here alone for
aman? Ah, then, one has come to soothe
yo

The words had an odd effect and
Lakat had an impulse to tell what she
had never told before. “Listen, Romi,"
she said, “I know that it is strange, but I
do not wish to couple. The thing 1
should like to do is to go shark riding,

"Shark riding?" said Romi in aston-

ishment. “Then you do not await a man
—you wish to be onc."

Lakat shook her head miserably. “АП
the village says that I cannot do the
thing a woman should do.”

“But do you know what you are saying,
little Lakat? It is a tricky game to pl
‘The man must come onto the shark’
rough back, seize him by the fin, then
flash, strike the sharp
cath and into the thin
belly si the bravest and most
skillful hunters have come to death in
the bloody water. Men do this thing only
because they cannot live without fame
and admiration.”

“It is uot that 1 want,” Lakat said. “It
is something too deep in my heart to
explain. Ro-mi, you must help me.

Just as the sun rose the next morning,
they paddled silendy out beyond the
reef. Romi was full of misgiving and he
only hoped that there would be no
ks to be found.
Remember," said. Roni
close, roll out of the canoe, st

“as soon as
d-

we
dle his back, grab the great fin tightly

and, in one movement, bend forward
and stab upward. Once you are in the
water, 1 cannot help you. Shark riding
cannot be taught. It сап only be
learned.” Romi shook his head as he
looked down at Lakat's lithe, naked
body. He saw that her hand, holding the
Knife haft, was trembling a little.

A small fin, not much uger than a
hand, appeared off to seaward. “A good
опе to try.” sid Romi, “He is small and
his belly skin will be thin. Remember
that the pack follows close and will scent
the blood. You have only the time it
takes a tall palm tree to crash to earth
after it is cut through.” The canoe slid
quietly forward.

"Now!" Roni yelled. He watched
Lakat roll expertly over the side, seize
the fish and twine her long legs around
it. As she bent forward, he could sce her

Ribald Classic

round breasts flatten against the shark's
rough back. He felt a terrible fear and a
terrible desire.

Lakat felt the hard skin of the shark
between her legs and against her breasts.
She had no fear now, only excitement.
She struck once, then again with the
knife, A marvelous sensation arose in her
belly and swept through her. She shifted
her body against the shark and straddled
him more tightly. As he plunged, she felt
the knife go deep within him, almost as
if she had pierced herself.

"Back" yelled Romi. "He is dying
now. Into the canoe quickly.” With a
sharp stroke of the paddle, he came
alongside, seized Lakat by the hair and
plucked her from the fish's back. When
he had brought her into the «
saw with surprise that his manhood had
risen.

“Romi,
shark?

“I don't know what you mean.” he
stid with a frown, watching the shark
plunge in is final agony. When he
looked back, he saw that Lakat was lying
down in the canoe

Romi leaned forward and touched her
shoulder. Lakat did not shrink from
him; she put her anns around his neck.

Some time later, with the dead young
shark in the bowom of the canoe, dw
paddled to the shore of the lagoon. Most
of the village had come down to meet
them, Romi held up the dead fish.
“Lakat rode this shark,” he called.

“Lakat, you might have been killed,”
d her mother.

You are an idiot daughter,
growled.

Romi stepped from the canoe. “Lakat
is my woman,” he said. “Let no onc
speak ill of her.

The faces of her mother and father
began to soften into smiles. Suddenly, all
of the villagers began to laugh, and
Lakat and Ro-mi laughed with them.

—Retold by Bob Lunch ËJ

asked Lakat, "is a man like a

ai

her father

ILLUSTRATION ву BRAD HOLLAND 209

PLAYBOY

210

man at his leisure uia from page 207)

behind their ramparts and the desolate
landscape that lies beyond them.

This is one facet of Morocco: but not
too far north, over the snow-capped peaks
of the High Atlas, ате wondrous cities of
minarcts and tumultuous bazaars that be-
long to an even earlier age. And yet far-
ther north are skyscraper cities reyplende
with the newer treasures of a younger
civilization. A land of improbable con
trasts. it is less than seven hours by jet
from New York, on the northwest shoul-
der of the African continent. Bounded on
the west by the Atlantic, on the north by
the Mediterranean, on the east by Algeria
and on the south by the Sahara, it com
bines the flavors of Africa and Aral
with the seasoning of Europe in а ter-
ritory far smaller than Texas
It is a place where a traveler can live
the 20th or the Second Century, in
brand-new howel or an ancient Arabi
v. He can spend his nights in a
о or a discotheque and his days on
h or a golf course: hunt with fal-
cons or track wild boar. He cin taste the
favorite dishes of desert war lords, eat
with his fingers at a splendid feast or dine
in a French restaurant. He can see leg-
endary cities, have his fortune told, soak
ng, ride a camel or an Ara-
meet а girl from Paris or
London or Rio or ski down а mountain.
shopping. In the medinas
т) of the larger towns are
wall shops, labyrinthine baza
and bustling markets filled with sights
and sounds and overllowing with carpets
from Rabat, sheepskin rugs from the Rif,
pottery from and Safi and muzzle-
loaders inlaid with silver and gold:
copper- beaten jewel-
ry encrusted with precious stones, tur
wrought leatherwork, ques and bri
агас at bargain-basement prices.

Dope. mostly grass and hash, is traded
with equanimity everywhere, though few
people agree as to the exact definition of
Moroccan law on this touchy subject.
Some say you cin smoke it but not sell it:
others maintain that selling is all right
but posession is nor. Most. people have
no opinion; they just sit around getting
stoned, as they have been doing for cen-
tries. Kif, which is marijuana mixed
with something that tastes like camel
droppings, costs about 0 cents a bag,
enough for a dozen pipeful:

For some visitors, a shopping excursion
to Morocco today holds the same sort of
illicit excitement as а border crossing into
Mexico: but it is а mistake to assume that
this is all Morocco has to offer, for there
are even greater treats in store. The most
nding attractions can be seen quite
thin two to three weeks,
which allows ample time for sightseeing
and shopping and for a few days of lazing
in the sun at some select refuge. There is
an excellent road network, fast air service

t cities and a
in the north to

between the more impe
railroad from Tangier
Marrakesh in the south

mericans need only their passport
and vaccination certificate. The dirham,
Morocco's unit of currency, is not offi
ly available outside the country and
may not legally be imported, but these
strictures are met with a hollow laugh by
anyone who has stopped first at Gibraltar
or on the southern coast of Spain, where
dirhams are sold at vastly reduced rates.
The legal rate of exchange is about five
to a dollar, bur in Т s thriving
currency black market, it's around. seven.
If you're caught bringing Moroccan mon-
ey into the country or dealing on the
black market, however, your vacation will
be extended by a long stretch.

July and August are said to be impos
sible months to visit Morocco, because of
the heat, but this is high season on the
beaches and though it does get very
warm in the interior, an airconditioned
hotel or a swimming pool is never too
far away; and, in any event, the evening
usually brings cooler air. Whenever they
elect to go, the itinerary of most travele
in Moroco is dictated by where their
plane lands, which in most cases will be
either Rabat, the capital, or Casablanca,
Morocco's biggest city. Separated by less
than 60 mile, both places are situated
approximately at the center of the Atan-
tie coast line, Geographically, it makes
more sense to start at the northern
Tangier and gradually work south
but since most incoming flights, especi
ly connections from the U. S. via Europe,
land at dhe capital, we'll begin there, not
forgetting to pick up а rented car

Rabat is thc most attractive of Moroc-
co's coastal cities. It is an old town with
a modern wardrobe and a reverence for
irs turbulent past. Once a Roman settle-
ment, it is now onc of the homes of the
present king of Morocco, who may be
scen once a week, riding to his prayers
on a white horse. As the center of diplo
matic and government. business, Rabat
has numerous firstdlass hotels; but the
best among them is the Tour Hassa
which has spacious air-conditioned apart-
ments, outstanding cuisine and а charm
ing garden patio for cocktails. There arc
soft fountains off the lobby, miles of
carpets and ble; the service
is formal, friendly and efficient. Next best
are the Hilton, which has a pool, and the
Balima, which II but pleasant

Practically every town
a street called Mohammed V, and in
Rabat, this is the scene of luxury store
tea and pastry rooms, ice-cream parlors
and sidewalk cafés, At its northern end is
Rabar's medina s maze of markets,
all divided into different sections for
specific products such as leather goods,
brass and copper, silver, gold, carpets,
caftans, jewelry and shoes; and there's a

hardto-find bazaar that sells secondhand
junk and antiques at absurdly low prices.

In the larger markets, shades of rushes
аге stretched across the narrow streets to
keep out the heat of the da
them, the air is dark and cool, fragrant
with the scent of leather, mint and fresh-
ly baked bread. In the gloomy openings
of their tiny shops, the men who make
the merchandise sit cros-degged and
smoke kif. When they move, they move
Slowly; but if a likely prospect. pauses to
admire their handiwork, they are quickly
on their feet and ready to bargain

Haggling is, of course, an ancient tra
dition im Morocco and the form is sim-
ple. The seller states his price, the buyer
offers half and they compromise with
something less than two thirds, which
takes several minutes of headshaking and
eve rolling and fervent appeals to Allah
The secret is not to treat the affair as a
means of getting something for nothing
but to pay only what you can afford for

something you want very much—which
is or should be the basis of any deal.
Before leaving the medina, walk

through the kasbah to the Moorish café
that’s. perched on the dilfs overlook-
ng the ocean and the mouth of the river
. Here vou can enjoy a gl
ad Moroccan pastries, while
watching the sun disappear and listening
to the faint sounds that drift over the
rooftops and across the water from Ria-
at's sister town of Salé.

After а day of plodding through the
Rabat medina, few visitors have much
energy for carousing; but dedicated rev-
cles will find live soul music from
London at L'Entonnoir, floorshows ani
Moroccm music at night clubs in the
poshest hotels. Above L'Entonnoir is
excellent, informal restaurant, whose chef
knows all there is to know about ham-
burgers, steaks and similar imports. For
more demanding tastes, there is Italian
t Capri and La Mamma, Chin
at Hong Kong and Le Mandarin, French
t Le Grillon, Chez Pierre and at the
ding hotels. As for Moroccan food, this

SS

De, reserved lan dinien aida Hie in:
ner, too, when nothing very strenuous is
planned afterward, for Moroccan food at
its finest is a devastating experience that
sends gourmets into raptures and turns
newcomers into disciples. In the Moorish
dining room of the Tour Hassan hotel,
you'll find it at its very best.

I a full-scale ceremonial banquet is to
be served, skip lunch that day or you'll
never make it. The traditional Moroccan
feast starts with haría, which is a soup
of chicken, mutton, rice and mixed
„ Next comes a tajin (stew) m
ken, pigeon, beef and mutton, al-
lude turkey, camel
10 roast mutton and very tasty) or
y other meat. Another introd
lemon chicken, accompanied

(continued on page 275)

almost
tory dish

uptight because yule's looming large? worry not...

The
“Eleventh-
our
anta

1. Bill Blass-designed wrist watches: Col-
lector features. simulated-five-cent-stamp
, 545, and ‘Tropicane comes with
iterned strap, $10, both by Ham-

kon Watch, 2. The Wave, a motor-
cr half filled with fluid,

ure the pitch and toss

by Kinautics Interna-

attery-powered surfboard

speeds up to five knots per hour, by

пе Industries, $159.50. 4. Courtship

tes the action-reaction

a Controls, $2
teries, 6. Three p
able spun-glass marbleshaped cuff 1
Lid, 590, including s
sculpture. pu

е it's been disassembled, by Austin
Enterprises, $5.05. 8. Fondue set includes
wrought-iron, copper and wood adjust-
able burner, $29, r
$15, both by Swissmart. 9.
fingermajig of chrome makes an elegant.
donothing gift for a desk-bound doo-
dler, by Creative Playthings, $5. 10. Teak
hibachi table with ceramic top, with
opening for pans, $400, апа two stools,
$50 cach, all by B, Wood Sanders Designs.

here's a plenitude of christmas presents perfect

4. Minimal-sculpture desk lamp of square
brass tubing, by Robert Sonneman, $100.
2. Portable color TV with seven-diagon
inch screen, by Sony, $429.95. 3. Four-
quart walnut ice bucket, by Designed]
Wood, 532.50. 4. Stereo 1 loudspeaker
system housed in а single cabinet, by
Jensen, 5124.95. 5. United States Olym-
bic Book—1968, from International
Olympic Editions, $24.75; Bauhaus, from
the MIT Press, $50: Our Vanishing Wil-
derness, from Madison Square Press,
$14.95. 6. Stein Eriksen Ski Way Delux
practice platform with edge-control ac-
cessory, by AME, $59.95. 7. Blue Max
AM portable radio with see-through case,
by GE, $14.98. В. British Sterling cologne
bar, by Toiletries Division of Speidel,
$18. 9. Baconer cooks up to eight slices
in five to ten minutes, by Westinghouse,
$21.95. 10. Stereo records include: The
Nonesuch Guide to Electronic Music,
Irom Nonesuch, $4.96 for two-record
Mendelssohn Elijah, from Angel,

for threerecord set; the play /n

set; three Those Wonderful

albums, $4.98 each, all from Decca
the soulrock album Fathers and Sons,
from Chess, 5698 for uwo-record set.
11. Digital clock in aluminum and
rosewood case, by Howard Miller, $55.

for some inspired giving in the st. nick of time

iglas rocking chair with polished-
chrome fittings and clear polished-vinyl
ing, from Design Group, $700. 2. Gift
cate for men's natural white Emba
nk double-breasted outercoat with
cobra trim and butions, made to ord
he Brothers Christie, $4250. 3.
's їсс bucket of brown pig-
thermal li has chrome
with glass porthole window, by
Gucci, 00. 4. The Tork, a sculpture
of spring steel mounted to wood basc,
iggles when tonched, by Kinetic Objects,
510. 5. The Міса m
tery/AG TV has screen that m
iagonal inches, by Ра
with batter
cashmere
shirt pullov h button-placket neck
and saddle-shoulder

attery-pow
te recording unit comes with built-in
ad playback speaker, records up

to 90 minutes on one cassette cartridge, by
Stenocord, $145. В. Continuous Calendar
g only once a year pro-

vides the date for days from the 18th to
the 22nd centuries, by Arnett Industries,
$15, 9, Radio Direction Finder with three-
way tuning meter and tone generator
brings in beacon, broadcast and marine
signals loud and dear, by Коре), 5248.

Best Major Work

Best Essay

VLADIMIR NABOKOY, a previous winner,
captured our first award for best major work
with Ada (April), a tale of aristocratic pas-
sion, which later appeared as part of the
critically acclaimed best seller. Nabokov's
closest competitor was New Englander John
Updike, whose 1 Am Dying, Egypt, Dying
(September) detailed the anomie of an
American cruising up the Nile.

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR., one
of the century's great spiritual and political
Jeaders until his assassination in 1968,
ped out the road to realization of the
dream in A Testament of Hope
(January), and merited our best-cssay award.
Runner-up was Alan Harrington's The Im-
mortalist (May), а glimpse of the deathless
future promised us by medical science.

announcing the thousand-dollar-prize-winning authors and their
contributions, judged by our editors to be the past year’s most outstanding

PLAYBOY’S ANNUAL
WRITING AWARDS

Best Article

Best Short Story

JAMES LEIGH'S first rLaxnoy contribution,
Yes It's Me and I'm Hate. Again (March)—
a tale of confrontation between a happy:
lucky calypso singer and a bitter young mili-
n a black ghetto—won top honors i
Our short-story competition. Robert Sheck-
ley's Cordle to Onion ta „Garrot (December),
about a sucker who learns how to stand up
to people, came in a close second,

ERIC NORDEN's chilling exposé of the
be saviors of the American way who
comprise The Paramilitary Right (June) was
adjudged our best article of the year, barely
g out The Human Zoo (September), in
biologist Desmond (The Naked Ape)
Morris brilliantly explored the parallels be-
tween today's overheated upward striving and
the antisocial behavior of animalsin captivity,

IN REVIEWING our editorial content for 1969, we found that the wealth of fiction, nonfiction, humor and satire pub-
lished by PLAYBOY proved to be an embarrassment of riches when it came to picking the winners of our annual
awards. With the number of categories increased to include citations for best major work, best new writers of
fiction and nonfiction, best essay and best satire, eight contributors will this year receive tokens of our appreciation
and respect—for each, a $1000 monetary prize and an engraved silver medallion encased in a clear Lucite prism
(shown at left). Along with our awards, we also include mention of those writers who, in our editorial poll, came
closest to the winners, We hope that PLAYBOY readers will concur with our choices, and ask them—and our other
contributors—to bear in mind that the process of selection necessitates the exclusion of much that is praiseworthy.

Best New Writer (fiction) Best New Writer (nonfiction)

i "a Ж.

WARNER LAW, though already well cstab-
lished as a screenwriter, was singled out as
the best new writer of fiction for 1969. The
Thousand-Dollar Cup of Crazy German Cof-
fee—a potent brew of suspense and intrigue,
published in May~marked his first contribu-
tion to PLAYBOY. Psychoanalyst Ernest Taves
Dated next highest for his August story of a
bitter and fatal rivalry, The Fire Fighters.

Best Humor

(HANA HAET гезит C AUEN RUY AI

JEAN SHEPHERD, our incxhaustibly risi-
ble raconteur, took top prize for humor (his
fourth) with Wanda Hickey's Night of Gold-
en Memories (June), in which he celebrated
the agonics and the ecstasies of a ritual
known as the junior prom. Second place
among the year’s humorists went to Art
Buchwald for his tonguc-in-check confession,
Why I Can't Write a Dirty Booh (May).

KARL HESS, a fascinatingly unstereotyped
political savant, sounded taps for our Gov-
nal institutions in The Death of Pol-
ities (March)-and won recognition as the
bes new writer (nonfiction) to appear in
PLAYBOY during 1969. Second place went to
Dr. Joel Fort, a specialist on drug use and
abuse and faculty member at two universi-
ties, for Pot: A Rational Approach (October).

Best Satire

WOODY ALLEN, demonstrating the comic
genius that has made smash hits of his own
show, Play It Again, Sam, and his most re-
cent film, Take the Moncy and Run, grabbed
our award for satire with Snow White?, his
December deadpan review of a Broadway
play based on the Disney-refurbished fairy
tale. October's Baseball Joe in the World
Series, by Larry Siegel, was runner-up.

215

PLAYBOY

216

PASTAS FUTURE (оше from page 176)

Children's unconsciousness? That might
become the burden of our Ме re-
senement, For we will su nt their

"ent upon a
peopled (and
evidently created) by inhuman nincom-
poops, 1 wonder how his mind develops
the trick of devising moving pictures of
its own: pictures no one else has ever
seen. He talks with you (unmistakably
clever, spookily reflective . . .) until he
very slowly begins to give himself away.
He has no idea of his own meanings.
You've been listening to television

There'll be some compensations, of
course. Already, we are making up i
special effects what we lack in depth

Our dreams have begun taking over
all the optical conceits of movies: cut-
aways, slow motion, [recze-frame, zoom.
shots. И we could remember dreams
clearly enough, we might name directors
to whom our psychic styles are indebted.

А moviemaker's skill at such devices
enables him to conceal his vision, his
ntent. His dexterity alone marks the
measure of his artistry.

If movies enrich our dreams techni-
cally, what will that progress cost us?
Dreams may become the remotest thing.
we need: another form of entertainment.

When ош «си are equipped to
influence, perhaps even to program their
dreams, where will they look for inspira-
tion? Revelation shrouded in muslin,
flights of fancy cloaked in lead.

Reconsider: What changes will go
down when inexpensive lipsync sound-
on-film super-eight cameras are in every-
one's hands? When everyonc—parents,
offspring—is an amateur cinematom
pher, when all of our enterprises become
fitting subjects for our movies. Perhaps
then the distortion of infancy will never
be allowed to harden. Perhaps they will
be unable to cause trouble for long
Suppose vou were perpetually review-
g the ongoing film library of your life.
Could you continue to lie to yourself
about the past?

Could you believe it was more crush-
ing than it was, that its prominent figures
were more fabulous? Could you remem-
ber any trauma or triumph as more than
ordinary?

Our lives will be there, fat
and forlorn, They will bind us, leave us
no room [or the lovely legends we once
used to repair and elaborate them.

Will the developing child constantly
revise his responses to the events and
personalities on film? Will he be habitu-
ally reime i in effect,
psychoanalyzing hi
Or might it take a child too long to
istingnish truly between his family and

nd plain

Ш the other cinematic characters he'll
grow up with? How long is too long?
ny down Los Angeles boulev:
1 wonder what kids will have to be 1
not to sense the invidious emptinesses
between the car lots and the barbecue
havens, By what reference might these
spaces seem less than full to them?

There's a kind of emptiness here w
leaves too much room for thoughts. Kids
mill and loiter on the street corners,
waiting, rarely conversing. “Grooving.

This landscape can turn any thought
into а daydream. No purchase anywhere
for a kindness or discretion. Nowhere to
grab hold. Miles of sightless glass, not
exactly windows, for they offer no pr
lege. They are а vantage point to noth-
ing, conceal nothing.

Some miles farther, one sees within a
gle block English manors, French tow
houses, Swiss chalets, splitlevels. Style
need no longer be determined by environ-
ment, nor by the indifference of builders.
Each person's home can offer a total fan-

тазу of himself.
Why does no one care what hi

bors house looks like? To show he

doesn't have 10 car? Our insulation is

complete—of taste as well as space. What
manner of man builds here, is born
here? So what if it's ugly, or someone
else's, as long as it insulates us from the
whoosh of the freeways?

The food chat nourishes our children
will have no visible relation to its source.
Hams will be made out of algac, carrots
out of fish meal. All food will taste of
chemicals; cating will be like smoking on

hot, bright day.

Did taste once depend on our feelings
of merit and reward, of replenishment at
the expense of Life?

What, then, will our children, about
to be born, resent in us? Our marginal
ity. Our consciousness. We will nor be
with it, that goes without saying. More-
over, we shall not cling to anything
staunch and pasé. We shall offer no
resistance, nothing to thrust up аш;

Might we become the first. parents to
pray that things hold together just long
enough for us to make it through. our
own lives?

d

ig Lkneed on the messy
tneshokd of their world, will we simply
cast off our impossible guilt? “We inher-
ited capacities too monstrous and com-
plex," we will whine to th t wasn’t
our fault. We gyrated helplessly from one
personal solution to the next. We couldn't
seem to find the goddamn handle.

The future breathes on us. We feel
diffuse, disorganized in its presence. Wait
a minute, we want to say, sit down, let's
Ik things over for a minute. But we
know it has no time to waste on us
ll respond in the same way to
our children. Sit down, we'll want to sa

listen to our experience, But what bene

fits for them will reside in our perplexi-
ties? What lessons сап be wrested from
maladjustment

Some tourists merrily advise us that
when there is nothing to do, when cy-
nd operate society's
y g to our bidding, when
work becomes the privilege of a super-
specialized elite—wliy, then we shall be a
planet of puppetcers and skindivers. of
perpetual tourists, students, collectors,
ceramists, film makers, cricketeers.

Who will fret about cumulation, “con
triburion” Picture us ar the beach,
modeling and remodeling our intricate
sand castles, with no thought to the
coming tide,

“If everyone in the w

bernetic slaves oil

ld would only

play the violin," said the 2000-year-old
phy
better

‚ "we would be bi nd

in Mantov

ger
= Sociologists
а new hedonism, a livi
the moment, Picture а lofti
for the future. an effortlessly dedicated
attempt at living in the moment: occu-
pying its territory fully. That alone
would be a feat

Play is a child's way of mastering the
world, of making

ts order visible to
himself, Will we, indeed, pass our hours
with the concentration of children at
Or will we try to muster, as if from
memory, their careless seriosi
When there's no necessity to our freely
chosen enterprise, how shall we focus опг
attention upon it? Can we bear a life-
time of apprenticeship, taking lessons
without end? Can we embrace self
realization for its own sake? Or will we
dumbly persist in the worn-out notion
that business is business? Kick the sand
into aimless piles—with the distracted
minds of vacationing adults.
“Wasn't there something, though I
can't remember what, that Í ad to do?”
Can we elude preoccupation? Or will
we play, not like children but like old
people—just to keep busy? Frantically,
desperately, to ward off brooding. Peel a
stick. Hit a tree with it, hir earth with it.
Look at the sun. Watch each other.
Through possessions, their geting and.
mending through our need for the next
improvement on the new model of fram-
mis—we will keep our minds pressurized.
“AIL those things you wanted when
you was a kid," Roger Miller told an
interviewer, "like that motorcycle and
that Model A, and all that stuff—all
those things when you get money you
an't think of a damn one of ‘em, Some-
times you run out and buy
trying to run across one of “em.”
Purpose. Worthiness, Self-esteem. Once,
when our rituals became compulsive, we
could. an us 10 OV
work. But when there is no work ta be
done, how will they survive without our
becoming ashamed of them?
Each mind like a fish tossing, flopping
(continued on page 259)

ALPHABETES
NOIRES

a biting and bizarre bestiary
to put in your funk and wagnalls

ASS

When the law is an Ass, it is often
because an Ass is the law. Sometimes
nine asses sit together to form an
Asinine, or baseball team.

Wild, or Crashing BORE

Possessed of the strength of ten
ordinary bores, this terrifying brute
drives its victim into a corner,
where it recounts episodes of its
childhood.

217

218

Soft-Sell CRAB

As fierce as the hard-sell or "Buster"
Crab, when the blue chips are
down, the Soft-Sell confounds its
prey by attacking sideways.

Electoral EEL or
Power-Seeking Shocker

There is no insulation to protect
one from the charge of this slimy

denizen of the shallows.
Campaigning for volts, eye on the
main switch, the Electoral Eel has
something, but no one really
knows watt.

DOGMA

The stubborn Dogma, loyal beyond
belief, survives by having almost no
sense of smell. When the master’s
scent penetrates its tiny nostrils,
the Dogma dies.

Cold FISH

`= 2

f
ч?

Alone in his icy think tank,
the Cold Fish silently plans disasters
and counts corpses yet unborn.

GIRIFFRAFF

<
=» کے‎ и

К Tyre satt mm

Also called Girash, or Running Sore,
its lack of vocal cords has made this
animal inarticulate with rage.

HIPPOPOSTHUMOUS

"Life? Who needs it?" That is the
swinging philosophy of the hip
Hippoposthumous, born dead
of dead parents and forever one up
on the living.

ик

The Ilk is the most unfairly unloved
of all creatures, because those who
are hated with all their ПК often
have по Ik of their own and have to
borrow one. Shown here are a
mother Ilk and all her Ilk.

E-Type, or Laughing JAG

This great, purring beast, a status
symbol from the word "ignition,"
glides softly away at mating time and
trades itself in. Thus is the endless
life cycle renewed.

219

220

КАТАМСАКОО

The remarkable thing about the
Katangaroo, or Great White
Mercenary, is that no matter how
high it jumps, the money never falls
out of its pocket.

MISERERE or
Praying Mandatory

Bear-Faced LYREBIRD

The Bear-Faced Lyrebird does not
tell it like it is, was or will be,
and quickly proves to be a pest,
leaving its little white lies and large
brown name droppings everywhere.

NOWT

The pious, company-loving Miserere
prays that the wicked may be torn
to pieces and devoured, and
digested in time for its next
devotions.

Possessing hindsight in two directions,
the slippery Nowt is a lizard
for all seasons.

OSTROGOTH
and OISTRAKH

PARROTROOPER

The ostentatious Ostrogoth, whose
name comes from Osterreich,
or Strauss, is here shown in the
throes of a Viennese waltz.
It should not be confused with the
Oistrakh, which is a bivalve; that is to
say, there are two of them.

Quick to learn and repeat the
latest military phrase, grave or
exultant, the clever Parrotrooper is
equally at home with the difficult
“Enemy retains substantial
uncommitted resources” and the
simple “Charlie is hurting.”

Quaking QUAIL or
Bobbing White

RHINOPTIMIST

The white-lipped, ashen-faced
Honkiebird, as its enemies
affectionately call it, wants

desperately to do the right thing but
is hampered by a fear that it may
turn out to be the left thing.

Idly humming snatches of
Das Rheingold, the Rhinoccupant
stands at the banks of the Rhine,
dreaming of past rhinopulence as a
rhinofficer and looking forward
thinominously to even greater
rhinomnivorousness. 221

SYCOPHANT

Painted TURTLE

At best, the Sycophant is useless,
and farmers consider it a nuisance
because of its habit of praising
harmíul insects.

UNDERDOG or
Union Jackal

THIS LOVES
ү,
LOYAL рос,

Hating every newly liberated minute,
the abandoned neocolonial hopes
for the return of its mother country.
Eventually, it sells itself to the
highest bidder.

1222

The Painted Turtle never fails to display
the latest fad: pop, op, minimal,
maximal, organic, electronic, emetic.

Cultured VULTURE

The Cultured Vulture cannot sing a
note but knows at once when the
nightingale is off pitch. On such
occasions, it eats the nightingale.

WOODCHUMP

А Xerox is a muskox that duplicates

The Woodchump is a credulous little itself by means of mirrors. Each
marmot that lives in a wood and mirror image is then a Xoksum.
isa chump. All of the Woodchumps А Xoksum is also a muskox that looks
can be fooled all of the time. back in anger, often to snarl,

“What was that last crack?”

YOK ZEBREW

Seldom found live nowadays, Whether fiddling on the roof or
the Yok, or Guffawing Boffola, doing some other comic turn, the

provides the raw material for canned Zebrew is increasingly used by
laughter. trappers to snare the elusive Yok.

223

Y

PLAYE

crooks four... from bae 162)

“Then they had quite a discussion

about what was natural and what wasn't,
with Mr. Visconti almost forgetting. his
danger in the excitement, until someone

knocked on the door and Mr. Visconti,
vaguely sketching a cross in a lopsided
жау, muttered what sounded through the
noise of the air conditioner like an abso-
lution. The German officer came in in
the middle of it and said, ‘Hurry up,
Monsignor, I've got а more important
customer for you."
Tt was the general's wife, who had
come down to the bar for a last dry
ini before escaping north and heard
was going on. She drained her
martini in one gulp and commanded
the officer to arrange her confess So
there was Mr. Visconti, caught ag
There was an awful row now in the Via
Veneto, as the tanks drove out of. Rome.
‘The general's wile had positively to shout
at Му. Visconti. She had a rather mascu-
line voice and Mr. Visconti said it was like
being on the parade ground. He nearly
ked his heels together in his purple
socks when she bellowed at him, ‘Adul
tery. Three times.’

“Are you married, my daughter?

"Of course, Im married. What on
carth do you suppose? Tm Fran General
Іле forgotten w ugly Teutonic
name she had.

‘Does your husband know of this?
"OI course he doesn't know, He's nor
a priest.

“Then you have been guilty of lies,
too?

"Yes, yes, naturally, T suppose so. you
must hurry, Father. Our cars being load-
ed. We are leaving for Florence in à few
fek”

“Haven't you anything ebe lo tell

‘Nothing ol importance.
“You haven't mised Mass

“Oh, occasionally, Father. This is
wartime.

“Meat on Fridays?"

“You forget. It is permitted now,

Father.
he:

Those азе Allied planes over
d. We have to leave immediately
"God cmnor be hurried, my dild.
Have you indulged in impure thoughts?”

“Father, pur down yes ío anything
you like, but give me absolution. 1 have
to be ofl.”

та you've properly

ined your conscience.

“Unless you give me
оше, 1 shall have you
sabotage.”

Mr. Visconti said,
if you gave me

not feel u

solution at
arrested, For

le would be better

Seat in your car. We

could finish your confession tonight."
7 ‘There isn’t room in the car, Father.
The driver, my husband, myself, my dog
Wt space for another

А dog takes up no room. It can s
on your knee.”
“This is an Irish wollhound, Fathe
“Then you must leave it behind.’ Mr.
Visconti said firmly: and at that moment,
а cn backfired and the Frat General
(ook it for an explosion
‘E need Wolf for my protection, Fa-
ther. War is very dangerous for women’
“You will be under the protection of
our Holy Mother Church.’ Mr. Visconti
said, ‘as well as your husband's.”

CE cannot leave Wolf behind. He is
all I have in the world to love."
"Cp would have assumed thar with

three adulterie—and а husband
‘They mean nothing to me.”

hen P suggest,” Mr. Vixonti said.
‘that we leave the general behind. And
so it came about, The general was dress
ing down the hall porter because of a
mislaid spectacle case when the Frau Gen-
eral seated herself beside the driver and
Mr. Visconti sat beside Wolf in the back.
"Drive ofl.” the general's wife said

“The driver hesitared, but he was
more afraid of the wife than the |
band. The general came out imo the

street and shouted to them as they drove

olla tink had stopped to give preced-
ence to the stall сат. Nobody. paid any
attention то the general's shouts except

Wolf. He clambered all over Mr. Viscoi

ti, thrusting his evil-wnclling parts against
Mr. Viscontis face, knocking off. Mr
Visconti's clerical hat, barking [uriously

to get out. The Frau Gen
loved Wolf, but it was the
Wolf loved. Probably the general со
cerned himself with its food and its exei
Blindly, Mr. Viscor fumbled lor
the handle of tie window. Before the
window was properly open, Wolf jumped
right into the path of the following tauk
lc Hattened him. Mr. Visconti, looking
back, thought that he resembled one ol
those biscuits they make for children i
the shape of animals

“So Mr, Visconti was rid of both dog
and general and able to ride in
reasonable comfort 10 Florence. Mental
comfort was another maner and the ger

was

cral's wile was hysterical with griel. Mr.
Visconti, as I have told you, was not a
religious man, and the consolations he
offered, I can well imagine, were insuffi-

cient and unconvincing. Perhaps he spoke
of punishment for the Fran €
sins for Mr. had a
atreak—imd of the purgatory that we sut-
fer on earth. Poor Mr Visconti, he must
have had a hard time of it all the way
to Florence.”
“What happened to the general?"

Не was captured by the Allies, 1
believe, but I'm not sure whether or not
he was hanged at Nuremberg.”

Mr. Visconti must have
on his conscience,"

seneral's

Visconti sadist

great deal

Visconti hasn't gor a conscience,
my aunt said with please

For some reason, ап old restaurant саг
with a kind of [aded elegance was at
tached to the Express alter the Turkish
frontier, when it was already too late 10
be of much use. My aunt rose carly that
day and the wo of us sat down to excel-
lent colle, toast and jam: Aunt. Augusta
insisted on our drinking in addition a
light ved wine, though. Í am not
tomed to wine so early in the morning.
Outside the window, an ocean of long un-
iting gras stretched to a palegreen
horizon. There was the talkative cheerful-
ness of journeys end in the air and the
car filled with passengers whom we had
never seen before: A Vietnamese in blue
dungarees spoke 10 a rumpled gil in
shorts, and iwo young Ате
man with hair as long а
joined them. holding lr ў
lused a second cup of coffee after carefully

accus-

the

counting their money
Where's Tooley?” my aunt asked.
"She wasn’t Teeling well

worried about ber, Aunt Ai

young man’s |
ay not have arrived. He may even have
gone on without her
"Where to?
"She's nor

sure. Katmandu or

is a rather unpredictable
7 Aum Augusta said. “I'm not eve
e what I expect to find there myself”
What do you think you'll find?
I have a litle business to do with an
old friend, General Abdul. 1 was expect-

ing a telegram at the St. James and
Albany, but none Gime. 1 can only hope
that there's a message waiting for us at

the Pera Palace

“Who is the general?

“L knew him in the days of poor Mr.
Visconti.” my aunt said, “He was very
useful t0 us in the negotiations with
Saudi Arabia, He was Turkish ambas
dor then in Tunis. What parties we had
in those days at the Excelsior. A Не
different from the Crown and Anchor
and a drink with poor Wordsworth.

The see

ery changed as we approached
Istanbul. The grassy sea was left behind
and the Express slowed down t0 the speed
of a lile locil commutes train. When
1 leaned from the window, 1 could scc
over a wall into the yard of а cottage: 1
in talking distance of a red-skirted
girl. who looked np at us as we crawled
by; a man mounted a bicycle and for a
while kept pace with us. Birds on а red
tiled roof looked down their long beaks
and spoke together like villa

1 said, "Fm awfully afr
eys going to have а baby.”

"She ought to take precautions, Henry,
but in any case, its T
to worry.

"Good heavens, Aunt Augusta

€ gossips.
id that Tool-

too carly for you

T didn't

гч

wa
f `

^ S0 smooth-world's best selling Scotch

© ‘Blended Scotch Whisky. 86.8 Proof. Imported by Somer set Importers, Ltd., New York, N.Y.

PLAYBOY

226

mean that . . . how can you possibly
think... 7
“It’s a natural conclusion,” my aunt

said. "You have been much together. And
the girl has a certain puppy charm.

“I'm too old for that sort of thing.

"You are a young man in your fifties,”
Aunt Augusta replied.

The door of the restaurant car clanged
md there was Tooley, but a Tooley
transformed. Perhaps it was only that she
had put on less shadow, but her eyes
seemed to be sparkling as I had never
known them to before. “Hi,” she called
down the length of the car. The four
young people turned and locked at her
nd called back, "Hi" as though they
had been long acquainted. “Hi,” she
ced them in return. and I felt a
1 ache of jealousy, as the
ations of early mor

"Good morning, good morning," she
said to the two ol us; she seemed to be
speaking a different language to the old.
“Oh, Mi. Pulling, i's happened.
What's happened

cause, Гус got the curse. T was
you see. The jolting of the train, 1
it did do it, Гус got a terrible
bellvache, but 1 feel fabulous I can't
wait to tell Julian. Oh, I hope he's at the
when I get there."

fou going ro the Gülhane?"
American boy called across.

“Yes, are you?”

“Sure. We can all go together.”

the

“That's fabulous.”
come and have a coffee. if you've got
the money.

ou dont mind,
said to my aunt.
Gülhane, too."
"Of course we don't mind, Tooley.
"You've been so kind, Mr. Pulling,”
she said. 71 don't know what Fd have
done without vou. | mean, it was a bit
e the dark night of the soul.
1 realized then that 1 preferred her to
all me Smudge.
“Go gently on the с
dvised һе
"Oh," she said, "I don't need to econo-
mize now. They'll be easy to get, 1 mean
t anything ас
ГШ be scing
Uu
But she didn't. She had become one of
the young now, and I could only wave to
her back as she went ahead of us
through the customs, The two Americans
still walked hand in hand and the Viet-
namese boy carried “Tooley’s sack and
had his arm round her shoulders to pro-
teet her from the crowd that was squeez-
to get through the barrier
customs hall. My responsibility was over,
ed on in my memory, like a
that worries even
: doesn't a sickness as
just such ?
1 wondered whether Julian was wait-

do you?" Tooley
“They're going to the

arenes, Tooley,”

wa

ing for her. Would they go on to K.
mandu? Would she always remember to
take her pill? When I shaved again more
closely at the Pera Palace, 1 found I had.
missed in the obscurity of my coach a
small dab of lipstick upon the cheek.
Perhaps that was why my aunt had
jumped to so wrong a conclusion. I
wiped it off and found myself wondering
at once where Tooley was now. I scowled
at my own face in the glass, but I was
really scowling at her mother in Bonn
d her father somewhere in the CLA,
and at ob с
and at all those who ought to have been
looking alter her and yet felt no respon-
sibility at all.

Aunt Augusta and Т had lunch in a
restaurant called Abdullah's and then
she took me around the tourist. sighis—
the Blue Moxque and Santa Sophia but.
I could tell all the time that she was
worried, There had been no messige
waiting for her ar the hotel.

Can't you telephone to the g
T asked her.

“Even at the Tunis embassy,"
said, "he never trusted his own line."

We stood dutifully in the cemer of
Santa Sophia—the shape, which had
been beautiful once, perhaps, was ob-
scured by ugly Arabic signs painted. in
pale Khaki, so that it looked like the huge
drab w а railway station
cut of peak traffic | A few peuple
stand а! if lanking for the es of
trains, and there was а man who carried
a suitcase.

I'd forgotten how hideous it wa
aunt said. "Let's go home.”

Home was an odd word to use for the
асе, which had the appearance
on built for а world’s

eril?

she

my

рау

bar, which was all frerwork and mirrors
there was still no message from Ger

int nonplused.

“When did you last hear from
asked.

“L told you I heard from bim in Lon-
don, the day after those policemen came.
And E had a message from him in Milan
through Mario. Everything was in orde:
he said. If there had been апу change,
Mario would have kr
Tvs nearly dinne

"E don’t want any food. Im sorry,
Henry. I feel а little upset. Perhaps it is
the result of the train's vibration. 1 shall
зо to bed and wait for the telephone. I
cannot believe that he will let me down
Mr. Visconti had ıt belief in
eral Abdul, and there were very few
people whom he trusted.

Thad dinner by myself in the hotel
rant that reminded me of
good dinner. I
drunk several rakis, to which I
was unaccustomed, and. perhaps the ab-
sence of my aunt made me a little light-

him?

headed. I was not ready for bed, and I
hed I had Tooley with me as a com-
ion. I went outside the hotel and
found a taxi driver there who spoke a
little English. He told me he was Gree
but that he knew Istanbul as well as if it
were his own city. “Safe,” he kept on
saying, “safe with me,” waving his hand
as though to indicate that there were
wolves lurking by the walls and alleys. 1
told him to show me the city. He drove
down narrow street after narrow street
i no vista anywhere and very litle
nd then drew up ata dark and

asleep on the step. “Safe
V" he said, "safe, clean. Very safe,”

the house with

Afessaggero.

"No. no" I said, "drive on. 1 didn't
mean that” I wied to explain. “Take
me." 1 said, "somewhere quiet. Some-

where you would go yourself, With yo
friends. For a drink. With your friends.

We drove several miles along the Sea
of Marmar me to
a plain, uninteresting building marked
WEST HEREIN noret. Nothing could have
belonged less to the Istanbul of my im-

the ruins of Berlin by a local contractor
at low cost. The driver Jed the way into
hall that ogenpied the whale gra
space of the hotel. A young woman stood
by а small piano and sang what 1 sup-
posed were sentimental songs to an audi-
ence of middle-aged men in their shirt
sleeves sitting at big tables, drink
beer. Most of them, like my own driver,
had big gray mustaches, amd they ap-
planded heavily and dutifully when the

song was over, Glasses of beer were
placed in front of us and the driver and
1 drank 10 each other. It was good beer,

1 noticed, and when 1 poured it on top
of all the vaki and the wine 1 had
already drunk, my spirits rose. In the
young gil, 1 saw a resemblance to Tooley,
amd the men reminded me ol another
name—"Do you know General Abdul?”
Lasked the driver, He hushed me quickly.
1 looked around again and realized that
there was not another woman in the big
hall except the young singer, and at this
moment the piano stopped and, with a
ice at the clock, which marked m
inl seized her handbag and
» out through а door at the back.
"Then, alter the glasses had been refilled,
ist struck up a more virile tunc
I the middle-uged men rose and
put their arms around cach other's shoul-
ders and began to dane cles
that they enlarged, broke and formed
again.

They charged, they тепешей, they
stamped the floor in unison. No onc
spoke to his neighbor; there was no

forming c

“Hey—what about foreplay?!”

227

PLAYBOY

228

drunken jollity: I was like an outsider at
some religious ceremony of which he
couldn't interpret the symbols. Even my
driver left me to put his arm round
another man's shoulders,
more beer to drown my sense of being
excluded, D was drunk, 1 knew that, for
drunken tears stood in my eves, and I
wanted to throw my beer glass on the
floor and join the dancing, But | was
excluded, as I had always been excluded.
Tooley had joined her young friends. My
aunt was probably talking about things
that mattered to her with General Ab-
dul, She had greeted her adopted son
in Milan more freely than she had ever
ered me, She had said goodbye to
Wordsworth in Paris with blown kisses
and tears in her eyes. She had a world of
her own to which I would never be
admitted, and I would have done benter,
I told myself, if I had stayed with my
dahlias, So I sat in the West Berlin
Hotel, shedding beery tears of self-pity
amd envying the men who danced with
their arms round strangers shoulders.
“Take me away." 1 said to the driver
when he returned. “Finish your beer, but
take me away.”

You are not pleased?” he asked, as we
drove uphill toward the Pera Palace.

“I'm tired, that’s all. I want to go to
bed.”

Two police cars blocked our way out-
side the Pera Palace. An elderly man,
who carried a walking stick crooked over
his let arm, was reaching with a still
ght leg toward the ground as we drew
up. My driver told me in a tone of awe,
“That is Colonel Hakim." The colonel
wore a very English suit of gray flannel
with chalk stripes, and he had a small
gray mustache. He looked like any vet-
n member of the Army and Navy
iting at his club.

“Very important man,” my driver told
me. “Very fair to Greeks.”

I went past the colonel into the hotel.

The receptionist was standing in the
entrance, presumably to welcome him; 1
was of so little importance that he
wouldn't shift to let me by. I had to walk
round him and he didn't answer my
good night. A lift took me up to the filth
floor. When I saw a light under my
аши? door, I tapped and went in. She
was sitting upright in bed, wearing a bed
jacket, and she was reading a paperback
with a Jurid cover.
Tve been seeing Istanbul," I told her.
So have 1." The curtains were drawn
back and the lights of the city lay below
us, She put her book down. The jacket
showed a naked young woman lying in
bed with a knife in her back, regarded
by a man with a cruel face in a red fez.
The title was Turkish Delight. “I have
been absorbing local atmosphere,” she
said

“Is the man in the fez the murderer?”

"No, he's the policeman. A very

nd I drank

unpleasant type called Colonel Hakim

"How very odd, because —

“The murder takes place in this very
Pera Palace, but there are a good many
details wrong, as you might expect fro
a novelist. The girl is loved by a British
secret agent, a tough sentimental man
alled Amis, and they have dinner to
gether on her last night at Араша
you remember we had lunch there our-
selves They have a love scene, too, in
Santa Sophia, and there is an attempt on
Amis life at the Blue Mosque. We might
almost have been doing a literary
pilgrimage."

“Hardly litera

“Oh, you're your father's son. He tried
to make me read Walter Scott, especially
Kob Koy, but | much prefer this. It
moves a great deal quicker and there are
lewer description:

“Did Amis murder her’

"Of course not, but he is suspected by
lonc| Hakim, who has very cruel
methods of interrogation," my aunt said
with relish.

The telephone r;

ng. I answered it.

"Perhaps it's General Abdul at last,"
she s. hough it seems a little late 10;
him to ring."

“This is the reception speal
Miss Bertram therez"

“Yes, what is it?”

“L am sorry to disturb her, but Colonel
Hakim wishes to see her”
At this hou? Quite
Why?”

“He is on the way up now
olf,

“Colonel Hakim is on the w

Is

impossible.

* He rang

to see

The real Colonel Hakim. He's a po-
lice officer, too.

