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ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 1970+ ONE DOLLAR 


Anyone can copy 
a good scotch, 
but no one can forge 

our Passport. 


We spent che last twenty years 
building up the largest and most 
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Asa result, Passport isa blend of 
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We bottled Passport here in the 
States to save you money on taxes 
Thereby making Passport a premium 
Scotch without a premium price. 

And thereby making it even harder 
to forge our Passport 

Still, if there were anyone naive 
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compliment him on his taste. 


Passport 
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Imported by Calvert. 


86 PROOF - 100% BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY - IMPORTED BY CALVERT DISTILLERS CO., N.Y.C. 


Introducing great stereo 
for people who can't afford great stereo. 


First of all, let's define great stereo. 

A great stereo has to have great speakers. 

Our air suspension speakers with wide-angle 
sound are as good as standard speakers two sizes 
larger. And they let you sitalmostanywhere in the 
room and still get the full stereo effect. 

A great stereo has to have a great turntable. 

The CS-20 includes a Dual 1015 automatic 
turntable with feather-touch cue control, variable 
anti-skate control, precision counter-balanced arm, 
anda Pickering magnetic cartridge. So you get 
smooth, distortion-free sound. 

A great stereo has to have a great amplifier. 

The CS-20 hasa solid state power amplifier that 
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any high or low sound levels. It's also free of audible 


hum and noise. 

A great stereo has to have a great AM/FM tuner. 

The CS-20 comes with “Field Effect Transistors” 
that keep out unwanted signals, a new FM muting 
control to get rid of noise between channels, and 
automatic FM stereo switching. 

The big difference between our system anda lot of 
very expensive units all over the place is that we put 
them all together for you so you don't have to worry 
about mismatching. 

Oh yes, there's another difference. You can afford 
ours. It's about $200 less than what you've always 
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PLAYBILL THE RADIANT YOUNG LADY out front, 
ascendant actress bi Benton, is a fit- 
symbol both of the regenerative season's impending arrival 
and of the bountiful issue we've prepared to greet the 
vernal equinox. It's laden with fictional. reportorial and pic- 
torial pleasures, not the least of which is Barbi Doll. a nine- 
© pacan to our cover girl, who has the special distinction 
of being Editor-Publisher Hugh M. Hefner's constant com- 
panion. Heading our list of nonfiction this month are two 
views of youthful currents and crosscurrents in contemporary 
politics—the flicting directions in which campus radical: 
and conservatives seck to lead the nation. Jules Siegel's Revolu- 
Lion surveys the precepts and. programs of SDS and similarly 
anti-establishmce! iam factions on the lefehand end of the 
political spectrum; George Fox's Counterrevolution focuses 
on the ways and means by which the 
ideological opponents of the New Left 
hope to arrest its moyement—which 
they feel is a downhill trip toward an- 
res by which 


a new society that is, in many instances, 
isingly similar to that envisioned 
r rivals. Fox and Siegel. while 
young themselves. areold friends. Tongue 
firmly in check, Fox inform 
us that when Siegel found out 


SHAW 


who was covering the conserv- 
ie 


ative side of the coll 


scene for riAvnoy, "he tel 
phoned to express the opin- 
ion that I was the perfect 
choice for ihe assignment, 
nce he couldnt think of 
nother American writer un- 
der 40 who looked square D 
ugh to gain the confidence 
of rightwing college sur 
dens." Apparently fated to 
continue their parallel. pur- 
suits, both writers are cur 
rently at work on novels. 
sov editors contribute 
two of tli month's non- 
fiction features. Senior Edi 
tor Michael Laurence, whose 
articles have been winning him a rep- 
utation as one of the country's sli 
est (and youngest) financial write 
tells how a lone voyager cam profit- 
ably navigate the maze of Wall Street 
in Playboy Plays the Stock Market; 
is our plan to include the piece in 
a forthcoming Playboy Press volume 
by Laurence on personal investing. ny 

Our second stafler in the spotlight 

this month is Assistant Editor Bill Quinn, who journeyed 
to Los Angeles to meet with Ray Charles for an exclusive 
Playboy Interview. An active musician himself and for- 
merly the Assistant Editor of Down Beat, Quinn is current- 
ly coscripting Bird of the Iron Feather, a dramatic series 
produced by and for black people on. WTTW, Chicago's 

ion. 

everent essay on a subject of a rela- 
tively eus ure—those heavenly bodies by which an 
unprecedented number of people believe their lives to be con- 
tolled. Versatile C. Robert Jennings, who roamed for erAynov 
through the mystico-eligious underground of California a 
year ago in Cultsville U.S.A. zeroes in this time on the prac- 
titioners of one such esoteric art—astrology—in Swinging on 
the Stars. Speaking of occult science, we wouldn't be at 


PLA 


QUINN 


all surprised if futurist Alvin Toffler were to character- 
ize blind trust in the horoscope as a possible symptom 
of future shock, that numbing state—cuused by our relent 
Iessly accelerating pace of life—which he wrote about in 
last month’s issue; this time around. in Coping with Future 
Shock, Toffler suggests methods that the individual—and 
society—can employ to maintain equilib mes of 
input overload 
Our lead fiction this month, Irwin Shaw's Rudolph in 
Moneyland. is a companion piece to Thomas in Elysium, which 
you enjoyed in January's nurn-of-the-decide issue. Both stories 
will be included in Shaw's novel Rich Man, Poor Man, 
which the writer, at his Swiss retreat. is presently cutting 
down to a suitable size for publication in September by 
Delacorte. Another superlative work of fiction is the second 
installment (there's one more coming) 
of The Land of a Million Elephants, Asi 
Babers offbeat account of wild and 
woolly happenings in a mythical but all- 
too-familiar corner of the Orient. 
Warner Law, whose The Thousand- 
Dollar Cup of Crazy German Coffee won 
the editors’ accolades as the best fiction 
by a new writer to appear 
last year, entertains us again with Lin- 
coln’s Doctors Son's Dog, a 
satiric sob-story takeoff on 
the never-before-substantiated 
publishing legend that the 
archetypal best seller would 
he a piece about Lincoln's 
doctors dog. Our other fic 
tion treats are The Same 
to You Doubled, a blackly 
humorous fantasy by Robert 
Sheckley, who is fast proving 
himself a master of his m. 
(Sheckley's Cordle to Onion 


n PLAYBOY 


to Carrot placed a close sec- 
ond in January's balloting 
for the Best Short Story 


award and Contributing 
ditor Ken W. Purdy’s The 
Convert, a wry tale of a 
suitor who finds himself 
enmeshed in his beloyed’s 
esoteric interests. 

Master chef and PLAvnoY's Food & 
Drink Editor Thon io turns his 
attention to a familiar dish and deline- 
ates some unsuspected possibilities in 
Hash Freak-Out. Fashion Director Rob- 
ert L. Gree n The Basic Urban 
Wardrobe, specifies the essentials needed 
to keep any man correctly clad amid. 
todays fast-changing fashions. One of 
some singing groups, the Gold- 


most w 


umbrellas. 
is a detailed 


the grooviest in contemporary canes and 
Vegas and Tahoe: Nonstop Superesoris 
evocation and appraisal of a pair of Western Xan: 
dus. And our eye-filling picorials—in addition to Barbi 
Doll—indude Bunny of the Year, which devotes seve 
pages of exclusive uncoverage, in color, to our most 
captivating cottontails as they vied for the title that 
serves as our. headline, and The Girls of “Julius Caesar" an 
exclusive preview of moviedom's hedonistic new version 
of the Shakespeare classic Thus, gentlemen, it appe 
that we've a fun-filled month ahead, and it ill 
hooves us to dally any longer—so March right on! 


vol. 17, no. 3—march, 1970 


PLAYBOY. 


GENERAL OFFICES: HLAYIOY DUILOING, 213 N. kien 
IGAN AvE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS SOMN, METERAN POSTAGE 


AM Bt ASSUMED FOR UN 
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TO ADIT AND TO COMMENT EPITORIALLY. CONTENTS Cory 
monten ® 1370 ay pun runtismwa eR, me, ALL miem 
RESERVED. PLAYDOY® AND PAUDIT HEAD DESIGNS ACIS. 
TERED TFADIWARK, MARCA REGISTRADA, MARQUE PEPOSEE 
MITPOUT WALETEM PERMISSION FROM THE PULLISHER 
ANY SIMILANTE BEIWEKH THE PEOPLE AND PLACES P 
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SREDITS: coven: HOOEL BARB DENTON, PHOTOG 
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tann, 7.93; DAVID CHAN, P- 3 (2, wa 12) 


NORTON, P. MO: 4. BARRY O-ROURKE, P. 3 (1), 199. 


©. STEMS, T. REN 3): ALDUS DM 


AID AT CHICAGO. HL. AND AT ADDITIONAL MAILING or. 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBRL.. cerry 3 
DEAR PLAYBOY... 9 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. — 23 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR = 47 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM_ x —— 53 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: RAY CHARLES—candid conversati — 67 


RUDOLPH IN MONEYLAND fiction. 
COPING WITH FUTURE SHOCK —ariicle. : once ALVIN TOFFLER 88 
THE GIRLS OF “JULIUS CAESAR" —pictorial. 00 a 
THE BASIC URBAN WARDROBE —atire. 
SWINGING ON THE STARS—article 
VEGAS AND TAHOE: NONSTOP SUPERESORTS—travel. 105 
THE LAND OF A MILLION ELEPHANTS—fiction. a ASA BABER 112 
GO WEST, YOUNG WOMAN- playboy's playmate of the month "4 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—hymor. 
LIQUIDS’ ASSETS—accessories 
PLAYBOY PLAYS THE STOCK MARKET—article,.. 
THE SAME TO YOU DOUBLED—fiction 

SLICK STICKS AND JOLLY BROLLIES—accoutermenis 
REVOLUTION— 


i e RWIN SHAW 84 


— ROBERT L GREEN 98 
C. ROBERT JENNINGS 103 


-122 
: LENY 
MICHAEL LAURENCE 127 

-— ROBERT SHECKLEY 131 
—ÓÁ—— . 132 
ae JULES SIEGEL 134. 
n- GEORGE FOX 136 
KEN W. PURDY 139 
ome WO 


THE CONVERT—fiction . 
BARBI DOLL—pictorial e z 
HASH FREAK-OUT—food -— THOMAS MARIO 150 
HOW RAU-MAHORA WOOED HER HUSBAND—ribald classic 153 
LINCOLN'S DOCTOR'S SON'S DOG —fiction 
BUNNY OF THE YEAR—pictorial 

HEART LINE— 


WARNER LAW 155 
€— 157 
———-JULES FEIFFER 189 


HUGH M. HEENER editor and publisher 
A. C. SPECTORSKY associate publisher and editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 


JACK T. KESSIE managing editor VINCENT T. TAJIRI picture editor 


SHELDON WAX assistant managing editor; MURRAY FISHER, MICHAEL LAURENCE, NAT 
LEURMAS senior editors; kome MACAULEY fiction editor; JAMES GOODE articles editor: 
ARTHUR ERETOHMER associate arlicles editor; TOM OWEN modern living editor; DAVID 
UTLER, HENRY. FENWICK, WILLIAM. J- HELMER, LAWRENCE LINDERMAN, HAROLD RAMIS, 
ROWERT J. SHEA. DAVID STEVENS, JULIA TRELEASE, CRAIG VETTER. ROBERT ANTON WILSON 
associate editors; nontnr L. cniew fashion director; bavio TAYLOR fashion editor; 
LEN DHICHTON. travel editor; REGINALD POTTERTON assistant travel editor; THOMAS 
MARIO food & drink editor; J. pau cerry contributing edilor, business & finance; 
ARLENE ROURAS copy chief; KEN W. PURDY, KENNETH TYNAN contributing editors; 
RICHARD KOFF administrative editor; SYEVEN M. L. ARONSON, GEOFEREY NORMAN, STAN- 
LEY PALEY. BILL QUINN, CARL SNYDER, JAMES SPURLOCK, ROGER WIDENER, RAY WILLIAMS 
assistant editors; MEV CHAMBERLAIN, MARILYN GRAROWSKI associale picture editors; 
BILL ARSENAULT, DAVID CHAN, DWIGHT HOOKER, POMPEO POSAR, ALENAS URBA Slaf} pho- 
fographers; IKE CornaRD photo lab chief; VIVIAN sobixi executive art assistant; Kor 
ALD BLUME associate art director; ROB POST, GEORGE KENTON, RERIG POPE, TOM STAEBLER, 
ROY MOODY, LEN WILLIS, CHET SUSKI, JOSEPH PACZEK assistant art directors; WALTER 
ERADENYCH, VICTOR HUBBARD art assistants; MICHELLE ALTMAN associate cartoon editor; 
JON wasrko production manager; ALLEN VARGO assistant production manager; pat 
PAPPAS rights and permissions » wowARD w. LEDERER advertising director; yuLes 
KASH, JOSEPH. GUENTHER associate advertising managers; SHERMAN KEATS chicago 
advertising manager; ROWERY A. MCKENZIE detroit advertising manager; NEI- 
SON Furch promotion director; WELMUT LORSCH publicity manager; BENNY DUNN 
public relations manager; Axsox Mount public affairs manager: THEO FRED- 
TRICK personnel director; JANET viLcRIM reader service; ALVIN WIEMOLD sub 
scription manager; ROBERT S. preuss business manager and circulation director. 


A sports car for 
the price of a sporty car. 


The 1970 AMX is the only Ameri- 
can sportscar that costs less than $4,000. 

It lists for $3,395: which puts it into 
the same price category as a loaded 
Mustang or Camaro. 

But there is where the similarity 
begins and ends. 

For the AMX is a legitimate two- 
seater sports car. Not because we say it 
is, but because that’s the way we built it. 

Our 360 cu. in. V-8 engine isn't op- 
tional. It’s standard. 

You don’t pay extra for contoured 
high-back bucket seats with integral 
head restraints. 

Or mag style wheels. 

And an all-synchromesh 4-on-the- 
floor with Hurst shifter, dual exhausts, 


fiberglass belted Polyglas™ tires, heavy 
duty shocks and springs, rear torque 
links, a 140 m.p.h. Spe ort and a 
big tach aren't part ofa long list of avail- 
able options. 

They're part of a long list of stan- 
dard equipment. 

Sure, the AMX offers a larger en- 
gine and other performance options. 

But you don’t need them to make 
the AMX a sports car. 

You've got that to begin with. 


Vll American Motors 
$3,395 AMX 


1. Manufacturer's suggested retail price. Federal taxes in- 
cluded. State and local taxes, if any, destination charges and 
options excluded. 


Why do more 


beer drinkers m E 
sing the praises 2 u 
of Budweiser  . í 
than any 2 


other brand? 


(Yov'll know why 
after a bar 
or two.) 


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DEAR PLAYBOY 


E] vooress ptaveoy nez -riaveoy BUILDING. ero . MICHIGAN AVE, CHICAGO, ILLINDIS soet t 


SHEDDING A LITTLE LIGHT 

If there is a hot line on your bush 
telegraph that connects to the Grand 
Panther himself, please drum out my 
appredation for Eldridge Cleavers The 
Flashlight (December 1969). I am one of 
a growing number of Europeans who find 
themselves in a state of baffled admira- 
tion for the City of Angels and am just 
finishing a book on Angeleno architec- 
ture and the human ecology of which it 
forms a part; Cleaver's affectionate mem- 
oir of life "in the projects" will have an 
honored place in the bibliography. He 
evokes aspects of Los Angeles rarcly ob 
served by the kind of hicand-run urban 
expert who monopolizes discussions of 
the ciiy with denunciations of its aliena- 
tions and horrors. Cleaver tells it like it 
is—if you take the trouble to find the 
good: places and understand what's good 
about them 


Reyner Banham 
University College 

London, England 
Mr. Banham is a prominent English 
architectural writer, author of “The Well 
Tempered Architectural Environment.” 


I consider The Flashlight one of the 
best pieces of contemporary fiction that I 
have read, in the manner of Richard 
Wright but with Cleaver's own touch. 
xwell Geismar 

Harrison, New York 

4 well-known literary critic, Mr. Geis- 
mar is the author of "Henry James and 
the Jacobites? and editor of “The Port- 
able Thomas Wolfe,” among others. 


HOMAGE TO RONALD SEARLE 
With all due respect to John Huston, 
1 would love to play Toulouse-Lautrec 
again if Searle would direct as he draws 
(Homage to Toulouse-Lautrec, Decem- 
ber 1969). 
José Ferrer 
Croton-on-Hudson, New York 


I could not believe my eyes when I 
w Searles Homage. Such direct, hard- 
hitting graphic art cin bring back the 
bad old days of Rowlandson, Hogarth, 
Gillray, Daumier and Guys. What. you 
we doing is undermining the safe, sweet 
stuff, the lifted eyebrow and the dainty 
pink-u drawings t 


cup soci litter so 


many of our publications. The roaring, 
c comments on life by the great 
sis have been put out to pasture, The 
tearing political cartoons of Nast and 
others have now become polite linc and 
form, with labels attached. so we know 
whom we are spanking. 

So think it over before you let red 
meat (and such pretty asses) back into 
the graphic artists’ world. As we grow 
closer to the tick of the doomsday bomb, 
the right thing is to withdraw from the 


true comment and the powerful drafts- 
manship. from the artist who thumbs his 


nose ar the dull and banal life of our 
much-flogged society. 1 am against letting 


the public in on so many goodies. 

Stephen Longstreet 

Beverly Hills, California 

Mr. Longstreet is a novelist, play- 

wright, art critic and painter, whose 
credits include “High Button Shoes? (a 
play), “The (a novel) and 
screenplays for “The Jolson Story,” “The 
Greatest Show on Earth,” et al. 


GENIUSES ON GENIUS 

Robert Graves (Genius, PLAYBOY, De- 
cember 1969) is, by general repute, the 
most distinguished essayist. and poet 
writing in English and to be cited by 
him as a “remarkable comtemporary gen- 
ius" undoubtedly gives one a lift, but it 
also disturbing. 
Ir makes it difficult for a scientist. in 
reasonably good standing with his peers 
to admit that he is a genius, if, by so 
doing, he must be prepared to forsake 
deadening logic for living emotion and 
poeuy. | hope that 1 have been an 
honest experimentalist; at times, I have 
felt more than a little guilty as a theorc- 
tician for trying to leap too far from 
what can bé immediately subjected to 
experimental test. 

Yet. with another corner of my mind, 
I would like to believe what 


raves 
propounds, There is a curious ambiguity 
about the way a new approach grows on 
one. The theory t0 which Graves refers 

known to my colleagues as "Burners 
clonal selection theory of immunity.” It 
did not arise in a lightning flash nor in 
any other esoteric fashion, but as a result 
of pondering a year or two on some 
phenomena that seemed to be interrelat- 
ed but that would not make sense. I 


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PLAYBOY 


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scribbled many schemes and diagrams 
until, in September 1957, things suddenly. 
1 think most immunol- 
rec that the two-page pa- 
per I published then contains all the 
als of the modern theory. Some- 
ainst both my Scottish and my 


be something that corresponds to Graves's 
“cosmic coincidence" by which wi is 
almost a forcknowledge of the final form 
allows creative achievement 
There e complexity in hu- 
man thought vior. It is all there 
in the great nerve knot of the brain, but 
for some things of the mind, I am will- 
ing to believe that the poct may be able 
to interpret them better than the scienti: 
F. M. Burnet 
Parkville, Australia 


As one who has thought and wr 
genius over the course of ye 
pleased 10 sce your excellent tr 
by one who is himself a genius—Robert 
Graves, The subject of genius has been 
very little considered psychologically up 
to the present century. Lombroso was 
one of the first to do so and I am glad to 
see G ck his strange equating of 
gen dness. 

The author somewhat dodges the ques- 
tion of whether genius is a differen 
i 1 once made a 
ugham 10 
ascertain. his opinion on this subject. He 
agreed with me that genius is a dil 
ference only in degree, just as steam 
differs from water only through height- 
ened processes of heat, though there are 
those who ardently rt that the genius 
is a rare person different from all others, 
a sort of superma 

Another. proble: 


of genius, of which 
lays around the edges, is 
whether or not genius is 

ive Is great creati 1 gift of the 
e hormone? Women, it is tru 
written gm but they h 
nted no great pictures, composed. no 
at music, carved no great statues nor 
written much poetry of the 
Perhaps it is too 
the liberated female to ases her full 
powers. 


Stanwood Cobb 
Chevy Chase, Maryl 

Mr. Cobb is the author of “Discove 
ing the Genius Within You” and “The 
Importance of Creativity.” 


It is something of a tour de force to 
rticle on ge 
nonym, creat 


write 


the 


imtelligence may facilitate genius, the 
two qu are, indeed, distinct. The 
intelligent mind is quick to solve prob- 
lems and to correlate data and can be 

uated by tests, The truly creative 
however, produces concepts of 


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PLAYBOY 


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novelty that can be recognized only after 
the fact and that, like so-called parapsy- 
chological phenomena, are not amenable 
10 the standardization that precedes 
measurement 

As author, Graves is privileged to 
define genius as he will, to include such 
qualities as love or humility among its 
determinants. It is possible, however, 
ihat by confounding psychological and 
moral qualities, he may obscure our un- 
tanding of the subject. Rather more 
urbing is Graves’s ungencrous treat- 
ment of scientists and tcchnologists. 
Even the mos specialized and abstract 
among these “new mcn" may have pri- 
vate Visions that would surprise à poet. 
It is the hope of some that technology 
can provide the basis for a new, more 
humane Athens in which the slaves are 
of copper. silicon 
it is their fear that clamoring 
may overwhelm these hopes by 
pressure of numbers. 
her from ignorance, distaste or 
merely a preference for a classical age, 
one cannot safely ignore the intellectual 
history of the past half millennium or the 
past century. Surely, intelligence is rare 
and should be cultivated; genius is rarer 
and should be cherished where it is 
found. Yet o 1 problem, which 
be solved by is in constru 
society where there is a decent, respected, 
g place fot men of all degrees 


det 


s to be seen whether poets 
do more 10 generate 
all of us. 

Sander Rubin, Chairman 
American Mensa Committee 
New York, New York. 


OF TASTE AND WASTE 
Dr. Alan. Watts’s eloquent: December 
1969 article, Murder in the Kitchen, is 
one of the finest you've published to 
date. It reflects a superior understanding 
of the cosmos and of the delicate and 
ate balance that exists among all 
1 our ecological system, We really 
should wy “gening it all together"—soon 
—belore it’s too late. 
Trent 
Sausalito, € 


Often, as a truck crammed with con- 
fused cattle has passed me on the high 
way, I've ized a garbage can at the 
curb. of some zip-in, iurant, 
filled with half 
and wondered why those wreiched 
mals have to be brought to life and th 
slaughtered for the whim of some freckle- 
faced kid who digs hamburgers. Some 
would say concern for animals is child 
ish; but in this light, it seems that ado- 
lescence is simply an apprenticeship to 
the grand level of Exploiter. Perhaps 
we might better rename some of our 
aspirations of life: Grand Fouler of the 


ten cheapie burgers, 
ni 


"They 'would. never understand 


why ey wear acrazy jungle jacket right in the middle of the city. 


j i 


We don't have to tell you ways our 
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expedition. $17. Slightly higher in the 

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PLAYBOY 


* Atmosphere; Respected Despoiler of the 
T Jeremiah Beam Part of the Beam Rivers; Majestic Auctioneer of Life and 
ie 


Death. All in the name of a dollar. 


family art for 175 years. ctum 


hington University 
Son of the famous Col. Jim Beam, T. Jeremiah St. Louis, Missouri 


is the fifth gencration of the only Kentucky 
family that's made the same Bourbon since 
1795. As a matter of fact, 1970 marks the 
175th anniversary of the year that Jacob 
Beam, founder of the Beam clan, sold his 
first barrel of Kentucky Straight Bourbon 
Whiskey. 

That’s a mighty long time for one 
family to make one product, according 
to one formula, from the bum trip of the present system 

So the next time you sip Jim Beam, but also from the real downer of a vio 
savor its quality and its light d lent revolutio 
taste. That’s what we mean P a 
when we say it’s a 175- 
year-old family art. 


EROTIC POLITICS 

Tim Leary speaks the simple truth 
when he brags of creating more human 
happiness than “any Ph.D. in the history 
of the American Psychological Associa: 
tion" (Episode and Postscript, December 
1969). If Dr. Learys "Erotic politics" 
succeeds, he will have saved us nor only 


New York, New York 
SING ME A SONG 

For me, Tiny Tim's December 1969 
artide, The Great Crooners 


ng of 

bygone days. I also wish to thank you for 
including me among the well-known 
singers of that era, all of whom 1 knew 
very well 

‘The Rev. William Robyn Rubin 

Temple Israel Center 

White Plains, New York. 


Proof Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey Distilled and Bottled by 
M N MEE 


Tiny ‘Tim's article sent chills down 
my spine. I used to think that T. T. w 
some kind of freak who made fine mus 
and when I saw that PLaynoy had in- 
cluded him among the December 1060 
contributors. I thought, “Oh, wow, this 
is going to be a laugh!" I was born at 
the start of the Fifties, right after the 
crooners had begun to be superseded by 
Elvis Presley and othe 
rollers, and I'vc always been interested 
in knowing the kind of music my parents 

ticle is vivid, colorful and 
he writes with real sincerity 
and warmth, 


Cheryl Amold 
BSR McDonald automatic Columbus, Ohio 


PRAM | CLOSING THE GaP 
fie Seay wth Cross the Border, Close the Gap by 
LORD Leslie A. Fiedler (December 1969) raises 
features to play D frunta post-modernism in 
records with | iccrature and the collapse of literary 
Sound-studio icism. As early as Joseph Conrad’s ref 
DOM | rence to his work: “Ie i above all that 
ELA you may see," and throughout the dec- 
p ades until the Forties, literature and 


Decio cae criticism, along with the plastic arts, be- 


gan a program of deliberate perceptual 

ue PME | training. Leslie Fiedler is kind enough 

PAAA | io allude to some of my work. 1 regard 

BSR McDONALD OAA KANIE | te book Through the Vanishing Poini: 


Space in Poetry and Painting that I did 
with Harley Parker, the painter, as a new 
kind of criticism that crosses all artistic 


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PLAYBOY 


18 


If 


cherries 
had 
cork tips 
and 
charcoal filters, 


they d taste 
something 


like these 
new cigars. 


Enjoy a really 
novel taste. Ripe 
cherry flavor 
combined Jy with rich 
flavorful tobaccos. In Wolf Bros. 
Little Cigars. Firm, slim and 
extra long. She'll like them too! 


‘Sulidary of Usted 


d cukur 
temporal, 


» geographical and 
est of training the 
perception of d g spatial forms. 
The unconscious hang-up of the West- 
ern world is its assumption that space is 
a connected and uniform container. The 
Western world is unaware that visual 


ct. 
This assumption greatly inhibits our 
ability to explore our own or any other 
culture. Through the Vanishing Point, 
therefor n effective tool kit for prob- 
ing the multisensuous varieties of space 
that artists have always sought to make 
available to us. I suggest that this is neces- 
sarily the new criticism for the space age. 
In the Thirties, the new criticism had 
attempted an audiletactile invasion of 
the verbal universe. T. S. Eliot's famous 
account of “the auditory imagination” 
has become an ordinary form of aware- 
nes: but Finnegans Wake, as a compre- 
hensive study of the psychic and social 
dy of all media, remains to be 
brought into the waking lile of our world. 
Marshall McLuhan, 

Toronto, Ontario 


MAKING IT THE HARD WAY 
I found Soft-Core Pornography Made 
Easy (December 1969) delightful and I 
salute you for publishing it. It’s been my 
personal belief, however, that people 
should spend less time making pornogra- 
phy and more time making love. The 
best time to let your imagination run 
wild is when you're in bed with a woman. 

Ralph Ginzburg 
New York, New York 


FEAST AND FAMINE 

Hunger in America in your December 
1969 issue deals with the complete reality 
of what is happening in our country. 
Senato ; ested programs to 
counteract the problem of hungry Ameri- 
cans are quite interesting. 

I feel that the Federal Government 
should definitely take a stind on the 
kinds of food available to the poor and 
great emphasis should be on the dried 
fortified vitamin-supplemented foods that 
the poor are now receiving. The food- 
stamp program compelling the ind 
to stand in line is the most degr 
and humiliating process one cin be put 
through and should be changed. 

John Wooten, Executive Direcior 
Black Economic Union 


Cleveland, Ohio 


arest Joe Namath: I am writing 
this letter to you in care of rLavuoy 
as I have been unable to locate you 
since your Superbowl victory in January 
1969. After reading that marvelous in- 
terview in the December 1969 rrAvnov 
about your “extraordinary” sexual prow- 
ess and "incredible" longevity in the 
boudoir, I now realize what a naive, fool- 


ish child I was to have turned you down 
those twelve (12) times you asked. me for 
a date (Oh, my car - Joe, dar- 
g, if I could have known then what I 
know now about your “fantastic amorous 
abilities,” I would have turned vou down 
only six (6) of those times. After all, Joc, 
a girl's gotta rest sometime (Oh, chastity, 
where is thy sting?) 

However, my dearest treasure, I can 
certainly understand why you have cho 
sen another in place of me (Oh, be still, 
my jealous libido?) 

But Joe, darling, 1 haven't thrown i 
the towel yet. Every day, religiously, I 
have been going to the gym, geting 
myself in shape for our first big affair 
together, Which, by the way, will be 
televised as an impromptu five-hour spe- 
cial on The Wide World of Sports. 

Kaye Stevens 

Los Angeles. California 
P. S. If this five-hour special is too much 
of a strain on you, we can always work 
out a Five-Minute Sports Wrap-up. 


I believe Joe Namath is that rare type 
of person who knows what he wants out 
of life—and has finally reached a stage 
where he has the freedom to say what 
he believes. Few people reach it without 
the boss putting the finger on them. I'm 
all for Joe, if he believes in what he says 
You know the old say ferent 
strokes for different folks 

1 was with the Baltimore Colts for 
two years and the New York Giants for 
one; Pm now with the Boston Patriots. 
Allie Sherman wouldn't let me wear side- 
burns in New York, so 1 know a little 
bit about the freedom to do as one 
pleases. 


Barry Brown 


Pompano Beach, Florida 


IT'S ALL IN THE STEW 
Robert Sheckley's view of the world as 
one huge vegetable stew (Cordle to Onion 
to Carrot. December 1969) was not only 
entertaining, it was also instructional. I 
could hardly wait 10 take it to heart and 
put it to practice, but I'm forced to 
report Professor Sheckley must have 
skipped a lesson. They hated me in Chi- 
o. despised me in Denver and pro- 
nounced me insufferable in San Francisco 
—and I have the bruises, contusions, 
lacerations, chipped teeth and bloody 
hose to prove it! 
Robert Co 
San Fr 


riney 
icisco, California 


HAND IN GLOVE 

Ray Robinson's article on Cassius Clay 
(Sugar and Clay, December 1969) was e: 
cellent. Ray was direct and simple in 
his description of Cassius, a nice fellow 
who tried to do it all and got fouled up 
in the process. 

Whenever a fight is arranged for me, 
my people always say, “We are going to 
fight Jerry Quarry" or "We will win in 


Tp goes anywhere. With anybody. 4 
ih Areal sport, P. J. Its the bright whiskey that 

^ mixes well. With water. With mixers. 

With friends. The smooth, subtle taste thats 

just right for any occasion. 

Make a new friend. Meet P. J. tonight. 


PJ. is Paul Jones. And smooth. 


Blended Whiskey,8O Proof, 72% Grain Neutral Spirits, Paul Jones Distilling Co., Louisville, Kentucky. 


PLAYBOY 


20 


Bold new 
Brut for men. 
By Fabergé. 


If you have 
any doubts 
about yourself, 
fry something else. 


For after shave, after shower, 
after anything! Brut. 


five rounds.” I quickly learned some 
thing was wrong about that "wc." When 


"we" reached the ring and the bell 
clanged, all of a suddo “me” and 


the other guy in the ring. But the oppo- 
site is true, too, as taxes, contracts, invest- 
ments and picking opponents are not my 
bag. Learning and applying my skill is 
enough. T think this was Clay's mistake. 
He tried to handle everything. He is a 
great boxer and a great showman, but no 
one man can be everything, 

Joc Frazi 

Philadelphi 


Pennsylyan 


I found Sugar and Clay most enjoy- 
able. I don't like Clay's mouth, but there 
is one thing you can't take away from 
him, and that is, the man can box, The 
Boxing Commission took his title be- 
cause he refused to be inducted into the 
Armed Forces. Maybe Clay was wrong, 
but the Boxing Commission, in my opin- 
ion, is worse than Clay could ever be; it 
allowed the man's rcligion, and probably 
his race, to cloud its judgment. Clay's 
crown should not have been taken away 
until he was convicted, but apparently 
the commission could care less. 

Jack E. Johnson, Jr. 
Imperial, California 


A GIFT OF ROFFS 

What with the world being in the state 
that it’s in, it's mot very often you get 
a chance to laugh. For myself, at least, 
your Christmas issue was a Chris 
present of humor, from Woody ^ 
Snow White? to Joseph Heller's Love, 
Dad, from Playboy's Christmas Cards 
to the jokes and cartoons. Thanks again 
for a magni ue—and the price- 
less gift of laughter. 


Nat Goodman 
Brooklyn, New York 


THE BADBOOK WRITERS 
Ir. Skow’s reporting, in The Harold 
bins Co. (rLavwoy, December 1969), 
ves a little to be desired. His sug- 
gestion that “sales of The Exhibitionist 
picked up smartly and capriciously, only 
when Henry Sutton tumed out to be 
David Slavitt, a young poet gone wrong" 
makes for a nice conceit, but is not 
accurate. My "cover" was blown a month 
belore publication date by a story i 
the New York Post and, the next day, 
The New York Times, There was no 
me at which the book "did poorly in 
the bookstores,” as Skow suggests. 
Ina larger, more poetic way, of course, 
he is quite right to be fanciful, make it 
up and fit it into the myths he carries 
around with him. That he turns me into 
“a kind of little all-American Faust" is 
flauering, I guess. But mythmaking is the 
ame of the game, and Skow is as much 
a sob sister as any of us. 

David R. Slavitt, President 

The Henry Sutton Co. 

Miami, Florida 


I suppose John Skow could do poor 
Mr. Robbins no greater diservice than 
luating him along with the grannics. 
Candidly, I'm. not distressed by Mr. R. 
nor by the later stream-of-unconscious- 
ness boys and girls. 
Pornography bores me, whether hard- 
core or “sentimental.” I've thought for 
some time that the candid (rather than 
Candide) wend in fiction is strangling a 
healthy manifestation of human nature 
—and you will forgive Whistler's grand- 
ma for asking plaintively whatever hap- 
pened to romantic love, which was (and 
rightly so) also concerned with s-x? 
Oh, well, Mary Quant is said 10 be 
bringing back the romantic-novel look— 
and recently, in Cleveland, where 1 spoke 
with other writers, I heard Sybil Leek pre- 
dict that the fever has dropped and if one 
plans to write any kind of pornography. 
My felicitati 
brilliant and very funny article. 
Taith Baldwin 
Norwalk, Connecticut 


Forgive the treasurer's report, but, de- 
spite tremendous. muscle from the out- 
side to keep it under wraps, The King 
sold, in America, 49.000 copies in its 
hardcover cdi ad 2,500,000. copies 


s s British hardcover 
edition and has so far sold 500.000 cop 
in its British paperback. The King died 
broke? Mr. Skow should 
for 120 yea n dic as broke as 
The King and the undersigned 

Morton Cooper 

Stamford, Connecticut 


ive and be well 
and th 


John Skow accuses me of wri 
“granny novels" and having only g 
ny readers. Over the past ten years, my 
secretaries and I have been keeping score 
on my cnormous fan mail and found 
Unt over 78 percent of my readers were 
young men. I have never written a sweet 
romance; My novels are about men, es- 
pet ns, venal 
industrialists, etc; my comparatively few 
women fins often complain of the lack 
ad love in my novels, Yes, 1 
have been a grandmother since I was 39. 
‘The girls in my family didn't wait until 
they were dried-up ladies in their late 
20s and early 30s 10 experience sex. 

The thing that impressed me more 
than anything else was Skow's constant 
usc of $1,000,000 terms. I could just sce 
him licking his lips with envy. An enter- 
tainer supported and advanced by the 
mob is given tender loving care in the 
press and builds up a fortune, even 
though he can't entertain. But let a 
novelist make a little money and the 
ics are outraged. 


ally warmongers, politic 


of romance 


Taylor Caldwell 
Bulfalo, New York 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


ust to show Spiro Agnew that we're not 
J mong those effete intellectual snobs 
c always criticizing things, we'd 
like to say a few kind words about the 
Pentagon. Smug, peaceniks condemn it at 
the drop of a bomb for such peccadilloes 
s its mind-expanding budget and its 
scorched-earth policy in Vietnam—but 
they simply haven't looked at all five 
sides of the question. Admittedly, this 
much-maligned institution has shown a 
certain abiding affection for war, but 
this doesnt mean that it likes to see 
people killed. Not American people, at 
any rate. 

By way of proving that it regards the 
death of U.S. fighting men as a basi- 
cally undesirable by-product of war, the 
Department of Delense has allocated 
$600,000 to the University of Mississippi's 
psychology department for a three-year 
study of the use of birds as replacements 
for men in the war game. According 
to the contract, reports The Washington 
Daily News, the project will evaluate 
the efficiency of such winged warriors 
in defense activities that are danger 
ous, difficult, expensive or boring. This 
would seem to encompass all military 
activities, but the contract cites only 
such possibilities as “aerial photography, 
gunnery, steering of missiles, detection of 
mines and search-and-destroy missions. 
Despite the obvious humanitarian impli 
cations, there are those who might think 
that $600,000 for such a study is some- 
what extravagant; but we'd like to point 
out that the same amount pays for only 
about two minutes of wartime as it is 
now fought by humans in Vietnam- 
ich mcans that, dollar for dollar, birds 
are a much beuer buy. 

Even if the University of. Mississippi 
finds that birds make suitable soldiers, 
the Pentagon faces some tough interroga- 
tion by Congress before funds for the 
full fowlization of our military are ap- 
propriated. We can imagine the con- 
sternation of some Senators when il 
proposal comes before their committees. 
We hope the birdmen of the Pentagon 
will prepare their case well, for they will 
have to defend themselves against the 
attacks of both the anti-Pentagon forces, 


who 


who loudly claim that this is just 
another wild Pen za, 
and the promilitary faction, who will 
resent the implication that America’s 
Armed Forces could be handled better 
by a bunch of birdbrains. Imagine the 
scene in the committce room of Missis- 
sippi's Senator Stenni 

“General, did I understand you right? 
You plan to make the security of this 
nation—indeed, of the entire Western 
world—the responsibility of birds?” 

"Well, Senator. I'll admit it sounds a 
little strange at first, but we have this 
professor at the University of Mississippi 
who has been doing research into this 
matter. His results prove that birds are 
not only adequate in many military ca- 
pacities but can actually perform some 
functions far more efficiently than men.” 

“Indeed. And just how do you plan to 
go about the organizing and training of 
this exotic force?” 

“We would probably have to build 
new training areas in those parts of the 
country that would offer good climatic 
conditions—probably im the Southern 
United States. Mississippi would be ide 
al. And training procedures would have 
to be developed. through research, most 
of which would be done by the Universi- 
ty of Mississippi, since it did the basic 
work in this area.” 

"Your plan docs have some merit, at 
that. Do you have any questions, Senator 
Symington?” 

“L certainly do. I've always known war 

was for the birds, but I'd like to know 
just how you plan to deploy this flock of 
yours to ensure a surprise attack 
by a squadron of Chinese chickadees or 
Cuban parakeets.” 
n addition to SAC bird bases in 
secret locations throughout the U.S. and 
the free world, Senator, we also have in 
mind a highly trained, highly mobile 
wing, some elements of which will be 
airborne at all times." 

"But, General, have you taken into 
account the possibility that the Commu- 
nist bloc might develop a new weapon 


that could completely neutralize our de- 
fense effort—an electronic mating call, 
hallucinogenic birdseed, anti-birdcraft BB 


guns or something even more sinister?” 
“Yes, sir, we've considered all that. We 
feel that there is no insurance against 
being preempted by a technological 
breakthrough; but part of any nation 
defense program involving birds of w 
would be adequate funding for research 
and development of a viable ornitholog- 
ical deterrent to enemy counterattack. 
But I'd like to go on record, Senator, 
saying that there is no bird in the world 
that can lick the American eagle." 
Once the appropriations hurdle is 
cleared, the range of possibilities for 
anding the program is infinite: 
igcons could be trained to foul enemy 
leaders whenever they appeared publicly; 
vigilant hawks could maintain constant 
surveillance of hostile territory (such as 
college campuses) for signs of subversive 
peace doves; albatrosses could act as 
mikazes by hanging themselves around 
the necks of enemy generals; owls could 
question prisoners with a relentless 
"Who? Who?"; peacocks could replace 
rear-echelon staff officers, with no loss of 
sh or strut. In terms of administration, 
the Audubon Society could certainly take 
over all of Rand's functions as a mili- 
tary think tank, and Alfred Hitchcock 
would be the natural choice for chai 
man of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 
The use of this mercenary force, of 
course, would not be entirely without its 
problems. Considering the proclivity of 
birds of a feather for flocking together— 
sometimes called the Jim Crow syndrome 
—it may be difficult to enforce the policy 
of desegregation that presently prevails 
throughout the Armed Forces. Wars, fur- 
thermore, may have to be scheduled sc: 
sonally, since entire divisions will go 
winging South in the falL And what 
punishment will the law mete out to à 
hunter who inadvertently shoots down 
the Chief of Naval Operations? Should 
the penalty be less severe if the officer is 
out of uniform? Would it be unseemly to 
stuf a fallen hero? Or to cat him? But 
surely these difficulties will not prove 
insurmountable to the organization that 
gave us the F-111. 
Once these initial bugs have been 
ironed out, a glorious new day may be 


23 


PLAYBOY 


24 


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WE TREATMENT = AND OTHER FINE GRCOMING PRODUCTS 


on hand: animals of all descriptions, 
land-bound as well as 
sume the tiresome chores of military secu- 
rity and rc. We might, for example, 
train an elite corps of ground hogs to 
undermine enemy fortifications and in- 
filtrate underground bunkers. Snakes, 
spiders and skunks could take over chem- 
ical warfare with a vengeance, and dol- 
phins (although they may be too smart 
to play the game) would make a fine 
submarine service. With this 
complete, military casualties would there- 
after be dismissed as lightly as the usual 
assault on our wildlife by sportsmen, 
forest fires and automobiles; defense 
budgets would be cut to a fraction of 
their present levels and the protest 
movement would be reduced to a cru- 
sade without a cause. But there's one 
deadly drawback: Just as the m 
breathed a collective sigh of relief in the 
belief that social tranquillity had 
turned to America, a militant new 
war organization would rear its head. 
The SDS would be replaced by the 
A. S.P. C. A. 


airborne, can as- 


€-over 


“yagi SCHOOLERS PUT OUT DAILY," de- 
clared the University of Oklahoma's stu. 
dent newspaper in a banner headline. 
Hoping for a hot story from the front 
lines of the sexual revolution, we were 
disappointed to discover that the day's 
edition of the paper had been assembled 
by 25 visiting high school journalists. 


"With typical Br 
The Times of London carri 
lowing classified ad: “Man needed to 
play part of Beethoven in small film. 
Must be good p e 

Our 1970 census takers are in for a 
big surprise, if you can believe this U. P. 
release from Waco, Texas: “Almost 
11,000,000 persons live in Texas, an 
crease of about 11,120,000 since April 
1940." 


ish understatement, 
l the fol- 


The Los Angeles Free Press and other 
newspapers, both above and below ground, 
now run advertisements for shaved-beaver 
films. 

The Chicago Daily News reports that 
a West Berliner asked the Russian army 
at the border for asylum in the Soviet 
Union: "Ihe Russian army apparendy 
knows a nut when it sees one. It called 
the West Berlin police." 

An outdoor bulletin board of a Bap- 
tist church in Richmond, Virginia, en- 
courages passersby to COME IN AND GET 
YOUR FAITH LIFTED. 

Our Ohio correspondent telly us that a 
mayor's commiuee formed to solve Tole- 
do's meeting-space problems had to delay 


av 
Jara laug The 


pitta - 


“The Best In The House” in 67 lands 


Lufthansa, the German airline. 

We ordered the world's largest 
and fastest jetliner, the Boeing 747, 
two months after Boeing had deci- 
ded to build it. 

We made up our minds faster 
than most airlines. (In fact we were 


the second to order it.) Not because 
we needed the 747 faster. But be- 
cause it has always been our policy 
to fly you with the most advanced 
equipment. 

(Lufthansa was the first airline 
in the world to have the Boeing 737. 


The Americans were 
the first to have it, of course. 


PS 


The first in Europe to have the 

Boeing 727. And we'll be the first in 

the world to have the 747 freighter.) 
But right now you're probably 

more curious about our nice new 

plane than about our nice policy. 
Here are some facts. 


f 


But look who’s second. 


The 747 is 231 feet long, and the 
top of the tail is higher than a five- 
story building. 

Each of its four engines has 
approximately twice the power of 
the largest commercial jet engine 
in use today. Yet inside the plane 


it's even quieter than in current 
jetliners. 

The cabin is 20 feet wide and 185 
feet long. It's divided into five sec- 
tions. So that each looks like a big 
living room.In four rooms we'll show 
movies. One is reserved for people 


© 


` 


who don't want to watch movies. It's 
also the first plane with two aisles. 
And a plane with a bar-lounge 
upstairs. 

Which is about the nicest place 
to have a drink to the new era of 
aviation. 


Lufthansa 


91969—Hert System, Ine. 


Eight things our car can do 
that your car can’t. 


1. Our car can change shape. It can 
become a convertible. A station wagon. 
A luxury sedan. Even a sports car. 


Your car 


1. Hopefully, your car won’t change 
its shape while you own it. 


2. Our car is disposable. When you're 
finished using it, leave it behind at any 
Hertz office. Which means practically 
everywhere. 


2, Your wife may ask questions if you 
don’t bring your car home. 


3. Our carruns when yours doesn’t. 
If your car breaks down, we have a 
Ford or other fine car waiting to 
replace it. 


3. The repair man saysit'll just bea 
few more days. 


4. Our car is waiting at almost every 
major airport. A simple, local phone 
call to a Hertz office will reserve it for 
you—worldwide. 


4. Your car is at one airport. Probably, 
the one you just left. 


5. Our car can be rented quickly. 
Hertz rental representatives can help 
you get out of the Hertz office almost as 
fast as you got into it. 


5. You can probably get into your car 
just as fast, but you won’t have a 
pretty Hertz counter girl to help you. 


6. Our car replaces itself every year 
or so. It’s almost impossible to rent an 
old car from Hertz. 


6. You can match us on this point, but 
it might be expensive. 


7. Our car inspects itself before 

you drive it, with the help of some 
highly skilled personnel who make the 
19-point checkup standard Hertz 
practice. 


7. If you made our 19-point checkup 
every morning, you’d probably be late 
for work. 


8, Our car and a plane can actually 
save you money on a business trip. 


8. Figure road expenses, overnight 
accommodations, food, depreciation 
and wasted time, and you’ll see 
What we mean. 


Abetter way to go. 


its first meeting when it could find no 
place to meet. 

gs being what they are these days, 
Harvard University Press officials were 
only mildly surprised when, at a national 
conference on crime and delinquency 
recently held in Boston, 28 books from 
rd exhibit, most of them on 
ect of crime, were stolen. 


An issue of The 


New York Times 


carried an 


ing it as “the love story of Hamlet 
Ophelia,” and proclaiming in even 
larger letters, “From the author of Ro- 
meo and Juliet.” 


We are pleased to learn from The 
Wall Street Journal that the Cornell 
University library is seeking donations of 


early issues of rLavnoy. The library bul- 
letin announced that such contributions 
are tax deductible, and went on to say, 
“Early issues are almost unattainable on 
the scholarly book market, especially in 
complete state, with the centerfold that 
researchers are known to find of particu- 
lar interest." 


ACTS AND 
ENTERTAINMENTS 


Vie Demone is one of those quietly 
dynamic masters of the vocal art who 
can handle a Jimmy Van Heusen love 
lyric or a Jim Webb ballad with equal 
asc. When Vic strolled onto the stage 
of the Empire Room in Chicago's Palmer 
House, he looked lor all the world as 
if he were window-shopping—exeept for 
the microphone in his hand. But he wa 
soon working his wonders on middle- 
aged mothers and miniboppers alike. Da 
mone prefers to perform right out there 
among his audiences; finding that difficult 
to do in a place the size of the Empire 
Room, he completely killed the house 
lights and called for a single spot. Then, 
alone in its radiant ring, he drew the 
crowd close to him with only the warmth 
of his voice working over such contempo- 
rary classics as The Look of Love and 
Little Green Apples. Nest, he sang What 
Good Is My Life? and a cute young thing 


nearby seemed cager to volunteer an 
answer. He did, in fact, borrow an 
honestto-God. member of the audience 
for an impromptu bump and grind that 
ed to the relaxed atmosphere of his 
ight years ago. while doing a run at 
another Chicago club, Damone discovered 
his current musical director, pianist Joe 
Parnello. Since that time, Parnello has 
put together a ba 

as it backs the star’s efforts in the best 
manner of supporting casts throughout 
showbiz. After a dozen numbers, Da- 
mone had put himself and the audience 


d that belts or caresses 


"YO 


», Jg 


DA 


i). 


sHAI 


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25 


PLAYBOY 


26 


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through an emotional wringer. The open- 
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1 Hear Music, and that everyone did—for 
sure. 


BOOKS 


Seriousness, Saul Bellow recently said, 
is what is needed in both novel and 
novelist. His Imes work, Mr. Sammler's 
Planet (Viking), is, indeed, serious, Arthur 
Sammler, a man in his 70s mutilated 
by this century's history, lives in that 
fierce vortex of disintegration, New York 
City, where he sees traditional values 
ripped and tossed like a rag doll in a 
mustifs mouth. One eye smashed to 
blindness, and left for dead by a Nazi 
murder squad, the cultured Jew Sammler 
somehow crawled back Ie. to new 
threats and new savageries. Rescued by a 
relative, the rich American Dr. Gruner, a 
figure who combines compassion and cor 
ruption in true Bellow style, Sammler 
and his bizarre daughter take up tesi- 
dence in familiar territory, the West Side 
of New York, transient home of another 
of the author's badly mauled heroes, 
Tommy Wilhelm of Seize the Day. Here, 
ane senses, is where the author catches 
the hot fumes of our topside purgatory 
t its most sulphurous, and here 
ler and his strange relatives con 
one another in postures of love, lust and 
lostness. Symbol of the times and of the 
ure of this novel with- 


eschatological 
out à conventional story line is a 
splendent Negro pickpocket who exposes 
himself to Sammler in a scene whose 
mute and terrifying power captures and 
illuminates this moment in our history. 
Once again. in Mr. Sammler's Planet, the 
seriousness that lies at the heart of every 
Bellow work is forcefully present. 


re- 


Psychotherapists might be wise these 
days to beware of patients bearing gifts. 
because the gift may turn out to be 
Games Analysts Play (Putnam), by Dr. 
Martin Shepard and Marjorie Lee. The 
book is hardly likely to make Dr. Shep- 
amb popular with his colleagues, who 
may resent his exposure of some of the 
tricks of their trade (e.g. a useful device 
employed by the therapist who, having 
almost fallen asleep, leans forward as 
though suddenly struck with the impor- 
tance of the patient's Tast remarks, 
which in actuality he hasn't heard, 
invites portentously, "Say that again"). 
But the book won't necessarily please 
patients, either, especially those who 
want to believe that psychoanalysts are 
a superior breed. It is this particular 
fallacy that Dr. Shepard wants to pime- 
ture, since he is convinced that it ham- 
pers the therapeutic process. It leads to 
and 


id 


ames exist when- 
avior (in word, 


deed or silence) is used to disguise his 
true feelings.” Thus, when an analyst is 
bored, feels guilty over fees, is hostile to 
a patient or becomes sexually responsive, 
he uses sleight of mouth to conceal the 
truth, He dare not admit that he is a 
human being. But it’s precisely as a 
human being that, in Dr. Shepard's judg- 
ment, he can be of most help to his pa 
tient. Because it describes patterns that 
will be familiar to many analysts and 
patients, this book may change the name 
of the game from ringaroumdz-rosy to 
truth or consequences. There is no game 
playing for Arnold Rogow, professor of 
political science at the City College of 
New York, who analyzes the analysts in 
The Psychiatrists (Putnam). Rogow por 
trays psychiatrists and. psychoanalysts as 
functioning members of contemporary so- 
ciety, "people like everyone else and. if 
anything, more responsible.” Thus, it is 
to find that many 


gly concerned 
with individual problems as reflections 
of social problems. The new awareness 
of a need for social change to promote 
the growth of healthy human being 
holds great promise for American society, 
use. as Rogow indicates, today's psy- 
trists and analysts have among their 
patients some of the most influential 
figures in contemporary politics and the 
arts. Even among the great. the twisted 

stricted values first crystallized by 
may yet be altered by 
gate by the couch, the 


that gr 


psychi: 


uil, fear and rage. These emotions 
are the currency of any discussion of 
Picking Up the Gun (Dial), a quietly [right- 
ening book about the Black Panthers 
Written by Earl Anthony, a Panther 
leader until his expulsion a year ago, 
this thetoricfree report depends for its 
effect almost as much upon the reader as 
upon the writer, Today, Huey Newton 
and Bobby Seale are in jail, Cleaver is in 
exile, Stokely and Rap have split, many 
have been expelled and many killed— 
most by police, some by other blacks. 
And of the 2000 or 3000 Panthers still 
loyal, all but a few must be well known 
to the local police and the FBI. So wh: 
have they accomplished? Anthony would 
sty a lot—and he'd be right; for the 
Panthers, whatever their failures and 
their own excursions into senseless vio: 
lence, have brought pride even to blacks 
who have no intention of joining them 
To sec black men, on TV or in the 
newspapers. standing up to the cops h 
had an enormous effect. And pride com 
eth before a fight. Anthony has no doubt 
that the Panthers are invariably right in 
the confrontations that have cost lives on 
both sides; but although the police cer- 
tainly harass and hound them, as even 


he courts do sometimes, we cannot be so 
certain. More important, however, than 


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28 


Only Marantz Has Gyro- 


Whats a Marantz? 


Any audio engineer or stereo hobbyist 
will tell you. Marantz builds the world's 
finest high-fidelity components. And has 
for fifteen years 

This message. therefore. is not to 
engineers but to professional musicians, 
serious music-lovers, and beginning 
stereo hobbyists. We'd like to introduce 
you to Marantz, 

Never Heard Of Marantz? 

Until this year, the least-expensive 
Marantz stereo component you could buy 
cost $300.00. And our FM tuner alone cost 
$750.00! To own a Marantz. you either 
had to be moderately wealthy or willing 
to put beans on the table for awhile. But 
it was worth it. And a lot of experts 
thought so, too, because the word soon got 
around, and the products sold themselves. 

What The Competition Said 

The chief design engineer of a major 
competitor once said that no one even 
tries to compete with many of Marantz’ 
sophisticated features; it would be just 
too expensive. Marantz designs its circuits 
the same way the aerospace industry 
designs missiles and jet planes — for 
utmost performance and reliability. 


Gyro-Touch Tuning 


Marantz even offers a different tuning 
experience because you rotate the actual 
tuning flywheel. This results in the. 


smoothest, most precise tuning possible. 
And this Marantz-exclusive design 
requires considerably fewer moving parts 
than conventional systems used by 
other manufacturers. The 
benefits: reduced 
friction, wear, 
and service 
problems, 
We call this 
patented pleasure 
“Gyro-Touch Tuning.” 
Features, Not Gimmicks 
The unique features of a Marantz 


component are there for only one purpose: 


to make possible the highest level of 
listening enjoyment 

That's why we put an oscilloscope in 
ovr best components. 

An oscilloscope is kind of a TV tube. 
But instead of the Wednesday Night 
Movie, it shows you a green wavy line. 
An electronic picture 
of the incoming FM 
radio signal, telling 
you exactly how to 
rotate your antenna 
for minimum multi- 
path distortion (ghost 
signals) and maximum signal strength 
(clarity) even from the weakest stations. 

The “scope” also shows correct stereo 
phasing: that is, if the broadcasting 
transmitter or your equipment is out of 
phase. And it lets you set up optimum 
stereo performance and reception to 


create a solid “wall” of sound 


Butterworth Filters 

You've probably never heard of 
Butterworth filters because practically no 
one else uses them besides Marantz. And 
the US. Military. Other manufacturers 
feel they can get by without them. 
And they can. Because their standards 
don't have to measure up to 
Marantz’. Butterworth 
filters let 


you hear music 
more clearly, with less 
distortion; and unlike their 
conventional I.F. coil or filter counterparts, 
they never need realignment. They help 
pull in distant FM stations and separate 
those right next to each other on the dial. 
Although Butterworths cost more. 
Marantz designed not one but four of 
them into their Model 18 receiver, 
Built To Last 

Marantz stereo components aren't 
built in the ordinary way. For example, 
instead of just soldering connections 
together with a soldering iron, Marantz 
uses a highly sophisticated waveflow 
soldering machine— the type demanded 
by the Military. The result: perfect, fail- 


Touch Tuning! 


proof connections every time. 
Even our printed circuit boards are a 
to rigid 


military specifications, ensuring rugged- 
ness and dependability. 
Marantz Power Ratings Are True 

When someone tells you he has a 
“100-watt amplifier“ ask him how the 
power was rated. Chances are his 100 
watts will shrink to about 75 or 50 or 
perhaps even as few as 25. The reason 
is that most manufacturers of stereo 
amplifiers measure power by an inflated 
“peak power" or “IHF music/dynamic 
power.” 

Marantz stales its power as “RMS 
continuous power” because Marantz 
believes this is the only method of 
measurement that is a true, absolute, 
scientific indication of how much power 
your amplifier can put out continuously 
over the entire audible frequency range 

But if Marantz were to use the 


unscientific conventional method, our 
Model Sixteen 100 RMS-100 power 
amplifier could be rated as high as 
300 watts . 

Moreover, you can depend on Marantz 
to perform, For example, the Marantz 


Model Sixteen can be run all day at 
its full power rating without distortion 
(except for neighbors pounding on your 
wall). That's power. And that’s Marantz. 
Marantz Speaks Louder Than Words 


In a way, it's a shame we have to get 
even semitechnical to explain in words 
what is best described in the medium of 
sound. For, after all, Marantz is for the 
listener. No matter what your choice in 
music, you want to hear it as closely as 
possible to the way it was performed. 

In spite of what the ads say, you can't 
really “bring the concert hall into your 
home.” For one thing. your listening room 
is too small. Its acoustics are different. 
And a true concert-hall sound level (in 
decibels) at home would deafen you 

What Marantz does, however, is 
create components that most closely 
recreate the sounds exactly as they 
were played by the musical performers. 
Components that consistently 
represent “where it's at” in 
stereo design. No one 
gives you as much—in any 
price range—as Marantz. 

Every Marantz Is Built 
The Same Way 

Every Marantz component, 
regardless of price, is built 
with the same painstaking 


craftsmanship and quality materials. 
That's why Marantz guarantees every 
instrument for three full years, parts 
and labor. 

Now In All Price Ranges 


Today, there is a demand for Marantz- 
quality components in other than very- 
high price ranges. A demand made by 
music-lovers who want the very best but 
must consider their budgets. Though you 
can easily invest more than $2000.00 in 
Marantz components, we now have units 
starting as low as $209. True, these lower- 
priced models don’t have all of the same 
features, but the quality of every Marantz 
is exactly the same. Marantz quality. 

And quality is what Marantz is all 
about 


Hear For Yourself 

So now that you know what makes a 
Marantz a Marantz, hear for yourself. Then 
let your ears make up your mind 


BRB Acm dcin Ww. 


Components = Speaker Systems + Receivers 


Maranta Co. Inc. 1870 A subsidiary cl Superscope, nc, PO, Box 99S, Sun Valley. Calf 91352 Send for tree catalog. usirated above, Model 26. Price $209. 


PLAYBOY 


30 


[en 


PURISTS 


In the wave of a clothing revolu- 
tion, Canterfield stands fast—true 
to traditional standards of styling, 
tailoring and fabrics. 


(nga. 
videt 7 


A Cantorficld classic: 3-button sport coat in muted 
red and beige panel stripes on olive gold. About $55. 


Stightly higher in the West. Where to buy? Write Can- 
terteld Div, Curlee Clothing Co. St. Louis, Mo. 63101 


innocence or guilt in specific encounters 
is the existence of a growing black rage. 
Writing of the incident in which Ne 
ton was seriously wounded. one police 
man Killed and another badly wounded, 
Anthony says, "This rage is what makes 
whatever Huey Newton did that morn- 
ing of October 28 acceptable to me, and 
whatever Frey and Heanes [the police] did 
unacceptable.” Earl Anthony tells us 
what it's like to E nther. He also 
tells us why he was onc. If white Amevi- 
ca doesn't learn, many more blacks may 
decide to pick up the gun themselves. 


What's true of the act itself is imi 
of the book: When How te Make Love 
(Grove), by Locke McCorkle, is good, it's 
very, very good, and when it's bad, 
lousy. Most sex manuals turn out to be 
a kind of Popular Mechanics in bed. Me 
Corkle, on the contrary, makes it clear 
that the spirit and the flesh. one and 
that only by understanding 
can the flesh be aroused. After desc 
what a woman might want of a mi 
during lovemaking, he writes: “When I 
‘the woman wants . l don't 
that she wants in thes same way she 
may want a new dress. In sex, she seldom 
if ever knows what she wants in advance. 
She discovers what she wants, little by 
little, as the lovemaking progresses. It’s 
up to the man to provide a sufficiently 
slow, sensitive and yaried approach, 
that she can find her own way." Al- 
though he 
ent to the matter of positions for 
intercourse and ignores oral pleasures, 
IcCorkle does offer. practical suggestions. 
about how to intensi ple 
and makes it abundantly clear d 
man can't tinker with a woman the 
he does with a car. He doesn't he 
to emphasize the i nce of trust, 
tenderness and meditation as essential 
the art of love. His con- 
ns may startle many a reader. Up 
to the last few pages, his purpose has 
been to point the way to better sex, but 
then he reveals a goal bi 
ous orgasm—"the exper 
der. - . In its simplest terms, the 
consummation takes place when the man 
surrenders himself to the woman, the 
woman surrenders herself to the man 
and they both surrender themselves to 
.” This thought casts a strange light 
on the book, which comes finally to 
sound like a Reader's Digest essay: "How 
to Make Love—and Find God.’ 


Someday we may have a revolution in 
America, but for the moment, the rebels 
are too busy writing Qe some- 


Stein's Rebels im Eden (Little, Brown). 
Rubenstein theorizes that Americans 


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spurn big national revolutions—those 
once-in-alifetime blood baths—in favor 
ol frequent political revolts. These revolts 
are local, territorial. As Rubenstein points 
out, "Domestic mass violence has often 


involved attempts to drive invaders off 
the out-group’s soil and to assert or reas 
sert the group's control over its own 
affairs." This helps explain the riots in 
Watts and elsewhere as more than aim- 
less expressions of discontent. The Sioux 
indulged in the same sort of action when 
they rode against Custer; ditto for the Ku 
Klux Klan when it lynched Negroes and 
carpetbaggers. All were fighting for what 
they regarded as their turf. Rebels are not 
always the good guys, notes Rubenstein, 
but they are invariably the powerless 
and the disaffected. "Today's rebels, he 
is oun are mostly blacks and stu- 
but he never satisfactorily ex- 
plains why students rebel. Can their 
plight be seriously compared with that of 
the blacks? An affirmative answer comes 
from The Student as Nigger (Contact). In 
this spiteful litle essay. which finally 
surfaced after two years of underground 
notoriety, Jerry Farber attempts to prove 
that schools “exploit and enslave stu 
dents” and “petrify socicty.” Students, 
according to Farber, have nothing 10 lose 
but their grades. Well, schools do have 
arbitrary and authoritarian rules; teach- 
ers are often incompetent and admin- 
istrators are sometimes cruel, But the 
student in this society is hardly a “nig 
ger.” and to draw that analogy is to dis- 
play a lamentable callousness toward the 
incomparably deeper sufferings of black 
people. The “best” student revolt to date 
occurred at Columbia University, and 
the best book about it to date is Roger 
Kahn's The Battle for Morningside Heights 
(Morrow). Kahn's subtile is "Why Stu- 
dents Rebel" aud he puts the blame on 
both Columb: nd Vietnam. “It is one 
ing,” he notes, “to be a middle-class 
list, disturbed in an unfair society in 
which your lot is pretty good. It is anoth- 
er to be an idealist who, upon failing 
two or three courses, will be dispatched 
to insensate Asian war.” Vietnam made 
the students edgy, but Columbia itself 
made them radical. Kahn gives details: 
the school’s cynical treatment of its pov 
erty-stricken tenants, families who occu- 
pied shims that Columbia owned for 
profit and expansion; its clandestine 
links with the Pentagon; its attempt to 
stablish “ on Morningside 
Heights. Kahn is a good storyteller; and 
as he goes over the bloody terrain—the 
brutal cops, the suave administrators, the 
noisy leftists, the helpless professors and 
the apple-checked idealists—one becomes 
convinced that this was, indeed, a genu- 
ine rebellion. It was much too anarchic, 
tragic and slapstick to be mere street th 
ter. A different view of campus life by a 
different Kahn is Hervard—Throvgh Change 
and Through Storm (Norton), E. J. Kahn, 


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Jr's loving report on the myths and 
realities of his alma mater, which con- 
cludes that, all things considered, Har- 
vard is rather magnificent in every 
conceivable way, And after reading 
about the school’s remarkable academic 
accomplishments, social attitudes and ap- 
proach to learning, it's hard not to agree 
that America's oldest and richest univer- 
sity is also its most cnlightened. But the 
book is not just a celebration of past 
glories; using last April's SDSJed take 
over of an administration building as a 
focal point, Kahn offers a current ac- 
count of life on the Cambridge campus. 
He has a very warm spot in his heart 
for Harvard's undergraduates (4800 men, 
1200 Radcliffe women), and he considers 
the coeds even more brilliant than the 
men, simply because there are only 300 
openings for women that can be filled 
cach year. Cliffics are in demand, despite 
the Harvard canard that when a Cliffe 
drops a glove and you gallantly stoop to 
pick it up lor her, she steps on your 
hand and says, “That's mine.” As for 
undergraduate males, Kahn feels that 
their academic excellence is surpassed 
only by their entrepreneurial energies 
and their sophisticated sense of humor. 
He notes that in 1967, when the Harvard 
Lampoon published a parody of rrAvnov 
the magazine wound up with a profit of 
$150,000, which it couldn't kecp because 
of its nonprofit nature. Whereupon the 
Lampoon editors lavishly redecorated 
their offices—and even more lavishly re- 
plenished their wine cellar. 


MOVIES 


Over a clock at one end of the ball- 
room hangs a sign asking, HOW LONG CAN 
THEY LAST? The ycar is 1932, the setting 
a tawdry replica of the Aragon ballroom 
in Los Angeles during the depths of the 
Depression. It was the macabre era of 
marathon dances, when hard-time cou- 
ples lured by prizes of hard cash would 
keep moving to the tinny strains of Japa- 
nese Sandman for days, weeks, a month 
if necessary, until they began to halluci- 
nate or collapsed from exhaustion. The 
story of the marathons was never told 
better than in Horace McCoy's 1935 nov- 
el of the same name, They Shoot Horses, 
Don't They?, a cry of existentialist despair 
that found its most receptive audience 
abroad among such authors as Camus 
and Sartre. Filmed by director Sydney 
Pollack from a screenplay by Robert E 
Thompson and James Poe, Horses isn't 
the great movie it might have been, but 
it does score as a flamboyant period piece, 
done up with a certain cheap Hollywood 
Inster that sometimes gleams like the real 
McCoy. The seaside pavilion looks right. 
The costumes and frizzy hairdos look 
right. Gig Young looks very right, as the 
seedy emcee-promoter who uses anguish 
as the raw material to mount one helluva 


ne Fonda looks even bet- 
ter, playing an unemployed movie extra 
named Gloria, for whom scorn and cyn 
cism are the last defensive weapons in 
fight she knows nobody can win. Jane's 
gradual descent from  hit-the-jack-por 
brassiness to humiliation, hopelessness 


show. And Ja 


s to be 


and suicidal grief that app. 
brought on by finding a hole in her silk 
stockings, cloquently expresses what the 
movie is all about. That her wagedy 
doesn't shake us the way it should is 
directly traceable to Pollack, who immu 
nizes an audience to agony by empha- 
sizing nothing else. Even in the bleak 
Depression era, a few young people must 
have gone into marathons with high 
hopes. or at least a bit of enthusiasm for 
dancing Yet Pollack probes thesallow faces 
of the contestants as if he were peering 
through a barbed-wire fence at Buchen. 


wald. Such a heavy spiking of melodrama 
tends to diffuse fine work by Red But 
tons, as the sailor who suffers a heart 
attack; Susannah York, as the would-be 
starlet who goes mad: Michael Sarrazin, 
as a boy who diffidently commits murder; 
and Bonnie Bedelia, as a very pregnant, 
very disadvantaged girl who briefly grabs 
the spotlight, singing The Best Things 
in Life Are Free. It's a misery marathon 


The origins of Tel Them Willie Boy Is 
Here go back to a little-known incident 
in American history, a 1909 man hunt 
through the wilds of Southern California 
for a renegade Indian who committed 
murder in the course of kidnaping his 
intended bride. As re-created by writer- 
director Abraham Polonsky, a onetime 
victim of the Hollywood black lists, the 
story reaches for contemporary social sig- 
nificance—in the attitudes of the pose 
that considers stalking Indians a manly 
sport; in the presence on the reservation 
of a lady superintendent (Susan Clark) 
whose do gooding Eastern liberalism seems 
all mixed up with her sex life; and 
n the relationship between a young 
sheriff (Robert Redford) and Willie Boy 
(Robert Blake, of In Cold Blood), the 
Indian lad whom he grudgingly ad- 
mires but is destined to destroy. Though 
its d 
lie Boy is like the rough outline for a 
good movie rather than a polished work. 
Polonsky hardly ever achieves nuances of 
mood or hones his dialog; and he de- 
mands no more than skin-deep perform- 
ances of his actors, who are just adequate 
—or not even that, in the case of Katha- 
rine Ross (the Graduate gir), pallidly 
playing the kidnaped Indian beauty with 
an accent suitable for Vassar. A sad 
waste all around. 


matic possibilities sound rich, Wil- 


Quick shots of American flags, 
nauis and familiar outbreaks of violence 
establish the social consciousness of End 
of the Road, a {reaked-out movie version 
of John Barth's bizarre novel, more 


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best 


Once in a while KLM hears a 
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bizarre than ever in this adaptation by 
Terry Southern, Dennis McGuire and 
director Aram Avakian. Making his first 
feature after a highly successful carcer as 
a film editor, Avakian makes End of the 
Road completely his own. It is an ugly, 
brilliant, brutal, decadent work based on 
an interpretation of Barth's hero as a 
potential killer, a who feels noth 
ing. is nothing, but plays the various 
roles assigned to him by chance in a 
society famous nowadays for producing 
assassins. Stacy Keach, in his first film 
role, vividly portrays Jake Horner, the 
university gram 
troduced durir 


(James Earl Jones) and, finally, sent to 
teach in a small provincial college, where 
he becomes psychologically and sexua 
enmeshed—to put it mildly 
cr young professor and his attractive wile 
The film's aesthetic decadence lies in a 
gratuitous cruelty of tone, crowned by a 
final scene that smacks less of Barth than 
of scenarist Southern's Dr. Strangelove— 
when the body of the professors wile. 
» who has died during a horren- 


graphic abortion, is dumped into 


while the sound track oozes the 
bluesy ballad Don’t Worry "Hout. Mc. 
Some of Road's excesses 
ges of rape from adn 
book, which treated the campus triangle 
in re ightforward terms as a 


othe 


nipulate one a 
of intellectual o 
wife, Dorothy Tr 
Hanis Yulin as the strangely tolei 
cuckold, n rounds out an electric 
company of New York-based actors who 
project his ideas with tingling authority. 
End of the Road is a repellent yet mes 
merizing trip. 


as Rennit 


The Beades, the late Malcolm X, Rob- 
ert Goulet and a weirdo known to 
the boxing world as Evil Eye Finkel are 
among the celebrities mustered opposite 
Muhammad Ali, formerly Cassius Clay. 
erstwhile world heavyweight champ 
poetaster. whose ringside manne 
spired th 


like a Bee. "I'm the champ, I'm the kin 
Fm the biggest thing in histor 
mouth has overshadowed my ability,” 
says Ali, generating instant charisma as 
the star of a documentary devoted to his 
career from February 1964, when he took 
ng crown, until May 1965, when 
he was retired, unbloodied and undef: 
ed, after beating Sonny Liston in 
uoversial rematch. Though the inner 
man is seldom visible through his flam- 
boyant public image, Ali comes on as 
natural performer and as a surprisingly 


my 


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sympathetic spokesman for racial, reli- 
gious and political militancy. Director 
William Klein only scratches the surface 
of his subject and occasionally reduces 
simple chronology to utter chaos, so that 
Float like a Butterfly is far from the 
definitive documentary it might have 
been, Yet there are some telling glimpses 
of the champ and his steadfast friends 
and foes—teenaged members of a Har- 
You acting class improvising scenes from 
the life of Cassius le 
disgr 


Louisvil 


nd, or the 
ntled businessman speaking for a 
c boxing syndicate: "I have no 
desire to profit—but hc is a little un- 
grateful,” But another view is expressed 
with disarming candor by an aide, who 
declares: “He doesn't smoke, he doesn't 
drink, he doesn't cheat, he doesn't forni- 
cate and he doesn’t commit adultery. 


Hal Wallis of Hollywood mounts a 
stylish Tudor reproduction of Maxwell 
Anderson’s 1948 drama, Anne of the 
Thousand Days, and the movie works re- 
markably well as an old-fashioned show- 
piece for two actors. At stage center, 
Richard Burton pours boiling oil into 
Anderson's relatively sympathetic por- 
trayal of Henry VIII as a spoiled, tem- 
peramental monarch whose passion to 
beget male progeny drove him to ruth- 
les deeds. Burton's bluebeard isn't quite 
as much fun as the 
Charles Laughton played, but it is prob. 
ably ter to history. Take this as the 
standard text, lifted out of the ordinary 
by Canadian-born Genevieve Bujold's 
fecting portrait of Anne Boleyn. Does 
the plot need repeating? Anne recounts 
how a dever and titled country girl 
catches the eye of the lusty king, plays 
hard to get for six long years and finally 
wins a throne by goading him to divorce 
his Queen Katherine (Irene Papas) de- 
spite the threat of excommunication 
from the Church at Rome. Miss Bujold 
commandingly portrays the romantic, 
impulsive teenager who blossoms into 
ambitious womanhood and courts the ex- 
ecutioner by developing a taste for pow- 
er. All the great historical moments—the 
wooing, the wedding, the pregnanci 
the bitter trial for 
mate behe 


creenland car 


ture 


dultery and the ulti- 
ding—snap to life whenever 
Wallis! sumptuous tapestry is left in Miss 
Bujold’s capable hands. 


Between visits fom two police inspec- 
tors, a svelte suburban wife (Stephane 
Audran) faces her stolid French husband 
(Michel Bouquet) in a rather tense mo- 
ment of togetherness. She knows that he 
knows she has been slipping into Paris for 
meetings with a lover. And he knows 
that she knows all too well how he has 
dealt with the roving bachelor (Mau- 
rice Ronet), whose battered body lies 
swathed in bedclothes at the bottom of a 
country pond. The errant wife now 
gards her husband with new respect and 


satisfaction. Unfortunately, this grabby 
scene occurs near the end of Le Femme 
Infidele, writer-director Claude (The 
ins) Chabrol's subducd, joyless and some- 
what archaic essay on the wages of sin 
Like many another veteran of France's 
Nouvelle Vague—a clique of film makers 
who apparently intend to pose as young 
and promising until they are well into 
middle age—Chabrol creates a style coolly 
calculated to conceal the fact that he has 
almost nothing new to say about marital 
infidelity. 


Rous 


Enter a dark, handsome stranger in 
Savile Row threads and with a license to 
kill, Can it be 007? Bloody likely. De- 
spite the fact that Sean Connery is no 
longer serving up karate chops and bons 
mots, On Her Mojesty's Secret Service— 
which first appeared in the pages of 


reavnov—is in every way a genuine 
James Bond film adventure, and new 
comer George Lazenby as the new Jami 
Bond does very well at it, thank you. 
This well-mannered chap also knows 
when a lady caviar is Beluga, or her 
perfume L'Heure Bleue; he leaps from 
bed to bed with unfailing potency. and 
even steals a PLAYBOY centerfold from 
one of his foes. Though Lazenby is a bit 
smaller in stature than Connery, the 
mov 


ers are quick to demonstrate 
that their new Bond issue can handle 


himself in any situation from a three 


man game of fisticulls to a downhill 
getaway on one ski—a gut-clutching s 
quence that's soon followed by a slam- 
bang stock-car race on ice and a wild 
bobsled chase. Lovely Diana Rigg plays 
the ubiquitous bride-to-be, outshining a 
bevy of brainwashed sex goddesses em 
ployed by master criminal Telly Savalas 
to sterilize the human race with a cun 
zed atomizers that 


ning toxin in purs 
might pass for perfume. The producers 
of Secret Service have, indeed, pulled 
off a double-barreled coup. Not only is 
the film one of tie best in the Bond 
series, it’s so visually appealing and well 
written that by the end you've ceased 
to notice that Lazenby isn’t Connery. 
It’s superlative Bond—by George! 


M.A.S.H. is an antiwar movie with 
buckets of blood but no battle scenes, 
stirring significance but mo sermons, 
most all of it ballsy, hilarious and horri- 
bly convincing. The movie's title (an acro- 
nym for Mobile Army Surgical Hospital) 
only faintly suggests the ribald GI humor 
dispensed by Donald Sutherland, Elliott 
Gould and Tom Skerritt, playing three 


somewhat cynical Army surgeons who— 


whenever they aren't swapping insults 
across an open wound in the surgical hut 
—Traise unholy hell around a field hospi- 
talon the 38th parallel during the Korean 
War. It might as well be any war, be- 
cause M. A. S. H.'s real concern as a com- 
edy is the indomitably civilian spirit of 


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American soldiers, or any soldiers, whose 
survival kits contain grab-ass jokes. filthy 
curses for every occasion, plus 1001 ways 
to get a nurse out of her khaki. Director 
Robert Altman catches the grinding rou- 
tine of Service life. Helicopters whirl- 
ing in hour after hour with their cargo 
of torn bodies are the only visible 
signs of war, yet the endless, bloody 
drudgery of trying to keep up with the 
abstract slaughter explains everything: 
why one Scripturespouting major (Rob- 
ert Duvall) gets horny over a nurse and 
has to be taken away in a st cket; 
why the nurse, known to officers and en- 
lised men as Hot Lips (played by Sally 
Kellerman), finally throws away her 
cherished book of Army regulations. 
While bureaucratic order disintegrates, 
the camp's publicaddress system keeps 
on blaring periodic announcements of 
shortarm inspection and the weekly 
schedule of movies, mostly gutsand-glory 
epics such as The Halls of Montezuma. 
The scenarist, and bully for him, was 
Ring Lardner, Jr.. working [rom a novel 
pseudonymous author Richard Hook- 
former Army medic who obviously 
learned more than onc way to keep 
people in stitches. 


Rewriting history in order to jell the 
plot of a glossy spy thriller produces big, 
brainless movies such as Topar, adapted 
from the big, brainless best seller by Leon 
Uris. If you liked the book, you're wel- 
come to the movie, in which John For- 
sythe, as a stalwart CIA type, uncovers 
the Cuban. missile crisis of 1962, helped 
and hindered by a high-ranking Soviet 
defector, a French-intelligence chap. a 
gorgeous leader of Cuba's anti-Castro un- 
derground (Karin Dor, who plays the 
part as if she actually believes it, death 
scene and all), plus a band of pro-Soviet 
French diplomais whose ide is con- 
cealed behind the code word, Topaz. Po- 
litically and historically, Topaz hardly 
ever makes sense, least of all when its 
globe-trotters get around to a place dis 
ised as Havana, where Miss Dor docs 
her anti-Castro thing wearing a designer 
be (Edith Head and Pierre Bal- 
main share screen credit) that should 
have yelled security risk to Fidel's hairy 
utenants. She also smuggles some film 
strips to her French lover, and that's how 
Central Intelligence determines the pres 
ence of Russian missile sites in Cuba 
(never mind those U.S. reconnaissance 
planes, which collected photographic evi- 
dence the easy way—we can't have a 
beautiful spy in bed with a U-2). Topaz 
was directed by Alfred Hitchcock. of all 
people, whose sophistication stops d. 
when he escalates from straight suspense 
to devious politics. 


wardr 


ad 


The Molly Maguires was a secret society 
of terrorists, made up of Irish coal min- 
ers in Pennsylvania, who embarked on a 


campaign of death and destruction circa 
1876, when they had exhausted all other 
remedies in their fight for decent work- 
ing conditions. Sean Connery, as a crusty 
leader of the gang, squares off opposite 
Richard Harris, as a Philadelphia de- 
tective who infiltrates their ranks and 
brings the guilty to the gallows, but not 
until he has so awakened to the justice 
of their cause that he knows they will die 
better men than he, There is à strong 
story outlined here by writer Walter 
Bernstein. and director Martin. (Hud) 
Ritt, who somehow make every possible 
mistake in telling it We know where 
they stand on all the sticky moral ques 
s a paid informer must juggle in 
self justification: they deplore violence 
and anarchy as much as they deplore 
police repression—and we sense an at 
tempt to say something serious, without 
the usual heroics. Unfortunately. the 
movie is ham-handed and literal in exe- 
cution, a model of what can happen 
when journeyman talents tackle a theme 
"s a size too large for them. From 
conventional scenes of wilddrish by 
ing, Ritt. proceeded to conventional lyri- 
cism with a doubled colleen (winningly 
ed by nta Eggar). Even the 
bleak coal-town setting looks false and 
nestly poetic, as though no wor 
hardened man. weary woman or hungry 
child ever walked through its squalor un- 
less called upon to animate the next big 
scene. 


Revolutionary boy meets girl, moves 
in with girl—and loses girl for a spell as 
a result of his participation im protest 
movements on the campus at Berkele 
Life is as simple as that in The Act 
a topical drama starring two real-life stu- 
dent dissidents, Michael Smith and Leslie 
Gilbrun, whose extracurricular sched- 
ules evidently left no time for learning 
10 act. Courtship, in this brave new 
world, consists of walking on a wind 
swept seashore, getting carried out of 
buildings by the fuzz and wondering 
where all the flowers have gone. Against 
a background of authentic settings, direc- 
tor and coauthor Art Napoleon con- 
trives a flattish blend of fact and fiction, 
memorable mainly for a scene in which 
one wistful young married girl contem 
plates the future while mimeographing 
leaflets, and foresees her militant spouse 
taking up a spare of unsettled causes— 
everything from the black ghettos to In 
dians and smog. She sounds absolutely as 
bored and put-upon as any restive young 
matron who has had her fill of suburban 
complacency. This must mean some- 
th 


Moviegocrs who are glad to be alive 
in the ert of Nixon will surely hang 
out some red-white-and-blue bunting to 
cheer the film version of Hello, Dolly! 
Why, even Louis Armstrong is in it 


‘The Bootman. 
He's no ordinary 
Joe. 


Boots are his thing. 
"They're part of his image. 
He knows just how to wear boots. 
With style. 
He knows when to wear them too. 
Whenever he feels like it. 
But don't try to con 
The Bootman into a boot made 
by a shoemaker. 
His boots are real. 
The label inside all of them 
reads “Dingo.” 
If you don't 
believe us, ask 
any girl Joe 
Namath knows, 


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briefly, God bless him, with his corn- 
husky rendition of the title song. And 
Gene Kelly directed it (you all remember 
Gene Kelly), God-blessing America as 
the land of milk and honey and brass 
bands, and little ole New York in the 
Gay Nineties, and endless les with a 
cast of thousands scattered as far as the 
eye can sce. Superstar Barbra Streisand, a 
formidable performer but decades too 
young for the part, plays the Jewish 
matchmaker who has set her own cap for 
a Yonkers ha d-seed merchant. (Wal- 
ter Mattha Barbra's c terization 
is a campy imitation of Mae West; Mat- 
thau is long-suffering as 5, but with 
more reason than usual in a role that 
mainly requires him to snarl song cues. 
The supporting players are brim full of 
mindless high spirits—the screen hasn't 
seen such a whoopsa-daisy whirl of 
bloomers and petticoats and high-button. 
shoes since Oklahoma. The movie might 
have been a little less overbearing on a 
reduced budget, but the tradition of big 
Hollywood musicals is slow to change. 
This behemoth has the length, beam 
and approximate weight of an aircraft 
carrier, and ought to do well as a substi- 
tute for Sunday river-boat cruises. Bring a 
picnic lunch with plenty of cold beer. 


RECORDINGS 


Although fledgling thrushes continue 
to come up with new sounds, it takes 
Peggy Lee to show the people how it's 
really done, Is That All There Is? (Capi- 
tol; also available on stereo tape) has 
Peggy's instant smash as its title ode; 
but the lady doesn't rest on that single 
laurel. There are such diverse delights 4 as 
Me and My Shadow, My Old Flame, 
Don’t Smoke in Bed and a couple of 
other outstanding items from All There 
Is composers Jerry Lieber and Mike 
Stoller. Randy Newman, Mundell Lowe, 
Bobby Bryant and Benny Ca 
among those handling the charting 
conducting—which should give you some 
idea of the quality of the merchandise. 
Which brings up à lovely package that 
MGM has put together—Judy Garlond/ 
The Golden Years at MGM. It’s a two-LP 
album (also available on stereo tape) 
and covers the sound-tack songs from 
Broadway Melody of 1938 through 1950's 
Stock. But the real dividend 
l: a portfolio of pictures and 
memorabilia gleaned from Judy's 15 
years on the MGM lot. The songs, of 
course, are all the Garland specials that, 
as the saying goes, need no further 
introduction. 


Summer 
is nonau: 


Frisco ain't what it used to be, but you 
couldn't tell by listening to Volunteers 
able on stereo tape), 
wherein the Jefferson Airplane—assisted 
by such friends as Stevie Stills and Jerry 


Garcia—sock it to the establishment in 
no uncertain terms ("Up against the 
wall, motherfucker” isn't their phrase, 
but they give it the sweetest choral ren- 
dering you've ever heard). Musically, it's 
the Airplane at their labyrinthine best. 


Alter five pacesetting years with Miles 
Davis, drumming prodigy Tony Williams 
finally has his own wio—The Tony Wi 
liams Lifetime—and what a trio. With 
the flect-fingered, electronically augment- 
ed assistance of organist Larry Young 
and guitarist John McLaughlin, Tony 
has come up with a set on Emergency! 
(Polydor; also available on stereo tape) 
that shatters, once and for all, any exist- 
ing barriers between rock and jazz: Via 
the Spectrum Road, the title tune and 
the six other tracks are all superkinetic 
tone poems the future tense. 


A great ragtimc pianist and onc of the 
key men in the aeation of Ameri 
musical theater, James Hubert Blake gets 
to do his thing on The Eighty-Six Years of 
Eubie Blake (Columbia). Lovingly produced 
by John Hammond and exhaustively an- 
notated by Robert Kimball, the four- 
sided set finds a relaxed Blake—who 
played piano in a whorehouse back 
1898—spicing his rags and 
impromptu singing and commentar 
several numbers, he is joined by singer 
Noble Sissle, one of his colleagues in the 
dim days when jazz and showbiz first held 
hands, 


James Moody, who has proved himself 
adept on a number of reed instruments, 
adds another to his bulging bag on The 
Blues and Other Colors (Milestone). Moody’ 
approach to the soprano sax is straight 
forward and sensitive as he delineates the 
D Main Stem and a host of Moody 
originals. This all occurs on side one, 
where he's backed by a fairsized group 
that includes the trombone of arranger- 
conductor Tom McIntosh. Side two finds 
Moody renewing acquaintances with an 
old friend, his fluu he works with 
brass, strings and the voice of Linda 
November, 


Early Blue Grass (RCA) is a welcome 
disc, resurrecting, as it does, the authen- 
tically twangy sounds of The Lonesome 
Pine Fiddlers, the Country Pardners, the 
Blue Sky Boys, et al. Speaking of resur- 
rection, the group that created the id- 
iom, Bill Monroe and His Blue Grass 
Boys, is featured in a pair of religious 
songs—Cryin’ Holy unto My Lord and 
Shake My Mother’s Hand for Me—that 
rank with the best grass we've run into 
ately. 


Bill Cosby (Uni; also available on stereo 
tape) has ex-athlete Cos tackling the 
subject most dear to his big, beautiful, 


His father and his father’s father were 
brewers. 

So our founder, Joseph Griesedieck, 
could have taken what they taught him and 
let it go at that. But he didn’t. 

Instead, he went to school. To the first 
school of brewing in the country. And he 
graduated in its first graduating class. 

You see, Papa Joe, as most people called 
him, was determined to be the best brew- 
master in St. Louis. And to brew the 
best beer anywhere. 

So he was always 
doing things other 
brewers wouldn’t 
think of doing. 

Like bringing a 
strain of yeast over 
from the old country 
and keeping it alive 
for years, even dur- 
ing Prohibition. 

Or like tearing 
out the ageing tanks | 
ina brewery because | 
they made his beer 
taste different. | Frog. 

Allhislife, hekept 


A Our founder: 
PA The man who majored in beer. 


on looking for ways to brew his beer better. 

That’s the way he taught our family to 
brew Falstaff. And that’s the way we've 
been brewing it ever since. 

For four generations, we’ve been hand- 
ing down what he taught us. Adding what 
we've learned. Always looking for ways to 
make our good beer even better. 

Thats why we think today's Falstaff 

is the best-tasting beer our 

family has ever brewed. 

: Papa Joe would 

drink to that. 


Ital Breeier Corporation, Si. Lous. Mo. 


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comedic heart—sports. Cosby's humor 


hows freely and. c abundance 
he describes the vicissitudes of being on 


the ninth squad of his college football 
team (he winds up 


; to make do 
with the vicarious joy of rooting for 
his football jersey; he had to give it to 
fiststringer whose own jersey was 
ripped). Bill goes into the mixed bles. 
igs of having to take his two-year-old 
ter to a Rams game; his 
to hit a pitcher who tossed up fat “noth 
" balls; his trit 
Quantico Marines! track team; and 
the inside story om why his boys-club 
basketball team never lost a game on its 
home court. I's an album that will be 
thoroughly dug by spect 
and activists alike. 


on 


or sporrsmei 


THEATER 


Reuse me a moment while I get a 
caraway biscuit and change my crino- 
line" You can hear the Noel ward 
consonants crackle, and as Tammy 
Grimes delivers the line in Private Lives 
with her hallsyrup, halfsandpaper voice, 
is a tremendous laugh. Coward's lines 
are meant to be acted rather than read, 
and in Stephen Porter's smart APA re- 
vival (as brought to Broadway by David 
Merrick), they are acted with enormous 
style and wit. Ham that she is, Miss 
Grimes is a perfect Amanda—selfish, spit 
ful, and adorable, And Brian 
Bedlord, as Elyot (the part originated 
by Coward himself almost four decades 
ago), with his dry, impeccable, seemingly 
offhand deliver as much Tammy's 
mich as Elyot is Amanda's. Somehow, 
the creaky plot—Amanda and 
long divorced, just happen to be honey- 
mooning with other spouses in adjacent 
suites in the same Riviera hotel— doesn't 
seem to creak at least the 
contr icc of the situation doesn't mat 
ter. Those other spouses, the stully V 
tor and the silly Sybil, play the fools 
while the leads play the foils. That is not 
y that Private Lives is mere thrust 
vy. There is a solid play here, 
mutually devastating characters 
In a season marked by revivals—Our 
Town, The Time of Your Life, The 
Front Page, Three Men on a Horse—it 
comes as a surprise that Private Lives, a 
supposed piece of Thirties fluff, is the 
one that survives intact, the one that 


nda 


idulous 


uch, or 


i 
may really be the classic. At the Billy 
Rose, 208 West 41st Str 


Blythe Danner is a most delectable 
actress. Eileen Heckart i: hilarious far- 
ceur, Keir Dullea is a splendidly under- 
stated comic actor. Leonard Gershe is a 
talented playwright who can turn out 
dialog almost as funny as Neil Simon's. 
Butterflies Are Free is a hit. As ingeniously 


staged by Milton Katselas, Butterflies is a 
deverly crafted, easy-to-enjoy play—until 
one starts thinking about it. The story is 
momma's boy meets git] and mom trics to 
bust up. Gershe's switcheroo is that 
boy is blind (instead of, for instance. 
black) mom is Supermom, and girl is 
kook-of-the-walk. The play is jammed 
with blind gags (a few of them sight 
gags), mom gags and kook gags. But 
there are several serious fallacies afoot 
The characters are inconsistent. The boy, 
who was guarded in his home through 
his adolescence, is suddenly sophisticated 
when let loose, and a quick study about 
sex, among other things. The mother 
writes awful children's stories about a 
blind kid named Donny Dark, but then 
the playwright asks us to believe that the 
stupid stories were the son's salvation. 
Under the slick structure lie smug auti 
tudes: The play is steadfastly pro-pareni, 
anti-hippie, anti-avantgarde, Butterflie: 
is intended for middle-minded suburbia 
for whom it is apparently intended. 10 
provide sops of scl-recognition. At the 
Booth, 222 West 45th Strect 


As conceived by 
Coco Ci sometime queen of Lash 
ion. is ature of monumental ego 
tism, passion and indom 
an exceedingly thea 
most of Lerner’s lines for her—apho 
risms and insulis—are so shrewd and fur 
ny that one wishes he had written a play 
pout the lady. But Coco is not a play. It 
is an enormously expensive musical com- 
edy. As such, it is neither 

crash but an enjoyable, disappointing 
show with substantial assers and Luge 
flaws. Lerner's lyrics are a definite plus; 
they have an insouciance missing from 
Broadway since My Fair Lady, Unlortu 
nately, André Previn's music lacks a com- 
parable distinction. At best, Previn ha 
succeeded in aping Lerner's former col- 
laborator, Frederick Loewe. One «oi 
for coincidence, Gabrielle, treads remark 
ably close to Gigi. Katharine Hepburn, a 
lady quite as indomitable as Chanel, is a 
mixed blessing, Her acting is strong; she 
manages to convey the savagery and 
charm of her man-taming woman. But 
when it comes to singing, Miss Hepburn 
runs the mut from AZ to Bb Next to 
her, Rex Harrison sounds like 
She does injury not only to the tunes 
but also to some of Lerner 
plex rhymes. There is one high-spirited 
Michael Bennett dance in which a fail 
ing Coco suddenly sells out her entire 
collection, and the show (along with the 
revolving scenery) spins with enthusiasm 
—but the costumes and the ses (by 
Cecil Beaton) are not all they should be 
for such a fashion-celebrating occasion. 
better seasons. At the 
7 West 51st Street 


Alan Jay Lerner 


smash nor 


zio Pinza 


more com- 


Coco has scen 
Mark Helli 


Worsted-lex: 
The Magnate Stripes. 


Here’s the look of today’s 
young tycoon. In a suit 
you can wear 10 months 
of the year. Made the American 
way with wool. 

Fresh new stripings. 
Build-conscious shape. 
Everything put together just so. 

