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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN MARCH 1971 + ONE DOLLAR

PLAYBOY

12 PAGES ON THE
GIRLS OF HOLLAND

CANDID INTERVIEW.
WITH DICK CAVETT

PLAYBOY TESTS
THE MINI-CARS

A REVEALING
à А PORTRAIT ОЕ
Me a MAYOR DALEY

GET A LEG UP-WITH LEE

Lee Four-Pocket Bells. You're
on top of it, man. A cutabove the rest. With
four patch pockets instead of the usual two. Four-
buttonfly. And fabric that feels like velvet but it*s a brushed

cotton sateen. The fit goes like this. Low on the hipbones.
Lean in the leg. Super-wide in the bells. Yeah, super. In Cherry-
wood. Barely Pink. Mist Green. Beige. Wedgewood Blue.

From $8.50. At fine stores everywhere.
One up in style

“| H. D. Lee Co., Inc., Fashion Division, P.O. Box 440, Shawnee Mission, Kansas 66201. Also available in Canada.

THE NEW TOYOTA COROLLA
has no reason to be afraid

of heights. This year it's
almost ten inches longer than
it was last year. (161.4 inches
long.] So even six footers can
suetch out, And almost two
inches wider. (59.3 inches
wide.) So four good-sized
people can expect no battles
with leg cramps or arm cramps
or neck cramps.

All this room is nice. But the
Corolla's $1798* price includes
much more than space.

It includes a stylish body.
Front fender sidelights neatly
tucked into a wrap-around
grill. Two air scoops at the

windshield. Larger taillights.

It includes things to help
keep the car around long past
its time. Four coats of paint.
An undersealed chassis to drive
away rust and corrosion. A
frame and body welded into
one piece. And a five-main-
bearing engine.

It includes luxury and
convenience items. White
sidewall tires. Tinted glass.
Thick snap-down nylon carpets.
Fully reclining bucket seats.
All-vinyl interior. Glove box.
And a recessed rear parcel shelf
Íor more storage area.

It includes a 73 horsepower
engine that cruises at 78 mph.
Yet still squeezes about 28

miles from each gallon of gas.

And it includes a sealed
lubrication system. So the
chassis never has to be greased.

It doesn't include air
conditioning or automatic
transmission or AM/FM radio
or sterco tape deck. They're
extra. (Oh well, you can't
have everything.)

By now, it should be obvious
that $1798 gets you plenty.
Even if you're six feet tall.

Seven feet. That's another
story.

TOYOTA

We're quality oriented

Most cars under $1800
are for people under six feet.

‘Manufacturer’ suggested rad price. 2 Dr. Sedan $1798, 2 Dy. Fastback $1918 2 Dr. Wagon $1958. Acessories, options, dealer preparation, eight ard taxes сха

Tareyton is better.

"Thats why us Tareyton
smokers would rather
fight than switch?

ums LAVEVLON ТО

Tareyton's activated charcoal delivers a better taste. A taste no plain white filter can match.

PLAYBILL THE LAST OF THE Wi Y BOSSES in America, Richard J. Daley, runs Chic ago like a ficfdom. In
an era in which cloquence and charisma are considered indispensable political assets, he lacks both
to an almost laughable degree. Yet his counterparts, the "new politicians" such as John Lindsay of New York City
nd Carl Stokes of Cleveland, must sometimes feel like uad a litle of their charm for a shot of Daley's power.
Chicago's fow-term mayor (he runs lor an unprecedented fifth term next month) is seen by many as represively
reactionary, by others as an ellective, tough-minded executive: but for writers, whose only access 10 the man consists
ol press conferences, where he рош» out a curious blend of invective and non sequiturs, he is an elusive, complex,
almost inscrutable figure, Mike Royko—whose personality portrait of Daley, Hizzoner, is expanded in Boss—Rich-
ard J. Daley of Chicago, to be published later this month by E. P. Dutton—began working as a reporter at about
the time his subject became mayor 15 years ago. Since then, Daley has accumulated virtually unparalleled polit-
ical power—he was courted by both Kennedy brothers in their Presidential bids—and Royko has become the star

columnist of the Chicago Daily News, exposing the city's political machinery to his corrosive wit and sarcasm,
Dick Cavett, the subject of this month's Playboy Interview, has managed to bring to television—in the course of

his down-and-up carcer in that middlebrow medium—a refreshing air of nce and intelligence, Since taking
over as ABC's entry in the latenight talkshow derby, Cavett has attracted outspoken and provocative guests and
given them a chance to tell his unusually loyal audience what's on their minds. In addition to featuring none of the
Gabor sisters, Cavett presents such unusual and compelling personalities as Orson Welles, Norman Mailer, con-
sumer crusader Ralph Nader and prison reformer Tom Murton, last month's £nterview. subject. Turning the
les on Cavett, former Associate Editor Harold. Ramis herein interviews the interviewer at length and in depth.
George Axelrod, author of such Broadway hits as The Seven-Year Heh and such screenplays as How to Mu
der Your Wife, contributes this month's lead fiction, Where Am 1 Now When I Need Me? is the glecful tale of a
tough-Iuck writer who has the good fortune to meet one of New York's most beautiful, expensive and loony call-
girls. А book-length version will be published by Viking Press in May. Another familiar name in this month's fiction

AXELROD LACKS

PURDY QUEEN HIGDON KAHN FFOLKES URBA

lineup is Ellery Queen, In The Three Students, the problem is. of course, academic and, just as naturally, solved
with the fair that has made Queen (who is really Fred Dannay) one of the finest mystery writers around.
The great white shar! perhaps the most mysterious and terr ng member of a speci has not evolved
since its first appearance 370,000,000 years ago, Writer Pete Matthiessen and a film crew sailed off the coasts of AT-
rica and Australia in quest of these vicious predators and, after days of fruitless searching, finally found and photo-
graphed several of the sharks. This strange and dangerous adventure is related in Shark!, parts of which will appe
in his book Blue Meridian: The Search for the Great White Shark, vo be published this spring by Random House.
Unlike the shark, man is constantly changing in order to survive. But he'll have to do a hell of a lot better at
it, according to Polluted Мап, by Articles Editor Arthur Kretchmer. Having given up hope that the environmental
is would be met with any kind of official action, Kretchmer decided to consider the problem from the perspective
of human adaptability. An exhaustive study of anthropology texts gave him the background he needed to design a
new man capable of handling smog, noise, pollution, garbage, computers and his fellow human beings. Another
form of survival, in the upward-mobile world of business, is stucl Higdon's rules of Executive. Chess, a
game of moves and strategies as subtle arcfully planned as those of its classic: nterpart, Youthful radicalism,
а topic that seems to provoke shrill analysis from almost every quarter, is considered in two unusually thoughtIul
essays by sociologist Richard Flacks and psychoanalyst Bruno Bettelheim, who disagree over The Roots of Radical-
ism but argue calmly and cogently. To sce why many of today's alienated young have flocked to Holland this past
year, Associate vel Editor Reg Pouerion and Staff Photographer Alexas Urba visited this liber ated land. and
produced the evocative leature Amsterdam and the Girls of Holland. Rounding out the issue: The Box
Kahn's story about some perils of the postal service that go beyond rain, sleet and snow; Ffolkes Infferno, a vi
the nether regions by the British cartoonist; The Mini Revolution, a test. driven appraisal of the current sm all-car
crop by Contributing Editor Ken W. Purdy; and many other fine features to make yours а memorable March.

col

vol. 18, no. 3—march, 1971

PLAYBOY.

CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE

PLAYBHL.. ЕРЕ - z 3)
DEAR PLAYBOY... сретна 5 55
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. — 2
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR €—— 45
Smart Reinweor
THE PLAYBOY FORUM 53
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: DICK CAVETT—candid conversation 6?
WHERE AM I NOW WHEN I NEED МЕ? —fiction...................GEORGE AXELROD 80
A PLAYBOY PAD: WALK-IN WORK OF ART—modern living. : 85
POLLUTED MAN—fantasy....... ARTHUR KRETCHMER 90
THE CURIOUS STORY OF CHERIE IN WONDERLAND —pictoriol 3 эз
SHARK!—erticle. PETER MATTHIESSEN 98
THE MINI REVOLUTION —modorn living E KEN W. PURDY 102

THE ROOTS OF RADICALISM —articles_ BRUNO BETTELHEIM and RICHARD FLACKS 106

SNOW BUNNY — ployboy's playmate of the month E 110
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor. = ns
MEXICO, SI!—food and drink " THOMAS MARIO 120
THE BOX Heu JAMES КАНЫ 123
SMART ENOUGH TO GO OUT IN THE RAIN—attire ROBERT L GREEN 125

VARGAS GIRL—pictor — ALBERTO VARGAS 128

THE THREE STUDENTS fiction. 3 ELLERY QUEEN 131
FROM RUSSIA, WITH uE CES homer J. F. O'CONNOR 133
Wes AMSTERDAM —trovel REG POTTERTON 134
... AND THE GIRLS OF HOLLAND—pict = 136
THE HOLE IN THE BED—ribeld classic. х 149
EXECUTIVE CHESS—article HAL HIGDON 150
HIZZONER— personality. 5 -MIKE ROYKO 153
FFOLKES' INFFERNO Humer MICHAEL FFOLKES 154

JIMMY THE IO ii В. KUBAN 197

Ployboy Pod

DITIONALLY ASSIGNED FOR FUELICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES ANG AS SUBJECT TO PLATECY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO EDIT AND TO CONMEAT EDITONIALLY. CONTENTS COPY
RIGHT © 1971 BY нын PUBLISHING CO INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLAYBOY AND RADIT HEAD SYMBOL ARE MARKS CF ими FUELISHING CO. INC., REGISTERED U. $. PATENT OFFICE,
AND PLACES In THE FICTION AD SENIFICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY TEAL PEOPLE AND PLACES 15 PURELY COINCIDENTAL. CREDITS: COVER; MODEL PEGGY SMITH, PHOTOGRAPHY
эз. зв M. MILLS, P. 3-4. PAPPE. f 8495 (5); з SEED, P. 3: B. SEYROUR, P. 3,1. SILRACH, P. 3, V. SII, P. 2 fl WAL, P. өз, SA, 96-97 (4); ULT. Р. 143, A. URBA, P. 3

MUSTANG ‹

Like anything that lets you be
yourself.

It happens every time. Get into a
Mustang and something gets into you.

Is it because Mustang has more
rooflines than all its competitors?

A choice of six different engines?

Or is it because Mustang offers so
many options to select from—so many
ways to make it uniquely, totally
personal?

Is it something simple, like an
instrument panel that gives you

organized information for a change?
Is it the proud new profile of
this Mach I? Is it the NASA-type
hood scoops and competition
suspension you get at no extra cost?
No. Mustang is more. It’s greater

than the sum of its paris. Ibs some-

thing you have to discover. Like
yourself.
Your Ford Dealer will help you
make Mustang an original creation.
Ford gives you better ideas. (A
better idea for safety: Buckle up.)

PLAYBOY

Announcing Command
Protein Hair Thickener.

(It actually thickens thin hair.)

It thickens thin Hair. It gives fine hair
body. It makes thinning hair look
thicker. Its unique protein formula ac-
tually builds hairup...adds noticeable
fullness. It controls hair naturally with-
out oil, without grease. New Com-
mand Protein Hair Thickener. It does
what it says.

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
editor and publisher

A. €. SPECTORSKY
associate publisher and editorial director

MICHAEL DEMAREST executive editar
ARTHUR PAUL arl director
JACK J. KESSIE managing editor
VINCENT T. TAJIRI photography editor

EDITORIAL
SHELDON WAN, MURRAY FISHER, NAT L3
sistant managing editors

ARTICLES: ARTI R KRETCHMER editor,
yup nin ri associate editor
FICTION: vomit. MACAULEY edilor, SUZANNE
NCNEAR, STANLEY PALEY assistant editors
SERVICE FEATURES: том Owrx modern
diving editor. ROGER WIENER, RAY ui
assistant editors; ROBERT L, GREEN fashion
director. DAVID VAN Lok fashion editor,

DAVID PLATT assistant editor:

p RION associate travel editor;
THOMAS ммао food & drink editor

STAFF: FRANK M. KOIINSON, CRAIG VETTER ми
writers: un FENWICK, WILLIAM J.
HELMER, LAWRENCE LINDERMAN, GRETCHEN

MC NEESE, ROBERT J. SHEA, DAVID STEVENS,

DAVID STANDISH, ROBERT. ANTON WILSON
associate editors: LAURA LONGLEY BARB,

DOUGLAS BAUER, LEE NOLAN, GEOFFREY N
JAMES SPURLOCK assisiant edilors; J. PM
GETTY (business c finance), NAT nENTOEE
MICHAEL LAURENCE, RICHARD WARREN LEWIS,
REN W. PURDY. JEAN SUEPIERD. KENN
TYNAN, зема Севин contributing editors
COPY: ARLENE Bouras editor,

STAN AMBER assistant editor

RICHARD м, КОРЕ administrative editor
PATRICIA PAPANGELIS Fights & permissions
MILDRED ZIMMERMAN administialive assistant

ART
M. MICHAEL SISSON executive assistant:
TOM STAFBLER associate director: RONALD
UME, non POST, KFRIC POPE, ROY MOODY,
LEN WILLIS, CHET SUSKI, JOSEPH PACZEK
assistant directors; MICHELLE URRY
associate cartoon editor; VICTOR
HUBBARD, KAREN YOPS ar] assistants

PHOTOGRAPHY

RIY CHAMBERLAIN, ALFRED DEBAT. MARILYN

GRAKOWSKE associate edilors: JEFFREY COHEN,

assistant editor; NIL ARSENAULT,

DAVID CHAN, DWIGHT HOOKER, POMPEO

POSAR, ALENAS URSA staf] photographers:

eat IRI associate staf! photographier;

MIKE COTHARD photo fab chief; LEO N

color chief: MCE BERKOWITZ chief stylist.

PRODUCTION

JOHN. Masiro dircclor: ALLEN VARGO

manager; FLEANORE WAGNER, RITA JOIINSON,
1/ABETH. FOSS. GERRIT HUNG ue

READER SERVICE
INET PILGRIM director: CAROLE сили: mgr.

IRMAN

MAN,

CIRCULATION
MAIN WIEMOLD subscription. manager;
VINCENT THOMSON newsstand manager

ADVERTISING

HOWARD w, LEDERER advertising director

XORERT s. PREUSS
business manager and associate publisher

PLAYBOY, March 1971, Vol. 1. N 1
Published mouthly by HMH Publishing
Company Ine., Playboy Building

919 North
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60011.

already like
) Bacardi one

оу LABEL

GHT-Day Since you

chances dre
youll like it
all ways. {

What yau find so easy to likein o

Daiquiri is justas easy ta like i:

a screwdriver, with tonic or on. > ч
rocks. You see, Bacardi rum is ~ —

smooth ond light. And it hos o very ly

subtle flovor that's dry not sweet. >

In fact, Bacardi is so d it makes great a »
martinis. So use Bacardi light rum the way —

you use gin or vodka. And you like it right

ES off, Another woy.

zi BACARDI.rum-the mixable one

Pete Maravich 196
His hair was still wet behind the ears.

Pete Maravich 1971.

Introducing Vitalis Dry Control.

Sure. Years ago, Pete Maravich wet his
hair down with oils, grease and water. Most
guys did back then. .

Butthis is 1971. And Pete knows better.

Today he likes his hair dry. No oils. No
grease. No water.

So he combs his hair casual. And he
knows it'll stay that way with new Vitalis
Dry Control.

Dry Control is a different kind of hair

groom. It's a spray that keeps your hair in
place without slicking it down. It's dry. It's
casual. And it's natural.

In fact, it's even more than natural. It's
supernatural. Because you know it's there...
but you just can't see it.

And that's what most guys want today.
Unless theyre still wet behind the ears.

The Supernatural.

You know it's there, you just can't see it.

What do 4.
you want, I want to
good
grammar or
good taste?

1.
Winston tastes
good like a
cigarette should.

Bi-plane, why not buy a pack of make it right with specially proc-
Winstons. Winston may not say it — essed|FILTER BLEND“ tobaccos.
bz 9 — — mn]

DEAR PLAYBOY

EJ оо: PLAYBOY MAGAZINE « PLAYBOY BUILDING, 512 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

THE UNMAKING OF A MUSCOVITE
William F. Buckley's report on Mos

cow, A Million and One Nights in Soviet
Russia (ptavnoy, December 1970), is one
of the most sciniill and illuminating
pieces I've ever sce this melancholy
subject, and one that reinforced my dee
ades long nondesire to visit Soviet Russia
or any part thereof

Reuben Maury

Chief Editorial Writer

The News

New York, New York

What is there to say except that Bill
Buckley's piece was delightful to read and,
indeed, a work of art—if you define a
work of art as something made out of
nothing by sheer observation, im mation,
allectionateness and wit. In effect, the
author was faced with a nonevent, a can-
led occasion, since the Russian Commit-
tee had decided it was a good time to slam
the door in Uncle Sam's face. In addition
to having а nonevent to report, Buckley
was popped by the same Committee
which failed to keep him out altogether—
imo a stringently maintained vacuum.
bottle, for it is surely obvious that the job
of those Ninas and Violas and whoevers
was to keep him surrounded, keep him
from meeting people and exchanging real
inform
things. They'd have pumped the air out of
that boule if they could have, For him
1 ged, despite all these hand
caps, to tell so much and so
story, so unbelievably without a taint of
malice in circumstances that would most
certainly have justified it, is some kind of
Hemingway high of reportage, I'd say

Sophie Wilkins
Editor

Borzoi Books

New York, New York

tion with them and really seeing

ve mi

amusing a

Bill Buckley sure used the Damascene-
Buckleyan blade on the Russians, One
thought occurs—that, essentially, Russian
olficialdom is not primarily brutal, bigot-
ed and vicious, surely not subtle, but
simply, in the dictionary sense, childish,
A really smart people—say, the French
or the Spaniards—would know that ridi-

cule is the weapon that in the end will

slay communism, that the muzhiks who

poke around in the trash. and. swill for
mutilated copies of Solzhenitzyn or III
and Репоу will eventually belly-laugh
the humorless, absurd, bureaucratic cari
catures to death, That is what Cervantes
proved in Don Quixote about the Age ol

Chivalry—namely, diat when the com
mon folk begin to laugh, the circus is up.
Robert Moses
New York, New York
4 consultant in state- and municipal.
planning affairs throughout the U.S.
Robes Moses will be remembered as
president of the 1961-1965 New York
World's Fais and consolidator of New
York City's park and parkway systems.

Frank Shakespeare and Henry Loomis
{director and deputy director of USIA
join me in a that Buckley's obser
id compas

cing
is are witty, perceptive
sonate.

Kempton B. Jenkins

Assistant Director

United States Information
Agency

Washington, D. C.

ALL OUR YESTERDAYS

There are few wiiters today who have
the "common touch," but of those who
do, Richard Brautigan is far and away the
best. Liltle Memoirs (ptavwoy, December
1970) managed lo be both touching and
evocative without being saccharine, Those
of us who were kids dining World War
Twe

tires, Ше mountains of wastepaper and the

nd wei

responsible for the old

oceans of discarded cooking grease—all
dutifully saved. as part of our efforts to
spit may
remember it only vaguely. But Brautigan
remembers it very well, indeed; I am in

ight in der Führers face

his debt for the warm glow of nostal

that I felt after reading his piece.
Simon Porter
New York, New York

Some years ago, І was drinking cof.
fee at the |
Francisco's Haight-Ashbury and was intro
duced to a slender fellow whose
tache and oversized hat had just about an
equal droop. He was а poet, our mutu:
friend said, but so was everybody else on
the street. The poet and 1 shook hands

Thou coffechouse in San

mus-

PLAYBOY

and ignored each other. It
mecting him again in the pages of your
Decembe The two pages of Little
Memoirs were well worth the price of
the entire magazine—and equal to any-
thing that was published in In Watermel-
on Sugar or Trout Fishing in America.
Halloween in Denver struck me partic-
ularly as vintage Brautipan—slim, taut
prose, as beautiful in its way as the
Golden Gate Bridge and practically
tough.

pleasure

issu

Richard O'Farrell
Los Angeles, California

For an economy of words, Richard
Brautigan is just about the best going—
the man writes prose haiku. Corporal
was a nice bit of nostalgia. The Literary
Life in California! 1964 was а humorous
piece with a surprising—in a literary
sense—twist ending, but Halloween in
Denver was pure diamond. Hilariow:
bittersweet, charming (im the classic
sense). “I looked down at her and she
looked up at me and our eyes met in
laughter, but it wasn't too loud, because
suddenly we weren't at home. We were
in Denver, holding hands at a street
corner, waiting for the light to change.”
Writing prose may be. as somebody once
expressed it, a compulsion, but writing
poetry is a gift of God

Malcolm Roberts
Detroit, Michigan

NOTE: THE UNDEKGKUUND

Jacob man The International
Comix Conspiracy. (v.,. December
1070) was very timely and extremely
accurate, What 1 liked best about Brack-
man's piece was that he didn't underesti-
mate the political power and polemical
Influence of these artistic mind-zaps. Too
n people think of these books as
idiotic pornographic pop objects, which
they're not. It’s quite obvious that every-
where, especially in arcas where political
consciousness has not developed at an
average rate, kids (like myself, I'm a teen
ager) would much rather dig on a Zap or
a Bijou than on boring M

ented books.

Mansfield, Olio

Brackman sa
nile mur adjustment
10 the overstimulation of horror comics."
To claim ih I ever said that is non-
sense. It is erecting a straw who
supposed to have made ridiculous stat
nts, so that he сап be knocked down.
ote in Seduction of the Inno-
cent was entirely different. 1 found that
the excess of violence and brutality in
edia, of which comic books arc
now only a minor part, can have an
adverse effect on immature minds and

buted juve-

mass

cum be a contributing factor—no more
to different kinds of maladjustment.
ious factors interact and affect i
pressionable minds. My conclusions a
ed on careful clinical studies that
п confirmed by leading behav-
as the new se
х are concerned, they
belong to a very different area. Their
very crudity and utter vulgarity will by
themselves prove self-defeating in the
long run.

Fredric Wertham, M. D.
New York, New York

I greatly enjoyed Jacob Brackman’s
article on the comics. 1 always felt the
medium got a royal screwing fiom self-
serving censors and kiddie protectors
who took the guts out of it. Now, at long
last, Bob Crumb and cohorts are revers-
ing the process with some screwi
their own. Some of their stuff is brilli;
some of it is lousy—but all of it is fice of
death-dealing censorship. And, as alway
happens in matters of this sort, the good
stuff will thrive and the bad will disap-
pear. It is about time 10 give comics a

chance to become an adult art form.
Movies did it. Why not comics?

АТ Jaffe

Mad Magazine

New York. New York

As Mad-dicts know, Jaffee is responsi

ble jor much of the well-loved nonsense
that appears in those pages.

When the underground. comix suffer
reased circulation, they will subse-
quently be watered down. R. Crumb
enjoys freedom in doing his thing be
cause he is not directly stepping on any
big pocketbooks. Like all artists, he is
allowed to make his most truthful state-
ment before he is discovered by the
masses, or. in the vernacular of the estab-
lishment, until he becomes a "success.
Bob Montan
Meredith, New Hampshire
Montana is the creator of Archie, Jug-
head and crew.

With the birth of the underground
comix, whole new creative vistas 1
opened up for cartoonists, Inst
conforming to the Comics Code
ground publishers have devised a rating
system, much like the rating system used
by the motion-picture industry in this
country. All underground comix are X.
rated and clearly state "Adults only" on
their covers. Now comic books again en
joy the same freedom from censorship as
novels amd motion pictures. People are
shocked by underground comix because
for the past 15 years, under the Comi
Code, comix haven't been allowed to
communicate with adult readers. Today's
comix reflect the same moral atmosphere
that is reflected in today’s novels and
movies. But movies and navels—unlike
comics—have been allowed the

freedom

to make I transition from what
they were in the Fifties to what they are
now. Until the underground comix began
publishing, comics were stifled. Compar-
ing a pre-1953 issue of Two Fisted Tales
Comics with Bijou Funnies is а lot like
comparing the motion picture Singin’ in
the Rain with Myra. Breckinridge. As co-
publishers of Bijou Funnies, Skip Wil-
liamson and I have received a pile of
letters from cartoonists who worked on
comic books in the Forties and Fifties.
Their joy at the advent of the unde:
ground coi seems to be unanimous.
Jay Lynch
Bijou Publishing Empire, Inc.
шо, line
Lynch's is the head behind Nard ‘n
Pal, an ever-popular underground-comix
duo.

Brackman says, "A Comics Code Au.
thority. controlled bv the КУ who
publish Archie, pressured national distrib-
utors into dropping comics that lacked
Their own censor's Seal of Approval:
Apparently, the equation. resulted. from

the simplistic deduction that 1
publisher of Archie comics and also
president of the Comics Magazine. Asso

of which the Comics
is a component.

But the C. M. A. A., from the time of its
organization, in 1954. to the present day.
has consisted of more than 80 percent of
all publishers of с nes in the
United States. Does it make sense thar
competing publishers would submit con-
wol of the contents and distribution of
their publications 10 a single competitor?

10 is equally absurd to state that the
Comics Code Authority pressured nation-
al distributors into dropping comics that
ked the Code Authority's Scal of Ap.
proval. Even Brackman must know that
such action would have subjected the
Code Authority. the C. M. A. А. and its
members to antitrust, restraint of-trade
action by tlie Government or by publish-
ers who were denied distribution. The
that those publishers who have
ned the C. М.А А. and have not
ted in its selfregulation program
in national distri-
bution for their comics publications.

John L. Goldwater

President

Comics Magazine Association
of America, Inc.

New York. New York

Brackman replies: “After the Кеја
Committee hearings on the horrors of
comics, Goldwater helped formulate. the
plan by which most comics publishers
agreed do regulate themselves. He denies
thal the C. M. A. A. от any of ils members
applied ‘pressure’ (through magazine dis
tributors or otherwise) against comics that
violated the Code’s guidelines. He would
like us 10 believe that they simply passed
into sudden public difavor and disap-
peared from the newsstands. The truth ix

n of Ame
Code Authorit

particiy
have continued to obt

Anything over two fingers is excessively generous. `‘ Head ofthe Bourbon Гатау

PLAYBOY

that screws were turned —nothing illegal,
but ‘pressure.’ Goldwater was on the
front lines of the battle to save American
youth from all sorts of corruptions. But
he wasn’t merely а disinterested moral
watchman, As publisher of the inoffensive
(unreal, unimaginative) Archie, he stood
10 gain from the curtailment of his far-
out competitors (such as William Gaines,
who al that tine published the E. C. hor-
ror line, as well as Mad). Goldwater would
like us to believe that there wasn't any-
thing like censorship in the comics field,
but there was, and it worked. For more
than ten years, it look a daring publisher
to go up against the Code."

POET AND PRIEST
ad your December 1970 Robert
werview with much interest, I
shane his liking for Queens and his dislike
of free sex and of drug abuse. Those por-
tions of his testimony seem to me sound;
other matters, he strikes me as slightly
daft but seldom dull. An Englishwoman
once said to me, “The trouble with Robert
Graves's religion. is that theres nobody
n it.” Now it appears that some “hopeful
young people” in California are conduct-
ing wildwood celebrations of the White
Goddess, Graves regards such activity
as a rejection of Californian values. I
am afraid. that it sounds all too Califor
nian to me. It's perfectly all right that
he doesn’t think there’s been any good
poetry in America since Frost and Cum-
nings. I expect he reads little of our
мий, amd why should he? Graves is one
of the best poets going, and should sive
his time for writing. Let lesser people be
well informed.
Richard Wilbur
t of. English
versity
Middletown, Connecticut
A wellknown poet himself, Wilbur is
the author of "Loudmouse" and “Walking
to Sleep

It has been evident for a long time to
those who enjoy Graves's work as a poet
that, as critic and self-appointed sage, he
ad very little to offer. The poet in
aves is, for the most part, canny
ough to keep a tight rem on the
evidently suong impulses tempting the
man to self-display: his best poems show
powers of self-criticism. But the desire to
shock and dazzle, to acquire а popular
audience without forfeiting his cherished

betrayed him in much of h
prose into making many merely eye-
catching gestures, The more blatant the

contempt he shows for evidence, logic

nd consistency, the more delighted he
appears; he might also be emulating
McLuhan.

Most of Graves's opinions seem to be no
more than good conversational gambits

to liven up a party; few of them stand
up to examination. His expla
things by racial o

German ancestor helps him to ш
stand the Germans (though one, he is
careful to imply, born before the evil
forces took hold of German life de-
ives from a 19th Семшу fiction and
s just about everything still to ex-

ly, it is sad to see Graves succumb-
ing to the blandishments of discipleshi
to sce someone who once disclaimed any
ambition to set up the White Goddess lor
worship—who had ng realism about
her—now looking kindly on some young
people in California who have taken hi
book The White Goddess “as their
Bible.”

Professor M. C. Kirkham
University of Toronto
West Hill, Ontario
Professor Kirkham edited. “Poetry of
Robert Graves."

Graves s

ems to me to be getting away
with murder, but I like him for it. His
technique is to give and to tike away in
the same breath. He is with the past but
wants to throw it away. He is on the side
of youth but condemns lots of their mo-
ташу. We necd a Jide bit more of this
kind of confusion and he certainly pro-
vides it in the interview. If someone like
me, from that middle gene
fesses 10 detest, were 10 tell
rounding poets to get with the “
history of the English language
throw in a litle Latin, too,
laughed at; but Irom Gravess mystic
fastnesses, he can say the most conservative
things about literature and still have
people worshiping his White Goddess in
California. All power to him.

Reed Whittemore
Literary Editor
The New Republic
Washington, D. C.

n he pro-
ihe su
ole

SHARING A SECRET

T was most taken with Dan Blocker's
fine piece of fiction, The Best-Kept Secret
(rrAvnov, December 1970), because of its
charm, its look at a certain Jong-gon
America (or is it really long-gone?),
insight into people and, above all, its
absolute honesty. But I sure as hell
was't surprised—not by any of it. My
own “best-kept secret” is that Dan Blocker
is every bit as much of a genius as ole
Doc Woods was in the story, and maybe
сусп morc. Perhaps not as а writer, be-
cause it takes more than even one good
story to be certain of that, but absolutely
without qualification as an actor. I wrote
the part of Hoss Cartwright with Dan
Blocker in mind, having seen him do his
stuff on The Restless Gun. No other actor
ld (and I've seen them all)
e done more with a part, or for

a television series, than. this great, com-
passionate, gende giant of а man from
Te

David Dortort

Burbank. California

Dortort is executive producer of “Bo-
nanza” and “The High Chaparral.”

WATCHING THE WASTELAND
I would like to make one additional
point that wasn't touched upon in my
ticle, The Wasteland Revisited (PLAYMOY,
December 1970).
Television i
veyor of pi
women in the country. It tells women,
You've come а long way. baby," and
then portrays women who buy their
Kitchen detergents from little gremlins,
who order their deanser from knights on
white horses riding through their gar
dens and who need a “man from Glad
to help them wrap food in plastic
Television—in programs and commer-
cials alike—has consistently t
en as sex objects 10 be manipulated,
rather than as whole persons. With the
urging of television, nine-year-old girls are
Iready being sold the sex-ohject image
und $2,000,000 worth of brassi
nually, When we are told that *
are like women, the best ones are thin
and rich.“ we have about summed up
television's attitude.
Nicholas Johnson
Commissioner
Federal Communications Commission
Washington, D. C.

icd wom-

Nicholas Johnson's article on what's
h television really makes a per-
son stop and think and th 1 think.
"Ehe majority of people who turn ihe tube
oll should heed his call and do something
constructive about removing the many
sed views expressed on television. It is
ta flip olf a switch, but it is difficult
nd bothersome to correct a social prob-
lem. Undoubtedly, we are headed toward
a TV revolution; but how long will it
for people to realize that they ane bei
brainwashed by a small group of individ
s (namely, network executives)? Il.
Johnson states. the majority of Americans
are turning their sets off, they are still led
to believe that they are a minority
tually, this majority must demand to have
onesidedness removed from the tube.
Ler's begin right now by telling it like it
‚ for this is the only way we can remedy
our plight.

са

ven-

Richard W. Hopson
St. Louis, Misour

A tip of d a must go to Mr.
Johnson for his fortitude in attempting
to buck the strangle hold that the net
works and their executives hold on the
American people. As a member of the
broadcast-news community, I can under.
stand what troubles Johnson, since li

Н
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PLAYBOY

troubles are those of myself and my col-
leagues. Information, as he says, is today
repeated, not reported, even by those
commercial stations that “quasi-investi-
gate” stories. More and more Americans
e being inundated with facts without
being made more knowledgeable. Our
country continues 10 hurtle along at a
breakneck pace, without looking behind
to sce what it has done, The communica-
tions industry must help. Maybe Nick
Johnson can become its Ralph Nader.
Robert Steinhardt
Director of
New York Radio WNYU
New York, New York

Alter reading Johnson's article. I have
two questions: How did this man sm

into the Nixon Adm ion and what
сап we do to keep lı

ARS GRATIA POPULI

Congratulations on your pictorial Maul-
tiple-Choice Art (pLAYBoy, December
1970), which included an assemble-it-your-
self art construction. T could hate you for
giving away the Ernest Trova piece, how-
ever. We labored for over sis months 10
produce our lowest priced multiple (85
retail) and it doesn’t even have a center
fold. We do have a philosophy though:
am for the sake of people, Oh, well, back
to the drawing hoards

Hugh Abramson
President
International. Polygonics

New York, New York

‘LIGHTENING EXPLOSION
Thank you for the Masters Johnson ar-
сіс Ten Sex Myths Exploded (vi.sywov,
December 1970). Their calm presentation
of historical evidence and medical fact
should aid even those good folk still hold-
ing mucddle-minded prejudices. With ten
deas under discussion, Fin sure that on at
least one question or so, every reader was
in need of such aid—or, perhaps, just
reassurance,

Fred Buzzerd
Wheaton, M

yland

I wish to make an addendum to Ten
Sex Myths Exploded regarding sex du
menstration, Being a medical student, 1
have studied the works of the great Jew
physician and philosopher Moses M.
monides, In опе of his works, On Poisons
and Their Antidotes. there is a discussion
of the poisonous quality of menstrual
blood. I: seems likely that this idea was
widespread belief in the medieval Near
Fast. Maimonides himself did not dispel
this belief, but he did comment that he
lacked any personal experience regarc
it and that he had included. it pri
for the reader's information. Possibly, u

belief was born i
ig comprchensibility to Frazer's

reference in The Golden Bough to the
Talmudic idea that а woman passing be-
tween two men at the beginning of her
period will kill one of them. In fact, it
may be one of the main reasons behind
the set of Judaic laws regarding menstrua-
hence possibly explaining Maimon-
ides reluctance to completely dispel the
idea in his writings.

Frank Greenberg

Rutgers Medical School

Piscataway, New Jersey

PRETTY PAULA

Your splendid photo layout. of Paula
chet (New-Model Model, ri Abr.
December 1970) was one of the finest and
most tasteful of its kind I have seen in
ттлувоу, My special compliments to pho-
tographer J. Barry O'Rourke. The pic
tines you selected have the aesthetic
qualities of а Maja—toudied with soul
—as well as being excellent studies of a

was precisely bec
her completely w ,
beautiful as anythi ture is beaut
ful—thae I cast he film I directed.
It is gratifying to find that PLAYBOY saw
her in the same w ad 1 seen your
pictures before completion of the movie, T
might have done certain scenes in a dif-
ferent way. Through по fault of you
title mentioned in. your text is an e
Adrift, the film's original title, has been
r 1 This. I hope. will be the la
of confusion in the melodramatic
troubled tale related to the making of
the film

Jan Kadar
New York, New York

LOVE IS FU?

With trepidation, I read The Star-
Crossed Romance of Josephine Comowski
(rrAvmov, December 1970), Jean Shep-
herd’s humor story about adolescent love.
І was afraid that it would be another
tasteless Polih * which would cn-
gender on my part another chauvinistic
defense of Poles and Poland. Happily,
Shepherd saved me the trouble, We need
more of such intellectual warmth
Jean Shepherd's, whose perspica
emancipated him from the stereorype of
the writer who can write only in terms of
stereotypes.

Bernard Pajewski
New Britain, Connecticut

QUOTE COMMENTS

Kudos for collecting some of the Nix-
on С hiful and heart-warming
remarks in Rend Us Asunder (PLAYBOY,
December 1970). I was amazed and
amused particularly with the quote from
Billy Graham, the official White House
theologian, Some so-called clergymen here
and there have the strange notion t
leading “radical” groups isn’t all that out-
rageous, Especially when the groups are
radical (firmly rooted) in the faith. The

faith has always had some heady things
to say about brotherhood, and caring for
the oppressed, and war, and the dignity
of human life—and touchy things like
that, Now Billy tells us that we who are
so coveious of being called "Reverend"
certainly don’t get our titles from God.
Wow, what a decapitating blow! Since
Billy has always made it clear that, if
there has ever been any confusion be
tween him and God. it’s God who's been
mistaken: we so-called clergymen and our
adical followings are now deprived
of any legitimate point of reference,
ther human or divine. As with the other
profound. Nixon Gang

pressions, 1

гасе of that forbidden
ming the ovens about

30 years ago-
‘The Rev. Thomas E. Sagendort
Director

Flint, Michigan

Your December 1970 issue quotes me as
saying, “If people demonstrated in a
manner to interfere with others, they
should be rounded up and put in a
detention camp." Once again. I feel com-
pelled to deny absolutely and unequive:
cally the accuracy of this quotation. I did
not think the thought implicit in those
words: and I did not use those words in
public or private discussion.

The quotation first appeared in the
May 1969 issue of Atlantic, in an article
by Mrs, Elizabeth B. Drew. On April 26,
1969, the very day the Department of
Justice learned of the contents of Mrs
Drew's article, the Justice Department's
Public Information Office issued. my ur-
gent statement. that: “I never suggested
putting anyone in detention camp . . .
there has never been any consideration
the Justice Department for the estab-
lishment of detentio student

camps fo

demonstrators. or amy other kind of
demonstrator.”
The Nixon Administration has never

discussed the use of detention camps for
political demonstrators. The possibility is
inconceivable. 1 specifi
cally and publicly asked for the repeal
of the Emergency Detention Ла of 1950
to allay any fears or suspicic 1
unfounded they may be—that
move is contemplated, Havin
and sud it repeatedly. it is not fair. it
seems to me, 10 permit a contrary. infer-
ence about Government policy to exist
merely because of a single one-scntence
state mistakenly attributed to me
during the course of a private interview.
Richard G. Kleindienst
Deputy Auorney G
Washington, D. C.

ла, we

said this

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PLAYBOY

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PLAYBOY

AFTER HOURS

eve often thought there should be

hustler’s hall of fame. If there were,
we'd expect to find in it most of the ace
con artists Barry Rosenberg discussed in
his article last April—bandits like Min-
cso Fats, Bobby Riggs and Titanic
"Thompson. But there would have to be
а corner in this museum for the little
guys: the unsung, unknown masters of
is or that streetcorner shell game who
come upon other peoples money like
inllation—taking it quickly and

and then disappearing. "Eheir gam
it сап be anything—is always beautifully
designed. to weight the odds in their

favor. Their tilent is usually offbeat or
unlikely enough that the sucker doesn't
suspect until its 100 late that he's taken
а gentle shellacking.

A friend of ours recently shared with
us a story about опе of these anonymous
hustlers, who we think is a candidate for
honors. Not surprisingly. he didn’t catch
his assailant’s name, but as for his cog-
nomen, it has to be The Speller. Our
friend had taken a i of un hour's
bicak from his morning appointments
New York to visit the Museum of Mod-
са
a cab in Поп. of the museum for a
ten-block ride through Manhattan's һе:
nooutime waffic The cabby, a big
with a dassic Brooklyn accent. asked,
“Where t02," got his answer. pulled slow.
ly into the line of cars on 33rd Street and
then said over his shoulder, "Whadda ya
do fer a livin?"

n in pub

hing.” was the answ
‘Oh, yeah? That's great. Say, vou must
know how ta spell pretty good, huh?”
And he looked into the rearview mirror
10 watch his passenger's eyes

“My spelling is fine, nothing extraor-
dinary, but all right,” said our friend.

“Well, listen. T got a little game I like
ta play
passi time in n
What 1 do e ya a койа, and
if ya can spell it ya ride fer fre
ya can't. ya pay double the mee
lis just fer fun, make
know?

Our friend sa
Aw, come on, yer a perfessional, it's

no.

ver business, fer ch
fun. Hell. yer fare's
or so. What's ta lose!
"Foo many nooks amd corners in the

sakes. des just fer
оппа be a buck ten

English lan said our fr
Chances ave just too high that you've
got a word Гуе never even heard. I'm

ot that confident.”

"Jeez. buddy." The tone from the
front seat was becoming one of exagger-
ated disgust. "I mean. it's not like you
was a plimba or somethin’. Ya got edu
cation. 1 mean, you woik with woids,
Look, | won't give ya a hard one. Come
on.” The cab had stopped for a red light
and the driver took the opportunity to
turn ound for his answer

"No. I don't like the odds.”
friend.

The driver slumped, turned. back, and
the cab stated off again, There was a
half minute's silence and then he said,
“OK, awright, liten, You don't wanna
play, that’s yer privilege, its OK. But I
gotta passa ume in this Cab. Just have
some fun, ya know. So PIL tell уа what,
vou give me a woid. Any мой ya want
И 1 can't spell it, ya vide fre
ya pay faw times da теста, Aw

1 don't know.”
Aw, со

said our

you kiddin’? Ya jus

got trew tellin” me how goddamn roi
de odds was.” The voice was
You

wary now.
gimme any woid ya want. Watsa
witchoo? а dumb
game, Ya won't play it one way and ya
won't play it de udda. Christ!
i innerestin’ job, right, but y
hackin'—I mean 1 have ta play little
games like dis to keep me from goin’
crazy. Unnerstan? Fm willin' ıa take a
chance ou losin’ my money just so's I
t bored ta deat’. So's 1 don't beat
dy when I get home. Sce what 1

Its a

Чоп"

my old
mean?”

ТАП right, all right. D have a word,
said our friend.

“OK” bb
reports that his tone changed at that
that of

said the and our friend

precie moment to a refera
“Awright,” he said. “Numba one, no
proppa numba two, no fore

woids; numba tree, in case of any beefs,

mes:

Websta’s Sevent is de
autority.”
At which point he reached ov

opened the glove compartment and took
out a dog cured copy of the dictionary
He set it on the scat next to him and
said, “Awright, let's have it."
“Synecdoche,” said our friend.

The cabby's hand instantly went up in
the air, forefinger extended. Syncc-
doche.” he repeated, pronouncing the

word perfectly (si-NEK-duh ki). Then he
strung the letters out one at a tîme,
"S-Y-N-E-C-D-O-C-H-E.
He dropped his hand onto the wheel,
eyes on the traffic, and said, "Hell, T ain't
hoid dat woid in years. I a Чоогу.”
Our friend got ош of the cab in the
100 block of Madison Avenue and hand
ed а five-dollar bill to the driver, who

tipped his cap. "See ya," he said, aud
drove off.
Some time ago. you may recall, a

tongue-in-cheek suggestion was made that
а newspaper consisting entirely оГ good
news would enjoy а wide readership. And
sequently, it was said, Mickey (Ted)
Agnew took the jape seriously. and con-
curred that such a publication should
indeed do well. We tended епа we
do now—to agree with the Vice-President
(itself newsworthy, perhaps), but we fo

see one major stumbling block should
such a venture ever be launched. The
proble 1 the tacit assumption

(which has no basis in reality whatever)
that good news is the same for everybody.
Well, not so: clearly not so. For example,
we recently read that Doris Day, that
ambulatory pickle jar of entrenched
wholcsomeness, had skunked the Internal
Revenue Ser t of S4 no
funny business deals over a four-year
period. More recent ad that
N own hand-picked committee to
investigate student. dissent had. come up
with a report concedi

хоп

that, indeed, stu-
dents had a Jot to disent about—to the
consternation of. Government hardliners.
who had been all set to make points
with thc Silent Majority based on wl

n
they were sure would be an anti-sudent

PLAYBOY

report. To us, these bits of news were
bright spots on а darkening horizon of

onal amd international events—except
for a twinge of regret that the IRS

has scored against anyone. But we must
acknowledge that there are many people
(non-reaynoy readers all) who would not
gree with us. Us just one more bit of
evidence that polarization. permeates all
ispects of our lives, Perhaps, im these
dichotomized times, what's needed is two
good-news newspapers—or, more likely, an
honest, free press that reports all the news
without fear or favor, so all may cheer or
weep, as their inclinations move them.

The Chicago Daily News reports that
а local man kept recei
subscription-renewal notices [rom a trade
magazine. In desperation, he wrote
veCEASED on the envelope of а finakfinal
motice and returned it to the sender.
Brow: h the magazine several
weeks Titer, he found his name listed
in its “Deceased” column.

Our Good Old Days Award goes to the
800 fellows at Cornell University who
staged a panty raid on a coed dorm.
“The nostalgia was unbearable,” said
Sergeant James Cunningham of the
school's police. “The tears were practical-
ly running down my check

A Reuters news report out of Rio de
Jeneiro could canceivably take Salem—
and every other cigarette—out of the
country for good. Three top Brazilian
ad that non-
smokers enjoy a more intense sex lile,
because cigarettes poison the nervous sys-
tem and impair performance. That's the
best reason we've heard yet for kicking
the habit.

medical specialists have fo

Sign of the Times: Dolton, Illinois’
Sandridge Methodist Church recently
sported а large psychedelic sign reading
ms PLAC

Nobody has been able to prove conciu-
sively that sex films are therapeutic, but
owners of Manchester, England's Tatler
h showed а пае movie
not long ago—are still looking Гог who-
ever lelt behind a wheelchair after a
recent show.

105 а good thing that the Supreme
Revolutionary Council of Somalia, Ab
са. abolished the tribal bloodmouey sys
tem before women's lib found out about
it. Under the system,

yenerable form

of war reparation. prevalent in Africa,
ibes paid 100 camels to the oppo:
for every male warrior killed in baule.

The going price for ladies bumped. off
along the way was only 50 camels.

mingtable prizes awarded at the
annual, black-tie МАШ balla heavy-

weight

Hollywood charity benefiting
overseas orphans—customarily include
fur coats automobiles, color-television
sets and refrigerator-freezers donated. by
local merchants, Hollywood Reporter
columnist Hank Grant undoubtedly
boosted attendance by publicizi
the more exotic prizes to be l
at last year's ball—an alles
divorce, donated by а Beverly
attorney.

Before man ever learned to blow,
suck. scrape or pluck, he learned to
ng.” From a slang history of sex? No
— just the lead sentence in a Music Busi-
ness Weekly article on drums.

An educational-newsletter report on
New York's Street Academy Program—in
which concerned teachers comb ghetto
neighborhoods to induce dropouts 10 re-
turn to school—straightfacedly stated,
Nearly 50 streetwalkers are affiliated
h the program, more than half work-
the public schools.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police
crimedeteaion lab in Edmonton, Alber-
ta, employs а man to analyze mariju:
His name, believe it or not, is Joynt,

We don't know the hourly rates, but
there's a place in Logan, Utah, called the
Balling Motel.

g N

BOOKS

‘The advance blurbs for James Jones's
The Mery Month of May (Delacorte)
claim that it's "about" the 1968 student /
worker upheavals in France. Actual
is about another kind of disruption
and its ellects, of

the

sexual self-indulge
an American Family living in Paris—with
the revolution de mai as background.

Harry Gallagher is а serceawriter having
an affair with a scornful black woman
named Samantha-Marie, whe happens to
leich for Gallagher's virtuous
wife. Gallagher's son, Hill, is a student
of cinema at the Sorbonne and every [ew
pages or so he demonstrates his radical
ism by calling everything either crap or
crud. When he learns about his father
and Samantha-Marie, whom he also lusts
alter, he joins the rock throwers in the
streets; Meanwhile, Gallagher's good wile
decides to appoint herself surrogate
mother to Samantha-Marie and the up
shot of this is, yes, that the two end up
in bed together. Following ihat, Gall.
gher's no-longer-virtuous wife throws he
self at the narrator, the family’s be:
friend, who tries to calm her: “Louisa,
you're distraught.” This narrator, Jona
than James Hartley HI, purportedly the
editor of a literary review, bears the
burden of Jones's style: "Sex, while un-
ant, and not something to

have

be avoided, always seemed to me some-
thing that the pursuit of cost a great deal
more energy than the final results were
worth." Whew. In the end, Hill. his youth.
ruined for unspecified reasons, retreats to
а cave in Spain, clutching his T Ching,
while Jonathan James Hanley II, а
moral jellyfish like most of the characters
in this novel, mutters that if only hc had
gone to bed with his best friend's wile
Jong ago. when he had the chance, things
might not have gone sour. The Merry
Month of May is contrived, naive and

highly readable, and will probably m:
its author big bread. But those who have
admired his carlier works may wish

Jones would reread them before begin-
ning his next book.

The New York Times's Fred Graham
is the preeminent journalistic interpreter
of the Supreme Court, His profound
understanding of the High Court and its
role in the American constitutional system
illumines The Self-Infiicted Wound ( Tacmil-
Ian). With his Inwyer’s eye for the rele-
vant, Graham uses the landmark decisions
of the Sixties (Mapp, Gideon, Escobedo,
Miranda, Wade, et al.) to take the reader
behind today's lnw-and-order rhetoric
reveal, step by step, in layman
guage, how and why the Cour, under
the leadership of Earl W: found
sell compelled to take the i
the reformation of law-enforcement
criminal justice procedures, what effects
this judicial revolution is likely wo have
on our society and how political and
public pressures to undo the revolution
have led to the constitutional crisis now
facing the Court s the
problem: At the very moment in our
history when the need to reform our
system of ай justice found the Su-
preme Court enlightened and co
enough 10 accept the task of giving
meaning to the Bill of Right
firming the Constitution’s promise of
equality for all Americans, a. mounting
wave of violent crime, racial tens
and urban unrest led а feavridden pub-
lic to resist the Court's leadership. If, as a
result of its embroilment in political and
judicial controversies, the Supreme Court
should now decline to stand as the sole
nd final guardian of the rights of the
dividual against the power of the state,
then we must all be prepared to answer
the question that lies at the heart of
am's book: "Who will police the
police if the Supreme Court has in fact

peers out at you
from jicketland, the very model of a
y cowboy. But behind the
stache and the glasses is a

Bulfal
cat who knows what he's about. Three of

Bill m

his most popular works of fiction. and
poetry—Toul Fishing in America, The
Pill Versus the Spring Hill Mine Dis
aster and In Watermelon Sugar—were

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released last y in a onevolume edi
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The music g and round Historical Romance 1966 (Simon & Schuster)

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Air and. sunshine flow in. Abortion is a
lopsided fable about a man who has left
the world 10 live in a special kind of
library in San Francisco, where “the un
маше

T stran

[he lyrical and haunted. volumes
of American writing" are br
their authors at every hour of da
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God; Leather Clothes and the History of
Мап: The Culinary Dostociski. Imo this
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body so spectacular that it has ruined
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She moves in with the no-name narrator
gets pregnant. They go to Tijuana for an
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|
ө Civil Disobedience (Dial). A lawyer who

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the knit tr el fh Amon Ch Li
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King—Friedman does not rule out vio-
lence. Not to challenge immoral laws,
to work only by peaceful methods of
democratic reform, often is not enough.
Those most strongly feeling the evil o£
the Law—the wise minority—are not pre-
pared to wait.” A weakness of his argu-
ment lies in his failure to examine fully
what the alternatives to violence might
have been in those instances where he
justifies a few n the pursuit of
redress for grievances. Aside
from a rather cavalier dismissal of the
sanctity of human life, Friedman's book
whose title is drawn from Thoreau—is
ating reminder of how many
ental reforms were sparked by
isobedience to the law.

“For Marion. who knows who she real-
ly is... / And for all of us, who are
trying to know who we really ave.” TI
is the dedication to Touching (Double-
day), Gwen Davis first novel since her
bestselling The Pretenders, and it sug-
gests at once the book's sensibility and its
subject. In Touching, Miss Davis, who
Abines old-fashioned romanticism with
contemporary concern, turns her attention
to that muclexplored but ever more
pervasive phenomenon: the group €
counter, High in the never-never hills of
California, the narrator, an unhappily
married feminist journalist, and her
riend Soralee—the book's real heroine
attend a nude marathon masterminded
by a part charlatan, part egomaniac, part
genuine sensitif. Dr. Simon Herford. As
the marathon proceeds through. progres-
sively more intense stages, narrator Mari-
on recalls in. flashbacks her relationship
with Soralee and the entangled
Soralee’s own life—the most striking of
which are her ironic relationship with an
1" young husband and a lover long
t youth. In Soralec, Miss Davis has
tempted to create a character of mythic
proportions—and she nearly succeeds.
But, ultimately, she extiausts the reader
by describing rather than distilling vi-
brancy, beauty and desirability almost
100 large for life—or, at least. for novels,
The details of the marathon, however—
with irs characters as beset as they are
believable, urbing incidents and
the critical eye tumed on the proceed-
a realism and candor that
ficult to put down.

idi
рг

t and by no means the least of
the great Hollywood tycoons is Darryl F.
Zanuck, virtually the only movie mogul
of legendary stature to retain control
of a major studio. Despite recent efforts
by Broadway's David Merrick to topple
inuck from his throne at Fox, D. Z. goes
on and on, still hanging in there as the
perennial wonder boy whose carcer dates

Tin epics and proceeds
ith mary a dull moment to Patton and
Tora! Tora! Tora! How Zanuck did

it and does it is told in a crackli
biography, Don’t Say Yes Until 1 Finish Tolk-
ing (Doubleday). In the spirit of u
title, author Mel Gussow tackles the
whole Zanuck sige never hard-selling
but conveying it with wit, cool insight
and casually punchy prose. Zanuck
doesn’t conform to the stereotype of
studio chief. He isn't Jewish, like most
of his colleagues were, but springs fro
America’s white-Protestant heartland,
Nebraska, where he apparently de-
veloped his own biand of chutzpah. Dur
ing one prodigious carly year as а writer
in Hollywood, he turned out 19 featur
length scripts. The rest is history, o
perhaps sustained hysteria, that depa
from the norm because of Zanuck’
markably varied i
d elephants in Africa, polishing hi
French in Paris, playing champions!
polo in and or cutthroat croquet on
his lawn with practically anyone who
could bear the heat of competition are
only a few of his pet diversions, He scoffs
at his reputation as one of moviedonrs
ightiest swordsmen, though CU.
knowingly explores Zamuck' celebrated
liaisons with Bella агї, Juliette Ca
Jaina Demick and his current Ge
Gilles. On the subject of his political
bedfellows, Gussow is pithy: "Hc usually
votes Republican and likes Presidents
whoever they ai anuck comes throu
as a personable, or at least understandably
human, hu —whidi helps to make
Don't Say Yes a bluczibbon entry in its
league.

As a writer, psychoanalyst and teacher,
Erik Erikson has greatly influenced. psy-
choanalytic thought in America and
other countries. Robert Coles, a. former
student. of s at Harvard and
himself a forceful writer and social ana-
lyst, has written an absorbing intellec
tual biography of this seminal thinker.
Erik Н. The Growth of His Work
(Boston-Liue, Brown) traces the оду
sey of this explorer of “history and lif
history” from Europe, where he knew
Freud and w уге by Anna Freud,
to America, where he has done his most
important work. In the process, much is
revealed of Erikson the man as well as of
his thoughts and teaching. Through Erik-
son's work with Sioux Indians, blacks,

Erikson:

students, diverse adolescents—as well as
with such figures as Candhi—there
emerges his basic contribution

be sid chat through his writings on the
subject of "identity: he accomplished the
single most important shift in direc
that psychoanalysis required if it was to
become at all useful for other disci-
plines.” Erikson focuses on the growth
through the various cycles of each ind
vidual's life, of an “ego identity . .. an
accrued confidence d ts from the
very first moment of lile but in the
second or third decades reaches а point

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of decisive substance, or indeed fails to
do so." ion of this struggle
for identity, and its interaction. with so-
cietal forces throughout a man's life, has
had ramifications in political science, so
ciology. anthropology, history and ethics,
By placing this mot the perspective
of both Erikson’s development and the
wellectual currents of his time, Coles
has provided much additional informa-
tion about the social and cultural history
of the century in America,
Europe It is a remarkable
achievement that should пос only send
the reader to such of Erikson's hooks as
Childhood and Society and Gandhi's
Truth but also back to Freud and then
to more of Coles’s own work.

The author or compilers of Genesis
gave less than a chapter to the story of
Abiaham’s feelings as he prepared to
sacrifice Isaac. Kierkegaard wrote a hook

it and now, in Рабат
Tom McHale has written a
bout it in the Phils.
Abraham has become
Arthur Farragan, a succesful Trish busi
nessman; his son is Simon, a draftdodg
ing hippie whom Arthur is commanded
to kill by the stand-ins for a dead God—
Arthur's alcoholic, 100 percent. American
siter, Anna, and his equally insane
brother. Nothing is very real or pleasant
about this second novel by the author of
Principato, but then the same is true
of the news we read, see and hear every
day. |t begins to be funny, amd very
funny indeed, when we realize that how-
ever many tongues McHale is gifted
with, they are alb in his cheek. The
Catholicism of the Farragans is superbly
us, all-American, un-Chri:
hilarious. Nor do oth
уз Emilio Serafina,
а Mafia figure being watched by a pair
of Federal agents: "Those two outside
are Protestants. You сап tell by their
haircuts.” Something ought to be said
about another aspect of the story—
which. to keep the Bib Hel.
might be called the Wrath of Sarah,
What did Sarah do when she heard what
Abraham had intended? The Bible docs
not admit the question, but. Muriel, the
mother of Simon in МеН.
a grand old time killin
ind driving her Avthu
cd t0 do all along
own head, the c

Retreat

delphia Trish idiom.

par

"s version,
g the killers
to what he want
put a bullet in his
ly deliverance from evil
he ever reaily believed in.

It used to be a commonplace among
dissenters that history is à tale written by
the victors, Now the victims are having
their say, For example, in No Mere Lies:
The Myth and the Reality of American History
(Harper & Row), Richard Claxton Greg
ory (otherwise known as Dick) has con-
structed his own adversary approach to

istoriography, With the help of editor

James McGraw, he knocks off some [a
Vote myths of American. history—the
Puritan Pilgrim, the Happy Contented
Slave, the Courageous White Settler, The
writing is idiomatic (some of it straight
from Dick's campus monologs) and, in its
маше of autobiography, historical n
rative and and contempor

lysis,
analogies, No More Lies could well make

history bulls out of the young
more substantial addition to the revision
ist artillery is the two-volume To Serve the
il (Random House), by Paul Jacol
d Saul Landau with Eve Pell. Volume

one is concerned with “Natives and
Slaves"—Indians, blacks and chicanos
volume is about “Colonials and
Sojourners” —Hawaiians, Јар

тезе and Puerto Ricans.” For each

ment, the authors provide an informative
prolog to a Ewscinating set of pr
source documents. The first black docu
ment is a 1771 Petition for Freedom. OL
mordan culturaLhistorical interest is an
1865 New York Times editorial fiercely
opposing any further admission to this
county of Chinese, with their “heathenish
habits and heathenish propensities.” А
long list of white marauders figures in Bury
My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian His-
tery of tho American West (Holt, Rinehart
& Winston). In this powerful and pain
ful book, Dee Brown, head librarian
at the University of Ilinois and an ex
pert on Western. American history. has
written, as he says. "a narative of the
conquest of the American West as thi
victims experienced it, using their own
words whenever possible.” Though the
book reads like skillful fiction, tragically.
Yellow Wolf of the Nez Peices
once said: “The whites told only one
side. Told it to please themselves. Told
much that is not trac. Only his own best
deeds, only the worst deeds of the Indi-
ans, пау the white man told,” That bal-

it is noi

ance is beginning to be righted.
Foremost, perhaps, of the many qual
ities and quirks of Norman Mailer is his

unpredictability. That's about all you сап
predict about him. Of a Fire on the Moon
(Little, Brown) began when he first
wended hi to the jour
market place. This is Mailers extended
account of the moon story, the flight
of Apollo 11, originally commissioned
by Life in a multifigure deal, Onctime
engineering student. Mailer attempts 10
explain the cosmic event in simple me-
anical terms, while practicing littérateur
le explore the simple
aphor

way listic

M
fact of the event for its cosmic me

attempts 10

(He finally sees it as a devilishly engi
peered triumph of square WASPitude.
Unfortunately, for most of the way, he

itle choice but to retell what most

shdown. And even though the Might
may have been epochal—and Mailer
docs provide some excellent color and

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background—reading his book is like
watching the rerum of an old football
game. Not even his interpolation of die
crack ub of his fou ge succeeds
im breathing life and iacy into
what must finally be writen off as a
rather ill-fated launch. But then M
more than most. is entitled to his otca-
sional abort

t are

Among the things of life tl nor-
moudy hard 10 believe is that P. G.
Wodehouse is in his 90th year and that
he has just produced. his 74th book ol
cnormously complicated. llippancies. But
age docs not wither nor custom stale, and
The Girl in Blue (Simon Schuster) is
ts ingenio genuous and as h

1 who loves him for
his money. another beautiful girl who
simply loves hi ican corpora-
tion Lawyer and his kleptomania

al sister,

a British barrister who collects valu
ble miniatures, a surly butler. Romances
take fire and die away, fortunes me

found and lost again, and а Gain
ough miniature tuns up in the dammed-
ex places, Tt is heartening, in a world of
change, that not an iota af subtle me
ing has yet evaporated [rom a simple
Wodehouse “Ho!” or “Ah!

jor-

DINING-DRINKING

Some of Chicigo's most interesting res-
nate are off the welltrod sitloin-and-
baked-potaro trail. and one of the best
and newest of these is Bengal Lancers (2324
North Clark Street). les than a two-
dollar taxi ride out of the hotel district.
Irs one fight up, in an unprepossessing
brownstone that fronts on an even more
unprepossesing shopping street. But
you'll forger all thar once you're seated
in the comfortable "noudecored" dining
room and statt sampling the Indian food
proffered by owners Chablani, Dixit and
Shulman. It is merely sensational, partic
ularly the appetizers. which range from
samosa (diced potatoes prepared. in a

bl of Er of spices and stuffed
imo feather-light pastry rolls) % ult
vada (potato balls cooked with mustard
seeds) to our Favorite, pakora (deep

fritters made with chicken.
pl wshrooms or shrimp) If
consider yourself a trencherman, try the
mulligatavny. too. Otherwise, leave some
room for the entrees. The main courses
are, you guessed it, curry dishes in var
ing but consistently delicious guises—
chicken and nuts, meatballs (don't
Knock it if you haven't tried it), beef,
shrimp, and a vegetarian curry that is far
more exotic than you
‘The cunies are accom

fried:

side dish). cucumber and yogurt. a su-
perb chutney and a choice of two
breads, both of which are to American
breads what the Taj Mahal i to
a White Tower. The desert menu is
limited but includes such delights as
gulab jamon—an eclectic amalgam of
brown sugar, saffron, honey, almonds
and raisins soaked in rose warer—and

сет, Indian rice pudding made with
saffron and nuts. Appropriately, Bengal
Lancers stocks a generous complement of
aglish „ including Watneys Red
Barrel, which provide the perfect colin
for a spicy amry, There is also an
assortment of wines available, You won't
find one of the Lancers’ most. beguiling
attractions on the menu. Bs a siti
gaed waitress named Geraldine. who
is pretty, attentive, cordial and ubiqu
tously cllicicnt. Bengal Lancers is open
lor dimer every day except Monday
from 5:30 гм. to Heat. (Gl 1 a.
Friday amd Saturday). Since seating is
limited. reservations are advisable on the
end. (829-0500).

MOVIES

Let any reliable movie historian chart
the decline and fall of the belly ugh
and the awful truth emerges: The god of
mirth is moribund in Hollywood, It's too
had
nes ress mos securely on comedy
Witness the golden age of the silents,
dominated by such geniuses as Chaplin,
Keaton, Langdon and Lloyd. Though
excellent in their way. almost all of the
best of recent comedies inspire the kind
of Laughter that dies in the throat. These
satires. built on à bedrock of bitter social
commentary —M. A. S. H.. Joe. The Boys
in the Band and Catch-22—tend to be
coldly black rather than silesplittiingly
funny. Much less admirable but. nonethe-
less making it are Andy Warhol n

Robert Downevs Pound and me
spirited creations such as Myra. Breckm-
пае and Where's Рорра?, which invite

audiences to leer and snigger at the creeps
on display. We go to sec them because
h lamentably few excepi
tits what passes for comedy. We pay

у. bur do we have much of

ons-

selves have be

come nostalgic for the pure visual comedy
of yesteryear. And such men as Кіса
Lester, Blake Edwards and Mel Brooks,

in their different ways and with vai
degrees of success, have been wy
revive the old spi
romp such as Start the Revolution With
aut Me, done in vintage style, сап easily
he mistaken for a milestone if it delivers a
hearty laugh once every ten minutes.
Why has so much of the lun gone out
of comedy? There are pundits who insist
that the reasons are psychological. May-
be they have something. The p:

ng
im do

it Today, а broad

produced per
classic—Dr. Strangelove, а
Ш comedies in the age ol
пуопе be really amused,
alter „ doomxliy
at hand? Whatever the reasons, today's
stylish young taste. makers—though hip
to drugs, love and revolution—ae sorely
lacking in humor. Perhaps the discussion
is academic, since the decline of comedy
is inextricably connected with harsh eco-

light
comedy to end
the bomb. Can
or amusing,

nomic realities. The great silent come-
dies cost more and took longe

to make
than the average dramatic films of the
time, because the men who made them
were not hacks but young, relatively in
dependent artists who, if they had 10.
would spend days or weeks perfecting a
single unforgettable gag. When the big-
studio organization men took charge, th
demanded finished scripts and shoot
ing schedules. The party was nearly over
nd filmdom's fruitful age of innocence
began to evolve into the big bu
know now, Which means that comedy
has become, by amd large, a package ol
big-box-olficc names cavorting on i
exploitable topic. Everything goes into it
but the key ingredients of ample time and
incomparable talent

For naw, we can only call on exhibi-
tors to bring back the clowns of yore.
That moviegners. given half a chance,
сап still laugh themselves silly is shown
by The Films of Buster Keoton, 4 collage

of ten Features and 21 shorts made by
Keaton between 1917 and 1927. (Many
of the shorts, long presumed lost, retain
title frames translated into German, Pol-
sh or whichever language they bore
when film curator Raymond Rohauer

found them) Ah
New York. London а the collec.
tion will tour major American cities and
return 10 New York's F The:
five more giddy weeks this spri
ing a new generation of fans for а man
who called himself a low comedian but
who carried pure physical comedy 10
incredible heights of artistry, Keaton was
only 22 when he began 10 write, direct
and perform in these ex з exqui
controlled chaos. a onc
decide, he had t his
п unn history alongside the great
or a cur above him. according,
to partisans who argue that Kenon йт
матае cinematic se
Ay an honored guest at the
im. Festival in 1965, the year before he
died. Keaton loll reporters that hic
loathed large screens, frequent close
ups and most of tlie modern comedies on
the premises. “Years ago," said Keaton,
"1 got shots in pictures that will send
cameramen home staring into space.

Keaton's boast is made good in Sherlack
Junior (1924) and Seven Chances (1925).
both filled with cinematic dreams, chases,
landslides and astonishing special effects
that have never been surpassed. Under

mphant in

rises
ıd, will
carved. о

sitely
frantic
niche
Chapli

se was superior
Venice

B/E

Many strange and beau
things have passed through
the ears of men

Sounds so intense, they

moved people. Towar.Tolove.
And to everything in-between.

The music of Bob Dylan,
The Chambers Brothers,
Miles Davis, Sly & The Family
Stone, Chicago and Santana
is like that.

A Specially Priced

2-Record Sel.
MILES DAVIS
AT FILLMORE

INCLUDING.
WEDNESDAY LES THOFSDA
IRDAYMLES SATURD:

million sounds. Some became
real.Andafew became history.

Like the words and legacy
of Dylan. Or the mass effect
of Sly, who got all of Wood-
Stock to stand.

Through the ear sounds
of mystery and passion can
be heard. Fiery and icy at
the same time. A mixture of
jungle, and city. Call the
synthesis Santana.

Or the sound of a group
whose name is their sound:
Chicago. Tumultuous joy.

Or the soulful goodness
of The Chambers Brothers.

Or even the subjective,
swirling inner worlds of Miles.

Behold the ear. And the
passage of things through it.
Sounds to disturb. Sounds to
quell. Sounds to move you to
your soul.

What better place for an
ear to be than next to your head.

On Columbia and Epic Records and Iapes

PLAYBOY

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keyhol ders may charge.

ned porkpie hat that became his
trademark, Keaton's beautiful, imperturb-
able face reflects childlike innocence and
stubborn confidence as he plunges imo
real fantasies of peisecution—in. which
» machines and the elements aic. all
gains him, Everything was too
uch for him, but he could never admit
defeat, and his greatest comedies (The
Navigator, The General өг take your
pick) are epics of insane perseverance,
The important difference between
Keaton and Chaplin, which may partly
explain Buster's appeal to modern audi-
ences, is dat Keaton played all his
characters cool, never striking а note of
sentimentality in the manner of Chap-
lins tramp. Buster, who kmguished
through his latter years inventing comic
business for Red Skelton and Abbott and
Costello, or playing bit paris in beach
epics, jux happens 10 have been onc of
the funniest men on the face of the canh.
If the Keaton show comes e ion
town within reach—drive, fly, run, stow
away or break in to see it. You may find

m:
massed

out why you loye movies.

The makers of Lime Big Man (bined
on Thomas Berger's admirable novel)
try to pack so much into the movie's
rambling narative that the viewer be-
comes uneasy, wondering il director
Arthur Penn and. scenarist Calder Will-
Ingham always kuow exacily what they're

ming for, however high, The strength
of Little Big Man vests on. Dustin. Holl-
S leisy performance as an ancient
(I20-odd-yearokl) frontiers “the
sole Ute survivor of Ci

by the s a ld, Little Big
Man i а kind of pioneer Candide—
bom innocent, flung back and forth be-
tween his Indian brothers and the white
man’s world. The film cditorializes with

its conuasts: The hero's dutiful copula-
lowed

tion with his Indian
sisters seems pi
ured aginst his uncertain re
with a Biblechuching town Indy (Faye
Dunaway in fine form), who ends up
а whorchouse. The whites
wort of it in а gallery of caricatures
ed to the a Bals
ic] who carelessly
a eye in his
Richard
inglori-
c who is almost 100
The mes
then italicized and
rica might have
ace il left 0 the red
n with

or ides w

the

loses am arm, a leg a
ruthless puns
Muli
ous, genocidal
silly 10 be an ellective symbol,
sage is made de:
underscored, thi
been a len bette
men, The theme is muddicd by Pe
vignettes of Indian life that are earnest
but sometimes oddly condescending, e
pecially in the case of one Cheyenne
who behaves like l brave
hom gets

alone

everything absolutely right, whether tan
gling with Wild Bill Hickok (Jet Co
rey) in а breezy spool of gunslinging
heroics or seeing his Ind ly shine

in the snow in a bloody, poetic massacre
sequence that lifts Little Big Man up to

shoulder level with the screen's classics.

Indian affairs are ako the subject of
Flop, formerly tiled Nobody Loves Flap
ping Engle and, before that, Nobody
Loves a Drunken Indian, alter Ch
Huffkers novel. Someone evidently
decided that Flap would prove les
offensive, but the least offense in this

case might have been to keep the title
and scrap the movie. As Flapping Eagle.
Anthony Quinn joins Tony Bill, Victor
Jory, Shelley Winters and innumerable
drunken Indians, whose main purpose—
when they arewt whoring or helling
round the countryside in Flüp's old
truck—is to black the construction оГ a
superhighway though their tribal home-
land. which is already cluttered with
tourist traps. Quinn performs his man-
of-the-soil shtick, acting mostly with am
extended forefinger to point up the
script’s pleas for social justice. Worst of
all in this powwow are Flap's pinkand
purple fantasies in a local cathouse, Miss
Winters presiding. The Indians ought to
send ont a war party.

Jason Robards, opposite luscious Kath
Ros, brings tired middle age to
the rejuvenating fountain of youth with
altogether beter results in Fools, filmed
everywhere in photogenic San Francisco
by director Tom (Wi Penny) Gries.
Robert Rudelsom's original screenplay
has almost no plot. but maintains interest
through a series of quiet exploratory
meetings between two strangers—a worn-
ont, disillusioned actor in Hollywood
horror flicks and а fantastically beautiful
girl His problem is that he c 1

meaning in anything; hers, that she once
believed beauty was synonymous with
perfection and she is striving to heal the

bruises of her bad marriage to a rich,
andsome young attorney (Scott Hylands).
Fools ends with a melodramatic twist
seems tacked onto the film's subtle e
scenes, deftly played by Robards
Jow-pitchied and spontaneous performance
superior to practically everything he has
done on the saven before, and given
further dimension by Кай
who has mastered the art
Movies are the ide m lor such
closc-up studies of character, and Fools
despite a certain Mabbiness at the core
is endowed with style and substance by
one of Hollywood's consistently
1 direc

nderestin ns.

Lively debate is apt to be provoked by
The Confession, based on Artur
book about the Prague purge utile ol
1952. One of th is among the

Londo

14 defendants, London told a harrowin;
е of repression and terror in the world
of people's democracy, and the gist of it
is conveyed with impeccable technique
and unquestionable dedication by the
team that collaborated on 7: Greek direc-
tor Costa-Gavras and adapter Jorge Sem-
prun. Even Yves Montand is at hand
again for the key role as a deputy minis
ter of foreign affairs and devoted Com-
munist who finds himself unjustly jailed,
terrorized and convicted of espionage
Although Montand's strong performance
should help to make The Confession
another box-office bonanza, it lacks the
plot surprises and the balanced array of
good guys vs. bad guys that made Z such
effective thriller. Here, the focus on
one man's passive resistance to sadistic
ards and diabolical interrogators
row, repetitious and diminished in
impact by all the secret-police shockers
that have gone before. Politically, the
movie overimplifies history, slighring
the social and political background that
would indict not just a few power-hun-
gry pro Soviet villains but the entire sys
tem built up by Stalin's heirs. Except for
a few scenes in which Simone Signoret
Montand) tries to cling 10 her
xist ideals as the hero's interminably

g wife, we never know that the
purge is part of an international out-
К of paranoia that puts thousands of
innocent. people behind bars or drives
ground. Despite the fuzz
ras political vision, The
Confession has its moments, and at least
it opens up to movie audiences issues of
conscience and intellect.

If little Goldie Hawn, Laugh-In's gog-
gle-eyed alumna, deserved the Oscar she
won last year for Cactus Flower, she may
well capture a Nobel Prize for There's a
Girl in My Soup. Goldic has twice as
much to do, and she does it with consid-
erable aplomb in Terence Frisby's adap-
jon of his London and Broadway
stage hit about a swinging mymphet's
triumph over a randy TV-talk-show
host (Peter Sellers), who is mo sooner
oficunera than hes on the make. АЙ
right, so Goldie is a charming kook rath-
er than an actress—but since when has

acting talent been considered a prime
requ for movie stardom? British
director Roy Boulting gives Goldie the

benefit of the doubt and she coolly pops
an otherwise undistinguished comedy
right into her pocket. As for the zedoubt
able Peter, he wallows in his familiar
ambivalence, playing broad comedy as if
he would almost prefer to be a convincing
lover. Still, he gets incredible mileage
rom one good running gag—a compul-
sion to intone huskily "My God, but
you're lovely" to every pretty face he
meets, including his own.

A Severed Head is crisply civilized and
literate, and damned well ought to be,

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since the movie was adapted by sce
Frederic Raphael (who wrote Darling)
from the play by J. B. Priestley, which
itself was based on Iris Murdoch's mor-
dant novel ie the pedigree, how-
ever, the high comedy-ol-manners style
doesn't come olf, because director Dick
Clement is clearly putting on airs, letting
us feel the effort of everyone present to
simulate bland detachment toward such
uppercrust diversions as infidel

tenborough), only to discover in time
that she ly prefers her husband's
brother (Clive Revill). Of course, the
husband (lan Holm) has taken a mii
tress (Jennie Linden), who also fancies
the brother. yet they all match up one
way or another after the shrink and his
freaky half sister (Claire Bloom) stop
sleeping together. Severed Head sounds
y in summary, but the mean temp
ture of the beds occupied here would be
barely adequate for crossbreeding sweet-
heart roses.

The titular hero of Brewster McCloud
(played with sel sweetness by
Bud Cort) spends his time holed up in
the bowels of Houston's Astrodome,
building himself a pair of wings with
which to fly right out of this world, In
his spare ume, aided by а somewhat
symbolic bird girl named Louise (Sally
Kellerman), Brewster murders several of
the meanest people in town and leaves
bird droppings on their bodies—the
mark of the sparrow. It must be clear by
now that Brewster comes down rather
1 side. Scena-
otions of
whimsy, alas. rely w a great extent оп
purdown gags (the film's title song is
The Star-Spangled Banner, by the in-
imitable Francis Scott Key), curses and
frequent references to “this bird shit
shit.” Location filming in and around
Houston gives little help to director
Robert Altman, whose smash M. A.S. Н.
raises one's hopes too high for the earth-
bound humor of Brewster McCloud.
Here, Altman's concept is hazy, his tim-
ing is off and he flails away as if the
simple mechanics of screen comedy had
never been invented—another case of
piling actors into a fleet of cars and
letting them chase around at random.

rist Dora

Altman disguises his whole company as
circu

troupers for the finale, but a cast
ble supporting clowns led by Stu.
5. Wood and Margaret Hamil-
ton (0:5 perennial witch) merely looks
driven to desperation.

The white, wintry landscapes of The
Night Visitor are bone-chilling and few
some, the better to spook you with.
Speaking English, possibly in deference

10 Britain's Trevor Howard, who plays
a ausy police inspector, three super-
Swedes—Max von Sydow, Liv Ullmann
and Per Oscarsson—walk on the thin ice
of Visitor's plot with utter assurance; they
couldn't be better if Hitchcock or Berg:
man were leading the way. The man
ly in command is veteran director
best remembered. for
Death of a Salesman and The Wild One,
and no slouch when it comes to making
little things loom large—a stealthy hand
at a window, say, or the oddly terrifying
plight of a country doctor locked in a

Чу effective one, who some-
way from his cell in а for-
for the criminally d
ble vengeance on c per-
lc. The victims are a despica

m scarcely a breath of
audience sympathy as Von aces
through the snow in hi ies to do
them in with a necktie, 4 paperweight
nd an ax. Why and how are the ques-
tions posed. Answers come pretty fast
nd are mostly implausible—even faintly
foolish—but spelled out with many
satisfying tingle for addicts of the gothic
mode.

tress prison
ster
sons outs

asane

ble lot who €:

One thing that sets Rie Lobo apart from
a dozen previous John Wayne Westerns
is that writer George Plimpton plays a
bit role as à bad guy. The good guys
shoot Plimpton on sight, but not before
having supplied him with material for a
television special and another first-person
hook on the order of Paper Lion, which
recorded his experiences with a pro-
football team. Maybe you should just
skip the movie and wait for George's
report. Rio Lobo's cast performs strictly
by the numbers, making silly dialog sound
downright idiotic until the climactic mo-
ment when the Duke declares, “You got
yar town back.” The bad guys who
disposed of along the way made the г

take of peddling Union secrets to the
Confederates during the Civil War, and
Wayne naturally makes short work of any

varmints foolish enough to besmirch our
country’s Hag. From ume to time, when
no one is talking, Producer director How-
the help of second-

fully filmed action se-
quence that does credit to the maker of
Dawn Patrol, Scarface amd a score of

comparable classics, Those, alis. were the
days.