“A police officer?" Aunt Augusta said.
“Again? I begin to think 1 am back in
the old days, With Mr. Visconti. Henry,
will vou open my suitcase? The green
one. You'll find a light coat there, Fawn,
with a fur collar.

"Yes, Aunt Augusta, I have it here.”

"Under the coat, in a cardboard box,
you will find a candle—a decorated
andie.”

1 see the box

"Take out the candle. but be careful,
because it's rather heavy. Put it on my
bedside table and light it. Candlelight is
better for my complexion,”

It was extraordinarily heavy, and 1
nearly dropped it, It probably had some
kind of lead weight at the bottom, 1
thought, to hold it steady. A bi,
scarlet wax that stood a foot high, it was
decorated on all four sides with scrolls
and coats of arms. A great deal of artist-
ry had gone imo molding the wax that
would melt away only too qui&kly. 1 lit
the wick. "Now, turn out the light," my
aunt said, adjusting her bed jacket and
puffing up her pillow. There was a knock

brick of

on the door and Colonel Hakim came in.

He stood near the doorway and bowed.
ss Bertram?” he asked.

“Yes. You are Colonel Hakim?"

“Yes 1 am sorry to call on you so late
without warning" He spoke
with only the faintest imtona
think we have a mutual acqu:
General Abdul. May I sit down?

"Of course. You'll find that. chair

by
the dressing table the most comfortable.

This is my nephew, Не

"Good evening, Mr. Pulling. 1 hope
you enjoyed the dancing at the West
Berlin Hotel, A convivial spot unknown
to most tourists. May I turn on the light,
Miss Bertram

“L would rather not, I ha
and I s prefer to

ry Pulling.

€ weak eyes

w: ad by candle-

beautiful candle."

“They make them in Vei
coats of arms belong to their [our great-
est doges Don't ask me their names.
How is General Abdul? I had been hop-
ing to meet lı

“Lam afraid General Abdul is a very
sick man." Colonel Hakim hooked his
walking stick over the mirror before he
sat down. He leaned his head forward to
my aunt at a slight angle, which gave
him an air of deference, but 1 noticed
that the real reason was a small heari
aid that he carried in his right car. "He
was a great friend of you and Mr. Vis
conti, was he not

“The amount you know," my aunt
said with an endearing smile

ice. The

“Oh, it’s my disagreeable business,’
the colonel l, "to be a Nosy Harker
“Parker,

ly English is rusty
“You had me followed to the West
Berlin Hoteli” 1 asked.

“Oh, no, I suggested to the driver that
he should take you there," Colonel Ha-
kim saîd. “1 thought it might interest you
and hold your attention longer than it
did. The fashionable night clubs here
are very banal and international. You
might just as well be in Paris or London,
except that in those cities, you would see
a better show. Of course, I told the
driver to take you somewhere else first.
One never knows.

“Tell me about General Abdul" my
aunt said mily. "What is wrong
with hi

Colonel Hakim leaned forward a little
more in his chair and lowered his voice
as though he were confiding a secet,
“Не was shot,” he said, “while trying to

escape."
“Escape?” my aunt exclaimed. "Escape
from whom?
rom me,” Colonel Hakim said with

shy modesty and he fiddled at his hear-
ing aid, A long silence followed his
words. There seemed noth
Even my aunt was at a loss.

he sat back

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PLAYBOY

230

against the pillow with her mouth

little open. Colonel Hakim took a tü
out of his pocket and opened it. “Excuse
me,” he said, “eucalyptus and menthol. T
suffer from asthma.” He put a lozenge

into his mouth and sucked. There was
silence again until my аши spoke.
“Those lozenges can't do you much
ad,” she said.
“I think it is only the suggestion. Ам
ma is a nervous disease. The lozenges
wem to alleviate it, but only, perhaps,
because | believe they alleviate it" He
panted a little when he spoke.
always apt to get an attack when 1
the climax of a case

“Mr. Visconti suffered from asthma,
too,” Aunt Augusta said. “He was cured
by hypnotism.”

“L would not like to. put myself. хо
completely in someone else's hands,

“Of course, Mr. Visconti had a hold
on the hypnotist
fes, that makes a difference
Hakim stid with approval. “And where
is Mr. Viscon

"Dve no

“Nor had
want the

"| am

Colonel

eral Abdul. We only
n for the Interpol
т is more than thirty years

personal interest. It is not the real sub.
ject of my interrogation,"
‘ogated, Colonel”

way. We have found a letter from you to
General Abdul that speaks about an

investment he had recommended. You
wrote to him that you found it esential
to make the investment while in Europe

d anonymously, and this presented cer-
in difficulties.”

Surely, you are not working for the
nk ol England, Colonel?”

am not so fortunate, but General
Abdul was planning a litle trouble here;
he was very short of funds. Certain
friends with whom he had speculated in
the old days came back to his mind. So
he got in touch with you—perhaps lic
hoped through you to contact Visconti
i ith а German called Weis-
mann, of whom you probably haven'

1
heard, and wih а man called Harvey
Crowder, who is a meat packer in Chica-
go. The CIA have had him under obser-
vation for a long while and they reported
to us. ОГ course, | mention these names
only because all the men аге under aries
and have talked.

“IE you really have to know,” my aunt
said, "for the sake of your files, General
Abdul recommended me to buy Deutsche
Texaco convertible bonds—out of the
question in England because of the dol-
lar premium, and from En,
for an English resident, quite illeg;

way

I had to remain
"Yes" Colonel F d,
not bad at alb as a cover story.

"By and large, gentlemen, I'm sure we all deplore
this so-called Mafia; but, by God, we've got to admit
that this is a damned attractive tender offer. . . .

began to pant again and took another
lozenge. "] mentioned those names only
to show you that General Abdul is now
little senile, One doesn’t finance ап ope
ation in Turkey with foreign money of
thar n like yourself
must have realized that if. his operatic
had any chance of success, he could have
found local support. He would not have
had i0 oler a Chicago meu packer
twenty-five percent interest. and a share
of the profits.”

“Мт. Visconti would certainly
seen through that,” my aunt said.

"Bot now you are a lady living alone
You haven't the benefit of Visconti’s ad-
vice. You might be tempted a Hule by
the quick profi

“Why? Í have no children ло leave
them to, Colonel

“Or, perhaps, by the sense of adve
ише,

"At my

7 My aunt beamed with

а knock on the door and a
policeman entered. He spoke to the colo-
hel and the colonel transkued for our
benefit. “Nothing, "has been
found in Mr. age, bur it
you wouldn't - My man is very
careful, he will wear clean gloves and, 1
assure you, he will leave not the smallest
wrinkle. , . . Would you mind if 1 put
on the electric light while he works?"

^L would mind a great deal.”

1 left my dark gh
Unless you wish to give me a sp
headache —

“OF course not, Miss Bertram. He will
do without, You will forgive us if ihe
search takes a little longer. `

The policeman first went through my
aunts handbag and handed certain pa-
pers to Colonel Hakim. “Forty pounds
1 traveler's checks," he noted.

"1 have cashed ten,” my aunt said
7l see from your air ticket you plan 10
leave tomorrow—I mean today. A very
short visit. Why did you come by train,
Miss Bertram:
1 wanted (O see my stepson in Milan."
The colonel gave her a quizzical look.
May one ask? Aconding to jour pass

port, vou are unmarried.”

“Mr. Visconti's son.”

h, always that Mr. Viscon

‘The policeman was busy now with my
unts suitcase. He looked in the card-
board Бох that had contained the can
Че, shook it and smelled it.

“That is the box for my candle,” my
aune said. “As E told you, 1 think, the
make these candles in Venice. Опе ca
dle does for a whole journey—t believe
it is guaranteed for twenty-four hours
continuously. Perhaps forty-eight.”

"You are burning a real work of ant,"
the colonel said.

Henry, hold the candle for the police-
man to see better.”

There w;

Again, 1 was astonished by the weight
ol the candle when I lifted it.

“Don't bother, Mr. Pulling, he has
finished

1 was glad 10 put it down a

in.

“Well,” Colonel Hakim said with
smile, “we have found nothing compro-
mising in your luggage.” The policeman

was repacking the case. “Now, just as a
formality, we must go through the roor
And the bed. Mis Bertram, if you will
consent to sit in a ch;

He took part in this search himself,
limping Пот one piece of furniture to
another, sometimes feeling with his stick,
under the bed and at the back of a
drawer. “And now Mr. Pullings pock-
cts,” he saîd. 1 emptied them rather
ngrily onto the dressing table, He looked
carefully through my notebook and drew
out a cutting from the Daily Telegraph.
ad it aloud with a puzzled frown:
“Those that took my fancy were the
ed Майте Roger, lightred, white-

He

у

pped Cheerio, deep-crimson Arabian
Night and Black Flash, and sculet
Bacchus. .. 7

"Please explain, Mr. Pulling.

“It is self-cxplanatory,” 1 said stillly
“Then you must forgive my ignorance.”
“The report of a dahlia show. In Chel-

1 am very interested in dahlias.

sea
“Flowers?
“OL course th

The n

y are flowers.
sounded. so oddly like
those of horses. I was puzled by the
deep crimson.” He put the cutting down
and limped to my aunt's side. “I will say
pod night now, Miss Bertram, You have
made my duty tonight a most agreeable
one, You cannot think how bored I get
with exhibitions of injured innocence. 1
will send a police car to take you to your

ae romor
Pease don’

bother. We cm take a

taxi”
“We should be sorry to scc you miss

your plane
“L think, perhaps, 1 ought to stop over

one more day and see poor General
Abdul.”
“Lam afraid he is not allowed visitors.

What is this book you are reading? What
а very ugly fellow with a red fez. Has he
stabbed the giri?”

No. He is the policeman. He is called
Colonel Hakim," my aunt. said with a
look of satisfaction.

Alter the door had closed, 1 turned
will some anger on my ; “Aunt
Augus,” 1 said, “what did all that
means”

‘Some little political trouble. I would
imagine. Politics in Turkey are taken
more seriously than they are at home, It
ly quite recently that they execut-
ed a prime minister. We dream of i
but they aet. 1 hadn't realized, T admi
what General Abdul was up to, Foolish
of him att his age. He must be ei

was с

“Whal rhymes with fellatio?”

day, but I believe in Turkey there are
more centenarians than in any other
European country. Yet 1 doubt wheth
poor Abdul is likely to make his century
Do vou realize that they're deporting
us? I think we should call the British
embassy."
You exaggerate, dem
s a police ca

They are just

“I have no ition of refusing, We
were already booked an the plane, After
making my investment here, 1 had no
imention of lingering around, I didit
expea quick profits, and twenty five per-

ilways involves a risk.”

"What invesument, Aunt
Forty pounds in traveler's check

‘Oh, по, dear. 1 bought quite а

Augusti

rge
gold ingot in Paris. You remember the
man from the Бап...
So that was what they w
ior. Where on earth had you hidden it,
Aunt August:

1 looked at the candle, and 1 remem-
bered its weight.

"Yes. dear" my aunt said, "how clever
of you to guess. Colonel. Hakim didn't.

looking

You can blow it ont now." I lifted it up
aga have weighed newly 20
pou

1 propose to do with

this now?"

“L shall have to take it back to Е
land with me. It may be of use another
time. It was most fortunate, when you
come to think of it, that they shot poor
General Abdul before 1 gave him the
lle and not after. 1 wonder if he is
really still alive. They would be likely to
glide over Tike that with
woman. I Mass said for
in any case, beciuse а man of that ag
unlikely to survive a bullet long. The

shock al if it were not in a vital
part —
1 interrupted her speculations. "You're
not going to take tl gor back into
England gland. I was irritat
ed by the absurd jangle that sounded
like a comic song, “Have you no respect
at all for the law
It depends, dear, to which haw you
Wer. Like the Ten Commandments. |
can't take very seriously the one abont
the ox and the ass
The English customs are i
fooled as the Turkish police,
7A used candle is remarkably convinc-
ing, I've wied it belore.
"Nor if they lift it uy
“Buu they won't, dear. Perhaps if the
wick and the was were inta, they
ight think they could charge me pur-
tax. Or some suspicious olhcer
might think it a phony candle cont
ing drugs. Bur a used candle. Oh, no, 1
think the danger is very small. And
there’s always my age to protect me
“L refuse to go back into England with

те. eve

so easily

ingot.” "he jangle irritated me
“But you have no choice, dear. The
colonel will certainly see us onto the

ne and there is no stop before. Lon-
don. The gre: de
ported is that we shall not have to piss
ihe Turkish customs ў

“Why on earth did you do it, Aum
Augusta? Such a risk..."

“Mr. Visconti is in nee:

“He stole yours,

"That was a long time ago. Ir will all
be finished by now."

ol money.”

This is the third and concluding part
of “Crook's Tour," а selection from a
new novel by Graham

231

PLAYBOY

232

“I told you we wouldn't need a tree.”

Aw nf

DUPLEX PENTHOUSE

attendant and take the elevator, which
whisks you up to the penthouse.

The elevator opens, you step inside
the first-level foyer and the door closes
again. To your right is the living-room
area's slightly sunken talk pit, with
leather-covered Domino Chairs, the backs
of which сап be removed as comfort di

tates. When, say, a chestnut roast is the

order of the day or evening, the two sec
ons directly [acing the fireplace may be
moved aside, and then, when you and a
special someone have cooked your fill, a
motorized blackglass hearth screen can
be slid into place.

In the middle of the sunken talk
pit, which is covered with a thick wool
rug, sits a lacquered Knoll cocktail table
Its stainlessstecl top is the answer to a
bachelor's dream, as spilled drinks and
forgotten cigarettes are cleaned up with
the swipe of a cloth, while accumulated
books and magazines can be tucked away
1 Compartment at the center or stashed
п storage areas along the sides.

While vowre in the living-room area,
fix a drink at the wet bar located on the
wall opposite the multipancled floor-to-
ceiling abstract painting. Here, there's
practically every accessory that a mixolo-
gist could desire, inclu
glass chiller, fridge and a well-stocked
liquor cabinet filled with potables
ing from ytnia vodka.

But, as you may already have guessed,
there's much more to the livingroom
area than first meets the eye. For exam-
ple, the outsized abstract you've been ad-
miring was created with abrasionproof
acrylic paints applied to panels that open
hy remote control to reveal the latest in
video and audio equipage.

All of the vall's built-in gear is operat-
ed from a master control panel bet
the abstract, while a number of the m
controls are duplicated im an auxiliary
^s been placed conveniently at
reach just behind the couch and
10 the right of the fireplace hearth. Thus,
you can remain seated with your guests
while entert п your elec
tronic shown

And what a show it can be. When the
painted. pancls behind the Torino table
and chairs that serve as a game area have
been flipped out of the way by remote
control, the room (or the entire duplex,
if you choose) becomes the sou
board for the latest advancement in
technology—four-channel

pstrtct pa
posite wa

inting and two on the op-
Н at either side of the bar) are
connected to a OO0-watt amplifier that
puts out 150 watts IHF music power per
channel. With this system, listeners are
literally at the hub of the room's hi-fi

(continued from page 161)

system (other leisure rooms also have
four mounted speakers).

Of course, you're not limited to four-
channel tape: while in the living-room
area, vou can select whatever sound source
suits your fancy: an automatic and a man-
ual turntable (the latter is equipped with
a straighttracking tonearm that holds
an ultrasensitive cartridge capable of
high trackability); AM, FM, short-wave
and FM stereo pulled in by tuners that
v hooked to a rotating audio-video
ster antenna mounted on the roof: and
reelto-reel, cassette and cartridge tape
decks that allow all types of material to
be recorded, played back and/or convert-
ed to another format. Most of the LPs in
your collec п auto-
matic selector-pl: h does away
with the frustration of having to flip
through a stack of albums for а favorite
recording. The selector-player—controlled
by a set of push butions located over
ng 500 vertically filed LPs—
es a mechanical arm that slides the
record forward for play or offers it up to
the operator. After a side is finished, the
record is returned to its slot. The selector-
player, of course, is a boon to parties, as
music can be programed prior to the
guests |. (Platters that require very
delicate handling are stored by hand in
padded bins below the manual turntable)
Audio rape reels and cassette. cartridges.
re retrieved from special compartments
by a push-button selector that slides the
desired tape forward, ready for play. All
pes аге stored in heat-resistant and п
netically shielded drawers.

н the center of your and-sound
setup are three color with
diagonaLinch screens (while you:
ng one show, you cin be transcribing
another on set number two and have
d one free for closed-
в)-

Tied into the TVs are tice. multi-
tape recorders capable of
nything from professional col-
or video tapes to the quarter-inch home
video variety. Black
video tapes сап be made by using one of
three portable, wireless TV cameras that
stand ready in their recharging storage
racks. АП video-tape-recorder film Gn-
isters arc stored out of sight in special
compartments. On a night when you're
away from the pad, one of these color
units can be set to tape a show [or later
viewing,

Both 8mm silent and sound movies
2x2 slides (all with a synchr
nized audio tape) can be electronically
projected. onto of the
screens. However, when a 1
35mm

m

TVs

cuit mon-

speed video
handling д

nd-white or color

ad

mm or a
m is on the cvening's agenda,

ax
ered in front of the entertainment wall
and the film is then rear-projected onto
it, the ceiling speakers supplying the
audio.

So much for the cameras and the elec-
tronic action of your apartment, How do
you turn on the myriad flush-mounted
ceiling lights installed throughout the
penthouse? These, too, сап be con
trolled Irom your electronic wall,
through the use of a unique card system
that enables you to instantly illuminate
all or specific areas by simply inserting
perforated card into a slot hooked up to
а minicomputer. All cards are labeled
and stored in the wall and, Гог conven
ience' sake, individual room lights can be
turned on and off by a concealed button
A duplicate card system is also built into
the headboard of the master bed.

Incoming phone calls first r
the entertainment wall, where an an-
swering service either takes the message
or transfers the call to the area you're
in. If you wish to speak to (he party,
the push of a button will switch the caller
to the room and his or her voice will
come in soft and dear over the ceiling
speakers. Two-way conversations сап be
held, as the speakers double as amplifier-
microphones, (For more private conver-
sations, a number of phones and phone
jacks are also strategically placed about
the pad.)

There are other details in the living-
room area worthy of note. On either side
of the whitestucco fireplace wall, which
contrasts with the blackeslate floor used
throughout the penthouse (except where
there's carpeting), are floor-to-ceiling glass
doors that roll back, permitting access to
jo-terrace with a fireplace plus
rs placed next to à small gar-
den that's open to the sky. A spiral май
Case winds upward to a second-level
patio-terrace, directly above, that's adja-
cent to the master bedroom.

Next to the reflecting pool you
оп entering the livingroom arca is
conveniently located powder room oppo:
site a cantilevered stairway that also leads
to the second level. And here, too—on
hoth levels—is a minigallery for «поса:
g a collection of contemporary or clay
1 vertic
g another fooro
g glass door, you can stroll
omo two other patio-terraces, one оп
each of the levels

The Oriental-influenced dining
located at the opposite end of ейге!
(see the floor plans on the following page),
offers ап additional spectacular view of
the city: doors open onto a terrace re
plete with greenery and a card table and
chairs placed there for warm-weather
outdoor gaming purposes. The thickly
carpeted dining area (check the render
ing on page 158) is conducive to casu

1% projection screen can be low-

ister оп

ised

sical sculpture. By parting v
shades

ad оре
slidi

233

PLAYBOY

PLAYBOY'S DUPLEX PENTHOUSE-—FIRST LEVEL

Japanesestyle dining. Eight cushions with
сыр backs are positioned around a
permanent. pedestal table with a marble
top that can be raised or lowered hy-
draulically, When guests are being treated
10 comestibles either Oriental or Occiden-
tal, they don't experience that uncorifort-
ably cramped feeling: "There's a well
under the table for their legs. Here,
di be served after
tised to the standard
304nch height (thus closing off the leg
well), the cushions removed and chairs
provided,

As you stand in the dining area, gazing
toward the pat e, the room to your
lelt is the offic ictum sancto-
rum where you can take care of pressing
business matters or simply get away from
it all. А mansized mahogany desk with
a swivel chair dominates the room, while
books, paper, magazines, stationery,
pipes and humidors, electric typewriter,

dictating machine amd correspondence
are stashed in bookshelves and storage
compartments built into two. walls—one
behind the desk and the other opposite it
234 amd just behind a table and two high

bucked leather lounge chairs with
ached high-intensity gooseneck lamps.
(Induding an ollice-study in the pent
house, of course, gives you an income-
tax break, as you сап deduct the cost
1 depreciation of equipment and
supplics, plus a percentage of the annual
upkeep.)

Back in the dining area again, facing
the patio-terrace, the room to your right
is the Kitdien—a culinary oasis where a
midnight snack for one or two, a sit
down dinner for eight or a bullet for 50
cm be masterminded with a minimum
of fuss and bother. The kitchen floor,
100, is black slate for casy m
while the floor-to-ceiling cabinets that
stand on either side of the slidi
door opening onto the patio-terrace are
of burnished aluminum.

In the center of the room is an enamel
finished cooking island with a m:
ing overhead hood exhaust that
whisks odors up and away. Set into the
countertop are four highspeed electric
surface units and a gas grill that can
impart a smoky and savory barbecue
flavor to whatever is being prepared,

nicnance,

either directly on the grill or skewered
оп a countertop rotisserie attachment
that does the dish to а turn.

Under the counter is a superfast micro-
wave oven that never needs cleaning,
reached by pivoting open a portion of
the islands side paneling. A potato
popped into the oven is baked and ready
for sour cream and chives in four min-
utes flat; a medium-rare standing rib
roast is clocked in at six minutes per
pound. During a dinner party, food fresh
from the oven arrives at the table piping
hot, not lukewarm, as the main course
can be cooked while the consommé bowls
are being deared away.

The upper portion of the kitchen wall
seen on page 159 serves re
for nonrefrigerated viands housed there
hy means of a series of vertical conveyor
belts. Compartments containing. spices,
med goods, tins of coffee and te:
party-food munchables and other miscel-
neous culinary necessities revolve into.
pw at the touch of a button. On this
all, too, is a digital clock and, above it,
a screen onto which recipes can be rear-
projected in outsized type that can be
easily read from across the room; all
recipes are held in a master drum th
operates by push buttons similar to those
ol a jukebox.

On the opposite wall is another
identically dimensioned floor-to-ceiling
also of burnished aluminu
Here, there's a stainlesssteel triple sink
with disposals, hooked up to a reverse-
osmosis membrane that's built into the
pad’s main water supply. Thus, when
any tap t is turned on,
out pours purified soft water that's crystal
clear. By the kitchen sink is a built

sa storage

high-speed dishwasher that removes eve
the gooiest gourmandial vestiges of the

t before,

In place of the conventio d all-
too-bulky freestanding fridge and freeze
you pluck your choice of meats,
vegetables, fruits and other fare that
require cold storage from cabinets and
bins that keep their cool at a constant

temperature. And should you be faced
with a full day of meetings that are cer-
tain to continue well into the evening,

you can, prior to leaving for the office,
take a precooked and frozen caserole,
place it in a special drawer that both
freezes and heats, activate a timer and,
that night, after a cocktail ог two, the
dinners main course will be aw:
asure, piping hot.

bottle of wine—be it a velvety
ts burgundy or a Portuguese
vinho verde—is desired, there are 200
choices, housed in a vertical and venti-
lated honeycomb wine bin, quite possibly
the best place to age a munificent selec-
tion of v ves this side of Bordeaux,

ting

Behind the floor-to-ceiling storage area
(as you'll see by checking the floor
plan) is a combination. pantry-laundry
тоот, where additional provisions can
be stored.

Lets now leave the kitchen. There's
an entire second level of the penthouse
yet to explore and it's time you strolled
up the cantilevered stairway and looked
about

n the second-
level foyer—which, again, has a black-
slate floor—there are three open wells
surrounded by catwalks from which you
can look down into the living-room area,
the dining area and the reflecting pool.
Nearby, you'll find two storage closets, one
for bedding and blankets and the other
for sporting pear, camera equipment, etc.

As we mentioned before, the first level
у dedicated

your elec-
tronic wizardry and culinary expertise,
while the second level is strictly for pri
vacy—except, of course, when an open
house is the order of the night and guests
are free to wander where they choose,
‘The rooms to the right on the floor plan
(those that overlook the li
are a master bath, dressing room and
bedroom complex separated from the rest
of the second level by sliding doors th:
disappear into the wall—just as they do
on the first level.

You've now stepped into the multimir-
rored master bath, which features a
sunken soak tub (set in a radiant-heated
floor), where you relax Japanese
style, light filtering through a small sky-
light directly overhead. Close by are dou-
ble washbasins and on the opposite wall
are push-latch mirrored doors that open
to a wool lined sauna for two, complete
with sun lamp. Adjacent to the sauna
both a lavatory and a shower room,
the latter has custom fittings that include
both high and low sprays. An arm's length
there's additional storage space for
robes, towels, washcloths and toiletries.
А walled patioterrace by the bath pro-
vides a private place to sunbathe.

Connect h the master
bedroom is dressing,
room. Suits, sports jackets and slacks are
stored here in dustproof closets built imo
both sides of a multibulbed three-way

At the top of the stairs,

minor. Also in this area are dustproof
storage trays for shirts, ties, sweaters and
underwear and а waisthigh shoe locker

holding permanently mounted rows of
lever operated shoe tree

Beyond the dressing room is the master
bedroom, where you, the lord of this lofty
manor, can sink into the arms of Mor-
pheus (or a more comely substitute). A
Kingsized sunken bed set in a molded-
fiberglass frame dominates the penthouse
bedroom. On the wall nearest the foot of
the bed is a miniversion of the living-

room area's electronic entertainment wall
containing a closed-circuit. TV-and-
intercom monitoring system that enables
you to communicate with visitors in other
rooms, а color TV and video tape record-
er, LPs and cassettes, plus а four-channel
stereo tape deck and icr connected
to four electrostatic spe

All gear in the bedroom
I can be operated from а prone posi-
ion, as there's an auxiliary panel located
between the bed's adjustable padded
headrests. Lights throughout the pad,
too, can be turned on or winked off from
here by a card-slot mechanism that’s iden-
tical to the one in the living-room area.

Since the lines of the bedroom are
an and contemporary. so the
mings and sculpture. But th
па being turned on electronically by
whatever feeds you and your dates audio-
visual fantasies is really the name of
todays bed game. Once the floor-to-
ceiling painted panels on the wall behind
the head of the bed are flipped back,
a battery of projectors connected to the
control panel between the headrests can
—if you so choose—turn the room into
an electric circus of swirling colors that
contrast with blinking strobes fired in
time to your choice of freaky far-out
sounds. Or, if a softly romantic mood is
what youre after, the room can glow
like an ember, the walls and ceiling pleas-
amly pulsating, while you're screnaded
by sounds more soothingly conducive to
matters at hand.

Outside the bedroom's sliding glass

ci

width of the building, from master bed
room to master bath. Built into the wall
s а low bench (covered with а weather-
proof fabric) that faces a fireplace. Out
here, you can kindle a Late-evening fire,
sip a nocturnal dram or two and listen
to a mobile Ltalian-designed Bri
AM/FM hifi ljcent to
fireplace.

At the opposite end of the second
level
and

and the sauna. When
outof-town guests drop in for а weck-
end or a week, they're assured of both
privacy and the latest refinements in
luxury living.

All the rooms in the penthouse—each
of which is air filtered and humidified—
feature individual thermostats that en-
able you to select whatever degree of
warmth or air conditioning best suits the
season or the occasion.

Obviously, your duplex Playboy Pent-
house circa 1970 is more than just the
top two floors of an urban apartment
building. It’s a modern-living signpost
that indicates the direction interior de-
sign and electronic technology will be
taking during the upcoming decade. But,
more important, it's also a bachelor ha-
ven styled for a man of taste who wants
a place where he can entertain. friends
ake his private ease with equal

“Harry, everybody who passes us by isn't a Communist!”

235

236

MICHAEL CRICHTON medical transplant

ALTHO
iss at 26 with his science-ficti
Strain, Chicago-born Michael Crichton has taken some unusu-
al digressions for a writer. Alter he was graduated. summa
сит laude from Harvard and lectured in anthropology for
semester ai Cambridge, he returned to his alma m
а degree in medicine—although he doesn't plan to practice.
“L simply lost interest im being a doctor and became more
concerned with the conceptual questions of medicine and
science" While studying ıo not be a docio ton wrote so
copiously that he used pseudonyms, 10 make sure his patients
never suspected he was devoting les than full time to their

HE MADE his first sale at 14 and hit the best-seller
1 thriller The Andiomeda

infirmities. One of his books—4 Case of Need, by "Jellery
on an Edgar award as best mystery of the y

Hudson"—
from ih
crichton

ar
Mystery Writers of America. During this. period,
abo worked on Andromeda, published under his
own name just prior to his graduation hom medical school
last June. The three-year cHort produced a story of the terror
cued by an outerspace plague brought into the world by
characters entirely plausible 10 anyone who ponders the perils
of cooperation between science and the mil “I never
expected Andromeda o do as well as it has,” says the author.
7I thought it was too technical, But it put me in a position to
do what 1 want to do creatively. Is given me the prestige 1
need 10 get into projects that interest me." Currently
postgraduate fellow at the Salk Institute in La Jolla, Cali

a—where he does basic research into the effects of
breakthroughs on soci ichton has immersed h
such projects. "Fm doing a novel on dope traffic with my
brother. He's 20 and h pective on the thing 1 can't
get.” Also in the work and a nonfiction book on
medicine. Beyond these efforts, Crichton looks forward to fi
production. 7I want to construct a unified production setup
where the person with the idea can follow through fom con-
ception to fruition.” Being equally at home with science and
fiction, the person with the most likely to be Crichton.

E
JACKIE STEWART king of the road

race for the fun of s 30-yearold world champion
Grand Prix driver John Young (Jackie) Stewart. "But TH be
the first to say that this is a deadly serious business and
should be conducted that wav" The long-haired racing
driver's life style is in the best jetset tradition, but the ev
dence that he practices what he preaches in his di
wade is his track record. Of the eleven Grands Pris run
1969, Stewart won six—a feat exceeded only once in the hall-
century history of the sport, when the speedy Scots compa
triot, the late Jim won seven in 1963. Jackie's younger
years were an open invitation to his present occupation: His
father owned a garage: his mother enjoyed motoring over the
moors in modified sports cars: and his older brother raced
professionally all over Europe. But after the last Stewart had
a spate of death-grazing accidents, Jackie's mother forbade her
younger son to set foot in a race сат. He wasn’t very put olf
by the prohibition, since he had dropped out of school and

busy becoming one of the best skect shooters in the world;
between 1957 and 1962, while living at home, he won nearly
every trapshooting title in the British Empire. Then one day
the traps became tiresome and he simply stopped shooting. It
was then that he heeded friends’ suggestions and turned to the
ce track. In. 1964, after a brilliant professional debut, he
joined the European racing circuit and moved into à London
Aat with Clark. As a rookie Formula Í driver in 1965, Stewart
took the Italian G.P. His next successes were mingled with
smashups, making him a consci igner for safety
as well as speed, His skills highly honed by 1968, he took the
grandes ¿preuves of Holland, y and the United States,
Just Missing the crown he would wear the next year driving
а Matra Ford. Away [rom work, Stewart relaxes at his $210,000
sivacre Swiss villa with his wife, Helen, and their two sons.
He also hunts pheasant in Czechoslovakia, golfs in France,
fishes for salmon in Scotland and, suited by Savile Row, goes
dancing at the inest London discotheques. It’s obvious why,
on or off the track, Stewart is а hard man to keep up with.

DAVID STEINBERG smiting the philistines

ie Амека is likely to w
ing Abraham, Isaac and
Harpo. it is comedi

cological « par
wob with Groucho, Chico and
woravriter David Steinberg. whose
satirical sermonettes proved offensive 10 the CBS censors and
prompted dhe Smothers Brothers’ cancellation. Despite the

controversy, Steinberg was signed last Fall as host of ABC's
Musie Scene, an uptempo version of Your Hit Parade featur-

top rock artists and satirical comedy by Steinberg and a
pany of хонга cohorts. “Tho:
exposure had been mainly <
Scene has allowed I
perspective he displayed
tional Second €
fiw i
School, purs

c

ned 10. sermonizing,
to explore the

tor

тоа, in ТОП, he
nc vo Chica t 15 to study qt the Yeshiva Theological
Talmudic interest instilled in him by
his father—a sometime sometime rabbi, Maier a
UNESCO scholarship sent him to Jerusalem's Hebrew U
verity, where he earned his degie ew Titeraune, he
retuned at I8 to complete a maste i i lite
ише an the University of The Second
City followed
ab New York's Bite Troubadour in Los A
d, finally, on such network shows as Johnny Canons, Dick
Caes, John Davidsons and the Smothers Brothers, He
also scripted a critically acclaimed telev This Is
Sholom Aleichem, starved in two ill-fated Broadway plays,

Iney Poitiers Carry Ale Back to Morningside Heights and
Jules Ренеа Little Murders, and
the film The fost Man. Now,
popularity, Steinberg is pl
with music, which he co-authored with Cy Coleman. The-plot
centers around а New York “gypsy boy"—male chorus dancer
in the insular milieu of Broadway musicals. 1
tever David Steinberg docs, he works at the upper
of his intellect, making, this 58-year-old talent a spe
cial соң business that 100 often opts for inanity.

End, at the

ier in
on his Music Scene
comedy film

iodity ii

PLAYBOY

238

FOR CHRISTS SARE

1. Whether he was confront-
ed by what some considered to be theft,
adultery, tax evasion or whatever, he
consistently refused to play the rulebook
game. That is just what riled so many
people. He made them look within and
decide for themselves. And thats scary.

This is not to say that Jesus had no
interest in the great ethical issues of life.
He certainly did. But there is a difference
between genuine morality and petty mor-
alism. Jesus was concerned about the folly
of looking for real satisfaction in obses-
sively accumulating wealth, He fought
nic hatred, religious snobbery, intellec-
pretense and every form of cultural
hauteur. But a purveyor of rules he was
not. How, then, have the priests made
him into onc?

Simple. Most people don't like to as-
sume the responsibility of making ethical
decisions for themselves. They long des
perately for someone, anyone, to do it for
them: а shrink, a profesor, /
ders. Jesus refused. He was crucified. But
the churches have gladly obliged. So in-
stead of a feast of freedom and a time for
celebrating the gift of choice, the church-
es have turned Christmas into one more
doleful reminder of how grievously we
have all wandered astray and how badly
we need то be set back on the straight
path, Perhaps the most appropriate way
k the birthday of Christ, in his
, Would be to pick out a particularly

deeper le

spi

(continued [rom page 122)
offensive cultural taboo (not a sexual
d celebrate Christ-
sgressing it. Maybe that would
ig a streeowalker to midnight
mass or burning money on the steps of
the First National Bank. Whatever it is,
transgression is good for the soul. And it
also might lower the humbug level of
Christmas, if only by а cubit.

3. The ecclesiastical powers have also
de Christmas into a flimflam by derad-
Jesus, This is their most aston-
ishing example of prestidigitation. After
all, this man was executed by the Ro-
uthorities (no, Lenny, your people
didn't do it; we goyim did) because they
considered him to be a political threat.
No imperial power wastes mails, boards
and soldiers’ time crucifying contempl
tives or harmless spiritual mystics. Jesus
was neither. In fact, recent research by
Professor S. G. F. Brandon, ап English
New Testament scholar, suggests that he
probably much closer to the Zealots
(the Viet Cong of occupied Palestine)
than has previously been thought, or at
ast admitted. That question remains
open one. In any case, the life and
message of Jesus is ill suited as material
for an establishment ideology. But the
elders are truly wise, and also inventive.
‘The real miracle of transubstantiation is
not that the Church turns wine
blood bit thar it has 1
imo a comic ‘To

into

nefarmed Jesi
The song jous

“Ordinarily, Cranston doesn't atlend P. T.A. meetings, but
tonight they've discussing sex education.”

ngs after she conceives him calls
ng down the mighty from their
ones" and "sending the rich away
empty." Jesus himself announced. that
his mission was one of liberating the
aptives. He lampooned the rich, scorned
those in power and defied imperial au-
thority, He cast his lot with the outs, the
їйта and the misfits, the Palestinian
equivalent of hippies, street people and

ouchables. He died the death reserved
for those found guilty of insurrection. On
the whole, an unlikely candidate for the
Union League Club.

Christmas is a swindle because the
«шее have taken a Jesus who was
the hope of beleaguered underdogs and
made him the keystone of the status quo.
Although an occasional Christian today
catches a glimpse of the revolutionary
portent of Jesus, the churches usually do
all they can to discourage such impiety.
Camilo Torres, the guerrilla priest of
Colombia, and Eduardo Mondlane. the
leader of the Mozambique National
eration Front, both modern Christian
rebels, are now, the victims of
political a ion. But before they
were murdered, they were already being
pilloried by their fellow Christians for
not showing patience under tribulation.
You rarely sce their pictures in ci

n rel

dead

rches

jous magit-

c continues. And until

Christianity,
the vast majority of the worlds restive
and enraged poor will rightly continue to
see Christmas not only as humbug but as
a Brscented opiate for the mases who
Jess and less willing to be drugged.
So there you Christmas is a
shell and the blame lics, for the mos
part, on those of us who call ourselves
Christians. Why has it happened? Every
religion has at least two sides. and Chris
tianity is no exception. The figure of
Christ has inspired Mozart's Requiem
Mass, John rebellion, Giotto's
ntings and an endless succession of
Chi so be

used as a knout for social control, a wh
to punish and impove
be two Chr
cleri

There seem to
ts locked in combat. The
1 Christ, the one defined by cecle-
authority, is usually, though not
always, the oppressive one. On the other
hand, the most moving and authentic de
pictions of Christ often come from those
оп the edge or completely outside eccle-
siastical Christianity. Thus, in our time,
the most original filmic portrayal of
ist was made by an Talian Marxist
id atheist, Pier Paolo Pasolini (The
Gospel According to St. Matthew). The
most vigorous modern retelling of Christ's
life was writen by Nikos Kazantzakis
(The Last Temptation of Christ). But
Kazanuakis was relentlessly attacked by
the authorities of the Greek Orthodox

Church and, when he died, was refused
Christian burial. The reason Christmas
is humbug is that the churches аге jealous
and anxious. They want à monopoly on
the portrayal of Christ and the definition
ol his significance. But they no longer
have it, and that is all to the good. Jesus
in not the churches’ property. Christmas
will continue to be humbug until the
churches realize that fact and loose their
death grip on him.

So why can't we just do without
Christmas completely? Get rid of the
whole bag? Its been tried—not only by

the New England Р ns T mentioned
earlier but in some Communist. coun-
ties. But Christmas, humbug and. all,

keeps creeping back. Maybe it happens

because man is an incurable. cclebrator
and also incorrigible dreamer: and
Christ Hits sh | fakery,

press man's festive and imaginative lac
исз, maybe becuse they make n less
suitable Tor the assembly line. Religious
scholars have reinforced (his distortion.
While 1 was doing the research lor my
new book, The Feast of Fools, 1 noticed.
that Am is, especially the
Protestant ones, had written almost noth-
ig on festivity. They have been so ob-
sesed with the oral and intellectual
lacets of religion that they have made
us forget that religion began in feasts,
mime and chant, My own research. has

convinced me bar all our American
religions are deeply infected with ihe
moralistic and anti-lestive qualities of in
dustrial society, The rmh is that in reli-

gion, dance precedes dogma: saturnalia
comes belore sermon, Man is festive. He
thrives on parties, fiestas, holidays, breaks
in his routine, times for toasting, singing
the old songs, remembering and hoping.
Animals play or gambol; men celebrate.
Also. man is a fantasier. He keeps on
dreaming of а world hee of napalm and
cancer and hunger. despite centuries. of
fristrarion. He won't stop hoping. The
central symbols of Christmas, both pa
and Christian. speak 10 that unquench-
able hope. So Christmas uses Homo
sapiens’ tendencies лө celebrate and to
hope. If it were abolish would have
to invent something else to take its place.

Well, then, couldnt this something
else be something without the ven of
religious symbol? Maybe. But 1 doubt

iı. L used to believe, and even hope, that
unkind might someday outgrow its reli-
gious phase and live mately in the

Calm, cool light of reason. But people
ve been. predicting the end of
d the death of God for centuries. And
I no longer seriously believe it will hap-
pen, nor do 1 hope it will

Why? First, because, with a few excep-
tions, T am not very impressed with the
level of imagination, compassion or hu-
man vitality of the people 1 know who
they have left religion behind.

cium.

They usually either retain some set of
iefs they are unwilling to criticize or
п admit they have or they are people
who seem incapable not only of faith
but of any strong emotion. If you have
to become an emotional cretin to kick
religion, the price is too high. Second,
just as we had gonen comfortable with
the idea that religion was disippenr
—on the campuses, for example—it came

buck in а swirl of swamis, gurus, chants,
mantras, tarot cards and / Ching. The
incense business was never better. This

current revival of often. bizarre religious
practices may be a muted scream of pro-
inst the calibrated conformity of
1 society: or it may be a despe

ate search lor a sense of belonging (which
definitely seems to be the case, for exa
ple, with the new communes and the
Krishna Consciousness Movement): or it
he a simple quest for God. Whatever.
ests 10 me that man is more
pus than many of us have
assumed. He thirsts fo
munity and even for
med, his fh
assume very unc

industr

mis

ry, meani

К some sort of

us de-
velopment n thodos,
even weird, forms. But religion, Come
and Marx to the contrary, will probably
not just wither away.

ure reli

Neither can clerical Christianity, as it
now exists, become the religion of the
future. In fact, it is already slipping into

the past, Christ
the reli

Ly will fd a place i
d only if it

wdergoes a reformation so fundamental
and so farreaching it will make the
religious upheaval of the 16th Century
seem like a monk's squabble, Even then.
Christianity cin never again be the sin
gle focus of faith, as it was (for Western
тан, at least) for nearly 1000 years. h
will have to make its contribution along
with the other great religious traditions
of the world and along with the new
symbols rites that ave hound to
emerge in the fui And the contribu-
tion Christianity will bring го this eme

gent pluralistic faith will have ıo do
with the man whose unknown. birthday
mark оп December 25 but whose
story has been so grossly perverted by
generations ol anxious prelates and Grand
or norsoG

and

we on E

«l Inquisitoi
scarcely recognize him
So 1 lilt my flagon to old Ebenezer, He
tells it Jike it is But as D drink I secretly
have another toast in m
to Chris
we Christians have foisted on the world.
wedly with а littl: help
friends at Gimbels and Saks. No. 1 dr
to Christ s it may someday be: a

that today we

ad. ton.

toast

as. Nor the humbi hristmas

fiesta when we celebrare eth and Hesh
and, in the midst of all our hang:
nd tyrannies, remind ourselves that at
least once опе guy lived a reckless, ecstat
imd fully free life every day—and that

maybe someday we all сап.

ps

"It's conclusive, Dr. Veidt. Fue run sixty-five tests

and there's no doubt about it

blondes have more fun.

239

PLAYBOY

240

RONAN РЕЧЕ

necessary to give any dress directives to
the Sabine women who accompany the
soldiers and statesmen of the Empire.
Quite likely, theyll enter your urban
forum sporting brass and gold slave
bracelets, amulets and necklaces and.
perhaps, а Theban toc ring or two. But
you must give the girls a tog talk, make
it known that breastplates are out.
Although your pad's physical dimen-
sions and decor may not measure up to
the Colosseum, that's no excuse 10 turn
thumbs down on the id F

Roman rhemes.

beg. buy or borrow
goodly number of couches, drape th
with white sheets and place brimming
bowls of assorted [ruits (grapes, of cour
v a mus) nearby. Guests who a
cr the festivities are
the others stretched ощ on the
or on the floor, talking, feeding

EI
find
couche:
each other grapes or qualling vino from

outsized goblets, and they, too, will hap-
pily assume a horizontal position. (You'll
he surprised how prone guests will soon
be more prone to suitably sybaritic dally-
ing.) Stacks of throw pillows oller further
solicitations to supine pleasures. Plaster
«ам» of Greek and Roman statuary set
atop Waisthigh facsimiles of classic col-

might bc seattcycd about. I use
some of those noble heads look too solemn.
for such a [estive occasion, top off a few
with laurel wreaths. Designate the door
10 your washroom as the Baths of Ga
calla and provide plenty of terrycloth for
ng off after the tandem tubbing
bound to ensue.

FUN AND GAMES

To keep the conviviality at а
you should act as ring-
Maximus of games.
tion will make your
nbs up on your perform-

con-

lile imagi
guests turn th

ance in the arena of hostmanship. A
figalrowing contest сап be a fruitful
way to enliven the evening. Equipped

with a handful of figs, cach guest can
take his turn ing to toss one into
a loving cup at 20 paces. In the absence
of ambrosia, keep the win
in good spirits with a m
pagne. flavor
provincial amusement:
a number of Gallic wine
erally squirted by your guests
other's open. mouths. Make missing, on
the squirters рап, subject to imperial
punitive measures (such as having to
down the contents of the wine sack alone).
Another excellent ancient custom is
ihe M on Grape Relay. In this gal
vent, there are two teams, with an equal

the
Have on h

Further fling with

au

(continued [rom page 108)
number of gals and gladiators to a side
nd the more the merrier. Each team
es up shoulder to shoulder, alternating
guys with girls. The first man in line from
cach team holds one of the largest, juiciest
grapes in the Empire between his lips. At
ignal from the host (or any other
uthority of S po
sessor ol the tender morsel transfers
no hands, to the lips of the girl n
him; she then passes it on to the next
chap in line. The winning team is the
one that passes the least damaged grape
to the other end of the line the
Another Capitoline comest worthy of
your fete is the Cross-Country Chariot.

Race, Turn your g room into а
Roman obstacle course by laying out a
circuitous Appian Way around chairs,

couches, tables and anything cle that
will present an obstruction but not
Catastrophe. Put blindfokls on all of the
hard-charging horsemen and have them
et down on all fours. A preferably dimit
Ë driver will mount each of the

uive dist
sightless “steeds” and wordlesly direct his
тоше among the hazards (they'll decide
beforehand wha s will be lor
left, right, go and whoa). The swiltest
"Фані" around the course is obviously
ihe winner, but, unless there is plenty of
open arca in your apartment, each. en-
should run the course alone against.
the clock, to avoid complete chaos.

Jt your domicile survives. destruction
during the games, slow the pace down a
bit with Roman Charades. Such solo
bleaux as "Nero fiddling while Rome
burns” and “Antony's funeral oration
can be contrasted with group ellorts such
as the "Rape of the Sabinc Women." As
ап atmospheric addition to your histor
high-jinks, ask your wittiest friend to pla
the role of à. Roman soothsayer casting
bones and telling funny fortunes to any-
one brave enough to inquire into the
future.

АП this delightful nonsense should
be set to live music, if possible. The
ideal instrumentalists—if your local
musicians union can unearth (ет
would be a host of harp, flute, lute and
lyre players, coupled with the conten
porary beat of rock polyrhythms.