But he’s still all business. 
Knows there’s quality tailoring 
in a Worsted-Tex® 
priced from just $99.50. 


Worsted-Tex 


Clothes that fit the times. 


Our new stereo won't add any distortion to their sound. 


And it won't take any away, either. 


When you listen to hard rock, it’s not 
the easiest thing in the world to tell where 
the sitar ends and the distortion begins. 
But we at Sony have a new stereo that can 
help slightly. It's the HP-580. 

With it you get FM/AM and FM stereo 
in the tuner section, 
&inch woofers, 3- 
inch midranges, and 
2inch tweeters in 
the speaker section, 
and a Pickering car- 
tridge in the car- 
tridge section. 

Ithas a Dual 1210 
turntable, extremely 
sensitive FM stereo 


Nothing-but-the-truth Stereo. 
TheSony HP580 


separation, a high filter switch, loudness. 
control, and specially designed Sony 
transistors that fit our specially designed 
electronic circuits. (Niceties you don't 
usually get from a stereo short of going 
out and buying components.) 

- So the Cream 
won't sound sour. 
The Strawberry 
Alarm Clock won't 
sound piercing. 

And because of 
its built-in dust cov- 
er and dustamatic 
brush, the Rolling 
Stones will gather 
no moss. 


©1969 Sony Corp. of America, Visit cur showroom, 585 Filth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022. 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


V am a 22yearold male and will gradu- 
ate from college this June. 1 am en- 
gaged to a wonderful girl in another city, 
whom I plan to marry upon graduation. 
She cooks, sews and writes me daily Ict- 
ters in her spare time. We are completely 
compatible sexually, intellectually, re! 
giously and socially. She claims I am all 
she has ever looked for admits 
she is wrong after arguments and guar 
tees no fights once we are marricd. Is 
she perfect, or am I in for a shock?— 
R. G., New York, New York. 
‘Automobile salesmen, small boys the 
week before Christmas and young girls 
just before marriage all sound alike. But 
you sound a bit more like a shopper than 
a louer: You praise the girl in terms of 
her assets, which do sound admirable; 
you never suy you love her. Thai's a 
prelly important ingredient in marriage. 


à man, 


Though my bust measurement is only 
32, in good looks, personality and sex 
ppeal, I seem to be doing OK, since I'm 
going with a great guy, But I have the 
impression that men do not think a girl 
really attractive unless she has large 
breasts. My man is strictly a "what's up 
front” type and, since 1 don't want to let 
him down in that department, I'm think- 
ing of having my bust enlarged. Do you 
think I should?—Miss P. K., San Fr 
cisco, California 

No. Silicone injections are still in the 
experimental stage and have not yet 
been approved by the Food and Drug 
Administration. In any event, it’s un- 
likely that he would chuck your good 
looks, personality and sex appeal just for 
a larger chest. 


Recently, 1 bought a sterco set and went 
the whole route—tape recorder, tu 
tabl ceiver that damn near broke me 
and two fine speakers. Now I keep hear- 
ing about quadrasonic sterco, which I 
understand utilizes four amplifiers and 
four speakers. Have I invested a mint in 
a setup that soon will be obsolete2— 
F. R.. Houston, Texas. 

Not at all, though you might want to 
add to the equipment you've purchased. 
Essentially, quadrasonic stereo attempts 
to reproduce concert-hall sound by hav- 
ing two additional speakers in the rear 
oj the room that simulate sound reflected 
from the back of the auditorium. Four 
sound sources are required—meaning 
four separate backs on tape, or a quad- 
rasonic disc, which is still in the develop- 
mental stage—plus two stereo amplifiers 
and four speakers. Playback tape equip- 
ment is currently available jor quadra- 
sonic sound and a few companies have 
already released quadvasonic reels. Those 
who have heard the demonstration tapes 


say that ail of them represent an im- 
provement over stereo and some are sim- 
ply phenomenal. However, it will be at 
least a few years before four-channel 
amplifiers are plentijul and relatively in- 
expensive and much longer than that 
before the available repertoire of quad- 
rasonic tapes discs comes close 1o match- 
ing that of available stereo performances. 


EVI, wife feels she has a duty t0 permit 
me to have sex with her whenever T 
want it. When I bezin lovemaking, she 
lets me go ahead, even if she isn't in the 
mood and isn't enjoving it. And, since I 
(always the aggressor) don't know when 
she wants sex, F sometimes make love to 
her when / really dont feel like it. Is 
there any way we can signal our mutual 
desires to eich other before sexplay starts? 
—C. A, New York, New York. 

Try human speech, the pillow-talk 
variety. 


How did the expression “to propose a 
toast" originate?—J. D., Dubuque, Iowa. 

The word toast is of Latin origin and 
referred to an actual bit of sbiced, 
burned bread that was dropped into a 
cup of wine to improve its favor and 
help absorb the sediment. In this connec 
tion, British esuyist. Sir Richard Steele 
wrote of the wag at the communal public 
bath who drank to the health of a frmens 
15th Century beauty from a cup of her 
rinse water. Another lighthearted lad 
sanding nearby offered to jump in with 
the lass, exclaiming, “I do nol like the 
liquor so much, bul 1 should love to have 
the toast” —referring do the dampened 
damsel. Eventually, drinking 10 one’s 
health became known as drinking a toast 


Revelation hasn't 
changed since 
Uncle Ced 

flew with the 
Lafayette 
Escadrille. 


Revlotons not j 
made of sugar 
and spice, boys. 
ust tobacco: 
5 great tobaccos.. 
Revelation's for 
the experienced 
pipe smaker- 


Wor a year and a half, I've been living 
a commune near Taos and have been 
in love with a beautiful young chick who 
belongs to the same wibe. About a 
month ago, however, a lovely dropout 
from Berkeley drifted in and subsequent- 
ly entered my life in a very e 

Now, when I'm not making love with my 
first girl, I'm making it with the Berke- 
ley chick, and vice versa. I'm only 20 
and I'm afraid, if | go on sharing myself 
with these two at the present rate, that 
TII dic before my 21st birthday. I love 
both women and nodi 5 me to 
stop except the fear of myself, 
How realistic is my concern?—R. S., 
Taos, New Mexico. 

Not very. The possibility of “sexual 
excess” is preity much of a myth and 
would apply, if at all, only to certain 
cardiac cases. If you're overdoing it, your 
body just won't vespond anymore and 
you'll simply fail to get an erection. 


REVELAMION 


‘Aeuality proguct of Philip Morris U.S.A. 


47 


PLAYBOY 


48 


A friend of mine who’ student ac 
Yale took me on a tour of the campus 
and over an entranceway in the Hall of 
Graduate Studies, I noticed an inscrip- 
tion that struck me as ranralizingly 
familiar, though it was not attributed. 
ad: Hi WAS BORN WITH 


THE WORLD WAS MAD. I suppose it's somc- 
thing classical, but 1 could swear it’s more 


recent than that. Could I be right?— 
P. M., New Haven, Connecticut. 

Right on! It sounds like the descrip- 
tion of a Yippie, but it’s actually the 
first line of Rafael Sabatini’s classic ad- 
veniure. novel “Scaramouche.” The in- 
scription, which has been enthusiastically 
misquoted by such luminaries ax Alexan- 
der Woollcott and “Bartlett's.” owes its 
presence on the archway to Johu Donald 
Tuttle, a young assistant architect at the 
time the hall was built, Tuttle, some- 
thing of a midnigh: chiseler, chose Saba- 
dinis. lively line rather than a stuffy 
quote from Plato or Marcus Aurelius as 
his personal protest against equally stuffy 
collegiate Gothic: “a type of architecture 
that has been designed expressly for . 
allowing archers to shoot arrows [vom 
slits in ils surface and to enable yeomen 
10 pour molten lead through slots on 
their enemies below. As a propitiatary 
gift to my gods for this terrible thing 1 
was doing, and (o make them forget by 
appealing to their sense of humor, E carved 
the inscription over the door." 


FM; gitttrienal says that sperm dies wi 
in an hour of its entry into the va 
but I seem to remember reading 
it has much longer life. What 
the factsR—D. R. Myrtle Beach, South 
Caroli 

Sperm can live within the 
21 to 48 hours. 


gina for 


V am really relaxed in a crowd a 

great demand for parties, because I'm 
considered a riot with my jokes and 
with my ability to keep things going. But 
I wipe out totally on dates. 1 get uptight 
and nervous and don't know what 1o 
talk about. | want so much for the da 
to be [un and the girl to like me, but 
never works out and 1 wind up just 
making dumb jokes until the evening 
ends. Can you help me wanscr some of 
my assets from the general group sinnt 
tion to the specific gir —C. M.. Lincoln, 
Nebraska, 

Playing the clown at. parties is a short 
cut to personal popularity 
up. for shyness and, unfortunately, 
that’s habit-forming. desire 
that your date should enjoy herself is 
commendable, bui you may be trying so 
desperately to entertain ber Mat yowre 
not gwing her a chance to entertain you. 
Ask her about herself and the things thut 
she's interested in, In the unlikely event 


al 


it's aho a 


co; 


one Your 


that doesn't work and you can't think of 
anything ele to talk about, don't try. 
Your date may note the switch and ask 
you what you're interested in, why you're 
moody, what makes you tick. Take off 
the false face and tet the girl see the real 
you for a change. She'll appreciate the op- 
portunity and you'll enjoy the attention 
that you'll get. 


Tye heard so much about the virtues of 
the sauna th: m thinking of adding a 
unit to my house, Does the sauna really 
have any medical advantages, or will it 
simply help me work up a good swe: 
. P., Ozone Park, New York. 

The sauna’s therapeutic qualities ave 
like those of macrobiotic food and nud- 
ism—unproved and possibly nonexistent. 
On the other hand, a visit t0 a public 
sauna may put you in the company of 
innumerable devotees, who claim the 
treatment soothes the soul as it bakes the 
body. Its not a bad idea to have a 
medical checkup before exposing your- 
self to the intense heat (which should 
nol exceed 185 degrees Fahrenheit on 20 
percent. humidity -preferably less than 
five), and don’t perspire your troubles 
away for more than 15 minutes at a time. 


Worse published quite a number of 
stories in your Ribald Classics about the 
days when knights were bold and women 
were chattels and wore chastity belts, and 
pages collaborated with locksmiths, once 
milady’s keeper had ridden off to the 
Crusades. | got to thinking that what's 
sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander 
and I wonder if there is such a thi 
a male chastity belt and where one might 
be bought. —Miss B. G.. Cambridge, Mas- 
sachusetts, 

A mate chastity belt was patented in 
1897 by one Michael McCormick of San 
Francisco to "prevent involuntary noc- 
turnal seminal emissions, to control wak- 
ing thoughts and to prevent self-abuse”” 
The device consisted of a belt from 
which hung a flat, oblong steel plate; the 
lower end of the plate had an aperture 
in it and a small halter just beneath 
that. The flaccid penis was inserted 
through the hole and secured by the 
halter. Set in a collar around the opeu- 
ing in the plate was a sel of steel points 
adjustable by means of selserews. How 
the contrivance worked was simplicity 
itself: “Now when [vom any cause expan- 
sion in this organ begins, it will come in 
contact with the pricking points, and 
necessary pain or warning sensation will 
result.” As for availability of the belt, 
you'll have to borrow a set of plans and 
do il yourself. 


WI college roommate and I have pretty 
much the same views on things, sex in- 
cluded. Lately. Lowever, our one-bedroom 


apartment has been adorned with a beauti- 
ful chick every weekend, who is there for 
more than just a game of chess. When I 
come home lae at night, 1 usually dis- 
cover my roommate and his girl engaged 
in elementary biology and all | can do is 
mumble an embarrassed “Excuse me" and 
bunk in elsewhere. I've talked the prob- 
lem over with him and he seems to think 
I should be more thoughtful during his 
weekend exercises. What do you recom. 
mend?—F. L., Madison, Wisconsin. 

If you can’t evict them, ask to share 
the wealth. That should get you some 
aclion—one way or the other. 


Ihe read that in Paris, there’s an outfit 
called Hétesses Internationales that. pro- 
vides the lonely wayfarer with a femi- 
nine guide for a price. I'm flying abroad 
soon and would like to know just what 
the tab entitles me to. Putting it more 
gly, what are my chances for it 
—A. P., Raleigh, North Carolina. 

That depends on how good a salesman 
you are. Extra services are not included 
in the price. 


Whoo is the Norfolk jacket named after? 
—K. H., Tulsa, Oklahoma. 

The Norfolk jacket, a full-belted, 
straigh-hanging garment with vertical 
beltlike panels fore and aft, was named 
after the Duke of Norfolk, a 19th Centu- 
ry English nobleman who asked his tai- 
for to design a comfortable hunting jacket 
for him. The tailor made the jacket and 
the Duke made history. 


F have had a perfect sexual relationship 
with my wife for the past eight years. 
Recently, however, she has found herself 
ble to reach orgasm, even. though her 
ms as strong as ever. The 
iable in our sex life has been 


any bearing on the problem?—B. Y., 
Salt Lake City, Utah. 

It could. Masters and Johnson report 
that a small percentage of women lose 
their orgasmic capacity ajter 18 months 
to three years of taking oral. contracep- 
lives. As of now, it isn’t known why nor 
how long the loss lasts. The only solu- 
tion at present is to discontinue use of 
the pill, although you must realize that 
there is a greater risk of pregnancy with 
any other birth-control method. 


All reasonable questions—from fash- 
ion, food and drink, hifi and sports cars 
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette 
will be personally answered i[ the 
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed 
envelope. Send all letters lo The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi- 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages each month. 


THE NATIONAL BREWING CO. OF BALTO., MD, AT BALTO., MD. ALSO PHOENIX MIAMI « OETROIT 


six appeal 


PLAYBOY 


50 


His and her terry, 
togs for after pool, 
sauna or shower. 
One-size-fits-all 
kilt for playboys, 
MM326, $5. Bath 
sari in S, M, L 
sizes with secure 
side buttons for 
playmates, 


Double or Nothing 


Designed with two in mind, the Playboy look for the swinging 
set. When ordering, pleasc indicate product 
number, quantity, size and color and add 
50¢ per order for handling. Send 
check or money order to: 
Playboy Products, 
Dept. MF01 
Playboy Building, 


MM327, 
wi i| 919 N. Michigan 
mee Ave., Chicago, Ill. 
60611. Playboy 
di D Club credit 
8 keyholders 


may charge. 


Mix or match, 
Wann-up shirts 
with Rabbit in 
white on black, yellow 
and light blue; black on 
white. Soft, washable 50% 
Kodel” and 50% cotton. 
S, M, L, XL sizes. Short 
sleeve, WA106, $4.50. 
Long sleeve, WA107. 85 


Ski-mates hit the 
slopes in look-alike sweaters of 
pure virgin worsted 
wool. Rabbit 
interwoven in 
white on cardinal 
red, white on 
black or black on 
white. Playboys 


WA101, $25. 
Playmates, S, M, L 


S, M, L, XL sizcs, 
sizes, WA201, $25. 


Some men can do anything...with great style. 


ee 7 


Like dressing up for the sheer pleasure of it. Then taking the 
day off to drive a really luxurions car. In this 
flamboyant Gaut Town shirt with a long, straight collar. 
Precisely tailored No-iron FORTREL? polyester-cotton. 
About $10. The Gant tle, about $10. 


GANT 


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Blye style helps you play fast and loose— 


puts you in the winner's lineup for the 70's. Blye 
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Your choice of ona) mone Blyecreated fashions at leading 
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THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an inierchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy’? 


BAWDY BOTANY 

I support the John Birch Society in 
deploring our school system, which al- 
lows impressionable young minds to be 
warped by teaching them basic biological 
In this spirit, I urge all right- 
ng people to further clean up our 
classoorns by removing a far more porno- 
graphic subject—botany. 
e that teaching botany 
involves discussion of the salacious 
periments of Gregor Mendel? To deter- 
mine the factors controlling heredity in 


plants, Mendel licentiously practiced un- 
ashamed sexual breeding between un- 
married plants—and, in many cases, 


incestuous breeding between plants that 
were doxly related! Even very young 
planis were not spared from Mendcl's lewd 
and lecherous experimentation. 

That Mendel discovered important 
ntific truths should not atone for his 
moral methods. Obviously, botany is 
other Communist plot to destroy the 
ruggedness of our youth, 

Richard L. Danicl 
Carbondale, Illinois 


CHALLENGE TO BIRCHERS 

Shortly after reading your November 
1969 Playboy Forum, 1 sent the follow- 
ing letter to the headquarters of the John 
Birch Society in Belmont, Massachusetts: 


1 just read the November issue of 
LAYBoY and found there a rebuttal 
to Gary Allen's attack on the Sex 
Information and Education Council 
of the United States. When I read 
Allen's article in your magazine, 
ican Opinion, I considered it 
authentic; but now rLaysoy has 
flatly accused Allen of quoting out 
of context, removing key words from 
sentences, adding new ones and thus 
distorting the views of SIECUS' Dr. 
Mary Calderone. It appears, to my 
dismay, that PLAvnov has a point. 

Let’s have a straight answer: Are 
the quotes from Dr. Calderone ac- 
curate as given by Allen, or arc the 
quotes accurate as corrected by 
PLAYBOY? I would also like to know 
if PLAYBOY is right in saying that 
Allen, writing in a John Birch Socie- 
ty pamphlet, has accused Richard 
Nixon of being a member of the 
Circle of Initiates conspiracy started 
by Cecil Rhodes and the Mluminati? 

I was once a member of the John 


Ame 


Birch Society but quit three years 


Ive waited over a month now and 
have not yet received an answer to this 
letter. 

Dr. William G. Byars 
Abilene, Texas 


BIRCHING THE BIRCHERS 
k you for your excellent answer 
g ortions of Dr. Calde- 
rone’s remarks (The Playboy Forum, No- 
vember 1969). By placing the quoted 
remarks in their original context and 
showing how they were deliberately mis- 
construed, you revealed the dishonesty of 
those who took Dr. Calderone's remarks 
and picced them together to give an 
entirely different impression. You have 
performed a valuable service to those of 
us in the field of sex education who 
would like to clear away phony al 
tions and get down to the genuine issues 


that confiont us. 
Harold I. Lief, M. D. 
Information and 


The April "Playboy Inte 
wilh Dr. Mary Calderone. 


SEXUAL IGNORANCE 
I never had a sex-education course in 
grade school or i 
more, my ultraconservative, super- 
can, Christian family wouldn't 
approved of such a thing. Who will ex- 
plain to my illegitimate child (duc next 
month) how I managed to smuggle him 
into the world, despite the fact that the 
Commies never got to me in school? 
(Name withheld by request) 
East Lansing, Mich 


SEXUAL ENLIGHTENMENT 

Iam a widowed mother of three chil 
dren and must work to support them. 
Despite this, Ido all in my power to be 
a good parent and raise my children to 
be responsible citizens. Fortunately, we 
have had school sex education and 
very thankful. I found it quite difficult 
to explain to my 12-year-old son why 
women could not reproduce without 
the aid of a male, like his guppies sccm 
to do. 

1 once had quite a shock when he told 


B 


6 PROOF - EARLY TIMES DISTILLERY CO., LOUISVILLE, KY. e eroc 1969 


53 


PLAYBOY 


54 


me that he'd been taught in school about 
wet dreams. It had never entered my 
mind to try to explain this; and on 
reflection, I was glad to know that educa- 
tors were helping me out. 

Sex education has helped my children 
immensely and they are very adult about 
it. They don't dwell on it nor is it a 
constant subject of conversation. They 
realize sex is part of life and accept it 
naturally. 


Mrs. Anne Marco 
Portland, Oregon 


TRIAL MARRIAGE 

I'd like to contribute to the discussion 
of trial m ge that has appeared from 
time to time in The Playboy Forum. 
When a couple decides to live together 
on a premarital tril run, they should 
try to learn from this experience what 
married life would be like. This means 
patterning the relationship after the real 
thing as much as possible, discussing 
those aspects of marriage that can’t be 
duplicated by a couple living together 
nd making a total emotional comm; 
nt to each other, 

Some aitics of trial mariage remark 
that, since the couple is not legally and 
economically bound together, the u 
is tenuous and one wrong move can ruin. 
. This kind of fear should not be 
ndulged, because it leads to puting 
unnatural effort into the relationship be- 
fore the wedding and then depending on 
lawyers, community propaty and kids to 
perpetuate terward. If the couple's 
relationship lacks the qualities needed 
for lasting union, they'd do well to find 
out before the ceremony. A clergyman 
and a stateissued piece of paper can 
make the wedding—the couple alone can 
make the marriage. 

My husband and I were just as mar 
ried during the year we lived together as 
we are now; and the biggest change our 
wedding made in our lives was its effect 
on our income-tax reporting. 

Mrs. Colleen Stinson 
Lansing, Michigan 


n 


CURE FOR BEDROOM BOREDOM 

Like the author of the letter titled 
“Boredom in the Bedroom" (The Playboy. 
Forum, November 1969), my wife and I 
experienced a revitalization of our sex 
ife when we experimented with mate 
swapping. After five years of marriage, 
we both noticed a stale quality in our 
bedroom act ics. Then, we each had a 
surreptitious affair and confessed it to 
each other, afterward. This a tense 
scene for us, but th. 


and found it very pleasant. We view it as 
a fun soll in the hay rather than a deep 
emotional ce. This activity has 


n our sex life an added dimension: 
We enjoy each other more and de- 
rive great satisfaction from our mutual 
honesty. 
Adultery is w 


lespread; the surveys 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


a survey of events related to issues raised by “‘the playboy philosophy" 


FEDERAL CRUSADE 

WASHINGTON, D.C—The Federal Gov- 
ernment has seized ten erotic drawings 
and paintings by internationally known 
artists and has threatened to destroy them. 
Citing President Nixon's call, last May, 
for a “crusade against the obscene,” Jus 
tice Department, official William Sessions 
stepped into the case when U.S. Attorney 
Stephen H. Sachs, a Democratic appointee, 
refused to sign an order against the art. 
works, which include items by George 
Grosz, Hans Belmar and Karel Appel. 
All are part of a collection (valued. at 
over $1,000,000) belonging 10 psycholo- 
gists Phyllis and Eberhard Kronhausen. 
The entire collection has been successfully 
exhibited in Sweden and Denmark, but 
the Dis. Kronhausen prudently decided to 
send only ten items through U. S. Customs, 
as a test, before attempting to ship the 
others, 


NEW NATIONAL PERIL 

WASHINGTON, D.6.—Explaining “We've 
always understood that free speech is a 
modified right,” Chairman. Dean Burch of 
the Federal Communications Commission. 
announced that the agency intends to set 
up guidelines to keep sexy films from 
being shown on TV. Mentioning “I Am 
Curious (Yellow)” as an example, he said 
some films might be considered objection- 
able for television because children could 
see them. 

Burch’s statement followed Senate Com- 
munications Subcommittee hearings at 
which Senator John O. Pastore, chairman, 
urged the FCC commissioners to show 
some “guts.” Pastore strongly attacked the 
Commission's action in granting the Paci- 
fica Foundation a license for an FM sta- 
tion in Houston, Texas. Pacifica also owns 
KPFR-FM in Los Angeles, which recently 
broadcast a poem, “Jehovah’s Child,” con- 
taining four-letter words. Pastore insisted 
that programs broadcast into a home 
should not be protected by court decisions 
on art, movies or literature. In concur- 
ring, Burch said the Justice Department 
may prosecute radio and television sta- 
tions that broadcast profanity. 


WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST 


Los ANGELES—An intermediate court of 
appeal has upheld the conviction of an 
anti-war protester arrested. for displaying 
a jacket adorned with the slogan “Fuck 
the Draft!" The American Civil Liberties 
Union defended the protester, Paul Rob 
ert Cohen, arguing that the slogan was 
protected by the First Amendment and 
was not literally obscene, since it obvi- 
ously did not advocate “sexual intercourse 
with the Selective Service System.” But the 


cour, noting the possibility of fistfights, 
ruled that “No one has the tight to ex- 
press his views by means of printing lewd 
and vulgar language, which is likely to 
cause others to breach the peace [in trying] 
10 prolect women and children from such 
exposure” The A. C. E. U. said it would 
appeal next to the California supreme 
court, 


HOMOSEXUAL TEACHERS 

SAN FRANCISCO—The California su- 
preme court has ruled that the state can- 
not revoke a teacher's credentials solely 
because he engaged in homosexual ac- 
tivity; it must prove that such activity 
“adversely affected” his “future classroom 
performance and over-all impact on his 
students.” The opinion noted that a paral- 
lel incident of extramarital heterosexual 
behavior would not be considered grounds 
for state action unless it a[Jected a person's 
fitness to teach. 


IN DEFENSE OF PIGS 

The Alabama Farm Bureau Federation 
has recommended that the term pig be 
used, not as an insult but as a compli- 
ment. Arguing that it is the “most intel- 
ligent of all domestic animals? and vital 
to the national economy, the federation 
described the pig as “one of the noblest 
works of creation." 

This advice may have been heeded by 
the lawmen of Ann Arbor, Michigan, who 
staged a charity football game that they 
called the Pig Bowl, Before 1000 cheering 
spectators, the police-department Goats de- 
feated the sherifj'sdepartment Pigs, 19-0. 


COWBOY SYNDROME 

SAN FRANCISCO—Universily of California 
psychiatrist. Dr. Alfred Aucrback attrib- 
utes the bulk of this country’s marital 
problems to husbands who work too hard 
al proving their masculinity. Such men, 
he said, are victims of the “cowboy syn- 
drome” in their effort to be “the strong, 
silent he-man, who loves his horse and his 
gal with equal passion.” He noted that 
the modern equivalent of the horse is the 
automobile, which he described as the 
“first symbol of manhood” 


BOOZE FEUD 

HARRISBURG, PENNSYLVANIA—Border te- 
lations between Pennsylvania and Mary- 
land have been deteriorating since the 
Quaker State set up its own version of 
Operation Intercept—calculated to stop 
its citizens from buying their booze in 
Maryland, where the price is consid- 
erably lower, To combat the tax loss, 
Pennsylvania has recruited “booze spies,” 


equipped them with binoculars and ra- 
dios and infiltrated them into Maryland, 
where they lurk in the vicinity of liquor 
stores and send back license numbers. 
Viewing such tactics as unsportsmanlike 
(and bad for local business), Maryland 
sheriffs are running a counterspy opera- 
tion, which has already led to the arrest 
of one enemy agent on charges of dis- 
orderly conduct. 


EQUALITY, ITALIAN STYLE 

RoME—For the first lime since a Ro- 
man notable proclaimed that "Caesar's 
wife should be above suspicion,” Italy has 
officially abandoned its double standard 
on extramarital sex. The country’s highest 
court has overturned a Fascist-era law that 
made it a crime for a wije to commit adul- 
tery but permitted a husband to dally 
daily, as long as he was discreet enough 
not to upset the neighbors. In the judicial 
opinion: “It is indisputable that the court 
has the right to assure equality among all 
citizens, regardless of sex or other con- 
siderations.” The new ruling compensates 
husbands for their loss of special privilege 
by permitting them legally to keep mis- 
Iresses. 


COOL HEADS IN CANADA 

orrAwA— The Canadian government 
has quictly initiated an extensive program. 
of research on marijuana, with an cyc to 
its possible legalization. The Canadian 
government's public-health and drug-con 
lyol agencies are cooperaling to provide 
both the money and marijuana, some of 
it purchased from the U.S. National In- 
slilute of Mental Health, for use by 
Canadian scientists in their studies. Ca- 
nadian Health Minister John Munro 
declined to speculate on the govern- 
ment’s eventual action but noted that 
“experimentation of this kind is always 
required before anything is made legal" 
Independently, the Canadian Medical 
Association has recommended that mar 
juana be made available under restric 
lions similar to those on liquor, which 
is sold in government stores, 

Meanwhile, back in the States, NIMH 
director Dr. Stanley Yolles, an advocate 
of liberalized marijuana laws, asked a 
Senate subcommittee: “How long, O Lord, 
how long are we going to sugges! new 
commillees, new commissions and new task 
forces in licu of doing something?” 


6, 


HIS AND HERS CONTRACEPTIVES 

LONDON—The International Planned 
Parenthood Federation has announced it 
is testing a contraceptive. suitable for use 
by either men or women, Called C-Film, 
it consists of a thin, soluble film about two 
inches square, containing a highly active 
but nontoxic spermicide. It can either be 
inseried into the vagina up to three hours 
before intercourse or placed on the penis. 


The contraceptive was developed in Hun- 
gary and is reportedly being used there by 
100,000 couples. Statements on the drug’s 
effecttueness have not yet been made. 


MOT JUSTE 

STANFORD, — CALIFORNIA—Announcing 
that Stanford University was considering 
« policy change that would make contra- 
ceptive pills available to unmarried female 
students, the San Francisco Chronicle com- 
mented, “Stanford coeds ave not all virgins 
and the university is about to officially 
recognize that fact.” 


NEUROTICALLY SPEAKING 

Los ANCELES—Cultivating a deep voice 
may be vocal suicide, warns Dr. Morton 
Cooper, a UCLA voice therapist. The idea 
that a low, husky tone is cither masculine 
or sexy is the “vocal neurosis of our cul. 
ture,” he said, and efforts to achieve it 
can lead to voice fatigue, laryngitis and 
growths on the vocal cords. 


ABORTION-LAW REPEAL MOVEMENT 

Public-opinion surveys have indicated 
that a large majority of Americans favor 
some liberalization of abortion laws, and 
a vecent Gallup Poll showed that 40 per 
cent believe abortion should be a malter 
lejt entirely to a woman and her doctor. 
In a medical magazine's survey of 28,000 
doctors, 62.8 percent took this same posi- 
tion. Heartened by these findings and by 
some important court decisions, the abor- 
tion-law-reform movement is working to 
repeal the laws altogether. 

* In Washington, D.C., where a Fed- 
eral judge recently voided the district’s 
69-year-old aborüon law (sce “Forum 
Newsfront,” February), the Mayor's Com- 
mittee on D.C. General Hospital has 
urged that the ruling be “implemented 
immediately.” At the same time, the Na- 
tional Association for Repeal of Abortion 
Laws announced it might sel up an abor- 
lion clinic in Washinglon “open to all 
women from all over the country.” 

* In Colorado, the first of ten states to 
liberalize its abortion laws in recent year: 
a movement is under way to either repeal 
or overturn the 1967 law, due to the fail- 
ure of doctors and hospitals to interpret 
it in a liberal manner. 

+ Jn Massachusetts, Boston attorney 
Joseph S. Otert has filed a brief, in behalf 
of a doctor, asking the Middlesex superior 
court to rule that the state's abortion law 
violates the constitutional rights of doctors 
and their patients. 

* In Seattle, Dr. A. Frans Koome has 
openly defied the state's abortion law by 
informing the governor, in a letter, that 
he had terminated 110 unwanted preg- 
nancies; by announcing that he would 
continue to do so; and by posting a large 
sign outside his suburban office, reading, 


I've read indicate that the majority of 
husbands and about half of the wives 
indulge in it, This suggests that many 
people desire more than one sexual part- 
ner. If this is so, why not find a fair and 
honest solution? I think swapping is the 
answer. Though perhaps not for every- 
one, it is worthy of consideration. by 
married couples whose marriage is basi 
cally stable before the swappi 
ment. This activity definitely has a good 
effect on the sexual aspect of marriage, 
but, of course, it is not a panacea for 
every ill. 


(Name withheld by request) 
Detroit, Michigan 


THE ETHICS OF ADULTERY 

In the November 1969 Playboy Forum, 
a lady from Wichita, Kansas, inquired 
about PrAvBoY's readers’ opinions on 
mate swapping and asked, "When both. 
partners consent, is adultery immoral?” 
In the old days, people turned to re 
ligious authoritics to find out what was 
moral or immoral. More recently, they 
have been asking psychiatrists and politi- 
cal theorists. Now, in true democratic 
fashion, the Wichita housewife wants to 
poll rLaynoy's readers, This lady and 
her husband are already indulging i 
spouse swapping and are apparently en- 
joying it; but if the Forum published 
many letters telling her the practice is 
evil, 1 wonder, would she stop it? 

In my opinion, to ask whether or not 
a given act, such as mate swapping, is 
moral is to pose a meaningless question. 
There are those who still believe that 
some supernatural monarch has decreed 
a code of rules by which we must live, 
but they are on ground only slightly less 
unsound than those who still reject evo- 
lution. Nor can any modern-minded 
atheist or agnostic prove, philosophically 
or scientifically, that any set of secular 
ules or obligations is superior to the 
ndividual's own desires. Modern ideo- 
logues may tell us we have a duty to 
humanity, society, reason or revolution 
till they are blue—or red—in the face, 
but they arc human, like everyone else; 
and why should one man's code bind 
another? 

People such as your mateswapp 
correspondent fecl that their personal 
decisions must be guided by some higher 
rationale. They need reassurance that 
there is something more important back. 
ing their decisions than their own feel- 
dual feelings are the most 
phi- 


ij 


impor 
losophies and ideologies are, 
i : only such size and 
power as we assign them. 

We must recognize that ethical code: 
are but convenient (and, too often, incon 
1) fictions. By doing so, we can 
then make decisions on reasonable, real- 
istic bases, while also giving proper dig- 
nity to our genuine feclings. We can end 
the idolization of abstract principles for 


55 


PLAYBOY 


56 


which too many people are willing to 
murder others and be killed themselves 
(“Better dead than Red’—that sort of 
thing). To realize that each man isa law 
unto himself is to arrive at an irreducible 
basis for libertarian thought—the most 
valuable and needed. viewpoint in avoid- 
ing the pitfalls of right- or left-wing 
totalitarianism. 

Therefore, I suggest to the lady from 
Wichita one rule that eliminates the need 
for all others: “Think for yourself.” 

Dion O'Glass 
New York, New York 


DIVORCE AND LIBERATION 
Championing the rights of men is not 
currently in vogue among so-called lib- 
erated women, but divorce settlements, 
which strip men of their homes, children 
and moncy, do not, in the long run, do 
cither sex a favor. Ask any second wile 
who must bear the brunt of a judge's 
generosity to a first wife. American di- 
vorce laws are ridiculous and men are 
beginning to band together for the 
own defense. Charles Mctz's America’s 
Society of Divorced Men, for cxample, 
is currently giving some Illinois judges 
migraine headaches over their consistent 
disregard of the rights of male divorce 


l's time militant feminists joined 
ranks with men to let judges and lawyers 
know that we are no longer the weaker 
sex. We don't want large hunks of some 
man's money and we certainly don't 
want to marry men who arc shackled by 
financial bonds left over from a prior 
union. We would like to see each mem- 
ber take out of a marriage what cach 
tially brought to it, plus a fair share 
of what each contributed during it. And 
that’s it: no more alimony, no more 
support. Let us make it on our own and 
leave our ex-husbands free to make it on 
their own 

But—before we can realize a more 
equitable approach to divorce, alimony 
and support—we must mount 2 frontal 
attack on the problem of discrimination 
against women. Men who arc fighting for 
divorce reform cannot blame the self- 
interest of the legal profession or the vin- 
dictiveness of female litigants. If men 
insist that women belong in the home and 
refuse to concern themselves with the 
inequities that face us m the outside 
world, they shouldn't be surprised or 
chagrined when the judges burden them 
with providing for us when we decide to 
go our separate ways. 

As long as the majority of men refuse 
to admit that some women have execu- 
tive abilities, teaching abilities, creative 
ics, superior to 
deserve to bc 
paid for their work on a scale equal to 
that of men, deserve equal opportunities 
for advancement, deserve child- facil- 
ities; deserve equal educational oppor 
tunities (especially at the postgraduate 


abilities, any and all abi 
that 


some mcn, wo! 


level), we will all have ridiculous bur- 
dens to hear. Men will be expected to 
provide for women, because the male- 
dominated system refuses 10 make it 
possible for women to provide for them- 
selves, Women. will be degraded. by ac- 
cepting charity, because, initially, we 
don’t get an even start with the men in 
our society. Now, we must work together 
to free each other 


Memphis, Tennessee 


BATTLE OF THE SEXES 

It’s hard to see the point in the current 
conflict between men and women over 
their respective roles, "The two sexes 
should fit together compatibly, like parts 
of a jigsaw puzzle. There should be no 
battle because the sexes’ need for each 
other transcends conflict. 

I especially disapprove of women d. 
manding equality of the sexes. This 
means we should take them olf the 
pedestals and not protect them. It 
means, for example, we ought to replace 
half the men now in Victnam with wom- 
en. Is this what they want? 

Mid Murphy 
Hollywood, California 


FEMININE REVOLUTION 

I fully comprehend Mrs. Judith T-n- 
na’s resentment of the way women. "are 
treated as members of an inferior species” 
(The Playboy Forum, November 1969). 
However, I believe she has overlooked a 
few points. First of all, the majority of 
women I know (I am not a sociologist so 
I can't generalize about all women) don’t 
seem to want true equality. They resign- 
edly accept their subordinate positions 
in the business world; and in personal 
relations, they demand, however subtly, 
that the man be boss. These women lose 
respect and interest when men are over- 
permissive or egalitarian in their atti- 
tudes toward them. 

Secondly. in our society, where women 
virtually impose leadership roles on men, 
males should also initiate their own lib- 
cration movement. Western man is es 
pected to be an cntertaining date, a 
sexually aggressive and skillful lover and, 
after marriage, the head of the house- 
hold. But I'm certain that, at times, 
every man feels this responsibility is a 
tremendous burden imposed on him by 
women. Were there true sexual egalitari- 
anism, women would have to accept 
more male self-centeredness and even 
passivity, without then judging them less 
attractive or desirable. Are women ready 
for that, Mrs. Banna? 
lly, as for my personal s 


Men 
who sympathize with women's desi 
be equal should not make the mista 
the white liberals in America have made 
with blacks: By actively ying to help 


them (and in so doing, somewhat alle- 
viating their own sense of moral guilt), 
they incur denunciations more bitter 
than those the revolutionaries unleash 
on their enemies. We've now learned 
that people can’t be liberated; they must 
liberate themselves. They can't be led 
they must plan their own strategy, make 
their own mistakes and enjoy their own 
unalloyed triumphs, Therefore, if Mr 
Banna and other women want a fem 
nine revolution, let them go to it; I'll sit 
it out. occasionally managing a passive 
cheer from my self-centered position on 
the side lines. 


Waker Fidman 
Wilmington, Delaware 


HALF A LOAF FOR HOMOSEXUALS 

Liberals who consider homosexi 
be suffering from 
they are not respon 
tudes on tolerance, wl is quite a 
different thing from acceptance. Toler 
ance implies a patronizing approach, 
which can be just as d 
homosexual’s self-esteem as the disd: 
of those who call him faggot and queer. 
His settling for half a loal[—and buying 
the self-dislike that goes with it—is not 
much better than being denied the loaf 
completely. Though, in the latter case, 
there is at least the saving grace that he 
can feel righteous anger. 

"The majority of homosexuals who seck 
psychiatric help do so because: (1) they 
have been told they were sick and, con 
sequently, wish to be cured; (2) social 
disapproval and contempt have filled 
them with sel£-dislike; (3) they are total- 
ly unable to function sexually or can do 
so only when extreme sexual tension 
drives them to it. The crux of the homo- 
sexual's problem is that his homosexuali- 
ty and his sexuality are identical; and he 
cannot reject one without giving up the 
other. 

You may choke on the banality of the 
slogan “Gay is Good," but the homosex- 
ual has no alternative. Many young homo- 
sexuals, having no wish to be thought 
perverted or sick, hide their condition 
from friends, relatives and, most of all, 
from the girls they force themselves to 
date. For the average heterosexual young 
man, fear of failure with the opposite 
sex is often a problem; for the young 
homosexual trying to play a heterosexual 
role, the fear can be insurmountable. 
The inevitable outcome of an unsuccess- 
{ul attempt at sex is that the girl is 
puzzled and contemptuous and the young 
man [ecls forever condemned to being 
something he has been taught to despise 

As long as the homosexual’s desire to 
change springs from external social pres- 
sure, is doubtful whether any 
tion he undergoes can correctly be called 
a curc. A man can be taught to function 
n almost any situation and can be con- 
ditioned to overcome whatever reluc- 
tance or revulsion he may fecl for the act 


Is to 
sickness for which 


era- 


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Bacchus, a remarkable after-shave that had the power 
to render men irresistible to women. 

Taking a tip from the legend of the Trojan horse, the 
Romans left huge bottles of Bacchus outside their enemies: 
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inside their battlements and douse themselves with its con- 
tents. Within minutes, their womenfolk would pick up the 
scent. And soon, the city would be left undefended as the 
men found themselves with something better to do with their 
time than fight. At that moment, the Romans would march in 
and take over. And that, we insist, is how the Romans con- 
quered the world. 

If you don't believe us and if you doubt the authenticity of 
ancient frescoes reproduced above, splash a little Bacchus 
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in question. But can he be taught actual 
desire or need? The real cure (if one 
wishes to use the word) lies in the homo- 
sexual's acceptance of his desire— feeling 
comfortable with it, functioning with- 
out guilt, being able to be open about 
it when necessary. Such self-acceptance 
would at least create the circumstances 
under which real change could come 
about; in a dating situation, the girl 
might well be more helpful, the boy, 
more willing to experiment. A permissive 
society, encouraging such self-acceptance, 
would give the homosexual the opportu- 
nity to broaden his sexual horizons, if he 
wanted to—and would enable him, in any 
case, to lead a full life, even if he didn't 
want to change. 

Those who are unalterably prejudiced 
against homosexuality might assert that 
a homosexual would not want to change 
in a permissive society: this reveals their 
lack of knowledge about the so-called 
gay life. PLAYBOY is quite correct in 
assessing homosexuality as a state that 
has intrinsic disadvantages that would 
exist no maucr how permissive the socie- 
ty might be, the most obvious being a 
limited number of potential sex part- 
ners; but there are other disadvantages 
as well The desire to raise children is 
not limited to heterosexuals Neither 
does one have to be a psychiatrist to 
note that, as one ages in a society devot- 
ed to the pursuit of youth, the pursuit 
can become not only dull but demeaning. 

‘Thomas Ber 
Chicago, Illinois 


HOMOSEXUALS AND THE ARMY 

During die past year, various writers 
have pointed out in The Playboy Forum 
that the Army has become very hypocriti- 
cal about homosexuality. While claiming 
that it is still excluding homosexuals 
from the Service, it is actually drafting 
many of us. 

This was certainly true in my case, 
because even though I told my draft 
board that I was homosexual, I was still 
inducted. It soon became apparent that 
the Army intended to “suaighten me 
out” or break me entirely. After one year 
of every kind of hell they could dish out 
—and they are experts—the verdict is 
that I cannot be changed; and I am 
about to receive a discharge, though not 
an honorable one. 

The only good thing about this ordeal 
is that it gave me the opportunity to 
meet a very wonderful companion at one 
of my duty stations. We love cach other 
and plan to live together as soon as he 
receives his discharge. 

(Name withheld by request) 
APO San Francisco, California 


Tm presently facing an undesirable 
discharge from the Army because I ad- 
mitted having engaged in homosexual 
acis. The C.I.D. (Criminal Investiga- 
tion Department) got onto me when 


they dug up a record of a previous ar- 
rest in Los Angeles when I was a civi 
ian. After several weeks of harassment, 
lies and false promises, such as being 
offered a “gencral discharge” instead of 
desirable," I admitted that I was pres- 
ently going with a man. The C. I. D. had 
searched all my belongings and found a 
etter addressed to him. 

This undesirable discharge does not 
provide transportation back to Califor- 
nia and it will keep me from getting a 
decent job (I worked on cancer research 
at the California Institute of Technology). 
In addition, I am a foreign national and 
may have to face deportation from the 
United States. In short—I'm grounded. 

(Name withheld by request) 
APO San Erancisco, California 


HOMOSEXUAL POLICE 

As a 22-yearold student at an Eastern 
university and a homosexual, 1 think I 
am just as comfortable in my private and 
discreet sexual affairs as my heterosexual 
fraternity brothers are in theirs. I am not 
ashamed. of my inclinations; yet I don't 
make a practice of announcing them to 
the public. 

1 would like to relate an experience 
indicating the extent to which we are 
victimized by members of the police de- 
partment. I recently walked into a public 
Test room with no intention of making a 
“contact” or a “score” (most homosexuals 
don't take such risks). As T was walking 
over to a u a man came in, stood at 
the urinal next to mine and muttered 
something about “soreness” He then 
motioned to me and said, “Hey, buddy, 
look at this.” Perhaps a heterosexual 
would have responded differently, but I 
looked and saw that he had an erection. 
He then flashed a badge at me and told 
me I had better go with him or he would 
get me “bounced out of college.” I went 
with him to a back alley and he forced 


me to perform fellatio on him. 

It is unfortunate that the homosexual 
can't fight back against this type of 
victimization. If a cop were to rape a fe- 


male, she could complain and obtain re- 

course for the offense. What can we do? 
(Name and address 

withheld by request) 


PRISONERS’ PROVENDER 

As Dr. Karl Menninger state: 
Crime of Punishment, our co 
with some exceptions, are a 
disgrace. In our county jail, anyone con- 
fined for as much as 60 days may be en 
Toute to a serious case of atherosclerosis 
Or some other disease caused by an im- 
properly balanced diet. Some prisoners 
may remain for a year, pending appeal. 
Two factors underlie the situation: (1) 


ignorance on the part of authorities about 
nutrition, evidenced by our lard-butted 
sheriff's department; (2) the mistaken idea 


that serving food unfit for hogs somehow 
contributes to prisoner rehabilitation, 


The police image would be considera- 
bly improved and the general health 
level of prisoners and police officers 
raised, if more attention were devoted to 
this problem. 


Davis Bragg 
Attorney at Law 
Killeen, Texas 


TOO MANY PEOPLE 

Iam a sophomore at the University of 
California. Irvine, where I am taking a 
course called Population: "The Vital 
Revolution. I've learned that 10,000 
people every day are dying of malnutri- 
tion and that the struggle to acquire 
more land to support starving people is 

major cause of war. The problem in the 
United States is not nearly as severe as 
in the rest of the world, because the U. S. 
contains only six percent of the world’s 
population but uses approximately 60 pe 
cent of the world’s resoutces. Every Amer 
can has, however, felt the press of huma: 
flesh in one form or another, whether 
be in a traffic jam or in the competition 
to get into a good college and stay there. 

There are only two choices. We can 
increase the death rate by doing nothing 
or decrease the birth rate by doing some- 
thing. If we choose the latter course, we 
should support all efforts to abolish abor- 
tion laws, plan to have fewer children 
ourselves and talk to friends and con- 
vince them to act as a group on u 
problem. 


Gregory K. 
Balboa Island, California 


FAIL-SAFE 
Here is a quotation from the October 
1969 McCall’ 


Since contraceptive methods re- 
main the crux of efficient birth con- 
trol, some disturbing questions can 
no longer be avoided: Why do many 
physicians and clinics continue to 
push failure-prone methods? Why 
are drug companies allowed to 
promote ineffective methods as if 
they were infallible? 

The only real protection for wom- 
«n would be a Federal regulation 
requiring every contraceptive to car- 
ry the approximate effectiveness rate 
on its package and every advertise- 
ment to include the rate in its te: 
Medical associations might even ask 
physicians to post these rates in 
their offices. If a smoker deserves a 
health warning on a cigarette pack- 
age a woman has the right to know 
the gamble she incurs with every 
contraceptive. 


1 completely agree with these propos- 
als, but I would add that medical atti- 
toward yoluntary sterilization and 
abortion are also in need of radical re 
form. It is shocking that, with voluntary 
sterilization legal in all states, doctors and 
s are still reluctant to perform 


59 


PLAYBOY 


60 


this operation unless the woman is a 
certain age or already has a certain 

umber of children. Sterilization is the 
only 100 percent effective form of contra- 
ception and it should be a woman's right 
to make this decision herself, without 
having to meet the requirements of some 
arbitrary judging pancl. As for abortion, 
isn't the world sufficiently overpopulated 
without the Iaw virtually forcing a wom- 
an to have a child she doesn’t want? 

It is time that failsafe birth control 
(effective contraception; sterilization. for 
those who want absolutely sk of 
pregnancy; and abortion, for those who've 
had accidents) be available on demand 
to every woman. The present inflexible 
attitudes imply that legislators, medical 
committees and i 
should be able to exercise more contiol 
over a woman's body than the woman 
herself{—and that is totalitariani: 


Arvada, Colorado 


ABORTION ALTERNATIVE 

I am 26 years old and have two lite 
girls ages five and one. Since I have 
never had a husband, these children are 
officially illegitimate, whatever that 
means. Both children were wanted (al- 
though I didn't want their fathers—not 
permanently!) and I am not on welfare. 
l am the head of the household and 
supporting myself and my little girls 
without any state aid. 

Of course, the picture is not totally 
rosy. My family disapproves of be- 
havior and I can't deny that their feel- 
ings have hurt me deeply. Nonetheless, T 
am glad I didn't rush into unwise mar- 
riages. I enjoy my freedom and I don't 
flaunt my “immorality”; as far as my 
present neighbors and employer know, 
I am a divorcee. 

L am not going 10 come down too hard 
on girls who choose abortion when an 
unwanted pregnancy occurs, but I do think 
that if women had more courage, there 
would bc les necd for abortion. The 
happiness my litde girls have brought 
me more than compensates for the vari- 
ous moralistic condemnations I have had 
to face. 


(Name withheld by request) 
Los Angeles, California 


ABORTION SYMPATHIZER 

A recent discussion with 
Baird, founder of the Parents! Aid Socic- 
ty, called to mind my experience with 
abortion and renewed my indignation at 
one of the greatest injustices of our time 
legislation that denies women the right 
to choose abortion as an alternative to 
unwanted pregnancy. Even more tragic 
is the situation im some states, where 
struction in birth control and dispens- 
ing of contraceptive devices is a crimi 
nal offense. Baird is fighting legal battles 
stemming from his arrest and conviction 
in Massachusetts for dispensing birth- 


William 


control information and contraceptive 
devices. It's interesting to note that Cath- 
olic churches in Massachusetts, under the 
auspices of Cardinal Cushing, offer a 
pamphlet called “The Rhythm Method.” 
The pamphlet costs a dime and I don't 
believe any parish priests have beci 
arrested for selling it. 

A year ago. I was a freshman at a 
well-known university. As a product of a 
broken home and a parochial school edu. 
cation, I knew nothing about birth con- 
trol. I had intercourse once and became 
pregnant, | arranged a trip to Sweden, 
hoping I could find help there, instead 
of losing my life in an illegal abortion in 
the U.S. Luckily. I, was able to obtain a 
safe, legal and painless operation. Since 
then, I have worked in a hospital and 
the suffering and death I have seen as the 
direct result of restrictive abortion laws, 
plus the memory of my own experience, 
have permanently embittered me. 

Baird and | also discussed praynoy’s 
involvement in the abortion issue; and 
we appreciate the magazine's support of 
this worthwhile, though controversial, 
cause. By fighting for the right of every 
woman to practice contraception and to 
obtain an abortion, you are doing as 
much to liberate the American female as 
you have done for the American male. 

(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


ABORTION COMPLICATIONS 

Eleven months ago, I started dating a 
girl from another country who has been 
the States for two years. We became 
timate and she got pregnant. Not hav 
ing lived in this city very long. I didn't 
know where 1 could find a doctor to per- 
form an abortion. Finally, a well-mea 
elderly nurse performed the operation 
ight weeks after conception. It was 
a tabletop proceeding, in a dirty base- 
ment apartment. The experience of 
being in the next room and liste 
y gül's cries of pain was ter 
yond description. Whenever I think of 
what she went through, I tremble. 

During recovi i 
apartment. I had a commitment out of 
town that required my leaving her alone 
for several days, during which time I 
called her periodically. She kept assuring 
me that everything was all right: but T 
had a strange feeling that something was 
wrong, so | flew back. When I saw her, 
I nearly fainted. She had lost what I 
guessed must have been three or four 
pints of blood. (It wasn't the fault of the 
nurse who performed the abortion; my 
girl happens to have a type of blood that 
doesn't coagulate properly.) I decided to 
take her to a local hospital and did so 
at once. The doctors told me that a delay 
of a few hours might have meant her 
death. 

‘This girl and I are married now and 
living happily, but I often wonder 
whether or not some couple, somewhere, 


is facing a similar problem and whether 
or not the girl will be lucky enough to 
her ordeal. I can't understand 
cus 
to recognize the fearful conse- 
quences of people being forced to break 
the law in order to obtain an abortion 
(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


EXTENDED DUTY 
It is a great injustice to young men 
that not only are we asked to fight an 
unjust war but we are told to fecl pride 
and glor I refer to the December 
1969 Playboy Forum letter from Licuten: 
ant Hart, who states that the Marines’ 30 
percent extension rate proves that we 
believe in what we are doing. As a 
Marine who served 19 months in Viet 
nam, 1 know of only three reasons why 
men seek (1) to get the 30 
days. free leave earned by extending; (2) 
1o save money, since it costs more to live 
in the United States; and (3) to escape 
the military-cstablishment men back in 
the States, who are even worse than the 
officers in the Nam. 
Sgt. Steven McCollough 
Camp Lejeune, North Carolina 


UNDERGROUND OPPRESSION 

Along with many other people, 1 
hailed the appearance of underground 
newspapers around the country, because 
they printed material of great social sig 
nificance, were free from conventional 
self-censorship, were ruthlessly honest in 
reporting establishment Ties and were 
dedicated to freeing pcople's heads from 
the oppressions of white middle-class 
Christian American society. Lately, how 
ever, I've noticed that some of the un 
derground papers have become devoted 
to their own brand of oppression and 
dishonesty. 

Too many of the articles are aimed 
inciting the reader to hate some organi 
zation or portion of society. Instead of 
honest journalism, revealing what the 
establishment press tries to hide, many 
underground reporters indulge them- 
selves in blatant propaganda. Anyone 
who disagrees with the writer's thinking 
is labeled a fascist or a racist. Police arc 
invariably referred to as pigs. à word 
that, to me, is as reprehensible as kike or 
nigger. 

I wonde 


t 


how many in the und 
ground audience are aware that such 
journalism. resembles the hate-filled, ur 
documented crap the establish mentarians 
have been shoving down the people's 
throats for years. I really sce no point in 
exchanging one set of masters (opinion 
makers, if you prefer) for another. 
George B. Allen 
Des Moines, lowa 


THE LABEL GAME 
It seems to me that this country's 
traditional political Labels are obsolete 


Why did over 3/4 million record and 
tape collectors pay $5 to join 


ANNOUNCING. 
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ONLY $2.50 


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Record Club of America 


when other record or tape clubs 
would have accepted them free? 


‘Columbia 
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Cartridge 


Compare 
Clubs 
and see 


RCA Victor 
Record Club 
(a5 advertised 
in McCalls 
May 1969) 


RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA 


in Playboy 


Fanuary 1970) |sept.20,1968) Non 1968) 


Nov. 1969) 


LP DISCOUNTS TO 7 9 76 — PRICES as 


CAN YOU 
CHOOSE From 
ALL LABELS? 
LP's OR TAPES. 
INCLUDING 
CARTRIDGE 
CASSETTE AnD 
RELL-TO-REEL 
TAPES? 


‘on any label! 


RCA Victor, 


Choose any LP or tape 
tions! Over 300 differ 
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including Columbia, 


Angel, London, etc. 


tow as 996 per Recoro! 
Typical all-label “Extra Discount’ sale 
BUDGET SERIES AT Y PRICE $ .99 


Frank Sinatra * Petula Clark + Glen Campbell 
Nat Cole + Dean Marlin * Dave Brubeck 


jo excep. 


Capito 


UST YOU BUY 
A "MINIMUM. 
NUMBER OF 
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HOW MANY? 


No abligations No 
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tall if you so decide! 


Jack Jones * John Gary and others 


BUDGET SERIES AT 7; PRICE $1.25 
Woodie Guthrie + Oistrakh = Richter * Callas 
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PLAYBOY 


62 


nowadays, for the liberals are conserva- 
tive, the conservatives are radical and the 
radicals are reactionary. Consider: 

‘The conservative, as popularly under- 
stood, is a person who prefers the securi 
ty of the situs quo to the risks of 
political change or social experiments. 
He views himself more as a realist than 
an idealist and opposes “utopian schemes” 
in favor of the “tried and true." This, to 
me, aptly describes the modern-day liberal, 
whose hidebound intellectual notions and 
30-year-old political nostrums would be 
more appropriately described as conserva 
tive, 

The radical, on the other hand, happi- 
ly runs any risk and employs all means 
to pursue his romantic vision of a better 
or perfect world. The contemporary 
right wing, from Robert Welch through 
William F. Buckley, Jr, right on to 
ard Milhous Nixon, consists of. preciscly 
that breed of reckless visionary who would 
gamble the country’s future (or the 
planet's!) on unrealistic schemes to “stamp 
out communism” and establish a tranquil 
“law "n' order" society. This makes the 
so-called conservative the most romantic 
radical in our nation’s history. 

"The reactionary, finally, is the man 
who would like to turn back the clock 
to a quieter, safer, more primitive time 
when men were free and life was simple. 
This description most closely fits today's 
radicals, with their 1930s pacifism, their 
Populist ideas of local democracy and 
(among the hippics) their spiritualism 
and tribalism borrowed from American 
Indian traditions. In the most radi 
cal group—the authoritarian state-social 
ists—is the most reactionary of all, since 
it advocates a system that probably 
existed in its purest form among the 
ancient Egyptians and the Incas of Peru. 

I wonder if Pravmov's readers will 
agree that my revision of political labels 
is long overdue. 


Will Robertson 


UNEASY RIDER 


school in Arizona. Recently, I was driv- 
ing to school with a friend and passed 
through a small Louisiana town, where 
we stopped for gas. Seeing several police 
cars gathered a block away, we decided 
to stretch our legs and observe the action. 
Midway down the block, we met several 
Negro youths and they told us that some- 
body had been cut. While we were talk- 
ing to them, a policeman ran up and 
asked us, “What the hell are you doing? 
The conversation then went as follows 


way, 


My FRIEND: We're just leaving. 
orFicer: The hell you are. Let me 
see your L D.s. 

SECOND OFFICER (arriving and exam- 
ining our identifications): You snow 
diggers are a long way from Virginia. 


ME: We're on our way to school in 
Phoenix, Arizona 

rmsr OFFICER; What are you doing 
in this town? 

My FRIEND: We're lost. 

quiny Orricek; You uying to get 
smart? 

MY FRIEND; No, we're trying to get 
back to the highway. 

FIRST OFFICER: Get the hell out of 
here and don't let me catch you 
again! 

ME: Yes, sir. 


We started back to our car. My friend 
looked back but said nothing. Immedi- 
y. a fourth officer yelled, "You two 
rds have problems?" We continued 
to walk and I told my friend not to look 
back again. Dumfounded by the way he 
had been treated, he glanced back once 
more, The first officer then shouted, 
“Hey, you two stupid Virginians, come 
here.” We walked back in silence and 
he told us, “You're under arrest. Get in 
the car.” I asked what we were charged 
with but got no answer. My friend was 
pushed toward the police car and, for no 
reason I could sce, clubbed three or four 
times on the head. I was neither pushed. 
nor clubbed and I climbed rapidly into 
the car. 

We were taken to the lockup and 
frisked. An officer told us to stand fac 
ing the wall and lean forward so that 


i 
our weight was supported by our hands. 
"Then he told my friend to remove his 
shoes. When my friend released his left 
hand to untie his shoclace, the officer 
yelled, "Put your goddamn hand 
back!” Then he tried the same game on 
me. When I kicked my loafers off with- 
out removing my hands from the wall, 
he told me to remove my socks abo. I 
tried to do so by rubbing one foot 
st the opposite leg; he screamed, "E 
didn't tell you you could lift your damn 
foot, boy!” 

We were charged with interfering with 
police officers, obscenity, loitering and 
vagrancy. We were allowed to call a law- 
yer and then locked in a cell overnight. 
In the morning, we went to a lineup, 
where we were asked such intelligent 
questions as “Why the fuck are you from 
Portsmouth, boy?" Finally, our lawyer got 
us out on bail and we proceeded to "get 
the hell out of there." 

Let me emphasize: We did not inter- 
fere with the police officers, use obscenity 
or loiter and—with $250 in our pockets, 
an automobile and a wardrobe of clothes 
—we hardly qualified as vagrants. At the 
time of our arrest, we were neither told. 
the charge against us nor informed of 
our civil liberties. And. contrary to the 
preconceived notions of conservative 
readers, we not “dirty, long-haired 
hippies"; my friend has short hair and 
works at a bank and | also am an- 
cut” and was wearing a tie. 

If anyone thinks that the film Easy 


‘cl 


Rider exaggerates what many small 
Southern towns are like, let him go and 
see for himself. 
Paul English 
Phoenix, Arizona 


TEXAS JUSTICE 

Returning by car from a vacation in 
Mexico I was halted for 2 Customs in- 
spection at the border. A small quantity 
of marijuana was found in the car and 
I was taken to jail by a Texas Ranger. 

Alter having all my personal posses- 
sions taken away, I was led up two 
flights of stairs and into a dark corridor 
of small, cramped cells, each containing 
cight prisoners. I was given a torn, ver- 
min-infested mattress to sleep on and 
fed the lowest grade of food imaginable. 
During my four-day stay, I learned how 
the police in a border town operate. 
Through information I received from fel- 
low inmates (90 percent were there for 
bringing grass into the U.S.), I learned. 
as soon as any American is sold 
Mexico, the seller promptly 
the federales and supplics them 
with all the necessary descriptive data 
(license-plate number, erc); for this hu- 
manitarian act, he is monetarily rewarded. 
The federales, in turn, pass this informa- 
tion on to the United States Customs 
agents, "The inspectors are waiting at the 
border and they literally tear the car apart 


until they find what they're looking for. 
I was indicted on three counts and 
faced a possible ten years in Federal 


prison. When my arraignment eventually 
came around, I pleaded guilty to. only 
one count of the indicunent (failure to 
pay the marijuana transfer tax). I re- 
ceived a two-year suspended sentence, 
with five years of supervised. probation. 
My car, which 1 last saw at the Customs 
inspection, was impounded and my pci 
tions for its return have been denied. Tt 
will be auctioned off and the proceeds 
presumably will go to the Government. 

1 sincerely hope this letter reaches 
as many “felonious” pot smokers as possi- 
ble; if they will pay heed to the harsh 
and unusual methods of border opera- 
tions they may be spared from falling 
into the tentacles of Texas justice. 

Harold Altschuler 
Queens, New York 


GENERATION OF PARANOIDS 

You might find the enclosed article from 
The Flint Journal interesting enough to 
publish: 


Barbara Bencsik was just like 
many of the hippies who took up 
residence in Willson Park this sum- 
mer. 

She dressed as they did, talked a 
they did and moved in to become a 
accepted member of the group. 

But there was a difference. 
She was a police undercover agent 
and was instrumental in the arrest 


S NONU à N S Nb S 
Suave. But with the 1970 kind of savvy thal accepls no subslitules for what's real. Bass Tacks 
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PLAYBOY 


64 


of several persons in the park Sep- 
tember 5 on drug charges 

“I made dose attachments,” s 
the attractive blonde. “They con- 
fided in me. I was their buddy. 

“Then you bust ‘em, and I'm the 
lowest form of animal.” 

Miss Bencsik, 20, is a senior ma- 
joring in police administration and 
public safety at Michigan State Uni- 
versity. 
she wants to become a police- 


y don't know why,” she 
“My main interest had been in 
juvenile delinquency and crime pre- 
ventiou, but then T learned I hated 
little kids and switched my interest 
to the kiw-enforcement end.” 


said. 


That last se 

itself, doesn’t it? 
s one of the people busted by Miss 
id. I'll probably end up with a 
felony conviction, even if the judge is in 
a charitable mood and gives me probation 
instead of prison. People who coun- 
tenance such police methods should seri- 
ously consider the effects upon the minds 
and hearts of youth. In my case, will 1 
ever again fully trust another human 
being? Can I afford to? Will the others 
who were busted with me ever be able to 
ally to friendly overtures 
be chronically suspicious and 
withdrawn? I myself was not what most 
people consider a hippie; I held a decent 
job and felt amusement rather than 
hatred toward the establishment. Now, 
of course, my emotions are more hostile, 
my attitudes more untrusting—and my 
chance for getting another good job is 
much slimmer. 

The police are breeding a generation 
of paranoids, and unemployable ones to 
boot. How much law and order do they 
think they're going to scc in the next 
decade when they methodically teach us 
fear, hatred, distrust and alienation? 

(Name withheld by request) 
Flint, Michigan 


ence really speaks for 


ANTI-POT PROPAGANDA 

I just read a newspaper article about 
drug experiments performed on animals; 
they were injected with resin extracted 
from Cannabis and the result was dam 
age to the brain and nervous system of 
their progeny. However, the dosage and 

ition of the injections 
were not specified; there was no attempt 
made to compare injections of this res 
with the normal mode of consumption of 
marijuana by inhalation of smoke; and 
there was no comparison between animal 
and human subjects. Readers of the arı 
cle were left t0 draw their own scary 
conclusions. 

Isn't it reasonable to assume that doses 
of Cannabis resin injected into the 
blood stream of a pregnant animal arc 
likely to affect development of the fetal 
nervous system in ways that bear no 


relation to the effect of inhaling mari- 
juana smoke? Would not similar injec 
tions of nicotine, tobacco tar or alcohol 
have a similarly detrimental effect? Are 
there any experimental results in exist- 
ence that conclusively prove that smok- 
ing pot is seriously unhealthy? 
America has a strange bia 
comes to choosing its poisons. 
Scott Backus 
Savannah, Georgia 
To answer your questions in order: 
Yes. No. 


s when it 


SERGEANT SUNSHINE 
I arrested many marijuana users du 
ig my 12 years as an officer and sergeant 
of the San Francisco Police Department. 
In August 1967, while 1 was the prison- 
keeper of the I interviewed 
around 300 prisoners in my custody and 
discovered that over one third of them 
were under 24 and charged with poses- 
sion of marijuana. It became obvious to 
me that the time and energy of the police, 
the district attorney's office, the courts and 
related social agencies attempting to stamp 
out marijuana use by conyentional puni- 
tive methods are entirely wasted. In sp 
of the most stringent laws, use of pot 
continues to skyrocket; police efforts to 
enforce these laws only increases the dis- 
respect and hatred of large numbers of 
young people. This loss of public respect 
is no small problem: It concretely ham- 
pers police efficiency in dealing with real 
crimes against people. The true crisis in 
law enforcement today is police aliena- 
tion from the public they are sworn to 
sere 

‘The crime-and-punishment approach to 
marijuana use betrays a tragic ignorance of 
human nature. An analysis of causc-and- 
clicct relationships between prohibition of 
marijuana and its use by the young sug- 
gests that pot laws have the opposite effect 
from that intended, Young people have 
told me they started smoking it because 
of its forbidden-fruit mystique. They rea- 
soned that anything so severely suppressed 
must be far-out stuff. They saw and heard 
so much about the evils of pot that curiosity 
prompted them to get stoned, 

During the course of my studies for 
the sergeant’s examination, | learned 
that the detrimental effects of Cannabis 
were less than those of alcohol. For 
ars, I had been an occasional drinke: 
now I found pot was a far stperior high 
and I soon abandoned alcohol As a 
catalyst for lending life to a party, booze 
is inferior to weed and weed leaves you 
with no hangovers and no liver damage. 
Inevitably, like all. beginners, I overi 
dulged in pe nd | found that the re- 
sulting checks and balances consisted only 
of burning cyes and an unpleasantly d 
mouth. But I also found it easier to use 
pot intelligently and avoid these symp- 
toms than to control whiskey drinking 
and escape a hangover. The oi 
elfect from pot I have seen is J 


ence—a terrible trauma for young im- 
pressionable psyches- but this is created, 
not by the drug, but by the laws against 
the drug. 

I ultimately res 


ined from the police 
force rather dramatically—lighting a mari- 
juana cigarette on the steps of San Fran- 
disco's Hall of Justice on Easter Sund: 
1968, as an act of protest against the 
nti-pot Jaws. Since then, I have been 
constantly amazed at the bitter feelings 
of my former brothers in blue. They 
have gone to unbelievable lengths to 
harass me, culminating in a raid on my 
home during my absence. Using state- 
ments 1 had made on TV as “probable 
cause,” local, state and Federal narcotics 
officers secured a search warrant. Twelve 
armed men climbed a six-foot fence with 
drawn pistols and riot guns and con- 
fronted my wife, my two sons (ages nine 
and eleven) and my dog. After acciden- 
tally spraying my family with Mace and 
threatening to shoot the dog, they kicked 
in both front and back doors and ran- 
sacked the house for fivc hours. We were 
charged with. possession of onc half ounce 
of marijuana and two caps of LSD. 

Some of these same officers subsequent 
ly had a bizarre shoot-out with one an- 
other, in which two Federal agents were 
killed and one wounded, during a mari- 
juana stake-out. The suspect, who was 
unarmed at the time, was ch reed with. 
murder, bur this charge u ely had 
to be dropped. 

If these champions of law and order 
have their way, I will spend two years i 
the state prison and my wife will give 
birth 10 our expected child, separated from 
me when she needs me most. Can any- 
body seriously believe that this is an 
intelligent or humane way to protect 
soci from the doubtful dangers of 
marijuana? 

Love, peace and brotherhood. 

Richard R. Bergess 
Berkeley, California 

When formerSergeant Bergess carried 
out his act of protest at San Francisco's 
Hall of Justice ("Forum Newsfront,” Au- 
gust 1968), he was identified as Ser 
geant Sunshine by many newspapers and 
is best known under thal name. Actually, 
“Sergeant Sunshine” was a title of afjec- 
tion given him by young people of the 
Bay Area. 


mi 


“The Playboy Forum" offers the oppor- 
tunity for an extended dialog between 
readers and editors of this publication 
on subjecis and issues raised in Hugh 
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“The Playboy Philosophy.” Four booklet 
reprints of “The Playboy Philosophy," 
including installments 1-7, 8-12, 13-18 
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©1970 Liggett & Myers Inc. 


There is a cigarette for the two of you. Lem. 
imm 


wow. RAY CHARLES 


a candid conversation with the incomparable musician known as “the genius” 


Ray Charles has been an internation- 
al institution for so long that only a 
handful of those under 30 can remem- 
ber when the singer-instrumentalist-band- 
leader-businessman wasn't looming over 
the music scene in such outsized dimen- 
sions as to appear more myth than man. 
By any measure the dean of the current 
soul movement, Charles has the ability 
to reduce the diverse idioms of blues, 
country-and-western, jazz, thythm-and- 
blues and rock to an emotional common 
denominator that overcomes barriers of 
language and culture around the world. 
Frank Sinatra—voicing the almost unan- 
imous sentiments of Ray's colleagues— 
calls him “the giant of our profession.” 

In recognition of his indispensabiliiy 
to any consideration of American music, 
Charles was featured last year in a threc- 
hour segment of the 48-hour RKO radio 
network special “A History of Rock 
’n’ Roll.” Former U.S. Representative 
Charles S. Joelson praised the sightless 
soul singer from the floor of the U.S. 
Congress for his “inner eye,” and added, 
“He can see more deeply than many of 
us who lack his sensitivity." Not long 
ago, the government of France struck a 
bronze medallion and presented it to 
him on behalf of the French people; his 
bust also occupies a place of honor in The 
Playboy Jazz & Pop Hall of Fame. He has 
been asked to preside as the honorary 
chairman for life of the Rhythm-and- 
Blues Hall of Fame, and to sing one of 
the songs nominated for an Oscar at this 
year’s Academy Awards ceremonies. 

In 1967, Los Angeles city councilman 


Let's say that a cat with eyes gels to- 
gether with a sexy woman. Well, she's 
got half her battle won right there. Now, 
with me, she’s got to show how good her 
talents work before 1 even twitch.” 


Thomas Bradleys motion to honor the 
singer’s 20th anniversary in the music 
business was overwhelmingly approved by 
the city government, and on June 8th, 
Los Angeles observed a city-wide Ray 
Charles Day. The following year, be- 
sides adding three more gold albums— 
the cerlification that a recording artist has 
sold 1,000,000 or more copies of an LP— 
to his already abundant harvest, he co- 
starred with “soul sister number one?" 
Aretha Franklin, in a prize-winning series 
of commercials for Goca-Cola, and hcad- 
lined a number of tclevision specials. 
Charles's video exposure was cuen more 
frequent last year. He made appearances 
on the Glen Gampbell, Andy Williams, 
Smothers Brothers, Joey Bishop and Mero 
Griffin shows, 

Now 39, Charles shrewdly began reap- 
ing more profits from his talents than his 
performances alone could bring when, in 
1962, he formed his own recording com- 
pany, Tangerine Records, and became 
the firm's president and technical advisor. 
Early in 1969, he announced plans to 
broaden even further the scope of his 
entertainment empire, now grown to 
multimillion-dollar proportions, with the 
addition to Tangerine of two music- 
publishing firms, a property-management 
company and a talent-management branch 
that presently nurtures the gifts of 
more than 20 promising young acis. All of 
the enteriainer's. business operations are 
housed under one roof: the Charles-owned. 
R.P.M. International Building in Los 
Angeles. 

But Gharles spends far more time on 
the road than al home—traveling in his 


“If the blues cver really gets sung by a 
white person, it'll be a Jew that does it. 
They've had a history very similar to the 
black man's: They've known what it is to 
be somebody else’s footstool.” 


personal Viscount with the large Ray 
Charles Revuc, consisting of an all-girl 
quartet called the Raeletts, a Ii-piece 
orchestra, several other acts and two 
stage non-musician assistants, plus a valet 
and his longtime friend and business man- 
ager, Joe Adams. His itinerary may take 
him to as many as 40 states and 30 for- 
vign countries each year. Charles also owns 
a smaller plane thai he uses for short hops 
and pleasure flying, all of which—he 
hastens to assure those who might believe 
the rumor that he’s at the controls—is 
done by his pilot. He is, however, justly 
proud of his self-sufficiency and disdains 
dependence oj any kind. He "watches" 
television and live sporting events, in ad- 
dition to making repairs on many ma- 
chines and electronic appliances around 
his home and office. He also possesses an 
intuitive sense of the difference between 
day and night. “I can hear better when it 
gets dark,” he claims. 

Charles's blindness and blackness ave 
but two of the factors responsible for the 
extraordinary pathos of his voice. Anoth- 
er measure of the authenticity of ils 
pain-drenched timbre is the fact that, for 
19 years of his life, Charles was a heroin 
addict. After several brushes and a cou- 
ple of outright confrontations with the 
law—the last of which took place in 
Boston in 1965—Charles voluntarily en- 
tered St. Francis Hospital in Lynwood, 
California, in August of that year. After 
a three-month recuperation period, during 
which he underwent medical and psychi- 
atric help in defeating his habit, the 
unsinkable entertainer took a year’s rest 
Then he announced the formation of a 


"I believe more in the power of the vote 
than in geiting a gun and trying to kill off 
the whole white race. I think that’s abso- 
lutely siupid. One oj the only sensible 
weapons the black man's got is the ballot.” 


PLAYBOY 


68 


new revue in early 1966. Instantly, he 
was back in his familiar position in the 
world of showbiz: at the top. No one 
has ever paid higher dues to get there. 

Born the first son of Bailey and Aretha 
Robinson on September 23, 1930, in Al- 
bany, Georgia, Ray Charles Robinson 
spent his early years with all his faculties 
intact. His introduction to music by a 
neighbor and the tragedy of his younger 
brother's death are two of his memories 
of important events from his sighted 
years. Shorily after his sixth birthday, 
an eye disease—which doctors subse- 
quenily diagnosed as glaucoma—gradually 
claimed his sight. A year later, irrevo- 
cable darkness surrounded the youngster 
and his parents had to enroll him at a 
school for the blind in St. Augustine, 
Florida. It was there that “Foots,” as Ray 
was called by his schoolmates for his 
shoeless arrival at the school, gathered 
whatever formal music education he 
would recetwe—which was apparently suf- 
ficient; he learned to read and write music 
in braille and to play almost every in- 
strument in the school band. Early in 
1969, he returned briefly to his alma 
mater to be honored as ils most oul- 
standing alumnus. 

It wasn’t until he reached the age of ten, 
the year his father died, that Ray felt the 
full impact of being black in the United 
States: “A little white guy T was playing 
with at school happened to call me ‘nig- 
ger’ Before the incident, I really didn’t 
know exactly what the word meant, but 
1 got so mad when 1 heard it that I just 
picked him up like a sack of flour and 
dropped him flat. They made me wash 
dishes with the girls for two weeks as 
punishment.” Five years later, his moth- 
er, who had been his source of strength 
through all previous hardships, also died. 
Alone with his music, Ray quii school 
and alternated for a time between semi- 
starvation and occasional gigs with local 
jazz groups in the Georgia-Florida area. 
“Times and me got leaner and leaner,” 
he recalls, “but anything beat getting a 
cane and a cup and picking out a street 
corner." 

At 17, determined to get “as far away 
from where I was as possible"—and ap- 
parently from who he was, since he had 
by then shortened his name, to avoid 
being mistaken for Sugar Ray Robin- 
son, the boxer—Charles took $600 he 
had saved from intermittent jobs and 
journeyed to Seattle. Soon after he arrived 
in town, he decided to cut a record —and. 
found himself promptly fined heavily for 
violating a recording ban imposed by 
musicunion czar James Petrillo during a 
long musicians’ strike. “Everybody was 
cutting records then,” Charles says re- 
signedly. “Only I didn’t know you were 
supposed to lie about it” Side one of that 
unfortunale disc was appropriately titled 
“Confession Blues." 

When the strike was over, work came 
quickly for a while, with the singer- 


instrumentalist imitating a number of 
then-successful performers, until it oc- 
curred to him that Ray Charles might 
have something uniquely valuable of his 
own to offer. So he began to do his own 
inimitable thing, and for the next [ew 
years—though he would heve been an 
admirable addition to anyone's band at 
the prices for which he was willing to 
work—jobs were sporadic and second- 
rate. He toured for a year with Lowell 
Fulson's blues band and later formed a 
combo to back vocalist Ruth Brown. Then 
he did an unnoticed single at Harlem’s 
Apollo Theater. Back in Seattle, things 
began to pick up when the Maxim Trio, 
a group he pul together in 1953, became 
the first black act to get its own spon- 
sored television show in the Pacific 
Northwest. Returning to the club circuit 
after the show folded, he was frustrated 
by the quality of musicianship he found 
among the various pickup groups with 
which he had to work, and he formed a 
permanent septet for roadwork. With 
this group, in 1954, Charles waxed his 
first national hit, “I Got a Woman,” 
which critic Nat Hentoff described as 
“secularized Gospel.” 

From that point on, Charles produced 
a nearly unbroken string of hits; and 
when he changed record companies in 
1959, his popularity went into even 
higher orbit with his recording of the 
venerable “Georgia on My Mind.” Two 
years later, with financial rewards rolling 
in, he won the first of five consecutive 
awards as top male vocalist in Down 
Beats International Jazz Critics’ Poll. 
The National Academy of Recording 
Arts and Sciences gave him the first of 
several of its highly respected Grammy 
Awards that same year. And in 1962, 
Charles recorded the iconoclastic LP 
“Modern Sounds in Country and West- 
ern," which appeared. io mixed critical 
acclaim but solid. financial returns. The 
album also earned him another gold rec- 
ord, and one of the singles therefrom— 
“I Can't Siop Lovin’ You"—has sold 
ever 3,000,000 copies to date. Insisting 
on excellence from all about him, he 
continues to record the kind of material 
that wins new friends and keeps the old 
ones. 

Though he might not qualify as a 
militant, Charles has very definite opin- 
ions on civil rights and contributes to 
the betterment of race relations in the 
manner he knows best: through his art. 
His primary charitable preoccupation is 
the Sickle Cell Disease Research Founda- 
tion, of which the singer was made na- 
tional honorary chairman three years ago. 
Sickle-cell disease is a form of anemia, 
90 percent of whose victims are black 
children. 

When not at the mercy of his hectic 
schedule, Charles can usually be found 
at home in his $300,000 house, with its 
grand piano-shaped swimming pool, in 
the View Park section of Los Angeles. 


There, with his second wife, Della, to 
whom he has been married for the past 
16 years, and his sons, Ray, Jr., 15, David, 
13, and Robert, 10, Charles is able to 
steal a litile relaxation. His home away 
from home, however, is the R.P.M. 
Building, where, in « normally cyclonic 
day, he might put in up to If hours 
recording both sides of a single or three 
tracks of an album and editing as many 
or more, auditioning a prospective new- 
comer or two to the ranks of the talent 
his firm manages, ironing out a few 
scores with their arrangers and tying 
together the loose ends of management 
on all levels, in addition to greeting a 
dozen or more old friends. It was in his 
plush office, walled in black cork, that 
rLAYWOY Assistant Editor Bill Quinn 
caught Charles between moves—often 
enough and long enough to complete the 
following interview. 


PLAYBOY: You were one of the first sing- 
ers in what music critic Barbara Gardner 
once called the “natural Negro idiom” 
to gain wide acceptance among black and 
white audiences alike. How do you ex- 
plain this broad appeal? 
CHARLES: For the real answer to thar 
question, you'd have to ask the people 
who buy my records and come to my 
shows—the black people and the white 
people. All 1 can say is that I'm sincere 
in my work; I give it all I've got. But 
Tm not saying that's the answer, cither, 
because lots of performers are just as 
carnest as I am, maybe more so. and luck 
ha: that they've never made it. Who 
knows why? I guess my emotions have a 
lot to do with the way my songs come 
out. Some nights I sing the blucs and 
I'm under control. Other nights 1 sing 
the same songs and I can hardly keep 
the tears from rolling down my face. I 
just ty never to be mechanical about 
what I'm doing and I try not to short 
change my audiences—whether I'm play- 
ing to 100 people or 100,000. 
PLAYBOY: Your fans obviously go for that. 
approach, because to many of them, 
you're known as “The Genius.” Frank 
inatra even went as far as to call you 
the "only genius in the business." 
CHARLES: Yeah, Frank did say that. AF 
though 1 really appreciate the nice 
names people call me—especially since, 
in this business, I’m bound to get called 
a few dirty ones, too—I'm kind of scared 
of that label. Genius means the top of 
the heap, which, if a guy doesn't watch 
himself, can also mean in a rut 
PLAYBOY: You're also known 
ius of soul.” Since the word soul has 
many interp ions, what's yours 
CHARLES: It’s got different strokes for dif- 
ferent folks. To me, when you're talking 
about people with soul, you're 
about warm, understanding, downto- 
people that do things from the heart. If 
you're talking about a soulful relationshi 
with a member of the opposite sex, that 


means onc that's genuine, for real. It's 
when nobody's faking nothing—when 
you're truly communicating with your 
partner. If you're talking about soul food, 
you're talking about the kind of food 1 
love: neck bones, knuckles, collard greens, 
black-eyed peas and chitterlings. They're. 
mostly foods that became popular during 
slavery and the Depression, when black 
people had to make a little bit go a long 
way. Many of us still have to do that, 
but nowadays, people all over have found 
out how good it is; even Lyndon Johnson 
cats some of it. I don't know if he's soul- 
ful enough for chitterlings yet, but he 
knows all about ham hocks and collards. 
PLAYBOY: You're often. quoted as saying 
that you "want people to feel my soul." 
Why this great urge to open your inner- 
most self to your audiences—people who 
are strangers? 

CHARIES: I love this business I'm ii 
like a hobby that I happen to get paid 
for. Besides, my mother always told me 
to be incere as | can be at whatever 
Tm doing in life—whether it’s shining 
other folks’ shoes, emptying other folks 
bage or singing other folks’ troubles 
ay. Alter all, the other name of this 
game is the communications business. 
I've got to be able to reach the public— 
to make them feel that the girl I'm 
singing about really did take all my 
money and run off with my best fiend 
last night —or I won't be around long as 
a performer. The way I seem to communi: 
cate best is through sad songs, because 
when people are sad—swhich is most 
of the time—they want to hear something 
that compounds that sadness, something 
that makes 'em cry that much more, Then, 
when they've got it all out of their sys 
tems, they can go through the rest of the 
day fine. That's why so many people have 
leaned on the blucs over all these years. 
The blues won't go out of style until 
people stop hurting each other. But cer- 
tain blues singers go out of style quick 
if the public doesn't believe they really 
know what pain is all about. 

PLAYBOY: Today, in what might be called 
the post Beatle era, many white groups 
have gone in for full-blooded adapta- 
tions of blues styles—the Muddy Waters- 
B. B. King-Howlin’ Wolf approach— 
coupled with an abundance of electronic 
mplification. What about that. blend? 
CHARLES: White kids will never feel 
about Muddy or B. B. the way they feel 
about the Rolling Stones or Blood, 
Sweat & Tears. They've got to have en- 
terta s from th own race to idolize, 
it seems. Negroes have been singing 
rhytim-and-blues, or soul music, as it's 
called now, more or less as you hear it 
nce before I was born. But white 
s weren't going to let their daugh- 
ters swoon over those black cats, so they 
never got widely known. Then along 
came Elvis Presley and the white kid: 
had a hero. All that talk about rock "n. 


ies 


but black musicians 
started to get a lite play, roo. When the 
English boys came on the scene, they 
admitted where they got their inspira- 
tion and that caused even more interest 
in the real blues. Fm glad to see these 
youngsters doing our music. It enhances 
the guys who originated it. the same a 
one of those symphony orchesuas ei 
hances Beethoven, 

PLAYBOY: Then you view the current 
terest in soul among whites as a healthy 
phenomenon, instead of a case of cultur- 
al robbery, as some black and white critics 
have claimed? 

CHARLES: Just because Bell invented the 
telephone is no reason to say Ray 
Charles can't use it. It’s ridiculous to 
music for certain races. I've 
1 some people say that the big pro- 
bout soul is just another one of 
the white man's second-story jobs, but 
there certainly are many more black art- 
ists being heard on white stations today 
who weren't there a few years ago—and 
their music is being played just the way 
they play it, | mean that these white 
stations—some of them are top40 and 
some are called underground stations— 

e playing the real blues, wi 


$a 


standing. and the more of it we can get 
between people—I don't care 
through music, sports or what, as long as 
people can get together and realize that 
so-and-so is nor such a bastard after 
all—the better off we'll all be. 
PLAYBOY: But why, since soul has been 
around all these years, is it suddenly so 
popular with whites? 
CHARLES: For the same reasons people are 
so willing to discuss venereal disease and 
birth control and abortion. If any group 
is responsible, it’s the kids; they're not 
buying the old stories they were told by 
their parents. They're beginning to want 
to do thingy and find things out for 
themselves and, as a result, they're expe 
menting with all the old taboos, White 
people in the South used to tell their 
kids that the blues was the Devil's music. 
‘They said that anybody who listened to 
it would go to hell. Then, along comes 
this big communications system and the 
white kids heard some of those devilish 
"race records” down there at the far end 
of the radio dial. They liked what they 
heard and they're sill around, so they 
aren't going for the old stories anymore, 
I guess they also realize that rhythm- 
and-blues and jazz are the only really 
American music there is. The average 
white guy can't talk about classical music 
or opera—unless he just got off the boat 
from Italy or Germany or somewhere 
like that. For all of us, black and white, 
the only music we can call our own is 
what's being made here. I guess whites 
aren't going to let black people keep a 
monopoly on it any longer. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think that the musical 
forms now identified with blacks, as well 


as those of country-and-western and such 
exotic influences as the Greek and East 
Indian, will eventually merge to produce 
a single American sound? 

CHARLES: They might, but there'll still be 
differences—according to who's singing 
You're not going to find a whole lot of 
whites who can sing like Muddy Wat 
You may find one or two who come close 
—come to think of it, I've heard one 
or two latcly—but, generally spe; 
there'll always be that little difference. 
PLAYBOY: Are you saying that whites can't 
really sing the blues? 

CHARLES: I didn't say that; they tell me 
that anything's possible. I only say that 
I've never heard a white singer who can 
sing the blues effectively—the way. say. 


that Aretha Franklin sings them, But who 
knows—tomorrow, maybe somebody will 
come along. After all. the blues is mainly 


music about people's troubles, and every- 
body's entitled to a few of those; it's the 
degree of trouble that makes the dif- 
ference. If the blues ever really gets 
sung by a white person, it'll be the Jew 
that docs it. I think they've had a history 
very similar to the black man's; They've 
been persecuted all over the world and 
they've known what it is to be somebody 
el footstool. 
PLAYBOY: Accepting 
environment and personal experiences 
determine one's artisti lity, how do 
you justify yourself—a black man—as a 
country-and-western singer? 

CHARLES: What I did was take country 
and-western songs and sing them my 
way. [n other words, I didn't try to 
imitate Hank Snow or Grandpa Jones. I 
did the same thing with songs like Geor- 
gia, which has been around for over 30 
years. T think there's a vast difference 
between putting your thing on a so 
and trying to be a certain kind of 
Whatever the song, jazz or countryand- 
western, it’s got to sound like I did it or 
Im not going to release it. 

PLAYBOY: Were you aware at the time you 
cut your country-and-western albums that 
a number of purists among your fans ob- 
jected to your venturing into that area? 
CHARLES: I've been listening to Grand Ole 
Opry since I was eight or nine years old, 
and I happen to dig it. But the main 
reason I did these hillbilly tunes was 
that there arc millions of everyday people 
who listen to this music—not just in the 
States but in Europe and “Asia, too. 
Countryand-western, to my mind, is a 
very sincere form of music, just like the 
blues. It's the kind of music that you 
don't go to school to learn to play: 
you've either got it in your soul or you 
haven't. just like the blues. It's not pret 
tied up or glossed over, and it’s about 
poor people and dirt farmers and all the 
little folks who are having a tough time 
of it just staying alive—exactly like the 
blues. Those hillbilly tunes, the real 
ones, get right down to earth; they talk 
about being flat-out drunk in some bar 


69 


PLAYBOY 


70 


or fecling guilty about screwing your 
neighbor's wife. Its the niwy-gritty; it’s 
just about poor whites instead of poor 
blacks, that’s all. 

PLAYBOY: But there is a difference in cul- 
tural environment between the groups. 
CHARLES: Of course there is. Just loo! 
at a white guy living in the hills ki 
Kentucky, you might say: “He lives in a 
tarpaper shack, not enough to eat and 
raggedy clothes on his back, just like the 
black man; he's in poverty, just like the 
black man." But if you come to that 
conclusion, I must sty to you that the 
hillbilly man can go anywhere he wants 
to; he can do anything he wants to; he 
doesn't have any restrictions against him 
whatsoever; he can even live in a black 
ghetto if he wants to. But it takes ten. 
housing laws and 30 tanks for a black 
n to get into some of these white 
suburbs. Americans love to say they hate 
«ommunism, but a Russian can come 
over here and get better treatment than 
a black American citizen. And, Christ, 
don't let me forget the real Americanz 
the red man. Yeah, it'll be Jews, or 
maybe Indians, who sing the blues first 
after us, because that poor hillbilly 
either likes the way he lives—and that's 
perfectly all right with me—or he's just 
too damn lazy to make something of 
himself. The blues isn't about choosing 
to be in poverty. 

PLAYBOY: How do you account for white 
girl singers, such as Janis Joplin and 
Grace Slick, who sing carthier, more 
bluesy material than many of their black 
counterparts, such as Shirley Bassey and 
Leslie Uggams? 

CHARLES: Ba 
white girls who s 
were called red-hot mommas. 
could still tell the difference 
Sophie Tucker and Bessie Smith. 
you still can, 

PLAYBOY: Why do you think the top 
black female vocalists, such as Ella Fitz- 
gerald, Sarah Vaughan, Carmen McRae 
and Nancy Wilson, have been striving 
over the past generation for a more 
"legitimate" sound than the Bessie Smiths, 
Ma Raineys, lic Holidays, Nellie 
Lutchers and Dinah Washingtons had? 
CHARLES: I'd say that singers like Carmen 
and Ella and Sarah are trying to get to 
as many people as they can—and not 
just for the sake of moncy, either. When 
the President makes a speech, he wants 
to speak to all Americans. These girls 
obviously reach more people than they 
would if they only sang blues. I sing 
more than one way for the same reason. 
PLAYBOY: Then you don't think—as some 
old blues men told Charles Keil in his 
book Urban Blues—that there aren't any 
more great black female blues singers 
ack women don't have any- 
thing to be blue about anymore"? 
CHARIES: black women have just as much. 
trouble, just as much pain as they ever 


mz 


the Thirties, you had 
ng like that, too; they 
But you 
between 
And 


had. Times haven't changed in that re- 
spect. And we still have women blue 
singers, modern blues singers like Are- 
tha, who in my book is the best girl 
singer around—I don't care what color. 
There are singers that know more music, 
maybe, but—talking about bringing it up 
from the heart—there's nobody can do it 
the way she does. In time, she'll probably 
be as great a legend as Bessie Smith or 
Billie Holiday. After all, how many Bil- 
lics or Bessies are you going to have in. 
one lifetime? 

PLAYBOY: You have recorded only one LP 
with a female singer, Ray Charles and 
Beity Carter. Do you think we'll hear a 
Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin album. 
in the near future? 

CHARLES: Well, as close as we've come so 
far are the Coke commercials we did 
while ago. I'd love to get together with 
her, but she’s under contract to another 
record company and I doubt if it's possi- 
ble any time soon without a big hassle. 
PLAYBOY: Why is it that there are just as 
many great male blues singers today as 
there ever were? 

CHARLES: Well, the majority of all records 
sold—blues or not—arc made by males, 
because women buy more records than 
men. Not only that: women make thei 
men go out and get the records that they 
want to hear. Naturally, these records 
are made by men. On top of that, a 
young guy may go out and buy a record 
by a male singer because he's a little shy 
and that singer is saying exactly what 
he'd like to say to his girl but doesn't 
know how. This business is geared to 
male singers all the way around. 
PLAYBOY: A moment ago, you observed a 
parallel between Jews and blacks. That 
seems ironic, in view of the reported 
upsurge of i 
areas of Ame 
CHARLES: Yes, I know that some black 
people are saying the Jew has been in 
our communities, sapping us of this and 
stealing that. But, hell, I know some 
black people in those same communities 
who have been sipping and stealing 
from black folks as fast as that Jew. One 
of the white man’s faults has been that 
he’s been too quick to condemn my 
whole race. Now, if black people turn 
right around and say that all Jews are 
thieves and crooks, we're just as wrong as 
the white man, and it might as well be 
dog eat dog: I say this: Jf black folks find 
a Jew in their community who's not giv- 
ing them a fair shake, they should throw 
his ass out, While they're at it, they might 
also kick out those Negroes who're over- 
charging and shoi shting them. "This 
can be done by just not patronizing them; 
they'll soon have to close up. Frankly, I 
must say that Jews have been some of the 
black man’s biggest supporters in this 
country, so I can't sce spitting on a help- 
ing hand. Besides that, the black man 
could stand to take a page or two out of 


the Jews’ book by sticking together and 
helping one's own. 

PLAYBOY; Speaking of helping one's ow 
what do you do for the black cause? 
CHARLES: Well, since I'm limited in some 
s—like, on a picket line, I'd have a 
little trouble knowing when to duck the 
billy clubs and the bricke—I operate 
mostly in a fund-raising capacity. Let's 
face it; I don't care what project you 
come up with, it takes money to put it 
ovcr. Wc usually do bencfit concerts for 
the Southern. Christian Leadership Con- 
ference and small Negro colleges and 
other groups we think are doing a good 
job, but we don't do free benefits. We 
ask whoever we're doing the show for to 
pay us, just like any other commercial 
promoters have to. Then we give them 
back all or part of the check, depending 
on what we want to do. We've found 
that whoever’s in charge of the program 
will do a better job of hustling tickets 
and getting an audience together if they 
have to pay us first. If I'm going to do a 
benefit, I want the people I'm doing it 
for to work hard, if not harder, than if it 
was a commercial thing, because I'm not 
working for me, I'm working for them 
and, hell, I can stay home and make 
nothing. The only time we don't ask for 
money ahead of time is when we're 
doing concerts for guys in the Service. 
PLAYBOY: During a television appearance 
not long ago, jou remarked that you 
were going to stop performing in places 
like the Cocoanut Grove and do show: 
only in black neighborhoods, if your 
people "need it" Would such a move 
have any practical value? 