The third part of a quasi-mtobiograph.
ical trilogy by writerdirector Francois

Truffaut, Bed ond Boord lia
Amine Doinel, played
Piere Leud, who was Trulfaur's An-
toine in The 400 Blows and Stolen Kisses.
Coming from so accomplished a cinc-

hero named
gain by Jean-

matic stylist as Truffaut, Ded and Board
describes
in straightforward fashion the Ше and
mes of the newlywedded Antoine in

i his wife (Claude
nd his oriental mistress (Hiroko
auer). The most remarkable thing
about the movie is that Truffaut, at this
point in his carcer, chose 10 make a film
so naive and unprepossessing compared,
say, with Jules and Jim. Опе expects so
much more of him than a wistful Gallic
fable about the marination of two young
martieds, familiarly spiced with boyish
humor. The light touch is recognizable as
рше Truffaut. though, when die hero.
noting that his wife's breasts are m
matched, blithely christens them Laurel
and Hardy.

I Love My is a cynical comedy
that casts Elliott Gould as a philander
ing young surgeon. Unfortunately, an
am ipt by Robert Kaufman, d
rected in strictly formula style by Mel
Stuart, too often settles for a wink and a
leer where someth of emotional sub-
stance is needed. Gould, who races from.
movie to movie these days with scarce
time 10 slip into a fresh’ shirt, nonethe
less manages a passable caricature of the
сап boy whose masturbatory
re soon destroyed by the re
ties of marriage, symbolized by a shop
ping cart full of baby food. As the young
bride who almost overnight becomes a
fat and flaccid Hausfrau, Brenda Vaccaro
sportingly endures all the agonies of
wifehood—including a final frenzied
round of art classes, psychoanalysis and
dieting. Nothing she does, of course, can
restore the gleam to hubby's eye or deter
him from seducing patients and student
nurses. The marriage ends on the rocks
and we leave the misguided philanderer
in a cocktail lounge with an off-duty
stewardess which is evidently meant ta
imply a fate worse than home
hearth. Well, maybe. But the hero's cru
cial and notquite-believable error is let-
ting go of a very sexy married. lady,
played by model Angel Tompkins. the
«of girl for whom any medic i
ht mind would rush straight’ home
from the hospital

ous sc

"What can you say about а beauti
2B-yearold girl who dies “That
loved Movart, Bach, the Beatles and
me... ." So gently muses Ryan O'Neal

the hero of Erich Segal’s bestselli
Story. Ali MacGraw plays the beautiful
young bride who succumbs to leuk
and, bring the Kleenex. Direc
tor Arthur Hiller has transl,
precious tale into a veritable dewdrop of
a movie that brings back the days when
Bette Davis and Margaret Sullavan were
wont to find Truc Love just before con
tracing nameless [tal diseases ect
that this latter-day dying swan curses like

well,

а longshoreman. Love Story's poor little
rich boy goes to Harvard, meets a poor
little poor girl from Radcliffe and marries
her Against His Family's Wishes. Which
means that the kids have to live on the
cheap until he can leave Harvard Law
with honors and move into а luxury apart
ment in Manhattan. Then it happens.
And she never gets to see Paris (“Screw
Paris" she murmurs from her deathbed),
It’s а passion that lingers in one's mind
for a good five minutes

RECORDINGS

Aher the late Janis Joplin hit her
popularity peak, she unloaded the group
that had become merely her backup band
Bur that didn't stop Big Brother and
the Holding Company. Their latest
bum, Be e Brother (Columbia), is а g
Nick Gravenites has been added to share
the dead vocals with Sam Andrew and
the LP is a great studio rendering of the
happy, love, energy, getup-and.dance,
atihe-Fillmore sound. Down at the
bottom of the back cover of the album is
а list of "Friends" who helped out with
the recording, There, in small type, is
the name Janis Jopli

Magical Connection (Blue Thumb) has
guitarist Gabor Szabo at the top of his
form. He's obviously in company he digs
(а grooving rhythm combo with which
he has complete rapport) and thc
at hand include such diverse goodies as
the Bacharach-David Close to You, Steve
Still's Pretty Gil Why, John Sebastian's
title item and Alex North's Love Theme
Гот "Spartacus." The LP is a delight
fiom beginning to end.

Note to everybody who got scared of
the Grateful Dead а few years back:
You сип take your fingers out of your
cars now. During their acid period, the
Dead produced some deep space music
that only an expanded mind could love,
but lately they've come а long way back
from the nether reaches—and with fine
results. American Beauty (Warner Bros.),
their most recent release, is a comfort
able tip that’s well worth taking. On
soft, subdued cuts such as Ripple and
Яніс of My Life, they show a sensitive,
lyrical side, like Elizabethan balladecis
gone clectric, and оп Operator and
Truckin, it's great, cooking, move-it-on
down-theline rock ‘n’ roll all the way
The Dead have been through a lot of
changes, but it sounds as though they've
finally come home.

Three no-nonsense pianists with indis
putable credentials have LPs at hand
that me really first-rate, Ramsey Lewis’
Them Changes (Cadet) finds him play
ing electric pi addition to his
regular ax and teaming up with stellar

no i

Burley...
forthe Captain's locker

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E] Send item(s) to me.

U Send gift and a gift card in my name. (Attach recipients’ names and addresses.)

[ Payment enclosed. (Make check payable to Playboy Products.)

E] Charge to my Playboy Club credit Key no. cai IL

Executive Sandbox(es). MM348, at S10 each.

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Over Troubled Water
Peter, Paul & Mary—10 Years
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Lettermen—Reflections
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PLAYBOY

guitarist Phil Upchurch, bassist Cleve-
Тапа Eaton and drummer Morris Jen-

Ramscy was
tunc
with his material. Bobby Timmons Trio / From
the Bottom (Riverside) offers the non-
pareil of funky pianists (for а delightful
change of pace, he plays absorbing vibes
on Quiet Nights of Quiet Stars and Some-
one to Watch Over Mc). accompanied by
drummer Jimmy Cobb and bassist Sam
Jones, For most of the outing, Timmons
gets into the pop balkid-bossr nova bag
ith consummate case, Although the LP
etched in 1964 and not released until
now, it shows no sign of age. The capper
is Timmons at his best and at his most

the American condition.

never in better form or more

familiar, setting down his classic Moanin’
as though he was phtying it for the first
time, Another funk-soul eminence is

Junior Mince, and his latest LP, With a
lotta Help from My Friends (guitarist Eric
Cale, bassist Chuck Rainey and drum-
mer Billy Cobham), on the Atlantic label,
is suffused with freewheeling joy. The
tumes, with the exception of David Ci
ton Thomas’ Spinning Wheel, have
caused по grcat sensations, No matter,
since the performances are what this
album is all about. Happy jazz—and that’s
a rare commodity these days.

Two rock groups that d curious.
linc, weaving between underground and
Lop 40. have cut albums that won't dis-
appoint or st abe their fans much.
Three Dog Nights latest, Three Dog Night
—Naturolly (Dunhill), features the voca
kulen sound they've been selling ever
since they hit with Laura Nyro’ Eli's
Comme and induces their latest hit, One
Man Band. At the other end of the spec-
trum from Three Dog's pretty sound is
Steppenwolf, who, you will remember,
made it on the strength of John К.
pscudosatanie voice and his su
This group is considered tough and heavy
1 the Rolling

лсе

by everyone who's never lı

Stones, and it’s more of the same old nasty
stull in Steppenwolf 7 (Dunhill). Among
the meanerthandhou titles are Ball

Crusher, Hippo Stomp and Renegade.
Tom Rush pens some of the sweetest
acousicabiype songs around. but om
Tem Rush / Wrong End of the Rainbow (C
Тата), he on the work of
competitors in that same gentle arca —in-
cluding Sweet Baby James, by James
Taylor, АН teu tracks on the album arc
the sort that get one to listen without
being overpowering a strong message
delivered in a soft medium. Rush shares
some of the writing credits with Trevor
Veitch and it shouldn't be long before
other artists suap up their materi

Iso t

Emitt Rhodes (Dunbill) has just turned
out his first album and its practically a

one-man show: lyrics, music, vocals,

a engineering and production.
The songs arc movingly beautiful and
that's one of the problems. Unlike Paul
McCartney's solo clfort—which this al-
bum resembles—there are no drivers and
the “pretty” sound can begin to wear
thin and dull. Our favorites among the
12 tunes are With My Face on the Floor
and Live Till You Dic.

Miles Davis at Fillmore (Columbia)
a (woLP package of the septet’s four-
ight stand at New York's rock palace,
Fillmore East—is the most adventurous
of Miles recordings to date. е
no titles, just the group, spearheaded by
the Davis trumpet, stretching out and
producing music that defies categori
tion jazz, rock, on girde, soul —
there’s no point im trying to identify
it. Miles knows what he's into and where
he’s going: ws up to his audience to
keep up with him. It's certainly worth
the effort.

There

Creedence Clearwater Revival has been
g some Mik lately for continuing to
grind out the same old singles sound;
Dut on Pendulum (Fantasy), the boys have
moved into a slightly new groove. John.
Fogerty, who normally plays lead guitar,
has switched with success to the keyboard
оп seven of the ten numbers and the rest
of the runs a some new inst
ments as well, The result is an effort that
energy of past Creedence re-

аз a new intricacy—most

Rude Awakening Nu. 2,
а коран tune th

noticeable on

"s split by a thr

minute "n ciere" symphone

That estimable altoist Paul Desmond
has been heard little since the breakup
of the Brubeck foin. Now we have one
of his most fruüful cllorts. Bridge Over
Troubled Water (АХМ), a tribute to the
song-writing skills of Paul Sine ud a

ilicc

Song. Mix. Robinson. the
e ode, Scarborough Fair and six other
dandies, supported by a splendid rhythm
section that boasts Herbie Hancock and
Ron Canter among its members.

At the fore of the impending God-
rock ge ion has
come пр with a three-LP set, Alf. Things
Must Poss (Apple). Two of the records
contain. such rocking inspirational. stuff.
s his hit single, My Sweet Lord—and
the third, labeled Apple Jam. is an im-
provised workout that boasts such blue-
ribbon sidemen as Ringo Starr, Pete
Drake, Eric Clapton and Daye Mason,
The jun is mainly bonus, though.
What we're really getting here is a deep
ly personal statement by Harrison.

moveme

expression of his positive outlook on life,
of his faith in the old Indian belief that
music has the power to change human
destiny and of his rel self. The
«Пон was coproduced by Phil Spector,
who, for once, has abandoned his heavy-
handed wallofsound style in favor of
lighter touch. Hear Me Lord, the last
song, wraps up the set well and is just
about where the whole trip is at. It's an
old-fashioned religious confessional del
ered in revivalmeeting style.

The title of his new album may be

David Steinberg . . . Disguised сє a Normal
Ferson (Elektra), but we know better.
What kind of normal person talks
about how he would say dirty things on
The Dating Game, how he once found
his dinner partner stirring his mashed
potatoes with her fingers, how he takes
umbrage with the dictionary's definition
of bullshit, how the Old Testament has
it all over Joe Miller's joke book as a
source of some of die wittiest monologs
making the rounds today? Granted. 5
beris a great comedian. But
"Thats a laugh.

THEATER

Even if you're a stranger in New Ha-
ven. the Yale Repertory Theater is Саху 10,
find. Look for an old brick church at th
comer of York and Chapel streets with
psyehedel pes framing 1 Cothic
entranceway. The juring jux
of old and new that cha
Yale Rep's decor also. provides a clue 10
the policies of artistic director Robert
Brustein. A drama er ned educa
tor, Brustein Jeans heavily on classics
and offbeat new works. "The current se:
son, for example, opened list fall with
Mary Theater repertory. an innovative
effort that went on to become a Broad-
way hit. The second production was The
Revenger's Tragedy, a seldom performed
Jacobean drama by Cyril Tourneur. The
critics hailed leading man Kenneth
Haigh but panned the play's pseudo-
Shakespearean gore. (One aisle sitter
called it Slaughterhouse Ten; students
dubbed it Brustein’s Folly) In january
cime the world premiere of Where Has
Tommy Flowers Gone!, by 31-year-old
Terrence McNally. one of the hottest
playwrights around. Represented in New
York with halfa-dozen plays, including.
And Things Go Bump in the Night,
Suret Eros and Next, he has written his
work as a freeform comedy about a
narchist who chides the estal
love the world; it’s what you
done to it that 1 can't stand." The
current production at Yale (ending
March 18) is an interpretation of. Mac-
beth that Brustein. describes as “an
tempt 10 investigate the supernatural
environment of the play in the light of
our own sciencefiction tradition." In

ic et 6

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PLAYBOY

April, Yale Rep will introduce Jerzy
Kosinski’s dramatization of his novel
Steps, which won the 1969 National Book
Award for fiction. Kosinski is Yale's
present writer in residence, and the latest
in a succession of bright young dramatists,
including Sam Shepard and Megan Terry.
A musical production, the American pre-
micre of Two by Bertolt Brecht and
Kurt Weill, will close the season, In liv
years at Yale, Brustein has presented. a
dozen world premieres, notably Joseph
Heller's We Bombed in New Haven,
Robert Lowell's ada ol Prome-

theus Bound and Jules Feiſters God
Bless. Aud. of course, MacBird took
ale. Brustein’s drive for profes-

ionalism.

drawn criticism [rom stu-
dents who regard a university theater as
the domain of trainees. They feel that
the import of big names (Sir John Giel-
gud, Irene Worth, Estelle Parsons, Stacy
Keach, Nancy Wickwire, Mildred Dun-
ock) diminishes their opportunities for
juicy roles. Brustein’s reply to student
Mak: “They like to think of themselves as
aduate students in a university theater,
but actually they re apprentices in a pro-
fessional conservatory. 1 cime io Yale to
create a well-disciplined actor who doesn't
play himself over and over again. This has
been the curse of the American theater.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, sci-fi seer and
black-comic wizard, has become a play-
wright—or rather, he has written a play,
Happy Birthday, Wende June. While it docs
not always have the exactness of the
best of his novels, it is very Vonnegut
nd very theatrical, With malice and
intelligence, it attacks the cult of the
killer, of Hemingway as cultural and
sexual icon, and of heroes, whoever they
are, The source is the Odyssey, with the
uthor’s modermday Odysseus a super
manly (and impotent) hunter named
Harold Ryan, played by Kevin Me
Guthy. Ryan has been lost for eight
years in the Amazon jungles with his
best friend, Looseleal Harper, the man
who dropped the bomb on Nagasaki.
Suddenly, unannounced, they reum to

civilization to find they are outdated, un-
needed, out of it. "Something big must
have happened in sex while we were

" observes the nervous Looseleaf.
Something big has also happened in
Ryan's household. His wife is beset
by two suitors, one a vacuum-deaner

sales

n who hero-worships her hus
band, tlie other a pacifist who tries to
take on the hunt ı words, The plot
gets thicker and crazier, branching out to
heaven, where Vor finds a mon-
strous and hi а little girl
ned Wand ad Ryan's al-
Heaven, it scems, is a
ke any other and Jesus Christ is
just another guy playing shuflleboard.
Vaudeville routin lies, farce

Vonnegut makes his own rules, and

more power to him. Wanda may lack a
certain po ish, but it has class, style
the

па
?40

vit abundance. At Edison,

West 47th Street.

The Gingerbreed Lady
serious play. The odd thing is that while
it has definie weaknesses as drama, it's
compulsively funny. The humor is sharp,
pointed, at times even mean. Unlike
К s previous hits, Gingerbread Lady
isn't merely situational. 105 about some
thing and someone, namely Evy Mena
(Maureen Stapleton), a Judy Garland well
over the rainbow, а dead-beat singer worn
down by years of heavy drinking and
dom lovemaking. A fat, desperate creature
о lat that she would have killed her
sell if she could have squeezed out the
window—she has gone for the cine, and
now, ay the play begins, returns 16 her
cheap New York apartment. ("а sublease
from Mary Todd Lincoln”), thin, wan
and dry. Almost immediately, she slops
hack into her old ways, which include two
misfit friends (a homosexual flop actor
and а beauty queen fighting to keep her
ing face) and а heel of a young lover.
She tipples sherry at Schrallt’s, insults her
friends, ditches her adoring daughter—
and cracks into а thousind crumbs, like
the gingerbread house she once gave the
daughter, The downfall lacks provoci-

1 Simon's first.

n is too easy. The p
Час problems. Or ly wants
know more- ict, all about Evy.
pon showers on the wisecracks.
y has a comeback for everything, except
herself, Miss Stapleron's Evy is coarse, self-
centered, wounded—with all the coi
ns showing. At the Plymouth, 236 West
15th Surect.

John Gielgud and Sir Ralph Rich-
ardson are monuments 10 the art of act-
ing, and to sce and to hear them
David Storey’s Home is а rure theatric:
experience. Each is at the very top of his
craft. with precise responses and vast.
reserves of sensitivity, which they can

sence of
great deal
carefully

call upon at will—even in the
words. In. Home, there is
between the words, The play

underwritien, and directed with gr
economy by Lindsay Anderson, Nothing
is wasted. The stage is bright, and bar

table

except for a nd chairs, a
llagpole а with one joint
missing. Gielgud and Richardson stride
on. sit down and exchange pleasantries
The oh-yesses and oli-dears spin by, cach
with a specific inflection. As the cl
ters begin to expose closely g
memories, one begins to wonder how
much to believe. Soon it is evident that
this Home is an insane asylum, although
it is never exactly clear how dalt the two

old gentlemen are. All we know for sure

is that they are failures and their lives
are dimming. Each character plays olf
the other, but often 5 only to

ment. emerge. Gielgud is gentle, mellow
and given to quiet crying. Richardson's
sadness does not surface so readily: he is
starchier and somewhat n

more, Their finc

manners (perhaps а froutz) are in contrast
to those of two women patients, a rundy
old lady (Mona Washboume) and a

зу one (Dandy Nichols). The quar-
Ik, walk, watch the sun set—and
survive. The language is spare and lyri-
cal. Home is а poem, set to actors’ пи
At ilie Morosco, 217 West 45th Street.
Among many other things, John F.
Kennedy was always good. th His
ires called that “style.” Kennedy's
cs argued that style was all he had.
am and dash of Camelot
were, at best, insubstantial qualifications
for the Presidency. Now, as bizarre as it
sounds, An Evening with John F. Kennedy
offers a replay of some of Kennedy's most

memorable performances during hiis 1000
days—and it 25 good theater. Actor
Jeremiah Collins. 31. is the one-man show

in 100 minutes of chronologically ar-
ranged readings of excerpts from J. E. Kæ
speeches aud press conferences and he
looks sufficiently like Kennedy to play
the role to the hili and not as а curica-
ture. His voice and accent are near per-
feet and. nnerisms—the hands in
the pockets or jabbing at the audience,
the grin when he's slipped through the
arms of a tackler at a press conference—

his m

аге as close to the remembered reality as
a reenacment сап be. At the beginning,
it's impossible to avoid the suspicion that

Evening will be, must be, in bad taste. Tt
imt. Its neither morbid nor maudlin,
nd it requires an appetite for neither to
find enjoyment in watching and remem-
bering what Kennedy said and the way he
siid it, from his inaugural address 10 his
Ist press conference, shortly before the
пір to Texas. The mimicry alone, which
is brill t be enough to sustain
or justify the resurrection. but, like read
ing an old newspaper, Evening ollers a
unique glimpse of a piece of history as it
ppeared at the time, matehed against its
appenance now. The cose of the show
which we will not reveal—is pt
э the end of John Kennedy's Presiden-
cy. Incredibly, even though the script is
history, the end comes

it, would

is abr

as irrevocable a

as а homilying surprise. Shocking the
a jolt of unanticipated

brutality is in questionable taste, but the
producers really had no choice: Any
other ending would have been an in-
excusable Lie, At the National Press Club
in Washington, D. C. on the first leg of
a projected national tour.

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THE PLAYBOY

ADVISOR

Le just returned from a performance
of life's longest-running drama: "Man
Finds Truc Love But Gets Dumped
On.” I could use a few suggestions on
how to blot out the feelings of unrequit-
ed love, remorse and rage that hinder my
return to a happy bachelor existence. In
short, 1 need something to 1 the
gap between my deep emotional involve-

vith a lady in my past and my
faith in ng a finer wom-
in the future, Someday. the chip on

1, but what do 1 do until then?—
St. Louis, Missouri.

I's sink—or get right back into the
social swim. “Nobody loves you when
you're down and out,” as the song says,
and if all you do is stand around and
sing the blues, don't expect much help
on the soprano part. The trick of keeping
warm once love burns oul is not to roll
around in the ashes but to start a new
fire with another girl. It would be even
wiser to dale а number of different girls.

L.. fall, 1 sold my Harley ro a friend in
California and decided, for a L 11 1
would deliver it in person. 1 made it
fiom New York to Long Beach in just
83 hours, which includes the
hours I uashed for some much-needed
sleep. I thought this was pretty fast, but
a friend insists it's nowhere near the
record for aosscountry оп a motorcycle.
How dose did 1 come?—S. T. New York,
New York.

Not very. The record is held by H-
year-old Tibor Sarosy, a naturalized
‘American, who sel it in 1968, covering
the distance from New York to Los An-
geles in a zippy 45 hours, 41 minutes.
Savossy drove a BMW R695, logged 2687
miles on his odometer, made four ucl
stops and averaged 58.7 mph. The only
modification. to his cycle was the addi-
tion of two five-gallon jeep cans to act as
auxiliary fuel tanks. Sarossy made а sub-
siantial portion of the run in Texas and
New Mexico during a driving rainstorm,
fainted once at an inspection station on
the Arizona-California border and slept
for 12 hours when it was all over. When
interviewed later, Sarossy casually men-
tioned that American speed limits were
“archaic” and admitted exceeding most
of them during his trip.

Dam curious about the derivation of the
ndard symbols for male and female. Is
there any connection between the latter
and the Egyptian ankh?—C. I, Minne-
apolis, Minnesota.

There is no connection, The male
symbol, 8, represents the shield and
spear of the ancient god of war, Mars,

Ti is also the symbol of the Planet
Mars. The jemale symbol, Q, is a repre-
sentation of а hand minor and is as
sociaicd with the goddess of beauty,
Aphrodite. It is also the symbol of the
planet Venus.

WI, girl and I are thinking of getting
married soon, but we are slightly hesi-

tant, as we are first cousins. Could you
tell us if first-cousin marriages are very
ers might be2—

In the highly mixed and mobile United
States, first-cousin marriages are extreme-
ly тате—6 out of 10000 marriages.
For Britain, however, it is 60 in 10,000;
for Spain, 460: and for the Fiji Islands,
2970. The dangers are the possibility
of disease and deformity showing up
in the children; such gene-linked ills
require а recessive gene plus another
similar recessive gene. The chances of non-
related people having the same recessive
gene are remote; nol so in first-cousin
marriage, in which the husband and wife
share one eighth of their genes, Among
offspring of first-cousin marriages in the
U.S, infant mortality during the first
ten years is 8.1 percent, as opposed lo 2.4
percent for the offspring of nonrelated
marria;

s. Malformations among the chil
dren of related marriages run 16.15 per-
cent, against 9.82 percent for nonrelated.
As to marriage, the advice of an expert
jor the British Medical Journal bears
quoting: “My own practice with first-
cousin couples who plan 10 marry is to
explain the additional risk and to tell
them that, if they really want lo marry,
it is а very reasonable risk to take" Re-
member that many states prohibit first-
cousin marviages—and, by all means, be
sure to check with your family doctor first
Jor any history of gene-connected diseases,

Wed you tell me in which states of
the Union 1 can legally drink alcoholic
beverages if I am only 18 years of age?—
F. P., Toronto, Onta

You can sample anything you want in
Louisiana and New York. The District of
Columbia, Mississippi, North Carolina
and South Carolina will allow you to
drink beer and wine only. Wisconsin will
limit you to beer. In Colorado, Kansas,
Ohio and West Virginia, anything other
than 3.2 beer is a no-no. South Dakota
will permit you to drink 32 beer when
you're 19, and Idaho allows the sipping
of stronger suds at 20. In all the rest, the
magic age is 21.

М... that women's lib is busily bı
the things that go snap in the n
could you tell me who invented the bra

If the aroma of
Field & Stream
doesn’t remind
you of a great
autumn day in
the woods...

A шаму родий of Philip Morris U S A,

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in the first place? A friend of mine says
the French did, but 1 maintain that
Americans have always led in the science
of suspension. Who's right?—E. D., Seat

Although there are competing claims
by both French and American inventors,
the credit probably goes to Mary Phelps
Jacob, an enterprisin
gether a brassiere in 19H, an this side
of the Allantic. The standard female
undergayment of the period was the
whalebone corset. While dressing for a
dance one evening, Miss Jacob decided
to shun the detested corset and fashioned
a breast support from two handkerchiefs
and a bit of ribbon. Al fast, she made
them for friends, then went into business
for herself, finally selling the patent to
п corset company for 515,000.

WI. people who know me regard me
asa nice And that appears to be my
problem; I'm too nice. In other words, 1
lack aggressiveness when I'm with mem-
bers of the opposite sex. All around me
guys а lot less gifted than 1 am who
no difficulty at all in |
boards, but 1 ger
wrapped up in fasci
while they're making it with their dates
How can I get the self-confidence to
make the necessary moves and still be a
gentleman?—H. C., Denver, Colorado.

A gentleman respects the wishes of the
lady he's with. But there are jew ladies
o don't wish to be touched, when the
lime, place and situation are appropri-
ate. Indeed, the girl who wishes to be
treated as a valuable piece of sculpture
and admired on a pedestal is vare today
An arm around the waist can be as
meaningful as an hour of conversation
—if desired. And, if not desired, most
women know how to signify their dis
taste. But that’s the key—vather than
anticipate a negative reaction (as you
do), wait until it appears, Then stop.
Perhaps the Austrian port Rainer
Maria Rilke summed it up best when he
wrote, “Love consists in this, that two
solitudes protect and touch and greet
each other.” He didn’t say a thing about
talking the girl to death.

h
their

Bh a tew months, 1 will be getting out of
the Service and my folks, whom I love
dearly, want me to go back to college
Unfortunately, | don't want to—I'm not
demically inclined and I dislike book-
work and theoretical ideas. My p
of course, are assuming. ГШ return
much rather than go back to school, I
7 This is
no recent a се 1 was H, Гус
been in love ij. not hot rods or
sports or rock music. I've read everything
there is on the subject: 1 go to logging
contests; I think logging. 1 would rather
look at a loaded log truck turning the
corner than watch a pretty girl cross the

M N

Your four years
of college should be
worth more than a degree.

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curriculum.

It’s the kind of training
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The kind of instruction
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as an officer in the Army.
Where you'll get experience in
leading men. In handling big,
important jobs.

And you'll still be young
enough to take full advantage
of this experience. In the
Army. Or in civilian life.

ROTC can make your
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Get the details. Use the
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than a degree.

ARMY ROTC. A great
way to make it.

Army ROTC
P.O. Box 12703
Philadelphia, Pa. 19134

Tell me how I can earn more than a

“|

College planning on.

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I consider loggers to be hard-
ng. rugged and independent men
the few penons I think are
ly free in life. But how do I tell my
folks that?—M. C., Portland, Oregon.

As you have told vravuoy—bearing in
mind that your decision is not one that
they're going to accept without argu-
ment. However, what might be more
logical for all of you is to declare a
moratorium on the subject for а year,
while you try your hand at logging. If
it's not all that you expected, you can
return to college and perhaps major in an
allied field, such as forestry.

Д tes months ago, I met a girl who now
claims she is in love with me. I feel the
same about her, but [also feel that I'm
inferior to the man who was engaged to
e of her
ing about
him, remarking how completely she had
given hemel to him. We enjoy cach
others company and have been to bed
together, but 1 wonder if [ measure up.
I keep thinking what a man her former
ad must have been, What can I
F., Atlanta, Georgia

Stop making your dates а threesome.
Your girls the best judge of what a
powerhouse her ex-boyfriend was, not
you, and if she's dating you now, then in
her eyes, if not in your own, you meas-
ure up. Even if she's still carrying some-
thing of a torch for a lost love, it’s
obvious that she thinks highly of you.
With time, her references ta her ex will
fade. You can help her forget by refusing
to play second fiddle to a memory

Bam a college student sharing an apart-
ment with two other guys. One of them
has a stereo that is more or less commu-
nity property, along with his records and
those of our mutual roommate. J antici-
pate getting a sterco soon, but for the last
few months have used the existing setup.
though 1 am reluctant to add my own
discs to the communal pile—the rea-
son being the negligent way my room-
mates treat records. Music means a lot 10
me and I would hate to see my collection
of oldies but goodies reduced to nothing
but needle scratches. Am 1 justified in
using the community setup but withhold-
ing my own records? —L. N. Los Angeles,
с

No. There ave alternatives, however,
You might put Inge stickers on all your
albums that say MANDLE WIM CARE or
PERISHABLE: or you could talk over the
situation with your roommates, explain-
ing how you groove on their records but
would prefer not to see yours grooved; or
you could wait until you get your own
rig and, in the meantime, leave theirs
alone. Better yet, continue with the pres-
ent arrangement bul, from time to time,
buy a record and contribute it to the com-
munal pile as “house propert

A while back, I read about a five
year-old girl in South America who gave
birth to a son. When 1 repeat the мо
no one believes me, and I've forgotten
some of the details. Can you confirm.
or deny the могу. W., Fayetteville,
North Caroli

I is true. On May H, 1939, a five
year-old Peruvian girl was delivered of a
зоп weighing 5.96 pounds, thereby estab-
lishing herself as the youngest human on
record lo give birth. The child lived and
was raised as her brother,

Every time my boyfriend takes me out
to lunch or to dinner, he uses one of his
credit cards to charge the meal. For once,
1 would appreciate it if he would pay
cash—at least I'd feel less like a ta
deductible item. How do T tell him so as
not to upset either his monthly payment
plan or his feeling?—R. C, Housto
Texas,

What makes you think that Uncle Sam
has anything 10 do with your boyfriend
using a credit card? Most often, it's simply
а convenient way to avoid carrying
around a lot of cash. Enjoy the meal
more and worry less about the method of
payment.

Should a woman. pretend to have had
an orgasm even though she hasn't? |
have been sleeping with a wonderful man
for six months now and there are times
when, through no fault of his, 1 just
can't reach climax. I would like to be
completely honest and tell him so when
he asks; but I'm afraid if I do, he'll feel
—Miss O. C, Philadelphia,

adeg
Pennsyly

While a dite lie will flatter your
partner's feelings, you both ought to be
aware of the facts. Fact number one
is thet most women do not achieve
orgasm every time they have intercourse.
Your boyfriend ought to learn to be able
to accept. that information without suf-
fering from a bruised ego. Secondly, he
should know that constantly asking you
if you've climaxed—and m you
think you've hurt him if you haven't—
sim ply puts a continuing pressure on you
that could make it more difficult to have
an orgasm. Try to direct your bedroom
communication more toward the delights
of the trip and less toward your ultimate
destination

{Il reasonable question o fash-
ion, food and drink, hifi and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette
—will be personally answered. if the
writer includes a stamped. self-addressed
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi
gan Avenue, Chicago, Ilinois 60611. The
most provocative, pertinent queries will
be presented on these pages each month

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THE PLAYBOY FORUM

an interchange of ideas between reader and editor
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy”

A NUN'S ABORTION

lam the doctor whose challenge to
California's abortion law was successful
in 1969, when the state supreme court
declared the Jaw under which I was
convicted unconstitutional, Since my vic-
tory, I have received a good deal of hate
mail, some from physicians, often from
Catholics. Recently, I received a thank-
you letter from a woman who had ob-
tained a therapeutic abortion at our
clinic. She expressed her feelings so
beautifully that I feel her letter should
be shared. She happens to be a Catholic
nun

Today feels like the resurrection
of Christ, the resurrection of every
man, my own coming back to life
from death. Resurrection is a truth I
е taught for years and have be
dieved for years, but today I have
experienced it in my body, felt it
the core of my bei
reached out its hand
me, and through that touch, I was
healed and restored to life. .
My passion lasted for five days,
five days of suffering, hom the
moment the nurse told me on Mon-
day that I was pregnant until I
woke after the operation on Friday
and, at the moment of waking, knew
that everything was all right. Your
clinic staff was so kind to me. I was
sobbing on the operating table with
the tension of it all and, as the
nurse began to uncover my legs, I
heard the doctor say gently,
touch her until she is sle
E

ved as
when this
anived, I
s could force me to
give up my carcer for the arbitrary,

and
a nm for 20 у
moment of g
knew no

nccd

momentary wish of a man; and the
thought of the baby having to go
through orphanages and adoption
homes and foster parents was just
too much to bear. . . . It is rather
beside the point whether the act was
done in a moment of weakness or
through force. The same principle
applies—women need not be sla
thanks to the freeing and hı
power of your clinic.

May your work continue to reacli
those in need and, especially, some
day may you get funds to enable you

ing

10 treat me poor. You may use any
part of my letter for publicati
you may say that I am a Catholic
пип; but please withhold my name
and place of residence.

Leon P. Belous, M. D.
Beverly Hills, California

THE ABORTION GAP

With all the cheering about abortio
Jaw repeal in New York, Alaska and
Hawai, people may think the battle for
unrestricted abortion is won. Well,
hours before writing this letter, I ga
birth to a child whose father had a
doncd me, My many attempts to secure
an abortion had been unsuccessful due to
the law in my sine and my inability 10
make arrangements in time to
where else. I will place my ch
agency for adoption.

I had money and some idea of how to
go about getting an abortion. Even so, 1
failed. It breaks my heart to think whi
must happen to women without fina
resources when they get into this predica
ment. When will all 50 states open their
eyes and close the abortion gap?

(Name withheld by request)
Des Moines, lowa

1 with an

ABORTION AND THE SERVICE

The November 1970 Forum Newsfront
mentioned that the military now OKs
abortions. І am an Air Force lieutenant,
and last September, right after the D.
partment of Defense ruling on this, my

nd T sought an abortion for her at
ry hospitals in our state,
п doctors and at some mi
tary hospitals out of state. We found
that hospital commanders twist hospital
policy to thwart this directive, The De
partment of Defense stated explicitly that

“neither state laws nor local medical
practices will be a factor in making these
determinations.” However, a Navy hospi-

tal South Carolir
not break state laws,
York, whe

toll us, “We will
whereas in New
abortion is legal, we were
told. “State laws don't apply to us.”

It’s good old catch-22. They put a wall
up every way we turned. My wife finally
got an abortion in New York City and
we are now trying, without much hope
to get alterthe-fact reimbursement from
the Government, Regardless of enlight-
ened policy being promulgated from the
top, Service people seeking abortions
meet a very hostile reception,

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PLAYBOY

telephone number pub.
abled us to arrange
you. Please do

lished
the op
publish our names; both of our families
are violently opposed to abortion

ABORTION AND MEDICINE

Dr. Robert Hall, author of The Abor:
tion Revolution (ran, September
1070). once comnhored a scientilic pa
per on the causes of fetal death before
the onset of labor, expressing the hope
that medical advances would "reduce the
ante partum (etal mortality by one half."
Obviously, th ne when Dr

was à

Hall was deeply concerned with the pres-
life

ervation of intra е human
Now, he demands its destruction.

Hall wrote that “A wom
мє likely to die from preg

However, he withheld с
ble information: During the ре
1068-1960. England and Wales had 80
maternal deaths per 100,000. legal
tions. According to the British Medical
Journal, chis is “higher than the maternal
mortality rate for all pregnancies in Eng:

land and Wales at thc comparable time."
Sweden has 40 maternal deaths per
100,000 legal abortions, compared with a

U.S. marermalamortality rate of 28 per
100.000. In. New York Ci under the
new law that permits aboru request
there were ten deaths resulting from legal
abortions when the law had been in effect
less than four months, а rate of at least
10 per 100,000.
H ims that the proceduie of
legal abortion is medically very safe.
ical infor
he fails to. mention. those
ill become infected or s
sequently sterile: who will hemor
(eight percent of women obtaini
tions in Colorado needed оп
blood. transfusions): who will have their
uteri perlorated: who will h

fetal-maternal hemorrhage with the ас
companying long term difficulties; or who
will lı a result of the abortion. a

subsequent pathologie pregnancy (pre-
ture. kibor, ectopic pregnancy, placen
ta previa, etc). Dr. Hall also fails to
tion that there is a new rubella
vaccine that, with proper application
eliminate the danger of preg

» conrad
ing deformed fe
In contiast to Dr.
jority of physic
not in favor of abort
December 1965. the Nittional Opinion
Research Center found 83 percent of adult
ims opposed to abortion on de-
"Ihe Harris Poll of June 23, 1970,
dicated that overall only 10 percent of
the general public was in favor of abor-
tion on dew le 50 percent
opposed. In this same poll, 55 perc

I's statement, the
ns and laymen is
n on demand. In

FORUM NEWSFRONT

a survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philosophy”

THE DRAFT AS А FEMINIST PLOT

nosrox—Four men, indicted by a grand
jury for failing to report for military
induction, have challenged the constitu-
tionality of the 1967 Selective Service
det as a discriminatory law thal favors
vomen. Among the defense arguments is
the charge that “The classification of
women as unfit for military service is with-
out reason and unconstitutional” because
the exemption of females increases the
chances that any drafteligible male will
be inducted and sent to war

ANXIOUS AMERICANS

A study of 6672 Americans by the U.S.
Public Health Service indicates that.
mentalemotional stress is even more prev-
alent than some pessimistic observers
have suspected, and docs not always strike
hardest at the groups popularly thought
to be most susceptible, Among the sur-
vey's conclusions.

+ Nearly 20,000,000 Americans hauc
viher experienced a serious emotional
breakdown or [eel themselves close to the
edge.

* Several symptoms of stress are. epi-
demic—nervousness, nightmares, sweating
palms, headaches, dizziness, fast heartbeat,
trembling hands, insomnia, fainting and
inability to get started оп projects. Nine
от of ten women and seven out of ten
men have at least one of these symptoms,
and most subjects of both sexes have move
than onc.

* The “housewife syndrome" is even
worst than psychiatrists—or women's lib-
erationisis—clain. Most housewives with
children. not only feel trapped but ex-
hibit many more stress symptoms than
career women.

+ Single people are much less anxiety
prone than the married; the companton-
ship of marriage does not seem to com-
pensate for ils increased responsibilities
and problems

* If money doesn't bring happiness, it
at least decreases anxiety. Furthermore,
ignorance is not bliss, the simple rural life
is not happier than city living and middle-
class intellectuals ave not the most neurotic
people in our society. All stress symptoms
were mosi acule among those earning
less than 52000 per year, those with the
least. education and those laung im rural
areas, especially in the South. City dwell-
ers with advanced educations, earning
more than $10,000 per year, were the
least miserable of all groups.

Public Health Service researchers have
warned thal these findings do not nec-
essarily mean that the U.S. or the 20th
entury is particularly neurotic.
there has never before been a comparable

large-scale study, it is possible that any
nation in any century might reveal the
same torments. This just might be (he
normal human condition.

BETWEEN LOVE AND WAR
BALTIMORE—A Johns Hopkins Univer-
sity psychiatrist contends there is sound
scientific basis for the slogan “Make
Love, Not Wai Dr. Jerome Frank,
speaking at the university's symposium
on violence, discussed the similarities be-
tween the sex drive and aggressiveness in
human beings and speculated that great-
er sexual freedom would help provide
“the alternate nondestructive ways for
satisfying needs now met by violence.”

DEMOCRACY IN ACTION

LAWRENCE, KawsAs—Mhen a newly
elected justice of the peace announced
himself to be a Yippie-White Panther
dope pusher who had slipped into office
by merely getting on the ballot, Law-
rence, Kansas, faced ils greatest emergency
since the raid by Quantrill's guerrillas in
1863. The state attomey general stepped
in quickly and ruled that a state law
passed in 1968 abolished the justice-of-
the-peace office in many Kansas commu-
nities, including Lawrence. This may have
saved Lawrence from a hippie J. P. who
threatened, among other things, to marry
ling l.

homosexuals and to continur se
legal drugs, except heroin; but it also
abolished numerous other J.P. offices
throughout the state—and, thereby, void-
ed hundreds of marriages performed dur-
ing the past mee years. Though the
attorney general assured these couples
that they were still legally wed under
common law, Lawrence's ousted J.P-
elect generously promised to challenge the
attorney general's ruling for the sake of
justice and “a lol of bastard children
running around."

ALPINE COUNTY REVISITED
MARKLEEVILLE, CALIFORNIA—The Gay
Liberation Front has modified its plans
to take over Alpine County (“Forum
Newsfront" February). No longer do
the gay liberators intend to take com-
plete political control of the sparsely
populated county through special elec-
lions; instead, they hope to establish a
five-man governing board composed of
two homosexuals, one Indian, one pioneer
and one skier—a coalition they feel will
represent a cross section of the local popu
lation. “H will be more democratic that
way," said a spokesman for the C. L. F's
Alpine County Penetration. Committee
Meanwhile, in San Francisco, the Sexual
Freedom League has called on liberated

heterosexuals to integrate the proposed
colony. According to reports from Mar-
kleeiille, the county seat, Alpine County
residents remain unenihusiastic ut the
prospect of any sexually liberated migra-
lion, gay, straight or amy combination
thereof, and local real-estate dealers have
been returning property-purchase deposits
10 persons they believe to be homosexual.

‘TAMING BOISE

BOISE, IDAHO—/n a sweeping attack. on
licentious behavior, the Boise city coun-
cil has outlawed fornication, cohabita-
lion, promiscuity, loitering, nighttime
wandering, language that is abusive or
obscene and “anything that shall be
offensive to the senses or threatens the
peace and dignity of the city.” The new
ordinances, aimed primarily al prostitu-
tion, were passed over strong objections
by several. city-council members that the
laws invite “selective enforcement" against
any individual or group that might offend
the sensitivities of а policeman.

POSTAL PATERNALISM

WASHINGTON, D. Despite the recom-
mendations of the Federal pornogra-
phy commission and increasingly liberal
court rulings, Congress has authorized
the U. S. Postal Service to escalate its war
оп crolica. A provision of the Postal Re-
anizalion Act of 1970 now permils an
individual to notify the Postal Service that
he wishes ta receive no explicitly sexual
advertisements whatsoever. Postal authori-
lies are implementing the new law with
zeal and computers. Once a month, the
Postal Service will publish an updated
name-and-address list that must be pur-
chased by any direct-mail advertiser who,
by his own determination, sends out sex-
oriented ads, Soliciting anyone on the list
renders an advertiser liable 10 fiie. years
in jail and а $3000 fine. Moreover, any
mailings that do go out must carry the
printed warning, SEXUALLY ORIENTED AD.

оп

IN GOD WE TRUST (OR ELSE)
NEWARK, NEW JERSEY—A New Jersey
judge, citing the state constitution, has
ruled that a I girl would be
“deprived of the inestimable privilege
of worshiping Almighty God in a man-
ner agreeable 1o the dictates of [her]
conscience” if reared by nonbelievers,
and has ordered that she be taken from
the only parents she has known. Refus-
ing 10 formalize the adoption of the
child, Judge William J. Camarata held
that the foster parents, despite their
“high ethical and moral standards,” their
standing in the community and the fact
that they already have one adopted
child, were not qualified to adopt the
baby girl because they projess no belief
in a Supreme Being. The American Civil
Liberties Union immediately supported
the couple in filing an appeal—as did

the adoption agency, which said the
effect of the judge's action on the child
would be “injurious in the extreme;

ACADEMIC UNFREEDOM

Academic freedom, according to five
Jowa coaches, embraces the right to forbid
student athletes 10 wear long hair and
beards. AU Coe College in Cedar Rapids,
the student senate charged the school’s
athletic department with discriminating
against hirsule students by keeping them
off varsity teams. In apparent agreement,
the college president asked the depart-
ment lo “reevaluate and modify” its
policy, taking “due account of the changes
all around us” Calling this an infringe-
ment on academic freedom, the entire
coaching staff resigned.

THE SYMBOL OF FREEDOM
Symbolism is a primitive but effec-
tive way of communicating ideas.
The изе of ап emblem or flag to
symbolize some system, iden, insti-
tmiion or personalily is a shori cut
from mind to mind. . . . Compulsory
unification of opinion achieves only
the unanimity of the graveyard. It
seems trite but necessary 10 say that
the First Amendment to our Consti-
tution was designed to avoid. these
ends by avoiding these beginnings.
—U.S. Supreme Court
West Virginia Slate Board of
Education vs. Barnette, 1943

cnmcaco—The. Што division of the
American. Civil. Liberties Union will
challenge the constitutionality of the
state's. flng-desecration law. Citing an in-
crease in arrests. under this law, Dr.
Franklyn & Haiman. chairman of the
state A. C.I.U, said, “Ordinarily, our
sociely defines as criminal only those acts
that involve injury la persons or proper-
ty. The flag-desecvation laws that make it
illegal, as does the Illinois law of 1970,
to ‘mutilate, deface or defy’ the flag, or
to altach it 10 ‘any article of merchan-
dise; ате one of the few exceptions to
this general principle, and make punish-
able by a fine or jail sentence what are
essentially acts of communication.”

Haiman mentioned several cases. that
prompted the A. C. L. U. to battle the flag
statute, They included. a Volkswagen
painted in red, white and blue stars and
stripes and а decal with a peace symbol
superimposed on the Stars and Stripes.

Shortly after Haiman's announcement,
Chicago police arrested a wholesaler for
selling flag-decorated cockiail coasters and.
two shopkeepers for selling cigarette pa-
pers imprinted with a flag design,

In New York, a special three-judge
Federal court overthrew a similar state
law as an infringement on the right of
fice speech.

of women and 57 percent of black men
and we ere opposed. In June 1970,
RN. magazine found. 77 percent of 10
istered nurses to be opposed to abortion
on demand, In Minnesota in 1967, 95.7
percent of obstenician-gynccologists and
80.6 percent of psychiatrists were opposed
to abortion on demand. Finally, the study
by the Royal College of Obstetrician-

Gynecologists in the British Medical Jour-
nal rev

aled that 92 percent of physicians
ioned was opposed to abortion on
demand and 58 percent wanted the pre

ent British law amended to restrict cer
tain categories.
Dr. Hall states that distinguishing tl

truly desperate woman, overburdened by
urgent psychiatric problem, from th
merely inconvenienced woman facing an
everyday dilemma is “unimportant and
what's more ... none of my business.
Needless to say, the recognition of “an
urgent psychiatric problem" is impor-
tant! The responsible physician considers
this his business regardless of the dificul-
ties it may present.

lt must be said at this point that
human life docs c: in utero, and there
are few men who can appreciate this
better than Dr. Hall (though he now
may be hesitant to admit it). The т
spect for this life and its continuum
а basic desire of all men, howevei
pressed, and a basic need of society.

Ic is imperative that we stimulate our
communities to provide education, pre-
natal Lune for unwed
mothers. We must encourage parents to
be persistent in their efforts to teach
their children the beauty and

ust develop а more hum
rd the care and adoption of
children born out of wedlock. We must
promote the care of the physically handi-
capped and the mentally retarded. We
must urge the enlargement of counseling,

es and the guarantees of health

ude tow

care.
Our inaction to date is inexcusable,

but solutions

to these problems are with-
will not, however, be
imple y tums to expedi
ence as its doctrine. These problems will
be solved only by that society that chooses
to tolerate, to understand, to persevere, 10
be patient and to love.

Thomas W. Hilgers, M. D.

Rochester, Mi
Dr. Hall replies

How sophistical it is to suggest. that
my advocacy of voluntary abortion is
inconsistent with my hope for fewer
spontaneous. fetal deaths. Surety it’s ob-
vious that in the latier instance, the
pregnancies are wanted.

How misleading it is lo judge the
danger of induced abortion by use of
selected data [vom other countries. The
exceptionally high mortality rate from
abortions in Sweden, for example, is
unwersally attributed to the prevalence

PLAYBOY

there of later, more dangerous abortion.

How specious it is for Dr. Hilgers to
claim that 1 have withheld vital medical
information—when he selectively cites
surveys that show opposition to abortion
on demand and ignores another Harris
Poll that showed 61 percent of the public
in favor; a Modem Medicine poll that
showed 63 percent of physicians in favor;
and the November 3, 1970, referendum
in Washingion stale that legalized abor-
tion there by popular vote.

How intolerant it is to imply that 1
lack respect for life in general because 1
value the actual humanity of a woman
more than the potential humanity of a
fetus. While I would defend Dr. Hilgers
right to his point of view, at the same
time 1 would ask him to respect my right
to a different view.

1, too, believe in understanding and
love. Indeed, this is precisely why 1 favor
voluntary abortion, for the judicious in-
teyruption of unwanted pregnancies will
help to assure that every child will be
loved and understood.

BREEDERS AND SWINGERS

A letter published. in the Novem-
ber 1970 Playboy Forum states: “А few
people are well suited by temperament
nd talent to the raising of children,
they should be the ones to do
“The rest of us should be having sex
merely for fun, while making our contri
butions to society through our work.
The person who wrote this lewer may
not have noticed it but that's exactly the
way an ant colony or а beehive is organ-
ized—with a single female and several
males doing all the breeding, while the
rest of the population is sterile and does
all the work.

It worries ше

to think that anyone
magines human beings should organize
their lives in such a simple fashion.
People go through different stages in life:
At one stage, they to be career
oriented and engage in sex just for fu
At a later stage, it may be necessary
lor complete psychological fulfillment—
for people to become parens The
breeder/swinger dichotomy may su
sects, but it won't work lor hun
Charles Woods

New York, New York

HAPPILY MARRIED SWAPPERS
Many people declare that mate sw
ping is a symptom of a poor marital
tionship; however, such people usu-
ally lack firsthand knowledge. My hus
and and I are happily married, enjoy
sex together very much and also take
pleasure in the company and sexuality
of some of our friends, To say that you
like a person of the opposite sex but to
suppress sex attraction where it exists is
to impoverish your life. If a husband
and wife understand and accept cach
other fully, there is no reason why they

with others when
plenty of

shouldn't enjoy se

they want to—and there

reasons why they should.
(Name withheld by request)
Kansas Gity, Missouri

SEX FOR FUN

Even in this supposedly enlightened
y and age, countless writers and lectur
ers reiterate the notion that sex without
love is no good. Ir's naive to think that
love has to be involved every time two
people go to bed: for а marria
long-term relationship, love is
sable. but why shouldn't people who are

physically attracted to cach other enjoy
sexual intercourse just for the fun of it?
Unfortunately, this doesn't happen as

often as it should. because often onc or
both partners have this hang-up about
sex out of wedlock being immoral with-
ош deep emotional involvement and they
feel guilty if they indulge. The lack of
nplicity among people is discouraging.

David W. Reed

Bulond. Georgia

SWEATY SHEETS

п а column titled “Worry Clinic." in
the Colorado Springs Gazette Telegraph,
the author, an M. D, undertakes to an-
swer the query of an “anxious mother

Clara tells me she and her hus
band sleep in the nude! That
might be all right for toddlers, but
why would adult people act so juve
nile? Any experienced housewife
knows that the sheets thus get sweaty
wb soiled much quicker, so the
undry bills just run higher. Is this
nude sleeping just another evidence
of the younger generation's striking
back at the so-called establishment

The learned author confirms the moth-
eres worst suspicions and fears, Analyzing
the “hidden causative factors” of nude
sleeping, he declares that it is, indeed, an
attack on the establishment in the form
of mothers who made people wear
clothes as children and adds irrelevandy,
duly repressed kiddies may thes
transfer а lot of antiadult hostility into
breaking rules and attacking the police,
ay well as our capitalistic system.” People
have the notion that nudity is healthy.
says the doctor, but it isn’t. He warns of
"bugs. mosquitoes and scratches fom
brians” (in bed?). "Many young couples
get the erroneous idea that nudism helps
fan their eroticism,” says the doctor, But
he has а better idea about what's sexy:

Which do you think is most eroti-
cally exciting to а virile male? . . .
It is the wife in the flimsy or diaph-
anous nightie! For men combine
a desire for conquest with their
asic erotic hunger. And this is in-
creased by feminine fetishes, such as
a lacy nightie, plus the challenge to

disrobe the partially clad fem:
figure.

Dropping this тасу line of thought, the
good doctor switches to a more practical
note for his finale—the very note sound
ed by the “anxious mother”:

Young wives with little house-
keeping experience also fail to real
ize that nude sleeping produces
sweaty, oily sheets that zoom the
laundromat bills For pajamas and
nighties absorb these odorous exu-
dates and thus protect the sheets
longer

So, it tums out, sleeping in the nude
is bad politics, bad for the health, bad
for your sex life and tough on your

pocketbook. T laughed all the way to the
laundromat.

Kip Leight

Colorado Springs, Colorado

SEX IN PUBLIC
The increasing acceptance of
and sexuality, both in the medi

мапу
and

Man got along happily as pa
probably not wearing clothes
ad probably copulating in front of his
fellows—for about 4,000,000 years. About
13,000 years ago, civili
appear with the organized practice of
agriculture and, according to Freud,

every advance in ation has re
quired some repression of sexu
order to channel energy into w

the Book of Genesis, Adam and Eve

quire the knowledge of good and e
become ashamed of their
cover themselves and are condemned to
a lifetime of agricultural labor. Man the
food gatherer lived mostly by instinct,
but man the agriculturalist had to for-
mulate rules for living in a settled com:
munity—the knowledge of good and
evil. The medieval Christians were more
repressed than the Greeks а
and the Victorian era was the most 1
pressed time of all.

But а coumtertrend began during the
Renaissance and has reached an unprece-
dented peak today: the rediscovery of the
body. The nudity and sexuality first por-
trayed by Renaissance artists lor aristo
cratic patrons is now, throw
media, available to Technological
progress proi e hom labor,
once again making energy available for
sex. At the same time, the repressive
tendencies in civilization have grown
powerful and malignant enough to threat
en the human race with extinction, The
culture that the disciplining of instinas
made possible has certainly been a mixed
blessing. The reappearance of unrestricted
sexuality holds out the promise that hu-
man society is about to transcend the

edness and

h the mass

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Philadelphia, Pennsylv

PLAYBOY AS SEX EDUCATION

If doctors and ministers would hand
ош copies of PLAYBOY along with а mar-
i I think newlyweds would
nee of starting off on
the right foot. I was married at the age
of 16 and for years I didn't know that
there was such a thing as a female or-
gam (пог did I experience one). I
figured something was wrong with me,
since no one T knew complained about
not enjoying lovemaking. There was sim-
ply no one in this small, straitlaced.
ty to whom I could talk com
Had I known more about the
ntals of sex, 1 wouldn't have let
eight. years of married lile slip by with-
out trying to improve my sex life,

About à year ago, my husband started.
subscribing to rrivmov, and I've been
reading it, too. Both he and I have
become aware of what we ought to be
gening out of life sexually. Ive also
Deen enlightened by Playboy Press's re-
cent books The Sexual Revolution and
Masters and Johnson Explained, by
rivvwoy Assistant Managing Editor Nat
Lehrman. After years of ignorance, I've
found myself. You can bet I'm going to
supplement my two daughters’ educations
with copies of PLAYBOY.

(Name and address
withheld by request)

FROM PABLUM TO PLAYBOY
1 realized D was growing up when I
started to find the shortest of Readers
Digest articles too long and the longest
of rravsoy artides 100 short.
Clark 5 Hemphill
Palo Alto, California

ANTI-CENSORSHIP PETITION
The Sexual Freedom League has long

endorsed the eradication of censorship,
nd we are now urging acceptance of the
fidi of the Commission on Obscenity

and Pornography appointed by Pres

Johnson and repudiated by
Nixon. The Detroit chapter of the Sexual
Freedom League is circulating a. petition
supporting the commission's conclusions,
nd our ultimate goal is a nationwide
drive to awaken Congressmen lo the fact
that thousands of their constituents do not
share the Administration’s sexual hang-ups.
Jim Willert
Deuoit, Michiga

LOUD MINORITY

Listeners in Ontario heard one of To-
тошо radio stations, CHUM, broadcast
four twe-houy programs dealing with sex-
ual behavior. The moderator, Larry Sol-
way, а man with 12 years of phone-inshiow
experience, opened the lines for discus-

sion. People called in to talk about every-
thing [rom masturbation and oral sex to
nd impotence. A qualified M. D.
ioral therapist amd a woman

lc gram would have
da phone | Dr. Г
ben, author of Everything You 2
Wanted 1o Know About Se

‘The station h;
receiving severe criticism from some li
teners. The moderator then resigned i
protest. This may well have been one of
the most enlightened seri
ever attempted on 15
of people the chance ro discuss sexual
problems openly, brought to public atten
tion the large number of people who have
problems relating to sex amd it told
people how to get guidance on correcting
difficulties. How sad that a noisy [ew could
destroy something that helped so many.

Don Jackson
Toronto, Ontario

CROSS-CONTINENTAL SEX

As а man who has lived in both Eu-
зоре and the United States, I read with
great interest the lener in the November
1970 Playboy Forum from а woman who
wrote about the differences betwee
American men and European men
lovers. I heartily oppose her recommenda.
tion that single American women skip off
to Europe. American women
Luge, tou iupaticnt ty accept tlic
ried lovemaking of the typical European
male. The result is that berws
American women and European men is
often disappointing to both.

With the dedine of
America, there
American males who show signs of pa-
Hence, wit and security and who are
aciually interested in women as people.
These men will satisfy the similarly ori-
ented women who don't want to split for

оре. These two kinds of people us
ally find each other.
(Name withheld by request)
Oslo, Norway

SEX OBJECTS

A letter published in the December
1970 Playboy Forum dec
the psychoanalytical term "object
scriptions of. human love and
anyone who says nothing wrong
with this usage must never have been in
love himself. Buc Freud developed his
theories by continuously observing his
own feelings as well as by studying
his patients, and if anyone understood
subjective emotions, it was Freud. TI
is why his students continue to be criti
cal of behaviorism's ellort to remove
from psychology the reality of subjective
experience.

Freudian u
ence of love a
Love c

minology
not mutually exclu
‘joyful merging,”

nd the experi-

be a

December letter writer says, and still be
subjected, in wide-eyed curiosity, 10 the
question, Why? Certainly, scientific in.
quisitiveness is as human an emotion as
any other. To argue that. psychoanalytic
terminology prevents the enjoyment of
emotions is to claim that Leonard Bern
score prevents

njoyment of music
Richard Stanton
Statesboro, Georgia

BIBLE TRUTHS
An advertisement for a pamphlet pub-
lished by The People's Gospel Hour here
а Scoti "st the
duction of sex education in our sdh
and tells parents to ask themselves:
"Who will be teaching our children sex
education? Can we be sure that the
teachers will have a Bible evaluation of
the sanctity of sex and will seck to pro-
ote Bible morality? Will there be
chance of the ‘new morality’ being taught
in the sex-education. program
Good questions. folks. Here are some
more good ones: Can we be sure that the
teachers of biology. geology and astrono-
my will have a Bible evaluation? Will
they teach that cach species was created
separately, that all life appeared он
arth in six days, that the sun was cre-
ated after the carth and once stood still
in relation to the earth to create а 98.
hour day and tiat (wo specimens of
cach living species were once crammed
into a single small boat Will there bc
any chance of the "new scienc
taught in general education progra
(Name withheld by г

Shearwater, Nova Scoti

warns aga

ECOLOGY AND TECHNOLOGY

In the September 1970 Playboy Forum.
Gary Reed complained that it is wrong
for PLAYBOY to encourage luxury con-
sumerism when the earth's resources are
dwindling. Reed also urged a return to
the simple life as a way of restoring
ecological balance

In your rebuttal, amid a flood of fiery
eloquence, you reply at length to Reed's
second point and entirely ignore his first
point. 1 would like 10 debate PLAvnov's
gument (for example, 1 doubt
that our present resources provide a de-
cent life for nearly 50 percent of the earth,
as you say they do, or that they can pro
vide this for 100 percent in the near fu
ture, as you say they will, etc.) but, more
important, T would like you to answer
Reed's first point. If you will admit that
PLAYBOY encourages luxury consump:
tion, and if you admit that the resources
of cath are finite (not infinite), then
the exact details of Reed's solution and
your rebuttal are irrelevant. You
guilty, as he charged, of contributing to
the growing ecological disaster.

Why don't you simply admit your cr-
ror, join the conservationists and do the
world a favor by helping it to survive?

Tm sure you don't want to become a
dogmatic fossil of the past, so why not
change?

Mike Morgan
Glendora, California

While we share your concern with
ecological imbalance, we also think that
the technological-ecological problem must
be stated correctly before it can be solved.
The iden that the “earth's resources are
dwindling” is a metaphor, nota fact, and
ıt is a metaphor that, taken literally. has
confused many well-meaning persons. The
law of conservation of energy, in Hin-
ein' formulation, assures us that mat-
ter and energy ave identical and cannot
be destroyed, only transformed. Our prob-
lem is nol vanishing resources but mis
used and misapplied resources. Although
this is known to all college physics stu-
dents, the metaphor of waste has so сар-
tured our imaginations that most of us
misunderstand what is actually happening.
John McHale points out in “The Future
of the Future":

PLAYBOY

We do not produce things in the
sense of manufacturing them out of
new raw materials only, and then
consume. them so that their constitu-
eni materials по longer exist. . . .
Very litle has been known about
the actual reuse and discard cycle in
metals. . . . The obscurity of this
pattem leads many authorities to
talk about metals being used up
through — manujactuse
effect, most metals are almost wholly
recoverable, or could be with ade-
quate cycling design.

when, in

The President's Science Advisory Com-
milter report on “Restoring the Quality
of the Environment" notes, [or instance:

About 957 000 tons o] copper were
recovered from scrap in 1963, This
represented about 40 percent of the
total supply of copper in the U.S. for
that year and 80 percent of the total
copper produced by domestic mines,

In I Seem to Be a Verb,” R. Buck-
minster Buller estimates that we have
entered a phase of technology in which
metals may be melted down and reused
every 2214 years, He takes an even broad
er view m "Utopia or Oblivion":

The first constituent of wealth—
energy therefore irreducible. . . .
Every time man uses the second con-
stituent of wealth—his know-how—
This intellectual vesource automatical:
ly increases.

Energy cannot
edge can only increase.

Ti is therefore scientifically clear
that wealth which combines energy
and intellect can only increase.

Neither v these write
imply that there is no ecological piob-
lem at present; indeed, Fuller, the

60 President's committee and McHale are

We nor

deeply concerned with solving the very
real crises of resources. Bul il is not a
disaster in which the universe is being
eaten up by man; il is a siluation in
which the universe is being misused by
man. Air pollution, for instance, is
merely matter in the wrong place (ie
in human beings); the same chemical
elements would be useful if recycled
away [тот the lungs. This distinction is
nol trivial or merely semantic: the wrong
statement of the problem is one of the
causes of continuing the problem. Politi-
cians usually believe in the finite nature
of veal resources, in the Malthusian doc-
trine that most people must starve or
otherwise perish хо that a few can sur-
vive and in the vulgar Darwinism that
pictures the world as a struggle for
“survival of the fittest.” To quote Fuller
agni

Tt is very logical that man should.
fight to the death when he thinks
Mieye's not enough to go around.

In a fire, he loses all reason, goes
mad, and tramples his fellow men to
death as he competes for air

I іх also very logical that man
won't fight when he knows there's
enough to go around.

As for Fullers thesis that the standard
of living possessed by the richest one
percent of the population in 1900 was
shared by 45 percent by 1965, this is
backed by a collection of statistics that will
quiet all your doubts, if you will examine
his works at length. Fuller's prediction
that this acceleration of luxury will reach
100 percent of humanity within the next
30 years is, of course, less certain. We
might blow up the planet instead—as sug-
gested in his title "Utopia or Oblivion.”
That latter course, however, ts most likely
to occur if people continue to believe
wealth is eternally limited and must be
fought over. The graph from 1900 to
1965 projects forward to reach 100 per-
cent in 2000 Aw., but this is based on the
assumption. that efficiency of machinery
will increase only from the present average
of 1 percent to 12 percent in that. time.
Theoretically, it might jump to 90 per-
cent (and it might do so in halj the lime),
Jen such large jumps are characteristic of
modern technology.

This utopia is, however, quite impossi-
ble if people continue to think in anti-
quated Malthusian-Darwinian terms, for
every altruist who wants to split up the
existing wealth equally will be matched
hy а conniving egotis who wants to grab
as much of it as possible [or himself.
Only when the reality of abundance for
all is clear to all will the worst form of
waste—warfare—be abandoned by na-
tions. Man's nalural desire for material
well-being (and for recreation and luxury,
as well) is neither sinful nor imposible
to satisfy. The situation of modern man
is comparable with that of. two men
fighting over a glass of waler in the

midst of а зачот: Gury Reed and you
see the good water seemingly going to
аме in the mud and cry owt that we
тихі conserve the water in the glass
move carefully. We are calling attention
to the downpour, and to the ways of
regaining the water that seems, but is
nol really, lost in the mud.

PLAYBOY'S IMAGE OF WOMEN
Most members of women’s liber

have been called but

would be more accui

touch of envy involved in some wom-
en's lib attacks on rtAvnoy. I agree with
feminists who want to remain feminine,
but these are not the women who join
the extreme factions of the women’s lib
movement, If I were one of the shrill
witchy members of these fringe groups, 1,
100. would Linch an all-out attack оп
the image of the freeswinging woman
PLAYBOY projects. 1 mean, knowing that
men enjoy the company of well propor
med, welldressed women who wear
bras if their figures require them, the
women’s lib types are rebelling against
ive because they know they can't fit
lo the picture.

As ап 18
ther spend
and happy than
demonstrations.

old feminist, I would
ny time keeping my hus
tending bra-burning

Arevalo
fornia

WOMEN's (AND MEN'S) LIBERATION

Тат an engineer and а happily mar
ried man. I would gladly support the
women's lib movement if the
concerned were actually willing to do
equal work for equal pay amd if they
re truly concerned. with equal. justice

wor

ieu

to be the case. I have never seen
n truck driver or taxi driver who
n't use her sex as
some of the heavy

lifting occasion

connected with those occu
amy women's lib leaders
applying for the very high-paying jobs iu

heavy industry that require truly hard
work. The literature of this movement
never seems to discuss the most. blatant
a of sexual discrimination in our
whole sociery—the one in which the man
is the victim—the divorce aren E
most seems that every judge has to be
prejudiced a he c
assigned to divorce court. Ошу whi
ed ta share equally the
ad child support, and ac
n of property, will
ends for equality

cept a [air
D assent to th
elsewhere.

Robert J. Johnson
Wichita, Kan

POPULATION CONTROL IN THE AIR
Just а few y 0, we airline stew
had to fight for the right to get

Hold this ad
up to your

Not a sound, right?

You won't geta peep out of any
other stereo ads in this magazine,
either. Just the same pretty pictures
and technical facts.

That's why there's 101 one way

your ear will tell you.

We say this because we're confident
you'll be impressed when you hear
a Sylvania stereo. Our stereos sound
as good as they look.

Take the matched component
system, MS210W, over on the right.
That turntable is automatic, with cueing
and anti-skate controls. It's precisely matched
toa Sylvania solid state FM Stereo/ FM/AM
receiver.

Inside, where you can't see it, is a solid state
amplifier that delivers 5O watts of peak music
power to that pair of air suspension speakers.
Which sound as good as standard speakers two
sizes larger. Especially when they hit those
important low bass notes. And since they put
out wide-angle sound, you can sit almost any-
where in the room and get the full stereo effect.

But don’t believe a word you read. Hearing
is believing. Go listen toa Sylvania stereo
before you buy.

Then, when you hear our price, you'll believe.

SYLVANIA

PLAYBOY

married and to retain our jobs which
the ай пе companies finally grudgingly
conceded. They still insist, however, on
firing us immediately in the case of
nancy. In some instances, our hus-

ids are students or are just starting
their careers, and our salaries me the
major source of the family income.

The companies have the right to fire
us if от professional performance is
below standard, but they have по more
right 10 deny us motherhood than to
deny us wifehood. What archaic thinking
allows а corporation to take total control
of the reproductive Lives of its employee

Have you ever heard of a man being
fired for becoming a father?

«n Miller
an Francisco, California

THE BUILDERS OF AMERICA
Tronworker William J. Kelly claims
1 his kind of people worked to build
s country (The Playboy Forum, De-
cember 1970). But the Sons of Liberty,
the Minutemen and the founding fathers
were people very similar to the “protest
cas. demonstrators, longhairs and such"
whom Kelly abhors.
Charles Hullman
University ol P usburgh
Pittsburgh,

William J. Kelly seems proud of the
courage of his fellow ironworkers in mili-
ary combat. Even so, the courage of the
5 he suecrs at as “Title darlings” sur-
pases that of his narrow-minded crowd.
Ш Kelly's stint with the Ким Division
taught him that pauriotism is killing un-
armel longis, then he can take his
plastic hat and shove it. Removing the
ag first, of course.

Steve. Nichols
Rome, Georgia

FASCISM VS. CAPITALISM
y of the young 1

als of the
ight with

from leftist totalitarianism:
dictatorship by a political elite, ruling by
force. The only valid right-wing ideal is
capitalism and there is no coercion
volved in true ire capitalism.
jously, is not the brand of
now practiced in Western
ics Our present politicalcco-
nomic system is based on the assumption
that people in need have an uncamed
right 10 share in the product of another
man's ability. Welfare, public housing,
foreign aid and the redistribution of
Ith through graduated. income taxes
only a Tew ways in which this as
sumption manifests itself, Those who
work hard, produce and, thereby, e.
livings are actually penalized for their
own ability; a portion of their carnings
is forcibly taken from them to support
indolent, unproductive people.

in-
is

adu

“To cach accord
irrational, altruist
мими, “To each according
is the only rational, moi

to his need" is an
on for par
to his ability
ıl and practical
ciety сап be

Paul T. Apps
Cooksville, Outario

SLAUGHTER OF THE INNOCENTS
Former Attorney General Ramsey Clark
wrote а provocative article. When Punish-
ment Is a Crime (ролувох, November
1970), but he appears to have fallen for

a traditional racist tap by decluing
mental reuirdation to be more prevalent
in minority groups. In stating that revir-

dation is "approximately five times more
common in the ghetto,” Clark js clearly
dealing in unproved. speculation, for the
standard intelligence tests were developed
for white «еп and are culturally
biased toward white norms, especially in
vocabulary. Thus, many of the black diil
dien who are classified as retarded may
hot, in fact, be retarded: the only thing
being measured. may be the inability of
the tests to deal with nonwhites.

Ido not believe Clank intended to
convey an atitude of white supremacy,
bat he has unknowingly contributed (о
the chauvinist purdown of black intelli-
gence.

Jason Brody

Lockport Area Specia

Cooperative.
Lockport, Illinois
That ghetto conditions produce an in-

ordinate amount of mental retardation
among the young is demonstrated not
only by intelligence tests (possibly inade-
quate) but also by numerous supporting
studies of the effects of poverty npon
small children. As Rodger Hurley indi-
cates in his “Poverty and Mental Retarda-
поп":

Education

Because of our society's failure to
provide a suitable human environ-
ment for all its citizens, the children
of the poor (who offer the same
beauty and the same human poten-
tial as children. from other socio-
economic classes) have a much greater
chance of becoming prostitutes, ju-
venile delinquents, criminals, un-
employed—or mentally retarded. Too
many children of the poor become,
inevitably, waste products of a sub-
human existence,

Although much oj the harm done by
poverty is psychological and reversible,
some is physiological and irreversible. As
Hurley states further (documenting each
assertion in his footnotes):

Poor nutrition—a condition di.
rectly related to poverty—is among
the most significant causes of the
organic damage that may lead to
mental velardation. Some experts be-

lieve that malnutrition їп а preg-

nant woman can cause permanent
physiological damage to the brain of
the fetus. There is strong evidence
that malnutrition plays a vole in
prematurity and that there is a high
correlation between prematurity and
birth defects, including mental telar-
dation. There is alsa impressive ei
dence that severe malnutrition of an
infant can cause irremediable brain
damage,

It is true that some black children are
misdiagnosed as retarded when they sim
ply have a different type of culturally
trained intelligence. I is also true that
some black children (and some white
children) are so misdiagnosed when they
actually have emotional malad justments
or psychoses. But a large percentage of

hello retardation cases is real and is
caused by malnutrition. To recogni

this is not racist but merely honest; and
to soften the uth, out of fear that the
facts can be misused by racists, is to allen
poverty to comlinue this dreadful slauzh-
ter of the innocents on a scale that Herod.
never dreamed of.

THE MILITARY LIFE

As а veteran of the Kor
heen amused by the various comp!
in The Playboy Forum about m
injustice ng from the banning of
flower and peace symbols 10. unconstitu
tional pot busts to stacked courts
and My amusement
stems fiom the fact that most of the
letter writers feel that the Armed Forces
are basically good or necessary and that
s only certain rules (or people) that
must be changed 10 make the Services fit
for human beings.
‘This misses the essence of m
mat the military man is little more
than a slive. He may believe he's been
given a rifle and uniform in order to
defend individual freedom, rights and
dignity—these things ave what this coun-
ty is all about, aren't they? Instead, he
depi I those values he suppos-
«Шу holds dear and finds t
the people in command f
loathe any kind of individualism.
c American

brutal

stockacles,

itary life

d of a

natically

war machine simply
conuadicts everything for which this
country used to stand. Indeed, we've
gained such freedom as we now have

only by keeping our military somewhat

control. But since World War
Two, military power has grown enor-
mously and, today, it lays daim to the
freedom and life of many young Ameri-
can males, This country has become a
house divided against itself, which is the
reason for such turmoil in our strecis. In.
my opinion, the peace movement is the
only cure for this autho
our body politic

John Fitz
Chicago. Ill

SENIOR-CITIZEN SERVICE
1 propose drafting only males over 50
years of age, prior service notwithstand-
ing. Physical standards would be very
high and anyone not meeting these
lards would be placed in a £F cate-
gory but would be subject to re-cxamina-
tion every six months, Those men over
50 who are drafted would be released
from all moral, familial, social aud finan-
cial obligations. The period of service
would be five years and those discharged
would receive full p allowances.
Should death occur during service, the
draftees estate would receive 550.000.
Young men have no business light.
wan; let the studs stay home and
old goats the heedom they have cimed.
Those older guys wouldn't. care
idi about the purpose of the war
of the over-50s Гуе talked 10 seem i
ested in the rationale for being in Vie
nam. The five-year military stint alter 50
might actually be a rejuvenating
ence for a man. unless he got blasted
prematurely. Of course, there would
have t0 be an international treaty super-
vised by the United Nations to make
a that all countries agree to un-
ah against one another no soldi

more puissant than their old

By the way, Tam the father of five
nd I served in the Army from 1941 to
ША

Ralph "Taylor
St. Charles, Missouri

MILITARY JUSTICE
Having spent four years in the Army
as an officer. 1 speak from experience on
the subject of military justice. One of my
most vivid memories is a discussion after
a courtmartial in which T had acted as
comnsel for the defense. One of the five
ally unbiased officers on the board
told) me that he knew my dient was
guilty before the trial. When T asked
how he had known this. he replied,
Itindly, that he had been tokl so by the
accused man's commanding officer and
that was all the assinanee he needed,
Brim Scally
Portland, Oregon

THE BIG EYE

In response to recent articles
eek amd The New York
student chapter of the
Computing Machinery of the University
ol Massachusetts has adopted the follow-
ing position paper:

in News-

Times, the

Association for

We view with alarm and distres
the cancerous growth of computer
data banks in the arcas of credit
reference and Government informa-
tion storage. No one knowledgeable
in the area of computers and their
applications can deny the impor
tance of computers to our society

nd the benefits derived from them.
However, for every technological ad-

vance whether it be computers, au-
tomobiles or the —there also
exists a danger of irresponsible use.

Government and creditrelerence-
compar banks can contribute
ighly beneficial and valuable serv-
ices to society. However, they must
be used and designed safely... .
One need only read d.
and na ies to become
aware of the callous and irresponsi-
ble conduct of some credit-reference
companies that by incompetence
have maligned innocent people.
This flagrant misuse of the comput-
er and computer technology is often
blamed on the computer itsell,
which has no voice to lift in its own
defense.

The reason for our concern is
threefold. First, we believe the prob-
lem is going to get infinitely worse.
Second, we feel that we have a
moral obligation to warn the public
and urge that action be taken before
it is too late. And third, we fear
that, in the end, it will be the poor,
orant computer that will be
blamed instead of those persons who
e primarily responsible for the im-
pending holocaust.

Any system that is designed to
store private information on people
must put as its primary objective
the protection of those people. John.
Q. Public should be informed when
he den computer,
the right periodically to inspect
record and. if it is incorrect.
the appropriate action to correct it.
There cannot. be and must not be
secret, unavailable files ef date on a
person in a democratic society... .
For what purpose should а person
be denied the right to view a record
of his past—whether it be bill pay-
ng or personal history? Alter all, if
the information is correct, he is
aware of it already. If not, why not
giv nce to correct il be-
fore untold harm сап be done? It
would scem to us that it would not
ny undue problems to

ional mag;

is stored i

create
quire all non-governmental agencies
having data files on. individu:
notily those individuals and periodi-
cally (perhaps semiannually) send
out a copy of this information to
them for their corrections. Also, at
any time, an individual should be
able to request a copy of his file to
review his record. He should also be
notified if there is any change of
status in his record (for example, if
his credit eing drops to а lower
level) and informed. of the reason
for this. If errors are noted and he
receives no snisfacti to their
correction. a court case is in order.
As for Governmemal agende
such as IRS, Census Bureau, ctc,

they should be able to gather all
needed information to accomplish.
their jobs. However, tight restriction
should be placed on them for sccuri-
ty. For example, ... a computer sys-
tem can easily be designed to protect

vinst outside access, For the pre-
vention of an internal breach of
security, individuals working within
these agencies should be
ernment Clearances and should fall
under the laws covering any d
gence of information connected with
that clearance. . . .

We also feel that a Government
commision should be set up with
broad powers to regulate these agen-
jaws should be
passed to provide for the rights and
safety of uals in. connection
with these data banks.