FOOD AND DRINK

Then there are the vital viands to con-
sider. Hopefully, you won't be caught i
the same situation as poor Nero and the
unfortunate Heliogabalus—not t0 men-
t Roman gluttons:
lived after them; but their good
h their bodies.
ely that by
good recipes we don't mean such
esoteric foods as roast Maltese cranes,

ighii ues and sautéed ostrich

yy sound fascinating bu
nedible, Certain. delightfu
‚ have been pr

лге close to
Roman recipes, howev
served. They be:

on marathon dining parties. They
rich zest to such festive fare as roast suck-
ling pigs, stuffed cipons and honey-glazed
hams with fig;

one guiding principle for party
giving—summer or winter and попе
Detter has come along in 20 centuries:
mely, to make his guests so comfort-
able and relaxed that they'd be loath to
leave. The idea of the contemporary
cocktail party from six to eight in the
evening or a bullet dinner from six to
ten would have struck the civilized citi-
zens of Rome as barbaric. To them, lei
sure was almost a religion

When guests arrived for the
dinner party, they were offered light
sandals in place of their street foot
wear or they were free to dine with no
footwear at all. They'd set aside their
et garb for a light dinner garment
called a synthesis, Di icularly
long evening of festivity, the synthesis
might be changed for a fresh one as the
hours wore on. Frequently, guests were
given gifts by the host as а sign of his
regard for them. At certain times, the
guests might be offered а bath or a
massage as a relreshing interlude be
tween drinks. Before entering the din-
ing тоот, everyone was given perfumed
water for his hands. In the town houses
of affluent Romans, a servant would
bathe both the guests hands and fect
in perfumed water from melted snow.

The triclinium—a word that meant
Doth the dining room and the furni-
ture on which the guests lounged—was
equipped with three wide couches, U
shaped around the dining table. The
couches, sometimes inlaid with tortoise
shells or embroidered with gold, werc
covered with soft mattresses and fresh
nen. There were silk-covered pillows on
which the guests left elbows rested, so
that they could reach for food and handle
it comfortably. Each couch accommodated
three guests, Crowding, night-club style,
was unthinkable. Cicero was once out
ed at the bad taste of Calpurnius
so, who tried to squeeze four Romans
onto a single couch. To be able to
recline while wasnt merely a
comfort but a distinguished. privilege.
Occasionally, one or two gate crashers
or professional scandalmongers (whom
the guests called their “shadows") might
find their way into the party; but if they

Roman

were allowed to stay, it was only in a
Roman

g position. At onc time,
women, too, were forced to s
the table; but ay the girls g
their rights. they also wei

dine

allowed чо
the easy prone position. At

warmer times of the year, servants with
huge fans provided the air conditioning.
Smoking was unknown; instead, the nos-
trils were Hattered with soft incense, and
garlands of fresh flowers on the walls, as
well as flower petals strewn on the couches,
ollered their relaxing,
grane. АП told, it was
version ol the gentle pleasure people tod:
enjoy at a secluded and beautiful picnic
spot.

In the midst of all this affluent ambi-
ance, it seems odd today that Roman
guests usually took their own napkins to

party. But, upon investigation, it makes
A napkin served not only to
protect the hosts linen on the triclinium
but was also used to carry home the
apophoreta—the leftover goodies that
weren't enjoyed on the spot.

At most Roman parties, it was the
custom to appoint one of the guests аз
the magister bibendi (drinking host).
He determined such things as the size
of the drinks, how they should be dilut-

d and whe
to be ollered. Acting as magister was,
naturally, a favored role; it allowed the
how to attend to his guests’ other
comforts and honored Bacchus in one

a

and to whom toasts were

» the magister was chosen by
rolling dice; but there were some thi
the Roman host never left to chance.
quently, he would go into his kitchen and
supervise the food on the бге. At some
parties, no food reached the triclinium
whose quality hadn't been checked by a
skilled гамет ће pracgusiator. Actual
cooking was in the hands of a chef-slave
whose technical ability was highly valued.
In a gratelul gesture for the fine food
he atc, Mark Antony once presented
his chet with a city of 35,000 inhabit-
ants. Antony's tribute cost him noth-
ing and was a perfect guarantee against
amy possible servant problema dilem-
that no longer bothers hosts today,
since there аге few servants to be ap-
peased at any price.

Roman hosts were extremely zealous
about the quality and freshness of their
food. Only the mushrooms and fruit
whose very scent was a feast were
lowed at а dinner party. Some Rom
homes were equipped with built-in ponds
where fish were kept alive and swimming
until the last moment before di
their final visit with the chef. g at
the table was entrusted to men who had
come by their craft after working о!
ly on models of jointed wood. Whether
the carver faced a goose or а goat, he
operated with the skill of a surgeon.

In the matter of spices, Roman cooks
took their courage in both hands and,
with mortar and pestle, came up with
many magnificent combinations. Cru
ог ground. spices, such as anise or pow-
dered sage, were, fortunately, not bottled

inal.

ed

or pur up in tin boxes, only io become
pathetically impotent once ex posed to the
air. No modern host is expected to grind
his own cinnamon or mustard. But once
the incredibly rich and natural Iragrances
оГ handground anise, cumin or caraway
seeds are inhaled, even the casual chef.
will want to ger his own mortar and
pestle—remembering that a brass or stone
mortar is required for crushing garlic or

"I thought he
seemed depressed!”

anything wet and that a wooden one will
do for dry spices.

Roman cooks seem to have used wine
even more lavishly than Frenchmen do
today. Like the French. Rom:
frequently reduced their wi that is,
cooked it down for а deeper concent
tion of favor. Often, it was mixed with
honey, particularly in the sweetsour
combinations of honey with vinegar or
vinegar and tart wine, One ever-present
ingredient in their kitchens was garum.
ог liquamen. This was a sauce mam
factured from dried and fermented fish,
with an intense salty concentration of
flavor reminiscent of soy sauce with a
dash of anchovy paste. When used, it
took the place of salt.

Although Roman wines were poured
into the most elegant crystal, gold, sil-
ver or carthenware goblets, the wine
almost always mixed with water:
t was cooled with ice or
We can't know what their vinum
tasted. like, but some of it, like certain
Greek wines today, was resinated; some
mixed with honey or herbs. During
Pliny's time, there were nearly 200 va
eries of wine, a lot of which was aged
10 to 20 years, The heady effects of
Roman wines, served mainly after din.
ner, rather than before, were described
splendidly by the poct Horace. “Good
wine,” he said, “made the wise confess
their secret love; brought hope to anx-
ious souls and gave the poor strength
to lift up his horn" "Today, as in
Horace's time, the wines that stand up
10 the intrepid Roman dishes are the
fine dry reds of northern Italy: barolo,
Valpolicella and the genuine chiantis.

The phrase "from soup to nuts” was
paralleled by the Romans’ ab ovo usque
ad mata (пот egg to apples). Actually. оп
their menus. eggs might appear as a first
or a middle course, but the end of their
pples. A huge
bowl of fruit and nuts was their favorite
finale, sometimes supplemented with pas
wy. Much attention was lavished on thc
guslatio (beginning) and the mensa pri-
та (main course). PLAYnoY's Food and
Drink Editor, Thomas Mario, has round-
ed up a roster of Roman recipes to match
the grandeur of the celebration. you've

snow.

planned. In modernizing ancient food
formulas, anachronisms such as suga
apricot jam are not only able but

encouraged,
ROMAN VEGETABLE APPETIZERS

To start their meal, Romans devoured
radishes and olives, both black and
green, often dressed with oil, wine vine
gar and an abundance of freshly ground
pepper. They added
ing; nowadays, we would ше salt or

anchovy paste. Sliced cucumbers were

served the way. The Romans 24

same

PLAYBOY

chopped beets seem to have been а so
phisticated version of our own pickled
beets, supplemented. w ıs, leeks
id coriander. Cold leeks in a modified
French dressing were a prominent favor-
ite. Nero ate prodigious quantities of
leeks not only for their mellow flavor
but because һе was convinced they'd
improve the sonority of his voice as an
orator. He ate them so often, in fact, that
he was eventually nicknamed Porroph
gus, from the Latin porrum,

Teck. As ап appetizer, their prey
simple: l-in. sections of leek, white
part only, are boiled until nearly tender
and then drained; they're cooked until
completely tender in а liquid of 4 parts
water, 2 parts ой and 1 part vinegar
flavored with bay leaf. mustard seed,
peppercorns and salt, and are marinated
in this liquid and chilled overnight,
resh fennel, cut into sixths or eighths,
or fresh mushrooms may be prepared the
same way, with a clove or two of garlic
added to the marinade.

is

COLD ASPARAGUS PUREE
(Makes 1 cups)

10-07. package frozen aspara
2 hard-boiled egy yolks
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion, grated
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 large dove garlic, forced through garlic
press
spoon. prepared m
ispoon dry mustard
1 tablespoon very finely minced cilantro
lable in stores carrying Puerto
ties)
Salt, freshly ground pepper, cayenne
Bread crumbs
Roman asparagus purée, like guaca-
mole, may be served as а cold cocktail dip.
Cook asparagus, following directio
on package. Drain well and cut crosswise

gus

rd

into 14-in-thick slices. Force egy yolks
through a sieve. Put asparagus, gg

yolks, olive oil, onion, 1
lic, both kinds of mustard and cilantro
into well of blender. Blend until smooth.
Remove from blender; add salt and pep-
per to taste and a generous dash cy
enne. If mixture seems too liquid, add
mall amount of bread crumbs to take
up extra liquid. Stir well. Serve ice-cold.

Huge platters of oysters on the half
shell, sometimes served on snow or

mon juice, gar

would frequently help unfurl the party.
Ro
food, too, particularly shrimp, а
following recipe.

s were just as fond of other sca-
in the

COLD GLAZED SPICED SHRIMP
(Eight appetizer portions)

2 Ibs, shrimps, medium size

Sale
teaspoons caraway seeds, pounded in
mortar

spoon cumin, pounded in mortar

14 teaspoon aniseed, pounded in mortar
ive oil
spoons prepared mustard
í teaspoon freshly ground pepper

cup whitewine vinegar
2 tablespoons honey
14 сир apricot jam
х cup thinly sliced scallions, white and
firm part of green

Place shrimps in а pot and cover with
cold water. Add 10 teaspoon salt. Slowly
bring water to a boil; turn off flame and
fet shrimps remain in water 10 minutes.
Reserve 1% cup cooking liquid, discard-
ing balance, Peel and devein shrimps.
Into well of blender, put the reserved
cooking liquid, pounded spices, olive oil,
mustard, peppe
apricot jam. Add 1⁄4 teaspoon salt. Blend
until smooth. In mixing bowl, combine
shrimps, blended ingredients and scallions.
Marinate overnight, Serve very cold, as
appetizer.

vinegar, honey aud

GLAZED HAM WITH FIGS AND APPLES
(Serves 10 to 12)

1 84b. fully cooked, bone-in, smoked

ham
I ID. dried figs, boiling type
4 medium-size Rome Beau
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 cinnamon stick.
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups dry red wine
14 cup hnely minced st

1 cup honey

2 tablespoons instantized flour

14 teaspoon ground cinnamon

14 teaspoon dry mustard

Prepare figs and apples a day befor
the dinner. Soak figs 2 hours in cold
water. Drain. Peel and core apples; cut
and
ar to a boil; reduce flame and simmer
minutes. Add lemon juice. Add apples
and simmer, covered, just until tender.
Remove apples from syrup with slowed

pples

Mots or scallions

imo cighths. Bring 1 quart wate:
sui

spoon. S. ip- Chill apples, covered,
in refri dd figs and. cinnamon
stick to sa p in which apples were
cooked, Simmer, covered, 30 to 40 min-

utes or until tende
figs in syrup and chill in refrigerator.
Next day, cor ле and shallots and
simmer until the wine is reduced to 1
cup. Sirain wine and discard shallots. Pre
heat oven at 325°. Place ham, fat side up,
in roasting pan. Roast 114, hours. In stuce-
‚ combine wine :

well, Stir in flour, cinnamon
until all dry ingre
blended. Simmer
mixture bubbles and is ú
1 Turn heat up to 400°.
Brush [at side of ham generously with
honey mixture. Bake until top is glazed,
ditional honey mixture
ne to complete plazi

mixing
xd mustard
nts are completely
Hame until
ick. Remove

low

over

а from ove

brushing with
from time to

п, drain figs. Discard
greased

While ham is in ov
syrup. Place figs and apples
shallow pan. Place brielly in ove
through. Garnish ham with mou
fruit.

E

10 heat
ds of

ROAST CAPON, CALE'S BRAIN S
(Serves six to eight)

FTING

1 b. capon

I calls brains

1 tablespoon lemon juice

Salt, pepper

Flour

Salad oil

14 cup buckwheat groats

4 cup very finely minced onion

cup very finely minced celery, with

le whole-wheat bread—at
c days old
gs, well beaten

1 teaspoon celery seed

14 teaspoon leaf sage, crushed in mort

1⁄4 teaspoon dried marjoram, crushed in

mortar

2 tablespoons finely minced parsley

Bread crumbs

14 сар pine nuts

8 dates, pitted

114 cups chicken broth, fresh or

1 oz. amontillado

1 teaspoon lemon

Wash calf's brains under cold ru z
water. Cut away membrane. Soak in cold
water in refrigerator several hours. Dra
cook in boiling salted water, to which 1
tablespoon lemon juice has been added
10 to 12 minutes. Drain; chill in relrig-
cator. When cold, cut into. yin, cubes.
Sprinkle with salt and pepper: dip in
flour and sauté in 1⁄4 oil until
browned. Set aside. Cook groats, follo
ing directions on package. Sauté onion
and celery in 14 cup oil until vegetables
аге tender but not brown. Celery тау
remain slightly crisp. Soak bread in cold
water, Drain and squeeze gently to remove
excess water. Chop bread coarsely. Com-
bine groats, bread, sautéed vegetables,
sautécd calls brains, eggs, celery seed,
sage, marjoram and parsley. Season gen-
rously with salt and pepper. If dressing
seems too moist, add a few tablespoons
bread crumbs. Stuff capon with dressing
Sew vent shut or fasten with small skew
ers. Brush cipon with oil and sprinkle
with salt and pepper. Preheat oven at
325°, Roast capon, breast side up, in
shallow pan 3 hours or until very tender
and brown. While capon is roasting, heat
e nuts in shallow pan 10 to 12 minutes
in oven or until brown. Sprinkle
with salt. Cut dates crosswise into quar-
ters. Remove capon from pan. Pour. off
excess fat. Add chicken. broth, amontil-
lado and 1 teaspoon lemon juice and
ss. Simmer
Carve

ROAST SQUAM, HERI SAUCE
(Serves six)

б squabs, 1 Ib. cach
Salad oil
Salt, pepper
1 cup loosely packed fresh spinach

leaves, no stems
114 cups cold chicken broth, fresh or
anned

3 tablespoons instantized flour

2 tablespoons finely minced fresh pars-

ley
1 teaspoon finely chopped chives
1 teaspoon finely minced. fresh
gon or 1⁄4 teaspoon dried таттароп

1⁄4 teaspoon dried summer savory

1 teaspoon lemon juice

Preheat oven at 325°. Heat 2 table-
spoons oil in casserole suitable for top of
stove. Sprinkle squabs with salt and рер
per. Ѕаше in casserole until light brown,
ing when necessary to brown evenly.
Transfer caserole to oven and roast
squabs breast side up, uncovered, 1 hour
ader. Wash spinach well. With
water remaining on leaves, cook in s
pan until spinach is tender. Drain
chop spinach extremely fine or force it

rra-

or until t

through а sieve. Combine chicken broth,
spinach, flour. parsley, chives. ta
and savory. Stir until flour

saucepan, stirring frequently,
Simmer 10 minute:
squabs from casserole. Scrape casserole to
loosen drippings. Add chicken-broth m
d simmer 5 minutes. Add lemon

pass separately at table.

ROAST SUCKLING PIG, ROMAN ST
(Serves eight to ten)

ng pig

E

4 teaspoon отер;
1⁄4 teaspoon leaf thyme
1⁄4 teaspoon rosemary
alt, pepper

ya cup pine nuts

1 cup dry red wine

11 cups cold chicken broth

1⁄4 cup raisins

| teaspoon anchovy

2 tablespoons instan

1 small red apple

14 Cup thinly sliced scallions

The suckling pig may be filled with
bread suling or prune sting for a
more substantial dish; but n
these days, it’s served like spareribs, as
something to be munched for its succu
lent. fla pnes; another meat
or poultry dish usually accompanies it.

Preheat oven at 3507, Brush pig with
oil. Pound oregano, thyme
morta
with salt and. pepper. Fases

же oh

a

or and c

forward and back legs rearward with

“How much foam did you use?!"

skewers. Place a block of wood in mouth
of pig. Place on wire roasting
pan. Roast З to 310 hours or until crisp
and brown. While meat is roasting, place
pine nuts in shallow p
oven about 10 minutes or until light
brown. Sprinkle with salt, Boil wine until
is reduced to 14 cu
cool, add chicken brorh,
paste and flour, sti
completely dissolved, Slowly bring to
boil, stirring constantly until thick
When pig is done, remove wood from
mouth and replace it with apple. Place
pig on a long platter. Remove rack from
pan and drain olf all but 3 tablespoons
í asting pan. Add chicken-broth
mixture and scrape pan to loosen drip-
pings. minutes over top flame.
Pour part of the sauce over pig. Sprinkle
ı pine пш» and scallions. Pass balance
of sauce at table.

ne is

ner 5

MINUTAL OF MEATBALLS, FORK AND FRUIT
(Serves six 1o eight)

2 Ibs. top sirloin or top round of beef

2 Ibs. boneless fresh. pork shoulder or
loin of pork

2 pieces celery

3 mediumsize onions

4 slices stale white bread

2 eggs, slightly beaten

Salt, pepper

3 tablespoons salad oil

>

cloves garlic, very finely minced

2 teaspoons cumin seeds, poanded in
mor

1 teaspoon coriander seeds, pounded
in mor

2 sweet red or green peppers, 1n. dice
j tablespoons flour

1 quart and 1 pint (6 cups) моск or
chicken broth

14 cup honey

1⁄4 cup vinegar

1 cup dry red wine

Lb, can pitied sweet black cherries,

drained

30-02, can apricot halves, drained

Cut celery into Lin. pieces, Slice 2
onions. Place celery and sliced onions in
small saucepan with water to cover. Sim-
mer until tender, about 15 minutes:
d Suak bicad in coll water. Drain
id squeeze gently lo remove excess Wit-
ter. Put beef through meat grinder, using
fine blade, Again put through meat
grinder, with cooked celery, onion and
Dread. Add eggs 2 teaspoons salt and
14 teaspoon pepper. Mix extremely well,
Shape into small balls about %4 in. thick.
Dip bands in cold water to shape meat
easily. Place meatballs in а single layer
in shallow greased pan. Preheat oven at
875°. Bake

20 minutes or until meatballs
have lost raw color and are firm. Cut
pork into Lin. squares about 1⁄ in. thick.
Heat oil in large stewpot or Dutch oven
Sauté pork until it loses raw color. Mince
remaining onion and sprinkle on pork,
together with garlic, cumin, coriander

| sweet peppers. Sauté a few mi
longer. Sprinkle flour over meat, stirring
well.
bowl, combine honey, vinegar and wine
and blend well. Add to pot; simmer over
Hame 1 hour. Add meatballs and
cook V hour longer or until pork is very
tender, Add salt and pepper to taste, Adi
drained fruit, Cook only until fruit is
heated through

"The host who invites friends, Ri 5
and low villa for a magnum opns
like the one we've fashioned should en-
joy the wibutes of his guess |

to come
Ly]

utes

Add stock, stirring well. In mixing

low

sto

243

PLAYBOY

244

A RECLUSE

(continued [rom page 121)
he didn't ask her to complete i

Alter а bit of silence between them,
she said: “Klaus, did vou say you wanted
me out of the house by this evening

“I said by this evening. No later

After another bit of silence between.
them, he said to her: "Aren't you tired of
your wanderings here and there on the
cathe

“Oh, you know. Klaus, how tired I was
of my travels long before 1 сате here."

“Well, then, I would say it’s best io
put an end to them,”

“Could you, do you mean that 1 can
stay on here awhile?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I meant
this evening. alter the street. lamps
have becn turned out, we will go to the
harbor and there, at the harbor, you will
sit yourself on it piece of ice that is being
washed to sea.”

She cricd out a little and staricd to
rise Irom her chair. then sat back down

“Oh, but Klaus. the people of the
town, now that most of them know me,
would wonder about inc.

“Don't let that concern you. If I am
questioned about your disappearance. 1
will say that you suddenly lelt restless
nd decided to continue your travels."

“But why must T go 10 sea on a piece

A piece of ice is where your travels
уу leading you.”
s iı cold in the room
“No, the room is w
An exhausted silence fell berween
and lasted for several minnes,
counted by the clock on the mantel of
the fireplace.

Then she said
is dark as nighttime.”

He said: “The color of the
relevant matter.”

The clock counted off a few more
silent minutes, Then she began to sins
in her hoarse voice, as much like a man's

The ice in the harbor

e is nota

as a woman's, a hymn of the Knowledgist
Church, to which he had once belonged

“You will oblige me by not singing
that hymn of the Knowledyist Church
an in his right senses doesn’t

1 agree with you, Klaus.
An interval of silence. Then, in a
ned voice, she said: "Klaus, let's go
10 the fish market now, before its crowd-
ed, and buy a good trapler for dinner.
Theres nothing you like better than a
taper, and you know how well 1 can
cook one.

“Is it possible you've heard and under-
stood nothing P ve said to you?

“You said that for dinner tonight y
wanted a good trapler.”

“I haven't mentioned a wapler to you
this morning. and as lor your cooking
nything im my kitchen, if you take а
single step toward it, I will strike vou over
the head with this shovel by my chai

ГШ take not a мер toward the kitch-
you'd rather I didn't"
1 am determined you won't.”

“I won't

“There followed another
silence before she spoke.

"Klaus, [think you're right. АП of my
uavels have led me, in a wandering w
10 the ice in the harbor. Oh, 1 know ГЇЇ
feel the cold for a while, but then 1 will
fall asleep and 1 think that it will be
soon, When you've traveled as much as I
have, you reach the end of your travels,
and perhaps it should be place
that’s on the sea. Soon, in a week or two,
the spring sun will glitter on what's left
ol the ice in the harbor. Look at it,
Klaus, through your unboarded windows
and from the sweets, and"

She didn’t say. “Think of me,” for her
travels had taught her, almost from the
very first step, that any appeal to sent
ment is met with either the resentment
that is spoken out or the resentment that
hides behind boarded windows.

en

interval of

THOMAS IN ELYSIUM

(continued from page 100)
made him Ш at case, and he wandered
around among the shelves, not. knowing
which book of all these thousands held
the information he was looking lor.

nally. һе had to go to the desk and ask
the lady.
“Esae me,” he said. She was stamp-

ing cards with a Tittle m pping
n of her wrist, prison semences for

"Yes? She looked up. unfriendly. She
nee

vant to find out something about

t Sebastian, ma'am,” he said.

do you want to find out about

could tell a nonbooklover at a gl
*Y

." he said, sorry he had

Encyclopaedia. Britannica,”
the lady said, "Dn the reference room.
SARS to SORC." She knew her library
the lady.

“Thank you very much, ma He
decided that from on, he would
change his clothes ge and use
Coyne’s t ош the top
ayer of grease from his skin, at least.
Clothilde would like that better, too. No
use being treated like a dog when you
could avoid it.

He went uncertainly into the refer-
ence room. It took him ten minutes to
find the Enevelopacdia Britannica. He
pulled ош SARS i0 SORG and wok it
over to a table and sat down with the
book. SEMURCHIN—SEA-WOLF, SEA-
WRACK—SEBASTIANO. DEL PIOM-
BO. The things that some people fooled
with!

There it was, “SEBASTIAN,
a Christian martyr whose [esti
brated on 20." Just on

now

Tom read rapidly. "After the archers
had left him for dead, a devout woman,
Irene. came by night 10 take his body
away for burial, but finding him still
alive, carried him to her house, where his
wounds were dressed. No sooner had he
wholly recovered than he hastened to
confront the emperor, who ordered him
to be instantly carried. off and beaten to
death with rods"

Twice, for Christ's sake, Tom thought.
Catholies were nuts, But he still didn't
know why Clothilde had said Saint Se.
basan when she had looked
naked in the bathtub.

He read on. "Saint Sebast
ly invoked against ihe pi
young and beautiful soldi is a
rite subject of sacred art, being most
ally represented undraped, and sc

though not mortally wounded
rows.

Tom closed the book thoughtfully
young and beautiful soldier, being most
erally represented undraped. . . ."

ge
vercly
with

new. Clothilde. Wonderful
Loving him without words, but
saving it with her religion, with her
food. her body. everything.

Until today. he һай thought he was
kind of fanny-looking, a snotty kid with
а flat face and a sassy expression, Saint
Sebastian, The next rime he saw those
two beauties. Rudolph and Gretchen. he
could look them straight in the сус. 1
have been compared by am older, experi-
oced woman with Saint Sebastian, a
young and beautiful soldier, For the first
cc he had left home, he was sorry
he wasn't going 10 see his brother and
sister that night,

He got up and put the book away. He
was about wo leave the reference room
when it occurred o him that Clothilde
was à saints me, too. He searched
through the volumes and tok out CAS.
TIR 10 COLE.
iced now, he found what he was
quickly. although it
, but “CLOTILDA, SA

wasn't
га

Гот thought of Clothilde, sweating
over the stove in the Jordache kitchen

xd washing Unde Harold's underwca
saddened, "Daughter of the Bur
king Chilperie, and wile of
king of the Franks.” Peo
mt think of the fume when they
med babic:

He read the rest of the parag
Clotkla didit seem to have done all
that much, converting her husband and
building churches and sull like that,
wd gening into (rouble with her family.
The hook didn't say what entrance re.
quirements she had met to be made a

Clovis,

ph, but

nt.
Tom put the book away to get
home 10 Clothilde. But he stopped at the
dok to say, “Thank yor m.” 10 the
lady. He was conscious of a sweet smell
There was a bowl ol nacisus on the
desk. spears of green. with white lowers.
out of a bed of multicolored pebbles
Then, speaking without thinking,
iid, "Can T rake our a cd. please

The

cage

he

uly looked at him, surprised

“Hive you ever had a cnd anywhere
before?" she asked.

“No, ma'am. Û never had the time to

read before,

The lady gave him a que
pulled our а blank. card and asked him
his na lage and address and print
eir funny backward way on the
card and stamped the dare, She handed
the card io h

“Сап 1 лаке ош a book tight away?”
he asked

“If you want," she said.

He went back to the Encyclopaedia
Britannica and took out SARS to SORI
He wanted to have a good look at that

look but

а

paragraph and ny to memorize it, But
when he stood at the desk лю base ñ
stamped, the Lady shook her head impi
tently, “Put that right back.” she said
Thats not supposed (o leave the reler-
ence room.

There was fried chicken and mashed
potatoes and. applestuce for dinner and
blueberry pie, He and Сюе ate in
the kitchen, not saying much, just doing
justice to the food.

When they had finished and Clothilde
wis clearing off the dishes. he went over
10 her and held her in his

rms and sud,

“Cikla. daughter of the Burgundian
il wife of Clovis, king
1. “WI

where
1 went to
aghier and

wanted to find
name came from.” he said
the library. You're a King's
a king wile

She looked at him a long time, her
ons around his wait, Then she

out

your

isseal

if he

him on the forehead, gratefully,
had brought home a present for her,

Clothilde was lying under the covers.
with hey hair spread on the pillow. She
had turned on the kmp. so
could find his way out without bumpi
i pything. There was the soft. glow
smi

as she touched his cheek, He
md
closed it behind him. The crack of light
under the door disappeared as Clothilde
switched oll the lamp.

He went through the kitchen and out
into the hallway and mounted the dark
меру carelullv. carrying his sweater
There sound from Uncle Harold
ud bedroom. Usually.
shook the house.

of
opened the door without a sound

Elsa's

Tante
there was snoring th
Uncle Harold must. be sleepi

on his

rato.
«А.

side tonight. Nobody had died in
ga. Uncle Harold had lost three pou
drinking the water
Thom:
the аш and ор
room and put on the

climbed the narrow steps to
wed the door to his
ight, Uncle Harold

“So this is love.

245

PLAYBOY

246

was sitting there in striped. pajamas, on
the bed.
Uncle Harold smiled at him peculiar

Four of his
He had

ly. blinking in the light
front upper weth were m

bridge.
Hi. Uncle Harold." Thomas said. He
was conscious that his huir was mussed
he smelled of Clothilde. He
t know what Uncle Harold was doing
there, Tt was the first time he had come

n't it, Tommy?"
Unde Harold said. He was keeping his
voice down.

1s iz” Thomas said. “1 haven't looked
a dock.” He stood near the door,
from Unde Harold. The room was ba
He had few possessions. A book fom the
library lay on the dresser. Riders of the
Purple Sage. The lady at the library Һай
said he would like it, Unde Harold filled
the litte room i strij
making the bed sag in the middle, where
he sat on it. Big fat ass

“It is nearly one o'clock,” Unde Har-
old said. He sprayed because of the miss-
ing teeth, “For a growing boy who has to
get up сапу and do a days work. A
growing boy needs his sleep. Tommy.

“1 didn't realize how late it was”
Thomas said.

“What amusements have you found to
keep а young boy out till one o'clock
the morning, Tommy?"

“1 was just wandering around town."
The bright light," Uncle Harold
id. “The bright lights of Elysium,

s fake and streiched.
He threw his sweater over the one chair
in the room. “I'm sleepy now," he sud
“I better get to bed fast.

"Tommy," Uncle Harold said in Шш
wet whisper, "you have a good home
here, hey?”

“sure.
‘ou eat good here, just like the fami-
ly. hey
“1 eat all right
"Yon have a good hom
er your The “rool”
“wool” through the gap.

“Im not complaining." Thomas kept
s voice low. No sense in waking Tante
Ela and getting her in on th

aw

pod roof
came out

couler-

з а nice clean house.
old persisted. "Everybody. tr
you like a member of the family, You
have your own personal bicycle.
Fm not complaining."

You have a good job. You are paid a
man's wages You are leaning а trade.
There will be unemployment now, mi
lions of men coming home, but for the

always a job. Am I

Thomas said.
ake care of yoursell,” Uncle
Harold said. “E hope so. You are my
Hesh and blood. 1 took you in without a
queson, didn't I, when your father

You were in trouble, Tommy, in
Port Philip, weren't you? And Unde
Harold no questions he and

ШР

little fuss back home,"
iothing serious
ask no questions". Мар
Uncle Harold waved away all thought of
interrogation. His pajamas opened. There
was a view of plump pink rolls of beer-
and-sausage belly over the drawstrings of

mously,

the ma pants. "In return for this,
what do 1 ask? Impossibilities? Gratitude?
No. A litle thin а young boy

should behave himsel properly, that he
should be in bed at a reasonable hour. His
own bed, Tommy.’

Oh. that’s i. Thomas thought
son of a bitch knows. He didn't say
thing.

“This is a clean house, Tommy,” Uncle
Harold said. “The family is respected.
Your aunt is received in the best homes.
You would be surprised if 1 told vou
what my credit is at the bank, 1 have
been approached to тип lor the state
legislature in Columbus on the Republi
сап ticket, even though 1 have not been
born in this country. My two daughters
have Cath 1 challenge any two
young ladies to dress better. They arc
model students. Ask me one day to show
you their report cards, what their teach-
сїз say about them. They go to Sunday
school every Sunday. I drive them myself
Pure young souls, sleeping like angels,
right under this very room, Tommy.
‘I get the picture.” Thomas said. Let
: old idiot get it over with.

“You were not wandering around town
one odak, Tommy.” Unde
Harold said sorrowfully. “I know where
you were [was thirsty. I wanted а bottle
ol beer from the Frigidaire. 1 heard noises.
Tommy, I am ashamed. even ro mention
it, A boy your age. in the same house with
my two daughter

“So what?” Thomas said sulle:
idea of Uncle Harold out
door nauseated him. A ball of vomit rose
in his throat. He tasted it, swallowed it.

“So what? Is that all you have to say,
Tommy? So what?”

“What do you want me to say?" He
would have liked to be able to say that
he loved Clothilde. that it was the best
thing that had ever happened to him in
his whole rotten life. that she loved him,
that if he were older, he would take her
away from Unde Наго clean, god-
damn house, from his respected family,
from his model pale-blonde d:
But. of course, he couldu't s
couldn't say anything, His tongue stran-
gled him.

The
ny-

“I want you 10 sty that you are sorry
for the filthy thing that ignorant, schem-
ing peasant has done to you
Harold. whispered, his eyes shining hotly.
“I want you to promise you will never
touch her again. In this house or any-
where else.

m not promising

" Thomas

L" Uncle Harold said.
с. 1 oam speaking
ble and forgiving
t want t0 make a

а
quieily. like à reason
man, Tommy. 1 do n
scandal. 1 don't want your Aunt Elsa to
know her house has been dirtied. that
her children have been exposed to.
Ach, T cant find the words, Tommy."
"I'm not pro uw." Thomas
said.
OK. You arc promising any.
thing," Unde Harold said. "You don't
have to promise anything. When 1 leave

not

this room, 1 am going down to the room
behind the kitchen. She will promise
plenty, 1 assure you.

That's what you think.” Even to his

own cars, it sounded. hollow, childish.

“That's what I know, Tommy," Uncle
“She will promise any-
trouble. H I fire her,
where will she ро? Back to her drunken
husband in Canada, who's been looking
for her for two vears so he сап beat her
to death?
There're plenty of jobs. She doesn't
ve to go to Canad:
You think so. The authority on inter
1 law," Unde Нағо said. "You
think its as easy as that. You think I
won't go to the police.”

UWhatve the police got to do with
i

“You are a child, Tommy," Uncle
Harold said. “You put it up in between
a married woman's legs like a grown
тап, but you have the mind of a child.
She has corrupted the morals of a minor,
mv. You are the inor Sixteen
years old. That is a crime, Tommy. А
c. This is a civilized country
are protected in this counury.
т if they didn't put her in jail, they
woukl deport her, an undesirable. alien
who corrupts the morals of minors. She
is not а Gtizen, Back ro Canada she
would go. It would be in the papers. Her
husband would be waiting for her. Oh,
yes" Uncle Harold said. "She will prom-
ix." He stood up. “I am sorry for you,
Tommy. It is not your El. It is in your
blood. Your father was a whoremaster. 1
was ashamed to say hello to him in the
street. And your mother. for your inlor
mation, was a bastard. She was niied by
the nuns. Ask her someday who her
father Or even her mother. Get
some sleep. Tommy." He patted him
comfortingly on (he shoulder. “I Jike
you. 1 would like to see you grow up
imo à good man. A credit to the family.
Tam doing what is best for you. Go—get
some sleep.

nation

was.

Uncle Harold padded out of the room,
barefooted, bcery mastodon in the shape
less striped pajamas, all weapons on his
side

Thomas put out the light. He lay face
down on the bed. The tears came, then
huge, racking sobs.

Th
р. to ty to talk to
breakfast. But Uncle
at the dining-room
newspaper.

ood

Cle

us there

table,

morning, Tamm:
looking up briefly. His weth were ba
yat h
Clothilde came in with
ige juice She didn't look
face was dirk and closed, 1
didn't look. Clothilde. "li

cle Harold
is terrible

ping women i
hey have been waiti
this for a hundred years. Peop!
living in cellas. IF I didn't come to this
country when ] was a young man, God
knows where 1 would be now.”

Clothilde cune in with Thomas’ bacon
and eggs. He searched her [ace for a
There was no sign.

When he finished. breakfast, Thoms
stood up. He would have to get back
kuer in the day, when the house w
empty. Uncle Harold looked up from li
paper. “Tell Coyne TH be in ine.
thirty.” he said. "B have to go to the
bank. And tell him 1 promised Mr. Du
cm's саг by noon. washed.

Thomas nodded and went out of the
room ats the to daughters came down, f

nd pale. "My angels,” he heard Un
Harold say as they went into the di
room and kissed him good morni

He had his chance at four o'clock that

iernoou, It was the daughters! dentist
day for their braces and Tante Elsa
always took them, im the second car.

Unde Harold, he knew, was down at the
showroom. Clothilde should be alone.

“TI be back in а
yne. "I got to see somebody.”
Coyne wasn't pleased, but screw him.
Clothilde was wateri
he pedaled up. It was
rainbows sh

the hose. The lawn wasn't а big onc and
жау shadowed by a finden ree, Clothilde
was in à white uniform, Tante Elsa liked
her maids to look like nurses, И was an
advert inlines. You could

olf the floor in my house

Clothilde looked at Thomas once, as
he is bicycle, then. contimed
watering the Lows

~Clothilde
side. 1 have to talk to you

“Pm watering the fawn,” She turned
the nozzle and the spray concentrated
down to a stream, with which she soaked
a bed of petunias along the front of the
house

"Look at me,” he said.

“Aren't you supposed 10 be at work?”
She kept turned away from him.

"Did he come down to vour room last.
night?” Thomas said. “My unde?

"Sar

Thomas said. "come in-

“Did you let him ir

It's his house,” Clothilde said, Her
voice was sull.

“Did you promise him anything?” He

knew he sounded shrill, but he couldn't
help himself.

“What difference does it n
back to work. People will sec us
id vou promise him anything?”
dI wouldn't see you
she said flatly.

"You didn't mean it, though,” Thomas

She fiddled
The wedding +
I. "We are over.
not!” He wanted to grab
- "Get the hell out of

with the
x on her

it
nozzle 2

“No.

we're
her and shake Ii
this house. Get another job. ГЇ move

awav and
"Don't talk nonsense,” she said sharp:
ly. “He told you about my aime.” She

“He will 1
meo and Juliet
cook. Go back

mocked the word.
deporied. We are nor Ri
We ате a schoolboy and
to work.

"Couldn't. you say anyth Y?
s was desperate, He was afraid he
ing то break down and cry, right
there ou. the пош of
Clothilde, like

to

a wild

There is nothing to say. He
man” Clothilde sud. "He

п a man is jealous, you mı
wall, a tree.”
as sid,

jealous.
ght as

“Wha

“He has been trying to get imo m
bed lor two years.” Clothilde said calmly.
He comes down at night when his wile
p and scratches on the door like a

“That fat bastard,” Thomas said. "TH
he there waiting for him the nest time.”
Clothilde said. "He

"No, you won't”
ing to come in the nest time. You
might as well know.”

You're going to let him?”

m a servant," she said, “I lead the
life of a servant. I do not want to lose

is goi

ny job or ge or go back to
c . Forget it." she said. “Alles kaput.
Ti was nice for two weeks. Youre а nice

Vm sorry ] gor vou into trouble.”
Т right, all right," he shouted. “I'm

boy

never going 10 touch another woman
again as long as—
He was too choked to say anythi

more and ran over to his bicycle
rode blindly away, leaving Clot
calmly watering the roses.

Saint Sebastian. well supplied with
rows, hc headed for the garage. The rods
would come later.

Thom: ng the gravy of the
hamburger off his plate with a piece of
bread. when 12, the cop, came
iuto the ten to two and the

er was almost empty, just a couple of
ard finishing

247

PLAYBOY

248

p their lunch, and Elias, the counter-
man, swabbing off the grill.

Kuntz came up to where Thomas was

ting at the counter and said, "Thom
Jordache?”

"Hi. Joe” Thomas said. Kunu

stopped in at the garage a couple of
imes а week to shoot the breeze. He was
always threatening to leave the force,
because the pay was so bad.

“You acknowledge that you аге Thom
as Jordache?” Kuntz said in his cop
voice.

“What's going on, Joe?” Thom

“I asked you a question, son
said, bulging out of his u

"You know my name;
“What's the joke?
"You bener come with me, son,"

Kunt said. "E have a warrant. for your
est.” And he damped Thomas arm
above the elbow. Elias stopped scrubbing
the grill and the guys from the lumber-
yard stopped eating and it was absolute-
ly quiet in the diner.

“L ordered a piece of pie and а cup of
collec," Thomas said. "Take your meat-
hooks olf me, Joe.”

“What's he owe you, Elias?” Kuntz
asked, his fingers tight on Thomas’ arm

“With the coffee and pie or without
the coffee and pie?” Elías said.

“Withou

"Seventy-five c

nts," Elias said.
р, son, and come along quiet,"
Kuntz said. He didn't make more than

20 arrests a ye; gening
mileage out of this one.

“OK, OK." Thomas sid. He put
down 85 cents. “Chris, Joc," he said,

“you're brea

Kimiz w
diner, Pere Sp
sitting

g my arm,"
Iked him quickly out of the
eli, Joe's partner, was
the wheel of the prowl ca
with the motor running.
“Pere.” Thomas said, “w
ıo let go of me?
йин up, kid.” Sp
Kuntz shoved him
nd got in beside hi
started toward town.

1 you tell Joe

nelli said
о the back seat
ıl the prow! car

“The charge is statutory rape," Ser-
amt Horvath said. “There is a sworn
complaint, FI пошу your uncle and he

can get a lawyer for you. Take him away,

nding between Kuntz
hey each had an arm
now. They hustled him off and put him
in the lockup. Thomas looked at his
watch. It was 20 past two.

There was one other prisoner in the
ingle cell of the jail, a ragged, skinny
man of about 50, with a week's growth
d on his face. He was in for
g deer. This was the 23d. time
1 been booked for poaching deer,
he told Th

Harold Jordache paced nervously up
and down the platform. Just tonight the

train had to be Таке. He had heartburn
and he pushed anxiously at his stomach
with his hand. When there was trouble,
the trouble went right to his stomach.

And ever since 2:30 yesterday afiernoon,
when Horvath had called him from the
j 1 been nothing but trouble. He

ept a wink, because Elst had

d all night, in between bouts of tell-
ing him that they were disgraced for life,
that she could never show her fice in
Town ind what a fool he had been
to tak nimal like t into the
ТИП ad to admit it,
he had been an idiot, his h
Family or no family.
when Axel called him fre
he should have said no.

He thought of Thomas down in the
1. talking his head off like a lunatic,

ing cyerything, not showing an
remorse, naming names. Who
could tell what he would say, once he
Started talking like th He knew the
tiule monster bated him. Wh was (o
stop him from tell about the black-
market cation tickets, the faked-up second
hand cars with gearboxes that wouldn't
last for more than 100 miles, the under-
the counter markups oi s to get
around the price control. de valve and
piston jobs on cars that had nothing more
wrong with them than a clogged fuel line?
Even about Clothilde. You let а boy like
that into your house and you beeame his
prisoner. The heartburn stabbed at На
ull dike a knife. Hc began to sweat, even
though it was cold on the platform, with
the wind blowing.

He hoped Axel was bringing plenty of
money along with him

He heard the traii
curve toward the station and stepped
back nervously from the edge of the
platform. In. his stare, he wouldn't: be
surprised if he had a heart attack. and
fell down right where he stood.

The train slowed to a hı nd a few
people got oll and burried away i
the wind. He had a moment of panic.
He didn't see Axel. It would be just like
Axel to leave him alone with the prob-
Axel was an unnatural father, he
written once to either Thomas or
I, all the ume that Thomas had
been in Elysium. Neither had the moth-
er, that skinny hoity-oity whore's daugh-
ter. Or the two other kids. What could
you expect from a mily like that?

Then he saw a big man
man's cap and a mackinaw, limping
slowly toward him on the platform.
y to dress. Harold was glad it
was dark and there were so few people
round. He must have been crazy that
time in Port. Philip when he'd invited
Axcl to come in with him.

“АП right, I'm here,"
ln't shake hands.
Hello, Axel,”

new ci

coming around the

in a work-

Axel said. He

Harold said. "T

was

beginning to worry you wouldn't coi
How much money you bring with you?”
ive thousand dollars,” Axel said.

“1 hope it's enough," Harold said.

“It better be enough," Axel said Batly
“There а He looked old,
Harold thong is limp was
worse than Harold remembered.

They walked together through the sta
tion toward Harold's car.

ТИ you want to see Tommy,” Harold

said, “you'll have to wait tomorrow,
They don't let anybody after six
o'clock.”

UE don't nt to see the son of a

bitch." Axel said. Harold couldn't help
feeling that it was wrong to call your
own child a son of a bitch, even under
the circumstances, but he didn't say

thing.
"You have your dinner,
asked, “Elsa can find somerl

box."
“Lets not waste time,”
“Who do I have 10 pay o

Axel said.

He's one
Your son
Harold
à factory

id aggrievedly. “A gil
m'i good enough for him."

Is he Je Axel asked as they got
into the car.
Wha?” Harold asked, irriaredlv

would be great, that would help a

Jot, if Axel turned out to be a Nazi,

ing else.

Why should he be Jewish?”
"Abraham," Axel
"No. It’s one of the oldest families in

town. They own practically everything.

You'll be lucky if he takes your money.
"Yeah," Axel said. “Luck
Harold backed out of the р

and started toward the Chase hos

was in the good section of town, near the

Jordache house. “I talked to him on the

phone,” Harold said. “I told him you

were coming. He sounded out of his
mind. 1 don't blame him. Irs bad enough
to come home and find one daughter preg

But both of them! And theyre

ns, besides. If it happened to me, 1

wouldn't put that kid of yours in jai

I'd shoot him.

“They c

twi

wholesale

1 get a тше on
baby clothes." Axel laughed. The laugh
ter som e a tin pitcher rattling

st a sink. “Twins. He had a busy
season, didn't he, "Thomas?"

You don't know the bal of i
“He's beat up a doze
since he came here, besides.” The stories
that had reached Harold's ears һай been
exaggerated as they passed along the
town’s chain of gossip. “It’s а wonder he
been in jail before this, Every-
body's scared of him, It’s the most natu
ng

" Har
people

old said.

hasn't

But who suffers? Me. And Els
Axel ignored his brother's sullering

š
a

PLAYBOY

250

and the suffering of his brother's wil
How do they know it was my kid?
The twins told their father." Harold

slowed the car down. He was in no hurry
to confront Abraham Chase, “They've
done it with every boy im town, the

twins, and plenty of the men, too, ever
body knows that; but when it comes to
naming names, naturally, the first name
nybody'd pick would be your Tommy.
‘They're not going to say it was the nice
boy next door or Joe Kuntz, the police-
man, or the boy from Harvard, whose
parents play bridge with the Chases
twice a week. They pick the black sheep.
Those two lite bitches're smart. And
don't think Tommy is making it any
asier for himself, telling the cops he
nows twenty fellows personally who've
1 there with those girls and giving
а Tist of names It just makes everybody
sorer, that's all. It gives Ше whole town a
TH make him pay for
it And me a That's my shop,”
he said automatically. They were passing
the showroom. "Hi be lucky if they
don't put a brick through the window."
You friendly with Abraham?
“I do some business with Mr
Harold. 1. "FP sold h 1
can't say we move in the same circles,
He's on the waiting list for a new Merci
rv. T could sell à hundred cars tomorrow
if I could get delivery. The goddamn

War. You don't know what Гус been
going through for [our scars, just to
keep my head above water, And now.

just when I begin to see a little daylight,
this has to come along;
You don't seem to be doing so bad,"
Axel said mildly.