CHARLES: Actually, when I made that 
statement, I was answering those people 
who think that putting Duke Ellington, 
Ella Fitzgerald or Ray Charles on TV or 
in some big night clubs is enough to 
ke the average black man in the strect 
without a job jump for joy and say, "AIL 
is well in America for me.” Before I'd 
help put over thar kind of sham, I'd justas 
soon go back to playing roadhouses and 
barbecue joints. Window dressing ain't 
enough; Ametica’s got to clean house. 
PLAYBOY: Where do you think the clcan- 
ing ought to start? 

CHARLES: First of all, I must say that, with 
all its faults, this is the best country 
in the world—bar none—in my book. 
But I just wonder why this Gover 
doesn't give food instead of tan! 
planes to little countries with starving 
people in them; hungry babies can't eat 
machine guns. I wonder why a country 
as powerful and rich as this one has 
people starving to death right here, for 
that matter. ‘These are some of the first 
problems to work on. But, you know, 
when the Government finally does get to 
working out problems, it sometimes over- 
does it a little, too. 
PLAYBOY: Do you mean 
welfare subsidy? 
CHARLES: Let me put it this way: 


ma 


such areas as 


A lot of 


GETA LEG UP WITH LEE 


PLAYBOY 


72 


times, when the United States goes to 
help little countries, it says, “Were 
going to build you all the roads you 
need; whatever you need, we're going 
to put it there for you." But then it 
adds, "The only thing you have to do 
now is stick with us and do what we 
want." "That's the kind of welfare I sec 
going on here, too. My definition of 
fare is: “Jolin, you say you need some 
money. Well, I'm going to give you that 
money—5400, $5300. $1000—whatever 
you need. Only I'm giving it to you for a 
month or a year, or however long you 
say you need it. Just like I have 
responsibility to see that you get a break, 
you have a responsibility to me as a 
citizen to pay it back on time. You 
to honor your responsibility, bes 
lct you use your fellow citizens’ money, 
the people who are slaving every day 
nd paying taxes.” Now, John wants to 
know how the hell he’s going to pay me 
back, when he wouldn't have borrowed. 
the money in the first place, if he had 
any to pay me back with. “Well, John, 
le you've got the taxpayers’ money, 
I'm going to put you through this train. 
ing school I've got. And since I'm the 
U.S. Government, I've got courses in 
whatever you w. 
or medicine. While youre there, John, 
I'm going to pay you some money, so 
that your family doesn’t starve while 
you're leaming. After you've learned 
your trade and once I place you in a job, 
that front money I loaned you must be 
paid back to the Government—a litle 
ata tii kel is returned 
to my John has 
his dignity and the Government gets a 
retum on its investment. 

Now, I can hear people sayi 
Ray, you talk like that "cause you've got 
it made.” Bullshit, Twice in my life, I 
almost died of malnutrition. I've 
sardines and crackers 
Some days I d 
water and shut the hell up 
When I was able to get a job and get my 
hands on two or three bucks, 1 cherished 
it and 1 watched how I spent it. I'm not 
saying I wouldn't have a fin from 
some candy man who just walked up and 
handed it to me, but when I had to go 
through hell to get that five, believe me, 
I was careful how I spread it around. I 
don’t think the black man—or any per- 
son who's in need, for that matter—real- 
ly wants handouts. I believe that the 
majority of people, first of all, have their 
pride. Second, I think they want to be 
able to get a rea 


job with some mean- 
ing, raise their families and keep the 
Government's nose out of the picture. 

PLAYBOY: It’s been said that the Govern- 
ment keeps its nose too far out of the 
, on occasion, by too infrequently 


picture 
involving this nation's jazz and blues 
artists in its State Department-sponsored 
cultural tours, A few of the musicians 


who have been on these junkets have 
complained about their loose manage 
ment by State Department personnel. All 
this, critics claim, adds up to a lack of 
Government support and respect for the 
black musician, How do you fccl about 
ie 
CHARLES: I'm not sure that this Govern- 
ment has enough respect for anybody— 
black or white, musician or not—especial- 
ly when it comes to drafting people and 
collecting taxes. As a rule, though, the 
kind of people who work for the State 
Department. probably feel that the blues 
is beneath them. They wouldn't be 
caught dead listening to Little Milton 
or Howlin’ Wolf. They don't even know 
these cats exist, so they couldn't be ex- 
pected to ask them to go on tours. To 
the people in Washington, all this music 
—maybe with the exception of tradition- 
jezz players like Louis Armstrong—is 
somehow in bad taste. But you know, 
two thirds of the world is playing it and 
dancing to it, so I guess there's a hell of 
a lot of people with bad judgment, 
wouldn't you say? Those officials kind of 
remind me of the guy I heard on tcley 
sion asking what “those black people’ 
sure raising all that hell about. He was 
one of those whites who thought we 
ys seemed "satisfied" “cause we're al- 
"laughing and singing and danc- 
ing." Some of these State Department 
cats seem to feel the same way about 
it—and people wonder why the world's 
such rough shape. 
PLAYBOY: Have you ever been asked to go 
on onc of the department's tours? 
CHARLES: No, but I'd like to go to Russia, 
This has nothing to do with the State 
Department; I'd just like to go there, 
anyway. I've been interviewed by Rus- 
sian reporters and they said they'd uy to 
work out an arrangement for me to give 
a few concerts, whenever I'm ready to 
go. They say I've got lots of fans over 
there. I also get many letters [rom cou: 
tries like Czechoslovaki 
So far, though, I haven't hi 
from the State Department. I don't think 
they know about me any more than they 
know about Little Milton. But if they did 
ask me to go somewhere—which they 
won't after they read this—I think my 
first choice, if 1 got a choice, would be 
Vietnam. 
PLAYBOY: How do you feel about U.S. 
intervention in that conflict? 
CHARLES: I’m not much different from 
most sane folks. I wish we'd just get the 
hell out of there, Since Em not in dan- 
ger of being sent there with a gun, 
maybe Pm not the one to talk. But I'm 
not a violent man; 1 don't dig war and I 
don't like to see people knocking each 
other off. Every man has a right to life. 
People say that America has certain com- 
mitments to tnam, and she does. But 
if I tell you I'm going to help you, then 
1 figure you're going to put forth most of 
the effort and I'm going to play a sup- 


g role—not carry both of us. Don't 
k me to draft my 18-ycar-olds when lots 
of your 19-year-olds aren't in uniform. 
Another thing I disagree with is this bit 
about "Today is Christmas, so I'm not 
going to kill your son today—I1l kill 
him tomorrow, after the holiday is over. 
If you have to fight a war, fight it to win. 
Otherwise, get out. There's never even 
been a declaration of war in this thing 
So if it's not even officially supposed to 
be a war, what're all these kids dying 
for? "There's something awfully rotten 
with that whole halfass thing over there. 
PLAYBOY: A numbcr of entertainers refuse 
to participate in U. S. O. tours of Viet 
nam, because they feel that supporting 
the morale of U. S. troops would signify 
approval of the war. Apparently, you 
don't feel that strongly about it 

CHARLES: If a soldier goes into one of 
those towns over there and spends a few 
bucks buying himself a woman, he's get 
ing entertained right there. Now, ten to 
one, he feels less like going out and 
ling people after a liule sport. I's 
when pcople feel like nobody gives a 
damn what happens to them that they 
can work up hatred and cruchy quick. 
‘Those soldiers deserve a few moments of 
pleasure, ‘cause they're catching hell for 
the rest of us, whether they like it or 
not. I want to give them anything I can. 
PLAYBOY: A decade ago, young people 
were far less demonstrative about their 
concern for the state of the world than 
toda ivist generation is. Have you 
modified your material or your style in 
any way to reflect the current social and 
political mood? 

CHARLES: I'd have to agree that the ma- 
jority of people who come to my concerts 
nowadays are probably more aware of 
world affairs than they were a few years 
ago, but I doubt seriously if they want to 
hear me make speeches about the Demo 
crats or the Republicans, When I go to 
buy a pair of shoes, I give les than a 
damn whether the salesman voted for 
Humphrey or Nixon; all I want is a pai 
of kicks that don't hurt my feet. ‘The 
same is probably true of my audiences; 
they've spent their hard-earned money to 
get a few minutes’ entertainment out of 
ife and that’s that. 

PLAYBOY: But an incr ng number of 
performers are infusing their material 
with political issues. Such diverse show 
people as Joan Baez, Mort Sahl, Dick 
Gregory, Bully Sainte-Marie and Archie 
Shepp are cases in point. Shepp. a black 
tenor saxophonist, even reads his poetry 
and various other declarations of mii 
tancy during his performances. 
CHARLES: I haven't seen the gentleman 
you're talking about, so it’s difficult for 
me to comment on his approach. But if 
his talking doesn’t bug his public, then 
ne with me. Personally, I think 
everyone can sec that I'm black, so I 
guess I don't have to tell anybody about 
it, Furthermore, I'd like to think that 


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ng a song, I can let you know 
the heartbreak, struggle, lies 
and kicks in the ass I've gotten over the 
years for being black and everything else, 
without actually saying a word about i 
PLAYBOY: Nancy Wilson has recorded a 
tune called Black Is Beautiful. Aretha 
Franklin’s version of Otis Redding’s Re- 
spect and James Brown's I'm Black and 
Im Proud have become anthems of 
America’s central cities. Do you think it 
would be overstating your case to cut 
such a number yourself? 

CHARLES: That question reminds me of 
the sign I saw in a gas station once: 
PLEASE ENGAGE DRAIN BEFORE SHIFTING 
Mourn. Now, I'm not knocking any of 
the singers you just mentioned, but long 
before any of them cut those songs, I had 
a record called. You're In for a Big 
Surprise. The lyrics went: “I call you 
‘Mister’ | I shine your shoes / You go 
y laughing / While I sing the blues. 
/ You think I'm funny / And you're so 
wise / But, aaah, baby, / You're in 
for a big surprise. 
But despite such atypical songs, 
some critics have charged that your sing- 
ing approach is a formula that you could 
alter only at the risk of losing your 


all about 


Do you think there is any 
element of your style that's essential to 
inued popularity? 


: me. | must alway 


thing in the world for me to do. 
PLAYBOY: Many other singers seem to find 
it expedient, if not casy, to “be you." Are 
you flattered by the attempts to dup 
Gute your vocal style, or do you feel your 
on your market? 
CHARLES: They aren't cutting in on my 
market at all. I don't care how well they 
imitate me; they can't imitate my insides, 
They can't do what T would do with a 
song till after I've done it—so they al- 
ways have to follow. There's not one 
imitation that ever became as popular as 
the original. I guess Lm flattered, be- 
cause those people out there are trying 
to make a living and if they think the 
best way to do it is to sound like me— 
e 

PLAYBOY: Who were the 
Jour sound? 

CHARLES: ] guess the first would be Nat 
Cole. When I was still a kid, 18 or 19, I 
cut a few 78s with my trio that would 
show you today that I tried to sing like 
him as much as possible. Then, too, I 
tried to sound like Charles Brown, who 
might not be so popular today, but when 
he led the Three Blazers in the Forties, 
he was one of the hottest names going. 
Art Tatum wasn't a singer, and my 
piano doesn't sound much 1 
he was also one of my biggest influences. 
He my opinion, the greatest 
pianist—and one of the greatest human 
beings—who ever lived. Those people 
who talk about making the black man 


influences on 


was, in 


aware of his history should start a televi- 
n series on those really great old musi 
cians who are just about forgotten now, 
like Tatum, Kid Ory, King Oliver. I 
don't care whose favorites you pick, they 
were all pionce 
Some of the other people who've con: 
tributed to my sound weren't necessarily 
in the business, because, after I found 
my own thing, I wasn't trying to copy 
y anymore; they're just people I 
My mother heads that list. In 
s my greatest influence overall. 
She wasn't a very welleducated woman, 
but she was one of the most brilliant 
people—in a street sense—that I've ever 
known, She had a parable for everything 
and she related them all on my level. As 
an adult, I've come to see the wisdom of 
all the things she tokl me. When I went 
blind, she helped me not to have self 
pity or dependency on others. Whatever. 
I did before 1 lost my eyes as far as 
possible, she'd make me do afterward — 
whether I bumped my head or stumped 
my shins doing it. Everybody I've ad- 
mired has been the d of person who 
could make something out of the things 
most folks take for granted: George 
Washington Carver and the peanut, 
Martin Luther King and the laws of this 
country; and Thomas Edison. ] re 
where one of Edison’s aides went up to 
him one time and said, "Sir, we've made 
740 mistakes on this project" And he 
said to the aide, “Son, we haven't made 
any mistakes; we've just found 740 
things that won't work.” Edison probably 
nvented the light bulb on his 741st uy. 
PLAYBOY: When did the idea of making. 
your living in music fist occur to you? 
CHARLES: I've loved music since I was 
three or four years old. A great old man 
named Wylie Pittman used to live next 
door to us in Florida. He was always 
playing that fine boogiewoogic on an old 
piano on his [ront porch. Even if I was 
in the yard, shooting marbles or some- 
thing with my playmates, I'd go over to 
Mr. Pittman's house whenever I heard 
him working out on that upright; I 
loved it. l'd hop up on the piano seat 
beside him and he'd let me bang on the 
treble keys. I thought I was d. 
acdy what he was doing, but a 
1 wasn't doing anything but n 
ry. He had quite a bit of faith in me, 
though. because he'd always say, "Thars 
good, Ray. Just keep on practicing" I 
guess he figured if a little kid like me 
was interested enough in music to leave 
his friends and join an old man like 
him, I must have music in my bones. 
Once when I was six years old, he 
took me down to a little café and had. 
his friends listen to me play. That was 
my first concert, I guess. Of course, I 
always did try ro sing—I was x 
the Baptist Church, you know—so no- 
body had to encourage me to use my 
voice. When ] was seven, I went to the 


sed in 


DEWAHS PROFILES 


(Pronounced Do-ers “White Label”) 


RON BUCK 


HOME: Malibu, California 

AGE: 39 

PROFESSION: Lawyer, writer, entrepreneur. 
HOBBIES: Painting, 
LAST BOOK READ: A Lost King. 

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Brought The 
Factory into being, Hollywood's discothèque for 
the important people who like to swing. 

QUOTE: “Frankly, I hate the snobbery and the 
pretense; it's how to lose friends and not influence 
people. But if you're going to be in the game you 
might as well play as best you can." 

PROFILE: Confident, successful, but still 
struggling for an important way to express his 
feelings about a frail world and its people. 
SCOTCH: Dewar's “White Label” 


BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY - 86.8 PROOF - © SCHENLEY IMPORTS CD., KY. AY. 


writing sereen plays. 


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75 


PLAYBOY 


76 


blind school and, eventually, I got into 
the music classes. I stayed there until T 
was 15, and by that time, I was playing 
piano, organ, alto saxophone and a few 
other things and I was writing braille 
arrangements for big bands—maybe 16- 
or 17-piece groups. While I was at the 
school, I formed a little group and we 
started out playing for ladies’ tea parties 
and church socials on Sundays. That 
would bring in two or three bucks, 
which was pretty good wages for a young 
kid with no expenses. When I left the 
school, I decided that I'd just keep on 
making music, instead of mops and 
brooms, which was what they taught us 
to do at school. I've never regretted it. 
PLAYBOY: Considering the fundamentalist 
church style of your singing. do you 
think you might have entered the minis- 
try if you hadn't become a musician? 
CHARLES: No. Although I've always loved 
and respected the Church, I think—even 
though I can't imagine such a thing at 
this point—that if I hadn't been a mu: 
cian, I'd have been a lawyer. Aside from 
the fact that I've always been fascinated 
with the law, it's a field I could have 
learned without my sight. One of my 
friends from the blind school is an attor- 
ney now in Daytona Beach. I think I 
would have been a trial lawyer; I can't 
stand my speaking voice, but I like to 
talk, Music is my work, though, and 1 
love it too much to see how I could really 
have done anything else. 

PLAYBOY: Do you get as much satisfaction 
playing for yourself as for your audi- 
ences? 

CHARLES: No, I'm afraid not. When I'm 
playing for audiences, there's the satisfac- 
tion of making people happy as well as 
making music. When you've got the au- 
dience swinging with you, somehow they 
pull something out of you that you 
didn't know you had. It's kind of like 
the mother who lifted the car off her son 
when it turned over on top of him; any 
other time, she'd have had trouble just 
rolling up the window. 

PLAYBOY: How much time do you spend 
performing on the road? 

CHARLES: We're traveling about nine 
months out of the year—from April 
through December. The rest of the time, 
we're here in L. A., recording, recuperat- 
ing and getting the show ready for the 
road again. Seven of those road months 
count as solid working time and three 
quarters of that is spent doing one-night 
concerts. 

PLAYBOY: "That's a rough grind. 

CHARLES: In the early Fifties, it was rough. 
We used to get in a car and drive, sa 
400 miles. That would take dose to ten 
hours. When we'd get into the town where 
we were working, we'd be lucky if we had 
time to grab a bath and a sandwich be- 
fore we went onstage. Now that we're 
in a position to ask for certain things, we 
try to schedule dates no more than 300 or 


400 miles apart and. with the plane, we 
can do that stretch in less than an hour. 
It's still hard work, sometimes, but, thank 
God, we're doing what we like to do. On 
the other hand, some people sce you on- 
stage for only a couple of hours a day 
and think youre really living the life. 
Well, I'd like to tell them that we've got 
the kind of gig that takes as much out of 
i as some other jobs 
don't in half a day. Keeps me in shape, 
though: I've weighed 165 pounds since 
I was 18. 
PLAYBOY: On the road, you're surrounded 
by one of the largest entourages of any 
entertainer in show business, Are all 
these people indispensable? 
CHARLES: Ain't nobody indispensable— 
even me. The public can get tired of me 
any time. Everybody traveling with me 
—the band, the Racletts, my manager, 
my valet, my pilot, everybody—has a job 
and we expect each one to do what he's 
supposed to, just like the public expects 
Ray Charles to do. 
PLAYBOY: You have the reputation among 
some as a dem: temperament 
man to work for and a stickler for detail. 
Ts there any truth to that? 
CHARLES: I don't ask any musician or an 
body else around here to do anything 
I'm not ready to do. For example, when 
the band has to have a long rehearsal to 
get a number down pat, I don't send my 
band director to handle the job while I 
sleep; I'm right there with them. You're 
correct, though, that I've been accused of 
all that you say. On the other hand, I've 
scen some mighty happy faces backstage 
when the fans come up and tell them 
how good they sounded or how fine they 
looked. So Il take that kind of criticism 
as long as I get that kind of results. 
PLAYBOY: It widely reported that a 
alary dispute caused your previous 
group of Raeletts to quit abruptly on 
the final night of your 1968 Cocoanut 
Grove stint. According to one magazine's 
account, a figure of $300 per week was 
the bone of contention, and your refusal 
to pay this sum caused their dissatisfied 
departure, along with that of your star 
strumentalist and several other band 
members. 
CHARLES: Well, I don't need to make a 
enemies for myself by commenting on 
that question, I'll just say that they quit 
—I didn't fire them. Whatever reasons 
they gave for leaving are th 
it I had fired them, ld. be more than 
happy to tell you why. I'll say this, too: 
‘That was the third set of Raelets I've 
had over the years—because women 
come and go in an or ion like this 
for various female reasous—and that was 
the best set I ever had; they were excel- 
lent. But I have no intention of leuing 
ans or the girls or anyone else run 
outfit. When the day comes that 
they do that, then I quit. 
PLAYBOY: Obviously, you are the captain 


of your ship. But with so many compo 
nents—your two planes, your touring 
company of 45, your home offices and 
staff, your recording studios and all the 
rest to keep tabs on—how do you find 
time to create musically? 
CHARLES: As far as managing the finan- 
cial end of it goes, I look at it like this: 
ll a matter of zeros—whether you're 
ng about ten bucks or 100.000. You 
in't going to last long if your outlay is 
er than your intake. Since I'm in 
e an honest dollar—be- 
cause I'm too chicken to stcal—1 figure L 
might as well make two or three extra 
while I'm it. To do this, of course, 
Ive got certain people to do certain 
things, but I've ost too much sweat and 
blood to be careless. It’s not a matter of 
mistrusting anybody: it's just good busi 
ness. Now, I don't go around checking to 
see who bought the toilet paper last 
week, but, between consulting my ac- 
countant and my business manager, I 
have a pretty good idea where I stand. 
That leaves me enough time for the 
musical end of things. 
PLAYBOY: What's your annual income? 
CHARLES: I doubt if I'd qualify for the 
poverty program; I guess it's enough to 
make a decent living. It’s been alleged 
that I make a hell of a lot of moncy, but 
what I've heard it said I make is a damn 
sight more than I get to keep. While 
Unde Sam is strongarming me out of it, 
he keeps singing in my ear: "It's not the 
gross but the net, dar nfortunatc- 
ly, I make too much money to be called 
poor and too little to feel rich. 
PIAYBOY: With the little bit the Govern- 
ment leaves you, and with your busy 
schedule, how do you spend your leisure 
time? 
CHARLES: I’m a great lover of chess, and 
it docsn't cost me a nickel. Other than 
that, I go to baseball and football games. 
PLAYBOY: It’s hard to conceive of Ray 
Charles as a spectator, but your pilot 
even says that you can fly both the 
Viscount and your smaller plane. How? 
CHARLES: Well, just as a matter of surviv- 
al or self-defense. I don’t want the FAA 
thinking I go around buzzing rooftops, 
‘cause, of course, I don’t have a license 
to fly. But if my pilot should suddenly 
have a stroke or something—God forbid 
—1 could probably bring the plane 
down without killing anybody. It's a 
matter of three things: staying level, 
knowing my altitude and keeping the 
right air speed. First of all, I'd find the 
gauge called the artificial horizon. This 
is made like an airplane, with wings on 
The wings are supposed to be even 
with a hairline on the gauge when the 
plane is level. Now, I'd take some kind 
of hard metal, probably my lighter, and 
break the glass on the gauge and feel the 
wings with my finger tips, to make sure 
they're in the horizontal position. Next, 


Make it : Saturday è 4 3 


chance you getas Ere 


PLAYBOY 


78 


I'd break the glass on the altimeter. This 
gauge has hands on it just like the face 
of 2 dock, so I can feel how high up 
I am by checking the position of the 
hands. The same goes for my air-specd 
ndicator; I don’t want to go too slow, 
because I'll stall, and not too fast, be- 
cause I'll overshoot the runway when I 
try to land. After I did all this as quick 
as I could, I'd call the tower and tell 
them what happened and what I was 
going to do. Then I'd climb up to 12,000 
or 13,000 feet and practice landing by 
slowing the plane down and di 
and so forth, all thc time feel 
gauges, to sce what was 
ing. Once I felt I had practiced enough, 
Td attempt to actually land. I might tear 
off a wing or something, but I think I'd 
come out alive. Thats what they call 
flying blind, you know. 

PLAYBOY: It's reported that you once even 
repaired your plane after mechanics had 
worked on it in vain for some ti Is 
your ability to handle mechanical equip- 
ment the result of memory development 
or hypersensitive touch? 

CHARLES: I've always wanted to know how 
things tick nc—I studied 
the principles that make it fly. The case 
of the repair job on the plane was a sim- 
ppened when they 
n intake pipe on one 


ing to put 


side of the engine. As soon as the guy 
would get i 


tightened up in one place, 

in another. He was 
struggling like hell, and I finally asked 
what tlie problem was. It turned out that. 
the pipe bolted down from a 
underneath and he could: 
as well as I could feel it. So I just reached 
up under the pipe, found the holes, 
screwed the bolts in and we were ready 
to take off. 

Sometimes, I fool around with my ra- 
dio or television set, if either onc goes 
bad. I guess I'll probably shock myself to 
death one day. That's why I don't recom- 
mend that other blind pcople mess with. 
electricity or motors and things. With 
any handicapped person, it's a matter of 
self-confidence. 1 don't have a dog or a 
cane, but | get where I have to go. 
Matter of fact. PLAYBOY motor 
scooter as a Chrisumas present in 1960, 
and I used to take it out to the Coliseum. 
and ride it. 

PLAYBOY: You drove it at speeds of up to 
60 miles an hour, we recall, by following 
the sound of another scooter in front of 
you. But how about your chess playing 
ability? Do you remember the positions 
of all the chessmen as you maneuver 
through the game? 

CHARLES: I can feel where the pieces are, 
just like you can see them. so I really 
don't have to remember that much. Inci- 
dentally, I don't think because you lose 
your eyesight, your other senses automat- 
ically become better. A blind person's 
faculties get better only if he develops 


ve me 


them. A person with sight could develop 
the same memory or hearing or sense of 
touch that blind people gencrally have; 
but unless a person loses his eyes, he just 
never feels the need to go to the extra 
trouble. Since Ive lost mine—and I 
don't want to depend on people for 
every little thing—I've made the effort. 
Now, all my other senses are probably 
above normal, except my sense of taste. 
But I don't need that one any more or 
less than anybody else. 

PLAYBOY: Without eyes, but with height- 
ened sensitivity in other arcas, do you 
think you're as aware of the world as the 
man who is able to sce? 

CHARLES: Because J can't check things 
visually, I think my observations are 
n other ways. With people, for 
instance, I say to hell with their physical 
selves and I concentrate on their 
looks. While folks are being so cz 
about surface things, I'm checking the 
things they don’t realize T can see: the 
way people approach me, what they 
about, whether they're putting on airs by 
doing things like using perfect English. 
All these things tell me what their char- 
acters and personalities are like. For this 
reason, 1 think I can spot rcal people 
and phonies quicker than most folks. 
Let's say a ! eyes gets together 
with a fine, sexy woman. Well, she's got 
half her battle won sight there; he's so 
wiped out by the sight of her talents that 
he's in danger of giving up a week's pay 
check before they even get into bed. 
Now, with me, she’s got to show how 


good her -plus have a good. 
story—before I even twitch. If you work 
hard enough, you can turn almost any- 


thing to your advantage 
PLAYBOY: It sounds as if blindr 
ly a handicap to you fh 
CHARLES: [ can't say as I miss a hell of a 
lot, I don't care that much about driving 
a car. I've got a Cadillac and a Volks- 
wagen, and to me, riding in one is about 
the same as riding in the other. I follow 
whats going on on television by the 
sound track, just like I do in real life. 
The same goes for the movies—all ex- 
cept those silents with people like Ru- 
dolph Valentino in them. I get just as 
much from being around my kids, hear- 
ing them and touching them and looking 
imo their insides, as most other parents, 
who can see. And I know my wife is a 
beautiful woman, 

PLAYBOY: You've been blind for 32 of 
your 89 years. How much of the world 
do you remember? 

CHARLES: I remember colors—red, green, 
blue, the basic colors. Nothing weird like 
chartreuse. I remember the moon, stars, 
sunsets. ] remember what my mother 
looked like. And I know what most of 
the things I sing about look like. 


ss is hai 


PLAYBOY: According to most reports, after 


suffering severe injury in an auto acci- 
dent, Bessie Smith was refused. admission. 


to onc Mississippi hospital and bled to 
death on the way to another, Do you 
think your blindness, which was a pro- 
gressive deterioration, could have been 
prevented if unsegregated medical care 
had been available to you in 19372 

It's le, if we'd had the 
money. The doctors who've looked at me 
nce seem to think there was a possibil- 
y. too. On the other hand, 1 wouldn't 
nt to blame the whole thing on being 
a Negro in the South; I could have been 
a white boy and still lost my sight, if I 
didn’t have the money. Then, too, mon- 
ey's no guarantee of anything, if fate 
wants to deal you a blow. The Kennedys 
are the best proof of that. 

PLAYBOY: Fate dealt you one blow even 
before you lost your sight, didn't it? 
CHARLES: Which one do you mean? 
PLAYBOY- When you lost your brother. 
CHARLES: "That happened when I was five 
years old. My brother was about three 
and a half, and we were playing in our 
back yard. There was one of those big 
number-four washtubs filled with water 
and my brother kept leaning over into 
it. All of a sudden, he tumbled into it 
headfirst. The first thing I thought about 
was trying to pull him out, but he was 
most as big as I was and, with his clothes 
all soaked and everything, he was too 
heavy. When I saw 1 couldn't pull him 
an and got my mother, who was 
ironing in the front yard. She ran back 
and snatched him out and gave him 
respiration, but it was too late. 
You said your mother was a 
major inspiration in your life. Were you 
close during those early years? 

CHARLES: Emotionally, yes. But a lot of 
the time, she had to be off at work. She 
did some of everything: she even worked 


at the town sawmill. Her job was stacking. 


up piles of boards and feeding them into 


sawing machine. She also took 
washing and worked as a cook for a white 
family in town. "That reminds mc: there's 
one thing about white people in the 
South: If they hate black people, they 
really hate us; but if they like us, vice 
versa. When my mother died, there were 
as many white people as black people at 
her funeral. 

PLAYBOY: Was your father equally well 
ed? 

CHARLES: Yeah. He was just a man who 
cut crosities and drove spikes for the 
railroad and liked to fool around with 
motors and t his spare time; but 
in that town his word meant something, 
at a time when a man's word was his 
bond. Nowadays, a m i 
bank account. If a got 
arrested on some charge like being drunk, 
my father could go down to the jail and 
tell the man that he guaranteed every- 
thing was going to be all right and the 
fellow would let my father's friend out of 
the cell. My father used to go fishing with 
the president of the bank. Green 


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PLAYBOY 


80 


Florida, was that kind of town; there 
weren't more than 300 people there and 
they all knew each other. 

A Negro could get along in most 
places in the South in thos: days, as long 
as he acted like a man. Now, this doesn't 
mean being an Uncle Tom, either. My 
father was respected in that town by 
whites and blacks because he respected 
everybody else and he always did what 
he said he was going to do. On the 
other hand, if he wasn't going to do 
something, killing him wouldn't have 
changed his mind. This the white man 
had to accept. Matter of fact, the white 
man accepted almost anything out of a 
black man but making love with his 
women. I even know of a couple of 
instances in Florida where black men got 
away with killing white ones Now, I 
don't say that walking around free after 
knocking off a white man was par for the 
course, but there one case that in- 
volved this man who was one of those 
fellows white people called "good ni 
ras" the kind of guy who loved his 
people and, when he went into town, 
bought what he needed and got the hell 
out of there. Anyway, one evening, he 
was sitting on his front porch with his 
family, swinging in his swing chair, and 
along comes this white guy, cussing his 
head off. He stops in front of the black 
man’s house, still cussing. The black man 
asked him to please stop cussing because 
of his family. The white guy said, "Look. 
this is a white man you're talking to, 
nigger. You know better than to tell me 
what to do.” The black man said, “Look, 
sir, I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't 
nd in front of my house, then. This is 
my wile and kids here.” Then the white 
guy decided he'd not only stand in front 
of the house and cuss, he figured he'd 
go into the yard and do it. The black 
guy said, "I wouldn't do that if T were 
you, sir" "Boy," the white man said, 
"I'm going to kick your ass for telli 
me what to do." So as thc wi 
walked through the gate, the black man 
reached inside his door and got his 16- 
gauge shotgun. The white man got one 
foot on the steps as the gun went off and 
blew a hole through his stomach 

Now, black folks’ houses in those days 
were built with long hallways straight 
through from front to back, with a cou- 
ple of rooms off to cach side—and the 
white guy staggered backward, then ran 
straight through the house, just like the 
shotgun blast, and fell dead in the back 
yard. The black man had one of his 
friends go get the sherif. The sheril 
knew the black guy well and, when he 
heard how the shooting happened, he just 
told the black guy to leave town until 
things cooled off. His family stayed on 
there while he was gone and nothing hap- 
pened to them. Pretty soon, he was back 

nd everything was forgotten. This was 
a Southern town and there were some 


pretty mean white folks there, but they 
were fair if you were known to mind 
your own business Pick another town 
and have that. same incident happen and, 
Christ, maybe theyd knock off two or 
three black families for that. 

As I say, though, the one thing a black 
man couldn't do anywhere in the South 
was get caught with a white woman. A 
lot of young black men were jailed for 
years, even castrated, sometimes lynched, 
if it was just rumored that they had even 
looked at one. I guess it was such a big 
obsession with the white man because he 
knew what he'd done to black women 
during slavery. So every time a black 
man looked at a white woman—or every 
time a white man thought one of us did 
—he probably to himself: “They're 
going to get even with me for taking 
their sisters and their mothers.” They're 
way off base, though. 

PLAYBOY: In what way? 

CHARLES: There might be one Negro in 
a thousand that wants a white woman 
just because she’s white. But, even then, 
don't forget: If people kept you away 
from Chinese girls for 300 years, you'd 
be curious to see what yellow women are 
like. And, I might add, white women are 
pretty curious about black men, too. 
PLAYBOY: As a young blade, you cut quite 
a swath among your female fans. In fact, 
this resulted in your receiving a number 
of paternity suits, didn’t it? 

CHARLES: Yeah, I'm afraid so. But although 
nothing's ever certain, 1 think all those 
problems are solved now. 

PLAYBOY: At the same time you were being 
called to account for your frolicking, you 
were a heavy user of narcotics. Yet addicts 
lead notoriously asexual lives. How did 
you manage to do both? 

CHARLES: Nothing, narcotics included, has 
ever hampered my love of women or 
caused me not to demonstrate my fullest 
appreciation for the feminine set. Age is 
going to do that sooner or later, they tell 
me. But the first ne I thought that 
junk was decreasing my sexual powers, 


Td have kicked it cold. 
PLAYBOY: What made you begin using 
drugs? 


CHARLES: I'd rather not talk about it. 
PLAYBOY: Many people are aware that you 
were a heroin addict for a number of 
years. Don't you d that some of your 
younger fans, who might be inclined to 
go the same route, could be influenced 
against it by what you could tell them 
about the unglamorous reality of heavy 
drug taking? 

CHARLES: Bullshit. Everybody's aware that 
cigarettes probably cause cancer, bur 
how many people do you think would 
give them up just because they read that 
Ray Charles has stopped smoking? The 
narcotics thing is a road to nowhere, I'll 
say that. It’s something I don't recom- 
mend to anybody, because it doesn't help 
anybody to become a better. person, any 


more than cigarettes do. But people 
don't listen to that kind of advice about 
cigarettes or drugs. FIL put it this way: If 
you see me smoking a Chesterfield, it's 
because I'm enjoying it. If you sce me 
two years from now, alter I've quit, and 
you ask me if I had any regrets about 
that Chesterfield, I'm going to tell you, 
“Hell, no, I enjoyed it while I smoked it 
and that’s that. 
PLAYBOY: Can we assume, then, as far as 
the use of addictive drugs is concerned, 
that you think they're OK —as long as the 
users know what they're doing to them 
selves? 

CHARLES: Assume anything you want, I've 
thoroughly enjoyed this interview so 
bur I'm fed up with talking about that 
aspect of my life. Jesus Christ couldn't 
get me to say another word on the sub- 
ject to anybody. 

PLAYBOY: Could we persuade you to talk 
a little more on the subject of racism? 
CHARLES: "That's a different. story. 
PLAYBOY: All right. How old were yoi 
when you first became aware of race 
prejudice? 

CHARLES: The impact wasn't strong until 
I was about ten years old. Before that, all 
us kids—black and white—used to play 
together, and it never occurred to me 
that anybody was different from anybody 
else. Sometime after I the blind 
school, I started asking myself why they 
had a white side and a colored side to the 
campus. Of course, that’s not the case any- 
more; but back then, all the facilities on 
the white side were better than the ones 
on the colored side. There was only one 
hospital at the school and, of course, it 
was on the white side. If we had to be 
separated like that, I wondered why 
the damn hospital wasn’t in the middle. 
‘The whole thing about having different 


sides seemed stupid to me, because, hell, 
we were all blind 

PLAYBOY: Of course, you are both black 
and blind. Which one have you found to 
be the bigger obstacle? 


I learned how to 
handle my blindness pretty carly in life. 
thanks to my mother and a little hard 
work. I'm a lot better equipped to handle 
things than a lot of blind people | 
know: I do what I want and I go wh 

I want But because I'm a black man, 
whatever affects my people affects me. 
This means that the greatest handicap 
Ive had—and still have—is my color. 
Until every man in America can get any 
job that he's qualified for or any house 
he's got the money to buy, regardless of 
his color, I'll always be hand 
PLAYBOY: The votcr-registrati 
ers of the early Sixties felt that 
ballots was the best method of attain: 
the kind of black power you're talking 
about. But a smaller percen 
registered black voters utilized their fran 
chise in the last national election than 
in 1964. Do you think this i 


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PLAYBOY 


82 


blacks are beginning to regard the elec- 
toral process as a futile exercise? 
CHARLES: I don't know why many of us 
didn’t vote in the last election, but it 
was a bad thing. When I consider that 
men like Martin Luther King and a lot 
of other black and white people—the 
nedys included—got themselves beat- 
into the ground, stomped. spit on and 
led so that black people could have 
the ballot, I hate to think that they went 
through all of that hell for nothing. I 
believe more in the power of the vote 
than in getting a gun and trying to kill 
off the whole white race. I thi that's 
absolutely stupid. There aren't enough 
of us, to begin with. If the white man 
wanted to, all he'd have to say is that 
every dollar in the United States is void. 
Then he could issue new currency—to 
whites only—and we'd be up shit’s creck. 
One of the only sensible weapons the 
black man's got is the ballot. If neither. 
Humphrey nor Nixon looks good to me, 
T'll still have to go with the lesser of two 
evils. I hear a lot of black people saying 
they're sorry that. Nixon's in now. I ask 
they voted for Humphrey or any- 
body else. “No,” they say. "Well, then,” I 
tell them, “you don't have the right to 
be sorry now.” 

PLAYBOY: During the Johnson Adminis- 
tration, Congress passed a record number 
of measures supporting civil rights, and. 
the Warren Court drew cries from the 
right for the impeachment of its Chief 
Justice because of the liberality with 
which he led that body, Nevertheless, all 
this did little, if anything, to reduce the 
level of animosity blacks and 
whites. Furthermore, to the delight of 
white segregationists, a growing number 
of blacks have now rejected integration as 
a goal. How do you feel about a geo- 
graphically and racially divided U.S.A? 
CHARIES: I am 100 percent for the coun- 
try being united. Right now, Vietnam is 
divided and at war. It's practically the 
same in Korea. Then there's Nationalist 
China and mainland China, Nigeria and 
Biafra, black America and white Ameri- 
ca. Too many people have been burned, 
lynched and nailed to the cross fighting. 
for cqual rights to separate this country 
now. We've got all the laws on the books 
that the books can hold, but we find 
that’s still not enough, because you can't 
legislate a person's loves or his hates. 
What we've got to do now is start learn- 
ing how to communicate with each 
other, Without that, we'll never achieve 
anything. I'm not for going around hat 
g people; I just don't go for that, and 
r living apart from all other 
races in this county. A black man can 
have his own thing, just like the Itali 
the Irish and the Jews have here, with- 
out detaching himself from America. Aft- 
er all, no matter how small it's been 
made to Jook, the black man’s stake is 
awfully big in this country. 


Kt 


among 


Besides, until we get our own 
A.T R&T. or General Motors, I don't 
think the majority of black people will 
be interested in separating from white 
America and leaving behind all we 
helped build up here. Are all the black 
mothers who gave up their sons in 
World War Two and Korea and Viet- 
nam just going to say, "OK, take this 
country, I'm leaving"? Hell, no. Per- 
sonally, I've paid too many dues for me 
and my wife and family to give up 
everything and split. And nobody's going 
to make me give it up, either—white or 
black, 

PLAYBOY: Television and movi 


ginni 


ics are be- 
g to cast blacks in such heretofore 
“white-only” roles as hero, villain, leader 
and lover. But the same media have 
been accused of overplaying protest dem- 
onstrations and riot situati thus deep- 
ening tensions between the races. What's 
your view of the job the media are doing? 
CHARLES: For black people, this revolu- 
tion’s been a mauer of taking from any 
source to further the cause. If white 
people see so-called black militants on 
TV, angry and yelling for what they say 
are their rights, some whites are natural- 
ly going to get mad, too. They're scared 
of anything thar looks like black folks 
getting an even break; for one thing, 
that may mean theyll have to compete 
evenly for the jobs that're offered. But 
that’s just the backlash, of course. by 
and large, TV is making the whole world 
aware of the problems we're having; and 
even if not many white Americans are 
moved to help solve them, the majority 
are Bae to stay out of the way of the 
people who are working for better con 
tions. So, generally speaking, television 
and radio and magazines and movies are 
doing a hell of a job on things like this. 
It’s also because of the media that black 
music has been heard by a much wider 
audience than it would have if people 
had to come into the ghettos to hear it 
in person. Music has brought more young 
people together than all the integration 
rulings of the Supreme Court. 

PLAYBOY. You may see music as a healing 
influence, but there are those who dis- 
agree with you. Orange County, Califor- 
nia’s Republican Congressman, James B. 
Utt, wrote in a recent newsletter to his 
constituency: “Communists have used 
rhythmic music to gain accept- 


expe how rock'n'roll 
music leads to a destruction of the normal 
inhibitory mechanisms of the cerebral cor- 
tex and permits easy acceptance of im- 
morality and disregard of all moral 
norms.” Whats your opinion of this 
analysis? 

CHARLES: My opinion is that it’s bullshit. 
This is a much freer society these days 
than it was even a few years ago, but 
hasn't had that much to do with 


it. It was a lot sexier in the “old days,” 
when people used to dance right up next 

it 
that way. There's nothing on earth sexier 
to me than holding a woman's soft, warm 
body right up next to mine. But nowa- 
days, people don't even hold hands. I've 
heard that music has caused youngsters 
to go out and rape women and rob men, 
but how can they blame that on rhythm- 
and-blues or rock music? It’s been around 
for too long to set folks on a rampage 
now. 

The thing that used to make some 
folks say u about black music is thc 
fact that it’s always been associated with 
shaking the hips, rolling the stomach 
and putting a lot of emotion into the 
dancing; it’s a little less straitlaced than 
the waltz, you know. But nobody's lead- 
ing anybody down the road to sexual 
destruction that wasn't on the way there 
in the first place. Maybe the lyrics are 
too sexy for some people today; but, you 
know, ten years ago, when I first sang 
“Baby, shake that thing," they said that 
was shocking—too racy. "They even 
banned it on a lot of radio stations. 
"Today, of course, it's a common thing. 1 
think they've found out the less you try 
to censor, the less people have to get 
frantic about. 

PLAYBOY. Do you feel as challenged by 
what you undertake these days as you 
did a few years ago, or are there no more 
walls to scale after over 20 successful 
years in show business? 

CHARLES: This is really my 26th year in 
this business. Any entertainer who can 
say that has to be mighry grateful. I've 
watched lots of very good people come and 
go in this profession. Guys who were 
making a mint just ten years ago aren't 
around today, in most cases. The public 
is responsible for the fact that I'm not 
gone, along with them. I intend to keep 
on working as hard as I can to make the 
best music E know how for as long as the 
public wants to hear it. When they get 
tired of me coming onstage, I guess T'I 
just make records. And if they don't buy 
my new records, I'll just write songs. And 
when those don't sell. I'll just lay back 
and live off my royalties and work for 
worthy organizations like SCLC and the 
Sickle Cell Disease Research Foundatioi 
Any way it goes, I can't kick; life has 
been good to me. 

PLAYBOY: Have you any regrets? 

CHARLES: Every experience I've had—good 
and bad—has taught me something. The 
gs I've tried to keep; the bad 
l to throw out, once I was 
convinced they were detrimental. I 
born a poor boy in the South, I'm black, 
Im blind, I once fooled around with 
drugs, but all of it was like going to school 
—and I've tried to be a good student. I 
don’t regret a damn thing. 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY 


An avid sportsman, equally at ease in blue waters, on putting greens or snow-white slopes. As 
a popular activist, he’s constantly in the market for the latest gear, whatever the game. Facts: 
PLAYBOY delivers more men who bought skindiving equipment in the past year than any other mag- 
azine, 3 out of every 4 in the country; 2 out of every 5 men under 35 who bought golf clubs. To score 
with this massive sporting-goods market, sell itin PLAYBOY. A sure winner. (Source: 1969 Simmons.) 


New York + Chicago + Detroit - Los Angeles - San Francisco + Atlanta - London - Tokyo 


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fiction 


driven by the need to succeed, he pushed aside conscience, 
sex, everything that stood in his way 


RUDOLPH AWOKE exactly at a quarter to 
seven. He never set the alarm. There was 
no need to. 

The usual erection. Forget it. He lay 
quietly in bed for a minute or two. His 
mother was snoring im the next room. 
The curtains at the open window were 
blowing a little and it was cold in the 
room. A pale wintry light came through 
the curtains, making a long dark blur of 
the books on the shelves on the wall 
across from the bed 

Then he remembered. This was not 
going to be an ordinary day. At dosing 
the night before, he had gone into Cal 
derwood's office and laid the thick mani 
envelope on Calderwood's desk. “I'd like 
you to read this,” he had said to the old 
man, "when you find the time." 

Calderwood had eyed the envelope sus- 
piciously. “What’s in there?" he had 
sked, pushing gingerly at the envelope 
with one blunt finger 
Us complicated,” Rudolph had said 
"Td rather we didn't discuss it until 
you've read it.” 

"This another of your crazy ideas?" 
Calderwood had asked. The bulk of de 
envelope had seemed to anger him. “Are 
you pushing me again?” 


“Uh-uh,” Rudolph had said and 
smiled. 
"Do you know, young man," Calder- 


wood had said, “my cholesterol count has 
gone up appreciably since I hired you? 
Way up. 

"Mrs. Calderwood keeps asking me to 
try to make you take a vacation.” 

Does she, 2" Calderwood had 
snonted. “What she doesn’t know is that 
I wouldn't leave you alone in this store 
for ten consecutive minutes. Tell her that 
the next time she tells you to ry to 
make me take à vacation.” But he had 
caried the thick envelope, unopened, 
home with him when he left the store 
the night before. Once he started read. 
ing what was in it, Rudolph was sure he 
wouldn't stop until he had finished 

He lay still unde the 
cold room, almost deciding not to get up 
promptly this morning but lie there and 


a v 


now 


the covers in 


figure out what to say to the old man 
when he went into his office. But then 
he thought, The hell with it, play it 
cool, pretend it’s just another morning. 

He threw back the covers and crossed 
quickly and closed the window. He tried 
not to shiver as he took off his pajamas 
and pulled on his heavy track suit. He 
put on a pair of woolen socks and thick 
gum-soled tennis shoes. He got into 
plaid Mackinaw, over the track suit, and 
went ont of the apartment, closing the 
door softly, so as not to wake his mother. 

He took his motorcycle from the ga- 
rage where he rented space, pulled on a 
pair of woollined gloves and started off. 
It was only a few minutes to the college 
athletic field, where a thin, icy mist was 
ghosting up from the turt. 

Rudolph jogged twice around the 
track, broke into a sprint for 100 yards, 
josged two morc laps, then went into the 
140 at almost full speed. He enjoyed the 
feeling of being hard, but he also en 
joyed the early-morning quiet, the smell 
of turf, the changing of the scasons and 
the pounding of his fect on the track. 

His mother was awake when he got 
back to the apartment. “How is it out” 
she called. 

"Cold," he said. “You won't miss any- 
thing if you stay home today.” They 
continued with the fiction that his moth- 
cr normally went out every day, just like 
other women. 

He went the bathroom 
snipped off his sweaty track suit and 
shaved and took a steaming hot shower, 
soaping himself happily, then stood un- 
der an ice-cold sucam for a minute and 
came out tingling. He heard his mother 
squeezing orange juice and making coffee 
in the kitchen as he toweled himself dry, 
the sound of her movements like some- 
body dragging a heavy sack across the 
kitchen floor. He remembered the long- 
paced sprinting on the frozen track and 
thought, If I'm ever like that, TI ask 
somebody to knock me off 

He weighed himself on the 
scale. One hundred and sixty. Satisfacto- 
ry. He despised fat people. At the store, 


into nd 


hroom 


85 


PLAYBOY 


86 


without telling Calderwood his real rea- 
sons, he had tried to get rid of the clerks 
who were overweight. 
thbed some deodorant on hi 
before dressing. It was a long 
day, without a chance for a shower, and 
the store was always too hot in winter 
nd he couldn't take the chance of smell- 
ing from perspiration, He dressed in 
grayflannel slacks, a soft-blue shirt with 
a darkred tic, and put on a brown- 
tweed sports jacket, with no padding at 


the shoulders. For the first year at the 
store, he had dressed in sober dark busi- 
ness suits: but as he became more impor- 
tant in the company's hierarchy, he h 


d 
hed to more informal clothes. He 
g for his responsibilities and li 
had to make sure that he didn't appear 
pompous. The headwaiter complex. To 
be avoided at all costs. For the same 
reason, he had bought himself a motor- 
cycle. Nobody could’ say, as the assistant 
manager came roaring up to work, bare- 
aded, on a motorcycle, in all weathe 
t the young man was taking himself 
too seriously. You had to be careful to 
keep the envy quotient down as low as 
possible. He could easily afford a car, but 
he preferred the motorcycle, anyway. It 
kept his complexion fresh and made him. 
look as though he spent a good deal of 
his time outdoors. 

He went into the kitchen and kissed 
his mother good morning. She smiled 
girlishly. If he forgot to kiss her, there 
would be a long monolog over the bre: 
fast table about how badly she had slept 
and how the medicines the doctor pre- 
scribed for her were a waste of money. He 
did not tell his mother how much money 
he carned nor that he could very well 
ford to move them to a much better 
apartment. He didn’t plan any enterta 
ment at home and he had other uses for 
his money. 

He sat down at the kitchen table and 
drank his orange juice and coffee and 
munched some toast. His mother, slack. 
in the stained green dresing gown, with 
a cigarette already lit, just drank coffee. 
Her hair was lank and there were shock- 
ing huge rings of purple sag under her 
eyes. But with all that, she didn't seem 
ny worse to him than she had been for 
the past three years. She would probably 
live to the age of 90, He did not be- 
grudge her her longevity. She kept him 
out of the draft. Sole support of an 

nvalid mother. Last and dearest: mater- 
nal gift—she had spared him an ice- 
bound foxhole in Korea. 

"E had a dream last night,” she said. 
“About your brother Thomas. He looked 
the way he looked when he was eight 
years old. Like a choirboy at Easter. He 
came into my room and s: orgive me, 
forgive me.’ " She drank her coffee mood- 
ily. “I haven't dreamed about him in 
forever. Do you ever hear from him?" 

“No,” Rudolph said. 


“I would like to see him once more 
before I die,” she said. “After all, he is 
my own flesh and blooc 

“You're not going to die.” 

“Maybe not,” she said. "I have a feel 
ing when spring comes, I'm going to feel 
much better. We can go for walks ag; 

“That's good news," Rudolph said, 
ishing his coffee and standing. He kissed 
her goodbye. “I'll fix dinner tonight,” he 
said. “I'll shop on the way home. 


coquettishly, "surprise me. 
he said, “I'll surprise you 

The night watchman was still on duty 
at the employees’ entrance when Ru- 
dolph got to the store, carrying the 
morning papers, which he had bought 
on the way over. 

“You sure arc an early bird," the night 
watchman said. "When I was your age, 
you couldn't drag me out of bed on a 
morning like this.” 

That’s why you're a night watchman 
at your age, Sam, Rudolph thought; but 
he merely smiled and went on up to his 
office, through the dimly lit and slecping 
store. 

His office was neat and bare, with two 
desks, one for himself and one for Miss 
Giles, ged, efficient 
spinster. There were piles of magazines 
geometrically stacked on wide shelves, 
Vogue, French Vogue, Seventeen, Glam- 
our, Harper's Bazaar, Esquire and House 
and Garden, which he combed for id 
for various departments of the store. "The 
quality of the town was changing rapidly; 
the new people coming up from the city 
1 money and spent it freely. The 
tives of the town were more prosperous 
than they had ever been and were begin- 
ning to imitate the tastes of the more 
sophisticated newer arrivals. Calderwood 
fought a stubborn tion 
against the transformation of his store 
from a solid, lower-middle-class establish- 
ent to what he called a grab bag of fads 
and fancy gewgaws; but the balance sheet 
could not be gainsaid as Rudolph pushed 
through one innovation after another, 
and it was becoming easier each month 
for Rudolph to put his ideas into prac 
tice. Calderwood had even agreed, after 
nearly a year of opposition, to wall off 
of what had been an unnecessarily 
capacious delivery room and turn it into 
a liquor store, with a line of fine French 
wines. 

Rudolph spread the newspapers on his 
desk. There was the local sheet, the 
Whitby Record, and the cdition of The 
New York Times that came up on 
the first train of the morning. The front 
page of the Times reported heavy fight- 
ing along the 38th Parallel and new 
accusations of treason and infiltration by 
Senator McCarthy in Washington. The 
Record’s front page reported on a vote 


is secretary, a middle. 


for new taxes for the school board (not 
passed) and on the number of skiers 
who had made use of the new s 
nearby since the season began 

Rudolph turned to the inside pages of 
the Record. The half page two-color ad- 
vertisement for a new line of wool dresses 
and sweaters was sloppily done, with ui 
colors bleeding out of their margins, and 
Rudolph made a note on liis desk pad to 
call the paper about it that morning. 

Then he opened to the stock-exchange 
figures in the Times and studied them 
for 15 minutes. When he l saved 
$1000, he had gone to Johnny Heath 
and asked him, as a favor, to invest it for 
him. Johnny, who handled accounts in 
the millions of dollar d gravely con 
sented, and worried over Rudolpli's trans- 
actions as though Rudolph were one of 
the most important of his firm's customers. 
Rudolph's holdings were still small, but 
they were growing steadily. Looking over 
the stock-exchange page, he was pleased 
to see that he was almost $300 richer this 
morning, on paper, than he had been the 
morning before. He breathed a quiet 
prayer of thanks to his friend Johnny 
Heath and turned to the crossword puzzle 
id got out his pen and started on it. It 
was one of the pleasantest moments of the 
day. If he managed to finish the puzzle 
before nine o'clock, when the store 
opened, he started off on the day's work 
with a faint sense of triumph. 

Fourteen across. Heep. Uriah, he print- 
ed neatly and swiftly. 

He was almost finished with the puzzle 
when the phone rang. He looked at 
watch. The switchboard was open carly, 
he noted approvingly. He picked up the 
phone with his left hand. “Yes?” he said, 
as he printed ubiquitous in one of the 
vertical columns. 

“Jordache? That you?” 

Yes, Who's this? 
Denton, Professor Denton. 

“Oh, how arc you, sir?" Rudolph said. 
He puzzled over sober in five letters, A 
the third letter. 

“I hate to bother you," Denton said. 
His voice sounded peculiar, as though he 
were w i nd were afraid of 


being overh ut can | sce you 
sometime today? 
“Of course,” Rudolph said. He printed 


staid along the lowest line of the puzzle. 
He still thought of Denton as his best 
and most inspiring teacher. Rudolph saw 
him occasionally when he went to bor 
row books on business management and 
economics at the college. "I'm in the 
store all day. 

Denton's voice made a. funny, slidiag 
sound in the phone. “I'd prefer it if we 
could. meet somewhere besides the store. 
Are you free for lunch?" 

“I take just forty-five minutes——" 

“That's all right. We'll make it some- 
place near you.” Denton sounded gaspy 

(continued on page 102) 


“Didn't Tom tell you that you didn’t have to dress?” 


COPING WITH FUTURE SHOCK 


a proposal for preventive planning in our personal lives and social structures to 


prepare for the disorienting traumas of explosive changes in this decade and beyond 


article By ALVIN TOFFLER its ricrure was, until recently, everywhere: on television, on posters that 
stared out at one in airports and railroad stations, on leaflets, matchbooks and magazines. He was an inspired creation 
of Madison Avenue—a fictional character with whom millions could subconsciously identify, Young and clean-cut, he 
carried an attaché case, glanced at his watch and looked like an ordinary businessman off to his next appointment 
—except for an enormous protuberance on his back. Sticking out from between his shoulder blades was a great, 
butterflyshaped key of the type used to wind up mechanical toys. The text that accompanied his picture urged 
keyed-up executives to “unwind” at the Sheraton Hotels. This wound-up man on the go was, and still is, a striking 
symbol of our times. 

"The average individual knows little and cares less about such abstract issues as the rate of change in society as a 
whole. But he is keenly aware of the pace of his own life. And this pace is a product of change. Today, the techno- 
societies—the United States, western Europe and Japan—are caught in a revolution that is rocketing them into 
the future at fantastically accelerated speeds. Anyone who mistakes the present period for one of normal change, or 
for a simple straight-line extension of the Industrial Revolution, dangerously underestimates the impact and ve- 
locity of the changes that lie immediately ahead. Millenniums of change will be compressed into the next 30 or 40 
years, as a wholly novel civilization—superindustrialism—explodes into being in our midst. 

This new society will embody values radically different from today's—with the drive for material success sub 
ordinated to bizarre new aesthetic, religious, moral and social goals, It will be crammed with new forms of anti- 
bureaucratic organization—rapidly shifting, kinetic Ad-Hocracies. It will offer a dazzling variety of choice with 
respect to products, culture, jobs 1 life styles. Yet the single most important feature of this new society will be its 
pace. For superindustrialism will not be a single, stable society but a sequence of temporary societies, with kaleido- 
scopically changing institutions, relationships and ground rules. In this Pirandellian world of tomorrow, the individual 
will be forced to make and break his ties with the environment at a relentlessly quickening tempo. Things, places, 
people, organizations and information will, in effect, speed through his life, compelling him to learn, dislearn and re- 
learn, to commit and uncommit himself, to adapt and readapt—in short, to live—at a faster pace than ever before. 

This acceleration in the pace of daily life is already producing severe distress in millions of us. Vast numbers of 
us seem frazzled, strung out, numbed, overwhelmed, shocked by change. Many can no longer manage their own lives 
competently. They are, in fact, the early victims of what could turn out to be tomorrow's most significant social sick- 
ness: future shock. As defined in last month's article, future shock is the adaptive breakdown that even the strongest 
and most stable individual suffers when demands for change overwhelm his bodily defenses and mental capaci- 
ties. Ask a man to change his life too quickly and even if he doesn't fall physically ill, he is likely to plunge into 
bewilderment, anxiety and sick irritability. Like a worker on an assembly line that’s running too fast, he becomes 
all thumbs, falling farther and farther behind as he attempts to cope with even the simplest problems of daily life. 
His personal priorities become confused. He careens through his personal world, frenetically on the go, but with 
out any durable sense of direction. Things begin to go wrong. As they do, he lashes out senselessly, even at those 
who most want to help him. Eventually, after a crescendo of anger or aggression, he collapses into emotional 
exhaustion. What follows is an apathy so deep as to be self-destructive, like the arctic sleep of the blizzard-bound 
explorer. Some of today's young people who have chosen to drop out or disengage—holing up in caves and communes, 
looking blankly at the sky, showing no emotion even when confronted by news that would shake a normal person— 
may well be suffering from this last stage of overstimulation. For others, drug abuse is the end point of future shock. 

But the flight from reality and from emotion is not the only form of maladaptation to rapid change. Much of the 
anxiety, irrationality and seemingly senseless violence in today's society may also be symptoms of future shock. For 
the accelerative thrust places a dangerous strain on all our habitual methods for dealing with change. 'To survive 
the superindustrial revolution, we must take a fresh look at all our personal and social coping mechanisms. We 
must build future-shock absorbers into our lives and into the emerging institutions of tomorrow's society. 

At the most personal level, we can improve our ability to cope with change by doing consciously some of 
ample, we can deliberately set aside time for examining our 


the things that we already do unconsciously. For ex 
bodily and psychological reactions to change, briefly tuning out the external environment to evaluate our inner 
not a matter of wallowing in subjectivity but of coolly appraising our own performance 
iology and psychiatry, the indi- 


environment. This i 


In the words of H 
n “consciously look for signs of being keyed up too much." Heart palpita 
gnal overstimulation, just as confusion, unusual irritability, profound lassitude and 


ans Selye, whose work on stress opened new frontiers in 
vidual ca 


ns, tremors, insomnia or un- 


explained fatigue may well 


ILLUSTRATION BY RON BRADFORD. 


89 


PLAYBOY 


90 


a panicky sense that things are slipping 
out of control are psychological indica- 
tions. By asking ourselves if we are li 
ing too fas, we can attempt, quite 
consciously, to assess our own life pace. 

How many times in the past few 
years have we moved, changed jobs or 
schools, traveled to new places, entered 
nto new, emotionally demanding relation- 
ships, been ill, suffered a family crisis, 
fallen into debt, been promoted, shifted 
to a new style of life? How does this pace 
compare with that of the years immedi- 
ately before? By crudely appraising the 
frequency and depth of our life changes, 
we can gain some indication of whether 


Having done this, we can also begin con 


sciously to influence it—first with respect 


to small things, the microenvironment, 
nd then in terms of the larger, structural 
patterns of experience. 

Change acts as a stimulant. But pro- 
longed exposure to an overstimulating 
environment can have serious physio 
logical and psychological consequences. 
When the level of stimulation riscs too 
high, we begin to show the symptoms of 
future shock. 

The fact is that, whether or not we are 
ware of it, much of our daily behavior 
is an attempt to ward off future shock. 
We employ conscious and unconscious 
techniques to lower levels of environ- 
mental stimulation when they threaten 
to drive us above our adaptive range. 
We employ a destimulating tactic, for 
example, when we storm into a room 
to wm off a stereo rig that has been 
battering our eardrums with unwanted 
and interruptive sounds. We act to re- 
duce sensory bombardment in other ways, 
too—when we pull down the blinds 
to darken a room or search for solitude 
on a deserted strip of beach. We close 
doors, wear sunglasses avoid smelly 
places and shy away from touching 
strange surfaces when we want to de- 
crease novel sensory input. In short, we 
employ sensory shielding—a thousand 
subtle behavioral tricks to turn off sen- 
sory stimuli when they approach our 
upper adaptive limit 

We use similar tactics to prevent infor- 
mation overload. The best of students 
periodically gazes out the window, block- 
ing out his professor, shutting off the flow 
of new data from that source. Even vora- 
s readers sometimes go through peri- 
ods when they cannot bear to pick up a 
book or a magazine. 

Why, during a gregarious eveni 
a friend's house, does one person in the 
group refuse to learn a new card or board 
game while others urge n on? Many 
factors play a part: the self-esteem of the 
ndividual, the fear of seeming foolish, 
d so on. But one overlooked factor 
llccting willingness to lcarn may well be 
the general level of cognitive stimulation 
or change in the individual's life at the 


time. "Don't bother me with facts!" is a 
phrase usually uttered in jest. But the 
joke often disguises a real wish to avoid 
being pressed too hard by new data. 

We also attempt to regulate the pace 
of decision making. We postpone deci- 
sions or delegate them to others when we 
are sullering from decision overload. 
When I joined a woman sociologist and 
her husband for dinner at a restaurant 
after she had just returned from a 
crowded, highly stimulating professional 
conference, she absolutely refused to 
make any decisions whatever about her 
meal. "What would you like?” her hus. 
band asked. "You decide for me," she 
replied. When pressed to choose between 
specific alternatives, she still refused, in- 
sisting angrily that she lacked the energy 
to make the decision. 

Through such methods we attempt, as 
best we can, to modulate the flow of 
sensory, cognitive and decisional stimula- 
tion. But we have stronger ways of cop- 
ing with the threat of overstimulation. 
We can, for example, cut down on change 
and stimulation by consciously main- 
taining longer-term relationships with 
the various elements of our physical en- 
vironment, Thus, we can refuse to pur- 
chase throwaway products. We can hang 
onto the old jacket for another season; 
we can stoutly refuse to follow the latest 
fashion trend; we can resist when the 
salesman tells us it's time to trade in our 
automobile. In this way, we reduce the 
need to make and break ties with the 
physical objects around us 

We can use the same tactic with re- 
spect to people and the other dimensions 
of experience. There arc times when 
even the most gregarious person feels 
antisocial and refuses invitations to par. 
ties or other events that call for social 
teraction. We consciously disconnect. 
In the same way, we can minimize travel. 
We can resist pointless reorganizations 
our company, church, fraternal or 
community groups: In making important 
decisions, we can consciously weigh the 
hidden costs of change against the benefits. 

None of this is to suggest that change 
can or should be stopped. Nothing is less 
sensible than the advice of the Duke of 
Cambridge, who is said to have har 
rumphed: “Any change, at any time, for 
any reason is to be deplored.” Some level 
of change is as vital to health, to avert 
boredom, as too much change is dam- 
aging. Yet we need to control this level, 
to manage it rather than let it control us. 

Some people, for reasons still not clear, 
are pitched at a much higher level of 
stimulus hunger than others. They seem 
to crave change even when others are 
reeling from it. A new house, a new car, 
another trip, another crisis on the job, 
more house guests, visits, financial adven- 
tures and misadventures—they seem to ac- 
cept all these and more without apparent 
ill effect. Yet close analysis of such people 
often reveals the existence in their lives of 


what might be called stability zones—cer 
tain enduring relationships that are care. 
fully maintained despite all kinds of other 
changes. One scientist I know has n 
through a series of love affairs, a divorce 
and remarriage—all within a very short 
time. He thrives on change, enjoys tra 
new foods and new ideas, new mo! 
plays and books. He has a high intellec 
and a low threshold of boredom, is im- 
patient with tradition and restlessly eager 
for novelty. Ostensibly, he is a walking 
exemplar of change. When we look more 
closely, however, we find that he has stayed 
on the same job for ten years. He drives a 
battered scven-ycarold automobile. His 
dothes are a [ew yearsout of style. Hisclos 
cxt friends are longtime professional asso- 
cates and even a few old college buddi 

A different form of stability zone is the 
habit pattern that goes with some people 
wherever they travel no matter what 
other changes alter their lives—like the 
professor who has made seven residential 
relocations in ten years, travels constantly 
the U. S., South America, Europe 
Africa, has changed jobs repeatedly, yct 
pursues the same daily regimen wherever 
he is. He reads between eight and nine in 
the morning, takes 45 minutes for exercise 
at lunchtime and then catches a half-hour 
cat nap before plunging into work that 
keeps him busy until ten pat. 

The secret of coping with future shock 
is not, therefore, to suppress change, 
which cannot be done, but to manage it 
A broken engagement probably should 
not be too closely followed by a job 
transfer. Since the birth of a child alters 
all the human ties within a family, it 
probably ought not be followed too close- 
ly by a relocation, which causes tremen- 
dous turnover in human ties outside the 
family. The recent widow should not. 
perhaps, rush to sell her house. If we opt 
for rapid change in certain sectors of 
life, we can consciously attempt to build 
stability zones elsewhere. Nor is th 
purely negative proces—a struggle to 
suppress or limit change. The issue for 
any individual attempting to cope with 
rapid change is how to maintain himself 
in his adaptive range and, beyond 
that, how to find the optimum point at 
which he lives at peak effectiveness. Dr. 
John L. Fuller, a senior scientist at the 
Jackson Laboratory. a biomedical re- 
search center in Bar Harbor, Maine, has 
conducted experiments on the impact of 
i ivation and overload 
he says, “achieve a cer 
tain sense of serenity, even in the midst 
of turmoil, not because they are immune 
to emotion, but because they have found 
ways to get just the ‘right’ amount of 
change in their lives.” The search for 
that optimum may be what much of the 
pursuit of happiness is about 


The trouble is that such personal tac- 
tics for regulating stimulation become 
(continued on page 96) 


scorNING the ancient soothsayer’s advice 
to “Beware the ides of March,” we sug- 
ne to glorify that 


could we find than to pay pictorial trib 

ute to great Caesar's handmaidens—a 
endowed body of Ror 

who make brief (and briefly auired) 

appearance in the latest and most ambi- 

tious screen version of SI 

ius Caesar, 

Commonwealth United, the film a 

boasts a star-studded cast. headed dy 

Sir John Gielgud in the title role, Charl- 

ton Heston portraying Mark Antony, 

Jason Robards as the noble Bru 

ard Johnson as the troubled Cas 


Richard Chamberlain as the future first 
emperor, Octavius. The script closely 


pictorial 


THE GIRLS OF 
‘JULIUS CAESAR" 


this high-budget film 
boasts a phalanx of 

near-nude charmers as 
the noblest romans 

devoted handmatdens 


Caesar's triumphant return ta Rome from Spain is heralded on the screen by all the trappings af victary—mobs of cheering citizens and bore- 
breasted handmaidens During the filming of the processional, Caesor (Sir Jahn Gielgud) ond his fetching attendants posed for us on the Forum steps. 


follows the Bard's scenario, except for 
the obvious—and welcome—addi: 
th DE 


a 
were barred from the Elizabeth 
nale roles were taken by boy: y. 
mes have changed—and producer Peter 
nell has lightened the tragedy by sur- 
rounding Caesar in the opening proces- 
sional with some truly classic lovelies. 
(He'll also be accompanied by royal ele- 
phants, but we thought you'd rather see 
the handmaidens.) Commonwealth United 
invited us to its lavish sets for an exclu- 
pictorial preview of the girls provided 
the film. If such beauty abounded 2000 
years ago (as indicated by some frescoes 
from the period), it's easier than ever to 
appreciate “the grandeur that was Rome.” 


i ri 
Ld 

m 

Vas 


Top, left fo right: Sultry Birche Sector is accom- 
panied by o Romon guard on her woy to hoil 
Cocsor. A 2l-yeor-old model from Denmork, 
Birche hos olso oppeored in The Magic Christion 
os one of Roquel Welch's topless slove girls. 
Stotuesque {38-23-36} lody in woiting Stephonie 
Harrison wos recently chosen os the mest 
beoutiful girl in Europe by British photogropher 
Clive Mcleon. Chorlion Heslon's cup runneth 
over when, cs Merk Antony, he ployfully in- 
vites Romon both otfendont Borbora Lindley to 
loke the plunge. Wet-hoired Helen Jones begon 
her coreer os o model; here, a. hondholding 
Roman citizen (one of the thousond-plus extras 
used in the film) eschews her chorms, presum- 
obly to ovoid the petrified fote of the gentle- 
mon behind. Below: With Caesor in absentia, 
his hondmoidens entertoin the troops in true boc- 
chonolion style. Bottom right: Pearl-bedecked 
Florence George, o notive of the British West 
Indies, tokes naturally to the sun in o Remon 
courtyord. Only 19, she has worked recently 
with Sommy Dovis Jr. ond Peter Lowford on 
One More Time, a sequel to Solt ond Pepper. 


Top, left to right: Dusky Moureen Finloy wos 
hond-picked by producer Peter Snell from over 
200 would-be handmoidens. Octovius (Richard 
Chomberloin] gels o rubdown befitting the fu- 
ture emperor from Stephanie Horrison and 
fong-hoired Jone! Peorce. Trained os a foshion 
model, 17-yeor-old Jonet hos olso oppeored in 
The Magic Christion ond The Choirman. Behind 
o strotegically ploced morble bench, Erico 
Simmonds provocolively eyes on unidentified 
citizen of Rome. Erico lives just o few minutes 
away from Englonds MGM studios ot Borehom 
Wood [where most of Caesar wos filmed) and 
was spotted for this role by on olert talent scout 
during his lunch breok. On the ploin in Spain 
where the Philippion battle scenes were shot, 
Alendre (Sandy) Jones fons the flomes in Brutus’ 
comp. Below: Richord Johnson gives us o new 
interpretotion of the oft-quoted “Yond Cossius 
hos o leon ond hungry lock" os he opproises 
the oppetizing delicacies ovoiloble in both 
the morkst ploce (with Stephonie at for left) 
and on a well-oppointed sedon chair, whose 
Provisions include the lovely Jonet (ot right). 


PLAYBOY 


96 


COPING WITH FUTURE SHOCK 


less effective with every passing day. As 
the rate of change climbs, it becomes 
harder for individuals to create the per- 
sonal stability zones they need. The costs 
of nonchange escalate. We stay in the 
old apartment—only to see the neighbor- 
hood transformed. We keep the old car 
—only to see repair bills mount beyond 
reach. We refuse to transfer to a new 
location—only to lose out on a better 
job as a result. For while there are steps 
we can take to reduce the impact of 
change in our personal lives, the real 
problem lies outside ourselves. 

To create an environment in which 
change enlivens and enriches the individ- 
ual but does not overwhelm him, wc 
should employ not merely personal tactics 
but social strategies. If we are to carry 
people through the accelerative period, 
we must begin now to build future-shock 
absorbers into the very core of superin- 
dustrial society. And this requires a fresh 
way of thinking about change and non- 
change in our lives. It even requires a 
different way of classifying people. 

Today, we tend to categorize individ- 
uals not according 10 the changes they 
happen to be undergoing at the moment 
but according to their status or position 
between changes. We consider a union 
man as someone who has joined a union 
and not yet quit. Our designation refers 
not to joining or to quitting but to the 
nonchange that happens in between. 
Playwright, college student, Methodist, 
executive—all refer to the person's con 
ion between changes. There is, how- 
ever, a radically different way to view 
people. The dassifications "one who is 
changing his job" or "one who is getting 
a divorce" or "one who is entering or 
leaving a college" are all based on tem- 
porary, transitional conditions, rather 
than on the more enduring conditions 
between transitions. sudden shift 
of focus, from thinking about what 
people are to thinking about what they 
are becoming, suggests a whole array 
of new approaches to adaptation. Onc 
of the most imaginative and simplest of 
these comes from Dr. Herbert Gerjuoy, 
a psychologist on the staff of the Human 
Resources Research Organization. He 
terms it “situational grouping” and, like 
most good ideas, it sounds obvious once 
it is described. Yet it has never been 
systematically utilized. 

Dr Gerjuoy argues that we should 
provide temporary organizations—si 
tional groups—for people who happen 
to be passing through similar life tra 
sitions at the same time. Such situational 
groups should be established, Dr. Gerjuoy 
contends, “for families caught in the up- 
heaval of relocation, for wansfer stu- 
dents, for men and women about to be 
divorced, for people about to lose a 
parent or a spouse, for those about to 
gain a child, for men preparing to switch 


ua- 


(continued from page 90) 


10 a new occupation, for families that 
have just moved into a community, 
for those about to marry off their last 
child, for those facing imminent retire- 
ment—for anyone, in other words, who 
faces an important life change. Member- 
ship in these groups would, of course, be 
temporary—just long enough to help each 
member with his transitional difficulties. 
Some groups might meet for a few 
months, others might not do more than 
hold a single meeting." By bringing to- 
gether people who are sharing or are 
about to share a common adaptive expe 
ience, claims Dr. Gerjuoy, we help eq 
them to cope with it. “A man required 
to adapt to a new life situation loses 
some of his bases for self-esteem. He 
begins to doubt his own abilities. If 
we bring him together with others who 
are moving through the same experience, 
people he can identify with and respect, 
we strengthen him. The members of the 
group come to share, even if briefly, 
some sense of identity. They see their 
problems more objectively. They trade 
useful ideas and insights. Most impor- 
tant, they suggest future alternatives for 
one another,” 

This emphasis on the future, says Dr. 
Gerjuoy, is critical. Unlike some group- 
therapy sessions, the meetings of situa- 
tional groups should not be devoted to 
hashing over the past but to planning 
practical strategies for the new life si 
uation. Members might watch movies of 
similar groups wrestling with the same 
kinds of problems. They might hear from 
others who are more advanced in the 
transition than they are. In short, they 
would be given the opportunity to pool 
their personal experiences and ideas be- 
fore the moment of change was upon them. 

Last month in these pages, we pointed 
to the proliferation of countless ad hoc 
organizations as a prime symptom of the 
accelerating pace of change. If the ad- 
vocacy here of more such groupings 
sounds like fighting fire with fire, it is 
Admittedly, there is an adaptational cost 
nvolved in relating to any transient or 


ganization, including a situational group. 
But the enhancement of adaptability 
that such a group can achieve far out- 
weighs its cost. 

In essence, there is nothing novel 


about this approach. Even now, certain 
organizations are based on situational 
principles. A group of Peace Corps vol. 
unteers preparing for an overseas mission 
is, in effect, just such a grouping, as are 
pre and postnatal classes. Freshman ori- 
entation groups are similar in principle, 
though often pathetically poor in prac 
tice. Many American towns have a New- 
comers’ Club that invites new residents 
to dinners or socials, permitting them ta 
mix with other recent arrivals and com- 
pare problems and plans. Perhaps there 
ought to be Out-movers’ Clubs as well. 


What is new is the suggestion that we 
systematically honeycomb the society 
with such "coping classrooms. 

Not all help for the individual, ol 
course, can or necessarily should. come 
from groups. In many cases, what thc 
change-pressed person needs most is one 
to-one counseling during the crisis of 
adaptation. Today, persons in transition- 
al crises turn to a variety of experts—doc- 
tors, marriage counselors, psychiatrists, 
vocational specialists and others—for in- 
dividualized advice. Yet for many kinds 
of crisis, there are no appropri 
Who helps the family or individua 
with the need to move to a new city for 
the third time in five years? Who is there 
to help the junior executive who has just 
been bounced back to a lesser job? People 
Jike these are not sick. They neither need 
nor should receive psychiatric attention; 
yet there is, by and large, no counseling 
machin wailable to them. 

The answer to this problem is a 
counterpart to the situational-grouping 
system—a counseling setup that draws 
not only on the full-time, professional 
advice giver but on multitudes of 
experts as well. We must recogni 
what makes a per 
type of crisis i 
education but the very experience of 
having undergone a similar crisis himnsell. 
To help tide millions of people over 
the difficult transitions they are likely to 
face, we might well deputize large num: 
bers of nonprofessional people in the 
community—students, businessmen, teach- 
ers, workers and others—to serve as crisis 
counselors. They will be experts not in 
such conventional disciplines as psychol- 
ogy or health but in specific transitions — 
such as relocation, job promotion, di- 
vorce or the shift from one group of 
friends to another. 

Obviously, there is nothing new abou 
people seeking advice from one an- 
other. But our ability, through the use 
of computerized systems, to assemble 
situational groups swiftly, to match up 
individuals with counselors and to do 
both with considerable respect for pri- 
vacy and anonymity is new. Under such 
systems, the giving and getting of adv 
becomes not a social service in the usual 
bureaucratic, impersonal sense but a 
highly personalized process that helps 
individuals crest the currents of change 
in their own lives and also works to ce- 
ment the entire society together in an 
integrative system based on the principle 
of “I need you as much as you need 

e" Situational grouping and person 
to-person crisis counseling are likely to 
become a signifiant part of everyone's 
life as we all move together into the un- 
certainties of the future. 

A futureshock absorber of a quite 
different type is the halfway-house idea 
already employed by progressive prison 
authorities to case the convict’s way back 

(continued on page 174) 


e that 


e 


debt —— 


“Don't sit there, Larry. That's a mushroom." 


starting from scratch, here are the 
sartorial essentials to keep you well clad in today’s 
changing fashion climate 


ff 


SLEEPWEAR UNDERWEAR HOSE/ACCESSORIES SHIRTS 
3 sets pajamas (includ- | 12 sets, according to 12 pairs dark over-the- 12 dress, both medium 18 patterned 
ing one-piece jump-suit | personal preference. calf hose; 4 pairs ‘spread and long point (all 4-5 inches wide); 
style for lounging with- Gloves; 3 belts (solid, striped and 6 bows (one black 
Out a robe); 3 robes. (wo wide, one narrow); patterned); 6 casual butterlly for formal 
(kimono-style wrap- 2 mufflers and (voile, knit, woolen, wear); 6 silk neck and 
around, terry and full- 2 hats; 24 pocket etc.); 2 formal. pocket squares, solid 
| length belted cashmere handkerchiefs; jewelry; and patterned. 
dressing gown). Sportswear to 


SLACKS SHOES JACKETS sums 
2 solid; 1 patterned 4 black and brown for 2 solid (single- 
(wool-and-Dacron business (updated breasted velvet and a 


that keeps its press); 
3 casual (leather, wide- 
wale corduroy, velvet). 


and one pair 
of demiboots). 


classics, such as oxford 
and slip-on styles); 

4 casual (linen-leather 
combinations, bright 
suedes and pateris, 


double-breasted blazer); 
1 patterned (tweed or 
plaid). Sweaters should 
include 1 wool cable 
knit; 6 turtlenecks in 
assorted colors, at least 
two with matching belts 
in heavy wool knit. 


or pl 


2 dark (one for business, 
one more dashing for 
dinner); 1 light (per- 
haps a twill); 1 tweed 


black dinner jacket 
and trousers. 


ff 


OUTERWEAR 

2 topcoats (dark camel's 
hair and a cavalry twill); 
1 dark cashmere 
vercoal, depending on 
climate; 2 raincoats (one 
double- and one single- 
breasted); 1 informal 
coat (Iweed or suede); 

2 jackets (fitted 

leather or fur-lined), 


shirt suit; 


THE BASIC URBAN WARDROBE 


attire By ROBERT L, GREEN 


TIME was when a welldressed gentleman 
could build his wardrobe as he did his 
wine cellar, content in the knowledge 
that his selections would remain stylish- 
ly imperishable for years to come. Closets 
often overflowed with suits and sports 
jackets and bureaus bulged with shirts and 
other gear; all were fashionably correct 
—and all began to look tiresomely famil- 


iar, and alike, as men's clothing manufac- 


turers continued to cater to conservative 
tastes and to produce clichéed variations 
of popular apparel themes with predict- 
able regularity 

Now, as nearly everyone knows, those 
ays of dull, regimented men's fashions 
are dead and the male has become a pea- 
cock who digs the fact that his masculine 
garb helps attract the opposite sex. This 
has brought about a change in the urban 
man's buying habits. Instead 


of accu 


mulating a vast amount of shirts, suits, 
outercoats and other wearables, coday he 
prefers to maintain a smaller, more eclec 
tic basic wardrobe that reflects an aware- 
ness of just how quickly contemporary 
fashions cam become dated as styles 
shift from season to season. This basic 
wardrobe serves as a comfortable nucleus 
that allows individuals the pleasure of 
personal fashion expression 


tity 
without becoming overburdened with so 


99 


100 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALEXAS URBA 


t it becomes dif- 
ficult to swing with the times. 


many apparel items thz 


To illustrate our point, let's make the 


following improbable assumption: You've 
no wardrobe at all—no shirts, socks, 
shoes, suits, nothing—and you must stock 
your wardrobe literally from zero on up. 
(You may want to borrow some clothes 
before visiting the stores) But where do 
you go from here? What do you put your 
on in order to build a basic ward- 

Here's PLAYROY's answer: 
Let's begin with suits, since they're 
probably (text concluded on page 198) 


Here, cur previously birthday-suited mon obout 
town—beginning with nought but his bore ne 
cessities—hos rebuilt his wardrobe with good- 
looking gear styled for o variety of occosions. 
During working hours, he corners his firm's 
foshion market in o chalk-stripe wool flonnel 
two-button single-brecsted suit thot features 
peaked lopels ond flap pockets, by Christion 
Dior, $250; cotton broadcloth shirt with 
medium-spread collor ond French cuffs, by 
Sero, $10; woven plaid silk tie, by Lonvin for 
Hut, $8.50; ond o poir of buckle slip-on shoes, 
by Bolly, $25. When enjoying such sporting 
endeavors as c day at the roces, our guy puts 


his money cn o winning look that includes a 
cotton velvet two-bution single-breasted blozer, 
$170, wool flonrel slacks with slightly flored 
leg bottoms, $45, check-pattemed cotton shirt 
with long-pointed collor, $30, oll by Bill Bloss, 
and a pair of noturol-linen ond lecther monk 
strap slip-ons, by Renegades, $30. Come eve- 
ning, the same gentleman smoothly shifts into 
high-style gear ond dons a belted polyester 
knit shirt suit that features a long-pointed 
collor, by Peter Golding for Von Heusen / Wind- 
breaker, $72, worn with a pair of potent-leather 
slip-ons trimmed with leather and choin hord- 
ware, by John Weitz for Lord & Toylor, $25. 


> 
=< 
ow 


» 


PLAYBO 


102 


RUDOLPH IN MONEYLAND (continued jrom page 86) 


and hurried. In dass, he had been 
slow and sonorous. “How about Ripley's? 
That's just around the corner from you, 
isn't it? Is twelve-fifteen all right?” 

“Yes,” Rudolph said, surprised at Den- 
ton’s choice of restaurant. Ripley's 
more of a saloon than a restaurant and 
was frequented by workmen with a thirst 
rather than by anybody who was looking 
for a decent meal. It certainly wasn't the 
sort of place you'd think an aging profes: 
sor of history and economics would seek 
out. 

Rudolph frowned, wondering what was 
bothering Denton, then put the phone 
down. He looked at his watch. Nine 
o'dock. The doors were open. Hi 
tary came into the office and said, 
morning, Mr. Jordache. 
od morning, Mi: iles" he said 
and tossed the Times into the w: 
sket, annoyed. Because of Denton, 
dint finished the puzzle before ni 
o'clock. 


He made his first round of the store 


for the day, walking slowly, smiling at 
the clerks, not stopping nor seeming to 


ce when his eye caught somet 
amiss. Later in the morning, back in his 
office, he would dictate polite memos to 
the appropriate department head that 
the neckties piled on the counter for a 
sale were not arranged neatly enough, 
that Miss Kale, in cosmetics, had on too 
much eye make-up, that the ventilation 
in the fountain and teashop was not 
sufficient. 

He looked with special interest at the 
departments that had mot been there 
until he had induced Calderwood to put 
them in—the little boutique, which sold 
junk jewelry and Italian sweaters and 
French scarves and fur hats and which 
id a surprising business; the fountain 
and teashop (it was amazing how women 
never stopped eating), which not only 
showed a solid profit on its own but 
which had become a meeting place for 
lunch for many of the housewives of the 
town, who then rarely got out of the 
store without buying something; the ski 
shop, in a corner of the old sporting- 
goods department, presided over by an 
athletically built young man called Lar- 
sen, who dazzled the local girls on the 
nearby slopes on winter Sundays and 
who being criminally underpaid, 
considering how much trade he lured 
into the shop merely by sliding down a 
hill once a week. The young man had 
offered to teach Rudolph how to ski. 
but Rudolph had declined, with a smile. 
He couldn't afford to break a leg, he 
explained. 

The record counter was his idea, too, 
and that brought in the young wade 
with its weirdly lavish allowances. Cal- 
derwood, who hated noise and who 


couldn't stand the way most young people 
behaved (his own three daughters, now 
young ladies, behaved with cowed Victo- 
rian decorum), had fought bitterly against 
the record counter. “I don't want to run 
a goddamn honky-tonk,” he had said. 
"Deprave the youth of America with those 
barbaric noises that. pass for music these 
days. Leave me in peace, Jordache, leave a 
poor old-fashioned merchant in peace." 

But Rudolph had produced. statistics 
on how much teenagers in America spent 
on records every year and had promised 
to have soundproof booths put in and 
Calderwood, as usual, had capitulated. 
He often seemed to be irritated with 
Rudolph, but Rudolph was unfailingly 
polite and patient with the old man and. 
most things, had learned how to man- 
ge him. Privately, Calderwood boasted 
about his pip.squeak of an assistant man. 
ager and how clever he himself had been 
in picking the boy out of the herd. He 
had also doubled his salary, with no 
urging from Rudolph. and had given 
hima bonus at Christmas of $3000. "He is 
not only modernizing the store,” Calder- 
wood had been heard to say, although 
not in Rudolph’s presence. "The son of 
a bitch is modernizing me. Well, when it 
comes down to it, that's what I ed a 
young man for." 

Once a month, Rudolph was invited 
to di Calderwoods’ house, 
grim puritanical affairs at which the 
daughters spoke only when spoken to 
and nothing stronger than apple juice 
was served, The oldest daughter, Pru- 
dence, who was also the prettiest, had 
asked Rudolph to escort her to several of 
the country-club dances, and Rudolph 
had done so. Once away from her father, 
Prudence did not behave with Victorian 
decorum, but Rudolph carefully kept his 
hands off her. He was not going to do 
anything as banal or as dangerous as 
marrying the boss's daughter. 

He was wary of all girls. He could 
tell as he walked through the store 
that here and there, there was a girl who 
looked at him flirtatiously, who would 
be delighted to go out with him—Miss 
Sullivan, raven-haired, in the boutique; 
Miss Brandywine, tall and lithe, in the 
youth shop; Miss Soame: the record 
shop, small and bosomy and blonde, jig. 
gling to the music, smiling demurely as 
he passed; maybe six or seven others. He 
was tempted, of course, but he fought 
the temptation down and behaved with 
perfect impersonal courtesy to everybody. 
‘There were no office parties at Calder- 
wood's, so there wa 
with the excuse of liquor and celebration, 
any rcal approach could be made. 

All in good time, he told himself, all in 
good time. Meanwhile, while other young 
men squandered their energy and precious 
hours seducing, pampering, quarreling, 


ion on which, 


s no occ: 


ntiguing and farewelling, he could 
work and study for morc profitable ends. 

As he repassed the record counter, he 
made a mental note to try to get some 
older woman in the store tactfully to 
suggest to Miss Soames that perhaps she 
ought to wear a brassiere under her 
sweater. 


He was going over the drawings for 
the March window displays with Berg- 
son, the young man who prepared die 
displays, when the phone rang. 
Calderwood, "can you 
come down to my office for a minute?” 
‘The voice was flat, giving nothing away. 

“T'I be right there, Mr. Calderwood 
Rudolph said. He hung up. "I'm afraid 
these'll have to wait a little while," he 
id to Bergson. Bergson was a find. He 
had done the sets for the summer theater 
in Whitby and Rudolph liked them and 
had asked Bergson to stay on through 
the winter. Calderwood had absolutely 
refused to pay for somebody to come up 
from New York and, until Bergson had 
come on the scene, the windows had 
been done haphazardly, with the dif- 
ferent departments fighting for space 
and then doing their own displays, with- 
out any reference to what was being 
shown in the windows beside their own. 
Bergson had changed all that. He thought 
up a common theme that he carried 
through for every window and was in- 
genious about fitting things as different 
as ladies nightgowns and garden tools 
into the same conception. He was a small, 
sad young man who couldn't get into 
the scene designers’ union in New York 
and who was grateful for the winter's 
work and put all his considerable talent 
into it. Used to working on the cheap 
for summer-theater productions, he made 
use of all sorts of unlikely inexpensive 
materials and did the artwork himself. 
The plans laid out on Rudolph's desk 
were on the theme of spring in the coun- 
try and Rudolph had already told Berg- 
son that he thought they were going to 
be the best set of windows Calderwood's 
had ever had. Glum as Bergson was, Ru- 
dolph enjoyed the hours he spent working 
with him, as compared with the hours he 
had to spend with the heads of depart- 
ments and the head of costs and account- 
ing. who kept deluging him with figures 
about markups and acceptable margins of 
profit and inventory of stock that wasn't 
moving as it should. Rudolph was un- 
easy with figures and the actual financial 
side of the business bored him, both 
things he was careful to hide at all times. 
In an ideal scheme of things, he thought, 
he would never have to look at a balance 
sheet or go through a monthly inventory. 

He left Bergson looking unhappily at 
a sketch of two mannequins, to be made 
out of straw, dressed in polka-dot bath- 
ing suits next to a painted pool, and 

(continued on page 199) 


the planetary aspects are bright . 
with promise, and considerable . 


fortune, for those horoscopic sky 
scanners who divine the future 
for some 20,000,000 astronuts 


anice BY G. ROBBRT JENNINGS 
(A Virgo with Leo Rising) 


THE SCENE is a social-celebrity cock- 
; tail party on the seminal slopes of 


West Hollywood. "Boo!" says the - 


* tall, courtly man who advertises him- 


 SHITiInG ON THE STARS 


9 


self modestly as the World's Greatest 
Astrologian. "Gregarious Aquarius 
here! How's Virgo the Virgin tonight? 


Meet Miss June 23! Don't abuse , 


her, she's a sensitive child, born on 
the cusp of Moonchild—I don't say 
Cancer, because of the malignity, 
you know. Oh, Leo, don't be so 
pompous. Be hearts and flowers and 
tiddlywinks tonight. Scorpio, too, 
you old troublemaker, this is Sag." 
(Aside: "Sags are Gods on wheels.") 
"Now, action, action, action" The 


PLAYBOY 


104 


several hundred guests are rapt, clinging like leeches to 
every Babylonian locution, yearning for some instant 
analysis from their superseer. 

A trembling man sits with his pretty lady on an Ari- 
zona ranch and tells the grizzled old astrologer he has 
a premonition of death by gunshot. "I never saw a per- 
son get shot unless he's got a Mars-Uranus affliction,” 
says the astrologer. The man leaps to his feet: "My God, 
thats what I've got! And this woman's another man's 
wife. Do something!" The astrologer shakes his head 
and says evenly: "Mars conjunct Uranus can be a hell- 
uva sex aspect; it can involve rape and violence in a 
mill town; but in a place like this, heck, all it mcans 
is a little adultery. Rela: 

In Malibu, the recovering movie star confesses to her 
personal astrologer that she ingested all those pills after 
failing to follow his advice to junk her Frcudian ana- 
lyst altogether, in favor of her Jungian one. (After 
all, it was Jung, not Freud, who admitted that "in 
cases of difficult psychological diagnosis, Y usually get a 
horoscope.”) 

An oil-rich widow flies from Los Angeles to a South- 
western city to ask her astrologer: “How can I live on 
$25,000 a month?” Two hours later, she hands him a 
check for $500 and returns to her 10 servants and 
$1,000,000 manse in Holmby Hills, poorer but presum- 
ly wiser. In nearby Laurel Canyon, a lovely female 
astrologer solemnly tells her actress daughter that her 
chart is propitious for a solo flight to Moscow in a 
small plane. While over in the San Fernando Valley, 
an admitted-homosexual astrologer shakes his head 
ruefully and concludes: “Reagan's trouble is he has 
Scorpio rising!” 

In Santa Barbara, the rich-matron members of the 
Scorpio Birthday Club celebrate an anniversary in the 
town’s classiest beanery. In Los Angeles, Bullock's retails 
a Personal Horoscope for $20, prepared by an IBM/360 
computer; and high-toned Robinson's merchandises 
men's underwear in a splashy zodiac print. On the Costa 
Brava, Salvador Dali hangs an astronomical price tag on 
his 12 zodiacal lithographs. In Monte Carlo, Princess 
Grace throws a Scorpio Ball, which is graced, fittingly, 
by her favorite Hollywood astrologer, At Cape Kennedy, 
invited guests to the second moon shot include some of 
the nation's top-seeded astrologers, selected by NASA. 

In San Francisco, an astrologer tries to contact a “zo- 
diac killer" cryptographically. In Manhattan, Lord & 
Taylor keys a vast ad campaign to “the horoscope in 
fashion.” A Broadway star consults a dime-store astrol- 
oger nightly before the show. ("The audience is going 
to bc rotten tonight, dcary—it's full of Pisccs.") In The 
Wall Street Journal, graphologist Huntington Hartford 
scolds astrology for not paying sufficient attention to 
heredity and environment. Paraphernalia designs the 
zodiac dress; Steuben makes crystal zodiacs; and at 
least one astrologer has become chargeable via credit 
card. Some 16 astroalbums guck up record racks over the 
past Christmas holidays. Women’s Wear Daily devotes 
two full pages to the horoscope's upsurge in high places. 
Vogue finally gives way to competitive pressure and in- 
stalls a resident scere. And Jackie Onassis’ chart ap- 
pears in countless slick magazines around the globe. 