Albert Zukatis
Amherst, Massachusetts

given Cov-

ul-

THE NO-KNOCK LAW

I agree totally with the let
published from the National. Committee
10 Preserve the Bill of Rights in the
November 1970 Playboy Forum. Senate
bill $3246. in particular, by allowing the
police to raid one's apartment. without
first identifying themselves, is a long step
toward abandonment of the Constitution,
As former Supreme Court Justice Robert
H. Jackson said of a similar law. "We
meet in this case, as in many, the appeal
to necessity. It is said that if such arrests
and searches cannot be made, law enforce
ment will be more dillcult and. uncer-
tain. But the forefathers. after consulting
the lessons of history, desigued our Con-
stitution to place obstacles in the way
of a too-perme:iting police surveillance,
which they seemed to think was a greater
danger to a free people than the escape of
some criminals from punishment

To give up our right to privacy in our
homes, because the police say they c
not function under the Constitution as it
was written, is to trade our freedom for
security. This is a bad bargain. It is not
just the doors of "bad. people" that be
come vulnerable such a Law. Your
door becomes vulnerable, too
Goshon
Vacaville, California

you

MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION

We have noted with interest your po:
tive stand regarding the need for а new
ind more humane a ch to mari-
smokers, Our о

ane approach is to make th
drug as legal as alcohol. We feel th

tinued сопу to enforce. anti-m:
laws will only increase Ше pola
within our society and that lega

con
juan:
iration

PLAYBOY

mus be enacted at once. We

mediate release of all. penons
under court sentence for simple possession
of marijuana. and, further, urge that all
records of those convicted. under present
iws be expunged, so these per

statutes
seek the

sons m ter society without the
onus of c records.
SLAM is nonviolent and neither ad-

i any way assists in the use
ч

vocates nor

of marijuana while curr

it are still in effect
SLAM
San. Francisco, Califor

u laws а

MARIJUANA AND REVOLUTION

Your editors should walk proudly after
publishing the November 1970. Playboy
Forum editorial on marijuana: penal
Millions of other Americus would like
to speak out with equal boldness on this
subject’ bur do not dare to because am
indiscrect word can bring investigations.
assments, insurance cancellations, poor
redit ratings and loss of jobs or scholar
ships. Many Americans ache to speak out

and are grateful to you for speaking iu
their behalf.
If others would join you—il derg

men, educators, Liwyers, politicians and
other influcmial people would
publicly that marijuana prohibition is
cownterproductive as was alcohol proh
biion—there might be some hope for
this country. Todays potheads і
ther joining the revolution or waich
with passive glee as each hated emblem.
of the establishment is bombed. They
might come back into the held of ortho-
dox politics, and constitutional reform
might replace guerrilla warfare as the
hope of youth. but only if other public
voices speak out as bravely as
Robert Patterson
Charlotte, North Carol

AY BOY

MARIJUANA PENALTIES

PLAYBOY set an excellent example with
the November 1970 Playboy Forum edi
torial opposing the existing. marij
laws, amd D am happy to see that the
example has already been imitated. The
distinguished Washington Ром wrote as
follows on
and on the miji:

a pan se

laws.

a Virgin
1 gene

Yet for this offense, the Common-
wealth of Virginia proposes to de.
stroy Larry Miller. To put a youth

n prison for four years at what is a
most impressionable and formative
period of his lile, to cut him olf
from all the normal experiences of
young manhood—hom a colle
jon, fom asodaion with his
peers, from the sustenance of his
family. from all hope of a
ad healthy relationship w
o brand him forever a cri 1
and impair his chances of employ.
ment for life, to subject him in jail
to the influence of older, hardened

е ed-

normal
ih pis

criminals and. quite possibly. to
homosexual assault and corruption
chat is to be said for a society
that would wreak such cruel and
barbarous vengeance on a youth?
What sense does it make, what pur-
pose does it serve even from the
point of view

lı some mea
ure of sobriety and proportion. Let
them, if they are genuinely con-
vinced that marijuana is more harm-
ful than tobacco or alcoholic liquor,
provide penalties for those who mer-
chandise the stuff, But only а com-
munity itself hallucinated with horror
stories would put its youngsters in
prison for the lolly of smoking
reefer.

Johu Robinson
Washington. D.C

TRIAL PERIOD FOR GRASS

Since the abolition of our marijuana
laws is as controversial as the abolition
of capital punishment, why dont we
apply the same logic in both cases? In
d and in a number of American
tes, before capital punishment was
there was а trial period in
which it was suspended. 1 suggest that
instead of maintaining the present pot
ws (which haven't stopped pot smok-
g but have ruined countless young
lives). or decreasing penalties (a relorm
is both too little and too latc), or
lizing the drug at once (a radical

abolished,

proposal that most of the country
would oppose). we should attempt a
tinHegulization period of two years

Within that time, апуопе could turn. on
in his own home (but not in the streets,
during working hours or while driving)
Pol

heads should invite police, sociolo
is, psychiatrists, clergymen and other
ervative groups to attend. these par
ties, either as participants or as observers
M the end of two years, Congress ew the
decide whether to suspend the por laws
pently or to reinstate them

Morgan. Balch

Oswego, New York

ретп

MARIJUANA AS THERAPY
‘The following letter has been published
by the American Journal of Psychiatry:

Despite the fact that there are
many arguments for and against the
use of methadone on a rophiyla
ticmaimtenance basis for heroin ad
dicts. even il it should prove to be
of assistance in the normalizing or
regularizing of only 50 to 60 percent
of those placed on a program, that
would be at least 40 to 58 perce
greater interdiction of the we of
heroin than is likely through the use

of any other current method. By
ig the rea

area, 1 would like to propose and

recommend :in experimen
There is, among hippies
other common drug uses, а

quently found clinical phenomenon.
Senerally speaking, marijuana and
alcohol ave cither mutually exclusi

agents or, when used together, the
amount of cach used is ordinarily
considerably less than that which

ployed when each is used

ely another of the rapidly
shifting transitional patterns within
the drug subcultures, I am not pre-
pared to say ar the present time, lt
may represent merely the revolt of
the younger drag users acculturated
against the older alcohol-dominated
establishment. Nonetheless. а rather
obvious suggestion presents itself that
may have the same homeopathic
premises that bode well for the meth
adonesubstitution program.

What I am proposing is that a
serious study (or studies) be under.
ken within and /or among selected
groups of the estimated 10,000,000
to 15,000,000 alcoholics, on a model.
Program basis, to induce many ol
these alcoholics to switch to, or be
come habituated to, marijuana in
stead of alcohol. Obviously, there a
many possible pitfalls in such а pro-
gram.

Alcoholism is far
most serious drug problem in terms
of personal debility and human and
physical destructiveness. Clearly, one
runs the risk of aleoholicsiuyned
potheads becoming caught up in the
drug culture as a whole, which
might then lead 10 more complicit
nd elaborate drug experiments.

and

away ош

the meant should pilot
s prove the feasibility of such
an experiment, it is quite likely, I
would feel, that at least а number ol
those tuned оп to marijuana from
alcohol might very well remain lim

ited to this notterribly-noxious
dru
One might still be confronted

with the problems of apathy. quitt.
ism, abulia, and loss of ambition or
drive, which are common to those
who have become seriously habitu
ed ro rhe use of marijuana. Bur
these would surely be no worse than
the similar findings already extant

in the alcoholic population. They
would also be less disturbing than
the frequently psychopathic and /or

and sclf-destruc-
m

violent, combative
tive feat

es found. y progres
sive alcoholics. As a grim side light.
it should be remembered ihat 50

Sure Silva Thins 1005 have less "tar"
than other Thins, even less than most Kings:
But even better: Silva Thins have taste.
America's first thin cigarette is the one with real flavor.

1 ay EN 8 3

“AccOROING TO THE LATERI з. GOVERNMENT FIGURES.

PLAYBOY

utomobile and plane ac-
puted co alcohol, as
0 percent of all arrests for
whatever reason.

‘The above suggestion is not made
lightly and it is hoped that it will
not be taken so. No current program
for treatment of alcoholism despite
the Claims of its sponsors—handles
more than a very few selected cases,
nor handles those very effectively for
very long. for the most part

percent of a
cidems i

Scher, M. D., Director
tric Foundation
lytic Institute

MARIJUANA MENDACITY

Your readers may wonder why some ol
the worst horror stories of barbari
jiana penalties come from Texas. One
of the reasons is the kind of education
that is provided here, 1 quote hom а
story in The Dallas Times Herald, in
1 police olheer is described display
of marijuana to a group of

which

[He] began to move through the
crowd from table to table showing
the contents af the small box. .
The officer worked his way to а small
boy who h
with his parents. "This st

| come to the meeting
ff can kill

you, son, Have you ever seen it
before?”
“No, me the meck reply,

“I know a boy who smoked this
stufi. He fell over and hit his hc
and was killed,

[The boy] was impressed. So were
his parents. So were many other
people in the room.

1 have worked on the still of a promi
nent local politician, and it appears to
me that when any subject is discussed
in public—nor just thugs but any
als of local. state and
governments are almost. always
longer I stayed in polities, the
ud | discovered, 1 understand
fully the fury and disgust of our youth.
As “Tennessee Williams once wrot
"Mendacity is the system in which we
live.”

ng. Tl
more fı

(Name withheld 1
Dallas, Texas

y request)

MARIJUANA ADDICTION

e been interested in

your cam-
nist the | juana laws
country. 1 t olten the
punishments do nor fit the crimes. but I
feel that you underest
of € w two years (though I
now use nothing), | was a heavy mari-
juana smoker. 1 can tell you that,

case, the drug was thoroughly add
I craved it. I lived for it—and such

e the dangers

nnabis.

psychological dependence is just as bad
as physical need, though somewhat easier
to alleviate. It took concentrated. elfort
and many hard weeks to kick my habit.
For two years, Cannabis imprisoned. my
soul—contrary to my will and everything
I believe in. I'd say that's pretty danger-

ous.

(Name withheld by request)
Tucson, Arizona
A similar account of addiction to a
Cannabis drug, hashish, is given in an
autobiographical work. “The Hashish
Eater” by the 19th Century American
writer Fitz Hugh Ludlow: no other ac
count of Cannabis use leading to such
dependeney can be found. Noting that
Ludlow was greatly influenced by Thomas
De Quincey's “Confessions of an English
Opium-Eater" In. Robert S. De Корр
writes in his “Drugs and the Mind”:

No one would deny thal De Quin-
cey had good reason to wring his
hands over his condition. Opium
addiction is а serious matter and De
Quincey was an addict in the fullest
sense of the word. But when Ludlow
starts sighing aud groaning over his
enslavement lo hashish, the reader
who is familiar with the properties
of the drug will lift a skeptical eye-
brow. There is no such thing as
genuine addiction to hashish or any
other preparation of Cannabis. . . .
It is, by all unbiased accounts, even
less habit-Jorming. than tobacco. . ..
One would not, however, wish lo be
so unkind as to suggest that Ludlow
was a har, It is sufficient if we
realize that he suffered from hyper
trophy of the imagination.

In short, such experiences as yours and
Ludlow's reveal more about the power of
autexnggestion than about the specific
properties of Cannabis drugs.

FACTS ON SPEED
The September 1970 Playboy Advi-
misinformation on
mphetamines.
nswer dealt only with the
intei patterns of am
d. neglected the con-
ces of the more current high-dose
cvdicabinjection pattern. In point of
fact, the slogan "Speed kills” is valid.

Tr is rue that only a few die from
direct overdosige (our research wits able
to identify only 11 California de:
amphetamine overdose in the past three
y
morbidity and mor
effects, Such as hepatitis, infection and
violence. Speed was a major [actor
turning Haight-Ashbury into a violent
drug ghetto. In addition, a number of
the white, middle-chss junkies who now

the
The Advisor's
low-dlo
phetamine misu:
seque

nce

fom

„ bur a much number. suffer

тег
ity from secondary

domin ht began using heroin
a downer for their anxiety and. paranoi
x Smith, M. D., Director
Haight-Ashbury

San Francisco, Californi

We agree with Dr. Smith that ampheta-
mine is a dangerous drug, especially when
misused oy overused, and the September
1970 “Playboy Advisor" poinied this out
emphatically, However. we objected to the
slogan "Speed hills’ and continue to ve
gard it as bad rhetoric—because we be-
lieve that one af the prime drug problems
in America is the credibility gap between
young people and authorities in govern-
ment and medicine, Ах a scientist, Dr.
Smith understands that the slogan means
“Speed kills occasionally.” but that is not
what it says; and what it actually says isan

exaggeration. Every such "islatement
tends to undermine credibility, and
youngsters who have wen friends use

amphetamines without serious side effects
are likely to regard other warnings about
its veal dangers as equally unreliable. This
is hue of all drugs, but especially of
speed, since students often use these pills
to cram for exams and know that ocra-
sional low-dose wage is usally harmless.

The real dangers of amphetamines be-
gin with habitual ww, and especially
with high-dose cyclical injection (in the
form of methamphetamine), ах Di. Smith
points oul. The side effects, then, present
а variety of symptoms of mer
deterioration, usually including. depres-
sions, anxieties and paranoid hallucina
lions. Since a person in that state also
grows careless, he may not keep his nee-
dle clean, and hepatitis or infection can
enter the picture; he may abo, under
stress, labe a Jalal overdose, Recently,
eight doctors at the University of Sauth-
em California Medical Center suggested
Unt methamphetamine “probably” causes
necrotizing angiilis—a [иш
disease—in ten percent of its users, but
this has not been confirmed, nor is it
clear how: lang tlie übute anus be còn-
tinued before this danger arises or if the
disease might aclually be viggered by
other drugs. Thus, because of the lack of
serious side effects on occasional users of
amphetamines, we think our original posi
tion veniams sound: This is a potentially
very dangerous drug, but “Speed kill
the kind of alarmism that impedes, rath-
er than facilitates, communication with
members of the drug culture.

sometimes

“The Playboy Forum” offers the
opportunity for an extended dialog br-
tween readers and editors oj this pub-
lication on subjects and issues related to
“The Playboy Philosophy.” Address all
correspondence to The Playboy Forum,
Playboy Building, 919 North Michi-
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611.

pleasures
help make li ie
interesting.

Surprise
people

PLAYBOY

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nanor mans DICK CAVETT

a candid conversation with the literate, quick-witted television
host some critics have called “the thinking man’s johnny carson”

Take all the talk shows in the world
and place them format to format on a
continuum ranging from trenchant de-
bate to plastic escapism. Then take all
the talk-show hosts and line them up lip
to lip. with relentless inquisitors al one
end and vacuous buffoons at. the other.
AL the point where these two lines inter-
ele, near the mid-point of
cach—there are very few shows that
carefully combine serious discussion and
comic relief, and attract an audience of
millions. “The Dick Cavett Show” is one
of these and, as even talk-show haters
concede, no one displays a better sense of
balance and elegance than its facile host.

He once told a reporter, “A real con-
versationalist is one who builds on some-
thing that starts between people and is
able to develop it, see il change and then
improvise before your eyes. 1 like to
see somebody's mind working while he's
talking and I like to come away with the
sense that my mind has been engaged
and stretched a bit.” The mind working
here is the scholarly, inquisitive, intellec:
tual side of Dick Cavett, the side he
projects in civilized discourse with such
diverse guests as Noel Coward, Orson
Welles, Ramsey Clark, Margaret Mead,
Ralph Nader, Lester Maddox and 1. F.
Stone.

“I've had people on the show whom 1
consider pigs—not in the current. sense
of the word—and 1 think it broadens the
spectrum. Also, for same reason, I'm often
extra nice to a person 1 despise.”

Born on November 19, 1936, the son
of two Nebraska schoolteachers, Cavett
has impressive academic credentials. Aft-
er his family moved from Gibbon to
Grand Island and finally to Lincoln,
Nebraska, he reportedly posted the high-
est LQ. in the history of that city's
junior high schools, earned a scholarship
to Yale in 1954, appeared on the dean’s
list his freshman year and coasted lo а
degree in English literature.

Still a conscientious student (“At Yale,
my roommates would shit when Га finish
a paper four days before it was due"),
he tries to read as many as possible of
the books to be discussed on his show, in
addition to the three newspapers and
numerous periodicals he wolfs down
with his breakfast every day. Paradoxical-
ly. Cavett denies being an intellectual,
explaining that he's more likely to sus-
lain a stream of consciousness than а
stream of thought. H's probably this
tendency toward free association and
away from logic that prompted. Gore
Vidal to describe him as “the James
Joyce of the talkmasters, with an uncon-
scious mind working overtime.” Therein
lies the essence of Cavett: intellect leav-
ened with an irreverent, compulsive wit
and frequent [orays into pure non sequi-
tur. “It's fun to ask a guest something he's

He
“If [ve established an identity, it's a
kind of dimpled winsomeness masquer-
ading as sophistication, a combination of

wit and varthiness, as if Voltaire and
Jane Russell had had a child!"

never been asked before,” Cavett has said.
“Like the time I asked Jim Brown if he
ran into much homosexuality in pro [oot-
ball.” Among other mischievous ules [or
good discussion, Cavell maintains: “Do
not call attention to the deformities of the
person you're speaking with. Try to have
a language in common. Do not leave the
room during the other person's sentences.”

It’s this wry, dry wit, coupled with an
abiding childhood ambition to succeed
in show business, that's been the making
of Cavett. Inspired al the age of ten by a
magician he saw at a Nebraska state fair,
Dick put together an act of his own and
al the ripe age of 12 was earning 550 п
performance; а year later, he won а
trophy for the best new performer at
a St. Louis magician’ convention, He
made his debut as an actor at 11 in Ter-
ence Raitigan's “The Winslow Boy"—he
says he was the only kid in Lincoln who
could muster a convincing English ac-
cent—then went on to high school and
ge productions and eventually to a
seasons of summer stock їп New
England. But after moving to New York
City, Cavett, like most young actos
found it almost impossible to break into
the exclusive sanctum of regularly em-
ployed performers; his most notable

^I don't like being recognized that much.
AL times, it's pleasant, but other times, it's
a pain in the ass, especially when you're
walking along and you've managed to
forget for a moment what it is you do.”

PLAYBOY

roles were a bit part on “Playhouse 90”
and a wounded German soldier in an
Army training film.

Tt was at this point, in 1960, that he
went to the NBC studios with an unsolic-
ited collection of jokes he'd written jor
Jack Paar, whom he still considers the
nonpareil talk-show host. After literally
bumping into Paar in a hallway, he
thrust an envelope into his hands, mum-
bled something abont a monolog, then
waited apprehensively while Paar pe-
rused it in the privacy of his office. Two
weeks later, after Paar used some of his
jokes successfully on the air, Cavell was
invited to leave the S50-aweek job he'd
taken as a copy boy [or Time and to
begin work as a STól-aaveeh writer for
“The Tonight Show." When Paar quit a
few years later, Cavett stayed on lo write

for several guest hosts, among them
Groucho Marx, Mort Sahl and Мет

Griffin, but then he left the show him
self to write comedy for Jerry Lewis and
eventually for Johnny Carson.

In 1966, encouraged by Woody Allen,
a new-found friend, he decided to elimi.
nate the middleman by performing his
own material, beginning in Greenwich
Village clubs, most notably the Bitter
End, and then moving np to move prestig-
ious night spots such as the hungry i in
San Franciso and Mr, Kelly's in Chicago,
In the next two years, his former em-
ployers Alesis. Carson and Griffin
booked him more than a dozen times
euch on their shows, and ABC featured
him as a comedian on two specials before
signing him to host his own morning
taik show in 1968. И gol consistent.
ly low ratings and was dropped after
ten months—though ЕСС Commissioner
Nicholas Johnson had commended the
show as an oasis in the wasteland, Still
confident in Cavett, ABC returned him to
the air as a summer replacement in 1969
wih a thrice-weekly one-hour prime-
time talk show whose schedule was so odd
—Monday, Tuesday and Friday—that
Groucho Marx complained he needed a
secretary to remind him what nights it was
on, Finally, in December 1969, Cavett was
cased into the late-night slot vacated by
Joey Bishop. In the months since his de-
but, Dick's audience has almost doubled
toa respectable H percent of all switched-
on set owners—about 14,000,000 viewers
weekly in 133 cities—and АВС happily
renewed his contract,

Today, though estimates of his salary
тип as high as $15,000 а werk, Cavett
remains relatively unspoiled by his suc-
cess. He and his wife, actress Carrie Nye
they met as students at Yale—oceupy a
two-story Upper East. Side apartment in
Manhattan that was formerly owned by
Woody Allen; on summer weekends,
they retreat to Long Island and а late—
10h Century clapboard house on the
dunes overlooking the Atlantic. Once a
medalavinning high school gymnast,
Cavett maintains his 5*7", 135-pound

physique by snorkeling and surfing when-
ever possible. He drinks an occasional.
glass of wine, never smokes, hates parties
and is almost never seen al movies, plays
or night clubs. The hercutean task of pre-
paring and performing his show five
nights a week leaves him with little time
or mclination for anything else, and most
of his leisure hows are spent with his
wife, reading and relaxing,

Consequently, when vLavwoy sent for-
mer Associate Editor Harold Каті
now an actor and freelance writer—to
interview Cavett, they shoehorned their
conversation into brief breaks in Dick's
work schedule. The dialog took place
in Cavett’s wood-paneled office at ABC
Studios, Daphne Productions—his own
company, named after one of his d
is located on Broa around the cor
ner from the 430-seat 38th Street theater
in which his show is taped. “In ony first
meeting,” Ramis reports, “he divided his
allention between me and a plate of
spaghetti. The second session, il was
scallops. Chicken salad highlighted our
third meeting, But despite the distrac-
tions, 1 soon realized that Cavell is a
remmkably consistent and unaffected per-
son, vitually the same off screen as he
is on—polite, honest, clever and con-
genial. The television industry, so de-
pendent on superficial images, tends to
package human beings and promote
them like products. Cavett remains very
much his own man." Expecting —and
getting—an honest answer, Ramis be-
gm the interview by asking Cavett to
comment on the pervasive mediocrity of
network TV, present company excluded.

PLAYBOY: Its often argued that because
of the economics of the mass media, only
those shows thar appeal to the lowest com-
mon denominator сап succeed on Ame
can television. Do vou think this is true?
CAVETT: That's a difficult question. Must
anything successful he inferior? Certain
ly some good things have succeeded on
- I don't think the medium is

р.
PLAYBOY: What percents

scribe as crap?
CAVETT: Ninety-five percent. I'm sorry;
that’s а ridiculous exaggeration. Make
that 93 percent.

PLAYBOY: Do you agree with those critics
who say that ABC is responsible for
more than its share of стар?

САМЕТ: No, ABC used to get more than
«bof the blame back when they
stable instead of a network, but

sc would you de

their policies have changed and their
programing has gotten better. 1 don’t
think you could say now that ABC is

sser than the other two networks. But
as long as people will accept crap, it will
be financially profitable to dispense it. It

becomes nding spiral.

PLAYBOY: Most of the critics seem to feel
thar уо show is several cuts
above the general level of programing. At

first, though, you didn't scem so sure of
yourself, and seve
pointed out that you appeared 10 be dis-
concertingly nervon
cavert: They really shouldn't review a
new talk show for the first few weeks.
The important thing is how you're going
to do in the long run. not how you do
on opening night, with network execs
standing in the back and heady-cyed
agents sitting in the aisle scars. I shouldn't
generalize, of course; there аге agents
who don't have beady eyes—two, in faa.
But it was very perceptive of the aitics to
e that T was nervous. Probably when
I uembled, turned rigid and then fell
olf the chair, they began to get that idea
PLAYBOY: You're obviously les nervous
now than you were then.
CAVETT: Sure. but it varies from night to
night. The best thing to do is tell your-
self that it doesn't show one cighth as
much as vou feel, If you
nervous, you don't look nervous at all. TE
ou look slightly

youre very. nervous
nervous. And if you're totally out of
contol, you look troubled. It scales
down on the screen, Anybody who ap-
pears on talk shows should always re-

mind himself that everything he's doing

looks better than it feels In straight
performing, 1 don't think that holds
true. II you think it’s lousy when you're
g it, chances are that it is—although
n. not as bad as you think. Your
nervous system may be giving you а
thousand shocks, but che viewer n sce
only a few of them, So the camera lies in
your favor in spite of all the platitudes
you hear about its showing up the pho-
nies. II the camera really showed up ihe
phonies, this business would fold in
weeks.
Who are the most pro

ment

ШШ
Cavers: Tu tell you, but some of them
ате my dearest friends.

PLAYBOY: Why is there so much tension
involved in doing the show?

In lly sining there and
Your mind is split in about six
or more ways at all times. To the viewer,
it looks like all the Пом а sounds so
much folksier thai doesn't 1—
has got to do
But you're not only doing that; you'r
thinking ah andering whether to
change the subject or pursue it, tryi
decide whether the
ment to start someth:

‚ dying
niches into a long
ad you know there's less than a

story

minute left before the station b
thar the guest will be throw
story ruined if you

метир, d
y involve
adering if you should
t might help or let it
pass knowing that am upcoming guest
has said, 7 schmuck is will out
there when E come on, UII lea
dering what it was he told you

show

PLAYBOY

forget to ask him and trying to decide, of
five things you wanted to get to, which
two to leave out, since time is running
out, and wondering why the audience
seems restless amd what signal the stage
manager just gave you that you missed.
Usually these things all come together
about the time you've just decided your
fly is open and that's what the ladies in
row E are whispering about and why the
stage manager signaled. It’s a wonderful
job for people who have never had a
nervous breakdown but always wanted
one, It all has to do with the built-in arti-
ficiality of trying to have real conversation
with all those imposed time limits. It's
the tension you get when someone is
telling you his life story on a subway
platfonn and your nain is coming.
PLAYBOY: Some other talk shows are done
without a studio audience and scem much
more relaxed. Docs the audience contrib-
ше to the pressure?
САМЕТ: They're an enormous force sit-
ting there and they pull you in several
directions, It's the audience that makes
a host push for laughs, because you're
ware of those hundreds of people who
en't been heard from in several
ates, and you feel obliged to keep
them entertained. Tm always aware of
wanting to end a segment on a laugh—a
strain you don’t feel in real conversation.
You have to learn to play the studio
audience and also forget them, because
the home audience is your big audience
and they don’t care if the people in the
udio are bored as long as they're inter-
ested, And one of the things you learn—
too slowly—is that due to some mysteri-
ous process, the face and voice that may
be putting you and the studio aud
to sleep may be Пури ly fascinating
to the home view Remember. that,
dear reader, when you host your own
talk show. And most of you will, from.
the looks of things.
PLAYBOY: Johnny Carson often goes for
ghs by reacting with facial takes to
the camera. Do you think that’s fair to the
guest?
CAVET: If I don't do it, it may be
because I'm aware tliat Carson does and
1 don’t want it to seem like I'm imitating
him. But I think it’s very effective. I've
learned to play to the camera more than
I used to because D think my reactions
should register somehow. A lot of mine
used to be lost because I didn't know
which camera was on me. When I started
out, I did some very funny takes to the stu-
dio clock, which 1 thought was a camera.
PLAYBOY: Do you think some of your
guests may find it irritating when you
interrupt. with a joke to the audience?
CAVETT: l'm aware that it can be disturb-
ing at times if I do it in the wrong way,
but that's a chance I'm willing to take.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever been reprimand-
cd by a guest for your flippancy?
cavert: I think I have a fairly good
instinct for when a laugh is permissible.

If my “flippancy,” as you so quaintly call
it, has annoyed anyone, they haven't told
me. I continuc to think of myself as a
comedian, and if anyone expects me to
not try to get laughs. that's their tough
luck. 1 don't want the show to look like
it's on the educational channel at three
м. on Sunday, and although 1 have
in admirers who would prefer it
that way and think it's cheap when I get
a laugh, I would never think of d
that. When people say,
youself to Carson's level?" J think
that's pukey snobbism on their part.
First, by their assumption that 1 think
arson is some sort of lower form, and
second, that laughs are crass. Wrong on
both. T say what I think is amusing and
what I think wil amuse the viewer,
whenever I think it fits.

PLAYBOY: Aie there any guests with whom
you wouldn't go for a laugh?

caverr No, I can't think of a subject
whore some kind of humor isn't possible.
If you want rules, they're: (1) Follow
your instincts and (2) Don't ask an
archbishop if he ever balled a pig.
PLAYBOY: Like other talk shows with a
studio audi yours employs an AP-
PLAUsE sign that’s flashed on and off whet
you come out for your monolog. Isn't that
almost as artificial as canned laughter?
CAVEN: Though they always punch the
APPLAUSE sign, I don't think they keep it
going alter my entrance. But even when
applause isn't cued, I feel a little silly
standing there, because I've never exult-
ed in applause or gotten the kind of kick
you're supposed to get [rom it. There are
some nights when 1 catch a few grinning
faces in the audience and it seems li
those people are genuinely glad to see
me; that can help. But yo

find some conventioneer

wall-

looking
yed or nodding off. Any applause that's

clearly artifi
remember one period on
when there was an irritating use of the
APPLAUSE sign. I think Carson finally had
it stopped after one night when Skitch
Henderson said that the acoustics in the
Bullalo Auditorium were so good that
any musician would be glad to play
there. The audience responded with a
"spontancous" burst of applause for
those acoustics.

PLAYBOY: If you're not d
the applause, why don’t you take the
sign down and let the audience decide
for themselves when to applaud?

САМЕТ: It's not a serious problem; I'm
sure we don't use it duri
At the end of a se;
of dissolve that’s nice; but when acoustics
мап getting electronically cued applause
on my show, I will personally shoot the
damn thing down. It's almost as bad as
the kind of applause the phonies on
panel shows get w sentence that
ends on a positive, Norman Vincent
Pealeish note, or one that ends with
something like, “If parents + ould paddle

I bothers me, though. I
wson's show

at interested in

a few more fan country would
be a better place to live in!" For this
kind of thing, there should be another
electric sign that says rart!

PLAYBOY: The major talk shows vary little
in general format. Have you or your
producers considered any innovations [or
yours?

CAVETI: When a talk show starts, there's
always a discusion of how this ouc is
going to be different. People say things
like, “Maybe we'll have people sit on
blocks of ice.” or something. And I've
wondered how it would be to do the
show with everybody standing. But there's
very little you can do with conversation
that would be signilicantly егет. The
quality can be different, but thats a
mysterious thing I can't be too specific
pout. It's an atmosphere. You want the
udience to sense that there's something
about you or your show they might not
get from watching someone Che's show. 1
think this was certainly true with Paar
І used to watch him no matter who his
guests were because there was some kind
of tone in the conversation that pleased
me above and beyond the specific per-
sonalities. This is increasingly important,
because with so many talk shows now,
ppear so much that
they become devalued currency.

PLAYBOY: Do you think many people
ch your show regardless of who you
as guests?

cavet: Yeah, a lot of people write in
and say they watch the show every night,
PLAYBOY: Why? What is it about you?
cavert: I think it's the way I cross and
uncross my legs in a sensuous and pro-
vocative manner. People of both sexes
have confessed to being driven to the
brink of madness by it

PLAYBOY: Seriously.

CAVETI: Seriously, I haven't the slightest.
"They get to know you, I guess, and get
in the habit of liking to spend some time
with you. That and maybe the show
having a tone they like, which should
involve a certain amount of the unex-
pected, Like in a serious imerview with
Wernher Von Braun, after he had told.
how a Nazi informant had gonen him
trouble with the Gestapo and Himm-
ler, I suddenly lapsed into German and
then said in English, “You don't remem-
ber, do you" with a German accent,
pretending to be that informant. His
expression and the laugh. that followed
are the kind of thing 1, asa viewer, would
like to sec now and then on this kind of
show. So 1 might watch every night even
if I weren't on it.

PLAYBOY: [s there any other host you'd
consider watching every ni
CAVETT: I сап remember being really
obsessed with the Paar show. I watched
it every night; it was about all I lived for
in those days. It was one of those neurot-
ic years in ап actor's life: You're making
the rounds at all the agencies, but noth-
ings happening and you think you'

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PLAYBOY

getting mononucleosis again, so you'd
better stay in your apartment for three
weeks and read. You wind up sleeping
14 hours a day, but you're still tired and
you don't want to go out or see anybody.
PLAYBOY: Why do you think you weren't
getting acting jobs?

caverr I couldn't interest ап agent in
те. I didn't seem "commercial." Like
most actors, 1 blew a lot of money on
glosy photos; but when I got to an
agent's оћсе, I never looked like I did in
the photos. They'd say, “Oh, L thought
you were a leading man, You look taller
id heavier in your photographs." I had
one set of pictures that made me look
like some sore of swarthy East Indian
type. T swear it looked like I had dark
skin. I think Sidney Poitier borrowed
those pictures and got his first job with
them.

PLAYBOY: You hadn't been acting too
long before you were hired by Jack Paar
as а writer. Were you reluctant to give
up your acting career?

CAVE: No, not really. I was never one
of those people who feel that if someone
cut off my legs and moved me to Ogden,
Utah, Fd act in my wheelchair. I never
had that burning drive. | did have an
unfocused desire to be in show business,
though, and I realized after I wrote that
first monolog for Paar that I had done it
not to start а writing career but simply
to meet him. Id been doing temporary
work as а typist, getting dressed up on
wold, deny mor and going down
to Wall Street to type labels all day. Id
sit there and actually try to figure out
ways to get on the Paar show. Then 1
got the job as а сору boy at Time and
that led 10 No, 1 can't tell the story
again about Paar and the monolog. It's a
matcr of public record in about 34
places. In any case, even after I got the
job writing. 1 still had a modest ambi-
tion to be a guest on the show, 1 w
sure that if I got out there, they'd see
that I could really talk. and get laughs, T
сап even remember writing down funny
things to say on the show and stashin
them around my apartment.

PLAYBOY: Did you simply want to be a
celebrity?

CAVETT: That's possible. I haven't thought
of it that way. But I do remember hav-
ing the desire to be recognized. When I
was a kid, Bob Hope came to Lincol
Nebraska, and 1 remember. the adoring
crowds watching him get into his car. 1
thought, “God, it must be wonderful to
live the kind of life he does!" I had the
same feeling about. Fred Allen. I'd been
to sec What's My Line? at the studio
one night and afterward 1 saw him stand-
ing under the marquee outside. No one
was asking him for his autograph, which
I found stange nd he started walking
nd I just sort of fol-
“Jesus, at's Fred
As he approached the corner, two
bums stepped out of the shadows and

Youre the greatest, F
1 than Milton Berle.” He
gathering.” Then he hand-
ed some envelopes with money in them
to the bums and walked down to the
subway. I thought, "Shit! Should 1 talk
to him? Should 1 follow him onto the
subway?” Ill always regret that. J didn't.
PLAYBOY: Were you as impressed by Jack
Paar once you started working for him?
CAVETI: Yes. І didn't have that much di-
rect contact with him, but there was
always a kind of adrenaline pumping
when you worked around Paar that
ullected his whole stall. He had a kind of
emotional quality on camera that every.
one in the press talked about, and there
was an assumption that he couldn't be
that cmotional and still be terribly bright.
It's another kind of snobbism Гуе seen
before and since. Actually, he was funny,
quick-witted and really smart. He used to
read an awful lot and he made a tenifie
chort to compensate for what he consid-
ered а lack of education. Because of his
great respect for learning, he'd tend to
averrespect people he thought were
ter than he was. Very often, they
weren't.

PLAYBOY: Why have
guest on your show?
caver; I'd love to and I've asked him,
but he says it would create certain. prob-
Jems for him that he'd rather avoid. 1
still hope he will someday. He changes
his phone number more than a callgirl
with a will to fail. He's one of the
oddest, most interesting and likable men
Ive ever met. I wish I saw him more
often, but 1 guess nobody does. I'd give
g to see about a month of kine-
scopes of the old Paar Tonight Show. I
guess they're gone lorever. 10% a shame.
PLAYBOY: After Paar left The Tonight
Show, you wrote lor a number of people
who subsequently hosted the show.
Which of them impressed you most?
CAVETI: I suppose Groucho wits the most
fun to write for because he'd always
been a great hero of mine. 1 knew his
style and it was a thrill to hear him say
my lines. I even wrote a couple of things
that Mort Sahl used when he did the
show, which I would have thought was
impossible, since Mort's style is so tied
up in his personality, When I was doing
my act, I used to say that one of my fst
jobs was writing dirty litle remarks and
selling them to children who w:

get on the Art Linkletter show.
PLAYBOY: What prompted you 10 start
performing your own material?

САУЕТТ: Id had some sort of unformed
desire to do it ever since my n act
days, but the hard thing is finding out
how to start. Where do you go to be a
comedian? Then, when I was working
for Paar, I was sent to the Blue Angel to
look at a comedian who used to w
for Sid Caesar. He was about my age
just getting his act together. It was
Woody Allen. We talked a lot and be-

ї you had Paar zs a

came friends, and I watched where he
went and how he did it. I learned that the
easiest route was to go from Greenwich
Village clubs to television. So then, when
I was working for Carson, I started writ-
ing my act and began to appear in clubs.
PLAYBOY: What was it that you liked so
much about Woody Allen's work?

Cavett: I thought every joke was bril-
liant and perfectly suited to his personal
ity—his look, his shape, his size and all
of that. I suppose, when 1 first sat down
influ

to write т ced by what
1 thought he'd uis But it wasn’t easy
lor me, because I don't have a role as

clear as his to play.

PLAYBOY: Did you have any trouble break
ing in your act?

CAVETT: Well, my first night at the Bitter
End was a disaster. An unmitigated flop.
Twenty minutes of concrete silence.
Larger laughs have been heard in a total
vacuum,

PLAYBOY:

you doing
CAVETI: ld love to know now.
under the deepest hypnosis could that 20
minutes come k. It's been wiped from
my conscious mind. It must have been a
satiric look at the Hanseatic League or a
behind-the-sci tongue-in-cheek spoof
of the Council of Trent. All I remember
is standing up there with perspiration
pouring over my eyebrows and into my
eyes. 1 knew that if I reached up to wipe
it away I'd only call attention to it. I
thought, “Maybe it isn't just me. Maybe
i y hot in here and everybody's
1 saw the owner of the dub
discreetly leave during my act and I was
sure that later he'd say to me, “Gee, I'm
sorry I missed your act. I hear some of
afterward, Jack Rollins,
my manager, said to me, “Î know this is
going to surprise you, but it wasn't as
bad as you think." He thought the best
thing 10 do would be to perform agai
so I did. 1 went on at the Improvisation
for a few nights and all the things that
hadn't worked on my first night started
10 get Iiughs. Of course, there were still
а lot of dismal nights after that; it was
agony sometimes, But there were other
nights when I thought, “Now I have it, I
know how it works now. PI never do
another bad show.”

PLAYBOY: Did it get any less painful when
you did?

CAVETT: Well,
was boml
fun
forget

What kind of material were

Only

sometimes the fact that I
ag struck me as hysterically
Once Т got an audience ГИ never
¢ called the Duplex. A
bus drove up and deposited what was
obviously a tour. All of the men looked
ike potato farmers from some Baltic
county and the women were indistin
guishable from the men. It was such a
small club, 1 could see all of them clear-
. and every face looked like a fish's
profile. When I say the silence was audi
ble, 1 m There seemed to be not
just silence but an cerie kind of endless

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PLAYBOY

intake of breath. I was dy
that it was hilarious to me and I began
to smirk, giggle and finally laugh aloud
at the silences following my jokes, The
bartender was strangling with suppressed
laughter to the point where he nearly
asphyxiated himself on his own carbon
dioxide, When Т finished. I said, “This is
where you applaud, and I want to con-
gratulate most of you on looking remark-
bly lifelike,” and left the stage in utter
silence. I don't think a performer has
ever enjoyed an audience so much,
PLAYBOY: Did you begin to enjoy the
work consistently once you became more
self-assured?

CAVETT: Sometimes it very, very
ting. I'd think. "This is a wonder-
ay to make a living. I feel sorry for
people who don't do this as a profes-
sion." But that feeling can disappear
rather suddenly. Sometimes it was terri-
ble to think Fd have to come back the
xt night and do the same crap all over
gain. And it could be almost as depres-
to do а good show as it was to do a
bad one. I'd come off the stage and think,
hat have 1 got? Ils not on film or on
Only a couple of hundred people
t. Yeah, they laughed: but now
imong themselves about
other things and soon they're going to
file out and a whole new group is going
to come in and lll have to start the
whole goddamned thing all ever aga
"Then. if the second show didn't do as
well as the first, I'd think, “How cin I

tap
saw
they're tilking

PLAYBOY: You must have convinced some-
body. Didn't you think youd finally
ade it when you began to appear in
1967 on such new-talent specials as
Where It's AD

CAVETT: | thought they were calling it
Where It Sat. That's the only reason I
ced to do it. As we all know, 10
advertise опе as ^ is to immedi-
ately put oneself out. I did another show
for NBC, by the way, that was complete-
ly forgotten and never seen on the air. It
was called The Star and the Story and it
ously put together by Woody
first producer. It was a cross
between This Is Your Life and a talk
show. We'd ta a маг and tell his
story in bur episodes, They
used Vai n for the pilot I mi
Somehow, it didu't jell, to put it m
Whereas most pilot shows are "in the
an,” this one went down it. You may
remember on the Emmy show when I
was caught on camera. running upstage
to examine the celluloid str
tooning the set. I thought they might be
pilot for The Star and the Story.
PLAYBOY: Did you have any misgivings
when ABC signed you to do your morn-
ing talk show?

САМЕТТ: It was more a feeling of: "I'm
ot sure it’s what I want, but Tl uy it.
Maybe I can do it.”

mers fes-

PLAYBOY: What other formats might you
have preferred?

CAVETT: Well, I had an idea for а talent-
scouttype show called Out You Got,
where the losers have to leave the busi-
ness, It would be a good way of nipping
in the bud tomorrow's lousy singers,
cruddy comics and witless impressionists,
of which we have such an endless supply
today. Instead of “Where will tomo
тоз talent come from?,” its motto would
be, “Let's tell today's dreck where to go!”
The gilted and improvable ones would,
of course, be given subsidies for the rest
of their careers, И this had happened
years ago, there might be less TV, but
more people watching what there was.
PLAYBOY: Did you use any of your comic
heroes as a model for your new role as
talk-show host?

CAVETI; I'm sure, at given moments, I
modeled it after everybody Ive ever
seen. I'm а good mimic. As in writing, it
has to do with hearing their voices in

your i ar. lı affects you in perform.

cc. Ar times, J sit there and think, “I
don't know whar 7% say, but T know
what soundso would say." So ГШ react

as Paar or Groucho or Carson would. T
think everybody does this to some ex-
tent. Maybe по. No, some
wouldn't. They would be totally o
and react only as themselves. 1 gues
identity problem.

PLAYBOY: Do vou think you've established.
your awn identity by now?

Cavett: If | have one, it’s a kind of
dimpled winsomeness masquerading as
sophistication, a sort of cross betwee
Robert Mitchum and. Peter Pan, a
dom beyond my years, concealed
body of a cherub, a combination of wit
and earthiness, as it Voltaire and Jane
Russell had had а child! How the hell
сап a person describe his identity? That's
for others to answer, your Honor.
PLAYBOY: What qualities of yours do you
try hardest to repress on the air?

CAVETT: Snappish temper. Гус failed sev-
eral times, Sometimes it's directed at the
guest, but quite often its some disturb-
nce that I consider inexcusable.
PLAYBOY: Are you ever simply
mood?

people

п a bad

y lucky on that. I
її seem to be prone to mood swings
n extreme nature, as they call them
in the trade, Occasionally, though, I go
nto а show loathing it and my job, but
once Fm out thae, ГЇ come storming
out of that mood and be up for several
hours after the show, Every performe
has this experience and nobo à re
Jy explain it adequately. Of course, there
are other nights you go out feeling bad
nd then sink wiil
PLAYBOY: Arc you ever bored while doing
the show?

CAVETT: 1 wouldn't call it boredom, be
cause Fm always on edge one way or
another, Fm not likely to [all asleep. But
I do find myself acting interested in a

hell of a lot of things I'm not really that.
interested in. I just Yt think of a
gracious ultermative—something to do
when I'm not interested. Maybe I could
say, “Go ahead and talk. I'm just going
to finish this article in Reader's Digest."
PLAYBOY: Do you ever wish you were the
guest instead of the host?

САМЕТТ: It's casier and harder to be а
guest. Easier because you do your 0
and you're through, harder because you
have less time to do it and you're not
back tomorrow to redeem yourself. The
comedy guest in particular has to score
quickly, Also, there are times when some-
one with a fascinating story tells it badly
and I think Z should have told the story
and let him nod to verify it. But the guest
is at the host's mercy in so many wa
that maybe ir's easier to be the host. Come
to think of it, the best thing is to be the
viewer.

PLAYBOY: How are guests selected for the
show?

cavert: The staff and the producer do it.
Id go berserk if I wied to do that
aly because Td find objections. to
ione who's suggested. I've [oi
the gue

evel
Im much better off havin
selected for me. Гус done wonder
shows with people who'd never have
been on if it had been up to me. No
names, please.

PLAYBOY: Does the network ever suggest
guests for the show?

CAVETI: Yeah. people they have an x
est in because they're on other ABC
shows, Some I've had on and some I've

vetoed because I thought they'd be too
boring.

PLAYBOY: Can ihe
guests? Censor your tapes?

САМЕТТ: | can honestly say the network
has never insisted someone not be on.
They cam, of course, censor. Ive won
some fascinating arguments on that, and
so have they. But dend very little cen-
smship, which is as it should be. Censor-

network veto your

ship feeds the dirty mind more than the
four-letter word If would. If a guest
says. “Не was standing there absent-

mindedly fingering his crotch .. ., and
s censored to “absent-mindedly finger-
his well, you эсс what hap-

pens. Whats appalling is that a local
station manager can take out all of
Margaret Mead's remarks and leave in all
of Ronald Re or vice versa—il he

лашу to, on t wands that one “isn't
good for his community." When this has
happened, Гуе gonen outraged letters
from people hip enough 10 know it’s the
local station's doing and not the network's.
1 wish people would let me know—with
de

ails.

But you do have to think about
wounded pilities. If someone says,
“The Pope's a pimp” or “The Queen
sucks eggs” or worse, 1 don't mind losing
„ although I could argue for leaving it in
on the grounds that the viewer has been
ed of forming his own opinion of

che:

Mr Victor suggests a much
longer cigarette to go with his new
hairstyles.

Now everybody will be smoking
longer cigarettes to go with their
new hairstyles Almost everybody.

1 eg "
Thay e not уюн) ia d

Suc |

1971 В. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company, Winston-Salem, N.C.

PLAYBOY

the speaker t it wouldn't do any
lasting harm. It's the pornography cliché,
"No woman was ever ruined by a book.’
But even that may not bc truc. I did
hear of an eccentric old crock back in
Nebraska who boiled and ate a Bible,
bit by bit, on the grounds that the Holy
Writ would somehow shine through her.
ey say it played hob with her digestive
tract and she was never again able to eat
anything bur t
who was ruined by а book. So there
по absolutes. Have you ever played hob?
went out of style.
re you generally
the guests who are booked?
САМЕТ: Yes, but I think there are ways
shows that haven't been
tried yet and Id like w uy some of
them. There might be more thought put
into bringing the guests together on a
subject. Usually there isn't time, but
often there's a feeling that the show is
coming together at the end, and that if
we had another hour of tape we could
do a more interesting hour than the first
onc. But it’s hard to do that as much as
Vd Iik ise often it's just a
who's ava e. You schedule your
Thursday, bur then. you
t two comedians from your
dway" show will have to
ed into the abortion show.
"s the kind of trouble you run into
with subject-matter shows.
PLAYBOY- Two or three of the talk shows
will often have uic sane guest on within
a short period of time, usually becuse
he or she is or 1 junket of
some kind, How do you feel about the
fact that you're often the second to get
sucli guests?
САМЕТТ: Griffin has gone to Califor
and changed that picture, but I've I
number ol people first and so has Ci
son. People may watch both shows to
compare the two appearances, so you
et some viewers who wouldn't have
watched otherwise. In that way.
be an advantage to have a guest second.
PLAYBOY: 15 there anyone you'd li
have on the show who's refused to ap-
pear?
САМЕТТ: Oh, sure. I'd love to get Katha-
rine Hepburn and Greta: Garbo—or may-
be Edmund Wilson. On second thought,
forger Edmund. He wouldn't do it a
way.
PLAYBOY: Do you often have perso
friends on the show?
САМЕТ: I'm [riendly with some people iu

tion show fe
find out th

the business. but there aren't many faces
I sce on the show that E also sec across
y dinner table. And there are some

guests Td rather go to а slaughterhouse
than run into off the show. OF course, you
want to know who they are. Since my
choice of words is so pungent, I don't
think I ought to men
viewers сан tell who these people
the little things that happen

mouth and my eyes while Im talking to
them. I don't want to spoil the game for
the audience.

PLAYBOY: If you dislike these people so
much, why have them on?

CAVETT; I've had а couple of people on
whom I consider pigs—not in the cur-
rem sense of the word—and I think it
broadens the spectrum. I'm also curious
to see how PII react to them. For som
perverse reason, I'm often extra nice 10
a person I really despise. ОГ course, I
don't want people to think that 1 despise
everyone I'm nice to—or vice versa.
PLAYBOY: Do you expect the audience to
ike a guest you pecsonally don't like?
CAVETT: They obviously do, because some
of these people are quite popular with
the public. If you're asking whether or пос
my feelings about the guest influence the
audience's feelings about him, E пахса"
xL Em sh;
I can't pose as profound on
subjects I haven't any thought to.
What do ID cut? I often have. I
mean I s'rouldn't.

PLAYEOY- Can you think of any guests
who've been particularly informative to
you personally?

CAVETT: I like to think that I'm capable
of seeing the truth in a statement, wheth-
er its made by Black Panther or by
Bill Buckley, but Im rarely relaxed
enough when I'm on the ай to go
through an actual learning process. May-
be when Im watching the playback of
the show TH le һа ics
less likely to happen on the
PLAYBOY: Dil you learn much from Or-
son Welles during his two 90-minute
appe on the show?

CAVETT: Welles was, and I hope will con-
ue то be, a rare тем for me and
the audience. When asked, “Who would

but

you like that you Gurt get,” 1 always
wed to say, “Orson Welles, to name
7" Now 1 can't say that anymore, But

that’s one of the most gratilying things
bout doing this kind of work. Fm glad
for the benighted soul I met who had
heard of Welles and was thrilled by
h nd for the kids who said they'd
never seen the Lunts except on my show
and thought the
people who said, when Fred Astaire p
up and danced, that they felt thei
ighten. Or when Sir. Ralph Rich
hit of a show,
s beloved motorcyele—it all be-
. Or Groucho killing an
audience he thinks is too young to re
member him. On those nights.
€ the best job in the world.
PLAYBOY: Who else would you consider
a solo guest?

cavert; I don't think there that
many people worth doing 90 minutes
with. Pierre Trudeau might be fascinat-
Robert Morley certainly would be.
ybe Marlon Brando. De Gaulle would.
have been great.

nevel

were “a groove.” Or the

is the comedy
about |
mes worth i

are

PLAYBOY: Аге you
these?
САМЕТТ: The word awe doesn’t describe

awed by people like

1 feel. nd reverence has a
rather corny, pseudoicl 10 it,
But I do thrill to great talent. I think

at talents should have апу they
ıt. Talented people should alw.
way, up to the point of mal
impossible to continue a project or pro.
duction. Talent should be humored to
the breaking point.

PLAYBOY: Do you include yourself?
cavert: Yes, And let me clarify this. Any
performer knows that what looks like
egocentric nitpicking on his part really
isn't. An actor knows that a minor
change in his or her costume or settin
prop wrong can ruin a performance. 1
know that a guest's appearance can be
iw by seeing his name spelled wrong
out front and 1 get furious at the person
who misspelled it. Talent ike
thing. but performance is fragile and cin
be wrecked by a tiny irritation. Hf а
$10,000-a-week singer fires her lady valet
the wrong eyclashes for à
rance. it sounds cruel: but
even if she looks the same out front, she
may think she looks lousy and give a
lousy performance and shorten her ©-
And 10 get dadyvalit
jobs than ir is singing careers. This
sounds like the worst kind of aristocracy
bur it's justified. ОГ course, there arc
performers who enjoy being swinish ro
their underlings for no reason. 1 hate
that, too, But the fact remains that only
a performer knows what makes it possi-
ble for him to perform. and you just
have to take word for it. Or hers.
PLAYBOY: It sometimes seems that one of
the prerogatives of talent is to appear on
talk shows drunk or stoned. How often
do your guests appear in that cond
cavert “Twenty-three percent of the timc
I don't know. I've had some people on
who I was pretty sure were one or the
other or even both, but some people
that way without introducing any che
Is. legal or otherwise. into their bodies,
Some just have jet fatigue. I had Judy
id on once in the morning and I
15 definitely aware of something. but it
I to tell with her by that
any case, E found her very appealing. I
got the feeling Td known her for a long
time. She really ned like an o'd
friei ke that con.
cing. bur
sa quality that some actors have
PLAYBOY: Do you ever find. yourself sex-
ally attracted to female guests?

CAVETI- Yes. Оп my show as well as on
other people
PLAYBOY. Do you cver act on it?
CAVETT: Act on it? With the censor sit-
g right there? How fur would I get?
By the time I had her blouse ripped, the
(continued on page 170)

reer. Us e

me In.

| uU ' Qv SR
WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY?

A man who plays to win. Whether it's a game of chance or the game of romance, he always knows
just when to make the right move. And those moves are often influenced by the new ideas featured
in his magazine. Fact: PLAYBOY ranks first among major magazines in concentration of men who
regularly purchase new products. If you want to reach these adventuresome young men by the
millions, advertise іп the magazine that has the monopoly on them—PLAYBOY. (Source: B. f. .)

New York . Chicago . Detroit + Los Angeles + San Francisco Atlanta - London - Tokyo

ILLUSTRATION BY CHARLES BRAGG

WHERE AM I
NOW WHEN
I NEED ME?

fiction By GEORGE AXELROD

could cathy be as wildly sexy as
she sounded in her letters—or was
it all just a practical joke?

hed know soon enough

THis 16 A stice өтк. A journal, if nothing
more, of these last days. It will, 1 fear, drag
on for a time, as, alas, 1 shall pull no tr
Not only would my courage fail me at t
final, consummate moment of despair but my
wife, Margery, is chairman of the Sane Cun.
Law Committee of Westport, Connecticut,
n example of her good citizenship, is
sting that I tum over to the Wesiport
police my World War Two German P-38. It
is rusty, of course, and to my knowledge
has not once been fired in joy, much less
in anger.

es. Often, in the cock
twilight of evening, I break it
and arouse one or more of the bare-midiitled
wives of my neighbors with the tale of how I
had, in the Ardennes Forest, stooped and
plucked the thing from the holster of my
fallen victim. usually an SS colonel. God,
Harvey, it's so hud to think of you as а
soldier! Mike never got any nearer 10 any-
thing than the Bush Terminal in Brooklyn!
Pause. Always the pause, Then:
bare-midiiffed-wife- of neighbor,
d by the mystery that lurks behind my
disillusioned eyes, eyes that have perhaps
seen too much) does it really feel like to
kill а man?
The easy shrug. The funny. twisted
way, nor wishing 10 s
g once again for the shaker.
Actually, 1 bought it (my rusted German
P-38) in the summer of 1945 from a drunken
Amy Air Force T/5 for a carton of Ches
terfields, which he, in turn, exchanged for
a brief ejaculation and an extended and

What with bare-oss hookers, joint-smoking fuzz ond
о bombed-outof-hisskull author, the apartment
was one of Fun City’s most eminently bustable spats,

PLAYBOY

extremely painful case of clap. Maybe I
ill not turn it in after all. Maybe 1 will
simply lock it in the filing cabinet here in
my study. Margery will never know.
Sleeping pills are out of the question.
would, I know, take too few and
simply wake somc hours later in a sem

private room, trembling with nausea
and disgrace,
I have a fear of high places.

And if one wished to drown oneself at
Pebble Beach (having no pool of one's
own and being too well mannered to
embarrass a more affluent neighbor), one
would have to walk out at least a quarter
of a mile over а nasty, pebbled bottom.
and then one would still be only waist
deep in slightly polluted water.

Nevertheless, I am dying.

Slowly.

But by my ow

This is a sui
My name is H:

m 46
author of
three novels, two volumes of poetry and
perhaps 400 book reviews, all of absurd.
hooks, reviewed for absurd publications.
My stomach hurts in the morning. 1 have
а bottle of vodka hidde: my desk at
the office. I am employed as an instructor
at the Best-Selling Writers’ School in
у Stratford, Connecticut. None of
my three novels was best selling. My two
volumes of poetry sold not at all. My 400
book reviews were all unfavorable.

My son, Bruce, is at Berkeley. He
sends me letters fr time to time, when
there is uouble with the carburetor. My
daughter, Linda, is a freshman at Bar
nard, where she is living, offcampus,
with Lester, а graduate student in Afri-
an ature. As there is no African
iterature to speak of, his time is very
much his own. And Linda's. She brought
him home to dinner last night. Guess
who's coming to dinner? I guessed. Mar-
gery beside herself in a kind of
ecstasy. We have not failed her! We
have not failed hey! was her war cry
throughout the horrid Sunday afternoon,

Lester is very black, indeed. Toward
the end of the evening, he twice ad-
dressed me as Baby in what I took to be
the pejorative sense. Otherwise, he was
pleasimt enough. And, I suppose, in a
, attractive. More attractive than Lin-
surely, who is, when it comes right
down to it, a rather fuzzy-looking gl.

Where. I wonder, are the tall girls.
anned legs and blonde
that 1 dreamed of in my

youth?

I awoke this morning filled with the
knowledge of impending death. It was
raining. It has been raining for a week.
My dreams had been of blue water and
sun-drenched beaches and tall girls with

long, suntamned legs and blonde hair
flying, running toward me in slow mo-
the manner of deodorant com-

the bedroom windows. Margery, thank
God, was still asleep. when I left the
house. My stomach hurt, but I have
mentioned that before. I drove (through
gusts and rain) to the office.

The office, the Best-Selling Writers’
School of Stratford, Connecticut, is
story edifice of s and steel, div
within, into cubicles, where we, the in-
structors, instruct by mail under artificial
Tight.

Before me on the plastic surface of my
desk lay the latest installment of the
wel by Mrs. Edna Mortimer (house-
wife), a new chapter in the memoirs of
son Bradley (U. S. A, Re-
tired), а sonnet (part, I regret to say, of an
extended sequence) by Charles Douglas
Potter (hairdresser), plus numerous less
xercises by students not so
iced. as Mrs. Mortimer, the general
and Charles Douglas Potter.

My secretary, Miss Akron (whose
name falsely suggests а beauty-contest
ht in the ma
ns from prospective
5 will contain a hlied-in
questionnaire and а sample of the appli-
cant's prose. Twenty-three of them this
morning. God help me!

Mrs. Mortimer's Iment de-
scribes the seduction of her heroine, a
movie star ineptly based on the character
of the late Marilyn Monroe, by a Jewish
psychiatrist. Jacqueline Susann and Phil
Roth will have a lot to answer for when
they finally reach that Great Lending
the Sky.
ag even harder now. I think
T shall add a stab of vodka to the instant
coffee Miss Akron has just placed before
mc. Then, on to Mrs. Mortimer and the
scduction of. Jacqueline Susann by Philip.
Roth. At least, Mr. Roth refers 10 it as
“pusy.” Mrs. Mortimer speaks of it as
“her pulsating virginia."

Self-pity overwhelms m

The general has been given his first
command. А post in Alaska. Alaska is am
American territory situated on the north-
western edge of the continent, he ob-
serves. He is thrilled and looks forward.
to a winter of high adventure. Mr. Po
ters sonnet (as usual) celebrates the
Grecian glories of the male body.
Someday, perhaps, 1 shall open an
envelope and out of it will fall. ...

BEST-SELLING WRITERS SCHOOL
Stratford, Connecticut
APPLICATION FORM AND LI
APTITUDE TEST.
(Please answer all questions, If more
space is required, answers should be
typed, double-spaced, on standard ge-

by 11” typing paper, using one side of
the sheet only. If, in our opinion, your
application shows that you have genuine
aptitude for writing, you will be assigned
to one of our instructors, all of whom,
by the way, are themselves professional
best-selling writers. Your application will
be processed as rapidly as possible and
you will be hearing from us in a very
few days. Good Luck!)

(1) Name: Cathy. I'm а girl with onl
а first name. The last names I make
up to suit the occasion. Lewis, Lovi-
bond, Lombard, Lamont. Choose one.
And even the
time to time and season to season.
ADDRESS: Cities. New York, Los An-
geles. Las Vegas. Miami. Choose one,
If 1 pass this test, you can reach mc,
if you move swiftly, at 2931 Northern
Boulevard, Astoria, Long Island. I
share aparunent 4D with Joanne.
Also a girl with only a first name
—that, too, subject to change without
notice. When we first met, she was
Rhoda and I was Eugenie. I think my
name showed greater imagination,
AGE: 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23, 24. Choose
one. Joanne (Rhoda) is the same age.
BANK: The Chase Manhattan. I have
a friend there. I have friends every-
where. I am а very friendly person. 1
enclose a signed check (m case I pass
the test). You fill in the amount. 1 am
also a very trus
PRESENT OCCU
is, of course, a euphemism, Did I spell
that right? I have no dictionary at the
moment. II I pass the test, I will buy
onc, Which do you recommend?
There are хо many. Actually, 1 have
done some modeling from time to
time. See enclosed. photograph.
EXPLAIN IN 100 WORDS WHAT YOU
HOPE ACHIEVE BY TAKING THIS
course. (Use separate sheet, as ex-
plained in the instructions above.)

(0)

то

SEPARATE SHEET 1
“What 1 Hope to Achieve by
Taking This Course”

What an asshole question! 1 hope to
become a bestselling writer. Why else
would I be tiking this course? I'm sorry.
I didu't mean 10 be vulgar, but it (ques
tion six) is so silly that 1 didn't know
what to answer. Actually, I think ques-
tions are more important than answers.
For example, docs а word like asshole,
which has a hyphen, count as one word
or two? That is the sort of thing 1 hope
to learn. And where to begin, That's
another problem, ) was born. . . . 1
awoke. . . . He plunged it into me. ..
‘Those are all possible beginnings. But
which? (100 words)
(7) To TEST YOUR

PLEASE WRITE A

LITERARY
500-WORD E

Any,
SAY ON

“He did smile a funny little smile when Dupree said, ‘We'll
settle it on the field of honor.’ ”

PLAYBOY

THE TOPIC: THE SINGLE MOST TRAN-
SCENDING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.
(Please use separate sheet or sheets,
as explained. above.)

SEPARATE SHEET 2

“The Single Most Transcend
Experience of My Life”
‘The single most transcending experi
ence of my life occurred in Webb City,
Missouri, when I was 16 years old. As a
young girl 1 was very ugly because of my
nose (which I inherited from Grandpa
who was known far and wide as Captain
Hook not because he was a captain of
anything) and my hair which was kind of
no colored and somewhat kinky. Not
kinky like we use it today such as m
ing it with boots and electric tooth-
brushes etc. Just all tight and curly and
sweaty in summer. Anyway I was really
stacked from the age of 11 on but it did
me no good because of my nose and hair
etc, At the time E had a big thing about
а boy named Harold something 1 have
forgotten his name who was in my class.
He would not even look at me of course
because of my nose and hair etc. He saw
me once in a bathing suit at the Fourth
of July picnic and said in my hearing
that if he could wrap an American flag
over my head so that he did not have to
look at my nose and hair etc. he would
consider throwing me one for Old Glory.
Do you have to put quotation marks if
he said it but you are just telling about
it? Anyway, Grandpa died (of drink) and
my share was $600 so against the wishes
of my mother who wanted the money
for herself to open a charm and tap-
dancing school I took the S600 and went
to К. C. (by bus) and bought myself a
nose job. There was enough left over so
I could get my hair bleached (suicide
blonde was the shade I chose) and
straightened and be fitted for a contra-
ceptive device. That was before the pill
Can you imagine? It seems like the Dark
‘Ages! Anyway believe me it was worth
the $600 and one week to the day or
night actually from when the bandages
came off 1 was in the back seat of
Harold's Chevy. At the big moment for
him (personally 1 didn't feel much of
anything as my left leg was wrapped
around his neck and had fallen asleep)
he whispered for me to say the dirtiest
word I knew. Eager to oblige, as I am to
this very day, 1 did so. What I said was
ointment. I still think ointment is the
dirtiest word I know but I realize now
that that was probably not the word he
had in mind. Not only that but he
probably thought I was making an in-
sulting reference to his skin condition
which was not so hot and he had to keep
puting this suff on it although only at
night which didn't matter to me as he
was built handsome ex-
cept for his skin condition. Anyway he

was so upset that he twisted loose and
came all over my (500 words)

BEST-SELLING WRITERS SCHOOL
Stratford, Connecticut
Miss Cathy Lewis Lovibond Lombard
Lamont
Apartment 4D.
2931 Northern Boule:
Astoria, Long Island

Dear "Cathy":

Very funny. 1 assume that "you" are
one of three persons—Max Wilk, Ed
Hotchner or Max Shulman, all good
iends and neighbors in the Westport-
Staford area. What 1 can't understand

is why you would take the trouble to do
this to me! A practical joke I сап under-
ly to open

stand. But the lengths: Act
an account

under that preposterous series of пате
("Your" check in the amount of $500 has
eared.) What is the purpose? What harm
have I ever done you? I suppose, like
most writers, you still bear a grudge
(grudges? Perhaps the three of you are
in this together!) over reviews 1 have
written of your various books from time
to time. But even .

All right, We've had а good laugh. I
would be interested, however, to know
where you got the photograph. Is she
real? Is there such a girl? Do you know
her? Could 1 meet her? You see, you
bastards, your vicious, black practical
joke has worked. The seeds of doubt (or
is it beliel?) have been planted. Five
hundred dollars for a practical joke?
Very much out of character for three
internationally famous cheap skates like
you. I don't know. I don’t know.

Bruce's car has broken down altogeth
er. This time, it has to do with the
ion. Four hundred dollars is re
quested айтай special Linda is still
with that unspeakable schwarza. Mar
gery is going through (as she has been
since the day we were married 22 years
ago) change of life. I am, unlike your-
selves, no longer publishable, I am
failed. 1 am vulnerable. This is a suicide
note

But, my God, if there were such a
girl! 1 could teach her and mold her!
("And screw her," I hear you dirty bas-
tards chortling to one another
read this) My life would be changed.
‘There would be a reason to get up in
ihe morning and drive to this
office and read and correct all t
ful, untalented, hopeless prose. Why
does every asshole (asshole, by the way.
is not necessarily hyphenated) їп the
world think he can write fiction? And

why is it all, the very worst of it, the
dregs of it, inflicted on me?
Frankly, Cathy, Max, Ed, Max, whocy-

er you are, I have a confession to make.
I have already been at the vodka bottle
that I keep hidden in my desk. 1 have

three belts, plus the shot 1 regularly
into Miss Akron's version of in-
nt coffee. It is still raining, as it has
been for the past week. I am, on
this hateful March morning, in the mood
to believe.

Perhaps, Cathy, you are real!

But I must have proof! J will not, in
my precarious condition, devote the w
ing days of my life to laboring over.
struggling to corea, struggling 10 im-
prove a series of “lessons” concocted
amid roars of laughter, over drunken
lunches, by my three socalled friends.
Lessons that will later be read aloud
with ghoulish glee at some unfortunate
cocktail party, Very probably with my
wife and daughter and boogie soon-l
fearto-be (this is an interesting use of
the hyphen, forming, as it does, а com-
pound adjective) son-in-law present

Max! Ed! Мах! Don't do this to
me! If it is a joke, drop it now. You've
made your point, whatever it might have
been.

But, Cathy, if you are real, there is no

Jin

You know life, I know grammar and
sentence structure. Together, we can own
the world. I will teach you to become a
bestselling writer. And you can teach
me... what? 1 don't know. To live, 1
suppose. Or at least to want to. (5
times a sentence can be ended with a
preposition, but only for intentional dra-
matic effect.)

T am quite drink now and it is only
cleven-thirty-five. 1 have suddenly be-
come very conscious of the hyphen. 1,
myself, tend to over-use it; as I do the
semi-colon. 1t is rainy and cold here. As I
stare morosely through the window at
the flooded parking lot, 1 realize what it
is 1 am actually dying of. 1 am dying of
despair! I will mail this myself, ill
typed as it is, as J do mot want
Akron to see it, And ] wish to m
before I have second thoughts.

Most sincerely
(on my part a
hope on yours),
Your instructor
H.B.

ч!

Dear H. B.,

Of course I am real. The photograph
was taken two ycars ago and 1 have put
on a pound or so since but only (so 1
am told) in the right places. 1 was gl
to learn that asshole docs not necd
hyphen. You learn something new every
day. 1 have never thought very much
about the semi-colon but that is inten
ing too. I'm sure you can teach me 10
become a best-selling writer.

You did not say in your letter whether
or not 1 passed the test, As a mauer of
fact your letter sounded kind of crazy
You do mot sound like a very happy
person. But I guess most bestselling writ-
ers are unhappy and have a tendency to

(continued on page 92)

A PLAYBOY PAD:

WALK-IN WORK OF ART

designed for creation and recreation, a miami sculptor-
painters multiskylighted digs invite the sunshine т

WHEN ARTIST Sebastian Trovato felt the need for more living
space than his Manhattan apartment afforded, he decided to
seck not only larger quarters but a warm climate as well. So he
looked southward and eventually relocated in Miami, attracted
by the omnipresence of the city’s fabled sun, yet taking wary
note of its often blistering intensity. Trovato kept both of these

As seen from the entrance terrace, the ingeniously designed home of
Sebastian Trovoto is an ortful arrangement of mossive cylindricol ond
block shapes. The entryway is just to the right of the lorge column
in the foreground. At right, o living-room view tokes in the terrace.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BILL MARRIS

Top left, looking down from the bedroom:
Guests enjoy the heated pool, which is open
to the sky, ond later gother for dinner,
above. The textural contrast of sleek glass-

and-steel furniture against the rough ma-
sonry walls creotes o stri
the dining room. At left, a couple shares
the sunken tub, where the only intruder is a
Trovato sculpture with soaps and toiletries.

ing visual effect in

solar characteristics in mind when he
commissioned architect Milton Harry to
design the modern Southern mansion
pictured on these pages, specifying a
superabundance of skylights (there are six
in the studio-gallery alone) to take ad-
vantage of the natural light, but just a
few strategically placed long glass slits to
serve the purpose of conventional windows

A detailed floor plan, at right,
emphasizes the structurally un-
complicated layout of the hame.
Notice that the pool, located just
to the right of the entrance-ter-
race wall, is in convenient prox-
imity to the living room, making
it an integral part of the total
design and—since it's so acces-
sible—much used. Also shown,
outdoors, are the courtyard, sun
deck, storage hut and carport,
which together total 1600
square feet. Below: The living
room, with its brightly carpeted
stairway that leads up to the
master bedroom, features re-
cessed theostat-controlled cei
ing lights and hanging flood
lamps that showcase the current
Trovato paintings on display.

and also limit the penetration of Florida
sunrays. The resulting masonry-and-wood
structure is a privacy lover's fortress, due
to the largely glassfree facade. Not that
Trovatos a recluse, but he enjoys the
sealed-off ambiance because it helps him
maintain an uninterrupted and pro-
ductive workday, whether he's wielding
brush and chisel or negotiating with a

prospective client, since he also keeps
his business appointments in the
suxlio gallery. Though the house looks
impregnable from without, there's a
refreshing free-to-roam feeling inside
and one is subliminally urged to do
so by a flowing, unduttered layout
(permanent doors close only the bath-
rooms) that covers 3800 square feet
The large studio-gallery—featuring a

stereo system (that often plays high-
decibel opera, to the owner's taste),
bar, storage wall and sunken work pit
where guess can peruse the current
assemblage of "Trovato's work—is really
the heart of the place, since both social

The home's action central is the stu

gallery, above, where the artist does
most of his entertaining. Dominated by a
huge rectangular skylight, it was de-
signed on two levels, with a walkway
surrounding the artist's sunken work
area. Left: A gleaming sculpture, recent-
ly a prize winner for Trovato in a local
exhibition, is an display in one corner of
the room. At right, behind the cylindrical
wall, is the bath/ dressing room. А! far
right, a welcome guest takes a late-hour
swim that is plainly as pleasurable for the
beholder as it is for the skinny-dipper.

and creative activities take place there
Also on the ground floor are the kitchen,
living room, dining room, pool. bath,
utility area and—adjoining the studio—

courtyard. The second story, which is
an open bedroom, commands a pleasant
view of the pool and tropical foliage
below. Trovato has demonstrated yet

another facet of his nonlinear artistic

talent by designing as well as creating

most of the furnishings. The few excep

tions are classic Mies van der Rohe
pieces. Justifiably proud of his carefully
planned sun castle, Trovato says that, un.
like the constantly changing display of
canvases and sculptures in his studio-
gallery, there are no plans for selling this
Trovato creation for many years to com

POLLUTED
MAN

fantasy
By ARTHUR KRETCHMER

the survival of the
fittest is one thing—but was
darwin ready for homo effluviens?

2,000,000 в.с.
ANTHROPOID APE

THE PRIMARY PURPOSE of evolution, ac
cording to anthropologists, is to enable
the members of a species to adapt to a
hostile environment—as illustrated by
the fact that the greatest changes in
early man came about 1,000,000 years
ago, during successive Ice Ages.

These days, anyone who tries to
breathe, sec or cat knows that our own
environment is no slouch when it comes
to hostility, and it's our guess that an
other set of extensive changes in man will

500,000 B.C.

JAVA MAN (HOMO ERECTUS)

the next hall century
or so—the Crud Age. Only those humans
who evolve and perfect organic anti-pol-
lution defenses will survive—a process
that may well be pushed along by genetic
research. (Io those who argue that so-
ciety is capable of elimi the envi-
ronmental threat to mankind, we would
point out that society works through
politics and anyone who would bet on
politics over the ural selec-
tion is doomed to ex ) We suspect

30,000 вс
MODERN MAN (HOMO SAPIENS)

ıd joy of the evolved
s will look very
much like the specimen below.
Polluted Man's eyes are quite la
the better to see through the smoggy
darknes

acids and particulate matter. His over-
developed, spatulate index finger enables
him to more easily push buttons—his
main activity. His poor ear, degenerated

SPATULATE 7.
INDEX FINGER:

HYPERTROPHIC
LUNG CAPACITY

EXPANDED BUTTOCKS

ENLARGED TESTICLES

protective flap. The
nose just couldn't keep up with the bad
nd has been replaced by a far more

ated set of filters. And the mouth

augmented by a set of pouches for storing
food that will be slowly detoxified by new

y enzymes, The lungs needed help
to suck the good oxygen out of all that
bad air, so their capacity has increased

2000 A.D.

ILLUSTRATION BY OON PUNCHATZ

more than fourfold, The buttocks have
expanded w
of the long le;
with disu d because smog seems to
cause sterility—rats exposed to amounts of
smog comparable to that faced by the aver
age traffic cop have markedly reduced birth
rates—the testicles have grown to th
, Polluted M

one hell of а lot better equipped for
life in the 21st Century than you are.

ENLARGED PUPILS
WITH TRANSPARENT
NICTITATING MEMBRANES

DEGENERATED AURICLE
WITH FLAP

MULTIFILTERED
RESPIRATORY SYSTEM

DETOXIFICATION
POUCHES

ATROPHIED
ARM AND LEG
MUSCLES

POLLUTED MAN (HOMO EFFLUVIENS)

PLATEOGOT

WHERE AM I? ||. from page 81)

too much from е to time. 1
nt a weekend with a best-selling
writer (in Miami) and he drank the
whole time. He also cried a lot. After-
ard, I read two of books (both best
sellers) They were very kinky (boots,
electric toothbrushes etc.) but also very
beautiful. I must say he wrote about it a
lot better than he did it in real life. But
probably he does it better when he is not
pissed. Many people do.

Are you a best-selling writer? Have I
ever read any of your books? Could you
send me one or two? (I will pay for
them of course.) Please write soon and
tell me if [ passed the test. And what
you want me to do next. Will there be
regular printed lessons or will you just
write and tell me what to do?

Your ſriend
(and I hope student),
Cathy

1 ran into Max Wilk at a cocktail
party two nights ago. Shulman, he tells
me, is in Hollywood; Hotchner is in
Europe; so that, more or less, rules them
out. 1 dropped several not-too-veiled
s about prostitutes with literary am-
and bank accounts at the Chase
„ He looked at me blankly.
clearly assuming I was drunk. Since he
no longer drinks (gout), he assumes that
everyone else is drunk at all times. He
has a new novel. I have been asked to
it for the Diner's Club ma
zine. I reviewed an early Phil Roth book
for Partisan Review. Now I am dying
and unpublishable (except by the Dim
ers Club magazine) in Westport. Where
are the golden girls of my dreams?
Where are the reviews by Roth of my
new novels? Oh, God! Perhaps Ed
Hotchner will review my suicide note.
For Popular Mechanics.

1 have locked Cathy's photograph
the drawer where I keep the vodka. Last
ight, shortly after the 1lo'dock news,
Margery turned insanely amorous. It was
not a happy occasion, I had already
taken my pills She had already done
whatever it is she does to herself at night
that makes her look rather as she does in.
the daytime only more so. I could. not
for the life of me get it up. Then I
thought of Cathy. The effect was extraor-
dinary. 1 have not performed with such
style in years. I found myself suddenly
thinking “kinky” thoughts, I am toying
with the idea of obtaining an electric
toothbrush. How in God's name, 1 won-
der, does one employ such an instrument
sexually? At the moment of climax, I
murmured the word ointment into Mar-
arplug. (She had, in her sudden
Forgotten to remove them.) Very
satisfactory. Of course, like so many
best-selling writers, I was pissed.

dri
once sp

ks I am not a bestselling writer. I
a 46year-old drunken failure.

a ng alone in the dark in the

fast nook with a vodka and Fresca,

ng. The general finds I
new post near Juneau, Alaska (an Ameri-
can territory on the northwestern edge
of the continent), ppointing. But
there is, he writes, an ample supply of
whiskey at the officers mess. He is grate
ful for small blessings.

Mrs. Mortimer's heroine Madelene's
virginia (sic) continues to pulsate (sic)
merrily. Sick. (Me) Albert, the subject
of Mr. Potter's sonnet sequence, contin-
ues to bulge provocatively at the crotch
of his jeans. He (Mr. Potter), unforu
nately, chooses to rhyme “provocativel
with “sock it to me” as the final couplet
of Sonnet 163.

This is a sui

l must make a decision. Either Cathy
eal or she isn't. If she is (have I
judged the whole matter? Are Max
and Fd and Max innocent? Could this
bc а practical joke devised by Phil
Roth and Miss Susann?), then | must
answer her letter. 1 must begin her
course of instruction. Her check was
good. She is (I have made my decision)
awaiting, with pulsating virginia, my an-
wer Astoria (as an address) is beyond
the inventive powers of any of the afore-
mentioned best-selling assholes. I (frank-
ly) have no idea if asshole should be
hyphenated ог not. But as an instructor
of creative writing, I must take a firm (if
not bulging) position. I shall write her
in a moment or two. As soon as I sneak
another lool / drink from my locked
drawer.