"You have to keep up appearances.”
One thing was sure, If Axel thought for
a minute that he was going to borrow any
money, he was barking up the wrong tree.
How do 1 know Abraham won't take

my money and the Eid'll go to jail just
ihe ваше?"
“Mr. Chase is a man of. his word.”

Harold suid. He had a sudden horrible
ar that Axel was going to call Mr.
пазе Abraham in his own house, “He's
jot this town in his pocket, The сор
the judge, the mayor, the party organiza-
tion, Tf he tells vou the сае be
dropped, itll be dropped.”

It bener be." Axel said There was a
threat in his voice and Harold remem:
Бегей what a rough boy his brother had
been when they had both been young,
back home in Germany. Axel had g
off to war and һай killed people. He w.
not а civilized man, with that harsh, sick
face and that hatred of everybody and
everything, including his own flesh and
blood. Harold wondered if maybe he
hadn't made a mistake calling his brother
and tcl 10 come 10 Elysium. М:
1 would have been better if he had just
wied to handle it himself. But he had
known it was going to cost money and
hed panicked. The heartburn gripped

me

him ay they drove up 10 the white
house, with big pilus, where the Chase
family lived.

The two men went up the walk to the
front door and. Harold rang the bell. He
took off his har and held it across his
chest, almost as if he were saluting the
flag. Axel kept his cap on

The door opened and a maid stood
ic. Mr, Chase was expecting them, she

"They
young, boy

take millions of. clean limbed
the poacher was chewing on

he talked,
"dlean-limbed. boys and send them olf to
and maim each other w
instruments of destruction and they ca
gratuite themselves and hang their chests
with medals and parade down the main
thoroughfares of the city and they put
me in jail and mark me as an enemy of
society because, every once in a while.
1 drift out into the woodlands of Ame
са and shoot myself a choice buck with
in old 1910 Winchester.” The poacher
originally had come Irom the Ozarks and
he spoke like a country preacher. There
were four bunks in the cell, two on one

side and two on the other. The poacher,
whose name was Dave, was lying m his
bunk and Thomas was lying in the lower

bunk on the other side of the cell. Dave
smelled rather ripe and Thomas pre-
ferred to keep some space between them.
Tt was two days now that they had been

lake and apprec
а permanent audience. Dave had come
down from the Ozarks to work in the
tomobile industry in Detroit and after
15 years of it, had had enough. “I was in
there in the paint department," Dave
id, "im the stink of chemical and the
heat of a furnace, devoting my num
bered days on this cath to spraying
paint on cars for people who didn't
mean a fart in hell io m o ride around
in and the spring came and the leaves
burgconed and the summer came and
the crops were taken in and the autumn
came and cityfolk in funny сару with
hunting licenses and fancy guns were out
in the woods shooting the deer, and I
might just as well have been down in the
blackest pit, chained to a post, for all the
difference the seasons meant lo me. Im

mountain man and | pined away and
one day 1 saw where my path laid
straight before me and I took to the
woods. А man has to be careful with his

numbered da his cath, son. There
is a conspiracy to chain every living
child of man te an iron post a black

ри,
they paint it all the br
rainbow and pull all soris of devilish
tricks 19 make you think that
pit. it isn't an iron post
The president of C

ind yon musm' De fooled because

eral Motors

high in his glorious office, was just as
ich chained, just as deep down in the
pit as me, coughing up violer in the
paint shop." Dave spat tobacco juice into
the rin can on the floor next to his bunk.
"The gob of juice made ical sound.
дайм the side of the can
7I don't ask for much,” Dave said,
just an occasional buck and the smell of
woodsy air in my nostrils. 1 don't blame
nobody for putting me in jail from time
10 time; (агу their profession, just like
hunting is my profession, and 1 dor
begrudge "em the coupla months here
and there I spend behind bars. Some
how. they always seem to cach me just
as the winter monthsre drawing on, so
^s really no hardship. But nothi
say can make me feel like a crim
sir. Pm an American out in th
can forest, livin’ off American deer. They
to make all sors of rules
for those cityloll.
m dubs, that's all right by me. Th
don't apply, they just don't apply
spat again. "There's just one th

want
suluions

g that
makes me a mite forlorn—and that's the
hypocrisy. Why, once, the very judge

that condemned me had eaten venison 1

shot just the week before and

at the di le in his own
se and it was bought with his own
money by his own cook. The hypocrisy is
the canker in the soul of the American
people. Why, just look at your cise, son.
What did vou do? You did what every
body knows he'd do if he got the chance
you were offered a nice bit of juicy tail
nd you took it, At your age, son, the
sre raging, and all the rules in the
book don't make a never-no-mind. 1 bet
that the very judge who is going to put
you away for years of your young life. if
he got the offer from those two little
plump-ased young girls you told me
bout, if that same judge got the oller
and he was û sure nobody
around to sec him, he'd go cnoning
with those plump-ased young, girls like
crazy goat. Like the judge who ate my
venison, Statutory rape.” Dave spar i
disgust. “Ol man's rules. What does
ише uwitching young tail know about
statutory? Из the hypocrisy, son, the
hypocrisy everywhere.

Joe Kuntz appeared at the cell door
and opened it, “Come on out, Jordache,"
Kunz said, Ever since Thomas had toll
the lawyer Uncle Harold had got [o
him that Joe Kuntz had been in th
with the twins, too, Kuniz had not bee
markedly friendly. He was married, wita
three kids.

Axel Jordache was wait 1 Hor-
уай ofice with Uncle Harold and the
lawyer, The lawyer was a worried-look
ng young man with a bad complexion
amd thick glasses. Thomas had never
seen his father looking so bad, not even
the day he hit bim.

He waited for his father to say hello.
but Axel kept quiet, so hc kept quiet, too

“Thomas,” the lawyer said, “I am ha
py to say that everything has bees
nged 10 everybody's satisfaction.
“Yeah,” Horvath said behind the desk.
He didn't sound terribly satisfied.

“You're a free man, Thomas," the law-
yer said.

Thomas looked doubtfully at the five
men in the room. There were no signs of
celebration on any of the faces. "You
mean I can just walk out of this joint
"Thomas asked.
хасу," the lawyer suid

“Let's go,” Axel Jordache said. “I
wasted enough time in this goddamn
town as it is” He turned abruptly and
limped out.

“Thomas had to make himself walk

slowly after his father. He wanted to cut
and r before anybody changed
s mind.
Outside, it was sunny late afternoon.
"Геге were no windows in the cell and
you couldn't tell what the weather was
from in there. Unde Harold walked on
one side of Thomas and his father on
the other. It was another kind of arrest.

They got into Uncle Harold's саг.
Axel sat up in front and Thomas had
the back seat all to himself. He didn't
ask any questions.

^I bought your way out, in case you're

n for

"his father said. His father
Чил tur the seat but talked
straight t the windshield. "Five

thousand dollars to that Shylock for his
pound of flesh, I guess you got the
highest-priced lay in history. I hope it
was worth it.
Thomas wanted to say he was sorry,
that somehow, someday, he'd make it up
to his father. But the words wouldn't
come out.
“Don't think I did it for you," his
m r for Harold here —
ап.
ht and iı
wouldn't spoil my appetite," his father
it for the only member of
ly that's worth a damn—your
brother Rudolph. I'm not going to have
him start out in life with a convict
brother hanging around his neck. But
this is the last time I ever want to see
vou or hear from you. Im taking the
train home now and that's the end of
you and me. Do you get that?”
“I get it," Thon
“You're getting out of town, to
de Harold said to Thomas. His voice
quiv That's the condition Mr.
Chase made and I couldn't agree with
m more. PH take you home and you
pack your things and you don" sleep
another night in my house. Do you get
that, too
“Yeah, yeah,” Thomas said wearil
‘They could have the town. Who needed
There was no more talking. When
Uncle Harold stopped the car at the

ion, his father got out without a
word and limped away, leaving the door
of the car open. Unde Harold had to
reach over and slam it shut.

In the bare room under the roof, there
was a small cardboardisl valise on his
bed. Thomas recognized it. It belonged
to Clothilde. The bed was stripped down
and the mattress was rolled up, as
though Tante Elsa were afraid that he
might sneak in a few minutes sleep on
it. Tante Elsa and the girls were not in
the house. To avoid contamination,
Тате Elsa had taken the girls to the
movies for the afternoon.

‘Thomas threw his things into the bag
quickly. There wasn't much. A few shirts

xd underwear and socks, an extra pair
of shoes and a sweater. He took off the
¢ uniform that he had been arrest
and put on the suit he had been
wearing when he came from Port Philip
and th: just about that.

He looked around the room. The
book from the library, Riders of the
Purple Sage, was lying on a table. They
kept sending him postcards, saying he
was overdue and they were charging him
iwo cents a day. He must owe them a
good ten bucks by now. He threw the
book into the valise. Remember Elysi
Ohio.

He dosed the valise
d into the kitcly

nd went down.
He wanted to

thank Clothilde É she
wasn't in the kitchen.

He went out thiough the hallway. Un-
cle Harold was eating a big piece of
apple the dining room, standing
up. HH ids were trembling as he
picked up the pie. Uncle Harold always

the valise Rut

ate when he was nervous "lf you're
looking for Clothilde,” Unde Harold

said, “save your energy. 1 sent her to the
movies with Tante Elsa and the girls.”

Well, Thomas thought, at least she got
a movie out of me. Опе good thing.

"You got any money?” Uncle Harold

asked. "I don't want you to be picked up
nd go through the whole

He wolfed at his apple pie
e money,” Thomas said. He һай

your key.”

“Thomas took the key out of his pocket
and put it on the table. He had an
impulse to push the rest of the pie in
Uncle Harold's face, but what good
would that do?

They stared at each other. A pice of
pie dribbled down Uncle Harold's chin.

“Kiss Clothilde for me," Thomas said.
and went out the door, carrying Cle.

= walked to the station and bought
520 worth ol transpo

Elysium, Ohio.

ion away [rom

251

PLAYBOY

252

SHARING THE WEALTH (continued from page 127)

nothing. The lower reaches of the of them still white—are relatively well
middle dass, in turn, are convinced — off financially. The country’s policies na
that blacks, Mexican Americans, Puerto — urally respond to the desires of the m:

Ricms, Indians and. poor whites want to
steal their jobs—a conviction that the
power dass cheerfully perpetuates. The
truth of the maner is that, even with
automation, there can still be enough
goo:paying jobs for everyone in this coun-
uy. If all of us were working for decent
wages, there would be a greater demand
lor goods and services, thus creating even
more jobs and increasing the gross mation-
al produc. Full and fair employment
would also mean that taxes traceable to
welfare and all the other hidden costs of
poverty— presently borne most heavily by
middle income whites—would inevitably
go down.

Ас one time, we would have searched
for ways to bring about a direct change
in the course of the camel driver. That
was the situation in the Thirties, when
President Roosevelt initiated such massive
programs as the Works Progress Admin-
istration and the Civilian Conservation
Corps. At that time, most Americans
were poor, white and nonwhite alike;
but most were white, "The union move-
ment was fighting to win gains for its
members, then an underclass. (Now it
feels it has to fight to protect thc cconom-
ic independence it has since achieved.)
Amd here was only и relatively small
upper class trying to [rustrate change. But
today the majority of Americans —mest

jority, and that m
the comfor
motivated to eliminate pov

The forces in control today at the top,
furthermore, are so immense, powerlul
and interlocked that it would be absurd
10 expect dramatic change from them.
The Pe for example, has a hand-
love relationship with the s:
dustrialists who n CtOrs,
d mechanical grape harvest
How can we expect the Defense Depart-
ment to do anything Би! undermine our
battle with the growers? The poor today,
finally, are not only impoverished; most
of them are also members of minorit
races. Thus, as a class, we a ally as
well as economically alienated from the
mainstream,

Despite this alien however, and
despite the magnitude of the forces op-
the poor have tremendou:
potential economic power, as unlikely as
that may seem. That power can derive
from two facts of life: First, even though
our numbers are much smaller than they
in the Thirties, we are still a sizable
group--some 20,000,000. Perhaps even
more important, we have a strong sense
of uus tation; the poor always
identify with one another more than do
the rich. What instruments can we use

y—having joined
s—is no longer
y

e in-

“Which channel are we watching? Man, we're
watching all the channels!”

to win this
effective
Americans realize that the
rights revolution of the latc
carly Sixties effectively began with Di.
Martin Luther King’s successful bus boy-
cott in Montgomery, Alabama. This tool
is being perfected, for blacks, by the
Reverend Jesse Jackson in Chicago, Our
ionwide gr cout is hurting
e agriculture so much that the
are eventually going to have to
deal with us, no matter how hard the
power class tries to weaken the boycott’s
ellectiveness.

Another powerful tool is the strike.
Auacking the unions is fashic
day, but the labor movement, for
faults, is one of the few institutions in
the country that 1 see even trying to
teach down to us. The universities, tl
to some student organizations, and the
churches, thanks to a few radical groups,
are the only other institutions making

power? Perhaps the most

echnique is the boycott. Most
bla

k civil
s and

own

real attempt to alleviate our plight. With
their help, we farmworkers arè now
uying to build our own union, a new

kind of union that will actively include
people rather than exclude them. А man
is a man and needs ization even
when—in fact, especially when—a ma-
chine displaces him. The poor are also
beginning to experiment with coope
tives of all kinds and with their own
credit unions—that is, with the creation
of ош own institutions, the prohts trom
which can go to us rather than to the
wealthy. And, at least in the Southwest, we
ane locking at ways to give the [armwork-
crs plots of land they сап call their own,
because we know that power always comes
with landownership.

We need greater control of important
noneconomic institutions, too. We have
very little to say, for example, about the
attitude of our churches to economic and
political problems. We are looking for
Ways to get the church involved in the
struggle, to make it relevant to our
needs. The poor also need contol of
their schools and medical facilities and
defenses; but these 1
diary, i
for developing strictly economic. power.
Economic power has to precede political
power. Gandhi understood. this when, in
0. he and his followers resolved to.
defy the British government's salt monop-
oly by making their own salt from the
sea; this boycott was one of the crucial
steps in the Indian fight for independ-
ence. We, the poor of the United St
have not yet hit upon the spe
around which we can bring
boycotting and su
bear. But we will.

‘The poor are badly prep:
pate in the political arena
tions of us, such as the America
have never had more than tok

dvances are

my opinion, to the need

repre-

sentation in Federal, state, county or city
government. Migratory farmworkers are
almost always disenfranchised by voter-
registration residency requirements
nority immigrants face long w
nship papers

rier of Interacy tests, And even if they
Чу expensive for
many of the poor to vote. A farmworker
putting in long hours simply can't айога
to take half or all of a weekday off to
travel to the polls.

In a society that truly desired full
participation, all I&carolds and con-
vies would be given the franchise: the
whole practice of voter registration would
be scrapped: immigrants would ашо-
matically be given a citizenship cer
cate at the end of one year if their record
clean, whether or not they were liter-
h or in their own language;
ns would last up to 72 hours and
ad Sundays.

ate in Engl

elec
would include Saturdays a

These are some of the simpler things
that could be done to increase participa-
tion, But they aren't being done and
they won't be done unless the poor can
change the political status quo. Our vote
simply doesn't matter that much today.
Once we give it away, we lose it because
we can't control the men we сес. We
help elect liberals and then they pass civil
rights bills that defuse our boycotts and
strikes, taking the steam out of our pro-
test but leaving the basic problems of
injustice and inequality unsolved. Or,
worse, we elect a candidate who says he
will represent us and then discover that
he has sold out to some special interest.

1 propose two reforms that would go а
long way toward a cure. First, the whole
system of campaign financing should
s easy for a poor man as for a
ге to put his case belore the
people. Second, the various minority
groups—as well as such pockets of poor
whites as the. Appalachians, who make
up a distinct economic subculture—
should be given a proportionate number
of seats in evi
them. Black people should 1
the House of Rep
п the S
California, where ten percent of the pop-
ulation is Mexican Ameri
in the state assembly should be set a
for us; there is now only one Mexican
American assemblyman. This sime pro-
cedure should be followed all the way
down the line, though the county level
down to the school and water districts.
In each сазе, the electorate. would be
allowed 10 vote lor they
pleased—even if he weren't of the same
ice as the majority of yoters—but the
epresentative would dearly he am advo-
ie of their needs. Though this system
may seem alien to many Americans, some-
thing like it alveady works in the cities,

governing body affecting
vc 43 or 44

seats

һа 10 or 11 seats

whomever

where tickets are often drawn up to
rellect the racial balance of the commu-
nity. And the idea of special represen-
tation for minority political groups is
common in foreign countries. Once the
minority group or the economic subcul-
ture is completely assimilated, of course,
the need lor special representation. will
wither away.

"These are the kinds of reforms we will
work for once we have an economic base
established; they certainly aren't going to
come about as long as we remain power-
less. But we will remain powerless until
we help ourselves. I know that there are
men of good conscience in the affluent
society who are trying to help. Many of
them are middleclass people who re
member the Depression, or unionists
who wear scars of the baule to liberate
workingmen. They are like а large army
of guerrillas within the establishment.
We are depending on them to hear our
cry, to respect our picket lines and to
support our grape boycott, the Reverend
bernathy’s Poor Peoples Са
nd the Reverend Jesse Jackson's
Operation Breadbasket. And we hope
that they will understand how crucial
that the vote become truly universal. As
long as democracy exists mainly
atchword in politicians speeches, thc
hopes for real democracy will be mocked.

In the final analysis, however, it
doesn't really matter what the political
system. is: ultimately, the results are the
same, whether you have a general, a
king, a dictator or a civilian president

running the country. We don't need per-
| systems; we need perfect

Ш you don't participate
ing, you just don't count.
Until the chance for political participa-
tion is there, we who are poor will con
ue to attack the solt part of the Americ
system—its economic structure, We will
build power through boycotts, strikes,
new unions—whatever techniques we
can develop. These attacks on the status
quo will come not because we hate but
because we know Ате!
a humane society for all of its citivens—
and that if it does not, there will be
chaos.

But it must be understood that once
we have substantial economic power—
1 power that follows in
work will not be done.
then move on to effect even
more fundamental changes in this society.
‘The quality of compassion seems to have
vanished from the American spirit. The
power class and the middle class haven't
done anything that one can truly be
proud of, aside from building machines
how people can

а сап construct

and rockets. Its amazi
get so excited about а rocket to the
moon and not give a damn about smog,
oil leaks, the devastation of the environ-
ment with pesticides, hunger, discas
When the poor share some of the power
that the affluent now monopolize, we
will give а damn.

"Gloria and I march to the beat of different

drummers . . . except in the sack, of course.

253

PLAYBOY

254

CHARMED (continued from page 141)

need; ic, reviving a sense of manhood
n the American male who (1) was ruined
by his mother or (2) whose mother didn't
love him. Check one. Anyway, the road
to social success involved mixing drinks,
collecting high-fidelity equipment and
chasing girls, the latter to be undertaken
in a sports car. Which is why, when I
was living in Berkeley in 1951, many a
aturday night 1 would pick up a date
1 my Austin-Healey and head for San
Francisco.

There are many ways to prove you're а
man, and shifting your own gears is опе
of them. At the end of an evening of
peanut shells on the floor and beer in a

mug (this was before we had progressed
to seeing Goodbye, Columbus and eating

ne for the ritu:

Chinese food), it was

The ritual was to park with a girl on
aly Peak Drive, overlooking the Uni-

versity of California. The girls weren't
too interested in necking and sometimes
1 wasn't, either, but you had to try;
otherwise, you wouldn't have anything
to lie to your roommate about later. Be-
sides, you can get away with morc in a
sports car. For example, il you turned ир
mo the hills, instead of toward. home,
^d the girl asked you why you were
driving up а mountain, you could stare
straight ahead, downshilt and answer,
"Because it’s there." Once you reached
the top, of course, you had the ticklish
problem of what to do with the hand
brake and the gearshift lever that sepa-
rated the seats. I suppose the British
figured that if you could afford the up-
keep on an Austin-Healey or а Jag, you
could also atford ап aparunent, (By the
way, there is no truth to the rumor that
British cars back then came with a repair
manual by lan Fleming; but earlier
models did carry an instructional kit by

T. S. Eliot. I understand Ч after read-
ing it, you still didn't know how to
the car, but being stranded didn't

much. Some drivers even re-
ported losing interest in the girl as well.)

So much for the past. Detroit kept
making bigger and bigger V8 engines,
E thunder from the kids in Califor-
nia, and 1 got more and more depressed
having to chew the dust of 15-year-old
women driving Dodge station wagons.
One day, I was talking to a guy from
Ford and 1 mentioned that Га like
to tescdrive а 289 Cobra. We drove out
to Venice, С: pulled up
brown-paper-wrapped building labeled

BY AN Carroll Shelby, so the
legend goes had come to Californi
while road-testing a Cobra prototype i
Texas and—realizing that his country
could regain the flag in international
racing through a merger of back-yard
creative hot-rodding and the resources of
Detroit he'd imported a 1954 AC Bı
tol from England, pulled the en

stuffed in a modified Ford V8. The guys
in Detroit said that it was a shotgun
wedding, but ned out (o be a
marriage made in heaven. Shelby's facto-
ту was very small, but there was a sense
of esprit de corps, with a lot of young
guys working in sleeveless T-shirts—the
1 of muscle-bound kids who lean over
your car while you're stopped for a red
light in Los Angeles and whisper, “Bitch-
in’, bitchii

The 289 Cobra was narrow hipped,
with a live rear axle; it was an individ-
ual's сат. Of the
ing 1961 and 1965, most were sokl to
guys who mixed their own body paint
md installed aircraft clocks. Hard-faced
types in greasy Levis and tooled-leather
belts with turquoise stones imbedded
them would come by on Saturday
hang around the factory, looking for tips
on how Shelby could pack so many po-
nics i lt became а real
Ameri stic to continually
reach for your upper limit. Shelby’s en-
thusiasm was contagious and the Cobra
was oll to the races—w won
around the world. Shelby, in fact, used
10 road-test his cars right in front of the
factory, to the consternation of the Los
cles Police Department. To keep up
their image, the cops began using faster
сату with V8 engines, so you might say
Shelby was good for business,

So there 1 sat in a sports car that
didn't do 0 to 60 in 18 seconds—bur
morc like 7. Before letting out the c
for a spin around town, the late Ken
Miles, one of motor
great drivers, gave me some advice on
how to drive the 289. He said, "Point it

nd punch it!" I took his advice to
t and spent the afternoon running
round L. A, feding my face musdes
recede from the g forces as I went
through the gears.

About that time, Corvettes with bigger
engines were coming onto the scene and,
theoretically, they were supposed to
threaten the Cobra. They had fierce-
looking hood scoops and a medallion de-
picting cross purposes. The Ford people
led them Brand X and their main
customers were high school dropouts
h enlarged right feet—the kind of
children who want as much power as
posible for their buck.

One day, | was to have lunch with
Pete Brock. He is one of the leading
utomotive designers in California, a
man who has reduced the complexity of
Detroit to the simplicity of 20th Century
needs He came tooling up in a new
Shelby-Mustang with heavy-duty suspen-
sion and a modified 289 engine. While
the pit crew swapped pads on his disk
brakes and repaired his car, we threw
him onto the table, changed his socks
and fed him intravenously. Brock, who
had designed the Daytona Cobr

nounced to me the building of the ul-
timate wcapon the 427 Cobra. Amid
such questions as "Has man gone too
2" he mentioned that its fully inde-
pendent suspension had been worked
out on a computer and that the car
probably had about 500 horses, but Shel-
by couldn't advertise the fact, because
the Government would figure he knew
something the guys at Cape Kennedy
didn't, Shelby is the only manufacturer
who delivers more than he claims, which
is the biggest threat to advertising that 1
can imagine.

A few days later, 1 went back to try a
427. Ken Miles took me out and demon-
strated on a nearby airport runway that
the 427 could accelerate from 0 to 100 in
eight seconds. Then we went from 100
back to 0 in 1315 scconds—thanks to
lliqrinch disk brakes. We also made а
couple of passes at 150 mph; we cor
nered with no noticeable body sway and
1 discovered that the car will corner
faster than the passengers can stand, be-
cause of the onset of mause;
discovered that we were passing jets tak
ig off from an adjacent runway. When
1 remarked to Ken that the car w
quick, he said, "Its adequate," and pio:
ceeded back to the garage. The Cobra,

open, with the wind in your face and the
roar of the engine in your ears, reminds
you of flying before it became

automat:
ed. I can hear the critics now. "Why do
you need to drive a car that powerful”
Well how else are you going to get
sexual satisfaction? T bought the 427
from Shelby on the spot and gave him a
check, using my driver's license for iden
tification. We both realized that that
might be the last time either of us would
sec the document.

The only accessory that comes with a
Cobra is a highway-patrol car in back of
you—way back. T's not optional equip-
ment. But in California, the furz aren't
sporting enough to chase you. Instead,
they'll radio ahead to the next car and
зау, “I have a snake under surveillance,”
And then about five miles down the
road, they zonk you with the light and
one approaches your car while the other
one stays in the cruiser, looking at s
papers, 1 always thought he was studying
for the police exam. As you sit ther
watching your accelerometer plunge back
to zero gravity, here comes the Cossack
in the helmet with a chin strap and
cagle on it (live, if possible) and a
multid ppered jacket and a
gun belt with a lot of bullets i

with a Japanese ballpoint clipped ro one
side. Cops always say the same 0
when you've been driving а snake.
you know how fast you were going?" I
would always answer, "No, T was busy in
the engine room." Then they would say.
“Pump your brakes. The brake pedal
doesn’t come up high enough," And I
would say, “I didn't buy this car to stop,

“My New Years resolution is to stop cheating on my husband,
so if you plan on anything youd better hurry up.”

255

PLAYBOY

256

I bought it to go. Besides, you can
stop it by using the hood as an air br

After several months of this treatment,
1 became slightly paranoid. Every time 1
w a Dodge following me, Id stop lor
veterans in ciosswalks and yield to dogs:
lroad tracks. I'd stop
id turn the engine off and get out and
look both ways for Indians. The cops
would sit in back of me and laugh, The
worst was when the Dodge would come
abreast and d sce that it was only a
civilian in a black car with a long anten-
na, and what Md thought was the outline
of a red light in the rear window was
his kid with a round head

Having a 1954 body, my Cobra had no
door locks—which made it pretty fair
game for thieves. Aud one day, sure
enough, it disappeared. A few days Liter,
1 got the word fom John McCaf. of
m that there was an
able in Pordand. Hc
“Don't give my name. 1 have rel
1 Detroit.” So T went up 10 Port-
land, dropped by the Ford agency and
was. Shelby made only 25 of
these babies. They had oil coolers and
pop-riveted hood scoops. The battery was
of the navigator. The dash
ciltemperacure gauge and a
r that went to 180 mph. The
tach was red lined at 8000 rpms. There
was a switch that activated an auxili
fuel pump and another for a differential
oil cooler, It also had a (gallon gas ta
imd a suck to measure fuel, beatuse there
was no pas gauge. А roll bar was included
as standard equipment. The exhaust was
right out where you could see and hear it
Many an unsuspecting girl would barn
her legs on those headers before the year
was out. The engine had over 600 horsc-
power.

I bought the car and pointed it toward
Los Angeles. АП 1 can remember of the
wip is that the acceleration kept slam-
ıg Me into the back of the bucket seat
and the Castrol fumes that came up
through the steering column made me
slightly euphoric. И was when I headed
d New Orleans for a real road test
T discovered anyone whe sees an SC.
Cobra in his rearview mirror automati
cally moves over to let it pass You don't
need the horn. The horn is attached to
the direct signal, which you need
when tur because if you extend
your arm, youll get lift. In fact, the
has so much torque that when you put
your foot into it, you a ly tum

Shelby's racing t
SC Cobra av
added.

to the т
І drove all night with the top down
and hit my first red 1

Street the following mon
jumped onto the hood and wrote in the
dust on my forehead, "V
After a couple of days of slow driving in
the French Quarter, I discovered that the.
heat from my Cobra's transistorized igni-
tion was melting the crepe on my shoes,
so I took the car in to be looked at,

ash this са

requesting that they also put in an
AM/FM radio with headphone jacks.
Anybody who secs you driving a Cobra

with headphones on thinks (har you're
receiving takeolf instructions. from the
control tower at the local airport. It's also
дайм the law to we
you can't h
cak attack by the Red Chinese

After a few more days of city driv

the plugs in the car were loading up. so
I decided to blow them out by driving
back to Los Angeles. As Í lelt the moss
of Louisiana and hit east Texas, 1 no-
tcl I was losing oil pressure, I stuck
the dipstick into the radio—where all
the ой was being Шоп found I
was а quart low. Fortunately, ГА stored a
couple of quarts of Kendall in the trunk.
A few minutes later, 1 roared into Beau
mont, Texas, and happened to notice a
used-car lot. The dealer must have been
smoking something. because he thought
he was in Los Angeles. He had another
Cobra on the lot and he way standing in
front in an orange blazer, velling, “Blow
the horn! We buy by car." Accelerating
out of town, I was doing abour 90 when
I downshifted into third, stomped on it
» inadvertent: half. doughnut.
id before, the car had torque.
19 miles Later, doing 1
"d an explosion and thought that
some frustrated small-town cop had de
Med (O use me as а moving target.
Then I realized that Fd blown my right
rear ire, J got out and tried to jack up
the car, but there no jacking
points because the body was all alumi
num. So 1 called Dante Cardone at Co-
bra public relations and he said, "Why
don't you call a guy from the auto dub
and one he gets under the car, looking
for the jack points, you drive it up on
js chest?” I said, “It’s a rear tive.” And
he said, “You
somebody on the other line who's ha
trouble with the California Highway P;
trol.” 1 protested, "Why don't you make
him wait” He answered, "I can't, it's
Shelby!” E finally changed the t
using a Japanese electric jack. The d
thing didn't work too well, but it did
have а radio in it,

Back on the road, 1 did another 3
miles in 17 minutes and heard a second
explosion. It was the left-rear tire. When
1 got under the car, 1 found that both
tires, because of their width, bad worn
through the wall by rubbing against the
chasis. Now, the nearest town was 90
miles away. 1 decided to drive on the rim
at five miles per hour. Ford sedans are
passing me and Pm shaking my fist out
the window at them and yelling, "Your
trips wouldn't be possible if guys like me
didn't take drives ike this to develop
total performance.” Four hows later, 1
came to а gas station—one with the
Sinclair dinosaur in front—a symbol of
the cemiemporary approach in cast T
as. I bought two Cadillac tires from the

were

1 have to hold on, I've got

"E

attendant a ched them to go onto
my rear rims. They held for about 900
miles— just long enough for me to hit a
Tourinch snowfall. J bought two more
ires and decided to keep going with th
top down, even though the car sat so low
that every time a truck would pays me.
its prop wash would hit my windshield
nd freee. Г began steering with m
ht hand and scraping oll the wind
shield with my left, using а Gillette
echmatic razor.

oing through New Mexico, some jok-
er im a Maserati passed me. Then he
downshifted, backed off his pipes and
passed me I hate guys who do
that. 105 an obvious attempt to cmh
rass you in front of the other trathe. 1
want to point out here that he was the
po and that, like
driver, 1 was acting responsibly
not driving in a d.
we had this little race and were Ilagged
down by the Arizona Highway Patrol,
which used a device called Vascar to get
а fix on speeders. If you want to know
how we were going, the Maserati
looked swift but the Cobra was a blur.

The day I got buck to L. A., 1 parked
the car and it was stolen exactly one
hour later. 1 immediately went down to
Merz and rented a Shelby Mustang—
which is now called the Cobra. Two
weeks later, the SC was abandoned by а
guy who was Liter arrested for stealing a
De Tomaso Mangusta. There was a note
on my windshield that read, “thanks for
giving me my stat in the business.

1 neglected to mention salcty features.
Wall, my Cobia had seat belts, complete
with a strap that goes over your throat.
‘The new Mustang Mach 1, on the other
hand. has a foam-rubber dashboard, a
recessed steering wheel and a windshield
п cubes. The c
never really hit anything it

icken out on the way. Recently,
in Washington, a Senare subcomminee
held a hearing оп car safery and Henry
Ford arrived in a Lincoln limousine
without fastening his seat belt. Ralph
Nader sud (har meant in case of an
ecidemt, Ford was ready to go down
with the ship. Several Senators began
discussing smog conirol. The Ford attor-
neys contended (hat putting ап anti
pollution device on the Cobra would һе
like making а man run in the Olympics
with it deviated septum. One of the attor-
neys went on to comment, “Surely, this
rule doesn't apply to the Cobra?” And the
Senator replied, “The rules of the S

apply to reptile

Ive been a sit
Tor fi total driving time
of just over two m sa matter of
fact, I'm overdue for an appointment to
Mantel is working on it from n
to five every day and | like to take
advantage of visiting hours.

cateni

made of Knox gelat
would.

years—and

POINTS OF REBELLION

all the wonders of nature being ruined,
they ask, “Whar natural law gives the
establishment the r to ruin the riv-
ers, the lakes. the oceans, the beaches and
even the air?" And if one tells them that
the important thing is making money
nd increasing the G.N. P., they tur
away in disgust

Their protest is not only against what
the establishment is doing to the earth
but against the callous attitude of those
who daim the God-given right to wreak
that damage on the nation without rect
fying the wrong.

There have always been grievances
and youth has been the a;
then, is today different? Why does dis-
sent loom so ominously?

At the consumer-credit level and at the
level of housing. the deceptive practices
of the exablishment have multiplied, Be
yond that is the factor of communica-
tion, which, in the field of consumer
credit, implicites more and more people
who. no mauer how poor, with all their
bei nt the merchandise on display

sw

Bevond all that is another, morc basic
reason. Political action today is mos
«псы, lor the € con-

blishment and the re-
sult js a form of political bankruptcy

А letter то me Brom an American. GI
in Vietnam written in carly 1969 states

trolled by the est

(continued from page 161)

that bald truth: “Somewhere in our his
tory—though not intentionally —we slow-
ly moved from a government of the
people to a government of a chosen few
that either by birth. family tradition
social standing, a minority. possessing
all the wealth and power now in tum
control the destiny of mankind.”
This GI ends by saying, “You see, Mr.
Douglas, the greatest cause of alienation
is that my generation has no one to tum
to." And he adds, “With all the hatred
d violence that exist throughout. the
world. it is time that someone, regardless
of personal risk. must stand up and
represent the feelings. the hopes, (he
dreams and desires of the hundreds of
thousands of Americans who died,
dying and will die in search of truth
This young man, result of his
experiences in the crucible of Viemam
the riots at home. has decided
10 cuter politics and гип for office as
spokesman for the poor and underprivi
leged of our natio
Political action that will recast the
balance will take years, Meanwhile, an
overwhelming sense of futility possesses
the younger generation, How can any
ded reforms or changes or
reversals be achieved? There is, in the
end, a feeling that the individual is caught
in a pot of glue and is utterly helpless.

or

pressing, ne

The auth is that bureaucracy
now runs the country, irrespective of the
party in power. The deci
sagebrush or mesquite trees in order 10
increase the production of nd
make a cattle baron richer is that of a
faceless person in some Federal agency
Those who prefer horned owls or coyotes
do not even have a chance то be heard.
How ме fight an entrenched
farm lobby or an entrenched highway
lobby? How does one get even a thin
slice of the farm benefits, which go 10 the
rich, into the lunch boxes of the poor?
How does one give HEW and its st
counterparts a humane approach
rob the bureaucrats of a desire to dis
criminate against an illegitimate child or
10 conduct midnight raids without the
is needed before even

vast

ion to spray

Ж

docs

warra
home miy be emer
Most of the ques

poor ma
«bv the police?
ions are out of re;
of any remedy for the average person. The
uu

ch

s that а vast restructuring of our so

ciety is needed if remedies are to become
c person. Wi
ood will that holds

available to tlic aver hout

estrnetring, th
her will be slowly dissipated
sense of futility that per

It is that
meates the present series of protests and

dissents, Where there is a sense of [util
ity and it persists, there is violence; and

that is where we arc today.

IMPORTED RARE SCOTCH

257

PLAYBOY

“Why, Mr. Bernstein, you didnt remember to kiss me.”

PASTAS FUTURE (continued from page 216)

wildly on a pier. A fish that no amount
of beating kills, a fish onc first and only
wants to still.

Betore tong, of course, we will learn to
still our minds artificially.

Certain vestigial chemical rea
company our persistent sense of di
and insecurity. They were useful when
we lived in а relatively unprotected state.
Anxiety, palpitations, adre
these reactions ате unnecessary, They live
on uselessly, crippling people. We shall
Jean to cool them out. Our chemistry
will be made appropriate once ag:
Meanwhile, we find ourselves invent
ag games that promise to call forth our
vestigial reactions, as if naturally. We
must hope that our games will be able to
expend them, to contain them,

I outside chemicals could cli
guilt and fear—leave us pleased with our
purposelessness—they'd have a huge and
welcome effect. But the
ich that was dear to u
bout ourselves that could never be
exhausted. Patience, which we took per
verse pleasure in trying. A connoisscurship
of our own symptoms. A certainty that
every credit has its debt, every debt its
стай; that the piper must be paid.

Still, the easiest thing to change about
yourself is your name, You remain the
same. You simply have a new name. You
сай, diange jour nose tou, OW, of
course, if you don't like your nose. Like
the new name, the new nose із yours—an
appendage to the big immutable mind-
body you.

Your cyeglasses are not су you
But your 20:20 vison when wearing
them, that is you. Are contact lenses
more you than eyeglasses?

Suppose we could change many im-
porcine things about ourselves. Should

Mc

ty

will we keep t
Say you are Mi
a hook nose. And then you are Dawn
Thursday with a ski jump nose; but still
s, squat legs, frequent
flu, poor memory, destructive temper;
still lethargic, nervous, defeatist. Say that.
chemicals, electrodes, cosmetological op-

erations, transplants, cyborg techniques
can ellect any changes you like. What,
then, is the difference between a graft

nd you? Between a graft and your
clothes? Between your clothes and you?
What is a body but this п, this
mb, this sense? What integer of per-
sonality will remain immune to our con
trol? What remains immutable when we
play even with the consciousness that
orders our improvement?

When Dawn Thursday is finished and
formed and ready to meet the world,
where will Miriam Rabinowitz be? And

what will she, faultless, now worry about?
What will 10,000,000 teenagers worry
about, when they have perfect complex-
ions, flower-sweet breath? The sense of
blessedness that only "popularity" could
formerly win?

Without the necessity of imperfection,
our entire makeups will be no more
inalienable than our names. We will be
able to redesign ourselves.

No one will have а fate. No one will
be constrained by inevitabilities he does
not impart to himself. A person's every
aspect will become an appendage. But to
what? What happens when everything
—even the mind that is stipulating the

rangement—becomes an appendage?
ill be more and more difficult to
k of us. We may
ign ourselves, in fact, with others in

imply with one's deformities but with
anything. Say Dawn Thursday can play
with her looks, her mood—her character.
What, then, is fundamental to her? Only
her experience.

Alongside what is changed through her
will or experimentation, there must be
something constant to which things hap-
pen. But Dawn will participate in. fewer
and fewer of her experiences. They will
not be encounters, interactions subject
her influence, Other people will mam
facture most of the experiences that oc
сиру her waking time.

Dawn's power over her experiences

be primarily the power of veto. She
won't be able to do anything much
about them, execpt to tune them out.

Will that power be the sole meaning
of her privacy? What kind of privacy
can we have without a fund of uniquely
personal experience (o savor and pro-
tect? We may fecl as transparent as glass,
and as brittle.

Think of all the uses we once found
for privacy. When the world was out to
prove us foolish or inept, we could point
inward and say, “Here is our dignity;
here it doesn't hurt.”

Official infringements of privacy may
be arrested. The people may yet retain the
power to roll back Orwellian invasions
—sophisticued surveillance and eaves-
dropping techniques, computerized dos
sicrs. Nonetheless, one of the main effects
of our bewilderment—the plethora of
options, the scarcity of “good” options—
will be to lave us without any sense of
privacy.

When chromosomes can be doctored,
when simple decompression treatments
during pregn
up of a child
make for us to work at cha
itelligence or talent?

We have fect of clay. Generations to
come will have feet of iron, How may we
hope to stack up against those new men?

With the passage of years, they will sur-
pass each other helter-skelter, leave fore-
bears in the dust like hairy beasts.

Once, we might have dared to trade
borched and hasded lives for immor
ity. But immortality will be no bargain if
it cannot last a generation. Warhol pre
dicted that in the future everyone would
be world-famous for 15 minutes. Will
anything we do make any difference
when it can be forgotten in the twin-
Kling of an eye? When our work is not
long important to anyone, how will we
pretend it is still important to ourselves?

We never coveted immortality for its
flattery, but as а way of growing, sure
that the meaning of our deeds would
stay fixed and untouched, Sure that no
one could meddle with our measure
when we were gone and could defend
ourselves no more. How many homers
would the Babe have racked up had he
been swinging at a jack-rabbit ball? What
supermen would we have been, given ac-
cess to our chromosomes?

Baca to choose an incipient charac-
teristic of our time that would dilate,
come more fully to characterize the fu-
ture, one might choose a term favored by
the Church fathers: incuria sui, or "lack
of care of self.” Not exactly a disregard
for oneself, and certainly nothing like
selflessness, but a failure to engage
sionately with how one's soul is turi
out. A certain incuriosity about oncsclf,
though not yet free [rom agitation. The
condition lated to sloth,
or "inquiet idleness.” And deemed the
opposite of peace, of the “peace which
paseth understanding.”

a: Why shouldn't I stay high all my
life?

в: That would be too conclusive.
Too impermissible an escape from
reality.

A: Whose reality? Why is straight
more real than high? I'm crazy
when I'm straight.

1: Turning on is counterproductive.
It makes you not want to do any-
thing.

А: Who needs what I might produce?
I'm traveling around, keeping my eye
open. Souking up the scene. What's
so a priori heavy about doing some-
thing?

в: But stay away at least from freak
drugs that pummel and twist your
mind, turn you into somcone else,

A: T must experience whatever's psy-
dhotic in me. Psychosis cam be vw
able. Drugs are only a catalyst. They
don't introduce ideas or feelings.

There's an answer for every argument,
an argument for every answer, Accusa
tions—ol madness, of deadness—fly across
empty space, from one planet of presump-
tion to another. The question—"Why not
slay high?"—will arise more and more, in

259

PLAYBOY

260

ever widerzranging circles. The ensuing
debate will form a context for all our
plans.

То dopers, it seems no one can make
a adequate case for leaving one's head
untampered with, Yet, they confront
the prospect of perpetual intoxication
freighted with ambivalence. Bur when
the question seems to meet no resistance
—why, then, maybe a lifelong stone
would be suspiciously advisable. Why
not? Have we been bullied into modera-
tion by engendered fears?

How will we deny ourselves pleasures
when only another pleasure might in-
duce us to do so? What secondary or
tertiary pleasure—one that arrives as a
release, after self-imposed abstention—
will compete with potions that directly
mance the pleasure centers of the hu-
man nervous system?

Where will we find thought to deny
ourselves? Where if not from denial it-
shall see a kind of self-indulgence
Hy restricted to the few who had
every privilege and no “constructive”
ideas, and to some who had nothing, not
even hope. We shall see that indulgence
on a massive scale.

Thus far, it may be said, the problen

has been technological. The chemicals
themselves have fallen short.
"Every lust wants eternity," Nietzsche
wrote. “Deep, deep eternity.” The naru-
ral drugs, those that had been widely
used (even worshiped) in pre-Christi
eras, appeared,
against the use
idleness flowered.

He could not get high as he remem-
bered getting once; nodded off, grew
logy and wasted, difficult to rouse. Final-
ly. gratification became fleeting, elusive.
After a days first rush, he found himself
ble to count upon a quarter hour's
buzz. Turning on wasn't the dilficulty;
that was easy enough, The dilliculty was
getting off.

Can ir be very long before science,
investigating how humans come to feel
athesizes more deeply gratifying
compounds? Gratification will become re-
liable and instantaneous, Even more
rming, it won't need to be temporary.
And ye, by definition, gratificati
must be temporary. Otherwise, it e
nates the need for itself. А lust desires its
own perpe to be explored and
pampered, дей but mot satisñed.
Every lust becomes incoherent once it
has its eternity.

‘The more so as his

good, s

Ac you cam get high whenever you like,
and even stay stoned for the duration,
then you are completely accountable for
whatever miseries you feel. Grown accus-
оте to regarding misery as a state of
chemical imbalance, you are at a loss to
correct it nonchemically,

Dolphins and laboratory monkeys adore
nothing so much as а well-placed elec

trode. It is also well known U rats will
ignore sex, food and water to pound the
bar that zaps them waves of pleasurable
excitation. Pound until they collapse of
exhaustion, expire upon bloodied paws.
When pharmacology becomes a gourmet
cooking of the mind, when brain elec
trodes can be located and chinged with
exquisite precision, shall many of us take
pass on them?
When men cin
of selicontainment—become, in effect,
closed-circuit pleasure — systems—there
will be no need to come to terms with
one’s intellect. nor with anything out-
side. Why even develop the ability to
observe, when every sensation that ac
companies observation can be extracted
through artifice?

When one can be assured of grati
fication, sell-mastery will be unnecess;
as deodorant. There will be no seus
striving. Nothing worth winning.

Frederick Jackson Turner postulated
that in the 19th Century, our Western
fronticr acted as а safety valve for social
nd economic dissension k East. Shall
we herald drugs as the safety valve of
our century?

When we begin to run over each other
in the outside world, goes the argumen
we can turn inward, and there find re-
lief. Yet the metaphor suggests that some
kind of freedom lies yonder through the
valve. The hunkies who covered-wagoned
to Colorado ended up as miners at Tel-
luride amd Silver City.

We n find clues watching where
long-term heads come out, but not many
We may feel unable to trust in their
reports. Our words will have lost а
isi ll common definition
п one who's socked hii
for 40 or 50 years leans back
murs, "Groovy, how will we decide
whether he's talking about something
groovy enough to turn our heads, о
about. something so groovy we could give
our lives for it?

Once we knew we would have to ovi

come a certain amount of disappoint-
long the way. Our abi

ment ity to bear
that disappointment. was constantly. in
doubt, but never so much in doubt that
it could not be resourcefully proven.
There was work to be done. A call for
pluck, or grit. We knew as much as we
Could take. When we could take no
more, we made ourselves stupid.

When too much is present (o us, we
must be stupefied a bit to restore our
balance. Previously, we used compulsive
activity, imaginary sights, dreams of re-
venge, as antidotes to secret pain. Our
new antidotes will be more dependable.