In bookstores everywhere, paperback racks sag with 
planetary pointers ranging from How to Play the Horses 
Horoscopically to Sex in the Stars. Between the sleazy 


movie magazines (many of which carry regular astrol- 
ogy features) and the chic haute couture publications 
(almost all of which do) lics a sargasso of magazines 
devoted exclusively to the subject. Dell alone boasts 
49 horoscope publications, one of which, Horoscope's 
anni cosmic dopesheet, sold more than 8,000,000 
copies last year. 

Some 1200 of the 1750 U.S. daily papers surfeit the 
nation with syndicated sun-sign clichés on love, money 
and health—in that order. (One druidess forecast finan- 
cial and sex difficulties for this writer for the same period 
that another forecast the opposite) And the under- 
ground press is glutted with such graffiti as: “WANTED: 
Male with moon in Aquarius, sun in Sag., Venus in 
Aries, Mars in Cap. From 1927 to 1944. Object: to see 
if astrology works. Dick.” 

In Phocnix, Los Angeles and New York, the singles 
industry uses computers to cast charts as well as to match 
people via their planets. In India, holy men still sit up 
all night, waiting for the world to burn to a cinder or 
vanish like Mu into the celestial sea, as predicted peri- 
odically by Indian astrologers. Both governments of 
Vietnam study astrological charts and even distribute 
astrocalendars when the “aspects” are not too "malefic." 
In Los Angeles, one well-meaning astrologer studies the 
charts of terminal-cancer patients for planetary parallels, 
while another docs regular forecasts for several savings- 
and-loan associations. In Chicago, a major insurance 
company retains an astrologer to study life expectancies. 
Coast to coast, some 30 academies and occult temples, 
such as the Rosicrucians, teach the stuff. In Arizona, a 
renowned astrologer confides that he is deeply troubled 
by the personal future of the Nixons: “I've been watch- 
ing Pat and she doesn't look so good. And Dick's chart 
is bad in relation to his wife. Discretion forbids me from 
saying anything more.” 

In Munich, an astrologer who has counseled some of 
the world’s spangliest names also puzzles over Nixon's 
chart: “The President’s planets in the sign of Capricorn 
give him the ability to organize on a down-to-earth level 
—he is better able to build from a basic structure than 
any other President in recent years. His Virgo rising 
brings an analytical quality that is sometimes mistaken, 
in the case of persons of high office, for being too de- 
tailed and critical. His conjunction of the moon and 
Uranus in the sign of Aquarius, which is also in the 
midheaven of the United States chart, brings him very 
much to the fore in relation to the U.S. and its leader- 
ship in a very worldly sense; and he will do everything 
in his power to keep the U.S. in first place among 
nations of the world. It also places him in a congenial 
position in this new Aquarian Age and, in spite of con- 
servative tendencies, he will do sudden and dramatic 
things that can startle not only people of his own coun- 
try but those of foreign countries. He will always keep 
them guessing. His ricocheting between the conventional 
and the unusual, the formal and the progressive, gives 
him a chance to be of far greater service than if he were 
mired, in a pragmatic sense, in either of these apparent- 
ly contradictory schools of thought.” 

"Ihe soothsaying grandson of an ex-President of the 
U.S. delineates the horoscope of an ex-President, Virgo- 
an Lyndon Baines Johnson. No less than Lady Bird 
herself had supplied the exact moment of birth, with- 
out which no selfrespecting (continued on page 154) 


Jun and gaming rock 
round the clock in 
these sun-drenched 
western pleasure domes 


travel sprawsine across the barren 
valley from which it sprang, Las Ve- 
gas shimmers in the heat, a surreal 
shrine to the gods of opulence and 
good fortune who dwell in its Greco- 
Roman-French-pro I-ponderosa- 
riverboat-neo-neon palaces, where 
they exact tribute from the reverent 
who travel hence on missions of hom- 
age and seduction, Condemned by 
some for its outrageous success of ex 
«ess, ignored by others who seck thei 
pleasure in smaller measure, Las Ve- 
gas is the most persuasive monument 
ever erected to man's inconsolable 
yearning for a wild weekend. At the 
rate of 15,000,000 every year, winners 
and losers from all over the world 
flock to the big money machine 
the desert, driven by the knowledge 
of miracles that actually happen and 
nourished by the faith that one will 
happen to them. In Vegas, all things 
are probable. 

Gaudy, h, incongruous? It's 
that and more. Where else do all the 
restaurants serve breakfast 24 hours 
a day? Where else would a psychia 
trist erect a 30-foot sign outside his 
office? Where else would a doctor 
advertise his calling in a newspaper 
page full of urgent messages from 
hair weavers, system gamblers, exotic 
theologians and eroticunderwé 
merchants? And what other town can 
boast a Mr. Caesar Augustus in the 
phone book? In Vegas, ladies of the 
evening offer customers not only 
counts but free home delivery. You 
can get married there while hanging 
upside down beneath a helicopter, at 
the bottom of a mine shaft, on horse- 
back, on llamaback or on roller 
skates, in a casino or anywhere else 
with a license obtained from the 
Clark (text continued on page 108) 


Nevada's lavish leisure capitals 

fill the night with highpawered neon 
brilliance. Top right: A mantage of the 
south shore of Lake Tahoe, with the 
verdant High Sierras in the back- 
ground. Las Vegas (inset) is a turned-on 
electric aasis in the Mojave Desert. 


Unabashed opulence is the style ct 

Caesor's Paloce, one of the fabled caro- 
vansories on the Vegas Strip. Opposite 
page, tap: An overview of the hotel’s 
lavish gambling cosina, o rendezvous 
for late-blaoming high rallers who don’t 
usually appear until after two a.m. 


Among Los Vegas’ tap topless revues is the 
one ot the Dunes (left, center). At the 
Londmork, two comely noiads (center) 
splosh in the Olympic pool; ever 
diversions include shows starring 
statuesque chorines and such superstars 
as Sinatra ond Sommy Davis Jr. (above). 


Opposite page, bottom: At the Circus 
Circus, go-go dancers compete with 
Siberion tigers, jugglers, acrabats, 
singers and side-show acts for the oten- 
tion of the clientele. Below left: A 
panoramic view of the Circus Circus 
and its frenetic array of entertainments 


Las Vegas’ splashy Folies-Bergére-style 
revues cost more than $750,000 to 
praduce ond toke almost a year of 
planning and rehearsal before presen- 
tation. Tap right: A sensuous sequence 
at the Dunes. Above: A jewel-bedecked 
cost member of Vive Les 


108 


County courthouse. Most of the 
two dozen wedding chapels accept 
credit cards and one of them modest- 
ly guarantees: “We arrange every- 
thing for a beautiful wed nd a 
lasting marriage.” The entire cere- 
mony may be photographed and tape- 
recorded—and perhaps later used as 
evidence in the divorce proceedings 
back at the sime courthouse that is- 
sued the marriage license. Like every- 
thing in town, the courthouse is open 
24 hours a day. 

As a resort, Las Vegas is in a cate- 
gory of its own invention and there- 
fore has no competition. There are 
many fashionable havens around the 
world where gambling, prestigious 
entertainment and all the regalia that 
accompany luxury resort life may be 
found, but as rivals to Vegas, they are 
hardly contenders, At the other re- 
sorts, you may have to fork out for 
membership before you can even 
enter a casino, or you might need a 
passport to prove you aren't a local. 
You can be barred from entrance il 
you aren't wearing a tie and, in some 
cases, the doorman will suggest that 
you get lost if you show up sans din. 
ner jacket. In Vegas, however, there 
are no rules about ties and formals, 
no passports, memberships nor door- 
men. Some casinos don't even have 
doors. 

To most visitors, Vegas is the Str 
a fourmile strand of tinsel on which 
are clustered the glamor hotels in 
whose plushJined wombs headline 
celebrities meet their public. In addi 
tion to its “big room,” every major 
hotel on the Strip has a lounge, where 
the patrons are emertained by second- 
magnitude stars. 

Once upon a time, when gambling 
was the main attraction in Vegas and 
entertaining took sccond place, the 
shows were free and, in some places 
on the Strip, so was the food. Not 
anymore. Today, it can cost a mini- 
mum of $15 to see Sinatra and $7.50 
foraticket (text continued overleaf) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALEXAS URBA 


tahoe 


Lake Tohoe's south shore con turn even 
the dedicated nonathlete into an 
outdoorsman. Three popular daytime 
diversions are golf, boating and water- 
skiing (above); other sporting attrac- 
fions include fishing, hunting, 
motorcycling and, in winter, skiing. 


One of the poshest and most plecsur- 
able spots to stay during o visit to the 
lake’s south shore is Tahoe Keys. A 
$200,000,000, 750-acre voc 
development, Tahoe Keys offers homes 
—such as those pictured below—for 
weekly rentols beginning ot $250. 


Opposite page, top: Sunset in the High 
Sierras signals the end of a romontic 
afternoon of horseback riding along 
mountain trails. Lake Tohoe's night 
clubs don’t speciolize in topless revues, 
only top-level stars. Inset: Shirley 
Bassey performs at the Sahara-Tahoe. 


PLAYBOY 


110 girl found in default 


to Hair, which opened at the Interna 
tional Hotel's theater last December. It 
is still possible to see some shows with- 
out buying a tendollar dinner, and 
lounge entertainment is usually offered 
without minimum or cover; but the era 
of a free night out on the Strip is long 
gone. though by comparison with night- 
club costs elsewhere, Vegas is still a 
remarkable bargair 

Of the 12 biggest hotels on the Strip 
luding the International and 
ark, new arrivals located a block 
below the Strip), all have at least one 
big entertainment room and one lounge; 
and the ulua-high-risers also have a sky 
room for dinner and dancing. This adds 
up to a minimum of 30 shows being 
staged within four miles of one another 
at any given time—many more, if the 
smaller hotels along the Strip and down- 
town are included—which means that 
most people who go to Vegas (the aver- 
c stay is slightly less than three days) 
will find time to see only a fraction of 
the goodies on hand. 

Among those who appeared last year 


were bra Streisand, Dean Martin, 
Frank Sinatra, Johnny Carson, Jack Ben- 
ny, Bob Newh hann Carroll, Bud- 


dy Hacket, Jimmy Durante, Don Ho. 
the Everly Brothers, Fats Domino. Frank- 
ie Laine, Pete Fountain, Danny Kaye, 
Elvis Presley, Dick Shawn, Trini Lopez 
and Bobby Darin. At any given time, a 
visitor may find four extravaganzas filled 
with nudes and bizarre stage effects, two 
Broadway imports, numerous comics, big 
bands, vocal and rock groups, circus acts, 
conjurers, strippers, satirical revues and 
all-night discotheques. 

Not everything in town happens after 
dark, of course. Anyone in search of 
action before sunset can find golf, tennis, 
squash or handball, work out in a gym 
or lounge in the sun, steam and sauna, or 


diving, waterskiing, bo: 

The Las Vegas ^ runs appro 
mately from Easter to November. Acu- 
ally, everything is open all year round, 
but except for the late fall and winter 
holidays, the pace slows down so drastical 
ly alter Thanksgiving that a production 
starring 100 dancers, singers, burning 
houses, sindstorms, camels, colored doves 
d a full orchestra might play to an 
audience of about 12. During the off sea 
son a couple of years ago, one well-known 
recording star had an audience of 11 on 
opening night. 

In season or out, weekends are usually 
the best time for singles; secretai 
line hostesses and coeds flock into town 
from the big Western cities and campuses 
to compete with their professional sisters 
(who work the hotels, mostly in dark bars 
usually known as hookers’ nooks) for un- 
attached males. Though open soliciting is 
iot permitted in Vegas hotels and any 
briskly shuttled 


off the premises, there are nearby counties 
in other parts of Nevada where the oldest 
profession is a legitimate industry and the 
houses are equipped with pools, pool 
les and music. One house at Ash Mead- 
ows has its own airstrip for the conve 
ience of its customers and another does 
business in a huge trailer parked sym- 
bolically between the forks of a road ju 
tion. In either you may be introduced to 
the basket game, a Nevada innovation in 
which a bottomless basket containing a 
bouomless lady is suspended above the 
customer, who lies on his back at ground 
zero. By a dexterous manipulation of 


ropes and pulleys, he soon finds himsel 
conjunction with the aviatrix. 
Lately, and ominously, there hay 


been rumblings that Vegas’ X rating— 
for adults only—is in danger of being 
morally uplifted to something more suit- 
able for family audiences, They say 
Howard Hughes is up to some good. 
Ever since the omnipoteut dropout 
moved into town three years ago on a 
private train, there has been talk of a 
new! improved! cleaner! Las Vegas. 
o far, the only evidence of the cryptic 
crusader's alleged reform is a report that 
he outlawed nudes at a Desert Inn extrav- 
aganza: but the pessimists are convinced 
that even greater sacrilege may follow as 
Hughes expands his holdings in the area. 
He already owns four hotels in addition 
to the Desert Inn: the Sands, the Fro: 
tier, the Landmark, the Castaways, and 
the Silver Slipper saloon and casino; he 
also owns a local TV station, two air- 
ports, a ranch, a regional airline and a 
large piece of southern. Nevada. 

Nobody in Vegas has seen Hughes (or 
will admit to it), bur it is thought that 
he lives at least part of the time in the 
jouse of the Desert Inn; 
firmation of this rumor, the cognoscenti 
point to the fact that the penthouse 
buttons have been removed from the ho. 
tels elevators and replaced with locks. As 
the only enigma in a town that doesn't 
like too many secrets, Hughes has pro- 
vided a rich vein for local comed j- 
“Howard be thy name,” is a popular 
invocation. One gag says he’s planning 
further take-overs with his chief legal ad- 
visor, Judge Crater, But nobody knows 
except Howard, and he’s not telling. 

In his zeal to sanitize Las Vegas, there 
is one “vice” Hughes is unlikely to elimi- 
nate: gambling. The sound of the city is 
the clank and grind of slot machines. 
They are the first thing visitors see upon 
arrival at McCarran airport; they occupy 
more space in casinos than any other 
game; they can digest anything from a 
penny to a fin; and as a gaming invest 
ment, they are probably the worst risk in 
a town that offers long odds on craps, 
blackjack, baccarat, roulette, wheel of for- 
tune, poker, faro, keno and bingo. If you 
don't know the rules, buy a good paper- 
back that explains the odds and steers 


you clear of sucker bets. Craps and black- 
jack bulls can sharpen their technique 
with one of me eight daily free lessons 
given by the Mint Hotel. Call first to 
make a reservation for a class. 

Few industries operate under more 
stringent scrutiny dian Las Vegas gam 
bling. The only cheats in town (“cross 
roaders" in the trade) are customers; 
some of them roll flats (crooked dice), 
withhold cards, create diversions while a 


confederate increases his bet or simply 
steal other players chips. protect 
against thesc various forms of chicanery, 
there is a glass window strip (or a televi- 
sion eye-in-thesky) over the table lay- 
outs from which casino security guards 
can cover the action. Usually, these are put 
to use only when a suspeded cheat is 
playing: they are not m; 

Vegas protects its reputa 
est gambling as passionately as a virgin 
does her innocence, but an inexperi- 
enced visitor can still get wiped out if he 
depends on dealers and. croupiers—as a 
tyro often will—for the most helpful 
advice on his investments on the green 
felt. Rarely, if ever, will they tell him to 
take his winnings and leave while he's 
ahead; though they're not supposed to 
offer counsel, they might suggest instead 
that he double up. take the odds or bet 
the hard-way numbers. The best thing to 
do is learn the rules thoroughly, watch 
how the high rollers bet and do the same 
thing, but on your own scale. If you hit 
a good run and come out ahead, remem- 
ber to either leave a tip or place a bet 
for the guys working the table. You w 
be welcomed back. 

Craps test and most exciting 
game in any casino; it’s also one of the 
best games to play because of the low 
percentage in favor of the house. Careful 
betting can reduce this percentage even 
further. The game has a ritualistic ca- 
dence that is sounded by the croupiers— 
“New shooter coming out . . . yo eleven 
... pay the line . . . coming out aga 

. the point is six . . . bet the hard 
six... loser seven"—and. punctuated by 
the ardent cries of high rollers as they 
heat up the dice for their throw (one 
well-known player taps the dice twice, 
blows on them, kisses them and throws 
with a long, looping underhand) and 
pray aloud for a winning point. 

Many gamblers—even the experts— 
find it hard to leave a table when they're. 
losing, which is one of the reasons gam- 
bling is a profitable business for the 
operators. There are few steadfast rules 
in any game of chance, but one law that 
s more or less consistent in its valid 
is: Stop playing after two consecutive 
Take a walk, have a rest or go 
and play another game and come back 
later, but move away from a losing table. 
A casino owner who used to bet (and 
win) heavily once opined that the best 

(continued on page 166) 


“Will that be cash or charge?” 


SYNOPSIS: Once upon a tme, in the 
Asian country of Chanda, there were the 
picturesque Royal City, a jungle, a king 
who stood 5° 2", a holy man named Buon 
Kong, a lot of hunters up in the moun- 
tains who wore silver collars and rode 
shaggy ponies, some of the most beault- 
ful small brown women in the world— 
and, though nobody ever counted them, 
about 1,000,000 elephants. They are still 
there. But nowadays, there are also Golo- 
nel Kelly, the American military advisor; 
Nadolsky, the Soviet ambassador; Andre- 
as, the Greek hotelkeeper, who does spy 
ing on the side; Tay Vinh, the Norih 
Vietnamese cultural attaché, who has a 
surprisingly expert knowledge of artil- 
lery; Harry Mennan, the cowboy flier; 
Captain Kong Le, who commands the 
Chanda troops; Gharley Dog, who drifts 
in by way of a Galifornia prison farm; 
Marine Master Sergeant Danny Campo, 
who gets lost on his way downtown; 
Coakley and Sumner-Clark, who repre- 
sent the U.S. State Department and the 
British Foreign Office, respectively. And 
along with all of these people, there is 
Dawn, who has no other name and is a 
deaf-mute. She first appeared when some- 
body found her aboard a plane out of 
L.A. carrying a Special Services troupe 
to Saigon. Then Harry Mennan got a 
hurry-up call to fly her out of Vietnam. 
When she stepped from the plane in 
Chanda, all of the men—even the grim 
little North Vietnamese attaché gasped. 
She is impossible to describe—a collage 
of the beauties of many races. Every 
man who watches her has the impression 
that she is giving off secret vibrations 


Part II of a new novel 


By ASA BABER 


for him alone. Dawn is almost enough 
to make one forget that the Russians 
and the Americans are bringing hard- 
ware into Chanda and that a war is 
raging just next door in Vietnam, With 
tension mounting daily, can this colorful 
never-never land of elephants and para 
sols stay neutral and at peace? 


HILARY SUMNER-CLARK enjoyed long lunch- 
cons in the Aubergine Restaurant. Almost 
always, he met with Coakley and the two 
gosiped between courses and bitched 
about government service in Chanda. 

Communication with Chang, the w 
er, was impossible. Sumner-Clark tried to 
explain his order. "No, no, no, Chang, I 
want an English cut to my beef. Thin, 


thin, teeny thin slices. Understand? 
Thine” 
Ch: smiled wildly. “You want rem: 


on srices with food?” 

"No, no! I want my beef sliced like 
lemons.” Sumner-Clark watched the small 
back disappear into the steam of the 
Kitchen. “Really, I suppose he'll come 
back with 
What I'd give for a meal at Simpson's. 
The Aubergine, indeed.” 

For a time, the two drank their Scotch 
in silence. 

Sumner-Clark was right, of course 
The Aubergine was owned by Andreas 
The cook was Chang's father, a wisp of a 
man who claimed to have heen a chef on 
the French Line many years 
wonder which freighter that was, 
ley had joked when he first heard this 
story). The place was pretentious enough 
to attract the foreign-service crowd, how 
ever, There was Western liquor available 
and Andreas made sure that the best of 
the market place found its way into hi 
kitchen. The orders came out confused, 
food poisoning was not unknown and ice 


elephant steak or something. 


in which harry mennan and charley dog save the beautiful dawn from 
a fate worse than death, danny campo tries his hand at pachyderm pro- 
curement and general grider arrives in chanda midst much consternation 


POLYCHROME WOOD SCULPTURE BY BILL BRYAN 


for drinks was unobtainable. But it did 
not matter; it was the only game in town, 
When Coakley and Sumner-Clark com- 
plained, they did so existentially, without 
hope of change or reward. 
ell me something I don't kno 

said Sumner-Clark. 

State secret or just anything?" Coak- 
Icy replied. 

“I know all your state secrets, love.” 

Oh, yes, I'd forgotten. Well, there's 
only one thing I know that you don't 
You see that tree over there? That yel- 
low thing? It's called a shittah tree.” 

Sumner-Clark leaned back in his chair 

‘Dear Mother, I am writing to you 
from under the shade of the shittah 

He stopped his routine abruptly. 
"Do you think we'll ever get out of 
here?" It was their constant question 
They asked it even when they did not 
«are. "Most of the bastards in my grade 
are in Paris or something. 

Coakley drank deeply. “No, 1 think 
this is the dead end for most of us here. 
A community of misfits, really. And 
going to get worse instead of better. 

Sumner4 k nodded. The food came 

ad it wasn’t right at all, but they ate it, 
anyway. 

A silence indicated they both had deep 
thoughts. Coakley finally broke 
airport has been busy. 

“Yes, indeed it has.” 

More people than usual 

"Yes" sighed Sumner-Clark. 
think this place was important.” 

1 suppose any place can be important 
if you want to make it so. 

"Well, not Chanda, for God's sake." 

Coakley smi ii 
"You're thinking what inking, 
aren't you? You know it’s not our busi- 
ness to think that. We're only reporters 
of a sort." 

‘Tell me, O muse, what am I think- 

g? 

T'll tell you. You'll run ri 

id put it into a report, but I'll tell you, 
anyway. And you can mention my name 
to the M. I. group.” 

“I wouldn't," said Sumner- 

You would and you 
thinking that if we're not all careful as 
mice, we could start a war here. 

Sumner-Clark laughed tight! 

most right. What I'm really thi 
that the end of the world mi 
here. Now, isn't d y thought for 
someone of my training?" 

General Grider sits in the warm Vir- 
ginia sun and all of spring comes up 
somewhere in his scrotum. It is seedtime 

d new time. Here on this hill, he is 
king of all he surveys; in a sense, he 
owns the territory. But he has been un- 
easy since (continued on page 126) 413 


ALTHOUGH HORACE GREELEY's famous travel instructions were 
addressed to young men only, Cleveland-born Christine Koren 
corrected the editor's oversight several years ago, when she 
swapped secretarial chores in her home town for the mind- 
enlarging excitement of California's art and couture cultures. 
Soon after her arrival in Los Angeles, the 22-year-old brunette 
found jobs that satisfied her aesthetic predilections and has 
worked at them ever since. On weekends and some evenings, 
she part-times at Pasadena’s Palace Boutique—whcre, she says, 
"the customers are even more fun than the clothes." And from 
nine to five, Chris manages artist Tony Amiry's well-known 
Hollywood art gallery, where she's as likely to sell a painting 
to a famous motion-picture star as to a tourist from Toledo. 
But Chris sees to it that her fast-paced work week doesn't con- 
fine her to a life without leisure. At home in her kitchen, Chris 
is something of an artist herself. Her specialty is preparing 
health-food dishes: "Things like wheat germ, avocado honey 
and papaya juice beat TV dinners any timc. But I admit I'm 
a nut on the subject." Chris also takes maximum advantage of 
the salubrious West Coast climate by going sailing, waterskiing 
or bicyding at every available opportunity. Though bachelor- 
girl Chris cites procrastination as her worst fault, she admits 
she isn't in too big a hurry to meet the man in her life. "I'm 


ERSTWHILE OHIOAN 

CHRIS KOREN SAVORS THE 
PROFITABLE AND PLEASURABLE 
PURSUITS THAT LURED 

HER TO CALIFORNIA 


v 
Whether doing her job or doing her thing, Chris has found the Southern California milieu close to perfect. But she has olso 
discovered that working part time at a busy Pasadena boutique is a costly vocotion for her: "'l'm so wild about clothes," she 
says, “I want to buy more thon I sell." But that's whot makes Chris a good salesgirl, since her enthusiasm is quickly transmitted 


1o the customers. With her dog, luv, in the bike basket, she begins a bumpy four-flight descent from her apartment, 
then pedals to her full-time job at the Amiry Gallery, where, among the paintings, Chris herself is as pretty as a picture. 


"CHEN 


Accepting an invitation to go sailing with Sailing is one of our Playmcle's favorite With Chris at the wheel (below), a contented 
friends off Morina del Rey early one Sunday, sports ond, whether ossisted by her escort — crew—Chris, her roommate, Deena Aren- 
a well-tenned Chris (opposite) makes on in trimming the sheets or enjoying the salt — son, ard their dates—heads for home after 
especially shipshope addition to the crew. oir (above), Chris is eminently see-worthy. — a full day of exhilorction on the high seas. 


still trying to find out all the things 1 am,” she says. “When I do, I'll know the type of mate I’m suited for—and vice versa.” 
Chris feels that, for similar reasons, many young people are waiting a lite longer to get married these days, but she doesn’t 
completely agree with all the things they're doing. “Many kids are trying to find themselves through the drug scene,” she says. 
“But I think there are better ways, and lots of people—I'm one of them—have begun to explore these alternatives over the 
past few years. This fall at UCLA, I intend to study yoga and metaphysics; they have it all over artificial stimulants as a means 
of self-discovery: They discipline the mind has many male admirers who are eager to assist her with her homework, but 
she insists that she’s just in love with Luv—a mostly Maltese pooch who gladly gocs almost everywhere she docs. So would we. 


F 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY BILL ANO MEL HGGE 


MISS MARCH ptavaor's pravmare oF me monm 


Ashore again, the boating party retires to the yacht-club bar. But Chris leaves the group temporarily to spend a few 
quiet moments by the water's edge, watching the sunset of another memorably eventful Colifornio Sundoy. 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


The lonely executive had spent the whole 
evening at a cocktail party complaining to an 
attractive guest about his wife's constant vi 
to her mother. "She's away again tonight," said 
the man. “What would you do if you were in 
my place?" 

"Well, honey," his companion cooed, "let's 
go over to your place and I'll show you." 


We know a fellow who complains that this 
winter has been so cold it takes him 45 minutes 
to get his girlfriend started. 


Then there was the little boy who, after hap- 
pening by his parents’ open bedroom door one 
night, wondered why he had gotten 2 spanking 
for sucking his thumb. 


An American on a business trip to Glasgow 
entered a restaurant and asked the waitress 
what the specialty was. “Roast and rice,” the 
Scottish miss replied in a heavy brogue. 

“You certainly do roll your Rs,” the visitor 
observed. 

“I suppose so," she giggled, beginning to 
blush, "but only when I wear high heels.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines nympho- 
maniac as a girl who believes that it's every man 
for herself. 


The handsome president requested that the 
company psychiatrist further screen the three 
good-looking girls for the job of private secre- 
tary. Deciding to use a standard psychological 
ploy, the gentleman asked each of the appli- 
cants the same question—"How much do two 
and two make?” 

‘The first young thing, a lovely blonde, whis- 
pered, “Four”; the second, a smashing bru- 
nette, responded with “Twenty-two”; while 
the third, a shapely redhead, answered, “Four 
or twenty-tw 

The following day, the consultant stopped 
by the president's office and gave his findings. 
“The first is solid and reliable,” he opined. 
“The second has a vivid imagination but can't 
deal too well with reality. And the third is 
both clever and mature—she being the one 
I'd suggest we hire. What's your decision?” 

“Well,” the boss replied, after 2 moment of 
deep deliberation, “I think I want the one 
with the big boobs’ 


By the middle of his senior year, the worldly 
collegian had dated most of the girls on 
campus. One day, while seated in. the student 
union, he looked up and saw the captain of the 
football team coming toward him, an angry 
scowl on his face. 

"I hear you went out with Susan Fremont,” 
the huge fellow boomed, doubling up his fists. 
“Did you score with her?” 

‘The sophisticated chap hesitated for a mo- 
ment and then answered, “Yes, once.” 
“Well, I'm her new boyfriend,” the gri 
giant announced, “and I don’t dig that at all.” 

‘Come to think of it,” the senior mused, “I 
didn't, either." 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines double joint 
as tea for two. 


The bachelor and his date decided to attend 
a countryclub masquerade ball.dressed in a 
rented cow costume. However, after an hour, 
they grew tired of their tandem togetherness 
and he suggested that they slip outside for 
a breath of fresh air. Still in the costume, the 
twosome was trotting across a nearby field 
when the fellow spotted a huge Hereford bull 
that was preparing to charge. “What are we 
going to do?" quavered his frightened partner 
from her posterior position. 

"Im going to cat some grass,” the lad 
croaked as the thundering hooves came closer. 
“But it sounds like you'd better bend down 
even farther and brace yourself.” 


lily Bam 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines Lesbian 
cocktail lounge as a her-she bar. 


Then there was the persistent actress who made 
it the hard way in Hollywood—she had talent. 


Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the 
dynamic young preacher raised himself to 
full height, lcaned over the pulpit and 
boomed, “Brothers and sisters, if there are any 
among you who have committed adultery, may 
your tongue cleave to the woof of your mow.” 


Heard a good one lately? Send it on a post- 
card io Party Jokes Editor, rpLaysoy, Playboy 
Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


“We've been discovered.” 


accessories 
Bock row, left to right: Stoinless-steel and glass mountaineer’s jug 

keeps ice and liquid separate, by Eico Industries, $26.50. 

Hclicn-mode syphon of stcinless steel, from Apropos, $42.50. 
Bottery-powered Mix 'N Serve cocktail shaker operates by simply 
turing recipe dial to the drink desired, then adding 

ingredients, mix and serve buttons ore pressed and drink is 

automatically dispensed inta waiting glass, from Hammacher Schlemmer, 
$15. Lucite ice bucket with chrame tong-shoped handle, by Etco Industries, 
$30. Lucite and golden stcinless-steel bar set includes knife-apener, 

fork, ber spoon and strciner, 

from Lord & Taylor, $10. Gless À 
drink dispenser, trom Aprapos, 
$37.50. Three decanters in leather 
case, from Lord & Taylor, $20. 


———— 


new wherewithal to help 


Metis 
| 


summon the spirit world 


Aoo 


PHOTOGRAPH EY BILL ARSENAULT 


Front row, left to right: Double-rocks glass with 
chain, $15 for 4, and vodka glass, $6.50 for 4, both 
from Hammacher Schlemmer. Orrefors flute champagne 
gloss, from Bonniers, $3.50. Austrian corkscrew, 
from Abercrombie & Fitch, $15. Orrefors 

crystal deconter, 12 ozs., from Fisher-Bruce, 

$13.50. “Advent” all-purpose bar gloss, 

by Dansk, $3.25. Orrefors crystal liqueur glass, 

1 ez, from Bonniers, $6.50. “Forum” all-purpose 
bor glass, $5.95, ond “Cloud” 

all-purpose bor glass, $5.50, both by Dansk. 
Orrefors crystal liqueur gloss, 1 oz., 

$6, and Orrefors crystol ice 

bucket, $15, both from Fisher-Bruce. 


PLAYBOY 


A Million Elephants (continued from page 113) 


dawn. There are going to be folks judg- 
ing him, barracuda folks like the Senator 
and the chiefs of various staffs. 

The title of the show is tongue twist- 
ing, thought up by an executive without 
rhythm: “Vertical Envelopment and Its 
Application to Guerrilla-Warfare Prin- 
ciples.” 

The scenario has been written and 
practiced. The troops have been on site 
for two weeks. They have been run 
through the mud and vines time and 
time again. Just a few nights ago, Gen- 
eral Grider slept peacefully. Everything, 
he thought then, would go smooth as a 
baboon's ass. But he had reckoned with 
out the frustrations of a newly interested 
Congress. That body very politic had 
decided to send an observer in the per- 
son of the Senator. 

Momentums and directions converge 
on poor General Grider. Spring eases his 
spine only so much. The pressure build- 
ing at the back of his neck tells him 
vaguely that this is a peculiar moment in 
history. He hopes to Christ things shape 
up. 

In the morning sun, the low fog curls 
around the hill that is to be the ultimate 
objective. A bunker 4 la World War 
Two. So what? That was the window 
dressing, the pyrotechnic special planned 
for the ooohs and ahhhs of jans. 
There would be satchel charges galore 
and flame throwers and ye olde napalm. 
‘To the military mind, that final hill is 
Dullsville. 

But the approaches, ah, yes, they are 
not ordinary. 

Jungle palms have been planted and 
rice paddies programed. It is not hard 
to do in Virginia, An entire village of 
thatched roofs and market squares has 
been laid out not more than 1000 meters 
from the VIP observation post. Under- 
brush has been cleared only enough to 
let simple minds and simpler visions 
watch through binoculars and range 
finders as little toy soldiers all covered in. 
stripes pull their shiny tiger suits through 
the heat. 

Ambushes and counterguerrilla games. 
Ingenious as some of the scenario is, the 
general still bridles at how basic things 
have to be made for the money boys who 
control the final decisions. This is not 
c war. TI all form and play, 
remote beyond belief from the real 
thing. 

When the sun hits ten-o'clock high, 
the limousines pull up on the gravel 
road shoulder. Still a trace of the cool 
smell of Virginia pine. Glad hands and 


126 glad throats. Some uneasy shuffling among: 


the lowly colonels and aides. The Senator 
comes forward and he is not what you 
would expect. No foghorn, he in white 
suit and sombrero. Rather, a squinting 
and average city boy. 
"They have dressed the Senator this day 
n Army fatigues. He has been asked to 
wear the hard helmet to impress upon 
him that he is close to danger. He is 
calm and deferential at first, but his eyes 
build glitter through the morning hours. 
A full bird colonel, no better than a 
ky in this crowd, explains with 
pointer and. microphone the purposes of 
this demonstration. The Senator nods as 
if he understands all the lingo: landing 
zone, base of fire, azimuths, targets of 
opportunity, preparations, on-call sup- 
port, ETAs, H and I fire. The words 
drone on, but the Senator has to pose for 
photographs with General Grider. Mutt 
and Jeff the two appear. The Senator is 
hardly tall enough to spit in Grider's 
canteen cup. The general keeps up a 
line of chatter about the weather and 
the day. Not a meaningful word between 
them, 

Finally, all are seated in wooden 
chairs. They look out over the blue haze 
of the valley. The map is to their right, 
so they can check the progres of the 
show. General Grider takes the mike and 
croons the situation mi: , execution. 
He raises his arm in a regal "Let the 
play begin" gesture and somewhere in 
all that brush, someone has been watch- 
ing him, for a mortar round explodes 
purple in the sky and the smoke drifts 
toward earth. Sounds of rifle fire, small 
and distinct as cap pistols, ride across on 
the wind. “This is a live-fre problem,” 
the general repeats, as if everyone's m: 
hood is firmly established by that fact 
alone. 

Squads maneuver on the far horizon. 
‘There seems to be action in every corner 
of the eye. Artillery opens up on the 
ridge line. Airbursts trim trees and scat- 
ter dust like a rainstorm. Close under 
the o.p., a fire team probes a mine field. 
‘They look like children in a sandbox as 
they crawl slowly on their bellies and 
poke bayonets into the dirt around them. 
In the village, the thatched roofs burn 
from white phosphorus mortar shells. A 
simulated ambush on a road curve is put 
10 rout. 

For the Senator's benefit, one of the 
aggressors performs a sky dive that lands 
him right on the hill with the bigwigs: 
but the kid is overwhelmed by green 
faced commandos as he tries to wiggle 
out of his chute. 

Two teams in rubber rafts row across 
an artificial lake and lay demol 


charges in the water obstacles. On the 
fringes of the final objective, bangalore 
torpedoes are set across the rolls of con. 
certina wire. 

All scems to be going well and the 
general breathes a little deeper as he 
talks. He sets up the final situation. 
More men are needed immediately to 
take that bunker. How can we get them? 
Where will they come from? The Sena- 
tor frowns when he thinks about thi 
The general continues to build the dra- 
ma when from the horizon floats what 
looks like a batch of locusts, Moving 
neatly now, they grow larger with a 
sound of power mowers beating the air. 
In the deep part of his head, Grider 
thinks something is amiss. He is not sure 
what. The helicopters seem early. He 
sneaks a look at his watch. They are 
Twamp, twamp. twamp, they pound on 
Grider twists his neck and tries to locate 
his air controller 

Because there is supposed to be an air 
strike on the bunker before the choppers 
are in the area and the sky space will get 
pretty tight if the A-ts come flipping i 
to drop their napalm while the Hueys 
hover and release their troops. That will 
not be pretty, no sir, and General Grider 
feels the shortest moment of panic be. 
fore his training comes back to him and 
he drops the mike and reaches for the 
radio. 

That gesture late, however, for jets are 
screaming down now. They come up 
silent and sneaky and are on top of you 
before you know it. For a Senator, some 
of the fly boys will scrape the deck in 
devil's fashion. This they do, bouncing 
fat bombs across the bunker, leaving 
black smoke and jelly fire for their next 
pass. 

It is a traffic jam, it is, and the chop- 
pers twist away like herd of wild 
cattle. They break their patterns 
launch out y direction they can 
find. The officers on the VIP hill wince 
and grind their jaws and wait for what 
seems to be the inevitable mit 
sion. 

Which never comes, they th 
and just as they are relaxing aga 
just as General Grider takes up his 
canned narration again, one chopper, 
thrown out of the problem area and 
caught in winds and terrain mot of its 
own choosing, hits high-tension wires and 
self to an explosion. It looks no. 
larger from a distance than a little napalm 
dropping. 

Whether or not the Senator sees that 
is debatable. As the bunker is satcheled 
and assaulted, and long after the jets 
have gone back to their base, the med- 
evac choppers fly into the territory. It is 

(continued on page 210) 


nd 


in a 


PLAYBOY PLAYS 
THE STOCK MARKET 


Le kai 


a blue-chip baedeker to help you find your way 


> 


through the land of the bears and the bulls 
article By MICHAEL LAURENCE 


WHEN stock prices were falling so suddenly last 
summer, at least one investor—H. Ross Perot of 
Dallas—wasn't hurting. The few Americans who 
know of Perot probably associate him with 
United We Stand, a nationwide lobby, of which 
he is chairman, that supports President Nixon’s 
policies in Vietnam. (Perot tried unsuccessfully to 
get a planeload of Christmas gilts and food to 
U. S. war prisoners in North Vietnam last Decem- 
ber.) But Perot also wears another hat, which 
makes him a fascinating representative of the 
silent majority for which his organization speaks. 
Simply stated, Perot is the first person in hisiory 
to make a billion dollars in the stock market in a 
single year—a fcat he seems to have completed, 
perhaps significantly, during the moratorium 
month of October 1969. 

True, he didn't go about it in the way an ordi- 
nary investor might; but then, your ordinary 
stock dabbler doesn't usually knock down ten 
figures a year, especially on an initial stake of 
only $1000, which is what Perot began with. And 
it shouldn't matter that Perot's profits are all on 
paper, because the importance of this event is 
symbolic. Here is a man who has accomplished 
what even the most turned-on Wall Street's 
under-30 multimillionaires still regard as fantasy. 

Eight years ago, with his $1000, Perot founded 
Electronic Data Systems Corporation, a company 
that sells computer skills and systems to those who 
need them. His company prospered, and in the 
fall of 1968, Perot took it public. He sold 650,000 
shares at $16.50 each, prudently retaining an- 
other 9,000,000 shares for himself. In a little over 
a year, when eager stock buyers were offering 
$136 a share for E. D.S., Perot found himsel{— 
on paper, anyway—a billionaire-plus, 

It seems fitting that Perot should have com- 
pleted this feat during October, which Mark 
Twain characterized as “one of the peculiarly 
dangerous months to speculate in stocks in." The 


other dangerous months, Twain continued, “are 

january, September, April, November, May, 
March, June, December, August and February.” 
Since Twain lost more in stocks than he could 
earn even as a fantastically successful writer, the 
cynicism that colored his judgment is forgivable. 
Like most writers, he knew little or nothing about 
the stock market. In fact, a variation of the type- 
setting machine in which he invested—and which 
bankrupted him in the 1890s—subsequently 
le millions for investors with a better sense of 
timing. Twain also singled out the wrong month 
to steer clear of the market. As Perot’s experience 
might attest, October happens to be a very good 
month to speculate in stocks in. Most of the de- 
clining markets of the past generation (1946, 1957, 
1960, 1962 and 1966) turned around then, a curi- 
ous coincidence that prompted a veteran Wall 
Street observer to proclaim that “October out- 
ranks all other months as a buying time" for short- 
term stock profits. Perot's good fortune can also be 
cited to confirm the observation—if it needs con- 
firmation—that no single route to riches is swifter 
or more rewarding than the stock market. 

At last count, roughly 27,000,000 Americans 
seemed to agree. These are the investors who (as 
the saying goes) own a share in American indus- 
try. Some of them may have purchased stocks to 
conserve their capital, others to avoid taxes, to 
hedge against inflation or to nail down a decent 
income to sce them through retirement. A very 
few, like Perot, have created their stockholdings as 
an almost unanticipated by-product of their own 
foresight and hard work in forging a corporate 
empire. But the vast majority of stock players 
these days, silent or vociferous, are in the market 
with just one goal: to make money; and, whether 
the market is going up or down, a surprising num- 
ber succeed. 

Stated in its simplest terms, transactions in the 
stock market involve (continued on page 130) 


127 


PLAYBOY 


130 


STOCK MARKET (continued from page 127) 


sheets of paper called shares, or stock, 
representing fractional ownership of a 
corporation. Some companies, of course, 
are privately held; while they have shares 
and shareholders, it's impossible for 
the public to invest in them. But the 
preponderance of the nation’s largest 
companies are publicly held, with owner- 
ship spread among hundreds, thousands or 
cven—in the case of the telephone com- 
pany—millions of shareholders. Compa- 
nies issue stock for one reason, to raise 
money; and loug experience shows that 
money is most easily raised when potential 
investors know they can subsequently sell 
their shares—its to be hoped—for a 
profit. "Thus, the stock market developed: 
to provide a convenient gathering place 
for would-be buyers and sellers. 

Marxist critics of capitalism enjoy 
pointing out that money changing hands 

n the stock market rarely reaches the 
corporations involved, giving the game a 
surrealist irrelevance. This is true, but 
no more useful than observing that. po- 
ker winnings don't usually go to the 
manufacturer of the playing cards. With- 
out a ready market for corporate shares 
(economists call it a liquid market), 
companies could never raise the money 
with which to begin or expand their 
operations. People would never buy a 
stock unless they knew they could ul- 
timately sell it. The liquidity of the 
market place is one of the basic under- 
pinnings of capitalism as we know it, and 
today it is seriously threatened, for the 
first time in history. Mutual funds and 
other huge institutional investors have 
grown so fat that they are finding it 
creasingly difficult (sometimes impossible) 
to sell the large blocks of shares they 
have accumulated. As a consequence, 
jock prices are bouncing around with a 
vehemence that would have been un 
imaginable just a few years ago. But this 
good news for the small investor. The 
market is still liquid enough to accommo- 
date any transaction he is likely to make, 
and the problems that plague the institu- 
tions only create more action—and profit 
—for the individual. 

Before the investor begins playing. 
he's got to learn the rules. To start, he 
needs just two things; money and a 
stockbroker. Both are relatively easy to 
come by these days, but he’s not likely to 
keep either without a third, more elusive 
prerequisite: knowledge. Scraping up 
money and locating a stockbroker will 
be considered further on; but since stock- 
market knowledge is surely the most im- 
portant and difficult of the three, this 
will be considered. first. 

"rhe stock market is actually not one 
market but many. In the U.S., three 
predominate: the New York Stock E: 
change (often called the big board); 
the American Stock Exchange, which 


wadition-minded Wall Streeters like to 
call the curb, because years ago its 
operations were conducted on the curb 
of a sidewalk; and the vast and impor- 
tant overthecounter market, which 
not really a single market at all but a 
collection of stock dealers scattered 
across the country. Shares in most major 
U.S. corporations are bought and sold 
(traded, in Wall Street jargon) on the 
New York Stock Exchange; their younger 
and more speculative competitors show 
up on the curb; and most of the rest, 
comprising tens of thousands of compa- 
nies, large and small, are found over the 
counter. Besides the three major ex- 
changes, there are at least 15 others, 
the most important being the handful 
of markets serving Detroit, Boston, Pitts- 
burgh, Baltimore, Chicago, San Francis- 
co and their respective environs. These 
smaller exchanges feature stocks whose 
appeal is regional, rather than national, 
but they also deal in some shares that are 
sold on the larger exchanges. In addition, 
a feisty and relatively new outfit called 
the National Stock Exchange, also lo- 
cated in New York, is trying to establish 
a market in shares even more speculative 
than those sold on the curb, 

Just as there are several types of stock 
market, so are there several types of 
stock. By far the most common is called 
just that—common stock. When inves- 
tors talk about the vicissitudes of their 
stocks, 99 times out of 100, they mean 
common stocks. The holders of a compa- 
ny's common stock, m toto, are the own- 
ers of the company. They get to vote in 
the firm's affairs (one share, one yore) 
and they participate in the company’s 
profits in a similar fashion. From its 
profits, the company might pay cash 
dividends—which means that the stock- 
holder gets a check, usually quarterly— 
or it might retain its profits to finance 
new factories and otherwise expand its 
operation. In cither case, if the company 
prospers, the share owner should, too. 
His dividends, of course, are immedi 
ately spendable, and the company’s re- 
tained profits should increase the value 
of his shares, which means he should re- 
ceive that much more when he sells. 

The "should" are necessary because 
often the share owner docs not gain or 
lose in direct proportion to the fortunes 
of the company in which he owns shares. 
‘This is because the value of a share is 
set not by the issuing corporation but by 
the buyers and sellers who make up the 
market place. A share of stock, like 
everything else, is worth only what an- 
other person will pay for it. This is the 
challenge and the excitement of the 
stock market, and all the techniques of 
stock playing—there are as many tech- 
niques as players—ultimately rest on this 
premise: that when the time comes to 


sell, the investor will find someone who, 
for one reason or another, is willing to 
purchase his shares at a price higher 
than the investor originally paid for 
them. In other words, when all is said 
and done, stock-market success is largely 
a matter of mass psychology, h the 
investor trying to guess just what sort of 
stocks future buyers will be willing to 
pay more for. 

He might guess successfully for any 
number of reasons. Perhaps he buys 
shares at a point in history when pote 
tial stock buyers are gloomy about the 
future of the economy. Such an attitude 
prevailed most strikingly in the spring of 
1982, though it was repeated as recently 
as 1966 and again last year. If public 
fears prove unfounded, then the value of 
many shares will rise. More typically, the 
successful investment will involve an as- 
sessment not of the entire economy but 
of the fortunes of a particular firm. Such 
stocks may involve companies whose 
profits an investor correctly divines are 
about to rise markedly; they might also 
volve firms that he was right to feel 
stand to benefit from unexpected out- 
breaks of war or peace; those that he 
accurately guesses will profit from new 
discoveries; or those that, for any other 
reason, he presciently senses will seem 
more attractive to stock buyers at some 
point in the foreseeable future. Knowl- 
edge of the future is all that’s required. 
But ce the future unknowable, 
knowledge of what's currently happening 
in business, in the economy and in the 
world is a workable substitute, as long as 
the investor never forgets that all the 
statistics in the Department of La- 
bor or The Wall Street Journal can still 
prove ruinous unless he has an equally 
good knowledge of people; because it is 
people, not statistics, to whom he must 
ultimately sell his shares. 

No matter to whom he sells, his 
chances of making a profit are good, 
even excellent. This would sound like a 
journalists generalization if it weren't 
supported by hard fact. In a remarkable 
study conducted at the University of 
Chicago a few years apo, Professors Law. 
rence Fisher and James Lorie, aided by a 
huge computer, evaluated the perform 
ance of every common stock traded on 
the New York Stock Exchange between. 
1926 and 1965. The study embraced 
1856 stocks and 57,000,000 possible 
transactions, representing every different. 
big-board investment that could have 
been made, held or liquidated at the 
end of each month during the 39 years 
programmed. The results must have 
surprised even Merrill Lynch, Pierce, 
Fenner & Smith, the nation's largest 
brokerage firm, which financed the ve 
ture. Assuming reinvestment of divi- 
dends and subtracting brokerage fees at 
both ends of every transaction (an ex- 
pense that most studies conveniently 

(continued on page 221) 


THE 
SAME 

TO 

YOU 
DOUBLED 


fiction 
ByROBERT SHECKLEY 


what good is it to be 
granted three wishes when 
our worst enemy gets more 
of everything you ask for? 


IN NEW york, it never fails, the doorbell 
rings just when you've plopped down 
onto the couch for a well-deserved snooze. 
Now, a person of character would say, 
“To hell with that, a man's home is his 
castle and they can slide any telegrams 
under the door." But if you're like Edel- 
stein, not particularly strong on character, 
then you think to yourself that maybe 
it’s the blonde from 12C, who has come 
up to borrow a jar of chili powder. Or 
it could even be some crazy film producer 
who wants to make a movie based on the 
letters you've been sending your mother 
in Santa Monica. (And why not; don't 
they make movies out of worse material 
than that?) 

Yet this time, Edelstein had really de- 
cided not to answer the bell. Lying on 
the couch, his eyes still closed, he called 
out, "I don't want any." 

"Yes you do," a voice from the other 
side of the door replied. 

“I've got all the encyclopedias, brushes 
and waterless cookery I need,” Edelstein 
called back wearily. “Whatever you've got, 
T've got it already. 

“Look,” the voice said, "I'm nor sell- 
ing anything. I want to give you some- 
thing.” 

Edelstein smiled the thin, sour smile 
of the New Yorker who knows that if 
someone made him a gift of a package of 
genuine, unmarked $20 bills, he'd still 
somehow end up having to pay for it. 

“If it's free,” Edelstein answered, “then 
1 definitely can't afford it.” 

"But I mean really free,” the voice 
said. “I mean free chat it won't cost you 
anything now or ever.” 

“I'm not (continued on page 194) 


NLUSTRATION BY TERESA FASOUNC 


A colorful line-up of sporty and informal 
foulweather friends. Umbrellas, above, 
from lefi to right: Oversized nylon casual 
style with bicycle-grip wooden handle, $12; 
rally-flag model with whangee handle, 
$16.50; rayon Union Jack brolly with Malac- 
«a handle, $15; nylon tartan with leather- 
covered handle, $15; and multicolored 
nylon with natural rustic wood handle, 
$15; all fram Uncle Sam's Umbrella Shop. 


SUCK STILS & 
JOLLY BROLLIES 


a swinging supporting cast 


of showstopping 
canes and umbrellas 


Hail the conquering cab heiler. Below, left 
to right: Ebony walking stick with chrome- 
plated head, $25, and crutch-handled 
rock-maple cane, $10, both from Uncle 
Sam's Umbrella Shop. Antique wand of 
carved brass set with turquoise stanes, 
from Indio, about $350; German-silver 
eagle'sheod cane of ebonized copper 
beech, $45; 19th Century cane with gold- 
plated head and ebony shaft, about $17! 

and carved-ivory-headed rattan cone, 
about $155; all fram Boserup House of 
Canes. Olivewood tribunaltype walking 
stick, from Uncle Sam's Umbrella Shop, $15. 


the anit-establashment: 
tis precepts and its programs 
for radical reform 


article 
By JULES SIEGEL 


IN THE CROWDED coffee shop of the Celar 
Rapids airport, Thomas Emmett Hay 
den, 29. founder of SDS and, according 
to one Iowa state senator, "a known 
Communist,” was waiting for the winter 
weather to clear, so that his plane could 
leave for Chicago 

At O'Hare field, he would meet briefly 
with one of the lawyers defending him 
against indictments then being prepared 
for the allegedly criminal mischics he 
had committed during the great Chicago 
confrontations of the summer of 1968 
Then he would get on another jet and 
base in Oakland 


return to his hon 


to do his part in the San Francisco State 
College student-faculty strike 

On the runway, a United Boeing 727 
sat hunched in a dense fog thar covered 
most of the nation, It was a dark, dull, 
unclean miasma lacquering another layer 
of frost on snowdrilts evidently left over 
from the last ice age. At ten yards, the 


world disappeared into a white blur 

By contrast, Hayden's face was sharp 
and vivid, impatient, itching to be gone 
Whe the skin was not hidden by a 


dark goatee 


i mustache, it was # hor 


pink, flushing almost to red. The gray eyes 


radiated pain, sorrow and shame, as if 
1 


cir owne just returned from a fact 
finding mission on skid row 

"Look at the man sitting behind me, 
he said. A bald fatneck, wearing thiek 
rimless glasses, was reading a newspaper 
He was wearing a dark-blue suit that 
could have been made by a prison tailor 


He might have been « traveling enforcer 
on his way to collect souls whose con 
tracts had run out. He did not look like 
a nice person 

"Sights like that make me a litle para 
noid sometimes,” Hayden said, à grim 
edge of whimsy in his voice. A little para 
noid? ‘Tom Hayden was Mr. Paranoia. In 
his case, it was a sign of mental health 
He had every reason to be afraid, He was 
x 


imm 


around the o 


itry crying out for 
1 change. All the 
enemies of (continued on page 140) 


e and radi 


campus conseroatism: 
ils strength and its strategy 
for preserving order 


article 
By GEORGE FOX 


Tr campus of Southern Hlinois Unive 
sity at Edwardsville might have bcen 
deliberately created as a monument t9 

v Left cliché about the sterility 
cational establishmen 
s apo, it consists of 
lored. ultramodem 
middle 


own in the 


have craali-land 
»bitable planet g 
Americans for Freedom, the nation 


largest organization of right-wing college 

! ose it as the site for its Mid 
ern regional conference 

For two days YAF delegates (ror 

| T athered in a hal on the 

ad floor of the student in. Dur 

ing onc h ned to à 

T ith a fixed smile 

ver a sp the Governments 

failure to adequately prepare for nuclear 

tack, discussing world annihilation as 


{ she were reciting a recipe for chocolate 
After a half-hour break, thes 


turned to hear a retired general advo: 


1 Vietnam. 
he said. “Yor 
€ battle to the 
unalyzed the 


men in the audience were 
art, shorthaired and 


ind dad im business suit 


€ girls wore miniskirts. After 
the last session of the day, the ourol 


urned to their rooms in 


t new but already decaying Holiday Inn 


r the camp The motel is next to 


It was a perfect picture in every detail 
X battery of SDS propagandisis couldn't 
have drawn a better one. And, like many 
perfect. pictures, it was totally deceptive 
Bo member of YAF's Michigan dele 


1 while both 


red to a frie 


ere applauding the speech by Major 
General Thomas C. Layne (U, S. Amy 


guy i really full of shit.” 

‘The image of college conservatives as 
brainwashed, middle-class squares out to 
abolish the 20th Century is rapidly being 
eroded—and the New Left may be re- 
sponsible. For years, YAF chapters exist- 
ed on most campuses as tiny discussion 
groups, unnoticed and often ridiculed. 
The peak of their activity was the oc 
asional distribution of badly written 
pamphlets denouncing Social Securit 
East-West trade, the minimum wage, big 
government restrictions on capitalism and 
other traditional ogres of the right. The 
iow-almost-continuous wave of riots and 
strikes hitting major universities has 
changed all that. “Every time the lett 
takes over a building, we pick up more 
members,” says Randal Teague, YAF's 
executive director. “The moderate stu- 
dent—the guy who just wants to get an 
education—has nowhere to turn but to 
us. We're the only legitimate group 
that’s able to challenge the SDS and the 


PLAYBOY 


leuging is being 
done with the New Left's own weapons. 
When groups of moderates at Stanfor 
Columbia, Wisconsin and other schools 


versity buildings captured by militants, 

the local YAF chapters were usually 

behind the action. One YAF chapter or- 
zed a blue-power movement, distri 

g thousands of blank blue buttons 

rm bands symbolizing resistance to 


and 
the SDS, ("Governor Reagan out in Cali- 


fornia wears a blue-power button when- 
ever he's on TV," Teague revealed 
proudly, then. frowned. "Of course, it 
doesn't mean much to people who don't 
have a color set") At YAF's national 
headquarters in Washington, half-a-dozen 
people work full time, mailing out post- 
crs and bumper stickers bearing slogans 
such as FHE NEW LEFT IS REVOLTING and 
UP AGAINST THE WALL, COMMIES. YAF 
even has a favorite industry to hate, pick- 
eting IBM campus recruiters in the same 
manner that SDS harasses representatives 
of Dow Chemical. IBM is accused of 
selling militarily useful computers to the 
Communist bloc. 

YAF leaders ist that the group ab- 
stains from extralegal acts, no matter 
how tempting. (Randal Teague: “You 
can't fight anarchy with more anarchy.") 
But it doesn't always work out that way 
n practice. Last year, at the Newark 
branch of Rutgers University, YAF mem- 
bers came within minutes of triggering a 
violent battle between the Black Pan- 
thers and a white vigilante group. Rut- 
gers at Newark occupies the most volatile 
territory of any American campus. It is 
literally a no man’s land between the 
Cental Ward—a vast Negro slum still 

maimed by a 1967 riot that left 27 people 
dead—and the North Ward, populated 
chiefly by lower-middle-class Italian Amer- 
198 icans. The North Ward is the power base 


of city councilman Anthony Imperiale, 
the rotund creator of an armed "citizens 
committce” dedicated to protecting the 
neighborhood from Negro invaders 

The leader of Newark's YAF—and 
also college chairman for the entire state 
—was Ralph Fucetola, a 24-year.old law 
student. A few months earlier, militants 
had seized a campus building to drama- 
tize their demands for a black-studies 
program and open enrollment of Ne- 
groes. “They were in Conklin Hall for 
three days, just about shutting down the 
school" Fucetola recalled. “Finally, 
YAF rounded up enough moderate stu- 
dents to take the building back. But 
we hesitated, because the Black Panthers 
the Cental Ward—they really have a 
ready to move in 


see Tony Imperiale. He's really a very 
moderate guy, once you get to know 
him. Tony said if the Panthers came on 
campus, he'd send over 500 volunteers 
from his people. We were all set to go 
when the administration heard about it 
and gave in to the militants. They were 
hunting for an excuse, anyway. They 
really don’t have any guts." He shook 
head ruefully. “I guess, in a way, we 
were partly responsible for the blacks 
winning. 

YAF spokesmen make a special effort 
to emphasize that the organization is not 
racially prejudiced, as its opponents usu- 
ally charge. “We took a survey and only 
four percent of our members were for 
George Wallace in the last clection, 
Randal Teague said. The claim is, for 
the most part, an honest one. YAF pub- 
lications scrupulously avoid even hinting 
at racial malice in their attacks on black 
militants, blasting their tactics rather 
than their demands. But individual 
members are often insensitive to the 
Negro's real situation in American life. 
Although not guilty of bigotry, many 
YAF leaders can safely be accused of 
lack of imagination. 

An example was the "Polish student 
union" rally held at the University of 
Louisville. Its organizer was YAF's then— 
Kentucky state chairman, Brad Evans, a 
23-year-old ex-Marine majoring in fore 
studies. Huge, boisterous, a former var- 
sity football player, Evans speaks with 
the self mocking toughness of à man who 
nows no one in his right mind will ever 
take a swing at “The black student 
union was really raising hell,” he said, 
laughing. “They wanted all kinds of 
wild things. Five out of the ten members 
on the school's board of trustees should 
be Negro, stuff like that. We answered 
by holding a ‘Polish student union’ rally, 
pushing Polish power. You know— 
what's good for the blacks is good for 
the Poles. Probably aren't six Poles in all 
of Kentucky. But we got out a crowd of 
800 white students. The blacks and the 
SDS really blew thei d 


In 1968, the national membership of 
YAF was under 30,000. The figure is now 
51,000 and is still growing. Paradoxical- 
ly, Randal Teague admits this abrupt 
emergence from obscurity has had some 
unexpected results. “To win over mod- 
erate students, we've had to become 
more moderate ourselves,” he claims. 
“The Wallace b 
at it, is beneficial. It's helped u 
rid of the weirdos and kooks. 
Wallace business” was the culmi 
of a bitterly fought internal contli 
began during the 1968 Presidential cam- 
paign, when the editors of The New 
Guard, YAF's monthly magazine, refused 
to accept ads from Youth for Wallace. 
The decision prompted thousands of 
Southern members to bolt the group— 
and led to the formation of the National 
Youth Alliance, created as an alternative 
to YAF. Now, a resolution condemning 
the NYA as racist was being submitted at 
each of the seven 1969 regional confer- 
ences. Ie passed at Edwardsville by a 65- 
to-10 vote. (A few weeks later, it was 
publicly revealed that the NYA had been 
taken over by the Liberty Lobby, a 
rightist cult described by the late Drew 
Pearson as neo-Nazi. Ironically, ar the 
very moment the Edwardsville delegates 
were voting to condemn the NYA for 
racism, several smiling girls in the back 
of the hall were passing out literature 
supporting Ian Smith's white-supremacist 
government in Rhodesia. The pamphlets 
were published by Friends of Rhodesia, 
another Liberty Lobby front.) 

Most YAF leaders dismiss the NYA 
with contempt, predicting that it will 
soon be out of business This attitude 
isn't shared by Irwin Suall, an official of 
the Anti-Defamation League, which has 
compiled a file on the group. “It’s def- 
itely a Liberty Lobby front, but they'll 
it,” he said. “Liberty Lobby 
by Willis Carto, a kind of gray eminence 
of the anti-Negro, anti-Semitic right. The 
real danger isn't in the NYA itself but in 
the nonpolitical kids they might inflame. 
You know, jocks and fraternity boys— 
the kind who, when they get fed up 
enough with New Left tactics, may be 
come violent. So far, no one's ever orga 
ized them. 

Last spring, dozens of such vigilante 
outfits sprang up on riot-torn campuses. 
At the University of Wisconsin, they 
called themselves the Hayakawas, after 
the SDS-busting president of San Francis. 
co State College. Black militants on the 
campus claim that roving bands of Ha 
kawas beat up and attempted to rape 
two Negro female students. The Univer- 
sity of Bridgeport in Connecticut spawned 
the American Eagles. The Fagles allegedly 
remained active after the New Left 
strike died down, continuing to terrorize 
students they considered “too radical. 

(continued on page 176) 


THERE, IN THE TEMPLE OF TUVA, 
JERRY COULD FEEL THAT LIFE 
WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN 


fiction By KEN W. PURDY 0 searnex’s breath 
was hot in his car, her voice hissed in her teeth. She 
buried her hand in his hair, jerked his head up. 

"Watch!" she whispered. "Learn!" 

The fat man sitting cross-legged under the ruby lamp was 
nude. His voice reached out like a long sti 

“Kat is the light and the way,” he chanted. “I, Tuva, 
am the provider of kat.” 

“You, Tuva, O Father, are the provider of kat,” 30 voices sang. 

This mad litany would go on, Heather had told 
Jerry Reuter, for at least half an hour, longer if the Tuva 
willed it. Then, she said, he would be initiated 
and the wonders of kat revealed to him, 

“Pot's for children,” she had said. "Acid is for squarcheads. 
Kat takes you to the real world.” 

"The way of kat," the Tuva rumbled, 
Paired, cross-legged on their double cu: 
the congregation gave it back to him. 

“The leaf is life, there is no othe 

“Life is the leaf, there is no other. 

On either side of the Tuva's dais, a ceramic cylinder 
held a bouquet of whips: short stiff riding crops, thin black 
dog whips, sole-leather paddles, cats, thongs, black, white, 
long, short. Brackish incense smoke drifted under the ceiling. 
White drapes squared the room and behind them somewhere 
was a door, Reuter knew, but his hands were tied, the 
leash looped around Heather Thompson's wrist. He 
remembered his first step toward this room. He had said to 
Heather, “I don't go to church, but I'm a practicing Christian." 

"How can a grown man say anything so silly?" she'd said. 
"Are you some kind of moron?" 

“Are you going to marry a moron?" he'd said, laughing. 

No, she'd said, she was not. No moron, no squarehead, 
nobody hopelessly unenlightened. 

“How can you be a practicing anything if you don’t practice 
in?” she'd said. "Besides, Jesus Christ wasn’t a Christian, he was 
a Tuvan, everybody knows that! Christ was the first Tuvan!" 

Thus, willy-nilly, Jerry Reuter had come to Tuva 
the Provider and to kat, the forever-frecing African leaf. 

“A kat wip,” Heather had said, "is a wwenty-fourhour trip. 
‘Twelve hours to go, twelve to come back. Then, we'll 
know. We'll know if you're worthy. We'll know if you can 
be received into Tuva.” 

Silence. The litany had ended: "Kat, O and O and O kat!” 

"You understand, Jerry, dear." Heather had said, 

"that the flesh must first be put down, if the spirit is to rise. 
And I have to beat you, because I'm your guide and sponsor.” 

Trussed on his knees like a roasting fowl, he marveled 
at the flailing enthusiasm with which she swung the thong. 
He mumbled into his mouth, as the Tuva fed him the rough 
fagots of kat. He chewed, in desperation, while Heather, 
chewing, whistled the leather to him; and in the fullness 
of short time, all became one in the oneness of kat, he 
was in a lavender-mottled tunnel, deafened with the mad 
crump-crunch in front, the ziss-thunk-scream behind; 
but at the very white-hot monocular end of it, rounded 
on the lens, he could see, clear as egg white, Guaranty Trust 
of Boston and, nestled inside, the little bright toy in the 
Cracker Jack box, Heather's $20,000,000, give or take a couple 
of hundred thousand. 

“Forgive me, Father,” he whispered through the stale leaves 
crumbling in his mouth, “for I know only too goddamned 
well what I do. I have sinned, I am sinning, I shall sin. 
Forgive me, Father.” 


the only way." 
s. bare as bones. 


139 


PLAYBOY 


140 


REVOLUTION a from page 135) 


change were waiting for him to slip and 
fall, so they could eat him alive. 

"Tom Hayden was The Revolutionary. 
He was The Anarchist. He was The 
Hunted Man. His phone was tapped. His 
mail was read. He was watched. Only the 
night before, he had drunk whiskey with 
a man from the University of South 
Dakota who confessed under the in- 
fluence of the alcohol that he was keep- 
ing a dossier on him for the CIA. 

Hayden had gone to Iowa to partici- 
pate in a symposium on student power 
at the Univer: of Iowa in lowa City. 
For this, he was paid $500 plus expenses 
He would rather have stayed in San 
Francisco, where he could be at the cen- 
ter of the action. 

“I don't know exactly what student 
power means,” Hayden told the 2000 
young people attending the first session 
of a twoday conference. “It sounds kind 
of quaint to people in the Bay Area, 
where every day San Francisco State and, 
in the past five or six days, Berkeley begin 
to resemble Tokyo University, with 
people on their way up to the campus not 
to go to class but carrying helmets, their 
faces greascd, mecting with the offcampus 
allies of the adminisuration—the com- 
bined police forces of the Bay Area—for 
two or three hours and then going home. 

“Yesterday, there was a five-hour bat- 
tle. Six pigs were beaten. Five students. I 
think there were 12 arrests. So 1 feel a 
little out of my mind being here. 1 find 
it hard to speak in a calm and quiet way 
about student power, but, since Presi- 
dent Nixon has advised us not to shout 
but to speak quietly, I want to try. 

“There are other people here who may 
‘want to speak in different ways and they 
should. I welcome disruptions of speeches, 
especially from podiums like this." 

During the next two days, Hayden 
got the disruptions he had invited. 
Speakers were interrupted. Local radicals 
made long, complicated and unauthorized 
speeches. Foul language was used. State 
legislators professed shock. 

Governor Robert D, Ray, according to 
an A. P. dispatch, told the legislators that 
they reacted properly, but he added, “I 
think at a time like this, instead of doing 
something rash, people should keep cool 
heads." He said he would not like to see 
legislators give students a rallying point 
by overreacting to the incidents. Al- 
though people do not like filthy lan- 
guage, he explained, it exists anyway. He 
said students need the freedom to hear 
“firsthand how bad these people are.” 
Ray called actions by extreme radicals 
“goofy.” He expressed confidence that 
the majority of the students at the Uni- 
versity of Iowa are good people who 
would rather get an education than listen 
to dirty talk, 

"I'm really disappointed at the condi- 


tion of the left here,” Hayden com- 
plained privately. It was not active 
enough, he said. 

At the end of the conference, as the 
final question-and-answer period was be- 
ginning, a tear-gas grenade was set off in 
the hall by person or persons unknown. 
Otherwise, it was a tame affair, compared 
with what was going on in California 
and what soon would be spreading to 
campuses all across the country. 

“The United States is going through a 
period of revolutionary collapse, revolu- 
tionary crisis,” Hayden said. “Some new 
basis for organizing this society and 
other societies has to be found. The 
values of puritan individualism, of rac- 
ism and white supremacy, of militarism 
are outmoded in the new age of which 
we are the children. They are not just 
outmoded in the abstract sense, but liter- 
ally outmoded, because if they are pur- 
sued, it means destruction. 

"It seems to me that, as complicated and 
muddy as they are, the new protest move- 
ments in this country are the only move- 
ments that embody the possibility of a fu- 
ture, because they have abandoned these 
values and are searching for new ones.” 

The most talented students reject 
America, said De Vere Pentony, a former 
deputy president of San Francisco State 
and no great champion of protest. “The 
question today is not whether society can 
accept them but whether they can accept 
society. The student cry for power ex- 
presses a basic disgust with things as they 
are and a growing disbelief in American 
institutions.” 

“I am here to tell you the truth,” said 
Harry Edwards, who organized the black 
athletes’ boycott of the 1968 Summer 
Olympics. "Ihe system is rotten. The 
system is what must be changed.” The 
first three rows were filled with black 
people, some of them wearing Black 
Panther berets. When Edwards had first 
taken his place at the lectern, they stood 
in a block and raised the clenched-fist 
salute of the militant. 

“America is a hypocritical country,” 
Edwards said. “We have bought this hy- 
pocrisy for over 350 years. We have 
bought it through slavery, blood, sweat, 
tears and hope. We are no longer asking 
or begging for anything from white 
America. We are demanding it 

We are demanding it. On this intransi- 
gent note, America was notified early in 
1969 that a new decade of conflict was 
about to begin. The Sixties were rough. 
The Seventies could be rougher yet. As 
the nation approached the 200th anni- 
versary of its independence, tough, young 
black and white radicals appeared to be 
calling for history to repeat itself. What 
was once the movement began to be called 
the revolution. 

"American Revolution 1969" was the 


title of a special issue of Rolling Stone, a 
San Francisco tabloid more usually con- 
cemed with rock-'n'-roll music. In the. 
same week, Time called its essay “The 
Dangers of Playing at Revolution." In 
Chicago. columnist Murray Kempton, on 
trial with other delegates to the Demo- 
cratic Convention who had refused to 
obey police orders to call off a march, 
was asked to explain why he had used 
the word revolt in a column he had writ- 
ten about the incident. 

Anyone in the media could have ex- 
plained it to the prosecutor. The word 
has a nice ring to it, urgently symbolic of 
change. Revolution in the usage of con- 
temporary American communication is 
"terrific." It has no real content. There 
seems to be some feeling among the 
young that it is time to put meaning 
back into the cliché, 

"During pleasant nights in communes 
in San Francisco and Colorado," Michael 
Rossman wrote in Rolling Stone, “I 
watch friends oiling guns and learning 
how to load magazines. .. . People are 
swiping dynamite, industrial saborage 
mounts unreported in the press.” 

In another Rolling Stone article, Black 
Panther minister of education George 
Mason Murray wrote, “The only brother 
we have today is the brother who will 
help us make the revolution. Having 
black skin has nothing to do with being a 
freedom fighter. The standards are uni- 
versal; what man will use the gun as 
Huey did?” 

Huey is Huey P. Newton, minister of 
defense of the Black Panther Party. He 
was convicted last year of manslaughter 
in connection with a shoot-out between 
Panthers and police in which an Oak- 
land officer was killed. 

Interviewed by The Movement, a San 
Francisco-based radical newspaper, he 
said, “We refuse to remain slaves. We'd 
rather be dead. We realize that we are 
going up against a highly technical coun 
ty and we realize that they are not only 
paper tigers, as Mao says, but real tigers, 
too, because they have the ability to 
slaughter many people. We know that 
the enemy is very powerful and that our 
manhood is at stake, but we feel it 
necessary to be victorious in regaining 
oursclves, regaining our manhood. Either 
we will do this or we won't have any 
freedom. Either we will win or wc will 
die trying to win." 

Georgia state representative Julian 
Bond told Mademoiselle editor Joanna 
Romer, "The good thing the Panthers 
have done is that they organized a group 
of young men who've never been organ- 
ized before, people on the street. 

“If they succeed in controlling the 
police, as they seem to have done in 
Oakland to some degree—by following 
them; by in effect policing the police—if 

(continued on page 185) 


142 


She never intended to be an actress, says 20-year-old Barbi Benton; but 
one thing led to another from the first day that the former Sacramento 
beauty queen and UCLA coed showed up for work as an extra on the 
set of Editor-Publisher Hugh M. Hefner's TV series, Playboy After Dark. 
To her surprise, Barbi found herself going out with Hefner that night. He soon 
became her steady escort; she graced the magazine twice, starting with last 
July’s cover; and it wasn’t long before she came to the attention of director 
Will Tremper, who was looking for a star for his film—How Did a Nice Girl 
Like You Get into This Business? That, against all odds, is how it happened. 


how did a nice girl like you get into this business? 


1 
3 
i 
i 
| 
1 
H 
3 
i 
| 


Barbi's first film, shot in seven major cities on two continents, details the 
odyssey of a girl who, after a series of misfortunes, finally meets the right 
man and opts for matrimony. "She's basically innocent," says Barbi, "and 
that's the way | am. That's why I identify with her, though | would never let 
myself be duped as she does. | got very involved with her story and had 
no problem crying when the script called for it" Does Barbi, like the girl 
she portrays, wish to marry? “Well, Hef doesn’t want to right now, and 
neither do I. Marriage makes you feel secure and it's right for raising chil- 
dren—but for now, ours is a romantic, mutual-discovery relationship.” 


17 


148 


With three more movie roles on tap—in a Western, a Napoleonic romance 
and an upcoming Playboy Production—Barbi will be spending much of the 
foreseeable future before the cameras. Her only qualm about her new 
profession concerns the workday, which often runs from five a.m. until eve- 
ning: An outdoor girl by nature, Barbi enjoys a wide variety of sports, from 
swimming and surfing to skiing—she even managed to get indoor-oriented 
Hefner out on the ski slopes last winter at Aspen and the Lake Geneva Playboy 
Club. Their romance, Barbi believes, all adds up to a beautifully improbable 
modern fairy tale—with Barbi perfectly cast as the ingenuous ingenue. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILLI 


food By THOMAS MARIO 


THE INTELLIGENT HOST knows better than to 
judge a food by its name; he recognizes that 
hash—the kind you can serve your guests 
without fear of a bust—has no rival, be it 
creamy potage or luscious crepe, in providing 
sustained gustatory comfort. Certain foods, 
such as the tender green stalks of the year's 
first asparagus, are a joy to the eye; some, 
such as wild rice or Italian white truffles, 
are craved for their unusually exquisite 
flavor. But the right hash can encompass 
all these things and provide assurance, es- 
pecially around the month of March, that 
all’s right with the world—at least when hash 
is served. To men sloughing off the after- 
effects of the night before, what finer balm 
could possibly be offered than a hot chicken 
hash simmered in cream and oloroso sherry? 


At midnight suppers, hash is invariably the 


FREAK-OUT 


playboy takes pleasure in turning 
you on to the uncommon delights 
of a dish that has been too long 
consigned to the commonplace 


first food to be enjoyed. It's one of the dishes 
that guests find equally manageable in stand- 
ing. sitting or lounging positions. Hosts, 
alert to their guests’ appetites, always make 
sure to provide second and third helpings 
for a hash-hungry crowd around a bullet 
table. As a dining custom, hash antedates 
the brunch by centuries, flourishing long 
before the invention of the fork. But as 
brunches these days become more and more 
a way of weekend partying, hashes are of 
fered in ever-richer variety on cozy Sunday- 
morning tables 

Over the years, hash has miraculously 
survived its ill-chosen name to become one 


of the great kitchen classics. The word— 
from the French kache, meaning hatchet or 
ax—at one time was the signal for the cook 
to perform a hatchet job on all odds and 
ends in his larder, tossing scraps together 
into a hybrid mixture that seldom could be 
analyzed. Joseph Addison, a man not nor- 
mally at a loss for words, writing in the 
Tatler in 1709, told how “I passed my 
Eye over several hashes, which 1 do not 
know the names of," implying that his pal- 
ate would have been equally mystified. 
Today, hash is a delightful concoction 
usually made from a single meat, poultry or 
seafood. No master hand in the kitchen will 
iry to come up (continued on page 171) 


SCULPTURE: TOM SIMPSON / PHOTOGRAPH: BILL APSENAULT 


> 


pil. 
WA donde £ 


ees 


die. vj 


\ eg 


PLAYBOY 


152 


e UT 


Get? 
“Frankly, Brother Dominick, your case appears to be without 
precedent, but it seems unlikely that you can remain a monk.” 


A 


how rau-mahora wooed her husband 


IT WAS DURING the siege of Taklat, when 
island was set against island, when men 
slaughtered men for tribute and glory 
that Rau-mahora confronted her father. 
For seven days, the pcople of the pa of 
Ngati-ama had drunk only mango juice 
and coconut milk, and they thirsted. 
Now, on the seventh day, Rau-mahora 
spoke to her father, Pu-arika, chief of the 
Ngati-ama, speaking thus: 

“My father, the men of Baliga lay 
siege to us and heads now roll in the 
surf beyond our walls. We have not 
enough warriors to kill them all, nor 
they enough to storm us, yet the siege 
must be lifted. What cannot be done with 
force must be done with guile. Hear my 
plan, Puarika, chief of the Ngati-ama;" 

As Rau-mahora unfolded her plan, the 
chief chuckled, then laughed; but when 
she had concluded, he shook his head. 
“It is too dangerous, Rau-mahora, my 
youngest daughter. Atsu-gi would kill 
you.” 

“At least, then, taunt him with it, 
Rau-mahora urged. 

Pu-arika thought long about the plan, 
then put on his sacred ormolu feathers 
and regal necklace of cowrie shells to 
restrain the enemy spears, As he mount 
ed to the top of the stout wall built of 
ks set with pointed bamboo 
-mahora climbed with him. 
She had polished her body with the oil 
of the coconut until she shone like a 
white cliff in the moonlight, 

i," Pu-arika called down, “you 
are not a warrior. You are but a blower 
of wind. You are an eater of fish dung.” 

Anger came into the face of Atsugi as 
he heard the words of Pu-arika and saw 
the lewd motions Rau-mahora was mak- 
ing with her polished body. “Even my 
daughter, whose breasts are not yet fully 
formed, could best you in combat,” Pu- 
arika mocked. 

Avsu-gi spit on the sand to show his 
contempt for such childish insults. “I 
will fight any warrior of the Ngati-ama 
and kill him before your eyes," he yelled. 
“Send him forth.” 

a hesitated while he looked at 
umahora; yet he 
knew that the thing must be done. 

“Will you fight whom I choose! 

“Anyone,” Atsugi growled, “though 
he be ten stones high.” 

“Be carcful, my daughter,” Puarika 
warned as he bade the gate be opened so 
that Rau-mahora might descend and slip 
through. 

When Atsugi saw Rau-mahora com- 
ing toward him, removing her grass skirt, 
he swelle h anger as does the ty- 
phoon. “I will fight your warriors,” he 
yelled. "Why does your daughter leave 
your paz” 

Before the words had left his throat, 
Rau-mahora had grasped his head and 
tossed him to the ground. As he made to 


rise, her hard toes kicked him in his ribs 
and stomach. 

"You are a fish bladder filled with foul 
smells," Rau-mahora yelled. With a roar, 
Atsugi scrambled to his feet and 
grabbed her waist Over and over they 
rolled, with Rau-mahora slipping from 
the embrace of At-su-gi as does a wet fish 
from a hand. He tried not to show it, 
but Atsuy was astonished at thc 
smoothness and quickness of her slim 
limbs, and even more amazed that as 
their legs wound together, unwelcome 
sensations began to stir within him. He 
had been too long away from women 
and his body betrayed him. Sensing his 
ed feelings, Raumahora. threw him 
to the ground and pinned his shoulders. 
He could have tossed her off with no 
more than a heave of his hips, but the 

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD HOLLAND 


from a Polynesian folk tale 


Ribald Classic 


unwelcome sensations in his loins held 
him captive to the earth. Rau-mahora 
was t 
herself 
the will to fight. 

Some time clapsed before enough en- 
ergy flowed back into the body of Atsugi 
to toss Rau-mahora from and wres- 
tle her to the earth. But again, his body 
betrayed him. While he straddled her, 
she drained his strength once more. 
After a time, Rau-mahora gathered the 
strength that had been At-su-gi’s and used 
it to roll him over, only to draw his 
strength from him yet once more. 

As Atsugi lay exhausted on the sand, 
Rawmahora jumped from him and ran 
back through the gate. 

The moon had risen before she ven- 
tured out again. Atsu-gi lay sleeping on 
the sand but, hearing her footsteps, 
raised himself up and prepared to kill 
her. 

"Great bag of wind," Rau-mahora 
called softly, “will you dare wrestle me 
again?" 

"I will have no more of your tricks," 
he growled. 

To his surprise, she allowed him to 
catch her ankle and pull her down. In- 
stead of wrestling, however, she began to 
rub her nose along his neck. With a sigh, 
Atsu-gi permitted the pleasant sensa- 
tions to flow through his body. His body 
relaxed, then he closed his eyes. He 
opened them only when he felt a knife 
of shark's bone against his neck, which 
Rau-mahora was rubbing with her nose. 
Three men of the pa stood behind him. 
Helpless to do anything else, he allowed 
himself to be bound up and carried into 
ihe village like a pig to be roasted. 

"Now," said Pu-arika, “we will kill you 
at our leisure and toss your body to the 
sharks so your men may see how fare 


said Rau-mahora. "I would 
bag of wind for my husband. A 
nd cannot make war against his 
wife's people. Do you agree, great smelly 
one?” 

"Never" growled Ats 
your tricks.” 

A spear point touched Ai stom- 
ach. "I will see one more trick," Atsu-gi 
said hastily, "but do not think you can 
forever outwit me.” 

True to his word, Atsugi sent a mes- 
senger for his men and Pu-arika opened 
the gate. That night, Rau-mahora sat on 
one side of her father and At-su-gi on 
the other. After they had feasted on wild 
boar and pompano and mango and pa- 
paya and taro, there was dancing and 
singing and Atsugi’s men stole away to 
wrestle with the maidens of the pa of 
Ngati-ama. 

And Rau-mahora bore Atsu-gi two sons, 
who became Lalla-pi-dongo. the Mighty 
Chief, and Ti-miko-pani, the Bringer 
of Peace. 


“I curse 


—Retold by Bob Lunch EB 159 


PLAYBOY 


154 ments of human 1 


SWINGING ON THE STARS conned from page 101) 


money, etc). He must consider the 


astrologer can read the cosmic radi: 
tions: "Self-driving character, an execu- 
tive eccentricity that is not queerness 
or unbalance but, rather, is power. A 
remarkable facility for intuition and in- 
sight which he is unable to use, because 
he does not trust spooky things But a 
fine green line to Pluto keeps him con- 
stantly in touch with the people; and a 
finc blue line to Uranus in the house of 
play makes him a superb showman. Yet 
his Jupiter in Leo makes it seem logical 
to shake the big stick, and this proved to 
be his downfall. He believed ‘might 
makes right. 

And so it goes, astrology ad infinitum 
and often ad nauseam, too. Is it some neo- 
Mesoporamian madness, this cosmic hang- 
up that currendy grips the psyches of 
an estimated 40,000,000 Americans, from 
hippies to highbrows, socialites to solar- 
flare scientists? Or is it a serious study, 
grounded in pure spherical trigonom- 
etry, of the correspondences between 
man and celestial movements that, in 
the favored lingo of America's 5000-odd 
astrologers, "works"? Whichever, what- 
ever, the starshine is providing the energy 
for an astrological renaissance that was 
launched (and is primarily sustained) by 
the young, for whom astrology is a quasi- 
spiritual aid in their wistful search for 
selfhood. "To them, astrologers 
priests of the dawning Aqua 

The late Dartmouth Engl 
and former editor of Horoscope, Grant 
Lewi, has said: “Astrology is ‘believed 
in’ by a lot of people who know practi- 
cally nothing about it; and it is ‘dis 
believed in’ by even more who know 
absolutely nothing about it.” Learning 
about it is dismayingly difficult, and the 
lore is as contradictory and as variable 
as it is large, but the heart of the system 
—the horoscope—is simple, at least in 
concept: It is nothing more than a map 
or clock of the heavens, as seen from the 
arth. Astrologer Ruth Hale Oliver calls 
the horoscope “a diagram of potentiali 
ties"—as good a definition as any. Since 
most astrologers believe events and tend- 
cndes are predestined by stellar forces 
in motion at bi:th, thc traditio horo- 
scope, known as a natal chart, shows the 
positions of the planets and the sym- 
bolic signs as they appear from the earth 
at the exact moment the child first in- 
hales; and the person whose horoscope 
is under study is known as a “native.” 

When reading a horoscope, the serious 
astrologer must study and synthesize a 
mind-boggling array of factors: the pos 
tions and meanings of the two lights (the 
su al life force, and the moon, or 
life process, both of which represent end- 
Jess things astrologically); the eight planets 
(Venus is love, Mercury is mind, Ju; 
is vision, etc); the 12 signs of the zodiac; 
the 12 houses (which rule all the depart- 
: personality, family, 


or v 


sex 
all-important ascendant, or rising sign, 
which is the degree of the zodiac on the 
eastern horizon at the moment of birth; 
which planets were in which signs and 
houses and what were the aspects or geo- 
metrical relationships (conjunction, sex- 
tile, square, trine or opposition) of the 
constanly moving planets. Obviously, all 
these peculiar factors combine and influ- 
ence one another in numbcerless different 
ways. "In one chart alone, there are 
roughly ten-raised-to-the-26th-power possi- 
ble combinations of qualities,” says Argen- 
tine astrologer Carlos Baravelle. "Even 
twins are entirely different, being several 
minutes apart. One might have 29 degrees 
of Aries on the ascendant, the other the 
first degree of Taurus 

If he wishes to project a horoscope into 
the future, the astrologer must execute a 
complex maneuver called "taking transits 
and progressions,” which at its simplest is 
a comparison of the birth horoscope with 
a new chart of the skies at any moment 
that interests the native, and then make 
an interpretation of the interactions be- 
tween the two. As he did for the natal 
chart, the astrologer consults his ephem- 
eris, an astronomical almanac listing ce- 
lestial positions from 1890 well into the 
future. Small wonder, then, that astrology 
is nowhere close to being an exact science, 
or that the average astrologer—who ideal- 
ly should be versed in astronomy, math, 
mythology, ancient symbolism, 
chology and good common sense—i 
derstood only by another. 

But once over the cusps and combusts, 
trines and transits, astrology can be fun, 
instructive and possibly even efficacious. 
It all depends on the integrity and skill 
of the seer and on the native's attitude, 
if not his celestial arrangement. As once- 
skeptical Henry Miller put it: “Astrology 
does not offer an explanation of the laws 
of the universe, What it docs, to put 
it in simplest terms, is to show us that 
there is a rhythm to the universe and 
that man's own lile partakes of this 
rhythm." And if man doesn't exactly roll 
with the cosmic rock, he may still be 
pleasantly mesmerized by the inane opti- 
mism of his daily forecast. (“Those who 
really care want you, not money.”) When 
McCalls editor Shana Alexander accepted 
the Los Angeles Times's Woman of the 
Year Award from one of that paper's star 
columnists, she said: "You are my second 
favorite columnist on the Times. My first 
is Carroll Righter, who tells me every 
morning that something nice is going to 
appen." 

At 70, Carroll Righter, fondly know: 

to his disciples as Pappy, reaches the 
widest audience (about 330 newspapers 
world-wi ng astrologer and, 
to the envy and despair of his colleagues, 
has the most socially prominent clientele 
since Nostradamus served the French 


court. Potent people call him at all hours 
from every corner of the globe, but “I 
always remember my charts and keep 
current aspects by my bed,” says Righter. 

Mrs. Norman Chandler consults him 
on the most propitious times to soak the 
rich for her charities. Governor Reagan 
set his swearing-in ceremony (12:30 A-M.) 
by Pappys planetary clocks. Lawyers 
loathe him for advising clients to sign 
contracts at god-awful hours (Susan. Hay- 
ward signed one at 3:47 At), and he is 
the bête noire of Hollywood obsteuicians, 
whose delivery plans are often thwarted by 
Pappy's charts. Righter also determines 
the most favorable time to conceive and 
is proud “to have been responsible for 
quite a few children,” having planet- 
plotted the conceptions, for example, of 
all four of Marlene Dietrich's grand- 
children, 

Though Pappy has old money, a law 
degree and a patrician heritage, it was 
Marlene who gave him the thrust he 
needed to swell the starry with the 
big green. When she told him of her 
plans to retire years ago, he predicted 
that she was on the verge of a great new 
career. He also advised her to stay away 
from the smdio on a cei the 
spects and angles were disharmonious.” 
She went anyway, tripped over a toy fire 
engine and broke her ankle. That tore it. 
From then on, Pappy's word has been the 
gospel of the stars. He has made 133 ce- 
lestially charted, transcontinental round 
trips, all to consult clients, and tossed 
16? consecutive zodiac parties with food, 
drinks and decor themed to the sun sign 
of the moment. Sometimes the decor is 
live: Righter produced walking, talking 
twins for a Gemini blowout. a real horse 
for a Sag party, a live bull for a Taurus 
do, a crocodile for Scorpio, two goats for 
Capricorn and a lion for the now-fablcd. 
Leo bash at a beach club in Sant 
Monica. The lion broke away from its 
two liveried keepers, toppled over a few 
guests, but stopped cold before Rhonda 
Fleming—“anather Leo, of course"—got 
the vapors and had to be carried home 
nket. 


in a b 


logical hypochondríac;" 
with the huge success of a 
(Righter recommended | then-unknown 
writer Paul Henn and author Erich 
M 
hadn't "worked w 
died in 1941, when 14 European doctors 
e him six months to live, When Hil- 
degarde Nell's career sagged in Holly- 
wood, Pappy dispatched her to Munich, 
where she has scorched the screen ever 
since, And had a famous actress flown 
out of St-Tropez the day 
nay, she'd have gone down on the p 
that killed prize fighter Marcel C 
Pappy also advised Clark Gable when 
to marry Kay Spreckels; but some other 
(continued on page 180) 


h hi 


a heart-warming tale of unswerving loyalty, unselfish love, enduring virtues, eter- 
nal verities and noble sentiments, told with homespun humility and simple faith 


Jiction By WARNER LAW  amone rur tocar coter of truly important writers, of which I am 
a leading member, it’s leg ndary that Mark Twain once said that since books about Lincoln are 
proverbially best sellers, and since stories about doctors are always popular, and since Americans love 
to read about dogs, a story about Lincoln's doctor's dog must surely make a mint; and Twain said he 
was going to write it as soon as he could think of a story about the confounded dog 

After considerable research, I can't find that Mark Twain ever said this at all. But it's a widely 
printed anonymous witticism, and it sounds so much like T n that if he didn't say it, he should 
have, so let's just accept it as a genuine Mark Twain quotation. 

Since he never wrote the story, it's obvious that he had troubles with it. I can guess why. It wasn't 
the dog at all. There's a vital ingredient missing and, of all writers, Mark Twain should have spotted 


RLUSTRATION BY SEYMOUR FLEISCHMAN 


PLAYBOY 


156 


it. There is not a single freckle-faced 
American youngster with an engaging 
smile indicated in this story! 

Once this sorry omission has been cor- 
rected. the story practically writes itself. 
And I have written it, in Mark Twain's 
honor. Its nor that I want to make a 
mint—it's just that in this day of cynical 
literature, there's a crying need for old. 
hioned storics that have true and heart- 

g qualities and happy, upbeat 

endings, and here it i 
It was the fourth of M 
ashíngton, Abraham Lincoln was being 
augurated [or his second term. 
ack in Springfield. Illinois, young 
Sam Haskins was alone in his parents 
Lowe on a quiet, tree-lined street. 
n was the son of Dr. Amos Haskins, 
who was Abraham Lincoln's kindly fami! 
dector and who had delivered all four of 
the Lincoln boys. The Lincolns loved 
Dr. Haskins, and so the President had 
invited him and Mrs. Haskins to come to 
Washington and be his guests at the 
Inauguration. 

Sam was 12 and an only child. He was 
disappointed at not being asked to Wash- 
ington; but since he was a frecklefaced 
boy with ging smile, he was happy 
because at least his mother and father 
woull be having a fine time. His aunt 
Sally had come down from Chicago to 
look after Sam for the week his parents 
would be away. 

Sam was a healthy, well-behaved boy, 
who seldom got into mischief. His only 
minor compla 
were strict vegeta 
served in the Haskins 
was very fond of steaks 
stews, and when he was nine, he'd stolen 
a meat pie fom a neighbor woman's 
window ledge and his father had birched 
him for it Sam knew he'd deserved the 
whipping and loved his parents just the 
me, for he was that kind of boy. 
wt to his parents, Sam loved his 
dog, who was a loyable mongrel named 
Buddy. He was so lovable that everyone 
loved him—with the exception of Aunt 
Sally. 

On this fourth of March, Aunt Sally 
had gone out to do some shopping and 
m was alone in the house. Suddenly, 
was a banging on the front door. 
m went and opened it, to find Mr. 
Robbins standing there. He was their 
next-door neighbor and he was in 
absolute funy. 

“That damn dog of yours just chewed 
up my little y boy!” he shouted at 
Sam. “He bit him in the calf!” 

Buddy!?" Sam exclaimed in disbelief, 
“No! Not Buddy! He loves your little 
boy! He'd never h 

“I found my litde boy bleeding from 
bites in his leg! And Buddy was stand- 
ing over him and there was blood 


nt was that his parents 
so meat was never 


ans, 


around his mouth! He could have 
killed my little boy! He's a vicious dog 
and I'm going to sce that he's de- 
stroyed!” Mr, Robbins stormed off. 

A little later, Buddy slunk in the back 
door, looking guilty. Sam saw that there 
was, indeed, blood around his mouth, 
But he was sure it wasn't the blood of 
the Robbins boy, for Buddy was simply 
not that kind of dog. 

Later on, Aunt Sally came home and 
Sam told her all about this, with tears in 
his eyes. 

“L never did like that vicious mon- 
grel! nt Sally said, "Mr. Robbins is 
right! He should be destroyed 

"But he’s mot a vicious mongrel!” 
Sam protested. 

“There's always a first time!” Aunt 
Sally said. 

Sam realized that he was not going to 
get too much support from Aunt Sally. 
He didn’t know what to do. He couldn't 
get in touch with his parents, because he 
didn’t know where in Washington they 
were staying. 

Late that afterncon, Con 
son came to Sam's hou 
kindly ma 
Reluctantly, he told Sam that Mr. Rob- 
bins was bound and determined to have 
Buddy destroyed and that a court hear- 
ing was scheduled before kindly old 
Judge Lockwood the following afternoon 
and that Sam would have to appear and 
bring Buddy. 

Now, Sam was desperate. He didn't 
know to whom to turn. Then he remem 
bered Abraham Lincoln, who had always 
been so kind to him and who had sat 
Sam on his knee and told him amusing 
stories full of wisdom. 

Sam ran down to the local telegraph 
office. The only person on duty was a 
young telegrapher who was about six 
years older than Sam. His name was 
Tom Edison and Sam knew that one 
day, Tom would amount to something. 
Young Tom was kindly and sympathized 
with Sam's problem and, between them, 
they composed a telegram: 


PRESIDENT 
WASHINGTON. 