God, she is beautiful. Can she be real?

I believe! I believe! I believe!

I believe in the stork! I believe in
a Claus! I believe in God! 1 be-
lieve in the fucking Easter bunny!

I believe in Cathy Lewis Lovibond
Lombard Lamont!

Harvey Bernstein (I have begun to
think of myself in the third person—a
sign, I have read, of impending madness)
opens his desk drawer.

He takes out the vodka bottle and
places it shamelessly before him on the
desk. He takes out the photograph. He
studies it; thinking kinky thoughts, until
the crotch of his baggy gray flannels
bulges as provocatively as the jeans of
Mr. Potter's Albert.

He takes a belt from the neck of the
bottle. He reaches for a sheet of paper,
inserts it into his typewriter and begins
to tap the keys.

Dear Cathy,
Good news!
You have passed the test!

Tt is very important for a writer
who wishes to become a best-selling
author to choose a subject with
which he or she is familiar. As your
ifc appears to be a most interesting
one, 1 think we might begin by
having you continue with your auto-
biography, starting at the point
where you left off in your most
interesting 500-word essay. .

Ihe letter itself ran 13 pages, growing
(1 fear) more incoherent as he con-
sumed vodka; and passion, in turn, con-
sumed him. His concluding sentence was
“I love you.” Which I hope 1 had the
sense to X out before mailing, but 1 do
not remember.

I am 46 years old. 1 drink in the
mornings. I am in love with a 18-, 19, 20-,
21 22. 93. 24- (choose one) year-old
prostitute whom I have never met.

This way surely leads to the self-
destruction I so desperately seek.

The auto-da-fé has begun.

But it will take some time for the
flames to consume me.

(Suicide note to be continucd.)

"Out of your mothergrabbing mi
Joanne said as she wandered in from
the bathroom, drying her hair with a
large, mascara-stained towel. Joanne,
formerly Rhoda and, before that, God
knows what, had been considered for
most of her life a dumb, rather sexy-look-
ing blonde. As she had recently changed
her hair color, she was now generally
regarded as a dumb. rather sexy-looking
brunette.

Cathy found her roommate's stup
essentially soothing.

One of the things that amused and
soothed her most about Joanne was
Joanne's absolute refusal to accept the
fact that they were both prostitutes.

“Prostitute?” а recent argument had.
"Wednesday night, Gene let me
into the Colony in a pants suit. Do you
think he'd let some cheap hooker in
there with a pants sui? А restaurateur
like Gene is a great judge of people!
He has to be! That's his thing! Judg-
ing people. Judging, like, who should get
the right table. Judging, like, are they
good for the check. Shit like that. So, if 1
was a prostitute, don't you think Gene
would be the first one to know it?

So touched was Cathy by this
reasoning that she politely тега
from pointing out that while her room.
mate had, indeed, been admitted to the
Colony in a pants suit, she had been
admitted as а member of a party of
the host being a world-famous movie star
whom that excellent judge of character,
Gene, judged (correctly) to have arrived
t the door at a pitch of dru
likely to explode into violence

(continued on page 212)

rui

THE CURIDUS
STORY OF

in which
the lowly miss
latimer is
reduced to a
shadow of her

former self

“Curiouser and curiouser!” cried
Alice as she felt herself alternately,
shrinking and growing in Lewis Carroll's
classic. Actress Cherie Latimer might

be equally mystified over what
happened to her during the editing

of MGM's newly released film Alex in
Wonderland, When shooting began.

on Alex, which stars Donald Sutherland
as а film maker who con't face

success, Cherie was cast in a dual role
оз a girlfriend and as one of some
50 fantasized figures af Alex's idol,
Federico Fellini. But the film ran long,
Cherie's big part was cul—"she was
fine in it, but the scene wasn’t necessary
to the film,” explains director Poul
Mazursky—and naw she’s seen only
briefly as a shadowy Fellini

Cherie (above) and other embodiments
of Fellini—one of whom is the renowned
director himself—merge with other
images in the haunted mind of Alex.
Star Sutherland (right), producer Larry
Tucker and director Mazursky come

1o Alex fresh from box-office successes,
Sutherland in M. A. S. Н. end the Tucker-
Mazursky team with Bob & Carol & Ted &
Alice. Mazursky, who also portrays a
producer named Stern in Alex, refused to

ask his cast to do anything he wouldn't
do himself: Inset below, bare-Sterned,
he directs a nude scene on location.

His first film a smash hit, Alex
can't decide what to tackle

next. He envisions films on such
relevant contemporary topics as air
pollution, the Vietnam war and the
black-pawer struggle—imagining
himself (at right and below) on

the beach at Malibu, surrounded
by hundreds af blacks, wha emerge
from the ocean and begin

dancing ecstatically an the

sand to the frenzied

beat of African drums.

Although Cherie—seen above with
Sutherland —hos played bit parts in two
holion films and featured roles an several
television shows, Alex in Wonderland
wes to have been her first major movi
Things cre locking up again now; she's
been cost in A Kiss from Eddie.

Cherie hos been stage-struck since
childhood, but, to keep her mother
hoppy, studied interior design ot the
Chomberlin School in Boston. Given
Cherie's outstonding exterior design,
we're sure she'll soon be able to turn
her career from shadow to substonce,

SHARK!

article By PETER MATTHIESSEN an author journalist and a team of.

makers set out in quest of the most fearsome е in the sea and 2 D it

1 first saw sharks some 30 years ago, on the fishing grounds off Montauk Point, Long
Island. I was a boy then, awed by the silent fin, the shadow in the sea, and when it comes
10 sharks, I am still a boy today. Big blue sharks and hammetheads were so common off
Montauk that one might see 70 in a single day, and once we caught а Il fool mako that
tose to fasten on a hooked tuna. The mako and the porbeagle shark of cold northern
deeps share with the great white shark the stiff crescent tail that distinguishes this family
of swift ocean swimmers—Isuridae, the mackerel sharks—from other large pelagic species
such as the blue and hammerhead, which have asymmetrical tails with the upper lobe more
extended than the lower.

Among man-eating sharks, the great white is much the largest, most dangerous and

most mysterious. A 13-foot white would weigh half again as much as that big mako and
the species is further distinguished by large black eyes—all black, like holes in a shroud.
a conical snout that gives it one of its Australian nicknames, “white pointer” (another
nickname is "while death"), and triangular teeth with a serrate edge like that of a saw
These terrible teeth are identical or nearly so to those of its nearest relative, a great shark
common т the Pleistocene that attained well over 100 jeet in length: This was Carcharo-
don megalodon, apparently so similar to the white shark, Carcharodon carcharias, thal the
extinct species and the living one ure assigned to the same genus. A few ichthyologists have
wondered if the two species are not identical, which suggests in tum the remote possibility
that somewhere in the ocean depths, feeding on giant squid, perhaps, as sperm whales do,
a few of the great megalodon might still exist.

The first white shark I ever saw—a cadaver-colored 17.5-foot brute weighing well over
iwo tons that was harpooned off Montauk and towed ashore in June 1964—also excited
the imagination of а man named Peter Gimbel and gave him the idea for а film, to be
released this spring by Cinema Genter, chronicling a search for the great white that 1 was
10 join.

К Gimbel, who got the Life pictures of the Andrea Doria where she lay sunk in the deep
ocean currents off Nantucket, was already an established. diver when—to ihe great disap-
pointment of his father, who wanted him in the family company—he left Wall Street a
decade ago to make a film on blue sharks, lead a parachuting expedition into the cloud
forests of Peru, swim under the antarctic ice to photograph Weddell seals, and comport
himself generally in the manner of а man bent on systematic self-destruction. “I have no
pride or rules about courage,” he says. “I go when I feel dominance over the situation,
and not оп days when I'm afraid—those are the days that you get hurt.” For years he has
fought off the suggestion that he is out to test himself, or is ruled by some sort of death
wish. “Danger doesn't interest me, but I’m curious and 1 think everybody's curious to find
out just what their limits are under situations that exert a certain amount of stress on
them. J would be just as curious, for example, to know what my limits ате as a gambler,
but 1 already know that, so Рт rot curious: I’m a lousy gambler.”

Peter's arguments are invariably well-reasoned and sincere, and yet, sensing that some
small piece of self-awareness is missing, one goes away unsatisfied. 1 have listened 10 him
for years, and I always believe him when he speaks, but still the questions keep occurring
In а careful way, with impeccable”preparations, he seeks out ways to test what he calls “the
limits,” and of course this search has no real end to it but death. Still, 1 don't think this

SCULPTURE BY PARVIZ SADIGHIAN

100

is a death wish, unless dread of death is the same thing.
IL is as if, by confronting death over and over, he might
end some awful suspense about it, or dissipate it in some
way. More than any man I have ever met, Gimbel,
now 43, loathes the aging process in himself. “I look
into the mirror and I haie what I see there, and it's
just happened in the last year,” he says, cursing his face
lines and gray һай, though in fact his hair turned
quite gray several years ago. And this lack of serenity
in the face of his own transience seems oul of character
to the people around him. As Valerie Taylor says,
“Peter's so great the way he is, he shouldn't need to
suck his tummy in and hide his bald spot when the
camera's on him”

Since, in some respects, our explorations have been
similar, I am sympathetic with Peter's need to find out
what the limits are; the original motivations may be
ambiguous, but attacks upon this life style ате often
ambiguous as well—as if the need to attack betrayed a
fear m the attacker that his own life seeps away from
him unlived.

Valerie Taylor was one of four divers who served as
principals in Gumbel film: The others were her hus-
band, Ron—the Taylors are both Australian skindiving
champions—Stan Waterman, an American underwater-
film maker, and Gimbel himself. Ron, Stan and Peler
served as underwater cameramen and Peter was also
the film's director and producer. These four, with a
small surface crew, first met in Durban, South Africa,
in April 1969, in the hope that the great white shark
would turn up among the big oceanic sharks attracted
to the carcasses of harpooned sperm whales off the
coast. The whites never appeared, but the spectacle of
100 or more big sharks seen simultaneously by photog:
raphers who eventually swam freely with them in the
open water was the subject of the most striking shark
footage ever taken by anyone until thal lime, though
its eminence was to endure but a few months. From
Durban, in that spring and summer, the expedition
went to Ceylon, Madagascar, the Seychelles, the Como
ros and islands in the Mozambique Channel. Every-
where the great white eluded us.

In New York in August and September, Gimbel
assembled a rough cut, or “assembly,” of the footage,
designed to prove to Cinema Center that the film
necded a climax; the assembly was screened in. mid-
October. Afterward Gimbel persuaded the company ex-
ecuttves that the Taylors had invariably located white
sharks in South Australia's Spencer Gulf, and that even
if his own expedition failed to do so, the material al
ready obtained would be infinitely more interesting
with the addition of the Australian footage. Since the
extra. expense would be relatively small, it would be
Jolly not to pursue the search lo the end.

PORT LINCOLN 15 LOCATED on the barren Eyre Peninsula
of South Australia, which forms the western shore of
Spencer Gulf. The foremost fishing port of Aus
nd a shipping center for the wheat and livestock
ranches of this region, it is also a summer resort with
a beach front on its bread pale bay, South of the town,
toward the uninhabited tip of the peninsula, is a dry
rolling scrub of gum and Casuarina and Melaleuca
where, at dawn one morning, we аъ kangaroo and

emu. Westward, the scrub dies away in the dry wastes
of the Nullarbor Plain, the never-never country of the

borigine
‘The expedition was housed at the Tasman Hotel,
overlooking the beach boulevard and the а storc-
house-workshop was set up in a shed behind. The origi-
nal film crew was still mostly intact, but the hard job
of production manager had been given to an Australian
whose experience in the waters of

Fox, a [airhaired,
volved in more white-sh
person and the pattern of his experiences is weird. In
1961, when he won the South Australian Skindiving and
Spearfishing Championship—this is free diving. without

i of scuba tanks—his chief competitor was his friend

Brian Rodger, who had been state champion the year
before. Late one afternoon in March, during а “сотр”
at Aldinga Beach, south of Adelaide, the two were swim-
ming close to each other when a shark seized Rodger
by the leg. He wrenched himself free, but the shark
me in again, and this time he deflected it with a
point-blank shot [rom his sling spear gun. Though the
barb scarcely dented its tough hide, the shark veered
off, and Rodger, bleeding badly—his wounds required
some 200 stitches—used the rubber sling from his spear
gun as а tourniquet on his leg, then struggled on,
unaided; he was finally picked up by a rowboat near
the shorc.
Fox was beneath the surface during the attack and
vas never aware of it; all he saw was the swift approach
of a white shark that came in and cirded him closely,
so dosely at times that he could have touched it with
his spear gun. Even as he spun desperately in the water,
he had to keep going to the surface to get air. Then
he would dive for the bottom, 30 feet down, seeking
protection, and creep а little way inshore. Relentlessly,
the big shark cirded, and Fox is convinced that this
was the one that Rodger had driven off, returning now
along the trail of Rodger's blood; since both men wo
black suits. it might have mistaken Fox for its original
prey. This distraction, which Rodney thinks could not
have been less than ten minutes, may well have spared
his bleeding friend from further attack.

As the minutes passed and the shark persisted, Rod-
ney had to fight a growing panic. He was still a half
mile offshore, and was spending his Јам energies going
to the bottom. Even when the shark was gone, he felt
certain that it would return, and the day was growing
latc; he was most frightened of all that dark would fall
while he was still alone in the open water. But the shark
never reappeared and he got ashore.

Fox became state champion that year and was runner-
up the next; in 1963, it was expected that he would
regain the South Australian title, and Ron Taylor, who
was champion of New South Wales, thought that
Rodney was the man to beat for the championship of
all Australia. Once again the South Australian competi-
Beach, which is noted for its
plentiful fish and is only 34 miles south of Adelaide,
and this time Fox was swimming near Bruce Farley, the
cook-deck hand on the film-expedition motor ketch, the
That Sunday, there were 40 divers in the com
„ which was based on the number of fish species
taken as well as total (continued on page 152)

tion was held at Aldinga

ÉL

“Now that we know each other, Mr. Radcliff, can't you
stop referring lo me as 'occupant ?"

101

THE MINI REVOLUTION

modern living By KEN W. PURDY

Pecos Trail. It was not X called Rattlesnake Raceway out of whimsy:" dhe flat, arid. countrys ide ‘around it, sparsely
covered with coarse grasses, tumbleweed, mesquite and other desert vegetation, supports a formidable population.
of Crotalus atrox. The snakes come out of the bush to sun themselves on the watm coricrete of the track, and driv’,
ers now and then run over one; sometimes they-go back and stone it to death. Out past the perimeter of the prop-
Cur there are groves of pecan trees, white-dotted. cotton fields and, fallow, die warm red Texas earth. This is oil

fy 1
second fractions. required to shift наю thi
cells: rim the track and it can be wetted down: from Hegi ing
had not been open to any publication | forex 150
pact, automobiles that were likely to demonstrate ‘only s

playboy tests 14 small cars—leading combatants in the
— growing subcompact battle between detroit
х and the foreigners —to see whether or
not motown’s auto makers have
what it takes to stand
Ё up against thc.

invaders _

othe project; Don Gates, chief vehicle engineer, formerly chief of the Product Performance Engineering. Group at
evrolet Research and Development; Wesley Sweet and Harold, Gafford, race mechanics; Jim Hall, founder of
"Ch parral and one of the legendary figures, both, as. driver and builder, i 8. road racing; and Chaparral execu-
‘vice-president Cameron R. Argetsinger- who created’ Watkins Glen, oldest of American road races. We all
drove the cars (Austin América, Capri, Colt, Cricket, Datsun $10, Fiat 850; Gremlin, Opel 1900; Pinto, Renault
оша Corona, Vega GT, Volkswagen Super Beetle) many miles on the circuit and on the road.

Jim Hall partiailarly sensitive to a veliicles performance о on Rattlesnake, because in che development of his
own cars, which: been fabulobaly iccessful here and in Europe, he has driven more laps on it than he can
extainly high in the thousands. For à two-mile course, it has a lot of variety: a double 90-degree corner,

a Fast bend in the middle, à hard corner chat tightens up wickedly the farther one gets into it

a/180-foot radius that runs around the building housing th

ui and in the shops d down the lane from it that Hall and hi:

adhesion, for example), and it was on
Rattlesnake Raceway that the almost
incredible Chaparral 2-J—the "vacuum-
leaner” car designed for Hall by а team
of ten men led by Don Gates—first ran.

Purdy takes a Gremlin around the Rattlesnake Raceway test track. The apparatus taped
to the fender electronically transmits information to recorders housed on the skid pad.
The track, right—one of the country’s most sophisticated testing circuits—provided
Purdy ond his team with microscopically precise бото on every aspect of performance.

The new small cars come to the U.S. Building complex off to the left of track houses Chaparral Cars’ shops and offices.
market under the force of compelling

logic: ‘The Volkswagen showed the way
20 years ago, and when the sales of VWs,
Renaults, Fiats and the like began to
round ten percent of the U.S. total,
Detroit policy setters had to concede that
somebody out there wanted them besides
саг snobs, budgeteers and eccentrics. The
retums are in now, and they affirm
what many experts in various ficlds have
felt for some time: We cannot indef-
initely justify 3000-pound, 300-horsepow
er, nine-miles-per-gallon vehicles for the
transportation of one or two people. It's
likely that in 25 years the four-car fami-
ly will be commonplace and that all
four autos will fit comfortably into today's
two-car garages still standing.

‘The equation contains factors beyond
the obvious ones of economy, ecology,
historical imperative, Ralph Nader's
stunning appearance on the national
scene in the role of David against the |
industry's Goliath, and Federal interven-
tion. One of those factors is the post-War
travel and (continued on page 190)!

MAKE AND MODEL Ea 89 mes E буп wisis nd E Fa E Г
Austin America Ti mph 221sec. 328 M8ft 81 68 80 61.5 9.54 1226165. 907.2 Ibs.
Capri Sport Coupe 99 158 27.4 132 OL 67 75 59 954 1346 9778
Colt 2-door 91 13 82 158 77 62 76 58 9.72 125 867.3
Cricket 85 16.6 298 133 50 66 176 64 922 143.8 861
Datsun 510 2-door 90 18.6 30.6 145 83 60 78 605 954 125 965
Fiat 850 Sport Coupe 91 17.2 44.5 139 87 69 80 62 955 1057 5901
Gremlin 99 143 256 183 66 66 78 599 996 154.4 12293
Opel 1900 Sport Coupe 97 13.8 29.1 132 91 68 79 595 9.53 1301 39183
Pinto. 8l 20 303 162 E! 69 82 60 95 149 10112
Renault RIO 83 17.6 36.2 149 E 66 78 615 9.53 1216 8/63
Saab 99E 4-door 93 15.9 294 151 80 61 172 61.5 101 133.1 10417
Toyota Corona 4-door 91 155 299 147 82 67 78 61.5 956 144.7 9483
Vega GT 95 128 308 127 95 n 19 59 995 1418 9769
Казан Super Beetle 78 19 326 132 E 6 19 63 916 1224 9767
га арріїс; ist short of locking the wheel:

EU force that is trying to move the car sideways and is being resisted by the car's adhesion to the ground.
+The combination of all the forces that cause the car to decelerate: friction resistance, rolling resistance, air resistance—the higher
“the figure, the greater the drag.

106

By BRUNO BETTELHEIM

TO UNDERSTAND why authority in this
country is under such vehement attack,
one must look to American fathers. Just
as the ineptitude, moral collapse and
failure of nerve of the French aristocracy
paved the way for the great Revolution of
1789, so the loss of a distinct role for the
fathers has much to do with today's
rebellion of the young. Freud found the
roots of Victorian emotional problems in
the excesses of stern, authoritarian patri
archs. Conversely, if some modern boys
engage in rampages, I believe we can
trace it to the virtual abdication of their
dads from any sort of clear-cut position
in the family.

The present situation is the logical
result of developments that began in the
19th Gentury. In the past 70 years, women
have achieved biological and technolog
ical liberation. The advent of contra
ception, while it did not greatly reduce
the actual number of children reared 10
maturity (which was formerly decreased by
miscarriage, stillbirth and childhood dis-
eases), did put an end to the incessant
pregnancies that had drained women's
time and energy. And with the general
economic prosperity resulting from tech
nological progress, women in the upper
classes of the Western nations became
able, as economist Thorstein Veblen saw
it, to lead lives of ceremonial futility
Thus, in the early years of the 20th Cen-
tury, the popular notion of normal life
was that of man doing the productive
work, while woman was an ornamental
consumer.

This notion never quite matched reali.
ty, certainly not among the working
classes, but it dominated the imagination
of the well-to-do European and Ameri
can bourgeoisie until World War Two.
Eventually, though, women became dis-
satisfied with their empty existences. The
War presented an opportunity to become
more active. Many wives and mothers
went to work. Others became socially con.
cerned, vigorously involving themselves
in reformist and humane activities—the
P.T.A., the League of Women Voters,
Planned Parenthood, local women's clubs,
d s and the like. The socially act
housewife was able to be as busy as her
husband, but her activity sprang from
interest rather than necessity. As a result,
her commitment was exciting, dramatic,
but not necessarily enduring. If politics
palled, she might turn to gardening,

As for the father, at the opening of this
era he usually believed that his work was
vitally important, because without him
the family could not survive. “I have to
take care of them," the middle-class fa
ther proudly told himself. I am respon-
sible. They are weak. Without me, they
would perish.

Sometimes, after a husband died, a
woman might go to work and be more of
a financial (continued on page 124)

THE ROOTS OF
RADICALISM

a psychoanalyst and a sociologist
diagnose the environmental factors
that mold young people into

enemies or defenders of the status quo

Es
SA

ILLUSTRATION BY TERESA FASOLINO.

By RICHARD FLACKS

WHAT ARE THE CAUSES of student radical-
ism? There are good reasons for public
puzzlement over this question. After all,
we have never had, in our society, such
massive and thoroughgoing rejection of
our institutions and culture, never be-
forc such hostility between the genera
tions. Many- Americans can understand
protest by hungry or unemployed or tyr
annized people—especially when it oc
curs in other parts of the world but
why should advantaged, well-fed kids
rebel against our system? There are all
kinds of answers, The most popular the-
ories—it's all a conspiracy, or it's all
rooted in the neurotic afflictions of cod
dled misfits—are the most comforting
because they allow us to believe that the
problem lies with the students and with
controlling them rather than with the
system. But such theories rarely have the
benefit of test against reality, since they
are rarely proposed by men who have
walked on a college campus lately, let
alone studied student protest firsthand.

In 1965, several of us at the University
of Chicago undertook an intensive study
of a group of radical students—kids who
had been arrested in civil rights demon
strations, had worked full time organizing
rent strikes in a ghetto, had been leaders
of campus SDS chapters, or had in other
ways demonstrated a strong commitment
to civil rights, anti poverty and anti war
action. There were 50 activists in our
study, as well as 50 students who had
never been involved in any form of protest
activity. We interviewed cach student—
and, in most cases, his parents—at length,
to try to find out how the families of one
group differed from those of the other.
The two groups were drawn from the
same suburbs and neighborhoods in
the Chicago area. In effect, we designed
the study as if to say: Take two kids who
live next door to each other, who have
similar school and neighborhood experi
enc

s there anything about their fam-
ily backgrounds and upbringings that
would lead one toward active protest and
the other toward political complacency
and indifference?

Here, in summary, are the kinds of
things we learned:

+ Both sets of fathers were financially
successful and were likely to have bachelor
or advanced degrees. But there was this
difference: "The activists fathers tended
to be professionals—doctors, lawyers, ed-
ucators, scientists, social workers, ministers
— whereas the nonactivists’ fathers were
more likely to be corporation execut
or independent businessmen.

+ The activists’ mothers were much
more likely to be college graduates than
were the mothers of the nonactivists. The
majority of the activists’ mothers worked
at full-time careers. often at a professional

107

PLAYBOY

108

level. The majority of the nonactivists’
mothers were housewives; those who did
work did not tend to be involved in
careers.

+ The activists’ parents
whelmingly liberal and sympathetic to
the causes in which their kids were in-
volved, although they weren't politically
active themselves to any marked degree.
The typical nonactivist’s parents wei
moderate Republicans, and not political-
ly involved or interested

+ The activists’ parents were intellec
tual and culturally sophisticated. They
read extensively, had intellectual discus-
sions at the dinner table, went to con-
certs and museums and were generally

were over-

involved in the world of ideas They

ids to share these inter-
ts and tried to encourage them to be
tellectually active and artistically crea-
tive. The nonactivists’ parents filled thei
leisure time with entertainment, recrea-
sports and hobbies. They expected
т kids to do well in school but didn't
tend to have intellectual aspirations for
them.

+ The activists’ parents were попге
gious, although a small number had strong
religious commitments, usually to a libe
al church. At the same time, they €
pressed firm humanitarian convictions
and expected that their children. would
lead lives that would be socially useful
and giving, as well as personally satis
lying. The nonactivists’ parents attended
church more frequently and a small
number were highly committed to tradi-
tional denominations. They hoped that
their kids would be successful, healthy
and happily married but didn't expect
them to be idealistic.

+ The families of activists tended to be
egalitarian in structure, with both par-
ents sharing power and authority. These
parents said they were strongly commit.
ted to permitting the children autonomy
and a voice in family decisions. In non-
activists’ families, the father tended to be
dominant, the mother took most of the
responsibility for housekeeping and child
raising, the kids were more subordinated
and restricted, The parents of activists
expected high intellectual achievement
and strong social responsibility of their
kids, but were less likely to try to enforce
i moral standards with re-
spect to sex and appearance. Parents of
the nonactivists were much more conven-
tionally moralistic. Thus we found that
the term permissiveness was too vague
nd misleading to apply to either type of
family. Parents of the из encouraged
their children to be expressive and indi-
vidualistic, but they were not at all
permissive concerning standards of school
work, cultural taste and their kids’ re-
sponsibility for the welfare of others
Many of the activists’ parents impressed us
as extremely thoughtful about raising
their children to fulfill cheir poten i

expected thei

lor creativity and citizenship. The non
less concerned with
presion and individuality, more
concerned with having their children
adhere to conventional standards of per
morality and success. Strict, dis
m parents were very rare in both

son:
ciplin
groups

How can these findings help u
ıd why a fraction of the stu

in the сапу Sixties, broke the
-prevailing crust of campus apathy
unch a movement of active protest?
First, іс clear that mest of the early
New Leftists came from a rather special
kind of family background that set them
off from other students. The early activ-
ists weren't rebelling against their par
ents politics, nor did they convert to
radicalism. For the most part, they saw
themselves, and were seen by their par-

s as acting upon values and ideals
that had been taught at home. Thus, six
years ago, if one wanted to know who on
a campus would be an activist, the best
ngle predictor was parental liberalism.
(It would be a very poor predictor 10.
day, in view of the general move toward
radicalism and action among students.)
But the early New Leftists weren't cx

cy following in their parents’ foot
steps. Almost none of the parents we
interviewed were activists themselves. AI
most all had given priority to their pi
vate lives and to occupational success
Moreover, although they supported what
their kids were doing, it was dear that
the parents were liberals rather than
radicals.

‘As we reflected on our findings, they
seemed to suggest that the psychic
nergy for the emerging New Left had
deeper roots in the family situation, Be
ing born to affluence and secure soc
status can have surprising effects. We
lly expect that material comfort
leads to smug conservatism. But middle
clas American culture has traditionally
placed occupational success at the center
of life's goals, at least for men. Today,
however, it's plausible that many upper
middle clas youths—those with fathers
who arc already successful and who have
tasted the fruits of affluence for themselves
have lost interest in the acquisition of
money and conventional social status as
compelling personal aims. Thi
be particularly true for the large number
of students in our survey whose fathers
frequently emphasized to them that
there are other things in life besides
making it in the status race—these
other things being ell. fulfillment. aes
thetic and intellectual enrichment, and
being of service to others. One of the
roots of student unrest, then, has to do
with the declining vitality of conven-
tional success as a motivating force for
certain high-status young me

Another thing we leamed that
egalitarian, democratic family styles tend

usu

to produce young people who are disposed
to resist rigid vehy or arbitrary aw
thority when they encounter it outside the
family. In a sense, many of the activi
studied were raised by design to be
skeptical of authority, to expect it to be
responsive to people under it 1
have a strong sense of their own inte

The sharing of authority and responsi
bility between the parents in the family.

on the ch
group included many boys who did nor
understand masculinity to mean dom
nance, toughness and power seeking, and
who were rather freely capable of ex-
pressing, rather than repressing, tender,
aesthetic and passive emotions and

pulses. Many of the girls did not under
stand femininity to require pasit

dependence and intellectual subordi

tion; instead, many were rather capable of
being assertive, independent and intel
Tectually aggressive, The males were re

pelled by the military and by violence:
they were not only philosophically paci-
бы but pacifist to the very depths of
their psyches. The girls were repelled by
housewifery and the suppression of their
potentialities in the service of males: not
а few of them got a taste of women's
liberation with their mothers’ milk.

So the student left of the Sixties was
initiated by young people of an essential-
ly new kind of character structure
reared w huk fur happiness, not in
property or status but in intellectual
searching and social service; reared to be
opposed to power secking and to sub-
mission to power; reared to experience
anxiety and guilt about violence and
privilege, but to be more selfconfident
about expressing themselves and taking
risks. They were inevitably disillusioned
by school experiences that were authori
tarian or intellectually stultifying and
were necessarily turned off by the youth
culture of the Fifties, which was bland,
темам and charcoalgray. And even
though they had all the skills, capac
and social connections for acad
achievement and worldly success, they
were inescapably and profoundly es
wanged from the bureaucratically ori
ented careers and suburban life styles
that lay before them if they followed
their parents’ footsteps.

In 1960, this new type of youth was a
small minority of the student popula
tion. But their arrival on the scene was
the result of a
process, because they were the latest gen
eration of a rapidly growing scctor of the
American work force—the brainworkers
For the past half century, our society has
been requiring and producing a steadily
growing number of people whose careers
require very high levels of education,
and who are usually not engaged directly

(continued on page 177)

historical

important

“You must be Sagittarius with Leo ascending!”

SNOW
BUNNY

lake geneva's cottontail-
playmate cynthia hall
takes a frosty
fun-and-games foray
into the ivy league

READERS OF our August pictori

nies of 1970 could have predicted that
the step from cottontail to Playmate
ds for Cynthia Hall, a rep-
resentative of the Bunny brigade from
the Playboy Club-Hotel at Lake Ge
neva, Wisconsin. Cynthia's own v
I'm just lucky, I guess. Things sc

have a way of working out for me.”
Cynthia's determination
natural
making events "work out" for her.
Example: After completing a course
in dental assistantship, which included
aiming stint

was in the

as well as her
asets—helps considerably in

a three-month on-the-job-

with a dent the C
Western Springs, Cynthia found a scar
city of openings for permanent positions
in the field. “So J just decided to pack
up for my favorite vacation spot, south
ern Wisconsin, and see if I couldn't find
some kind of job there,” she reports. At
the suggestion of a friend, she applied
for employment as a Bunny at
llseasons resort at Lake C
was hired on the spot. Cynthia is cnthu
siastic about her work. “I think it's been
good for me, too,” she says. “1 used to be
shy, but no more. Meeting so many new
people has cured me of that.

icago suburb of

boy's
neva—and

nd Lake

1o spend о weekend at Dartmouth. Joined by another cotiontail, April Franz, Cynthia flies
to Boston (below left), then Bunny-hops to a warm welcome at the Lebanon, N.H., airport

eneva is the perfect setting for an out-
door girl like me. I've always been crazy
about riding and the stables here at the
resort are just fine. I'm also getting a
chance to learn a lot more about sailing.
Sometimes, though, the pace becomes
too hectic, "Every so often," she admi
“I really wish 1 could just get away and
spend some time in a quieter atmos
phere. Even though it’s great to be able
to sce top singers or comedians per
forming every night here, you can be
gin to feel overexposed to the nonstop
entertainment scene, You enjoy it until
you realize that you're reaching the point
where you're just pretending to have a
good time.” So when her summer sailing
crewmate Jack Galley called to invite her
to spend a winter weekend at the com-

paratively remote—and virtually snow.

bound—campus of Dartmouth College
in Hanover, New Hampshire, Cynthia ac-
cepted enthusiastically. But she confesses
having harbored a few misgivings abo

the trip. “I'd visited college campuses
in the Midwest before,” she says, “but
never an Ivy League school. I was afraid
the students would be either very aloof—
you know, snobbish socialite types—or a

bunch of bearded radicals. Well, I was

Cynthia and April check aver the weekend's
schedule of events posted on the bulletin
board ot Dortmouth's Bones Gote froternity.

ын

At the Hanover Inn, where they're staying, Cynthia and April discover a gift shop that stocks old-fashioned penny condy—and are
unable to resist clowning around with wax mustaches (above). At left below, the girls help their escorts build a snow sculp-
ture of the Playboy Rabbit, constructed in the visitors’ honor. Below right, Cynthia and date Jack Galley root for Dartmouth ct a
basketball game between the Indians and on Ivy League archrival. (Despite their enthusiastic backing, the Dartmouth team lost)

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVIO CHAN

PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE OF THE MONTH

&
=

wrong on both counts. Most of the guys
I met, particularly those studying law or
pre-med, seemed to be quite concerned
about their cducational progress; yet
they put their books aside on the week-
end to relax. They were very friendly
and certainly not revolutionaries.” Al-
though the Dartmouth campus and
its students made a favorable impres-
sion, Cynthia was even more struck by

the New England countryside. “The
woods, the mountains and the lakes,
and the slower pace of life there, seem
almost Waldenesque," she recalls. “I
really think that someday I might con-
sider moving to New Hampshire, or
maybe Vermont. Certainly one could
find plenty of places there to enjoy a
little solitude.” But life in rural New

England would provide quite a con-
там to her present career at a luxuri-
ous resort and Cynthia's not sure she
really wants to give up the bright lights
of Bunnydom. Whether or not she
decides to follow in the footsteps of
Thoreau, we can't predict; but guests
at Playboy's Lake Geneva spa will be
rooting for her to remain in Wisconsin.

One of Jack's Dartmouth fraternity brothers persuades Cynthia to try out o few new dance steps with him at an informal afternoon.
party in Banes Gate house (abave). As the weekend draws to a close, Cynthia and Jack manage to slip away for a late-night dinner à
deux at the Hanover Inn (below left) before her departure with April far Boston to catch а homeward-bound flight. Back at Lake
Geneva, below right, Cynthia writes to Jack, telling him how much she enjoyed the weekend—and hoping far a return invitation.

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

The young businessman was enjoying a private
afternoon interlude with his secretary when his
wife burst into the office and found them in a
rather compromising position. "How dare you
make love to that woman?" she shricked.

"I had to, sweetheart,” he calmly apologized.
“She was getting jealous of my receptionist.”

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines maidenhead
as a pot smoking virgin.

And, of course, you've heard about the fresh-
man coed who decided not to sign up for a
course in sex education when she heard the final
exam would be oral.

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines unliberated
female as an Uncle Mom:

An inebriated chap was brought before the

local judge. "You are charged with habitual

drunkenness," the magistrate said solemnly.

"Have you anything to offer in your defense?”
Came the reply, “Habitual thirst.”

We know a handsome bachelor Senator who
hired a ravishing blonde as his assistant and
then made her the object of a long Congres
sional probe.

An overweight American in Japan passed a
shop that advertised: Lose 1) POUNDS IN 15
MINUTES. 1 YEN. Intrigued, he entered, paid
his yen and was ushered into the presence of a
beautiful young girl, completely naked save for
a small sign hanging from her waist, reading:
JF YOU CATCH ME, YoU CET THIS. After 15
fruitless minutes of pursuing the adroit and
speedy damsel, the puffing, sweating American
left the place, sexually frustrated but, indeed,
ten pounds lighter.

The next day, he passed another shop, in
the window of which was a card reading: i oer
20 POUNDS IN 15 MINUTES. 2 YEN. He entered,
paid his two yen and was immediately con-
fronted by an enormous, ugly sumo wrestler,
who advanced upon him menacingly. The
brutish wrestler was naked save for a sign
dangling in front of his loins. It read: IF 1
CATCH YOU. YOU GET THIS.

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines the pill as
something girls use to take the worry out of
being close,

When his new patient was settled comfortably
on the couch, the psychiatrist began his thera-
ру sesion. “I'm not aware of your problem,"
the doctor said, "so perhaps you should start
at the beginning.”

АЦ right,” the man agreed. “In the begin-
ning, I created the heavens and the earth.”

A conservative gentleman agreed to present
the awards at the annual high school athletic
banquet. When he arrived, he was outraged at
the general appearance of the tecnagers in the
crowd. “You can't tell what they are anymore,”
he complained to a bystander. "Look at that
one over there, with hair down to his shoulders.
From the back, I thought he was a girl. And
that one with the close-cropped hair, smoking
a Cigarette, is it a boy or a girl?”

“It's a girl" snapped the bystander, "and
she happens to be my daughter.”

“I'm sorry, sin" stuttered the visibly em-
"I never dreamed you were her

barrassed man.
father.”

came the heated response. "I'm

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines sexual revo-
lution as a pleasant uprising.

Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on
your collar?” the suspicious wife sneered.

“No, 1 can't" the husband replied. "I dis-
tinctly remember taking my shirt off.

The Las Vegas blackjack dealer saved his mon-
ey carefully, q is job and bought a funeral
parlor. But after operating the business for
veral months, he decided to sell out and go
back to dealing.
don’t understand why you're selling out,”
one prospective buyer. "You've got ten
1

The other nine are shills.'"

We also know a practical young miss who
bought a negligee with fur around the hemline
to keep her neck warm,

A lovely young bride telephoned her mother
on the morning after the wedding night and
complained bitterly about her husband's be-
havior. "We were making love and someone
knocked on the door," explained the unhappy
bride, "and he had the nerve to get up and
answer itl”

"You mean he just left you lying there?" the
elder woman gasped

"I wish he had," sobbed the girl "but he
took me with him!”

Heard a good one lately? Send it on a post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY,
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago,
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned,

mexico,

neighborly dishes to turn
a feast into a fiesta

food and drink
By THOMAS MARIO

HOWEVER COLD OUTSIDE, baby, it's
bound to be a hot night in when
the host makes liberal use of
chili peppers. As Brillat-Savarin
said of a meal sans vin, a Mexi-
can meal without their fiery
flavor is like a day without sun.
Even so, а chililes evening
would not-be entirely chilly.
since south-of-the-border cuisine
embraces a vast and varied fiesta
of dishes, with an abundance of
contrasting or complementing
favors and textures. Hosts in
the Southwest have always taken

Mexican food for granted. But
the farther north you go from
the Rio Grande, the more sur-
prised people are to discover
that this jubilant fare was
around for centuries before the
conquistadors were converted to
such New World pleasures as
tomatoes and corn, chocolate
and vanilla.

Next to its versatility, what
appeals most to the gringo is
the earthy casualness of a Mexi-
can menu. The Mexican party
table—like most Mexicans—is a
mestizo, a mature blend of
native Indian and European
influences, Its proudest and
most characteristic inhabitant,
of course, is the enchilada,
with its Continental filling of
chicken and cheese in a crepe of
corn, covered with green Mexi-
can tomatoes, Though invented
by sun dwellers, it and most of
its culinary compañeros are per-
fect for a cold weather buffet,
whether it be aprésski, après-
theater or aprés any other kind
of winter fun. Thcir warmth
is reflected in the cheerfully

PLAYBOY

122

pagan Mexican pottery platters and bowls
and the tablecloths that form an ideal
backdrop for the meal.

The host who invites his cliff-dwelling
friends to join him for a сїйбєй fiesta
would be prepared to pass on a few tips
in tiempo: The seasonings and spices i
the dishes are lively but not volca
for the asbestos-tongued, there should be
a separate bowl of relish made from
the hot jalapeno peppers. The host may
also assure the more timid among, his
guess that the ceviche, or raw-fish appe-
tizer, is indeed "cooked"—in a marinade
of fresh lime juice—and has both the
flavor and feel of conventionally cooked
seafood, plus lively accents of olive oil,
е vinegar, fresh tomatoes, oregano,
cumin and cilantro, a combination of
ings sure to arouse the most jaded
appetite.

Mexican food is best washed down
with ice-cold beer or sangria, Mexican
beers, several of which—notably, Bohe-
mit and Сапа Blanca—are available
north of the border, are rich brews, more
closely akin to the European malts than
10 théir very light American counterparts.
Sangria, made of young red wine and
fresh fruit juices (see Paella y Sangria,
vLaynoy, June 1969), is always intended
to be gulped and swallowed rather than
nosed and studied, and provides the per-
fect counterpoint to such dishes as crisp
tacos stuffed with beef, lettuce and Mont-
erey Jack cheese. Mexico's best-known gift
to the cocktail world, the margarita, is not
only a standard bar offering today but,
like the martini, is also beginning to ap-
pear in many forms. One of the best is the
derby m 1 jigger tequila, y
uz. each lime juice, and triple sec, 1 oz.
orange B ke and v4 cup aushed ice
a blender and poured over
in an old fashioned glass rimmed
with salt. Mexicans play the hand game
when drinking tequila; they place a dab
cof salt between the thumb and index
finger of the left hand, che right hand
is used 10 pour tequila and squeeze lime
juice imo the mouth; ihe uio of move-
ments in quick succession—licking salt,
drinking tequila and squeezing lime juice
into finite possibilities
for party variations and fun, Among after-
dinner drinks, the first that comes to the
mind and the lips is Kahl
coffee liqueur. It makes a superb dessert
cocktail—the coffee alexander—which is
concoded by shaking, with ice, 34
, 34 ог. brandy and Y4 oz. heavy
асат. Among nonalcoholic drinks, there’
the famed Mexican hot chocolate, a drink
so wantonly rih and smooth that it
should only bc offered several hours after
mealtime, very late at night or in the cold
hours of the dawn, [n Mexico, it’s
whipped to a froth with a long wooden

the

mouth—has ii

ple

device, the molinillo. The molinillo can
be bought at stores selling Spanish-Ameri-
can products, but the blender does а much
better whipping job, especially in the fol-
lowing formula from our adobe haciend

Pour 8 ozs. hot milk, | oz. melted bitter
chocolate or an envelope of premelted
bitter chocolate, 14 teaspoon ground cin-
namon, 1% teaspoon vanilla powder, 1
tablespoon orzata or orgeat (almond
syrup) and 9 teaspoons sugar into a
blender; blend for 10 seconds at high
specd and pour into a preheated mug.

Mexicans will hold a fiesta at the drop
of a sombrero. And you shouldn't need
ny excuses other than those of good
fellowship and a gourmer's interest in
fine food and drink to stage your own
yanqui fiesta. The following recipes will
draw olés гот your guests.

GUACAMOLE WITH TOSTADAS
(Serves eight)

2 large cloves garlic
2 medium-size ripe avocados
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
14 cup butter

2 to 4 teaspoons very finely minced

chili peppers in vinegar, drained
2 teaspoons juice from chili peppers, in
jar or can

2 teaspoons grated onion

2 tablespoons heavy cream

Salt, freshly ground pepper

8 tortillas

Fat or oil for frying

Cut the garlic in half. Rub a mixing
bow! thoroughly with the cut sides of the
garlic. Discard garlic. Remove skin and
seed of each avocado and mash avocado
well with fork. Avocado may also be
puréed by forcing it through a fine wire
strainer; avocado aficionados prefer the
slightly coarser texture of the fork-
mashed pulp. Stir lime juice into avoca-
dos. Melt butter in small pan and heat
until butter turns nutty brown in color.
Add to avocados. Cut chili peppers in half,
remove seeds and mince until chili pep-
pers are almost a purée. Add to avocado
mixture along with juice from can or jar.
Add onion and cream. Sprinkle with salt
and pepper. (Peppercorns are a complete-
ly different spice from chili peppers and
their flavor shouldn't be neglected in
Mexican dishes.) Mix well. T
serving bowl, cover and chill until serving
time, Cut each tortilla crosswise to make 8
sections. In an electric skillet with
fat, preheated at 370°, fry tortilla sections
until light brown. They are now tostadas
and are used at the buffet table to scoop
up the guacamole.

in.

CEVICHE
(Serves eight)

1% Ibs. (net weight) flounder or sole
fillets, freshly cut from whole fish

34 cup fresh lime juice or fresh lemon
juice
Salt, celery salt, pepper
3 mediunvsize scallions
3 medium-size tomatoes, peeled, seeded
and cut into Y4-in. dice
2oz. jar pimiento strips, drained
у cup olive ой
3 tablespoons wine vinegar
2 tablespoons very finely minced
cilantro
34 teaspoon oregano
1⁄4 teaspoon ground cumi
2 teaspoons very finely minced fresh or
canned chili peppers
Cut fish into yin. dice. Place in a
bowl with lime juice. Chill overnight.
Drain fish. Wash under cold running
water. Drain well and pat fish dry with
paper toweling, Sprinkle generously with
salt, celery salt and pepper. Cut scallions,
white and solid part of green lengthwise
in half. Cut crosswise into I in. slices.
In mixing bowl, combine fish, scallions,
tomatoes, pimiento strips, oil, vinegar,
dlantro, oregano, cumin and chili pep-
pers. Toss well. Marinate 4 to 6 hours.

MEXICAN BUFFET ADORNMENIS

Hot dishes on a Mexican buffet table
are always blessed with side dishes or
garnishes that are strewn over or mixed
with the hot food on the plate in any
freewheeling style guests prefer. Besides
the hot jalapeito relish below, a bowl of
rice, a bowl of iceberg lettuce shredded
as fine as cole slaw mixed with
ed scallions or onions are intimate
stand-bys. Monterey Jack cheese or long-
horn cheese cut into thin julienne st
or diced is especially good on stuffed
tacos. A stack of whole tortillas fried in
hot fat till crisp are frequently offered.
Even better with Mexican-sauce dishes
in. tortilla strips cut into I-
in. lengths, fried about a handful at a
time in I im. hot fat umil light-brown
and generously salted.

and

are

JALAPENO RELISH
(About Ly; cups)

14 cup minced onions

1 teaspoon very finely minced garlic

2 tablespoons peanut oil

1 cup fresh tomatoes, pected, seeded and

n. dice

14 cup finely minced canned jalape
chili peppers

14 cup vinegar

Salt

Sauté onion

1
onions are tender, not brown. Add toma-
toes, chili peppers and vinegar. Simmer

and garlic in oil u

In-
hat
nd

slowly 10 minutes. Season with salt.
gredients reduce. during cooking so
total yield is about 114 cups. Cover
chill overnight.

(continued on page 168)

fiction By James Huhn being stuck inside a mailbox offers a golden
opportunity to do some light reading—but it really can't beat an orgy

scmooL one day becime irrelevant to
Aaron and he quit, feeling suddenly im-
mensely free, a great burden lifted.

A job. he must have a job.

He decided to work for the Post Office
His beat was from 45th to 47th and from
Woodlawn to Cottage Grove. Most of
the time, he whistled his days away,
oblivious of occasional black snarls; but
this time, he had some trouble. He had
just opened the big red-and-blue mailbox
оп the corner of 47th and Ingleside when
six young men sauntered up, smiling and

saying:
it's Uncle Saml”
ım, what you say, my man?”
you five in that mailbox?”
he lives there. Going

man,
Uncle?”
k smile
“Hey, let's put Unde Sam in the mail
box.”
This banter continued for a while and

then they stuffed Aaron into the mailbox,
his knees folded up to his chest, back
ліпы the back of the box, arms around
his drawn-up legs, hat on. They shut the
door, locked it with his key and, finally,
walked away, laughing and slapping skin.

Well, he thought, what am 1 going to
do now? This is pretty fucking embar
rassing; how am I going to feel when
they get me out of here?

After about a minute, he started yell-
ing; yelled until he was hearse and then
rested

I'm going to die in here, he thought
Gotta hold out until the next pickup.

He thought of yelling again but that
hadn't seemed to help, so he started
counting to pass the time—500, 600, he
couldn't keep it up, because he thought
it was driving him insane, He did iso-
metric exercises for a while—arm ten-
sions, leg flexions—beat his head against
the side of the box, then just sat still. He

THE ВОН

rly an hour composing a ballad
uation, while intermittently
fingernails on what felt
like a loose flap of metal near the back
of the box; when it was finished, he
sang his song ten times, wondering what
passing people thought about a singing
mailbox. Not much, he decided. It even-
tually occurred 10 him that his position
presented an ideal opportunity for propa-
gandizing, indocirinating, so he began а
rather lengthy diatribe against Nixon,
capitalism, alienation, anti-Semitism

Maybe it will start a fad, he thought
— mail a letter and get а message

He began to get very hot, worked off
his shoes, socks, unbuttoned his shirt

If only someone would mail a letter.
I'm going to die, that's all. Heatstroke,
maybe.

He wedged a shoe into the letter drop
opening, getting a little light and some
ventilation. (continued on page 210)

PLAYBOY

124

RADICALISM/BETTELHEIM

success than her man had been. In fact,
wealth has slowly been accumulating in
the hands of women so that today, as a
dass, they possess more riches than ever
before (though, unquestionably, economic
power is still a male province). But the
fiction of the indispensable father con-
tinucd to be generally believed. Again,
World War Two marked the water-
shed for this notion. The women who
stayed at home had proved their self-
sufficiency. The men who had gone forth
to conquer fascism came back with a
great longing for peace and comfort and
were bemused by the increasing com-
plexity of the American corporate eco
omy. Novels of the Forties and Fifties
such as The Fluchsters and The Man in
the Gray Flannel Suit, popular works
of sociology such as The Organization
Man and The Lonely Crowd tell the
story. The American man, having lived
through the Depression and the War,
having to live now through the Cold
War, settled with a sigh into the bar-
rackslike suburban developments that
mushroomed around the big cities. Since
prosperity and personal affluence with
its pension plans seemed to asure sur-
vival and security, his
ruled by necessity but by the wish for
ever greater comfort. Its purpose seemed
directed toward acquiring superfluous
adornments. rather than essentials. It's
easy to achieve sell respect and with it
the respect of others, which comes from
the inner security they feel one possesses
—if one's work provides his wife and chil
dren with the necessities of life. But
when men were not working for survival
and were not after real, intrinsic achieve-
ments (such as are inherent, for exam.
ple, in scientific discovery), or at least
after power, but merely after luxury,
only their busyness prevented them from
realizing how devoid of true meaning
their lives had become. Today, the chil-
dren of such fathers are in their late
teens and early 20s

In these affluent families, the father
often describes his work as a rat Tack.
Indeed, the successful businessman scur-
ries through a maze of corporate politics,
spurred on by a yearning for such re.
wards as profit sharing, pension plans,
stock options, bonuses, annuities. He is
often a minor functionary in а bureauc-
racy whose purpose, other than to grow
larger, tends to be ill-defined. His work
often seems pointless to him, as he is
shifted from one position to another
h little say about his destiny. And if
he listens to social critics inveighing
against environmental pollution, cultiva-
tion of artificial needs, dollar imperial-
ism, war profiteering and related evils,
he may begin to suspect the worth of his
activities and, with it, his own value

The effect of these changes in pa-
rental attitudes on the children has been

fe was no longer

(continued from page 106)

drastic. The small child recognizes only
what he sees. What he is told has much
less of an impact on him. He sees his
mother working around the house, for
him. He is told only that his father also
works for his well-being; he does not
see it In the suburban family, when
the father commutes to work, he has to
leave early and he comes home when the
child is about to be put to bed. More
often than not, he sees his father watch

is a well-
deserved nap but to the boy seems like
sheer idleness, Even if the middle-class
father takes his son to his place of work
some 20 or 30 miles away, it’s such a
different world from the child's life at
home that he cannot bring the two to
gether. And what he sees there of the
ther's work he cannot comprehend
How can talking on the telephone—
which from his experience at home he
knows is done mainly to order goodies
or for fun—or into a machine secure the
family's well-being? Thus, the boy's expe-
ience can hardly dispel the notion that
his father is not up to much. The fa-
thers work remains unseen and seems
unreal, while the mother's activities are
very visible, hence real. Since he does
not see him do important things, the
child comes to doubt the legitimacy of
the father's authority and may grow up
to doubt the legitimacy of all authority.

For ages, the father, as a farmer, as a
erafisman working in his shop, had been
very visible to his sons and, because of
his physical prowess and know-how in
doing real things in the real world, was an
object of envious adulation. Now, the
mother, who traditionally is the one who
nurtures the child, becomes ever more
the carrier of authority. If for no other
reason than that she is with the child
during the father’s waking hours, the
mother becomes the disciplinarian, the
value giver, who tells the child all day
long what goes and what does not. In
short, mother knows bes, and father
next t0 nothing. As one boy put it—and
there is some truth in the words of the
most naive child—"What is my father?
Just a father."

Even though the father doesn't think
much of his work, he expects the son to
follow in his dreary footsteps. The child
is sent to the best grammar school. not to
satisfy his intellectual curiosity, not to
develop bis mind, not to understand
himself beter but to make good marks
and to pass examinations so that he can
get into the best high school. There he is
pushed to compete for the highest
grades, so that he can go to a famous
college, often not because he get a
better education there but because going
һ а big name adds to the
prestige of the parents. And college is
merely a means to an end—admission 10

graduate school. Graduate work in tu
furnishes the “union card," enabling him
to get а good job with a big corporation,
where he can work until he finally re
єз on a good pension and then м:
to die. Given this distorted, purgatori
picture of the world of education and
work, is it any wonder that many young
people scornfully reject it?

‘The American social and economic
system, despite its obvious shortcomings,
is much more tha
that leads nowhere. American society is
creative and progressive and offers un.
precedented opportunities for individual
fulfillment and achievement. But that's
not the way it has been presented to
many young Americans born in the For
ties and Fifties. The people who taught
these youngsters to despise American so-
ciety were their own parents

Psychoanalysis asserts that each child,
growing up in a family, must choose a
Parent to emulate, But a son cannot
emulate his father’s great abilities as a
worker if that father seems a little man
at home, meekly taking out the garbage
or mowing the lawn according to a
schedule devised by his wife. The process
of hecoming a person by emulation is
enormously important, because the child
doesn't copy just external mannerisms:
he tries—as far as his understanding will
let him—to think and feel like the cho-
sen parent. For boys ^s suburban
society, many fathers offer little with
which to identify. The problem is not
created by the father's absence due to
commuting and the long executive work.
day—sailors and men at war have been
good objects for identification though
absent from the home for months and
years. The problem arises because the
image of the father, in the eyes of the
mother and others, has been downgraded.

In order not to have to identify with a
superfluous father, many boys in the
more affluent reaches of our society try to
solve the problem by identifying with
their mothers. But, while this solves one
problem, it creates another, not for the
boys self-respect as human beings but
lor their self-respect as males. This emu-
lation of the mother is not, by the
manifested only in long hair or unisex
dothing, which are merely matters of
Boys tend to adopt the consumer
tality, like their mothers, rather than
fathers! producer mentality, А mous
er's role is also more attractive—at least
ngland and America—because she is
often the more cultured member of the
household, She is apt to be more liberal-
ly educated, more aware of the arts than
her practical husband. This attitude
typified by the couple portrayed in Sin
clair Lewis’ Main Street, On the Con
nent, culture is a male prerogative, and
this at least has slowed down the attri-
tion of the father's dominance in the
European household.

(continued on page 206)

FIRST CAME THE MACKINTOSH, a li
weight, waterproof coverall that resem-
bled a walking pup tent; then the trench
coat with its crisp military bearing and
buckles galore; and then the classic pop-
lin knee-length Alligator. ‘Today, how-
ever, gentlemen venturing out for a walk
in the wet can choose from an inunda-
tion of fabrics and styles borrowed from
other areas of fashion and translated into
rainwearables that are as handsome as
they are functional. A case in point is the
coat at right: а Zepel-hnished Dacron and
cotton canvas double-breasted with out-
sized collar and lapels, roomy Вар patch
pockets, half belt and deep center vent,
by Gleneagles, $60. Those of you who
to keep those raindrops from falling
on your head can combine it—as we've
done—with a cotton velveteen wide-
brimmed hat, by Tenderfoot, $14. If
you're 5’ 10” or over, mid-calf is the cor-
rect raincoat length; shorter chaps should
ick to styles that end just below the knee.

SMART
ENOUGH
WG oul
IN THE RAIN

attire By ROBERT L. GREEN
fiesh-looking foul-weather
wear that doesnt give a damp

Left: Denim-type рої
and cotton single-breasted
belted raincoat with holster
pockets, shirt-style collar and
deep center vent, $65, shown
with a matching pair of
slacks that feature a wide
waistband with belt loops and
wide flared legs. $15

cr of Paris.

denim si
raincoat with two flap and
two bellows pockets. yoke
back, half belt and

ht: Cotton canvas
feasted beled model
with — button-through
patch pockets and dee
t 5150.
slacks feature
m waistband and
straight-cut legs, $35, both
from Philippe Venet; wool
roll-brimmed hat, by Pierre
ardin for Bonwit Teller, $35.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROGER HANE

VARGAS GIRL

“So that’s what right on means.”

MINI REVOLUTION

recreation boom. People came home from
their first European trips рі ig their
second. If the price of two weeks in Lon-
don and Paris was the difference between
a Chrysler and a Volkswagen, then the
local VW dealer was about to sce a new
face in his showroom. People didn't need
another trip to Europe, but they wanted
опе more than they wanted another

ighty juggernaut from Detroit. Rather
ldenly. the American consumer found
he had a lot of new wants: a boat, a
, à weekend or summer house
smaller car, so that he could swing
them. Once this phenomenon was
cnough to see with the naked сус, De-
troit's response was predictable. David E.
Davis, Jr., of Campbell-Ewald, the Chev-
rolet advertising agency, has said that
the Vega comes closer to meeting con-
sumer want than any car General Motors
has built since World War Two, and
perhaps even World War One. He may
have something: Chevrolet sold 43 per-
cent of its available stocks in less than
three days after the Vega went on sale,
smashing all industry records.

In choosing the cars for the test,
PLAYBOY made no attempt at a Consum-
ers Union deadlevel standard, beyond
shooting roughly for a $2000 base price.
Because of model availability at the time
(in the case of one make. there were
only three cars in the country), it was
impossible to specity options. We might
not have done so in any event, because
what we wanted above all was a group of
cars that might have been picked at
random on the street. One car, the
ab 99E, а 53300 item, was included

PLAYBOY

because we were curious to see what
51000-odd added to the

2000 standard
would bring, and also because we sus-
pected that some $2000 cars would arrive
in Midland loaded with $1000 or more
worth of extras, and we wanted to offset
that by including a car that began at
$3000. We took the Saab instead of the
equally attractive. Swedish Volvo only
because we wanted another front-wheel
drive. Two cars did show up with $3000
stickers: the Gremlin, at $3180.70 on a
$1999 base, and the Vega at $2945 /$2197.
Mildly starling is the fact that of the
14 cars, only one, the Gremlin, is totally
American. The Capri is built by Ford of
Germany, engined by Ford of Great Brit-
ain. The Dodge Colt is made 100 percent
hy Mitsubishi of Japan, the Plymouth
Cricket by Chrysler United Kingdom,
Lid., sold in the U.K. as the Avenger
‘The Pinto's basic engine (1600 c.c) is
British and the optional one (2000 cc) is
German, as is the optional automatic
transmission. The Gremlin comes out of
American Motors’ parts bins and the Vega
as newly designed from the ground up,
though using the Opel transmissions.

139 Otherwise, Detroit appears to have elected

(continued from page 101)

to use imports in phase one of its fight
against imports.

All 14 сау were thoroughly run in,
whether they came to Midland truck.
borne or under their own power. In an
undertaking of this kind, it's safe 10
assume that the vehicles have been well
prepared, but the degree of tune de-
pends upon chance and the enterprise of
the supplier. We suspected one car to be
a cheater—deciding finally that it was not,
only that it had been supertuned by the
knowing hands of expert:

The tests required a week and were
meticulously done to the highest stand-
ards of scientific discipline. Some of
the equipment used—the remote pickup
registering speed, acceleration and decel-
eration, for example—was designed by
Don Gates, made in the Chaparral ma.
chine shop and is unique. Watching the
recorder spew out feet of paper as the
pens inked in a cars behavior was an
almost eerie experience. "He's doing 62
third gear, you see,” Gates would say,
"and that little jiggle means he's about
100 yards past Ше bend . . theres a
rough place on the circuit there.
he'll brake about here in two seconds."

Space limitations and complexity have
prevented the chart on page 104 from
fully reflecting the extent of the testing.
"Ihe drag and horsepower figures are an
example. Data fcd into the computer for
this test included the weight of the car
and the driver, the rate of deceleration
of the vehicle coasting with power off,
and the density of the air. The figures
were taken at 30 and 60 miles per hour
and computer extrapolated to 100, 150
and 200. We have used only the 60 and
200 mph figures. Since the Fiat Coupe
showed the lowest drag figure, 105.7
pounds at 60 mph, and would require
only 314.6 horsepower to propel it at 200
mph, it was obvious that it would also
show the lowest fuel consumption, and
did—44.5 miles to the gallon at 60
mph. Incidentally, this reading was so
low that we repeated the whole test, with
identical results.

To demonstrate understeer and over-
steer, the cars were run clockwise and
counterclockwise on a precise line
around the 150-foot skid pad at speeds
applying increasing side force to them.
Understeer and oversteer аге functions
wheel adhesion: An un-
derstcering car tends 10 go through a
comer at a less acute angle than the
position of the front wheels would seem
10 indicate: an overstecring car takes а
greater angle. Put another way, an un-
dersteering car driven past the limit of
adhesion will plow off the road fro:
end first: an oversteerer will spin off re
end first. Understcer is considered. safer
for passenger vehicles and the graphs

of front-and-re:

made on each of the test cars showed the
curves typical of understeer, with one
exception: Ihe Renault RI0 showed
some initial understeer, changing quickly
to oversteer. The Renault was the only
car we damaged: One of the Chaparral
technicians had taken it to .58 g of side
force, when it switched [rom under- 10
oversteer, dug in the outside rear wheel
to the rim and gently ишпей on its side
Interestingly, detailed examination of
the data subsequently showed that it һай
gone past the point of no return before
the wheel rim reached the concrete, The
driver unfastened his safety belt and
dimbed unhurt out the top door. Dam
age to the car was slight.

In appearance and performance, the
14 cars moved all of us variously, but in
the end we—Messrs. Gates, Hall, Arget
singer, Sweet, Gafford and I—came to
near unanimity. Its important to
that we had in mind the urban car, not
the uansconünental grand touring ma-
chine, and that we were not attempting
oracular infallibility. It was not our in
tent to say buy this, do not buy that, but
rather t0 suggest, to point, to establish
facts as a basis for individual judgment.

AUSTIN AMERICA. This boxy little car de
rives in direct line from one of the
bench-mark automobiles of our time, the
Morris Mini, by the notably original
minded British designer Alexander Is
sigonis. There were three essentials in
Issigonis’ concept: For stability and full
utilization of space, a wheel at each
corner and minimum overhang; fron
wheel drive by a front-mounted engine
set transversely; suspension by hydraulic
fluid interacting between front and rear:
When a front wheel hits a bump, its rise
instantly puts counteracting pressure on
the corresponding rear wheel, thus lift
ing the rear of the body to the level
already reached by the front. This con
cept, in various modulations, has been
very successful and usually produces а
superior ride, In fact, the Austin i
са has been compared with the €
which uses a hydraulic system of
greater complexity. Front-wheel drive, by
eliminating transmission hu
drive-shaft tunnel, gives a space bonus:
the Austin is remarkably roomy for a
147-inch automobile. Steering is rack and
p brakes are disk and drum, with a
limiting valve to prevent rear-wheel lock-
up, and the transmission can be either
four-speed manual or seven-position au-
tomatic.

Ine makers daim a top speed of 85
mph for the Austin, but the fastest we
could make it go was 77, and it had the
longest 0-60 mph acceleration time, 22.1
seconds, of the 14 cars. Braking was good
and it showed a hair better gas mileage

(continued on page 200)

е
е
'udents

By ELLERY QUEEN

grand larceny in the groves
of academe—with some low-grade
doggerel providing the only clue

Tux Membersiur of The Puzzle Club numbered six (one of
whom, Arkavy, the Nobel biochemist, was almost never
free to attend а meeting), making it—as far as Ellery knew
—the world's most exclusive society.

lis only agenda was to solve mysteries made up by the
members and then, regardless of outcome, to slaver, sample
and gorge at the feast prepared by the master chef of their
host and the founder of the dub, Syre -
lionaire. Members took ying problem solver, and

this evening the rotation had come round
to Ellery again.

Having been duly installed in the
"problem chair" in Syres wide-open-
spacesstyle penthouse salon, Ellery tilted
the bottle at his elbow and then settled
back with his glass to face the music
and its composers.

Little Emmy Wandermere, the Pulitzer
Prize poet, had been designated to con-
duct the overture. “The scene is the
office of the president of a university,”
she began, “the office being situated on
the ground floor of the administration
building. President Xavier-

"X" Ellery said instantly. "Significant?"

“You're a quick starter,” the poet said.
"In this discipline, Mr. Queen, signifi-
cance lies in the ear of the listener. I
should like to go on. President Xavier
has one child, a grown on
“Who is, of course, a student at the

PLAYBOY

“Who happens to be nothing of the
sort. The son is a high school dropout
who is immersed in yoga and Zen,”

"His name?"

“Ah, his name. All right, Mr. Queen,
having consulted my instant muse, she
tells me that the son was christened
Xenophon, President Xavier having tak-
en his doctorate in Greck history. Now,
Xenophon Xavier has just become en-
gaged to be married.

“To a student?”

“You seem to have students on the
brain. Not to a student, no. She's a
topless exotic dancer Xenophon met
through his guru. May I suggest you
listen, Mr. Queen? The boys father—
and if you want to know President Xav-
ier's Christian name, too, by the way, it's
Saint Francis—has undertaken to pro-
vide the engagement ring. He's just come
from visiting his safe-deposit box, in fact.
"The first thing President Xavier does on
entering his office is to place the ring on
his desk. It's a very valuable ring. of
course, a family heirloom.”

“Is there any other kind?" Ellery asked
mercilessly. “Whereupon, enter suspects.”

Syres nodded. “A delegation of three
students who represent three dissident
groups at the university.”

“One,” said Darnell. the lawyer,
Jaw student named Adams.”

Two,” said Vreeland, the psychiatrist,
"a medical student named Barnes."
And three," said poet Wandermere,
"a literature major named Carve
‘Adams, Barnes and Carver,“ Ellery
said. "A, B and C. We're certainly rely-
ing on basics tonight. But proceed."
"Adams, the law student, demands
that the football team's star pass receiver,
who's been expelled from the school aft-
er a secret hearing." said lawyer Darnell.
“be reinstated on the ground that he was
the victim of a starchamber proceeding
and had been denicd due process.”
“The university expelled its star receiv-
132 cr?” Ellery shook his head. “This is

obviously a fantasy.”

“Derision, Queen, will get you no-
where,” Dr. Vreeland said severely. “As
for Barncs, like all med students, he's sex
mad, and he’s there to demand that the
curfew restrictions for coeds visiting the
boys’ dorms be lifted entirely.”

“And young Carver is there," Miss
Wandermere said, “to demand a separate
and autonomous blackculture depart-
ment staffed entirely by blacks."

“There's a lively discussion, President
Xavier promises to take the three de-
mands under advisement and the stu-
dents exit.” Syres held up his saddlclike
hand. "Not yet, Queen! Xavier then goes
to lunch, locking the only door of his of-
fice. He's away, oh, twenty minute”

“A fast eater," Ellery murmured.

“When he unlocks the door on his re-
turn, he notices two things. The first

“Is that the ring, which with fort
tous forgetfulness he'd left on his de:
Ellery said promptly, “is gone.”

“Yes,” Darnell said, “and the second is
a folded slip of paper lying on the floor
near the desk.”

“Which says?"

“Which says," and Dr. Vreeland showed
his formidable teeth like a playful
wolf, “in unidentifiable block Iewering—
are you paying attention, Queen?”

“Which says," Emmy Wandermere said,
“as follows: ‘On old Olympus’ towering
top / A Finn and German viewed a
hop.’ Terrible verse. I can thankfully say,
Mr. Queen, I'm not responsible for it.”

Ellery mumbled, “Would you mind
repeating that?”

"The challengers exchanged congratula-
tory smirks. Miss Wandermere cheerfully
repeated the doggerel.

“Nonsense verse.” Ellery was still

mumbling. "Or. . . ." He stopped and
shook head like a fighter shaking off a
stiff Let's hack away the underbrush
first. Was the door tampered with?"
"И make it simple for you," Syres
said in kind tones. "Entry was by the
window, which had been forced, No
Prints. No clues.”

“I take it that during their visit to
"s office, Adams, Bames and Carver
had die кїйє. im plates xà
Right there on the d k,” Dr. Vrec-
land They all saw

"Who else knew the ring was in the
office?”

“No one.”

“Not even his son, Xenophon?"

“Not even his son, Xenophon.

“Nor his prospective daughter-in-law?”
hat's right.”

Was the ring visible from the window?”
“It was not," said Miss Wandermere.
"Ic was lying behind a bust of.

Xanthippe, I know. Was th
transom above the door?"
lo transom at all."
fireplace?”

“No fireplace."
“And you wouldn't insult me by a

secret passage. Well, then, the thief has
to have been one of the three students.
Which is the conclusion | assume you
wanted me to reach.”

“True,” Darnell said. “So far.”

“And Xavier is positive the paper with
the verse wasn’t on the floor when he
left for lunch?”

Glances were exchanged once
“We hadn't thought of that р
the oilman confessed. “No, it
there when Xavier left the office.”

“So the thief must have dropped ii

“Accidentally, Queen," the lawyer said.
It was later learned that the thief took
a handkerchief out of his pocket to wrap
around his hand—he didn't want to leave
fingerprints—and as he did so, the paper
fell out of his pocket.”

“He made off with the ring,” the poet
said, “without noticing that he'd left the
verse behind.”

“So you don’t have to ask any further
questions,” the psychiatrist said. “Tough
one, Queen, isn't it? We were absolutely
determined to stump you. And by the
superegos of Freud, Jung and Adler,
friends, I believe we've done it!”

"Give a fellow a chance, will your” El-
lery growled. “ On old Olympus’ towering
top / A Finn and German viewed a hop.

“We've got him on the run, all right,
the oil king chorüed. "Usual one-hour
time 1 Queen. Mustn't keep old
Charlot's dinner waiting. What is it?“

Emmy Wandermere: "Oh, no!"

Dr. Vreeland: “Impossible!”

Darnell, incredulously: “You've got it?”

“Well, I'll tell you," Ellery said with
unruffling brow, a vision of peace. “Yes.”

“On old Olympus’ towering top &
Finn and German viewed a hop;
lery siid. “As venie, it’s gibberish. Thar
made me dig into my gibberish pile,
which is eighty feet higher than Mount
Everest. My curse is that I never forget
anything, no matter how useless.

“Having recognized the verse, I knew
the thief couldn't have been Adams, the
law student, nor the lit major—much as
you tried to make Carver your red
(or should 1 say black?) herring.

On OM Olympus’ Towering Top,”
eic, is a traditional mnemonic aid for
remembering the names of the twelve
cranial nerves. The O of On, for in-
stance, stands for olfactory—the olfac
tory nerve; the О of Old stands for the
optic nerve; and so on. The verse is used
in medical schools by students. The pa-
per, therefore, dropped from the pocket
of Barnes, the med student, making him
the thief of the ring."

“I could have sworn on my plaque of
Hippocrates that you'd fall flat on your
face when I suggested this one," Dr.
Vreeland said glumly.

“Queen erat demonstrandum," Emmy
Wandermere murmured. "And now, gen-
tlemen, shall we render unto Charlot?"

FROM RUSSIA, WICH LIMERTLKS

By J. F. O'CONNOR
a droshkyful of lusty five-liners on the state of soviet unions

The maidens I knew in Irkutsk Some ladies I met in Smolensk
Were swingers—no ifs and no butsk: Had passionate yearnings for gentsk;
For them, coexistence And since all their needs
Meant red-hot persistence Were best serviced by Swedes,
In nightlong Siberian rutsk. They hollered for mensk who were Svensk.

A comradely miss in Murmansk A Scandiphile girl in Zagorsk,
Was careful in making her plansk: Invited to do something coarsk,
With her passions unchained, Replied, “I have likings
It was clearly ordained, For boardings by vikings;
She'd hunt up a mansk who was Dansk. But you, sir, of coursk, are not Norsk.”

A swinger I chanced on in Minsk A bride from Dnepropetrovsk,
Stripped fast to her White Russian skinsk. Whose honeymoon proved rather roughsk,
As I fixed my square stare Having failed with a “Nyet!”
On this hip Russian bare, To fend off a new threat,

I felt out . but quite soon I was insk! Screamed, “Dimitri, enough is enoughsk!”

ШШШ.

open in mind, heart and custom, the dutch cosmopolis is a joyous citadel of personal freedom

Amsterdam’s most striking feature is its network of canals spanned by hundreds of bridges like thase obove. Sunny days bring throngs cf
young Amsterdamers to the sidewalk cafés on the Rembrondtsplein (below left). At night, one popular diversion is a sight-seeing cruise
along the Amstel River (below center); another is a visit ta the Wollefjes (below right), where saucy Hollandaise hackers display their
charms in every window. At the Continental Bodega (far right), on ingenious pulley arrangement serves wines to guests an two levels.

travel By REG POTTERTON Arriving at
Amsterdam's Centraal Station on the boat train from the
Hook of Holland one evening not long ago were three
young pilgrims, dressed for the road. ‘They carried back
packs and wore militarysurplus greatcoats over Levis
tucked into lumberjack boots, The two males had hair
that flowed past their shoulders; the girl with them wore
hers tucked under a stained fedora. They were probably
in their early 20s. All three looked as if they had been
wandering the planet since birth. They were Americans.

Anyone who had eavesdropped on their conversation
during the ferry crossing from England to Holland,
however, would have learned that, for the gil and
one of the boys, this was their first journey outside the
United States. The other boy had been away before—
by thumb through Spain, across southern Europe to
Turkey, into the Middle East, to Nepal and beyond.
His name, he said, introducing himself to the other two
on the ferr lick.

Slick had traveled so far that he had followed the
until it became the West again. Re-entering the U
San Francisco, he had stayed long enough to unload a
stash of Cambodian bush that had been mailed from
Tokyo in a military shipment by a spaced-out GI. Once
home, Slick had taken a look around, noted that “the
asylum was still in the grip of its duly elected lunatics”
and had taken olf once again for the East. For him, too,
this was the first time in Amsterdam.

From the depths of an inside pocket, Slick produced
a joint rolled in golden-yellow Wheat Straw and pro-
ceeded to light up quite openly on the platform of
the station, right in front of all the Instamatic tourists,
who had stoked up on duty-free booze on the boat from
Harwich and who now stumbled alongside the hissing
train, regaling one another with tales of Amsterdam's
fabled whores. Slick’s match fared: suck, deep breath,
hold, pass it on; suck, breath, hold, pass—the complete
ritual. Fifteen feet away stood a uniformed policeman,
hy one of the platform exits. Try that in Alabama and
some good ole boy will lock you up with killers and rapists
for 20 years—or forever in T

But Amsterdam, as Slick kept telling the others on the
ferry, is different. The new place—the instant Eldorado,
wide-open, wild beyond all known definitions of wild-
ness, tolerant of all human foibles and fancies. Hell, said
Slick, you don't need permission for anything in Amste
dam; you can get it together any way you see it, He told

story about a Swedish dope (continued on page 189)

ID E UIN
UE WOLAND

the ancient canals and windmills are still there, but the netherlands’ new

breed of wome
SINCE HOMER'S pay, and before, men have trekked off to the
farthest reaches of the globe and retuned with tales of the
gentle beauties they met on their travels—creatures of surpass-
ing grace and understanding, ministering angels who demanded

nothing of the male but the privilege of devoting their lives to
his care and comfort. These maidens, so the stories went, stayed
lovely forever, were unbelievable lovers, fantastic cooks, eter-
nally [a and thrifty to boot

this rosy mythology begun to dim, as massiv

have kicked off their inhibitions along with their wooden shoes

population shifts and jevage mobility have combined to bring
about an unprecedented mingling of the sexes from different
cultures. Like the age-old stereotypes of Parisian girls as chic,
Oriental girls as submissive and Latin girls as passionate, the
postcard image of Dutch girls as dog-shod tulip tenders is-

happily—vanishing down the long road into oblivion, hand in
hand with the concept of the Dutch people as a nation of stolid
burghers, Holland has been transformed. With the recent emer
gence of Amsterdam as the youth (continued on page 167)

Not least among the beauties of Holland are its girls. We discovered Ann Louise Helleman, ot left, minding the switchboord ot the Rotterdam
Hilton; like mony of her friends, Ann saves up her guilders for sun-ond-surf vocations in Spain. Sylvia Out, below, travels by boot—os

do everyone and everythin

from children bound for school to household bread deliveries—in the streetless village of Giethoorn.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALEXAS URBA

Top model Maryke Kleyn, left, is the daughter
of оп Amsterdam antique dealer; here, she's
photographed in a pensive mood on o visit
to one of Holland's best-preserved towns,
Zierikzee, founded in 849. Seventeen-year-
old Maria de Heer, sprawled in the hay ot
right—"I love its scratchy feeling on my
skin"—is a high school student in Amster-
dom, where Tula Goede, below, works as a
nurse. Refreshing herself from the stress of
the night shift at the hospitol, Tula pauses
to bask in the downing sun. Her favorite
haunt is this wooded glade, 15 miles from
the city and inhabited solely by an equine
admirer that wandered up ta make friends—
оп impulse we find ecsily understandable.

Saskia Holleman, e soughtafter actress, took
time out from rehearsals for the sylvon pose
ot left. Willy Veldhuizen, below, spins along
on the Netherlands’ principal means of
transport—the ubiquitous bicycle. A popular
model, Willy appears in TY commercials.
Joke Veldhorst, totally sunning herself on
а North Sea strand near Rotterdam, typifies
the exotic blends often found in Holland:

Her mother is Dutch, her father Surinamese.
At top, far right, in the Garbo hat, is
Helena Kuulkers, wha, like the great Greta,

confesses to innate shyness—which she's
learning fo overcome as a convention
greeter. Reol-estate agent Fernande Huy-
bregis' ovacation is studying such costumes
as those of the Urk fishermen, bottom right

Visiting the world-famous cheese market at Gouda, left, is Truitje Wytema—who hopes to trade
her present occupation of free-lance fashion designer for that of film actress, She's already had
a role in Erik Terpstra’s movie Daniél. A fulltime dramatic career is also the aim of Berdyke
Gommers, shawn relaxing in her Amsterdam apartment, above. Berdyke’s avocation is painting—
“using all the calors of the rainbow together." The rustic scene below is only a half-hour drive
from Amsterdam, where Morion van Renssen—classically sculpted herself—is a student of sculpture.