Perhaps, then, in the future, the trag-
edies of sullering—Lear’s or Willy Lo
man's—will seem completely avoidable.
‘They may strike us as anachronistic leg-
ends of men who lacked the right tool
—the right upper, or down

outer—at the e. Men who
missed ili

Will suffering come tc mean discom-
fort? A simple state of mind, no longer
possibly educating or uplifting: no pur
gatory along the way то higher sanity?
An annoyance, merely ло be avoided?
Like flutter in the stereo, overcool
conditioning. Too many milligrams, too
many volts.

If you knew discomfort to be correct-
able, and if you still felt discomfort
the adjustment were made, the pill
would you be sure you were ins:
Resolute misery will be too heady for
future generations. It would demand of
them thar they knew how to distinguish
the joyful and the miserable
selves. They will plug imo jov. It will
have no honesty, for it won't need to be
honest about anything. ‘Their jay won't
contrast with the trials that made ours a
relief and a home-coming

Men once valued suiferi more

ways than we can now imagine. It pro-
vided no concrete lessons, of course, nor
any instruction in how suffering was to
be borne, but a kind of knowledge, to be
sure.
Penitence and remorse once found
their answer, or their issue, in suffering.
We could foresee a time when somethin
like repentance might overwhelm an
when we'd be forced to take hold of ош
selves, in order to change. Or when deep
change would burst upon us, effortlessly.
meday the ground might fall away
from beneath our suffering. We could
ау—зотеопе could say—when we had
sulfered enough. ‘There would De some
way of knowing.

But who, when suffering means dis
comfort, can tell us when we have felt
discomfort enough? Enough, that is, to
balance our guilts and debts, Will our
remorse then be infinite? Who would
tell us, say, that we had felt the blahs
enough? What kind of forgiveness is
there for discomfort?

Who will be left to detect our suf.
to ensure that we get some benefit
from it? Who will demonstrate that it
t didn't merely sue
ceed itself, like boredom, from one m
ute to the nest? Suffering will have no
tragedy.

The Stoic felt that men could
survive without protection s
future; more precisely, against expecta-
tions about the future. They called the
proper state of mind ataraxia, Dt was
somber and dispassionate, "still as light
on the water." It held no brief for the
future, As if it weren't isell a way of
receiving the future, of trying to. possess
it in advance, before it happened, As if
e of mind could bend time to their
if time were itself only a state of
mind. When we produce isi
test tube won't that be a pa

not
thc

Criminals nave always showed us what
we don't dare, often what we don't dare
even contemplate,
Our outlaws were outlaws, typically,
ause there was no other way for them
to ensure that they wouldn't be abused.
balance, they traded into as many
їз as had been traded from the
When they were caught, only the de-
ranged made bones about whether th
crimes had really been crimes.

The criminals of the future may be
like Ch

th his.
nd logic. Because the neighbor was
ng too much noise. Because the hus-
led once 100 often to ju
idle. Because someone else had
the intriguing car. They'd find it easy to
зау, as Stai her did when
he'd gone on his ram] Alw;
ed to be a criminal, just not this big a
one.”

Fo the extent that criminals fall into
crime because of their revolutionary poli-
tics, there will be no agreement about
what should count as law. What counts
as criminal to onc class will seem virtu-
ous to another.

We will be able to invoke names like
“justice” and "duty" only in the name of
some particular idea of justice and duty,
not in the name of every such idea.
Justice, duty and the like will be so
many epithets that a class uses to defend
изен.

S sic suq atê елаз qatin m
e period of its greatest creative Mour-
We can foresee merely its greatest
л. Only the poorest art can flow

ishing
nostalgi
from nostal

The future will be a time of miniatur-
I triumphs. ОГ artists who
aim at nothing beyond the persuasion of
our indolence—wlio needn't aim at more
10 win a title to beauty.

We believe toi our duties to art.
are discharged not in the works them-
selves but in our attitudes toward them,
in how we feel they should be "experi
эсе.” Yet our immediate experience of
the work no longer counts for anythin
We are left at the mercy of our opinions.
We cannot voie them with any con-
fidence, nor even hold them stationary.
Interpretation is disallowed

“IUs boring,” one says of a Warhol

piece. But one ha valid response
until one can mect the predictable reply,
Well. that’s just the рой...”
One can always be told that a fakable
or reproduceable effect, a drip or a
shout, is supposed to be fakable or repro-
duceable. No one cares to argue that
these qualities are wrong or bad. We
don't want to convince anyone who is
not aheady convinced: we don't care
about them cnough.

No artist can be une

no

sin for very

long whether or not he is good: whether
he is good simply by his own lazy no-
tions of good or bad—whether the self
that asks such questions is overexacting
Nor can he find out by testing his work
upon a modern audience, Its response is
more confused and fearful than his own,
may even rely on his.
When art depends on effects, when a
mate response requires interpreta-
ticn—when the interpretation gives the
work its legitimacy and not vice versa—
then the appreciation of art becomes a

nd of politics. Indeed, the methods of

ion begin to resemble in the
1 the methods of poli
ists may become as irrelevant as pol

Those who command attention, from
whatever pulpit, will be talking to the
people about how they should conduct
es without falling into confusion.
The swaying power politicians once
lis passing into the hands of circus
sters, spokesmen not elected but “hap-
pened.” like Topsy. Their ancestors
Johny Caron and Tim Leary. More
people have spent more time watching
and listening to Johnny Carson than to
any hum

Dealing with or filibustering on sub-
jects of immediate peril, politicians speak
perfunctorily, if at all, about the quality
of people's lives. False statistics and
strained che

Circusmasters may rise and fade, linger
or be forgotten. But during their time of
influence, however brief, they will carry
enormous weight. Their fatuous presump-
tions and remarks will direct millions of

Just to stay in competition,
will be forced to become impresarios.
Their votes and programs won't count
much for or against them, Everyone will
be so muddled, and so past ca

Only presentation will determine the

Can I help it if Pm just crazy about venison?"

є. Showmans
h no hope left for

auention
ven the r;

they rec
licals, w

meaningful change, will turn to "drama
tizing” or "exposing" To performing
theatrical acts upon their constituencies.

For a long while, we've nor expected
politicians 10 know how to solve our
problems. We've not even expected them
to enlist the people who might. But soon
they will no longer have the cloudicst
picture of what the problems were.
As it grows increasingly difficult to find
a private nook for our insanities, they
will have to become more public. Since
ity cannot bear (O be scen in
public, we will compensate by acknowl-
edging them Jess. We will have to turn

our eyes from them, an avoidance that is
the root of all insanity.
Our politicians, in their explanation of

Vietnam, have become the first to ve
ture a public insanity. The first to be
even judiciously insane. But if they aim
only at working an effect on people, then
they must know those on whom they are
elect. Slight prospect.
y men, and their ignorance
1 terrible price.

‘Through our parents’ youth, through
part of our own, America seemed every-
one's hope. Now her blindness, her glut-
tony and her failures of compassion have
begun turning her into the most de
spised nation on earth.

Her empire of influence will be
shrunk by the third world. We will come
to feel isolated, furtive and nightbound
The violence that we have done а
hundred nations will be regurgitated for
1.
ike sense to us someday that
we can be defended by a missile network
that doesn't work, against missiles that
don't exist, for reasons that are not made
clear. It will have to make sense, what-
ever the risks. For we will be unable to
tolerate its senselessness.

working their
‘They are bu
ve

261

scarers. It requires a ce
courage not to move to another perch but
to sit on patiently and, if possible, read
a book, during these preliminary skir-
mishes. With inordi ience and by
remaining absolutely motionless, it is
possible to reverse the roles, so that the
iter in time acquires the. courage to
alight beside vou and take your order
The traveler does well to remember,
when such a happy conclusion is achieved,
that most Russian menus are pure fan
tasy, and that such delicacies as baked
hazel grouse or sturgeon roasted in silver
paper, although optimistically i
cluded in the choice of fare, have long
ceased to be cooked in the kitchen. In
point of fact, most restaurant. food is as
stodgy and unexciting as those who coi
sume it.

In Lening у
the cultural hurly-burly, to stop shullling
up and down enormous staircases at the
Hermitage museum. On my last evening
before leaving Leningrad, I i
a stranger who joined me at the dinner
table how he had spent his day. Had he,
perhaps, swum in the open-air swimming
pool, taken the trip to the university,
visited the grave of Chekhov or walked
through the Kirov Central Park of Cul-
ture and Rest located on Yelagin Island?
He regretted that he had done none of
these things. He had spent his time at
а childien's hospital, Пс was, I discov-
ered, a very great expert in the field of
п tumors, who came to Russia often
to lecture to students and confer with
colleagues and sometimes to operate
himself. He thought the Russians were
ahead in certain fields of medicine, cspe-
ly geriatrics and child care. He м:
not so enthusiastic about their nursing.
1 was embarrassed at ha
this sop! ted and distinguished fel-
low for a mere tourist like myself. 1 was
reminded of a luncheon party in Austra-
a when 1 had brashly inquired of my
neighbor what he did. "I am," he told
me, "tlie Governor. General."

"Naturally," I assured him,

PLAYBOY

am

His Excellency was not in the mood to

permit a phased withdrawal. "Come off

it,” he told me, and 1 did.

n, my companion, per-

ig my embarrassment and de-
termined to dispel it, volunteered. the
information that he was the son of the
Lue Robert Benchley. He then encour-
aged a discussion of his father's career
and provided a delightful account of
Benchley's achievement as a parent. Не
was, he affirmed, the very best father a
boy could have, He had not particularly
wished his son to become a doctor, but
once the boy had decided, did all hc

262 could to help him. We drank a toast to

THE MYSTERIOUS EAST continued from page 1

02)
Benchley before we parted, and T was
surprised weeks later to receive a letter
from my new friend, apologizing for hav-
ing misled me. His mame was not and
never had been Benchley. He couldn't
explain the reason he had claimed such a
distinguished lineage and begged forgive
ness. If it was any comfort to me, he

wrote, he still was, or believed himself to
be, а brain surgeon.
In Bukhara, the hotel was abominable

and full of East Germans, Nevertheless,
1 enjoyed myself. Except for a ruined
mosque attributed to Genghis Khan,
which 1 declined to inspect, it appeared
that nothing was expected of the tourist.
save a visit to an institute devoted to
research on karakul sheep. Believing it
barely possible that J might prove to be
their 1,000,000th visitor, and thus enti-
ded to receive а karakul overcoat on the
house, I accepted the invitation, climbed
onto the bus and found myself acquiring
during the ensuing three hours, and en-
tirely against my will, a great deal of
absolutely useless knowledge about the
habits and adventures of these unfortu.
nare ruminants, whose average life span
is 12 years, at which age their teeth drop
out, their last lamb is removed. unborn
and they become mutton shashlik. They
demand a sparse diet of dried scrub and
journey on hoof 20 kilometers every Чау
in order to get enough of the stull. 1
tried to work out how far they covered
in a lifetime, failed and dozed off, wak-
ing only to hear the lecturer insisting
that they drank nothing but brackish
water. There was, na r at any
me the slightest suggestion of gift sam
ples, and T shall continue to wear my
all-purpose reversible mackimiosh and
count myself fortunate that 1 was not
born a shepherd boy, or a research work-
er, or even a karakul sheep itself on the
windy, desolate Russian steppes. 1 was
wrong, however, in believing that the
knowledge 1 acquired that alternoon was
useless, as readers of this page will now
have discovered for themselves.

I must have been about ten when I
first saw a film called Shanghai Express.
Tt was the start of my resolve to one day
make the journey myself, following in
the footsteps of Marlene Dietrich, Anna
May Wong, Clive Brook and Warner
Oland. 1 resolved very little in childhood
besides this and nothing at all in youth
and middle age. In one sense, therefore,
you might say 1 am now fulfille

Irkutsk iw located in Siberia and I
reckoned that if I caught the Tr
rian Express and traveled on
barovsk, I would have done enough for
my childhood vow. Ideally, 1 suppose, I
should have boarded the train at Moscow,
but I had heard alarming reports that
made me cautious. The food ran aut, the

compartments were dirty and drunkards
with balalaikas made sleep imposible.
“Those who had made the journey lately
and to whom J talked, all agreed on onc
thing, however: There was no better way
to get to know your Russian, The only
trouble was that I wasn't at all sure 1
wanted to get to know him; and even so,
might there not be such a thing as know-
ing him too well and for too long?

We left Tashkent just after nine к.м.
and landed in Irkutsk at eight the next
morning, having spent about four hours
in the air and the rest of the time
putting our watches forward, Ht was win-
ter in Siberia and the sun shone warmly.
1 felt self-conscious, dressed for a blizzard
in the arctic wasteland. Irkutsk is a pleas-
nt place, even sophisticated by Russian
standards. There are good restaurants serv-
ing delicious Siberian dumplings.

While there, 1 was encouraged to see

performance of The Waltz King and
encouraged to leave almost immediately.
The oyal box contained, on the night of

cosmoi

auts, who watched impassively а
performance that would have disgraced
n amateur lightopera company almost
anywhere else in the world,

The Trans-Siberian Express, when it
steamed into Irkutsk and steamed out
gain with me on board, was quite the
most unremarkable train I ever rode.
The carriages were mo whit different
from the regulation wagons its one can
travel on in Europe, only a great deal
older and shabbicr. In my compartm
there were four bunks, a small table w
a lamp, a strip of carpet (which was
vacuumed three times a day by a large,
gloomy lady who also fulfilled the duty
of guard) and a retired California frui
farmer, who ceaselessly turned the pages
of a Japanese travel brochure. He cither
couldn't read, 1 decided, or didn't want to.

He was not the most lively traveling
companion I have ever encountered; but
fter a time, 1 became attached to him
nd did my best to allay some of his
anxieties, the chief of which was that his
ticket had not been returned to him since
he boarded the train at Moscow and that
he was missing his passport. He believed
Russia to be a dangerous land for [o
eigners and was convinced that we were
under constant surveillance by the secret
police. He also had a presentiment that
he would not be allowed to leave at the
cnd of his trip. I pooh-poohed his fears,
scoffed at his qualms, bought champagne
for us both and was a good deal more
surprised than he when, some days later,
before boarding the steamer for Japan,

rested at the dockside and driven
police van. In point of fact, they
did allow him to sail with us eventually,
having held the boat two hours to try to
discover why he had taken so many pic-
tures of me stepping in and out of our

he wa:
off in

compartment at various wayside stations.
ied his film, just to
fc side. “They questioned
me about you.” he told me later, "asked.
me what movies you'd been in, but I was
so nervous I couldn't remember. Do you
think they thought you were a spy as

be on the

well?
“Possibly,” 1 told him, in my best
Warner Oland voice. “Or they might

have thought I was a member of the
embassy stall in love with a Chinese prow
ttute and determined to smuggle her
out ol the country.”
In the morning, we

ached Nakhodka

ter the contretemps D have just
ed for Japan. The sea was
calm. As night fell the fishing.

boats put on their lights to lure the
sardines and the moon rose over the
Inland Sea. 1 was not sorry to be leaving
Russia. 1 felt I should have b
1 had no idea what 1 expected to find
jı Japan. A young bank executive 1 had
met on board offered me a lift from
Yokohama to Tokyo. 1 climbed in be-
tween him and a senior colleague, who
had come down to welcome him and
whom 1 naturally imagined would be
prepared 10 point out the sights to us
both. 1 have never put my trust in bank
Magers belore and was foolish to hace
done so on this occasion. Neither of
them drew breath nor looked out of the
window at the strange landscape through
which we pascal. They talked shop.

Twas thankful when we arrived at To-
kyo. A beautiful Hilton hotel, standard-
seal over the lavatory,
ce, shoe-cleaning fa-
excitement, 1 lis-
tened to the Armed Forces Network,
leafed through the excursion. brochures
and decided to take à trip to Nikko.

In the lobby next mori
№ 7:15. he hadn't a
icd to force my way into а
limousine. with two American ladies. T
kuew there was a deadline for the train.
1 was bundled out. When my own bus
arrived, it was full. There was à scramble
to get to the station, Alter that, it was
just a question of following the flag. Our
own guide carried a small blue one, We
followed it up the platlorm into the train
and, at Nikko, out of the train, into the
bus, By now, we have badges pinned on
that read SUNRISE TOURS. At
ies, the groups proliferate, Everyone

зоот.

а daze of

the

iy ticketed — SWIS HOTELIERS, HONDA DEAL-
киз, TOKYO TRAPS, U. S. ARMED FORCES
MASTER. Japanese school child
labels round their necks.

The temple cuvings
one secs of them, whi

av-

wear

re prettv—what
h isn't

much.
There is a celebrated carved ca. When
the sculptor had finished f; him,
they an off his arms. Goodness, how we
tourists cujoy torture, We are constantly

ing ofl our shoes and Eam constantly

shionii

is

wondering if I shall get mine back on in
time, It takes me longer than most to tie
my shoelaces. I am back at school, the
lost child in the linc, beset by anxiety,
walking with the teacher. Shall 1 try
walking with the guide? Where is he?
Have Í lost the blue flag? We are given
minute cups of sake, but it is the iemple
dancing that really tests us, This dance
particularly popular, the guide informs
us, but with whom he doesn't say. I have
never seen such hideous women cavoit-
ing with such disinterest. We are then
fed in droves at the tourist hotel and
afterward, taken on a bus ride. Forty
hairpin bends, three waterfalls and а
joke from the guide about the brakes.
Oh, well, it’s over at last.

Back in the hotel that evening, I met
Mr. Jones. Hf. like me. you are an actor
and sit around conspicuously in hotel
foyers. sooner or later you are sure 10 be
accosted by strangers anxious 10 add your
name to their ow ory filing
system. I told Mr. Jones my name.
though he purported 10 be already f:
iar with it. and fell in glecfully with his
suggestion that he should pay for dinne:
We adjourned to a smart bistro, Wester
style, and munched Kobe steaks. a great
local specialty. The cattle, so Mr. Jones
informed me, are fed beer and subjected
10 а daily mi while still on the hoof.
My Kobe steak was delicious and the m
was only slightly marred by Mr. Joe Di
Maggio coming over from the next table

ng courteously whether 1 was
п, an actor who has be
ny years. I was able to re-
assure him, but my host realized the effort
it had cost m
Tomorrow, perhaps,” he suggested.
jou would care to eat Japanese style
"E really can't" I toll him, “impose on
you for another meal, unless, of cow
you insist. What time and where?”
next evening. he picked me up
once more in the hotel lounge and
transported me to 1 ‚ where h
had ordered д Japanese meal. Accomp:
nied by a. Japanese lady about to marry
his general manager and the lucky fellow
himself, we were ushered into a private
dining room furnished with low table
rush matting and cushions, 1 had, much
against my will. already removed. my
shoes, remarking that in my country,
rush matting stands up to shoe leather.
The great need when traveling in J
is bor clasticsided boots
wool—to save face and toen
When I was much younger and toured
the English provinces, 1 was accustomed
to living in Ded-sitting rooms. The front
parlor and principal bedroom suite
the houses would be occupied Dy
vaudeville artists. T was a straight
myself and. in those days, was not so
prone to resent not having the best of
everything. After all. the vaudeville chaps
paid more entitled to superior
accommoda was a sort of

the

here! You play at all tables.’

263

PLAYBOY

264

rough justice in the pl the
Happo En, I was cert Jones
was paying top prices and couldn't help

wondering whether there weren't. better
rooms and, later on, whether there wasn't
better food.

The evening got off to a bad start
when the Japanese lady who was to serve
the

ppeared with а back rest for
sit up as straight as the next
s disappointed, too, at the age
of the waiticses. Í had expected young,
nubile maidens, bur our personal stall

meal a
Tow

looked as if they had stepped from a
geriatric performance of The Mikado.
During the meal, there way а moment of

contreremps when Mr. Jones drew my
attention to the faci that I was eating
seaweed. Mistakenly believing ihar he
was reprimanding me for a breach of
etiquette and that seaweed, like parsley,
should be left on the phate, E spit it out,
only to find my fellow guests continuing
10 masticue theirs with enjoyment.

We finished the evening in ight
dub; the hostesses drank orange juice
and persuaded us to buy them cuddly
оуу. H's a time-honored routine, older
than temple dancing: the hard drink,
the soft touch, Tt was very late when 1
got back to the hotel. Under my door, I
la note. "Dear Guest: We have
vised by the "Tokyo Metropolitan
c that a student demonstration is
sited do take place tomorrow within
this area en rome 00 апе Diet Duildi:
The time may be from six rar. onward
The police department will provide ade-
quate protection, but in the unlikely event
' few demonstrators filter through
the police cordon, we would advise guests
not to autagonize them, take photo-
graphs, or in any case leave the hotel
premises while the demonstration is in
he Managem!

lor
been

progress. 7

When six pat. came, [ decided to
reconnoiter. There was no sign of any
excitement, In the foyer, I met Mr. Bag.

shot, am professor at the unive
sity. who had been rehearsing his students
in The Glass Menagene since April, but
still found them rather wooden. He was
a patient, gentle Jellow who had some
years before gone native, but now once
n lived Western style. His companion

skel me whether I would like to

look at the riots. "Not much,
Not at all, in fact. What's the
Ave they demonstrati inst Nixon:

“Nothing of the kind,” said Mr. B.
shot. “They are demonstrat inst
the government, which is still holding
their fellow students from the last three
demonstrations.

They took me to the Shinjuku district
for dinner. I have never seen so many
pinball machines. The Japanese play
with ball bearings. There was at one
time а surplus of ball bearings and local
ingenuity put them te good use. Baskets

and baskets full of ball bearings were fed
into the machines, recovered, coumed
and exchanged for cigarenes—an cono-
my of iis own, We ate mushrooms ob-
tainable only at t пе ol the year
and in small quantities, alas. Afterward
we visited the “gay” bars. The Japanese
tolerate homosexuality, live with it and,
judging from the noise and liughter,
learn to love it.

But of all the people I met in Tokyo,
none explained Japan bener со me than
a fellow countryman called Seyman. It
was he who drove me (o Hakone, who
insisted we take the river steamer across
the lake and the cable car up the mow
tains, who showed me Fujiyama, "To sce
the sacred mounttin on a dear day,”
he told me, “is a very great privilege.”
Nothing becomes Japan better than Fuji-
yama. T was prepared to dislike the Japi-
nese. 1 am nervous of a people’ who
laugh so frequently, 1 hadn't realized
that in their own country they have so
much to laugh at Here, their gaiety is
infectious. The British are preoccupied,
the Russians are serene, the Japanese are
happy.

Sunday in the Ginza in Tokyo is
quite unlike Sunday anywhere ele in
the world. The enormous deparment.
stores decorated. with tropical-fish. tanks

and huge chrysanthemums, their roof
gardens taken over by the children, their
restaurants and cur galleries teeming
with humanity. 1 leapt on and off the
esaknon. priced the kimonos, fingered

the jade, coveted the cameras and
bought the toys. “What is the secietz" E
asked Mr. Seyman. “What makes Japan
tick? Is it a bomb?"
don't think so," he told me. “I
don't think it will all blow up. There is
very little discontentinent. You see, they
never dismiss anyone and they are care-
ful to sce that no one loses face. И you
run a business here, you must leave stall
relations in their hands. The Americ
md the British simply don't undersi
ihe system, Each year, when (hey hir
new employees in the spring, they take
on an obligation to them. Is something
the Western capitalistic system has Lailed
to do. Here, they consider us bad cm-
ployers of labor. We drive people and
when they break down, we sack them.
Here, the emphasis is on keeping ever
one and everything in running order.

I could: have stayed a long time in
"Tokyo, but it was time to be thinking of
home. On the way, 1 stopped olf
at Hong Kong. From my hotel bedroom
there, 1 looked out on a cricket ground.
ren in shorts were runni
rde while a. British р;
hurled Rugby footballs at them.
it, you clowns," he yelled. "Con
fellows, don't slack."

‘The Hong Ko Times
announcements of die Royal Нону Kon;
Jockey Club's forthcoming race meeting

ina

md outlined the compli
tions for those wishing to be admitted to
the enclosures. The biggest and boldest
type of all reserves the right of admis:
The enclosure within the enclosure is
what the British are always seeking for
themselves. Elsewhere, electric signs ad-
g the hanky-tonks proliferate and
most of the city, in faci, seems to be
nothing but an enormous brothel. The
streets are [ull of stalls marketing shoddy
goods, and the children never go to bed
is long as there is still a customer. With
a hour da out unions or com-
pulsory education, everybody manages
to get by somehow.

I spent an afternoon with the Hong
Kong Water Police. They wear shorts
and search the sampans and junks with
the keenness of boy scouts. Only the
Communist boats Irom Масло pass un
challenged. "We don't want to tangle
with them,” they told me. What thes
rc looking for, usually, is dynamite. The
Chinese have a habit of throwing it into
the water 1o stun the. fish, and another
habit of taking it home with them in the
: а good deal of dy
mite in Hong Kong as this is written. At
dinner parties, the discussion is always
about China, “IL von want to know what
is really going on there,” they told me,
"have a look at Macio.

L went there in a hydrofoil. Formali-
Чез were minimal. 1 wandered round
and marveled at the squalor and that
there could Бе so many crabs. I was the
son for crabs, Everywhere men, wom
d children were tying them up with
ralia and popping them into wicker bas-
kets, In some stores, they held them up
in front of an elect bulb, but In
discovered why. I drilted into the casino,
which is moored Desde the junks, and
ime absorbed in roulette, 1 only just
ged 10 catch the hydroloil back to
Although 1 had glimpsed
China across the water, L had discovered
absolutely nothing about it. I was no
longer curious. It was time to go home.

One day, 1 shall publish the delinitive
guide on what not to sce or do abroad.
Avoid, for example, anywhere connected
with a legend. "Here the simple fisher
men threw themselves
They n * done so, but it will be a
steep climb for the rest of us. Ay
towers and death leaps, plays in toreim
languages and places entirely rebuilt
since the Last War. Avoid sports майа
nd tea ceremonies amd. chrysanthemum
shows. Beware of all arts and crafts and
performances of works by Strauss, Gersh-
ind the gentlemen whe wrote My
Fuir Lady. Limit. yourself to one cathe-
dral, one picture gallery, one giant Bud
dha a week and, for the res, remember
a tourist is a tourist only as 10
he obeys. When he defies his guide, he
becomes a traveler,

en

ver

no the se:

win

`

` »

“Im sorry, Senator, its some more
of those crackpot conservationists.”

265

PLAYBOY

266

RECONCILING GENERATIONS

our young. In many ways, that revolution
has already taken place. Polls and surveys
repeatedly point to the fact that the
brightest and. best educated of our young
people already hold attitudes significantly
different from those of the gener

that have preceded them. Biologists and
sociologists tell us that our young people
ave maturing faster. They are ready earlier
to take responsible roles in our society.
Yet we deny them real participation in
most of our institutions.

Young adults under 21 can vote in only
four states, but 18-yearolds are subject to
the fullest penalties of the adult legal
code. Worst of all, our 18 уваго men
are expected to fight our wars, It is long
past the time when young adults should
be not only listened to but urged to
participate fully in our society. You
adults deserve а voice in the activities of
our national political parties and in thc
selection of our Government olficials. It
is not enough, however, to urge. partici-
pation. In too many cases, the institutions
by which change is to be engineered have
fossilized beyond the point where they
provi agul channels for the
hopes of the young. My party—the Demo-
аце Party—is a case in point. Through
the Reform Commision, which 1 chair,
created in the wake of the turbulent
Democratic National Convention, we have
been laboring to correct that situation. 16

5

e any mc

void a repetition of the 1968 experience,
active energy of the
I

in which the const
young encountered so much frustration
cannot promise the young that politic
channels will be completely opened by
1972, that our institutions will be fully
demoaatic and responsive, although that
is the goal of my commission. But it is
important that the leaders ol our major

ies—and of other established institu

“Loosen up, Jack—t ain't asking for an organ transplant.”

(continued from page 132)

tions Our society—understand that.
not who will control these
organizations but, rather, whether the
organizations will continue to exist at
all. We can be sure that unless there isa
new responsiveness in the old institu-
lions, the. young people of this country
—and others shut out by the atrophy of
our democratic processes—will ignore
them or seek to bring them down by
their own improvised means.

Those institutions that save the
young must be especially open to renew-
al, Certainly, students deserve a voice in
the government of their colleges and
universities. Certainly, we must end the
hypocrisy of à community of scholars
demanding а
ing its brains to a war ma
chine. And surely we need to develop
mutually respectful dialog betwe
dents and faculty, to break the dic:
syndrome of lectures, cramming, e
ind grades. There is liule prospec of
peace on our campuses until here
substantial reforms in our nation insti-
ons, until the colleges and universi-
ties themselves provide vitally relevant
experiences for our young people, until
our national goals and priorities ше
restructured.

Indeed, the entire direction of our
society, and even the tone of our leaders,
is important if the » reconcili
tion between the g As we
know, it is not just the young who are
alienated; there sense of natio:
alienation, a sense of atomization and
tion among many, perhaps most,
Americans. Richard Nixon have
sensed this when he adopted as a post-
a the plea of a sign carried
girl to BRING US TOGETHER
But more than slogans and rhetoric are re-

erations.

isa

may

quired. 1 believe there will be no end to
the alienation of the young nor to the
disenchantment of adults nor to the rage
of minority groups until there is a new
direction in American soci That
divection must be toward doing things
with people rather than fo them.

Young Americans have been among
the most sensitive to these failures
Amcrican life. Lacking the awc of their
fathers for the great technological ad-
vances of the past decade, young people
are not able to substitute sense of
triumph over the moon landings, for
example, for а true triumph of human
concern over the welfare af those back
on earth. Thar machines work, that
computers compute, that the mation is
wealthy, that we produce more cars and
television sets than апу other country—
all this is no solace. It is, rather, а mock-
ing reminder (o the young Uru their
society has spent its time and money оп
nicks and not on people,

Translated to problems. of national
leadership, the priorities I have outlined
call us beyond the systems and ideas of
the past 20 years. President Nixon has
ken one step in that direction by an-
nouncing a fundamental change in the
welfare syst Rather than а simple
dole, the President asked [or a rudim
ary system of national income
mance, combined with an emphas
work fare ather than welfare.

‘This
change is а step toward greater dignity.

Unfortunately. the President. didn't. go.
far enough. Where are the plans to create
those jobs that the President wishes wel-
lare recipients (o asume? His sheme
would, in many states, leave welfare re-
cipiems less well off than they are now.
What prevented the President from mak-
ig his plan real instead of rhetorical
was money. His strong advocacy of the
multibilliondollar anti-ballisticmissile
system must be judged against the inade-
quaey of his welfare program. H a
tional commitment to human wellare is
the key to reuniting our society, the
Presidents criticism of Congress lor add-
ing а billion dollars to his meager educa-
tion budget will do litte to bring the
country together

"The President and his lieutenants also
seem intent upon gathering about the
Republican Panty all those Americans
who are plagued with fear about disor
In this effort, the President and,
Attorney General John Mitch-

na-

el are doing nothing to quell the
legitimate fears of the county about
iolence. Rather, lacking us dedi-
cation to law and order as a natural
consequence of justice, the President is
olfering tough rhetoric and a few more
policemen as solutions to a complex

problem. We know the causes of
lence on the campus, yet ihe

ion ignores them. Violence
city is a result of the unspeakable condi-
tions there, yet the President has offered

nothing substantive- other than
promises to promote black c
now ignored within the Admini
ла remove the roots of that violence.
Never has the Administration tried to
explain that while the poor commit most
crimes of violence, so are the poor most
ofien the victims of personal violence.
n we expect of citizens long
r share of the economic
The Administration in its first year
bout slowing the integration process
the South, Can we expect tranquillity
from Americans whose souls have been
brutalized for 900 y

Young A in many ways
forecasting a set of attitudes and. values
that will be increasingly shared by Amer-
icans of all ages in years to come. They
national leadership
that is less than candid and less than
sincere in its devotion to improving the
quality of life for all Americans. What
iust the young have thought when Pres-
ident Nixon last summer characterized
the tragic war in Vietnam as “America’s
finest hour,” or when he described our
anding on the moon as "the greatest
event since the acation"?

Young people, like a growing number
of others in our society, are deeply but
justifiably resentful, As Archibald Mac
s at the University of
California: “| It] is not a resentment of
our human life but a resentment on be-
half of human life, nor an indignation
that we exist on the earth but that we
permit ourselves to exi selfisliness
nd wrerchedness and squalor, which we
e the means to abolish.” When the
President and other American political

mpaign
pitalism,
ation

point, Americans of all ages will begin
coming together.

Having sud all this to the nation's
what can be said to the young
themselves? The country is faced with a
t a time of critical need for
nnels and. procedures for
change are malfuna
ing ons of young people who
worked for Eugene МС amd Rob-
ert Kennedy accomplished a great deal.
surely, that effort is a model for political
and social involvement. What the young
people in the McCarthy and Kennedy
cumpaigns did was to begin an unfinished
revolution, ‘Those two men represented а
ture from the prevailing mode
ical Both men were in the
process of putting together important new
—although differing—coulitions of Ameri-
cm voters, If there is to be a
tion in American society, it must begin
with a new combination of voters inter-
ested in providing that new

It seems to me that the most impor-
&c now before the youth of
ry is to work tow:
sudi а new coalition—a coalition of the
young, the poor and the oppressed mi

ion.

norities, of the workingman [eft in the
wake of a changing technological society,
of the educated aflluent who now recog-

ize that the goals of society are out of
joint
A vong “coalition of conscience"
needs 10 be formed and mobilized. The
and inventiveness of young
people are absolu pensable to the
success of such 1 his

end, 1 would inge young people to take
а active part in every political cam-
paign that they can reach. IE there is no
candide that suits their interest, let
them find out, help him organize his cam-
p: assist him in the research and
writing of speeches and 1 papel
ng doorbells and disuibure literature.
Such efforts will no doubt produce frus-
trations, but fewer frustrations, 1 would
guess, than those that come with physical
confrontation, While confrontation c
be totally ignored, be contained.
An activist coalition ol involved citizens
must be reckoned with by amy candidate,
whether he runs against it or with it.
Many of the young people who were
disappointed in 1968 concluded that
their cause пай been. beaten, Yet while
their cloris fell short. it was, in fact,
only the beginning, H the processes of

posit

ath

“I suppose you'd rather not be seen tal

m politics are atrophied. if the
means to bring into reality the wishes of
the people are now blocked, the only
remedy possible is the election of men
who will make the necessary cha
would suggest to. young Americans that
the political process, with al its flaws,
still offers the best hope of realizing the
goals they are concerned about

This kind of eflort is a matter of work,
of hard sacrifice, of laboring in the cause
of men who may not be perfect but
who offer the best prospect for remaking
this country in an image aceptable 10
concerned Americans. 1 would urge young
people to enlist in an unrelenting cim-
wainst excessive military spend-
nst a foreign policy of mindless
interventionism, in the effort to democra-
tize our political process and to redeem
the Americin environment, so that life is
bener for all Americans. The way to
wage that battle is with political candi
dates. Every politician. needs manpower
4 ideas —fresh and vital ideas rooted
in the sensitivity that the young can
best provide. "To influence men who
struggle.” as Jean-Paul Sartre has writ-
ten, "one must first their fight."

joi

10 a seven-[ooL. goose."

267

PLAYBOY

268

AMERICANIZATION (continued from page 116)

there was more responsibility for these ac-
tions, for the decision making, they went
along with it, They signed th ncs
to false and empty reports, went thiough
the motions of trying to improve à bad
ation and decided to win the war on
paper, if not in the field, and they en-
ed the men under them to do the

cou
same. The lack of high-level resignations,
the lack of anger, the lack of anyone's

admitting that he had made an honest
mistake would be a mark of those years
Similarly, too, those who had failed, who
had misled the Presidents of the United
ites the most, would be rewarded, pro-
mored, given even more important and
powerful jobs, Were an American general
to spend an entire crucial year in Vien:

misleading the President about how well
the war was going, why, he would subse-
quently be promoted and put in charge
of the entire American military mission
in Thailand. Would, as far back as 1962,
General Maxwell Taylor express 10 1e-
porters his reservations about the com;
mitment, the belief that, perhaps, we had
entered too kite into too sick a society,
why, he would become, as that commit-
ment becume worse and worse, the most
outspoken defender of the policy and
imminent success. The charade would go
and on; the higher the official, the
the loss of personal integrity.
it would continue even into
hen Ceneral Andrew Good.
Nixon's favorite general, perhaps
the next chairman of the Joint Chiefs,
would arrive in Vietnam for a personal
report to the President. Goodpaster visit
ed a tough area north of Saigon, getting
pessimistic reports for most of the day;
d when he finally met one major who
said, why, yes, everything was fine and,
yes, the war was going very well, and,
yes, the Vietnamese were finally getting
with the program, he turned 10 an aide
and sad, “This is the first time toda
Ive learned anything.” And as these
who had averted their eyes from reality
were promoted, similarly, those who had
dissented from the policy or who had
criticized it, albeit within the channels,
were shunted aside, their careers da

aged forever. "There was much

irma

be
ashame of. In the epitaphs of the South

10

Vietnamese leaders of this generation, it
might be said that no one ever believed
in them or in their word or in their
ability in the first place, that it was all
an illusion and they were the first to
recognize it. OF d aders of
the хате generation, McNamars
Bundys, Taylors, Bunkers, the cpitaphs
would be more severe: that they had, by
their actions in Vietnam, made an entire
country doubt not only what was hap-
pening there but what existed in Ameri
ca, that the commi there would

the

ment

fi

ly tell more about America than

about Vietnam.

him more about himself than abou
he saw, American misjudgments followed
French misjudgments as surely as night
follows day—worse, perhaps, because
Americans had the French experience to
study and learn from. The Westerner
saw the Vietnamese as inferior intellec-
wally, culturally, physically and morally,
We were larger; thus, we were superior.
We were more modern in our technol
ogy: thus. we were superior. We had
higher health standards; thus, we were
superior. We looked down on their ac
plishments, never thinking, of course,
that they had set out to accomplish dif-
fer s. (There was mudi cor
tempt of them culturally, Centuries ago,
they sent poets to foreign courts as their
ambassadors, but that didn’t impress us.)
А Vietnamese lieutenant deep in the
Mekong Delta once came across а very
old the lieutenant.
noticed the air of distaste of the American
with him and he said, “You think this is
just an old man, an illiterate old man,
he knows nothing. But he knows
, old and great poetry"; and he
asked the old man to write some poems,
which he did, then asked him to recite
them. "We are older and we know more
than you think,” the lieutenant said. The
Westerner looked down on the vague and
permissive Buddhism of Vietnam; even a
Westernized Vietnamese such as Ngo
Dinh Diem thought of Buddhism as а
religion that was not really serious, was
barely civilized, almost pagan, in his
view. The Americans never thought of
Vietnam in terms of Vietnamese institu-
tions and traditions. In 1969, Frances
erald noted:

and withered man;

ient in psychoanalysis,
tes seemed preoccu-
pied with the significance of its own
actions. But perhaps the debate was
only symptomatic, As the Vietnam:
ese had never really been the subject
of American journalism, so they had
Пу been the subject of
з policy. That officials of
edy and Johnson adminis-
trations continued 10 issue victory

the United 5

neve

statements for seven years suggests
that, in spite of all their talk about
the complexities of Vietnam, they

le à picture of the coun-
try so simple as to exclude. not only
their enemies but also their own
ics. Though the contours of the
picture were not at all clear, pre-
sumably the officials, too, had fol-
lowed Jean-Luc Godard's
make a Vietnam inside their own
heads —and left it at that,

advice to

Ti started very carly. The Westerners
had always seen and heard what they
wanted to sce and hear. Joseph Buttin-
ger points ont that the first French mis-
sionaries who went there in 1857 assured
Paris that the Viemamese would greet
the French as “liberators and benefac-
tors.” So it was. For over 100 years, the
Vietnamese were dominated by French
rms and French colonialism: 10 the
тепа, those Vietnamese who rebelled
always seemed the minority. Most of the
counnyside was silent, for it had no lead
ership; and some of it, the upper clas,
acquiesced for iis own material reasons.
‘Thus, the French deluded themselves and
saw love where there was only servility
and well-suarded derision,

In 1946 а War
began, as the French tried to reassert by
force the colonial authority that had re-
Taxed during World War Two. In Paris,
where Ho Chi Minh had gone for one
last desperate attempt 10 gain some form
of independence from the French, 10
avert a war, he was interviewed by David
Schoenbrun: “If the French do not give
you some sort of independence, Presi
dent Ho, what will you do?

“Why, we will fight, of course,”
said.

"Bur, President Ho, the French ave a
powerful nation. They have
and tanks and modern wea
have no modern weapons, uo
not even uniforms. You
How can vou fight them?

“We will be like the elephant and the
tiger. When the elephant is strong and
rested and near his base, we will retreat,
And if the tiger ever pauses, the ele-
phant will impale him on his mighty
tusks. But the tiger will uot pause, and
the elephant will die of exhaustion.” A
prophecy of what happened, of cour
There was no shortage of tigers: indeed,
if the French had been interested, they
might have read what Marshal Tran
Hung Dao lad said earlier about other
invaders: “The enemy must fight his
battles far from his home base for a long
time. We must further weaken him by
drawing him into protracted campaigns,
Once his initial dash is broken, it will be
casier to destroy him.” Tran Hung Dao
had been writing about the Mongol
hordes at the end of the 13th Century;
the Vietnamese, of course, defeated the
Mongols.

The French, the real French in Hanoi
and Saigon, were shocked Dy the in
tude of the Vietnamese, whom they 1
known so well and who were now trying
to kill them.

There was an extraordinary sense of
tragedy to the French Indochina War
(an even greater one, if anyone could
ve sensed that it shortly would be
repeated; but who woukl have dared
think that?), The French, proud, brave,
vain, jaunty, could only fight and die
bravely, that and nothing morc. The nha

j, the French Indoch

he

“Well, at least thats one gift I wont
have to worry about returning.”

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270 will. somethin

ques, les jaunes, lac ry supe
riority, had absolute political superiority
they appealed to the highest motivation
of the best of a generation of Vietnam.
ese, to. nat of the white colo-
nialist, to end the var
mandarin system.
few illusions about themselves or their
enemy: they calculated the price coldly
and honestly and then paid it, They
searched for the French vulnerabilities
(as they would more than a decade later
inst the Americans, joining Ваше in
1965 for the first time in the adrang
Valley. The Americans later estimated
drang a victory, but they read и ince
realy h was simply the North Vietnamese
deliberately resting the American military
machine and how to fight it. The an
swer, they discovered, was 10 close то 30
yards and nearer, neutralizing American
air support. Militarily, the war was stale-
mated almost before it began). The
French war dra l on, the tide inevita-
bly tuming against them. (“Anything
th, Not a total success in Indochina,”
Lucien Bodard, author of the excellent
book The Quicksand War, once postu-
lated, rather accurately, “is doomed to
be a total failure”) Having fought the
Viet Minh for eight years and having
learned nothing—the painful lessons of
bad war are learned only at the lowest
level by the people who figlit—still con

temptuous of the enemy and his subtlety,
his capacity to adapt to а war against
betterzarmed adver the French

military command decided to bait at
trap for the Viet Minh. The Viet Minh
would walk imo the wap and, voilà,
the best of Gíap's forces would be de:
suoyed. "The name of the uap was Dien
Bien Phu. The French wr up their
base in the valley. AH around were
high peaks. A friend of mine who vis
ed it belore the battle asked who con-
tolled the high ground. The French

olhcer shrugged his shoulders. And what
the Viet Minh were there and had
rtillerv? my friend continued. They did

not have artillery, the French officer. re
plied: and even if they did. they would
ot know how to use it. But, of course,

they did have artillery, Guvied in,
piece by piece, up and down the Lao-
tian and Vietnamese wails at night.
They had artillery and could ase it, The

ile was over when it started; that
night, the French antillery commander
committed suicide, The war was ove

Dien Bien Phu would enter the lexicon

as а synonym for a trap and a Failure.
Indeed, the Americans would spend
their war endlessly talking about Dien

Bien Plus, how 10 avoid them, sides;
ping them, only to find if von take the
teal definition of Dien Bien Phu—a v
miscalculation, 4 serious overestimation
of your resources, capacity and effective
ness, a concurrent underestimation of the
enemy's reserves,

and virtually impossible to get ош of-
that the entire American war was one
total Dien Bien Phu, Only afer Dien
Bien Phu did the French realize what
had happened. After the Geneva settle.
ment, Bodard sat in a Hanoi bar with a
French colonel who had been captured
at Dien Bien Phu

"h was all for nothing,” he was
I let my men die lor noth-
ing.” His glare was as blind as a
sleepwalker's. "In. prison. camp the
Viets told us they had won because
they were fighting for an ideal and
we were not. Í told them about my
paras at Dien Bien Phu. I told them
how they fought. And they said,
Heroism is no answer. In prison
camp we faced the reality of che
Vier Minh. And we sew that for
eight years our generals had been
struggling against a revolution with-
out knowing what a revolution was.
Dien Bien Phu. Dien Bien Phu was

not an accident of fate. h was a
judgment.”
In the French cemetery at Tamon

hut airport in Saigon, where the croses
stand row on row, noting that Nguyen
Xuan Chi and others are mort pour la
france, there is one unmarked grave,
Who is that for? a reporter once asked
“The French always said that it is for the
fist American soldier who will die in
Vietnam,” the Viernamese answered.