ABRAHAM — LINCOLI 
1 AM SON OF DR. AMOS 
Y ARE TRYING TO PUT 
IY DOG TO DEATH FOR SOMETHING 
HE DID NOT DO. PLEASE HELP ME. SAM. 
HASKINS, 


Young Tom rattled off the message on 
his key at lightning speed, but both boys 
wondered if Mr. Lincoln would ever 
actually sce it himself, He would be a 
very busy man now, with the Inaugura- 
tion and all. 

That night, Sam held Buddy in his 
arms and ied himself to sleep. 

Early the next morning, there was a 
banging on the Haskins front door. Sam 
ran down and opened it, to find young 


Tom Edison with a telegram addressed 
to Sam. It read: 


GO TO HFRNDON'S OFFICE AND TELL 
THEM 1 WANT THEM TO HELP YOU. 
A. LINCOLN. 


Sam knew that William Henry Hern- 
don had been Lincoln's law partner for 
many years. As soon as he had dressed 
and gulped down some breakfast, Sam 
ran downtown to the law offices of Mr. 
Herndon. There, he found that He 
don and almost all the others in the 
fairly large firm had gone to Washington 
for the Inauguration. The only man 
the office was a kindly gentleman named 
he was a very fine 
attorney. Sam showed him the telegram 
from President Lincoln, and Mr. O'Reilly 
said he would be in court that afternoon 
nd that he was a crackerjack orator and 
was sure he could talk the judge into 
g Buddy's life. 
at afternoon, dressed in his Sunday 
best and accompanied by Aunt Sall 
and with Buddy on a long rope, Sam set 
out for the Springfield courthouse. It was 
a long walk and Sam had somehow in- 
jured his right leg and it became sore, 
and Sam was limping 

Outside the courthouse, he took off his 


cap and siluted the American flag that 
flew over the building and then paid his 


respects to George Washington, whose 
statue stood in the courthouse square. 

In the courtroom, Sam sat down at the 
defense table, next to Mr. O'Reilly. Bud- 
dy curled up at Sam's feet. Sam noticed 
that Mr. O'Reilly smelled of whiskey and 
seemed half asleep. 

Then kindly old Judge Lockwood 
came in to preside over this informal 
hearing. Mr. Robbins told the judge 
what he'd seen with his own cycs and 
demanded that this vicious dog be de- 
stroyed before he bit any more innocent 
little children. 

Mr. O Reilly turned to Sam and whis- 
pered thi “I fear we don't have a 
chance, "This Robbins is the 
judge's brother: qm 

"But that's not fai 


m cried. 

the judge shouted, 
banging his gavel. Then he said, “Is there 
anyone here who has the effrontery to 
speak in defense of this miserable cur?” 

At these words, Buddy got to his feet 
and growled and siared in the judge's 
direction, and his hair rose on his back. 
Sam nudged Mr. O'Reilly, "Say some- 
thing! Do something!” But Mr. O'Reilly's 
head had fallen forward onto his chest 
and he was snoring, in a drunken stupor. 

"Well?" the judge demanded. 

“I want to speak in defense of my dog, 
Buddy,” Sam said bravely and rose to his 
feet. He addressed the judge, telling him 
how he had raised Buddy from a puppy 
and describing his gentle nature and 
assuring the judge that it was impossible 

(continued on page 209) 


beauty, personality, talent and charm stepped to the fore 


as 19 hutch honeys vied to become 1970's cottontail queen 


THEY CAME FROM ALL POINTS of the 
compass—from London and Los An- 
geles, New Orleans and New York, 
Jamaica, Denver, Montreal and a 
dozen other Bunny bastions—to con- 
verge on the stage of the Penthouse 
showroom in the Playboy Club- 
Hotel at Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, 
for this moment of truth: selection 
of the Playboy Clubs’ Bunny of the 
Year for 1970. All 19 finalists, repre- 
senting each Club in the Playboy 


empire, had just gone through four 
months of competition, topped by an 
exciting final week in Chicago and 
Lake Geneva that was one third frol- 
ic, two thirds preparation for the 
Pageant. 

Late in July, keyholders started 
balloting for the most beautiful 
Bunny in their local Clubs. Competi- 
tion quickened, with each cottontail 
campaigning enthusiastically, until 
the close of voting in September. In 


Playboy Clubs throughout the world, 
panels of celebrity judges met early 
in October to choose each hutch's 
Bunny of the Year from a list of the 
five top vote getters. The Bunnies 
who emerged victorious from this 
round were those who competed in 
the elaborate November 16 pageant 
staged at Lake Geneva by Ed Pierce, 
a veteran producer of the Miss Uni- 
verse and Miss U.S. A. spectacles. 
The Bunny beauty pageant was the 


158 


ned as 
a yearlong observance of the Playboy 
Clubs’ tenth anniversary. After an intro- 
ductory ensemble song-and-dance number, 
backed by orchestra and chorus, each 
Bunny was spotlighted for individual 
introductions. 

Up from Atlanta came Bunny Sara 
Atkinson, « blu 
with the Club since 1965, No stranger to 
Lake Geneva, she served as Training 
Bunny when the Club-Hotel in Wisconsin 
was coaching its own complement of cot- 
toniails. Sara, a rabid football fan, lives 
and dies with the fortunes of Atlanta’s 
N.F. L. Falcons 

Baltimore's Gina Byrams came 
as a cottontail without a Club; the Mary- 
land huch was burned out in a mid- 
summer fire, But it would take more than 


opening spectacular in what is pla 


yal blonde who's been 


most 


a setback like that to turn off Gina's 
spirit. A modern-jazz buff. she’s studied 
dancing and has been a teacher's aide. 
Bunny Suzy Kramer, who's the pro- 
verbial five foot, two, with eyes of blue. 
represented Playboy of Boston. After com- 
pleting two years at the Chandler School 
for Women in Boston, Suzy went to work 


as an executive secreta 


for a catering 
firm but soon gave it up for a couontail 
1. “I like the freedom that working as 
Bunny affords,” she says. Her favorite 
getaway site is the Bahamas, where her 
estate interests, 
red Bunny Carol Imhof, a 
ve of Chicago, represented the Windy 
. where the first link in the entire 
Playboy Club key chain was forged 
len years ago. While attending Southern 
Illinois University at Carbondale, Carol 


Bunny Nanci Boyles of Lake Geneva demon- 
strates, in the two photos at the top of the 
opposite page, why members of the Chicago 
Press Photographers’ Association named her 
"most photogenic” cf the 19 entries in the 
Playboy Clubs’ first annual Bunny Becuty 
Contest. In the compotition for Bunny of the 
Yeor—1970, Nanci came in third runner-up. 
Other finalists, each representing one of 
the Clubs or Club-Hotels in the Playboy 
empire, included, for left, London's viva- 
cious Deana Turner; left, Denver's diminutive 
blonde Jackie Rhodes; and, below left, 
lively Pat Duffel from the Phoenix Club. 
Atlonta’s Sara Atkinson, above, hos honey 
tresses ond a Southern accent to match. 
Jude Willbrand, above right, came from St. 
louis to enter the contest ond headed for 
California afterward, bound for stewardess 
training and duty on Hugh Hefner's new jet. 
The beauty seen in and out cf Bunny cos- 
tume at right is Chicago's Carol Imhof, who 
finished in a tie for first runner-up in 
the pageant. Cheri ond Chere, Wright and 
Davis, below left and right, represented New 
York and Los Angeles, respectively. The Hol- 
lywood entrant wes voted "most populer.” 


Fatale of the Month” 
by the student newspaper; her self-image 
is somewhat different, however: “I like to 
roughhouse,” she says, Fellow cottontails 
will attest to that; Carol was one of the 
ringleaders in wh 
known as the pillow fight of the century, 
which took place in the Lake Geneva 
Glub-Hotel late one night during the 
week of the final pageant 

Another blueeyed blonde was Cincin- 
natis Viki Casto, a former newspaper- 
woman from Beckley, West Virginia, 
who has her eye firmly fixed on the New 
York stage. “I like everything about the 
theater, cven working on costumes and 
scenery,” she sa 

Petite Jackie Rhodes (4 feet, 11 inches, 
93 pounds) came down from the Mile- 
High City to be Denver's representative 


t has since become 


159 


160 


in the contest. Jackie raises litters of 
Siamese cats and plans a career as a crim- 
inal lawyer. 

From Detroit came Bunny Renée Bur- 
ton, a bright-eyed brunette who, in keep- 
with the prime concern of that city, 
dotes on sports cars. During breaks in the 
rehearsal schedule 
was often found just one more 
look" at the 1970 MGB on display as one 
of the prizes to be won by the Bunny of 
ihe Ycar. 

Softvoiced Bev Rilcy, candidate from 
the Jamaica Playboy Club-Hotel, flew up 
from the Caribbean hoping fo 
cold. weather—ideally, with snow, which 
she'd never seen. (The weatherman 
obliged with a few flakes.) This diminu- 
tive Jamaican Bunny, who stands 5 fee 
1 inch in her body-stocking feet, was 


taste of 


a D 


born in Kingston and has spent all her 
life on the island. 

The first thing one notices about Kan- 
sas City’s raverrhaired Bra hrist is 
her flashing, jetblack eyes. Brandi, a 
five-year favorite with Missouri keyhold- 
ers, numbers cats, candles and the occult 
among her interests; she plans to open a 
pet shop someday. 
Participating in a beauty pageant was 
almost old hat for Nanci Boyles, Lake 
Geneva's entrant. Back home in Louisi- 
ana, where she first became a Bunny, 
Nanci was named Miss New Orleans and. 
ended up as first alternate to Miss Loui- 
siana of 1966 (she's also held a few other 
titles—among them, Miss Press Club, Miss 
Astro and Sweetheart of ‘Tau Kappa 
Epsilon). 

For London's Deana Turner, becoming 


Taking a rore moment to relax is Baltimore 
Bunny Gina Byrams, above, wha hed been 
working in the Chicago Club since last sum- 
mer, after a fire put the Baltimore hutch 
temporarily out of action. At far left, Jan 
Hornback enjoys a splash in the surf, back 
home in Miami. Bunny Sccttie Scott of New 
Orleans demonstrates her skill ot Bumper 
Pool at left; below, Boston’s Suzy Kramer 
{also a Bumper-Pool Bunny in her Beantown 
bailiwick) is caught in o reflective moment. 
Two views of Roxanne Rozon of Montreal 
share the top of the opposite page with 
Bunny-costumed Peggy Berry of Son Francis- 
cc. Both girls were among the seven chosen 
as finalists, and Roxanne tied with Chicago's 
Carel Imhof for first runner-up in the compe- 
tition. The beauty in bed at right is Cincin- 
nati’s Viki Casto; at far right is the Detroit 
contestant, brunette Renée Burton. Seen in 
her native habitat, below right, Bev Riley was 
chosen by keyholders ond guests to represent 
the Jamaica Playboy Club-Hotel; and, ct for 
right below, is Kansas City's Brandi Christ, 
an animol lover who, in this jungle-motif 
costume, looks as if she could bring out the 
beast in any red-blooded piavsor reader. 


a finalist in the Bunny Beauty Contest 
provided a chance to mect the celebrity 
who's been at the top of her list of most 
admired men for some time: Hugh Hef. 
ner, (The verdict: “He's charming ) An- 
other bonus of the trip for this young 
lady was the opportunity to pursue her 
equestrian hobby with some of the fine 
horseflesh stabled at the Lake Geneva 
resort, 

ads naturally turn when Chere Da 
six feet tall in her Bunny he 
enters a room. Los Angeles Bunny Chere 
may have entered your living mom, via 
television: she's appeared on several com 


mercials in recent months, (She can 
in the Don Knotts movie The 
Love God.) 

Bunny Jan Hornback’s deep suntan 
was a giveaway; in November, that almost 
always means Miami, Jan migrated to 


161 


The wi Baltimore's lovely Gina Byroms, 
who'll reign over the Tenth Anniversary Year 
celebrations af The Playboy Club with the 
title Bunny of the Year—1970. On these two 
pages are views of Bunny Gina in varying 
moods and settings. At right, pravsov Editor- 
Publisher and President of Playboy Clubs 
Internationol Hugh M. Hefner escarts Gino 
offstage in the elegant Penthouse showroom 
ct Lake Genevo, after presenting her with 
the golden Bunny of the Year stotuette, 
sparkling tiara ond gold Bunny ears. Below, 
Gina's prepared for an afterncan of riding, 
her favorite sport, Below right, the winner 
poses with Hefner and two of the five celeb- 
rity judges, model Jean Shrimpton and actor/ 
comedian /singer Bill Cosby, at a press con- 
ference in the Playboy Forum at the Club- 
Hotel following the pageant. Gino’s thrilled 
by it all and the feeling is decidedly mutual. 


from Louisville and has been a 
cottontail for three years. Cooking, tennis 
and beachcombing vie for her attention in 
off-duty hours. 

French ancestry showing through in 
her delightful accent, and model's train- 
ing evidenced in her walk, Mont 
Roxanne Rozon made an instant impres- 
sion on the pageant audience, As be 
a representative of Playboy's outpost in 
bilingual Quebec, Roxanne introduced 
herself in both English and francais. 
(She also speaks a little Italian.) For this 
French-Canadian cottontail, a highlight of 
the wip was sccing at close hand a famed 
sister model, England's Jean Shrimpton, 
who was one of the judges for the con- 

“I think she's the greatest" says 
ine. 

Although (text concluded. overleaf) 


PLAYBOY 


her real name is Lynd: 
the New Orleans Pi. 


everybody at 
boy Club knows 


her as Bunny “Scottie” Scott. This North 


Carolina e is an ex-airline steward- 
ess, whose favorite pastime is preparing 
good food, preferably enhanced by clab- 
orate table settings. "My specialty is 
becf Stroganoff.” says blue-eyed blonde 
Scottie, “but when it comes to beverages, 
my taste is downhome simple. I love 
chocolate mil 

Newest Bu. 


y in the finalists’ ranks 
was brown-haired Cheri Wright from the 
New York Club, who became a cottontail 
last July. A convert to the ranks of ski 
buffs, Che looking forward to the 
opening next year of Playboy's new Club- 
Hotel at Great Gorge, in the mountains 
of New Jerseys Sussex County, just 50 
miles from Manhatta 

Representing the Phoenix Club was 
Pat Duffel, whose auburn locks have 
earned her the nickname "Cinnamon. 
At the Lake Geneva Club-Hotel, Pat and 
several of her fellow contestants discov- 
ered the Bunny Hutch discothéque and 
could often be scen doing the latest dances 
in its psychedelic surroundings. 

From St. Louis came a contestant with 
the Jane Fonda look: Jude Willbrand, 
now a Bunny stewardes on Hugh Het 
ne's DC 9-30 jet. Before becoming a 
couontail June, Jude worked as a 
doctors assistant in her home town, St. 
Charles, Missoui 

The glowing smile of Peggy Berry, the 
finalist from San cisco, has been 
inning friends all the way from 
Pasay in the Philippines, where she w 
horn, to Dayton, Ohio, where she went 
to school. Just belore joining the San 
ncisco Club, Peggy worked as a cashier 
at the University of California Hospitals 
and Clinics in the Bay City, where it’s a 
good guess that her charm may have made 
paying up a bit less painful for patients. 

AIL 19 finalists arrived in Chicago the 
Sunday before the pageant, for three 
days of excitement: a gevacquainted di 
ner in the famous Pump Room of the 
Ambassador East Hotel; scats for the 
Chicago performante of Hair; a round 
of press, radio and TV interviews, make- 
up and hairstyling appointments; a. VIP 
the Chicago Playboy 

Hefner's mansion on 
route to the 
Lake Geneva resort on Wednesday, the 
Bunny finalists stopped to visit wounded 
m veterans at the Great Lakes 
Naval Hospital, where they autographed 
pictures of themselves and copies of 
PLAYBOY. 

The better part of the next three and 
a half days was taken up with rehearsals 
for the Bunny beauty pageant on Sunday 
night, November 16. With script by Don- 
ald K. Epstein, musical direction by Ber- 


164 nard Green and choreography by Gene 


Bayliss, the show afforded all 19 Bunnies 
a chance to demonstrate their singing 
dancing talents, and they practiced dili- 
gently. “They did a marvelous job," said 
producer Pierce after the program. There 
were breaks in the schedule, of course, and 
the entrants used their spare time to the 
fullest, exploring the 1000 acres of 
boys Wisconsin wonderland, sam- 
pling every sport from swimming to skeet- 
and trapshooting. 

Sunday arrived and the girls were at 
their best for makeup sessions and a 
brunch with the celebrity judges who had 
flown up to Lake Geneva for the contest: 
Jean Shrimpton; Bill Cosby; consultant 
Mark McCormack, who is personal repre- 
sen e lor Arnold Palmer, Jack Nick- 
laus and other notables in and out of the 
world of sporis: Wisconsin's li 
governor, Jack B. Olson; and Jan van 
der Marck, director of Chicago's Museum 
of Contemporary Art. A fullscale dress 
rehearsal followed, and then it was time 
to settle down for a light supper and a 
bout with the butterflies as the big mo- 
ment neared. 

Finally, the 19 lovely cottontails were 
snug in custom-made Bunny costumes of 
silver lamé with matching 
cuffs and shoes. The orchestra d chorus 
struck up an overture, segueing into Gee, 
but It’s Good to Be Here, and the Bun- 
nies danced onstage to open the first 
annual Bunny beauty pageant, emceed 
by Mike Darow, host of ABC's Dream 
House. "The show went smoothly, from 
the introductory sequence through ap- 
pearances by the girls in evening attire 
and entertainment by the featured Pent- 
house performers, Hines, Hines & Dad. 
Then the girls returned to the stage in 
their silver costumes for a production 
number of If My Friends Could See Mc 
Now and to await the results of the 
judges’ first ballot, which would cut the 
field to seven finalists. James L. Pioso of 
the firm of Laventhol, Krekst 
wath & Horwath, certified public account- 
anis, handed the ballots to Mike Darow, 
who read out the seven names: Baltimore's 
Gina Byrams, Chicago's Carol Imhof, 
Lake Geneva's Nand Boyles, London's 
Deana Turner, Los Angeles’ Chere Da- 
vis, Montreal’s Roxanne Rozon and San 
Francisco's Peggy Berry. 

Fach of the seven girls was then asked 
a question (“What is the difference be- 
tween glamor and beauty?” “If you could 
do your own thing, what would it be?” 
“Do blondes really have more fun?” etc) 
and the judges voted again. The results, 
announced by Darow: Fourth runner-up, 
Deana Turner of London; third runner- 
up, Nanci Boyles of Like Geneva; tied for 
first runner-up, Roxanne Rozon of Mon- 
treal and Carol Imhof of Chicago. The 
orchestra struck a suspenseful chord, Mike 


s, collars, 


pulled out a slip of paper and announced: 
“Ladies and gentlemen . .. the Bunny of 
the Year for 1970 our Bunny from 
Baltimore, Gina Byram: 

Gina's fellow cottontails dustered 
around the winner with congratulatory 
hugs, as Hefner crowned the queen with a 
sparkling tiara and gold Bunny cars and 
presented. her with a gold Bunny statu- 
ée. The runners-up received silver 
ucttes of the same design, and special 
awards went to Nanci Boyles, chosen 
“most photogenic” by members of the 
Chicago Press Photographers’ Association 
at a luncheon earlier in the weck, and to 
ebullient Chere Davis, voted “most pop- 
ular” by the Bunnies themselves, 

As Bunny of the Year, 


med 


the 1970 MGB; a mink jacket from 
the 


"mba Mink Breeders Assos "n. 
ned by D. H. Grosvenor; $1000 in 
s à vacation cr board a French 
Line ship; a collection of 12 Bill Blass 
designer watches from the Hamilton 
Watch Company; a Schwinn ten-speed 
racing bicycle; Camaro skis fom the 
Hart Ski Manufacturing Company; a 
Peter Kennedy stretch ski wardrobe and 
P & K ski poles from Peter Kennedy Ma 
ng Company, Lange plastic ski 
nasonic stereo music centei 


a Yashica 35mm camera, with 
accessories; a metal tennis racquet from 
Spalding: and a Kiku Bathique Collec 
tion from Fabergé. 
screen test with PI 
a guest appear syndi 
ed television series, Playboy After Dark. 
“I really got the biggest kick out of 
getting all those watches,” said G 
ement had calmed down a 
ng television appearances 
is going to be fun,” She was cohostess on 
Chicago's The Jim Gonway Show, over 
WGN-TV, the weck after the contest, 
and really enjoyed it. “I liked meeting 
celebrities, such as William L. Shirtr, 
Timothy Leary and Harold Robbins. 
Someday I'd like to be able to have my 
own television show. It would be a series 
bawd on a black family—maybe two 
neighbor families—and how they live. 
I'd want it to be true to life—to get across 
some serious ideas with an entertainment 
forma 
For the next few months, however, 
Gina will be fairly well tied up as Bunny 
of the Year, with a schedule calling for 
personal appearances at Playboy Clubs a 
over the globe. She'll throw herself. into 
the whirl with typical enthusiasm. “You 
know, winning this contest is like my first 
step into the world,” Gina Byrams says. 
“I's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I'm 
proud to have won, and I'm loving every 


A touch of Turkish 
turns on taste. 
Turns iton smooth. 
Camels got it. 
Getit. |. 
Start walking. 


"Id walk a mile for a Camel" 


PLAYBOY 


166 


swinging superesorts 


system of betting a beginner should use 
in Vegas would be to lay his entire gam- 
bling budget for the day on one throw of 
the dice or one hand of cards. If he wins, 
he should convert his stake money back 
to cash immediately and play with the 
winning If he loses everything on the 
first shot, he's no worse off than he can 
ord 

Beginners who are reluctant to display 
their ignorance in the big hotel casinos 
on the Strip often try their luck and pick 
up a few hints at the less formidable 
gambling halls in “glitter gulch,” which 
is downtown Vegas. The gulch is a two- 
block phalanx of hotels and casinos 
whose most spectacular resource is a 
solid wall of blinding light that is csti- 
mated by those who estimate such matters 
to contain in excess of 2,000000 light 
bulbs and 42 miles of neon tubing, all of 
which consumes some 6,000000 watts a 
month and costs $65,000 in electric bills. 
This pulsning artery, which upward- 
mobilists have vainly tied to rename 
asino Center, Jacks the snob appeal of 
the Strip, but moderate punters preler its 
casinos for their easygoing informality— 
and their 25-cent minimum bets. On the 
Strip, it’s one dollar. 

Except at the Fremont and the Mint, 
none of the gliuergulch hotels tries to 
compete with the Strip for top-line en- 
tertainment, and the of fare may 
offer anything from Bootie Boots and 


(continued from page 110) 


the Three Heels to the durable appeal 
of toples-i-go-go. Most of the customers 
wear cowboy boots and Stetsons, and the 
soulful Western sounds that twang along 
in the background add a touch of authen- 
ticity to the surroundings. Until a few 
years ago, the star of the main drag was 
“Vegas Vic" a 50-foot neon figure of a 
cowboy who waved, winked and boomed, 
“Howdy, podner!” every few seconds 
throughout the day and night. A couple 
of actors who were staying at the hotel 
opposite while on location for a mov 
rumor identifies them as Burt Lancaster 
and Lee Marvin—grew weary of this in- 
sensate hospitality and early one sleepless 
morning loosed a hail of arrows at the 
caterwauling figure. The cowboy is still 
there, grim nst the night sky, but 
he no longer has anything to say. 
Surprisingly enough, croupiers and 
other young male employees along the 
Strip swear that it is casier to meet girls 
downtown than on the Ship. The places 
they recommend include the biggi 
bling halls, such as the Golden Nugget, 
the Las Vegas, the Lucky Nevada, the 
Horseshoe and the four most popular 
downtown hotels, the Mint. the Fre- 
mont, the Four Queens and El Cortez, 
all of which also, of course, have casinos, 
n case you're unlucky 
Despite the informal character and 
lower prices along glitter gulch (a shot 
of whiskey can be bought for 30 cents at 
the bars), the Strip remains the most 


n love. 


gel AST NONI 


“Publish or perish is our policy, Professor Sweetly, 
but this is most unusual!” 


enticing lure in town, Most of the Strip 
hotels are still uncrowded by neighbor- 
ing buildings, which means that guests in 
the high-risers get a smogless view of the 
distant mountain ranges that encircle the 
valley. They also have the satisfaction of 
knowing that they are staying in the 
epicenter of one of the world's most 
exciting cities; and if they are booked 
into Caesars Palace. they may come to 
regard themselves as millionaires even if 
they're not, for Caesar's Palace is unques- 
tionably the most magnificent hotel in 
Las Vegas in both appearance and service, 
Fronted by an avenue of fountains flanked 
by slender cypresses, the massive portico 
is set off by marble statues that stand in 
front of pillared niches and add a note of 
grace to the grounds. The result could 
have been disastrously pi tious, but it 
is not; there are quite a few $25,000,000 
hotels (the cost of building Caesar's) in 
which the design-and-construction budget 
was dropped into a bottomless pit of poor 
taste. This did not happen at Cacsar's, It 
is a far more attractive addition to the Las 
Vegas landscape than its huge new ri 
just off the Strip, the $60,000,000, 30-story 
International, which sticks up out of the 
desert with all the grace of a denched 
fist. 

If Caesar’s is booked—and all of its 
680 rooms are in fairly constant nse 
during the season—try the Tropicana, a 
pleasant, low-lying hotel at the far end 
of the Strip, which is the more-or-less 
permanent home of the Folies-Bergére in 
Las Vegas and has a relaxing, country. 
dub atmosphere and, paradoxically, some 
of the noisiest dice action in town. Closer 
to the center of the Strip is the Rivier 
Dean Martin's home 
when he works in Vega: 

There are nine other big hotels 
the Strip. In our order of preference, they 
are the Dunes, Sahara, Desert Inn, Sands, 
Flamingo, Frontier, Thunderbird, Alad- 
din and Stardust. The last, like the 
International, claims to be the biggest 
resort hotel in the world, but this is a 
statistic better left unclaimed in a busi 
ness in which more so often means le: 
Adding to one's uncertainty in this are: 
the International's cla 
gallon swimming pool is the largest ma 
made body of water in Nevada after Lake 
Mead. The Thunderbird insists that it 
has 10,000 gallons more than the Inter- 
national. Last on our list—because it's 
situated off the Strip and not because 
it's inferior to the others—is Howard 
Hughes's Landmark, which opened last 
year. Its main feature—apart from com- 
fortable rooms and prompt, attentive 
service—is a tall circular tower topped 
with three tiers that contain bars, à res- 
taurant, a casino and a dancing lounge. 
Access to the top is gained by an outside 
elevator that glides up and down the side 
of the building and affords a splendid 
view of the city. 

AIL Vegas hotels lay claim to unique 


is 
m that its 350,000- 


“Nobody is ever going to accuse you ; » 
O O EAA OE ‘My place or yours? Or right here 


“Roger, exactly what in the hell 
ilo you think you're doing?” 


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168 


“Untitled. Pm sure I don't know what it represents, but 
I have a feeling it’s indecent.” 


attractions in decor, accommodations or 
special attractions (the Hacienda, for 
example, recently rented double rooms for 
$13 and refunded $10 in gambling 
chips). But perhaps the most exclusive 
feature of 1969 was the International’s 
colony of dead bats. These were sealed 
into the ceilings during construction and 
were discovered last summer, soon after 
the hotel opened, when guests started to 
complain about an unusual odor that 
interfered with their peaceful contempla- 
tion of the color-tclevision sets that are 
installed in every room of the hotel. 
Gradually, the odor turned increasingly 
ferocious and finally the ceilings were torn 
out to reveal the putrefied corpses of 
some 270 bats that evidently had checked 
into the hotel before the grand opening 
and had been permanently installed 
along with the Spanish, French and 
Italian decor, the six different color 
schemes, the Persian lounge and putting 
green, the lagoons and the four tennis 
courts. The bats were removed and the 
rooms now smell heavenly. 

very hotel in Vegas boasts at least one 
first-rate restaurant, and it is not always 
the one with the most la’ decor, The 
oyster bar at the Thunderbird, for exam- 
ple, is plainly furnished in wood, but the 
food is excellent. Their bouillabaisse 
consists of everything good from the sea, 
i ing oysters, crab, clams and scal- 
lops in a sauce flavored with white wine 
and a touch of brandy. Other recommen- 
dations are creole gumbo and fresh 
shucked oysters cooked in a light batter. 
More seafaring is available at the Dome of 
the Sea in the Dunes and at Moby Dick 
in the Stardust, which must be one of the 
best seafood restaurants anywhere. At the 
Inte al, you can shocless in 
the private rooms of Benihana, the famous 
chain of Japanese steakhouses, or you can 
take your che of Italian, Mexican or 
Bavarian dishes (accompanied by free wine 
and beer) in as many restaurants. One of 
the more dignified hotel restaurants is 
Dcelmonico's in the Riviera. Gourmet 
food is a phrase that has been flogged to 
death in Vegas—and clsewhere; but at 
Delmonico's, the Turbot Poche Mousse- 
line and the Pheasant à la Sonitane are 
prepared by expert hands, not just cooked. 
and served. 

At the Bacchanal im Caesar's Palace, 
houris massige the male diners necks 
between staggering courses of elaborate 
but not always inspired fish, fowl and 
Romanized de! ies. And in the Re- 
gency Room at the Sands, the fare, oddly 
cnough, is Chinese. If you feel like cat 
ing a steak or a prime cut of beef in the 
atmosphere of a London club, try the 
House of Lords at the Sahara. 

We suggest you pay at least one visit to 
Angelina’s, which features an imaginative 
menu of Balkan dishes (Chicken Papi 
kash, Egg Dumplings in Sour Cream, Shish 
Kabob) served to the accompaniment of— 
you guesed it—gypsy violins. Italian 


specialties are the keynote at Carlo Bom- 
bara’s, Villa d'Ese and Cioppino's; all 
three are recommended. Make sure you 
call for reservations at Villa d'Este and 
wear something that looks like a tie. 

At the Golden Steer, you'll be regaled 
with a wide range of game dishes, includ- 
ing Chukkars, Pheasant and Guinea hen, 
A whole lamb or a goose can be served 
to order, or you can dine à la carte from 
an appetizing assortment of steaks and 
Continental dishes, such as Veal Piccante 
and Mostaccioli. Good place. And so is 
the Fireside (north of the city on Tono- 
pah Highway), with a richly stocked wine 
cellar and sophisticated fare. Sample 
their Capon Veronique in Champagne 
Sauce. 

If you fancy di 
tions of m 


ng without the atten- 
itres de and similar formali 


ties, drop in at the Serene Room, where 
you can cook your own steak and play a 


couple of racks of cight ball while you're 
waiting. Another relaxed spot just off the 
Strip is the South Pacific (Polynesian items 
indude beef fillet in oyster sauce and 
pineapple ribs), an ideal sewing for a 
romantic tête-à-tête, if you have a thing 
for bamboo and jungle foliage. 

n't always a wise move to have 
dii n a hotel showroom. The cuisine, 
not being a major attraction, may range 
from slapdash to ghastly, depending on 
your luck. If the show you're going to 
scc docsn't require dinner as the price of 
admission, reserve your table, dine some- 
where else and return to the hotel just 
before the show starts, so that you'll have 
time to order drinks. 

What to do after the show? Go to see 
another show, and another and another. 
‘The lounge shows continue until five, Or 
go to a movie at the Bonanza Hotel: go 
dancing the International Grown 
Room, high above the bright lights. Or 
go to the Lariat Club and slap leather 
with Johnny Leggett and his Ragin’ 
Cajuns, Go to the Pussycat disco and 
shingaling until eight in the 
(Showgirls and dancers go there after 
their last performance and stay for break- 
fast; great. music.) 

When it gets light. go to Scootersville 
and rent a motor bike for a trip across 
the desert to Bonnie Springs Ranch, 
where you can ride quarter horses and 
enjoy a leisurely lunch beside a duck 
pond. In short, go everywhere and do 


everything. For Las Vegas is Alice's Res- 
nt, only more so—you c 


tau n get any- 
thing you want, especially Alice. 

If Nevada provides the desert dream 
of Las Vegas to drive men wild with 
visions of imagined wealth, it also offers 
one of the world’s beautiful refuges, 
where any crapped-out novice gambler 
ickly forget—or try to recoup—his 
ke Tahoe, which glitters like a 
huge star sapphire amid the snow-capped 
ks of the High Sierras. Tahoe, of 
course, js not Nevada's exclusive posses- 


sion: 42 of its 71 miles of fir-fringed shore 
line lie on the California side; but it is 
along Nevada’s south shore that Lake 
Tahoe is at its most scenic and sybaritic. 

To get there from Las Vegas, one 
boards an Air West jet and within the 
hour lands at Reno, “the biggest little 
city in the world” and—after a visit to 
Vegas—surely one of life's minor disap 
pointments. There's no desire here to 
bad-mouth Reno; but the town just 
doesn’t measure up in any way to Vegas 
nor to the south shore's action cent 
Stateline, Nevada. Reno is a city of some 
70.000 [olk who make a good bit of 
change from the gambling scene, and 
ly are a few things worth 
ably Bill Harrah's classiccar 
But aside from some hotel- 
casino operations, there's little action to 
keep you in Reno. 

Although the probability is that you'll 
be able to find digs in the Stateline area 
(an hour’s drive from Reno), be sure to 
make reservations in advance if you want 
to stay at cither of the two best hotels 
the Sahara-Tahoe or Harvey’s Resort 
Hotel. Though the Sahara-Tahoe's serv- 
ice occasionally buckles a bit under the 
stress of hosting huge conventions, it is 
among the most pleasantly appointed 
hotels in Nevada—and the place to stay 
in Tahoe. Its 600 rooms are spacious 
and the stylized cheeriness of thc rooms 
contrasts nicely with those in the gaudier 
Vegas hostelries. The 14-story hotel cost 
$30,000,000 to build almost five years 
ago and, although its publicity men like 
to boast about its casino ("over 110 yards 
long and almost as wide as a fool 
field"), gambling here is more of a diver- 
sion than an obsession; the high rollers 
are in Vegas. 

People who've been coming to Tahoe 
for years—about 60 percent of its trade 
is from the San Francisco area, whereas 
Vegas draws more from L. A—often pre- 
fer Harvey's, the first high-rise hostelry 
the area and originally started as a 
gambling casino in 1944. To be quite 
honest about matters, the rooms at Har- 
are a bit on the tacky side, but the 
service is warm and personal. Outside of 
these two—and a string of motels run- 
ning from grim to great—there is only 
one other plan we suggest: renting a 
place—chalet or house—at Tahoe Keys, 
ionhome development on the 
California shore line, a three-minute 
drive from the center of town. Tahoe 
Keys bills itself as "the last of the big 
splendors” and, in its own way, doesn't 
really overstate the case by much. About 
90 percent of the $200,000,000 develop- 
ment’s 265 or so homes (70 more ate 
expected to rise this year) are situated 
on Lake Tuhoe’s only sheltered harbor. 
"The average cost of an on-the-water 
lot is around $15,000 and half that for 
an off the-water site. Add the price of a 
handsome custom-styled vacation home 
and you have a 750acre community of 


169 


PLAYEOY 


y fat cats, most of whom are too 
involved in building their various indus- 
trial empires to spend more than a 
month or two in regal retreat. Rather 
than just let this edifice complex lie 
vacant, many owners allow their homes 
to be rented during their absence. Thus, 
for $250 a week. one can, in Tahoe Keys, 
live far more elegantly, privately and 
pleasurably especially if you've brought 
a distaff companion—than in any hotel 
On the Nevada side, Round Hill Village 
is a similar planned community, except 
that it’s family-oriented, away from the 
water and just a bit doser to life in 
Levittowi 

Once ensconced in a south-shore pleas- 
ure dome, vou can begin exploring the 
area, Stateline, located on the Califor- 
nia-Nevada is a tiny hamlet 
whose main street is Highway 50, and 
Jong it are located all the major hotels, 
mbling spots and restaurants. One can 
asily spot the stop light where Nevada 
becomes South Lake Tahoe, Califor 
Because of tight zoning laws and the 
high value of land upon which gam- 
bling casinos can be built, the Nevada 
side is uncluttered and still scenic. Cali: 
fornia, with no likelihood of getting 
mbling legalized. has allowed four- 
la-half-year-old South Lake Tahoe to 
grow up like the service roads along New 
York's Long Island Expressway: lots of 
motels, gas stations, hamburger stands 
nd a heavy supply of prosaic neon. But 
side (population 14.000) 
changing for the better. John Wil- 
liams, the town's former city manager, 
says "Signs that look like movie mar- 
quees were being built for hot-dog stands. 
In. this that kind of thing isn't 
simply obnoxious, it’s aesthetically ob- 
scene, Under city ordinances, some of 
them have already disappeared, and 
theyll all be gone within the next five 
years.” 

If the spirit of conservation seems to 
run high in the area, it's because Lake 
‘Tahoe and the High Sierras surrounding 
it are almost excessively spectacular, 
Lake Tahoe, in fact, been turning 
people on since it was first seen by John 
C. Fremont in 18: he called it Lake 
Bonpland, in honor of a French botanist 
who was traveling with him. In 1853, it 
was renamed Lake Bigler after C: 
nia’s third governor; but nine years later 
a San Francisco reporter supplied a car- 
tographer with the Indian name of the 
lake (Tahoe for "high water"), and no- 
body's tried to change it since. 

"Ehe lake has been threatened. by pol- 
lution, however, most notably by hotel 
and casino operators. But that’s past his 
tory. A bistate agency now reviews all 
proposed building near the shores, to 
make certain Tahoe doesn't become a 
Western Lake Erie; additionally, South 
Lake Tahoe now operates a sewage-treat- 


lor- 


170 ment plant that even removes impurities 


most urban centers leave in their drink- 
ing water. Northern Nevada residents. 
clim that mountain-stream-fed Tahoe 
is the purest body of water in the world; 
but if civic pride must be taken with a 
grain of sal, one can scarcely accuse 
Mark Twain of having had a booster 
mentality. In Roughing It. Twain wrote, 
after boating on the lake, that Tahoe's 
water "was not merely transparent but 
dazalingly, brilliantly so. All objects seen 
through it had a bright, strong vividness, 
not only of outline but of every minute 
detail, which they would not have seen 
simply through the same depth of at- 
mosphere. So empty and airy did all 
em below us, and so strong wa 
sense of floating high aloft in mid- 
nothingness, that we called these boat 
xcursions "balloon voyages.” ” 

All of the above should indicate that 
initially, at least, your days will center 
about the 21-miledong lake. In addition 
to boating. ng. diving and 
swimming, Tahoe also offers fine fishing: 
rainbow, brown and Mackinaw tout 
(Macks run up to 30 pounds) and Ko- 
kance salmon. But the lure of Tahoe ex- 
tends beyond the borders of the lake. 
Urban men who've never owned—and 
may never even have fired—a gun often 
attempt hunting in the area: There's 
deer and bear, duck, pheasant and q 
California's hunting s s 
tember; Nevada's in October. There are 
also four golf courses in the immedi 
area, two of wl hole public 
nks; the two I8-hole courses, Edgewood 
Tahoe and Tahoe Paradise, are challeng- 
ng, well cared for and imaginatively la 
out. (A slight bonus: Because of the 
6200-foot elevation, your drives will trav- 
el farther.) The hills guarding Tahoe 
provide exciting overviews of the lake 
xd two of the more exhilarating ways to 
enjoy the scenery are on horseback and 
rented motor bike. The area's numb 
one athletic preoccupation, however, is 
skiing: and in winter, the slopes of Meav- 
enly Valley—just up the hill from State- 
line—throng with dedicated  schussers. 
It’s not easy to pinpoint just why people 
who'd rather drive than walk to the cor- 
ner grocery suddenly get into an outdoor 
bag, but thats what happens to you in 
Tahoe. 

A full day of recreation will whet even 
the lightest appetite; and although most 
of the restaurants in the area are fair to 
mediocre, there are at least a couple of 
superb choices, thanks 10 the hotels. 
Harvey's offers the best food in the re- 
gion and gives you a choice of two fine 
restaurants. Our preference is the Top of 
Wheel—situated. not surprisingly, 
atop the hotel and providing a panoram- 
view of the lake. The decor is Polyne- 
and 


i 
sian, as are most of the aperi 
much of the fare; two house specialties 
to sample are Mahi Mahi (broiled bone- 
les fish flown in from the South Pacific) 
and Spring Chicken Sauté Lanai. Not to 


be confused with Trader Vic's, however, 
the menu also features Wild West Buf- 
falo Steak. In the hotel's Western-motif 
Sage Room, order yourself a huge slab 
of tender beef, raised on owner Harvey 
A. Gross's James Canyon Ranch. Our 
next choice would be the Aspen Grove 
Steakhouse in the Sahara-Tahoe; al- 
though the service may not impress you. 
the steaks w 
Tf you care to be entertained while din. 
ing, the area’s evening imperatives are the 
High rra Theater, a 1500-scat show- 
place in the Sahart-Tahoc, the South 
Shore Room at Harrah’s and the Pavilion 
of Stars at Harvey's, all of which custom- 
arily showcase the best nightclub per- 
formers in America. (They all have late 
shows as well.) After dinner and a show, 
there's always the gambling to return to. 
There are four gaming establishments in 
the area: the Sahara-Tahoe. Harvey's. 
Barney's (a bit seedy for our taste) and 
Harrah's, a gambling entertainment center 
that always seems 5. R.O. Blackjack is 
the only card game to be found at Har- 
ls and, although there's enough action 
the cr: bles, one gets the feeling 
that most of Harrah's profit is gained 
from its slot-machine operation; there 
re almost 1100 of them in the building, 
and the incesant clanking of levers and 
jangle of change spilling out makes the 
place sound like a brass-button factory. 
One quickly notices that the women in 
the casinos are not the sleck young- 
bodied or rich gem-fingcred wives or 
dyed-blonde divorcees one sees almost 
exclusively in Vegas. Here, they're more 
apt to be wearing a sweater over a knit 
dress and to be rather self-conscious about 
gambling to pass the time: a San Francs 
co syndrome, no doubt about it. In Ta- 


hoe. one also secs shorn and unshorn 
college kids, far more than in Vegas. 
where one gets the feeling that hippies 


a out into the desert and 
ah by hard-throwing crou- 
piers. The amount of moncy wagered 
usually small; rarely do those $100 chips 
fall on à Tahoe crap or roulette table. 
When it it’s usually strictly for 
show. There are probably more 5204- 
ight betters here than in Vegas, where 
s often a case of all you've got or 
nothing. There's a good reason for this 
stare of affairs: Tahoe, unlike Vega 
a natural as well as a complete resort, 
and the people drawn to its shores are 
not engaged in acting out their get 
rich-<quick daydreams. But between the 
flash of Vegas and the compelling beauty 
of Tahoe, Nevada's two superesorts are 
without peer in America—or, for that 
matter, anywhere in the world. 5o mosey 
on out to the desert and live the finan- 
cial fantasy for a few days, then fly up 
to the Sierras to discover that nature 
can be an equally heady trip. As they 
have a habit of saying in Nevada, the 
odds are with you either way. 


would be dr 
diced to d 


HASH FREAK-OUT (continued from page 150) 


with a lamb hash. for instance, as a 
dearinghouse for last weck's roast mut- 
ton, leftover pork chops and fragments 
of veal, all of which may look like lamb 
but which no spice, herb or sauce can 
possibly convert to lamb to the taste 
buds. Even two such similar meats as 
turkey and chicken, when heated in a rich. 
cream sauce, will cach give the sauce its 
own unmi ble flavor and aroma. 
Ironically, Frenchmen, who gave the mis- 
begotten word hash to the world, are 
also responsible for offering more crea- 
ive recipes on the subject than cooks 
elsewhere. The 29 recipes in the Larousse 
Gastronomique could casily be doubled or 
tripled by today's Gallic hash connoisseurs. 

All hashes, by definition, are made 
from a previously cooked viand; but 
when youre plotting a party, the first 
counsel for perfection is to create your 
cooked dish, rather than to passively wait 
for the leftover to occur. The best meat 


is boiled rather than roasted. If you're 
planning to serve a turkey hash, your 


best bet is to boil a turkey small enough 
to fit comfortably into a pot, or boil a 
turkey breast, always Ictting the meat 
cool in its own cooking liquid. Prepared 
turkey roll, purchased at the deli count- 
er, or socalled baked turkey is, for hash 
purposes, usually superior to the browned 
Toast turkey that may have been succulent 
when it was freshly carved but which 
usually becomes dry after several days 
in the refrigerator. 

An elegant variety of freshly cooked 
and sliced meats can be picked up at 
gourmet takehome food counters every- 
where. The best sources of supply are 
usually the busiest. If you're buying 
cooked corned beef, the more expensive 
brisket is better than the drier corned- 
beef rump or round. Freshly boiled lob- 
ster for hash is now a standard offering 
at first-class seafood vendors. 

In dicing meat, skill with the carving 
knife is all-important. Meat should be 
cut into cubes that are a quarter of an 
inch. thick and never, under any circum- 
stances, mangled in a meat grinder. The 
strictly uniform size of the cubes is what 
gives hash its sumptuous feel in the 
mouth. With this in mind, remember 
that if you're buying cooked meat to be 
sliced by machine, the slices should be a 
quarter of an inch thick. In dicing the 


meat later, use a heavy French knife 
with a keen edge; simply cut the slices 
into quart n cut 


crosswise at quarterinch intervals to 
make cubes. Remember also that meat 
that is excessively soft will turn to shreds 
under a dull knife; run your blade over 
a knife steel or an electric sharpener 
frequently, so that it keeps its edge 
sharp. 

Accompaniments and garnishes some- 
times count for as much as the hash 
itself. IL you're serving wild rice w 


hash, it should be flavored with shallots 
and simmered in mellow chicken broth 
rather than tap water. The purée of split 
peas formed into a border around turkey 
hash should be buttery smooth and care- 
fully shaped with a pastry bag and tube. 
(If you haven't mastered this minor art, 
you can always practice on a batch of 
mashed potatoes, putting them through 
a large rosette tube and repeating the 
process for as long as you care to re- 
hearse.) When hash is to be gratinéed, 
the cheese for the topping should be 
taken from a chunk of parmesan freshly 
cut from the whole wheel and freshly 
grated in a blender, so that, as the h; 
bakes, the cheese melts rather than hard- 
ens into the all-too-familiar uptight gran- 
ules. Something good can even be said 
for the ubiquitous bottle of catsup, al- 
ways the easiest target for food aesthetes 
but, nevertheless, almost always offered 
with corned-beef hash. Curry-flavored 
catsup is merely a matter of mixing 4 
cup catsup with 1 teaspoon curry pow- 
der; mustard catsup is a combination of 
Ye cup catsup with 1 tea 


regular brown mustard, Dijon mustard 
and dry mustard. Both of these hashwor- 
thy cold sauces should be left to ripen in 
the refrigerator several hours before scry- 
ing and should be taken to the table in 
sauceboats. Finally, the hash itself should 
always appear on the table on brightly 
burnished platters or in colorful chafing 
dishes, 

Whether beer enhances hash or vice 
versa doesn’t matter; the two go together 
as inseparably as champagne and chicken 
hash at a wedding breakfast. The most 
compatible wine or liquor to be offered 
with hash often depends on when the 
dish is served. At almost any brunch 
table, for instance, you'll find guests eat- 
ing hash with one hand while reaching 
for their fresh screwdrivers with the 
other. At an evening sit-down dinner, 
one should plan on a wine that is con. 
genial with the main ingredient of the 
hash. Thus, with beef or game hash, one 
would uncork a full-Aayored red wine, 
such as a Rhone. With lobster, chicken 
or turkey hash, a tart but smooth Pouilly- 
Fuissé or a California pinot chardonnay 
would go perfectly. 

The guidance that 


follows should 


“Damn it, Conrad, I'm for peace, 
too—but not as an end in itself.” 


172 


PLAYBOY 


enable any host to acquire his hash marks 
in record time, Each recipe serves six. 


CORNED-DEET HASH WITH EGGPLANT 
AND TOMATO 


2 Ibs. cooked corned-beef brisket, 14-i 
thick slices 

Ve medium-size eggplant 

Salt, pepper 

Flour 

2 eggs, beaten 

Y, teaspoon paprika 

Salad oil 

2 large firm, ripe tomatoes 

2 tablespoons butter 

1 large onion, finely minced 

1 quart boiled potatoes, diced 

1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce 

1 tablespoon lemon juice 

1 cup heavy cream 

Grated parmesan cheese 

Peel eggplant and cut into slices 1% 
in. thick. Sprinkle lightly with salt and 
dip in flour, coating thoroughly. Beat 
eggs and paprika. Heat oil to a depth of 
X, in. in large electric skillet preheat- 
ed at 370°. Dip sliced eggplant in eggs 
and sauté until brown and tender. Sct 
aside, Cut tomatoes into slices vj in. 
thick; prepare as many tomato slices as 
there are slices of eggplant, using more 
tomato, if necessary. Cut corned beef 
into 14-in. dice. In small saucepan, melt 
butter and sauté onion u tender. In 
large mixing bowl combine corned 
beef, onion, potatoes, Worcestershire 
sauce, lemon juice and cream. Mix very 
well adding salt and pepper to taste. 
Preheat oven at 375°. Turn corned-heef 
mixture into lightly greased shallow cas- 
serole. Place overlapping alternate slices 
of eggplant and tomato on top. Sprinkle 
lightly with salt; sprinkle with parmesan 
cheese. Bake 30 to 40 minutes or until 
top is browned. 


BROWNED DEEF HASH WITH CHESTNUTS 


3 Ibs. rump of beef 

2 medium-size onions 

2 picces celery 

Salt, pepper 

2 10-02. cans chestnuts in water, drained 

6 large shallots, finely minced 

2 large doves garlic, finely minced 

Butter 

14 cup heavy cream 

2 tablespoons lemon juice 

Salad oil 

2 8-07. cans tomato sauce 

2 tablespoons tarragon vinegar 

1 teaspoon dried tarragon 

Cover beef with cold water in pot. 
Add 1 onion, celery and 1 teaspoon salt. 
Bring to a boil; skim froth from pot: 
reduce flame and simmer slowly unt 
meat is tender—92y5 hours or longer. 
Discard onion and celery and let meat 
cool in its own broth. Broth may be 
saved for beef bouillon or used as soup 


172 stock. Trim fat off beef and cut meat 


into mMin. cubes. Cut chesmuts about 
the same size. Mince remaining oi 
Sauté onion, shallots and garlic in 9 
tablespoons butter until onion is barely 
tender. In mixing bowl, combine beef, 
sautéed vegetables, chestnuts, cream and 
lemon juice. Season generously with salt 
and pepper. Mix very well, until meat 
and chestnuts cohere in one mass. Divide 
mixture in two, Preheat oven at 400°. In 
large heavy frying pan, heat 1 table- 
spoon salad oil and 2 tablespoons butter 
until butter melts. Add half the beef 
mixture and sauté over medium flame. 
When hash is browned on bottom, stir it 
well and shape into oblong roll. Move 
roll to one side against edge of pan and 
sauté until well browned on bottom. 
Tum hash, browned side up, onto large 
ovenproof platter and place in oven to 
keep hot. Brown remainder of hash in 
same manner. Turn onto platter. Heat 
tomato sauce, tarragon vinegar and tarra- 
gon. When sauce is hot, stir in 2 table- 
spoons butter until dissolved. Pour small 
amount of sauce around edges of hash 
on platter. Pass balance of sauce at table, 
Wf hash is to be served at brunch 
poach 6 eggs and place them on top of 
hash. Traditional browned beef hash 
may be made by substituting 1 quart 
diced boiled potatoes for chestnuts. 


CURRIED LAMB HASH 


14 leg of lamb, about 314 Ibs. 

1 large onion 

1 carrot 

1 picce celery 

Salt, pepper 

6 tablespoons butter 

1 small green pepper, finely minced 

1 medium-size onion, finely minced 

2 large cloves garlic, finely minced 

1% small bay leaf 

1 tablespoon curry powder 

6 tablespoons flour 

2 packets instant broth 

1 piece stick 

Y, cup capers in vinega 

1, cup heavy cream. 

307, can coconut 

Cover lamb with cold water in pot. 
Add large onion, carrot, celery and | tea- 
spoon salt. Bring to a boil; skim froth 
from pot; reduce flame and simmer slow- 
ly until meat is tender—114 to 2 hours. 
Discard onion, carrot and celery and let 
meat cool in its own broth. Remove 
meat from bone. Cut away fat and gristle 

nd cut into Yin. dice. Set aside. In 
large saucepan, melt butter over low 
flame. Add green pepper, medium-size 
onion, garlic and bay leaf and sauté un- 
til pepper is barely tender. Stir in curry 
powder and flour, mixing very well. Re- 
move from flame, In another saucep: 
heat 3 cups lamb broth to boiling point. 
Slowly stir lamb broth into butter-flou 
mixture, mixing with wire whip. Add 
instant broth and cinnamon. Return to 


drained 


moderate flame and simmer 15 minutes, 
stirring frequently. Remove cinnamon 
and bay leaf. Add capers, cream and 
lamb. Heat over moderate flame about 
10 minutes. Add salt and pepper to taste, 
Keep hash warm until serving time. Pre- 
heat oven at 300°. Place coconut in sh 
low pan and bake 20 to 30 minutes, 
stining frequently, until coconut turns 
light brown. Spoon curried hash into 
chafing dish. Sprinkle coconut lightly on 
10p. Pass remainder of coconut at table. 
Serve with white rice and chutney. Note: 
All curries are deeper in flavor and more 
mellow if cooked one day and reheated 
for serving the next. 


‘CREAMED CHICKEN HASH WITH 
HOLLANDAISE 

Ay, cups diced boiled chicken or 114 
Ibs. chicken roll, diced 

1 cup milk 

2 tablespoons instantized flour 

Sweet butter 

Salt, white pepper, cayenne 


led egg yolk, mashed 

2 teaspoons lemon juice 

1 tablespoon cognac 

3 tablespoons oloroso or cream sherry 

2 cups light cream 

Make sure that chicken is free of all 
fat, skin, gristle and bone before cutting 
nto dice. Put cold milk and flour into 
saucepan; stir well with wire whip B 
flour is completely dissolved. Add 2 
blespoons butter and heat over moder rig 
flame, stirring constantly, until sauce is 
thick, Reduce flame and simmer 5 min- 
utes. Add salt and pepper to taste. Re- 
1nove from flame and keep pan covered. 
In small saucepan, melt 14 Ib. butter 
over low flame; heat butter until hot, 
but do not permit it to turn brown. 
While butter is melting, put egg yolks 
and hard egg yolk into blender and 
blend for a few seconds at low speed. 
Very slowly, while continuing to blend 
at low speed, add hot butter in driblets. 
When butter is thoroughly blended, add 
lemon juice. Remove sauce from blender 
and add salt and white pepper to taste 
and a dash cayenne. Keep hollandaise 
sauce covered in a warm place, not in a 
double boiler nor over direct heat. In 
saucepan large enough to hold the hash 
melt 8 tablespoons butter over 
flame. Add chicken, cognac and sherry, 
sti ig well. When hot, set ablaze, When 
flames subside, add cream. Simmer very 
slowly about 10 minutes. Add white 
sauce and simmer about 5 minutes, st 
ring frequently. Add salt and pepper to 
taste and a dash cayenne. Keep hash 
warm in top part of chafing dish over 
At table, just before 
serving, stir in holland. uce. Serve 
with wild rice or white rice flavored 
h slivers of Italian white truffles, if 
available. 


low 


PATTY OF LOBSTER HASH 


. boiled lobsters 

y4 cup butter 

6 large shallots or scallions (white part 

only), very finely minced 

Yo Ib. fresh mushrooms, small dice 

1⁄4 cup flour 

14 cups milk. 

114 cups light cream 

or. jar pimientos, drained, small dice 
1 tablespoon finely minced fresh chives 
Y cup fino sherry or dry vermouth 

Salt. pepper 

6 patty shells 

Remove lobster meat from shells, sav- 
ng tomalley and roe, if any. Gut lobster 
into M-n. dicc. In large saucepan, melt 
butter over low flame; add shallots and 
mushrooms and sauté until almost all 
liquid has evaporated from pan. Stir in 
flour, blending very well. Remove pan 
from flame. In another saucepan, heat 
milk and cream to boiling point. Slowly 
add to mushroom mixture, stirring well 
with wire whip. Return to low fla nd 
immer 10 minutes, stirring frequently 
tomalley, roe, pimientos 
immer over low flame until 
thoroughly heated through. Add sherry. 
Season to taste with salt and pepper. 
Keep warm until serving time. Preheat 
oven at 350* and heat patty shells for 
about 5 minutes. Pour lobster hash into 
and around patty shells. Serve with fried 
asparagus. 


TURKEY HASH ST. GERMAIN 


414 cups diced boiled tu 
turkey roll, diced 

1 Ib. split green peas 

1 mediumsize onion, minced 

1 large dove garlic, minced 

1 mediumesize carrot, mi 

Salt, white pepper, c 

Butter 

packers instant broth 


or 11⁄4 Ibs. 


stantized flour 
tablespoons dry vermouth 
tablespoons bourbon 

21⁄4 cups light cream 

Grated parmesan cheese 

Jn soup pot or large saucepan, put 
is, onion, garlic and carrot and cover 
h cold water. Add 1 teaspoon salt. 
Bring to a boil; skim; reduce flame and 
simmer until peas are very tender— 
about 11/4, hours During cooking, add 
water as needed to keep peas covered 
until done. Drain peas well; put them 
into blender, in batches if necessary, and 
blend until smooth purée is formed. 
Melt 3 tablespoons butter; add to puré 
Add instant broth and salt and pepper 
to taste. Chill in refrigerator until need- 
ed. Put milk and flour into small sauce- 
pan; stir well with wire whip until flour 
is completely dissolved. Add 2 table- 
spoons butter and heat over moderate 
flame, stirring constantly, until sauce is 


ies d — dà 


“Great opener—what do we do for acts two and three?” 


thick. Reduce flame and simmer 5 m 
utes, stirring occasionally. Add salt and 
pepper to taste and a dash cayenne. 
Remove from flame and keep pan 
covered. In large saucepan, melt 3 tabte- 
spoons butter over low flame, Add tur- 
Kev, vermouth and bourbon. When hot, 
set ablaze. When flames subside, add 
cream. Simmer very slowly about 10 min- 
utes. Add white sauce and simmer 5 
minutes, stirring frequently. Add salt 
nd pepper to taste and a dash cay- 
enne, Preheat oven at 875°. In large 
shallow casserole or 6 individual shirred- 
egg dishes, form a border of splitpe: 
purée, using a pastry bag and tube. 
Spoon turkey hash into center and sprin- 
kle with parmesan cheese. Bake 30 min- 
utes or until heated through. Just before 
serving, place under broiler flame for a 
few minutes, watching constantly, until 
cheese is browned. 


p 


FRIED ASPARAGUS, 


3 Ibs, jumbo asparagus 


1 cup plus 2 tablespoons flour 


2 eggs 
1 cup milk 
Salad oil 
Salt. 

Peel asparagus below tips with vege 
table peeler, cutting away scales and 
stringy coating. Cut off tough bottom 
ends and wash well under cold running 
water. Cook. covered, in large wide skil- 
let or saucepan with | i 
tender—about 15 to 20 mi 
and chill thoroughly. P: with. paper 
toweling. In blender, combine flour, eggs, 
milk, | tablespoon salad cil and V tea 
spoon salt and blend until smooth. Heat 
114 ins. oil in electric skillet preheated 
370°. Dip asparagus into batter. D. 
slightly. Lower asparagus, one piece 
a time, into pan and fry until medium 
brown. Sprinkle with salt. 

And that about sums up our hash 
notes. Now it’s up to you to prove forth 
with that many a delectable dish lurks 
beneath its prosaic nomencla 


water, until 
utes. Drain 


173 


PLAYBOY 


174 


COPING WITH FUTURE SHOCK (continued from page 96) 


into normal life, According to criminolo- 
gist Daniel Glaser, the distinctive feature 
of correctional institutions of the future 
will be the idea of gradual release. In- 
stead of taking a man out of the under- 
stimulating, tightly regimented life of 
the prison and plunging him violently 
and without prep nto open socie- 
ty. he is moved first to an intermediate 
institution that permits him to work in 
the community by day while continuing 
to return to the institution at night. 
Gradually, restrictions are lifted, until he 
is fully adjusted to the outside world. 
The same principle has been explored 
ious mental institutions. 

sic idea of providing change in 
controlled, graduated. stages rather than 
in abrupt transitions is crucial to any 
society that wishes to cope with rapid 

technological upheaval. Retire- 
ment, for example, does not need to be 
the abrupt, allornothing, cgocrushing 
change that it now is for most men. 
There is no reason why it cannot be 
gradualized. Military induction, which 
tes a young man from 1 
family in a sudden and almost violent 
fashion, could be done in stages. Legal 
separation, which is supposed to serve 


a kind of halfway house on the way 
orce, could be made less legally 


complicated and psychologically costly. 

al marriage could be encouraged in- 
d of denigrated. In short, wherever 
a change of status is contemplated, the 
possibility of gradualizing it should be 
considered. 


Despite all such strategies and social 
services, however, mo society racing 
through the turbulence of the next sev- 
eral decades will be 
yet another form of futureshodk ab- 
Sorber: specialized centers in which the 
cially depressed. To 
ady, we shall need en- 
past—communities in which 
ovelty and choice are de- 


where history is partially frozen, like 
the Amish villages of Pennsylvania, or 
places 
ulated, like Wil 
Mystic, Connecticut. Unlike Wil 
burg or Mystic, however, through which 
visitors stream at a steady and rapid clip, 
tomorrow's enclaves of the past should 
be places where people faced with future 
shock can escape the pressures of ove 
stimulation for weeks, months, even 
years, if they choose. 

In such slow-p: 
viduals who needed or 
relaxed, less stimulating existence could. 
find it. The communities should be con- 
sciously encapsulated, selectively cut off 
from the surrounding society. Vehicular. 
access should be limited to avoid traffic. 


indi- 
wanted a more 


ed communities 


Newspapers should be wecklics instead 
of dailies, If allowed at all, radio and 
n should be broadcast only for 
hours a day, instead of round the 
clock. Only special emergency services 


maintained at the maximum. efficiency 
permitted by advanced technology. Such 
communities should be subsidized by the 
larger society as a form of mental and 
social insurance. 

‘These living museums could also serve 
as experiential teaching machines, Chil- 
dien from the outside world might spend. 
a few months ted feudal vil- 
Tage dren did 
centuries ago. Teenagers might be asked 
to spend some time living in a typical 
early industrial community and even to 
work in its mill or factory. Such living 
education would give them a historical 
perspective no book could ever provide. 
In these communities, 
who wanted a slower life could make a 
career out of "being" Shakespeare or Ben 
klin or Napoleon or their less il- 

tt- 

ing out their parts on stage but living, 
sleeping as they did. The carcer 
mulant would attract a 
gr ny naturally talented 
short, every society will need subsociet 
whose members are estote 10 st 


men and women 


want to pay people not to use the 
goods, not to enjoy the most automated 
and sophisticated conveniences. 

By the same token, just as we should. 
make it possible for some people to 
live at the slower pace of the past, we 
should also make it possible for individ- 
uals to experience aspects of their future. 
in advance. Belore dispatching a work- 
er to 2 new location, he and his family 
ought to be shown detailed movies of the 
neighborhood they will live in, the school 
their children will attend, the stores in 
which they will shop, perhaps even the 
teachers, shopkeepers ighibors they 
meet. By preadapting them in this 
„ we can lower their anxieties about 
the unknown and prepare them, in ad- 
vance, to cope with many of the problems 
they are likely to encounter. 

Tomorrow, as the technology of ex- 
periential simulation advances, we shall 
be able to go much further. The pre- 
adapting individual not 
merely to see a 
taste and smell 
is about to enter 
teract vicariously with the people in 
future and to undergo carefully con- 
trived experiences designed to improve 
his coping abilities. The "psych-corps" of 
the funne—gi: keting, 
psychological services—will find a fertile 
market in the design and operation of 
such preadaptive facilities. Whole fam- 
s may go to “work-learn-and-play” en- 


will be able 


claves that will, in effect. constitute 
museums of the future, preparing them 
to cope with their own personal to- 
morrows. 

Until we are able to build such tem- 
poral endaves, we may have to rely on, 
perhaps even re-create, more traditional 


futureshock absorbers. In the past, for 
1a] served as an important 


example, 
change buffer. Anthropologists tell us 
that certain repeated ceremonial forms 
—rituals surrounding birth, death. pu- 
berty, marriage, and so on—helped indi- 
viduals in primitive societies re-establish 
equilibrium after some major adaptive 
event had taken place. “There is no 
evidence,” writes S. F. Kimball, “that a 
secularized uit world has lessencd the 
need for ritualized expression.” Carleton 
Coon points out that ritual survives to- 


day in the public appearances of heads 
of state, in religion. in business. These, 
however, represent the merest tip of the 


wal iceberg. In Western. societies, for 
example, the sending of Christmas cards is 
n annual ritual that not only represents 
contin ight but also helps 
individuals prolong their all-too-tempo- 
ndshipsoracquaintanceships. The 
mions of birthdays, holidays and 
anniversaries are additional examples. 
Repetitive behavior, whatever else its 
functions, helps give meaning to nonre- 
petitive events by providing the back- 
drop against which novelty is silhouetted. 
After examining 100 published anobi- 
ographies, sociologists James Bossard and 
Eleanor Boll found 73 in which the 
writers described procedures that were 
“unequivocally classifiable ay family rit- 
uals.” These rituals, arising from “some 
simple or random bits of family interac- 
tion, started to set, because they were so 
successful or satisfying to members, and 
nto very 
definite forms.” As the pace of change 
accelerates, many of these rituals are bro- 
ken down or denatured. Yet we struggle 
10 maintain them. One nonreligious fam- 
ily periodically offers a secular grace at 
the dinner table, to honor such benefac- 
tors of mankind as Johann Se 


ity in its own 


through repetition they *jelled" 


Bach or Martin Luther King, Jr. Hus- 
bands s olten speak of "our 
song" iodically revisit the place 
they first met. As we accelerate and in- 
troduce arhythmic patterns into the pace 
of change, we need to mark off certain 


regularities for preservation, e: 
way we now mark off certain p 
ess, historical monuments or 
sanctuaries for protection. We may even 
need to manufacture ritual. 

No longer at the mercy of the cle- 
ments, as we once were, no longer coi 
demned to darkness at night or frost in 
no longer positioned 
nging physical environment, we 
are helped to orient ourselves in space 
and time by social, as distinct from natu- 
ral, regularities. In the U. S., the arrival 
of spring is marked for most urban 


tly the 
ks, for- 
animal 


the morni: nan 


unch; 


dwellers not by a sudden greenness— 
there is little grecn in Manhattan—but 
by the opening of the baseball season. 
‘The first ball is thrown by the President 
or some other dignitary and, thereafter, 
millions of citizens follow the day-by-day 
nfolding of a mass ritual. Similarly, the 
end of summer is marked as much by the 
world series as by any natural symbol. 

Even those who ignore sports cannot 
help but be aware of these large and 
pleasantly predictable events. Radio and 
television carry baseball into every home. 
Newspapers are filled with sports news. 
Images of baseball form a kind of musi- 
cal obbligato that enters our awareness. 
Whatever happens to the stock market, or 
to world politics, or to family life, the 
American League and the National 
League rum through their expected mo- 
tions. Outcor of individual game: 
vary. The standings of the teams go up 
and down. The Mets astonish us all. But 
the drama plays itself out within a set of 
reassuringly durable rules. 

The opening of Congress every Janu- 
ary, the appearance of new car models 
in the fall, the seasonal variations in 
fashion. the April 15 deadline for filing 
income tax. the arrival of Christmas, the 
New Year's Eve party, the fixed national 
holidays—all these punctuate our time 
predictably, supplying a background of 
temporal regularity that is necessary 


(though hardly sufficient) for mental 
health. 

The pressure of change is to loosen 
many such events from the calendar, to 
irregularize them. These pressures should 
ally be resisted: and, indeed, 
larities should be introduced where they 
do not now exist. Boxing championship 
matches, for example, are held at um 
predictable Perhaps these 
highly ritualistic events should be held 
on fixed dates, ay the Olympic games 
are. As leisure increases, we have the 
opportunity to introduce additional 
ty points and rituals, such as new 
holidays, pageants and games. Such 
mechanisms would provide a backdrop 
of continuity in everyday life, serving to 
integrate societies and cushion them 
somewhat against the fragmenting im- 
pact of superindustiialism, We might, 
ample, create holidays to honor 
ileo or Mozart, John Lennon or Gale 
. Einstein or C ht 
te a global pageant based on man's 
conquest of outer space. 

Even now, the succession of dramatic 
space Iaunchings and capsule retriey 
beginning to take on a kind of ritual 
dramatic pattern. By regularizing such 
events and by greatly adding to the 
pageantry that surrounds them, we 
weave them into the ritual framework of 
the new society and use them as sanity- 
preserving points of temporal reference. 


an 


Such measures—the search for per- 
sonal stability zones, the provision of 
creative new social services, the design of 
ual and regularity into the emergent 
civilization—cannot, by themselves, guar- 
antee a livable future. To master the ac- 
celerative thrust, we shall require far 
more radical steps. We shall need to reg- 
ulate the technological drive. We shall 
need a revolution in our schools. We 
shall need a new stance toward the fu- 
ture itself, along with research centers 
for probing and postulating futures. We 
shall need more intelligent utopian ex- 
periments. We shall need to humanize 
and democratize our attempts to control 
large-scale social change. 

Nevertheless. in dealing with the great 
issues, we must ial, 
potentially explosive small-scale realities. 
now to apply social 
ion to the problems of adapta 
tion, unless we learn to prepare people 
for change and to cushion them against 
it, we condemn them—and ultimately 
ourselves—to the disease of change. Un- 
less we take accountof the adaptive limita- 
ns of the smallest. most important unit 
of all—the individual human organism— 
tomorrow will founder on future shock. 


This is the second of two articles on 
“Future Shock.” The first appeared in 


February. 


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cured for mildness and good 
taste. And the wrapper itself is 
tobacco sheet, That’s why they're 
called A&C Little Cigars. 

There are 20 A&C Little 
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Have a Little. You can 
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PLAYBOY 


176 


COUNTERREVOLUTION 


the Chicago area, an outfit called the July 
Fourth Movement is on the rise. They 
made their first public appearance in 
March 1969, when they disrupted a con- 
servative us. SDS debate at the Wright 
ampus of Chicago City College. shouting 
down Bernadine Dohrn, ex-national in 
tcrorganizational secretary of SDS. ("Be 
nadine was so mad she handcuffed herself 
al in che men's room afterward," 
ness reported. “She does that 


a YAF w 
every once in a while to get publicity. 

now why. No one ever pays any 
to 


n unless he wants use the 


) 
Bill Menc 

man of YAF, 

cops had ejected the July Fourth heck- 


lers, disavowing any connection between 
their group and his own. Weeks late 
several members of the moyement in 


vaded a party in the Edwardsville Holi 
day Inn, held after the open 
of YAF's Midwestern conference. They 
quickly handed out mimeographed sheets 
denouncing Mencarow as a traitor to the 
conservative cause. Then they ran like 
hell. the last infiluator barely escaping 
a roundhouse swing of Brad Evans’ right 
fit. A moment before, Evans had 
nounced that nothing the SDS did would 
ever provoke him to violence. (The con- 
uadiciory mood evident in Evans’ words 
nd behavior pervades the Right. Last 
April, baffled pacifists attending a ge 
outol-Vietnam rally in New York's c 
tral Park looked on while represen: 
of YAF and the National Youth Alliance 
engaged in a mass fisthght. Both groups 
had gone to the park to heckle the dem- 
onstrators but ran into each other first.) 
Despite their comic aspects, such inc 
dents illustrate the complexity of the 
relationships among far-right organiz: 
tions. Spokesmen for the July Fourth 
outfit described themselves as members 
of the New Right movement. The New 
Right is a cr n ol Breakthrough, 
Detroit youth group linked to the par 
military Minutemen. Several months ago, 
Breakthrough became the Michigan arm 
of the National Youth Alliance, with its 
leader—Parrick Tifer, then a student at 
Wayne State Uni iefly moving 
up to become national chairman of the 
NYA, His first official act was to expel 
Willis Carto fom membership and d. 
nounce the Liberty Lobby as crypto-Naz 
thus creating a schism within a schism. 
“The NYA has no connection at all 
with Liberty Lobby,” said Doug Clee. It 
was two weeks before Patrick Tifer's 
rprise move and Clee, then chief NYA 
administrative officer, was supervising the 
mailing of pamphlets and membership 
applications to nearly 10,000 college stu- 
dents. The scene was a room in Liberty 
Lobby headquarter: few blocks from 
the Capitol in Washington. D. C. The 
building has a giant steel eagle mounted 


(continued from page 138) 


over the front door. In addition to being 
chief administrative olficer of the NYA 
(at the time, anyway), Clee was manag- 
ing editor of Liberty Letter, the official 
Liberty Lobby publication. “The NYA 
rents office space here.” he said. 
Lots of organizations do. The Friends 
of Rhodesia, for instance. No connection 
all. Me? Oh, 1 took a leave of absence 
from my lar job to head up Youth 
for Wallace. When the kids decided to 
turn it into a permanent organization, 1 
volunteered to help out. J feel that sup- 
porting young people is a duty.” 
“Most of our members were in 
he said over a cup of coffee. “They got 
fed up with it. YAF isn't daring enough. 
How can a decent conservative stay with 
group that supports a liberal like Rich- 
d Nixon? Our kids have intelligence. 
‘They don't rationalize. They aren't afraid 
to say that the races are different. Not 
that we're anti-Negro. Far from it. I like 
to think we're doing more than others to 
help the Negro. You remember that old 
phrase, ‘the white man's burden? They 
don't use it much anymore. That's how 
I feel toward Negroes. The white man 
was wrong—unkind—io send the Negro 
out into an advanced civilization he'll 
never be able to handle. Those with the 
ipacity to lead should assume the obli- 
gations that capacity gives them.” Clee 
leaned across the table and clutched the 
listener's forearm. “I want to tell you 
something. Our kids arewt fooling 
around. They're ready to fight to the 
death for the honor of their country and 
the integrity of a constitutional republic. 
Most people think the end of the V: 


m war will bring peace. Don't you 
believe it. The liberals want peace so 
they can intervene in the Middle East. 


On which side?” He winked and relaxed. 
his grip. “Which side do you suppose? 
Not that I'm anu-Semitic. 1 don't have 
anything against loyal American Jews. 
We haye no business in the Middle East, 
that’s all. Besides, how would you get 
supplies to the troops? They cant even 
andie it properly in Vietnam. Now that 
the Russians control the Su l 
we'd really be in trouble. 
The Anti-Del jon League provided 
this reporter with the names of scvei 
NYA student leaders but had no record 
of their current. addresses and telephone 
numbers Doug Clee said he couldn't 
supply them. A few days later, the reason 
became evident: All had split with thei 
Liberty Lobby sponsors. The rupture be- 


gan during an NYA regional leadership 
conference held at a motel near Pitts 
burgh. The national officers of the group, 


veterans of Youth for Wallace, walked 
into the meeting room and discovered it 
to be packed with members of the Francis 
Parker Yockey Movement, a notorious 
S ization. The movement 
named for the author of Imperium, a 


racist tract once described as 
the right of Mem Kampf. 

“Drew Pearson n an item on the 
conference, but he got things all mixed 
up,” said one of the startled Wallacites. 
He was Dennis McMahon. a 19-year-old 
Fordham freshman. “He said the place 
was hung with Nazi banners. Oh, some 
of them wore jeweled swastika cuff links 
and the meeting began with everybody 
nging the Horst Wessel Sung, but there 
weren't any banners. Anyway, we were al- 
ready nervous about Willis Carto. He 
started a membership-drive contest with 
copies of Imperium as the prizes. We 
had trouble explaining that to the Jewish 
members.” (Another witness to the meet- 
ing was less blasé: “Those guys scared the 
hell out of me. One of them was walking 
nd with two loaded Lugers stuck in 
belt. For God's sake, don't use my 
name!” $ 
McMahon—plump, short, siolidly man- 
ered—is the son of a postoffice employee. 
parents in the Bay 
Ridge section of Brooklyn, He says that 
political 
ally proud when I'm on 
TV or PER quotes me in the news- 
papers. "That's one of the reasons I didn't 
want to get branded as a leader of the 
U. S. Hitler Youth. Neither did the other 
fellows. I guess we were pretty dumb 
where Carto was concemed. When the 
Youth for Wallace movement was getting 
started, we were broke. Carto stepped in 
nd lent us $40,000. After that, he tried 
to run everything. He must have been 
surprised when Pat Tiler turned on him. 
Pat was elected national chairman alter 
we all pulled out to form our own 
ional Youth Alliance. I don't know what 
will happen next. We've sent telegrams 
to J. Edgar Hoover and Representative 
Richard H. Ichord of the House Inter: 
Security Committee, asking for an inves 
tigation of the whole ng. We have! 
gouen any answers yel 

Without Carto's financial support, 
NYA quickly found itself 550.000 in 
debt. Tifer was forced to sell the tide 
and whatever tangible assets the group 
1 to 38-year-old Louis Byers, who had 
organized for Wallace in 1968 and was 
a former area coordinator for the John 
Birch Society. Byers told Washington 
Post reporter Paul Valentine 
Birchers expelled him because of his 
“publicly racist" views. Byers deposed 
Patrick. Lifer, and Doug Clee left to 
work full time for the Liberty Lobby. In 


“slightly t 


that the 


its present incarnation, the National 
Youth Alliance defines itself as a “hight 
ing movement” whose purpose is to 


crush radical student and black-power 
movements and also to assert the pos 
tive value of “Western destiny.” The 
image of Francis Parker Yockey is 
proudly displayed in NYA's office, and. 
his testament, /mperium, is well boosted 
by NYA publications. 

With the fr 


energies in intramural wars, it’s evident 
that—at least for the next academic year 
—Young Americans for Freedom will 
continue to dominate the conservative 
forces on campus. YAF's national chair- 
year-old law 
rsity of Wisconsin. 

Keene is, in some ways, typical of YAF 
members. Stocky and regular featured, 
he can discuss any phase of conservative 
politics with lucid, articulate precision. 
He is a native of Fort Atkinson, Wiscon- 
sin, where his father runs a tavern. Both 
his parents are registered Democrats and. 
former organizers for the United Auto- 
workers union. 

YAF has made mistakes," Keene said, 
“Big ones. In a way, we were responsible, 
partly, for the rise of the New Left. They 
really got th start with the civil rights 
movement in the early Sixties. The basis 
of conservatism—our kind, anyway 
the idea that the rights of the individual 


man is Dave Keene, a 2 
student at the Un 


are paramount. Logically, we should 
have led the drive for Negro equality, not 
ignored the whole issue.” Questioned 


about current YAF programs to advance 
racial justice. he hesitated for a moment. 
“Well.” he said, finally, "we support 
Nixon's black capita! idea. In the long 
run, that will do more good than all the 
welfare programs put together.” 

Like many college conservatives, Keene 
feels that the furor over SDS and black 
power is diverting Americans from the 
country's real troubles. "Except for tactics, 
we aren't far removed from the SDS on 
some points,” he said. "We're both react- 
ing against the liberal establishment, the 
superstate. That's the enemy. We just 
fight it in different ways. We usually have 
the more libertarian viewpoint, in fact. 
‘The New Left wants to abolish the draft 
in order to stop the Army from killing 
Communists. If the Vietnam war was 
against fascists and the SDS was in power, 
they'd draft their own grandmothers. YAF 
is for an all-volunteer military under any 
circumstances. We think conscription is a 
form of legalized slavery, a violation of 
individual rights. 

There is one subject on which virtual- 
ly every male college student—radical, 
liberal, noncommitted or conservative— 
agrees. He docsn’t want to go into the 
Army. Conservatives have a special dif- 
ficulty in justifying their feelings, how- 
ever. No other [action is also shouting 
for total victory in Vietnam. Attempts to 
resolve the contradict 
logically tortuous. “The draft is actual- 
ly holding the Army back technological- 
ly" New Jerseys Ralph Fucctola has 
suid. "Without a guaranteed pool of 
manpower to draw on, the Pentagon 
would develop machines to do most of 
the fighting.” But hadn't critics of Viet- 
nam strategy argued that the Army was 
already using too many machines for 
such limited, anti-gucrrilla combat? Fuce- 
tola: “They aren't the right machines! 


m are sometimes 


Keene is admittedly envious of one 
aspect of the New Left: “They have a 
sense of political community we can't 
match. They act together. I guess it's 
natural for a conservative to be basically 
a loncr. A lot of the leftists—and moder- 
ates, too—complain that they ve lost their 
identity, become numbers in a bureau- 
cratic machine that ignores their needs. 1 
never felt that, even when I was a fresh- 
man. 7 knew who I was. What difference 
did it make if most of my instructors 
didnt know who J was? The SDS re- 
cruits lots of members because they offer 
a smaller world of shared values within 
the university, a kind of refuge. Frankly, 
we don't and maybe we can't. It just 
isn't in our natures.” 

Not all college conservatives are as 
detached and theoretical as Keene. That 
evening, several members of the Madison 
chapter gathered for conversation and 
beer at the Brathaus, a restaurant near 
the campus. Possibly because it was rain- 
ing, their mood was listless, It picked up 
when the door burst open to reveal a 
tiny, pale youth, accompanied by an 
equally diminutive blonde with shy blue 
eyes and a wistful smile. Their clothes 
were soaked, their hair plastered damply 
to their skulls. 


“We've been putting up posters for 
the meeting tomorrow night,” the young 
man said, heading for the table. He 
removed a sample poster from a plasti 
wrapped bundle under his left arm, 
which was in a plaster cast up to the 
elbow. “Pretty good, eh? Silk screen. 
"Took me hours to design it. Irene and I 
have been putting them up since six this 
morning. n't even stop when it 
rained,” 

“The meeting’ been canceled," said 
the chapter's information officer. 

A reporter sitting at the table expect- 
ed the student to explode with anger on 
hearing the news so belatedly. Instead, 
he shrugged, casually threw away the 
remaining posters and sat down. “I in- 
filtrate,” he volunteered. “Irene here 
helps me. We've infiltrated lots of things. 
You name it and I'll infiltrate it. That's 
my thing. Infiltration.” He went on to 
unfold a wild saga of deception, be 
trayed trust and quasi burglary, mitigat- 
ed by a lack of guilt so total that it 
almost charming. Herc at last was thc 
real thing—a freewheeling, life-loving, 
kick'enrin-the-balls, all-American zany. 
And he was only 19 years old. 
infiltrator said with a 
cheery, lopsided grin. “He's the head of 


‘Nothing personal, Tex, but would you 
mind taking off your guns?” 


177 


PLAYBOY 


178 


the Communist Party in Wisconsin. In- 
filtrated his headquarters in Milwaukee 
this summer. Hung around for three 
weeks, stealing all kinds of papers. 
Turned ‘em over to the FBI. Infiltrated 
the Young Socialist Alliance right alter- 
ward. I dated one of their leaders, got all 
kinds of valuable information." lrene's 
smile briefly disappeared. “Infiltrated the 
drug scene here at school. There's a 
hamburger joint down the street where 
all the real junkies hang out. Learned all 
about them. gave their names to the 
Madison policc. Big bust. Last mayoral 
election, I was ward campaign manager 
for all three candidates. Really blasted 
the two I didn't like. Slapped their 
bumper stickers on the rear windows of 
cars, made telephone campaign pitches 
at one A.M., stuff like that.” 

He took a deep breath, downed half a. 
stein of heer and held up his plaster cast 
for inspection. “Got this infiltrating the 
SDS. Went to one of their meetings a 
few weeks ago, started writing down the 
names of everybody there. Guy came 
over and said, “You can't do that.’ “This 
in open meeting on school property, 
id right back. "Who's going to stop 
turned out 
shts, Crrack! "They dislocared my 
. Bc in a cast for another threc 
weeks. Chicago peace people had a big 
anti-Vietnam parade on Easter. Irene 
and I infiltrated the hell out of that one. 
Got there two days before the parade, 
went to the home of Mrs. Bit Lewis 
Crazy name. She's a wheel in Women for 
Peace. Told her we were in town for the 
parade, had no money, no place to stay. 
She took us in for the night. Stole all her 
papers, turned them in to the Ch 
police's Red squad, 

Was Mrs. Bit Lewis a Red? 

“Don’t really know. Anyway, the Red 
squad took the stulf. Next night, we 
went to the house of Dr. Maxwell Pri- 
mak, head of the Chicago Peace Council. 
Told him the same story and he took us 
in. Got away with the council's entire 
membership list. Really cut loose next 
day in the parade. They made us m. 
shals, gave us offi prons and stulf. 
Every time we ran across somebody who 
looked like a sincere pacifist, we threw 
him out of the parade. Figure it must 
have created a lot of resentment. When 
I'm not infiltrating, I keep busy other 
ways. Like ripping down SDS and black- 
militant posters. You know, they actually 
ple those things to trees! Got a lot of 
fine old trees on this campus. Put 
enough staples in a tree and it'll die. I'm 
conservationist as well as a conserva- 
tive." His expression saddened. “I hardly 
ever have enough time to take out the 
staples after I rip down a poster. It's a 
shame.” 

Half an hour later, he and Trene left 
the Brathaus, with th joined hands. 


1 
me? Some son of a bitch 


the [i 


swinging, the way Donald O'Connor and 
Janct Leigh used to do it in thosc old col- 
lege musicals, One student stared after 
them, admiration in his eyes, "You 
know,” he said, “if we had ten more like 
him, we'd really be in business.” 

If YAF has a true cultural hero at the 
moment, it is probably Phillip Abbott. 
Luce. During the early Sixties, he was a 
leader of the Maoistoriented Progressive 
Labor Party. editing their monthly maga- 
zine. In 1063 and 1964, the Government 
indicted him for leading illegal student 
trips to Cuba. He was acquitted both 
times. Born in Springfield, Ohio, he holds 
an M. A. in political science from Ohio 
State. Besides lecturing frequently on 
campuses, he writes a column for The 
New Guard, YAF's monthly publication, 
and is the co-author of The Intelligent 
Student's Guide to Survival, a witty 
manual on methods of co 
lege rebellion. He had lived in La Jolla, 
California, but has moved recendly to 
Washington, D.C, and is currently Di- 
rector of College Services for YAF. 

The highlight of YAF's Middle Atlan- 
tic regional conference was a cocktail 
party for Luce, held in New York's Com. 
modore Hotel. It was sparsely attended, 
probably because of the ten-dollar admis- 
sion price, too steep for most of the stu- 
dent delegates. The guest of honor arrived 
e, having been trapped for two hours 
in a holding pattern over Kennedy air- 
port. Understandably, he headed straight 
for the liquor table, trailed by his lovely, 
oliveskinned wife 

Luce is a lean, slightly stoop-shoul- 
dered man with curly, Jong-sideburned, 


a tough combinat: 

sodas later, he discussed the reasons for his 

political about-face. “It wasn't the com 
icated, soul 


g business people 
imagine,” he said. "I was just too 
damned young when I went into the 


P.L.P. T rose fast, because they didn't 
have anybody else in those days, It was 
their mistake to give me so much respon- 


sibility. Later, when I'd split, they a 
cused me of being gcois radical. 
1 think they were right. I've always been 
a libertarian fust. I got fed up with the 
P. L. P. when I realized it was becoming 
a totalitarian movement. In lots of ways, 
YAF isn't that much different from the 
New Left.” (He had a point. Ata con- 
ference business meeting that afternoon, 
Ralph Fucetola had introduced a resolu- 
tion advocating the legalization of LSD 
and prostitution. It was tabled.) 

The day before, club-swinging cops 
had temporarily put down the first New 
Left strike at Harvard. “They're doing 
the same dumb things all over agai 
Luce commented in disgust. “And now 
the politicians are cooking up bills to 
outlaw SDS. All cops and 


bou 


ive laws 


do is radicalize more students. Out 
California, older people actually get mad 
when YAF says the students themselves 
should stop the radicals, the way Harvey 
Hukari—he's the YAF chairman at St 
ford—and his people recaptured a build- 
ing from the SDS several months ago. 
Every time I'm on television, I get 
phone calls from middleaged women 
who say: ‘College students are too young 
to understand these matters. Leave it to 
the police.’ Jesus! You know what con- 
servatives in California are really uptight 
abou Sex education! They're crazy 
mad to stamp out sex education. I told 
one guy: "Buddy, soon you will be able 
10 stop worrying about sex educatio 
All the schools will be burned down. 

Campus conservatives aren't nearly as 
respectful of their elders as most people 
believe. Stanford’s Harvey Hukari, Jr., is 
a case in point. Physically, he looks farther 
left than Mark Rudd—shoulder-length 
hair, Mao jacket, cord bell-bottoms, etc. 
"It makes me a little more difficult for 
the SDS to attack,” he said, going on to 
rap Max Rafferty, California's state super- 

nendent of education, an idol of the 
Old Right: “I dont object to Ralferty 
politically. I object to him aesthetically. 
All that flag waving. Rafierty and Joe 
Pyne [a West Coast TV and radio per- 
sonality] are examples of people we don't 
need. What we do need are people with 
style and wit, people who are hip to the 
media. Like Jerry Rubin.” 

Later in the evening, Phil Luce grew 
more somber. "You know what I'm 
afraid of?" he said. “Becoming a profes 
sional ex-Corumunist. They won't admit 
it, but lots of New Leftists go into a 
slump when they're out of school. There 
isn’t any adult apparatus, like the old- 
style Communist Party, to keep their 
interest up. A while back, I had a public 
debate with Bettina Aptheker. You re. 
member—she was the queen of the Pro 
gressive Labor Party a few years ago. 1 
could sce she just wasnt having fun 
anymore, standing there spouting the 
ame old crap. She has a husband and a 
baby now. You settle down when you 
have a baby. I hardly had the heart to 
attack her. 

Luce’s own noticeably pre 
wandered over. They were married after 
meeting at a YAF convention, “Tell him 
about your mothe 


ant wile 


she teased. When 
Luce winced in embarrassment, she went 
on: “His mother made him get a haircut 
she and my father-in-law came out 
to visit last month. It was right down to 
his coat collar. She came in and said, 
“Phil, you head straight to the barber- 
shop this minute." " 

“I hadn't seen my father in eight 
years,” Luce cut in. “He owns a drug- 
store in Illinois. We had a fight when 
I joined P. L. P. Now we're reconciled.” 

Barbara Luce smiled her approval 
“We're thinking of moving to Mexico. 


whe 


Phil wants to do some real wi 
political. Besides, I'm awfully nervous in 
La Jolla. The radicals are carrying guns 
out there now and they all hate Phil 
They follow me around when 1 research 
his articles at the University of Califor. 
in San Diego. He keeps changing his 
ancc— different hair styles, a beard 
imes—to fool them. I'd really be 
less nervous in Mexico.” 

Luce’s account of his difficulties with 
older West Coast conservatives hinted at 
test source of frustration, In 
the words of political historian George 
Penty: "No creature on the globe has 
more contempt for the young than the 
successful Americam businessman." For 
all the bumper stickers and. posters and 
buttons, YAF remains virtually unknown 
outside the colleges. Part of the resulting 
pain is financial. The organization, ac 
cording to its leaders, has more trouble 
raising money than does SDS. At times. 
YAF members almost seem to envy the 
fear and confusion generated in the adult 
community by the New Left, since fear 
and confusion at least indicate a perverse 
kind of respect. "I've had dozens of de- 
bates with leftists like Tom Hayden. 
Rennie Davis and Paul Krassner,” Dave 
Keene said resentfully, “A lot of the pro- 
grams were set up by business and pro- 
fessional groups. You can imagine how 
1 felt when I learned most of them were 
g the radicals $1000 to appear and 
getting only S250. T turn the fees 
over to charity, anyway, but it still burned 
me up. Now I insist on the same amount 
the left receives 

The problem was visible on another 
level during the Edwardsville conference. 
The restaurant and cocktail lounge at 
the Holiday Inn became saturated with 
hostility whenever a large number of 
YAF delegates appeared. The older 
guests—middleaged married couples, 
businessmen, prosperous-looking farmers 
—just didn't know who those chattering. 
pamphlerwaving kids were. And they 
suspected the wort. The reaction was 
almost epileptic in two burly, balding 
men who seemed to be semipermanent 
occupants of the bar. At the very sight of 
à YOUNG AMERICANS FOR FREEDOM badge, 
their faces knotted with anger. That the 
words young and freedom could be ap- 
plied to an organization defending a 


iting. Non- 


great many things they held dear was 
dearly beyond their comprehension. 
Their fears were confirmed when a 


pper young Negro and a white report- 
er wearing YAF badges—required for 
admission to the formal sessions—sat 
down at the bar. Larry Sumner, 2 
education major at Southern Illinois Uni 
versity. The son of a school custodian in 
nearby Cahokia, he was attending the 
conference to plug his candidacy for pres- 
ident of the university's Young Republi- 
cans. He did not belong to YAF. (The 
organization has a few black members, 


an 


What's nice about being king is I dish it 


out but I don't have to take it!” 


but none of them were on the campuses 
visited by the reporter) “I just dont 
believe you can have real civil rights 
progress without order" Sumner 
£ ‘That's why I 
supported Nixon. I think he'll fulfill his 
word to blacks. No one expects much 
him. A man in that position can 
accomplish more than someone who's 
promised people the impossible." 

Asked if he had considered joining 
htly. "I don't 
ve some good 


know," he began. 
people, but 

Before he could finish the remark, one 
of the staring businessmen left his com- 
panion at the other end of the bar, sat 
down next to Sumner and prodded the 
student's YAF badge with a heavy fore- 
finger. "Do you mind very much if 1 ask 
you somethin?” he said in the unctu 
ly polite tone that often precedes a 
punch in the mouth. “Whit is this outht, 
anyway? You gonna tell me? 

"Glad to," S 
Americans for Freedon 
tion of college students dedicated to ad- 
vancing the cause of civil libertarianism 
nd reducing—or, preferably, climinat- 
ing—the power of the state to control 
the national economy." 

The man squinted. It sounded like 
communism to him. Then he nodded 
curtly and returned. to his friend. The 
stage whispers began immediately: “God- 
damned radicals coming in where they're 
not wanted. . . . This black-power shit 
has gone too far. . . . Ought to round up 
the whole lousy bunch and—" 


Besides hinting at one reason for L 
Sumner's not having joined the Young 
Americans for Freedom, the incident illus 
trated anew the paradox that dogs every 
campus conservative. He is just as alien 
ed from mainstream U.S. culture as 
the sandalwearing. bearded leftist he 
derides. YAF leaders repeatedly empha 
they share enemies with the New 
Five years ago, most right-wingers 
would have been keclhauled before mak 
ing such an admission. But it is now 
literally true—although the character of 
the enemy exists mainly in the eye of the 
beholder. To Tom Hayden and Eldridge 
Cleaver, university administra nd 
the Federal Government are dominated 
by bland, hypocritical front men for cap 

i i veiled racial hate and 
a fascist military. To Dave Keene and 
Phil Luce, the same establishment figures 
are whining liberals out to crush individ- 
ual initiative and, perhaps unintention- 
ally, lay the groundwork for a Communist 
takeover Both factions agree that symp- 
toms of disease exist, disagree on the 
nature of the malady—but are often curi 
ously dose when proposing a cure. The 
unlimited personal “libertarianism” of the 
farthes-out YAF cliques would create a 
society virtually identical to that envi- 
sioned by the New Left's dreamier anarch- 
Behind both philosop 
profound—if confused and semiarticulate 
distrust of every phase of economic, so- 
cial and political life in America, In short. 
the center had better watch the hell out. 


chat 


ic 


s lies a 


179 


PLAYBOY 


SWINGING ON THE STARS (continued jrom page 151) 


of his famous congeniality charts haven't 
turned out too well, eg, Linda Chris- 
tian and Tyrone Power, Zsa Zsa and 
George Sanders, Arlene Dahl and several 
calamities. Nor did his prediction that 
Leoborn Leo Durocher, then managing 
the Giants would "have an extremely 
good year.” ‘The Giants finished in fifth 
place that season; but as astro-observer 
Robert Wallace puts it: "It is no crime 
to coat the old pill with moonshine in- 
stead of sugar.” 