Anke Verbeek, on her way to poy o coll on
relatives in Delft, shares the Durch possion for
fresh flowers. More unusually, she's the star
of her own television program. Strow-hotted
secretary Cato Margaretho Polmon, above,
likes to draw, admils to a mixed bog of dis-
likes ranging from drug addicts to organized
religion. Pouline Erich, below, hos welcomed
hundreds of tourists os an Amsterdam guide.

Past and present coexist harmoniously in Holland; above, 17-year-old Nanna Beetstra adds a modern accent to the 17th Century traders’
palaces on Amsterdam's Keizersgracht canal. Scottish import Anne McConnell, below, luxuriates on a prized possession: an 1Bth Century bed

Wonderlust lures Maureen Renzen, left, who
hos ventured from her home in The Hogue to
visit Miami ond several countries in South
Americo. Fashion stylist Morjolyn Booy, above,
wears on original creation by her employer,
Rotterdam designer Henk Wichers. Escorts of
Morina Borend:woord, below, sometimes see
double; she has a twin sister, and the girls de-
light in confusing the boys they go out with.

A forest of ferns on her father's privote estate provides a secluded nest for Marion Swaob, left. A
professional dancer, she has appeared in ballet ond spent severol months os a member of a cosino-
show cast in Beirut, Lebanon. The bright lights of Amsterdem, her home town, oppeol to Willy
Leedekerken, above. She's o hoirdresser who, os can be seen, goes for lengthy locks herself—but
she detests them on men. A devotee of gypsy music is half- French, holf-Gormon Anneka Lo-Meitro,

below, who's saving her typists solory for an ombitious goal: purchose of on oirplone, to be fol-
lowed by flying ond sky-diving lessons. Belgian-born sun worshiper Marion de Vree, ot right,
brightens the countryside neor the Brobont village of Groot Zundert, the birthplace of Vincent von
Gogh—who, were he still oround to see it, might well have been inspired to paint this scene himself.

PLAYBOY

“I don't mean fill yore hand that way, you son of a bitch.”

Jorn
DIM su)

the

ole in the bed

THERE 15 AN ого Ss in China:
hall but your wife on the pillow

This is all very well—but Stundung was old and ugly and his
ability to give pillow lessons had much diminished iu spite of
his acquisition of a beautiful young wife. His jealousy. how-
ever, grew and grew as his capabilitics shrank. Though before
marriage she had held her legs together as tightly as a closed
clamshell, he accused her of having been a wanton, Now, he
siid, she was trying to make him wear the green cap of the
cuckold, and he devised endless stratagems aimed at catching
her in bed with some other man,

The desperation of the mandarin grew worse when the rumor
spread through the village that a handsome young merchant
named Hu, having done à kindness to an old стопе who turned
out to be a necromancer, had been rewarded with a paste con
len ing invisibility whenever he rubbed it on certain parts ol
his bod

Hearing this, the mandarin went into a frenzy of jealous
rage. Since his wile, Scented Cloud, was the most beautiful
woman in the whole countryside, it was only natural that she
should be the prey of this supernatinally proteaed lover. But
what to do? Who can cuch the wind in a bottle? Or snare a
sigh in a sieve?

Now, it is possible, though no man can prove it, t

through the kindness of his heart, used his gilt to

"Teach your son in the

s of maidens guarded by their fathers. or widows
ident needs could not otherwise be met without risking
illage scandal. One day, Hu saw the

censure of
lovely but melancholy Scented Cloud stepping out of her chair
outside the temple. For а moment, they exchanged the look
that pases between those whose bodics are destined to fit to-
gether like cup and ball, Then Scented Cloud dropped her
nd passed into the temple. Her maid, however, lingered
behind and Hu caught at her sleeve, pressing а gold coin into
her hand.

"Care for your mistress!" he cried.
heaven that 1 could ease her pain!

The maid's eyes scanned his vigorous form. “Yes, she suffers,"
she said boldly, “from need and trom my master's jealousy. JE
she smiles in her sleep, he pinches her awake, for fear she
might be dreaming of someone else! And then there is this
business of an invisible lover," the maid added innocently, as
if she did not know that the young man before her was the
very one of whom this tale was told. “Since he has heard of
this, my master keeps a lamp always burning, in case there
might be a hollow in the bed beside my mistress—or some sign
of the weight of a body pressing upon her from above. If she
moans, he rushes in and pounds the bed all around hat"

“What indignity!” Hu cried.

“And that is not all!” the maid went on. “Every night, he
strews a fine ash dust around the bed and has his servants wait-
ing with staves, so that if the invisible one should come, they
would be able to strike at him by sce footprints in the
dust!

What horror,”

the sava

eyes

‘She suffers! Would to

said Hu, “that an wile should be

from the Strange Stories of P'u Sung-ling, 1740

Ribald Classic

subjected to such susy
your mi

Now Hu had only a small portion of the paste of invisibility
left. But if it would ease the sufferings of the lovely Scented
Cloud, to what better use could it be put? Accordingly, he put
half of what remained into a small gold box (keeping half. for
himself) and gave the box to the maid.

"Give this to your mistress,” Hu commanded, "and tell her to
тир it onto her husband's body after he gets into bed. I can
sure you that his restlessness will vanish.” There was a glint in
his eye as he added: “Perhaps she will then have one night of
peaceful sleep!”

That night, the mandarin had decided to Tay a trap to catch
the invisible lover once and for all. Leaving the village with
much fanfare, so that all might think he was going on a business
trip, he secretly stole back under cover of darkness. Revealing
himself only to his wife and her maid, whom he instructed to
keep watch, he hid himself under the bedcovers. There, the
gentle Scented Cloud massiged his body with the paste. which
her maid had given to her, and, exhausted by all this activity,
he fell asleep

At midnight, а resounding snore echoed through the cham-
ber. and when the maid looked in, the snore seemed to be com-
ing from an empty hollow in the bed. Instantly, she pinched
her mistrest, who screamed with fright.

Then what a howl the maid set up, for the servants to come
with their cudgels! And, eager to prove themselves, how stoutly
they struck at the invisible body in the bed! Then, as the
beaten one leaped to the floor, what satisfying whacks they
made, by aiming their staves a few feet above the footprints that
jumped in the dust! The cries of the wile and the shricks of the
maid drowned out any chance the servants might have had of
recognizing the voice of their master as he howled at them to

ion, totally without cause! We must help

ally, the maid shrieked. “Let him go. the devil!” And the
mandarin Jeaped between the cudgels and out the door, his
shouts of pain and fury swiftly diminishing down the lanes of
the villag

The se
retired t0 their beds.

Only then. as Scented Cloud, in some confusion, sought to
compose herself again for sleep. did а new indentation form
isell in the bed beside her, aud a delightful invisible body
pressed itself dose to hers. “Will wonders never cease!" mur-
mined Scented Cloud, as strange and unimayined pleasur
touched her. A breath blew out the lamp, for Hu's teachings
ht. Scented Cloud was so ardent a pupil that the
the effects

ants and the maid, conscious of a duty well done,

needed no li
dawn found her still awake, thou
of the ointment wore off

So delighted was she by the virile body coming into view
beside lier that she paid no attention to the jeers car
the wind from the market place; for there the mand

likewise become visible without even nightshirt to
cover his skinny shanks. —Retold by Kenneth Marcuse a

exhausted, wh

150

article By HAL HIGDON

in today’s board rooms,

the old-guard organization
man is likely to be outwetted
and outflanked by the crafty
master of job jumping

EXECUTIVE
CHESS

IN THE COLD, ofttimes cruel world of
American business past, tw
personal success. Opportui
the first (and usually foolproof) route
married the major stockholders daughter.
Traditionalists followed а more structured
upward р Join a single corporation,
show loyalty and wait for the sword of
knighthood to tap you on the shoulder
In nizations these two
paths still remain open, "The presidency
of Du Pont is decided in the marriage
bed," one employment counselor re-
cently obse y other corpora-
tions, such as General Electric and IBM,
select nearly all their top executives from
the ranks of those who joined them after
college. But in American business today.
d path beckons. Мапу men now
n the presidency after having switched
jobs three or four times. Those follow.
ing the two other paths risk disaster. On

the eve of his success, the traditionalist
may find his route blocked by merger or
acquisition. (continued on page 193)

weight; all contestants wore black wet
suits, and all dragged their fish behind
them in a plastic float to minimize the
amount of blood in the water.

By сапу afternoon, when he started
his final swim, Fox appeared to be well
ahead. On his last wip to the beach with
load of fish, he had noticed two Luge
ngulir coral
e quarters of a mile

PLAYBOY

bout th

ofishore. Returning to this place, he
parted company with Farley. "He went
опе way and I went the other," Bruce

recalled, making a diving flip

“and the next thing I knew, the
k had him.”

One of the big morwongs was out in
the open in a patch of brown algae and
Fox was gliding in on it, intent, spear
gun extended like an antenna, when he
felt himself overtaken by a strange still-
suspension of sound
of the
It was
" he says. "E didn't tense
up or anything—I didn't have time to."
For at that moment, he was struck so
rd on his left side that his Face m;
was knocked off and his spear gun sent
spinning from his hand, and he found
himself swirled swiftly through the water
by something that enclosed him from the
lelt shoulder to the waist. A great pres
sure made his insides feel as if they had
been forced toward his right side—he
seemed to be choking and he could not
move. Upside down in the creature's
mouth, he was being rushed through the
water, and only now did he make out
the stroke of a great shark's powerful
tail, He was groping wildly, tying to
youge its eyes, when inexplicably, of its
own accord, the shark let go.

Out of breath, ing frantically to
shove himself away, Rodney jammed his
arm straight into its mouth. For thc first
time he felt pain, a pain that became
terrible as he yanked the flesh and veins

amd tendons ош through the
curved. teeth. He fought his way to the
surface and grabbed a

breath, but the shark was right behind
him. When his knees brushed its body,
he clasped it with arms and legs to avoid
the jaws. and the beast took him to the
bottom, scraping h ast the rocks.
Once more, he fled for the surface, and
n the shark followed him up. His
moment of utmost horror came when
through his blurred vision he saw the
great conical head rising toward him out
of the pink cloud of his own blood.
Hopelessly, he kicked at it and the fip-
per skidded off its hide. At the last second,
the head veered toward his float, which
contained a solitary small fish, and a
moment later, the float raced off across
the surface; either the shark had seized
the 1l 1 gotten entangled in the

152 line.

ара

ог

SHARKI (continued [rom page 100)

Once again, Rodney found himself be-
ing dragged through the water; already,
he was far below the surface. He tried to
release the weight belt to which his float
line was attached, but his arms did not
work, nor his mutilated hands. It was at
this moment, when he knew finally

that he was lost —"I had done all I could
on

and wa:
the x

and now | was finished"
the point of drowning.
event occurred in the series of miracles
that were to save his life. Presumably,
the shark's razor teeth had frayed the
heavy line that connected the fish float
to his weight belt, for at this ultimate
moment it parted. For the third time, he
this time he

boat which had brought a young
diver from the beach was only a few yards
rdly dropped him in

rley said, “when they
had to yank him out again, because there
was Rodney screaming in a pool of
blood. They hauled out Rodney, then
came for me and we headed for shore.
The bones were laid bare on Rodne

the water,” Bruce Е,

ght arm and hand—his hand alone
required 94 stitches—and his rib cage,
lungs and upper stomach lay exposed.

“Bruce thought Т was done for.” Rodney
said. “The rotten dog sit up in the bow
with his back to me—wouldn't even look

acme.”

ley grinned. “I just didn't like
the looks of all them guts hangin’ out,"
he stid. In the boat, there was nothing he
could do for Rodney, and he tried to
concentrate on how best to find help on
the beach. “I knew ever
one-two-three if we were going to save
him and 1 didn't even know how bad
he was. Oh, there litle bit of
intestine stickin" we never
opened his suit We
made that mistake on the beach with
Brian Rodger. and his leg fell all aparı.”
Fox himself feels that his suit, holding
his body together until it could be re-
assembled, was one of the many things
ved his life.

‘The first person that Bruce met as he
ran down the beach а policem
who knew just where to telephone
what numbers to call. And someone had
happened 10 bring a car down the rough
cliff wack ло the beach-
was able to bump out
onto the reef to pick up Rodney, and it

ied him back up the cliff to the
highway and eight miles down the road
toward Adelaide,
ferred to the ambulance sent to fetch him.
Already the police were manning every
ntersection on the way, and because he
was traveling just before the Sunday-
afternoon rush he actually reached the
hospital within an hour after he was

thing had to go

was a
out, but
up 10 really sec.

a v

y rare oc

where he was trans

picked up in the boat. His lung was
punctured, he was rasping and choking,
and it was a mirade that he did not
drown in his own blood or bleed to death
within that hour. Nor were the miracles
surgeon on emergency duty
ad just returned from England,

where he had taken special training in
chest operations.

While Rodney was being prepared for
the four-hour operation, he heard urgent

voices. One said that someone should go
for a priest, and Rodney realized that
they thought he was unconscious and did
not believe that he was going to make it.
Desperate, he half sat up on the table,
saying, “I'm a Protestant!” before they
got to him and calmed him down. "He's
a bloody mess," the doctor told Rodney's
wife after th ion, “but he's going
to be all ri

Two г
his excelle
never went

survival were
d the fact that
imo shock. “It’s: shock
ills most people in
п Taylor says, and V
Experienced divers are apt to sur-
vive am attack. because they are Jess apt
to go into shock: Sharks are a reality
that they must live with, and therefore
they are psychologically prepared

1 guess T just wasn't supposed 10 go,"
Rodney says собу. After two weeks,
he was home in bed, though he had to
pay daily visits to the hospital. Six
monds пег, he made himself dive
again, and he has been diving ever since.
In 1964. Ron Taylors team in the Aus
tralian championships ten by the
team of Brian Rodger, Brace Farley and
Rodney Fox.

The 1963 attack on Fox occurred only
a few hundied fect from the place where
Brian Rodger had been attacked: 40 div-
ers were in the water on both days. and
on both, it was the n
. In 1964 Bruce
npion. One competition day, he was
to drive down to Aldinga with Rodger
and Fox, but somehow got left behind.
By himsell, Bruce drove five miles out
of town. then turned. around and went
home. I can't account for it," he says,
1 just lost interest.”
That same day at Aldinga, a year 10
the day alter the attack on Fox, both
Rodney and Brian, separately, simuliane-
ously and for no good reason, started for
shore, The competition had
hour to run and both habit
stuck it out to the very end, but tod
they each had an instinct to leave the
water, Pe two had he
stillness that precedes the coming of the
white death because before they had
reached shore, someone came yelling
down the beach. A young diver named
Gcoll Corner had been bitten just once,
but the great bite l.
(continued on page 181)

asons for Fo:
condi

another

ally

кару the

on the upper le

personality By MIKE ROYKO
a day in the life of the
last of the big-city bosses

WILLIAM KUNSTLER: What is your name?
wrrsrss: Richard Joseph Daley.
WILLIAM KUNSTLER: What is your occu-
pation?
WITNES
Chicago.
The workday begins carly. Sometime
after seven. o'clock, black limousine
glides out of the policestation garage on
the corner, moves less than a block and
stops in front of a weathered pink bun-
galow at 3536 South Lowe Avenue. Pa-
tolman Alphonsus Gilhooly, walking in
front of the house, nods to the detective
at the wheel of the limousine,
n unlikely house for such a car. A
passing stranger might think that a rich
man had come back to visit his people in
the old neighborhood. It’s the kind of
sturdy brick house, common to Chi
that а fireman or printer would buy.
Thousands like it were put up by con-
tractors in the Twenties and Thirties fom
standard blueprints in an architectural
style fondly dubbed. carpenter's delight.
The outside of that pink house is
deceptive. Number 3536 is furnished in
expensive, Colonialstyle furniture, the
nt expensively paneled; two days
a week a woman comes in to help with
the cleaning. The shelves hold religious
figurines and brica-brac. The few books
on display arc symbols of the home's
faith—the Baltimore Catechism, the Bi
ound Profiles in Courage
and several self-improvement books. АШ

: Lam the mayor of the city of

basemi

of the art is religious, most of it bloody
with Crucifixion and crowns of thorns.

Outside, another car has arr
moves slowly. the two detectives pe
down the walkways between the houses,
glancing at the drivers of the cars that
travel the street; then it parks some
where behind the limousine,

At the other end of the block, a blue
squad car has stopped near a corner
. and the policemen are watching
36th Street, which crosses Lowe.

In the alley behind the house,
liceman sits in a car. Like Gilhooly, he
has been there all night. protecting the
back entrance, behind the high wooden
fence that encloses the small yard

Down the street, in another brick bun-
galow, Matt Danaher is getting ready for
work. He runs the 2000 clerical employ:
ees in the Cook County court system,
and he knows the morning routine of
his neighbor. As a young protégé he once
drove the car, opened the door, held the
coat, got the papers. Now he is part of
the ruling circle, and one of the few
people in the world who can walk past
the policeman and into the house, one of
the people who are invited to spend an
evening, sit in the basement, eat. sing,
dance the ish jig. The blue blood
bankers from downtown aren't invited,
although they would like to be, and nei
ther аге men who have been governors,
Senators and ussidors. The people
who come i ng or on Sunday
are old friends from the neighborhood,
the relatives, people who take their coats
off when they walk in the door, and
loosen their ti

Danaher is one of them, and his rela-
tionship to the owner of the house is so
close that he has served as an emotional

whipping boy, so close that he can yell
back and slam the door when he leaves.
But sometimes his stomach hurts in the
morning,

"They're getting up for work in the li
houses and flats all across the old m
borhood known as Bridgeport: and th:
to the man for whom the limousine vaits,
about % of the 40,000 Bridgeport
people we going w jobs in City Hall,
the County Building, the courts, ward
offices, police and fire stations. It's a politi-
cal neighborhood, with political jobs, and
the people can use them. They rank very
low among the city and suburban com-
munities in education. Those who doi
have government jobs work hard for th
money, and it isn't much.

The ethnic blend is Irish, Lithuan
in, Polish, German—all whi
a suspicious neighborhood. In the
heads turn when a stranger comes in.
Blacks pass through in cars but are unwise
10 travel on foot. In 1904, when a black
college student moved into an apartment
оп Lowe, only a block north of the pink
bungalow, there was a riot and he had to
leave.

Well before eight o'clock, the door of
low opens and a short, stout
steps out. His walk is brisk and
bouncy. A nod and smile to Patrolman
Gilhooly and he's in the limousine.

Richard J. Daley is going to work.

The limousine pulls out from the
curb and the car with the two detectives
follows. They are in the tail car, hang.
ing back to prevent Daley йош being
followed.

Its a short drive to the job. The house
is about four miles southwest of the
Loop, within the problem arca known as
the inner city. If the limousine went
cast, toward (continued on page 158) 183

ule

"He's only 6 chief audito 7. Wa ail till you
e the Big Guy!

755 des ily he
154 hu ind c with this dnd

our devilish
cartoonist is up
to scratch
as he hotfoots it
through the
nether regions

TURES’
(7 erno

humor By MICHAEL FFOLKES

“They call this section Boys’ Town.” “T could get you five
hundred years off your sentence.” 155

"Your lips are diabolical,
your eyes are fiendish, your. . ..“

“Great Beelzebub! “Border Control here—one of the "upstairs
Don't you get tired of the same old faces?” crowd wants to defect.”

real kinky place you have here."

PLAYBOY

188

HIZZONER

Lake Shore Drive, it would go through
part of the black ghetto. If it went straight
north, it would emer a deca
borhood in transition from white to Latin
and black. It turns toward an expressway
entrance only а few blocks away.

(continued from page 153)

s at its widest point, with a
rapid-uansit wack down the center. It
steiches from the Loop past the old
South Side ghetto, past the giant bechive
of public housing with its swarming chil
dren, furious street gangs and weary wel-
lare mothers. The man in the back of
the limousine built this expressway, and
he named it after Dan Ryan, a big South
Side politician, who was named after his
father, another big South Side politician.

‘The limousine crosses another express
. this one cutting through the big,
smoky, industrial belt and then south-
west toward white-backlash country.
Daley built that expressway, too, and he
named it after Adlai Stevenson I, whom
he helped build into a Presidential can-
didate, and whom he dropped when it
seemed opportune.

The limousine passes an cxit that
leads to the Circle Campus. the city's
branch of the University of Ilinois, acres
of modem concrete buildings. one of the
biggest city campuses in the country. It
wasn’t easy to build. because thousands
of fanilics in
neighborhood had to be uprooted
their homes and churches torn down.
They cried that they were betrayed, that
they had been promised they would stay.
But Daley built it anyway.
mile or so and

the city’s oldest 1.

the limou-
‚аһ
g out straight west, through
the worst of the ghetto slums, where the
biggest riots and fires occurred in the
1968, for which the outraged
geous “shoot to kill” order was

Another

issued. Straight west, past the house where
his

two Black Panthers were killed, one
bed, by predawn police raiders in Dec
ber 1969, Daley opened that
and named it after Dwight D. Eisenhower,
making it the city’s only Republican
expressway.

When the limousine nears the Loop,
the Dan Ryan blends into a fourth es
pressway. This one goes thr
Puerto Rican ghetto and the
the old Polish neighborhood. where the
old people remain while their children.
move a then into the middle-class
far Northwest Side, where Dr. Martin
Luther King’s marchers walked through
a shower of bottle
ends at O'Hare Airport, the na
est jet handler. Daley bu
way, too, and he named it after John F.
Kennedy, whom he helped clect Presi-
dent; and he built most of the airport,

bricks and spit. It
ion’s busi-

and opened it, although he still calls it
“O'Hara.”

During the ride he reads the two local
morning papers, always waiting on the
back seat. He's a fast but thorou
reader and he concentrates on news
about the city. Somewhere he is in the
papers every day, if not by name—and
the omission is rare—at least by deed.
The papers like him. If som
gone well, he'll be praised i
i gone badly. one of

rial. If something
his subordinates will be criticized. During
the 1908 Democratic Convention, when
their reporters were being bloodied, one
of the more scathing editorials was di-

rected at а lowly police-department public-
relations man.

also. but
t happened on Chi-
s printed a week alter
vention ended, its ort
and flat lies unchallenged, He dislikes
reporters and writers, but gets on well
with editors and publishers, а wait usu-
ally found in Republicans rather than
Democrats. H he feels that he has been
criticized unfairly, which covers most
criticism, he doesn't hesitate to pick up a

n editor, All
papers endorsed him for his fourth
term—even the Chicago Tribune, the

voice of Midwest Republicanism—but. in
neral he views the papers as ener
The reporters, specifically. ‘Th
know things that, be
men, are none of their busines
at les under-
stand why they let reporters exercise it,
The mayor puts down the papers as
the limousine leaves the expressway and
enters the Loop, stopping in front of St.

. Editors,

have power, but he doc;

Peters church. When the bodyguards
have parked and walked to his car, he
gets out and enters the church. This is

n important part of hì Since child-
hood he has attended daily Mass, as his
mother did before him. On Sı nd
some workdays, hell go to his own
church, the Church of the Nativity, just
around the corner from his home. That's
where he was baptized, confirmed and
rried, and the place from which his
parents were buried. Before. Faster, his
wife will join the other neighborhood
ladies for the traditional scrubbing, of
the church floors. Regardless of what he
may do in the afternoon, and to whom,
he will always pray in the morning.
After Mass, it’s a few steps to the side
door of Maxim's, а glassand-plastic cof-
feeshop, where a table is set up in the
privacy of the re v he comes in.
105 not to be confused with Chicago's
other Maxim's, a Near North Side bistro
that serves haute cuisine and has a disco-

think he was putting on airs. He
home most of the time, and for dinners
Out there are sedate private clubs with
tables in quiet corners.

He leaves a dollar for his coffee and
roll and marches with his bodyguards
toward City Hall—"the Hall," as it is
called locally, as in “I got a job in the
Hall" or "Sec my brother in the Hall
and he'll fix it for you.”

He glances at the new Civic Center,
tower of russet steel and glass, fronted by
us plaza with a fou
Picasso's awesome me
Picasso is an

n and
1 sculpture, The
mph. He knows

that because the city's cultural leaders
have told him it is.
He put it all there, the Civic Center.

the plaza, the Picasso, And the judges and
county officials who work in the Civic
Center, he put most of them there, 100.

Wherever he looks as he marches,
there are new skyscrapers up and
finished or going up. The city has be-
come ап architect's delight, except when

the architects see the great Louis Sul-
liva admark buildings being ripped
down for parking garages or allowed

to degenerate into slums. None of the
new buildings was there before. His
leadership put them there, his con-
fidence, his encgy. If he kept walking
north a couple of more blocks, he'd see
the twin towers of Marina City, the
striking cylindrical downtown apartment
buildings, а self-contained community
with bars and restaurants, an ice rink,
shops and clubs. and every
with a balcony for siting out
smog. His good friend С
built it, with financing fron
union, run by his good friend William
McFetridge. For Charlie Swibel, th:
achievement was а long advance on be
ing a flophouse operator and slum lord.
Now some of Charlie's flophouses are
going to be torn down and the area west
of the Loop redeveloped for office build-
ings and such. Charlie will do that, too.
Let people wonder why outoftow
investors let Charlie in for a big piece of
the new project without his having to
put up any money or take any risk. Let
people ask why the city
the land under urbancr
rushed through approval of Charlie's
bid. Let them ask if ihere's а conflict of
interest: Charlie is ако the head of the
city’s publichousing agency and, а such,
a city official. Let them ask why Charlie's
taxes and those of other big real-estate

operators and. party fat cats were slashed
by County Assessor P, J. Cullerton, sav-
ing them millions. Let them ask, What

trees do they plant? What lı
they put up?

Head high, shoulders back, Mayor
Daley strides with his bodyguards at the
pace of an infantry forced march. The
morning walk used to be much longer

ldings do

PLAYBOY

160

than two blocks, In the quiet of the Fil.
ties, the limousine dropped him south of
the Ait Institute on Michigan Avenue,
and he'd walk a mile and a half up the
Avenue, one of the most elegant boule-
vards in America, grinning at the moming
crowds that bustle past the shops and
hotels across from nt Park. That
ritual ended in the Sixties, when people
began walking for something more than
pleasure and a man couldn't be sure whom
he'd meet on the street.

He rounds the comer and a body-
d moves ahead to hold open the
door. An elderly man is walking slowly
and painfully. close to the wall. using it
as support. His name is Al and he is a
lawyer. Years ago, he was just a ward
boss's nod away from becoming a judge
He had worked hard for the party and
had earned the Баск robe, and he was
even a pretty good lawyer. Bur the ward
bos died on him and judgeships can't
be left in wills, Now his health is bad
and Al has an undemanding job i
county government.

Daley spotted Al, called out his name,
rushed over and gave him a two-handed
handshake, the maximum in City Hall
fection. He had seen Al maybe twice in
ten years, but he quickly recalled all of
his problems. his work, and a memory
they shared. He likes old people, keeping
them in key jobs and reslating them for
office when they can barely walk, and
even when they can't. Like the marriage
vows, the pact between jobholder and
party ends on!y in either’s death, so long
as the paronage employee loves, honors
id obeys the party. Later that
will write an eloquent lener in prais
his old friend to a newspaper, which will

tit
The bodyguard is sill holdi
wd Daley goes in at full str
enters a тоот tentative
plosively and with a sense of purpose
(d direction. especially when the build-
ing is City Hall

Actually, it is two identical buildings.
City Hall and the Cook County Build-
ing. At the tum of the century, the
County Building was erected on half the
diy block. and shortly thereafter City Hill
was put up. Although structurally identi-
cal Сиу Hall cost considerably
icago history is full of such oddities.
The lobby and ширма

more.

s cor-

as a polit у never goes
through ihe County Building, It is the
in of another po the presi

dent of the Cook County Board, who is
known

аз the mayor of Cook County
and, in theory, is second only to Daley in
power. Later in the day, the president of
Cook County will call and ask how the
domain should be run

The elevator operators know Daley's
habits and are holding back the doors of
The elevators are automated, but

many operators rem
standing in the lobby, point
cars and. saying: "Next
finc, but how man
ic elevator deliver?

He gets off at the fifth floor, where hi
offices are. Thats why he's known as The
Man on Five, He is also known as duh
Mare and hizzoner and duh leader. For
many, i ноп

He n
his outer offices, where people are al-
ready waiting. hoping to sce him. They
must be cleared first by policemen, then
by three secretaries. He doesn't use the
main entrance because the people would
jump up. clutch at his hands and overex-
Gite themselves, He was striding through
the building one day when a little m
sprang past the bodyguards and kissed
his hand.

Down the corridor, a bodyguard has
opened a private door leading directly to
his threeroom office compl
always uses the side door.

The bodyguards quickly check his
office, then file into а smaller adjoining
led with keepsakes from Presi
dents and his trip to Ireland. They use
the room as a lounge while studying his
schedule, pla the routes and w
g- Another room is used for taking
important phone calls when he has so
one with him. Calls from President. Ken-
nedy and President Johnson were put
throu t room.
mewhere in the building, phone ex-
perts have cleared his lines for taps. The
limousine has been parked on LaSalle
Street, outside the Hall's main entrance,
wd the tail car has moved into plac
His key people are already in the
offices, al
he
nine At, he, Richard Joseph Daley.
in his office and behind the big gleaming
mahogany desk, in a high-backed dark
green leather chair, ready to start апо
er day of doing what the experts say is
no longer possible—running a big Ame
ican city. But as he has often said to
confidants, "What in hell do the experts
know?" He's been running a big Ameri-
cin city for 15 of the toughest years
American cities have ever seen. He,
Daley, has been ng it as long as
or longer than any of the oth
mayors—Curley of Boston, La С
New York, Kelly of Chi

n oi

job.
open

n auto-

be run

Twenty is a nice round figure. ‘They
give soldiers a pension after 20 years and
some companies give wr

lake and named after him,
у statue outside the Civic
enter, with a modest inscription, like,
The greatest mayor in the history of the
world." And they might cordon off his
office as a shrine.

Its strictly a business office. Like the
man, the surroundings have no distract
ing frills. He wears excellently tailored
business suits. buying six а year from
Duro's. one of the best shops on Michi-
gan Avenue, The shirt is always radiant
white, the tie conservative. Because his
shoulders are narrow, he never works in
his shirt sleeves, and is seldom seen pub:
lidy in casual clothes. The businesslike
appearance carries through the office.
The carpets, furniture and walls are in
muted shades of tan and green, The only
color is provided by the flags of the
United States and the City of Chicago.
and а color photograph of his family
The office is without art. When a promi-
ment cultural leader offered to dor
steful, traditional paintings to
office, an aide said: “Please, no, he сапт
cept them. People would think he's
going high hat."

"The desk, with a green-leather inset. is
always clear of papers. He is an ly
man. Besides, he doesn't like to put
things on paper. preferring the tele
phone. Historians will look in vain for

a revealing memo. an angry note. He
stores his information in his brain, and
а computerlike recall bank.
The work begins immediately. The
rst call will be to his secretary, to check
the waiting visitors and to summon his
press secretary so that he can let the aide

now il he wants to talk to the press that
ng. He holds more pres conf
ences than any other major public official
in the country least two and usually
three a week. In the beginning, they
could be relaxed. casual, often friendly
id easy. with the reporters coming into
getting the questions and an
swers out of the way and swapping fish
few jokes—always cle
jokes, because he walks away from the
dirty ones. But with television, th
conferences became formal. They moved
10 а conference room and became. less
friendly as the times became less friend.
ly. He works to control his emotions but
sometimes finds it impossible not to blow
up and begin raming. Reporters are like
xperts. What do they know?

If he is going to see them, Earl Bush.
the press ide, will brief him on likely
questions. The veteran City Hall report
s аге not hostile, since they have to live
with the mayor, but the TV perso,
sometimes ask the questions c
purple face and a fit of shouting

ather than to evoke information, He
knows it. but sometimes it's hard not to
get purple and shout.

If he doesn't feel like bothering, he'll
just tell Bush. "to hell with them,” and
go on to other work. Bush never
He's been there since the beginning.
when he w hungry journalist run
ning a struggling neighborhood. newspa
per news service and had a hunch that

moi

rel

his office,

stories and

press

causc

“We'd like a learners’ permit.”

161

PLAYBOY

the quiet man running the County
Clerk's office was going to go somewhere.
On the day after the first mayoral elec-
tion, Daley threw three S100 bills into
his rumpled lap and said. “Get youself
some decent-looki clothes.“ Since then,
Bush has slept a night in the White
House.

Alt

Bush will come someone like
Deputy Mayor David Stahl, one of the
young administrators the old politicians
call the whiz kids. Like the other whiz
kids, Stahl is serious, well educated, obe-
dient and ambitious; he keeps his sense
of humor out of sight. He was hired for
these qualities and also because his
ther-in-law is a realestate expert and a
dose friend of the mayor,

On a day when the city council is
meeting, Alderman Thomas Keane will
slip in the side door to brief the mayor
on the agenda. Keane is considered sec
ond in party power, but it is a distant

cond. He wanted to be in front. but
was distracted by a craving for personal
wealth. You can't have both power and
money if the man you're chasing is con-
centrating only on power. Now Keane is
rich but too old ever to be the successor.

If there is a council mecting, every
body marches downstairs at а few minutes
before ten. Bush and the department
heads and personal aides form а proud
parade. The meeting begins when the seat
of Richard Daley's pants touches the

council president's chair, which is placed
beneath the great seal of the City of Chi-
ago and above the heads of the aldermen,
who sit in а semibow! auditorium.

It is Daley's council, and in all the
years it has never once defied him as а
body. Keane manages it for him, and
most of its members do what they are
1010. In other eras, the aldermen ran the
city and plundered it. In the mayor's
boyhood, they were so constantly on the
prowl they were known as The Gray
Wolves. His council is known as The
Rubber Stamp.

He looks down at them, bestowing a
nod or a benign smile on a few favorite:
and they smile back gratefully, He sel-
dom nods or smiles at the small minority
of white or black independents. The
independents anger him more than the
Republicans do, because they accuse him
of racism, fascism and dictatorship. The
Republicans bluster about loafing pay

rollers, crumbling guiters, inflated budg-
ets—traditional. comfortable accusations
that don't stir the blood.

That is what Keane is for. When the
minority goes on the attack, Keane or
one of the administration aldermen he
has groomed for the purpose v 2 rise
and answer the criticism by shouting
t the critic is а fool, a hypocrite
ignorant and sisguided. Until his death,
derman could be expected to leap

10 his feet at least once exch mecting and

ay: “God bless our mayor, the greatest
mayor in the world!”

But sometimes Keane and his ever-
ready orators can't shout down the
nority. so Daley has to do it himself. If
provoked, he'll break into a rambling,
ranting speech, waving his arms, shaking
his fists, defending his judgment, defend
ing his administration, always with the
familiar: “Jt is easy to criticize . . . to
find lault ... but where are your pro-
grams . . . where are your ideas?"

И diat doesn't shut off the critics, he
will declare them out of order, threaten

mi-

to have the sergeant at arms force them
imo their seats, and invoke Robert's
Rules of Order, which he once described
in the heat of debate as “the greatest
book ever written.”

All else failing, he will look toward a
glass booth above the specuitors’ balcony
and make a gesture known only to the
man in the booth, who operates the
system thar controls die micropl
on each alderman's desk. The man
the booth will touch a switch and the
offending critics microphone will go
dead, and stay dead, until he sinks into
his chair and closes his mouth.

‘The mectings are never peaceful and
orderly, The slightest criticism touches off
shrill reburral leading to louder criti-
cism and, finally, an embarrassingly wild
and vicious oral free-for-all, Daley is а
man who speaks highly of law and order,

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With a low price that'sthe envy of other

intermediates. With an innovative design.
Our 2-door and our 4-door models, for
example, have their own designs; neither
is compromised for the other.

but sometimes it appears that he enjoys
the chaos and he seldom moves to end it
until the confrontation has raged out of
control. Every word of criticism must be
aswered, every complaint must be dis-
proved, every insult must be returned in
kind. He doesn't take anything from
anybody. While mediating negotiations
between white trade unions and black
groups who wanted the unions t0 accept
blacks, а young militant angrily rejected
onc of Daley's suggestions and conclud-
ed: "Up your as!" Whereupon Daley
leaped to his feet and answered: “And
up yours, too!” Would John Lindsay have
become so involved?

Independent aldermen been
known to come up with a good proposal,
such as providing food for the city's
gy or starting daycare centers for
lren of ghetto women who w:
work, and Daley will acknowledg
idea, He'll let
ne appropriate it, to rewrite and
resubmit
That way, the independent reaps the
satisfaction of seeing his idea reach frui-
tion and the administration has more
glory. But most of the independents’
suggestions are sent to a special subcom-
mittee that exists solely to bury their
unwelcome ideas.

The council meetings seldom last be-
yond the lundi hour. Aldermen have

have

but in his own way

as an administration. measure.

much to do. Many are lawyers and have
thriving practices; Chicagoans know that
а dumb lawyer who is an alderman can
often perform greater legal miracles than
a smart lawyer who isn't.

Keane will go to a hotel dining room
near City Hall, There at a large round
table in a corner he lunches cach day
with a clique of high-rise real-estate de-
velopers. financiers and political cronies.
The things they plan and share will
shape the future of the city, as well as
the future of their heirs.

Daley has no such luncheon circle and
he cats only with old and close friends or
one of his sons. Most afternoons, he
darts across the street to the Sherman
House Hotel and his office in the Demo-
craie headquarters where, as chairman
of the Cook County Regular Democratic
Organization, he will work on purely
political business: somebody pleading 10
be slated for an office or advanced to a
judgeship, a dispute between ward bosses
over patronage jobs. He tries to separate
political work from his dutics as mayor,
but nobody has ever been able to sce
where one ends and the other begins.

Lunch will be sent up and he might
be joined by someone like Raymond
Simon. a Bridgeport-born son of an old
friend. Daley put him in the city legal
department when he was fresh out of
and in a few y

Taw school, ars he was

charge of the department, one of the
biggest municipal law jobs in the coun-

try. Now Simon has taken on an even
bigger job: He has gone into private
practice with Daley's oldest son, Richard

Michael, not long out of law school. The
Tame SIMON AND DALEY on the office doa
possesses magic that has the big clients
almost waiting in line. Daley's next old
cst son, Michael, has gone into practi
with a former law partner of the mayor;
he too will soon have a surprisingly pros
perous practice for so young and inexpe-
rienced an attorney. Daley filled Simon’
place in his cabinet with another bright
young lawyer, this one a first cousin.
When there's time, Daley is driven 10
the private Lake Shore Club for lunch, a
swim or a steam bath. Like most of the
better private clubs in the fine buildings
along the lake front, the Lake Shore Club
accepts Jews and blacks, But you have to
sit there all day to he sure of seeing one
It's a pleasant drive to the club. Going
north on Michigan, he passes through the
shadow of the John Hancock Building,
one of the tallest buildings in the world
and twice as high as anything near it. It
was built during his fourth term, despite
the cries of those who said it would bring
intolerable trafic congestion 10 the gr
cious streets around it and that it would

lead to other oversized buildings diat
would destroy the unique flavor ol Michi
gan Avenuc's "magnificent. mile.” That's

There’s no compromise, either,

in the smooth

for the buy of the year.

America’s lowest-priced 2-door
intermediate. Come to think of it—
could be the buy of a lifetime.

torsion-bar ride, Or inthe sturdiness of the

rust-resistant Unibody.
Plymouth Satellite. It’s got the makings

‘Based on a comparison of manufacturers" suggested
retail prices for closest comparable body style, com-
perably-equipped, excluding state and local

ax Gesünaton charges, equipment requirsd by pt

pin the
play in the hay.”

then we

gol to be, Shorty. First, we s

B
straw into gold

“That's the way it

164

sh
al camp:

exactly wh
current maye
certainly chim Big John as
monument ло his leadership.

From Michigan Avenue the limousine
puns to Lake Shore Drive. with the lake
and beaches on the right, wh
there when he started, and the gre
of high-rise buildings on the left, which
n't. Dozens of them, hundreds, stretch-
ng mile after mile, all the way to the
city limits, and almost all erected. during
his istration, providing city living
for the upper-middle dass and. billions
jı profits lor the real-estate develops
are his administration's solution
keeping people in the city.

Behind the high-rises are the crum
bling, crowded buildings where the
lower-income people live. No answer has
been found to their housing problems,
because the real-estate moguls say there's
not enough profit in building homes for
them. And beyond them are the middle-
income people, who Curt make it to the
high-rises and can't stay where they are be-
cause the schools are inadequate, the poor
are pushing toward them and nothing
s being done about their problems: so
they move to the suburbs, When their chil-
dren grow up and they retire, maybe the
they cam move to а lakefront h
y two o'dock, he's back beh
desk d working. One of his visitors
will be a city official unique to Chicago
city yoverament: the director of patron-
age. He brings a list of all new city
employees for the day. The list isn’t
limited to the key employees, the profes-
sional people. All new workers are there
—down to the window washer, the ditch-
digger, the garbage collector. After each
name will be a résumé of the man's
background and the job and, most im-
portant, the man's political sponsor. No-
body goes to work for the city—and that
includes governmental bodies that are
not directly under the mayor—without
Daley's knowing about i. He must see
every name, because the person beco
more than an employee: He joins the
al machine, part of the army n
g in the thousands that will help
win elections. (They damn well beuer,
or they won't keep the jobs.) He scans
the list for anything unusual A new
ployee might be related to somebody

an important. businessm ]
family. That will be noted,
He might have been fired by «nother
city office in а scandal, ‘That won't keep
him from being put to work somewhere
else. Some bad ones have worked for half
the governmental offices in the city.
There might be a police reco

ppening, but in h
Daley ill
another

wat

prompts а сай to the politi
for an explanation. "He's clean now."
“Are you sure?" "Of course, it was just a
youthful mistake.” “Three times?" "Give

him а break, his unde is my best pre-
Ginct captain." "OK, а break, but keep

your eye on him." As he has said so
often when the subject of ex-cons on the
city payroll comes up: “Are we to deny
these men honest employment
society? Are we to deprive the
ht to work . . . to become rel
cd?" He will forgive anything short of
Republicanism.
The afternoon

work moves with nev-

er a minute wasted, The engineers and
Planners come with their reports. on
publicworks projects. Something is al

ways being built, concrete being poured,
steel being riveted, conira
riched

When will it be completed?”
asks.

апу February.”

“Tt would be a good thing for the
people if it could be completed by the
end of October

The engineers say it can be done, but
it will mean. putting on extra. shifts,
night work, overtime pay, a much higher
сом Шап planned.

“Tt would be a good thing for the
people if it could be completed. by the
end of October

Of course it would be а good thing for
the people. Ht would alo be а good
thing for the Democratic candidates who
ге seeking election in carly November
to go out and ан a ribbon for à new

expressway or а water-filuation plant or,
if ng else is handy. another wing at

the O'Hare terminal. WI
their opponents cut?

t ribbons do

The engineers and planners under
stand, and they sec that it gets finished
by October.

On a good afternoon, there will be uo

neighborhood organizations to see him,
because if they get to Daley it means
they have been up the Ladder of govern-
ment and nobody has been able to solve
their problem, And that usually means a
conflict benween the people and. some-
body ebe, such as a politician or a busi-
nessman whom his aides don't want to
rullle. There are many things his depart-
ment heads can't do. "They can't cross
swords with ward bosses or politically
heavy businessmen. They can't make im-
portant decisions, Some can't even make
petty decisions. Daley runs City Hall like
ll family business and keeps every
body on a short rein, They do only what
they know is safe and what he tells them
10 do. So many things that should Togi-
cally be solved several r
«ome to him.

Because of this, he has many re
from neighborhood people. Aud when a
group is admitted. to his office, most of
them nervous and wide-eyed, he knows
who they are, knows their leaders. and
their strength in che community. They
have already been checked out by some-
body. He must know everything. He
doesn't like to be surprised. Just as he
knows the name of every new worker,

a smi

ngs below finally

чем

he must know wh
various city offices.

t is going on in th
If the head of ıl

office doesn't tell him, he has somebody
there who will. In

the olfices of other
trusted person
1 keep him informed. Out in the
neighborhoods his precinct captains are
reporting to the ward committeemen
and they are reporting to him. His po
lice department's intelligence gathering
division gets bigger and bigger, its ne
work of infiltrators, informers and spies
creating, massive files on dissenters, streer
gangs, political enemies, newsmen, radi
cals, liberals and anybody else who might
he working against him. If onc of his
aides or hand-picked olheeholders is
shacking up with a woman, he will know
i. And if that man is married and a
Catholic. his political career will wither
nd dic. That is ine greatest sin of all
You cn make money under the table
amd move ahead, but you are forbidden
10 make secretaries under the sheets. He
has dumped several party. members for
violating his personal moral standards, I
something is leaked to the press, the
bigmouth will be tracked down and pun
ished. Scandals aren't. public sci
you get there before your en
So when the people come in. he knows
what they want and whether it is posible
to give it 10 them. Whether or nor they
get it often depends on how they ac
will come out from behind the
desk, all d handshakes and
qm. Lhen he I return. to his chair
and sit very straight, hands folded, s
ous and attentive. To one side will be
somebody from the appropriate. city de
parue. Now ite up to the group. И
they are respectful. he will express synt
pithy, ask encouraging questions

who wi

smiles

aud,
finally, tell them that everything possible
will he done. And after they leave. he
may sty: ih that
command. nything is pos
sible, anybody's rocs can be stepped on.

But if they ate pushy, anta
demanding instead of imploring, or bold
enough to be critical of him. ıo tell him
how he should do his job. to blame him
for their problem, he will rub his hands
together, harder and harder. In a long,
difficult meeting, his hands will get raw
Mis voice gets lower, softer, and the
corners of his mouth turn down, At this
those who know him will back off
xt But the w

po
They know what's n
miliar, the militant, will mistake his low
cred voice and nervousness for weakness.
Then he'll blow, and it comes in a frantic
тоаг want you to tell me what to do.
You come up with the answers. You come
up with the program. Are we perfec?
Are you perfec? We all make mistake
We all have faults. It's easy to criticize. Is
easy to find fault. But you tell me wha

to do. This problem is all over the city.
We didn't create these problems. We
don them. But we are doing what

165

we can, You tell me how to solve them,
You give me a program.” All of which
leaves most. people dumb, since few citi-
zens walk around with urban programs
in their pockets. So they end
where they started.
ave, and the favor seekers who
h him at lunch come in.
Half the people he sees want a favor.
‘They plead for promotions, something
for their sons, a chance 10 do some
business, to get somebody in City Hall
ШЕП backs, a chance to return. from.
political exile, а boon. They won't get
wer right there and then. Te will
sidered and he'll let them know.
ater, when he

PLAYBOY

be ci
Later, sometimes. much
has considered the alternatives and the

benelits, word will get 1 them. Yes
or no. Success or failure, Life or death

Some job seekers come directly to him.
Complete outsiders, meaning no family

ical connections, will be sent 10
see their ward committeemen. That is
protocol, and that is what he did to the
1 young black man who came to see
him a few yeas ago bearing а letter
from a Southern governor who wrote
the young black man was one of the
vising political prospects in his state.
Daley told him to sec his ward commi
temin and, if he did some precinct
work, rang doorbells, hustled up some
votes, there might be a government job
for him. Maybe something like maki
change in a tollway booth. The Revere
acksom. now the citys leading
leader, still hasn't
ig over that.

Others come asking him to resolve a
problem. He is the city’s leading labor
mediator and has prevented the kind of
strikes that have crippled New York. His
ather was a union man. and he comes
from a union neighborhood; many of
the union leaders were his boyhood
friends, He knows what they want. And
it is in the суз treasury, they will
it If it isn’t there, he'll promise to

ack t

find й, He has ended а teachers’ strike.
by promising that the state legislature
would find funds for them, which sur-

prised the Republicans in Springfield,
well as putting them on the spot. He is
n effective mediator with the manage-
ment side of labor disputes, because they
respect his judgment and because. there
үс Few industries that do not need some
avers from City Hall.

There are disputes he won't bother
with, such the conflict between two.
party members, both lawyers,
ained by a rival business interest
in a zoning dispute because of their

influence. This is the kind of situation
that can drive functionaries berserk,
Daley angrily wiped his hands of the mat-

tex, bawled them out for creating the mess,

nd let them take their chances on a fai
There are so many clients,
166 peace shoukd exist among friends.

decision.

The alternoon is almost gone, but the
petitioners still keep coming in the front
door, the summoned aides through the
side. The phone keeps ringing, bringing
reports from his legiskuors in Spring-
field, his Congressmen in Washington,
and from prominent businessmen, some
of whom will waste a minute of his time
for the glory of telling dinner guests: “I
mentioned that to Dick and he likes the
idea
Finally, the scheduled appointments
have been cleared, the unscheduled hope
fuls told to come back again, a few kite
calls made to his closest aides It's six
dod, but he's still going, as if reluc
tant 10 мор. The workdays have grown
Jonger over the yeas, the vacations short-
er. There is Jess visible joy in it all. but
he works harder now than ever before,
Some of his fiends say he isn’t comlort-
able anywhere but in the office on fiv
The bodyguards check the corridor
ıd he heads downstairs to the limou
sine. Most of the people in the Hall
have left and the mop crews are going to
work, but always on the sidewalk outside
will be the old hangerson, waiting to
grecting, to get a nod or a smile
in return.

On the way out, Bush hands him a
speech. s for the next stop, а ban-
q ders, or a professional
group, or an important convention. The
hotel grand ballroom is a couple of mi
utes away and he'll speed-read the speech
just once on the way, а habit that con-
tributes 0 his stinge style of public
speaking, the emphasis often on the
wrong words, the sentences overlapping
and the words tumbling over each other.
Wherever he goes, the gathering will be
heavy in boosterism. full of optimism for
the future, pride in the city, à reminder
of what he has done, Even in the most
nt meetings, they will seek out
ndshake, his recognition. A long
time ago. when they had opposed him,
he put out the hand, and moved the few
steps to them, Now they come to
He arrives alter dinner, in ume to be
troduced, speak, and ger back to the c;

The afternoon papers are on the back
seat and he reads them until the limou
sine stops in front of the funeral home.
Wakes are still part of political courtesy
d his culture. He's been to a thousand
of them since he started in politics, On
the way up. the slightest connection wi
the deceased or his family v.
nough to po. Now he goes to few
only to these involving fiends, neigh-
bors, fellow politicians. His sons fill in
for him at others. Most likely, he'll go to
ake on the South Side, because that’s
re most of his old friends are from.
hı be Meneineys. which
that bear а poem
“Bring out the lace curtains and
call McInerney, / Рт nearing the end
of my life's pleasant jowney.” Or John
1's, опе of the biggest, owned by his

im.
ne

has

high school pal and one of the last of
the successful. undertaker-pe
undertiker-politians and ihe
keeper-politicians have given
Iawyerpoliticians, who are no better, and
they don't even buy you a drink or oller
a prayer

He knows how to act at a wake, going
to the immediate family, saying the prop-
er things, offering his regrets, somber-
ly and with dignity. F val is
an event as the other fellow's dep:
Belore leaving, he will kneel at the c
and sign the visitors book. A Питу of
handshakes, and he is back im the car.

s big,
ture.
asket

Its Бие wh the limousine turns
toward Bridgeport. His neighbors are
already home watching TY, or at the

Pump having a beer and talking base-
hall, race or politics. His wife, Eleanor,
on Sis, as he calls her, knows his schedule
jd will be making supper. Something
boiled. meat and potatoes, home-baked
loaves a week, His
ays made bread, And maybe
m lor dessert. He likes ice cream.
s am old ice-cream parlor in the
ghborhood, amd sometimes he goes
there for à sundae, as in boyhood da
limousine passes Comiskey Park,

bread. She makes six
mother alw
ice cre:

where his beloved White Sox play ball.
He goes 10 Wrigley Field, too, but o
be seen. The Sox arc his team. He can
walk 10 the ball park from the house. At
least he used то be able to walk there. To-
day it's not the same. A person cant walk
nywhere. Maybe someday he'll build a
big superstadium for all the teams, better
than any other city’s. Maybe on the la
front. Let the conservationists mo:
will be good for business, drawing con
ventioners from hotels, and located. near
m expressway so people in the suburbs
an drive in, With lots of parking space
for them, and bright lights so they can
walk. Someday, if there's time, he might
just build it

Acos Halsted Street, then а turn
down Lowe Avenue, into the glow of the
brightest streetlights of any city in the
ry. The streets were dark before; а
on couldn't see who was there, Now
ts so bright il
some people have to lower their shades
at night. He turned on all those lights,
he built them, Now he cin see a block
ahead from his car, to where the police-
man is guarding the front of his home.

He tells the driver that tomorrow will
require am even carlier мап. He must
caich a flight to Washington to tell a
commitice that the cities need more
here are so many things that
must be built, so many more people to
be hited. Bur he'll be back the same day,
in the afternoon, maybe with enough
time 10 stop at the Hall. There's always
something to do there, Things have to be
done. II he doesn't do them, who will?

THE GIRS OF НШМО „аон рео

change 1
windmills.

At бам blush, Dutch girls don't sei
much different [rom their urban counte
poris in other European counties, They
ine influenced by virtually the same tastes.
moved by similar social currents and in
spired by more or les identical aims in
ifc. But there are a couple of notable
distinctions, one of which is the female
Hollander's c cor. Not every
one of them, il asked what she likes do
best, would. reply, king
ching as did onc
conversation with а PLAYBOY
but few would regard this response
particularly. oura А visitor
tamed to the word games that characterize
so many male-female encounters ee
would be agreeably disarmed by the forth-
ss of the Dutch.
impress him eve
the astonishing variety of b
hill see on the streets statues
blondes, bronzed belles from Aruba
the other islands of the Netherlands Ar
les, dark-eyed sirens from former Dutch
тиопез in Southeast Asia. Holland is
the uation in which the pl
minriage of the miniskirt with bicycle
ed. Dich men are so
the sight of miles of by
st on bikes that they
cu, tention, but lorcigners
who find themselves in a Durch city on
Wm day olten ore its historic attrac-
tions and station themselves by the
the road, hoping lor a strong breeze.

I modem Dutch girls—panticularly
those in go-go Amsterdam—appear 10 be
urdened. with the guilt ol so-called
conventional morality, its because they
question and olten reject йз validity,
prelerring to respect their individual
consciences rather than the rules once
imposed by authority. "We make up our
own minds," says а vivacious 23-year-old
Catholic. employed as a hotel receptionist.
“L go to church because 1 believe in God
and the pill, not in the Pope. He wouldn't
pay for an abortion if I needed one and
I don't see why I should go without sex
just because Fm single, What a stupid,
old-fashioned idea!”

OF all the profound changes that have
shaken the structure of this small, dense-
Jy packed democracy, the most important
have been effected by the youth of both
sexes, Unlike their counterparts in the
politicized U.S. youth movement, whose
espousal of violence has fri hiened off
potential sympathizers (and, predictably,
brought about even stiffer repressive
measures by the established order),
young Dutch men and women choose to
work within the system. Already they've
scored victories at the political level; three

ve begun to stir more th

very candid

erviewer

ous. accus-

more is
ий] girls
Nordic
d

te
abo

asant

was consumm 0
customed lo

kegs flashing р

unl

candidates in their 205 won seats on the
city council Last summer, And che blun-
instrument of social protest
ploy is humor, as the Dutch women's
ib demonstrated when a faction known
as Dolle Minas went out into the streets.
md onto the publicis tion
tem of Amsterdam last усаг, grabbing
handfuls of masculine bottoms, Dolle
Minas translates roughly Crazy
Women,” and its activisis—who have
objection to being known as crazy wom-
d their campaign lor
equal rights into the sanctuary of the
street pisoir. They demanded,
bly enough, that these strictly male con-
veniences be opened. to ladies, too.
But even the Dolle Minas have
been very active in recent months,
Amsterdam is simply not
conducive to prolonged hostility between
the sexes, Sooner or Liter, everyone—male
md. femiale—seems to end up peacefully
coexisting in this city, which has rapidly
become the cosmopolitan crossroad for
ich of young Europe as well as of young
Holland. Distances are short and tr
portation excellent within the Nethe
lands and the girls of The Hague.
Rotterdam, Haarlem and Utredu, as well
„ those Brom the countryside of Zeeland
nul the Br flock to Amsterdam
search of excitement. They almost always
find it. The city exud| i
ble sexuality: the redlight district holds
а pia ly of sex bur of a
mysterious something more. The I
the window nd pink, and
their reflections twinkle invitingly in the
dark waters of
policemen мор at one of th

c the

sys

isporta

imo

reason

not
per
haps because

hant

nise

not m

v warm

the

anal. A couple of
doorways

INFORMATION.

and chat amiably with а
Indonesian girl about her mother's ii
fluenza. They move away tactfully whe
a customer approaches, bid him good
evening amd cross the canal bridge to
resume their duties, hands clasped behind
their backs like a couple of worker priests
making the rounds of an м con
ation,

In Amstedam’ two bi
tainment areas, the Leidseplein and the
Rembrandtsplein, the 1
cothéques are alive with young people
the iir in many of them is thick with
the smoke of Red Lebanese, Congo bush
wb oher exotic weeds. Although t
posesion of psychedelics is otherwise
in the Netherlands, ihe city has
granted permission for their use оп cer-
Lain premises, such as а club that used
to be . Scores of female Amer
visitors wander through its many rooms.

nore freaked out by the city council's
liberalism thin they are by any form of
dope.

Hollanders regard
conde; al ions in ather
Western. countries—incliding our own—
as merely aspects of the human condition
Homosexuality, pornography, prostii
tion and drug use are more than ever
part of the human condition in 1971,
and the young women of Holland.
no les than the men, sensibly regard
them as such. If there is something unique

lisome young

rs, calés and dis-

chute

pracices officially

ber

ied. as soc

about Dutch girls its their straighilor-
ward approach 10 all these facts of con-
temporary life. They have discovered

something that should surprise nobody:
that a society does not necessarily disin-
grate if it acknowledges and accepts
itself, not as all the good burghers m
wish it were but as it really is.

a hippopotamus.”

167

PLAYBOY

168

2
ſMexlee, Ile continued jrom page 122)

BEEF TACOS
(Serves eight)

2 Ibs. ground chuck of beef
3 tablespoons salad
14 teaspoon oregano
14, teaspoon ground fennel
j teaspoon ground cumin
„ cup minced onion
1 teaspoon very finely minced garlic
1 о ? teaspoons very finely minced chili
рер
eaypoons powdered mole or chili
powder

Salt, pepper

2 cups beef stock

1 cup tomato purée or tomo sauce

16 heacani-serve taco shells

Heat oil in Large saucepan. Add beef.
Sauté umil meat loses raw color, stiming
frequently with kitchen fork to break
meat apart as much as possible as lor
. Stir in oregano, lennel, cum-
lic, chili peppers, powdered
aspoons salt and Y, teaspoon
pepper. $ about 5 minutes longer.
Add stock and tomato p immer very
slowly % hour or until sauce i thick
nl favors are well blended. Mixture
should not be soup
wre salt if de

in, oi

mole,

cok longer il

necessary. Add red, Heat
tato shells following. directions on pack-
age. Guests spoon beef imo rico. shells

ad top h shredded. lertuce and
cheese from buffet table. To fry your
taco shells, dip tortillas imo hot fac
few seconds to make tortillas pli-
bend in hall and fry in hot fat,
lorlilla edges apart with tongs
or forks until brown and crisp.

PEPPERED SHRIMP
(Serves eight)

um sie shi

3 Ibs, med
Salt, pepper
1 lemon

1 large Span

imp

sh onion.

1 Lage sweet green pepper

1 large sweet red pepper

si cup shelled pumpkin seeds (not
roasted)

1 cup peanut oil

4 huge, fresh, fum, ripe tomatoes,

peeled, seeded and cur into 14
lengthwise: strips

34 teaspoon ground coriander
T

aspom ground mace

poous very finely minced chili

peppers

9 tablespoons fresh lim

4 сир fresh br
Place shrimp in cold water to cover.

Add 2 teaspoons salt and juice of lemon.

e
ed cilantro

j
Dlespoon very finely mir
ad crumbs

› they tell us masturbation is harmless!"

Slowly bring to a boil When wat
turn off flame. Let shrimp re-
in liquid 10 minutes. Remove
shrimp fom liquid, but save 3 cups
liquid for later usc. Pecl shrimp, remove
1 cut in half lengthwise.
Cut onion in half through stem end: cut
crosswise into thinnest possible slices.

Cut t peppers lengthwise in half.
stems, seeds and inner mem-
inest pos-

ng pan over low fame. Heat, stirring
y—they will sputter aud bounce
somewhat during heating—until pumpkin
seeds begin to tum partially brow!
Place pumpkin seeds in blender and
Dlend until pulverized. Heat oil in Lary
saucepan. Add tomatoes, onion, sweet
peppers. thyme, coriander, mace, chili
peppers, pumpkin seeds, lime juice and
Cilantro. Sauté until vegetables аге ten-
der but not brown. Add 3 cups shrimp
stock and bread crumbs. Bring up 10

boil, bur do not boil. Add shrimp. Sim-
mer until shrimp are merely heated
through. Add salt and pepper to taste

Dish is best if made a day before serving
and slowly reheated for the bullet. table.

PORK WITH TOMATOES AND Ci
(Serves six 0 eight)

ANTRO

4 Ibs. pork-loin roast
1{ cup peanut o
0 large, firm, ripe tomatoes. peeled,

seeded aud cat dice
114 cups onions, 14
1 teaspoon very finely minced
2 tablespoons very finely

апо
* tablespoons very finely minced

chili peppers

115 teaspoons ground sage

Salt. pepper

З tablespoons flour

1 quart chicken or beef stock

Remove bone and fat from pork. Cut
into in. cubes, (Meat should not be

lic
minced

cur lage as for a stew.) Heat oil
deep saucepan or stewpot, Add
and simé until meat doses r:

Add tomatoes, onions, garlic, c
chili peppers, sage and cov Spr
generously with salt and pepper. Mix well.
Simmer covered over low flame about 15
tes. Sprinkle flour. over mest and
well. Add stock. Simmer slowly about
hours or ший pork is very tender.
Add salt and pepper if desired. Serve
with rice.

sti

CHICKEN MOLE
rues six lo eight)

9 3b. fyi
stew
an

chickens, ent up as for

P
14 cup sesime seeds

1 cup sliced almonds

14 cup shelled pumpkin seeds

oil

2 heatand-serve laco shells, browned in
oven, or 2 tortillas, fried brown

1 cup onions, small dice

9 teaspoons very finely minced да

16-02. can tomatoes

2 cups dhicken broth

? tablespoons lime juice

1 teaspoon ground cim

1 oz, grated bitter chocolate (optional)

2 to 4 teaspoons very finely minced.

chili peppers

Salt, pepper

Heat 3 tablespoons oil in large skillet
Sprinkle chicken with salt and. pepper
Sauté until light-brown. Add
more oi necessary. Place
chicken er in ge
allow cisse 2 casseroles if neces
v. Place ne seeds, almonds and
pumpkin seeds in a luge dry skille
Heat over а low-to-moderate flame, s
ring almost
^ medium-

non

in a single da
ole
ses

until contents
асе coments of
pan in blender, Blend until. smooth.
Leave almond mixture in blender. Break
taco shells imo small pieces and add 10
with a Ble
ed. Keep mixture in ble
кер

constantly,

nun. P

blender mond mixture.
until pulse

cr. an а sa

"lic

1é onions and p
in 2 tablespoons oil ший onions ar
ten not brown. Add to blende
Adl tomatoes, chicken broth, lime juice
cinnamon, chocolate and chili peppers.
Blend until smooth.

M blend: Il, blending may have
to be done in two batches. Traditional
the rich Пако e appears
this dish, It may be omitted; without
the delicate.

Pour
Cover

оГ chocol:

sace is more
Add зан if desired.
Preheat oven at 375

Bake 1 hour, Place chicken on
arter. Stir sauce in casserole, Thin with
an af desired. Spoon

chocolate,
Taste sauce
over chicken,

casserole

chicken

over chicke

ZUCCHINI, TOMATO AND ЕСС SALAD
(Serves six to eight)

medium o zucchini

d eggs

e hesh, firm, ripe tomatoes,

peeled. seeded and cut into Vin. dice

olive oil

ablespoon. vi

ry finely minced. du
peppers

14 cup minced scallions, white and firm

pat ol green

1 tablespoon very finely minced cilantro
3 tablespoons wine vinegar

alt, freshly ground peppe
Сш zucchini in half lengthwise. Do
not peel. Cut. aosswise into yin. slices.
Boil zucchini in salted water until just
barely tender, 5 minut
well Cut eggs into jin. dice,
tomatoes, zucchini and eggs im salad
bowl. Add oil. To: Add
«Lili peppers, scallions, cilantro, vinegar,

“You little devil! Don't tell me you didn't know the
way lo а man’s heart was through his stomach!"

salt and pepper to taste. Tos well.
Chill until serving tim

ENCHILADAS WITH CHICKEN AND CHEESE
(Serves eight)

3 whole breasts of chicken, boiled
1 Ib. Monterey Jack cheese
2 medium size onions
1 to 2 tablespoons very finely minced
chili peppers
ups sour aream.
pepper
ut oil

414-in, diameter
Remove skin and bones from chicken.
ut meat into lige dice. Pur chicken,
cheese and onions through meat grinder
blade, Add chili. peppers aud
sour cram. Season generously with salt
amd pepper. Blend well. Heat 14 in, oil
in skillet preheated . Place гонах
one by one in hot oil :
seconds, only long enough for tortilla to
become pliable. Dip ead tortilla in
greentomato sauce (recipe follows). Place
pout 214 tablespoons chicken. mixture
on each tortilla and. roll lortillı around
chicken mixture. Place enchiladas open
side down in a single layer in a kuge
shallow casserole or 2 casseroles, Spoon

green tonne suce on top, Preheat oven
at 35Û . Bake 20 minutes or until h
through.

GREED

TOMATO SAUCE,

ns Mexican green tomatoes
зету minced

minced garlic
1 cup diced sweet green peppers

3 tablespoons peanut oil

3 tablespoons flour

E
Uuw2

ns sugar
blespoons very finely minced
chili peppers

н. pepper

Drain tomatoes, reserving juice. Cut
lomatoes into. in. dice. Samé onio
glic and geen peppers in oil until
are tender, not brown. Stir
blending well. Slow!
juice and ton Add
sugar and chili peppers. Season with salt
and pepper. Simmer slowly 20 mi

П
add tomato

cs, blending well

ates

The preceding recipes should put. vou
and your guests in the proper soutlal-
the border spirit and label you an hombre
of di:

169

PLAYBOY

170

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW (continued тот page 78)

stagehands would be on top of us and
h nt would have thrown down his
mangy gauntlet and it would be pistols
t dawn - OF course, if the
show wer might be worth it
пумау. just to sce if there would be a
jump in the ratings—as it were. The sad
fact is, Tm often unaware of how sexy
а guest is until I sec the show at home and
notice she was stunning. As Ive said,
there’s а dor on your mind while you're
doing the show—so much that your
logical urges and responses are somewhat
dulled, I'm sorry to report. Then there are
times Гус thought a lady guest fancicd
me, as the English say, only to find that,
as D went to say goodbye backstage, she
could scarcely place the face. 1t was all an
act. My naiveté is touching, isn't
PLAYBOY: You said a few years ayo that it
difficult to find inte

w ting women to
tervicw. Is this still truc?

САМЕТ: Maybe les so now. but it’s
been a perennial problem with these

shows. I don't know why. There may be
fewer interesting women, but maybe
that’s because they've been oppressed so
long that they haven't had a chance to de-
velop their skills. Or maybe they've bee
oppressed so much. that we don't really
look as hard for interesting women as we
do for interesting men. because interest-
e taking up all the positions
that interesting women could be occupy-
ing. But I do think an interesting wom.
an is much more interesting than an
teresting man. Isn't that interesting?
PLAYBOY: You've joked about women's lib
on your show. Do you really dislike the
movement?

1 dislike the screeching harpies
attached themselves to the
Some people are cursed with
personalities that disqualify them for any
thing except strident movements. and
when one comes along, they tune up and
howl. Did you ever read that really hate
ful essty about women by Schopen
haner? You know, the one where he said

that to call this “broad-hipped, short-
legged race the [air sex is ludicrous"?
And went on to say they have no
appreciation of the fine arts and only

d to dig them in order "to

please"? I expect he’s burned. daily in
«шу over at Lib Central. But. of course.
women have been oppressed, are being
oppressed and are criminally wasted by
being condemned to domestic traps
"They've made me realize this—but 1 can
still joke about the movement in the
same way you сап joke about anything
and still take it seriously

PLAYBOY: Is your wile liber
Kite Millett sense?

САМЕТ: In the Milleit-ant sense? As far
as Tm concerned, she is. She supports
herself as an actress when she isn't re-
tired. She's played just about
classic heroines, most W

ed, in the

and all the good Restoration comedy
roles at Stratford, Connecticut, at Yale
on Broadway, off Broadway and on tele
vision, John Simon said, "she's one of
the few actresses in America with intelli-
gence, beauty and class," or something
like that. He left out “liberated.”
PLAYBOY. Did vou live together before
you got married?

CAVETT: I love t about these inti
mate, persona Т was taken to a
brothel in Paris by Gore Vidal, who was
looking for loc:
life of Marshal Pé
there. P asked her
profession and marry me. as I
ning a career combi he best aspects
of podiatry and fortunetelling. She said
that hers seemed a more honest. trade,
but she told me to keep in touch. А year
ed in New Vork. mar
and we had a
mbers I kept for that
t the Hotel Alamac. Her h

purposc
band was recalled to Paris by a combina-
tion of r tensions and chronic

gastroemeritis and eventually forgot her,
so T married her. That's as much as I care
to rev i рест of the affair,
3s you cam see, а delicate nature
PLAYBOY: According то your network bi-
ography, you met at Yale while she was
п the drama school, played im stock
together and got married after that.
CAVETT: Thar's the version | give out to.
preserve my image.
PLAYBOY: Are vou eve
female fans?

САМЕТ: Yeah. 1 was walking down Broad-
way with another guy who works on the
show and. when we got to the corner,
three very cute, attractive whores said
10 us, Do you want to have some fun
I said, “What did you have in mind?”
And one of them screamed and. said,
"Oh, my God, it’s vou! Can I have your
wtograph?” She said she just came up
from Memphis and couldn't wait to tll
her aunt she'd met me. I wis vaguely
insulted that she never mentioned the
subject agaim. Whores are not
mv only female fans, however.

PLAYBOY: Would vou ever consider ac.
cepting some of these propositions
caven: From a whore?
PLAYBOY: Or from an average.
sional girl.

САМЕТ: Yes, [would
then reject the id
PLAYBOY: Would your wife mind if you
accepted?

CAVETI: You'd have to ask hi know-
ing her as little as 1 do, I suspect she
would.

PLAYBOY: Is it her disapproval 1
stop you?

CAVETI: Is this the part of the
where I'm supposed to say that, since
psychoanalysis, I realize that 1 have a
cock and two balls and I'm not ashamed

proposirioned by

onproles-

consider. папа

would

түс

of it anymore? Well, I сапт say it b
cause I haven't E I
only half subse
PLAYBOY: Does that mean that you have
only one ball and half a cock?

CAVETT: Don't fool with it

PLAYBOY: Have you ever felt the nec
psychotherapy?
CAVETT: Td love to be
hour a day is a lot and Pd rather spend
the time on dance lessons. I've never felt
you put it, but 1 feel
curiosity. I mean Fm not subject to any
debi ig psychic h
awae of. Actually, Td like to w
someone else's analysis, because. 1
the process fascinating. Come to think of
it, maybe I do need ana!ysis—to cure m

ysis

of my voyciristic desire to spy « ple
in Maybe PI put an ad i
Sere nice build, carly

305. likes to watch head shrinking. either
sex. Write Ron: Box 243." Naturally, T
wouldn't use my real name.

PLAYBOY: Could all this he an elaborate
rationalization for avoiding 4
saying you "find the process fascinating"?
CAVEIT: I've worried about that so much,
its sent me into mali
Sori el the pressure, ГИ
pop myself onto a couch tout de suite.
Right now, I'd be taking up some poor
suffering devil's space, 19
PLAYBOY: Speaking of h:
as sen

height?
CAVETT: Shut up! T me
needed some physical comic device. Since
Tm not extraordinarily fat or thin or
leous. 1 decided on shoriness. Though
I grew to be nearly my predicied
final height when I young w
round 5'3", so s might reves
certain tension
y shortness affecti
PLAYBOY: How did th
fect you
САМЕТТ: lt ma п the form
of sweating, $ collar buttons.
bushing until 1 thought my eyebrows
would singe off from the heat. rigid and
ungainly dancing. АН he usual attri
hutes of the poised young man from Ne-
braska. Т wonder what all that tension
comes from. It’s not all sexual. tension.
but a dot of it is. 1 mean, at 14, 1
remember being only partly conscious of
the fact that while trying to improvise
lightheanted banter with Barbara about
Mr. Scott's history class. while shiftin,
from foot to foot, what I really wanted
to do was pull her pants down. But
Э Where? When? Whar would 1 do
n | got them down? The
tot 1 never would—or worse, il
one else might used to send

туму

е you

n no. I feh I

was

PLAYBOY: What was your solution?
= 1 took up magic. lı
Cory answer. but й s

the
peal

wasn't

„ and here we are tod,
Barbara!

PLAYBOY: Because of your height and
your puckish appearance, you've been
described in the. press as "a СІ ie

and аз "someone out of
call those char-

Brown type

САМЕТ: I've never seen myself as Charlie
Brown for a second. I don't know what
the hell people are talking about. James
Brown, maybe.

PLAYBOY: Then you're not vulnerable and
boyish?

caver: Not in my own
that's an indication that I
knowing it.
PLAYBOY: Then
kid from Nebraska?

САУЕТТ: Partly that and partly a lot of
other things.

PLAYBOY: What other thin
CAVETE: 1 can't begin to answer the ques-
tion, “What are you?" Гус never given
the subject a moment's thought and I
think T'd be just ay happy keeping it that
w It ain't my style.

PLAYBOY. Do you agree with those who
1 that you hide your opinions from
public?

cavert: I'd rather not say. No—they're.
vight. I do it constantly, On all subjects.
T just don't see the show as a means to
exploit myself or push my views. I don't
have any terrific sense of mission.
PLAYBOY: Are you afraid to risk offending
people with your attitudes?

САМЕТ: Im not aware of being afraid.
And n les and oy
ions have been explicitly stated. I think.
I could offend just as many people by
ssholc. rdon me. 1

mind. Maybe
m without

you still the innocent

being a bland
shouldn't have said bland.
PLAYBOY: Your muil seems to indicate
t some people consider you a secret
pie. Are you?

caverr How would I know if I were?
And how did you get into my mail?
PLAYBOY: No comment. Have you суст
smoked pot?

CAVE. As 1 told Jerry Rubin on the
show, yes, but I didn't inhale.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever gott
САМЕТ: 1 do not, as they
juana. One would find it h
ve encountered it in one’s

to hi
widely traveled existence. One suspects

onc has,

1d concluded that the exper
able one from
one's own point of view. But that was
long ago and far away, he said. retreating
in behind a veil of mystery.

PLAYBOY: Woody Allen has said that he
nnns on with St. Joseph Baby Aspirin,
Have you ever tried it?

cavent: No, nor would I uy to top his
joke. I know Woody Allen to be pi
cally puritan on the matter of
with his
even to the point of refusin
sunglasses because they produce someone
else's version of the real world. Some
years ago, we both got smashed on half a

п undesi

glass of beer in a German restaurant and
directed a number of highly witty insults
at the host regarding the Sudetenland.

Irs a wonder we weren't found years
later in а meat freezer in Yorkville. We
have never drunk publicly together

ain. My capacity has increased to

where I can handle a boule of beer all by
myself now, whereas he can still get loaded
on a teaspoon of the foam. But then I'm
an inch taller than he is.

PLAYBOY: People
dress so casually ollstage
tively onstage. They feel you
out for television.

CAVETI: Who
do they assume this is the real me?
Maybe how I dress on television is the
real me and this is an
both an act. Do you h
good analyst?
PLAYBOY: Others have writtei
that your һай

also wonder why you
nd so conserva-

copping

e these people? And why

t. Maybe they're
the name of a

to say
s too long. Have you con-
sidered getting it cut shorter?

cavert: My hair is a big drag, Every day
it’s in a different mood or pointing
new direction. As for its length, that is
determined by when I feel like getting a
haircut and not by those who write in
saying T look like a hippie or the earlier
Mery Griffin. You can't judge a book by
its cover, and some people can't even
judge one by its contents. Where this is
all leading is that those who are upset by
any һай may either continue to watch—
as oft y can stand it—or piss off
In an orderly fashion, of course.

PLAYBOY: Arc you sensitive to press criti-
cism?

CAVETI: No, I don't mind the criticism. If
I think the critic is wrong, its a little
g but if 1 think 1 learn.
thing from a critic. 1 may even get
екше out of а certain amount of
knocking. It seems 10 make your image a
little move interesting.

PLAYBOY: What valid criticisms ha
or could be made of you
"Could"

can

ve becn

CAVETT: is easier to answer
There are times when I dont fe
articulate as I'm alleged to be

when 1 let something pass on the show
that should have heen followed up on,
or failed to respond
guest needed at th:
disms that have been made are usu
"dling of some guest who.
critic, I should have shut
up or should have let talk more, de-
pending on the critics prejudice
PLAYBOY: What criticisms would you offer
your competitors?

cavet: God. T'd hate to. So many things
have t0 be considered.

PLAYBOY: What do yon like about them.
then? How about David Frost?

CAVETI: I'm just coming home when his
show is ending, but H must say I like the
end of his show, which is what Tve sec
most often. Гус never seen а whole

David Frost Show, but I saw part of h
interview with Adam Clayton

Powell
h Orson Welles,

xd part af his shaw

have you ever asked. yourself why

no one seems to notice?’

rviewing. He's alert and he picks up
on those things in the middle of an an-
are very casy to let pass. As I
said, 1 let them pass at times and it drives
me nuts.

PLAYBOY: What do you think
ny Carson’s work?