The American commitment to
mam was born ol many thing
gane, naiveré, blind faith in Am
power and. Americin righteousness
obsessive fear of the Communists.
The commitment stared in 1954. alte
fall of China, immediately after the
am War and the end of the McCarthy
years, It time when the Com-
munisty were the enemy and, indeed,
there seemed to he a Communist mono
lith Шып was evil and immoral and
that acted in constant concert agrinst
us In August 1954, Cindinal Spellman,
one of the most powerlul and
tial sponsors of the American commit-
ment, said, “И Geneva and what
agreed upon there means anvthing at
all, it mems . - - taps for the buried
hopes of freedom in Southeast Asia
laps for the newly betrayed millions
of Iulochinese who must lean the
awful facts. ol Пош their eager
Communist Now the devilish
techniqu hing. forced confes
sions and rigged trials have a new locale
for their exercise." But one man does
nor make a policy nor, indeed, а view-
point, and the American. policy in Vie
nam had the general concurrence. of
most American liberals. The libe
been on the defensive in the American
politics of the Fifties and they
evolved a philosophy thar was at once
liberal and ani- Communist, seeking to

Vier-

was а

was

slavery

counter communism by political and eco-
nomic means, opposing the Communists
for intellectual reasons, (In. The Quiet
when Pyle talks about the
Communists’ destroying the freedom of
the individual, the narrator answers,
“But who cared about the individuality

American,

of the man in the paddy field? . .. The
only man to treat him as a man is il
political commissar, He'll sit in his hut

and ask his name and listen to his com-

plaints: hel give up an hour a day то

aching him t doesn't maner what
gw xd like a man, like some-

oue of value Don't go on in the Fast
with that patriot cry about a threat to

the individual soul. Here you'd
m
Stand for the individual amd we just
stand for Private 23987, unit in the glob-
I suategy.”) In America, both groups—
the hardcore ami-Comminist
the d

Dinh

government, TI qualifications were
clearly more Am than Vietnamese
icant To the Americans, Diem
hard and dedicated anti.Commu-
traditional and deeply moral
Catholic (more а Spanish priest tha
Vietnamese one, a Viernamese noted),
vet he talked the kind of v
reform that liberals believed in. regularly
mentioned land reform, To the Vietnam.
exe, he was а Catholic in a Baddhist
country, Ú Central Vietnamese in the
South, à man of mandarin psychology at
the time of à revolution that was in large
part antimandarin, a man whose base of
power was rich Caucasians in a country
that had just war to drive the
white man out: he was surronnded by
American advisors, Indeed, Graham
Greene would write of him in 1955,
"Diem
cardinals and police cars with wail
sirens and foreign advisors. droni
global strategy. when he should be wa
mg in the rice fields unproteced, lear
ing the hard way how to be loved and
obeyed ihe two cannot be separated
One pictured him sitting there in the
Norodom Palace. sitting with his blank
brown give, incorruptible. obstinate, ill
advised, going to his weekly confession
bolstered up by his belief that God is
ways on the Catholic side, waiting f
miracle. The name 1 would write under
trait is the Patriot Ruined by the
West" Bur at more typical and influe
. reflecting something of the

eric propaganda-generating mood
of the time. was that written in 1959
Young proles who
| become Diems personal intellec
aide and propagandis: “Is Neo
Dinh Diem a ‘dictator’ or a ‘democrat?
As one examines the structure of the
Republic of Vietnam and ihe. behavior
of President Ngo. he learns that (a) Ngo
Dinh Diem bas all the authority and all

won a

separated from the people bv
ng

the power one needs to operate a dicta-
torship, but (b) he isn't operating one
Here is a leader who speaks the language
of democracy, who holds the power of a
dictator and who governs a republic in
accordance with the terms of a constitu-
tion. The constitution was written at his
request by a national assembly which he
caused to be elected by the people of the
republic” Diem had been й led in
part by the CIA, and his skill in winning
the first election was engineered with
more help from the СТА. He was, from
the beginning, an illusion to Americans:
but the Vietnamese were not fooled.
They understood what he was, who а
what he represented, what his fa
were; they judged the deeds
vague American-oriemed speeches. Thus.
the extraordinary deception—with the
deceivers being the deccived. We made
our case, it was a republic—we had it on
paper, a constitution, an assembly, all
documented, and we believed it, A vast
array of somewhat embarrassed. Victnam-
ese in their white suits would show up in
the ofhee of then ambassador Frederick
Nolting. representing what was alleged
to be the cabinet, knowing, of course,
that they had no lunction or power, only
to be amazed by thei ment from this

ue.
foreigner. He quite clearly believed that

the alleged foreign mi deed,
a foreign minister, that he deliberated
long and hard on matters of state, that
was important to get him together with
Rusk. Thus, the Kind of
subsequently justihed so many mi
misjudgments and horrors. Ап army
Created, and we who created it believed
it was an army. It had generals and
corporals: ipso facto, it was
and the Vietnamese must bel
though, of course, they saw them a
same troops who had come through their
villages alongside the French, pausing
only to steal chickens and ducks
help landowners collect their

es. To
this day, we think of the generals in
Saigon as generals; the Vietnamese think
of them as former French corporals. But

the army was typical of the American
role there. We created institutions and
then believed they worked, and encour-
aged the Vietnamese to lic to us about
them: we lashed out at those Americans
nd Vietnamese who did not lie, who
broke through for quick, flashing mo-
ments of candor. But we believed all of
our house of cards, that the Chamber of
Deputies was a chamber, that the fact
that Diem had arrested many political
opponents had no ellect on the politi
attitudes of the Vietnamese, since tl
etnamese were not interested
nyway. We saw what we wanted
se, believed that the Vietnamese saw
way, too. But the reverse was true:
The Vietnamese saw everyth icd
from 1954 on in the South as tarnished
by white Western hands. Everyone who
got ahead in those days and reached

“If only he could think

a position of power and influence, who
cived a decent education, usually did
it through some Western-supported insti-
tution, It was one of the great attractions
of the Buddhists when they rose up in
1963 that they were so Vietnamese. They
had received по foreign aid, had not
been trained at Fort Bragg, more often
than not spoke only Vietnamese
ticed an ancient and powerful Vie
esc reli, The Buddhists provided one
of the few social structures other than the
Viet Cong where a Vietnamese could rise
on talent alone.
"Monsieur Diem's position is quite
dificult,” the North Vietnamese prime
ter Pham Van Dong told author
rd Fall in 1962. "He is unpopular,
and the more unpopular he is the more
American aid he will require to stay i
power. And the more American aid he
cives, the more he will look like
puppet of the Americans and the less
likely he is to win popular support —
“That sounds like a vicious circle.
Il interrupted.
“Not a vicious circle;
а very small smile, “it is r
a descending spiral.”
The spiral went inei
The fine young Americans, brave, ideal
istic, went io Vietnam determined (o
help the Vietnamese. Whatever else they
were, they were white, and they were not
revolutionaries. The U.S. Army officer
corps, whatever else it may be, is not
noted aš a training ground for the revo-
lutionary spirit. They found themselves
assigned as partners to pleasant young
Vietnamese officers, С
nd they dutifully we

said Dong, with
ly more like

ably downward.

in abstract terms. . . .

teach those captains and majors how ío
woo the peasants, little realizing that the
good Vietnamese captains did not want
to woo the population, to bridge the gap
that separated them from the muck of
peasant Ше, but, rather, to increase the
gap. The base for the Vietnamese govern
ment was the Americans: the more th
Americans gave, the less the government
depended on its own population for sup
port. Inevitably, the proxy war was over:
the Viet Cong in 1964 had defeated the
American proxies. The men who made
the decision about whether to send
American combat troops to Vietnam
e not men besieged by selfloubt
1 Moyers has recalled being at a
ty Washington whe
someone suggested that the war in View
nam might take the Americans as lor
as the B aya, 12 years, "We
are not the British,” a high member of
the Administration archly answered.)
They were representatives of the success
Tul arcas of Amcrican life: they knew
nothing about. American social failure
"They were,” says someone who worked
with them, “about as completely misin
formed as people сап be about the ability
of American technology to satisfy human
desires. They felt t
was that was needed,

wei

Was there a revolution? Then we could
meet the revolution with more economi
goods. Our kind of rice, our big, juicy
pigs" They also felt that no matter how
well the Viet Cong had fought ар
the ARVN, and how well the Viet Minh
had fought against the French, the ene
my would collapse the frst time an

271

PLAYBOY

272

"But in the bar you said you wouldn't mind making five big ones.”

American combat soldier appeared, the
first time American bombers flew over.
We were simply too powerful for them
nd they would know this—some fighting,
test of wills, and then a trip to the
i generous in

ble, Ameri

The

ШЕ extraor
place, reeking of the Americ
(even the good touch: The construction
business has given employment to thou-
ands of Vietnamese and treated them as
A n workers are treated at home).
We came, we fought, we died and very
lite happened, John Foster Dulles in
1 had called Dien Bien Phu a bless

Bernard Fall, a far beter observer,
would write regretfully that the past is
mor that easy по escape, that the Ameri
ns were walking in the same footsteps
though dreaming dif-
ferent dreams. We created in a nation
that had been technologically (though
mor ideologically) just tottering on the
edge of the 20th Century one of the most
massive and modern communications
networks in the world: and it was useless.
Washington called Saigon as easily
called McLean, Virginia, and it le:
nothing. The preconceptions and the
illusions passed back and forth; all (his
gear, all this equipment, and it was never
ble to teach the lessons of this war to
onur leaders. The enemy would lack this
Kind of equipment; his would be primi
tive—perhaps only a runner crossing
through paddy fields, or a crude radio net

work—bur he would know what we
were doing. We would have the most
extraordinary mobility of army il

the history of mankind. We could move
divisions in moments, transplant. giant
artillery pieces, and yet, we would
miss contact, we would punch the pil-

low, while they, using at best motor
ized sampans, would strike suddenly
nd quickly, and more often than not be
g d take a grea

meals, spec
how to fight the enemy. But it would come
down to the frustration depicted in Jon:
than Schell's The Village of Ben Suc,
when a giant American soldier looking
for weapons in a thatched hut pointed to
his own weapon and asked а young
namese woman, “Yon have same-sime’
‘That which could be built was built and
buile quickly, astounding and deluding
those who had done the building. If Cam-
rink Bay could spring up from nothing,
stant port, didn’t that also mean that
war was going well, that the kill st
tistics were valid and accurate, that the

Viet Cong must be suffering, that the
pacification program was working, too?
Roads sprang up, ports were built, b
acks appeared overnight: throughout
the countr t had been desolate t
in became instant bases for jet fighter
bomber. The lesson seemed obvious,
that the American experience and genius
were valid here, too. The smallest b:
racks in the smallest hamlet sprouted hot
showers and flush toilets. There was a
Armed Forces television station :
could fight the war in the morning
then, dog tired, still in combat gear, wateh
Combat at night. When I went back in
Tate 1967, 1 remember registering the first
night at the Caravelle and looking over
ata huge television screen in the lobby:
There was George Plimpton being inter-
wed; he was followed by the local
weather girl, who gave not just the Da
Nang and the Camau temperatures (hot
weather followed by hot weather followed
by...) but the temperatures for Los An-
geles and Indianapolis, Tt was а new
world, modern, electronic and futile
Electronic gear was everywhere: A new
generation of American kids did not
write letters to their parents, they simply

slipped a cartridge into а sma
corder and began talking. "Dear Mom,
"s not so bad here as they say. ..." Then

they would go out for combat, slipping
то a helicopter, flying over the land once
distant and alien to them, now so close,
yet still distant and nd they would
fight and die. Occasionally, they would,
break (ог mail helicoptered in or hot
pizza helicoptered in, and an American
general would boast to a visitor how
good the morale was; there was always а
hot meal, Yet all of this was bewildering
And it did not work, Ап American br
ade would move into a district and
fight well; there would be much killing,
heavy casualties on both sides: but final-
ly, the enemy would move back and the
pacification program would begin, The
pacification program. would be unus
successful. and soon the fit
would be mirrored on even finer charts,
and Vietnamese colonels would proudly
show to American generals the astound
ing resul—one third of the district
pacified a year ago, and now look: two
thirds pacified. Then sadly, someor
would need the poor brigade elsewhere
and off it would go, and back would
come the Viet Cong, and the fine charts
would be useless. The Vietnamese colo
nel would nor travel at night, and
the pacification program would join all
the other failures of the French and ihe
Americans. The casualties were high for
us, so we used air pow ng hee
strike areas—anything that moves, hit it
—driving the population out of their
villages. (To destroy the dense jungle
cover that hid the enemy from our bomb-
ers, we saturated areas with an anti-crop
spray so poisonous it produced fatal
formation in over 90 percent of labor

tory animals who were given normal
doses of it and has already caused de-
formitics in Vietnamese babi
the peasants did not sleep in the villa
at night, because it was too dangerous,
They slept out in the paddies and then,
as it got worse, they left their villages to
go to the new relocation centers. They
were immigrants in their own land, cold-
faced, even the haved hidden, forced off
the land where their ancestors ashes
lay, while American social scholars im-
provised their theories to justify ош

actions. Yes, this is good, this is the
urbanization of Viemam, and this is
something we Americans can understand
and finally deal with, for we are

urban society ourselves, and it bodes well
for the future, The new generation of
Viermamese was. of course, in the cities:
ned to speak English and 10 oper-
¢ on the periphery of legality. sensing
where the money was and how to get it,
the ports, in the bars and bam-
lors, in the exportimport business.
"The best young men from the best fami-
lies wore their hair long in protest,
bought draft deferments or Saigon stall
jobs, bought Hondas on the black mar
ket and enricd their young girls off to
the colfec shops in the afternoon, where

they would sit and mock the Ame
cans. Occasionally, they would slip off to
Paris, where, being of good Families,

they would join the Viet Cong student
groups, preferring the Viet Cong who
did not have w fight 10 the Viet Cong
who did. There were more of them every

day, more cynical, and all the time pay
ing more for their defermenis. And in
the American Embassy, yet another

American ambassador, once more with
fine reputation elsewhere, would drone
ow about the new vitality of the Vietnam-

езе, the new training programs, sending
the ARVN into Laos, quoting some
American general about the improve

nent in the attitude of the Vietnamese,
saying always that they were а you
tion, but we Americans must be patient.

I have a friend in Vietnam who has
been there a long time and speaks the
zc well. He is a wry and funny
man and has a reputation for excellent
scholarship ou Vietnam; this, plus а sc
cure knowledge that the rational has
become irrational, amd vice versi. His
work is much admired both in Saigo
and at home, and he regularly receives
leucis from ambitious young graduate
students who want to work with him.
Recently, onc was not content just to
write him but showed up in Saigon one
day, healthy, intelligent, cager to make a
contribution, He would, he said, stay as
long as needed; he would contribut
What, he asked, could he do?

My friend looked at him for a very
long time and then he said, his voice
very soft: "You could go home."

na

273

PLAYBOY

274

OUR BESIEGED BILL OF RIGHTS (continued from page 191)

not disappeared. One might say we are
10 years and 7000 miles from such inci-
dents and, generally, we are. But that
statement is testimony to the ellectiveness
of the privilege, nor to its superfluity.

That we still need protection
coercion is demonstrated by the
of violent i that has been
discovered in the past decade. The Civil
Rights Commission found violence di-
тегей at Negroes for many reasons,
them the obtaining of confessions.
ly in New Jersey found coercion
10 be а common questioning technique,
used with impartiality against both white
il black suspeas Let anyone think
this represents the irreducible level
of violence, the same study showed that
in nearby Philadelphia, coercion was a
тате phenomenon. The dillerence was at-
tributed to the determination of Philadel-
phia authorities to respect the privilege.
ven when the zeal of law enforcers
does not extend to physical brutality,
threats and promises сап be equally
effective in breaking the will of a sus-
pect. For the law enforcement resources
of an entire state to close around a lone
suspect and intimidate him into confess-
ing is unseemly. And it is dangerous. If a
lide fear makes a guilty man confess, a
lot might move the innocent to admit
ili. More likely. it could ma
criminal exaggerate his. deeds, clearing
the police files of unsolved crimes. These
are too common realities, and. judicial
enforcement of the Fifth Amendment
the primary limit on their occurrence.

The Filth Amendment privilege pro-
tects against more than physical and ps
chological brutality; it is intrinsic to the
individual's right of privacy. The dwin-
dling of privacy has been as Irequentiy
noted as the rise of crime. In the modern
world, we have only belatedly realized
that privacy is an increasingly scarce so-
cial resource and one that must be visi
lamtly protected against the claims of
efficient social ordering. We hi
so far prevented the establish
tional computer bank, for example.
The projected uses of the computer seem
perfectly legitimate: Some well meni
men want an efficient means of arranging
all the information the Government al
ly has, in order that it may be Detter
used for the good of all. What is wror
with Ht? Simply this—that everyone
has something to hide: not something
that he is necessarily ashamed of but
that he wants for his own, That he once
stered as a Democrat, for example,
or made an improvident investment, or
engaged in a youthful escapade not even
criminal, or bought an Edsel. These are
the sors of faas that the state knows
lut that we do nor w: 10 know
too well.

Perhaps the best w
t the privilege ay

criogation

ama
А ки

€ а minor

to appreciate
inst self-incrimin

wh

tion really means is to imagine а system
without it. There are, of course, countries
that have neither а Fifth Amendment
nor tyranny. But they have developed

other restraints. in dealings between
state and citizen, From the record of
coercion in the United States, even with
the privilege, it is apparent that we
have developed no substitute. lor the
mendment, And repeal in the present
context would hardly provoke a search
lor substitutes, If we “liberate” our
ofhcialdom from the Filth, it will nor be

because the officials have so internalized
is values as to render it superflue
Rather, it will be because we have decid
ed we can no longer afford the restrain
it imposes. Pe repeal would rep-
тезеп! posit ement 10 do what
formerly the i prohibited, Post-
repeal America would not be a non-Fifth
society; it would be an anti-Fifth society.

What could happen without the amend.
ment would seem 10 many a whole new
order of police behavior. One em imag
ine the invesisator calling the citizen
» lor a chat about the events of the
past few days, weeks or "Come

уз.

down to the station and bring your diary
гу. "What. crimes
ity in

with you," he might sa
have been committed in your v
the past month? Do vou take à me
walk? Why that route?" At this point,
the citizen may keep silent, which will
no doubt interest һа
10 defend his innocent privare habits.

How many details of one's Ме
petlectly legal and honorable, vet person
al? What iv more totalitarian than having
10 report on these things at the insistence
of some bureaucrat who naturally views
his task as more important than your pr
хасу? Yet it is only am explicit prohibi-
n such as the Fifth Amendment dat
prevents the state from seeking such toral
knowledge. The ends are legitimate (in
vestigating crime) and rhe means seen
14 enough in the individual сазе (just
a few polite questions). But if the imer-
rogition is limited only by the numbe
of crimes to solve, there is no limit at all.

But the Filth Amendment does not
merely protect us against embarrassment
t keeps us out of jail. Four hundred
years ago, Montaigne wrote, "No man is
ht but he

jury. or he wil

so exquisitely honest or uprigl

brings his actions and thoughts within
compass of the laws, and
that ten times in his Ше might not
lawfully be ha In the imervening
centuries. the number of crimes for
which we may “lawfully be hanged” has
been reduced. But the number for which

we may be imprisoned has multiplied a
How many тах underp:
ments he result of unwitting errors
by the taxpayer? How much simpler
prosecution would be if the taxpaver
could be interrogated alone, without
either his lawyer or his records.

hundredfold.

There is à. more insidious possibility
for law enforcement in a post-Filth
Amendment era. Instead of investigating
specific crimes in which a suspect might
have been implicated, the state сап call
in people for general investigations.
Who has not wittingly or unwittingly
exceeded. the speed limit or littered the

sidewalk or crossed a street against the
ed Tight? When asked, you com.
mitted any crimes?” what does one say?

To say no is to lie. If done in court, t
is perjury; out of court, it may he called
obstructing justice. To confes is to pay
penalties just because some official has
singled one out for reasons that will
never be known. In effect, the stare can
make cither a criminal or à perjurer out
of most anyone it chooses. Pity the un-
fortunate man who falls out of favor
with his local t attorney!

In fact, today's large number of crimes
necessitates some sort of selection by law
enforcers. bur the criteria of selection are
never specified by the legislature. Some
law-enforcement agencies concentrate on
street crimes; others perceive a threat in
subversion and question suspects: about
their polities: yet others spend their time
enforcing civil rights laws. But the deci
sion may as easily be made not according
to what crime seems most important but
according t0 what group one hates or
fears most. Crime can be investigated
while keeping an alert eve on ethnic or
political minorities. Membership in on
of these groups сап become an inv
to inquisition, Political leaders, in fact,
are inclined to define law-enforcement
priorities in terms of the anxieties of
their electoral constituencies

Even those who fall on the right side
of prosecutor discretion today ought not
10 he so sure that they сап get along
better without the Fifth Amendment. It
was only 15 years ago that the clamor of
McCarthyism threatened the privilege

tion

ліпы sel-inaimination. That Gunpaign
was not directed against street crime bur
ast the right ro hold ones own
political beliefs, the right to believe dit-
feremly from Senator McCarthy with-
out being publicly harassed. McCarthy is
gone, and the Fifth Amendment and we

we still here, but that is no assurance
that another witch-hunt will not occur.
The Fifth Amendment is part of our
esential insurance against that day.
Not only Fifth Amendment. bur
our whole heritage of individual liberty
rejects inquisitorial law enforcement
Those who would tamper with this her
gue that it will be more difficult
ach criminals if we Cannot make
course, there are times
evidence is available,
often as is frequently
asserted. 1 must emphasize, however, that
iberty is worth this small price. We
should not rush to abandon our auton-
omy as individuals just because it creates
inelficiencies in the apprehension of

the

them confess. ОГ

other
not so

when
althou

no

ai s. Democracy may be an ineffi-
cient means for determining policy, but
we do not rush to abandon democracy.
We are justifiably concerned with crime,
but the criminal's power is nothing com-
pared with the power of the state.

Proponents of new measures argue
that “adjusting” the Fifth Amendment
will not unleash the entire force of the
state. They claim that the Fifth Amend-
ment that protects us Ust arbitrary
intrusions by the state is something dif
ferent [rom recent judicial interpreta
tions, It is said that the courts have
enacted а new code of criminal pro-
cedure under the guise of interpreting
the Constitution, It is true that the
Supreme Court has prescribed precise
rules that, understandably, are not. pres-
ent in the Constitution, But such rules
are the only way to make the Constitu-
tion a reality. When Wolf vs. Colorado
left enforcement of the Fourth Amend-
ment to the states, it was too widely taken
as a green light to search and seize at
will. The Court has not expanded the
privilege against selfincrimination: It
has created effective remedies and ex-
tended their protection to the poor and
ignorant.

The test of the constitutional
confession has long been whether it was
voluntary or not. A confession could not
constitutionally be beaten out of а sus-
pect. It could be extracted through more
subtle psychological pressures. playing
upon the fears of the suspect. What the
Court did in the Miranda decision wa
to apply the same standards to the re-
ality that confronts the poor and the
ignorant defendant. Organized criminals
have their lawyers and know enough to
call them when they confront the law.
When they volunteer a confession, it
a bargain, exchanging help to the police
for lesser charges and lighter sentences.

But a lawyerless defendant Lacing the
law for the first time has no knowledge
of such 1 s. Ignorant of his
the suspect sees no limits to what hi
captors can do. Indeed. interrogation
gest creating the impres
° omnipotence. And even if

are limits, who enforces them
st the police? The suspect in thi
n frequently lias по real choice in
ior. This produces results for
the inquisitor. It also provides
tive lor the police to violate other rights.
Although the Fourth Amendment. re-
quires probable cause for arrest, the
bility of information from the un.
А prisoner encourages the arrest

ige numbers of people on “suspi
cion,” in the hope that some of them
will reveal incri ag informati
under the stress of custody

Miranda is closely tailored to the cocr-
cive atmosphere in which
occurs, The police are not forbidde
ask questions; they are not required to
warn informants who are not suspect

y of a

manuals su
sion of po
there

and volunteered statements are perfectly
acceptable evidence. What Miranda does
require is the warning of a suspect that
what he says сап be used against him
and that he has а right to r silent
nd to have a lawyer—free, if he cannot
afford one. These are not new rights,
They are all means of effectuating the
long-recognized privilege against sel
incrimination, based on the appreciation
that rights are useless if the holder is
ignorant of them. Miranda upholds the
proposition that the poor first ollender
titled as any of us to the right that
g he says should be voluntary.

is as
any!

If Miranda were overturned, it seems
poor,

dear (hat the
numbers of whor
most. all
have said, do not talk, even
egal threats. The police
reful not to harass well-to-do suspects
(who have lawyers, anyway). So, in effect,
separate. system. of interrogation. is es
tablished for the poor. The counterargu-
ment—in favor of abridging the Filth
is that all that is sought is an efficient
system of criminal investigation that acci
dentally affects the poor somewhat dif-
ferently than others. It is a fact of life
that the poor suffer in many ways A
fact of life it may be, but not one we can
overlook when the practical effect of a
proposed rule change clearly would be

disproportionate
ild be

even greater discrimination against the
poor, who could be pressured to talk
more easily than others,

The poor know that whatever hap-
pens to the Filth Amendment, business-
crime suspects are unlikely to be grilled
Aud thi

at the station house. may ex-
in why proposals ío weaken the
1 come mainly from the beucr

off. To establish this mode of law en
forcement is 10 abandon something fun-
damental to America, equal justice
We cannot afford to abandon equality.
We ha eady seen some of the costs
of a racially divided society. These costs
include joblessness and riots and the very
crime wave we want to diminish. It is true
that equality is slowly achieved and will
only slowly affect the crime rate, but it
is essential to peace in our cities What-
ever short-term gaius may flow from re.
ion will not be worth deepening the
tion of the repressed. A зше of
siege cannot be the goal of nd order.
So far, we have assumed that the pro-
on of the Fifth Amendment exacts
its price through crime. But there has
been no sufficient showing that abroga-
tion of the amendment will significantly
affect crime. Interrogation is a technique
for solving crimes, not preventing them.
Even in solving crimes, confessions are
not usually essential. The district anor
ney of Los Angeles County has stated

"He's fifteen years old and very horny."

275

PLAYBOY

276

that Miranda-type warnings have not sig-
nificantly

fected his conviction rate.
The Supreme Court is not one of the
significant causes of urban crime, but the
way our society handles the availability
of addictive drugs and guns is In vir-
tually all of our cities, am appalling
proportion of property crime is commit
ted by addicts. We can do something
constructive about this crime, Addicts
commit crimes for money to support their
pits. Simply prescribing maintenance
doses of addictive drugs, either free or at
a cost of less than a dollar à day, would
eliminate a substantial cause of crime
Unconuolled ownership of guns also
contributes to violence. The mere avail-
ability of a gun has turned more th
family quarrel into а murder. Easy
to gums paves the way for armed robbers.
This is, again, a problem about which we
have the power to do something yet refuse
to act adequately. It is ironic that some
of the most vocilerous opponents of the
Supreme Court also oppose gun-control
m, If they really wished 10 con-
trol aime and preserve liberty, th i
tions should be reversed on bot
Experimentation with such steps as dis-
pensing drugs and restricting the sale of
firearms is a practical approach to the
crime problem as is a determined effort
to eliminate poverty and other under-
Iying causes of crime; If such proposals do
not work out in practice, they сап be
modified or abandoned. But constitu-
tional experimentation is Гик more dith
cult. Constitutional restrictions serve a
more complex funetion than to provide
statute law and guide judicial decisions.
The constitutional rule, by instructi
olficialdom as to its primary duties to citi-
»culcates а basic respect for indi
dignity. To alter the rules every so
often devalues the social policy under-
lying them. The entire relationship be-

tween citizen and state is altered, with
results neither foreseeable nor easily сог-
rectable. Perhaps with this in mind, we
have never fundamentally altered. the
Constitution.
tampered with the Bill of Rights.
Establishing the basic relationship be-
tween the citizen and the state is the
greatest task of the constitution mak
ask dificult to do well, because
the arrangement must last far beyond
what the wisest man can foresee, When-
ever adjustments are required, the imme-
diate demands of the state always scem
so pressing and legitimate. In any single
case, it is difficult to resist the demands
of necessity, as the Japanese: Americans
who spent World War Two in concen-
tration camps learned. What if the Bill
of Rights had been writen during that
crisis? We are in the midst of another
crisis now and it is an equally bad time
to rewrite the Constitution. Especially,
we should nor rewrite ir in response to
proposals that trade away liberty for the
illusion of security. In the end, we would
be protected from neither the state nor
the criminal. I we sacrifice only the Teast
aware of our fellow citizens, we exacer-
Date the causes of violent conflict, with-
om eliminan у of the symptoms.
There are many ways of fighting crime,
but neither for rich nor for poor are
there many ways to protect the privacy
and integrity of the individual rights
and values that are the very esence of
constitutional liberty
One of the tenets of the Te
sion is that bad cases mak
Times of sues make even worse law. Tt
would be bad law and bad policy to
weaken the F dment, lor it is
even truer today than it was 178 years
that we can allord liberty. And we
must preserve those laws that guarantee it.

And we have never even

“And they say chivalry is dead.”

(continued from page 190)
truly lived. “And who can say this was
not the cise with the beloved Norbert
Mandel, from his early service ıo his
country in the Coast Guard, right along
to his unstinting labors on behalf of the
East Coast теаГемшне board; a life in
h the unselfish social gesture was
always a natural velles, rather than some-
ad to be painfully extracted

from him."

Hold ir right there," said Gans, rising
16 his feet in the rear of the chapel.

"Shame," said one of the Philadelphia
women,

“What's up?
fou didn't eve
Gans.
“I recall making that point quite
my remarks," said the rabbi.
"How can you just toss him into the
ground? 1 Gans. "You haven't told
anything about him. That was a n
there. He cut himself a lot shaving. He
had pains in his stor . Why don't you
try 10 tell them how he felt when he lost
а job: The hollowness of it. Why don't.
you go imo things like his feelings when
someone siid kike to him the first time?
What about all the time he clocked
worrying about. canc And then didu't
even die from it. How did he tect when
he had ihe Kid, the boy who's sitting
over then bout the curious mix.
ише of his sisters, the
tenderness. on one d and, ou the
other hand, the fe
cise, because va
this society?
stuf, rabbi?"

And theyre just letting him
said one of the Philadelphia women.

“They're not throwing him out," said
another But Rose and Sylvia kept sob-
bing biuesly, so awash iu sorrow the
sisters appeared not to have even real.
wed that Gans had taken over from the
rabbi. Gans was concerned about only
onc person, the well-built son, Phillip:
but, to his surprise, the handsome optom.
сїтїм only buried his head in his hands,
as though he were a bill;
scolded zt half time by an angry coach.
The rabbi was silent, concerned, as though
the new style was determined to be moder
ate and cozciliitory, no matter what went
on in the chapel. Bs a big religion. the
rabbi seemed to be saying by his thought-
ful silence, with plenty of room for the
excessive

Up until now, it had been a kind of
exercise for Gans, but the heat ot his
own words began to excite him, *
you realy say you're doing justice to this
п he asked, "Or are you insulting
lim? Do you know how he felt? Do vou
know anything about his disappoint-
ments? How he wanted to be taller? То
you, hes Norbert Mandel, who led an
exemplary Ше. What about the women

sked the rabbi,
know this m

carly

e not allowed to in
How about some of that

talk,"

he longed for and couldirt де? How he
spent half his life sunk im gricf over
things like tha
g his nose and worrying about getting
ıt at it. Do you know the way he
felt about yellow-haired girls and how
he went deal, dumb and blind when one
he liked came near him? Shouldn't some
of that be brought ou? He wanted
blondes right into his seventies; but did
he ever get а taste of them? Not on your
life. 1i was Mediterranean. types all the
way. Shouldn't you minute of your
time to get into how he feh about his
son, the pride when the kid filled out
around the shoulders а
er than Norbie would ever be, a
lousy, too, that made him so asl
und guilty? Do you have any idea what
he went through, playing the kid

me. b him, and then "
to cut oll his arm for it? Then letting
kid win nd that was no
good. either. You ac as though you've
scratched the suface, Don't make me
laugh. will you please, You know abour
his vomiting. when he drank too much?
у. How do you think that
felt? What about a little something else
you're leaving out? Those last moments

t. And the other half pick-

nd the
med

the

game

when he knew something was up and he
had to look death right in the fice
What was that for him. a picnic? ГИ tell

bbi, you ought to pull him right.
t him

you,
out of the coffin and take а look
d find out a Nule bit about who
you're talking about.”

“There was a time,” said Phillip, the
sole surviving son, as though he had re-
ceived a cue, "when he lelt the family
[or а month or so. Не was around, but
he wasn't with us. He got very gray and
solemn and didn't ear. We found out it
s because an insurance doctor told
him hie had a terrible heart and couldn't
have life insurance. He called him an
‘uninsurable. That was something, hav-
ing an u ble for a dad. Ie was
mistakehis heart was healthy at the
time—but it was the longest month of
my life. The other time th to
ip on the
ме were going out to Coney
па. Shut him up like you never saw
yone shut up. Guy twice his siz
Very touching,” said the rabbi, "Now
1 ask how you knew the deceased?
T used to see him around,” said Gans,
nc," said the rabbi, “Well, I don't
see why we can't have this once in
while. And all be a little richer for it. If
the family doesn't object. Do you have
anything else?

Nothing 1 can think of,” said Gans,
“Unless some of the other members of
the family would like to sound off a bit."

“He had a heart of solid gold,” sa
ol the sisters.

He was some man,

mind is when he shut someon
el whe
Ish

* said the other.

fellow,”

Sounds like he was quite
said the rabbi.

Gans had no plan to do so originally
but decided now 10 go out to the burial
grounds, using his own car instead of
accepting the offered ride in one of the
rented limousines. After Mandel had
been put into the ground, Gans accepted
an offer from one of the sisters, whom he
now kuew to be Rose. to come back and
cat with the family in a Queens delica
tesen, Cans own mother had always
been contemptuous of that particu
ritual, mocking families who were able
to woll down delicatessen sandwiches
half an hour after а supposedly beloved
uncle or cousin had been towed into the
earth. “They're very grielatricken," she
would say, “you can tell by their appe
tites.” Gans, as a result, had developed а
slight prejudice against the custom, al-
thought the logical part of him said why
not cat if youre hungry and not eat i
youre not. There seemed to be a larger
crowd at the delicatesen than h
the funeral. And ñ wast delicitesen
food they were eating, either; it was

"s cooking. Evidently, the family had
merely taken over the restaurant for the
alternoon, but Rose had. brought in her
own food. Guns had some dilliculty meet-
ing young Philips eyes and Phillip
scemed equally ill at ease with him. Gans
could not get over how wrong he had
been about the boy. He had had an
entirely different feeling about what a
Brooklyn optometrist should look like,
“This lellow was central casting lor. the
dark-haired hero in Hollywood We:
Even the right gait, slow and sensu
Gans wondered if he had ever thoug

lar

n the food that
scemed to indice he had carned it, He
sar ar the same table as Phillip, who
ate dreamily, speculatively, and seemed,

dually, to get. comfortable with the
nystérious visitor who had taken over
the funeral service.

“You know," said Phillip, "a lot of
people never realized this, but he was
one hell of an athlete. He had two
trophies for handball, and if you know
ihe Brooklyn playground league, you
know they don't fool around. And a guy
once offered him a tryout with the Bos-
ton Bees.” The boy paused then, as if he
expected a nostalgic anecdote in return
from Gans,

Instead, Gans took a deep breath, tilt
ed his chair back slightly and said, "I
have to come clean, I never met the man
in my lite.”

“What do you mean?" said Phillip,
hunching his big shoulders a bit, ak
though he seemed more puzzled th:
annoved, “I don't understand

Cans hesitated a moment, loo
around at the sisters, Rose and Sylv
the cousins from Philly, who
much more convivial, now that they
were eating. at the rabbi, who had come
over for a little snack, and at the other
mourners. He complimented himself on
how easily he had fitted into the group,
nd it occurred. to him that most fa
lies, give or take a cousin or two, are
remarkably similar, the various members
more or less interchangeable.

“L don't know,” he said, finally, to the
gly handsome optometrist, sole sur-
offspring of the freshly buried
Norbert M I read about your dad
in the paper and 1 had the tecling they
were just going to throw him into the
ground, and that woukl be the end of
him. Bam, Кари, just like he never
lived. So | showed up.

“Now dur I think of in" he said,
reaching for а slice of Rose's Moln cake
id anticipating the crunch of poppy
seeds in his mouth, “1 guess E just didn't
think enough of a fuss was being made,”

g

at
seemed

“So? Crept into any good tents lately?"

277

PLAYBOY

278

man at his leisure (шиша pon pge 210)

with juicy olives and bedded on a carpet
of spice, fruits and vegetables.

Next comes a mutton course made
from a sheep roasted on a spit or baked
in a clay oven and cooked throughout
the preceding day. After you have dis-
posed of these openers, а plate comain-
ing something that looks like half a
football will be placed in front of you.
This is bstila, а giant confection of Пау
pasy (more than 100 livers when
cooked by experts) that dissolves at the
touch of a fork. Inside are соду, butter,
chopped almonds, pigeon
raisins, onions, ginger. coriander

prepare, but under the hands of a skilled
d vanishes in minutes.

И you're still conscious after the bstila,
you will be ready for Morocco's staple
dish, couscous, which is granulated flour
steamed over a broth. It’s served on a
silver or copper platter and decorated
with choice cuts of meat and vegetables
and has the consistency of a light rice. In
а Moroccan home, you would eat from а
communal dish with the other diners,
using neither knife nor fork, With the
thumb and first two fingers of the right

She's on her way here [or a second opinion,

hand, you scoop up a portion, along
with some meat and sauce from adjacent
dishes, and then, by a form of expert
one-handed juggling, shape the portion
into a ball and Wick it with the thumb
into your mouth. Couscous is followed
by a mountain of fresh fruit—citrus,
plums, grapes and bananas—which, in
turn, is fa 1 by that most delightful

Moroccan custom, the drinking of mint

tea, After a series of ritual castings by
the teamaker. the brew is served in small
glasses and the company sits back to
savor the result and nibble on light
pastries of honey and almonds,

In the Mohammedan religion, alcohol
is forbidden and wine is not normally
taken with meals. There are a few Mo-
roccan labels to sample, however, and
while none is sensational, they deserve to
Among the best are Valpierre,
Sidi Larbi and a cabernet strain, all гей,
‘There is also a Moroccan rosé that has а
pleasant bouquet but is unique among
1 wines we know, in that it loses its
flavor the moment it passes the tongue,
e the aftertaste of a glass of water.

From Rabat, our route leads south,
following the Adantic coast line, and

she? What's the matter with her?”

stops first at Mohammedia, a resort of
mixed but diverting blessings. There is a
golf course, a casino with Daccar:
chemin de fer and rouleue, a few very
rt horels and a beach that, most
regrettably, sits in the shadow of a colos
sal oil refinery. И you choose to stay
overnight, check in at the newly built
: where tlie clientele is usually on
sale side of senility. The luxury
amar hotel is a grand but somewhat
Jancholy establishment set in formal
gardens and the guests mope around like
passengers on а cruise who can't wait for
the liner to reach the nest port.

But there is a redeemin
somewhat dismal picture of Mohamme-
dia: the Sphit nt and very re-
spectably managed bordello discothéque—
ot sexothéque, as it is known by admirers.
There is nothing cnigmatic about this par-
ticular Sphinx. Customers drive through
double gare. past a red neon sign, and
find themselves in the courtyard of a pri-
vate house. The gatekeeper admits them
throu атйеп, and at the door, they
me greeted by a handsome, middle-aged
French madam, dressed in formal. black.
who looks like the keeper of a select pri-
e hotel on the Right Bank.

Inside is a well-fitted discotheque with
a bar at one end and expensive tables
and chairs arranged. around the circular
Hoor. On a typical night, there are a
couple of girls at the bar, a masive-
awed butch polishing glasses behind the
bar and a young American in Su-Pres.
chinos, polo shirt and Guccis, who sits
against the wall aud looks about as non-
chalant as an expectant father. The girls
are young and pretty, usually French.
When the customer. makes his own ar
rangements with the Lady or ladies of his
choice, they go to one of the many
privare suites on ап upper foor and do
their thing. Fifteen dollars later, he is
ushered downstairs and into the night,
followed by a chorus of farewells from

zement and labor. Bu
very brisk. On an outside wall, some sly
wag has inscribed the slogan DUNCAN
HINES ATE HERE.

Nest stop, Casablanca—less than an
drive south of Mohammedia. Al-
wh it is the only city їп Mowe
co with a population of more than
1,000,000, it need occupy little time—one
or two nights at the very most, enough
for a skin-deep exploration, a few meals
and a leisurely expedition to the Arab
market. The town looks and feels Euro-
pean, full of roaring tralfic, treelined
streets, sidewalk cafés and airline offices:
and though it is more appea
its detractors would admit, there
grander sights to be seen elsewhere
a Morocco. The medina is sprawl
ing and colorful but the prices in
the markets have been inflated by the
town's popularity as an air and sea ter-
(cruise liners disgorge their shop-

ss is never

are

arved passengers here); and since it is
principally a business city that takes its
business seriously, it goes to bed carly,
leaving visitors who have enjoyed a fabu-
lous dinner and are seeking further
pleasures Ji

le alternative but to make
the rounds of a few seedy bellv-dancin
nis and a couple of dreary night clubs
Ideally, one should arrive in Casi—to
use the popular abbreviation- close to
midday and check imo а downtown ho-
tel. The El Mansour and Marhab
© luxury skyscrapers, partly air cond
tioned, with rooftop restaurants and the
Standard creature comforts of good horel-
manship: these are the two best in town:
but the truth is that while the service
both is friendly and efficient, neither
one holds a candle to Morocco’s best
«он, Casas most distinguished hotel
the Anfa, in a quiet residential district of
big villas and manicured gardens. Ht is
irly removed from downtown, but it has
а commendable restaurant and a very
pleasant swimming pool

Tf you don't feel like observing the
local custom of an afternoon. siesta, vou
cin. drive to one of the nearby beaches
nd catch a few rays before the town
es up. Or, if even this is too stren-
uous, wander along to one of the many
is that stay open in downtown Casa.
La Chope, à sidewalk bistro, is one of
the busier spots at (his time of day,
There is a steady hum of conversation,
the clinking of glasses and the aroma of
огоссап cigarettes аг tables nearly al-
жаиуу filled with voung locals and visitors
who may sit for hours over a mint tea or
an Oulmés mineral water while they size
up the passersby.

This soothing pastime can easily take
up a couple of hours, whether in La
Chape or one of the ice-cream parlors
that abound in Casa: and rhe passing
traffic rarely fails to provide novelty for
the onlookers. Newsboys shout the
est catastrophes: shoeshime men. lottery-
ticker sellers and vendors of. incongruous
plastic trinkets | mong the tables,
fully keeping beyond the rea
beady-eved waiters, while an exor
garbed water ‚ apparently
‘ous of his location, stands by the outer
tables, trving to sell water by the brass
cupful to customers who can get it for
free, Oddly enough, some of the people
buy anyway and the water carrier moves
on, jingling his two brass cups and shout-
uz his mission as he goes.

There is а fairly steady stream of very
иаайе girls. some curving long
ndi loaves and laughing with their
friends. ide as minisk
ks of the scoot-

S

blivi-

ıl others who
cdl passengers on the
стз that are seen all ov
Women in robes and v
the seet. and most men aye so red
by the dark, luminous eyes peeping
above the veils that they usually fail to
місе that these beautiful apparitions

the country.
Is glide alon

“Have you ever thought of making it the
six or even twelve musketeers?”

from sun age wear the шем styles in
Parisian foorwear
The veil is wor

most. parts of the
ry pant of the fare
except the eves. In the strict tradition of
Islam, it used 10 conceal—and still does
in some countries—the entire face, be-
cause it was thought that no part of the
female anatomy should be seen by any
man other than the husband. In Moroc
co, women of all ages wear veils either
for iradition or becuse (as їп the case
of the younger girls) they know they
look mysterious. Ht would be unwise to
attempt i ph a veiled female of
апу age. Ost cases
she would he seriously offended.

After La Споре, lunch. H you're not
dining at the hotel (both El Mansour
and Marhaba have excellent kitchens)
and vou have a craving Гог something
French, try Chez Pierre. It’s for gourmets
only. More of the same, but for les
demanding palates, at the Tournebroche
and the Bar de l'Industrie. Oysters are
the pride of the house at La Chaouia,
while at La Mer au Perit Rocher, which

is south of Саза on the coast highway,
the chef's painstaking endeavors сап be
savored in an idyllic seaside setting, Fur-

ther variations on this internation
theme include Sp: La Cori
and Las Delicias, smorga
Viking, three styles of С at
WHirondelle, Vietnamese at the Hanoi
nd the Vietnam (the stomach knows no
politics) and Italian at the Chianti
Moroccan food is found at AI Mouni
delightful garden restaurant, and at Ris
i, which is our favorite, because of its

engi
Tloorshow.
Toccan rest
lust domes

ing aimosphere and its superlative
Like

ny self-respeering Mo-
ni serves all of ili
shes but consimpi
а lengthy process th. he rushed.
When dinner is over, people lie back on
their couches and catel the scented breeze
that drifts in through the open French
windows from the mimosa in the garden
below. They admire the colors and par
terns of the carpets and the delicne trac
ery of the pierced stonework. There are
slender carved columns and graceful arches
and lowering patterns of tile. АП are ob-
jects to be contemplated. in leisure alter
dining. When everyone is comfortable,
the entertainment starts,

H is introduced with a dance by wo
voluptuously beautiful girls, Fatima and
Jallila, whose sinuous duet usually evokes
a chorus of appreciative howls and bi
zarre chirruping sounds from some ol the
Arab audience. Then a few musicians
wander onto the stage and one of the
Is will dance in froni of a bongo player
routine that is best described by com-
ng it to the ique in which
с soloist sw s (four bars of
music) with another. Except that at Ris-
sani, the exchange is an erotic or
ets a fairly slow. pa
gitl replies with her hips but
time, the drummer increases the
«c and the girl responds with her
sts, setting ап even faster beat, and
they continue to alternate until the girl's
halbnaked body is a glistening blur in
the dim reflection of the candles.

After she leaves the stage. it is time
for the guedra, à stirring and enigmati

279

PLAYBOY

280

dance that js usually performed by a
woman of Goulimine, the small southern
village where the dance was born. The
guedra is also а small earthenware jar
With a skin stretched across its mouth,
nd the dance to which this drum gave
its name is supposed to symbolize what
appens when a tribal caravan stops to
rest in the desert, About a dozen. men
and women gather in a semicircle around.
the solo dancer, who kneels in the center
Her palms and soles are dyed a deep blue.
black and she is almost completely covered
by а robe.

The men and women chant and beat
out a rhythm that steadily grows faster.
until the upper body of the kneeling
woman is a gyrating blur of conuc
abandon and her two outstretched hands
arc mapping to and fro in fierce spasms.
Her knees pound ош the same rhythm
as the drummers’ and at certain breaks,
ol the veiled women in the semicircle
chilling ululation, a
m made by rolling the
tongue rapidly over the roof of the
mouth. At a point where the tension
becomes unbearable, the dance is sud
denly finished and the diners, startled by
the unexpected silence and the abrupt
transformation of the dancer from
ure into а shy, smiling woman,
to spontaneous applause. It is а
custom in some private performances of
the guedra for the woman to slip off her
veils, exposing one breast midway through
the di ; bur at Risse is, unfortu-
mately, а custom that is not observed.

Outside of Casablanci. on the coast

youd leading south, are a string of very
swinging popular beach dubs, mostly

discos. the best of which is Abreuvoir.

Petr utet tg

which is operated by a charming young
thing from Baltimore, whose bar is
equipped with swings attached ıo the
ceiling, rather than with i
floor stools. Nearby are the Calypso, an
amiable tavern for young singles, aud La
Noite. an intimate disco-restaurant that
serves Moroccan, Viennese and French
food on the patio. Should you w
мау оп the beach rather u
пу the Bellerive Hotel, which, in addi-
tion to having a fine kitchen of its own,
is in the middle of the beach-cub district
and offers balconiel suites. overlooking
эсап,
The beaches above

and below Casa-
е fine golden allairs lapped by
lantic breakers, but most of the
sea resorts close 10 town are for family-
style day outings, rather than extended
stays; and visitors se few days
of pampered self-indulgence usually Dear
south to the Club Méditerranée at Ag;
dir. About 40 of these clubs are in operi-

tion in diflerent parts of the world, and
one of the more
hed

the one at Agadir
spectacular successes. Jt can be rea
ither by air or by road. From Casall
са, it's about 395 miles, and the entire
їгїр can easily be accomplished in da

кїз єп route for anyone wishing to break
the journey overnight.