Though Righter dauntlessly coats the 
pill with publicity, charm, courtesy and 
innate cunning, it is no mere planetary 
placebo with him. "I take my work dead 
seriously.” he says, "and when it doesn't 
help someone, T am very, very sory. 
When I was told, at 14, that I should be 
an astiologian, I thought it was idiotic, 
but after 16 years of study, I believed. 


Mother said, ‘I have hatched a duckling. 
Well, quack, quack. I love peopl 
m 


AL 
lile I have wanted to help people. 
he more people who can be told about 
astrology, amd convinced, the better. 1 
always say, “The stars impel, they do not 
compel! And what you make of your life 
is largely up to you. Everyone is reaching 
for something. I don't think people can 
be astrosocial and still be communistic, 
aud I feel Ive been helpful in that 
respect. Astrology fascinates and aids. 
Even those who say, I don’t believe in 
that stuff” usually add, "but I'm a Virgo. 
‘Tell me about me." Pappy very much 
wanted to tell Marilyn Monroe about 
her, but admits he was on the wrong 
astral frequency: "I told her that she was 
born under the sign of Gemini, the same 
Judy Garland. Roz Rusell and Erol 
She looked at me as if I were 
id: ‘I know nothing about 
them. I was born at the same time as 
ph Waldo Emerson, Walt Whitman 
and Queen Victoria!’ " 

"Nine out of every ten people you 
meet today can tell you their sun sign,” 
says Sydney Omarr, who is known in the 
uade as "the astrologer's astrologer.” 
Like Righter, Hollywood-based Omarr 
counsels the stars (Kim Novak, Jennifer 
Jones, et al), is syndicated world-wide 
bout 
ians to draw up a 
cause that part of astrology bores him. 
Unlike Righter, Oman's astrological dig- 
gings and several surprisingly solid books 
have drawn critical orchids from reputa- 
ble writers, fellow astrologers and even 
scientists. After years of personal abuse 
and professional obloquy, he was consid- 
erably bolstered by the admission of the 
late John J. O'Neill. Pulitzer Prize-win- 
ning sci 
Herald Tribune, that “astrology is one 
of the most important fields for scientific 
research today, and one of the most 


nce editor of the late New York 


180 neglected. . . . No stigma of any kind 


should be associated with it in the mind 
of any scientist or layman. 

While O'Neill admitted that "we 
know very little about the array of forces 
that are impinging on the earth" from 
afar, he concluded: "Ihe hypothesis of 
the astrologers that. different [terrestrial] 
effects will be produced by different 
configurations of the heavenly bodies is 
entirely consistent with modern develop- 
ments in the field of chemistry, in which 
the properties of substances are stated in 
terms of the architectural configurations 
of the atoms within the molecules, and 
with the theories of the atom physicists 
t the properties of the atoms are 
jated with the orbital architecture 
of the electro: 

"Though that is hardly the sort of stuff. 
guaranteed to capture the imagination of 
the average fellow, it goes a long way 
toward shoring up the battered egos of 
beleaguered astrologers and dissipating 
the lunatic fringe’s effect on the so-called 
pseudo sciences, or, in Omarr's argot, 
"scientific arts.” And he has practiced 
them all, from reading palms at $100 a. 
throw in Bricktop's Mexico City boite to 
writing am cightdollar book based on 
astrological and numerical symbolism 
(now in its eighth edition). He is the 
only member of the Armed Forces ever 
assigned fulltime duty as an astrologer: 
Omarr was serving in the Air Corps on 
Okinawa when he accurately forecast the 
end of the War in the Pacific l pre- 
dicted F. D. R.'s fourth-term election and 
death in office. The Armed Forces Radio 
immediately borrowed him to create a 
show in which he charted and analyzed 
horoscopes of hundreds of Servicemen, 
drawing the paunchiest mailbags of any 
show on Government airwaves 

He is even more in de nd on radio 
and TV today, but the National Asso- 
ciation of Broadcasters technically bars 
Oman’s nce on member sta- 
tions with a fusty code that says: "Pro- 
gram material featuring fortunctelling, 
occultism, astrology, phrenology, palm 
reading. numerology, m ng or 
character reading is able when. 
presented [or the purpose of fostering 
belief in these subjects" Nevertheless, 
Four-Star International, currently shoot- 
g a halhour TV pilot around Omarr, 
hopes to circumvent the code with the 
same disclaimer used by Carroll Righter' 
radio sponsors: “This program is being 
presented solely for your entertainment. 
and is not intended to foster a belief in 
astrology." 

Actually, Sydney Omarr has done as 
much as anyone to deflect the ridicule 
that traditionally is heaped upon the 
horoscope by the establishment sciences. 
He admits that the daily forecasts, on 
which many astrologers must depend for 
a living, are far "too general and super- 
" to work. But most are based only 


on the sun sign, and he is one of the few 
who takes the time to use the position of 
the moon and other planets in relation 
to cach sign. “I cause amusement, but I 
don't cause harm. I never found anyone 
who did anything but benefit by astrol- 
ogy, if only to get a laugh.” Moreover. 
he does not claim the planets have the 
power to cause events to occur nor to 
cause people to respond the way they do. 
“What we do daim is that there is a 
correspondence, a coincidence between 
the planetary patterns and mundane ac- 
tions, reactions, events. Jung uses the term 
synchronicity. There is a synchronicity. 
We don't know why this should be. But 
it happens so often that it is a reliable 
indicator. Prediction per se is skating on 
thin ice. Astrology merely points the way 
to self-knowledge.” 

As the accumulated “knowledge” of 
the effect on man of all forces bombard- 
ing him from outer space, astrology has 
made herculean efforts to point the way 
since the beginning of time, In prehisto- 
ry, the heavenly processions were doubt- 
less studied for signs that might give 
some sensible form to man’s intuitions, 
his psychic rumblings and sneaking sus- 
picions of the cosmic order. Ruth Oliver, 
board member of the American Federa- 
tion of Astrologers, a Vassar dropout and 
authority on ancient astrology, says that 
cording to Mesopotamian tradition, the 
zodiac was discovered between 8000 m.c. 
and 6000 v.c., "at which time the winter 
solstice was the beginning of the year and 
the sun appeared against the constellation 
of Aries at that moment of the yea 

Sometime between 4000 r.c. and 2000 
BG, the beginning of the year was 
changed to the vernal equinox, “when 
the sun appeared at that time of year 
against the constellation. of Tamus,” 
which marked the beginning of the wor- 
ship of the bull in various parts of the 
world, notably Egypt. The ancients made 
constant adjustments “as new constella- 
tions slipped into place behind the 
equinocti 


us, 


and solstitial positions,” 
Miss Oliver, but even this so 
ing zodiac got its final polish around 1850 
Bc It was, she says, virtually the same 
zodiac that Ptolemy used almost 2000 
years later and that is still in use today. 
Along the way, the study of the he: 
ens went through hell. A bloody shame 
in some societies, it became a bloody 
faith in others. It was not unusual, says 
another astrohistorian, for a major event 
in the heavens to be acknowledged by “a 
ritual murder rivaling the blood baths of 
the Aztecs.” By the time of the Babylo- 
nian Empire, astrologers were considered 
the wisernen. of the ancient world and 
archaeological evidence indicates that they 
founded the first universities, arranged the 
first me the first astrono- 
mers icians and physicians 
and built the first skyscrapers (the fabled 
ziggurats, or observatories) above the 


alled evolv- 


“Tf you would get home on time, I wouldn't 
have to entertain your friends!” 


181 


PLAYBOY 


182 


Chaldean plain, Every Assyrian king em- 
ployed astrologers. The Greeks adapted 
the same solar zodiac and ascribed to the 
planers those Olympian names which the 
Romans promptly cucaged to their own 
corresponding gods, 

he Bible remains filled with astrolog- 
ical symbolism; and although the Catho- 
lic Church ultimately outlawed astrology, 
the Vatican is said to have the biggest 
astrolibrary in the world: and the Pope 
still bathes in a tu tid with the 12 
zodiacal signs. In the Second Century 
AD., Ptolemy wrote a fascinating source 
book on astrology called Tetrabiblos, in 
h he predicted all sons of dire fates 
(‘death by beheadings.” “death by the 
halter or scourge”) for those who 
nored the malefic angles and aspects of 
their charts. But he also Geated the more 
benign subject of astromercorology ("Ve 
nus in Virgo brings rains and favors the 
crops of Amurru”), the principles of which 
are still written into the Farmers Alma 
nac and employed by scientists in predict- 


ing weather conditions in the ionosphere. 

During medieval times, astrology sur- 
vived in the monasteries, of all places: 
and not a few of the Renaissance Popes 
hired astrologers on a full-time basis 
Whiters from Chaucer to Dante and from 
Shakespeare to Goethe loaded their poems 
and plays with astrosymbols (though 
Dante ultimately came to cill his faith 
the Love which moves the sun and other 
stars," not the orher way around). During. 
the 16th Century. Nostradamus. cradled 
his predictions in cunning little conun- 
drums to titillate the three kings hc 
served, and they have iner- 
preted to explain the fire of London, the 
rise of Cromwell, the birth of Napoleon, 
the French Revolution and both World 


ncc be 


ileo struck. “the royal art” a near 
fatal blow when he proved with his tele. 
scope in 1613 that Copernicus was right: 
The earth did revolve around the. sun. 
The resulting astronomy-astrology breach 


has never been closed. though astrologers 


“He claims he was only nibbling her ear and attempting 
to look down her dress. So, i's up to you to prove 


he was cheating, Briggs. 


—holding fast to their Aristotelian, earth- 
centered horoscope—claim that they have 
been vindicated by Einstein's theory of 
relativity, with its assumption of a point 
of reference that, says Ruth Oliver, “may 
shift according to the convenience and the 
intention of the observer, and from which 
one may observe the apparent movements 
of other bodies." In short, the earth is as 
functional a point of reference as the sun 
for contemplating the cosmos. 


But between Galileo and Einstein, 
Western astrology had is own Dark 
Ages, in which it was dismissed as a 


superstition at worst, at best a fossil 


science for fossil hi ns And except 


for part-time poeti 


as a secret art unt herine Thomp- 
son's short-lived vogue in Boston and 
Evangeline Adams’ gaudy one all over 
the Eastern seaboard. To her Carnegie 
Hall salon came artists, writers, students, 
Enrico Caruso and J. P. Morgan, her 
most famous client, She was thrown off 
radio for making a prediction about the 
kidnaped Lindbergh baby. 

But Miss Adams is best known for 
having tested an archaic New York law 
sirologers with “acrobatic 
. Circus riders, men who desert 
es and people who pretend to 
Armed with “a mass of 
evidence thar reached as far back as the 
Babylonian seers” she marched into 
court charged. with fortunetelling and 
marched out again with am acquittal 
Fortunetelling is still illegal in New 
York, but astrologers a 
cured and even advertise their 
in the Yellow Pages, a practice still pro- 
hibited in most U. S. cit 

Benjamin Franklin gave astrologic 
advice in his Almanack and Theodore 
Roosevelt kept his engraved natal chart 
on the chessboard near his White House 
desk. In 1922. Marc Edmund Jones, the 
dean ol U.S. astrologers amd the first 
(bur, alas. hardly the 1 
classic cliché “It works," m 
tacular prediction: In the fall of 
when Neptune entered Libr 
mic event would alter the comse of hi 
tory. And. sure enough, in the fall of 
that year. the ic age was bom with 


that classed 
perform 
their wi 
tell fortunes. 


e no longer prose- 
prowess 


the first laborator alled nucl 
reaction. 

Practically everyone clai 
predicied John Kennedy's 
and, for some re 


tinue to marshal tons of 
unscientific 


evidence 10 


tüitous 
and olen connadictory 
illustrate the accuracy. of 
their forecasts of this tragic event. The 
day before the President was shot, the 
New York Daily News's astrologer, Coi 
stella (Shirley Spencer), walked out of 
TV studio when pressed about the Ken- 
nedys, on whom she had just done horo- 
scopes. “All of the charts showed a severe 
disturbance," she explained later. “| Jack] 
had had an eclipse on his Saturn, He had 


taken office under the fatal conjunction of 
Saturn and Jupiter. I was afraid.” 
As early as 1958, and again in 1 


crack astrologer Carl Payne Tobey pre- 
dicted that the next President would 
die in ofice. Carroll Righter lamely 


claims that just before J. F. K. died, he 
warned Robert Cunmi who had the 
same signs and aspects as the President, 

to be careful. (Nobody shot at Cum- 
mings) And as she seems fond of point- 
ing out, Jeanne Dixon, the seres of 
D. C., forecast back in 1956 that “a blue- 
eyed Democratic President,” elected in 
1960, would die in office; but stro- 
watcher Richard Armstrong points out, 
she marred it by predicting in 1960 that 
brown-cyed Richard Nixon would win, a 
mauer that seems to have been over- 
looked in the best seller about her sooth- 
saying successes. 

When they are asked about predic- 
tions that go wrong, astrologers’ eyes 
tend to glaze over and they manage to 
change the subject swiftly, know 
more go wrong than right. E 
world predictions none of which, at 
least at this writing, has been realized, 
are as old as astrology itself, whi 
old as time. Famous astrologers predicted. 
world inundation by water for 1186 and 
1524, both years of spectacular droughts. 
In 1939, the top British astrologers 
agreed unanimously that there would be 
no war; when it came, they predicted the 
end would come the following year with 
the end of Hitler. Constella predicted 
that Eisenhower would not be a candi- 
date for reelection in 1956 and admon- 
ishe You'd better bec on a Democrat 
++. the luckiest may be Averell Harri 
man." Jeanne Dixon predicted that Wal- 
ter Reuther would be a candidate for the 
Presidency in 1964. And in 1966, Zoltan 
S. Mason predicted that when Jupiter 
transited through the zenith of Jackie 
Kennedy's birth chart in the summer of 
1968, she would be "strongly in the public 
eye in connection with important assi 
ments of political and diplomatic duties. 
But Jacqueline will not marry again. She 
belongs to her country. This is what the 
t the time of her 


From his Institute of Abstract Science 
n Tucson, Carl Tobey predicted that 
the war in Viemam would end on De- 


the sun was square with 
d Jupiter and Uran 
conjunct with the nodes. He saw Ronald 
s the Jikely Republican Presi- 
al choice—"he's got the horoscope 
to shoot all the way through"—and 
looked for James Rhodes of Ohio to “play 
an important role in the campaign." 
Yet today, with a coast-to-coast audi 
roaching 10,000,000, Tobey 
remains unflappable. He feels that racial 
strife won't end until the closing days of 
1970, when Neptune will have passed 
through its H-year Scorpio cycle. "Then 


“You must be pretly hard up for customers.” 


X very emotional religious revival will 
sweep the country,” lasting another 14 
years. As for 1970 politicos, Spiro Agnew 
"can have poctical moments of confusion 
nd should be on guard against off-the- 
cult remarks that can be misunderstood. 
Hubert Humphrey may be found run- 
ning around in multiple directions si- 
multaneously. Gerald Ford can have 
some rea] problems if he allows his re- 
sentments to build up. J. William Ful- 
bright doesn’t have an easy road a 
—he should watch the health factor. Bar- 
ry Goldwater can be depended upon to 
do the unexpected. Ted Kennedy will be 
happier in private life. But he will con- 
tinue to leave too much to the publics 
imagination.” 


re the stuff that 
headlines are made on, Tobey fcels deep- 
ly that “what people are secking today is 
not predictions but understanding.” His 
real love is the mathematical-scientific 
approach to astrology. "Astrology is a 
study of geomeny,” he says. "It is an 
acausal phenomenon. And a horoscope is 
the equivalent of a mathematical formu- 
Ja. It is the mathematical pattern accord- 
ing to which one human life functions. 
But we suddenly find ourselves classified 
hot as scientists, philosophers or religious 
people but as entertainers. We are in 
show business.” 

In an effort to sce that astrologers 
become better classified, Tobey has made 
exhaustive statistical studies, A sampling: 
In a survey of 91 hysterectomies, limiting 
himself to the study of aspects, he found 
that square aspects of the planets to 


Mars (with which surgery has long been 
identified) were above chance expectan- 
cy. He studied 500 far people and con- 
cluded that obesity is more common in 
Libra women than in any other. In 100 
charts of premature widows, he found a 
preponderance of Mars-Uranus afflictions, 
concluding: “I know these women arc 
sexual as hell and I strongly suspect they 
wore the men out. Death was their only 
escape. T warned one woman with a Mars 
Uranus chart not to marry; she went 
ahead and her husband d 
morning." And in a survey of the sun 
signs of 100,000 people, he found that 
those born in winter were most likely to 
enter the professions (law, medicine, teach- 
ing), while those born near the summer 
solstice had a commerccand-industry 
bent, with the Cancer male most likely 
to succeed. 

Tobey is regularly consulted by Ca 
fornia, Arizona and Texas millionaires 
and ranchers and by Wall Street broker 
age firms; even the Foundation for the 
Study of Cydes at the University ol 
Piusburgh has sought his counsel on 
xtraterrestrial causes of cycles.” He is 
proud to have sat at the desk of John 
Nelson of RCA-Communications "while 
he drew some diagrams and showed me 
how sunspots cin be predicted by follow. 
ing the motions and aspects of the pl. 
cts.” For more than 20 years, Nelson has, 
with more than 90 percent accuracy, pre- 
dicted disturbances in the earth's mag- 
netic field by studying planetary aspects. 
lt was to Nelson that the Electronics 
Research Center of NASA turned when 


d the next 


183 


PLAYBOY 


faced with the problem of solar flares, 
which can now be predicted by studying 
the planets. 

‘Tobey likes to remind skeptical astron- 
omers that use of the planets to predict 
weather was advocated by Ptolemy in 
) AD, adding: “Despite the fact that 
astronomers are open enemies of astrolo- 
gy on the surface, I have acted as an 
astrological advisor to a number of the 
most prominent astronomers in their 
personal lives—one of whom is conduct- 
ing an astrology practice on the side in 
a large Midwestern university. 

While astronomers may be astrologi 
foremost enemies, they are hardly the 
most vociferous. USC psychologist Chay- 
tor Mason indignantly contends, “You 
an find fairly strong belief in the sub 
ject by people who tend to be paranoi- 
dal. ‘Loo, we are in a period of enormous 
social upheaval and flux, with the old 
cultural conventions breaking down. Free- 
dom produces anxiety. So with increased 
freedom, you need other ways of secking 
nswers to problems of an indefinite fu- 
ture. Thus, many psychologists look upon 
the need for astrology as a sign of monu- 
mental insecurity; others go so far as to 
suggest even mental illness. 

Dr. Charles Wahl, prominent analyst 
and professor of psychosomatic me: 
at UCLA's Neuropsychiatric Institute, 
goes further: “I've seen astrology and the 
reliance on horoscopes do decided psydio- 
logical harm, and my view corresponds 
with almost all scientifically educated. per- 
sons, in that astrology is a system of belief 
ned without any shred of scientific 
proof e all species of irrationality, 
it does, in the long run, incredible harm. 
It also gives charlatans an enormous ad- 
tage in preying on the minds of the 
casily influenced.” 

Though the American Federation of 
Astrologers, which requires members to 
take tests and sign a code of ethics, tries 
to police astiology’s ranks, “to get rid of 
the frauds, fakers and pretenders,” it is 
n uphill battle. As Ruth Oliver points 


va 


out: “Fortunetellers put horoscopes in 
their tents to stay out of jail." Morcover, 
she feels that "it is unfair for psychol- 


s to take a person who relies on 
(ology as a crutch as an indication of 
hat astrology is all about. Astrology 
does not pretend to be psychology, but 
the psychologist often feels it gives a 
more rapid insight into a person and 
asks the astrologer for a chart of his 
patie 

She is correct. One New York psy- 
choanalyst says: “I think a horoscope is 
more useful than a Rorschach test. The 
latter shows only a patient's condition at 
the time the test is taken. The horoscope 
reveals his basic psychological setup.” 

It was when he was doing psychologi- 
cal counseling of prisoners at San Quen- 
tin that an inspired eccentric named 
Gavin Arthur decided to employ astrolo- 


194 gy furtively: "I knew I could help them 


much more if 1 could do their horo- 
scopes, though I'd have undoubtedly 
been fied if anyone found out; but I 
always told them that heredity and envi- 
ronment play a large part, too. There 
arc three ways to tell about a person: 
(1) from the genotype, that is, the genes 
in your making; (2) the shape of the 
macrocosm into which you emerge, set- 
ing its seal upon you. which is astiolo- 
gy; and (3) the environment. you grow 
up in. 

As the grandson of the 21st President 
of the U.S., the heredity and environ- 
ment of Gavin Arthur—whose real name 
is Chester Alan Arthur Ill—were. de 
cidedly more signal than his astrology, 
which he has practiced among actors, 
artists, courtesans, dukes and camp fol- 
lowers since 1931. Alan Watts calls him 
the aristocrat of bohemians, and his mu- 
seum apartment in San Francisco's Little 


‘Tokyo arca is as colorfully disarrayed as 


his mind—vividly colored diagrams of 
cosmic principles transiting autographed 
photos of Walt Whitman, Woodrow 
Wilson and Ernest Hemingway. with 
Havelock Ellis conjunct Eleanor Roose- 
velt 

*Do you fecl more like a lion than an. 
intellectual spinster?" he asks a visitor, 
studying a chart with the sun i 
and 28 degrees of Leo rising. "You're sort. 
of spread all over the place. You're not 
too yang or yin. If you were too yang, 
you'd be too masculine: if too yin, you'd 
bea dripr ing Southern belle. 
ble, gascous 
have the moon in Capricorn in the 
fifth house, not a very romantic sign. 
The Jews are under it—it's the scapegoat 
sign. With a badly aspected sun and a 
beautifully aspected Neptuna— Neptune 
is incorrect, because the sca is fem 
—you might die of some sort of cold 
through dampness, particularly wet feet. 
My grandmother just missed being the 
rst Lady, but she got wet fect and 
died. Feet are your Achilles’ heel. You 
were not too good a person in your last 
life and have to pay a certain amount of 
karma for it in this life—as you sow, so 


the Hindu concept of karma and reincar- 
nation is well known, and Arthur fer- 
vently believes he last lived in the 13th 
Century, "until 1 was trampled to death 
on the steps of Nowe-Dame-dela-Garde 
in Marseilles, 1 was the son of the Count. 
de Provence and, since I wanted to be 
dose to the daughter of Necromancer, 
the forbidden alchemist and astrologer, I 
took lessons from him. I saw her recently 
in her anrent incarnation and she said: 
‘It’s so wonderful to be with you after all 
these centuries. 
ound the Bay Arca, Arthur is best 
known as the author of an astrosexology 
book titled The Circle of Sex, which he 
wrote while horoscopes and. sell- 


ing newspapers on Market Strcet—ex- 
cept when old friends such as Tallulah 
Bankhead came around. She would trun- 
dle him to her suite at the Huntington 
for champagne and caviar—and a little 
cosmic counseling on the side. 

As readers of Alan Watts's December 
1965 rrAvsov article, The Circle of Sex, 
will recall, it was his astrologer’s passion 
for classifying people by the signs of the 
zodiac that gave Gavin the notion that 
there are 12, not two, sexual types, and 
he handled them like the horoscope 
dock. “The circular sequence of sexual 
categories came to my first wile, Char- 
loue, and me when we were living in 
Dublin in 1924, and a Lesbian friend 
wrote from New York that she was con- 
plating suicide," he says as insou- 
ciantly as one remarking on the weather. 
“We had been talking to Yeats about 
astrology and theories of reincarnation 
and, at that time, we rather imagined 
that perhaps the poor girl might be born 
again with a real penis.” As even the 
most unmystical can see, one does not 
avin Arthur to have his 
eated at $50 a throw, but for 
entertainment. without. price. 

Today, most respected. astrologers sce 
no conflict between their “scientific art" 
and heredity, free will, psychology or 
religion, but as a helpful adjunct to all 
passions and philosophies. “That astrolo- 
gers often foretell the future is only 
possible because the majority of men 
follow their passions,” wrote Saint Thom- 
as Aquinas. "For it is precisely the ba: 
drives of human nature thar are influ- 
enced by the heavenly bodies" And by 
applying his will and intellect, man can 
presumably arrange his very life in har- 
mony with the heavens. “The wise man 
controls his destiny,” says Sydney Omarr, 
terminably. “Astrology points the way.” 
So, if Constella or Celeste or Madame 
Xavora Pové or Dame Sybil Leek or 
Madame St, George Calliope—or any 
other of the commercial soothsayers— 
tells you that the month opens with the 
new moon in Libra, making the worst 
posible aspects to the majority of the 
big planets and, at the same time, u 
tarius goes into battle with 
us, immediately withdraw every 
ny from your joim checking account 
and leave home at once; for—o goes the 
terpretation of these evil aspects—"this 
could have a serious effect on your finan 
cial condition and stir up trouble i 
your home and with your family.” How- 
ever—and forecasters are wonderful at 
equivocating and hedging their bets—if 
you have the good Venus ray in your 
siga and Jupiter passes into it, too, “this 
should ease your tension.” So you might 
just as well stay home, alter all, be nice 
to your colleagues and make love, if you 
Gan. With such a benefic aspect, you 
could be in horoscoped heaven. 


REVOLUTION {orini from pose 110) 


they do nothing but that, that's a 
benefit. But what they have to do, what 
all militants have to do is translate some 
of the rhetoric of militancy into some 
kind of reality; translate the slogans into 
a meaningful program that people can 
attach themselves to." 


To a generation that has scen Fidel 
Castro and Ho Chi Minh stand off the 
massed power of what was advertised as 
the greatest military machine the world 
has ever known, the fantasy of a gue 
Ja war that would bring down the Amer- 
ican system must not seem especially 
more unreal than any other youthful 
ntasy. 

Boys who were brought up on the 
myths of the great American Revolution 
of 1776 now take their dates to see 
4f... , am English film that ends with 
kids spraying madiine-gun bullets across 
the schoolyard. The movie, like the fan- 
y. gocs no further. The adult, who 
knows that when sexual dreams become 
real babies are conceived (barring con- 
traception), wonders what fruit this rev- 
olution would bear if it should ripe 
suddenly into success. 

Unfortunately, no Declaration of Inde- 
pendence has yet emerged. There is a 
s Square of I s fighting 
tention, but no one has organized 
the riot of demands into a single, elo- 
quent document stating the nature of 
the complaint. Even further away is an 
thing resembling a draft of a constit 
n. Asa result, it is easy for those who 
wish to do so to dismiss the whole bi 
ness as chaotic anarchy, the delusional 
ravings of adolescent lunatics. 

“I have a certain emotional sympathy 
for them.” said the late Max Fastman, a 
Socialist and an authority on the Bolshe- 
vik rebellion, “but they are rather pa- 
thetic, because they have no plan. They 
just seck a revolution for its own sake.” 

In a widely publicized speech given at 
Swarthmore College in 1967, George F. 
Kennan, former ambassador to the Sovi- 
et Union and Yugoslavia and a member 
of the Institute. for Advanced Study at 
Princeton, stated the establishment posi 


tion. His address, later reprinted in The 


New York Times Magazine and in Read- 
er's Digest, as well as in his book Democ- 
racy and the Student Left, read, in part: 


I submit that if you find a system 
inadequate, it is not enough simply 
to demonstrate indignation and an- 
ger by mass defiance of established 
authority. You have the obligation, 
it seems to me, of saying in what 
way this political system should be 
modified, or what should be estab- 
lished in place of it to assure that its 
workings would bear a better relation- 
ship to people's needs and people's 
feelings. 

If the student left had. proposals 


for the constructive adaptation of 
this political system to the needs of 
our age, and if its agitation took the 
form of reasoned argument and dis 
cussion, then many of us could view 
its protests with respect. But when 
we are offered, as the only argument 
for change, the fact that a number 
of people are angry and excited, 
then we of my generation can only 
recognize that such behavior bears 
disconcerting resemblance to the ori- 
gins of totalitarianism. We have no 
choice but to rally to the defense of 
a public authority with which we 
cannot conceivably dispense. 


To this kind of argument, former SDS 
president Carl Oglesby countered in 
Containment and Change, “The funda- 
mental revolutionary motive is not to 
construct a Paradise but to destroy an 
Inferno." 

When Tom Hayde 
by the House Ur 


n was interrogated 


a joke,” Hayden replied. 
“I am asking you, sir." Conley said. 
“Well, 1 don't believe the present 

American democratic system exists,” 

Hayden explained. “That is why we 

a't get together, to straighten things 

out. . .. I believe that you have destroyed 

the American democratic system—by the 
existence of a committee of this kind. 
"When I was growing up, our country 

was the best in the world, as far as I w 

concerned,” Tommy Smothers has said. 

“I mean, there was nobody that was 

going to do anything better than us 

"Then came Sputnik. It the biggest 

shock I'd ever had. 1 thought, "What the 

hell is that? Thats not supposed to 
happen. We have more telephones, more 
cars, the best scientists. 

"A crack began to appear in the n: 

ego. Since then, the whole fabric 

has begun to fray. All these lies—the 

U2, the Gulf of Tonkin, the whole war 

—have destroyed our willingness to be 

lieve in anything. For the ones who arc 

younger than us, the college kids m 


“Newer mind the collar—the tights, man, the tights!” 


185 


PLAYBOY 


186 


be there was no willingness to believe in 
the first place.” 

In the Lion's Head, a saloon near the 
offices of The Village Voice in Greenwich 
Village, Paul Gorman, who wrote speeches 
for McCarthy, talked about the funcral of 
Robert F. Kennedy 

“Tom Hayden and I and Joe Krangle, 
big boss from Erie County, stood by 


id 


Kennedy's casket for a half hour. Tom 


Hayden cried and people put him down 


for crying. I didn't ay. 
"It occurred to me then that what you 
sot in the last cight or nine years is the 
first generation of people who realized 
that it wasn't getting better all the time 
in America. All of a sudden, between 
1958 and 1968, a whole bunch of people 
lized that it's gening worse.” 
In a lener [rom Mexico City in July 
1963, novelist Thomas Pynchon wrote: 


Trom the time we were little kids, 
they brainwashed us with all kinds 
of jive about how lucky America 
is and will continue to be, 
world without end, amen, and how 
lucky we were to be living in it 
They taught us Dr. Johnson's line 
ass backward, that there is much to 
be enjoyed, little to be endured, and 
we, saps and too young to know any 
better, believed it. 

So, sure, when we run into things 
like hate, and ICBMs and cancer, it 
ke too much to endure. And 
gh evil and misfortune suc 
ceeds in piling around us like a 
heap of shit s up to our necks 
and then some cat walks up, unzips 
lis Hy and prepares to piss on us, 
nd it becomes a choice of whether 
to take it or duck, or to get out of 
the game completely, we not infre- 
quently choose out. 

Older people, like the Negroes 
we've put down for 300 years, have 
not forgotten that might makes right 
nd talk is cheap. [t is interesting 
thar Negroes sur- 
ived indignity, , hunger, sick- 
ness and poverty of a sort and depth 
that would have driven most whites 
10 suicide. 1 think it’s because they 
never got a chance to start conning 
themselves, because its root hog or 
die from the minute the cord is cut, 
It is something we can learn. from. 
them, maybe, if we're hip enough. 


seems 


^E curse this country every day of my 
life, because it made me hate jt and I 
never wanted to.” SNCC veteran Mendy 
Samsicin told Jack Newheld in 1965. 
The flag covered too many corpses, he 
felt, not only Schwerner, Ghaney, Good- 
man, Medgar Evers and John F. Ken- 
nedy but also the anonymous ones who 
never got to be famous even in death, the 
Emmett Tills no one ever heard of. 

According to novelist John Speicher, 
after the death of John F. Kennedy, 
Young Americans began looking for 


new heroes who could stake out new 
attitudes, attitudes that would not be 
subject to total ruin by the caprice of 
fortune.” They begin to demand a new 
conception of truth. 

“Truth,” said Dave McReynolds of the 
War Resisters Le: never abstract. 
Tt is always co Reality is ex- 
pressed not by ideas but by people. "The 
calendar is the list of celebrations of the 
birthdays of heroes. Each day has its own. 
saint. Some of them. like Jesus Christ, 
are strong enough to make their in- 
fluence felt throughout the entire society, 
‘The radical and New Left young de- 
mand that the calendar be changed, 
‘They feel it is time for their heroes to be 
on television. They want their saints— 
Ché, Martin Luther King, Bobby Ke: 
nedy, Jack Kennedy, Malcolm X—to be 
the names on the calendar. 
tis important for people to have a 
tradition.” said Harry Edwards. “Integra- 
n has meant, “Nigger, you get like me, 


becuse what you arc is nothing.” For a 
long time, blacks bought this, They'd go 
to the movies and pull for Tarzan 


tives. They felt that the 
phr in turning down the 
offered in exchange for 
enc blonde haired white woman by the 
chief in King Kong. 

remember sitting in “the movies in 

a in 1963 and blacks actually 
|, "He going to trade them 12 
things for that woman?’ ‘They were pull- 
ing for the white folks. 

"Every black church that you go into, 
with few exceptions, is white oriented. 
Jesus is white. Mary is white. The angels 
are white, The first thing the 
preacher wants to do is tell. you 
black person that as soon as you die and 
go on the other side of Jordan, God is 
going to wash you whiter than sno 
No onc can Tove and respect anything 
until hc loves and respects himself. Let's 
recognize that we are nor just dealing 
with Americans of a different color when 
we are dealing with Afro-Americans. We 
are dealing with am entirely different 
ly dillerent American 
experience, entirely different problems. 
Let’s develop education aimed not at 
teaching people how to make a living 
but at teaching people how to live." 

Edwards’ message is understood very 


inst the n 
whites were 
k wome 


well by those young white students who, 
somehow 


like the blacks, will not or 
cannot. fit ni n ideal, 
For a variety of reasons, they feel like 
stingers in their own land, either be- 
cause they do not think right or because 
they do hot look right. 

"p sce things other people don’t sec,” 
Bob Dylan once said. “I {eel things other 
people don't feel. It’s terrible. ‘They 
laugh. 1 felt like that my whole life. 

“My friends have been the same as me 
people who couldn't make it as the 
high school football halfback junior 
chamber of commerce leader fraternity 


boy truck driver working his way through. 
college. . .. I couldn't do any of these 
things, either, All I did was write and 
sing, paint little pictures on paper, dis- 
solve myself into situations where I was 
invisible. 

^] just didn't care what anyone looked 
like, just as long as they didn't think I 
was strange." 

It is a condition observed not only in 
the United States but alo throughout 
the Western world, “A child born in the 
United Kingdom today stands a ten 
timesgreaer chance of being admitted 
to a mental hospital than to a universi- 
ty," British psychiatrist R. D. Laing wrote 
n Ikon, "and about one filth of mental- 
hospital admissions are di 
phrenic. This can be 
indication that we are driving our chil 
dren mad more effectively than we are 
genuinely educating them. Perhaps it is 
our very way of educating them that is 
them mad. 

The radical prescription for curing the 
madness is to change the rules, redefine 
how a person is taught. to judge himself. 
Instead of teaching our children to hate 
themselves, they propose that we teach 
them to love themselves. Instead of a 
gid, central and authoritarian ideal, let 
us have one that is flexible, individual 
and permissive. Instead of forcing them 
to produce objects, let us allow them to 
produce joy. 

“You start with the view t 
basically productive and creative," Abbie 
Hoffman said. “If he’s given morc and 
more freedom, this productivity and 
creativity will come to the surface. It 
should never be defined as work. 
ork is something that’s necessary 

capitalist system. That kind of 
this is your work, this is 
gious life, this is your play 
this is your love life, this is your family 
—is necessary in a capitalist society, be- 
cause then you can have consumers out 
there and you can cater directly to them. 
‘This product is for the women; this is 
for the black people; this is for the 
young; this is for the workers 

“Under capitalism, you have dean 
work and dirty work. You ask, "Who's 
going to want to pick up the garbage?” 
You never ask, "Who's going to want to 
be a doctor” “That's clean work. You 


en 


for a 


know there would be people who would 
g that. 

When I was a psychologist, there was 

lesman in group therapy who came 

‘T hate this. I hate my 


in complaining, 
work. I hate my boss. I hate everything 
about my job.’ But after à couple of 
months. when we had plowed through 
all that shit, it turned out he really dug 
what he was doing. He liked the whole 
game of trying dillerent pairs of shoes on 
ladies, looking up their dresses and 
everything, but he was programed in 
such a way that he couldn't like his 
work. People in a healthy state, in a 


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188 


Ithy society, dig what they're doing. 
"In Cuba, on the Isle of Youth, for 
merly the Isle of Pines, 20,000 youths live 
in a totally moncyless, free society. I don't 
say they don’t play very hard, I hesitate 
to use the other fourletter. word—worl 
“They live very hard and they live 
with a very strong commitment. but cut- 
ting cane is not separate from dancing ii 
the streets.’ 
As the rebels see it, government has 
grown so enormous and the weight of 
laws so heavy thar individual happiness 
which is what the system was original. 
ly designed to nourish—is being crushed. 
"Ehe adults are convinced that we cannot 
survive without all this structure. Their 
children are willing to try 
In effect, all the young are told is, “Do 
what we say and you will be hap) 
This works as long as a child's defi 
of happiness is the same as his parents’. 
As soon as a sense of self begins to 
appear, there is conflict. At that p 
the adult can begin to lct the child do as 
he likes or say. “Do what we say or we 
will hit you." The dispute between the 
superpowers and their client nations is 
the same as the struggle between parent 
and child, The revolt of the black man 
in the United States is also. Aud. ob- 
viously, so is the rebellion on campus. 
This does not necessarily mean. 
sociologist Lewis Feuer has suggested, 
that radical students striking at 
stand-ins for their own parents. Dr. Mish 
S. Zaks of the Northwestern Universi- 
ty Medical School told the American 
Orihopsychiatric Association Convention 
in New York that a majority of the 
Yippies who demonstrated in Chicago 
expressed favorable attitudes toward. 
their parents, who were described as 
nonauthor 
It is possible that what they are doing 
is attempting to force the society—the. 
national parent, the collective superego 
—to treat its children in the same w 
that their parents treated them: 
icantly, Dr. Zaks reported. the parents of 
Yippies were in the higher edu al 
and economic levels. Forty percent had. 
annual incomes of $15,000 or more. 
Hayden. writing with Norm Fruchter 
and Alan Cheuse in the spring 1965 issue 
of Studies on the Left, outlined the goa 
“What we sek . . . is a thoroughly 
democratic revolut n which the most 
oppressed aspire to govern and decide, 
begin to practice their aspiration and, 
finally, it to fulfillment by trans 
forming decision making everywhere. . 
Power in America is abdicated by indi- 
viduals to top-down organizational units, 


carry 


and it is in the recovery of this power 
that... new kind of man emerge 


“This kind of man cannot be purchased, 
because his needs cannot be translated 
into cash; he cannot be manipulated. be- 
cause it is precisely a 
that he has defined his rebellion.” 


In the Port Huron Statement, written 
mostly by Tom Hayden for the 1962 SDS 
convention. in Port Huron, Michigan, 
there was faith that radicals could work. 
through the established liberal institu- 
tions in bringing about the creation of 
participatory democracy, a social system 
that would have two central aims: “That 
the Jual share in those social deci- 
sions determining the quality and direc- 
tion of his life; that society be organized 
to encourage independence in men and 


participation.” 

At the bottom, this is what all the fuss 
is about. Many people would undoubted- 
ly assume that America long ago achieved 
at least ly, we have. 
"Ehere who would not 
agree that the Constitution of the Unit- 
ed States, faithfully and literally ob- 
served, would provide as much freedom 
anyone could handle. Those ra 
however, maint 


a als, 
in that, in fact, there is 
little freedom [or much of the popula 
tion. The debacle of Chicago, 1968, they 
say, illustrated the reality faced daily by 
the powerless who attempt to make them- 
selves heard. 

To the people of the ghetto, the spec- 
tacle of the Chicago police beating up 
convention demonstrators was mo sur- 
prise. It was unusual only because it was 


happening on television and it was hap- 

es. For the most part. the 
By 
"to grow long, they 


pening to whi 
protesters were voluntary niggers. 
allowing their ha 
had discovered what it was lil 
outside the established order. 
Easy Rider, in which two lon; 
Killed merely for being different, © 
pressed the paranoia of the young, a 
noia epidemic among those who sce 
the forces of law and order as agents of 
a system that encourages racism, disease, 
poverty, destruction of the environment 
and the suicide of the American matio! 
ethic in a war whose essential ch. 
they feel, was revealed at Song My. 

The young reformer, attempting to 
eradicate these evils and others, some- 
times finds that they exist not by acci- 
dent or by inertia but because they serve 
someone's interest. It has been estimated, 
for example, that American industry 
22 billion dollars a year by paying 
black workers less than whites for equi: 
alent jobs. 

Even hunger is sometimes directly 
maintained by the profit motive. When 
George McGovern's special committee 
investigating hunger visited migrant la- 
bor camps in Immokalee, Florida, the 
Senators were shocked by the squalor of 
the housing and the starvation 
the workers. Fat back, corn bread 
string beans were the typical scant con 
tents of refrigerators in the dilapidated 
shacks. According to The New York 
Times, Collier County officials have for 
years kept Federally aided food programs 


€ to live 
The film 


sav 


d 


out of the area because the aid might be 
too costly, because migrant farm workers 
might be tempted to settle down instead 
of moving on and because the poor might 
refuse to pick the crops if they received 
free food. 

Alter a few experiences such as thi 
the concerned young are inclined to con- 
clude that the institutions of our society 
serve not the people who do the work 
but the people who collect the profits 
The next conclusion is that the institu 
tions themselves stand in the way of 


freedom and ought to be destroyed. This 
is where the radical and the revolution 
ry part company. Not all radicals are 


that the entire structure of 
society has to be torn down and totally 
rebuilt, but even those who continue to 
operate within the political process have 
a limited view of what can be done. 
I think you have to begin with the 
premise that politics can't cure the 
ments of the human condition,” said 
political writer Jack Newfield. “You have 
to begin with the understanding tha 
people are going to commit suicide and 
take drugs and be sad under any social 
system—capitalism, socialism, corporate 
liberalism, welfare state, Cuba, Chin; 
anywhere. What politics can do is redis- 
ibute economic power. 
I think we have to make a revolution 
so that sharccroppers in. Mississippi 
join the rest of the society sitting i 
front of their TV sets drinking beer and 
belching, and feeling threatened by their 
children. They are entitled to that agon’ 
m willing to build a democratic 
movement. primarily through confront 
tion in the streets and only secondu 
in candidates and politicians who are 
schooled in democratic and activist val- 
ues. Im willing to concede that this 
movement will not come to fruition in 
my lifetime. 1 think that the problem 
with the New Left is the desire for 
instantaneous results. I'm willing to have 
revolutionary patience. 
Change is not always brought about by 
patient people, however. "Ihe greatest 
advances in human consciousness," edito- 
rilired The Avatar, an underground 
paper published in Boston for seve 
months in 1967, made by people 
who demand too much." "Ehe student 
rebels have been demanding too much 
ime but. ch 
ats have pointed the di 


convinced. 


ibi 


now, ir ac- 


for quite some 
complislum: 
tion in which the country could go, once 
it realized that these were mot loony 
visions but actual possibilities. 

The Freedom Riders demonstrated to 
the black people of the South that they 
could sit anyplace they wanted on public 
transportation. They also made it pos 
ble for white Southern ladies to see th: 
they weren't going to break out 
if they sit next to a black person. The 
same was tue for the lunch-coumer si 
ins. Lhe anti-war protesters proved that 


1 sores 


Heart line un 


AND THERE 


189 


PLAYBOY 


190 “that one of the principa 


citizens could directly influence foreign 
policy. In each situation. the demonstra- 
tors were criticized for their bad manners 
and their defiance of law and order and 
threatened with a backlash. 

Yet no meaningful backlash developed. 
The vote for George Wallace was not 
evidence that the country had moved to 
the right, bur. rathe à historically 
mute sector of the electorate had finally 
found a voice. The American Independ- 
ent Party campaign was made possible 
not by any new outpourings of public 
fury but by a technological advance— 
television. For the first time in our his- 
tory. it was economically possible to 
mount a national campaign that could 
successfully reach all of the scattered dis- 
affliated souls who have ndoned the 
Republican and Democratic parties. It 
would have happened had there been 
no protester 

If anything, the country appears to be 
moving consistently toward acceptance of 
political equality. A nationwide survey 
by the Gallup Poll in 1969 revealed that 
67 percent of the American people say 
they would vote for a Negro for President, 
a jump of 13 points from the pr 
measurement in June 1967. Whi 
lup first began polling on the subject in 
1958, only $8 percent answered yes. 

It may be quite some time before we 
see a black candidate of a major party 
running for President, but the prospect 
is inevitable. The Democratic pr 
decion victory of Thomas Bradley. a 
black man, over Sam Yorty, the white 
incumbent mayor of Los Angeles, was 
accomplished with white votes less than. 
four years after the Watts riots. Although 
he lost the general election after the pr 
mary, Bradley drew 47 percent of the 
votes cast, even though only 15 percer 
of L. A/s voters are black. This 
seems prool of any backlash. 

Now the student left is attending to its 
most immediate concern—bringing about 
change on the college campuses. Once 
n though there is almost g 
wgreement among educators that the 
changes have been long overdue, rad 
students are being warned that a right 
wing backlash is developing. 

In fact, there probably ought not to be 
distuptions on campus and there almost 
certainly would be none—if the adm; 
trative machinery were capable of deal 
ing with what appears to be justifiable 
discontent about the d of. education. 
being offered, a discontent shared not 
only by students but by faculty as well. 

Militant students, Margaret Mead. 
wrote in the April 1969 Redbook, are 
rebelling against being “treated like 
package goods—so many to be processed, 
pushed through the educational maze, 
mined and granted degrees at the 
end of a standard course.” 

"Who can be surprised," she asked, 
demands stu- 


ev 


eral 


dents are making is for ‘participatory 
democracy—for the right to have a real 
voice in the decisions that affect their 
lives?" 

Even the Reverend Theodore M. Hes- 
burgh, president of Notre Dame Universi- 
ty, known as an enemy of campus dissent, 
told the 66th annual convention of the 

al Catholic Educational Association 
at “the strong tradition of paternalism” 
in Roman Catholic higher education was 
on its way out. 

"God bless these difficult, demanding 
revolutionary students who are the rea- 
son and often the despair of our educa- 

existence," he said. "We must take 


some chances and have more faith in this 
younger generation and have more un- 


derstanding of their concer 

As if 10 punctuate and underscore thi 
fellowship with the rebel young pro- 
fessed by administrators, ther the 
voice of Secretary of Health, Education 
and Welfare Robert Finch, who told a 
Congressional inves g committee 
that the academic world had created its 
own mess by allowing itself to be com- 
^d by business, government and 
'escarch funds. 


“It is at least in part against this 
corruption that the students of every 
continent are. now in revolt,” wrote 


Sningfellow Barr in The Center Maga- 
zine, published by the Center for the 
Study of. Democratic. Institutions. 

“Although the general public does not 
know it.” he said, “the university profes- 
sor has turned go-getter. His booty in 
cludes a far salary from a business firm 
or a Federal grant big enough to support 
him and a couple of assistants. In this 
atmosphere of increasing affluence, of 
classified information and of pleasant 
expense accounts, the professor too often 
teaches as little as possible or not at all. 

“Faced with this massive corruption of 
what once was the purpose of a profes- 
sion, the student joins the revolt against 
the establishment,” Barr explained. "Can. 
he really be blamed? He was used to the 
lying television commercial, but he had. 
thought of the university as a community 
concerned not with power, not with 
force, not with fraud but with discove 
ing the truth and prodaiming it. 

“In the long run, calling the police 
cannot save the universities. 

All of this acad. self criticism does 
not reveal the reality at issue. The con- 
frontation is not so much over particular 
demands such as black-studies programs 
or the admission of minority students 
who do not mect usual standards or 
giving grades or not giving grades. The 
fight really about whose needs the 
university is intended to serve the ad- 
ministration's or the students’. 

According to radical students, school 
administrations are obsessed with the 
business of measuring success—by the 
grades students achieve and by the drop- 


out rate, and, more importantly, by the 
size of the university and the amount of 
money it controls. 
use there is no way in which the 
ster 
unhappines—if, in fact, there is any 
interest in doing so—rebcllious students 
and sympathetic faculty believe they are 
forced to use unmistakably dramatic sig- 
. such as kicking the president of the 
university out of his olfice to express 
what they feel. Those who criticize the 
rudeness of such forms of address 
to forget that it is possible that the lack 
of attention to more polite communica 
has been literally killing people. 
The suicide rate of college students—a 
for many years now—may very 
well be the best evidence anyone needs 
to demonstrate how miserably the 
schools have failed 
The attempt to reduce human beings 
to numbers has been recognized as one 
of the most vicious and dangerous vends 
odern Life. It is much casier to kill a 
number than a person. It is not insignil 
icant that Hitler's concentration-camp vic- 
tims were tattooed with numbers instead. 
of names; nor is it insignificant that the 
war in Vietnam is the fist one whose 
progress we have 
A similar process of “deindi 
word coined by Stanford University 


uation 


research psychologist Dr. Philip G. Zim- 
ampus. Dr. 


bardo—has takı 


lo described. 


1 place on 
the dy 


the symposium on motivation at the 
University of Nebraska. 

He suggested that the size of American 
cities, the enormous power of big institu- 
tions and the mobility of the citizen have 
made it more and more difficult for the 

pdividual to locate himself in any real 
way in the structure of society the way 
he once could in the family. The result, 
he theorized, is a feeling of 
and futility, as well 
1esuaints based on scl-evalu 
growing rage 
personal needs in any way that will not 
only be acceptable to society but also 
produce a response. 

Increased technology has not i 
responsiveness, although there is no rca- 
son why it couldn't. Instead, it ha 
decreased. the contact. between the indi- 
vidual and the power structure. Anyone 
who has attempted to communicate with 
a telephone company or a power compa- 
ny or a credit agency will understand the 
feeling of frustration. 

A threat. however, brings prompt—if 

npk Conc 
foster deindividu: sud Dr. Zimbar- 
do, “make cach of us a potential assas- 
sin.” He suggested that the increase in 
murder of the past few years, the beating 
id torture of 40,000 American you 
sters cach year by the 


1crcased 


often 


—results. ons which 


parents or 


brothers and sisters, the 230 violent ur- 
ban outbreaks of the past five years and 
the assassinations may be symptoms. 

It is possible that these effects might 
also be explained by the unusually large 
percentage of youths in the population 
mix, since youth is statistically a time of 
violence; but Dr nbardo’s argument is 
still perceptive and persuasive. A protest 
demonstration, certainly, is an attempt 
to prove that people exist as people. 
Sometimes there is an easily understand. 
able tendency to forget that they exis 
Until they start fighting back, they are 
consumers or workers or students or 
teachers or units [t is the nature of 
government officials to think this way, 
but the radicals have decided that the 
bureaucrats may not be allowed to fall 
into the convenient fantasy of smoothly 
functioning power. 

Even revolutionaries themselves should 
not be immune from rude confrontations 
with reality, Although there is plenty to 
be indignam about, the indignation of 
the rebel often masks desires that are less 
noble than his cause. It is bad enough to 
have cops, without having also to put up. 
with self-appointed anti-cops whose act 
ties are sometimes almost as annoying. 

“Eternal life to free pay toilets—thats 
our program,” Abbie Holtman said. "In 
the new society, there shall be only one 
law: It is forbidden to forbid 


In his book Woodstock Nation, Hoff- 


man suggests that the mass communion 
of the great rock festival at Bethel, N. Y., 
where hundreds of nds met in 
joyous anarchy without a single fistfight, 
is the kind of experience that grows out 
of the elimi tion. He ig- 
wes the darker possibilities of desire 
without restraint. As 1969 ended, the 
Woodstock Nation was to have its own 
Chicago. 

At the Rolling Stones's rock festival in 
Altamont, California, hundreds of thou- 
sands were present at a satanic spectacle 
in which four persons died and an um- 
umber were injured. The Hell's 
Angels. hired to provide security, killed 
one man and beat many others. Among 
those hurt were Mick Jagger of the 
Rolling Stones, punched in the mouth, 
and Marty Balin of the Jefferson. Air- 
plane, knocked unconscious. 

At one point, an enormously f 
took off his clothes and approached 
the stage. At Woodstock, this would 
have almost certainly been greeted with 
cheers, The fat man was displaying him. 
self in an act of freedom. At Altamont, 
the Angels beat him bloody with sawed- 
olf cue sticks. “To the Angel.” read the 
caption under a photograph in Rolling 
Stone, “the naked man was so repulsive 
he had to get hit. And he did” 

"To all compl that they had 
been overzealous, too rough, in keeping 
the stage clear, the Angels simply re- 
plicd that they was just doing their 


thou 


counted. 


young 


S. 


ints 


hen L 
REKER- 


“I figure I'm good for another ten years before I 
have to learn typing and shorthand.” 


thing, which is violence,” the rock news- 
paper commented. 

There are some people who believe 
that the Altamont disaster was simply a 
Someone made a mistake 
ng the Angels. Others say that 
the festiva moncygrubbing shuck 
to begin with, a publicity stunt for the 
Stones, who would make a fortune from 
the movie rights. Altamont, in their 
view, was a perversion of Woodstock, 
an exploitation doomed by greed. 

These would seem to be excuses and 
apologies very much like those that fol. 
lowed Chicago—reasonable and sophisti. 
cated, but irrelevant. The real lesson is 
less glib. Those who insist on total free- 
dom must accept the inevitable release 
of evil as well as good 

Ten years ago, in Naked Lunch, Wil- 
liam Burroughs wrote: 


Rock-n" 
storm the streets ol 
rush into the Louvre 
in the Mona Lisa’s fac 
zoos, insane asylums, prisons, burst 
water mains with air hammers, chop 
the floor out of passenger plane Ia 
tories, shoot out lighthouses . . . in 
tical costumes ram the Queen 
Mary full speed into New York 
Harbor, play chicken with passenger 
planes sh into hospitals 
in ts carrying saws and 
Ipels three fect long: 
throw paralytics out of iron lungs 
nimic their suffocations Hopping 
about on the floor and rolling their 


-roll adolescent hoodlums 
1 


white 


eyes up). administer injections with 
bicycle pumps, disconnect. artificial 
. saw 2 woman in half with. 
a twoma gical saw, they drive 
herds of squealing pigs into the 
curb, they shit on the Hoor of the 
United Nations and wipe their ass 
with treaties, pacts, alliances, 

By plane, car, horse, camel, ele- 
nt, tractor, bicycle and steam 
roller, on foot, skis, sled, crutch and 
pogo stick the tourists storm the 
frontiers, demanding with inflexible 
authority asylum from the “ 
able conditions obtain 


in to stem the debacle: 
se to be restful. It is only a few 
crazies who have from the cr 
place outbrok 


In July 1969, the Black Panther Party 
nal Confer for a 
United Front Against Fascism, held in 
the Oakland, California, municipal audi- 
torium. The purpose of the conference 
was t0 enlist white student support for 
the Panthers. Among the 3500 delegates 
representing themselves and 300 organi- 
zations was a man with long gray hair 
who was selli h the word 
crazies foi stylized automatic rifle 
The pin was an appropriate symbol 
for es who believe 
that it is possible to fight for peace by 
brandishing imaginary weapons. The 
ntasy, like the button, is not backed up 
by any great armory. White students do 
not like guns, nor do they own them, but 


nce 


those revolutionar 


191 


PLAYBOY 


192 


they like to talk about them, perhaps in 
the same way that they like to talk about 
sex, There is a close relation between the 
psychology of violence and the psychology 
of sex. Those who use the por 

of sex do so to relieve the frustration that 
comes from being unable to manage the 
real thing. The same holds true for the 
pornography of violence. 

Dave McReynolds had this analysis: 

“Tom Hayden told a very small group 
of intellectuals one night in Chicago that 
the reason for using defensive violence is 
that the public has an image of us as 
being Jews, queers and Commies and 
that we've got to change this, because the 
country won't respect people they're 
viewing as Jews, queers and Commies 

“Of course, he was dead wrong. Tom 
was just dead wrong in his thought and 

ion. The problem is that obviously, 
conception of the movement 
is that it is composed of queers and 
Communists and Jews. The point is, that 
is precisely what it is and always has 
been. That's what is nice about the 
movement. It is the weak making it i 
their own way, the fragile, the neurotic. 
I don't want to prove otherwise. I don't 
have to prove otherwise. I am worried 
about this idea of proving things. Ir's as 
if the kids were not clear about their 
own definitions. 

“But thats only one section. They 
want to prove they're very courageous. 
Another section doesn't give a damn 
about proving anything, but they are 
determined to do their own thing. The 
important point here is that there is a 
significant segment that has dropped out 
of a prosperous society or challenged 
Whether they challenge it stupidly or 
provocatively is not as important as the 


fact that they made that challenge, 
They're saying this is not the kind of 
society that we want.” 

A letter signed “Doug Lummix” in the 
San Francisco Express Times, a radical 
underground newspaper, offered another 
perspective: 


Birth is a kind of violence. . . . 
Anyone who can't stand the sight of 
blood had better not try to be a 
midwife. But anyone who decides 
that blood is the key to the process 
is a butcher abortionist, not a mid- 
wife. 

‘The difference is rather important: 
It is the difference between life and 
death. In birth and revolution, the 
point is to make new lile and keep it 
alive. Imagining you can cause a revo- 
lution by violence is like imagining 
you can make a woman give birth by 
kicking her until she bleeds. 

Lenin was right that you have to 
break eggs, but you have to break 
them from inside. 


At the Oakland conference Black 
Panther chairman Bobby Seale outlined 
a plan to promote referendums through- 
out the country to set up decentralized 
neighborhood police forces that would 
be appointed and controlled by locally 
elected commissioners. During the ques- 
tionandanswer period, a young white 
gil in hippie uniform asked if this 
meant that the Panthers were giving up 
armed struggle and embracing the exist- 
ing political system. Her tone suggested 
that she thought this was a form of 
treason to the ideals of the revolution, 
We are working at the level of the 
consciousness of the people,” he an- 
swered, “giving the people something 


“All the airlines are trying to outdo one another.” 


that they would want to vote for, for a 
change. We're working at a level where 
they can begin to relate to it. We are 
trying not to get too far ahead of them. 

“As long as those fascists are out there. 
baby, we are going to defend ourselves. 
We are talking about basic democratic 
rights being uscd as a means to combat 
the system, but we are not going to 
anarchisticilly place the right of self- 
defense out of context. We are saying that 
we have a right to have shotguns and 
rifles in our homes and we are going to 
have them. 

“The street revolutionary who doesn't 
want to go forward and educate the 
masses with a practical. functional pro- 
gram is nor a street revolutionary—he's a 
jive anarchist. All revolutionist organiza- 
tions respect the anarchist's demands, 
but it is criminal to desire to lcad the 
masscs to emotional, anarchistic demands 
beyond what the masses can see and 
understand at their own level of con- 
sciousness.” 

Another girl, from New York, wanted 
to know what would happen if the com- 
munity-control plan were voted into law 
and the police refused to disarm. It was 
nearly midnight, the end of the final day 
of the three-day conference. Seale was ob- 
viously exhausted, but he grabbed the 
question with ferocious enthusiasm. 

“If they are not going to give up their 
jobs" he said, "that means the fascists 
are not going to give up control of the 
state and that means, baby, we got open, 
righteous revolution. The people that 
voted are going to move to what the 
revolutionaries told them. They're going 
to move to getting guns and keeping 
guns in their homes and defending them- 
selves from those fascists.” 

Bobby Seale felt he had isolated the 
point at which revolution becomes legiti- 
mate and necessary. When 
conventional means of translating the 
will of the people into government ac- 
tion fail to produce results, the govern- 
ment in power must be replaced. The 
United States of America, a constitution- 
al democracy created by a revolutionary 
war, has survived by constantly renewing 
the authenticity of its authority in an 
orderly transfer of power from one gen- 
eration to the next. In schools at every 
level, in every community, children are 
taught and retaught the central concept 
of our pol system: "The government 
official is a steward of the nation’s 
wealth, an employee of the people, a 
hired hand who is supposed to take his 
orders from the voters. Like any worker, 
he ought to be dismissed if he will not 
obey the owners of the enterprise. As the 
decade of the Sixties ended, an increasing 
number of people were beginning to be- 
lieve that the American Government no 
longer represented the American people 
and would have to be overthrown. 

Yet the likelihood of a successful upris- 
ing does not seem to be very great, even 


all of the 


to the most militant revolutionaries. 
In an interview held in the Berkeley. 
alifornia, headquarters of the Black 
Panther Party, à Panther field marshal, 
who called himself D. C., said: 

“Were out to change this system, 
smash it, destroy it—this bourgeois cipi- 
talism, dictatorship of the minority—and 
replace it with a government of the 
people, by the people and for the people. 
We know it can’t be done through. parlia- 
mentary procedures, through the election 
box. It has to be smashed, overthrown, 
and it’s going to take violence to do that.” 

Despite this, D. C. wes not looking for- 
ward to immediate battle. "Our job is 

ot to start the war.” he said, "We'd do 
a little bit of damage, but we'd be wiped 
out. Our job is to educate the people. 

Unl most white revolutionaries, th 
Panthers have seen police firepower close 

3 beginning of 1908, D. C. 
said, 27 Panthers have been gunned down 
by police officers. During the same period, 
only three Jawmen have been killed in 
shoovouts with Black Panthers: |n De- 
cember 1969, Fred Hampton. head of the 
Panthers’ Hlinois chapter, was killed in a 
controversial predawn police raid. Also 

led was another member of the Pan 
k. The Panther-police 
ied until then by the 


"s 
war, often 
media, was front] 

When Bobby Scale arrived that day a 
the Berkeley headquarters, he was ask 
what the Black Panthers would do about 
the unemployed policemen who became 
unemployed as a result of the succes of 
the community-control plan. 

“What are we going to do with the 
unemployed cops?" he 
tone of disbelief. "What 
for the black people who have been un 
employed all their lives?" Then, after a 
long pause, he said, "I we had a s 
istic state and real socialistic education, 
maybe we could pay them 10 go to school 
to learn how to be human beings.” 

"Every revolution ends in the creation 
of a new privileged class,” the Mexican 
novelist Carlos Fuentes once wrote. T is 
possible that the young revolutionaries 
arc only a new cadre of cops. Should their 
revolution succeed, it may be that they 
will become the new privileged class. 

To those who have experienced the 
lessons of history in which Stalin, the 
policeman, inherits the structure created 
by Lenin, the revolutionary, and brings 
back the permanent terror of authori 
rule, it may seem pointless to en. 
courage the victory of one side or the 
other in the eternal war between cop and 
anticop. 

To many of the young, who live i 
ugly endless present of first aw. 
ing, history is just another boring text- 
book. They feel the pain where the 
harness tubs and all they can think about 
is freedom, not knowing or caring that 
there is always another harness, that the 


we news. 


© they done 


struggle for freedom is endless. Some of 
their leaders seem more interested in 
struggle than in victory. 

Abbie Hoffman, in an interview, was 
unable to imagine anything he would 
rather do than make revolution. This 
was the problem that Ché Guevara faced. 
It diovc him from Guba to Bolivia and 
death. In this sense, the continued exist 
ence of the Government and repression 
in general serves to gi to the 
revolutionary’s life. Hoffman defined his 
struggle as “life against death." He 
that the only alternatives he could see 
were to work in an office at a job that he 
would hate or to be a revolutionary. In 
a sense. he is kept going by the police, 
who gratify for him what appears to be 
an obsessive love of martyrdom, 


Hoffman has been arrested some 40 
times. One of his latest arrests was for 
refusing to fasten his scar belt on a 


plane. He has been beaten many 
by the police. In Chicago, he avanged 
for a girl to wave a bloody shirt and 
scream that he had been murdered. TI 
was supposed to be a decoy. The gir 
chickened out and he was cheated of 
Tom Sawyers thrill of seeing his own 
funeral. 

Todays masochist can be tomorrow's 
sadist. In a letter to The Village Voice. he 
called Sirhan Sirhan a “freedom fighter. 
In an interview, he refused to deny that 
he thought there might be circumstances 
in which political assassination might be 


justified. As he talked, he played with a 
Grossman air pistol. In his book Revolu- 
tion for the Hell of It, he had told how 
a friend had given him a .22 pistol th 
he eventually got rid of. Three times, he 
told the story of his latest 
ping the air-pistol tr 

At the airport 
student denounce 
a speech that had been delivered at 
Harvard. “Some people in this so 
Hayden was reported to have sa 
have to be wiped out politically or 
exterminated.” 

“What is it that you objea to?” he 
asked. The word exterminate, he was 
told. Who did he think would make the 


decisions of who would live and who 
would di 
“Individuals will make those deci- 


sions,” he answered. Would he be one of 
the individuals who would make those 
decision 

"How do you know I haven. 

About an hour later. the 
cleared just enough for Hayden's planc 
to take ofl: bur for the next two days. 
the fog dosed in and there were no more 
fights in or our of Cedar Rapids or 
Iowa City. Fach night. however, the net 
work television news showed scenes ol 
rebellion iu ncisco. The 
kids thought that it was fun to watch. It 
may not be much longer 


San lowa 


*... Darling, E'm sorry I called you 


a dirty embezzler this morning. . . . 


193 


PLAYBOY 


194 


SAME TO YOU  (coninues from page 51) 


interested.” Edelstein replied, admiring 
his firmness of character. 

The voice did not answer 

Fdelstei alled out, "Hey, if you're 
still there, please go away 

“My de Edelstei 


M 
“cynicism is meicly a form of naiveté. Mr. 


Edelstein, wisdom is discrim 
He gives me lectures now, 
said to the wall. 
“All right,” the voice said, “forget the 
whole thing, keep your cynicism and 
1 prejudice; do I need this kind 


delstein 


“Just à minute,” 
akes you think I'm prejudiced?” 
not cap around," the voice 
said. "If 1 was raising funds for Hadas- 
sah. or selling Isracl bonds, it would have 
been different, But, obviously, I am what 
I am, so excuse me for living. 
Not so fast,” Edelstein said. “As far as 
I'm concerned, you're just a voice from 
the other side of the door. For all 1 
know, you could be Catholic or Seventh- 
Day Adventist or even Jewish 

“You knew,” the voice responded. 

I swear to you 
the said, “it 
auer, I come ist a lot 
id of ih 
“Just a minute,” Edelstein replied. 
He cursed himself for a fool. How 
often had he fallen for some huckster's 
line, ending up. for example, paving 
59.98 for an illustrated two-volume Sex 
ual History of Mankind, which his friend 
Manowitz had pointed out he could have 
bought in any Marboro bookstore for 
$2.98? 

But the voice w 
somehow known 
with a goy. 

And the voice would go away think- 
ing, The Jews, they think they're better 
than everyone else. Further, he would 
tell this to his bigoted friends at the next 
meeung of the Elks or the Knights of 
Columbus, and there it would be, another 
black eve for the Jews. 


lelstein answered. 


voice 


of this 


ht. Edelstein had 
that he dealing 


was 


“I do have a weak characer,” Edel 
stein thought. sadly. 
He called out, “All right! You can 


come in! But 1 warn you from the start, 
1 am not going to buy anything.” 

He pulled himself to his [cet and 
started toward the door. Then he stopped, 
for the voice had replied, “Thank you 
very much,” and then a man had walked 
through the closed, double locked wooden 
door. 

"The man was of medium height, nice- 
ly dressed in a gray pinstripe modifica 
Edwardian suit. His cordovan boots were 
highly polished. He was black, carried a 
briefcase, and he had stepped through 
Faelstein's door as if it had been made 
of Jell-O. 

“Jus a minute, stop, hold on one 


minute.” Edelstein said. He found that he 
was dasping both of his hands together 


and his heart was beating unpleasantly 
fast. 

The man stood perfectly still and at 
his case, one yard within the apartment. 
Edelstein started 10 breathe again. He 


said, 
Kind of hallucination 

“Want to see me do it again?" the 
man asked, 

My God, no! So 
through the door! Oh. Gi 
n trouble. 

Edelstein went. back to the couch 
sat down ly 


Sorry, 1 just had a brief attack, a 


you did walk 
1 P think I'm 


nd 
The man sat down in 


nearby cl 
“What is 
whispered. 
«lo the door thing to save time,” the 


this all abo Edelstein 


man said. “It usually closes the credulity 
gap. My name is Charles Sitwell. I am a 
field man for the Devil." 


Edelstein believed him. He tried to 


think of a prayer, but all he could re- 
member was the one he used to say over 


bread in the summer camp he had attend 
ed when he was a boy. It probably 
wouldn't help. He also knew the Lord's 
Prayer, but that wasn't even his religion. 
Perhaps the salute to the flag... . 
“Don't get all worked up. 


Sitwell 


said. "I'm not here after your soul or any 
old-fashioned crap like that 
How can I believe you?” Edelstein 


asked. 
"Figure it out for yourself, 
told him. "Consider only the war 
Nothing bur rebellions and revolutions 
for the past fifty years or so. For us, that 
s an unprecedented supply of con- 
demned Americans, Viet Cong, Ni 
ans, Biafrans, Indonesians, South Africans, 
Russians, Indians, Pakistanis and Arabs. 
Israelis, too, I'm sorry to tell you. Also, 
were pulling in more Chinese than 
usual; and just recently, we've begun to 
get plenty of action on the South Ameri- 
ket. Speaking frankly, Mr. Edel- 
were overloaded with souls. If 
ar starts this year, we'll have to. 
declare an amnesty on venial sins.” 
Edelstein thought it over. “Then you're 
really not here to take me to hell?” 
"Hell. no!” Sitwell said. “I told you, 
our waiting list is longer than for Peter 
Cooper Village: we hardly have any 
room left in limbo." 
"Well... Then why are you herc?" 
Sitwell crossed his legs and leaned for 
ward earnestly. "Mr. Edelstein, you have 
to understand that hell is very much like 
U.S. Steel or L T. & T. We're a big outfit 
and we're more or less a monopoly. But, 
like any really big corporation, we are 
imbued with the ideal of public service 
and we like to be well thought of” 
“Makes sense," Edelstein said. 


me: 


“Bur, Ford, we can't very we 
establish a foundation and start giving 
out scholarships and work grants. People 
wouldn't understand. For the same rca- 
son, we can't start building model cities 
or fighting pollution. We can't even 
throw up a dam in Afghanistan without 
someone questioning our motive: 

“I sce where it could be a problem,” 
admitted 
we like to do something. So, 
from time to time, but especially now, 
with business so good, we like to d 
tribute a small bonus to a random selec 
tion of potential customers 

“Customer? Me? 

No one is calling you a sinner,” Sit 
well pointed out. "I said potential— 
which means everybody.” 

"Oh. ... What kind of bonus?" 

“Three wishes" Sitwell id briskly. 
*That’s the traditional form. 

"Let me see if I've got this straight," 
lelstein said. “I can have any three 
wishes D want? With no penalty, no 
secret ifs and buts? 
one but,” Sitwell said 
n said. 

Its simple enough. Whatever you 
wish for, your worst enemy gets double. 

Edelstein thought about that. “So i 
asked for a million dol 

“Your worst enemy would get two mil- 
lion dollars.” 

“And if I asked for pneumonia? 

"Your worst enemy would get double 
pneumonia.” 

Edelstein pursed his lips and shook his 
head. "Look, not that I mean to tell you 
people how to run your business, but I 
hope you realize that you endanger cus 
tomer good will with a clause like that.” 

“It’s a risk, Mr. Edelstein, but absolute- 
on a couple of counts, 
You see, 


the clause is à 


psychic feedback device that to 
in homeostasis. 
Sony, I'm not following you." Edel. 


stein answered 

“Let me put it this way. The cause 
acts to reduce the power of the thre 
wishes and, thus, to keep tl 
ably normal A wish is 
strong instrument, you know 

“I cam imagine,” Edelstein said. “Is 
there a second reason 

“You should 1 
Sitwell said, ba 
teeth in an 
“Clauses H 
Thats how 
hellish product.” 

UE see, 1 see,” Edelstein said. “Well, 
Ym going to need some time to think 
about thi 
"The offer is good for thirty days,” 
well said, standing up. "When you 
want to make a wish, simply state it— 
clearly and loudly. I'll tend to the rest.” 


n extremely 


ve guessed it already,” 
ing exceptionally white 
le 


pprovimation of 
that 
you 


demar 


are our wa 
know it’s a genuine 


Sitwell walked 10 the door. Edelstein 
said, "There's only one problem 1 think 
1 should mention 

“What's that?" Sitwell asked. 

“Well, it just so happens that I don't 
have a worst enemy. In fact, I dont have 
an enemy in the world." 

Sitwell laughed hard, then wiped. his 
cyes with a mauve handkerchief. "Edcl- 
stein,” he said, “you're really too much! 
Not an enemy in the world! What 
about your Seymour, who you 
wouldu't lend five hundred dollars to, to 
start a dry-cleaning business? Is he a 
friend all of a sudden?” 

"I hadu't thought about Seymour.” 
Edelstein answered 

"And what about Mis. Abramowitz, 
who spits at the mention of your name, 
ause you wouldn't marry her Marjo- 
? What about Tom Cassiday in apait- 
ment IC of this building, who has a 
complete collection of Goebbels’ speeches 
and dreams every night of killing all of 
the Jews in the world, b with 
you? ... Hey, are you all 

Edelstein, the couch, had 
gone white and his hands were clasped 
tightly together again. 

I never realized," he said. 

"No one rcalizes" Sitwell said. "Look, 
take it easy, six or seven enemies is 
nothing: | can assure you that you're 
well below average, hatewise.” 


cousin 


sitting on 


"Who else? 
ing heavily. 

"Im not going to tell you," Sitwell 
said. "It would be needless aggravation.” 

But I have to know who is my worst 
enemy! Is it Cassiday? Do you think 1 
should buy a gun? 

Sitwell shook his head. "Cassiday is a 
harmless, half-witted lunatic. He'll never 
lift a finger, you have my word on that 
Your worst enemy is a man named Ed- 
ward Samuel Manowitz."" 

You're sure of that?” Edelstein asked 
incredulously 

‘Completely sure.” 

“But Manowitz happens to be my best 
friend." 

“Also your worst enemy," Sitwell re- 
plied. works like that. 
Goodbye, Mr. Edelstein, and good luck 
with your three wishes." 


Edelstein asked, breath- 


"Sometimes it 


“Wait!” Edelstein cried. He wanted 
to ask a million questions; but he was 
embarrassed and he asked only, "How 


1 it be that hell is so crowded? 
"Because only heaven is infinite,” Sit 
well told him. 

“You know about heaven, too?" 

Of course. It’s the parent corpora- 
tion. But now I really must be geuing 
along. 1 have an appointment in Pough: 
keepsie. Good luck, Mr. Edelstein.” 

Sitwell waved and turned and walked 
out through the locked solid door. 


Edelstein sat perfectly still for five 
minutes. He thought about Eddie Mano- 
witz. His wort enemy! That was laugh- 
able; hell had really gouen its wires 
crossed. on that. piece of information. He 
had known Manowitz for 20 years, saw 
him nearly every day, played chess and 
gin rummy with him. They went for walks 
together, saw movies together, at least 
one night a week they ate dinner together 

It was true, of course, that Manowitz 
could sometimes open up a big mouth 
and overstep the boundaries of good 

ic. 

Sometimes Manowitz could be down- 
right rude. 

To be perlecly hones, Manowitz 
had, on more than one occasion, been 
insulting. 

“But we're friends,” Edelstein 
himself. “We are friends, aren't we 

There was an casy way to test it, he 
realized. He could wish for $1,000,000. 
That would give Manowitz $2.000,000. 
But so whit? Would he, a wealthy man, 
care that his best friend was wealthier? 

Yet He would care! He damned 
well would care! It would eat his life 
away if a wise guy like Manowitz got 
rich on Edelstein's wish. 
delstein 


thought. "An 


hour ago, s à poor but contented 
man. Now I have three wishes and an 
enem 


He found that he was twisting his 


(yoko-tobi. 


The Flying Side Kic 
ishing speed. 


geri) requires exacti 
t usually takes two years to perfect t 
In Karate, the black belt is the highest recognition of individual achiev 


balance and 
is technique. 


Not every man gets to wear the Black Be! 


©1965 LEEMING DIVISION. CHAS. PFIZER & CO. INC., NEWYORK. N.Y. 


Black Belt is made for men who don’t 
have to prove anything to anybody. 
They know their power. And that’s that. 
After Shave and Cologne. 


Some men will wear the Black Belt. 
Some won't. 


195 


PLAYBOY 


hands together again. He shook his head. 
"This was going to need some thought. 


In the next week, Edelstein managed 
to get a leave of absence from his job 
nd sat day and night with a pen and 
pad in his hand. At first, he couldn't get 
his mind off castles. Castles seemed to go 
with wishes. But, on second thought, it 
was not a simple matter. T 
werage dream castle a 
thick stone wall, grounds and the rest, 
one had to consider the matter of up- 
keep. There was heating to worry about, 
the cost of several servants, because any- 
thing less would look ridiculous. 

So it came at last to a matter of money. 

I could keep up a pretty decent castle 
on $2000 a week, Edelstein thought, jot- 
ting figures down rapidly on his pad. 

But that would mean that Manowitz 
would be maintaining two tles on 
54000 a week! 


By the second week, Edeluein had 
gotten past castles and was speculating 
feverishly on the endless possibilities and 
combinations of travel. Would it be too 
much to ask for a cruise around the 
world? Perhaps it would; he wasn't even 
sure he was up to it. Surcly he could 
accept a summer in Europe? Even a 
two-week vacation at the Fontainebleau in 
Miami Beach to rest his nerves. 

But Manowitz would get two vacations! 
If Edelstein stayed at the Fontainebleau, 
Manowitz would have a penthouse suite 
at the Key Largo Colony Club. Twice. 

Te was almost better to stay poor and 
to keep Manawitz deprived. 

Almost, but not qui 


During the final week, Edelstein was 
getting angry and desperate, even. cyn 
cal. He sid to himself, Pm an idiot, how 
do I know that there's anything to this? 
So Sitwell could walk through doors; 
docs that make him a magician? Maybe 
I've been worried about nothi 

He surprised himself by standing up 
abruptly and saying, in a loud, fum 
voice, "I want twenty thousand. dollars 
and I want it right now." 

He felt a gentle tug at his right but- 
tock. He pulled out his wallet. Inside it, 
he found a certified check made out to 
him for $20,000. 

He went down to his bank and cashed 
the check, trembling, certain that the 
police would grab him. The manager 
looked at the check and initialed it. The 
teller asked him what denominations he 
wanted it in. Edelstein told the teller to 
credit it to his account. 

As he left the bank, Manowitz came 
ar, joy and 


m 


rushing in, an expression of f 
bewilderment on his face. 
jelstein hurried home befor 


Mano- 


196 witz could speak to him. He had a pain 


in his stomach for the rest of the day. 


Idiot! He had asked for only a lousy 
520000. But Manowiz had gouen 
$40,000! 


A man could die from the aggrava 

Edelstein spent his days alteri 
between apathy and rage. TI 
the stomach had come back, 
meant that he was probably giving him- 
self an ulcer. 

Tt was all so damned unfair! Did he 
have to push himself into an carly grave, 
worrying about Manowitz? 

Yes! 

For now he realized that Manowitz 
was really his enemy and that the 
thought of enriching his enemy was liter- 
ally Killing him. 
He thought about that and then said 
to himself, Edelstein, listen to me; you 
can't go on like this, you must get some 
action 

But how? 

He paced up and down his apartment. 
The pain was definitely an ulcer; what 
else could it be? 

Then it came to him. Edelstein 
stopped pacing. His eyes rolled wildly 
and, seizing paper and pencil. he made 
some lighming culations. When he 
finished. he was flushed, excited—happy 
for the first time since Sitwell’s visit. 

He stood up. He shouted. “I want six 
hundred pounds of chopped chicken liver 
and I want it at once!” 

"The caterers began to arrive within 
five minutes. 

Edelstein ate several giant portions of 
chopped chicken liver, stored two pounds 
of it in his refrigerator and sold most of 
the rest to a caterer at half price, making 
over $700 on the deal. The janitor had 
to take away 73 pounds that had been 
overlooked. Edelstein had a good laugh 
at the thought of Manowitz standing in 
his apartment up to his neck in chopped 
ch 


which 


en liver. 

His enjoyment was shortlived. He 
learned that Manowitz had kept ten 
pounds for himself (the man always had. 
had a gross appetite), presented five 
pounds to a drab litde widow he was 
uying to make an impresion on and 
sold the rest back to the caterer for one 
third off, earning over $2000. 

I am the world’s prize imbecile, Edel- 
stein thought. For a minute's stupid 
satisfaction, I gave up a wish worth con- 
servatively $100,000,000. And what do I 
get out of it? Two pounds of chopped 
chicken liver, a few hundred dollars and 
the lifelong friendship of my janitor! 

He knew he was killing himself from 
sheer brute aggravation. 

He was down to one wish now. 

And now it was crucial that he spend 
that final wish wisely. But he had to ask 
for something that he wanted desperate- 


ly—someth 
like at all. 

Four weeks had gone by. One da 
Edelstein realized glumly that his time 
was just about up. He | icked his 
brain, only to confirm his worst suspi- 
cions: Manowitz liked everything that he 
liked. Manowitz liked castles, women, 
alth, cars, vacations, wine, music. food. 
tever you named, Manowitz the copy- 
cat liked it. 

Then he remembered: Manowitz. by 
some strange quirk of the taste buds, 
could not abide lox 

But Edelstein didn 
not even Nova Scotia 

Edelstein prayed: Dear God, who is in 
charge of hell and heaven, I have had 
three wishes and uscd two miserably. 
Listen, God, I don’t mean to be ungrate- 
ful, but I ask you. if a man happens to 
be granted three wishes. shouldn't he be 
able to do better for himself than I have 
done? Shouldn't he be able to have some- 
thing good happen to him without 
filling the pockets of Manowitz, his worst 
enemy, who docs nothing but collect 
double with no effort or pain? 

The final hour arrived. Edelstein grew 
calm, in the manner of a man who had 
accepted his fate. He realized that his 
hatred of Manowitz was futile, unworthy 
of bim. With a new and sweet serci 
he said to himself, I am now going to ask 
for what I, Edelstein, personally want. If 
Manowitz has to go along for the ride, it 
simply can't be helped. 

Edelstein stood up very straight. He 
said, “This is my last wish. I've been a 
bachelor too long. What I want is a 
woman whom I can marry. She should 
be about five feet, four inches tall, weigh 
about 115 pounds, shapely, of course, 
and with naturally blonde hair. She 
should be intelligent, practical, in love 
with me, Jewish. of course, but sensual 
and fun-loving. 

The Edelstein m 
into high gea: 

"And especially.” he added, "she 
should be—I don't know quite how to 
put this—she should be the most, the 
maximum, that I want and can handle, 
speaking now in a purely sexual sense. 
You understand what I mean, Sitwell? 
Delicacy forbids that T should spell it out 
more specifically than that, but if the 
matter must be explained to you. . . ." 
There was a light, somehow sexual 
pping at the door. Edelstein went to 
it, chuckling to hinself. Over 
twenty thou two pounds of 
chopped chicken liver and now this! 
Manowiv, he thought. I have you now: 
Double the most a man wants is some- 
thing I probably shouldn't have wished 
on my worst enemy, but I did. 


ng that Manowitz would not 


e lox, either, 


d suddenly moved 


[ 
answer 
and dolla 


“I use this brand myself and, believe me, it works.” 


197 


PLAYBOY 


BASIC WARDROBE (5554 from page 100) 


the most important category of dothing 
in your closet. The cut. color and/or pat- 
tern directly affect hoth your business 
and social lives and give the informed 
observer immediate insight about how 
up you are on current trends. Although 
we've listed four suits in our chart (plus 
a shirt suit and a black dinner jacket 
and trousers), you'll want to amive at 
your own optimal number, keeping in 
mind that versatility in proportion to 
your income is what you're after. 

Most suits today reflect some degree of 
influence. Jacket lines are 
; with higher arm- 
jonally, roped shoulders 


holes and, occa: 
squared-off shoulder that rises slight 
ly where the sleeve meets the shoulder 
padding), wider lapels and a deep cen- 
ter vent. Although single-breasteds are 
more comfortable to wear than double- 
breasteds, you'll want both. The si: 
button double-breasted three-to-button is 
being given tough competition by styles 
with one- or two-to-button that show 
more of your shirt and tie. 

In our basiccwardrobe chart, you'll no- 
tice we've listed two dark suits—one for 
business and a more dashing model for 
inner, theater and after. In addition, a 
light-colored suit in, perhaps, twill or 
linen and another in tweed or plaid will 
come in handy—either for business or to 
wear on casual weckends. Your occupa 
tion will determine what cuts and pat- 
terns to choose, just as your locale will 
dictate the weight of fabric you want. 
Offering a refreshing change of pace 
re the belted business suits that come 
with matching self-belt or a contrasting 
one that's color coordinated 1o the mate- 
rid. Both are usually designer-created 
fashions (by this we mean a style from 
the workshop of an individual designer, 
such as Bill Blass or Pierre Cardin) and 
both are more often found in men’s 
boutiques than in the neighborhood hab- 
erdashery. Before buying, however, we 
recommend that you try on other avant 
suit styles—rich wide-wale corduroys, 
velvets in strong and subdued colors and, 
possibly, a belted shirt suit th 
for a cocktail party. And wl 
tion arrives that specifies black tie, you'll 
it to show up attired in black dinner 
jacket and formal trousers, the cut of the 
coat being influenced by your own height 
nd weight and style preferences, for the 
days of identical penguin-look formal- 
wear are stone-cold dead. 

"Turning to sports jackets, the inter- 
national favorite remains the navy-blue 
blazer, which came into existence when 


the captain of H.M.S. Blazer ordered his 
crew to spruce up th 


ppearance by 
wearing blue jackets with metal buttons. 
One double-breasted navy model is all 
you'll really need. Then concentrate on 
collecting other equally flattering jackets 


gg that draw attention to your fashion inde- 


pendence—say, a lightweight suede bush 
jacket, a single-breasted velvet style or 
a patterned tweed or plaid shaped coat 
with wider lapels and an ample amount 
of flare from the waist. 

Under the category of jackets, we also 
include sweaters—an item of 
that’s curently in 


state of transition, 
Although there ure plenty of V-necks, 
crew-necks, turtlenecks and cardi 
the market in both patterned and solid 
shades, the fashion-conscious buyer is 
acquiring both European-inspired si 
sweaters that are shorter and 
ribbed, so that they hug the body, and 
longer belted cardigans and. turtlenecks 
in assorted colors, which may take the 
place of jackets. 

A portion of your basic slacks wardrobe, 
of course, should be coordi 
jacket selections. Two solid 
y and the other brown or black 
a good-looking beginning. Then 
patterned. wool and Dacron blend that 
Keeps its press and a minimum of three 
paits of casual slacks in such interesting 
materials as polished leather, suede, wide- 
wale corduroy and velvet. Wide straight- 
cut or flared styles cither cuflless or with 
two-inch cuffs are both correct. 

What kind of shoes you slip into, lace 
up or buckle, depends on how conserva 
tive or daring your suit, sports jacket 
and slacks wardrobes are. Regardless of 
your cothing preferences, be sure to 

k, so that you can change 
your r often—thus giving each 
pair a chance to rest a day or two before 
being worn again. Business requires that 
most guys own no less than four pairs of 
black and brown shoes in broad-tocd 
oxfords and slip-ons. Alter working 
hours, casual brighter-colored suedes and 
patents in both solids and two-tones (the 
Tatter includes such opposites as red and 
green) are being combined with slacks in 
bold plaids and solids. You'll also want 
one pair of demiboots to wear with a 
tweed or corduroy suit and other more 
informal outfits 

So that you'll be as well shirted as you 
are shod. your collection of dress sl 
should be fairly extensive (we 
mend at least a dozen)—and it will give 
greater fashion versatility to your more 
limited suit and sports-jacket wardrobes 
we're advocating. Collar styles are one 
of the most important considerations— 
longer points, medium spreads and high- 
er neckbands are all currently correct. 
French cuffs should be held together 
with a pair of elegant links. However, 
also check out models with double but- 
tons to be worn as an interesting alter- 
native. Colored shirts in bold solids, 
varying stripe widths and fancy prints, 
as we all know, have eclipsed whites. 
‘Then fill the remaining space in your 
bureau drawer with whatever leather, 
knit and woolen looks you choose— 


often 


along with a couple of formal shirts. 

While shopping for your dress shirts, 
buy an ample supply of four-to-five-inch- 
wide ties, as this allows you to coordinate 
both color and pattern. We think six 
solids and eighteen patterns are a reason 
able number—again for greater versati 
ity. Add to these a halfdozen floppy bow 
ties, making sure one is a black dinner- 
jacket butterfly style, and six silk neck and 
pocket squares, both solid and pattemed. 

In our chart, we've listed outerwear 
requirements as two topcoats (dark cam- 
els hair and cavalry twill); one dark 
cashmere overcoat, depending on cli- 
mate; two raincoats (one double- and 
one single-breasted); one informal coat 
in tweed or suede; and two jackets 
(fitted leather or furtined). All your 
more formal outerwear and your rain 
gear should fit close to the body and 
feature higher armholes just as your 
suits do, thus giving the garments a lcan, 
tailored look, which we heartily recone 
mend. Other details to watch for include 
a deep center vent and a wide collar. We 
leave casual coats and jackets to your own 
choosing, as the pickings are plentiful. 

When selecting sleepwear, you'll want 
about three sets (one should be a one- 
piece jump suit to be worn for late- 
evening loun hout a robec). Of 
course, there will be times when you will 
need a robe, and we think three should 
serve you in good stead: a cotton or 
syntheticblend all-purpose kimono. a 
short temycloth around for the 
bath and a full-length belted cashmere 
diessing gown that marks you as a gen- 
deman of taste and means, 

Lastly, you'll want 12 pairs of over- 
the-calf hose, 12 sets of underwear, four 
pairs of gloves (heavy pigskin gauntlets, 
calf for daytime dress, string-back leather 
for driving and sport, and suede dress), 
three belts (two wide and one narrow), 
two mufilers and hats, 21. pocket hand- 
kerchiels, jewelry and whatever active 
sportswear fills your personal athletic 


wrap 


These basic fashion requirements for 
an urban male should not be interpreted 
as bare minimum. Your own income and 
life style, as we said, are the factors that 
determine just how extensive your ward- 
robe will be. And, obviously, we can't 
cover all the items of masculine apparel 
in men’s stores and boutiques—nor have 
we attempted to. But we do think that 
whats in a man's wardrobe should be 
up to date and this calls-for a constant 
weeding out of the old to make room 
for the new. Next month's Spring and. 
Summer Fashion Forecast will provide 
additional insipht on lighter-weight gear. 
"We suggest you tune in to it for our 
prognostications on what's soon to be 
in store—and in style—during the warm 
months ahead. 
[Y] 


RUDOLPH IN MONEYLAND 


(continued from page 102) 
s toward Calderwood's 
office. His mouth was dry and he had to 
wipe the palms of his hands against 
trousers to get the sweat off them, but he 
made himself walk slowly, as usual, and 
iod and smile to the people he knew in 
the store. 

Calderwood's door was open and Cal- 
derwood saw him immediately and said, 
“Come Rudy, and close the door 
behind you." The papers that had been 
in the manila envelope were spread over 


went downsti 


the desk. 
Rudolph sat down across from the old. 
man and waited. 
Rudy" Calderwood said mildly, 


"you're the most astonishing young man 
I've ever come across." 

Rudolph said nothing. 

"Who else has seen all this?” Calder- 
wood waved a hand over the papers on 
his desk. 

“Nobody.” 

“Who typed them up? Miss Giles?” 

"I did. At home.” 

You think of everything, don't you?" 
It was not a reproach, but it wasn't a 
compliment, cither. 

Rudolph kept quiet. 

"Who told you I owne 
of land out near the lake? 
asked flatly. 

The land was owned by a corporation 
with a New York address. It had 
taken all of Johnny Heath's cleverness to 


thirty acres 
Calderwood 


find out that the real owner of the 
corporation was Duncan Galderwood, 
"m afraid I can't say, sir,” Rudolph said. 


ant say, can’t say." Calderwood ac- 
cepted it, with a touch of impatience. 
"The feller can’t say. Rudy, I haven't 
caught you in a lie since the first day L 
set eyes on you and I don't expect you to 
lie to me 

I won't | 


sir," Rudolph said. 
hed at the papers on 
some sort of wick to 


" Rudolph said. "It's a sugges- 
is to how you can take advantage of 
your position and your various assets. To 
expand with the community and divers 
fy yo ests. To profit from the tax 
laws and, at the same time, protect your 
estate for your wife and children when 
you die 
“How many pages 
Calderwood said. “Fifty, sixty? 
ifty-three,” 
‘Some suggestion.” Calderwood snorted. 
id you think this up all by yourself?" 
"Yes" Rudolph didn't feel he had 
to tell Calderwood that for months he 
had methodically picked Johnny Heath’s 
brain and that Johnny's legal talent was. 
responsible for the more involved sec- 
tions of the over-all plan. 


intei 


“I thought you'd like to know, Miss Brown, 
that so far, [our of the men [rom your office have 
offered to pay your hospital bill.” 


“AIL right, all right" Calderwood 
grumbled. “FI look into it.” 

“If I may make the suggestion, sir," 
Rudolph said, “I think you should talk 
this over with your lawyers in New York 
and your bankers.” 

What do you know about my law- 
vers in New York?" Calderwood asked 
iously. 

. Calderwood.” Rudolph said, “I've 
been working for you for a long time." 

“OK. Supposing, after studying this 
some more, I sa nd do the whole 
goddamn thing the way you outline it— 
go public, float a stock issue, borrow 
from the banks, build the goddamn 
shopping center near the lake, with a 
theater, too, like an idiot; supposing I 
do all that: what's in it for you? 

“I would expect to be made chairman 
of the board, with you as president of 
the company, at iate salar 
Rudolph said, “and an option to buy a 
certain amount of stock in the next five 
years.” Good old Johnny Heath. Don't 
niggle. Think big. 

“You've got © 
haven't you, Rudy?” 
akly hostile. 
"ve been working on this plan for 
more than a year,” Rudolph said mildly. 
"I've tried to face all the problems." 

"And if I just say no,” Calderwood 
said, "if I just put all this pile of papers 
in a file and forget it. then what would 
you do? 

“Vm afraid Vd have to tell you Fm 
leaving at the end of the year, Mr. 
Calderwood,” Rudolph said. “I'm afraid 
I'd have to look for something with more 
of a future for me." 
got along without you for a long 


ything figured out, 
Now Calderwood 
was fr: 


said. “I could 


time,” iderwood 
along without you now 

"Of course yon could." Rudolph said. 

Calderwood looked down morosely at 
his desk, flicked out a sheet of paper 
from a pile, glared at h especial 
distaste. "A theater" he said angrily. 
“We already have a theater in town. 

“They're tearing it down next year," 
Rudolph said. 
ou sure do your homework, don't 
you" Calderwood said. “They're not go 
ing to announce it until July. 

"Somebody always talks,” 
said. 

"So it seems. And somebody always 

listens, don't th 
“Yes, sir." Rudolph smiled. 
Finally, Calderwood smiled, too. “What 
kes Rudy run, ch?" he said 
“That's not my sty! ill," Rudolph 
said evenly. “You know that.” 