CAVETT: I'm very uncomfortable
about my competition. 1 see noth
wrong with The Tonight Show. M C
theory about how to do the show,
he's been true to that theory, then
пе. I think he's good, I think In
stent and I don't really want to talk

bout John-

PLAYBOY

son

соп;

Why по?
CAVETT: Because I only want to say nice
things about my competitors. There are
things I like and things I don't like about
them, but 1 do there’s any great
virtue in discussing other people's short-
comings. I'd rather discuss my own.
PLAYBOY: Go right ahead
CAVETI: Why did 1 si thi les tempt-
ing to lay out a few in order to appear
modestly self-critical, but it's another of
those things T don’t think much about.
Га rather go to а And why
should I knock myself and let Carson,
Griffin and Frost come off well in this
crview? Are you mad, man?
PLAYBOY: Let's try an oblique approach.
Do you agree with those who think Merv
Grills show tends to be frivolous—that
it lacks serious talk:
CAVETT: That isn’t necessarily bad. Ive
felt that the standard of excellence
is serious wlk, It immediately sounds
pretty dismal. If you told me there was
going to be a good serious talk on telev
sion tonight, T doubt that I'd watch it. If
erious talk, I'M have it myself, Or
can read much
faster than vo ten. АП 1 can say
is that I try to do an entertaining show
that may include more topics than the
concept of entertainment usually encom
passes. Entertainment usually suggests a
comedian or a sketch or a funny inter-
wall good things and things that I
like. On the other hand. а certain
ount of the serious talk I've had on
the show has put me to sleep. OF course,
some of it is more entertaining and often
funnier than the comedian who stands
center stage.
PLAYBOY: Many people feel ihat your
show has а much stronger political orien-
ion than the other talk shows. Do you
try consciously 10 provide substantial po-
ical content?
САМЕТ: No, but then I don't think in
those terms. Certainly not everything we
do is political. Politics isn't the
life and 1 don't th
be concerned w
time, some people
idyllic poetry.
PLAYBOY: Be that as it may, don’t you get
a good deal of political feedback from
your letter-writing audience?
172 Cavet: Yes, because we live in a terribly

movie

neve

Ў during war-
e still going to write

politicized age. But Fm sick of hearing
hom people who uy to pose as repre-
ives of pressure groups and warn
t if I don't get with their kind of
re going to bring me to
icially. 10% very irritating,
use many of them get outraged at
one thing out of a thoustnd things 1 say.
IV's as stupid as condemning a whole art
museum because you don't like one
nting. I wish someone would give
these people a lesson on how to use the
channel selector. Tune me out forever,
re me your mail. Let me make it
that I'm not mad at everyone who
nd complains about some-
ling that mail. I'm
ally about people who not
only say they'll never watch the show
gain, but who go on to say that it
should be en off the air. Unless it's
actua ing the health of the
country, they should admit that somebody
might like
PLAYBOY: Last October, the black Jazz
ıd People's Movement lodged а com-
plaint by disrupting your show. Had
they attempted to meet with you before
confrontation occurred?

CAVETT: I'm a little е on some of it,
because this il on for
le before Eh heyd
disrupted demon-

ard about
and

already
strated
call hom their organizat
they were going to have to disrupt our
Eq you see, We

what night it was going 10 be, since they
had alerted the news department them-
selves, but I didn't know what 1 was
going to do. 1 figured Vd wait and see
what form the disturbance took, maybe
stop tape and then talk to them and try
10 find а way to work it out, As it turned
ош, they got an unexpected сце [rom
Trevor Howard. who happened to say
about New York, "Jazz is gone.” They
blew in unison on deafening police whis-
tles—very painful to the ear So we
stopped tape for 70 minutes and went
into а big mob scene on the stage. People
were running. from group to group and
it was all mixed up. since they weren't
nized and we weren't very

show

y unpreced:
give them t
later, but I'd
everybody who di
isn't going to get on the air,

PLAYBOY. The Jazz and Peopie's Move-
ment claimed that true black jazz
been arbitrarily excluded from. American
television. Do you feel it’s your respon
bility to make sure that all elements in
society are represented?

CAVErT: Heavens, no! I've never thought
about my responsibility to society. I just
don't think that way. 1 had six students
on right after the Cambedia-Kent State
ghastliness because it seemed right at the
time and I resented the idea that a cer-

med. We eventually did
one show

tain image of the campus was being used
for unfeeling political purposes. But don't
come to me for theories on my respon-
bility to society. Or heavy political rap-
ping. When I shocked some of my fans by
telling Jerry Ru politics bored my
ass off, I meant it in the sense that the
subject has become tiresomely obligatory.
It’s fashionable, and T resent the [act that
some show folk feel they have to rap on
politics to show that they're responsible
members of the community. If they know

what theyre talking about, like Robert
igh does, for example. fine. Othe
spare us. Politics, | subject

avdled, can be endlessly fascinating
even to me, a performer who knows he
isn't a commentator or the nation's con-
science, But when the people who used
10 come on the talk shows to tell funny

experiences about geuing their dog
through Customs feel they have to do a
political number, when you've already

had the subject handled nicely by John
Kenneth Galbraith the night befo
yeccch! In other words, because I've һай
some superb political guests on. 1 don't
want the show to become wh
people who can be fascinating on other
subjects feel they have to discuss the
emerging Republican majority in order to
be popular with me or my audi
PLAYBOY: Who do you think uses politics
in that way?

one

to single anybody out. I just doit want
every other actor
ing on and

prove they're *
PLAYBOY: Yoi

com

ve said on the show that no
one thought much about polities wh
you were in college. What were the bui
ing issues of the day оп your campus:
CAVETI: There were none. It really was a
totally wanquil time.

PLAYBOY: How about the McCarthy h
ngs?

cer. Those I remember dimly as very
exciting ne would come

He's really giving it to
and others gett
Do
see. c

ing.
You
s very slim and 1 hadn't
- When T was
ember thinking that
row up and go lo fight

rious and si
he's Hitler?
cwspaper v
the slightest
grade sch
cverybody will

r hometown

on Iwo Jima, jux like they did at the
nurday matinee. I couldn't imagine life
without the Second World W. Then,

when the War ended, everything seemed
vely placid to me. 1 got through
high school knowing vaguely that left
and right had something to do with the
nich ү ment.

PLAYBOY: How do you decide whether or
not you'll invite an adver
with a political guest?
САМЕТТ: It depends on the guest. Some
are better unopposed. Other times you

rth wasn't at all like the Moon.”

ч
E
=

PLAYBOY

174

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easy thing to providi for
good television. And if you match two
brilliant people, you might also 1
something in the dash.
PLAYBOY. Do you feel any obli
challenge incorrect or misleading м
ments made by your guests?

CAVETI: Jesus knows you can't clarify and
distill everything that might be inter
preted im а certain way by a certain
segment of the public, Everybody watches
the show with his own thermometer stuck
into it. АП I can say is 1 do it sometimes
and not others. If anyone has а workable
rule on this. 1 wish they'd send it to me.
PLAYBOY: Why were Administration offi-
cials allowed to appear unopposed on your
show?

CAVETI: The 90-minute show with Mitch-
h and Garment? That
an odd way. Back when
we started. 1 had some Fridays off ii
the schedule, so we invited some unusual
hoss, including Herb Klein, to sub-
stitute for . Then I decided not to
take those nights off because of the
show's newness. I think the Administr
tion felt we promised, 1 felt we
hadn't, and they suggested this alterna-
tive, and my producer said OK—but
only if they would bring Agnew or
Mitchell with them

PLAYBOY: How do you feel you handled
them?

caverr: Consider
so much of wl
did

g thar 1 d
nd for, I thi

agree with

САМЕТ: | mean 1 did what J always try
ake the guests comfortable, keep
g as possible, let the guests
be seen for what they arc and get a
laugh whenever possible. When Mitchell
said that in a year or so, а study would
be completed proving marijuana danger-
ous, I asked in what sense it's a study if
he already knows the outcome. I could
have gone on to say that there are three
possibilities: You know the outcome, in
which case you're wasting our money
continuing the study, or you're stating as
a fact what you hope the outcome will
be, or you've influenced the outcome.
But | thought the point had been made.
PLAYBOY: In retrospect, would you rather
have had them on with one or more
spokesmen for the opposition?

cavert: It might have made а more in-
teresting show. But you have to be carc-
ful with "clash" shows With a group
like that, you may get a lot of overlap-
ping sentences that you can't hear. And
sometimes you hate to go for the obvious
conſion € Democrats the only
people opposed to Republicans? Com-
munists might also oppose their position,
or people who think all politics is cor-
rupt, or the Minutemen, or four poets.
What's weird is that I had a later show

on which J. F. Stone, Ramsey Clark and
Joe Califano appeared in response to the.
Adn tration, and afterward. furious
wires came in saying, “We demand equal
time for Republicans!” And the Demo-
crats had been on only for half as long
as the Administration. You can't win.
PLAYBOY: Do you think the Nixon Ad-
ministration is unnecessarily uptight about
crime and political dissent?
САМЕТ: I'm afraid I'm very bad with that
kind of question. Does “unnecessarily
uptight” imply that there is such a thing
as "necessary" uptightness? And how do
crime and political dissent go together?
And even if you do tell me what the
question means, I cin only answer with
some generalization, since Im not an
itics, and generalizations
s suspect as politicians and,
п be counted on only
Would you like to sce a

like politicians, c:
part of the time.
card trick?
PLAYBOY: We just did. Are there any
generalizations you can accept?

CAVETT: Yes, two, 1 try to obey the gold-
en rule and avoid salmon croquettes.
PLAYBOY: A great deal of conflict has been
generated by those who accept the gen-
cralization that political violence is justi-
fied when all other forms of dissent have
been unsuccessfully tried. Would you
ce with that?

caver: I can't think of any circum-
which I'd bomb someone else's

propert
PLAYBOY: Can you sec why others do
CAVETT: Yes, at the risk of being misun-
derstood, I can sec why people resort to
violence when it seems that nothing else
can produce change. I feel it's wrong,
though, because [ doubt that in most
cases every means short of violence has
been tried. "There's also the danger that
lives will be lost in these acts of violence
't know anyone who can
ny cause is worth killing for.
I know you can feel very strongly that it
may be justified, but T can't shake off
that last bit of doubt. How many lives is
the freedom of Southeast Asia worth?
Maybe nonc.

PLAYBOY: Would you like to see a revolu-
n in this country?

САМЕТ: I don’t know. Га like to see a lot
t's so fatuous
it’s hardly worth getting into. It's so easy
to say. Everybody knows there's а lot of
injustice and we'd like to see it changed.
PLAYBOY. Why is it [atuous to say those
things?

САМЕТ. It’s impossible to discuss these
great matters quickly and spontaneously.
Thought is a very difficult, slow and
r process to most people, in-
duding me, There are too many catch
phrases. What do we mean by law and
order? Does order mean the same thing
Jaw does? Do we want our laws en
forced? Yes. Do we think they're some-

justly enforced? Yes. Are the
"derstood by the people who
nforce them? Yes. Sometimes. Its just
100 casy to generalize.

PLAYBOY: Are such statements any less
faruous when spoken by our elected
leaders?
CAVETT: No, it's just as easy for Nixon to
be fatuous as it is for me. Easier, in fact.
I can say exactly what 1 mean, but
President rarely can. He has so much
more power and so much less Ireedom,
PLAYBOY: Were you impressed by Mr.
Nixon when you met him at the White
House?

CAVETT: If you mean jolted at the
stant of meeting, no. Fd been around
him before, so I didn't get that sudden

kick most people experience when they
see a face that’s been part of their lives
for many years. He was on the Paar show

once when I worked there and I'd seen
him in the studio. He's not a very charis-
matic figure to me anyway, so 1 didn't
get the jolt I felt when I first saw John
Kennedy. I saw Mr. Nixon in the re-
ceiving l
doing the show that night. I told him it
was Joe Namath. He said, “How're his
knees?” I said, "Not too good,” and we
ked about Матау legs for a bit. 1
did scc what they mean when they say
he's more appealing in person than oi
television. He seems to take some sort of
starch. pill before going on TV. It always
reminds me of an amateur actor who's
trying to play Seriousness. His voice is
even affected by it. But in person, that
isn't there and you're aware of how he
must not trust himself to go on TV as he
is. Then I spoke to Mrs. Nixon and to
Nicol Williamson, who was the ente
tainer that evening. 1 was standing around
for а while after that and a lot of middl
aged ladies rushed over and said. “We
сате tonight just to sce you. Our chi
dren wou't let us go home without your
autograph.” I felt very funny autograph
ing at the White House. 1 wonder if
there isn't some sanction . des
not
PLAYBOY: You said ou the show that your
wife once saved Nicol Williamson's Ше
How?
САМЕП: He was bombed one night and
decided 10 go swimming in a d
cove and she went in and pulle
out. 1 held the light. We'd all been to
several waterfront bars and someone
thought it would be cute to go swim-
ming in the pitch dark, which is a stupid
thing to do in the oce
cherished part of your anatomy, cither to
a rock or to an irritated seadwelling
creature. Suddenly, there was Broadway's
current Hamlet, who swims like a lead
piano, foundering in the briny. I
grabbed a flashlight and ordered my wife
into the water—she swims and dives like
porpoise—assuring her I'd run for help

e and he asked me who was

ast

175

PLAYBOY

176

if she got in trouble, She hauled him
out and earned the unwitting gratitude
ergoer. I ran to the house
hot tea for myself, having
il from the cold flashlight

1 you choose a secluded

nd? Were you reacting against the
п you spent living in the heart of Los
when you wrote for Jerry Lewis?
really. I lived in one of those
places with twostory apartments around
the pool, with the palm trees lighted pink
amd blue and y something nature
never thought of: but I didn't find myself
turning into a piece of cheese or getting
weird from living in California. I used
10 love driving around and 1 hung around
Р punt Studios. I used to go out on
the dot and walk the old Western. street
and the oll New York street

PLAYBOY: Do you po 10 a lot of movies?
САМЕТ: Yes, and 1 wish I could start
cening them at home. If 1 go out to a

screening. I have to tell people what I
thought of the film right afterward and I
don't like that. And if J go to a regular
theater, 1 go ius nding in line
because so many people talk t0 me. I 1
get there early, 1 feel like Marie Antoi-
nette being led past the people waiti
behind the ropes.
PLAYBOY: It sounds as if you're not
happy about being a celebrity
САМЕТ: Well. 1 don't like being
nized that much. At times, it's pleasant.
to be recognized, but other times it’s a
pain in the ass, especially when you're
walking along and you've managed to
forget for а moment what it is vou do.
PLAYBOY: Would you like to forget your
job for a while?
САМЕТ: It is а ratrace. You finish one
show and the next one hits you in the
face. Like everyone else, I wonder if I'm
getting enough out of life. In a sense, it's
imiting job, because I'm con

“Oink, oink!”

it's less limiting than the drudgery most
people have to do.
PLAYBOY: You're also paid well [or your

work. Are you a millionaire yet?

САМЕТ: 1 don't know. 1 might be. It
doesn't allect me much опе way or the
other. T don't think about money very
often. 1 was never miserable when T
didn't e it and Im not that ecstatic
now that I do.

PLAYBOY: How do you spend your money
now that you've got so much of i
CAVETT: ] don't have any expensive hab-
its. My wife doesn't dig jewelry and furs
and I don't. either. I like to eat well.
which in New York is expensive. But
there just aren't that many material things
I've got the hots for. Aside from the major
portion of my income going to keep the
Pentagon humming. I don't know where
the rest goes. When a show-bus y
your expenses seem to rise at a
agingly corresponding rate, It's un
or all 1 know, I may have to hit
you lor а five for dinner

PLAYBOY: How long do you think you
can keep doing the show?

CAVETT: I don't think 1 w
years doing this.
PLAYBOY: How
CAVETT: 1 don't think Td want to do it
that long, either. I think I'd go berserk.

canny.

t 10 spend 20

about nine yeas, Jike

ways that this isn't.
PLAYBOY: In what ways?

САМЕТ: 1 can't tell you for s
do one. The obvious superiority of mov
ies is that you do something well and i
there for ages to come. This must be
ularly satisfying to the actors in
ag film:
PLAYBOY: How will you know when you've
1 enough of being а talkshow hos

or another. Certainly its quite а chal-
lenge to be interested, charming, witty
1 presentable five nights a week. 1
don't know what the proper perspective
on this job is. but PH try to sum it up
for you. I feel I have опе of the most
difficult. jobs in America, though hardly
the most important, I suppose it takes an
outsize ego to to such а
position, and at the sime time a certain
tempering of it to do the job attractively
1f you try to concentrate on the fun of it
nd forget the unbelievable sirain and
tension that gocs into making it look
like fun—il you don't worry yourself sick
over the fact that you have to fill 450
minutes of air time every week. during
any one of which you might commit
some humiliating boo-boo im lont of
millions, a blunder so embarrassing that
you won't be able to go out of the house
for weeks—you can almost enjoy it. 1 say
almost. Whats on the Late Show tonight?

RADICALISM/FLACKS

in the process of producing and distrib-
uting goods These are the teachers,
doctors, lawyers, writers, social workers,
scientists, artists, public administrators
and media personnel. Over the past few
decades, an increasing proportion of
these people, because of their profession-
al roles, economic levels and exposure to
liberal education, has come lo be criti
cal of certain key cultural values and to
favor certain basic social and political
reforms. Abo, college-cducated women
have readily absorbed progressive per pee
tives on child rearing and education,
while asserting their right to a les sub-
ordinated position in the family. The first
student activists of the Sixties were the
children of brainworkers

The subculture of campus intellec
tuals, which began to emerge at т
schools in the late Fifties and early
ties, at first had the look and feel of
bohemian youth groups of previous eras.
On most campuses. it red small
and peripheral to the prevailing student
mood—a mood that was very cool to
abstract ideas and social concerns, highly
concerned with "making it," and that ex-
pressed itself through collegiate fun and
games. But within a few years, campus
intellectuals had begun to invent identi
ties and cultural modes that, although
fluenced by tra bohemi:nism
nd radicalism. were fundamentally new.
Out of their profound estrangement
from the pop-teen culture of the Fifties,
they created а new music, a new way of
presenting onesel{—a new way of being
young. This synthesis of a de
popular cultur ther амо
development, for until the
antgarde and popular cultures h
been radically separated and mutually
hostile.

When black students
gan their dramatic si
carly February 1960, the
pact on many student intellectuals was
tremendous, the sitins, unlike the
old politics of the center and the left,
suggested a way of acting on one's values
that was both uncompromising and hu-
mane. The New Left that emerged out
of the intellectual campus subculture in
the carly Sixties hoped to create a new

the South be-
ign in
ionwide im-

camp

kind of politics, in which the aim was
not to get power for oneself but to
disperse power, so that ordinary men
could make the decisions that affect their

lives.

But the question for the Seventies i
less to understand this original New Left
than to come to grips with the fact that
millions of young people now identify
themselves with symbols of alienation and
opposition to the prevailing culture, the
dominant authorities and conventional
adulthood. Furthermore, we have to face

(continued from page 108)

the fact that the student body generally
identifies itself as a self-conscious move
ment of political opposition, and this
now contains a fast-growing, avowedl

revolutionary wing. The uniqueness of

the carly New Leftists did not isolate
them from their peers, but, rather, per-
mitted them to sce clearly and react crea
tively to а political and cultural crisis
that affected vast. numbers of other kids.

nd poverty and degrading
nd to provide the material basis for
a decent life for all men. But it is
dominated by a culture and a sociopoliti-
cal order that won't use this capacity,
and instead turns it to anti-human ends.

Our industrial apparatus vas developed,
iu large part, because of the enormous
value our culture has placed on individual
competition for material success and sta-
tus through single-minded devotion to
work. But the major problem posed by
dvanced technology is no longer that of
further economic growth, but the dispos-
al of an enormous surplus And this
technology requires not individual entre-
preneurship but organized, imerdepend-
ent, cooperative activity on a massive

physical Ja-

“Don't get dressed yet, Miss Collins
nol through hiring you!

scie. However, all of our institutions
seem 10 operate at cross purposes with
one another, and lack internal coherence
The mass media, for example, encourage,
stimulate and explo while
the schools emphasize traditional self-
control. Many in the society, raised i
the old culture and still finding it valid,
feel deeply threatened, and politi
compete 10 play upon the fears gen
ated by cultural disturbances,

Such cultural incoherence poses the
gravest problem for the young. They
have to establish stable identities, but
they сап find no convincing guidelines
or models outside of themselves. The
youth culture that has sprung up in the
past decade сап be seen, then, as a
constructive effort by young people to
try to develop the values and forms of a
workable alternative to the societal model
that is disintegrating. Vast numbers of
youth have been attracted to the alienat
ed life styles and forms of cultural oppo-
sition in а quest for meanings and values
that have a chance of surviving in an age
of "post-scarcit

Technological development, mean-
‚ offers the opportunity for a short
er work week, for freedom from menial
and gr

hedonism,

nd from

177

PLAYBOY

178 richt with

many other forms of work regimentation
Bet in our society tion is seen as
threat to economic security; it's already
been especially devastating to millions
who lack the skills and education 10
fill the specialized jobs that technologic
advances require, A vast welfare system
develops to lock people of rural o
wo impoverished dependency
sands of ghetto youth are unemployable
Instead of having more leisure time
lions must moonlight to stay ahe
intl At the other end of the ссо-
С workers and
nerease in
burcauciatization, impersonality and seg-
imentation, while factory workers face
creased economic insecurity and even
more intense work pressure.

For many college students, being born
fluence has meant that they are no
idrum,
10 get

autom

ion.

longer willing to submit to hu
jobs in

bureaucratized order
ahead. Also. fc : € com-
plaints about boredom and. competitive
pressure in school, students are deeply
aware that undergraduate life offers con-
siderable opportunity to control. one's
time, to experiment with new ways of
living. to have intimate friendships, to
he expressive, playful. creative and re-
layed. Technological development both
requires and makes possible such a time
for privileged youth and yet, in our
ty. it denies the possibility of con-
g to live freely once one enters the
force. Vet young people sense intu
itively that the liberation they have tasted
in youth could be extended throughout the
life cycle and to people of all social levels.

‘The most advanced technology in our
society is devoted to the manufacture of
weaponry. The result of military prog-
ress has been to make war, for the first
time in human history, absolutely irra-
tional lor the pursuit of any national
goal or interest. Yet our society spends as
much on making and. preparing for war
аз all other countries on earth combined,
and much of that expenditure is devoted
10 producing ever more efficient means
of mass killing. There is general aware-
ness on the campus that much of the
thrust behind the huge military budget
derives from the economic interest and
of the military-industrial complex.
to human survival and the
distortion of national priorities created
by technological militarism converges
with the immediate personal tyranny of
the draft, And for the past seven ye:
these attitudes toward militarism have
heen enormously int 1 focused
by the war in Vietnam. I needn't dwell on
the long list of reasons for the virtually
unanimous opposition to the war among
American students. Suffice it to say that
for millions of straight, conventional
young people, the war contradicts all
that they have been taught to believe is
America, Further, given the

т»,

inetd

establishment's definition of America's
world role, young people have little
doubt that more Vieinams lie ahead, i
this war should by some miracle be
brought to an end. When John Е. Ken-
dy left the Service in 1945. he wrote i
lis notebook that “War will exist until
thar distant day when the conscientious
objector enjoys the same reputation. and
prestige that the warrior does today." О)
the Ame mpus, that “distant day”
is here and it is fast arriving even withi
the Army. Whether the young Kennedy
was right about the consequence, only
time will tell.

What, then, the c
activism? Our society
presently constituted have come into
conflict with their technological base. On
the one hand, technological development
cessitated a vast system ol mass
tion that has resulted in a
new kind of worker—one who has been
wained to criticize the culture and to work.
to solve soi problems. The young
who have been raised in brainworker
milies, or who aspire to be brainworkers,
find themselves in considerable opposition
10 many cultural traditions.

Mass higher education. brought. these.
young people into contact with millions
of their fellows. Never before have so
many people sharing common problems
been associated for such long, concen-
trated periods. before have so
many people from the ages of 17 10 2
heen so segregated from other age groups.
‘Technological development, morcover,
has created an unprecedented system of
mass Communication, which enables the
youth culture to spread rapidly.

Technological development has also
са new levels of affluence for many.
lions of college youth, And with
s come, for many, a restless
uneasiness with materialism, striving,
competition and self-denial. The culture
that was once tightly integrated. around

ses of student
md culture as

Never

cr
m
aMucnce h

ibition, work and self-control has be
mm 10 fall apart. Institutions clash
Parents waver between indulgence and

Young people sense the human
ent in abundance, but can

find
such
one
ind find а glimpse of what

g to
to experiment
more

liberating culture and humane social or-
der might he like.
Society seems unable 1o distribute.

affluence so that all may taste it. It seems
unable to use technology so that all may
find decent jobs. It seems unable то put
technology to work to solve urban prob
lems or to preserve the natural environ
ment. It seems best able to use technology
only for wasteful private consumpti
ог lor production of weapons of mass
destruction. Tt promises kids self-fulfill-
ment and progress, but presents the rich
ones with the draft and suburban m:

laise, and the poor ones with the draft
and urban chaos. Having created the m:
terials for liberation, our society creates
the conditions for destruction.

So the youth once libe
desperate. OK, you may say, m:

ed and.
be the

kids are right about the nature of the
crisis, but why are they so goddamned
impatient? Can't they see that it takes
time to solve these problems? Why do
they talk about revolution, about tearing
down the universi bout blowing up
everything? Last fter the Cam

bedi vasion t State kill-
ings and several police occupations of
Isla Vista, in Santa Barbara where 1 now
teach, T asked about. 100 students to out-
line for me a history of the next 50 years.
There was a lot of agreement in this
group and the nature of the consensus
chilled my spine. The overwhelming
response was that in the next 50 vears,
probably less, we would either be living
in a Lascist police state or we would have
had a nuclear war with China, or both.

A revolutionary temper and a spirit of
violent resistance has grown amon
Young people becuse an increasin:
number have no confidence in the possi
bility of progressive reform. Most stu-
dents whom 1 know are aware that it will
take time to deal with the fundamenta
issues that confront. America. They are
also aware that powerful corporate, mil
itary and political imerests arc threatened
by any changes that would bring tech
nology under conuol for fr
uses. They are further aware that millions
ans feel profoundly scared. by
the cultural changes that are coming from
у e оГ these factors
drives young people to despair. The
mood of despair and resistance stems
from the fact that well-meaning adults
ablished agencies of reform seem
unable or unwilling to take the actions
that are needed to move society in a
hopeful direc

ion. In the past ten. years,
stude s have dreamed that Jiber-
al Democrats, labor unions, churches.
foundations, John. Kennedy, Martin Lu-
ther King, Jr. Robert Kennedy and E.

vd effective reform. Such i
and individuals have been
nellecimal. irresolute, corrupted. ог de-
suoyed. The un es in particular
have been more responsive by far to the
requirements of the existing system than
to the needs of students and others who
mest ange i
of youth is especially intensified when rc-
form efforts, such as the McCarthy cam-
paign or the McGovern end-the-war
amendment, appear to win wide public
backing largely as a result of the activity
оГ youthful supporters, and then are
jected by those who claim to represent
the people. These instances make it look.
n
daims.

mation tow
stiunions

as if the official political system is

basic violation of its democra

The tum toward violent resis
the police, and toward bombing
other property destruction, is partly the
result of despair over conventional poli
tics, but its roots are primarily elsewhere
I believe. First, it’s clear that the original
brainworker constituency of the New
Left was pacifist by nature and. philoso-
phy. Moreover, most people who expend
their daily energy largely in political
conflict, as veteran student activists have
done, are most unlikely to resort to vio.
lence, regardless of their violent rhetoric
Our observations at Santa
where young revolutionaries
down a branch of the Bank of America
and where there have been a number of

Metaxa makes
a miserable
artini.

very serious and heavy confrontations ч
with police, suggest that it's prima p w
the newly radicalized. previously apolit AN NA x
cal kids, whose energies are not devoret у M
to meetings, mimeographing and Marx
im, who are most ready for violence
After ай, most Americans aren't pacifists.
and neither are most young people—and
most Americans, such as President Nixon,
believe that violence may be justified | BS У 4 j y
where one's basic interests arc at stake
Ir appears hat once these ordinary
American kids have lost faith in the
fairness of the police—once they believe
that, in fact. the police forces and the le-
gal system are organized against them
they will use force to try to stop the
police from carrying out their aims.
This loss of confidence in the legal
system and in law-enforcement agencies
stems, of course, from instances of severe
police attacks on unarmed demonstrators
during the past several years and fom
the harassment of Jong lire! youth re
sulting from efforts to enforce narcotics
Jaws, The legal system has come to seem
almost totally illegitimate to millions of
young people, who feel that a

n organized

pros
is now under way. The belief that this is
so is a natural result of hearing the public
statements of people such as the Vice
President and the Attorney С ` ME mAXP
bout the police minder of Black S
ader Fred. Hampton, about the 3
killing and wounding of student demon

strators on а number of cimpuses, of ONG
hearing the public declarations of various Sniſter it as fine brandy.

police organizations and of observing the It's rich without hatshness.
public trials of radical and militant black. ч à 4 Sipit ds liqueur.
leaders. It's clear, however, that the over- DIEN s Ius smooth But not sticky.
whelming majority of students will ve > 4
spond with cager enthusiasm to fresh 1 ele ei Then blend its
evidence of positive possibilities for ` warm Aegean flavor with other joyous mixers.
change within the system, Most students x deus Manhattans.
are coming to see that the student move БИЛЕР Sours end Stingers!
ment, to realize its aims, must be able to Alexanders that taste really great.

transcend itself and take root and grow Уак рле mare
in the larger society. У

I believe there are three ways that М Please write for a Free
this cin happen——aud, in certain respects, : Metaxa Creative Guid
Metaxa, Box 432,
Maspeth, New York
11378.

am of repression of blacks and youth

learning

Panther

is happeni
First, by the expansion of youth cul
ture and gener:

tional consciousness 10

Greek S
Importec to the U.S, sole
Austin, Nichols б Co.. Inc., N.Y.

noncollege youth. Already, irs dear that
the youth culture has become a force in
many high schools and within the military
\ growing number of young blue:
white-collar workers are attracted to it. An
important development of the past year or
two has been the establishment of the
youth culture in college towns and certain
big-city neighborhoods. In these commu.
nities, students and ex-students along with
nioncollege youth and young adults, self-

and

consciously suive 10 give the movement

an olf-campus. territorial base, in which
cultural experiment can be initiated and
protected. political consciousness and or
geniznion cm develop and revolution-
y aspirations can be made real.

Second, by means of what German stu-
dent radicals call “the long march through
the institutions of This march

n in the universities. It involves

society."
has bc
direct challenge to
tunes and elitist practices of public and
private bureaucracies and professions by
those who work in them. Examples
would be the organiz:ition of working
journalists for greater voice in a newspa-
per's editorial policy, or the organization
of medici workers in a hospital for
egalitarian medical care, or the organiza-

undemocratic struc-

tion of Government. employees to protest
the war. One of the most dramatic steps

s been the emer

in the long march 1

180 gence of the women'sliberation move-

men, for women's lib o
only to demand the hiri
en at equal. pay for equ;
only to demand facilities such as day
саге centers to enable women to pursue
carcers. but more funda

nizes not
of more wom-
work, and. not

mentally chal
lenges the basic cultural assumption that.
men should play the decisive occupation-
al, political and familial roles, I am
personally convinced that the more com.
pletely the connection between. sex and
power сап be broken, both within the
family and in the society at large, the
likely it is that we can hi
culture and a character structure that per
mits cooperation and love to prevail. Fur-
ther, the

еа

women sliberation. movement
challenges the cultural assumption that
the nuclear family is the only
raise children and express muure sexual
ity. Communal households and child-rear-
ing an

free both men and. women and may well
be preferred to the isolated nuclear fami
ly in the future; women's lib cl
us to test the future

way to

gements offer concrete ways to

ni
lenges
now, as well as
forcing us to find ways to remove the
subordination, ind
that women inescapably experience,
Third, it is conceivable that a new
political panty will emerge from the
youth movement—one that will seek to
win constituencies in all strata and age
groups. Though there are few signs that

nity and dependence

there

such a development is in the offir
are sound reasons for believing that such
а party could have a bright future, For
one thing, in five years, nearly half the
population will be 3
and a substantial proportion of this group

voting u, 5 or less,
will have been to college during these

y
we have scen, the prospects for local politi-

us of student nulicilizntion, Second, as

cal power based on this constituency are
bright in university communities and
youth ghetto areas. Third. the brain-
workers themselves by 1975 are likely to
constitute 15 percent of the total work

force—13,000.000 people, of whom more
than a third will have been to college
during these yc
10 conceive of a political program. that
could actually unite the interests of hard:
hats and long Hair program rooted in
the premise that technology must be con
trolled by and for the people and put to

ıs. Fourth, it is possible

human. usc

ome of our le

ding politicians ave
fond of giving us the choice between
repression. We
neither, if ordinary people of all ages,
races and regions come 10 sec their com-
mon

archy or need have

interest in a rational social order
that is in tune with our vast technologi-
cal capacity—and with the universal hu-

man aspiration for self-rcalization.

[y]

SHARK! eosina tom ме

severed an artery and he had died. Geoff
Corner was the reigning junior champion

Since that time, Bruce has never dived
Aldinga Beach. "We're nice to Bruce.”
Rodney Fox says, teasing him. "We al
ways decide we'll dive somewhere else

because he can't dive Aldinga with his
heart and soul.”

Bruce Farley is an honest man with a
web humorous bony face. “I haven't
dived anywhere heart and soul." he

“since Brian got hit in 1961."

At noon today
boat. the Sea Raider, brought
word diat an H-foot white of 1300 pounds

the expedition’s swift

auxiliary

had been hooked at Point. Donington,
where the Saori had anchored two nights
before. Psychologically, this news was
painful, but the water clarity at. Point
Donington is awlul and we could nor
have worked there. And at least it was

proof that the species was nor extinct
In a letter to a friend this moming,

Valerie wrote that no shark had been

bur that she expected а 12- or

no
13-footer to mrn up at about two к.м. At
4) Peter Lake, the expedition still
photographer, and Lu MeKechnie, as
sistant to Jim Lipwomb
photographer, siw a fin in the slick,
some 50 yards behind the ship: The spell

the surface

152)
was broken. We dragged on diving suits
ind went on watch. bur the fin had sunk

from view in the still sea. A half hour
passed, and more. Then. perhaps ten
feet down off the port beam. a feetin

brown shadow brought the sex to lile

Suspended from a buoy, a salmon was
floated out behind the boat 40 lure the
shark closer. Once it had fed at the side
of the boat, it would be
then, perhaps, the engine could be start
ed and the cages swung the side
without scaring it away, Delicate structures
barred with light aluminum, the photog
raphers cages are six feet tall by six feet
long by three and a half feet wide, with
tanks around the roof
a central housing for the mech
1 movements

ed underwater

les Grutious,

over

heavy lotation
vim and
anisms that control its ve ie
Ordinsnily, they
through a door in one side, but in South

are eme

Australia, they were entered always from
а skill, rough a small haich in the cag

rool

An hour passed before the shark was

seen again, This time a glinting rusty

back parted the surface
as the dunk made

tail and dorsal
high out of the water
its turn imo the рай
blade and a thrash of water as the
took the salmon

ute after the fist sighting. Stan Water

great wavering
shark

two hours to the min

man cried. "Holy sweet Jesus!”
strong epithet for this mild-spoken man
Even the Australians were excited by the
massive shank, wy as they would t0 ap
pear calm. "Makes other sharks look like
little frisky pups, doesn't it” cried Val
crie with pride. Then it was gone again.
Along the reef, a hundred. yards
the sea lions were playing tag, their sleek
heavy bodies squirting dean out of the
water and parting the surface again with
ош a splash, and a string of cormoran
beating in out of the

a very

way

oblivious. came
northern blue

Gimbel, annoyed
the shark. came running from the bow
he did nor have long to wait. Fre
deckhonse roof. | could see the shadow
rising toward the bait. “There he is" 1
said. and Rodney yanked at the picce of
пуй the shark in
closer to the ship. Jim Lipscomb, beside
me, was already shooting when the great

that he had missed

salmon 10% bring

fish breached. spun the sca awash and
lunged after the skipping salmon tail: we
stared into its white oncoming mouth
“My God!" Gimbel shouted, astounded
by the sight of his first white shark. ‘The
conical snout and the tenible shearing
teeth and the dark eye like a hole we

all in sight. raised dear out of the water
Under the stern, with an audible whush
the shark took a last snap at the bait

then wheeled away; sounding, it sent the

p
VM x

A lotto drink without drink

> ^

ing a lot.

PLAYBOY

382 |

Start smoking Lark.
You see, modern science uses a
special type of charcoal to clean
air. Lark's Gas-Trap filter is made
from the same type of charcoal to
clean cigarette smoke.
This is because most of cigarette
smoke is gas. And certain of these
gases are harsh tasting. These.
. gases can give cigarettes a taste
that's downright smoggy.
What about Lark? Well, thanks
toits special charcoal granules

our Gas-Trap filter is specially good
at reducing these gases. How good?
Better than any Other Popular Brand,
bar none.

So stop smoggy taste. And start
smoking Lark.

skiff spinning with a terrific whack of its
great tail, an omi boom that could
have been heard а half mile away.

For a split second, there was silence,
and then Lipscomb gave a mighty whoop
of joy. "I got it!” he yelled. “Goddamn
it, I got it" There was a bedlam of
relief, then another silence. "Might knock
that cage about a bit,” Rodney said
1%, hauling in the shred of fish; he
thinking of the baits that would be su
pended in the cage to bring the shark
close to the cameras. Gimbel, still staring
at the faceless water, only nodded.

Just after five, the shark reappeared.
The late sun glistened on its dorsal as it
cut back and forth across the surface,
worrying a dead fish from the linc.
There was none of the sinuous effect of
lesser sharks; the tail strokes were s
and short like those of swordfish, giant
tuna and other swift deep-sea swimmers.

This creature was much bigger than the
big oceanic sharks off Durban, but for a

white shark it was not enormous. Est
mates of its length varied from II feet,
s plays it safe and.
und aid Valerie) to 14 fect
(Pet alongside
skiff and I'm certain it was at least a
long—Lm certain of it"). Much mo
impressive than the length, however. was
the mass of it, and the speed and power.
“It doesn't matter what size the bastards
Rodney said. “A white shark over
© feet long ix bloody dangerous.”

The day was Lue. In the westering
sun, a hard light silvered the water rush-
ing through the reef, and nearer, the blue
facets of the sea sparkled in cascades of
tiny stars. More out of frustration. than
good sense, we decided to iry filming the
shark ely rather than lure it to
the baits alongside, in the hope of keep-
ing it nearby overnight. The motor was
started. up and the cages swung over the
side, and the 1 disappcared be-
neath the surface. But the great shark had
ud did not return.

By da ıd exceeded 25 knots,
and went quickly to 30, 40—a whole gale
rd one in the mor
better. On deck, I lay
pless, every litle while to
check the position of the light on Dan-
gerous Reef. The Reef is too low to
make a windbreak, and even close under
the dec, the Saori tossed and heaved
under heavy stain. But Captain Ben
Ranford, who knew exactly what his ship
would do, slept soundly below, Toward
three A.M., the wind moderated, backing.
around to the southeast, where it held
till daybre:

By me
fair breeze. V

10 50 or

g the wind has died to a
siting, we sit peacefully in
ihe Sunday sun. The boat captains hand-
line for Tommy-rough, a delicious small
silver relative of the Australian “silm

Others tinker with equipment, play chess
and backgammon, write letters and read.
Peter Lake has put a rock tape on the
sound machine and on the roof of the
pilothouse, overlooking the oil slick, 1
write these notes while listening to The
Band. On shore, for Jim Lipscomb's cam-
cra, Valerie in lavender is baby-talking
with baby seals, and 1 hope that most if
not all of this sequence will die on the
cutting anom floor. Unless it points up
the days of waiting, such material has no
place in the climax of the film; it would
soften thi mote reel as
well as th

Toward dark, another shark appeared,
ller one, much bolder. Relcntlessly,
it circled the ship, not ten feet from the
hull. On one pass, it took the buoyed
vata single gulp.

Since it passed alongside, the size of
this shark could be closely estimated: All
reed that it was between nine

and ten fect. But if this was accurate, the
shark yesterday had been larger than

we'd thought. Rodney now said that it
over 12, Valerie between 13 and И,
thought it might have

reached 16 feet
day," he said,

“I thought so yester-
but 1 felt foolish, with

everyone else saying twelve." I thought
13 feet seemed a safe minimum. What-
length, it looked twice the mass of
из shark, which was plenty big
cnough. As it slid along the hull, the
thick lateral keel on its caudal peduncle
was cle; ; the merest twitch of
that strong tail kept оп, Under-
ater lights were tur
better, but this may have bee
nished, and did not return the fol

ig day.

On January 26, the Saori returned to
port for water and supplics. There it was
pned that fo s, lishing all week:
end, had boated between them the soli
tary shark that we had heard about on
Saturday. The Saori could easily have
hooked two, but what she was here for
was going to be much more difficult,
Meanwhile, a sighting of white sharks
reported by divers working
„ west of Cape Catastrophe
оп the ocean coast, where three whites
and a number of bronze whalers had
been seen schooling behind the surf; the
bronze whaler is the ubiquitous bull
shark, Garcharodon leucis, which is Ше
chief suspect in most shark attacks on
Australia's east coast.

On the chance that the shark school

“Sex education should be handled
by the people closest to it. Those with
firsthand experience. Not the school, not the
parents, but the kids in the street!”

183

PLAYBOY

184

was still present, we drove ош to the
coast acros the parched hills of the
sheep country. Over high, wind burnt
fields, a lovely paroquet, the galah,
penlgray and rose, lifted in weightless
flocks out of the wheat; other paroquets,
turquoise amd black and gold, crossed
from a scrub of gum trees and Melaleuca
to a grove of she-oak, the local name for
а form of Casuarina, Along the w
strange birds
scape of wind-worn hills that descended.
n to the seamisted shore. From the
dills, four or five whalers were in
sight, like brown ripples in the pale-
green windy water, but the white sli
had gone,

At daybreak on Wedn
nailed for the Gambier Islands on the
antarctic horizon south of the mouth of
Spencer Gulf. А big ocean swell rose out
of the southwest, out of the fur reaches
of the roaring forties, but there was a
Jee of sorts east of Wedge Island. The
sambiers are remote, and white sharks
had been seen there in the past; occa-
sionally, the sharks would seize a horse
when the animals raised there in other
days were swum out to the ships Now
the old farm was a sheep station, visited
infrequently by man. V Valerie
ad Stan. D went ashore, exploring.
ıt black machinery, siranded by dis
se, looked ош to sea from the dry
golden hills, and the sheep. many of
them dead, had brought a plague of flies;
only at the island's crest in the southwest.
wind could one be free of them

Wedge Island is a beaut

‚ the Saori

ıl silent

place, a great monument like a pyramid
in the Southern Ocean. That night,
tefuced storm peticls fluttered like
moths at the masthead light. Some fell 16
the deck and I put them i эх: once
the deck lights were out, they flitted off
toward the island. These hardy Шс
birds come in off the windy wastes of sea
just once a year to nest in burrows in the
dills.

Overhead, shined by the wind, the
astral sky was luminous, With the stem
of his pipe, white-haired Ben Ranford
pointed. at the universe nis Major."
he pronounced with satisfaction, “TI
brightest star in all the In
World W Two, Ben was captain of a

heavens.”

coveralls and big black shoes without on
wasted motion; he could kave stripped
the Saori from stem to stern and rcassemn-
bled her in the dark. No man could do
his job beter than he, and yet Ben knew

that this ship might be his Last
At dawn, the day was already bot and
still, the baits untouched, the ocean emp.

plitary eagle, white head
the rising sun, flapped
. bound lor the

nswer.
the

from place to place was not the
A decision was made to
volume of bait and chum and concen-
ише it at Dangerous Reef. The two
sharks raised there were the only ones
that we had seen, th lions

crease

lent se

те

"Gilcha-gitcha-goo."

the beasts and the reef
hours from the abattoir
and fish companies at Port Lincoln. The
ship sailed north again into Spencer Gull,
rounding the west end of the reef and
anchoring olf its northern shore at noon:
а southwest blow was expected that aft
noon, bucking around 10 the southeast
by evening
White shark

might ашаа
was only е

umber three can
dark on January 27, seizing the floa
bait with a heavy thrash that brought a
bellow of excitement from Gimbel, work-

ı on deck. No sooner had a
rigged than the fish reappe:

Slow mm at the

, which
part, oblivious of the ligh
ing Though not спо
aggressive brute was the one we wanted:
by the look of it, it would nor be de
tered by cages or anything else. Then it
эпе cuttlefish rippled in the
light, already thickened with a
bloom of red crustaceans.

All baits were hauled in except а small
flayed sheep, left out to stay the s
until the morning. At dawn, the uni
eled bait line lay on deck. Taking the
sheep, the shark. had put such strain on
the line that, parting, it had snapped
back clean out of the water. But there
was no sign of the shark amd it never
returned,

That ig, the Sea Raider came
out from Port Lincoln with big drums
full of butchered horse; the quarters
hung from the stern of the Saori, which
was reeking like a charnel house. Buckets
of horse blood, whale oil and a foul
chum of ground tuna guts made a broad
Slick that spread. northeast toward Spils-
by Island. The cages, cameras lashed to
their floors, were already overboard,
floating astern. The sky was somber, with
high mackerel douds and a bank of oce;
grays creeping up out of the south.
а hard wind; peels dipped and Huncred
in the wake. The ship was silent

Vodka in hand. Gimbel сате and
went, glaring astoundedly at the empty
slick that spread majestically 1o the hor
zon. About 5:30, І forsook my post on
the deckhouse rool and went below. Pe-
s ling in a berth, face tight. I
said, taking a shower, even thougl
there's still light enough to shoot: there'll
be a shark here before I'm finished." He
ed politely. 1 had just returned. to
din, sill half dry, wrapped in
towel, when a voice yelled "Shark!" йома
the companion

By the time we т
bound for the wet suits, the sun parted
the clouds; with luck, there would be
good underwater light for at least
hour. Already. a second shark had joined
the first and. both were big. I went into

gobbled at and shook
d shout.
this

men mous,

mort

ter wi

ached the deck,

the sea with Peter,
soon joined us in the other cage. Almost

immediately. a great pale shape took
form in the blue mist.
The bolder of the sharks, perhaps 12

feet long, was а heavy male, identifiable
ed claspers at the vent: a second
stayed in the back
The first shark һай vivid scars
head and an oval scar under
. amd im the molten. water of

ground
about thi
the dors:

lme afternoon, it was a creature very
different from the one se from the
The hard rust of its hide had

shi
skin. the dorsal fin, an ¢
bronze shaded down to luminous dark
metallic gray along the lateral line, a
color as delicate as that bronze tint on a
mushroom which points up the whiteness
of the flesh beneath. From snout to keel,
the underside was a deathly white, all
but the black undertips of the broad
pectorals

‘The shark passed slowly, first the slick
jaw with the triangular splayed teeth,
then the Фак eye, impen and
empty as the eye of God, next the gill
slits, like knife slashes in paper, then the
pile slab of the flank, allow with silver
ripplings of light, and finally the thick

short twitch of its hard tail, Its aspect
was les savage than implacable, a silent
thing of merciless serenity

Only when the light had dimmed did

the szaaller shark drift in from the blue
shadows, but never did it come to the
hanging baits. The larger shark barged
past the cages and banged against the
I to swipe and gulp at the chunks of
meat; on the way out, it repeatedly bit
the propeller of the outboard. swallow-
m the whole shaft and shaking the
a it would swing and glide
its broad pectorals, like
ngs, held in am upward
st moment, gills rippling,
this fantastic great eating machine would
swerve enough to miss the cage and,
once the smiling head had passed, I
could reach out amd take hold o[ the
rubber pectoral, or trail my fingers down
the length of cold dead flank, as if strok-
ag a corpse: The skin felt as smooth as
the skin of a swordfish or tuna. Then the
pale apparition sank under the copper-
red hull of the Saori and hed in
the gloom, only to reappear from апо
igle, relentless, moving always at the
¢ deceptive speed, mouth gasping as
in thirst. This time, it came straight to
the cage and seized one of the flotation
cylinders of the cage roof; there came a
nasty screcching sound, like the grating
of fingernails on slate, before the shark
ишпей off, shaking its head.

The sharks off Durban had probed the
cages and scraped past, but never, in
hundreds of encounters, did one attack

moto
straight in

At the

era

“Personally, 1 think the U

them openmouthed. The white sh
were to attick the cages over and over.
‘This first one arched its back, gills wrin-
kling. coming on mouth wide; fortunate-
ly, it came at cruising speed and struck
the least vulnerable part of the cage.
The silver flotation tanks, awash at the
асе, may have resembled crippled

hit far orc often.
When their teeth
struck ks usually turned
away. but often the bite was hard
enough to break the teeth off, Some-

times, as it hed the cage, one
would flare its mouth wide, then close it
again, in what looked very much like the

ppr

threat display of higher animals.
To escape the rough chop at the sur-
face,

the cage descended to 15 fect,
mbel opened the roof latch
ed part way out to film: he
was driven back each time. At one point,
falling back in haste. Peter got his tank
hung up on the hi ad was still
partly exposed. wh passed
overhead, а black shade golden
ether made by the sinking sum. From
below, the brute’s girth was dramatically
blotted out the light

ark paid the cages such close
that Gimbel burned up ten
film in 15 minutes. When
мең
Lake took over the
Gimbel yelled at them,
“Now watch it! They're
nothing lite those Durbin sharks, so
don't Then Stam came
out of the second cage and, by the time
he was reloaded, Ron was ready to come
this gave me a chance to go down a
second time.

attention
minutes of
he went to the surface to reload,

"Taylor and Peter
cage. “Listen!
still excited.

e chi

Os are dropping them."

For а while, the atmosphere was quiet,
as both sharks kept their distance from
ad went like spirits
icies are usually
ıd now there came а series of
near crises. First the bigger shark, mouth
open, ran afoul of one of the lines; the

ier—skiff lines, bait
lines, hydrophone cable and tethers to
keep the cages near the bait—that at first
one couldnt tell what was going to hap-
nd I felt a durch of fear. Swim
way, k was sha
head im irr and then Is
the line was the tether of the other cage,
where Gimbel had been joined by Peter
Lake. The line was very nearly taut when
the shark shook free. Lake was using a
camera with a 180-degree fisheye lens,
and was getting remarkable shots, but the
dose call rauled him considerably, At the
surface, he yelled all the obscenities. "To
hell with that shit!” he concluded. "I'm
going below to hide under my berth
Bur Lake's шаһ were not over, А few
jays later, when the Saori returned to
Dangerous Reel for continuity shots and
supporting footage. a shark tangled in a
ait line bent the whole cage with one
pectoral fi tually stretched five ol
the bars, shaking the whole
dice cup before Lake could get his leg
nile out and cut the line free. Ar the
surface, he had difficulty joking: "Wh
I saw those bars starting to go, I felt like
I had jumped at twelve thousand feet

tior

with my paradiute caten by rats.”
Often, the larger shark would appear
from below. its ragged smile rising

185

PLAYHOY

186

straight up past the cage; already, its
head was scarred with streaks of red lead.
from the Saori’s hull. On one of these
ascents, it seized a piece of meat hung
from the taffrail just as the current
swung the cage in toward the ship, so
that the whole expanse of its ghostly
belly, racked by spasms of huge gulpi
perpendicular against the bars. I
iched. the belly with a kind of mor-
hy, but at that instant, we
were jarred by a thrash of the
cage had pinned the shark upright
against the rudder of the Saori. While
Waterman filmed at point blank range,
ic lashed the water white, “I wasn't really
worried about you guys." Gimbel said
later. “ knew it would knock hell

п of you.” The cage was swiftly heaved

id the shark glided for the bottom.
with that ineffable silent calm, moving
no more ly than before. Watching
it go, it was easy to believe that this beast
might swim for centuries.

Т tumed to congratulate Waterman
on the greatest footage of a feeding
white shark ever taken, but Stans eyes
тойей in woe behind his mask and he
made a throatslitting gesture with his
finger and smote his rubber brow, then
shook his fist at his camera, which had
jammed. Gimbel got the sequence from
the other cage, 30 feet away, and Lips-
comb caught one angle of it from the
е, but Stan was inconsolable.

Gimbel was still trying to film fom
the roof hatch and now he ducked down
neatly at a shark's approach, only to find
himself staring straight into its face. The

main cage door had opened outward and
the shark was so near that he could not
reach out to close it. Badly frightened,
ted with his camera at the shark,
which slowly turned away.

The sharks patrolled the cages, the
Saori and the skiff, biting indiscriminately
there was no sense of viciousness or sav
agery in what they did, but something
worse, an insatiable need. They bit the
skiff and they bit the cages, and one
pushed past the meat to bite the propel-
ler of the Saori; it was as if they smelled
the food but could not distinguish it by
sight and, therefore, attacked everything
in the vicinity. Often they mouthed the
cage metal with such violence that teeth
went spinning from their jaws. One
tooth found on the bottom had its serrate
edge scraped smooth. It seemed to me
that here was the explanation for the
reports of white-shark attacks on boats;
they do not attack boats, they attack
anything,

We had entered the water about six
t diver left it after
7:30, by which time all six of us were
ing hard with cold. In the skiff,
erring fom the cages to the ship,
everyone was shouting. The excitement
far exceeded. any 1 had seen in the
footage of the greatest day off Durban
nd, when 1 mentioned this to Gimbel,
he exdaimed, “Christ ‘These
sharks are just a hell of a lot more
exciting!

The next morning, a sparkling wild
day, the two sharks were still with us,
nd they had been joined by a third

man!

“That coat does a lot for you, my dear. . .. But
then, I imagine you've done a lot Jor it!”

still larger one. Even Ron estimated the
new shark as 14 feet, and Gimbel one or
two feet more; it was the biggest man-
ating shark that anyone aboard had ever
seen. Surging out of the sca to fasten on a
horse shank hung from a davit, it stood
upright beside the ship, head and gill

dear of the tail vibrating, the
glistening triangles of its teeth red-
rimmed with blood. In the effort of

shearing, the black eye went blind as it
rolled its eyeball upward; then the whole
horse quarter disappeared in a scarlet
billow. “I've watched sharks all my life,"
Ben Ranford said, “but I've never seen
anything as terrifying as that.” Plainly
no shark victim with the misfortune lo
get hold of a raft or boat would ever
survive the shaking of that head.

Last night in the galley, Ron had
suggested to Peter that swimming with
опе white might be possible, and Peter
agreed. But this morning there were three
and the visibility was so limited that onc
could never tell where or when the other
two might appear. The talk of swimming
in the open water ended, and а good
thing. too. д but sensationalism:
would be gained from a pointless risk thai
might hum or kill a diver: Such heroics, I
felt, would seem contemptuous of the
great white shark and could only blunt
the impact of the film.

The cage will sink а foot or so be-
neath the surface under a man's weight
situation to be avoided in the pres-
ence of white sharks, which, to judge
from the might well come lung-
ing onto the cage yoof—and the next
morning, entering it, I performed with
ease what I had heretofore done clumsily,
flipping directly out of the skiff and
down through the narrow roof hatch
headfirst. Even before I straightened up,
rgest of the sharks loomed along-
filling the blue silence with its
smile. 1 felt naked in my flimsy cell until
Stan joined me. This shark was two or
three fect longer than the next in size,
but it looked hall again as big, betw
1800 pounds and a fat ton, In wh
sharks over ten [eet long, the incr
girth and weight per foot of length is
ssive; the white shark that I saw dead
at Montauk, only two or three feet long-
er than this one, had weighed at least
twice as much.
The shark
past skiff and ca
meat, and of
way out. Li

vidi

was fearless, crashing
ge alike to reach the
en attacking both on the
€ its companions, which
scooted aside when it came dose, it at
tacked the flotation tanks over and over,
refusing 10 learn that they were not
edible. Even the smallest shark came in
to sample the flotation tanks when the
others were not around. J had seen one
of its companions chase it, so probably
its shyness had little to do with the

e the sharks in the Indian
the whites gave cach other a wide
berth. Occasionally one would go for the
air tank in the corner, bumping the
whole cage through the water with its
snout, and once one struck the naked
bars when I waved a dead salmon as i
approached. Clumsily, it missed the prof-
fered fish, glancing off the bars as I
yanked my arm back. Had the sharks
attacked the ba they would have
splayed them. “He could bite that cage
to bit ated to,” Valerie had said
of yesterday's shark, and got no argu-
meni

structi
of moments, From below, we watched it
wrestle free an enormous slab of horse,
200 pounds or more; as it gobbled and
shook, its great pale body quaked, the
tail shuddering with the effort of keep-
ing its head high out of the water. The
back arched, it dove with its prize to-
ward the bottom, its mouth trailing bub-
bles from the air gulped down with its
Tast bite. Only one pilot fish was ever
seen at Dangerous Reef; we wondered if
the white shark's relentless pace made it
difficult for a small fish to keep up.

When I left the water, there was a
slight delay in getting the skilf alongside
and Rodney warned me not to loiter on
top of the cage. “They've been climbing
all over it" he called. At onc point,
Valerie, having handed up her exhausted
tank, had to retreat into the cage, hold-
ing her breath as а shark thrashed across
its roof over and over.

Numbers of fish had come to the de-
bris exploded into the water by the feed-
E nd the windstorm of the night
1 pale algae from the
bottom. Visibility was poor, yet the
sharks worked so close to the cages that
the morning's filming was even better
than the day before, and the cameramen
worked from nine until 1:30. By then,
the ten months of suspense were over.

We were scarcely out of the water
when the wind freshencd, with the
threat of rain. The cages were taken
aboard and battened down, while a par-
ty went ashore to film the Saori from the
recf, Then, in a cold twilight, drinking
rum in the pallyfo'Csle, we rolled
downwind across Spencer Gulf, bound
for Port Lincoln. Though the sea was
rough, the fo'c'sle was warm and bri
filled with rock music. Valerie saw to it
that we had a good supper, and wine
soon banished the slightest doubt that
we all liked one another very much,
there anything more splendid," Water-
man cried, “than the fellowship of good
shipmates in the fo'Csle after a bracing
day before the mast?” After three weeks
in a real fo'c'sle, Stan had embraced the
19th Century with all hi

Peter Gimbel, sweetly drunk, swung
back and forth from fits of shouting to

for the big shark today, the de-
n of the cage would be the work

a kind of stunned, suffused relief and
quiet happiness He looked ten years
younger. What surely the most excit-
ing film ever taken underwater had been
ned without serious injury to any-
body. Th mph was a vindication of
his own faith in himself and, because he
had earned it the and deserved
it was a pleasure id
drink and watch the rare joy in his face.
At the end of the week, I flew west-
ward to East Africa. A month later,
when I reached New York, Peter told me
that the whiteshark sequence was be-
yond all expectations, that the film stu
dio was ecstatic and that a financial
ssured. How sad, 1
said, that his father "t alive to see it.
He grinned, shaki his hcad. "It is" hc
said. "He would have been delighted."
Already, Peter was concemed about
where he would go from here. Meanwhile,
he had planned a violent dieting, which
he didn’t need, ked why, he
shrugged. "I just want to see if I can get
down to a hundred sev ” he said.
Perhaps 1 read too much into that diet,
but it bothered me: The search for the

success now scemed

d when

great white shark was at an end, but his
search was not. I recalled a passage in
the letter Peter had written after the
30-hour marathon off Durban, and when
I got home, 1 dug

“I felt none of the dazed sense of
" he wrote, "that had filled me ten
days before, during our first night dive. 1
remember. wondering sadly how it could
be that a sight this incredible could have
lost its shattering impact so quickly for
me—why it should be that the sights and
sensations should have to
hellishly simply to hold their own with
my adaptation to them. . . . Only а week

it out:

опе night to sty over and over,
people in all the world have ever laid eyes
On a scene so wild and infernal as that,”
I wasn't even particularly excited.

And further on: "I was filled with a
terrible sadness that we had indeed de-
termined precisely the limits we sought,
that the mystery was at least partly gone
because we knew that we could get away
with anything, that the story—and such a
story!—had an end."

icu

“Hell, do as I do, kid, pretend there's no one down there.”

187

AQHAUTA

22 by

“Wow!—how’s this for a great ecology?”

188

ЇЇ nner pom ке о

fiend who Hoated up to an Amsterdam
cop and beefed about the low grade of
h he had just picked up from some
dude on sect. The cop
. chewed a sample and told the
Swede: “You're right; this shit is no good.”
Then he reached imo a pocket, pulled out
a halt kilo slab of greasy Red Lebanese
and said: “This is what you should look
for, friend. IUH wipe you out.” Great fuzz
in Amsterdam! Humantype people, said
Slick. Far breathed his audience,
hunched over the jukebox in the ferry's
youth saloon. Untucking-believable!
And now, here's Slick pulling his
joint within a long arm's seach of the
law on the platform and the cop is walk-
ing slowly in the direction of the blissful
trio. He talks to them quietly,
with no sign of hostility. You 1
move prety dose to pick up the words,
because Amsterdam police are polite 10
foreigners, even to foreign freaks, Maybe
hes inking for a taste, No. What he's
saving is: “You're all under arrest.
Busted! In Amsterdam, youth mecca

of the world? Where ci 1 mem-
hers said dope should | ized and

1 themselves photo front of
city hall, zon yed,

waving hash bombers at the cam
Where they broadcast. prices. and
ability of popular brands of hash
the st a, and th

for Youth Education submitted а plan
calling for the establishment ol drug-
stores to sell Cannabis products at fixed
prices. All those miracles. and then along
comes a cop to recite the litany of the

Coun

bust. It would appear that the third
world’s dates nirvana is just another
plain, old-fashioned bummer.

But not for lucky Slick and his friends,
"They got off. In the police station. they
were told their arrests were only techni-
cal. A warning. Nobody was fined, jailed
or deported, though under Dutch aw,
they might have been. They were re-
minded that drugs are illegal in Hol
nd—despite publicity to the contrary
ad that if they were ever caught
dealing, ihe law would jump on them.
But there are places in Amsterdam, they
were informed, where they could smoke
all they wanted, and nobody would come
to take them away. Finally, they w
divested of their remaining joints
told they could leave This ti
the pilgrims from the West.

walked through the valley of fear
disillusionmer shed into the night,
filled with a wondrous sense of relief.
Slick, looking slightly uncomfortable, said
good night to the others outside the po-

hat

lice station,

declared Newsweek last Au-
am has won youth's

lade as the drug, sex and do-your-thing
capital of die. Western world.” Scarcely
two months later, in a report on the
August riots that had convulsed the
city, Rolling Stone magazine conduded
that Amsterdam had fallen to the enemy
This 15 the end of an era of tolerance,’
was the unlikely quote attributed to an
unidentified Dutch writer. “Tolerance
only goes so far. and I think Amsterdam
has found its limit." All in all, it looked
as though Amsterdam had been just an-
other summer romance for the press.
The young had tried to shaft the es
tablishment and the establishment had
kicked back, or so it seemed to the
newspapers. But newsmen are rarely hap
pier than when they're tearing down the
myths created by other newsmen, and
what had happened in Amsterdam su
fered, то a certain extent, from this
journalistic syndrome.

There мее riots. They took place in
the Dam, Amsterdam's main square and
alfresco. coed dormitory for migratory
youth, By last August, up to 1000 kids
were bedding down every night on the
square, despite a ban against sleeping near
public monuments that was introduced
by the city—bur never enforeed—a_ ye:
earlier, Merchants grumbled, tourists con
plained and the pimps in the adjac
relight district whined
in wade. On the night u,
moved in to clear the square, they received
unsolicited assistance from a bizarre force
of Dutch id mar
motorbike thugs and
pimps. There was also.
that, it was darkly suspected, whipped ир
the passion by renting a few psychopaths
and shoving them into the crowd.

Ansterlamcrs were outraged by
violence, but the sleepers themselves, on
the whole, esc
had left them
weeks, it was pointed out, the onset of
autumnal rains and cold nights would,
w have forced them to sleep
somewhere Afterward, it was ru-
mored that the city fathers
dean up the D use
pending visit of President
Indonesia, a detested or do-
nesian exiles in the Netherlands. They
accuse their former leader's regime of
slaughtering 250,000 dissidents not 100
many years ago. Those who escaped—
many of them live in Amste m—have
not forgotten it ably, many young
people in the capital viewed the Dam
action as dirty deed committed for
unworthy causes, a battle fought to
relieve the fn of nautical red-
necks. to make the city profitable for
pimphood and to Em the landscape

else.
decided to
of the im-
Suharto of

п be

for
human bei

the execution of 250.000
The mayor, blaming “

plosve groups" for the trouble, seemed
unhappy. “It would be a terrible condem-

ion of myself and the cit he said
after the event, *
to сапу on a toles

Ever since the
Du UH Ө Аша
centuries ago, because of “liccntiousness
among ye young folk” and their fear that
it might contaminate Pilgrim youth,
young people in the Dutch capital have
set the style for inte
test in their assaults on established polit-
ical and religious orders. Last year. even
Amsterdam bishops joined them by com-
ing out ist obligatory celibacy for
priests, in direct contradiction of
Vatican policy, The young Catholic chap-
lain at the University of Amsterdam got
married, and a political movement found-
ed by young radicals comp:
olution and won 12 seats o
throughout Holland.

The members of this movement called
themselves Kabouters—a Dutch word lor
gnomes or pixies: they came into be-
ng at the beginning of 1970. succeedi
the street- lighting Provos, who disbanded
voluntarily the previous year, beca
they felt they had become too in
tionalized. Where the Prove
potential supporters with their tough-
ness, the Kabouters enlisted them through
а form of euphoric lunacy, backed up
with a radical program of reform. At one
of the first city-council mectings in Amster-
the Kaboutess proposed thar the
Dutch army be disarmed and converted
into a band of happy jesters. who would
run around spread versal merri-
y have urged drivers to install
flower boxes on their car roofs, so that
parking lots would look more bcauti-
ful. They campaign for the legalization
of soft drugs, for the abolition of private
itomobiles from the center of. Amster-
dam and for the withdrawal of Holland
from NATO. They se
offices that have been
business and tuin the
poor and homeless. They have also
organized an old-age department that
offers pensioners such free services as
shopping or just conversation.

over to the city's

The Kabouters most ambitious objec
tive is the creation of “alter com-
munities” around the world that would be

free of bureaucracy and commercia
ploitation. Their inha

ex-

encouraged to assume responsibility for
and

every phase of their environme
personal initiative would

pendence on elected politic
proposals may sound utopian, but

in last

year’s municipal elections, the Kabouters
got almost 38.000 votes in Amsterdam.
nd emerged as the capital's fourth-

strongest municip
of all the recent ag

1 party. In the course
ation among Western

youth, it was the first major victory
for the young at the polls.
The center of all this ferment, which

189

PLAYBOY

"Could I interest you gentlemen in a package deal?”

has made Holland one of the most exe
ing countries in Europe today, is a met-
ropolitan antique, Much of Amsterdam

dates from the 17th Century and rests on
wooden piles sunk deep into th
hog that constitutes the city's
tion. Houses lurch forw

their
foundations like drunken aristocrats iry-

g to maintain their dignity, propped
with hefty beams and fined with gables,
whose ornate decorations were the pride
of merchant owners. It is a town
built on some 70 islands, connected by
more than 500 bridges and divided by
miles of canals t ate in a semi
dicular pattern from the harbor, Seen
from the air, with the sun gleaming on
the waterways, the city looks like a spider's
web with fresh. morning dew on it.

Amsterdam lies just below the north
west upper shoulder of Continental Eu

rad

торе. Rome is less than two and a hall
hours away by plane, London and Paris
an hour. Copen n an hour

and а half. Thirty-seven international rail
expresses arrive every day at Centraal Sta-
tion, One might dive to Brussels or

Cologne in the morning and return to
Amsterdam for dinner

Ie is an cntranciny
enough so that a st

vesless city, small
er quickly feels at

home, big enough to encompass a poly
glot assortment of people and unex pec

ed con

ts. DET

European travelers go there.
because it's almost impossible to avoid it.
Art lovers feast on Rembrandt in the
190 Rijksmuseum, Van Gogh in the Munici-

pal. Shoppers look for bargains in rare
stones at the diamond. houses, lor duty-
free goods at Schiphol Airport. English-
speaking tourists feel comfortable there
because most of the 960,000
speak their language. And others
drawn by the city’s n
restaurants, by its nonstop night life
by the unconcealed temptations of
Amsterdam sex stores and the red.
district.

There are upwards of 80 sex shops

in Amsterdam. They sell everything
hom mechanized dildos and fetishists
appliances то movies, slides and ihe

Dutch translation of Philip Koth's Port-
noy's K nl.
Sexual

The Nethe
Reform,

ds Society
state-subsidized
runs a highly successful

sincs in sexual devices.
Tourists flock to these stores, but the
biggest attraction in the city is the Wal
letjes, a red-light district that is con-
tained in an oblong slice of old
houses in one of the most. picturesque
parts of town.

The girls of the Walletjes are black.
white, brown, yellow, pink, tall, short.
thin, far, perfect, рге]
unwigged. There
girls in

for

feet. Some
wear leather jackets and look tough:
others dress in fur wraps, velvet su
tweeds and. pearls; and some wear
nothing. They stand in doorwitys, aga
lampposts. in bars. on corners, in alleys
that are wide enough for only one cus-

tomer at à time. Everywhere. y sit
behind windows under purple lights
looking like mermaids life-sized
aquarium or a window display in an
uptown store. A large percentage are
young and pretty, Some could make a

living as models. A few are dragons. One
veteran, said to be in her 70s, charges
five guilders—less than 51.20: but the
price for a quick fling in the
Walletics is 25 guilders—about seven
dollars—and the fee increases in accord-

ance with the client's special quirks. For
flagging libidos. the girls supply vibra-
tors, erotic movies, slides and books

‘Ivy the Germans 1 doit сате for,” an
attractive 19-year-old brunette told
tor. “They ys want to come in three
or four at a nd watch. The Ami
cans? They want to know why I do it.
Stupid e n. I make good money, 1
pay taxes and it’s legal, I wou
ny other job. Now fuck off. pl
In the WalHetjes. one might observe, as
the same visitor recently did, the exuaor-
y sight of an elderly cuse
whose wheelchair had gotten jammed in
y of one of the houses
friends eventually pushed him through.
with some help from a half
inside. A couple of m
appeared at the wi

visi-

пег.

Two

the

dosed
sight
mele of the Walletjes is com-
prised mostly of "respectable" tourists—
body except that body of youthful
s for whom Amsterd:
ater attractions and to whom, as а
rule, the idea of prostitution represents a
kind of adult hang-up. in which they
want no part. The kids have their own
game to play and it centers around the
Dutch capital's tolerance of soft. drugs.
They know that as long as they stick to
the rules that were spelled out to Slick
d his friends, they run li of
arrest. The Amsterdam ware squad con-
sists of eight men who usually conce
on hardstuff dealers and tend 10 i
users of hash -

s to the premises of
two shabby old
ags that the city counc
to the tune of 550,000 a year
nons cm drink beer or
avantgarde theatrical
nude ballets, listen 10 paint.
sculpt, sing, shout, dance, make out and
turn on A Large sign inside the doors of
the Paradiso, the more poplar of the two
youth halls, states that dope trading on
the premises is forbidden, but a few
salesmen can always be found outside or
acros the street, keeping a wary eye
open for the law, while g poor-
quality consignments on. unsuspecting
buyers.

The Paradiso and

subsidizes
The pa
watch
productions or

music

sod:

masa arc open
only on certain nights of the week. When

"WHERE TO STAY

WHERE TO DINE -

WHERE TO DRINK

WHERE TO PLAY

WHAT TO BUY

Alexander: 25 rooms
over canalside Dikker

en This restaurant.

Both hotel and dining spot
offer fine management.
flawless service, attention
to details. $30.

American: on the Leidse-
Ее glittering night-hfe

ub, Large rooms. reai
Suites with balconies over
lecor late Twenties
(original; unregistered
guests of opposite sex not
popular, $21.

Amstel: white ties and
tails on tne lobby staff, an
upholstered sofa-bench
in the elevator accentuate

readiness to receive royalty.
which itoften does, Genteel
luxury and discreet,
nce in a secluded
juarter on
iver. $27.

ele
ential
the Amstel

Doel:
bred quletude
of the city. Soy
service, chic сі
terrace restaurant over
tne Amstel. $27.

Hotel de l'Europe: break
fast nooks and balconies

ап rooms overlooking river:
impeccable manners at t!
desk, excellent address,
homé of the renowned Ex-
celsior restaurant. $22.

Hans Brinker Stutel: strictly
for youthful budgeteers
traveling with rucksacks;
nonprofit, state-owned

hostel with shared rooms
and dormitories, Excellent
bar, competent manage-
ment, very informal.
Minimum nightly rater.
start at $2.80.

Hilton: big, modern luxu:
nous rooms with superb
views; shopping arcade
and some of the city's
best bars, restaurants,
plus topnotch disco, Our
javorite European Hilton,
despite inconvenient
location. $26.80.

Howard Johnson: 14 canal
side houses have been re-
Built inside to produce one.
ct the newest, most pleas-
ant hotels in town, full of
character, charm, comfort
and comely chambermai
Attractive views. $25.

Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky:
The Kras to old-timers. Very
convenient, determinedly

aristocratic despite its prox-
imiy to red-light district

Large rooms, numerous res-
taurants, bars, banqueting:

salons. Dine at least once
in the Palm Garden. $20.

run by a staff of gente:
ung ladies, who seem to
ave graduated from Swiss
finishing schools. $25.

Port Van Cleve: behing Roy-
al Palacein centralcily.Com-
fortable suites, plush beds
in curtained alcoves. $23.

out for pros in the art
world and prime location
for night ramblers. $17.

Prices quoted are mint
mum daily rates for double
ooms, except where noted,
ley are approximate and
do not reflect slight antici-
pated increases lor 1971.

Adrian: six tables in dining
room of a 17tn Century nouse;
gleaming linen and silverware,
ап ambiance surpassed only
by the food, the finestin
Amsterdam. French cuisine.

imstel: for special occasions,
formal, Classic French dishes
in surroundings of Empire
opulence, Game of all
varieties in season.

Bal: the number-one Indo:
nesian show place, according
to tour planners, but not cur
favorite; often tco crowded.

Black She: staggering
choice of over 150 dishes,
more than 500 wines.
French-Continental. Decor
is nalt Mother Goose, half
Disney, all charming.

Carthage: Tunisian specialties,
with emphasis on spiced lamb,
Succulent pastries and other
Middle Eastern delicacies.

Chalet Sulsse: international
penu includes Аксе:
Tops imbalaya.
Gesees fondues Good
edibles, rustic furnishings.

Dikker en Thijs: food's not
what it ought to be considering.
restaurant's world-wide repu-
tation, but place is stylish and
formal; French cuisine.

iver-front version
in Thus, with а white
grand Vg Solty a

ск of the room. French.

Five Flies: five ancient houses
forming one rambling restau-
rant presided over by Professor
Nicolaas Kroese, vice-chair-
man of the World University
and Amsterdam's most
hospitable restaurateur.
A tourist trap—but definitely
worth a visit. French-
Continental-Kroeseian.

De Gravenmolen: French,
fashionable, superb. (Try the
clear fish soup with Pernod.)

Green Lantern: located in a
Building опу 50 inches wide
at front, Dutch food (thic
Soups, hearty meat entrees)
and a robust specialty called
the Soldier's Meal, a platterful
‘of chicken, fillet of beef, veal,
mushrooms, baked potatoes
and vegetables. Reserve

the upstairs front table.

Koffeehuis de Hoek: no guide-

books list this workingman's

café, but it serves the

city's Neftiest helping of nam
h French fries,

Howard Johnson Hotel.

Port Van Cleve: two steak
restaurants: one room bootnec
and tranquil, the other.
сасорһопооэ, Waiters pass or
ders along by bellowing at one
эполет until message reaches
chef. First-class beef, every
piece numbered—fr е
ff yours ends in three zeros.

Steeg
ee e
S that baffle and delight.

Schiller: delicious smoked
eels, fresh oysters, massive
Servings of grilled sole, exten-
sive meat entrees, long wine

ist, comradely corps ol
falters. Recommended for
ап unhurried, intimate lunch.

Wim Wagenear: this steak
Melaurant attracts some of
Toan plus visiting showbiz

in plus visiting showbiz.
ees Good food and lots of
it at very reasonable prices.

Americain: in American
Hotel; bustling
vous, more like
failroad waitin

room
than a bar; outside.
tables in warm weather.

‘Amstel: oldest bar in
town, though extensive
face lifting has elimi-
nated the antiquity;
popular for after.
dinner drinks with a
young, fashion-
Conscious crowd.

Boogaloo: ideal for а re-

dams first English
гусуз yeasty Whit
read's beer on tap,
Mackeson's Stout in
the bottle, as well as
excellent Dutch brews.

Continental Bodega:
sherries and wines in
huge wooden casks line
the walls of this busy

. The Bodega is a
“tasting house,” vin-
tages sold by glass or
bottle, closes at 7:30.
Arrive about four on à.
weekday afternoon to
bent atter-work rush.

Hoppe: another old
name, 300 last year,
and showing its age.

A no-nonsense stand-up
Бат with sawdust

floors and a clientele
drawn from ever,

of Amsterdam life.

The House of Cutty Sark:
snuff and
1 Cutts

free ful
ese

prim Е
is "America's Number
One Scotch" wilh
chasers of Watney's Red
Barrel beer from Britain.

Ognibeni: similar to the
Continental Bodega but
ecializes in Ital
intages; an authentic
taste of il dolce vino
enhanced by romanti-
Cized murals of Venice,
Florence, Rome and
Naples. Musical
entertainment Friday
and Saturday,
midnight closing.

Saloon: muted replica of
Western bar; friendly
young crowd, good
music on tape, fabulous
blonde barmai

Wynand Fockink: an
other early-closini
"lasting house” that
deals in cordials, gene-
vers (gin drinks) and

liqueurs luced by
Wynand Fockink, one of
the oldest names in the

Dutch distilling industry.

Bamboo Bar: a bi
boisterous crowd of
young singles: live music
every night until two.

Birds Club; visitors need
temporary membership
or this SICK go-go roost,
where customers dance
in bird cages; live band
оп occasional weekends.

Blue Note: topless giri
rock groups, torch Sing-
ers, combos ош

Vintage Bobby

Candy Club: the owners
'ublish a porno mag and
ave made such memo-

fable hit records as l'm So

Sexy and Hot in My Mouth:

closed to nonmembers

оп weekends, when the

patrons take it all off
and exchange addresses.
Weekdays, they sit under

ultraviolet light at the
bar and peruse ‘dirty’
photos under tne glass-
pped counter. Don't
expect much action.

Fietsothàque: Hilton
disco; live music, lively
Crowd of all ages.

Lucky Star: two big bars
In a barn; steady rock
from juke, informal
raffishness.

Milkweg (Milky Way)

youth refuge in an old

Say. products factory:
el

galleries, café, small
auditorium.

Napoleon: fashionable
disco and bar; all three
Sexes represented,

Paradiso: the place where
the young of all nations
turn on and tune in when
in Amsterdam. Open
three nights a week,
sometimes less, for nude
theatricals, psychedeli
Happenings. No dope
trading allowed on
premises, warns a bi
Sign, but there's гаге!
an eyebrow raised
against consumption.

Raspoetin, Revolution
and Zzazz- ultrasmart
discos with doormen;
strictly for dancing and
romancing-

Shaja: Freak City hangout,
wildest sounds in town.
Customers seldom dance,
preferring to recline in
Shadows and see how
high they can get just

by breathing deeply.

5
s most conventional
discos, popular with

young execs and dates.