Room and meals and а host of inci
dentals are included in the club's modest
yoga instruction, judo, fish-
all free; d in the

ical concerts, cabit-
‚ movies and two discothèques. Guests
pay extra only for drinks, using colored
beads that they buy on arrival. Accom-
modations aren't too luxurious. but since

arc

"It's been taken care of... .

the small poorly equipped
bungalows are used only for sleeping,
people rarely complain. Some of the cot
tages overlook the sea, but most are
scattered around. the grounds among eu
calyptuy and other shade nets. "There's a
large marquee tent for bridge contests, а
couple of ping-pong and chess tables set
in а quiet dell next to a peacock house.

Meals include such Lucullan. entrees
as whole roasted suckling pigs, dressed.
salmon, fish roasted over a slow fire and
а displ ts, cold buffets, cheeses,
salads, three varieties of unlimited wine,
juices and a mountain of fresh fruit
Chamber music is played throughout
I, which may be taken al
round the swimming pool or m the
ning room, and everybody сап ren
to the tables as often as they wish. Mo-
тоссап food is served regularly and on
ceremonial occasions, such as the kings
birthday or Bastille Day, dinner is served
on the beach in caravan tents and guests
loll around on cushions and layers of
carpets, wearing calians and jellabus and
iching snake charmers and Morocc
dancers, Best of all, from the male view-
point, is the surplus of young single
women and the complete absence of any
kind of regimented activity.

Seventy kilometers east of Agadir is
the medieval walled bastion of Tarou-
dant, which is surrounded by evenelated
ramparts 20 feet high. lis one of ihe
most picturesque towns in southern. Mo-
тосоо and should be visited on Thursday
or Saturday, when the weekly souk (mar-
ket) is held and tribes from both sides
of the Atlas Mountains fill the narrow
streets.

Kast of Taroudant, the highway forks
to the north, across the High Айаз and
on то the imperial city of Marrakesh,
third largest city in the counuy and
one of the most romantic in the world.
On the Ir е old town and
in the newer section, along the ubiq-
uous Avenue Mohammed V, are the
айан of a newer Civilization: ait-
conditioned hotels, shiny cars and tourist
buses; but in the medina's labyrinth of
alleys and the clamorous market, the
laws of time and space have been sus-
pended in another remote age.

There are three five-star luxury hotels

exo

w

iu tow d more than a dozen of hum-
bler station. The most famous is the
Mamonnia, which has а AMENSE swi

s pool, tennis courts, gardens and
baleonied suites that look out across the
plains to the snow-capped peaks of the
High Atlas. Other luxury digs are the Es
Saadi (which has excellent food, much
better than the Mamounia's pathetic of
ferings), the Menara and ЕР Maghreb,
both on the small si
hotels are full during the skiing s
(December to April), when thou
Europeans flock into the area for the snow
Oukaimeden, about 60 miles south.
The no in M. sh opens

at about the same time (for roulette, bac
carat and boule) and so do the half-doz
night clubs in town.

AIL of the Larger hotels serve European
food, but for the best Moroccan cooki
go to the medina quarter of Riad Zi-
‚ where you can dine regally in a
former ра а the Dares:
the Gharnata and the excellent Майо
Arabe. Check in advance to sce which
restaurants are staging a floorshow; the
sSalam's is usually the best. The
Taverne and Le Poussin d'Or lead the
field in European cuisine.

‘The biggest show in M

arrakesh is one

that can't be seen anywhere else. It's
been ag daily for centuries and
takes place im а vast square called the
Djemaa-el-Fna. It starts early in the morn-

ing, when merchants, medicine men, beg-
gars, fortunctellers, water carriers and
purveyors of every conceivable commodity,
from kif pipes to caftans, open for busi-
ncs. Опе man will have an inventory
consisting of a pair of battered sandals,
probably taken from his own feet or from
those of a sleeping relative; another will
sit behind a mountain of single false
teeth. A couple of old women pore over
the palm of a nervous youth and cackle

secretly at the misfortunes they read
there: a teamaker dispenses mint tea to
customers who squat around the gleam-

ing apparatus and excl
about the correct brewing procedure; and
reoal braziers glow in a dozen food
Is, where hunks of Lamb and vegetables
simmer slowly on spits.

In the late afternoon, most of
chants pack up and go home, leav
the square to magicians, minstrels. snake
chamers, freeaters, acrobats, storytellers,

the

gamblers, side shows. contortionists and
who

thousands

оГ gaping spectators,
iravel in from the mountains
yond. Mauritian dancers and mu
perform black African routines that pro-
vide a rumbling echo of drums 10 the
wailing songs of the mountain Berbers; a
giant of seven feet teaches tricks 10 а
baby crocodile and acrobats form (оце
human pyramids while small boys w
themselves into knots and a
inan rides backward on à
ing some involved story about a
some prince and his sweetheart. At dusk,
portable acetylene lamps throw a smoky
yellow glare over the brightly colored
merchandise; there is a pungent reek of
: nd kif smoke in the
Ли wears on, the dr
louder, the shell-game operators
for more customers, the fables of
the storytellers become more bizarre and
the eyes of the children who sit and
watch grow ever wider.
Behind the square is а mass of streets
and alleys that form the Marrakesh shop-
center, with its jewelers, doth mer
из, tailors, leather craftsmen, potters,
armorers, weavers, dyers and spice sellers.
Donkeys loaded with untanned sheep-

led

prow
shout

skins are herded through the crowd and
shopkeepers reach out to tempt people
10 stop for a glass of tea and perhaps to
buy a carpet or a gold necklace before
they leave. A guide is esential, if you're
ту. He сап bargain for уоп, show
best sights and lead you through
the short cuts. Fees should be worked
out in advance, It's about a dollar for а
couple of hours. a little more if the
guide speaks good English.

Farther north, along a highway skirt-
ing the shadow of the Atlas, is the medie-
val city of Fès, a mosaic of white roofs
and slender minarets in the historic
heart of Morocco. Fès is the most ancient
of the four imperial cities (the others:
Marrakesh, Rabat and Meknes) and to-
day is regarded as the intellectual capital
of the kingdom. just as Meknes. 40 miles
to the west, is its architectural pride.
Both towns are steeped in the country’s
roiling past, and anyone passing through
for more than a cursory glance should
carry an authoritative guidebook,

Hotel space is comparatively limited
establishment,
Nance rese
tions in winter are advisable. In Meknes,
stay at the Transatlantique or the Hotel
de Nice. The Merinides and the Zalagh
in Fes both have swimming pools: bur
the Thermal Hotel, nine miles ош of
town, in the oasis at Sidi-Harazem, is a
breathtakingly modern construction with
hot springs and a pool surrounded by
palms and oleanders, Dine a feast or

ca

the Palais de Fès for touristoriented
Moroccan specialties; and il you've a
taste for something Continental, try the
Grand Hotel's Normandy restaurant.
North of these fabled towns and run-
ning parallel with the Mediterranean
littoral lies the Ri. which until not 100
many years ago was am inaccessible те
gion of harsh, forbidding mountains pop-
ated by a proud and hardy people who
even today can still boast that thei
land never fell to а conqueror's sword.
Many wied and failed. Now the invaders
ve in peace on new highways that carry
them through а wondrous landscape of
cedar forests and snow-capped mountains
to the silver beaches and crystal waters
of secluded resorts such as Al Hocei
and to the romantic [ortres of Tetuán
At the western tip of the Rif
gier, the last мор on our itinerary
departure point for homebound
via the аси
that connect Africa to Europe. Between
1906 and 1956, Tangier was a port under
international jurisdiction and spies.
smugglers, gold traders and crooks of
k worked their schemes їп bland
ty. But 13 years have passed since
the town became Moroccan territory
in and most of the heavies have fled
for more fertile pastures, leaving a hardy
core of small-time currency speculators,
dope traders and millions of disappointed
tourists, who came expecting to sce Syd-
ney Greenstreet and found Andy Griffith.
One of dhe few remaining links with

ighis
ad for the busy ferries

281

>

PLAYBO

282

the good old days are the cafés around
the Petit Socco, a sully square that at
almost any hour of the day or night is an
open-air crash pad for suungout junk-
ies, brighteyed coset queens and an
indeterminate species of seedy transients
y-changers, Mesh

who run errands. Mor
hustlers and dope pushers ply their стай
outside the Calé Central, dodging from
table to table, looking [or prospects,
swooping every now and then to drain
departed customer's unfinished coffee, Р
lice occasionally check identity papers and
round up a few bedraggled victims, but no-
body rocks the boat too hard or too often.

Beyond the sq а town largely
devoted to catering to the needs of tour-
ists who don't stay very long. Neither of
the two best hotels, El Minzah and the
Rif, quite deserves its five-star rating, but
they both have swimming pools, night
clubs and the usual amenities found in
good hotels. El Minzah is preferable.
The Grand Hotel Villa de France and
th Palace are fairly pleasant
and renowned for their kitchens. There

e dozens of restaurants (he Détroit.
with its superb Moroccan food, is our

favorite, but bstila fanciers will prefer
the Mamora), a handful of discos and
cabarets and а sorry collection of B-girls,
who seem to live оп a diet of colored
water. There's also a municipal casino a
short walk up the hill from the beach.

Tangier may mot be the city of in-
trigue it once was, but there is still an
r ot mystery and menace in the wind-
ng streets of the medina and a hint of
untold stories in the stern [aces of the
ilem old men who gather in the shad-
ows. Tangier does not readily divulge its
secrets, and neither does the rest of Mo-
rocco. "The tremendous growth ol tour-
ism and the advent of the space age have
made few very deep impressions on the
ancient kingdom of the Moors, It slum-
bers still, not in the apathetic sleep of
some indolent lay-about but with the
watchful, wakeful alertness of a wise old
patriaych who has learned too much to
remember. Its mood was best summed up
by a traveler who went to Moroco in
the closing years of the last century.
‘Abide motionless ne past" he
wrote. “Long may your sleep continue,
your ancient dream persist."

"Once you've programmed one of these little fellows,
you know il will always share your basic assumptions.

That's more than you can say for children.

LEFT-RIGHT COALITION

(continued [rom page 140)

administrative agencies of the American
system. If well financed, these smaller
units might prove more effective than а
centralized national Government; at the
Teast, they are doser to the citizenry, so
that, theoretically, they would be more
responsive than Washington's vast ma-
chinery and more flexible in identifyin
and remedying local needs, The cruci
questions are whether sufficient funds
be found to make revenue sharin
anything and whether the Feder
icaucracy can be browbeaten pol
into permitting anything like real operat-
ing autonomy at state and local levels.
"The second major Nixon
welfare reform, represents creeping mo-
income rather than a

program,

tion toward an

relict system, In present. circumstances,
that makes sense, too, if not quite so

obviously as revenue sharing, It plays to
the right-wing revulsion against “bums
on the welfare rolls" and to the left-wing
revulsion against the state policing of
the poor, which is a feature of the pres-
ent system. By providing immediate
money incentives for people not working
to get jobs and carn something, as well
аз vital assistance to the marginally em-
ployed in their efforts to keep working
d improve their lot, the income ap-
proach actually builds an economicaid
m on a freeenterprise base; it
a “handout” than certain tax
incentives or furm-subsidy programs, and
it has the same purpose. But here, again,
it remains to be seen whether welfare
reform will be pushed into a genuine
anti-poverty prog
Revulsionism can have questionable
political effects, too. Mr. Nixon's relaxed.
policy on school desegrega
doubt mollifying some of the right-wing
revulsionist pressures against severe Fed-
eral control of Southern school districts
and may be quashing symbolically the
irrational notion that the blacks are get-
ting too much, 100 Гам. Interestingly
ough. old-line liberals such as Roy Wil-
kins seem more by Southern
п do black or
1 suggests one lan
consequences of right-left
revulsionism. Local community school
control in the South is advocated by
most whites in
much as possible of a segreg
D

am.

ion is no

n ui

Order to maintain as
d social
ity school control
in the city эпе dvocated. by some
blacks in hopes of improving the educa-
ion of their childre ter
community participation in the schools.
That paradox makes one revulsion-
ist point that local problems vary in а
vast and complex nation and require a

system; local co

o is

through grea

variety of local solutions, rather than a
Federally controlled national program.
At the same time, it suggests how difficult
to get left and right in bed together
ny kind of concerted action.

Mr. Nixon contended in his 1968 cam-
n that there was a “new majority” in
America made up of Southerners, black
militants, liberals (by which he appar
ently meant the New Lelt, rather than
the New Deal variety) and Republicans;
it was founded on revulsion against an
outsized Federal Government, he said,
and could dominate politics, Maybe it
could, numerically: but in winning and
exercising power, Mr, Nixon’s particu
majority—and а marrow one, at that—

has consisted more nearly of what he
calls “the forgoten man” the well-
behaved middle-income suburbanite who

arch, works hard and

The forgotten man
st, all right, but he
Пу wants nothing to do with black
militants and New Leftists, whom he is
likely to call "hippies.

Whatever is happening in our politics
is пос likely to result in ап organized
alliance or coalition between New Left
and radical right, We need not look for
Barry Goldwater and Eugene McCarthy
on the same ticket; the Northern inner
cities and the Southern state capitals are
likely 10 have their differing reasons for
g community school control for
quite a while; and if General LeMay
nd Dr. Spock arc both disgusted with the
war in Vienam, they would not yet agree
on what ought to be done. What is fa
more likely is a glacial but continuing
and significant response in the dominant
«enter to the new pressures from the fi
out wings. That is rhe way pol
change has usually come about in Ame
and both the election of Richard Ni
on and his first year in office suggest that
nothing more drastic is in store ioday

Mr. Nixon can hardly be expected to
ings a stronger lead. Not only
docs he believe, as he roll Theodore H.
White last year, that “this country could
run itself domestically without a Pre
dent; all you need is a competent Cabi-
net to run the country at home. You
need a President for foreign policy.” But
if he did try to take a stronger
leadership line in domestic affairs, it
would inevitably run coumer to the
basic revulsionist notion—on the left as
well as the right—that the Presidency is

Iveady too powerful, too nearly out of
control. On the other hand, the revenu
sharing plan is about as far as any Presi-
dent is likely, any time soon, to go in
diffusing his own powers.

Nor can the political parties make
much of revulsionist politics, except

pays taxes, goes to cl
wants law and ordei
often a revulsion

wa

eve

negatively. The George Wallace brand of
revulsionism, embodied in his American
Independent Party, in fact only weakens
by dividing the [orotten-man. revulsion-
ism of the Nixon Republican Party. And
since the pivotal figure in the Democratic
Party, Fdward Kennedy, is for the mo-
ment eliminated fron il compet
tion, the chances are strong that left-wing
revulsionism will also be splintered. It is
at least an even bet, in fact, that in 1972.
there will be a regular Democratic cand
date—it could well be Hubert Humphrey
апа а fourth party candi
the old, 1968 McCarthy-Robert
Kennedy faction of the pariy. All of
which would guarantee nothing but Mr.
Nixon's reelection.

The best that can be hoped for, oddly
enough, may come in Congress, There,
the disillusionments ol Vietnam already
have combined into a concerted resist-
icc to the Pentagon
Senate—as was demonstrated in the ex
traordinary clos тай:
missile delensesystem vote and in the
con g guerrilla warfare against such
milit "ms as the CA, nucle
riers, chemical warfare myste
ous involvement in Laos. Almost as а
by-product, Congress seems to have got
thel ts teeth on such purely execu
tive and bureaucratic concerns—as they
seemed only yeweiday—a зал refurm
and foreign policy. And one of the land
marks of revulsionist pol
socalled "commitments resolution”—a re.
markable Senate document that attempted
10 establish the doctrine that а President
could not make

nation

te repre
sentin

at least in

ess of the

car

nd our

ational commitment"
to another nation or group of nations
without prior approval of Congress, This
was a direct and astonishing assault on
the citadel of the Presidency

There may be real hope that in the
ight reaction
tralized Government, the liberal estab
lishment the act
fostered by bath, the major development
will be a newly vital and active Congress,
ly fulfilling its historic mission as
both check on and balance against the
Executive branch, If that kind of Con-
gress actually functions in coming years,
Americans need scarcely fear either the
Presidency or the vast Federal burcaucra-
cy spawned by the liberal establishment
in the pos-Depression, post-War years. Tt

lel

and ist

Presidency

ct

m be, therefore, that the politics of
revulsion will have its greatest effect in
this kind of institutional development,

th

n new paries and new
‚ as in the past, a litle
still the most to be hoped
for [rom the American system

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283

PLAYBOY

ZINSMEISTER (continued pan pose 180)

coldest. Sullenly, we lugged our trays
through the murky gloom of the chow
Jine. Two 40-watt yellow bulbs lit the
entire dim bat cave of the mess hall.

“No wonder they don't put no lights
in this joint. If you really could see this
manure they feed us, you'd heave for a
week.” Elkins had given the same speech
every morning since һе had come into
the company months before. He banged
y with his spoon, to give it a l
| accompaniment. The K.P
nd the counter, ladling out burned
neal, lud a
expertly on Elkins fatigue jacke

"Hold yer tray still, you horse's ass.
Yer lucky 1 didn't hit you in the yap.”

Elkins said nothing, moving on to the
next K.P. who was flinging out watery
prunes with abandon.

“I take it, Elkins, that you do not
appreciate this splendid porridge, pre-
pued from the succulent seed of the
noble and ancient oat plant.” Zinsmeis-
ter was always at his best in the mess
hall.

"Cow Hop!” said Elkins a little too
loudly

Banjewski, the mess sergeant. was al-
ways on the alert for signs of discontent
among his clientele. He dealt with their
complaints individually when the indis-
creet customer, as he invariably did,
eventually drew K.P. The louder the
bitch, the crappier the job. "As ус sow,
so shall ye
а religious m
Fortunately for Elkins, he was
morning,
I curied my tray toward the rough
wooden tables, unaware that this was to
be anything but another routine day in
the salt mines, We sit huddled together
—Gasser, Edwards, Zinsmeister, Goldberg,
Elkins and J—shoveling in the oatmeal.

1 must compliment Banjo Butt on his
Luculln bill of fare this morning,” said
Zinsmeister to nobody in particular.

None of us answered. Tt was too carly
in the morning. 1 gulped some of the
suong black coffee that was the best
thing our mess hall ever served апа
washed down a prune pit by mistake. I

nt was

bsent th

heard it rating down through my rib
cage
Yes, indecd, Banjo Butt has the state

“Your mother and I think he's very nice, dear,
but isn't he just a litile bit old?”

of our lower colon always in mind."
Zinsmeister was in "You
will note. men, that oatmeal is a specific
curative for loose bowels. while the hum-
ble prune is highly eflective in dealing
with constipation. Thus, Banjo Butt has
this morning created the perfect panacea
for those suffering [rom stomach dis
tress.”

"Road apples!" muttered Gasser
sürred а handful of prunes into
singed oatmeal, making a murky stew, аз
he did every morn

“AT EASE, YOU GUYS.” Kowalski,
our first sergeant, stood near the door of
the mess hall. He was rarely seen this
ly in the m n the
mes hall. "I SAID AT
DAMN IT, AND WHEN I SAY
EASE, I MEAN TTY"

The hubbub died down to a tomblike
silence. Kowalski haranging us at break-
fast was a new twist and we were instinc-
tively on guard. His green Air Corps
sunglasses glinted as the massive display
of stripes on his sleeve Mashed authorita-
tively
Jeutenant Cherry has instructed me
туз that the first platoon an*
the third platoon, as of twelve-hunnert
tomora afternoon, right aher inspec
tion, will be issued a weekend pass
to cighteen-hunuerc Sunday
a fifty

ıs he
his

ing

AT

just forget it. The rest of the company
will be conhned to the arca as usual, an’
will be given passes next week.”

He turned and was gone, For a few
seconds, wc sat stunned at this totally
unexpected тит of events, There had
been not the slightest hint of a rumor
about pases. A giant wave of sound
roared through the mess hall. A K. P., his

mouth hanging slick in d
mindedly pou
collec on Gasser's nay.

Edwards, sitting opposite me, had
gone ashen. “I told you, 105 Burm:
They always give you a pass before you
get shipped ош. Oh, my God!" His
palsied hand shook badly as he clutched
at his coffee cup.

“Well, PIL be a son of a bitch.
the first time anyone had heard Z
ter use the coarse we th,
for wit among the rest of us.

Goldberg was transformed. All vestiges
of his perpetual lethargy had miraculous
ly disappeared. He sprang upward, knock-
ing over a pitcher of slightly sour skim
k, his eyes glowing. Even his Zeppelin-

isthi ned Hatter. He struggled
10 get over the bench seat and tell heavily
to the floor. He leaped up and headed 10-
ward the door.

Where the hell you
berg?” Gasser called after him

"To the barracks, 1 want to start press-
ing my uniform and everything.

Goldberg's famous sloth was matched

isbelief, absent-

ed a stream of scalding

Tt
ismeis-
passed

Goll-

ing,

ү by his monumental sloppiness. His
very being reeked of ketchup stains, pipe
ashes, swear and general crud. Goldberg
had never once payed an inspection
without at least five gigs. His pipe alone
was a tay, Constantly fermenting, ove
heated litle sewer, spewing out vol
ash and noxious fui iy and night

After breakfast, our barracks hummed
with teme activity, Beds were made and
remade, we swept and dusted, straight-
ened up lockers, did all the thingy we
were supposed to do but usually ignored
We were taking no chances

The morning was spent, since it was
raini n. listening to lectures and
assembling and reassembling the MeL At
noon. we were back in the mess hall
Elkins, a practiced chow hound, who w
always at the head df every line, called
out: "Oh, boy! Salmon loal and. pickled
beers! My favorite!"

h was the first time any of us had
heard Elkins say a good word about GE
food, even in” sarcasm, though he in
variably shoveled in giant qu
everything Banjo Butt set belore us. He
ate like a human vacuum cl
ing his food between bursts of profanity
Around the table, а happy litle clan
the lust platoon laid their plans

“Em gonna grab the first broad I see.
Even if we're in the middle of the street

Gasse: Zinsmeister cut
On ak you were not the
T" d that we all know
you to be. You must remember that you
e speak front of Private Edwards,
who is still growing and unaware of the

here.

would thi

grower things
“Oh, excuse n
e isteni

. Edward
Casers voice dripped
with sarcasm, “By the way, Edwards,” he
continued, “whatre уон gonna do this
weekend?”

Edwards. who had been
morning. looked around the table sol
тшу and finally spoke: "I'm not gonna
ake n om Headquarters
Company told me you gotta have a pass
belore you get shipped overseas. and if
you don't take your pass, they cant ship
you.

“Where the hell did you hear that?
Elk d.

From a guy at battalion headquarters.
AT hve

“Really?” Elkins looked thoughtful.

I forgot you
w

silent all

“Аз for me"—Zinsmeister began (o
speak slowly. alter. portentously clearing
his throat several times to gain our anten-

—" intend te get as far away from
the military as possible, Let us say a
splendid, airy, private room in an ele-
gant hore] and an unasumi

Perhaps a very rare filet w
salad and Roquefort dressing on the
side, a modest yet endearing white wine,
topped off with a cup or two of collee

and û snificr of brandy. I will then stroll.

"Hey, bos

about the town and absorb (he rich
atmosphere of the area, And then I
will enjoy the companionship—platon,

of course —of a vou у”

We sat hacking at the salmon
loaf and dr nsmeister's beauti-
ful words.

"T will then repair. at
hour, to my delightfully ai

m
ех
play soft music, of my own choosin

I shall adjust the temperature 10
y my choice and no one else's. 1 will

I will с

chapters of a good novel
between the snowy sheets. There wil
two of them, one below me and om
above, in sharp contrast to our surround-
ings here in Company K. And then I
will drift off into dreamland. the €
place where w all equal: generals.
Ples. Presidents and kings.
He paused. his eves half closed mul
sipped from his grow GI cup before
ing. Gaser listened with a strange
: Goldberg solemnly chewed his beets,
the look of a man listening 10 а
major religious statement; and Edwards
looked even more worried than usual.
while others pursue the
more obvious pleasures of the flesh over
the weekend, 1 shall at long last enjoy
the luxurious rest, the untroubled sleep
id gradually, E will awak-
en, as the Sundav-morning light filters
through the drawn blinds. 1 will then
1 go back to sleep

stretch, turn over à
for another or maybe three, And
then, for the fist time in many, many
months, I shall arise at a civilized hour,
let us say one rw. D will pick up the

hou

you know the ad we ran [or a ‘hard-
hitting, take-charge, aggressive

sales manager . . .

phoue and call room servi
struc. them to bring me a plate of lightly
based fried eges. The yolk will bc ex-
actly right. not wo soft and yet pleasantly
liquid. Bo will be broken. A hall
doren strips of crisp bacon, some toast
id marni dade. a beaker of collec and 1
shall be ready lor the day. 1 intend to
spend the day. in case you're interested.
enjoying the sights of the town and
in pleasant conversation and.
lor once, doing whatever comes into my

head, with no plan or direction. And
certainly no orders.
He seed back. contentedly, his face

in rey

ose. Tl was the longest discourse
nyone in Company K had eve
heard or delivered—certainly the longest
Without a single four-letter word

You know, Zinsmeister,
beautiful. just beautiful.”
away an imaginary tear
ly with emotion. Zinsmeiste
tellectu
was known to read full-length books th.
contained. no pictures. had said it fo
of ws.

"Don't stop," L urged. Zinsmeister h
gor me where I lived, and T wanted more
of it, He smiled benignly, as he chewed
on a stalk of limp celery

"Very well. Perhaps I r
a concert. They're always nice on
day afternoon, Or 1 шау enjoy a film.
Bur there is one thing | know Lam going
to do He paused, inviting questions.

Gasser obliged him. “Well? Fer Ch
wh:
I'm glad you asked that, Gasser. 1
tend,
GI uniforms.

ET

a
bove all else, 10 avoid the sight of

ly, 1 shall be wearing 285

PLAYBOY

my own, but that cannot be helped. For
what seems Jike ten ycars now, we have

heen surrounded hy a minimum of a
hundred thousand Gls, marching in pla-
toons, in company formations, in battal-

ions, even in divisions. 1 have seen enough
soldiers for le—present company
excepted. of course,"

"Zinsmeister, are you looking for a
buddy on your weekend?” I asked.

“L would be honored if you would
€ to join me at the revels.”

That night, we slept the sleep that
only men who are getting out of camp
the next day for the first time since they
were drafted can sleep.

Before d. like a swarm of dement-
Cd ants, we crawled for the third time
over every inch of the barracks on hands
and knees, rubbing and polishing things.
that were never meant to be rubbed and
polished. Even Goldberg toiled over his
bunk and footlocker with the care and
concentration of a man who is going for
the one big chance. His wife, Marsha,
was meeting him in town. He was the
only one in the company known to be
married, which kind of set him apart
from the rest of us.

“Goldberg,” said Gasser, “if you get
this barracks gigged, | personally will
make cole slaw out of you!

‘Thanks to his natural shiftincss,
ser never got gigged. Goldberg didn't
iswer but continued to arrange his
rolled-up socks and underwear in the top
tray uf his fovilockc sanie inen
sity. Goldberg didn't use the system of
ГооПосћег flimflam that most of us did.
Like everything else in the Army, there
жаз a precise way to arrange every item
of equipment in the lootlocker. The
field manual had diagrams ti showed
to the fraction of an inch how the tray
should be laid out.

Company K still bore the scars of one
totally idiotic inspection, where the exec-
utive ollicer, опе Lieutenant Wheeler B.
Snively, a hatchet-faced zealot with bad
skin, who had gone on to get his own
company as a result of his skill at harass-
ment, had measured the distance Бе
Tween every rolled sock, toothbrush and
comb in every footlocker one black Sat-
urday morning. While the company stood
at stiff attention, the gigs piled up to
astronomical totals. Sergeant Kowalski fol
lowed behind him, keeping score on his
clipboard, gopher eyes gleaming in pleas
ure from behind his green sunglasses.

After completing his meticulous le
bors, Suively walked to the door of the
arracks, turned and, in a soft voice, said
simply, "Of course, you realize that takes
care of any leaves or passes for the next
month at least.’

We never forgot it. Since that time,
most of us had bought a second set of
underwear, socks and so forth, and glued
them carefully in position on the top

a

wide

285 tray of our footlockers, never to be used

except for display purposes. The other
set was kept їп our barracks bags and
used the way God intended.

Goldberg was now measu
ly rolled underwear with m
ion. Propped up beside him was a field
nual, Zinsmeis 'efully brushed
0. d. blouse. For the third time, 1 made
my bed, stretching the blanket as taut as
a trampolinc.

By noon, Company K was ready—as
ready as it would ever be. We milled
stiffly around in the barracks, afraid to
sit because of the creases, which were
razor sharp, afraid to smoke because of
the stray ash and rapidly going into a
state known 10 medical circles as pre-
inspection shock. This is characterized by
ап ashen color, marked melancholia and
extreme paranoia, in which the victim is
convinced that unseen forces arc. about
to attack him. The sequence of events
that followed is recorded forever on the
clipboard of my memory:

12:05: Door at far end of barracks
s open against foot of bunk. Kowalski,
dress uniform. shouts: "ATTEN-
Instantly, barracks galvanized.
Licutenant Cherry follows Kowalski in-
. Carries pair of white gloves in left
ign. 1 stand at attention,
eyes front, gut pushing against backbone.

12:08: Insane itch begi between,
shoulder blades. Haven't itched for a
month. Why now? Kowalski and Lieu-
tenant Cherry at far end of barracks.

12:09: Barracks so quiet сап hear my
own heart beating. Am 1 having heart
attack? They are getting closer. Lieuten-
ant Cherry says nothing, Looks mean

12:13: Kowalski. pencil realy, holds
clipboard high, eager ro gig. Goldberg
stands rigid directly opposite me. Notice
sweat dripping olf his nose. Seems 10
ve stopped breathing, Possibly dead?
Gasser to lelt of Goldberg.
Keeps swallowing, causing tie to move
up and down. Terrible itch starting on
my left kneecap. Feels like something
crawling up my leg inside pants.

12:18: Desire to scratch irresistible.
What is crawling up leg? Do I have
crabs?

12:19: C. O. stops before Goldberg. Ko-
walski licks pencil. Lieutenant silent.
lares at Goldberg's shoes. Works up to
Goldberg's belt. buckle. First ume ever
shined. Lieutenant examines each button
on Goldberg's shirt, Goldberg turning
gre

12:23: Lieutenant carefully examines

Goldberg's chins. Goldberg shaved three
nes this A.M. Still bleeding.
12:28: Kowalski disappointed. Also as-
tounded. Goldberg not gigged. My turn.
Lieutenant smiles slightly. Very danger-
ous sign. Can he sce crabs? Entire body
itching. Bottoms of fect burning. Am
feeling faint.

12:32: Lieutenant and Kowalski move
on. I have escaped?

12:36: Lieutenant standing on foot-

g his tight-

ha

locker, checking top of window [rame
with white gloves. Nothin

12:37: Kowalski looks in
Yrowns Nothing.

12:41; Lieutenant abruptly opens door,
stalks out. Kowalski stands in doorway,
pauses, says tonclessly, “At case. Pick up
Yer passes at the orderly room alter chow.”
Leaves.

1 Goldberg falls sideways onto
floor. Barracks in uproar. We've made it!

Quick, get some water!” Gasser bent
over the crumpled form lying on the
floor next to Goldberg's bed. Goldberg s
mouth was working like a bullh.
of water, in short gurgling gasps.
No gigs .

butt can,

se even

Gaser, with large dramatic sweeping
motions, fanned him with a GI towel.
Edwards and Elkins led the rest of the
barracks in a brief cheer for Goldberg's
miraculous deliverance, Our company
slob had come through.

Half an hour after chow,
I, passes tucked carefully in our
leis, Dopp-Kits clutched in hand,
spirits soaring beyond all known heights,
headed for the number-two PX, where
the bus left for town, It was a good
long walk, since the numbertwo PX
was in a foreign part of the camp, far
removed from Company K's ghetto. We
passed row on row of white barracks
with мтап е battalion ensigns. Mile after

mile we trudged, amid a growing throng
of ‚ зарру u wd GIs.
We passed an elegant row of officers’

barracks, resembling closely a middle-
class retirement community somewhere
down in Florida. Compared with our
barracks—stirk, grim and functional—
these buildings glowed with a dignificd,
opulent splendor.

“I hear they have individual stalls in
the latrine,” I said confidentially.

“Reall, Zinsmeister looked toward
the B. O. Q. with respect.

"With doors that close

“Where'd you hear th:

"1 dunno. I just heard it around,"

We continued past an enormous post
theater, rounded a corner and got our
first setback of the day.

"Holy Christ!" I gasped, Zinsmeister
said nothing, just took a deep breath
and straightened his tie.

A closely packed line three abreast
wound itself several times around thc
number-two PX and continued down the
gravel road. disappearing behind a chap-
el. It did not appear to be moving. Even
as we watched, a couple hundred more
Gls converged on the line. A sign in the
orange-and-white colors of the Signal
Corps read:

r

BUS TO TOWN DEPARTS FVERY 30 MIN-
UTES FROM THIS POINT, FORM ORDERLY
LINE.

PROVOST MARSHAL

We fell in with the rest of the waiting
horde, so far back in the line that the

PX had disappeared from view. The
camp had one bus stop and this was it-
There w town that the bus went
to. There were other towns n the
50 mile radius, of course, but to get to
them, you had to go to this one first.
1t was now 1:45. By four rt, we had.
progressed to within M-A range of the
chapel By six, we had sighted the PX
itself. Night had almost fallen and the
barracks around us were beginning to
show squares of yellow light. Zinsmeister,
L been uncharactcristically silent
Tor the last couple of hours, shifted from
foot as we waited. Filty leer
the line, Goldberg looked as
d anxious as a fat man can
ins and Dye, some 15 yards
nd us were а tiny knot of sardonic
айу. It was dose to 8:30 when Zins
cr and J hnally climbed stiffly up the
steps of the rusty ratiletrap and began
the dark journey through the Ozarkian
wilderness toward the promised land.
Once inside the bus, our spirits
zoomed. After all, an eight hour wait is a
small enough price to рау lor consum-
mate bles amd exape from everything
the Army sood for. In the darkened
bus, the weekend had already well be
gun. The heavy pungence of contraband
whiskey scented the close ai
Zinsmeisier muttered quietly to me,
When we get to town, we'll get as Far
away from all this sull as we can.”
When we had arrived at the camp
months before, hate one grim win-
we had seen a few street lights
m the muddy mooptrain win-
dow and that was all. outside the
buy window, a few gas stations showed
up, a few dark houses and a street light
or two. The bus rattled on and then,
suddenly, we were there.
WRIGHT, YOU
MOVE OUT. 1 AIN'T GOT NO TIME
TO WAST ‘The bus driver slammed
open the door and the unruly mob
charged out into the street, We were
free! We were back in real life.
rà few moments, the bright lights,
the noise, the movement stunned us. Like
pale fish from an underground river, we
Кей confnsedly in the unaccustomed
months, cars had
y the sound of distant bugles
ib rumbling Бааска. We
о ice by the roar of Satur-
ıt in town. We stood before the
n, looking up the main dra

а signs—red, yellow, blue and green

loot to
ahead in
drawn

in town fr

Vo

GUYS. LETS

cw. For our

were

ni
мап

d electronic fu
Is of the low,
the

wwled like som
up and down the w.
buildings that hemmed in
а stem. The sidewalks were jammed
from curb. to doorway with а moiling,
wild-eyed throng of GIs on pas They
eddied ro and fro like a pack of anxious
fling for scraps. A рай of

grels sı

MPs, their white helmets glowing scarlet
m reflected i
nt of the dilapidated bus station.

‘mon, move on, you guys. Keep

neon, strode along in

mov
The shorter of the two, a buck ser-
geant, Wicked his billy at Zinsmeister’s
ibs. His partner, glancing at the
on my arm, said, “Lemme see yer p
sol A
We weren't in town five minutes and
already we were on the ropes. We dug
out our pases and waited obsequiously
while the sergeant pored over them in
the glare of the neon sign behind us that
read i-vr. 1 noticed that his lips moved as
he read.
“Look, AL" he said scornfully to his
are from one a
radar companies.”
d loudly “Godda
insmeistar shifted. slightly

ch

ss

them fucki
M sno

ın fairies.”
He had
champion

Ten

imm

before Company K glommed omo him.
The sergeant tapped me on the chest
with his billy.

"Look, buster, when yer in this town.
yer gonna act like real sol'jers. We don't
want no trouble Irom you.” He tapped
harder, rauling my dog tags against шу
chest, “You play ball with us an’ we'll
play ball with you. Y' unnerstand?

1 understood. all wo

Now, get mov
We turned to ax
Up said, MOVE!"
He swatted Zinsmeister on the rump

with his club. Zinsmeister grunted in

surprise.
"What was that, sol
li was Al this time, his MP arm band
bright and sharp under the lights from

the s
“Nothing. sir. T mean corporal,” said
Zin tant, Al

meister Папу. For a long

“This should make an amusing footnote
Jor my biographers!”

287

looked into Zinsmeister's eyes, waiting
Tor a false mox
"You heard what the sergeant said

MOVE!"

We did, as though on eggs. The week-
end was truly under way.

Ahead of us, three soldiers linked arm
in arm wove from side to side, yelling
discordantly a song about the sexual
prowess and total availability of some-
body named Gertie. It had a rather
catchy tune and it was а new one to mc.
I always liked good music. Flexing their
billy clubs, the MPs moved in for the
kill

In the gloom above the storefronts,
pale faces looked out on the stream of
revelers, We had. proceeded several yards
into the throng when Zinsmeister pulled
me into а doorway.
“Let's look for a place to stay before it
gets too late."

A tech sergeant, wearing the patches
ol the Army Ground Forces and an infa-
mous armored division on his torn shirt,
crawled. past our doorway, whistling soft-
ly to himself. We watched him struggle
by. shoclaces trailing in the dust.

"We gotta ask somebody,” 1 said, for
want of anything better to say.

Zinsmcister thought that over.
you're right. There
ткі hotels in town
We plunged back imo the uproar,
edging а mob of enlisted men who were
cheering on a fisiight between two hulk-
ing WAGs, who swore steatlily as they
Hailed away at each other

Аз far as the eye could sec on cithe
side of the street. there were nothing but
bars and Army supply stores selling
ple Hearts, good-conduet ribbons
flyspecked suntan uniforms. We paused
ler a gigantic green-and-orange llick-
g pineapple wreathed with the words
OWIE'S HAWAMAN BAMBOO JUNGLE INN.
‘The sound of twanging guitars and rau-
merriment rolled out of the portals,
which were encrusted with plastic. bam-
boo leaves and orchids.

“Hey. Zins, this looks 1

a

PLAYBOY

I guess
must be a couple of

cou

e a great

Lets go

P

Zinsmeister hesitated for à. moment, a
he peered upward at the buzzing pine-
pple. The guitars rose in volume: i high
pitched feminine laugh. rode the crest ot
the wave. AW another

hout word, the

two of us headed into the most notorious

alle.

clip joint this side of the Place 1
"Well, you just come sight in, boys,
id join the fun. Pm Howie;
A short, beetle-browed citizen. d

essed

jı а threadbare tuxedo herded us into
the heady darkness of the Jungle Inn. At

were
Gls
alter

the ome, we didu't re
on historic ground, "Thousands of
before us and. countless who came
were to be plucked as clean
urkeys, with rounding
that was later to become legend. Wher-

ggg ever Signal Corps men w

an Поп пее

re to meet in

the years after, the Hawaiian Jungle Inn
provided the subject for countless stories
of vice and chicanery. Fach booth bore
the carved. mementos of. nameless multi
tudes of victims who had fluttered like
doomed moths imo the bright flame of
Howie's bamboo trap.

The beams from orange, yellow and
amber spotlights revolved constantly on
the walls and ceiling. creating а реси
hypnotic effect as the smoke and the din
rose in waves to the [ike-thatched ceil
The booths, encased with thick
bamboo ¿md rustling vines, partially con
ccaled the debauchees from public view.
Waitresses dripping sweat hurled them-
selves through the rosy darkness carrying

h above their heads. They wore
an grass skins below rubbery
on the ир of cach pendulous
breast. over a strip of junglecolored +
а gaudy paper poinsettia:
r piled һай was owning
ийса!

the
touch—a teetering still lile of
bananas and grapes. At the far end of the

cave, four musicians squatted on bamboo
ools, playing Hawaiian guitars, their
flowered shirts soaking with sweat as they
struggled in vain to be heard above the
tumult. They looked Italian 10 me, but
І suppose on а * ight in rural
Missouri, it's any Hawaiian in a storm.

We were shoved into a booth that was
already occupied by three other Gls.

"You fellas won't mind movin’ over
nd makin’ room for a couple of thirsty
Dboys, will ya
Howie really believed he spoke the
nguage of the Gl. For a moment, I
couldn't see a thing, the booth was so
diuk. But P began tw pick ош details
alter my eyes had got used ro the gloom
A corporal, his head ying peacefully on
the table, slept soundly in a puddle of
be His two friends, a Plc. and another
corporal, argued over the check

“Hiya, boys. Whatll it be?”

We looked up into the moon face of
our waitress, her brasscolored hair thick
with lacquer and gleaming like wire, her
dy moist scarlet. her drooping
h streaky eye shadow.
Meeting instant, I thought ГА re-
of his modest ver en
ing white wine, but 1 figured it was
a little early in the evening for
bitterness.

"How's about a spec

lips a ga
eyes rimmed w
For

alty dee 1а

zon
The corporal, asleep in rhe beer, h:
begun to snore insistently, blowing up a

light froth of foam. His friends contin
ued lo check and doublecheck the
figures on the bill, using a stubby pencil.

“Is that a French drink?” I asked the
ister snort in the

^s Aloha Hoki-

Loki Ju
“Whats in it?

le Juice Blaster."

"Don't a

k questions. Take it from me,

works. We ойу allow two to a custom-
She lecred at us пи"
Let us throw. саш
siid Zinsmeister nonc
two, my good woman."
Y won't regret it

er

эп to the winds.”
апу. "Bring us

The waitress scurried off, her grass
skirt rustling loudly. For a moment, we
sat together, saying nothing, watching
the corporal slowly drowning in his be

Finally, Zinsmeister spoke to the Pfc,
who seemed to be almost sober.

“Excuse me, but are there any good
hotels in rown?”

The Pfc. looked blankly at Zinsmeister
for a moment, his cap on the back of his
head. Then, belligerendy: “What'd you
say, Jack?
T suid, are there

y good. hotels in

Zinsmeister spoke slowly, in а loud
voice, as though to a deaf person. The
Pic's eyes narrowed as he half ие from
his scat and leaned toward Zinsmeister,
breathing heavily in his face.

You puttin’ me on, fuckhead?”
Zinsmeister said nothing. He just sat
and peered at the Pfe’s nose, which was
inches away from his, As the Hawai
guitas swung into Sweet Leilani, Zins
meister and the Ple. remained nove
nose for what seemed minute

Finally, Zinsmeister said in a low, even
voite, "Mack, аге you looking to get
your ass busted

There was something in Zinsmeister's
voice that told the Pfc. hc had pushed it

т enough. He sat down heavily, kicking
the corporal, who drowsily beg:
‘The other corporal heaved hims
feet.

Let's clear out of this joint."

They both grabbed their beersoaked
buddy by the arms and dragged him
from the booth
Here they are, boys. Two ice-cold
Aloha Blisters”

The waitress, with a practiced hand,
lowered a tray to our table. Two colossal
creations lit up the surrounding dark
ness. The drinks, which cime
wooden pineapples, were fully a foot
Ш. Sliced oranges, lemons and grape
fruit protruded fom the top. amid a
mound of crushed ice. A huge purple
swizzle stick with a plastic bird of para-
dise stuck out at a jaunty angle, and
two three-inch Japanese paper umbreli
topped it all off.

Drink "em slow. boys. They're

to sing
If to hi:

n painted

the waitress advised, and left us alone
with our joy.
One of the Halin Hawaiians was

S imo a microphone festooned
ficial orchids. The ringing feed
blended. i: with the
g guitars. | sipped my Aloha Blast
er through its red, white a
split second, 1 was conscious only
n icy fluid in my mouth. I sloshed
round over and under my tongue,

back
капай

PLAYBOY

savoring its coolness. It had been along, were ringing slightly, 1 let Zinsmeister — "Uh. .
hard night, and I was dry. I sipped answer for both of us. asked weakly.
nother mouthful and then became con- “Uh... no, 1 believe that'll be all.” “Well. let's see
scious of а spreading furriness. My tongue “OK. You're the doctor.” She smiled Aloha Blasters—ei

nd gums seemed ло have become incased broadly and slapped down a piece of cover cach
n some kind of fuzzy felt, Tentatively, I paper. "Here's the check. boys. cha

how do you figu

sipped another drag through the straw. I leaned forward. So did Zinsmeister. 8) a у

Again, the liquid was tasteless, cold and — Magically, іп а single stroke, we were Posi юй шеше н SENE
paralyzing. both stone-cold sober. Eighteen dollars? company К had been 1 the week
D before. After laundry, the company fund,

“Zinsmeister . . ” T said with difficulty, xcuse me, but there must be some
since my tongue seemed to have swollen mistake. You gave us somebody clse's

the cleaners, GI insurance, a War Bond
yment, а statement of charges for two

to the size of a small salami. He sit check.” Zinsmeiser smiled politely. аца and a cup 1 had broken on K. P.
hunched ox drink. I noticed that “Oh? Fm sorry, boys" said the waite qy total pay for three months of slavery
his cycs were watering. ress cheerfully, scooping up the check had come to 551.73. Zinsmeister, because

"Yeah?" he answered finally. nd peering at it under a revolving Or ре was a Pfc, got four dollars more. In

I continued: "Do you have amy idea ental lantern.
what Novocain tastes like? ure enough. You're right.”
He laughed a weak, hollow laugh. She erased and rewrote the check.
ot until now.” Zinsmeister smiled with satisfaction, nude- ice from our wallets, We counted out
We sucked at our straws. 1 looked ing me in the ribs and whispering imo — Qu; change to make up the extra buck,
down imo the icy concoction, my eyes my left car: “rima r Ыс с
focusing on a bobbing lemon rind. The “You've really got to watch them in = We make à special tine of Gl

one chomping bite. Howie and his Aloha
Blasters had grabbed about thice weeks’
pay. Silently, we extracted ten. dollars

have ya

nese umbrellas scratched my fore- places like this, here at the Bamboo Inn. You just come
head as 1 doggedly drank on, feeling the “Here you are, boys" Again she around any time.”
numbness move down to my larynx and slapped down the check As we struggled out of the booth,

then slowly into the thoi

мех were being,

"E forgot to add the service charge. three new fresh-faced pri
“Well, boys, ready for another?" The Thanks for tell bout it.” escorted to our place by Howie, No
ess was back, peering sardonically Together, we peered bleakly at the wonder he became known to generation
down at her two victims. Since my cars Dill. Now it was 2/ smackers. ol 1 Corps men as The Grim Reaper.
Back on the street, onr education now
well under way, two older and waricr
Gls fell in with the by.nowroaring mob.
the half hour we had spent iu
n Bamboo Inn, more
busloads had arrived, not only from our
camp but from others for miles around.
Medics, infantrymen and engineers min-
gled in one vast river of unilorms.
icy. Zinsmeister, look! A girl!” I
grabbed his elbow excitedly.
Ahead, a girl, wasp waisted
Deamed, w high spiked shoes, her
hair sending off rays of platinum light
from the reflected neon, sashayed dow!
the sidewalk. Hundreds of Gls followed
her every movement with their eyes, as

me

w

ul broad.

she undulated along the concrete. It wa
the fast actual girl we had seen in over
three months—barring, of course, the
fruittopped waitresses at Howie's, the
bulldyke WACs we'd seen slu it
cout down the block and the two sexless

s who worked

п the PX.
i said Zins-

meister with resignation,

Then I saw what he meant. Beside
her, casually holding her arm, was a
razor-creased lieutenant, his golden b
gleming arrogantly. The only know
gil in town had been grabbed off by an
officer, Naturally, His elegant tailored
uniform contrasted sharply with ou
sacklike Government Issue shirts and
blouses, our clumpy GI shoes, our rope-
like ties, our tinny brass,

Ahead, next to the Victory Bar, a si
swung in the shadow of a neon Ameri-

“It's been pretty hectic—pompon
girl to sorority pledge to political activist to can flag emblazoned with a huge red V
dropout all in one semester.” and the word sooze. The Victory Bar

5 at least honest about what it sold,
‘There's the 0.5.0. Lets ask ‘em
where we can stay." Zinsmeister drove
rd through the crowd.