“Yes, I do," Calderwood adn 
“I'm sorry 1 said it. All right. Get back 
to work. You'll be hearing from me: 

He was staring down at the pape 
his desk as Rudolph left his office. 
dolph walked. slowly. as usual, sm 
benevolently and. youthfully among the 
counters on the ground floor of the store. 

The plan that hc had submitted to 
Calderwood was a compl 
he had argued every po 
community was growing and growing in 
the direction of the lake. What 
more, the neighboring town of Cedartoi 
about ten miles away and linked with 
Whitby by a new highway, was also 
growing in the direction of lake 
Suburban shopping centers were spring: 
ing up all over America and people were 
becoming accustomed to doing the greater 
part of their shopping, for all sorts of 


get 


Rudolph 


was 


the 


199 


PLAYBOY 


200 


things, in them. Calderwood's 30 acres 
were strategically placed for a market to 
siphon off trade from both towns and 
from the uppermiddleclass homes. that 
dotted the borders of the lake. If Calder- 
wood didn't make the move himself, 
somebody or some corporation would 
undoubtedly seize the opportunity in the 
next year or two and, besides profiting 
from the new trade, would cut drastically 
nto Calderwood’s volume of business in 
the Whitby store. Rather than allow a 
competitor to undermine him, it was to 
Calderwoed's advantage to compete, even 
tially, with himself. 

In hís plans, Rudolph had argued for 
a place for a good restaurant, as well as 
the theater, to make the center a place 
that people would go to not only dur- 
ing the day but in the evening as well. 
‘The theater, used for plays during the 
summer, could be turned into a movie 
house the rest of the year. He also pro- 
posed building a middle-priced housing 
development. along the lake, where bu 
ness blocks were prohibited by the zoning 
laws, and suggested finding a light indus 
try to contract for a factory to be cor 
structed on the marshy and, up to now, 
unusable land at one end of Calde 
wood's holdings. 

Coached by Johnny Heath, Rudolph 
had meticulously outlined all the bene- 
fits the law allowed on enterprises of this 
ind—low-rate, risk-free loans from the 


‘ederal Government, tax exemption on 


the interest on the loans, deducti 
depreciation over iod of te 
on the value of the entire property, once 
had been built, all of which could be 
pplied on Calderwood's tax bill against 
the profits of the Whitby store, if the 
project was all incorporated into the one 


company. 
He was sure that his arguments for 
ng a public company out of the new 
Association were bound 10 
‘The real assets and 
the earning power, first of the store 
then of the center, would ensure 
price of issue for the stock. By holding a 
comparatively small percentage of the 
stock, Calderwood would retain. control, 
while paying only a 25-percent capital 
gain on the stock he sold. It would mean. 
a huge influx of cash for Calderwood, 
cash that could be reinvested in iis turn, 
to bring in more income. And when 
Calderwood died. his heirs—in this case, 
his wile and three daughters—would not 
be faced with the possibility of | 
sell 
prices to pay the inl 


mi 


Calderwood 
sway the old man. 


the bu: self at 


ICs 


but 
could sell off blocks of stock while hold- 


ta 


ce taxes, 
g onto the controlling interest in the 
corporation. 

In the vear that Rudolph had been 
working on the plan and digging into 
on and tax and realty laws, he 
ly amused by the man- 
y protected itself. lc- 


corpor 
had been cy 
ner in which mor 


gally in the American system. He had no 
moral feeling about trying to turn the 
law to his own advantage. The game had 
rules. You leaned the rules and abided 
by them. If there was another set of 
rules, you would abide 

Professor Denton ting for him 
at the bar, looking uncomfortable and 
out of place among the other patrons, 
none of whom looked as though he had 
ever been near a college 

“Good of you.” Denton said in a low, 
hurried voice, “good of you to come, 
Jordache. Pm drinking bowbon. Can I 
order you something? 

I almost never drink during the day, 
Rudolph said, then was sorry he had said 
it, because it sounded disapproving of 
Denton, who was drinking at a quarter 
past noon. 

"Quite right" Denton said, "quite 
right, Keep the head clear. Ordinarily, 
J wait until the day's work is over m| 
self, but. . .." He took Rudolph's arm. 
“Perhaps we can sit down.” He waved 
toward the last booth of the row u 
lined the wall opposite the bar. “L know 
you have to get back.” He left some 
change on the bar for his drink, carefully 
counting it out, and, still with his hand 
holding Rudolph's arm, guided him to 
the booth. He 
but not disagreeable odor of classroom. 
"They sat down, facing exch other. There 
were two greasy menus on the table and 
they studied them. 

“TM take the soup and the hamburg- 
cr" Denton said to the waitress. "And a 
cup of coffee. How about you, Jordache? 

“The same,” Rudolph said. 

The waitres wrote the order down 
laboriously on her pad, illiteracy a fami- 
ly memory. She was a woman of about 
60, gray-haired amd shapeless in an ir 
congruously pert. revealing orange un 
form, with a coquettish small Lice apron. 
ying its iron debt to the ideal 
ical. that youthful country. Her 
ankles were swollen and she shuffled flatly 
as she went buck toward the kitchen. 

“You're doing well, Jordache.” Den. 
ton said, hunched over the table, his 
eyes worried and magnified behind the 
thick steclrimmed glasses, his tousled 
grav hair professorial, He waved hi 
hand impatiently, to ward off any con- 


tradiction. "I hear, I hear,” he said. 
get reports [rom many sources. Mrs, 
Denton, for one. Faithful customer. She 


must be in the store three times a week. 
You must see her from time to time.’ 

1 ran into her only last week,” Ru- 
doiph said. 

“She tells me the store is booming, 
booming, a new lease on life, she says. 
Very bigcity. All sorts of new things 
Well, people like to buy things. And 
everybody seems to have money these days. 
Except college professors" Indigence 
ased Denton's forehead briefly. "No 


matter. I didn't come here to complain. 
No doubt about it, Jordache, you did well 
to turn down the job in the de 
‘The academic world,” he sa 
“Rife with jealousy, cabals, treachery, 
ingratitude; a man has to walk as if on 
eggs. Beiter the world of business. Give 
and take. Dog eat dog. Frankly. On the 
up and up.” 


“It isn’t exactly like that.” Rudolph 
said mildly. “Busines.” 
“No, of course not," Denion said. 


“Everything is modified by cha 
doesn't pay to ride a theory too | 
you lose sight of the reality, the living 

pe. At any rate, I'm gratified by your 
success and fm sure that there was no 
compromise of principle involved, none 
whatsoever.” 

The waitress appeared with their sou 
Denton spooned in his mournlully. "Yes. 
he said, “if 1 had it to do all over again, 
I'd avoid the ivy-covered walls like the 
plague. "They have made me what you 
see today, a narrow man, an embittered 
man, a failure, a coward... .” 
wouldn't call you any of those 
;" Rudolph said. He was surprised 
at Denton's description of himself. Den- 
ton had always seemed to Rudolph to be 
pleased with himself, enjoying acting out 
ns of economic villainy and the 
corruption of history in his classtoom be- 
fore a captive audience of young people. 

“I live in fear and trembling,” Den- 

ton said through the soup. “Fear and 
rembling.” 
“If 1 can help vo 
Rudolph began. "I'd. 
re a good soul. Jordache. à good 
soul" Denton said. "I picked you out 
immediately. Serious among the frivolous. 
‘Thoughtful among the unthinking. Com- 
passionate among the piules. On the 
search for knowledge, where others were 
merely searching lor advancement. Oh, 
Tve watched you carefully through the 
s. Jordache. You're go 
Mark my words. I have been teaching 
young men for over twenty ycars, thou 
sands of yo they have no secrets 
from me, their future has no mysteries 
for me. Mark my words, Jordache.” 

He finished his soup and the waitress 
came and removed the two bowls and 
put down their hamburgers and coffee 


in any wa 


“Before the war" Denton went on. 
chewing, “there were more young men 
of your mold, clearsecing, dependable. 


honorable. Most of them are dead now, 


killed in places whose names we have 
almost forgotten. The best go first, of 
course. This generation”—he shrugged 
despairingly. "Crafty, careful, loo 


to get something for nothing, hypocriti- 
cal. You'd be astounded by the amount 
of cheating. l find in each 
mination and term paper. Ah, if I 
had the money. I'd get away from it 
all, live on an island." He looked. nerv 
ously at his watch. “Time, ever on the 


e 


and. hurry!” 


“Send over some more birdseed- 


201 


PLAYBOY 


wing,” he said. He looked around the 
rk bar conspiratorially. The booth 
t to theirs was empty and the four 
or five men hunched over the bar near 
the doorway were well out of earshot 
Tight as well get to the nub of it." 
Denton dropped his voice 
forward over the table. “I'm 
Jordache 

He's going to ask me for the n 
, Rudolph thought wild- 
ON THE CAMPU He saw the 
HISTORY PROFESSOR MAKES HIS- 
TORY BY MOONLIGHT WITH COED. DOCTOR 
IN TA." Rudolph tried to keep his face 
noncommittal and went on cating. The 
hamburger was gray and soggy and the 


headlines. 


potatoes oily. 
"You heard what I said?” Denton 
whispered. 
You're in trouble, you said. 


“Exactly.” There was a professorial 
tone of approval—the student had. been 
ig attention. “Bad trouble.” Denton. 
is coffee, Socrates and hemlock. 
"€ out to get mi 
Who's out to get you? 

My enemies." Denton's eyes scanned 
the bar, searching out enemies disguised 
as workmen drinking beer. “There are 
currents, currents," Denton said, “ripples 
and eddies and whirlpools that the under- 
graduate never has an inkling of. In the 
faculty rooms, on the faculty boards, in 
the offices of power. In the office of the 
president himself, 1 am too outspoken, it 
is a failing of mine: I am naive, 1 have 
believed in the myth of academic fre 
dom. My enemies have bided my time; 
the vice-chairman of the department—I 
should have fired him years ago, a hope 
less scholar, I restrained myself only out 
of pity. lamemable weakness. As T said. 
the vice-chair yearning for my job, 
has prep: scraps of gossip 
over a drink, lines out of context, insinua- 
tions. They are preparing to offer me up 
as a sacrifice, Jordache.” 
think you'd better tell me spe 
cally what's happening," Rudolph said. 
Then perhaps d be better able to judge 
if 1 could help.” 

The witch-hunt" Denton stid. “You 
read the papers like everybody cls 
Throw the Reds out of our schools.” 

Rudolph laughed. “I'm sure you have 
nothing to worry about, Professor.” he 
said. He decided to make it seem like 
a joke. “I was afraid it was something 
serious. 1 thought maybe you'd got a giil 
pregnant," 

"You cin laugh," Denton said. "Ar 
your age. Nobody laughs in a college or 
à university anymore, The wildest charges. 
^ five-dollar contribution to an obscure 
1 reference to. Karl Marx 
d's sake, how is a man 
10 teach the economic theories of the 19th 
Century without mentioning Karl Marx? 
An ironic joke, picked up by some Stone 


nan, 


202 Age moron in a dass in American history 


and repeated to the moron's father, who 
is the commander of the local American. 
Legion post. Ah, you don't know, boy, 
you don't know. And Whitby gets a 
yearly grant from the state. For the 
school of agriculture. So some windbag 
of an Upstate legislator makes a speech, 
forms a committee, demands an investi 
gation, gets his name in the newspaper 
—pauiot, defender of the faith. A spe- 
Gal board has been set up within the 
college, Jordache—don't mention it to 
à soul—ficaded by the president, to inves 
ite charges against various members of 
the faculty. They hope to head off the 
state, throw them a few bodies mine 
chief among them. not imperil the grant 
from the state: does the picture grow 
dearer, Jordache?” 

“Oh, Christ!” Rudolph said. 

“Exactly. ‘Oh, Chiist I don't know 
what your pol 

^E don't h y politic 
said, “I vote independently." 

"Excellent, excellent Denton said 
Ithough it would have been better if 
you were a registered Republican. And 
to think that | voted for Eisenhower 
He laughed hollowly. "My son was in 
Koren and he promised to end the 
war But how to prove it. There is 
much to be said for public balloting.” 

What do you want me to do, Profes 
" Rudolph asked. “Specifically 
Now we come to it,” Denton said, 
He finished his coffee. “The board 
meets to consider my case one week 
from today, Tuesday at two Pat. Mark 
the hour. I have only been allowed to 
see a general outline of the charges 
against me—contribution to Commu- 
the Thirties, 
atheistic and radical utterances in the 
classroom. the recommendation of cer- 
tain books of a doubtful character for 
outside reading. usual academic 
hatchet job, Jordache, all too us 
With the temper of the country wh 
is with that man Dulles rowing up 
and down the world, preaching nuclear 
destruction, with the most eminent men 
traduced and dismissed like errand boys 
in Washington, a poor teacher can be 
ruined by a whisper, the merest whisper. 
Luckily, they still have a sense of sh 
at the college, although I doubt it will last 
the year, and | am to have a chance to 
defend myself, bring in witnesses to vouch 
for me. 
What do you want me 1o 
Whatever you will, boy.” Denton 
said. his voice broken. "I do not plan 
to coach you what you think of 
me. You were in three of my d 
had many instructive hours outside the 
courses, you have been to my house 
You're a clever young man, you are not 
to be fooled. You know me as well as 
any man in this town. Say what you 
will. Your reputation is high, your rec 
ord at the college was impeccable, not 


Rudolph 


nist front organizations i 


The 


ame 


S, we 


blot on it, you are a risi 
nessman, untainted, your testimon 
be of the utmost value.” 

“OF course,” Rudolph said. Premoni- 
ions of trouble. Attacks. Calderwood's 
attitude. Dragging the store into poli. 
tics on the Communist “ol 
course Ell testify,” he said. This is the 
wrong day for something like this, he 
thought annoyedly. He suddenly and 
for the first time understood the exqu 
site pleasure that cowards must enjoy. 

“I knew you would say that, Jor- 
dache.” Denton gripped his hand cmo- 
tionally across the table. “You'd be 
surprised at the refusals I've had from 
men who have been my friends for 
twenty years, the hedging. the pusilla- 
nimity. This country is becoming a haunt 
of whipped dogs, Jordache. Do you wish 
me to swear to you that I have never been 
a Communist?” 

“Don't be absurd, Professor," Ru 
dolph said, He looked at his watch. 
“I'm afraid I've got to get back to the 
store. When the board meets, Til be 
there.” He dug into his pocket for his 
money clip. "Let me pay my sh 

Rudolph walked slowly back tow: 
the store, leaving his coat ope: 
though the wind was keen and the day 
raw. The sweet looked as it always 
looked and the people passing him di 
not scem like whipped dogs. Poor Den 
ton. He remembered that it was in 
Denton's classes that he had been given 
the first glimmerings of how to mak 
himself successfully into a c list. He 
laughed to himself. Denton, poor bas- 
tard, could not afford to laugh. 

He was still hungry alter the disas- 
trous meal and, once in the store, he 
went to the fount: in the basement 
and ordered a malted milk and drank 
i soprano twitterings of the 
lady shoppers all around him. Their 
world was safe. They would buy dresses 
at $50 that afternoon and portable ra- 
dios and television. consoles and frying 
pans and living-room suites and creams 
for the skin and the profits would mount 
and they were happy over their club sand- 
wiches and ice-cream sodas. 

He looked over the calm, devourin; 
rouged, spending, acquiring faces—moth- 
ers, brides, virgins, spinsters, mistresses— 
istened to the conllicting, upperoaave 
fugues of the confident mid-century An 
ican fen 
bled bouquet of perfumes, congr: 
himself that he was not married and loved 
no one, thought, L cannot spend my life 
serving these worthy women, paid for his 
matted milk and went up to his office. 
ning when he left the store 
B iderwood hadn't said à word 
nce their talk in the morning. "That's 
all I needed today, rain, he thought 
miserably as he made his way through 
the streaming traffic on the motorcycle, 


issu 


le voices, breathed in the jum- 


ulated 


It was r 


the rain seeming to gel into ice as it 
struck e and went down past the 
raised collar of his Mackinaw. He was 
almost home when he remembered that 
he had promised his mother that he 
would do the shopping for dinner. He 
cursed under his breath and turned 
the machine back toward the business sec- 
tion, where the stores remained open 
until seven. A surprise, he remembered 
his mother saying. Your loving son may 
be out on his ass in two weeks, Mother; 
will that be surprise enough? 

He did his shopping hastily—a small 
chicken for frying, potatoes, a can of 
peas, half an apple pie for dessert. As 
he pushed his way through the house- 
aking their last-minute purchases, 
d the interview with Calder- 
wood and grinned sourly. The boy-wonder 
financier, the juggler with millions, the 
tax wizard, surrounded by admiring beau- 
ties, on his way to one of his usual 
elegantly prepared repasts at the family 
mansion, so often. photographed for Life 
and House and Garden. At the la ii 
ute, he bought a bottle of Scotch. This 
was going to be a night for whisky- 

He went to bed early, a litle drunk, 
thinking, just before he dropped off to 
skeep, The only satisfactory thing 1 did 
all day was run this morning. 


The week was routine. When he saw 
Calderwood at the store, he made no 
mention of Rudolph's proposition but 
spoke to him of the ordinary business of 
the store in his usual slightly xasping and 
table tonc. There was no hint, either 
in his manner or in what he said, of any 
ultimate decision. 
mon didn’t call again. Perhaps he 
was afraid that if given a chance at 
further conversation, Rudolph would 
withdraw his offer to speak in his be- 
half before the board the following 
Tuesday afternoon. Rudolph found him- 
self worrying about his appearance before 
the board. There was always the chance 
that some evidence would be produced 
against Denton that Denton didn't know 
about or had hidden that would make 
Rudolph seem like a confederate or a liar 
or a dupe. What worried him more, 
though, was that the board was bound 
to be hostile, prepared to do away with 
Denton a tic to anyone who 
stood Il his life, Rudolph 
had attempted to get people, especially 
older people in authority, to like him. 
The thought of facing a whole room full 
of disapproving academic faces disturbed 
him. Throughout the week, he found 
himself making silent speeches to those 
imagined, unrelenting faces, speeches in 
which he defended Denton honorably 
and well while, at the same time, charm- 
ing his judges. None of the speeches he 
composed seemed, in the end, worth wl 
He would have to go into the board 
meeting as relaxed as possible, gauge the 
temper of the room and extemporaneous- 


“Look at it this way, lady—the whole damn world 
is down there looking up your dress!” 


ly do the best he could for both Denton 
uself. If Calderwood could be kept 


and 
from hearing about his appearance. so 
much the better. There was also the 
ging question of how he could nt him- 
self from the store Tuesday afternoon, 
without lying but without letting Ca 
derwood know what he intended to do. 

By the weekend, he was slecping | 
ly. his dreams lascivious but unsa 
p pulled away from a pi 
girl, her skirts blowing in the wind, 
smiled at him as he ran desperately 
down the pier to catch the ship; he was 
held back by unseen hands, the ship 
pulled away, open water... . 

Sunday morning, with the church 
bells ringing, he decided he couldn't 
stay in the apartment all day, although 
he had planned to go over a copy of the 
papers he had given Calderwood and 
make some corrections and additio 
that had occurred to him during the 
week. But his mother was at her worst 
on Sundays. "The bells made her mou 
ful about her lost religion and she was 
apt to say that if only Rudolph would go 
with her, she would attend Mass, confess, 
take Communion, “The fires of hell are 
ng for me," she said over breakfast, 


and the church and salvation are only 
three blocks away.” 
ome other Sunday, Mom. 
said. "I'm busy today.” 

“I may be dead and in hell by some 
other Sunday,” she said. 


Rudolph 


ke that chance,” 
he said, getting up from the table, and 
he left her weeping. 

Tt was a cold, clear day, the sun a 
bright wafer in the pale winter sky. He 
dressed warmly in a fleece-lined sur- 
plus Air Force jacket, a knitted-wool 
Cip and goggles, and took the motor. 
cycle out of the garage. He hesitated 
about which direction to take. There 
was nobody he wanted to see that day, 
no destination that seemed promising. 
Leisure, the burden of modern man. 

He got on the motorcycle, started it, 
hesitated. A car with skis on its roof 
sped down the street and he thought, 
Why not, that's as good a place as any, 
and followed the car. He remembered 
that Larsen, the young man in the ski 
shop, had told him that there was a 
bam near the bottom of the tow that 
could be converted into a shop for rent 
ing skis on the weekend. Larsen had 
said that there was a lot of moncy to 


203 


PLAYBOY 


204 some business to tr 


be made there. Rudolph felt beuer as 
he followed the car with the ski rack. 
He was no longer aimless. 

He was nearly frozen when he got to 
the slope. The sun, reflected off the snow, 
dazzled him and he squinted at the bright 
ly colored figures swooping toward him 
down the hill, Everybody scemed young 
and vigorous and having a good tim 
and the girls, tight pants stretched over 
trim hips and round buttocks, made lust 
a healthy outdoor emotion for a Sunday 
morning. 

He watched, enjoying the spectacle 
for a while, then turned melancholy 
He felt old and clumsy, lonely and 
deprived amid all those athletes. He 
was about to turn away and get his 
machine and go back to town, whe 
Larsen came skimming down olt the. 
and made a dashing, abrupt stop in 
of him, in a cloud of snow. 

“Hi, Mr. Jordache” Larsen said. He 
had two rows of great shining white 
teeth and he smiled widely. Behind 
him, two girls who had been following 


him came to a halt, 

"Hello, Larsen," Rudolph said. “I 
came out to sce that barn you told mc 
Ibo." 


"Sure thing," Larsen said. Supple, in 
onc casy movement, he bent over to 
free himself from his skis. He was bare- 
headed and his longish fine blond hair 
fell over his eyes as he bent over. 
Looking at him, in his red sweater. 
with the two girls behind him, Ru- 
dolph was sure that Larsen hadn't 
med about any boat pulling away 
a pier thc night before. 

Hello, Mr. Jordache,” one of the 
. “I didnt know you were a 


He peered at her and she laughed. 
She was wearing big green-tinted snow 
goggles that covered most of her small 
face. She pushed the goggles up over 
her red- 


ad-blue woolen ski cap. "I'm in 
she said. 

Now Rudolph recognized her. It was 
Mis Soames, ftom the record shop. 
Jiggling, rounded, blonde, fed by music. 

“Good morning, good morning,” Ru- 
dolph said, somehow flustered, noticing 
how small Miss Soames’ waist was and 
how well rounded her thighs and hips. 
“No, I'm not a skier. I'm a voyeur.” 

Miss Soames laughed. “There's plenty 
to voyeur about up here, isn’t there?" 

“Mi. Jordache . . ." Larsen was out 
of his skis by now, “may I present my 
neće, Miss Packard." 
ckard took off her goggles, 
ad revealed herself to be as pretty 
as Miss Soames and about the same age. 
"Pleasure," she said. Fiancée. People were. 
still marrying. 

“Be back in a half hour or so, girl 
Larsen said. “Mr. Jordache and I have 
cL" He stuck his 


is and poles upright in the snow, as 
the girls, with a wave of their hands, 
ed off to the bottom of the tow. 
“They look like awfully good skiers,” 
Rudolph said as he walked at Larsen's 
side back toward the road. 


"Medioae;" Larsen said carelessly. “But 
they have other d He laughed, 
showing the magnificent teeth in the 


brown face. He made $ a week, Ru- 
dolph knew. How could he be so happy 
on a Sunday morning on $65 a week? 

The bam was about 200 yards away 
and on thc road, a big, solid structure, 
protected from the weather. “All you'd 
need,” Larsen said, “is a big iron stove 
and you'd be plenty warm. I bet you 
could rent a thousand pairs of skis and 
two to three hundred pairs of boots out 
of this place a weckend; and then 
there're the Christmas and Faster vaca- 
tions and the other holidays. And you 
could get two college boys to run it for 
beans. ft could be a gold mine. Next 
year, they're putting in a snow-making 
machine, If we don't do it, somebody 
else sure as hell will. This is only the 
second year for this arca, but it's catch- 
ing on and somebody's bound to sce 
the opportunity." 

Rudolph recognized the argument, so 
much like the one he had used that 
week on Calderwood. and smiled. In 
business, you sometimes were the pusher 
nd sometimes the pushec. I'm a Sund 
pushee, he thought. If we do it, I'll get 
Larsen a good hike in salary. 

Who owns this place?” Rudolph asked. 

“Dunno,” Larsen said. "It's easy enough 
to find out. 

Poor Larsen, Rudolph thought, not 
made for business. If it had been my 
a, I would have had an option to 
buy it before I said a word to anyone. 
“There's a job for you, Larsen," Ru- 
dolph said. "Find out who owns the 
barn, whether he'll rent it and for how 
much, or sell it and for how much. And 
don't mention thc Say you're 
thinking of swinging it yourself." 

I get it, I get it" Larsen said, nod- 
ding seriously. “Keep ‘em from asking too 
much,” 

“We can try" Rudolph said. “Lers 
get out of here. I'm freezing. Is there a 
place to get a cup of coffee near here?” 

Larsen looked at his watch. “It's just 
about time for lunch. "There's a place a 
mile down the road thats not bad. 
Why don’t you join me and the girls 
for lunch, Mr. Jordache?” 

Automatically, Rudolph almost said 
no. He had never been seen outside the 
store with any of the employees, except 
once in a while with one of the buyers 
or a head of a department. Then he 
shivered. He was awfully cold. He had 
to go in someplace. Dancy, dainty Miss 


store, 


Soames, What harm could it do? “Thanks, 
Larsen,” he said. "Fd like that very 
much." 


They walked back toward the ski tow. 
Larsen had a plowing, direct, uncompli- 
cated kind of walk, in his he. i boots 
with their rubber bottoms. The soles of 
Rudolplr's shoes were of leather and the 

as icy and Rudolph had to walk 
tely, almost mincingly. to keep from 
slipping, and he hoped the girls weren't 
watching him. 

The girls were wa 
and Miss Soames 


ing, their skis off, 
was saying, "We're 
who's going to feed the 
even before Larsen had a 


starrrving; 


Larsen said com- 
mandingly, “we're going to [ced you. 
Stop wailing." 
Mr. 


Jordache,” Miss Soames 


r.” She dropped he 
demurely over freckles, the mockery plain. 


“I had an early breakfast,” Rudolph 
said. Clumsy, he thought bitterly. “I 
could stand some food and drink.” He 


turned to 
the machine. 


"FH follow you on 


beautiful thing yours, Mr. 
Soames waved toward 
Where the motorcycle was parked. 

"Yes," Rudolph said 

“I yearn for a ride,” Miss Soames 
said. She had a gushy, cutup manner 
of talking, as though confidences were 
being unwillingly forced from her. "Do 
you think you could find it in your heart 
to let me hang on? 
“Is pretty cold,” Rudolph said stiffly. 
“I have two pairs of long woolen 
nderwear on," Miss Soames said. "I 
guarantee FI be toasty. Benny," she said 
to Larsen, as though the matter were sct- 
tled, “put my skis on your car, like a pal 
I'm going with Mr. Jordache.” 

There was nothing Rudolph could 
do about it and he led the way to the 
machine while Larsen fixed the three 
pairs of skis on the rack of his brand- 
new Ford. How docs he do it on 565 a 
week? Rudolph thought. For an un- 
worthy moment, he wondered if Larsen 
was honest with his accounts at the ski 
shop. 

Rudolph got onto the motorcycle and 
Miss Soames swung lightly on behind 
him, putting her a round his wai 
and holding on firmly, as though thcy did 
things like this every day. Rudolph ad- 
justed his goggles and followed Larsen's 
Ford out of the parking lot. Larsen drove 
fast and Rudolph had to put on speed to 
keep up with him and the wind cut at 
his face. The sun was behind clouds now 
and the world was graying over and it 
was much colder than belore, but Miss 
Soames, holding on tighter than cver, 
shouted in h sn't this blis: 

The restaurant was large and clean 
and noisy with skiers, They found a 
ble near a window and Rudolph took 

ir Force jacket while the others 
stripped themselves of their parkas, Miss 


^ Na he 
g y T 
x 


“Would you have thought twenty-five years ago that our second 
honeymoon would actually be more fun than our first?” 


205 


PLAYBOY 


Soames was wearing a pale-blue cashmere 
sweater, delicately shaped over her small, 
full breasts, Rudolph was wearing a sweat- 
er over a wool shirt and a silk scarf, care- 
fully arranged around his throat. Too 
fancy, he thought, and took it off, pre- 
tending it was warm in the restaurant. 

The girls ordered Cokes and Larsen 
a beer. Rudolph felt he needed some- 
thing more convincing and ordered an 
old fashioned, to take the chill out of 
his bones. When the drinks came, Miss 
Soames raised her glass and made 
toast, clinking her glass against Ru 
dolph’s. “To Sunday," she said, "with- 
out which we'd all just die" She was 
sitting next to Rudolph on the ban- 
queue and he could feel the steady 
pressure of her knee against his. He 
pulled his knee away, slowly, so as to 
ke it seem merely a natural move- 
ment, but Miss Soames’ cyes, clear, cold 
blue, were amused and knowing over 
the rim of her glass as she looked at 
him. She had taken off her cap and her 
thick blonde hair hung looscly down to 
her shoulders and swung in front of 
her face every time she turned her hi 

They all ordered steaks and 
Soames asked for a dime for the juke- 
box and Larsen was faster out of his 
pocket than Rudolph and she took the 
dime from him and climbed over Ru- 
dolph to go to the machine, getting 
leverage by putting her hand on his 
shoulder and walking across the room, 
her tight lush bottom swinging and 
graceful, despite the clumsy boots on 
her fect. 

The music blared out and Miss 
Soames came back to the table, doing 
litle playful dance steps as she crossed 
the floor. This time, as she climbed. 
over Rudolph to her place, there was 
no doubt about what she was doing; 
and when she sat down, she was closer 
than before and the pressure of her 
knee was unmistakable against his. If 
he tried to move away now, everybody 
would notice, so he remained as he was, 

He wanted wine with his steak but 
hesitated to order a bottle, because he 
was afraid the others might dunk he was 
showing off or being superior. He looked 
at the menu. On the back were listed a 
California red and a California white. 
"Would anybody like some wine?" he 
asked, putting the dec elsewher 

^I would," Miss Soames said. 


“Honey?” Larsen turned to Miss 
Packard, 

Jt everybody else does,” she said, 
being agreeable. 


By the time the meal was over, they 
had drunk three bottles of red wine 
among them. Larsen had drunk the 
most, but the others had done their fair 
share. 

"What a story I'll have to well the 
girls tomorrow at the stor," Miss 


205 Soames, flushed rosy now, was saying, 


her knee and thigh rubbing cozily 
against Rudolph’s. “I have been led 
astray on a Sunday by the great, unap- 
proachable Mr. Frigidaire himself.” 

Oh, come on, now, Betsy," Larsen 
said uneasily, glancing at Rudolph to 
see how he had taken the Mr. Frigid- 

“Watch what you're saying.” 
Miss Soames ignored him, sweeping 
loosely back from her 
little, plump, cushiony 
nd his 
«c 


wini 


the crown p 


lured 


me on to drunkenness and loose 
behavior in public. Oh, he's a sly one, 
our Mr. Jordache.” She put a finger up 


to the corner of her eye and winked. 
“When you look at him, you'd think he 
could cool a case of beer with one 
glance of his eyes. But come Sunday, 
aha, out comes the real Mr. Jordache. 
The corks pop, the wine flows, he 
drinks with the help, he laughs at Ben 
Larsen’s corny old jokes, he plays foot 
sie with the poor litde shopgirls from 


the ground floor. My God, Mr. Jor 
dache, you have bony knees.” 

Rudolph couldn't help laughing, and 
the others laughed with him. "Well. you 
don’t, Miss Soames,” he said. “I'm pre- 

red to swear to that. 

Ehe all laughed. again. 

"Mr. Jordache, the daredevil motor- 


cycle rider, the wall of death, sees all, 
knows ail, feels Miss Soames s 
Oh, Christ, I can't keep on calling you 
Mr. Jordache. Can T call you the voung 
master? Or will you seule for Rudy?” 

“Rudy,” 
body else there, he would have grabbed 
her, kissed that flushed small tempting 
face, the glistening, half-mocking, Nall- 
inviting lips. 


he said. If there had been no- 


"Rudy it is." she said. "Call him 
Rudy, Benny 
“Hello. Rudy," Miss Packard said. It 


She didn't 


nything 10 h 
t the store. 
Miss Soames commanded. 
Larsen looked bescechingly Ru- 
dolph. "She's loaded." he b 
Don't be silly, Benny," Rudolph said. 
“Rudy, sen said reluctanth 
"Rudy, the mystery man," Miss 
ames went on. sipping from her wine- 
ss “They lock him away 
me. Nobody sees him except at work, 
no m mo child. Especial 
ly no woman. "There are twenty girls on 
the ground floor alone who weep into 
their pillows nightly for him, to say 


work 
“Benny, 


closing 


no wom: 


nothing of the ladies in the other de- 
partments, and he passes them by with 


a cold, heartless sn 
"Where the hell did you learn to 
that?” Rudolph asked, embar- 
. amused and, he had to admit 
to himself, at the same time, flattered. 
“She is bookish,” Miss Packard said. 
"She reads a book a day. 


Miss Soames ig “He is a 
mystery wrapped in an as Mr. 
Churchill said on another occasion. He 
has bcen reported running at dawn. 
What is he running from? He is report- 
ed as having been seen in New York, i 
low neighborhoods. What s 

it in the big city? Why doesn't he 
commit his sins locally?” 
Larsen said weakly. 


Let's go 


"Tunc in on this same station next 
Sunday and. perhaps all these questions 
Will be answered,” Miss Soames said. 
"You may now kiss my hand." She held 
out her hand, the wrist arched, and 
Rudolph kissed it, blushing, a little. 

"ve got to get back to town," he 
said. The check was on the table and 
he put down some bills. With the tip. 
it came to $15. 


When they went outside, a 
snow was falling. The mountain was 
bleak and dangcrouslooking, its out 


s only suggested in the light swin 
of snow. 

“Thanks for the lunch, Mr. Jor- 
dache," Larsen said. One "Rudy" a week 
was enough for him. "It was great 
really enjoyed it, Mr. Jordache," 
Miss Packard said, practicing to be Lar- 
fe. "I mean, I really did. 

"Come on, Betsy,” Larsen said, "lets 
hit the slope, work off some of that 
wine. 


sen’s w 


am returning to town with my 
good and old fr 
d 


nd. 
ie," 


Rudy, on his 
Mis Soames 


h-defying mach; 
id. "Aren't 1, Rudy: 

“It’s an awfully cold ride," Rudolph 
suid. She looked small and crushable in 


her parka. with the goggles oversized and 
incongruous strapped to her ski cap, press 


ing on her forehead. Her hair was bu 
dled into her cap and made her head, 
especially with the goggles, seem very 
large, a weighty frame for the small, 
wicked face. 

“I will ski no more today," Miss 
Soames said grandly. “I am in the 
mood for other sports.” She went over 
10 the motorcycle. "Let us mount,” she 
iid. 

"You don't have to take her il vou 


don’t want ta” Laren said. anxiously, 
responsible. 
"Oh, let her come," Rudolph said 


c she doesn't 


"Ell go slow and make st 
fall off.” 

"She's a funny girl" Larsen said, still 
worried. "She doesn't know how to 
drink. But she doesn’t mean any harm. 

"She hasn't done any harm, Benny. 
Rudolph patted Larsen's thi 
ered shoulder. "Don't worry. And 
what you can find out about that barn 


. sweat- 
sce 


Back in the safe world of business. 
“Sure thing, Mr. Jordache,” Larse 
said. He and Miss Packard waved 


Rudolph gunned the motorcycle out of 


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12 


{Time is money. 
Wealth is time ro spend money. 


Swissair is fully aware 
that air passengers desperately 
need recreation. 


OT THAT flying 

itself is all that 
strenuous. Orat least 
only for the pilots 
and hostesses. But 
of course you don't 
just simply fly: you fly for a 
particular reason to à partic- 
ular place to do something 
particular. 

And Swissair is well aware 
what exertions lie behind the 
passengers it flies daily to the 
five contin 


vals in Lu- 
y gather- 
ing in Johannesburg. a 
wedding in Montreal, 
carnival in Rio, a disar- 
mament conference at 
Geneva, starting a com- 
pany in Tokyo, attend- 
ing a fair in Copenhagen, 
a meeting (believe it or 
not) in Paris. Or a visit 
to one of the many small 
towns where you have to 
have been seen if you 
want to count. 


give these sorely tried 
contemporaries a mo- 
ment to catch their 
breath, and accordingly 
suggests: 

The next time you 
come to Switzerland 
(and what politician, 
holiday-maker, business- 
man or jet-setter doesn't, 


sooner or later?), see if 
you can't wring two days out 


of your timetable, and take a 
mini-holiday, à la petite carte, 
as we say here, entitled Hel- 
vetian Hideaway. 


+ night at a country 


We're even willing 
to do something 


about it. 


This is how “Helvetian 
Hideaway" works: When you 
land at Zurich, Geneva, or 
Basel, or take off from there, 
| you are given a rental car 
with which you can drive 
| 300 km without extra charge. 


Car rental for two days + 300 km free 
(or the approximate equivalent by rail) 

+ dinner + breakfast + 
relaxation = $15.80 each for two people. 


or a tour ticket on the Swiss 
Federal Railway. You pick 
out the region that appeals to 
you most, and ride around by 
car or rail in Switzerland or 
environs (which might mean 


the Italian Lakes, 
Burgundy, Tyrol. the 
Black Forest, or Up- 
per Bavaria). Some- 
where you spend the 
night in a choice, 
handsome country inn, where 
your stay is as romantic as an 
Alpine hut. as comfortable 
as your bed at home, and the 
cuisine as good as ... well. as 
good as a real country inn. 
And the beauty of it is that 
breakfast and dinner are 
included in the price of 
the two days: $15.80. 

If you can spare an- 
other couple of days (and 
don't feel like leaving). 
you can extend your tour 
as long as you please 
(which costs $10.80. per 
extra day or $5.50 on 
the rail tour), and won- 
der more each day what's 
thesenseinrushingabout 
the world. 


lt won't do you any 
good. Swissair will be 
waiting implacably in 
Zurich, Geneva. or Basel 
to snatch you from your 
paradise and pull you 
back with iron. punctu- 
ality to your timetable. 

At least you have this 
consolation: thanks to 
Swissair there is hardly 
a spot in the world more 
than one day away from 
a couple of days' holiday in 
Switzerland. 


Eg 


Isnt that too good not 
to be true? 


Miss 
her 


lot, with 
d him, 


the restau 
Soames d 
arms around his w: 

The snow wasn't thick, but it was 
enough ro make him drive carefully. 
Miss Soames’ arms around him were 
surprisingly strong for a girl so slightly 
made; and while she had drunk enough 
wine to make her tongue loose, it 
hadn't affected her balance and she 
leaned easily with him as they swept 
around curves in the road. She sang 
from time to time, the songs that she 
heard all day in the record shop: but 
with the wind howling past, Rudolph 
could hear only little snatches, a few 
words here and there, a phrase of melo- 
dy in a faraway voice, like a child sing- 
ing fitfully to herself in a distant room. 

He enjoyed the ride. The whole day, 
in fact. He was glad his mother's talk 
about church had driven him out of 
the apartment. 

At the outskirts of Whitby, as they 
were passing the college, he slowed 
down to ask Miss Soames where she 
lived. It wasn't far from the college and 
he zoomed down the familiar streets. It 
was still fairly carly in the afternoon, 
but the clouds overhead were black and 
it was quite dark and there were lights 
to he seen in the windows of the houses 
they passed. He had to slow down at a 
stop sign and as he did so, he felt N 
Soames’ hand slide down from 


ni parking 
nging on bel 
ist. 


his 
waist, where she had been holding on, 


to his crotch. She stroked him there 
softly and he could hear her laughing 
in his car. 

"No dist 
"State law.” 

But she only laughed and kcpt on 
doing what she had been doing. 

They passed an elderly man walking 
a dog and Rudolph was sure the old 
man looked startled. He gunned the 
machine and it had some effect. Miss 
Soames held on, but she stopped her 

essing. 

He came to the address she had. giv- 
en him. It was an old one-family clap- 
board house set on a yellowed la 
"Ehere were no lights on in the house. 

Home," Miss Soames said. She 
jumped off the pillion, "That was a 
nice ride, Rudy. Especially the last two 
minutes.” She took off her goggles and 
cap and put her head to one side, 
letting her hair swing loose over her 
shoulders "Want to come inside?” she 
asked. "There's nobody home. My mother 
nd father are out visiting and my broth- 
er's at the movies, We can go on to the 
next chapter.” 

He hesitated, looked house, 
it was like inside. Poppa 
off on a visit but likely to 

Brother perhaps bored 
g rauling in 


rbing the driver" he said. 


return carly, 
with the movie and a 


“Why don't you try rubbing me once in a while?!” 


an hour earlier than expected. Miss 
Soames stood before him, one hand on 
her hip, smiling, swinging her goggles 
and ski cap in the other. 

“Well?” she asked. 

‘Some other time, perhaps,” he said. 
redycat" she said and giggled. 
Then she ran up the front walk toward 
the house. At the door, she turned. and. 
stuck out her tongue at him. The dark 
building engulfed he 

Thoughtfully, he started the motor- 

cycle and drove slowly toward the ci 
ter of the town along the darkening 
streets, He didn't want to go home, so 
he parked the machine and went to a 
movie. He hardly saw the movie and 
would not have been able to tell what 
it was about when he got out. 
He kept thinking about Miss Soames. 
lly, cheap lite girl, teasing, teasing, 
ng fun of him. He didn’t like the 
idea of sceing her in the store next 
morning. If it were possible, he would 
have had her fired. But she could go to 
the union and complain and he would 
have to explain the grounds on which 
he had had her fired. She called me Mr. 
Frigidaire, then she called me Rudy 
and, finally, she held my cock on a 
public thoroughfare. 

He gave up the idea of firing Miss 
Soames, One thing it all proved—he 
had been right all along in having 
nothing to do with anybody from the 
store. 

He had dinner alone in a restaurant 
and drank a whole bottle of wine by 
himself and nearly hit a lamppost on 
the way home 

He slept badly and he g 
quarter to seven Monday 


ned at a 
morning, 


when he knew he had to get up and 
run, But he got up and he ran. 


When he made his morning round of 
the store, he was careful to avoid going 
near the record shop. He waved to 
Larsen in the ski shop and Larsen, 
red-sweatered, said, "Good morning, 
Mr. Jordache,” as though they had not 
shared Sunda 

Calderwood called him into his office 
in the afternoon. “All right, Rudy,” he 
said, “I've been thinking about your 
id nd I've talked them over with 
some people down in New York. We're 
going down there tomorrow; we have a 
date at my lawyer's office on Wall Street 
at two Oclock They want to ask you 
some questions. We'll take the 11:05 train 
down. I'm not promising anything, but 
the first time around, my people scem to 
think you got something there.” C: 
derwood peered at him. “You don't 
seem particularly happy. Rudy,” he said 
accusingly. 

“Oh. I'm pleased, sir. Very pleased." 
He managed a smile, Two o'clock 
Tuesday, he was thinking: I promised 
Denton I'd go before the board two 
o'dock "Tuesday. “It’s very good news, 
sir" He smiled again, trying to seem 
boyish and naive. "I guess I just wasn't 
prepared for it—so soon, 1 mean.” 


“Weill have lunch on the train 
Calderwood said. dismissing him. 
Lunch on the train with the old 


man. That means no drink, Rudolph 
thought, as he went out of the olfice. He 
preferred to be gloomy about that than 
gloomy about Professor Denton 

Later in the afternoon, the phone 
rang in his office and Mis Giles 


207 


PLAYBOY 


answered. “TIL sce if he's in," she said. 
“Who's calling, please?” She put her 
hand over the mouthpiece and said, 
“Professor Denton.” 

Rudolph hesitated, then stretched out 
his hand for the phone. “Hello, Profes- 
sor." he said heartily. “How're things?’ 
“Jordache,” Denton said. his voice 
hoarse, “I'm at Ripley's. Can you come 
over for a few minutes? I've got to talk 
to you. 

Just as well now as later. "Of course, 
Professor,” he said. “II be right 
there." He got up from his desk. "If 
anybody wants me,” he said to Miss 
Giles, "say I'll be back in a half hour.” 

When he went into the bar, he had. 
to search to find Denton. Denton was 
in the last booth again, with his hat 
nd coat on, hunched over the table, 
his hands cupped around his glass. He 
needed a shave and his clothes were 
rumpled and his spectacles clouded and 
smeared. It occurred to Rudolph that 
he looked like an old wino, waiting 
blearily on a park bench in the winter 
weather for a cop to come and move 
him on. The self-confident, loud, ironic 
man of Rudolph's classrooms. amused 
and amusing. had vanished 

Hello, Professor" Rudolph slid into 
the booth opposite Denton. He hadn't 
bothered to put on a coat for the short 
walk from the store. “I'm glad to sce 
you." He smiled, as though to reassure 
Denton that Denton was the same man 
he had always known, to be grected 
the usual manner, 

Denton looked up dully. He didn't 

offer to shake hands. His face, ordinari- 
ly ruddy, was gray. Even his blood has 
surrendered, Rudolph thought. 
Have a drink" Denton's voice was 
thick. He had obviously already had a 
drink. Or five. “Miss,” he called loudly 
to the lady in the orange uniform, who 
was leaning, like an old mare in harness, 
inst the end of the bar. "Wharll you 
have?” he asked Rudolph. 

‘Scotch, please.” 

"Scotch and soda for my friend, 
miss" Denton said. "And another bour- 
bon for me.” 

After that, he sat silently for a while, 
staring down at the glass between his 
ids. On the way over from the store, 
Rudolph had decided what he had to 
do. He would have to tell Denton that 
it was impossible for him to appear 
before the board the next day but that 
he would offer to do so any other day, 
if the bozrd would postpone. Failing 
that, he would go to sce the president 
that night and say what he had to say. 
Or, if Denton disapproved of that, he 
would write out his defense of Denton 
that night for Denton to read before the 
board when they considered his case. 
He dreaded the moment when he would 
have to make these proposals to Denton, 


208 but there was no question of not going 


down to New York with Calderwood on 
the 11:05 tomorrow morning. He was 
grateful that Denton kept silent, even for 
a moment, and he made a big business of 
stirring his drink when it came, the noise 
a little musical barrier against conversa- 
tion for a few seconds. 

"I hate to drag you away from your 
work like this, Jordache,” Denton said, 
not lifting his eyes and mumbling now. 
Trouble makes a man egotistic. I pass 
a movie theater and I sce people lined 
up to go in, to laugh at a comedy, and 
I say, Don't they know what's happen- 
ing to me. how can they go to the 
movies?” He laughed sourly. “Absurd, 
he said. "Fifty million people were being 
illed in Europe alone between 1939 and 
1945 and I went to the movies twice a 
week.” He took a thirsty gulp of 
drink, bending low over the table and 
holding the glass with his two hands, The 
glass rattled as he put it down. 

“Tel me whats happening" Ru- 
dolph said soothingly. 

“Noth Denton said. “Well, that's 
not true, either. A lot. It's over.” 

“What are you talking about?" Ru- 
dolph spoke calmly. but it was difficult. 
to keep the excitement out of his voice. 
So it was nothing, he thought. A storm 
a teacup. People finally couldn't be 
that idiotic. “You mean they've dropped 
the whole thing?” 

“I mean Tve dropped the whole 
thing,” Denton said flatly, lifting his 
head and looking out from under the 
brim of his battered brown-felt hat at 
Rudolph. “I resigned today. 

“Oh, no,” Rudolph said. 

“Oh, yes,” Denton said. “After twelve 
years. They offered to accept my resigna- 
tion and drop the proceedings. T could 
face tomorrow. After twelve years. I'm 
too old, too old. Maybe if I were younger. 
When you're younger, you can face the 
e seems obtainable. My 
ng for a week. She says 
the disgrace would kill her. A figure of 
speech, of course, but a woman wee} 
ys and seven nights erodes the 
will. So it's done. I just wanted to thank 
you and tell you you don't have to be 
there tomorrow at two P.M.’ 

Rudolph swallowed. Carefully, he tried 
to keep the relief out of his voice. “I 
would have been happy to speak up,” he 
said. He would not have been happy, 
but, one way or another, he had been 
prepared to do it, and a more exact de- 
scription of his feelings would do no good 
at the moment. “What are you going to 
do now?" hc asked, 

"I have been thrown a life 
Denton said dully. "A friend of m 


is on the faculty of the International 
School at Geneva. I've been offered a 
place. Less money, but a place. They 


are not as maniacal, it seems, in Geneva. 
"They tell me the city is pretty." 
“But it’s just a high school" Ru- 


dolph sai 
all your life." 

“It's in Geneva," Denton said. “I 
want to get out of this goddamn 
country. 

Rudolph had never heard anybody 
say “this goddamn country" about Amer- 
ica and he was shocked at Denton's 
bitterness. As a boy in school he had 
sung "God shed His grace on thec” 
about his native land, along with the 
40 other boys and girls in the class- 
room; and now, he realized that what 
he had sung as a child, he still believed 
as a grown man. "It's not as bad as you 
th he said. 

“Worse,” Denton said. 

“Tr'll blow over. You'll be asked back 

"Never" Denton said. "I wouldn't 
come back if they begged me on their 
knees.’ 

The Man Without a Country, Ru- 
dolph remembered from grade school, 
the poor exile being transferred from 
ship to ship, never to see the shores of 
the land where he was born, never to 
see the flag without tears. Geneva, that 
flagless vessel. He looked at Denton, 
exiled already in the back booth of 
Ripley’s bar, and felt a confused mix 
ture of emotions, pity, contempt. "ls 
there anything I can do?” he asked. 
“Money?” 

Denton shook his head. “We're all 
right. For the time being. We're selling 
the house. Realestate values have gone 
up since I bought it. The country is 
booming.” He laughed dryly. He stood 
up abrupid have to go home now,” 
he said. giving my wife French 
lessons every afternoon. 

He allowed Rudolph to pay for the 
drinks. Outside on the street, he put 
his collar up, looking more than ever 
like an old wino, and shook Rudolph's 
hand slackly. “I'll write you from Gene- 
va," he said. “Noncommittal letters. God 
knows who opens mail these da 

He shuffled off, a bent, scholarly 
figure among the citizens of his god- 
damn country. Rudolph watched him 
for a moment, then walked back to 
the store. He breathed deeply, feeling 
young, lucky. lucky. He was in the line, 
g to laugh, while the sufferers 
shuffled past. Fifty million died, but the 
movies were always open. He felt sor 
for Denton, but overriding that, he felt 
joyous for himself. Everything from 
how on was going to be all right, 
everything was going to go his way. 
The sign had been made clear that after- 
noon, the omens were plain. 

He was on the 11:05 the next morn- 
ing with Calderwood, composed and 
optimistic. When they went into the 
dining car for lunch, he didn't mind 
not being able to order a drink. 


‘ou've taught in colleges 


wa 


LINCOLNS DOCTORS SONS DOG (continued from page 156) 


for Buddy to have done this thing, 

Judge Lockwood yawned and then said 
he was sorry but that the evidence indi- 
cated to him that the dog was guilty and 
should be destroyed. “Bailiff,” the judge 
ordered, “take this dog away and put him 
to death! 
At that moment, Buddy leaped in the 
direction of the judge's bench with an an- 
gry growl, pulling his rope out of Sam's 
hand. As the dog mounted the steps 
leading up from the courtroom floor, 
Judge Lockwood rose in fear, his gavel 
in hand to protect himself 

But Buddy darted past the judge’s seat 
and began to wrestle with something on 
the floor. No one but the judge could see 
what it was. 

‘Good Lord!" the judge exclaimed, 
“It’s a copperhead!” 

What had happened was that Buddy 
had sensed that a deadly copperhead had 
slithered in (rom an adjoining room and 
was making for the judge, and Buddy 
had rushed to attack the snake to protect 
him. In a [ew moments Buddy had 
killed the copperhead and the snake had 
been taken away. 

Buddy returned atonce to Sam, who pet- 
ted him and ‘ood dog, good dog!” 

Tears were forming in the judges 
eyes. "Well, I'll be . . ." he said. “That 
dog saved my life! Here Td sentenced 
him to death and he saved my life.” 

3 t a good dog he 


of the ki 
the judge snapped. 
proves is that this damn dog will bite 
anything that moves! If an innocent lit- 
tle baby boy had crawled up behind me, 
he would have tried to kill him, too!” 

“That's not true!” Sam shouted. 

“Oh, shut up and sit down!" the 
judge barked. "My order süll stands! 
Dailiff—take the dog!" 

As the iff moved toward him, Sam 
rose. "Please, your Honor—I believe in 
American justice, and if you say Buddy 
has to die, you must be right, because 
you're a judge. But wouldn't you let me 
take Gare of Buddy myself? Please?” 

“How do you propose to destroy 
him?" the judge asked. 

“Well, I'll take him out into the north 
woods near the old forked cottonwood 
on top of the hill,” Sam answered. “And 
T'I dig a little grave, and then I'll shoot 
Buddy through the head with my fa- 
ther's Service pistol from the Mexican 
War—which was a just war, no matter 
what anyone says—and then I'll bury 
him; 


low do 1 know you'll actually do 
the judge snarled. 

Because I give you my word of honor 
at E will, and I'm Abraham Lincoln's 
family doctor's son, and when I say I'll 
do a thing. I'll do it! 


“When wil you do iu" the judge 
demanded, 

“This very afternoon, sir," Sam an- 
swered. 

Alter a moment of glowering thought, 
the judge said. "Very well. But if you 
don't do it, I will hold you in contempt 
of this court and you could go to prison 
for thirty years.” 

And so it er that after- 
noon, Sam rably into the 
woods north of Springficld and up the 
hill on which was the old forked coiton- 
wood. Sam carried his father's loaded 
pistol in a sack and had a shovel over his 
shoulder. Buddy danced around him at 
the end of his rope, for Buddy loved to 
go for walks in the woods, 

Sam ticd Buddy to the tree and then 
dug a small grave. Watching, Buddy 
wagged his tail eagerly, for he was stupid 
enough to think that Sam was digging 
up a bone for him. 

‘The grave finished, Sam got out the 
pistol and then called Buddy to him, 


à 
3 


and the dog came, waggling and wrig- 
Bling with happiness. He licked Sam's 
hand—the same one that held the pistol. 

Tears came once again to Sam's eyes 
and he felt he couldn't go through with 
it. But he had no intention of going to 
prison for 30 years, and so he cocked the 
tigger and took careful aim, directly 
between Buddy's soft and appealing eyes. 

"Don't shoot that dog!" came a ay 
from the distance. 

Sam turned to see Judge Lockwood 
running toward him, and just bchind 
the judge was Dr. Morton, Sam's dentist. 
He was also Abraham Lincoln's family 
dentist. 

"There might have been a miscarriage 
of justice!” the judge shouted. 

“That dog might be innocent," said Dr. 
Morton, as he ran up. "Let me scc his 
teeth!” He reached down and opened 
Buddy's mouth and looked into it. "I was 
right!” Dr. Morton announced. 

"I don't understand!” Sam said. 

Judge Lockwood explained: “Dr. 
Morton, here, happened to examine the 


Z2 


ZN 


CD 


4 


“Hey there, kid, I'm a major-league baseball 


scout. I've been watching you and. . . .’ 


203 


PLAYBOY 


210 


Robbins boy's leg. and he didn't think 
that a dog of Buddy's size could have 
made those wounds at all.” 

“If it was a dog,” Dr. Morton said 
carefully, “it would have to have been a 
very small one. Buddy's canines are too 


Sam said, overjoyed, “I just 
knew for certain that Buddy hadn't 
done it." 

The reason that Sam knew this for 

n was that i 
who had been chewing the Robbins boy 
in the calf when Buddy had come along 
d tried to protect the child by biting 
Sam in his calf. It had. been Sam's blood 
in Buddy's mouth. This was why Sam 
had been limping. 

As it happened, Dr. Morton knew the 
truth, for he was quite familiar with 
Sam's occlusion and. had. recognized. the 
tooth marks as being Sam's 

Howevei Morton was a wise and 
kindly man, and he was also a student of 
the occult and he knew ient. 
werewolf when he saw onc. But, also, Dr. 
Morton knew the cur 

When Dr. Has returned from 
Washington, Dr. Morton went to him 
and said that it was vital that Sam have 
lots of red meat in his diet. “Otherwi 
said the dentist, “all his teeth are going 
to fall out. Also, he may well go blind.” 

“Is that a true medical fact?” asked 
Dr. F 


an 


sure you that it is" Dr. Morton 
n addition, his fingers and toes 
might [all off." 

‘Good heavens" Dr. H 
claimed. Not only was he a 
cated doctor but he was also one of the 
most gullible men in Springfield. "Well, 
even though it's against my principles, 
Sam will have meat from now on.” 

From that day forward, Sam was given 
all the red meat he could eat—which 
was considerable. Dr. Morton was pleased 
to see that all of Sam's werewolf tenden- 
cies rapidly disappeared. 

Buddy lived to a lovable old age. 

As Sam grew up, his father pressed 
him to become a doctor or a lawyer, but 
Sam had other ideas, In later years, he 
was to become the most respected, suc- 
cessful, well 
tail butcher in 


1l Springfield. 


To me, this seems a perfectly straight- 
forward and simple story, with touching 
human values and a happy, upbeat end- 
ing. In all modesty. I feel that the addi- 
tion of young Tom Edison was a brilliant 
touch, verging on the profound. 

I really don't know what kept Mark 
‘Twain from writing this story. But then, 
one of his great failings was that he 
wrote only what he wanted to write, 
rather than what people wanted to read. 

This is, of course, why Mark Twain is 
not remembered as a writer today. 


"I must admit, in your own sick 
way, you are considerate.” 


A Million Elephants 


(continued from page 126) 
their job to scrape up whatever is left in 
the ashes and burned bushes and hot 
metal. Through eye signals alone, the air 
controller is sent down as investigating 
officer; while on the hill, a luncheon of 
wred-up K rations is served under a 
speckled camouflage net. 

The Senator, bland as always, nods 
and listens to what id. He sems to 
like everyone and to have been impressed. 
It is Grider's condusion that the snow 
job (that is what it has been; thar is 
what it had to be) has worked and that 
when it came to a vote (if it came to a 


ndeed, there was comfort in that, 
too), the Senator would be with them. 
The afternoon is spent inspecting the 


mock village. Pits, tunnels, ‘Realy traps, 
Chinese weapons, hoard 

And in the early Virginia evening, in 
an air-conditioned officers’ club by the 
river, it is agreed by the offica 
cerned that they have just seen wi 
next wars will be like (they say this with 
sad shakes of the head) and they might 
as well, by God, be ready for them. For 
the first time that day, the Senator com- 
mits himself. if he is a bit pickled, that 
still does not affect his judgment. 

“T agree," he says. 


Nadolsky was basting in his own 
sweat. Andreas was a fool to call him at 
his office in the consulate. The lines were 
tapped by everyone and Marya Pleiset- 
skya, his secretary, had only recently 
been assigned from Moscow. New 
als from Moscow were eager, sincere 
and more than likely had spent a term at 
was laconically called the Hydro- 
electric Institute, a place known by all to 
be the K.G.B. training center (“Where,” 
Andreas had once joked, “they learn to 
attach electrics to your hydros"). 
Nadolsky hurried down the alley and 
turned into the garden at the rear of the 
Constellation Hotel. It was early after- 
noon and the heat made him pant. He 
stood in the striped shade of the areca 
palms and wiped his face with his large 
red handkerchief. Where was Andreas? 
AII this secrecy, really. 
“Pssst,” Nadolsky h 
and looked for snakes. “Pssst,” again 
brought him near panic. Then he saw 
Andreas crouching behind a lavender 
bush. Nadolsky wanted to shout and 
scold, but Andreas was grinning like a 
1 he motioned for the Rus- 
him in the hide-and-seek. 


He jumped 


nder Nadolsky, Alexander Na- 
Andreas repeated with fervor. 
“That is the name I travel by," Nadol- 
sky answered. “Now, what is it you want 
10 tell me? It had better be good." He 
could not squat any longer on his fat 


haunches, so he fell back on his buttocks 
with a loud grunt. 

“It is good. It is fantastic! You will 
not believe it. 

“Andreas Papadopoulos, get to the 
point. If it’s money you want— 

"No money! This is beyond money!" 

Nadolsky laughed, “What is beyond 
money for you? My heart pounds! You 
arc the only man I know who would 
charge admission for us to sce the end of 
the world. And yet you say this is beyond. 
money?” 

Andreas went tsktsk in disappoint- 
ment. “I am about to propose a joint 
venture.” 

“Ahh,” spat 
tried to rise. 

“It concerns a beautiful woman who is 
now bedded in my hotel,” 

Nadolsky brushed his palms. “No good. 
Too many spies and people of poor 
consequence.” 

"I think I know a way to introduce 
you to her." 

"Never!" cried Nadolsky, full of in- 
terest. 

"In case you doubt my taste, may I say 
that this girl reminds me of Wampoom. 
But she is to Wampoom as the sun is to 
one of your satellites, She makes Wam- 
poom lock like a Sputnik with a head 
full of wires. 

Andreas stopped talking. The two 
men sat motionless in the shade, a silent 
struggle of wills with the outcome never 
in doubt. 

"You were saying?" Nadolsky finally 
surrendered. 

Andreas leaned closer and whispered. 
"She arrived this morning. She claims she 
is ill. At least that is how I interpret her. 
L siid I would bring a doctor." He paused 
in, "Surely you read my thoughts.” 
They are filthy thoughts. 

Andreas grinned. 
like them. 

“I cannot pose as a doctor. Surely the 
girl would know we were 
Andreas rubbed his hands like à miser. 
Sometimes you underestimate your poor 
compatriot. I am giving you access to the 
perfect woman and when you see what I 
mean, you will trade one hour with her 
ad, such 


ust. as h 


Nadolsky in di 


for another siege of Let 
her power. 
She will scream. She will betray us.” 
That is, shall we say, the icing on the 
cake. For she cannot scream, she cannot 
talk.” 

“T do not understand.” 

“She is deaf and dumb,” said Andreas. 

Nadolsky jumped to his fect. “You are 
right! The perfect woman!” 

With a rolling of drums in both their 
Is, they stepped, sprightlul and live- 
to the hotel, climbed the stairs, 
d at the door to check dress and 


pau 
image. Andreas knocked, nothing was 


heard; knock ag 
the two rogues. 


g again. Enter 


“Oh, I agree with you, a girl should try everything 
once—but I've already tried everything once!” 


he wooden shutters were closed. 
ks of light seeped through and 
ced off the ceiling, In the dim light 
of the chamber, Nadolsky could see an 
ancient four-poster decorated with dirty 
white damask trimming. There, in the 
center of the huge mattress, lay the span- 
gled girl She seemed phosphorescent, 
like salt water at night. Her dark 
was spread in a wide corona around her 
head. Nadolsky noticed nothing else, nei 
ther the cracks in the plaster nor the two 
lizards that crawled around the broken 
fan nor the dead and dangling light 
bulb, 


lam Dawn," Andreas said nerv. 
ously, as he touched her arm, “I have 
brought to you Dr. Alexander" Her 
eyes were shut tight. "For what 
you?” Her head turned slowly toward 
them and the eyelids flickered in recogni 
tion. Andreas took her hand and placed 
it firmly in Nadolsky's. "First the pulse?" 

“Yes,” said Nadolsky deeply ys 
frst the pulse, because the beat of the 
heart is like the signal of a drum.” His 
fingers pinched and slipped about her 
wrist as he searched for the proper place. 
“Hmm, the pulse is rapid but sophisti- 
cated,” Nadolsky stumbled in his excite- 
ment. 

“Ab, yes. sophisticated," said Andreas 
as he wiped her upper lip with h 
forefinger. He felt her cars with his two. 
hands rubbing them between thumb 


and fingers, as if he was fecl 
oil. "She has only a little fever." 

Nadolsky straightened up. "I am the 
doctor and will decide if she has fever or 
not. I do not expect a hotel owner to tell 
me these things. 

Andreas shrugged. This was the time 
not to argue but to prepare. 

"I am sure you will be fine, my dear, 
but ] must make some tests, you under 
stand?” Nadolsky patted Dawn's hand. 
"Some tests. Your symptoms are mild 
and I suspect nothing serious" As he 
talked, he tried to explain himself. 
sign language. He stroked his stomach 
and rolled his eyes, but it not seem 
to communicate to her. 

The two of them, r perfect con- 
cert, pulled her to a sitting position and 
unwrapped the shawl from her shoul 
ders. She tried to twist away. Nadolsky 
threw the rainbow cloth across the room 
nd grabbed her by the back of the neck. 
‘Ah, ah, my pretty, this is for your own 
good. I must make an exam." 

Now only the material of the sari to 
shed. In the halflight, her shoulders 
looked more full. her breasts more hij 
Andreas tugged at the front of the sari 
nd peeked toward her belly. She pushed 
herself flat against the bed. The struggle 
became more open and violent. Both 
men issued instructions. They could only 
control t of her, never her middle, 
but this in itself was fru 


ating to them, 21] 


PLAYBOY 


212 


as she humped and pumped her hips 


wildly 
“She is a fighting fish,” said Andreas 
"Sit on her knees" Nadolsky heard 


himself yell at the top of his voice. Why 
was he so loud? Then he heard the 
helicopters overhead, a sound quite com- 
mon in Chanda these days. They pound- 
ed the air above the hotel as they flew 
low into the airport. 

What?" Andreas asked, but his ears 
could contain only the thump of the sky 
wash above him. 

For a few seconds, all were deaf-mutes. 
And after the sound cleared the air, it 
still had not cleared the two men's heads 
and they kept shouting. 

When in the door broke Harry Men- 
man. He had been sauntering over to 
check his cargo, hoping to get a little, 
now that sh as settled the bed, 
when he heard the aggressions, and up 
the stairs he roared, ready for bear. With 
wooden splinters in his shoulders, he 
ed at the two startled lechers. Slow 
they released Dawn. She rolled onto her 


side with tears in her cyes and watched 
Mennan as he bowlegged deliberately 
across the tiles. 

"Drop your meat and b. 
motherfuckers,” he growled. 

Andreas flutiered like a crow. “Madam 
Dawn is ill, Harry Menn; and she 
should not be disturbed.” 

"She couldn't be sicker than she is 
with you two hog-tying her, Andreas. 

Nadolsky did not seem scared, “Your 
interest in her comfort and safety is 
touching. How protective you Ameri 
can be when you want something your. 


t retreat, you 


dirty samovar, 


"If you would like a duel, we shall 
have a duel, But do not play Western 
movie star with me.” 

Mennan took a poke at the Russian’s 
jaw, but Nadolsky was no chump and he 
countered with a hard punch to the gut. 
Andreas jumped on Mennan’s back and 
the war was on. They rolled across the 
floor. Chairs busted and tables fell. M. 


"It's a very nice show, bul when are they going to get 
around to the annual report to the stockholders?" 


nan was all knees and elbows; he fought 
like a cowpuncher. Nadolsky was more 
scientific and waited for the right mo 
ments to hit. Andreas was just plain 
dire 

On the bed, the girl lay confused and 
frightened. She held the mosquito net- 
ting against her chest. The dust rose 
from the floor and she watched the 
motes in the light. She could not hear 
the grunts and thuds. 

As she faced the broken door and 
waited for her fate. a new light fell on 
her back. She turned and saw the shut- 
ters swing open. There on the ledge, a 
ne like a rope in his hands, perched 
Charley Dog. He beckoned to her. She 
smiled and sat up. Gesture again; come 
h me. She wiped her eyes; why not? 
Slowly, unsteadily, she got to her feet 
and tiptoed to the sill. Charley Dog 
laughed to see her so cautious in the 
midst of battle. The rickety sink the 
corner had just broken and was spilling 
gray porcelain over the three warriors 
Still they fought. 

Dawn waited to be shown what to do. 
Charley Dog reached around her waist. 
She hugged his neck and jumped lightly 
onto his thighs. He rose and stood full 
height in the window as she dung to 
him. He grasped the vine in both hands 
and pushed off into the air, slid the 
length and hit the deck. 

"I don't know you. baby." he said into 
her eyes. "but I heard all them creeps 
talk about you and T figure we might as 
well let them talk some more" Hc 
laughed and picked her up again. "Come 
on, sweet chicken, there are better things 
to do in Chanda than fight.’ 

She laughed soundlessly and they took 
off, running, through the garden, out 
onto the street that led toward the river, 
Charley Dog in his faded Levis and open 

t and ropesoled sandals, Dawn fol- 
ing. towed along on his arm like a 
bright falcon. 


Spring i Washington, D.C. Early 
spring, that is, before the humidity hits 
d the cherry blossoms fall, Walter 
Glover has opened the windows of his 
apartment. The sounds of late traffic in 
Rock Creek Park come up to him. This 
report he is writing dominates his mind, 
even now. Margaret, a young chick from 
the department, is not paying much at- 
tention to his chatter. 

“Ies crazy the way things stay in my 
head," he says, embarrassed and almost 
laughing. "Like, at one time, seventy- 
eight percent of the Americans in Chan- 
da were from Princeton. Seventy-eight 
percent?" 

Neither one of them says anything for 
a while until, astride of him, she jokes, 
apropos of nothing in particular, “They 
don't teach you to pick locks at Prince. 
ton 

Silence agai 


- Then he moans in new 


fatigue. “I've got to have that report 
ready by six this morning. I hate the 
carly watch.” 

o 


e says. She is Bryn M 


blonde and lean, bred like a race ho: 
and she comb 


ts the male world she 
ing a tough lingo. 
Glover whines. trying to 
get up, "cut that out" Tenierlike, she 
shakes the limp noodle in her mouth. He 
lies back again and recite: litany by 
in an attempt to gain strength. 

‘Chanda is the gateway to the rice 
bowl of Southeast Asia,’ Everybody says 
that. I'm supposed to say it. I even 
thonght of writing that Chanda was the 
gateway to the gateway of Southeast 
Asia. T mean, you'd have a pretty hard 
time getting people up in arms about a 
gateway to a gateway. Jesus, I wish there 
was somebody outside to talk to about i 
1 tried to leak a little to Edelman, but 
he won't write it up. Edelman had some 
reason for taking us out tonight. It 
wasn't just to spend his editor's moncy, 
was i. No, sir. He wants to go on our 
wip over there with General Grider. 
Inspection tour number one hundred 
and eight. When in doubt. inspect. Fve 
got to get shots for that, too. Boy, I hate 
shots more than anything. Always have, I 
should have gone to law school and I 
wouldn't have to do all this dirty work. 
I'm just not cut out for it.” 

"Walter," Margaret scolds and raises 
her head. 

"What, what 

She sighs. 
Jabber, 


hie asks fast. 
at, what nothing what. 
ibber, Walter. Do you 


ny Campo woke up with a porce- 


lain pillow under his neck. He thought 
ybe he was dead in a morgue. Come 


nsclf. 


back. world. he said to Ho, 
world, here, world, nice world, come on 
ack, His eyes faded into focus. Ship- 
board? On a Chinese junk? What the 
fuck, hey, around him several slopeheads 
lying in their bunks and sleeping or 
staring. Campo found himself on the 
bottom tier. His ass rested on plywood. 
His mouth tasted e crushed violets. 

A classy gook girl rolled pallets in her 
fingers. Campo raised h 
bow and looked at her, She was speaking 
to her counterpart, an old man of yellow 
skin and wispy beard, who sucked on his 
pipe as if it was sugar cane. 

"The girl took a pellet and held it over 
the flame on the end of a needle. In his 
fog, Campo thought perh 
roasting marshmallows. He signaled that 
he wanted one. She ignored him. 

Campo lay in die bunk. Who was 
above him? Who was around him? His 
sins came back to him. | am a wild 
Indian, he said to himself. They will 
ship me out of here with my ass in a 
sling and my head tucked under my arm 
1 am over the hill in every possible way. 


nself on his el- 


He plucked at his crazy-quilt memory. 
Fragments came back 10 him; Sang Woo 
and his silk suits, drinks of smoky Scotch, 
rice wine—when? When? Campo rubbed 
his knuckles in his eyes. 

A light tap, tap sounded in his ear. 
The girl clicked the needle against the 
bamboo pipe to attract his attention. She 
neither smiled nor looked at him. He was 
holding up the works, he realized, so he 
took the pipe and puffed on it. 

My head has been cutting out on me 
these past few years, Campo thought; I've 
got to watch that. He held the smoke in 
his lungs. It burned. But all around him, 
suddenly, there was the smell of earth, 
and he liked that. His pipe dreams were 
peaceful and (he thought this even while 
in reverie) licentio 

The pipe drew harder. A mild ache 
hit Campo somewhere behind his eyes. 
He wied to sleep. 

After a time, he felt the girl shake his 
shoulder. He came to consciousness alert 
and ready. She pointed to the door. 
There, at the top of the stairs. pecked a 
pale face. Campo categorized it instant- 
ly. Shit, oh, dear, he thought, lieutenants 
arc my special plagi 

"Sergeant Campo" the voice asked, 
pseudo tough and righteous. 

“Yes, sir," Campo answered in resig 
tion, and his mind added, Do wild bears 
shit in the woods? 

“I'm Lieutenant Goodfellow. The colo- 
nel would like to sce you. We've been 
looking all over for you, too. 

Campo pulled in his belly as tight as 
he could and walked through the dusty 
halls. The lieutenant followed. Just as 
they climbed into the open jeep, Campo 
saw a black boy run past. goateed and 
frizzled, laughing and shouting to the 
shining girl he dragged along. Goodfel- 
low spun the wheels in the red dust 
lurched off, Wait ute, wait a 


ute, Campo wanted to say, that’s one of 
the finest ojo-sans I ever eyeballed. But 
he supposed the liewtenant would not 
understand, so he kept his mouth shut 
and sat back in the scat with bis arms 
folded over his stomach, 

His time had come. Time for the 
brig, he guessed. At my age, he thought, 
I won't get to that line halfway fast 
enough for those guards: the brig and 
me, we'll see too much of each other to 
fool each other. 


arm's length. Then he took out hi 
rete lighter (battered Zippo case. one of 
many in history that had taken shrapnel 
and saved a 
) and H 
paper. Held at right angles to the breeze 
fiom the air conditioner, it burned 
and bright. Kelly singed the tips of his 
fingers before he diopped the flaming 
ashes into the ashtray. There, that did it. 
the small and impotent but nonetheless 
satisfying finger to those behind the mes 
sage. First and last to General Grider. 
burr under the saddle of 
career. They had started 
the same date of rank, the same 
ing. the same MOS; and yet 
1 done things right. had made 
|, and here was Kelly, out in the 

and unlikely to ever be privi 
1 enough to bask in a comfortable 
billet by the Potomac. 

Inspection tours; bah, humbug. 

General Grider's visit signaled upbeat. 
Kelly knew that; he was no constant 
fool. And to get true upbeat, the situa- 
tion would have to be analyzed as deteri- 
ing. And the easiest way to do that 


who had bec 
Colonel Kelly 
with 


vas to label as incompetent the job donc 


ar, So the chips were down. Grider's 
team was coming, with its civilian advisor 


“Can you direct me to Salt Lake City?” 


213 


PLAYBOY 


and agricultural expert and topographical 
specialist and photointerpretation officer. 
‘They would find what they had decided 
to find, They would talk to mirrors. It 
would be a time of surfaces. 

It would be a holding action for Kelly. 
He would not receive praise; that he 
knew. But the point was to keep himself 
covered and to convince them that he 
had done all he could, given the paltry 
means at his command. 

The colonel sat back and thought 
about that. What he needed was a big 
gesture that proved he knew the country 
and the people. 

Coakley dropped in. His face was awe- 
stuck and pale, as if he had just felt 
twinges of a coronary. "They're coming,” 
was all he could say. 

“Uh-huh,” Kelly sighed. “Grider and 
company." 

“I don't have any records. They'll 
want to see my files, but I don't really 
have an 
Your problem," Kelly murmured. 
‘They're bringing that little 


shit 


"Walter Glover. I was in a foreign- 
service school with him once." 

“Oh,” said Kelly, not caring 

Coakley became more foppish in his 
anger. "You know, I always assumed that 
if they were mean enough to send us out 
here, the least they could do would be to 
leave us alone. Don't you think? You 
take the British: 


the Br 


flapping around the way we have to. It 


makes me so mad I could spi 
Colonel Kelly was only I 


check list. He kicked 
toward Coakley's feet 
"] was using a figure of speech. You 
don't listen, either. No one listens out 
here.” 
“That's for sure. 
Yes, that is for sure." Coakley whim- 
pered with a slight whine in his throat. 
“You could tell them the woods were 
burning and they wouldn't listen to you 
unless it fit their theories.” 
‘The woods will be burning soon,” 
said Kelly in a voice of doom 
kley sat silent and waited for an 
ark. The trouble 
with me is Im always playing the report- 
er, he thought to himself; I don't bitch 
enough; I listen too much 
Yes, sir," Kelly went on, because the 
silence invited him to, “the woods will 
be fucking burning. 
‘I hate that word,” said Coakley. 
] suppose you call them jungles, huh? 
Well, they are woods to me.” 
“| meant fucking. I hate the word 
fucking. 
Colonel Kelly said in his head, Of 


214 course you do, you little queer. But he 


only smiled on the surface, “Sorry "bout 
that.” 

“Why can't they just leave us alone?” 

“Don't know." Kelly shook his head. 
“1 guess they get scared if something is 
left alone too long. 

"Do you know I've been sort of chief 
of mission for three years now? Except 
for visiting firemen, of cours 
ic here this year for me. 
g to change now. 
Grider, he come. Heap big build-up, 


1 don't have any files. Do you have 
any files?” Coakley seemed desperate. 
"That's my business," gloated Kelly. 
“Well,” said Coakley in retaliation, "at 
least I haven't lost some of my people. 
Kelly cringed, He had almost forgot- 
ten that for a moment. 
ley kept the pressure on. “T hate 
what General Grider will say 
mms that one of your very 
own new and shining master sergeants 
has gone away. T mean, I may not have 
files, but you don't even haye people! 


kley stood to his height and puffed 
his chest. Kelly held his head in his 


r- Frozen time, one in 


hands in desp: 
triumph. 

When in came Lieutenant Goodfellow. 
“Ive got him," he said in his lowest 
man-of-destiny voice. 

Kelly jumped to his feet and yelped. 
“Where, where? 
Goodfellow said, as he pulled 
the shamefaced Campo past the door. 

"You better get some files, Coakley,” 
yelled the colonel, “because I've got all 
my people now! 


“Hey, Buon Kong.” Charley Dog said 


as he smoked, “tell us about them phi. 
Charley Dog dragged the word out to a 


whistle—pheeeeee. “Because if this place 
is as spooked as you make it sound, I 
may haye to leave.” 

Dawn made another pipe for Buon 
Kong as he spoke. 

"The phi are like ghosts. They are the 
living dead. They are in the trecs and 
rocks and mountains. They are in ani- 
mals and humans. No one who is harmo- 
nious should fe: 

“Uh-huh,” said Charley Dog after a 
while, after it all sank in through the 
calm and happy fog. “Ub-huh, That's 
better.” He placed his hands along 
Dawn's jaw line. "I am sure glad to hear 
that, because I'd hate to leave this little 
girl just when I was getting to know 
her." 

You must not be conce 
Kong said to Charley Dog, “ 
regard you as the elephant 
mboo tuft, 
“Uh-huh,” said Charley Dog again, but 
then he rolled onto his side and looked 
at the old man. “Wait a minute. The 
elephant steps on the bamboo tuft.” 


ied,” Buon 
nce the phi 
regards the 


Yes, and there are phi in your soul 
right now.” 

“That's not so good," Charley Dog 
moaned. 

"Ehe bamboo tuft springs up again. It 
grows and lives and lets the elephant 
live. So it is with the phi. They torment 
only those beings and objects that threat- 
en life.” 

“Hey, Buon Kong.” said Charley Dog. 
that’s beautiful. I mean, I don't really 
believe all of that, but it’s beautiful, 
anywa 


“Sometime,” said Buon Kong, “you 


may be fortunate enough to pate 
in our phoo, our gentle time, when the 
phi come together and demand harmony 
of everyone.” 


Charley Dog said with some 
interest, “that would be a super love-in, 
that poo would.” Feelings. vague but 


n her bunk, 
sound asleep, now that the pipes had 
been made. It had been a tough run to 
the river and a long hard day for her. 
Yes, it had. But there they were now, 
safe as cubs in this den, and Charley Dog 
decided that sleep was the next best 
thing for him, too. 

Colonel Kelly tipped the cold ash of 
his dead cigar into the palm of his hand. 
He pushed it around silently. 

It looks like a rat turd, thought Cam- 
po irrelevantly. He was accustomed to 
thinking stupid things in times of pres 
sure; he did this on purpose. It cooled 
his mind. 

lhe colonel was not talking about 
much, either. He was letting the silence 
grow on Goodfellow. In time, the licu- 
tenant. would leave, would get the picture. 
that Kelly wanted this fish to himself. 

Finally, Goodfellow bowed out. He 
did not want to stay any longer in that 
dead space. 

That left Campo standing in his 
bright shirt and slacks, his beer belly 
pulled in as far as it would go, his 
posture at neither attention nor parade 
rest but somewhere between those for- 
malities. The two old pros screwed up 
their energies and wits, Each saw his job 
as deli 

Kelly set a tentative tonc. "Sit down," 
he said. 

Campo sat without a word. Another 
pause. 

"Looks like you've got a problem," 
Kelly said. 

Campo shrugged; it was a lead, any- 
way, Campo figured. Any man who tells 
you that you have a problem, well, that 
guy is trying to cover up his problems. 

“Yes, sin" said Kelly (and Campo 
thought, Aha, a man who wants to be 
iked!), “a U/A on your page twelve 
would be a sad mark at the end of a 
long and worthy career.” 

Campo thought he had it now; it 


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seemed that there was a bargain that 
might be made. 

Another pause. Kelly sighed. “I'm 
waiting to hear from you, Top.” 
npo sighed, ioo. He tried to make 
it sound like a compromise between re- 
pentance and boredom. “I don't know 
what to say, Colonel" Campo waited on 
that, but Kelly stared him down. "I 
don't even know why they sent me to 
Chanda, Colonel.” This last came out as 
a bit of a whine and Campo held his 
tongue 

"Well get to tha 
complete my report 

Campos stomach expanded again in 
relief. There was no report to complete, 
really. Either Kelly had listed him as 
absent in the unit diary or he had not. 
Give me two minutes in your files and 
Id know how to play this, Campo 
thought. 

“Wall, sir,” Campo began, and with 
some dignity, he explained most of what 
had happened. Kelly listened tolerantly. 
It was no confession, this monolog, just 
the high points, just enough that was 
personal so that Kelly would know Cam- 
po was placing himself at the colonel's 


. But first I have to 


mercy. 
When the story 
made his move. “OK, "Top. 


slowly, "you don't know why you're here, 
right? Well, let me tell you somethi 
You're here because I asked for you 

Thanks a load, Campo thought, but 
he tried to keep a straight face. 

"It just so happens that you are a very 
particular Marine. Do you know why? 
‘Try to guess. Try to think of something 
in your background that is unique and 
individual.” 

Campo's fine sense of crudities rose up 
in him and he wanted to say, You've 
been talking with my wife. But this was 
a square and serious time, he guesed—it 
was getting more difficult for him to 
he grew olda—so he did 
dow't know," he said. "I got. 
here.” 

The colonel smiled like a teacher. 
“This doesn't have anything to do with 
that. Think back, way back." Campo 
pretended to. "Any clue: npo shook 
his head. Kelly preened himsell. He loved 
power, and he took it any way he could 
get it. “Back to your boyhood days, eh, 
Top? What did you do the 

“Not much I can talk about, 
tried to joke, but 
on the colonel. 

"The circus, remember? The circu: 

Maybe he's crazy, thought Campo, and 
then out loud he said, "Yes, sir, the 
circus. Yes, sir.” He shook his head in 
supposed fondness for the days gone by. 
“How did you learn about that?” 

“We have our ways,” said Kelly, full of 
mystery and seriousness, “You worked in 
a circus. And what did you do 

Why don’t you tell me? Campo want- 
ed to say, but he said, “Lots of things. 


Campo 
made no impression 


Helped fold the pram tents, drove s 
stuff like that.” 

"Go on.” 

"Well. not much else. I was just a 
dumb kid who ran away from the farm. 
They put me on any work they had for 
me. Then I ditched that job and joined 
the Corps." 

"You have left out one very important 
fact,” said Kelly in irritation, 

If you've got my jail record, you'd 
better bring it out, thought Campo, be- 
cause that was years ago and I don't 
admit to much of it. 

“And that fact can be summed up in 
one word,” said Kelly. 

"Which is?” asked Campo with no 
pretense of respect for this game. 
Elephants,” said Kelly slowly, as if 
the word were a great delicacy that few 
understood. “Elephants.” 

1 and gloating silence, 
Campo struggled to understand. 
You worked with elephants in the 


es, 


1 chewed another 
elephants, Sergeant 


Kelly leaned back 
i You like 


nel. They're OK, I guess.” 
Kelly chewed faster as he got more 
excited very hard to find people 


"[ move that the Ethic: 


who have worked with elephants. I sup- 
pose you know that?" 

“Yes, sir," Campo agreed helplessly. 

“But, I say again, but the elephant is a 
very important animal here in Chanda, 
right?” 

“TE you say so, si 

“It scems to me, Sergeant, that we can 
hardly expect to do anything in this 
place until we show the slopeheads we 


wderstand. their country. s been 
my big problem here, sec? Now I have a 
plan to change this and | want to put 


you in charge of it. I'm willing to forgive 
and forget. What the hell, every man 
needs some liberty. 

Pause again. Campo filled it up with, 
“Yes, sir.” 

^I want to implement this right away. 
We've got a big 
and I don't mind telling you that I. plan 
to have us ready, Top. 

Maybe, just maybe. you shouldn't have 
told me that, Campo said to himself; 
because now I know you didn't file me 
out of here in your unit diary, because 
you don't want any embarrassments 
there on the paper; so maybe, just may- 
be, PIL bargai fter Lh 

“Now, the way 1 sec 
elephant.” 

Campo nodded, expecting the colonel 
to goon. There was a long silence. 

The colonel cleared his throat. "Where 


inspection coming up 


your terms. 
is we need an 


Committee be abolished, on the 


grounds that they have been conducting 


unauthorized wire lap. 


215 


PLAYBOY 


gig thought would please the M 


would we get an elephant, Sergeant 

“I don't know, sir. 1 just got here. 

“Well, it seems to me that has to be 
our first step. See what you can do about 
that. Shouldn't be too much of a prob- 
lem for a man of your training and 
tive. 
The colonel laughed and Campo knew 
he was free and off the absence charge. 
"EU try to get us one, Colonel,” said 
Campo in that senior-N. C. O. tone that 
gathers the hymns of slaves and the 
orations of anarchists into the same pitch 
and voice. 

“Now, I've been doing some reading 
on this, Sergeant, and we need"—he 
pulled out a small notebook and leafed 
through it—"we need a keddah, a how- 
dah and a charjama.” 
ampo's mouth dropped open. " 
“A keddah, a howdah and a ch: 
u know what those are?” 

"No, si 

“Neither do I, but TII find out. Any 
questions, Sergeant?” 

No more than a billion, thought Cam- 
po, but he waited until the jokes were in 
the back of his head again and he acted 
serious. “I was wondering what we were 
going to do with the elephant, once we 
get it. If that’s not moving too far ahead, 


"Not at all, not at all, Top. Glad you 
asked. Well, I guess the first thing we'll 
do is ride it around town, just to show 
the folks what we're all about. Ride it to 
work, ride it to lunch, things like that. 
1 know there will be problems, I know 
that. Anything worth doing has prob- 
lems, right? But if we can show the 
people that we understand their custom: 
our job will be a lot easier. And General 
Grider will know we're doing our best. 
OK?" 

Campo shook his head in a confusing 
motion that said yes and no at the same 
time, 

You know, Top, here in Chanda, 
we've got some real competition. The Rus- 
siansare here, the British. the French, the 
North Vietnamese, the Chinese, and so 
on. The list is huge. And we have to look 
our best. As far as I know, nobody has ev- 
er thought of this idea. It'll be spectacu- 
Jar!" Kelly rubbed his hands. “You scout 
around. You snoop and poop and get me 
that elephant. Only one thing—don't dis- 
appear on me again, you understand? T'I 
write up more charges and specifications 
than you can dream of, if you go U/A 
again. TU string your butt from the flag- 
pole. You better believe that.” 

Oh, I believe it, I believe it, thought 
Campo. “Yes, sir, Coloncl," he said, and 
then, to himself, As long as you need me, 
you will be OK, but may 1 save my own 
hide when the shooting starts. 

Colonel Kelly stood and extended his 
hand. “Good to have you aboard, Top,” 
he said in naval terminology that he 


“Thank you, sir its good to serve 
here," replied Campo, all the time th 
ing of the opium den and his dreams, all 
the time laughing at how easy it was to 
lie to a full bird as soon as you knew 
there were better things in the world. 


Out at Andrews Air Force Base, V 
ter Glover felt as if he were handling a 
crowd scene. General Grider not 
shown up and the ETD was an hour 
awi And what an hour. Four A.M. 
Glover raced between a pay phone near 
the magazine counter and the staging 
area, Margaret sat on her suitcase and 
yawned, Martin Edelman toyed with his 

badge. 
Walter,” Margaret said in half sleep, 
“why are you so fucking stupid?" 

Walter ignored her. He was frantic. 
“He doesn’t answer. I'm sure he's on his 
way. The officer of the day he'd send 
a man over to his quarters.” 

Edelman looked at him with snake's 

eyes. They were not getting along. Glover 
retaliated. “I’m not working for you, you 
know, Martin? You know that? I have to 
try to get along with Little Miss Crypto 
here, but not you, Martin.” 
What did I Walte ed Edel- 
can't help it if the general wants 
me along for some good coverage. No 
matter what you told him. So peace, 
Walter, peace.” He reached up and pat- 
ted Glover on the shoulder. “It's too 
early in the day to get excited. There's 
no protocol at four in the morning. 
None. So relax, War is hell.” 

There comes a time, and it might as 
well be early, when every man necds to 
retaliate; that time is now, thought Gloy- 
"Let me see your shot card, Martin 
Edelman pulled the yellow card from 
his wallet. “It's really none of your 
ness. 
"m in charge of the details side, 
Martin." Glover studied it and pretend- 
ed to show surprise. “You need another 
polio booster. There are only two listed 
here.” 

Edelman looked desperately at the 
card. 

“I can't let you on the plane until you 
. o. shoot up, you know? The dispen- 
is open.” 

‘Come on. I can't lift my arm as it 
"They gave us five shots yesterday.” 

. That's on my check 
id the general wouldn't be happy if 
int comply." 
You would be carrying a Western 
into their country, Martin. Like 
into the New World. Go take a 
needle,” said Margaret. 

Edelman folded his coat neatly and 
tucked it under his arm. He rolled up 
his slecve as he talked. “I hope someday 
I can repay this favor.” 

"OK, Martin, I've got lots to do. T 
can't be smoothing out the feelings of 
the press at four A.M.” 


man. 


syphil 


“Remember one thing before we even 
lift off. babies. After every four in the 
morning, there is a five in the afternoon: 
And that's when the papers hit the 
street. Remember that.” 

Edelman walked like a wounded bear 
toward the open door. 

"You know. he's right, Walter. Just 

because you think what you think, he’s 
still a reporter 
He'll write this up the way the gen 
eral wants it, Margaret. And if he 
doesn't, his editors will. It's a setup and 
I don't want to talk about it. Let me sce 
your shot card, sweetheart.” Margaret 
wet her forefinger and swirled it around 
in Walter's palm. He jerked his hand 
away in embarrassment. “Let me see your 
shot card," he demanded, all the time 
looking around, to see if anyone had 
noticed. 
Hmm-hmm," Margaret whimpered in 
mock passion, “Let me see your necdle 
first. I mean, I'll show you mine if you'll 
show me yours.” 

Danny Campo saw his life as a series 
of absurdities brought on by command- 
ing officers. As he walked the streets of 
Royal City and tried to decide how to 
find an elephant, he thought back on the 
ns in his career that could match 
this one. Once, in Hawaii, he had bee 
asked to bargain for 100 pairs of snow- 
shoes: his company commander was con- 
vinced that the brigade would be sent on 
cold-weather operations. That ghost hunt 
failed when the men refused to coi 
tribute to the snowshoe fund. Then 
there was the American admiral in Hani 
who used Campo's services as bodyguard 
(this immediately after Dien Bien Phu) 
rarcly, but who wanted two canteens of 
water mixed with Coca-Cola at his bed- 
side every morning precisely at sunri 
that hour computed by a chart the ad- 
miral always carried. Now 
back on Asian territory, possibly to die 
there he had assumed, only to find him- 
self wandering around like a zookeeper 
from Brooklyn, scarching for an elc- 
phant 

Maybe I should put an ad in the 
paper, if they have a paper, thought 
Campo: 


WANTED 

One clephant (no tendency toward 
musth) to work part time American 
mission house; should be house- 
broken; pay scale and grading to be 
arranged; all interested, apply Colo 
nel Kelly, field advisor. 


Yes, sir, that would do it. If there w: 
a paper, that is, and if elephants could 
read, and if, if, if. 

Danny Campo stood in the center of 
Royal City's busiest intersection. He 
was at an impasse. The pedicabs swirled 
around him and the few taxis honked 
their horns at the sight of him. C. 
po shook his head. No, he didn't want a 


Mok 


“The entire Juilliard Quartet! ... You glutton!” 


ride; no, he didn't want to buy chewi 
your sister? No, thanks; but if 
ve got an elephant? Yes, you have 
no elephants. OK, OK. 

The jumble of sheet-metal roofs and 
palm fronds and bamboo frames hurt his. 
eyes. This place could get busy, he 
thought. The Constellation Hotel, three 
Stories high, looked like a sky 
always when the confusion of a situation 
tumbled his equi n, Campo decided. 
to drink. 

In the dark and dusty bar just off the 
terrace, Campo ordered a beer from An- 
dreas. His eyes adjusted to the shadows 
and he saw Andreas nursing a split lip. 
The Greek anticipated him: “Please do 
not mention this to me, Sergeant.” So 
Campo nodded and drank his beer. An- 
dreas applied wet cloths to the corner of 
his mouth. 

After two beers and much silence, 
Campo cleared his throat. “Say, Andreas, 
you know where I could get hold of an 
Andreas?” 
arket for them these 
days. 1 suggest you think of something 
else 

“No, no. I want a live elephant." 

Andreas shook his head as he looked 
at himself in a pocket mirror. "My lip 
will not be fit to kiss for a week.” 

Campo shut up and drank another 
beer. In mid-swallow, on a last draining, 
he choked as he felt a sharp slap on the 
back. "Mennan's the name, you old gy- 
rene, and welcome to this booby hatch.” 
Campo saw one of his own helt, with a 
cowboy hat pushed back on the neck and 
one puffed eye that crinkled as if it were 

miling. 

Have a beer,” Campo said. 

lheccit," spat Mennan, "and fill the 
bank for that bastard? He gave me thi 
and I gave him that fat lip and that's 
even trade. That don't mean I have to 
drink his liquor. Him and tl 


ng 


go for gangbangs, don’t you, Andreas? 
ad slide 


Yes, sir, hit ‘em 
both ways. Don't do your d 


id go get 'em a 
ki 


iva that mother has. Gome on, I got 
mc a good place to drink." 

With his arm securely around Campo's 
shoulder, Mennan led him out ac 
terrace and into the street. As they 


into the afternoon, Andreas spit once on 
the floor. Then he finished a beer, 

Marya Pleisetskya stared at Nadolsky. 
“An elephant?” 

“Yes,” he said as he put the phone on 
the hook. “Now, what would they want 
with that? 