Plus: innumerable strip.
foints with familiar names.
‘Moulin Rouge, Troca-
lero, elc.), where drinks
аге costly and entertain.
ment so-so-

Also: boat rides on the
canals, Heineken's Drew:
Ery tour, ending with free
rounds ot beers Duten
Symphonies, opera.
Salter rock concerts,
jazz recitals. For art and
story buffs: Rem.

world-famed Rijks:
museum housing bis
Night Watch, the Royal
Palace, Stedelijk Museum,
famous for its Van Goghs.
the Concertgebouw
(concert hall) and
numerous other histori
buildings and museum:

Best duty free buys
in Europe can be
found at Amster-
dam's Schiphol
irport- cameras.
retail at same prices
Cor close to them)
23 in country of
igin; untaxed bar.
Bains on watches.
electronic products.
р umes, liquor
bacco and cars.
16 town, Kalve!
siste the main
Shopping street,
closed to all vehicles:
everythi able,
dozens of cafes and
5 to rest wea!
feet. Also, try Loidse.
straat, its entire
length, for gifts.
books, shoes, mens:
wear; Oriental art
works at number 47,
King.

eng, for peuterware,
hii, electronics:
Nieuwendiik for
records, books,
souvenirs; Damrak
(at Victoria Hotel
Grid) for gifts, books,
toys. Find the best
antiques at 31
Nieuwe Spiegel-
straat, others at 13
and 55, Dutch tiles
at 64; diamonds and
(Erst at Bone:
akker, 88.90 Roki
and Paola Rossi, 3

mond-cutti

tories at Coster, 2
Paulus Potterstraat,
ага Kars, 18-20

bacco, pipes, cigars

at Hajenius,
Rokin.

Last stop, the
fiea markets—Albert

191

PLAYBOY

192

the crowd heads—along
Is in the сома ор the
able bars, cafés and discotheques
on the side streets around the Leidse
plein and Rembrandtsplein, the city's
two biggest amusement arcas. In many of
these places, the freak show continues
without benefit of civic subsidies. At about
Ino. most of them close for the night and
people who have somewhere to crash—
usually a dormitory in a student hostel
n prolong the binge wit
risk of harassment by

with di

in most

To find out the current prices of hash.
they can tune in two weekly radio pro-
grams and listen 10 the dopemarket
stock-exchange reports tha
special youth programs. A recent edition
of a Sarurday-atte show called This
Is the Beginning led off with the weekly
quotations (Afghanistan, 4.50 guilders a
m: Red Lel 3.50; Moroccan,
etc) and followed. these with a

иге Guried on

поо

g about some bad acid that was
ag the rounds. After this came
solicitous word from a police olficial,

ards of switch.
VPRO r

has

e about the h:

who s

other youtlvoriented st
hour program on Fridays. when
glish. There is

also a VPRO-TV affiliate that telecasts
live thieeandachal-hour shows every
two weeks, The program. which usually
сез by top-name
rock groups, is deliberately unstructured,
хо as to allow for maximum spontaneity.
Anyone who wants to g

lay spiring word about anarchy on
the viewing audience is free to do so.

The quality of freedom to say or do
what you like in Amsterdam—providi
it injures nobody clsc—is characteristic
of the Dutch in general and of Amster-
damers in particular. It is inherited
both from the freewheeling merchants
of the 7th and 18th Centuries, who first
made the city а great center of wuly
democratic institutions, and from the mid-
dle class, who succeeded them and who
developed а sturdy sense of independent
liberalism coupled with a lasti
for bureaucracy

distaste
m-

Even today, Amste

has

nive capital in The Ha
ny centuries, Amsterdam
reluge to people whose religious and
ical ideals made them outcasts i
their own countries. Unlike many similar
grants to the New World (who some-
es found they were exchangi
form of exploitation for an

g one

her), exiles

“I think she's trying to kick the habit.”

Amsterdam found a community
which their racial origins or person
hs did not stigmatize them. Indeed.
nonbelievers sometimes came to their de
fense in fearless disregard of person
safety, as in IMI, when city workers
ked off their jobs to protest against
the persecution of Duich Jews by the
Navi occupiers of Holland.

Until that year, the Jewish quarter
had been one of ihe most popular
strolling places for Jew and gentile

alike, which was not true of most ghettos

in other E a cit With the

al of the пу, howev what 1
formerly been a thriving. tumulimons
community of 100,000 people simply
ceased to exist. Among the 10.000 who

Amsterdam from Nazi
Otto Frank. He, his Т

came back to
death camps wa

year-old daughter, Anne, and other mem
bes of the family hid with friends
in a house at 263 Prinsengracht for two

years,
them.

mil the Gestapo caught up with
Among the remnants ihat rhe
member of the I
discovered alter the War
writen by his daughter, Hor pitiful collec

m of faded. newspaper clippings сап
still be seen on the wall of the secret
Franks lived, OF
Is to victims of
lest house in Amster
dam—with its empty. silent rooms—is

Ml ıa draw a
ier refugees. who
and those who now
y asa haven for other, possibly
les momentous causes. Among Western

parallel between ¢
fled to Auisierd
see the €

capitals today, Amsterdam is the mos
tolerant and progressive of them all. a city
where people of all ages and tastes expe-

rience a life style and.
sense of freedom they d.

venturesume
not often find
chewhere Some would characterize this
freedom

sa form of depravity, but they
would be mistiken. Amsterdamers ae
not noticeably more dissolute than other
city dwellers: they tend. on the connaty,
to be a kindly
with a keenly developed iustinct for so
justice and а genuine respect for the
ghis of others to go the way they wish.
They might well have shown hos ad
to the thousands ol young
wanderers who have moved in among
them in recent years, but they have. on
the whole, shown them hospitality and
gener 1. Perhaps the most sig-
nificant clue of all to the personality of
their city lies in the fret that the patron
saint of Amsterdam—and of small dhil-
dren and young girls—is an old gentle
man who is said 10 have been the bishop
of Myra in A during
n Dutch. call
Sinterklaas. him
CL.

Compassionate people

the
him
Santa

The
We know

EXECUTIVE CHESS (et pon page 150)

Even the man who marries the major
stockholder's daughter must worry about
his fatherin-aw's selling the stock and
running off to Hawaii with a girl from
the stenographic pool—as happened sev-

crab years ago to an acquaintance of
mine, Executives today are more aware
of the p ls—and pratfalls—along the

time-honored paths. The result has been
the rise of what Chicago executive
reau C. Johnson calls the mo-
bile opportunist. “This is a person
Jolunson, “whose loyalty is to himself a
his carcer rather than to his com,
long as his company's. interests coincide
with his, he works like But the
minute he sees a better opportunity, he

jumps.

Few executives attain success without
making fairly frequent moves. Even the
tradi the insiders, those who
rem one ization, must

move frequently within the framework

of that ion to succeed, “Success
is no one-sided game,” says
Eugene E, Jennings, a business professor
at Michigan State University. “The suc-

s the twosided
game. No more is he content to sit and
watch as the corporation dictates all the
moves.”

"hose who make it big in business to-
day see their careers as а game similar in
many respects 10 chess, Wellestablished.
rules dictae play—and logic prevails.
Gambits may improve the player's posi-
tion on the board. The laws of probabil-
ity olt
make one move or another. Success ac-
ticularly to the player who can
think more than one move in advance
“The ultimate champion is one who, with
a sweep of his eve, visualizes the entire
board before him and plans every
that might help him reach victory, taking

TE me time the likely

cessful executive today p

decisions оп whethe:

п gover

crues pa

move

ecount at the s

moves of his opponents.
1 mple, the carcer progress
Sher-

e, fov e
n executive
a typ
dusted from college as

cer and, after several y
naval ollicer in World War Two, bee
alesman for a large electronics firm. In.
ms, he moved to corporate head-
sistant product manager.

of whom we'll call

mobile opportu

man

qua
"Two years later, on the verge of a second

ters a

er, Sherman

promotion to product mar

sat back to consider his next move.
Analyzing the career patterns of the
corpora

s top executives, he saw that
ring of promotions would
m by the age of 40 to divisio
general manager with a 540.000 a ye
salary. But, he had lost carcer time
the Navy. Several of his ре 1 entered
the organization at a younger age or had
advanced degrees and, he suspected,

few made slightly more money than he.
Some might switch to other jobs and
others might fail, but in all probability,
two or three could stand in his way
when it came time to make vice-pres
dent. This could slow him or even halt
him. If one proved more capable or
durable, he might block Sherman from
the presidency, his ultimate goal. This
would prove disastrous enough. but Sher-
man not only wanted to become presi
dent, he wanted that оћсе by the age of
40, the same age his calculations indicated
he would reach a gent ership
in his present corporation. So he ab.
doned his frontal assault and undertook
flanking m: He left the elec-
tronics firm and joined Boor Allen &
Hamilton as эр specialist
Boor Allen is consulting
firm that specializes in giving advice to
industry. I's similar, hierarchically speak-
ing, to an accounting firm or a law firm.

neuver.

Мапу consider two years in consulting
the equivalent of a masters degree in
business administration. After that peri-
od of time, most young consultants, un
les they think they can make partner,
return (or are returned) to industr
Sherman, however, remained а third
year with Booz Allen, moving
imo the firm's. executivescarch di
In dealing with the résumés of hundreds
ily paid executives, Sherman could
perceive even more clearly the patterns
that brought men to the top. At the age
of 30, he left Booz Allen, switching to а
job as marketing consultant on a large
conglomerate’s corporate staff.
Sherman's new job provided both ex-
posure and visibility. (Exposure is where

the right people can see you: visibility is
where you can see them) The conglom-
erate contained 30 divisions. Within а
year, Sherman spotted an of for

h
the di
equipment,

mself as marketing director of one of
isions that manufactured electroni
With only 200 employees,

193

PLAYBOY

d smallest in the organization.
manager headed
st fast enough to
ding on h

itr
A Gt-year-old genera
the division. Moving
maintain his balance,
consultant-bred expe an sug.
gested within the next the
general manager be retired and the div
sion phased out. The conglomerate chi
agreed and handed Sherman the assi
mpressive tide of
er. A year iner, with the
ed as planned, по more
gerships beckoned, So Sher-
lomerate

ment along with the
general man.

4 a liqu
general n
man job-hopped from the co
uring corporation in the
clerical industry. He became it
general manager, se lv a demotion.
had moved to a much larger Cor-
ion that grossed $60,000,000 an-
and had seven plants and 2200
employees. Therein lies an important
тше of executive chess: You can move
forward while appearing to move back-
ward.

Before accepting his new job, Sherman
had looked closely at the general manager
under whom he would work. He recog-
nized the man as being both extremely
capable and ambitious: like himself, а
mobile opportunist. Sherman reasoned
that within a dew years, this
cither move up within the corporation or
move out to a better job. In two years,
the latter happened. At 35. Sherman
became vice president and general man-
ager ob the division, Had he remained
with his original company, he wouldn't
have attained that rank before he turned.
40. By deft m 1 saved

m would

five years’ carcer time, the most precious
commodity in the game.

Most mobile opportuniss who icach
the top stay in one position a maximum
of 36 to 10 months. Early in their cuccis,
they shift even more often. They cither
move within their company or move out-
side. They understand that most man-
agerial positions can. be mastered within

а few years and to stay any long
Another

acer time. rule in d
You ca 1d by st i
Mobile executives have an 80-20 orienta-
ion toward most ро
Jennings. “By this is me
cent of any job counts for 80 percent of
the leaning. If they can master the 20
percent and move on to another job, the
Jearning curve is constantly rising. If they
were to stay in the job longer, they would
be completing the 80 percent of their
time that counts lor only 20 percent ol
the |

Sherman moved again, dropping
somewhat im title to vice-president of
marketin but with an S800,000.000. or-
gani move resulted in his first
cer setback, however. Within a
. the board chairman responsible for
g Sherman soll his stock in the co
poration. The traditionalist might have
remained in his position, coment with his
high salary and ousting to luck, but asa
mobile opportunist, Sherman. recognized
the danger inherent in his position: His
sponsor had eft him stranded. He might
ick with the new ownership, but sup-
pose they decided t sponsor their own
group of managers? He could be side-
lined or even fired. Rule: Move from the

Im going to stay a virgin until get mar
fourleen—whichever comes first.

board at your convenience, not that of
the other players.

As a former executivesearch specialist,
Sherman knew the secrets of running a
job-hunting campaign, He began to drop
hints of his avail
Allen friends. He circulated job résumés
to the right employment agencies and
search л «сота represent-
ed on his résumé glowed with an inner
sheen, as though sculpte "
cafisman: four. years ur nd de-
velopment with a large elecironies corpo-
ration; three years consulting with
Booz Allen; three. years with a conglom-
erate, rising to division general mar
five years with another corporation, ris-
ing to vice president and general manage
of а larger division; and his current vice-
presidency with an $800.000,000 о
lion. A "steady progresion upward in
size of job. Enough mob
onstrate breadth of exper
out indicating promiscuity. The proper
combi ns, balls and track
shoes. At 39. Sherman became president
of а $160,000,000 company.

"The average executive, having risen to
the pinnacle of power, might have re-
laxeid, content to count his stock options
and deferred income. Mobile opportun-
ists, however, ge executives,
They reach the top by asaming risks
They resemble mountain climbers in that
they don't look back: they blank from
ls the abyss below, the fear of

ns. Though
he i» now a president, his company
dominated by a 74-year-old chairman of
the board whose family owns most of the
stock. No eligible daughters are in sight.
А 34-year-old grandson now runs the in-
termtional division from an ойе in
London but ev y can be expected to
retum and exercise his dioit du seigneur
So, at 44, Sherman has his feelers out for
a new position. Not jus any new po-
sition, He plans to become president of a
400.000.000. organization.

Sherman's rapid rise to the presidency

can be attributed to his having viewed

his cweer as а two-sided game. This is

understood more readily by the current
neration than by their parents. Ha

Roberis, a counselor with the employ-

ment agency Cadillac Associates, notes
that this generation gap is reflected. in
résumés submitted while seeking emplo

ment. “The old ng 50 vate
in their résumés: “This is what I е
done. This is what E can do lor you
The new breed wams to kuow what the
cm do for them. Their
that their new employer should
omething to offer. They're not
coming hat in hand anymor
write: I am looking for an aggressive,
productive type of n ment, well or
that will
Then they
"The new breed of executiv

ар.

tends to

be better educated than its predecessors.
s made between 1948 and 1953
eight percent of company
pre dents had master's degrees. By 1965,
almost 40 percent had master's degrees
wd 21 percent had doctorates. Projec-
indicate that in the early 19705, 60
1 of company presidents will have
s degrees and 30 percent, doctor.
ates, But while intelligence as measured
by degrees seems to be one prerequi-
site for business success, intelligence as
measured by tests is not necessarily ex-
pected or required, According to Charles
MeDermid, president of Management
Psychologists: “If you have ап IQ. of
110 to 115, which is below the average
for college graduates, you have all the
mental equipment you need to succeed
in business, or in politics, or in almost
anything except longl tivity such as
nudear physics.” McDermid feels the am-
Ditious turtle will reach the finish line
faster than the poorly motivated

The successful mobile opportunist
boasts good health and stamina. Physical
strength plays a more important part in
the game of executive chess than many
people suspect. “A businessman has to be
very healthy to survive,” says Pearl Meyers
of the executiverceruiting firm Handy
Associates. "We see executives walk in
here having just stepped off a jet plane
or having been in business meetings all

day, amd they're always camying heavy
dur they still look like Prince
The winners in executive chess also

possess emotional stamina. But perhaps
an even more important attribute
McDermid, is that the successful business-
man be carcer centered rather than
1 / perso тегей. For example,
family / personal-centered
works i у
or а transl ans he no longer
ski on weekends, Or maybe hell stay
his home town so his wife can visit her
mother, A carccr centered i
contrast, will rank success
of weekend pleasure, and he will have
selected a mate who isn’t hung up with
her mother. He may be psychologically
imbalanced in the sense of hav
McDermid calls an executive neurosis,
but he also will tend to succeed. “Не
won't care whether he's working in ski
country or in Siberia as long as it ad-
vances his career," he si
But having intel a and
ambition may mot be sufficient if the
prospective corporation president fails to
cer success as a game
novement is governed by rational
ndom bel - Good luck.
in business or in football comes froi
being in the right place at the right
lime, so th the other team fum-
bles, you the |
rly, in poker, you won't be dea
every time, but when you get thi

should know how to maximize your pot.

The ambitious young executive inter
ested in pot maximization might study a
perceptive book by Eugene Jennings ti-
ted The Mobile Manager. Jennings has
populated his volume with’ such charac-
ters as the mobile hicrarch, the crucial
svbordinate and the shelf sitter, but
the vital section for the executive-
chess playe vastly complex appendix
in which he outlines the science of mo-
bilography. Promotions, transfers and
demotions are reduced to a series of
mathematical terms, complete with. point
Thus, the career path of a single
man moving upward in industry might
be convened into a symbology that re-
sembles this; TULULUSLUS.

The key mobilographic symbols
T, U, L and S. T stands for technical.
‘This identifies a nonmanagerial position
ny kind, such as salesman, engineer,
)tist or accountant. U means up,
promotion to a position of higher au
thority or difficulty. L is lateral, а 0
fer to a job on the same level carrying
the same degree of authority and respor
sibility. S means stay, remaining in one

nd nor receiving à promotion

values.

“Dear diary:

The four basic symbols have the follow-
ing point values: T — 10; U L=3;
S=2.

The peron who moves from his
technical (T) job to a managerial posi-
tion, where he commands at least two

other people, receives 10 points, It is a
one-shot bonus, which, for example, the
Procter & Gamble sales trainee receives
when he leaves work in the field to
become an assistant product ma г

. From this point
promotions, such
(U) to product manager,
apiece. If the executive transters late
(L) to another job—say, from the Lilt
count to the Duz account—but doesn’t
move upward, he receives 3 points. A
person who stays (S) in one position for
longer than average time earns only 2
points. Should he remain two or three
times the period it takes the average exec-
utive to move out and up. he becomes
formulized as S. S, etc. Jennings refers
to these arrested individuals as shelf sit
ters: They're waiting for the corpor
10 move them rather than moving tli
selves.

Consider how mobilography

Today, Wendy returned my

tie-dyed shirt and my Ché poster and told me to find

someone else to repress and exploit.”

195

Г)

PLAYBO

196

utilized to analyze the career of Sher
man, our original mobile opportunist.
Sherman's shift. from salesman to
ant product manager earned him a T
(10). When he moved to product ma
ager, he added U (5) He quit the
company to join Booz Allen, a second
consecutive U (5). His movement with-
in Booz Allen to executive search rated L
(3), as did his move to consultant on the
conglomerate staff (3). His next two shifts
within the conglomerate, resulting in a
general managership, were both U (5 + 5

10). Moving from the conglomerate to
the corporation, he dropped in title but
rose in size of job, thus L (3). He nex
came vice-president and gener: падет,
another U (5). His shift to vice-president
of marketing with the 5800,000,000 or-
ganization rated L (3). He made his
ultimate U (5) when hc became president,
The mobilographic chart of Sherman's
career thus n be stated: TUULLU-
ULULU. This translates to 52 points. In
the 16 years it took him to reach the top,
he averaged 3.25 points a year, a phe-
nomenal rate. He moved so rapidly that
he failed to accumulate a single 5, or stay.

Ti would be wrong for anyone to |
with the single purpose of
ng mobility points at the rate
of three a усаг, or he might simply find
himself sliding continuously sideways
id never. upward, Mobilography oper-
ates better as a retrospective science. You
can more easily analyze your past p
tems than predict your future ones.
Moreover, you can more easily apply
mobilography to the careers of others
than ro yourself. Should the young elec-
tronics executive analyze the
20 presidents in his held and discover
that, like Sherman, they had accumula
ed 52 points and a presidency by the
time they were in their early 40s, he could
asume that to be the pattern for succes
within his industry. Yet someone in 1
ing or steel or food products might
ikirly audit the chief executives around
and discover that only 30 10 40 points
were necessary for success, and at a dif-

his сатсег
accumul;

ferent age. Patterns vary from industry
10 industry aud [rom company to com-
pany. The person who is able to under-

stand this and relate the mathematic
probability of success to his own c
movements becomes the one most. likely
to succeed in executive chess

The exceutivechess player, furthers
more, can adapt the science of mobilop-
raphy 10 aid him in deciding whether to
job-hop or remain in place н for
а promotion. Take as an example the
cweer of Tom, an executive with а
food company we'll call General Prod-
was. He joins the company at 22 a
spends two yeas as а bakery-prod-
ucts engineer. Then top тапа
invites him to shift to the corporate staff
(1), where he becomes
uct manager for Quik-Rise Flour, Aft-

ег

nd w

cr six months, he moves up (U) to product.
manager on that account, and six months
later becomes product manager on an
account that produces three times the in-
come of the earlier опе and involves more
responsibility (U). Two years later, he
shifts laterally (L) to a similar position
with Super Flakes, still within the Ger
eral Products marketing group. The fol-
lowing year, however, he moves ош of
marketing (L) to work as assistant 10
the oganizational general manager. (A
second kueral move at this point might
have indicued that Tom was being
plateaued. Instead, his company merely
wanted to groom him for a higher pos
tion by giving him more experience in a
related held.) After one year, he receives
a promotion (U) to marketing manager
1 the foods division. Tom stays in
js new job three years, at which point he
2. boasts a 530,000 salary and is one of
several candidates for the next upward
position: director of marketing, for foods.
Armed with a knowledge of mobilo
raphy, Tom analyzes the graph of hi
carcer as: TUULLU. He has accumulat-
ed 31 points, or an average of 3.1 points
per year spent with his company. But
this knowledge does him no good unless
he also knows the track records of those
who have preceded him in the position
he covets. By some cautious snooping,
he obtains the cueer records of the
past 20 executives io have become
directors of marketing within General
Products. The typical director of market-
ng, he learns, had scored an average of
36 points in 12 yeas. Tom thus can
make а numerical comparison with his
predecessors, and he learns that they
scored am average of 36 points in 12
years, He now can see that if he receives
the promotion im two years, he will re-
ve five points for the U and thus
mitch the record of his predecessors.
Should he receive the promotion sooner,
зау tomorrow, he will better their pace
and thus be more likely 10 receive
nother promotion, to vice-president. Con-

га

sidering his ык average (3.1

some 17009 5 ol success. Tom €
two years for the promotion aud still
E

n pace.

But should he wait? Not necessuily
Rather than either job-hop or wait in his
present position, he might consider a
lateral move. He could, for instance,
obtain two years of marketing experi-
ence with the company's. international
division, When, two years liter, he re-
ceives the director of marketing job, he
will bave acumulued 39 points—3
points more th:
he will jump ahead of their pace and
more likely be first in line for the nest
promo to vice president.

This assumes, however, that Tom's op-
ponent across the executive chesboard

n his predecessors. Thus

is not playing the sume game. In reality,
the corporation might be compared w

the chess master who accepts simultancous
challenges {rom а number of novice play-
ers. Two dozen others may sit beside Tom,
attempting t0 outmaneuver the master,
па one of them may checkmate him.
To avoid this, "Tom also must analyze
the career patterns of his peers. Should
he uncover several or even one with a
gher mobilographic average, he may
assume that he’s behind in the race to
the top. Suppose his best friend, Fred,
also entered the company ten у
but, because of a different promotion
pattern, has accumulated 34 points to
Tom's 31. Fred's 3.4 average would rank

head of Tom and increase the
ihood of his receiving the next

п. But suppose at the same

time, Tom succeeds in moving later-
ally into the international division; those
3 points pull him cven with Fred. On

the other hand, Fred may anticipate
Tom's move and ask for the internation
assignment himself, Since he already
has the lead, he is more likely to get the
Unless Tom can counter
need to leave
the company or else resign himself to
aveling forever in Fred's shadow.

phy, however, should be
considered more compass than map. Tt
tells you the direction in which you're

going without necessarily indicating the
h you should go. A
rising executive who becomes overly ob-
sessed with numerical relationships may
forget that, ultim jormance dé-
termines success.
the guy who sits down and says, "Нее"
спу where I'm going to be at 40,
says executive recruiter Ward Howell,
Moreover, the executive-chess player
must not ignore intuition. Regardless of
what the charts tell you about your rela-
tive position in the hierarchy, if y
sense that position about to deteriorate,
bet your hunch: Look for another job.
As we have indicated, mobilography op-
erates better in systematizing the past
than in predicting the future.

In fact. the executive with the highest
mobilographic rating midway through
his carcer may not succeed at the end.
Eugene Jennings feels the most vulner-
able executive may be one with a pattern
such as this TUDUUU. This TU,
vidual has had a continuous series of
upward promotions w ет
moves allowing him time to consolidate
his knowledge. He may propel himself
ously upward on the crest of su
cess after success, following the 80-20 rul
that 80 percent of the job can be learned
in 90 percent of the Bu
works only to а point. With exch rapid
promotion, he leaves another 20 percent
of the job unleamed. At some critical
point im his career, this accumulation.
of deficits may provide a gap in his

indi-

hono

con

ime. this

uoo E S EE лз
IED JIMMY. OR IN SITON HIM, BUT HE

nA OUTSTANDING OR INTERESTING: NOT FOND oF BIRDS AND THEY

WOULD FEELTHIS AND GO AWAY.

A e

T feo
ALL INALL, IT WAS NoT A ONE TUESDAY A PRINCESS WHO HAD
8 BEENOUT LOOKING FOR FROGS To KISS +.. SHE HOISTED UP HER SKIRT
Une SAN JIMMY ANB BEING TIRED... ама ден

€

A pv

IT WAS SORT OF LIKE A MAGICAL KISS, SO JUST THEN THE KING AND HIS MEN

INA FEW MINUTES JIMMY TURNED INTO CAME OVER THE HILL, SAW WHAT WAS HAPPENING;
A HANDSOME BUT DULL YOUNG MAN! AND MISINTERPRETED EVERY THING.

ИММҮ WAS THROWN INTO A BOTTOMLESS
prn AND THE KING THOUGHT SERIOUSLY MORAL: IT IS BETTER To SLEEPLIKE A LOG-
ABOUT PUTTING HIS DAUGHTER IN A CONVENT, THAN TO HAVEA BAD SEX LIFE.

197

PLAYBOY

executive knowledge into which he may
plunge to ultimate oblivion. As а con-
sultant for such corporations as IBM,
recommends that TU,s be
"outspanned" to lateral or less critical
positions for a year or two as a sort of
sabbatical after rising too fast.

The TU, who scrambles rapidly up
the executive ladder may think that he's

asking for promotions, but he's actually
endangering his position on the board.
In rushing forward with his queen and
knights, he may leave his king defense-
less. When the next promotion beckons,
instead of grasping it, he should sit back,
light his pipe and consider the conse-
quences. Are there other moves on the
board? The best one for him may actually
be lateral rather than upward. Take as
m example a young chemist well call
Chuck. After receiving his Ph.D. in chem-
ical engineering at 97, he becomes a
research assistant with a Tage pharma-
ceutical corporation. Within a year, the
lab director assigns him four rescarch
ssistants and the task of finding a better
birth-control pill Chuck displays great
ty in managing his assistants. Thus,
ing year, when the assistant
director of the laboratory leaves, Chuck
gets his job. Two ye ‚ he becomes
director of а similarsized laboratory whose
main function centers on aspiri
As laboratory director, Chuck has risen
as high as he can go in the pharmaccuti-
cal corporation while wearing his long
white coat. Two years later, at 33, he
moves to the corporate staff as assistant
manager of the pill division. The next
step upward will be to division m:

feel uneasy about the speed of his ascent.
Rather than rising too slowly, he's been
rising too fast. In addition, a shift to
mouthwash would mean learning a new
product line. If he f: to succeed in
mouthwash, he may ruin his carccr. At
the same time, Chuck doesn’t want to
rem his present spot much longer,
for fear of losing momentum, Examin-
ing all openings in the pharmaceutical
corporation, Chuck sees a second possi-
bility: He could become assistant manager
iu the tooth-paste division, This would
constitute a lateral move. Should he move
up to mouthwash, laterally to tooth paste
Or stay Is? He decides to establish
а set of point values for cach of his
three choices and determine his
mathematically,

Chuck assigns mobilographic values to
his choices: 2 points if he stays (S) in
pills; 3 points if he moves laterally (L)
to tooth paste; 5 points if he moves
upward (U) to mouthwash. He then sits
down and figures the possibilities for
success in cach of these three areas. He
already knows how to function as an
assistant manager in pills, so his chance
of success there is 100 percent. If he mov
to tooth paste, he already knows 80 per-
cent of the job from having functioned at
that level, so he judges that to be his
probability of success. If he jumps to
mouthwash. however, he must cope with
not only new functions but a strange
product line He rates his chances 50
percent. If he multiplies the mobilo-
graphic number by the percentage num-
ber, he thus obtains a point index for the
value of each job:

al move offers him the highest point
alue, so he will ask for the job in tooth
paste. Since an executive can promote
himself sideways more easily than up-
ward, he most likely will get the job.

Chuck based his decision on the as-
sumption that pills, tooth paste and
mouthwash exist as cqual entities within
the pharmaceutical corporation. In ac
tuality, though, this rarely occurs, which
brings us to another rule: Each company
has a favorite function.

The favorite function usually is the
division generating the greatest profits or
the biggest challenges. Thus, in the past,
most top General Foods executives have
come up the Maxwell Hou Coffee
route. “If you're in Procter & Gamble.”
comments onc executive recruiter, "and.
nagers has
n Duz and none with
y peanut butter, consider it а hint.
That doesn't mean you can't make it
from Jiffy, but it will enhance your
chances if you can get Duz brand c
perience.”

Aside from vorite functions, most
corporations have favorite disciplines.
Thus, at Procter & Gamble and General
Mills, marketing men rise to the top, and
financial analysts succeed at I. I. & T.
They also rise fast at Ford, though the
top job frequently goes to an engineer.
At Gencral Electric, men rise through
the marketing area but usually go further
if they have an engineering background.
In Chuck's pharmaceutical corporation,
the men who sell the pills may ascend
over the chemists who devise them. Thus,
Chuck's best route may be through neither

Within two years, he spots an opening at Pills .........-... 2 x 100 = 200 ^ tooth paste nor mouthwash but out to a
that level in the mouthwash division. Tooth paste .......3 x 80 = 940 ifferent organization where chemists
He knows that if he pushes for tat Mouthwash .......5 x $0 — 150 reach the top.

job. he'll probably get it. But he begins to

The choice becomes obvious. The later-

s gone through

UP THE ORGANIZATION CHART: how quickly you rise to the top depends on the inner rhythms of your industry

RAILROADS

AND PUBLIC UTILITIES

BANKING AND MOST
MANUFACTURING

You can expect to work your way up slowly. Youth

The move is quick up to the middle-moncgement

is suspect. After two or three decodes, upper monogemenr
will feel o little more comfortable about hoving you around.

spots, then slower as you slog your woy up through
ocres of assistantships to the presidential suite.

198

cycles in which differently skilled men
have tended to land the high-level posi-
tions. These cycles coincide roughly with
the decades and relate to the problems
of the period. In the Forties, business
men wortied mostly about producing
sufficient goods to satisfy demand, so pro-
duction men rose most rapidly. In the
Fifties, with an abundance of goods, the
problem was how to sell them; market-
ing men took charge. In the Sixties, as
more and more companies merged with
or acquired other firms, financial men
came to the fore. Ideally, a corporation
president today should. in addition to
having general business experience, have
worked lor a С. P. А. firm and also have a
law degree. Some observers feel that m
power problems will become critical in
the Seventies, thus look for personnel
types to shine, Data-processing men may
own the decade of the Fighties, though
today a data-processing specialist tops
out ar $30,000 a a systems manag-
cr. He se he

works with m. not men. Н does
little good, however, to know that this is
the decade of your specialty if you are a

financial analyst working for a company
whose presidems have majored in busi-
ness administration and law. The skilled
executiveschess. player, of couse, would
never find himself in this position—or, if
he did, at least would know the exact
moment to move to another job.

And he would follow the earlier rule:
Move trom the board at your conven-
ience, not that of the other players. “Tt
has to be before it becomes an obvious
decision,” says Tom Ledbetter of Cadillac
Associates. "The next employer needs to
feel he is seducing the man he hires. So
many people wait until the ax falls or
they're at an impasse before putting their
talents on the market. They spend irre-

uievable time getting relocated, The
minute they're not up to their progress
chart, they should make their availability
known.”

An astute executive recognizes the signs
indicating either progress or s
At any point, he can examine the
and monitor his upward speed. Suppose

you decide to become president of a
ha

manufacturing company and, ng
read that this is the decade for financial
acumen, select finance as your route to
the top. At the University of Illinois, you
major in accounting, then enter the Har-
vard Business School for а master’s de-
gree. You become an auditor with the
accounting firm Price Waterhouse (care-
fully stecring clear of tax work in that
firm, because that would brand you as a
technician). After 30 months. one of the
senior partners at Price Waterhouse in-
vites you to remain permanently with the
firm, but you want to pursue your

in industry, "One of our clients, the
XYZ Company, needs an accounti

mager,” says the senior partner. “I'll
же if [ cm get you the job." You
get the job. In two yeas, XYZ pro-
motes you 10 assistant comptroller. Two
and a half years pass amd you know
cording to your progress chart,
the next six months you must
become comptroller with XYZ
or leave. You can stay and try
to become comptroller, but if you fail,
you will lose career time and may even
have to exit abruptly. You Gin move to
another company. but for the rest of
your Gucer, you may wonder whether or
not the job would have been yours.
Should you stay or leave? Mobilography
functions as an effective science for system-
tizing mobility patterns, bur it neces-
sarily ignores the realities of company
politics. Consider how you might con-

within

struct a political chart to guide you in
your movements.
st, call your secretary and have her
cancel your appointment for Junch with
the other executives. Next, reach into
the first drawer of your desk and
select one sheet of bluelined accountin
paper. Write the number 100 at the top.
That represents the bonus award for just
being you. You figure yourself worth at
least that many points. [100]

The first index you need to consider is
money: how much you cam compared
with others at your level. Since you work

in financial department, you will
have easy access to such figures, but you
should know anyway approximately

what others around you make. For every
1000 a year you m above the aver
age, add one point. For every 51000
below, subtract one point. (Let's assume
you m. 000, compared with thc
590.000 average for othe
tions within XYZ Comp:
points) [103]

You also need to consider your salary
relative to those in other companies. As
it happens, you've just received Harvard
Business Schools five-year review ol
graduates salaries. Add or subtract one
point for each 51000 increment above or
below average. (The average 1963 H. B.S
graduate carns $18,000 in finance, so you
get five more points.) [108]

List on the left side of the paper the
names of the executives with whom you
would have lunched today if you hadn't
l in to plot your carcer. For every
person on that list above you in rank,
add one point. For every person below,
subtract one point. (Ralph, Jim and Bill
ch your level in seniority, but Ted
and Bob have vice-presidential rank: two

points.) [110]

For the past 24 hours, you have logged

ny, thus three

ADVERTISING, PUBLIC
RELATIONS AND PUBLISHING

The youth profession:
trouble. Motion, any motion, is essential ond the most.

late 30s, you're

If you're not at or neor the top by your

likely president will be a bright light now in a neighboring company.

199

PLAYBOY

200

every visitor through your office door.
Score one point for every executive of
higher rank who crossed your threshold.
JC he sat down to talk, you cam an
additional point for every five minutes
he remained in your office up to à max
mum ol five points. Assess no penalty
points for visits from lower-level execu-
tives; but, if one sat down to talk, subtract
а point for every five additional minutes
you let him stay. Maximum penalty: five
points. (Ted and Bob cach visited you
yesterday and Bob remained an hour to
discuss an important stockholder presen
tation: seven points.) [117]

Consult your chart ol phone calls
made within the past 24 hours to higher:
level executives. Subtract one point. for
every time the secretary said you would
be called back. Add two points for each
time you received a direct connection. If
the executive you called was the presi-
dent, add two points if he calls you back
If your call gocs through to him, award
yourself five bonus points. (You placed.

t tough cach time,
except to the president, who called you
back: 12 Points) [129]

Reach into your desk for the company
wl check the box score of
the executive softball game played at last
picnic. What happened when
the president came to bat while you were
pitching? Subtract one point if he stuck
out. Score no points if you waiked him.
M he hit the ball, score one point for

five calls and

house or

summer

Manila
ШО

"Everything about your life

each base he reached. If vou hit him
with a pitched ball, subtract five points.
(The president made second base on an
error, but you have to share credit with
the shortstop who commited it one
point.) [130]

You scored 130 points—about what it
will take to assure your eligibility for the
comptroller’s job. Merely breaking even
in penalty vs. award points may not
suffice, since the job should be obviously
yours to. justify endangering carcer time
waiting for it. “If in every advance you
make you have to compete with two or
ıt of
ASO-

that H

sudi caliber
next job is unquest

OF course, ап executive may be per-
fectly eligible for the next position, yet

never attain it, М the comptroller of
XYZ Company has 15 yews’ service and
ten more until he retires, tear up your
score shect and phone an employment
ney. The executive who plays the
game well should seek openings at two-
and three-year intervals, either within his
present company or without. Moreover,
he needs to take advantage of these
is they occur, since the ulti-
of executive chess i: When
fails to move, he forfeits the

a player

me.

seems so wonderful:
great apartment, greal clothes, [un trips, fun friends—
tell me, Jane—ahat's Tyler like in bed?"

MINI REVOLUTION

(continued from page 130)

than the Volkswagen. Jim Hall thought
the ride spongy- which may reflect the
race drivers preference for fairly taut
springing—and objected to the cars
tendency to “hook in”; that is, go to
oversteer when the throttle was lifted in
a corner. The Ausin was mot really
stable on a straigh 1 thought the
amount of engine noise and vibration
excessive, and final data did show that
only three of the cars were louder at low
speed. For urban use, these flaws are not
critical and will, for some, be overweight-
ed by the excellent boulevard ride, good
mileage, ample load space and low price.
I liked the car well enough, driving i
round Midland streets, but 1 didn't
enjoy pushing it hard on Rattlesnake,
because performance was inadequate for
that kind of wok. The test car had а
manual ans mission. If 1 were buying, I
would take the automatic, simply on the
principle that in anything but a genuine
high-performance motorcar, manual is a

bore.

wit

APRI SPORT COUPE. A heavy swath
through the European market has been
cut by the Capri and it will do well on
this side of the water, For some tastes,
the Capri has a flamboyant air: fat bulge
on the enginecompartment lid, thick
crease along the sides, simulated Drake-
cooling scoops alt the doors, hi ned
vacciype gasfiller cap. However, our
consensus was that it’s a sharp, good-
looking motorcar. И was one of two fast
сы of the Jor ar 99 miles per hour and in
the top group in acceleration: 15.8 sec
onds to 60 mph. Only one car, the Vega,
outstopped it, and only two, the Opel
id VW, equaled it at Ol £ and 132
feet from 60 mph to standstill, This was
ın automatic, working off a well-placed
‘Thar lever, and if handled with reason
ble regard for the workings of the device,
it offered the soughtafter nubinelike gear
progression, The Capri had а number of
insignificant but beguiling detail. clock
mounted conveniently on the shift con-
sole, for example, and a genuine, made-
in-England gooseneck Butler map lamp.
Performance considered, 274 miles to the
lon of gasoline is commendable.

We all liked the Capri and по one
entered a heavy criticism of it. The
2000-c.c. engine would be my choice, and
the automatic, but Jim Hall opted for
the 4speed. He particularly liked the
hand je, competent suspension
and good straight-line stopping, and was
not put off by the slightly excessive u
dersteer that we all noticed.

DODGE corr. Mitsubishi has been selling
the Colt in the home islands for a while

and began peeling off 3000 to 4000
units a month for us at the first of the
year. Good things are made by Mitsul
shi, the Nikon camera for one, and the
house is the biggest corporate entity in
Japan, where anti- go regulations
аге not very an itsubishi is in
ships. oil, airplanes, йал insurance,
One would expect the Colt to be a good,
well-worked-out kind of automobili nd
it is. Two of the figures we charted on it
were exemplary—it squeezed the Volks-
wagen hard on mileage, at 32, and only
the biggerengined Vega could outaccel-
e it, and that not by much.

There are four body styles: 2-door hard-
top and 4«lcor sedan, station wagon and.
2-door coupe, all running a 1600-cc. en-

gine, small but strong. single overhead
cam, hemispheric combustion chambers
and 5-bearing aankshaft, Devices usually

thought of as optional are standard here:
adjustable steering wheel, til-back seats

(except in the coupe), 2speed wind-
shield wipers, a good closed-window ven-
tilation

system. There are extras: а

g and automatic transmission.
The interior is remarkably handsome, ex-
cept for the trunk, and doesu't look at all
“economy.

The Colt is fast all the way through
the range—too fast, J felt, for its ha
dling waits. Braking was poor, with
frontwheel lockup and rearaxle hop
casy 10 come by, plus overstcer in hard
corners. The variableratio steering is
pleasant for ordinary use. The Colt is a
ndsome little motorcar and Га have

Jiked it a good deal had it given me
more of a sense of security.

PLYMOUTH CRICKET. At first sight, the
name plate and flow on

the side of the Cricket strike one as the
cheapest-looking notion since fake-wood
station wagons, but, b nd the
number of power VWs cruising
around, Plymouth may know something
we don't. At any rate, here we have the

flowe

Avenger, а brisk mover on the British
market, its 70-horsepower four-cylinder
engine pushing one body style, the 4-
door sedan. Detroit publici

soned experts in doubl
and a fine example of the art comes with
the Cricket press material: “Designers
atribute the distinctive styling of the
Cricket to the fact that the саг was con-
ceived solely as a 4-door sedan, not as
an adaptation of a design for a hardtop.
Thus, the styling is free of the com-
promises that are necessary when the same
basic body shell is used for different con-
figurations.” Well, one body style any-
way, pleasing to the eye and capable of
transporting four humans in reasonable
comfor

‘The interior is not an unalloyed de-
light; there is a good deal of molded

“Miss Barth, I've just gone through an agonizing

reappraisal of our relationship!”

plastic and rubber matting in view. Con-
trols are handy, except for what Plymouth
calls “distinctively designed pods on the
sides of the steering column” tor lights,

washers and wipers and so on. These,
and the ignition steering lock, are per-
haps not really Байет, they just take a

few hours of learning with the owner's
manual on your lap. Gening in and out
of strange automobiles all day does tend
to build an understanding of the short
fuse that is the outstanding characteristic
of parkinglot attendants. Not being
mnemonists, none of us even tried to
remember on which car the transmission.
had to be in reverse before the key
would stop squealing or which one man-
dated the key out, not in, to unlock the
steering. As for salety harness fastening
methods—no hope. A logical mind new
to the problem might wonder why we
cannot have standardization of these
gimmicks, plus uniform dashboard in-
strumentation and shift patterns, but
you and | know that permanent world
peace will be easier to come by.

The Cricket’s braking power im-
pressed all of us as extraordinary. Jim
Hall remarked it first, with the caveat

that the fronts (power disks) were a bit
100 strong. 1 was surprised, when we had
the data, to see that the Capri, VW
and Opel were better, if only by a little,
at 91 к, and the Vega considerably better
at 95—the Cricket had somehow felt
suonger. Our car had a banshee howl
n the differential, which 1 choose to be-
lieve was atypical. and а most alarming
groan, with accompanying stiffness in the
steering column, plus a reluctance to find
center and мау there. Otherwise, the
handling was exemplary and we all cn-

joyed driving it. I thought the Cricker's
roadability fabulous when 1 noticed that
I was going into the Mexican at 86 mph.
Disillusionment came later, when the
speedometer proved to be the wildest of
all: it showed 87 for a true 80, Still, if
that's the worst thing that can be said
about the cur.

DATSUN эю. The Japanese automobile
industry is the youngest in the world,
and, next to the American, the strongest:
Since 1956, production has doubled
every three years! The Datsun is pro-
duced by the Nissan Motor Company,
part of a huge complex of vehicle makers.

N turned out 1,975,000 Datsuns
last year. so the make, while fairly new to
us, has been thoroughly debugged. In
1969, the Japanese exported only 14 pei
cent of production and they are turning
cars ош so fast, to meet a steadily increas-
ing home demand, that their own doom
criets point to 1974, when they'll be
putting 3.300.000 cars a year on а wholly
inadequate road network, as Ш
sannation. Thus, as in so many other

g» the Japanese will get there—

san

thi
this case, a nationwide bumper-to-bump-
er trafic jam—before anyone else. (Pre-
sumably, Tokyo will have before th

time made а new breakthrough in poll
tion control: Even now, city traflic poli
men take pure oxygen at regular intervals.)
This farsighted view, plus the work ob-
sesion of the average Japanese, who
makes even Germans look like dedicated.
loafers, accounts for the Japanese export
drive, so formidable that it has suuck
fear into as sturdy a type as Henry Ford
II. Incidentally, Nissan has been re-
ported as intending to build a passenger

201

PLAYBOY

car using the steam-powered engince—
it cooks Freon instead of water—devel-
oped by Wallace Minto of Sarasota.

The sophistication of the Datsun 510
reflected in items such as its expensive
double-universal independent rear s
pension that, unlike the basic swing-axle
layout, keeps both wheels vertical rela-
tive to the ground over any road surface,
and in interior noise level In the low-
speed range, it was the quietest car we
had, only 4 points louder than the com-
parison Cadillac. It has а really working
flow-through ventilation system and
three adults can n back without
scemly intimacy. Handling is good i
not extraordinary under stress and the
al ride is excellent.

nor

FIAT 850 seort coure. If this motorcar
ad a Made-in-Patagonia plate screwed
to the fire wall, you would sull know
stantly that irs Italian. Perhaps not
from the outside, but once the door is
shut and you're looking through the
picrced-spoke steering wheel at the san-
zed tachometer and speedometer
‚ once you hear the four-cylinder
engine, all 903 ccs of it, muttering away
behind you, then it has to be. The body
is deceptive; there's nothing extraordi:
marylooking about it, save the extreme
rear chop, but, as the chart clearly shows,
lot of wind-tunnel hours have gone
ito it. The Fiat is a rarity: You can put
your foot flat on the floor, and leave it
there all day, without feeling you're
throwing away gasoline. (When you do
fill it, eight gallons is overflow.) The
seats are comfortable and bucketed, but
^s tight behind the wheel for a big
Jim Hall, considerably over six
n't really find the combina-
s a lot of pedal offset to the
right, which takes getting used to, so
much so that several times, going into а
corner, 1 caught. myself looking down to
be sure Т wouldn't put both feet on Ше
clutch and nothing on the brake. Like
most rearengined cars, it will show
straight-line instability in a cross wind.
but not enough to be a nuisance, and
final oversteer if it’s really pushed in
a comer. The car is low enough to
suggest, for the first 50 miles or so, that.
you're sitting on the road, but after
that, you forget about it, probably be-
cause you're marveling at the amount. of
push coming out of 58 horsepower. Italian
engineers have never worried a lot about
noise, and the Fiat was one of the three
loudest, level with the Pinto at 15 mph
and only а couple of points quieter than
the Vega.

In a sense, the vehicle was outside our
Pattern, being oriented more toward
touring than urban use. When 1 had a
chance to run en the open road for fun,

ith 14 cars to choose from, 1 usually

took the but when I went home at

night, 1 drove something else.

GREMLIN. On first sight, I liked the Grem-
lin better than anything else. I was
good company: the Gremlin was Don
Gates's favorite, too. Cameron Argetsin-
ger. who had said from the beginning
that the Vega was number one, called us
both daft. Т st think the. Gremlin a
splendid-looking car; the rear-end treat-
ment, I insist, is stunning; and I will not
back off on dandy little touches such as
the inset steps that make the roof rack an
easy reach and the big dash mounted
Jock for the glove compartment. (The
test cir carried. every option but radar.)
Once it’s under way, however, Ше Grem-
Jin is less enchanting. For example, the
power stecting is pure overkill, all power
and no feel whatsoever. At Midland, we
had the Sspeed manual transmission,
an archaic arrangement without synchro-
mcsh on fist or reverse. To say the
Gremlin won't stop is an exaggeration,
but 183 feet from 60 mph is a long time
to wait and wonder if you're going to hit
the wall or not. In righthand comers,
the engine invariably cut out, presuma-
bly due to fuel starvation, Pulling 135
horsepower out of its six cylinders, it
took the Gremlin pretty quickly out of
the hole—14.3 seconds to 00 mph—and
it was faster on top than anything save
the Capri. The inevitable trade oft for
this performance was in fuel consump-
tion, 25.6 miles to the gallon, not г
bad in the overall scheme of thing
lowest of the cars we had on hand.

I still like the way the rear w
opens to take luggage. Granted, 1 might
not enjoy that long lift over the sill, but
it certainly docs look dandy, rising light-
ly on its countersprings.

OPEL i000 sPOkT COUPE. Opel is one of the
monument names. There've been Opels
on the road since 1898 and, by 1912, the
m had made 10,000 cars; in 1935, it
was the biggest producer in Europe. It
neral Motors family now. The
s for years been thought rather
nd stodgy, but Opel used to swing,
and when Gary Gabelich did 622 mph in
a natural gas rocket car last autumn,
long memories recalled Fritz yon Opel,
who pushed а rocket car to 125 mph in
the late Twenties. The "doctor'scar" im-
age is changing now: The Opel CT has
had good acceptance here.

"The Opel 1900 was one of my Midland.
favorites, 1 liked it so much that I drove
more than 1 should have. It had a
solid, well-built feeling and it conveyed
the impression that it would last. Oddly,
though the body looks aerodynamically
right, the sloping roof line being partica-
active, it dumed up quite a lot
id noise, 79 decibels at 60 mph,
it even with Vega and Volkswa-

rankin

gen. The engine, not itself notably quiet,
was well insulated. Braking was superior,
nd 91 g, and it stopped
hi. Extremely sensitive in the
scat ol his pants. like all race drivers, Jim.
Hall was more or less critical of the ride
on 18 of the 14 cars, the Opel
being the only one he would say was
very good." It was quick—13.8 seconds
10 60 and a top speed of 97—but still gave
29.1 miles to the gallon. All around, a
good car.

»iNTO, The automotivemechanic popula-
ion of the United States is about 40,000
short. In some communities, it's almost
impossible to find a mechanic who'll
come to start a stalled car: like doctors,
auto mechanics don't mike many house
calls anymore. The “do-it-yourself” alt
ге collapses when you first look seri
ously under the hood of a standard V8.
Change the sparkplugs? On some en-
gines, you can barely see them, and only
a special jointed wrench, rubber-collared
to hold the plug tight when it's loose,
will bring it to daylight. Ford has a
better idea: The Pinto is about as simple
a vehicle as the market will accept and,
with it, you get a 120-page illustrated
homeservice manual. It's loaded with
labeled drawings and photographs and
it sts at ground level: Figure 241,
for instance, is captioned “Adju
Wrench” and the one working part is
clearly labeled “Adjustable Screw.”
ure 243 is captioned “Hand Cleaner.”
(Ine stuff is called "СООР"; it contains
lanolin and other good things.) If your
capacities are overtaxed by doing two
things at once, such as reading and using
a screw driver, you can get a recording.
The Model T is back and there is hope

Pinto, son of Maverick, is the line that
leaps to mind—it has the same long hood
and short deck. The car looks bigger than
ason: In one dimension,
"s almost 9 inches past the VW,
istic reflected in interior room and
not much roll in corners. The engine
the Capris, with the usual transmission
choices on the 2000-c.c. engine only. The
smaller engine is available only with the
manual. It's noisy—82 decibels at 60
mph, the highest figure we recorded—
and a lot of vibrations come through.
Road shock also is heavy through the
hody and particularly the steering wheel,
a big one by today's standard. In braking
—all drams—the Pinto compares badly
primary rival, the Vega: 162 feer
inst 127, and .74 g against .95. It was
almost uncontrollable in panic stops
from maximum speed. I thought it very
good in corners and reasonably stable on
the straights. The test car, running the
small engine, did 81 mph; the 2000.c.
version should add ten to that. There's a
surprising amount of room in back

limited travel on the drivers seat and
nonc at all on the front Passenger but
you wouldn't want to live there. There is
an extended option list and you can
build a deluxe version of the Pinto if
you like. But it still is going to be
difficult to stop.

This observation suggests that the self-
appointed car tester takes rather a lot
upon himsell—maybe too much. Usual-
ly, he's assaying only a single example,
and the danger of condemning 50,000
automobiles for the flaws of one is ever-
present. There are, however, two safe-
guards: If the car is bought anonymously
off the dealership floor, that’s one thing,
but when the maker knows in advance,
d cam select the vehicle, one must
assume it's a good one. Second, it's often
possible to consult other testers. In the
matter of the brakes on the basic Pinto,
not many huzzahs are heard in the land.

RENAULT Rio. Renault has been selling
automobiles to Americans for 65 years,
nd the subcompact model R10 is, from
moncysaving point of view, king of the
castle. Low in initial cost, at 51799, it’s
Iso a super gas miser: The test car did
362 miles to the gallon at a steady 60
mph, a reading not seriously threatened
by any of the other cars and exceeded only
by the phenomenal Fiat 850. It was by no
means the slowest on pickup at 17.6
seconds and the actual top spced, 83
mph, was close enough to the maker's 85
mph claimed. It has disk bi akes on all
four wheels, good rack-and-pinion steering
(the most positive system, a gear wheel on
the end of the steering column meshes
with mating teeth on a straight bar that
tums the ront wheels) and it can be
stuffed into minimum parking space. I
other words, good for city use, But for
long overthe-road trips, not so good.
The RIO uses swin; n the rear:
two drive shafts universally jointed to
the differential. The swing axle was one
of the early solutions to the independ-
entrearsuspension problem, and it
works: the bump the righthand wheel
hits has no effect on the left hand wheel.
This system has been used by some nota-
bly good automobiles, Porsche and
Mercedes-Benz among them. Swing axles

have a compensatory disadvantage, how-
ever, which is that the combi

swing axle makes a car relatively
ds and tricky in hard comers
cre direction changing. IE
а swing-axle car is pushed hard enough,
the outside rear wheel, which is taking
most of the side force, will tuck under
and begin to move the rear of the car
adependently of the front, setting up а
olent oversteer. A driver who knows
the phenomenon can cope with it if he’s
sharp. but he must be quick, because
a rightnow kind of happening. Somc-

«pert, like the Chaparral

side
and sudden se

times, even

tedinician who was driving the Renault
on the Rattlesnake skid pad when it
dumped, will miss—even though he
knows he's asking for it by pushing the
car hard.

The Renault was not everybody's dar-
ling at Midland. the objections most
often cited being the offset pedals and
the odd gearshift positioning, the lever
having to be stuffed into the seat cushion
to get reverse, bringing it just about
under your leg. The brakes were good, as
would be expected of four-wheel disks on
such a light automobile. But it was
rough in side winds. In the Fiat, I fol-
lowed Harold Gafford along Route 310
when he was running the Renault's mile-
age tests. A strong wind, gusting to 25
mph. was blowing across the road and
Gallord had to work hard to hold the car
dead straight and maintain a precise 60
miles per hour. 1 had gone for miles at
rates up to 90 and, while the Fiat let me
know it was windy out there, I wasn't in
anything like Galford’s trouble. Jim
Hall's reaction. to the Renault's road

“Excuse

behavior was definitive if bru
that taking it hard into corners gave him
the positive conviction that he was going
to come out facing the other way. I can't
believe that the good old swing axle
will show up on many Renaults in the
future.

saan me. I've been а Saab admirer since
1959, when a factory-team driver took me
for а flat-out ride on the gravel roads
und Linköping in Sweden, and
week with the new fuelinjection 99E
model did nothing to diminish my regard
for the make, Beautiful irs not. The
shape is chunky and boxy to the point of
being positively antiaesthetic. (But you
can see the ground 11 feet ahead of the
bumper.) Still, looks and heavy steering
at slow speeds are all T can cite against
the automobile. This is a vehicle that has
been screwed together to stay. To peer
into the engine compartment is a pleasure;
it looks as if it had been put together
by aircraft. mechanics. The Si
through headrests are the most sem:

me. Which have you been

playing—red or black?”

203

made. The interior is luxurious and the
high-speed sound level was the lowest of
the 14. The Opel had better acceleration
and top speed, but I was faster around
Rattlesnake in the Saab—atuributable,
haps, to front-wheel drive or, more Jike-
absolute confidence. But, as 1 said ear-
the 99E was running out of its class
and it would have been surprising if it
had not looked good. Still, it did do well.
and it should have—price docs matter

PLAYBOY

TOYOTA CORONA. The Toyota Motor Com-
pany is the 15thdargest corporation in the
world outside the United States. has been.
ng cus since 1936, readied an out!
put rate of 100,000 cars a month two years
ago and is now the world’s number-five
producer. With little advertising and ап
exploitation budget that Detroit would
med to allocate to а new hom
button, Toyota sold 208,112 cars here last
year, second only to honorable number-
one import. If you think all this hap
pened by chance, return to square one.
It was brought about by bright people,
who had the ines

knowing that they didn't have all the
answers, or even all the questions. So they
boarded JAL jets in Inge numbers, tried
out cars all over the world, found out and
went back to tell the folks manning the
drawing boards. The Toyoti Corona isn’t
the most exciting thing on wheels since
the Curved-Dash. Oldsmobile, but it is
good automobile homing in tightly an
target.

The Corona 4-door sedan has disk,
drum brakes, a comfortable ride—which
would be improved by bigger tires—and
a well-thoughtout, well Put together in-
terior of practically solid plastic that is so
good you may not notice it. As with other
industrial materials, the Japanese have
certainly found out about synthetics in
the past couple of decades. My notes on
the Toyota begin with a remark about
value for money: It carries as standard
а lot of other makers’ options—power
brakes, adjustable seat backs, tinted glass
and whitewalls, for openers. And 30 miles
to the gallon from a solid new engine
taking 108 hp out of an overhead-cam, 5-
g configuration. Since the en-
gine is 1860 cc, or 116 cubic inches, that's
almost one hp to the inch. Another edge
the Corona has is the 4-door setup. No-
body really likes to climb into a
particularly а small one, over a bent fi

car,
nt-

seat back, and Toyota proved the point by
selling over 80,000 4-doors here in 1970.
veca ст. The Vega was, overall, the best

in the coral at Midland, reflecting a clean
success, one might almost sty a triumph,
ng conflicting objectives. For cx-
ample, the Vega is certainly a subcompact
—our test car, running the big engine and

ioned to the roof, pumped out almost
204 31 miles to the gallon but it looked and

felt bigger than any of the others, а cir
cumstance th
the testers on sight r not, the long-
conditioned American love for the big
barge is not going to disappear overnight.
The Vega outaccclerated everything else,
outbraked all the others with room to
spare and even showed an almost honest
odometer 9.95 miles for 10 uue. Nega-
tively, it had the highest interior low-
speed noise level, and the brakes, while
they would put out .95 g. needed a lot of
leg. When I first took it fast into a corner,
Thad a second or so of deep thought, and
even Hall. used to standing on brake
pedals, complained about the effort re
quired. Handling seemed to be just about
mpeccable, the ca
lable at all speeds and in
The Vega was designed for an objective
rarely achieved: absolute neutral steer
with no loss of straight line stability, even
in wind. Theoretically. a perfectly neutral
, pushed past the limit, will go off the
Ш in one piece; in fact, when given
enough throttle, the Vega will finally go
to oversteer, but it will stick for a long
ime

The с is unique. It h;
ie-cast aluminum block—the dies weigh
5,000 pounds—a high silicon content in
the alloy making the usual inset iron
суй liners unnecessary. The valves
move on a single overhead camshaft driv-
en by a cog belt that runs the fan and
w pump as well The engine
stringe-looking device, but accessible it
certainly is—indeed, it looks lost in the
space one usually expects to find crammed
to the top with wires and plumbing. Like
the Pinto, the Vega comes with owner's
fix-it book, not as detailed and explicit,
but adequate. Visibility is good, four
people can be packaged in reasonable
contentment and the seats, wh much
too solt for my taste, will please short-trip.
riders,

The enthusiasm Em reflecting for the
Vega GT must be tempered by the ob
servation that this was a topline model,
the second-heaviestoptioned car we had.
It was the only one of the 14 running
on wide rims and fat tires, for example.
1, while its handling was obviously in-
егеу superior, the amount of rubber
it was putting on the r d to be an
advantage. It was a splendid motorcar,
but it carried a $2944.75 sticker. The basic
$2091 Vega 2 door sedan, with the 90-
horsepower engine instead of the 110,
annot be expected to run with it or feel
. This may be why Chevrolet has
ed only 20 percent of production to

¢ sedan, while the coupe is down for
50 percent.

at endeared it to some of

completely. control-
Il attitudes.

der

VOLKSWAGEN SUPER BEETLE. In line with
carefully maintained tradition, the new
Volks looks much like the old one on the
road, except for a noticeably bulgier trunk

lid. Inside, it’s different: 89 ways different,
the factory says. The new engine delivers
60 horsepower and much of the suspen-
sion and chassis system, front and rear,
is new—diagon ng ams in back
and MacPherson struts in front. working
on a track three inches wider. This
change has finally fixed the handling
problem t е the old Bugs a de-
served reputation as lethal overscerers.
(1 once saw one spin across a four-lane
freeway coming out of ап underpass
into a cross wind.) Fronvstrut suspension
takes less room, so a great deal more can
he piled into the trunk. The heating sys-
tem now delivers through seven outlets
and there's a 2speed blower on the flow
through, The floor is fully carpeted and.
all in all, there's not much left of the old
bare-bones look. ‘The ior detail is
superb, with füstcabin. German-quality
workmanship show
pect the Supe

g everywhere. 1 sus-
Bug will be in heavy
demand. The Midland. test саг certainly
We took it off a dealer's floor, it w
the only one he had, and, as it went ou
the door, an irate customer was still w
ing a wet check over his hea 1 de-
manding that we bring it back.

‘The VW stopped inside evi
the Vega, Capri and Opel, and
surprisingly quiet once you'd skimmed the
doors. And with the windows dosed, they
take slamming, because the Bug is still
all but airtight. What surprised us was
the handing: 1 пе Super Bug really sticks
in there, it was a revelation on the skid
pad and you can belt it into a corner now
without any of the old “oh-oh, here it
goes” sensation. The VW, they sav, is
bout to be shot down, I'll wait until I
see the flames.

The subcompact is, perhaps, the wave-
let of the future. An eminence of Detroit
has suggested that when our children
come of age, anything bigger than to-
day's intermediates will be tagged deluxe
Possibly, II that's the case, the assaying
we have atiempted here may have some
significance.

None of the 14 Midland cars perfectly
mated with the mold into which we were
tying to fit it: a motorcar exactly sui
cd to urban use, quick and sure-footed
on the highway, aesthetically delightful in
form and sophisticated in accommodation.
Some cars were well sized for the city but
aesthetically ying. Others wee
t over the road but flawed for urban.
use by individual traits such as high fuel
consumption or heavy steering. The id
doesn't exist, We must hope th
reasonable facsimile, is on a
board somewhere.

And so, as the setting sun reddens the
plains of Texas, we leave old Raitlesna
Raceway, slightly saddlesore and, maybe,

a litle wiser.

was:

"Actually, I never intended to go this steady."

205

PLAYBOY

RADICALISM/BETTELHEIM

In the reformist and revolutionary ac
tivities of middle-class American college
men, I see a repetition of the behavior
patterns of their socially conscious moth-
ers. These boys work for a cause with
emotional fervor, rather than with the
approach that business or technical activ-
s require. Accomplishment in business
ndeed, in politi demands devotion
to logic, long-range planning, practic
1y, willingness to compromise, accepta
of routine and drudgery. These qu
indispensable to productive we re
repellent to many young radicals. They
engage passionately in a controversy but
are ready to withdraw from it the mo-
ment it becomes boring or tedious.
Ralph Nader has commented bitterly о
the waning of student enthusiasm for the
ecology movement after the initial hoop-
la of Earth Day 1970. During the stu-
dent strike after the Kent State calamity,
it was only work that stopped in many
colleges, while fun—in the form of

(continued [rom page 124)

movies, rock concerts and the like vent
right on. And, of course, immediately
fter Cambodia and Kent State thou-
sands of young men and women vowed
that they would be out the following
November to work for peace candidates.
A little over six months later, however
the number of students actively working
during the 1970 elections was insignificant
when compared with those who had
chimed they would.

Marx never said that revolution would

be fun. The New Left speaks of “revolu-

n for the hell of it” and its values are
theatrical. The melodrama becomes trag
edy when some young people begin to
see themselves as romantic bomb throw-
ers. They shirk the task of educating the
people and building а mass movement,
those long-established practical strategies
of the left. They think they can do thei
teaching by breaking plate Elass win-
dows, by setting fire to buildings that
could be used to educate the people.

“James Buchanan was our most intelligent President.
He never got married.”

The student revolutionary’s lack of
ism is an important reason for which
frequently rejected by members of
the working class. Typically, he tries 10 get
close to the workers through his dre:
blue jeans and a work

ng to get to people by dressing i
a feminine, consumer ap-
h, focusing on external attire rath-
er than on basic function, It is the
mother who tells a boy he can't go to
church without a jacket and tic; he
learns the lesson so well that ten years
later, he still feels that there is a co
rect uniform for every occasion and he
wouldn't be caught dead in the streets
without blue jeans and a work shirt. I
remember that in the early days of the
Communist Party in Austria, members
were taught that you couldn't reach the
workers merely by dressing like them;
you had to live like them and work lik
them; you had to learn. from them long
before you dared to wy to teach them.
"Today, a left-wing student thinks he can
walk into a factory wearing the appropri
ate garb and start lecturing the workers
on the way our fascist-pig establish
ment oppresses the struggling third-world
peoples. This is exactly the attitude of
the Victorian Lady Bountiful, who feels
herself above the men who do dirty
work and who don't know about the
really important things in life. Amer-
ican workingmen sense that they
being pationized and want to kick il
snobbish young sermonizer right out the

shirt.

nt gate.
Such aberrant behavior as this femi
nized approach to politics docs not ta

ible to identify
amc sex and t

place when children ar
with the parent of the

love ihe parent of the opposite sex. To.
make such healthy identification possi-
important whether the
authority or whether

ble, it is not
father has all the
the mother and the father share it; it
important simply that there be specific
male authority and specific female au
thority. It is the attractiveness of cach
role that makes the child want to identi-
fy with it and decide which parent he
will want to choose for the object of
his love. Hardly a culture in the world
does not provide in some way for dis
tinct male and female roles; only in the
aflluent sector of our own society does
the blunting of distinctions make it dil.
ficult for the son to iden
father

Psychoanalysis has derived. its notions
of the proper role a male parent should
play in his children’s lives [rom the ob-
servations Freud made in Vienna in the
late 19th Century. His of cours
were limited to п, Victorian
families. He learned that psychological
problems stemmed from the faults of this
type of family. But when the Victorian
family worked well, mental health, as
Freud understood it, resulted. Today, we

y with

The popular idea that the family
19th Century was a dreadful institution
and the psychoanalytical idea that all
families resemble it are both wrong.

In Freud's day, the male personality
still developed as Goethe, both statesman
and poet, had described his own: “From
father is my stately gait, | My sober way
of conduct, | From mother is my sunny
mind, | My zeal for spinning. tales.” As
Freud saw it, the paternal influence
created the superego—that element in a
diaracer that laymen call the
conscience. The mother, on the other
hand, gave the child unconditional love

nd satisfied his needs, thus teaching
him how to gratify those bodily drives
and emotional needs that psychoanalysts
describe as belonging to the id. A child
carries images of his parents in his mind,
or, as psychoanalysts say, he internalizes
them, If all goes well, the boy acts as
he thinks his father would want him
to and he tries to be the kind of person
his mother would love. The ego, which
is the conscious sell, is formed, accord
ing to Freud, to mediate between the
conflicting images of the judging father
and die loving mother.

For a child to form his personality out
of interacting masculine and feminine
images, the two must be truly dilterent.
Today, the mother is both nurturing and
demanding, while the father often is nei-
ther. The child is not offered the example
of one person representing the principle
of pleasure and the other person the prin-
ciple of duty, Out of this confusion, the
1 develops a conscience, which tells
him, "You have a duty to enjoy life.
Thus, there are young people who fecl
that work ought to be all fun and who
look on nine-to-five drudgery as somehow
immoral. They often try to drop out of
the world of work and careers. Other
people turn the fun of life into grue!
labor: zealous tourists, dogged golf-swing
improvers, fanatic сат bulls, people who
worry that they're not getting as much
pleasure as they ought to out of sex.
How impossible the pursuit of pleasure
becomes, even in sex, when it assumes
the character of a moral duty!

In old Vienna, the male parent un-
questionably represented the principle of
duty, and sons felt respect, awe, even
fear, toward their fathers. And the boys
had something to look forward to: the
idea of having similar authority and
commanding similar respect when the
grew up. In adolescence, through revolt
against. paternal authority, one gained
further strength and masculine pride.
But how can one revolt against the
weak fathers of today? They olten do
not seem worth the trouble. Instead, the
children revolt against the establishment.
But this does nor work out for them,

“We create it, we clean it up—business couldn't be better.”

either, After a successful adolescent re-
volt, the boy may reidentify with the
best in the father, But how can ош
student revolutionaries reidentily with a
distant amd anonymous establishment?
her they get stuck in their adolescent
revolt or the establishment defeats them,
In either case, they can't reach maturity
and deep down they despise themselves
for a failure that is not of their own
making.

eud’s teachings have generally been
ken as the last word оп psychodynam-
ics, but he made scientific observations,
he did nor formulate laws. Freud would
never have made the mistake of de
ing that people in a dillcrent society,
such as our own, could follow the Vic
torian pattern for effective child rearing
without appropriate modifications. Fami.
lies can take many forms as long its they
serve the needs of children. A few years
ago, 1 studied the Israeli kibbuizim, the.
collective communities, for а short time.
Here children do not live with their
parents; they are raised in groups. One
n ihe lives
dren, though, is that they
isit both parems at work.
And when the children come, everybody
stops working and explains to the chil-
dren what they're doing and why it is
mportant to them and 10 the commu-

of the most important factors
of the

chi

gains respect for the work of the parents.
People е wondered how kibbutz chil-
dren grow up so well when their parents
are distant figures. The answer is that,
while there are only a few basic needs,
there are many ways to satisly then

A child need not be raised by his
biological parents. Freud made so much
of the Oedipus complex or Oedipal si
tion that many people believe а male
child must have a jealous desire for his
mother and an envious hatred for his
ather in order to grow up normally. But
there has been much argument among
anthropologists about whether or not
Шу exists in
all societies. As 1 see it, the chief thing is
to understand the ba: le under
lying the Oedipus phenomenon, which is
applicable to any family structure: The
human infant for many years is entirely
dependent upon and in ihe power of
some individual or individuals. If youre
in someone's power, lor better or worse
you have to come to terms with
person. If the person doesn't abuse his
power, you come to love him. But
whose power the child is, and w
whom he has to come to terms, can v
tly

ler my own history. Today, I teach
psychoanalysis at the University of Chic

207

PLAYBOY

208 This large

a childs mother is After Гуе let
them expound on the subject, I iry to
open their minds a bit more by telling
them some of my personal story. During
ly childhoott, the person who fed
me, took cıre of me and was with me
most of the time was not my mother but
wet nurse. This was a custom among
the upper-middle clases in Vienna at
the time, The nurse was a peasant girl in
her late teens, who had just had а baby
out of wedlock. She left the baby with
relatives and hired herself out to suckle
the child of a well-to-do family. To make
sure she gave а lot of milk, she followed
the folklore formula of drinking a lot of
Deer. So my entire care as an infant was
entrusted to a girl who had Tittle educa-
was by our lards а sex delin-
litde high on beer most of
time and was so devoid of maternal
instinct that she left her own child. I am

the deplorable result.
The reasons why a relationship that,
ng to theory, should have been
ing worked so well were that
the girl had no interest other than me;
she took good physical cue of me and,
being а peasint, was without uuduc f
tidiousness about diapering and toilet
the beer kept her relaxed and.

happy; she didn't discipline me exces-
sively and «ет overawe me iniellec-
tually. Tt was not an idyllic upbringing
but it сепаішу was adequate. And be

cause my nurse was awed by
Jearned to look up tu him by ue
her. Thus, I acquired respect for him
ithout his having to discipline me
у. My father was а very gentle man,
very secure in himself, so convinced of his
ner authority that he never needed to
show of it. I didn't have con-
tinual fights with my ents, because
the dos and don'ts came from the nurse,
somebody who wasn't much of an author-
rus very сапу what the
power relations are in his family and these
hold the key to his development,

My father was а good model for me.
As a child, I visited him ar his place
of work. 1 spent many hours there,

ing him. more often just playing.
pace of fife was still leisurely
enough 10 permit my father to drop
what he was doing and explain things to
me, 1 saw other strong men work hard.
‘Their respect for my father and his for
aware of it,
mpression on me. Such
iences make identification. with his
seem worth while for a boy.

Besides respecting the roles of the wo
sexes, people should be able to cl
differentiate between them. Dichotomy,
duality. is one of the most fundamental
characteristics of both nature and philos-

them, without my beir
made

deep

oracular Chine:
senis û4 fi

book, the 7 Ching. pre
res made up of six lines.
umber of figures is made

of different combinations of just two
kinds of lines, solid and broken. The
solid lines represent the masculine yang
principle and the broken lines, the femi-

own individual mix, There
more than six characteristics in the human
personality, each of which has its feminine
or masculine version; thus, the possible
kinds of hu personality are infinite
The wend Гуе described in todays
middle-class family is that the loss of at-
tructiveness and distinctness in the father’s
role impedes the satisfactory working out
of this process. What can be done about
this situation? Obviously, we can't turn
back the economic or technological docks
But ideas as much as tangible necessities
e caused the decline of the father. We
must renew our appreciation of the po-
y of the sexes and be enriched by
i cs. While 1 do
sympathize with liberated women to a
degree, 1 don't think they should make it
т goal to become as much like men
posible or to change the image of
They should concentrate on find-
ing themselves as women
We miles саппос expect women
find roles for us that are suitably m
line; we have to do this ourselves, The
new masculine, heroic ideal may possibly
focus on discovery. All through recorded
history, the discoverer has been a man,
even the discoverer of the pill, which
шау solve the most pressing problem of
mankind: overpopulation. The astronauts
who set foot on the moon, and also those
who managed to return their crippled
spaceship, fired the imagination of the
entire world. A new masculine pride can
come from discoveries of the mind, from
the brain, not from brawn, Our cities
heed to be rethought and rebuilt, the very
paitern of our lives will have to be re-
shaped so that men will again be able to
der le from what they are doing on
th, maybe even beyond it. The
nd possibilities are immense.
ask is not one that can be mas-
п comfortable leisure. But leisure,
the absence of struggle, order, harmony
were the ideals the GIs of World. War
Two adopted, a natural bur mistaken
reaction to a horribly destructive con-
flict. The absence of tension is just as
deadly as too much of it. This is one
meaning of the Zen question “What is
the sound of one hand capping?” One
hand alone strikes empty air and makes
no sound at all. This is why the young
е confrontations. The college adm
istrators who face student dissenters
too often men who are lacking in mascu-
security and have based their careers
on the principle of harmony at all costs.
So, instead of meeting questions and
openly recognizing that unavoidable con-
fia exists, they try to evade it. One
reason Dr. Hayakawa has succeeded in
restoring some order at San Francisco

y his

ici

State College is that he was not afraid of
real confrontation in place of academi
soothing syrup. He stood. up to the dem-
ators in a manly way, instead of
pretend be on their side while
actually trying to undermine them. Oi
of the most compelling testimonies to
the life-giving properties of conflit is
Sarue's description of how it felt to

be in the French Resistance from 1940
to 1945: “We were never more fice than
during the German occupation. , . . В

ause the Nazi venom sceped even into
our thoughts, every accui
a conquest. Because an all-powerlul po-
lice cried to force us to hold our tongues,
every word took on the value of a ded
[ principles, Bectuse we were
med down, every one of our gestures
had the weight of a solemn commitment,"
Freud said that life results Irom an
imbalance and the ейоп to reestablish
balance. Н а new imbalance is not cre-
ated, however, there will be death. Hegel
and Mary both summed up life as th
conflict between thesis and antithesis
which is resolved in synthesis, which i
turn generates а new antithesis for а new
conflict. Without this process, life woul
come to a stop.
Next to sexual plea

ure, one of the

ig hot and swe:
the process, then coming upon a
lake and jumping in. You may be shiver-
ing and have to jump out again in a
minute, but what delight there is in the
sudden ch. hom hot to cool! Com.
pare this with swimming in a tepid pool.
Where there is no tension created, none
is relieved. The affluent. middle-class
American wants life to run smoothly,
doesn't want any difficulties, He wants
the mountain to be level and the pool to
be tepid. And then he wonders why his
children reject hi

Kant said that aesthetic pleasure of the
highest order comes from the fact that
the artist creates a unity out of à variety
of elements, One of the oldest images of
the human soul is this metaphor from
Plato's Phaedrus:

ге be composite
of winged horses amd a chari-
oteer. Now the winged horses and
the charioteers of the gods are all of
them noble and of noble descent,
but those of other races are mixed;
the human charioteer drives his in a
pair; and one of them is noble and
of noble breed, and the other is
ignoble and of ignoble bi
the driving of them of
gr

At this point, the naive u
“IL both horses were alike, wouldn't they
pull together better?”

Yes, they might, But how empty, how

boring!
Jg

necessity
deal of trouble to him.

gives a

& 2
<S SE
—

There's no reason for this; I'm dy
for no rcason.

Someone dropped some letters into the
chute and he yelled after him, but he
only seemed to leave faster.

He started fanning himself with an
envelope, noticed the return address on
2 the Sexual Freedom League. He de-
bated for half an hour whether to open
Шу decided he'd be dead by morn-
ayway, and tore it open. It
announcement of an orgy the next
on the South Side, all friends welcome,
and included was a picture of a naked boy
and girl. He put the address in his pocket
and hung the picture from a conve
rivet, tying to make the best of his
situation, creating a little homeyness out

stere new surroundings. With
he saw that this was
s the same

PLAYBOY

sudden reali
to be his new home; it м:
kind of epiphany he had reached as a

youngster when he had discovered that
when the letters of the lines and spaces of
the ueble staff were synthesized they
formed the alphabet. He smiled with
new satisfaction and riflled through the
letters he'd been sitting on, opening first
the ones with interesting handwriting,
Most were so superhumanly pedestrian
it was boring, then depressing. Не
opened an Army envelope, The letter
wen

Dear Ed,

I've applied for another tour of
duty here in Vietnam, 1 1 so
much. You begin to hate these little
yellow slopes, I just want to Kill
them all. 1 found this girl and her
and XXXX X XXX XNXNAX
NXX XNNXOXOXX MXXNXNX X XXXX xx
ххх and I xxxxxx xxx her xxxx ххх
little rats. See you next year.

Ralph

Joke, thought Aaron. The next one he
ked was a suicide note. It read:

аһ,

TII be dead when you get this. It
wasn't jour fault, honest. 1 don't
know what I cin do to make you
believe that, but I just can't worry
about that at this point.