The U,$.0., an expoolroom, was
packed from wall to wall with sullen
yardbirds. The faint aroma of pool chalk
and old spittoons still lingered on. Be-

coffee from an urn
en doughnuts, A bulletin board on the
wall was plastered with announcements
of the gala events available to GI

YOUNG
FIRST BAP

PEOPLE'S
IST CHURCH.

PRAYER MEETINI
ALL INVITED,

COMMUNITY SING
VOLUNTEER AID SOCIETY SPONSORIN(
GUEST SPEAKER: REVEREND W. D. BEAN-
BLOSSOM.

“Excuse me, lady, but what's the best
hotel in toi nsmeister spoke up
respectfully over the din

“Tuna salad's all we've got, sonm
short lady with blue hair, she flashed her
store teeth brightly, eyes twinkling be-
hind her bifocals. She shoved a plate of
andwiches toward us as the mob surged
round the coffee urn.

"No, thank you, ma'am. Id like to
know where we can rent a bed.

"The sound level went up ten decibels
аз a redheaded staff sergeant gave a
hotfoot to a fat Pfc. who was try
write a letter.

“What's that, sonny? You say

you
want to go to bed? Emily, call Joe from
the back. Here's another one of them bad
ones.”

The second lady, her teeth clattering
iythmically, piped up.
Flora's old enough to be your moth-
cr! Aren't you ashamed?" Zinsmcisicr
faded into the crowd. I followed
what the hell would we do?
“We gotta get a place to s
with a note of desperation.
“OK, you uy it. But watch. ont for

Now

ggled back to the counter.

“Is there а hotel in town?" I shouted
at Emily.

"Sure, sonny. Try the Chateau Ele-
gante Arms.” From beneath the counter,
she whipped out a purple-and-red post-
card picturing the hotel lobby.

ure looks like a nice place. Thanks
very much.

"Don't men

she said with what
a sinister smile.
after we had bat-
Ued our way several blocks along Main
Swreet past two shooting galleries, a ta
too parlor, three bowling alleys, 37 bars
and a used-car lot, we stood in the lobby
of the Chiteau Elegante Arms. Right
away, it was obvious that the picture on
the postcard had been taken on the
occasion of Diamond Jim Brady's visit
when he and Lillian Russell stopped off

on their way to the opening of the West.
A half-doren potted palms, strategically
placed to conceal the holes in the carpet,

somber gloom over the cracked
tile floor. The ghosts of countless travel-
ing drummers drifted through the murky
haze beneath the tarnished brass Gothic
undelier that hung from the fly-spotted
It was crowded with soldiers
g and going, aud men in shiny
black suits carrying cardboard suitcases.
acister whispered to me as we waited
at the registration desk behind
pale Episcopal minister and two red-
faced Gls.

“It looks like we'll be lucky
place here. I'd better handle i

"An' naow, whut kin ah do fer yew
boys" The clerk, a jug-eared specimen
in a stained vest and wearing a huge
yellow elk's tooth, shufled papers and
talked without looking at us.
fy good man, we would like an
room with a western exposure. Double
beds and a bath with shower.”

The old Zinsmeister s back in the
saddle, his fastidious delivery command-
ing instant respect. The clerk hesitated,
опе eye quickly taking in the two of us.

“Well, naow, it sure is a pleasure to
talk to men who know whut they want
n a good hotel.”

He cleared his throat juicily, hawked
twice and shoved a registration card to-
ward us, His voice lowered to a conspira-
torial tone.

“Ah kin tell yew boys ain't the ordi
nary run a’ GI. Аһ got a son in the
Army mahself. Yer in luck. It so happens
ah do have a double left. Been savin’ it
fer a colonel who just called in cancelin*
his reservation.”

Zinsmeister nudged me while the clerk
hunted for a pen. We'd hit the jack pot.

“That'll be seven bucks apiece. In
advance, Ah'm givin’ yew the Armed

to get a

Forces discount.” We both coughed up
seven dollars.

“1 believe, sir, we'll go out and have a
bite to eat and perhaps take in a show
before we turn in for а good night's
rest." Zinsmeister pocketed the key. Now
we had a place to sleep. Things were
looking up.

“By the way, sir, would you recom-
mend a good restaurant?"

"Well, naow, whut're yew hankerin’ fer
in the way a’ eats?” The clerk, his heavy
jowls oscillating as he spoke, was obvious-
ly a тап who knew eats. Zinsmeister
gazed rapturously at the brass chandelier
his face ht with an inner light.

^] sce a succulent porterhouse sizzling
оп a pewter plate. Perhaps an inch and
a half thick. Charred properly
With just the suggestion of garl
paused thoughtfully, then added,
yes. And petits pois with bay leaf. Do
you have a suggestion, sir?”

The clerk shifted his cud of tobacco
and squinted at Zinsmeister.

“Well, naow, ah would recommend the
Blue Moon Diner. Down at the enda the
street. Next to the [eed store.”

“The Blue Moon Diner?" Zi
ter's voice rose dubiously.

Yep. Yew damn betcha! Best hash
house in town. Yew tell ‘em ol’ Luke
sent cha."

Since the line was getting long behind
he indicated (hat the interview
over. Without a word. Zinsmeister
plunged across the lobby toward the
street. He seemed almost frenzied We
struggled through the mob, past а long
line of silent soldiers who stood patiently
before a darkened doorway, Zinsmeister
moving like a halfback, picking up speed
as he went. I struggled to keep up with
him. Alter months of Company K mess
hall chow, at last, by God at last, no
matter what the cost, we would have

meis-

291

PLAYBOY

292

one real and. rue meal, and then they
ald do what they wanted with us
feed us into the cannon,

Face flushed, perspiring hea
meister muttered to himself as he
Yo, T think FI make it a filet mignon.
Yes, yes, a filet! Center cut

Above us, the neon lights unreeled
dizzily: ni ED'S BAR, JESUS SAVES, BEER, ACE
ARMY-NAVY sToRE—blue, red, green, vel-
low, in a kaleidoscopic blur. MPs, Gls,
hound-dogs spun past us as we galloped
toward our rendezvous w

We skidded to а stop.
glint of brass twinkled in ihe ni
Te was the clean-cut lieutenant in his
natty pinks, with the only actual girl we
had seen in town still on his arm. In-
Minctively, in snappy unison, we both
saluted. We were taking no chances. The
lieutenant threw a casual. highball with
the studied insolence of the true aristo-
cra. The girl, her baby-blue eyes send
ing out waves of worship at her hero,
noticed us for the first time,

You men enjoying yourselves?” he
asked. with û faint smile playing over his
chiseled features.

“Yessir!” we barked.

“That's good. I'm
see the men enjoy them:

зей to
their

own

The girl's blue eyes scanned. us both
coldly, из one would scrutinize a particu-
у noxious breed of reptile
wk vou, sir!"
ighten that tie, sol
came into his eyes.

“Yes, sir!"

We both straightened our ties The

girl's comllower blue eyes grew colder by
the second. We weren't reptiles anymo,
we had turned into insects.
Proceed, men. And try to stay out of
trouble.” This last was delivered with
the inflection of one instructing a two-
year-old that it’s time for potty.

“Good night, sir! And thank you, sir!"
we belied out in perfect syuchronization.
nd Blue Eyes strolled

т” The steel

As they receded, 1 heard hi
You've got to watch them evi
"They're like children. y

The musical lili of laughter from the
Ozarks fairest flower was the List we
heard from them.

А few steps fayther and we were there.
А crescent of flickering blue neon lit
up the cracked sidewalk before us. A
red-neon arrow jerked up and down, up
1 down, pointing at a bull'seye out-
lining the magic words: rr: EAT!
The heavy thud of a jukebox. pouring
out of the pitted stainless-steel sides of the
Blue Moon Diner jarred the fillings in
teeth. Zinsmeister stood quietly, gaz-
ng up at the bluencon moon. as hunger
ngs guawed deep into my being. We
In't eaten since noon, Then, taking

a deep breath, Zinsmeister pushed in
through the swinging doors.

A powerful swamp gas of wet card-
board, French fries, fermenting di
busy urinals and sputtering юге:
over us like lukewarm bath water, A row
of burly forms, some in uniform. others
ng the jackets of cross-country
truckers, bent low over chipped blue
crockery. shoveling steadily. The booths
ed.

low
ever upward through fuchsia glass tubes
encrusted with trumpets, roared out an
unimelligible wall of thrumming sound.

We sat on the only two empty stools
at the counter. The guy behind it, his
white cap fingerprinted with ketchup,
shoved a menu across the counter at us.

After scanning it with a mixture of
revulsion and resignation, Zinsm
aid quietly, “A cheeseburger, please.
“Y want onions?"

No. thank you."
“Somepin’ w drink?”
colle.

“How ‘bout you, bub?”

“PH have the same.”

We sat numbly, listening to the juke-
box. A brief scuffle broke out in one of
the booths. The cook banged a length of
rubber hose on the pie case.

“Shuddup, you bastards, or II knock
а few heads!”

The cheeseburgers arrived, The cook
shoved two cups of coffee at us. 1 peeked
under my bun. Nothing, 1 rolled it back
farther. Still nothing. Ah, there it w:
tiny, wizened pastille of charred ma
dabbed with orange cheese. Zinsmei
didn't even look at his, Silently, we ate
the buns, then washed them down with
colfee.

“Any dessert?" asked the cook, who
was running the entire diner. 1 glanced
at the pie cas, Two cracked, petrified
slabs of rubbery yellow pie and one dish
of watery purple JALO was all they had.
I guess not," T answered.

Zinsmeister said nothing. The cook
ripped out a check from his dog eared
book and put it in front of Zinsmeister
A buck filty for each cheeseburger, 2
cents for the coffee. We paid and headed
for the door, just as another fight broke
ош. The rubber hose slapped down hard
on the counter

We were on the street again
car screameul past, its red lights 1
heading to some spot where the action
was heating up. We stood under а street
lit for a couple of minutes, just look.
ng around at nothing in particular,
ing Irom foot to foot, occasional
pulls of poisonous е ion from the
burger drifting up from my mouth
to my nostrils. The usual misty rain
began to descend,

Finally, I spoke: “Listen, I got an
idea.”

Zinsmeister lit a cig
“Please reveal it to n

“How ‘bout taking in a movie? Some-
thing with a Jot of big fat jiggling
boobs.”

“Not a bad idea. Not a bad idea at
all" For the first time since our mise
able bus ride, Zinsmeister began to perk
up. "Аһ, the cinema. How it moves us,
uplifts us, raises our hopes, The one-

d said,

ly boy, you are
nobly upholding the splendid cultural
ition of Company K.

do you mean by that?” Vaguely,
needle.

let us away to the flickering
land of the shadow pla
meister was back in charg
passing mative dad in wom Big Y:
overalls, red bandanna, rubber boots
vacant look

"Excuse me, sir.”

"Huh?"

"Could you tell me the location ot the
movichouses here in town?”

The red-faced rustic, almost а dead
ringer for Slim Summerville, only not as
Tunny, shot a thin stream of tobacco
juice at our feet.

“Ah don't cotton to sin.”

"Sin?" Zinsmeister was caught off
guard.
“Yup. Shameless wimmen an’ unbri-

dled lust are the damnation of the
evildoer.” His voice rose to а quavery
fortissimo, the evangelical zeal of a v
eran Bible thumper ringing dear and
true. He stopped and shifted his cud to

the other side of his adenoidal Lace, tak-
ing a deep breath to launch another
broadside,

“1 agree.” Zinsm “1 would
like to know where the movichouses are
in town, so that 1 can take this young
soldier here, who could easily stray into
paths of unrighteousness. 1 wish to
show him the fleshpots to be avoided.”
This was a new side of Zinsmeister 1

ad not suspected. He spoke the native's

languag
‘Well, now, that's diferent. He does
have the look of one about (o fall.

There's only one Hollywood vice den in
town: the Bijou Theeayter. It’s around
River Sater ks past Main
an' turn lelt ac th d
Sod bless yo insmeister
smiled. piously in the yellow street light,
the misty rain adding a softfocus rc
iosity to his profile.

“May the Lord keep you, too. Amen,
brother." The native spat expertly and.
clumped away,

We rounded the comer onto River
Street. Zinsmcister slammed on the brakes.
А long line of GIs stretched before us for
а block and a half at east. At its head,

two h
firchou:
brother,"

on

“Well, if its not having snow at Christmas, Mr. Jensen,
g t i
just what do you miss?”

293

in the distance, the
Theater. glowed whitcl
make out the lettering.

“It says, See... something.
ed harder. "See Here... uh.
still . Here ..

quee of the Bijou
1 squinted to

1 squint
And

Private

rder.
something.
OH, NO!
Zinsmeiser, an avid cinema bulf,
э and outrage
Private Hurgros

PLAYBOY

bel-

Oh,

He sat down on the curb, his feet
amid the beer cans and cigar butts that
Jiuered the street, and buried his head
hands, just the way John Barry

mo s did in moments ol distress.
He lently for a moment, his
body racked with theatrical sobs.

‘See... Here... Private Fuckin’

Hargrove! What the hell next
ounding his fist on the curb, he
threw his head back and laughed a hot.
low, braying Laugh.

The Blue Moon Diner . . , the Châ-
Private Hargrove
waiian Jungle Inn, Christ

have I done to deserve

“AWRIGHT, BUDDY, ON YER

FEET. WE DONT WAI NO

DRUNKS CLUTTERIN' UP THE
STREET."

The wo MPs had materialized out of
. One of them kicked Zin
in the rump.

t up. you slob. Yer disgrae
uniform.

the

Zinsmeister stood. а Dit of dog dung
clinging w his posterior. He brushed
himsell olf, discovering that the dog

dung wasn't as old as he thought.

"Straighten up, you drunken son of à
bitch," the sergeant snapped. thwacking
his night stick smartly across Zinsmeister's
stomach. His white MP helmet glistencd
in the rain, his 45 Service automatic
resting low on the hip.

"Um not

SNAP TO, SOLDIER!
when I tell you to!”

Zinsmeister stood as much a
as he could.

“And you, wipe that grin oil
Mack!" The sergeant, moving like
bra, caught me totally off guard

THWUNK!

Youll talk

A seething bubble of nausea roared up
from down around my groin. a
moment, it felt like a grapefruit was

loose in my chest. My tongue shot out of
my mouth: my eyeballs seemed to push
up at the top of my head.

"Get ош the book, AL"

The sergeant sid his long wooden
billy buck into the leather holder on hi
webbed belt.

“Awright—name, se
company. And if you g
mes, ГИ really have

294 shit.

al number and
ve me horseshit

рр”

you sn

Between gasps, we wld him.
The sergeants rich vocabulary had
wht the attention of a strolling cou-
ple, who paused to watch our humilia-
Out of the corner of my eye, which
was just beginning to refocus, 1 saw that
it was the sharp lieutenant and Baby
Bluceyes. The lieutenant, after accept-
ing the salutes of the MPs, said quietly

“These men have been causing trouble
all night, sergeant. Ive had my сус on
them.”

Yes,

The sergeant saluted aga the cou-
ple moved on toward the head of the
e at the moviehouse. Officers never
wait,

We produced our p

laboriously pored over them a
the dim light of the street lamp,
moving as he read. Al, writing w
stubby yellow pencil. took down tl
formation in his notebook.
“Yer C.O. will be notified, and the
next time you guys show up hee in
town actin’ ike drunken bums, 1 will
personally throw you in t
iP" He stuck his Ta
meisters nose. “I said, ¥ got it?

Zinsmeister said nothing.

Mister, you Jalk when 1 ask you a

sses. The sergeant
їп under
lips
hu
e in-

сап. Y gor

. Lunderstand, yesir!”
° me, soldier. My name is

"Yes, sergeant, sir, SERGEANT

AIL right. Now, move on.”
We shot lor the open sea. Seconds
hater, we cowered behind a Bull Durham
billboard. Whimpering and nursing om
wounds, we sat there amid the weeds and
tomato cans for what seemed half the
night.

Finally, Zins stood up, kicked
ощ at an old truck tire, took a deep
breath and said, “Well, there's one thing
wee gor sewed up. anyway.

1 was busily retying my maued tie,
which had somehow gotten twisted around
to the back of my neck.

“We sure ше lucky,” he continued.
“that we've got a good hotel room. We
least get s sleep.
away from that a ummy
jjusied my сар, wh
ng 10 di ier down my spine.
o, old buddy.”

Zinsmcister struggled ош of the weeds
and E followed. We walked a block or so
n silence. Finally, Zinsmeister spoke up.
сап hardly wait to get berween a set
ol snowy sheets and rest my battered
head on а solt, llully pillow. ТЇШ drift ot
into а dreamdess sleep, unmaned Dy vi-
us of marching figures, yelling ser
ws amd trays of SO. S." His voice
iled off with a s
Ahead. we could see the yellow
bulbs of the Chárcau. Elegante Arms

You got the key?" I asked

“Have I got the key!

ister

can

h was

They could

sirip me of my dog tay mor and

whatever else they wanted, but they'd

never get this key! He paned his

breast pocket “It ix the key по solitude
id peace.”

The lobby was almost deserted now. A
few dosing soldiers sprawled out. under
the potted palms. The blue jowled. night
derk, wearing bifocals. »quinted stu-
diously at a ragged copy of Spicy Detec-
tive. He looked up as we came it
You registered?
smeister lished the key and
read off the room number from the beut
brass tag that hung from it: 503. The

out

bows, You turn left
out of the elevator. 15 about halfway
down the hall. You can't A
truth we were soon to cont

The elevator was a cage mad
iron bars. As it clanked upward through
the black shah. it occurred. (o me that
this was the only kind of elevator they
would have had in Transylvania, hanlhing
people up and down from the dungeons.
Tt creaked 10 a stop. T struggled to shove
the sliding door back and finally succeed-
ed, crunching my thumb nicely. 1 cursed
der my breath as we walked down the
m, seedy hallway. reading ol the num-
bers on the doors as we went: 709...

Go right on up,

BODL... 803. A faint rumble seemed 10
be flowing from under the door and ош
of ui ny transon

you sure that key says cightoh-
tice?” 1 asked Zinsmeister as we
before the door, carrying our Dopp-Kits.
He checked the key in the dim light.
There was no mistake

Give it a tty.”

Zinsmeisier slipped the key into the
lock.

At dust һе said as he
ace and privacy."

The door swung open. A
sound, a Hood of light vou
ап instant, we were both 100 stunned то
take in what was happenin

"Welcome 10 good old cightoh-threc,
boys. Come on im. And close the god-
damn door" From wall ro wall, (he
room was packed with tolling Army
bunks. A dosen or more Gly lay and
squatted about the room, which wa
filled with billowing tobacco smoke and
the aromatic stench of Deer suds.

a the club, suckers, You got took
һу that old babe down at the U.S. O..
too!”

A weedyJooking GI wearing nothin
but one sock greeted us. Zinsmeister
stood framed. in the doorway saking in
the table which cluded а str ng
looped between the light fixture and th
curtain rod, from which swu а couple
of pairs of dripping underpants and some
o.d. socks, Two tes wearing quarter
master patches Indian-wrestled over the
bare sink, which hung the dingy
battleship gray wall

Zi threw his lı

stood

turned it,

from

ad back, his

eyes flashing in the reflected light from
the ceiling fixture, and laughed that lo
maniacal Laugh, which I had come to
know so well. The Pics stopped Indian
wrestling and looked up curiously.

“OF couse! HB all fits! H had (o
be! There was no other way! The Ше
old lady at the U.S. O.! A shill! I's too
good to be true!” He laughed a
nsmeister." 1 dug him in the
r Cut it out. One of them
ıt be an MP. You know wh

Ducks apiece! Oh, my бо
“HEY, YOU JERK! CLOSE
GODDAMN DOOR!” yelled a burly
soldier from one of the bunks. He threw
а beer can in our direction, It clauered
against. the wall, sending up a shower of
suds.

“WHO THE HELL YOU THINK
YOU'RE SQUIRTIN' 2 shouted anoth-
er prone figure

“Ah, dry up! Yer lucky 1 didu't throw
the can at you!”

Since we were the latest to arrive,
naturally our two cots were the worst in
the room, The head of mi stuck into
the empty closet and extended out
imo the maelstrom. 2
jammed up
lo walk over four other cots to get to it.

“I thought they said a double roo
said rhetorically.
icy raspberries resulted. Zins-
meister, face flushed amd сус glazed,
crawled over the lumpy beddothes to his
cot. 1 sat on the edge of mine and
unlaced my shoes. There was a kind of
mad, hopeless gaiety in the room. We
had all been caught in the same net and
felt the universal empathy of one victim
for another. I pulled olf my soggy pants,
wned and shook my he:
The full elect of the Aloha Blaster h:
not yet worn oll. It would last for d:

Somebody hollered out, “I wonder
where that goddamn lieutenant 5 sleep:
š tonight." A ragged cheer at this wit
n rattled the worn Venetian blinds
“How bout that Another

THE

roa?

che
“TH bee (hey ain't sleepin’ forty to а
room!"
FER CHRISSAKRE, CAN IT, WILL
YOU, GUYS! I'M TRYIN’ TO
SLEEP." This came from а bundle of
blankets huddled in the corner cot.
“FUCK YOU, MACK!” Five buddies
© the only possible answer

g

5G hk... ork... ok eus
ork..." came from the bathroom.
“Hey. Blotski, are you heavin or just

tryin’ for Laughs?
An ashen, sweardhippiug figure tot-
tered from the toilet and wove unstead

ily into the room. His red-rimmed eyes
blinked

“Now, here's a company offering excellent starting

salary and benefit.

and they swear they're not

making a thin dime off Vietnam."

"Feeeepp!" he squealed. grabbed his
stomach and staggered back into the
john. slamming the door behind lı

“Jesus, wl
"He's got all that. Hawaii,
all over the floor in there.”

Someone farted long and hard, Imme-
diately, a mwar of appreciative applause
arose.

“What Фуа do for an encore, Рањо?”

Fatso, who sat on the Поог in his o. d.
shorts, reading comic books, showed us
all what he did for an encore, topping
even his first clfort. Even Zinsmi
impressed. He felt t пу ol
sort should be encouraged.

А knock on the door broke up the
shouting. The crowd sat for a minute in
Another knack.

“Well, fer chrissake, stupid, open the
door! someone finally said

Stupid, the tall, skinny guy with the
one sock, got up and di lly swung
the door open. Instantly, the
in total uproar. A short, curvy
stood trapped in the blaze of lig
rabbit caught in the headlights of a car,
wild with confusion.
here?” she мап
le a lunge at her
ified and эсте;
‚ош of our lives

“Well, hats our sex for
boys," опе of the Gls cracked.

He was right and we all knew it. We
knew a lot of things by that time of the

silence.

wever.

tonight,

night. although they were things you'd
her not talk about.
sed around. a bottle with-

"No, thanks." I waved it away.
One soldier, who had said nothing
throughout all this, fell heavily off his
bunk, onto the floor.
“Chris, thats the fourth

he's

timc

done that. Why don't we tie him to the
floor?
neck."

Hes gonna bust his goddamn

ily back onto hus
the toilet inched

loor to

darkness

low over the tattered тир. his dog tags
dragging on the йош

"Blotski's sure ha
weekend, айл he?”
revelers

“Hey, Blotski, look up. sos I can get
yer picture, Yer mother would like to see
that her baby boy is havin

Blotski, unheeding.
on toward his bed, stopp
feet shore and sinking w
cold

himself
Said one of

great
ше

bour three
the Hoor, out

"Now, there's officer material, ain't he,
men
As J sat engulfed in this du І

couldn't help remembe
vision of the perfect pass.

From the far corner of the room came
the sound of steady, rhythmic, primal
snoring. At least one GI сап be found

g Ziusmeister's

295

PLAYBOY

296

slecping under all circumstances. This
one, in a маце of deep coma, slept
through the whole night's uproar. He
probably slcpt his way through the whole
у

The bottle went around again. And
finally, everything began to quict down.

"Hey, is everybody sleeping?" asked
the tall, skinny СІ finall quict
voice. At the tim

"HOW THE
SLEEP IN THIS NUT HOUS
one hollered.
Who the hell wams to sleep on a
pass, anyway?” someone else chimed in.
Zinsmeister lay stretched out on his rack,
eyes dosed. God knows what he was
thinking. The skinny GI was fishing in
his museue bag, which hung from the
end of his cot.

You got some booze in there, Mack?"
someone asked.

He drew out his hand and sat upright,
zed on his bunk, fist clenched.
* bout... little action? Just
to pass the time.” In a quick motion, his
hand swept across the bunk. Two gleam-
ing white objects spun ced for a
moment and then slid to a stop. His

some-

ad d

се was low and sensual—the siren call
For a minute, no onc answered.
п Fato, a cigareue dangling from
s lips, heaved himself to his feet.

“Why, I do believe 1 sce a pair of
gallopin' dominoes”

He Jumbered toward the bed. The
skinny GI scooped them up and rolled
them out again. 7 aint skittering,
ng sound they made filled the sud-
lence th IL А sleep-
ely tuned
ar responding to the call. Blotski
rose to his knees, his ashen
showing a bit of color. The skim
silently crossed over to the door
snapped the safety latch.

UY! can't be too sure. Them damn
MPs are everywhere.

He returned to his bunk, suipped
it to the bare canvas, carefully

wd of it, draped a thread
over the whole conglomeration, smoothed
it down with his hands, straightened
up and looked around the room. His
pale-blue eyes issued the age-old chal-
lenge that has been heeded by the pri
vates who followed Hanni

“If it wasn’t for Christmas, I'd leave the Church."

with shovels, who curried Richard the
Lionheartei’s charger, who polished
Napoleon's boots at Waterloo, who

rowed Washington's boat at Trenton,
who worked the garbage detail for Sher-
man at the siege of Atlanta, who pulled
latine orderly under Pershing at the
second battle of the Marne. A rufle of
drums, a trumpetinz of phantom bugles,
the mutter of distant artillery pieces and
the roll of a рай of bones are the eternal
lor of the enlisted man.

Now, as it must to all common soldiers
in the ranks, the call came loud and
clear to Zinsmeister
Il the others in that moldy hotel room
in the Олик». I had heard of Army crap
games but had seen them only in the
movies. For one reason or another, Com-
pany K had never been involved in this
ancient Army vice. An occasional rack of
pool in the day room and the intermina-
ble ping-pong game was about the extent
of the sporting life 1 had known in the
Army. The same was true of Zinsmeister,
who was now sitting half upright, |
ing on his elbows, a look of intense
interest in his eyes

ТАП right. boys” said the skinny sol-
dier, Tm rollin.” Again, his right hand
lashed out in a cool, sweeping under-
hand movement. The twin cubes shot

wer the bed, snicked пч ue
blinket-covered chair se Гог a
moment aud stopped dead.

By w the entire crowd,
Bloiski, who seemed to have been sol
up by the sound of the dice. had formed a
scmicirde around the bed, Wallets had
ppeared; someone had turned off all die
hts in the room except a single bulb
over the arena. Great shadows loomed on
the gray walls. 1 edged into the crowd.
Zinsmeisier moved in on the other side.

“Lite Joe!" the skinny soldier
clipped out with mirthless pleasure.

This puzzled me. 1 had heard no one
in the room called Joc.

“TH fade.

STI take a chunk of that

the and
Ripped onto the bed. 1 edged closer as
itso lit another cigarette and took a
deep dra c glowing like
twin coals in the sh;
“1 say Little Joe. Little Joe's my poini
More quarters spun onto the bed. The

air

skinny soldier looked around at the cir-
de es, snatched up the dice, slowly
massaged them between his palms. He

pple
falling like an imprisoned
neck,

ig and
yoyo in his long, saawn

he answered hoarsely.

y Linie Joe, where are you?"
The dice slammed against the ch

spun and stopped. Before 1 could even

read the dots, the skinny soldi
whipped them up.

Il fade you, Dad.”

Il take some more of that.”

More quarters rolled onto the bed.
"Come on, Little Joc, I wy Liule
Joe:

Again, the dice s
blanket.

‘The skinny soldier, his veins standing
out in concentration, hissed, “Yeah! Little
Joe from Kokomo, you ain't let Daddy
down!”

His left hand scooped up the coins
and tossed them into his museue bag, all
in one smooth motion. The crowd mut-
tered, cheered and cursed.

"Oh. ah feels hot

in massaging the dice.

“Is this anything like bunko?” I asked
Fatso, who had just thrown a dollar onto
the bed. He blew a cloud of smoke in my
Tace a d in a gravelly voice,
bunko. Why don't y toss in,
Nothin’ to it”

t certainly looks interesting.” Jt was
all 1 could think to

“Ie is. kid

He lit another cigarette hom the butt
of the one in his mouth. Gingerly, I
extracted a dollar from my wallet and
tossed it onto the bed as I had seen the
do. Zinsmeister followed suit.
Veah'" The skinny soldier, eying
the dough, blew his hot breath long and
to the eupped hands cradling the

aked the

across

gh,” he said,

«ух on the center track tonight.
Y hear me, you two little sweethearts?
You hear me good?" His eyes rolled
toward the ceiling, besecching the
god of craps

“Anda here we до!"

"The bones spun and stopped

“Hoho!” he chirped. “Ol Daddy's
flung an eighter from Decatur. Yessiree.
Who wants a picce of that action?”

“TIL back you."

TII fade y^, dogface.

The skinny soldier scooped up the
dice and talked confidentially to them.
gler, old eighter, у hear me? From
Decatur. Lets see them spots. We are
hot tonight. Eighter-o!

The dice rolled again, By now, 1 was
thoroughly confused, АП I remember
clearly is seeing my money disappear.
Zinsmeister had edged over around to
my side of the crowd.
Wi does eight
mean?" he whispered.
You've got me. First it was L

from Decatur

пе Joc

from Kokomo, now eighter from Deca
Tur."
More money w: aged. There

w

a flurry of excitement and somebody
else held the dice. More action. Then,
mysteriously and without warning, 1
found the dice in my hand. I had
watched the others yell, cajole, pray,
sweat: so T tried to imitate the experts.
The bones feli hot and slippery. I blew

on them and tried to roll them the way I
had эсеп the skinny soldier do, with а
neat sidearm flip. One disappeared into
the john: the other bounced under the
bed. 1 felt redness coming up and wash
g over me in a hot wave. Somebody
е out with a raspberry. One soldier
dashed into the john and flipped th
lights on to read the die. Another crawled
under the bunk.
nake eyes.
"Snake what?" I asked.
ike eyes. Ү` thrun snake eyes.”

More money down the drain, in more
ways than one. 1 seemed to have lost
п. 1 never knew why

The dice were tossed to Fatso. His
style was dramatically different [rom that
of the skinny soldier. He hunched low
over the bed, his head almost touching
the blanket, his naked belly hanging low.
Sweat dripped from the matted hai
his chest. His dog danked
Hipped the dice. He held th
hands, as in a hollow ball, shal
fiercely and then rolling them out like a
bowler, with a low pendulum motion
The dice seemed to slide, as though on
slick ice,
at the end, when they hit the а
he bowled them out, his eyes closed
tightly and he let out a low, animal

More money drifted down (rom the
circle of faces, like beautiful green snow.
зо threw a grunted again, and
again the money drilted down.
Blotski, speaking for the first

Тег» see yer dough. Blotski
answered, without tak
dice.

Dlotski threw a ten into the pot. A low
muner went up from the дует
Even I could understand a ten-dollar
bi More side bets were laid. Fatso.
puffing steadily on his cigareue, sweitin
as though he had just stepped from a
steaming shower, tossed the dice,

"Holy Chi rd straight.
meone shouted. Another hubbub.
mal

` Fato
E his eyes olf the

ist! That's his t|

By now, a large
piled up in front of Fatso.

Here's a twenty says you don't throw
another pas." The skinny soldier r
turned to the fray, his $20 bill join
the pile

Zinsmeisier suddenly said, "I'll go with
that.” He drew a $20 bill out of his w:
let and tossed it

D cannot explain what happened in
the next five minutes or so, since the
human mind is so constructed that truly
disastrous moments are often veiled in a
moke screen of incomprehensi
ember involuntarily placing bills of

k of money had

s

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PLAYBOY
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Mail to: PLAYBOY
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Tis Cede

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PLAYBOY

298

various denominations into the kit
The dice leaped. Fato swore and g

1, over and over. The skinny soldier's
Adam's apple at times dipped all the
way down to his thorax. and the temper-
ature soared, or at least it seemed to.
Sweat poured into my eyes. Body odor

rose from our huddled forms like shim-
mering heat from a pavement in August.

I was gripped by an insane excitement
h as T had never known. T vaguely
derstood, or at least thought E did, thar
if the right things happened with those
accursed white cubes, | would come into
а considerable portion of that growing
stack ol the elusive spondulics, Zinsmeis
ter, too, swirled in the same maddened
maelstrom.

Fatso kept rolling the dice and grunt-
ing. One GI, his сєз pop hissed,
“Twelve straight pases! | never seen
nothin’ like it!"

“Оз, my God, no! Ya fat based! Ya
bested те!” one soldier cried out, top-
pling over backward, his last cent gone,

Suddenly, Fatso stood up.
dry! 1 can't stand it. You fellas mind if
1 Knock off for a couple minutes and run
down and git myself some colíee down in
the lobb}?

Uproa
Look, vou fat bastard, you ain't gon-
ı run ont on us now, with you holding
1 the dough!" The skinny soldier. his
voice dripping with malevolence, glared
the fat one, who was gasping histrioni-
ally in thirst.

Well, TH tell you, fellas, 1 just got to
have some coffee. Iis on account of my
sinuses. Doctor says I моца have collec,

"How "bout room service?” I asked.
Ме you kidding? Room service!
This joint don't even have no bellboy."

TII tell vou what.
stairs with you, to r

sure vou come

back and ghe us a chance 10 win our
dough back" The skinny sohlier, a
heavy loser, sounded threatening:

"Sure. Why not? You can cen hold

the dough,” Faso agreed, but his inno-
cent eyes showed pain and hurt
"You damn betcha ГИ hold
dough! Any of you guys want collec
Nobody did. Favo and the skinny sol-
ier put on their uniforms to go down to
the lobby.
ГИ watch old Fatty here. He ain't
gittin’ outta my sight,” the skinny soldier
drawled reassuringly, He gathered up
the pile of succulent lettuce, folded it
into a wad, stuck it in his pocket and the
two disappeared through the door.
ndelined fear oozed out of
the musty back rooms of my mind. “Boy,
this sure is fun, isn't i?" D said uncer-

the

nodded silently, his eyes
ing the door. Five minutes
ticked by. The Gls milled restlesly, went
10 the john, coughed, scratched thei
bs. Blotski had ret
and was now snoozir

never lei

minutes. Twenty
minutes. ws all at almost
the same time, like some silent jungle
telegraph. We all knew.

Blotski, lying proni
and said it for all of u

Someone said. “Yeah?

“We been blued, screwed and tat
tooed,"

A tired-loo corporal in horn-
rimmed glesses said to no one in particu-
lar. “Them bastards were workin’ as a
team. They prob'ly don't even have a
room here at the hotel.” He flopped
back onto his bunk, limp with disgust.

itiously, Г peeked into my wal-
skinny one-dollar bills re
mained, The bus fare back to camp was
а dollar and а quarter.

Outside, it was beginning to show gra
nsmeister pulled on his pants, his

opened one eye
“Men?”

eyes pully with c, his jaw black
with stubble
Where y going?” I asked,
Lers ger down to the bus sta
Then we won't have any eight
ай."

Numbly, I dressed, a faint, low hum
drin g through my brain. The Aloha
Blaster, the cheeseburger, the crap game,
all had become a sort of hazy blur. It
seemed years since we had stood inspec
tion and Goldberg had come through so
mirtculously and made this costasy pos
sible.

Zinsmeister, what docs "fade: mean?
Vos we rode dow
пас if I know

We walked through the silent streets,
рам a dreary little park. GIs were snor-
ing in the bushes. From someplace, a
flock of chickens had appeared and were
pecking and ducking around the sprawled
soldiers, scooping up tidbits left over from
the night's revelry
мешу minutes later, we struggled
aboard the first bus bound for camp. It
was packed full, Gasser and Edwards—
who had decided at the last minute to
take his one list Iing, afier all, before
being shipped to Burma—sat in the back
just behind us, staring moodily out the

n the elevator.

window.

After about 15 minutes of silence, Gas-
ser leaned forward. his eyes bloodshot,
his voice low and fuzzy: “How'd you
guys make oul?”

“Shall we tell him, buddy?
ter asked me with а
nudge.

1 took

А
conspiratorial

meis

the e

"Oh. I dont know.
You shoulda seen the WAC that cane
right up to our room and demanded to
be let it
A WAG... came up to your room?
"You bet. She was really something!”
“You mean . . , you actually got a f.
dwards' face shone with admi

пог

I would
right?"

iore like she caught us,

Right!” T chimed in.

Zinsmeister pounded it home: "And
we didn't sleep a wink all night after
that, did we
You might say th
Holy Kee-ris ser, Fully awake,
his eyes wide with respect, turned (o
Edwards. “I told y' we shoulda stuck
with these two, bur no. goddamn it, you
knew beuer! 1 shoulda never listened
riled, ssid, "Well,
how the hell was 1 to know these two
Was gonna hit the jack pot”

And how "bout that meal?" Zinsmei
ter dug me in the ribs. “We had a
splendid repast in the. finest restaurant
in town.

Again, Gasser, his voice trembling with
rape. attached Edwards. "You and í
dunn chili joint! Yeah, you know all
about where to go. That chilill be com-
in^ up on me lor a month

Edwards remained silent, his e
red.

“Well, Gasser. E don't wish to pry, but
how did your pass go;

Gasser hesitated

rs brick

and d-

glared at

wards

Me this meatball just messed
around, that's what! We never even seen
a girl. | |” His voice wailed oll. "Or

nothin’ else, either, except the Dr
land Bowling Alley, where this horses

ass dragged me."

“Well. you didnt have to Ed-
wards muttered weakly

"Balls" was sser said.

"In f. " said Zinsmeister, his voice
ringing out loud and clear, so that the
other dogfaces from Company K who
were scattered d in the bus wold
be sure to ‘at опе point, our

became so intense, ou
ment so public, that we w
the MPs.”

Gasser, all color drained from his
was now totally agog-
stared oll ghimly imo space.

‘You n you raised so much hell
you got pinched?

You might say that,” Zi
swered with just the right note of under
tement. He Listicdiously licked a speck
оГ dog manure from his shirt

The bus rattled on toward camp. 10-
ward the sanctuary of the PN, the day
room, the post theater—our home away
fiom home for a brief slice of time i
the limping history of Company K

“Boy, 1 gotta hand it to ya. You guys
really know the ropes." Gaser laid o
his highest praise.

ven
re detained by

ке.
Edwards jus

ismeister

ed his
knowing smile. The buzzing
had picked up a bit. I sar very still and
tried to smile rhe way Zinsmeister
smiled, like William Powell in The Thin
Man, about to name the murderer. A
Jegend had begun.

oM, quiet,
п my head

e e
e S WE ALL KNOW, AMERICANS ARE

CREATURES OF HABIT. OFFHANR SOME
HABITS WE CAN THINK OF ARE PREMARITAL
AND POSTMARITAL SEX. AND THEN THERE АКЕ
BAD HABITS--LIKE SMOKING AND DRINKING
AND DRUGS. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR HEROINE
EXAMINES THE LATTER AND NOT THE FORMER.

BY HARVEY KURTZMAN AND WILL ELDER.

ARE YOU You
ENJOVING MY PARTY, SMOKE
BENTON ? YOU'D BETTER TAKE TOO MUCH,
SOME CHAMPAGNE WHILE YOU CAN. : SOLLY! AND
EVERVONE’S BEEN GRAB GRAB \
GRABBING IT UP”

LOOK AT LANCE
ç SILVERTHIN
BACK THERE.
PM NOT BENTON. PM "м í SEE HOW
SOLLY. AND 1 DONT DRINK. р STYLISH НЕ
1 5M0! 15 WHEN HE

1 KNOW! BROADS ALWAYS WATCH! --- THE BROAD VAKETY- - BUT HE DOESN'T MISS А THING,
MOONING AROUND HIN +: TRYING YAKS << HE IGNORES HER. THEN AND STRAIGHT-ARMS НЕК INTO
TO CRIB HIS РАСК OF CIGARETTES! SHE TRIES TO CKIB THE THE ELEVATOR. WHAT A TECHNIQUE!

w HE'S IMPOSSIBLE! CIGARETTES — Е ` IMPOSSIBLE!

294

LOOK AT THE WAV HE LIGHTS

UP AND EXHALES THROUGH HIS

NOSE ! BEAUTIFUL! LOOK! HE'S
EVEN GOT ANNIE HOOKED.

PLAYBOY

AS PAPA ERNEST
USED TO SAY, YOU
CAN'T TRUST A MAN
WHO DOESN'T

300

LOOK! HE TAKES A DRAG ~-
TAKES HER IN HIS ARMS ~~ CRUSHES
HER TO HIM -- THEIR LIPS COME
CLOSER `> CLOSER —

1 OBSCENITY
ON A мам WHO
DOESN'T
DRINK!

HE PRESSES
HIS MOUTH TO HERS ™
AND COUGHS.

+ ALL TOBACCO
1$ A FILTHY BUSINESS. IF
VOU NEED А HABIT, FIND ONE WITH
ELEGANCE AND SOPHISTICATION. PLL
PICK THE BUBBLY OVER THE
PERNICIOUS WEED
ANYTIME.

DE. scoze! BAH!

Pa Wm

A MAN WHO
DOESN'T DRINK
ISN'T A MAN!

OF THAT GREAT
INTERNATIONAL,
FIGURE, JAMES
BOND +s THREE

FINGERS OF А GOOD
SCOTCH WHISKY
GENTLY SWIRLED
IN A TUMBLER:
OF ICE CUBES “~
AND WHEN THE
SCOTCH 15 BROUGHT
ТО THE FLAVORFUL
CHILL THAT PUTS

ASKIN OF ICE

ON THE HULL

OF THE GLASS,

WHAT (LIKE
TO DO
15-

BENTON

BATTBARTON

15 EXPLAINING
ABOUT COCKTAILS
AND HIGHÉALLS.
IN THE NEXT ROOM.
HE'S 50 ELEGANT

AND SOPHISTI-

TSK, TSK WONT
THESE OLDER FOLK EVER
LEARN ABOUT SMOKING ANO
DRINKING? DON'T THEY KNOW

THAT THEY MAY ALTER THEIR
BODY CHEMISTRY AND BECOME
ADDICTS ? AND DON'T THEY
KNOW THAT THERE IG A SIMPLE

ALTERNATIVE TO THE
SMOKING AND DRINK-
ING HABIT 2

301

YES, GRASS |5 NICE.
TREES AND BUSHES AND LOTS OF
FRESH AIR 15 GOOD, TOO ` GLORYOSKY? «WHY
15 EVERYONE SHARING THAT ONE OLD
CIGARETTE? ARE WE ALL OUT?

PLAYBOY

THAT'S WELL.
TERRIBLE! THEY'LL 1 WOULDN'T
GET SICK! ITS SAY IT'S EXACTLY
DANGEROUS! HEALTHY PASSING
- GERMS FROM MOUTH TO
MOUTH. WHEN WAS THE
IT 1S NOT. LAST TIME ANY OF
DANGEROUS! THEM BRUSHED
THEIR TEETH?

THERE AKE
OTHER THINGS YCU SHOULD
KNOW ABOUT MARIJUANA,
Е

302

THAT S

GRASS!
MARIJUANA
“

LIKE — IT'S A
GKOOVE, LIKE, WHEN
NOU GROOVE IT, YOU, LIKE,
GROOVE AROUND IN A KIND | TAINLY
OF GROOVINESS, LIKE, ANO ©
EVERYTHING TURNS INTO

LIKE, ONE BIG

MANY EMINENT Ve
SCHOLARS AND

E scienrists-
dis

“WE'LL BUST THERE 15

- AND FINALLY,
о GOOD! YOULL INO SCIENTIFIC ANNIE, AND, PERHAPS, THE
GET A COUPLE YEARS PROOF THAT GRASS MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU

CAN HARM
IN JAIL AND A COUPLE ou. r HO MARIJUANA T

YEARS IN THE

AFTER TONIGHT,

I THINK PLL STAY WITH

NAIL-&ITING AND
MALLOMAKS.

CALORIES
HOW MUCH
FAT AND

STARCH
M CONTENT
ARE IN THE
MARSH-
MALLOW
PART

ALONE
?

303

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DISTILLED LONDON DRY

Theswizzle stick is an authentic replica of the Armorial Bearings of The Honourable John H. P. Gilbey. whoinvitesyou toshare the family gi

So grab for all the 2
Even inthe en yout
Pie Л for le im Nu
When youre out of Schi, _
youre ш of E Rz

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