“It is perhaps a secret weapon. I don't. 
know. We must cable.” 

Marya . .." but he did not go on. It 
was no use to argue that one. She was 
independent, almost uncontrollable, her 
superiors not his. 

"Alexander, you have been out here 
too long. You have no taste for di 
t has turned you into a Turk 

He wiped red hand- 
kerchiel. The woman had power. She 
was beautiful, but she had power. Ai 
who was he to say she was wrong? He 
had recognized in himself of late a terri 
ble and frightening desire to live in this 
jungle for the rest of his life. E 
quests for transfer, his increasing eccen- 
tricities (how could he have fallen in with 
the scheme of. Andreas? How could he 
iEmute? He felt a surge 
in his crotch and knew why.), his con 
stant bitching about all things tropical 
had been protests against his new ma- 
ture. He was appalled at what he had 
become, yet helpless. Some icicles pla 
ed in his mind by the climate of h 
youth had been melted lorever by thi 
kingdom. 

And yet there was this fresh arr 
Marya the determined, who kept constant 
check and totaled up his weaknesses and 
mistakes (so many; he h 
human) and sent these totals in reports 
back to the steppes. Well, give the girl 
time out here and she would understand. 
Bur it was a question of timing. Would 
the subtle vibrations of Chanda jar her 
frozen attitudes before he was recalled? 

Recall came swiftly. He knew more 

than one of his kind who had been 
carried onto planes while strapped on 
stretchers, their bodies (corpses?) swathed 
in bandages, local officials protesting in 
tively. Recall. 
In India," Marya said seriously, “they 
are using elephants to distribute birth- 
control propaganda. Perhaps the Ameri- 
cans hope to do the same thing." 


ad become so 


"What is so fui 


ny?" she asked. He shook 
his head. as if she would never under- 
stand. “Well!” she said in a huff and 
left the room. 

Nadolsky stopped laughing. There, he 
had done it again. He had set her off 


balance. He had an idea that these inci- 


dents went immediately into her commu- 
niques, all worded 10 prove that anything 

rdinary is subversive. And it prob- 
ably is, he thought, and laughed again 
Bless it, it probably is. 


ht comes early and lasts long in 
Late afternoon isa time for last 
ations before the fog and darkness 
sock into the land. Up in the dusk, 
Mennan sideslipped the small plane and 
Campo felt his guts tug. 

Mennan sang mto the mike and Cam- 
po winced: 


prep: 


“I's a long way to Sayaboury, 
It’s a long, long way from home.” 


Tn the slanting sun, the hills took on 
tinges of blue. Seen from the air, the 
earth looked like a green ash heap, smol- 
dering in spots, where the tribes h 
slashed and burned the fields to clear 
them for themselves. Trails ran straight 
up to villages on the hilltops. The valleys 
filled with shadows and mist. Cam- 
po wondered how Mennan navigated the 
craft. They were flying over a surface 
h no landmarks to speak of, and after 
y stopped following the river, Campo 
1 lost himself completely. "What hap- 
pens if the motor cuts out on you?" he 
ked, just to keep talking in the haze. 
“Well, now,” said Mennan, "let's sec 
about that,” and he cut the power down 
to near nothing. 

“What, hey?” Campo said, scared. No 
noise except the putt-putt-putt of the 
dying contraption. Wind whistle and a 
plane dhifted like a glid- 
er. Campo longed to hear the engine. 
Mennan cackled his discomfort and 
then turned his wrist and brought the 
bird k to life. 

It’s just over that saddle on the hor 
zon,” said Mennan. 

They were headed toward the village 
that was the center of elephant training 


slow prop. T 


217 


PLAYBOY 


218 


in Chanda. Here, Mennan promised, 
they could order themselves a superduper 
elephant that would be just right for 
Colonel Kelly's plan. 

Besides, Campo had logged no air time 
with Mennan, a fact that Mennan con- 
sidered an insult. All his buddies were 
supposed to fly with him. It was a testi 
mony to friendship, in his opinion, 
and he expected gratitude from those 
he waltzed through the air, those who 
were looped and curled and spun until 
the brown bag tucked over the radio re- 
ceiver had been used and the buddy- 
victim was left gasping in his shoulder 
harness, his parachute heavy on his back. 
One of those manly christenings that de- 
manded blood and vomit. 

When the Royal City had disappeared 
behind them, Campo had been taken 
through the ritual. Now, after an hours 
air time, they aimed for the spot on the 
red horizon. 

“I heard they were having a little 
build-up somewhere around here," said 
He tilted the plane again and 
looked idly over his left shoulder. 

When up ahead, as if they had been 
placed there for decoration, two little puffs 
of smoke exploded on the flight path. 
"Shit," said Mennan without emotion, 
and he took the plane into a steep dive. 
Campo wanted to say, Climb. you bastard, 
climb! because the valley floor was coming 


Thees to Dusiness 
LiKe show business... 


up hard and the plane was already below 
the shadow line. Mennan pulled it out 
after Campo had fainted briefly. They 
flew along the treetops, belly-hopping 
over the contours. 

Mennan explained what he was doing 
in the fatherly tones a dentist uses with 
a patient. “Ceiling on this thing is 
only ten thousand, They can reach that 
easy as you can pull a tit. So when they 
fucky-fuck with us, we got to go for the 
floor. 1 say we head back to Royal City 
right now and forget those elephants. 
Ain't no beast worth flying through that 
crap for. I'll fly a spotter mission over 
here tomorrow with some on-call aircraft. 
And if they shoot at me again, they'll 
buy the farm, I promise you, they'll 
catch hell in a basket.” 

“Who is they?" Campo said into the 
mike. 

"How the hell do 1 know who they 
arc? Somebody down there don't like us, 
though. And they got flak to prove it. 
Listen, two years ago, we didn’t have to 
worry about that stuff. We had enough 
trouble hitting the landing strips and 
fighting the fog. So you ask me who 
‘they’ is and I got only one answer: 
anybody who makes my job 
ighter. OK?" 

1 Campo fast. 


"Ah, yes tions arem't what 
they used to be, you know. Delightful at 


first, just the emotional shock to titillate 
us all; wake up and find the telly blast- 
ing away with pictures and replays. 

‘The best thing about the first Trish- 
man’s funeral was the illusion you all 
had that you were united in some 
thing, even if it was grief. I was in 
Washington then and I found it quite 
superior to anything I saw on the rest of 
my little tour. Really it was.” Sumner- 
Clark looked to Coakley for some reac 


tion. but he was not listening. 

"You might as well "s 
nothing you can do now. They are some- 
where just over the skyline. T don't sup- 
pose anything is on time here in 


Chanda, is it? Not even Amcrican gen- 
eris" Sumner-Clark smoked. "Besides, 
they're not coming here to see you. It's 
another kind of probe.” 

‘They'll want to sce my file 
Coakley softly. 

xcellent! I think we made up some 
peachy files. And if you'll screw up your 
bravado a bit, they'll never know the 
difference. I gave you some of our best 
material, love, so be grateful.” 

The two stood in the shade of the 
communications shack. The day was 
cloudy and hot. Their light suits showed 
sweat at the armpits. At least they were 
not standing on the tarmac griddle wait- 
ing for the plane to land. 

Sumner-Clark went on filling the air 
with monologs to keep Coakley amused 
and, he hoped, a little Jess mournful. 
Coakley was such a child at times, assum- 
ing that a man like General Grider was 
nierested in the slips and slides of a 
erratic and not very powerful clerk, “Na- 
tions need orgasms, too, don't they? Of 
course they do. Something a bit more 
exciting than normal to give the system 
a delicious jolt. A plucking of national 
s. You see, I have this theory—lis 
ten to mc, now!” 

“Where the hell are they?” 

"Slowly, slowly, my cabbage. They 
don’t dare appear until Major Poon has 
his band ready.” 

Out on the tarmac, the major was 
trying to align the Royal Chanda Or- 
chestra, They did not seem to know 
where to stand. 

"Now, listen to me," Sumner-Clark 
said. “I want to tell you my theory.” 

“I don't give a damn about your the- 
ory. I want to get this inspection over 
with and get them the hell out of here 
and go back to the way things were. If 
they would just leave us alone 

“My theory is that soon, assassination 
simply will not be enough for us. We'll 
need more excitement, Take the last 
one. I heard about it on the BBG right 
here in Royal City. What did I say? It 
doesn't matter. But what did you say? 
What did the poor housewife say? What 
did all of you feel? 1 submit that if you 


aid. 


1 a national-blood-pressure monitor at 
the moment people heard the news. you 
would have found virtually no response. 
No orgasm. Therefore, we are left with 
y-" Sumner-Clark paused 
to see if he was in control of his nervous 


listener. 
Which Coakley asked without 
interest. 
“It’s quite obvious, isn’t it? Surely you 


and I know that. What happens when a 
thing, any thing, ceases to please us? We 
go on to the next step.” 

Coakley snorted at him. 

“My dear boy. put away your whips 
before you feel too virtuous. Because the 
next step for this poor old impotent 
world is just ahead, We should acknowl 
edge that, love. A progression of sensa- 
tions. You know what I mean. You know 

In the deep silver stacked clouds, there 
was a flickering glint shining like tin 
foil. “That's them!” Coakley shouted. 

Sumner-Clark set his spine against the 
corner of the shack. He wanted to feel the 
warm metal edge run from his shoulder 
blades down to the crease in his ass. Ah, 
that feels different, he thought when he 
had it all arranged. properly. 

Coakley wanted to go closer, in order 
to be part of the reception committee, 
"TI stay here for a while,” said Sumner- 
Clark, "After all, he's not my genera 

As the DC3 landed and rolled towai 
the loading arca, Major Poon made h 
last frantic preparations. The wind did 
not help, kicking up as it did and rocking 
the small table and microphone. 

Colonel Kelly stood rigid as a post and 
watched the approaching plane as if he 
expected it to explode or disappear or 
run over him. Licutenant Goodfellow 
was equally hypertense, Sergeant Campo 
tied to be, too, but without a uniform, 
he could not put all his energies into this 
kind of thing. 

Mennan ran toward the center strip and 
began a majestic series of hand signals to 
the pilot of the DC3. He coaxed it 
across the narrow. metal plates that con- 
nected the loading arca with the runway. 

Behind the high grate fence that de 
fined the edge of the airport, a number 
of children and simlor drivers watched 
the ceremony. None of them smiled or 
waved. 

From time to time, Colonel Kelly 
glanced nervously at the activities of 
Major Poon. He had not expected the 
major to be interested or active in this 
supposedly secret tour. Yet on arrival at 
the airport, the colonel had scen the 
band, the table with its silver cups and 
old coins and bananas. Flowers decorat- 
ed the corners. Rice had been sprinkled 


all over the place 
“What is this shit” the colonel had 
asked the major. 
“Colonel, I am in charge of the peace- 


keeping force and I have decided that 
there will be no warlike visits to Chanda 


without the kingdom presenting its own 
welcome” And the little man had 
turned away from the colonels sputter- 
ing arguments. 

So, as the ramp was wheeled to the 
plane and the door was unsealed, and as 
the colonel and his two aid pped to 
attention, the Royal Chanda Orchestra 
(two trumpets, two bass drums, one 
khene pipe) struck up, in their fashion, 
the completely inappropriate Hail to the 
Chief. To Colonel Kelly's h 
king appeared in his limousine, 
poom at his side. The king carried a 
great garland of palm berries to the foot 
of the ramp and Wampoom sang into 
the mike 


“Hail to American chief 

Hail to American chief 

Welcome to Ghanda the people al- 
ways happy 

Welcome to city where all time flow- 
ers grow 

You number one, ch, honcho Gen- 
eral Grider 

Number ten is sure the day you got 
to go.” 


The music died away in the humidity. 
The general was paralyzed with anger at 
the publicity. The king smiled and w: 
ed. The colonel was terrified by the whole 
mess and for a few seconds, no one 
moved, Dead silence. Then Major Poon 
began to applaud. He turned in small 
circles, like a bullfighter, and clapped his 
hands rapidly, politely. The sound came 
hollow and sharp over the wind and into 
the microphone. The Royal Chanda Or- 
chestra dapped. So did Coakley, who 
stood in the rea 

Soon everyone was dapping, even the 
general, as he stepped down the ramp, 
and the king, after he had thrown the 
garland around the general's shoulders, 
and Wampoom and, finally, Colonel Kel- 
ber of the inspection team 
ded as the plane emptied. 

Then another pause in the improvisa- 
tion. More uneasy grinning silence. Wal- 
ter Glover whispered something to the 
general, who went toward the micro- 
phone and said, quite gruffly, while he 
was clearing his throat, “It’s nice to be 
here.” The general's day was rum- 
pled and he tugged at the center vent. 
“Thank you,” he added. The loudsp 
screeched. Martin Edelman wrote 
on his scratch-pad. 

The day darkened. The clouds moved 
fast. A wall of rain and fog rolled toward 
the airport. In this no man's land of new 
protocol, there seemed to be no one who 
could take charge and break the group 
out of its formation. It was as if they had 
come to a bad party and it was too early 
to leave. Silence again, while all won 
dered what to do. 

When from across the way behind the 
airport fence came the strange sound of 


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220 


wolf howls: “Aiece. aieee,” came the high 
falsetto. Sumner-Clark pushed his back 
away from the shack and scanned the 
^" again. The group 
ne began 10 look. too. But 
was closest (0 the crowd 
w them first, although he did 
t he was seeing. For 
in the midst of the little people 
stood a tall black man with his closed fists 
raised in the air, the knuckles touching 
the barbed wire that crowned the grating. 
ing no sense to those who watched 
om the tarmac, Charley Dog cried 
out his angry howls. As if that was not 
spectacle enough. Sumner-Clark's vision 
settled on the tall dark girl at the black's 
side. Draped in a sari of pheasant color 

she, too. had raised her hands and. was 
shaking them. Her fingers formed the V 
sign. Truly. she was the more frightening. 
of the two for Sumnei 
was wide open and h , bur 
there was no sound from her, no sound 
at all, wy as hard as she might, and 
Sumner-Clark thought for a moment that. 
she was strangling on her own tonguc. 

The rain came. 


H ler mouth 
r head she 


“Yell me some more about them phi, 
Buon Kong,” said Charley Dog. He 
drenched and. his clothes were drying on 
an upper bunk while Dawn rubbed his 
skin with coconut. oil. “Tell me about. 
the way the phi can help us.” 

“The phi are very disobedient, 
Buon Kong. “And they help the disobe 
dient.” 

Hey, that’s OK, Buon Kong. "That's 
bo penhang.” 

“The phi are those spirits in us that 
seek liberty.” 

“I got mucho phi in me, then, Buc 
Kong.” 

The old man 
smoke, ~All me: 


nodded through the 
are born disobed 


They must be forced to work, to fight, to 
respect leaders. They are twisted out of 
harmony. 

Charley Dog sat up. “That may be, 
but | don't see the world changing, no, 
sir. Trouble with the phi is they 
anyth know? 

“Perhaps Buon Kong. "But per- 
haps. if we are ready to accept them, 
they can do thing; 

"E don't know, 
these here phoo love 
be, L don't know." 

“I will tell you a story,” said Buon 
Kong. “Once upon a time, when Yak 
was king of Chanda, there was nothing 
but war. The people were tired of war, 
but Yak always said war was necessary 
for them. No one could br through his 
arguments, because no one else had his 
means of knowing thin If Yak said the 
country was bein eked, how could 
the people debate this? He rarely came 
to the market place himself. His 
ters were able wo make up conv 
reports. How could the people know 
what to do 

“But one day. Yak did come to the 
market. Too many people bad been pro- 
testing his remoteness and he wished to 
pacify them. ‘I am here to answer your 
questions; stid Yak. 

"There were many questions from the 
crowd. but they were not disobedient 
questions, Yak who 
would be permitted to ask things of him. 
in public. 
hen a voice asked, “Do you eat rice, 


You tlk about 
ns and stuff, May- 


g at 


for chose those 


did. A vendor came forward. He held 
one small grain of rice between his 
thumb and for - This is for you, O 
King” the vendor said. The crowd 
laughed uneasily. They were not sure if 
this was insult or ignorance operating. 
Please eat my rice; said che vendor. Yak 


raised the grain to his lips in a sporting 
shion. The vendor grabbed his wrist. 
“Bur first, I must tell you that my rice is 
grown by the phi. O King" 

Yak stiffened and the people gasped. 
‘The vendor went on. ‘Each grain repre- 
sents the hide of one buffalo. The har- 
monious man cats my rice and licks his 
lips and says, “My, what good But 
the man out of harmony eats just one 
grain of my rice and the bulfalo hide 
swells to its full size. That man is imme- 
diately marked for life with a stomach as 
large as a pregnant woman's. So eat my 
rice, O King. see what you 


Buon Kong pulled on his pipe and 


Well, co 
Charly Dog, 
cat the rice?’ 

“Of course not. He handed it back, 
saying that there were too many hungry 
people in his country to waste rice on 
the leaders, who were well [ed 

“So that pissed the people in the m; 
place, didn't it? They wanted to see the 
ing take the test.” 

“Perhaps. But the ministers and others 
in the crowd cheered the king and many 
people followed thei 

"But the king was all shook up and 
things like that and there wasn’t no 
more war while he was king, huh, Buon 

Kong?" 

“Oh, no, there w 
while Yak was king, 


Buon Kong,” said 
“what happened? Did he 


ere many more wai 


“Whats the fucking point, Buon 
Kong?” asked Charley Dog in exaspera- 


tion. “I thought you were all for the phi, 
but | don't see what you got to prove 
with this story. 
The old man handed his pipe to 
Dawn and stretched out on his pallet. 
“Well.” he sighed, "I am sorry, too, but 
sometimes my stories don't turn out the 
way I want them to. Anyway, Charley 
Dog, think about it. It could happen.” 
"Yeah," said Charley Dog as he lay 
down for another massage, ‘yeah 
could. About the time I turn white ar 
rich, Buon Kong, Right about then," 
Buon Kong spoke very slowly in his 
near sleep. “We will need the phi, so 
please do not disown them. This city is 
filling up with unharmonious spirits and 
we must leave here soon." 
"I'm for that, baby. This town is get- 
wz so fortified it looks like the 
g to hold the next Democratic Con- 


goi 
vention here.” Charley Dog re 


xed as 
Dawn kneaded his shoulders. “And, 
ing of that, who's the mayor of this 
e, you know, Buon Kong?” 

The old man was asleep. 


This is the second installment of “The 
Land of a Million Elephants.” The third 
and concluding installment of the novel 
will appear in our April issue. 


STOCK MARKET continued from page 130) 


n return on a random 
common-stock. investment turned out to 
be 9.3 percent a year. It didn't matter 
what stock was bought, when it was 
purchased nor how long it was held. All 
that matiered was that one invest often 
enough and at random; one was bound 
to end up making money at a rate of 
over nine percent a ycar. The study also 
revealed that 78 percent of all 57,000,006 
nsactions showed a profit, which theo- 
ally means that an investor's chances 
g stock, blindfolded. 
from an outspread Wall Street Journal 
are something close to eight in ten. 

The methodology of the study is open 
icim, but the results are probably 
representative. Not surprisingly, they 
caused great jubilation in the stockbroker 
community, though the mutualfund. in- 
dustry, which by and large had been 
hieving lower-than-random results, was 
less pleased. (Despite recent setbacks, the 
funds are now doing better, and readers 
inclined toward this less-demanding form 
ol investment are referred to Playboy's 
Guide to Mutual Funds, by this writer, 
published in these pages in June 1969.) 
Even subtracting income taxes, the 
icr and I res were still remark- 
able. The after-tax return for an individ- 
ual with a taxable income of 510,000 
(based on 1960 dollars and tax rates) 
was 8.7 percent; for an individual in the 
550,000 bracket, 7.7 percent. 

Relying on this information alone, 
tyro investors in every tax bracket might 
do well to confine their initial transac- 
tions to common stocks listed on the big 
hoard, where the deck seems provably 
stacked in their favor. This would lessen 
the preparatory study involved, eliminat- 
ing the need to brush up on preferred 
stocks, bonds, convertible bonds, rights, 
warrants, puts, calls, saddles and all the 
other investment arcana, discussed. fur- 
ther on, in which investors cau also 
make or lose money, Presumably, the in- 
vestor would hope to achieve a return 
considerably higher dian the random 
rate, if only because he could nail down 
a risk-free ten percent these days just 
buying bonds. But even if the investor. 
concentrates his carly efforts on com- 
mon stocks alone, his choice is far 
from limited. To the 1200-plus common 
stocks listed on the big board should be 
added a like number on the Amex and 


ignore), the med 


perhaps another 1000 of the better- 
known over-the-counter offerings. Clear- 
ly, the investor faces more choices than 


1 pple with, and some 
way has to be found 10 reduce them to 
geable proportions. 

‘The easiest way is to begin by explor 
ing not the vast universe of possible 
common stock investments but the smaller 
and more negotiable universe of the in- 
vestor's own experience. Almost all of us, 


can. possibly gr: 


mai 


if we thought about it long enough, could 
unearth an attractive stock from the per 
world with which we're famili 
Perhaps it’s the firm we work for, if we 
can confirm from personal knowledge that 
it’s well managed and making fatter prof- 
its year after year. Or perhaps it's the 
competitor that always gives us so much 
trouble, that supplier who always exceeds 
rds. that hotshot firm a 
iend works for or a corpora- 
tion that regularly produces new prod- 
ucts we can't do without. Was anyone 
unimpressed with the first Polaroid cam- 
er 


asc ol Polaroid stock. 


at any time up to 1965, would now have 
incre: t least fourfold. That's almost 
100 percent a ye: 

Unfortunately. the more a novice 


learns about the stock market, the less 
he'll be willing to rely on his own judg- 
ment. Once he beg ding The Wall 
Street Journal every morning. once he 
starts poring through the business and 
investment magazines, subscribing to am 
advisory service or two, hanging out 
the brokerage board room. watching 
stock figures shoot across die wall and 
listening to what the traders are whisper- 
ing about, shullling through the volumes 
of financial data that supposedly enable 
him to make better investment decisions: 
once he has immersed himself in all this, 
how can he br nself to buy a stock 
like Polaroid just because he owns and 
enjoys one of the company’s cameras? 
The message should be clea: Never 
assume that anyone knows more about 


the market than you do. The stock 
market, like the future, cannot be pre- 
dicted. People who make correct fore 
casts are not oracular—just lucky. Your 
guess has to be as good as the next 
man's. For you, it’s probably better, be- 
cause it's personally suited to your own 
nceds— psychological as well as financial. 
As will be seen, this is crucially important. 

Yet, certain facts can help the would- 


be investor act intelligently. For in- 
stance, he ought to be able to interpret 
the stockprice figures in the daily news- 


papers. This is an especially useful point 
of. depar Not only is the inlorma- 
tion cheap and readily ble but. 
since newspaper stock quotations consist 
solely of names and numbers, no onc 
will be ruined by just reading them (as 
can result from a serious flirtation with a 
bad how-F-made-a-million-in-stocks book). 

Whatever paper he reads. the investor 
will find that the daily quotations of the 
listed stocks look something like th 


i suono 


2 3 119% HT. 119% + 4% 


A cursory reading should reveal that 
the stock in question is Standard Oil 
Company of Ohio, which happens to 
be one of the shares that bucked the 
trend in last summer's market blowout 
The first iwo figures—119 and 65 
e the highest and lowest prices 
which the stock has sold during the 


(U.S, stock prices are invariably quoted 
in dollars aud fractions of dollars, rather 
than in dollars and cents; and over the 
years, investors vc come to think that 
way themselves, because it makes calcula- 
tions easier. Typically, dollar signs are 
dropped for brevity, so $65.25 becomes 


"Its fair enough, The liltle squirt borrows 
our car, we borrow his pot.” 


221 


PLAYBOY 


222 


6514; then, to save breath and provide 
the proper aura of detachment, dollars 
become "points," so that an increase of 
50 is "up two and a half points") 
"rhe year’s high and low figures arc quite 
istructive, but, for some reason, only 
the better financial pages see fit to in- 
clude them. 

The figure following the company 
name represents the dividend the stock 
paid last ycar—in this case, $2.70 a share. 
Companies that regularly pay dividends 
other than cash, usually in the form of 
stock, are indicated by a lower-case let- 
ter after the dividend figure. An alphabet 
soup of other symbols carries additional 
significance; but, since each wite serv- 


ice has its own symbology and since 
many newspapers deviate even from 
these, the investor would do well to 


consult the explanatory table that usu- 
ly accompanies the quotations. "Ihe 
number following the dividend figure 
presents the day's trading volume in 
hundreds of shares; in other words, 67,000 
shares of Sohio were traded that day. If 
the investor has been watching the stock 
closely, he might recognize that this figure 
indicates quite a bit of trading action, 
‘Typically, fewer than 25,000 Sohio shares 
change hands daily. 

The next figures describe the day's 
price movement—opening price, high 
price, low price and closing price and 
the final figure reveals that in the last 
transaction before the market closed, the 
stock was selling at a price of $4.38 
higher than that of the closing trade the 
previous day. (Many investors mistak 
ly think that the last figure, +434 
imple, tells how much the stoci 
nt up that day. Actually, the change 
during the day is the difference between 
the opening price and the closing price 
—which, in this instance, were 119 and. 
11974, giving a daily change of 74 of a 
dollar, 88 cents.) 

‘The point of all this is to show that 
one small row of figures conc gold 
mine of useful information. It not only 


also hides clues to the direction in which 
the stock is heading. Needless to say, the 
dues are ambiguous. In this case, since 
the closing price of 5119.88 represents an 
dvance of $4.38 beyond the previous 
day's close, the stock must have closed the 
previous day at $119.50. Then it opened 
the next day at $119, for an ove! 
jump of $3.50. Such a large ope ip 
is unusual. Either the market for Sohio 
is unstable or some new development 
has taken place overnight. (In th 
instance, both explanations apply.) The 
amateur investor might regard such ac 
tion as ominous. Since the stock jumped 
sharply overnight and closed ar its 
highest level o the year (actually, its 
highest level ever) he could well con- 
dude that the stock is overpriced and 
should be sold. A more seasoned investor 


might reach the opposite conclusion. 
Stocks that reach new highs tend to keep 
reaching new highs. So, on the basis of 
the same information, while the amateur 
is selling, the seasoned investor might 
be the professional 
investor could reach yet a third conclu- 
sion. The stock opened strong on a new 
high, but after the large initial leap, it 
didn't forge much high Whatever 
pushed it up an opening $3.50 wasn't 
sufficient to move it one more dollar the 
entire day. So, despite the record hi 
price, failure of the days action to cor 
firm the strength of the overnight up- 
ward moye could indicate to the pro that 
the stock might not be likely to go up 
much farther. At the very least, the sig- 
nals are confusing, so the pro would 
probably leave the stock alone. 

In this case, he would have made the 
right decision; for, after reaching its new 
high of 11975. Sohio immediately 
dropped back to 110 and, a few wet 
later, was selling in the low 90s. Our 
hypothetical amateur investor, acting 
[or the wrong reasons, would have 
won; his more scasoned counterpart, act- 
ing for the right reasons but not examir 
ing the situation closely enough, would 
have lost; and the truly sophisticated 
investor, unwilling to risk ‘his money in a 
dubious situation, would still have all his 
capital available for a more 
prospect. Quite often, this is just what 
happens. 

While virtually all daily newspapers 
publish stock quotations, their invest- 
ment usefulness beyond that is limit 
cd. For more substantial business news 
and investment. information, two papers 
te: The New York Times, of- 
bove-average financial cover- 
nd The Wall Street Journal, the 
ade mecum of the investing public. Bar- 
ron’s, a tabloid weekly published every 
Saturday, runs a most comprehensive 
compilation of stock statistics, including 
dividend dates and past and current 
figures on corporate profits something 
no other newsstand publication offers. 
Resides its wealth of statistics, Barron's 
features perceptive articles on market 
analysis, A handful of biweckly or 
monthly magazines also cater to the 
needs of would-be or current investors, 
but they are almost uniformly dreary 
and suffer from a grievous conceptual 
flaw: the assumption that anyone who is 
interested in the stock market also 
interested in business and businessmen. 
If an enterprising publisher were to pro- 
iess- 
men but for investors, a magazine that 
talked about stocks instead of machines 
and interviewed speculators instead of 
executives, he would probably make a 
fortune. Until he comes along, inyestors 
must make do with whats available. 
Forbes deserves special mention, if only 
because it is so much better than its 
competitors. Fortune, unabashedly edited 


duce a magazine edited not for bu 


for well-off businessmen, also publishes 
useful investment information. 

A horde of stock-market advisory serv- 
ices, at last count, 9675 of them, fill 
the void left by the business and invest- 
ment magazines with weekly newsletters 
telling investors when and what to buy 
nd sell. Since anyone with a typewriter 
and a duplicat hine can get into 
the advisory business, it's mot surpris- 
ing that the value of most such advice 
is marginal. In the aggregate, the per- 
formance of the advisors’ recommended 
stocks seems just slightly lower than 
the performance of stocks in general. 
Though this is quite a feat, it hardly 
justifies the price of a subscription, 
which can run as high as $200 a year 
X deductible. Back in the Depres- 
sion, delighted Congressional investi- 
gators unearthed a stockmarket advisor 
who l achieved an enviable track 
record (and an income of 510,000 a year) 
by picking stocks on the basis of an 
nterpretation of the Ji: ad Maggie 
comic strip in his Sunday paper. 
Equally bizarre methodologies probably 
persist today; but by and large, the 
advisors are rational even. when they're 
wrong, which is frequent. To be sure, 
some of them have been in business 
for decades, so they must have some- 
thing worth saying. The better ones 
should be willing to provide a complete 
record of their past recommendations, so 
that the would-be subscriber could re: 
sonably assess the value of their advice, 
And the best of the lot are probably 
those that provide hard facts on which 
the investor can base his own decisi 
Most advisory services offer free copies or 
a reduced-rate trial subscription, so the 
patient. investor may find one that suits 
his needs, 

Whether he purchases advice or con- 
jures up his own, the stock dabbler will 
soon learn that the process by which 
investors decide to buy or sell stocks is 
far from scientific. Despite its name— 
security analysis—stock guessing hinges 
heavily on the psychological make-up of 
the person doing the guessing. For pur- 
poses of description, the techniques d 
vide into two broad groups: fundamental 
is and technical analysis. Funda- 
mental analysis, the older and more estab- 
lished of the two, rests on the r 
assumption that there is some 
ship between the fortunes of a frm 
and the price of its stock. The funda- 
mental stock watcher will try to 
through all the relevant information by 
which a company’s present and future 
performance can be measured. This 
ht include the firm's current rate of. 
profit and growth, its past performance, 
its competitive position within its indu 
try, the state of the economy, the firm’s 
marketing capabilities, prospec 
developments and all the other statistical 
insights that might be drawn from a 
balance sheet, a profitand-loss statement, 


e new 


&. 
= 
$ 


PLAYBOY 


a corporate prospectus or a quarterly 
report, Fundamentalists will spend hours 
sift through these and other docu- 
ments, jotting down figures, comparing 
past performance, evaluating manage- 
ment strength and computing net asset 
values and earnings ratios. (Corporate 
profits are rarely called profits; earnings 
sounds less crass.) The fundamentalist 
feels that the more he understands about 
ny, the better is his basis for 
ssessing its potential and, thus, guessing 
how its stock will fare. 

The fundamental approach is essen- 
conservative one. Whether or not. 
es it, the fundamentalist is look- 
ing for investments that offer exception- 
al margins of safety. He secks stocks that 


Romine dividends far above the prev 
ing interest rates or—more likely now: 
days—because they promise growth 
through above-average earnings. 

The advantage of investing on the 
basis of fundamentals that once the 
fi mentalist has done his research, 
he needn't make the effort (it can easily 
become agony) to watch day-to-day price 
movements and day-to-day developments. 
Fundamental analysis locates long-term 
trends. If his analysis is sound, the fun- 
damentalist can just sit it out—assuming 
he has the proper reserves of self-mastery 

nd money. (Often, his patience runs 
out first; he sits on what he deems a 
promising stock for 18 months and 


watches it go nowhere. The week after 
he abandons it, the stock skyrockets) At 
worst—if he has chosen the right stock 
nd keeps his cool—he shouldn't lose 
very much. 

But there are psychological difficulties. 
Fundamentalists agree that almost 
every company can provide them with 
more statistical information than they 
can properly cope with. Yet few agree on 

s are most relevant 
and, even if they get past this hurdle, on 
just what these relevant. fundamentals 
mean. A bull (who thinks stocks will go. 
up) and a bear (his opposite number) 
n pore over the same data and reach 
contradictory conclusions. And in the un- 
likely event that they . the m. 
won't necessarily follow, be 
peat, stock prices are determined not by 
statistics but by people. A stock's funda- 


would-be buyers don't like the company's 
idustry, its long-range potential or even 
its name, the stock will just lie there. 
ars ago, a company called Seaboard 
es invariably rose and fell with the 
hi its full name 
was Seaboard Airline Railroad and it was 
il and daui be 


wansmogtify overnight into 
El Sciences Corporation. Of 
course, strict {undamentalists would deny 
the importance of such unquantifable 
prescagentry. If they can find stocks 
whose fundamentals make them seem rel- 


. Now, you'd better be prepared for a few changes in 
ihe laugh- EVET y- -minute Chuck Brandt you used 
to know back in the old J. Walter Thompson days.” 


atively cheap, they are content, because 
they believe that sooner or later, the mar- 
ket will recognize tme value and their 
toil will be richly rewarded. 

One of the most consistently successful 
devotees of fundamental analysis is Fred 
Carr, who was in charge of the investing 
policies of Enterprise Fund during the 
recent years when that mutual fund 
outperformed all others. Carr is well 

nown as an carly and heavy inv 
Kentucky Fried C 
one of the 
of the late Sixties. Remarkably enough, 
Carr's initial commitment in. Kentucky 
Fried was based solely on a reading of 
the company’s prospectus, a document 
that was available to anyone who cared 
to send away for it. His technique was 
clegantly simple: He figured out how 
much profit could be expected from cach. 
chicken outlet (in the fastfood-to-go 
business this figure is very consistent) 
and multiplied it by the mumber of 
outlets the firm planned to open during 
the next two years. The resulting profit 
figure indicated to Carr that the shares 
were selling at a low price, compared 
with the fingerlickin’ earnings that 
could be expected in 24 months’ time; so 
he bought. The shares, which first sold at 
$15, recently had a market value over 
$300 cael 

The devotees of techni 
called technicians or charts try to 
avoid the fundamentals. They believe 
that all the factors that can affect a 
stock's price are already reflected in the 
price, so the best way to locate the trend 
to study the price movement itself, 
usually through charts. Many techni- 
cians keep their own charts, laboriously 
ng them in each evening or cach 
nd: but for those unwilling to com- 


al analysis, 


promise their time even to this extent, 
scores of technical services offer ready-to- 
use charts, for one stock or for thou 
sands, airmailed to the subscriber every 
Friday night. If the technician reads his 
chants correctly, the market—which chat 
ly rellects the rele 
fundamentals—vill tell him what to do. 


n also faces psycho- 
fundamental 


logical As with 
analysi at temper 
terpret identical d 
even when they agree, the m: 
still drift off perversely in the opposite 
direction. But unlike the fundamentalist, 
the technician must keep a close eye on 
mii fluctuations; and unless he has 
both the time and the s! a to with- 
stand the daily or even hourly cri 
this sort of cyeballing entails, he may 
come to grief. Beyond this, stock charts 
by their very nature describe only the 
past. Especially in an area as fickle and as 
future-oriented as the stock market, one 
can surely question how relevant past 
performance is to future performanc 

But technical analysis also has some 
undeniable attractions. Not only does it 


mi 


ies that 


avoid the ordeal of Icafing through such 
weighty tomes as Moody's Industrial 
Manual but it also offers an investment 
technique that requires a minimum of 
economic expertise. The true technical 
analyst doesn’t want his mind violated 
by a single fundamental. He reasons that 
any tidbit of tangible news he hears 
might prejudice his reading of the charts, 
which he feels alicady reflect all the news, 
ing just the proper weight to each de- 
velopment. In extremis, the technician 
would prefer to plot price movements 
without knowing what the price is or even 
what stock he's following. A West Coast 
stockbroker has actually suceecded at this. 
His advisory service sends him charts from 
which both the name and the price of the 
stock ha 
leets the charts that seem most promising, 
he calls the service to find out what they 
represent. He's been doing this for years 
and, at last report, he was still active and 
prospering. 

No matter what you may think of sudi 
a technique, trading by the charts is far 
from an occult science; a good deal of 
common sense supports it. The illustra- 
tion (right) shows a technician's picture 
of Northwestern Steel & Wire Corpora- 
tion, a big:board stock that traded in 
a welldefined range last spring and 
summer. As is typical with such charts, 
the vertical dashes indicate the week's 
trading range and the horizontal ticks 
show the closing prices. Between March 
and August, the chart shows 
quite clearly, -the stock never closed 
above 51 nor below 44. Common sense 
suggests there must be a reason for such 
constricted performance over six months. 
The simplest explanation is that some 
unknowable investors (perhaps the same 
people) were willing to buy all shares 
offered whenever the price went down to 
44 and to sell without limit when the 
price gor over 50. For anyone with suf- 
ficient capital, this can be a highly prof- 
itable activity. But once a stock has 
established this sort of trading range— 
herc the technicians would call it a rec- 
tangular formation 
to move sharply if the pr 
on either side. In carly September, when 
the stock finally closed above 51, techi 
ians would have rightly assumed that 
N. S. & W. had given a buy signal. Who- 
ever was doing all that selling around 50 
was obviously no Jonger in the market 
and technicians could expect the stock to 
rise, perhaps to a much higher level. The 
presumptive explanation is that all pro- 
spective buyers and sellers have finally 
becn cleaned out of the trading range, so 
the stock must move on up to a new 
equilibrium, In this particular cast, 
N. S. & W. ran right off the chart after 
its breakout. In October, it was selling 
in the mid-80s. 

A host of other chart formations, var 
ously described as flags, pennants, heads- 
and-shoulders, triangles, islands, saucers, 


ve been obliterated. After he s 


Price 
MEL. NORTHWESTERN STEEL & WIRE CORPORATION 
(New York Stock Exchange! 

$60 weekly price range and closing price 

355 

"uam a Phe 

$6 I l | 

Date | 2128]4 1118 25|2 9 162329|6 13 2027[ 1118 25[| 8 152229)5 1219 
(1969) | March | April May. June July August Sept. 


etc., are similarly rcliable—or, when they 
give false signals. similarly misleading. 
Many defy common-sense interpretation, 
which would make their use question- 
able, if only they didn’t seem to work 
fairly often in predicting price trends. 
One reason for their performance might 
be that chart trading is now quite popu- 
lar: tens of thousands of technicians are 
buying and selling stocks ev 
Right or wrong, they are sta 
cash on their calculations, and by their 
very number they can frequently make a 
stock conform to their notions of what it 
should do. Unfortunatcly, the morc they 
rely on the same signals, the less well any 
of them should profit. Nevertheless, some 
large  investors—notably mutual-fund 
portfolio managers—even though they 
may think chart trading is so much 
numerological gobbledygook, still follow 
charts religiously, just 10 get a feeling of 
what the chart traders are up to. 
What most recommends chart 
ing is that it automatically limits loss 
When the technician makes a mistake. it 
costs him relatively little; when the fun- 
damentalist makes a mistake, it can cost 
him everything. The technician ponders 
his charts and determines that if a stock 
penetrates above $58 a share, it should 
rise to $70 or so. He buys automatically 
at the proper moment, and if the stock 
doesn’t immediately conform to his ex- 
pectations—in other words, if it drops 
instead of rising—he must sell. He was 
simply wrong, and he knows it at once. 
He takes his loss and goes back to the 
gr aper. Needless to say, chart trad- 
ing will produce a number of such mis- 
takes, even a turbing number. But 
they will be small mistakes. If the tech 
cian can limit cach loss to five percent or 
. he can be wrong four times out of 


five and still ma If he is right 
half the time, his profits will be substan: 
tial In other words, the technician en- 
joys the luxury of being permitted many 
mistakes. 

Though the fundamentalist will make 
fewer mistakes, the errors he docs make 
will tend to be whoppers; so he can't 
afford as many. This is due to the dif 
ficulties he encounters in limiting h 
losses. He buys the same stock as the 
technician at $58 a share, not because it 
chart looks good but because he thinks 
it’s underpriced. Again, underpriced or 
not, the stock begins to drop—all the way 
down to $48. Whereas the technician 
would get out immediately, the fun- 
damentalist can only return to his analy- 
sis, to see if he miscalculated. If he can't 
find any errors, the stock has to be a 
better buy at $48 than it was at $58; so 
he should probably purchase more. But 
if the stock then keeps going down—and 
many do—the fundamentalist will soon 
find himself ir an impossible situation, 
"averaging down" to take advantage of 
bargain prices but, in the process, buying 
ever-larger chunks of an ever-deteriorat 
ing stock. Like the red or black roulette 
player who doubles up after every loss, 
ing thousands to 


he may find himself risl 
recoup a small bet. At his worst, the 


dichard fundamentalist in a losing stock 
resembles Nieusches madman, pleading 
the sanity of a stock he knows is worth 
$100 in a market place of idiots who 
won't offer $15 a share. 

Many investors are unaware that the 
most cherished barometer of common 
stock performance, the Dow-Jones Indus- 
trial Average, was developed as a technical 
tool. The D. J. I. A.. recording the com 
bined action of 30 blue-chip industrial 
stocks on the big board, was the invention 


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of Charles Dow, father of Dow-Jones 
and Company and grandfather of tech- 
nical analysis. Dow evolved what is 
now known as the Dow theory, the old. 
cst and most respected technical device 
for predicting stock-market sca dh: 
The D.].L.A/s usefulness is far more 
than technical; it has become the popu. 
lar figure for describing over-all market 
performance. Even though loaded with 
conservative stocks that are currently out 
of favor with the Wall Street cognascen- 
ti, it’s fairly accurate, because the 30 
indexed stocks account for much more 
dollar volume than their modest number 
would indicate. The average has often 
been used as a historical index of stock- 
market performance; but this can be 
somewhat misleading, since the figure 
has undergone numerous face liftings 
since Dow contrived it around the turn 
of the century. Curiously enough, only 
one company listed in the average, Gen- 
eral Electric, was a part of the figure 
when it was devised, and even G. E. was 
omitted for a while. Another dropout 
was IBM, which was discarded. Had it 
stayed in, it would have pushed the 
D. J- L A. about twice as high as it is. 
Besides the D. J. L A., a half dozen other 
stock indexes provide similar infor- 
mation and lend themselves to similar 
criticism. Since all market averages are 
just that—averages—they provide a fix 
on what stocks in gencral are doing, but 
they have little to tell the individual in 
vestor, who must buy stocks in particular. 

Somewhere between the chartist and 
the fundamentalist lie those investors 
who use what are called mechanical trad- 
ing rules. These are no more than formu- 
las that supposedly predict the direction 
in which stocks (Le. stocks in general) 
will move. Onc of the carliest of these 
formulas, cited by Benjamin Graham in 
his Security Analysis, was a theory devel- 
oped by Colonel Leonard P. Ayres of 
the Cleveland ‘Trust Company in the 
Twenties. Ayres concluded that stocks 
should be purchased when the number 
of operating blast furnaces in America 
rises above 60 percent; and bonds should 
be unloaded 14 months after a low point 
in pig-iron production. This sort of theo- 
rizing may seem vaguely plausible when it 
is set forth, but only because it worked 
in the past. A future test is needed to 
ascertain its real usefulness, In this case, 
blast furnaces haven't operated below 60 
percent (except during strikes) in modern 
memory and pig iron nowadays is nothing 
more than an anti-establishment euphc- 
mism for handcuffs. 

In practice, all such efforts to develop a 
sure-fire formula to beat the market have 
been doomed to failure. The psychological 
barriers have scen to this. One man's 
successful system can be—and often 1 
bcen—another man's ruin. Moreover, un- 
beatable formulas embody an economic 
paradox: Given an infallible system to 
predict stock-price movements, sooner or 


s 


later everyone would begin using it, and 
everyone can't win. Yet the search goes 

An enterprising New Yorker has de- 
veloped an elaborate theory correlating 
stock prices with the lengit of women’s 
skirts. His general rule—don't sell until 
you sce the whites of their thighs—may 
have called the market top last year, And 
a computer, fed reams of statistical data 
about the top-performing stocks of the 
Sixties, advised its cager programmers 
to buy only those stocks whose names end 
An even more recent discovery, the 
overthe-counter volume index, now tab- 
ulated by Barron's, has a contemporary 
history of accurately signaling market tops. 
"The assumption is that whenever over-the- 
counter stocks are excessively popular, 
weak speculators dominate the market 
and a decline can be expected. But it 
should be obvious that any stock-market 
technique, whether fundamental, techni- 
cal or mechanical, should be regarded 
with suspicion if it doesn't have a basis 
in common sense. 

Sad to say, many  investors—perhaps 
the majority—enter the market with no 
technique at all. They buy one stock on 
friend's tip, another because they saw 
it touted in a newspaper column, a third 
because their broker says its chart looks 
good and a fourth because they've heard 
is going to split. They might even make 
money with this mindless approach; after 
l, the odds are loaded in their favor. 
But without a single technique applied 
consistently, they cannot expect consist- 
ent results, Rather than investing, they 
are gambling. The man with one tech- 
nique, consistently applied, gets feed. 
back. He will either profit consistently or 
lose consistently. If he loses, he at least 
knows his technique is faulty, so he can 
amend it. And when cmendations finally 
produce what for him is a winning tedi- 
nique, he cn expect it to win for him 
with some regularity. 

When the would-be investor finds a 
technique he thinks will work, he can 
check out its soundness by making paper 
transactions—pretending he's investing 
without really doing so and keeping 
track of the results as the months go by. 
Whatever valuable knowledge he comes 
by this way won't cost him a cent. Of 
course, it won't make him a cent, either; 
and, in a way, all the paper transactions 
in the world aren't nearly as instructive 
as one real investment, whether it tur 
out good or bad. It's astonishing how 
much you'll learn about the stock market 
once you have a few thousand dollars 
riding in it. Corporate reports, obscure 
chart formations, offbeat investment pub- 
lications, all the detritus of the invest- 
ment world will suddenly take on an 
cosmic. significance hard 
ca on the Going in cold is 
certainly the easiest way to learn about 
stocks, but irs not the most profitable, 
because you should do your homework be- 
fore you enter the market, not afterward. 


s 


almost when 


h linc. 


Oldtimers insist that real experience 
is the only teacher, meaning that you've. 
got to lose money belore you gain the 
rn some (with the implicit 
assumption that they expect you to lose 
money to them). But no matter to whom 
vou might lose money. you learn nothing 
from losing except how to lose. Losing 
may teach you what not to do, but it 
doesn't teach what you ought to do. The 
way to Icam to win is by winning, which 
you're not likely to do unless you learn 
the rules before trying to play the game. 
Among other things, this requires a 
stockbroker. 

Finding a broker isn’t a big problem. 
In fact, if while experimenting with the 
market vou have succumbed 10 ads 
offering free copies of brokerage-house 
stock-research reports, you can be certain 
that brokers are already on your trail. 
Most of the major brokerage houses 
greatly expanded their staffs during the 
high-volume market that ended abrupily 
carly last year. A few novices have been 
let go since then, but board rooms are 
still teeming with hungry young custom 
er's men of great vision and small clien- 
ide. For the first time in years, it's a 
buyer's market for stockbrokers, and it's 
probable that from among the glut the 
would-be investor can find a good one 
Good or bad, he should work for a firm 
with a membership in (or connection 
with) the major exchanges. All large 
brokerage houses, and most of the 
smaller ones, qualify. 

There are two breeds of broker: the 
good and the glib. The good broker is a 
savvy investor in his own right. Perhaps 
he doesn’t have the money right now 
(hotshot young brokers, despite all their 
publicity, aren't paid nearly as well as 
most investors imagine). Perhaps his pe 
sonal situation prevents him from taking 
the risks implicit in any  stock-market 
transaction. Or perhaps he does have the 
money and is taking the risks, quietly 
building up a fortune toward that distant 
day when he can tell both clients and 


employer to go straight to hell, he 
doesn't need them ymore, Whatever 
his situation, such a man, wh he re- 


mains a broker, will try to put his cus- 
tomers only into situations he believes in 
himself. He realizes that his best interest 
is his customer's best interest. He strives 
to build his clients’ fortunes, because he 
knows that rich clients generate fat com- 
missions, and fat commissions mean more 
moncy to enhance his own fortune. Obvi 
ously, good brokers are hard to find. Like 
good running backs, they [atten too quick- 
ly, Why get beat up every Sunday, if you 
own a di s, a high-rise 
or three or a liquor distributorship? 
Glib brokers are more common. These 
are men who have small investment 
sense themselves but who are so good at 
persuading others of their expertise that 
they can prosper, like wood ticks, from 
the constant. procession of new hosts with 


n of restaur: 


which their peculiar talent provides 
them. For the investor who can make 
his own decisions, it really doesn’t matter 
which breed of broker he deals with. AIL 
that matters is that his broker follow 
orders. Actually, the glib variety, prope 
ly groomed, is superior at this. because 
hell endorse any investment, however 

ational, as long as it provides him a 
whereas the good broker 


commission 
will obdurately and conscientiously op 
pose a new idea, no matter how percep- 
tive, if it runsagainst the grain of his own 
investment sensibility, which is enormous. 

The investor in need of stock-market 
advice must find a good broker. This is 
an especially difficult task, because the 
good broker, his truncated life expectan 
cy notwithstanding. should ha 
ence in down markets as well 
Joseph Conrad. once observed: “Any fool 
n carry on, but only a wise man knows 
how to shorten sail.” In  stock-market 
terms: An idiot can look like a prophet 
in a roaring bull market; it's the bear 
markets that try an advisor's mettle. The 
investor who must rely on his broker 
really has no choice but to find a man 
on whom others have relied successfully. 
He can ask his friends. his lawyer, his 
banker, even his doctor. Strangely, doc 
tors are an especially good source: they 
have lots of money, invest heavily, hear 
from brokers frequently and seem to 
enjoy talking about stocks. 

For the same reason that General Mo- 
tors executives drive Ca 
than Lincolns, biokers usually endor 
the stock recommendations that are peri 
odically emitted by the firms for which 


they work. But this doesn't mean their 
customers should follow suit. Brokerag 
house research deparunents are set up to 
accommodate big clients who generate 
big commissions. This includes mutual 
funds, pension funds. trusts, banks and 
insurance companies. By the time a bro- 
kerage-house report trickles down to the 
mall investor. the big boys have already 
acted on it (assuming it’s worth acting 
on) and may be girding themselves to 
sell. Investors who read the finan 
ial papers have been recently treated to 
an orgy of self-criticism, from the heads 
of the two biggest stock exchanges, di- 
rected at the quality of research that 
reaches the small investor. No matter 
that all this Aagellation prefaces a big 
boost smalltransaction commission. 
rates (as the president of the New York 
Stock Exchange engagingly put it: Stiffer 

i provide "an incentive 
to provide more emphasis and depth in 
services to the small customer”), because 
the point should be clear: Free advice, 
no matter what its source, is worth just 
what you pay for it—nothing. 

Like bartenders and barbers, stock. 
brokers have finely tuned instines for 
their customers’ psychological needs. De- 
pending on the dient, they can be expec 
cd to disgorge a computerlike printout 
of unsolicited information or to perform 
their assigned chores in discreet and com- 
petent silence. The novice investor with 
more money than ideas can expect su 
ficient tips from his broker to keep him 
active through retirement or bankruptcy. 
And the investor who merely wants his 
orders executed promptly and accurately 


“On your mark... get set... .” 


PLAYBOY 


228 more quickly than they ri 


can find similar satisfaction, probably 
from the same man. It is the customer 
himself, through the signals he sends to 
his broker, who will determine the treat- 
ment he gets. 

Besides executing orders, brokers are 
willing (even cager) to offer lows, in 
the form of money, if customers want to 
buy stock on margin, or in the form of 
shares, if the customers want to sell 
short. Both concepts are subject to popu 
lar confusion. Margin is the percentage 
of the cash value of a transaction that 
the customer must put up if his broker is 
to lend him the rest. Currendy, the ma 
gin—set by the Federal Reserve Board— 
is 80 percent, The investor who wants to 
buy stock selling at 55000 must bring at 
least $4000 to the transaction. His broker 
will then lend him the remaining 
$1000—at interest, of course—rctaining 
the purchased shares as collateral. Before 
the great crash of 1929, margin rates 
were down to ten percent (even lower 
for favored customers) and money was 
easily borrowed. At today's high interest 
rates, the brokerage house might charge 
10 or even 15 percent on the skimpy 20 
percent that it can lend. In recent years, 
the margin rate has dipped as low as 50 
percent and the interest rate on broker 
loans has gone as low as 5; should these 
happy conditions once more prevail, 
small investors would do well to margin 
themselves to the hilt, to profit from the 
increased leverage that accrues from 
working with borrowed money. But un- 
less the investor is dealing in five- or 
six-figure sums, interest rates are so high 
nd borrowable funds so scarce—that 
margin transactions are barely worth the 
effort. Banks will make collateral | 
against stock certificates—as long as you 
swear you don't intend to use the loan to 
Duy more stock—and Canadian banks 
don't even require a loyalty oath, But 
wherever you go, the interest rate will be 
quite dear, so that these quasilegal she- 
nanigans are better postponed to days of 
easier money. 

Short sclling, however, deserves more 
serious consideration. From the earliest 
days of stock transactions, action-hungry 
speculators have been cager to profit not 
only when a stock moves up but when 
declines, This is done by borrowing 
shares from someone who already owns 
them, then selling the shares in the mar- 


ket. Subsequently, if the price declines, 
the short seller can repurchase them at a 


lower price, return them to their owner, 
and pocket the difference. Borrowing 
shares to sell short is usually no problem, 
because brokerage houses are literally 
ish with stock certificates, posted as 
margin collateral or otherwise held on 
customers’ behalf. (Many investors—es- 
pecially short-term specul:tors—rarely see 
a certificate, preferring instead to let their 
broker provide safekeep 

Because stock prices usually fall a lot 
» short sell- 


ing. properly timed. can be much more 
vesting. But it’s 
also more dificult and fraught with un- 
pleasant philosophical overtones. To buy 
a share in American industry is a respect- 
ed and eminently justifiable pursuit. 
Here the investor is betting on prog- 
ress and stands to prosper with the for- 
tunes of the economy and of his firm. IE 
he’s right, everyone wins. But by selling 
short, the investor is betting on disaster. 
He stands to prosper only if his firm—or 
the economy gener: 
Tor this reason, a great m 
tors view short selling as somet 
to un-American and refuse to 
thing to do with it. On 
investor transaction 

The ideological case against shore sell- 
ing is provably unsound, but the short 
seller docs face real difficulties that the 
ordin: investor never encounters, If 
the amateur buys 100 shares of stock at 
$20 a share, he knows in advance just 
how much he can lose. His prospective 
profits are limitless (the stock might go 
to $1000 a share), but he can never lose 
more than the $2000 with which he be- 
gan. But with a short sale, the potentials 
are reversed. The best a short seller cin 
do is double his money (if the stock he 
sels drops to zero), but there is no limit 
to the amount he can lose. If he shorts a 
stock at 520 and then it goes to $40, he'll 
lose his 52000. But what if it gocs on 
up to 580, or to 5500, or to whatever 


140 is à short sale. 


level might cos him more than 
he has? This is a remote possibility, 
virally an stocks just 


don't shoot from $20 to $500; and even 
il they did, shell-shocked shorts would 
find room to bail out along the way. But 
to the small investor, especially if he is 
the sort who balances his checkbook 
every month, the prospect of limitless 
Joss, no matter how remote, is not worth 


ighly sophisticated computer study 
of short selling, recently published in the 
Financial Analysts Journal, confirms that 
such luge losses rarely—if. ever—occur. 
Instead, the study found, short selling 
consistently produces small losses, at à 
ndom rate of 8-10 percent a year, a 

t seems to verily the Fisher and 
used earlier. But who 
s, especially consistent 


needs small I 
small losses? 
Beyond this, both the Internal Reye- 
mue. Service and the Securities and T 
change Com w short selling 
less than cordially. Even if an investor 
should stay short on the same stock for a 
generation, the IRS denies him the tax 
shelter of long-term capital gains (profits 


from investments held over six months 
and taxed at half the ordi 


y rate or 25 
percent, whichever is less). Profit from 
every short sale is taxable as current in- 
come. For its part, the SEC insists tl 
short sales be made on what is called an 
uptick—which means that you can sell 


a stock short only when it's rising. To top. 
t off, the short seller must make good— 
to his broker and ultimately to whoever 
lent the shares—any dividends that might 
be id on the stock he has shorted. 

Whether the investor is a buyer or a 
seller, the sort of instructions that he 
gives his broker will depend on his in- 
vestment technique. If he's like most 
smallish investors, eying a stock that he 
hopes will go up. he'll probably just ask 
his broker to buy it. This is really a 
request to buy “at the market,” wherein 
the broker purchases the number of 
shares ordered at the best price he can 
get. The liquidity of the big exchanges is 
good assurance chat such orders—in the 
quantities in which the small investor 
will deal—won't be filled at a price dif- 
fering drastically from the last recorded 
transaction. 

While market orders are by far the 
most common, there's nothing to prevent 
n investor from setting his own price. 
except that if it's very far from the 
current price, his order won't be filled. If 
he does name his own price, he's making 
what is called a limited order, which, not 
surpr i 
strings By far the most com- 
mon limited order is known as a stop. 
because its most frequent use is to pre- 
vent loses. A stop is an order to buy 
or sell at the prevailing market price, 
after the stock has touched a level the 
investor specifies. In other words, 
order automatically becomes a m 
order when the stop level is touched 
pecially useful to technical- 
iple of 


is shown on page 225, the techni 
once he had perceived the boundaries 
the emerging rectangular formation (this 
was clear by July) could have placed 
two stop orders: a stop-buy order at, say, 
5114 and a stop-sell order at 431. There- 
fter, if he were supremely confident of 
technical expertise, he wouldn't even 
bother to watch the stock's price, 
ing chit the market itself would trigger 
his purchase (or short sale) at the ap- 
propriate time. He has no certainty, of 
course, that his buy order will actually 
be executed at the stop price of 5114; he 
might actually buy at 52 or 521%. But 
since any penetration to 511% is a sign 
for him to act, he doesn’t really care at 
what price his market order is filled, as 
long as it's filled right alter the 511 
level has been touched. In the example 
shown, this finally would haye happened 
in early September. 

Stops are also used, by technic 
fundamentalists alike, to protect profits. 
To continue the previous example, once 
the investor has purchased Northwestern 
Steel & Wire in the low 50s and watched 
with delight as it ran up through the 60s 
in less than a week, he might begin 
wondering when to take his profits and 


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PLAYBOY 
CHANGE OF ADDRESS 
FORM 


Moving? Use this form to advise PLAYBOY 30 
days in advance. Important! To effect change 
quickly, be sure and attach mailing label from 
magazine wrapper to this form and include 
both old and new address. 


AFFIX LABEL HERE 


OLD ADDRESS 

ane ‘ease print 

Rites 

[7] Suis Tip Code 
NEW ADDRESS 


ty E 
Nail to: PLAYBOY 
919 N. Michigan Ave. + 


Tio Code 


Chicago, Illinois 60611 


go elsewhere. To avoid cashing in pre- 
maturely, he could put out a stop-sell 
order a few points below the previous 
week's closing price. Then, if the stock 
retreated back to his stop level, he would 
automatically be sold out. Once a 
the market would be telling him what to 
do. And the stock continued to ad 
ce, he could keep trailing his stop 
behind it, changing the stop level week 
by week, accumulating larger and larger 
profits until the stock finally reversed. 
(In this example, a stop trailing just two 
ts below the previous week's closing 
price would not have triggered a sale 
until the stock reached the low 80s in 
late October.) Automatic orders like this 
are most easily placed in stocks listed on 
the two major exchanges, where special 
ists—brokers on the floor of the es 
change who are charged with making the 
market in specific stocks—keep track of 
Jl outstanding orders above and below 
the market. But similar orders can also 
be set up, somewhat less effectively, for 
stocks traded over the counter. 

There are many other types of limited 
order, all equallysuseful, and a good 
broker can probably comply with any 
order he can be made to understand. 
Onc d is not used as often as it should 
be is the MIT (market if touched) order, 
the opposite of 2 stop. requ 
stock if it runs up to a speci 
to buy if the price runs down, MIT 
orders, favored. by fundamentalists, are 
especially useful in getting in or out of 
a stock at a favorable price. The funda- 
mentalist. with his eye on long-range 
values, can afford to wait for the market 
to come to him, rather than chasing 
as the so often docs whe 
his stops are triggered. Another common 
limited order is suggestively dubbed FOK 
(All or kill)—also called a quickie, Here 
the investor sets his own price. If the 
order can't be filled immediately at that 
price, it is canceled. This device is used 
extensively in the commodities markets 
nd is useful in buying or selling thinly 
traded over-the-counter stocks. But the 
investor would be laughed right out of 
the board room if he tried it in the popi 
lar stocks traded on the major exchanges. 
Limited orders are also circumscribed in 
time: good for one day, one week, one 
month or until canceled. As a courtesy. 
brokerage houses usually send out regular 
statements to customers. listing limited 
orders that remain unexecuted. Even the 
canniest investors are human, and these 
reminders obviate the costly possibility of 
forgetting to cancel an orde 

Brokers, of course, are human, too, 
and the investor should never forget th: 
they are essentially salesmen, paid in 
accordance with the volume of business 
they generate. Thus, they h: 
interest in action, while the prudent. in- 
vestor, like Hamlet, might have an equal- 
ly strong interest in biding his time. In 


va 


technician 


a vested 


any case, brokers’ recommendations are 
almost invariably recommendations 10 
buy. Buy-oriented research is infinitely 
more useful to brokers, After all, 
anyone can be persuaded to buy a stock. 
To make money from a sell report, 
broker has to track down someone who 
already owns the shares and convince him 
to unload. So be wary of advice from 
brokers. They may mean well, and many 
of them do, but their interests are not 
your interests. Depend on 
to execute your orders faith 


most 


your broke 
fully and promptly, and be thankful that 


you don't have to pay him too much for 
this valuable service. 

Compared with the commissions 
charged in most other investment media, 
broker commissions are really quite lov. 
"They are assessed on each transaction, 
which means each purchase or sale of a 
different stock. The commission rate is 
almost impossibly complex. Here's a sa 
ple—for stocks sold on the two big c 
changes—in the range in which the 
reader is most likely to be dealing: 


m- 


CASH VALUE OF SHARES 
$ 100-5 399.90. 
$ 400— 
$2400-$45 
$5000 and up. . 


COMMISSION 


2% $3 
s 05$ 
exec Dese SER) 
. 1/10% + $39 


All these charges are for round-lot 
transactions—those involving 100-share 
units. (Very infrequently, a round lot of 
an expensive stock might be less tha 
100 shares—usually 10.) Odd-lot tran 
actions, involving fewer than 100 shares, 
are assessed at two dollars less than these 
rates, plus an odd-lot fee of either 1 
E cents a share. On the big 
board, the rate is 25 cents on shares over 
$55 and 1214 cents on shares below; the 
break point on the American Exchange 
is $40. In addition to all this, there are 
substantial discounts for high rollers who 
trade in units of over 1000 shares; rates 
by nego! ctions under 


nts or 2i 


to 
the cost of each transaction; and a host 
of other tedious complexities. As a rule, 
it’s not advisable to involve yourself in 
odd-lot purchases of stocks selling under 
SI0-515 a share, because the odd-lot fee, 
added to the broker commission, makes 
the price of admission relatively steep: 
and it’s similarly unwise to invest less 
than $400 a shot, because on smaller 
purchases, the commission will be too 
high. 

The biggest investment expense, how- 
ever, is not usually brokerage comi 
sions but taxes. But since the individual's 
we of can't be determined 
until the ycar is over, it's difficult if not 
impossible to cstimate the tax cons 
quences of a transaction when it's made. 


taxation 


As mentioned before, short-term capital 
gains—profits from investments held 
under six months—are taxed the same 
as ordinary income. You add your short- 
term profits to your salary income and 
pay taxes on the lot. Long-term gains— 
profits from investments held for more 
than six months—get preferential treat- 
ment, being taxed at half the ordinary 
rate or 25 percent, whichever is less. Thi 
means that while everyone has an incen- 
e long-term capital gains, those 
in the over-50-percent brackets have even 
more incentive. 

Unless you are infallible, you will 
probably incur Joses as well as profits. 
When you pay your taxes, the Jaw re- 
quires you to separate investment profits 
(or losses) into two bundles: long-term. 
and short-term. Short-term losses are the 
most significant, because they can be 
used to reduce taxable income by as 
much as $1000 a year. They should 
also be the most common, because if 
you've followed the general principle of 
taking losses quickly and letting profits 
run (discussed below), you'll frequently 
condude an investment. year with long- 
term profit and short-term loss. You will 
have to pay taxes (at tlie more favorable 
rate) on the gains, but you can also use 
up to $1000 of the losses to reduce your 
income. For a bachelor in the 50 
percent bracket, this represents a tax 
saving of $500, which makes the $1000 loss 
a lot more palatable. Losses over $1000 
may be carried forward to future years, 
and a sizable “short-term tax-loss carry 
forward,” as it is called, can be a surpris- 
ingly useful thing for a young man on 
the way up. It allows him to dabble in 
short-term speculations that (in tax 
terms) might otherwise be less attractive. 
And as long as it lasts, the short-term 
tax-loss carry forward allows him to re- 


duce his taxable income, year a 
by $1000, a prospect that gets better and 
better as he moves into the higher brack- 


ets. Of course, it's still beter not to have 
losses at all; but, as Bernard Baruch 
supposedly said, the only investors who 
never lose are li: 

In the Middle Ages, the well to do 
spent much of their time in search of the 
philosophers’ stone—a device that would 
nto gold. The 20th Century 
equivalent involves a quest for ways to 
transform short-term profits into long- 
term gains. Until a very few years ago, 
this could be accomplished with some 
consistency, but now the ever-watchful 
IRS has cracked down. so that. other 
than by holding am investment for the 
required six months, there is no alchemy 
to convert short-term profit into long 
term. But there are several ways to 
vreeze” a short-term profit and then 
push it forward into the next tax year or 
even push it forward indefinitely. OE 
course, the investor should have compel- 
ling reasons before he attempts to do 


“Your tomato surprise, sir.” 


this, and he would probably want 10 
employ competent tax counsel to make 
sure nothing goes ami 

A minor money-maker but one worth 
noting involves a quirk in the tax law— 
it might unkindly be called a loophole 


— that permits up to n U. S. corpo- 
rate dividends tax-free each year. Divi- 
dends over 5100 are taxable as ordinary 
income, so the investor has smaller incen- 


tive to receive them. But every investor, 
especially those in the higher brackets, 
should set up his portfolio to yield that 
first $100 in dividend income. For the 
bachelor making $20,000 or so 


this is equivalent to $200 in additional 
y income; with returns as high as 12 


percent currently available, 
ment of as little as $800 can reward him. 
with two or threc nights on the town 
every year for the rest of his life. A small 
consideration, to bc sure, but fortunes 
are built on small considerations. 

Most of the highest dividend payers 
are not common stocks but preferred. 
Preferred stocks can be likened to interest- 
bearing corporate I. O. U.s. They are gen- 
erally issued in peculiar situations, often 
acquisitions, where the corporation wants 
to raise money without issuing more com- 
mon shares. (More common might alien- 
ate current stockholders by diluting the 
value of their holdings) The company 


issuing. preferred stock promises to pay a 
fixed annual dividend on each share, and 
it pledges to pay this dividend—no more, 
no less -as long as the stock is outstand. 
ing. (Dividends on common stock, of 
course, are not fixed; they rise amd fall 
ith the company’s fortunes.) Preferred 
shares are so called because if the com- 
pany is liquidated, preferred shareholders 
must get their money back before the 


9; 


common shareholders receive a penny. A 
preferred stock 


thus similar to 
that it promises only a fixed 
As with bonds, its market price tends to 
fluctuate not according to the prosperity 
of the issuing firm but according to the 
general interest rate. 

An example should make this clear 
When investors can get a seven percent 
return from U.S. Treasury notes, then 
the preferred stock of a fi 


à bond, 


the U.S. Treasury itself, might sell in 
to produce a dividend of eight 
percent. If the share's fixed dividend is 
$8 a year then the share itself would 
ket value of around $100, 
the 
price. If the return on Treasury notes 
should decline, say, to as low as three 
. the preferred 
t then sell to yield four per- 
cent. At this rate, a fixed income of $8 


231 


PLAYBOY 


232 convertible preferred stod 


annually is worth not 5100 but $200, and 
the happy man who bought the preferred 
share at $100 would have doubled his 
moncy. Unfortunately. in the past fe 

rs, int 
alling. while 
inflation has further 
putative security of a fixed income. 
ferred shares have nosed steadily down- 
ward, to a point where investors are 
hardly willing to buy them. In fact, an 
investor these days might live a prospe 
ous life without ever owning a single 
share, Preferred. stocks—many of which 
trade on the New York Stock Exch 
will be worth buying whenever 
flation is brought under control and the 
interest rate starts turning down. Surely, 
this will happen sooner or later, but few 
investors would be willing to risk hard 
cash on their ability to guess just wher 

From a corporation's standpoint, pre- 
ferred stock is also unattractive because 
the company cannot deduct the divi- 
dends it pays to its preferred sharehold- 
ers. The Internal Revenue Service insists 
that dividends—whether preferred or 
common not an ordinary and neces- 
sary expense of doing business, Interest, 
however, is a legitimately deductible ex- 


st rates have been rising, not 
and 


rampant 


essentially similar to preferred stock. The 
company borrows from individuals and 
ives them a bond as security. The com- 
pany promises to pay the bondholder a 
fixed annual interest (the going rate is 
now close to nine percent) and. alter a 
number of years, to return his money. 
Since bonds, like preferred stock, repre- 
sent only a fixed income, their market 
value also Huctuate; inversely with the 
"nterest rate. In recent years, bonds have 
ed just as poorly as preferred stock. In 
act, while the interest rate regularly 
new highs a while back, the 
ket was just as regularly r 
g new lows. The total amount of 
tied up in bonds amounts to some 
300 billion dollars, and day after dreary 
day last summer and fall, every bond 
the country was worth less than its pur- 
chaser had paid for it. The big-money 
investors, it scems, are not always right. 
Many companies have circumvented 
the inhospitality of te bond market by 
ible bonds. These are or- 
: They can be 
converted into a fixed number of shares 
of the issuing company’s common stock. 
The investor who buys convertible bonds 
has the security of a fixed income (though 
the retum is lower than that on straight 
bonds) and he also has the chance to 
profit if the common stock into which the 
bond is convertible should rise. This arti- 
cle is not the place for a full discussion 
of the pitfalls and potentials of con- 
yertible bonds (or their near cousins, 
but a work- 


ing knowledge of them is u 
one seriously imerested ir 
market. 

Common stock, preferred stock and 
convertible bonds all have one t n 
common: They represent a tangible obli- 
ion on the part of the issuing comp: 
ny. In one way or another, the investor 
who purchases them has a stake in the 
firm's assets. But investors can also make 
(or lose) money in scraps of paper not 
ked by corporate assets, One example 
is a warrant, representing the right to 
buy a share of stock at a fixed price. The 
bestknown wanants are sold on the 
American Stock Exchange, but the major- 
ity trade over the counter. Among the 
most popular warrants these days are 
those of Leasco Data Processing F 


ful for any- 
the stock 


quip- 


ment Corporation, a recently formed and 
highly successful computer-leasing con- 
glomerate. Each Leasco warrant repre- 


sh of 


senis the right to purchase on 
Leasco common (from the Leasco treas- 
ury) at $34.80. At this writing, the com 
mon stock was selling for around S25 
share, so, technically, the warrant was 
worth less than nothing, Yet cach wa 
ant selling for around $12. The 


reason for this is simple enough. If Leas- 


co should quadruple in price (as it has 
been known to do). the holders of com- 
mon shares would quadruple their mor 
cy. but the owners of the warrants would 
are even better, since, if the common 


sells at $100, the right to buy a share 
534.80 would be worth something over 
S65. I 


other words, while the common 
tor of four, the warrants 
se by a factor of six or more. 
ince they represent the 
ht to buy something, rather than the 
thing itself, are a breed of option. Op- 
s also take other forms, Rights are 
lentical to warrants, except that they 
are much shorter-lived. Warrants may be 
good for years or even forever; righ 
valid for a matter of weeks. G 
a company will distribute rights to its 


shareholders when ng lo issue 
more common stod versed, 
rights permit the purchase of the new 


common shares at a small . As 
rrants, the recipients of the rights 
her sell them to someone else or 
e them. 
r more prevalent u 
puts and calls. A put represents the 
to sell such and such a stock at a set 
price for a given period of time and a 
Call is its opposite: the right to buy. 
Virtually all puts and calls are for 100- 
share blocks; they are bought and sold 
through any stockbroker, though the 
investor can also go directly to dealers in 
New York. The time period varies from 
30 days to one ye: 
lar run for 190 d 


to give happy hold. 
ers of profitable options the shelter of 
long-term capital gains. 

The cost of a put or a call v 
tremendously, according to the volatility 


of the stock, its price, the length of the 
option period and the vicissitudes of sup- 
ply and demand. A 190-day call on 100 
shares of a moderately volatile stock sell- 
ing around S50 a share might cost $250 
to $400. This is expensive. but for a 
speculator who has found a stock he 
aks is due for a substantial and im- 
minent rise, purchasing a call can be 
vastly more profitable than buying shares 
ht. For a stock selling at $50, for 
instance, an investor with $5000-plus 
could purchase 100 shares. Buc with that 
Kind of money, he might pick up calls 
on 1200 shares, If the stock conformed 
to his expectations and six months 
was selling at 575. he would make $ 
on the outright purchase, bur $25,000 
on the purchase of calls. Of course, if the 
stock had gone down or remained the 
same, the outright purchaser would lose 
ile the call buyer 
nire S5000. 

Be g the prospect of limit- 
less profits and limited or at least know 
able losses, puts and calls can. be used as 
surance, to minimize investment risk. 
In fact. the investor can involve himself 

1 nearlimitless pu com! 
tions. A straddle is a put call in the 
same stock (useful when an investor 
thinks a stock is going to go but doesn't 
know which way): a strap is one put and 
two calls; and a strip. onc call and two 
puts. The use of the last two is arcane 
and complex. generally combined. with 
the outright purchase (or short sale) of a 
block of the same stock in the pursuit of 
both profit and tax advantage. Novices 
cnter this realm of the putand-call game 
only at their peril. And they should be- 
ware of becoming so fascinated with 
suring stock profits chat they wind up 
with what is known in the trade as a 


relatively little, wi 
would give up his 


les. offe 


le, with the investor's 
ly dissipating in insurance pr 
In addition to all this, an investor with 
ficient cash or a suitable portfolio of 
stocks can get into the option business 
from the back side, by selling (or “w 
ing”) purs ather than buying 
them. This is a lucrative pursuit, too 
specialized to discuss here, but interested. 
parties might consult their broker about 
it or read Paul. Sarnoll's Puts and Calls, 
available for $5.95 from the America 
Research Council, Box 183, Rye, New 
York 10580. Sev impressive mathe. 
matical studies have shown that while 
big Killings are undeniably made throu 
buying these options, those who w 
them profit more consistently. This 
more surprising than 
while you can win a fortune a 
you're better off owning the casino. 
Once the investor has a grasp of the 
various elements that comprise the stock 
10 put them to 
work. If he really craves action, for in- 
stance, there's nothing to prevent him 


pr calls. 


no 
observing that 


roulette, 


233 


PLAYBOY 


234 em waxed fat as the sh: 


from buying a call on a warrant—in 
essence, purchasing the right to buy the 
right to buy a stock. Given this sort of 
double leverage, even a small move in 
the stock at the end of the option chain 
can translate into enormous fluctuation: 
in the value of the call. The warrants 
associated with "Tri-Continental Corpora- 
tion are a perennial favorite for this 
technique, because Tri-Continental is a 
diversified investment com] for all 
intents and purposes a mutual fund, 
whose price movement usually parallels 
that of the broad market averages. Popu- 
lar feeling that stocks are about to turn 
is usually accompanied by heavy activity 
‘Tri-Continental w; nts. 

Buying calls on warrants approaches 


the apogee of risk taking. Another 
two-sided technique, in more 

is arbinag volves 
the simultaneous purchase and sale of 


essentially similar securities, in hopes of 
profiting Írom small price discrepancies, A 
dassic example would involve the pur- 
chase of 1000 shares of General Motors 
$72 on the New York Exchange and 
its simultaneous short sale, in San Fran- 
cisco, at $72.50. Here, the profits, afte 

broker commi: would be a lofty $38 
and the investor would need a five 
sum 10 set it up. Not surp 
such transactions are conducted by broker- 
age houses for their own account; they 
have the money, they're right on top of 
price movement, they have their own me 

on the exchange floors to assure getting 
the right price—and they dont pay 
commissions. 

Other sorts of price disparity lend 
themselves better to individual participa 
tion. Arbitrage transactions can involve 
ihe purchase of warrants or converti 
ble bonds and the ultancous sale of the 
stock into which they can be converted; 
short sale of overpriced warrants and 
the purchase of the related common 
stock; purchase of convertible bonds and 
the sale of a call on the related comma 
stock: and, in a proposed merger, buying 
the stock of the company to be acquired. 

nd shorting the would-be parent. Ti 

somewhat risky pursuit now 
days, since so many mergers are going on 
the rocks; but because of thi ter risk, 
profits (in a few wecks) of 20 to 30 percent 
are common—if the merger comcs off. 

Even quicker profits have been made 
by investors speculating in new 
stock in companies 
g offered to the public for the first 
. The year 1968 was a banner one 
for such wares. Billionaire Perot's compa- 
the beginning of this 
mple, though his 
stock took a full year to go from 516.50 
to $136. A new issue called Educational 
Computer Corporation ran from 57.25 to 
S260 in just four months. In September 
1968. when Weight Watchers Internation- 
1 went public at 1125, delighted buy- 
res ballooned to 


was one exa 


an overstuffed $40 on the very day of the 
offering. And Integrated. Resources, Inc., 
ran from S15 to $41.50 on its first day 
out; it had two full-time employees. 

But speculators who pay large markups 
for unproven new issues do so at their 
peril. Whenever the performance of low- 
priced new issues begins to make head- 
lines, it's a certain sign of excessive 
speculation. A decline, not only in new 
sues but in the entire market, can be ex 
pected to follow. This happened in 1962. 
after an orgy of new-issue speculation the 

before, and it happened again lust 
fter the 1968 spree. Ironically, small 
vestors didn't get so badly burned in the 
most recent new-issue debacle, mainly 
because the amateurs couldn't get th 
hands on too many of the hot new share 
Brokerage houses generally reserve a lim- 
ited new issue for their best customers— 
mutual funds. p: funds and. high- 
rolling speculators—all supposedly knowl- 
edgeable investors who have been acting 
out of character in the past few years. 

Periodic new-issue benders explain in 
microcosm why stock prices rise slowly 
and then fall sharply. Since it’s often im- 
possible to say what a company will be 
like before it goes public, new issue bu 
ers operate on the Greater Fool Theory, 
whi 


year, 


h holds that it doesn’t matter w 
you pay lor a hot stock, because a 
eater Fool will soon come along to 


y more for it. For a time, this can 
a seli-Dulfilling prophecy. People 

money to be made 
in the stock market, so they buy sh; 
The pressure of their buying forces 
prices up. Higher prices generate more 


comers into the m: 
higher yet. Buyers begin ER se 
from stocks, not because the 

represent real value but becau 
scm to go up all the time. 
kind of rbinking—whetl d to 
common stocks or chain. letters—carrics 
the seeds of disaster. Someone at the end. 
of the chain, presumably the Greatest 
Fool, will someday be left holding certi 
icates lor which there are no more buy- 


But th 


ers. The SEG recently attempted to trace 
the whereabouts of 504 firms that went 
public during the new-issue boom of the 


he SEC 


late Fifties 
couldn't even locate 12 percent of the 
firms: another 43 percent were known to 
have gone bankrupt; and 26 percent were 
currently operating at a Joss. The 
maining 19 percent were actually ope 
ing profitably, so perhaps they made some 
money for those patient and prescient 
nvestors who got in, as they say, on the 
ground floor. 

New issues are first sold in the ove 
ihecounter market, As mentioned car 
lier, this is a vast, complex and tenuously 
ed network of dealers who independ- 
ently make markets in the tens of thou- 
sands of stocks that aren't traded on the 
big exchanges. Not only stocks but most 


warrants and corporate bonds—and vir- 
tually all municipal bonds—trade over 
the counter. At this writing, more than 
3000 OTC stocks c ed at 
ihe prevailing 80 percent m The 
rest you must purchase outright, unless 
you can talk your bank into accepting 
your shares a loan. 
ubstantial, conservative stocks are 
traded over the counter—most nota 
those of the Bank of New York 
has been pay 
the days of George Washington—but the 
Vast majority are small, highly speculat 
issues that don't qualify for listing on the 

ig exchanges. Understandably. some of 
the best stock buys (and some of the worst) 
ave 1o be found here. In 1968, the last 
year for which complete statistics are avail- 
able, more than 1300 over-the-counter 
stocks increased by 30 percent or more 
(97 decreased similarly) amd around 50 
ncreased over 1000 percent. To be sure, 
1968 was a very good year and this 
record won't even be approached when 
the final returns come in for 1969. But 
good year or bad, stocks on the big board. 
don't usually make 1000 percent moves 
the last one to do so was Republic Coi 
poration, and that was in 1967. 

You buy over-the-counter stoc! 
your broker, but beyond that, 
everything about the buying process 
different. Overthe-coumer stocks take 
their name from the early days of the 
New York Stock Exchange. Back then, an 
investor could go to the exchange and 
buy some stocks at auction; but to buy 
others, he had to haggle with a banker, 
over the counter, The same conditions still 
prevail: Listed stocks are bought by auc 
ion, OTC stocks by negoti That's 
why over-the-counter prices are quoted i 
pairs: bid and asked. The bid price is 
what some dealer is willing to pay for the 
stock: the asked price what he is willing 
to sell it for; and the nce, rarely 
more than five percent, is usually hi 
profit. margin. 

Overthe counter transactions are not 
given instantaneously on a ticker tape or 
by computer. Instead, they are compiled 
ery weekday 
1 of paper known to bi 
sting of dealer? buy and 
ious stocks they 
© a market in. The ove 
the-counter bid and asked prices pub- 
lished in the newspaper arc a fractional 
distillation of the information contained 
in the pink sheet, so they are always a 
day late. T here's also a green sheet, from 
Chicago, and a white sheet, from San 
vancio: among the three, the investor 
will find buy and sell prices for virma 
every unlisted stock in the count 

Usually, you pay d stockex- 
change commissions m overhe- 
counter transaction. Your broker will buy 
at the asked price and take his commi 
sion on top. There are no odd-lot fee 
but your broker might have to pay a 


through 


p 
pink sheet. co 
sell prices for the v 


stand 


on 


slightly higher asked price for small tr 
actions. Many brokers supplement th 
income by acting as over-the-counter deal- 
ers themselves. So if you're buying an 
over-the-counter stock on your broker's 
advice, it’s wise to find out whether the 
purchase will involve him as a broker or 
as a dealer. In the latter case, the cost 
should. be lower, but there's the danger 
that instead of offering good advice, he's 
just trying to move merchandise. 

We've pointed up all the specific 
le to over 


investment. is 
rgely a mater of psychology. Every 
investor has his own style and his own 
needs. WelLoff executives who are pressed 
lor time frequently prefer to put their 
capital in the hands of investment coun- 
selors. For a fee, such men provide 
professional and supposedly first-rate 
portfolio management. But even the best 
investment advisors often fail to recog- 


nize that their job isn’t over when 
they've found good stocks, They must 
then get these good stocks into the hands 
of investors who can live with them. 
The family man who keeps savings bonds 
in a safedeposit box and hears noises 


at the front door at night will probably 
be miserable owning a volatile over-the- 
counter stock—even if it skyrockets from 
the day he puts it in his portfolio. For 
him, every minor reversal will be a 
portent of i i Re 

will come only when he’s sold the stock. 
Conversely, the bad who spends 
his pay check remorselessly and gets his 
kicks breaking speed limits in his Corvette 
ha 
portfolio of gilt-edged blue chips, even if 
they were to increase steadily every month 
he owned them. This man doesn't want 


sions you make yourseli—assuming the 
proper elements of hard thought go in- 
to them—are the most satisfactory. Much 
more than just profit is involved. 

While every investor's decisions will 
differ with his particular situation, a 
number of precautions amd principles 
apply to all. "The observations in the ten 
paragraphs that follow are simple to 
state. They all appeal to common sense 
and, if followed religiously. they will 
almost surely result in long-run investe 
ment success. Yer remarkably few 
tors—even canny old who 
all the rules—have the psychological dis- 
cipline to act on them consistently. 

l One of the oldest stock-market 
chestnuts—so hoary that it's been elevat- 
ed to the k of cliché—concerns diver- 
sification: Don't put all your eggs in one 
basket. The assumption is that investing 
in a broad spectrum of companies and 
industries minimizes risk. But usually, 
this technique only minimizes profit. 
The investor who is morbidly preoccu- 
pied with avoiding risk should stay out 


of the market altogether. And the inves- 
tor who wants to make money should 
narrow his sights to the very [ew stocks 
that seem most promising. Investment 
writer Gerald Loeb has stated the prin- 
ciple succinctly: "Put all your eggs in one 
basket—and then watch the basket.” 

2. Never act on tips, no matter what 
their source. Only one genre of tip can 
have any validity: information from cor- 
porate insiders, But often, even insiders 
don't know what they're talking about 
(A wellknown conglomerateur once ad 
vised his own mother not to buy his 
stock—too risky. The stock then ran 
from $15 to $165.) Even when insiders 
do speak knowledgcably, to act on their 
information before it 


them will. Bur to get a t on it and 
then profit handsomely the most 
dangerous course of all. Bad tipsters, like 
hees, will sting you only once, but the 
tipster whose information pays off may 
come to scem infinitely wise, rather than 
just lucky, He can hurt you repeatedly 
3. Let profits run; take losses quickly 
and without sell-recrimination. One's ap- 
proach toward losses, rather than profits, 
usually separates the successful speculator 
from the ne’er-do-well. To win con: 
ly, you must be willing to admit that you 
will make mistakes, not just a blunder 
here and there, but mista 
Once again, this is a matter of psychology, 
but investment success can hinge on it. If 
you refuse to admit your own fallibility, 
yowll be reluctant to take losses 
mental paralysis that continually 


pacitates the amateur investor. He 
all losses as paper losses and fecls 
that a paper loss is somehow more 
tolerable than a real one, Alter all, the 
market could turn around tomorrow and 
give it all back. So he sits on a losing situ- 
tion, waiting for it to return to where he 
bought it. This ties up capital, some- 
times for years, that otherwise could be 
working productively: and it guarantees 
the investor—if he's both patient and 

k 
even. The losing investor not only lets 
his losses run but he takes his profits too 
quickly. "You never lose taking a profit" 
is a well-intended but erroneous maxim 
that has gulled speculators since the 
Dutch-tulip craze. Of course, you can 
lose taking a profit, if you take it too 
soon and if it has to cover those inevita- 
s. Stocks move in trends; once 
arts moving, it tends to keep 
moving in the same direction. This may 
be a truism, but it works. Ride along with 
the trend, perhaps using the progressive- 
stop technique mentioned earlier, until 
the stock itself begins to indicate that the 
move is faltering. If the stock moves con- 
siderably, perhaps doubling, consider tak- 
ing a profit by seiling hall your share 
that way, you have your original capital 
for other investments and you retain the 


ca 


sce 


lucky enough—that he'll someday bre: 


other half as insurance against a further 
Whatever you finally sell for is ad- 
ional profit. Plagued by losses, the un- 


successful investor won't let hi ag, 
stocks work for him. He sces every profit- 
able specu » potential debacle. At 
the earliest opportunity, he tiptoes in to 


w 


all back. Overeagerness to grab. 
just as costly as refusal to 


“I certainly don't see what you have to be grumpy about.” 


235 


PLAYBOY 


236 


losses. As noted, loss taking is much easier 
for the technical investor. The fundamen- 
talis, for his own protection, must ser 
some arbitrary loss limit, perhaps 20 per 
cent or so, beyond which he cannot ride 
with a stock, no matter how sound it 
might seem. Such an approach will surely 
miss big moves in stocks that crouch be- 
fore they leap: but it will keep him out of 
stocks that crouch only to fall on their 
faces, thus assuring that he'll still have 
most of his money to bring to the next 
opportunity. Just as loss limitation is 
easier for technicians, so do fundamen- 
talists have less trouble in letting profits 
r icc they have their eyes on real 
value, rather than on the shaky and 
confusing wail of short-term price action, 
they are less likely to be frightened out 
of a good stock on a minor setback. 
Technicians, for their protection, should 
refrain [rom watching the market too 
closely, once they're in a decisively win- 
ning position. If they use progressive 
stops, they should trail behind them by 
10 or even 15 percent, thus assuring that 
they won't be sold out too early. 

4. Don't wy to call the tops and bot- 
toms; go with the trend, When prices are 
rising, successful investors are buying 
stocks that losers are selling; when prices 
are falling, the winners are selling back 
to the losers. This is because the losing 
investor buys stocks that look cheap— 
compared with what they were selling 
for last month. But anyone who buys a 
ng stock because it looks like a 
again is implicitly betting that it won't 
go lower. He is trying to call the bottom, 
He'd do just as well buying lottery tick- 
ets. The successful investor would never 
have the hubris to think he could pick 
the tops and bottoms, He knows ti 
a stock is lower this week t 
ances are it will be even lower 
That's how 

ices turn around, as they always do 
eventually, losing speculators tend to sell 
out when they break even and then 
steadfastly refuse to buy more, on the 
grounds that prices are now too high. 
Typically, prices will continue to ad- 

ince, perhaps for months or even years, 
until the loser is finally convinced that 
they're going to rise forever, whereupon 
he leaps in precisely at the moment 
when the winning investor is unloading. 
Average up, not down. At some 
point in his investing carcer, every losin} 
speculator discovers the wonders of aver- 
aging down. He buys 100 shares of a 
stock a $30 and then sits on it while it 
drops to $20, Here, it occurs to him that 
he can now get 150 shares for the same 
price he originally paid for 100, simult; 
neously reducing his loss—or at lea 
appearing to reduce his loss. Now he h; 
250 shares, for which he has paid 56000: 
formerly, the stock had to rise to $30 for 
him to break even, but now it need go 
only to $24. If the stock then shoots back 
to $40, he has made a very wise move. 


last, 
next 
stocks move, When 


st 


But usually it doesn't. A stock that drops 
from S30 to $20 will probably drop 
lower yet. Investors shouldn't sit on de- 
dining stocks; and they certainly shouldn 
keep sinking money into them while they 
decline. Averaging up is precisely the op- 
posite technique, and it makes better fi- 
nancial sense, because it goes with the 
trend, rather than against it. A winning 
nvestor might buy 200 shares of a stock 
selling at $20. If the stock goes down, hell 
get out quickly. Only if it goes up would 
he add to his position. He might buy 100 
more shares at 530 and another 50 at $40. 
He is buying with the trend and, by 
pyramiding in reverse (purchasing pro- 
gressively smaller amounts), he is effec- 
tively locking profit. After his last 
purchase at $40, the stock could go all the 
way back to $26 and still give him a profit 
—though he'd surely be out before then. 

6. Never lament hindsight profits; they 
are as gossamer and as conjectural as 
the road untaken. If a stock has been 
good to you and you decide to cash in 
nd go elsewhere, who cares if it keeps 
rising after you've sold out? A high-flying 
stock you no longer own is no different 
from the other highfliers you've never 
owned, Despite the practical necessity of 
cutting losses short and lewing profits 
run, once a stock has run, it's both foolish 
and dangerous to try to squeeze the I 
dollar from it. Selling at the top is 
problematical as buying at the bottom. 
The pros are quite content to take their 
profits in the middle. They leave the 
fringes for the little people. One of the 
French Rothschilds, a fantastically suc- 
cessful speculator, wryly explained that 
he owed his fortune to “selling 100 soon.” 

7. As noted, whatever your investment 
technique, you must be consistent. Don't 
buy a stock because its chart action looks 
good and then, when the price goes 
against you, hold it because it's now 
relatively cheap on the basis of the fun 
damentals or because your brokerage 
house just declared it a buy. If you don't 
have a consistent plan, you can't expect 
consistent results. You may make a profit 
now and again, but you are staking your 
money on chance rather than on des 

8. Given a technique to apply consist- 
ently, you should enter the market only 
when it promises to give back more than 
you risk. Good poker players do this 
instinctively, assessing the odds betwe 
the pot and their bet, their hand 
draw. When the odds favor them, they 
stay in; otherwise, they fold. If the odds 
in the stock market were as precise as 
those in poker, investing would be 
easier. Yet, one can make rough calcul: 
ions. Figure that the downside ri 
v common stock is at least ten per- 
cent. This calculus sensibly recognizes 
the unpredictability of the market. At 
the outset, every investment ought to be 
regarded as a speculation: Only when a 
speculation produces a profit can it be 
rewarded with the word investment. To 


nd the 


assume a ten percent risk in hope of 
knocking down a five percent gain is to 
ight the odds. With a presumptive down- 
ide rid: of ten percent (or more), the 
nvestor shouldn't even consider a stock 
90 per- 
side. If 


unless it promises profit well over 


cent, This keeps the odds on 
he's right only half che time, he'll still 
make a profit 

9. As in poker, of course, you should 
never risk money that you can't aflord to 
lose. Beyond this, you should never com- 
mit all your investment funds to make- 
or-break investments such as puts and 
calls, where you might blow ev 
in one mistake. Obviously, if you lose all 
your money, you won't be able to play 
anymore. Always allocate enough money 
to investments that will permit a come- 
back from the worst imaginable defeat. 
This might entail being overly conservi- 
tive with half your stake, so that you can 
take larger. sks with the rest. 

10. And when you make a good profit, 
pull some of it out of the market. The 
ultimate measure of a successful investor. 
is not the size of his portfolio but how 
much cash he takes home—for good. 
Assuming relatively consistent success, 
you can siphon olf three fourths of your 
net profits cach year and still scc. your 
nvestment. capital grow handsomely, In 
dition, you'll be able to enjoy your 
winn 
about, or what it should be all about. 

Don't think the day of the individual 
speculator is over. Institutions—mutual 
funds, savings banks, insurance com- 
panies and pension funds—are supposed- 
ly dominating the market. Happily lor 
the small investor, the facts don't bear 
this out. At the end of 1968. the total 
value of all U.S. corporate stock was 
707 billion dollars, and of this, insti- 
tutions owned only ion dollars— 
20 percent. The remaining 584 
billion dollars was still owned by indi- 


gs which is what the game is 


Jess than. 


vidual. True, institutions account for a 
disproportionate share of the action; 1 
cent estimates involve them in half the 
tades on the big board. This means 
that institutions are generating huge 
brokerage commissions; whether they're 
producing comparable profits remains to 
be scen. At the current rate, more th 
generation will pa 
own even half the 
Clearly. individuals still reign. supreme 
the stock market and they will for a 
long time to come. This should be espe- 
cially good news for the beginning inves- 


tor with a lifetime of bull and bear 
markets ahead of him. He probably 
won't make a billion dollars and, on 


occasion, hc may losc much more than 
he bargained for. But over the long run, 
if he plays his hand wisely and well, he'll 
not only make money but have the con- 
siderable satisfaction of knowing he's a 
winner at a game that tests his own 


sel mastery. 


PLAYBOY 


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