АШ my love always,
Beth

ly shook Aaron and for some
time he tried shouting again, but ended
by feeling only very useless, helpless,
totally constrained, prevented from
action whatever, no control, no possibility
of implementation of his de
sires. He sat. He worked off his pants, sat
still again, He fecbly waved a letter
through the opening but soon stopped:
he took off his shirt and hung it out, but
someone stuffed it back in about 15

210 minutes later.

sions, de-

THE BOX (continued from page 123)

с here, he'd know what
non thought morosely. He had
liked his grandfather a great deal. They
lived at opposite ends of a century,
touched lives only briefly, in the middle,
And then, on his 80th birthday, Grandp:
fell down the steps of his home and hit
his head. After a few days in the hospital,
he was fully recovered physically. being a
lively old fellow, but he had total amne-
ia; he had forgotten the past 80 years.
His entire life was nonexistent in his
memory, as had never been; no
jokes, no was, no fallen comrades, no
bullshit. In his 81st year, he had to begin
from the stat (except for l.
which tool he had retained), а
seemed to Aaron a prospect so crippli
as to want to kill yoursell, But not to the
old man. He made new friends, read new
books, thought new thoughts. His goal
life, he used to chuckle, was 10 reach the
age of 21, so he could legally drink be-
fore he died. Once, he told Aaron, "If
you're ever someplace you don't want to
be, then hit your head like 1 did and
you'll be someplace else.”

‘That's how Grandpa died—he hit his
head h a hammer and d

Someone mailed a letter and tried to
close the mailbox fap, but Aaron's shoe
was in the way; Aaron yelled up for
help. but this seared the caller away and
he was alone again.
nother letter dropped onto his head,
the comer scratching close to his eye. He
yelled and swore and embarked upon a
long river of invective, lasting some min-
utes. To his amazement, а voice respond-
ed down the opening, very patiently:

“You should not hate so much, young
. Hate is not a satisfying emotion.”

don't hate anybody and I don't
hate you most of all," he replied sullenly,
still unrcady to believe anyone was willing
to recognize his existence.

“What have you to be so angry
abou came the voice, historical-sound-
ing in the way it echoed in the small
metal box.

Im locked in this box," Aaron said.

"So are we all, boy. It is a box of
loneliness. God made Adam and then
Eve because He knew Adam was lonely,
and He knew this because Adam was
made in His own ima 4 He knew
that He was lonely. You don't want to
get out; you only nd to get in
there with you."
aron heard him walk away and be-
came first very desperate and then very
tired, There was a slow rumbling out-
side, amplified in his con
finally it started to rain, a summer ra
The plinks made a nice sound on the
steel and he welcomed the cool air that
began to enter the box and s
him. A few drops even managed to bounce
their way to his face and he relaxed a

little. He was comforted, too. by the
thought that the rain was driving all the
other people into their own little boxes;
cars and houses and store lobbies and
umbrellas, each fugitive creating his ow
distinctive patter in the storm. He he:
footsteps approach quickly, slow down,
some letters were dropped onto his head.

More running steps.

The relieving cool changed his entire
outlook. His future didn't matter too
much, it was certainly out of his hands, so
he decided to get some sleep. He felt a
little guilty about the opened letters but
was more concerned about shoe,
which was now stuck tight in the open
flap. He soon gave up his exertions to
listen to the rain, The patter reminded
him of something from his early memories
—rain on a red wagon, maybe. No, on a
greasy stained-glass window on 53rd Strect.
But that's in another life, he thought, and
don't ever look back.

The rain gushed now and changed
direction for a moment, so it was blow-
ing straight in through the slot, washing
his bare skin with cold, wet strokes. Then

the wind stopped, or shifted, and he sat

still, dripping. He felt chill and a new
sense of malaise touched him momentar-
ily, then left. He maneuvered his shirt
off the floor, to drape over his back, but
the new disquiet came again and grew.
He sneezed.

He heard people and shouted. He
thought he could hear them stop and
yelled again, but there was no response,

He grew colder.

His shirt was no help since it, too, was
wet, as were the letters on which he sat.
His teeth began to chatter. He could
think of nothing but his misery, of how
damp to the very soul he felt. He even
cried, so much worse was the cold than
the heat. He tried as hard as he could to
imagine worse suffering but could not.
He could not really think at all; he sat
and сохтед, occasionally whining:

The wind changed again, throwing in
new gusts or half pailfuls of rain water. It
ran down his hair continuously now,
down the inside of his arms, his thighs,
the walls of the mailbox. His legs started
mping; his skin took on the feel of
dank basement concrete, long kept from
the air. The paper photo on the wall of
the box curled moistly on itself, produ
ing a new sexual position as the colors
on the six-inch nudes ran together. He
shivered constantly, quite unable to con-
ceive of such torment much less under-
stand it. The cold sank deeper into his
flesh, while the rain poured in harder
and harder still. Whimpering, without
thought or sight, he sat, until quite with-
out waming, an unusually heavy box,
wrapped in brown paper and tied with
string. tumbled through the slot into the.
box and struck him on the side of the
head, letting some blood; he swooned for
a number of long and sinister minutes

and
con-

through various stages of nausea
vertigo until, mercifully, he lost
sciousness.

When he awoke, he was cold and
cramped but dry. There was а dim
morning light overhead, but he had no
idea of the time. His head ached horribly,
more when he realized, with excruciating
slowness, where he was. He put his hand
up and felt crusty flakes of dry blood
peel off his temple in places; his throat
was sanded thick, He remained in a
scmi-stupor for a long time, thinking
dismal thoughts when he thought at all.

After several hours, he began to rouse
himself. This is still absurd, he thought
slowly; it’s just gotten to be « bad joke.
He put his forehead against the cold
metal to wake up, adjusting his position
somewhat, as if ar
ing a calm pose that would enable him
to think coolly and come to a rational
decision, a plan. He listed all the alter.
natives in his mind and then proceeded
to pursue each one.

First, he could call for help. This he
did, loudly and thoughtfully. No help
came, but his head burt a litle more
than it had: this he noted. The next
proposal suggested that he try to pick
the lock on the door. Failing this, he
attempted to force the door open with
brute muscle. He pushed against ir with
his knees, his shoulders pressed to the

back of the box, but all he succeeded in
doing was dislodging his shoe, which fell
ast his head and started the bleeding
again.

Tt occurred to him, some time after he
had stopped screaming, to open the
package that had hit him, Maybe it was
a gun and he could shoot the lock off,
or a drill, or a Bible, He hefted it,
listened to it, wondered what it might
be. Doubtless something unique and
meaningful, something for his freedom.
Just like his grandfather, he would be
transported to someplace new. He tore
off the wrapping with difficulty and
looked.

Tt was a brick. Just a brick. A very

nice brick, to be sure, but nothing near
thc category of windfall or revelation.
usually associated with seeing stars. In

the end, just a brick.

He thought a good deal more in the
growing afternoon heat; but the brick
episode had finished him. really. Most of
his spirit and all of his misdirected hopes
had been dissipated. Wasted, Wasted,
man, he thought,

Ultimately. he decided to die hero-

i
wall and then light a
letters, a smoke sig
lesson. He scratched. the message
side with a key, stop THE WAR on one
side and “rey rakes ir Ur THE Ass on the
other. He put on h

lly, to pen something historic on the
the

match to

ceremonial uniform—lit a match
touched it to one of his socks. And then,
miraculously, the door opencd. Outside
stood a quaking, dumfounded old mail-
man, not comprehending the vision of a
boy holding a burning sock, wearing little
else but a gold braided hat, sitting inside
the mailbos

“Better to light one sock than curse the
darkness,” said Aaron, stepping out gin-
gerly, gathering his clothes. He dressed
himsell and, leaving the man still stand-
ing there, went off to the residence of the
authoress of the suicide letter; maybe
he'd ask her to the

ШУ.
He got to the building and rang her

bell She buzzed the inside door and
he entered, walked down one flight: it
was a basement apartment. The door
was closed: he approached and waited.
It was painted in bright-blue enamel with

a red number one in its center; he
knocked on it twice. There were scuf-
fling, retarded footsteps inside. He looked

up and noticed there was an open tr
som, with a black shoe jammed in it,
apparently to keep it from slipping shut.
The door opened and а girl stood there,
dripping wet, with a towel around her,
ater collecting in a puddle at her feet
J just got out of the shower,” she
said. "Come in while I put something on."
He did.

.the most pleasurable idea
fromScandinaviasince the Blonde.

ERIK REGULAR. Mellow tobacco teste.
THE RED, Smooth burgundy flavor.

CooL. Menthol taste excitement.

in the bold sized cigar

PLAYBOY

212

WHERE AM 1? u fo fuse )

moment. As the interior of the restau-
vant had been recently and expensively
redecorated, admitting, without argu-
ment, a cheap, pantssuited hooker seemed
very much the wisest course of action.

What neither Joanne nor Cathy
knew was that when the movie star
called for reservations the following

night, he was politely but firmly told
there was no table available. And that he
would be told the same thing every time
he called till his dying day or until his
mania reached such a point that he
decided to buy the place. It was inc
dents like this that hı d him to
1 up owning half
ble restaurants both here
Three of these were so ludicrously suc
ceslul that they had very nicely offset
some considerable oil losse

during the stars previous fiscal year.
Which, in turn, had noyed his ac-
countants, whose tax plan it had been to
use the oil losses to offset his company's
unexpected surplus of nonrental income.
Шу, it turned out to be just about a

me for the
girls to dress and leave for the Ameri
cana Hotel where two gentleme:
Greck shipping interests were even then.

“Armed robber

“In what way am I out of my mother-
gribbing mind? Incidentally, did you
know that mother-grabbinz is a hyphen-
ated compound adjective and about. ten.
years out of date?

Jou looked blank. It was an
expression that became her.
The rainy spell that had lasted

through most of Mardy and April had
ended. giving way to unseasonable heat
and leaden skies, sullen with humi

Tt was six o'e

table on wl
been placed. It was her de
an evening of fum and profit with a
famous movie director ar
who were in from

locations iu. Harlen

the Coast to scout

for an updated ver-

sion of Anna Karenina, which they
planned 10 shoot h an allblack cast,
that had prompted Jo:
remark, She Nulled her
the towel.

All right, then

of your mother-p)
docs "T think you're
grab you

Joanne was inordinately pk
bonkers. a word she
up from a visi

bsolutely bonkers’

а with.
d recently picked
sh jockcy, who

had paid her rican dollars from
zn illegal account kept here under his
mother’s (an. American) name.

“1 have work to do," Cathy said. “I'm

resisting arrest and. contributing

to the delinquency of a тупа.”

getting behind in my assignments again.

And she was, Those damned Grecks
had been in town for over a weck. They
had been jolly, plumpish men. Demand-
ing but generous.

Cathy rolled а new sheet of pape
the typewriter. She was anxious to get on
with becoming a be: g writer
it was impossible to work while Joanne
put clothes on and took them off again,
dumping them on the floor and com-

plaining about her weight.
Joanne’s bosoms, while not misshap-
en, were enormous. At the moment, they

were a great professional asset, But when
they went, they would go fast.

A decision was finally made.

A green pants suit, Joanne had an
extensive wardrobe of pants suits

“What if they want to eat first? What
if they want to go to a decent restaurant?”

“We can always go to the Colony,”
Joanne said haughtily.

"Ehe heat in the apartment was oppres
sive. They had talked about putting i
conditioning, but nt running
in a 220 volt linc and they had never
quite gor around to it.

a like a steam
Cathy said. She rose from her typist's
chair (newly purchased from ап office-
supply firm on Lexington Avenue) and
went to the window. It stuck a little, but
ed to force it open. She
ng out over the

bath

pent, lean

"Are they sending а car or what?
asked, not bothering to look back over
her shoulder. At least the carbon monos-
ide billowing up from the street was
fresh carbon monoxide.
hey said to take a cah. They're
using the car. They're looking for loca-
They're not here for pleasure!”

tions.
Joanne talked Lugely in italics, which
was another thing Cathy found soothing.

Then Cathy noticed the
He was standing on the sidewalk di
спу across from the apartment, He w:
ing up at the window. ‘The light w:

si
still good cnough for her to sce him
46 or 47 (she

dearly. He w ad bı
come terribly good at guessing men's
es. It was a parlor trick she sometimes
did for side bets. "They, if they took the
bet, would always have to show th
s licenses. That was part of the
Sometimes, when they were lying
about their names, they did

she collected by default. She wa
ever, almost always right). He, the man
on the sidewalk staring up, was neither
good- nor bad-looking, In fac, he has no
particular look at all. His eyes were
hidden by huge glasses. For all she knew,

they were twin telescopes. One, she sud-

denly realized, trained directly at her left
tit, the other at her right. That is, if they
twin telescopes. Maybe the poor
bastard was blind as a bat and simply
looking for an address or something.

He wore a tweed jacket and baggy gray
trousers.

He seemed h: ough

He could. of couse, be the person
who would subsequently be known in
the world press as the Astoria Strangler,
just standing there. bracing himself. for
his first shot. But Cathy doubted it. She
decided to play it another w

She waved. Not a wave with any invi-
tation even remotely implied. Just a sim-
ple “Hi, there” wave. Then she rubbed
her hands slowly over her breasts, linger-
ingly jiggling her thumbs on each nipple

On the street, die man tumed and
fled. Some strangler.
From behind her, Joanne said, “What
re you doing standing im the window
with your knockers hanging aul? Th
whole place is absolutely creeping with
зех maniacs! Didn't you see The Boston
Strangler? Now, come on, get in here and
pull the blind! You may want to be
murdered and raped and strangled
your bed, but I certainly don

“We ought to put in air condition
Cathy said, turning away from the
падом. “Is like a steam bath in here.”
"There's air conditioning at the Pl
1. slipping her blur-plas-
tic diaphragm container into her purse.
She had no faith in the pill as а method
of contraception, In addition, she claimed
iat it caused her skin to bica

"How do you know you wort be
murdered, raped and strangled where
you're going?” Cathy asked, reseating
herself at the card table.
‘At the Plaza Hotel? In New York
City? With two gentlemen who are here
from the Const to look for locations? Ave
you out of your mother-grabbing mind?”

Pretty soon, she was gone. Cathy
watched from the window until she was
a cab. There was no sign of the
telescope spectacles.
The silence was refreshing. So was the
ck of italics. Cathy picked up the latest
communiqué from her instructor. H. B.,
if that’s how he liked to refer to himself.
Maybe that was one of the rules of the
school or something. That the instructors
nown to their students only by their

were

Better, probably. judging from the h
terical nature of his more recent lette
"Ehe poor bastard seemed to be
terrible identity problem, With no tech
cal psychiatric background, Cathy under-
stood the nature of the identity problem
as well as anyone in the United States,
with the possible exception of Lawrence
S. Kubie, M.D. (Neurotic Distortion of

the Creative Proc
Straus & Giroux, 1961).

After all, she was, as she had put it
herself, a girl with no last name. Fre
quently, on tricks, she would even forget
the first name she happened to be using.
nd she had made up so many different
kgrounds and ages for herself that she
no longer able to distinguish be-
ally happened in

Farrar,

w
tween what had acn
her dile and what she imagined had

opened. Maybe there was very little
difference, since imagining is also a form
of happening. But Cathy was uncon-
cerned with sudi high-level absuactions.

A drop of sweat, dripping from her
chin to the upper portion of her left
breast and then, still unnoticed, pud-
dling down the soft pinkskin slope,
leaped from her nipple and landed
squarely in the middle of the typed page
that she had prepared the night before
as part of her new assignment for II. В.

It left a st

It (the stain) caused her

no distress.

Instead, she smiled. On Harvey's last
lener, there had also been a stain. He
had handled it brilliantly. He had sim-
ply ringed the stain with а pencil and

written in bis own teardrop fom
right eye. She now picked up a pencil,
ringed her stain and wrote im her own
hand: sweat«drop from lelt tit.

She only hoped that the mark of her
titdrop (she liked that better, but
too late to rewrite it without messing up
the page) would not turn the poor bug-
ger on even more than he seemed to be
already. Maybe she should never
sent him the photograph. But, knowing
she was barely literate and wanting des
tely to take the course, she had done
t she had always done. Used what

"Two weeks before, he had sent her a
paperbacked. edition of one of his (it
now turned out, non-bestselling) novels.
He had been very careful, of course. He
had torn off the cover and the title
thereby hoping (or not hoping?) to
keep his identity secret. What he had (or
had not) forgoiten was that the title of

the non-best seller way printed on dic
top of each page.
Tt had bcen a simple matter to go to

y. check the title in the
card files, discover the author's n
4. after obi library card under
1 name she could no longer remembe
take out his two other novels
two volumes of poetry.

The novels scemed more or less io
celebrate the use of the hyphen and the
semicolon and had to do with rivalries
nong professors on various college cam-
puses. Bullshit.

But the poetry was something else. Sh
had never encountered blank verse 1
fore. Between it and his letters, he had
managed somehow to touch her.

The nuth of the matter was that
Cathy had developed a kind of long-dis-
tance crush on him. She had a heen
a sucker for losers. Especially born losers

The prose passage she was working on
now was a description of her life as a
performer in blue movies. Most of it was
nonsense, of couse, but she had done
lot of nude posing and had made a
couple of stag reels in California when
she first got there.

The мар reels were no big deal.

She had been living with the boy she
screwed on film, anyway. And she'd

aged the director-cameraman a couple
of times before she'd even met the lead.
ing man. But. for Harvey's benefit, she

the public libr

213

PLAYBOY

214

was making it sound as glamorous as
possible.

A small but beautifully equipped st
dio hidden away in the Hollywood hills,
Dressing rooms with the performers"
names on the doors.

"At that time,” she was writing when
the phone rang, "Jigger and I were at
the peak of our success. We were consid-
cred by many to be the Jeanette Mac-
Donald and Nelson Eddy of the stag-film
industry.“

She was trying to turn the poor bas-
rd on. No question. Then ihe bloody
telephone. How can а writer really ас
ate when the bloody phone keeps ring-
l the time?

Naturally, it was Joanne.

atuxally, it was a cri
ally, she had taken the wrong
diaphragm case. The empty one. Could
Cathy please just jump into a cab and
bring the right one, on the top shelf of
thc medicine cabinet, to suite 1846-7 at
the Plaza Hotel? The pants suit had.
been just fine. They had һай dinner in
the room. Js a pants suit all right?, she
had asked, No pants would be cven bet-
ter, had been the reply. And that was
how it had gone. Until the blue-plastic
case proved to be empty. Terribly sorry.
Just jump in а cab. The boys from the
Coast were absolutely charming, Опе
(the director) was even kind of good-
looking. Very young and groovy. In addi
tion to which (the director was on the
bedroom extension himself by now), the
film they were seeking Iocations for was a
very important film, indeed, and would
very probably make an important state
ment about the Negro condition, From a
White Russian's point of view, of course.

But then, Pushkin, a very important
Russian writer, had been a boogie him-
self, and on and on like that. Anywa

they'd love to have her come up. if only
just for a drink, as onc of the girls they'd
ked was having her period or some-
nd had dropped out.

the hell. It was hot in the
The suite in

apart-
the Plaza was air
ting bored sit-
ies about the

ment
conditioned, She was
ting here alone, writing

bluc-movie bu:

iens.

And Harvey Bernstein was such a
chicken shit that he wouldn't even tell
her his real name.
she was getting dressed when the
phone rang again.

Could she als g the stuff? Not the
whole jar or anythi that, just
enough for maybe half a dozen joints.
OK. Why not?

I tried, she thought, I uied.

She looked at her tit drops
and ny best selling
writers her, why not have a
little fun tonight? There's always tomor-
row 10 get it written, In a curious way,
she was on the right track

Harvey Bernstein, lurking in the shad-

ined page

ows across from her apartment, watched
her get into the cab. Since taking flight,
he had dru five martinis in a bar up
the street. It was only after her cab had
turned the comer that he got the idea of
breaking into her apartment.

The younger one, the director, was
id of groovy and the producer, while
less attractive, had a wang the size of
Nashua's (winner in 1955 of the Preak-
ncs and the Belmont Stakes. Swaps
copped the Kentucky Derby that year). By
the time Cathy arrived, the three of them
wi seated, stark-naked, on the lloor
amid the remains of an expensive room-
service dinner, playing spin the boule.

The air conditioner was going full
blast.

Cathy insisted on turning it off before
she undressed. An orgy, she said, was onc
thing, but catching double pneumonia in
the process was another.

Joanne told about how she had been
admitted to the Colony in her pants sui
The producer suggested that next time,
she wy being admitted without her pants
suit. That, he suggested, would be the
acid test.

The three of them laughed uproa
. They had been eating and drink-
ing and screwing for several hours and
were feeling just great. Gathy rolled the
joints herself, The producer spoke ad
gly of the color of Cathy's nipples.
Cathy spoke admiringly of the size of the
producer's wang. He said that when it
was fully distended, he could place теп
silver quarters along its length. Cathy
said that they did not make silver quar-
ters anymore. The producer said they
not make wangs like chat anymore, ei-
ther. They all laughed immoderately.
Cathy told about the days in California
when she made blue movies, The direc-
tor suggested that he had always wanted
10 direct ont. Joanne was enthusiastic
but reminded them that they had no
camera, The producer said he carried a
miniaturized, Japanese-made version of a
В.М. C. with a 20mm lens concealed ii
his wang at all times Joanne said
69mm. They all laughed immoderately.
Pot on top of a lot of booze makes the
dopiest things seem funny.

So they made the movie.

Then it was light-up time again.

Through the haze, Cathy became
aware of the pounding on the door.

"Have you ever been picked up by
the fuzz?" the groovy director said.

No“ Cathy said, "but it must hurt a

lot.
Everyone laughed immoderately, al-
though it was an old joke. The producer

(he had had a picture nominated for an
Academy Award two years before)
walked naked to the door with a joint in

his mouth, opened it and admitted Jo-
anne's friend the movie star.
They greeted cach other warmly, em-

g and exchanging darlings and
Not faggot darlings and babys.
Hollywood darlings and babys.

“Baby, 1 knew it had to be you,” the
movie star said to the producer. “I mean,
I knew you were in town and I could
smell the stuff all the way from the Oak
Room.”

"Nobody busts the Plaza Hotel," the
director said.

“Nobody dics on Dawn Patrol,” the
movie star said. Hc took the joint from
the producer's lips and inhaled deeply,
sucking in air at the same time. When
he finally exhaled, about eight. years lat-
er, he smiled and joined the group. He
did not recognize Joanne without her
pants suit, But he covered nicely. He
was, in spite of all his actor crap, a kind
man and never, intentionally, hurt any-
one's feelings.

‘The producer told him they had been
making a movie.

The director suggested they make a
second feature.

The movie star said his agents would
not let him play in second f

The producer told 1
top billing
leading lady.
The movie star said he always screwed
leading ladics.
thy said he could also screw the girl
who played his leading lady's best friend.

‘The movie star said, well, in that case,

tures.
he could have
nd also get do screw the

‘They all laughed immoderatcly

At two o'clock, Cathy quietly slipped
back into her clothes, selected a clean
$100 bill from the wad on the dresser
and tiptoed out of the suite, leaving the
producer asleep in a chair, his huge
wang hanging limply between his knees,
Joanne, the director and the movie star
were laughing and playing in the bath-
tub.

In the corridor, which did actually
teek of marijuana, Cathy suddenly re
membered that, what with one thing and
another, she had never got around to
giving Joanne her diaphra

Not à plot point, she thought, just
oversight. Without knowing it, she w
beginning to think like a best-selling
writer.
queline Susann did not get where
she is today," she said to the sleepy-eyed

characters forget to give another one of
her characters her goddamn diaphragm.”
" said the sleepy-eyed eleva

But without interest or emotion.
Getting into the apartment could not
have been easier. The latch on the front
door was broken and, as Cathy and Jo
anne between them had los somewhere
in the neighborhood of 650 keys in the
nc months they had been in residence,
they no longer bothered to lock the door

“It's not really as bad as it looks, dear—one of them is a Lesbian.”

PLAYBOY

216

of apartment 4D unless they were at
home. As it was Joanne’s conviction
that the area was teeming with sex ma
s, she had caused a police lock 10 be
talled that would have been adequate
to keep the crown jewels in reasonable
safety.

But it worked only it someone was

nside to work it.

“H neither of us are here,” Joanne had
said in a blinding flash of logic, “the sex
maniacs can screw themselves, right?

Harvey Bernstein was crazed,

He had had his first official drink (as
usual) at lunch. He had, of course, been
pping away unofficially since the stab
n his instant coffee at 9:37 that morn-
ing. Then he had drunk throughout the
afternoon. Then he had rcad over (a
number of times) Cathy's detailed ac-
counts (seven installments by now) of
her first few months of kinky sex in the
Hollywood hills. The erotic uses of the
electric toothbrush, for instance, were no
longer a mystery to him. In fact, it all
sounded like kind of fun

At filled with passion, resolve
and 86.proof courage, he called his wife,
ready with an claborate story of why he
would have to spend the night in New
York. He did not reach his wife, which he
decided was just as well, as she had
absolute pitch, even on the phone, for
the number of drinks, offi

official, that her husband had consumed
during the business day. Instead, he was
told by the cleaning woman (Mrs. Ed-
wards) that his wife had been called to
the city to deal with some unnamed
crisis having to do with their daughter,
Lin

As Mrs. Edwards, who should have
gone home at four, had been into the
bourbon herself, she failed to detect
the morethan-faint slur in the speech
‘of the master of the house.

"Sure and it'll do you good,” she said
heartily. “Every man needs a night out
on the town from time to timc. Especial-
ly if he has to put up day after day with
a miserable cunt like your wife, if you!
excuse my language."

lt was a barometer of Harvey's condi-
tion that he had noticed nothing unto-
ward in Mrs. Edwards! language. They
were both, if truth be known, smashed
out of their minds.

He did find it interesting that Mrs.
Edwards’ brogue had become more pro-
nounced in recent months. Particularly
since she had been born in Florence,
Alabama, and was black as the ace of
spades, It came, hc imagined, from
scing too many late-night movies on
television where all the really high-class
help were Irish. Who wanted to be Hat-
tie McDaniel in this day and age?

Who dat who say who dat when 1 say

"Beats me—she's not my mother."

id with what seemed

who dat?” Harvey
to him enormous wit.

“Fuck you, Whitey,”
said.

"Fuck you, too, Mrs. Edwards,” H;
vey said, “You'll be sure and le
for my wife?"

“Certainly, Mr. Bernstein
‘Good night. Mrs. Edwards.

“Good night, Mr. Bernstein.”

It seemed to both of them that they
had had an amusing, informative and
perfectly plausible conversation.

All this was some time before Harvey
had seen Cathy stroking her nipples in
the window and had beat it up the street
for five (bar sized,“ so they really didn’t
count as five) martin

Alone in the selfservice elevator,
Harvey felt in many ways like an astro-
naut. In the first place, he i
less. In the second, there was a complex
array of buttons to push. Ur. DOWN. G.

Mrs. Edwards.

He tried to make contact
Control in Houston, but the bastards
were all out to lunch or something. He
considered pushing млим, which is what
he felt, but remembering his position as
housebreaker, he decided that it might
not be wise.

Your mission, he told himself sternly,
is to effect a landing, reconnoiter, bring
back a simple of dirt and be on the
Johnny Carson show.

A penciled grafito on the elevator
door brought him back to earth with no
particular re-entry problem.

“Lillian,” someone had written in a
semiliterate hand, "takes it up the ass."

Lillian. It reminded him of Gish. Which
reminded him of the old South. Which
reminded him of Mrs, Edwards. “Who dat
who say who dat when I say who dat?"
he sid aloud to Mission Control and
pushed the button marked FOUR,

Once on the fourth floor, it was re-
markably easy. There were only four
apartments; curiously enough, clearly
marked A, B, Cand D.

For the hell of it, he tried the three
other doors first. Knowing that his one-
and-only love was out for the moment,
serewing somebody somewhere, he won-
dered if perhaps Lillian of the elevator
might possibly be home. A, B and C
were locked tighter than three chastity
belts, D opened to his touch.

There was a card table with a type-
writer upon it set up in the middle of
the living room. Two of his novels and
his two volumes of poetry, in their severe
publiclibrary bindings. were on the floor
beside the card table. On the table itself
жаз a sheet of yellow paper. He gradual-
ly brought his eyes into focus. He saw
Cathy's titdrop. Tears spilled from his
eyes. His glasses, like manhole cover
contained the flood. He took them off
and shook them over her page, spraying

it with tears. He wanted to circle cach
spot. but he could not find a pencil.

The floor around the card table was
littered with rejected pants suits.

It was unspcakably hot in the apart
ment

Not bothering to check with Houston
he took the suicide weapon, his beloved
Р.38, from his hip pocket and craftily hid
it beneath a cushion, removed his clothes
and passed out on the couch

If cither Cathy or Нагусу had read his
horoscope that morning, neither of them
would have got out of bed.

Cathy tipped the doorman a dollar
and asked for the producer's limousine.
Tt was, as she had assumed it would be,
standing by. It was, she knew, a matter
of principle for personalities in from the
Coast to have chauffeur-driven. limou
g by 24 hours a day. Larry
Harvey, she remembered, had once insist
ed on a chaulleurdriven. Rolls-Royce.
But things were tighter in Hollywood
now. Probably due to all these conglom-
crate takeovers. Good managers, maybe.
But they just didn't understand show
business,
пе
her a

As they drove across the 59th Street
bridge, Cathy was feeling groovy. “I'm
dappled and drowsy and ready for
sleep.” she told the driver, who was, she
had noticed, very young and really quite
good-looking.

The driver apparently could think of
no suitable response. That's the dil-
ference between chauffeurs and cab driv-
ers. Chauffeurs keep their yaps shut.

At her front door, Cathy reached into
her purse and handed the driver Jo
anne's diaphragm. “Take this up to suite
1846.7," she said. “It contains the micro-
film,

lt must be remembered that she was
still fairly high on pot and had had no
dinner

sines stand;

akened the driver and gave him
ldress

Once inside the apartment door, Cathy
briefly considered bolting the police lock.
With the groovy director, the movie star
and now, possibly, the rather good-look.
ing chauffeur, who would be arriving
presently with her diaphragm, Joanne
appeared to be set for the rest of the night.
On the other hand, if she did decide ıo
come home, it would mean waking up,
getting out of bed and unlocking the door
Which was all right. It was the night
mare of being trapped by a now
stoned Joanne, who would insist on
recounting in appalling detail all the
fun and games that Gathy had missed by
leaving so carly. The lost soap in the tub.
What happened when the roonrservice
waiter came to clear away dinner and
found them all... and on and on and
on. In the end, Cathy decided to leave the
door unlocked. She did not share Joanne

totally

This is the way it is.

s. Slacks. Shirts. Vests. lockets. Socks. Wes!

гп Wear. Boots. 350 Filth Avenue, N.Y. 10001

Mr. Wrangler" Sportswear | |

PLAYBOY

218

conviction about a prevalence of sex
maniacs. In fact, she realized, the only
honest ie. Cod sex maniac she'd ever met
in her life was Joanne herself.

“This interior dialog, while tedious to
desaribe, took, in actual time, something
less than a 20th of a second.

She had closed the door, without lock-
kicked off her shoes and begun to
unzip her dress (Couréges) when she
noticed the naked man asleep on the
couch. Harvey was, to be accurate, not
completely naked. He was still wearing

is eyeglasses and one sock.

She recognized him immediately as the
man on the sidewalk. She studied him
for what might or might not have been a
considerable length of time. (Her time
sense was still somewhat distorted by the
por)

Harvey was a
doubt about th

She reached down and gently plucked
his glasses hom his nose. Then she
slipped them on herselt. The lenses were
about five feet thick but definitely non-
telescopic. She took them off and placed
them out of reach on the card table.
It he did ашп out to be a sex
maniac, he would obviously be easi
handle if his vision was slightly im-
paired.

Gingesly grasping the only nonnaked
portion of his body (his left foot), she
began t0 shake him. Presently, he opened
his eyes. He blinked several times. “Whe
am 17 he sid. "Now, when | need me;
he added. It seemed to Cathy to be a
rather impressive thing lor а man in his
10 say. 10 had a faintly literary
pealed to her.

mess. There was no

ria Suangler?" Cathy said.

"What?

"Ip mean,
idea of rapin
nybody, you ca
your mind.
nmediately."
"E love you," Harvey said.

Then he closed his eyes again and
appeared to drift off into sleep once
more.

There followed a series of “if onlys.”

If only she had had the sense not to go
10 the Plaza aml to lock the door after
Joanne had gone

ad murdering
n just put it right out of
niss the entire notion.

1 enough sense to
„ laughing, splashing
and frolicking with the others in the
conditioned bathroom.
If only she had had the sense to ask
the goodlooking chauffeur up for a
drink, Together, they could have got the
body on the couch into its clothes, down
the stairs, into the limousine and out of
her life.

If ошу...

She scemed to have run out of them.

Halfheartedly, she shook his foot once
more. Then she stopped. Actually, there
5 no point in awakening him until she

figured out what she was going to do
with him once he was awake.

Tt was stifling in the apartment.

Sweat caused Harvey's body to glisten,
It was rather hairy in an unattractive
way, which made him seem even more
pathetic, "There were tiny tufts of damp
fur on cach of his shoulders. Cathy
found them curiously touch

She wondered whom he had thought
he was talking to when he had said 1
Tove you

It was

¢ that she had not heard
man's lips in years, I want
yes. You have a beautiful behind
YII give you $1000 to go to Vegas
me for the weekend—yes. But, I
love you—not in a very long time.

Jigger was the last, she guessed. And.
he hud loved her, in his fashion. At least
he had actually said the words, It was
the sentence that had immediately Fol-
Jowed his declaration that had dimmed
its rom: avor just a little. "Listen,"

issue fre
you

Jigger aid, “Gersten says he'll give
us five hundred apiece to make а stag
reel for him.”

It was like the old Dan Dailey-Betty
Grable musical. She knew damn wal

Gersten didn’t want the team, honey, he
tcd her. But she didn’t have the
t 1o break it to Jigger. His ego was
delicate condition at that time,
keep-
had cut him off with nothing
but ihe Thunderbird and a further rejec
tion by her or Gersten might just have
been enough to send him off the deep
end.
» he and Jigger had made the film,
In а motel suite two blocks south of
Venta Boulevard. Опсе in front of a
cu Jigger had suddenly turned ham.
He continuously hogged the key light.
He had also insisted on the final close-
up. A tight shot of his face as he simulat-
cd orgasm. They'd asked her to squat
down under the camera and out of the
picture and give him a helping hand,
but she'd said ew that, it's his close-up,
Jet him come any way he can. Then, for
a topper, Gersten insisted he'd meant
5500 for the team. Not apiece.

So much for I love you

Cathy had a sudden impulse to cover
Harvey with a blanket, tuck him in
tenderly. kiss him on che brow and let
him sleep it oll. But as the temperature
in the apartment was at least 90 degrees,
covering him with a blanket wonld mot
have been the act of kindness that it
In have been on a different occasion.

Instead. Cathy went into the bedroom
and carefully took off and hung up the
Courréges. Then, really without thinking
about it, she stepped into the shower.
The cool water was both soothing and
refreshing. It seemed to wash away the
last of the pot. It was only as she was
beginning to relax that she remembered
the movie Psycho. The stabbing in-the
shower scene Gime to mind with remark-

able vividness. Maybe the sad, wet, hairy
thing on her couch was a sex maniac.
Maybe he was only pretending to be
asleep. Maybe at this very moment, he,
now fully alert, 20-20 vision restored by
the easily found glasses, was rummaging
wildly around the kitchen in search of
the bread kn

Without bothering to turn off the wa-
ter, she dashed out of the shower, blindly
grabbing for a towel as she went. In the
living room, his glasses were still on
the card table. His clothes were still on
the floor (mingled, as they had been,
with Joanne’s pants suits). But the door
was now open and he was gone.

Holding the towel in front of her (in
her haste, she had taken a small [acc
towel, not a large bath towel), she went
to the door and peered down the corri-
dor. Harvey, naked except for his left
sock (black), was lurching toward the
elevator. ringing bells at cach of the
three other apartments as he went.

"Now, you come back here!" Cathy
shouted after him. "I'm really vexed
with you

Vexed? She had not heard nor used
that word since she left Webb City God
knows how many years ago. It had been
one of Grandpa's favorites. though.

‘The elevator doors closed. behind Har-
vey.

If there had ever been
use the police lock, this w:
|csus-fucking-shit-ass-Christ" Cathy
Î aloud ау she strode down the corri-
dor toward the clevator, not even bother-
ng to hold the towel up in front of her.
Two of the other apartments on the
floor were occupied by hookers and the
other one by a pair of really very sweet

aggots. who loved to cook i
ally asked Cathy and
Sunday brunch. Bloody

moment to

You know what you are?” Cathy
aloud as she jammed her thumb а
the elevator button and held it there.
"You are that greatest of all literary
dichés"—she was quoting verbatim from
one of her instructors, H. B.'s, critiques
—"ihe prostitute with a heart of gold.’

“And what a dumb fucking thing that
is to bc," she added, as somewhere deep
in the intestines of the building the
elevator rumbled, farted and changed
direction.

When the elevator doors opened, H
yey was scated on the floor in a comer,
crying.

“Now, really,” Cathy said, “I
bly vexed with you!”

Harvey tried, manfully, to rise. He
sank back, however, almost at once, She
entered the elevator and attempted to
pull him to his feet. The elevator doors
closed behind her.

Someone, somewhere in the bi
had pushed a button.

In her mind, Cathy rapidly improvised
a series of possible costumes that would

m lerri

ilding,

“I said, ‘How come there aren't any soul brothers on the ark? "

219

PLAYBOY

adequately cover both of them, giving, in
addition, perhaps, the illusion of Fun
City summer chic. Two of the Beautiful
People returning from a costume ball at
Gloria Vanderbilt Cooper's, for e:
Having little to work with but one bi
sock and one wet face towel, it did not
scem promising.

Cathy draped the towel over Harvey's
lap.

The elevator doors opened.

The couple in the lobby stood there
ing foolishly. She was 2 professional

ntance who lived in 3D. He was

acq
wearing а white di cket. One of her
false eyelashes had come loose and was
dangling precariously. Harvey moancd.
Twenty-two dollars, please,” Cathy
said without hesitation. “Unless, of course,
you already have the tickets.”

The gentleman in the white dinner

acket reached automatically for his wal-

let. Gentlemen in white dinner jackets
always reach automatically for their wal-
lets. This was one of the few observable
absolutes in Cathy's lile.

This is the Elevator Theater," Cathy
said, “the smallest, dirtiest, most uncom-
fortable, most expensive ofF-off-off-Broad-
way entertainment in town.”

“Remember, darling,” White Dinner
Ket’s companion said, instantly pi
ing up the cue, “we tried 10 get tickets
from the captain at 21, but he said
there was no chance at any price?"

"Suicide to Mission Control" Harvey
said, lying now on the floor, the towel
for some reason over his face. "Mission
Сото], this is Suicide. Do you read me?
Over and out.

"Grand," White Dinner Jacket said. "I
only come to New York once a year. I
like to catch as many shows as I can.

He took a $50 bill from his wallet and
handed it to Cathy. “Keep the change,"
he said.

Cathy handed the 850 bill to the girl.
The girl pushed тике, The elevator
doors closed.

"Profusely illustrated souvenir pro-
grams are on sale inside,” Cathy said, to
ki the elevator
reached the third floor, On the third
floor, White Dinner cket made a
friendly but ineffective grab for Cathy's
left breast, His companion slapped his
wrist. "Naughty, naughty!" she said. "You
don't want to leave it all in the gym.”

Harvey moaned something incompre-
hensible through his towel.

The elevator doors opened and even-
tually dosed behind White Dinner Jack-

thy pushed FOUR.
You arc a disgrace," Cathy said to
Harvey. "A public disgrace
“J love you,” Harvey said and з
а, unsuccessfully, to pass out ag

tempt-

As she buc Humphrey Bogart once
id, “At four o'clock in the morning.

220 = ‘got to figure everybody's drunk.”

It was and is a sound observation.

God knows, Harvey was drunk. And
the couple now safely landed on the
third floor was certainly drank. By this
time, however, Cathy was off her mi
jane high and was beginning to feel ever
so slightly depressed.

She had hauled Harvey out of the
clevator, down the corridor and back
into the apartment,

The telephone was ringing.

Tt was Joanne. The chauffeur was on

the bedroom extension. The party was
just getting good.
come

Why didnt Cathy
n back in? And bring their piggy
The chaulfeur's had proved to be
al to if not larger than the produc-
Eleven silver quarters were urgently
match. But they had
nge d the cashier's

run
desk was closed for the night. They were

JI also pretty hungry and could Cathy
1 stop at Reubens on the way in and
pick up . .. she was still getting the
orders organized which kinds of sand-
wiches on what kinds of bread, some

with mustard and some without when
Cathy hung up the phone.
Like Cathy, Harvey Bernstein had

suddenly become more alert.

"You do not have, by any chance,
something to drink on the premises? If
not, and I wish to put you to no incon-
venience, I am sure there is an all-
night—it is curious that the word night is
frequently spelled N-LT-E at establish-
ments that are open ht, an unfor-
givable corrupt store open
somewhere in the neighborhood. I think
frozen daiquiris would be nice. If you
have а fresh lime or two, I shall go out
and get the rum.” He started for the door.
hy, seizing him by his shoulder
1ufis, pushed him onto the couch,

т God's sake, put on your glasses,”
Cathy said. He did so.

“And either get dressed or take off
that onc sock. You look ridiculou

Obedienty, Harvey removed his sod

He observed her carefully through his
glasses for a moment or two, then rose
and moved toward the telephone, careen-
ing off the furniture as he went.
hy stopped him just in time.

"Who do you want to call?”

“Whom do I nt to call. Not who do
I want to call. I want to call Max
Wilk, Ed Hotchner and Max Shulman
d beg their forgiveness. You are real!
ly God hy said, “you're Harvey-

Harvey Bemstein burst into tears.
“I have been in love with but three
years of life,”

t in person.
hy said nothing. There seemed to
lc to say.

Harvey found a pair of trousers on the
floor, picked them up and attempted to

put them on. They were Joanne's and he
could not get them over his kneecaps.
Cathy knelt down and helped him disen-
tangle himself, lifting first one of his feet
and then the odi

“I cried myself to sleep the night my
first love, Alice Faye, married Phil Harris,”
he continued, reaching into a nonexist-
ent pocket for a nonexistent handkerchief.
He finally settled the problem by remov-
ing his glasses and wiping his eyes with the
back of his hand.

“I have, over the years, published a
series of critical essays attacking Ai
Miller in such periodicals as the Diner's
Club magazine. Not because I did not
admire his work but because of my sec-
ond love, М; n. You, Cathy Lewis
Lovibond Lombard Lamont," he added,
“are all that is left to me now. Cathy, T
love you!”

He was sweaty and naked and drunk
and his nose was running. He had lost
his glasses again. He was covered with
hair in all the wrong places. He was just
awful. But he loved her. He did not say
he wanted her. He did not say she had a
beautiful behind. He did not offer hi
$1000 to go to Vegas with him for the
weekend. He said: Г love you.

"Tears welled up in Cathy's е

“Darling.” Cathy said, “what can 1 do?
Just tell me what I can do.”

"I love you," Harvey said. He stood,
swaying gently, by the couch.

athy was still kneeling in front of
him, holding the trousers of Joanne’s
pants her hand. They were plum-
colored, slashed deeply at the sides and
vaguely held together by what seemed to
be white shoclaces. Gene must have been
really desperate, letting her into the Gol-
ony in that ge
love you," Harvey said.

Cathy tried, But at that moment and
in his condition, it turned out not to be
an intensely practical proposition.

g. Cathy said. "I prom-

P-

Later, darli
ise! I promise!
“Ilove you.” Harvey s
She got up, took him by the hand and
led him to the bathroom. The shower,
naturally, was still running.

Gracefully leading the way, she escort-
ed him under it. Somehow, en route, he
had found his glasses again and put
them on. This caused a minor problem
under the cold cascading water. She took
them off his nose and placed them ci
fully in the soap dish, removing the
soap.

For a while, they stood together with-
out touching. Then she opened her arms
to him. He moved toward her, slipped
on the soap, bounced off the tile wall
and landed on his head.

Cathy managed to get his inert body
out of the shower before he actually
drowned.

Harvey Bernstein's first thought when
ess finally returned was that

he had gone blind. As far as he could
tell, his eyes were open. He fluttered the
lids a few times experimentally, but the
view remained the same. Total blackness.

For a moment or two, the idea of
blindness did seem to have its brighter
side. He would not have to read the
conclusion of Mrs Edna Mortimer’s
(housewife) novel nor the further non-
adventures of Harrison Bradley, probably
the world's dullest and most illiterate
general since the late Dwight D. Eisen-
г. Charles Douglas Potter's Albert's
ng crotch would be out of his life
forever. People would be kind to him.
Old ladies would help him across streets.
He could spend his days listening to
recordings of Orson Welles reading from
the Bible. He wondered if his major
medical covered loss of sight.

Tentatively, he raised his head a few
inches from what scemed to be a pillow.
A crack of light coming from under a
door stuck his line of vision. For a
moment, he felt almost wistful. So he
was not blind, after all He was just
lying in a strange room with blackout
curtains drawn. He had а bone-crushing
hangover. Certain highlights of the pre-
ceding 24 hours slowly returned to him.

He began to tremble.

Icy sweat broke out, drenching his
entire body

Then he remembered Cathy leading
him gently to the shower and tears filled
his eyes. He had been crying and sweat-
ing almost incessantly for the past two
days. All in all, he must have exuded
several gallons of fluid. Of course, he
had replaced at least that much by his
intake of neutral grain spirits.

Beside him in the bed, somcone stirred.

Cathy! Cathy! Cathy!

Experimentally, he reached out
ploring hand. What it encountered was a.
breast.

She stirred a little but did not waken.

Suddenly, he was no longer trembling,
crying or sweating. As he tenderly ca-
resed her sleeping body, the panic
drained from him. She moaned a little
happy moan as her nipples stiffened to
his touch. Gently, she took his hand
and guided it downward between her
legs. Then she herself reached down-
d.

When someone is especially skilled
and practiced at a given action
often colloquially said that he or she can
do it in his sleep.

No word was spoken as, in her sleep.
she deftly moved him into herself. 1t was
mad, trancelike and extremely pleasant.
They came together and at the ultimate
moment, Harvey, not wanting to break
the dream, refrained from whispering
ointment into her ear. Contented, she
guided him out of herself, rolled onto
her side and moved happily off into
deeper sleep.

Harvey rose from the bed and, on
tiptoe, trying in equal parts not to awa
cn her and not to trip over something
and break his neck, groped his way to-
ward the crack of light under the door.
He finally made it.

In the living room, he was temporarily
blinded by ıl Iternoon. sun-
light. He staggered to the kitchen.

“Good morning, darling,” Cathy sa
She was seated naked at the table, study-
ing The Wall Street Journal, a cup of
coffee in her haud. "I was beginning to
wonder if you were still aliv

Harvey Bernstein did the only sensible
thing а man could do at such a moment.
He turned and ran into the bathroom,
locking the door behind him.

Any American male who has survived
for 46 years has, at least once, experi-
enced the sensation of knowing that he
is at that moment stark-raving mad but
still sane enough to be aware of the fact.

With the sane part of his mind, Har-
vey watched his insane self calmly show
shave (there was a razor in the medicine
cabinet but no shaving cream; he simply
Inthered his face with a cake of Yardley's

soap), comb his hair, wrap a bath towel
ound his waist and return to the living
room. Cathy, still naked, was stretched
out on the couch, reading a copy of U. S.
News & World Report

His sane self heard the insme part of
him say, “Do you mind if 1 use the tele-
phone? I think 1d better call my wife.”

Margery and Max had returned from
the motel at 11:30 the night before. They
were prepared for the confrontation scene
with Harvey. Mrs. Edwards had finished
the bourbon and left the house, forgetting
entirely Harvey's request that she leave a

note. Harvey was not there. They had
waited until two o'clock, Finally, Max had
said, "Why don't we just leave him a note,

pack your stuff and get out of here? The
weddings at eleven and our plane's at
two. If we leave pretty soon, we can drive
to town and get some sleep.

Margery was disappointed. She had
been spoiling for a really good confvon-
tation scene for 22 years.

^I wouldn't know how to tell him in a
not

Let's divide the labor. I'm the writer.

“Ronnie, come and watch this program about
the dangers of marijuana.”

221

PLAYBOY

222

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you're the housewife. You pack and ГЇЇ
write the note. Does the silly bastard have
а typewriter around here someplace?”

“You are a very beautiful man,” Mar-
gery had said. “1 think there's an Olivet-
ti portable in the hall closet.”

“What will you tell h
as the Insane Harvey dialed the number.

“I shall tell her that I was called to
New York to meet with a publisher who
wishes to reprint my three novels and
two volumes of poctry in paperback. I
will tell her that we wined and dined,
not wisely but too well, at Le Pavillon
nd then repaired to the Oak Room Bar
and, when that at last closed, moved on
to an afterhours bottle dub of which he
an old and valued member. I will
«plain that it was all a matter of busi-
ness,”

The Sane Har
sense, aghast.

AL the other end, the phone was ring-
ing.

Presently, Mrs. Edwards picked up the
receiver. She had arrived at work with a
gover down to her toenails, But, glass
nd, she was making a nice recovery.
op o' the moming to you, Mr.
Bernstein,” Mrs, Edwards said.

"How are you, Mrs. Edwards?" Harvey
asked.

“The better for hearing the sound of
your voice, lad," Mrs. Edwards said be-
tween sips.

"Listen, Mrs. Edwards, will you please
knock off the Gaelic charm and put Mrs.
Bernstein on the phone!

“Fuck you, Whitey,” Mrs. Edwards said,

"Fuck you, Mrs Edwards,” Harvey
said, "Would you please get Mrs. Bern-
stcin."

Mss. Edwards, reduced by drink to an
uncommonly low threshold of sentimen-
burst into tears, "Missus Bernstein
gone,” she said. "She done ропе
and run off with that no-count white
¢ Wilk. She done left, bag and

„ Cathy asked

y listened to this non-

baggage She done left you a note.”
Who dit?" Harvey said.
"Who dat who say who dat?" Mrs.
Edwards said,

“Who dat who say who dat when I say
who dai?” the Insane Harvey said.

Cathy, who could hear only one end of
it, thought it the most mysterious and, in
some ways, most glorious conversation
she had ever listened to.

"Mrs. Bernstein done gone off with
Max Wilk?" Harvcy asked.

"Sure and she is after leaving me
a note and abo one for yourself, In my
note, she says for me to give you your
notc ind when that drunken son of a
bitch shows up.’ Her very words, Mr.
Bernstein. On my children's heads,

“You are, Mrs. Edwards, to the best of
my knowledge, childless," Harvey said.

"Lis the Good Lord's will.“ said Mrs.

Edwards. “But it sure ain't for lack of
try!

‘Would you be good enough, Mrs.
Edwards, to open Mrs. Bernstein's note
to me and read it aloud oyer the
phone?"

Of course, Mi
freshen my drink."

“What in God's name is going on?”

Cathy asked.
Apparently, my wife, Margery, has
run off with a bestselling writer named
Max Wilk, She has left me a note, Mrs.
Edwards, our cleaning woman, will read
it to me. As soon as she freshens her
drink.”

"Would you like some coffee?" Cathy
said.

"I would like a drink.” Harvey said.
The Sane and Insane were beginning to
merge. Harvey was fighting his way back
to what, in his case, passed for normalcy.

“Very sound," Cathy said. She went to
the kitchen and fixed two vodka and
Frescas.

Mrs. Edwards returned to the phone.
“No goddamned cigarettes in the hou:
she said. "But ] found some of Miss
Linda's pot, She keeps а stash in an cn-
velope in the family Bible. II Samuel
19:16. There's a nice little bit right here,
‘And Shimei the son of Gera, a Benjamite,
which was of Bahurim, de haste to
come down with the men of Judah to
mect king David.“ You wouldn't know,
would you, where she keeps the
papers?”

“Will you please just read me the
note.”

“Certainly.”

Then she read the note.

Bernstein. Just let me

“Dear Harvey,
t is now two o'clock in
morning. Margery is upst
ing I am ишу sorry to tell you ihi

the

love since April when we worked
together on the Westport unw
mothers thing—a project in which
you, callous to the plight of innu-
merable unfortunate young girls,
cyinced no interest whatever. In-
deed, as I recall. even declaring,
drunkenly one cvening, that you
were in favor of unwed mothers. In
any case, we have been conducting
an affair for the past two months.
We are leaving for Paris this alte
noon. My new novel has been ас
cepted by the BookoLthe-Month
Club. Phil Roth will review it for
The New York Review of Books. I've
seen the galleys, of which he was
kind enough to send me an advance
copy. Sensational! But I digress.
Margery asked me to tell you that
your daughter, Linda, and her fiancé,
Lester, arc to be married at 11 this
morning at the Abyssinian Baptist
Church by the Reverend Adam
Clayton Powell himself. H you sober

up sufficiently, you are most certain-
ly invited to attend. (Perhaps it is
important interracial efforts such as
this one that cause the Reverend
Powell to be so often absent from
Washington. Only history will tell
us if his was not, in the end, the
wiser course.) In the matter of Lin-
da, I congratulate you. You have not
failed her. In the matter of Margery,
I express regrets. You are failed. I
m successful. You drink. I no longer
do so (gout). Do whatever you sce
fit in the ma of a divorce. You
children are grown. Margery is liber-
ated. We are in no haste to marry,
so you can take your time and think
it over,

“Margery asks me to add (she has
just come down with the suitcases)
that she is writing a $5000 check on
your joint account at City National
«ding present to your daugh-
ter. The house is yours. You have
your job. You should be, she feels,
OK. She wants, of course, no alimo-
ny. As a gesture of good will, I shall
undertake to finance Bruce through
Berkel He is a beautiful boy and
T can see no reason for your frequent
and dearly uncalled-for remarks
about his appearance. Personally, I
am proud to have а semistepson
with the moral fiber to take the ac
tion he did against the d. of ad-
missions. 1 shall also be proud to
handle the bail money. Goodbye,
for now, And good luck. Believe me,
Harvey, old buddy, 11 take good.
care of her,

Fondly,
Max

P. S. H hear you're reviewing my new

book for the Diners Club maj

zine; 1 hope you like it. I think it's

the most important thing I've done so

far. Phil thinks so, too, apparently.”

Edwards" Harvey said, “listen
to me carefully. I want you to go to my
desk in the study and, in the top drawer,
you will find my checkbook. I want you
to get it and bring it back to the phone
with уо!

Mrs. Edwards, who was seated with
her fect propped up on Harvey's desk,
put down her glass, opened the drawer
and took out the checkbook.

“Done and done, me bucko.”
‘All right, now. Turn to the page with
the Jast balance on it and tell me what

the figure
“Before the check for five big ones for

Miss Linda," Mrs. Edwards said alter a
moment, “you had five thousind, one
hundred and eighty dollars and seventy-

two cents. Now you got one hundred
and eighty dollars and seventy-two
аа

My Сой”
“Ву the bye,” Mrs. Edwards said. “You
owe me for two days this week and two

“They're not up there anymore, Samuel. . . .”

days last week. That's eighty doll:

“T'I send you a check.”

"Your credit i» good with me any
time," Mrs. Edwards said, making a
She disliked vodka but had, unfortunate-
ly. finished the bourbon у
don’t suppose you'll be after w:
to come m tomorrow?”

“I don't think I can afford you.

"There was a pause.
| have a

Bern-

e day, Mr.

ste

"You, too, Mrs. Edwards.”

Harvey slowly hung up the phon

My God,” Cathy said, “what was (at
all about?

He told her.

In detail

About halfway through, she began to
giggle. By the end, she was laughing so
hard that tears were rolling down her
Mid the towel he was wear-
waist and used it to wipe

her eyes
Then she kissed him. Gently at first.

Then harder. After a while, she with.
drew her tongue from his mouth and
whispered, “Come on, darling, let's go to
bed.
Then Harvey remembered.
“qi. T C can't,” lie said.
“Why not, darling’
“Tve just been to bed."
^I mean to make love.
“1 just made love. A few minutes ago.
With someone in there. It was dark. I
thought it was you.”
"Then Cathy started to laugh аң;
How was it?”
giggles.
“Very nice, I guess“ Harvey aid. Ex.
cept she never really woke up.”

n.
she asked through her

“Joanne’s good, darling. But I'm bet-
ter. You'll

Tm fortyss

ars. old,”

Harvey

“I want to. Oh, God, how I want to. But
I don't think I can."

"Let that be my problem. I know the
magic words."

She said them and meant them.

"I love you.

They never made it to the bedroom.
‘The kitchen floor was just fine.

‘Ointment!”

“Ointment!

For a man who was indeed, 46, and
who had in his time consumed the cqui
alent of three railroad tank cars full of
alcohol, it really was an extraordinary
performance.

But then, Cathy was an extraord
girl.

After the second one, he had said, “My
God, it's not possible. Im an old man

“Thats right, darling,” Cathy had
said, “you're the Warren Beatty of Sen-
ior City.”

That had turned him on for the
third one. That and a couple of little
things that Cathy herself hadu't even
known she Lo essity, is

тү

They were lying tangled їп each
other's arms, asleep оп the floor, wh
some ter, Joanne, still drunk,
stoned and screwed silly, wandered into
the kitchen, thinking it was the bath-
room, in search of an Alka-Seltzer.

One glance was enough for her to
know that her deepest fears had finally
been realized. She instantly dashed to

223

PLAYBOY

the phone in the living room and dialed
911, the emergency number.

"Police!" she said. "A sex maniac has
broken into our apartment and raped my
roommate!”

Then she gave the address and apart-
ment number

Then, realizing that there was proba-
bly more than one sex maniac running
around loose in the borough of Queens,
she carefully fastened the police lock.

Sensing with pride that she had done
something resourceful and possibly even
heroic (she could no longer remember
what it was), she diifted back to her bed-
room, played with herself for a while
and was sleeping peacefully long before
the emergency squad arrived 40 minutes
later.

About ten minutes after Joanne’s
phone call, Cathy and H: awoke
simultaneously. They both felt marvel-
ous. And they were both starving.
"Steak," Cathy s
“Very rare,” Н,

actly. With thick slices of tomato
and raw onion, lightly garnished with a
happy mixture of imported olive oil,
red-wine vinegar and a dash of English
mustard, salt and freshly ground black
pepper to taste,”

‘They were under the shower again,
passing the soap back and forth, caress-
ing each other with warm suds.

“Golden-brown French fries with plen-
ty of catsup to glunk them in,” Cathy
said.

“Or maybe baked, with sour cream and
chives,” Harvey said.

“Or you know what's great?" Cathy
aid, gently soaping his far-more-vital-
thanhe-had-everimagined-itcould-be ог
gan. "We could have them scoop out
baked potatoes and put the skins back
into a hot oven for a couple of minutes
and then cat them with our fingers, all
glopped in butter.

In real not in literature, the

ion alter three really sensatioi

conv

1
of food.

Cathy's face, framed, as it was, by her
plastic shower cap and devoid of make-
up, did not look in the least childlike
and innocent. Jt looked depraved, las
civious and totally wanton. Which is
actly how it should have looked.

They dried each other.

They organized their hair.

Cathy put on slacks and a shirt.

Harvey put on yesterday's clothes.
Then he remembered the gun. "You'd
beter keep this” he “I was plan-
ning to commit suici

Cathy put the gur
һар.

nto her oversized

“I don't think

she said.

‘Neither do I.
“J love you.
“I love you.
Cathy unfastened the police lock and

dosed the door behind them.

They took a cab to a place in Brooklyn
called Peter Luger's Steak House, where
they understand about steak blood rare
Dut still warm on the inside, They also
know about hot, crisp haked-porato skins
and plenty of butter. The draught beer
served in huge beady-cold glass steins.

The martinis are automatically served
double in chilled wineglasses. The lemon
peels are sliced paper thin and throw a
fine spray of oil over the surface when
properly twisted. All of which tends to
keep things going till the steaks arrive.

The whitelinen tablecloths are long
enough so you can mingle legs under the
table.

"Enjoy your dinner,” the waiter said.

They did.

that will be necessary,"

Officers Bertolotti and Steinkamp burst
through the unlocked door of араг
4D with guns drawn. It had been a q
afternoon. Hot and boring. Fi
had parked their vehicle at the sh:
end of a deserted alley. Bertolt had
fallen asleep immediately. Eventually, he
had awakened and after enjoying the si-
lence for a while, switched the radio back
on in time to pick up the third call for
the rape at 2931 Northern Boulevard,

‘There were, naturally, pants suits scat-
tered all over the living-room floor.

My God!” Bertolotti said.

Don't touch anything,” Steinkamp
said. He had six months seniority on
Bertolotti and was, therefore, technically
in change.

They were 23 and 24 and had both
joined the police force in the hope of
ng the draft.

If this thing is big enough,” Stein-
kamp sid, "I mean, like, if its murder
and rape and there's drugs involved, may-

“They don't draft sergeants, do they?”
Berioloui said.

"God, 1 hope not,” Steinkamp said
just before he sneezed, accidentally dis
charging his revolver through the closed
bathroom door, the bullet lodging in the
tiled wall.

“Jesus! Watch yourself!" Bertolotti
said.

ust trying to flush the bastard out,"
with no particular con.

At the sound of the shot, Joanne
Icaped from her bed and staggered into
the living room. The light was blinding.

said, "We're here
Bertolotti’s jaw dropped.
ys been a tit man.

He had al-
wi

"We are police officers,” Steinkamp

icigency squad
Joanne yawned.
The last thing she could remember

with any clarity was being in the bath-

b with the movie star and the groovy
director.
“Listen,” Joanne said. "Why don't

self а drink?

you mad characters fix yo
Til roll us all another joint.

Steinkamp and Demoloui looked at
each other. Then they looked at. Joanne.

“What about the rapist?” Steinkamp
said.

Oddly enough, The Rapist had been
the title of the imaginary movie Joanne
had made back at the hotel suite. The
second one. The one with the movie star.
‘Cut id. "Un-

Bertolowi, was
kind of groovylooking. Joanne decided
to fix the drinks herself.

^Vodka and 'SCA?'

There was a long pause.

Bertoloui looked at Steinkamp.
Well, maybe just one,” Steinkamp
aid, “while we interrogate the witness,
"Maybe we ought to lock the door,
Bertolotti said.

“It's a police lock," Joanne said.
"What the hell,” Steinkamp said,
“we're the police.

They all laughed immoderatcl

They divided the labor. Steinkamp
locked the door. Bertoloti fixed the

drinks. Joanne rolled the joints.

Tt was terribly hot in the apartment.

After a while, Joanne sugg to
her guests that they take off their clothes.

“Absolutely rig s
loosening his ti
ce the uniform."

"They all laughed immoderately.

On the street below, the radio in
the abandoned police car continued to
crackle.

Ominously.

"Do nothing to dis-

When the cab turned the corner, there
were five squad cats and a paddy wagon
parked in front of the building.

“Gracious,” Cathy sa

"fhey stopped the cab and got out
across the street. They joined the crowd
and watched as Bertolotti, his shirttails.
out, Steinkamp, his hands above his
head, amd Joanne, wearing the bottom
half of a pants suit and a policeman’
cap, were hustled into the wagon. They
were followed by the two nice faggots
who lived in 4B (they had been cooking
dinner when the cops broke into 4D and
had come out into the corridor to sce wha
was going on; the filet de boeuf Welling-
ton was still in the oven; the crust would
be burned to a crisp) and the man in
the white dinner jacket, who had bea
going down in the clevator. The man
the white dinner jacket was rcachi

“Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who's the kinkiest little housewife
in Hendersonville, Kansas?”

225

PLAYBOY

226

automatically for his wallet as the paddy
on door closed behind them.
ng.” Cathy said, "I think it’s
time we were moving on.”

"They got back into the cab.

“Kennedy Airport,” Cathy said to the
driver.

“Where arc we going?” Harvey could
feel the feeling of being insane and
knowing it starting to creep over him

“The Coast, 1 think,” Cathy said.

“Bur how can Iz" dhe Sane Harvey
“I have my job.
‘ou hate your job."
What about my house?"

“Wire a realestate man and tell him
to sell i

“How will we live?”

‘You'll teach me to be a best-selling

for
sponsibilities
“To who?”
“To whom," Harvey said automatically.
“To whom?”
Harvey thought a minute.

years old. 1 have re-

Max was taking care of Margery and
Bruce. He himself had apparently taken
care of Linda and Lester.

"Mrs. Mortimer, the general and
Charles Douglas Potter," was the best he
could come up with

“Whom are they

“Who are they

“OF course you will. Who is the sub-
ject. Whom is the object. They are my
student

“1 can't bear the thought of you teach
ing anyone but me, Promise you'll never

“He believes in the stork,
and President Nixon

explain the difference between who and
whom to anyone else as long as we're
together. I would consider it an act of
infidelity.”

“How about the difference between
further and farther?” the Insane Harvey
said. “You've never been able to get that
straight, either.”

“What about the correct usage of that
and which?" Cathy said. She knew she
had him there. In one of his more drunk-
en letters, he had explained that only a
man named Fowler and a man named
Harold Ross, who had been editor of
The New Yorker magazine, really under-
stood the difference between that and
which and, since they were both dead, he
didn't think it actually mattered.

His inability to understand the basic
usage of that and which had always
haunted him. He bad once asked Max
Wilk and Max hadn't known, either. Oh,
he'd bullshitted a little, but in the end,
he really didn't know. It was like know-
ing how they figure what day Easter is
going to be each year. Everyone thinks
he knows, but he doesn't. Think about it
sometime.

"I have no toothbrush,” the Insane
Harvey said, changing the subject.

"hey have toothbrushes in Califor-
nia," Cathy said. “They also have them
in the can on the plane, With itty-bitty
tubes of tooth paste. I will steal you half
а dozen. They also have itty-bitty combs
and itty bitty Wash N Dris and ity bitty
samples of aftershave lotion and itty-
bitty bottles of men’s cologne. I favor
Russian Leather myself.

“I also have no money,” the Sane
Harvey said.

the tooth fairy, Santa Claus
"s Vietnam policy.”

“TWA looks askance at mone
Cathy said, producing an Air Travel Card
from her handbag. “As does the Beverly
Hills Hotel,” she said, producing an
American Express card, a Carte Blanche
card and a Diner's Club card. "Besides,
you have one hundred and eighty dollars
and seventy-two cents at the City Nation-
al and 1 have twenty-five thousand at the
Chase Manhattan

“I must remember to send Mrs. Ed-

sides,” Cathy said thoughtfully, “I
s get a job with Gersten.”
“Making dirty movies?”

Cathy shook her head, “Writing them.
If you can teach me to be a best-selling
writer, you can certainly teach me how
to write dirty movies!”

“The last movic 1 saw was Alexander's
Ragtime Band, with Tyrone Power, Don
Ameche and Alice Faye. I could never
bring myself to see a film of Marilyn's.
The sight of those ravishing lips, seventy
feet wide on the giant screen, would
have been more than I could bear.”

Cathy patted his hand and hoped that
he would not begin to cry aga

He didn't.

Instead, he began to sing, in a deep
emotion-filled baritone, These Foolish
Things Remind Me of You, a song from
his youth,

Aesthetically, it would have bı
ter if he had cried, as he was tone-di
and could not carry a tu.

The last Royal Ambassador flight
nonstop to L.A. was at ten o'clock,
boarding at 8:45. It was then eight
o'clock. Cathy flashed her Ambassador
card and had them juggle the seat assign-
ments around so they had two together in
the fourth row, which, she said, was best
for seeing the movie.

On the way upstairs to the Amb:
dor Club, she stopped at the newsstand
and bought a number of paperbacks.
"Ehe ones with the sexiest covers.

id.

Inside the Ambassador Club, they sat
in the lounge, holding hands and sip-
ping brandy, until it was time to board.

Tracy Steele was (quite literally) scared
shitless of fl
took the night flig
felt safer, somehow, if it was dark and
he couldn't sec the ground. He was
also frightened of being alone.
why he had it in his contract that Tiger
Wilson, his stunt double, bodyguard
trainer, chauffeur (Tracy was also t
fied of driving), procurer, social secretary
and nominal vice-president of several of
his less important corporations (the one
that owned the restaurants that he ос
ally found it necessary to buy, for
example), was available to him 24 hours
а day, seven days a weck, 305 days
а year. Tigers official title, as lar as
the studio was concerned, dialog

casi

director. That way, he could be paid a

grand a week, plus expenses, and still be

еп off against whatever picture Tracy

was preparing or making at the moment.
At the moment, Tracy was seated,

pants down, in a booth in the gentle-

men's room, located behind the

through the cloakroom, in the Ampass

dor Club.
А

hand,

Trace?”

"Tracy Steele groaned,

ss it under the door, will you,

baby?"
Tiger passed the stinger under the

door,
“Thanks, sweetheart,” Tracy said.
Vodka stingers helped settle Tracy's

stomach before a flight.

kc it casy,” Tiger “1

hours, we'll be back in Beverly Hill
These comforting words caused Tra-

sphincter muscles to relax.

tta baby," Tiger said.

wri

a double vodka stinger in his
nocked on the door. “You OK,

aid.

" Tracy said. It was one of his
own picturcs. "You should have checked.
it out." Unlike most actors, the sight of
himself on the screen caused him to
throw up uncontrollably.

“I got it all organized," Tiger said.
“They pur us on board fist, We sit up.
in the lounge, play gin and horse around
with the stewardesses.”

Somewhat mollificcl
body else on the plane’

Nope," Tiger said. “I checked the
manifest.”

It was a well-known fact that Tracy
Steele refused to fly if there was someone
more important than himself on the
plane. It was a matter of who would get
top billing in case of a crash. TRACY
STEELE AND 67 KILLED IN AIR DISASTER was
one thing. But being one of the 67 was
another, A lifelong Republican, he had
once fled a plane when the senior Sena-
tor from New York had, at the last
moment, boarded the Washington-New
York shuttle.

"The Senator, a friend of many years’
standing, had becn deeply offended. Tra-
cy had contributed heavily to the Sena-
tor's next campaign fund, but things had
never really been the same between them
since.

Tracy handed the empty glass out un-
der the door of the booth. "One more,
sweetheart,” he said, “and old Dad will
be just fine.”

асу said, "Any-

Harvey Bernstein collapsed in the win-
dow seat and was asleep by the time they
were airborne.

The stewardess, rolling the drink table
down the aisle, appeared to be close to

orgasm. “Guess who's on board?” she

said to Cathy.

“Tracy Steele,” Cathy said.

“Tracy Steele!" the stewardess said.

“Vodka and ice,” Cathy said.

“What about him“ The stewardess
indicated with some revulsion the sleep-
ing Harvey.

“The same.”

“Tracy Steele!" the stewardess said
again and dosed her eyes in ecstasy.

Cathy took the four itty-bitty bottles
of vodka and slipped them into her bag.
“You forgot the vodka, .

"Sorry," the stewardess said
her four more itty-bitty bottles.

You never knew when a planc was
going to be grounded in Kansas City in
the wee hours of the morning. Every-
body, no matter how well adjusted, has
his or her own superstitious fears about
air travel. And takes the necessary pre-
cautions.

“If I were you, son," the Tech lor
Tracy said on the itty-bitty Technicolor
screen, “I'd just drop that gun and come
along nice and quiet.”

Cathy yawned.

She disliked Westerns. Harvey was
asleep. And there was work to be done.
Quietly, she picked up her bag and,
ducking under the flickering i
moved up the aisle and into the lounge.

Tracy and Tiger were seated across
from each other, playing gin. The stew-
ardess was seated next to Tracy, leaning
over him, studying his hand and breath-
ing heavily. Tiger drew a jack and dis-
carded the gin card he'd been sitting
with for the past two minutes. Losing
even one hand at gin made old Tracy
break out in a nasty rash.

“What the hell.“ Tracy said. “Live

ngcrously. I'll go down with nine.”

on of a bitch," Tiger said, “got me

“Is this seat taken?" Cathy said to the

dess.

The stewardess looked up and glared.

thy smiled.

Tracy looked up, vaguely recognized

Cathy and grinned. “We eetheart,”

he said. “Long time no see

“We made a movie together once,”
Cathy sai

“So we did,” Tracy said. “So we
almost didn't recognize you with your
clothes on." It was one of the regular
jokes he made when he couldn't remen-
ber a young lady's name or where or
when they had met.
knew he didn't recognize her
and was delighted.

The stewardess rose. Tracy caught her

arm. “Sweetheart,” he said, “how about

bringing us threc vodka stingers?

Sorry, Mr. Steele," she said coldly.
Two drinks to a customer. C. А. B. regu-
tions." She flounced off to the lavatory

and closed the door behind her. It wasn't

much of an exit, but it was the best she
could manage without actually opening

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227

PLAYBOY

228

the cabin door and throwing herself out
onto Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, 35,000
feet below.

Cathy slid into her seat, opened her
bag and took out four of the itty-bitty
vodka bottles, placing two in front of
‘Tracy and two in front of Tiger.

“We aim to please,” Cathy said.

“Baby,” Tracy sid, "you are a beau-
tiful thing."

‘Tiger opened the bottles and poured
the vodka over the melting ice their
two empty glasses.

"Your deal, Trace," Tiger said.

Cathy opened her bag again and took
out one of the paperback books she had
bought at the newsstand. It happened to
be Justine; Philosophy in the Bedroom by
the Marquis de Sade. It was in dialog and.
easy to read. She had just reached the part
where Dolmance and Madame De Saint-
nge were explaining the various erog-
enous zones when the impeccably dressed
young man with the Afro hairdo and the

Colt 45 ducked politely under the movie
sercen and entered the lounge.
“Good evening,” the young man said,

flying time to Havana will MESS. ume
and twenty-two minutes. If we all remain
im and love each other, no one will be
hurt" Не bowed politely to Tracy. “A
pleasure to have you on board, Mr.
Steele, I've admired you on the screen
ever since I was a Tittle boy. More re-
cently. I've seen a number ol your older
films on television. They stand up very

вее, thanks," Tracy said
Пу and continue

1L" He glanced

stard,” he said
. He reached into Tiger's
ded the ciglu Tiger had
just drawn. " the young man
then turned, walked to the cockpit and
opened the door.

"Don't be alarmed, gentlemen,” he
id, holding the gun at the pilot’s head.
“They tell me Cuba is especially lovely
this time of year." Then he dosed the
door.

Tracy Steele's face was ashen.

He felt his stomach lurch,

How can I
Bor a meeting w
10:30 in the mornin

Cathy got out the other four itty-bitty
vodka bottles, opened them herself and
passed them one at a time to Tracy. He
drank them in cight casy gulps.

Then she reached into the bag and
produced Harvey's gun.

“Why don’t you just go up there and
take him?" she

“What?” Tracy said.

“Ме?” Tracy said.

“Why?” Tracy said.

"You have а mee
nuck tomorrow mori

he said, "I
Zanuck at

g with Dickie Za-
ing,” Cathy said.

“Besides, think of the publicity. ‘movie
STAR TRACY STEELE SAVES HIJACKED

“The kid's right,”
hell of a gimmick.”

"They wouldn't say ‘MOVIE STAR TRACY
srexie’ They'd just say “TRACY STEELE."
Everybody knows I'm a movie star. I'm а
household word. They only put ‘movie
star” in front of somebody's name with
kids you never heard of. Real movie
stars, all they need is the name itself.
Why don't you take him, Tiger?"

Tiger was beginning to enjoy himself
for the first time in 11 years.

“Jeez, Trace,” he said, “I'd love to.
But, I mean, how would it look, “Tracy
STEELE'S DIALOG DIRECTOR SAVES HIJACKED
PLANE? What kind of shit is that

“We could tell the papers I did i

“Witnesses, The pilots and everybody. 1
don't think we could make it stick,” Tiger
said

B acy looked at Cathy.
ie shook her head.

Tac shrugged. The last four itty-
bitty bottles of vodka had just hit bot-
tom.

"Well, maybe you're right" he said.
“What do you think I should doi

“Go up there,” Tiger said, "open the
door and stick the la un up against
the back of that |

“Then what? I got to say something. I
got to have some kind of dialog.”

Cathy said: “Why don't you try, ‘If 1
were you, son, I'd just drop that gun and
come along n

"Sure, Trace,” Tiger said, "You can
remember that. You said it in your last
picture.”

"Tracy considered the matter carefull

“What time is it in Califomi: c
said. “I mean, there's no point in getting
my ass shot off if we miss the early
E the L. A. Times.”
is not just I.A, Trace,” Tiger
said. “This is big. Every wire service in
the world will be waiting when we hit
irport, TV cuncras. Telstar, Think
е Zanudes face when you walk
is office tomorrow m.
Tracy Kid. "TII do it. I just
have to take a crap first

“Oh, for God's sake," Cathy said.
"Come on!" She pulled Tracy to his feet,
led him to the cockpit door and put the
gun in his hand,

“OK, action!” she said, yanking the
cockpit door open with one hand and
shoving Tracy forward with the other.

“If I were you, son,” the int L
ly famous voice droned, “I'd just drop
that gun and come along nice and
quiet;
The flight engineer,
head Tracy had
dropped the revolt
against the young
slowly raised his hands,

“My God,” the pilot said wearily,
without taking his eyes from the con-

Tiger said. Ars a

against whose
pressed the P-38,

he was holding
‹Кег'з head and

trols, "where do you want to go?"

“L.A,” Tracy said. “I have а me
with Dickie Zanuck in the morning.

Even the young hijacker was im-
pressed

“IE my Cuban plans have been foiled,”
he said, “could I at least have your
autograph?”

“I thought you'd never ask," "Tracy
said. That was another of his standard
jokes. One he used to demonstrate hu-
mility in the presence of his fans.

“Would you mind making it out to
my wife? She's back in tourist.”

Tracy grinned his $1,000,000-against-
ten-percent-of-the-gross grin, handed the
P-38 to the flight engineer and reached
for his fountain pen.

Cathy mixed herself a double vodka
and ice from the unguarded drink table,
waved a polite good night to Tiger, who,
for reasons of his own, appeared to be
convulsed with laughter, and made her
way back to her scat. Harvey was still
sleeping. She kissed him gently on the
brow and sat there in the darkness, sip-
ping her drink and making plans for their
future.

The Los Angeles International Air-
port, which is usually quiet at midnight,
was jammed. Two press conferences
(separate but equal) were being held
simultaneously. At one, Tracy was ex-
plaining how he had singlehandedly
disarmed the craved hijacker. At the
other, Lester sat silently while Linda,
his wife of one day, held forth on the
subject of her husband's martyrdom.
While her husband was in jail, she
explained, she would occupy her time
by writing a book on the black-power
movement and the joys of interracial
marriage

Had she ev
a reporter asked.

No, she said, but her father, a famous
teacher of creative writing at the Best
Selling Writers’ School in Stratford, Con-
necticut, would certainly help her.

Cathy led rhe still-dazed Harvey
through the crowds. There were no tas
to be had, but. naturally, since Tracy
was on the planc, there was a limousine
standing by.

r, Stecle’s са

"The driver nodded.

“The Beverly Hills Hotel," Cathy said.

"The driver stared at her,

Cathy stared back.

She had been hijacking limousines
longer than the driver (a temporarily
unemployed actor) had been driving
them.

“Yes, ma'am,” he finally said.

Harvey was asleep once more, with
head in Cathys Jap, as the limousine
drove off into the black Los Angeles

night.
[Y]

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